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CHESTERFIELDS 
 
 toflis'Son. 
 
 'N.M.CnJ dwell Co. 
 New York™* 'Boston. 
 
Copyright, igoo 
 By H. M. Caldwell Co. 
 
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 t 
 
 Prefatory Remarks 
 
 pHILIP DORMER STANHOPE, 
 Earl of Chesterfield, 1694-1773, 
 has had the fate of being generally mis- 
 understood. Doctor Johnson, then Mr., 
 a poor scholar but in the prime of life, 
 seems to have mistaken a delay in an 
 interview, and to have abused his lord- 
 ship very soundly ever afterward, 
 although on Chesterfield’s side there 
 was not wanting a most gracious move- 
 ment toward reconciliation where no 
 offence had been given. To this mis- 
 conception we owe one of the finest 
 and manliest letters ever written ; but 
 we cannot overlook the blunder. 
 
 3 
 
#4 Prefatory Remarks 
 
 After this, too, came the condem- 
 nation of the celebrated letters, — a 
 savage epigram, only partially true, 
 and redeemed by a more favourable 
 criticism. If Mr. Dickens painted 
 — as it has been said he did — Sir 
 John Chester from Lord Chesterfield, 
 he equally mistook the man ; and we 
 are sorry to add to this list of those 
 who have followed Johnson’s lead, Mrs. 
 Oliphant, in her recent admirable cc His- 
 torical Sketches.” 
 
 The simple truth is, that men are to 
 be judged by the places, temper of the 
 times, nay, even the very atmosphere 
 which surrounds them, — and Chester- 
 field lived in a lax, immoral time, when 
 a mistress was as well recognised in 
 polite society as a concubine was in 
 the days of King David. The Cupidon 
 
Prefatory Remarks Hr 
 
 dechaine at The Hague, a beautiful young 
 lady, a governess or dame de compagnie , 
 set her wits against his, and suffered 
 the usual penalty ; she fell, and this 
 son to whom these letters are written 
 was the resultTjj But if Chesterfield 
 was not a Christian gentleman, he was 
 in some sense a gentleman ; Mademoi- 
 selle, or, as she was called, Madame de 
 Bouchet, was always treated with dis- 
 tinguished politeness, and when he died 
 he left her a legacy as some slight 
 recompense for the injury he had done 
 her. He married a lady of blood 
 royal, though crossed by a bar sinister 
 [daughter of George I. and the Duch- 
 ess of Kendal] , and this lady grew very 
 fond of his son Philip and respectfully 
 greeted the mother ; and for this son 
 more than a thousand letters attest the 
 
 5 
 
Prefatory Remarks 
 
 father’s affection ; he is placed under 
 the care of an excellent clergyman, he 
 is urged to pay the greatest attention 
 to his mother, to his tutor, to his 
 morals, to his upright, straightforward 
 behaviour, to his honesty. w I don’t 
 speak of religion,” writes his father, 
 u I am not in a position to do so ; the 
 excellent Mr. Harte will do that.” 
 We don’t defend Chesterfield’s faults, 
 but we must speak for his virtues. 
 Not one father in ten thousand, in 
 those days, was so good, so tender, and 
 so wise ; his son grew up to marry a 
 lady of whom his father knew nothing 
 till a widow and two children came as 
 suppliants, in that splendid room in 
 Chesterfield House where the old earl 
 sate in lonely greatness. He forgave 
 the dead son’s offence, and behaved 
 6 
 
Prefatory Remarks Hr 
 
 most generously to the children, two 
 boys, whom he educated. 
 
 Mrs. Eugenia Stanhope, the widow 
 of the recipient of these letters, sold 
 them, enhanced in value from the 
 earl’s literary reputation, for ^1,500! 
 an immense sum in those days. From 
 the two quartos of large margin and 
 printing, this compact volume is con- 
 densed. All that has been left out are 
 lessons in Greek and Roman history, 
 mythology, German history, and such 
 matters as might be written to a child. 
 Thence, even, if a sentence occurs 
 worth preserving, it has been picked 
 out. Let us not forget that the Earl 
 of Chesterfield — who writes much as 
 did Mr. Thackeray in his letter to 
 Brown the Younger — tells his son 
 that he always frequented the company 
 7 
 
#? Prefatory Remarks 
 
 of his superiors ; and his superiors 
 he reckoned not only by their rank. 
 u Doctor Swift and Mr. Pope,” he says, 
 u condescended to admit me into their 
 company, and, though they had no titles, 
 and I was an earl, I always felt that I 
 was obliged by their politeness, and 
 was favoured by being allowed to 
 converse with them.” Are there many 
 noblemen who would say so nowa- 
 days ? No, nor many Popes nor Swifts, 
 — nor, let us add, Chesterfields. 
 
 Mr. Stanhope has also been very 
 much misrepresented. He has been 
 called a cub, a bear, and an awkward 
 lout. Actually, he was a learned, skil- 
 ful diplomatist, for which profession, 
 be it remembered, his father specially 
 educated him. He was a manly, stout- 
 built Englishman, not a dancing-master, 
 
Prefatory Remarks Hr 
 
 and to lack grace was his only fault. 
 Subjective and brilliant writers of his- 
 tory have polished Mr. Stanhope with 
 a black-lead brush to suit their pur- 
 poses, but these brilliant fellows are, 
 as usual, false. James Boswell, the 
 biographer, who knew him, says truly 
 enough, “ Mr. Stanhope’s character 
 has been unjustly represented as being 
 diametrically opposite to what Lord 
 Chesterfield wished him to be. He 
 has been called dull, gross, and awk- 
 ward ; but I knew him at Dresden, 
 when he was envoy to that court, and 
 though he could not boast of the graces, 
 he was, in fact, a sensible, civil, well- 
 behaved man.” Other persons, and 
 more than one lady in these pages, 
 speak much more highly than Boswell 
 does of him. 
 
 9 
 
Prefatory Remarks 
 
 But the chief defence of both father 
 and son lies in the following pages. 
 The Editor of the “ Remarque Series” 
 believes that such a book is eminently 
 needed by the present age, and that 
 this book is wonderfully well fitted for 
 what is known in literary slang as the 
 u Period.” Higher morality is to be 
 had, but is not read ; this honest world- 
 ling will speak to the hearts of those 
 who are already set upon the world, 
 will guide them rightly, according to 
 his lights, will leave them at a higher 
 stage, and will perhaps astonish them 
 when they reflect that in outward result 
 the teachings of this adroit and cunning 
 courtier and man of the world, and of 
 the too often despised preacher, are the 
 same. 
 
 io 
 
 J. H. F. 
 
Selections from 
 
 Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
Selections from 
 Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 The Art of Speaking. — You 
 cannot but be convinced that a man 
 who speaks and writes with elegance 
 and grace ; who makes choice of good 
 words ; and adorns and embellishes the 
 subject upon which he either speaks 
 or writes, will persuade better, and 
 succeed more easily in obtaining what 
 he wishes, than a man who does not 
 explain himself clearly ; speaks his 
 language ill ; or makes use of low and 
 vulgar expressions ; and who has 
 neither grace nor elegance in anything 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 that he says. Now it is by rhetoric 
 that the art of speaking eloquently is 
 taught : and, though I cannot think of 
 grounding you in it as yet, I would 
 wish, however, to give you an idea of it 
 suitable to your age. 1 
 
 The first thing you should attend to 
 is to speak whatever language you do 
 speak, in its greatest purity, and ac- 
 cording to the rules of grammar; for 
 we must never offend against grammar, 
 nor make use of words which are not 
 really words. This is not all ; for not 
 to speak ill, is not sufficient ; we must 
 
 1 In a previous letter, which has been lost, 
 Chesterfield has been teaching rhetoric to a boy 
 of about seven years old, for, referring to it, he 
 says : “ En verite je crois que vous etes le pre- 
 mier gargon a qui, avant Vdge de huit ans , on ait 
 jamais parle des figures de la rhetorique, comme 
 j’ai fait dans ma derniere.” 
 
 12 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters ^ 
 
 speak well ; and the best method of 
 attaining to that is to read the best 
 authors with attention ; and to observe 
 how people of fashion speak, and those 
 who express themselves best ; for shop- 
 keepers, common people, footmen, and 
 maid servants, all speak ill. [ Bath , 
 Oct. 17, 1739.] 
 
 Oratory. — The business of ora- 
 tory is to persuade people ; and you 
 easily feel that to please people is a 
 great step toward persuading them. 
 You must, then, consequently be sen- 
 sible how advantageous it is for a man 
 who speaks in public, whether it be in 
 Parliament, in the pulpit, or at the bar 
 (that is, in the courts of law), to please 
 his hearers so much as to gain their 
 attention : which he can never do with- 
 out the help of oratory. It is not 
 
 13 
 
tH Selections 
 
 enough to speak the language he speaks 
 in its utmost purity, and according to 
 the rules of grammar ; but he must 
 speak it elegantly ; that is, he must 
 choose the best and most expressive 
 words, and put them in the best order. 
 He should likewise adorn what he says 
 by proper metaphors, similes, and other 
 figures of rhetoric ; and he should 
 enliven it, if he can, by quick and 
 sprightly turns of wit. [ November , 
 
 I 739 < ] 
 
 The Folly of Ignorance. — An 
 ignorant man is insignificant and con- 
 temptible ; nobody cares for his com- 
 pany, and he can just be said to live, 
 and that is all. There is a very pretty 
 French epigram upon the death of such 
 an ignorant, insignificant fellow, the 
 sting of which is that all that can be 
 14 
 
Lord Chesterfield's Letters Hr 
 
 said of him is that he was once alive, 
 and that he is now dead. This is the 
 epigram, which you may get by heart : 
 
 “ Colas est mort de maladie, 
 
 Tu veux que j’en pleure le sort, 
 
 Que diable veux-tu que j’en dis ? 
 
 Colas vivoit, Colas est mort.” 
 
 Take care not to deserve the name 
 of Colas ; 1 which I shall certainly give 
 you, if you do not learn well. [No 
 date .] 
 
 The Reward of Virtue. — If a 
 virtuous man be ever so poor or un- 
 fortunate in the world, still his virtue 
 is his own reward and will comfort him 
 under his afflictions. The quiet and 
 
 1 We learn by a subsequent reference that 
 the little fellow wished not to be called Colas, 
 but Polyglot, from knowing already three or 
 four languages. 
 
 15 
 
Selections 
 
 satisfaction of his conscience make 
 him cheerful by day and sleep sound 
 of nights ; he can be alone with pleas- 
 ure and is not afraid of his own 
 thoughts. Besides this, he is esteemed 
 and respected ; for even the most 
 wicked people themselves cannot help 
 admiring and respecting virtue in others. 
 A poet says : 
 
 “ Ipsa quidem virtus, sibimet pulcherrima 
 merces .” 1 
 
 Politeness a Necessity. — Know, 
 then, that as learning, honour, and 
 
 1 So also Home : 
 
 “ Amen ! and virtue is its own reward.” 
 
 — Douglas , Act iii. Sc. I. 
 
 And Claudian, quoted by Chesterfield, 
 
 “ Ipsa quidem virtus pretium sibi, solaque late 
 Fortunae secura nitet,” etc. 
 
 16 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 virtue are absolutely necessary to gain 
 you the esteem and admiration of man- 
 kind, politeness and good breeding are 
 equally necessary, to make you wel- 
 come and agreeable in conversation, 
 and common life. Great talents, such 
 as honour, virtue, learning, and parts, 
 are above the generality of the world ; 
 who neither possess them themselves, 
 nor judge of them rightly in others : 
 but all people are judges of the lesser 
 talents, such as civility, affability, and 
 an obliging, agreeable address and 
 manner; because they feel the good 
 effects of them, as making society easy 
 and pleasing. 
 
 Youthful Emulation. — This is 
 the last letter I shall write to you as to 
 a little boy ; for, to-morrow, if I am 
 not mistaken, you will attain your 
 1 7 
 
Selections 
 
 ninth year ; so that for the future, I 
 shall treat you as a youth. You must 
 now commence a different course of 
 life, a different course of studies. No 
 more levity ; childish toys and play- 
 things must be thrown aside, and your 
 mind directed to serious objects. What 
 was not unbecoming of a child would 
 be disgraceful to a youth. Wherefore, 
 endeavour, with all your might, to show 
 a suitable change ; and, by learning, 
 good manners, politeness, and other 
 accomplishments, to surpass those 
 youths of your own age, whom 
 hitherto you have surpassed when 
 boys. 1 May the Almighty preserve 
 
 1 Written in Latin. Philippus Chesterfield, 
 Philippo Stanhope adhuc puerulo , sed eras e 
 pueritid egressuro. S. D. Dated, Kalend, Maii, 
 1741. 
 
 18 
 
Lord Chesterfield's Letters f# 
 
 you and bestow on you his choicest 
 blessings. 
 
 Manner — Absence — Awkward- 
 ness — Attention. — However tri- 
 fling a genteel manner may sound, it 
 is of very great consequence toward 
 pleasing in private life, especially the 
 women ; which (j/V), one time or other, 
 you will think worth pleasing : and I 
 have known many a man, from his 
 awkwardness, give people such a dislike 
 of him at first, that all his merit could 
 not get the better of it afterward. 
 Whereas a genteel manner prepossesses 
 people in your favour, bends them 
 towards you, and makes them wish to 
 like you. Awkwardness can proceed 
 but from two causes ; either from not 
 having kept good company, or from not 
 having attended to it. As for your 
 i9 
 
Selections 
 
 keeping good company, I will take care 
 of that ; do you take care to observe 
 their ways and manners, and to form 
 your own upon them. Attention is 
 absolutely necessary for this, as indeed it 
 is for everything else ; and a man 
 without attention is not fit to live in 
 the world. When an awkward fellow 
 first comes into a room, it is highly 
 probable that his sword gets between 
 his legs, and throws him down, or 
 makes him stumble at least ; when he 
 has recovered this accident, he goes and 
 places himself in the very place of the 
 whole room where he should not ; there 
 he soon lets his hat fall down, and, in 
 taking it up again, throws down his 
 cane ; in recovering his cane, his hat 
 falls a second time ; so that he is a 
 quarter of an hour before he is in order 
 
 20 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 again. If he drinks tea or coffee, he 
 certainly scalds his mouth, and lets 
 either the cup or the saucer fall, and 
 spills the tea or coffee in his breeches. N 
 At dinner, his awkwardness distin- 
 guishes itself particularly, as he has 
 more to do ; there he holds his knife, 
 fork, and spoon differently from other 
 people ; eats with his knife to the great 
 danger of his mouth, picks his teeth 
 with his fork, and puts his spoon, which 
 has been in his throat twenty times, into 
 the dishes again. If he is to carve, he 
 can never hit the joint ; but, in his vain 
 efforts to cut through the bone, scatters 
 the sauce in everybody’s face. He 
 generally daubs himself with soup and 
 grease, though his napkin is commonly 
 stuck through a buttonhole, and tickles 
 his chin. When he drinks, he infalli- 
 
 21 
 
Selections 
 
 bly coughs in his glass, and besprinkles 
 the company. Besides all this, he has 
 strange tricks and gestures ; such as 
 snuffing up his nose, making faces, put- 
 ting his fingers in his nose, or blowing 
 it and looking afterward in his hand- 
 kerchief, so as to make the company 
 sick. His hands are troublesome to 
 him, when he has not something in 
 them, and he does not know where to 
 put them ; but they are in perpetual 
 motion between his bosom and his 
 breeches ; he does not wear his clothes, 
 and, in short, does nothing like other 
 people. All this, I own, is not in any 
 degree criminal ; but it is highly disa- 
 greeable and ridiculous in company, and 
 ought most carefully to be avoided by 
 whoever desires to please. 
 
 From this account of what you 
 
 22 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 should not do, you may easily judge 
 what you should do ; and a due atten- 
 tion to the manners of people of fashion, 
 and who have seen the world, will make 
 it habitual and familiar to you. 
 
 There is, likewise, an awkwardness 
 of expression and words, most carefully 
 to be avoided ; such as false English, 
 bad pronunciation, old sayings, and 
 common proverbs ; which are so many 
 proofs of having kept bad and low com- 
 pany. For example : if, instead of say- 
 ing that tastes are different, and that 
 every man has his own peculiar one, 
 you should let off a proverb, and say 
 that “ what is one man’s meat is an- 
 other man’s poison or else, u Every 
 one as they like, as the good man said 
 when he kissed his cow everybody 
 would be persuaded that you had never 
 
 23 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 kept company with anybody above foot- 
 men and housemaids. 
 
 Attention will do all this ; and with- 
 out attention nothing is to be done ; 
 want of attention, which is really want 
 of thought, is either folly or madness. 
 You should not only have attention to 
 everything, but a quickness of attention, 
 so as to observe, at once, all the people 
 in the room ; their motions, their looks, 
 and their words ; and yet without star- 
 ing at them, and seeming to be an ob- 
 server. This quick and unobserved 
 observation is of infinite advantage in 
 life, and is to be acquired with care ; 
 and, on the contrary, what is called ab- 
 sence, which is a thoughtlessness and 
 want of attention about what is doing, 
 makes a man so like either a fool or a 
 madman, that, for my part, I see no real 
 24 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 difference. A fool never has thought, 
 a madman has lost it ; and an absent 
 man is, for the time, without it. 1 2 
 [ Dated Spa , July 25, N. S. 1741.] 
 Keep Your Word. — I am sure you 
 know that breaking of your word is a 
 folly, a dishonour, and a crime. It is 
 folly, because nobody will trust you af- 
 terward > and it is both a dishonour 
 and a crime, truth being the first duty 
 of religion and morality : and whoever 
 has not truth cannot be supposed to 
 have any one good quality, and must 
 
 1 In the compilation called “ Lord Chester- 
 field’s Maxims,” wherein part of this letter is 
 given, all the characteristic points are left out. 
 Thus, where Chesterfield reminds his son that 
 manner is of consequence in pleasing, especially 
 the women , the purist has excised the words 
 in italics. In the Remarque editions the very 
 words of the authors are scrupulously given. 
 
 2 5 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 become the detestation of God and 
 man. Therefore, I expect, from your 
 truth and your honour, that you will 
 do that which, independently of your 
 promise, your own interest and ambi- 
 tion ought to incline you to do ; that 
 is, to excel in everything you under- 
 take. When I was of your age, I 
 should have been ashamed if any boy 
 of that age had learned his book better, 
 or played at any play better than I did ; 
 and I would not have rested a moment 
 till I had got before him. Julius Cae- 
 sar, who had a noble thirst of glory, 
 used to say that he would rather be the 
 first in a village, than the second in 
 Rome ; and he even cried when he saw 
 the statue of Alexander the Great, with 
 the reflection of how much more glory 
 Alexander had acquired, at thirty years 
 26 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 old, than he at a much more advanced 
 age. These are the sentiments to make 
 people considerable ; and those who 
 have them not will pass their lives in 
 obscurity and contempt ; whereas those 
 who endeavour to excel all, are at least 
 sure of excelling a great many. [June^ 
 1742.] 
 
 Good Breeding. — Though I need 
 not tell one of your age, 1 experience, 
 and knowledge of the world how nec- 
 essary good breeding is, to recommend 
 one to mankind ; yet, as your various 
 occupations of Greek and cricket, Latin 
 and pitch-farthing, may possibly divert 
 your attention from this object, I take 
 the liberty of reminding you of it, and 
 desiring you to be very well-bred at 
 
 1 His lordship’s badinage, or it may be sar- 
 casm, which the little boy quickly perceived. 
 
 27 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 Lord Orrery’s. It is good breeding 
 alone that can prepossess people in your 
 favour at first sight ; more time being 
 necessary to discover greater talents. 
 This good breeding, you know, does 
 not consist in low bows and formal 
 ceremony ; but in an easy, civil, and 
 respectful behaviour. You will there- 
 fore take care to answer with com- 
 plaisance, when you are spoken to ; 
 to place yourself at the lower end of 
 the table, unless bid to go higher ; 
 to drink first to the lady of the house, 
 and next to the master; not to eat 
 awkwardly or dirtily ; not to sit when 
 others stand ; and to do all this with 
 an air of complaisance, and not with 
 a grave, sour look, as if you did it 
 at all unwillingly. [iVi? date , Letter 
 7 °.] 
 
 28 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 Letter Writing. — Let your let- 
 ter be written as accurately as you are 
 able — I mean with regard to language, 
 grammar, and stops ; for as to the matter 
 of it the less trouble you give yourself 
 the better it will be. Letters should 
 be easy and natural, and convey to the 
 persons to whom we send them, just 
 what we should say to the persons if we 
 were with them. \_No date. Letter 72.] 
 Dancing Trifling. — Dancing is 
 in itself a very trifling, silly thing ; but 
 it is one of those established follies to 
 which people of sense are sometimes 
 obliged to conform ; and then they 
 should be able to do it well. And, 
 though I would not have you a dancer, 
 yet, when you do dance, I would have 
 you dance well, as I would have you do 
 everything you do, well. There is no 
 2 9 
 
tH Selections 
 
 one thing so trifling, but which (if it is 
 to be done at all) ought to be done 
 well. And I have often told you that 
 I wished you even played at pitch, and 
 cricket, better than any boy at West- 
 minster. For instance : dress is a very 
 foolish thing ; and yet it is a very fool- 
 ish thing for a man not to be well 
 dressed, according to his rank and way 
 of life ; and it is so far from being a 
 disparagement to any man’s understand- 
 ing, that it is rather a proof of it, to be 
 as well dressed as those whom he lives 
 with : the difference in this case be- 
 tween a man of sense and a fop is, that 
 the fop values himself upon his dress ; 
 and the man of sense laughs at it, at the 
 same time that he knows he must not 
 neglect it ; there are a thousand foolish 
 customs of this kind, which not being 
 
 30 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hf 
 
 criminal must be complied with, and 
 even cheerfully, by men of sense. Di- 
 ogenes the cynic was a wise man for 
 despising them, but a fool for showing 
 it. Be wiser than other people if you 
 can, but do not tell them so. \_Dublin 
 Castle Nov . 19, 1745. 1 ] 
 
 The Well-bred Man — Feels him- 
 self firm and easy in all companies $ 
 is modest without being bashful, and 
 steady without being impudent : if he 
 is a stranger, he observes, with care, 
 the manners and ways of the people 
 the most esteemed at that place, and 
 conforms to them with complaisance. 
 Instead of finding fault with the cus- 
 toms of that place, and telling the 
 people that the English ones are a 
 thousand times better (as my country- 
 1 His lordship was then Viceroy of Ireland. 
 
 3 1 
 
?H Selections 
 
 men are very apt to do), he commends 
 their table, their dress, their houses, 
 and their manners, a little more, it 
 may be, than he really thinks they 
 deserve. But this degree of complais- 
 ance is neither criminal nor abject, 
 and is but a small price to pay for the 
 good will and affection of the people 
 you converse with. As the generality 
 of people are weak enough to be pleased 
 with these little things, those who 
 refuse to please them, so cheaply, are, 
 in my mind, weaker than they. [ Same 
 month , O. 5 ., 1746.] 
 
 “ L’Art de Plaire.” — There is a 
 very pretty little French book, written 
 by L’Abbe de Bellegarde, entitled 
 “ V Art de Plaire dans la Conversation ; ” 1 
 
 1 A good-natured but somewhat silly book, in 
 which M. L’Abbe instructs certain young ladies 
 32 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 and, though I confess that it is impos- 
 sible to reduce the art of pleasing to 
 a system, yet this principle I will lay 
 down, that the desire of pleasing is 
 at least half the art of doing it ; the 
 rest depends only upon the manner 
 which attention, observation, and fre- 
 quenting good company will teach. 
 But if you are lazy, careless, and 
 indifferent whether you please or not, 
 depend upon it you never will please. 
 [ Same date.~\ 
 
 Introspection. — You must look 
 into people, as well as at them. Almost 
 all people are born with all the passions, 
 to a certain degree ; but almost every 
 man has a prevailing one, to which the 
 others are ordinate. Search every 
 
 and gentlemen by the means of sundry conver- 
 sations and reflections. 
 
 33 
 
Selections 
 
 one for that ruling passion ; pry into 
 the recesses of his heart, and observe 
 the different workings of the same pas- 
 sion in different people. And, when you 
 have found out the prevailing passion 
 of any man, remember never to trust 
 him, where that passion is concerned. 
 Work upon him by it, if you please ; 
 but be upon your guard yourself against 
 it, whatever professions he may make 
 you. [. November , 1746.] 
 
 How to Dress. — Take great care 
 always to be dressed like the reasonable 
 people of your own age, in the place 
 where you are ; whose dress is never 
 spoken of one way or another, as 
 either too negligent or too much 
 studied. \Same date.~\ 
 
 Absent People. — What is com- 
 monly called an absent man is 
 34 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 commonly either a very weak or a very 
 affected man ; but be he which he 
 will, he is, I am sure, a very disagreeable 
 man in company. He fails in all the 
 common offices of civility ; he seems 
 not to know those people to-day, with 
 whom yesterday he appeared to live 
 in intimacy. He takes no part in 
 the general conversation ; but, on the 
 contrary, breaks into it, from time to 
 time, with some start of his own, as 
 if he waked from a dream. This (as 
 I said before) is a sure indication, 
 either of a mind so weak that it is 
 not able to bear above one object 
 at a time ; or so affected, that it would 
 be supposed to be wholly engrossed by, 
 and directed to, some very great and 
 important objects. Sir Isaac Newton, 
 Mr. Locke, and (it may be) five or 
 35 
 
tH Selections 
 
 six more, since the creation of the 
 world, may have had a right to absence, 
 from that intense thought which the 
 things they were investigating required. 
 But if a young man, and a man of 
 the world, who has no such avocations 
 to plead, will claim and exercise that 
 right of absence in company, his pre- 
 tended right should, in my mind, be 
 turned into an involuntary absence, by 
 his perpetual exclusion out of company. 
 [Ibid.] 
 
 Flattery. — Most people (I might 
 say all people) have their weaknesses ; 
 they have their aversions and their 
 likings, to such and such things ; so 
 that, if you were to laugh at a man 
 for his aversion to a cat, or cheese 
 (which are common antipathies), or, 
 by inattention and negligence, to let 
 3 6 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 them come in his way, where you 
 could prevent it, he would, in the first 
 case, think himself insulted, and, in 
 the second, slighted ; and would remem- 
 ber both. Whereas your care to 
 procure for him what he likes, and 
 to remove from him what he hates, 
 shows him that he is at least an object 
 of your attention ; flatters his vanity, 
 and makes him possibly more your 
 friend than a more important service 
 would have done. With regard to 
 women, attentions still below these are 
 necessary, and, by the custom of the 
 world, in some measure due, according 
 to the laws of good breeding. 
 
 Employment of Time. — I hope 
 you employ your whole time, which 
 few people do ; and that you put every 
 moment to profit of some kind or 
 37 
 
tH Selections 
 
 other. I call company, walking, riding, 
 etc., employing one’s time, and, upon 
 proper occasions, very usefully ; but 
 what I cannot forgive, in anybody, is 
 sauntering, and doing nothing at all 
 with a thing so precious as time, and 
 so irrecoverable when lost. \P ec. 9,0. 
 
 s ~> 1746.] 
 
 Virtue and Gold. — Virtue and 
 learning, like gold, have their intrinsic 
 value ; but if they are not polished, 
 they certainly lose a great deal of their 
 lustre : and even polished brass will pass 
 upon more people than rough gold. 
 What a number of sins does the cheer- 
 ful, easy good breeding of the French 
 frequently cover ? Many of them want 
 common sense, many more common 
 learning ; but, in general, they make 
 up so much by their manner for these 
 38 
 
Lord Chesterfield's Letters 
 
 defects, that, frequently, they pass un- 
 discovered. I have often said, and do 
 think, that a Frenchman, who, with a 
 fund of virtue, learning, and good sense, 
 has the manners and good breeding of 
 his country, is the perfection of human 
 nature. \March, 1747.] 
 
 Gambling. — The same as to gam- 
 ing. I did not want money ; and, con- 
 sequently, had no occasion to play for 
 it ; but I thought play another neces- 
 sary ingredient in the composition of 
 a man of pleasure, and accordingly I 
 plunged into it, without desire, at first ; 
 sacrificed a thousand real pleasures to 
 it ; and made myself solidly uneasy by 
 it, for thirty the best years of my life. 
 
 I was even absurd enough, for a little 
 while, to swear, by way of adorning and 
 completing the shining character which 
 39 
 
/r> 
 
 Selections 
 
 I affected ; but this folly I soon laid 
 aside upon finding both the guilt and 
 indecency of it. 
 
 Thus seduced by fashion, and blindly 
 adopting nominal pleasures, I lost real 
 ones ; and my fortune impaired, and 
 my constitution shattered, are, I must 
 confess, the just punishment of my 
 errors. 
 
 Take warning, then, by them ; choose 
 your pleasures for yourself, and do not 
 let them be imposed upon you. Follow 
 nature, and not fashion ; weigh the 
 present enjoyment of your pleasures, 
 against the necessary consequences of 
 them, and then let your own common 
 sense determine your choice. \March 
 
 2 7> I747-] 
 
 Personal Cleanliness. — As you 
 must attend to your manners, so you 
 40 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 must not neglect your person ; but take 
 care to be very clean, well dressed, and 
 genteel ; to have no disagreeable atti- 
 tudes, nor awkward tricks ; which many 
 people use themselves to, and then can- 
 not leave them off. Do ,you take care 
 to keep your teeth very clean, by wash- 
 ing them constantly every morning, and 
 after every me d ? This is very neces- 
 sary, both to preserve your teeth a great 
 while, and to save you a great deal of 
 pain. Mine have plagued me long, 
 and are now falling out, merely for 
 want of care when I was of your age. 
 Do you dress well, and not too well ? 
 Do you consider your air and manner 
 of presenting yourself, enough, and not 
 too much ? neither negligent nor stiff. 
 All these things deserve a degree of 
 care, a second-rate attention ; they give 
 41 
 
W; Selections 
 
 an additional lustre to real merit. My 
 Lord Bacon says that a pleasing figure 
 is a perpetual letter of recommendation. 
 It is certainly an agreeable forerunner 
 of merit, and smooths the way for it. 
 [July 30, 1747.] 
 
 Lying. — I really know nothing 
 more criminal, more mean, and more 
 ridiculous, than lying. It is the pro- 
 duction either of malice, cowardice, or 
 vanity ; and generally misses of its aim 
 in every one of these views ; for lies 
 are always detected, sooner or later. 
 If I tell a malicious lie, in order to af- 
 fect any man’s fortune or character, I 
 may indeed injure him for some time, 
 but I shall be sure to be the greatest 
 sufferer myself at last ; for as soon as 
 ever I am detected (and detected I most 
 certainly shall be), I am blasted for the 
 42 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters He 
 
 infamous attempt ; and whatever is said 
 afterward, to the disadvantage of that 
 person, however true, passes for cal- 
 umny. If I lie, or equivocate, for it is 
 the same thing, in order to excuse my- 
 self for something that I have said or 
 done, and to avoid the danger or the 
 shame that I apprehend from it, I dis- 
 cover at once my fear, as well as my 
 falsehood ; and only increase, instead of 
 avoiding the danger and the shame ; I 
 show myself to be the lowest and the 
 meanest of mankind, and am sure to be 
 always treated as such. Remember as 
 long as you live, that nothing but strict 
 truth can carry you through the world 
 with either your conscience or your 
 honour unwounded. It is not only 
 your duty, but your interest ; as a proof 
 of which, you may always observe that 
 43 
 
Selections 
 
 the greatest fools are the greatest liars ; 
 For my own part, I judge of every 
 man’s truth by his degree of under- 
 standing. [Sept. 21, 1747.] 
 
 Good Breeding. — Civility, which 
 is a disposition to accommodate and 
 oblige others, is essentially the same in 
 every country ; but good breeding, as it 
 is called, which is the manner of exert- 
 ing that disposition, is different in almost 
 every country, and merely local ; and 
 every man of sense imitates and con- 
 forms to that local good breeding of 
 the place which he is at. A conformity 
 and flexibility of manners is necessary 
 in the course of the world; that is, 
 with regard to all things which are not 
 wrong in themselves. The versatile 
 ingenium is the most useful of all. It 
 can turn itself instantly from one ob- 
 
 44 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 ject to another, assuming the proper 
 manner for each. It can be serious 
 with the grave, cheerful with the gay, 
 and trifling with the frivolous. En- 
 deavour, by all means, to acquire this 
 talent, for it is a very great one. [Oct. 
 
 2> I 747-] 
 
 Good Company. — There are two 
 sorts of good company ; one, which is 
 called the beau monde , and consists of 
 those people who have the lead in 
 courts, and in the gay part of life ; the 
 other consists of those who are distin- 
 guished by some peculiar merit, or who 
 excel in some particular and valuable 
 art or science. For my own part, I 
 used to think myself in company as 
 much above me, when I was with Mr. 
 Addison and Mr. Pope, as if I had been 
 with all the princes in Europe. What 
 45 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 I mean by low company, which should 
 by all means be avoided, is the company 
 of those, who, absolutely insignificant 
 and contemptible in themselves, think 
 they are honoured by being in your 
 company, and who flatter every vice 
 and every folly you have, in order to 
 engage you to converse with them. 
 The pride of being the first of the com- 
 pany is but too common ; but it is very 
 silly, and very prejudicial. Nothing in 
 the world lets down a character more 
 than that wrong turn. 
 
 You may possibly ask me, whether a 
 man has it always in his power to get 
 into the best company ? and how ? I 
 say, yes, he has, by deserving it ; pro- 
 vided he is but in circumstances which 
 enable him to appear upon the footing 
 of a gentleman. Merit and good breed- 
 46 
 
Lord Chesterfield's Letters Hr 
 
 ing will make their way everywhere. 
 Knowledge will introduce him, and 
 good breeding will endear him to the 
 best companies ; for, as I have often 
 told you, politeness and good breeding 
 are absolutely necessary to adorn any, 
 or all, other good qualities or talents. 
 Without them, no knowledge, no per- 
 fection whatsoever, is seen in its best 
 light. The scholar, without good breed- 
 ing, is a pedant ; the philosopher, a 
 cynic ; the soldier, a brute ; and every 
 man disagreeable. [Oct. 9, 1747.] 
 Busy Idleness. — There are a great 
 many people, who think themselves em- 
 ployed all day, and who, if they were 
 to cast up their accounts at night, 
 would find that they had done just 
 nothing. They have read two or three 
 hours, mechanically, without attending 
 47 
 
Selections 
 
 to what they read, and, consequently, 
 without either retaining it or reasoning 
 upon it. From thence they saunter 
 into company, without taking any part 
 in it, and without observing the charac- 
 ters of the persons, or the subjects of 
 the conversation ; but are either think- 
 ing of some trifle, foreign to the pres- 
 ent purpose, or, often, not thinking at 
 all ; which silly and idle suspension of 
 thought they would dignify with the 
 name of absence and distraction. They 
 go afterward, it may be, to the play, 
 where they gape at the company and 
 the lights ; but without minding the 
 very thing they went to, the play. 
 [Oct. 30, 1747.] 
 
 Action ! Action ! — Remember the 
 hoc age : do what you are about, be that 
 what it will ; it is either worth doing 
 
 48 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 well, or not at all. Wherever you 
 are, have (as the low, vulgar expression 
 is) your ears and your eyes about you. 
 Listen to everything that is said, and 
 see everything that is done. Observe 
 the looks and countenances of those 
 who speak, which is often a surer way 
 of discovering the truth, than from 
 what they say. [ Same date .] 
 
 Value of Time. — I knew, once, a 
 very covetous, sordid fellow, who used 
 frequently to say, “Take care of the 
 pence, for the pounds will take care of 
 themselves.” This was a just and sen- 
 sible reflection in a miser. I recom- 
 mend to you to take care of minutes ; 
 for hours will take care of themselves. 
 I am very sure that many people lose 
 two or three hours every day, by not 
 taking care of the minutes. Never 
 49 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 think any portion of time, whatsoever, 
 too short to oe employed ; something or 
 other may always be done in it. [Nov. 
 6, 1747.] 
 
 The Time to Learn. — Remember 
 that whatever knowledge you do not 
 solidly lay the foundation of before you 
 are eighteen, you will never be master of 
 while you breathe. [ Dec . 11, 1747.] 
 
 Knowledge. — Knowledge is a com- 
 fortable and necessary retreat and shel- 
 ter for us in an advanced age ; and if 
 we do not plant it while young, it will 
 give us no shade when we grow old. 
 [Same date.] 
 
 Polish. — Now, though I would not 
 recommend to you, to go into women’s 
 company in search of solid knowledge 
 or judgment, yet it has its use in other 
 respects ; for it certainly polishes the 
 
 50 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 manners, and gives une certain tournure , 
 which is very necessary in the course of 
 the world, and which Englishmen have 
 generally less of than any people in the 
 world. [Jan. 2, 1748.] 
 
 Thoroughness. — Whatever you do, 
 do it to the purpose ; do it thoroughly, 
 not superficially. Go to the bottom 
 of things. Anything half done, or 
 half known, is, in my mind, neither 
 done nor known at all. Nay, worse, 
 for it often misleads. There is hardly 
 any place, or any company, where you 
 may not gain knowledge, if you please ; 
 almost everybody knows some one 
 thing, and is glad to talk upon that 
 one thing. \Feb. 16, 1748-] 
 
 Proper Inquisitiveness. — Seek, and 
 you will find, in this world, as well 
 as in the next. See everything, inquire 
 5 1 
 
 u, OF ILL LIB. 
 
## Selections 
 
 into everything; and you may excuse 
 your curiosity and the questions you 
 ask, which otherwise might be thought 
 impertinent, by your manner of asking 
 them ; for most things depend a great 
 deal upon the manner. As, for exam- 
 ple, I am afraid that I am very trouble- 
 some with my questions ; but nobody can 
 inform me so well as you ; or something 
 of that kind. \Same date.~\ 
 
 Religion to Be Respected. — But 
 when you frequent places of public 
 worship, as I would have you go to 
 all the different ones you meet with, 
 remember, that, however erroneous, 
 they are none of them objects of laugh- 
 ter and ridicule. Honest error is to 
 be pitied, not ridiculed. The object 
 of all the public worships in the 
 world is the same ; it is that great 
 5 2 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 eternal Being who created everything. 
 The different manners of worship are 
 by no means subjects of ridicule. 
 Each sect thinks its own the best; 
 and I know no infallible judge, in this 
 world, to decide which is the best. 
 [Same date.~\ 
 
 Use a Note-book. — Make the 
 same inquiries, wherever you are, con- 
 cerning the revenues, the military 
 establishment, the trade, the commerce, 
 and the police of every country. 
 And you would do well to keep a 
 blank paper book, which the Germans 
 call an album ; and there, instead of 
 desiring, as they do, every fool they 
 meet with to scribble something, write 
 down all these things, as soon as they 
 come to your knowledge from good 
 authorities. [Same date.~\ 
 
 53 
 
Selections 
 
 Lord Chesterfield’s Care. — I 
 have now but one anxiety left, which is, 
 concerning you. I would have you 
 be, what I know nobody is, perfect. 
 As that is impossible, I would have you 
 as near perfection as possible. I know 
 nobody in a fairer way toward it than 
 yourself, if you please. Never were 
 so much pains taken for anybody’s 
 education as for yours ; and never had 
 anybody those opportunities of knowl- 
 edge and improvement which you 
 have had, and still have. I hope, I 
 wish, I doubt, and I fear alternately. 
 This only I am sure of, that you will 
 prove either the greatest pain, or the 
 greatest pleasure of, yours always truly. 
 \Same date . ] 
 
 /*How “ to Wear” Learning. — 
 / 
 
 /Wear your learning, like your watch, 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 in a private pocket ; and do not pull 
 it out and strike it, merely to show 
 that you have one. If you are asked 
 what o’clock it is, tell it, but do not 
 proclaim it hourly and unasked, like 
 the watchman. \Feb . 22, 1748.] / 
 
 The Folly of Laughter. — Hav- 
 ing mentioned laughing, I must particu- 
 larly warn you against it ; and I could 
 heartily wish that you may often be 
 seen to smile, but never heard to laugh, 
 while you live. Frequent and loud 
 laughter is the characteristic , of folly 
 and ill manners : it is the manner in 
 which the mob express their silly joy, 
 at silly things ; and they call it being 
 merry. In my mind, there is nothing 
 so illiberal and so ill-bred, as audible 
 laughter. True wit, or sense, never 
 yet made anybody laugh ; they are 
 
tH Selections 
 
 above it : they please the mind, and 
 give a cheerfulness to the countenance. 
 But it is low buffoonery, or silly ac- 
 cidents, that always excite laughter; 
 and that is what people of sense and 
 breeding should show themselves above. 
 A man’s going to sit down, in the 
 supposition that he has a chair behind 
 him, and falling down upon his breech 
 for want of one, sets a whole company 
 a-laughing, when all the wit in the 
 world would not do it ; a plain proof, 
 in my mind, how low and unbecom- 
 ing a thing laughter is. Not to mention 
 the disagreeble noise it makes, and the 
 shocking distortion of the face that 
 it occasions. Laughter is easily re- 
 strained, by a very little reflection ; but, 
 as it is generally connected with the idea 
 of gaiety, people do not enough attend 
 56 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 to its absurdity. I am neither of a 
 melancholy, nor a cynical disposition, 
 and am as willing and as apt to be 
 pleased as anybody ; but I am sure 
 that, since I have had the full use of 
 my reason, nobody has ever heard me 
 laugh. [ March 9, 1748 ] 
 
 The Mind. — It requires, also, a 
 great deal of exercise, to bring it to a 
 state of health and vigour. Observe 
 the difference there is between minds 
 cultivated and minds uncultivated, and 
 you will, I am sure, think that you 
 cannot take too much pains, nor 
 employ too much of your time, in 
 the culture of your own. A drayman 
 is probably born with as good organs 
 as Milton, Locke, or Newton ; but, 
 by culture, they are much more 
 above him than he is above his horse. 
 
 57 
 
#=? Selections 
 
 Sometimes, indeed, extraordinary gen- 
 iuses have broken out by the force of 
 nature, without the assistance of educa- 
 tion ; but those instances are too rare for 
 anybody to trust to ; and even they 
 would make a much greater figure, if 
 they had the advantage of education 
 into the bargain. \_April i, 1748.] 
 Chesterfield’s Proposed Aim. — 
 The end which I propose by your edu- 
 cation, and which (if you please) I shall 
 certainly attain, is to unite in you the 
 knowledge of a scholar, with the man- 
 ners of a courtier ; and to join, what is 
 seldom joined in any of my country- 
 men, books and the world. They are 
 commonly twenty years old before they 
 have spoken to anybody above their 
 schoolmaster, and the fellows of their 
 college. If they happen to have learn- 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters s# 
 
 ing, it is only Greek and Latin ; but 
 not one word of modern history, or 
 modern languages. Thus prepared, 
 they go abroad, as they call it ; but, in 
 truth they stay at home all that while ; 
 for being very awkward, confoundedly 
 ashamed, and not speaking the lan- 
 guages, they go into no foreign com- 
 pany, at least none good ; but dine and 
 sup with one another only, at the tav- 
 ern. Such examples, I am sure, you 
 will not imitate, but even carefully 
 avoid. [May io, 1748.] 
 
 Manly Deference to Rank. — 
 People of a low, obscure education 
 cannot stand the rays of greatness ; 
 they are frightened out of their wits 
 when kings and great men speak to 
 them ; they are awkward, ashamed, and 
 do not know what nor how to answer ; 
 
 59 
 
Selections 
 
 whereas les honnetes gens are not dazzled 
 by superior rank ; they know and pay all 
 the respect that is due to it ; but they 
 do it without being disconcerted ; and 
 can converse just as easily with a king, 
 as with any one of his subjects. That 
 is the great advantage of being intro- 
 duced young into good company, and 
 being used early to converse with one’s 
 superiors. How many men have I 
 seen here, who, after having had the full 
 benefit of an English education first 
 at school, and then at the university, 
 when they have been presented to the 
 king, did not know whether they stood 
 upon their heads or their heels. \May 
 17, 1748.] 
 
 Filial Love to the Mother. — 
 You owe her, not only duty, but like- 
 wise great obligations, for her care and 
 
 60 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 tenderness ; and consequently, cannot 
 take too many opportunities of showing 
 your gratitude. 1 [ Same dateJ\ 
 
 Diplomatic Education. — You 
 must absolutely speak all the modern 
 languages, as purely and correctly as the 
 natives of the respective countries ; for 
 whoever does not speak a language per- 
 fectly and easily, will never appear to 
 advantage in conversation, nor treat 
 with others in it upon equal terms. 
 [May 22, 1748.] 
 
 Advantage of Manners. — Man- 
 ners, though the last, and it may be the 
 least, ingredient of real merit, are, how- 
 ever, very far from being useless in its 
 composition ; they adorn, and give an 
 
 1 Lord Chesterfield had been urging his son to 
 send a Dresden tea service to his mother, which 
 he did. 
 
 61 
 
tH Selections 
 
 additional force and lustre to both vir- 
 tue and knowledge. They prepare and 
 smooth the way for the progress of 
 both ; and are, I fear, with the bulk of 
 mankind, more engaging than either. 
 Remember, then, the infinite advantage 
 of manners ; cultivate and improve your 
 own to the utmost ; good sense will 
 suggest the great rules to you, good 
 company will do the rest. [May 27, 
 1748.] 
 
 How to Be Considerable. — Upon 
 the whole, if you have a mind to be 
 considerable, and to shine hereafter, 
 you must labour hard now. No quick- 
 ness of parts, no vivacity, will do long, 
 or go far, without a solid fund of 
 knowledge : and that fund of knowl- 
 edge will amply repay all the pains that 
 you can take in acquiring it. Reflect 
 62 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 seriously, within yourself, upon all this, 
 and ask yourself, whether I can have 
 any view, but your interest, in all that 
 I recommend to you. \Same date.\ 
 Enunciation — Eloquence. — Your 
 figure is a good one \ you have no 
 natural defect in the organs of speech ; 
 your address may be engaging, and your 
 manner of speaking graceful, if you 
 will ; so that, if they are not so, neither 
 I nor the world, can ascribe it to any- 
 thing but your want of parts. What 
 is the constant and just observation as 
 to all actors upon the stage ? Is it not, 
 that those who have the best sense al- 
 ways speak the best, though they may 
 happen not to have the best voices ? 
 They will speak plainly, distinctly, and 
 with the proper emphasis, be their voices 
 ever so bad. Had Roscius spoken quick , 
 
 63 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 thick , and ungracefully , I will answer for 
 it, that Cicero would not have thought 
 him worth the oration which he made 
 in his favour. Words were given us to 
 communicate our ideas by ; and there 
 must be something inconceivably absurd 
 in uttering them in such a manner as 
 that either people cannot understand 
 them, or will not desire to understand 
 them. I tell you truly and sincerely, 
 that I shall judge of your parts by 
 your speaking gracefully or ungracefully. 
 If you have parts, you will never be at 
 rest till you have brought yourself to 
 a habit of speaking most gracefully ; 
 for I aver. ; that it is in your power. 
 [June 21, 1748.] 
 
 Articulation. — You will take 
 care to open your teeth when you speak ; 
 to articulate every word distinctly ; and 
 64 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 to beg of Mr. Harte, Mr. Eliot, or 
 whomever you speak to, to remind and 
 stop you, if ever you fall into the rapid 
 and unintelligible mutter. You will 
 even read aloud to yourself, and tune 
 your utterance to your own ear \ and 
 read at first much slower than you need 
 to do, in order to correct yourself of 
 that shameful trick of speaking faster 
 than you ought. 
 
 Desert and Reward. — Deserve a 
 great deal, and you shall have a great 
 deal ; deserve a little, and you shall 
 have but little ; and be good for 
 nothing at all, and, I assure you, you 
 shall have nothing at all. 
 
 Solid knowledge, as I have often told 
 you, is the first and great foundation of 
 your future fortune and character ; for 
 I never mention to you the two much 
 65 
 
Selections 
 
 greater points of religion and morality, 
 because I cannot possibly suspect you 
 as to either of them. \July i, 1748.] 
 No One Contemptible. — Be con- 
 vinced that there are no persons so in- 
 significant and inconsiderable, but may, 
 some time or other, and in some thing 
 or other, have it in their power to be of 
 use to you; which, they certainly will 
 not, if you have once shown them con- 
 tempt. \Same date.\ 
 
 The Folly of Contempt. — 
 Wrongs are often forgiven, but con- 
 tempt never is. Our pride remembers 
 it for ever. It implies a discovery 
 of weaknesses, which we are much 
 more careful to conceal than crimes. 
 Many a man will confess his crimes to 
 a common friend, but I never knew a 
 man who would tell his silly weaknesses 
 66 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 to his most intimate one* As many 
 a friend will tell us our faults without 
 reserve, who will not so much as hint 
 at our follies : that discovery is too 
 mortifying to our self-love, either to tell 
 another, or to be told, of one’s self. 
 You must, therefore, never expect to 
 hear of your weaknesses or follies, from 
 anybody but me ; those I will take pains 
 to discover, and, whenever I do, shall 
 tell you of them. \July i, 1748.] 
 Lazy Minds. — There are two sorts 
 of understandings ; one of which hin- 
 ders a man from ever being consider- 
 able, and the other commonly makes 
 him ridiculous ; I mean the lazy mind, 
 and the trifling, frivolous mind. Yours, 
 I hope, is neither. The lazy mind will 
 not take the trouble of going to the 
 bottom of anything ; but, discouraged 
 67 
 
tH Selections 
 
 by the first difficulties (and everything 
 worth knowing or having is attended 
 with some), stops short, contents itself 
 with easy, and, consequently, superfi- 
 cial knowledge, and prefers a great 
 degree of ignorance to a small degree 
 of trouble. These people either think, 
 or represent, most things as impossible ; 
 whereas few things are so, to industry 
 and activity. [ July 26, 1748.] 
 
 Conversation. — When you are in 
 company, bring the conversation to 
 some useful subject, but a portee of that 
 company. Points of history, matters 
 of literature, the customs of particular 
 countries, the several orders of knight- 
 hood, a<> Teutonic, Maltese, etc., are 
 surely better subjects of conversation 
 than the weather, dress, or fiddle-faddle 
 stories, that carry no information along 
 68 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 with them. The characters of kings, 
 and great men, are only to be learned in 
 conversation ; for they are never fairly 
 written during their lives. \_Same date^\ 
 
 Always Ask. — Never be ashamed 
 nor afraid of asking questions ; for if 
 they lead to information, and if you ac- 
 company them with some excuse, you 
 will never be reckoned an impertinent 
 or rude questioner. All those things, 
 in the common course of life, depend 
 entirely upon the manner ; and in that 
 respect the vulgar saying is true, u that 
 one man may better steal a horse, than 
 another look over the hedge.” \Same 
 date .] 
 
 Diet. — Duval tells me that you are 
 pretty fat for one of your age ; this you 
 should attend to in a proper way; for 
 if, while very young, you should grow 
 69 
 
?H Selections 
 
 fat, it would be troublesome, unwhole- 
 some, and ungraceful ; you should there- 
 fore, when you have time, take very 
 strong exercise, and in your diet avoid 
 fattening things. All malt liquors fat- 
 ten, or at least bloat ; and I hope you 
 do not deal much in them. \Aug. 2, 
 1748.] 
 
 Buying Books. — Mr. Harte wrote 
 me word some time ago, and Mr. Eliot 
 confirms it now, that you employ your 
 pin-money in a very different manner 
 from that in which pin-money 1 is com- 
 monly lavished. Not in gewgaws and 
 baubles, but in buying good and useful 
 books. This is an excellent symptom, 
 and gives me very good hopes. Go on 
 thus, my dear boy, but for these two 
 
 1 A somewhat curious use of the phrase, but 
 well explained by Johnson. 
 
 70 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 next years, and I ask no more. You 
 must then make such a figure, and such 
 a fortune in the world, as I wish you, 
 and as I have taken all these pains to 
 enable you to do. After that time, I 
 allow you to be as idle as ever you 
 please ; because I am sure that you will 
 not then please to be so at all. The 
 ignorant and the weak only are idle ; 
 but those who have once acquired a 
 good stock of knowledge, always desire 
 to increase it. Knowledge is like 
 power, in this respect, that those who 
 have the most are most desirous of 
 having more. It does not clog, by 
 possession, but increases desires ; which 
 is the case of very few pleasures. 
 [Jug. 23, 1848.] 
 
 Historical Faith. — Take nothing 
 for granted, upon the bare authority of 
 
 71 
 
Selections 
 
 the author ; but weigh and consider, in 
 your own mind, the probability of the 
 facts, and the justness of the reflections. 
 Consult different authors upon the same 
 facts, and form your opinion upon the 
 greater or lesser degree of probability 
 arising from the whole, which, in my 
 mind, is the utmost stretch of historical 
 faith, certainty (I fear) not being to be 
 found. \Aug . 30, 1748.] 
 
 Letters. — Your letters, except 
 when upon a given subject, are exceed- 
 ingly laconic, and neither answer my 
 desires, nor the purpose of letters, 
 which should be familiar conversations 
 between absent friends. As I desire 
 to live with you upon the footing of 
 an intimate friend, and not of a parent, 
 I could wish that your letters gave me 
 more particular accounts of yourself 
 
 72 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 and of your lesser transactions. When 
 you write to me, suppose yourself 
 conversing freely with me, by the fire- 
 side. In that case, you would naturally 
 mention the incidents of the day ; as 
 where you had been, whom you had 
 seen, what you thought of them, etc. 
 Do this in your letters ; acquaint me 
 sometimes with your studies, sometimes 
 with your diversions ; tell me of any 
 new persons and characters that you 
 meet with in company, and add your 
 own observations upon them : in short, 
 let me see more of you, in your letters. 
 [ Sept - 2 7, 1748.] 
 
 Good Company. — To keep good 
 company, especially at your first setting 
 out, is the way to receive good impres- 
 sions. If you ask me what I mean 
 by good company, I will confess to 
 73 
 
Selections 
 
 you that it is pretty difficult to define ; 
 but I will endeavour to make you 
 understand it as well as I can. 
 
 Good company is not what respect- 
 ive sets of company are pleased either 
 to call or think themselves ; but it is 
 that company which all the people 
 of the place call, and acknowledge 
 to be good company, notwithstanding 
 some objections which they may form 
 to some of the individuals who compose 
 it. It consists chiefly (but by no 
 means without exception) of people 
 of considerable birth, rank, and charac- 
 ter : for people of neither birth nor 
 rank are frequently and very justly 
 admitted into it, if distinguished by 
 any peculiar merit, or eminency in 
 any liberal art or science. Nay, so 
 motley a thing is good company, that 
 74 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 many people, without birth, rank, or 
 merit, intrude into it by their own 
 forwardness, and others slide into it 
 by the protection of some consider- 
 able person \ and some even of indiffer- 
 ent characters and morals make part 
 of it. But, in the main, the good 
 part preponderates, and people of 
 infamous and blasted characters are 
 never admitted. In this fashionable 
 good company the best manners and 
 the best language of the place are 
 most unquestionably to be learnt ; for 
 they establish, and give the tone to 
 both, which are therefore called the 
 language and manners of good com- 
 pany ; there being no legal tribunal 
 to ascertain either. 
 
 A company consisting wholly of 
 people of the first quality cannot, for 
 75 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 that reason, be called good company, 
 in the common acceptation of the 
 phrase, unless they are, into the bargain, 
 the fashionable and accredited company 
 of the place ; for people of the very 
 first quality can be as silly, as ill-bred, 
 and as worthless, as people of the mean- 
 est degree. On the other hand, a 
 company consisting entirely of people 
 of very low condition, whatever their 
 merit or parts may be, can never be 
 called good company ; and consequently 
 should not be much frequented, though 
 by no means despised. 
 
 A company wholly composed of 
 men of learning, though greatly to 
 be valued and respected, is not meant 
 by the words good company : they cannot 
 have the easy manners and tournure 
 of the world, as they do not live in it. 
 
 76 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 If you can bear your part well in 
 such a company, it is extremely right 
 to be in it sometimes, and you will be 
 but more esteemed, in other companies, 
 for having a place in that. But then 
 do not let it engross you : for if you 
 do, you will be only considered as one 
 of the litterati by profession ; which 
 is not the way either to shine or rise 
 in the world. 
 
 The company of professed wits and 
 poets is extremely inviting to most 
 young men, who, if they have wit 
 themselves, are pleased with it, and 
 if they have none, are sillily proud of 
 being one of it ; but it should be fre- 
 quented with moderation and judgment, 
 and you should by no means give yourself 
 up to it. A wit is a very unpopular 
 denomination, as it carries terror along 
 77 
 
Selections 
 
 with it ; and people in general are as 
 much afraid of a live wit, in company, 
 as a woman is of a gun, which she 
 thinks may go off of itself, and do 
 her a mischief. Their acquaintance 
 is, however, worth seeking, and their 
 company worth frequenting ; but not 
 exclusively of others, nor to such a 
 degree as to be considered only as 
 one of that particular set. 
 
 But the company which of all others 
 you should most carefully avoid is 
 that low company which, in every 
 sense of the word, is low indeed ; 
 low in rank, low in parts, low in 
 manners, and low in merit. [Oct . 12, 
 1748.] 
 
 Associates. — There is good sense 
 in the Spanish saying, “ Tell me whom 
 you live with, and I will tell you 
 78 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 who you are.” Make it, therefore, 
 your business, wherever you are, to 
 get into that company which every- 
 body of the place allows to be the 
 best company, next to their own : 
 which is the best definition that I can 
 give you of good company. But here, 
 too, one caution is very necessary ; 
 for want of which many young men 
 have been ruined, even in good com- 
 pany. Good company (as I have 
 before observed) is composed of a great 
 variety of fashionable people, whose 
 characters and morals are very different, 
 though their manners are pretty much 
 the same. When a young man, now 
 in the world, first gets into that com- 
 pany, he very rightly determines to 
 conform to and imitate it. But then 
 he too often, and fatally, mistakes 
 79 
 

 Selections 
 
 the object of his imitation. He has 
 often heard that absurd term of genteel 
 and fashionable vices. [ Same date.~\ 
 Behaviour. — Imitate, then, with 
 discernment and judgment, the real 
 perfections of the good company into 
 which you may get ; copy their polite- 
 ness, their carriage, their address, and 
 the easy and well-bred turn of their 
 conversation ; but remember, that, let 
 them shine ever so bright, their vices, 
 if they have any, are so many spots, 
 which you would no more imitate 
 than you would make an artificial wart 
 upon your face, because some very 
 handsome man had the misfortune to 
 have a natural one upon his : but, 
 on the contrary, think how much hand- 
 somer he would have been without it. 
 \Same date.~\ 
 
 So 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hf 
 
 Talking. — Talk often, but never 
 long ; in that case, if you do not 
 please, at least you are sure not to 
 tire your hearers. Pay your own 
 reckoning, but do not treat the whole 
 company ; this being one of the very 
 few cases in which people do not 
 care to be treated, every one being 
 fully convinced that he has where- 
 withal to pay. 
 
 Tell stories very seldom, and abso- 
 lutely never but where they are very 
 apt, and very short. Omit every cir- 
 cumstance that is not material, and 
 beware of digressions. To have fre- 
 quent recourse to narrative betrays 
 great want of imagination. 
 
 Never hold anybody by the button, 
 or the hand, in order to be heard out ; 
 for, if people are not willing to hear 
 81 
 
Selections 
 
 you, you had much better hold your 
 tongue than them. 
 
 Most long talkers single out some 
 one unfortunate man in company (com- 
 monly him whom they observe to be 
 the most silent, or their next neigh- 
 bour) to whisper, or at least, in a half 
 voice, to convey a continuity of words 
 to. This is excessively ill-bred, and, 
 in some degree, a fraud, conversa- 
 tion stock being a joint and common 
 property. But, on the other hand, 
 if one of these unmerciful talkers 
 lays hold of you, hear him with 
 patience (and at least seeming atten- 
 tion), if he is worth obliging ; for 
 nothing will oblige him more than a 
 patient hearing, as nothing would 
 hurt him more than either to leave 
 him in the midst of his discourse, or 
 82 
 
Lord Chesterfield's Letters Hr 
 
 to discover your impatience under 
 your affliction. 
 
 Take rather than give, the tone of 
 the company you are in. If you have 
 parts, you will show them, more or 
 less, upon every subject ; and if you 
 have not, you had better talk sillily 
 upon a subject of other people’s than 
 of your own choosing. 
 
 Avoid as much as you can, in mixed 
 companies, argumentative, polemical 
 conversations ; which, though they 
 should not, yet certainly do, indispose, 
 for a time, the contending parties 
 toward each other : and, if the contro- 
 versy grows warm and noisy, endeavour 
 to put an end to it by some genteel 
 levity or joke. I quieted such a con- 
 versation hubbub once, by representing 
 to them that, though I was persuaded 
 
 83 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 none there present would repeat, out 
 of company, what passed in it, yet I 
 could not answer for the discretion of 
 the passengers in the street, who must 
 necessarily hear all that was said. 
 
 Above all things, and upon all occa- 
 sions, avoid speaking of yourself, if 
 it be possible. Such is the natural 
 pride and vanity of our hearts, that it 
 perpetually breaks out, even in people 
 of the best parts, in all the various 
 modes and figures of the egotism. 
 [Oct. 19, 1748.] 
 
 Yourself. — The only sure way of 
 avoiding these evils is, never to speak 
 of yourself at all. But when, historic- 
 ally, you are obliged to mention your- 
 self, take care not to drop one single 
 word that can directly or indirectly be 
 construed as fishing for applause. Be 
 ^84 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 your character what it will, it will be 
 known ; and nobody will take it upon 
 your own word. Never imagine that 
 anything you can say yourself will var- 
 nish your defects, or add lustre to your 
 perfections ; but, on the contrary, it 
 may, and nine times in ten will, make 
 the former more glaring, and the latter 
 obscure. If you are silent upon your 
 own subject, neither envy, indignation, 
 nor ridicule, will obstruct or allay the 
 applause which you may really deserve ; 
 but if you publish your own panegyric, 
 upon any occasion, or in any shape what- 
 soever, and however artfully dressed or 
 disguised, they will all conspire against 
 you, and you will be disappointed of 
 the very end you aim at. [ Same datei\ 
 Scandal — Mimicry — Swearing 
 — Laughter. — Neither retail nor re- 
 
 85 
 
Selections 
 
 ceive scandal, willingly ; for though the 
 defamation of others may, for the pres- 
 ent, gratify the malignity of the pride 
 of our hearts, cool reflection will draw 
 very disadvantageous conclusions from 
 such a disposition ; and in the case of 
 scandal, as in that of robbery, the re- 
 ceiver is always thought as bad as the 
 thief. 
 
 Mimicry, which is the common and 
 favourite amusement of little, low 
 minds, is in the utmost contempt with 
 great ones. It is the lowest and 
 most illiberal of all buffoonery. Pray, 
 neither practise it yourself, nor applaud 
 it in others. Besides that, the person 
 mimicked is insulted; and, as I have 
 often observed to you before, an insult 
 is never forgiven. 
 
 I need not (I believe) advise you to 
 86 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 adapt your conversation to the people 
 you are conversing with : for I suppose 
 you would not, without this caution, 
 have talked upon the same subject, and 
 in the same manner, to a minister of 
 state, a bishop, a philosopher, a captain, 
 and a woman. A man of the world 
 must, like the chameleon (r/V), be able to 
 take every different hue ; which is by 
 no means a criminal or abject, but a 
 necessary complaisance, for it relates 
 only to manners, and not to morals. 
 
 One word only, as to swearing ; and 
 that, I hope and believe, is more than 
 is necessary. You may sometimes hear 
 some people, in good company, inter- 
 lard their discourse with oaths, by way 
 of embellishment, as they think ; but 
 you must observe, too, that those who 
 do so are never those who contribute, 
 87 
 
tH Selections 
 
 in any degree, to give that company the 
 denomination of good company. They 
 are always subalterns, or people of low 
 education ; for that practice, besides that 
 it has no one temptation to plead, is as 
 silly, and as illiberal, as it is wicked. 
 
 Loud laughter is the mirth of the 
 mob ; who are only pleased with silly 
 things ; for true wit or good sense never 
 excited a laugh, since the creation of 
 the world. A man of parts and fashion 
 is therefore only seen to smile, but 
 never heard to laugh. 
 
 But, to conclude this long letter; all 
 the above-mentioned rules, however 
 carefully you may observe them, will 
 lose half their effect, if unaccompanied 
 by the Graces. Whatever you say, if 
 you say it with a supercilious, cynical 
 face, or an embarrassed countenance, 
 88 
 
Lord Chesterfield's Letters 
 
 or a silly, disconcerted grin, will be ill 
 received. If, into the bargain, you 
 mutter it , or utter it indistinctly , and 
 ungracefully , it will be still worse 
 received. If your air and address are 
 vulgar, awkward, and gauche , you may 
 be esteemed, indeed, if you have great 
 intrinsic merit; but you will never 
 please : and, without pleasing, you will 
 rise but heavily. Venus, among the 
 ancients, was synonymous with the 
 Graces, who were always supposed to 
 accompany her : and Horace tells us 
 that even Youth and Mercury, the god 
 of arts and eloquence, would not do 
 without her. 
 
 “ . . . Parian comis sine te Juventas , 
 Mercuriusque. ” 
 
 They are not inexorable ladies, 
 and may be had, if properly and dili- 
 89 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 gently pursued. Adieu. [Oct. 19, 
 1748.] 
 
 Frivolity. — Little minds mistake 
 little objects for great ones, and lavish 
 away upon the former that time and 
 attention which only the latter deserve. 
 To such mistakes we owe the numerous 
 and frivolous tribe of insect-mongers, 
 shell-mongers, and pursuers and driers 
 of butterflies, etc. The strong mind 
 distinguishes not only between the 
 useful and the useless, but, likewise, 
 between the useful and the curious. 
 He applies himself intensely to the for- 
 mer ; he only amuses himself with the 
 latter. Of this little sort of knowledge, 
 which I have just hinted at, you will 
 find, at least, as much as you need wish 
 to know, in a superficial but pretty 
 French book, entitled, u Spectacle de la 
 
 90 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 Nature ; ” which will amuse you while 
 you read it, and give you a sufficient 
 notion of the various parts of nature ; 
 I would advise you to read it, at leisure 
 hours. [. Dec . 6, 1748.] 
 
 Improvement of Time. — The 
 whole morning, if diligently and atten- 
 tively devoted to solid studies, will go 
 a great way at the year’s end; and the 
 evenings spent in the pleasures of good 
 company will go as far in teaching you 
 a knowledge not much less necessary 
 than the other — I mean the knowledge 
 of the world. Between these two 
 necessary studies, that of books in the 
 morning, and that of the world in 
 the evening, you see that you will 
 not have one minute to squander 
 or slattern away. Nobody ever lent 
 themselves more than I did, when I 
 
 91 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 6 - 
 
 was young, to the pleasures and dissi- 
 pation of good company ; I even did it 
 too much. But then, I can assure you 
 that I always found time for serious 
 studies ; and, when I could find it no 
 other way, I took it out of my sleep, 
 for I resolved always to rise early in 
 the morning, however late I went to 
 bed at night; and this resolution I 
 have kept so sacred, that, unless when 
 I have been confined to my bed by ill- 
 ness, I have not for more than forty 
 years, ever been in bed at nine o’clock 
 in the morning, but commonly up 
 before eight. \Dec. 13, 1748.] 
 
 Affectation. — Any affectation 
 whatsoever in dress implies, in my 
 mind, a flaw in the understanding. 
 Most of our young fellows, here, dis- 
 play some character or other by their 
 9 2 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters ## 
 
 dress ; some affect the tremendous, and 
 wear a great and fiercely cocked hat, 
 an enormous sword, a short waistcoat, 
 and a black cravat : these I should be 
 almost tempted to swear the peace 
 against, in my own defence, if I were 
 not convinced that they are but meek 
 asses in lions’ skins. Others go in 
 brown frocks, leather breeches, great 
 oaken cudgels in their hands, their hats 
 uncocked, and their hair unpowdered ; 
 and imitate grooms, stage-coachmen, 
 and country bumpkins so well in their 
 outsides, that I do not make the least 
 doubt of their resembling them equally 
 in their insides. A man of sense care- 
 fully avoids any particular character in 
 his dress ; he is accurately clean for his 
 own sake; but all the rest is for other 
 people’s. He dresses as well, and in 
 93 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 the same manner, as the people of sense 
 and fashion of the place where he is. 
 If he dresses better, as he thinks, that 
 is, more than they, he is a fop ; if he 
 dresses worse, he is unpardonably negli- 
 gent : but, of the two, I would rather 
 have a young fellow too much than too 
 little dressed ; the excess on that side 
 will wear off, with a little age and 
 reflection ; but if he is negligent at 
 twenty, he will be a sloven at forty, 
 and stink at fifty years old. Dress 
 yourself fine, where others are fine ; 
 and plain, where others are plain ; but 
 take care, always, that your clothes are 
 well made and fit you, for otherwise 
 they will give you a very awkward air. 
 When you are once well dressed, for 
 the day, think no more of it afterward ; 
 and, without any stiffness for fear of 
 94 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 discomposing that dress, let all your 
 motions be as easy and natural as if 
 you had no clothes on at all. So much 
 for dress, which I maintain to be a 
 thing of consequence in the polite 
 world. \_Dec. 30, 1748.] 
 
 A Gentleman’s Pleasures. — Dear 
 Boy : — This letter will, I believe, still 
 find you at Venice, in all the dissipation 
 of masquerades, ridottos, operas, etc. : 
 with all my heart they are decent 
 evening amusements, and very properly 
 succeed that serious application to 
 which I am sure you devote your morn- 
 ings. There are liberal and illiberal 
 pleasures, as well as liberal and illiberal 
 arts. There are some pleasures that 
 degrade a gentleman, as much as some 
 trades could do. Sottish drinking, in- 
 discriminate gluttony, driving coaches, 
 95 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 rustic sports, such as fox-chases, horse- 
 races, etc., are, in my opinion, infinitely 
 below the honest and industrious pro- 
 fessions of a tailor, and a shoemaker, 
 which are said to deroger . \April 19, 
 
 1 749*] 
 
 Music — Fiddling. — I cannot help 
 cautioning you against giving into those 
 (I will call them illiberal) pleasures 
 (though music is commonly reckoned 
 one of the liberal arts) to the degree 
 that most of your countrymen do, when 
 they travel in Italy. If you love music, 
 hear it ; go to operas, concerts, and pay 
 fiddlers to play to you ; but I insist 
 upon your neither piping nor fiddling 
 yourself. It puts a gentleman in a 
 very frivolous, contemptible light ; 
 brings him into a great deal of bad 
 company ; and takes up a great deal of 
 96 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 time, which might be much better em- 
 ployed. Few things would mortify me 
 more, than to see you bearing a part 
 in a concert, with a fiddle under your 
 chin, or a pipe in your mouth. \April 
 
 * 9 » 1 749 *] 
 
 Manieres. — By manures , I do not 
 mean bare common civility ; everybody 
 must have that, who would not be 
 kicked out of company : but I mean en- 
 gaging, insinuating, shining manners ; 
 a distinguished politeness, an almost 
 irresistible address ; a superior grace- 
 fulness in all you say and do. It is 
 this alone that can give all your other 
 talents their full lustre and value ; and, 
 consequently, it is this which should 
 now be the principal object of your 
 attention. Observe minutely, where- 
 ever you go, the allowed and estab- 
 97 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 lished morals of good breeding, and 
 form yourself upon them. Whatever 
 pleases you most, in others, will infal- 
 libly please others, in you. I have 
 often repeated this to you ; now is 
 your time of putting it in practice. 
 \Same date , ] 
 
 How to Please. — You must not 
 neglect your dress, neither, but take care 
 to be bien mis . Pray send for the best 
 operator for the teeth, at Turin, where 
 I suppose there is some famous one ; 
 and let him put yours in perfect order ; 
 and then take care to keep them so, 
 afterwards, yourself. You had very 
 good teeth, and I hope they are so still ; 
 but even those who have bad ones 
 should keep them clean ; for a dirty 
 mouth is, in my mind, ill manners. 
 In short, neglect nothing that can 
 98 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 possibly please. A thousand nameless 
 little things, which nobody can describe, 
 but which everybody feels, conspire to 
 form that whole of pleasing ; as the sev- 
 eral pieces of a mosaic work, though 
 separately of little beauty or value, 
 when properly joined form those beau- 
 tiful figures which please everybody. 
 A look, a gesture, an attitude, a tone of 
 voice, all bear their parts in the great 
 work of pleasing. The art of pleasing 
 is more particularly necessary in your 
 intended profession, than, perhaps, in 
 any other ; it is, in truth, the first half 
 of your business ; for if you do not 
 please the court you are sent to, you 
 will be of very little use to the court 
 you are sent from. Please the eyes 
 and the ears, they will introduce you 
 to the heart \ and, nine times in ten, 
 99 
 
^ Selections 
 
 the heart governs the understanding. 
 \May 15, 1749.] 
 
 Flattery. — I recommended to 
 you, in my last, an innocent piece of 
 art ; that of flattering people behind 
 their backs, in presence of those who, 
 to make their own court, much more 
 than for your sake, will not fail to 
 repeat, and even amplify the praise to 
 the party concerned. This is, of all 
 flattery, the most pleasing, and conse- 
 quently the most effectual. There are 
 other, and many other inoffensive arts 
 of this kind, which are necessary in the 
 course of the world, and which he who 
 practises the earliest, will please the 
 most, and rise the soonest. [May 22, 
 
 1749-] 
 
 Temper. — The principal of these 
 things, is the mastery of one’s tem- 
 
 100 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 per, and that coolness of mind, and 
 serenity of countenance, which hinders 
 us from discovering, by words, actions, 
 or even looks, those passions or sen- 
 timents, by which we are inwardly 
 moved or agitated ; and the discovery 
 of which gives cooler and abler people 
 such infinite advantages over us, not 
 only in great business, but in all the 
 most common occurrences of life. A 
 man who does not possess himself 
 enough to hear disagreeable things, 
 without visible marks of anger and 
 change of countenance, or agreeable 
 ones without sudden bursts of joy and 
 expansion of countenance, is at the 
 mercy of every artful knave, or pert 
 coxcomb : the former will provoke or 
 please you by design, to catch unguarded 
 words or looks ; by which he will easily 
 
 IOI 
 
Selections 
 
 decipher the secrets of your heart, of 
 which you should keep the key your- 
 self, and trust it with no man living. 
 \May 22, 1749.] 
 
 Dissimulation. — It may be ob- 
 jected, that I am now recommending 
 dissimulation to you ; I both own and 
 justify it. It has been long said, §>ui 
 nescit dissimulare nescit regnare : I go 
 still farther, and say that without some 
 dissimulation no business can be carried 
 on at all. It is simulation that is false, 
 mean, and criminal : that is the cun- 
 ning which Lord Bacon calls crooked 
 or left-handed wisdom, and which is 
 never made use of but by those who 
 have not true wisdom. And the same 
 great man says that dissimulation is 
 only to hide our own cards ; whereas 
 simulation is put on in order to look 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 into other people’s. Lord Boling- 
 broke, in his “ Idea of a Patriot King,” 
 which he has lately published, and 
 which I will send you by the first 
 opportunity, says, very justly, that 
 simulation is a stiletto ; not only an 
 unjust but an unlawful weapon, and the 
 use of it very rarely to be excused, 
 never justified. Whereas dissimulation 
 is a shield, as secrecy is armour; and 
 it is no more possible to preserve 
 secrecy in business, without some 
 degree of dissimulation, than it is to 
 succeed in business without secrecy. 
 [ Same date.~\ 
 
 The Easy Moment. — Some people 
 are to be reasoned, some flattered, some 
 intimidated, and some teased into a 
 thing ; but, in general, all are to be 
 brought . into it at last, if skilfully 
 103 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 applied to, properly managed, and inde- 
 fatigably attacked in their several weak 
 places. The time should likewise be 
 judiciously chosen : every man has his 
 mollia tempora , but that is far from 
 being all day long ; and you would 
 choose your time very ill, if you applied 
 to a man about one business, when his 
 head was full of another, or when his 
 heart was full of grief, anger, or any 
 other disagreeable sentiment. [May 
 22, 1749.] 
 
 Judge of Others by Yourself. — 
 In order to judge of the inside of 
 others, study your own ; for men in 
 general are very much alike ; and 
 though one has one prevailing passion, 
 and another has another, yet their 
 operations are much the same ; and 
 whatever engages or disgusts, pleases, 
 104 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 or offends you in others will, mutatis 
 mutandis , engage, disgust, please, or 
 offend others, in you. \Same date.^\ 
 Sculpture and Painting. — You 
 will examine, likewise, whether, in 
 their groups, there be a unity of action, 
 or proper relation ; a truth of dress and 
 manners. Sculpture and painting are 
 very justly called liberal arts ; a lively 
 and strong imagination, together with 
 a just observation, being absolutely 
 necessary to excel in either : which, in 
 my opinion, is by no means the case of 
 music, though called a liberal art, and 
 now in Italy placed even above the 
 other two : a proof of the decline of 
 that country. A taste of sculpture and 
 painting is, in my mind, as becoming 
 as a taste of fiddling and piping is 
 unbecoming a man of fashion. The 
 io 5 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 former is connected with history and 
 poetry ; the latter, with nothing, that 
 I know of, but bad company. \^fune 
 22, 1749.] 
 
 Trifles. — Great merit, or great 
 failings, will make you respected or 
 despised ; but trifles, little attentions, 
 mere nothings, either done, or neg- 
 lected, will make you either liked or 
 disliked, in the general run of the 
 world. Examine yourself, why you 
 like such and such people, and dislike 
 such and such others ; and you will 
 find that those different sentiments pro- 
 ceed from very slight causes. Moral 
 virtues are the foundation of society in 
 general, and of friendship in particular; 
 but attentions, manners, and graces 
 both adorn and strengthen them. \July 
 20, 1749.] 
 
 106 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters ^ 
 
 Earn Your Pleasures. — No man 
 tastes pleasures truly, who does not 
 earn them by previous business ; and 
 few people do business well, who do 
 nothing else. Remember, that when 
 I speak of pleasures, I always mean 
 the elegant pleasures of a rational 
 being, and not the brutal ones of a 
 swine. I mean la bonne chere , short 
 of gluttony ; wine, infinitely short of 
 drunkenness ; play, without the least 
 gaming ; and gallantry, without de- 
 bauchery. There is a line in all these 
 things which men of sense, for greater 
 security, take care to keep a good deal 
 on the right side of : for sickness, pain, 
 contempt, and infamy lie immediately 
 on the other side of it. Men of sense 
 and merit in all other respects, may 
 have had some of these failings ; but 
 
 107 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 then those few examples, instead of 
 inviting us to imitation, should only 
 put us the more upon our guard against 
 such weaknesses. Whoever thinks 
 them fashionable will not be so him- 
 self. I have often known a fashionable 
 man have some one vice, but I never, 
 in my life, knew a vicious man a 
 fashionable man. Vice is as degrading 
 as it is criminal. God bless you, my 
 dear child! \_^ug. 7, 1749.] 
 
 Dignity of Manners. — There is a 
 certain dignity of manners absolutely 
 necessary, to make even the most 
 valuable character either respected or 
 respectable. 
 
 Horse-play, romping, frequent and 
 loud fits of laughter, jokes, waggery, 
 and indiscriminate familiarity, will sink 
 both merit and knowledge into a degree 
 
 108 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters He 
 
 of contempt. They compose at most 
 a merry fellow ; and a merry fellow 
 was never yet a respectable man. 
 Indiscriminate familiarity either offends 
 your superiors, or else dubs you their 
 dependant, and led captain. It gives 
 your inferiors just but troublesome and 
 improper claims of equality. A joker 
 is near akin to a buffoon ; and neither 
 of them is the least related to wit. 
 Whoever is admitted or sought for, 
 in company, upon any other account 
 than that of his merit and manners, is 
 never respected there, but only made 
 use of. We will have such-a-one, for 
 he sings prettily ; we will invite such- 
 a-one to a ball, for he dances well ; we 
 will have such -a-one to supper, for he is 
 always joking and laughing ; we will ask 
 another, because he plays deep at all 
 109 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 games, or because he can drink a great 
 deal. These are vilifying distinctions, 
 mortifying preferences, and exclude all 
 ideas of esteem and regard. Whoever 
 is had (as it is called) in company, 
 for the sake of any one thing singly ^ 
 is singly that thing, and will never 
 be considered in any other light ; 
 consequently never respected, let his 
 merits be what they will. \giug. io, 
 1 749 *] 
 
 Distraction and Inattention. — 
 I know no one thing more offensive 
 to a company than inattention and 
 distraction . It is showing them the 
 utmost contempt ; and people never 
 forgive contempt. No man is dis- 
 trait with the man he fears, or the 
 woman he loves ; which is a proof 
 that every man can get the better of 
 
 no 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 that distraction , when he thinks it worth 
 his while to do so ; and, take my word 
 for it, it is always worth his while. 
 For my own part, I would rather be 
 in company with a dead man, than 
 with an absent one ; for if the dead 
 man gives me no pleasure, at least 
 he shows me no contempt ; whereas 
 the absent man, silently indeed, but 
 very plainly, tells me that he does not 
 think me worth his attention. 
 
 Bend to Ceremony. — A propos of 
 the Pope ; remember to be presented 
 to him before you leave Rome, and 
 go through the necessary ceremonies 
 for it, whether of kissing his slipper 
 or his breech ; for I would never 
 deprive myself of anything that I 
 wanted to do or see, by refusing to 
 comply with an established custom. 
 hi 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 When I was in Catholic countries, 
 I never declined kneeling in their 
 churches at the elevation, nor elsewhere, 
 when the host went by. It is a com- 
 plaisance due to the custom of the 
 place, and by no means, as some silly 
 people have imagined, an implied 
 approbation of their doctrine. Bodily 
 attitudes and situations are things so 
 very indifferent in themselves, that I 
 would quarrel with nobody about them. 
 [Sept. 22, 1749.] 
 
 The Vulgar Man. — Trifles. — 
 Vulgarism. — A vulgar man is cap- 
 tious and jealous ; eager and impetuous 
 about trifles. He suspects himself to 
 be slighted, thinks everything that is 
 said meant at him ; if the company 
 happens to laugh, he is persuaded they 
 laugh at him : he grows angry and 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 testy, says something very impertinent, 
 and draws himself into a scrape, by 
 showing what he calls a proper spirit, 
 and asserting himself. A man of fash- 
 ion does not suppose himself to be 
 either the sole or principal object of 
 the thoughts, looks, or words of the 
 company ; and never suspects that he 
 is either slighted or laughed at, unless 
 he is conscious that he deserves it. 
 And if (which very seldom happens) 
 the company is absurd or ill-bred enough 
 to do either, he does not care twopence, 
 unless the insult be so gross and plain 
 as to require satisfaction of another 
 kind. As he is above trifles, he is 
 never vehement and eager about them ; 
 and, wherever they are concerned, 
 rather acquiesces than wrangles. A 
 vulgar man’s conversation always sa- 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 vours strongly of the lowness of his 
 education and company. It turns chiefly 
 upon his domestic affairs, his servants, 
 the excellent order he keeps in his own 
 family, and the little anecdotes of the 
 neighbourhood ; all which he relates 
 with emphasis, as interesting matters. 
 He is a man gossip. 
 
 Vulgarism in language is the next, 
 and distinguishing characteristic of 
 bad company, and a bad education. 
 A man of fashion avoids nothing with 
 more care than tha". Proverbial expres- 
 sions, and trite sayings are the flowers 
 of the rhetoric of a vulgar man. 
 Would he say, that men differ in their 
 tastes, he both supports and adorns that 
 opinion, by the good old saying, as 
 he respectfully calls it, that what is 
 one man's meat is another man's poison. 
 
Lord Chesterfield's Letters 
 
 If anybody attempts being smart , as 
 he calls it, upon him, he gives them 
 tit for tat , ay, that he does. He has 
 always some favourite word for the 
 time being, which, for the sake of 
 using often, he commonly abuses. 
 Such as vastly angry, vastly kind, vastly 
 handsome, and vastly ugly. Even his 
 pronunciation of proper words carries 
 the mark of the beast along with it. 
 He calls the earth y earth ; he is obleigedj 
 not obliged to you. He goes to ward , 
 and not toward such a place. He 
 sometimes affects hard words, by way 
 of ornament, which he always mangles 
 like a learned woman. A man of 
 
 1 As indeed did George III., teste the anec- 
 dote of Kemble : “Mr. Kemble, obleige me with 
 a pinch of snuff.” “ It would become your 
 Majesty’s royal mouth better to say oblige .” 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 fashion never has recourse to proverbs 
 and vulgar aphorisms ; uses neither 
 favourite words nor hard words ; but 
 takes great care to speak very correctly 
 and grammatically, and to pronounce 
 properly ; that is, according to the 
 usage of the best companies. \_Sept. 
 I 749 < ] 
 
 A Father’s Object. — Dear Boy : 
 — From the time that you have had life, 
 it has been the principal and favourite 
 object of mine to make you as perfect 
 as the imperfections of human nature 
 will allow : in this view I have grudged 
 no pains nor expense in your education ; 
 convinced that education, more than 
 nature, is the cause of that great differ- 
 ence which we see in the characters 
 of men. While you were a child, I 
 endeavoured to form your heart habit- 
 116 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 ually to virtue and honour, before 
 your understanding was capable of 
 showing you their beauty and utility. 
 Those principles, which you then got, 
 like your grammar rules, only by rote, 
 are now, I am persuaded, fixed and 
 confirmed by reason. And indeed they 
 are so plain and clear that they require 
 but a very moderate degree of under- 
 standing, either to comprehend or prac- 
 tise them. Lord Shaftesbury says, very 
 prettily, that he would be virtuous for 
 his own sake, though nobody were to 
 know it ; as he would be clean for his 
 own sake, though nobody were to see 
 him. I have, therefore, since you have 
 had the use of your reason, never 
 written to you upon those subjects : 
 they speak best for themselves ; and I 
 should, now, just as soon think of warn- 
 
Selections 
 
 ing you gravely not to fall into the dirt 
 or the fire, as into dishonour or vice. 
 [Nov. 3, 1749.] 
 
 Good Breeding. — A friend of 
 yours and mine has very justly defined 
 good breeding to be the result of much 
 good sense , some good nature , and a little 
 self-denial for the sake of others , and with 
 a view to obtain the same indulgence from 
 them. Taking this for granted (as I 
 think it cannot be disputed), it is aston- 
 ishing to me, that anybody, who has 
 good sense and good nature (and I 
 believe you have both), can essentially 
 fail in good breeding. As to the modes 
 of it, indeed, they vary according to 
 persons, places, and circumstances ; 
 and are only to be acquired by observa- 
 tion and experience ; but the substance 
 of it is everywhere and eternally the 
 118 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 same. Good manners are, to particu- 
 lar societies, what good morals are to 
 society in general ; their cement, and 
 their security. . . . Mutual complais- 
 ances, attentions, and sacrifices of little 
 conveniences, are as natural an implied 
 compact between civilised people, as 
 protection and obedience are between 
 kings and subjects : whoever, in either 
 case, violates that compact, justly for- 
 feits all advantages arising from it. 
 For my own part, I really think that, 
 next to the consciousness of doing a 
 good action, that of doing a civil one is 
 the most pleasing : and the epithet 
 which I should covet the most, next to 
 that of Aristides, would be that of well 
 bred. \Same date^\ 
 
 Books for Oratory. — You have 
 read Quintilian ; the best book in the 
 119 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 world to form an orator; pray read 
 Cicero , de Oratore ; the best book in the 
 world to finish one. Translate and 
 retranslate, from and to Latin, Greek, 
 and English ; make yourself a pure and 
 elegant English style : it requires noth- 
 ing but application. I do not find that 
 God has made you a poet; and I am 
 very glad that he has not ; therefore, 
 for God’s sake, make yourself an orator, 
 which you may do. Though I still 
 call you a boy, I consider you no 
 longer as such ; and when I reflect 
 upon the prodigious quantity of manure 
 that has been laid upon you, I expect 
 you should produce more at eighteen, 
 than uncultivated soils do at eight and 
 twenty. [Nov. 24, 1749.] 
 
 Nickname. — The little defects in 
 manners, elocution, address, and air (and 
 
 120 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 even of figure, though very unjustly), 
 are the objects of ridicule, and the causes 
 of nicknames. You cannot imagine the 
 grief it would give me, and the prejudice 
 it would do you, if, by way of distin- 
 guishing you from others of your name, 
 you should happen to be called Mut- 
 tering Stanhope, Absent Stanhope, 
 Ill-bred Stanhope, or Awkward, Left- 
 legged Stanhope : therefore, take great 
 care to put it out of the power of ridi- 
 cule itself to give you any of these 
 ridiculous epithets ; for, if you get one, 
 it will stick to you like the envenomed 
 shirt. The very first day that I see you, 
 I shall be able to tell you, and certainly 
 shall tell you, what degree of danger you 
 are in ; and I hope that my admonitions, 
 as censor, may prevent the censures of 
 the public. \_Nov. 26, 1749.] 
 
 121 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 T rue Elocution. — What, then, 
 does all this mighty art and mystery of 
 speaking in Parliament amount to ? 
 Why, no more than this, That the man 
 who speaks in the House of Commons, 
 speaks in that house, and to four hun- 
 dred people, that opinion, upon a given 
 subject, which he would make no dif- 
 ficulty of speaking in any house in 
 England, around the fire, or at table, to 
 any fourteen people whatsoever ; better 
 judges, perhaps, and severer critics of 
 what he says, than any fourteen gentle- 
 men of the House of Commons. 
 
 I have spoken frequently in Parlia- 
 ment, and not always without some 
 applause ; and therefore I can assure 
 you, from my experience, that there is 
 very little in it. The elegancy of the 
 style, and the turn of the periods, make 
 
 122 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 the chief impression upon the hearers. 
 Give them but one or two round and 
 harmonious periods in a speech, which 
 they will retain and repeat ; and they 
 will go home as well satisfied as people 
 do from an opera, humming all the 
 way one or two favourite tunes that 
 have struck their ears and were easily 
 caught. Most people have ears, but 
 few have judgment ; tickle those ears, 
 and, depend upon it, you will catch 
 their judgments, such as they are. 
 [Dec. 9, 1749.] 
 
 Poets and Orators. — A man, 
 who is not born with a poetical genius, 
 can never be a poet, or, at best, an ex- 
 treme bad one : but every man, who 
 can speak at all, can speak elegantly 
 and correctly, if he pleases, by attend- 
 ing to the best authors and orators ; 
 
 123 
 
Selections 
 
 and, indeed, I would advise those who 
 do not speak elegantly not to speak at 
 all ; for, I am sure, they will get more 
 by their silence than by their speech. 
 As for politeness ; whoever keeps good 
 company, and is not polite, must have 
 formed a resolution, and take some 
 pains not to be so ; otherwise he 
 would naturally and insensibly ac- 
 quire the air, the address, and the 
 turn of those he converses with. 
 
 \P ec . 26, 1749.] 
 
 Method of Study — The World 
 and Books. — Your first morning 
 hours I would have you devote to your 
 graver studies with Mr. Harte ; the 
 middle part of the day I would have 
 employed in seeing things ; and the 
 evenings in seeing people. You are 
 not, I hope, of a lazy, inactive turn, in 
 124 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 either body or mind ; and, in that case, 
 the day is full long enough for every- 
 thing ; especially at Rome, where it is 
 not the fashion as it is here, and at 
 Paris, to embezzle at least half of it 
 at table. But if, by accident, two or 
 three hours are sometimes wanting for 
 some useful purpose, borrow them 
 from your sleep. Six, or at most 
 seven hours’ sleep is, for a constancy, 
 as much as you or anybody can want : 
 more is only laziness and dozing ; and 
 is, I am persuaded, both unwholesome 
 and stupefying. If, by chance, your 
 business, or your pleasures, should keep 
 you up till four or five o’clock in the 
 morning, I would advise you, however, 
 to rise exactly at your usual time, that 
 you may not lose the precious morning 
 hours \ and that the want of sleep may 
 125 
 
W: Selections 
 
 force you to go to bed earlier the next 
 night. \_Same date.~\ 
 
 Moral Character. — Your moral 
 character must be not only pure, but, 
 like Caesar’s wife, unsuspected. The 
 least speck or blemish upon it is fatal. 
 Nothing degrades and vilifies more, 
 for it excites and unites detestation 
 and contempt. There are, however, 
 wretches in the world profligate 
 enough to explode all notions of moral 
 good and evil ; to maintain that they 
 are merely local, and depend entirely 
 upon the customs and fashions of 
 different countries : nay, there are 
 still, if possible, more unaccountable 
 wretches ; I mean, those who affect 
 to preach and propagate such absurd 
 and infamous notions, without believ- 
 ing them themselves. These are the 
 126 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters He 
 
 devil’s hypocrites. Avoid, as much as 
 possible, the company of such peo- 
 ple ; who reflect a degree of discredit 
 and infamy upon all who converse 
 with them. \Jan- 8, 1750.] 
 
 Value of Character. — Show 
 yourself, upon all occasions, the advo- 
 cate, the friend, but not the bully, of 
 virtue. Colonel Chartres, 1 whom you 
 
 1 A notorious, wretched debauchee, who has 
 been pilloried into a miserable and degraded 
 immortality by Arbuthnot, Pope, and Hogarth ; 
 the painter has given us his portrait in the 
 “ Harlot’s Progress,” plate 1 ; Pope has set him 
 up as an instance of that hardest trial to good 
 men, the success of the wicked : 
 
 “ Should some lone temple, nodding to its fall, 
 For Chartres’ head reserve the nodding wall.” 
 
 And Arbuthnot wrote the most tremendously 
 severe epitaph in the whole range of literature 
 on him while yet alive : “ Here continueth to 
 rot the body of Colonel Francis Chartres,” etc. 
 
 127 
 
Selections 
 
 have certainly heard of (who was, I 
 believe, the most notorious blasted 
 rascal in the world, and who had, by 
 all sorts of crimes, amassed immense 
 wealth), was so sensible of the disad- 
 vantage of a bad character, that I heard 
 him once say, in his impudent, profli- 
 gate manner, that though he would not 
 give one farthing for virtue, he would 
 give ten thousand pounds for a char- 
 acter ; because he should get a hundred 
 thousand pounds by it : whereas he was 
 so blasted that he had no longer an 
 opportunity of cheating people. Is it 
 
 Finally Chesterfield points him out to his son, 
 as the most notorious blasted rascal in the 
 world — blasted indeed as by lightning. It is 
 needless to say that this word is not used as a 
 vulgar oath, but to point out a man whose 
 name is, as the Bible of 1551 has it, “ marred 
 for ever by blastynge.” 
 
 128 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 possible, then, that an honest man can 
 neglect what a wise rogue would pur- 
 chase so dear ? [Same date.~\ 
 
 Necessary Accomplishments. — I 
 here subjoin a list of all those necessary, 
 ornamental accomplishments (without 
 which no man living can either please, 
 or rise in the world), which hitherto I 
 fear you want, and which only require 
 your care and attention to possess. 
 
 To speak elegantly, whatever lan- 
 guage you speak in ; without which 
 nobody will hear you with pleasure, 
 and, consequently, you will speak to 
 very little purpose. 
 
 An agreeable and distinct elocution ; 
 without which nobody will hear you 
 with patience ; this everybody may 
 acquire, who is not born with some 
 imperfection in the organs of speech. 
 
 129 
 
Selections 
 
 You are not ; and therefore it is wholly 
 in your power. You need take much 
 less pains for it than Demosthenes did. 
 
 A distinguished politeness of manners 
 and address ; which Common sense, 
 observation, good company, and imita- 
 tion, will infallibly give you, if you 
 will accept of it. 
 
 A genteel carriage, and graceful mo- 
 tions, with the air of a man of fashion. 
 A good dancing-master, with some 
 care on your part, and some imitation 
 of those who excel, will soon bring 
 this about. 
 
 To be extremely clean in your per- 
 son, and perfectly well dressed, accord- 
 ing to the fashion, be that what it will. 
 Your negligence of dress, while you 
 were a schoolboy, was pardonable, but 
 would not be so now. 
 
 130 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 Upon the whole, take it for granted, 
 that, without these accomplishments, 
 all you know, and all you can do, will 
 avail you very little. Adieu. \Jan. 
 18, I750-] 
 
 Bibliomania. — When you return 
 here, I am apt to think that you will 
 find something better to do than to 
 run to Mr. Osborne’s, at Gray’s-Inn, 
 to pick up scarce books. Buy good 
 books, and read them ; the best books 
 are the commonest, and the last editions 
 are always the best, if the editors are 
 not blockheads ; for they may profit 
 of the former. But take care not to 
 understand editions and title-pages too 
 well. It always smells of pedantry, 
 and not always of learning. What 
 curious books I have, they are indeed 
 but few, shall be at your service. I 
 I3 1 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 have some of the Old Collana, and the 
 Macchiavel of 1550. Beware of the 
 Bibliomanie . \March 19, 1750.] 
 Learned Ignorance. — A man of 
 the best parts, and the greatest learn- 
 ing, if he does not know the world by 
 his own experience and observation, 
 will be very absurd ; and consequently, 
 very unwelcome in company. He may 
 say very good things ; but they will 
 probably be so ill-timed, misplaced, or 
 improperly addressed, that he had much 
 better hold his tongue. Full of his 
 own matter, and uninformed of, or 
 inattentive to, the particular circum- 
 stances and situations of the company, 
 he vents it indiscriminately : he puts 
 some people out of countenance ; he 
 shocks others ; and frightens all, who 
 dread what may come out next. The 
 132 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 most general rule that I can give you 
 for the world, and which your experi- 
 ence will convince you of the truth of, 
 is, Never to give the tone to the com- 
 pany, but to take it from them ; and 
 to labour more to put them in conceit 
 with themselves, than to make them 
 admire you. Those whom you can 
 make like themselves better, will, I 
 promise you, like you very well. [Aug . 
 6, 1750.] 
 
 Knowledge of Literature. — A 
 gentleman should know those which I 
 call classical works, in every language ; 
 such as Boileau, Corneille, Racine, 
 Moliere, etc., in French ; Milton, Dry- 
 den, Pope, Swift, etc., in English ; and 
 the three authors above mentioned , 1 in 
 
 1 Ariosto, Tasso, and Boccaccio ; the Orlando, 
 Gierusalemme, and Decamerone. 
 
 133 
 
Selections 
 
 Italian : whether you have any such in 
 German I am not quite sure, nor, indeed, 
 am I inquisitive. These sort of books 
 adorn the mind, improve the fancy, are 
 frequently alluded to by, and are often 
 the subjects of conversations of the 
 best companies. As you have lan- 
 guages to read, and memory to retain 
 them, the knowledge of them is very 
 well worth the little pains it will cost 
 you, and will enable you to shine in 
 company. It is not pedantic to quote 
 and allude to them, which it would be 
 with regard to the ancients. \_March 
 2, 1752.] 
 
 Nothing by Halves. — Whatever 
 business you have, do it the first mo- 
 ment you can; never by halves, but 
 finish it without interruption, if pos- 
 sible. Business must not be sauntered 
 
 i34 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 and trifled with 3 and you must not say 
 to it, as Felix did to Paul, “ at a more 
 convenient season I will speak to thee.” 
 The most convenient season for busi- 
 ness is the first 3 but study and business, 
 in some measure, point out their own 
 times to a man of sense 3 time is much 
 oftener squandered away in the wrong 
 choice and improper methods of amuse- 
 ment and pleasures. \March 5, 1752.] 
 
 135 
 
Maxims 
 
 By the Earl of Chesterfield 
 
 PROPER secrecy is the only mys- 
 tery of able men ; mystery is the 
 only secrecy of weak and cunning ones. 
 
 A man who tells nothing, or who 
 tells all, will equally have nothing told 
 him. 
 
 If a fool knows a secret, he tells it 
 because he is a fool ; if a knave knows 
 one, he tells it wherever it is his interest 
 to tell it. But women, and young men, 
 are very apt to tell what secrets they 
 know, from the vanity of having been 
 trusted. Trust none of these, when- 
 ever you can help it. 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 Inattention to the present business, 
 be it what it will ; the doing one thing, 
 and thinking at the same time of 
 another, or the attempting to do two 
 things at once; are the never-failing 
 signs of a little, frivolous mind. 
 
 A man who cannot command his 
 temper, his attention, and his counte- 
 nance, should not think of being a man 
 of business. The weakest man in the 
 world can avail himself of the passion 
 of the wisest. The inattentive man* 
 cannot know the business, and conse- 
 quently cannot do it. And he who 
 cannot command his countenance may 
 e’en as well tell his thoughts as show 
 them. 
 
 Distrust all those who love you 
 extremely upon a very slight acquaint- 
 ance, and without any visible reason. 
 i37 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 Be upon your guard, too, against those 
 who confess, as their weaknesses, all 
 the cardinal virtues. 
 
 In your friendships, and in your 
 enmities, let your confidence and your 
 hostilities have certain bounds : make 
 not the former dangerous, nor the lat- 
 ter irreconcilable. There are strange 
 vicissitudes in business ! 
 
 Smooth your way to the head, 
 through the heart. The way of reason 
 is a good one ; but it is commonly 
 something longer, and perhaps not so 
 sure. 
 
 Spirit is now a very fashionable 
 word : to act with spirit, to speak with 
 spirit, means only, to act rashly, and to 
 talk indiscreetly. An able man shows 
 his spirit by gentle words and resolute 
 actions : he is neither hot nor timid. 
 138 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 When a man of sense happens to be 
 in that disagreeable situation in which 
 he is obliged to ask himself more 
 than once, What shall I do ? he will 
 answer himself, Nothing. When his 
 reason points out to him no good way, 
 or at least no one way less bad than 
 another, he will stop short, and wait 
 for light. A little busy mind runs on 
 at all events, must be doing ; and, 
 like a blind horse, fears no dangers, 
 because he sees none. II faut savoir 
 s' ennuyer . 
 
 Patience is a most necessary quali- 
 fication for business ; many a man 
 would rather you heard his story, than 
 granted his request. One must seem 
 to hear the unreasonable demands of 
 the petulant, unmoved, and the tedious 
 details of the dull, untired. That is 
 *39 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 the least price that a man must pay for 
 a high station. 
 
 It is always right to detect a fraud, 
 and to perceive a folly ; but it is often 
 very wrong to expose either. A man 
 of business should always have his eyes 
 open ; but must often seem to have 
 them shut. 
 
 In courts, nobody should be below 
 your management and attention : the 
 links that form the court chain are 
 innumerable and inconceivable. You 
 must hear with patience the dull griev- 
 ances of a gentleman usher, or a page 
 of the back-stairs ; who, very probably, 
 lies with some near relation of the 
 favourite maid, of the favourite mis- 
 tress, of the favourite minister, or per- 
 haps of the king himself ; and who, 
 consequently, may do you more dark 
 
 140 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 and indirect good, or harm, than the 
 first man of quality. 
 
 One good patron at court may be 
 sufficient, provided you have no per- 
 sonal enemies ; and, in order to have 
 none, you must sacrifice (as the Indians 
 do to the Devil) most of your passions, 
 and much of your time, to the number- 
 less evil beings that infest it : in order 
 to prevent and avert the mischiefs they 
 can do you. 
 
 A young man, be his merit what it 
 will, can never raise himself ; but must, 
 like the ivy around the oak, twine him- 
 self around some man of great power 
 and interest. You must belong to a 
 minister some time, before anybody 
 will belong to you. And an inviolable 
 fidelity to that minister, even in his 
 disgrace, will be meritorious, and rec- 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 ommend you to the next. Ministers 
 love a personal, much more than a 
 party attachment. 
 
 As kings are begotten and born like 
 other men, it is to be presumed that 
 they are of the human species ; and 
 perhaps, had they the same education, 
 they might prove like other men. 
 But, flattered from their cradles, their 
 hearts are corrupted, and their heads 
 are turned, so that they seem to be 
 a species by themselves. No king 
 ever said to himself, Homo sum , nihil 
 humani a me alienum puto . 
 
 Flattery cannot be too strong for 
 them ; drunk with it from their infancy, 
 like old drinkers, they require drams. 
 
 They prefer a personal attachment 
 to a public service, and reward it better. 
 They are vain and weak enough to 
 142 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 look upon it as a free will offering 
 to their merit, and not as a burnt sac- 
 rifice to their power. 
 
 If you would be a favourite of your 
 king, address yourself to his weaknesses. 
 An application to his reason will seldom 
 prove very successful. 
 
 In courts, bashfulness and timidity 
 are as prejudicial on one hand, as 
 impudence and rashness are on the 
 other. A steady assurance, and a cool 
 intrepidity, with an exterior modesty, 
 are the true and necessary medium. 
 
 Never apply for what you see very 
 little probability of obtaining ; for you 
 will, by asking improper and unattain- 
 able things, accustom the ministers 
 to refuse you so often, that they will 
 find it easy to refuse you the properest, 
 and most reasonable ones. It is a 
 
Selections 
 
 common, but a most mistaken rule 
 at court, to ask for everything, in 
 order to get something : you do get 
 something by it, it is true ; but that 
 something is refusals and ridicule. 
 
 There is a court jargon, a chit-chat, 
 a small talk, which turns singly upon 
 trifles ; and which, in a great many 
 words, says little or nothing. It stands 
 fools instead of what they cannot say, 
 and men of sense instead of what they 
 should not say. It is the proper language 
 of levees, drawing-rooms, and ante- 
 chambers : it is necessary to know it. 
 
 Whatever a man is at court, he 
 must be genteel and well-bred ; that 
 cloak covers as many follies, as that 
 of charity does sins. I knew a man 
 of great quality, and in a great station 
 at court, considered and respected, 
 
 144 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 whose highest character was that he 
 was humbly proud, and genteelly dull. 
 
 It is hard to say which is the greatest 
 fool ; he who tells the whole truth, or 
 he who tells no truth at all. Charac- 
 ter is as necessary in business as in 
 trade. No man can deceive often in 
 either. 
 
 At court, people embrace without 
 acquaintance, serve one another with- 
 out friendship, and injure one another 
 without hatred. Interest, not senti- 
 ment, is the growth of that soil. 
 
 A difference of opinion, though in 
 the merest trifles, alienates little minds, 
 especially of high rank. It is full as 
 easy to commend as to blame a great 
 man’s cook, or his tailor : it is shorter, 
 too ; and the objects are no more worth 
 disputing about than the people are 
 i45 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 worth disputing with. It is impossible 
 to inform, but very easy to displease, 
 them. 
 
 A cheerful, easy countenance and 
 behaviour are very useful at court ; 
 they make fools think you a good- 
 natured man ; and they make designing 
 men think you an undesigning one. 
 
 There are some occasions in which 
 a man must tell half his secret, in 
 order to conceal the rest : but there 
 is seldom one in which a man should 
 tell it all. Great skill is necessary 
 to know how far to go, and where 
 to stop. 
 
 Ceremony is necessary in courts, as 
 the outwork and defence of manners. 
 
 Flattery, though a base coin, is 
 the necessary pocket-money at court ; 
 where, by custom and consent, it has 
 146 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters He 
 
 obtained such a currency, that it is 
 no longer a fraudulent, but a legal 
 payment. 
 
 If a minister refuses you a reasonable 
 request, and either slights or injures 
 you ; if you have not the power to 
 gratify your resentment, have the wis- 
 dom to conceal and dissemble it. 
 Seeming good humour on your part 
 may prevent rancour on his, and perhaps 
 bring things right again : but if you 
 have the power to hurt, hint modestly, 
 that, if provoked, you may possibly 
 have the will, too. Fear, when real, 
 and well founded, is perhaps a more 
 prevailing motive at courts than love. 
 
 At court, many more people can 
 hurt, than can help you ; please the 
 former, but engage the latter. 
 
 Awkwardness is a more real disad- 
 
 i47 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 vantage than it is generally thought to 
 be ; it often occasions ridicule, it al- 
 ways lessens dignity. 
 
 A man’s own good breeding is his 
 best security against other people’s 
 ill manners. 
 
 Good breeding carries along with 
 it a dignity that is respected by the 
 most petulant. Ill breeding invites 
 and authorises the familiarity of the 
 most timid. No man ever said a pert 
 thing to the Duke of Marlborough. 
 No man ever said a civil one (though 
 many a flattering one) to Sir Robert 
 Walpole. 
 
 When the old clipped money was 
 called in for a new coinage in King 
 William’s time, to prevent the like 
 for the future, they stamped on the 
 edges of the crown pieces these words, 
 148 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters £# 
 
 et decus et tutamen . That is exactly 
 the case of good breeding. 
 
 Knowledge may give weight, but 
 accomplishments only give lustre ; and 
 many more people see than weigh. 
 
 Most arts require long study and 
 application ; but the most useful art 
 of all, that of pleasing, requires only 
 the desire. 
 
 It is to be presumed that a man 
 of common sense, who does not desire 
 to please, desires nothing at all ; since 
 he must know that he cannot obtain 
 anything without it. 
 
 A skilful negotiator will most care- 
 fully distinguish between the little and 
 the great objects of his business, and 
 will be as frank and open in the former, 
 as he will be secret and pertinacious 
 in the latter. 
 
 149 
 
Selections 
 
 He will, by his manners and address, 
 endeavour, at least, to make his public 
 adversaries his personal friends. He 
 will flatter and engage the man, while 
 he counterworks the minister; and he 
 will never alienate people’s minds from 
 him, by wrangling for points, either 
 absolutely unattainable, or not worth 
 attaining. He will make even a merit 
 of giving up what he could not or 
 would not carry, and sell a trifle for 
 a thousand times its value. 
 
 A foreign minister, who is concerned 
 in great affairs, must necessarily have 
 spies in his pay ; but he must not too 
 easily credit their informations, which 
 are never exactly true, often very false. 
 His best spies will always be those 
 whom he does not pay, but whom 
 he has engaged in his service by his 
 I 5° 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters 
 
 dexterity and' address, and who think 
 themselves nothing less than spies. 
 
 There is a certain jargon, which, 
 in French, I should call un persiflage 
 d'affaires , that a foreign minister ought 
 to be perfectly master of, and may 
 use very advantageously at great enter- 
 tainments in mixed companies, and 
 in all occasions where he must speak, 
 and should say nothing. Well turned 
 and well spoken, it seems to mean 
 something though in truth it means 
 nothing. It is a kind of political badi- 
 nage, which prevents or removes a 
 thousand difficulties, to which a foreign 
 minister is exposed in mixed conversa- 
 tions. 
 
 If ever the volto sciolto and the pen - 
 sieri stretti are necessary, they are so 
 in these affairs. A grave, dark, re- 
 JS 1 
 
Selections 
 
 served, and mysterious air has fcenum 
 in cornu . An even, easy, unembar- 
 rassed one invites confidence, and leaves 
 no room for guesses and conjectures. 
 
 Both simulation and dissimulation 
 are absolutely necessary for a foreign 
 minister; and yet they must stop short 
 of falsehood and perfidy ; that middle 
 point is the difficult one : there ability 
 consists. He must often seem pleased, 
 when he is vexed ; and grave, when 
 he is pleased ; but he must never say 
 either : that would be falsehood, an 
 indelible stain to character. 
 
 A foreign minister should be a most 
 exact economist ; an expense pro- 
 portioned to his appointments and 
 fortune is necessary ; but, on the other 
 hand, debt is inevitable ruin to him. 
 It sinks him into disgrace at the court 
 152 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Hr 
 
 where he resides, and into the most 
 servile and abject dependence on the 
 court that sent him. As he cannot 
 resent ill usage, he is sure to have 
 enough of it. 
 
 The Due de Sully observes very 
 justly, in his Memoirs, that nothing 
 contributed more to his rise, than that 
 prudent economy which he had observed 
 from his youth ; and by which he 
 had always a sum of money beforehand, 
 in case of emergencies. 
 
 It is very difficult to fix the particular 
 point of economy ; the best error of 
 the two is on the parsimonious side. 
 That may be corrected, the other 
 cannot. 
 
 The reputation of generosity is to 
 be purchased pretty cheap ; it does 
 not depend so much upon a man’s 
 i53 
 
#4 Selections 
 
 general expense, as it does upon his 
 giving handsomely where it is proper 
 to give at all. A man, for instance, 
 who should give a servant four shil- 
 lings would pass for covetous, while he 
 who gave him a crown would be 
 reckoned generous : so that the differ- 
 ence of those two opposite characters 
 turns upon one shilling. A man’s 
 character, in that particular, depends 
 a great deal upon the report of his 
 own servants ; a mere trifle above 
 common wages makes their report 
 favourable. 
 
 Take care always to form your 
 establishment so much within your 
 income, as to leave a sufficient fund 
 for unexpected contingencies, and a 
 prudent liberality. There is hardly 
 a year, in any man’s life, in which 
 i54 
 
Lord Chesterfield’s Letters Sfr 
 
 a small sum of ready money may 
 not be employed to great advantage . 1 
 
 x Upon the back of the original is written, 
 in Mr. Stanhope’s hand,“ Excellent maxims, but 
 more calculated for the meridian of France 
 or Spain, than of England.” 
 
 THE END. 
 

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