'l 1 b R A rTT OF THF- UNIVERSITY or ILLINOIS v/.| PADDIANA; OB, SCRAPS AND SKETCHES OF IRISH LIFE PRESENT AND PAST. BY THE AUTHOR OF " A HOT WATER CURE." IN TWO VOLUMES. VOL. I. LONDON: RICHARD BENTLEY, NEW BURLINGTON STREET 4 1847. |i " I haro laid downo hccre to the reader his view, a breefe discourvc. whereof I trurt he shall take no ffreat surfet. And when I am aduertiiicd that he will dincst the thin faro tliat hcerc is disht before hini, it may be (Go«l willing) hecrcaflcr that he !*hall find my bookc with store of more licorous deintics farsed and furnished ; Icauing to his choice either nicelie to pickle, or greedilie to swallow, as much as to his contenUtion shall bert hesecmc hlni/' Ki< haud Stamulr»t. LONDON: PRINTBO BY OROROK BARCLAY, f ASTLR STRKF.T. t.KICC»TRR SUIARK. 653b CONTENTS OF VOL. I. Page Introduction to Ireland and the Irish 1 Mr. Smith's Irish Love 20 " Mick Doolan's Head" 68 Still-hunting 92 A Mystery amongst the Mountains 112 The Adventure of Tim Daley 120 ]\Irs. Fogarty's Tea-party 141 A Quiet Day at Farrellstown 157 A Duel 175 Mr. II 186 The Old Head of Kinsale 192 Barney OTIay 211 Head-breaking 223 ^37954 IV CONTENTS. Pag* Cads, Fools, and Beggars 2.12 TiiK Mendicity Assoc ivtion 265 TiiK Dor.-rvNcir.R '2i\0 Dmilin C vkmkn 271 IIoRSKs ... 277 Priests : Catholic and otukrs 2h3 An Irish Stew 204 PADDIANA, INTRODUCTION TO IRELAND AND THE IRISH. My introduction to Ireland was made before steam-packets came into general use, though they ran even then between Holyhead and Howth ; but this I believe was the only line. It is amusing, in these days, to recall to memory the fears expressed at that time on the subject of steam-power, not only by "elderly ladies and ecclesiastics," but by a great majority of all ages and classes. Sea- faring men of every kind were against it. ** None of your tea-kettle ships ! " was the common cry ; and the possibility of a steamer crossing the Atlantic, or reaching India, would VOL. I. B 2 PADDIANA. have been thought too absurd to be entertained for a moment. But, notwithstanding the fear of its danger and the ridicule of its success, there was a sort of undefined consciousness of its ultimate adoption, which j)eople wilfully, but unsuccessfully, tried to banish fioni their minds, and which even sailors and old ladies could not quite get rid of. I embarked at Liverpool one fine evening in September, in one of the regular sailing pac- kets, for Dublin. She was a rather large cut- ter, something of the old INlargate hoy species, commanded by an Irishman ; her crew were Irish, as were also her passengers to a man, excepting myself. It was the first time in my life that I had ever mixed with the Irish, or even had any comnmnication with individuals of that country, and it was not without a feeling of some interest that I found myself suddenly cut otf from all other people and plunged wholly amongst them. I was the first passenger on board ; and having paid my passage-money and secured the best berth in the vessel, seated myself on the bulwarks of the Nora Creina, as she lay alongside the pier waiting the turn of the tide, and watched the arrival of the other passen- INTRODUCTION TO IRELAND. 3 gers. As the time of high-water drew near, they dropped in by twos and threes ; the cabin passengers coming first to the number of about a dozen, all eagerly rushing below to secure the berths (six altogether), and all coming on deck again in apparent satisfaction at the arrangements they had made. On the pier above stood some hundreds of Irish reapers, uniformly dressed in grey frieze coats, corduroy breeches, unbuttoned at the knee, and without neckerchiefs ; carrying their sickles wrapped in straw slung over the shoulder, and every one with a lai-ge, long blackthorn stick in his hand, the knob of the stick being on the ground, contrary to the usage of all other people, and the small end held in the hand. As the vessel was preparing to cast off, a stream of these people began to pour down the ladder to the deck of our little craft, till the whole fore-part of the vessel, and subsequently the waist, were completely choked up with them. Still they kept de- scending, till the cabin-passengers were driven to the extreme after-part, alongside the tiller ; but yet the stream flowed on, till not only the fore-cabin but every available portion of the deck was crammed with a dense mass of human 4 I'ADDIANA. beings, — we of the state-cabin Ibrmlng ilie small tail of the crowtl. How the vessel was to be worked in this state it was (Jifficult to conjecture, and I heartil}' wishi'd myself out of it. Inlien's Green would say, or steal in on the pensive tack? No, that will never do : she may drop off in a doze before she fully comprehends the state of the case. Tlie dashiny: system is the best : no doubt that was the way the Colonel carried oft' Milley." (A slight hesitation on the last step.) " * Brisk confidence still best with woman copes.' So here goes " " But hush ! hark ! a deep sound strikes like a rising knell," Two persons, evidently, were in the room, and one of them, assuredly, a man. The con- versation was carried on in too low a tone to enable Smith to catch the words, even it he had been disposed to listen. That he did so for a moment cannot be denied, and a sickening conviction came over him that the male voice was that of the accursed Sandy ! INow Mr. Smith hated listeners as much as any man — we all hate them. iNobody ever MR. smith's IRISH LOVE. 33 has, or ever will, admit that he listened. The Roman sculptor put a slave in the hu- miliating posture. It is a practice repudiated by high and low. The officer who hid his adjutant in a cupboard, denied that he listened by deputy ; and there is not a maid-of-all work, from Hammersmith to Blackwall, that would not "scorn the haction," however caught in the fact. But if any man ever had an excuse fur listening, it must be admitted that, all the circumstances considered, Smith was that man. To resist the temptation would have been superhuman : Smith was a mere mortal, so he advanced to such a position as gave him a full command over the interior of the drawing-room. There, sitting, or rather lying back in the corner of a sofa, was the voluptuous form of Miss Donovan, and seated next to her — and very close indeed — was Mr. Sandy Casey ; her left hand held in his, and his right arm extended behind the fair neck, which he was in the act of drawing towards him till, by a corresponding advance on his own part, the four lips met ! c2 34 PADDIAXA. *'Well (lone, Mr. Sandy Casey!" said Smith to himself, with a bitter merriment ; ** very well done, indeed, for the humble lad, whose modesty, poor cratur ! would be the ruin of him!" '''It's he that's the bashful boy !'" repeated Smitli, quoting Mrs. Donovan, '* who took after his mother, poor Milley ! the Pride of Ros- common !" '''Sure he's too good to be loose!'" Poor Smith tliouiilit so. "'Chamber-counsel,' quotha! Most ad- mirably adapted he seems for that particular line of business." "'Sure, he might practise, but not in the coorts!' Not a doubt about it, and with im- mense success I" It was a fix — a dilemma — a wet blanket : it was a break on the wheels of Smith. But, after all, there are few situations so utterly bad and barren as not to afford a trifle of balm. " At any rate," thought Smith, calling upon his Whitechapel notions for comfort, " at any rate there will be something saved in the article of brown windsor ! " MR. smith's IRISH LOVE. 35 He was getting over the sublime, and soon began to see the matter in another light. " A change came o'er the spirit of his dream." He nearly laughed outright, and passing quickly into the room, was before them almost before the lips had separated — actually before Sandy had time to resume his modesty, or the lady energy enough to call up a blush. Seizing a hand of each, he joined them together, saying, ^' I publish the bans of mar- riage between Alexander Casey, bachelor, and Louisa Donovan, spinster. This is the last time of asking. ' Dearly beloved,' et cetera^ tt cetera^ et cetera^ — ' And be not afraid with any amazement.' Permit me to claim the fee!" Retaining the fair Louisa's hand, the wretched Smith drew her towards him, and fastened a long, good, savage kiss on her beautiful mouth ; and then — like " The Pride of Roscommon" — he bolted. # * # # Seven years after the above passage in Mr. Smith's early life, he found himself again strolling about the well-known streets of the Irish capital. During that awful period his 36 PADDIANA. connexion with Dublin, and almost with Ire- land, had been suspended. He had " Put a girdle round about the earth," and, excepting some passing notice in a chance newspaper, was ignorant of the births, deaths, and marriages amongst his Irish acquaintances. That Sandy Casey and liis fair cousin had taken the j)retty broad hint given them at his last interview and married, lie thought there could be little doul)t ; and as he wandered about the streets, he looked into e\ery carriage in the hopes of recognising the beautiful features of Mrs. Casey, and at every horseman expecting to discover Sandy. But all in vain. Grafton Street exhibited the same description of good-looking, athletic, free-and-easy young fellows ; the same abund- ance of whiskers and exaggerations of the reigning fashions, as formerly. The ladies were the same examples of lovely untidiness ; they had the same straggling hair, the same long points to the fingers of their badly fitting gloves, the same expression of arch simplicity in their features ; and were, in short, the same lovely, fascinating creatures, that Smith had formerly known them to be. MR. smith's IRISH LOVE. 37 There was the country-consin, in his seedy cut-away coat and long-haired rahbit-skin hat, walking arm-in-arm with the ultra-metro- politan " Swell:" there were quite as many bare- footed beggar-women at the carriage doors, and the cads seemed to have about the same bunch of rags hanging to their shoulders by the one suspender. He saw many a well- known feature at Dycer's; and there, indeed, he could almost have identified the individual duck-hunters. He could almost have sworn it was the same spavined mare that he saw trotted out seven years before, wan-anted sound wind and limb, up to any weight in any country — the same groom riding her over the bar ; and the first words he heard the auc- tioneer utter were precisely those delivered by him when last he left the yard, — " No advance upon ten pound? — She's gone!" Ruminating upon the immutability of men and things in this interesting country, Mr. Smith found himself in Harcourt Street, abreast of the well-known residence of INIrs. Donovan. If there is any thing more rash than an- other, it is revisiting an early love ; especially 38 PADDIANA. one that has been married sev^cn years. In nine cases out of ten it is an impertinent in- trusion. Pass on, Smith, let bygones be bygones ; don't disturb the peace of families, and be voted a bore. Hurry, Smith : remem- ber you are a ** have-been" yourself, and make no exchange of recollection for reality. Per- mit yourself, for a moment, to imagine what a slovenly sjiinster may be after seven years* marriage ! Think of crows' feet, emhonpoint, and six children. Are you prepared to nurse the baby? At this thought Smith made two rapid steps in advance, when the dining-room curtains caught his eye. They were evidently the same moreen — faded, but the same. Old scenes began to reappear; and his thoughts having taken tlieir cue in the upholstery line, settled upon the '' mahogany," under which his feet had so often nestled. He thought of Mrs. Donovan's favourite boiled mutton and capers, and tlie glorious old port of Mr. Donovan — Brookes's, with the black seal, as it was called. He bethought him of the many festive pas- sages that had come off over that polished Honduras ; and remembered the treasured joke of the deceased Donovan, that a table MR. smith's IRISH LOVE. 39 was never so brilliant as when tliere was plenty of wet upon it. Then, the centre spike of the area railing was wanting, as of yore ; and the lowest step of the door-flight had not yet been either mended or replaced where he well remembered a piece to have been chipped off, tradition said, by an eccentric cornet of heavies, who had a trick of riding up to the door to ring the bell. Still, Smith might possibly have passed on had not a sudden thought struck him. " Who knows," thought he, " but matters may have remained unchanged within as without ? It is far from impossible that Mrs. Donovan may still be in the flesh and the brown tabinet ; and perchance her fair daughter may be even now a Miss ! She must be — let me see — why, certainly, not more than seven-and-twenty. These Irish ladies wear well. By Heaven!" said Smith, running nimbly up the steps, " she is at this moment in the absolute perfection of the prime of life! A magnificent woman, no question : decidedly improved in every way. Poor dear girl ! her mother, though an excel- lent person, was one of the old school, and, I have no doubt, neglected to inculcate with vigour a knowledge of the duties of the toilet. 40 PADDIANA. By this time her own good sense will have set lier right on this point; and, hesides, I am pretty sure that, of late years, there lias been an exemption in favour of Ireland as regards the duty on soap. I am for measures, not men," said Smith, as he gave a thundering raj) at the door; *' and whoever did this, whether Whigs or Tories, I honour them for it!" Just as he was preparing to inflict another double on the door, and getting ready to give a hearty shaking to Pat when he opened it, behold ! a gentleman in a strange livery presented himself — a staid, formal footman, with ample calves in unwiinkled cottons, and a well -])owdered head emitting an odour of bergamot pomatum. Mr. Smith was rather taken aback. "The spirits he had raised abandoned him." The man knew nothing of Mrs. Donovan, nor of Mr. Casey. Could not possibly tell where they might be ; had lived in that house up- wards of three years, and never heard of such people. Not impossible that the charwoman might know something aliout them. (Here a slight movement, as if to make iiKpiiry, when, seeing Smith eye the hats and coats, a new- idea appeared to aiise.) IIR. smith's IRISH LOVE. 41 '* Oh no, sir, quite sure the charwoman knows nothing about them. Don't think vou are likely to obtain information hereabouts." (Gradually closing the door.) " Good morn- ing, sir ; sorry I can't obleege you ;" and finally shutting him out as he glanced at the coats, while an expression of " Don't you wish you may get it!" passed over his intelligent features. Smith had very much the feeling of having been kicked out of doors ; and had at once a painful aggravation of the sense of solitude one feels when alone and unheeded in a great city: a solitude passing that of Selkirk. Slowly he retraced his steps towards Stephen's Green, and had hardly the heart to look up at Sandy's old bedroom, where by a singular co- incidence the blinds were still down, as on that eventful morning when he had last passed the place. He tried the house in the hope of being still the earlier bird, but in vain. Sandy had not been heard of for years. They thought he had married, and believed he had settled in the country, but where they knew not. •' He had a small property in Roscommon," said the landlord, laying an unpleasant em- phasis upon the past tense; " but " I ques- 42 PADDIANA. tion whether he has it still, — lie would have said, if politeness had allowed him to finish the sentence. Smith gave np the chase in despair : he ahandoned the pleasing vision of his well- washed Irish love, and concluded that Miss Donovan, as well as the Roscommon property, were things of the past. Some months afterwards, chance conducted Mr. Smith to a desolate part of the island, westward. Desolate it appeared on the map, for there were few names to indicate that thereahouts the natives were gathered toge- ther into towns or even villages : hut in place of these the ingenious hydrographer had orna- mented his canvass with tufts of grass, as they " On Afric clowns Place elephants for want of towns ;" while here and there a range of hills shewed faintly on the surface, like a fossil centipede. He took up his residence in a long, straggling, one-street village, boasting of a single slate- roofed house — the inn, all the others being cabins covered with thatch, or inferred to be so, under the weeds and barley and moss which MR. smith's IRISH LOVE. 43 hid the original material ; and amongst which the domestic poultry, and an occasional * scald crow,' found a scanty picking. Before every house was a dunghill ; beside every dunghill a filthy pool, in which they washed the potatoes ; at almost every door, propped against the wall, was a man in a huge grey greatcoat, in the sleeves of which his hands were buried, a short pipe in his mouth, his breeches' knees unbut- toned, and his stockings wrinkled down to the ankle ; then there was a bustling, barefooted, bareheaded, generally comely wife, a swarm of all but naked children, and a most independent pig. This last was perhaps the busiest of all ; now giving a curious little eye to the potato- washing, then walking in-doors as if to see how the turf burnt; rudely scraping against the bare legs of the females, or rooting a baby out of his way with a toss of his snout, as he passed backwards and forwards ; and all the while keeping up a small, querulous, maundering cry, that seemed to come from his lower stomach, and doubtless, in his language, meant *' cup- board." On the morning after Mr. Smith's arrival, and when just upon the point of starting in the pursuit of snipes, a gentleman rode into the inn 44 PADDIANA. yard, niid commenced a conversation with the ostloi-. There was someihin<^ in tlie voice that Smith remembered, but paying little attention to it, lie would probably to this day have re- mained in ignorance of the owner, had it not been foralittlo by-play on his part with the red-legged maid of the inn, and her exclama- tion, — " Ah, Mr. Casey, go 'long wid ye! ye'r a sad man : sure ye ought to repint." Smith looked at the horseman, but in the full-grown, musculai', l)hick-whiskered indivi- dual before him could recognise little that belonged to the humble lad of former times ; and yet a second glance convinced him that it was the same. It loas Sandy, and going uj), Smith shook him cordially by the nearest hand, without saying a word. Sandy for a moment looked perplexed, and then uttered a screech that you might have heard half-across the bog; and not contented with this, he deliberately rose in his stirrups, and putting his finger to his ear, gave a holloa that set all the cocks and hens in the villajje gabbling, and might have been envied by any huntsnian or master of hounds on the face of the earth. His next move was to jump from MR. smith's IRISH l.OVE. 45 his horse and catch the Englishman in liisarnis, in a ling the most affectionate hear could scarcely have rivalled ; and seeing the red- legged servant, with round ej'es and open mouth in an ecstasy of amazement at his pro- ceedings, he would have served her in like manner, hut for the superior nimbleness of her pink heels. ^' Och, murther!" said Sandy, dropping naturally into the vernacular, '* but this will be a great day at Casey's Town ! Sure it's Louisa that will be right glad to see you. Mick, ye villain, put old Jack in the car till we have him up at the Place ! Katty, will you run now and fetch down his portmanteau, or I'll pinch you into smithereens?" Here he suited the action to the word. " Ah, can't ye stop? Sure it's a shame for ye!" '' Will you run now and take his things to the car?" '' Faith, T could'nt take it at all, nor the half of it. It's fowling he's come ; sure, there's bags fit to load the mail." As soon as Smith could get in a word, he in- terfered to overrule his friend's hospitable in- tentions, and it was finally agreed that each 46 PADDIANA. should pursue his original sporting plans — Smith to the bog, the otlier to the fox- hounds some seven miles off — while a note was despatched to Mrs. Casey, apprising her that a few friends were coming to dinner, thoujih Avithout mentioninu^ names. •' Faith, we'll take a start out of her any way," said Sandy. " I wouldn't for five pounds Pat knew you w^ere here — he'd spoil it all." A few minutes before the appointed time the guest was seated on the car behind old Jack, and on the road to Casey's Town, or The Place, as it was called par excellence^ from being almost the only habitable place within some miles of the village. It stood upon a slightly rising ground, which afforded it from the windows a wide prospect, bounded only by the horizon, of that description of country which the map-maker had so truly and in- geniously indicated with his tufts of grass; it was a level waste of bog, fertile in snipes, turf, and wild fowl, but little else. Passing a dilapidated lodge, crowded with dirty children, they approached the Place by a moss-covered gravel-walk. The house was a plain white building, without pretensions to MR. smith's IRISH LOVE. 47 architectural beauty, and with a meadow in front sloping- to the road. There was no at- tempt at either garden or flower-bed, but a scrubby plantation flanked the building, making some attempt to hide the offices, in which it signally failed. The wheels of the Irish chariot had been Iieard as they drove up, and the master and Pat were at the open door to receive him. It was clear that Pat had not been let into the secret of Mr. Smith's coming, for on recog- nising him, which he did at once, he uttered a wild howl, and wheeling quickly round, made a bolt for the door. This movement, however, had been foreseen, and before he could possibly gain the house, Sandy had him by the skirt of the coat. The well-worn livery was not proof against this rude assault, and the one tail coming clear off* at the waist, remained in his master's hand. Pat, nothing daunted, would have succeeded in effiecting his purpose, had not his master seized him by the collar, and, with a curious variety of imprecations, threat- ened him with present death if he did not hold his tongue. *' Murther !" said Pat; " vvhy wouldn't I tell the missis?" 48 PADDIANA. ** Whisht, ye vilhiin, or I'll liavo the life out of ye !" Not without a struggle they managed to reacli the drawing-room, Pat ever ready to rush to the front, and only kept l)ack hy either a fist in his face or an arm thrown out on either side. At tiie unopened door of the drawing- room Mr. Casey made a pause, and addressing his servant in an impressive whisper, referring, no douht, to certain audihlc clearances of the throat which he had noticed on the way, — " If ye call his name out till I see if she knows him, I'll stifle you!" But Pat was a man not easily haffled : he had made up his mind to the announcement, though willing to keep on the windy side of suffocation, and the door was no sooner opened than he raised himself on tiptoe to get, if pos- sible, his mouth above his master's shoulder, and shouted with the full force of his lunors, — " Th' Army, ma'am!" as Mr. Smith was wont to be announced in former times, when wearing her majesty's unifoi'm. Mr. Casey was called to account for having planned and executed such a surprise; the scuffle in the hall and stru2:filino: ascent of the CO o staircase having been more calculated to raise, MR. smith's IRISH LOVE. 49 in an imaginative mind, unpleasant ideas of a resisted sheriff's officer than the entrance of a welcome guest. *' Sure, I tould him so," said Pat, backing out of the room to conceal the lost tail ; *' 'twas a shame for him ! and the mistress, maybe, in a delicate situation." Before we proceed to the dining-room, it may be necessary to give a short description of this eccentric serving- man. In person Pat Finn was rather under the average height, and there was nothing very striking or peculiar in his figure, but his physiognomy was extremely droll. His eyes and nose are soon dismissed ; the first were of a greenish grey, and the last neither Grecian nor Roman, but a fair specimen of the Irish vai-iety ; flattish about the bridge and rising into a small tump at the end, with nostrils well seen from the front. But the mouth was, in every sense, the grent feature in Pat's face. It was singular in having no facings to the lips, but the upper lid shut down so exactly on the under one, that at a little distance the only indication of a mouth was a faint horizontal line drawn across the face from ear to ear. It looked as if some adept in the sword exercise VOL. I. o 50 PADDIANA. liad produced it by the cuts five and six. Cut five having entered shortly below the left ear, the sword cleared itself under the nose, and the returninfi; cut six, tukinj^ up the j^asli under the right l(»be, finished at the sanu.' point as num- ber 6, producing the most capacious receptacle for all edible substances that could be seen. As far as this mouth was concerned, no man had less cause to complain of being '* cheated of feature by dissembling Nature." Pat rarely laughed, but he had a way of screwing his upper lip to a point which was very comic. For his manners, it must be con- fessed that they bordered on the familiar ; but then it must be remembered that he was an old and trusted servant, who had been born in the family, and most assuredly meant to die in it. So impossible an idea as that of parting with Pat Finn had never entered the head of either his master or mistress; still less into Pat's : in fact, he was as much a fixture as the roof of the house. Then he was ready for any thing. Such a system as a division of labour had never occurred to him. He drove the car, took a turn in the stable, was butler, footman, valet, and occasionally cook, particularly at a late hour at night. In this last capacity, devils MR. smith's IRISH LOVE. 51 were his forte: he imparted a pungent relish to a gizzard or a drumstick tliat set tlie assuag- ing power of drink at defiance — they posi- tively made you sneeze as they came in ; and for compounding a *' screecher" of punch he might have been backed against Father Tom himself Indeed, I never knew but one man come near him in this point, and that was the codjutor, as they called him, of a place near Cahirconlish. But to proceed with the story. Pat having cautiously backed out, as if from the presence of royalty, contrived with the assistance of a few pins to remedy the mishap of the torn coat ; and at his next appearance to announce an arrival, had resumed with his skirt the habitual gravity of his manners. From half an hour to an hour after the ap- pointed time, the party, amounting to half-a- dozen, came dropping in, and they sat down to a plain and plentiful repast. Scarcely had the fish been helped, when Pat (the only waiter) had occasion to leave the room, and on his return presented himself with only one skirt to his coat. It has been men- tioned that the original accident had been par- tially remedied by the skirt being pinned on, but now some practical joker in the kitchen 52 PADDIANA. had &lily takm out iIk; pins, aiiel suffered the niucli-tnisted (luincHtic to ri'tiirii into tlie diiiing- rooiii in the miseeinly condition ahove men- tioned ; and the ahsurdity of his appearance was increased by tlie red j)hish hreeclies being patched on tlie seat with some dark-coloured cloth — something in tlie shape of a heart, sewn, or rather coarsely tied «>n, witli packthread. Mr. Casey was the first to notice the circum- stance, when he lost no time in calling the attention of the guests to it, by a variety of telegraphic signs when Pat's back was turned ; ini])loring and threatening, by all sorts of em- phatic gestures, that no one would apprise him of his caudal deficiency. There are two little traits in Pat's behaviour to which it may be necessary to advert, and which would have been needless to mention, had not the habits been so prominently brought forward by the circumstance of his lost tail. One was a remarkably springy and jaunty car- riage : he did every thing with an air ; and on the grand occasion of a dinner party, lie in- dulged in this peculiarity to excess. For in- stance, when asked for anytliing he wouhi gently sink down a few inches on one leg, by bending the knee while he wheeled round, the MR. smith's IRISH LOVE. 53 other leg being extended straight like the wheeling limb of a jiair of compasses in de- scribing a circle. Having brought himself facing that part of the sideboard containing the article required, he would gently bound for- ward with an en avant step, such as dancing- masters were wont to teach their pupils at a time when prancing through quadrilles was the fashion. This flourish, which would have at- tracted little notice under ordinary circum- stances, was absurd in the extreme when per- formed by a man totally unconscious of the ridiculous exposure he exhibited at each evolu- tion. The other peculiarity was a habit of thinking aloud ; his sentiments, though mur- mured in a low tone, and without any move- ment of the lips, being pretty generally audible to the whole party. Sandy Casey had no sooner discovered the state of Pat's rear, than he adopted a plan the best possible for shewing it off with effect to the company. He called for water, bread, beer, fish-sauce, and kept the unfortunate serving-man in a perpetual wheel. Pat bore this wonderfully well for a timo, but became at last rather scandalised at his master's manners, which he justly considered to savour more of 54 PADDIANA. looking to his own interests thun attending to his giiestp, as a hospitahle Irish liost is wont to do; and in tliis view of the case lie was strengthened hy the nncontrolhihle huighter of the whole party, which he concluded to he excited by such an unusual course at a man's own board. They were soon niad»; actjuainted with what was passing in his mind hy an occasional '* aside," heard during a pause in the merri- ment. Pat {aside). — '* Bedad ye're taking care of yourself any how ! Ketchup! Sure I've tuk it twice to you. Soy! anchovy! vinegar! Hervey! Divle such a man ever I see for sauce! Faith, ye're making a holy show of yourself wid your pickles! By me sowl, ye don't give the rest a chance : ay, well they may laugh. Is it beer? Sure ye might ask them to take a glass of wine, they're ujost choking. Och, murther! is it nmstard with salmon? That bangs all!" This last order went far to produce some act of open rebellion, so monstrous did it apj)ear in Pat's eyes. He affected at first not to hear it, and kept his eyes sternly fixed on the opposite wall. When, however, there was no mistaking MR. smith's IRISH LOVE. 55 tlie reiterated command, he moved witli slow and faltering steps, and a deprecating look, towards his master, with the mustard-pot in his hand, and holding it at arm's length behind him, he lowered his mouth to Mr. Casey's ear, and addressing him confidentially, — *' It's salmon ye' re ating! Sure ye wouldn't ate mustard with salmon ? " The order, however, was repeated, and Pat, almost doubting the evidence of his senses, saw his master help himself desperately to the ob- noxious condiment, and eat it with great appa- rent satisfaction. The expression of surprise mingled with disgust and doubt in the serving- man's face was so extremely ridiculous, that it produced a fiesh roar, which very much scan- dalised and not a little chafed him. " That you may die roaring like Doran's bull ! what the divle you see to laugh at, it's hard to say. Bad manners to you, but it's a quare thing to be screeching at a man at his own table, any how. Perhaps it's a way they have in England. Faith, I believe you — so!" After this fashion the dinner passed off, Pat remaining in uncomfortable ignorance, and his master losing no opportunity of shewing him off. At last, when he was removing the 56 PADDIAVA. clieese, Mr. Casey turned to liiiii innocently, and asked why he mended liis suiull-clothes with a wax-end, when there was a tailor in the town ? Pat, pausing in his career, quickly reconnuitied tlie j)art, wlien the whole truth flashed upon him. The lo(jk he gave his mastej', and then the company, was the most exquisitely comic that the human face could represent, but the predominant expression was certainly joy at the exti'aordinary conduct of all parties being so happily explained. Dropping the cheese hastily upon the side- board he rushed to the kitchen, and by the squealing that ensued might be guessed the kind of punishment he was inflicting on the originator of the practical joke Passing over some years subsequent to this merry party, and the jovial fortnight which succeeded it — the dinners, the dances, the shootings, the huntings, the runaway mare, and Mr. Smith's imminent risk of suf- focation in a bog, we will wind up this sketch of Mr. Finn with a characteristic letter written by him to our fjiend Smith, on the oc- casion of a serious illness wliicli had befallen Mrs. Casey. MR. smith's IRISH LOVE. 57 Pat Finns Letter. "Pleas your Honour, — ''This comes with my humble duty, hoping that your honour is in good health, as it laves me at present, thank God, barrin the missis, who is sadly changed for the worse since Dunn went. Sure the master could never abide him, becase it's always getting worse she was, and so he tould him ; and says Dunn, says he, * Sure 1 can't control events,' says he,* Mr. Ca- sey ; but with the blessing o' God,' says he, * we'll see what the spring will do,' says he. And with that the master says, * Mr. Dunn,' says he, ' in the multitude of counsellors there's safety' (but it was doctors he meant, and I tould him so) ; * in the multitude of counsel- lors,' says he, repeating it, for he's most like a child now, ' there's safety, and I'm thinking of asking Mr. Kisbey to meet you,' says he. And with that Mr. Dunn, drawing himself up, says he, * Mr. Casey,' says he, * I've nothing to say against Mr. Kisbey,' says he, * but I'd rather not meet him. Anybody else I've no objection to,' says he. And with that the master got vexed, and some words passed be- D 2 68 PADDIANA. tune tlioin, and Dunn tuk lilinself off, not to come back. ' All, sure,' says I, ' you would not send for Kishey ! Is it Kisbcy, the coult, you'd have to the missis? Sure he killed Father Shea,' says I, * divle a lie in it, for I seen it;' but he wouldn't bo ruled. " I'll tell your honour how it was. It was ony last spring, and Father Shea was confined to the house, and the master tould me to run down to the town and inquire for him, and take him a hare, * for,' says he, * he's fand of hare soup,' says he, * and perhaps a drop will do him good.' And with that I went, and the door was open, and divle any one in it that I seen; so I walks into the kitchen, and there was Kit Flynn hating water. So I axed for Miss Biddy, that's t'housekeeper, and says, Kit, says she, ' Sure she's up with the master, and Mr. Kisbey's attinding him, and the cod- jutor's* in it; so,' says she, * go up, Pat, for he's mighty fand of hare, and the sight of it, may be, 'II revive him,' says she. So with that I goes gently up stairs, and the door was open and I walks in with a ' God save all here !' says I. * You're kindly welcome, — come in, 'says Mr. * Coadjutor, or curate. MR. smith's IRISH LOVE. 59 Ryan (that's the codjutor) ; * come in,' says he, ' Mr. Finn ; that's a fine hare you've got,' says he, feeling it ; * that will make a great soup,' says he, * for our poor friend : but I'm thinking he's most past it,' says he. And with that poor Biddy began to cry again, for I seen that her eyes were red, and it's full of trouble she was, the cratur. And I looked to the bed, and his rivirence was lying, taking no notice at all, but looking mighty flushed, and breathing hard, and Kisbey was mixing some stuff at the table in a tay-cup, and a quare face he made, sure enough. And Biddy couldn't stop crying and sobbing fit to break her heart, poor cratur! and she lifted her apron to her eyes, and faith I seen it's very stout she was. And Kisbey was mbving an to the bed, stirring the stuff, and looking hard at the patient. " ' Whisht, Biddy,' says Kisbey, * you'll disturb his rivirence, and maybe it's not long he'll be spared to you ; sure it's a smart faver he's got : but anyhow,' says Kisbey, ' I think this will do him, for it's a febbrifewdge,' says he, ' and will rouse him in the bowels,' says Kisbey ; ' and besides, there's a touch of the saline in it,' says he, ' stirring the cup again, 60 PAD 1)1 AN A. and iiiak'mga face ; 'it'sniy fiivouritc niodicine,' says lit', ' in a crisis.* ***Ochhone!' says poor Biddy, crying out, ' what would I do if I lost his rivirencti? Ah, Mr. Kisbey, you see the state I'm in,' says she : ' it's a poor case that you can't relave him,' says she, ' wid your crisis, and he hearty o'Thursday.' ' Ah, he aisy. Miss Biddy,' says tiie codjutor, slipping up behind her mighty quiet (sure it's him that got the parish after Shea), ' be aisy, Miss Biddy,' says he, laying the heel of his hand upon her shoulther, and his lingers came down rather far, indeed ; ' be aisy, Miss Biddy,' says he, ' for, by the blessing o' God, it will all be right wid him. Sure, if human manes can do it,' says he, ' Mr. Kisbey can do it; he's a man of skill,* says he, 'and his practice extensive. So keep up your heart, Biddy,' says the codjutor; * but it's well to be prepared for the worst. We're frail crea- tures, and life's but a s])an,' says he, draw- ing her towards him, mighty kind; 'sure I feel for him,' says he, ' greatly,' ])ressing her bussom. '* And while the codjutor was offering the Consolati(^n to Miss Biddy, I seen Kisbey houlding his rivirence by the nose, and trying MR. smith's IRISH LOVE. 61 to put the febbrifewdge into him ; but divle a taste he'd have of it at all, but kicked and struggled like mad. "'Ah! hould still, Mr. Shea, and take it,' says Kisbey : ' it's the cooling draught,' says he, * that will aise you. Sure it's mighty pleasant when you get it down.' says Kisbey, forcing it an him. Faith, I did not like to see his rivirence treated so rough. *''Well, Mr. Finn,' says the codjutor, * you'd better go down wid your hare, and give it to Kitty,' says he, ' for the soup. Maybe my poor friend will like it,' says he, ' when the draught has aised him.' But the divle any aising did Father Shea get, barrin death, for he died that night. Oh ! Vm fearful of Kis- bey. But, any how, on Monday he came to the missis, and when I tuck his horse, "'Good morning,' says I, 'Mr. Kisbey.' 'Morrow to you, Pat,' says he; 'how's the missis?' 'Faith, she's but poorly,' says 1. ' But, Mr. Kisbey,' says I, ' I hope you won't give her the febbrifewdge you gave Father Shea, the day he died.' ' Mr. Finn,' says he, mighty grand, ' it would be more becoming for you,' says he, ' to attind to your own affairs, and lave me to mine.' 62 PADDIANA. "Sure lio's nngry brcasc I see wliat he don* to his rivircnce, but divle a imicli I care foi the coult. So no more at present from youi humble servant to command, '♦ Pat Finn." " MICK doolan's head." G3 " ]SnCK DOOLAN'S HEAD." (First published in " The Sporting Magazine.") It was drawing towards the close of a winter's day, when an English sportsman plodded his way homewards across the country towards the capital town of the King's County. Being a stranger, and somewhat out of his beat, he ascended alow, rocky hill, in hopes to catch a sight of the distant tower, and ascer- tain, if possible, whether any road might be discerned tending in a direction towards it. Here a flat surface of bog met his view, stretching from the foot of the little eminence on which he stood, till it faded away into a distant and scarcely defined horizon. It was just the kind of " waste" to puzzle an improver and distract an agriculturist ; and even a " reclaimiuix " committee-man miirht be excused for giving it up in despair. Con- 64 PADDIANA. trary to the form of boj^s generally, it de- scended from the edge inwards, and there was a faint twinkle on its otherwise hazy surface, which gave promise of a central lake or lough. But it had charms for our Englishman. He was a '* man of many snipes," a perbecutor of the duck family, and his life had been, in more senses than one, a wild-goose chase. At the foot of the little hill, and on the very edge of the bog, stood a solitary cottage or cabin, built of the black bog-earth, and thatched with a material so exactly resembling the ground on which it stood, that it might have escaped detection but for a thin, waver- ing line of blue smoke, like a halfpenny riband, escaping by the chimney. The Englishman pounced at once upon the house ; and, walking through the ever-open door, laid his gun against the wall, and with the usual salutation," God save all here!" drew near the little pyramid of turf that was sending the blue riband up the chimney. Seated in tlie recess of the fire-place — and one might say in the chimney itself — was a man in the primest condition of human hap- piness. The hinges of his body were at acute *'mick doolan's head." 65 angles ; his elbows upon his knees ; his chin upon his fists ; his eyes upon the fire ; and the bowl of a very dark pipe occupied, without any perceptible stalk, the corner of his mouth. There was only one break in the bland repose of his figure, and that was where his pleasant vice had made an instrument to plague him. Had it not been for the effort observable in his closed eye as the tobacco-smoke ascended from the bowl of his doodeen, you would have said that the picture of still life was perfect. Moving' about the house, with her hand in a worsted stocking, in the foot of which was sticking a darning-needle with its pend- ant thread, was an exceedingly plump and comely women. Her fair skin, though not of the cleanest, shewing to advantage in the in- terregnum between the black locks of her capless head and the chocolate-brown of her dress, which, both in substance and colour, resembled a tanned fisherman's sail. Her naked arms and legs were also set off by the same contrast, aided by the black floor of the cabin. The stranger's entrance caused a small sen- sation. The man made a dive into the waist of the house to welcome him ; and the ladv, 66 PADDIANA. taking a handful of lier jietticoats as the readiest duster, swept them over the top of a three-hogged stool, and jdaccd it hy the fire for liis accommodation. The intruder ])lunged at once into the suhject of -svildfowl ; and if, instead of an Irisil hog, it had heen a summer lake in Lap- land about which he made inquiry, the ac- counts could scarcely have hern more pro- mising. From pretty good experience, he had learned to receive with caution the flat- tering accounts of game afforded by the Irish peasantry under such circumstances. He well knew their habit of telling what they thought would be the most agreeable news to the anxious sportsman. They see his eye brighten as they tell of countless flights of ducks and impossible strings of geese — of snipes. "Oghl" — as who should say, " Would you have me connt the sands on the soa-sliore?" And who has not felt that they have touched the right chord ? Can we help attaching some credit to the veriest quack that ever puffed, when he forces his nostrums upon us in every paper we read? — or totally disbelieve the pro- spectus of the most shameless bub])le that ever came under the 7th and 8th of Victoria? We ** MICK doolan's head." 67 are almost warmed into a belief in Irish pa- triotism, hammered into us as it is by the orators of Conciliation Hall. " Bedad," said Larry Rooney, *' if ye came here airlier ye'd have grate cracking. Sure there's a power of fowl, and a grate deal of hares in it." " Thrue for you," said his wife ; " sure the geese do be passing over the house for a quarther of an hour together." *' Ogh ! many times I wished I'd had a gun. 'Twas ony Thursday I was goen through the bog, and I seen thirty an em ; you might a'most have knocked 'em down with a turf, and they tired." " Faith, then, it's at night they do be coming to the lough. Murther! they're in such hapes ye'd think they'd ony the one lough to come to !" Who can wonder that the Englishman fixed an early day to open a campaign against such an unsuspecting enemy, never disturbed, by all accounts, since the bog was formed, and went home on his way rejoicing? The appointed day was lowering and threat- ening — all the better. Plenty of wind was an assurance of good sport : if a touch of rain, G8 PA 1)1)1 AN A. SO mucli the better. He bad cbosen bis time well — tbere was no moon ; and a black bank of clouds seemed spread like a cusbion for tbe brassy sun to fall uj)oii. The san«;iiine fowler dined early ; encura- bered himself with a Macintosh, filled his whisky-flask, put a comforter in bis pocket, loaded himself with No. 3, and, j)rovided with a coil of small rope to tie tO{^ether the proceeds of the adventure, trudged some four mllp-s to Larry Rooney's cottage. Arriving there, half-an-hour after the aj)- pointed time, his di>^aj)pointment was ex- cessive to find the master from home. Hi* had gone across the bog on some business — bad weather threatened, and such a thing as a gentleman, for the sake of a few ducks, going out in a dark night, with tbe prospect of a hurricane coming on, upon the wettest and most dan^ferous boij in tbe countv, when he might stay by the fire and wait for better weather, was, to bis simple notions, too great a folly to be expected. So, when the hotir passed, he held himself absolved from the enjjajjement. Mrs. Rooney bore with much jiatience the vituperative epithets freely bestowed upon her " MICK doolan's head." 69 absent liusband by the irascible sportsman, and put many innocent questions touching the nature of flight-shooting, and the ])ro- ceedings of those interested in that diversion ; much wondering, amongst other things, how gentlemen delicately reared can take pleasure in leaving their warm beds before daylight in the frost, and compass the destruction of fowl at a cost cheaply estimated at twenty times the amount of what the same could be pur- chased in the market, — with other wonder- ings, shewing her to be lamentably ignorant of human nature. At last the fowler lost all patience. " You have bi'ought me here at much in- convenience," quoth he. " I have suffered the misery of an early dinner. I am ridden by a nightmare before her time. You hear this howling wind, and see how rapidly it is getting dark. It is the very night for the purpose. There was a blast! it almost took us into the bog, house and all. To go I am determined, and as your husband is out of the way, you must come and shew me the lough." But here an unexpected difficulty appeared. 70 PADUIANA. '* All! I'll be atVaid of my life to go into it aftlier dark — sure its liauntcd !" "iVonsense!" said the Cowler; •*corae along; slicw me the lougli, and you can conic hack before it's quite dark, leave nic to find my way off the bog, and, never fear, I'll defend you from banshies ! " ** Faith, it's not the banshies I'm fearing, but iMick Doolan ! Sure his sperrit walks! It's as thrue as ye'r sittin there. He was mur- thered down in the hollow beyant, and the murthering villains cut the head aff of him, and buried him and it in the bog. Sure, I wouldn't crass it afther dark for all the goold ye could give me !" A considerable time was spent in this idle talk, but the fowler at length prevailed ; and Mrs. Rooney, fairly teased into compliance, gave a reluctant consent to shew the wished- for lough ; covenanting that, when she had pointed out the place, she should be allowed to return and send her husband to guide the i'owler back again ; the dangerous nature of the bog being such that no one, unless " to the numner born," could traverse it, even by day, without imminent risk. " MICK doolan's head." 71 The Icidy's scruples being overcome, she was ready enough to start before the evening quite closed in. Throwing. a cloak over her shoul- ders, she was in her walking dress without further preparation ; and after the unnecessary precaution, as it appeared, of shutting the door, she steered straight for the heart of the bog. They had scarcely entered upon that part from whence the turf had been cut, before the fowler perceived how difficult it would have been for him to find his way amongst the endless labyrinth of ditches, which in- tersected the place in all shapes and direction. Sometimes they had to be taken at a leap, and the stranger, as he marked the course of Mrs. Rooney's white feet over the dark water, envied the agility she displayed, and the extraordinary sagacity with which she steered her course. It was warm work, for the lady held on at a killing pace ; and when her companion halted for a moment to take breath, she urged him on with such phrases as "Hurry wid ye! it's a mile aff." But as they got into the bog the difficulty increased. They had to cross a part where the pools of mud covered with water entirely ceased, and the whole surface of smooth herbage, matted r2 PA I) 1)1 AN A. together by its roots, rested on a thin mass of Hiiid of unknown dej)tli. It was what is calh'd a " Shakinj^ ^^^^s> from the surface unduhiting as you traverse it Uke tlje swell of the sea. No jum])ing was there re([uired, but a brisk movement is indispensable, since at tlie sliglitest pause you sink down bodily upon the unbroken crust, till you aj)j)ear in the bottom of a basin. Mrs. Rooney was in- defatigable ; though she neither stopped nor turned, she indicated the parts to be avoided by pointing with her hand, and having more than once Houndered, knee deep or so, through the vegetable carpet, she struck off from her former course at an angle, loudly calling upon her companion to avoid the " well." No man could have been better disposed to pay respectful attention to the proverb than our Englishnum. It was his first appearance upon a shaking bog, and, jH'rhaj)s, the dangers were somewhat magnified in his eyes. He remembered to have seen, in the Dublin Mu- seum, the body of a man dressed in a hair shirt, which had been extracted from some such i>hice as this, after lying there for cen- turies in his uncomfortable guernsey. He imagined the company that might be still " MICK DOOLAN S HEAD. /O below, and the possibility of his dropping in amongst them. He mooted the case of being himself an occupant of some mnseum in a far-off century, and wondered if his fit-out would be ascribed to Stiilz or Moses. He liioujilit of Shane O'iNeile and his luxurious habits, and hesitating a moment at a bit of suspicious green before him, saw the horizon gradually rising round him, and the black water rushing through the carpet with a gasp- ing sound. Somehow, in the confusion, his heavy-nailed boots got entangled in the wiry herbage, and in the effort to pull them out he got deeper and deeper. The guide was nowhere to be seen — hidden, perhaps, behind the '* swell," or (not impossibly) foundered her- self. But help was nearer than he thought. Running rather than walking, or, perhaps, with a motion most like skating, was seen the dishevelled form of Mrs. Rooney, her cloak flying in the wind, her hair adrift, her arms tljrown upwards, and screaming in the ex- tremity of excitement, — '* Stamp! yersowl! if ye wi&h for life! Drag out yer legs and hurry! This way — any way — stani[) throJigh it! — oncet ye go through yo'r gone !" VOL. I. ^ 74 PADDIANA. The fowler was not slow to profit by the hint, reassured as he was by the presence of the guide. It required hut an effort; thougli where to tread was a matter of chance, since the oozing water had covered all the neigh- bouring surface. Onward skated Mrs. Rooney, unencumbered and light of foot : the waves grew less and less, and in a few minutes she paused upon a firmer surface to wait the coming up of her companion. The first thought of the latter, on escaping, was to register a vow against sliaking bogs generally, this one in particular, and passing a resolution to the effect that when he ven- tured next upon any bog at all it should be by broad daylight. " But where's the lough?" *' Faith, yer honour, I believe we'll be there diractly ; hurry this away," said she, striking off at a riijht anjjle. ** Sure we wouldn't miss it?" The stranger began to entertain some doubts u})on that point, and even of his guide; it was clear, either that she had missed her way or that tlie lough was a mere creature of the brain, invented by tliis respectable couple to lure him into the adventure, with a view to ** MICK doolan's head." 75 securing the small gratuity he might give them for their trouble. When, however, he heard the repeated ejaculations of surprise and anxiety, not unmixed with terror, which escaped from his companion, and saw the pace at which she led, requiring his utmost exertion to keep up with her, he dismissed such un- worthy suspicions. At last Mrs. Rooney stopped. ^' Faix, I be- lieve this is it," said she, with an air of doubt ; " anyhow, if it isn't we've missed it !" *' This ! — what ! this piece of water, about as large as a good-sized blanket !" '' Faith, there do be a grate deal of fowl here mostly." " You can't mean that they come to such a place as this ?" " Faith, they do so. Sure if yer honour was to take a sate on the dhry part, maybe ye'd get a duck." Although exceedingly annoyed at the total failure of the expedition, it was impossible to help laughing at the coolness of this propo- sition. " And so you would leave me sitting up here, waiting for the ducks, while you go com- fortably home ? " 76 PADDIANA. " Faitli, I wouldn't go home \)\ incsclf — sor- row fut. Ve tjiZL'd me to come, and sure I must stay wid ye, short or h)ng. Ah, wliy did ye taze me to come?" said she, giving way to her fears, and putting a fragment of her drapery to her eyes. "Sure I tliought I'd rej)int it." Things certainly looked unpromising. The night had fairly set in, and the wild fowl, if ever they did come there at the evening flight, which was extremely doubtful, had as- suredly been scared away and gone elsewhere. There seemed but one course to pursue — to return to Mr. Roouey's house with all speed, to abuse that respectable personage, to doubt him and liis on all future occasions, and to cherish the remembrance of the adventure as a valuable piece of experience in Irish character. But how to recross the shaking bog ? Mrs. Rooney admitted it to be impossible: and here was discovered the cause of her anxiety ; for, in making adctouj', tliey must ])ass over the scene of Mick Doolan's murder, — in her opinion a spot much more to be dreaded than the most dan- gerous shaking bog in the lantl. It was such a niijht as liurns might have said '* the devil would take tlic aii" in." The rain ])egan to pelt in lar^e drops against them " MICK doolan's head." 77 and the low, ragged scud, seemed only just to clear their heads. As they approached the fatal spot where Doolan had fallen, Mrs. Rooney's terror in- creased. She took especial care to keep the Englishman hetween her and the hollow, and gradually came close and closer to his side. Yet with an unaccountahle curiosity she con- tinued to look out, now before, then behind him, in the dreaded direction. At first she took him by a pinch of the sleeve, then she had him by the pocket ; till at length, as her scru- ples gave way to terror, she fairly took his arm and held it tightly with both her own. The fowler, who was not without some sense of the ludicrous, could not fail to see the ex- treme absurdity of this situation. Here was he on a wild bog, in a dark stormy night, with a terrified woman hanging on his arm, and al- most preventing his moving by her dodging about to look out for a "host. He thouo:ht of the fair arms that had hung upon the place now heavily occupied by Mrs. Rooney, and contrasting the difference of the circumstances, beijan to extract amusement from the incon- venience. He contrasted in his mind's eye the splendid dresses of the Castle drawing-rooms 78 PADDIANA. with the sailcloth gown of his present com- panion, and tho s])otlpss chaussures of the one scene ^itli the hiack stockings which Mrs. Rooney luid foiiiKl in the hog. In a spirit of hiiflfoonery, to which he was no stranger, he imagined himself in some hrilliant hall-room, and assuming such a mincing step as the na- ture of the surface admitted of, with an air conforming, proceeded to address his cora- jianion with some of those fade gallantries which he had known to pass current on the like occasions. Now he was promenading with her in the intervals of the dances, then wliispcring soft things in a corner. Presently he took her down to supper, and spread before her a repast that the Barmecide would have delighted to feign. To these polite attentions the poor woman, mystified by terror, and ]ierhaps doubting the sanity of her companion, answered by such phrases as ** Whisht!" — "Lord save us!" — " Will ye whisht, if ye plaze?" And such an- swers, together with licr unuiistakeahle ear- nestness of terror, gave a zest to this absurd hilarity. ** Do take some more champagne?" *' Ah, will ve whisht ? it's a shame for ve!" *' MICK doolan's head." 79 *' Try a jelly !" *' All, can't ye stop?" "How divine was that last waltz of Strauss ! We seemed to float in bliss! I never saw you look so divine ! Pull a cracker !" " Whisht, for the love of God!" said the poor woman, almost beside herself, and speak- ing close to her companion's face in a tremu- lous whisper, — " It's down beyant there, in the hollow, it was done ! Ah ! " cried she, with a shriek, *' what's that?" She trembled so violently, he was obliged to hold her arm to prevent her falling. '* I'll be upon my oath," she said, very ear- nestly, " I saw something moving there to the right, by the clear sky under the dark cloud. I'll swear," she cried, with increased earnest- ness, "if I was^o die this minute, I saw the figure of a man ; and I know icho it is! Ah, why did ye taze me to come?" The fowler looked towards the spot indi- cated, but could see nothing. 'J'he wind had now risen to a gale, and the darkness had in- creased to such a degree, that no object, how- ever near, could be seen except against the clearest part of the sky. He gave the poor woman credit for a lively imagination, and set 80 PADDIANA. down tlie apponranco wliich had terrified her so much as a phautoiii conjured up hy terror, knowing tliat they were in the act of travers- ing* tlie scene of a horrible murder, and tliat popular superstition had jioopled it with a spectre. The increased roaring of the gale almost prevented conversation, though Mrs. Rooney walked as close as might be to her pro- tector, and still obstinately kept a look-out in the dreaded direction. Perliaps the Knglishman began to think that the poor woman's fears were becoming too serious for jesting, for he ceased the ban- tering tone of his talk, and, when the wind and rain permitted, bestowed upon lier such small store of comfort as he was able to call up on the occasion. But while he was thus trying to rally her out of her fears she seized him vio- lently by the coat, and pointing with her other hand across his body, exclaimed, — "There! — there! — there! Do you see it now ? — do you see it now? Ah, why did you taze me to come ?" The fowler did look ; and certainly some o))ject was moving in the direction pointed to, but was only visible now and then as it ap- peared above the horizon. He called aloud, *'mick doolan's head." 81 but no answer was returned : perhaps the roaring wind may have rendered the question or the answer inaudible. Without giving way to the superstitious fears of his companion, the Englishman felt that there was something very suspicious in being dogged in this way, for he had now no doubt whatever of the reality of the first ap- pearance which Mrs. Rooney had noticed, but with a loaded double gun he felt pretty secure from any open attack. Still he thought it right to keep a sharp look-out upon his flanks and rear, and cocked both barrels in case of the worst. They had proceeded but a short distance when Mrs. Rooney screamed again, and di- rectly to their right there was, at the distance of a few paces only, a tall figure standing motionless. There could be no mistake this time, and the Englishman deniMudcd in a loud voice who it was; when the figure gradually began to sink into the bog apparently, slowly at first, then more rapidly, till it entirely dis- appeared. The Englishman knelt down as it descended to watch it against the sky, and saw it fairly sink into tlie ground, not rapidly, like a man phmgiiig by a false step into the bog, k2 82 PADDIANA. but with an equal and steady motion, till it was level with the surface. While he was risinjr from his knee, the attention of both was even more powerfully arrested than before, by seeing a sort of ball raise itself slowly from the surface of the bog to the height of six feet or so; and there, without any apparent support, become stationary. "It's his head!" shrieked Mrs. Hoor.ey, catching the fowler round the waist, and try- ing to hide her face under his arm. " Ah, why did you taze me to come?" It was indeed extraordinary, and, it may as well be confessed, alarming. It ivas a head ! He could have sworn to it. "Holy Father!" cried the poor woman, sinking on her knees, and covering her face ; "Holy Father! I see his eyes! It's Mick Doolan's head. I know him !" The fowler looked at the suspended head, and felt a weight of cold clay at his breast. He saw, as far as he could believe his eyes, and in spite of every effort of reason to banish the idea, a human head standing bodiless and without support against the sky. He strained his eyes in silent horror ; when suddenly, to his excited sense, the head seemed to grow I *' MICK doolan's head." 83 larger, and began to advance with a steady motion towards his own face. It was too much ; and with an unaccountable desperation he rudely shook off Mrs, Rooney, who was clinging to his knees, and fired a barrel at the advancing object, which instantly fell. No sooner was the shot fired than there was heard a peculiar tone, a sort of whine, and ending in what seemed a low mocking laugh, scarcely audible. But what was become of the lady ? She was lying motionless on the bog : she had fainted. Here was an embarrassing situation ! Tlie Englishman's first care was to recover the unfortunate woman, which, after a plentiful application of water and mud, he effected ; and having loaded again, left her sitting up half stupified, while he went towards the spot where the extraordinary appearances had shewn themselves. Here he walked about in every direction, called aloud, but no answer was returned ; neither were there any signs of Mick Doolan or his head. Whilst occupied in this way, the fowler's attention was drawn to a splashing noise in the direction of the place he had left, and he in- stantly became aware that Mrs. Rooney had 84 ADDIANA. (lecainped, and, " winj»;e(l with terror," was making her way aero^s the l)og witli astonish- ing speeil. To lose her would be to be lost indeed ! He called after her, but it seemed to have the effect of increasing lier exertions to get away. In an instant the thought flashed through his mind, bow persons lost in such places were prone to wander about in circles without a hope of escape, and that such a way of passing the lingering winter's night would be extremely unpleasant, setting out of the question the company of the headless Doolan. He pictured to himself how in his wanderings he might come again nj)on the shaking bog, and totally unable, " Through the palpable obscure, to find His uncouth way," should, without d(>ubt, there perish miserably. His imagination, wrought up to a painful state of excitement, pictured to him the scene of the horrible murder and its circumstances ; — the scuffle, the shrieks, the very sound of the heavy blows, the fall, the savage exultation of the nmrderers, and tiie groans of the dying man, mixed with the grating of the rough knife used in the savage act of decapitation. " MICK doolan's head." 85 All this he saw in detail, yet at a glance and in an instant of time ; and a cold and creeping tremour passed over his flesh. He was by no means superstitious, but he felt that the objects he had seen were not of this world. lie had actually watched the figure of a man as it slowly sank into the earth, and a head rise from the spot where the body disappeared, and sustain itself unsupported in the air ! Nay, he had seen the features of the face, in his heated fancy; and Mrs. Rooney, who knew the mur- dered man, had recognised him, and proclaimed aloud that she did so. If the object he had fired at had been of flesh and blood, it must have been struck and killed at such a distance; but supposing it to be missed, the body of a living man could scarcely have escaped the search, or retired without noise. He might perhaps have been ashamed to say that he gave way to superstitious terror, but he felt almost persuaded that the spiritual trunk of Doolan was before him, while the " mopping and mowing" head was manoeuvering to turn his flanks and attack him in the rear. In a word, he felt a sensation which few people care to acknowledge; but certainly his predominant feeling was an anxiety to quit that " bla&tcd 86 PA 1)1)1 ANA. heath ;'* and that he might cftect that purpose, it was a])sohiteIy iiecessai y tliat he slioiihl catcli Mrs. llooney. She was already at a considerahle distance, as could be inferred from the faint noise of her passage, but the fowler started with a good- will and strained every sinew in the chase. Sometimes he evidently gained upon her, for she was floundering close in his front, but some untoward plunge into tiie mud would cause him to lose ground again. But it was a sort of life-and-death chase, and he dashed forward, hallooing and entreating her to wait till he came up, but all in vain : his shouting rather increased her speed, as doubtless sug- gesting to her terrified senses that she had some demon at her heels. Accident favoured the pui-suer at last. Just as he began to despair of overtaking the fair fugitive, a lull of the wind enabled him to hear a low moaning close before him, and there was IMrs. Uooney up to her arin- pits in a liaro-liDJe (a pitfall dug in the runs of those animals), and from which she was vainly trying to extricate herself. So con- fused and terrified was tlui poor woman, that she screaniL'd and struggled still more when " MICK doolan's head." 87 she was approached, and made astonishing efforts to escape from the pitfall, which, however, is no easy matter, since the hole, small at top, is cut away on all sides as it descends, to take from the poor animal any chance of a purchase in endeavouring to raise himself out of the water. Having caught his game, the fowler was se- cure of not remaining all night upon the bog; and he trusted that, if left to herself for a short time, Mrs. Rooney would learn to distinguish between him and the ghost. Seating himself, therefore, on the turf, he calmly allowed her to struggle, throwing out a remark occasionally upon the extreme folly ofsj)lashing in the water when, by accepting a little assistance, she might be so easily extri- cated from her difficulties. The event justified his expectations ; and after much pulling and hauling, several relapses into the pitfall — for she was a compact and rather heavy figure — Mrs. Rooney was dragged up completely ex- hausted, and in a condition that might be guessed at, but, fortunately, could not be seen. After a little rest, and a sup from the whisky-flask, which did wonders, tiie pair 88 PAD 1)1 AN A. proceoded on tlulr wav ; and after various flonndrrinpjs in deep holes — nundjcrlcss falls auionj^st the small turf-stacks set up to-day, arrived at Larry Rooney's cottage at last. The master had not yet returned, so, ad- ministering another drop of cordial to the lady, the sportsman plodded his solitary way homeward. It is not easy to paint the astonishment with which he was received in the well-lighted dininij-room, or the roar of lauf^hter that succeeded when his friends recognised him. A looking irlass was speedily jiroduced, and certainly a more grotesque object could scarcely have been seen, coated as he was from head to foot with bog nmd, and not only his face, but every thing about him of a deep black. He must have been a man, indeed, devoid of curiosity who had not felt cuiioiis to clear up the mysteries ^^hi(■h hung upon this night's adventure. At an earlv hour nc^xt morninfr our Englishman was on bis way to Larry Rooney's cottage. The worthy couple were at home, but there was an air of reserve and sheepish- ness about them which he could by no means account for. The woman blushed and pouted. ** MICK doolan's head.'* 89 niid Larry was fidgetty. He, however, took liis seat by the fire, and trusted tliat a httle time woukl bring matters to light : he also brought out his whisky-flask, which had done such wonders the night before, and insisted upon "glasses round." Larry soon began to thaw. " Bedad, Captain, that was a great shot ye made at the hat ! " " Hat! what hat?" *' Och ! murther ! ye thought it was jNIick Doolan's head ye were fowling ; hut herts the lieadV So saying, he produced a hat pretty considerably riddled with No. 3. A little cross-questioning drew out the whole truth. Larry, it appeared, despairing of the appointment being kept in such weather, crossed the bog to see a farmer on some busi- ness on the other side. On his way back, he thought it as well to make a cast towards the lougli, in case his guest should have come after all. He had nearly overtaken the pair just as they started on the way homeward, and being struck with the jocose tone of the conversation, certain misgivings crossed his mind ; the foolish fellow became jealous, and resorted to the dangerous experiment of watch- 90 PADDIANA. in-; Ills wife. Krlyinjjj upon tlie darkness, lie kept j)arallcl to tlicni in a stooping posture, and it was only when passing a part of the sky brighter than the rest, or fancying him- self safe in the distance, tliat lie ventured to stand nj)right, when his presence became re- vealed. On these occasions lie had sunk down on the bog; and in the last instance, having incautiously approached very near, he calcu- lated rightly upon frightening his wife at least, by raising his hat upon the long slender stick he carried, when it was mistaken, as he riglitly conjectured it would be, for Mick Doolan's head suspended in the air. Mrs. Rooney was naturally a little put out at her husband's unjust suspicions, hence the passing cloud upon her comely face; and the flight-shooter fult that his share in the adven- ture, if not of consequence enough to " point a moral," would assuredly *' adorn a tale " if it became known ; so he thought It ])rudent to bestow a small amount of hush-money upon Larry, under the name of rennnieration for the old hat, with some sage advice touching un- worthy suspicions and too practical experi- ments on the nervous system. "Well, faith," said Larrv, at last, in his "MICK doolan's head." 91 usual cheery tone, " I believe yer honour's right ; but when I heered ye talk of yer bliss and yer crackers, the divle a bit of me knew what to make of it at all!" 92 PADDIANA. STILL-HUXTIXG. Disguise it as you will, but there is a natural love of elbow-room amongst mankind which drives them into waste places, — to the moors and the mountains, to Ben Lomond or Barnes : and it is strongest in us of the Lack- land family. We hate gates and hedges ; tliey are counsellors that 'Meelingly persuade" us what we are. We grasp at the ghost of a tenure, and on a wild heath seem to have and to hold by Nature's own act and deed. We have no friendly feelings towards him who threatens man-traps and spring-guns, and de- test those two magistrates who have stopped the footpath. How we feel the insulting curt- ness of *' Beware," " No thoroughfare," and have our sympathies enlisted for the poor trespassers so cruelly menaced at the corners STILL-HUNTING. 93 of plantations ! But, above all, we loathe the arrogant benevolence of him who tells us to ** Mind the doof." We see through this fellow. It is an attempt to throw upon a generous animal the odium of his selfish con- servancy, and save his grass under the cloak of philanthropy. We are tempted to exclaim, *• We don't mind him the least!" and have a rebellious excitement in the doubt of being: gnawed and worried. It was with such feelings strong upon him that our sportsman toiled, through an August day, over one of the wildest portions of the Bog of Allen. There is beauty and sublimity even in a bog : it is vast, silent, solitary. He had the dirty acres all to himself. Not a sound was heard, save, perhaps, the low twit- tering of some siskin or mountain-finch com- ing out to reconnoitre the intruder upon his solitary reign. Neither tree, hill, nor living creature broke tlie level uniformity of the horizon: "the wide o'erhanging firmament" rested u])on an ocean of purple flowers. Choosing a dry spot, carpeted with young heather, interspersed with huge bosses of fine grey moss, while the air was scented with the delicious odour of the bog myrtle, he threw 94 PADDIANA. liis gun and game-bag on the ground, and stretched himself along to enjoy the tranquil beauty of the scene. There are times when the spirits boil over, and our sense of happiness can only find relief in some overt act. We would give the world for a gallop, or a game at leap-frog, or the power to throw a summerset, or the license to shout aloud ; and happy are they who can train the outbreak into the semblance of music. In his ecstacy the sportsman mangled several Italian melodies of the day, ruthlessly tortured a gay little chanson a hoire, murdered "Alice Gray" outright, and still finding that the safety-valve required easing, leant his head against a tussuck and gave with that hearty goodwill, — that unmistakeabl^ con arnore, only seen in those who sing without an audience — the well-known morceau of Justice Wood- cock : — " When I courted a lass that was froward and shy, I stuck to her stuff" till I made her comply. I took her so lovingly round the waist, And I smack'd her lips and I held her fast. Oh ! these were the joys of our dancing days," &c. " Bc'lad, ye may say that!" said a voice within ten yards of him ; " that's the way 1 STILL-HUNTING. 95 coorted Kitty. If ye'cl been consaled on the premises, ye couldn't have tould it better!" If a thunderbolt, or a meteoric stone, or a man of the moon, had fallen into the bog beside the grouse-shooter, he could not have been more astonished than at this most un- looked-for greeting. And the object from whence the voice proceeded was not of a kind to diminish his feeling^ of wonder. Between two large bunches, or tussucks, of the grey moss with which the place abounded, there peered forth the good-humoured face of a man about thirty, lying flat upon the bog, while the moss nearly meeting above his head, and coming down in a flowing, pear-like shape on either side of his face, gave him much the appearance of wearing a judge's wig, though the countenance shewed nothing of the judge's gravity. The first impulse of the shooter was to start up and seize his gun, the second to burst out into loud laughter. "Faith, it's true for you!" said the man, getting up and taking a seat near liim ; '* but how the divle ye came to knovv it, sorrow know 1 knovv. It's shy enough she was at first, but it's meself that stuck to her. I'll tell 96 I'ADDIANA. yer honour ;ill about it wliile we sit aisy here. Divle a much I cared for Laiity (that's her father). ' Let her be,' says he; ' wait awliile, sure the heifer's young. Any how, ye'r rough in yer ways,' says he. ' Faith, Mr. llickey,* says I, * it's becase I'm in airnest.' ' Divle a doubt of it,' says he ; ' but that's no rason w hy ye*d be crushing my choild wid yer hugs. Any liow,' says Lanty, ' I'll not consint to it yet; sure I can't spare hei' till we've got in the praties. What could I do wid all the crap on my hands? So hands atV's fail- jilay,' says he. ' Besides,' says Lanty (sure he's a cute ould chap, that one), 'where would ye take her if ye were married itself? Ye'd bury her under- ground,' says he, ' in the quare place ye have down along the canal. Faith it's no place to take me daughter to, and she bred up in a slate liouse, and every convanience in Killbeggan. If she did consint, it's not for want of better offers at home, never fear. There's Burke of Athy, .^ays he's proud to discoorse wid her when he conies this away ; and it's not a week ago,* says ho, ' that C)olalKui, {\io grocer, sent me the half-gallon of Farliaujent : it's long since yo did the like «>' tliaJ, or even poteen itself. Faith,' says he, ' the laste ye could do STILL-UUNTINC;. 97 would be to fill the keg in th' other room, and build me up a stack o' turf for the winter,' says he. ' Och, murther!' says I; * Mr. Hicky, ye'r hard upon me,' says I, * wid yer Burkes and yer Oolahans. Is it Oolahan ? sure ye would'nt marry yer daughter to an oiild man like him? The divel a taste of a grandfather ever ye'd be, barrin what I'd be shamed to mention. Come,' says I, ' Mr. Hickev, ye'll give me yer daugliter — she's fond o' me. Cla]> hands upon that,' says I, and ' I'll fill the keg with the first runnings — tiie raal stuff,' says I ; ' oncet ye taste it ye'll put Oolahan's Parliament in a jar and throw stones at it. And I'll build ye the stack if ye'll wait till the turf's dhry ; I've a rare lot o' the deep cutting,' says I, * as hard as stones.' " Well, faith, 1 tuck him the sperrits, and tlie turf, but the divle a Kitty I got; and 1 heerd it's aften they went to tay wid ould Oolahan, and made game o' me sperrits and me. * Faith,' thinks I, * the next thing '11 be I'll have the gauger (sure he's Oolahan's bro- ther-in-law) and tir army destroying me still, and meself in Phillipstown jail. But, any how,' says I, ' I'll be up to ould Lanly, as cute as ye are. So when the next dark night coTne, VOL. I. F 98 PADDIANA. I luck some of tlie ])o}s \\'u\ me, and iheir harses, and went to Lanty's, and soon 1 brou