^^Chicago, Chicago, 
 That toddlin, town, 
 toddlin' town , . /^'^ 
 
 *From the song "Chicago" by 
 Fred Fisher, copyright, 1949, 
 by Fred Fisher Miisic Co., Inc.
 
 THAT TODDLIN' TOWN 
 
 A ROWDY BURLESQUE OF CHICAGO 
 MANNERS AND MORALS 
 
 BY 
 HUGH M. HEFNER 
 
 CHI PUBLISHERS, CHICAGO
 
 
 Dedicated to a wife named Millie, 
 my soul mate and sole support 
 
 Copyright, 1951, by Hugh M. Hefner 
 1922 N. New England Ave., Chicago 35 
 
 All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, must 
 not be reproduced in any form without permission 
 
 FIRST PRINTING 
 
 Printed in the United States of America by -^ 
 
 Stamats Publishing Company, Cedar Rapids, la. ^
 
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 ymV' '"m 
 
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 CHICAGO ... The Loop, Michi- 
 gan Avenue, "The World's Greatest 
 Newspaper" . . . Maxwell Street, North 
 Clark, Skid Row . . . B-girls, burlesque, 
 the syndicate. Here is that rowdy, big 
 shouldered, wonderful town in broad 
 caricature ... a humorous poke at its 
 institutions, its culture, its sex life . . . 

 
 THE TOURIST 
 
 " Chica go! — It's exactly as I ituagined it!"
 
 THE TOURIST 
 
 .ft.'^TATE STJ^rKT 
 
 / / 
 
 / 
 
 / 
 
 "Vve really been looking forward to this chance 
 to see the Wind y City!"
 
 THE EASTERNER 
 
 m 1 
 
 ''You're really far more civilized out here than I 
 
 realized. I notice some of your neivstands 
 
 actually carry 'The New Yorker'."
 
 THE EL 
 
 6kWJ/'PJi5
 
 THE EL
 
 UNION STATION 
 
 ^^^^(j>< 
 
 'He's out to prove you can go through 
 Chicago without changing trains!"
 
 MICHIGAN AVENUE 
 
 TWO SENSATIONAL H<T5 
 
 )PEN CITY"& "PAISAN" ^ 
 
 If.T ,,,,'ffl
 
 MICHIGAN AVENUE 
 
 "They're taken care of.
 
 NORTH AVENUE BEACH 
 
 nv^^ 
 
 "''^^''^f==^^/^^^: 
 
 'Darling, you're different 
 
 r"
 
 "THE WORLD'S 
 GREATEST NEWSPAPER" 
 
 ^'The Colonel's in a helluva mood!! Little Orphan 
 Annie got off a comment in this morning's edition 
 that could easily be construed as pro-Defnocrat!"
 
 SOUTH STATE STREET 
 
 ''And what's more, I don't think you really 
 are Dr. Kinsey!"
 
 MAXWELL STREET 
 
 'Don't take my word for how good this suit is 
 — Ask my partner!"
 
 MAXWELL STREET 
 
 
 FiFI e 
 
 FORTUNES TOC0 
 
 
 "You ain't got much of a future, mister — but 
 
 for another five, Madame Fifi can make 
 
 your present pretty nice!"
 
 WEST MADISON STREET 
 
 7 couldn't take those off, honey! — It'd make 
 the show indecent!"
 
 WEST MADISON STREET 
 
 "She's outa step with the music."
 
 THE LOOP 
 
 ^7 do ivish Claudia C as sidy had let me like it. 
 I thought it was awfully good."
 
 THE LOOP 
 
 bUKtfto 
 GlRLS*i 
 
 "Joey ain't interested. — He's got a sister.'
 
 THE LOOP 
 
 'Mmm — ]ust like ] at her used to make I"
 
 THE LOOP 
 
 <@< 
 
 "Shall I leave the sideburns, sir?"
 
 THE LOOP 
 
 u4
 
 THE LOOP 
 
 "Now here comes an mteresting couple.
 
 THE LOOP 
 
 'Would it be worth my time and money 
 to buy yon a drink?"
 
 THE LOOP 
 
 "IJm always enjoys a game of chance.
 
 THE LOOP 
 
 M^^i?^*^ 
 
 7 wonder what you'd use for bait?! 
 
 i»
 
 GRANT PARK 

 
 MUSEUM OF 
 NATURAL HISTORY
 
 THE ART INSTITUTE 
 
 m^. 
 
 
 'i-zfA ,, 
 
 ffT 
 
 'Man — is she stacked^'
 
 THE BAND SHELL 
 
 ''We're listening to the music. What d'ya 
 think we're doitig?!"
 
 LINCOLN PARK ZOO 
 
 '7/ hasn't been easy — fUling the 
 gap left by Bushman."
 
 WRIGLEY FIELD 
 
 "Start chewing, men — here comes the boss."
 
 COMISKEY PARK
 
 RIVERVIEW 
 
 T^TfiSfT^' 
 
 ''You'll usually jiud the Air Force ou the roller coasters, 
 the paratroopers on the parachutes, and the 
 sailors all over the whole damn park! 
 
 ,f>*
 
 COMISKEY PARK
 
 RIVERVIEW 
 
 "You'll usually fiiid the Air Force on the roller coasters, 
 the paratroopers on the parachutes, and the 
 sailors all over the whole damn park] 
 
 .V*
 
 THE ARAGON 
 
 'Td ask you to sit this out, but I'm a lousy 
 conversationalist too."
 
 THE FOURTH ESTATE 
 
 / 
 
 / 
 
 MAN 
 DECAPITATES 
 WIFE 
 
 BtooOV PICTURES P. II 
 
 TOINTMESON-TlMES 
 
 AX MURDER 
 
 CONTEST 
 
 StE PAGE 3 
 
 I! 
 
 / 
 
 T^k r«^x< <M«>\.| «CMlw*^ *»-f 
 
 xva..**)- *'nAf ^»»t* i^-***. 
 ^HlCAGO^jLY NEWS l«* 1 
 
 HUSBAND SEVERS RELA' 
 f TIQNS WITH WIFE 
 
 j^^| l^vUU^ f^Tgg» 
 
 / 
 
 mb^ 
 
 (Heral^^ *S^^^^ *^^^ "2^ 
 
 MONSTER HACKS 
 NUDE TORSO 
 WITH AX!!! 
 
 AOMJTS FAVaWHG 
 VlVlStCTION 
 
 
 HtU 
 
 ?CItjtcaso5**^^^S CTrtlmttftSi 
 
 MIOWESTERMERPUTS 
 END TO SPOUSES PRO- 
 BRITISH RANTING S 
 
 couLO NOT Tolerate 
 
 LeAWtNG5, CoKFE55eS 
 HU56AN0. 
 
 «aui 
 
 ^45 Chicago's dailies tuight handle a 
 husband-wife ax murder.
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO 
 
 "And please don't call me ^comrade' in class, 
 Miss Liipchek. Save it for the meetings"
 
 HOUSING 
 
 "You'll like this apartiuent. It's stark modern 
 simple and jmictiojial!"
 
 POLITICS 
 
 ^'Do you think deff/nudif/g a clea}i-up is a very good 
 idea ubeii it's me who's riuiuDig for re-election?"
 
 THE SYNDICATE 
 
 "Fn? here on a tip there's a tie-in between some of 
 the banking and gambling interests of the city."
 
 THE SYNDICATE 
 
 'All this is just ci jroiit: I got a bookie joi?it 
 iu the back!"
 
 THE SYNDICATE 
 
 " ' Ixfia y o psca y' looks good in the sixth?!! Never 
 heard of him! What's his number?!"
 
 THE SYNDICATE 
 
 "The raid's off, men! — The Captain's 
 hit the jackpot!"
 
 THE CONVENTIONEERS 
 
 «]|7^// _ / threw the toilet paper out 
 the ivindow! — Now what?!"
 
 THE CONVENTIONEERS 
 
 "Uh — /*;;/ ajraid you have the wrong room.'*
 
 NORTH CLARK STREET 
 
 "What tie need is some little gimmick 
 
 to give the place class! 
 
 .Iff
 
 NORTH CLARK STREET 
 
 'Ya said ya ivanted a dress like that doll was 
 uearin', so I got ya the dress, so shut up!"
 
 NORTH CLARK STREET 
 
 'How do you expect to attract any business 
 serving a lousy drink like this?!"
 
 THE TRANSIENT 
 
 ''Well — 1 could take ya to one on Wabash, 
 hut the) usually expect luggage."
 
 BUG HOUSE SQUARE 
 
 "// that free love stnfj ever catches on, you and well 
 be back on the assembly line at Vuited Cau."
 
 BUG HOUSE SQUARE 
 
 '7 ain*t advocatui' nothing lady. Vm just a little guy. 
 that's tired of lookiu' up at people all the time."
 
 SOUTH HALSTED 
 
 "He says he's a love child, but I say he's a bastard!"
 
 SKID ROW 
 
 ''How about a dime fey a cuppa coffee?"
 
 SKID ROW 
 
 "// ya want quality, go to the Puf?/p Room, 
 Here at Sick's, we stress q//autity!"
 
 SKID ROW 
 
 J /;' 
 
 "Man — that's what I call a drink !" 
 
 •PB-7200-5-SB 
 
 R/T
 
 LAKE MICHIGAN 
 
 ''So I sez to him, 'Kosaloivski, are you tellin' me 
 how to butcher a ho ^?! — / wuz cuttin^ the 
 insides outa pigs before you.\ .\^^'''vC ^1
 
 All the people and places in this book, 
 including the City of Chicago, are 
 obviously fictitious, and any similarity 
 to real people or places is entirely 
 because it was planned that way.
 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS-URBANA 
 
 741.5H361T C001 
 
 THAT TOODLIN' TOWN: A ROWDY BURLESQUE OF 
 
 30112 
 
 025320414