GHZ ^alulioit Cljeatre. Sole Lessee and Manager Mr. MORRIS ABRAHAMS. GRAND ENTITLED OB, Harlequin Prince Rover, and the Princess Tricksy Wicksy. ITmthmt! FEINTED BY E. RB1MKL (Perfumer to H.B.H. the Princess of Wales), 9$, STRAND. SAYER’S MIRACULOUS EMBROCATION, AN EFFECTUAL REMEDY FOR Rheumatism. Gout, Sprains, Bruises, Spinal Affections, Lumbago, Fains in the Kidneys, Groin and Joints, Swellings, Ticdoloreux, Neuralgia, Internal Injuries produced by falls, straining, or over-exertion, Loss of Strength, Weakness, Stiffness and Cramp of the Limbs and Joints, Paralysis, Asthma, Difficulty of Breathing, Cold on the Chest, Unbroken Chilblains, &c. &c. IN BOTTLES, 7Jd. # Is. l£d. and 2s. 9d. each. FOX'S POOR IAN’S COUGH REMEDY, That Marvellous Cure ” for COUGHS , (ASTHMATIC, CONSUMPTIVE OK BRONCHIAL), AND ALL COMPLAINTS OF THE Chest , Throat and Lungs, arising from COLD. POSITIVELY CUBES NINE CASES OUT OE TEN. IN BOTTLES, Is. 1 Id. and 2b. 9d. each. Por Health, PURIFYING, REFRESHING, AND Head, Appetite, mui n on itiili a Stomach, and Digestion, INVIGORATING- and Liver, TAKE FOE BOTH SEXES. A most excellent Medicine for Bilious Complaints, Disorders of the Liver, Stomach and Bowels; for Indigestion, Loss of Appetite, Flatulency, Heartburn, Pains and Giddiness of the Head, Costiveness, &c. ; and particularly for Eruptions of the skin. IN BOXES, 7£d. and Is. l£d. TIIMIJEX/X* TTSIE OIF 1 FOX’S GOUT & RHEUMATIC PILLS Will preserve any vital part from attach , and avert a Fit. IN BOXES, Is. lid. and 2s. 9d. each. W. A. FOX, A.P.S., Dispensing and Family Chemist, 27, LEYTON ROAD, STRATFORD NEW TOWN, E. Mr. Butcher, Mostyn Boad, Old Ford ; Mr. Thompson, High Street, Bow ; Mr. Dean, Roman Road. Old Ford ; Mr. Burnham, Mile End Road ; Mr. Gilkes, Mile End Road ; Mr. Kirk, Poplar ; Lacey & Co., Mile End Road, Wholesale Agents, &c. ; and of ALL CHEMISTS* Uabiltoit Cfteatre. Sole Lessee and Manager • . . Mr. MORRIS ABRAHAMS, GRAND CHRISTMAS PANTOMIME, ENTITLED GULLIVER’S TRAVELS: OB, Harlequin Prince Rover, and the Princess Tricksy Wicksy. FEINTED BY E. RD1MEL (Perfumer to H.B.H. the Princess of Wales), W* STRAND. r THE TYROLEAN MUSICAL BOX, 2s., Eight Tunes, Post free 27 Stamps. Size by 2fc inches. The eight tunes may be selected from the following : — Hold the Fort— Sun of my Soul— Thy Will be Done— Safe in the Arms of Jesus— Ring the Bell, Watchman— Last Rose of Summer — Meet Me in the Lane, Love — Watching for Pa — Madame Angot— Danube Waltz— Legend Madame Angot— Irish Jig— Mousetrap Man— Tommy Make Room for Your Uncle— Oh My, Fie for Shame— Perhaps She’s on the Railway-Run ’Em in— Hoop La. Agents will find this marvellous Centennial novelty sell well, and afford delighted customers unbounded satisfaction. A SAMPLE INSTRUMENT, FREE BY PARCEL POST, 27 STAMPS. r JACQUES BAUM & CO., Kingston Novelty W orts, BIRMINGHAM. Baum’s Magic Cigar Case. This mysterious Japanese novelty, shown full of cigars, when closed and re-opened will be found empty. Post-free 14 stamps. THE MAGIC FUSHE BOX, 14 stamps. MAGIC SNUFF BOX, 14 stamps. JACQUES BAUM & Co., Kingston Novelty Works, BIRMINGHAM. OKTB SHILLING. •RAUM’S DOMESTIC BIJOU PRINT- ING PRESS (Patent). Prints Programmes, Bills of Fare, Cards, Labels, Laundry Lists, etc. Press, Type, Ink, Pad, etc. Post free 14 stamps. Very superior, 24 stamps. OJKTES SmLLING. RAUM’S ACCURATE AND PER- l PETUAL POCKET GENEVA TLMIST, iu Alumena Gold. For either I sex, in any clime. Post free, 14 stamps. Very superior, 24 stamps ft “Very ingenious.”— F igaro. “A capital invention, and gives the time A accurately.”— British Mail, 13th April, 1876. “Wonderful for a Shilling.” A — Budget Catalogues, Press Notices, Testimonials, or Shippers’ and ^ftDoalers’ List post-free. 10,000 original Testimonials can be shown on our novelties. Address— MCQUES BAUM & Co., Kingston Novelty Works, BIRMINGHAM. 20 GOLD, SILYER & BRONZE MEDALS, INCLUDING SPECIAL SILVER MEDAL FROM THE KENNEL CLUB , AWARDED TO* * SPRATT’S PATENT HEAT FIBRIHE: DOG CAKES. , Our success has- caused a number of counterfeit Imitations to be made of highly dangerous and innutritions ingredients. They are sold’ by unprincipled trades- men as ours, for the' sa'ke’of a small extra profit which the makers allow them. The Meld says, in answers to.corrqsponjlents/ 1 W§ should advise SPRATT 1 BISCUITS, instead of greaves and common ones.” These Common Biscuits are made of damaged flour and tallow ©reaves which latter are now so chemically treated for other commercial purpos< that all fat and nutritious matters are exhausted before the greaves are us< for Dog Food. The Biscuits imitating ours in the square shape are sold by the makers a low prioe, and retailed to the consumer a^t the same price as ours, the res . I tradesman thereby getting a larger profit until experiencing loss of custom by selling inferior goods/ ’ ' ' ‘ ' Our Patent Cakes are the only Mdat Biscuits for which a patent has ever . been granted, all the other so-called Patent Biscuits being spurious imita- tions. 6 * PLEASE OBSERVE THAT EVERY CAKE IS STAMPED WITHOUT WHICH NOME ARE GENUINE Spratl’a Patent. — Henry Street, Bermonlsey Street-, CHARACTERS, Davy Jones. •••••••• Miss CLIFTON King Neptunh ....... Mr. G. ENGLISH Boreas .......... Mr. CLIFTON Gulliver ...... . Mr. ARTHUR WILLIAMS Prince Rover • • • • • Miss MARIE ALEXANDER Emperor op Lilliput . , Miss CONSTANCE ALEXANDER Patricoluri . ..«••• Mr. FRED CAVINS King Lumalota Kumpitz . .... Mr. G. ENGLISH Hoopla ••«««.... Miss SIMPSON Milbaminnit . . • , • • Miss KATIE COHEN Teatrai .«••••••• Mr. POWER Vanhandsmixture ••••••. Mr. GODFREY Drugs •••«•• Mr. ARTHUR ALEXANDER Drachms •••«..• Mr. JOHN ALEXANDER Giant ......... Mr. CLIFTON Mrs. Gulliver Mr. HARRY LYNNE Dolly Miss VICTOR CORALlNE AND Princess Tricksy WlCKSY Mrs. JAMES CARDEN Nymphaline ....... Madlle. MARIANI Giantess ........ Harlbquin . . . . . . Mr. J. F. ALEXANDER Columbine ...... Miss ROSE ALEXANDER Clown ....... Mr. JOHN ALEXANDER Pantaloon ....... . Mr. TOM BARMAN . . • • • Mr. ARTHUR ALEXANDER GULLIVER’S TRAVELS ^ OB, Harlequin Prinoe Rover, and the Princess \ Tricksy Wicksy. SCENE L Davy Jones's Locker, (Davy Jones discovered sleeping on the back of a crab . Wakes up.) DAVY. Breakers and billows, storm, hail, rain, and sleet, And other dreadful oaths I daren’t repeat ; What riot’s this, while I’m in slumber deep, Who dares disturb me from my beauty sleep ? ( An anchor swings and hits him.') ’Vast ! you’d better drop that game. Your skill’s at fault ; This briny tar, you see, won’t stand assault ! To make a joke, might set a dog-fish barking, Such conduct in the ocean bed is sharking ; Belay ! stand by I I wish to stay below— They’re weighing anchor ! hi ! steward, let go. {Enter Neptune and Boreas.) Neptune. Why, Davy, what’s wrong ? Davy. Boreas. Davy. Boreas. Jibbooms and spankers I In my locker now, they drop their anchors ! A thing I never knew take place before. I pointedly object to that an-chor. I want the sailors, passengers, and crew, Down in the caverns ’neath the water blue ! {To Boreas.) We’ve had no wrecks, on you I can’1 You see, the sailors now have found a friend 1 Cease your puffing, set the billows rolling ; Down to my locker let Tom come bowling. But Neptune here, whose trident rules the ocean. Takes things so easy, there’s no commotion ! Neptune. I’m nearly ruled and done for by the storm, Public opinion clamours for reform ; And life- belts various float with flow and ebb. While all the nation cheers brave CaptaJm Webb ! Ha 1 the good old days of sea fights glorious. Pirates, smugglers, privateers notorious, Who thought to come to Davy Jones’s locker, The sailor’s end, summed up by ocean’s Cocker ! But now things are so dull I think to vary ’em, I’ll let myself out to an Aquarium 1 How, now ? — ( Enter Fairy Coraline.) Davy. The r>NCORE WHISKY. J J Lancet. — “ Wholesome and pleasant.” Sold everywhere. Always ask for it. 6 CORAL.. Daddy Neptune I KsP^tJNis. Coral ! Coral. Why moan you I Although below, pa, still I don’t disown you. Neptune. My child I } Davy* He snivels. Neptunb* Sa^/ now I’ve embraced you, (The fairy seminary in which*! placed you) Why have you left ? ' 4 Coral* I’ve taken my degree, " With powers to practice as agbo'd Fairies Davy* Pshaw ! No Bopeeps, now ? or Little Red Riding Hood, No Cinderellas, or Tiny Two Shoes good, Need fairy aid ; the mediums’ time is o’er, And spiritualists will trouble us no more ! By those who have with messages been cheated, The pencil writing now is cooly treated. The game is up, in vain its best friends rally, For Jaw cries go, aud Slade and Co. must Allcz 1 Farewell to guineas which rich noodles paid. There’s no more rappings, for the ghost is laid . Enough of this, why visit you my cave ? To ask the rulers of the wind and wave, The good ship “ Antelope ” to lend their care to, And guard from all those ills that bark is heir to. Ballads and barnacles. Don’t swear, old' shark*, He, on whom I’m gone , goes in that bark 1 Neptune. What, Gulliver ! you goose ! ^Cgral. Pshaw! No ! mot he. The sweet Prince Rover is the man for me ; Over the world content with him I’d go, For as the poet says, I love him so. Neptune. Who ever heard of such a stupid passion, k Bon * ear Fairies don’t love. ■ Coral* Then I shall set the fashion. ■ Davy* Eight you are I Then, one of us such love should cheer* Maiden, I am now in my thirty thousandth year ! p Passed through five editions ; for each I’ve had The special character of my awful dad. Be mine — Sea- Salt of Tidman ! Coral* Davy* Coral* Davy. Coral. Coral, Davy. Cease your groans Beware the vengeance, Miss, of Davy Jones ! The Antelope is doomed. I'll go ashore, Load her with cargo, till her decks run o’er. She’s rotten, as many that to the bottom go, Who’s owners thrive and flaunt in Rotten Row ! Ill mar your plans ! Gulliver — your lover, too, Shall sleep with me to-night beneath the blue ! Concerted Piece. Don’t think me afraid, I’m a fairy by trade, And so now I warn you, my friends ! Don’t interfere, bat mind what I say. For I mean to gain my own ends. * arfaB ^te"rTNCOiiE whisky!*" Hi British Medical Journal. — “ A safe stimulant.” Sold everywhere. Always ask for it. Davy. Coral. 7 But a mortal to wed ! You’re right off yonr head. Think twice, and a good fairy be. That’s all very well, till my reason I tell. The why and the wherefore, you see. Chorus. Then we have the winkles, sprats, codfish, and whales % There we have the octopus— herrings, crabs and snails; Then we have the mermaids, with their flowing hair. Yes, you’ll find beneath the deep— collections rich wsa& rare. Davy. The fish get their mate in the form of a bait. And you may get crimped like a cod — Right through the gill, in the shape of a pill — A hook at the end of a rod. "CORAL, You mustn’t think that— I’m not such a flat. My lover will take care of me. The law won’t allow men to thrash women now. So I can’t be baited , you see. Chorus. Then we have the winkles, codfish, sprats and whales^ {All Dance off.) Dolly. No! SCENE II. Fairy Land. Enter Dolly. There you are ! No peeping — I saw you. Isn’t it provoking to be treated so ? This is the spot where, as old wives have told, Good fairies nightly garden parties hold. Yet none are here. The fact I’m much afraid is Fairies are shams — {Fairies enter ) — I beg your pardon, ladic®, 1st Fairy. Your business, please ? Dolly. {Aside.) Oh, dear ! this is bewildering. {Aloud.) Do you want a little girl to nurse the children I You need a charm. My young man says I’ve dozens. You’ve lovers, then? One, but several cousins. Our Queen 1 {Enter Nymphaline, Queen of the Fairies ^ Are you from Court - it’s name? Court number 2, mum, Petticoat lane. You’ve some request ? To tell I’m rather chary If you please, Queen, I want to be a fairy. Vain ambition 1 To-night my lover starts On an excursion into foreign parts. Ha 1 foreign parts are now with dangers rife, Though outward signs conceal the hidden strife. And now, child, your petition we would know. I love a Prince — Prince Rover 1 Is it so ? One of our sisters— Coraline — sad thought, For love of him has left our fairy court. She loves my Prince I -the minx 1 Fairy. Dolly. Fairy. Dolly. Fairy. Queen. Dolly. Queen. Dolly. Queen. Dolly. Queen. Dolly. Queen, Dolly. The T7>NC0RE WHISKY. X2 A Medical Times.— “ Very wholesome. May be safely used.** Bold everywhere. Always ask for it. Fairy. , Dolly. Queen. Dolly. Queen. Dolly. Queen. Dolly. Dolly. Nymph. 8 Your anger flies out. Make me a fairy, and I’ll scratch her eyes out ! He knows her not, save in his dreams. The bear ! His dreams of love I’ll turn into nightmare. He said his dreams had always been about me. I’ll let him see — he shan’t go now without me. Love her he can’t ; in fact, he never may ; A spell I’ll give you. On the very day. The hour, the minute, that he proves untrue, It shall be known. On the instant, you — Though seas illimitable and worlds divide— Shall be transported to the traitor’s side. Our future mode of travelling you’ll praise, And quite despise the talked- of eighty days. You promise this ! Queen, I most grateful am. Good bye, my royal preserver 1 You’re real jam* Your fairy longings — Wouldn’t quite suit, perhaps. Your diggings must be dull without some chaps. Your style of life with me would not agree. It’s very nice— not good enough for me. Song and Chorus, “ Buckles on her Shoes" Oh, Fairies ! please to pity me. I’ve troubled you with love. But my young man’s a gentleman, And very far above The usual hobs, and bobs, and dobs, And that is why I came ; For Rover’s got, and I shall have, A handle to my name. Short men, tall men, ask me to say yes ? But I am going to marry Rover, And be a real Princess. Oh, oh ! how could I refuse? I hope soon to be married. And that’s the latest news. Yes, you’d like to be a fairy ! It’s anything but slow. No thoughts of getting married Are talked of here, you know. I hope the time will not be long, And you should hope the same, Stay here and be a fairy, Nor seek to change your name. Chorus. “ Short men, tall men,” etc* GRAND FAIRY BALLET. (Arranged by Mr. J. F. Alexander.) Entitled “ Love Among the Boses" Cupid — Miss Rose Alexander, The great English Dancer. {Closed in .) The TT'NCORE WHISKY. Hj Medical Press. — “ Invaluable as an alcoholic stimulant.” Sold everywhere. Always ask for it. 9 MRS. G. SCENE III, Gulliver’s Home. (Enter Mrs. Gulliver, singing “ Home , /Starch Home*') Which ditty, thus to Gulliver I chant it ; He only chaffs, which werry hard is, arn’t it 1 To-night he leaves home, country, friends, and me Against my wish, a rover’s bride to be. He seeks the Ocean’s bosom, leaves this breast* And me, his “ birdie,” lonely in her nest. In a doctor’s shop I shall be up a tree, He leaves his patients and his bills to me, They’re both unsettled, and likely so to be. For all the good that I shall do in surgeree • His two assistants will be no help indeed, With them an awful life I’m safe to lead. They play their pranks, are ready for each meal, Eat all they can, and what they can’t they steal. ( Calls.') Drugs, Drachms, come here ! worse imps I neves knew ; Bring here a tub, some soda, starch, and blue. ( Enter Drugs and Drachms.) (Both.) Did you call ? You know I did. Now, you young dogs, will you do as you are bid? I must rub out a few odd things for him to wear, And sew all his buttons on, or else he’ll swear. Though it would serve him right to let him pack Without a nightcap to his blessed back. Drachms. Oh my I Drugs. Oh my ! Drachms. She didn’t. Drugs. She did, Drachms. Then why don’t you do what you’re forbid. (Mrs. Gulliver returns .) Drugs. Well ! Drachms. Well 1 Mrs. G. Oh, those boys ! Take your time, mum. Here’s the tub. Here’s the soap and soda, mum. That’s the rub ! Get me some starch, I my irons must heat. ( Exit .) Drugs. You hear. Drachms. You. Drugs. You. Drachms. You. Drugs. You. Drachms. I’ve some pills to beat. {Business of beating pills , getting starchy etc.) Starch, when hungry I don’t at trifles stick, This won’t affront if I was choleric . / {Re-enter Mrs. Gulliver. Basiness of washing • Chase off 0 {Enter Davy Jones.) {Exit Drachms. Drugs. Drachms. Mrs. G. Drugs. The TpNCORE WHISKY. J2J Medical Record.— “ The purest of alcoholic stimulanta," Sold everywhere. Always ask for it. 10 Guiii, DAVY, Gull. Mbs. G. Gull. mats. a. PP li- mbs. G. Gull. Mbs. a Gull. Prince. Gull. ’Tis here resides one Gulliver, a quack, Who braves the surge as surgeon board my smack. Doomed ! ha ! ha ! with the Fairy’s lover. Ho I ho ! They soon will find themselves with me below. ( without .) Good bye I Tis Gulliver, they cheer, just to nerve him. Ha 1 ha 1 I will retire and observe him. {Enter Gulliver.) Farewell, my friends, my fellow citizens good bye, I stood a drop— the tear drop stood in my eye. High water ’tis, and we must soon aboard, The ship I sail in, now lies safely moored. Soon must I bid adieu to shop and daughter. My corporation, my gas and water. My wife embraced (to whom I leave my drugs), And take my kickshaws and wraps and other rugs. To sail away from England fair and free. But ere I go, I’ll plant a little tree. In Mile End a selected spot I’ve made, When I return we’ll sit beneath the shade. The tree’s a larc h, tho’ now ’tis small alack, It will be lurcher, p’raps, when I come back. I have a word or two before I go — Advice gratis, a thing that all should know. ( Enter Mrs. Gulliver, weeping .) Oh, Gull ! Don’t be o-guling — ain’t you well ? Your cuffs and collars I to wash was bringing. Give your orders, mum, and leave off ringing. Your clean linen’s spoilt, then, there ! Well, if it be, We pass the Wash at Boston. Leaving poor me ; Dolly too, about the Prince, she’ll break her heart. Time and tide soon serve, ’tis tidy time we start. So bustle wife, don’t stand and cogitate, The bus will start and make this coger late. Oh, if I’m not wanted there’s one thing I knows is* A rolling stone gathers no moss roses . What can I promise now to coax her down, I’ll take her to all the pantomimes in town ; That is when I come back, and back of me A large amount of ready £ s. D. {Enter Prince Rover.) Where’s Dolly 2 this parting her heart will vex. Leave it to your pa-in-law, he knows the sex. Where is the boy ? she don’t weep when I’m about ; I say it’s toothache and pull a molar out. Tis thus I my Molly — always mollipis . While I my darling Dolly I dolly - he. Don’t be alarmed, just you trust to me, When you are married, I your pa shall be. I like your style, good Prince — & pal you are, So for the future leave it all to your pa. The rpNCOBE WHISKY. Hi Practitioner. —“A safe stimulant.' ’ Sold everywhere. Always ask for it. ho {Exit.y* {Exit.y {Exit.) mr v Prince. Well as you please ; get the farewell over. Your welfare shall he cared for by the Rover, My darling Dolly’s worthy df my love, . But I must test her claims to be above All other beauties, and my mind assure. Return of loveliDess-r-an epicure. {Song — Air, “ Strike you with a Feather* The girlsd* find are very fond Of fellows known as mooney. You’ll find the best of plans beyond, A doubt is that called spooney. Don’t go in for manliness If you’d be thought a don ; The sex like lardv-dardiness, So I 8h all try it on. II. The very smallest of small talk Is what I always chatter. As round the room I waltz and polk. The subject does not matter. Display the greatest ignorance, On topics of the day ; With affectation drawling Out every word you say. Ill strike you with a feather, I’ll strike you with a rose. Don’t dare deny the love for me that in your bosom glow*. ( Enter Dolly.) My Prince. My poppet. Your mind’s unchanged. Just 80. To-night I must to seek adventures go. To cause this gal & pout. You chaff forsooth, A little Badinage's not had in youth , True as a needle to the pole. Proof unsound. Don’t judge the needle till the pole is found. I swear. Not before the gal , guard well your trust, Be constancy itself, indeed you must ; Should your heart on beat for me a moment stop^ Puff, piff, puff, I down on your tibby drop. Book’d by fairy rail ! how scared you look, I will be true, I swear it. Kiss the book. (Enter Drugs and Drachms — Exeunt Prince and DOXfig) Drugs and Drachms. Courting. Drugs. He goes to sea. Drachms. He do. Drugs. He leaves his Dolly here for Drachms. Who ? The governor’s chest, let us examine, Nick-nacks for barter full as they can cram in. (Exeunt Drugs and DrachMs — Enter DAVY JONES.) Dolly. Prince. Dolly. Prince. Dolly. Prince. Dolly. Prince. Dolly. Prince. Dolly. The T^NCORE WHISKY. JEj Sanitary Record.— “ An excellent ‘ dietetic * stimulant.” Sold everywhere. Alwajfl ask for it. R^vy. 12 Post-~ endian, half-past five, my hearty. (Enter Gulliyee.) Gull, You’re the skipper, Davy. Hoy I Gull# Very nice old party. Captain, that’s your passenger. (Enter Prince and Dolly.) Davy# Ha, the lover. G ull# Arn’t you well, we’ll take the soundings to discover First call the watch up from its fobbery, Pulse inactive, don’t note its throbbery. Where’s your heart ? Davy. Below. Prince* He means his boots it’s in. Dolly, His sole is vast, and so’s his demon grin. Prince* I’ll my passage forfeit, I don’t like that tar. Gull. You’ll be sorry for this, leave it to your pa. Where, captain, are you bound ? Davy, For Davy Jones, Gull. And what’s the freight 7 1 > avy. The freight ? — why dead men’s bones. Gull. Is he man or monster ? like one he laugh’t, I’ll run my lancet in him to the haft. Captain make observation, what craft crowds sail, Davy. The Antelope’s crew. GULL. This quack, will make him quail, Stick it and prick it— I’ll mark you, you rover, Why I’ve vaccinated him all over. Fabric wanted, not to flinch — ha ! let go, The man’s a vampyre taking me in tow. Concerted Finale — “ Td rather lather father , than father lather me?* PRINCE, We must away — so now I’ll say Good-bye, my Dolly dear. DOLLY, Suppose that you should lose your way, And no policeman near, To safely send you back to me, And you away so far. GULL. It’s certain that I there shall be, So leave it to your pa. For the lugger is a beauty, and the Owner’s known to me. So just be glad, that your old dad ia Safely gone to sea. For 1 have to travel farther, and with Me you will agree, The farther father travels the More travels father’ll see. DAVY. But then you know that ship will sail And never more be seen, Not one come back to tell the tale. PRINCE. I know such things have been With rotten ships and cargo shy, The danger we have cured. Gull, We keep our powder high and dry, Our luggers not insured. The TT'NCORE WHISKY. Ju Public Health. — “ Should be in general use.’* Sold everywhere. Always ask for it. 13 SCENE IV. \ IAXLiput Land, Market Day . Assembly of Lilliputians . \ Chorus. \ BEADLE. Oh ! yes— pray all attend— Oh, yes. Yes, Their Majesties the Emperor and Empress. ( All cheer as Emperor and Empress enter$ ( Enter Emperor and Empress op Lilliput.) EMPEROR. Thanks Lilliputians ! Now pray be calm do ; I’ve news to tell that may, perchance, alarm you, Haw ! cits, my guards, of course led on by me t Have on the seashore seizure made, you see, A man mountain seventy inches high 1 Citizens. Help ! Help ! Help ! Emperor. There the cowards fly I Giant or mountain I fear not on my life, Nor man, nor woman, unless it be my wife ; I rule the people, she impresses me ; All things considered, we very well agree ; The charming ways I have are quite my own, From me society oft takes its tone. When asked to give advice I make reply, u You can’t do better than to mark my eye,” Son a. You’ll find that I am wide awake, Though some think me a fool ; I know my book — there’s no mistake, Judiciously to rule. Could you see my Cabinet Minister, It’s surely splendid fun, Try to improve upon me, but It isn’t to be done. II. I am never deluded by The agitating moan Of those who speak of poor men’s wrongs, And think not of my own. To men who spout of women’s rights, And all that kind of bosh ; We always got the one reply, My friends it wouldn’t wash. Chorus. Do you take me for a country man, Do you take me for a flat, Do you take me for a simpleton, Or any thing like that. If you think that I am fly. Or been in the world before ; Will you kindly let a fellow know What you really take me for. GULL. (without). Avast, you nutes ! (Gulliver dragged on board by ropes.) The T^NCORE WHISKY. JZi Food Reformer. — “All who value health should use it.*' Sold everywhere. Always ask for it. Emperor. Gull. /emperor. Gull. Emperor. Gui^l. Emperor. Gull. Emperor. Gull. Emperor Gull. Gull. i My new capture— bring it this way (Ent. Gulliver bound,) What ho 1 my tiny odes, avast, I say 1 Oh 1 I’ll physic you. Man mountain, why so tall f Because I’m pop’lar. Man mole-hill, why ao small f The Emperor of Lilliput. I’m great. You are l King of Kings ! reply to that. Pshaw ! Don’t pshaw me, you find I’ll not stand sneers. You tremble-r-then banish all your fears ; You’ll find me merciful, although I’m strong ; Wise and judicious I can do no wrong ; I improve the city and pull down the slums, W ill never slumber till the good time comes ; If mdney’s wanted, well, then I’ll stan(h$m. Then you’d better stand a drain ; make a dmi. Language like this is low, and irrigating ; To calm my mind I will increase th c rating. How came you here ? explain, sir, you position f Well fact is I was sent out on a mission I’ve references, but quite forgot to bring ’em. Full particulars, see small bills — I’ll sing'jem. Song and Chorus. “ Patrick's Bay Parade? I’ve been through the Suez canal, And old England ’gratulate ; In acting right up to the mark, Dizzy did not hesitate, I have seen Spain and Turkey, too, Bull Ring in Brum and, Timbuctoo And well my travels are repaid, Seeing the Lilliput Parade. One by one the wonders know, Sights I view, away I go ; There’s nothing can beat, ' high or low, The Lilliput Parade. Then shout hurrah, both pear and far, I’ve not seen such a nation ; Small and smart, and gaily arrayed, Ready for celebration." All come, high and low, to the Lilliput Parade Chorus. Then shout hurrah, &c., &c. I’ve been thro’ China and Japan, The t l and of trays, rice, and teas I've also seen old Ireland, Where landlords are absentees, A greabdiseovery I’ve made, Every class of every shade, Are sure to come gaily arrayed To see the Lilliput Parade. One by one, See, See, The L^NCORE WHISKY. ““ JOJ Every Gallon guaranteed equally part. Bold everywhere. Always ask lor it. Emperob. What will you do now if I let you go ? Gull. All that becomes a “ sailor medico .” Luff you, row you, bleed you, amputate you, Box your royal compass, or vaccinate you ; Prescribe a black draught, pill, or haul a rope, Handle a speaking trumpet or stethescope. What’s your ailment ? Is it liver, d’ye think ? Then rub your back well with a skating rink. Emperob. You confess our power ? Gull. Cheese mightiest , just so Emperor. In that case you are free at once to go. Gull. Huzza l They’re very small, but then they never misa Emperor. Ha 1 that glow 1 the palace ! my wife, the saint. Is in the flames ! Save her ! I can’t ! I faint I Gull. No bobbies, it looks like a conflagration, It’s a long way from Lilliput to Mile End Station. I’ll prescribe for fire — try water, I’ll allay’t ; Here comes the engine a t' an'palling rate. (Gets mater from fountain in his hat (rushes off) EMPRESS re-enters , tries to revive Emperor. Gulliver enters .) Empress. You noble hero ! Gull. What, my little beauty ? Empress. To embrace you I feel it is my duty. (She embraces him , he runs off with her .) Emperor. Ha 1 The monster carries off my wife. No ; now she escapes him. “ My love, my life 1 ” (Re-enter Empress.) Ah, once again I fold you in these arms, But now for veng’ance ; sound the war alarms, Help me to drive yon monster from our land, Your several guilds will form a glorious band I General Chorus. SCENE Y. (Enter the Fairy Nymphaline.) Nymph. In these domains of flying island King, Will Coraline her princely lover bring ; Rescued from shipwreck by her magic craft, She’d now expose him to the love-god’s shaft. Be that her task : I’ll Gulliver befriend, And hitherwards his wayward footsteps bend ; Prince Rover’s wandering he still must share, And be of good or evil fate co-heir. (Exit.') (Enter Teatrai, Vanhandsmixture, and Patricoluri Kumpitz.) Pat. Aisy, who is it grins ? I’ll stop your scoffing, And doff your hats, or I’ll your heads be doffing ; Ye blackguards, amn’t I with honours thick, First gentleman of the bedchamber — Lord High Candlestick! K.C.D.B., and Warming-pan in Waiting, Lord-Lieutenant, Sheriff, Knight o’ the Shire, Councillor, Guardian, Constable, Town Crier, Lord Chamberlain, Recorder, Judge aud Jury, Pluralism 1 Ye blackguards, dread my fury. The T^NCORE WHISKY. Hi BERNARD and CO., Leith Distillery, Scotland. Wbolwkle Dtpdt, Three Crown-square, Borough, S.E. Sold everywhere. Always ask for it 16 PAT. Why wouldn’t I ? Years since I left the green Isle’s sward, Erin go bragh , to go erring abroad. ’Twas the great of fateness, and I’m content, I rule King Tinpot here in banishment ; And by your lave, to tell you now I’ll try, How I became the Bismarck of Ski-hi, ( Enter Hoopla.) Hoopla. Hoopla 1 Grand Vizier ! much good order keep, The King he here, as always half a sleep. Him got a pretty toy-toy. Pat. Toy Toy ! that’s two. HOOPLA. No, one, one ! Monkey on stick ; him say it’s you ? Mile. Boom for the great Tinpot 1 ( Enter King & Mileaminnit#) King. Jib, jib, chi chunder head ! Pat. The same to you, We nayther understand, hut this way do. He jabbers, I think what he ought to say \ Then think he’s said it, so have my way. Give your orthers man, and get back to bed. King. Lum a loo la ! Pat. Hot or cold ? King. Sa, sa, sumeed* Lum a loo la ! Wanga, muddi jum jum see laiste. PAT. You’d get six months for it at the very least, Without hard labour, spite o’ the complainant Being a swell and first-class misdemeanant. Hoopla. King, he says “ maretee .” Pat. He does I What for man t Hoopla, He wish wed another wife 1 Pat. Oh 1 oh ! the Mormon I King. Nigi-phoo-whitey ! whitey ! Pat. The epicure ; Its a white wife now he’s wanting sure ! The thing’s preposterous, non-debative, We’ve not a foreigner but what’s a native. I’m lost entirely. ( Enter MlLEAMINNIT#) Mile. A lovely princess from a foreign land, With time to spare, and capital at hand, — Would customs study, with the permission Of court and country — now seeks admission. Here is her card — Princess Tricksey Wicksey ; Her eyes shine brighter than black lead of Nixey. ( Enter Fairy Coraline as Princess Tricksy Wicksy.) Tricksy. Most mighty King ! Vanhnds. Nein Miss, you are speaken, Do de ambassador of Paltry Peaken. Tricksy. I, in the Aerial Isle awhile would stay. Pat. By the powers, yer welcome as the flowers in May ! Tricksy. Yer spaich , or I’m mistake, with brogue seems minglishp ’Ice on parle Dublin ; Pat. Well, brogue' n English ! Hoopla. See, nice Miss, King he sleeps — Pat. While we’re debating, Wake up Jupiter ; don’t keep Venus waiting. King. Lum a loo la ! K The IJINCORE WHISKY. Lancet.— “ Wholesome and pleasant.* Sold everywhere. Always ask for it. 17 Pat. He says he’ll shine your boots. King. Na, nash ! nash ! Tricksy. His rage your inference confutes. King. Hussi bussi, num lum num, sock huskee baugh. Vanhnds. He broboses to make you his favourite squaw. Pat. He says she’s moine. King. Ni squash I Pat. Tricksy. Pat. King. Ye hear his oath : “ Pat, she is yours,” he says, “ and bless you both.” On my account each other don’t revile, I decline you both ; you’re not my style. We’re styles you’ll not get over, as you’ve said. Lum a loo la ! Pat. She says, “ Go and shave your head.’* Concerted Piece.— “ Gold / Gold / ” Pat. Allow me to inform you I rule the great Tinpot ! Tricksy. I scorn both him and you, sir ! Hoopla. Missie, you’d better not. Milamnt. There is a power stronger, A King’s rule far above, To which we all allegiance owe, That’s Love ! Love ! Love ! Tricksy. No ! no ! no ! with you I will not mingle ! Pat. Hold ! hold ! hold ! your temper pray don’t show ! Tricksy. You men strive hard to bore me, Pat. Oh, darling, I’ll adore thee ; Tricksy. The best reply that I can make is, No ! no ! no I Chorus. No ! no ! no ! with us she will not mingle ! Hold ! hold ! hold ! your temper do not show ! She tells us that we bore her. Though we say we adore her ; The only answer she can make is, no 1 no ! no ! ( All exit . Tricksy re-enters .) TRICKSY. I'm rid of them, and not too soon, it’s clear ; The Prince, as in my plan devised, is near. Dressed thus bizarre, if he be fancy free, His fancy fair its queen will choose in me. {Enter Prince Rover.) Song. — Prince. ’Tis sweet to take a ramble in the meadow, With your treasure leaning on your arm ; And linger while the twilight casts its shadows, And over all the lovely scene a charm. The sheep bells sweetly tinkle, The stars begin to twinkle, To see the lovers stray ; The flowers the meadows sprinkle, They give us both a wrinkle, To while the very pleasant time away. Prince. What strange adventures, faith ! an unseen hand, Stretch’d out in shipwreck, drew me safe to land ; The TjlNCORE WHISKY. J2 A British Medical Journal. — “ A safe stimulant.” Sold everywhere. Always ask for it. 18 Prince, Trickst. Prince, Tricksy. Prince. Tricksy. Prince, Tricksy, Prince. Tricksy. Prince. Tricksy. Prince. Prince. Still clasping mine it hither leads me on, Till on this palace threshold, lo, ’tis gone 1 One of the natives ! charms and beauties ample ; I hope the rest of them will equal sample. Good day, fair stranger 1 Welcome, sweet Prince Rover l She knows my name ! Oh, scissors ! it’s all over 1 To Dolly I’ve been true since I set out, But somehow feel a flutter hereabout. Dolly’s portrait, my talisman ’gainst danger ; She can't compare, tho’, with this handsome stranger. Td better go, alas ! poor luckless elf ! Why so ? I feel beside you I’m beside myself. Stay, stay, the custom here, strange, perhaps, but true,. Is to reverse love’s order ; here the ladies woe. Indeed ? how odd ; I must, then, be coy ? Sweet gentleman, I live but when you’re by ; Those ears, those elbows, those nose divine, Have raised such tempest in this breast of mine That on my knees I crave — No, don’t kneel down, The crossing’s not been swept, and you your gown Perhaps may soil. Be mine, I’ve long adored thee ; Canst now a modicum of love afford me ? Come dwell with me, a home shalt thou prepare, A trousseau costly that for thee I’ll wear ; A carriage too, wherein through mire and splash I’ll drive from shop to shop to spend thy cash ; And thou shalt labour, save in one month yearly, A Rhine or Swiss tour then will cost thee dearly. On winter nights thy home shall ever be To guest abandoned who’ll ne’er ask for thee . I'll buy old china, curious virtu-comical, And never, never, love, be economical. Last gift of all, to make thy home a heaven, Of mothers- in-law, my dear, thou shalt have seven. Dost like the picture ? Very ! Vows then seal. Nay, by your leave, the kiss I’d rather steal. duet. — “ Drifting with the Tide." Of happy moments in our life, This is the greatest bliss, With arms around the form you love, To try and steal a kiss. And then “ the question ” next to pop, And name the happy day ; Together on life’s journey go, The time will pass away. CHORUS. — Drifting with the tide. To the ripples of the stream, Then life would be a pleasure, And our troubles but a dream. The jgNCORB WHISKY. Medical Times.—' “ Very wholesome. May be safely used.’* Sold everywhere. Always ask for it. 19 CORAL. But do you think, my darling, that , : Y0u Could he true to me ? And, as tjic years go rolling by, ,Wh always should agree .1 If allibjB/.j.ugy as you have said, t\. ‘ ''Dull care we need not heed : The tree, of: course, bears happiness, I If : , pleasure plants the seed. chorus.— Drifting with the tide, kc. t k e. (Enter G ulliver.) Gull. Kind Christian friends, pity a sailor’s hardships, QuJfcigate, schooner, Chelsea boats, or guardships^ Wrecked on this waste, without a soul to treat me, Fearing the natives every hour will eat me. Reduced,’ by famine, and depressed by fears, I haven’t tasted food for several years ; From point to point of compass 1 keep veering. And eome past none to tell me where I’m steering. Not one to speak, and if I’m wrong or right tell, ijqllq 1 there’s some one ringing at my night bell. Prince ! Safe from the wreck 1 Ay, since life began I’ve always been a very reckle ss man ; Since we parted I’ve a pigmy army led. That is, they followed after when I fled. What islandei*s are these we’re cast among ? Not prppose ? What a chance for woman’* tongue ! Heigho 1 She, you see— Oh I young man l young man ! You’ve forgotten Dolly ! No 1 I never can ; But she’s so nice, I fear I’ve gone too far ,And can’t retract l Tut I leave it to your pa ! Observe the power of medicine. Hem l Madam, Since the advent of our parent Adam. The seat of life, the heart, in peer and clown Has been a seat where love too oft sits down, And don’t get up again ; but science with ease Has proved this passion is but a disease Which promptly taken (confused) — I said promptly — Before tooken to be well shaken — shooken l Phew! Tricksy, Oh, you funny man. Ha ! don’t try to frown, You can’t, you can’t, you can’t ; I’ll smile yon down. Gull. I'm carbonized 1 Tricksy. What ship ? Gull. Courtship 1 Tricksy. Get out ! Prince. Come, now Gulliver, mind what your about. Gull, Professional. Young man, don’t interefere. Pulse low 1 Tricksy. Bo are you l Prince. Gull. Prince. Gull. Prince. Gull. The J^NOORE WHISKY. Medical Press.— “ Invaluable as an alcoholic stimulant,*’ Sold everywhere. Always aek for It. 20 Gull. Prince, Gull. Prince. Dolly. Prince. Gull. Dolly. Gull. Dolly. Prince. Dolly. Prince. Pat. Prince. Pat. Dolly. Hoopla. King. Dolly. Prince. Gull. King. f)ULL. (Aside) Repulse ! that’s clear* My advice is that, without loss of time. You accept the love of some one in his prime* Leave her to your pa-in-law. (To Prince.) This behaviour I Do I not sacrifice myself to save you ? (To Tricksy) He’s almost wed, dear, and your love he slights. What ? You’re not almost wed, but you are quite. Fairest Princess, you are, I know, no less, To save you from this sea quack’s base caress, I on my bended knees your love implore, My heart its secret tells you, I adore I (Enter DOLLY.) Where am I ! This is sudden ! This is jolly. Your mother isn’t coming, is she Dolly ? Who’s that ? A case, my dear, we’ll indoors withdraw. (To Prince) Don’t follow ; leave it to your pa-in-law. (Exit Gulliver and Tricksy.) As fairies told, you’ve wavered from your plight, And here I’ve been transported. With delight ? Was’t false alarm ? Fairies deceived, not I ? Here’s something real. Now we cannot fly. (j Enter the King, Hoopla, Patri, Teatrai, Vanhands and Guards.) Ha ! away with them to the great cockroach cell, Benayth the black beetling cliff 1 Let me tell You, I’m a traveller, one of a nation Given to suing, sirs, for compensation. We’re not a railway company ; fear no threat. Don’t dare our sex to touch, or six months you’ll get I Bravo 1 Hoopla like you ; me wake the King, Hit him on nosey posey, dat’s de sort of ting. Luin a loo la ! Your face I’ll claw. Who dares ? (Enter GULLIB.) Now don’t, leave it to your pa-in-law. Hoy ! Surgeon aboard ; how’s the crew ? Who’s sick ? What’s prevalent ? Cholic, spasms, tic ! Cup, bleed, blister, chloroform, amputate you ; Hydropathy, pholy, or vaccinate you 1 It’s your ignorance, gents. But stay, To show our visit’s in a friendly way, When great men travel it is now the custom, That presents, they on friends and foes shall thrust ’em* We’ve brought a few. Lum a loo la ! Observe ! Now, mighty Tinpot, of the shaky nerve, A purse I’ve brought you from a land called Brum ; It shan’t go empty, now, mark well the sum, The TT'NCORE WHISKY. J2i Medical Record.— “ The purest of alcoholic stimulants.” Sold everywhere. Always ask for it. 21 Gull. King. Gull. Pat. Gull. Hoopla. Mile. Gull. Prince. I place three coins, half-crowns, that’s 7s. 6d. ; Now, ’twould be unlucky to give this for nix ; Two more half-crowns, there, 12s. 6d. you’ve got, Who’ll have it now, one shilling takes the lot. Lum a loo la ! The amount don’t shout ! If you’ve robbed the treasury, sir, look out. {Exit King and Courtiers.) Thus without loss you may fee the Prophet . {Re-enter Hoopla and Mileaminnit.) This island’s dangerous ; I’ll show you off it. I, too, will help to get you safe away ; This is a “ show-off ” that you must obey. You will ? I’ll slip away somewhere, That Princess find, and all her dangers share. Quartette and Chorus— u Sweet Jenny Johnson .” Mil. There’s a near little cut if you come through the lane, All. Hey quickly, ho quickly, let us get away ; Gull. I think it folly longer to remain, All. Hey we’ll be, ho we’ll be, gone soon. Dol. I’m not afraid while my Rover’s near, Prince. But still we’ll not tarry, dolly dear. Hoop, You’d better get away, that’s all I have to say, All. Hey we’ll be, ho we’ll be, gone soon. Chorus. Hey quickly, ho quickly, come along d’ye see, Ho quickly, hey quickly, we shall be free ; Free as a bee in a pumpkin tree, Hey we’ll be, ho we’ll be, gone soon. SCENE VI. — {Enter Drugs and Drachms.) DRUGS. Ten o’clock ! surgery hours are ended 1 Drachms. Now to tease missus as we intended. There’s Sergeant Bung to supper coming ; A cipher. We’ll have a lark at summing Him up ; first put him down, then carry, In short, we’ll play the very — Drugs. Hold, Harry l But if he arrests us to the stocks we go 1 I’m no stock-jobber, nothing yet so low. A large fortune make, and when I fail Like a Scotch Collie run, and give leg bail. Drachms. If we invisible ourselves could make, And vanish when the Sergeant tried to take— Drugs. Us. Hush I Drachms. Hush ! Drugs. I know where’s on master’s shelves A book of magic. Drachms, Ha ! Drugs. Let’s charm ourselves. {They exit cmd re-enter with hook.) The TT'NCORE WHISKY. Hi Practitioner. — M A safe stimulant,’ * Sold everywhere. Always ask, for it. 22 Drachms. “ How to raise the * ” (reading). Drucs. “ How to raise the Drachms. Clumsy ! Then who’ll come see.” (Enter Davy Jones.) Davy. Ho ! doctor’s shop, ahoy ! (aside) That spiteful fairy, Who ’stead of Coraline should be contrary, Of my victims baulk’d me, saved them from drowning As I my machinations just was crowning, (To Drugs) Master returned ? Drugs. No ! No 1 Drachms. No ! No 1 Davy. Where can they be f I’ll have them yet, if e’er they go to sea. Drugs. With him a year ago did master sail. He’s a (To Drachms). Drachms. Lor ! is he P Then where’s his tail ? Davy. What news of Gulliver ? Drugs. None. Davy. (aside) I must find him. (aloud) Just give me some article he left behind him. Drugs. (To Drachms) Let’s give him missus, just to save our life. Drachms. If you please, sir, you’re welcome to his wife. Drugs. Hie pipe. Davy. Good ! with this I’ll find his wheareabouts, With spell and incantations smoke him out. Good night ! Drachms. Pay for the pipe. Davy. Drugs, Eh? Pray be calmer. If you’re a sorcerer, sir, or charmer, Teach us the spell invisible to be When Sergeant Bung comes after him or me. Davy. Good! Drachms. You will ? When we’re pursued to save our bones. Davy. Two words pronounce. Both. And those words ? Davy. Davy Jones f / Drugs. Is he gone ? (Exit Davy Jones.) Drachms. All of him ? Drugs. Won’t it be fun To torment the watchman, then cut and run ? Drachms. And ojthet pranks in safety we can play ; The “ nSver-caughts,” we always get away. (Dance and exeunt — enter Mrs. Gulliver.) Mrs. G. Someone was singing (calls) Drugs ! Drachms ! Ah ! those boys ! They chaif my wailing ; make no end of noise. For twp. long years now solus here I’ve languished. With no one to solace me, of cheer my anguish, Save a drop of gin. I advise it meekly, £o be taken Aopdy, if taken weakly. My love is gone, in vain my grief I’d smother, In vain, alas ! I try to get another ; ‘ When I was younger a more charming lassie YTou^never saw, but now I’m getting passe. The l NCORE WHISKY. Sanitary Record,— “ An excellent * dietetic * stimulant." Bold everywhere. Always ask for it. 23 SONG — “ Vd like to be a little girl again'' When I was a little girl I was so plump and fat And pretty, it’s some years ago, I needn’t tell you that ; They^d give me twopences to spend on sweets to stop my cries. It’s precious few twopennorths^ now, that ever I enjoys. Oh ! if I was a little girl, A sweet little girl, a nice little girl, You’d sigh for me if I could be A little girl again. {Enter Drugs and Drachms.) Ah I you’ll come to grief ; there now, it’s said. You M.D's l Why your too M.T. in the head. Oh dear I oh dear ! now no more larking, please, A visitor is coming ; you mustn’t tease. DRUGS. I know : Bung, the nightwatch, he often comes. Mrs. G. One of my poor, dear husband’s oldest chums. You’ll be steady, won’t you ? Drachms. Oh l of course 1 Drugs. Oh yes l Mrs. G. That’s him. Drugs. His ring, I think I Drachms. Our pull, I guess ! (Enter Sergeant Bung.) Serg. Past ten o’clock, and a bright shiny night. DRUGS. It’s just struck one ; your clock it can’t be right. Mrs. G. Don’t mind them, Sergeant, pray ! Serg. I’ll trounce the dog. Drachms, Supper ! supper 1 Drugs. Mrs. G. Serg. Mrs. G. Serg. Mrs. G. Pat. Gull. Pat. Dolly. Pat. Dolly. All right, bring in the prog I You remind me of poor Gull l Do I annoy ? No ; I like it ! He was a man — Drat that boy 1 I’ll, I’ll — Yes, do ! Don’t their nonsense bear, I trust to your protection ; there ! (Business . — Vampyre Chace .) • SCENE YU. The Island of Laputa . (Enter Patricoluri Kumfitz, very ill.) Where’s that doctor ? Sure he does good by stealth, For since he’s here we all enjoy bad health ; Devil a pity, exile, that’s how I’ll trate you. (Enter Gulliver and Dolly.) Is there anyone ill ? Bleed you, amputate you ! Is there anyone not ill ? (Enter Yanhandsmixture and Teatrai, heads tied up.) Gaze on that scene. Why pa, you see, can make e’en fat men lean. You’ve the island doctored, and mortality. And hospitals give for hospitality. Quite proper. The T^NCORE WHISKY. Hi Public Health.—