L I E) RAFLY 
 
 OF THE 
 
 UNIVLR5ITY 
 
 Of ILLINOIS 
 
 Sp42V>
 
 BOUND TO PLEASE. 
 
 BY 
 
 HENEY SPICER, 
 
 AriHOB OF "old STYLKS'S;" "SIGHTS AND SOUITDS ;" "a WHITE HA>'D A5D 
 A BLACK THrilB ;" ETC. 
 
 IX TWO VOLUMES. 
 
 YOL I. 
 
 LONDON : 
 
 TINSLEY BROTHERS, 18, CATHERINE ST., STRAND. 
 
 1867. 
 
 lAll Bights Eeserved.']
 
 VrTMAN AWD SOWS, PSINTERs, 
 
 GKEAX QUEEN STEEET, LINCOLN'S INN FIELDS, 
 
 LONDON, W.C.
 
 8^5 
 
 CHAELES WILLIAM SPICEE, ESQ. 
 
 My Dear Brother, 
 
 " BouxD TO Please " — you, at least (who first suggested 
 
 their collection in the present fonn), — I dedicate these j)apers to 
 
 you ; trusting, moreover, that as they have lived among the roses 
 
 rvthat bloom in the pleasant pages of All the Year Bound, some- 
 
 , oj thing of the fragrance thus acquired may give them favour m the 
 
 o eyes of less partial critics. 
 
 J Yours afi'ectionately, 
 
 jSi HENRY SPICER. 
 
 ^7^ 9, York Street, Portmax Square. 
 
 1^
 
 CONTENTS OF TOLtJME I 
 
 A MEEE SCRATCH page 1 
 
 THE TRACK OF WAR 124 
 
 THE LAST OF THE WAR 144 
 
 GOING TO THE FRONT 158 
 
 WAITING FOR CAPUA 178 
 
 ITALY IN THE LEASH 195 
 
 CAMPAIGNING IN THE TYROL 204 
 
 MUTINY ABOARD THE " MINNIE JIMPS ^' 224 
 
 BLACK FLAGS IN THE CHANNEL 248 
 
 GIGANTIC ATTRACTION 270 
 
 SOLID REASONS 288
 
 Digitized by the Internet Archive 
 
 in 2010 with funding from 
 
 University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign 
 
 http://www.archive.org/details/boundtoplease01spic
 
 A MEEE SCEATCE 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 HIS, then, is your answer ? ^^ said George 
 Gosling, in a voice that emotion rendered 
 ahnost inarticulate. 
 
 George was twenty-four. With the 
 famed old baronetcy of which he was the representative, 
 there had descended to him the estate of Gosling 
 Graize, and sixteen thousand a-year. These, with 
 himself, he had placed at the disposition of Miss 
 Mildred Mulcaster, and, from the tone of his obser- 
 vation, it would appear that the young lady had decided 
 in his disfavour. 
 
 Sir George had been taken by surprise. The like 
 may be said of the ingenuous, single-hearted reader, 
 when apprised that Miss Mulcaster had entered into 
 deliberate engagements with her lover, accepting a 
 betrothal ring, supplemented with gifts innumerable ; 
 had written to, or received from him, as many letters
 
 2 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 as an ordinary postman of these degenerate days could 
 lift ; had polked^ deux-tempsed, and otherwise circled 
 with him at least one hundred and fifty miles ; had, in 
 effect, deported herself on all or most occasions (for 
 she was wayward and given to teazing) as an engaged 
 young person should. 
 
 " This, then, is your answer ? '' 
 
 "Yes. Take it,'' said Miss Mulcaster; "and," 
 extending her white hands, "as they say in melodramas, 
 he happy.-" 
 
 She was laughing. But George had not studied the 
 map of that fair face three anxious years for nothing. 
 The laugh was a disguise. Therefore, though stricken 
 with a miserable apprehension, he hesitated for an 
 instant to accept his fate. 
 
 " But, Mildred '' 
 
 " Miss Mulcaster — Sir George Gosling,'' interrupted 
 the young lady, as though reintroducing those parties 
 on a new footing. 
 
 George resumed : " You will, you must forgive me. 
 Mil — Miss Mulcaster — if, for the moment, I cannot 
 successfully imitate your self-possession. It is a great 
 gift. I envy you. I will not ask " 
 
 " Don't. It would be Useless." 
 
 " Mildred, can you justify this conduct ? " 
 
 "I shall not try." 
 
 " I mean, to yourself ? " 
 
 " It is to myself I have already appealed — my calmer 
 self. Flattered at being at length consulted, that 
 extremely sensible and discreet adviser frankly declares 
 that the thing is impracticable — was never, in reality, 
 within the limits of possibility — and that its ever having
 
 A Mere Scratch. 3 
 
 seemed so is a weakness on my — my common selPs 
 part, only to be atoned for by an instant dismissal of 
 the idea by my other self. You understand ? '^ 
 
 '^ Only/^ replied George, with a sad smile, " that 
 the complicated machinery of such a court of appeal 
 would, if generally adopted, greatly diminish the 
 confidence we delight to repose in every act and word 
 of those we love. Ah, Mildred — there, forgive me — 
 we are creatures of habit ; is it only now that you have 
 deemed it worth the pains to inquire, of one or both 
 these differing selves, what were your real feelings 
 towards me ? Noiv ? '' 
 
 '^ No. I knew them. They have never changed,^^ 
 said Mildred, slightly flushing. 
 
 ^' How ! Not changed ? And our union impossible.''^ 
 
 "Quite. I abandon it, taking every consequence. ''' 
 
 " And your words — your professions '^ 
 
 " Go — as bets do — with the stakes ! '' laughed the 
 young beauty, recklessly. But the still augmenting 
 colour entered a sufficing protest against this assump- 
 tion of indifference. 
 
 " And — and those presents ? '^ stammered George. 
 
 ''Await your disposal, sir.^^ 
 
 She pointed haughtily to a side-table, absolutely 
 laden with articles of the costliest kind. 
 
 " Good Heavens ! '' said the young man — " tJiat was 
 not my meaning. I appealed to these things but as 
 witnesses of the position in which we stood to one 
 another. Your acceptance alone gave them value. 
 At least, spare me the pain of looking upon what you 
 approved — accepted — have used, and worn. Bestow 
 them upon whom you will, destroy them, do anything
 
 4 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 but fill my rejected hand with my gifts^ alike deemed 
 worthless/^ 
 
 " I am too easily entreated, much too easily/^ said 
 Miss Mildred, looking so exquisitely beautiful, that 
 poor George^s heart thrilled with a wild despair. 
 ^' But, on certain conditions, I may grant you this one 
 thing. Do you hear, sir ? It must be dis-tinctly 
 provided and understood, that, neither by look, word, 
 nor deed, will you ever recur to the position we have 
 lately held to one another. Do you agree ? " 
 
 " I am at your mercy. But " 
 
 ^^Now, remember, I never threaten. I act,^^ said 
 the imperious young lady. " The coolest footing of 
 ordinary acquaintance. Think of me, when you must 
 think (and don^t say I didn^t frankly warn you against 
 doing so at all), no worse than circumstances seem to 
 demand ; for, somehow, I would like to retain the — 
 the fringe — the hem, though somewhat frayed — of your 
 good opinion — honest simple garment as it was ! And 
 now, Sir George Gosling, as I beheve I have already 
 remarked, farewell ! Be happy.''* 
 
 She rose, with a company-air, to which George 
 would have preferred a stab, and seemed expecting 
 him to leave her. But the young man still hesitated. 
 The enigma was yet unsolved. 
 
 " Miss Mulcaster,'-' he said, very calmly, " I have 
 bowed to your decision, and, to the utmost of my 
 ability, I will observe j^our somewhat difficult condi- 
 tions. I put aside all pretence of a right to question 
 you, and, only as a matter of further generosity on 
 your part, do I entreat of you to furnish me with some 
 clue to the fault — the misadventure — I know not how
 
 A Mere Scratch, 5 
 
 to term it — that has produced this change. You see 
 I do not plead for a reversal of the sentence, I do but 
 inquire its provocation." 
 
 Mildred looked sorrowfully at the imploring face of 
 her young lover. 
 
 " You ask what you have done ? Nothing.'^ 
 
 "Nothing? No fault?" 
 
 " None — of your own." 
 
 '' What, then, can you mean ? " 
 
 "The errors of one generation," said the young 
 lady, gravely, "are frequently adopted by its suc- 
 cessors. So far. Sir George, you cannot be held 
 guiltless, and must, at all events, bear the penalty, 
 like others of your name." 
 
 "My ancestors have not, I believe, been wholly 
 undistinguished," replied the young man, with quiet 
 dignity. " True, in the course of a descent of more 
 than twenty generations, sume unworthy deed may 
 have cast a temporary stain on our escutcheon, but " 
 
 " The crime to which I refer," said Miss Mulcaster, 
 puttiug her handkerchief to her eyes, " has been trans- 
 mitted — wilfully and wittingly — from sire to son. 
 Your n — n " 
 
 The word was lost in a suffocating sob. Mildred 
 was weeping without restraint. 
 
 " My ivhat ? " said her bewildered lover. 
 
 " N — na — name ! " 
 
 "Name! What name?" 
 
 " Nonsense ! You know I like G — George," sobbed 
 the young lady. "It's the — oth — the other. How 
 your e — eldest ancestor could have c — come by it, is 
 a m — mys — mystery. Stupid eld b — b — booby ! "
 
 6 A Mere Scratch, 
 
 '^ Booby ! '' repeated George, aghast. 
 
 '^ Enough of this/^ exclaimed the spirited young 
 beauty. '' No power on earth would induce me to 
 appear in society burdened with the style and title of 
 Lady Gosling. And that is the secret you wanted.-'^ 
 
 There was something in her manner that, enamoured 
 as he was, irritated George. He drew himself up 
 rather haughtily. 
 
 '' Seeing that it is the prevailing custom,^^ he 
 remarked, ^^for ladies to assume the name of those 
 they honour with their hands. Miss Mulcaster must 
 surely have had this terrific condition within her 
 contemplation when she engaged herself to my un- 
 worthy self.^^ 
 
 ^^ She had,^^ replied the young lady — " she had, 
 however, reasonable grounds for hoping that the 
 absurdity which, you yourself must admit, attaches to 
 your name, might be softened — either by returning to 
 what, I make no doubt, was the original spelling — 
 Gausselin — or by the simple introduction of a ^ in the 
 middle, Gostling, you know — which, with the o very 
 long, wouldn^t be so bad. Both these hints were 
 suggested to you — once by dear mamma, once by 
 Louey — but, except eliciting a display of temper for 
 which, I dare say, you were afterwards sorry (if you 
 were not, it wasn^t my fault), the remonstrance had no 
 eflPect.^^ 
 
 " Fancy remonstrating with a man on the name his 
 fathers have borne for six centuries ! '^ said George. 
 ^' I should have been greatly to blame if I had allowed 
 you for one moment to believe that I could comply 
 with either of your ingenious schemes for the amelio-
 
 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 ration of my patronymic. Still, Miss Mulcaster 
 permitted her engagement to continue.''^ 
 
 ^^She did. (It^s a capital idea of yours, that of 
 speaking in the third person, as if I were at the 
 antipodes.) Miss Mulcaster, sir, acted as you describe. 
 She was, in some respects, a very remarkable woman 
 — possessing considerable strength of mind, and 
 singular persistence in purpose. She fought with her 
 own prejudices, and imagined, at one time, she had 
 overcome them. She liked — she honoured — nay, well, 
 she loved — the bearer of a hideous name. But, under 
 the actual burden of that name, her nature would have 
 pined, succumbed. ^^ 
 
 " Enough, Miss Mulcaster,'^ said the young baronet, 
 thoroughly roused. " I have the honour to wish you 
 good morning.-'^ 
 
 " I am not jesting, Geo — Sir George '' (and the 
 young lady became suddenly grave). "Do not leave 
 me under a false impression. I did strive — strive 
 honestly — to overcome what you are free to call my 
 folly, but in vain. It is most unfortunate. Any other 
 name I could have borne. But, so long as you remain 
 a Gosling*, George, I cannot, will not, be your wife.^^ 
 
 '^ You are aware that a change of name involves the 
 loss of the estate; but, Mildred,^^ added the young 
 lover, ''if you are content to be poor '^ 
 
 " I am not/' said Mildred, frankly. 
 
 " Can this be so ? Xeither share my poverty nor 
 my name ?'' 
 
 " I have proved to you that I cannot help myself," 
 said Mildred. "I am a naughty, foolish girl, and 
 should have no excuse, had I not, with all my might,
 
 8 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 combated this strange feeling. You are very good 
 and generous, and, if I have pretended to treat the 
 matter lightly, it was because I dared not approach it 
 in a serious spirit. George, forgive me '' — and the 
 beautiful head, under the influence of one of Mildred's 
 rare touches of feeling, stooped penitently forward — 
 " all that I have said is true. Granted, I should have 
 known my weakness sooner ; but better late than tuo 
 late/' And she held out her hand. 
 
 " For pity's sake, reflect," said George. 
 
 " That's nonsense,'^ retorted Mildred, imperious to 
 the last. ^^ George, I tell you it is all over; shake 
 hands, and go." 
 
 Sir George took the little cold white hand, adorned 
 with one ring — a beautiful sapphire — his first gift (she 
 had retained that), and held it wistfully for a moment. 
 In one month it was to have been his own. He looked 
 at it, dropped it as if it had given him a mortal sting, 
 gazed once in Mildred's face, and left her. 
 
 As the young baronet rode down the lime avenue 
 just beginning to be touched with the first tints of 
 autumn, he felt as if the summer of his own life had 
 departed too. He might live on this many a j^ear, 
 live to pardon the wrong he had sustained, live to 
 marry some other than Mildred, perhaps to tell, in 
 after years — names suppressed — the warning story of 
 his first youthful passion. But the first, the peerless 
 flower of love, had been rudely stricken down un- 
 gathered ; and there are hearts which, in such a case, 
 disdain to produce another. 
 
 George reviewed the whole history of his blighted 
 aS*ection. He had known Mildred nearly twenty years
 
 A Mere Scratch. 9 
 
 — at all events, at tlieir first interview, the young lady, 
 clad in a white spencer, a frill, and a coral necklace, 
 came, led by her nurse, to pass the day with his sister 
 Clara. The intimacy increased. There were adven- 
 turous excursions upon a rocking-horse — an exceed- 
 ingly restive animal, which Mildred would only consent 
 to mount on condition that George restrained him 
 firmly by the bit. There was a long-remembered 
 gooseberry-raid, in which blood was shed and a frock 
 seriously compromised ; likewise a long and fond in- 
 spection of that inexhaustible phenomenon, the golden 
 fish ; and, finally, a tiptoe visit to the extraordinary 
 novelty of a chaffinches nest, redeemed, at a ransom of 
 twopence, from the gardener^s boy. 
 
 Even at this early period, the question of a matri- 
 monial alliance had been apparently mooted, since 
 George, rescuing his love from a gloomy dungeon of 
 three chairs, escaped with her on the rocking-horse, 
 the lady holding on, with difficulty, by the untrust- 
 worthy tail. Overtaken, in a distant province of 
 Tartary, by a pursuing band composed of Clara Gos- 
 ling, the fugitives surrendered, but only on condition 
 of being united on the spot, the ceremony being 
 obligingly performed by the pursuer herself. 
 
 Upon the death of General Mulcaster, his widow 
 gave up her town-house, and, with her two children — 
 Mildred being at that time thirteen, and Louisa ten 
 — came to reside at The Haie, a pretty but not very 
 extensive property, some five or six miles from 
 Gosling Graize. 
 
 There was no talk now of little husbands and wives. 
 Miss Mulcaster, aged thirteen^ understood no ribald
 
 10 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 jesting witli lier dignity. With tins young lady the 
 process of spoiling — instituted by her father — had 
 been carried out with such fidelity and success by her 
 mother^ that_, but for the child^s really generous and 
 loving nature, she would have been the most intoler- 
 able little tyrant that ever ruled a household. Few 
 could resist the spell of her marvellous beauty ; fewer 
 still the thousand witcheries the little despot had at 
 her command. As for the household themselves, they 
 had long been willing bond-slaves, the only strife 
 among them being which should be the readier to 
 obey. 
 
 It was, perhaps, sister Louey, bright and clever as 
 her elder, and so pretty that, but for a sister so un- 
 fairly fair, sJie might have been the spoiled one — it 
 was Louey alone who dared, on very great and critical 
 occasions, to run counter to the sovereign's will. On 
 some of these, poor Louey — like other too-forward 
 revolutionists — had been the victim, of a cruel treachery. 
 Her mother — her very mother — after instigating her, 
 by every species of argument, to insurrection, would, 
 if the movement failed, after a feeble demonstration 
 of support, desert her ally, and, craven as she was, 
 purchase immunity by openly denouncing the mutiny 
 she had fomented ! 
 
 There had occurred one period of intense perplexity. 
 It had been hinted by a devoted band of real well- 
 wishers — nay, was tacitly admitted at The Haie itself 
 — that a brief interval of school between Miss Mul- 
 caster's childhood and womanhood would be decidedly 
 advantageous to the latter. But how to effect it ? 
 School ! School for the indomitable Mildred — petted,
 
 A Mere Scratch, 11 
 
 wilful idol^ wliom one and all had joined in placing 
 beyond tlie pale of restraint or reproof of any kind ! 
 But for the heroic devotion of Louisa, nothing would, 
 perhaps, have been done. She, who was to have 
 remained at home, undertook not only to present the 
 project to her sister^s mind, but, in the event of suc- 
 cess, to accompany her, as school-mate and general 
 attendant, her duties being to dress, soothe, and 
 comfort her, assist her with her lessons, take her 
 punishments, if any, and generally abet and promote 
 all such whims, fancies, and eccentricities as might be 
 found compatible with scholastic life. 
 
 Louey's proposal elicited but little surprise. It was, 
 everybody felt, a natural thing, and merely fell to 
 Louey, as it were, in the line of duty, no other slave 
 being eligible for the office required. So, gravely 
 kissing her mother, as though she were bound on 
 some remote and perilous mission, Louisa sought her 
 sister. 
 
 To the unspeakable amazement of the whole house. 
 Miss Mulcaster received the unexpected representation 
 not only with clemency, but with pleasure. She had 
 been in search of a new idea. She was a little 
 wearied of always having her own way. " School V 
 School was the very thing she had been wanting. 
 (Louey assented.) When should they go ? To- 
 day ? 
 
 In about three months, Mrs. Mulcaster made her 
 final selection of a school. There were but seven 
 pupils, and the terms, owing to the carriage and ladies^- 
 maids, were somewhat high; but the opportunity of 
 two vacancies with Mrs. Lofthouse was not to be
 
 12 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 let slip, and tliitherj accordingly, the young ladies 
 repaired. 
 
 About tliis period George Gosling quitted Eton, 
 and went to a German university ; aud, with the ex- 
 ception of a few weeks, during which he and Mildred 
 did not meet, was not again in England until the 
 decease of his father summoned him, at the ag-e of 
 twenty-two, to take possession of Gosling Graize and 
 the oldest baronetcy in Britain. 
 
 Prepared as George was to find his little wife grown 
 into a lovely woman, he was absolutely startled by her 
 excessive beauty, and scarcely less so by the extra- 
 ordinary facility with which she seemed to have 
 acquired accomplishments not often perfected in an 
 ordinary lifetime. Her governess, Mrs. Lofthouse, 
 had managed, with excellent tact, to win the child^s 
 love and confidence from the outset, and, becoming 
 warmly interested in the beautiful but undisciplined 
 little genius that had come under her care, laboured 
 so successfully to develop her singular gifts, that when, 
 at the end of four years, the young lady, duly com- 
 pleted, made her entry into society, she at once carried 
 it by storm. 
 
 George Gosling, returning to England just as Miss 
 Mulcaster made her triumphant sally from the ambush 
 of Mrs. Lofthouse^s, hastily enrolled himself among 
 her slaves, and, skilfully using the opportunities 
 afforded at certain seasons by the vicinity of the 
 country residences, soon displaced his many competi- 
 tors, and became an affianced husband. 
 
 It was an unwise proceeding of the rejected lover, 
 as he rode mournfully under the yellowing trees, to
 
 A Merc Scratch. 13 
 
 trace back tliis history. Before it was lialf finished, 
 his stolid resignation had melted quite away. " Not 
 
 win her, after all ? And who — ivlio, then ■'^ He 
 
 looked round, as if to assure himself that he was not 
 riding in a dream. Not so happy. There were the 
 familiar paths and trees. He passed the famous larch- 
 tree, pride of The Haie, one hundred and thirty feet 
 from crest to root. 
 
 *' Steadfast old boy V said George, giving it an 
 en\rious lash with his whip as he passed. '' Quiet, 
 jade,^^ to his startled mare. " Will you dance ? Ho, 
 then, for a rattling gallop ! Ho for a frantic leap ! 
 Going — going to be married \'' he shouted, waving 
 his hat in the air as his mare bounded forward. "But 
 ho, the bride ! Whereas my bride? Hurrah, my 
 ladies ! Who will be Dame Gosling ? Stay — I have 
 it. I will have my fancies — my caprices, too. Home 
 — home ! And, as I am a living man, the first woman 
 I speak with — marriageable and consenting — shall be 
 my wife ! I swear it — I swear it. Yes, by this living 
 face of nature. ^^ He pulled up, took off his hat, and 
 turned his excited face to the sky. " And may my 
 pledge, if broken, bear the penalty of a violated oath ! 
 I will ride home, and the first woman I meet shall be 
 my wife. Conditioned always " — his heart gave a 
 half-hopeful thrill — " that she will not relent. And, 
 by Heaven, I will put that to the issue V 
 
 The next moment he had wheeled his horse, and 
 was speeding towards The Haie. As fortune would 
 have it, Mildred was coming out, flower-basket and 
 scissors in hand. Gravity — a rare visitant — always 
 became Mildred. She was grave now, and when, as
 
 14 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 George, dismounting and leading liis horse, came to 
 meet her, she hfted up her violet eyes with not well- 
 pleased astonishment, the young man thought he had 
 never till that moment fully realised the true character 
 of her loveliness. 
 
 ^' Returned V she said, the smooth brow slightly 
 contracting, but expanding again, as she noticed his 
 agitated face. ^^ Heavens, what is the matter V 
 
 " You ask that !" said George, bitterly. Then he 
 added : '' Miss Mulcaster, I have returned to tell you 
 what I have already done in acquiescence with your 
 decision. In losing you, I lose all that constitutes the 
 worth of human affection. Henceforth, it is a matter 
 of indifference to me what objects cross me, or asso- 
 ciate their interest with mine. So, listen ; you who, 
 for two years, owned yourself my affianced wife. My 
 heart, Mildred, recognises no degrees of content. If 
 you will not be my wife, all women are the same to me. 
 I have sworn in the face of Heaven, that, if you per- 
 sist in this destruction of my hopes, I will return by 
 the way I came, and take to wife the first woman I 
 may see — no matter of whSt station — willing to accept 
 what you have cast away.^'' 
 
 Mildred gazed at him for a moment, as if consider- 
 ing whether he were in jest or not. Then she burst 
 into a silvery laugh, and clapped her little hands like 
 a pleased child. 
 
 " An excellent idea ! George, George — what a 
 romance it would make ! May I tell mamma ?'^ 
 
 "You do not believe me, then?" said the young 
 man, with heightened colour. 
 
 Mildi^ed's manner changed :
 
 A Mere Scratch. 15 
 
 '^ Believe that you would so far forget what is due 
 to yourself, your friends^ your renowned ancestors^ of 
 whom you are so proud — believe that^ had you actually 
 formed a resolution so preposterous^ you would have 
 been guilty of the additional folly of using it against 
 me, as a weapon of insult and menace V 
 
 '* Farewell, Miss Mulcaster/^ said Georo-e. 
 
 And he rode away. 
 
 When Mrs. Mulcaster and her younger daughter 
 returned from their drive, they perceived at a glance 
 that something had ruffled the tranquillity of the 
 spoiled sovereign; and, by dint of respectful cross- 
 examination, at length elicited the startling truth. 
 George was dismissed ! George — the old playmate, 
 friend, accepted suitor, betrothed husband — banished 
 to the Siberia of distant civility, without hope of 
 recall ! 
 
 Perhaps, for the first time in her life, Mrs. Mulcas- 
 ter experienced a burning desire to box her darling's 
 ears. The latter had never been at the pains to con- 
 ceal her aversion to George^s unlucky name, but none 
 dreamed that it was so deeply rooted. Sacrifice an 
 amiable, honourable man, whom she unquestionably 
 liked (not to mention sixteen thousand a year !), for a 
 name, a word ! Dismiss the familiar George into the 
 region of ordinary acquaintance — perhaps alienate him 
 altogether — perhaps goad him into some foolish 
 alHance, such as, in his passion, he had hinted at ! 
 
 '' Child, child V cried Mrs. Mulcaster, breaking all 
 allegiance, and wringing her hands in despair, " what 
 — what have you done 'f" 
 
 The child evinced on this occasion a less imperious
 
 16 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 bearings and made a far more feeble fight tban migbt 
 have been expected of her. Still, the necessity of de- 
 fending her prerogative induced her to vindicate with 
 some warmth her title — so long allowed — to do pre- 
 cisely as she pleased. She really could not understand 
 the unprovoked attack thus made upon her, and by 
 those from whom, of all others, she had a right to look 
 for solace and support. Two to one (Louey had not 
 opened her lips) was usually considered unfair odds, 
 and, but for a sense of duty, she would dechne a con- 
 troversy conducted on such principles. 
 
 What was the duty ? Why, the duty she owed her 
 sex, which was that of her assailants, to check the 
 proud pretensions, the cool self-sufficiency, of those 
 who preferred their suit, just as if such a thing as 
 refusal was not to be dreamed of. 
 
 Consented ? Well, yes, in a manner, she had. 
 But that was beside the question. She was saying, 
 when interrupted by clamour, or was going to say, 
 that really any young lady who, at her own expense, 
 administered a wholesome rebuke to such pretenders, 
 deserved well of her sex, her country, and her family, 
 not, at all events, to be chidden like an infant by those 
 to whom she fled for sue — for sue — succ — succour in 
 her mise — misery ; — concluding with a burst of tears, 
 which completed the business, and caused the much- 
 injured beauty to be soothed, entreated, idolised, for 
 the rest of the day. 
 
 Speculation now set in. 
 
 '^ But whom,"*^ resumed Mrs. Mulcaster, ^^ can 
 George marry ? Suppose him serious in this mad 
 idea, it is the merest chance in the world that he
 
 A Mere Scratch, 17 
 
 should meet with any woman of respectable station 
 before reaching home. Suppose it were a village-girl^ 
 gathering fagots ! Imagine a gipsy ! You may 
 laugh, but, take my word for it, George Gosling is the 
 man, of all others, to adhere to a resolution once 
 made, however intrinsically absurd. Ridicule would 
 not deter him. His regard for a pledge, or promise 
 of any kind, is almost fanatical. Let me see. At his 
 own lodge, he^s happily safe. There are only the old 
 people. Sally Downey^s gone to service. There would 
 have been a chance for Sally ! And she was a plump, 
 rosy little woman. IVe seen him chat and laugh 
 with her.^^ 
 
 ^'Perhaps," said Miss Louisa, unguardedly,^^ George 
 recollected that Sally was the usual portress." 
 
 " He did nothing of the sort," said Mildred, 
 decisively. " I wonder, Louey, you dare to make so 
 unworthy a suggestion." 
 
 " It was a foolish observation, my love," said her 
 mother. "Your sister, I am sure, already regrets 
 having made it." 
 
 " No, I don^t," said Louey, hardily. ~ 
 
 " Hush, my dear. (Footstool nearer to your 
 sister. So.) Now then, who is there at Gosling 
 Graize ?" 
 
 " No visitors at all," said Louisa. " As to the 
 servants, if you can possibly allude to thou, they^re 
 almost all oldish and — and fattish — the cook enormous! 
 Mrs. Mapes, the housekeeper, is laid up with rheu- 
 matism. But really, dearest mother, we may spare 
 ourselves these grotesque conjectures. That George 
 will do his best to keep his wicked vow, or whatev^er 
 
 c
 
 18 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 he cliooses to call it, I tliink very probable. But his 
 safety lies in the respect of those about him. Not one 
 of the household would be so forgetful of decency, so 
 wanting in duty, as to regard such a proposal as any- 
 thing more than a boyish jest !" 
 
 Mrs. Mulcaster coughed gently. She had seen 
 something more of the world and its ways than 
 her daughter. That look of manifest uneasiness 
 provoked the petted Mildred. 
 
 "I do think, mamma, it is positively cruel in you!'''' 
 she said, in a fretting tone. 
 
 " ' Cruel,' dear ? In me ? To do what ?" 
 
 '' To make so much of such utter nonsense. 
 You must see how it annoys me — yet you pursue the 
 subject.''^ 
 
 "Pursue, my dear! I did not say one word/' 
 pleaded poor Mrs. Mulcaster. " I appeal to Louey.'' 
 
 Louey came gallantly to the rescue. 
 
 " Mamma said nothing, Mildred. It was I.'' 
 
 ^' I am obliged, Louisa, by your flat contradiction," 
 said Mildred, with dignity; "but I never said 
 mamma had spoken. Her looks, however, were 
 eloquent — and I repeat ■''' 
 
 " Mildred, Mildred,'' said her mother, " this is too 
 bad. Is it not, Louisa ?" 
 
 " It is unkind and unfau'," said the latter, warmly, 
 "and I " 
 
 Mildred burst into tears. 
 
 "Louisa, Louisa!" exclaimed Mrs. Mulcaster, 
 turning fiercely on her ally, " how dare you address 
 your elder sister in that tone ? Do, I beg, restrain 
 that impetuosity of temper. There ! Wipe the
 
 A :!dere Scratch. 19 
 
 pretty eyes. Come, now — compose yom'self. Hark, 
 love ! A visitor !" 
 
 Mildred started and became composed. 
 
 A few moments and Colonel Lugard was announced. 
 He had been taking his evening ride, and, as was his 
 frequent wont, dropped in for a chat with his fair 
 neighbours. 
 
 In the course of conversation the colonel observed : 
 
 " By-the-bye, I have had what I might almost call 
 an adventure ! I was cantering up to the Graize, to 
 have a word with Gosling. Good fellow, George. 
 Rides capitally to hounds. I wish heM take them 
 himself, out of the hands of that mere horse-jockey, 
 Screwtop ! As I was saying, I was riding up the 
 park, when my horse made a furious swerve. It 
 needed the old dragoon grip, to avoid measuring my 
 length on George^s turf, so startled was my usually 
 steady old hunter at what he had seen. And what do 
 you think it was ? A young lady. Miss Mulcaster. 
 Yes, Miss Louisa — a beautiful young lady ! We had 
 come suddenly upon her, seated between two trees, 
 and either her surprising beauty, or else a scarlet 
 thing that covered her head and shoulders, had 
 thrown my horse into the consternation I have 
 described. I had managed to drop my whip in the 
 manoeuvre; but even before my groom. Will Crooke, 
 could ride up, the young lady had stepped gracefully 
 forward, and placed it in my hand. Her hood fell 
 back as she did so — and, by Jove ! '^ The colonel 
 stopped, as if quite overcome by the remembrance. 
 
 "Who upon earth could she be?" said Mrs. Mul- 
 caster, looking at her daughters. 
 
 c 2
 
 20 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 ^M\TiOj indeed ?" resumed the colonel. ^^ She was 
 plainly, nav, liumbly dressed. I should call her of the 
 cottage class, for I noticed that her hand, though 
 well-shapen, and critically clean, was not especially 
 white, as if it had not disdained rough work. Her 
 manner, however, was perfect. A precious old churl 
 she must have thought me; for, so much was I taken 
 aback by her singular beauty^ that I merely clutched 
 my whip, grunted, and jogged on. I wish I had 
 stopped. I wish I had gone back. If Will Crooke 
 hadn^t been behind me, I think I should.''^ 
 
 ^^ Yery well, colonel,^^ said Mrs. Mulcaster. '^ I am 
 coming to call upon Mrs. Lugard to-morrow, and it 
 will be my painful but imperative duty to place her on 
 her guard.-*^ 
 
 ^' It will be a most neighbourly precaution,^^ replied 
 the gay veteran ; ^' and, in order to assist your 
 admirable scheme for the promotion of domestic 
 harmony at Brambridge, I give you authority to add, 
 that it is my fixed resolve to find out, by hock or — 
 more probably — by Crooke, who this damsel is !'' 
 
 "Did you see Geo — Sir George Gosling ?^^ asked 
 the lady of the house. 
 
 " 1 did not see Sir George Gosling, my dear lady. 
 They told me he had ridden over hither, and would 
 possibly not return to dinner. I thought it quite 
 possible,^^ added the colonel, with a sly glance at 
 Mildred. 
 
 Shortly thereafter the visitor took his leave. 
 
 Mrs. Mulcaster, who had been watching her eldest 
 born with stealthy solicitude, now sat down beside 
 her on the sofa^ and took her passive hand. *
 
 A Mere Scratch. 21 
 
 '' How pale you look^ my own darling V^ she began. 
 " That wicked George ! I declare I cannot forgive 
 him. Vexing my pretty rose.'^ 
 
 '^1 am going to bed/^ responded the flower 
 addressed. *^ Come up to me^ some of you, in two 
 hours, and see if I require anything. Knock softly, 
 and, if I dou^t answer, go away.''^ 
 
 And her majesty withdrew. 
 
 But she did not go to bed. Mildred sat looking in 
 her glass for half an hour. It was a habit she had, 
 holding these tete-a-tetes with herself. Howsoever, 
 on this occasion the parties did not agree. She rose 
 pettishly, went to the window, and leaned forth. 
 Restless, and out of sorts as she was, the calm face of 
 nature, preparing for repose, seemed to rebuke with 
 its serenity the selfish passions that seethed within 
 her perplexed bosom. Conscience, suddenly awaking, 
 began, in accents stern and inexorable — more distinct, 
 as it seemed, in the vesper-hush — to accuse her in 
 such wise that her wilful heart gave way. She began, 
 culprit- like, to palliate her doings. 
 
 " I was mad,^^ she found herself murmuring, as in 
 miserable extenuation. " I was not mistress of 
 myself. The resolution came'^ — (from the days of 
 Eve, temptation has always " come'') — " on the sud- 
 den. If I had reflected— reasoned. But I never can 
 reflect. Besides,'' she continued, gaining courage in 
 her self- vindication, " I am not sure that, after all, I 
 was so very wrong. Gosling ! Lady Gosling ! Too 
 absurd! Perhaps I expected that he would have 
 reasoned with me. I think I remember being angry 
 that he didn't. Then to be threatened I Stay,
 
 22 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 thouglij did lie tlireaten ? Good Heaven ! if lie slioiild 
 do it ! Who can this girl be, cast in his way at this 
 unhappy moment ? AVhat shall I do ? What can be 
 done ? Fool that I have been ! false to my word, to 
 my peace ; for now I hiow that I loved him, and, in 
 refusing him for his detestable name, I have but 
 proved myself a truer Gosling than he ! '' 
 
 With something between a giggle and a sob, the 
 beautiful head sank down, and the voice lost itself in 
 genuine tears. 
 
 When the obedient Louisa, followed by a maid 
 bearing tea and other restoratives, came as com- 
 manded to her sister^s chamber, a startling change 
 had come over the spoiled one. She was affable, not 
 to say humble — thanked and caressed her sister, as she 
 had not done since their schooldays — sent her love and 
 duty to dearest mamma (who received the latter con- 
 signment, at all events, with profound astonishment)— 
 declared she was well, better, in fact, than usual, and 
 begged to be left quite alone. 
 
 CHAPTEE II. 
 
 Gosling Geaize had been all that day, since the 
 meridian, in a considerable stir. Mrs. Turnover, the 
 cook, had received an unexpected visit from her 
 niece, Esther Yann, a young lady holding the lucra- 
 tive post of unremunerated nursery-governess in a 
 poor but respectable family some few miles distant. 
 
 Esther was little more than seventeen, but had.
 
 A Mere Scrafch. 23 
 
 like Bellario^s representative, a miud " more elder 
 than lier years. '^ A riclier rosebud than Esther never 
 brightened a cottage garden. AVhat might have 
 fallen to Esther^s lot, had she been born in a higher 
 station, we cannot say. As it was, she merely won 
 all the hearts with which the course of a quiet humble 
 existence brought her in contact. She had known no 
 schoohng beyond what was attainable in her native 
 village ; all she knew beside, and that was not a little, 
 being due to self-education and industry. 
 
 Esther was abeady known at the Graize, and her 
 unlooked-for appearance, at a moment, too, when the 
 master^s absence left everybody more at liberty, 
 created a complete jubilee; all the domestics, save 
 Mrs. Mapes, the housekeeper, who was an invalid, 
 vying with each other to make welcome their bright 
 young visitor. 
 
 ^^ If ever I see such a blessed creetur in my life ! " 
 said Dolly, the dairymaid. " She have no more pride 
 than my hold slipper V^ 
 
 Certainly, the object in question — frayed at the 
 edges, cracked in the sole, and exhibiting an orifice 
 at the toe — could have small excuse for the vice 
 referred to. 
 
 " She^s well enough, for the matter of tJiat/^ said 
 Mrs. Turnover, with affected indifference. 
 
 "Excuse me, ma'am," said Gertrude Cornish, the 
 housemaid, " but 1 don't think you're as proud as you 
 justly ought to be. Being as she howes to tjou her 
 tiptop hedication — which she's fit to kip a school her- 
 self — why, you ought to be double proud of such a 
 consekence."
 
 24 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 ^' I done my best for to putt her in the way/^ said 
 Mrs. Turnover, modestly, '' but she ■'ave ^elped her- 
 self wonderfully since. So I thought it were better 
 for to let her alone.^''' 
 
 " S'pose she^ll marry soon, and stock a dairy-farm," 
 observed Dolly, to whom this was the very climax of 
 ambitious hope. 
 
 " She might have married a doctor," said Mrs. 
 Turnover, " but I wouldn^t hear on it. An 'ectic, 
 sicky young man, and hadnH no patients but himself, 
 which, my dear, it didn^t pay." 
 
 "A doctor !" cried Gertrude. " She might marry 
 a duke ! Werry likely ic/7/." 
 
 The hardihood of this prophecy almost took away 
 Mrs. Tumover^s breath, but, recovering, she proposed 
 that, master being absent, they should adjourn to the 
 great hall, there to meet her niece, on the latter's 
 return from a ramble in the woods, in order to show 
 her the family pictures adorning that apartment. 
 
 Almost as they entered it, the pretty girl, fresh 
 and rosy from her scamper, made her appearance, and 
 told them of her meeting with Colonel Lugard. They 
 then proceeded to examine the hall, which contained, 
 besides the pictures, many family relics, some fine 
 suits of armour, and other objects of interest. 
 
 "What werry broad ioes they seem to ^ave ^ad in 
 those days !" remarked Dolly, examining one of the 
 suits. 
 
 " S^pose wearin^ harmour giv^ bunions," was the 
 conjecture of Mrs. Turnover. 
 
 Esther suggested that, as steel and stockings might 
 not act comfortably together, it was not impos-
 
 A Mere Scratch. 25 
 
 sible room was allowed for tlie intervention of a 
 shoe. 
 
 " Harmour^s wuss tlian nothin^ at all, now-a-davs/^ 
 observed the cook. " Cannons, g^ns, and pistils does 
 it ; don't they, Esther ?" 
 
 Miss Vann responded that, in her opinion, a gentle- 
 man provided with a light field-piece, a rifle, and a 
 revolver, might prove a troublesome opponent, even 
 for a human iron-clad. 
 
 Mrs. Turnover, who was of full habit, though 
 hardly, as Miss Mulcaster had affirmed, " enormous," 
 now took a little repose in an arm-chair, after which 
 the party proceeded to inspect the pictures, Mrs. 
 Turnover continuing her services as cicerone. 
 
 " ' Sir 'Ildebrand de Gosling, 1428 '—that is, it 
 were him, but he's rubbed out, all but his dog," said 
 the guide. 
 
 '^ Law ! what a pity ! " said Dolly. 
 
 " Which, Mrs. Mapes told me, it on'y makes him 
 the more waluable," continued Mrs. Turnover. 
 " ^ Leftenant-General Sir Hedered Gosling, twelfth 
 barrownight.' Wasn't lie sl 'ansum man ? " 
 
 " Why's he a-turnin' of his back to the fightin' ? " 
 asked the captious critic, Dolly. " That ain't like a 
 soldier." 
 
 Esther hinted that the artist might have experienced 
 some difficulty in arranging that the General should, 
 at one and the same time, give his attention to the 
 battle and his face to the observer. 
 
 '''Sir Gilbert Gosling, banker and citizen,'" an- 
 nounced their guide. " Rayther a fat 'un." 
 
 " ' Thrice Lord Mayor of London,' which explains
 
 26 A Mere Scratcli, 
 
 the plienomenon/^ said Esther, laughing, and ex- 
 hibiting two dimples which lay in ambush in her rosy 
 cheeks. 
 
 '^ And now we comes to the ladies/^ resumed Mrs. 
 Turnover. " ' Dame Winifred Dorothea de Gosling^/ 
 ' Miss Halithea Gosling.'' Pve heard say thissun was 
 the beauty of the house, warn^t never married, lived 
 single all her life, and died a old maid.^^ 
 
 Dolly sighed. The cook's way of putting it gave 
 the calamity treble force. 
 
 " Poor young creetur ! and she so pretty ! Cut off 
 in her prime ! '"' 
 
 " ' Died 1 703, ' ^tat 92,' '' read the cook. '' Well, 
 that ain't so wonderful ! Eat at ninety-two? Stop, 
 though. What's ' getat,' Esther ? " 
 
 Her niece was absorbed in contemplation of a 
 portrait at the other end of the hall ; but she heard 
 and answered the appeal. 
 
 ^^'Aged,' dear." 
 
 ^' Come, that wan't so bad," said Mrs. Turnover. 
 "If she couldn't get a husband in ninety year, it 
 wan't worth trying no longer, so my lady giv' in." 
 
 "• I shouldn't like to die a old maid," observed 
 Dolly. " Should yon, ma'am ? " 
 
 "Being a widow, I can't be expected to realise 
 anything so frightful, you see," responded the lady 
 addressed. " If you means to ast me, woold I marry 
 again ? then I makes anser that I've turned it over in 
 my mind — and my conclusion aire, I woold. It was 
 my dear husband's last wishes and words. ' Barbary,' 
 he ses, squeedgin' my hand, ' I han't selfige ; marry 
 again — marry whensoever you're ast to. If you could
 
 A Mere Scratch. 27 
 
 make fifty men as ^appy as youVe made me^ why, 
 make ^em. Don^t marry a baker, nor don^t ha' 
 nothin' to say to a night-porter. Has to a pleaseman 
 — cut ^im dead. It makes unregular hours. To 'ave 
 your husband breakfasting when you're at supper, 
 and wisey-worsey, is far from comforrable. I should 
 prefer my old perfession. Adoo,' which,'' added the 
 good lady, wiping her eyes, " he were a hare-dresher." 
 
 " A what, ma'am ? " asked Dolly. 
 
 " Cut and dressed 'air," explained Mrs. Turnover. 
 "Yes, sich was his conclusive obserwations " — (Mr. 
 Turnover's final remarks, as reported by his lady, 
 might have filled a moderate volume), — " and sich, 
 ladies, is my feelins. I'm in no hurry, but if master 
 marries anybody as isn't — isn't to my mind — as I'm 
 very much afeard indeed he will — then I don't mind 
 sayin' that I should except the first respeckful offer as 
 is made me. A^Tiere's Esther got to ? " 
 
 " What pictur's that, she's looking at so long ?" 
 asked the dairymaid. 
 
 Mrs. Turnover waddled a little way in the direction 
 of her niece, and came back laughing. 
 
 '^ It's the pictur of master, took by Sir Philip's 
 orders, three years ago. It was hung in that dark 
 corner, 'cause it looked so new. She thinks it's one 
 of them old Goslings. We won't tell her yet." 
 
 As they approached, the girl started from her 
 reverie. 
 
 " Aunt, aunt, who was tltis ? If ever there were a 
 real hero Gosling, here he is ! Tell me, tell me 
 quickly something about him. Soldier ? Statesman ? 
 Poet ? He must have been one of these. What a
 
 28 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 brow ! And oli, wliat expression ! " continued 
 Esther, clasping lier liands in a sort of rapture. 
 '^Dear_, brave eyes! you look as if everything vile, 
 pitiful, dishonest, must wither up before you ! Aunt, 
 look you, I would trust this man before the whole 
 world. Look at that mouth, sweet, yet resolute. 
 Strong will, too. I should not like to argue with you, 
 Sir Greorge de Gosling, if that be your name. For, in 
 the first place, I know you would be in the right ; 
 and, in the second, that you would invariably 
 get your way. If ever I loved man, it would be 
 yoii ! ^^ 
 
 "My dear, my dear ! '^ said Mrs. Turnover, hastily, 
 "Remember, you are talking to a young gentle- 
 man ! '' 
 
 "To a young gentleman who flourished only five 
 centuries ago,^^ said Esther, smiling. And she pointed 
 to a date " 1370 '' scratched on the frame. 
 
 " That^s master^s mischief, now ! "'^ said Mrs. Turn- 
 over, aside to Dolly. " I remember his saying he 
 wouldn^t be the only live ^un of the lot, and I see him 
 one day scratching with his knife on the picture- 
 frame.^^ 
 
 " That^s the beauty of it, aunt,^^ said the pretty 
 Esther, saucily. ^^ I can say just exactly what I 
 please to this dear darling of my heart, and not be 
 forward at all ! I could, should, and would have 
 loved him, if I had flourished in his time. Do you 
 hear that, sir ? j^.nd if he had loved me back, I 
 would have been the most devoted wife that ever 
 Gosling married. I do think he^s smiling, as if he 
 understood and believed it.''
 
 A Mere Scraich, 29 
 
 '^ What upon eartli is tlie girl talking about ?^^ be- 
 gan her perplexed aunt. But she was interrupted by 
 an exclamation from the housemaid^ who was at the 
 wdndow. 
 
 " Here^s somebody galloping up the avenue ! '^ an- 
 swered the latter. 
 
 Mrs. Turnover waddled up. 
 
 " Gracious me^ if it ain't master ! Why, he said 
 he shouldn't be home to dinner. Perhaps he's only 
 rode back to dress — he do sometimes. Come along, 
 Esther dear. La' ! how he's a-tearin' along ! Where's 
 Mr. Fanshaw ? Oh, he's out, I know. Gertrude, call 
 Wilham — or you, Dolly — quick ! " 
 
 " William's run over to the village,'' said Dolly. 
 
 " Then Gertrude must stay and open the door," 
 said the cook. 
 
 But Gertrude had disappeared. 
 
 "Dolly, Dolly ! You must," said Mrs. Turnover. 
 
 " / / I dursent," said the shy dairymaid. 
 
 The horse's tramping was now heard, and presently 
 a violent tug at the hall bell. 
 
 " What shall I do?" cried Mrs. Turnover. "Where 
 ever are all the men ?" 
 
 " Why not open the door yourself, dear ?" sug- 
 gested Esther, quietly. 
 
 " I can't do it, this figure," returned her aunt, 
 struggling with her apron-strings. "You go, child." 
 (Here there was another peal.) " Hark ! what a 
 flurry he be in ! " 
 
 "7?" said Esther. 
 
 " Yes, you. 'Tis the 'riginal of the very pictur ycu 
 was looking at. Master hisself ! "
 
 30 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 "What!" ejaculated Estlier^ becoming scarlet. 
 "But the— the date/' 
 
 " That he done hisself/' 
 
 " Aunt, do you call this a joke ?'' said Esther, hiding 
 her burning face in her hands. 
 
 " Nonsense, dear ! Eun you and open the door/' 
 
 " Not if he stood there till his feet grew into the 
 stones/' returned the girl, haughtily ; and with the 
 step of a queen she quitted the hall. 
 
 Mrs. Turnover opened tJie door. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 The time occupied in the ride home had wrought no 
 change in George's resolution; but it had shown him 
 sufficient of the danger and perplexity of the course 
 he had determined on, to suggest some slight cau- 
 tionary measure. He resolved, therefore, to .proceed, 
 without halting, straight to his own dwelling, where, 
 admitted as usual by one of the male domestics, he 
 would retire to his chamber or study, and enjoy a 
 season of reflection, with the consolation, at all events, 
 of being in a position still to exercise some liberty of 
 choice. The idea of present security was thus dominant 
 in George's mind, when the door at length opened. 
 
 " You have not hurried yourself, I hope," he began. 
 But the fatal words were still on his lips, when George 
 became conscious that he was standing face to face 
 with his portly cook. 
 
 The young man literally staggered, as if he had
 
 A Mere Scratcli. 31 
 
 received a blow, and his face became deadly white. 
 Collecting himself, however, he gave his horse to a 
 groom, who came running up, and entered the house. 
 
 Mrs. Turnover, executing an apologetic bob, or 
 curtsey, was beating a hasty retreat, when her 
 master^s voice recalled her. 
 
 ^' Mrs. — Mrs. Turnover, come with me a moment." 
 
 He went into a side apartment, and sat down. His 
 agitated face alarmed the cook. 
 
 " You^re ill, Pm afeerd. Sir George. Shall I make 
 you anything ? Cup o^ tea : little drop o^ sperrets V 
 
 " Nothing. Sit down, if you please.''^ 
 
 " Sir ! " 
 
 " Sit down." 
 
 Mrs. Turnover obeyed. 
 
 " Tur — Mrs. Turnover, — by-the-bye, what is your 
 other name ? I forget,-' ' said her master. 
 
 " Barbary Hann, sir." 
 
 " Barbara Ann," — his voice trembled. 
 
 " Sir \" said the good lady, getting more and more 
 uneasy. 
 
 "Barbara" (Mrs. Turnover started), "don^t be 
 surprised or annoyed at what you are about to hear." 
 
 " Certingly, Sir George," said the cook, getting up 
 to curtsey, and subsiding again. "^Owever, if 'tis 
 about the butter, IVe " 
 
 " It has no especial reference to butter, or anything 
 of that description," said her young master. " Bar- 
 bara, I give you warning " 
 
 " Warning, sir ! " ejaculated the cook, in consterna- 
 tion. " Whatever 'ave I done ? " 
 
 " xl warning, truly," said her master, with a dismal
 
 32 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 smile, ^^but not exactly to — no, Barbara, not to leave 
 me. Listen. I am perfectly serious, perfectly re- 
 solved, and I sliall presently require of you as serious 
 and as resolved an answer to the perhaps unexpected 
 question I am going to put to you. Without, at 
 present, entering into fuller explanations, are — are you 
 w — willing, Barbara, to — become — my — wife ? '' 
 
 Mrs. Turnover gave utterance to a slight scream, 
 and leaned back in her chair, which creaked, sym- 
 pathetically, as though exhorting the sitter to take 
 heart. Her first idea w^as that Sir George had 
 returned home in that peculiar condition, originally 
 invented by the police, and defined in their reports as 
 " been drinking,^^ that is, while not wholly deserving 
 the jovial adjective '^ drunk," ripe for any of those 
 little aberrations to which drinking leads. But, re- 
 membering his temperate habits, this idea speedily 
 gave place to a w^orse — namely, that he had gone 
 suddenly mad. 
 
 Now, the good cook had both heard and read that 
 the prevailing mode of dealing with lunacy at the 
 present day involves a pretended coincidence in, and 
 promotion of, any remarkable fancy. Demeaning 
 herself accordingly, Mrs. Turnover, with a coolness 
 and presence of mind that really astonished herself, 
 returned a soothing answer. 
 
 ^''You^re worry good. Sir George" (poor creetur!), 
 "and a worry natural thing" (George started) "it 
 were of you to wish for to give me such a nice little 
 surprise. But — but I don^'t think you^re quite your 
 own quiet self this night. There, now, there ! Don^t, 
 like a hexcellent gentleman, hexcite yourself. P^raps
 
 [ 
 
 A Mere Scratch. 33 
 
 you're a bit flustered like, witli riding so sharp home. 
 You feels that, too/' continued Mrs. Turnover, in 
 persuasive accents, ^' and, at this worry individgial 
 moment, I sees you whisperin' to yourself — Barbary's 
 right. I'll lay down for 'alf an hour, and 'ave a cup 
 o' tea, and then enjoy any further conwersation com- 
 forrably.^' 
 
 ''Thank you," replied Sir George. ''You're a 
 kind-hearted creature, and you mean well. But, Mrs. 
 Tur — that is, Barbara — understand, I pray, without 
 more words, that I am as sane, as sober, and as 
 heartily in earnest, as ever I was in my life. Come, 
 does that satisfy you ? '^ 
 
 " 0' course it do. Sir George. Unappy creeturs ! 
 it's what they all says," added Mrs. Turnover, aside. 
 " Never did I see a saner gentleman than him's a 
 settin' there. In hearnest ? — why, o' course you aire. 
 What was poor Turnover's last words, Sir George, 
 when sinking ? " 
 
 " I don't remember — I never heard," said the 
 baronet, absently. " Words ? " 
 
 " 'Putt every confidence in the sperior sect,' he 
 ses. ' Trust 'em. They knows what they're about, 
 and if they does mislead you, why, they're sometimes 
 worry sorry, which makes,' he ses, 'all square.' 
 Whereas, Sir George, I putts trust in you, and 
 worry grateful feels for your kind preference," con- 
 cluded Mrs. Turnover, rising as she spoke, in the 
 hope of putting an end to the embarrassing con- 
 ference. 
 
 "Listen to me. Turnover," said the young man, 
 gravely. " On the supposition that I am mad,, you 
 
 D
 
 34 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 affect to indulge what seems to you an extraordinary 
 fancy, and to receive it as sometliing perfectly natu- 
 ral j nay, to be expected ! This is nonsense. Having 
 taken the matter in its insane aspect, suppose you try 
 it now in its reasonable one. Granted the step I pro- 
 pose to take is unusual, and may be judged of by the 
 world in a manner not flattering to my self-esteem, 
 there are reasons which outweigh such considerations. 
 I once more distinctly place before you, Barbara Ann 
 Turnover, heretofore my servant, the opportunity of 
 becoming my wife.'' 
 
 " I thought I should ha^ dropped,^^ said Mrs. Turn- 
 over, subsequently, " when, repeating it so steadfast, 
 as though actially asting the banns, master putt out 
 his hand, kivered with rings, and smiled as sweet as a 
 angel. While I were hesitating and wiping my hand 
 on my apron, he come forrard, impatient, and said : 
 ^ Come, my good Barbara, I have giv^ you a unfair 
 surprige. Go now, for the present, and think over 
 what I have proposed. I don^t require you for to kip 
 it,^ he ses, ^anyways secret. You will let me know 
 
 to-morrow morning — yes, to-morrow — to-morrow 
 
 His voice got choky like, and he sot hisself down 
 again, kivering his white face with his hands. Which 
 I curtseyed, concluded Mrs. Turnover, " and, upset 
 as I were, didn^t I go, as fast as ever I walked in my 
 life ! But I didn^t get no further than the staircage, 
 for theer I simmed to forgit whear I was, and all 
 about it.^^ 
 
 George had raised his eyes in time to witness that 
 precipitate movement of retreat Mrs. Turnover has 
 herself described. It recalled so vividly the action of
 
 A Mere Scratch. 35 
 
 a frightened goose^ that he could not repress a bitter 
 smile. 
 
 ^' She will do justice to the name in one particular at 
 least ! ^^ he muttered. 
 
 He was in the act of rising to go to his chamber, 
 when a loud singular sound, such as, if a pony ever 
 uttered an audible laugh, might be produced by that 
 animal, echoed from the staircase, followed by a wail 
 and sobs so unmistakably human, that the young man 
 rushed out to inquire their source, and beheld the poor 
 cook on the upper steps in high hysterics. Before he 
 could summon assistance, the distressful accents had 
 reached other ears, for somebody — it was a young 
 person George had never before seen — came bounding 
 from an adjacent apartment to the rescue. For a 
 second their eyes met. George had only time to note 
 that the face, though somewhat haughty in expression, 
 was of singular beauty, and further, that a crimson 
 flush mounted, unnecessarily as it seemed, to the 
 stranger^ s brow, when other help arrived, and the 
 young master of the house discreetly withdrew. 
 
 " ^\^lat noble features ! and, by Jove ! what a com- 
 plexion ! '' was his comment. " That blush alone was 
 perfection. Ah, nature, who can paint like thee ? 
 Who is the girl, I wonder ? Not of these parts, 
 surely. Xo servant, I am sure. Perhaps a seam- 
 stress of Clara's. Perhaps '' 
 
 He fell into a strange reverie, standing so long with 
 one boot off and leaning on a chair, that he positively 
 started when, rousing himself, he looked at his watch. 
 Night was coming on, a fact of which he was further 
 apprised by the appearance of Mr. Fanshaw, the 
 
 D 2
 
 36 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 butler^ bringing candles^, and a request to know if he 
 would be pleased to take dinner. 
 
 Sir George declined tlie superior meal^ but ordered 
 coffee to be brought to Ms room, and prepared to 
 write. Thereupon Mr. Fanshaw, after a slight and 
 purposeless buzz about the room, and a wistful but 
 stealthy look at his master, withdrew. 
 
 Georo^e had caug^ht the look in his mirror. 
 
 " They all know it, then, by this time ! '' was his 
 correct conclusion. 
 
 When Mr. Fanshaw reappeared with the coffee, 
 George forced himself to inquire for Mrs. Turnover. 
 
 Either the good lady anticipated the query, or 
 Mr. Fanshaw was good at improvisation, for he at 
 once replied : 
 
 " Mrs. Turnover's duty. Sir George ; she 'ave laid 
 down for a few minutes. Sir George, and feels quite 
 charmin', Sir George. ''' 
 
 The suitor uttered something between a cough and 
 a groan, and turned steadily to his writing. 
 
 He was occupied with one letter full half an hour. 
 The pen travelled swiftly, but the journey was appa- 
 rently in vain, for at the end of several pages George 
 suddenly stopped, glanced back hastily at what he 
 had written, and tore the whole to atoms. 
 
 " To her, to-morrow,'^ he muttered. '^ To-night, I 
 am distraught. Poor Clara ! '' 
 
 '^ Poor George V may be added. For it is no easy 
 matter to communicate, in an entirely satisfactory 
 manner, to the most attached of sisters (especially if 
 she be the wife of a haughty earl) that you are about 
 to be affianced to your cook.
 
 A Mere Bcratch. 37 
 
 " It is too late for the post^ I suppose ? ^' said 
 Geoi'ofe to the butler, who entered at this mo- 
 ment. 
 
 " Not if ^tis sent immediately, Sir George/^ was the 
 reply. " Dawes can take it at once_, Sir George ; he^s 
 at the stable gate now, Sir George, with the dog-cart, 
 Sir George/-' 
 
 "The dog-cart? Why?'' 
 
 " Going to take Miss Esther, Sir George.'" 
 
 " Who is Miss Esther ? '' 
 
 '^ Miss Vann, Sir George. Mrs. Turnover's niece. 
 Sir George," said Mr. Fanshaw, promptly. 
 
 " Mr. Dawes does not consider it necessary to await 
 my orders, it would seem," said the young baronet, 
 with unwonted tartness. '^ Be good enough to desire 
 him to put up the dog-cart instantly. I have no letters 
 to-night." 
 
 "And, and the young la , person. Sir George ? 
 
 'Tis too far for such a gh4 to walk at night, and all 
 alone. Sir George." 
 
 " AYho wants her to walk ? She can sleep here, if 
 she chooses." 
 
 Mr. Fanshaw quitted the room. 
 
 " Not badly managed," thought George. " Two 
 things gained. I must keep down this disposition in 
 my household to treat me as they please. This will 
 be more than ever necessary now. And I shall per- 
 haps also see how the morning roses bloom. How 
 pretty she was ! " 
 
 The butler reappeared. 
 
 " I beg pardon. Sir George. Mrs. Turnover is quite 
 agreeable. Sir George ; but Miss Esther herself insists
 
 38 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 on walking home. Sir George, nor we can^t perwent 
 her, Sir George/^ 
 
 " Present my compliments to Miss — what name did 
 you say ? — Esther — and request her, as a favour, not 
 to put me to the pain of sending a lady from Gosling 
 Graize, even in a carriage, at this hour of the night, 
 when twenty chambers are at her disposal. Dawes 
 will receive her orders in the morning, at any hour 
 she pleases. ■'■' 
 
 '^ Yes, Sir George ; very good. Sir George,^^ said 
 Mr. Fanshaw, evidently approving the amended 
 message, and went his way. 
 
 George thought of Mildred till he went to sleep. A 
 revolution then occiuTed, and slumber, which has a 
 tyranny of its own, decreed, and somehow contrived, 
 that he should di^eam of Esther Vann. 
 
 CHAPTER lY. 
 
 In the mean time, there had been proceeding, in the 
 apartment occupied by Mrs. Mapes, the housekeeper, 
 a grand council, or divan. Stretched upon a couch 
 (for she was, as has been stated, a victim to rheuma- 
 tism), Mrs. Mapes, excited by the astounding intelli- 
 gence which had reached her, looked less like an 
 invalid than might have been expected, and took 
 an ample share in the deliberations. Truth to say, 
 these were almost exclusively of a conjectural cha- 
 racter, and had reference to the enigma present to
 
 A Mere Scratch. 39 
 
 every mind, and expressing itself tJiere, in the simple 
 terms '^how ever master can mean to make sucli 
 a fool of liisself as this comes to ! '' 
 
 The heroine of that eventful day — Mrs. Turnover 
 herself — was seated in a chair of state, close beside 
 the presidential couch, surrounded by her admiring, 
 not to say wondering, friends ; while Esther sat apart, 
 pale, sad, bewildered, hardly able to believe that what 
 she saw and heard was not a foolish dream. Com- 
 pelled to yield to Sir George^s proposition, she was 
 content to let it be thouglit that the restraint put 
 upon her movements had slightly affected her 
 temper, and made her disinclined to take part in 
 the debate. 
 
 '■'And you are sure, my dear soul, lie ain^t mad?" 
 said Mrs. Mapes, affectionately (for slie didn^t like 
 her_, placing her hand on the pudgy paw of Mrs. Turn- 
 ovei\ 
 
 Some hours, it will be remembered, had now 
 elapsed since Sir George^s return, and the observant 
 reader, aware how readily the human mind adapts 
 itself to the most unexpected contingencies, will not 
 be surprised to learn that Mrs. Turnover began to be 
 a little annoyed at tke circumstance of everybody at 
 once jumping to the conclusion that nothing short of 
 insanity could explain tlieir master's choice. She 
 therefore replied with a little acerbity, that he might 
 have been mad for aught she knew ; but, at the same 
 time, he evidently knowM well enough what he was 
 a-doing on. 
 
 '' Don't be angry, my dear creature,'' said the mild 
 housekeeper. " We don't think it strange, we that
 
 40 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 know your value, tliat you should liave a handsome 
 offer. But master's seen so little of you^ so very little, 
 hasn^t he ? What ever can be his reason ? '' 
 
 '''To be sare, heVe seen a good deal more of you," 
 retorted Mrs. Turnover. '^ But it don^t seem to have 
 made any difference in a matrimonial pint o^ view.^^ 
 
 ^' He might have heard what a hexlent creetur you 
 be/^ said Gertrude, going in betimes for serious 
 flattery. 
 
 '^ It^s not a sudding thing/^ remarked the laundry- 
 maid. " Depend upon it, this has been a long time 
 shimmering in his mind. He wanted to be quite sure 
 of his feelins. It^s ockard when a man ses slap he 
 loves you, and then finds he don^t. That^s why 
 master was so long speakin' out.^' 
 
 '' Well, at all events, he done it effectually at last," 
 said Mrs. Turnover, hardly knowing whether the last 
 speech could be taken in a complimentary sense or 
 not. 
 
 '' There^s no guessin^ o^ men, they hides their 
 feelms so," said Gertrude, who squinted, had a snub 
 nose, and from whom mankind in general had 
 managed to conceal their feelings most successfully. 
 
 " Did you notice any simtims of affection at hodd 
 times, such as when he was a-hordering dinaer, 
 or paying your wages, and that, ma^am ? " inquired 
 Mr. Fanshaw, whose presence in the lady's room was 
 tolerated in consideration of the importance of the 
 occasion, and on condition that he did not sit down. 
 " Come ! did he never make no excuse for to squeedge 
 your hand ? " 
 
 *'I — I don't remember as he ever did — no, I am
 
 A Mere Scratch. 41 
 
 positive he never did/' said Mrs. Turnover, after due 
 reflection. 
 
 " Or was you ever sittin' by liim perruiscus any- 
 wheres, when he's nudged you or pinched your 
 helbo ? '' pursued Mr. Fanshaw, whose ideas of 
 wooing seemed exclusively muscular. 
 
 " Xever/' said the lady. 
 
 "P'raps he's heerd as you're 'titled to some 
 money ! " suggested a voice in the distance. But 
 this spiteful idea was scouted. 
 
 "It can't hardly be my figger/' said the cook, 
 frankly. " N' more it couldn't be my face, for I'm 
 changed a bit since Turnover first kep company with 
 me at Habbot's Hann. I weer pretty then." 
 
 " Why, what aire you now, ma'am ? " put in the un- 
 blushing Gertrude. "Look at your heye, and your 
 'air. I've heerd tell it used to be sot upon." 
 
 " Law ! " said Mr. Fanshaw, " is that good for 
 the hair ? " 
 
 " Turnover was as proud as a peacock of my curls, 
 just as if they was his own," said his relict, with a 
 sigh. " His last words to me, huttered just as his 
 voice was failing, was these : ' Barbary,' he ses, ' give 
 me some drops.' We giv' 'em. Then he goes on, 
 ' French is good 'air, specially for middle-aged fronts 
 and puffers. North German makes good working 
 wigs ; but Swish is best of all,' he ses. ' I've paid,^ 
 he ses, graspin' my hand, ' as much as three pound 
 siven, ay, and three pound twelve, for Swish hght 
 brown, afore baking. But into anything like yours, 
 for substance, glosh, and fibre, I never yet did put 
 a comb ! — Adoo.' "
 
 42 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 "Well, now, to business/^ said Mrs. Mapes. " What 
 sliall you say, my dear ? Of course, if master^s ofier's 
 serious, you accept it. The only question then is, is 
 it serious ? ^^ 
 
 " Yes, ma^am, it is," said Mrs. Turnover, resolutely. 
 " Make yourself quite easy as to that. When a 
 gentleman asks you in plain words whether you^ll be 
 his wife, I suppose he means to ask whether his wife 
 you will be." 
 
 Mrs. Mapes admitted that the phrase might be 
 regarded as convertible ; but, as a final conjecture, 
 would submit to the general suffi'age, whether it were 
 not possible that the young master^s desire to retain 
 permanently near him a person so skilled in her 
 pecuhar vocation, was the real motive of his choice. 
 
 Mrs. Turnover thought within herself that the 
 object might have been attained on somewhat cheaper 
 conditions ; but she made no reply. 
 
 '^ Well, I always fancied there was some one else 
 master fancied," said the housekeeper. 
 
 " You mean — hum — down there. The Haie," said 
 Mr. Fanshaw, darkly. 
 
 Mrs. Mapes nodded. Esther suddenly felt herself 
 becoming interested in the conversation ; but it was 
 not pursued in this direction, and, feeling weary, she 
 bade the party good night, reminding them that she 
 had to be stirring early. 
 
 " Master's made a mistake," said Mr. Fanshaw, in 
 an under-tone to the housekeeper, during the little 
 movement caused by Esther's exit, "and took the 
 wrong mimber of the family ! " 
 
 Mrs. Mapes smiled; and the council, too much
 
 A Mere Scratch. 43 
 
 interested in their subject to tliink of separating at 
 present, returned to the discussion. 
 
 " Don^t you feel all in a twitter_, ma'am ? '' inquired 
 Dolly. 
 
 Mrs. Turnover responded to the effect that "twitter^' 
 time was past, and all she was now conscious of was a 
 sort of heavy settlin' down. 
 
 It occurred to some of the circle that this state of 
 things would shortly become more applicable to the 
 other party to the projected alliance. 
 
 It beiug now universally assumed that Sir Greorge's 
 suit was to receive a favourable answer, the next 
 consideration was lioio it should be conveyed ; and on 
 this point Mrs. Turnover, after a little coquetting, 
 frankly avowed herself at fault, and invited co-opera- 
 tion. 
 
 " I should do it respectful but cordiwal," said 
 Mr. Fanshaw. 
 
 Assent, qualified by an unspoken impression that, 
 on such a subject, Mr. Fanshaw should have per- 
 mitted the ladies to speak first. 
 
 " Pop upon him when he leaves his room," proposed 
 Gertrude. '' He'd take it kind.'' 
 
 " I think I wouldn't be too forward," said the 
 housekeeper. 
 
 '^ Send word you couldn't come for orders about 
 dinner, being that you was hupset," said Dolly. 
 
 " I think I wouldn't be too backward /^ said 
 Mrs. Mapes. 
 
 " Meet him promiscus, and say you've loved him 
 these twelve long year, and is it come to tli 
 the daring counsel of Martha, the kitchen-maid.
 
 44 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 '^ I won^t do notliln o^ tlie sort/' said the honest- 
 hearted cook^ indignantly. " Besides, a precious fool 
 you^d make me out to be, spoonin' on a little boy in 
 fall- down collars ! Catch me saying it.-*^ 
 
 ^'You must give master his answer, child/' said 
 Mrs. Mapes, in full enjoyment of the difficulty. " Come, 
 now, rouse yourself, and think about what you're to 
 say.'' 
 
 " I won't say nothin'," said the cook ; '^ I'll— I'll 
 write." 
 
 But this craven resolution was received as it de- 
 served, with manifest disfavour. Nevertheless, the 
 lady was firm. She would reply by letter. 
 
 " And slip it under his door," was one suggestion. 
 
 " Or pin it on the breakfast 'am," was another. 
 
 ^' Or lay it in a hopen tart," was a third. 
 
 It seemed that the idea of sendino- such a letter in 
 the ordinary way was not to be dreamed of. 
 
 '^ Well, now, about the letter," said Mrs. Mapes, 
 settling herself comfortably. " 1 suppose you don't 
 want any assistance there.'' 
 
 (In other words, " I know we shall have to do it 
 for you ; so now for some fun ! ") 
 
 Mrs. Turnover declared that she would be greatly 
 obliged for any suggestions. 
 
 " The last words Turnover ses to me, so as to be 
 understood distinct," added the good lady, delibe- 
 rately, was these : '' ' Never, Barbara, never be above 
 hearing adwice that's freely offered. The best of that 
 sort generally is, that you needn't foUer it. Adoo ! ' " 
 
 Far from being deterred by this last qualification, 
 the council plunged at once into the discussion, and a
 
 A Mere Scratch. 4 
 
 consultaticn ensued, in which everybody, except Mr. 
 Fanshaw, took part at the same moment. That 
 gentleman, remarking that the subject was becoming 
 delicate, took his departure. 
 
 Numerous were the forms of love-letters adduced 
 as precedents, and many interesting quotations — 
 chiefly, it would seem, derived from valentines — im- 
 parted a poetic character to the debate. But none of 
 these exactly hit the point. It is not every day that 
 a young baronet of ancient lineage, age twenty- five, 
 proposes to his cook of fifty. 
 
 " This will never do,^^ said the lady-president, 
 getting rather weary of the bootless clamour. '' Sup- 
 pose I write down what each or any one has to propose, 
 and we can correct the letter afterwards." 
 
 The proposition was adopted. Paper and ink 
 were produced, and Mrs. Mapes, whose right hand 
 was fortunately effective, commenced the epistle 
 thus : 
 
 '' ' Honoured Sir- ' " 
 
 " I don't know about ' honoured,' '' said Mrs. 
 Turnover. " Don't it read distant ? " 
 
 '' I thought we were to write the letter first," said 
 the housekeeper. "Now, then — 'Honoured Sir ' " 
 
 " ' Being as you wished an immediate answer,' " 
 suggested Gertrude, and stopped, exhausted. 
 
 " ' To your ansum propojial,' " said Dolly, rushing 
 to the rescue. 
 
 " ' Made to your umble servant, Barbary Hann 
 Turnover,' " prompted Martha. 
 
 '-' That'll do capital ! " cried Mrs. Turnover, thinking 
 the letter finished. " Who's got a seal ? "
 
 46 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 '^ I don't tliink thai would satisfy anybody/' said 
 Mrs. Mapes. '^ Do you accept, or don't you? '' 
 
 " ' Which/ '' said the lady chiefly interested, making 
 a great eS'ort — ^' ' which, if you railly think it's for 
 your 'appiness ' " 
 
 " ^ Happiness' — yes ? " said the lady-president. 
 
 " ' Why, you know best,' " said the laundry-maid, 
 timidly. 
 
 Mrs. Turnover nodded approval. 
 
 " Shouldn't you add something about not being 
 fully prepared — you know, unexpected — that sort of 
 thing ? " asked the housekeeper. 
 
 " ' Took by surprige,' " resumed the inexhaustible 
 Dolly. 
 
 '^ ^ In my hapron and all,' " put in Mrs. Turn- 
 over. 
 
 " ' I might have simmed — have simmed,' " said 
 Gertrude, and again collapsed. 
 
 '^ ^ More cooler,' " suggested Martha. 
 
 '^ ' Than suckemstarnces required,' " said the 
 laundry-maid, timidly interrogative. 
 
 '^ ' But, for the futur, you shan't — you shan't — have 
 — no — no ' " hesitated Dolly. 
 
 '' ' No call to complain,' " said Mrs. Turnover, des- 
 perately. " There, that'll do. I signs it." 
 
 " Oh, Mrs. Turnover, ma'am, there's something 
 forgot," said Dolly. 
 
 " Forgot ? " 
 
 '''They usually, so they tells me" (Dolly bhished), 
 '^ sends a lock of 'air." 
 
 "Bless my heart, do they ? " cried the lady. 
 
 '^ Yes, and yours is so beautiful thick ! Let me cut
 
 A Mere Scratch. 47 
 
 off a bit. Therej don^t be sliy, ma^am/^ said Gertrude, 
 playfully. 
 
 '^ Well, here, liunderneatli, wheer it ain^t so grey," 
 said Mrs. Turnover, hitcliing up her cap. 
 
 An iron-grey tuft being presently secured and 
 tied — to avoid dangerous contrasts — with white 
 thread 
 
 " Now, listen," said the lady in the chair ; '^ here^s 
 the letter." She had made some improvements in 
 the spelling, but retained the sense intact : — 
 
 " ' Honoured Sir, — Being as you wished an imme- 
 diate answer to your handsome proposal made to your 
 humble servant, Barbara Ann Turnover, which, if you 
 really think it's for your happiness, why, you hious 
 best. Took by surprise, in my apron and all, I might 
 have seemed more cooler than circumstances required ; 
 but, for the future, you shan't have no call to complain. 
 Yours to command, 
 
 " 'Barbara Ann Tuexover.' 
 
 ''Well," concluded Mrs. Mapes, "will it do ? " 
 
 '■I don't like 'honoured sir,'" said Mrs. Turnover, 
 returning to her former criticism. " It reads cold ; 
 and besides, ma'am, he didn't ask for an immediate 
 answer, nor I never said he did." 
 
 " Very good, my dear. I cut that out," said Mrs. 
 Mapes. 
 
 " Xow she needn't put her name theer, since 'tis 
 signed at the end," remarked Dolly 
 
 " That's out," said Mrs. Manes. 
 
 " Now, ain't tJtis rayther queer ; ' if you railly thinks 
 it's for your happiness, ansetterer,' " said Gertrude.
 
 48 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 '' 0^ course it^s for his happiness, and o^ course he 
 kuow^d it so to be. ^ If ^ sounds hunbelieving/^ 
 
 " Trul}", ma^am/' said Mrs. Turnover. 
 
 " That's out/^ said the lady with the pen. 
 
 "Mrs. Turnover, ma'am/* said the laundry-maid, 
 humbly, " I ask for information. Don^t it seem as if 
 ' took by surprise * meant to reproge him ? '^ 
 
 " Good gracious, child ! Eep roach ! Not for any 
 sake ! *' exclaimed the lady, much disturbed. " Out 
 with it, please, ma'am, quick ! '^ 
 
 " It's out,'' replied the president. " Now about ' the 
 future ? ' " 
 
 ^' If I were Mrs. Turnover, little enough I'd promige 
 about thctt/' said Dolly, darkly. '' Fust you see how 
 he beayves hisself." 
 
 " Perhaps you're right, child," said the cook. " The 
 very last hordible words poor Tur " 
 
 "There, that's out," interrupted Mrs. Mapes, and 
 she laid down the pen. 
 
 " Go on, if you please, 'm," said Mrs. Turnover. 
 
 " That's all." 
 
 " Why, bless me ! what's gone of the letter ? " 
 ejaculated Mrs. Turnover, looking at the document 
 in some dismay. 
 
 " There's nothing left but ' yours to command,' the 
 name, and the hair," said Mrs. Mapes. 
 
 There was a subdued giggle in the assembly at this 
 unexpected result of their labours, but Mrs. Mapes, 
 who was becoming sleepy, comforted them with the 
 assurance that nothing in the world could be better 
 than what still remained. The hair, and the " yours 
 to command," at once announced that the offer was
 
 A Mere Scratch. 49 
 
 accepted, and Mrs. Turnover purposed to be a dutiful 
 spouse. 
 
 This appearing satisfactory, thanks were presented 
 to Mrs. Mapes for her "^ able conduct in the chair/' 
 and the council separated to their respective apart- 
 ments, leaving Gosling Graize under the guardianship 
 of the ever-wakeful ancestors, who frowned and smirked 
 below. 
 
 CHAPTER Y. 
 
 The day was very young indeed when pretty Esther^ 
 bright and fresh as the morn itself, stole out of her 
 little chamber, and, thanks to instructions received 
 overnight, made her way out into the beautiful gardens 
 for which Gosling Graize had long been renowned. 
 She was to leave at eight, before which hour Sir 
 George seldom quitted his room, and thus the young 
 lady calculated that she might enjoy a ramble in the 
 gardens, if not a short run in the woods, without 
 attracting the notice of her host. 
 
 But she reckoned without that host. 
 
 She tripped gaily on, across the lawns, up one walk, 
 down another, trying to lose her way in that, to her, 
 enchanted labyrinth, and almost dancing in the buoy- 
 ancy of spirit which a fair morning, lighting up lovely 
 things, commonly brings to the young. For a moment 
 she sat down on a rustic seat, now she peeped into an 
 arbour, now lingered beside a crystal spring, and caught 
 the liquid diamonds as they glittered forth. Passing 
 
 E
 
 oO A Mere Scratclu 
 
 up a path shaded with laurel and arbutus, she ap- 
 proached what appeared to be a garden more private 
 than the rest. It was, however, guarded only by a 
 light wire fence. The gate was open, and a flush of 
 roses beyond proved too tempting. Esther glided in. 
 It comprised about half an acre, and was filled with 
 rose-trees. It was the famed rose-pleasance of 
 Gosling Graize, pride and solace of many a defunct 
 Dame Gosling, and fruitful source of heartbm*ning 
 among all gardeners of the district whose hearts were 
 in their office. 
 
 Rose time was past, but a few varieties were yet 
 in bloom, and Esther, whose passion w^as a rose, ex- 
 amined them with delight. One, just attaining per- 
 fection, turned its glowing face towards her. She 
 gathered it tenderly. 
 
 " When I die,''^ she said aloud, " may the last of 
 God^s beautiful works I see — except the dear human 
 face — be one of you ! '' 
 
 " "VArho comes into the giant^s garden at cock-crow 
 to steal his favourite roses ? '' said a voice of assumed 
 ferocity, as the speaker, looking as unlike Cormoran 
 or Blunderbore as a handsome youth might, issued 
 from a trellised arbour artfully concealed in an angle 
 of the pleasance. 
 
 Esther uttered a startled exclamation, and, in catch- 
 ing back her hand, scratched it somewhat smartly with 
 a thorn. 
 
 " I am the unluckiest fellow in the world,^^ exclaimed 
 the giant, at once contracting into the ordinary dimen- 
 sions, " in practical jokes ! See, now, what I have 
 done ! My savage kinsman, Hurlo-Thrumbo the
 
 A Mere Scratch. 51 
 
 Three-headedj could do no more than slied your blood. 
 Let me assist you, I beg/^ 
 
 The hand had to submit, and afforded George au 
 opportunity of noticing what we have learned already, 
 — that it was a pretty hand, but one that had not 
 spared itself in the battle of life, and now accepted the 
 thorn-scratch with the indifference of a veteran. 
 
 Esther thanked him, and murmured some excuse 
 for her intrusion. 
 
 " My dear young lady, not a word,^^ said the 
 baronet. " It was by the merest chance — a fortunate 
 one for me — that I rose so early, and wandered hither ; 
 a corner precious to my sister, but which I rarely visit. 
 I observe,^^ he continued, " that you called me by my 
 name. Was that a guess ? '' 
 
 " Not quite. I saw you last night, for a moment, 
 on the stairs. ^^ 
 
 " You knew me then V^ 
 
 " I — I had been looking at your picture,^^ said 
 Esther, hastily. ^' But, indeed, I might more properly 
 ask, how do yo\i know me V^ she added, laughing to 
 cover her embarrassment. 
 
 " I — I had been questioning my butler,^^ replied 
 Sir George, with affected hesitation. " Come, Miss 
 Yann, since the giant has a fancy for retaining you in 
 his den (though without, I do assure you, any culinary 
 purpose), let him do what he may to atone for the 
 detention, by showing you the treasures of his 
 garden.^^ 
 
 Sir George looked at his companion. Esther was 
 without a bonnet, and the burnished hair, in its smooth 
 bands, was the sole protection to the little shapely 
 
 E 2 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF 
 
 ILLINOIS LIBRARY
 
 52 A Mere S crate n.. 
 
 liead_, well set upon a white and not too slender neck. 
 Her countenance betrayed a rare mixture of firmness 
 and sensibility. Her mouth and chin might have 
 been cut in stone, so inexorable was their expression ; 
 while, on the other hand, her ready colour, moistening 
 eye, and an occasional quick nervous movement in 
 conversing, betrayed the excitability of a nature that 
 must have acquired with difficulty the self-government 
 Esther usually displayed. 
 
 She wore a dress of poor material, with, here and 
 there, a neat though palpable darn, but adapting itself 
 perfectly to her lithe, faultless figure, and set off with 
 collar and wristbands like the driven snow. 
 
 It would seem that Sir George speedily forgot his 
 promise concerning the flowers; oddly enough, Miss 
 Vann appears to have forgotten it also. Certain it is 
 that, without any pretence of visiting the choice 
 parterres, the two strolled on, from walk to walk, in a 
 state of perfect contentment. It would be difficult to 
 say which had been the more surprised. Expecting 
 in Esther a half-educated girl, whom a few polished 
 remarks, made in an easy, patronising wa}^, would 
 more than satisfy, perhaps instruct, the baronet found 
 himself engaged with one whose information seemed 
 fully equal to his own, in whose taste he could detect 
 no flaw, and whose modes of expression, singularly 
 terse and clear, were wholly free from those conven- 
 tionalities which are frequently indicative of super- 
 ficial education. 
 
 As for Esther, the more she listened to her com- 
 panion's discourse, the more overpowering became her 
 amazement that a nature so refined should have been
 
 A Mere S'-ratch. 53 
 
 prompted to seek such, an association as tliat wliicli 
 impended. Good soul as she knew lier aunt to be, 
 Esther^s taste and judgment had long since convinced 
 her that the worthy woman was not above, if indeed 
 she might not be considered a shade belosv, the 
 station to which she belonged. Could there be some 
 misconception? Or was it an idle jest? The latter 
 theory did not seem to harmonise with Sir George^s 
 character and bearing. Was one or other of the 
 parties mad ? If so, which ? 
 
 " Why did you look at me in that quick way ?" 
 asked George, abruptly, but with a smile. 
 
 " Did I V said Esther caught in the fact. 
 
 " Yes, more than once ; and as I do not remember/^ 
 continued George, *^^that my observations were in 
 either instance of a startling character, hence my 
 curiosity. You must have discovered by this time 
 that I am a tame and civil-spoken monster, and can 
 have no serious misgivings on that score. Come, 
 MissYann, something prompted that quick movement. 
 You hesitate ? Then I proceed to guess. You have 
 been debating in your mind whether there is not 
 in my family a slight taint of — of insanity '^ 
 
 Esther coloured. 
 
 " — and endeavouring,^^ continued George, " to 
 detect some evidence of it in my face ?" 
 
 The blush deepened. 
 
 " An eloquent answer," said the young man, laugh- 
 ing. " Now tell me, Miss Vann, is it, or is it not, 
 incumbent on us to observe a solemn pledge ?" 
 
 ^' How can you ask ?" 
 
 " At hazard of everything V
 
 54 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 '^ Yes, at '' 
 
 Estlier made a sudden pause. A thouglit, suggested 
 she hardly knew liow — most probably by a remark she 
 had heard overnight — flashed across her mind. 
 
 '^ He has had a love-quarrel with — with the lady 
 they spoke of at The Haie. This absurd proposal to 
 my aunt was made in pique and passion. Wrong — 
 foolish— cruel to all three !" 
 
 '^ You don^t answer me/' said George. 
 
 " Nor do you need the assurance of a nursery- 
 governess/^ said Esther, rather spitefully, " that every 
 promise should be kept, unless — unless " 
 
 '' What V 
 
 " — cancelled by its wicked rashness. ^^ 
 
 " I should have said, a deliberate promise.-*^ 
 
 ^^ There is a deliberation in passion itself," said 
 Esther. " I spoke, of course, of that rashness which 
 wilfully blinds itself to former obligations, inconsistent 
 with the new." 
 
 '' But if the penalty for such doings attached only 
 to oneself " 
 
 " It would be simply what we deserve." 
 
 ^^ Only, it rarely does," said George. 
 
 " Rarely," said Esther. 
 
 " That^s the worst of it," said George. 
 
 ^' The worst," assented Esther. 
 
 They walked on in silence for a few moments 
 following their respective trains of thought. 
 
 Esther^s : " Poor, rich, unhappy man ! A whole 
 life of regret, remorse, and mortification, for perhaps 
 one mementos anger ! Two happy, beautiful lives 
 spoiled, a third not benefited; for what happiness could
 
 A Mere Scratch. 55 
 
 poor dear old aunt find in a position so false as tliis ? 
 "What a fate for each ! Can nothing be done ? 
 Nothing ? '^ And the girl's heart swelled with 
 genuine compassion as she glanced at the fortunate 
 descendant of twenty-five generations walking at her 
 side. 
 
 The musing of George : " She would have me pause. 
 Now, why ? From pity ? What interest can she 
 have in my individual self to outweigh the advantage, 
 to her, of the connection? Stay, now; is tlds pos- 
 sible ? Can the old wo '' (George shuddered, as 
 
 he checked the epithet in his mind) — " can she have 
 reflected on the absurd anomaly of such a union, and, 
 by way of experiment, cast this fair temptation in ray 
 way ? In that case, my vow compels me to accept it. 
 She is not a Mildred '^ (he sighed), " but, at all events, 
 an Esther, fair, sweet, and, if I am not mistaken, 
 singularly loveable. Not an atom of vulgarity, no 
 false refinement, no pretence. Ah, if it be so ! The 
 good old creature ! '' thought George, glowing with 
 gratitude for the supposed reprieve, " the faithful old 
 cook ! The sacrifice is noble. It invests her whole 
 fraternity with a dignity of which one would not 
 have conceived it susceptible. Now, the question 
 is '' 
 
 " It is time for me to return. Sir George,^' said 
 Esther, at this moment stopping short. 
 
 " Our progress shall end among those myrtles,'^ 
 said George, pointing onwards. 
 
 " There will be little made, of verbs and pronouns," 
 returned Esther, laughing, " if I am not at home by 
 school-time, ten o'clock.'^ On her turning to go back,
 
 56 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 like one accustomed to have her own way, Sir George 
 had to yield. 
 
 They had scarcely made a step or two_, when Esther, 
 seeming to take a sudden resolution, abruptly addressed 
 him. 
 
 " Sir George, I wish to do you an essential service. 
 I have heard that you have made an offer of mar- 
 riage to my aunt. Do you forget that she is your 
 cook ? " 
 
 "I by no means forget that she has been. If — if 
 she is my intended wife,^^ said George, "the situations 
 are incompatible.''^ 
 
 " You reply so frankly, that I am encouraged to 
 continue my catechism,^^ said Esther, with the beaming 
 smile with which she was wont to reward a promising 
 pupil. " Do you think she will prove a better wife 
 than cook ? '' 
 
 " Scarcely possible,^^ said George, laughing. 
 
 " Do you consider her a fitting wife for yourself ? 
 How will your sister receive this news ? " 
 
 " That alone is my especial affair,^^ replied the young 
 man, in a low voice. 
 
 " You are right, sir,^^ said Esther. " I shall pre- 
 sently have done with my impertinent questioning. 
 Will you answer three times more ? ^^ 
 
 "According to my usual indiscretion — yes/' said 
 George. 
 
 " Had you any thought, before yesterday, of making 
 my aunt your wife ? '^ 
 
 " None in the least,^^ was the prompt reply. 
 
 " Was this condescending olfer the only courtship 
 you pursued yesterday ? ^^
 
 A Mere Scratch. 57 
 
 "No — I — yes — well, upon the whole, no/' said the 
 catechised. 
 
 " Last question — it will be long and somewhat cir- 
 cumstantial ; but if I am wrong in the minutest par- 
 ticular, you are at liberty to put the whole aside 
 unanswered. Were you not yesterday paying your 
 addresses to a lady of your own condition, whom you 
 believed not averse to them ? Had you not some 
 difference with her, ending in grief and anger — at 
 least on your side ? And was not your proposal to 
 my aunt the offspring of that momentary passion ? " 
 
 " That may be called a triangular query,'^ replied 
 Georo-e, smilino^. " No matter. All is true. But the 
 story is not fully told.-'^ 
 
 " Enough is told," said Esther. " Now, listen to 
 the lecture that concludes my catechising. Whatever 
 your motive, self, Sir George, was at its root. It was 
 the act of a being naturally reasonable, but who, 
 casting all moral guidance to the winds, wilfully com- 
 mits himself to the current of wrath, not knowing — 
 nor, for the moment, heeding — what wrong or peril 
 it may entail. Because you have become indifferent 
 to the vessel of your own happiness, are you entitled 
 to run down the barks of others? Can this folly 
 compensate for the slight, whatever it be, that you 
 have suffered at your lady^s hand? Is it intended 
 for revenge ? If she does not love you, there is none. 
 If she does, will nothing less than a life-long peni- 
 tence satisfy your resentment ? What can she have 
 done to merit that ? Nay, what has my poor aunt 
 herself done, that her thirteen years^ faithful service 
 should be so rewarded ? "
 
 58 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 ^' You speakj my dear young lady^ as if it were a 
 penalty/^ 
 
 " It is/^ replied liis monitress. " To be dragged up 
 from a station in wMcli she was contented^ useful, and 
 respected, to one in which she can only be a mark for 
 ridicule and envy/^ 
 
 " If your aunt partakes these sentiments," said the 
 young baronet, with resignation, " far be it from me 
 to press my chiims. Does she ? " 
 
 " I might reply, ^ that alone is her especial affair,^ " 
 said Miss Yann. ^' It is quite possible that she may 
 not yet have fully weighed the incongruities, the 
 endless inconveniences and absurdities, of such an 
 alliance. See, we are at the end of our walk. The 
 last words you will ever hear from my lips shall be 
 honest, if not agreeable. You have insulted — not 
 honoured — your old servant by the preposterous offer 
 you have made her. If she does not herself regard it 
 in that light, that is a greater reflection upon your 
 openness than her judgment. I wish you good 
 morning." 
 
 " A moment," said George. " The last words I 
 shall hear from your lips ? Not so, I hope. Should 
 the marriage take place, we shall be " 
 
 ^' Strangers," said Esther, almost fiercely. ^^ May 
 this foot wither if ever it passes the threshold of these 
 gates ! " 
 
 The young man hesitated, and the colour rose to 
 his brow. 
 
 " Had I had such a counsellor before, my course 
 might have been wiser. Even now," he added, 
 ^' since it is not wholly certain " He stopped.
 
 A Mere Scratch. 69 
 
 '^ Since what is not wliolly certain ? " 
 
 " That my offer has been accepted/^ 
 
 " Pardon me. As I have said^ that is no affair of 
 mine/^ said Esther, coldly. 
 
 '^ Pardon me/' returned George. " It may be. 
 Condescend to hear me for an instant," he continued, 
 noticing her impatience. ^' You have lectured me 
 with some severity, but not without justice. Though 
 undeserving of such a lot, I would fain, were it pos- 
 sible, retain the privilege to be so lectured when my 
 judgment is disposed to stray. Tell me, Miss Yann 
 — Esther, if I may call you so — should your good 
 aunt view this matter in the same sensible and dis- 
 passionate manner as yourself, would you, or, in other 
 words, might I — to speak, in short, explicitly, should 
 she " 
 
 " Ylien we arrive at the dominant verb," said the 
 young governess, unable to forbear a smile, " I shall 
 be better able to reply." 
 
 " I am not accustomed to stammer at my lessons," 
 replied Sir George. " The consciousness of having 
 made one grievous mistake " 
 
 " Sometimes betrays one into another," said 
 Esther. 
 
 " Is it so ? Have I, then, no hope ? " 
 
 " Hope, sir ! " 
 
 *^ Let me, for Heaven^s sake, make myself under- 
 stood. Esther, you who have penetrated the secret of 
 my selfishness, and restored me, I hope, to better 
 reason, will you — should your aunt^s refusal leave me 
 free — accept this hand ? Worthy of more than I can 
 offer "
 
 60 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 '^ Worthy of more ! " interrupted Esther, turning 
 her face upon him, and speaking in a calm, low voice. 
 " Worthy, at least, of more than a love some minutes 
 old — a hand pledged to one person and offered to 
 another — and a fortune I despise as heartily as I do 
 the infatuation of supposing it a passport to the 
 favour of any woman whose love is worth winning. 
 Good Heavens, sir ! in dissuading you from the folly 
 you were bent upon committing, do you dare to 
 imagine that I would win you for myself ? Our con- 
 ference has been too long. I am obliged to you for 
 your courtesies. Not another word is needed. Fare- 
 well ! '' 
 
 She turned, and walked away. 
 
 ^^ Another false move,^' muttered George, as he 
 gazed after her. " Shall I never regain my ba- 
 lance ? '' 
 
 He walked thoughtfully towards the house, taking, 
 however, a different path from Esther^s, but had not 
 made many steps when one of the under-gardeners, 
 bursting through the belt of shrubs, came running, 
 hoe in hand, to meet him. 
 
 " Redditch ! what now ? What^s the matter ? " 
 asked his master. 
 
 The man thrust his hoe into George's hand. 
 
 " Swartz — Swartz — Swartz ! " he gasped, breath- 
 lessly. 
 
 ^' Swartz ! What of him ? Collect yourself, man. 
 What do you mean ? " 
 
 " HeVe gone mad. Sir George ! Raging wild about 
 the garden, snapping savage at everything he come 
 near ! Here he comeSj by the Lord ! ^' added Mr.
 
 A Mere Scratch. 61 
 
 Redditcli, with a decided disposition to take to his 
 heels. 
 
 A large black object was visible, for a moment, 
 glancing across the flower-beds, and taking a direc- 
 tion which, intersecting, at a right angle, the path on 
 which they stood, would lead the infuriated beast 
 upon Esther^ s track. 
 
 ■ " Stand behind me/^ said George. '' Keep quite 
 still. I am going to whistle. If he notices it, have 
 no fear. A mad dog never regards his master, nor 
 turns to signal. ^^ 
 
 Mr. Kedditch did not seem to relish the experiment, 
 but he stood his ground. 
 
 The black mass came bounding into the gravel- 
 walk, some forty yards distant. Greorge whistled 
 sharply, and called : 
 
 " Swartz — Swartz ! " 
 
 The animal seemed to swerve, as though recog- 
 nising the summons, but, next moment, with a sprawl- 
 ing pluuge, dashed himself through the opposing 
 shrubs, and continued his furious way. 
 
 Seriously alarmed, George set off at once in pursuit, 
 followed by Redditch, armed, by this time, with a 
 stout stake. At the place where the dog had made 
 his blundering charge through the covert, beads and 
 iiakes of foam were plainly visible on the stems. It 
 seemed but too plain that Swartz, a powerful mastiff, 
 had become rabid. 
 
 The alarm had already spread. Shouts and cries 
 were heard from the vicinity of the stables, and 
 thitlier the young man bent his flying steps. All was 
 evidently in commotion.
 
 62 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 '' Where is he, boy ? AVhere is lie ? ^^ called out 
 George, catcliing by the sleeve an excited stable-boy 
 who came rushing forth. 
 
 " Oh, sir, the gun ! the gun ! '^ cried the boy. 
 
 "To my room. The first you find. Away with 
 you. Is— is Miss ^' 
 
 But the lad was already out of hearing. 
 
 In the stable-yard a singular scene presented itself. 
 Crowded in the stable windows, mounted on ladder, 
 wall, the roofs of dog-kennels, or any other secure 
 position, almost the whole household of Gosling Graize 
 were assembled, watching with intense anxiety the 
 proceedings of Swartz and a little stable-lad, the 
 brother of him who had been despatched for the gun. 
 
 The dog had penned the boy into a corner, and, 
 though as yet without doing him any injury, lay on 
 the ground within a yard of him, his great black head 
 between his paws, wallowing in foam, and his blood- 
 red eyes glaring as if each moment he were about to 
 make a deadly spring. Why he did not seemed to be 
 the mystery. With the spurning of his hinder paws 
 the animal had thrown up a regular outwork behind 
 him, and it was manifest that this incessant movement 
 was edofing- him nearer and nearer to his prisoner. As 
 for the latter — a fine Httle boy about ten, and hitherto 
 enjoying the most friendly relations with Swartz — he 
 sat paralysed with terror, his blue eyes opened to their 
 full extent, as if fascinated by the danger from which 
 he could not escape. Attempts to drive the dog 
 away had so evidently added to his fury, that it had 
 been resolved to leave him alone until firearms were 
 at hand.
 
 A Mere Scratch. 63 
 
 The young master thought differently. To his 
 generous heart the boy^s danger seemed too imminent 
 to admit of a moment^s delay. Disregarding the 
 remonstrances of his servants, and taking no notice 
 of a spasmodic shriek emitted, as in duty bound, by 
 Mrs. Turnover, George walked steadily towards the 
 crouching dog, and spoke to him in a tone of quiet, 
 sharp command. 
 
 Swartz uttered a low growl, and flung the foam 
 from his vexed jaws, but never took his eyes from his 
 little prisoner. 
 
 " Listen, boy/^ said George ; '' I am about to take 
 off the dog^s attention. The instant his eye is off 
 you, use your legs.''^ 
 
 The boy^s lips moved in assent. 
 " Come, sir, to kennel,^^ said George, and, as he 
 spoke, struck the hoe he carried sharply on the ground 
 close to the dog. 
 
 Quick as lightning the brute was upon him, seizing 
 him by the leg. It was an exchange of prisoners, for, 
 hardly less swiftly, the boy had vanished from his 
 perilous position, and was in safety. A loud cry 
 burst from the spectators, and two or three of the 
 men, shamed by the urgency of the occasion, were 
 hasteninof forward to their master^s assistance. But 
 he motioned them back. Though held as in a vice, 
 George's boots had resisted the animaFs teeth, and he 
 was as yet perfectly uninjured. 
 
 But what was now to be done ? A gun had been 
 brought and charged with swan-shot, but none dared 
 use it while man and dog retained their relative posi- 
 tions. Neither was it possible to convey the weapon
 
 64 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 into George's hand^ it being all but certain that the 
 infuriated beast would only quit Ms present hold to 
 fasten, perhaps with more fatal effect, upon the first 
 who approached him. To complete the difficulties of 
 the situation, the iron portion of the hoe had, when 
 struck upon the ground, become detached from the 
 handle, thus depriving George of all chance of dealing 
 an efiective blow at his dangerous assailant. 
 
 At this moment Esther, prepared for departure, 
 and astonished at the sudden solitude that seemed to 
 reign within the house, made her appearance on the 
 scene. A few words made her acquainted with the 
 danger that impended over the young master of the 
 house, and the difficulty of interposition. The girPs 
 face became scarlet, then white as snow. Without 
 betraying the slightest apprehension, she approached 
 within a pace of the dog, and, stooping slightly, 
 strove to engage his attention. The animaFs rolling 
 eye met hers, and became fixed. He ceased to shake 
 and mouth the object on which his fangs had closed, 
 and George was even sensible of some relaxation of his 
 vice-like hold. Would he spring upon the new comer? 
 
 " For God's sake,'' began George, trying a last 
 appeal — 
 
 " Be silent ! " was Esther's only reply, her eye 
 never quitting that of the dog. To the amazement 
 of everybody, Swartz now displayed evident symptoms 
 of quailing. Gradually, almost imperceptibly, he 
 detached his teeth from George's boots. Then Esther 
 slowly extended her hand. Swartz shrank back an 
 inch or two, shook the foam from his jaws, and 
 uttered a piteous whine. As if this had been a
 
 A Mere Scratcli. 65 
 
 signal of surrender^ the brave girl, without further 
 hesitation, put her hand between his collar and his 
 shaggy neck, and turned him in the direction of a 
 vacant kennel close at hand. Yielding to the im- 
 pulse, Swartz sufifered himself to be conducted thither, 
 and secured to the chain. But the excitement was 
 not yet over. In turning, Esther^s foot came in con- 
 tact with the water-can placed there for the usual 
 occupant of the kennel, and upset it. With the 
 bound of a tiger, the dog instantly flew at her ; but, 
 checked by the chain, only touched her wrist and 
 hand sufficiently to smear them with the mucous fluid 
 that fringed his jaws. 
 
 George had recognised the fatal sign — even if the 
 frightful appearance of the dog, reared on end, and 
 snapping with convulsive fury at fancied objects 
 around, had not of itself been proof sufficient. There 
 was but one thing to do, and no time to lose in doing 
 it. The staple that held the chain was of no great 
 strength, and might yield before the powerful strain. 
 He beckoned to the keeper, who put the gun into his 
 hand. 
 
 ^' Farewell, my brave old boy ! '' he said regretfully, 
 and fired. 
 
 The foam changed to blood, and Swartz rolled over 
 dead. 
 
 " Where is Miss Yann ? ^^ asked George, looking 
 round for his young preserver. 
 
 " In the 'ouse, I think, Su- George,^' said Mr. 
 Fanshaw. " I think she got a little faintjish. Sir 
 George. Shall I tell her you wants to see her. Sir 
 George ? "
 
 66 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 " Do no such, tiling/^ said Ms master, and walked 
 into the house. 
 
 Mr. Fanshaw took a letter from his pocket, and 
 examined it. 
 
 " There's somethin^ inside o^ you, I can feel/' he 
 muttered. ^^ Now, luot ? Shall I give it him now ? I 
 ort to. But, somehow, he don't seem in good cue." 
 
 And Mr. Fanshaw thoughtfully followed his master. 
 
 CHAPTER YL 
 
 The worthy butler had been right ; but not suffi- 
 ciently right. Miss Vann's faintishness had deepened 
 into a swoon, and her aunt's chamber, to which she 
 had been carried, was a scene of some anxiety. As 
 she regained consciousness, however, Mrs. Turnover 
 gradually cleared the apartment of all extraneous 
 company, and the consequence was that Esther's first 
 accents, on recovering her faculties, were heard by 
 her aunt alone. Scarcely had the bright eyes reopened, 
 when they were filled with a wild alarm. 
 
 " Is — is he — aunt, tell me — is he safe ? " she 
 gasped. 
 
 ''Yes — yes, dear — safe enough," Mrs. Turnover 
 hastened to reply. '' Keep quiet, I hear Mr. Fan- 
 shaw " She went to the door and called softly. 
 
 Mr. Fanshaw's voice was heard in faint response. '' Is 
 master bit ? That brute's fangs ain't touched him at 
 all, have they ?" 
 
 To this leading question Mr. Fanshaw was fortu- 
 nately able to reply in good faith :
 
 A Mere Scratch, 67 
 
 • '' No, Mrs. Turnover. Make yourself quite lieasy, 
 ma'am. They have not.''^ 
 
 Esther's ears had caught the welcome "word. 
 
 "God be praised!'' she uttered fervently; then^ 
 once more turning deadly white, sank back upon the 
 pillow. 
 
 Mrs. Turnover administered new restoratives, and 
 soon saw the colour returning. 
 
 " Well, you are a one, I must say," the good lady 
 could not help remarking. " So bold when there was 
 danger, and such a coward now there's none ! But, 
 there now, never mind ; lie you still for half an hour — • 
 
 and — then Mercy, girl, what's this ?" added 
 
 Mrs. Turnover, turning almost as pale as her patient 
 had done a minute before. 
 
 '' That ? " cried Esther, laughing. '''My dear aunt, 
 nothing ! A mere scratch." 
 
 " Not from the dog ? " 
 
 *' Dog ! No — no — no, dear. Calm yourself," said 
 Esther, hastily. '' I was plucking a rose. Sir George 
 addressed me suddenly, and I got a scratch — that's 
 all." 
 
 " Loi^, what a turn it giv' me !" said her aunt, 
 sitting down on the bed, with her hand on her portly 
 side. " No wonder, for there's all the mark of the 
 beast's foam close to it, on your wristband. I shall 
 take and snip it oiff." 
 
 She did so, and also washed and bound up the 
 passive hand, to all of which Esther submitted 
 placidly. 
 
 " And now," said Mrs. Turnover, '' I must go and 
 titivate myself a bit. I 'spects somebody else will 
 
 F 2
 
 68 A Mere Scratch, 
 
 be a-wantin' of me. (I wonder if Fansliaw^s giv^ the 
 letter !) Now, you lay quiet as a mouse for half an 
 hour. I shall putt myself to rights in Dolly's room, 
 so's not to worrit you, a-bobbing about. Get a sleep 
 if you can, if 'tis only a wink.'^ 
 
 Not even the relief obtainable from a nap of this 
 duration was yet vouchsafed to Esther. She did 
 indeed close her eyes, until her aunt, after a minute's 
 rummage among the treasures of her wardrobe, trotted 
 off to an adjoining room, and closed the door. Then, 
 however, she rose from the bed, and, kneeling beside 
 it, poured out her soul in gratitude to the great De- 
 fender, who had, through her feeble hand, turned 
 aside so great a peril. Then, in the reaction that 
 succeeds intense excitement, sleep deigned to visit 
 her. 
 
 A few minutes had elapsed, when the door of the 
 apartment to which Mrs. Turnover had retired opened 
 softly, and displayed that lady listening, and lacing 
 her stays. Finding all quiet, she advanced a step or 
 two in the direction of Esther's room, and this enables 
 us to record the fact that the good lady usually wore, 
 under her dress, an uncertain-coloured petticoat, 
 which might be described as pepper-and-salt, with a 
 dash of mustard, and whose brevity authorises the 
 addition that she regarded black cotton stockings, 
 with grey worsted tops, as becoming and economical 
 wear. 
 
 What article of dress the lady had forgotten to take 
 from her drawer is not material to this narrative. 
 She deemed it essential, since, with great care and 
 pains, she made her way noiselessly into the chamber.
 
 A Mere Scratch. 69 
 
 and was stretching out her hand to the half-opened 
 drawer, when a murmur from the sleeper's lips caught 
 her ear. She stopped. Again the murmur. It 
 sounded, this time, like somebody's name. 
 
 '^ Eh !— TFA— a^ ? '' said Mrs. Turnover, softly. 
 "TT7/af'sthat?" 
 
 She had advanced just beyond the curtain of Esther's 
 couch, and, by merely revolving on the stately pedes- 
 tals we have already referred to as clothed in black 
 and grey, without moving from her place, could dis- 
 tinguish Esther's face. The cheek was flushed, and, 
 even in sleep, a tear was upon it, while her lips moved 
 in feverish action. For a moment her words were 
 inaudible, then shaped themselves into : 
 
 '' Safe !— Safe !— My life !— My more than life !— 
 George ! " She breathed a profound sigh, and sank 
 into quiet rest. 
 
 ^^ Well — I — never ! " were the first words the lis- 
 tener's quivering lips attempted to frame. 
 
 After a moment, Mrs. Turnover appeared to rally 
 her disordered thoughts. She faced the bed. As she 
 gazed on the pretty sleeper, a tear crept into her eye, 
 and if somethingf in the facial ano^le did direct it down 
 the nose instead of the cheeks, there was no less 
 honour due to the generous som-ce from whence it 
 came. 
 
 Then she glanced at the half-open drawer, and the 
 reflection : ^^ How lucky 'twas I come back for my 
 bustle ! How things do bob up unexpectedly ! " 
 passed through her mind. 
 
 With that, the kind soul turned, and observing, if 
 possible, double caution, stole back to the chamber
 
 70 A Mere Scratch, 
 
 she had left. Good woman ! If Turnover could see 
 you now, that often-quoted man must have acknow- 
 ledged his confidence in your frank and single-hearted 
 nature not misplaced, and that the most complimen- 
 tary of all his last speeches did not exceed your 
 desert. 
 
 That Mrs. Turnover did not experience a pang of 
 disappointment is not pretended. The credit claimed 
 for her is mainly due to the readiness with which she 
 confessed to herself that, whatever might be the issue 
 of Esther^s attachment, the fact of its existence was 
 an absolute and insuperable bar to her own preten- 
 sions. 
 
 " Pretty, sweet creetur ! ^^ said Mrs. Turnover, as 
 she finished her lacing before the glass, and saw (but 
 she was not apostrophising that) a large coarse torso 
 in the aforesaid dirt- coloured petticoat, and a square 
 head with short grizzled hair. '' Lord bless my soul ! 
 what an old gaby I had nearly gone and been ! Cun- 
 ning little ^ussy that you be ! YouM never ha^ told 
 me — not you ! And think of all that purtence of 
 anger last night, and wouldn^t even stoop — my lady 
 wouldn^t — to open the door for him ! And sheM 
 on'y seen his pictur,^ a'ter all ! Well, love's a queer 
 thing ! There goes the cussed string ! " Lace re- 
 newed, and Mrs. Turnover continued : '* ' George/ she 
 called him ! Well, people is bold, asleep ! ^' 
 
 The good lady hastily completed her toilette, re- 
 suming her original or working garments, and, after 
 one peep at the still slumbering Esther, hurried down- 
 stairs in search of Mr. Fanshaw. 
 
 That gentleman's movements, since we last saw
 
 A Mere Scratch. 71 
 
 him, had been characterised by considerable indecision. 
 The important letter had been confided to him, with 
 instructions to use his own discretion in the mode of 
 deUvery. But for this mysterious addition, the worthy 
 man would, no doubt, have adopted the common- 
 sense course of placing it beside his master's other 
 letters on the breakfast-table. As, however, this 
 proceeding seemed to demand no particular exercise 
 of discretion or delicacy of touch, Mr. Fanshaw at 
 once rejected it, as a non-fulfilment of his mission, 
 and, wandering about with the document in his hand, 
 speculated within himself how on earth Cupid's post- 
 men usually executed their office. 
 
 During his hesitation the letter-bag arrived, un- 
 commonly full. A moment afterwards, the footman 
 entered w4th some breakfast articles. 
 
 " Master's coming down, Mr. Fanshaw." 
 
 ^^ Is he? Anchovy toast. Run, Thomas— quick !" 
 said the butler, hurriedly. His eye had rested on the 
 silver muffin-dish, and an idea, bright as its own 
 beaming cover, occurred to him. He lifted it, hesi- 
 tated — would it grease? Sir George's step approached. 
 In his flurry, Mr. Fanshaw dropped the note on the 
 muffin. There was no time to recover it ; he replaced 
 the cover. 
 
 The baronet entered, glanced hastily over the ranks 
 of letters, looked relieved, and sat down to breakfast. 
 At this instant, Mr. Fanshaw, standing opposite, 
 caught sight of the portly figure of Mrs. Turnover, 
 executing, outside the half-open door, a series of wild 
 and agitated movements, the object of which he could 
 only interpret as either a request to know if he had
 
 72 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 yet presented the letter^ or an injunction to do it if 
 lie had not. So earnest grew the pantomime^ that 
 Mr. Fanshaw made a movement to withdraw, and 
 join her. 
 
 '^ Stay a moment, Fanshaw/^ said his master, who 
 had opened a letter. 
 
 Unable to explain further, the butler gave Mrs. 
 Turnover a reassuring smile, and significantly pushed 
 the muffin-dish an inch or so nearer to his master. 
 Finding this had not the tranquillising effect he 
 expected, Mr. Fanshaw, observing that Sir George 
 was still absorbed in his letter, ventured to raise 
 the lid, just sufficiently to afford the anxious lady 
 an opportunity of noticing the promising aspect 
 of affairs, while at the same time he directed a 
 triumphant glance through the door. In acknow- 
 ledgment, Mrs. Turnover threw up her arms in some 
 species of ecstacy, flung her apron over her head, and 
 staggered away. Mr. Fanshaw stared after her in 
 some perplexity. 
 
 '' Now, that didn^t sim like j'y,^^ was his reflection. 
 He began to wish he could regain the letter. 
 
 '' Fanshaw ! '' 
 
 " Yes, Sir George.^' 
 
 " Fanshaw ! Oh, you will present my compliments 
 to Miss Yann, and beg her, when she has fully re- 
 covered, to afford me an opportunity of expressing 
 my acknowledgments of the great service she has this 
 day rendered to me, and, indeed, to all my house- 
 hold.^' 
 
 " Yes, Sir George." 
 
 '^ Stay, give me a muffin. '^
 
 A Mere Scratch, 73 
 
 " Muffin, Sir George ? " 
 
 "Muffin/^ 
 
 At that supreme moment the butler was conscious 
 of the reappearance of Mrs. Turnover_, now in an un- 
 mistakeable attitude of despair, while Dolly, equally 
 agitated, peeped over her shoulder. It was, however, 
 too late. Mr. Fanshaw had placed the fatal dish 
 within reach, and was preparing to beat a precipitate 
 retreat. 
 
 " Take off the cover,^^ said George. 
 
 Mr. Fanshaw obeyed. One glance revealed the 
 fact that the steam-saturated letter had begun to 
 imbibe the rich fluid below, and, having once tasted 
 thereof, was rapidly becoming inebriated. 
 
 ''Why, what in the name of ^^ began George, 
 
 lifting it curiously with his fork. '' Here, take this 
 away ! Something has got into it.-*^ 
 
 "Bless me, so there be ! '' cried the butler, as he 
 whipped off the dish, muttering something about 
 " the baker." 
 
 " Lor' ! What a providence ! '' gasped Mrs. Turn- 
 over, as Mr. Fanshaw presented her with the recovered 
 treasure, dish and all. Snatching off the letter, the 
 good woman hurried away. 
 
 For some time after he had finished both his letters 
 and his breakfast, the young baronet remained at the 
 table, immersed in thought. With an effort, he rose 
 and went into his study. There he took two or three 
 restless turns, then rang the bell, and flung himself 
 into a chair. 
 
 " Now for my fate," he muttered. 
 
 A servant appeared.
 
 74 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 " Desire tlie coo " George checked himself. 
 
 " Say to Mrs. Turnover that I shall be glad to see her 
 for a minute.-'^ 
 
 Mrs. Turnover's a-waitin'^ Sir George/^ was the 
 prompt reply. 
 
 '^ Beg her to come in.'' 
 
 Mrs. Turnover, quietly attired, came in. Though 
 on a large scale, and of that general aspect which a 
 fastidious critic might have described in the not un- 
 common expression " vulgar/' the worthy cook was, 
 for her style, a personable woman. It may further be 
 that the consciousness of a generous purpose had im- 
 parted to her countenance and manner a degree of 
 softness and dignity not usually to be found there. At 
 all events, her young master thought he had never 
 seen her look so comely since the days when, as a 
 schoolboy, he had not disdained to receive surrepti- 
 tious dainties at that large and liberal hand. 
 
 " Sit down, I beg," said Sir George. 
 
 Mrs. Turnover bobbed a curtsey, and remained 
 standing. 
 
 " Sit, sit, my good friend," said Sir George, a little 
 impatiently. 
 
 ^^ Beggin' your pardon. Sir George," was the reply, 
 '^ I prefer standin'." 
 
 Sir George rose. 
 
 Mrs. Turnover cleared her throat, twitched her 
 apron nervously, and began : ^^ I was wishful. Sir 
 George, to give hanser, so quick as I could, to what 
 you was a-saying of last night. I've been considerin' 
 of it, as you bordered. Sir George, and with my 
 respectful dooty and thanks, I shall be most 'appy" —
 
 A Mere Scratch. 75 
 
 George's heart stood still — " for to remain your cook ; 
 but as to being your wife^ I^d rayther^, when I doos 
 marry, keep to my hone spear/' 
 
 ^' Of your feelings on such a point, my good Bar- 
 bara, you must, of course, be the best judge,'' said the 
 much relieved suitor ; ^^ but do not decide hastily." 
 
 " 'Tis settled. Sir George : and I'm very glad to see 
 you take it so kindly, sir. I was afeerd, seeing how 
 earnest you was, that you might be disappinted," said 
 the honest cook. 
 
 George took the good woman's hand, and was hypo- 
 crite enough to allow a shade of tranquil resignation 
 to be perceptible in his countenance as he replied, 
 with a melancholy smile, that it was not his first dis- 
 appointment, and he should overcome it as he might ; 
 adding, after a decent pause, that he should dine at 
 home that day, and expected two friends. 
 
 Mrs. Turnover curtseyed, and prepared to with- 
 draw ; but, pausing a moment, remarked, " Hevery 
 day I lives, I has occasion to bless them last words as 
 hever hissued from the lips of T." 
 
 " Tea ?" said George, absently. 
 
 " The same was as follers," resumed Mrs. Turnover, 
 '' He was total unconscious. Indeed, we thought he 
 were gone, when, suddenly, he opens one eye, and 
 winks twice : which meaning ' stimulants,' they was 
 giv', and he says, faintly, ' Fishes don't enjy bilin' 
 water.' Thinking he was a-wanderin', we nodded 
 cheerful-like; but he goes on: ^A dillykid female 
 'oodn't live long at the bottom of the Harctic Sea.'^ 
 After that, we thought he luas going; but, with a 
 great hefifort, poor dear, he just managed to hadd :
 
 76 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 ^ Tlieer^s social differences. While there is, stick to 
 'em. When there ain't, don't let 'em stick to you. 
 Adoo ! ' " 
 
 *' Your excellent husband seems to have reserved 
 many results of his experience to a very late moment !" 
 remarked George. "At this precise instant, my 
 mind is, I fear, too fully occupied with selfish thoughts 
 to appreciate them properly. I have this morning 
 escaped an imminent peril " (more than one, his 
 thought suggested), " and I am impatient till I have 
 thanked my deliverer. Is your niece sufficiently re- 
 covered to afford me the opportunity ?'' 
 
 Mrs. Turnover considered that, by this time, she 
 was, and would hasten to see if such were the 
 case. 
 
 " I have played the booby long enough," soliloquised 
 the master of the mansion, left alone. " Honesty 
 and common sense inspire me ! I will tell her the 
 whole truth, and then " 
 
 Mrs. Turnover had a harder task than she ex- 
 pected. Her niece was indeed awake, and, calmed 
 and invigorated by her unwonted siesta, looked as 
 charming as need be. But the going down — except 
 for the single end of going away — was not to be 
 thought of. 
 
 At length, Mrs. Turnover lost all patience. 
 
 *^ Well, of all the contrairy creeturs I ever did see, 
 you beats all ! You wentered your life to protect 
 his'n — nay, I believe," added Mrs. Turnover, darkly, 
 ''you've actially been a-dreamin' of him." Esther 
 started. " Child, you loves him ! Won't you go 
 downstairs ?"
 
 A Mere Scratch. 77 
 
 " If what you say were true, ma'am/' Esther replied, 
 with burning cheeks, *^^you, of all people, should be 
 the last to force me into his presence/' 
 
 " Highty-tighty ! Who wants to force your ryal 
 'ighness ? And why should / be the last to make 
 you do what in your 'art you wishes ?" demanded the 
 cook, losing all control of her temper. " Now, look 
 here. If you don't go down and be thanked like a 
 reasonable woman, I'll go to master myself, and tell 
 him flat that you was a-makin' love to his pictur. 
 Noiu ! " 
 
 " Aunt, aunt ! I could not have believed that you 
 T^ould have been so cruel — so— so — wicked," said 
 Esther, bursting into tears. 
 
 '^ Cruel ! Wicked ! " ejaculated Mrs. Turnover, 
 aghast. " Why, what " 
 
 ^' To compel me, feeling as you say and believe I do, 
 to hold any further intercourse with this gentleman, 
 to whom, miserably for yourself and for him, you are 
 about to be married ! " 
 
 " Hoh ! Thafs it ? Who said we was going to be 
 married ? " said her aunt, in an altered tone. 
 
 " Have you not accepted his offer ? " 
 
 " Who's gone and put that nonsense into your little 
 head?" asked her aunt, with an assumption of so 
 much innocence that Esther gazed at her in dumb 
 surprise. "Don't you think it possible as I might 
 like to hear what they'd say below, without railly 
 meaning to make such a ninny of myself as that comes 
 to ? P'raps I'd a fancy to tease Mrs. Mapes. But, 
 there, a joke's a joke, and if master had his'n, why, 
 I've had mine."
 
 78 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 ^' Oh., aunt^ I am so glad ! '^ cried Esther. '^ How 
 wise ! liow prudent I how disinterested ! '' 
 
 ^' But^ good gracious, cliild 1 you stand cliatterin^ 
 here, and master's waiting ! Now, Esther, I insist 
 upon your going instant down. I'm not going to be 
 married to him a bit, and so Pve told him. Why, 
 what ever is the matter with the girl?'' continued 
 Mrs. Turnover, flushing with anger and excitement. 
 " You was glib enough to his pictur. As I'm a livin' 
 'oman, I'll tell him." 
 
 The movement she made to quit the room decided 
 Esther. 
 
 ^' Stay, stay, aunt ! " she exclaimed ; '^ I wiU go 
 down. It will be better — in the end." 
 
 Uttering the last words almost in soliloquy, she 
 quitted the room. 
 
 The dialogue above recorded had allowed Sir George 
 a little time for renewed self-examination and the 
 arrangement of his thoughts, so that, on Miss Vann 
 making her appearance, wearing very much the aspect 
 of an empress whose privacy had been invaded by the 
 exigencies of a public audience, he was prepared to 
 meet her with a dignity equal to — and an ease greater 
 than — her own. 
 
 Having made his purposed acknowledgments for 
 the service she had, at such imminent personal hazard, 
 rendered to himself and people, George respectfully 
 bespoke her further attention for a few moments, and 
 thereupon related, without stint or pause, the history 
 of his engagement to Miss Mulcaster, its abrupt and 
 hopeless termination, his own mad yielding to a wild 
 and foolish impulse, the attempt he had nevertheless
 
 A Mere Scratch. 79 
 
 felt it incumbent on him to make to carry it out, and 
 its failure. In making these humiliating confessions, 
 he trusted his patient hearer would at least give him 
 credit for sincerity of purpose. Had Miss Vann's 
 estimable relation accepted the overture he had been 
 induced to make, nothing should have been wanting 
 on his part that might reconcile her to the duties of 
 her new station. Her reason and foresight, however, 
 which put his entirely to shame, had suggested a 
 course of greater wisdom, and more likely to conduce 
 to the happiness of both, thus leaving him, the speaker, 
 free to — to 
 
 "To ?'' 
 
 " To make a fitter choice.^' 
 
 Miss Yann must be forgiven for observing that 
 there did not appear to be any choice in the matter. 
 
 Sir George Goshng had indulged the hope that the 
 cjourse of his remarks would have indicated his having 
 arrived at sounder views; aware of the selfishness 
 which lay at the root of his intemperate vow, he cast 
 it to the winds. 
 
 Miss Yann was aware that those atmospheric agents 
 possessed a very extensive treasury of the kind, but, 
 nevertheless, entertained doubts as to the legal 
 transfer. That, however, was beyond her province. 
 She would wish Sir George good morning. 
 
 Sir George considered that it could scarcely prove 
 such to him, unless his hearer vouchsafed her attention 
 a httle longer. 
 
 But there was nothing more to say. 
 
 Her pardon. There was. Everything. 
 
 How?
 
 80 A Mere Scratch, 
 
 Thus. He had frankly described his engagement 
 with Miss Mulcaster; how their intimacy, begun in 
 childhood, had ripened into what he had been accus- 
 tomed to regard as a mutual attachment; and how, 
 on the very threshold of their union, one of the 
 parties had recoiled from the bargain. The blow, 
 thus rudely dealt, had awakened in his heart a se- 
 rious doubt whether Miss Mulcaster had ever felt 
 towards him as she permitted him to believe ; while 
 the speaker, on his part, was disposed to question 
 whether, in his estimate of her character, he had 
 attached sufficient importance to a certain weakness 
 and frivolity which underlay her more attractive 
 quahties. In one word, George must acknowledge 
 he no longer adored the idol of his boyhood. He 
 had tested her and found her mortal. Dreams were 
 over for him. Henceforth, he stooped to truth, to 
 reason, to reality. These — and how much more he 
 would not add — he believed he had discovered in — • 
 in her who had so patiently Hstened to his discourse. 
 
 It was well that George^s speech came to a con- 
 clusion. Esther had turned very white, and looked 
 so likely to faint, that he had to place her in a 
 chair. She rallied, however, with an effort, and 
 George, encom-aged by the returning colour, and a 
 faint smile that straggled about her lips, ventured to 
 return to the charge. 
 
 During those ajDpeals and explanations, to which 
 George^s historian has done but indifferent justice, 
 the mind of his hearer had fluctuated not a httle. 
 Touched at length to the heart by his frank and 
 earnest manner, she ended by believing every syl-
 
 A Mere Scratch. 81 
 
 lable. Strange and sudden as was the attacliment 
 he had formed for her, something seemed to whisper 
 her that it was of more genuine and natural growth 
 than that from whose ashes it had sprung; and if the 
 exciting circumstances of the hour had led to a some- 
 what premature declaration, had she a right to dispute 
 it on that ground alone ? After a moment's hesita- 
 tion, breaking into a bright smile, she gave him her 
 hand. It was the left. 
 
 George happened to be superstitious on this sub- 
 ject. He hesitated. '^ A half forgiveness ?'' he asked, 
 smiling. 
 
 She held out the other. 
 
 " Good Heavens, what is this ? '* exclaimed the 
 young man, thinking only of the dog. 
 
 '^ Nothing. The rose,'' said Esther. 
 
 George was much reheved. He took the Kttle hand 
 tenderly, and kissed it. 
 
 There followed a little further conversation, with 
 uhich we have no other concern than to know that 
 it resulted in an understanding that the engagement 
 (for such it must now be considered) should be kept 
 secret for a period of twelve calendar months, subse- 
 quently reduced to six, and ultimately, on petition, 
 to three, during which no communication whatever was 
 to take place between the contracting parties. To 
 this last condition Miss Yann held firm. Sir George 
 was to enjoy a period of three months for undisturbed 
 self-examination. If, tJien, the impression that he 
 now knew his own mind, was sufficiently confirmed, 
 he would use his discretion as to announcing the en- 
 gagement ; but any word of marriage, or allusion to 
 
 G
 
 82 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 that events witliin one twelvemonth^ was to nullify 
 the whole transaction. 
 
 Article the last. Sir George was to order the car- 
 riage forthwith. 
 
 He did so, and led the young lady to the door, still 
 looking wistfully at the bandaged hand. 
 
 " I fear you are suffering more than you will con- 
 fess ? '' he said. 
 
 " I do not feel it at all/^ replied Esther, with her 
 radiant smile. 
 
 " I shall send to inquire the progress of the cure.^^ 
 
 '^It will be your last communication, then,^^ said 
 Esther. '^ Remember our conditions.^^ 
 
 " Nay, but I am really anxious " 
 
 ^^ Nonsense,^^ said Esther, laughing ; " a mere 
 scratch ! " 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 It was some weeks after the momentous occurrences 
 above related, that Mrs. Mulcaster and her fair 
 daughters found themselves together in their pretty 
 drawing-room, following, or attempting to follow, 
 their accustomed avocations. 
 
 Miss Mulcaster, pale and sweet as a lily that has 
 peeped out in the confidence of May, and been nipped 
 by that inclement season, seemed, of the three, to 
 have made the greatest efforts to be industrious, and 
 to have succeeded least. 
 
 Her harp, with one string snapped (a catastrophe 
 that brought the day^s practice to a conclusion), stood
 
 A Mere Scratch. 83 
 
 on one side ; some work lay on the otlier. Before her 
 was an unfinished landscape, with something terrible 
 in the sky, and, in the foreground, an incomplete tra- 
 veller, who had reined up his steed in very natural 
 consternation at the weird aspect of things. A per- 
 fect parapet of books, blue, red, mauve, yellow, evinced 
 that the young lady had tried, by every ordinary 
 means, to exorcise the demon of unrest, before folding 
 her white hands and yielding fairly to the languid 
 inactivity in which we find her. 
 
 It had been a week of much uncertainty and discon- 
 tent. The mere material absence of George was an 
 evil in itself. Nobody ever bore teasing like him. 
 Never was a victim whose gentle retorts gave greater 
 zest to provocation ! These pleasures had departed, 
 and left a weary void. The hours his presence had 
 enlivened must be filled up somehow, and every 
 attempt to do this in a satisfactory manner had ended 
 in signal failure. As for the cause of his absence, that 
 was, by consent, ignored, as a matter at once too dis- 
 tressing for laughter, and too absurd for tears. 
 
 Mrs. Mulcaster had proposed change of scene for 
 her injured darling, and had even written surrep- 
 titiously to a friend. Lady Mary St. Colomb, at Ryde, 
 on the subject of cheerful lodgings ; but Mildred, on 
 being sounded, at once announced her inteution of 
 
 remaining where she was, until — until — no matter 
 
 To which period the project was accordingly deferred. 
 
 Remarkable rumours had reached The Haie during 
 the past week. That something of an unusual nature 
 had occurred at Gosling Graize could not admit of a 
 doubt. But what was it? The hundi'ed tongjes of 
 
 G 2
 
 84 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 rumour sometimes confound eacli otlier, and nothing 
 comes of the Babel but a desperate rout. There was 
 no coherence in the advices from the village with 
 which Gosling Graize held its most intimate relations. 
 If, for example, as alleged. Sir George had shown 
 symptoms of aberration of intellect, how should the 
 cook^s having killed a dog in the same condition have 
 been the means of her master's recovery ? Or how 
 should the reported betrothal of Sir George to a young 
 lady of enormous wealth, and descent little short of 
 royal, have proved so unacceptable to a verj^ illustrious 
 personage as to induce the Reverend Mr. Phlunkey 
 to decline the publication of the banns for the ensuing 
 Sunday ? Again, why should the decease of the dog 
 throw the cook, who killed him, into such a frenzy of 
 despair, that nothing short of the marriage of Sir 
 George with a Miss Van Splugen, who was a remote 
 connexion of the burgomaster of Saardam, would 
 restore her equanimity ? The cook, the dog, the lady, 
 and Sir George, seemed, in short, to be engaged in a 
 sort of reel, into which the butler, though without a 
 partner, was perpetually intruding, and creating the 
 most perplexing complications. 
 
 Yague and cursory allusions had fallen from casual 
 visitors ; but those parties had invariably, like skaters 
 approaching a spot marked ^^ dangerous," glanced 
 swiftly off into indifierent topics, having that forced 
 flavour that indicates, unmistakably, how imminent 
 had been the peril. Into these, poor Mrs. Mulcaster, 
 burning with anxiety to understand what had really 
 happened, was compelled to follow. Come what 
 might of Gosling Graize and its proprietor, it was not
 
 A Mere Scratch. 85 
 
 for her to express one word of interest in the matter. 
 Bat she compared notes in private with her younger 
 daughter, and was at no pains to conceal her dis- 
 quietude. 
 
 " You may smile, Louisa, and arch your brows, but 
 mark my words. That boy, in his excitement, has 
 done something rash — committed himself, I mean, to 
 some folly that it may tax all the ingenuity of his 
 friends to set aside, and may, after all, entail upon 
 him lasting misery.''' 
 
 " Be quite easy, dearest mamma/' replied Louisa, 
 '' and mark mij words. In another week George will 
 be amoDs^ us on the same footino^ as before.'' 
 
 Her mother smiled at the bold prophecy, but shook 
 her head. 
 
 " I know George Gosling," she said. 
 
 " And I Mildred Mulcaster," said Louey. 
 
 As the ladies sat together on the day we have men- 
 tioned, a visitor waited upon them, the announcement 
 of whose name seemed to create a subdued sensation 
 not wholly complimentary. 
 
 " Miss Shrapnell." 
 
 This lady was the last that remained unmarried of 
 the verv numerous dauarhters of the late Lord Boombe. 
 The deceased nobleman had been a quiet, mild-man- 
 nered little man, shy and nervous to the last degree. 
 His disposition was so gentle and humane, that it 
 seems like a pleasantry to state that his whole exist- 
 ence was passed in the invention of the most terrific 
 agents for the destruction of the person and property 
 of his fellow-men. 
 
 To him is society indebted for the first conception
 
 86 A Mere ScmtcJu 
 
 of that delicate little instrument tlie Seaquake shelly 
 whose mere fillip suffices to hurl the largest line-of- 
 battle ship that ever swam, fifty fathoms out of her 
 native element. 
 
 To Lord Boombe the world^s best acknowledgments 
 are considerably overdue for that beautiful adaptation 
 of steam-power to military ends, which, at the distance 
 of three miles, will effect the annihilation of an entire 
 battalion, colonel, drummers, band, doctor, and all, in 
 the insignificant space of one minute and a half. 
 
 Encouraged by obtaining, after a correspondence of 
 thirty-five years, the consent of G^overnment to test 
 the value of this last invention on the very first 
 favourable opportunity, his lordship next turned his 
 attention to the perfecting his balloon siege-bomb, 
 calculated to reduce, at one discharge, the most 
 powerful fortress in Europe, when a slight explosion 
 in his laboratory, so trivial as to have been mistaken 
 by the butler for the cat sneezing, shattered his 
 nervous system, and, in fact, originated the illness 
 from which he died. 
 
 The family mansion, Battery-Boombe, was curious 
 in itself, as representing the old system of Yauban 
 adapted to the residence of a small British family. 
 It had a drawbridge, moat, and wall, with salient and 
 re-entering angles complete, although it was almost 
 beyond the range of possibility that any rational 
 human being would sally or re-enter thereby. There 
 was a laboratory and a guard-room, besides another 
 apartment or two, the whole made bomb-proof with a 
 covering of earth twelve feet thick ; the six young 
 ladies inhabited the casemates, until, finding, in due
 
 A Mere Scratch. 87 
 
 course, mates of another description, tliey were dis- 
 charged — married — like shots fired at regular intervals. 
 The sixth, and now the sole, Miss Shrapnell, formed, 
 with her own modest establishment, the entire 
 garrison holding Battery-Boo mbe, from which she 
 descended, grenade in hand, whenever a fitting op- 
 portunity for exploding the same with effect seemed 
 to present itself. 
 
 Miss Shrapnell, like her excellent father, had a soft, 
 silken manner, which went some way towards winning 
 entrance into the good graces of all who were not 
 forewarned of what was likely to ensue. She had a 
 knack of possessing herself of every species of unwel- 
 come news. She would mould and condense the same 
 into a verbal ball, and, having first artfally created a 
 little garden of delight, in which everybody was com- 
 pletely happy and at ease, bang went the shot into the 
 very midst, and off, in the confusion, sailed Miss 
 Shrapnell, exulting. 
 
 Mrs. Mulcaster was fully aware of this little pecu- 
 liarity, and felt towards her visitor much the same 
 regard and confidence with which James the First 
 might have welcomed Guy Fawkes, had that gentle- 
 man escaped and presented himself at a levee. 
 
 Sweetly and softly Miss Shrapnell came melting 
 into the room. 
 
 " Dear friends ! Atlast. Hush — stop. Dear Miss 
 Mulcaster, for one moment, I implore you — don't stir 
 — don't even breathe! Heavens! what a picture!'^ 
 (She drew a deep inspiration.) '' Enough ! Thanks. 
 You three dear, beautiful, and happy beings,'' con- 
 tinued the enthusiastic lady, ^' what a gift is yours!
 
 88 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 Without uttering one syllable^ without the movement 
 of a muscle, you have been able to make a poor 
 solitary creature happy for the day. How bright you 
 look '' 
 
 "Louey, draw down that blind/^ said Mrs. 
 Mul caster. 
 
 ^' — how tranquil! how serene! Dear Mrs. Mul- 
 caster, how sweetly this troublesome world glides 
 onwards with its favoured few ! Nature, art, destiny, 
 seem to enter into little plots to make certain people 
 happy. Are you not of these, dear friend ? Confess, 
 now — are you not as perfectly content as human heart 
 can desire ?" 
 
 ^^ I — I am very content and happy — in my surround- 
 ings,^^ said the lady addressed, suspiciously. 
 
 " Content !^' moaned Miss Shrapnell. ^^ Then, may 
 Heaven forgive you V' 
 
 " Well, I hope so,^^ said Mrs. Mulcaster, still on her 
 guard. " But, may I ask, ivliy ?" 
 
 " Content ! Simply content ! Your glorious Mil- 
 dred ! Your gentle, twining Louey V 
 
 " I am called a parasite V said Miss Louisa, pre- 
 tending to pout. 
 
 "With such blessings as these, my dear Mrs. 
 Mulcaster,^^ continued their visitor, in an admonitory 
 tone, ^' I hold flat contentment nothing short of crime ! 
 
 This dear nest of yours always reminds me of Dear 
 
 me ! Mildred, darling, yon know everything — what^s 
 that that builds upon the sea V 
 
 " Is it a riddle V asked Mildred. 
 
 "No; a question." 
 
 " A duck," said Mildred, languidly.
 
 4 Mere Scratch. 89 
 
 " Nonsense, my dear ; a hal — sometliing. Well, 
 The Haie always reminds me of the hal thing. 
 Sunshine and smooth waters. Not one ripple. Not 
 one cloud. ■'^ 
 
 . Mrs. Mulcaster became seriously alarmed. Miss 
 Shrapnell had evidently covered the enemy, and was 
 fingering the lanyard of her gun. If Mildred could 
 only be got out of range, all was well. 
 
 " Mildred, sweet," she said anxiously, " Miss 
 Shrapnell, I am sure, will kindly excuse you. 
 Eemember your little walk.-*^ 
 
 ^^ Mildred, sweet,^^ was, however, insensible to the 
 danger, and being indisposed for any little walk, 
 retained her seat. 
 
 " Well, I, at all events, must go my way," resumed 
 Miss Shrapnell. '^ Five minutes in this dear, tranquil 
 house does more for me than an hour elsewhere. It 
 tones and braces me. The music of the spheres 
 (which must have been something highly gratifying) 
 might surely find a parallel in the quiet soothing har- 
 mony that pervades this blessed mansion. Do you 
 know, I always feel inclined to call it ^ home^ V 
 
 " 1 am sure you could not pay it a more welcome 
 compliment than by making it such, as much as 
 possible," said the lady addressed, preparing to bow 
 the visitor out as promptly as politeness allowed. 
 
 "Adieu, then, my happy Three!" cried the 
 affectionate lady, and, to Mrs. Mulcaster^s equal sur- 
 prise and relief, tripped harmlessly away. Still, there 
 was a lurking gleam in her eye, like the glimmering 
 of a portfire, and Mrs. Mulcaster could hardly bring 
 herself to believe that Fawkes, after laying his
 
 90 A Mere Scratch, 
 
 powder with sucli manifest pains^ would depart with- 
 out applying the match. 
 
 Her misgiving was correct. The bonnet of Miss 
 Shrapnell, like the muzzle of a gun suddenly run out, 
 reappeared at the door. She smiled sweetly on the 
 three : 
 
 " Heard the news ?" 
 
 ^' No/^ exclaimed Mildred. 
 
 '' Sir George Gosling is engaged to his cook.^^ 
 
 Miss Shrapnell softly closed the door, and drove 
 away in the highest glee. Never had she delivered a 
 calmer, more accurate, and more discomfiting shot. 
 It was some minutes before the excellent lady could 
 compose herself, fitly, to the preparation of another 
 little missile, intended for a quiet family who, 
 she had every reason to believe, had money in a 
 country bank that had suspended payment that 
 morning. 
 
 The explosion of an actual bomb in the drawing- 
 room of The Haie could hardly have produced greater 
 consternation. Mildred threw up her arms with a cry 
 of horror. Louisa burst into tears. Mrs. Mulcaster, 
 better prepared for the fatal tidings, thought only of 
 their effect upon her darling — on whom she lavished 
 every consolation her mind could suggest. But 
 Mildred repulsed her; not harshly, hovfever. Self- 
 reproach was the dominant feeling. George had done 
 only what he had threatened, and had been defied to 
 do. The w^ork was entirely her own. 
 
 " I am a vile, wicked, heartless woman,^^ moaned 
 Mildred. " Take away your hands, mamma. Let 
 nobody caress me — nobody comfort me. I tell you I
 
 A Mere Scratch. 91 
 
 am all made up of self and folly. mamma, why 
 didn't you ? Why didn't you ?'' 
 
 '^ My treasure, didn't I wJiat ?" said Mrs. Mulcaster, 
 soothingly. 
 
 "Punish me when I was little!" retorted the 
 spoiled one, with flashing eyes. " You knew my 
 wilfulness." 
 
 " Pretty well/' sighed poor Mrs. Mulcaster. 
 
 " There — you confess it — and with all my life's 
 happiness at stake ! O mamma, I wish I could 
 forgive you !" 
 
 "Louisa, do you hear this?'' said Mrs. Mulcaster, 
 turning to her younger daughter. " Should Pro- 
 vidence ever send you children, recollect that too 
 great tenderness may cost you their duty." 
 
 " Mildred is not herself, mamma," said Louey, with 
 some warmth. " I do believe she is mad." 
 
 " I thank you, Louisa, for your very kind and 
 sisterly remark," said Mildred, majestically. " I 
 shall at least know where I need not seek comfort or 
 sympathy in my sorrow." 
 
 " You told us_, dear, ymi did not want any," replied 
 Louisa. 
 
 Mildred put her tiny hands to her face. 
 
 " Louey, Louey !" exclaimed her mother, "surely 
 this is not the tone. Govern your temper, I beg, or 
 I must request you to leave the room, until my 
 suffering child is better able to endure such re- 
 bukes." 
 
 " Pm not suffering at all, mamma," said Mildred, 
 bursting into a flood of tears. 
 
 " My darling, compose yourself. See, Louisa, what
 
 92 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 your violence has done ! Hark^ hark ! There^s a 
 visitor. Quick, Louisa. Not at home.''^ 
 
 " Stop, Louey/' said Mildred, wiping her beautiful 
 eyes, and regaining her dignity. " This must not be. 
 Let them come. Let anybody come. Mamma, I am 
 ashamed of you. Would you wish it said that your 
 daughter was breaking her heart in solitude because 
 her lover had deserted her for his scullion ?''^ 
 
 "Because," remarked Louisa, dryly, "that would 
 hardly represent the facts." 
 
 " Hush, both of you," said Mrs. Mulcaster, 
 authoritatively. 
 
 And the servant announced — 
 
 "Colonel Lugard." 
 
 The colonel saw at a glance that tidings of some 
 sort had reached The Haie. Nevertheless, the smile 
 he had worn on entering did not relax ; but, on the 
 contrary, broadened into a decided laugh. 
 
 ^'1 caught sight of Miss Shrapnell^s pony-carriage,^' 
 he said, " as I turned into the drive and quickened my 
 pace to a charging gallop. But Pm only in time to 
 restore order. Whenever I cannot anticipate my fair 
 neighbour of Battery-Boombe, I make a point of 
 following her as promptly as possible. And you can 
 hardly imagine, my dear ladies, how much I am able 
 to effect, in binding up mental hurts, correcting 
 intelligence, straightening distorted facts, and general 
 repairs of a like description. I am a complete 
 ambulance-corps, attached to the division Shrap- 
 nell. Who^shitnow? Come, tell the doctor. Well, 
 my dear Miss Louisa, ymi look the gravest. I begin 
 with you. The last piece of county gossip con-
 
 A Mere Scratch, 93 
 
 veyed to you related to — to — shall I go on ? A 
 wedding ? '^ 
 
 Mrs. Mulcaster trembled, and glanced at Mildred ; 
 but her daughter's calm, fixed look, and the colonel's 
 beaming smile, reassured her. She let him go on. 
 
 " You,'' he said, addressing them all, " like myself, 
 have heard a ridiculous rumour connecting the name 
 of our vounof neio-hbour, Geors^e Goslino^, with one so 
 far beneath him in station, that the jest — and a very 
 bad and malicious one it was — ought to have been at 
 once apparent." 
 
 Mildred's look thanked the speaker so eloquently, 
 that a sudden thrill shot through his heart, for he 
 knew, that unlucky colonel, that there was worCj 
 considerably more to say. With that radiant glance, 
 too joyful for disguise, entered into the colonel's 
 startled soul the conviction that Mildred loved, and 
 that he himself, purposing only to clear their general 
 favourite, George, from an unworthy rumour, must, if 
 he told his story out, scatter worse confusion than 
 Miss Shrapnell herself ! 
 
 He knew, in common with many others, that a 
 union between the houses of Gosling and Mulcaster 
 had been ranked among the very probable events of 
 the county; but of the actual engagement, and its 
 rupture, he knew nothing. Mrs. Mulcaster had, at 
 his last visit, mentioned in a rather significant man- 
 ner that intercourse with Gosling Graize had 
 diminished. When, therefore, the report reached 
 hira that George was about to be married, and to one 
 of his own domestic servants, his astonishment had 
 been entirely limited to his young friend's selection.
 
 94 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 '* There lias been a row — a lovers' quarrel — a rasli 
 move of the rebel George," tbougbt the perplexed 
 officer, '' and of that, bar the cook, they know 
 nothing. Halt, there. Threes about V 
 
 But this prudent manoeuvre was not to be executed. 
 The " three'' before him would not permit it. Con- 
 vinced of the falsehood of Miss ShrapnelPs tidings, 
 Mrs. Mulcaster saw no objection to continuing the 
 subject. 
 
 " It is curious how circumstantial falsehood has 
 become of late. My only wonder is that we were not 
 favoured with all the interesting particulars of Geo — 
 Sir George Gosling's courtship." 
 
 ^^Ha, ha !" said the colonel. " Gossip, you know, 
 grows like the Highland cairn. Everybody adds a 
 stone !" 
 
 " Scandalous. Stories like these, devoid of the 
 merest atom of foundation, should be visited with 
 some severe social penalt3^" 
 
 "Ahem !" said the colonel — " yes." 
 
 " You don't agree with me ?" 
 
 "Perfectly. Without foundation — yes. Such,'' 
 added the colonel, briskly, " could not be too severely 
 reprehended." 
 
 " Such as this'' said Mrs. Mulcaster, fixing him to 
 the point. 
 
 The poor colonel winced. His sense of justice even 
 to a Shrapnell was keen. 
 
 ^^ I_I— the fact is. Will Crooke " (Will Crooke, 
 
 once his orderly, now his groom, was the colonel's 
 reserve in difficulty ; but here Vv^illiam could not act. 
 The appeal was only a sign of distress.)
 
 A Mere Scralcli. 95 
 
 '^ I beg your pardon. Will ? ^^ 
 
 " Yes. The — the fact is, I am a very poor retailer 
 of gossip, and am sm'e to make some blunder or other. 
 But Will — ^Will is the man. That fellow chronicles 
 every incident in the neighbourhood ; and sometimes, 
 as we are jogging along the road, gallops up, saluting, 
 and reports some nonsense he has picked up, as if 
 it were tidings from an outpost. Well, I must say 
 good morning.''^ 
 
 " You will do no such thing,^' said Mrs. Mulcaster, 
 decisively, '^ until you have explained why you 
 hesitated when I said there was no pretext for this 
 wild story of Miss ShrapnelFs.''^ 
 
 " Did I hesitate ? '' said the Colonel. " No— did 
 I ? ^' He glanced uneasily at Mildred. Should he 
 tell all he knew, all that the too-reliable Will had 
 been reporting to him, up to the moment that he, the 
 colonel, dismounted at the door ? 
 
 Relief came from an unexpected quarter. 
 
 " Sir George Gosling Has riot decided to marry his 
 cook,^^ said Mildred, with a perfectly steady voice and 
 look. " Will you tell us. Colonel Lugard, if you are 
 aware of his engagement to any other lady ? ^^ 
 
 Had the colonel detected the slightest change of 
 colour, the minutest tremour of tone, he would have 
 fenced with the question, direct as it was. Taking 
 courage, however, from the speaker^s, he boldly 
 admitted — of course, on the authority of Will Crooke 
 — that the young baronet was understood to have 
 made his selection, and that it had fallen upon a young 
 lady every way qualified to grace her future station. 
 
 '^That is — very well,'' said Mildred, in the same
 
 96 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 steady voice ; " and — who " but there the sound 
 
 suddenly became a whisper, and ceased. 
 
 " Who is it ? " asked Louisa. 
 
 " You remember/^ replied the colonel, " my men- 
 tioning a young person of singular appearance (some 
 might call her handsome), whom I met in the park, 
 and who picked up my '' 
 
 A cr}^ from Mrs. Mulcaster ! Louisa glancing like 
 a white meteor across the room ! She was barely in 
 time. Mildred fell into her sister^s arms, her beau- 
 tiful hair flooding the ground. Her desperate attempt 
 to enact the heroine had failed. Nature triumphed. 
 
 As for the poor colonel, alarmed yet helpless, as 
 men usually are under such circumstances, and con- 
 science-stricken besides, after making a feint towards 
 the bell, then towards the window, murmurs of " Will 
 Crooke '' issuing from his lips, he judged it best to 
 sound a retreat. While lingering in the hall, a mes- 
 sage from Mrs. Mulcaster announced that her 
 daughter, restored to consciousness, had been con- 
 veyed to her room, and that she herself begged him 
 to return. 
 
 " Can you,^^ she said, ^' spare me five minutes 
 longer ? '' 
 
 " Can I, my dear lady V^ exclaimed the gossip- 
 loving veteran ; " I will." The colonel then related 
 all he knew from AYill Crooke about the meeting in 
 the rose garden, the encounter with the dog, and the 
 sudden enf^aofement between Sir Georo^e and Esther 
 Vann. 
 
 " He had knowm her long ? " 
 
 " Since five o'clock in the morning,^' said the
 
 A Mere Scratch. 97 
 
 colonel ; " at wliich hour tliey met^ quite accidentally, 
 in the rose-pleasance. The acquaintance, however, 
 ripened very rapidly. George^s black dog, Swartz, 
 selected that opportune moment for doing what, in my 
 humble opinion, his master must have done before 
 him. He went mad. The insane parties met, and 
 but for the really heroic conduct of this girl, Esther 
 A^ann, very grave results might have ensued. If she 
 did not actually save his Hfe, she delivered him, at the 
 risk of her own, from imminent peril. They w^cre 
 engaged before she quitted the house that day. The 
 marriage is to take place almost immediately." 
 
 '' A most delicate proceeding ! " exclaimed the lady. 
 
 "It was not so purposed," resumed the colonel,, 
 revelhng in the full tide of gossip, " but there was a 
 row. Before George had made up his mind to inform 
 his sister. Lady Haughfield, of his new engagement, 
 some one (I know not who) did it for him. Down 
 came my lady as fast as four horses could bring her, 
 to remonstrate. No avail. George was kind, but 
 immutable. This girl, who, he admitted, was his 
 cook^s niece and a nursery governess, but decently 
 educated, should be his wife. Clara, in despair, 
 telegraphed for Haughfield. (A bad move.) Down 
 comes my lord, secretly furious, and at the first inter- 
 view lost all that slight amount of temper he usually 
 possesses. Gosling had borne with his sister, but he 
 wouldn^t stand that ; and, to end the story, his visitors 
 departed, carrying with them the assurance that 
 George would resent their ill-advised and worse- 
 managed interposition, by carrying out his intention 
 at the very earliest moment to which the young lady 
 
 H
 
 98 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 could be prevailed on to agree. A^Tiat arguments lie 
 used," concluded the colonel, "I cannot pretend to 
 say ; but of this I am certain — Will Crooke hnoics it 
 to be a fact — that the girl has consented to shorten, 
 very materially, the interval for which, with a propriety 
 for which we can^t deny her credit, she had at first 
 stipulated. The cook, her aunt, has removed to a 
 small farmhouse a few miles from hence, where her 
 niece will, no doubt, join her, and the ceremony will 
 take place at the little village — Rosedale — close at 
 hand." 
 
 '^A thousand thanks, my good friend," said Mrs. 
 Mulcaster, rising nervously, and looking considerably 
 alarmed at the task before her. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 The report of that active intelligencer. Will Crooke, 
 to his colonel, of the proceedings at Gosling Graize, was 
 strictly true, only falling short of reahty in regard to 
 the stormy character of the conference that followed 
 Lord Haughfield^s appearance on the scene. The 
 temper of this noble person, never of the sweetest, was 
 not improved by his compulsory jaunt of two hundred 
 miles, nor by the unpromising aspect of afiairs on his 
 arrival. Thus, instead of temporising with his young 
 connexion (George was by many years his junior), he 
 gave such free expression to his own personal dis- 
 pleasure at the proposed match, that George, in his 
 turn losing self-government, cut the matter short by
 
 A Mere Scratch. 99 
 
 declaring his intention irrevocable^ and refused to hear 
 another word on the subject. Swelling with rage and 
 disappointment, Lord Haughfield would have ordered 
 his horses, and departed on the spot — vowing that 
 nothing on earth should induce him to taste food 
 prepared by the hands of the future Lady Gosling's 
 aunt — but for George^s promise that this difficulty 
 should be obviated by borrowing a neighbour's French 
 cook. It needed all Clara's tact and eloquence to 
 bring about an armistice which should save appear- 
 ances, and subsist at all events till the following 
 morning, when the visitors might depart in peace. 
 
 George was now alone, but far from happy. He 
 was foud of his sister, and had secretly relied upon 
 her for the re-establishment of good relations with his 
 proud and sensitive brother-in-law, should these be 
 disturbed by his projected marriage. But Clara had 
 imbibed something of her lord's family pride, and this, 
 added to the abrupt manner in which the news (which, 
 she justly felt, should have come from her brother 
 himself) had been conveyed to her, arrayed her feelings 
 against him. He must fight it out alone. 
 
 And horribly alone he felt. The prospect of long 
 months of this mental solitude, uncheered by the 
 presence of her upon whom every thought of his heart 
 was now unalterably fixed, almost made him frantic. 
 A fever of impatience possessed him, to which neither 
 solitude nor society seemed to offer any effectual relief. 
 One thing was very certain — he could not wear out this 
 weary interval at GosUng Graize. What if he should 
 travel a little ? George went to bed, thinking of 
 Italv. 
 
 H 2
 
 100 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 He was awakened by a cry of alarm and horror 
 uttered by his own lips. He bad bad a frigbtful 
 dream. Estber, ber fair face torn and disfigured by 
 tbe fangs of tbe rabid Swartz, appeared to bim engaged 
 in desperate conflict witb tbe furious animal^ and 
 sbrieking for aid. Tbe vision was so real tbat be bad 
 risen and set foot on tbe floor before be was convinced 
 of tbe illusion. In certain conditions of mind^ tbings 
 tbat migbt else pass for no more tban tbeir actual 
 value, exercise a morbid tyranny over tbe reason and 
 judgment. Tbis dream, in George^s mind, connected 
 itself witb evil of some kind impending over Estber. 
 In vain be strove witb tbe sinister presentiment. In 
 vain be busied bimself witb travelling preparations. 
 A conviction fastened upon bis mind tbat to quit ber 
 now would be to bid ber an eternal farewell. At 
 lengtb be took tbe resolution to write to ber one 
 passionate appeal, in wbicb, after describing tbe doubt 
 and trouble tbat possessed bim, be implored ber to 
 abandon, for bis sake, tbe interval of delay for wbicb 
 sbe bad stipulated, and accompany bim to Italy as bis 
 bride. 
 
 Wbile waiting ber reply, George occupied bimself 
 witb tbe arrangements rendered necessary by wbat 
 would, in any case, be a prolonged absence from borne. 
 He took measures for selling bis borses and reducing 
 bis establisbment. Mrs. Mapes, tbe bousekeeper, 
 rendered totally ineS'ective by continued rbeumatism, 
 bad resigned; and tbis circumstance bad made it 
 imperative tbat good Mrs. Turnover sbould, for tbe 
 present, retain office, altbougb George, wbo, in tbe 
 altered aspect of affairs, disliked to see ber in a menial
 
 A Mere Scratch. 101 
 
 capacity, would have preferred to have her remove at 
 once to a pleasant and commodious cottage he had 
 purchased at the pretty village of Rosedale, whither 
 he hoped Esther would come to join her. 
 
 There was nothing now to prevent this arrangement 
 being carried out, and George, after waiting several 
 days in vain for an answer to his letter, determined to 
 quit Gosling Graize on the morrow. 
 
 He shook hands cordially with Mrs. Turnover. 
 
 '^ I trust you will find everything to your satisfaction, 
 my good old friend,^^ said George, ^'^and that — that 
 your niece may be persuaded to abandon her teaching, 
 and come to learn — learn housekeeping, I mean, under 
 your able tuition, at Rosedale. Thus I shall perhaps 
 see you both before I begin my travels.''^ 
 
 Mrs. Turnover was in tears; she didn^t know why; 
 she always did cry when people went abroad. It 
 seemed to imply a range and time of immense mag- 
 nitude and duration. 
 
 " Wishing you the best of ^elth and sperrets, sir,^^ 
 sobbed the good lady ; " and, if I may be so bold, don't 
 go nowhere, ^specially up hill, without a sangwidge in 
 each pocket. Did I ever tell you, when you was a boy, 
 them words of Mr. Turnover ? They was his last.^^ 
 
 " His very last ? '^ asked George, suspiciously. 
 
 " "Well, sir, he'd been silent so long, that we thought 
 he was actially gone ; and the nuss, which had been 
 promised another job, wanted to put him in the coffin 
 heM ordered for hisself some days before, when, while 
 we was arguin', T. opens one eye and crooks his little 
 finger, which meant ^ Lift me up and give me a table- 
 spoonful of gruel, not too hot, with half a dozen drops
 
 102 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 of brandj in it/ That was giv^ and lie says^ ' Don^fc 
 cheat your stommich. Heat horfen and ^artily. If 
 IM heat a sangwidge every twenty minutes since I 
 was five year old^ I^d ^ave been an ^elthy indiwidual 
 now. Adoo ! ^ ^^ 
 
 Mrs. Turnover bobbed and departed. 
 Little slept the young ru aster of the house that night. 
 As he flung open the casement and welcomed the 
 dawn, a fancy seized him to visit the rose-pleasance 
 where he had first heard that haunting voice that now 
 seemed for ever speaking to his soul. Autumn was 
 now well advanced. Not a rose was to be seen, but 
 George could have picked out the very tree by which 
 Esther had stood — almost the very thorn by which 
 she had been wounded — and, with the idle fancy 
 peculiar to lovers and lunatics, snipped off the spray, 
 thorns and all, and put it in his button-hole ! Sitting 
 in the bower from which he had issued to surprise the 
 trespasser, he strove to conjure up the fairy face, and 
 having done so, fell into a reverie gloomier than ever. 
 He knew that, in writing to her as he had done, he 
 had broken the compact they had made, and her 
 silence (for this was the fifth day) led him seriously to 
 fear that she would act upon her threat and consider 
 their intercourse as at an end. 
 
 The sound of the little gate opening disturbed his 
 meditations. Mr. Fanshaw with the postbag. 
 
 The butler announced that breakfast was on the 
 table. 
 
 " In half an hour,^^ said George. '^ I will read my 
 letters here.^^ 
 
 His eye had already detected a strange handwriting.
 
 A Mere Scratch. 103 
 
 It was a firm, fair hand, an Esther-like hand. He 
 hesitated for an instant, then tore it open, and with a 
 glance devoured the contents, which were of the 
 briefest. 
 
 The blood flew to his forehead. 
 
 '* She is mine I '^ he exclaimed, clasping the letter 
 aloft in his exulting hands. 
 
 To explain this satisfactory result, we must return 
 for a moment to Esther herself. 
 
 When that inflexible young lady went back to her 
 no sinecure at Mrs. Grrimble^s, she did so with the full 
 intention of peremptorily dismissing from her mind all 
 such recent recollections as were at all likely to 
 interfere with the performance of her accustomed 
 duties. Finding, however, that these comprised every 
 word and incident that in the remotest degree connected 
 themselves with her late visit to Gosling Graize, Esther 
 next wisely determined to regard the whole merely as 
 a beatific vision, which might, or might not, have 
 reference to some future event, but by no means 
 justified an abiding contemplation. And such an 
 anomaly is woman^s mind, that the calm and unimagi- 
 native Esther almost brought herself to believe that 
 she had been the victim of an illusion ! A glance at her 
 wounded hand, however, always restored the reality. 
 
 " What do you look at your hand so often for. Miss 
 
 Vann ? " said little M aud Grimble. " Is it Miss 
 
 Vann, how bad ! " 
 
 " Nonsense, dear, it's nothing. A mere scratch,^' 
 replied Esther, mechanically putting it to her lips. 
 
 But Maud's exclamation had attracted the rest, who 
 came clustering round, to examine the hurt.
 
 104 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 "What a long- scratch! Does it pain you still, 
 dear ? ^' asked her eldest pupil. 
 
 " Not at all. I like it. I love it ! '' replied Esther, 
 impatiently. 
 
 '^ Like a scratch ? '' chorused the wondering circle. 
 
 "What did I say? You are making me talk 
 nonsense, I think,^^ said the young governess. " Go 
 on with your lesson, Maud. The products of Stafford- 
 shire are '^ 
 
 But little people are observant; and that brief 
 dialogue, and the wound that was " liked,^^ were not 
 forgotten. 
 
 This story must be frankly told. Poor Esther, 
 despite her gallant struggle to regain her usual course 
 of thought and duty, was destined to fail. One 
 haunting doubt, that nothing could exorcise, presented 
 itself more and more, infesting even her innocent 
 dreams, so that she would awake under the conscious- 
 ness, as it were, of some accusation to which she could 
 oppose no sufficient answer. Suppose, something 
 whispered, George^s lost love has repented of her 
 precipitancy, and learned with bitter remorse that her 
 heart was all his own ? Suppose that this fact should 
 be made known to (Jeorge? Would it revive the 
 nentimenis so long cherished, so lately overcome ? 
 Could she put faith in her lover^s present feelings ? 
 Nay, ought he to rely upon his own ? Even if it were 
 so, had she, Esther, acted honourably in assisting to 
 neutralise all hope of a reconciliation between persons 
 separated only by the caprice of one ? 
 
 This state of doubt and perplexity began to influence 
 her bodily health. Headaches (to which she had
 
 A Mere Scratch. 105 
 
 hitherto been a stranger), and a strange nervousness, 
 with accelerated pulse and other feverish s^^mptoms, 
 at times assailed her. In spite of every effort at self- 
 control, she found herself becoming captious, irritable, 
 impatient. This cost the poor girl many penitent 
 tears, and weeping renewed her headache, until she 
 gave herself up to the doubtful comfort of gazing upon 
 the " mere scratch,^-' which had long since healed, by 
 way of balm to the still open and far more dangerous 
 wound within. 
 
 Such a condition of things could not be favourable 
 to the progress of Grimble education. Mr. and Mrs. 
 Grimble, though good-hearted people in their way, had 
 been trained in the comfortless school of genteel 
 poverty. By pinching alone could they maintain 
 what they conceived to be their social status. Hence 
 they had not hesitated to avail themselves of the 
 services of Esther, both as nurse and governess for 
 their six children, without other remuneration than 
 her board and lodging. They knew that, save for her 
 worthy aunt, Mrs. Turnover, Esther was ^vithout 
 friends capable of assisting her, and kept the secret 
 of their jewel governess so tightly, that, I am sorry to 
 say, when, once, an opportunity presented itself of 
 placing Esther in a far superior position, Mrs. Grimble 
 so successfully under-estimated her governesses 
 acquirements as to retain her in the family. Of this 
 circumstance Miss Yann had been somehow made 
 aware. But warmly attached to her pupils, and con- 
 tent with the personal kindness she received from her 
 employers, she had willingly remained in the position 
 in which we found her.
 
 106 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 "Do you know, Grimble, I am not quite pleased 
 with Esther of late V said Mrs. G. to her lord. 
 " Ever since her last visit to her aunt Turnover, when 
 she stopped away all night without my leave, she has 
 been like a changed girl. I am afraid she neglects 
 the children.-'^ 
 
 "Ha! ii-Jiij do you think so, my dear?'Mnqmred 
 Mr. Grimble, with whom Esther was rather a 
 favourite. 
 
 " IVe had it on my mind some time/^ said the lady, 
 " and to-day I examined them all. They have not 
 advanced one bit. Margaret ^s still in simple long 
 division ; Maud insisted that Dublin was the capital of 
 North Wales ; and Tommy had a theory that eggs 
 were the invention of Christopher Columbus, when 
 straitened for provisions while looking for the pole. I 
 shall speak very seriously to Esther on the subject.^^ 
 
 " Of the egg, my dear? And ' seriously^ ? It is 
 more than I would promise to do,^^ said her husband, 
 laughing. "But,^^ he added, "do you think that 
 Esther is quite well ? She has looked queerly at 
 times. Besides, she is a good girl, and remember, 
 mamma, we don^t pay her a princely salary V 
 
 '' We give her all she wants, and we treat her as an 
 equal; which is more than they would do at any of 
 your great houses,^^ returned the lady ; " and she 
 ought to do her duty by us according.^'' 
 • '" — Jjy, my love,^^ put in Mr. Grimble, who, since 
 Esther had been in the house, had grown particular in 
 his grammar. " Well, so she ought. Give her a 
 jog, if you like, just to keep hei' up to the collar, you 
 know — that^s all."'^
 
 A Mere Scratch. 107 
 
 On the day that witnessed this conversation^ head- 
 ache, and that strange sense of uneasiness before 
 alluded to, had compelled poor Esther to seek her own 
 chamber, where she sat with flushed and burning 
 cheeks, striving vainly to compose her troubled 
 thoughts. She no longer attempted to disguise from 
 herself the strength of the feeling that possessed her. 
 She loved with a wild ineradicable love, the depths of 
 which she dared not fathom. But, Jie ? 
 
 '^ I — I cannot bear this,^^ she gasped, with a choking 
 sob that seemed to give her pain. " Is it — is it real ? 
 Dare I believe him ? Oh, if he cannot love me, let 
 me die V 
 
 " Miss Yann ! Esther ! A letter for you, dear,^^ 
 said a small voice outside the bolted door, and the 
 missive was skilfully passed under it, the bearer 
 skipping away. 
 
 Esther snatched it from the ground. It was not a 
 short letter; but the contents appeared to be com- 
 prehended at a glance. 
 
 It was her lover^s letter, coming like an answer 
 to her prayer. Enough to say that George had set 
 forth, with all the illogical but convincing arguments 
 true passion will suggest, the reasons that existed 
 for a speedy termination of the present condition of 
 suspense. He implored her to place herself under 
 the affectionate care of her only relative, in the 
 home he had provided for the latter, to permit him 
 to visit her there, and to sanction the preparations for 
 their union at the earliest moment to which his 
 prayers might induce her to accede. 
 
 Thereupon began a fresh tumult in her soul.
 
 108 A Mere Scratch, 
 
 Despite its passion, there was apparent in George's 
 letter an lionest truth, before which all doubts 
 dwindled, and dispersed to air. The temptation to 
 listen to his pleading was strong, while her own heart 
 ceased not to whisper : " Yield, yield ; what would 
 you more ?'' On the other hand, her sense of delicacy 
 recoiled from the suddenness of the step. Their 
 slight and recent acquaintance, still more the fact of 
 his having so lately stood in the same relation towards 
 another, demanded delay. She would pause upon it, 
 and might Heaven direct her judgment right! 
 
 Her meditations were interrupted by a tap at the 
 door, just sufficiently imperious to denote the mistress 
 of the house. Placing the letter in her bosom, Esther 
 hastened to admit her. 
 
 " Oh ! we feared that you were unwell,'' began Mrs. 
 Grimble; "but you are really looking better than 
 usual. So I may say, without fear of increasing your 
 indisposition, what I came about. Your care of the 
 children. Miss Vann, has considerably relaxed of 
 late." 
 
 " Ma'am," faltered Esther, conscious that the charge 
 was not entirely without foundation. 
 
 '^ This must be amended, child," said Mrs. Grimble, 
 coldly pursuing her advantage. 
 
 " I — I have not been quite myself lately," replied 
 Esther, pressing her hot hand upon her brow. 
 
 ^' I have just made the remark that you look even 
 better than usual," said Mrs. Grimble, statelily. " I 
 will thank you not to contradict me. Miss Vann." 
 (Esther curtseyed.) " I do not wish for any words 
 with you. I have merely to remind you that, in return
 
 A Mere Scratch, 109 
 
 for the peculiar advantages you enjoy^ in being at all 
 times treated as a member of my family, I have a 
 right to expect that your undivided interest and 
 attention be centred in my children. Do you un- 
 derstand V 
 
 " Perfectly, ma^am/^ said Esther ; " and I have to 
 thank you for this most opportune visit, which has 
 enabled me to decide upon a point of distressing 
 difficulty. I am going to leave you/' 
 
 "How! What f leave me, child?" exclaimed the 
 alarmed lady. " Whither could you go V 
 
 ''Nut to Mrs. Margesson^s," said Esther, quietly. 
 (The name brought a slight colour into Mrs. Grimble^s 
 cheek.) "I am going to my aunt, who is now 
 residing at Eosedale." 
 
 *' And — and the chil Nonsense, Esther. I was 
 
 only joking." 
 
 "lam not/' said Esther, steadily. "I should not 
 hold sucli jesting fair. I love your children, and am 
 indebted to you, and even more to Mr. Grimble, for 
 an amount of kindness not always shown even to those 
 who can give something in return. But my mind is 
 made up. I will remain, however, for a few days, if 
 you think fit, that my pupils may not be deprived of 
 such inefficient teaching as I can still afford; for 
 indeed," added Esther, rather appealingly, " I am not 
 so well as you persist in believing." 
 
 Poor Mrs. Grimble was fain to accept this con- 
 cession, and the interview terminated, leaving on lier 
 hands the unpleasant duty of informing her husband 
 that not only had Miss Vann refused to be kept " up 
 to the collar," but had slipped out of it altogether.
 
 no A Mere Scratch. 
 
 Rosedale, wHther tlie last scene of this strange 
 eventful history conducts us, was a pretty sequestered 
 village, in and around which more than one of Greorge^s 
 ancestors had held property. Hence, though it was 
 somewhat nearer to The Haie than George would have 
 preferred — about four miles — he had selected it as an 
 ehgible residence for his faithful old servant, and 
 provided her with the prettiest cottage-dwelling in the 
 district. Everything requisite for comfort — even 
 many elegances—had been liberally supplied; for 
 George trusted it might prove the temporary nest of a 
 brighter bird than she whom he sent forward to 
 prepare the way. 
 
 He was not disappointed. Esther came ; and the 
 third meeting in the world of these singular lovers 
 took place in the little pleasance George had caused 
 to be planted, regardless of expense, in imitation of 
 that at the Graize. Happy beyond expression, they 
 lingered in the autumn-tinted wood-walhs, or sat 
 beside the chattering brook, while Mrs. Turnover, in 
 her glory, superintended the preparation of those 
 marriage garments, &c., to which her darling could be 
 prevailed upon to give but slight attention. 
 
 Esther^s new-found peace seemed to impart a new 
 beauty to her charming features ; but there were still 
 times when the feverish flush would reappear, and a 
 quickened pulse and glistening eye indicated some 
 morbid action lurking in her sensitive system. 
 
 One day, when George, who had been absent a 
 little longer than usual, meeting her in her walk, 
 leaped from his horse, and clasped her hand, she gave 
 a little involuntary cry of pain. George eagerly
 
 A Mere Scratch. Ill 
 
 inquired the cause^ and, in doing so, noticed the 
 pecuh'ar feverish and excited expression we have 
 mentioned. 
 
 He learned that she had yesterday struck her hand 
 accidentally against a bookcase, exactly upon the scar 
 left by the rose-thorn at Gosling Graize. It had 
 given her more pain than was easy to be accounted for, 
 seeing that that famous wound had long since healed ; 
 and, besides an extreme tenderness on the spot itself, 
 she had since suffered from severe shooting pains, 
 following the direction of the surrounding nerves, up 
 to the very shoulder and neck. 
 
 George looked at the scar. It was no longer white, 
 but a dark livid red, and that not only at the seat 
 of the recent bruise, but throughout its entire 
 length. 
 
 '^ My darling, this must be looked to,^^ he said. 
 '^The blow has touched a nerve. This terrible wound ! 
 When will it cease to reproach me, I wonder ?" He 
 kissed it softly as he spoke. 
 
 '^ Do you know that even the touch of your lips 
 gives me a twinge of pain V said Esther, laughing. 
 "But, what matters, dear? After all, a mere 
 scratch \" 
 
 George lingered long that day, as if he could not 
 tear himself from the side of his betrothed, whose 
 spirits were higher than common. Wit and fancy 
 sparkled through her merry talk, and when George 
 reluctantly departed, the night through which he rode 
 seemed dark enough. 
 
 When he was fairly gone, Esther turned deadly 
 pale, and burst into tears^ trembling, and, at intervals.
 
 112 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 sighing heavily. A reaction had taken place. Mrs. 
 Turnover^ frightened_, insisted upon her going instantly 
 to bed ; and, to make sure, saw her thither. 
 
 But Esther could not sleep. Something oppressed 
 her breathing. The shooting pains in her hand and 
 arm became more frequent and acute. Soon, the very 
 silence seemed to grow intolerable, and she rose and 
 opened the window. The moon was near the full, and 
 as Esther gazed upon the shining mystery sailing 
 smoothly and dumbly through the fields of air, a 
 sudden and violent shiver darted through her frame. 
 Afraid of a chill, she closed the casement, and once 
 more sought her pillow. This time she slept, indeed, 
 but it was only to be the victim of frightful dreams. 
 
 Wretched and unrefreshed, she rose almost with the 
 dawn, and was shocked at her own strange looks. 
 With a strong mental effort she threw off the morbid 
 uneasiness that tormented her, and, calmed with 
 prayer, walked out into the pleasance. The morning 
 was dull and overcast, but this, perhaps, from har- 
 monising with her present condition of mind, seemed 
 more soothing than sunshine. At all events, she felt 
 herself growing better, when a little girl, who was 
 proud to act as her special attendant, tripped up the 
 garden, and placed a letter in her hand. 
 
 The writing was strange. She opened it, read — the 
 blood, rushing to her head, almost bhnded her — but 
 she had caught the meaning : 
 
 ^^ Beware of the step you are about to take. A 
 caprice, bitterly repented, estranged for a moment two 
 hearts long and loyally united. But for yoit, all had 
 been well. Forego the hollow conquest you think you
 
 A Mere Scratch. 113 
 
 have made. It will be a noble sacrifice and will be as 
 nobly rewarded/' 
 
 There was no signature. But a legion of witnesses 
 could not have brought home the truth more in- 
 disputably to Esther's bursting heart. 
 
 " This, thisj then, was the coming horror !'' she 
 cried aloud. " I felt it ; I was warned. Yet still, so 
 sudden ! My love so perfect, my hope so near ! I — 
 I will go in, and seek '' 
 
 With faint uncertain steps she made her way to her 
 chamber. Hardly entered, she was seized with a 
 convulsive nervous spasm, so violent, that, unable to 
 reach her bed, she sank upon the floor. In doing so, 
 she struck her hand slightly on the ground. Instantly 
 an acute pang, commencing from the scar, shot up- 
 wards, till it ended \\nth a piercing shock, as if a nail 
 had been driven into her very brow. The faintness 
 increased. 
 
 " Wnfer," she thought. " If I could only reach 
 the water V 
 
 She did manage it ; but, although longing to cool 
 her burning throat, dashed the half-filled goblet from 
 her. A globe, rising with a twisting, vermicular sen- 
 sation in her throat, threatened suffocation. She 
 tried to cry out, but could not. She could only 
 mutter : 
 
 " Must I die ? What— what is this V 
 
 As if in awful answer, a pang, more severe than 
 any that had preceded it, shot from her wounded 
 hand, succeeded by a convulsive tremor pervading her 
 whole frame. She looked at the scar. It was red 
 and angry, seemed ready to open, and even now 
 
 I
 
 114 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 giving out an ichorous fluid. The trutli flashed upon 
 her. 
 
 " I am lost/^ gasped the unhappy girl_, sinking on 
 her knees. " The mad dog ! '^ 
 
 After a second, or two, she rose and made two or 
 three wild steps towards the door, as if to seek for 
 aid ; but, if so, the consciousness that no human help 
 could now avail stopped her, and her thoughts flew to 
 George. Even in that hour of anguish one comforting 
 thought visited her. It was for Itim. she had incurred 
 this end. 
 
 But who — oh, who should tell him ? What was to 
 be done ? Might Heaven send the needful strength, 
 and keep her senses clear ! She scarcely doubted of 
 the latter, for, acquainted with the ordinary phenomena 
 of this fearful disease, she recollected that the senses 
 and faculties are rather stimulated by it than impaired. 
 
 Although medicine could not cure, it might alleviate, 
 might retard. With a calmness that astonished her- 
 self, Esther laid out her scheme; for time was brief 
 indeed, and nothing must go wrong. She sent word 
 to her aunt that she should return to breakfast in half 
 an hour ; then, putting on her thickest veil, hurried to 
 the house of the village doctor. 
 
 Mr. Woford was a young practitioner, with a wife 
 who looked like a child, and several children, who 
 looked as if they had no business there at all. He 
 was alone in his surgery — he generally luas — and 
 thither Esther proceeded. 
 
 Throwing back her veil, and displaying her flushed 
 cheeks and glistening eyes, the visitor held out her 
 hand.
 
 y 
 
 A Mere Scratch. 115 
 
 " Can you tell me, sir, wliat is the matter with me ?" 
 she asked him steadily. 
 
 Mr. AVoford smiled at the abruptness, but his look 
 changed as he felt her galloping pulse, and remarked 
 the tokens, manifest even to him, of unwonted dis- 
 arrangement. There was fever, he thought, but his 
 opinion inclined to hysteria, and the questions he put 
 to her were inspired thereby. He recommended repose 
 of mind and body, and promised to send immediately 
 what he considered needful. 
 
 He quickly prepared the things of which he spoke, 
 added some careful directions, and would have 
 attended her home ; but this she declined. 
 
 Mrs. Turnover was watching for her darling, im- 
 patient to show her something that awaited her 
 approval. Esther mechanically followed the good 
 lady, but the sight of the object — her own bridal dress 
 laid out in state — was, in her overwrought condition, 
 too much for her. Uttering a loud despairing shriek, 
 she sank upon the ground, surrendering herself for the 
 moment to all the grief and horror of her position. 
 Disguise was no longer possible. It would soon 
 become necessary, for the safety of others, to warn 
 those around of the probable increasing violence of 
 the paroxysms. 
 
 The grief and terror of poor Mrs. Turnover would 
 have turned her brain, but that, fortunately, the 
 honest soul could not be brought wholly to believe 
 that there was literally no hope — that a creature so 
 fair and young, so innocent, so cherished, must die 
 without remedy, and such a death ! But the intrepid 
 girl herself was the first to regain composure. She had 
 
 I 2
 
 116 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 to make tlie most of the brief interval of tranquillity 
 the sedatives had obtained_, and at once began her 
 melancholy task. 
 
 She wrote to George^ in terms such as the purest 
 affection alone could dictate^ informing him frankly of 
 her condition,, and entreating him to come to her that 
 night. This letter was not to be despatched to him 
 till past noon; she had something else to do before 
 they met. 
 
 Accordingly he only received it on his return from 
 an afternoon ride^ with what feelings I shall not 
 attempt to describe. In his despairing anguish, one 
 idea, almost like an inspiration, flashed across his 
 mind. He remembered having heard, or read, that an 
 eminent London practitioner. Sir Albert Ray, had, in 
 his experience, met with two cases of admitted rabies, 
 which had, notwithstanding, resulted in a cure. 
 Catching desperately at this straw, he despatched an 
 instant express to London, imploring Sir xllbert, who 
 was an old friend and schoolmate of his father, to 
 hasten to Rosedale with all possible speed. His 
 fingers could hardly form the terrible word that was 
 to warn Sir Albert how necessary was this speed. 
 ^' More than one life depends on your coming/^ wrote 
 George, yielding to the illusory hope. " She is my 
 betrothed wife; I cannot bear her loss." Then, 
 mounting his swiftest horse, he flew to Rosedale. 
 
 Esther^ s next act, after writing to her lover, was to 
 order a carriage. Nobody thought of remonstrance. 
 There was something in her manner that forbade 
 interference with anj'thing she might do. Alone and 
 veiled, she got into the carriage, and was driven to
 
 A Mere Scratch. 117 
 
 Tlie Haie. There slie asked if slie could be permitted 
 to see Miss Mulcaster alone, or if not alone, with her 
 mother. 
 
 Miss Mulcaster was alone, in the garden, but she 
 had been somewhat indisposed. The servant hesi- 
 tated. 
 
 " I, too, am an invahd,'' said Esther, smiling 
 sweetly, and, lifting her veil, disclosed a countenance 
 now white as a shroud. The servant turned and led 
 the way. 
 
 Mildred was walking pensively on one of the side 
 terraces. She turned, with some surprise, to meet 
 the unannounced visitor. 
 
 " Forgive, I beg of you, this intrusion '^ began 
 
 Esther. 
 
 The face and voice sufficed : Mildred waved the 
 servant away. They were alone. 
 
 " My object is threefold,'' said Esther : " to see you 
 — to entreat your pardon — and to repair, if I may, the 
 injury I have done to you, and to another. My name 
 is Esther Vann.'' 
 
 '' Esther Vann ! " exclaimed Mildred, the colour 
 rushing into her cheeks, " and you come " 
 
 " SulBfer me to speak,'' said Esther, '' and do not 
 wonder nor be alarmed. I am dying. I have but a 
 few short hours to live, and those, perhaps, marked 
 with such agony as to make death, imminent as it is, 
 too tardy. Again, I pray you not to fear, but in 
 charity to hear my words. I am dying from the 
 poison of a mad dog's foam, infused into an acci- 
 dental scratch on my hand. You turn pale, and look 
 pitifully on me. That is kind and hopeful, for my
 
 118 A Mere Scratch, 
 
 time '^ she pressed her hands forcibly on her 
 
 bosom — " 1 must be quick. Miss Mulcaster, 
 you were to have been G-eorge^s wife. He loved 
 you — will do so still. As for me^ it was a short 
 and transient dream. If he has wronged you, oh, 
 forgive him ; has not he something to forgive ? 
 Take back from my dying hand the treasure I had no 
 right to win. He — he is coming to-night. I have 
 written to him to come and bid me farewell. Let me 
 have tills comfort — dying so young — that I have re- 
 united those hands that should not have fallen asunder ; 
 reunited them, never to part again, until we all meet 
 beyond the tyranny of doubts, and pains, and tears. ^^ 
 As she concluded, she sank at Mildred's feet. 
 
 The latter, weeping, stooped to raise and embrace 
 her, but Esther refused. 
 
 '' Speak, only speak. Answer me, do you grant my 
 prayer ? What shall I say to him when he comes ? '' 
 
 " Say/^ whispered Mildred, drowned in tears, " say 
 that / have nothing to forgive, much to repent of.'^ 
 
 '^ Enough, I will go,'' said Esther, rising with diflS- 
 culty to her feet ; and resisting, with a sort of mingled 
 fierceness and entreaty, Mildred's eager offers of sup- 
 port and succour, made her way to the carriage, and 
 returned to Rosedale. 
 
 All that day the convulsive paroxysms recurred at 
 intervals, the progress of the disease being apparently 
 but slightly checked by the palliatives to which she 
 had recourse. The patient became moi^e and more 
 intolerant of light; the slightest touch increased her 
 suffering, and the mere mention of any fluid nourish- 
 ment brought on the convulsive tremor.
 
 A Mere Scratch. 119 
 
 It was dark when George arrived. It would be 
 needless to depict the young man's passionate despair. 
 In vain he had striven to nerve himself for the 
 meeting. The sight of her he loved dying in such a 
 manner, and for Jiim, broke down his manhood. Of 
 the two, Esther was the more composed. She made 
 him sit beside her, and having somewhat calmed his 
 sorrow, told him, after due preparation, what she had 
 done that day, ending by entreating him, as he would 
 impart some comfort to her dying hour, to accept the 
 peace she had prepared for him, and seek, in the 
 renewal of his earliest — perhaps most warranted — 
 attachment, forgetfulness of this sharp but transitory 
 grief. 
 
 George heard her with doubt and bewilderment, as 
 if he hardly understood her words, or thought them 
 expressions of delirium ; but she convinced him to the 
 contrary, and pressed her entreaties in such wise, that 
 he at length gave way. 
 
 " If it be my misery to live,'' he said, in a broken 
 voice, ^^ I will do it. I will do anytJdng that you 
 command." 
 
 " I am happy," said Esther, softly. Soon after, she 
 sank into an exhausted sleep. 
 
 To the surprise of those around, there was, on the 
 morrow, no aggravation of the symptoms. The dread 
 march of the disease seemed to be arrested. But Mr. 
 Woford warned them against any delusive hopes, 
 adding, with truth, that such periods of rehef were 
 known to occur. 
 
 George's express returned from London almost as 
 swiftly as he had sped thither. He brought a letter
 
 120 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 from Sir Albert Ray, containing — as might indeed be 
 expected — but little comfort. The eminent physician 
 had cases on his hands as urgent, if less distressing, 
 but would use his utmost endeavours to comply with 
 GeorgVs summons. He cautioned his young friend, 
 however, to expect no real benefit from his coming, 
 and, adverting to the cases instanced by George, 
 owned that there was reason to believe that the 
 parties in question might have been inoculated with 
 the virus producing rabies at some antecedent period 
 unknown to themselves. He added some brief sug- 
 gestions for the patient^s medical attendants. 
 
 " Just what I am doing,^^ remarked Mr. Woford, 
 with a satisfied air. 
 
 It was not until the fourth morning had dawned, 
 that Sir Albert Ray drove up to the cottage. His eye 
 caught the open windows. 
 
 " She lives yet ! '' he thought, with some surprise. 
 
 The next moment he was beside the bed of the 
 fevered-tossing patient. George was astonished at 
 the calm, confident, almost cheerful face with which 
 the reno^vned physician gazed upon a case which 
 every one felt to be hopeless, and he presently 
 descended to the drawing-room, there to await the 
 word of doom. 
 
 When Sir Albert rejoined him, the look of con- 
 fidence had vanished. He pressed his young friend^s 
 hand. 
 
 " Ko hope ? " murmured the latter. 
 
 " There should be none,^^ replied the other. '' I shall 
 see her again when I have spoken with her medical 
 adviser — Mr. whom did you say ? — Woford. He is
 
 A Mere Scratch. 121 
 
 sent for, I thiuk. This is, you say, the fourth day — 
 the fourth ? ^' (George assented.) " That is unusual 
 . . . but there is no absolute rule." And the 
 doctor fell into meditation. 
 
 " Has this poor lady made frequent allusion to the 
 cause of her attack ? " 
 
 " Very frequent." 
 
 ^' Is she acquainted with the ordinary symptoms uf 
 the disorder ? " 
 
 " Too well, I fear ! " 
 
 " Hem ! It may be so," said Sir Albert, thought- 
 fully. " Has she complained of a rising — a globular 
 feeling (if I called it by its name, clavus hystericus, 
 you wouldn't understand me) in her throat ? " 
 
 " From the first." 
 
 '* Where the deuce is Woford ? " said Sir Albert, 
 starting from his chair. '' One question more, by- 
 the-by. Had she sufi'ered from any sudden and violent 
 impulse of emotion ? " 
 
 " None that I am aware of," said George, 
 " but " 
 
 " Stay you here," said the physician, and vanished. 
 
 The ten minutes that followed seemed interminable. 
 When his step was heard returning, George's heart 
 stood still. 
 
 " Can you bear hope? " were the first words he heard. 
 " Mind, I say hope — no more. Then," continued Sir 
 Albert, without waiting for an answer, " give me a 
 magnifying-glass. Look at the toy they offered me 
 above." (He showed Mrs. Turnover's spectacles.) 
 *' Nay, as I'm a living doctor, here's my own. How 
 came I 1 remember. Come with me."
 
 122 A Mere Scratch. 
 
 They went up stairs. Esther was sitting up in bed^ 
 pale as death. 
 
 " There^s a complexion for you ! '' cried the doctor, 
 exultingly. '' Talk to me of rabies, with a face 
 like that! Woford was a baby, and, ^faith, Vm not 
 much better, for listening to you all, instead of at- 
 tending to my work myself. Come, miss, I must 
 have another and a closer peep at that hand. Out 
 with it.''^ He applied the glass very carefully, looking 
 at it again and again. Then he fumbled a little with 
 his waistcoat-pocket, and presently saying sweetly, 
 '^ Now don't scream," probed the open wound with a 
 touch that absolutely wrung from the patient the shriek 
 he had deprecated. It was but that single touch. 
 He waved something aloft. 
 
 " There^s your mad dog ! " he shouted. ^' Eabies ! 
 Hydrophobia! Hydrofiddlestick ! A rose-thorn and 
 a lacerated nerve. In no more danger than I am ! 
 A sudden emotion brought on hysteria. Her own 
 imasrination did the rest. The case is not uncommon. 
 Keep her quiet — light solids. See, I am going to 
 lie down for two hours. If, by that time, m}^ lady 
 here is not drinking like a little fish, 1^11 resign my 
 diploma." 
 
 The doctor was right. In two hours he had de- 
 parted_, carrying with him countless blessings, and 
 leaving a hint (which nobody comprehended) for Mr. 
 Woford^s future guidance, wherein the words " bor- 
 borygmi " and " clavus hystericus " had a consider- 
 able share. 
 
 It was the fifth morning. The lovers — such, alas ! 
 they were — sat together for the last time^ for Esther
 
 A Mere Scratch, 123 
 
 was inflexible. George^s oath and promise must be 
 held as sacred as though her own life had not been ran- 
 somed from the fearful doom that seemed to threaten 
 it. Her whole soul was devoted to the task of recon- 
 ciling him to the separation^ which was inevitable, and 
 must be immediate. 
 
 How far she succeeded there is no occasion to relate. 
 The trial was not decreed. 
 
 George was summoned away for a few moments, 
 and in his place there was kneeling a veiled figure. 
 The veil was thrown aside, and never did Mildred^s 
 anofel-face look more ano^elic than while she whis- 
 pered — 
 
 '^ My darling ! I come to give you back your own. 
 My compact was not made with the living Esther, 
 but the dead. He is yours, and my blessing 
 with him ; for you have taught me a noble lesson, 
 that shall not be lost upon this selfish heart. And 
 do not fear or grieve for me. When we meet, in 
 pleasant days (I hope) to come, I shall be able to 
 confess that my happiness, which deserved a deadly 
 wound, has, like this dear hand, after all, sustained 
 but a mere scratch.'^
 
 THE TEACK OF WAR. 
 
 NE moonliglit niglit in tlie middle of the 
 month of June in this present year (1859) 
 I found myself on the top of Mont Cenis, 
 trudging along ahead of the diligence^ in 
 company with a band of extremely hirsute French 
 soldiers, bound for the Italian wars. These gentlemen 
 constituted the first symptoms I had encountered of 
 the strife now raging in Italy, and it was only on 
 falling into their company that it occurred to me that 
 I was now, for the fourth time in my life, without 
 intending it, on the traces of war. 
 
 What upon earth took me to Schleswig-Holstein at 
 the only time (during the fight with Denmark) when 
 those provinces could not be peaceably examined, I 
 cannot remember, but I have a distinct recollection of 
 learning from General Willisen that everybody there 
 being supposed to be " in earnest,^^ it was imperative 
 that I should either take my musket and fight for 
 something or other, or evacuate Rendsburg without 
 delay. As the generaPs first suggestion was not even
 
 The Trad- of TlVrr. 125 
 
 accompanied by tlie ^^ twenty scudi/' which, combined 
 with the ecstasy of marching to a popular tune_, should, 
 according to Sergeant Belcore, possess u'resistible 
 charms, I adopted the second alternative. As little 
 do I remember wherefore I should have selected 
 Varna, and the stagnant pools of Aladeyn, as an 
 agreeable resort for the hottest period of ever-memor- 
 able eighteen hundred and fifty-four ; nor why I should 
 have absolutely embarked in the Europa at Suez, last 
 July, with the fixed intention of proceeding to India, 
 when every discreet person was coming away, my 
 project being only defeated by the luckiest accident 
 in the world. 
 
 Thus, as I have said, for the fourth time on the 
 track of arms, I yield to an inevitable destiny, and 
 move steadily upon Turin, seeing nothing of mihtary 
 aspect by the way excepting only a small body of 
 horse artillery at Susa, but expecting I know not what 
 of excitement and hostile preparation at the so-lately 
 threatened capital. 
 
 In this I am disappointed. Turin is tranquillity — 
 one might be permitted perhaps to say dulness — itself. 
 It is obviously suffering from the languor succeeding 
 a period of intense excitement. Scarcely a soldier to 
 be seen ! One wounded Zouave, strolling on the 
 Corso, is so marked a man that he attracts a crowd, 
 who follow him in a diminishing tail, terminating in a 
 small boy with cherries and ballads. The hotels are 
 half empty, the theatres half closed; that is to say, 
 open thrice a week (soldiers and children half-price), 
 and then confining themselves to purely occasional 
 pieces, whereof Grli Austriaci in Italia, Commedia, and
 
 J 26 The Tracli of War. 
 
 L^interessantissitno Dramtna, I due Ziiavi, seem tlie 
 favourites, while the young poetry of the nation makes 
 itself heard in chamber recitations, and the street 
 chorus comes swelling up with peculiar fervour : 
 
 Di di lutto, di di guai, 
 Sara quello, o buon Giulai, 
 Che in Piemonte arriverai. 
 
 Ma gia sento un suon di tromba ! 
 II cannone gia riuibomba ! 
 Ah, Giulai !— t'apri la tomba ! 
 
 Excepting that every third man has a newspaper, 
 or bulletin, in his hand, there is no visible token of 
 pubHc anxiety. The wave of war has rolled away and 
 away to the plains of Lombardy, carrying with it every 
 grain of apprehension and uncertainty. This great 
 page of human story is fairly turned : the results are 
 for another page. One thing, at least, may be accepted 
 as certain : the name of Italy is inscribed — the God 
 of Nations grant ! — for ever, in the records of the 
 free. 
 
 Passing one of the hospitals, I meet my friend Dr. 
 Pound. He has been visiting the wounded Austrians, 
 who, to the number of three hundred, are distributed, 
 with French and Sardinians, among the general hos- 
 pitals. Most of the former (Dr. Pound adds) are 
 wounded in the back ; but let that be no reflection on 
 their courage. Their enemies, to a man, admit that 
 they fought admirably — " perfectly.^' They stand 
 well, and even if broken, can be rallied ; but the be- 
 wildering rush of the French infantry is too much for 
 them. The bayonets once crossed, all is over. They
 
 The Trad of War. 127 
 
 resist cavalry better. An Austrian square witlistood 
 six desperate home-charges of the Piedmontese horse, 
 and retired at last in perfect order, having emptied 
 two hundred of the assailants' saddles. As for the 
 admitted want of enthusiasm in the Austrian soldiery, 
 it is no doubt fully compensated for by that other 
 species of esprit de corps, which is the result of iso- 
 lating each regiment to such a degree as to render it 
 in some sort the home and family of every man be- 
 longing to it. 
 
 To remain in Turin is impossible. A visit or two, 
 an agreeable evening at the house of the accomplished 
 gentleman by ^vhose hands — under seven successive 
 home-governments — British interests have been ably 
 administered here, and armed with a safe-conduct 
 (due to his good offices) commending the bearer, 
 " caldamente,'"' to every description of protection, I 
 depart by railway for Xovara, frankly warned, by-the- 
 by, that the said safe-conduct may prove of no greater 
 service than to prevent my being shot, without the 
 opportunity of preferring a few remarks in the form of 
 protest, in the event of my being arrested by the 
 French Carabiniers. 
 
 The jealousy on the part of the French of the pre- 
 sence of strangers, especially English, within their 
 sphere of operations, is carried to an extreme. Being 
 in the remotest manner connected with the press, is a 
 fault understood to entail upon any one a danger 
 similar to the fate of the unlucky gentleman convicted 
 by Jack Cade of clerkdom, and ordered to be hun^ 
 with his inkhorn round his neck. 
 
 As I advance, appearances become more warlike : I
 
 128 The Track of War, 
 
 overtake French officers and Sardinian recruits — the 
 former for Milan, the latter for Alessandria and 
 Genoa, to be drilled. Three months will train these 
 \villing lads, and send them to their soldier- king fit 
 for any work he may require of them. 
 
 Our train, with the dehghtful irregularity which 
 governs such matters at such a time, halts for the day 
 at Alessandria, a place swarming with national 
 guards and fleas. 
 
 Guilty of the absurdity of deeming it necessary to 
 be punctual, I am at the station at eight in the 
 morning. Here, for two hours, the crowd and the 
 confusion are indescribable. Trains seem to arrive 
 and depart every ten minutes, yet mine, for Novara, 
 neither comes nor goes. There is a long train of 
 French twelve-pounder brass guns and some mortars, 
 intended, the men say, "for Mantua," perpetually 
 intruding itself, first at one end of the station then at 
 the other. Now we hope it is at last fairly off. Kow 
 it comes whizzing and shrieking back into the very 
 heart of the crowd which has long since filled the 
 platform, and boiled over. There is a body of several 
 hundred French and Sardinian pioneers, another 
 body of Austrian prisoners, and at least a thousand 
 miscellaneous travellers. But all are at last disposed 
 of, in one way or another, and we are off. Stopping 
 an hour at Valenza, nobody knows why — apparently, 
 however, to purchase cherries — we reach Mortara at 
 two, and Novara at three. 
 
 Here, although the railway, partly destroyed by the 
 Austrians, has been relaid and reopened to-day, I 
 prefer the slow, but certain, progress of a carriage to
 
 The Track of War. 129 
 
 Macrenta — about fifteen miles — and two hours of a 
 
 o 
 
 flat and dusty road bring me to tbat henceforth cele- 
 brated field. Just beyond Trecate the defensive 
 works thrown up by the Austrians begin to be 
 visible, and presently we are on the granite 
 bridge that spans the rushing Ticino, passing gin- 
 gerly over the temporary arch that supplies the 
 chasm made by the enemy, but pausing to admire 
 the beautiful bridge of boats — a perfect model of 
 neatness and solidity — constructed by the French in 
 two hours. 
 
 From the deserted custom-house buildings — terribly 
 scored with shot — to Buffalora, and thence to the 
 village of Magenta, there are constant traces of the 
 battle. The crops, gardens, and vineyards, however, 
 seem to have escaped surprisingly, considering the 
 immense bodies of troops that have manoeuvred and 
 fought in the neighbourhood. With the exception of 
 those strips of land immediately bordering the road, 
 no material damage has been suffered. 
 
 The alternative originated by the celebrated Hobson 
 induced me to take refuge at the Hotel de la Poste, at 
 Magenta, whose pretty landlady immediately pro- 
 ceeded to point out, as one of the objects best worth 
 notice, the little corner chamber in which she — the 
 padrona — took shelter on that terrible day of battle, 
 till — the fight drawing nearer — she descended, as did 
 every other wise inhabitant of the place, to the cellar. 
 That large house, with the ten window-places (there 
 is not an inch of glass left in Magenta), is, she tells 
 me, likewise her property. It is pierced and scored 
 with glancing shot from roof to ground; and in it 
 
 K
 
 130 The Trad of War. 
 
 more than five hundred Austrian soldiers were either 
 killed or made prisoners. 
 
 It is too late to view the field to-night — but the 
 evening is tempting — and I stroll back in the direc- 
 tion of BufFalora, intending to examine a remarkable 
 wooden cross I had observed by the roadside in 
 coming, which seemed to denote the death-place of 
 one of the fallen. 
 
 From Magenta to Buffalora are two good roads, 
 diverging in a broad arc towards the centre ; a cross- 
 path, winding through the vines and orchards, and 
 connecting the two. Strolling as far as Buffalora, 
 from whence, literally, 
 
 Swanor the deep bell iii the distant tower, 
 And the faint dying day-hyinn stole aloft — 
 
 For the entire village, on their knees within and 
 about the grey old church, were engaged in prayers 
 for the success of the national cause — I returned 
 towards Magenta by the other road. Entertaining, 
 however, at that time, some doubts of its leading 
 direct to Magenta, I deemed it safer, on arriving at 
 the cross-road, to follow that, and so regain the road 
 by which I had come. This part of the walk was 
 melancholy enough. It led directly across what had 
 been one of the most fiercely-contested portions of 
 the field, and none but the dead were near. Scores 
 of knapsacks, shakos, canteens, and battered objects, 
 such as the growing darkness forbade to classify, 
 huge black graves heaving up in every direction, and 
 a horrible scent, not unlike, and yet perfectly distin- 
 guishable from, that of a decomposing body, which.
 
 The Trach of War. 131 
 
 on recognizing it the following day in a place where 
 the wounded had been collected, the peasants affirrcied 
 was the smell of blood. In this Aceldama — in the 
 vicinity of which, ten days since, fom-teen thousand 
 gallant hearts were laid to their eternal rest — I 
 lingered till it suddenly struck me that I had lost my 
 way. The perpetual twistings of the path had 
 entirely confounded my ideas as to its general direc- 
 tion, and I was on the point of retracing my steps, 
 when a friendly flash from a thunder- cloud that had 
 been brooding all the evening on the Alps, showed 
 me the white line of the road to Magenta close 
 ahead. 
 
 Early next morning, accompanied by an intelligent 
 native of the place, I set out to take a more extended 
 survey. My guide, who had been for two days 
 employed in assisting the burial parties, pointed out 
 some excavations like gravel-pits, just beyond the 
 village, at the bottom of which, in broad and deep 
 pits, the greater part of the fallen had been interred, 
 dressed as they fell. One of these graves contained 
 two hundred and eighty-three bodies; but the hole 
 being not sufficiently sunk, some corpses were piled 
 up, and covered with soil so shallowly that, in several 
 places, arms and legs were visible. My guide 
 declared most positively that on the two days 
 — Sunday and Monday — succeeding the battle, 
 fourteen thousand bodies, whereof nearly five 
 thousand were French, had been buried between 
 Bufl'alora and Magenta. This was the lowest of the 
 many estimates I had heard, and certainly the most 
 likely to be correct. 
 
 K 2
 
 132 The Trad- of War. 
 
 As we proceeded towards Buffalora^ the traces 
 of the fight augmented. Although more than 
 twenty-five thousand knapsacks had been collected 
 and sent to Milan (where they are burned for 
 the sake of the oil obtained from their calFs-hide 
 covers), many hundreds yet strewed the ground, while 
 at Cascina Nuova, a large old farm-chateau, the 
 Hougoumont of the fight, there was a pile of hats, 
 caps, cartridge-boxes, &c., as high as a little 
 house. 
 
 The unlucky owner of this much mishandled dwell- 
 ing, who was tending silkworms with his whole 
 family, including the grandmother (every family in 
 Italy has its grandmother), talked bitterly of the 
 treatment he had experienced at the hands of the 
 Austrians, who had impressed him and his cattle 
 into their service, and had wounded him severely in 
 the person of a favourite cow. " The French doctor,^^ 
 he said, '^ had paid a cursory visit to the cow, and 
 made light of the injury ; but he would feel obliged if 
 the signori would examine the damaged brute,^^ the 
 which we did, and comforted him with the assurance 
 that the cow would certainly survive, though with 
 a limp in her gait for the remainder of her days. 
 There was a broken brick in the window, and he told 
 us how, while engaged with his bullocks, under the 
 eye of an Austrian soldier, a Frenchman had ap- 
 proached within three steps of the window, and, firing 
 in, smashed the brick, killing the Austrian on the 
 spot. 
 
 All agreed in indicating the spot, near the custom- 
 house buildings, where Gyulai stood during the heat
 
 The Trad: of War. 133 
 
 of tlie action, enraged, a wounded Austrian officer 
 averred, at his defeat, and furiously upbraiding the 
 officers who represented to him the imminent proba- 
 bihty of his positions being forced. 
 
 Under the wall of a pretty little cemetery, a part of 
 which, including some rich monumental tablets, had 
 been ruthlessly torn down to admit of the working of 
 a gun, we came upon the first grave distinguished 
 with the name of the fallen : " Jean Mincent, aux 
 Zouaves de la Garde. Tue a Passaut de Buffalora, le 
 4 juin.'^ 
 
 Not far from hence we discerned the wooden 
 cross that had attracted my notice the previous 
 day. It stood at the corner of an orchard, half 
 a mile from Buffalora, and bore a pencil inscription, 
 thus : — 
 
 '^ Ci-git Bouisson, Jean-Fi-anyois, Adjutant a la 
 3™^ Batt. de regiment d^artillerie a cheval de la Garde 
 Imperiale. Tue le 4 juin d^un coup de baionnette en 
 defendant sa piece.^^ 
 
 The crosses are not many; but, a few hundred 
 yards further, near a much-trampled garden, we see 
 two large dark mounds bearing respectively the in- 
 timation : 
 
 " Gren. de la Garde. Ci-gisent douze braves tues 
 le 4 juin." And, " Quatre-vingt-trois sold, autrichiens 
 ont ete enterres le 4 juin." 
 
 Crossing the railway line, we encounter a column of 
 Austrian prisoners, eight hundred and thirty-two in 
 number, as one of their escort of fifteen informs us. 
 They are mostly fine young men, and march gaily 
 enough along, though some bandages and pale laces
 
 134 The Trade of War. 
 
 show that certain of them have but recently been dis- 
 charged from hospital. 
 
 The old church of Magenta, a very large building, 
 has not escaped in the conflict. Innumerable bullets 
 are imbedded in the walls. We dug out two as me- 
 morials, which, being above easy reach, had evaded 
 the pei-quisitions of the " signori del paese," who, we 
 were told, had carried off almost every available sou- 
 venir of the fio-ht. Three cannon-balls had struck the 
 church, one of which, entering above the principal 
 door, traversed the building and struck off a large 
 mass of masonry beside the pulpit. Through the 
 grating of a crypt might be seen a pile of a hundred 
 and fifty skulls, carefully arranged upon a solid sub- 
 stratum of thigh-bones, the skull which formed the 
 apex being moreover adorned with a clerical hat. 
 These were a few of the hamlet^ s forefathers, who, 
 with their pastors, had been exhumed after nearly a 
 century^s repose, to make room for more recent gene- 
 rations. 
 
 After a visit to the cemetery, the scene of an ob- 
 stinate struarorle which cost the Austrians six hundred 
 men, and in which the pioneers have made sad work 
 with the Pinettis, Berrettas, and other noble houses 
 who had therein set up their rest, we bid adieu to 
 Magenta, henceforth renowned in story, for Milan — 
 for Milan, all flag, and flutter, and triumph, and talk, 
 and tears — for there is a dark page to every book of 
 glory — and within forty miles of which then hovered 
 the defeated foe. 
 
 On Thursday, the twenty-second of June, rumours
 
 The Trad' of War. 135 
 
 of a battle likely to occur on the next day but one, 
 between Brescia and Pescliiera, determined me, after 
 one final and unsuccessful effort to obtain a French 
 pass, to set off for the scene of expected operations 
 without one. The French consul, however, polite but 
 powerless, intimated that an application to General 
 Castel Borgo, commanding at Milan, might be happier 
 in its results, and so indeed it proved. 
 
 Thus provided, and accompanied by an English lady 
 resident in Italy, who with her servant had been en- 
 g-aged in administering to the needs of the sick and 
 wounded in the crowded hospitals of Milan, and de- 
 sired to extend her care's to those of Brescia, I started 
 at once for the latter place. The journey, however, 
 proved too much for my companion to perform within 
 the day. We therefore halted at Bergamo, and only- 
 reached our destination in the afternoon of Friday 
 the twenty-fifth. 
 
 Scarcely had we set foot in the place when reports 
 of a great battle began to circulate. General action 
 — terrible struggle — loss greater than Magenta — no 
 result — the king wounded — three generals and twenty 
 thousand Piedmontese killed and wounded — fight still 
 continuing, — such were the progressive rumours. The 
 whereabouts was equally uncertain. Ten miles off, 
 towards Montechiari — no; more than twent}" — near 
 Rivolterra — at Lonato — at Peschiera ! 
 
 Presently the wounded began to appear. We 
 selected a party of six Piedmontese officers, three of 
 whom were hurt in the arm, and three in the leg, and, 
 appealing to him who seemed to be suffering least, we 
 learned that a fierce battle had commenced not far
 
 136 The Trade of War. 
 
 from Rivolterra, at three o'clock that morning. The 
 account this gentleman rendered was not upon the 
 whole very clear, but the general impression it con- 
 veyed w^as that the Piedmontese had been the subject 
 of a surprise,, and that the conflict, though bloody, 
 was without advantage on either side. 
 
 As the evening advanced, and more wounded men 
 came halting in, the excitement increased to fever 
 height, and each arrival became the centre of a little 
 crowd of eager listeners. As all these, however, had 
 quitted the field early in the day, such information as 
 they were able to give was more calculated to augment 
 than allay the general anxiety .- 
 
 Presently came in from Milan a Piedmontese officer 
 of rank and his aid ; and the former, having heard 
 from us the first news of the battle, proceeded at once 
 to the intendant, and in a few minutes brought back 
 what purported to be the emperor's despatch, as 
 follows : — 
 
 " The entire line has been engaged — enemy 
 repulsed with heavy loss. Particulars to-morrow.'' 
 And with this, which certainly had not a highly 
 victorious relish, we were fain for the present to be 
 content. 
 
 Brescia did not go much to bed that night. At, 
 and even after, eleven o^clock, the rumble and creak of 
 bullock-carts announced the arrival of the wounded. 
 There was no longer any doubt concerning the locality. 
 The Sardinian portion of the fight had occurred 
 eighteen miles away— at St. Martino — and the bullock- 
 carts, according to their usual rate of progress, had 
 occupied more than six hours in transporting the
 
 The Track of War. 137 
 
 poor fainting fellows to the hospitals. But these 
 were not the worst cases. Those most severely hurt 
 had been cared for nearer to the spot, and but too 
 many had fallen into the hands of the enemy. For it 
 now began to be generally understood that the 
 struggle had indeed been of a most desperate charac- 
 ter, and that the strong position of Saint Martino had 
 only been carried by the Piedmontese after a series of 
 repulses and the loss of eighteen hundred men. The 
 king had pledged himself to the French to take the 
 heights, and have them he would ! After the third 
 failure, a terrific storm of thunder, lightning, and hail 
 half obscured the contested position. ^^ Now is our 
 time ! En avant, tous ! " was the cry. And, this 
 time, it was won. 
 
 At dawn, next day, we started to view the field. I 
 had a companion in the person of a major in the 
 United States regular army, who had popped over 
 from America expressly to see a battle on ground 
 sacred to so many former triumphs. Although pro- 
 vided with letters to a distinguished marshal, he had 
 not been more fortunate than myself in obtaining 
 access to the front. Nevertheless, with the pluck and 
 perseverance of his country, the major had not ceased 
 for many days to harass the army of France, infesting 
 its rear, threatening its flank, skirmishing with its 
 patrols; and on one occasion, by a very brilliant 
 manoeuvre, contriving to be found, on the emperor 
 arriving at Montechiari, in his very front. As this, 
 however, was a position of considerable danger, being 
 in equal peril from the advanced posts of both armies, 
 the major, content with his success, retired in perfect
 
 138 The Trad of War. 
 
 order with his baggage, upon Brescia, and effected 
 a junction with me. 
 
 Long trains of wounded met us as we quitted the 
 town; six or eight pale, blood-stained, disordered 
 creatures stretched upon each car, and partly screened 
 with green boughs from the rapidly-increasing heat. 
 Every imaginable vehicle that had wheels appeared 
 to have been pressed into the service, while many 
 poor fellows toiled wearily along the road, as if they 
 had walked the entire distance. Soon, we encountered 
 about a hundred prisoners, escorted by half a dozen 
 lancers. Stopped for a moment in front of a large 
 house, we saw that the whole of the ground-floor 
 rooms were occupied by badly-wounded men. Of 
 those w^hom we subsequently passed on the road a 
 large proportion were Bersaglieri, and we learned that 
 they had suffered most severely, one battalion losing 
 ten captains. 
 
 At Dezenzano, sixteen miles from Brescia, we 
 touched the pretty lake of Garda, and turning to the 
 right, in a few minutes reached Eivolterra, from 
 whence the heights of Saint Martino were plainly 
 visible. Here we were stopped by a patrol, but, on 
 appealing to an officer of rank who stood near, and 
 exhibiting my pass, we were directly permitted to 
 proceed, the colonel onh^ requesting that if we chanced 
 upon any wounded officer requiring the means of 
 transit, we would give him a seat in the carriage, 
 a proposal to which it is needless to say we heartily 
 agreed. 
 
 More wounded, in horse-litters and other convey- 
 ances : and now we reach the battle-ground, and begin
 
 Tlce Track of War, 139 
 
 to see the dead. The first body was that of an 
 Austrian, probably a wounded prisoner, for the 
 Austrians never descended the heights. After this, 
 as we passed up the road leading through vines, 
 Indian corn, and an oak copse, towards the crown of 
 the position, the slain lay thick enough. Muskets, 
 scabbards, and all the equipments of the soldier were 
 scattered in every direction, the trees were torn with 
 round shot, and a large chateau, Casa Bianca, the 
 property of the Signora Angelina P., of Dezenzano, 
 which had been in course of repair and decoration, 
 had undergone a terrible pounding. I entered this 
 house with a Piedmontese officer. It was filled with 
 dead, dying, and prisoners, and presented a scene of 
 suffering and desolation not easy to describe, and 
 yet no worse than many a chapter of war. While 
 talking to the Piedmontese, a deputation was sent to 
 him from the prisoners, requesting that they might 
 not be hanged, but that they would much prefer 
 being shot ! I may add, here, that some of the pri- 
 soners at Brescia, on being asked why they had 
 sometimes defended themselves in situations that 
 admitted of no hope, declared they had been told that, 
 in the event of being made prisoners, they would 
 inevitably be either hanged or burned alive. 
 
 On the crest of the position there must have been 
 about seven hundred dead, among whom were many 
 officers, distinguishable by their white hands and feet, 
 rather than their di'ess, which is made to assimilate as 
 much as possible to that of the men. Most of the 
 bodies appeared to have undergone a hasty search ; 
 the chief part of the contents of the knapsack beiug
 
 140 The Trad: of War. 
 
 removed. In other respects they remained as they 
 had fallen. I picked up a letter lying beside the body 
 of a fine young soldier, who had. been, a volunteer 
 from Genoa. It was from his wife, beautifully and 
 touchingly written, with all the fervour of her im- 
 passioned native tongue. It drew a little domestic 
 picture for the comfort of him who was the hght of 
 their dwelling : there were the sayings and doings of 
 Felicia and Brigida ; that a pretty dress was being 
 secretly made for his dear mother ; '^ I pray for you 
 niglit and day ; pray that you may be restored to live 
 in health and peace ; I have no consolation but in 
 your dear letters. I send you embraces and kisses 
 from my innermost heart.'' Alas, poor wife ! a Tyro- 
 lese bullet had stilled for ever the throbbings of that 
 which should have prompted the reply. 
 
 It was noticeable among these young soldiers of 
 freedom how fondly the recollection of the mother 
 seemed to be cherished. In their letters and on 
 their tongues "< la mia madre " was always the pro- 
 minent th.eme. One poor fellow, who was severely 
 wounded in the side and head, had come from the 
 neighbourhood of Padua, and had, consequently, been 
 separated from his family during the whole time of 
 his service — thirteen years ; he talked incessantly of 
 his mother, rejoicing that, if he lived, he should now 
 see her, and present himself to he.', a captain ! 
 
 The prisoners informed us that the Emperor 
 Francis Joseph had been close at hand during the 
 fight. He had spoken kindly to a Piedmontese 
 officer who had been taken, and kept him beside 
 him ; but we also gathered from them that the
 
 Tlie Trad: of War. 141 
 
 Austrian soldiers had treated their prisoners — of 
 which in the three repulsed attacks they made nearly 
 a thousand — with much brutality. 
 
 A Piedmontese captain, who was present when the 
 King of Sardinia viewed the captured position, told 
 me his Majesty was sensibly affected at the heavy 
 loss. It appeared that he had been somewhat de- 
 ceived by false information, and had found the enemy 
 in far greater force than he expected : the odds were, 
 in realiry, thirty-five thousand to fifteen. A court- 
 martial was held at the inn at Dezenzano, at which 
 we stayed, on the day after the battle, upon one of 
 the treacherous spies ; but, though he was sent away 
 under a guard, I believe that he had been acquitted. 
 It is a fact that, in spite of the general hatred of 
 Austrian domination, Austria is yet not without 
 zealous adherents in this part of the country. 
 
 I asked an old Piedmontese officer what the battle 
 would be called : — 
 
 '^It ought to be Saint Martino,^' he replied; "for 
 it is the strongest position on the line — and God 
 knows it has cost us dear — dear. But it is the 
 French who give the names, and they will most likely 
 call it Solferino or Cavriana." 
 
 Before quitting the ground, we had a fine view of 
 the French columns as they moved round our left, 
 preparatory to the general advance upon Peschiera 
 and the Mincio. Presently, the Piedmontese divi- 
 sions likewise got under arms, and, with bands 
 playing gaily, and followed by their guns and ma- 
 teriel, marched down the heights, leaving them 
 tenanted only by the dead, and those who were
 
 142 The Trach of War. 
 
 engaged in the duty of committing the dead to their 
 last repose. 
 
 That day there had been a terrible alarm at Brescia, 
 oriofinatino^, as some affirmed, in a " tradimento '' — 
 conspiracy on the part of the Austrian prisoners, now 
 about four thousand in number, who had contrived to 
 spread a report that the Austrians, by a totally unex- 
 pected movement, were advancing upon the town. 
 Barricades were thrown up, roads broken, trees cut 
 down, and the wildest confusion reigned. A battery 
 of French guns that had advanced some distance on 
 the road on their way to the front, turned back, and 
 getting mixed up with a train of wounded, some 
 of the bullock-carts were upset, and more than one 
 of the sufferers they carried left dead upon the 
 road. 
 
 At Dezenzano we found great numbers of the worst 
 wounded receiving in the church and private houses 
 such care as they might. But the resources of the 
 neighbourhood were quite unequal to the constantly 
 increasing demand. Linen was especially wanted ; 
 lemons and sugar — so necessary for the fevered men 
 — were not obtainable at any price, and not a surgeon 
 was to be found. One poor fellow, with his arm fear- 
 fully shattered, told us he had been creeping about 
 for many hours in search of a doctor, who he hoped 
 would take it off. The casualties, in fact, had ex- 
 ceeded all calculation ; and we now learned, in addi- 
 tion, that more than four thousand wounded French 
 were requiring the attentions of the doctors and kind 
 volunteer nurses of Brescia. My friend, Mrs. C, 
 resolved to remain at Dezenzano, sending to Brescia
 
 The Track of War, 
 
 143 
 
 for some of the things most needed fur the sufferers, 
 for which our carriage was placed at her disposal ; 
 and here, within sight and hearing of the guns of 
 Peschiera, my friend the major and I also fixed our 
 head-quarters, to be ready for any chance that might 
 offer.
 
 THE LAST OF THE WAE. 
 
 T is extremely liot^ at Dezenzano, this 
 I seven til day of July, eighteen hundred and 
 fifty-nine. To be on the Lake of Garda 
 on such a day is equivalent to wishing to 
 be in it. Yet what would that avail ? The lake 
 smokes as if in a perspiration, and has not strength 
 to lift fairly ashore the incidental cabbage- stalk 
 which has been, for these ten minutes, feebly filliping 
 the beach in vain endeavours to effect a landing. 
 An individual of the carp family, emerging from the 
 depths, gives a lazy lounge against a piece of crust 
 somebody has flung from the balcony of the hotel 
 (who could have made the exertion ?), but the size 
 disgusts him ; and, deferring his dinner to a cooler 
 season, the scaly epicure permits himself to dis- 
 appear. Two little " agones '^ (the treasures of this 
 lake ; fish almost too delicious to cook, had cooking 
 not been their obvious end), with a pettish whisk of 
 their tails, endorse the senior^s opinion, and withdraw 
 with equal abruptness from the very presence of food.
 
 The Last of the War. 145 
 
 Three motionless swallows sit on my window-sill, 
 with their beaks open to an extent that suggests the 
 idea of their having perished by the garotte and been 
 stuffed as they died. Nothing is in movement, but 
 a very brown lady ; who, on her knees by the lake, 
 with a heap of linen at her side, is executing that 
 process of saturation and cudgelling here recognised 
 as '' washing,^' and which generally results in the 
 restoration of one^s shirts, marked with brown 
 streaks, as of profuse weeping, together with the 
 entire absence of every button they possessed. 
 
 The exertion of brushing a fly from one^s nose acts 
 as a profuse sudorific. An eccentric combination of 
 doors and windows enables me to catch a glimpse of 
 the absolute waiter actually asleep on a couch, with an 
 empty soda-water bottle in his hand. But to few is 
 it allotted fairly to behold a slumbering waiter. When 
 a waiter sleeps, let general nature nod. In truth, a 
 universal lassitude does prevail. The rumble of forage 
 and munition carts, the tramp of horse, the jingle of 
 sabre and spur, have unaccountably surceased. The 
 very war is asleep. 
 Bang ! 
 
 Not exactly. A deep growl (to which, except for 
 ancient usage, the brief, sharp, monosyllable ^^bang^^ 
 would be totally inapplicable), and a low rattle of 
 window-panes, send the surly denial. Looking across 
 the foot of the lake so as to cut off a southern strip of 
 the latter, one may see a white cloud just dispersing. 
 Below it is the largest of the formidable earthworks 
 which, since eighteen hundred and forty-eight, con- 
 stitute the defences of Peschiera.
 
 146 The Last of the War. 
 
 The distance — let us await another gun and calculate 
 it by the transmission of the sound. Thirty-four 
 seconds, to a fraction. If Cocker be worthy of the 
 confidence hitherto reposed in him, we are seven 
 miles, less one hundred and twenty yards, from that 
 gun^s mouth. 
 
 Peschiera is most on the alert when others sleep, or 
 prefer inaction. Last night, for example, occurred 
 one of those ghastly storms so frequent in Italy, com- 
 pounded of thunder, lightning, and a hot, furious 
 wind, without a drop of rain. The lightning was 
 incessant ; there was no calculable space between the 
 flashes ; it was one perpetual blue shimmer ; keeping 
 one's eyes in a condition of unceasing wink. This 
 moment Peschiera selected for opening a lively fire 
 upon something or somebody. The cannonade grew 
 heavier ; shells, fired at an uncommon elevation, made 
 brilliant arches in the air, and, at one period, a low 
 grumble of small arms seemed to imply that some- 
 thing serious was in progress. The artificial con- 
 siderably outlasted the natural storm, and did not 
 subside till dawn, when I retired to bed in the con- 
 viction that the fortress had either been captured, or 
 had inflicted upon her assailants a lesson they would 
 not easily forget. Accordingly, I felt a little disgusted 
 on learning from a' Piedmontese oflficer, whom I met 
 at breakfast, " Ce nMtait rien, rien du tout. ■'Tite 
 sortie, peut-etre."" (It was nothing, nothing what- 
 ever. A little sally, perhaps.) 
 
 The results of this nothing arrived in the very 
 hottest part of the hot succeeding day, in the shape 
 of a cartful of wounded men. One death only had
 
 The Last of the War. 147 
 
 occurred ; that of a gallant young officer of Bersaglieri, 
 who had survived the perils of Magenta and Solferino 
 to perish in this night skirmish. A cannon-shot tore 
 away his left arm and shoulder. *^Ho made one 
 grimace," said a soldier, who was much attached to 
 him, and shed tears, '' and was gone." 
 
 Alarms by day, and especially this day, are languid 
 and rare. Nevertheless, an energetic American officer 
 of engineers, upon whose well-tanned countenance the 
 sunbeams innocently play, with a degree of calmness 
 that certainly entitles him to be considered as in pos- 
 session of his senses, proposes a noontide visit to the 
 front ! 
 
 With some difficulty we get the expedition deferred 
 till the evening, and reconcile our friend to the delay 
 by engaging him in conversation on the subject of his 
 adventures at Solferino. He has not much of import- 
 ance to add to what he has previously related. For 
 has he not told us already how, being aroused by the 
 guns, he saddled his horse, and darted away at once 
 in the direction of the greatest noise ? How, from 
 his profound ignorance of the ground, he had dis- 
 tributed his presence with the greatest impartiality 
 among the three contending hosts, until his horse, 
 rendered frantic by the bursting shells, seized the bit 
 in his teeth, and, with much discretion, landed his 
 master among the staff of astonished General Fanti, 
 with whom, however, he was permitted to ride for the 
 remainder of that eventful day. How, the struggle 
 ended, he traversed almost the whole of the extended 
 field, and witnessed a spectacle of suffering and death 
 not destined, we may hope, to find many parallels in 
 
 L 2
 
 148 The Last of the War, 
 
 what remains of the world's history. And how, at 
 one spot, where the dead and wounded lay ^^ as thick 
 as stones/^ he noticed that the brave French soldiers, 
 bleeding on the ground, still laughed and chatted 
 after their easy manner, and could think of nothing 
 but the events of the contest, and the possible annoy- 
 ance of their emperor at the loss they had experienced 
 at certain points. 
 
 '^ How could it be helped, when we could only see 
 the top of their caps ? Que voulez-vous ? " 
 
 There was something touching in the poor fellows' 
 apologising for being killed. 
 
 Nor were the gallant American's adventures over 
 when, after having been instrumental in obtaining 
 succour for many wounded who had crawled aside out 
 of the fire, and might have been overlooked, he at 
 length folded himself in his cloak, and lay down for 
 the night under the shelter of a friendly haystack. 
 Perpetual low cries, bespeaking an agony more intense 
 than anything he had witnessed yet, sounded in his 
 ears, and compelled him to resume his search. It was 
 an Austrian officer, whose thigh was shattered in a 
 fearful manner. Hastening to the nearest cottage, 
 our friend entreated assistance. 
 
 " Is he Piedmontese ? '' inquired the master of the 
 hut. 
 
 ^'No.^' 
 
 '^French, then?'' 
 
 ^^No.'' 
 
 '^ Ah/' said the man, preparing to close his door, 
 ^' Tedesco. The brigand ! Let him lie." 
 
 Our friend had not much Italian — perhaps the good
 
 The Last of the War. 149 
 
 Samaritan was no great linguist ; but there is a uni- 
 versal tongue of whicli no man dare plead ignorance, 
 and it was probably with some accent of this on his 
 tongue that our friend, laying his finger on the man's 
 arm, with the words, "Tedesco .... ma uomo" 
 (Tedesco — but still a man), led him, willing enough, 
 to the spot where his assistance was needed. 
 
 A visit to one of the nearer hospitals (there are nine 
 in Dezenzano, containing about four hundred of the 
 worst wounded) will occupy the time until it is cool 
 enough to see what is going on at Peschiera. A 
 noble-hearted English lady — what great scene of 
 human trial is ever without such a mitigant ? — arrived 
 here the day succeeding the battle, and, though her- 
 self in delicate health, has remained here ever since, 
 devotinof all her enero^ies to the alleviation of the 
 suffering around her. In the course of this one day, 
 she and her maid have made, and stuffed with care- 
 fully carded wool, not less than twenty-four pillows 
 for the poor wounded soldiers, many of whom have 
 still no better couch than a heap of hay. 
 
 Gladly accepting the charge of her basket of restora- 
 tives, we attend her to a large old building in the 
 Piazza Teatro, and turn into the first room. It is the 
 theatre itself. The audience part, converted into an 
 hospital, contains about thirty beds, tenanted exclu- 
 sively by wounded Piedmontese officers. The stage 
 part remains intact, and, with the scenes and proper- 
 ties, lamps, chairs, &c., contrasts strangely with the 
 melancholy performance enacting in front. We make 
 the tour of the room, distributing fans and oranges — 
 the heat and flies being almost intolerable to the
 
 J 50 The Last of the War. 
 
 fevered patients. The latter, though in many cases 
 suffering from severe injuries, are comfortable and 
 well cared for, having had the attendance of their own 
 servants until yesterday, when the exigencies of the 
 service necessitated their recall. 
 
 It is among the men that help is most needed, and 
 we presently visit an apartment above, in which 
 anguish is visible in every possible shape. 
 
 In the first bed lies the only stranger sufferer — a 
 man of noble aspect — a Croat. He has been shot 
 through the lungs, and bayoneted in the arm and 
 hand. Unable to speak, he feebly hfts up three 
 fingers to signify his three hurts. Wounded probably 
 to death, speechless, and a prisoner, the poor fellow 
 makes no other gesture of complaint, but looks wist- 
 fully at the morsel of orange we are preparing to put 
 between his parched lips. It must be nectar, by his 
 look; and we are about to offer another, when he 
 glances towards his neighbour, and, with great diffi- 
 culty, articulates, ^^Fratello!" (Brother). 
 
 His brother sufferer is, however, beyond such 
 solace. A ball had lodged in his temples, depriving 
 him of sight, and — it must be hoped — of consciousness 
 also. His head was swollen to twice the natural size. 
 Excepting some intervals of violent convulsions, he 
 had lain for fourteen days in that condition, receiving 
 no other nourishment than a few drops of cold water. 
 
 Next to him, and calling unceasingly for his mother 
 and sister, lies a young man from Padua. He was 
 originally a conscript, but, deserting the Austrian 
 service, entered that of Piedmont, and has served 
 gallantly for a period of thirteen years, during which
 
 The Lad of the War. 151 
 
 he has, of course, been cut off from home and friends. 
 The way to these is opened too late. He will not see 
 another sun. A dark screen, placed round the next 
 bed, denotes that the sufferer has been released. 
 
 Here is a brave Bersagliere, who has already under- 
 gone the amputation of both legs, and must, if he 
 would live, sacrifice his better arm. 
 
 Here is a youth, desperately wounded, but in high 
 spirits. He is to be an officer if he lives. But his 
 great content is that he has found his uncle. He 
 knew that his relative had been wounded, and, when 
 himself picked up, wearied everybody with entreaties 
 to seek out his " zio,^' to whom he was greatly 
 attached. Time would not permit of this, but, by a 
 very singular coincidence, the boy, on reaching the 
 hospital, found his ^^zio^^ in the next bed to his 
 own. 
 
 Here is a poor fellow, careless of his shattered arm, 
 but crying bitterly for the loss of his officer, St. 
 Martino, who is in the list of killed, and whose death, 
 on the well-contested heights which happen to bear 
 his name, was one of the many interesting episodes of 
 the war. He had been, as he considered, unjustly 
 overlooked in a matter of promotion. The captain of 
 his company being slain in the last attack upon St. 
 Martino, the command which should have been his by 
 right devolved upon him by casualty. Determined to 
 prove himself worthy of it, and throwing himself far 
 before his men, he encouraged them to storm the 
 Austrian battery that crowned the position. A grape- 
 shot tore his thigh, but finding himself still able to 
 walk, he continued by voice and example to animate
 
 152 Tlie Last of the War. 
 
 his men, and only when the height was fairly won 
 allowed his wound to be examined. It was too late. 
 Exhausted by loss of blood — for the injury was not 
 necessarily mortal — he had but time to dictate a 
 message to his friends, and so expired. 
 
 The patients are suffering much to-day from fever. 
 There is one case of typhus — which has been isolated 
 — and a threatening of a much-dreaded disease, hither- 
 to confined to Lombardy — the " milijaja/^ the proper 
 treatment of which has only recently been determined. 
 The chief characteristic is a violent rash, which must 
 be at once freely thrown out, or the patient dies. 
 
 The attendants are kind, but few. The influx of 
 wounded has exceeded all calculation, and the thirty- 
 four crowded hospitals of Brescia furnish full employ- 
 ment to nurses and medical men. Provisions at 
 Dezenzano and the neighbouring villages are scarce 
 and amazingly dear, nor can it be disguised that the 
 enthusiasm for freedom which so strongly characterizes - 
 the people as far as Brescia, undergoes a remarkable 
 change so soon as that line is passed. On the pretext 
 that the Austrians had made a clean sweep of the 
 country — an excuse of which it was notdiSicult to ascer- 
 tain the utter falsehood — the tradespeople frequently 
 refused to supply the common necessaries for the 
 wounded, except at three times the usual price. On 
 one occasion no bread whatever was to be obtained. 
 There are but two bakers in Dezenzano, and these 
 patriotic men put up their shutters in the teeth of the 
 hungry applicants, averring that they had no flour, 
 whereas any amount of that necessary article was 
 obtainable from Brescia in four or five hours.
 
 The Last of the War. 153 
 
 The language of the peasant population was de- 
 cidedly discreet and calm. 
 
 " Well, how do you like the change ? ^' was the 
 question a friend of mine was fond of putting, accom- 
 panied with an encouraging smile, to every rural pro- 
 prietor he met. 
 
 The reply was generally conveyed in one word : 
 " Vedremo/^ (We shall see.) 
 
 Can it be that the process of denationalization had 
 already made such progress ? Was the rabbit abso- 
 lutely in course of digestion in the mighty serpent^s 
 maw ? '^ Vedremo.^^ It sounds significant. 
 
 Our basket is empty. Some words of encourage- 
 ment, a touch of the burning hands, an arrangement 
 of the pillow, is all we have to bestow upon the re- 
 maining invalids ; but the very notice is enough, and 
 we defy any one to refuse thus much to the piteous 
 " Ah, signer ! ah, signer ! ^^ which follows any attempt 
 to pass without it. 
 
 Farewell, poor soldiers of ransomed Italy — still in 
 the strife — for surely it is in the heat, the fever, the 
 squalor — in the inevitable neglect, the unmiti gable 
 pain, the heavy changes of day to night, and night to 
 day, the anxious thought, and frenzied dream — that 
 the worst and most trying fight is waged. 
 
 Man, while he lives, must dine. The very worst 
 repast, for the eating of which mortal individual was 
 ever fined four francs, occupies half an hour. And 
 now it is six o^clock. Order the horses. Away to- 
 wards Peschiera ! 
 
 In company with Major G., a gallant Piedmontese 
 officer who served in the Crimea, and now com-
 
 154 The Last of the War. 
 
 mands the waggon-train, we canter off towards 
 PozzolengOj about an hour^s easy ride. Leaving our 
 horses at tlie little albergo, we push on to certain 
 heights about a mile further — near Sansoni — and 
 there_, as on a map, lie spread before us Peschiera and 
 the war. The town itself, lying in a trench, is only 
 distinguishable by a tower and some dimly seen roofs ; 
 but the works which give importance to the place are 
 clear enough. We are not more than a mile and a half 
 from '' number four/^ the largest link in the formidable 
 chain of thirteen forts which hangs around the neck of 
 Peschiera the warlike. 
 
 Is it possible that these light-brown hillocks, with 
 green crowns, and a knob on the top, looking like 
 half-completed railway embankments, really hold at 
 bay the victorious hosts of France and Piedmont ? If 
 we except that solitary sentinel standing motionless 
 on an angle of the nearest work, not a sign of life is 
 visible in any direction in the country held by the 
 enemy. The evening is still and beautiful — the land- 
 scape like one rich garden, sparkling with villas, with 
 here and there a village clock-tower — in castled ruin, 
 lifting a hoary head above the abundant trees. In 
 the valley — half way to the enemy — are the still 
 smoking remains of a beautiful chateau, burned by the 
 Austrians two or three days ago. It was done with 
 the greatest politeness. The proprietor was in the 
 act of sitting down to his two o^ clock dinner, when an 
 Austrian officer presented himself, with the compli- 
 ments of his general, and an intimation that, as the 
 position of the chateau had become strategically incon- 
 venient, a party would attend to burn it down that
 
 The Last of the War, 155 
 
 evening or the following morning, whichever might be 
 most convenient to the owner. It was now garrisoned 
 by neither party, but each had established an outpost 
 fifty yards from the walls. 
 
 It is now nearly half-past seven, and no fort has 
 fired a shot since three. While we are yet speculating 
 on this unaccustomed forbearance, a puff of white 
 smoke from " number six '* is seen, and a shell, 
 directed at some French encamped on our right, falls 
 short. 
 
 As though to correct the error, a sister-fort, though 
 nearly half a mile more distant, sends a shell right 
 over number six, and drops it apparently within 
 twenty yards of the first row of tents, a range of 
 nearly two miles. 
 
 Again a silence succeeds, when a long line of black 
 smoke over the Lake of Garda attracts our attention. 
 Up go the glasses. A steamer ! An armed steamer, 
 making for Peschiera at tremendous speed ! Now 
 we shall see something ; for get in she cannot, with- 
 out a word or two with the French to the east of 
 the fortress. There is no doubt, however, of her 
 intention. On she comes, two miles from Peschiera, 
 one from the shore, along which she has to coast. 
 Bang ! bang ! two French guns. The range is too 
 far. The little steamer has no idea of letting the 
 salutation pass unnoticed. She yaws a little, and 
 sends a reply from one of her eight guns, after which 
 a brisk little duel ensues, the steamer loading and 
 firing with wonderful rapidity, slackening her speed 
 as if in no hurry to have done with it, and loth to 
 get out of range. It was pluckily done, for had a
 
 156 The Last of the War, 
 
 shot disabled her she was lost. At one moment we 
 thought this had been the case; but she was only 
 manoeuvring to fire a parting gun, and in a quarter 
 of an hour from the time her smoke had become 
 visible she was threading the Mincio in safety under 
 the guns of the fortress, the nearer works of which 
 we could distinguish thronged with spectators waving 
 their hats in acclamation. It was a pretty little scene 
 for a summer evening^ s walk, the extreme clearness and 
 stillness of the time lending it the appearance of 
 being enacted at our very feet. 
 
 Eight o^ clock : the forts have been mute since 
 those two shells. Their conduct to-day is inscrutable. 
 A member of our party, of an imaginative turn, is 
 positive that something unusual is about to occur, and 
 proposes that we should encamp at once where we 
 are and witness it. Without being able to say why, 
 everybody partakes in some degree of the presenti- 
 ment already expressed. But what is it we are to 
 see ? A sortie ? The most unlikely thing in the 
 world. The besieged would not have run the risk of 
 awakening suspicion of any unusual preparation by 
 suspending their usual fire. Against the fortress, it is 
 notorious, nothing will yet be done. We remain as 
 though fascinated to the spot, looking down upon the 
 darkening landscape, and listening to the decreasing 
 murmurs of the camps, until the moon peeps up over 
 the lake, and the French watch-fires glimmer out 
 along the line of heights, as far as the eye can 
 reach. Five minutes more, and we will go. There 
 will be nothing more to-night. 
 
 A flash ! A heavy gun from the nearest work. We
 
 The Last of the War. 
 
 157 
 
 heard the whiz of the iron messenger, in the direc- 
 tion of the French camp. But there was nothing 
 in the sound to warn us that that was the last shot 
 destiny permitted to be fired — the last angry accents 
 of the great war of Itahan independencej which was 
 to make Italy free from the Alps to the Adriatic. Is 
 the bitter mockery ended? Our discreet Lombard 
 friends would doubtless answer : " Yedremo.^^
 
 GOING TO THE FRONT. 
 
 |N immense yellow placard, distributed with 
 the profusest liberality over the walls, dead 
 and living, of Genoa, informs the public 
 that, on this very evening, the 2nd of Oc- 
 tober, the flying steamer Veloce departs for Naples, 
 touching for some brief moments at Leghorn. Pro- 
 vided that instant application be made, room may be 
 discovered for two or three more passengers, whose 
 fare (prepaid at the office) will be held forfeited should 
 the payers not present themselves on board by nine 
 o^clock in the evening, at latest — to which hour the 
 vesseFs departure has been postponed, in deference to 
 the convenience of parties arriving from Turin. 
 
 There was an air of headlong haste about the pla- 
 cards themselves, which hung half-secured to the 
 walls, fluttering like quarantine flags. And this, 
 added to the tone of arrogant condescension employed 
 in the announcement, really conveyed an impression 
 that it would be a considerable privilege, if not an 
 actual liberty, to take passage in such a vessel.
 
 Going to the Front. 159 
 
 Further, tlie discovery that the rate of fares was one- 
 fourth higher than common, conjured up visions of 
 luxurious feasting, and berths of down, affording, on 
 the whole, a most desirable opportunity of seeing what 
 Naples and Garibaldi were doing. Where is the office ? 
 Strada Mercolata. Thither, with all speed! 
 
 To my eager questioning, a cool and tranquil clerk 
 responded that it would have become me to apply 
 earlier. 
 
 I submitted that the announcement was only made 
 to-day. 
 
 '^ Pardon. It has been for several days a subject 
 of satisfactory remark in Genoa, that the Veloce would 
 shortly commence running on this line, and, as may 
 
 easily be conceived, every berth Yet, stay — it is 
 
 possible there is one.'^ (Murmured conference with 
 another clerk.) " Just so. Happily, signor, one 
 place is of doubtful occupancy. If the signor is 
 wilHng to become the purchaser of that doubt, all 
 may be well.^^ 
 
 I did so — almost gratefully did so — and with lighter 
 heart quitted the office; a third clerk — who must have 
 been eavesdropping, so completely had he, without 
 being visible, mastered the business, overtook me. 
 
 " If the signor desire to be very comfortable, and 
 at the same time to make sure, I would recommend 
 him to engage the captain's cabin/' said the clerk. 
 
 " The captain's cabin ! Surely the highly-priced 
 accommodation of the Veloce might suffice. But, then, 
 the certainty — let us see. At what price V 
 
 " Twelve francs more." 
 
 Moderate enough. The captain was, no doubt, a
 
 160 Going to the Front. 
 
 hardy seaman, besides being either a most obliging 
 person or else a most disinterested servant of the 
 company. I accepted his offer and his cabin, and at 
 eight o^clock (to be on the safe side) stepped into a 
 boat at the quay. 
 
 The boatmen paddled off — heading, however_, this 
 way and that, with an indecision so foreign to their 
 habits as to make me apprehensive that they might 
 after all bring me alongside too late — until, after an 
 apparently anxious consultation, and much eager scan- 
 ning of the ships in harbour, one of them uttered a 
 satisfied snort. He resumed his oar, and we presently 
 shot between two large merchant vessels, and found 
 ourselves alongside a black object about the size of a 
 Lambeth lighter, over whose bulwark leaned three 
 sooty heads, the lips belonging to which heads crooned 
 a melancholy song. 
 
 Could this be the Veloce ? The steward asserted 
 it as a fact; and the Veloce^ with a soft simmer from 
 her steam-pipe as if in corroboration, announced herself 
 as preparing for the voyage. The tiny deck was richly 
 carpeted with coal-dust. The saloon contained, in all, 
 twelve berths : the remaining space being entirely 
 occupied by a smaU table, upon which the passengers 
 sat, washed, smoked, and dined. As for the luggage, 
 it descended into the hold, which was likewise the 
 coal-bunk. The fragment of a dingy sail rather hinted 
 at than constituted a limit at which coal ended and 
 baggage began. 
 
 I was personally all right, for had I not the captain^s 
 own cabin ; solitude, smokelessness, and the privilege 
 of opening as pleasure a window as big as a piastre ?
 
 Going to the Front. 161 
 
 Inquiring for this refuge^ the steward looked up and 
 down the deck^ as though it might be lying about 
 somewhere, and finally conducted me to a sort of hen- 
 coop, apparently an excrescence from the paddle-box : 
 apologizing for its being for the moment occupied by 
 the captain's portfolio and a pair of sea-boots. 
 
 An apartment with the floor in the form of an in- 
 verted cone is not comfortable, and the difficulty of 
 scrambling into the one berth was increased by there 
 being no sort of foothold on the way. After some 
 cogitation as to how the captain himself achieved it, 
 I could perceive but one feasible method, and tried it. 
 This was to get both feet on the handle of the door, 
 cling firmly to the brass curtain-rod of the berth, 
 throw the body gradually back till it became nearly 
 horizontal, draw one leg into the bed-place, then the 
 other, and finish with one bold jerk. 
 
 The public, for whose especial convenience the 
 Veloce had deferred her departure till nine o'clock, 
 evinced the grossest ingratitude ; for, though we 
 waited till past midnight, not a soul appeared. I was 
 lapsing into slumber, when a sensation as of being 
 collared by an angry Titan, shaken violently, and 
 dashed upon the earth, announced that the huge 
 paddles of the Veloce were in motion directly under 
 my ear. Her engines were in truth of great power, 
 and the vibration throughout the little vessel was 
 fearful ; still it was something to be at length under 
 weigh ; and the stunning effect of a severe contusion 
 on the eye, caught in sneezing, contributed to produce 
 an insensibility which did duty for sleep. 
 
 At Leghorn^ which we reached in less than ten 
 
 M
 
 162 Going to the Front. 
 
 hours, a small body of volunteers (a hundred, I think) 
 presented themselves, requiring passage to Naples. 
 Although the baggage of these gallant fellows, 
 comprised in one small box, was not alarming, the 
 captain was obliged to own that, unless one-half of 
 the volunteers would consent to be lowered down 
 among the luggage and the coals, he could not find 
 room. 
 
 As well as I remember — for this voyage was little 
 other than a coally dream, punctuated with thumps on 
 the head — nothing occurred to vary the monotony, 
 until, on the thu'd morning, when off Gaeta, a large 
 armed steamer stood out, holding a course to cut us 
 off. There was considerable excitement among the 
 Italian passengers, which augmented as the stranger 
 ran up the Neapolitan flag. We hoisted an article 
 about the size of a sheet of writing-paper, whose 
 original three colours had each settled into a different 
 shade of brown. This hieroglyphic appeared to satisfy 
 our inquisitive friend, for, after closing near enough 
 to show that she was of Spanish build, she altered 
 her course, and returned to Gaeta. Perhaps it was 
 well we did not embark the gallant volunteers. 
 
 Vesuvius was yet glowing crimson in the early 
 twihght, when we took boat, and, unquestioned as to 
 passport or baggage (happy change !), rushed away 
 to our hotel. 
 
 " What news, what news, sleepy porter (for there 
 is no one astir but thee) ? Who^s where ? How's 
 everything ? Speak, speak V^ 
 
 The porter intimated that there was nothing of 
 moment — no especial victory — no marked revolution
 
 Going to the Front. 163 
 
 — not many changes of ministry — nothing, in short — 
 that is, since Monday, the great affair. 
 
 " Great affair ! What ?'' 
 
 " Has not the signor heard ? Ah, no, from Genoa ! 
 Yes, a great battle — a true Solferino business — on 
 Monday — ^before Capua. Six thousand prisoners — 
 and guns how many ! Colonel Dunne wounded in 
 number forty- two. ^^ 
 
 " Wounded ! Where V 
 
 " Si, signor — up-stairs — in number forty-two. 
 Garibaldi was everywhere — fought in three places at 
 once — and saved the battle. Column lost its wslj/' 
 &c. &c. 
 
 Two hours later I was in possession of more 
 authentic particulars of this second battle on the 
 Volturno ; knew also that the ex- King still held Capua 
 and Gaeta, and showed no symptom of anything but 
 a dogged resolution to fight to the last. 
 
 While gleaning information in different quarters, a 
 familiar voice greeted me, and a certain colonel, in 
 Garibaldian attire, strode across the street. He was 
 formerly in the Indian cavalry, recently commandant 
 of Garibaldi^s depot at Palermo, and was now attached 
 to the generaPs staff in that character of ^'generally 
 useful '' which seems to indicate the duties of three- 
 fourths of the officers of this remarkable army. He 
 held in his hand a coarse haversack, which contained 
 a book, a boot-jack, and an immense sausage — of true 
 Bologna manufacture, weighing about four pounds. 
 Of the second of these articles the colonel seemed 
 especially proud. 
 
 ^' I venture to say,^^ he observed, flourishing it in 
 M 2
 
 1G4 Goinr/ to the Front. 
 
 tlie street, witli a little ostentation, '^ there^s not a 
 man in the army, from the General downwards, that 
 possesses such a thing ; but it saves your boots im- 
 mensely, in getting them off when wet, without leaving 
 four-fifths of the boot behind. Come out and see the 
 fun. I can give you capital quarters at Caserta, but 
 there^s nothing to eat. This splendid fellow ^^ (swing- 
 ing the sausage) " was to last me four days.^' 
 
 I promised to bring wherewithal to amend the 
 supper, and, having hastily accomplished all I had to 
 do in Naples, drove out with my friend to Caserta. 
 
 The syndic had assigned to him a very roomy 
 residence, near the palace : the property of a gentle- 
 man who was supposed to hold in his possession forty 
 thousand scudi of the royal treasure, and who, declin- 
 ing to give them up for the present national exigency, 
 had been walked off to prison. There was by no 
 means a superfluity of furniture (one sofa, with its 
 spine fractured, two chairs, and a form, comprised the 
 inventory), and of the domestics only two remained 
 to partake the changed fortunes of the mansion. These 
 were, Giuseppe, the steward, aged seventy, and a 
 lady sufficiently stricken in years to have easily been 
 his grandmother. She was totally deaf, and, when 
 accosted, uttered a peculiar shriek, like a feeble war- 
 whoop, whose meaning none but Giuseppe could divine, 
 nor ke distinctly. 
 
 We were joined at supper by an English gentleman, 
 who had just quitted the head- quarters, established in 
 the palace, and brought us information that a battle 
 was expected on the morrow. It was understood that 
 Garibaldi would endeavour to throw a bridge of boats
 
 Going to the Front. 165 
 
 over the Volturno^ near St. Angelo, and as this little 
 arrangement would undoubtedly be opposed by the 
 enemy, who kept jealous watch on the river, it was 
 far from improbable that a general action might ensue. 
 Such tidings gave zest to the Falernian we had brought 
 with us, along with the gigantic sausage and sister 
 delicacies. 
 
 Both the colonel and the English gentleman had 
 been present in the battle of Monday, the 1st of 
 October ; the former in his " generally usefu?^ 
 capacity ; the latter as a simple amateur. 
 
 " It was, I give you my honour,^' said the colonel, 
 " a precious near thing. The fellows had put on red 
 frocks, and rushed upon our outposts, singing out 
 'Viva Garibaldi !^ It so bothered the Sicilians that 
 they ran in at once, scarcely giving us time to get 
 under arms. At one time things looked very shaky. 
 Garibaldi got more excited than is habitual with him, 
 was evidently uneasy, and rushed about from point to 
 point, from battery to battery, on that little jumping 
 Arab of his, as though he knew by inspiration 
 where he was most needed in person. In fact, he 
 saved the battle. It would have been lost but for 
 him. For him and our friend here,^^ concluded our 
 host, gravely. 
 
 " At least, I did not run away,^^ said the modest 
 English gentleman. 
 
 " I did/' said the colonel. " I bolted. We all 
 bolted. We were advancing through the only piece 
 of open ground, towards an almond and mulberry 
 grove, when out burst a couple of hundred cavalry. 
 Away went our boys, helter-skelter as hard as they
 
 166 Going to the Front, 
 
 could go. It was the best thing they could do. 
 There was no time to form square, even if they had 
 ever heard of such a manoeuvre. It was some hun- 
 dred yards to the nearest shelter, — a little ridge, and 
 then a thickish copse. The cavalry followed, and cut 
 down fifteen or twenty. As we neared the ridge, we 
 officers began to call out, '^ Fire ! fire ! Stand, and 
 give fire V and, to do the lads justice, once on the 
 ridge, they rallied fast enough. The cavalry hesitated 
 — Neapolitan cavalry always hesitate — as if they 
 wanted orders. The ridge was nothing. An English 
 hunter would have popped over without looking at it, 
 but the leader dismounted to see what was behind, 
 and that settled the matter. A few shots sent them 
 ofi". '^ But as for our friend here,'^ continued the 
 colonel, '^ since he will not tell you what he did, I wiU. 
 There has been some sneering about ^ amateurs^ — such, 
 at least, as do not swagger about in picturesque cos- 
 tumes, dining at tables d^hote, and talking about ' our^ 
 lines, ^ our^ batteries, &c. — and who might as well be 
 in Norfolk Island for any service they are likely to 
 render. Here is a gentleman in a black coat and a 
 very handsome summer waistcoat, who rendered Italy 
 an essential service in the person of one of her most 
 intrepid generals during an hour of incessant danger. 
 He was poking about, sir, close to the Capua Gate at 
 Santa Maria — that being at the time the most pro- 
 mising spot in the whole field for a ball through the 
 body — when Greneral Milwitz, who commanded there, 
 had his horse killed, and received a contusion in the 
 foot. Our friend here, seeing the general in difficulties, 
 went up and ofiered the support of his arm, which the
 
 Going to the Front. 167 
 
 general accepted, and retained for an hour, under a 
 hot fire. And now, gentlemen, I recommend you to 
 go to bed. We must start at four.^^ 
 
 It was scarcely worth while to undress. We threw 
 ourselves on some extempore beds ; the colonel and I 
 in one large vaulted chamber, our friend in another. 
 I had very little inclination to sleep. Fancy per- 
 petually conjured up the sound of heavy guns, and 
 every distant movement of the town seemed to 
 connect itself with the impending battle. The 
 colonel (to the manner born) slumbered like a happy 
 child. 
 
 About two o^clock I was aroused from an incipient 
 doze by an alarmed voice — that of our friend from 
 the outer room, ejaculating, 
 
 " Colonel !— Colonel ! Hallo \'' 
 
 The colonel was on his feet in a second, instinctively 
 snatching at his sword, and hurried out. There was 
 an anxious murmur, — then : 
 
 " Good Heaven \" said the colonePs voice, " it can- 
 not be. It is inconceivable V 
 
 A night surprise ! — the army annihilated ? — 
 Garibaldi slain ? — Italy again at the foot of her 
 tyrant ? What could have happened ? 
 
 The colonel returned with an agitated step. He 
 set down the lamp and announced : 
 
 "The cat has eaten the chicken, and there^s 
 nothing left for breakfast !" 
 
 A cup of coffee, and the tip of a tongue which the 
 cat had considerately spared, sufficed us, however, 
 and by half-past four we were on our way towards 
 St. Angelo, the scene of expected action. It was a
 
 168 Going to tJie Front. 
 
 lovely tranquil morning, and tlie cloud-wreaths on the 
 mountains rolled slowly up, as thougli raising the 
 curtain upon the majestic drama we had long desired 
 to witness. In Caserta itself, lately crowded, scarcely 
 a soldier was to be seen. Two companies of Pied- 
 montese occupied the square. All besides had been 
 pushed on to the front. Things looked promising. 
 
 As we passed over the ground between Caserta and 
 Santa Maria, described in all the newspapers as 
 having been the scene of such panic and confusion on 
 the eighteenth, the colonel said : 
 
 '^All I know is, that a friend of mine dined that 
 day, in charge of three ladies, on the top of the 
 ancient amphitheatre, where they had a tolerable view 
 of all that passed. My friend was perfectly aware of 
 the state of matters, and saw no reason for either 
 alarm or haste. They finished their dinner, and 
 returned to Caserta at their leisure. If the eminent 
 barrister expected to find, in the rough-and-ready 
 heroes of Milazzo and Calabria, the drill and dis- 
 cipline of a Guards^ parade, he was naturally dis- 
 appointed. As some apology for their shortcomings 
 in formation, these fellows have shown that no regular 
 troops in Europe are fonder of the bayonet, or more 
 apt, when once launched, to charge home." 
 
 At Santa Maria, the colonel received orders to visit 
 the outposts on the centre and left ; and, farther, to 
 ascertain, as minutely as possible, the height of the 
 walls and depth of the ditch of Capua. How this 
 latter little commission was to be efiected was a puzzle 
 to us civilians ; but the colonel took it so much as a 
 matter of course, that we felt but little anxiety for his
 
 Goinr/ to the Front. 169 
 
 personal safety ; certainly before the evening, he had, 
 by some mysterious means, possessed himself of every 
 particular. 
 
 Although heavy guns were heard at intervals from 
 the direction of St. Angelo, we had ascertained by 
 this time that there was to be no battle to-day. A 
 tour of the outposts was the next best thing, as it 
 would make us well acquainted with the ground. 
 
 The first we visited was established on the rail- 
 way running into Capua, whose walls, and the 
 white buildings rising within, were clearly distin- 
 guishable at something less than a mile. This post 
 had been the scene of a painful accident on the 
 previous night, an engine and two carriages having- 
 started ofi" without a driver, and dashed over a party 
 of nine soldiers who were sleeping on the rail. 
 One man had been lying with his head on a com- 
 rade's breast. These two were killed on the 
 spot, and broad Knes of blood upon the sand-bags 
 which made their bed almost marked the attitude in 
 which the poor fellows lay. The remaining seven 
 were fearfully injured : two mortally. But, bad as 
 this was, the mishap must have been infinitely greater 
 but for a little parapet of sand-bags, placed in a bold 
 curve across the line, which threw the engine ofi" the 
 rail and saved the entire picket — three hundred men, 
 who were stretched on the rail but a few paces 
 beyond. 
 
 Passing our sentries, we walked on till within 
 three-quarters of a mile of the town, when prudence 
 whispered '^ Return. '^ This railway formed nearly 
 the left of Garibaldi's position : the thickly-wooded
 
 170 Going to the Front, 
 
 country beyond being occupied in considerable force 
 by the enemy, whose patrols could be seen moving 
 among the trees. 
 
 About this time, the firing towards St. Angelo 
 became somewhat brisker. It is not easy, at first, 
 for the civil mind to accept the assurance that four or 
 five heavy guns a minute mean ^^ nothing particular," 
 and we were not sorry when the course of the colonels 
 duties led us fairly in that direction. 
 
 The post was at a large farm chateau, named Delia 
 Corte, divided only by the high road from the fine bold 
 height of St. Angelo. Here were the three batteries 
 whose deep voices we had heard since morning — one 
 on the road itself, one on the crest of the hill, and 
 another half way down. To these the enemy replied 
 with a like number, and so efiectually as to have 
 rendered it necessary, just before our arrival, to with- 
 di^aw the guns from the battery on the hill-side. 
 
 The chateau was large and comfortable, and, though 
 certain orifices, which were neither doors nor win- 
 dows, reminded us that we were not beyond range, 
 there was very good cover. Here we found several 
 friends : among others Captain Hofiman, an excellent 
 engineer officer, and in high favour with the general. 
 He showed us portions of the bridge that was to 
 have played so prominent a part in the proceedings 
 of the day. But the bridge had broken down. One 
 of the hundred and fifty rustics who had been engaged 
 to assist in its construction had been struck by a frag- 
 ment of a shell, which carried away his jaw. This 
 ghastly wound, coupled with some minor hurts that 
 had been received, created such a panic that the
 
 Going to the Front. 171 
 
 entire body, except four, had disappeared. And little 
 wonder. They were royalists, and their wages five 
 farthings a day. 
 
 Our friend proposed to ascend the hill and have a 
 look at Capua and the positions. The enemy had 
 relaxed their efforts, and now fired, with the most 
 obliging regularity, every quarter of an hour. You 
 had only to glance at your watch and saunter under 
 the most eligible cover. They kept, however, a vigi- 
 lant eye upon the hill, and seemed ready to fire upon 
 a crow, if it should settle there. Ten people had 
 been hit yesterday. The oflB.cer in command would 
 not advise us to ascend. 
 
 The opportunity, however, was too tempting. It 
 was intensely hot. We had to climb the whole dis- 
 tance, and it took us three-quarters of an hour to 
 reach the top, during which nine shells came over us, 
 but too high and wide to afford us even the excitement 
 of danger. The view was magnificent, comprising 
 the whole of our lines and those of the enemy, divided 
 by the Volturno — a river in its general character, at 
 this place, not unlike the Thames at Henley — and 
 Capua, with its frowning walls, its domes and towers, 
 green quiet meadows, and woods of almond and mul- 
 berry, so dense and widely spread as almost to conceal 
 the armies that lay below. 
 
 A little to the right of St. Angelo rises another 
 peak — St. Michaeli — and seeing a small group of per- 
 sons assembled there, we went on. Scarcely had we 
 ascended the height, when Garibaldi himself appeared. 
 He had ridden half-way up the mountain path, and, 
 leaving his horse under cover, came up on foot to
 
 172 Going to the Front. 
 
 Ms favourite look-out station. He was accompanied 
 by Cosenz (Minister of War), Medici, Bixio, Colonel 
 De Ahna (an American engineer officer who had re- 
 cently joined), and three or four others. The hero 
 wore his usual red frock, with a beautiful gold chain, 
 worn like a lady's, a rich silk handkerchief over 
 his shoulders, hanging far down the back, and, in 
 place of his well-known hat, one of Spanish build 
 turned up all round. He looked worn and pale, and 
 also a little out of humour. It would seem that some 
 application he did not relish had been made to him ; 
 in continuance of a conversation he had been holding 
 with one of his stafi*, he said, in his clear, magnificent 
 tones : 
 
 " It is one of the disgraces (disgrazie) of Italy, that 
 she has too many commanders. If I had but three 
 officers, I should escape half the difficulties with which 
 I have to contend. Surely, it is as honourable to 
 fight for Italy with a musket as with a sword. ''' 
 
 The enemy of course had noticed the party, and 
 presently sent a shell so directly over Garibaldi's head, 
 that he looked up and smiled, as though in acknow- 
 ledgment of the accuracy of the aim. The battery 
 was so distant that the smoke could scarcely be seen. 
 
 The general now walked on alone, and remained at 
 some distance, minutely examining the enemy's posi- 
 tions ; then he returned quickly, called out " Acqua ! 
 acqua ! " drank out of one of those singular glass 
 bottles which are about the size of a well-grown 
 child of three or four years old, handed it to his staff, 
 who followed his example, and departed as he had 
 come.
 
 Going to the Front. 173 
 
 As it was pretty clear that nothing of moment was 
 likely to occur immediately, our friend and I returned 
 at night to Naples. On the Tuesday following, how- 
 ever (the ninth October), a message importing the 
 probabiHty of '^ something " on the morrow again 
 enticed us to the front, and again the neighbourhood 
 of St. Angelo was indicated as the theatre of action. 
 During the last three days our lines had been greatly 
 strengthened, and more guns (in all eighteen) were 
 in position ; but no siege artillery had arrived, except- 
 ing a huge old Spanish piece which looked as if it 
 would be more at home in a museum. 
 
 We found things a good deal changed at the Chateau 
 Delia Corte. A portion of it had been burned down, 
 and the remainder so pounded by the enemy, that our 
 friends had been compelled to abandon their comfort- 
 able apartments, and take refuge in the little chapel 
 (attached) in the rear of the house. 
 
 A shell had entered the chamber of Captain Hoff- 
 man, in which he. Colonel De Ahna, and two Italian 
 officers were sleeping. Passing over Hoffmanns head, 
 it bounded under the boards which formed the bed of 
 the Italians, and exploded there, killing one and dan- 
 gerously wounding the other. The room itself was 
 not the picture of neatness. A number of other men 
 had been killed and wounded in and about the build- 
 ing ; and the batteries on the road and hill, under the 
 direction of Colonel Dowling, chief of the artillery, 
 an old Crimean officer, were at this moment endea- 
 vouring to divert the attention of the enemy. 
 
 My colonel, who knew the colonel, proposed that 
 we should pay him a visit in his battery, eacli taking
 
 174 Going to the Front. 
 
 in his hand a bottle of Falernian, to refresh the war- 
 riors. On chmbing to the spot^ we were informed 
 that he had gone down to visit his guns in the road. 
 Fate had apparently ordained that I should shed a 
 little blood in the cause of Italy, for, in the act of 
 quitting the battery, I slipped, fell, and, smashing my 
 bottle on the rock, lacerated my hand so severely as 
 to be obliged to go to the ambulance for assistance. 
 
 Close by, there stood a little locanda, and hither^ 
 presently, came many of those engaged about this 
 part of the line, to see what refreshment might be 
 had. It was a strange assemblage, as various in lan- 
 guage as in rank and costume — French, English, 
 Germans, Swedes, and Scotchmen — a cook, a general, 
 a doctor, a runaway apprentice, and an Indian veteran. 
 Grades and business are very indefinite in Garibaldi^ s 
 army. 
 
 '^ What is your position here, sir, may I be per- 
 mitted to ask ? '' inquired a little man who was poking 
 about in the crowd, of my colonel. His face bore such 
 a look of innocent inquiry that my colonel could not 
 resent the impertinence. 
 
 " I give yon my honour I don^t know,^^ said he. 
 '^ When there^s fighting, I fight. When I receive 
 orders, I execute them. I^m on the staff, I take it. 
 At least the general thinks so. I have some indis- 
 tinct impression that my rank is colonel. I get my 
 two francs a day, like everybody else, and it pays for 
 my tobacco. ^^ 
 
 '^ What is yotir position, colonel, may I be allowed 
 to inquire ? '^ asked the little man, presently, sidling 
 up to Colonel Dowling.
 
 Goinrj to the Front. 175 
 
 " Now_, if you'll believe me, I havenH the remotest 
 conception/' replied that ojQ&cer, who was hacking 
 away at a lump^ of hard beef, placed upon a harder 
 loaf, by way of platter. '^ Somebody mentioned that 
 I was inspector-general of artillery. I haven't heard 
 of anybody above me in that department, and I 
 haven't had time to look out for those below. Major 
 G constructs the batteries, and I find the guns." 
 
 '' And the men ? " 
 
 ^' I don't know precisely how I get the men. I 
 always find a lot of chaps about me, and soon know 
 whom to select. I lost my best man to-day, poor 
 fellow. But here's a lad worth any two that are 
 left." 
 
 He pointed to an individual in a yellow stable-jacket 
 and overalls. He was a livery-stable keeper in Naples. 
 He had never seen a shot fired until the battle of the 
 first of October, when, being accidentally present, he 
 took such a fancy to the " sport of princes " that he 
 could not find it in his heart to quit the playground 
 again. His great delight was a battery. He liked 
 plenty of noise, and attached himself especially to 
 Colonel Dowling's big thirty-twos : proving himself 
 not only perfectly cool and self-possessed, but a very 
 skilful and efficient gunner. There was a sad paucity 
 of artillerymen, and such a hand was highly appre- 
 ciated. A day or two before, the officer commanding 
 a battery on the left, which had lost several men, had 
 applied to him for assistance, adding, ^' And for God's 
 sake, send one Englishman." 
 
 " Now, come with me and see some shooting," said 
 Colonel Dowling, who had finished his bone ; '' I am
 
 176 Going to the Front. 
 
 going to knock that battery out of time before 
 dusk." 
 
 Down we went_, to wliere,, about two kundred yards 
 beyond the farm^ the colonel had established his pet 
 battery^ which consisted simply of two huge field 
 pieces placed on the bare high road, at right angles 
 to it_, without parapet or breastwork, except the bank, 
 about four feet high, that lined the road. On the 
 other side of the bank, the ground dipped, and then 
 came a thick almond and pine copse, through the 
 tops of which our guns fired. 
 
 The enemy^s work was on the other side of the 
 wood, on a slight acclivity distant three-quarters of a 
 mile, but, from our propinquity to the trees, wholly 
 invisible to us, as we were to them. Our guns were 
 pointed and elevated in accordance with the directions 
 of Colonel Dowling and of an officer of Scotch family 
 in Garibaldi^s service, named Cowper, w^ho stood on 
 the higher bank in rear of the guns. 
 
 The enemy replied at once, and with a precision 
 one could not too strongly commend or deprecate. 
 Shot, shell, and grenade came in quick succession ; but 
 though some fell in the short space between us and 
 the trees, and more went over and sent up clouds of 
 dust from the bank behind, nothing touched the road. 
 There -were some remains of a stone hovel or pig- sty 
 (it might have been once the residence of some boor 
 of distinction) in our rear, round the angles of which 
 a group of soldiers were huddling. At first, I was 
 inclined to envy their position, but the veteran, my 
 colonel, telling us that the bank, low as it was, offered 
 better cover, we stood between the guns, and were 
 deafened.
 
 Golnrj to the Front. 177 
 
 For nearly an hour — that is^ as long as the coloneFs 
 ammunition held out — the noise and hubbub were 
 tremendous. It was his theory that a rapid fire de- 
 ranges the nerves of the enemy, and renders their 
 return less telling. 
 
 " Bang— bang ! '' " A^^iz ! '' '' Terra ! terra ! '' (to 
 lie down). " Carica con palle ^^ (charge with ball). 
 " Con grenata ! '' (with grenade). '' Bang ! " '' Whiz V 
 " Acqua ! acqua ! ^^ (water, to sponge out) . " Terra ! ^^ 
 'Tuoco! Fuoco!'' (fire). 
 
 " Don^t lie down ! " Cowper called out, skipping 
 about in his eager excitement. " Never mind.^^ 
 
 " But I do mind/'' said Colonel Dowling (as brave 
 a man as ever breathed), quietly lying down with the 
 rest. " Think of my guns.-'^ 
 
 Besides these sounds, in which the elements, earth, 
 fire, and water, were mixed up in a manner a little 
 puzzling, there was considerable shouting whenever 
 one of our missiles entered the enemy^s works. But, 
 in spite of all efibrts, and a fire so rapid as to heat the 
 guns almost to danger, the foe would not be silenced 
 until our ammunition failed, when they ceased also. 
 
 A few minutes later we took leave of our friends 
 and returned towards St. Angelo. When we imagined 
 ourselves quite out of range, a shell from a battery 
 on the Capua side exploded close beside us. I picked 
 up a hot fragment, as a reminiscence of my first day 
 under fire.
 
 WAITING FOR CAPn. 
 
 iHIRTY-FOUH days, and little Capua is 
 still coquetting with her persevering, if 
 not too pressing suitors ; now affecting to 
 sleep, but ever keeping open one bright, 
 vigilant eye ; now closing her lips for days, only to 
 startle the echoes of the Campagna Fehce with accents 
 that would outscold Xantippe ; keeping us the be- 
 siegers (to be plain) in a state of excitement and 
 watchfulness that goes near to render the siege, which 
 has hitherto been a pleasure, a scarcely mitigated 
 bore. What does the little vixen mean ? Well she 
 knows that her intrepid lover, Giuseppe of the vic- 
 torious hand, is indeed the soldier of humanity, and 
 that, though one houi'^s wooing with his mortars 
 might bring her to his feet, she is safe from that 
 stern summons. 
 
 Waiting for something to fall that miist fall, whe- 
 ther it be tree, or city, or considerable landed estate, 
 has the invariable effect of clogging the wheel of 
 time j it accordingly seems about two years since
 
 Waiting for Capua. 1 79 
 
 Capua, one fine October morning, adventured a sortie, 
 and threw Naples herself into a flutter : when Giu- 
 seppe Garibaldi appeared, and, with his own hand, 
 flung her back, clipping her tail feathers as she flew. 
 
 Since that memorable epoch, we have been gradu- 
 ally fortifying against such another little alarm, which 
 caused a most wanton sacrifice of tricoloured flags 
 and nascent opinions of freedom, and beguiled persons 
 of courtly leanings into indiscreet prophecies not 
 justified by the event. I think it must have been 
 about fourteen months ago that we placed another 
 twelve-pounder in position. It appears to have been 
 many weeks subsequent to this, that a new battery 
 was marked out, though not absolutely begun. Within 
 more recent recollection, two boats, out of the twenty 
 required to bridge the Yoltumo, were noticed in a 
 backward state of unpreparation. And lastly — quite 
 lately indeed — a Piedmontese soldier was clearly dis- 
 tinguishable on the slopes of distant Teano. Things 
 are coming to a crisis. It will be weU to take up a 
 position near the front, say at Santa Maria, and with 
 an occasional glance at Naples when there is nothing 
 doing, hold ourselves in readiness for anything that 
 may occur. And, judging from our own note-book, 
 we are in excellent season. 
 
 Oct. 13. The enemy did a little firing at our silent 
 batteries, but could not draw them into argument. 
 They fired with great precision, but, our people being 
 under shelter, one only was touched — shot through 
 the arm. The enemy apparently massing troops on 
 the right and left, their patrols and videttes being 
 plainly visible. A traitor on our side, last night, 
 
 N 2
 
 180 Waiting for Capua. 
 
 found means to plant a long rod or wand in rear of 
 Dowling's guns, concealed on the road at St. lorio, 
 so that their position might be visible to the enemy 
 on the opposite hill. A quantity of ammunition was 
 also scattered in the ditch. St. Dashes report of the 
 day informs the general that " appearances in general 
 indicate an attack. ^^ 
 
 Oct. 14. The long-expected English battalion arrived 
 in two steamers, after a protracted voyage, seven 
 hundred and eighty strong ; but were not permitted 
 to land, either because nothing was ready for them, 
 or (politer explanation) that the authorities desired to 
 afford time for the people to get up an ovation. 
 
 Oct. 15. Last night the enemy walked off with an 
 entire picket, an officer and sixteen men. Very early 
 in the morning, two battalions of riflemen came out, 
 and. attacked a position near St. Angelo, hitherto 
 occupied by the division Medici. These had, however, 
 been withdrawn, and the enemy found himself in con- 
 tact with the flower of the Piedmontese army — the 
 Bersaglieri — who speedily drove them off, taking- 
 twenty prisoners. 
 
 Our friend St. Dash had a narrow escape to-day. 
 He had stopped to speak to General Corti, and was in 
 the act of turning away, when a large fragment of 
 shell struck the generaPs horse on the head. The 
 poor animal's jaw hung down, and he span wildly 
 round and round, upsetting the rider — who was happily 
 untouched. Had the conversation lasted a moment 
 longer, St. Dash could hardly have escaped. 
 
 The English battalion disembarked to-day, half- 
 stunned with applause, and half-suffocated with
 
 Waiting for Capua. 181 
 
 flowers — a fine body of half- drilled fellows, with 
 rather insubordinate-looking faces, and a decidedly 
 hungry expression in their eyes. No wonder. On 
 board of one of the vessels, they had been reduced, 
 for the last three days, to biscuit and salt butter. 
 Some unfortunate mal-arrangement has already begun 
 to betray itself, in dissensions among the ofiicers ; and 
 the most popular among them, he to whose exertions 
 such efficiency as the regiment could boast was really 
 due, had scarcely set foot on shore when he was 
 placed under arrest. Although the regiment had 
 been expected for a fortnight, and had been actually 
 in harbour twenty-four hours, no rations were pre- 
 pared for the famished men. After being marched to 
 barracks, they were turned loose upon the town : 
 such as had money being left to provide themselves ; 
 such as had not, receiving about fourpence — with 
 which, ignorant of the language and the price and 
 character of food, they were expected to purchase a 
 meal. 
 
 From causes not here pretended to be analysed, 
 certain it is that Fortune has rarely smiled upon those 
 mihtary expeditions in which Englishmen array them- 
 selves under the banners of a foreign power. Some 
 tincture of disrepute invariably attaches to them. 
 Viewed with disfavour at home, the noble fortitude 
 and courage which is inseparable from banded Eng- 
 lishmen have often proved powerless to redeem the 
 bad fortune which has attended their career. 
 
 Oct. 16. Little or no firing to-day, but constant 
 movement of the enemy^s troops, keeping us on the 
 alert. The English regiment pushed on to Caserta,
 
 182 Waiting for Capua. 
 
 where they were inspected and addressed by their 
 gallant colonel (Peard) ; also by the Countess de la 
 Torre, who wore a very pretty dress_, difficult to de- 
 scribe — but there were trousers in it — a light, and 
 perhaps serviceable, sabre, and a few pistols. Her 
 speech was as concise as one of Suwarrow^s bulletins : 
 
 '^ Inglis ! I am whiz you always/' 
 
 Let us hope the lady will not adhere too closely to 
 this pledge. The battalion has evidently yet to learn 
 discipline : a fault which might lead their constant 
 associate into positions of difficulty. 
 
 Loud cheers followed the little address above men- 
 tioned, and these were redoubled on the arrival, a few 
 minutes later, of a large hamper of excellent wine : 
 a gift from the lady. But, alas for popularity ! no 
 sooner did it become known that the rosy stream was 
 to flow for the officers alone, than the enthusiasm 
 sank to zero. Hoarse murmurs succeeded, and 
 
 " What the (Hades) does this Countess Toarey mean 
 by humbuggin' us ? '^ growled the mouthpiece of com- 
 pany No. 1. 
 
 Nevertheless, honour to the Countess de la Torre, 
 whose generous eflPorts on behalf of the wounded can- 
 not be too highly commended. 
 
 Oct. 17. While at breakfast, two heavy guns, fol- 
 lowed by a smart fusillade, the latter close at hand, 
 caused us to hurry into the street. On reaching the 
 ruins of the amphitheatre we found a portion of the 
 British regiment stationed in the square, while the 
 officers were doing their utmost to recal two com- 
 panies, who had sallied forth on their own account 
 into the adjacent wood^ and, under the very noses of
 
 Waiting for Cajma. 183 
 
 tlie enemy, were trying their new rifles against the 
 thrushes and tomtits ! The fire was well sustained, 
 the men having received forty rounds of rifle ammuni- 
 tion each. Garibaldi sent an aide-de-camp at full 
 speed to learn the meaning of the fire ; but it was 
 not until one unfortunate Piedmontese soldier on out- 
 post duty had been shot dead by a glancing ball, that 
 the stragglers were reassembled, coming in like sulky 
 children, half inclined to rebel. 
 
 " What do these fellows mean by going on in this 
 way without orders ? '' said an English gentleman, 
 standing near. 
 
 " What do you mean by '^ fellows V '' retorted one 
 of the legionaires. '' That man^s father '' (pointing 
 to a comrade) '^is worth two thousand a year ! '' 
 
 Went with Colonel D^ Anonymous and General 
 Wheat (an American officer of some distinction, who 
 has brought to Garibaldi a cannon of his own inven- 
 tion) to examine a new battery at St. Angelo — de- 
 signed to cover the passage of the river. 
 
 To-night, an alarm : a distant bugle sounded the 
 assembly, others took it up, then the drums. The 
 transition from the most profound quiet to universal 
 bustle was striking enough to the uninitiated. The 
 night was intensely dark, as we groped our way to- 
 wards the Capua gate, passing the troops hastily col- 
 lecting in the square. The artillery horses were already 
 out and harnessed, but not yet attached to the guns. 
 At the gate everybody was on the alert, listening and 
 forming conjectures. No firing was to be heard, but 
 we learned that before our arrival some rifle-shots had 
 been heard at the outposts. Presently a general.
 
 184 Waiting /or Cajyua, 
 
 whose face we could not recognise in the gloom^ gal- 
 loped up, attended by his aides and orderlies,, and 
 was informed that one of our patrols had seen a large 
 body of the enemy moving in the Avood, and had heard 
 the bugles of a corjjs cV elite, rarely employed but when 
 the enemy are in ep^rnest. Nothing, however, came of 
 it ; and, after waiting under arms for an hour, the 
 troops were dismissed. 
 
 Oct. 19th. The English regiments were in motion to- 
 day about eleven a.m. They occupied a farmhouse at 
 the outpost ; the enemy lay in a rival farm and ad- 
 jacent fields, bounded by thick hedges. One company 
 of the English advanced, skirmishing, supported by 
 two others; the Piedmontese on their left; Captain 
 Cowper, with four guns, in their rear, in readiness for 
 contingencies. The men behaved admirably, driving 
 the enemy from the fields and house, but having little 
 conception of cover, sufi'ered some loss — among 
 others, Mr. Tucker, a gentleman well known and 
 highly esteemed. An officer who was within a pace 
 or two of him when he fell, told me he was without 
 arms, and had just quitted the cover of a tree, with 
 his hands clasped behind him — his favourite attitude 
 — when a ball struck him on the forehead, and he sank 
 forward a corpse, with his hands still clasped behind 
 him. 
 
 Oct. 20. After breakfast drove to St. Angelo; hardly 
 a soldier to be seen. Surprised at this unusual tran- 
 quillity, we went on to the post at St. lorio, where the 
 officer in command informed St. Dash that he was in 
 treaty with the enemy ! An entire battalion had 
 signified their wish to come across the river to-night.
 
 Waiting for Capua. 185 
 
 How to contrive their passage was tlie difficulty. The 
 river at this point is a hundred and twenty feet wide, 
 and thirty deep, with very precipitous banks. No 
 boat was to be had, but a rope might perhaps be got 
 across, by help of which such as dared might venture. 
 
 As a gun of ours was at this time sending an occa- 
 sional shell over our heads at the enemy, and alarming 
 the country people, who were the medium of this little 
 negotiation, St. Dash sent an orderly with a request 
 to suspend the firing, and we then walked down the 
 hitherto perilous road to the bank, when sevei-al of the 
 enemy advanced, without arms, and making signs of 
 ^' amicizia,^^ while they strove to make us further com- 
 prehend that their own sentries formed the principal 
 obstacle. The plan did not succeed. No sooner 
 had the preliminaries commenced, after dark, than a 
 shower of rifle-shots convinced our people of its im- 
 practicability. 
 
 Oct. 23. Nothing of interest, in front, excepting the 
 removal of almost all the Sardinian troops to Madda- 
 loni, leaving Capua in charge of the Garibaldians. The 
 exaggerated credit given to the former for the share 
 they had in the action of the first of October (pur- 
 posely exaggerated, because it was held politic, pend- 
 ing the vote of annexation, to show how essential was 
 Sardinian military aid), has given much umbrage to 
 the Ganbaldini ; to lessen which the place of honour 
 has been conceded to them. 
 
 A curious camp incident ; which it is not law for a 
 civihan to criticise ; he may merely record it as un- 
 questionable fact. 
 
 The intrepid leader of the English battalion aroused
 
 186 Waiting for Gaj)ua. 
 
 his men about midnight,, and announced to them his 
 intention of taking Capua at once. Three guides 
 had been provided^ and fifty men more told oflT, to lead 
 the way. How the walls were to be scaled and the 
 ditch crossed^ nobody knew ; certainly no means were 
 furnished for these little preliminaries. Somewhat 
 staggered at the manifest hopelessness of such an at- 
 tempt^ the officers held a hasty consultation, and three 
 of their number waited upon the general of their 
 division, Medici, requesting his opinion. The general 
 declined absolutely to countermand the movement, but 
 contented himself with declaring that he would have 
 nothing to do with so mad a scheme. In the mean 
 time the colonel had gone forward with twenty men, 
 halting once to send back for fifty more, and again for 
 a hundred more. With most of these he arrived 
 within a stone^s throw of Capua : having, by the way, 
 laid open the skull of one of the guides for having, as 
 he said, misled them. Here he lay perdu till near 
 dawn, when it became advisable to retire. On the fol- 
 lowing day, fifty men quitted his reg-iment, and formed 
 themselves into an artillery company under Colonel 
 Dowling. 
 
 Oct. 25. Eeturned from Naples this morning, taking 
 two friends and the sister of one of them, who was 
 going to visit the wounded English. At Caserta we 
 found that Garibaldi had shifted his head-quarters to 
 Santa Maria. Nearly all the troops gone forward, and 
 strong reports of an action near St. Angelo. Aides- 
 de-camp had been sent out to investigate, but none 
 had returned. Advised not to take ladies any further 
 — a warning which of com'se induced the ladies of our
 
 Waiting for Capua. 187 
 
 party to insist on being taken at least as far as Santa 
 Maria. Nothing occurred_, except that Garibaldi 
 crossed the river on a bridge of boats^ to join Victor 
 Emmanuel. 
 
 A deserter was smuggled out of Capua_, in what was 
 carelessly described as a " tea-kettle y' probably one 
 of the large coppers in which the soldiers^ soup is 
 made. He reported that but two weak battalions are 
 left in the town. 
 
 Oct. 27. Aloud explosion in Capua aroused us in the 
 night ' — a magazine, or possibly blowing up some of 
 the stores,, before surrender. 
 
 Left, at seven a.m., for St. Angelo. Some heavy 
 firing on the left, chiefly from the city. All the troops 
 under arms on either side of the road — a very ani- 
 mated spectacle. The fire increased, everything indi- 
 cating a serious action. St. Dash rubbed his hands 
 with delight. The coachman showing symptoms of 
 discomfort, we abandoned our chariot, and proceeded 
 across the fields ; climbing to the top of a shattered 
 farm, we saw what was passing. A strong column had 
 left Capua by the Santa Maria gate, had driven in our 
 outposts, and occupied several of our farms. The 
 heavy guns covering their advance shelled one of 
 these houses so severely that a Calabrese battalion 
 which occupied it retired without the ceremony of 
 waiting for orders. In consequence of this, other 
 posts had to be withdrawn also, until the troops hastily 
 collected from St. Angelo recovered the lost positions. 
 This operation cost a considerable amount of gun- 
 powder, but very httle life : the enemy falling back 
 almost immediately.
 
 188 Waiting for Capua. 
 
 Another strange incident, in connection with the 
 English battalion, occurred this morning, some leagues 
 from hence. Doubtless it will be related with the usual 
 exaggerations and inaccuracies. I note it down from 
 the perfectly coincident statements of two eye- 
 witnesses — acquaintances of my own, both formerly 
 in her Majesty's service. It seems that the regi- 
 ment, owing to some mismanagement, had received 
 no other rations, while on the march with Garibaldi, 
 than two biscuits a day. Murmuring and straggling 
 were the consequences ; and on this, the third day of 
 such frugal fare, complaints had been made of plunder ; 
 the country-people alleging that a Piedmontese officer 
 who had interposed to protect a farm-house had been 
 fired upon by the British pilferers. It was even 
 affirmed that a priest had been murdered by them. 
 Grave doubts existed as to these last charges, but, 
 ■ like most circumstantial fibs well told, they obtained 
 a certain degree of credence. It was at this unlucky 
 moment that the priest who alwa^'S accompanies 
 Garibaldi, appeared, bringing five English soldiers 
 prisoners, escorted by a party of the genera? s foot- 
 lancers, and bearing a verbal request from him that 
 the colonel should deal with them according to their 
 deserts. Whether the colonel understood Garibaldi^s 
 message in its severest sense, or whether a certain 
 decree of excitement under which he had been labour- 
 ing, clouded his calmer judgment, cannot be known. 
 The course he adopted was to address the culprits as 
 follows : — 
 
 '^ You are ruffianly thieves, and have brought dis- 
 grace upon the British name. The general desires
 
 Waiting for Capua. 189 
 
 tliat I should punisti you as you deserve. You will 
 now be shot.'' 
 
 As might be expected, there was an universal move- 
 ment. The men who were sitting round their camp- 
 fires started up and gathered about the prisoners in a 
 disorderly crowd. Some few caught up their arms 
 with meaning looks. The prisoners themselves offered 
 some agitated remonstrance ; one vowing he had only 
 taken a fowl, and had offered payment for that ; another 
 speaking of his wife and children. The colonel replied 
 by ordering two men from each company to form the 
 firing party. Mr. D. now stepped forward, and, in the 
 character of an old Sicilian comrade and friend, begged 
 the colonel to consider the responsibility he was in- 
 curring, in taking the lives of these five men without 
 even the form of trial. 
 
 '^ You do not belong to the regiment, sir,^^ was the 
 reply, " and I cannot permit you to interfere.^^ 
 
 By this time the battalion was in a state of open 
 mutiny. It being evident that the order to execute 
 the men would not be obeyed, the colonel sent a 
 hasty report to Garibaldi of the state of affairs, and 
 demanded instructions. 
 
 " Shoot tv:o of them," responded the chief. 
 
 This was found equally impracticable, and another 
 message was sent, requesting that an Italian regiment 
 might be marched to the spot, to execute the sen- 
 tence. 
 
 " I cannot," returned Garibaldi, '' allow any Eng- 
 lish soldier to suffer the disgrace of being executed by 
 any hands but those of his own countrymen. Let the 
 men be pardoned."
 
 190 Waiting for Ccqnia. 
 
 They were reserved^ however, for trial, and probably 
 for some minor penalty. Thus ended this painful 
 scene ; one of the strangest features of which was, 
 that he whose sudden severity had nearly provoked a 
 dangerous outbreak, is ordinarily no less thoughtful 
 and humane than he is brave. 
 
 Oct. 29. To-day, a little battle. Firing began, 
 very coaxingly, just as we were considering how to 
 pass the day. Obtained a new pass from General 
 Milwitz — having lost my own — and drove out, picking 
 up Generals Wheat and Jackson, who had been unable 
 to procure horses. A good deal of firing from the 
 town, and a small roll of musketry all along the left of 
 our line. Leaving the carriage on the road, we cut 
 across the fields towards the '' scrimmage,^' meeting 
 many wounded, being borne away. An aide-de-camp 
 galloped past from the front, and a minute or two later 
 our carriage came tearing over the cross-roads at 
 frantic speed, urged on by the aide-de-camp, pistol in 
 hand ! Our driver made helpless signs to us, inti- 
 mating that he would return, if he could ; and we were 
 speculating as to what superior officer had been hit — 
 fearing it might be General Avezzano, who was in 
 command in front, and to whom we were bound — when 
 the carriage returned, bringing Colonel Fabrizzi, of the 
 general staff, fearfully wounded by a shell in the thigh, 
 arm, and head. Proceeding onward, we found the 
 brave old general, Avezzano, where, of course, he had 
 no business to be — among his skirmishers — doing the 
 duty of a captain, because he did not choose to con- 
 fide it to another. After a few minutes here, we sat 
 down in the centre of a Calabrese battalion who were
 
 Waiting for Capua. 191 
 
 sheltered from the enemy's fire by the crest of a little 
 hill. Round its base swept a dry watercourse^ leading 
 direct from the enemy's position, and down which_, if 
 the attack was pressed, they were expected to come. 
 An hour passed, the firing died away, and again we 
 returned home disappointed. 
 
 Oct. 30. Heavy firing from Capua kept the troops 
 on the alert. Walked out alone to St. Angelo, and, 
 from the Sand-bag Battery, witnessed a smart little 
 action. The day was bright and still, and the atmo- 
 sphere so clear, that not a puff of the rifle-smoke nor 
 the ghsten of a bayonet was lost. A large body of the 
 enemy suddenly issued from the town, and, moving in 
 loose order across the open ground, occupied a num- 
 ber of rifle-pits they have dug, and from thence opened 
 a well-sustained fire on our people lining the wood. 
 The movement was covered by a heavy fire from the 
 works : the shells dropping into the wood, and the 
 nearest farm-buildings, with an accuracy to which the 
 number of wounded brought to the rear soon bore 
 witness. In about half an hour, a second body came 
 out. These were followed by two squadrons of cavalry, 
 who, keeping well out of fire, manoeuvred on their rear 
 and right; their object being apparently to guard 
 against a rush upon the rifle-pits. Our line was 
 strongly reinforced, and extended to the left ; but no 
 closer conflict took place, and in a couple of hours the 
 enemy retired. 
 
 Those extraordinary troops — the Calabresi — who 
 sometimes fight like lions, and sometimes act like 
 curs, to-day had a fit of the latter propensity. An 
 officer told me, that of seven hundred men who were
 
 192 Waiting for Capua. 
 
 ordered forward, only one hundred could be brought 
 to the scratch. 
 
 Oct. 31. In great expectation that the bombard- 
 ment would commence to-day. It proved, on the 
 contrary, to be the quietest day we have had for some 
 time. The town is now completely invested; the 
 Sardinians having pressed their approaches within 
 range, on the opposite side, and our batteries, on this, 
 only awaiting the signal. Garibaldi, who never made 
 an ofiensive moment (unless the unopposed passage 
 the Volturno could be so regarded) after the arrival of 
 of the Piedmontese, has resigned the command to 
 Sirtori. 
 
 Nov. 1. Drove out with a friend to the Bridge of St. 
 lorio ; leaving the carriage, we crossed over, ascended 
 the hill, Jerusalem, and visited the four-gun battery of 
 the enemy, with which we had fought an unsuccessful 
 duel on the tenth of October. Eeturning to St. lorio, 
 we encountered St. Dash and Cowper. The latter pro- 
 posed to us to go down and visit a new mortar-battery 
 established about six hundred yards from the walls in 
 readiness to begin. As all seemed quiet, and it was 
 now nearly four o^clock, the idea of a bombardment 
 to-day grew fainter ; we therefore strolled down to the 
 spot, and found what Cowper described as a remark- 
 ably pretty work — the most alluring part of which was 
 certainly, a little bomb-proof bower, into whose re- 
 cesses it was not, however, permissible to enter. It 
 was, in effect, the magazine. A great mamma-raortar, 
 and a little daughter-mortar with a movable chin, 
 together with a twenty-four pounder, comprised the 
 armament; an enormous grandmamma mortar, drawn
 
 Waiting for Capua. 193 
 
 by sixteen oxen^ having sunk down helpless in the 
 adjoining field. Owing to the height of the sand-bao- 
 parapet^ and the surrounding trees^ the city was wholly 
 invisible ; but a couple of steel rods placed on the 
 parapet were supposed to be in a direct line between 
 the mortar's mouth and the cross on the Cathedral. 
 
 Being thus near the walls, a fancy seized a member 
 of our party to advance still nearer. Accordingly, 
 availing ourselves of what shelter we could, we crept 
 gradually forward, until we were almost within speak- 
 ing distance of the enemy, whose artillerymen lined 
 the ramparts in crowds. A few paces beyond the last 
 trees there was a small shed, with a roof, but no walls ; 
 and this commanded so complete a view, that, trusting 
 to the politeness of our friends on the wall, we ven- 
 tured thus far, and were calmly using our opera-glasses 
 when Cowper's experienced eye detected a quiet 
 movement, and we became aware that a gun was 
 revolving silently in our direction. 
 
 It was useless to walk away, and it is not held 
 pretty to run. We had to stand our ground, come 
 what might. It came — a shell — well enough aimed in 
 point of distance, but too much to the left, my friends! 
 "We dropped, and the fragments whistled among the 
 trees. As we moved oflP, they sent us a present of 
 grape, with no better effect. Scarcely had we set foot 
 once more in the mortar-battery, than up went a signal 
 from the hill of St. Angelo, whither King Victor Em- 
 manuel had " come to see," and whiz ! went from our 
 battery the first bomb against Capua. Quick as 
 lightning, the enemy returned it with a splendid shot 
 from a gun that had probably been laid for hours 
 
 o
 
 194 Waiting for Capua. 
 
 waiting to reply. The shell passed close to my friend's 
 head, who had climbed up to peep over the parapet ; 
 went between a horse's legs ; and exploded in the rear 
 of the work_, without mischief. The thundering now 
 became incessant. We had five batteries at work ; 
 the Sardinians three ; while the city, firing from three 
 faces, beat us all to nothing in rapidity and skill. 
 
 A poor sergeant in our battery was hit on the left 
 side by a large fragment of shell that passed nearly 
 through his body. 
 
 '^ Ahi, signor capitano ! son morto/' he gasped out 
 to Cowper, who stood upon the parapet, watching the 
 efiect of our shells. 
 
 Cowper leaped to the ground and crammed two 
 handkerchiefs into the frightful wound ; but the poor 
 fellow died as he was borne away. 
 
 Returning from the hill of St. Angelo, whence we 
 witnessed the remainder of the contest, we learned that 
 the entire loss was only five killed and twenty wounded. 
 One of our batteries had received no less than forty 
 shots, and was entirely silenced. The advantage, in 
 fact, had all been on the side of our antagonists, who 
 had sustained little or no damage. On the following 
 morning Capua, admitting that we were too much for 
 her, hung out the white flag, and sent out nine thou- 
 sand men to deposit their glittering arms upon the 
 glacis. 
 
 They did not seem unhappy.
 
 ITALY IN THE LEASH. 
 
 HERE are tlie soldiers, and where are tlie 
 labourers V a, stranger who had fallen 
 behind the march of public events might 
 inquire, as he travels in Italy in June, 
 " sixty-six. ■'' Scarcely a soldier is to be seen, and, if 
 one does occasionally attract the eye, he dodges across 
 the way, and like a rabbit who has had some narrow 
 escapes in the foray that destroyed his friends, is gone 
 like a dream. So, too, in the rich abundant fields, 
 heavy with harvest promise, and, in many cases, ripe 
 for scythe and sickle, not a soul stands ready to gather 
 in the fruits, and only here and there, some decrepit 
 house-father, or a couple of sun-burned wenches, move 
 about, looking almost ludicrously inadequate to the 
 agricultural tasks that seem to have devolved upon 
 them. 
 
 The strife once begun, doubtless hands of some sex 
 or age will be found for these needful duties. In the 
 mean time, that shade of possibility which, up to this 
 very hour of writing — June the fifteenth — has not 
 
 o 2
 
 196 Italy in the Leash. 
 
 ceased to exist, that war may be averted — lias perhaps 
 counselled a little delay. 
 
 To reoiain in seetliin^^ Turin is simply impossible. 
 True, that rather slumbrous city has shaken ofi' its 
 lethargic ways, and seems to have registered a vow 
 never to retire to bed again until victory and Venice 
 are won. 
 
 '^ Sorgi, o popolo Latino — sorgi, e vinci I " sings 
 Angelo BrofFerio, through a hundred throats, in every 
 place of popular assembly ; and the Latin people have 
 literally obeyed the exhortation. Yes, literally ; for, 
 if they have not yet overcome the intrusive German, 
 whom, after a hundred and forty years, it is still 
 pleasant to call " stranger,^' they have conquered that 
 stranger^s best allies, their own listlessness, apathy, 
 and disunion. Let party politicians say what they 
 will, the fact remains that the world has rarely witnessed 
 a more heart- stirring spectacle than that now presented 
 by a country but recently pronounced — perhaps 
 believed — by statesmen to be unworthy of a place 
 among the greater peoples of Europe. So young in 
 freedom, not even yet emancipated from galling influ- 
 ences, nor rid of foes within, what has she not already 
 effected ? 
 
 Turin is in a fever, and, like other patients in a 
 similar condition, is not coherent, nor reliable in her 
 observations. She invents, and then feeds upon, the 
 most extraordinary fancies. After repeated undecep- 
 tions, it seems desirable that any individual interested 
 in ascertaining the truth should proceed something 
 nearer to ihe theatre of expected events, and judge for 
 himself. And, now, to wJiich theatre ? for there are
 
 Italy in the Leash. 197 
 
 two, at least, witli their mighty gates flung open, all 
 waiting to begin. Long before these lines are read, 
 the bowing, and scraping, and measuring of swords 
 between the great German champions will probably 
 have given place to the cannon^s roll and the rush of 
 armed legions; but with this portion of the tremendous 
 game we have far less sympathy, and no business. To 
 youthful Italy, dame England has ever turned a 
 friendly face, and all that strict neutrality, tinctured 
 with hearty good will, can do — perhaps a trifle more 
 — has been exerted in behalf of the bold boy who is 
 now going in, to win back, with his own right hand, 
 the heritage of his sires. 
 
 Florence, and thence to the royal camp, or Como 
 and Garibaldi ? It is a difficult choice ; but really 
 there is nothing like fixing one^s plans. I shall leave, 
 at 2.35, for Florence — no, stop— at 5.23, for Como, I 
 think. No, after all, Florence is tlce point, only that 
 it is so easy to take Como and the red-frocks first ; 
 after which, without prejudice to the possibility of 
 remaining there, I can follow the fortunes of the war- 
 like Victor. Admirable decision. To Como. 
 
 Seven years ago, many of these green and golden 
 fields through which we are peacefully puffing our way 
 were ravaged by war. I recal the trampled vines, the 
 shattered homesteads, the desecrated cemeteries (spots 
 much favoured by the Austrians for making a stand), 
 and also a certain ghostly stroll, in which I managed 
 to lose my way among the half-covered grave=3 of 
 Magenta.* But here we are at Milan. 
 
 * >See page 131, ante.
 
 198 Itali/ in the Leash. 
 
 Still not a soldier to be seen. The first red shirts 
 are represented by half a dozen lads, with can and 
 haversack, on their way to the depots at Monza, Como, 
 Lecca, and Bergamo. After an hour^s halt we continue 
 the journey, and, leaving tlie train two miles from 
 Como, to which there is a deep descent, are at once in 
 the midst of martial bustle and preparation. Seven 
 thousand volunteers are quartered in and about the 
 town, and, with the regiments at Monza and the neigh- 
 bouring depots, make up the number to about twenty 
 thousand. A nearly equal number, we learn, are 
 assembled in and about Ancona, to operate in Venetia, 
 and thus give full scope to their generals well-known 
 habit of appearing where he is least expected by the 
 foe. How is he ? How does he look ? Wonderfully 
 brisk and well. Active as one of his sixteen-year- 
 old recruits. Does he hobble ? Not he ! But they 
 talked of a stick. He has flung it away. Noble 
 heart of Garibaldi! We believe he did so, though 
 it helped him, because he would not at such a 
 moment call to remembrance the miscreant shot at 
 Aspromonte. 
 
 Speaking of that, a curious rumour has it that 
 Colonel Pallavicini, through whose orders that evil 
 deed was done, has offered his services upon the 
 generaPs stafi"! It is added — but that is not so 
 strange — that the magnanimous hero has accepted 
 them. He went to Lecco this morning by the usual 
 passenger-boat, and will return in the evening. Mean- 
 while, we can scrutinise the shirts of rose. 
 
 They are of all ages, from twelve to thirty-five, and 
 of every shade of brown. Those young gentlemen,
 
 Ttfdij in the Leash. 199 
 
 with eastern "fezes/^ faces almost Nubian, and 
 demeanour somewhat subdued, are said to be deserters 
 and refugees returned from Egypt, in the hope that, 
 by taking gallant share in the impending struggle, 
 they might be permitted to atone their fault. The 
 Government refused to make any pact with the 
 children of Italy who had taken refuge on a foreign 
 soil, but permitted them to volunteer. There are 
 many nobie-lookiug men among these volunteers, 
 including veterans of twenty-five, decorated with three 
 medals ; but, as a general rule, they run small and 
 young — so young, indeed, that we find it difficult to 
 believe a barber who assures us that, in one evening, 
 his receipts for shaving amounted to fifty -nin? 
 francs. 
 
 They have a long drill at five in the morning, and a 
 shorter one in the afternoon. The rest of the time is 
 at their own disposal, and it is most creditable to them 
 that, as yet, no single instance of drunkenness, insub- 
 ordination, or misconduct of any kind, can be laid 
 to their charge — a circumstance the more noticeable, 
 when we consider the results usually engendered by 
 the combination of excitement and enforced idleness. 
 But this movement is in reality exceptional, and cannot 
 be judged by ordinary rules. 
 
 Perhaps the most astonishing fact, however, con- 
 nected with these young men, is one that reached us 
 from what seemed an authentic and intelligent source, 
 that the whole body, seven thousand, spend in the 
 shops and cofi'ee-houses of the town thirty thousand 
 francs a day ! Now, their nominal pay being one 
 franc and a tenth — subject to deductions — it follows
 
 200 Italy in the Leash, 
 
 that, unless friends at liome have been very hberal, 
 or shopkeepers at Como very confiding, but little 
 cash will find its way with the Garibaldini into the 
 Tyrol. 
 
 The corps are capitally dressed; the bright red 
 frock, now become historical, is of excellent make and 
 quality; and with the neat grey trousers with red 
 seam, and red cap with a shade, something like that 
 worn by the French, they have the appearance of 
 rather irregular regulars. 
 
 Were there any English among them ? Hardly any 
 — at least, at Como — and these are supposed to be the 
 elite of the corps. The general likes to see his 
 " medal-men '^ around him, one of these same youths 
 proudly assures us. He has not encouraged the 
 advances of British ex-officers who wished to join him. 
 Loving the English, and appreciating their gallantry 
 and steadiness in the field, he has an unpleasant recol- 
 lection of the trouble and embarrassments entailed 
 upon him in the last war, by the arrival of a body of 
 gentlemen calling themselves a British legion, but 
 entirely disdainful of command, even from their own 
 officers, and whose first and last exploit seems to have 
 been the shooting of one of the sentries of their ally ! 
 All applications from British officers are at once trans- 
 ferred to the minister of war, and hitherto not even 
 the familiar faces of some who were the generaFs 
 tried and trusted followers in the last war, have reap- 
 peared in his train. 
 
 In opposition to this, how^ever, it must be stated 
 that Madame Corti, while dining with her husband, 
 two days since, at Garibaldi^s table, heard him speak
 
 Italy in tJie Leash, 201 
 
 with approval of a suggestion that had been offered, 
 with the view of employing the many English who 
 had proffered their services. After all_, let it be never- 
 theless remembered, that the struggle is peculiarly 
 national, and that, so long as it finds aliment in 
 the nation itself, foreign aid will but detract from its 
 glory. In Sicily and Naples, any man, so he would 
 fight, was welcome. Now, the only difficulty is to 
 select fi'om the warriors whom Italy herself presses to 
 the front. 
 
 It is time to go down to the quay, and join the 
 multitude who have been already some time on the 
 look-out for the general. A gun ! Another ! The 
 boat is in sight. All the unoccupied popula- 
 tion not already on the spot, come trooping down, 
 till the space is filled with a multitude swaying 
 like a corn-field, thickly grown with poppies (the 
 red shirts), and a few corn-flowers (the national 
 guard) . 
 
 There is a broad species of balcony, belonging to 
 a house overlooking the landing-place — a capital place 
 of vantage, could it only be reached, capable of holding 
 several hundred spectators. It is necessary, however, 
 to scramble up a wall twelve feet high, and then over 
 a railing three feet higher. This exactly suits the 
 Garibaldian element in the crowd. Forming the 
 classic " tortoise," in a manner which Ctesar himself 
 would have approved, the young fellows mount over 
 each other's backs, and the place is carried in a 
 moment. The landlord utters an energetic protest 
 from the window, but his voice is lost, and himself 
 forgotten, in the tumult and enthusiasm, as the steamer
 
 202 Italy in the Leash. 
 
 sweeps alongside tlie pier^ and tlie general's open 
 carriage draws up to receive liici. 
 
 There follows a remarkably long pause. The cheering 
 languishes a little. Why does he not land ? 
 
 " II generale ha perduto il suo biglietto.^' — (" The 
 general has lost his ticket ! ■'') — is somebody's sug- 
 gestion. 
 
 The carriage draws away. The general has been 
 detained ; will come by the second boat. 
 
 By the second boat he does come^ and the frenzy of 
 welcome that meets him^ though he has only been 
 absent since the morning, baffles all description. The 
 air darkens with hats, caps, handkerchiefs, and flowers. 
 Women who have nothing else wavable at hand, toss 
 up their children, and the '^ evvivas '^ of the boyish 
 soldiery are absolutely deafening. 
 
 Here he comes — the grand brave face — singular 
 • compound of lion and angel, bowing gently and sweetly 
 to the crowded balconies, and occasionally giving a 
 hand to the crowd below. He looks fresh and well, 
 and, to all appearance, the only individual perfectly 
 cool and at his ease, among us. There is something 
 in the face of this glorious soldier that seems at once 
 to give assurance of a soul so great and constant as 
 to be beyond the power of any human eventuality 
 whatever to injure or subdue. 
 
 His son, Ricciotti — less warlike than his martial 
 brother, but not less worthy of his sire — accompanies 
 him, and Canzio, the general's son-in-law. There, too, 
 are Medici, Corti, Bezzi, and others, in brilliant staff- 
 uniforms; and aides-de-camp, splendidly mounted, 
 accompany the chief; for this is a very different affair
 
 Italy in the Leash. 203 
 
 from the scanty, ragged, and half- armed band with 
 which he won his Sicily. Garibaldi is at the head of 
 forty thousand of the choicest youths of regenerated 
 Italy. Forty thousand more await his single word. 
 He holds them in leash, as only lie could hold such 
 troops, and they will not disappoint him wlien he cries 
 " Avanti ! — spring ! '^ 
 
 ^^^^^1
 
 CAMPAIGNING IN THE TYEOL. 
 
 |F you wish to see something/^ wrote a 
 friend to me from Garibaldi^ s head- 
 quarters, ^^come up directly. Business. 
 No food — no lodging — no horse — no ass 
 — no anything.''^ 
 
 Interpreting this last sentence as a salutary warning 
 rather than discouragement, I at once descended that 
 first step from luxury to starvation, which terminates 
 at Brescia, and there encountered a friend who had 
 received a similar announcement, and was already 
 fortifying himself for the unpromising ^^ front.^' 
 
 " They can^t give us rations if they would,^' he 
 casually remarked. " Their commissiariat is at 
 Lonato, and they are at Storo. Fifty miles apart, 
 you see."*^ 
 
 I did see that there might be a certain incon- 
 venience in going that distance every day to fetch 
 one^s dinner, and therefore acquiesced in the purchase 
 of a cheese, which, previously cool, seemed to break 
 into a profuse perspu'ation at the idea of goiug to the
 
 Campaigning in the Tyrol. 205 
 
 front — a mighty sausage whose prevailing element 
 was apparently pomatum — a bottle of imposition de- 
 nominated " rum/^ and in every way deserving the 
 name — and a revolver. These refreshments being 
 stowed away in a haversack, our next step was to 
 enter into covenant with the proprietor of a vehicle, 
 obsolete save in Brescia, to be and remain with us at 
 the cost of fifteen francs or liri per day, until it should 
 either break down from natural infirmity, or be 
 forcibly seized for purposes of war. In this we set 
 forth. 
 
 Our driver was a patient and resigned individual, 
 who had outlived all curiosity as to his own futura for- 
 tunes. When all was ready, he gave his steed the 
 usual " Ah ! " and, jogging out at the nearest gate, 
 demanded whither the signers would be driven? 
 Had we mentioned Jerusalem, I am persuaded he 
 would have taken an easterly direction and never 
 stopped until brought up by the natural obstacles of 
 the way. 
 
 As it was, we named Rocca d^Anfo, and — with a 
 halt on the road, to deliver some hospital stores con- 
 fided to my care by Gavazzi — reached our goal about 
 eight in the evening. 
 
 The little town was in a condition of blockade ; 
 hay-carts, commissariat-waggons, artillery-trains, am- 
 bulances, were jammed together in a mass so hopeless, 
 that we abandoned our chariot, and made our way 
 into the town on foot. Here, we discovered that the 
 petulance of a mule who had been doubled short up, 
 and as it were broken in two, by the sudden stopping 
 of the cart next before him, had caused the whole
 
 206 Campaigning in tJie Tyrol. 
 
 imbroglio. Instead of untying this new species of 
 ^^ mule-twist," the bystanders were quarrelling over 
 it. And it required all the authority of a stalwart 
 figure in red shirt and grey capote, who charged, whip 
 in hand, into the heart of the tumult, to restore order 
 and locomotion. 
 
 The new comer, in whom we recognised our friend 
 Major W. of the staff, was charged, for that night, 
 with the command of the town, for the purpose of 
 facilitating the passage of military stores. He used 
 his authority to procure us what we had regarded 
 as past hoping for — a lodging for the night. He con- 
 firmed the report that the mysterious " something " 
 would certainly come off on the morrow, and advised 
 us to start at dawn. 
 
 Along the quiet margin of Lake Ydro, reflecting 
 the green shadows of wooded heights, broken into 
 every imaginable form, past picturesque ruins and 
 ripening vines, that recalled the Ehine, we crossed 
 the bright rushing mountain stream that feeds the 
 lake, and reached Garibaldi^ s head- quarters by seven 
 in the morning. 
 
 Storo, tourists may remember, is a small village with 
 scant claims to the beautiful, at the entrance of a 
 o'Orge in the Italian Tyrol, and nestling closely under 
 rocky heights that rise, almost perpendicularly, about 
 fourteen hundred feet above the valley. Leaving the 
 village, no the one side, the road leads up through 
 the gorge to the Tiarno, the vale of Ledro, and Eiva. 
 On the other, it takes a westerly sweep, conducting 
 through Condi no to the Trentine capital, at which it 
 was supposed to be Garibaldi^s object to form a
 
 Campaigning in the Tyrol. 207 
 
 junction with tlie royal forces approacliing from 
 Venetia. 
 
 The enemy, however_, were in considerable force 
 upon the mountains ; and on the day of our arrival — 
 the sixteenth of July — the general, who had under his 
 orders about twenty-five thousand men, was still de- 
 tained at Storo, the enemy holding a fort on each of 
 che diverging roads — Ampola, in the gorge, three 
 miles distant, mounting five guns, wth a hundred and 
 thirty men — and Ladaro, on the other side, mounting 
 fourteen guns, with a strong garrison, and a support- 
 ing force in the mountains. The latter, for the present, 
 was left alone; but Ampola, the. capture of which 
 would turn the larger fort, was " wanted/^ Its time 
 was come, for Garibaldi and his red frocks must pass 
 through that defile, and two of its guns sweep the 
 narrow road for half a mile. 
 
 On the previous day, guns had been, by manual 
 labour, placed on the surrounding crests, and the 
 garrison invited to surrender. They ofi'ered to retire. 
 
 " That will not suit me,'^ said Garibaldi. *^ I must 
 have you.'' So the fire opened. 
 
 This was the second day of the bombardment, and 
 the " rimbombo '' (excellent word) of the guns was 
 echoing among the mountains. But before we could 
 enjoy the spectacle, a circumstance occurred. We 
 were engaged in a leisurely inspection of the town, 
 when a singular whiz, and a little cloud of white dust 
 struck from a wall, close to my friend^s head, attracted 
 his attention. 
 
 " Now, wouldn^t you have said that was a bullet ? " 
 he asked, smiling.
 
 208 Camijaicjning in the Tyrol. 
 
 The phenomenon was repeated^ while faint and dis- 
 tant detonations completed the resemblance detected 
 by my friend. 
 
 If anything were needed to perfect the illusion^ it 
 was supplied by a sudden slamming of windows and 
 doors ; a darting about of men, women, and children ; 
 and the abrupt disappearance, down an archway, of 
 an elderly lady, who had been quietly knitting at a 
 lemonade-stall across the way. 
 
 ^' Giuseppe, ! What is this ? '^ shouted he to our 
 driver, who sauntered into sight, preserving his usual 
 impassive demeanour. 
 
 Giuseppe made an efiPort, and pointed to the adja- 
 cent heights, dotted with little puflFs of smoke : 
 
 ^' Austrians.^' 
 
 My friend dived into an open doorway, and was, I 
 trust, received with hospitality by the family. The 
 enemy had suddenly shown themselves on the edge of 
 the overhanging rocks, and, extending in a Hne nearly 
 two miles loug, opened a sharp rifle-fire upon the 
 village. Six balls had struck Garibaldi^s house, when 
 the general, who had been out on one of his early ex- 
 cursions, was seen approaching in his carriage, and 
 at once attracted the fire. He was propped up with 
 pillows, still suffering from the wound — erroneously 
 termed slight — received at Monte Suello. Bidding 
 his staff and escort ride fifty paces apart, the general 
 drove safely into shelter; not, however (as Colonel 
 Chambers, who rode beside him, informed me), with- 
 out three balls reaching his carriage. 
 
 The neglect of an officer who had been directed by 
 Garibaldi to occupy the heights, led to this incident,
 
 Campaigning in the Tyrol. 209 
 
 whicli, fortunately, had no ill result. Two companies 
 of the red-shirted beginning to ascend the winding 
 paths,, the enemy withdi^ew. 
 
 During the day, our party of amateurs was increased 
 by the arrival of a gentleman who had undertaken 
 to inform the readers of a West-end paper what 
 Garibaldi was doing; and of another, whose some- 
 what difficult name — Popplieffewowski — we (he being 
 a very good fellow) at once agreed to soften into the 
 " Popular One." 
 
 We dined on two fowls, alive and careless but an 
 hour before, and in a commodious hay-loft, not inno- 
 cent of flea and rat, resigned ourselves to the coy 
 repose that might be expected in such a lodging. 
 
 I was falling asleep for the fifteenth time, when a 
 tall figure stood at my side, a sabre clanked, and a 
 voice muttered : 
 
 *^ Be up at three. Something. — ■" 
 
 "All right. But where?" 
 
 " ni call for you." And the phantom vanished, 
 bequeathing us the flavour of a very strong cigar. 
 
 We were up at three, but the ghost did not call for 
 us. We waited till five. No spectre. At length we 
 heard that Major W. had taken his sword and revolver, 
 and had gone out hastily at one in the morning. 
 Furthermore, that there was something desperate 
 going forward — somewhere. 
 
 " Bather selfish, I think," muttered the Popular 
 One. " Something and somewhere ! At all events, 
 the fort cannot walk away. Let^s go to Ampola." 
 
 Agreed. A weary march — or rather climb, for we 
 had frequently to ascend by a flight of steps cut in 
 
 p
 
 210 Campahjning in tltc Tijrol. 
 
 the rock — placed us, in about an hour and a half, upon 
 a green plateau, with shrubs here and there of sufficient 
 growth to shield us from the burning sun. llere we 
 found four nine-pound brass guns, assisted by three 
 others, planted on neighbouring crests, playing upon 
 the contumacious little fort below. 
 
 The latter, having much the aspect of a little road- 
 side inn, with the stabling detached, was situated at 
 the bottom of the ravine, in an abrupt angle of the 
 road : forminof an excellent taro^et for the round shot 
 and grenades that, every half minute, whistled down 
 the narrow gorge, and struck with unerring exactitude 
 either the fort proper, or the fortified barrack in the 
 rear. But no effect was perceptible. As the cloud 
 of smoke and brown dust blew away, the banner of 
 Austria constantly reappeared, defiant as ever. Thrice, 
 indeed, it had been shot away ; but it had been as 
 often replaced by the sturdy garrison. 
 
 The amusement of watching it soon became mono- 
 tonous. The fort replied only at long intervals, and 
 an argument in which there is but one disputant is apt 
 to wax wearisome. Below the hill, however, a different 
 scene was enacting. Hoping to reason with the fort 
 with greater effect, a gallant artillery officer had caused 
 a gun to be quietly projected round a jutting angle of 
 the road, within a few hundred pa.ces of the wall, and 
 was about to deliver fire, when a shot from the 
 fortress struck the carriage, dismounted the gun, 
 killed the officer and a corporal, and wounded no less 
 than sixteen men. Loud shouts of " Savoia ! Savoia ! ^' 
 " Avanti ! " and bugles sounding the advance, covered 
 the mishap; and we who were unable from our posi-
 
 Campaigning in the Tyrol. 211 
 
 tion, to see precisely what had occurred^ imagined 
 that a sudden dash was to be made upon the fort. 
 Next moment, however, the recall was sounded, and all 
 went on as before. 
 
 During the firing yesterday, two deserters made 
 their way into the town. They were Venetians, and 
 gave some useful information. 
 
 The few prisoners hitherto taken by the volunteers 
 have been treated with much kindness. 
 
 " Remember,^^ said Garibaldi, at the commence- 
 ment of the war, '^ every Austrian prisoner is my 
 son.'^* 
 
 In forming his modest household here, at Storo, the 
 general purposely selected the Austrians of the place, 
 and they serve him heart and soul. 
 
 The noble chief is not a very good housekeeper, and 
 might sometimes be left without a dinner, but for the 
 watchful care of his attached English friends, Colonel 
 and Mrs. Chambers ; the latter of whom, in despair at 
 the poverty of the general's larder, insisted on be- 
 coming his caterer, and sends him his dinner every 
 day. Fish, fruit, and ice-cream, are his luxuries ; but 
 his tastes, as is well known, are simple in the extreme. 
 
 * Mr. Charles Dickens, in a marginal note in All the Year 
 Round, referring to this subject, remarked that he had received, 
 on very high Italian authority, -wTitten assurances that when, at 
 Lissa, Italians, officers and men, were struggling in the water, the 
 Austrians fired on them — officers with revolvers, and men with 
 rifles ; that this took place after the Re cT Italia was sunk, and the 
 Falestro blown up ; that nine officers from the Re cV Italia, who 
 were on a kind of raft, were thus shot ; and that these chivalrous 
 achievements were accompanied with coarse and insulting cries. 
 The unparalleled excitement of the time rendered it, however, 
 exceedingly difficult to ascertain the truth. 
 
 P 2
 
 212 Campaigning in the Tyrol. 
 
 While he was on board the Bij)on, on his way to Eng- 
 land, a mighty bill of fare was every morning laid 
 before him. He examined it with great gravity and 
 approval, but it was observed that he invariably made 
 his repast of the dish — whether peas, potatoes, meat, 
 or fish — that happened to be before him. 
 
 While staying at Stafford House, Garibaldi, who 
 always rose at five, was summoned to breakfast about 
 ten. He said he had already partaken of that meal. 
 Respectful inquiry was made whether he had had all 
 that he needed ? ^^0 yes," he replied ; " I had some 
 beer,and there was some bread left last night; latehim.'" 
 
 Garibaldi^s tastes in literature are as simple as in 
 eating. He has a decidedly poetic and imaginative 
 turn, and has written striking fervid poetry. He 
 loves the page of Scott, but also, with a child-like 
 interest that might make fools laugh, but would charm 
 the wise, will dwell upon the adventures of Jack and 
 the Bean-stalk, or suffer himself to be caught in the 
 meshes of one of those thrilling domestic histories 
 which, for a penny, inform us what unimaginable 
 horrors are passing under our noses, without in the 
 least disturbing the polished surface of society. 
 
 All sorts of provisions, even bread, were frightfully 
 scarce at head-quarters. I would not be understood 
 as affirming that the two-sous loaf is worth a napoleon ; 
 but I do know that some rich but famishing Dives 
 offered the latter sum for one, and that Lazarus refused. 
 
 A day or two since, Menotti Garibaldi, whose fine 
 regiment — the Ninth — is encamped forward, invited 
 his English friends out to a pic-nic, warning them (a 
 lady being of the party) that it was likely to be a
 
 Campaigning in the Tyrol. 213 
 
 perfectly " quiet day/' There being little else than 
 biscuit and wine in Menotti's camp_, the visitors were 
 requested to bring their own provisions. A luncheon 
 — splendid for Store — was accordingly provided^ and 
 the merry party were just sitting down^ when a gentle 
 pattering sound was heard^ and the rimbombo an- 
 nounced, as Menotti remarked, that the enemy had 
 heard of the pic-nic and demanded their share. There 
 was a general bustle ; the lunch departed, none knew 
 whither ; and the " quiet day " filled more than one 
 room in the hospital. 
 
 Up to this period, the wounded do not exceed six 
 hundred. It is well there are no more, for, though 
 fighting commenced a month ago, the hospital ar- 
 rangements are shamefully defective. The medical 
 stafi" is weak and quite insufiicient, even for the 
 comparatively small number at present requiring aid. 
 We shall see what happened at an emergency. The 
 political jealousies of a set immediately surrounding 
 Garibaldi have destroyed unanimity, marred the 
 method and system of every department, and exposed 
 the sick and wounded to neglect and privation dis- 
 graceful to humanity. The ablest medical practitioner 
 in Italy offered his gratuitous services. He was re- 
 jected. The " squadri '^ — parties of four hospital- 
 attendants and a doctor, who volunteer hospital 
 service — oSered themselves. The attendants were 
 accepted, but the doctor was rejected. Stores, sent 
 by a generous ladies' committee at Milan for the use 
 of the wretched hospitals in front, which needed every 
 essential, were detained and appropriated by the head 
 of the medical staS", simply because they were addressed
 
 214 Gamjpaignmg in tlie Tyrol. 
 
 to the care of an English lady who does not belong to 
 tlie ^^ clique *' above mentioned — only to the guild of 
 Christian charity. Poor Garibaldi has had worse 
 enemies to contend with, this war, than the Austrians. 
 Bureaucracy — government influence unworthily ex- 
 ercised — false friends, on whom his generous nature 
 relies, but who systematically conceal from him the 
 imperfect condition of matters essential to the welfare 
 of his army and his own honoured name. 
 
 " I dream of my wounded,'^ he said yesterday. 
 '^Go, C, tell them I ever dream of them.^^ 
 
 If, instead of dreaming of them, the brave old chief 
 had shot one of their neglecters, a better state of 
 things might have been the result. 
 
 One hospital — that of Rocca d^Anfo — free from the 
 bad influences before referred to, and under the charge 
 of an able independent man. Dr. Brandini, was an 
 absolute model of comfort, neatness, and everything 
 that can tend to lessen the gloom of these abodes of 
 suSering. Visiting it, one day, with Mrs. Chambers, 
 the doctor presented us with a mighty pike, taken in 
 the adjacent lake, Ydro. My companion was almost 
 speechless with joy. The general loves fish, and none 
 is to be obtained. We went racing back to Store, at 
 the imminent hazard of our necks : Mrs. C.'s driver — 
 a sort of Bashi-bazouk, covered with remarkable 
 weapons — urging the horse with wild shrieks to its 
 utmost speed. Providentially we arrived without 
 broken bones, and half the pike appeared at the 
 generals four o^clock dinner; the remainder being 
 made into broth for his three o^clock breakfast next 
 morning.
 
 Campaigning in the Tyrol. 215 
 
 Little Ampola — naughty little Ampola — has been 
 slapped enough, and at ten o'clock to-day (the nine- 
 teenth) hung out a white tablecloth, as much as to 
 say that the storm might cease, and she was going to 
 breakfast ; a meal she could scarcely have enjoyed of 
 late. The staff, with a very large following for a fort 
 so small, took possession about two, and the civil 
 authorities — that is to say, the writer, the Popular 
 One, the AVest-end Journal, and another distinguished 
 Englishman, whose beard of warmest tint had procured 
 him the title of II Eosso — entered also. 
 
 The execution done by our two thousand shells was 
 not considerable. "We had killed one man, and 
 wounded four. They had been ordered to hold out 
 six days, and the fourth day had arrived, when the 
 garrison, who dwelt day and night in the cellarage — 
 perhaps driven to madness by the perpetual contempla- 
 tion of the wine — mutinied, and drank up the whole. 
 After this there remained no alternative, so the com- 
 mandant surrendered. A salute was fired, and we 
 were proceeding to other demonstrations of joy, when 
 a message from the general suggested that they should 
 be deferred to a worthier occasion, and ordered that 
 the Garibaldi Hymn should not be played, nor any 
 other offence offered to the feehngs of the prisoners, 
 who were complimented on their gallant defence. 
 
 We were very jolly this evening. We had esta- 
 blished a sort of mess, presided over by our friend 
 Major Wolff, on whom we chiefly relied for warning Oi 
 the " something " that was constantly going to happen, 
 but didn^t. Upon the West-end Journal — who was, 
 we noticed with regret, the slave of sensual appetites.
 
 216 Campaigning in the Tyrol. 
 
 liked pepper with Lis omelette,, and was particular 
 about having Lis bacon dressed — devolved the duty of 
 obtaining provision ; " II Eosso/^ who had a head for 
 finance^ kept the accounts — which would never come 
 right; and the Popular One rose to the climax of 
 popularity by suddenly, without a word of preparation, 
 producing a huge packet of Russian tea. 
 
 Things really did look promising now. Something 
 was coming. The capture of Ampola had opened the 
 road to Riva; but would Garibaldi be satisfied with 
 thus turning the fort of Ladaro, on the other road, 
 and leave it untaken in his rear ? 
 
 From head- quarters it was reported that the general 
 was in higher spirits than he had been for daj^s ; that 
 he had issued numerous orders, and would transfer his 
 head-quarters to-morrow, at his favourite hour of three, 
 to Tiarno di Sopra, which, with its sister village, 
 Tiarno di Sotto, were situated five or six miles on the 
 road to Riva. It was known that, at this latter place, 
 the Austrians were posted very strongly; also, that 
 they had considerable forces out upon tlie mountains, 
 where, familiar with every yard of ground, they were 
 no doubt preparing to render our march to Riva any- 
 thing but a peaceful promenade. 
 
 Among the Garibaldian officers who visited us in 
 the course of the evening, was the gallant Chiassi, 
 colonel of the Fifth regiment : a fine body, more than 
 four thousand strong, and eager for fight. Chiassi 
 was an intimate friend of my brother^ s, whom he had 
 visited in England; he remained chatting with us 
 until duty summoned him away to head the march 
 from which he was never to retui^n.
 
 Campaigning in the Tyrol. 217 
 
 We now ascertained that a flying column, under his 
 command, was to move at once on Riva. It was com- 
 posed of six companies of his own regiment, with two 
 battalions of the Seventh, and was to be followed by 
 detachments of the Second and the Ninth (Menotti's). 
 The column marched in high spirits, threading the 
 beautiful vale of Ledro, when, while entering a village, 
 without precautions, at about four in the morning, 
 their band playing, they were suddenly attacked by a 
 force from Riva, estimated at eight thousand, with 
 guns and rockets. The Austrians, occupying the 
 houses, opened a withering fire, and threw the column 
 into irremediable disorder. Nevertheless, they re- 
 treated fighting, though with the loss of some of their 
 chief officers and many men. Castellini was slain. 
 The Majors Pessina and Martinelli were severely 
 wounded : the latter, in a deplorable state, remaining 
 in the enemy^s hands. Poor Chiassi did all that 
 heroic courage could, to show a front to the over- 
 whelming foe. With a sort of presentiment, he had, 
 when the action began, taken the decoration from 
 his breast, and entrusted it to his aide-de-camp, 
 saying, " This is likely to be a serious business.''^ 
 
 While rallying the men, a ball struck him in the 
 side. He was raised up by his aide, assisted by a 
 soldier and a peasant; but, before they had moved 
 many paces, a bullet mortally wounded the soldier, 
 and another so much disabled the aide that he was 
 compelled to quit his hold. Chiassi, who was dying, 
 fell into the hands of the enemy, who robbed 
 him of his watch and purse. An hour and a half 
 later his body was recovered^ in a bayonet-charge,
 
 218 Camiiaicjning in tlte Tyrol. 
 
 and brought to Garibaldi^ who could not restrain his 
 emotion. 
 
 " He died as he lived — a hero/^ said the general. 
 " It is a beautiful and glorious end ! '^ 
 
 The gallant conduct of the Ninth, under Menotti, 
 to whom great praise is due, enabled the broken 
 troops to regain some order. Kicciotti, in the uniform 
 of a simple private of the Guides, evinced great bravery 
 in this, his first battle ; and both the martial brothers 
 had their horses killed under them. The Fifth regi- 
 ment lost five hundred prisoners ; but three hundred 
 of these escaped under a heavy fire, and such as were 
 unscathed rejoined the regiment of their corps. 
 
 By the time that Garibaldi — informed of what was 
 passing — arrived at the scene of action, the enemy 
 had occupied Bezzecca, and were threatening Tiarno 
 di Sotto. The firing was warm. One of the general's 
 escort of Guides had his thigh broken by a fragment 
 of shell ; another had his horse killed. The presence 
 of the chief restored some confidence, but there was 
 still much disorder, and, at the moment when I and 
 my friend of the West- end Journal reached Tiarno, 
 there were symptoms of impending disaster. We 
 were told that the enemy were entering the village. 
 Numbers were hurrying to the rear; many wounded 
 were coming in ; and the fact that each of these last 
 was attended by five, six, or seven sound men, seemed 
 to indicate that afi'airs in front were not going on as 
 smoothly as could be wished. Oflicers and Guides 
 galloped to and fro, shouting, encouraging, exhorting. 
 
 " Forward ! forward ! We want every man !'' 
 
 Aware that these panic rumours are not always well
 
 Campaigning in the Ttjrol. 219 
 
 founded, we made our way through the retiring groups, 
 and, getting clear of the village, had the battle before 
 us. Bezzecca, about a mile distant, was in possession 
 of the enemy, who was apparently extending his front, 
 so as to occupy the wooded heights that skirt the 
 valley, while two guns on his right commanded the 
 road. The rifle and musketry fire was well sustained, 
 and in every direction our troops were retiring. Among 
 the red-frocks there was a greater alacrity in this 
 movement than it was pleasant to see ; and when our 
 one gun, on the left, hastily limbered up and trotted 
 from its position, while the generaPs carriage was seen 
 coming swiftly back from the neighbourhood of Bez- 
 zecca, the panic was not without excuse. 
 
 Garibaldi drew up at the entrance of the village, 
 close to where we stood. He was accompanied by 
 two officers. He was slightly flushed, and the lion 
 face lacked something of its usual serenity as he 
 glanced at the skulkers pouring by. 
 
 ^' Sound ! sound V he said to the buglers. '^ Send 
 this canaglia to their duty.^^ (The stern contempt wiLh 
 which he rolled out the ^^ canaglia ^^ is indescribable.) 
 
 For the first time the presence of the chief seemed 
 to have lost its spell. It was clearly possible to be a 
 coward under his very eye. The officers, to a man, 
 did their duty. The Guides (whom we had regarded 
 as a rather fresh and pampered body, with a propen- 
 sity for charging everybody but the foe) galloped 
 about in the fire, and were indefatigable in their 
 efibrts to rally the men. 
 
 '^ Avanti ! Avanti ! Coraggio V^ they shouted. 
 " Garibaldi is on the road \"
 
 220 Campaigmng in the Ti/rol. 
 
 "Avanti V was echoed by a despairing captain near 
 me, whose little group of red- shirts was rapidly dimin- 
 ishing. " Avanti, ragazzi ! Avanti ! Per Dio — sacr- 
 r-ramento !" 
 
 And on all sides the bugles never ceased sounding 
 the advance. 
 
 At this time a regular panic took place in the village ; 
 a rush was made for the rearward village, Tiarno di 
 Sopra, in which our carriage and effects were involved ; 
 and I missed my companion, the West-end Journal, 
 until he emerged in safety, at the close of the action, 
 from the rear of a six-gun battery, which, hurried up 
 to the front, began at this moment to do us good 
 service. 
 
 By Garibaldi^s orders, two companies of the volun- 
 teer Bersaglieri — a picked corps — began to ascend the 
 heights on our left, and soon their long grey line was 
 seen creeping steadily along the sinuous track towards 
 the crests that overlook Bezzecca. To support them, 
 some red-shirts were hastily assembled, and, as soon 
 as they could be convinced that the grey Bersaglieri 
 were indeed "i nostri,^^ — our own men — prepared to 
 follow. 
 
 A leader was wanted, and the general called for a 
 volunteer. A young officer ran up to his carriage. 
 
 '' Bravo, bravo, Plantulli V said Garibaldi, as they 
 hastened away. The general gave the card and pencil, 
 with which he had been writing orders, to his servant 
 on the box, and lay back in the carriage, as if to wait 
 events. He wore to-day, in place of his round black 
 hat, a bright scarlet smoking-cap, embroidered with 
 gold, and it became him well.
 
 Cmiipaigmng in the Tyrol. 221 
 
 Meanwhile, a six-gun battery, under Major Dogliotti, 
 had taken up a position on a grassy slope to the right 
 of the village, and, firing diagonally across the valley, 
 opened a terrible fire upon Bezzecca, setting it on fire, 
 and completely arresting the advance of the enemy on 
 that side. The scene at this time was extremely beau- 
 tiful among the smooth lawn-like slopes and cultivated 
 fields of the vale of Ledro ; the smoke of the burning 
 village, the roar of shells, the rushing, shouting, 
 bugling, and the throngs of wounded making painful 
 progress to the rear, presenting a strange contrast to 
 the pastoral quiet and beauty that reigned beyond 
 thQ narrowing limits of the strife. A bright mountain 
 stream sparkled through the valley, and, although the 
 approach to it was by a slip of white road still crossed 
 by the enemy^s rifle-fire, over which no one seemed 
 disposed to pass — ^^ except on business '' — it was im- 
 possible to resist the temptation to drink. Several 
 poor wounded fellows were slaking their thirst there, 
 to one of whom (shot through the thigh, and bleeding 
 freely) my brandy-flask imparted a little strength. 
 
 By this time afiairs had assumed a difterent aspect. 
 The steady advance of the Bersaglieri, and the splendid 
 practice of Dogliotti's battery (regulars), cleared the 
 left of the valley, and allowed some reinforcements to 
 be passed across to the right. A rush was then made 
 with the bayonet on the village. It was carried^ and 
 the battle ended. 
 
 The nature of the ground concealed some of the 
 distressing sights that usually attend such a contest. 
 The Austrians carried ofl" all their dead and wounded, 
 but left thirty prisoners in our hands. Forty or
 
 222 Campaignirig in the Tyrol. 
 
 fifty Italian dead lay on or near the road^ and many 
 more were hidden by the thick brushwood, in which, 
 while skirmishing, they had sought cover. I passed a 
 fine artilleryman lying feet upward on a grassy slope 
 — his head completely gone. Three young volunteers 
 lay dead at the angle of a wall — where they had, per- 
 haps, sought refuge from the shell, which had never- 
 theless found them. The wounded lay thick about the 
 village. Our loss, as near as could be guessed, was 
 about a hundred and twenty slain, four hundred and 
 seventy wounded, and two hundred prisoners. The 
 brave artillery sufi'ered some loss. Out of the detach- 
 ment of sixty which have hitherto accompanied 
 Garibaldi, five have been killed, and twenty-five 
 wounded. 
 
 The loss in ofiicers was disproportionately great ; 
 not only had they been compelled to expose them- 
 selves to unusual danger, but the too marked distinc- 
 tion of dress had pointed them out to the sharp eyes 
 of the trained Bohemian troops and Tyrolese jagers, 
 to whom our raw and boyish levies had been opposed. 
 
 Captain Bezzi, twice condemned to death by Aus- 
 trian tribunals, received a ball in the ankle, shattering 
 the bone, in one of the desperate conflicts of the 
 morning. Wlien retreat became inevitable, Canzio, 
 the generaPs son-in-law, went up to him. 
 
 " You are a brave man, Bezzi,^^ he said, ^' and your 
 character is sufiiciently known. Take you charge of 
 the retreat. I remain.^^ 
 
 Bezzi refused; but ultimately finding his menfalliug 
 fast, with no hope of retrieving the day, yielded to 
 necessity.
 
 Campaigning in the Tyrol. 223 
 
 Our friend Major W. hearing of his wound, and 
 unwilling that he should remain so near his implacable 
 foes (though repulsed), ordered his carriage and 
 brought him safely to Tiarno. 
 
 To describe the scenes at the hospitals improvised 
 at the church and other buildings of the two Tiarnos, 
 would demand a stronger pen than mine. The injuries 
 inflicted by the shells and the terrible jager bullets 
 were more than usually severe, yet only one or two of 
 the boasted medical staff were to be found. Their 
 chief was far away. There were no ambulances, no 
 bandages, no lint, no food, and very many of the 
 wounded received not the slightest notice or relief for 
 many weary hours. Two kind ladies, who accompanied 
 head- quarters, ]\Irs. Chambers and Madame Civalleri 
 (wife of the chief of the telegraphic staff), tore up their 
 very dresses and linen to bind the wounds, and the 
 parish priest of Tiarno di Sotto — though no friend to 
 our general — bestirred himself nobly to provide what- 
 ever was most needed. In half an hour he had the 
 greater part of his flock engaged in preparing lint, 
 bandages, and broth, for the sufferers that crowded 
 the church. 
 
 The fortitude of the young soldiers was astonishing. 
 No matter how severe their hurts — except in the 
 agony of probing, or of amputation (for, of course, no 
 chloroform had been supplied) — not a groan or excla- 
 mation was to be heard. For many hours, the tramp 
 of bearers, and the low murmurs of the hospital 
 attendants, were the only sounds audible.
 
 MUTINY ABOAED THE MINNIE JIMPS. 
 
 ARRY/' said my friend Philip Bulkelej^ 
 
 as we sat together after dinner in his 
 
 comfortable chambers in the Albany, 
 
 ^^ Help 3'ourself. This is ■'thirty-four/'' 
 
 The port might have been one thousand and two, 
 
 for anything I knew, or cared. So I said, " Ha ! '' 
 
 and smacked my lips, as though recognising the 
 
 flavour. 
 
 '^ Henry,^^ resumed my friend — I am " Hal " in 
 his moods of highest mirth, " Harry '^ under circum- 
 stances of calmer conviviality, " Henry," in the 
 dumps — " Henry, it is too much the fashion, nowa- 
 days, to affect a callousness foreign to one^s real 
 nature. If a fellow^s in love — and if, at some period 
 of his life, he isn^t, he must be either fool or brute — 
 he denies it to the extremest liuiit of his conscience ; 
 nay, beyond it. He abandons his club, and the other 
 blessed haunts of his boyish — I mean bachelor — days, 
 and is not again seen until, with defiant brow, as- 
 sumed for the occasion, he struts into the morning-
 
 Mutiny aboard the Minnie Jimps. 225 
 
 room a married man. He finds no change in the 
 demeanour of his friends. The secretary is as oblig- 
 ing as ever, the waiters as obsequious : he has lent 
 himself in vain to a mean deception. ^\Tiy did he 
 not speak out like a man ? Why be ashamed to admit 
 the truth to which every fibre of his manly frame bore 
 witness, that Selina Pettifold Tibbs was more to him 
 than all the billiards, the whist, the cigars, the dogs, 
 the horses, the etcetera, in the universe ? Henry, I 
 reject, I repudiate that course. I am in love/' said 
 Philip, rising, and leaning his elbow on the mantel- 
 piece ; '*" I confess, I glory in it. Proclaim it where 
 you list. I love, sir. And I don't care if I at once 
 connect with that admission the name of Seraphina 
 Pollinger.^^ 
 
 '^Toasts are almost out of date,^^ I replied; "but 
 the 'thirty-four must pay for this.'' 
 
 We drank a bumper, Philip nodding gravely in 
 acknowledgment of the pledge, after which he con- 
 tinued — 
 
 " ' Laugh and grow fat ' is all very well ; but it 
 does appear both singular and ridiculous that love 
 should send a fellow up, in four months, from nine- 
 stone-nine to eleven-stone-three ! Henry, I hate 
 myself!" 
 
 An idea shot across my mind : 
 
 '' Philip, my boy, go to sea ! " 
 
 "To sea?" 
 
 " To sea. As an active hand." 
 
 " Too late— too late ! " sighed Philip. 
 
 " Not at all. Buy a yacht." 
 
 " Yacht ! Hem ! " said PhiUp, considering. 
 Q
 
 226 Mutimj aboard tJte Minnie Jhnps. 
 
 " I will join you/^ I exclaimed^ in a burst of 
 friendly enthusiasm. "Philip, rely on me. We will 
 sink or swim together.''^ 
 
 " The former, probably/^ muttered Philip. 
 " We two alone — not even cook or cabin-boy. I 
 myself want work — good, hearty, earnest work. TV e 
 will take watch and watch, and, if it be necessary to 
 climb up the masts to let out sails, tie things, and so 
 forth, you, my friend, shall do it."*^ 
 
 Bulkeley grasped my hand. I felt that the compact 
 was complete. 
 
 " Let^s go to Cowes,^^ said Philip, " and see what 
 is to be had." 
 
 I suggested Lymington, but a slight colour stole 
 over Philip's face. 
 
 " Dabchick Villa, Ryde," he said, in a low, earnest 
 tone, " is let to Mrs. Penquickle. She is aunt to 
 Serry PoUinger.-'^ 
 
 I at once acceded to the nearer vicinity, and we 
 went down to Cowes on the morrow. We knew 
 nothing whatever of yachting. Beyond an occasional 
 pull to Richmond or Kew, and one voyage to the 
 distant haven of Calais, neither of us had ever dared 
 the deep. " But you learn as much, sir,''^ said Philip, 
 " in an hour^s real dead practice, as will make a sea- 
 man of you." 
 
 That evening, Philip returned to our hotel at Cowes, 
 Isle of Wight, from a soHtary stroll, with a huge 
 brown book under his arm. 
 
 " I thought," said Philip, " we had better be on 
 the safe side." The book was entitled " Hopsetter-'s 
 Navigation^" and might, from its venerable appear-
 
 Mutiny aboard the Minnie Jimps. 227 
 
 ance, have formed part of a nautical library inherited 
 by the Ancient Mariner from his grandfather. 
 
 My friend seated himself in a deep chair and 
 studied his author for nearly five minutes. Then he 
 flung the book aside with the simple interjection, 
 " Bosh ! '* and turned to the more genial page of 
 BeWs Life in London. 
 
 "^Wkj, here/' exclaimed Bulkeley, 'Ms the very 
 thing we are in search of. Listen : ' For Privnt'e 
 Contract. — To be sold, a ridiculous bargain, under 
 peculiar circumstances, the celebrated clipper yacht 
 Minnie, twenty-five tons Q.M. With almost fabulous 
 amount of stores. Winner of nineteen cups. Dingey, 
 gig, &c. Apply to Mr. Lawrence Batseye, North 
 Cowes.' '' 
 
 " I don't quite fancy the name,'' I said. '^ For a 
 vessel of that bigness — tonnage, I mean — 'Minnie' 
 sounds insignificant. If it had been Minnie some- 
 thing. Stop — an idea ! She shall have a surname." 
 
 " Very good. \\Tiat ? " 
 
 " Jimps." 
 
 '' Jimps ! " 
 
 '' Precisely. Minnie Jimps. Nothing can be better. 
 The old Crimean conundrum — the often quoted, mys- 
 terious, invisible, impossible Minnie Jimps." 
 
 Thereupon I related to Philip Bulkeley how Minnie 
 Jimps, like one of those prodigies which forerun great 
 human crises, made her appearance, no man knew 
 whence, in that extraordinary tongue which formed 
 the medium of communication between the English 
 soldiers and the peasants of Bulgaria. But who 
 Minnie was, the nature of the manoeuvre she was sup- 
 
 Q 2
 
 228 Mutiny aboard the Minnie Jlmps. 
 
 posed to execute, and \ylierefore slie jimped at all, 
 are questions still unsettled. 
 
 "But," said Philip, ''Jimps, according to all 
 human presumption, is a verb. It will hardly do for 
 a name." 
 
 " It does for a title. Pippa passes. If Pippa pass 
 unchallenged, shall Minnie Jimps be questioned ? My 
 mind is made up. What say you to going at once on 
 board?" 
 
 " Vfith all my heart." 
 
 Philip started up with an alacrity I had not noticed 
 in him for months past, and, lighting our cigars, we 
 strolled down to the landing-place. 
 
 " Boat, sir ? " 
 
 "Ye — ay, ay," replied Philip. "Presently. I say, 
 where do they put up — lay up, I mean — the Minnie, 
 twenty-five tons, O.M. ? " 
 
 " She^s in the stream, sir. Yonder she lays. There's 
 Jim Stodger, him as has charge of her, just gone 
 aboard, sir. It's pumping day." 
 
 " ' Pumping day ! ' Well, shove ahead, we'll have 
 a look at her," said my friend. 
 
 The man obeyed, and pulled out in the direction of 
 the Minnie, which proved to be a cutter, low, sharp, 
 and of enormous length, having no beam to speak of, 
 an immense mast, and a bowsprit of proportionate 
 length, parallel to, and all but touching, the water. 
 She had, in fact, so many racing features, that we 
 could distinguish nothing else. • 
 
 " Just row round her front first," said Bulkeley. 
 " She's precious low in the water — ain't she, 
 Harry?"
 
 Mutiny aboard tJie Minnie Jimps. 229 
 
 '^ She'll lift a streak, sir/^ said the boatman ; '^ I 
 ^spose there's a good deal in her.'' 
 
 There was, at all events, a good deal coming out of 
 her ; for Mr. Stodger could be distinguished hard at 
 work at a powerful pump, discharging huge volumes 
 of water over her side. 
 
 " What ! does she let in the sea ? " 
 
 *' Oh, 'tain't nothin'," said the man (we were now 
 alongside); '^ just keeps her hold fresh. Them clip- 
 pers are mostly strained, and she's a flyer is the Minnie, 
 Hallo, mate ! Two gem' to see the craft." 
 
 Mr. Stodger touched his cap, and motioned us on 
 board. 
 
 " Well, let's see this clipper of yours," said my 
 friend. " Hallo ! she isn't much, from one side to 
 the other," crossing her in about a pace and a 
 half. 
 
 Her deck was slightly convex, and altogether it 
 was something like standing upon a wall that had a 
 rounded top, and staggered. 
 
 " Well," said Mr. Stodger, " she ain't built much 
 for knocking about in heavy weather. But, for gents 
 as don't seem to care for to go foreign and that, she's 
 as nice and lively a little thing as I know on ; lovely 
 in stays, and though she is so long, you can turn her 
 on a sixpence ! " 
 
 Philip mechanically took out one of those coins 
 from his pocket, looked at it, and put it in again, 
 wondering how the manoeuvre was described in Hop- 
 setter. 
 
 We walked up and down the deck, patted the mast, 
 squinted along the bowsprit, felt the ropes, and peeped
 
 230 Mutiny aboard the Mutnie Jimps. 
 
 down below ; but were advised not to descend, as 
 there was still an inch or so of water in the cabin. 
 Eespecting the stores, Mr. Stodger informed us we 
 must apply to the agent, Mr. Batseye. 
 
 *^ Beg pardon, gents/^ said Mr. Stodger ; '^ if you 
 want a prize crew, I can pick you out five smart hands, 
 which I know they^re up to every " 
 
 "We don^t mean to sail wagers much,^^ said Philip. 
 " My friend and I have a fancy for handling our own 
 craft. We shall probably only cruise about the Wight, 
 with an occasional pop over to Havre or Cherbourg, 
 when there's anything going on ; so, you see, we don't 
 want anybody."" 
 
 " Bless my body, gents ! You never mean to work 
 the Minnie your two selves ? '' 
 
 "Such is our purpose, Mr. Stodger,'' replied Philip, 
 with some dignity. " Why not ? " 
 . " Why, she'd be off with you like a arrow. Bolt 
 clean away, she would ; and you'd be picked up in the 
 Bay of Biscay, short o' water, and living on the cat. 
 Don't do nothing of the kind, as you vally your lives. 
 You don't know the Minnie. I do. If there's any- 
 thing of a breeze, and you show but a yard o' canvas, 
 she's like a mad thing ! " 
 
 We returned ashore ; and, on making our errand 
 known to Mr. Batseye, that gentleman handed us an 
 inventory of the vessel's fabulous stores (consisting, 
 to our secret astonishment, not of provisions, wines, 
 &c., but ropes, chains, blocks, anchors, and other in- 
 digestible things), and further informed us that the 
 price was one hundred and thirty- seven pounds four- 
 teen shillings — terms which, as they had been care-
 
 Mutiny ahoard the Minnie Jimjys. 231 
 
 fully adjusted to tlie lowest degree short of absurdity, 
 were unsusceptible of further abatement. 
 
 We consulted for a moment apart. I owned to 
 some little misgiving; but, observing that Philip's 
 heart was in the matter, and that his love-inflamed 
 imagination already pictured the Minnie darting along 
 past the green slopes of Osborne, rounding to under 
 full sail off Dabchick Villa, and receiving on her ridgy 
 deck the fairy form of Serry Pollinger — apprehending, 
 I say, the vision aforesaid, I nobly pocketed my 
 scruples, and assented to the completion of the 
 bargain. We gave a cheque on the spot, and were 
 masters of the Minnie, thenceforward Minnie Jimi?s. 
 Mr. Batseye, at the instance of my friend, further 
 entered into an arrangement by which the supply of 
 water for the purpose of keeping the Minnie's hold 
 "fresh,'' would be materially and very comfortably 
 diminished. 
 
 This proved to be an affair of three or four days, an 
 interval employed by us in providing sea-going togs 
 and other requirements. Philip, however, usually 
 disappeared about the hour of the departure of the 
 steamer for Ryde, sometimes not returning till late at 
 night. I certainly felt that he might have evinced a 
 little less reserve as to his proceedings ; but there's no 
 relying upon a man in love, unless he wants you for 
 some purpose. 
 
 On the day the Minnie J imps was pronounced ready 
 for sea, my friend returned home in high spirits. He 
 carried a large parcel in his hand; and, opening it 
 with an air of exultation, spread upon the table 
 a large piece of bunting, on which was wrought
 
 232 Mutiny aboard the Minnie Jimps. 
 
 what appeared to be a cauliflower grafted upon a 
 cabbage. 
 
 " Her favourite plant/^ said Philip, tenderly. " It's 
 a water-lily. Our distinguishing flag. IVe arranged 
 a code of signals besides. The most complete 
 system. ■'' And he showed me a vast number of small 
 flags rolled tightly up together. 
 
 Immediately after breakfast, on the following 
 morning, we hastened on board, just, as Philip said, 
 " to hoist our flag,'' and, furthermore, to obtain some 
 general information with regard to the remarkable 
 manoeuvre of getting under weigh, my friend having 
 pledged his honour to appear off Ryde on the morrow. 
 The vessel really looked in excellent order. The 
 cabin was dry and clean, the stores were all on board, 
 everything was in its place, as Mr. Stodger, who was 
 stiU in charge, assured us ; and, altogether, our pros- 
 pects looked so clear, that we shortly afterwards dis- 
 missed the last-named gentleman, and determined to 
 remain on board the whole day, and adhere to Bulkeley's 
 plan of finding out everything for ourselves, instead of 
 listening to a mass of technical '^ cram." 
 
 For nearly four hours we studied ropes, and sails, 
 and every part of the vessel's gear, and, as several 
 yachts that had been moored about us got under 
 weigh during the morning, we had an opportunity of 
 watching the practical application of the hints sug- 
 gested by the mysterious objects we had been 
 examining. Philip's spirits rose so high, that I had 
 some difficulty in overruling his proposal to go out at 
 once and try our speed against a saucy little cutter 
 that dashed past us with an air of challenge, and
 
 Mutiny aboard the Minnie Jin^ps. 233 
 
 hauled up direct for Ejde. As^ however, the duration 
 of our cruise would be uncertain, it was resolved 
 to postpone it till the morrow. 
 
 In the evening, as we were sitting over our wine, 
 arrived Mr. Batseye. His manner was extremely- 
 gentlemanly. 
 
 " I have to apologize, sir,'^ he said, addressing 
 Phihp, whom he evidently regarded as the leading 
 spirit, " for appearing to interpose in a matter beyond 
 my province ; but may I inquire if the report that has 
 reached me be correct, that you are preparing to go 
 to sea in the Minnie alone? " 
 
 " My friend, sir, accompanies me,^' said Philip. 
 
 " Oh,'' said Mr. Batseye, " so, of course, I appre- 
 hended. But, with regard to crew ? I am fully 
 aware of the intrepidity, shall I call it ? which charac- 
 terizes our young British yachtsmen ; still, excuse me, 
 there is a point at which courage is lost in audacity, 
 and I can apply no term less emphatic to that degree 
 of hardihood which should take the Minnie to sea 
 under the circumstances you propose. Let me beg of 
 you to reconsider it. I can get you a couple — I 
 would rather say three — smart, experienced fellows, 
 and even then you will be short-handed." 
 
 I saw in Philip's face that the appeal was unsuc- 
 cessful. It was the difficulty of the scheme that 
 supplied its greatest charm; consequently, every 
 sensible word from Mr. Batseye's lips only served to 
 confirm his determination. 
 
 '' I beheve, Mr. Batseye," said Philip, '' a man to 
 ten tons is the usual thing. We are but twenty-five, 
 and really we are not quite such novices as you seem
 
 .234 Mutiny aboard the Minnie Jimps. 
 
 to imagine. As for any difficult matters, we liave 
 Hopsetter.-'^ 
 
 " AVliy, according to the very rule you mention — 
 one from which it is often necessary to depart — you 
 will require," said Mr. Batseye, "at all events, a 
 boy." 
 
 "Humph!" said Philip, "a boy. Well, eh, 
 Harry ? " 
 
 " I shouldn^t mind a boy, provided he is a boy," 
 said I, stoutly. 
 
 "He — that is, the boy I should recommend — is, 
 perhaps, one of the smallest you ever saw. You 
 might have him on board," said Mr. Batseye, care- 
 lessly, " whether you use him or not." 
 
 " Let the — the urchin," said Philip, " be onboard at 
 nine bells to-morrow. We shall certainly start at that 
 hour." 
 
 "Nine o'clock, sir ! Very good." And Mr. Bats- 
 eye, apparently smothering a smile, took his de- 
 parture. 
 
 The weather, next morning, was all that could be 
 desired. The lightest imaginable breeze just crisped 
 the glassy surface of the sea. It might, in short, 
 have been a day expressly devised for such a light- 
 heels as the Minnie Jimps. My friend was longer than 
 usual over his toilet; but, when he did appear, the 
 effect was most gratifying. He was every inch, except 
 the tail, the traditional British tar. His white ducks, 
 as loose in one part as they were tight in another, 
 ^ revealed the shining tips — and only them — of his 
 pumps. His blue jacket, with huge lappels, was very 
 much thrown back. He wore no waistcoat ; but a
 
 Mutiny aboard the Minnie Jlmps. 235 
 
 patent-leather belt with a great gold buckle com- 
 pressed his swelling waist, almost, as "he appeared to 
 conceive, into slenderness. On his head was a naval 
 officer^s cap with a deep gold band. 
 
 " "What cheer, my hearty ? How's her head ? '' 
 
 Of course I made what novelists call a ^' suitable 
 reply ; " after which we sat down gaily to breakfast, 
 and, that over_, collected our traps, not forgetting 
 Hopsetter, and marched down to the landing-place. 
 
 Mr. Stodger met us on the way with the promised 
 boy, whose sole appellation appeared to be " Toby."" 
 He was very round and small ; had a chubby, stolid 
 face one felt inclined to smack, and seemed a good 
 deal addicted to sucking his thumb. Mr. Stodger 
 touched his hat, popped the baggage and the boy into 
 the boat, and off we paddled towards the yacht. 
 
 " Cowes is all alive to-day,^' remarked Philip, rest- 
 ing on his oar. '^ What a lot of people walking ! 
 There must be something going on.''' 
 
 It certainly appeared so. Besides the people on 
 shore, almost all the yachts had their little party of 
 spectators on deck, and many already showed symp- 
 toms of getting under weigh. The windows and bal- 
 cony of the Royal Yacht Squadron Club-house were 
 crammed with gazers. 
 
 " I'll be hanged," said Philip, as we scrambled on 
 to the yacht's deck, and tied up the boat behind it, 
 " if I don't think they're looking at us ! " 
 
 There was no doubt of it. The glasses, of which 
 there were many, were one and all pointed in our 
 direction, and as this notice, though flattering, was 
 somewhat embarrassing, Bulkeley proposed that we
 
 236 Mutiny aboard tJie Minnie Jimjjs. 
 
 should take it easy^ and show ourselves in no hurry to 
 be off, until the interest should in some degree sub- 
 side. Accordingly, having stowed the boy in a comer 
 out of the way, we sat down on the convex deck, and 
 looked about us. 
 
 ''Her prowls the wrong way/^ observed the captain. 
 '^ We shall have to turn her round to get out.''^ 
 
 " She^il come round by herself when ^ve pull up 
 the anchor. The tide's going out/^ replied the first 
 lieutenant. 
 
 " Recollect, old boy,^^ said the senior officer, rather 
 hastily; "you pull the rudder the way you don't want 
 her to go. The eyes of Cowes are upon us. Confound 
 them ! It won't do to come to grief just Jiere. What 
 upon earth are they gaping at ? I vote we go.'"' 
 
 " Ay, ay, sir,^' said his lieutenant, cheerily. ^' Go it 
 is!^^ 
 
 '' I'll help you to wind up the anchor. Then I shall 
 take the helm." 
 
 '^ Come along. I say, though, don't we do some- 
 thing to the sails first ? " 
 
 "What's the good? We can't sail till she's 
 loose." 
 
 "By Jove, no, I forgot. Yo ho ! Man the wind- 
 lass ! " 
 
 A sort of "ch-chik" from the boy attracted our 
 attention ; but we continued our labour. Presently, 
 without any jerk or sense of movement on our part, 
 Cowes, the gazing multitude, the shipping, the 
 distant heights, seemed to be gliding swiftly away. 
 
 " She's loose ! " shouted the captain. " The sail — 
 the sail, Harry ! "
 
 Mutiny aboard the Minnie Jimps, 237 
 
 I darted to tlie mainsail — it was rolled up and 
 covered witli a piece of oiled canvas — and^ long before 
 I had got the latter oflP, we had swept past another 
 yacht at anchor^ so close, that we all but touched her. 
 Some very strong language issued from the latter, 
 and there were shouts from the shore ; but we were 
 far too flurried to attend to them. The Minnie Jimps 
 was away with us, and there was another vessel lying 
 right in our course. Even Toby took his thumb out 
 of his mouth, and was rushing forward, but Philip 
 pushed him out of the way, and flew to he]p me with 
 the obstinate fastenings of the sail. 
 
 '' The helm— the helm, PhiUp !" 
 
 Phihp bounded aft; but the Minnie scarcely 
 acknowledged the guiding impulse. There was a roar 
 from the threatened vessel, answered, happily, by 
 another close alongside, and Mr. Stodger leaped upon 
 the deck. 
 
 '^ Lord bless my heart alive ! Let go, sir ! let go \'' 
 
 "Let go what? Where ?^^ 
 
 Stodger dashed forward. Clank — splash. Minnie 
 Jimps turned her sharp nose to the stream and once 
 more we rode in safety, though so close to th^ vessel 
 astern that our dingey touched her, until hauled up 
 alongside. 
 
 " That was a close shave, gentlemen,'^ said Mr. 
 Stodger, drawing a long breath. " You, Toby — what 
 were you about ?" 
 
 Toby took his thumb out of his mouth with a pop, 
 but made no observation, and presently put it in 
 again. 
 
 " Xext time, before you weigh anchor, get your jib
 
 238 Mutiny ahoard the Mmnie JimiJS. 
 
 and mainsail loose, gentlemen ; and I think, sir, you 
 had better pitch that ere wolume overboard, and trust 
 to Toby/^ 
 
 '^Toby?^^ 
 
 '^ He knows a thing or two, does that boy. The 
 babby as he looks, you couldn^t hardly puzzle him/^ 
 
 " Couldn^t I V said Philip, with profound contempt. 
 
 Philip took up Hopsetter, and opening it at a ven- 
 ture, called to Toby, and asked him how a knot was 
 made. 
 
 " Which knot V asked Toby. '' Single or double 
 wall, single or double diamond, Matthew Walker, 
 spritsail-sheet, stopper, or shroud?" 
 
 The '^ Matthew Walker" was Philip's selection. 
 
 " Unlay end. One strand round the rope, and 
 through its own bight ; next strand underneath, 
 through bight of the first, and its own bight ; third 
 strand underneath, through both the other bights, 
 and through its own bight," said Toby, quick as 
 liofhtnino^. 
 
 Philip stood aghast. However, he quickly re- 
 covered his equanimity, and muttering, " Mere 
 memory," threw down his book, and motioned Toby 
 back to his corner. 
 
 Ever since Mr. Stodger's reappearance it had been 
 evident that our proceedings had ceased to excite the 
 smallest interest, even on board the vessel with which 
 we had so narrowly escaped collision. As the weather 
 continued beautiful in the extreme, we determined, 
 therefore, to recommence our voyage, abating our 
 pride so far as to accept a few hints from Mr. Stodger 
 with respect to our first operations.
 
 Mutiny aboard the Minnie Jimps. 239 
 
 Nothing, however, could induce Philip to consent 
 to Stodger^s remaining on board one moment after 
 we were fairly under weigh ; and this little business 
 completed, and the Minnie brought to the wind, Mr. 
 Stodger took a reluctant farewell, with a parting 
 caution not to keep her " too full ;" to which Philip re- 
 replied by pointing carelessly to the pump. 
 
 Truly, this Minnie Jinips of ours was a flyer ! No 
 sooner did her snowy sail catch the almost imper- 
 ceptible breeze, than, leaning gracefully over, she was 
 off like a greyhound. She flew past everything, stoop- 
 ing, and taking fresh bounds along the sea as though 
 she saw in the distance the glimmer of a cup. She 
 obeyed the helm beautifully, the captain declaring he 
 could steer her with a silk thread. Her speed, in fact, 
 was her only fault ; we were alongside and past other 
 vessels almost before we had time to avoid them. 
 Still the failing was a noble one. 
 
 " This is something like sailing, isn^t it ?" said 
 Phihp. "We shall be off Eyde in twenty minutes. 
 Just get out our flag.-'^ 
 
 At the instant I caught sight of a black object just 
 before us, on which tiny waves were breaking — a mud 
 bank. 
 
 " I say— here ! Hold hard ! Buff !— Pluff ! What 
 is it ? Pull to you V 
 
 " ' Luff,^ you mean,^^ said Philip ; " ay, ay, sir, luff 
 It is.^' 
 
 Luff it isn-'t would have been better. The sail, jib- 
 bing, nearly sent me overboard ; so that, for a second, 
 I could not see what was passing, but I heard a gruff 
 voice nearly under our bows sing out.
 
 240 Mutiny ahonrcl the Minnie Jimps. 
 
 '^ Hollo, you ! Wot sort o' game do you call this ? 
 Cutter a — lio — o — oy ? Isn^t there nothin' but 
 monkeys aboard ?" 
 
 This must have been in coarse allusion to Philip^s 
 natty cap. 
 
 In avoiding the Scylla of the mud-bank we had all 
 but stumbled upon the Charybdis of a dredging- 
 machine. Our little dingey slightly caressed the 
 rough side of the latter as we shot past. 
 
 We kept further from the land, and, having now a 
 clear field, skimmed gaily past the sunny slopes of 
 Osborne without further misadventure. Here the 
 breeze, light as it was before, fell yet lighter, and in a 
 few minutes died entirely away — the Minnie Jimps 
 nevertheless, continuing her course for some time with 
 almost undiminished speed, and stopping at last quite 
 suddenly, as though the absurdity of going on without 
 any wind had just struck her. The sails flapped 
 idly to and fro. The water was like glazed writing- 
 paper. It was a dead calm. 
 
 " What^s to be done now V said Philip. 
 
 We had run within a mile and and a half of Ryde. 
 A portion of Dabchick Villa was clearly distinguishable, 
 and as, with the assistance of the glass, the eye of 
 love could even discover a slender flagstafi" on the 
 corner of the roof, Philip resolved to inform Mrs. 
 Pollinger of our vicinity, and accordingly hoisted, first, 
 the distinguishing colour. The cabbage, however, de- 
 clined to expand in the still air ; and having been 
 presently hauled down, Philip chose three little flags 
 from his signal-chest, and, tying them one below the 
 other,hoistedthewhole. These, being of hghter texture.
 
 Mutiny aboard the Minnie Jimjps, 241 
 
 blew fairly out, and we now watched tlie flagstaff with 
 eager interest for a reply. 
 
 A considerable pause ensued, and Philip was getting 
 seriously uneasy, when up glided a small white object 
 like a laced nightcap. 
 
 " The old lady," said Philip, turning to me with 
 great complacency, " is nodding by the fire/^ 
 
 Philip made the answering signal_, whereupon the 
 nightcap descended. He then selected other flags, 
 and so animated a conversation followed, that I, having 
 no personal share in this flag-flirtation, lay down on the 
 deck and endeavoured to go to sleep. I was aroused 
 by the roll and dash of oars, strongly and regularly 
 pulled, and an authoritative voice hailed : 
 
 " Yacht, there ! " 
 
 " Hallo ! '' said Philip. 
 
 ^' Message from the Port- Admiral." 
 
 A twelve-oared barge dashed alongside, and the 
 person who had hailed — an officer in full uniform — de- 
 manded, " What yacht is this ? '' 
 
 " The Minnie Jimps, of Cowes." 
 
 ^' I am directed by the Port- Admiral to ask if you 
 are in distress." 
 
 '^ I think, sir," said Philip, " you are the bearer of 
 a very extraordinary question, especially as I have not 
 the honour of the Port-AdmiraPs personal acquaint- 
 ance : but if it would be any satisfaction to him to 
 know that both my friend and I are in easy circum- 
 stances, I beg you will say so." 
 
 "You misunderstand me, sir," rejoined our ques- 
 tioner, rather sternly, and standing up in his barge. 
 " If you are neither in difficulty, nor an intimate 
 
 R
 
 242 Mutiny ahoard the Minnie Jimps. 
 
 personal friend of Sir Thomas Tumpipes, what 
 explanation have you to offer of the extraordinary com- 
 munications you have been making to him, and which 
 may probably at this moment be in course of 
 transmission to the Admiralty? During this last 
 half-hour, sir, you have been addressing remarks 
 
 to the Port- Admiral which, none but a lunatic '' 
 
 " Port-Admiral ! Sir, I give you my honour I '^ 
 
 " Allow me, sir, to conclude. No sooner do you 
 arrive off Ryde, than you make signal — (^ urgent ') — 
 to speak the Admiral. That distinguished officer 
 attends. Clerks are summoned, the telegraph is put 
 in requisition, and the authorities at the Admiralty are 
 warned that important communications may be ex- 
 pected. Using the private government code of signals, 
 you proceed with this inquiry, ' Barling, how is your 
 naughty toothache V Sir Thomas, almost doubting the 
 evidence of his senses, contents himself with simply 
 replying, ' Unintelligible/ and awaits a second signal. 
 What follows? * How is the old cafs temper?^ The 
 Admu'al ordered me to take his barge, and seek an 
 instant explanation of your conduct.-*^ 
 
 " I have heard you to the end, sir,^^ said Philip, who, 
 though greatly astonished, had recovered his usual 
 self-possession, " and all I have to say in reply is, 
 that I never entertained the remotest intention of 
 signalling the Port-Admiral. My communications 
 were addressed to — to a totally different authority." 
 And Philip glanced anxiously in the direction of 
 Dabchick Villa, which had just thrown out a new 
 signal. 
 
 ^' You will allow me, sir, to inspect your signal-
 
 M^itiny aboard the Minnie Jimps. 243 
 
 book V said tlie officer, in a tone half- question, 
 half-command. 
 
 Philip assented, and handed him that work. 
 
 " Is it possible, sir/^ was the next question, " that 
 you are not aware of the serious offence you are com- 
 mitting, in availing yourself of the government's secret 
 signals ? How do you account for the possession of 
 this book V 
 
 My friend at once replied that he had bought it of a 
 Jew slopseller, of whom he had been making some 
 trifling purchases, and who had produced it, with the 
 corresponding flags, from a secret drawer, stating that 
 it was a system he had himself invented. 
 
 Our visitor could scarcely forbear smihng, but gave 
 full credence to Philip's ingenuous confession; and, 
 taking with him the book and colours, pulled away. 
 
 '' So much for that adventure ! "" said Philip, throw- 
 ing himself listlessly on the deck, and swinging his 
 legs over the side. '''After all, Harry, there is a 
 novelty in these little mishaps that cools and refreshes 
 one. Hallo ! '' he continued, drawing up his legs, 
 " confound it ! She is low in the water. Pm wet up 
 to the knees.'' 
 
 '' She must be a deal deeper than when we left," 
 said I. " We had to climb up to get on board. Hark ! 
 Do you hear anything funny ? " 
 
 '' There's a gurgling and washing. It's down 
 stairs. Here, you Toby, jump down and see what that 
 noise is ; and while you're there, look for my cigar- 
 case." 
 
 Toby, however, merely squinted down the hatchway 
 and came back, with his thumb, as usual, in his mouth. 
 
 E 2
 
 244 Mutiny aboard tJie Minnie J imps, 
 
 " Wellj slr_, what^s tlie matter ? '' asked captain 
 Pliilip. 
 
 Toby did not answer till the question had been 
 repeated ; tlien^ removing his thumb, quietly observed : 
 *' She's going down/' 
 
 Philip started up. 
 
 *^ Going down ? Is there any water in the cabin V 
 
 *^ Better nor four foot ! ■" was the alarming reply. 
 
 *' Harry, this is serious. Bustle, bustle ! '' 
 
 It was easy to say " bustle/' but neither of us had 
 the most distant idea what step to take, excepting only 
 that single one which should bring us to the boat. 
 
 '^ And there's wind a-coming," croaked Toby, 
 pointing to the distance, where a smart breeze was 
 already tossing up a sea. '^ That dingey ain't no use. 
 In ten minutes there'll be a sea she can't live in, with 
 us three." 
 
 " You imp ! " cried Philip, " what do you mean by 
 talking and doing nothing, with the squall almost 
 upon us ?" 
 
 '^ What can J do ? I'm a hurchin," said Toby, and 
 squatted down in his corner. 
 
 I looked at Philip. He was pale, and gazing with 
 a troubled expression at the augmenting sea, and the 
 vessels which, in every direction, were hastily shorten- 
 ing sail. But he was too proud to speak. I spoke 
 for him. 
 
 " Come, my lad," I said, '' I believe, after all, you 
 are the hand for a ship in trouble. You must be pilot 
 and captain — everything. Jump up ! Here it comes ! " 
 " All right. Bear a hand ! " shouted Toby, spring- 
 ing up, throwing off his pea-jacket, and darting to the
 
 Mutiny aboard the Minnie Jimps. 245 
 
 helm. He lashed it for a moment in a particular 
 position, then, flying at the sails, with voice and ges- 
 tures incited us to certain manoeuvres which had just 
 time to result in a close-reefed mainsail and storm-jib, 
 when the squall was upon us. Prepared as we were, 
 I still thought for a moment that all was over. Skil- 
 fully nursed by Toby, the Minnie did, however, once 
 more lift her labouring side, and the squall, for the 
 moment, passed harmlessly away. 
 
 " To the pump, both on you V* roared Toby. 
 " Work for your lives." 
 
 With some impatient directions from our extraor- 
 dinary commander, we rigged the machine, and set 
 hotly to work. 
 
 " If she^ll float till I run her a mile nearer, we're all 
 right ; but, look there, you swabs ! Don't you see 
 that second jib towing overboard? Bear a haud to 
 haul it in ! Look at that peak-halyard. Here, you 
 Phihp, catch hold of this a moment. Steady — so — 
 steady.-" 
 
 Philip obeyed with a touching docility. That 
 supreme disdain of all legislative enactments which 
 characterizes necessity, had reduced us both to a state 
 of servility on which it is painful to dwell. Philip's 
 only hope was that Dabchick Villa might yet be 
 unconscious of our humiliation. As for me, I watched 
 the enlarging chimneys of Ryde with gradually in- 
 creasing gratitude ; but the Minnie, losing her speed 
 as she filled, pressed heavily through the water, and 
 every time she dipped her sharp nose, seemed more 
 disinclined to lift it again. Pumping seemed to make no 
 difference ; but the tyrannical Toby would not suff'er a
 
 246 Mutiny aboard the Minnie Jimps. 
 
 moment^s cessation of the toil, and I was labouring 
 away, mechanically, when I was aware of a smart 
 altercation behind me. 
 
 Philip had the signal-halyards in his hand, and had 
 been preparing to hoist his distinguishing flag, when 
 the new commander fiercely interposed. 
 
 " Tel?e you won^t. If the wind catches that ^ere, 
 she^U turn turtle at once.^' 
 
 "Turtle V' said Philip, '' I '' 
 
 The vessel gave a feeble lurch, and the water broke 
 over her convex deck. 
 
 "She's settling'' said Toby. "I wish we was 
 half a mile nearer. But they'll pick us up. Haul up 
 the boat. Steady, now, steady.-" 
 
 We obeyed, and reluctantly quitted the sinking 
 clipper; Philip, as his last assertion of authority, 
 hoisting his beloved cauliflower. Toby skipped over 
 our backs, and seated himself comfortably in the stern- 
 sheets. 
 
 " Take an oar, sir,'' said Philip. 
 
 " I shan't," said Toby. " You'd be wanting to 
 steer, and you don't know nufiin about it. You and 
 him must pull me, and you'd better look alive. Here's 
 the sea coming bigger and bigger ! Out oars, I tell 
 yer, and give her headway !" 
 
 Philip tugged like a Trojan, but his want of condition 
 told terribly. He flung oS" his jacket and the dandy 
 cap ; and these Master Toby, with the utmost coolness, 
 picked up and put on. To describe the airs the boy 
 gave himself would be impossible. Alternately chaff- 
 ing and bullying us, he certainly made himself ample 
 amends for his previous silence and submission.
 
 Mutiny aboard the Minnie Jlwps. 247 
 
 AVe had not deserted the Minnie J imps much too 
 soon. Before we had struggled landwards more than 
 five hundred yards, the winner of nineteen cups made 
 a graceful gesture of farewell, and with her sails set, 
 and all her fabulous stores comfortably stowed, went 
 quietly to the bottom. 
 
 Once within the friendly shelter of the pier, the 
 water smoothed rapidly, and we had time to take note 
 that a large crowd had assembled to welcome us on 
 shore. Their shouts might be already heard, and a 
 waving of white handkerchiefs from a group in the 
 centre brought the colour to my friend's face. As we 
 approached, we distinguished a Bath- chair, in which 
 sat an elderly lady; while, beside the latter, stood a fair 
 creature in a bonnet, blushing (as we perceived on 
 landing) like a Provence rose. 
 
 The last thing we saw of Toby was that youth being 
 carried on people's shoulders, escorted by at least 
 three hundred mistaken men and boys, who regarded 
 him as a hero. 
 
 We dined that evening — nay, on several subsequent 
 evenings— at Dabchick Yilla. The danger of our 
 position had excited the sympathy of Mrs. Penquickle, 
 and prepared her to receive us with amenity. A few 
 weeks thereafter I found myself in the position of 
 '^ best man;" Philip Bulkeley being reduced to that 
 of bridegroom, conducting to the hymeneal altar 
 Seraphina Jane, only daughter of the late Greneral Sir 
 Kilpeck Bollinger, of Changaree Doll and Upper 
 Brook-street, Baronet.
 
 BLACK FLAGS IN THE CHANNEL. 
 
 HEN Scaliger gave it as Ms opinion tliat 
 piracy was practised by tlie English in a 
 peculiarly able manner, the compliment 
 was accounted for by the circumstance 
 that public opinion had not wholly dissociated the 
 corsair from ideas of chivalry and honour. There 
 were still nobly-born and accomplished sea-rovers — 
 Robin Hoods of the wave — disappointed, penniless^ 
 adventurous, eccentric gentlemen, choice in their 
 quarry, not always athirst for gore ; and there were 
 also mean skulkers, island-haunting thieves, the 
 scamps of the profession, who would cut the throats 
 of a whole crew for the matter of a basket of Greek 
 apples. 
 
 Thus the worthy critic was able to discern degrees 
 of merit in the buccaneering art, and resigned to a 
 later age the task of pointing out that the forcible 
 seizure of your neighbom^^s goods is robbery; the 
 cutting of peaceful throats, murder ; a profession that 
 shall embrace these features, piracy ; and the end of 
 piracy, Execution Dock.
 
 Black Flags in the Channel. 249 
 
 Sometlimg might, indeed, be advanced in excuse 
 of our former excellence, on the ground that Great 
 Britain has always been of an insular character. " I 
 have never so much as heard of a Dutch pirate/' 
 writes Captain Charles Johnson (a.d. seventeen hun- 
 dred and twenty-four). "It is not that I believe ^em 
 to be a whit honester than their neighbours, but 'tis a 
 reproach to ourselves for our want of industry. The 
 reason I take to be that, after a war, when the Dutch 
 ships are laid up, they have a fishery, where their sea- 
 men find comfortable bread." 
 
 As touching the bold, yet tender buccaneer — he of 
 the long low clipper and never-missing gun, who 
 danced around king's cruisers as if they were but 
 floating logs, executed manoeuvres undreamed of by 
 any board of naval examiners, and finally popping 
 into an inaccessible haven, burned his clipper, and 
 became a wealthy and respected burgess — //e, fine 
 fellow ! yet survives — in fiction. 
 
 These lawless lawgivers had by no means bad ideas 
 of what was needful for the commonwealth. There 
 is an air of wisdom and sobriety about some of the 
 following enactments : — 
 
 1 . Every man has a vote in afi'airs of moment, and 
 an equal title to the strong liquors. 
 
 2. Every man to be called fairly in turn — by list, on 
 board of prizes — because (over and above their shares) 
 they shall be, on these occasions, allowed a shift of 
 clothes. But if they defraud the company to the 
 value of a dollar, marooning [setting on shore, on 
 some desolate cape or island] shall be their punish- 
 ment.
 
 250 Blach Flags in the Channel. 
 
 '6. No person to game at cards or dice for money. 
 
 4. Lights and candles to be put out at eiglit o^clock. 
 If any of the crew remain inclined for drinking, they 
 shall do it decently on deck. 
 
 6. No woman to be allowed amongst us. If any 
 man be found seducing any of that sex to go to sea, 
 he shall suffer death. If any woman fall into our 
 hands, a sentry shall be put over her, to prevent ill 
 consequences from so dangerous an instrument of 
 di\asion. 
 
 8. No striking one another on board, but every man^s 
 quarrels to be ended on shore, at sword or pistol — 
 thus : The quarter-master accompanies the parties with 
 what assistance he thinks proper, and turns the dis- 
 putants back ,to back, at such a distance. At the 
 word of command, they turn and fire immediately (or 
 else the piece is knocked out of their hands). If both 
 miss, they come to their cutlasses. 
 
 9. No man to talk of breaking up our way of 
 living, till each has shared a thousand pounds. The 
 wounded to have compensation. 
 
 11. The musicians to have rest on the Sabbath- 
 day. 
 
 After such articles, it is painful to add that certain, 
 whose numbers are omitted, were of so terrible an 
 import, that even the repentant criminals whose con- 
 fessions furnished the above, could not be induced to 
 reveal them. An excellent law by the way — the 
 ninth — that against secession. It took some tiuie to 
 provide every pocket, down to that of the smallest 
 boy, with a thousand pounds in hard money ; and, 
 usually, before that period, everybody was either too
 
 Blach Flags In the Channel. 251 
 
 deep in crime to find safety elsewhere, or too much 
 imbued with the greed of gain to wish for change : 
 
 Too late would the captain recede, 
 
 He laments his sad trade, and would doff it ; 
 
 Which nothing prevented — mdeed — 
 Excepting the very great profit. 
 
 The system of privateering — letters of marque, now 
 justly discountenanced — proved a very hotbed of piracy, 
 and turned out many a skilful professor. The distinc- 
 tions were sometimes remarkably fine, insomuch that 
 even doctors disagreed. There was a very pretty quarrel 
 in sixteen hundred and ninety-three, when some 
 gentlemen rovers having been captured in the very 
 chops of the Channel, Dr. Oldish, king^s advocate, 
 was directed to prosecute them. To the surprise of 
 the public, the doctor flatly refused : giving it as his 
 opinion that " they were no pirates, nor ought to be 
 prosecuted as such ;" whereupon, being summoned 
 before the Cabinet Council, Mr. Secretary Trenchard 
 demanded the reason of his opinion. 
 
 Dk. 0. '' Pirates be common enemies to all 
 mankind, but these have a commission, signed 
 ' J. H./ and dated at the Court of Saint Cermains, 
 for to bring prizes and judgment into the Court of 
 Admiralty, before Thomas Shadford, at Brest, or 
 elsewhere. This agreeth not with piracy." 
 
 Sec. T. " But King James hath lost his sovereignty, 
 in that he hath parted from the crown, and therewith 
 the power of granting such commissions." 
 
 Dr. 0. " A king may be deposed of his crown, 
 and yet hath a right to war — and with it all the
 
 252 Blade Flags in the Channel. 
 
 ways and consequences of war — pignoration s and 
 reprisals/^ 
 
 Sec. T. "Yea, that is law, wlien the King is 
 deposed. But how if he abdicate V 
 
 Dr. 0. " If he did truly abdicate, then he is no 
 other than a private gentleman, and cannot grant 
 commissions.''^ (The doctor went on to point out that 
 King James, though driven from England, renewed the 
 war in Ireland, where his followers were treated as 
 enemies, not as ^^ rogues,'^ and that a colourable 
 authority remained .in King James, at all events in 
 France, where his abdication was still unrecognised.) 
 
 Lord Devon. " What if Monsieur Pompone, or any 
 other minister of state, should grant the like com- 
 missions V^ 
 
 Dr. 0. " Why, then they would not be good, such 
 power being only given to the admiral.^' 
 
 " Sec. T. and Lord Faulklakd (in great heat). 
 
 "I Pray, doctor, let us deal more closely with 
 
 you, for your reasons are such as amount to high 
 treason ! Pray, what do you think of the abdica- 
 tion ?" 
 
 Dr. 0. " That is an odious, ensnaring question. 
 I think of the abdication as you do ; for since it is 
 voted, ^tis binding in England. But these men were 
 in a foreign country, and though King James be not 
 king here, yet the common reputation of him as king 
 thei^e shall excuse them.-'^ 
 
 Sir Thomas Pinfold declared himself of the same 
 opinion. Doctor Newton desired space to consider. 
 Doctor Wallner scrupled to meddle with an affair of 
 blood.
 
 Black Flags in the Channel. 253 
 
 Doctor Littleton wound up the question : King 
 James was a private person. We had no war with 
 such ; and, if he did desire any, — ' oerarium non habet' 
 — he has no cash, no treasury, no capacity for making 
 war. Wherefore these persons who adhere to him 
 are not privateers, but pirates. 
 
 Doctor Oldish thereupon resigued ; and Doctor 
 Littleton, who had so successfully snubbed him, 
 succeeding to his post, tried and condemned the 
 prisoners. 
 
 The latter drew up a petition, showing, with much 
 acuteness, how, after the surrender of Limerick, 
 thousands of soldiers, with guns, horses, ammunition, 
 &c., had been fairly exchanged, and allowed to pass 
 into the service of the King of France. If so, why 
 should King James's sea-service commissioners be 
 considered '^^annul '^ ? 
 
 However, some of them, if not all, were 
 executed. 
 
 The palmy days of maritime knight-errantry were, 
 perhaps, about the beginning of the last century. The 
 bold British captain had his full share. In justice let us 
 say he did not always begin it ; but when the grasping 
 Spanish West Indian authorities, on pretence of 
 stopping free trade, commissioned armed vessels to 
 seize every ship that ventured within fifteen miles of 
 their coast; and when many an honest, innocent 
 Jamaica ship fell a victim to a liberal interpretation of 
 that decree, mercantile patience gave way, and 
 " something^' in the way of reprisal beiug winked at, 
 soon grew into a very bulky matter indeed. 
 
 For, quite a little fleet — two ships and three sloops
 
 254 Black Flags in the Channel. 
 
 — sailing from Jamaica^ under Captain Henry Jen- 
 nings, to the Grulf of Florida, tliere found the 
 Spaniards busy, at the bottom of the sea, groping for 
 the relics of their. Plate fleet, lost there two years 
 before. A little exchange of civilities ensued, ending 
 in the departure of Captain Henry Jennings with the 
 whole of the recovered treasure (excepting what had 
 been previously sent to the Havanna), amounting, 
 with the proceeds of a Spanish vessel bagged on the 
 way home, to four hundi^ed and ten thousand pieces of 
 eight, or about ninety thousand pounds. 
 
 The Spaniards complained to the Jamaica Govern- 
 ment. The latter — -first permitting the adventurers 
 to dispose of their cargo to good advantage, and 
 furnish themselves with all necessary stores — frankly 
 repudiated the entire transaction ; and Captain Jen- 
 nings, placed without the pale of the law, put to 
 sea. 
 
 Reprisal begets reprisal. The Spaniards, with some 
 small war-ships, fell upon our vessels, twenty-one in 
 number, cutting logwood in Campeachy Bay. The 
 prisoners, crowded into three sloops, were set at 
 liberty, and, in their despoiled and desperate con- 
 dition, falling in with the rovers, threw in their lot 
 among their countrymen. 
 
 Even these children of the sea need some friendly 
 haven, and an occasional dockyard ; and Providence, 
 the largest of the Bahamas, with a fine harbour, was 
 henceforth- their chosen refuge. From this point, 
 the gentlemen carried on their game so much to the 
 discontent of the whole sea-going public, that some 
 vigorous steps became indispensable. George Rex
 
 Black Flags in the Channel. 255 
 
 accordingly sent a proclamation, and a fleet numbering 
 fourteen vessels, with three hundred and thirty-six 
 guns (not Armstrong's) to enforce it. 
 
 The proclamation went first, and was captured, ship 
 and all. But, the fleet approaching, things took a 
 turn, and a somewhat disorderly debate resulted in the 
 surrender of Commodore Jennings and his most dis- 
 tinguished lieutenants, including the honoured names 
 of Hornigold, Teach (the renowned Black-beard), 
 Martel, Fife, Wilhams, La Bouche, Pennar, England, 
 Burgess, Cocklyn, Sample, and Yane. 
 
 If it be permitted to dispose at once, parenthetically, 
 of this band of illustrious men, it is only more 
 effectually to point the moral of their tale. Thus 
 then it befell : 
 
 Hornigold, Williams, Burgess, La Bouche — cast 
 away. 
 
 Teach and Pennar, slain, and their crews taken. 
 Fife killed by his own men. 
 Martel left on an uninhabited island. 
 Cocklyn, Sample, Yane — hanged. 
 England (most hapless of all), married, at point of 
 stake, to an aged princess of Madagascar. 
 
 Some of these worthies, as may be surmised, from 
 the nature of their end, merely made a feint of 
 surrendering, and returned, on the first opportunity, 
 to their former mode of life. Among the rest, Yane 
 escaped at once in a small swift vessel, firing a gun 
 at the nearest king's ship as he departed. 
 
 The royal commodore, Ptogers, now established 
 himself in the island, and, forming the remainder of 
 the quondam rovers into a sort of naval reserve, under
 
 256 Black Flags in the Channel. 
 
 proper comtnand, endeavoured to employ tliem in 
 legitimate trade. 
 
 This_, however, was not so easy, as was soon exem- 
 plified in the case of John Augur, a steady and 
 respectable old pirate, whose good conduct had induced 
 the governor to entrust him with the command of a 
 pro vision- sloop. Unluckily, on John's very first trip, 
 two strange sloops spoke him. During the dialogue, 
 the old corsairs' impulse came upon him with such 
 irresistible power, that in the twinkling of an eye, the 
 two strangers were despoiled of money and goods, and 
 he himself was on his way in search of fresh adventures. 
 The expedition, however, was cut prematurely short 
 by a tornado, which dismasted the sloop, and forced 
 her back on the Bahama group, where the crew were 
 captured, taken back to Providence, tried, and 
 condemned, ten in number, on the evidence of the 
 eleventh. 
 
 Crowds of their ancient comrades stood round the 
 scafibldj but the power of law was dominant; 
 there was no thought of rescue. *' I had never thought 
 to see the time,'"' shouted one of the criminals in 
 despair, '^ that ten such men as we should be tied up, 
 and hanged like dogs, with four hundred of their 
 sworn companions standing by ! '' 
 
 The taking of Providence, though it broke up a 
 dangerous combination, scattered the elements of 
 piracy far and wide. The backsliding of John Augur 
 augured badly for any future confidence that might 
 be reposed in pirate penitence, and inactivity soon 
 becoming intolerable, one by one the ex-professors 
 slipped ofi" and renewed their former course. Nor was
 
 Black Flags in the Channel. 257 
 
 it always prudent to pursue. So catching was the 
 epidemic, that the officer frequently became the thief. 
 For example, those unlucky captains, George Dew 
 and Richard Tew, having been commissioned to attack 
 the French at Goree, set sail with honest enough 
 purpose ; but George being driven back in a storm, 
 Richard, continuing his voyage alone, encountered 
 temptation in the shape of a rich Indiaman. So he 
 plundered the rich Indiaman, and, sharing with his 
 crew wealth sufficient to give even the common sailors 
 three thousand pounds apiece, steered for Rhode 
 Island. 
 
 How pirate made pirate is well illustrated by the 
 fact that four of the most remarkable rover-captains 
 of their time had been prisoners to each other. 
 "Wynter (himself a prisoner to pirates) took England, 
 England took Davis, Davis took the renowned Bar- 
 tholomew Roberts. England^s maiden essay was the 
 capture of a British barque, the Pearl, which he fitted 
 up " on the piratical account," and therewith took, in 
 one cruise, nine other British vessels : out of the crews 
 of which at least one-half took voluntary service with 
 their captors. Good Captain England was a remark- 
 ably successful commander, but, having pn objectionable 
 taint of generosity about him, gradually lost credit 
 with his men, and was marooned with two other over- 
 gentlemanly persons on the coast of Madagascar. His 
 lamentable fate has been told. 
 
 Davis, taken by the above, was a native of Milford ; 
 honest and brave, he refused to sign the piratical 
 articles, swearing he would rather be shot, as they 
 had shot his captain : whereupon the rover bade
 
 258 Blacli Flags in the Channel. 
 
 him return on board his own ship^ and make sail. 
 He also gave him sealed orders to be opened in a 
 certain latitude ; which being done^ they were found 
 to contain a free gift of both ship and cargo to Davis 
 and his men. Again the tempter had all but triumphed. 
 Davis, indeed, desired to follow the liberal instructions 
 they had received, but the men refused, and, proceed- 
 ing to their proper destination, gave him up to the 
 authorities. Nevertheless, having as yet been guilty 
 of no act of piracy, he was speedily released, and thence 
 sailed for Providence, intending to join the rovers. 
 Finding the island in possession of the Government, 
 he took service in a small trading sloop, corrupted 
 the crew, and, seizing the vessel, captured a larger, 
 and commenced a career seldom equalled in the history 
 of wild adventure. 
 
 Roberts, taken by the above, sailed from London 
 " in an honest employ '' — that is to say, for Guinea, 
 to take in slaves — when he was himself made prisoner. 
 This occurred immediately before the death of his 
 captor; an event which threw the honourable company 
 into great disorder, there being at the moment no 
 one worthy to succeed him. A sort of cabinet council 
 was, therefore, convened, at which the leading members 
 of the company, who had given themselves the title of 
 " lords,^^ expressed their views. 
 
 So far as cabinet secrets have been suffered to tran- 
 spire, my Lord Ashplant (over a bowl) proposed — 
 
 " That it was no signification who was dignified 
 with title, seeing that all good Governments had the 
 supreme power lodged in the community. Should a 
 captain be so saucy '^ (such were his Lordship^s em-
 
 Blach Flogs in the Channel. 259 
 
 pliatic words) ^^ as at any time to exceed prescription, 
 why down taith him ! It will be a caution to his suc- 
 cessor. However, it is my advice that, before we get 
 fully drunk, we pitch upon a man of courage (and 
 navigation) who shall ward us from the dangers of an 
 instable element and the consequence of falling by 
 the ears, and such a one I take Eoberts to be. A 
 fellow, I think, in all respects entitled to your esteem 
 and favour.'^ 
 
 The noble lord^s address was received with much 
 applause, but my Lord Sympson, an ambitious, and 
 at that moment, somewhat intoxicated person, swore 
 that in his opinion they had made a foul choice — yet, 
 after all, it mattered little who was chosen, so it 
 wasn't a Papist ; and, his religious scruples having been 
 set at rest, he staggered sulkily away. 
 
 Mr. Roberts was then called in, and having been 
 duly informed of the honour conferred on him, 
 accepted it in a speech of much modesty, but of 
 doubtful compliment : concluding that, " Since he 
 had dipped his hands in muddy water, and must go 
 a-pirating, 'twas better being a commander than a 
 common man." 
 
 The new captain's success bade fair to eclipse that 
 of his predecessor, and he was yet in the full tide 
 of prosperity, when my Lord Walter Kennedy — a 
 turbulent peer, who acted as first mate — availed him- 
 self of the temporary absence of his chief to make off 
 with the ship and treasure. His lordship, however, 
 whose early education had been confided to an eminent 
 pickpocket, possessed so little skill in navigation, 
 that he quickly lost influence with his men, and, the 
 
 s 2
 
 260 Blade Flags in the Channel. 
 
 company breaking up, my lord, with a few followers, 
 made sail for the Irish Channel. Here they encoun- 
 tered such severe storms, that, so far from making 
 prizes, they had the utmost difficulty in preserving 
 their own precious lives. At length, they made the 
 north-west coast of Scotland, ran their vessel ashore 
 in a small estuary, and landing, marched up the 
 country. Betrayed by their own riotous, roaring 
 manners, seventeen of the number were presently 
 lodged in gaol : nine of whom were afterwards 
 hanged. Lord Kennedy, with one attendant, escaped 
 for the time, but imprudently venturing to London, 
 was recognised by the mate of a plundered ship, 
 and committed to the Marshalsea. 
 
 Nothing now remained to the persecuted noble but 
 to turn king^s evidence ; he accordingly lost not a 
 moment in denouncing some fifteen of his most inti- 
 mate and particular friends. Unluckily, he was not 
 able to give their addresses, and one only being taken 
 (who was acquitted), my lord was himself arraigned, 
 and made his last public appearance, amidst a large 
 concourse of unsympathising persons, on the nine- 
 teenth of July, seventeen hundred and twenty-one. 
 
 To return to our true hero. Captain Roberts. That 
 energetic officer, losing no time in weak regrets, at 
 once reorganised his band, supplied himself with a 
 fresh ship, and went to work again as vigorously as 
 ever. We may not follow him step by step, but 
 must jump at once to the crowning exploit of his 
 illustrious career. 
 
 What gallant stranger is this, gliding into Whydal 
 Roads, with the ensign of St. George, a black silk
 
 Blach Flags in the Channel. 261 
 
 flag at his mizen-peak, and a jack and pennant of the 
 same ? The flag hath a death in it, with an hour-glass 
 in one hand and cross-bones in the other ; and, under- 
 neath, a heart dropping three drops of blood. 
 
 Here are eleven sail in the road — of all nations, 
 some carrying thirty guns, but one glance at the 
 black silk flag is enough for them. All strike, and 
 pay different amounts of ransom. The ceremony is 
 presided over by a gallant figure, dressed in a rich 
 crimson damask waistcoat and breeches, a red feather 
 in his hat, a gold chain round his neck, with a diamond 
 cross appended to it, a sword in his hand, and two 
 pair of pistols at the end of a silk shng, flung over 
 his shoulders. The receipt he gives is as follows : — 
 
 " This is to certify whom it doth or doth not concern, that we, 
 
 Gentlemen of Fortune, have received pounds of gold-dust, 
 
 for ransom of the , Captain , so that we discharge the 
 
 said ship." 
 
 It is signed by two noble lords — Sutton and Sympson 
 — who, however, being in a waggish mood, prefer sub- 
 scribing themselves by the names of 
 
 " Aaron Whifflingpen, 
 " Simon Tugmutton," 
 
 which is held not to invalidate the instrument, but 
 rather to legalize it, as showing the perfect goodwill 
 and humour with which the whole aflair was con- 
 ducted. 
 
 This was his last adventure : — 
 
 Here ends thy glory, here the fates untwine 
 The last bright remnant of so fair a line. 
 
 From that day forth, the avenger — in the shape of his 
 Majesty's ships Swallow and Weymouth — dogged his
 
 262 Blach Flags in the Channel 
 
 every step^ until, on tlie morning of the tentli of 
 February, as Captain Roberts is at breakfast in his 
 cabin, in company with a gentleman whose vessel he 
 has just captured — the meal being composed of a 
 savoury dish of " Solomon Gundy,^^ and some of the 
 prisoner's beer — the king's cruiser suddenly rounds the 
 Cape. The greater part of the crew are drunk, passively 
 courageous, unfit for service. Notwithstanding, the 
 dauntless rover, in pursuance of a hastily-arranged plan, 
 steers straight for the man-of-war, receives and returns 
 her fire, and then, hoisting his black flag, shoots away 
 with all the sail he can pack. The helmsman is un- 
 steady, the ship is taken aback, and the enemy is 
 again at hand. At this critical moment a grape-shot 
 struck the rover in the throat. He settled himself on 
 the tackles of a gun, which one Stephenson observing, 
 ran to his assistance ; but, not seeing- his hurt, swore 
 at him and bade him stand up and fight like a man. 
 However, when he found his captain was certainly 
 dead, he gushed into tears, and wished the next shot 
 might be his lot. They presently threw him overboard 
 with his arms and ornaments on, as he had ordered in 
 his lifetime. 
 
 Roberts was one of the latest of his type of sea- 
 ranger. The Peace of Ryswick, which laid up the 
 privateer, deprived many an honest thief of the only 
 means of livehhood he had taught himself to relish. 
 '' A merry life, and a short one," might still be his 
 motto ; but if it were merry, it was also unquestionably 
 short ; for the police of the seas was vindicating itself, 
 and the pirate no longer possessed a single haven that 
 he could call his own. Some petty buccaneering.
 
 Blade Flarj, in the Channel 263 
 
 hardly deserving of the name, continued, however, to 
 be done ; and, oddly enough, our own well-guarded 
 coasts were generally the scene; the honest indus- 
 trious Dutchman the victim. Thus^ in seventeen 
 hundred and sixty-eight, a band of daring fellows, 
 hovering on the Kent and Sussex shores, defied for a 
 long period all attempts to catch them. Making the 
 port of Hastings their rendezvous, they boarded and 
 robbed numbers of ships coming up channel, and 
 lived for seven years wholly upon the fruit of their 
 depredations. At length the ruffians, encountering a 
 large richly-freighted Dutch ship that offered unusual 
 resistance, murdered the whole crew and burned the 
 vessel ; after which, they returned to Hastings to dis- 
 pose of the plunder and enjoy themselves. Fortunately, 
 one of the miscreants was overheard jesting with a 
 comrade, respecting the entertaining manner in which 
 one of the murdered Dutchmen "wriggled^' about, 
 after having his backbone nearly severed with an axe. 
 Information was forwarded to the authorities in London, 
 who despatched a strong party of military to Hastings, 
 while a vessel of war anchored in the roadstead. 
 
 On the day following the arrival of the soldiers, 
 which had been managed with great secrecy, the 
 mayor was openly accosted by one of the pirate gang, 
 who demanded the meaning of the war-ship's appear- 
 ance, and the rumour of the arrival of military. His 
 worship, refusing explanation, was instantly set upon 
 by his questioner, and by others of the band who had 
 been lurking near; but some soldiers opportunely 
 arriving, a fight ensued, resulting in the capture of 
 the pirates, who, with other of their associates subse-
 
 264 BlacJc Flags in the Cliannel. 
 
 quently taken, were sent to London and lodged in tlie 
 Marshalsea. 
 
 In seventeen hundred and twenty-nine occurred the 
 singular case of John Smith_, whose real name was 
 Gow. This worthy sailed as mate in the George, from 
 a Scotch haven. The crew consisted of twenty-four. 
 At the head of eight of these, Gow rose one night 
 upon the officers, murdered the captain, surgeon, chief 
 mate, and supercargo, and, hoisting the black flag, 
 steered for Spain. Four more of the crew had volun- 
 tarily cast in their lot with them ; the rest were 
 retained to do the harder work of the ship and treated 
 with extreme cruelty. They had a tolerably successful 
 cruise, but, having become somewhat notorious in that 
 locality, it became advisable to shift the scene, and 
 Gow accordingly steered for the Orkneys. While 
 lying at anchor in a secluded bay, one of the crew, 
 who had been detained against his will, escaped, and 
 hastening to Kirkwall, alarmed the authorities. Ten 
 more of the dissatisfied crew departed in the long-boat- 
 In spite of these ominous circumstances, the daring 
 leader not only did not put to sea, but organized a 
 land expedition, in which they plundered the house of 
 Mr. High- Sheriff Honeyman of all that was portable; 
 compelling that gentleman^s piper to head the return 
 procession, playing a triumphal march. 
 
 From hence, Gow proceeded to call upon (and 
 plunder) an old friend and schoolfellow, Mr. Fea, who 
 resided at the small adjacent island. Calf Sound. Mr. 
 Fea was a man of courage and discretion. By the 
 joint exercise of these qualities, he not only made 
 prisoners of the party sent ashore, but ultimately of
 
 Black Flags in the Channel. 265 
 
 the whole of the dangerous and desperate band, twenty- 
 eight in number. Gow, and six others, suffered at 
 Execution Dock ; the former^ s case being rendered 
 more notable by his obstinate refusal to plead. How- 
 ever, when on the point of being pressed to death, he 
 relented, and was convicted with the rest. 
 
 Among the last of the '^ gentlemen of fortune '' who 
 courted that goddesses favour in British waters, was 
 Mr. Georo-e Wood, who sailed from Bristol in seven- 
 teen hundred and sixty-nine, in the Blach Frince. 
 They were barely at sea before the crew mutinied, 
 made the officers prisoners, and were debating as to 
 the mode in which they should be put to death, when 
 the earnest entreaties of the victims induced them to 
 consent that they should be simply turned adrift in a 
 small boat, slenderly provisioned. After doing this 
 at such a distance from land that the unfortunate men 
 set adrift were never heard of again, the pirates hoisted 
 the black flag and sailed for Brazil, making prizes in 
 their way. While in port, one of their company fell 
 under the suspicion of a purpose to run away : where- 
 upon a regular court-martial was held and the culprit 
 sentenced to be hanged at the yard-arm, the execution 
 being deferred only long enough to enable the ex- 
 emplary captain to read a long printed sermon to the 
 condemned. 
 
 It was reserved for a brutal miscreant, named Philip 
 Roche, to cap the horrors of modern piracy. This 
 man, residing at Cork, resolved to turn sea-robber, 
 and, drawing one Neal, a fisherman, two brothers, 
 Cullen, and a man named Wise, into a confederacy, 
 took passage with them in a French vessel about to
 
 266 Blach Flags in the Channel. 
 
 sail for Nantz. Roche was himself so able a sailor, 
 that he was frequently allowed to take charge of the 
 ship. One dark November night — the master and 
 mate being both asleep in their cabin — Roche and his 
 accomplices seized and murdered the four Frenchmen 
 left on deck; not, however, without resistance; Roche 
 himself declaring, in his subsequent confession, that 
 they were '^ all over wet with blood, as if they had 
 been dipped in water. Kor did they regard it more." 
 The poor master and mate, alarmed, and hastening on 
 deck, were seized, tied back to back, and thrown into 
 the sea. 
 
 Roche now steered for Lisbon ; but meeting with 
 very bad weather, ran back, and put into Dartmouth, 
 where he hired three more hands, and sailed again for 
 Rotterdam. Here a gentleman, named Annesley, 
 freighted and took passage in their vessel to England ; 
 but on the way, in a rude and stormy night, ^' it being 
 very dark, they took up their passenger and flung him 
 Qverboard — who swam about the ship a pretty while, 
 callino: out for life, and tellino^ them thev should have 
 all his goods for ransom, but in vain.-'^ Roche was 
 shortly afterwards taken, and immediately proposed 
 to turn evidence, promising to convict three others^ 
 " worse than himself." Justice readily accepted these 
 conditions ; and Roche only discovering two, who were 
 comparatively innocent, paid well-deserved forfeit at 
 Execution Dock. 
 
 It may be permitted, by way of postscript to these 
 notes, to refer to a very singular story lately revived 
 by a gentleman who addressed a public meeting on 
 the subject of the American " difficulty," and who, in
 
 Blacl^ Flags in the Channel 267 
 
 doing so^ also named Captain Wilkes, of the San, 
 Jacinto, as the hero of the tale. Friends of the latter 
 gentleman have since separated his name from any 
 concern in the matter ; but seeing that time has let 
 slip some few of the attendant circumstances and has 
 misrepresented others, here, in brief, is the true 
 narrative : — 
 
 The United States brig-of-war Somers, ten guns, 
 the ship^s company numbering in all seventy-five 
 persons, was returning home in December, eighteen 
 hundred and forty- two, from the African station, under 
 the command of Lieutenant- Commander Slidell Mac- 
 kenzie — brother, it is understood, of the Southern 
 Commissioner, he having assumed the latter name. 
 
 AVhen within three days^ sail of St. Thomases, it 
 came to the captain^s knowledge that a mutiny was 
 projected on board, under the direction of Midship- 
 man Philip Spencer, a youth of nineteen, the son or 
 nephew of the then secretary-at-war — the other ring- 
 leaders being Samuel Cromwell, boatswain^s mate, 
 and Elisha Small, seaman. 
 
 The informant was the purser^ s steward, Wales, to 
 whom the conspirators had imparted a portion of their 
 scheme, and who affected co-operation in order to learn 
 more. He was, nevertheless, so narrowly watched, 
 that, finding it impossible to communicate with the 
 captain, he revealed the whole to the purser, who 
 promptly made it known. Thereupon Spencer, Crom- 
 well, and Small were secured, and the former^s papers 
 being examined, the whole nefarious plot appeared, 
 set forth to the minutest detail. 
 
 The brig was to be captured at Saint Thomas's,
 
 268 Blade Flags in the Channel. 
 
 because at tliat port she could be best provided with 
 stores, water, &c., for the piratical cruise which was 
 to follow. (It may be mentioned that the Somers was 
 a new vessel, a very fast sailer; in fact, in construction, 
 size, and speed, the beau ideal of a pirate !) At the 
 time agreed upon, a scuffle was to be raised on the 
 forecastle, while the deck was in charge of Midshipman 
 Rogers, who was to be seized and flung overboard, 
 Spencer was then to enter the cabin and kill the 
 captain : while others, stationed at the steerage-hatch. 
 were to murder the whole of the remaining officers as 
 they came up : the surgeon excepted. The crew were 
 then to be mustered, and all who refused to join the 
 mutineers were to be thrown overboard. 
 
 This completed, they were to make for the Isle of 
 Pines, where they were to meet a confederate, then 
 cruising oflP New York, capture every ship they could, 
 murder all the males, and sink the vessel, so that 
 nothing should be left to tell the horrible tale. The 
 arrangements for division of spoil, and the allotment 
 of female prisoners, Avith other laws, were also drawn 
 up in detail in Spencer^s handwriting. 
 
 The whole plan was interlarded with Greek charac- 
 ters, by way of disguise; and the test oath was to 
 be:— 
 
 ^^ Do you swear that you have no fear of shedding 
 blood ? ^'^ 
 
 A painful responsibility rested upon Captain Mac- 
 kenzie, in dealing with a case so new and terrible. 
 Who could say how far the contamination had spread ? 
 To crush it at all hazards was his solemn duty. A 
 drum-head court-martial was convened, and it was
 
 Black Flags in the Chaund. 269 
 
 decided that the safety of the vessel and the Hves of 
 all on board, demanded nothing short of the prompt 
 and immediate execution of the three ringleaders. 
 
 One hour was accorded to the guilty and unhappy 
 men, and, at its expiration, the three were hanged at 
 the yard-arm, in presence of the whole crew. Be- 
 tween ten and twenty sailors, suspected of complicity, 
 were placed in irons, and conveyed to New York for 
 trial. 
 
 Some attempt has been made to fix upon Captain 
 Mackenzie the charge of over- severity, as also to 
 show that the extreme penalty was thus promptly 
 carried out in opposition to the wishes and earnest 
 entreaties of most of the officers. There is no ground 
 whatever for the latter assertion. As to the former, 
 we may leave Captain Mackenzie's defence to the pen 
 of an American commentator of the time : — 
 
 " Let the mind for a moment picture to itself the 
 fastest vessel in our service, fully manned and equip- 
 ped, a piratical brig, hovering on our shores, and 
 laying wait for vessels between this port and every 
 other in the world. Imagine but a portion of the 
 horrors that must have resulted from the consumma- 
 tion of this hellish purpose, and then, if you can, 
 condemn him who has fearlessly discharged a most 
 painful duty, and assumed the power to carry into 
 effect the spirit of our laws, when in a position where 
 its for7ns could not be complied with.''
 
 GIGANTIC ATTRACTION. 
 
 NEVER, from the story-book period of 
 cliildliood^ entirely sliook off my intense 
 distrust of everything that, in human 
 form, approached exaggerated propor- 
 tions. Many a delightful polka have I sacrificed to 
 the craven fear (I am of the feminine gender) which 
 prompted me to transfer some immensely tall partner 
 to my sister — rather than put finger on his colossal 
 arm. Strangely enough, mingled with all this was a 
 kind of fascination that irresistibly impelled me to 
 approach^ or converse about, the thing I feared. To 
 gaze, however, was one thing; to touch, another. 
 
 This lingering impression of my childhood was 
 destined to involve me, when grown up, in a singular 
 train of circumstances : — 
 
 Twenty years since, in the course of a few weeks' 
 residence at M , in the south of France, I hap- 
 pened to be passing down the principal sti'eet, when 
 my eye was caught by a placard intimating that the 
 " Greatest Man of the Age '' had arrived at M ,
 
 Gigantic Attraction. 271 
 
 and had consented to receive its citizens without any- 
 more marked distinction of rank, sex, or age, than 
 was conveyed in the charge of five sous for children 
 under eight, as against one franc for those of any- 
 riper age. Monsieur Dermot O^Leary requested that, 
 in view of the immense concourse to be expected 
 from the cathohc nature of this invitation, visitors 
 would limit their stay to five minutes. 
 
 "Dermot O'Leary.-'^ The name, as that of a public 
 man, did not sound familiar. I was beginning to 
 speculate how in the world our Cassar had " grown so 
 great/^ when a young gentleman, in a blue frock, 
 suddenly hung out a second placard, presenting to 
 my startled eyes the figure of a man of colossal 
 stature, with his arm extended horizontally, about 
 two feet above the head of another, presumed to be of 
 ordinary height, standing at his side. 
 
 A Giant ! I felt my blood curdle. I shrank back 
 instinctively ; but, in a moment, the accustomed 
 counter-feeling urged me forward, and I perused, 
 from end to end, the condensed biography of the 
 " Greatest Man of the Age,'^ as set forth, in type inaptly 
 small, on the bill. " Age, twenty-seven ; height, eight 
 feet, wanting an inch ; weight, nineteen stone ; father 
 and mother, average size ; sister, six feet four, shoot- 
 ing up.'' Such were some of the particulars. A very 
 respectable monster indeed. 
 
 I tried to move on. Impossible ! My feet seemed 
 rooted to the ground. A strange longing to see the 
 creature was becoming every instant more importunate. 
 To enter alone j however, was a thing not to be thought 
 of. Where was the expected crowd ? Safely en-
 
 272 Gigantic Attraction. 
 
 sconced in their midst, I might have enjoyed my gaze, 
 and vanished. 
 
 As I hesitated, two persons came forth, in eager 
 conversation. I caught a few words, which were not 
 uttered in a confidential tone — '' most interesting," — 
 
 '^singular physiological phenom /' '^ crowd too 
 
 dense for " 
 
 The last expression sufficed. I paid my franc, and, 
 ascending a few stairs on the right, arrived at a heavy 
 crimson curtain, before which was seated the young 
 gentleman in blue. He took my check, and demanded 
 my parasol. Why did he want my parasol ? Did he 
 think I might injure his little giant with that lethal 
 weapon ? On no consideration that could be proposed 
 to me would I place myself within its length of the 
 Greatest Man, but part with it I would not. Seeing me 
 resolved, the boy lifted the curtain, and admitted me. 
 To my utter astonishment I was alone ! 
 
 A sickening horror seized me. I clutched the 
 curtain. 
 
 " Open .... let me out," I gasped, trying madly, 
 but in vain, to find the opening. 
 
 " P-p-pardon me," said a very small, nervous voice, 
 somewhere near the ceihug. '^ Will you not t-take a 
 chair?" 
 
 I lifted my eyes to the region of the little voice. 
 There, within a few paces of me, stood the giant. 
 How he entered I never knew ; probably through an- 
 other curtained entrance at the side. He was in com- 
 plete evening dress, even to white cravat and gloves ; 
 he carried an opera hat, and bore altogether the ap- 
 pearance of a highly-magnified waiter with a teatray.
 
 Gigantic Attraction. 273 
 
 His immense countenance conveyed no ideas of savage 
 passion or inordinate appetite. It was a perfect sea of 
 vacuous good humour^ cliequered with an expression 
 of awkward diffidence, which, in an individual of his 
 proportions, struck me as absurd. If such a word as 
 " finikin " could with any propriety be applied to a 
 gentleman eight feet high, and broad in proportion, 
 here was that monster. 
 
 I could not restrain a faint giggle; then, angry 
 with myself, coloured to the eyes, and made a new 
 attempt to get away. 
 
 If giants giggle, the sound emitted by the greatest 
 man partook of that character. Blush I am sure he 
 did, and the idea that he was at least as alarmed and 
 embarrassed as myself, was so far reassuring, that, 
 though annoyed, I was still sensible of the unkindness 
 of quitting so shy a monster without the interchange 
 of a word. But what to say ? 
 
 The giant shifted from one huge foot to another, 
 curled his moustache with an effort to appear at ease, 
 and finally, with another giggle, inquired : 
 
 " Did you ever, madam, see so large a man as my- 
 self ?'' 
 
 I murmured, faintly, that I could not bear testimony 
 to anything so prodigious. 
 
 The giant did not seem gratified. On the contrary, 
 to my surprise he appeared to wince, and certainly 
 knit his brows. The thought flashed across me, "Have 
 I hurt his feehngs? This immoderate stature is, after 
 all, a deformity — a misfortune. How could I have 
 been so thoughtless ? " 
 
 " But,'' I hastened to add, with desperate polite- 
 
 T
 
 274 Gigantic Attraction. 
 
 ness, " you^ with your fine proportions — so — so 
 well '' 
 
 Again I stopped, colouring scarlet. Here was I, 
 an English lady, bred up in all the delicate restraints 
 of society, coolly paying my franc for the privilege of 
 a tete-a-tete with a monstrous stranger, of whose 
 existence I had never before heard, openly discussing 
 with him his personal appearance, and unable to ad- 
 vance any better apology for all this unreserve than 
 that my friend was twice the ordinary size. I was 
 resolved to put an end to the interview. Bowing 
 slightly, as perfectly satisfied, I made a feint to go. 
 But this movement seemed to give the giant com^age. 
 He gently interposed his huge bulk. 
 
 " Let me hope, madam,^^ he said, " you will not 
 confine yourself too rigidly within the terms of my 
 bill. My arrival is at present but little known in 
 
 -^^ , W^ is rarely, indeed, that I — that is, I 
 
 Forgive me^^ (he sighed deeply). "All I mean to 
 say is, that my time, every second of it, is completely 
 at your service. Ask me any questions you please.'" 
 
 Questions ! What could he mean ? What do little 
 people ask giants ? How they are fed ? Who cuts 
 their hair ? Where they take exercise unseen ? If 
 they ever find horses big enough to ride ? What 
 weather they have "up there'''? The little voice 
 broke on my meditations. 
 
 "Would you hke,''' it asked, with a slight tremor, 
 "to s-span my chest V 
 
 "Sir'/' 
 
 " Or p-poke my leg ?'' 
 
 Poke his leg ! Hardly knowing what I did, but
 
 Gigantic Attraction. 275 
 
 certainly acting on an impulse rather defensive than 
 curious, I made a feeble dab with my parasol at one 
 of those mighty members, which had been shd bash- 
 fully a few inches nearer to me. 
 
 The giant mistook my demonstration. 
 
 "Don't be afraid, I beg. No delusion, my dear 
 madam. All fair flesh and blood, I pledge you my 
 honour. The circumference of my calf is twenty-two 
 inches and a quarter ; that is to say, considerably more 
 than your — your waist. '^ Again the giant sighed. 
 
 It was excessively embarrassing. I could not make 
 out whether my colossal friend expected compliment 
 or condolence. If he was ashamed of his dreadful calf, 
 why present it to my notice ? If proud, why sigh ? 
 
 Presently, he drew himself up to his full height, 
 and, extending his arms like the sails of a windmill, 
 invited me to pass beneath. In this attitude he ap- 
 peared so very gigantic, that my courage, always 
 wavering, gave way. The dread and antipathy of my 
 nursery days came upon me with overwhelming power. 
 I grew hot and cold, felt faint, began to cry. 
 
 The giant, alarmed, regained with a start his natural 
 position. 
 
 " You are agitated, my dear madam ! Permit me, 
 I beseech you — the sofa — Ohe, Alphonse ! '' (to the 
 blue boy) — " a glass of water for madame ! Quick ! — 
 Is it possible,^' he continued, " that your generous, 
 tender heart has suggested — dare I believe that . . . 
 For Heaven's sake, answer ! What, oh what, has 
 moved you thus ? '' 
 
 " Your — size ! " I gasped, half resentfully. And 
 fainted. 
 
 T 2
 
 276 Gigantic Attraction. 
 
 I went home in a carriage_, and was for several days 
 far from well. During that interval I had numerous 
 visitors, almost all of whom mentioned, as one of the 
 topics of the hour, the advent and extraordinary 
 success of Monsieur Dermot O'Leary, the renowned 
 *' geant Irlandais/' As for me, I preserved the secret 
 of our interview with religious care, trying, though 
 with little success, to regard it rather as a horrible 
 dream than an actual occurrence, and nursing myself 
 diligently into travelling condition, with the fixed in- 
 tention of quitting the giant-haunted precincts. In 
 the mean time, with the curious inconsistency I have 
 described, my ears drank in every word that bore 
 reference to the great subject. 
 
 '^ Certainly. Remarkable man,^^ I heard one of my 
 visitors observing. " One is apt to associate some 
 degree of awkwardness with the movement of large 
 bodies. Now, with Monsieur Dermot O^Leary, all is 
 tranquil ease — careless grace — a complete '' 
 
 " So perfectly unembarrassed ! '^ put in a lady. 
 '^ His self-possession is singular ! Sitting there, the 
 object of every eye, most of them furnished with 
 opera-glasses (for the room was literally crammed) 
 you would have imagined him one of the least in- 
 terested spectators, rather than the marvel all had 
 come to see." 
 
 '^ Converses so well ! ' ' 
 
 " So thoroughly well ! A most retentive memory.''^ 
 
 " One thing seems to have been deeply impressed 
 upon it," said the first speaker. " Did you notice the 
 grateful, fervid enthusiasm with which he alluded to 
 the first — the very first — visit he received here ? It
 
 Gigantic Atti-adion. 277 
 
 gave me a strong prepossession in his favour : the 
 more so, because it is clear to me that he is a man 
 accustomed to exercise considerable self-control, and 
 to preserve a calm exterior, whatever lurks within/' 
 
 A calm exterior ! 
 
 "I am confident/' concluded my friend, with a 
 smile, '^that this first mysterious visitor was a lady.-" 
 
 I am afraid it was, I thought. 
 
 Left alone, I fell into a deep reverie. Something 
 whispered that it was to my unlucky visit the monster 
 had referred; but why on earth my franc should have 
 impressed him more deeply than any of the thousands 
 that had succeeded, I could not divine. Then, why 
 was his manner so different — calm aiid collected with 
 everybody else, nervous and diffident with me ? 
 Vanity itself could not insinuate that there was any- 
 thing in my person or manner especially calculated to 
 captivate this Polypheme. The bare thought of being 
 in the remotest degree associated, as it were, with the 
 tremendous man, almost threw me into a fever. I 
 resolved to leave the place the very next day. 
 
 The train to my destination not starting until the 
 afternoon, I took advantage of this to bid farewell to 
 a friend who Hved in the next street ; I paid my visit, 
 and was again within a hundred yards of home, when 
 a carriage, going at a foot pace, and attended by a 
 crowd of several hundred men and boys, cheering 
 something at the full pitch of their lungs, turned into 
 the street. 
 
 I hate a crowd ; and, skipping up quickly on a 
 door-step, stood well back to let the people pass. It 
 was a fatal movement. As the mob swept by, a
 
 278 Gigantic Attraction. 
 
 gigantic head became visible, peering from the 
 carriage-window, wliich it exactly filled. It was Ht ! 
 His eye caught me in a moment. The immense 
 table-land of his face was covered with a scarlet blush. 
 He smiled, and kissed his hand : not ungracefully, it 
 must be owned, but still in such a manner as to 
 induce his attentive escort to turn to see who could 
 be the giant's particular friend ! They probably 
 expected another giant ; there was a sort of derisive 
 disappointed laugh, and — 
 
 " A cheer for madame ! ^' squeaked a mischievous 
 little urchin near me. It was given. On swept the 
 procession, and I hardly knew what was passing till I 
 found myself on the sofa, half fainting with shame 
 and annoyance ; nor could I regain my tranquillity of 
 spirit till I was fairly on my road away. 
 
 The groves and gardens of the place of my destina- 
 tion had just put on the fresh green robes of spring, 
 and I was in the full enjoyment of the change of scene 
 and season, when I had the additional delight of 
 meeting an old friend, who had arrived the previous 
 day. She was on her road to England, and pur- 
 posing to halt but one day, made me promise to 
 spend the whole of it with her : dining at the table 
 d^hote of her hotel, at which only a quiet party of 
 some ten or twelve usually assembled. 
 
 Descending to the saloon at the usual summons, we 
 found, to our utter sui^prise, not less than a hundred 
 and twenty persons already seated; the board, in 
 fact, seemed full. We had not thought it necessary 
 to retain places, and were hesitating in what direction 
 to move, when the landlord himself, accosting us with
 
 Gigaiitic Attr'dinn. 279 
 
 civil smiles, marslialled us to the upper end of the 
 table. Here he had, as he informed us, reserved the 
 two seats he judged to be most accordant with the 
 wishes of mesdames. 
 
 Charmed with his politeness, we accepted the seats 
 provided : thus filling up the only gap at the table, with 
 the exception of the single place at the top, where 
 stood a remarkably large chair, still unoccupied. 
 
 It seemed to us that an unusual air of hilarity per- 
 vaded the party. There was a kind of cirnival look 
 in the appointments of the room and table, and even 
 the air and step of the nimble waiters announced 
 something beyond the common routine of festivity. 
 The cheerfulness of the scene, joined to the presence 
 of my old friend, raised my spii'its to an unusual 
 pitch ; I was speculating gaily as to what manner of 
 neighbour I should have on my left, when a sudden 
 pause ensued in the clatter of plates and tongues, 
 followed by an eager buzz. Every head was turned 
 in our direction. Many of the gentlemen half rose, as 
 if in respect, or curiosity ; a group of waiters opened ; 
 there was a heavy step, a mighty black and white 
 cloud — the Giant was seated at my side ! 
 
 How I felt when this fact established itself in my 
 mind I will not seek to describe. I knew I must not 
 faint, nor make a scene, nor even contrive a pretext 
 to withdraw. In short, I flatter myself I acted on 
 that trying occasion in a manner which, under other 
 circumstances, would have obtained for me the 
 character of a heroine. 
 
 To do the huge man justice, he behaved with all 
 consideration. No gentleman could have demeaned
 
 280 Gigantic Attraction. 
 
 himself — no ten genfclemen — of ordinary size — could 
 have demeaned themselves — with more refined cour- 
 tesy. His recognition was not so marked as to draw 
 any especial attention to myself. He was far more 
 collected than at our first meeting, and chatted in a 
 lively tone with all who were within reach : particu- 
 larly with my friend, who, far from evincing surprise 
 or alarm, appeared delighted at the good fortune that 
 had placed us in the immediate vicinity of the lion of 
 the hour. 
 
 Upon what meats, or in what respective quantities, 
 the giant fed, I cannot say. I know that three chosen 
 waiters, active powerful men, danced a perpetual reel 
 about his chair, relieving each other in the administra- 
 tion of vast plates of something. Also, that before 
 the close of that tremendous meal, a perfect little 
 semicircle of bottles formed a chevaux-de-frise between 
 us. 
 
 The dinner seemed interminable. I do not think I 
 could have borne the situation five minutes longer, 
 when my friend rose. At the moment, the giant bent 
 forward his enormous head, and whispered — what I 
 know not. I was far too agitated to know. Enough 
 that my retreat was efiected. I was panting for air, 
 and begged my friend to walk with me into one of the 
 shady garden terraces, where, leaving me seated in a 
 little trellised bower, she went back to the house to 
 make some change in her dress. 
 
 No sooner had she quitted me than my spirits sud- 
 denly gave way. I bm-st into a violent flood of tears. 
 I don't know if I have made it plain to the reader ; 
 but, to me, it was all too certain that I had by some
 
 Gigantic Attraction. 281 
 
 strange fatality made an impression on tlie heart or 
 fancy of this too susceptible monster. He did not want 
 to eat me. On that score my mind was at rest. He 
 was a kind monster and a gentle. But could anything 
 be more unfortunate — more absurd ? A creature 
 whose presence^ harmless as he was_, filled me with 
 fear and horror ! Morbid as might be the antipathy, 
 I could no more overcome it than I could have wrestled 
 successfully with the giant himself. What was to be 
 done ? Nothing, but resume my flight, and keep my 
 movements as secret as possible. "Oh, giant ! giant V 
 I sobbed out audibly ; '^ why — ivJnj is this '' 
 
 " This IV hat ? " said a voice close at hand. There was 
 a loud rustle among the trees; a step that nearly 
 shook down the arbour ; the giant was kneeling before 
 me ! Even in that position his mighty head towered 
 far above me. He caught my hand. 
 
 " Speak, speak, dearest : most generous of Eh! 
 
 ha!'^ 
 
 I had fainted again. 
 
 In the course of that evening, I should say that 
 nearly the entire population of the place informed them- 
 selves, either by direct inquiries at the hotel, or 
 otherwise, that the English madame who had fainted 
 while sitting with Monsieur O^Leary (" son pretendu'^) 
 in the arbour, was as well as a slight fluttering of the 
 nerves permitted. It was understood that the marriage 
 would not take place until monsieur had fulfilled 
 several important provincial engagements, when the 
 young people would be united at Paris, and proceed 
 at once to their residence. Castle O^Leary, Ballyshan- 
 dra, Tipperary.
 
 282 Gigantic Attraction. 
 
 That niglit I made all needful preparations, bade 
 adieu to my friend, and by noon next day was at an 
 obscure little village, sixty miles off, and as remote 
 from railway, or any other communication, as possible. 
 Here I drew free breath. I had bribed my postilions 
 to conceal my route. I had ordered my letters to be 
 forwarded in a different direction_, and taken other 
 precautions which could not fail to secure my object. 
 
 I was very happy in that forgotten little village. I 
 had lodgings in a farm-house, and (barring industry) 
 lived the life of its merry and contented inhabitants : 
 rising at half-past four, dining at noon, and going to 
 rest when the first bat began to circle round the 
 thatched porch. The sweet summer fled away only 
 too rapidly ; but duties recalled me to the busy world, 
 and, now that all seemed safe, I had no excuse for 
 lingering. I therefore bade farewell to my happy 
 valley, and started for Paris, purposing to stop a day 
 
 or two at St. B , the town to which my letters had 
 
 been addressed. 
 
 It was, I think, on the third evening of my stay, 
 that the servant handed me a visiting card, adding 
 that a gentleman was below, who earnestly entreated 
 a few minutes' private conversation : 
 
 " Colonel Austin Dolmage, 
 
 87th Royal Irish, 
 
 Scullabogue." 
 
 An Irishman ! I had no acquaintance bearing that 
 name. What could his visit mean ? My heart began 
 to palpitate ; strange misgivings came upon me.
 
 Gigantic Attraction. 283 
 
 ^' "Wliat sort of a gentleman, Marie ? Is — is lie — 
 tall ? '' 
 
 Not remarkably tall in Marie's opinion, but well- 
 mannered, genteel, amiable. 
 
 Alone, Marie? Did he desire to see me alone ?" 
 
 Marie^s belief was that he made that request. She 
 would fly and learn. Back she came, breathless. 
 
 The colonel truly desired to see madame alone, but 
 would not venture to make conditions. As madame 
 pleased. 
 
 I directed Marie to show him up, and to remain — a 
 sort of compromise, since Marie knew no word of 
 English. 
 
 The gentleman who presented himself was all that 
 Marie had described him : with the addition of a singu- 
 larly frank and handsome countenance, and most 
 winning smile. He looked, nevertheless, pale and 
 anxious ; and, in a somewhat hurried manner, began 
 to apologise for his intrusion : " It is,'' he went on, 
 " a matter so delicate, that nothing short of the pain- 
 ful and urgent circumstances of the case could have 
 induced me to accept a mission, which (first earnestly 
 bespeaking your kind indulgence) 1 will unfold as 
 briefly as possible. You have been, I think, within 
 these few months at M ?" 
 
 I bowed. 
 
 '^ And there became acquainted with a — a gentle- 
 man, whose unusual stature may possibly, independent 
 of other reasons, suffice to recal him to your recol- 
 lection?" 
 
 My lips faltered a faint admission that the little 
 pecuHarity referred to had not wholly escaped me.
 
 284 Gigantic Attraction. 
 
 " Dermot O^Leary is a connexion of mine — and — '^ 
 Colonel Dolmage added^ with some emotion, " my 
 most intimate and confidential friend/^ 
 
 Even at tliat agitated moment it occurred to me 
 that the selection was inconvenient : since, unless the 
 giant sat down, or his friend mounted a table, there 
 could be little interchange of " confidence/^ 
 
 "He is dangerously ill, reduced, by several weeks' 
 severe sickness, to a degree of prostration, from which 
 his medical advisers deem it impossible he can recover. 
 Poor Dermot is greatly beloved by us at home, and, 
 hearing of his sad condition, I obtained leave of ab- 
 sence and hurried hither. Now, my dear madam, 
 comes the most difficult part of my embassy. My 
 poor friend, whose nature is most susceptible, and 
 responds readily, almost too readily, to the slightest 
 demonstration of interest, touched to the heart by 
 some expression of yours, conceived a strong attach- 
 ment to the kind speaker. The discovery he subse- 
 quently made, or fancied he made, that your afi'ections 
 were already engaged, brought on his fatal illness. He 
 is dying, but hearing that you had followed him 
 hither '' 
 
 " ^ Followed ! ' sir ? Allow me to assure you that to 
 you alone am I indebted for the information that the 
 g that Mr. O^Leary — is here.^^ 
 
 The colonel looked surprised, but bowed politely : 
 
 " At all events, he is aware of your arrival in this 
 rather out-of-the-way spot, and, to be brief, adjured 
 me by every tie of friendship to seek you out, and 
 entreat you to vouchsafe him one minute's interview. 
 He has that to say to you which may materially
 
 Gigantic Attraction. 285 
 
 affect your future happiness. Permit me, my dear 
 madam," concluded the colonel, " to add my petition 
 to that of my generous-hearted cousin; let me hope 
 that you will not refuse this solace to his dying hour." 
 
 What could I say ? For an instant I tried to frame 
 some form of refusal, but speak it I could not. Go I 
 must. A few minutes found me actually on my way to 
 the giant's lodging, leaning on Colonel Dolmage^s 
 arm, and attended by Marie. 
 
 My heart throbbed almost audibly as I ascended the 
 stair, and I was glad to sit down for a moment in the 
 ante- chamber, while the colonel went to announce my 
 arrival to his friend. 
 
 He returned on tiptoe ; in the way in which men 
 usually walk in a sick room, to the great derangement 
 of invalid nerves. 
 
 " He wanders a little. Don^t be alarmed ; he is too 
 weak to speak above a whisper, and can with diificulty 
 move hand or foot. He is a little flighty ; but on the 
 one subject I think you will find him perfectly clear. 
 Shall we go in ? " 
 
 I trembled in every joint as I approached the four 
 beds which, placed together, formed a sufficient cot for 
 the poor giant. Alas ! hovv^ changed ! All my fears, 
 all my old antip^athies, were at once swallowed up in 
 a sense of profound pity for the noble form, now re- 
 duced to a wreck with which a child might cope. The 
 large sunken eyes turned on me with a look of grati- 
 tude I shall never forget. His lips moved; he 
 beckoned me to the bedside. The colonel stood 
 opposite. 
 
 Then, with all his remaining strength, the giant took
 
 286 Gigantic Attraction. 
 
 my hand in one of his, and with the other clasped 
 his friend^s. He signed to me to put down my head. 
 I obeyed, listening eagerly. 
 
 ^' I — know — your — secret/^ faltered the poor giant. 
 Take — my — b-blessing.-'^ 
 
 To my inexpressible amazement, he then joined my 
 hand with that of Colonel Dolmage, and, exhausted 
 with the effort, sank back unconscious on the pillow. 
 
 The colonel coloured and bit his lip, hardly able to 
 repress a smile. 
 
 ^^I was not prepared for tJiis part of the hallucina- 
 tion,^^ he said, hurriedly. "You will acquit me of any 
 participation. Good Heaven ! 1 fear he is gone." 
 
 It was not so ; the invalid had only sunk into an 
 exhausted slumber — a state which, in his case, as in 
 some others, proved to be the precursor of a favour- 
 able change. 
 
 From the moment when his poor disordered brain 
 pictured that he had secured my happiness, and that 
 of his friend, he began to rally. It is true that, as 
 reason regained her sway, he became fully sensible of 
 his little mistake. It could not, however, be recalled, 
 nor was it so embarrassing as might be imagined. 
 
 I know not how it came about — whether from the 
 community of interest engendered in the sick room, or 
 how far the noble-hearted giant himself contributed to 
 the result — but my acquaintance with Colonel Dolmagr, 
 so oddly commenced, ripened into mutual regard and 
 esteem. In fact, about six months after the scene 
 above described, our hands were a second time united : 
 this time with the Churches blessing in addition to 
 that of Mr. O^Leary. We were married at the chapel
 
 Gigantic Attraction. 287 
 
 of tLe British embassy in Paris. A French journal, 
 reporting the occurrence, remarked as a singular 
 feature that the monsieur who assisted as groomsman 
 had two metres fifty-five millimetres of height. 
 
 Years after that happy day, I was sitting in my 
 pretty Irish garden, with my tall cousin, of whom I 
 had long since lost all fear, when it came into my head 
 to ask him on what possible word of mine he had based 
 his early impression that I had conceived an especial 
 personal interest in him? 
 
 He spoke of my embarrassment, my blushes, &c. 
 
 " But the word, cousin — the word. The mysterious 
 ' expression ' of which Austin spoke ?^^ 
 
 " Well, do you recollect my asking you what moved 
 you thus keenly ? A.Tid do you remember what you 
 replied ?'' 
 
 '' Perfectly : ' Your size.^ '' 
 
 " Good ; you are answered. ^^ 
 
 " Am I ? '' 
 
 I pondered for a moment ; then I asked : ^^ Cousin, 
 how would you sjjell ' size ' '^ " 
 
 " How ? S— i— g— h— s/' 
 
 " No, no, my dear cousin j S — i — z — e. It makes 
 all the difierence.^^ 
 
 " A very considerable difference," said my com- 
 panioiij rather thoughtfully. " To be sure. SizeJ'
 
 SOLID REASONS. 
 
 EN years ago tlie mental condition of my 
 friend Robert Bigge was such as to occa- 
 sion us much secret anxiety. 
 
 Robert had held office in Downing-street, 
 but had lately resigned the (wafer) seals of his depart- 
 ment, in consequence of the sudden abolition of a 
 class of gentlemen known by the appropriate title of 
 '' clerks extraordinary/^ 
 
 The genus being extinct^ a few words to describe 
 it may not be out of place. 
 
 In the event of a sudden accumulation of pressing 
 correspondence, it was customary in the Yawhaw 
 Office to engage a number of misguided persons am- 
 bitious of becoming public servants, to place them in 
 an apartment provided only with such rude furniture 
 as is essential to the fulfilment of public duty, and to 
 employ them, so long as the stress continued, in copy- 
 ing returns and dispatches at the remuneration of 
 fourpence a page. This surplus work (which usually 
 lasted only a few days, or, at most, weeks) being con-
 
 Solid Reasons. 289 
 
 eluded, the class was sifted, as it were, two or three 
 individuals remaining still attached to the establish- 
 ment, in readiness for the next emergency. The re- 
 mainder were requested to leave their addresses for 
 the information of an embarrassed government, and 
 depart. 
 
 My friend Robert had been of this fortunate 
 minority. He had even entertained some secret hope 
 of struggling fairly on to the '' establishment,^' when 
 a few words from a Scotch member of parliament, in 
 the form of interrogatory, knocked the " extraordi- 
 nary '' arrangement at once on the head, and con- 
 demned the recognised members of the Yawhaw 
 Office to the annoyance of doing their own work 
 themselves. 
 
 Robert expressed himself a good deal hurt. He 
 had " done the State some service." If they didn-'t 
 '^know it,'' that was no fault of Bob's. He had 
 always signed his name in the attendance-book, and 
 to the receipts for his stipend, in the very largest 
 characters pohte custom allows. He had dated all 
 his letters " Downing-street," and, on a certain fes- 
 tive occasion had insidiously engaged a friend to 
 propose the health of her Majesty's '^ present advisers," 
 in order that he might respond on behalf of that body. 
 And so he did. 
 
 To be cast aside now, without compliment, without 
 apology ! His " cankered country " tendered him 
 nothing but his wages. And what was thirty-seven 
 pounds fourteen shillings for four months' sedentary 
 service, and two thousand two hundred and sixty-two 
 pages of manuscript ? There was, moreover, another, 
 
 u
 
 290 Solid Reasons. 
 
 and a far more serious claim upon tlie State j but of 
 that presently. 
 
 Bob was, indeed, at the period I speak of, in a 
 condition to demand the utmost sympathy and watch- 
 fulness friendship could afford. You might not un- 
 naturally imagine that Bobby, wounded by the 
 ungrateful return for his public services — dismissed 
 into an uncared-for, and, what is ten times more 
 galling to a sensitive mind, unpensioned obscurity — 
 was sinking into mental prostration, tending it may 
 be to idiotcy. 
 
 It was scarcely so. His mental faculties were wholly 
 unimpaired. Again, it was abundantly evident that 
 his bodily health did not suffer. It was a matter of 
 congratulation among us, that our friend had of late 
 grown singularly stout. But that his heart was a 
 prey to some secret melancholy, had been for a long 
 time a subject of strong suspicion to those who loved 
 the boy (Bobby was but twenty- three), and this mys- 
 tery, I, at the instigation of his aunt, set myself dili- 
 gently to fathom. For a while my endeavours proved 
 fruitless. Hoping to fall in with his humour, I tried 
 him, in the first place, with a quiet dinner, finishing 
 the evening at a quiet little lecture by Professor 
 Grumbelow, " On the molecular variations exhibited 
 by the application of acids to metamorphic rocks. ''^ 
 
 At the dinner Bobby ate ; at the lecture he slum- 
 bered. I myself was not wholly disinclined to doze. 
 I remember the professor holding up something that 
 looked like a pink artichoke, after a pic-nic of cater- 
 pillars, which he called a ^'^ fibrous dolomite,^^ and 
 subsequently remarking that ^' a crystal of Thomp-
 
 Solid Reasons, 201 
 
 sonitej boiled with hydrochloric acid, deposited a gela- 
 tinous transparent precipitate of silica/' Here I 
 thought the lecturer handed round plates filled with 
 flint broth, wherein floated slices of red sandstone 
 for bread. Candidly, I believe this must have been 
 illusion. 
 
 Neither these, nor scenes of wilder dissipation, ap- 
 peared to answer my end. I sometimes conducted 
 Bobby, docile enough, poor fellow, to the theatre, 
 where my reward was to see him sit through a 
 " screaming '^ farce without changing a muscle. 
 
 Once, and but once, were my pains rewarded. It 
 happened in Sangster Square. 
 
 We had attended one of the most dismal dioramas 
 ever, perhaps, designed b}^ artist's haunted brain. A 
 few mournful creatures moved stealthily through the 
 building. An invisible (would I could add inaudible) 
 harmonium executed a funeral dirge of the days of 
 Queen Anne ; the score of which, with the gifted 
 person who composed it, should, in rigid justice, have 
 been inhumed with the above lamented princess. As 
 we issued forth, I glanced with some anxiety at my 
 friend's countenance, deeming it not impossible that 
 the degree of depression to which we had both been 
 reduced might lead to a burst of tearful confidence 
 which would reveal all. 
 
 Suddenly his face hghted up. He paused before 
 the entrance to one of the smaller exhibitions. 
 
 " Let us enter," said Bobby, grasping my arm. 
 
 We paid a shilling each. I followed my friend 
 into a large apartment on the ground floor. There 
 was a sort of dais in the centre, upon the dais a huge 
 
 u 2
 
 292 Solid Reasons. 
 
 cliair_, and^ on tliat cliair, the very fattest individual 
 I ever beheld. The latter welcomed us with graceful 
 ease, invited us to perform the tour of his person, 
 and then, pointing to chairs, begged us to offer any 
 personal observations that might suggest themselves 
 to our minds. 
 
 The situation was not without its embarrassments. 
 The cheerful countenance of our mighty host forbade 
 all idea of condolence. On the other hand, congratu- 
 lations to a man in hopeless captivity to his own fat 
 were cruel and absurd. No question occurred to 
 me, beyond that which, in the exhibition of other 
 obese animals, is commonly anticipated by means of 
 a placard above their heads — namely, what he had 
 been fed upon ? 
 
 Having ascertained that " ^tators, tripe, and sau- 
 sages " were principally responsible for the interest- 
 ing result presented to us, we presently took our leave. 
 
 The strange light had not quitted Bob^s counte- 
 nance during the whole interview. His eye was brighter, 
 his step more elastic, than I had seen for weeks past, 
 as we took our westward way. 
 
 ^' And this man is not unhappy,^^ said Bob, musingly. 
 " He smiles. He is jocular. He acquiesces in a bodily 
 formation only distinguishable from the purely sphe- 
 rical, by those two fat appanages it affords him a 
 melancholy satisfaction to call his negs."* No remorse 
 visits his, I cannot say, pillow — for he never goes to 
 bed — but the back of his easy-chair, on account of 
 those early excesses, that reprehensible indulgence in 
 ' — what did he say ? — tripes and sausages, that singular 
 predilection for the interior of other animals which
 
 Solid Reasons. 293 
 
 has proved so fatally nutritious to his own. He has 
 broken no affectionate ties ; he has estranged no 
 friend. He, on the contrary, adds daily to their 
 number, and a shilling apiece, besides. Why, then, 
 should I '' 
 
 " Gennlemen, sir, gi^ a poor boy a hap'ny ! '' bel- 
 lowed one of those young highwaymen the law hath 
 hitherto forborne, charging viciously at Bobby with 
 his muddy broom. But for this assault, I should 
 have penetrated Bob's secret on the spot. As it was, 
 a few days more elapsed. 
 
 I was dining one evening at my friend's chambers 
 when a large brown-paper parcel made its appearance. 
 Bob turned pale, and laid down his knife and fork. 
 He passed the napkin over his forehead, and appeared 
 to collect himself. Then he opened the parcel, and 
 fell back in his chair. I glanced at the contents, 
 which seemed to consist of nothing more terrible than 
 a new light paletot, forwarded, according to an address 
 on the paper, by an eminent tailor. 
 
 " Away with it ! Hide it from my sight ! '' cried 
 Bob, with a palpable shudder, sinking his face in his 
 hands. 
 
 I flung the parcel on the furthest sofa. 
 
 " It is the death-warrant," said Bob, presently 
 looking up, with a ghastly smile, " of my hopes. 
 George, my boy, the struggle is over. But you will 
 not desert me, George'' (the g»jod fellow stretched 
 over and grasped my hand). '' Companion of my 
 light and careless youth, to you it makes no difference 
 
 whether your friend — is — you know — or But I see 
 
 you do not clearly comprehend."
 
 294 Solid BpAisons, 
 
 Bob paused for a moment^ then recommenced. 
 
 " It is now some eight months since, while attached 
 — and very warmly so — to the Yawhaw Office, that I 
 first became conscious of a slight difficulty in button- 
 ing my coat. Willing to believe that it was due to 
 some accidental shrinking of the cloth, or other ex- 
 traneous cause, I simply had the button altered. 
 Again, in a few days, the difficulty recurred ; nay, 
 other garments — my vest, the waistband of my trou- 
 sers — began to evince a similar reluctance to meet on 
 the usual easy terms. It was useless to shut my eyes 
 to the miserable fact. I was growing fat, and that 
 with startling rapidity. Eight hours a day at my 
 desk had done the business. What could I do ? I 
 was inclined to work, attached to my department. I 
 felt within me no ordinary powers of — of — copying. 
 My aunt allows me but one hundred a year. Resign 
 I could not. A martyr to my duty to the ^public, and 
 to myself, I clung to my desk until dislodged, as you 
 are aware, by the officious and unparliamentary com- 
 ments of Mr. Angus Mcltchery. But, alas ! the mis- 
 chief was done. Day by day, hour by hour, adds 
 something to my weight. You must have — eh ? — seen 
 it — eh, George ? " asked poor Bob, piteously. 
 
 I was obliged to confess that I had. 
 
 " They have fattened me,^^ said Bob^ with intense 
 pathos, " only to kill.^^ 
 
 " No, no. Bob." 
 
 " You will see. Well, sir, I was resolved to know 
 the very worst. Face my tailors I could not. They 
 are remarkably fastidious men. I wrote to the firm^ 
 humbly, appeahngly, ' Gentlemen, I enclose you a
 
 Solid Reasons, 295 
 
 careful measurement of what was but recently recog- 
 nised by you as my waist. If such proportions will 
 not utterly disgrace a frock-coat of your design — 
 send me one. If otherwise, then forward to me a 
 paletot suited to my misfortune/ Behold their 
 answer/' 
 
 With an effort, Bob rose, walked to the sofa, seized, 
 and shook out the paletot. The wide folds expressed 
 but too eloquently the strength of the opinion enter- 
 tained by Messrs. Stilts, on the case of their unhappy 
 client. 
 
 '' But, tcha ! that is not the worst, old fellow," 
 resumed Bob. '^ Yain I am not. At any other 
 period of my life, I might defy my flesh to do its 
 worst. I have, indeed, always looked forward to a 
 certain amount of obesity, as the distinctive feature 
 of my race. My governor was a nineteen stun-er; 
 my mother was likewise a stunner, and her name was 
 Lambert; she was descended from the illustrious 
 Daniel, and I have in my possession the very last 
 coat and waistcoat worn by the greatest of living 
 men." 
 
 "I have always heard that your mother was very 
 beautiful," I remarked. 
 
 " She was so fair," returned Bob, in his sentimental 
 tones, ^' that it seemed impossible there could ever be 
 too much of her. It did, however, become expensive, 
 when it took three persons to place her in her garden- 
 chair ! My good mother, you are aware, was not of 
 ducal extraction. She had occupied that position 
 which society, in its careless, generalising way, has 
 agreed to call a ' cook.' In her case, it was the poetry
 
 296 Solid Reasons. 
 
 of feeling. In her hands, the gross elements with 
 which it was necessary to deal, changed, without the 
 loss of any nutritive feature, into flowers and sunshine. 
 My father married her by accident. 
 
 "By accident?'' 
 
 "Pure toss-up,'' said Bobby, descending suddenly 
 to prose. " The governor was spoony on a girl of the 
 neighbourhood. Popped. She refused. Governor 
 galloped home in a rage, vowing he would marry 
 whichever of his maid-servants opened the door to 
 him. (Nota bene. There was at the time a pretty 
 little rustic, the gardener's daughter, who did occa- 
 sional duty as portress.) Fate decreed that Susanna 
 Lambert should be sweeping the hall. That young 
 lady opened the door; and that young lady became 
 my parent. 
 
 " George," continued Bobby, rising and standing 
 in an easy attitude, with his back to the fire, and his 
 coat-tails over his arms, " I take after my sire. I am, 
 I own it, susceptible. I am what is popularly (but 
 absurdly) termed ^ in love.' To speak more logically, 
 love, sir, hath dwelt in me, from the moment at which 
 the most dazzling face imagination can conceive, 
 looked suddenly round the partition of box B, at the 
 Haymarket Theatre, gazed straight at me, and dis*- 
 appeared. There were two other objects in that box 
 — human, probably — I did not note. I was conscious 
 of but one fact, that there, within nine inches of my 
 right elbow, sat the Fate of Eobert Bigge." 
 
 Bob paused, applied his handkerchief to his features, 
 and resumed. 
 
 " The play, Hamlet, was, on that evening, prolonged
 
 Solid Reasons. 297 
 
 to an indefinite extent. There were, I should say, 
 nineteen acts, with musical interruptions of moderate 
 duration. At the conclusion, I held a conference with 
 the boxkeeper touching box B. ^The Countess de 
 Clerville and party/ Need I mention that I watched 
 that box ? Forth she came, leaning gracefully on the 
 arms of her two companions. The ample folds of her 
 rich burnous concealed her delicate form, but revealed 
 the exquisite little foot that bore her to the awaiting 
 carriage. I flung myself into the nearest hansom. 
 'Follow that carriage. Not too closely !' I shouted 
 through the little hole, as our horse began nibbling at 
 the retreating: calves of the countesses footman. We 
 took the direction of the Regent's Park. In Port- 
 land-place a sudden pull up nearly flung me on the 
 horse's tail. The carriage had stopped at one of the 
 doors, and my donkey of a driver all but ran into it. 
 
 " It was, however, only one of the companions who 
 alighted — when the carriage, turning sharply to the 
 right, led us to a street in the immediate vicinity of 
 Russell-square ; ' at last,' I thought, ' I have thee V 
 Foiled again ! The surviving companion got out, 
 waving respectful adieus, and once more the carriage 
 proceeded. Returning towards the Regent's Park, 
 we skirted that beautiful enclosure on the Hampstead 
 side, made a turn or two, and had reached a place 
 called, I observed, Nasturtium Villas, when my cab- 
 man suddenly pulled up, and shouted down the orifice, 
 ' I say, sir, would you mind 'aving another cab ?' 
 ' Nonsense !' 1 bellowed back. ^ Get on, confound you ! 
 
 You' n lose .' "Tell'ee what,' said the cabman, 
 
 ' I can't go on this 'ere game all night. This 'ere 'osa
 
 298 Solid Reasons. 
 
 'e ^asn^t ^ad ^is supper, nor I an^t ^ad 
 won^t go no furder/ 
 
 '' It certainly appeared so, and tlie upshot was that 
 I found myself alone on foot, at half-past two in the 
 morning, lurking in the neighbourhood of Nasturtium 
 Villas, with as much hope of getting a cab as if I were 
 on the banks of Newfoundland. 
 
 ^' How I got home I hardly know. I do know, 
 however, that this failure by no means blunted my 
 purpose. No Countess de Clerville appeared in the 
 ' Court Guide.^ I, therefore, on the very next day, 
 repaired to Nasturtium Villas, and took up the scent 
 where I had lost it. In that locality I was positive 
 my beautiful fawn had run to covert. An intelligent- 
 looking crossing-sweeper attracted my eye : 
 
 " ^Did she — hem — know any of the residents in Nas- 
 ■ turtium Villas V 
 
 " ' Yes, a plenty. Mrs. Biblicott.' 
 
 " ' Nobody else V 
 
 '* 'Yes; Mrs. Jones.' 
 
 '^ ' Had she ever heard the name of the Countess of 
 Clerville ?' 
 
 *' ' WJicit name, please V 
 
 '' ' Clerville.' 
 
 " ' Knows her very well. A very nice lady ; giv' 
 her tea-leaves. She was hunder 'ousemaid at Number 
 Seventeen.' 
 
 '''Who?' 
 
 " ' Kearwell, Susan KearwelL' 
 
 " ' Eidiculous !' The donation I made to this 
 interesting person would not place her in absolute in- 
 dependence of her crossing.
 
 Solid Beasons. 299 
 
 " In vain I pursued my inquiries. Ko Countess of 
 Clerville could I hear of, in that or any other neigh- 
 bourhood. 
 
 '^ It was about this time that you must have noticed 
 a marked change in my demeanour. In spite of much 
 bodily exercise, as well as mental agitation, neither of 
 which tends much to corpulence, I found myself, 
 George, becoming fatter and fatter every hour. 
 Living on the one hope — that of once more seeing 
 her who was the star of my existence — I could not but 
 dread the actual meeting. There is something essen- 
 tially inapt in a fat lover. 
 
 '^ One evening about dusk, some three months after 
 the first meeting, as I was walking, or rather waddling, 
 in the neighbourhood of Nasturtium Villas, a carriage 
 dashed past me, a face looked out — a beaming, brilliant 
 face ! Sir, it lit up the whole rank of villas, like — 
 like '' 
 
 " Gas r' I suggested. 
 
 " Not at all,^^ said Bob, with sudden indignation. 
 " She was gone ; but my eyes, straining like twin 
 detectives, in pursuit of the thief that had robbed my 
 heart's till (and used it very roughly in doing so), 
 observed something fall from the carriage window. I 
 hurried up. A bouquet ! More, sir, more ! Among 
 those blessed stalks nestled a scrap of paper, torn off 
 a mantua-maker's bill. On the blank side had been 
 written, with haste and a pencil, ' To-morrow. Later.' 
 1 dined that evening at the Starve -and-Tatter Club, 
 upon whose elder and steadier members my feverish 
 gaiety seemed to make a considerable impression. 
 
 '^I was on the ground on the morrow at the
 
 300 Solid Beasons. 
 
 appointed time. It was darkisli. I wore my widest 
 paletot^ and walked with a carefully-studied lightness, 
 more in keeping with my mind than body. 
 
 ^' Few carriages passed Nasturtium Villas. The 
 excellent inhabitants did not evince symptoms of 
 being in the full tide of London fashion. The con- 
 sequence was that when the sound of approaching 
 wheels i(;as heard, my heart throbbed almost to bursting. 
 Again the carriage, again the face. Again that foot- 
 man's calves, two white meteors, receded into the 
 darkness. Again a bouquet and a note ! I hastened 
 with my prize to the nearest lamp. There, to my 
 ntter astonishment, I read as follows : 
 
 " ^ Why this extraordinary persecution ? If it be 
 your fancy to haunt our quiet precincts, at least avoid 
 Number Three, Laburnum Cottages, third turning to 
 the left, at twenty minutes past eight, on Thursday. 
 C. de C.'' To-morrow, George, is ^ Thursday.'' I 
 shall avail myself of this gracious prohibition. Will 
 you accompany me V 
 
 1 pressed my friend's hand, not without emotion. 
 Bob thanked me with a melancholy smile, for his eye 
 had lit upon the paletot. 
 
 '^In that hideous garb,'' he said, bitterly, ^^and 
 under the shadow of night, I may, perchance, venture 
 upon expressions which, under ordinary circumstances^ 
 would reduce me to the rank of a Jack Pudding ! 
 But, George, should she invite me to approach nearer, 
 so that the outlines of — what I dare no longer desig- 
 nate — my figure, might become visible, sir, I could not 
 do it. Eevolt her taste at the very outset ? Crush 
 the tender buds of her young affection beneath this
 
 Solid Reasons. 301 
 
 shapeless monnd of flesli ? Let me win her first, then, 
 by those discreet degrees by which a certain cat is 
 reported (whether correctly or otherwise) to have 
 devoured the candle, reveal myself to her in all my 
 fearftd rotundity. It is here, my friend, that you can 
 help me. There is much, I am told, in the magic of 
 voice. Mine is low and sweet. I will do the speaking, 
 yotc the acting. Excuse me,'^ continued Bob, inter- 
 rupting me as I was about to speak. " I have recon- 
 noitred the premises. The object of my fair warner- 
 off is to hold converse with me through the window 
 which looks upon a little lawn, which is flanked by a 
 shrubbery, which is open to the road, which is inno- 
 cent of travellers nine-tenths of the day. Certain 
 laburnums approach the house so closely as to be on 
 speaking terms. I propose to avail myself of their 
 friendly cover, while you, standing out just far euough 
 to allow your noble form to be distinctly visible, will 
 accompany my observations with appropriate action. 
 How say you, George V 
 
 " The system at present in vogue for the treatment of 
 lunatics,^^ I replied, slowly, "involves, I conceive, as 
 complete an acquiescence in the ruling fancy as cir- 
 cumstances will allow. For this one evening, Eobert, 
 I am yours. For this once, my Bob, I will second 
 your intended assault upon the common sense, not to 
 say peace of mind, of a lovely and confiding woman ? 
 What a goose she must be V* 
 
 Eight o^clock that evening saw us strolling leisurely 
 past Laburnum Cottages. A small carriage-sw0ep led 
 up to each, and the gates, in the instance of Number 
 Three, standing open, there would, we saw, be no
 
 302 Solid Reasons. 
 
 difficulty in slipping unobserved into the little shrub- 
 bery which^ as Bob had said, reached, at one point, 
 within a few paces of the house. 
 
 It was not without a slight blush, such as might 
 become the cheek of a youthful burglar cracking, to 
 speak technically, his maiden crib, that, following the 
 intrepid Bob, I stole into the laburnum covert. It was 
 growing dark. Bob^s watch indicated the appointed 
 time, when the sound of a window, gently opened, 
 reached our ears. 
 
 " A — he — em V remarked a soft voice. 
 
 '^ Thank you, I am aware of it,^' murmured Bob. 
 " I see you distinctly, sweet. Eke — e — em ! (A little 
 to the front, Greorge, my boy.)^' 
 
 I stepped out just clear of the trees, Bobby, with 
 his head in the fork of a large laburnum, close in my 
 rear. 
 
 " Come no nearer,^^ said the voice from the window. 
 
 " I obey in all things,'^ replied Bob, with alacrity, 
 while I made a graceful bow. 
 
 " I see your figure quite well." 
 
 ^'^ Thank Heaven you don't /" said Bob, in a fervent 
 whisper. 
 
 ^^ But I have very solid reasons for the caution I 
 exhibit." 
 
 '^ Not so solid as mine," muttered Bob. 
 
 ^^ And I must beg jou not to misinterpret my 
 present line of conduct. I cannot, sir, be insensible 
 to the persevering nature of your pursuit of me. I 
 have seen you many times, when you were not aware 
 of it " 
 
 " The deuce she has !" said Bob, rather uneasily.
 
 Solid Reasons. 303 
 
 " And, dark as it was, have never failed to recognise 
 that countenance, which, I must own, at our first 
 meeting, impressed me in a manner only to be under- 
 stood by those who have tested the imponderable 
 essences in the crucible of rational experiment. For do 
 not imagine that the meeting of our eyes on the occasion 
 I refer to was accidental. A powerful magnetic 
 impulse compelled me, as it were, to look round the 
 partition, and I was in nowise astonished to find your 
 look awaiting mine. It is useless, my unknown friend, 
 to contend against these occult influences. In that 
 conviction, I have laid aside, in some measure, the 
 reserves of my sex, and permitted this interview. I 
 did, indeed, make some efibrt to contravene the decree 
 of Fate, since, destined as we probably are, ultimately, 
 for each other, I yet foresee diflaculties to be en- 
 countered, obstacles to be reduced, prejudices overcome. 
 
 In short, I Hark ! I fear we are about to be 
 
 inteiTupted. You may approach the window for one 
 moment, but do not utter a word." 
 
 I had been dying with curiosity to see the speaker 
 more distinctly, for the voice was silver-sweet as 
 Juliet's own; and, without waiting to consult my 
 principal, made but three paces to the window, con- 
 cealing my features as I might. One glance at the 
 face that bent over the window-sill sufficed to assure 
 me that Bob had not been romancing. I had never 
 seen anything lovelier in woman. The stars that had 
 begun to gather over us seemed to reflect themselves 
 for an instant in those eyes that gazed down on me. 
 
 A hand glistened out from the darkness ; it was not 
 very far from my lips ; it presently became nearer ; it
 
 304 Solid Reasons. 
 
 was soft, and wliite, and rather plump_, tliat hand, and 
 it bore a sapphire — poor counterfeit of the ghttering 
 eyes above. 
 
 "Wednesday week. The Botanical. Across the 
 rhododendrons'' was whispered hurriedly. There was a 
 burst of light in the apartment. Back I skipped to 
 covert. 
 
 " Across the rhododendrons ! Whij across — V 
 began Bob, discontentedly. 
 
 " Ingrate ! Can anything be more fortunate ? 
 Tour rhododendron I take to be a plant of considerable 
 volume. Protected by one of these, you might, were 
 you as fat as your maternal ancestor himself, hold 
 converse with your princess as lightly and uncon- 
 cernedly as though you had the waist of a wasp.^^ 
 
 Robert assented, and we walked home, highly 
 delighted with the prospect of affairs. 
 
 Wednesday week, according to Botanical tradition, 
 proved a day of terrific storm and tempest. Tents 
 there were, indeed, but, from the spouting, dropping, 
 and drizzling in all directions under their fictitious 
 shelter, one might have imagined it rather an in- 
 teresting display of waterworks provided by the 
 society. 
 
 The crowd was immense, and as Bob^ regardless of 
 long dresses, fought his desperate way to the region of 
 rhododendrons, the eyes of more than one fair train- 
 carrier spoke those daggers it is not considered polite 
 to use. I followed, but not closely, as Bob was on this 
 occasion both to show and speak for himself. 
 
 Suddenly I noticed my friend stop dead short ; a 
 change came over his really handsome face, the colour
 
 Solid Reasons, 305 
 
 mounting to tlie roots of Ms hair. Following Ms 
 gaze, I saw tlie beautiful face that had fascinated him 
 come slowly into view as if rising from a nest of 
 flowers. It greeted him with a frank, sweet smile, 
 after which an animated conversation ensued, a tall 
 hedge of rich blossoms alone separating the pair. 
 This lasted nearly half an hour, at the end of which 
 the lovely head subsided into the crowd, and was seen 
 no more. 
 
 Bob came back to me hopelessly enslaved and 
 slightly incoherent. 
 
 " She is all that man's soul could covet, old fellow. 
 Oh, George, George! Sweet enthusiast ! Is it not 
 wretched — is it not frightful, sir ? Condemned to an 
 inalienable inheritance of obesity ! Tied to this un- 
 wieldy log of a body ! But she loves me, George — 
 she loves me ! We shall meet. What do you think 
 is our next rendezvous ! The lecture-room of the 
 Polytechnic — the dissolving views ! Now, can any- 
 thing be luckier ? Totally dark. She will be in the 
 second seat from the back, just perceptible, in a white 
 lace mantilla. We are to correspond, too, at pleasure, 
 for it seems that she is perfectly free to act as she 
 pleases, except in being confined to these odd ways of 
 meeting, which, however, suit me, for the present, 
 admirably.^' 
 
 " Independent, and yet unable to receive you openly? 
 Did she offer no sort of explanation V 
 
 " Spoke vaguely of ' reasons,' merely remarking 
 that, were I acquainted with them, I should allow them 
 every weight.'' 
 
 '^ You might have retorted. Bob."
 
 306 Solid Reasons. 
 
 ^^ She talked, too/' said he,, ^'^in lier sweet fanciful 
 way, you know, of tlie width, or breadth, of some 
 barrier which at present keeps us asunder/^ 
 
 '^ My dear Bob, rely upon it she has seen you/^ 
 
 '^Impossible !" said Bob. ^^ I have never been off 
 my guard. The precautions I have taken would baffle 
 Eobert Houdin himself. At parting, she gave me a 
 word of consolation. ' Though 'inountains rose between 
 us,-* said the sweet girl, with her bewitching smile, 
 ' the spirit of love shall reduce them into smoothest 
 lawns .^^' 
 
 " Mountains ! Bob, this woman is quizzing you.^^ 
 
 '*' Does this look hke quizzing V asked Bob, reve- 
 rently producing a silken tress, about two feet long, 
 wrapped in silver paper. ^' She passed it through the 
 pelargoniums.''^ 
 
 " The what V 
 
 " The flowers,^' replied Bob, generally. 
 
 I saw my friend no more till after the meeting at 
 the Polytechnic, of which he gave me a succinct 
 account. Obscure as it was, he at once detected the 
 glimmer of the white mantilla. The white mantilla 
 was attended by two sister-robes of grey, one of which 
 appeared to yield place to the opaque shadow that 
 approached them in the person of Bob. 
 
 A little cool hand was ready to welcome him, and the 
 silver voice had so much to say, that Lisbon flourished 
 and was destroyed, the fight of Waterloo resolved 
 itself into Ascot Races, the eruption of Vesuvius was 
 quenched in the waters of Niagara, and the final 
 (pictorial) dissolution was at hand, before its topics 
 seemed half exhausted. Before, however, the hght
 
 Solid Reasons, 307 
 
 returned, the ttree mantillas — like phantoms — rose, 
 and glided away, Bobby receiving a caution whicb he 
 was well content to obey, to remain for the moment 
 where he was. 
 
 He had contrived to glean from his beloved a con- 
 siderable amount of information touching herself. 
 Here it is. Caroline de Clerville was an English- 
 woman. Though scarcely twenty, she had been for 
 two years the widow of a French nobleman, who died 
 within a few weeks of his marriage, leaving her in 
 aflBuent circumstances. A cousin of her deceased 
 husband resided with her as ^^ dame de compagnie,^' 
 and a cousin of her own — the second grey mantilla — 
 was her frequent visitor. Bob averred that, over and 
 above her external charms, she was the most sensible 
 woman he had ever known. She spoke, for example, 
 with the most supreme disdain of mere personal 
 appearance (indeed, this seemed to be one of her 
 favourite topics), and was constantly inculcating the 
 doctrine that the body being but, as it were, the hand- 
 maid of the soul, it mattered little in what guise it 
 went about the latter^s work. 
 
 So charmed was Bob with these liberal sentiments, 
 and with the undisguised interest his beautiful mis- 
 tress took in him, that he was half tempted to put 
 them to the test, by revealing his portly presence in 
 all its rotundity, when a letter — a sweet little letter of 
 love — reached his hand, containing, in a postscript, 
 the information that the writer would be present, on 
 a certain evening, at a ball given by a friend of hers, 
 from whom she would obtain a card for Bob. 
 
 Bob turned pale ; his courage had entirely vanishe d 
 X 2
 
 808 Solid Reasons. 
 
 No escape now; substitution was impossible. Sliow 
 himself he must, and that in a costume calculated to 
 do even more than common justice to his size. Fancy 
 the tight bodycoatj the swelling white waistcoat. 
 Madness ! 
 
 The poor fellow subsided into a profound melancholy, 
 shut himself up, refused nourishment, would not even 
 Bee me, his friend. 
 
 It was the night before the ball, at which Bob must 
 appear, or be for ever ruined in the good graces of his 
 beloved, when, as I was calmly smoking the cigar that 
 closed the day, my friend burst into the room in the 
 highest state of joyful excitement, literally dancing 
 round me and flourishing a card over his head. 
 
 " Look there, sir ! look there ! " he exclaimed at 
 last, panting for breath, as he thrust the card into my 
 hand, "left-hand corner, George. Huzza! '' 
 
 I looked. In very minute characters appeared the 
 two important words, '^ Fancy Dress. ^^ 
 
 I understood in a moment Bob^s exultation. 
 
 ^^ And how,^^ I asked, " do you propose to dress for 
 it ? Something loose, eh ? Persian, or '^ 
 
 '^As tight as possible,^^ retorted Bob. ^^I shall 
 go, sir, as it is very fitting I should do, in the 
 character of my own maternal ancestor.''^ 
 
 "Daniel Lambert ?'' 
 
 " The same,^^ said Bob, with dignity. " His own 
 
 'coat, his identical waistcoat, my widest summer 
 
 trousers, a cushion here, towels there, and the thing 
 
 is done. I say, old fellow, I wonder how she will go ? 
 
 A sylphide ? Virgin of the Sun ? Twilight ? Snow ?
 
 Solid Reasons, 309 
 
 Undine ? Yes, Undine, that's her style ; '^ and so he 
 bade me good night. 
 
 The interest I felt in the result of this singular 
 love-affair induced me to assist at Bob^s toilet, and in 
 truth I was astonished to perceive how small an 
 amount of adventitious aid had become necessary to 
 the exemplification of the illustrious character Bob 
 had selected. 
 
 After allowing him a few minutes to habituate him- 
 self in some degree to the management of his aug- 
 mented person, we sent for a cab; but a little more 
 time was lost, for, on presenting our revived Lambert 
 on the door-steps, the man, struck with sudden terror, 
 departed at a gallop, and was seen no more. A second 
 driver, more collected, and confining himself to re- 
 monstrance, was quickly satisfied that the load was 
 not so immoderate as it appeared, and Bob was at 
 length fairly under way. 
 
 If the real Daniel Lambert ever went to a fancy 
 ball in the height of a London season, it is to be 
 hoped and presumed he went early. Poor Bob had 
 quite forgotten the unusual difficulties that would 
 naturally attend his getting up and down stairs. 
 Now, Lady Pennard^s house, though large, was in- 
 sufficient for the number invited, and when the door 
 which, previously open, had been duly slammed in 
 Bob's face, in order that the form of knocking might 
 be gone through, finally admitted him, hall, lobby, 
 and stairs presented a mass of plumed and jewelled 
 heads which seemed impenetrable. 
 
 Nearly an hour elapsed before Bob could succeed
 
 310 Solid Reasons. 
 
 in reaching tlie ball-room. To him it seemed like 
 twenty years. There were people coming down as 
 well as going up_, and the remarks that emanated from 
 the descendants^ drove Bob nearly frantic with im- 
 patience. 
 
 " Superb_, indeed ! I had no conception of her 
 beauty/^ remarked a Circassian^ his large false 
 moustache tickling Bob^s ear. ^' Madame de Clerville 
 is, what her costume would indicate, the queen of the 
 ball ! '' 
 
 " She rarely goes out, I think/' said a spiteful- 
 looking Roxalana. '^ Such faces are not for every- 
 day's wear.'' 
 
 '^ Magnificent dress ! " 
 
 '^ Looks the character to the very life." 
 
 They now approached the bail-room. Bob's name 
 was announced. 
 
 " What's the attraction ? " asked a man at Bob's 
 side, of a friend in front. 
 
 ^' Madame de Clerville is standing up at last. I 
 think she is going to dance." 
 
 The crowd in front of Bob opened, and made way 
 for Lady Pennard, who greeted her extensive guest 
 with a merry smile. 
 
 " Oh, Mr. Bigge, I am so glad you are come ! 
 Madame de Clerville says she is engaged to dance the 
 first set with you, and has refused half the room al- 
 ready. Come along ! " 
 
 ^^ Dance, Lady Pennard ! " panted Bob. " I — eh — '^ 
 
 ^' Oh, it will be lovely ! " cried the merry little 
 hostess. "What an excellent idea! What could 
 have put it into your heads ? "
 
 Solid Reasons. 311 
 
 '^ Heads ! ^' Bob was conscious of having but one 
 sucb organ, and devoutly wished '^ it ^' had never en- 
 tered that ; but there was no help, and as he waddled 
 up the entire length of the room, his immense coat- 
 skirts swaying, like mighty banners, from side to side, 
 and the protuberance covered by his vast striped 
 waistcoat moving in unison, the en lire assembly were 
 in convulsions of mirth. Happily, Bob's mind was too 
 much engrossed with the impending introduction to 
 be very captious about general criticism. 
 
 ^^ Here, my dear countess, is your tardy cavalier,^' 
 said Lady Pennard. 
 
 A circle of admirers had opened, and Bob stood face 
 to face with his beloved. 
 
 '' I present Mr. Daniel Lambert to the first beauty 
 of Teheran,^' laughed the hostess, as she ghded away. 
 
 Beautiful as he had known her to be. Bob was per- 
 fectly dazzled with her loveliness on this occasion. 
 She wore a Persian costume of the richest kind, so 
 arranged as, while concealing the actual figure, to 
 make it appear that the fair wearer was prodigally 
 furnished with that most important item in the Persian 
 estimate of beauty — fat. One might have thought it 
 a little over-done, but for the perfect ease and grace 
 with which the beautiful creature seemed to manage 
 that " fair mountain '^ with which nature — or a sugar 
 diet — was supposed to have invested her. 
 
 '' In the name of all that's absurd, why thus dis- 
 figure her charming form ? " was Bob's first thought ; 
 and, perhaps, he might have put it into some poHter 
 form of words, but for a sudden change which came 
 across the countess's face. From evincing a very
 
 312 Solid Reasons, 
 
 decided inclination to laugli^ she became suddenly 
 grave and pale, and seemed almost about to faint. 
 Bobby instinctively extended iiis tremendous arm, 
 wbicli she took, and, avoiding the quadrille about to 
 be formed, moved towards a side-room, which con- 
 ducted into a sort of conservatory, tenanted at the 
 moment by nothing but geraniums. There she sank 
 down on the first seat. 
 
 " Eobert, you have divined my secret,^^ she mur- 
 mured. ^^ Generous, noble man! how kindly, how 
 delicately have you conveyed to me your consciousness 
 of — of my '' 
 
 '''Ahem ! " said the embarrassed Bob. ''^Your ■" 
 
 '' Being, to use the popular expression, considerably 
 broader than I am long ! '' said the countess, smiling 
 with bewitching sweetness. 
 
 . Bob^s pulse stood still. She was exquisitely beauti- 
 ful. Her skin was whiter than the pearls she wore. 
 You might have laid a tender young rose-leaf on her 
 cheek, and never known the difference. Her rounded 
 arms were the perfection of symmetry. But she ivas 
 immensely fat ! 
 
 " But," stammered Bob, hardly knowing what he 
 said, " this decep •'^ 
 
 " Was useless, indeed, dear Eobert," said the still 
 smiling countess. " Your reproach is equally tender 
 and just. Think you I have forgotten how eagerly 
 you coincided in all my opinions relative to the very 
 subordinate position held by the body in our mixed 
 being? Perhaps a little childish vanity whispered me 
 to keep you a short time longer in the dark upon this 
 minor point."^
 
 Solid Reasons. 313 
 
 (" ^ Maximiim/ rather ! '^ muttered Bob.) 
 
 *^ And wlien I found you knew it_, and had dressed 
 yourself in that hideous guise /or my sal:e, thus silently 
 expressing your noble indifference to any amount of 
 size, think, think, Robert, how my heart reproached 
 me for my want of faith in you ! ^^ 
 
 Bob gently pressed the beautiful little hand that 
 laid itself in his. 
 
 "Hem V^ said Bob. "You have used, I think, the 
 term ' hideous ' in reference to my present appearance. 
 Is it — and do not answer lightly — so very distasteful 
 to you ? My excellent maternal ancestor, whose 
 garments, pantaloons excepted, I now wear, though 
 not popular as a partner in a country dance, was, 
 nevertheless, a favourite in general society, and •'^ 
 
 "You are right to stand up for your distinguished 
 relative,^^ said the countess, laughing Kke a Hebe, 
 '' and it would ill-become me to be over critical as to 
 his dimensions round the waist ; but what do you 
 mean?^^ 
 
 " That J, whom you think so noble and disinterested 
 — I, whom you believe, purely for your dear sake, to 
 have made such a booby of myself, am a humbug — an 
 imposture ! Oh, Caroline, Caroline (forgive me — I 
 would kneel — the impossibility of getting up again 
 without assistance alone deters me), I selected this 
 absurd costume solely to conceal from your eyes, for 
 the present, a figure scarcely less preposterous. 
 Caroline, I am — do not start — if anything, a trifle 
 stouter than your charming self !'^ 
 
 A burst of silver laughter was the only reply, in
 
 314 Solid Reasons. 
 
 whicli Bob_, unable to resist tlie pleasant contagion, 
 heartily joined. 
 
 '^ It strikes me we have both been rather silly," said 
 the countess, at last, wiping away the tears that mirth 
 had called into her beautiful eyes ; '' but it must be 
 at least admitted that we both had ^ solid reasons/ " 
 
 END OF VOL. I. 
 
 WTMAN AND SONS, PEINTES8, GEBAT QUEEN STEBET, LONDON, W-C. 
 
 I