L I B RAHY 
 
 OF THE 
 
 UN IVLRSITY 
 
 Of 1LLI NOIS 
 
 823 
 
 u57a 
 
 v.l
 
 CROMWELL DOOLAN; 
 
 OR, 
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 
 
 BY 
 
 THE AUTHOR OF 
 
 '"' ECHOES FROM THE BACKWOODS," &C. &C. 
 
 IN TWO VOLUMES. 
 VOL. I. 
 
 LONDON: 
 HENRY COLBURN, PUBLISHER 
 
 GREAT MARLBOROUGH STREET. 
 1849.
 
 LONDON: 
 
 Printed by Schulze and Co., 13, Poland Street.
 
 
 TO 
 THE RIGHT HONOURABLE 
 
 LORD RANCLIFFE, 
 
 &c. &c. &c. 
 
 THE FOLLOWING PAGES ARE DEDICATED 
 
 o BY 
 
 u 
 
 HIS AFFECTIONATE NEPHEW, 
 ~0 
 
 3 
 
 r 
 
 L 
 
 THE AUTHOR.
 
 CROMWELL DOOLAN 
 
 OR, 
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 Let Erin remember the days of old, 
 
 Ere her faithless sons betrayed her ; 
 When Malachi wore the collar of gold, 
 
 Which he won from her proud invader : 
 When her kings, with standard of green unfurl'd, 
 
 Led the red-branch knights to danger, 
 Ere the emerald gem of the western world 
 
 Was set in the crown of a stranger. 
 
 TOM MOORE. 
 
 Lough Dereverragh, or the Lake of 
 Donore, as it is sometimes called, is a noble 
 sheet of water in the County of Westmeath, and 
 has long been celebrated for the quality of its 
 fish, and for their peculiar gameness in taking 
 
 VOL. I. B
 
 2 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 the fly; so much so, that when the May-fly 
 appears upon it, some fifty or sixty boats may 
 be daily seen, each containing two or three 
 anglers, intent upon the destruction of the 
 wily trout; the more sportsman-like endea- 
 vouring to entice them to the surface by an 
 artificial imitation of the green drake, whilst 
 others, the greater poachers, endeavour to suc- 
 ceed by impaling a couple of live drakes dos-a- 
 dos on a small hook, and, by the aid of a 
 gossamer-like line of floss silk, gently conduct 
 the unfortunate and writhing flies over the 
 greedy trout. We have, however, no wish to 
 enter into any dissertation on angling, the 
 public having been quite overwhelmed, of 
 late, with theoretic books upon an art which, 
 like most others, is to be acquired by practice 
 alone. 
 
 The upper end of Lough Dereverragh is 
 divided into two branches, by the bold and 
 wooded hill of Knock Ross, which, feathered 
 down to the water's edge, presents a mass of
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 3 
 
 stunted oak, hazel, and mountain ash, — at 
 the end of May and early in June, thickly 
 interspersed with magnificent hawthorns, loaded 
 with blossom, in grand contrast to the early 
 greens of summer ; these, on a calm day, may be 
 seen reflected, in swimmy faithfulness, on the 
 dark and deep bosom of the waters beneath ; 
 here and there a rock breaks the line of wood, in 
 particular one known as the " White Rock." In 
 the " after season," and when the scarlet berries 
 of the mountain ash have taken the place of the 
 snow-like hawthorn, if the angler does not rise a 
 fish under that rock, he may as well put up 
 his tackle, return his flies to his book, and row 
 his boat to shore. 
 
 The southern branch of the lake is bounded 
 by Knock-Body, likewise covered to the water's 
 edge with wild coppice-wood : here the holly 
 predominates, whilst the Crooked Wood, a fine 
 undulating mass of oak, birch, and holly, 
 closes in this arm of the lake to the eastward. 
 Knock-Ion, the most lofty hill in Westmeath, 
 
 B 2
 
 4 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 towers in perpendicular height seven hundred 
 and seven feet above all. This likewise is 
 clothed, for three parts of its height upwards, 
 with the same description of wild wood ; all 
 being, at the season at which we have chosen to 
 introduce the reader to this beautiful lake, 
 carpeted with blue-bells, primroses, and wood 
 anemonies. The "busy bee" has commenced 
 her labours for the approaching winter, and that 
 short-lived ephemera, the May-fly, hangs in 
 countless thousands upon every stone, bulrush, 
 or reed, on the leeward shore. Theirs is indeed 
 but a short existence; the same evening they 
 fade and become grey. Hatched at the bottom 
 of the lake, by the increasing warmth of the 
 water, they rise to the surface, extricate them- 
 selves from their filmy cradle, and fly forth — a 
 prey to the greedy trout, which race at them, 
 and take them down in thousands as they get 
 entangled in the streaks of froth. What a sub- 
 ject for the philosopher is the brief existence of 
 this same ephemera ! Were we disposed to
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 5 
 
 moralize, we might say that, in comparison with 
 eternity, and with many of the wonderful works 
 of the Almighty, our own existence on this 
 earth may be but as that of the May-fly appears 
 to us. 
 
 But the day is fine ; the sun shines ; the 
 surface of the lake, otherwise as smooth as glass, 
 is broken into continual rings by the splashing 
 of the trout. The anglers' rods are standing 
 upright in either end of their boats ; the floss- 
 silk line hangs straight ; there is not even suf- 
 ficient air stirring to float out the poaching 
 " dap." Parties are rowing in all directions 
 towards the rude stone piers, or landing-places, 
 along the different shores of the lake ; some, to 
 await a change in the day ; others, to discuss 
 the contents of well-filled baskets — cold fowls, 
 tongues, mayonnaises of chicken ; — to " blow a 
 cloud" (there is not one in the heavens), or to 
 listen to the witty jokes of the boatmen. But, 
 hark ! a strain comes along the waters : it is 
 one of the most beautiful of Erin's own beautiful
 
 6 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 melodies, exquisitely played upon the cornoco- 
 pean. All are attentive — 
 
 On Lough Neagh's banks, as the fisherman strays, 
 When the clear cold eve's declining, 
 
 He sees the round towers of other days 
 In the wave beneath him shining. 
 
 But we are digressing fearfully : it is time to 
 demand pardon, and to proceed with the 
 description of Lough Dereverragh, and once 
 more to return to Knock-Ion. 
 
 Far up in the face of the hill, and marked by 
 a single tree of larger growth, and parts of a 
 naked rock jutting forth from amongst the rich 
 foliage, is a thickly-covered recess, up to which, 
 from the water's edge, is a narrow, steep, shingly 
 and tangled path ; in the embowered recess, and 
 under the great tree, is the Holy Well, held in 
 great repute by the Roman Catholic peasantry 
 for its miraculous efficacy in the cure of various 
 disorders ; while that which appears from the lake 
 as a rock, is, in reality, the remains of a her-
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 7 
 
 mitage, erected in olden times of ascetic practices, 
 the retreat of a holy man. This place is called, 
 St. Coragh's Well. Tradition assigns to St. 
 Coragh the reputation of having been a great 
 sinner ; he was Abbot Superior of the Monastery 
 of Kells, in the county of Kilkenny, and, the 
 monks having been expelled and the monastery 
 dilapidated, the chief sinner wandered forth to 
 find a place suited to a course of self-denying 
 penitence. At length he reached Knock-Ion 
 Hill, and fixed upon this lone, dreary and diffi- 
 cult spot, to pass the remnant of his days in 
 prayer and penance. Upon the more accessible 
 shore of Knock Ross, he erected, with his own 
 hands, a chapel, wherein he officiated and heard 
 confessions, crossing the arm of the lake, morn- 
 ing and evening, whenever the weather per- 
 mitted, in a boat, formed by himself, of a cow's 
 hide. 
 
 Following the north shore, we come to a bold 
 point overlooking every part of the lake ; on this 
 eminence, in olden times, stood a baronial castle,
 
 8 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 whose embattled towers once displayed the 
 pennants and banners of Mortimer, Earl of 
 March, who lost his life in battle with the chief 
 of the O'Briens, when representing the person 
 and powers of his weak and unfortunate master, 
 Richard II. 
 
 This castle, which covered, including its area, 
 more than an acre of ground, was surrounded 
 by a deep ditch, and, judging from the lines of 
 its foundations, it was on the plan, and could 
 not have been much, if at all, inferior in mag- 
 nitude to the Castle of Trim. Not many years 
 ago, a considerable portion of the ruins was 
 standing, but was pulled down, and the stone 
 carried away to build the cottages of the 
 peasantry. 
 
 Continuing along the same shore, we arrive 
 at the point of Kiltoom, a green, park-like 
 promontory, studded with hawthorns, and ter- 
 minating, lakeward, in boulders, amongst which 
 lie the finest trout. From this point the lake 
 expands in width, one end terminating in a
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 9 
 
 bight closed by the woods of Coolure. The long 
 green point of Derragh is then turned, and the 
 Inny, a sluggish river, finds its way into the 
 lake, washes the Clonave shore, and flows on to 
 mingle its waters with those of the Shannon. 
 
 Directly in front of Clonave is the beautiful 
 demesne of Donore ; and now, having made the 
 tour of the lake, we are at the village of 
 Multifarnham, a small hamlet situated on the 
 River Gaine, about half a mile above the 
 point where that alternately sluggish, alternately 
 dancing stream, terminates its course, and sinks 
 all further trace in Lough Dereverragh. 
 
 On the right bank of the River Gaine, and 
 about a mile above the village of " Multy," 
 stands the rock of Tyfarnham, bold and im- 
 posing. From this the Lords of O'Neil took 
 their title of Earls of Tyfarnham. 
 
 The family of the O'Neil was one of the few 
 which could boast of a pure Milesian descent ; 
 they had been Earls of Tyfarnham for many 
 generations ; and it was with no little pride that 
 
 B 3
 
 10 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 the last Lord would point out to his visitors a 
 picture which hung in his hall, representing an 
 ancestor, Dermod O'Neil, (one of the most 
 powerful of the red-branch Knights of Ulster) — 
 armed with a battle-axe, his head bare, and hair 
 flowing on his shoulders, his linen vest with long 
 and flowing sleeves, dyed with saffron, and his 
 person surcharged with short military harness, 
 leaning on the arm of Noah, as they debouched 
 from the ark together. 
 
 Owing to the constant wars which scourged 
 this unfortunate country, and the fearful and 
 bloody rebellion of the seventeenth century, 
 which was said to have been hatched in the 
 Priory of Multifarnham, the O 'Neils, by de- 
 grees, lost much of their once mighty pos- 
 sessions in Westmeath. The old castle of 
 Tyfarnham, on the slope of a hill hard by the 
 River Gaine, fell into ruin ; the rock now alone 
 standing, a grim sentinel, over these once mighty 
 possessions; a monument to attest the un- 
 certainty of human pride.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. ] 1 
 
 Towards the close of the eighteenth century, 
 little else was left to Gerald O'Neil, save a 
 long pedigree and the old family picture. He 
 had married the Lady Eva Nugent, daughter of 
 Lord Drinmore, to whom the old castle on the 
 opposite shore, already described, belonged. 
 The Lady Eva was the greatest beauty of her 
 day — her father had been for many years 
 ambassador at foreign courts, and his daughter 
 was as accomplished as she was beautiful. She 
 died, however, in giving birth to a son, which 
 had such an effect on the O'Neil, that he fell a 
 prey to melancholy; at first, became morose, 
 and later, took to gambling, cock-fighting, and 
 their necessary adjuncts, low company, — 
 
 flatterers of the festal hour 
 
 The heartless parasites of present cheer. 
 
 Amongst the host of satellites, blood-suckers, 
 toadies (or whatever be the correct appellation 
 for those members of society who make their 
 way by an abject system of flattery), that sur-
 
 1 2 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 rounded the O'Neil, was one Terence Doolan, 
 who had been originally brought up as an at- 
 torney. After having most successfully practised 
 that calling for several years, the attorney had 
 the sagacity to discover the above weakness in 
 the O'Neil, for whom he had repeatedly to 
 borrow money and to renew bills. He de- 
 termined to possess himself of the remnant of 
 the Tyfarnham property, and soon found the 
 means to be of use to the O'Neil in his petti- 
 fogging occupation. A poor man had been 
 detected, as concerned with others, in the dis- 
 tillation of illicit whisky. These men had 
 been employed by the O'Neil himself, and the 
 very still which the gaugers had seized, was his 
 property. Not wishing, however, that his 
 name should appear in the transaction, the 
 O'Neil sent for Doolan, to get him out of the 
 scrape. It so happened, that the poor man 
 who had been taken up, also applied to Doolan 
 to defend him. The wily attorney deliberately 
 weighed the matter, and came to the conclusion
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 13 
 
 that it would materially assist him in the com- 
 pletion of his scheme, to throw over the poor 
 man for the rich. Should he clear Roddy, he 
 would gain much popularity in the neighbour- 
 hood, of which he was very ambitious; but 
 what was that in comparison with the furthering 
 of his great end — that of making himself master 
 of the wreck of the Tyfarnham property ? 
 
 Accordingly, he contrived to get the unfor- 
 tunate wretch transported, and obliged the 
 O'Neil to silence the informers with a large 
 sum of money, the greatest part of which, 
 however, found its way into his own pocket. 
 
 We must now make mention of Peggy 
 Roddy, whose husband Terence Doolan had 
 thus been the means of transporting. Her 
 wrath was fearful, and there was that in her 
 character which led many persons to regard her 
 as something more than human. It was im- 
 plicitly believed by the peasantry that she dealt 
 largely with Banshees, and that, every night, 
 as regularly as the great clock at the Abbey
 
 14 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 of Multy struck the first hour after midnight, 
 she embarked in her cot, descended the Inny, 
 and, in company with Pierce Flynn, the Wild 
 Man of Clonave, who acted as her Charon, 
 visited the Fairy Ring on the point of Kiltoom. 
 From thence they were said to paddle to Knock- 
 Ion, where, leaving her cot in Pierce's charge, 
 she ascended the mountain, to the Holy Well, 
 and knelt in prayer with one of the successors of 
 St. Coragh. 
 
 Peggy Roddy monopolized the sole trade 
 of fortune-telling in that part of the country, 
 and was an oracle, on all points of lore, amongst 
 the superstitious peasantry. Report said that 
 Pierce Flynn was attached to her by nearer 
 and dearer ties than companionship; that they 
 were very nearly connected, and that the blood 
 of the O 'Neils flowed in their veins. 
 
 Pierce Flynn was looked upon by the 
 country people as an idiot; he shunned as 
 much as possible all human association, save 
 Peggy's; never ate in the presence of any
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 15 
 
 one, and was generally supposed to take up 
 his abode with the cows. His hair and beard 
 remained unshorn, and he was occasionally to 
 be seen covered with a complete thatch of 
 rags, so much so that the passer-by could not 
 help arresting his progress in order to discover 
 by what ingenuity they had ever been con- 
 nected together and placed upon him ; or how, 
 if once taken off, they could again be put 
 on in the same manner. In the warm weather, 
 he was often encountered half naked, always 
 carrying a huge branch, or club, cut from the 
 crab-tree, and bare-footed : it was said he 
 could walk over thorns without wounding his feet. 
 Flynn was much attached to the O'Neil, 
 and, being a picturesque figure, had been 
 painted for him by the son of the family 
 butler, who shewed so much talent for the 
 art that the O'Neil was induced to send him 
 to Italy, to improve himself, and benefit by 
 the works of the old masters; which cir- 
 cumstance, accidentally, as will appear, was of
 
 1 6 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 great importance to the hero of this nar- 
 rative. 
 
 Peggy Roddy's habitation was situated in 
 the midst of the great red bog bordering the 
 River Inny, which was almost inaccessible, 
 and few there were who would venture to 
 cross it : even the very gaugers were afraid 
 to pursue their occupation over that part of the 
 bog. Since her husband had been trans- 
 ported, Peggy gave out publicly that no gaugers 
 who ventured near her abode should ever return 
 alive ; and so implicitly was it believed that 
 she was gifted with supernatural powers, that, 
 for many years after, no officers had the te- 
 merity to make the attempt. 
 
 Although Doolan had succeeded in pillaging 
 the O'Neil to a very large average, still he 
 was not satisfied: he had determined upon 
 getting the family property into his possession, 
 and planned the following diabolical scheme. 
 Assassins, and men who would commit the 
 foulest of crimes, were easily hired in those
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 17 
 
 days, and, unfortunately, half a century has 
 done little to obliterate this stain upon the na- 
 tional character. Half-a-dozen villains were soon 
 found, to do any bidding of Terence Doolan's. 
 It was arranged that these men should meet 
 at night-fall, in a deep, narrow glen, situated 
 at the back of Knock-Body, and leading to the 
 village of Multifarnham. This glen, which was 
 pitched upon as the place of rendezvous be- 
 tween Doolan and his hirelings, extended for 
 about a mile, and was closely and darkly shaded 
 by wood on either side ; and from this circum- 
 stance has been from time immemorial called, 
 in Irish, " Glan mille dhu" or the Glen of 
 the Dark Mile. 
 
 It so happened that Pierce Flynn had 
 wandered to this Glen of the Dark Mile 
 on the evening of the night in question, 
 and was involved in the thicket, when 
 he overheard the conspiring murderers de- 
 liberately plan their work of destruction, 
 which was to be so executed that no pos-
 
 18 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 sible clue should exist as an evidence of 
 their guilt. 
 
 The brutality of the plot caused an excla- 
 mation of horror to escape from the reputed 
 idiot; which betrayed his presence, and he 
 was immediately seized. Flynn was not alto- 
 gether unable to feign when policy was needful : 
 he affected to be hurt by the reaction of a 
 strained hazel-bough. The conspirators were 
 satisfied that they incurred no danger from the 
 comprehension of an idiot, and they suffered 
 him to depart unhurt. 
 
 Sunday night had been selected by Doolan 
 for carrying his intentions into effect, the whole 
 family being usually collected on that night. 
 
 No sooner did the villains release Pierce 
 Flynn, than he fled, as swiftly as he could, 
 to Tyfarnham. It wanted but half an hour 
 to the time when the plan laid by the 
 murderers would be carried into effect; so, 
 Flynn, watching his opportunity, and unper- 
 ceived by any one, carried off the little heir —
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 19 
 
 to whom he was very much attached, gained 
 his cot, and ferried himself over to Clonave ; 
 and, by a path known only to himself and 
 Peggy, succeeded in reaching her cabin with 
 the child. 
 
 Terence Doolan never found out that the child 
 had escaped. The men concerned in the mas- 
 sacre claimed the reward, declaring that they 
 had destroyed the O'Neil, the child, and every 
 one of the domestics. 
 
 Terence boldly advertised a handsome reward 
 for the discovery of the murderers of the O'Neil 
 — an offer, it is needless to say, never responded 
 to ; at the same time claiming the estate, for 
 money owing to him. He had not enjoyed the 
 result of his villany long, before he became 
 ambitious of obtaining a coat of arms : he dared 
 not, however capable he was of any fraud, adopt 
 those of the family he had destroyed. The 
 Tyfarnham crest was a hawk seizing a heron ; 
 the motto i Ardua petit ardea.' By a little 
 alteration, and by a large bribe, he contrived to
 
 20 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 establish for himself and his heirs an entry with 
 the Norroy King at Arms ; — on an escutcheon, 
 bearing a field verte, three sharks proper, sur- 
 mounted by a crest, a sparrow pecking at a 
 wheat-sheaf; and for his motto he took ' Et mea 
 messis erit.' 
 
 Wild-Goose Lodge, was the name Doolan 
 gave to the residence which he built, on a rising 
 ground, to the left and rear of the village of 
 Multifarnham. The spot was well chosen, and 
 the view from the eminence on which the house 
 stood extremely grand. Directly in front lay 
 the lake of Donore — below, the ruined towers 
 of the Abbey, and the green point of Kilfcoom, 
 dotted over with hawthorn-bushes, behind 
 which the spire of Castle Pollard Church, 
 and the embattled turrets of Pakenham Hall, 
 peered from amongst dark masses of wood. 
 The moat of Granard was just to be distin- 
 guished on the outline of a blue hill, and Cairn 
 Clanhugh backed the vast and wide expanse of 
 purple bog, through which the course of the
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 21 
 
 Inny might be traced, nearly from its rise at the 
 outlet of Lough Sheelan, to its entry into Dere- 
 verragh ; whilst, towering over all — the last lit 
 by the setting sun, and the first to frown 
 upon Terence when he looked forth from his 
 chamber, was the rock of Tyfarnham.
 
 22 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 "That's a pretty bird, gran'ma," said a child. 
 "Yes," replied the old dame, "and he never cries." 
 " That's because he's never washed," rejoined the 
 youngster. — American paper. 
 
 The night of the 29th of February, 18—, 
 was the important one on which the hero of 
 the following tale made his debut in this wicked 
 world. Whether he was found — as many 
 nurses affirm that infants are — in a celery-bed, 
 or whether he came, " riding in at the window, 
 booted and spurred,' ' can signify but little : — 
 he arrived. 
 
 Now, this arrival of the child's had been 
 marked by some curious presages and portents, 
 one or two of which, as becomes faithful 
 chroniclers, we are bound to relate. At nine
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 23 
 
 o'clock of the evening when his appearance was 
 expected, a total eclipse of the moon took place ; 
 an event which, as a matter of course, was duly 
 registered in every almanac, and which was 
 further impressed on the minds of sundry aunts, 
 cousins, and other relations, assembled, by the 
 entrance of the butler, old Corks, who, ad- 
 vancing into the middle of the room, in the 
 most dignified manner, as if to announce dinner, 
 with his rubicund countenance indicating a 
 strong attachment to the family port, in a 
 sonorous voice proclaimed that " the eclipse was 
 quite ready." 
 
 After such an event, to say nothing of his 
 having been born on the last day of February, 
 little else could be expected but that the 
 child would prove a prodigy. In this, his 
 anxious parent was not mistaken. He had 
 several wet nurses, not one of whom lasted him 
 for any time. Long before the period for his 
 being legitimately promoted to a dry one, he had 
 placed three of the former hors de combat, and 
 was obliged to a bottle, filled with asses' milk,
 
 24 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 and over the neck of which a piece of vellum was 
 stretched, for the means of his daily existence. 
 It is in justification of his future career that we 
 are bound to mention this fact ; as, should any 
 thing strange appear in his disposition, it may 
 fairly be traced to the fluid obtained in this un- 
 natural manner, and from an animal to which 
 so strong a stigma is generally attached. 
 
 Great attention was paid to the health of the 
 child, and a silver boat, which had been pre- 
 served for many years in the family, and the 
 spout of which was twisted into all manner of 
 shapes but the original one, by the spasmodic at- 
 tempts of the rising generations to avoid copious 
 draughts of castor oil and peppermint there- 
 with administered, was frequently in requisition. 
 
 There existed in Ireland, at the beginning of 
 the present century, a custom which, although 
 now obsolete, was very fashionable, even amongst 
 the better classes of society, at the time — that 
 of sending young children "out" to be weaned. 
 Peggy Roddy, to whom we have alluded in the last 
 chapter, was generally supposed to be, notwith-
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 25 
 
 standing her reputed dealings with banshees, the 
 most trustworthy and careful guardian of " the 
 young idea" for many miles round ; and, to the 
 accomplishment of weaning children, she added 
 that of making preserves better than any house- 
 keeper in the neighbourhood. Whenever she 
 was employed by the ladies of the county in the 
 manufacture of their jams, she was obliged to 
 take her young charges with her ; conveying 
 them on her back in a cleave, a sort of basket, 
 made of hazel rods, generally employed by the 
 country people, for the purpose of carrying 
 their potatoes or turf. In the bottom of the 
 cleave were placed either flaggers or rushes, 
 and upon them the candidate for Peggy's atten- 
 tion. 
 
 We have seen that the scion of the O'Neil had 
 been carried off by Pierce Flynn, and deposited 
 in Peggy's charge, since which she had under- 
 taken that of the third son of Terence Doolan, 
 after his receiving the baptismal name of 
 
 VOL. I. C
 
 26 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 Cromwell, and being inducted into a dress made 
 in one piece — coat, waistcoat and trowsers, or, as 
 the Americans have it, all standing ; a garment 
 which, if not becoming, is not without its merit, 
 inasmuch as it cost Mrs. Roddy very little 
 trouble to insert her charge into it : the child, 
 being held up to a certain height, was regularly- 
 lowered into the contrivance, and the whole was 
 fastened by one button at the back of the 
 npck. 
 
 Thus, Cromwell Doolan and the young 
 O'Neil, by a strange fatality, found themselves 
 " kish companions," and foster brethren, under 
 Peggy's protection. Carried abroad, these kish 
 companions had attracted the attention of a little 
 girl belonging to a neighbouring house, where 
 Mrs. Roddy had a large undertaking in the jam 
 line, and to which she was summoned on many 
 successive days. Kathleen was one of the most 
 lovely little creatures that the light of heaven ever 
 shone upon; blue eyes, arched eyebrows, the
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 27 
 
 very longest eyelashes softening the blue orbits, 
 the darkest brown hair — and when we add to 
 these a dimple upon each cheek whenever she 
 smiled, which was whenever she looked upon 
 the young O'Neil — for he was her decided 
 favourite, we have the portrait of a being as 
 perfect as any of those divine little angels 
 painted on the walls of the Camera di Correggio, 
 at Parma. 
 
 The foster-children had been about six weeks 
 together inhabitants of Peggy's cabin ; and, 
 thanks to the cabbage-stalks with which the 
 wild man of Clonave supplied them, the cutting 
 of their teeth proceeded more rapidly than any 
 manufacturer of Anodine necklaces could possibly 
 have ensured, and the period was fast approaching 
 when Cromwell would be returned to his 
 parents, — but that event came off rather prema- 
 turely. 
 
 It was about this time that Terence Doolan 
 gained the information that the heir of the 
 
 c 2
 
 28 CROMWELL DOOLAN J OR, 
 
 O'Neil had escaped the destruction which he had 
 planned — had been carried off by Pierce Flynn, 
 and was under protection of Peggy Roddy. 
 Terence feared that his schemes would prove 
 abortive unless he got the child into his power ; 
 but, knowing the character he had to deal with, 
 he determined, before proceeding to extremities, 
 to get his own son out of her clutches. In this, 
 however, he was disappointed, for, through the 
 same agency which had informed him of the 
 existence of the young O'Neil, Peggy Roddy had 
 been apprised and warned of the danger. 
 
 At midnight the young Doolan was left, 
 carefully covered up in a kish, at the Hall door 
 of Wild-Goose Lodge, and Peggy Roddy had 
 fled the country. 
 
 On disengaging the child from the kish, it 
 was discovered that a portion of one of his ears 
 had been torn off, and that the lacerated part 
 which was left, had scarcely healed over. While 
 under Peggy's charge, one day, when she was
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 29 
 
 engaged in the manufacture of preserves at the 
 mansion above alluded to, she had, according 
 to her usual practice, left the children in their 
 kish, and the little Kathleen had rocked their 
 cradle, and played with them until the whole 
 party fell fast asleep. Suddenly, the girl was 
 awakened to a sense of her situation, or rather 
 to that of her young charges, by a faint scream ; 
 a pig had forced open the half-door of the still- 
 room, had upset the crib in which the boys lay 
 asleep, and was in the act of escaping, with the 
 lower part of one of their left ears. Peggy had, 
 however, applied all the cooling lotions for the 
 concoction of which she was famous, and had 
 paid all due attention to that part of the boy's 
 ear that Providence and the pig had left. 
 
 Cromwell Doolan's introduction to his brothers 
 and sisters was anything but agreeable ; he cried, 
 and would not be comforted for many days; 
 but sundry kicks from the two elder boys, and 
 occasional boxes on the side of the head — every
 
 30 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 one of which caused his wounded ear to bleed 
 afresh, soon taught him to cease crying, or 
 lisping Kathleen's gentle name ; and long after 
 the time that a child's memory is considered to 
 last, she dwelt in his. 
 
 For the above reason, young Cromwell 
 detested his brothers; and this detestation was 
 further augmented by a custom which existed 
 amongst the young Doolans, of choosing their 
 dinners on their birthdays. 
 
 Ducks and green peas, and gooseberry fool, 
 were the bill of fare chosen by Ireton, the eldest 
 boy, who was lucky enough to have been born 
 in the fruit season, namely, on the 15th of June. 
 The next scion of the Doolan family, and who, 
 from the very first birth-day which fell for his 
 choice, shewed the greatest inclination to gluttony, 
 was born on the 29 th of September, and for 
 ten successive birth- days feasted on a roasted 
 goose stuffed with potatoes, each mouthful of 
 which he carefully smothered in apple sauce;
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 31 
 
 and, for his second course, he invariably bespoke 
 " buttered eggs." 
 
 The young lady, Miss Shelah Doolan, was born 
 in April, and for her dinner, being of a remark- 
 ably delicate disposition, she ordered a sucking 
 pig, with prune sauce, and, for her second course, 
 unlimited relays of pancakes. 
 
 Alas, poor Cromwell ! dire cause had he for 
 jealousy ; a roly-poly pudding was his only weak 
 point ; but, born on the 29 th of February, (Leap 
 Year), he had only once in four years the chance 
 of ordering his beloved dog in a blanket. He 
 was too young for the first anniversary of his 
 birth, and on the second he was far away from 
 Wild-Goose Lodge, and his ill-natured brethren. 
 
 To the fatal epoch then, of his birth, the 
 29 th of February, may be laid the beginning of 
 his misery ; and to the effect of asses' milk, 
 any bad trait which we may have to record in 
 his after-life.
 
 32 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 Although our young Cromwell ^ received no- 
 thing but monkey's allowance from his brothers, 
 still he was not without his friend ; he had a 
 most powerful ally in the person of the dirty, 
 slovenly, slip-shod slave, whom his mother 
 retained in her establishment, to perform the 
 united duties of cook and housekeeper; Mrs. 
 Sly-bacon, as she was facetiously called, her real 
 name being Cunning-ham, had taken a great 
 fancy to our hero, and stoutly declared that he 
 should be a soldier : she herself, early in life, 
 had suffered from the scarlet fever. In Ireland, 
 the army is everything ; if but a corporal and a 
 file of men be sent forward to bespeak billets, 
 or to escort a deserter, there is a cry of " the 
 army." 
 
 The second brother, Fairfax, was destined by 
 his father to become " food for powder." Crom- 
 well, by decree of the same domestic potentate, 
 to be a priest ; but, right or wrong, the privileged
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 33 
 
 and powerful Mrs. Sly-bacon declared that a 
 soldier he should be. 
 
 Mrs. Cunningham, as we have said, was a 
 very privileged character in the establishment 
 at Wild- Goose Lodge ; she therefore very often 
 took permission to give herself leave to go to 
 Ballinalack (memorable in the historic lore of 
 the county, as having given rise to a saying — 
 being built only on one side, " All on one side, 
 like Ballinalack"). There were fairs occasionally 
 held there, and Mrs. Cunningham never missed 
 attending them, and generally returned with some 
 little present for her young favourite. 
 
 One of these fairings, in all probability, was 
 not without its influence on the after-career of 
 the sucking hero. She purchased him a 
 quantity of gilt gingerbread, in the shape of 
 horse and foot soldiers. The young commander 
 at once commenced an onslaught, demolished a 
 whole company of infantry, and then attacked 
 the cavalry with such astonishing avidity, that 
 
 c 3
 
 34 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 Mrs. Sly-bacon threw up her hands high in 
 air, and expressed it as her opinion, that he 
 would be a regular fire-eater and no mistake. 
 
 This destruction of the gingerbread army 
 from Ballinalack, was not, however, the only 
 " peg" upon which Mrs. Cunningham " hung 
 her hopes," of one day seeing her young favourite 
 an officer. There was another circumstance, of 
 greater import. It will be recollected that the 
 first dress into which the boy was inducted, was 
 made of one piece, and fastened on by one large 
 button at the back of the neck ; but, as the frog, 
 in its earliest stage, is only a tadpole, by degrees 
 throwing out small fins, which in time become 
 legs, so this dress of the young Cromwell was 
 in time superseded, by something a stage fur- 
 ther on the road to manly garments ; little 
 fin-like sleeves were given, by way of covering 
 to his arms ; and the huge button at the back 
 of his neck gave way to nine very smart sugar- 
 loaf ones down the front.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 35 
 
 Mrs. Cunningham taught him to " tell off" 
 his buttons, from the top to the bottom, after 
 the following fashion : — 
 
 1 . Soldier. 
 
 2. Sailor. 
 
 3. Tinker. 
 
 4. Tailor. 
 
 5 . Gentleman. 
 
 6. Apothecary. 
 
 7. Ploughboy. 
 
 8. Thief. 
 
 9. Soldier!!! 
 
 He soon learned his lesson. He began with 
 a soldier, and he wound up by being one : this 
 was conclusive ; a soldier he must be. 
 
 As soon as Cromwell's ideas had begun suf- 
 ficiently to shoot, his mornings, in conjunction 
 with those of his elder brothers, were devoted 
 to the care of a hedge tutor, who was accom-
 
 36 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 plisbed enough to teach them reading, writing 
 and arithmetic, called in their country " cypher- 
 ing." In the first, he made but little progress ; 
 in the second, he arrived at delineating what are 
 termed " pot-hooks and hangers," and, as Mrs. 
 Sly-bacon facetiously remarked, had he dipped 
 a turkey's foot into the ink, and attempted to 
 write with that, he could not have disfigured 
 more paper than he did with these. 
 
 There is an inherent desire in most boys to 
 gamble. " Pitch and toss," " chuck farthing," 
 or some such accomplishment, is generally fami- 
 liar to the rising generation. Irish boys have 
 not always the money, but they have an ingenious 
 substitute for it, by betting with their buttons. 
 " I'll hould you a button," is a phrase familiar 
 to the ears of most travellers, who, if they took 
 a closer inspection, would find many boys quite 
 buttonless ; others with the whole of their gar- 
 ments depending upon one, whilst some are to 
 be seen so covered with their winnings, that
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 37 
 
 little else than a mass of buttons presents itself 
 to the eyes of the astonished beholder. 
 
 We are sorry to be obliged to relate that 
 Cromwell was addicted to this vice, and was 
 generally successful; he had, however, tried 
 Dame Fortune very hard, and, from having won, 
 at one time, all the buttons belonging to his 
 class, he returned to Wild-Goose Lodge button- 
 less, his coat and trousers fastened together by a 
 tenpenny nail. Mrs. Sly-bacon chid her favourite 
 for indulging in so ruinous a propensity, and, 
 although there were no buttons left to tell his 
 fortune with, she contrived to keep alive his 
 military ardour, by sundry presents of very 
 soldier-like boxes of toys. 
 
 The second boy, as we have already stated 
 was destined. for a soldier ; the eldest had grown 
 up into a regular " Buckeen," and early showed 
 his inclination for breaking young horses, and 
 shooting snipe, at that time looked upon as the 
 greatest possible accomplishments.
 
 38 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 About a mile and a half from the- village of 
 Ballinalack, and in the midst of a very wet bog, 
 is Cappagh Lake, at that day, (as it still con- 
 tinues to be) the very best lake for water-fowl- 
 shooting in Westmeath, or, in all probability, 
 in Ireland. Numbers of every description of 
 wild fowl, from the gorgeous and majestic 
 hooper, or wild swan, to the beautiful and 
 excellent little tufted duck, find their way to 
 this favoured piece of water, to lave themselves 
 after their nightly muddy search of food in the 
 flooded marshes along the course of the Inny : 
 here the fowlers, concealed in shades, await 
 at break of day the flocks of geese, ducks, 
 widgeon, and other wild fowl, as they whirl 
 down out of the air, and, after a half turn round 
 the water, come within range of one or other of 
 these masked batteries. As fast as the guns can 
 be fired and loaded, and for nearly one hour, the 
 firing is incessant, and " the bag," proportionate 
 to the skill of the respective marksmen ; for
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 39 
 
 duck-shooting, like many other accomplishments, 
 requires great practise, a quick ear, and a very 
 quick sight. We have known sixty pairs of water- 
 fowl bagged at one of these morning battues. 
 
 Fortunately for our hero, and for Mrs. Cun- 
 ningham's ambition, the elder Doolan, when 
 trying to find his way to the edge of Lough 
 Cappagh, in the depth of winter, was caught in 
 a snow-storm, missed the accustomed track to 
 the Lake, and fell into a deep bog-hole. His body 
 was not found until six weeks after, when some 
 persons who had repaired thither for the pur- 
 pose of cutting turf discovered the remains of 
 the unfortunate youth; and such is the pro- 
 perty of bog-water, that the body remained just 
 as it must have lit in the hole, with the head 
 downwards and the legs extended upwards, 
 like the letter Y. 
 
 After this accident, the idea of the second 
 boy's entering the army was abandoned: he 
 became " The Buckeen," succeeding to his lost
 
 40 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 brother's hunter and the single-barrelled " Queen 
 Anne." 
 
 By the powerful intervention of Mrs. Sly- 
 bacon, the point was at last conceded that 
 Cromwell should become "food for powder." 
 His godfather, and uncle by his mother's side, 
 Brevet Lieutenant-colonel Scabbart, persuaded 
 his sister that it was absolutely necessary — 
 a sine qua non, that the young hero should have 
 a military education previously to his entering 
 the army, and recommended the Royal Military 
 College at Sandhurst as the institution alone 
 fitted to form him for the profession. 
 
 His father, not having been in the army, it 
 was necessary to pay £150 a-year for his 
 military education: however, there was this 
 advantage, that there was the less likelihood of 
 his being turned away for misconduct or 
 stupidity, a lot which in those days often befel, 
 (if it do not still befall,) the orphans or sons of old 
 officers, (who pay only a trifling sum, in con-
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 41 
 
 sideration of their long services), should they 
 give the slightest possible loop-hole for it. 
 
 All being arranged, Cromwell was con- 
 signed to the care of Colonel Scabbart, one of the 
 few remaining of the old liver-wing days of the 
 army, when it was considered as much as a 
 subaltern's quiet was worth to help himself to 
 the liver-wing of a fowl, or to any other 
 delicacy, without having previously ascertained 
 that it was not the wish of the field-officer to 
 have it. 
 
 Old Scabbart was a disappointed man, not 
 having risen in the service, as he fancied, 
 according to his deserts. He inhabited a sitting- 
 room and bed-room, on the second floor, in one 
 of those military lodging-houses in St. Alban's 
 Place, and was invariably to be seen, in winter, 
 seated in a particular corner by the fire-place at 
 the Jungle Club, at a quarter to six, on the 
 look-out for roasted turkey, or the first slice 
 of the joint " ready at six." Like all disap-
 
 42 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 pointed men, Colonel Scabbart maintained that 
 " the service was going to the devil ;" wrote in 
 the United Service Journal, and was deeply 
 engaged in a paper war with a host of scribblers, 
 who sign themselves as c Tuft,' ' Helmet,' 
 ' Shako/ ' Ramrod,' &c. &c. Poor old fellows ! 
 peace be to their ashes, say we. 
 
 Colonel Scabbart went so far as to publish, on 
 his own account, a pamphlet, entitled " Stand 
 Easy," wherein he fully explained the absurdity 
 of the present system of drill ; particularly that 
 of the men being obliged to join their hands 
 together simultaneously, with a clap like thunder, 
 on receiving the word to " stand at ease." He 
 also set forth the injury done to the firelocks by 
 obliging the men to make them all ring on the 
 pavement, as they let them fall at the word to 
 " order arms." 
 
 The outline of this pamphlet he had pre- 
 pared, originally, when doing duty with his regi- 
 ment as a captain ; and although it was evident
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 43 
 
 to all that it was for the benefit of the service 
 that these " childish" methods, as he called 
 them, of exhibiting the smartness of the men, 
 should be discontinued, we are sorry to be 
 obliged to say, that he did not in this instance 
 act disinterestedly. He did it for the sole pur- 
 pose of trying to save the greater portion of the 
 contingent allowance which is granted to every 
 officer commanding a troop or company : as 
 a matter of course, the less wear and tear there 
 is of the arms, the more of the allowance will 
 find its way into the pocket of the officer. 
 
 The Colonel, although a disappointed man, 
 was not without many good qualities, and 
 amongst them we may enumerate that of ex- 
 treme good nature. As a proof of this, we 
 may instance his foregoing his usual custom 
 of occupying the corner, at the Jungle, on 
 the day that Cromwell was expected to 
 appear in the metropolis. He not only went 
 so far as to give up his usual dinner at six
 
 44 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 o'clock ; but, on conning over the bill of fare 
 for the day, he sacrificed that which he seldom 
 got — the thing of all others he liked best — a 
 roast loin of veal ; although, by seating himself 
 early, he would have ensured the first " shy" at 
 the kidney — his weakest point !
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 45 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Yet see how all around 'em wait 
 
 The ministers of human fate, 
 And black misfortune's baleful train ; 
 Ah, shew them where in ambush stand 
 To seize their prey, the murderous band ! 
 Ah, tell them, they are men ! 
 
 GRAY. 
 
 We must now attend the boy to the Royal 
 Military College at Sandhurst, whither Colonel 
 Scabbart conveyed him the following day, to 
 undergo his examination for admittance. From 
 the few questions he had put to him, the 
 good-natured old man felt strong doubts as 
 to his nephew's success.
 
 46 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 Next morning, the youthful candidate made 
 his appearance for examination before " the 
 Board." 
 
 Down the centre of a long room ran 
 a table covered with green cloth, and that 
 again was covered with sheets of paper, 
 pens, ink, slates, and slate pencils. At the 
 upper end sate the Lieutenant-Governor of 
 the College, a spare, hard-featured, feather- 
 bed veteran, not inaptly compared, in personal 
 appearance, to the late General Jackson, of 
 Transatlantic celebrity, known in America by 
 the soubriquet of " Old Hickory." The Lieu- 
 tenant-Governor was supported by his Ad- 
 jutant. Numerous professors were inspecting 
 the different tasks set to the boys, who were 
 placed at intervals down either side. 
 
 Cromwell was first put into the hands of 
 a Professor of Classics — Barber Hancock, who 
 opened the book at the first Eclogue of Virgil. 
 Alas ! our hero, although he contrived to get
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 4? 
 
 under the shade of the far-famed, wide-spread- 
 ing Beech-tree, could not extricate himself 
 from its sylvan shadow. 
 
 He was then set some equations in algebra, 
 by Jock Lowry : 
 
 1. A post is one-third in the mud, one- 
 fourth in the water, and ten feet above the 
 water. — Required, the length of the post ? 
 
 At this he fairly stuck : and answered, * No- 
 thing !" 
 
 Jock then gave him : 
 
 2. A man and his wife could drink a 
 barrel of beer in fifteen days ; but, after drinking 
 together six days, the woman alone drank the 
 remainder in thirty days. In what time could 
 either have drank the whole barrel ? 
 
 In this question, and after having spoiled 
 some six or eight sheets of paper in the 
 attempt, our hero came to the conclusion that ; 
 The man could drink it in fifty days ; the 
 woman in twenty-one days, three-sevenths. Fan- 
 cying that the boy had merely " put the cart
 
 48 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 before the horse," with a bad joke about the 
 lady's having a more "beery" propensity than 
 her husband, he gave Cromwell a slate, and 
 a third and last chance ; 
 
 3. A fish was caught, whose tail weighed 
 nine pounds ; his head weighed as much as his 
 tail and half of his body, and his body weighed 
 as much as his head and tail together. — What 
 was the weight of the fish ? 
 
 Without troubling the reader, or puzzling 
 him with Cromwell's blunders, 
 
 Supposing that 
 
 2 x be the number of pounds four of the 
 
 fins weighed, 
 Then 9 + 2 = the weight of the tail. 
 
 Of this our hero could make neither " head 
 nor tail," and contrived to make the w 7 hole fish 
 weigh but eight pounds. 
 
 Jock Lowry, who was at all times dread- 
 fully absent, and was generally to be seen 
 sucking a piece of slate-pencil, took the cal- 
 culations of the young Doolan up to the
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 49 
 
 Lieutenant-Governor, for the purpose of shewing 
 him how utterly ignorant he was of the com- 
 monest rules of algebra. But, in presenting 
 the slate to that august fac- simile of old 
 Hickory, he delivered it wrong side upwards, 
 where, instead of the complicated history 
 of the fish, was represented an excellent 
 likeness, but in strong caricature, of the Lieu- 
 tenant-Governor himself, the work of the young 
 Pickle. 
 
 The Professor retired; the Adjutant turned 
 over some papers, and was heard to say : — " But 
 he will pay a hundred and fifty pounds a-year." 
 
 Cromwell Doolan, when he joined his ma- 
 ternal uncle, did so as a gentleman cadet 
 of the Royal Military College of Sandhurst. 
 He found the worthy old gentleman busily 
 employed inspecting one of the bayonets be- 
 longing to the cadets. He was ruminating 
 on the destruction of those weapons by the 
 rounding off of the points, and upon the carbines, 
 
 VOL. I. D
 
 50 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 made originally for the American war ; and was 
 so lost in the subject that for a long time 
 he did not perceive that Cromwell stood before 
 him, a cadet. 
 
 On the day he entered the Royal Military 
 College, Cromwell had served out to him, a red 
 coat, with blue cuffs and collars, edged with gold 
 lace ; a pair of blue cloth trousers, and a cap, for 
 every -day wear, with a large brass ' C,' and 
 No. 30/ under it; the letter denoting the 
 company to which he was appointed, and the 
 figures his number in that company. On Sun- 
 days the gentlemen cadets strutted about in a 
 white cross-belt, and in a shako surmounted by 
 a long red and white feather. 
 
 Cromwell was put into a room with four 
 others. Each room contained five iron bed- 
 steads, the clothes belonging to which were 
 regularly folded every morning, barrack fashion, 
 by the servants of the establishment. Each 
 cadet had also a small cupboard, having, by way
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 51 
 
 of a door, a sort of wire fence, through which 
 the sergeants could discover anything contra- 
 band, such as spirits, tobacco, or any money 
 over one pound. These safes were, in College 
 patois, denominated ' bird-cages.' 
 
 Cromwell was the last joined, in consequence 
 of which he was the John, or Boots, of the 
 room, and was constantly launched, i. e. turned 
 out of bed upon the floor, by having the former 
 pulled over him. All this he took very good- 
 humouredly; young as he was, he had sense 
 enough to know that " every dog has his day," 
 and he wisely determined to await his own. 
 He soon became a favourite, and made great 
 progress in everything but his studies : he 
 learned to imbibe brandy-and-water, and to 
 smoke cigars ; not perhaps that he liked them, 
 but they were forbidden, for which reason every 
 cadet who could, thought himself in duty bound 
 to smoke. There is something inherent in our 
 dispositions, ever since the days of our mother 
 
 D 2
 
 52 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 Eve, impelling us to taste forbidden fruit ; and, 
 in the case of our hero, if we may be forgiven 
 for the vileness of the pun, this tendency was 
 displayed in a desire to taste forbidden weeds. 
 
 Around the College were circumscribed 
 bounds, beyond which, if caught by the ser- 
 geants, the cadets were reported and punished. 
 The sergeants were old soldiers, and kept a 
 sharp look-out: all spirits seized by them 
 became their perquisite, and this was a suffi- 
 cient stimulant to them to do their duty in 
 that respect. These sergeants generally took 
 up a position in the thick fir-plantations which 
 surrounded the College, and commanded the 
 different paths which led to the villages or 
 public-houses; and they often succeeded in 
 intercepting the cadets on their return from 
 their foraging expeditions. 
 
 One sergeant, in particular, named Crooks, 
 who lived at the Bagshot entrance to the 
 College grounds, and who was nick-named
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 53 
 
 Porter in consequence, was a tall, lathy fellow, 
 not so old as the generality of the other 
 sergeants, a very devil to run, exceedingly 
 cunning, and consequently, much dreaded. Few 
 there were who succeeded in reaching "The 
 Jolly Farmer," a public-house on the road to 
 Bagshot ; or, if they had the luck to do so, 
 returned undiscovered by him; not many had 
 the temerity to attempt a chivey, as it was 
 called, to the Jolly Farmer. 
 
 To our hero, anything out of the common 
 way was a delight : he set Porter Crooks at 
 defiance, and generally succeeded in out- 
 manoeuvring him. Cromwell had for his 
 chum a cadet named Philip Augustus Filagree. 
 It happened, one day, that a particular friend 
 of Filagree's was going to Portsmouth, 
 to join a regiment, and stopped at Black- 
 water, for the purpose of giving his friend a 
 dinner, desiring him to bring his friend. 
 Accordingly, these two managed to get to
 
 54 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 Blackwater ; where, after a good dinner, then- 
 host made them a present of a dozen bottles 
 of pale brandy. These they decanted into six- 
 and-thirty soda-water bottles, for the conve- 
 nience of transport : and, after much stratagem, 
 they succeeded in carefully depositing the whole 
 six-and- thirty, one after another, in a sandy 
 overgrown cart-track in one of the Scotch 
 fir-plantations within bounds ; intending to carry 
 them off as they were required. They could 
 not help laughing at their work when finished, 
 for their cellar extended a long way down the 
 riding. 
 
 To make all sure, they avoided the planta- 
 tion for several days ; at length it was agreed 
 that the first inroad should be made into their 
 cache. Just as they had extracted a couple 
 of bottles — all they intended to take, Cromwell 
 felt a strong arm laid upon him j like an eel 
 upon ice, he slipped from the Porter, for he 
 it was, and bolted, " Derby pace." Filagree
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 55 
 
 did the same, in an opposite direction, and was 
 singled out by the sergeant, who gave chase. 
 In all probability Filagree would have escaped, 
 had not his cap, " C. 24" fallen off ; which the 
 Porter stopped to seize. This was enough for 
 his purpose, so Filagree stopped too. 
 
 Our hero got back in time to go to study ; 
 but, five minutes before the time for release, 
 he was sent for into the waiting-room : and 
 in five more he was on his way to the black 
 hole — whither his friend had preceded him, for 
 eight-and-forty hours. Porter Crooks had dis- 
 covered him. Short as was the glimpse he 
 had, it was sufficient for the lynx-eyed dog to 
 remark the deficiency of the lower part of his 
 left ear. 
 
 Attached to the establishment were Professors 
 of classics, arithmetic, mathematics, and forti- 
 fication ; of French, German, history and 
 military drawing ; the latter of two kinds, 
 called " pen-work" and " brush-work," the
 
 56 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 last, admirable; the former the most absurd 
 task ever imposed on any one, unless he was 
 intended to be brought up to copper-plate 
 engraving, in which case he could not have 
 had a better education. Nothing is so detri- 
 mental to the draughtsman, or to freedom of 
 hand, as this absurd method of wasting time. 
 Even the very Indian ink took ten minutes 
 out of every hour to rub ; nor was it 
 supposed fit to use, i. e. black enough, until 
 it rubbed white — that is, until it showed white 
 streaks along the slab. 
 
 The cadet's breakfast consisted of bread and 
 milk ; and for dinner, being ten in each mess, 
 they had roast and boiled meat, alternate days ; 
 likewise, alternately, rice, and plum pudding. 
 The latter was called " stick-jaw,' ' and con- 
 tained enormous masses of suet, which, when 
 hot, obtained, from their transparency, the name 
 of " Bagshot diamonds." One of the College 
 punishments was " close arrest for one day,
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 57 
 
 and no pudding." The delinquents under this 
 sentence were obliged to march out of the 
 dining-halls at the particular moment the 
 " stick-jaw" made its appearance ; a punish- 
 ment, we should say, rather infra dig for 
 gentlemen cadets, and only worthy of Do-the- 
 boys Hall. 
 
 Cromwell remained for four half years 
 at Sandhurst, and his chance of obtaining a 
 commission in the army, by study, was quite 
 as remote as on the day he entered the esta- 
 blishment. Not but that he could have suc- 
 ceeded, if he had chosen ; he was perfectly com- 
 petent to do so had he felt inclined ; but he 
 was idle; anything that amused him he pre- 
 ferred to study. In drawing, for which he had 
 a fancy, he far eclipsed any of the other 
 cadets. His plans, both in military drawing 
 and fortification, were as highly finished as 
 copper-plate. It was agreed by the autho- 
 rities that he should not again return to 
 
 d 3
 
 58 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 College, and that the present should be his 
 last half year. The money was lodged for 
 his commission, which he expected about the 
 time he would be leaving the College. 
 
 It was not likely that such a spirit as 
 Cromwell's could fly the establishment without 
 doing something remarkable, and the Fates 
 decreed accordingly. He was bound to do 
 something notorious, and came to the resolution 
 that, as he detested old Hickory, the very best 
 thing he could do would be to get up a regular, 
 good rebellion. In such fertile brains as 
 Cromwell's, the whole plan was quickly 
 digested. 
 
 At ten o'clock at night, when all the lights 
 were put out, and all was quiet, C. 15, Blazer, 
 19,Fountaine, and 46, Waterman, were to steal 
 to Cromwell's room, to receive orders, which 
 they, in their turn, were to communicate to 
 the heads of the other companies ; and such 
 depend ance did all hands place in his clever-
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 59 
 
 ness and skill, that he had only to point out 
 to each leader his part in the transaction, and 
 it was sure to be carried out to the best of their 
 ability. 
 
 At eleven o'clock the ringleaders were to 
 proceed to our hero's room. He had prepared 
 his kettle full of " Bishop," with the intention 
 of giving his guests what in College patois is 
 called "a tent," which we shall describe by 
 and by. The fire, a little before nine o'clock, 
 was carefully raked out, and the kettle placed, 
 in the most studiedly careless manner, just 
 within the influence of the cinders, in order 
 to keep its contents hot as long as pos- 
 sible. 
 
 At nine o'clock it was customary for the 
 sergeant of the company to go round the 
 rooms, to see the lights, both fire and candles, 
 out. 
 
 On coming to Cromwell's room, the Sergeant 
 found all the cadets in bed, the fire carefully
 
 60 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 raked out, and all apparently asleep. Cromwell, 
 however, had overdone it, and the sergeant at 
 once had his suspicions. The boy, who was 
 with his face partly hid under the clothes, was 
 disagreeably surprised by hearing — hiss ! — 
 hiss ! — phizz ! — phizz ! — &c, and, on looking 
 up, discovered Sergeant Blaney pouring the whole 
 contents of the kettle on to the embers, as if it 
 were only water. 
 
 A stifled groan escaped him at the loss of 
 his Bishop, and the sergeant left the room. 
 Blaney was a good fellow, and liked Cromwell, 
 so he poured out the contents of the kettle, 
 through pure good nature, to prevent his 
 getting into trouble. 
 
 About eleven o'clock the door was opened, 
 and all three — Blazer, Fountaine, and Waterman, 
 stole softly into the room, and found all hands 
 busy in the manufacture of a " tent." The doors 
 were then locked, and the seams carefully closed 
 with towels, the windows undergoing the same
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 61 
 
 process, and four or five blankets were fastened 
 into the corners. The tent was then constructed, 
 in the middle of the room, and was formed 
 by heaping all the remaining blankets over the 
 table, in such a manner that the light which 
 was to be struck underneath should not be 
 visible to the patroles. 
 
 In due time, Filagree, our hero, and the three 
 friends, were carefully enclosed in the tent by 
 the three ' Johns' of the room, who had to 
 keep a look-out ; instead of which they fell 
 asleep, and continued so until the striking of 
 the tent; when, for their pains in keeping 
 watch so well, they were all three ' launched. ' 
 
 The Bishop was a great loss, but half a bottle 
 of shrub, and cold water, were better than nothing; 
 and, with the aid of some clay pipes and shag 
 tobacco, the great business of the meeting was 
 effectually arranged. The programme was as 
 follows. Two of the companies, A and B, were 
 to be divided into three divisions, under the
 
 62 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 command of the three ringleaders already men- 
 tioned, and that day week, at three o'clock, each 
 was to be at the post assigned to him. The 
 first division, under Blazer, were to extend 
 themselves in a wide circle round the college, 
 at the distance of about a mile, and to provide 
 themselves with tinder-boxes and bundles of 
 brimstone matches, (lucifers were not at that 
 time thought of,) and to set fire to the heath 
 and fir-plantations in thirty or forty different 
 places. 
 
 The third division, under Waterman, were to 
 seize upon the college fire-engine ; and to drag it 
 to the front of the college, each cadet being pro- 
 vided with a bag full of large stones. 
 
 Our hero appointed Filagree as his aid-de- 
 camp ; took command, in person, of the C 
 Company, which he intended as a reserve, to 
 act against any of the professors or sergeants 
 who might not mess in college, and to perform 
 some private acts of revenge on those who
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 63 
 
 had reported him : these he determined should 
 not escape punishment in the general mdlee. 
 Such were the leading features of the prepara- 
 tions. The ringleaders swore to do their duty. 
 The parole agreed upon was, " Old Hickory ;" 
 the counter-sign, " Fire and water ;" but 
 
 we have prated 
 Just now enough, but by and by we'll prattle 
 Like Roland's horn in Roncesvalles' battle. 
 
 As the day broke on the 21st of August, 
 Cromwell looked forth from the window of his 
 room. All was enveloped in a thick fog — the 
 heath, plantations, and lakes. Young as our 
 hero was, he was sufficiently weather-wise to 
 know that it was only the avant courier to an 
 exceedingly hot day. Gradually, a slight breeze 
 began to dispel the fog; by six o'clock the 
 dense mass had completely rolled away, and by 
 seven the sun shone out fiercely, and heath, 
 lakes, and plantations, were dancing in the sun,
 
 64 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 glazed over in a swimmy, oily, hazy, mirage. 
 There had been no rain for ten days, and, from 
 the heat, all was like tinder. A slight breeze 
 set from the south-east, and it was with no 
 little satisfaction Cromwell calculated that the 
 long white ling, and heath itself, would burn 
 like tinder. 
 
 The cadets, at the request of Cromwell, had, 
 one and all, subscribed a week's pay, and 
 deposited the sum in the hands of a committee, 
 who purchased axes, several coils of strong rope, 
 a hundred and fifty bundles of brimstone 
 matches, some rockets and crackers, a large iron 
 pot, a quantity of pitch, a bushel of corks, false 
 whiskers and moustaches, a couple of pounds of 
 Lundyfoot's Irish snuff, and a small barrel of 
 gunpowder. 
 
 What remained of the money, which did not 
 exceed £5, was expended in the purchase of a 
 circular life-buoy. 
 
 By a quarter before three o'clock, there was
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 65 
 
 not a cadet in the college save Cromwell and 
 Filagree ; they were all on their way to their 
 respective posts. Every cadet was provided 
 with a cork, which he had carefully burned 
 black the night before, and, by three o'clock, the 
 greater part had blackened their faces and taken 
 the numbers off their caps. The first division, 
 under Blazer, provided with tinder-boxes and 
 matches, prepared with brimstone, began to 
 extend themselves from the head of the upper 
 lake, right and left, until they had encompassed 
 the whole of the heath and plantations, for 
 three miles, in a half circle round the college, 
 extending from north to south, where they 
 remained, awaiting the signal from the building. 
 The second division, under Fountaine, which 
 was not near so strong as that commanded by 
 Blazer, were provided with half-a-dozen axes, 
 and had lain down, awaiting the signal, con- 
 cealed in the plantations, close to the penistock 
 which damned up the higher lake.
 
 66 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 The other division, under Waterman, were 
 all ready, with a master key, to unlock the store 
 in which were kept the fire-engines, and had 
 filled their pockets and the breasts of their 
 coats with stones. 
 
 Our hero and Filagree had been in the habit 
 of paying visits occasionally to the sergeant- 
 major's daughters, who were good-looking girls. 
 They lived in the basement story of the college, 
 as also did the band, servants, and most of 
 the sergeants. Filagree and Cromwell, but 
 particularly the former, fancied themselves 
 dreadfully in love with these young ladies, and, 
 by dint of hard labour, had converted one of 
 the dormitory keys into a skeleton one, with 
 which they could open the principal doors of 
 the basement story, and without which they 
 never could have enjoyed their nocturnal 
 tdtes-a-tete with their loves. By a little more 
 filing, Cromwell contrived to make his key so 
 perfect, that it not only turned in every one
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 67 
 
 of the doors, but he found he could lock them 
 with it. He himself intended to perform this, 
 the most dangerous of all the manoeuvres — 
 namely, to lock in the band, sergeants, and 
 servants, when engaged in "the great business 
 of life." 
 
 By three o'clock, then, our hero had so dis- 
 guised himself, that his aide-de-camp, at the 
 first glance, could not recognise him. Crom- 
 well informed him that he had succeeded in 
 locking all the doors below, unheard, and that 
 there was no time to be lost in his running up 
 to the leads, over the portico, and sending up 
 the rocket, the signal agreed upon for all hands 
 to begin. 
 
 Cromwell took a phosphorus-box, and 
 one full of Irish snuff, and proceeded to the 
 Lieutenant-Governor's office : he quietly opened 
 the well-known green baize door, and, before 
 old Hickory could well adjust his spectacles 
 upon his prominent nasal organ, our hero stood
 
 68 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 confronting his august person. With his left 
 hand he let fly a quantity of snuff directly at 
 old Hickory's eyes, and, in a twinkling, had 
 ignited a large bundle of crackers, which he 
 threw down upon the table, making his exit in 
 the shindy. 
 
 Scarcely had he got clear of the room, when 
 he heard, crack ! crack ! crack ! — then a 
 tremendous explosion; the whole packet had 
 evidently taken fire, and gone off. Whizz, 
 whizz ! next greeted his ears, as Filagree, true to 
 time, sent the signal-rocket high into the air. 
 
 In five minutes, the Governor's summer- 
 house was blown, with a tremendous explosion, 
 into ten thousand pieces ; wreaths of white 
 smoke, succeeded by flashes of fire, were seen 
 enveloping the woods in all directions ; and the 
 penistock of the upper lake was cut across, and 
 its waters were pouring upon those of the lower 
 one. 
 
 The firing of the rockets had alarmed bands-
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 69 
 
 men, servants and sergeants, at mess in the 
 basement; to their astonishment, they found 
 themselves locked in. They then attempted 
 to make their exit by the windows in front, 
 but the party provided with stones gave them 
 so warm a reception, and kept up such a 
 shower upon all who shewed at the area 
 windows, that they soon desisted. The doors, 
 which opened inwards, besides being locked, 
 had been firmly fastened by the iron rods, 
 which Cromwell had passed across the door- 
 posts and hooked on to the handles. 
 
 A tremendous shout, which reverberated 
 through the woods, proclaimed the success of 
 the party sent to intercept the professors ; half 
 a dozen writhing victims were seen debouching 
 from their houses, and the whole of the C. 
 company rushed, en masse, upon them. Mean- 
 while, the party charged to ignite the wood 
 and heath, had done their duty, and were all 
 on their way towards the common centre. Here
 
 70 CROMWELL DOOLA.N ; OR, 
 
 they found the greater part of their comrades, 
 in the act of pinioning the unlucky professors, 
 and tying them dos-a-dos together. 
 
 Crapeaud, Schwine, and Snuftuch, who were 
 the most obnoxious, were reserved for different 
 fates. The legs of the first were tied together, 
 and his arms, extended at right angles with 
 his body, were firmly lashed to a pole placed across 
 his back ; he was then inducted into the circular 
 life-buoy (his arms, and the pole, prevented 
 his going through it,) and launched forth into 
 the lake. 
 
 A pot of pitch was ready, boiling hot : 
 Schwine's and Snuftuch's beards were then well 
 stuck together ; their arms being first firmly 
 tied behind. As soon as the pitch had cooled, 
 two of the smallest boys, provided with enor- 
 mous canisters of Lundyfoot's snuff, were 
 appointed to administer handfuls to each. 
 Filagree had reported to his commanding 
 officer that the inhabitants of the basement
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 71 
 
 story could not force themselves out by way 
 of the area ; that half-a-dozen cadets, with 
 stones, were sufficient to keep them from a 
 further attempt, and that the fire-engine, which 
 originally had been intended by Cromwell to 
 act against them, might now be brought to 
 bear upon the professors. 
 
 Poor devils ! with a tremendous shout, a 
 hundred cadets harnessed themselves to the 
 engine, rattled it down to the water's edge, 
 and, in five minutes more, by their united 
 efforts, an uninterrupted stream of water was 
 directed upon their victims ; Filagree turning 
 the hose from one to the other, until they 
 became regularly deluged. Meanwhile, Schwine 
 and Snuftuch were passing anything but an 
 agreeable time: fastened together by their 
 beards, each supply of snuif made them sneeze 
 violently into each other's faces ; the jerk caused 
 by the effort of sneezing made each draw
 
 72 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 back his face, but, being fastened tight by 
 their beards, it caused great agony. Every 
 fresh handful then, administered by these 
 urchins, was followed by a terrific sneeze, 
 and the contortions displayed by the un- 
 fortunate professors were hailed with shouts 
 from the bystanders. 
 
 Suddenly, there was a murmur from towards 
 the college : another moment, and a strong 
 force of the college servants, sergeants, and 
 bandsmen, were seen to debouche from the 
 left wing of the building, and the dragoons, 
 under the riding-master, appeared on the flank. 
 There was a rush : a panic seized the cadets : 
 it was sauve qui pent. 
 
 Crapeaud was left suspended in the life- 
 buoy, floating in the lake; the others, tied 
 together and drenched like drowned rats ; 
 while the boys who had charge of the Irish 
 snuff gave the coup de grace before they fled,
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 73 
 
 by throwing the contents of the canister into 
 the features of the unfortunate Schwine and 
 Snuftuch, who were left almost suffocated, 
 sneezing volley after volley into each other's 
 faces. 
 
 vol. I. e
 
 74 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 He has plenty to say to the women, 
 
 And more than they ought to believe, 
 Tho' a few pretty names I could mention, 
 
 Have reason to know he'll deceive : 
 He don't even hint about marriage, 
 
 'Tis not of course part of his plan, 
 What a pity it is pretty women 
 
 Will encourage a charming man. 
 
 THE CHARMING YOUNG MAN. 
 
 The interior economy of an officer's quarters, so 
 far as the Ordnance department is concerned, con- 
 sists of — four walls, generally but very indiffer-
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 75 
 
 ently white-washed ; two windows, looking 
 into the barrack-yard, two to the rear, the 
 windows being invariably placed opposite to 
 each other, so that the occupant enjoys the full 
 benefit of a thorough draft. One or two closets 
 adjoin — (when in the plural number, they 
 may be considered as excessive luxuries)'; the 
 one makes a sleeping-apartment, the other serves 
 as a sort of pantry, for the servant to brush 
 clothes, to hold his officer's breakfast-things, 
 pipe-clay, blacking, and the heap of tarpauling 
 coverings which protect the beds, bedding, &c, 
 on the line of march ; all and each of which 
 have the possessor's name upon them in large 
 white letters. From the said closet there exudes, 
 for several months after a youngster joins, a 
 peculiar " niif," a mixture of odours, between 
 new leather and bass-mat. 
 
 In the largest, or sitting-room, is a grate, 
 with rusty fire-irons, and a fender ; an exceed- 
 ingly groggy table, containing a very diminutive 
 
 e 2
 
 76 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 drawer; and a couple of chairs, with wooden 
 bottoms — all marked with the broad arrow, 
 complete the ordnance furniture ; if we except a 
 small board, hung upon a nail at the back 
 of the door, whereon is inscribed a catalogue 
 or inventory of the aforesaid furniture, under 
 which, and prefaced by an "N.B." it is ex- 
 pressly stated that, " If this board be lost or 
 defaced, it will be charged one shilling. 
 
 As to the comfort of a barrack-room, that 
 entirely depends upon the taste of the occupant. 
 The one into which we wish to introduce the 
 reader, and which was situated in the centre of 
 a building in Mullingar Barracks, was furnished 
 with remarkable neatness. A small-sized Turkey 
 carpet — in fact, a large Turkey rug, but of a 
 square form, covered the centre of the room ; 
 iound which, to hide the boards, ran a piece of 
 blotting-paper-coloured drugget ; upon the ord- 
 nance table was placed a large circular wooden 
 board, w T hich folded in half when it w T as required
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 77 
 
 to be packed up, (a wrinkle we strongly recom- 
 mend to all young gentlemen about to join) ; 
 over this was stretched a handsome Scotch 
 shawl, of the old Gordon pattern — a delicate 
 attention on the part of a fair female ; thus, a 
 capital round table was formed. A neat chintz 
 pattern covered a mattress upon a soldier's iron 
 bedstead, and did duty remarkably well as a sofa. 
 A Dover chair, the travelling case of which had 
 legs screwed into it, and flaps to pull out at the 
 sides, made, in quarters, a second table, and, like 
 the circular one in the centre of the room, was 
 covered with a Scotch shawl, of a scarlet and 
 black pattern; another cadeau, we must 
 confess. 
 
 A portable book- case, containing drawers at 
 the bottom, to hold bills, shut in half, for trans- 
 portation, and on its shelves were placed — 
 
 Hawker's Advice to Young Sportsmen. 
 
 Byron's works, complete, (Galignani's edi- 
 tion.)
 
 78 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 About a dozen odd volumes of Paul de Kock. 
 
 Moore's Melodies, (diamond edition), bound 
 in green and gold. 
 
 The Language of Flowers. The Sentiment 
 of Flowers. 
 
 Sundry books on drill ; and about a dozen 
 and a half of Essays on Riflemen, and Hints to 
 Young Officers — the sum-total of the informa- 
 tion contained in which, was made valueless by the 
 old adage, that " practice alone makes perfect." 
 
 Upon the walls were hung a few French 
 prints — Esmeralda giving water to Quasimodo, 
 &c. 
 
 On the circular table, and on the above- 
 mentioned old Gordon, stood a very smart green 
 morocco Bramah inkstand, the centre tray of 
 which was filled with those glass seals which 
 are to be purchased for about a shilling each, 
 and find much favour with the young and 
 sentimental, from their mottoes and devices, 
 such as—
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 79 
 
 A group of pansies ; motto, " Pensez d, moi." 
 
 An owl and a tea-pot, and "sometimes converse take, 
 
 and sometimes tea.'* 
 
 A crocodile, with, "77 ne pleure que pour de'vorer," 
 
 &c. &c. &c. 
 
 Upon the small Turkey rug, and stretched 
 before the fire, lay an Isle of Skye dog, his eyes 
 being scarcely discernable amidst the dark iron- 
 grey-coloured hair, which covered his head and 
 body. The heat of the fire caused him to pant, 
 and his extraordinarily white teeth came out in 
 strong contrast to the dusky hue of his coat, 
 folly exemplifying the saying, "all hair and 
 teeth, like a rat-catcher's dog." His name 
 was Fuzbos, which had merged into " Furze- 
 bush ;" he stood upon his hind legs when he 
 was desired ; suffered himself to be lifted up 
 and suspended by his tail, carried his master's 
 cane in his mouth, and was invaluable to him 
 whenever his " small talk" came to an end, or 
 conversation flagged.
 
 80 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 The possessor of all this luxury was Ensign 
 Philip Augustus Filagree, of his Majesty's 
 , no other than our Sandhurst acquaint- 
 ance. 
 
 He had been about six months in the service, 
 and his character had developed itself into that 
 of a professed lady-killer, in the fullest sense of 
 the word. He was the idol of all ladies in 
 garrison towns, and of the governesses of every 
 surrounding family. He never passed any 
 tolerably good-looking woman without recom- 
 mending his personal appearance, by flanking 
 his boots, passing his fingers through his hair, 
 or giving his hat an extra hitch on one side ; and, 
 when all these means failed, he often effected his 
 introduction by calling Fuzbos to his assistance, 
 exclaiming, while looking full at the fair object 
 of his admiration — " Charming little dog, Fuzz!" 
 — who, it is needless to add, hearing himself 
 thus addressed, immediately stood on his hind
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 81 
 
 legs, and it became impossible for the " object" 
 to avoid a smile. 
 
 Whether it was owing to his having passed 
 his vacations in France, with a maiden sister 
 of his father's, or whether, during his hobble- 
 dehoyism, he had been too often enticed under 
 the misletoe-bush, certain it is that Filagree was 
 a perfect master of the art of " petits soins" 
 Though he really retained all the spirit of an 
 English lad, his father, disgusted with his love 
 of dancing and tea-parties, invariably designated 
 him as " the Muffin-Worrier," a name which, 
 it is needless to say, was not lost to him in 
 his regiment, only dwindling into that of 
 " the Muffin." 
 
 Philip Augustus Filagree was the eldest son 
 of a wealthy squire, in one of the midland 
 counties. He was of a race now almost 
 extinct : 
 
 The good Old English Gentleman 
 Of the olden time. 
 
 E 3
 
 82 - CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 He possessed manors well stocked with 
 game, he loved fox-hunting, and port wine; 
 kept up the old method of Christmas keeping ; 
 sate long after dinner, had a horror of French 
 innovations, and predicted the downfall of 
 England the moment Englishmen ceased to 
 pursue the chace, began to grow beards, or 
 to wear their trousers in plaits about their 
 hips. 
 
 As to personal appearance, Filagree would 
 have been decidedly good-looking, if he had 
 not, unfortunately, been much marked with 
 the small-pox. He had a good figure, an ex- 
 ceedingly luxuriant crop of light hair, and 
 his height may be ascertained from the 
 facetious answer which he himself playfully 
 made to a vulgar old lady who bored him by 
 asking, 
 
 " How long, Sir, are you in the army ?" and 
 received for answer, 
 
 " Five feet eleven, Ma'am."
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 83 
 
 The Muffin-worrier had just finished a 
 billet-doux ; had folded it into a three-cornered 
 or cocked hat shape, and was in the act 
 of closing it with a seal whereon was cut 
 a cupid blubbering in a garden, amongst a 
 row of flower-pots, and encircled by the 
 French motto : ' Voire absence est la 
 cause, 1 when his door opened, Furze- 
 bush barked, and our legitimate hero stood 
 before him. He had been gazetted to the 
 
 , two months before, and had come to 
 
 join. 
 
 Cromwell had, from infancy, been a remark- 
 ably handsome boy. On the 29th of February 
 of the year before, he had arrived at his fourth 
 birth-day, and was consequently in his seven- 
 teenth year. Though still but a stripling, he 
 was well knit, active, and graceful; and the 
 following may satisfy any one who may wish to 
 inquire on other points. 
 
 A young lady, who was very anxious about
 
 84 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 the intended husband of her friend, inquired 
 " what sort of person" he was ? 
 
 " Is it Darby Hart, Miss, and me not to 
 know him ? Why, sure, I have known 
 him ever since he was born, and that's 
 twenty years last Candlemas, glory be to 
 God — more power to him ; he has an illigant 
 place, thirty-nine dairy cows, and the sorra a 
 man in the county is better to do than 
 
 Darby." 
 
 " Oh, no !" replied the young lady, " that's 
 not what I mean at all: what sort of looking 
 man is he ? Is he handsome ?" 
 
 " Och ! is that what you mane ? Och then, 
 the sorra a handsomer in all Ireland ; sure, the 
 Apollo could'nt hold a candle to him, Miss. 
 He's just six feet two, and every bit of him 
 in proportion !" This definition satisfied the fair 
 inquirer. The words might have applied to 
 Cromwell, excepting that he was but five feet ten. 
 
 The two friends were delighted to meet, and
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 85 
 
 a long gossip over old times was only checked 
 by Filagree's reminding Doolan that he. must 
 report himself to his commanding officer; for 
 which purpose he handed him over to the 
 Adjutant-Lieutenant Pace-stick, and went off 
 to deliver with his own hands his three- 
 corned billet-doux. 
 
 The field-officer's quarters were larger than 
 those occupied by the junior ranks. Little else 
 than the Ordnance furniture embellished the 
 somewhat uncomfortable-looking room occupied 
 by the Major, whom we shall call Bassoon : 
 the bare walls were relieved by two portraits 
 of the occupant only ; one, in chalks, repre- 
 sented the gallant Major at the age of seven- 
 teen, when he had but just entered the army, 
 in tight regimentals, as turned out by a dandy 
 tailor in Clifford Street, every part of his dress 
 fitting like a glove; from which it might be 
 inferred that he, in his day, had been as danger- 
 ous a fellow as Filagree.
 
 86 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 The other was a wretched daub in oils, 
 which apparently had not been long finished, 
 and was the production of some country artist 
 during his present residence. It was a three- 
 quarter length, (cabinet size), and it might be 
 inferred, from the way in which the undress 
 uniform hung upon the portly person of the 
 Major, that he no longer employed the dandy in 
 Clifford Street, but patronized the master tailor 
 of the regiment, and did not care a button 
 for the consequences. The artist, whether 
 designedly or not, had thrown a profusion of 
 colour into the Major's countenance ; the effects 
 of which were more glaring from his being 
 painted in an undress coat. In the back- 
 ground, piles of guns were introduced, that 
 the landscape might be in strict military keep- 
 ing ; but, unluckily, the painter's conception 
 was far beyond his powers of execution, and 
 the piles of cannon appeared like ranges of 
 empty bottles. Had it not been for the
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 87 
 
 distinctness with which the number of the 
 regiment shone forth from the breast-plate, the 
 beholders might have supposed that the gallant 
 Major belonged to the Marines. 
 
 Bassoon was still very particular about his 
 boots, and his hat was always well brushed. 
 He maintained, that if you had the extremi- 
 ties of the person well got up, the interme- 
 diate parts did not signify. He was really a 
 good man ; the soldiers' best friend, ever ready 
 to promote their welfare. Always studying 
 their comfort, he was, in a manner, looked up 
 to as the father of the regiment. Those who 
 were conversant with his earlier life, knew that 
 a noble heart beat under an exterior tinged 
 perhaps with a few trifling absurdities; and 
 there were some who could tell how the old 
 soldier's love for the fair sex had been the 
 cause of great anguish of mind to himself, 
 while his generous nature had not shrunk
 
 88 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 from the sacrifice of his own happiness for the 
 sake of that of another. 
 
 It was during the winter's sojourn which 
 followed the last but one of our Peninsular 
 campaigns (in all of which the Major had 
 served), that he had obtained his company, and 
 had been appointed aide-de-camp to Colonel 
 Hervey. The Colonel had a daughter, who 
 had remained in Spain with her father during 
 the last three years of the war. She was 
 young, and lovely in no common degree ; but 
 tinged with a deep melancholy, from which it 
 was difficult to arouse her. The circumstance 
 of being aid-de-camp to her father, threw 
 Bassoon much into Ellen's society ; after no 
 very lengthened acquaintance, he was induced 
 to offer her his hand. She accepted him con- 
 ditionally only ; stating that her affections had 
 been deeply wounded — that she thought it right 
 to tell him this — but that if, after a given time,
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 89 
 
 he still wished to make her his wife, she was 
 willing to do her best to make him happy. 
 
 Time flew on; the Spanish campaign was 
 finished ; the battles of Orthes and Toulouse had 
 completely cleared Spain of her French invaders. 
 Colonel Hervey and his daughter returned to 
 England, accompanied by Captain Bassoon. 
 He had flattered himself that he had secured the 
 best affections of his betrothed. Ellen appeared 
 to appreciate his uncommon devotion more and 
 more, and he looked forward to the no distant 
 time when he might claim his prize. 
 
 Napoleon suddenly appeared in arms; and 
 the battle of Waterloo was the consequence. 
 Colonel Hervey was present, with his aid-de- 
 camp, and both escaped unhurt from that 
 sanguinary field, and joined Ellen at Brussels. 
 Miss Hervey, in common with other women, 
 went about to relieve the wounded, and met 
 amongst them the object of her former, of her 
 still deep preference. He had been taken
 
 90 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 prisoner by the French in Portugal ; had been 
 restored at the close of the Peninsular war — just 
 in time to take part in the glorious eighteenth 
 of June. 
 
 The effect on Ellen was instantaneous. She 
 forgot all that Bassoon had felt for her — all his 
 noble qualities and devoted affection. Her 
 former lover, wounded — dying — was not one 
 instant from her thoughts. She knew him 
 unworthy — knew that he had been more than 
 suspected of having committed excesses at the 
 storming of Badajos — yet, such is woman, let 
 her once love with devotion, and nothing can 
 eradicate the passion. 
 
 Bassoon soon discerned the truth. He might 
 have claimed her promise, which her father 
 most earnestly enforced : she even offered, worn 
 out by the conflict, to fulfil the hated engage- 
 ment. Bassoon loved her wildly ; but not for 
 one moment did he endeavour to influence her. 
 He spoke to the recovered and now deeply
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 91 
 
 repentant and devoted Lyndsay ; he interested 
 himself with some powerful friends to get him 
 a good appointment ; conquered his own 
 feelings sufficiently to give him his betrothed ; 
 then embarked for America, and tried to 
 forget, in the excitement of active service, his 
 intense misery. On his return to England, 
 after an absence of nine years, Ellen's grave 
 alone remained. Lyndsay did not long remain 
 changed ; dissipated, hard, cold, and heartless, 
 after a very few months Ellen found out her 
 mistake, and was laid by the side of her father, 
 in her native place 
 
 Bassoon never recovered the blow. He found 
 much solace in a pursuit just about to be 
 mentioned. He liked his glass of port wine, 
 and was a great favourite amongst the youngsters. 
 He retained a chivalrous feeling towards women, 
 free from any disappointed sourness ; he still felt 
 invariably interested in a beautiful face and form, 
 and still more so did he suspect the woman of
 
 92 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 a preference for a soldier, to whatever rank she 
 belonged. Many were the officers' widows he 
 had protected, and many the wives to whom he 
 had given tidings of a wounded and disabled 
 husband. His devotion to his profession was 
 intense ; nor was there any drawback to his 
 admirable understanding of it, but his long and 
 uncontrollable fits of absence. He had, like 
 every one else, his " weak point ;" and, to come 
 to that point, it was music. For nearly five- 
 and-twenty years he had been strumming upon 
 the violincello, and, during the whole of that long 
 period of practise, had made little or no progress. 
 He had a slight squint in one eye, which, 
 together with his continual strumming, was the 
 source of much joking amongst the young wags 
 of the regiment. One declared that he had a 
 good eye for looking down a French horn ; 
 another, that he supposed he must have an eye 
 for music, as no one could accuse him of having 
 any ear.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY 93 
 
 Poor Bassoon ! there was but one song he 
 had at his fingers' ends — that excessively pretty 
 one about a " Bunch of blue ribbons, and no 
 one coming to marry me," beginning — 
 
 Dear ! dear, what can the matter be ? 
 Johnny so long at the fair. 
 
 But the rock upon which he split was " The 
 Dashing White Sergeant." For days — ay, 
 often for nights, would he fag away at it, yet 
 he never could hit off the air. 
 
 At the moment that our hero reached the 
 quarters of the Adjutant, Mr. Pace-stick, and re- 
 quested to be taken by him to the commanding 
 officer's, and introduced to Major Bassoon, that 
 individual was sitting before his music-stand, 
 violincello in hand, his portly person enveloped 
 in a flannel dressing-gown, with which he had 
 replaced his undress frock coat after dis- 
 missing the parade. His music-book was open 
 at the eternal " Dashing White Sergeant." The
 
 94 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 Major had, for the first time in his life, hit off 
 the air to his satisfaction ; and, in consequence 
 was all excitement ; he worked himself into a 
 perfect frenzy, stamping the floor with his right 
 foot, his eyes rolling wildly. 
 
 A loud knock at the door, sufficient to awaken 
 one of the seven sleepers, had no sort of effect 
 on our fanatic; he continued stamping and 
 strumming ; 
 
 In varying cadence, soft or strong, 
 He swept the sounding cords along. 
 
 After repeated unanswered applications, Mr. 
 Pace-stick made his appearance before the Major, 
 announcing, at the same time, that Mr. Crom- 
 well Doolan had come to join. 
 
 The Major had so completely got into the 
 swing, that nothing less than a mutiny of " the 
 
 " could have affected his understanding ; 
 
 his face was perfectly scarlet, and his right foot 
 and right elbow stamped and twitched until the
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 
 
 95 
 
 old floor resounded again. Once more the 
 Adjutant repeated "Mr. Cromwell Doolan's 
 come to join ;" and, finding that no notice 
 was taken of either, closed the door, and left 
 our hero confronting the musician. 
 
 The last announcement, however, was not lost 
 upon the Major, for, without once taking his eyes 
 off his music-book, he set our hero to music, 
 thus : — 
 
 F=^ii=p±P 
 
 £ 
 
 i^zzp: 
 
 { Allegro. Cromwell Doolan's come to join, 
 
 ^§s 
 
 -^=P=P: 
 
 v— t— 
 
 **sF 
 
 
 H= 
 
 come to join, come to join; Cromwell Doolan's 
 
 B*EE=
 
 96 
 
 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 i=^ 
 
 % 
 
 -I— 
 
 M—^z 
 
 come to join, come to join, come to join. 
 
 ZLL.W 
 
 1 
 
 L±H\% 
 
 tt 
 
 ^ 
 
 Cromwell hesitated for a moment ; burst 
 into a loud fit of laughter, and bolted out of 
 the room.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 97 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 A rat! a rat ! dead for a ducat ; dead. 
 
 HAMLET. 
 
 Two days after our hero had been set to 
 music, he found himself set to the " goose 
 step," that most tiresome introduction to the 
 act of marching in slow time. This, however, 
 he soon accomplished. 
 
 It was a rule in the regiment that no officer 
 should be dismissed from drill until he was 
 perfect in all the duties of a private soldier 
 as well as able to manoeuvre the battalion. 
 
 VOL. I. F
 
 98 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 The system, which was an admirable one, 
 was based upon the principle that, unless an 
 officer was perfectly au fait himself in all 
 the minutiee of the drill, he could not possibly 
 correct the faults of others under his command; 
 a method long pursued by the regiments com- 
 posing the light division, and now universally 
 carried out through the army. 
 
 Cromwell soon became a great favourite 
 in the depot; all hands liked him; in short, 
 he was what is vulgarly called " the life and 
 soul of the mess," the promoter of all fun 
 amongst the young heads; whilst, at the same 
 time, he showed the greatest consideration and 
 attention to the comfort of the soldiers. The 
 old Major, too, became attached to him, and, 
 (now that he had accomplished the air), would 
 often set him to the tune of " The Dashing 
 White Sergeant." 
 
 About a month after Cromwell had been 
 dismissed drill, the corps received an addition,
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 99 
 
 in the person of a certain Ensign Cornelius 
 O 'Toole, a regular specimen of a raw and 
 unlicked cub. 
 
 The first day he joined, to the great amuse- 
 ment of all present, he drank off the water 
 in the cooler placed by his side to hold his 
 w 7 ine-glass ; he had evidently never seen one 
 before, and, before the cloth was removed, 
 he contrived to get exceedingly " screwed," 
 and began to entertain the mess with an account 
 of his father's four-in-hand, # blood bays, and 
 
 * It is only fair to acquaint the reader — lest he 
 may have formed his ideas of and " four-in-hands," 
 from that of " Sir Henry Peyton," and his well- 
 appointed " greys," that a person exists who informed 
 us that he perfectly and distinctly recollected seeing 
 one of these equipages yclept ''four-in-hands" dragging 
 the family coach to church, and the sensation it always 
 caused amongst the country people. But, oh ! shades 
 of the B. D. C. ! — they were all brood mares, har- 
 nessed together, with their foals running alongside, 
 
 F 2
 
 100 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 the family place, Blazeaway Castle, in Conne- 
 mara, in the far West. 
 
 He informed them that he had been sent 
 to Dublin by his father to learn manners, and 
 to be made a gentleman of; adding, with great 
 naivete, that it had perfectly succeeded. He 
 went on to say that, after the completion of 
 his education in Dublin, he became so refined 
 and gentlemanlike, that he was obliged to point 
 out to " the old buffer," as he dutifully called 
 his governor, on his return, some very flagrant 
 deficiencies in the conveniencies of Blazeaway 
 Castle, and to insist upon their being imme- 
 diately made good. 
 
 neighing and playing, and were ridden by two postillions, 
 who, having but one pair of top-boots between them, 
 by a judicious and admirable arrangement, contrived 
 to " take in" the admiring beholders, by wearing a boot 
 each on the outside, concealing their right and half- 
 naked legs between the portly carcasses of the four 
 " blood-bays !"
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 101 
 
 Corney O'Toole had taken his birthright 
 from his elder brother, Patrick, in a different 
 manner, but quite as effectually, as the patriarch 
 Jacob. The O'Toole, his father, was descended 
 from a very old Milesian family, and, like 
 the "O'Connor Don," or "the Knight of 
 Kerry," of the present day, considered himself 
 a chieftain, and, together with his feudal pos- 
 session of Blazeaway Castle, inherited the gout. 
 In early life, and indeed, all through life, he 
 had been passionately fond of shooting ; it was, 
 with the exception of consuming hogsheads 
 of claret, his only occupation; but, at length, 
 from the swollen state of his feet, he was 
 prevented from joining in the chase, and, 
 hence was left with no other pastime than his 
 claret. Rabbit- shooting had been his favourite 
 sport, but, being now debarred from it, he 
 was struck with the bright idea of encou- 
 raging the rats with which the castle swarmed, 
 a great part of it being in a ruinous state.
 
 102 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 They would prove an excellent substitute for 
 the rabbits, and be always at hand and ready 
 for sport. Accordingly, by turning out about 
 five dozen old rats, and giving them plenty 
 of feeding, in a very few months his preserve 
 had become so well stocked, that he thought 
 it time to begin shooting. He had his fowling- 
 pieces rased for the purpose, and took up 
 his position, seated on a pig-trough turned 
 bottom upwards, in a broad corridor, whither 
 he was wheeled in a kind of rudely-constructed 
 Bath chair. 
 
 The eldest son, Patrick O'Toole, although he 
 had never been sent up to Dublin to learn 
 manners, was so disgusted with his father's 
 proceedings, that he openly declared that, "if 
 ever Blazeaway Castle came to him, he would 
 destroy every rat !" Corney, on the contrary, if 
 he had not succeeded in the desired object of 
 his visit to Dublin, had profited sufficiently by 
 his sojourn there to learn duplicity and cunning
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 103 
 
 enough to accommodate himself to his father's 
 whims ; and accordingly, beat the rats out for him, 
 bolted them across the passage with terriers, 
 cheered him after every successful shot, loaded his 
 second gun, and swore that he was the best 
 shot in all Galway. The squealing of the 
 wounded rats, the shouts of Corney, and the 
 rapid discharge of the GToole's fowling-pieces, 
 made the dilapidated old passages of the house 
 ring again, and proclaimed to all within hearing 
 the success of the battues at Blazeaway Castle. 
 Corney OToole's aspect was not prepossess- 
 ing: he was snub-nosed, short, thick-set, and 
 clumsy. However well he might have done for 
 rat-hunting amongst the Blazers of Galway, it 
 very soon became evident he would not do 
 
 for « the ." He was voted a " Mug," 
 
 a slang word in vogue in the regiment — 
 originally, we believe, taken from some work 
 on the castes and tribes of India. The 
 " Mugs" were therein described as a remarkably
 
 1 04 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 fine race of men, who " wore swords." As the 
 wearing of a sword was Corney's only recom- 
 mendation, he obtained the soubriquet of " Mug 
 OToole." 
 
 To lead him a life of torment was considered 
 as quite fair play, and our hero, in particular, 
 played him every kind of trick. Among 
 them, one of the first was on the occasion of 
 his being put on extra, to learn his duty as 
 orderly officer for the day. Cromwell made him 
 draw his sword, and follow him in his inspec- 
 tion of the men's dinners ; and the " Mug" did 
 as he was bid, and marched in and out of all 
 the rooms where the men were at mess, in the 
 most dignified manner, amidst the suppressed 
 laughter of the soldiers. Soon after, Cromwell 
 persuaded Corney, just before he was dismissed 
 drill, that he ought, as a mark of respect to 
 the commanding officer, to act as his orderly for 
 one day. He was actually induced to dress 
 himself in private's clothing, borrowed from his
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 105 
 
 servant; to put on a cross-belt and bayonet, 
 and stand at the Major's door. He began 
 pacing up and down in front of Bassoon's 
 quarters, waiting for that august personage to 
 make his appearance, that he might report 
 himself. Cromwell allowed him to walk up 
 and down for nearly an hour, to the great 
 delight of a party of subs, who looked on from 
 the mess-room windows : they calculated upon 
 Bassoon's good nature in case of a discovery, 
 or they never would have dared to play such a 
 trick. Luckily, it happened that he did not 
 leave his room during the time, and Corney 
 only found out the joke by the shouts of laughter 
 which assailed him from the merry group, as 
 they came down, en masse, to confront him. 
 
 The "Mug" nightly imbibed more mess 
 port than was good for him, and the sort of life 
 he led may be easily imagined. He constantly 
 awoke of a morning, to find all his furniture 
 even to the bed he slept upon, in the barrack- 
 
 F 3
 
 106 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 yard. Cromwell often expected to be shot, 
 like one of the rats at Blazeaway Castle, but 
 his love of mischief was too great to allow him 
 to stop. On one occasion, whilst quartered at 
 Mullingar, all the regiment were in preparation 
 for a county ball, which was to come off that 
 evening at the head inn. At mess, Cromwell 
 sate next the " Mug," who evidently considered 
 that the ball would be a failure without his 
 presence ; and, in order that that presence 
 might be as perfect as possible, he meditated the 
 transmogrification of his hair — which generally 
 hung about his face like a pound of candles, 
 into Hyperion curls. He, therefore, in the 
 course of conversation, asked our hero " who 
 was the best barber in the town f" as he wanted 
 to have his hair curled. " On this hint," Crom- 
 well " spake," informing the inquirer that he 
 had seen Mr. Bergamo t, of Athlon e, a celebrated 
 artist, going about the barracks, and offered to 
 send him to OToole's quarters.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 107 
 
 Our hero retired somewhat earlier than 
 usual, dressed himself as a barber, and, in due 
 time, made his way to Corney's room ; sent up 
 an old card which he happened to have, of the 
 hairdresser's, knocked at the door, and was 
 admitted. 
 
 His announcement ran as follows : — 
 " A watchful eye on your precious heads.* 9 
 
 J. BERGAMOT, 
 
 (late of dubun), 
 HAIR DRESSER, 
 
 BASTION STREET, ATHLONE, 
 
 Respectfully informs the Officers of the Garrison and 
 the Gentlemen of Athlone and its Vicinity, that he 
 carries on the above business, and trusts, by attention, 
 to merit a continuance of that patronage which he has 
 met with for the last eight years ; and from his ex- 
 perience in the house of Mr. Lard, of Grafton Street, 
 Dublin, challenges any man in this town and vicinity to 
 Cut Hair equal to him. 
 
 N.B. — Gentlemen's Razors Set in the best manner. 
 
 CAN BE HEARD OF AT ANY OF THE HOTELS.
 
 108 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 His disguise was so perfect — apron, irons, 
 and all, that, though they had parted not three 
 quarters of an hour before, he did not in the 
 least see through it, and desired Cromwell to 
 cut his hair. 
 
 Our hero had served no sort of apprentice- 
 ship in hair-dressing, all he knew being that it 
 was effected by means of curling-irons, and that 
 they required to be heated for use : be accord- 
 ingly thrust a couple of pairs between the bars 
 of the grate, and, whilst they were heating, 
 opened a conversation, as all good and intelli- 
 gent barbers should ; touching upon every 
 topic, from the weather to the last piece of 
 scandal in the neighbourhood, at the same time 
 rubbing a double handful of bear's grease into 
 Corney's hair. 
 
 By the time he had got to the end of his 
 gossip, he had transferred all the bear's grease to 
 O'Toole's head. By this time he thought the 
 curling-irons would be sufficiently hot for use,
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 109 
 
 and so they were, being all but red hot; 
 if it had not been for the cord with which 
 the handles were bound, Cromwell could not 
 have held them in his hands. Luckily, the 
 port had done its usual office on the Mug, and 
 he had fallen, during the greasing process, into a 
 sort of half doze, which prevented his discover- 
 ing their heat. Our hero proceeded with his 
 work most carefully : had he not done so, or 
 had he allowed the irons to go too near the 
 bullet-shaped head of Corney, the excessive heat 
 must have burned the skin, and he would have 
 been forbidden to proceed : accordingly, he was 
 obliged to go to work very delicately. On the 
 first application of the irons to the hair, it 
 regularly frizzled again, under the combined 
 influences of heat and bear's grease ; and, for a 
 moment, Corney moved his head ; but the 
 fumes of the port were more powerful than the 
 heat of the irons : he soon relapsed into his 
 doze, and our hero contrived to frizzle up all the
 
 110 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 hair into little lumps, which resembled sausages 
 set on end much more than curls. 
 
 Cromwell, when he had finished his task, 
 surveyed his work with great content : his only 
 fear was lest his victim should attempt to brush 
 out any of the curls before he could effect his 
 escape, as he perceived that he had so singed all 
 the hair that nothing but the exceeding tightness 
 of the curl, or crepe, prevented it from falling 
 off. He therefore impressed upon Corney that 
 he must not attempt to use a comb or brush, or 
 to disturb his curls ; for that, before he had been 
 five minutes at the ball, the heat of the room 
 would cause them to subside into the most 
 perfect undulations. Corney promised obe- 
 dience, gave half-a- crown to the impostor, who 
 " pocketed the affront/' and left the room. 
 " The Mug," carrying his cap in hand, started 
 for the ball : his sash was girthed as tightly as 
 possible round his clumsy waist ; his epaulettes, 
 (things which always make a man look vulgar)
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. Ill 
 
 made him look doubly so ; the remains of the 
 port gave an absurd additional swagger to his 
 usual lob-lolloping gait, and he rolled into the 
 ball-room the very personification of Punch's 
 Military Snob. 
 
 O'Toole was not long in finding a partner : 
 officers are at a premium in Ireland. He led 
 out the fair object of his choice, and stood up to 
 dance a quadrille. He preserved his equilibrium 
 exceedingly well, and went ' glisseing, pirouette- 
 ing and chasse'-croise'mg, a good deal less peace- 
 fully than, but quite as correctly as, a dancing- 
 master. For the three first figures, he contrived 
 to steer himself admirablement bien, amidst the 
 labyrinth of dancers ; and his pique'd-looking, 
 frizzled head of hair, still stood. Whether he 
 had made great progress in his attentions to his 
 partner, or the excitement of the dance and 
 the heat of the room had caused the wine to get 
 further into his head, and thus given him 
 additional confidence, so it was that the O'Toole
 
 1 1 2 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 became more and more intimate with his 
 partner, and, when all joined hands in the last 
 figure, he approached his head so close to hers, 
 for the purpose of whispering " soft nonsense" 
 into her pretty ear, that it unluckily came in 
 contact with her flushed cheek. A scream ! 
 In an instant she was surrounded by half the 
 people in the room, — her lovely white shoulders 
 and bosom were covered with singed hair ! 
 She put her hand to her head, and became 
 pacified when she found her luxuriant curls all 
 right ; she next looked up at our Mug, who 
 appeared as if he had had one side of his 
 head shaved ; — the whole of the burnt, charred 
 and frizzled locks had chipped off. " Oh, 
 Captain ! your hair !" from the young lady, 
 and "the Mug" put up his hand to feel 
 for his curls. On the other side, the slightest 
 touch was enough : off came the rest, and 
 fell in a shower on the floor. Fuming with 
 rage, and with both his hands holding his
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 113 
 
 unlucky, negro-looking head, O'Toole bolted, 
 in search of the supposed author of his discom- 
 fiture. Cromwell had been unable to resist 
 boasting of his exploit, and, as Corney cleared 
 the door of the ball-room, he distinctly heard 
 loud shouts of laughter, followed by the words 
 which headed Mr. T. Bergamot's card — 
 
 A watchful eye on your precious heads. 
 
 It so happened that the real Mr. Bergamot 
 was actually in the hotel : a young officer of 
 heavy dragoons, Mr. Shabraque, had brought 
 him over with him from Athlone, where, as 
 his card set forth, he challenged any man in 
 the town or vicinity to cut hair equal to him. 
 At the very moment that our hero rushed dis- 
 tractedly out, to vent his rage on the innocent 
 barber, he met the head-waiter, who volunteered 
 to go in search. Bergamot, after having 
 arranged the cornet's head, had refreshed
 
 114 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 himself with sundry glasses of whisky punch, 
 from the effects of which, feeling rather sleepy, 
 and seeing the cornet's door invitingly open, 
 he thought it a good opportunity to take a little 
 horizontal refreshment ; and, stretching himself 
 on the dragoon's bed, was soon fast in the 
 " arms of Murphy." 
 
 "The Mug" not succeeding in his search, 
 and the head-waiter being called another way, 
 he turned back to the ball-room, to look for 
 further help, and, meeting our hero, who had 
 followed him out of the room, to see the end 
 of it, without the smallest suspicion, asked 
 his assistance. They began opening every door 
 in succession, and soon discovered the barber. 
 Cromwell, who did not care to be found out 
 as the author of the rape of the locks, pre- 
 vented the execution of the summary vengeance 
 about to be taken on the unconscious Bergamot, 
 and advised O'Toole to leave his punishment in
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 115 
 
 the hands of the cornet — and, to ensure it, they 
 inducted the sleeper into the helmet and undress 
 habiliments, (sword and all), of the absent 
 dragoon, and covered him up with the bed- 
 clothes.
 
 116 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 Quit, Captain! — Oh! my shoe. 
 
 MISS EDGEWORTH. 
 
 It is now time to go back to our friend 
 Filagree, whom we have somewhat neglected 
 during the introduction of " the Mug" into the 
 regiment. He had taken it into his head that, 
 during his sojourn in this land of lakes, it 
 was the correct thing to take to angling: he 
 ordered every publication he could think of on 
 the subject, from Izaak Walton downwards, and 
 was a precious god-send to Martin Kelly, having 
 bought up a large amount of rods, reels, and 
 shop-flies of every colour under the sun.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 117 
 
 One peculiarly bright day, when no real 
 angler would have dreamed of fishing, he started 
 for the green waters of Lough Owel, which he 
 whipped for many hours. Becoming, at last, 
 weary of the fruitless attempt, he stuck his rods 
 upright in the end of the boat, and rowed to 
 shore, where, picking out a soft mossy bank, 
 he threw himself upon his back, and lit a cigar. 
 
 He had not been long in this horizontal 
 position when he descried a female form, with 
 a book, meandering through the groves of 
 Clanhugh, shading her fiery red ringlets, and 
 somewhat freckled features, under a green 
 parasol ; her dress rather retrousse, for the 
 convenience of walking, and exposing a well- 
 turned ankle to the admiring gaze of Filagree. 
 One look was sufficient to set the inflammable 
 youth on fire. The young lady, on her part, 
 seemed also to have caught the infection, for 
 she passed several times in review order before 
 our Muffin, apparently intent upon her book:
 
 118 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 but he thought otherwise, and fancied that her 
 eyes were occasionally gently elevated above 
 her study, and directed towards himself. He 
 adjusted his hat well on one side, and, followed 
 by dog Furzebos, with his usual assurance deli- 
 berately proceeded to accost her. 
 
 This time, however, the intervention of the 
 
 charming little dog Fuzz was not required. 
 
 The book became the medium of breaking 
 
 the ice ; he began to inquire the nature of her 
 
 studies. 
 
 " Was it a novel ? — What was it ? — Was it 
 an Italian story ?" 
 
 The third time of asking had the desired 
 effect. Her eyes were not raised from the 
 ground, but a gentle 
 
 " Yes, Sir," was lisped from the pouting lips 
 of the wood-nymph. 
 
 The Muffin- worrier proceeded : 
 
 " May I venture to guess what is your 
 study ? Is it c Pensez a Moi V
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 119 
 
 " Yes, Sir," escaped from the lady's lips ; 
 her eyes being, apparently, fixed upon the grass- 
 hoppers which sported forth, disturbed, in rather 
 a coquettish manner, by her pretty foot. 
 
 This frank admission as to the nature of her 
 studies, so much excited Filagree's curiosity, 
 that he made a gentle attempt to take the 
 fair hand which contained the soi-disanl 
 Italian story. Whether he was too abrupt 
 in the endeavour, or the lady became alarmed 
 at the rapidity of his advances, we know not ; 
 but the book fell from her hand, and opened 
 at the title-page, which revealed the name of 
 its possessor : ' Euphemia O'Shaughnessy, her 
 book' ; and * Love and Marriage' its title ! 
 
 Miss Euphemia O'Shaughnessy looked some- 
 what ashamed at the discovery. ' Love and 
 Marriage' served Filagree's turn quite as well 
 as ' Pensez a Moi! In ten minutes Miss 
 O'Shaughnessy had merged into Euphemia, 
 and in ten more she was leaning on the
 
 1 20 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 Muffin-worrier's arm, and answering to the 
 name of " Phemy." 
 
 By this time a change had come over the 
 day ; dark clouds began to collect ; fat drops 
 of rain began to fall, and every boat but 
 Filagree's was pushed off, and the occupants had 
 begun to angle : the Muffin, however, had 
 already hooked his fish. 
 
 Sauntering along the beautiful beech groves 
 which fringe the shores of Lough Owel in 
 the demesnes of Clanhugh, and holding an 
 umbrella over the head of ' Phemy/ the 
 Muffin soon found himself confronting " the 
 Lodge." 
 
 Mamma, of course, was much obliged to 
 Captain Filagree, as she would insist on calling 
 him ; the weather threatened rain ; she politely 
 requested that he would remain for dinner. 
 The Muffin accepted the invitation, and Fuzbos 
 stood upon his hind legs, as if in acknowledg- 
 ment of the compliment.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 121 
 
 We are sorry to be obliged to show up the 
 vulgarity of the young lady, or the ill-breeding 
 of our Philanderer; but, at dinner, he pro- 
 secuted his addresses both above and below 
 board. For awhile, the young lady bore the 
 gentle pressure apparently without much objec- 
 tion, but, in the midst of a dead silence, 
 pirating the betise of Miss Edgeworth's heroine 
 — whether consciously or not is uncertain — she 
 electrified the company by exclaiming, in a rich 
 and refreshing brogue, 
 
 " Quit, Captain ! och ! my shoe !" 
 
 Utterly disgusted with this expose, the 
 Muffin lost his self-possession, and, muttering 
 something about a change in the weather, 
 and a fine fishing-evening, took leave. 
 
 Not long after the Pensez a Moi affair, the 
 depot of the regiment received the route for 
 Dublin, where they in due time arrived, and put 
 up for the night in the Royal Barracks. Cromwell 
 observed that the great clock over the archway 
 
 VOL. I. G
 
 122 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 forming the entrance into the inner square, was 
 taken down; for the purpose, no doubt, of being 
 cleaned. This clock was the oracle, from which 
 the drummers and buglers of the different corps 
 in the barracks, and the neighbouring popu- 
 lation, took the time. A black board filled up 
 the circular space which should have been occu- 
 pied by the clock ; the ladder had not been 
 removed, and remained reared against the 
 wall. 
 
 Cromwell got some white paint, mounted 
 the ladder at night, and succeeded in sketching 
 in a most admirable face, of sinister expression, 
 having one eye closed, and with a hand the 
 thumb of which was placed to the nose, the 
 fingers being stretched out in the manner of " the 
 waterman-fireman." Next morning, at sun- 
 rise, according to custom, the drummers and 
 buglers, headed by their respective drum- 
 majors, proceeded to the archway, in order 
 to beat or sound off the " reveillee :" on
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 123 
 
 looking up, there was the waterman-fireman; 
 and there were they. 
 
 We once more return to Filagree. Three 
 months had elapsed since the arrival of the 
 regiment in Dublin ; the Muffin-worrier missed 
 not a single tea-party. The hunting-season 
 was approaching, and as he made a point 
 of doing everything in its season, he bought 
 a couple of horses of Mr. Hunt — who is 
 celebrated for fair dealing. He ordered all 
 the paraphernalia necessary, not one part 
 of which he knew how to put on ; his whole 
 turn out was as cock-tail as it was possible 
 to be ; his breeches, instead of being made 
 to button at the knee, were fashioned like 
 pantaloons; and, in order to represent the 
 buttons used to fasten them below the 
 knee, he had a row sewed upon his leather 
 garments, extending half way down his leg. 
 His boots came but half way up his calves, 
 where they encountered the lowest button, and 
 
 G 2
 
 124 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 were fastened. His spurs he buckled tightly 
 round his insteps. The consequence to the 
 poor brute in such a case is dreadful ; for, 
 instead of the spurs serving as a "reminder" 
 to the animal, as they do when fastened loosely, 
 they cut like a knife ; and, as the Muffin was 
 anything but a good horseman, and had a 
 fashion of "rowing" with his legs, he was 
 continually goading his unfortunate beast. 
 
 One of his horses was called " Trepan," the 
 other rejoiced in the name of " Glass Bottle." 
 The first derived his appellation from the circum- 
 stance of his late possessor having ridden him 
 over a terrific five-barred gate, when out with 
 the Ward hounds one day, in the neighbourhood 
 of the Black Bull — one of the best meets, at 
 which were assembled all the hard riders from 
 Dublin. It was said there would be " wicked 
 riding" that day. A deer was enlarged, and 
 went straight for Howth ; for five miles it was a 
 regular race. The ' Lough of the Bay/ a wide ditch
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 1'25 
 
 in the Ashbourne country, was rushed at ; several 
 got over, but many got in, and the field became 
 select, the hounds still going racing pace. At 
 length they came to a tremendously high park 
 wall, perfectly unjumpable, with the above- 
 mentioned gate, studded with nails and iron 
 spikes at top. Some jumped off their horses, 
 and tried to lift the gate off its hinges ; others 
 got huge stones, to batter the lock to pieces, 
 but all to no purpose ; they could make no 
 impression upon the obstacle. At length, the 
 owner of " Trepan" jumped upon his back, 
 clapped both spurs into his flanks, and, hal- 
 looing out — " Here goes, boys ! touch or 
 Trepan !" cleared the gate, spikes and all. 
 The horse was sold soon after to Mr. Hunt, 
 — in consequence of his owner having broken 
 his head. 
 
 His other horse, " Glass Bottle/' was also a 
 celebrated jumper, or, as they say in Galway, 
 " an iUigint lep't horse. He was bought by 
 Hunt at Ballinasloe fair, where he discovered
 
 1 26 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 him ridden in a halter, by a boy. Mr. Hunt 
 inquired if he could jump ? 
 
 " Lep is it, Surr ? Thin the sorra a betther 
 lep't horse in all Gall-way." 
 
 " Then let us see you take him over that 
 wall," said Mr. Hunt, pointing to an old garden 
 wall, the lowest part of which was little less than 
 six feet, in parts studded with broken glass. 
 
 " Is it where the glass bottles is, ye'r honour ?" 
 and, before Hunt could reply, the solitary spur 
 fastened to the boy's bare left leg, was driven 
 into his side, and the animal flew over the 
 wall, glass bottles and all. 
 
 The Muffin- worrier found himself possessed 
 of these two celebrated " lep't horses ;" it was 
 next to impossible to throw them down, if 
 fairly ridden ; but Filagree was a wretched 
 horseman. He did not want nerve, and would 
 ride at anything ; but he had no idea of saving 
 a horse, or giving him fair play. He rode with 
 a loose rein, and so long as the animal could go, 
 he let him do so.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 127 
 
 One day, a celebrated deer, known as " the 
 Carton Doe," was turned out, at the sixth mile 
 stone on the Ashbourne road, and a large field 
 was collected. Away went Filagree, Glass 
 Bottle's head high in air; the snaffle rein, 
 which connected the bit with the rider's hands, 
 looming a tremendous distance, and the Muffin's 
 • legs working away for life and death, at the 
 horse's flanks. 
 
 The splendid animal carried him over hedge 
 and ditch, grass and fallow fields, to the very 
 tail of the hounds. Mr. Huggins's performance 
 at the Epping Hunt, as portrayed by the inimit- 
 able Hood, and that of our friend of Edmonton 
 celebrity, were " a joke" to him ; it was per- 
 fectly fearful to see the way the Muffin-worrier 
 and Glass Bottle took their fences — walls, 
 double ditches, and positive canals; whilst 
 Filagree, with his hands up to his chin, had no 
 power over his horse. 
 
 The Carton Doe kept up her reputation on
 
 128 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 that day ; and, for seven miles, straight forward 
 and without a check, Glass Bottle kept the lead. 
 There had been floods of rain the week before, 
 and the ground was unusually deep ; the doe, 
 also, had taken a line where there was more 
 {< plough" than is in general to be found in this 
 fine country. Goaded by the incessant appli- 
 cation of his rider's spurs, panting from the ' 
 violent exertions of floundering through the 
 deep fallow, and with his head high in air, 
 almost at a right angle to his body — Glass 
 Bottle came down upon the Lough of the Bay, 
 at a point where it was a perfect " yawner ;" 
 the widest part of this terrible dyke, rendered 
 doubly nasty by the quantity of water. It was 
 a " bumper ;" full to the very brim. 
 
 With all the wind pumped out of his body, 
 and taking off out of a ploughed field, the noble 
 animal made a tremendous effort to clear the 
 flood ; he regularly spread himself, as it were, 
 in the air ; but to no purpose. He fell, pitching
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 129 
 
 his rider, head over heels, on to the opposite 
 bank, where he lay, perfectly senseless, with his 
 feet towards the brook, and in the manner that 
 falls are represented, during the steeple-chase 
 season, in that weekly emporium of sketches, the 
 " Illustrated London News." 
 
 Our Muffin lay for some time on the broad 
 of his back ; one by one, as the field came up 
 and saw him extended on the opposite side, and 
 Glass Bottle floundering about in the water, 
 they turned their horses' heads up or down 
 stream, to search for a practicable place. 
 
 At length, a couple of labourers went to his 
 rescue, and, finding him apparently lifeless, set 
 to work to undress him, an operation which 
 astonished them not a little. First they pulled 
 off a pair of white buck-skin gloves, half way 
 over which were drawn muffitees of crimson 
 silk ; they next extracted a pair of green, cloud- 
 coloured agate buttons, with which the scarlet 
 coat was clasped across his breast — all the time, 
 
 G 3
 
 130 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 making sundry jokes as to his gaudy and super- 
 abundant clothing. They then withdrew a 
 magnificent pin, of gold and purple enamel, from 
 a blue satin neckcloth, upon which flowers and 
 flower-pots were embroidered in clusters. Hav- 
 ing unwound the roll of satin from his neck, and 
 opened his coat, they discovered a waistcoat 
 embroidered, in Berlin wool, upon canvas, a 
 cadeau from a lady ; this elicited several jokes, 
 amongst which was one which likened it to 
 " Terry Coffey's Carpet-bag." On opening the 
 carpet-bag, they came to a scarlet under- 
 waistcoat, of French cashmere, with sleeves: that 
 unbuttoned, and a most elaborately- embroidered 
 pair of sky-blue silk braces came to light, and 
 one of them remarked, that " he'd cut a mighty 
 illigant figure suspended from the drop at Kil- 
 mainham in thim same gallowses !" But what 
 surprised them most of all, was his shirt. It 
 was a cotton one, stamped all over with red 
 figures of ballet-dancers, in the act of making
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 131 
 
 wonderful pas deforce. The one who was at 
 his head, and saw the figures inverted, took them 
 for fuchsias ; but the other, who saw them in 
 their true Taglioni position, exclaimed — 
 
 " Och, by my shoul, Tim ! that bangs 
 Banagher ! As I'm a sinner, they are all 
 famales !" 
 
 Pat unbuttoned the shirt, when, to his 
 utter astonishment, he saw another pink Jersey, 
 or Guernsey, frock, of spun silk. This was 
 enough for them, and Tim exclaimed, 
 
 " Lave him there ; he's not a man at all at 
 all, shure ; he's a Pa-cock !"
 
 132 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 What opened next ? The door. 
 It opened with a most infernal creak, 
 Like that of hell ; " Lasciate ogni Speranza 
 Voi che entrate !" the hinge seemed to speak, 
 Dreadful as Dante's rhyme or as this stanza. 
 
 The door flew wide, not swiftly, but as fly 
 The sea-gulls, with a steady sober flight — 
 And then swung back ; not close, but stood awry, 
 Half letting in long shadow on the sight. 
 
 DON JUAN, CANTO 16. 
 
 To any one fond of yachting in all its 
 branches, from a row in one of Waterman's 
 gigs to a cruise in one of Symonds' line-of-
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 133 
 
 battle ships, there is no place more attractive 
 than Plymouth, to say nothing of its mild 
 climate, its pretty women, strawberries, and 
 clotted cream. 
 
 Thither the were ordered, from Dub- 
 lin. Cromwell loved the very smell of pitch 
 and tar ; to him the magnificent dock-yard — 
 the Hamoaze, full of men of war in ordinary, 
 were an endless source of amusement. Rowing 
 in his gig under one of these huge leviathans 
 of the deep, he would pause to gaze on her 
 lofty sides, bristling with cannon, while the 
 noble fellows who manned her looked out of 
 the ports, or lay carelessly along the guns. 
 
 The swell of the sea, which tosses a skiff as if 
 it would rock it to pieces, has no effect on 
 those enormous masses of wood, iron, and 
 cordage. There is nothing which ought to be 
 more flattering to the pride of an Englishman 
 than passing along the side of a hundred-and 
 twenty gun ship, contemplating the wooden
 
 134 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 walls of old England, and her jolly tars. Such 
 was ever its effect on our hero. The duty at 
 Plymouth and Devonport was rather severe ; 
 
 the " depot" of " the " were quartered 
 
 in George's Square Barracks, at Devonport, 
 and came in for their full share of guards 
 and picquets. Cromwell never objected to 
 find himself in the dock-yard ; there was always 
 much to interest and amuse, from the laying 
 down the lines of a first-rate, to the " stepping'' 
 of her masts, by means of the mammoth 
 " shears." The society of naval officers, whom 
 they met in good fellowship with their mess, 
 tended to cement the good-will of the tw T o 
 services. Shooting and fishing, in their season, 
 on the wilds of Dartmoor; a row up the 
 beautiful river, to Pentilly Castle; pic-nics, or 
 a cruise to the Eddystone, varied their exist- 
 ence, together with, as we have already said, 
 the addition of pretty women, strawberries, and 
 cream.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 135 
 
 One day, when marching a party through 
 Stonehouse, Filagree saw a pair of feet and 
 ankles getting into a carriage, one glance of 
 which was enough : he thought he had never 
 seen anything so perfect before. Though 
 entirely done for, he had just sufficient recol- 
 lection left to glance at the house, and the 
 door from which he had seen the feet and 
 ankles debouche — (as yet, he had not caught 
 sight of the face of the possessor of these 
 attractive terminations,) and, with " half an eye," 
 he perceived that she belonged to No. 9. 
 
 No sooner had the Muffin dismissed his men, 
 than he put on plain clothes, and started on a 
 voyage of discovery to Stony Street, in which was 
 situate the identical No. 9. A twopenny post- 
 man, hurrying along, distributing the contents of 
 his bag, was the first person he lit upon, and 
 gave him the desired information : — the house 
 belonged to Admiral Pennant, a retired admiral 
 of the red.
 
 136 CROMWELL doolan; or, 
 
 Filagree walked up and down the street 
 for nearly an hour and a half, first on one side, 
 then crossing over to the other, during which 
 time there was no re-appearance of the object of 
 his admiration. He was not, however, idle, nor 
 did he throw away his time, for he had made 
 several careful observations. No. 9, had win- 
 dows to the back as well as to the front ; 
 those to the back looked straight across the 
 water which divides Stonehouse from the for- 
 tifications which surround the Government 
 Parade of Devonport. The latter commands 
 Stonehouse. 
 
 In another quarter of an hour, the possessor 
 of the feet and ankles was discovered by our 
 Muffin, crossing at the head of the street, 
 having a little girl in charge. This time Fuzboz 
 was brought into requisition. He was more 
 ridiculous than ever ; stood upon his hind legs, 
 grinned, pirouetted, and ran after his tail, in the 
 most ludicrous manner. He soon attracted the
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 137 
 
 little girl's attention, and thus the introduction 
 was effected. Before they parted, a telegraphic 
 correspondence was duly arranged. 
 
 On his way back, Filagree bought himself a 
 couple of glass seals, with appropriate French 
 mottoes (have we said that the lady was a French 
 woman ?) — Cupid tearing a heart from a thorn- 
 bush ; " Nul plaisir sans peine ;" and a pin, 
 with " Je pique, mais f attache." He next 
 rewarded dog Fuzboz with half-a-dozen savoy 
 cakes, his favourite refection. 
 
 As the windows of the guard-room com- 
 manded a view of those to the rear of No. 9, 
 and thus enabled him to keep up the arranged 
 telegraphic correspondence with the new objet 
 avme\ Filagree invariably volunteered to take 
 the main guard. Mademoiselle Prunella Mel- 
 notte — for that was her name — was a governess, 
 attendant on Admiral Pennant's daughter. She 
 possessed the fascinating manner natural to her 
 country-women, and the Muffin, from making
 
 138 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 love, a la distance, upon the glacis of Devon- 
 port, soon came to the second approach, and 
 fired off numbers of billets-doux. Mademoiselle 
 Melnotte, in her turn, provided herself with 
 seals, which were as ingenious as his, and 
 Filagree never discovered that they were in 
 slang phraseology, and exceedingly snubby ; 
 such as, the devil wheeling Cupid in a bar- 
 row, " he diable emporte V amour :" Cupid 
 riding on a donkey " Tels sont mes su- 
 jets." But " the unkindest cut of all" was 
 an English one — a violin and D D — Fiddle-de- 
 dee ! 
 
 One day, when Filagree was on the main 
 guard, and in the act of sealing one of his 
 billets, Cromwell rushed into his guard- 
 room, with the information that an order 
 had just come from the Horse- Guards for his 
 embarkation in the course of ten days, to join 
 the head-quarters of the regiment, at Gibraltar, 
 and that, in all probability, the line-of-battle
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. ] 39 
 
 ship in which he was to go out would be ready 
 for sea in that time. This news was a death- 
 blow to Filagree's flirtation with the Melnotte : 
 a postscript was accordingly added to his 
 already lengthy billet, notifying his departure. 
 In half an hour, he received an answer, stating 
 that the Admiral, his daughters, and the lady her- 
 self, were all going on a visit in the neighbour- 
 hood, and that Filagree and Cromwell were both 
 to be asked to join the party, which invitation she 
 hoped he would make a point of accepting. Her 
 note was sealed with gold and brown wax, 
 stamped with a tombstone, and " Apres le tra- 
 vail il y a repos." Cromwell agreed to accept 
 the invitation, and Filagree danced about in 
 an ecstacy, whistling "When lovely woman 
 stoops to folly." 
 
 Fairy Hall was just the house for practical 
 jokes — for blindman's buff, and battledoor and 
 shuttlecock ; and this latter was an amusement
 
 140 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 in which Mademoiselle Melnotte particularly 
 delighted. She accordingly victimized the un- 
 fortunate Muffin for hours, commencing the 
 game by taking up her position on the top of 
 the first flight of stairs, leaving him at the 
 bottom. The unfortunate victim could not 
 keep his eyes from her feet and ankles, of which 
 he had a full view every time she started or 
 struck the shuttlecock : of course he invariably 
 missed hitting it, every time, and, what with 
 incessantly stooping to pick up the feathered 
 nuisance, and striking at Furzebush, who would 
 run and bark at it, he had anything but an 
 enviable time of it. 
 
 The party had now been three days at Fairy 
 Hall : Filagree had laid very close siege during 
 the time, and, apparently Mademoiselle Melnotte 
 was much flattered by his attentions ; at least, 
 she was clever enough to make him think so. 
 The next day, the party were to break up, and
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 141 
 
 but one more night remained ere their visit 
 would terminate. Philip Augustus, fancying he 
 had already made the necessary breach in the 
 heart of the lady, determined upon carrying the 
 fortress by storm. Cromwell had acted a friend's 
 part ; had made love to both the Miss Pennants, 
 and, together with Mr. Surplice, the young curate 
 of a neighbouring parish, had so completely 
 engrossed their attention, that they never once 
 thought of Mademoiselle Prunella's flirtation. 
 Filagree had extracted a promise from her that 
 she would listen to what he had to say, and 
 receive him in her room that night, after the 
 family had retired ; and that, for fear of mistakes, 
 she would only just close her door, and tie a bit 
 of blue ribbon to the handle. The doors of the 
 rooms opened into a long gallery, or corridor, 
 which also contained many more apartments 
 than those occupied by our party from Ply- 
 mouth. 
 
 It was about two o'clock in the morning,
 
 142 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR 
 
 when the Muffin, enveloped in his dressing- 
 gown, quietly opened his door, and listened 
 attentively. The moon shone bright and clear, 
 and cast into shadow the whole length of one 
 side of the corridor. He held his breath, and 
 listened for some minutes ; not a sound did he 
 hear, save the monotonous ticking of the great 
 clock on the landing. He allowed some ten or 
 fifteen minutes to elapse, and, hearing nothing, 
 he came to the conclusion that all in that part 
 of the house slept. He accordingly sallied forth on 
 a voyage of discovery, in search of the blue 
 ribbon. He was aware that the Melnotte's room 
 was one of two at the very end of the long 
 gallery ; which, he knew not, and w 7 as quite 
 dumfoundered on discovering that blue ribbons 
 were attached to both the doors, which were 
 vis-a-vis. 
 
 Which, then, was hers? — neither of the doors 
 were quite shu to. Who might be in the room 
 he should first attempt ? He hesitated, and again
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 143 
 
 listened for some time, when, hearing nothing, 
 and no further advanced in the way of making up 
 his mind which he would explore, he went back 
 to his room, took a half-crown, went to the 
 window, opened his curtains, and, by the light of 
 the moon, ' tossed up' the coin, a practice he had 
 invariably followed through life, whenever there 
 was any difficulty in arriving at a decision, until, 
 at last, it became a positive mania. 
 
 " Heads" for the right-hand door, " Tails" for 
 the left. " Tails" came up ; so he went to the 
 left-hand door, placed his hand upon the lock, 
 — once more hesitated, and went back to his 
 room. After waiting some time longer, hearing 
 the great clock strike the half hour, he became 
 desperate, and again tossed up. This time, it 
 was to be the best of three tosses, and "tails" 
 came up at the two first. This gave him fresh 
 confidence, and he sallied forth for the third 
 time. 
 
 Scarcely had he got half way down the cor-
 
 144 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 ridor, when his courage again began to fail him, 
 and he bethought himself that the Melnotte 
 was quite capable of leading him a regular wild 
 goose chase ; she had, that very day, won 
 half a dozen pairs of gloves from him, in the 
 most ridiculous manner. She had made him a 
 bet that he would go down stairs between 
 five and six in the morning. He lost, for 
 Mademoiselle Prunella had placed the figures 
 five and six, in pencil, on either side of his 
 door. 
 
 After this specimen then, of her powers, he 
 became somewhat suspicious, and was in the act 
 of returning to his room and giving the whole 
 thing up, when he was suddenly startled by 
 hearing the most awful groans, followed by a 
 succession of loud sobs. The noise proceeded 
 from the left-hand room: he made sure it 
 was the Melnotte's, and that this was her way 
 of attracting his attention. " Tails for ever !" 
 
 Cautiously opening the door, he saw a heap
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 145 
 
 of bed-clothes convulsed by the most violent 
 actions, whilst the moaning continued, and 
 evidently proceeded from some one therein 
 enwrapped. The beating of Filagree's heart 
 ceased ; curiosity quickly took possession of his 
 senses, and he placed himself at the foot of the 
 bed, to watch what the sheets in labour would 
 bring forth. 
 
 He had not been on sentry long, when the 
 bed-clothes were suddenly tossed up in a terrific 
 manner ; along and loud moan, and all was again 
 silence, whilst there gently arose from the mass, a 
 huge, white and well-starched night-cap, which 
 surmounted a remarkably rubicund and warming- 
 pan-like face. The light was not strong enough 
 for the Muffin to discover the features, but, 
 instead of hearing the mild French accents of 
 his innamorata, he was astonished by a shout of 
 " Murther ! murther ! fire. I'm kilt !" in the 
 richest Kerry accent. Without hesitating an 
 instant he fled the room, and regained his own. 
 vol. i. H
 
 146 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 The fire in his grate was not quite extin- 
 guished, and he managed to light his candle. 
 Sleep he could not ; that was out of the question; 
 so he drew the arm-chair towards the fire, rising 
 occasionally to open the door and listen. Not a 
 sound interfered with the eternal ticking of the 
 before-mentioned clock. It was now near four ; 
 and the lateness, or rather, the earliness of the 
 hour, at length made him desperate, and he again 
 sallied forth. He first paused to listen at the left- 
 hand door. All was still, excepting the loud 
 snoring of Judy Flannagan, the Irish housemaid, 
 who had been put there to air the bed for a visitor 
 expected the following day, and whom a dreadful 
 tooth-ache had caused to utter the moans which 
 had so astonished him. He turned the key upon 
 her, and thus secured her from being a spy 
 upon his proceedings. 
 
 The other door was now slightly ajar, and the 
 blue ribbon attached to the handle. It made
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 147 
 
 not the least noise as he gently pushed it open, 
 and there indeed sat his " objet," before the 
 fire, in the most de'gage position. Her long 
 black hair, combed out, fell over her shoulders 
 in beautiful confusion ; a white peignoir, that 
 prettiest of all protections, enwrapped her form, 
 and was of so convenient a length as not in the 
 least to hide her beautiful feet and ankles ; her 
 finely-rounded arm leaned upon a small table, 
 while her fairy fingers were placed across her fore- 
 head, to screen her eyes from the light of a 
 candle, nearly burned to the socket, and through 
 these taper fingers protruded her long, black and 
 silken eyelashes. The second volume of * Les 
 Liaisons dangereuses," lay at her feet. 
 
 At first, Filagree imagined that she slept, but, 
 on advancing to the middle of the room, he was 
 assured that it was not so. He was right, for 
 she instantly stood up, and motioned him to a 
 chair. The confirmed lady-killer quailed before 
 the commanding manner of Mademoiselle Mel- 
 
 H 2
 
 148 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 notte, now that she was in earnest ; he did as 
 he was bid, lost the use of his tongue completely, 
 and slunk into the chair pointed out to him. 
 Fain would he have had recourse to what our 
 transatlantic brethren call "soft sawder;" any- 
 thing to break the ice ; but no ; like Acres, he 
 felt the courage oozing out of his •fingers' ends, 
 and there he sate, with a steady, fixed, and 
 stupid gaze, staring at the lady. Mademoiselle 
 shook her robe-de-chambre, resumed her seat 
 in the most graceful manner, crossed her tiny 
 feet, and thus began : — " Ecoutez, Monsieur." 
 She proceeded to say that she really liked him ; 
 that he had amused her much ; she thanked him 
 in the prettiest manner possible for all the at- 
 tentions he had shown her ; and added, that he 
 really was " bien aimable." 
 
 Her manner, accompanied by these pretty 
 speeches, had restored some of Filagree's self- 
 confidence, and he got up, for the purpose of 
 prostrating himself before the bewitching being,
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 149 
 
 and declaring his passion. She rose once 
 more, and put her hand upon the bell, at the 
 same time requesting that she might not be 
 annoyed. 
 
 " No," she continued ; " I like you very 
 much ; I never saw any Englishman I admired 
 more ; but, excuse me, Sir, this can go no 
 further ; your nation behaved so ill to Napoleon !"
 
 1 50 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 And when the dews of evening fell, 
 In coolness o'er earth's sultry bed, 
 An image clothed in misty form 
 Hovered around with airy head ; 
 A glowing image, light and free, 
 With fairy footsteps came to me — 
 
 And it was thine ! 
 
 MBS. H. SANDBACH. 
 
 It is necessary that we should here make a 
 slight digression. 
 
 Colour-sergeant Higgins was the Pay-sergeant 
 of the company to which Cromwell belonged . The 
 Quarter-master sergeant of the regiment had died
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 151 
 
 at Gibraltar : Higgins succeeded to the vacancy, 
 and was ordered out with the detachment under 
 Filagree, to join the head-quarters: he had 
 been many years in the regiment, bore a most 
 unexceptionable character, had seen much ser- 
 vice in the Peninsula, where he had been 
 engaged in twelve or fourteen general actions, 
 and had been severely wounded at the san- 
 guinary assault of Badajoz. 
 
 Sergeant Higgins, about fourteen years pre- 
 viously, had married a widow, who brought 
 him a ready-made family, consisting of a boy 
 and girl. The former had enlisted in the 
 regiment ; and, through his good conduct, had 
 risen at this time to the rank of sergeant, and 
 was with the head-quarters. 
 
 Harney Crosbie, the girl, had grown up to be 
 a most lovely young creature: tall and com- 
 manding, her figure was faultless: her temper 
 and disposition the sweetest imaginable. She 
 was always dressed with the greatest neatness,
 
 152 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 although the material might be of the com- 
 monest description : her movements were na- 
 tural and exceedingly graceful, so much so that 
 no one could pass her without admiration. At 
 the same time, there was that in her manner 
 which instantly annihilated the least approach 
 to levity on the part of the beholder : Filagree, 
 the professed lady-killer, never dared to look 
 at her. Such was Harney Crosbie; lovely, 
 gentle and affectionate ; the admired of all 
 beholders, her fair fame perfectly spotless. 
 
 The family were poor, very poor ; having 
 little else to live upon but Sergeant Crosbie's 
 pay. His wife and Harney were good needle- 
 women, but they could not always obtain 
 employment. They could not take officers' 
 washing; that would be infra dig. for a 
 Colour-sergeant's wife ; for there is etiquette 
 in all societies. Nothing could exceed the 
 neatness of their little room, whenever they 
 could obtain that luxury ; but often, a green
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 153 
 
 baize curtain divided them from some twenty 
 or five-and-twenty men, in a large barrack- 
 room ; and, when it is taken into consideration 
 that soldiers will often drink more than is 
 good for them, it may be inferred that the 
 language made use of in consequence is any- 
 thing but what should be overheard by a 
 modest female. But Harney was beloved 
 by the men, we may almost say worshipped ; 
 she was the pride of the battalion, and not 
 one of them would willingly have hurt her 
 feelings or annoyed her in any way. 
 
 Perhaps, in the whole economy of the British 
 army, nothing wants reform more than the 
 condition of the non-commissioned officers in 
 barracks. Much has been said and written 
 of late on this subject, and a great change 
 has, no doubt, taken place ; but still there is 
 room for further improvement : the comforts 
 of the men cannot be studied too much, as 
 long as it is consistent with the service. We 
 
 H 3
 
 1 54 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 do not wish to lead the reader into diffuse history 
 of the interior economy of barrack discipline ; 
 we have, at the head of one of our chapters, 
 given an extract from the Quarterly Review, 
 which bears on the subject; but, should the 
 reader be a military man, and have the interest 
 of those under his command at heart — more 
 particularly should he have influence in any 
 department affecting the morale of the army, 
 we refer him to the admirable article from 
 which the above-mentioned extract is taken. 
 
 Sergeant Higgins, his wife, and Harney, had 
 a sincere friend in Major Bassoon. He had 
 long known Higgins, who had been Colour- 
 sergeant of his company before his last pro- 
 motion. Whenever it was in his power to 
 render his family any little service, he did not 
 forget to do so : and ever since he had been in 
 command of the depot, they had had a separate 
 room. 
 
 Harney had her own small bed in one corner:
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 155 
 
 She was indebted to the Major for the iron 
 bedstead, which he had obtained from the 
 barrack- master : round it she had her own 
 curtain of blue and white check, which walled 
 her off from the rest of the room ; and, when 
 retiring for the night or getting up in the 
 morning, it made her dressing-room. Her 
 toilet-table was the lid of a small chest, which 
 contained her " little all," covered with some 
 rough lace-work, her own manufacture. 
 
 The attractions of Harney had captivated 
 O 'Toole, who had come to the determination to 
 do his best to ruin her. His intention and pur- 
 pose were no secret to Cromwell, who, from 
 the first, resolved to protect the girl, not only 
 on principle, but from a sincere regard for 
 her and her family. 
 
 She was now, unfortunately for her, about 
 to lose the protection of the good Major, and 
 it was on this subject that Cromwell one day
 
 156 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 requested Filagree's attention. He told him 
 he had reason to suspect that O 'Toole would 
 make use of the opportunity afforded him 
 by going out with the same detachment to 
 Gibraltar, to persecute Harney. Colonel Flint, 
 who commanded the regiment, was in every way 
 the reverse of Bassoon, — cruel, overbearing, a 
 bully where he dared, but cringing to any 
 one with interest or in authority ; he was de- 
 tested by every officer in the regiment, and hated 
 by every man under his command. O 'Toole, 
 being related to him, was the very man of 
 all others to insinuate himself into the Colonel's 
 good, or rather, bad, graces. Cromwell feared 
 he would easily persuade Flint to persecute 
 the unfortunate Higgins by every sort of petty 
 annoyance, and, by thus intimidating the girl, 
 gain his purpose. 
 
 Filagree promised he would take care that 
 they had every comfort on board, and that,
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 157 
 
 as long as he was in command of the party, 
 O 'Toole should have no communication with 
 Harney, as far as he could prevent it. 
 
 The detachment for head- quarters was to 
 embark in four days' time, and all was bustle 
 and preparation on the part of those who 
 were under orders for Gibraltar. Cromwell 
 was unusually out of spirits : he who had 
 always been the promoter of all fun and 
 amusement at the mess — now left the table 
 directly the cloth was removed. He was 
 taunted by his brother officers with being 
 " spoony," and with having " lost his heart." 
 All this he suffered, and bore, without reply, 
 any jest that passed at his expense. The 
 truth was, and he now began to allow it to 
 himself, he secretly loved Harney Crosbie : nor 
 was it ordinary love ; he had hardly ever 
 spoken to her ; yet, somehow, she had gained 
 upon his feelings in an unaccountable manner, 
 and, in spite of some endeavours to the con-
 
 158 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 trary, he was becoming deeply attached to her. 
 It was only now that she was about to leave 
 England, that he discovered what a loss her 
 presence would be to him. More for the sake 
 of charity than because he actually wanted them, 
 he had lately ordered Mrs. Higgins to make 
 him a new set of window-curtains; her 
 daughter, (the mother being busily engaged 
 in preparing for their departure), for the 
 first time in her life, entered an officer's 
 quarters, having previously ascertained from 
 Cromwell's servant that his master was not 
 in his room, but had gone down the town. 
 
 On this assurance, she went into the apart- 
 ment, and, with the servant's assistance, began 
 to try the curtains to the windows. They 
 required some little alteration, however, and 
 the servant left her to alter the sewing of 
 the rings. Now, Cromwell, instead of having 
 gone down the town, according to his man's 
 report, had been in the mess-room, and, on
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 159 
 
 opening his barrack-room door with his latch- 
 key, he saw, to his astonishment, Harney 
 Crosbie, standing up on one of the win- 
 dow-seats, arranging the curtain, which she had 
 now nearly fitted. Her confusion at being 
 thus surprised by him was only equalled by 
 his own, and both coloured deeply : Hamey 
 could not but feel the kindness and little 
 attentions which Cromwell had invariably 
 shown them, and his very gentlemanlike 
 conduct towards herself. It weighed much in 
 his favour : as to love, that had never entered 
 the poor girl's head : she knew too well the 
 impassable barrier between them. Our hero 
 thought he had never in his life seen any- 
 thing half so lovely as the blushing girl before 
 him: the blush was, however, but momentary. 
 She was the first to recover self-possession ; 
 descended to the floor, and began to collect 
 her work. Cromwell, all the time, looked on, 
 bewildered with admiration.
 
 1 60 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 At length, he came to himself, and begged 
 she would be seated. This she declined, in the 
 prettiest manner possible ; adding that, " she 
 had done what her mother desired, and had 
 no idea that he was in the barracks, or she 
 never would have taken the liberty of entering 
 his room." Our hero, however, pressed her 
 to sit down, telling her he had long wished 
 for an interview. He knew she was shortly 
 to embark for head-quarters, and had some- 
 thing of importance to say to her. The 
 graceful girl at length consented, and sate 
 down. 
 
 He began by telling her, that, as she was 
 going to Gibraltar, there were many little 
 comforts and necessaries which they might 
 want, but that he was sure her father would 
 not accept money, if he offered it. He 
 then proffered it to her, in the most delicate 
 manner he could, begging her to take it, 
 for the sake of her family. Harney, for some
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 161 
 
 time, resisted all his persuasions : she seemed, 
 however, after a while, more inclined to consent, 
 when, suddenly, a knock at the door was heard 
 — the door flew open, and O'Toole confronted 
 the pair. Awed by the look which Cromw T ell 
 gave him, he stammered forth, in great con- 
 fusion, " Oh ! excuse me ! — beg pardon, — no 
 intention of spoiling sport, — did'nt know you 
 had a woman in your room :" saying which, he 
 shut the door, and retired. 
 
 The fellow had seen Harney enter Cromwell's 
 apartment, and had never left his window until 
 he saw our hero follow her, (by appointment, as 
 he supposed). His jealous rage was so great 
 that he had determined to show her, at any risk, 
 that he was aware of her having met Cromwell, 
 intending to turn this knowledge to his own 
 account. 
 
 Our hero turned purple with rage, and 
 heaven knows where it would have ended, had 
 he not, on looking about for his sword, a stick,
 
 162 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 or any, the first thing he could lay his hands 
 upon, chanced to glance at Harney, who, having 
 turned deadly pale at the sight of O 'Toole, now 
 fell fainting from her chair. All his thoughts 
 and energies became diverted to her, and he 
 was at her side in a moment. She soon came 
 to herself, and, to Cromwell's anxious inquiries, 
 replied that she was now quite recovered, and 
 begged he would allow her to leave his room. 
 Accordingly, she prepared to leave it, but, just 
 as she reached the door, a sudden thought 
 seemed to strike her ; she turned, and said, " If 
 you have more to say, meet me by the little 
 gate going into the brick-field, as the retreat 
 sounds." 
 
 Harney was true to the appointment, and as 
 the buglers of the different corps in Devonport 
 sounded off the retreat, she reached the little 
 wicket. Cromwell had been detained nearly 
 half an hour ; he happened to be orderly officer 
 for his depot, and had to inspect the regimental
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 163 
 
 picquet: he did not reach the indicated spot 
 until that delicious twilight so peculiar to our 
 climate, had begun to fade ; the new moon 
 had already risen above the Mewstone, and 
 threw a partial stream of dancing silver across 
 Plymouth Sound and its Breakwater. He 
 found Harney at the gate, anxiously awaiting 
 his arrival; she would not allow him to enter 
 into any explanation as to the cause of his 
 being so late, but desired him to follow her 
 across the field, and entered, at the farther 
 extremity of it, a hovel which had been used 
 as a shelter to brickmakers, and was at the 
 opposite end from the road. It was in rather 
 a ruinous state, but answered the purpose of 
 shielding them from observation. Mildly, but 
 firmly, she requested that he would take back 
 the note he had so kindly, and, she added, so 
 feelingly given to her, that morning. She 
 had never, she said, intended to accept it, 
 and nothing but the surprise of OToole's
 
 164 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 sudden entrance could have induced her to 
 retain it for a moment. She concluded by saying 
 that she was perfectly sensible of his good 
 intentions towards her family; ever since he 
 had been in the regiment he had shown them 
 kindness ; but that they required little, and that, 
 through the goodness of Major Bassoon, and the 
 assistant- surgeon's wife, they were comfortably 
 provided with everything they required for 
 the voyage. As she held out her hand to 
 tender him the note, he could not resist taking 
 it in his; she tried to withdraw it, but he 
 detained it gently and whispered, " Harney, 
 forgive me: I cannot help it; it is now my 
 turn, and I must have my say. You must 
 tell me why you were so terrified at the sight 
 of OToole?" 
 
 In a somewhat confused and hurried manner, 
 but still with perfect frankness, she admitted 
 that she was conscious of being watched by
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 165 
 
 O 'Toole ; that it had been going on now for 
 some time. 
 
 " I myself have watched you, but for no bad 
 motive," replied he, "almost, I may say, ever since 
 I joined. I have watched over you when you 
 little thought of it ; but forgive me — my feel- 
 ings are carrying me away from what is of 
 more consequence. Tell me — I have had 
 misgivings — has that man ever spoken to you ?" 
 
 At the mention of O'Toole's name, Cromwell 
 felt Harney's hand tremble violently : just at 
 this moment, she tore it away from his, 
 and both were, at the same instant, struck 
 by a dark shadow which fell across the 
 doorway of the hovel. Harney clung to 
 Cromwell, who passed his arm round her waist, 
 and pressed her to him. She exclaimed, in 
 a trembling voice : 
 
 " Oh, merciful Heaven ! I am certain it is 
 him. I am ruined !" 
 
 The poor girl, however, instantly recovered
 
 166 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 her self-possession, and, gently disengaging 
 herself from his arms, thanked him for his 
 kindness, and begged that he would leave her : 
 she said that she had been very nervous of late, 
 but now again felt quite herself. Our hero 
 was on the point of rushing after the listener, 
 but Hamey detained him, saying it was of no 
 use, for that he was, in all probability, by that 
 time, far distant. She then as suddenly changed 
 her mind, and begged that he would be so 
 good as to remain in the hut till she had time 
 to regain the road. It was now again Crom- 
 well's turn, and he asked for five minutes' 
 conversation. He earnestly requested her to 
 conceal nothing from him, and asked if ever 
 O'Toole had, directly or indirectly, made any 
 advances to her ? Although he no longer held 
 her hand, he could perceive her shudder at the 
 very mention of the name. This confirmed 
 him in the opinion he had formed, and he told 
 Hamey, without disguise, all his suspicions, and
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 167 
 
 cautioned her to be on her guard against any 
 advances from O'Toole, were they apparently ever 
 so well intended. He explained to her not only 
 the heavy loss her family would sustain in 
 leaving Major Bassoon, of which she was well 
 aware, but also the sad exchange they would 
 make by being under such a man as Colonel 
 Flint, at head-quarters. 
 
 He ended by assuring her that Filagree 
 might be depended upon, he having given a 
 faithful promise to befriend them on the voyage, 
 and, as far as lay in his power, after their arrival on 
 the Rock. After much persuasion, he got her to 
 promise to write to him should O'Toole molest 
 her, and for that purpose gave her several 
 covers, directed to himself, in Filagree's hand- 
 writing, a practice which that lady-killer generally 
 resorted to, in most of his liaisons, getting half- 
 a-dozen men to write his address on envelopes 
 destined to that employment; a dodge he had 
 invented to prevent detection of letters by inqui-
 
 168 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 sitive mammas. Harney did not refuse com- 
 pliance, and Cromwell, having once more caught 
 her in his arms, suffered her to depart. 
 
 The following day, the detachment embarked 
 for Gibraltar.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 169 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 There was Gibraltar, and there England's flag was 
 flying. 
 
 CRESCENT AND THE CROSS. 
 
 As the evening gun flashed from the summit 
 of the rock, the anchor was " let go ;" and a 
 line-of-battle ship swung to her moorings in 
 the bay of Gibraltar. The sun, which had set 
 in a flood of glory, had but just sunk below the 
 horizon, and the purple rock, bristling with a 
 thousand cannon, towered fourteen hundred 
 feet straight above the noble vessel. Such a 
 sight, and beheld from the deck of one of 
 England's finest men of war, could not but 
 
 VOL. I. i
 
 170 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 have its effect, and the proud heart of our hero 
 beat fast as he contemplated his country's 
 strength. The key to the Mediterranean belongs 
 to old England : " who," thought he, " will have 
 the temerity to attempt to take it from her ?" 
 
 Eight hundred feet above the level of the 
 sea, are hewn out of the solid rock those won- 
 derful galleries, the guns of which command, at 
 long ranges, the whole line of the Neutral 
 Ground. A long causeway, having the bay on 
 the one side, and, on the other, a deep inundation, 
 is the only approach from the land. Two 
 hundred pieces of cannon, always loaded with 
 grape, bear upon this causeway, which is un- 
 dermined, the mines being constantly charged ; 
 so that, even supposing the guns to fail 
 and the causeway to be covered with the 
 invading troops, one match, one spark, applied 
 to the train, would blow them all to eternity ; 
 while the causeway itself, blasted to atoms, 
 would no longer serve as an approach to the
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 171 
 
 Rock : one convulsive gurgle, and the blue waters 
 of the Mediterranean would flow in its place, 
 as though they had done so for centuries. 
 
 The following morning, pratique was granted, 
 and Cromwell landed, amidst a motley assem- 
 blage of people of all nations, all colours, and 
 all costumes : amidst piles of oranges, pome- 
 granates, melons, figs, and flowers, the pro- 
 duction of a southern clime. But, more 
 striking than all these, to a young officer fresh 
 from his depot, were the bronzed faces of the 
 veterans of the head-quarters, the greater part 
 of whom were heroes of the Peninsula ; men who 
 had led storming-parties and forlorn hopes, and 
 braved death in a hundred battles. 
 
 He found his regiment quartered in the 
 Casemate Barracks, at the Waterport gate, 
 close to where he landed, and instantly went in 
 search of his old chum, Filagree. He opened 
 several doors, until he came to one room which 
 there was no mistaking. Several French prints 
 
 I 2
 
 172 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 hung on the wall ; a guitar, with a blue ribbon 
 and silver fringe, lay upon the sofa ; a pair of 
 castanettes, a broken fan, and a faded bouquet, 
 upon the table ; sundry notes, of every size and 
 shape, written upon paper of every colour, lay 
 dotted about the room ; whilst the well-known 
 bark of Fuzboz came sharp from the inner 
 chamber. 
 
 The friends were delighted to meet : it was 
 the greatest possible surprise to Filagree, who 
 thought that Cromwell was in England, and 
 never dreamed of seeing him at his bed-side. 
 
 Our hero was most anxious to make certain 
 inquiries of the Muffin-worrier, but he, half 
 asleep, had broken out in his usual strain : 
 " Spanish poppets ; feet — legs — charming crea- 
 tures !" — Cromwell, all the time, trying to stop 
 him, but apparently without avail. On he went : 
 " Black eyes, high combs, mantillas," and, " fair 
 creatures" who did him the honour to adore him. 
 
 At length, observing symptoms of impatience
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 173 
 
 in Cromwell, he seemed to think he had better 
 desist, and inquired of our hero, how the deuce 
 he had got there ? 
 
 It is necessary that the reader should be 
 informed of the occasion of this sudden move 
 taken by Cromwell. It will be recollected that 
 when he took leave of Harney Crosbie, he had 
 given her several blank sheets of paper, all ready 
 folded and addressed to himself; at the same time 
 desiring her to let him know instantly if her 
 fair fame were likely to be the least endangered 
 by the advances or intrigues of O'Toole. He 
 had received a letter from her, stating that that 
 person had incessantly annoyed her, ever since 
 landing at Gibraltar ; that, during the voyage, 
 Filagree had been true to his word, and had not 
 suffered her to be molested ; but that now, she 
 could no longer receive any benefit from his 
 protection : that O'Toole had been appointed 
 acting Adjutant by Colonel Flint; was all 
 in all with the Colonel, and that he had
 
 174 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 already commenced a system of continued annoy- 
 ance and persecution against the whole family ; 
 having, moreover, as much as given her to 
 understand that it entirely rested with her 
 whether he should ruin her father, or gain him 
 the good graces of his commanding officer ; and 
 adding, that there was no persecution to which he 
 would not subject the family, if she refused to 
 yield. Alarmed, distressed, and well knowing that 
 O'Toole had the power to do what he said, she 
 wrote off to our hero, stating her position. 
 
 As it happened, a line-of-battle ship was, at 
 the moment that Cromwell received Harney's 
 letter, lying in the sound ; the ' blue peter' 
 flying at her fore, under sailing orders for the 
 Mediterranean. The captain was a great friend 
 of Cromwell's, and at once offered him a pas- 
 sage. He stated his reasons for wishing to go 
 immediately to Gibraltar, to the old Major, who 
 instantly went to Government House, and ob- 
 tained leave for him to go out ; et voila tout.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 175 
 
 All this our hero told to the Muffin-worrier ; 
 who, strange to say, listened very attentively, 
 and never once made any attempt to interrupt 
 him ; until Cromwell, with eager impatience, 
 asked where Harney was. 
 
 " All right," was the reply. " I have got 
 her a berth with a charming creature who does 
 me the honour to adore me : a married poppet — 
 her husband in the Havanna — a merchant of 
 cigars — an angel ! — the most perfect termina- 
 tions !— " 
 
 The impatience of our hero at length knew no 
 bounds, and he desired his friend to tell him 
 something further of Harney. After some 
 time, but not before he had twice again broken 
 out into his egotistical manner of talking, did 
 Cromwell gain the desired information. 
 
 Filagree was deeply engaged in making love 
 to Donna Lopez, the wife of a cigar-mer- 
 chant, at that time on a visit to his plantations 
 in the Havannah. She had a couple of
 
 176 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 daughters, nearly grown up ; and, being very 
 anxious that they should learn English, had 
 applied to the Muffin to know if he could engage 
 her "a young English person, of sufficient respec- 
 tability?" He recommended Harney Crosbie, 
 who, accordingly, was duly installed as governess 
 in the family of Donna Lopez. She had now 
 been three weeks in this employment, which she 
 liked very much, and her mistress was equally 
 pleased with her; the young ladies, too, had 
 taken the greatest possible fancy to Harney. 
 What pleased Cromwell most, however, was 
 Filagree's assurance that, in the house of 
 Lopez, she was completely safe from any per- 
 secution on OToole's part. He wound up by 
 telling him that he should see her that very 
 evening, and was just on the point of again 
 breaking out into some extravagant praise of 
 himself, and his succes with " the Lopez," as 
 he called her, when our hero, having gained 
 all the information he required, left the room, in
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 177 
 
 the midst of the most tremendous peal of bark- 
 ing from dog Furzebush, who was busily 
 engaged in his old employment of running 
 after his tail. 
 
 Everything on the Rock was a novelty to 
 Cromwell, from the turbaned Moors to the 
 amusing monkeys, scampering about among 
 their fastnesses. Gibraltar is the only place 
 in Europe where monkeys are to be seen 
 in a wild state: as is well known, they are 
 not indigenous to the place, but are a breed 
 of apes originally imported from the opposite 
 coast of Barbary. They increase wonderfully, 
 and are protected by the governor. 
 
 On Sundays, when the troops were drawn up 
 on the Alameda, for divine service, a whole host, 
 headed by one fine old grey fellow, of enormous 
 size, and known to the soldiers as " the Town 
 Major," would make their appearance on the 
 ledges of the rocks overhanging the ground, 
 
 i 3
 
 178 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 where, amidst the rock myrtle or wild geraniums, 
 they would mimic the whole of the proceedings, 
 even to the big drum placed in the midst of the 
 hollow square, and upon which the prayer-books 
 and Bible were left. When the clergyman 
 timed his discourse with the sun, all would go 
 on with due decorum ; but did he, by over-zeal, 
 or accident, miscalculate the advent of the great 
 luminary, he was sure to be caught by Old Sol, 
 whose scorching rays, the instant he peeped over 
 the rock, fell full upon the good man's bald 
 pate. Instantly, an end would be put to his dis- 
 course ; his hat placed upon his head, and with 
 a bow to the commanding officer, he took 
 his departure. This was the signal for the 
 " Town Major" to go through the like cere- 
 mony, and so faithfully did he and the 
 whole tribe mimic the proceeding, that, when 
 he made his best bow, and imitated the form 
 of putting on his hat, and dismissing the con-
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 179 
 
 gregation, the female monkeys would place their 
 young upon their backs, like knapsacks, and 
 scamper up the rocks. 
 
 Not long after our hero had been settled on 
 the Rock, he performed one of the most extraor- 
 dinary feats, in its way, ever perhaps accom- 
 plished, and one which ought not to be passed 
 over without mention. There are one-and- 
 twenty huge guns, mounted upon iron carriages, 
 on the Saluting Battery at Gibraltar. It was 
 considered anything but easy to clear one ; 
 and an officer won a bet by jumping over 
 four of them in succession. Our Cromwell 
 declared that he would undertake to jump over 
 the whole, one after the other, without stopping, 
 and offered to back himself to do so. He 
 was not long in finding plenty of persons to 
 take him up, and nine and ten to one were freely 
 given, over and over again. 
 
 A feat of that sort was a novelty at Gibraltar, 
 where any kind of amusement is at a premium.
 
 1 80 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 Numbers of bets were made, pro and con ; half 
 
 the garrison were concerned in the result, and 
 the other half, for the want of something to do, 
 
 and the fun of a little excitement, had assembled 
 along the battery, for the purpose of witnessing 
 the trial. All the officers' ladies turned out, 
 and even the Spanish families had got wind 
 of the affair. Amongst the number, of course, 
 were the Lopez, and Harney. Indeed, to say 
 the truth, Cromwell had been more influenced 
 by the hope of getting a sight of Harney, and a 
 few words with her, than by the odds taken, or 
 the honour and glory to be acquired. 
 
 "The day was gloriously fine for the occa- 
 sion," as the English newspapers generally 
 preface the description of a review in honour 
 of some foreign potentate ; but all the days are 
 gloriously fine at Gibraltar, only a little too hot. 
 At the appointed time, the saluting battery 
 was crowded ; all Gibraltar poured forth to 
 witness the result.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 181 
 
 Cromwell had donned, for the occasion, a 
 pink silk jersey frock, and when he took off his 
 coat and presented himself at the post, a sort of 
 murmur ran through the female portion of the 
 multitude at the perfect symmetry of his pro- 
 portions. His manly form elicited a more than 
 ordinary exclamation from the Lopez, who 
 flirted with her fan, and patted the ground with 
 her little foot, in a sort of fidgety manner, which 
 put our Muffin into the most jealous and unen- 
 viable state. 
 
 Without the least apparent effort, and with 
 the greatest ease, did Cromwell win his bet He 
 cleared the guns, one after the other, in the 
 most graceful manner. A shout from the 
 assembled multitude burst forth, as he jumped 
 the last gun, and a pair of soft blue eyes beamed 
 upon him from amidst the labyrinth of waving 
 pocket-handkerchiefs, and fluttering fans. He 
 felt a perfect giant — an Hercules. What power
 
 182 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 had those soft blue eyes ! He actually turned 
 round, and jumped the guns back again. * 
 
 Early of a morning, our hero, who was pas- 
 sionately fond of shooting, would sling his gun 
 over his shoulder, mount his pony, and canter 
 off some six or seven miles to the first venta, 
 on the way to the Cork-woods of the (Brigand) 
 Miller celebrity, in search of game, which 
 was to be found in great plenty in the surround- 
 ing country. On these occasions, either in 
 going or returning, as he passed the Spanish 
 lines, he often came upon their soldiers at mess. 
 Round a large cauldron, filled with grease, fish, 
 and oil, mixed together, were usually ranged some 
 twenty or five-and- twenty men — short, thick-set 
 little fellows, each armed with a leaden spoon. 
 
 * This extraordinary feat was performed by Lieu- 
 tenant Freer, of the 43d Light Infantry, and in full 
 uniform.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 183 
 
 At a given signal, a particular soldier stepped 
 forward, dipped his spoon into the nasty con- 
 coction, fell back to his place, and swallowed 
 his spoonful ; the next in succession would do 
 the same, and so it proceeded, in a regular 
 rotation, until the contents of the pot were 
 spooned up. Wretched and miserable-looking 
 dogs as they appeared, scarcely ever touching 
 meat, and living entirely on bread and grease, it 
 is surprising what fatigue they could undergo — 
 what privations they could endure — and what 
 burdens they could carry. They would perform 
 long marches, in the hottest weather ; but as to 
 their courage, that is quite another affair. 
 Nearly all troops will fight when well com- 
 manded ; witness the cowardly Portuguese, 
 under Lord Beresford, and their corps of 
 Cacadores, employed with our light division in 
 Spain, when officered by Englishmen. 
 
 One anecdote, illustrative of their great 
 activity, may be advanced, although it tells
 
 184 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 against the hero of " Saluting Battery" cele- 
 brity. One day, he had been to the second 
 tower on the eastern beach ; the weather 
 had been sultry ; a long, thick, heavy cloud 
 seemed, at the distance, to be attached to 
 the summit of the rock, and stood out to 
 westward. The gum-cistus, thick and clammy, 
 had stuck to Cromwell's leather leggings ; he 
 had had good sport, and had bagged his six or 
 seven brace of red-legged partridge ; as many 
 more quail and ground doves had shared a like 
 fate, when he found himself, at noon, near one of 
 those towers on the eastern beach, which were 
 each garrisoned by a corporal and half a dozen 
 soldiers, employed as Guarda Costas, or revenue 
 officers. He was very tired, and gladly availed 
 himself of their invitation to enter the sort of 
 Martello tower in which they were quartered. 
 
 The party were about to eat their dinner, 
 which consisted of a huge bowl of " gaspaccio," 
 this said gaspaccio being concocted with about
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 185 
 
 three quarts of water, some grapes, tomatoes, 
 onions, and a plentiful supply of garlic; into 
 this, soldier's black rye-bread being broken. 
 Spoons they had none : each, in his turn, put his 
 face into the bowl, and took as long a pull at its 
 contents as his breath would allow. Cromwell, 
 at first, thought the proceeding rather a " fishy" 
 one ; but the day was, as we have said, ex- 
 ceedingly sultry, and he was very hot and thirsty. 
 The concoction looked most invitingly cool ; the 
 invitation was very cordial, and our hero dived. 
 He had no reason to repent ; and, in ten minutes, 
 the gaspaccio was finished. A cigar was 
 tendered to each of the soldiers (the greatest 
 possible compliment you can pay to a Spaniard), 
 a guitar was produced, and they returned his 
 courtesy by some exceedingly good songs. 
 That over, the conversation turned upon the 
 capabilities of marching, &c. of the Spanish 
 troops ; and our hero suddenly found himself 
 challenged to jump by one of the most four-feet
 
 186 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 nothing, rear-rank-looking men that he had 
 ever laid eyes on. He was not only challenged 
 to jump, but was actually out-jumped by this 
 pigmy. He, the hero of the Saluting Battery, 
 was defeated ! 
 
 Cromwell took his defeat in good part, lit his 
 last cigar, divided the contents of his flask of 
 cognac amongst the good-humoured " Jack 
 Spans," and rode off amidst their vivas. 
 
 As he approached the Neutral Ground, sundry 
 flashes became apparent, and as they belched 
 forth from amidst the craigs of the north front, 
 it was soon evident that the artillery were en- 
 gaged in practising from the Casemated Bat- 
 teries. On approaching the Bay side Barrier, 
 Cromwell's attention was attracted by an un- 
 usually loud report, and, looking up, he could 
 plainly perceive that some explosion had taken 
 place. He saw what he fancied were pieces 
 of rags, and ramrods, blown from three of the 
 port-holes; but the height and the distance 
 
 V
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 187 
 
 were so great, that he supposed it was merely 
 the wadding which was blown out. Soon 
 after entering, he gave his pony to his ser- 
 vant, and sought Filagree's room. The bird, 
 however, had flown. Something flashed across 
 our hero's mind : he all at once became uneasy, 
 fancied that something had gone wrong, and 
 instantly set off to race up the Rock, following 
 the zig-zag path which leads past the Moorish 
 castle, towards the batteries of the north 
 front. 
 
 Suddenly, he encountered a horrible spectacle. 
 Ten unfortunate artillery- men were borne 
 towards the town, on shutters. They had been 
 engaged, as he had thought, at long range 
 practice, from one of the galleries : whether 
 accidentally, or through neglect — for it never 
 transpired, one of the expense magazines blew 
 up, and with it eighteen artillery- men were 
 hurled to destruction. Some were blown through
 
 188 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 the embrasures, and fell, crushed to atoms, 
 on the rocks, eight hundred feet below. These 
 poor fellows were what appeared to persons on 
 the Neutral Ground as so much wadding. One 
 man was in the act of ramming down the 
 charge, and was blown out, wash-rod in hand, 
 and, strange to say, he retained it in his grasp 
 long after death. Those whom Cromwell en- 
 countered had been picked up lying about the 
 chambers, awfully scorched and mutilated. 
 One poor fellow — though burned to a cinder, 
 still showing symptoms of life, had his bayonet 
 completely bent and twisted through his body. 
 But what most distressed Cromwell was the 
 discovery that the last shutter supported Fila- 
 gree. The artillery-officer in charge had been 
 on the outside, above the casemates, in order 
 the better to see the effect of the practice, 
 and the bursting of the shrapnel shells. Filagree, 
 who had been with him five minutes before,
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 189 
 
 had descended, and reached the first chamber 
 at the moment of the explosion, when he was 
 hurled on his face to the ground. 
 
 Although terribly scorched, particularly about 
 the face and neck, Filagree was not otherwise 
 much hurt. He was perfectly sensible; so 
 much so, as to request that he might be 
 taken to one of the military hospitals, instead 
 of lying up in his own quarters. We beg leave 
 to digress for a moment, in order to recom- 
 mend this proceeding of Filagree's to any one 
 who may have the misfortune to meet with 
 a very serious accident, such as fracture of a 
 limb, &c. So strange, however, is the pre- 
 judice of many against establishments of the 
 kind, that they have the greatest antipathy to 
 an infirmary ; and, instead of being aware that 
 you are doing them the greatest possible kind- 
 ness, in sending them to a place where they 
 will receive the best advice or attendance, they 
 invariably imagine that they are sent there to
 
 190 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 be got rid of, or to have operations per- 
 formed upon them by way of experiment, or 
 practise. No place, however, is there where 
 they will be so well cared for ; so secure from 
 the killing kindness of friends, or from unneces- 
 sary intrusion; added to which, the constant 
 attendance of nurses, the regularity of diet, and 
 medical advice, always at hand, render an hos- 
 pital the fittest place for an invalid. Accord- 
 ingly, our hero accompanied his friend to the 
 general hospital, where he remained for the 
 better part of a month, and until the attentions 
 of the P. M. O., Dr. Pestle, had rendered him 
 sufficiently convalescent to return to his 
 quarters, and perfect his cure under his own 
 surgeon, Magnesia. 
 
 The Governor of Gibraltar, at that time, was 
 an old man. He had been for many years upon 
 the Rock, and was universally respected. He 
 had done much for the comfort of all classes, 
 had improved the public walks, and effected
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 191 
 
 all in his power to render the sterile and iron 
 face of war, by which they were surrounded, 
 agreeable to the sight and senses of the in- 
 habitants. There, amidst the mazy walks of 
 the upper Alameda, the Spanish lady, en- 
 veloped in her mantilla, and with her graceful 
 fan in hand, reposed herself, and listened to 
 the soft strains of her lover's guitar, on an 
 apparently rustic seat, embowered in wild 
 myrtle, jasmine, and geraniums ; but the rustic 
 bench, and its fair freight would, in reality, 
 be resting upon a lazy, long, black ninety-six 
 pounder, or an howitzer of awful calibre. 
 
 The worthy Governor paid an annual tribute 
 to the Miller of the Cork Wood, the most 
 notorious brigand in all Andalusia ; and, in con- 
 sequence, he never interfered with any of the 
 officers of the garrison when on their shooting- 
 parties in Spain. To the Governor, Cromwell 
 had brought a letter from Colonel Scabbart,
 
 192 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 who had once been on his staff, and a great 
 favourite with his commanding officer : accord- 
 ingly, he was exceedingly good-natured to the 
 young officer, shewing him every kindness in his 
 power, and inviting him to join his shooting- 
 parties. Poor gentleman ! Although nearly in his 
 dotage, he was passionately fond of shooting ; at 
 any rate, to the last day of his life, he liked to be 
 hought a sportsman ; and, whenever the shoot- 
 ing fit came on him, he would repair, in great 
 state, to the village of St. Roque, about six 
 miles from Gibraltar. 
 
 The first time Cromwell joined one of these 
 expeditions, he nearly died of laughter at 
 the ridiculous figure the Governor made of 
 himself. He was arrayed in what he termed 
 his " duck-hunter/' namely, a very long-waisted 
 shagreen shooting-frock, with embroidered 
 gold-laced flaps, and large brass buttons : his 
 nether man was encased in canary-coloured
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 193 
 
 leather breeches, and mahogany-coloured top 
 boots. After breakfast, accompanied by a 
 couple of his aides-de-camp, he would turn out 
 to duck-shoot; and his companions, taking 
 advantage of the good man's weakness, and 
 to save themselves trouble, invariably con- 
 ducted him to an old stagnant pond, situated 
 in a grove of cork-trees, a little way below the 
 town. The edges of this pond were completely 
 overgrown with flaggers and bulrushes, and on 
 it they previously ascertained that a certain 
 old bald coot, which in time past had done them 
 similar good service, still existed. 
 
 Holding his breath, and with all the caution 
 taken by the most accomplished duck-shooter, 
 the old gentleman would, day after day, go 
 through the regular form of stealing down 
 through the rushes and reeds, upon the same 
 coot. After a certain time had elapsed, and the 
 aides-de-camp had got him nearly up to the 
 
 vol. I. K
 
 194 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 mahogany line of his boots in the water, the 
 duck would be pointed out to him, amidst the 
 reeds on the opposite side of the slimy pond ; 
 and one of the keepers, with his finger on his 
 lips, and the most intensely eager look he could 
 put on for the occasion, would hand him his 
 gun, at full cock. 
 
 The Governor would fire off the gun : the 
 bald coot invariably dived : the old gentle- 
 man was hustled back to terra firma by 
 his aides-de-camp, the one on either side, 
 whilst he exultingly declared that he had 
 " killed by jingo !" that it was a " devilish good 
 shot!" that he had "killed by Jupiter!" and 
 so on. 
 
 Instantly on his firing, the aides-de-camp 
 would set up a shout; the retrievers would 
 be sent into the water, the rushes and sedge appa- 
 rently well searched, and the dead game, in time, 
 would be produced to the exulting Governor.
 
 LTFE IN THE ARMY. 195 
 
 Poor old deluded individual ! That very iden- 
 tical duck had travelled from St. Roque that 
 morning, in the keeper's pocket, and, more- 
 over, was a tame one. 
 
 K 2
 
 196 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Here, in our lower ranks, are to be found men of sober, 
 quiet, obedient dispositions ; others, drunken, turbulent, 
 disaffected, and disorderly, whom nothing but the strong 
 arm of the law, and coercive measures, will keep in any 
 degree of subordination, and prevent from domineering 
 over their peaceable, well-disposed comrades ; and it is 
 only the disaffected, the licentious, and ill-disposed, that 
 consider the prompt enforcement of order and discipline, 
 by coercive measures, dispensible or unnecessary in the 
 army. 
 
 RETROSPECT OF A MILITARY LIFE, 
 
 By a Sergeant of the 42nd Regiment. 
 
 Suddenly, one of those periodical scourges 
 sent from the Almighty, became manifest at 
 Gibraltar. No one knew how it arrived, but
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 197 
 
 the yellow fever burst forth. Some there were 
 who affirmed that it was brought in a vessel, 
 laden with fruit, from the West Indies. Doctors 
 differed as to whether it was contagious or no. 
 A French physician of eminence swallowed some 
 of the black vomit, and did not die : this 
 rather staggered the contagionists. Every 
 remedy was tried, but to no purpose. Doc- 
 tors were brought to courts-martial, by their 
 own Faculty, for their modes of treatment; 
 but the number of the deaths daily in- 
 creased. 
 
 All the regiments in the town were ordered 
 out, and encamped upon " the Neutral Ground." 
 The Spaniards at once established a cordon 
 across it, and a double line of sentinels was 
 posted; no living thing was allowed within 
 musket- range — even the very dogs were shot at. 
 Fresh provisions, fruit, vegetables, &c, were 
 placed upon the ground by Spanish peasants,
 
 198 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 within range of the soldiers' muskets, and, on 
 the English lodging the money in the same 
 place, they were allowed to take them away ; but 
 no nearer approach was suffered An English 
 soldier, who had imbibed too freely of aqua- 
 ardiente, attempted to make his way through 
 the Spanish cordon, but met with a warm 
 reception ; running the gauntlet of the whole 
 line of sentinels, every one of whom fired at 
 him; yet he escaped, and got back to the 
 camp. 
 
 The disease raged furiously in the town, and, 
 although the men were under canvas outside 
 the walls, still they died in great numbers. 
 The duty had to be performed : the guards were 
 obliged to be mounted. In the town, and 
 on the fortifications, of a necessity, the im- 
 portant posts must be secured ; the defence 
 of the place required it. But there was one 
 guard, a needless one, mounted over the Con-
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 199 
 
 vent, the residence of the Governor — a mere 
 guard over the walls, for his Excellency was, at 
 the time, inhabiting his cottage on the south 
 of the Rock. 
 
 The Convent was situated in the midst 
 of the town — in that part of it where the dis- 
 ease showed itself most malignantly — the very 
 heart of the contagion. It soon became known 
 that few men lived who were selected for that 
 duty, and the guard there was, in consequence, 
 reduced to a sergeant and nine men — and should 
 have been taken off altogether. 
 
 It too soon became evident to the poor fellows 
 themselves, that it was certain death, within 
 four-and-twenty hours after they went on. 
 They drew lots for the fatal duty ; those who 
 drew the shortest straws, threw them on the 
 ground, in sullen silence. No instance ever 
 occurred of a man objecting to his lot : they 
 went on guard, and died.
 
 200 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 The performance of this duty in the town 
 devolved upon two regiments, of which Crom- 
 well's was one. They lost upwards of two 
 hundred men during this fever : in all proba- 
 bility they would not have lost half the number, 
 had they not been obliged to give the Convent 
 guard. The strongest, finest, and most robust 
 were the first attacked. The fever even found 
 its way to the encampment, and the regimental 
 cook, who had prepared the dinner for the 
 officers' mess, one day, died, and was buried, 
 before that dinner was eaten. Cromwell 
 was seized with the disorder, and went into the 
 regimental hospital in the town. 
 
 We must now recur to the Adjutant 
 O'Toole. Foiled in his diabolical intentions 
 towards Harney, by the sudden arrival of 
 Cromwell, and by her removal to the house of 
 Donna Lopez, his rage knew no bounds, and 
 he took the present opportunity to carry out the
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 201 
 
 most diabolical scheme which, perhaps, was 
 ever planned, for effecting his end. Cromwell's 
 falling ill of the fever, offered a chance which, 
 even in his most sanguine expectations, he never 
 anticipated. Every thing now seemed most 
 opportune. Filagree, likewise, was out of his 
 way, laid up, as we have already mentioned, 
 though now recovering, from his accident at the 
 artillery practise. 
 
 Depending, then, on the support he was 
 sure of getting from Colonel Flint, he, one 
 morning, found fault with Sergeant Higgins. 
 The meat for the regiment was late : it so 
 happened that the butcher had caught the fever, 
 and the required complement of rations was not 
 forthcoming. The opportunity was that which 
 he had long wished for ; he attacked Higgins 
 in his capacity of quarter-master- sergeant, asked 
 him " why the meat had not been issued to the 
 different companies ?" — and, before Higgins 
 had time to reply, told him " that he was a 
 
 K 3
 
 202 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 d d coward; that he saw through the 
 
 whole thing — that he was afraid to go into the 
 town, on account of the fever, and that he 
 would report him to the commanding officer. 
 At the same time, turning round, he called 
 out to him, in a voice so low that it was im- 
 possible Higgins could hear, but loud enough 
 to be overheard by a corporal who happened to 
 be passing at the time, " Consider yourself 
 under arrest." 
 
 Sergeant Higgins, as we have already 
 observed, had always been the foremost amongst 
 the brave on service in the Peninsula. His 
 indignation, at being called a coward, was more 
 than he could possibly bear ; but he was old 
 soldier enough to know the consequence of 
 replying to his superior officer with the least 
 disrespect. He also knew that O'Toole hated 
 him : he had been warned of it by Cromwell, 
 who cautioned him repeatedly to keep his 
 temper at all times, how much soever he
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 203 
 
 might be irritated. Higgins felt so grievously 
 insulted, that he quite forgot himself, and 
 rushed across the barrack-yard, declaring 
 that he would go to the commanding-officer, 
 and report the way in which he had been 
 insulted. 
 
 More misfortune. " Misfortunes," they say, 
 " never come single." That very night, Hig- 
 gins's wife was taken into the hospital, and, in 
 less than three hours, died of the yellow fever. 
 She had repeatedly asked for her husband, 
 and thought it cruel that he was not brought 
 to her bed-side; but he was under arrest, 
 and too proud to ask for leave from OToole, 
 although the demand was made from his 
 wife's death-bed, and it wrung his very heart- 
 strings not to see her. 
 
 In her delirium, she raved for Hamey. A 
 messenger was despatched to the south, to 
 Donna Lopez, but she would not admit the
 
 204 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 person, and it was not for many weeks after that 
 the poor girl heard of her mother's death ; or, 
 indeed, of any of the sad disasters we are about 
 to relate. The dying woman also asked for 
 Cromwell, repeatedly demanding of the nurse 
 who attended her, why he was not there ? 
 
 Higgins was reduced from his rank as 
 quarter-master-sergeant the following day ; after 
 being placed in arrest, he was released, and 
 desired to return to his duty as sergeant, and 
 the following paragraph appeared in the re- 
 gimental orders : — 
 
 " The Commanding Officer has been pleased 
 to appoint Colour-sergeant Lucky to be quarter- 
 master-sergeant, vice Higgins, who, in conse- 
 quence of his late irregular conduct, will return 
 to his duty as sergeant from this day." 
 
 The following morning, Sergeant Higgins 
 was first for duty, and it was his regiment's turn 
 to give the convent guard ; that guard from
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 205 
 
 which none had yet returned alive. The lots, as 
 usual, were drawn, and Sergeant Higgins was 
 desired by O'Toole to " tell off his men." He 
 did so, without uttering a word of complaint ; 
 but, as he received the word of command to 
 march off, he could not help saying to O'Toole, 
 that he " hoped God would forgive him for his 
 wickedness." It did not now suit the villain to 
 order him into arrest : he calculated that the 
 chance — or rather, the certainty, of the man's 
 death would much more effectually answer his 
 purposes, than the getting him reduced to the 
 rank of private sentinel. Nor was he mistaken : 
 Higgins never returned. 
 
 Just as the guard was marched off, Sergeant 
 Crosbie came running up. He had only that 
 moment heard of Higgins's disgrace. Not a 
 word was spoken by the poor old soldier : he 
 merely pointed to the simple cheverons of white 
 lace upon his clothing. Crosbie, however, was
 
 206 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 just in time to hear him utter the last sentence. 
 That was enough. The blood was boiling in 
 his veins ; he could not contain his wrath, 
 and called out before the parade, that " if justice 
 was to be had, he would bring Mr. OToole 
 before a court-martial, or die in the attempt." 
 He was, of course, immediately ordered into 
 arrest, and, being only a lance-sergeant, was 
 marched off to the guard-room, under an 
 escort. 
 
 At sunrise, on a September morning, a regi- 
 ment was to be seen wending its way " four 
 deep" along the zig-zag slopes, which overlook 
 the Waterport guard, at Gibraltar. As the way 
 became narrower, they received the word to 
 form " two deep," and, finally, to form single 
 rank ; and it was some time before the last man 
 of the regiment defiled into a triangular fissure 
 in the rock. In half an hour, the sun would
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 207 
 
 make his appearance, and render every place 
 into which his scorching rays could penetrate, 
 untenable. Most of the men knew too well 
 for what purpose they were marched into 
 that place, and the sight of "the triangles," 
 which had already been erected in the centre, 
 caused no sort of unusual wonder : " punish- 
 ment parades," in those days, were of so fre- 
 quent occurrence, that to men who had been 
 any time in the service, they appeared to 
 belong, as a matter of course, to the discipline 
 of the army. 
 
 Of late, much has been said, and written, 
 with reference to the necessity for retaining the 
 power to administer corporal punishment in the 
 British army ; but so long as that army shall be 
 constituted as it is at present, no person con- 
 versant with military affairs can entertain a 
 doubt that such power should be retained. By 
 the last Mutiny Act, the corporal punishment is
 
 208 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 limited to a hundred and fifty lashes ; and it is 
 pretty generally admitted, that this is considered 
 rather as a degradation than a punishment ; in 
 which respect, by the way, it would be found far 
 more effectual among the truculent vagabonds 
 who alone will render themselves liable to it, 
 if it were administered where " honour's 
 rather [more] squeamish," than it is about the 
 shoulders of offenders generally. But, now 
 that the schoolmaster has been allowed to enter 
 the army, and the Limited Enlistment Bill 
 is passed, we may hope that even this punish- 
 ment, in time, will be abolished.* 
 
 * The present system of military punishments can be 
 traced no further back than the era of William and 
 Mary. Two Scotch regiments, commanded by Lord 
 Dumbarton, at the Revolution, refused to submit to 
 William, after James II. had dismissed them ; and, un- 
 furling their standards, commenced a bold march to 
 Scotland : but, unfortunately for themselves, they
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 209 
 
 To return. Continuing in file around the base 
 of the Rock, the formation of " four deep" was 
 again resumed, and all closed upon the leading 
 
 encumbered their progress home with four cannons, 
 because these instruments of destruction had originally 
 belonged to Edinburgh Castle. William caused the 
 regiments to be pursued, and surrounded. To make 
 vengeance legal on these soldiers, the Mutiny Bill was 
 brought into Parliament ; and the result was, that British 
 soldiers were subjected, whether serving in these islands 
 or abroad, to the punishments which prevailed among 
 William's foreign mercenaries — the wickedest and 
 cruellest troops that England had ever seen, as Ireland 
 knew full well. 
 
 When King William was armed with the terrific 
 power given by the Mutiny Bill, he broke the Royal 
 Scotch regiments, gave the officers leave to go whereso- 
 ever they pleased, and distributed the unfortunate 
 common soldiers among his troops ; the most resolute 
 he sent to Flanders ; where, if they were not flogged to 
 death, it was no fault of the Mutiny Bill, and the Dutch 
 Code, which had superseded that of St. George. This 
 Code of St. George is in intelligible language ; it may be
 
 210 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 sections. They then received the word of com- 
 mand to " face inwards ;" and, on an opening 
 being made through the ranks, Sergeant 
 Crosbie, escorted by the sergeant and a file 
 of the guards, entered the square, and was 
 halted in front of the triangles. 
 
 Crosbie had always been a great favourite 
 in the regiment, and, for the time he had been 
 with them, no young soldier had ever earned 
 a better reputation amongst his comrades. A 
 sort of murmur, a mixture of surprise and pity, 
 ran through the ranks, but it was only mo- 
 mentary ; for, as we have already said, punish- 
 ment parades were too common occurrences at 
 the time to cause any great sensation. Colonel 
 
 seen, in the Fcedera, that there was no flogging in the 
 days of the Plantagenets. — (Life of Mary II., by Miss 
 Strickland.) 
 
 It is, therefore, to the illustrious reformer, William, 
 that we are obliged for this species of military punish- 
 ment.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 211 
 
 Flint thundered out the words, to " Fix 
 bayonets !" and the rough voice of the tyrant 
 reverberated amongst the cavities of the rock, 
 and, for the moment, steeled the hearts of 
 the men. 
 
 He then desired them to listen to the pro- 
 ceedings of a garrison court-martial. The 
 evidence was clear. The court found the 
 prisoner guilty of making use of mutinous and 
 disrespectful language to Ensign and Adjutant 
 O'Toole, when in the execution of his duty ; 
 and the finding was as follows : — 
 
 " They are of opinion that Lance-sergeant 
 
 John Crosbie, No. 840, of the regiment, 
 
 is guilty of the crime laid to his charge, and 
 therefore sentence him, the prisoner, Lance- 
 sergeant John Crosbie, No. 840, of the 
 
 regiment, to be reduced to the rank and pay of 
 a private sentinel, from this day ; and further, to 
 receive a corporal punishment of 500 lashes." 
 
 We will spare the reader the description of
 
 212 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 an infliction of this kind, and only say that 
 Crosbie received his cruel punishment without 
 a murmur, and was marched off to hospital, 
 a degraded man. Better for him had he died 
 at the halberts.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 213 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 But hen men died more rapidly, 
 
 They had not time to pray ; 
 
 ***** 
 
 And terror by the hearth stood cold, 
 
 And rent all natural ties, 
 And men, upon the bed of death 
 
 Met only stranger eyes : 
 The nurse and guard, stern, harsh, and wan, 
 
 Remained unpitying by ; 
 They had known so much wretchedness 
 
 They did not fear to die. 
 
 GIBRALTAR, DURING THE PLAGUE. 
 
 On one of the glorious and balmy evenings of 
 the month of September, a remarkably good- 
 looking, but pale and interesting young officer,
 
 214 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 was reclining upon one of those seats already 
 described amidst the groves of geraniums which 
 border the Upper Alameda. For some days 
 past a cloud had hung suspended, as it were, 
 over the Rock, apparently attached to the 
 summit by the slightest gossamer, but it lay 
 like a weight upon its inhabitants. A certain 
 lassitude of spirits which even effected the 
 Town Major and his dependent monkeys — 
 driving them to the inhabitable face of the 
 Rock — proclaimed the prevalence of the scirocco, 
 or east wind. The cloud, at length, however, 
 had been dissipated ; the sky was clear, and its 
 azure was reflected in equal splendour on the 
 waters of the Mediterranean. 
 
 The whole line of the coast of Barbary was 
 clearly defined : every sinuosity in the savage 
 mountain of Ape's Hill was distinctly visible 
 to the naked eye, and the headland of Ceuta, 
 with its fortifications, rose boldly from the 
 sea. To the right, the village of St. Roque
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 215 
 
 was backed by the snow-peaks of the Sierra di 
 Ronda and the mountain of Madenia Sidonia, 
 which, owing to the clearness of the atmo- 
 sphere, appeared to be close to the village, but, 
 in reality, were upwards of sixty miles off. 
 Directly in the front, and on the opposite side 
 of the bay, the long straight lines of the white 
 houses and campaniles of the churches of 
 Algesiras, cut the masses of the cork-woods 
 which apparently reached the very town ; while 
 a couple of fifty-gun frigates floated, swan-like, 
 upon the waters, their ports open, and showing 
 their teeth. 
 
 Passing along the immediate foreground of 
 our picture were several groups of Spanish 
 ladies, in black mantillas and picturesque cos- 
 tumes, bearing in their hands that universal 
 medium of conversation and flirtation in Anda- 
 lusia, a fan. Some held it above their graceful 
 heads, to shade their handsome faces from the 
 rays of the setting sun ; some were unfolding
 
 2 1 6 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 it gently, and as suddenly closing it. The 
 ladies of the south of Spain have a regular, 
 organized fan language ; a language not very 
 difficult to learn, even by one entirely uninitiated. 
 The movement of the fans of many of the 
 fair promenaders of the Alameda that evening, 
 would have led one to suppose that the mos- 
 quitoes were exceedingly troublesome : mos- 
 quitoes, however, there were none ; the great 
 attraction that evening was the young officer, 
 who, as we have said, was reclining on one 
 of the seats, amidst the profusion of scarlet 
 geraniums. 
 
 The faces of all the officers who have been 
 any time at Gibraltar, soon become familiar to 
 the small number of persons composing the 
 society on the Rock. The new arrival, then, 
 being exceedingly good-looking — very fair — 
 with blue eyes, and an abundant crop of 
 light hair, caused no small sensation amongst 
 the Andalusian ladies of the promenade, who
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 217 
 
 usually possess the blackest possible hair, with 
 a complexion of an olive hue, under which the 
 blood flows deep, giving a peculiar damask 
 colour to the cheeks. The contrast pleased 
 them. Even the English ladies, the wives 
 and daughters of the officers of the garrison, 
 stared at the new arrival, without recognising 
 in him an old friend with a new face ; which, 
 however, he was. The old adage was realized 
 to the very letter. Who was it? Who was 
 the possessor of the blue eyes and golden locks ? 
 No other than Philip Augustus Filagree, our 
 old friend, the Muffin-worrier ! At the time 
 of the accident at the Battery, he had been 
 dreadfully burned about the face, which was, as 
 has been stated, marked with the small-pox, 
 and had been so from his boyhood. His 
 features, however, were naturally very hand- 
 some; a new skin had now replaced the old 
 macadamized one, and his face had become 
 fair and spotless ; and, if the Muffin, in former 
 vol. I. L
 
 218 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 days, had been a lady-killer in his own country, 
 he now made his debut, whitewashed, we may 
 say, to kill the fair of Andalusia. It was whis- 
 pered, that of all the Spanish ladies that day on 
 the promenade, the Lopez was the only one 
 who did not show any curiosity about the new 
 arrival: the metamorphosis was so great that 
 even Harney, who was in the Donna's retinue, 
 did not recognise her old acquaintance. The 
 poor fellow, who had but that day got out for 
 the first time, was not in a condition to profit 
 much by the admiration that was lavished upon 
 him, and was delighted to escape from the 
 Alameda, and go in search of his friend. 
 
 Cromwell, as we have seen, had caught the 
 fever, and was taken into hospital ; but, by this 
 time, the scourge had spent its fury, and 
 nearly disappeared. There had been no fresh 
 cases ; and the inhabitants congratulated them- 
 selves that it had done its work j but the 
 hospitals were still full, and our hero, although
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 219 
 
 in a state of convalescence, was not yet pro- 
 nounced sufficiently well to leave the ward. 
 When the Muffin presented himself, even 
 Cromwell hardly knew him. He instantly 
 began to inquire about Harney, of whom he 
 had heard no news. His attack had been so 
 violent that it was not deemed prudent to tell 
 him anything which might in the least affect 
 his nerves ; he was, therefore, perfectly thunder- 
 struck at hearing of the calamities which had 
 happened to her family ; the death of Higgins, 
 and the disgrace of Serjeant Crosbie ; and he 
 swore that he would bring O'Toole to an 
 account as soon as he recovered. 
 
 On leaving his friend, Filagree went directly 
 to Donna Lopez — the entree of whose house 
 he had, and there found Harney, who, having 
 only lately been told that Cromwell was suffer- 
 ing from the fever, was so delighted at hearing 
 a good account of him, that, for the mo- 
 ment, she lost her presence of mind, and, by 
 
 L 2
 
 220 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 her manner, revealed to Filagree that which he 
 had often suspected — namely, that Harney was 
 exceedingly attached to Cromwell. She wished 
 to be allowed to visit him, and asked Filagree 
 to accompany her to the hospital, but this, he 
 would not hear of. He had sufficient discern- 
 ment to see that a visit from the girl, at that 
 time, might materially retard his friend's re- 
 covery : and accordingly made the best excuse he 
 could, and left her, apparently in better spirits. 
 
 On that day week, Crosbie loaded his fire- 
 lock with two balls, determined to shoot either 
 O'Toole or Colonel Flint. The non-commissioned 
 officer's call, or first parade horn, had sounded, 
 and the barrack- square was crowded with the 
 men, hastening towards their private parades, 
 previously to the "Assembly" sounding. Suddenly, 
 the report of a firelock was heard, followed by 
 an exclamation from O'Toole, who fell to the 
 ground.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 22 L 
 
 In the next moment, Crosbie came forward 
 and gave himself up, declaring that he had 
 had his revenge; that his intention was to 
 shoot Colonel Flint, had he made his appearance 
 first ; but he had determined that one or the 
 other should fall, and was ready to go to the 
 guard-room, — to which he was immediately 
 marched off. 
 
 As the morning gun boomed from the sum- 
 mit of the Rock, the bugles and drums belonging 
 to the different corps in garrison sounded the 
 " Turn-out," and the officers and men off duty 
 might be seen repairing to their respective 
 parades, or places of rendezvous; but, whilst the 
 ordinary routine of calling the roll, inspecting 
 the squads and companies, and other details 
 were in progress, one individual belonging to 
 that garrison was employed in quite a different 
 manner. That individual was John Crosbie.
 
 222 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 Condemned to death by the sentence of a ge- 
 neral court-martial, he had been removed to the 
 prison in the military Provost — and had spent 
 the two hours before gun-fire in prayer, with the 
 chaplain to the forces. In consequence of the 
 excellent character which the prisoner had always 
 borne in the regiment, but more particularly on 
 account of the expose of the tyranny of the 
 Adjutant and the Colonel of his regiment, which 
 our hero — who had come out of hospital at all 
 risks to himself, boldly and openly stated to the 
 court, in direct defiance of Colonel Flint, Crosbie, 
 although condemned to be shot, was also re- 
 commended to mercy. 
 
 The worthy and excellent chaplain had been 
 unceasing in his attentions to the prisoner, ever 
 since his condemnation, and had done every 
 thing to prepare him for his end ; for, although 
 the court had recommended the prisoner to 
 mercy, it was generally supposed that there was 
 but little hope for him. As it happened, he
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 223 
 
 had not hit O'Toole ; the ball cut the cloth of 
 the sleeve of his jacket, but did no further 
 mischief; he was, therefore, more frightened 
 than hurt by the discharge of Crosbie's musket. 
 But the crime was the same, and, in a military 
 point of view, the greatest which he could 
 possibly commit ; and further, as there had been 
 of late some very gross cases of insubordination 
 and breach of military discipline, the Governor 
 felt it his duty to order the sentence of the 
 court to be carried into effect — and the chaplain 
 was instructed to inform the condemned that 
 there was no hope for him 
 
 The night before his execution, Cromwell 
 had a long conversation with the prisoner. 
 Crosbie earnestly recommended Harney to his 
 kindness. "Had I," said he, " thought more 
 of her unprotected state, I should have stayed 
 my hand from firing on O'Toole ; but I could 
 not brook disgrace; I have been maddened 
 ever since." Here he passed his hand across
 
 224 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 his brow, while a gleam of mingled fierceness 
 and despair shot through his eyes. " But," he 
 continued, " she is now left friendless ; the very 
 means by which I meant to deliver her from 
 persecution, will leave her in the power of that 
 villain." 
 
 " Crosbie," said our hero, " I swear to you, 
 as to a man about to appear before his Maker, 
 to protect Harney. If that alone is on your 
 mind, rest satisfied. I will watch over her — 
 respect her, act for her." 
 
 The report of the morning gun was the 
 signal for the chaplain to take his leave, and 
 for the prisoner to prepare himself for his 
 execution. He had always been a pattern of 
 neatness and cleanliness ; his appointments were 
 brighter than those of any other man, and on 
 that morning he was even more careful than 
 usual. When he had completed washing and 
 shaving, he was handcuffed, and marched from 
 the Provost prison.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 225 
 
 Half way down the descent which leads to 
 the South Port gate, he overtook his coffin, 
 placed upon a cart: he was desired to follow 
 in rear, and the cart moved on. By the time 
 the prisoner, preceded by his coffin, had reached 
 the gate, the heads of the leading regiment 
 of those which were quartered in the town 
 range made its appearance, and all followed in 
 procession. Slowly and solemnly, and moving 
 to the Dead March, did that procession wind its 
 way along the steeps, to its melancholy end. 
 
 The morning was heavenly ; the perfume of 
 the myrtle and geraniums, which, on ordinary 
 occasions, never failed to intoxicate the senses, 
 lost their sweetness upon that thoughtful cortege. 
 Perfectly unruffled, and resigned to his fate, 
 with a firm and dignified bearing, did Crosbie 
 follow the fatal cart to its melancholy goal. 
 Once he had felt unmanned, but it was only 
 momentarily; he fancied that, in passing one 
 of the embrasures, he had seen the face of 
 
 L 3
 
 226 CROMWELL DOOLAN j OR, 
 
 Harney, and turned to look back. The huge 
 mouth of an enormous mortar was all he could 
 discern. A tear trembled for an instant upon 
 his eyelids, but he dashed it quickly away ; as 
 quickly, recovered his self-possession, and 
 endeavoured to bend his thoughts upon another 
 world. 
 
 On reaching the plateau, or table-land, 
 overlooking the Strait, they found the regi- 
 ments quartered in the south already formed 
 up, making half of the hollow square, the 
 remainder of which was to be formed by the 
 troops from the north. The whole line of the 
 African hills lay enveloped in a mist, w T hich 
 the first rays of the rising sun were about to 
 dispel. That sun, the prisoner was not fated 
 to look upon ; it would gild no day for him ; 
 it had already set upon his existence. 
 
 As soon as the regiments from the north had 
 taken up their position, the cart, the coffin, and 
 the prisoner, followed by his guard, were marched
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 227 
 
 into the centre : the coffin was taken from the 
 cart, and placed upon the ground, and Crosbie 
 was directed to kneel beside it. The Town 
 Major then advanced to the centre, touched his 
 hat to the commanding officer of the parade, 
 and read aloud the sentence of the court- 
 martial. Solemn silence pervaded the ranks ; 
 not a breath of air agitated the water of the 
 sea below them, which appeared of a sombre 
 grey. A slight murmur, for the instant, was 
 heard among the assembled forces, when it 
 was proclaimed that the recommendation to 
 mercy could not be admitted : Crosbie was to 
 suffer death. Twelve men of the company 
 to which he belonged were marched to the 
 front, and received the word to load. A 
 handkerchief was bound over Crosbie's eyes, 
 and he was directed to kneel on his coffin. 
 These, the last commands he would ever receive 
 on this earth, he obeyed with the same soldier- 
 like bearing he had at all times maintained : no
 
 228 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 sign of tremor or nervousness agitated his 
 muscular frame. A private signal was then 
 made to the sergeant commanding the firing- 
 party, and seven bullets passed through his 
 body, which, for several seconds, lay quivering 
 across the coffin, and then rolled upon the 
 earth. 
 
 As the report of the fire-arms reverberated 
 along the Rock, and reached that spot where, 
 for a moment, poor Crosbie's thoughts had 
 been brought back to this world, a piercing 
 shriek might have been heard by any one who 
 had been near; but it died away unheeded. 
 The troops then marched past the body, in single 
 rank, the bands of the different regiments play- 
 ing the Dead March in Saul. Suddenly, the 
 rays of the rising sun poured a flood of gold 
 over the scene ; the blue sky came out clearly, 
 and was reflected upon the glassy surface of 
 the Mediterranean : the veil of mist which hung 
 over the African coast was dispelled, and the
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 229 
 
 fine lines of her mountains became distinctly 
 visible. The regiments then formed into 
 columns, and marched to their respective 
 quarters, the bands playing gay and lively airs. 
 
 It is now time to recur to Harney, who had 
 heard, by means of a woman who supplied the 
 family with fruit, that a military execution was 
 to take place. Such an event had not for years 
 been witnessed on the Rock, and it therefore 
 caused much excitement. Some misgivings 
 had come over Harney's mind ; something that 
 told her all was not right : she trembled to ask 
 any questions, but a casual visit of Filagree to 
 Donna Lopez gave her that opportunity, which 
 she now did not often have. From him, then, 
 she heard £he tragical fate of all that was near 
 and dear to her ; the death of Mrs. Higgins 
 in the fever ; that of the Sergeant, to whom she 
 was much attached, and now, the awful fate that
 
 230 CROMWELL DOOLAN J OR, 
 
 awaited Crosbie, and which he was to meet the 
 following morning at daybreak. 
 
 She was determined, if possible, to see 
 Crosbie, but in this she was doomed to be 
 disappointed. Filagree could not get her leave 
 to do so ; but added that Cromwell had 
 returned to his duty, and, at the moment, 
 was actually on the Land-port guard. To 
 Cromwell she went. 
 
 She found him walking on one of the bat- 
 teries, and confessed to him that she was very 
 miserable; that Donna Lopez, who formerly 
 had been so kind, now treated her cruelly ; 
 and that she could not expect to remain 
 with her long, as the lady had shown herself 
 determined to worry her until she got her out 
 of the house. 
 
 Before our hero parted from Harney Crosbie 
 that evening, he renewed his promise of pro- 
 tection. He would willingly have married her,
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 231 
 
 had circumstances permitted, but at present it 
 was out of the question. He could not afford 
 to leave the army ; he disliked his family, and 
 had never once seen them since he joined his 
 regiment, so that he could look for no assist- 
 ance from his father : it was not likely that he 
 would sanction his leaving the service, which he 
 had but just entered, and to marry — whom ? 
 The daughter, or rather the supposed daughter, 
 of a sergeant's wife in his regiment. 
 
 It so happened that the sentinels mounted 
 over the Provost prison were furnished by the 
 Land-port guard, and Cromwell immediately 
 went off to visit Crosbie in his cell. That 
 interview we have already given. After he had 
 taken leave of Crosbie, and when the moon rose 
 above the rock, cast its silvery shadow across 
 the Bay of Gibraltar, and tipped with light the 
 massive walls of that prison which contained the 
 unfortunate man, he found his way, once more, 
 to the battery on which he had taken leave of
 
 232 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 Harney. There he paced up and down, forming 
 plans for her more effectual protection in case 
 of necessity. So absorbed was he in the subject, 
 that he had no idea he had passed the greater 
 part of the night ; nor was he aware of the 
 hour, until aroused by the reveille, sounded off 
 by the bugles and drums of the different corps, 
 to warn the soldiers of the garrison that they 
 were to assemble and witness the execution of 
 one of their comrades. 
 
 Poor Harney ! She it was who uttered that 
 piercing shriek, as the report of the muskets 
 told her that all was over. She had not closed 
 her eyes that night, and the reveille that warned 
 the soldiers to turn out, was a signal to her to 
 steal from the villa of Donna Lopez, and to 
 wend her melancholy way to the cluster of 
 geraniums already described, and amidst which 
 the instinctive glance of Crosbie had discovered 
 her. 
 
 Sick at heart did she trace her way back to
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 233 
 
 the Donna's house, and regained her chamber, 
 unheeded and unperceived. Throwing herself 
 upon her bed, she despairingly thought over the 
 extraordinary events of the past three weeks. 
 Misfortune upon misfortune had fallen on her. 
 Mingled with grief at the death of her reputed 
 parent, was deep regret at the loss she had 
 suffered in not having been near her at the last. 
 She had reason to think that a secret of great 
 importance had died with the wife of the 
 sergeant, and that that secret related to herself. 
 Now, she was left alone in the world, almost 
 friendless; for, though fully aware that Crom- 
 well would do all in his power to assist her, she 
 knew perfectly well that his means were very 
 limited, and how dangerous it would be to trust 
 entirely to his generosity. She felt that she 
 could love him ; indeed, he was becoming daily 
 less and less indifferent ; but she was aware 
 that there was an inseparable barrier between 
 them. Cromwell, with manly frankness and
 
 234 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 honourable feeling, had, in the most delicate 
 manner, explained that he could never be more 
 than a friend to her. 
 
 She awoke ill : a shivering fit was suc- 
 ceeded by the most violent head-ache : in a 
 word, she had caught a severe cold ; the ex- 
 citement — the early sortie — the misery of mind, 
 all combined, threw her into a raging fever. 
 
 When she came to herself, after many days of 
 darkness, she was lying in a small lodging-house, 
 attended by the wife of a private soldier. She 
 asked where she was; but her attendant, who 
 was a respectable and kind person, at first 
 forbade her to talk ; until, finding her mind too 
 anxious to rest unsatisfied, informed her that 
 she had been removed from the house of Donna 
 Lopez during her first attack of delirium, under 
 the charge of a Spanish woman : and that Mr. 
 Cromwell Doolan, having heard of her removal, 
 had visited the lodging, dismissed the Spanish 
 woman, and placed her there as her nurse.
 
 LTFE IN THE ARMY. 235 
 
 On hearing this, Harney's pale cheeks were 
 overspread with a blush, and she lay thinking 
 of her sad position. Her family dead— her 
 persecutor near — her means of subsistence gone 
 — no one to look to but a young officer — kind, 
 most kind, it was true ; but how unfit a pro- 
 tector ! — and what would not be thought of his 
 visits and his attentions ! She was still so weak, 
 that she could not think long at a time ; and, 
 in the midst of her reflections, she fell into a 
 doze, which lasted till the evening. When that 
 arrived, she was awakened by the voice of 
 Cromwell, earnest in his inquiries with the 
 nurse as to her state. 
 
 Unwilling to omit the opportunity of thanking 
 her benefactor, Harney tried to speak ; but, 
 seeing Cromwell's anxious and affectionate 
 expression of face, she could not find utterance 
 for her feelings : the words died away upon her 
 lips, and she sobbed for many minutes ; whilst 
 Cromwell, was almost as much affected.
 
 236 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 Begging her to be composed, and taking 
 her almost transparent hand, which she made 
 no effort to release, he told her that fear of 
 infection had been the pretence set forth by 
 her Spanish mistress for removing her from 
 the house ; but he believed that, in reality, 
 the husband of Donna Lopez had arrived 
 from the Havannah, and did not wish that 
 she should remain. But the case was quite 
 the contrary, for Don Lopez had been much 
 struck with Harney's wonderful beauty, and 
 had, unluckily, spoken of it in such unmea- 
 sured terms, that his wife had become suddenlv 
 jealous. Filagree, too ; his occupation was gone. 
 He had fallen desperately in love with another 
 Spanish lady, of superior attractions to Donna 
 Lopez, who only required a fitting opportunity 
 to get rid of Harney. This occurred sooner than 
 she expected; for, the day after the cigar- 
 merchant's return to the Rock, the poor girl was 
 taken ill.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 237 
 
 " But," continued Cromwell, " let not misera- 
 ble thoughts impede your recovery. Trust to 
 me ; I will arrange for you to return to England, 
 should you wish it ; and, meantime, I will act 
 by you as if you were my sister." 
 
 Youth, and a good constitution, were in her 
 favour, and, in a few days, save an additional 
 shade of paleness, Harney was as well as usual. 
 Cromwell's visits did not cease. How could it 
 be otherwise ? Much he endured from his 
 thoughtless messmates; many taunts, hard to 
 be borne, from boon companions. 
 
 Could Harney do otherwise than love him 
 with all her soul, and feel that the loss of all 
 was now made up ? — Bright beyond all earthly 
 moments are those in which affection dawns. 
 Every evening, Cromwell would sit with her, 
 upon a terrace, filled with orange-trees, which 
 looked full upon the placid bay; whilst her 
 nurse took that opportunity of arranging her 
 little household concerns, and the friends were
 
 238 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 left free from all restraint. Sometimes, they 
 would talk : they were often silent ; hand in 
 hand they sate, night after night, in that 
 serene clime, where love lurks dangerously 
 in the very air, and each succeeding night 
 found them more unwilling to separate. 
 
 Morning after morning did Harney resolve to 
 speak to her kind friend, respecting her de- 
 parture; and, when evening came, her heart 
 failed her. Cromwell it was who broke the ice. 
 Suddenly rising, he exclaimed, abruptly, 
 " Harney ! this will never do ! — this must not 
 be : I cannot go on thus : we must part." 
 
 Harney, who had turned very faint when he 
 first addressed her, felt relieved now that he had 
 spared her the misery of first entering on the 
 subject. She knew that she could not remain 
 with him legitimately, and her fine sense of 
 discrimination told her that their continued 
 meetings were dangerous both to her peace of 
 mind and honor, for, once having confessed her
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 239 
 
 attachment, their sense of duty was the only 
 barrier between them. She had also learned, 
 from her nurse, that their meetings had already 
 been the theme of conversation, and that, 
 sooner or later, O 'Toole would turn this to his 
 advantage. 
 
 Cromwell then proceeded to tell her that all 
 was arranged for her departure ; that a berth 
 was engaged on board a merchant-ship about to 
 sail for England — that he had perfectly satisfied 
 himself of the integrity of the captain, and that 
 she would also have the services of a sergeant's 
 wife who was going home in the same vessel. 
 Harney could only feel the deepest gratitude for 
 his noble conduct ; noble, indeed, for Harney, 
 dearly as she loved Cromwell, loved as a young 
 and innocent girl, and knew not the fierce war 
 that passion waged in Cromwell's bosom, nor 
 the strong temptation of retaining her near him. 
 The remembrance of his oath to Crosbie assisted 
 our hero's own sense of right ; and, in his eyes,
 
 240 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 her very innocence and love were her safe- 
 guards. 
 
 We will not dwell on their parting. Three 
 days after the interview above noted, she found 
 herself on board, and Captain Cuddy was 
 charged with a letter to Colonel Scabbart, to 
 whom he was to take Harney immediately on 
 his arrival in London.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 241 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 It has a strange, quick jar upon the ear, 
 That cocking of a pistol, when you know 
 A moment more will bring the sight to bear 
 Upon your person, twelve yards off or so ; 
 
 A gentlemanly distance, not too near ; — 
 
 ***** 
 
 DON JUAN. 
 
 We must now apologize to the reader for 
 allowing so much time to have elapsed before 
 introducing him to so important a personage as 
 Cromwell's dog, Carlo ; and we are the more in 
 duty bound so to do, having already made 
 honourable mention of the dog Fusbos, to the 
 
 vol. I. m
 
 242 CROMWELL DOOLAN J OR, 
 
 total neglect of that of our hero. Dog Carlo 
 was a pointer, a cross between the Russian and 
 the English breeds, very high couraged, and 
 possessed of great powers and strength. No 
 dog could do more work than Carlo ; and, 
 on one occasion, while with his original pos- 
 sessor, on the Wicklow mountains, a number 
 of pointers and setters had all to be tied up, 
 and the work was performed by Carlo alone. 
 He was of a very unusual colour — a pale 
 brick-dust, bordering on a red, and, what was 
 the more extraordinary, his eyes, his claws, 
 and everything about him were of the same 
 shade. He had originally belonged to a poacher, 
 in the wilds of the far West. O'Toole had 
 remarked his wonderful strength ; a sovereign 
 proved too great a temptation to the poacher, 
 and he became O'Toole's property. Cruelly did 
 he ill-treat the poor brute : he would kick him 
 in the ribs, and even in the head, whenever 
 he got into a passion. The poor animal would
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 243 
 
 only utter a moan, expressive of resignation 
 to the tyranny of his master, and take refuge 
 under his bed, where if his rage had not spent 
 itself, he would flank at him with a long hunt- 
 ing whip — poor Carlo making himself as small 
 as possible, under the furthest corner. 
 
 In spite of all this ill-treatment, Carlo was so 
 faithful to his master, that he would not allow 
 any stranger to enter his room ; and, on one 
 occasion, when his servant had been sent to the 
 guard-room for some misconduct, and another 
 man had entered for the purpose of sweeping out 
 the apartment, the dog seized upon the brush, 
 and would not allow him to use it until 
 OToole came into the room and gave him, 
 as a reward for his guardianship, a kick in 
 the jaw, which prevented the poor animal 
 from feeding for a week. 
 
 On OToole's embarking for Gibraltar, he left 
 him to his fate in the barrack-yard. The 
 dog rushed down after the detachment, and 
 
 m 2
 
 244 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 was left howling on the beach ; where he was 
 found, three days after, by our hero, who took 
 him home. Carlo soon found how much he 
 had gained by the exchange: nothing could 
 exceed his attachment to Cromwell, and no 
 money would have tempted our hero to part 
 with him. Next to Harney, he loved no one 
 thing so much as his dog ; indeed, it was 
 difficult to say which he loved best. 
 
 Carlo had an extraordinary manner of grin- 
 ning, and showing his teeth ; at the same time 
 wriggling his body about after the most absurd 
 fashion ; and if our hero pretended to pity him, 
 as if he had extracted a thorn from his foot, he 
 would lie upon his back, and make noises, which 
 meant to express that he was exceedingly sorry 
 for himself. 
 
 There were dogs of all sorts belonging to the 
 officers of Cromwell's regiment, and most of the 
 men had them also, chiefly French poodles, which 
 they taught all sorts of tricks, this description of
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 245 
 
 dog acquiring them very easily. Every man in the 
 band had a large white poodle, and ingenuity 
 had evidently been stretched to the utmost 
 to shave them into the most varied and fantastic 
 forms. Some were like miniature lions, and all 
 had moustaches. 
 
 Dog Carlo was very aristocratic in his ideas, 
 and never condescended to glance at a private 
 soldier's dog: indeed, the men's poodles, ap- 
 parently, knew their places perfectly, and care- 
 fully avoided going near an officer or his dog. 
 
 Having effected this important introduction 
 of Carlo to the reader, we must now return to 
 his master. Nothing could exceed Colonel 
 Flint's hatred of Cromwell ; he could not forgive 
 the fact of his having regularly bearded him, 
 by speaking out, in the manner he had done, in 
 defence of Crosbie, and that in the presence 
 of all the members of the general court-martial 
 assembled for that poor fellow's trial. He 
 burned to be revenged upon the " young dog,"
 
 246 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 as he called him ; and, although he pretended 
 not to have given the transaction a thought, 
 there was something so obsequious in his altered 
 manners to Cromwell, that it awakened his 
 suspicions. He took the greatest care to 
 do his duty in the strictest possible manner. 
 The monster, therefore, although constantly on 
 the look-out, could never catch him tripping, or 
 find anything in his conduct to lay hold of. 
 Accident, at last, gave him, as he thought, that 
 opportunity which all his endeavours could not 
 of themselves produce. 
 
 Cromwell was on the ragged staff-guard, and 
 Colonel Flint happened to be the field officer of 
 the day ; his duty being to visit the guards 
 by day and night. On going his rounds by day, 
 observing that our hero was on that particular 
 guard, he at once conceived that the opportunity 
 he had long awaited had at length arrived. 
 H.M.S. Vengeance was lying in the bay, and 
 the ward-room officers were on that day to
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 247 
 
 dine with his regiment. They would embark at 
 night, from the steps, at the Ragged Staff 
 Guard, where their boats were to await them. 
 It was the custom for officers to visit their 
 friends, occasionally, w T hen on guard ; most 
 likely, therefore, some of the naval officers 
 w T ould be sure to find their way into Cromwell's 
 guard-room, and the Colonel thought that, 
 in all probability, they would leave the convivial 
 mess at a late hour, and would not object to 
 a glass of "cold-with-out" en passant. Some- 
 thing might turn up — some " row" — something 
 might give him an opportunity of reporting 
 Cromwell : he determined therefore not to turn 
 his guard out until as late at night, or rather, as 
 early the next morning, as he possibly could, and 
 he got O 'Toole to accompany him, by way of a 
 witness. 
 
 It so happened that, had he arrived before 
 one o'clock, he might have found several officers 
 of the two services, not positively inebriated,
 
 248 CROMWELL doolan; or, 
 
 but exceedingly jolly, and rather more noisy 
 than was quite correct ; but, unluckily for him, 
 he arrived too late. The naval officers had 
 departed — not drunk, in wheel-barrows, as Peter 
 Simple saw them, but in their boats, and 
 the military had found the way to their respec- 
 tive quarters long before the Colonel started 
 to go his rounds. It was nearly two o'clock 
 before the sentinel at the Ragged Staff guard- 
 room challenged " Who goes there ?" and 
 received the answer " grand rounds." The 
 Colonel had ascertained, through O'Toole, who 
 had just encountered one of the party on his 
 way home, that Cromwell had had visitors, but 
 that they had all departed, he himself being the 
 last of them. Still, although the birds had 
 flown, the Colonel fancied there was a chance 
 that our hero himself might have imbibed more 
 than was correct, and, accordingly, he suddenly 
 presented himself before the guard-room, de- 
 termined to examine him closely.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 249 
 
 Unluckily, Cromwell, in his hurry to turn 
 out, upset his candle, and extinguished it. He 
 had left his sword, ready drawn, on the guard- 
 room table ; but, in the dark, he tumbled over a 
 chair, and then began to grope about to find it ; 
 but this he could not do until the bugler came 
 to his assistance, with a light. By this time, 
 the guard had " fallen in," and the sergeant had 
 to receive the grand rounds, and had presented 
 arms to the Colonel, a duty which should 
 have been performed by Cromwell, who now T 
 made his appearance, and was just going to state 
 the above facts, when Colonel Flint interrupted 
 him by roaring out to him to put his guard 
 through the " manual and platoon" exercises. 
 
 It is the custom in the service, should there 
 be any doubt as to whether a soldier is sober 
 or not, to put him through some part of his 
 exercise, which is called " proving him." If he 
 can do that, and perform it steadily, he is fit for 
 duty, and, therefore, not intoxicated. Colonel 
 
 M 3
 
 250 CROMWELL DOOLAN J OR, 
 
 Flint, however, hoped that our hero would fail 
 in giving some one or more of the words of 
 command, and that hence he would be able 
 to report him. In the manual and platoon 
 exercise, much stress is laid on giving the com- 
 mands exactly in the order in which they follow 
 in the book; taking especial care to preserve 
 the proper sequence. With his witness at his 
 elbow, then, the Colonel stood, awaiting Crom- 
 well's execution of his commands. 
 
 In the quietest possible manner, our hero pro- 
 ceeded to obey them. He put his guard through 
 the manual exercise without making the slightest 
 mistake ; one order followed the other, just as in 
 the book. He then came to the platoon exer- 
 cise, which is that part of the firelock exercise 
 appertaining to firing. At Gibraltar, all the 
 men on guard have their muskets loaded with 
 ball ; and this Colonel Flint, in his anger, quite 
 overlooked when he ordered our hero to put his 
 guard through that exercise.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 251 
 
 The first word of command in the platoon 
 exercise is, " Ready !" the next, " Present !" the 
 third," Fire!" Every man's eye was directed along 
 the barrel of his firelock, and every piece was loaded 
 with ball cartridge. Cromwell, having given the 
 two first, stopped, and, touching his cap to Colonel 
 Flint, very coolly, but in the most respectful 
 manner possible, demanded if he should give the 
 word to "Fire?" The Colonel and his 
 Adjutant were, at the moment, directly in front 
 of the guard ; the consequence, therefore, had 
 our hero obeyed his command, would have been, 
 that ten or a dozen bullets would have gone 
 clean through the bodies of those two heroes. 
 The Colonel saw how he was defeated, and, 
 desiring Cromwell to " turn in" his guard, 
 sneaked off, in the expressive phraseology of 
 Young England, " sold." 
 
 As soon as Cromwell was relieved, he went to 
 Filagree, and detailed to him the whole proceed- 
 ing, explaining how he had been treated by the
 
 252 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 Colonel. He was naturally exceedingly annoyed, 
 and asked his friend's advice as to what steps he 
 should take; — -whether he should bring the 
 affair to a court-martial, or whether he should 
 demand a Court of Inquiry. 
 
 But, from calling for either one or the other, 
 or indeed, from taking any notice at all of the 
 affair, Filagree had sufficient foresight to dis- 
 suade him. He maintained that the Colonel 
 was well " sold," and that that should be quite 
 satisfaction enough for our hero, who could pro- 
 duce no evidence that he had done anything of 
 malice prepense ; he had a perfect right, if 
 he had any suspicions that the officer on guard 
 was not sober, or that he was likely in any way to 
 neglect his duty, to bring the offender to convic- 
 tion. As soon as Cromwell's wrath had some- 
 what subsided, his own good sense convinced 
 him that his friend's advice was correct, and on 
 considering the case calmly, he saw how 
 dangerous it was to bring charges against his
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 253 
 
 commanding officer, without having the clearest 
 possible evidence to convict him. 
 
 Cromwell, moreover, had his suspicions that 
 O 'Toole was at the bottom of it, and that it was 
 at his instigation that the Colonel had made the 
 attempt to criminate him : he determined, on 
 the first opportunity, to haul him over the coals. 
 That opportunity was not long wanting; for, 
 that very night, at mess, it was afforded. 
 
 O'Toole, who had drank too much wine 
 began holding forth after dinner, and swagger- 
 ing exceedingly about his succes with various 
 fair ladies, and went so far as to name more 
 than one woman who had been weak enough to 
 trust her fair fame into such hands. Unfortu- 
 nately, there are men to be found who will 
 sometimes descant upon the subject of their 
 loves at a mess-table, and there are even some 
 who have the bad taste to mention the names of 
 their fair enslavers. Cromwell, who was always the 
 champion of the sex on these occasions, said
 
 254 CROMWELL DOOLAN \ OR, 
 
 nothing for the moment although his blood 
 boiled within him, but when the fellow pro- 
 ceeded to declare, and accompanied the declara- 
 tion with an oath, that he had once seen 
 Harney Crosbie, (for of her he was speaking 
 although Cromwell did not know it at first), 
 enter our hero's room at Devonport, he could 
 bear no more, and, jumping up, before every 
 one present, exclaimed that he should account 
 to him in another place, and left the room, 
 adding, O'Toole was the greatest scoundrel on 
 the face of the earth. Finding that he got no 
 sympathy from any one present, O'Toole soon 
 after left the room. All were, in fact, delighted 
 that Cromwell had pulled him up : he was a 
 bully and a coward ; on many occasions he had 
 "pocketed" insults in presence of the whole 
 mess ; he was universally detested, and now, 
 they said that he must fight or leave the 
 regiment. 
 
 The insult he had received from our hero
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 2)5 
 
 brought him to his senses in a moment : he 
 knew that he must fight Cromwell, unless he 
 could get the commanding officer to interfere 
 and prevent the meeting ; so, off he went, at 
 once, to Colonel Flint's quarters, and tried to 
 enlist him on his side. This, however, the 
 Colonel, bad as he was, would not do ; he was a 
 brave man, and saw something so mean and 
 dirty in O 'Toole's appeal to him, that he at 
 once declined interfering in the affair, unless 
 O 'Toole reported it to him officially, as his 
 commanding officer. 
 
 Finding that Colonel Flint would not help 
 him out of the scrape, there was nothing left for 
 him but to call our hero out ; and he went off 
 to the only friend he had on the Rock, an 
 assistant surgeon. Mr. Splint was a most 
 obnoxious person ; had been himself a principal 
 on one occasion of the sort, and had performed 
 the post of second several times, besides having 
 repeatedly acted professionally. He was quite
 
 256 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 au fait in every thing relating to duelling, a 
 practice in his time much more in vogue than 
 at present. Nothing gave Dr. Splint greater 
 pleasure than an affair of this kind; he cared 
 little in what capacity he was required : so long 
 as he was concerned, to him it was a matter of 
 perfect indifference whether he was to be 
 principal, second, or medical man : he was a 
 scion of the O 'Trigger school. 
 
 Accordingly, when O'Toole, pale as ashes, 
 presented himself before Splint and stated his 
 case, in such a way as he thought might give 
 him a chance of gaining over the medico to 
 arrange the affair amicably, he was cut short in 
 a moment by Splint's shaking him by the hand, 
 and declaring that he " should be delighted to 
 be his second ; that the case was a perfectly 
 clear one, — there was no alternative for him but 
 to fight Mr. Doolan;" desiring him to make 
 himself perfectly easy, for he would call upon 
 Mr. Doolan directly, arrange the meeting for
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 257 
 
 the following morning, with his second ; that 
 there would be no occasion for any other 
 medical man to attend, for he could perfectly 
 perform both duties himself. In affairs of that 
 kind, he observed, the fewer persons cognizant 
 of them the better; and, once more shaking 
 O 'Toole by the hand, he took his departure, 
 telling him to cheer up, and that he would be at 
 his quarters as soon as he had made all the 
 arrangements. 
 
 O 'Toole then slunk off to his room, to wait, 
 in a state of paralysing agony, the effect of his 
 second's visit to our hero. 
 
 Cromwell was consulting with Filagree, as to 
 whether he thought O'Toole intended to resent 
 the insult he had put upon him or not : his 
 patience was nearly exhausted, and he was in 
 the act of reaching down a horse-whip, when a 
 knock was heard at his door, and Dr. Splint 
 entered, and announced himself by name. Our 
 hero did not know him personally, but he knew
 
 258 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 the man by reputation, and at once divining the 
 object of his visit, introduced him to Filagree, 
 as his " friend," and left the room. 
 
 All being arranged, Splint took his leave of 
 Filagree, and repaired to OToole's quarters, 
 where he found the Adjutant more dead than 
 alive ; but, putting it down to the score of 
 nervousness or want of practice in such matters, 
 he took very little notice of his dejection, and 
 told him that all was arranged : they were, he 
 said, to be at the bay-side barrier, by gun-fire 
 the following morning, and he would have his 
 own pistols, a famous pair, made by Joe 
 Manton ; and he must keep himself perfectly 
 cool, for he might depend upon his placing him 
 in such a line that he could not fail to hit 
 Doolan the very first shot. He then went on 
 to say that nothing could be more gentleman- 
 like than Mr. Filagree's reception of him ; that 
 he regretted he knew so little of the laws of 
 duelling, or the duty of a second, but said that
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 259 
 
 all this had to be learned, like any other trade ; 
 adding that, " Rome was not built in a day." 
 Again shaking hands, the doctor cautioned his 
 principal to be sure to be in time, adding, 
 that he would find " coffee and pistols for two" 
 at his room, half an hour before gun-fire. 
 
 Filagree, on finding that O 'Toole, contrary to 
 all expectations, intended fight, set to work to 
 second his friend in earnest ; but, so ignorant 
 was our Muffin of what it was necessary for 
 him to do in the affair, that he thought, to be 
 on the safe side, he ought to be well prepared 
 with ammunition. Splint had told him that 
 he would have his own pistols for the parties t 
 fight with, and that he might depend on his 
 having them in perfect order ; but, at the same 
 time, he had observed that, " in case of acci- 
 dent" it was usual for both the seconds to be 
 provided with a case of pistols : accordingly, the 
 Muffin had borrowed one from the regimental 
 armorer. The powder-flask was more than
 
 260 CROMWELL DOOLAN J OR, 
 
 half full of powder, but not thinking that 
 sufficient, " in case of accident, " he took also, 
 Cromwell's, which was nearly full, and con- 
 tained nearly half a pound. He then desired 
 his servant to run two pounds of lead into 
 bullets — fixed a couple of fresh flints in the 
 pistols, and, to make doubly sure, took half- 
 a-dozen spare ones in a flint-case. Such were 
 the ideas held as to the quantity of ammunition 
 requisite for the occasion, by the man into 
 whose hands our hero had committed himself. 
 Had he been going out to a wild-boar chase 
 he could not have made greater prepara- 
 tions. 
 
 O'Toole passed " the coward's night," walk- 
 ing about his room, occasionally throwing 
 himself upon his bed, jumping up again — 
 dozing off for a few seconds at a time, during 
 which he was haunted by the most horrible 
 dreams How often are the events of hours, 
 nay days, weeks and months, comprised in a
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 261 
 
 dream of as many moments ! Chasms, filled 
 with blades of knives, and iron spikes, amongst 
 which snakes, alligators, and all manner of 
 reptiles, writhed : over these he was suspended 
 in a basket, and Sergeant Higgins stood ready 
 to cut the rope ; he saw the strands of the cord 
 cut one by one ; hung by a thread — that was cut, 
 and, with a shout of exultation from Higgins, 
 as the basket fell at the rate of a thousand miles 
 an hour — he awoke. 
 
 Again, he was in a saw-pit, and stood up 
 opposite to Crosbie, who was loading a blunder- 
 bus, and he saw the balls meant for his 
 destruction put in, one by one, until the bell- 
 mouthed barrel of the piece became full to the 
 very muzzle ; the dream suddenly changed, and 
 he found himself in a dark cellar, pursued by 
 Crosbie, who was cutting at him with an axe. 
 At first he managed to hide himself behind the 
 huge barrels and casks in the different compart- 
 ments of the cellars, but these would be shivered
 
 262 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 in an instant. Every stroke which the infuriated 
 Crosbie made at them, his chance of escape 
 became momentarily less and less. Driven 
 from cask to cask, he had reached the further- 
 most corner of the cellar; with a tremendous 
 crash, the last hogshead was splintered to 
 atoms ; Crosbie, with eyes from which fire 
 appeared to flash, and with uplifted arms, held 
 the axe over him ; it gleamed above his head, — 
 it was just going to descend. He started to 
 his feet : — the hand of Splint was on his 
 shoulder ; he awoke, in a cold sweat ; his 
 second had come to drag him forth, on the 
 errand of death ; it was too late even for coffee. 
 Splint had waited some time, but, finding that 
 he did not appear, he was obliged to go in 
 search. 
 
 Our hero passed the night in quite a different 
 manner. He calmly sate down to collect his 
 thoughts. Those thoughts, we need not inform 
 the reader, were almost wholly directed to
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 263 
 
 Harney. He trusted to the exertions of good 
 Colonel Scabbart, to whom he had sent in- 
 structions to get her a situation as governess, or 
 dame de compagnie, in some respectable 
 family. He wrote long letters to both the 
 General and Harney, and sealed them. His 
 income was but small, but his allowance had 
 just been paid into his agent's hands ; he was 
 scarcely a shilling in debt — -what little he did 
 owe, the sale of his effects would liquidate ; the 
 whole of the hundred and fifty pounds he left to 
 Harney ; his watch, his dog, pony, and gun, 
 he left to Filagree. 
 
 Dog Carlo had met with a sad shaking in the 
 morning, from the Sergeant-Major's dog — a 
 huge skew-bald poodle, with wall eyes and large 
 moustaches, and was smarting from the effects of 
 the defeat; intuitively he knew that all was 
 not right. Carlo would not touch the food 
 prepared for him, but crouched at his master's 
 feet, looked up in his face, and whined. These
 
 264 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 marks of affection in the poor brute nearly 
 brought the tears into our hero's eyes ; he tried 
 to cheer him up, but without effect ; the dog 
 left his food untouched, in the corner of the 
 room. 
 
 As soon as Cromwell had completed the 
 disposal of his " little all," he turned into bed, 
 and in five minutes was fast asleep. Once only 
 did he awake — it was his dog, Carlo, that 
 was the cause. He had always slept upon 
 the rug; Cromwell never allowed him to get 
 upon his bed, but on this night he had crept 
 up, and nestled himself close to his master's 
 pillow : a whine which escaped the poor 
 brute awoke him. Finding that it was only 
 Carlo, and that the time for rising had not come, 
 he took the dog into his arms, and was fast 
 asleep in a moment. After a few hours of 
 most refreshing sleep, he got up, dressed him- 
 self, and lighted the spirit-lamp under his coffee- 
 pot, which was boiling by the time that Fila-
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 265 
 
 gree made his appearance. That worthy came 
 in, dressed in a velveteen shooting-jacket, the 
 butt of a horse-pistol projecting from either of 
 the pockets of the skirts, and all the remaining 
 ones crammed brim-full of ammunition. Crom- 
 well could not help smiling as he surveyed his 
 " friend," and quietly asked him if he was going 
 to a boar-hunt ? He then told him how he had 
 disposed of his effects, gave him the letters for 
 Harney and Colonel Scabbart, and received his 
 promise to fulfil faithfully all his requests if ne- 
 cessary. Then, turning the key in the door, they 
 proceeded to the rendezvous agreed upon by the 
 seconds. 
 
 On arriving at the ground, they had to wait 
 some time ; there w T as no appearance of the 
 other parties, and our hero began to have his 
 doubts as to whether they would come. His 
 friend did not agree with him ; he was quite 
 convinced that the blood-thirsty dog, as he 
 
 VOL. i. N
 
 266 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 termed Splint, would not let the Adjutant escape, 
 even were he obliged to administer a dozen 
 drams of brandy to bring his courage to 
 the " sticking-point." Such, in reality, had 
 been the case; and, just as Filagree had 
 done speaking, they descried the pair coming 
 towards them — Mr. Splint having fast hold 
 of OToole, who, either from fright or the 
 effects of the brandy, could scarcely support 
 himself. 
 
 Splint then proceeded to make a mark in the 
 sand with his walking-stick, and, taking that as a 
 point to start from, commenced stepping the 
 regular number of paces. At the completion of 
 the twelfth pace, he made another mark. 
 O 'Toole, who was all the time building on 
 the hope that the distance might be of 
 such a length as to give him some security, 
 was struck with horror when he saw its 
 shortness.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 267 
 
 Splint had stepped his twelve paces, of twenty- 
 one inches each, with such precision, that no 
 doubt was left upon the minds of the beholders 
 as to his proficiency in his favourite art. 
 Nothing could be more miserable and wretched 
 to behold, than the tottering picture that O 'Toole 
 presented when left to himself, and during the 
 time his second was measuring the ground: 
 all hope had fled; the brandy, which, 
 for the time, had propped him up, in an 
 instant lost its effect; his eye became fixed, 
 and fear, of the most abject kind, laid 
 hold upon him. He stood like one bereft of 
 all sense. 
 
 Splint placed his man most carefully, with his 
 back to the sea, and with a post in a direct line 
 behind his adversary, so that he might have the 
 advantage of bringing Cromwell and the post in 
 one line, whereby his aim w T ould be facilitated, 
 and he himself, having the sea behind him, 
 would have every circumstance in his favour. 
 
 N 2
 
 268 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 Thus, from the inexperience of Filagree (and, 
 indeed, of Cromwell, who, although a first- 
 rate shot, had, strange to say, never fired off a 
 pistol in his life), Splint placed his man in the 
 most advantageous manner ; but all was lost 
 upon O'Toole. 
 
 Splint then gave the choice of the pistols to 
 Filagree — who selected one, and placed it in our 
 hero's hands ; the other he gave to the Adjutant, 
 having first set the hair-trigger. No sooner had 
 O'Toole received the weapon, than his agitation 
 became so intolerable, that the pistol went off in 
 his hand, and was very near to lodging its con- 
 tents in the body of his second. Some delay 
 occurred before the pistol could be reloaded, and 
 O'Toole again propped up. At length, all being 
 once more en train, and the pocket-handkerchief 
 — the signal agreed upon — dropped, O'Toole's 
 pistol again went off in his hand, the ball 
 striking within three yards of him : that from 
 our hero's weapon passed through the hat of
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 269 
 
 the Adjutant — who, on feeling that he had been 
 hit somewhere, clapped both hands to his ears, 
 roared out that he was " kilt," and ran clean off 
 the ground. Instantly, Splint rushed at the 
 pistol which O'Toole had let fall in his flight, 
 and hurled it after the fugitive with all the force 
 he could muster, amidst shouts of laughter from 
 Cromwell and Filagree. Volleys of oaths and 
 execrations followed, when Splint came to him- 
 self, and some idea of his wrath may be 
 formed, when it is taken into consideration 
 that it was one of his favourite fifty-guinea 
 Joe Manton pistols that he had let fly after the 
 coward. 
 
 The next day a mess- meeting was called, and 
 the option given to O'Toole to leave the regiment 
 quietly, in consequence of his cowardly conduct, 
 or to stand a Court-martial. He preferred the 
 former to being cashiered, and left for England 
 at once, by the mail packet — regretted by not
 
 270 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 one person in the whole regiment. His depar- 
 ture, indeed, was looked upon as the greatest 
 possible God-send by the poor men over whom 
 he had tyrannized.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 271 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 From Gibraltar's rocky steep 
 Dashing o'er the foaming deep, 
 On sultry Afric's fruitful shore 
 We'd rest at length, our journey o'er. 
 
 Scarcely had the packet in which O'Toole 
 had taken his passage for England disappeared, 
 before the other made its appearance in the bay, 
 and, to the great joy of all, brought out Colonel 
 Bassoon. A brevet had taken place ; Colonel 
 Flint was promoted to the rank of Major- 
 General ; Major and Brevet Lieutenant-Colonel 
 Bassoon succeeded to the command of the 
 regiment, and our hero became a Lieutenant.
 
 272 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 One of the very first acts of the new Lieut.- 
 Colonel was to appoint Cromwell as his Ad- 
 jutant ; a change of which all parties immediately 
 felt the good effects. The duty went on smoothly 
 under Colonel Bassoon's mild but strictly mili- 
 tary regime, and the regiment soon returned to 
 its former admirable system of discipline. Cor- 
 poral punishment was rarely resorted to, and 
 drunkenness, which had spread to a fearful 
 extent, almost entirely disappeared. 
 
 About this time an order came out for the 
 substitution of a new system for preserving the 
 records of the service of both men and officers. 
 The date of enlistment, ages, promotions, 
 reductions, forfeiture of service for misconduct, 
 &c. &c. were to be regularly entered ; an admi- 
 rable system, and one which has proved most 
 beneficial. Nothing of the sort had previously 
 existed, so that it gave our hero an infinity 
 of trouble to discover from the old muster-rolls 
 — many of which had been lost or defaced, and
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 273 
 
 ^y the examination of the soldiers themselves, in 
 what number of actions, sieges, or storming- 
 parties they had been engaged : but this was not 
 without its advantages, for Cromwell thus 
 became intimately acquainted with the character 
 and services of every man in the regiment. 
 
 The same post brought what was of more 
 interest to our hero than even — the greatest 
 source of pleasure to the young officer — the 
 news of his having obtained his first step of 
 promotion ; namely, a letter from Colonel 
 Scabbart. Instantly, on receiving it, he rushed 
 off to his room, locked his door, and dived into 
 its contents. 
 
 The letter, in all probability, brought news of 
 Harney ; the first tidings of her since she had 
 left Gibraltar. Cromwell had not even yet heard 
 if the vessel had arrived, or whether she who 
 was so dear to him had reached her destination 
 in safety. A sort of nervous delight — of hope, 
 of fear, convulsed his frame as he tore open the 
 
 n 3
 
 274 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 seal ; even Carlo — who was invariably received 
 with caresses by his master every time he entered 
 his room, rushing forward to whine and lick his 
 hands, for the first time met with a rebuff, and 
 slunk under the sofa. 
 
 The first two pages were entirely taken up 
 by the old Colonel's opinions on Congreve 
 rockets, Shrapnel shells, and a long description 
 of a newly-invented engine, an account of which 
 had appeared in the papers, accompanied by all 
 the abuse the press could heap upon the 
 Government, for not immediately advancing 
 to the inventor, a Captain Blast, some thousands 
 of pounds. 
 
 "Old fool !— twaddler !— bore !" — burst forth 
 at the end of every ten lines, in indistinct 
 mutterings ; for Cromwell's patience was se- 
 verely put to the test : at length he came to the 
 last page. At the words "Your pretty protegee, 
 Miss Crosbie, came safely to her old consignee," 
 his face suddenly lit up. Carlo, who knew his
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 275 
 
 master well, and was nearly as cunning as a 
 human being, poked his nose from under the 
 sofa, and gave one or two hard thumps upon the 
 floor with his short stumpy tail : not finding that 
 he was again " snubbed," he quietly lifted up 
 the sofa-cover, and gradually worked his neck 
 and shoulders out, whilst Cromwell went on 
 reading, as fast as his eyes could travel over 
 Scabbart's provokingly cramped and almost 
 illegible writing. 
 
 " I can't say much for your taste in letting 
 her leave the Rock. When I was a young man 
 I knew how to appreciate a pretty girl : I tell 
 you, Crommy, they had no objection, either, and 
 Jack Scabbart was pretty well known to most of 
 them. I have known many a pretty woman in 
 my day ; but I must say I never saw any one so 
 handsome as the young lady you have banished. 
 I cannot make it out, but I will do what you 
 desire, that you may depend upon : you 
 will not find confidence misplaced in Jack
 
 276 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 Scabbart. Egad! she's very handsome. I 
 took her out to walk with me one day, in 
 the Park ; you cannot conceive how every 
 one admired her! I felt quite proud of my 
 charge ; I felt twenty years younger. Many 
 old acquaintances, whom I had not seen for 
 years, came up to take a turn with me. I 
 cannot describe the respect they paid me: in 
 all probability, they had read my 'Essay on 
 Cross-belts.' " 
 
 " Confound him !" muttered Cromwell ; and 
 dog Carlo's tail ceased to batter the floor. 
 
 " Egad ! I felt twenty years younger, and I'm 
 not so old either, Crommy. I felt quite as 
 proud as when his Royal Highness the Duke of 
 Kent" (" Old bore," growled out Cromwell, 
 while Carlo retired under the sofa, his muzzle 
 alone peering from under the vallance) — "sent 
 to me, by his Aide-de-Camp, to say that I had 
 his full permission to dedicate to him the sequel 
 to my ' Essay on Cross-belts/ which was to
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 277 
 
 be called 'The Evils of the present system of 
 using Breastplates in the British Army.' It was 
 a great honour." 
 
 We are sorry to be obliged to confess that 
 this announcement only induced our hero to 
 forget his respect for the old Colonel, and 
 the words " Confounded old fool !" were actually 
 applied to his relative. Dog Carlo's muzzle then 
 entirely disappeared under the sofa : — 
 
 " A great mark of Royal courtesy. But the 
 little minx did not like her walk, or something 
 went wrong, for, all of a sudden, I felt her seize 
 tight hold of my arm ; — nervousness, perhaps, 
 never having been in such a crowd before ; she 
 shook all over, violently ; complained of a bad 
 head- ache, and begged that I would take her 
 home. I did so, and have never been able 
 to get her out again." 
 
 These words concluded the side of the 
 sheet of paper, and had been written a couple
 
 278 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 of days before the closing of the mail for the 
 East. The next page began : 
 
 " Since writing the above, I have met a very 
 old friend of mine, Sir John Vaughan, an old 
 brother officer, who was knighted for the inven- 
 tion of the spring which is attached to the 
 bayonets of light-infantry muskets, and which, 
 but for the miserable niggardliness of the 
 Government, ought to have been furnished to 
 all regiments. What can be more cruel, for the 
 difference of a few pounds, to debar the soldier 
 of the line, because he is brave, from the same 
 security and defence? It is notorious that a 
 good swordsman might wrench the bayonet 
 which has no spring, from off the fire-lock. I 
 am one of those who always have maintained 
 that the infantry soldier is quite a match for 
 a horseman, in single combat ; and what has he 
 to depend upon, after he has discharger] his 
 piece, unless it be his bayonet? Witness the
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 279 
 
 gallant defence made by two soldiers of the light 
 division at the Bridge of Beneventura, (mentioned 
 in the first volume of the ' Peninsular Wars/) 
 when attacked by a party of French dragoons."* 
 
 * " On the night of the 26th, the chasseurs of the 
 Imperial Guard rode close up to the Bridge of Castro 
 Gonzalo, and captured some women and baggage. 
 
 " The following remarkable instance of courage and 
 discipline deserves to be recorded. John Waltow, a 
 native of the south of Ireland, and Richard Jackson, an 
 Englishman, were posted in a hollow road on the plain 
 beyond the bridge, and at a distance from their picquet. 
 If the enemy approached, one was to fire, run back to 
 the brow of the hill, and give notice if there were many 
 or few ; the other was to maintain his ground. A party 
 of cavalry, following a hay-cart, stole up close to these 
 men, and suddenly gallopped in, with a view to kill 
 them, and surprise the post. Jackson fired, but was 
 overtaken, and received twelve or fourteen severe wounds 
 in an instant ; he came staggering on, notwithstanding 
 his mangled state, and gave the signal. Waltow, with 
 equal resolution, and more fortune, defended himself 
 with his bayonet, and wounded several of the assailants,
 
 280 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 " I repeat, it is the duty of a government to 
 place the very best of weapons in the hands 
 of our brave fellows. All powers, save ours, 
 furnish their soldiers with the best muskets 
 they can procure in their own countries, and 
 many, much better than those issued to our 
 own troops, made in our own great armory, 
 at Birmingham, are purchased by them. 
 Economy in this respect is a disgrace to so 
 great a nation, which can produce the best of fire- 
 arms. It is the same with the swords of our 
 Dragoons, and it is only of late years that any- 
 thing approaching to a long and effective 
 weapon has been given to them." 
 
 who retreated, leaving him unhurt ; but his cap, his 
 knapsack, his belts, and his musket were cut in above 
 twenty places, and his bayonet was bent double, his 
 musket covered with blood, and notched like a saw, from 
 the muzzle to the lock. Jackson escaped death during 
 the retreat, and recovered of his wounds." — Napier's 
 Peninsular War, Vol. I. p. 466.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 281 
 
 Although our hero fully concurred in the just- 
 ness of old Scabbart's remarks upon the wretched 
 and short-sighted economy thus reprobated, his 
 thoughts being, at the moment, otherwise 
 occupied, a palpable and extremely disrespectful 
 anathema, directed against the Colonel, was 
 on the tip of his tongue, but he was saved 
 the sin of giving utterance to it ; for, on casting 
 his eyes over the next line, his features relaxed — 
 and Carlo's nose once more appeared : 
 
 " Well, Sir John called upon me — he's a 
 capital fellow — he liked young Harney so much 
 that he has engaged her to look after his 
 daughter, who is an exceedingly nice girl. He 
 lost his wife a few years ago, and was very 
 much cut up by it : a more kind-hearted 
 man never breathed, and I am sure Miss 
 Crosbie will be most comfortable. She leaves 
 me this very evening, as the General has been 
 appointed to the northern district, and goes 
 off to-morrow to take his new command.
 
 282 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 Mind and read my ' Essay on Cross-belts.' I 
 send a copy for my old friend Bassoon — a fine 
 old soldier — Bassoon always was so — great 
 favourite amongst the men. I hope the corps 
 will come home soon ; their time must be 
 nearly out — Bassoon told me he intended to 
 make you his Adjutant : it is a great step for 
 a young officer ; I hope you will do your duty 
 — I'm sure you will — I've explained the duty 
 in my pamphlet called 'Hints for Adjutants,' 
 — you may get many a wrinkle there ; you will 
 find it in the Garrison Library. Good bye, 
 my fine fellow; present my compliments to 
 your Colonel. 
 
 " P.S. — I have just submitted my new plan 
 of a knapsack to the board, and am in great 
 hopes it will be generally adopted in the army. 
 Have also furnished a list of necessaries —those 
 only absolutely requisite for the comfort of the 
 soldier : if they will only adhere to it, he will 
 get rid of at least four pounds of useless weight
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 283 
 
 — pipe-clay, heel-balls, and rubbish. Nothing 
 can be so absurd as to load the poor devils as 
 they are loaded now, like jackasses. Sixty- two 
 pounds they carry, when in complete marching 
 order. It is really monstrous !" 
 
 During the perusal of the latter part of the 
 letter, dog Carlo had made as many sorties, 
 and retrograde movements, — as we are sorry to 
 be obliged to relate, our Cromwell made rash 
 and unrepeatable exclamations : at last, he saw 
 his master lay down the paper, go to the 
 further end of his room, where stood a table 
 on which lay a dark green morocco leather 
 box, closed by one of Mr. Bramah's locks — 
 take his watch from the breast-pocket of his 
 undress coat, and apply a small gold key to that 
 lock. He then saw him open a well-known 
 satin pocket-book, from whence he took a pecu- 
 liarly-folded piece of paper, which, when opened, 
 disclosed a long tress of the softest dark brown 
 hair, tied at one end with a piece of blue
 
 284 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 ribbon, (a souvenir of which Cromwell had pos- 
 sessed himself when taking leave of Hamey that 
 moonlight night before her departure from 
 Gibraltar) — and, as he saw him turn it over 
 and over and give it a kiss, like a shot Carlo 
 jumped quite upon him, placed his fore-legs 
 upon his shoulders, and had the impertinence 
 to try to lick his face : and he was not 
 repulsed. 
 
 Cromwell was delighted with the promptitude 
 of old Scabbart, in so soon finding an asylum 
 for Hamey. Flattering himself that she had 
 found kind friends in Sir John Vaughan and 
 his daughter he felt a heavy weight taken from 
 his mind ; and having brought, by this time, 
 his task of the registration of the men's records 
 to an end, he found the time pass pleasantly 
 enough at Gibraltar. At the end of the year, 
 the regiment expected to be ordered home to 
 England. 
 
 Before he left the Rock, Cromwell obtained
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 285 
 
 leave to go to Africa for three weeks, to pursue his 
 favourite amusement of shooting. Filagree, and 
 another officer, agreed to accompany him, and 
 Tangier was the place selected as head-quarters. 
 The red-legged partridge abounds in its vicinity : 
 in its native country it is exceedingly strong 
 on the wing, and affords capital shooting when 
 found amongst the straggling palmetto and 
 gum cistus. Snipes, and water-fowl, also, are 
 very numerous, and there is always afforded to 
 sportsmen the chance of getting a stray shot at 
 a wolf or a wild boar. 
 
 Some discussion arose as to whether Tangier, 
 or Tetuan — lower down upon the coast, should 
 be selected as their head-quarters, and it was 
 Filagree's vote that decided for the former, 
 but it could not be said to be entirely im- 
 partial, or given with reference to the ques- 
 tion " which of the two was preferable for 
 shooting" only. Tangier was much the largest 
 of the towns ; the consuls of the different
 
 286 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 nations lived there, and Filagree had quietly 
 ascertained from old Muley Hassan — who sold 
 otto of roses, embroidered leather cushions, and 
 broad-brimmed palmetto hats, to the officers of 
 the garrison at Gibraltar, that numbers of beau- 
 tiful Jewesses were to be found there ; and this 
 communication, coupled with a promise from 
 Muley himself that he would introduce him to 
 his wives, not a little biassed his vote. 
 
 The under-brush, or " cover," along the 
 northern coast of Africa is composed of myrtle, 
 arbutus, and palmetto, interspersed with a dwarf 
 kind of acacia, which has long and exceedingly 
 strong thorns ; so much so, that all who repair 
 thither for shooting provide themselves with 
 untanned leather nether garments, the only 
 things which will turn them ; and these all the 
 party had procured, with the exception of our 
 Muffin. Nothing was further from his thoughts 
 than to peril any part of his fine proportions 
 amongst the thorns of the African jungles:
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 287 
 
 killing red-legged partridges was not the least 
 in his line : he aimed at another kind of game ; 
 the black-eyed houris of the harem were to be 
 slaughtered in hundreds. 
 
 Filagree's costume was as follows : his body 
 was encased in a double-breasted, bright emerald 
 green, plush velvet coat, cut in that form vulgarly 
 known as a ' duck-hunter ;' the said duck-hunter 
 being studded over with huge brass buttons, upon 
 each and every one of which were represented, in 
 basso-relievo, some sporting device, — a covey of 
 partridges — a pack of grouse — a hare on her 
 form — a setter, with one leg off the ground 
 and his tail straight out, looking upon a phea- 
 sant under a crowd of turnip-leaves, &c. &c. &c. 
 This he wore buttoned up to the throat. Across 
 one shoulder was slung his shot-bag, (one of the 
 old kind, intended to hold two sizes of shot), 
 over the other a green worsted cord, to which 
 his powder-flask was attached, and from which 
 depended two exceedingly fine worsted tassels.
 
 288 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 He was clad in a pair of thin, white moleskin 
 trowsers, which fitted tight to the leg, much in 
 the manner delineated by Seymour, in his 
 " Sketches of Cockney Sportsmen," where he 
 represents Mr. Filkins and his friend returning 
 from shooting, in a snow-storm, and passing 
 under a sign-board which directs them to Bat- 
 tersea, a pocket-handkerchief bound round the 
 head of the former, which has evidently received 
 several grains of shot from his friend's piece. 
 Filagree's moleskins also, terminated, like those 
 of Mr. Filkhio, with sundry buttons, as they 
 approached the feet, where they merged into the 
 form of gaiters. 
 
 Dog Furzebush accompanied his master on 
 this expedition ; not that he was likely to be of 
 use in shooting, but he might come to his aid, 
 as he had done on many former occasions : his 
 extraordinary appearance, and the tricks he 
 could play, might have a wonderful effect upon 
 the Moorish ladies.
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 289 
 
 A felucca was hired, and, after a delightful 
 sail through the beautiful strait of Gibraltar, 
 the party arrived at Tangier, and, after some 
 little delay from the custom-house authorities, 
 were allowed to land, and took up their quarters 
 at a sort of inn. It is impossible for any Giaour 
 to leave Tangier, or any city in the Emperor's 
 dominions, unprotected by a soldier; which 
 soldier is mounted, and paid one dollar per 
 day, the greater part of which, in all proba- 
 bility, goes into the pocket of some one in 
 power — certainly not into tha« of the poor 
 devil, who is answerable with his head for the 
 safety of the party. 
 
 During the first day's shooting, Filagree 
 accompanied the others; but a ride of some 
 thirteen miles upon a miserable mule, and on a 
 Moorish saddle — to say nothing of the dire and 
 awful effect of the thorns on his moleskin 
 trowsers, (which, after that day, could never 
 
 VOL. I. O
 
 290 CROMWELL DOOLAN; OR, 
 
 again be looked upon as any protection, being 
 torn into fragments), prevented him from hazard- 
 ing a repetition of the achievement: he had 
 no mind to follow the chase again, but allowed 
 the others to depart, and went in search of his 
 friend, Muley Hassan, having "got him- 
 self up" for the expected introduction to his 
 wives. 
 
 Proceeding up the long, narrow main street 
 of Tangier, Filagree cast his eyes from right 
 to left into all the small bazaars or shops, in 
 which the merchants sit to await their passing 
 customers. At length, he espied Muley thus 
 seated, and smoking a long pipe, with a cherry- 
 stick tube. Our Muffin instantly, called to him, by 
 name ; but, to his surprise, Muley took no notice, 
 regarding him with a fixed stare — a steady gaze, 
 which expressed no less than — " Who are you? — 
 I have never seen you before." But Filagree 
 was not to be thus done ; he called out to
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 291 
 
 Muley again, at the same time confronting him, 
 just as he would have done at Gibraltar, and put 
 him in mind of his promise — Muley, all the 
 time, preserving, with the greatest gravity, the 
 most inflexible silence : the clouds of smoke 
 which he puffed from his mouth alone indicated 
 that he existed. The Muffin-worrier soon lost 
 his patience, and, after applying a few epithets — 
 not actual blessings — which we think it better 
 not to repeat, to the old Moor, at length walked 
 off, very much disgusted, and muttering some- 
 thing about the tossing he should have in 
 a blanket, the very next time he visited the 
 casemated barracks at Water-port. 
 
 But Muley, who was sufficiently cringing and 
 obsequious in his manners when selling Palmetto 
 hats and cushions to the officers, and under our 
 flag, was a very great man in his own country — 
 one of the greatest of the Tangier merchants, 
 and cut our Muffin dead. Very much aston- 
 
 o 2
 
 292 CROMWELL DOOLAN ; OR, 
 
 ished, Filagree mentioned the circumstance to 
 the Consul, after dinner that day ; and, in return, 
 was strongly recommended on no account to 
 look after Moorish ladies ; for that, if he did, no 
 power of H. B. M. Consul would prevent his 
 getting a severe bastinadoing. Filagree took 
 the hint — made some excuse to the party for 
 suddenly leaving them, and embarked for 
 Gibraltar next day in the packet-boat, without 
 having once laid eyes upon a Moorish beauty. 
 It may readily be supposed that the story was 
 not lost to his messmates. 
 
 After having killed multitudes of partridges, 
 ducks, snipes, quail, and plovers, our hero 
 was suddenly summoned back to Gibraltar. 
 On nearing the Rock, a signal was flying for 
 a man-of-war ; soon after, a seventy-four gun 
 ship came to her moorings in the bay, and, 
 by two o'clock, the whole regiment, men, 
 women, and children, with the baggage, were
 
 LIFE IN THE ARMY. 293 
 
 embarked, and the anchor was weighed. After 
 a very boisterous passage, all were safely landed 
 at Portsmouth; so, 
 
 • ! Farewell and adieu to ye Spanish ladies, 
 Farewell and adieu to ye ladies of Spain, 
 For we've received orders to sail for Old England, 
 And shortly we hope for to see you again." 
 
 END OF VOL. I. 
 
 LONDON : 
 
 Printed by Schulze and Co., 13, Poland Street.