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FIFTEEX CEXTS EACH. ■j0*r A Full Descriptive Catalogue free to any cue. .-■* Desperate Game A Capital Match An Unhappy Pair A Ticket of Leave A lioin antic Att'a A Day Well Spe A Pet of the Pn’ Arrah DeBaugh An Unwelcome Return Alarmingly S ; >picious A Lite’s Rev.mge At Last Adrift An A wfu 1 Cri min a 1 Brigands of Calabria Better Half Jr' Captgh Smith Cumin Man Did I Dream it Domes tic •Felicity Der r , wo Stfbprises Driven to the Wall D looking sternly at him , he starts , then recovers himself , and bows in an off¬ hand manner.) Em. (introducing slightly) Colonel Easely. Aug. (bowing) Colonel, I have the honor. Ah, hem ! The Colonel bows stiffly , and turns up the stage—Lady Emily gives him a dep - recating sign and look. * Aug. (aside) What’s that fellow doing here—making love to my lady? Monstrous green if he is—a woman who loses her fortune if she marries again. Em. You have brought the papers for my examination, Mr. Sharp ? Aug. Why, not exactly. The fact was, I was absent from home upon importaat business—to say the truth, the Derby, and my revered uncle, not being able to pay his respects to your Ladyship himself, dispatched a mes¬ senger off to me—the old slyboots guessed where I was—begging me to drive over here at once—and telling me that the papers should be sent to meet me here. They are not yet come, I hear, but they must arrive short¬ ly ; and, in the meanwhile, I am very much your Ladyship’s obedient very humble servant. (bows Em. I have no doubt the papers will be here befoie long, (bell rings) But there, we have the bell before luncheon. You will excuse me a moment— there are books here to amuse you. Sharp bows—the Colonel comes down l., about to go , turns looks up and down at Sharp with arrogance , while Lady Emily fetches bonnet and shawl. Em. (c. shakes finger at him) Colonel, Colonel! (goes a. Col. ( following her) But you put me to a cruel test. (exit Lady Emily a. warning him 8 ALARMINGLY SUSPICIOUS. Col . (going, l.) Oh, for a little peace and quiet I ( exit l. Aug. (coming down, after looking at books and pamphlets on table) Not a Sporting Magazine, not a Racing Calender, not even a Bell’s Life I And she calls that having books that will amuse me. There’s no accounting for people, (going to glass r. and arranging neckcloth) Ah, ah ! Not so bad, Augustus i You can do execution, you rogue. But you mustn’t allow your fascinating powers to be exercised here, you rascal! You mustn’t—you mustn’t—you mustn’t. Ah, confound the tie ! There, that will do^-Au- gustus is himself again ! ( coming down) No, it wouldn’t do. It would be too hard upon her Ladyship. I must check my gallantry, and leave that poor little heart alone. It’s a pity though, that I can’t try it on with her, for she’s a devilish pretty woman, and a sharp hand too, and would make a capital wife for me. But a woman who loses all her property, all her charms, in fact, when she marries again. Pooh, she mustn’t be thought of. Augustus, my friend, you are in the market as a marrying man, you are as pretty a piece of goods as a woman need bargain for, and you must marry an heiress, my boy. No, no 1 I am not to be done so. A pretty face won’t pay ; and I must have my price. Enter &Hr Barnabas and Lady Buzzbite, l., i oith dress slightly changed. Lady B. Ah, Mr. Augustus Sharp, of the firm of Sharp and Sharp, our dear lamented cousin’s lawyers. Aug. (bows) Lady Buzzbite, Sir Barnabas, I am your most obedient. (aside) Monstrous slow people those—infinite bores! Lady B. (c.) You come upon Lady Emily’s business, Mr. Sharp. Aug. (r.) Why, partly, and also for the pleasure of seeing poor Lady Emily. Lady A. You may well say, poor Lady Emily- Buz. You may well say poor- (Lady B. looks at him sharply; he stops alarmed Lady B. For you know that if it should be discovered—hum ?—or if, .rather, by any imprudence—hum ?—she should contract another marriage, she loses all poor dear Hunksley’s fortune, (inquisitively) hum ? Aug. But Lady Emily is too knowing a hand- Lady B. To marry again. Humph ! The heart’s a weak piece of mechanism— Buz Very weak when you think of marrying. (Lady B. as before Lady B. And it will not always go as it should, however prudence may wind it up. And this Easely is an old flame, and people do say— Aug You don’t mean to say—eh ? Lady B. I say nothing; but people will talk — Buz. Yes people will talk — (Lady B. as before — aside) A confounded deil too much, sometimes. Lady B. And some wicked tongues go so far as to say there was a secret marriage. Of course I don’t believe it. (aside) He knows nothing. Aug. (aside) Ah,,ha! A second marriage is in the wind. And in that case, the property comes to the Buzzbites. If I remember right, there’s a little female Buzzbite, who will soon be marriageble. Attention, Augustus. These Buzzbites are not so slow, after all. (aloud, goes to Lady B. shaking her hand cordially) My dear Lady Buzzbite, 1 am enchanted at che hazard which has enabled me to meet you down here. My dear Sir Barnabas! (shaking hands) You are a sporting man, I think— Buz. Why, the sport I am allowed to have is not very sportive— (Lady B. as before) Well, my love, as you please. Aug. I can give you the last and most correct news of the turf. (takes him aside Enter Colonel Easely l. Col . Lady Emily not here, and it is past the usual hour, (takes out watch) But she’s always too late. Lady B. (pulling Sir B. by the coat — aside) What are you doing, Sir Bar¬ nabas—where’s your observation ?- ALARMINGLY SUSPICIOUS. * Buz. My observation, dear? Pm sure I observe all you tell me. Lady B. You've missed a symptom. The Colonel’s grumbling like any arrant husband. Col. Really, want of exactitude in a lady of the house is unpardona¬ ble.—How can there ever be peace and quiet in a house without regular habits ? Lady B. {aside to Sir B) Very suspicious, that? {aloud) Lady Emily is so amiable, that no one can suspect her of negligence Colonel. CU. ( coldly , looking at watch) Oh, certainly, Lady Emily is doubtless- very amiable, but I wish she’d be a little more exact. Lady B. (nudging her husband — aside) Hey ?—symptom. Col. But patience is a virtue we must learn in woman’s company, {Lady B. nudging her husband Buz. Yes, dear—that it is. Enter Lady Emily r. Em. All assembled 1 I trust I have not kept you waiting. Col. {looks at watch) You are at least a quarter of an hour behind your time, Lady Emily. (Lady B. as before Buz. I see love.* Em. (c.) Has luncheon been announced? Col. No, not yet; but that’s no reason. ( Lady B. as before Buz. I’m wide awake, sweet. Em. Then, if not exact, I am, at least, not too late. Col. To be sure, exactitude is decidedly no female virtue, although so bright an example is set in the highest circles. (Lady B. as before Buz. Yes, yes, that’ll do, dear. Em. I am grieved to have failed in this politeness, but (to Lady B.) I was occupied with trying on a new dress ; and you know how to admit such an excuse for forgetfulness of time. Col. (ironically) Oh, doubtless, the dressing table is always a sufficient reason, in a lady’s mouth, for all derelictions. Lady B. as before Buz. Thank’ee, my love, a nod’s as good as a nudge. Em. (playfalty) It is the only throne you men have left us ; and in these revolutionary days, we are glad to cling to what scraps of power we may be still possessed of. Col. No doubt you cling to the flounces and furbelows, in which yout think your power consists, although the vassals you would subjugate may be no better than a herd of coxcombs. Lady Buzzbite pinches her husband so hard , that he moves away, rubs his arm , Buz. I’m sure I must be black and blue. Em. (turning away, with a disdainful shrug of the shoulders) It seems my servants are behind-hand to day. Col. Where the mistress of a house is not exact, the servants never are. There can be no peace and quiet in such an establishment. Lady Buzzbite tries to pinch her husband again , but misses her aim , and , turn¬ ing , makes an angry face at him. Enter Servant, l. Serv. These papers have just arrived for Mr. Sharp, my Lady. Em. Let them be laid in the library, (to Sharp) We will look at them this evening, or to-morrow morning. Aug. At your Ladyship’s service. Serv. (gives Sharp a letter) This letter was brought for you at the same time, Sir. Aug. You’ll allow me. (comes forward and opens letter Em. (to Servant) Is luncheon ready ? Serv. Directly, my Lady. (exit L. Aug. (who has been reading his letter , with marks of astonishment ) Humph 1 ha 1 no ! ah ! whew ! Ah ha ! a h ha l • Re-enter Servant , l. ^ 10 ALARMINGLY SUSPICIOUS. Serv. ( announcing) Luncheon is on the table ! Em. At last, Colonel 1 The Colonel, goes up stage grumbling, pays no heed. JSir Barnabas advances to offer Lady Emily his arm; Sharp springs in before him vnth assiduous gal- lantry. Lady Emily accepts his arm somewhat ccquetishly. Em. Colonel! The luncheon you so impatiently expected is waiting you. Col. Ah ! ( goes to offer Lady Emily his arm , but seeing she is engaged, says aside) Confound the fellow’s impudence. (offers arm to Lady Buzzbite. Lady B. (on going out, turns to seize the arm of her husband, who follows her, and tries to avoid her gripe) Symptoms! (with a sneer) Sir B. I don’t know what your discernment may think of this, but I call it alarmingly suspicious. (exeunt l. Mary Mum peeps in r., watching them out. Mary, (alone putting room to-rights ) It’s all very well—it’s all very well. Lady Emily is very kind, that I must say for her. But I cannot stand this kind of life much longer. Put a padlock upon a woman’s mouth ! it’s mon¬ strous! it’s abominable ! and that woman a lady’s maid, unheard of! To be condemned to purse one’s mouth, and bite one’s lips, a^id say, “Yes sir,” and “No Ma’am,” and not a word more; and with one’s fellow servants, plain “Yes,” and “No.” Oh, it’s not to be borne ! Transportation for life upon a desert island would, be nothing to it. (comingforward) For there, I could talk, at least, to the birds, and the beasts, and the fishes, and the trees, and even the sticks and stones, and have something more to say than •“Yes Sir,” and “No Ma’am.” It’s treating a poor girl worse than a brute beret. The birds can chirp at their ease, ahd the dog can bark, and I alone of all the big created world, am bid to hold my tongue, (with increasing vol¬ ubility) But I'll have my revenge for it, one of these days; and, if ever I •come to get married, which, thank my stars ! I hope to be—for I never in¬ tend to die an old maid—won’t I pay it off on my spouse. For every word he says, I’ll say ten—for every ten he dares to utter, I’ll set it off with a thousand. I’ll make up for lost time. I’ll talk—talk—talk—talk—talk— I’ll talk all the morning—I’ll talk at noon—I’ll talk all night. I’ll never leave him a moment’s rest, and then, if he complains, I’ll tell him to go to Lady Emily for his damages. She owes me them. I must say, too, that, if it comes for a character for descretion, secrecy, and silence, she would swear herself black in the face that there was never a poor girl on the space of the earth—no, not one in the whole wide ’versa! world, who for holding her tongue, and never speaking a word—no, not one sometimes in a whole long day of four-and-twenty-hours—and I don’t know that it hasn’t more—I am sure' it sometimes seems so—and for being the very pattern of silence, is to be compared to Marv Mum! (throws herself into a chair, and fanning herself with a handkerchief ) There! I’ve had it out now, and it’s very well I have, for I was near choking. Enter Sir Barnabas and Lady Buzzbite, L. Lady B. Come Sir Barnabas—let’s consult in quiet - Buz. I’m sure I’ve no objection to a little quiet, if I can get it my love. Lady B. Pshaw! What’s to be done now. Ah — see, here we have Mrs. Mum. What are you doing here, my good girl ? Mary. Nothing, Ma’am. Lady B Then you’ll have the kindness to leave us, if you please. Mary. Yes ma’am. Lady B. I shall not forget ynu you, Mary Mum. I may want to have a little talk with you in private- Buz. Yes, we may want a little talk with you in- (Lady B.’s look stops him Lady B. (continues) I see you are willing to be obliging to your lady’s guests. Mary. So, so, ma’am (Lady B. turns away impatiently Mary, (going-—aside) I hope she liked it! At all events, if I can’t talk, I ALARMINGLY SUSPICIOUS. Ac can be provoking—and that’s some comfort. \txii *. Lady B. The girl is a pert hussey-— Buz. She’s a very pretty girl, my dear. . . Lady B {sharply) Sir Barnabas ! ( continues ) But, thanks to the matri¬ monial symptoms, we shall do without her. But, hark, I hear some ono coming. Come this way, we will take up our post of observation again. They retire to the veranda , Sir B.jollowing Lady B. on tiptoe. Enter Colonel Easely , i ..—he looks absent and out of humor, and nearly shuts the door in the face of Lady Emily , who follows him. Em. Take care, Colonel! You nearly shut the door in my face. Col. ( coldly ) Your pardon—I did not see you. Em. I observed as much. . Lady Buzzbite , in the background , makes sign to her husband. A pause , during which the Colonel walks up and down angrily , and Lady Emi¬ ly observes him uneasily. Em. Really, Easely, I must again call you to account for your conduct. Whv did you thus start up, and leave Mr. Sharp so abruptly? Col , It was your society, my Lady ; and you seemed both of you, so agreeably entertained with one another, that I thought to do you a service in leaving you. (turns awa y During the following dialogue, whenever Lady Buzzbite observes an.angry ges- ture , she repeats her sigm to her husband. Em. {showing symptoms of impatience ) Certainly, Colonel, if you dome the honor of being jealous, I cannot but be highly flattered. Col. Jealous ? I jealous? and of such a coxcomb?—that would be too ab- SU i£vi. If I put that interpretation on your conduct, Colonel, it was to ex¬ cuse vour impoliteness and ill-humor. Col. As if it were not quite enough to put any sensible man m a passion, to sit there and be a witness to all your coquetry with that infernal fellow. Em. Really, Colonel, if you resume that horrid barrack language again, I must decline all further conversation with you for the present, {turns away Col. No, Lady Emily, I insist upon your hearing me, now you know my mind. Em. Insist! Oh, that is too much. Col. Yes, Madam, for I cannot see you any longer showing such marked and decided attention to a man who was evidently making love to you, and in the grossest manner, without expostulation. And hear me you shall. Em. Once for all, I am not used to such manners. . ( going Col. {following , and seizing her arm) Madam, you shall not leave me thus/ to Return and listen to all the cursed flatteries of that consummate i 0 °Em. {enraged) Ah, Colonel! {seeing Lady B. and Sir B. on the veranda) For Heaven’s sake, moderate yourself!—we are observed. The Colonel turns round, leaves Lady Emily, and goes angrily to the other side of the stage _ Lady Buzzbite makes a triumphant and menacing gesture, and then disapears with Sir B. Enu (a; ter a pause) Ah, they are gone J See, Colonel, to what you ex¬ pose us by this unseemly violence. Col. Well, well ! I was wrong, perhaps, to allow my passion to push me to such lengths. I beg your pardon, Mad Jh. Em. Easely ! Col. But you must own, that yoh allowed your spirit of coquetry to carry you away, and that I had cause to feel vexed and irritated You were all eyes and ears, during the whole luncheon, for every glance and word of that ridiculous fop. * , , „ Em. if I accepted Mr. sharp’s arm, it was because Colonel Easely waa too heedless to offer me his arm—if I listened to his nonsense at luncheon, it 12 ALARMINGLY SUSPICIOUS. was because Colonel Easely was-too well employed upon himself, to be as entertaining as he was of yore. Col. There may be some truth in this, I must admit, and I make my con¬ fession humbly ; but on your side, no more coquetry, Lady Emily. Em. ( playfully ) And, on yours, no more indifference. Colonel Easely. Col. No more marked attention to other men. Em. A little more attention to one woman. Col. Promised—I repent! Em. Agreed—[renounce! Col. Lady Emily, you are more charming than ever. Em. Colonel Easely, you are becoming dreadfully fascinating again. They both, smile — Colonel Easely looks around, sees nobody , puts his arm about her waist,, is about to kiss her. Aug , (without ) Where are they all! Col. { moving away) Ah, confound the fellow 1 we can never have a mo¬ ment's peace and quiet. Em. { with warning finger) Hush ! Enter Augustus Sharp , L. Aug. Ah! I have the extreme felicity of finding your Ladyship. Em. ( coldly ) I owe you some excuse, Mr. Sharp, for using so little cere¬ mony with you ; but in the country we have acquired the habit of paying so little attention to the formalities of the world, that we forget ourselves? Aug. All that Lady Emily does, must be dictated by a sense of ladylike delicacy and feminine grace. Lady Emily turn away coldly, without answering , and talks aside with Colonel Easely. Enter Sir B. and Lady B. by flat. Lady B. {to Sir B.) So the presnee of Sharp has caused them to calm down a bit; or, take my word for it, they would have snapped on till mid¬ night, just as you do at home, Sir Barnabas. Buz. Permit me my dear—you know it is always you- Lady B. Hold your tongue, Sir Barnabas, and don’t talk nonsense. Open your eyes and shut your mouth, I say ; we shall have plenty of symptoms more to add to our ammunition store. What a fire we will then pour in. (i comes forward,) Your garden is charming, La'dy Emily. What say you to a general stroll ? Aug. {springing forward) Allow' me, Lady Emily, to offer you my arm. Exquisite must it be to wander in such a garden, with such a companion. Em. {coldly) Thank you Mr. Sharp, I am too tired. And besides, if I go out I have promised my arm to the Colonel. V Col. And that is a privilege which no earthly force could make me re¬ nounce. Lady Buzzbite, on the point of nudging her husband , stops short,—they look surprised into each other's faces. Lady B. (apart) Ha ! Buz. {apart) Hum! Em. You are very kind, Colonel. I certainly should not deprive yon of a privilege you value. Col. And which I cannot value too highly. {Lady *nd Sir B. as before Lady B. {aside) Hum! Buz. {aside) Ha, my love, the suspicious symptoms you promised don't come. # Lady B. Nonsense, there’s some mistake, {aloud) My dear Lady Emily, I suppose the beauty of the garden is due to your own task. Col. Lady Emily shows exquisite taste in all she does. Sir B. twitches Lady B.’s dress. She pulls it angrily away , witkrOkii seeing s Em. No great taste is necessary, when the natural love is so strong. I am so fond of flowers and their perfume, that I would have them tlwayi around me. ALARMINGLY SUSPICIOUS. IS Col. I fly to anticipate your wishes. The Colonel hastens out by the Veranda , and marly upsets Sharp , t oho looks indignant. Lady B . {triumphantly to her husband) Ah, I thought he couldn’t stand it this forced air of gallantry long. He has vanished, you see. Symptoms! A true husband. Buz. (aside) I only wish I had such a chance. Sharp. ( advancing ) If your ladyship would allow me to exercise my poor taste in culling a boquet from your garden. Em. Thank you. I would on no account give you the trouble. The Colonel hurries back again by flat f with a small nosegay in his hand. Me nearly upsets Sharp again. Col. ( out of breath) I have ventured to fetch you some of the sweetest flow¬ ers of your garden, Lady Emily. Why should a pleasure, so easily attain- ed, fail you one moment? Sharp . (aside) Confound the fellow! He is beforehand with me. A fast man distanced by such a slow fellow as that, it’s inconceivable. (goes up, and throws himself into a chair . Sir B nudges his wife Buz. Eh, my dear. Lady B. Be quiet, Sir Barnabas. Em ( who has taken the nosegay) Colonel, your flattering attention de¬ serves a recompense. (she takes out a rose, and sticks it in his buttonhole Col. You give me the brightest of the store. It is a treasure. Sir Barnabas nudges his wife. Buz. (apart) Eh, my dear. Lady B. (in a passion) Leave me alone Sir Barnabas, (aloud, with ill-sur- pressed vexation) My dear Lady Emily, it you could be induced to change your mind, nothing could be more agreeable than a ramble. Em. 1 am indeed too much fatigued. But use no ceremony. I would not have you stay because I am too indolent to stir. (seats herself , looking tenderly at the Colonel Lady B. But the Colonel will not refuse to join us ? Col. Thank you, I could not think of leaving Lady Emily alone. Buz. (aside) The symptoms are decinedly unfavorable to Lady B. 'Sir Barnabas is about to nudge his wife again, but checks himself as if afraid. Lady B. (angrily to her husband) Then I must beg your arm, Sir Barna¬ bas,. for want of a better. .Buz. Highly flattered at the preference, my love. Lady B. Pshaw ! Buz. (aside) My dear, the symptoms don’t come at all. Lady B. (aside) I think they are all run mad on purpose to plague me. pulling her husband angrily away) Come, Sir Barnabas. (exeunt Sir B. and Lady B. by flat Em. Mr. Sharp! (Sharp rises and comes forward) I feel I should do wrong to detain you here. For, after all, I could look over my law papers -without your assistance; and, if I need any experience and advice, I have Colonel Easily’s here. Aug ., Since your ladyship desires, I will put the papers in order, and take departure. Em. Since I desire? By no means, Mr. Sharp, I request you to suit your own convenience. Aug. (aside). That’s all very well; but I’m up to a trick or two; and its very clear he’s running me off the course, (aloud) In truth, Lady Emily, it were better, perhaps, to leave the papers for your private perusal. I will see that every thing is ready, (bows — aside going) Distanced 1 distanced ! LuV now’s your time to shew a little pluck,, old chap. Attention, Augustus, attention ! Prove yourself a man.. (exit l. 14 ALARMINGLY SUSPICIOUS. Em. (smiling) I hope Easely, you will give me credit for turning Mr. Augustus Sharp out of the house to please you. I trust then, that you may soon enjoy again ( mimmicing the Colonel ’ s manner) your peace and quiet, to your heart’s content. Lady Buzzbite, just now seemed not well pleased enough to favor us with any lengthened st^-. Cot. (fondly) So be it. And then we can return again to those fond days when, in one long happy tete-a-tete , we lived only for each other. Em. Yes, those were happy days, Easely. Col. When we wandered hand in hand— ( taking her hand Em. ( smilingly ) Like the babes in the wood. Col. And gathered flowers— Em. Which you strewed before my footsteps, and swore to me, that thus I should go down hand in hand with you to the grave along life’s flowery path. Cel. Or we sat, side by side, upon some mossy bank- Em. And you read aloud to me passages from my favorite authors, which went to our hearts as raising our eyes, from time to time, we applied them to ourselves. Col. But that time shall come again. Again we will apply the tenderest verses to our mutual happiness. And why not now? We are alone. Our importunate visitors are far away. ( looking round Em. I desire no more congenial pleasure. Come read to me as in our happy days. Col. You are charming !—directly, directly! (goes to table f on which are books Em. ( going to the sofa with a half yawn) In truth, I am so fatigued, that such repose seems to me the sweetest of pleasures, (half reclining on sofa l. c. Col. (at table) What have we here? Ah, Shelley ! Will you like Shelley ? Em My favorite Shelley, by all means. Col. ( seating himself on chair (c.) next her , half turning back) What shall I read ? Em (yawning) Just what you please. Col. (opening at random) Ah, the Pine Forest! Shall I read the Pine Forest ? Em. (yawning) As you please. Col. (reads) “The inviolable sweetness, “The breath of peace we drew —** —Oh, yes ! the breath of peace we draw—don’t we ? Em. (sleepily) The breath of peace ! Col. (continuing) “With its soft motion made not less “The calm that round us grew—” —delicious calm ! Em. (repeating almost unconsciously) Delicious calm ! Col. How sweetly applicable ! Em. (half asleep) Sweetly applicable ! Col. (continuing) “And all was interspersed beneath “With an Elysian air, “An atmosphere without a breath— “A silence sleeping there—” —a silence sleeping there ! how exquisite, isn’t it beautiful ? a silence sleep¬ ing there, what pretty words,—sleeping there, (turns round , sees Lady Em. ily asleep) Sleeping there, yes—sleeping there indeed, (piqued) The words are applicable enough. It was worth while doing the pretty, and recuring to happy days gone by, and reading poetry to her, when she never paid me the least attention. It is really not the thing—in the presence of one, whom you profess to love—to take your ease— (stretches himself in chair) and show such consummate indifference—and go to such lengths as to fall asleep —asleep—in the society of her beloved—it’s inconceivable,— (closes eyes) it’s really unjustiflabla^(repea£i/?< 5 r mechanically) to fall asleep—ha, ha,—asleep— ha, ha—fast asleep—peace and quiet—peaee and quiet—peace—quiet— (sleeps ALARMINGLY SUSPICIOUSLY. 1* Enlcr Sir Bar?iabas and Lady B. by flat. iAidy B. {not seeing the sleepers) Could anything be more provoking? The matrimonial symptoms were as clear as daylight. Never did man and wife show them off more perfectly. I could have said in their faces, “you are man and wife, you can't deny it/' and then the all of a sudden the mat¬ rimonial symptoms disapear. I am so provoked, that I could— you better keep out of the way, Sir Barnabas. Buz. I’m sure I've no objection, my dear. ( getting out of her way f he sees the sleepers) Ah, hush ! Don’t make a noise and expose yourself, look there! Lady B. {turning) What? Ah, ha! Asleep, both of them ; Asleep side- by-side! ( folding her arms, to Sir B.) And you pretend to say, that they are lovers, and not man and wife? Who ever saw lovers fall asleep in each oth¬ er’s company? Did you ever presume, when you courted me, Sir Barnabas, to fall asleep in my presence ? Buz Never, my dear. You never gave me a chance. Lady B. 1 think not indeed ! Symptom of symptoms, I greet thee in that matrimonial tableau! Doubts away ! They are man and wife. The for¬ tune is ours, Sir Barnabas, {laughs) Ha, ha, ha! Man and wife. Em . {awakening) Oh, charming ! Col. {awakening) Peace and quiet ! Lady B. again laughs triumphantly. Em. {starting up and rubbing her eyes) Ah, Lady Buzzbite! I did not see you. I beg your pardon—I was so tired—I believe I was asleep. Lady B. {pointing to Colonel, who is rubbing his eyes) Yes, my dear Emily and in company of your friend, Colonel Easely, who on his side, was enjoy¬ ing a very hearty snooze. Em. {surprised) Ah ! Col. {contused) I really don’t know how it was- Lady B . {triumphant) Oh, don’t excuse yourfelf, Colonel. Perhaps I can guess very well how it was. Such things happen sometimes to Sir Barna¬ bas and myself. Buz. Very seldom. Lady B. {continues) But then we are man and wife, and, as married peo¬ ple, we indulge in such little symptoms of differences. The Colonel and Lady Emily look at each other with embarrassment. Em. All further concealment is in vain, I see. Lady Buzzbite, I will not affect to misunderstand your taunts, or conceal from you that I am Oolonej Easely’s wife. But your triumph might have been more easily gained: in a short time I should have revealed the truth. Upon my late husband’s decease, Colonel Easely was by my side, my only friend. We had loved each other long. My position was embarrassing, and we were married be¬ fore my year of mourning had expired—secretly married, I confess it. When in England, we learnt the disposition of the will, my first impulse was to avow my marriage and restore the fortune to the hands of those on whom it was bestowed. But I recalled hints let fall by my late husband in his last illness, and I waited to see whether no second will had changed the condi¬ tions of the first. The time, however, I had allotted for my expectations, is nearly run—I renounce my hopes ; and now Lady Buzzbite, 1 cheerfully resign to you the fortune, happy to forego a concealment which has been re¬ pugnant to my nature, Buz. [to Lady B.) Permit me, my dear. You must see now— Lady B. Hold your tongue, Sir Barnaba^f and let me speak, {holding out hand) Lady Emily, I have done you wrong—will you forgive me? Em.. Willingly. Buz. {crying) Oh, 'tis very touching, Lady Emily, permit me- Lady B. {pushing him back) There, that will do Sir Barnabas, that will do. Enter Augustus Sharp, l. with papers and open letter in hand, comes c.— Afar# Mum appears k. goes and speaks to her mistress. 1« ALARMINGLY SUSPICIOUS. Auq. (c.) Lady Emily, before taking my departure, permit me to be the messenger of good news. Em. Good news, Mr. Sharp ? Aug. Among these papers last arrived from India, is a second will of your late husband, by which, according to the letter of my uncle, it appears that the conditions of the first are revoked, and that without losing your for¬ tune, your Ladyship may, in a second union, bestow bliss upon some unwor¬ thy but adoring individual. (gives one of the papers Em. [to Colonel ) My friend—my husband—I have not given you a por¬ tionless bride. (Sharp is surprised and mortified Lady B. A second will—the conditions revoked. And we lose our for¬ tune at the very moment we thought to hold it in our grasp, (clenching her hand at Sir B.) Oh, Sir Barnabas, Sir Barnabas ! Buz. (getting out of her way — alarmed) Permit me, my dear— Aug. (looks at letter ) Patience, patience! Old Nick goes on to say, that out of his immense fortune, the lamented deceased has found means it seems to made ample provisions for his relations, Sir Barnabas and Lady Buzzbite (taking Lady B.'s hand affectionately) I am delighted my dear Lady Buzz- bite, to give you this alleviation to your disapointment. (aside) The little Buzzbite will come in for pretty pickings yet. Lady B. Ha, ha, ha! Mr. Augustus, your previous knowledge, then, ( points to letter in his hand) accounts for your sudden gallant attention to Lady Emily. Ha, ha, ha! (Aug. expostulates with her , aside Mary, (to Lady E.) So, my Lady, all is discovered, it seems; I need no longer hold my tongue, then. Em. I grant you free powers to chatter as much as you please, and declare to all the world that I am Colonel Easely’s wife. Mary. Thank you, my Lady. Now then, I can behave as a lady’s maid ought to do. ’Twas high time, though. For I won’t swear that in another day or two, I should not have burst outright with a strangulation of words in my throat. Col. Dearest wife, since so I can call you, Lady Buzzbite’s lesson shall never be forgotten. We shall now at last live in peace and quiet, and, henceforth, none of the matrimonial symptoms shall ever appear again in our married life, (half to the public) And, if any-body doubts of the truth of my resolution, let him come here again and see. Em. No more symptoms, then, (comes forward, ) And yet there are some symptoms I would still fain see—symptoms of satisfaction, (pointing to the public) Here, Lady Buzzbite, since you are the true observer of all symp¬ toms, see if you can discover any. Lady B. Ah, my observations may be all at fault there, but I will make the attempt. (comes forward Buz. (coming forward) Permit me, my dear, if you would take my advice for once, and try a little diplomatic tac-- Lady B. Hold your tongue, Sir Barnabas, you don’t know what you are talking about. No diplomacy would avail us here. We are only suppli¬ cants. I look around me from face to face. What are the symptoms? Among you—or you—or you. There are none, I trust, that I should be forced to call ‘‘Alarmingly Suspicious. R, Mart. Colonel. Lady E. Lady B. Sib B. Sharp. L. CURTAIN NE W MIL IT A RY ALL EG OR Y. j-.—---*— r JTiic oT Ath&nla. A. errand military allegory in 6 acts, by A. I> Ames and 0- G. Bartley, 14 male, 3 female characters, with as many supermnnary ladies and gents as the stage may afford room for* This great play is founded on incidents which actually occured during the war of the Rebellion—it introduces Ohio’s brave and gallant McPherson— the actual manner of his capture and death is shewn. It abounds >vit the most beautiful tableaux, drill, marches, scenes upon the battle f ^i l, in AndersonviHe, etc., and is pronounced by the press and public, the most successful military play ever produced. G. A. R. Posts, Mi'ifcarv Companies and other organizations, who rnav wish something which will draw, should produce it. It may not be out of place to add that this play with the incidents ot the death of the gallant McPherson, was written with the full consent ot the General’s brother, R. B. McPherson, si>:ce dead, who fully approved of it. Belovv will be found a synopsis of incidents, etc. SYNOPSIS OF INCIDENTS. Act 1st. Home of Farmer Dalton, “don’t talk politics.” The dinner hour, i News from Fort Sumpter, and call for 75,000 men. Quarrel of old friends. “They hung traitors in former times.” Oath of vengeance. The patriotic Dutchman. His wonderful story. Husband and wife. “Go, and may God bless you.” Little Willie. “Dot dog.” The Dutchman organizes a com pa- i ny. Parting of lovers, and “parting for. ever.” “Country first and love \ afterwards.” Schneider, the Dutchman, and his nev? company. He means | business and shows his “poys” that he understands military business. Kn- j 1 sting. Schneider and his eompauy sign the rolls. The Daltons. “Hus- ; band, must you go?” Duty. Little Willie. “Please, mother, may I go?” j Presentation of the flag. Parting of loved ones. Act 2nd. Camp by night. The letter from home. Army duties. Songs j and merriment. “Tentingon the old camp ground.” "Inspection of the regiment. Generals McPherson and Sherman. News from Atlanta. A brave man required. The dangerous mission. Promise of promotion given by McPherson. Departure of the, spy. The Confederate camp. Cc.pt. St. ( lairs soliloquy. Plotting. Pete. The old Negro is used rather roughly. Father anil son. The man who stutters so badly. The discovery, “A-spy.” “Do your worst, you cowardly traitor.” Pete makes himself useful. “No chance of life.” Thrilling tableau and capture of St. Clair. Escape of St. Clair. The pursuit. Generals MePhefson and Sherman, News from the from. McPherson preparing for battle. Firing on the left. “I must at once ; ascertain the cause.” • The rebel squad. McPherson’s danger. “Halt and surrender *’ The fatal shot. “It is General McPherson ; you have killed the bc.it man in the Union Army.” Acr?kt, Return of the spy. Sherman hears of the death of Ids friend. The cj) >tr»v : ,s lines in motion. The long roll and general engagement. ACT dh. Battlefield by night. “Water! I am dying for the want of water.” Little WilJic. The traitor forgiven. Edwin and Willie are made prisoners. The U Ecu very, and renewal of the oath of vengeance. Act 5 h. Andersonville with all its horrors. Hope of being exchanged. The last crust of bread. St.Clair informs Edwin of the arrival or his wife. Fears nf insanity, and prayers to God for reason to know her. The maniac. » “Oh, brother, don’t vou know me? I am your brother Willie.” Maud ar« j rives. Terror on beholding her husband. “He must know me.’ The pic- i turc. The recognition of the picture, and “you are—no I can not be wrong, you are Maud, my wife; thank God ’ Villainy of St. Clair. The cry for bread. Bravery uf Willie. The fatal shot, and death of the brave boy. Madness. The curse. “Boys, let us pray that this mar soon end.” The rescue. ACT tub.. News of the surrender of Lee. The new love. The vacant chair. # Happiness of Pete. Return of the hoys, and joyful meeting of loved ones. • m . r’ s inarch, and beautiful tableau. ' Price, otnU per copy. 1. D. AMES, PUBLISHER, CLYDE, 0: 0UI? liUSIXEHS- :: WIf:lT JTE DO.' P//A rs : We peli'.ovcrvthmg'in tbe line rtf dramas arid tVeos, '; ' d roll •th , YYul.iU of our mmYrou^ >« 1 tre;is i.e our^v.-n li-t. We ttnuk f em- ',L . s „l.,v which will. s uit,ei;.in>4-.pn,ie»iWB*l or amateur om.j>. D. i iio'vevi v von need » methi;,;. elsewhere, do not hes.tate to ,y your ordm^tiur Si. : »,;lv is very la^T®*4 W« ttUe 1-romptly.-bh n.» o. fVU'V .]mbUsk--r 0)1 hnnd # ’J Sf - ' .rrw-rt ' • 7/ri ftp r-'VQ xji ;? iT.nV.inv^rivl rtromptW, and wo sohoiieorrf " Jj j| i"„- ',.t‘ bw't r ,^S u -'/on-Vri'te. coWnfe TOu\A-l'oSe. en 1 r O$SMl M W y mm " '• " ^ ^*<70 - TWajK^OHiA .vl:.i |ve ; ire:: .ul . ivJ t> ; and to (tie b .-si, o( our pbijt- *m ife tu us. 1 Vv;e vv. I .. , .. ...— v ,-, . Orders for sheet music, or music hooks mil he <«s; ed'and'ii’i;. e - t .r.mtj»t)y;as|wssi-li|e. 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