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CHRISTMAS DAY WITH SIR FOGRASS FOGRASS 
 FOGRASS, BART. 
 
CHRISTMAS DAY; 
 
 AND 
 
 BY FOUR PERSONS IN TIIE HOUSE 
 
 OF 
 
 ^o^xmB, ^^oc^xmB, pCofetoiT, miir Snortnir, ^mhxB. 
 BY CHRISTIAN LE ROS. 
 
 Qiiis novus hie nostris successit sedibus hospes ?— Viegil. 
 
 ILLUSTRATED BY PHIZ. 
 
 LONDON : 
 
 GEO. ROUTLEDGE & Co., EARRINGDON STREET. 
 1854. 
 
TO 
 
 F. E. W. 
 
 THIS LITTLE VOLUME 
 
 IS Ali'ECTIONATELY INSCRIBED 
 
 BY THE AUTKOE. 
 
 Gray's Inn. 
 December f 1853. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 A FEW years since we were invited to a 
 launch at Blackwall. The ship was a large 
 East Indiaman ; she was adorned with flags, 
 a band of music was stationed on board, 
 the company assembled to witness her en- 
 trance into life were both numerous and 
 select, and the pretty delicate costumes of 
 ladies contrasted with the rough habits of 
 the shipbuilders. The signal was given, 
 guns fired, the ship was christened by a 
 wealthy East India Director's daughter, and, 
 amidst the shouts of the spectators, the 
 vessel glided into the water. After the 
 
viii 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 ceremony we partook of a splendid dejeimer, 
 at which noble lords and rich shipowners 
 made long speeches, and the reporters drank 
 much champagne, and afterwards wrote ex- 
 cellent accounts of the affair in the news- 
 papers. 
 
 Going back to London by water we 
 passed a small shed, nearly opposite Green- 
 wich ; under this shed was a fishing smack, 
 just finished building, and as our steamer 
 shot bj', the little thing glided smoothty 
 off her slips into the water. No guns 
 were fired, no band played, no breakfast 
 was given, and no speeches were made. 
 Only the builder and two boys (perhaps his 
 sons) paid heed to this launch ; but it was 
 of as much importance to them as the 
 larger one was to its wealthy owners, and 
 the poor man watched his craft on the 
 water with quite as much, nay with more, 
 anxiety. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 ix 
 
 So is it in literature, there are great 
 works by well-known authors, that, like the 
 big vessels, built by rich builders, are 
 brought into the world with roarings of 
 cannon and the cheerings of the public ; 
 and there are others that modestly slip into 
 life without a single cheer, but wait pa- 
 tiently for notice, and meekly offer themselves 
 to the public taste. My small book is of this 
 latter class; it modestly asks the v/orld to 
 pay a little heed to it, to give a single breeze 
 to fill its tiny sails. The same broad river 
 flows into the same mighty ocean, under the 
 bows of the fishing smack as of the East 
 Indiaman. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. I^age 
 Introduction . » . . . I 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 Christmas Day with Sir Fograss Fograss Fograss, Bart. 1 2 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 Christmas Day with Thomas Snorton, Esq. . . 46 
 
 CHAPTER lY. 
 Christmas Day with Mr. Jack Tripples . . 82 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 Christmas Day with Timothy Poundaweek . . 103 . 
 
 CHAPTER YI. 
 Conclusion . . . . , .140 
 
CHEISTMAS DAY, 
 
 Every one who has passed tlp.^oiigh the 
 great street for bankers in London must have 
 noticed on the mahogany doors of* one of the 
 largest houses a very bright brass plat^, inscribed 
 
 FOGRASS, FOGRASS, MoWTON, AHJy SnORTON, 
 
 Bankers." It is with this most respectable firm 
 we have to do business, or rather, with four per- 
 sons connected with it ; so, if you pj^ease, gentle 
 reader, we will introduce you to part of the 
 human contents of the large office. On pushing 
 open one of the doors, the first objjscts that strike 
 the eye are long lines of desks, stretching their 
 dusky lengths the entire depth of the building ; 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
INTilODUCTIOX. 
 
 at the back rov;s, every variety of faces may be 
 seen bending over gigantic tomes, in which the 
 hands connected with the faces inscribe amounts 
 of f^ibnlous vastness. Other hands enter sums 
 in httle white velhim books, the contemplation 
 of which costs many a tradesman a heart-ache, 
 and perchance sends one or two stock-jobbing 
 sporters over to Boulogne with astonishing 
 celerity. At the front range of desks stand or 
 sit several clerks, who handle bundles of bank- 
 notes like mere bundles of rags, and weigh gold 
 with as much apparent recklessness as if it was 
 pounds of plums instead of pounds of sovereigns. 
 
 Immediately facing the entrance-door is a large 
 glass case ; Vv^e will enter this sanctum, if yo^ 
 please. In the centre of the case stands a 
 writing-table, covered with black leather, and 
 ornamented with a ponderous inkstand, ablotting- 
 book, and the *' Times " supplement; in three 
 corners are three smaller writing-tables, either 
 • the sons or younger brothers of the centre one ; 
 the fourth corner is occupied by a small railed 
 desk, in Vvhich presides the head clerk of the 
 firm, Mr. Tollinson, a little, wiry man, with a 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 3 
 
 weazened' face and keen grey eyes that twinkle 
 with a most business-like expression. A fire 
 burns brightly in the grate, and a large map of 
 Europe hangs over the chimney-piece. 
 
 At the centre table sits Sir Fograss Fograss 
 Fograss, head of the wealthy firm, and the fourth 
 baronet of the family. His great grandfather was 
 the younger son of a good, yet poor house ; he 
 embarked in business, progressed rapidly, 
 founded the bank, was made a baronet, filled the 
 office of Lord Mayor three times, married an 
 earl's daughter, sat in Parliament for ten years, 
 and finally died, leaving a flourishing business to 
 his only son, and a goodly sum of money in the 
 funds. The family of Fograss have flourished 
 well ever since his time, and the present baronet, 
 now in his sixtieth year, thinks of retiring shortly 
 from the cares and toils of business. Sir Fograss 
 is a tall, well-made man, not strictly handsome, 
 but with a face expressive of benevolence and 
 good humour. His hair is white, his voice plea- 
 sant, and the tones beautifully modulated ; to his 
 inferiors he is affable and kind, while to his 
 equals he is endeared by a thousand amiable 
 
4 
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 qualities. His hours of business are from twelve 
 to three, and are thus employed : — he reads the 
 newspapers for half-an-hour, attends to the affairs 
 of the office for an hour and a half, and makes 
 business-calls in the remaining time ; after which 
 his carriage arrives, and he takes his departure. 
 
 At one of the corner desks sits, or rather, ought 
 to sit, Mr. Duncan Fograss ; but this gentleman 
 pays little attention to business. He is about 
 thirty years of age; possesses a very good-hu- 
 moured, jolly face, and has a strong affection for 
 all field sports and dumb animals. When he 
 does come to the office, he is usually accompanied 
 by a large setter, who annoys the head clerk by 
 jumping on him, and by generally manifesting an 
 unnecessary amount of misplaced affection ; the 
 brute is also extremely offensive to the junior and 
 active partner, as it not only ate his luncheon, 
 consisting of two bath buns, twice in one week, 
 but once actually tore up an accepted bill, and 
 distributed it in very small pieces over the floor 
 of the room. However, as neither Duncan Fo- 
 grass nor his dog have anything to do with our 
 tale, we dismiss them at once, as also the keen 
 business partner, Mr. Mowton, 
 
INTRODUCTION, 
 
 6 
 
 Mx\ Thomas Snorton is fifty years of age, and 
 the junior partner in the firm. He is the off- 
 spring of a myth, or rather, as the phrase goes, 
 he sprung from nothing to his present position^ 
 which he attained by a certain amount of business 
 cleverness, and a habit of accommodating himself 
 to the wishes of others. In person Mr. Snorton 
 is rather short, and not over-fat, his face is deeply 
 pitted with the small-pox, two black eyes gleam 
 from it with a mixed expression of abject servility, 
 and false, stuck-up pride, and the nose turns up 
 with a general contempt for any one with a few 
 pounds less in his pocket than he has himself; 
 a mass of coarse iron-grey hair bristles on his 
 head, and the large shapeless mouth plainly 
 expresses self-estimation and vain glorification. 
 Mr. Snorton's gods are his money, his furniture, 
 and gentility, — he bows down and worships 
 them ; his views are narrow, and having no social 
 position by birth, he is constantly doing some- 
 thing which he thinks necessary to enable him 
 to keep that which he has attained ; his actions 
 are never prompted by liking, but by a con- 
 sideration of what other people will think of 
 them. lie walks with a bustling, fidgety gait. 
 
6 
 
 INTEOBUCTION. 
 
 and is perpetually jingling the sovereigns in his 
 pocket. 
 
 We have now to make the acquaintance of 
 two persons in the outer office. At one of the 
 back desks sits Mr. John Tripples, or rather 
 Jack Tripples, as his familiars call him. This 
 individual belongs to the fast school of life : he is 
 a good-looking fellow, with a very large pair of 
 black whiskers, curly black hair, and a face expres- 
 sive of good-humoured folly, yet not entirely 
 devoid of intellect. He frequents or rather used 
 to frequent the Cider Cellars and the Adelphi, 
 can imitate Paul Bedford in the most admirable 
 manner, and can sing comic songs with elaborate 
 tol de rol fiddle de dol choruses. Whatever 
 faults Jack possesses he certainly never neglected 
 his business, and although a convivial party 
 may keep him up until four or five o'clock, he 
 invariably enters the office at nine in the morn- 
 ing. The fourth person we have to notice 
 usually occupies a little desk just inside the 
 entrance door, on the oj)posite side to the clerks. 
 This worthy gentleman is the head messenger to 
 the establishment, Mr. Thomas Foundaweek 
 
INTilODUOTlON. 
 
 Yv^e can assure you that he has a profound admi- 
 ration for himself and his own exalted position ; 
 there is a kind of quiet dignity about the man 
 that repulses any undue familiarity on the part 
 of his subs. What this is owing to we are not quite 
 clear, unless it is hereditary, for his father had 
 filled the proud position of Parish Beadle, and as 
 our Thomas wears a blue coat with a gold collar 
 and resplendent metal buttons, possibly he 
 fancies that the halo of Beadledom illuminates his 
 own brow. Poundaweek, like Snorton, is dread- 
 fully genteel, but there is this difference between 
 the two, the former is gracious and loftily con- 
 descending to his inferiors, while the latter 
 delights in exercising a petty tyranny over those 
 whom fate has cast in the iow^er scale of fortune. 
 
 Having introduced our readers to the four per- 
 sons we purpose spending Christmas Day with, we 
 have to add that the time and date at which our 
 sketches commence is six o'clock, on Christmas 
 Eve, in the year 18 — . Sir Fograss Fograss 
 Fograss had cordially wished his partners a merry 
 Christmas, and hinted to some of the clerks in 
 the office that hampers v/ould arrive for them, or 
 
8 i:N;TiiODuaTioK. 
 
 had aiTived^and having slipped something into 
 Poundaweek's hand, had left for his country seat. 
 Mr. Snorton's great coat had been dragged on, 
 and that gentleman had gone his ways ; not, how- 
 ever, in the one-horse hooded concern which he 
 persisted in calling "the carriage," as he thought 
 the frosty night air might injure the horse, but in 
 the Clapham omnibus, in which for the first few 
 minutes he had contrived to give the other pas- 
 sengers a very great idea of his own importance, 
 by complaining of the nuisances of public vehi- 
 cles, bullying the conductor about starting, and 
 threatening the Mansian House and fines, but 
 unfortunately for the ears of the gratified list- 
 eners, the head of a large City firm entered the 
 vehicle shortly after, who being known to Mr. 
 Snorton, and of great wealth, our junior partner 
 changed his tone of annoying arrogance to one of 
 fawning civility. The clerks in the bank had 
 taken their departure ; Jack, in company with 
 two or three others, to a favourite resort, where 
 the chief attl\actions consisted of a bagatelle 
 board, and two pretty barmaids. The massive 
 iron safes were let down into their fireproof 
 
INTKODUOTJOxN'. 
 
 9 
 
 repository, which Avas locked up, and the key 
 safe in the custody of the head clerk. The under 
 messengers were busy sweeping out the office, 
 and letting down the iron shutters, while Mr. 
 Poundaweek took the opportunity of retiring into 
 the glass case to read the Times," from which 
 he occasionally looked up and glanced at his 
 assistants with the keen eye of superiority. At 
 last all w^as finis"hed, the men put on their hats 
 and coats, Mr. Poundaweek saw them all out, 
 tried the shutters, and after double-locking the 
 doors, took his departure, leaving the halls of 
 business to silence and solitude. 
 
 There is something particularly joyous in the 
 appearance of the streets of London on a Christ- 
 mas Eve, especially if it is a sharp, clear, frosty 
 night. The foot passengers hurry along wdth 
 quick, feet-warming strides; omnibuses, cabs, and 
 other vehicles run merrily over the stones. The 
 shops are unusually brilliant, the jets of gas shine 
 with unwonted brightness, and seem to throw a 
 stronger light than on ordinary occasions on 
 the articles arranged in the windows. Heaps of 
 plums and other foreign fruit are temptingly dis- 
 
10 
 
 IXTKODUCTiON. 
 
 played at the grocers', the mteriors of whose shops 
 present scenes of indescribable confusion; assist- 
 ants % and rush about with reckless impetuosity, 
 and try their utmost to satisfy the numerous 
 wants of their customers. Butchers display 
 mighty pieces of beef, in which the fat rivals the 
 lean ; the sharp knife and saw are never idle ; the 
 national food is sold with astounding rapidity, 
 and the butcher's voice is never silent. Seven 
 pounds and a quarter, ma'am, four-and-fivepence- 
 halfpenny, thank you — now ma'am, what can I do 
 for you to-night? Here Jem, just hook that 
 sirloin down. Now, Buy, Buy, Buy, Buy ! " and 
 so on. The poulterers are, however, in the 
 greatest force. Their shops are dense masses of 
 turkey and poultry ; around the former sausages 
 cling in a chainy embrace, and bright-coloured 
 ribbons mock with their flaunting streamers the 
 pallid hues of the devoted birds ! As for the 
 master poulterer and his shopmen, we verily be- 
 lieve they are ubiquitous ; they seem to be con- 
 stantly hooking turkeys down from high places, 
 selling, trussing, takiug the money for them, and 
 despatching them to their various destinations. 
 
INTllODUCTJON. 
 
 ]1 
 
 Indeed, so easily does money seem to be made by 
 dealers in provisions on Christmas Eve, that the 
 employment appears a most desirable one to 
 many a perchance needy spectator. 
 
 Christmas Eve always makes us merry, when 
 we remember the thousands of happy people the 
 morrow will assemble together. Families united 
 over the social board, business cares and trou- 
 bles forgotten for a time, nought but mirth and 
 fun abounding, old age and childhood hand-in- 
 hand. Even the poor, whose unhappy lot it is to 
 be seldom fed on substantial meat, contrive to 
 get a good dinner on that day. The games, the 
 rare old English pastimes are brought out and 
 dusted for the eventful night, and every one 
 manages to contribute a laugh to the pleasant- 
 passing hour. We love the eve much, but the 
 day more ; and when that day is ushered in, the 
 bells of many steeples awake their iron clappers, 
 and a flood of joyous sound floats through the 
 cold night air. 
 
CHAPTEPv IL 
 
 CflBlST.AEAS DAY WITH SIR FOGRASS FOGRASS FOGRASS. 
 
 The morning of Christmas Day, 18 — , broke as 
 brightly as ever day did before. The air was 
 clear and frosty, and the distant hills stood out 
 sharply and distinctly against the light blue sky. 
 The sun came up and shone with a red lurid 
 face, and reflected its feeble rays on the ice which 
 coated the little stream that threads its way by 
 the borders of Fograss Court Park. The grass 
 sparkled with the crystallized dew that concealed 
 its bright greenness ; the trees were covered with 
 hoar frost, and their branches shone brightly 
 when the cold bracing wind swayed them to and 
 fro; the roads rang merrily to the horses' hoofs, 
 and the two or three foot passengers in sight 
 trotted steadily along with their noses buried in 
 
CHRISTMAS DAY, &C. 13 
 
 woollen comforters, and beating their bodies to 
 promote the circulation of the blood. 
 
 Fograss Court is situated in the pleasant 
 county of Kent, about two hours' journey from 
 London. The original building was Elizabethan, 
 but succeeding generations have added to it in 
 different styles of architecture, and consequently 
 the house presents a rather nondescript appear- 
 ance. Here stands a piece of the original Tudor, 
 with its depressed mullioned windows, joined to 
 a bit of renaissance, with classical decorations, 
 and at one end connected with a ball-room, of 
 almost Strawberry Hill gothic, a brick conser- 
 vatory runs out, built in imitation of Wren's 
 orangery in Kensington Gardens. Altogether and 
 seen from a distance, the house is picturesque, 
 and as there is very little flatness in the various 
 parts, strong shadows materially heighten the 
 effect of the whole. 
 
 All was bustle and excitement inside Fograss 
 Court, the kitchens were heaped with provisions, 
 tremendous fires roared in the grates, and the 
 chimney belched forth so mighty a volume of 
 smoke, that the one polit)eman in the little neigh- 
 
14 
 
 CTIPaSTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 bauring village almost imagined that " The 
 Court" had fallen a prey to the devouring ele- 
 ment. The two cooks were in a great state of 
 excitement and perspiration, and rated their subs 
 with a right good-will. Servants hurried to and 
 fro, to fetch fresh supplies of eatables for the 
 breakfast table, everywhere below evinced signs 
 of bustle and busy preparation, and everywhere 
 above signs of good-humoured joy and happi- 
 ness. 
 
 Sir Fograss Fograss Fograss was a baronet of 
 the old school ; many said he was better fitted for 
 a country squire than a London banker. Be that 
 as it may, his chief pleasure lay in making others 
 happy; his tenantry venerated him, and his 
 neighbours and numerous friends admired and 
 respected him. He never failed giving a harvest 
 home and a Christmas dinner annually to all 
 who chose to partake of them ; no matter to what 
 station or class they belonged, every one was 
 welcomed with kindness and hospitality. The old 
 house on tliose days of rejoicing was turned into 
 a public hotel, with this material difference, that 
 the host paid for everything instead of the 
 guests. 
 
SIR FOGKASS FOGRASS FOGRASS. 
 
 15 
 
 On the morning of which ^Ye are writing every 
 available room in the Court had its occupant ; 
 lords, ladies, baronets, squires, masters, mistresses, 
 and misses, were gathered together for the joyous 
 occasion, and from eight until ten the large break- 
 fast room was constantly emptying itself of satis-^ 
 fied breakfasters, only to be re-filled with fresh 
 detachments of hungry guests. About ten, Sir 
 Fograss and his wife entered the room, followed 
 by several others who wished to know the order 
 of procedure for the day. 
 
 *' Good morning to all," cried Sir Fograss, *^ a 
 merry Christmas and a happy New Year to 
 every one." 
 
 The same to you and your family," cried 
 several voices at once. 
 
 How wewy wong of people to wash such 
 horrid old-fashioned vulgarities to each other," 
 observed that sapient Lord Froodle, in a charming 
 lisping voice to his friend, Sir Harry Hablington. 
 The young nobleman was seventeen, a Cornet in 
 the Blues, and utterly blase. 
 
 Oh, very; I wonder you don't shut yourself 
 up altogether on these vulgar festive days," said 
 
16 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 Louisa Fograss, the Baronet's eldest daughter, a 
 lively jolly girl of one-and-twenty. 
 
 *' Now, weally, Miss Fograss, you are too bad, 
 a jeuced deal, you are too bad upon us young 
 fellers," replied the young lord. 
 
 ** I should have thought nothing could have 
 touched you hard, Froodle," said Fanny Fograss, 
 a cousin of Louisa's ; '* I thought the Blues were 
 too much men of the world to be hurt by a feeble 
 woman's remark." 
 
 " We purpose going to church this morning," 
 said Sir Fograss, in a loud voice, *' it is a custom 
 here on Christmas Days ; if any of our friends 
 will go with us we shall be very glad of their 
 company." 
 
 All said they would go, and as the morning was 
 fine, walking instead of riding was proposed. 
 Immediately there was a rush to the door, and in 
 ten minutes a large party started off for the village 
 church. A very cheerful party it was, too, and a 
 great deal of laughing and talking was heard. 
 The baronet and his lady, accompanied by several 
 old and steady guests, walked on first very se- 
 dately and properly. The younger members came 
 
sir. FOGKASS FOGRASS FOGRASS. 
 
 17 
 
 after\Yards, and we are compelled to state that the 
 course of their procedure was neither particularly 
 melancholy nor solemn. 
 
 "What are those sticks for on the lawn?" asked 
 Lord Froodle, pointing to some firework frames 
 that had been erected. 
 
 Oh, the heavens are going to have an evening 
 party to-night," replied Fanny Fograss. 
 
 " What do you mean, Miss Fograss ? You are 
 so wewy odd," inquired the puzzled little Lord. 
 
 " Why, fireworks always remand me of stars 
 polking and waltzing." 
 
 "You should not make such remarks, Fanny, 
 to Lord Froodle," said the Baronet's eldest son, 
 Edward Fograss, a fine young fellow of three-and- 
 twenty. " He 's no astronomer." 
 
 " No, I never could manage astwonomy," said 
 the sapient Blue. 
 
 At this moment something white flew through 
 the air and struck Edward- Fograss on the hat 
 Every on e n e ar lo oke d very m uch as tonish e d , bu t th e 
 mystery was soon explained, the snow which had 
 fallen three or four days before had drifted u||ier 
 the trees, where it still lay ; the temptation was 
 
18 
 
 CHBISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 too great to. bo resisted by Louisa Fograss, who 
 made up a ball and hurled it at her brother, where 
 upon his cousin Fanny stepped forward as his 
 champion, and returned the missile. Lieutenant 
 Ponsford of the Guards now came to the assist- 
 ance of Louisa; others soon joined the snowy 
 fray, the fierce tide of battle raged with violence, 
 the remaining spectators speedily mixed in the 
 fight, and the air was clouded with the missiles 
 of war. The elder party hearing the shouting 
 and laughter of the combatants, turned to learn 
 the cause of the excitement, when, unluckily, at 
 that moment, Louisa Fograss despatched a snow- 
 ball at thje weak little head of Lord Froodle; 
 happily it missed the seat of his small amount of 
 brains, and, dreadful to relate, struck her own 
 father's hat from his head, and, as old Lord 
 Boynton was standing immediately behind, ba 
 stepped back to avoid the blow, knocking hi^ 
 head against Sir Mortram Mc Gillup, who in liii^^ 
 turn started, and trod upon the toe of Mr. Fortramj^ 
 the family tutor, and as that worthy gentleman, 
 was raising his foot in pain, he administered a 
 kick to a lai^gc dog, that immediately set up a most 
 
SIR FOGRASS FOGRASS FOGRASS. 
 
 19 
 
 unfortunate howl. Thus did all these mishaps 
 occur through a piece of snow thrown by a little 
 white^ hand, cased in one of Jouvin's six-and-a- 
 quarter gloves. 
 
 "Why, Louisa," exclaimed the Baronet, "you 
 are a perfect little David at throwing !" 
 
 " With this difference, however. Sir Fograss, 
 Miss Louisa has discomfited four Goliaths instead 
 of oiie," gallantly remarked Lieutenant Ponsford. 
 
 " And very happy are the four giants to become 
 the mark for so fair a thrower," said old Lord 
 Boynton, a nobleman of the George the Fourth 
 regime, with a fine polite Bond Street air. 
 
 " Hoot mon, but yer ower polite, Lord Boynton. 
 Now I just recollect mysel, my grandfather told 
 me that when Miss Mac Gillup went to meet the 
 Chevalier on his way fra Prestonpans" — at this 
 point of the Scotch Baronet's narrative several 
 persons were suddenly seized with fast w^alking, 
 fast talking, and fast coughing-fits, as most of 
 them knew the old fellow's Pretender stories by 
 heart, and his audience dwindled away to the 
 family tutor, Mr. Fortram, who listened with great 
 attention to the tale. 
 
so 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAT WITH 
 
 For my part," remarked Lord Froodle, " 1 
 think pwactical joking wewy stupid." 
 
 Of course you think eYerythmg practical slow, 
 don't you ? " said Fanny Fograss. 
 
 '^Yes, it is a hwor," replied the future legis- 
 lator. 
 
 Only fit for jeuced vulgar fellows, bwutes that 
 
 work and dig, you know what I mean," said 
 
 Fanny, mimicking Lord Froodle's voice to her 
 
 cousin Edward, as she took his arm, and they 
 
 walked off together, at first talking rather loud, 
 
 and then letting their voices gradually sink lower 
 
 and lower, and somehow the rest of the party got 
 
 before them, and we must confess that Edward 
 
 looked at her face rather oftener than cousinly 
 
 affection warranted, and they were the last to 
 
 turn out of the Park avenue into the road where 
 
 hat madcap Louisa, with Lieutenant Ponsford, 
 
 pounced upon them and repeated in a significant 
 
 tone — * 
 
 " Oh Love, you 've been a villain, since the days of Troy and 
 Helen, 
 
 When you caused the fall of Paris and of very many 
 more ;" 
 
 at which all laughcdj and as, the truth must be 
 
SIR FOGRASS FOGRASS FOGRASS. 21 
 
 told, Lieutenant Ponsford was engaged to Louisa, 
 and Edward tQ his cousin Fanny, they all 
 walked on together, looking a very radiant and 
 happy quartet. 
 
 The whole party soon arrived at the village ; 
 in the churchyard were assembled numerous 
 villagers and tenantry of the Baronet's, the greet- 
 ings were cordial and respectful, and fully testified 
 the sincerity of their affection for Sir Fograss 
 and his family. Every one was desirous of 
 offering a congratulation to their benevolent 
 patron, who turned to his wife and said :— 
 
 *' This affects me very much, Margaret. I thank 
 God that we are able to protect and assist our 
 poorer neighbours : may we never abuse the 
 power that is entrusted to us.'* 
 
 There is something delightful in making 
 people happy," replied his wife, "and you do 
 so always, Fograss; your heart is indeed good 
 and noble. Bless you ;" she looked up in her 
 husband's face and saw there responding emotion 
 visibly expressed: she pressed his arm, and in 
 her heart honoured him still more for this silent 
 yet eloquent display of feeling. 
 
22 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 The bell ceased its voice of call, and the crowd 
 quitted the churchyard, and entered the quaint 
 little edifice. The Vicar, Dr. Claxton, was a fine 
 venerable old man, a profound scholar and a 
 literary man of no small pretensions. He had 
 taken high honors at Oxford, but quitted the 
 quiet shady walks and studious colleges for the 
 pleasures of a married life, and now, thanks to 
 Sir Fograss, he was comfortably installed in a 
 neat parsonage, and encumbered with a quiet 
 charitable, cheerful lady, and a living of five 
 hundred a-year. 
 
 Learned as the Eeverend Dr. was, he still 
 possessed a large quantity of sound common sense, 
 and he was perfectly aware that high doctrinal dis- 
 courses would be unintelligible to the majority of 
 his auditors in an agricultural village ; his sermons 
 were therefore shaped to suit the capacity of the 
 most ignorant of his listeners. On Christmas 
 Day the short address was especially simple, the 
 Vicar's full voice rolled with solemn impressive- 
 ness through the little pile, he spoke words of 
 comfort to sinners, and placed before them the 
 glories resulting from true religious faith. His 
 
SIPv rOGRASS FOGRASS FOGRASS. 
 
 sermon was so excellent and earnest that 
 the veriest trifler listened v/ith pleasure and 
 attention. 
 
 When the service was concluded the congre- 
 gation again assembled in the churchyard. 
 
 " My dear friends," said the Baronet, in a loud 
 voice, *^you know the old custom at the Court, 
 a dinner at two for such as like to partake of it ; 
 let me see a great number of smiling faces around 
 me to-day." 
 
 Thank you, Sir Fograss," was heard from 
 several points, with a strong Kentish-man twang. 
 
 " Do you mean to say that these bwores are 
 coming to dine with us ?" asked Lord Froodle in 
 astonishment. 
 
 To be sure we do, most nobl^ sir," said 
 Fanny Fograss, and we shall wait on them our 
 royal selves." 
 
 ''Now, 'pon my life that's not a good joke, 
 that's going too far," remarked the little Lord. 
 
 *' And you cannot possibly object to these poor 
 people being made happy by Sir Fograss ?" asked 
 Dr. Claxton, who had joined the party with his 
 wife, and overheard Lord Froodle's inquiry. 
 
24 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 ' Oh no, of course not, but then I don't see 
 why they can't be fed at home ; they smell of 
 ploughs and earth," replied the little specimen of 
 nobility. 
 
 " What, ho there, sir varlets ! " said Fanny, with 
 a wave of her hand, bring rivers, lakes, gulfs, 
 oceans of eau de Cologne for the Lordly Froodle." 
 
 " Now you are too bad," said he, getting very 
 red in the face, you are so jeuced hard on a 
 feller." 
 
 " Pray forgive me, but we are such old friends," 
 she replied, that sometimes I forget you are not 
 a boy now, but a man, and a British officer ; so 
 give me your hand and let's be friends." 
 
 " I can't refuse you, pawsitively," replied he, 
 shaking her hand, and looking very like a school- 
 boy who has just been forgiven an offence. 
 
 *'I say," said Edward Fograss, *'I'm getting 
 jealous of you, Froodle, you are quite monopo- 
 lizing Fanny." 
 
 This remark completely restored the Blue's 
 equanimity of temper. 
 
 " I nearly gave him another commission in the 
 Blu£s to-day," said Fanny, archly,-^ as she took 
 Edward's arm. 
 
SIR FOGRASS FOGRASS FOGRASS. 
 
 25 
 
 The Baronet's own party and a large number 
 of villagers had by this time reached the park 
 avenue, and a very joyous train it was altogether, 
 and frequent bursts of merriment alarmed the 
 rooks in their retreat, who cawed forth a rem on 
 strance, and no doubt chatted to themselves con- 
 cerning the unusual noise and bustle. The 
 various parties, however, soon dispersed ; some 
 made for the pond ; others walked about, talking 
 and laughing; whilst several hastened to the 
 house to collect "properties," and make arrange- 
 ments for the charades which were to form part 
 of the evening's amusement. 
 
 The lawn in front of Fograss Court, about 
 half-past one in the day presented a most lively 
 aspect ; the smooth, sloping turf, dotted here and 
 there with large oaks, and wide- spreading solemn 
 yew trees, whose branches threw a faint shadow 
 on the ground, was covered with peojDle of all 
 ages, sizes, and ranks. The easy morning-suit of a 
 London swell, with his neat wide-awake and thick 
 shooting-shoes contrasted with the green elabor- 
 ately embroidered smock frock, turned-up trou- 
 sers, and long-napped beaver hat of the rustic ; 
 l>road-backed, top-booted farmers stood side by 
 
26 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 side with well-dressed comity members ; and the 
 thick, rough coat, military heeled boots, and 
 plush bonnet of a helle demoiselle, deigned to 
 flank the scanty-skirted woollen gown, straw 
 bonnet trimmed with smart ribbons, and little 
 gay edged black shawl of a village maid or 
 matron. 
 
 On the broad gravel walk before the house a 
 host of laughing faces and active bodies threaded 
 my Grandmother's Needle a thousand times over ; 
 on the large ornamental piece of water were 
 several skaters, and three or four slides of fabu- 
 lous length, on which the expert at sliding did 
 the cobbler's tap," and made "candles," much 
 to the admiration of the less experienced. A 
 party also engaged in Hockey flew about with 
 wonderful velocity, flourishing their sticks most 
 vigorously, and knocking each other's shins in a 
 playful, if not a graceful manner. The little 
 stream below was occupied by sledges, in which 
 sat Louisa Fograss, her cousin Fanny, and two 
 or three other young ladies, all full of fun and 
 jollity ; their cavaliers, we are ashamed to say, 
 indulged in cigars, as they drove their fair chai'ges 
 
SIR FOGRASS FOGRASS FOGRASS. 
 
 over the clear surface of the ice with great ra- 
 pidity. 
 
 *' I fancy I am in Eussia, now," said Louisa 
 Fograss ; " this is capital fun, is it not, Fanny ?" 
 
 Oh, delightful ! just like the land of the 
 Czar ; and look ! there 's a wild bear." 
 
 " Where ? " asked Edward. 
 Why, there ; Lord Froodle is one, isn't he ? " 
 
 *' I think you mean a hoar,'" said Louisa. 
 
 *'What a dreadful joke, Lou," remonstrated 
 Lieutenant Ponsford ; *' it 's been in every edi- 
 tion of Joe Miller, every burlesque, and in every 
 comic periodical for the last hundred years." 
 
 *'And not worn out yet," said Fanny; '*how 
 strong it must be ! that 's a great advantage in 
 old puns, they bear being used often ; but new 
 jokes seldom bear repeating more than once, — 
 don't you think so. Lord Froodle ?" 
 
 'Pon my life, I think jokes are vewy stupid," 
 he replied ; " I never can make them out." 
 
 *'You can't make a silken purse, &c.," whispered 
 Edward to his cousin. 
 
 " For shame, Edward ; you have no right to 
 interfere with my property ; no one has a right 
 
28 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 to abuse the poor little fellow but myself," she 
 replied. 
 
 *' Ah ! papa ! " exclaimed Louisa, as the Baro- 
 net, accompanied by Sir Mortram MacGillup, 
 Lord Boynton, and Dr. Claxton, approached the 
 edge of the stream, all looking very smiling, and 
 Sir Fograss's eyes beaming with gratified plea- 
 sure and benevolence ; "we are having such a 
 delightful ride." 
 
 "That's right; enjoy yourselves as much as 
 you can. I never w^as so happy before," said 
 her father, with his eyes beaming with joy ; " it 's 
 a glorious day, and all the people seem so con- 
 tented." 
 
 " Thanks to you, Sir Fo grass," said the Yicar. 
 
 " Nonsense, nonsense, it 's not my work, it 's 
 yours," replied the Baronet, "if you had not 
 kept them in the right path, none of these 
 country-people would have been able to enjoy the 
 simple sports they now engage in with so much 
 keenness." 
 
 " But then " said the Vicar. 
 
 "No buts, my dear friend, you shall have the 
 entire credit." 
 
SIR FOGRASS FO GRASS FOGHASS. 
 
 29 
 
 "Well, well," said tlie Vicar, laughing, "be 
 it so." 
 
 " Keally, ladies, this reminds me of old days," 
 said Lord Boynton to the sledging party, " when 
 the Prince Eegent and myself, with a distin- 
 guished party of rank and beauty, enjoyed 
 ourselves with sledges on Virginia water." 
 
 ^' Fancy old Lord Boynton skating," whispered 
 Louisa to Lieutenant Ponsford. 
 
 " I can't, for the life of me," was the reply. 
 
 " But the men of the present day are sadly 
 deficient and fallen off in politeness ; we never 
 smoked when ladies were present." 
 
 " Oh," exclaimed several ladies at once, " we 
 like it excessively." 
 
 "Yes, it scents the hair so agreeably," said 
 Fanny, " doesn't it. Louisa? " 
 
 " For my ain part, noo, I mind about sleigh- 
 ing that my grandfather when the Chevalier—" 
 w^hat Sir Mortram Mac Gillup said about sleigh- 
 ing and the Pretender is unknown to every one, 
 excepting a quiet tenant of Sir Fograss, as the 
 rest of the party, pretending not to hear the 
 beginning of the narrative, had dashed oif in 
 various directions. 
 
30 
 
 CHEISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 Tlie park altogether appeared devoted to mer- 
 riment. The Baronet was here, there, and every 
 where, now talldng hops, malt-tax, and protec- 
 tion to farmers, then joining a game of romps 
 with some children, anon joking two or three 
 blushing village lasses, and always encouraging 
 every one in their sports, from simple Jack Gam- 
 mon to the equally simple Lord Froodle, who 
 called everything a bwor and jeuced slow." As 
 for the rooks, they could stand the noise no 
 longer, so they retired to the trees in a sporting 
 baronet's domain, where they rested in peace and 
 solitude, as the owner, after having run through 
 his estate in three years, (we don't mean literally, 
 but figuratively,) had retired to the continent to 
 recruit his exhausted coffers, by compulsory 
 economy. 
 
 At half-past two, the large dinner bell at the 
 Court uttered its hospitable summons; all an- 
 swered to the welcome call, and speedily the 
 hungry crowd quitted the sports of the park for 
 the feats of the dining-table. This early meal was 
 prepared for the tenantry and farm labourers, and 
 any one else that chose to partake of it. It was 
 
Sm FOGHASS FOGEASS FOGKASS. ol 
 
 not served in the original old hall of the house, 
 hut in a larger one that had heen erected in the 
 reign of Charles the Second. This was a very 
 long room, wainscoted with dark oaken panels, 
 on which hung family portraits, from that of 
 Baron Eeginald Luce Luce, whose grandfather, 
 or other ancestor, came over, of course, with the 
 Conqueror, to the late Lady Luce Fograss, grand- 
 mother of the present Baronet, the lady that 
 brought the estate to the house of Fograss, she 
 being the last representative of the noble race of 
 Luce, and on her marriage the mansion changed 
 its name from "Luce Hall " to " Fograss Court.'* 
 The portraits were adorned with holly, whose 
 bright red berries formed a strong contrast to the 
 dark faded colors on the canvas ; it was placed there 
 to the evident annoyance of two or three of the 
 antiquated lords and ladies, and especially to one 
 fierce -looking gentleman in a military uniform of 
 Queen Anne's time, who appeared to regard the 
 holly decorating his wife's frame with so evil an 
 aspect, that we quite thought he would raise his 
 marshal's baton and fell the presuming evergreen 
 to the ground. At the lower end of the hall, 
 
32 
 
 CHlllSTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 immediately over the great entrance doors, was 
 erected, as old Pepys would have called it, a 
 *'goodlie gallerie for musique," but it was not 
 now occupied by the "four-and-twenty fiddlers all 
 in a row," who were wont to pour forth sweet 
 melody during the court dances of the *'merrie 
 monarch," but by the village band, consisting of 
 eight musicians, who invariably brought their 
 sweet concert of sounds to the Court on Christ- 
 mas Days. The front of the gallery was also 
 hung v/ith holly. Three large brass chandeliers 
 descended at regular intervals from the roof of 
 the hall, and to the centre one was appended a 
 huge branch of mistletoe, which gave rise to much 
 mirth and' harmless fun. Two long tables occu- 
 pied nearly the whole length of each side of the 
 hall, leaving a free passage up the centre to a 
 cross table at the upper end, which was filled by 
 the Baronet's own friends, who took their lun- 
 cheon at this hour. 
 
 When the doors were thrown open the hungry 
 crowd entered at first with some degree of order 
 and regularity, but the last detachments tumbled 
 in with wonderful haste, only to be accounted for 
 
SIR FOGRASS FOGKASS FOGKASS. 33 
 
 by the keenness of empty stomachs ; the band 
 struck up an old English air as Sir Fograss and 
 his family took their places at the transverse 
 table ; the various rustics often tumbling over 
 one another, and creating a great deal of unne- 
 cessary confusion, at last shook into their places 
 Immediately after, servants entered in procession, 
 bearing weighty dishes, on which reposed mighty 
 sirloins of beef, Brobdignag turkeys, and piles 
 of vegetables, and the necessary sundries. *' The 
 Eoast Beef of Old England " was blown, scraped, 
 and tootled by the band until the dishes were 
 placed on the table and the covers removed ; 
 after which there was a slight pause, the hum 
 of conversation gradually subsided, the sons of 
 Apollo hushed their melodious labours, except- 
 ing the flute, for the ancient musician who 
 played that most melancholy of melancholy 
 instruments, being rather deaf, continued, to the 
 amusement of all present, to pour forth a harsh 
 hoarse whistle long after the others had ceased, 
 and until he was jogged by one of his fellows, 
 v/hen he desisted in confusion, muttering, " What 
 a fool I be, sureZ?/." A short, simple, impressive 
 
CHiUSTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 grace was said by the Eev. Dr. Claxton, in the 
 
 Amen " to which nearly every one in the old 
 hall joined ; a pause for a minute or two ensued, 
 and then the full tide of voices rushed forth 
 again in Babellic confusion, — everybody talked 
 to everybody else, and we believe that if each 
 had possessed three tongues instead of one, he 
 would have used them all at the same time. 
 
 Soon, however, conversation gave way to the 
 clatter of knives and forks, even the band forgot 
 for a brief period the existence of bars, chords, 
 and common or six-eight time, and gave their 
 minds and mouths up to beef and beer. 
 
 Well now, really this is a very pleasant scene," 
 said Lord Boynton to Sir Fograss. 
 
 " Weel now, it just minds me o' the days w^hen 
 grandfather entertained the Chevalier at Mac 
 Gillup Tower," interposed the Scotch Baronet. 
 
 I wish old Mac Gillup had been shut up all* 
 his life in Mac Gillup Tower with all my heart," 
 whispered Edward Fograss to Fanny. 
 
 "Do you not observe," said Sir Fograss, *'what 
 a great amount of innate politeness exists 
 amongst the lower class ? look at many of the men, 
 
SIR FOGKASS FOGRASS FOGRASS. 85 
 
 how careful they are to attend to the women's 
 wants." 
 
 "Why the bwors certainly do know how to 
 bewave," remarked Lord Froodle, " but its wewy 
 like the politeness of bwears." 
 
 "Every one is not a Froodle in manners," said 
 Fanny Fograss, with mock politeness. 
 
 " You flatter me, pawsitively," said the flutter- 
 ing little Lord." 
 
 ^' The happiness observable in the faces of 
 the people, Lady Fograss, strikes me as the 
 pleasantest part of the picture to-day," said the 
 Vicar. 
 
 " Well, I think, Doctor, that our system brings 
 its own reward," remarked her Ladyship. 
 
 Certainly, Madam. It is not merely the fact 
 of your giving them something to eat every year, 
 but it is the assembling them together, uniting 
 and cementing the bonds of fellowship between 
 them," rejoined the Vicar, in an animated tone. 
 
 "I conceive too," said his lady, "that by this 
 reunion you create an affection between the 
 employer and the employed, and by placing 
 those on a level here for one day you give the 
 
36 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 master an opportunity of seeing that his man 
 is not merely a machine, but a human being, 
 possessed of feelings and actuated by passions 
 as he is himself." 
 
 Bravo, Mrs. Claxton," said the Baronet, " very 
 ably put: why we shall have you bringing out 
 some little tracts on Labour shortly." 
 
 I assure you," replied the Vicar, that my wife 
 is like a millstream when she once gets off about 
 labour ; if she lived in a factory neighbourhood 
 I verily believe she would incite the people to 
 burn the mills, so indignant is she about over- 
 work." 
 
 *' Well, it is shameful, is it not, Lady Fograss ? " 
 asked Mrs. Claxton, whereupon the two ladies 
 entered into discussion on the subject. 
 
 "I say. Miss Fograss, havnt we anything else 
 to eat but this beef and other solid stuff? " asked 
 Lord Froodle. 
 
 ** No, we always eat beef and turkey for lunch 
 on Christmas Days, but you can have something 
 else if you like," she replied. 
 
 " What's the matter, Froodle ? " asked Edward- 
 Oh, nothing, tln^nk you." 
 
SIR FGGEASS FOGP.ASS FOGKASS. 37 
 
 *' He wants a little delicacy for his poor little 
 appetite : get him soml^ weak gruel, poor little 
 Blue," said Fanny to Louisa contemptuously. 
 
 " If that little monster was'nt so very harmless 
 I should hate him," said Louisa. 
 
 In the hall where every one looked so joyous 
 and happy, the influence of Sir Fograss's genial 
 smile could he felt from one end to the other ; his 
 face beamed with happiness, and he seemed 
 perpetually going off in a laugh. Justice was at 
 last done to the meat, the small remnants of the 
 once mighty dead were removed, and presently 
 the puddings came, and what a shout the little 
 children gave when they saw them burning in 
 brandy ! and wonderful puddings they were too, 
 large enough for a globe dancer to go through 
 his performance on ; they were mighty puddings ! 
 and we have often wondered where they could 
 have found anything large enough to boil them 
 in, and when they were cut open how dark 
 and rich they looked ; and they must have been 
 very good, for presently the clatter of knives 
 and forks made more noise than ever, and we 
 saw so many little boys and girls eat so much 
 
38 
 
 CHETSTiMAS DAY WITH 
 
 that we have a vague suspicion that powders 
 and pills follow^ed the plums and spices. 
 
 Everything must have an end, even a Christmas 
 , dinner, and the remains of the puddings were 
 removed, and the tables cleared, only, however, 
 to be replenished with bowls of punch, some very 
 nice home-made wine for the women, bottles of 
 spirits, and flagons of beer. Toasts now^ began, 
 *and the band played after each with great vigour; 
 the Baronet's health was ** drunk with enthusiasm," 
 which spoke the heart-felt respect all present 
 entertained for him. 
 
 At about four the party from the upper table 
 rose to retire, and as the train passed down the 
 room the others all got up from their seats, and the 
 band essayed *'Eule Britannia," but their feeble 
 music was speedily lost in the deafening cheer 
 which arose, and shook the very rafters; the 
 worthy Baronet turned at the door of the room, 
 bowed to the company, and mentally thanked 
 them for this tribute of joyous respect. The party 
 had no sooner quitted the hall when one of the 
 long tables was removed, leaving a clear space ; 
 the musicians came down from the gallery for a 
 
SIR FOGRASS FOGRASS FOGRASS. 
 
 39 
 
 short time. The children began to play about, 
 and were soon joined by the young men and 
 women of the party, and a great deal of struggling, 
 screaming, and kissing took place under the 
 mistletoe ; and afterwards blind-man's-buff, hunt- 
 the-slipper, and other games were carried on with 
 great vigour. The remainder of the party occupied 
 the two tables and sang songs of great length, the 
 last word of every verse being prolonged and 
 sung through the nose, and it must be confessed— 
 hear it, ye aristocratics of gentility, mark it, ye 
 mushroom tribe of would be great folks — Pipes, 
 long clay pipes were introduced, and the fames of 
 Virginian tobacco ascended up to the very roof of 
 the old hall, and desecrated the sanctity of the 
 residence of nobles ! One man actually smoked 
 up into the face of the holly-hating gentleman of 
 Queen Anne's time, and as we felt quite confident 
 that he would speedily descend from his frame 
 and chastise the audacious smoker, we quitted the 
 rough genial merriment of the Hall for the more 
 refined yet not less genial merriment of the 
 Drawing Eoom. 
 
 It was now about five o'clock, day had departed, 
 
40 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 the red frosty sun had left us in our snow and 
 frost for some more genial land, the rooks had 
 returned to their natural abodes, happy to find 
 their territory again in peace and quietness ; a 
 dark bank of heavy clouds extended across the 
 eastern horizon, and the wind ever and anon burst 
 forth in fitful gusts and starts, w^hile the air was 
 piercingly cold, and the ground frozen and 
 slippery. 
 
 The coldness without made every one within 
 appreciate the large wood fires that blazed on the 
 two hearths in the drawing-room at Fograss 
 Court. The Baronet and his lady were standing 
 before one of the fires, surrounded by a group of 
 elderly persons, discussing the various duties of 
 landed proprietors, and talking over the scene they 
 had witnessed that day. Louisa, Fanny, Edward, 
 and Lieutenant Ponsford, with several other lively 
 young persons, were arranging the charades for 
 the evening, and meditating mischief against Lord 
 Froodle, and a Mr. Edward Mables, a very 
 amiable, quiet young gentleman, who was at that 
 moment reading " The Lady of Shalott," in a 
 corner of the room. Mr. Mables' had one fault, but 
 
SIR FOGRASS FOGRASS FOGRASS. 41 
 
 that was a grave one — he made poetry, and was 
 consequently a perfect nuisance to all young ladies 
 possessed of albums, and as he had taken up four 
 of the prettiest pages in Louisa Fograss's, with a 
 long lyric called the Spartan Bride," of which 
 no one ever read more than the first ten lines, the 
 fair owner had determined to revenge herself, and 
 the whole party were now in solemn conclave con- 
 cerning the punishment he was to receive Lord 
 Froodle sat at a table playing at a rhyming 
 game, in which one person has to rhyme to a 
 word given him by another. Froodle had to 
 make a rhyme to ''Hippopotamus," and he ran- 
 sacked his little brains for a long time, but at 
 length he was forced to give up the attempt in 
 des]3air, remarking that it was " jeuced hard on a 
 feller." Several other parties were scattered about 
 the room, engaged in light amusing occupations, 
 and every one looked very pleased and happy. 
 
 The French clocks in the room struck the half- 
 hour, and, as the dinner was to be ready at half-past 
 seven, many young ladies were already contem- 
 plating the necessity of retiring to dress. The 
 Baronet was engaged in a warm discussion with 
 
42 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 Dr. Claxton concerning the Game Laws. Lord 
 Boynton was giving personal recollections of the 
 glorious reign of George the Fourth, Sir Mortram 
 Mac Gillup had caught a new audience for his 
 Pretender stories, the charadists were going into 
 the old hall to see ahout properties; four or 
 five country neighhours expected from a long 
 distance had already arrived, when suddenly a 
 carriage was heard dashing up the avenue at a 
 furious pace. 
 
 *'Dear me!'' w4io can that be?" said Sir 
 Fograss. 
 
 " I should think the horses must have run 
 away," said Dr. Claxton; but at that moment 
 the vehicle stopped with a sudden jerk; the hall 
 door was heard to open, and immediately a 
 footman entered the drawing-room. 
 
 *'Mr. Snorton wishes to see you, sir, if you 
 please," said the man. 
 
 Mr. Snorton ! why, w^hat can he have come 
 for, I wonder? " said the Baronet. 
 
 ** Did you invite him down ? " asked his lady. 
 No, my dear. How very odd ! " 
 
 *' Well, papa," said Louisa, you had better 
 
SIR FOGRASS FOGRASS FOGRASS. 43 
 
 go and see him, I think. What a bore if he 
 stays to dine !" added she, half aside. 
 
 The Baronet left the room, and found Snorton 
 standing before the hall fire. 
 
 " Why, Snorton, my dear friend," said he, 
 this is an unexpected pleasure. Why, I thought 
 you were at home ; but I 'm glad you 've come ; 
 we have had such a merry day, and mean to have, 
 too, a very merry evening." 
 
 As the Baronet shook hands with his partner, 
 he suddenly perceived that his face was very 
 pale, and that his hand trembled violently. 
 
 "What's the matter? are you ill? you look 
 dreadfully pale," said the Baronet, much agitated. 
 
 "No, I am quite well ; but I bring ill tidings. 
 Sir Fograss," said Snorton, aloud; and then he 
 whispered something into the Baronet's ear. Sir 
 Fograss turned pale likewise, and motioned Mr. 
 Snorton into the library, and the door was shut 
 upon them. The servants who had heard this 
 dialogue were curious 'to learn the nature of the 
 ill news, and one going to the door of the library 
 heard his master exclaim, " Good God I what is 
 to be done?" 
 
44 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 Half an hour elapsed without Sir Fograss re- 
 appearing; Lady Fograss began to get uneasy 
 at his prolonged absence; and the various visitors, 
 as if aware that something unpleasant had oc- 
 curred, still lingered in the room. At last a 
 servant entered, and told her Ladyship that Sir 
 Fograss wished to speak to her and Mr. Edward. 
 The two left the room ; and in about ten minutes 
 the former returned ; she looked pale, and 
 seemed nervous and constrained in her manner. 
 The neighbouring guests who were invited to 
 dinner now arrived in quick succession. Lady 
 Fograss received them with her usual kindness ; 
 but there was an absence and restlessness in her 
 manner that was soon detected, and it speedily 
 communicated itself to those around, and all were 
 now certain that something uncomfortable had 
 befallen their kind host. In vain Lady Fograss 
 and her daughter tried to keep up the good 
 spirits of the company — their efforts were un- 
 availing ; and the latter was naturally anxious to 
 learn the misfortune that had happened. As ill 
 news always flies fast, the domestic who had 
 overheard his master s exclamation, carried it to 
 
SIR FOGRAyS FOG R ASS FOG R ASS. 
 
 45 
 
 the servants' hall, and from thence it had been 
 doled out to the rustics, whose amusements were 
 speedily forsaken, and rough, kindly sympathy 
 was expressed for the Baronet ; while surmises of 
 the most extravagant kind w^ent about respecting 
 the affair. The staying visitors departed to 
 dress with a vague, undefined feeling that some- 
 thing had gone wrong, and that the evening was 
 not likely to be quite so pleasant as they had 
 anticipated ; and notwithstanding the wish of the 
 family, that the harmony of the day should not 
 be disturbed, a cloud had settled on the house 
 which it was impossible to dispel. The weather, 
 too, outside, had become stormy; the snow fell 
 rapidly; dark clouds beclimmed the sky; and the 
 wind sighed mournfully amongst the branches of 
 Mie leafless trees. 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH THOMAS SKOKTON, KSQ. 
 
 If the morning of Christmas Dsiy, 18 — , \Yas 
 very fine and bright at Fograss Court, it was 
 almost as clear at Clapham Common, and the 
 sun reflected its red glare on the windows of 
 Mr. Thomas Snorton's house with nearly as 
 much brilliancy as on, the little stream we have 
 before mentioned. 
 
 The junior partner lived in an ugly brick box, 
 with a knob at the top of it, which knob con- 
 tained the dinner bell. Now, as the Snorton out- 
 domain only consisted of a garden one hundred 
 and twenty yards long, by sixty yards wide, 
 and as the family invariably dined at six o'clock 
 on every day of the year excepting Christmas 
 Day and Good Friday, and as they never had 
 more than two or three friends stopping with 
 
CHRISTMAS DAY WITH T. SNORTON, ESQ. 
 
CHKISTMAS DAY WITH THOMA« aNOR'JON, ESQ. 47 
 
 them at one time, and as these were never al- 
 lowed to do what they liked, but were dragged 
 about in the carriage " from morning to dinner- 
 time ; we never could make out the precise use 
 of the dinner bell; and can only give the two 
 following reasons for its existence: firstly, Fo- 
 grass Court possessed one, and secondly, the 
 Snorton's tolling made itself heard at a great 
 distance, thereby attracting or distracting the 
 attention of the way-farers, and the less osten- 
 tatious neighbours. 
 
 The brick box of Mr. Snorton was digni- 
 fied by the nam.e of *' The Lodge;" it presented 
 a very neat formal exterior, the windows were 
 painfully bright and clean, the Venetian blinds 
 were all let down to the same distance, and 
 the long window curtains looked as if they were 
 moulded into their forms, and must be broken 
 to alter the folds. The house was shut out 
 from the road by an iron railing and large car- 
 riage gates ; on the posts of the latter were two 
 bell-handles, labelled severally — " visitors " and 
 "servants;" — under the former some wag of a 
 doctor's boy had written, to be well shaken 
 
48 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 before taken," for which mscription he received 
 a severe shal<:ing from a policeman who had 
 seen him displaying his calligraphic powers. The 
 garden was a model of uncomfortable good order, 
 not a single loose stone obstructed the slippery- 
 gravel walks — not a dead leaf was ever suffered 
 to disfigure the smooth ground — the flower beds 
 were cut out with mathematical exactitude, and 
 even the flowers themselves were not permitted 
 to grow in vulgar luxuriousness, but were clip- 
 ped, tied, and trahied into genteel forms, and 
 a moderate quantity of blossoms. In fact, the 
 house and grounds, generally, looked as if they 
 were the property of a geometrician, so regular, 
 angular, and precise was every portion of them. 
 
 In-doors the same fastidious neatness was 
 noticeable : the hats in the hall were hung on 
 their pegs with care and attention ; not a spot of 
 dirt was visible on the brown holland stair-cover- 
 ing, and woe betide the unhappy person whose 
 shoes deposited the smallest particle of mud on 
 the floor-cloth of the hall. The dining-room 
 presented the same frozen appearance as the rest 
 ©f the house ; the articles of furniture looked set 
 
THOMAS SNOIITON, ESQ. 49 
 
 in their positions, with care and attention to the 
 relative distances between each. No one in 
 his senses would ever dare to sit astride one of 
 the chairs, or to seat himself oi\ them in any 
 way but a stiff, upright, proper position. The 
 black horse-hair couch looked as if it would prick 
 you with its very genteel bristles, if you were to 
 *' plump " down upon it. Although this room was 
 dignified by the title of dining-room, it partook 
 rather more of the nature of a parlour ; there was 
 a bookcase with glass doors (locked) contain- 
 ing a goodly assortment of well-bound books, 
 very new looking ; an upright pianoforte, and 
 a writing-table. The walls were painted and 
 adorned with prints, which, like the books, were 
 very handsomely bound ; a huge looking-glass 
 surmounted the fireplace, in a frame ornamented 
 with golden branches, leaves, and fruit of a plum 
 tree, which the Snortons regarded as a first-rate 
 specimen of decorative art. Two easy chairs, that 
 looked dreadfully uneasy, witl^ very stiff anti- 
 macassars over the backs of them, stood on each 
 side of the hearth. But the piece of furniture 
 was the mahogany dining-table ; a very splendid 
 
 E 
 
50 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 thing it was too, and the pride of the owner ; yet 
 the care and anxiety it engendered was so great, 
 that we should have preferred a common deal one 
 instead ; the foothoy rubbed it every day for 
 nearly an hour, with a villanous-smelling com- 
 pound of bees-wax and oil ; it was carefully 
 covered up at night, and as carefully looked over 
 every morning by the keen eyes of our junior 
 partner, who pounced upon the slightest scratch, 
 which was grieved and mourned over with as 
 much tenderness as if it had been a wound in 
 the breast of a human being. The table was the 
 constant terror and bad man " of young Master 
 Snorton, as that young gentleman, being afflicted 
 with the restlessness in his legs common to 
 children from about one to ten years of age, 
 was constantly administering unpleasant kicks on 
 the shining shins of the unoffending mahogany. 
 After performing this feat, he invariably grew 
 very red in the face, and looked as if he was 
 going to cry; upon which down bobbed Mr. 
 Snorton to examine the suffering leg; up he 
 came again with an explosive sigh, and a face of 
 anger, exclaiming, ''Another scratch I how dare 
 
THOMAS SNORTON, ESQ. 51 
 
 you, sir, kick your legs about in that stupid man- 
 ner ; do you think I buy tables at thirty guineas 
 tliat you may disfigure them, until they are not 
 worth twopence, eh?" Mrs. Snorton now opens 
 out at the young culprit : "How often have I told 
 you, sir, never to come to table with your thick 
 boots on ! go and change them this instant ; " the 
 other members of the family raise their voices in 
 ust indignation, and amidst a storm of unplea- 
 sant remarks, the Master S. hurries from the 
 room to change the offending boots for less 
 formidable " kickers." Thus is this piece of 
 furniture the terror of Master Snorton, and a 
 great anxiety to the rest of the family. 
 
 It must not be supposed, however, that the 
 brick-box is not possessed of a drawing-room ; 
 there is one up-stairs, and a very nice room it is 
 too, not useful, but decidedly ornamental ; in 
 fact, it looks more like a furniture warehouse 
 than a gentleman's room, and smells much of z 
 bees-wax and oil. It is a very melancholy-look-g ^ 
 ing place, as the blinds are always kept down tcfc ^ s 
 prevent the furniture being damaged by the sun'^ § f 
 rays. It contains chairs of every form andS 3 ^ 
 
52 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 pattern, lorie-dieu, lounging, heavy, light, elegant, 
 and ugly ; none, however, seem at all made for 
 use or comfort ; lots of little tables covered with 
 trumpery nicknacks; a very severe-looking steel 
 stove, so brightly polished that it seems positive 
 sacrilege to light a fire in it ; ottomans worked in 
 more than all the colours of the rainbow, by the 
 fair fingers of the Misses Snorton ; a grand piano- 
 forte, the keys of which, from being seldom 
 played on, are stiff and hard to strike ; a staring 
 wall-paper, that cuts the eye to pieces to look at ; 
 numerous prints in gorgeous frames, and a carpet 
 of a lively pattern," of violent-coloured flowers, 
 thrown over the floor at random. 
 
 The glories of this room are, how^ever, seldom 
 exposed, for brown holland hides whatever brown 
 holland can hide. On Christmas Day, however, 
 and other state occasions, the beauties are ex* 
 posed to view, to dazzle the eyes of the Snortons 
 with their own grandeur. 
 
 At a quarter past nine, on Christmas morning, 
 Mrs, Thomas Snorton and his family assembled 
 in the dining-room for breakfast. Mrs. Snorton 
 was a little lady, with a cold, impassible face, that 
 
THOMAS SNORTON, ESQ, 53 
 
 repulsed anything like a show of affection from 
 those she came in contact with ; her chief morn- 
 ing's amusement was an apron and a dusting- 
 brush, and with these weapons she travelled all 
 over the house, removing little specks of dust 
 from sly corners, and generally performing the 
 housemaid's work, much to that functionary's 
 amusement and satisfaction. The two Misses 
 Snorton, Martha and Jane, were young ladies 
 of the same freezing aspect as their mamma, very 
 genteel and very proper in their behaviour ; 
 vulgar was their pet word ; hearty laughing was 
 vulgar, large appetites were so vulgar, simple 
 amusements were shockingly vulgar; in short, 
 anything their genteel friends did not approve of 
 was vulgar. They had been brought up at one of 
 the numerous boarding-schools where cramming 
 accomplishments and languages is resorted to; 
 the two young ladies could speak French, Italian, 
 and German, though we would not vouch for a 
 native of any of the countries understanding 
 them. They could draw and paint, — from copies ; 
 they made wax flowers, worked elaborate patterns 
 in Berlin wool and crochet ; sang Italian duets 
 
54 
 
 CHKISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 most wonderfully, but with as much feeling as a 
 couple of marionettes, and executed brilliant 
 concerted pieces on the piano-forte with a mecha- 
 ical precision quite praiseworthy. 
 
 The eldest son, Mr. Thomas Snorton, junior, 
 was about eighteen years of age. He had chosen 
 the Church for a profession, as he thought that 
 a nice easy w^ay of getting a living, and the 
 family were genteelly delighted at being able to 
 say Thomas is at Oxford." So the young 
 gentleman had entered at Queen's, and was now 
 home after his second term ; he was somewhat 
 of a snob, but College life had already upset some 
 of his home gentility, and he was beginning to 
 entertain rather a contempt for the stuck-up 
 nonsense of his family. The little boy before 
 mentioned completes the group.* 
 
 " Mary, Mary," said Mr. Snorton, in sharp 
 quick tones to his wife, while at breakfast, *' look 
 here, and now just see the dust on this writing- 
 table : it's too bad of the servants." 
 
 " Dear me, dear mc, how very careless they 
 are !" rejoined his wife, and jumping up from the 
 table she produced tho duster from a mysterious 
 corner, and removed the offending specks. 
 
THOMAS SNORTON, ESQ. 55 
 
 What a fuss you make about a bit of dirt ! " 
 remarked Thomas, junior, in contempt ; " why at 
 Oxford we have lots of dirt," 
 
 How I should like to go to your house, then! " 
 sighed the fond mother, as she clutched her 
 duster in a determined manner. 
 
 Eooms, mother, not house : how one of our 
 men would laugh at your calling their cribs 
 houses ! " remonstrated the son. 
 
 " How vulgar you are, Thomas," said his sister 
 Martha ; talking of men, and cribs! " 
 
 Bother! what do you know about it? we 
 always call one another men," almost shouted 
 the young gentleman. 
 
 " This," said his irate father, " all comes of 
 your going into the stables, every morning ; I do 
 believe you are losing all ideas of gentility." 
 
 " And a good thing too," replied the son, for 
 hang me if any of you ever do as you like, you 
 are always afraid of gentility and vulgarity, until 
 at last you never enjoy yourselves at all." 
 
 Oh, Thomas, how can you say so! " exclaimed 
 the youngest sister, Jane, we — " 
 
 "Don't you talk, Jane, you pretend to be so 
 nice about eating, I know half the time you are 
 
56 
 
 CHEISTMAS PAY WITH 
 
 as hungry as a hunter, and would give anything 
 for a good chop or a steak." 
 
 Eeally I don't see, sir, what right you have to 
 talk in this way," said the father. Have you not a 
 home fit for a nobleman; a genteel home with 
 furniture that has cost me a fortune almost? " 
 
 "Yes, that's it, here are you at home," warmly 
 replied the son, " with a grand drawing-room that 
 you never use because youVe afraid of spoiling 
 the furniture, and you make as much fuss about 
 a house as if it was your own health ! " 
 
 How far this unpleasant dialogue might have 
 proceeded we cannot say, but Mr. Snorton's eye 
 happened to fall upon his younger son, James, 
 who had slid from his chair, and was hastily 
 trying to efface the marks of some butter he had 
 let fall on the carpet, by rubbing it in with his 
 foot. 
 
 ''What are you about, James?" asked Mr. 
 Snorton, gazing at the little boy severely. 
 
 *' Nothing, pa," stammered the child, getting 
 very red in the face. 
 
 ''Don't tell a story, sir," sharply replied his 
 papa, and pushing back his chair, he bobbed 
 down to look at the carpet. 
 
THOMAS SNORTON, ESQ. 57 
 
 Move your foot, James/' he continued. 
 No, I shan't," said the child resolutely. 
 
 " Shan't, sir ! how dare you say "^shan't' to me ? " 
 rejoined the angry parent, administering a sound 
 hox on the ears of the little fellow, which caused 
 him to step back, and disclosed to Mr. Snorton's 
 eyes, two round black spots on the carpet. 
 
 "Mary, look here, my dear! It's grease, two 
 spots of grease on our new carpet, and it's 
 scarcely a month old." 
 
 " Keally," replied the wife, coming to look at 
 the damage, that boy is only fit to live in a pig- 
 sty. Leave the room, James : in future you shall 
 breakfast in the nursery by yourself." 
 
 The little boy quitted the room, sobbing bit- 
 terly. Bells were now rung, servants came, cloths 
 and turpentine were brought, and after a great 
 deal of labour the obnoxious grease was removed, 
 and the master and the mistress resumed their 
 breakfast. 
 
 '* How very shocking of James to tell a story!" 
 piously exclaimed Miss Martha, as soon as order 
 was restored. 
 
 *' Yery, dear," added her sister. 
 
58 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 I do not see that at all," ejaculated brother 
 Tom. 
 
 " What, do you mean to defend a lie, eh ? " in- 
 quired the father fiercely. 
 
 Certainly not,'* replied the son, but I defend 
 the boy, because I believe you have taught him 
 to tell stories." 
 
 Thomas, how can you say anything so wicked 
 and vulgar?" said the mamma. 
 
 "Why, mother, it's all owing to this nonsense 
 and stuck-up gentility." 
 
 Stuck-up gentility, indeed!" ejaculated Miss 
 Snorton, firing up, "we are as good as anybody 
 in Clapham." 
 
 " I should think so," said the equally indig- 
 nant sister, " and we have Lady Brown, and 
 several very genteel people of great wealth to 
 visit us, that you know, Thomas." 
 
 " Bother! " was the reply, '* a set of city snobs ; 
 I tell you, really great people never trouble their 
 heads about appearances and gentility." 
 
 "I don't know what you mean, sir," said the 
 father in a great rage, " by coming home here 
 and insulting your family, when I am expending 
 
THOMAS SNOKTON, ESQ. 59 
 
 a fortune on your education. And then for you 
 to accuse your mother and myself of teachmg 
 your little brother to tell lies, I won't have it, sir. 
 I'll cut you off with a shilling, hang me if I don't." 
 
 My dear father, I do not want to quar- 
 rel, I merely stated the truth when I said 
 that the course of conduct you are pursuing 
 towards James, teaches the boy deception." 
 
 Very good, sir," replied the father, " what 
 next? go on, sir, go on." 
 
 I will go on. The boy knows as well as 
 possible that any accidental damage done by 
 him to this confounded furniture, is regarded 
 and punished as a fault ; no allowance is ever 
 made for him, so at last he endeavours to ward 
 off the punishment by telling a story and shield- 
 ing himself by a deception. I think, as we have 
 done our breakfast, I had better leave the room 
 until this unpleasantness has blown over. It 
 is certainly a very pretty way to spend a day 
 commonly set apart for rejoicing and happiness. 
 Besides, it's so vulgar to quarrel, isn't it, Martha?" 
 and without waiting for a reply to his sneer, the 
 young man left the room. 
 
60 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 As soon as the door was closed the Misses 
 Snorton and their mamma burst forth into a tor- 
 rent of " how vulgars ! " and what low conduct! " 
 and other terms of indignation. Mr. Snorton 
 said little, but we believe he felt in some measure 
 the truth of his son's remarks. Mrs. Snorton 
 shortly after quitted the room with her duster 
 and apron, but before going on her tour, she 
 went to the kitchen to consult with the cook re- 
 specting the plum-pudding. Of course it was to 
 be no vulgar mass of rotundity, but compressed 
 into a tin " shape," to suit the eyes and appetites 
 of gentility. 
 
 The two Misses Snorton then left to prepare 
 for church, Puseyism being one of their accom- 
 plishments. They went to a very smart church, 
 with a great deal of gilding, and red and blue 
 scriptural texts running all over it, and v/here 
 the service was beautifully *' intoned;" but the 
 great attraction was the incumbent, the Eev. 
 Auriculus Amalfy, who preached the most elegant 
 sermons, about saints of whose existence many 
 poor sinners had never heard at all ; and then 
 the dear man " wore his hair parted down the 
 
THOMAS SNOBTON, ESQ. 61 
 
 middle, and had a very sweet soft voice, and 
 beautifal white hands, with very pink almond 
 nails, so altogether it is not surprising that the 
 young ladies liked to listen to his mellifluous 
 discourses. Young Snorton, it must be confessed, 
 had no great veneration for the Eev. gentleman, 
 in fact he called him *' Betsy," much to his sisters' 
 indignation. Tom did not accompany them to 
 church, but locked himself in his room with his 
 little brother, and smoked and read Vanity 
 Fair:' 
 
 The head of the family was left alone in an 
 uncomfortable state of mind. He had nothing 
 to amuse him, he never read anything but the 
 city article in the Times," so he fell to admir- 
 ing his furniture, and after satisfying himself that 
 the two grease spots were not visible, began to 
 yawn, and wish that he had to go to business, 
 but fortunately an occupation turned up, for the 
 foot-boy entered to commence his table-rubbing, 
 and as the lad w^as new to the service, the opera- 
 tion was not performed very satisfactorily. 
 
 ** What are you about, John?" asked his 
 master, who had been watching the boy's awk- 
 ward attempts. 
 
62 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 Eubbing the table, please, sir," was the reply. 
 
 I'm not pleased," ejaculated the master. Is 
 that the way you do it ? why do you think it 's a 
 deal one? do you know that it cost me thirty 
 guineas ?' ' 
 
 Lor, sir, did it ? " 
 " Yes it did, and you are going the right way 
 to spoil it, with your stupid carelessness. Look 
 here now," said Snorton sharply, and taking the 
 cloth from the boy's hand. Now pay atten- 
 tion. See me, so, so, this is the way," he 
 continued, and forthwith commenced a lesson in 
 the art of rubbing a table, to his servant, who, 
 during the operation indulged in various panto- 
 mimic performances, behind his master's back 
 " There, now," said Mr. Snorton, after a little 
 labour, " that' s the way ; mind you do it properly 
 in future, or you shall be dismissed, mind that." 
 
 When the important operation w^as finished, 
 Mr. Snorton yawned again, and looked round the 
 room with a dreary, blank expression, and won- 
 dered what he should do next j then he thought 
 Christmas Day rather a mistake, and wished he 
 had brought home his private account book; 
 at last he determined to go for a walk, and was 
 
THOMAS SNOIITON, ESQ. 63 
 
 list leaving the room for that purpose, when he 
 heard a loud shout proceeding from the garden ; 
 he turned to the window to learn the cause, and 
 there, to his horror, he beheld on his grass plot, 
 behind his house, in sight of all his neighbours, 
 his two sons playing at leap-frog, and the eldest 
 smoking a short pipe ; out he rushed with a 
 purple face, and cried, with a choked utterance, 
 ''What, what! what does this mean, sir?" ad- 
 dressing his heir. 
 
 What^^'s the matter, governor? " was the cool 
 reply. 
 
 " Matter enough, here are you, on a Christmas 
 Day, playing at leap-frog and smoking a filthy 
 pipe in sight of Lady Brown's window; what 
 will she think of your vulgarity, eh sir? " 
 
 " I don't know, and T don't care for the old 
 woman," said the son, carelessly. 
 
 " But I do," answered the angry sire; "what 
 will people think of it? " 
 
 *' The old song again, set to a new accom- 
 paniment. It's always the bugbear gentility; 
 you not only make your own life a perpetual 
 series of strivings and uneasiness, but you stifle 
 
64 
 
 CHEISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 all good honest enjoyment for the sake of 
 keepmg up false appearances to other people, 
 that don't care twopence about you." 
 
 Very well, sir, I shall not forget this, sir," 
 said the father, "a pretty return you make me 
 for all the money I have expended on you.'* 
 
 Sir, I do not mind what you say to me, but 
 rather than have that gentility forced down my 
 throat, I would break stones in the road." 
 
 " You have a great deal of pride, certainly, to 
 disgrace the position of your family by talking 
 in that manner." 
 
 I have pride, father, real pride, not the base 
 sentiment that forces me to cringe before the 
 wealthy, or to sacrifice my own and my family's 
 comfort for the sake of keeping up a false position. 
 But do let us get over this day comfortably, to- 
 morrow we will talk as unpleasantly as you 
 please ; come along, James," he continued, let's 
 go for a walk." 
 
 The two left the garden, and Mr. Snorton 
 rushed in-doors. 
 
 ** Mary, Mary," he exclaimed, to his wife, **that 
 boy Thomas is the most ungrateful son in the 
 
THOMAS SNOETON, ESQ. 65 
 
 world : ho has not a spark of gentility in his whole 
 hody ; he has insulted me dreadfully. I never 
 spent such a day before, — I almost wish there 
 were no Christmas Days." 
 
 Well, dear, it is very wrong in Thomas, but 
 forget it for the present, and come and help me 
 uncover the drawing-room," replied his cold, 
 impassible better half. 
 
 " Ah, yes,'* said Mr. Snorton, delighted to have 
 something to do. 
 
 Up-stairs they went, and entered the room ; the 
 blinds were drawn up, and the furniture seemed 
 to wink and blink at the unusual quantity of 
 light that shone on it ; Mr. and Mrs. Snorton 
 removed brown^holland, and displayed dazzling 
 wool work and smart damask chair covers ; the 
 grand piano-forte was opened, the stamped table- 
 cloth placed on the centre table, the best-looking 
 visitors' cards were poked up to the top of the 
 card tray, and the Joneses and Smiths concealed 
 at the bottom; Miss Snorton 's albums, full of 
 weak inanities, were brought out for the amuse- 
 ment of the expected guests, and the fire was 
 laid, under strict superintendence, in the polished 
 
 F 
 
66 
 
 CHKISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 steel grate. After all was finished, the worthy 
 couple stood on the hearth-rug, and looked round 
 with feelings of gratified and expectant pride. 
 
 "I say, Mary," said Mr. Snorton, it looks 
 veiy handsome, doesn't it ? " 
 
 Yes, very, hut it 's much too good to use," 
 answered the wife with a sigh. 
 
 " Ah, that 's it ; hy jingo, it has cost me nearly 
 four hundred pounds to furnish, that it has," said 
 the husband, jingling his sovereigns and smiling 
 self-satisfied. 
 
 The domestic conversation was here interrupted 
 by a ring at the visitors' bell, hearing which the 
 gentleman hurriedly put a lighted match into 
 the grate, and descended to the dining-room to 
 receive any comers, and the lady ran up-stairs to 
 get rid of her apron and duster. The boy in 
 buttons answered the gate and let in the two 
 Misses Snorton from church. 
 
 " Ah, girls, is that only you ? I thought it was 
 a visitor," said the papa, as the two young ladies 
 entered the dining-room. 
 
 Oh, papa, we have had such a very impressive 
 sermon to-day," said the eldest. Wasn't it, 
 Jane?" 
 
THOMAS SNORTON, ESQ. 
 
 67 
 
 "Lovely, dear," was the delighted reply. 
 
 "Was it? and I have been having a sermon 
 from your brother at home !" said the papa. 
 
 "Have you? how very low Thomas seems to 
 have grown since he has been to Oxford : he has 
 lost all his sense of propriety," replied the eldest, 
 in a cold tone of voice. 
 
 " Yes, papa, it is very bad, I wish he would go 
 to hear Mr. Amalfy : it would do him good, he is 
 so very genteel and not in the least vulgar." 
 
 Mrs. Snorton now entered, followed by a 
 servant carrying a small lunch, consisting of a 
 little bit of chicken, a little sherry, and a few 
 cakes, in a very large silver basket ; there were 
 also plenty of silver articles for use, and plenty of 
 cut glass, but very little to eat; however, the 
 Snorton girls, it was generally believed, lived on 
 merry-thoughts of fowls, and half-glasses of wine- 
 and-water ; at least they seldom took more in 
 public, but a servant in the establishment once 
 said she found a portion of a large cake in a 
 private cupboard belonging to the youngest Miss 
 Snorton, but as this was a housemaid discharged 
 on having been caught with her fingers in the 
 
68 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 pickle glass, we cannot vouch for the truth of the 
 statement. 
 
 The little lunch" was going on very comfort- 
 ably, when suddenly a thick cloud of smoke 
 found its way into the room, and gradually 
 covered up the contents with a black fog. Up 
 jumped Mrs. Snorton, thinking the kitchen- 
 chimney was on fire, the two Misses Snorton gave 
 little genteel screams, and both suggested that 
 the house was in flames, but Mr. Snorton only 
 looked astonished for a moment, when, recollect- 
 ing the drawing-room fire, he started from the 
 table and rushed up-stairs, followed by the rest of 
 the family, and the party found, to their horror, 
 that the room was full of smoke. After the 
 windows and doors were all thrown open, Mr. 
 Snorton proceeded to rake out the fire, and upon 
 looking up the chimney to learn what caused 
 the annoyance, he discovered that the top of the 
 register stove had not been opened ; great was 
 the anger, and greater the confusion, and greater 
 still the lamentations over the idolized furniture. 
 Everybody dusted and cleaned, and at last the 
 room was cleared of the smoke and its attendant 
 
THOMAS SNOllTON, ESQ. 69 
 
 blacks, and the fire relighted in the chilly steel 
 grate. 
 
 It was now about two o'clock, and as the dinner 
 was to be ready at half-past three, the ladies 
 retired to dress, leaving their Pater-familias con- 
 tinuing his examination of the damage done by 
 the smoke. There he was, bustling about with 
 his little fidgety gait, a true type of his class, 
 ever trying to gain more wealth and position, and 
 remaining alone in the world, with too much 
 false pride to mix with his own equals, in taste 
 and habits, because he was better off, and not 
 admitted into the circles above him ; 'tis true he 
 visited with persons who, like himself, had risen 
 to a position which was after all new and cumber- 
 some to them ; they all were trying to do, or to pos- 
 sess something grander, and were constantly endea- 
 vouring to out-rival each other, consequently the 
 visits were only visits of display, each one trying 
 to dazzle every one else, by a parade of his own 
 little importance and consequence. 
 
 Mr. Snorton, having concluded his inspection, 
 was about to leave the room to dress, and had 
 just opened the door, when he beheld a dripping- 
 
70 CHRISTMAS DAY WrXH 
 
 wet apparition disappear into his son's room, 
 leaving dirty marks on the hitherto spotless stair- 
 covers. He hastened after it, and opening Mr. 
 Thomas's door, he found that young gentleman 
 hastily kicking off some very wet boots and ex- 
 ceedingly moist clothes. 
 
 *'What does this mean, sir?" the parent asked, 
 in astonishment. 
 
 Simply that I have tumbled into the w^ater," 
 replied Thomas, pitching a boot across the room 
 with violence. 
 
 Tumbled into the water ! then may I ask 
 what you were doing on the water ? " 
 
 " Skating." 
 
 " Where ? " 
 On the round pond." 
 
 " To-day ? " 
 
 " Of course ; you don't suppose I did it yester- 
 day, do you? My clothes would have been dry 
 now, if I had." 
 
 On Christmas Day, too, in sight of the 
 Browns coming home from church, no doubt ; 
 you have no respect, sir, for our position," almost 
 shouted the parent. 
 
THOMAS SNORTON, ESQ. 71 
 
 " No, not for your false one ; I tell you, I do 
 not want to make a fuss to-day ; but I assure you, 
 that when I am at home I shall do as I like, and 
 go where I like." 
 
 " Then, sir, if you persist in compromising 
 your family, you shall have no money from me, I 
 can tell you." 
 
 Very well, sir ; I have two hands, and I can 
 work," replied the son calmly, but firmly. 
 
 Mr. Snorton gazed fiercely at the young man, 
 who returned the gaze mildly but steadily. 
 
 You shall repent of this, sir!" ejaculated Mr. 
 Snorton, in a great rage. 
 
 " I regret it should have occurred on Christ- 
 mas Day ; but I tell you, I am sick and tired of 
 this genteel fuss, and wish, heartily I was away 
 from it all." 
 
 " We will see, sir," said the father ; and he 
 abruptly quitted the room. To tell the truth, he 
 was struck with the firmness of his son, and his 
 own heart told him that he was not now nearly 
 so happy as when he lived at Islington many, 
 many years ago, when he went to the pit of the 
 play, and had no fine furniture to worry him. 
 
CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 But this was only momentary ; he thought of his 
 carriage, his house, the sovereigns in his pocket, 
 — and self-pride, or rather the demon that had 
 usurped its name and place, came to his aid, and 
 he was once more Thomas Snorton, Esq., of The 
 Lodge, Clapham. 
 
 At half-past tw^o, Mr. and Mrs. Snorton and 
 their two daughters were assembled in the 
 drawing-room, with very blue noses and chilly 
 bodies. The fire burned up genteelly, and the 
 room was wretchedly cold. Five minutes after, 
 a one-horse fly drove up, and the boy in buttons 
 announced Mr., Mrs., and Miss Screwter," and 
 the guests entered. 
 
 *' Oh, dear ! how glad we are you have come ! " 
 said Martha Snorton to Miss Screwter, as soon 
 as the how-d'ye-doing was over ; " we have such 
 a little dear of an oratory to show you up-stairs." 
 
 Lor, dear ! an oratory ? how sweet ! " was the 
 ecstatic reply. 
 
 " Yes ; " said Jane ; do come and see it." 
 
 The three young ladies wound their arms 
 around each other's waists in a very delightful 
 manner, looking extremely like Graces in a state 
 
THOMAS SNOETON, ESQ. 7o 
 
 of gentility, as they tripped lightly from the 
 room. 
 
 "How the dear girls seem to love one another I" 
 said Mrs. Screwter to Mrs. Snorton. 
 
 "Oh, yes, do they not? I do believe your 
 Maria is taller than Jane," replied Mrs. Snorton, 
 making her visitor look gratified and delighted. 
 
 *' Come and take off your things in my room, 
 my dear Mrs. Screwter." 
 
 " Thank you, I will." 
 
 The two ladies moved off, leaving the two 
 gentlemen talking about Shares and Three-per- 
 Cents. The three young ladies went to the Misses 
 Snorton's bed-room, and saw the oratory, which 
 consisted of a piece of stained glass for the win- 
 dow, a little toilette-table, covered with white 
 muslin, on which stood a plaster figure of the 
 Virgin, and two or three prayer-books and Bibles, 
 revelling in crosses and red and gold illumina- 
 tions; it looked, altogether, a very nice little 
 comfortable place to be religious in, and fully 
 proved what pious young ladies the Misses Snor- 
 ton were. 
 
 " How pretty! " said Miss Screwter in raptures. 
 
74 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 Do you like it ? " asked Martha. 
 " Oh, very much," was the reply. 
 It's so genteel too, Lady Brown has one," 
 added Jane. 
 
 The two mammas now entered, and after Mrs. 
 Screwter had admired the oratory, the whole 
 party descended to the drawing room, and by the 
 time they had arrived, Miss Screwter had fully 
 made up her mind to have a little oratory fitted 
 up with candlesticks, and an oak devotional chair, 
 before the Snorton girls came to see her. 
 
 " Look here, Mary, my dear," exclaimed Mr. 
 Snorton, as the ladies passed in, *' here's this 
 chess table with a piece chipped off the leg." 
 
 How provoking ! " said Mrs. Screwter, sympa- 
 thetically. 
 
 Yes, it is," continued Mr. Snorton, " for I gave 
 ten guineas for it not more than six months ago." 
 
 " Servants are so careless," said his wife with a 
 sigh. 
 
 What a fuss they make about their furniture ! " 
 whispered Maria to her mamma, as they took their 
 seats. 
 
 " It's quite sickening, really," was the reply. 
 
THOMAS SNORTON, ESQ. 75 
 
 "What dreadful things omnibuses are to ride 
 in ! " continued the lady, addressing Mrs. Snorton, 
 apropos of nothing. 
 
 " Oh, shocking, they make my head ache 
 dreadfully," replied the lady addressed. 
 
 Ten years ago neither the Snortons nor the 
 Screwters kept carriages, and used to be con- 
 stantly riding about in omnibuses without feeling 
 any ill effects : but it is wonderful what a 
 difference keeping a carriage makes to one's 
 nerves. 
 
 " Buttons " now announced Mr. and Mrs. Jon- 
 son, and family, whereupon entered a large lady, 
 in an amplitude of satin, the Mamma Jonson ; a 
 fat mass of pomposity, the Papa Jonson ; two fair 
 girls with perked-up noses, corkscrew ringlets, 
 and stays that creaked when they moved, the 
 daughters Jonson ; and two fair, pink-eyed 
 youths, with lisps and flute cases to match, the 
 sons Jonson ; both the latter looked as if they 
 had fallen a prey to a melancholy passion of 
 a watery nature. This family was received 
 with considerable empressement by the Snor- 
 tons. The party was shortly completed by the 
 
76 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 arrival of six other persons, with nothing re- 
 markable about them, excepting a general stiff 
 gentility of manner, which corresponded with the 
 rest of the company, and by the entrance of Tom, 
 who seemed to regard all the people with a 
 rather visible contempt. 
 
 The talk for the first quarter of an hour was 
 pretty general : the elderly ladies chatted scandal, 
 and dress ; the papas politics, commerce, furniture, 
 and horses ; and the young gentlemen and 
 juvenile ladies congregated together, and gos 
 sipped weak nothings. The two Jonson youths 
 tried to talk to Thomas Snorton, but he horrified 
 them by his vulgarity, and shocked them by 
 Oxford stories, so that they afterwards told their 
 sisters they thought him a 'Svewy wude young 
 man." The common-place topics were soon 
 exhausted, and a silence ensued. 
 
 Come, my dears, can 't you sing something ? " 
 asked Mrs. Snorton of her daughters. 
 
 " I'm afraid not, mamma," replied Martha. 
 
 *' Oh, do try, there 's a dear," persuaded Miss 
 Screwter. 
 
 Well, Jane dear, shall we try ? " said Martha, 
 " but I'm so very hoarse." 
 
THOMAS SNORTON, ESQ. 77 
 
 "And I hav'nt sung for a long time," added 
 Jane, who, we know, was practising duets with 
 her sister, for three hours the day before. 
 
 " Oh, I am sure you will sing very nicely," 
 lisped the eldest son Jonson, smiling with mild 
 vacancy. 
 
 p '* How very stupid of mamma to ask us before 
 dinner," remarked one of the sisters to the other 
 in an under-tone, as they sat down to the piano 
 and sang and played with a great deal of vigour, 
 and very loud voices. 
 
 ** Beautiful ! " said Miss Screwter, when it was 
 finished, although she had been whispering just 
 before to her papa, that the Snorton girls sang 
 like ravens. 
 
 Thank you, thank you," echoed the company 
 in general, most of them looking as if they were 
 glad it was over. After a few more remarks on 
 singing, there was another pause. 
 
 Don 't you think you could play a quartet? " 
 suggested Mrs. Jonson to her children. 
 
 Oh no!" they all exclaimed, in horror at the 
 idea. 
 
 My lips are so dry," suggested the eldest son. 
 - And we haven't any music," said his brother 
 
78 CHIilSTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 " Oh yes, we have," said the papa triumphantlj, 
 " I brought it myself." 
 
 The two Misses Snorton requested them to try, 
 and after a great deal of pressing and tootling 
 of the flutes, the four commenced and went 
 through about ten pages, to the infinite gratifi- 
 cation of the company, especially to Tom Snor. 
 ton, who went to sleep very comfortably. When 
 it was over, every one was ''delighted," and 
 thanks poured in upon the performers from all 
 sides. But the excitement this called forth, soon 
 quieted down, and another long awful pause 
 ensued. The ideas of all the party were ex- 
 hausted, and every one felt that the room was 
 rather chilly. 
 
 " So, my dear," said Mr. Snorton, at last taking 
 up a card from the tray on the table, see Lady 
 Brown has called on you again." He looked 
 round the room with an air of triumph, to see 
 the effect of this remark. 
 
 *'Why, papa," said little James, "you know 
 you asked the same question when the Pikes 
 were here last week." 
 
 Mr. Snorton grew very red in the face, his wife 
 looked daggers at the little monster, and the rest 
 
THOMAS SNOKTON, ESQ. 79 
 
 of the company stored up the fact for future oc- 
 casions. Fortunately for all present, Buttons at 
 this moment announced dinner. 
 
 " Take my arm, ma'am," said Mr. Snorton to 
 Mrs. Jonson ; *' gentlemen, will you hand the 
 other ladies down?" After a little shuffling about 
 the party was sorted in pairs, and had just quitted 
 the room when a loud ring was heard at the 
 visitors' bell, and upon the junior partner reach- 
 ing the foot of the stairs, he was confronted by 
 Mr. John Tripples. 
 
 What do you want, sir ? " Snorton asked with 
 a lofty air. 
 
 ** To speak to you, if you please, instantly/' 
 replied Jack hurriedly. 
 
 Wait, sir, don't you see I'm engaged?" re- 
 joined Snorton in a dignified tone, and passing 
 by Tripples he entered the dining-room. 
 
 " Excuse me, will you, please?" Snorton said to 
 his guests ; " you see I have not even Christmas 
 Day free from business : that Scandinavian loan 
 again, I suppose." He quitted the room. 
 
 **Well, sir, what do you want, eh?" he said 
 to Jack. 
 
 Merely to tell you, sir — " Jack brought his ear 
 
80 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 close to Mr. Snorton's and ^Yhispe^ed a few 
 words : the junior partner turned pale and clung 
 to the bannisters for support. 
 
 What is to be done ? " he inquired. 
 
 *'Why sir, the only thing is for you to go 
 down to Sir Fograss at once." 
 
 " I will, yes, that 's the only course to pursue," 
 was the reply, and Mr. Snorton paused a moment 
 to collect his scattered thoughts. 
 
 " Here, John," he shouted sharply to Buttons, 
 *' tell your mistress I wish to see her." The boy 
 entered the dining-room, and Mrs. Snorton 
 came out. 
 
 "What is the matter, my dear?" said she. 
 
 *' Nothing, nothing, but business of a particular 
 nature requires me to go down to Fograss 
 Court at once : you must excuse my absence to 
 our visitors. I shall, perhaps, be back to-night ;" 
 and without saying another word he wished his 
 astonished wife good-bye and quitted the house 
 in Jack's cab, hiirrying back to the hall for his 
 hat and great coat, which in the excitement of 
 the moment he had nearly started without. 
 
 The two were now driven rapidly towards 
 
THOMAS SNORTON, ESQ. 81 
 
 the London Bridge terminus : they conversed 
 earnestly throughout the ride, and when they 
 reached the station Mr. Snorton found a train 
 just about to depart ; he took a first-class 
 ticket, and after saying a few final words to 
 Jack entered the carriage, and was speedily being 
 rapidly borne towards Fograss Court, and as he 
 was whirled along, the black clouds gradually 
 overcast the sky, and the wind made a plain- 
 tive Eolian harp of the mves of the electric 
 telegraph. 
 
CHAPTEE IV. 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH JACK TRIPPLES. 
 
 Me. John Tripples lived in a little court very 
 near St. Clement's church, in the Strand, and 
 not a hundred yards from the Temple ; he had 
 resided in his present lodgings for some time 
 past, and his landlady had never once regretted 
 her fortune at having Jack for a tenant. It is 
 true that he was not very regular in his hours of 
 coming home, but he paid like clock-work, did 
 not give much trouble, and was very kind to her 
 children. 
 
 We have said that Jack was fast atid foolish, 
 but these faults w^ere owing more to youth and an 
 extreme excitability of temperament, than the 
 fruits of a really vicious disposition. Under all 
 liis apparent carelessness and folly, Jack really 
 possessed a good heart and a well-formed mind. 
 
CHRISTMAS DAY WITH JACK TRIPPLES. 
 
CHRISTMAS DAY WITH JACK TRIPPLES. 
 
 83 
 
 When young, he was left to the sole guidance of 
 a weak, fond mother: a woman of a gentle nature, 
 and an affection for her son amounting to idol- 
 atry; what wonder, then, if Jack soon managed 
 to obtain his own way in most cases, and 
 became a small despot for a time ? But his con- 
 science always reminded him of his wilful con- 
 duct, and called up many a repentant sigh and 
 good resolve for the future. Poverty forced Jack 
 into the world early in life ; he was placed in Sir 
 Fograss's bank; the worthy Baronet having known 
 his father, a poor Curate, who was worked to 
 death for ninety pounds a-year, received the 
 son for the sake of the parent. In business, 
 Tripples progressed rapidly; he was quick and 
 obliging, and speedily gained the esteem of 
 those around him, but unfortunately, as must be 
 the case in all large mercantile houses, some of 
 the clerks were **hail fellows well met," young 
 harum scarum fast muffs, who were anxious to 
 secure Jack as a companion. The glittering 
 baits they offered were swallowed, and Tripples' 
 good humour, ready wit, and jovial fun, soon 
 established his reputation in this set. Jack thus 
 
84 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 early gained experience of a life of recklessness. 
 But already liad Jack begun to pall in these 
 amusements; be was beginning to think that 
 chaffing a policeman was not grand; that 
 indulging in slang phrases and singing senseless 
 songs was not real fun; that shaking hands 
 with prize fighters and singers at low taverns 
 was not establishing desirable acquaintanceships. 
 In short, he had found out that real pleasure 
 does not consist in mad, stupid excitement, and 
 J ack was now yearning for evenings of quiet, 
 natural enjoyment, with friends whose com- 
 panionship is not bought merely by glasses of 
 brandy and w^ater, but by the sympathies of the 
 heart and the mind. Tripples had found all 
 this out, simply because he was getting older 
 and wiser ; the excitement had ceased, and Jack 
 now perceived that the deity he had been 
 worshipping was a dirty doll, dressed out in 
 glaring tinsel and trumpery finery ; he was 
 awake now, and he discovered that all the boon 
 companions " he went about with " were mere 
 butterflies, who, while the sun shone on him, 
 fluttered their gaudy wings and danced around 
 
JACK TRIPPLES. 
 
 85 
 
 him, but as soon as a cloud settled over him, 
 were quite prepared to fly away as if from 
 a plague, and hasten elsewhere to seek some 
 one more verdant and profitable to feed on. 
 Tripples had already seen something of the 
 world, and his mind had now shaken off its 
 torpor, and he looked around for one whom he 
 could clasp by the hand, and call by the sacred 
 name of friend. 
 
 Such v/as Mr. John Tripples on the morning 
 of that Christmas we are writing of; he got up 
 about ten and entered into his small sitting-room. 
 
 " Good morning, sir," said Mrs. Chuxem, 
 Jack's landlady, a little woman, who was bustling 
 about the room, with a good-humoured, smutty 
 face, a merry Christmas and a happy New Year 
 to you, sir." 
 
 " Thank you, Mrs. Chuxem, the same to you^ 
 and many of them," replied Jack. 
 
 " I suppose, sir, you don't dine at home to- 
 day," added Mrs. Chuxem. "You gentlefolk has 
 always somewhere to go on these kind of days, 
 and me and my family are going to dine with 
 my sister, at Wapping. 
 
86 
 
 CHBTSTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 I wish you a pleasant day, I'm sure," said 
 Jack, good humouredly, but as for me, the only 
 invitation I am likely to receive is one to dine 
 with Duke Humphrey." 
 
 Lor now, sir," observed Mrs. Chuxem, with 
 astonishment, didn't think you visited with 
 Buch like grand folk." 
 
 Oh, I assure you he 's a most hospitable 
 nobleman," continued Jack, laughing. 
 
 Well, sir, I am sure I wishes you a pleasant 
 day," said Mrs. Chuxem ; I suppose you won't 
 want anything else, sir? " 
 
 Nothing, thank you," replied Jack. 
 " Good day, sir," added the little woman, and 
 she left the room with increased awe and respect 
 for Jack, and when she got down stairs she told 
 the name of the nobleman he was going to dine 
 with to her curious family, and on the morrow 
 it was all down the court how Mr. Tripples dined 
 with a nobleman " on Christmas Day, to the 
 great credit of his reputation in the little 
 territory. 
 
 It was true that Jack had received no in- 
 vitation to dinner on Christmas Day, and, 
 
JACK TRIPPLES. b7 
 
 notwithstanding his gayness in talking about 
 it to Mrs. Chuxem, he felt lonely thereat, and 
 also melancholy when he thought of the romp- 
 ing and fun he enjoyed when a boy, at his 
 home in Devonshire; he remembered, too, a 
 Christmas Day he had once spent at Fograss 
 Court, and all the liveliness and gaiety rose up 
 before him ; but as Sir Fograss afterwards 
 discovered that he was falling into bad habits 
 and mixing too freely with dangerous com- 
 panions, the invitation was never repeated. 
 The married and settled clerks in the Bank 
 refrained from asking Jack to their houses, 
 from the same cause ; in fact it was a complete 
 exemplification of the old adage, give a dog 
 a bad name," &c. 
 
 So, as we said, Jack was lonely, and the 
 feeling materially interfered with his appetite. 
 At breakfast he thought that the day was one 
 of pleasure and social intercourse, and of gay, 
 jovial meetings, and yet he was alone, a solitary 
 devil, without a friend's house to put his nose 
 into ; so he played with his knife and fork, and 
 bacon, and coffee, then regarded the one plate, 
 
88 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 one cup, one iaiife, and one fork, with a savage 
 expression ; and then he longed to ask some 
 one for another cup of coffee, but having no 
 one, asked himself out loud, and was disgusted 
 at his o wn voice answering, " if you please ;" 
 at that moment he would have given anything 
 for a friend to bear him company, or even a cat 
 or a dog to talk to. 
 
 After having finished his meal, he took up 
 a book and tried to read, but the pages seemed 
 full of the words, Christmas Day, Christmas 
 fun, Christmas dinner," so he pitched it from 
 him in a rage. Then he poked the fire, and 
 sought to trace something in the fantastic forms 
 of the bright coals, but all he could make out 
 was a large room full of company, very merry 
 and jolly, whilst what seemed to be a figure of 
 himself stood outside the door, and was not 
 allowed to enter to participate in the fun. His 
 eye now fell upon a newspaper; he took it up 
 determined to read accounts of murders or other 
 horrors, but the first article he pitched upon was 
 headed "Approaching Christmas Festivities;" 
 he dashed the paper to the floor, and paced 
 
JACK TKIPPLES. 
 
 89 
 
 the room with hasty strides, feeling perfectly 
 certain that there was a general conspiracy in 
 the world to make him feel his lonely position. 
 At length he lit his pipe, and cast himself into 
 a chair, and was gradually sinking into repose, 
 under the soothing influence of tohacco, when 
 up through the air rose the sound of Christmas 
 bells, gushing forth in a merry ding dong dell, 
 ding dong dell, which upset him completely, and 
 to add to his discomfort his eye at that moment 
 happened to fall upon some pieces of holly 
 Mrs. Chuxem had stuck over his looking-glass. 
 What a mockery they seemed to him — Christmas 
 festivity, indeed ! Christmas loneliness ! he 
 pulled them down, pitched them into the fire, 
 and laughed fiercely as they were burnt. 
 
 " Ah," he exclaimed aloud, in a towering pas- 
 sion, " That woman put them there to insult 
 me, like her impudence ; I '11 give her warning 
 at once, hang me if I don't." 
 
 He rushed to ring the bell, but ere he had 
 reached it, he heard the street-door bang to, 
 and, throwing up the window, saw Mrs. Chuxem 
 in her very smartest attire, accompanied by 
 
90 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 the little Chuxems, also very fine, proceeding 
 down the court, with laughter and happiness 
 around them ; and as he saw them disappear 
 round the corner, Jack would have given any- 
 thing to make one of the humhle, joyous party. 
 
 It was fine out of doors, and although the wind 
 was piercingly cold, Tripples still kept the window 
 open, smoking his pipe in moody desolation, and 
 with an apparent determination to lay himself up 
 with a bad cold ; suddenly he thought he would 
 amuse himself and astonish the passers by with 
 smoke-filled soap bubbles ; he prepared his imple- 
 ments and commenced, but although the bubbles 
 were well filled, and floated gracefully to the 
 ground, and there burst, letting tiny volumes of 
 smoke escape, every one was too much intent 
 upon his own thoughts to heed them, so, after a 
 short trial. Jack desisted in despair, and shutting 
 down the window, fell into a reverie, feeling per- 
 fectly convinced that he was the only person alone 
 on Christmas Day, every one else had somewhere 
 to go ; he paced the room with quick short 
 strides ; he next went to his door to listen if there 
 was any one besides himself in the house, but a 
 
.TACK TBIPPLES. 
 
 91 
 
 perfect silence reigned ; he shouted down staks, 
 but the echo of his own voice mocked him in 
 reply. He returned to his room, and began walking 
 backwards and forwards again; at last the dreadful 
 feeling of loneliness produced such a nervous 
 iritability that he could bear it no longer, so he 
 plunged into his great coat, and banging on his 
 hat, rushed dow^n stairs, out of doors, and 
 speedily quitted the quiet court for the bustling 
 Strand. 
 
 The body may walk through crowded 
 streets and yet the mind feel lonely, so it was 
 with Jack; he was surrounded by hundreds of 
 his fellow-creatures, but he felt that he was 
 a solitary unconnected being. The Strand 
 was unusually lively, cabs rattled along with 
 rapidity, wending their way as cabs always do on 
 Christmas Days, to savage out-regions, carrying 
 happy living loads to beef and pudding ; omni- 
 buses rolled along, taking smiling friends and 
 relatives to other smiling friends and relatives. 
 The Church doors had notices up about Christmas 
 distributions of food to the poor, but Jack felt 
 that there was no one to bestow a scrap of 
 
92 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 sympathy on him. Gigantic posters on the walls 
 told of Christmas sociabilities : Parents were 
 requested, in every coloured letters, to take their 
 children to all sorts of amusements, from the 
 scientific Polytechnic to the unscientific Panto- 
 mime. Insinuating tradespeople headed their 
 bills with Christmas Presents w^eekly news- 
 papers told of Christmas double numbers, and 
 booksellers threw out baits for buyers of Christmas 
 Books. It was every where, Christmas! Christmas! 
 and Christmas ! and Jack had got quite enough 
 of it, so he turned into a little quiet street to 
 avoid the persecuting reminders of his lone- 
 liness; but even in the narrowest and quietest 
 by-ways he was destined to be vexed by it, for 
 about three yards down the street into which he 
 had plunged, he was arrested by a flaming 
 pictorial placard, consisting of a highly-coloured 
 engraving, representing a very fat merry gentle- 
 man, an equally fat merry lady, and a number of 
 almost equally fat chirping children sitting round 
 a dinner table, all laughing, and showing very 
 large white tusks, with a plump servant' bringing 
 in a very large plum pudding, at the enormous 
 
JACK TRil^PLES. 
 
 D3 
 
 size of which the aforesaid fat gentleman seemed 
 to be expressing his sm^prise to his wife, to 
 which she was, to all appearance, replying in a 
 triumphant manner, that the great size was all 
 owing to her selling old rags to Jinks, who gives 
 a half-penny a pound more for them than any 
 other rag merchant in London, at which the fat 
 gentleman is very well satisfied, and lauds his 
 wife's economy, and all parties seem perfectly 
 contented with themselves, the world in general, 
 and this special rag dealer in particular. 
 
 We are sorry to say that Jack did not ap- 
 preciate this work of art, but muttering some 
 
 thing about the ^, left the street and 
 
 returned to the Strand. Every thing around him 
 made him feel his solitary position. Crowds of 
 people hurried along with merry, good-humoured 
 faces ; all but Jack seemed to have some settled 
 plan in view ; even solitary walkers, like himself, 
 went briskly along, with faces which plainly said, 
 " I am going out to dinner, and I mean to have 
 a pleasant day of it." An omnibus passed, and 
 a fellow-clerk nodded, and smiled at Jack, and 
 pointed him out to a nice pretty girl he had with 
 
CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 him, and they both smiled radiantly, which made 
 Tripples very savage. 
 
 He would have given anything for the shops 
 to be open, so that he might look into them, 
 and take his eyes off the pleasing crowd, but 
 even the chemists had shut up, and when he 
 did reach one with the shutters down from the 
 plate glass of the door all he saw was a reflected 
 glimpse of his own miserable face, making him 
 more wretched than ever. 
 
 It was now about one o'clock ; respectable 
 tradespeople and shopmen looked at their 
 watches, and hurried towards their homes — poor 
 people surrounded by little chubby children, 
 escorted the Christmas dinner home with great 
 glee and much laughter. Jack didn't feel in the 
 least hungry, but he thought that dinner would 
 lielp to pass away the time, and he was turning 
 into a dining place when he discovered that he had 
 left his purse at home. He was hastening back 
 to fetch it, when a man and a little girl overtook 
 him, and the former touched his hat as he passed. 
 It was the porter, Poundaweek, and his daughter. 
 Jack turned, for he felt an almost irresistible 
 desire to exchange a few khid words with them. 
 
K TEIPPLES. 
 
 95 
 
 *'Good morning," said Jack, as he came up 
 with them. 
 
 " I wish you a good day, sir," said Poundaweek, 
 with dignity ; " I also wish you, as the saying 
 goes, sir, a merry Christmas." 
 
 The words jarred upon Jack's ears. 
 
 apprehend, sir, that you intend taking 
 your festive meal with friends ? " 
 
 "No," replied Jack, almost fiercely, *' I am 
 alone, every one else seems going somewhere 
 but myself, — I have no where to go to." 
 
 Indeed sir! well, that surprises me," said 
 Poundaweek. *' Now, sir, me and my family are 
 going to dine at home with my cousins, and we 
 mean to be very merry." 
 
 Jack was tempted to throttle the man for the 
 remark. 
 
 " I shall dine at my usual place, of course I 
 shall, why shouldn't I, eh ? " added Jack, glaring 
 furiously at the pair. 
 
 *' I am sure, sir, that is beyond my personal 
 comprehension," replied Poundaweek. 
 
 *' Oh, I'll have a glorious day of it, I shall dine 
 alone, so merry, so sociable," said Jack, with 
 
96 
 
 CIUllSTAIAS DAY WITH 
 
 passionate utterance, and making use of a 
 bi-syllabic expression which we will not record. 
 
 " Sorry to hear you have no one to dine with, 
 I can assure you, sir," added Poundaweek; ''I 
 suppose you intend to take your meals at the 
 usual place in Fleet Street?" 
 
 " Yes, in solitary state," said Jack, melancholily ; 
 
 I shall go at once, for I must do something to 
 get through this stupid day." 
 
 By this time they had arrived at the corner of 
 Jack's court, and wishing each other good day,'* 
 the latter turned down to his home. 
 
 Home ! " said Jack to himself, ''Home, what 
 a mockery of the name ! a miserable, cold, inhos - 
 pitable room, devoid of every sort of comfort. 
 I'll go to Australia to-morrow, I'll not stop in this 
 large city in solitude ! hang me if I do." 
 
 He opened the door, and closed it with a 
 bang : the house was empty, and his footsteps 
 produced an echo as he slowly ascended the stairs 
 to his second floor ; the fire in his room had gone 
 out, and the apartment was cold and dreary ; 
 Jack cast himself into a chair and sat freezing 
 and meditating foi? half-an-hour ; at last he slowly 
 rose, waslied himself in icy water, and wWh a 
 
JACK TEIPPLES. 
 
 97 
 
 very blue nose, and frozen hands, pulled on his 
 great coat, and sauntered forth to enjoy his lonely 
 meal. 
 
 The streets vrere now a little clearer; from 
 gratings in the pavement ascended savoury odours, 
 and occasionally a hurst of laughter broke upon 
 Tripples' ears. At last he reached the tavern 
 where he usually dined, and turned in. The 
 coffee room was deserted, the waiters even were 
 absent, and the fire in the grate smouldered 
 away without throwing out a particle of heat. 
 
 Here's a nice cheerful place to dine at on a 
 Christmas Day ! " said Jack, as he rang the bell 
 violently. A waiter entered, with a very red face, 
 and a mouth full of dinner. 
 Dinner," said Jack, sharply. 
 
 " Dinner, sir ? " asked the waiter surprised. 
 Well, I suppose I may dine somewhere ! '* 
 exclaimed Jack, fiercely, you've no objection to 
 that, have you, eh ? '* 
 
 ** Oh, no, sir, none in the least," replied the 
 waiter. 
 
 "Don't be impudent," almost shouted Jack; 
 ** what have you got ? '* 
 
 H 
 
98 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 *'Why, you see, sir," answered the waiter, 
 quite confidentially, we don't cook much 
 to-day, sir; we're uncommon flat a- Christmas- 
 days, and such like ; but we Ve a fine turkey in 
 cut." 
 
 Well, then, bring me some." 
 
 " Yes, sir ; and a little bread-sauce, and a nice 
 broccoli and potato, eh, sir ?" 
 
 *^ Yes, yes; anything, of course," replied Jack, 
 petulantly. 
 
 The waiter, wondering much at Jack's manner, 
 put some coals on the fire, whisked an imaginary 
 crumb off a table-cloth, and quitted the room. 
 Our hero sat before the fire, watching it intently ; 
 the monotonous ticking of an old clock alone 
 broke the silence. After a while Jack got calmer ; 
 he remembered that it was his own folly alone 
 that left him so desolate, and he resolved to 
 amend his ways for the future. Eather lighter 
 in heart, he waited patiently for his dinner. 
 At length he recollected that an old doctor, a 
 family friend, now living in London, had, two 
 years back, given him a general invitation for 
 Christmas Days, which Tripples had quite for- 
 
JACK TIUPPLES. 
 
 99 
 
 gotten until now. Here Avas " corn in Egypt."' 
 After all, then, he should be able to finish the even- 
 ing in a decent house, and in a sociable manner. 
 All his disgust at Christmas Day vanished, and 
 he revoked his determination about going to 
 Australia. Upon this joyous discovery Jack 
 indulged in a verse of a soiig, poked the fire in 
 the ribs, and nodded and winked at himself in 
 the dusty glass over the fire-place ; and, when 
 the waiter entered -with the dinner, Jack 
 astonished him by performing an operatic evolu- 
 tion, and slapping him on the back, to the 
 material derangement of that worthy's breathing 
 organs. 
 
 " Now, sir, — don't," said the waiter. 
 
 "No, I won't," replied Jack, laughing. 
 
 " What would you like to drink, sir ? " 
 
 "Bring me a pint of sherry, and have some 
 punch ready for after dinner; I mean to be 
 merry to-day. Hurrah ! " 
 
 The waiter left the room astonished at the 
 change in Jack's manner, and having not a few 
 doubts respecting his sanity. Tripples, after 
 two or three gyrations, nodded familiarly to an 
 
100 
 
 CHRISTMAS BAY WITH 
 
 old gentleman going by, thereby puzzling him 
 exceedingly; and with a happy, jolly-looking 
 face„ sat down to the table. As soon as the 
 ♦steam of the dinner ascended to his nostrils, he 
 discovered that he was very hungry, or, as he 
 himself expressed it, "tremendously hungry.'* 
 Deliberately he helped himself to turkey ; care- 
 fully did he deposit the various adjuncts on the 
 plate, and he was just adding some salt, when a 
 person ^'an past the window. 
 
 " Somebody in a hurry," said Jack, as he put 
 ♦a piece of tttrkey on his fork, and was about to 
 raise it to his mouth, when the waiter, who en- 
 tered the room with the sherry, was nearly over- 
 turned by the 'flying entrance of Poundaweek. 
 
 ** Hallo, Poundaweek!" exclaimed Jack, in 
 •bewilderment; **what the deuce brings you 
 here in such ei hurry ? 
 
 The porter came close to Jack, and whispered 
 a few words in his ear, and Tripples let fall his 
 iknife and fork. 
 
 ^*The devil:"' said Jack, starting from his 
 *seat ; but are you sure, man ? " 
 
 Certain, sir ; I have been with the " (here 
 
 Poundaweek dropped his voice again to a whisper 
 
JACK TKIPPLES. 
 
 101 
 
 as he observed the waiter was listening intently »)r 
 "The three black ones?'' inquired Jackv in a 
 tremulous voice. 
 
 Yes, sir," replied Poundaweek. 
 "WeU, now, what is to be done?'" asked- 
 Tripples, with an amazed air, and a desponding' 
 shake of the head. 
 
 They tell me down there/* answerec( Pound- 
 aweek, pointing towards the city, that you had 
 better go to Mr. Snorton's at once^ sir." 
 
 Of course, of course ; that what I must 
 do," said Jack, in a hurried voice. *^Here,. 
 waiter," he added> shall not want my dinner 
 — Ill pay to-morrow;" and putting on his great 
 coat, he went out with Poundaweek ; leaving 
 the waiter in a great state of bewilderment and 
 ungratified curiosity. He, however, relieved hit 
 mind by informing himself, ** That that 'ere was 
 a pretty go;" consoled himself by drinking two 
 glasses of Jack's sherry, and then removed the 
 untasted dinner. 
 
 As soon as Poundaweek and Tripples gained the 
 street, the latter hailed the first Hansom" they 
 met, and, after agreeing to meet the former in 
 the City, he desired the man to drive to Clapham 
 
102 CliEISTMAS DAY WITH JACK TRIPPLES. 
 
 The cab rattled over Blaekfriars-Bridge, bearing 
 Jack, looking perplexed and feeling dolefuL The 
 Elephant and Castle was soon gained ; the turn- 
 pike-gate at Kennington was paid and cleared; 
 and at about three he pulled up the cab at The 
 Lodge. We have already described his inter- 
 view with the junior partner, and how" the two 
 proceeded to the London Bridge Station. 
 
 As soon as Mr. Snorton left the cab, Tripples 
 dejsired the man to proceed to the Bank ; and as 
 he drove across London Bridge, Jack looked 
 down the Pool, and saw the bank of black clouds 
 extending sluggishly along the east, while the 
 wind raised a chilly ripple on the river, whose 
 dark waters streamed along in muddy cheerless- 
 ness. 
 
CHRISTMAS DAY WITH TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK. 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK. 
 
 We have taken our readers to the ground - 
 floor at Fograss Court, to the first at Snorton's 
 House, and to the second in Jack's lodgings 
 near the Temple ; we have now to carry them 
 to the third-floor in a little street, very close to 
 Goodman's Fields, the residence of Mr. Timothy 
 Poundaweek. 
 
 The two rooms occupied by the head porter 
 were at the top of a large old fashioned house, 
 once, perhaps, the residence of wealth, but now 
 let out at trifling rents, in a series of apartments, 
 to persons of Poundaweek's class. The sitting- 
 room was very large and low-roofed, the walls 
 were* whitewashed, and ornamented here and 
 there with cheap coloured varnished prints, a 
 Christmas piece, the production of Timothy when 
 
104 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 a boy, several likenesses of the family cut out 
 in black paper by an itinerant artist, and all 
 so much alike that visitors generally mistook the 
 portrait of the youngest son, a child of five years 
 of age for the father, and lastly, a water-colour 
 drawing of Poundaweek's parent as beadle, re- 
 splendent in clerical serving livery, grasping the 
 staff of office, and standing in an attitude cal- 
 culated to strike awe into the breasts of charity- 
 boys and free-seat juvenile attendants. The 
 room contained several deal chairs, scrubbed very 
 white, two old mahogany tables, and three flower- 
 pots of sickly geraniums or rather crooked sticks, 
 that in the summer put out three or four leaves 
 each, and a couple of buds which never burst 
 into flower. 
 
 Poundaweek's family consisted of his wife and 
 five children. The former was a florid, stout 
 woman, very neat, industrious, and irritable, 
 with a most determined passion for scrubbing, — 
 that seemed her mission; she was never easy 
 unless cleaning or scouring, and the indulgence 
 of this passion kept the floor of the room in a 
 perpetual state of damp cleanliness. Master 
 
TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK, 
 
 1G5 
 
 Timothy Poundaweek, the eldest son, was in a 
 a charity-school. He was a true London boy, 
 and caused his father much trouble ; his clothes 
 never seemed large enough for him, and the 
 trousers had an obstinate disinclination to meet 
 either his boots or his jacket. He was an excel- 
 lent whistler^ and a regular dabster at all 
 games of chance. His pockets contained perfect 
 treasures, consisting of buttons, dumps, odd 
 pieces of string, wonderful old knives, and a pair 
 of the largest bones in the parish. If sent on an 
 errand, it was quite uncertain when he would 
 return, as holding horses, assisting in rows, an- 
 noying watchmakers at their work by flattening 
 his nose against the windows and going through 
 a series of pantomimic signs, accompanying 
 street organs with his bones, doing wheels by 
 the side of omnibuses, chaffing genteel swells by 
 politely inquiring as to who 's their tailor, and 
 terrifing old ladies by yelling horribly when they 
 crossed the roads, varied the monotony of his 
 procedure, and increased the time of his absence. 
 The remaining four children were in no way 
 different from others of their class ; they had a 
 
106 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 wholesome horror of washing and nose-wdping, and 
 thought Iheir mother a perfect tyrant for insisting 
 upon their performing those needless operations ; 
 they delighted in playing with mud and dirt, 
 always formed an amused, if not a paying portion 
 of the audience to Punch and bounding street 
 acrobats, and the second boy was constantly 
 enlivening home with popular street chants and 
 imitations of niggers. 
 
 It was ten o'clock on Christmas morning. 
 Breakfast had long been finished. The eldest 
 boy had gone to school and church, furnished 
 with a few halfpence given him by his father, 
 and from which he had determined to extract 
 a little amusement during the sermon; the tw^o 
 other boys had furtively stolen forth to play in 
 the streets; the two girls were assisting their 
 mother in the domestic affairs, whilst Poundaweek 
 was reading a book. 
 
 " Drat yer, children," exclaimed Mrs. Pound- 
 aweek, with a scarlet face, and a heavy saucepan 
 of water in her hands, " yer allays in the way. 
 Murry Hann, you take your fingers out of them 
 plums. I'll give yer a slap when I catch yer. 
 
TIMOTLIY rOUNDAWEEK. 
 
 107 
 
 Now you Mariar, are you a-washing them 
 greens ? " 
 
 Now children," said Poundaweek, looking 
 up from his book. *'mind what your mother 
 says. I always minded what my mother said." 
 
 "Yes, father," said both children at once. 
 
 " What's the good of you a-saying. Yes, father, 
 if you don't mind what's a-said to yer?" exclaimed 
 Mrs. Poundaweek. 
 
 " No, mother," said Murry Hann ; upon which 
 remark Mrs. Poundaweek made a dash at her, 
 and, administering a sound box on the ears, 
 sent the unfortunate Murry Hann off crying. 
 
 Mrs. Poundaweek certainly was in her glory ; 
 she had a mighty deal of cooking to do, a large 
 quantity of cleaning, and a great mass of 
 important business to transact. She bustled 
 here and there, scolded the children, thumped 
 the fire, put on saucepans which let out very 
 pleasant odours when she peeped into them to 
 see how the contents were going on ; a goose, 
 too, was stuffed, and Mrs. Poundaweek shed 
 briny tears over the onions ; the j^aterfamilias 
 was even forced to throw aside his book and 
 
108 
 
 CHEISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 his dignity, to dust glasses and plates, and 
 make himself generally useful. At last he 
 dived into cupboards, and brought out two 
 black bottles, which he uncorked, and smelt the 
 contents with the nose of a connoisseur, and 
 then he brought out a tumbler, and, pouring a 
 little white fluid from one of the bottles, offered 
 it to his better half. 
 
 " Now don't, Poundaweek," said Mrs. P., 
 **you knows I never do; 1 can't a-bear spirits 
 of a morning." 
 
 But recollect, Mrs. P., it's Christmas," per- 
 suaded her husband ; come, just a little drop." 
 
 " You should'nt ask me," said Mrs. Pound- 
 aweek, taking the glass ; after a curious grimace 
 she drank up the contents, and during the feat 
 her husband indulged in a series of winks at 
 the wall, quite unbecoming the son of a beadle, 
 and a head messenger in a wealthy banking 
 house. *'Now, P.," said his wife, gasping after 
 she had swallowed the liquid, come, you have 
 some." 
 
 *' Oh, yes. Here 's a merry Christmas to us 
 all," said Poundaweek j and then he dranli, and 
 
TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK. 
 
 109 
 
 afterwards poked his wife in the ribs, and 
 actually hauled her under a piece of mistletoe, 
 at which she said, Don't be a fool, Timoth3\'* 
 But, nevertheless, they kissed each other with 
 a loud smacking noise, something like a cracker 
 going off; then they laughed, and the children 
 shouted and jumped about with great glee, and 
 there was a great deal of connubial and domestic 
 felicity in the establishment. 
 
 Now P.," said his wife, when the joy had 
 subsided, " help me to put the goose down.'* 
 
 " Yes, dear," he replied, and, quite forgetting 
 all about his dignity, attended to the cookery. 
 
 My!'* he continued, ''it's a fine goose, and 
 you only gave five shillings for it; what a 
 good marketer you are ! " 
 
 " Well, if I ham. P.," responded his spouse, 
 smiling with a well- satisfied air, " if I ham, 
 you deserves it, for you be a good 'usband, and 
 a good father." 
 
 ** I try to be, I try to be, Mrs. P.," replied 
 the husband, " and to-day we will have a jolly 
 day of it, won't we ?" 
 
 ** Yes P. But you must go out now ; I wants 
 
1 10 CHEISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 to do some cleaning, and you '11 be in the way. 
 Take Murry Hann with you, there 's a good old 
 man." 
 
 I will," replied Poundaweek. " Here, Mary 
 Ann, put on your bonnet and shawl, I mean 
 to take you out for a walk." 
 
 " Yes, father," replied the child, joyfully. 
 
 The pair were soon equipped, and sallied 
 forth. As soon as they had left, Mrs. Poundaweek 
 seized a pail of water, and flopped down on her 
 knees to pursue her favourite employment, 
 ;while "Mariar" watched the goose, and indulged 
 herself with some of the apples from the sauce, 
 when her mother was not looking. 
 
 Poundaweek and his daughter wended their 
 way towards the Minories, to reach which they 
 had to traverse a number of small courts, and 
 by-streets ; into this labyrinth they plunged. 
 Mr. Poundaweek was very important and im- 
 pressive when out, and he puzzled his child 
 sadly by entering into the nature of the Britisli 
 constitution, and the superiority of the English 
 over every other nation in the world ; he was 
 just explaining to her how, if London were to 
 
TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK. 
 
 Ill 
 
 be invaded, the Lord Mayor would throw 
 himself into the Tower, and blow up the foreign 
 fleet, as it proceeded up the Thames, — when, 
 upon turning a corner, they came into violent 
 contact with two men, who were running 
 rapidly, one carrying something in a bundle. 
 
 "Now then, where are ye a-coming too?" 
 said the foremost of the men, a dogged-faced 
 individual. 
 
 ** Why can't you rnind? " replied Poundaweek, 
 with great dignity, ''you have nearly knocked 
 over my little girl, I assure you." , 
 
 " 'Old hard hold 'un, none o' yer jaw now, it 
 won't do," added the man, in a voice betokening 
 a pugilistic inclination. 
 
 " Come along, Bill," said the other, pulling 
 his comrade's arm, "leave the old cove alone, 
 can't you, you precious fool?" 
 
 " Blow him, I'll give him something he 
 don't like," said the first speaker, shaking his 
 fist angrily. 
 
 My good man, if a policeman was in sight, 
 I would give you into custody," said Pounda- 
 week, with ireful dignity. 
 
U2 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 " Would 3^ou, you hold methodist cove ? " 
 replied the man. | 
 Now Bill, you fool, are you a-coming ? ; 
 said his companion, pushing him on, and then 
 he added to Poundaweek, all serene guv 'nor,'* i 
 and before the head messenger could make a 
 reply, the pair had turned the corner, and were 
 lost to view. 
 
 Poundaweek, muttering something about 
 " Police and respectable inhabitants," took his 
 little giiTs hand, and proceeded on his way. 
 They soon emerged into the Minories, and as 
 the cold wind blew down the street with ex- 
 hilarating breeziness, Poundaweek forgot the 
 men and the collision. They shaped their 
 course west, as Poundaweek wished to show 
 his daughter the beauties of the aristocratic 
 portion of London, which, according to his 
 notion, commenced at Fleet-street, and termi- 
 nated at Charing-cross. There, Mary Ann, 
 that 's the Bank of England, and that 's the 
 Mansion House, where the Lord Mayor resides. 
 He 's the King of the City, you know," said 
 Poundaweek, pointing the buildings out to his 
 child's notice. 
 
TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK. 
 
 " Oh, father," asked the child, " does the Lord 
 Mayor have the men in armour always a- waiting 
 on him?" 
 
 *' I don 't know, child ; don 't ask tjuestions," he 
 replied. 
 
 Yes, but does he?" continued the little girl, 
 with the pertinacity peculiar to children, you 
 know every thing, father, and you ought to knov/ 
 that." 
 
 *' Well, I dare say he does," answered the 
 father, mollified at this tribute paid to his know- 
 ledge. " There 's Gild hall," he added. 
 "Where, father; oh, where?" 
 Why, at the end of that street," said Pounda- 
 week, pointing it out. 
 
 Why, father, it ain 't gilded." 
 And who said it was, you stupid, tiresome 
 child. It 's nothing to do with gilt, but it has to 
 do with trade, and law, and the Lord Mayor's 
 show." 
 
 Oh !" said the child; and the two proceeded 
 a little distance in silence. 
 
 " That big building *s St. Paul's ; it was 
 built by Wren," said Mr. Poundaweek, in a 
 
 I 
 
114 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 pompous, learned tone of voice. *'It's a Cathe- 
 dral." 
 
 I thought a wren was a bird, and only built 
 nests — what 's a Cathedral, father? " 
 
 What a very silly girl you are to make such 
 stupid observations : I ' 11 take you home if you 
 are not quiet. A Cathedral 's a large church : 
 but don't ask questions," remarked Poundaweek 
 sharply. 
 
 Thereupon the little girl was silent, and the 
 pair walked on up Fleet Street, and along the 
 Strand to Charing Cross, Poundaweek pointing 
 out the principal buildings, and telling their 
 histories and antiquities in a manner that would 
 surprise our friend, the author of the Handbook 
 of London." 
 
 At Somerset House he told the old story of 
 the Avatch in the wall. At Trafalgar Square he 
 gave a sketch of the life of Nelson, and entered 
 upon the use of a National Gallery, but he could 
 not contrive to convince his daughter that it was 
 not connected with the National Schools," and 
 she went home with the full conviction that the 
 Pv.A. 's painted the instructive pictures for those 
 popular educational establishments. 
 
TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK. 
 
 116 
 
 Mr. Poundaweek was now reminded by his 
 stomach of the dmner at home, and they pursued 
 thek course homewards ; with the exception of 
 meeting Tripples, nothing particular occurred, 
 and it was nearly two w^hen they rejoined their 
 expectant family. 
 
 The room was redolent of goose and onions, 
 the table-cloth w^as spread on the large centre 
 table, mighty cans of beer ornamented the dresser, 
 and the goose reposed upon a dish before the 
 fire, looking temptingly brown. All the children 
 were gathered together, and ranged round the 
 room, in their Sunday clothes, and with their 
 demurest faces. Mrs. Poundaweek was resplend- 
 ent in a print gown of many colours, and her 
 jolly face matched admirably with the red bows 
 in her cap. She was in excellent humour, for 
 the goose and dinner were done to a turn. 
 
 **Ah, you're come back/' said she to her 
 husband ; have you had a nice walk ? " 
 
 *'Yes, thank you," replied Timothy, ''but 
 Mary Anne 's very troublesome, she will ask 
 questions.'* 
 
 " Oh, you wicked child, how can you worrit 
 your fo,ther when he gives you a treat by taking 
 
116 
 
 CiiKISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 you for a walk ? " said the mother fiercely, looking 
 ready to pounce upon the child. 
 
 Never mind, mother," added Poundaweek, 
 in a conciliatory voice, **it's Christmas Day you 
 know, so don't let 's have any crossness." Then, 
 turning to the children, he added, **Now boys 
 and girls, mind you behave well, and don't 
 quarrel with each other ; recollect you never 
 heard me say / quarrelled with my brothers 
 and sisters; so be good children." 
 
 "Yes, father, we will," chorussed the four 
 voices. 
 
 " Mind you are, now," added the mother, 
 sharply. " Mariar, wipe your nose; Timothy, 
 I'll box your ears if you goes on shuffling your 
 feet about." 
 
 " Now, mother, I declare it 's past dinner 
 time," remarked Poundavs^eek, " and Tom and 
 them hav'nt come yet." 
 
 "They Vv^ill be sure to come all right; they 
 be never very late," was the answer. 
 
 As if to corroborate the statement of j)unc- 
 tuality made by Mrs. P., the sound of foot- 
 steps ascending the stairs was heard, and imme- 
 diately the door was tlirown open, and in cnmc 
 
TIMOTHY roUNDAVrBEK. 1 17 
 
 Mrs. Poundaweek's brother Tom, his Y/ife, their 
 four children, Tom's wife's sister, -and her young 
 man, all looking very jolly and happy. There 
 was a great deal of hand -shaking and merry 
 Christmas wishing by every one to every one 
 else, and not a little joking about the piece of 
 mistletoe. The younger Poundaweeks were 
 very merry, too, with their little cousins ; and, 
 like many other young children, immediately 
 told them the exact quantity of every article 
 they were going to have for dinner, including 
 the weight of the goose, and the size oi the 
 plum pudding. And then there was taking off 
 bonnets, and poking ringlets into shape on the 
 part of the ladies, v/hile the gentlemen had just 
 a thimbleful of gin to keep the cold out. 
 
 Then Poundaweek suggested dinner, and his 
 wife went to get it up ; whereupon her two 
 female guests said, Let me help you, Mrs. P.," 
 and all three proceeded to shovel out bushels of 
 potatoes, enormous heads of broccoli, and great 
 masses of apple sauce ; and, when everything 
 was put upon the table, there w^as a deal of 
 rubbing of hands, and Tom said that he 
 
118 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 *' thought they would soon make the goose look 
 foolish," at which every body laughed, and Mrs. 
 Tom looked at him with intense admiration 
 and a triumphant air, as much as to say, 
 
 There, -svhat do you think of that ; isn't he 
 clever?" and then there was a great clamping of 
 feet, and dragging of chairs to the table, as the 
 company seated themselves, and the 4:wo mothers 
 administered a little salutary correction to 
 their respective offspring, and Tom made a sly 
 joke about his wife's sister and her young man 
 sitting together, which made the former blush, 
 and the latter look excessively sheepish, 
 
 Poundaweek sharpened his knife, said a 
 short grace, and, with a preliminary flourish of 
 the weapon, was going to commence cutting 
 up, when suddenly he exclaimed, " Gracious 
 goodness ! " 
 
 ''•What 's the matter, Timothy ? " asked Tom. 
 
 " I 've forgotten," replied Poundaweek. 
 Not the tobacco, I hope," added Tom. 
 
 " How very stupid ! " continued Poundaweek. 
 What's the matter, Timothy, what have you 
 forgotten ? " inquired his wife, in alarm. 
 
TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK. 
 
 119 
 
 To post the letters for I\Ir. Fograss ; I must 
 go to the Bank at once." 
 
 "That will do after dhiner, won't it?" asked 
 Tom's wife. 
 
 " No that it won't, I must go at once." 
 How tiresome, P.," said his wife, in a tone 
 of vexation, "the dinner will spoil, drat it! " 
 
 " No it won't," said Tom's wife, " Timothy 
 won't be long gone, so let 's put the goose before 
 the fire, and wait until he comes back." 
 
 "Oh, yes," said all the guests, "of course, 
 that will do." 
 
 "Well," added Poundaweek, "I shan't be 
 more than a quarter of an hour gone." 
 
 ^' All right P.," said his wife, her good humour 
 now quite restored, and before the goose was 
 removed from the table, Poundaweek had quitted 
 the house. 
 
 He rapidly threaded the labyrinth of courts, and 
 when he gained the open streets, ran along as 
 fast as his legs would carry him, and in less than 
 ten minutes reached the Banking House. He 
 asked the servant who let him in, for any letters 
 for Mr. Fograss ; these he obtained and entered 
 
ISO 
 
 CHIIISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 the office for the purpose of putting them mto 
 an envelope: havmg dkected and sealed them, 
 he threw the lucifer - match on the ground 
 a-light, and, as he looked to see if the flame had 
 gone out, his eye fell upon a key lying on the 
 floor. 
 
 Hallo, what 's this ? " he exclaimed, picking 
 it up ; w4iy it looks veiy like one of our safe 
 keys ; but no, it can 't be, they are all locked up 
 in the little iron box." 
 
 He thought a moment, and looked at the key 
 attentively, and gradually a suspicion crossed 
 his mind that all was not quite right, so lighting 
 a candle, he descended to see if the door of the 
 strong room w^as locked. He got down stairs, 
 and found it closed, but on trying it the heavy 
 iron door slowly yielded to his efforts, and 
 disclosed to his astonished eyes a mass of account 
 books scattered over the floor in great confusion. 
 
 The place has been robbed ! " he exclaimed, 
 recoiling in horror ; whatever is to be done ! I '11 
 go and call the servants in the house." He 
 turned to proceed up stairs, but knowing that the 
 $afe containing the bank notes, acceptances, and 
 
TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK. 
 
 121 
 
 other valuable property, was at the farther end 
 of the room, he went back to see if it had been 
 touched ; on arriving at it and trying the door, to 
 his great relief, he found that it was locked, and 
 was rejoicing at this discovery, when he re- 
 membered the key he had picked up, which 
 in his excitement he had already forgotten ; 
 falteringly lie inserted it in the key-hole, and to 
 his grief he found that it unlocked the door, 
 which he opened, and discovered the contents to 
 be gone ! His brain reeled, and for a moment 
 he was paralyzed by fear. What was to be done ? 
 the three large banking cases that were abstracted, 
 he knew contained all the valuable property in 
 the Bank, such as mortgage deeds, acceptances, 
 and bank notes, to a considerable amount; the 
 little drawer, also, containing the gold was empty. 
 As soon as he could collect his thoughts, after 
 this astounding discovery, he reflected upon the 
 steps to be taken, and after pondering for a few 
 minutes, determined to communicate with the 
 police authorities on the subject, but first he 
 would ascertain if the head clerk of the establish- 
 ' ment, who lived on the premises, was at home. 
 
U'2 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 He went up stairs, and calling for the servant, 
 
 sked, — 
 
 "Is Mr. Tollinson at home?" 
 
 " No, he is gone into the country, and will not 
 he back until to-morrow," was the reply. 
 
 Timothy paused a moment to consider whether 
 he should at once tell the servant of the robbery, 
 or consult with the police : he determined upon 
 the latter course. Assuming as careless a voice 
 as he possibly could, he inquired : 
 
 Has any one called to-day on business ? " 
 
 '*No," replied the domestic, no one has 
 called to-day at all, excepting a man with a 
 hamper." 
 
 Did you leave him in the passage alone," 
 inquired Poundaweek. 
 
 "Yes, I went up stairs to get the money," 
 answered the domestic. 
 
 " And you found him here when you returned?" 
 
 " Yes, but why do you ask ?" 
 
 " Oh, nothing; good day! " said Poundaweek, 
 abruptly quitting the house. 
 
 A light had flashed across him, that the man 
 with the hamper had some connexion with the 
 
TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK. 
 
 robbery. Dinner, and every other domestic 
 concern, was now entirely forgotten, and, hasten- 
 ing across the street, he rapidly gained the 
 Mansion House. On entering the office, he 
 found an Inspector, two or three Detectives, and 
 some oificers, lounging about ; to the former 
 Poundaweek briefly detailed his discovery of 
 the robbery. After a little consultation, two 
 officers were despatched to the Banking House 
 with Poundaweek, which they searched most 
 thoroughly, but could discover nothing that 
 could throw a light on the mystery. 
 
 "You say no one has been here to-day?" asked 
 one of the officers of the servant. 
 
 Only the man with the hamper," replied 
 the domestic, who was horribly alarmed at the 
 affair. 
 
 " Let 's see the hamper," said the other officer. 
 
 " It 's up stairs," replied the maid, " will you 
 come up, or shall I bring it down?" 
 
 Oh, we will go up," replied the officer, and 
 up stairs the whole party went. 
 
 The hamper, upon being cut open, was found 
 to contain, much to the astonishment of every 
 
CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 one but the two officers, merely a collection of 
 dry rubbish. 
 
 Whew ! " whistled one of the officers. 
 That 's it, is it?" said the other. 
 
 " I felt certain that hamper had something to 
 do with it," exclaimed Timothy, triumphantly. 
 
 " You say you left the man in the passage 
 while you went up stairs?" inquired one of the 
 officers of the servant. 
 
 "Yes, I did, and he was there when I came 
 back," replied the frightened woman. 
 
 ''Of .course he was," said the officer, "and^Yhi]e 
 you fetched his money, he no doubt, introduced a 
 man into the Bank, who fetched away the Bank's 
 money," added he, and the other officer laughed 
 at the little professional joke. 
 
 "What kind of a man was it that left the 
 hamper ? " asked Poundaweek. 
 
 " A tall dark man, with whiskers, dressed as a 
 carman. He asked me to sign a book for the 
 hamper, which I did with a pencil," replied the 
 servant. 
 
 " Was there anything peculiar about his 
 appearance ? " inquired one of the officers. 
 
TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK. 
 
 125 
 
 " Nothing that I noticed," was the servant's 
 repl}'; stop, though; he squmted with one eye, 
 and two of his fingers were bent down ; I saw 
 that as he shut up the book I had put my name 
 in." 
 
 "I say, John," said one of the officers, if 
 Joe Harris had not been sent across the herring- 
 pond, I should say it was him." 
 
 *' Well, now there is nothing else to be learnt, 
 Sve had better go back to the Mansion House," 
 added the other, " and Mr. Poundaweek, and the 
 servant, and tlie hamper, had better go with us." 
 
 The party returned to the Mansion House, 
 and after some further consultation, the Inspector 
 suggested the advisability of communicating 
 immediately with the partners of the Bank, 
 respecting the robbery. Timothy agreed to 
 this, and volunteered to start off at once to Mr. 
 Snorton's house, but, upon second consideration, 
 and after taking the Inspector's advice, he 
 thought it would be as well to communicate 
 with that gentleman through some more in- 
 fluential personage. But unfortunately a new 
 difficulty presented itself; Poundaweek, now 
 
U6 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 in a high state of mental excitement, could not, 
 for the life of him, remember the residences 
 of any of the clerks, and, after some little effort 
 of memory, he gave up the attempt in despair, 
 and agreed to go himself to Clapham ; and he 
 was leaving the office to proceed thither, when 
 he suddenly remembered his meeting with 
 Tripples, and how Jack had told him that he 
 intended dining in Fleet-street. Timothy knew 
 the place well, for he once overheard Tripples 
 telling some one the name of the house. So 
 off he started, running quickly through the 
 streets, and found Jack. We have described 
 this interview, and how the latter started for 
 the junior partners house, after which Pounda- 
 week returned to the City. 
 
 When Timothy got back to the Mansion 
 House, nothing further had, as yet, been 
 discovered ; Detectives, however, had been 
 despatched to various places, such as Gray's 
 Inn Lane, St. Giles's, the Mint in the Borough, 
 and other sanctuaries of crime and iniquity in 
 this vast metropolis. Poundaweek, finding that 
 his services were not required for the present, 
 
TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK. 
 
 127 
 
 and knowing that his friends at home would 
 be uneasy at his prolonged absence, determined 
 to go and tell them the misfortune that had 
 occurred, and afterwards return to meet Jack, 
 as agreed. 
 
 With wdiat far different feelings did Pounda- 
 week retrace his steps through the streets he 
 had lately bounded so cheerfully along : then 
 he was free from care and anxiety, and looking 
 forward to spending a day of unclouded domestic 
 happiness with his family ; now he felt uneasy, 
 oppressed, and harrassed, and contemplated the 
 remainder of the day with no pleasurable 
 emotions. He walked along with a slow, lagging 
 gait, wishing most heartily that the great 
 Christmas holiday had been left to him in 
 undisturbed enjoyment. Pie gained the Minories, 
 and turned dow^n from it into the labyrinth of 
 little courts and narrow streets we have before 
 mentioned. As he was proceeding through 
 one of the narrowest and dirtiest, with the 
 words Eo£BEEY, EoBBEKY, EoBBERY " ringing 
 through his brain, he suddenly heard an echo 
 proceed from a very dirty, dismal house, and 
 
128 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 Eohhery " fell upon his outward, as well as 
 his mental, ears. He started, and paused instinct- 
 ively, and, hearing other voices proceeding 
 from the ground-floor of the house, drew himself 
 close to the wall, near the window, in the hope 
 of catching something that might explain the 
 word he had heard pronounced. He listened 
 for two or three minutes, but his straining 
 ears were only gratified by the sound of hoarse 
 grating whispers, and low, chuckling laughter. 
 After a while he determined to leave the place, 
 — perhaps the " robbery " that he had heard was 
 only himself thinking aloud, without knowing it, 
 — so he withdrew a step or two from the wall, 
 when a man s voice, which he thought he re- 
 cognised, exclaimed, in a harsh tone, — 
 So you see we Ve got the swag." 
 Instantly and breathlessly Timothy resumed his 
 position, and his curiosity was gratified by hearing 
 a second speaker exclaim, *' That 's all right ; but 
 how?" Here the voice sank to a whisper, and 
 Timothy was unable to catch a single word more, 
 but at last the first speaker said aloud, — 
 " The notes?" 
 
TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK 
 
 129 
 
 " Yes," replied the second. 
 
 tell you," said a third speaker, and then 
 followed a long whispered conversation, of which 
 Poundaw^eek could not catch a single word, and 
 when it was finished a loud laugh followed, and 
 the second speaker exclaimed, Bravo, you Ve 
 done it well ; " and then the parties appeared to 
 quit the room. 
 
 Poundaweek stood for a moment like one under 
 a charm. He had no doubt discovered a robbery, 
 but was it the right one ? The men certainly 
 spoke of notes, but there were other notes in 
 the world besides those in the Bank. He knew 
 not what to do ; should he at once seek th^ assist- 
 ance of a policeman and force an entrance into 
 the room, or return to the Mansion House and 
 communicate w^ith the parties there ? After a 
 little consideration he decided upon pursuing 
 the latter course, so, carefully noticing the 
 appearance of the house, he left the court and 
 ran back to the Mansion House as fast as his 
 legs would carry him. When he reached it he 
 found Jack, who had just arrived, in earnest 
 
 K 
 
180 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 discussion with the Inspector, and commnni- 
 cating to him the instructions he had received 
 from Mr. Snorton relative to the robbery. 
 
 I 've discovered something," exclaimed Ti- 
 mothy, in an excited tone of voice as he 
 entered. 
 
 ^*When — where — how?" asked Jack, impetu- 
 ously, but before Timothy could reply he sank 
 exhausted upon a chair. 
 
 " Get some brandy," said the Inspector; the 
 spirit was brought and administered to Pound- 
 aweek, avIio soon recovered. 
 
 " Now^" continued the Inspector, "what have 
 you found out?" 
 
 Poundaweek explained to him as quickly as 
 possible the discovery he had made. 
 
 "You certainly have discovered a robbery," ob- 
 served Jack, *' but whether it is ours, I cannot say." 
 
 " Yes, there is no doubt about that," added the 
 Inspector, " and we shall therefore be justified 
 in searching the house, and as the sooner it is 
 done the better, no time is to be lost. My own 
 opinion is, that you have discovered the robbery 
 at the Bank." 
 
TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK. 
 
 131 
 
 ''Would to God he has!" fervently ejaculated 
 Jack. 
 
 "Do you think so?" added Poundaweek, joy- 
 fully. 
 
 " Well, I really do," replied the Inspector, 
 but we will soon find out." 
 
 The arrangements were promptly made, two 
 detectives were to start for the house, and 
 Poundaweek and Jack volunteered to accompany 
 them. Three or four public officers were also 
 despatched to act as a corps de reserve, should 
 any resistance be attempted. The latter instantly 
 departed, and the detectives and the others shortly 
 followed in a cab. 
 
 As the vehicle drove rapidly along, the party 
 agreed that Poundaweek should knock at the 
 door, whilst the others lay concealed, ready to 
 effect an entrance as soon as it was opened. 
 They quickly arrived at the Minories, and, get- 
 ting ov.t of the cab, after desiring the man, who 
 appeared to be well known to the detectives, to 
 wait* they dived into the courts and speedily 
 gained the one in which the house was situated. 
 Before they reached it, they found the four 
 
132 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 policemen who had been detached loitering 
 about, and gave directions for two to go to each 
 end of the court, and to come if they heard a 
 whistle, but they were to keep themselves as 
 much in the dark as possible to prevent sus- 
 picion on the part of any one about. 
 
 The tw^o officers and Jack concealed themselves 
 under an archway close at hand, while Pounda- 
 week went forward to the door. He knocked a 
 single rap, but no notice was taken of the 
 summons, and after repeating it with the same 
 ill-luck, began to think that either the house was 
 empty, or that the men had got some suspicions 
 of his design, and were making off another way. 
 He repeated the summons a third time, and had 
 let the knocker fall when the door was opened, 
 and Timothy stood confronted with one of the 
 men who had run against him in the morning. 
 
 *''Ullo! hold bun!" said the man, "what do 
 you want ? yer ad better — " but before he could 
 finish his inhospitable greeting, he found him- 
 self and Poundaweek forced into the passage 
 with three other men, and the street door 
 iristnntly closed, against which the broad back 
 
TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK. 
 
 133 
 
 of an officer pressed heavily. The man uttered 
 an oath, and stood with his arms folded glancing 
 at the party with a sullen glowering expression. 
 
 Oh, Bill Langley ! it's you, is it, my friend ?'* 
 said one of the detectives, advancing; "We've 
 got you at last, have we? Well, we shan't let 
 you go again in a hurry." 
 
 What do you want me for ?" asked the man, 
 gruffly. 
 
 Your memory's treacherous this morning, 
 my dear William," replied the detective; *'have 
 you forgotten the Bank already ? " 
 
 I know nothing about that," answered the 
 man, forgetting himself. 
 
 *' So, you 've heard of it, have you ? " said the 
 officer, at which the man grew very pale. 
 
 But it 's cold here, suppose we go into the 
 back room, I dare say you 've got a nice lire 
 there," continued the detective, pushing Bill 
 before him into the room, and closely followed by 
 the others. 
 
 " And now, my friend, we will put on these 
 bracelets if you please, in case you should feel 
 disposed to exercise your hands on anybody," 
 
134 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 said the officer, producing the handcuffs, and 
 putting them on the wrists of the unresisting 
 man; " and now," he said, '* my companions will 
 go and have a look round your comfortable 
 house, while you and I have a little conversation 
 all to ourselves." 
 
 They won 't find nothink there," said Bill, 
 triumphantly. 
 
 Won 't they, then perhaps some of your 
 friends may arrive with something shortly?" 
 
 " Thoy won't he here for a month," answered 
 Bill, doggedly. 
 
 *'Well, then, w^e can wait, you know," replied 
 the detective, " we are in no hurry, we rather 
 like waiting for you gentlemen, especially in such 
 a comfortable warm room as this is." * 
 
 Jack, Pound aweek, and the other detective now 
 commenced a strict search of the house, looking 
 into every room, examining the contents of cup- 
 boards, and peering into every nook and corner 
 in the dwelling; but they succeeded in finding 
 nothing, excepting some house-breaking imple- 
 ments, and a bunch of skeleton keys ; after 
 this fruitless errand they returned to the back 
 
TIMOTHY POUND AWEEK. 
 
 135 
 
 room, and consulted with the other officer, while 
 Bill, seeing the search had produced nothing 
 material, grinned triumphantly. 
 
 The four determined at last to leave the place 
 in charge of a couple of policemen, and return 
 to the Mansion House with the man in custody. 
 
 Poundaweek and Tripples felt very much 
 depressed in spirits, and had almost given up 
 in despair their hopes of discovering the robbery 
 at present, when, just as the party were pre- 
 paring to quit the house, a knock was heard at 
 the front door, hearing which. Bill was about 
 to set up a shout of warning, but one of the 
 detectives, perceiving his intention, quick as 
 lightning gagged him with a handkerchief, and 
 drawing a staff from his pocket, said, in a low 
 voice, " If you make the least noise, 1 11 quiet 
 you, I can tell you." 
 
 The other detective went to the door, and 
 peeping through the key-hole, perceived three 
 men, one holding a heavy-looking bundle, which 
 he had just taken from under the cloak he was 
 wrapped in. The officer returned to the room, 
 and rapidly directed that Jack should open the 
 
136 
 
 CHEISTAFAS DAY VriTII 
 
 door, standing well behind it, that he should 
 speak in a gruff voice if the men addressed 
 iiira, and after letting them in, should summon 
 the other officers, bring two in, and tell the rest 
 to remain at hand outside, while he and Pound- 
 aweek went into the front room. The knocking 
 at the door was repeated during this rapid 
 conversation, and curses were vented on Mr. 
 WilliantLangley's eyes, ears, and body generally. 
 At last Jack opened the door, and the three 
 men entered, one exclaiming, " Well Bill, what 
 a fool you are, to keep us w^aiting." 
 
 " All right," said Jack, gruffly. 
 
 ^ 'Ullo, is that you. Bob, where s Bill? " 
 Hall serene hin the front room," added 
 Jack. 
 
 The three, fortunately without looking at 
 Tripples, went into the room, while the latter 
 hailed the policemen, two of whom immediately 
 entered the passage. 
 
 Here we are. Bill," said one of the three 
 men, 
 
 " Yes, here we are ! exclaimed the officer, 
 pouncing upon the man with the bundle, and 
 
TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK. 
 
 137 
 
 wresting it from his grasp. With a cry of pain 
 and an oath, the fellow sprung fiercely upon the 
 officer, and, assisted by one of the others, would 
 speedily have regained the bundle, had not Jack 
 and one of the policemen, who had by this time 
 made his appearance, seized hold of them, and 
 forced them from the breathless detective. 
 Meanwhile, Poundaweek had tackled the other 
 man, but he freed himself from Timothy's grasp, 
 threw open the window, and jumped out — into 
 the arms of a policeman. The three ruffians 
 were speedily handcuffed, and taken into the 
 back room, where, to their astonishment, they 
 beheld Bill Langley already in custody. 
 
 "What! " exclaimed the officer in charge of 
 the latter, as the first of the other three entered ; 
 "What, Joe Harris home again! why I thought 
 you were done for." 
 
 " No, here I am, ■ it," said the man. 
 
 " Yes, here you are, but we mean soon to be 
 quit of you again ; " then turning to the police- 
 man, he said, "now lads, off with them; and, 
 before the crowd which had begun to collect 
 outside had formed any notion respecting the 
 
138 
 
 CHRISTMAS DAY WITH 
 
 whole affair, so rapidly was it effected, they were 
 gratified by seeing the four men taken off in 
 charge of the police. 
 
 Poundaweek, Jack, and the two detectives 
 found, on opening the bundle, that it contained 
 the three missing cases, and a great deal of 
 gold, the former Jack instantly identified as 
 being the property of his employers, the dis- 
 covery caused him to indulge in a little 
 pantomime business, much to the amusement 
 of the others ; and considerably lighter in heart, 
 the party returned to the Mansion House. 
 
 On their arrival, it was deemed advisable to 
 communicate as quickly as possible with Sir 
 Fograss ; and as it was now about half-past five, 
 and a train started at six, it was agreed that 
 Jack, Poundaweek, and a detective with the 
 regained property, should go down by it to 
 Fograss Court. 
 
 Before starting on their journey, the party in- 
 dulged in a little brandy and water, and con- 
 gratulated Poundaweek on his fortunate dis- 
 covery. After Jack and Timothy had put their 
 dress a little in order, and the latter had 
 
TIMOTHY POUNDAWEEK. 
 
 189 
 
 written to tell his wife of his going to Fograss 
 Court, — as she ah^eady knew of the robbery, 
 through the eldest boy, who had been sent after 
 his father, — the three proceeded to London 
 Bridge, and took their departure in the train ; 
 and before they arrived at their destination, the 
 snow had ceased falling, and the moon threw 
 her pale, calm light on the frosty ground. 
 
CHAPTEE YI. 
 
 CONCLUSION. 
 
 We left the company at Fograss Court with 
 sinking spirits, and an undefinable feeling of 
 dulness and apprehension resting on their 
 minds. Sir Fograss's absence had been excused 
 by his lady, but all missed the cheerful tones of 
 his voice, which were wont to animate and en- 
 liven every one on this usually joyous day. 
 The worthy Baronet remained closetted with 
 his partner, in deep consultation concerning the 
 robbery. It appeared that the abstracted cases 
 contained large sums in bank-notes and gold ; 
 also accepted bills, mortgage deeds, and other 
 securities to a great amount ; and they had but 
 little hope of ever regaining the larger part of 
 the property — the loss of which might even 
 
CONCLUSION. 
 
 141 
 
 occasion the temporary suspension of the busi- 
 ness of the firm. 
 
 In the drawing-room, the gloom that had 
 stolen over all the guests could not be re- 
 moved ; the most intimate friends of the family 
 had already been informed of the unfortunate 
 event that had occurred, and the real concern 
 they entertained for Sir Fograss, and those 
 connected with him, prevented their assuming 
 a false air of joy and cheerfulness. Little groups 
 of threes and fours congregated about the large 
 room, conversing seriously and with a miOurnful 
 earnestness, very different from the usual light 
 train of talk generally maintained on Christmas- 
 days at Fograss Court; while the charades, 
 fireworks, and other amusements, were entirely 
 forgotten. Lord Froodle remarked confiden- 
 tially to his friend Sir Harry, that it was jeuced 
 slow, and a bwor." The neighbouring country 
 guests, who had arrived, were surprised and 
 disappointed at the air of restraint that pervaded 
 *' The Court," and many wished they had never 
 come at all, if the evening was to be a dull one. 
 In the lower hall the rustics were having tea ; 
 
142 
 
 CONCLUSION. 
 
 and the serious faces of many of them showed 
 how their hearts were touched by Sir Fograss's 
 (to tliem) unlmown but apparent misfortune. 
 
 It was a quarter past seven ; the company in 
 the drawing-room were waiting dinner, when Sir 
 Fograss and Mr. Snorton entered. Both looked 
 pale and serious, but the former's kind smile 
 still shone on his benevolent face. The Baronet 
 soon noticed the gloom that shadowed the room 
 in sympathizing sorrow ; and he tried his utmost 
 to restore the banished cheerfulness, but only 
 succeeded in raising a little forced merriment, 
 that flickered fitfully, and then expired. 
 
 Louisa and Fanny, with Edward and Lieu- 
 tenant Ponsforcl, were standing by one of the 
 windows, talking to each other. 
 
 " Look ! " exclaimed Louisa, as she removed 
 the heavy velvet curtain from the window, the 
 moon has come out ! the clouds have vanished I 
 and the stars are shining very brightly." 
 
 I wish we could believe," said Edward, " that 
 it was ominous of a brighter light breaking on 
 this unfortunate affair." 
 
 " I trust it shortly may, my dear fellow,' 
 
CONCLUSION. 
 
 143 
 
 said Lieutenant Ponsford, with warmth, and 
 pressing Edward's hand. 
 
 "But really," observed Louisa, "we have no 
 right to spoil our friends' dinner and evening by 
 our own selfishness; pray Edward do try and 
 enliven them, let us have our charades and 
 dancing this evening. Perhaps," she added, with 
 a sigh, " it may be the last Christmas we shall 
 spend in this dear old house." 
 
 Lieutenant Ponsford squeezed her hand affec- 
 tionately, and Fanny \aid : 
 
 Oh, don 't say so, Louisa. This unpleasant 
 affair will all be cleared up soon, no doubt." 
 
 ''I sincerely hope it may," said Edward, des- 
 pondingly, "but w^hat is that coming up the 
 avenue ? " 
 
 " A fly or a carriage driving very rapidly," she 
 replied quickly. 
 
 "I do believe it brings good news," ejaculated 
 Fanny, in a joyous voice ; "I have a presenti- 
 ment that it does." 
 
 " May your presentiment be true, dear Fanny," 
 said Edward, shaking his head. 
 
 At that moment the carriage stopped at the 
 
144 
 
 CONCLUSION. 
 
 door, and a minute afterwards a footman entered 
 the room, and told his master that three persons 
 wished to see him. Sir Fograss desired them to 
 be shown into the library, and a moment after he 
 quitted the room and entered that apartment, 
 where, to his astonishment, he beheld Jack, 
 Poundaweek, and a detective. 
 
 " I am happy to say, Sir Fograss," said Jack, 
 advancing, " that w^e have discovered all." 
 
 All what?" asked the Baronet, **the robbery! " 
 
 " Yes, Sir Fograss, and the property taken, 
 and here it is, sir," said the detective, producing 
 the three cases and the gold, and placing them 
 on the table. 
 
 The Baronet sank into a chair completely 
 overcome : he however speedily recovered, and 
 advanced to the table to convince himself that 
 the property really was there, and as soon as he 
 was satisfied of this fact, he rang the bell, and 
 desired a servant to ask Mr. Snorton to come to 
 Ijim directly. The junior partner soon answered 
 the summons. 
 
 We are saved !" said Sir Fograss, advancing 
 to meet him, " the property is found, and here 
 are the discoverers " 
 
CONCLUSION. 
 
 145 
 
 Thank Heaven ! " exclaimed Mr. Snorton 
 with energy. 
 
 " Yes," added Sir Fograss, we can now recall 
 our friends to happiness ; it grieved me so to see 
 them dull on such a day as this : now, Snorton, 
 just look through the books, I dare say you can 
 tell whether the securities and notes are un- 
 touched; and, Mr. Tripples, come and tell me 
 all about this extraordinary affair." 
 
 Jack did as he was desired, and rapidly detailed 
 all the circumstances connected with the dis- 
 covery, and when his narrative was finished, the 
 Baronet shook hands with every one in the room, 
 looking veiy happy and cheerful ; then he said, 
 in a low and kind tone, something to the three 
 about remembering the affair, then Mr. Snorton 
 having gone through the contents of the cases, 
 declared, that as far as he could tell, every 
 thing was untouched, and the junior partner 
 looked better in health and spirits than he had 
 for four hours past. 
 
 A knock was now heard at the door, and a 
 footman entered to inquire whether dinner 
 should be served, to which the Baronet replied 
 
 L 
 
146 
 
 CONCLUSION. 
 
 in the affirmative, and writing a few lines on 
 a piece of paper, desired the man to take it to 
 her Ladyship. 
 
 And now," he said, " for a merrv evening ! 
 Mr. Tripples, yon dine with us. Poundaweek 
 and the officer will have dinner in the house- 
 keeper's room, and afterwards help the merriment 
 in the lower hall. Come, gentlemen," he added 
 to Snorton and Jack, we will now go and try 
 to remove the dulness of our guests." 
 
 The party separated, and the Baronet, with 
 his partner and clerk entered the drawing-room. 
 As the door opened, every eye was turned 
 towards the Baronet, and almost a dead silence 
 pervaded the company. 
 
 My dear ^ friends," said Sir Fograss ; ''it is 
 no good making a mystery of that which is past. 
 Our Bank, as many of you know, was robbed 
 to-day; but we have now, thanks partly to my 
 young friend here (pointing to Jack), discovered 
 the thieves, and the stolen property is now safe 
 in my possession." 
 
 A pleasant murmur of gratulation ran round 
 the room. 
 
 I thank you," continued the Baronet, '* for 
 
COKCLUSION. 
 
 147 
 
 the kind sympathy you have shown me to-day, 
 and I trust you will show it still further by 
 banishing the gloomy cloud that has settled on 
 us, and by being as merry as you possibly can." 
 
 This speech was received with acclamations of 
 joy, so hearty and even boisterous, that they 
 materially astonished Mr. Snarton's gentility, and 
 a crowd pressed forward to shake hands with the 
 Baronet, Jack, and the junior partner, whilst all 
 in the room brightened up, and the conversation 
 became more animated. Sir Mortram Mac Gillup 
 engaged a new audience for his Chevalier stories ; 
 Old Lord Boynton gave his recollections of the 
 . Kegency, whilst even little Lord Froodle attempted 
 a joke, but failed in making his listeners see the 
 point of it. Happiness and merriment were again 
 in the ascendant at Fograss Court. 
 
 The dinner went off admirably, the charades 
 were capitally acted, and the rockets ascended 
 amidst the ecstatic " Oh's " and Ah's " of the 
 country people. Every amusement that could be 
 thought of was tried, and succeeded to admiration ; 
 and all the guests have since declared that they 
 never spent so happy and merry a Christmas Day 
 
148 
 
 CONCLUSION. 
 
 before or since. In the lower hall, Poundaweek 
 and the officer speedily removed the dulness that 
 had crept in to mar the day ; and the pair, 
 during the remainder of the evening, were alter- 
 nately the admiration and the awe of the rustics. 
 Fograss Court was the scene of unflagging merri- 
 ment until nearly six o'clock in the morning; as 
 for Jack, he was in his element, he was immense 
 in charades, and quite a lion for the evening; 
 and fussy, disagreeable Mr. Snorton forgot his 
 Clapham gentility amidst the high-born peo 
 that surrounded him. 
 
 At last the lights were gradually extinguished 
 in the old house, and the stars shone brightly 
 and peacefully, while the calm, morning air 
 played a lullaby amongst the leafless branches 
 of the trees, and soothed the pleasure-tired 
 guests to sleep. 
 
 Many Christmas Days come and go, marked 
 by no particular features, but the one of which 
 we have written will long be remembered, by 
 at least four persons in the Banking Firm of 
 FooRASS, Fograss, Mowton, and Snorton. 
 
 London: Reed and I'ardon, Printers, rtaternoster-row. 
 
UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS-URBANA