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* 'V 
 
 * 
 
 
ALMA MATEK. 
 
 VOL, I. 
 
 • s 
 

 - 
 
 
ALMA MATER; 
 
 OR, 
 
 SEVEN YEARS 
 
 * AT THE 
 
 * 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CAMBRIDGE. 
 
 BY A TRINITY-MAN. 
 
 IN TWO VOLUMES . 
 
 VOL. I. 
 
 Jlontftm : 
 
 BLACK, YOUNG, AND YOUNG, TAVISTOCK-STREET 
 
 1827. 
 
T. C. Hansard, Paternoster-row Press. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 JL HE English Universities of late years have 
 provoked much animated discussion. In some 
 instances, both these 6 eyes of England,’ have been 
 attacked and defended ; in others, one only. But 
 that which has been most c seen into,’ to commit 
 a vulgarism, is Cambridge. The Magazines, 
 Reviews, and all other ephemerals, have each 
 had their day upon this ‘bone of contention 
 the 4 Edinburgh’ first raising the cry, and the 
 c London’ being the last in the field. Playfair, in 
 the former, indeed, would have been a fearful anta- 
 gonist, had he first provided himself with that best 
 of all weapons, a knowledge of the subject of his 
 attack. But his palpable defects in this respect 
 render his assaults pointless, and altogether innocu- 
 ous. A host of subaltern levellers there have 
 arisen, who deserve still less consideration. The 
 writers, however, in the 6 London,’ inasmuch as two 
 of them are themselves well qualified to judge of 
 
 a 
 
VI 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 the merits of the question, must be treated with 
 higher respect, being distinguished members of 
 the Institution they have thought proper to calum- 
 niate. But, when the truth is told, even their 
 aspersions will little avail them — when it is known 
 and considered that these gentlemen, although 
 Senior Wranglers, and otherwise honoured , 
 were, by their own fault , excluded from the emolu- 
 ments of the University. Instead of the degrad- 
 ing alternative of subsisting upon Reviews — 
 of catering for those cormorants of scandal 
 and calumny — at this moment, had not their 
 common sense forsaken them after the Senate- 
 House Examination, these sons of Alma' might 
 be enjoying, with hundreds of others, the 4 otium 
 cum dignitate of a Fellowship. But, actuated by 
 disappointment, they have condescended to calum- 
 niate, and to deride the very source of all the 
 knowledge they possess, and of all the distinction 
 they now hold in the worldo 
 
 Being perfectly well acquainted with the persons 
 and motives of several of these ungrateful revilers, 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 Vll 
 
 I could easily and at once refute their charges, by 
 simply laying bare the motives which influenced 
 them. But, after the maturest consideration, the 
 best service I can render the public, and my own 
 particular Alma Mater, appears to be, a full and 
 frank avowal of my own experience whilst under 
 her protection. I, too, as the Reader will perceive, 
 have been one of the disappointed; but still will 
 I speak honestly, and 
 
 “ Nothing extenuate, nor set down aught in malice.*’ 
 Whatever is disclosed in the ensuing pages, is 
 experience, and nothing but experience — a Seven 
 Years’ Experience. Let Parents and Guardians, 
 and Students themselves, then, read my progress, 
 and I hesitate not to affirm they will find their 
 account in it : at least let them take me as their 
 guide, until one whose more intimate acquaint- 
 ance with the ways of the Cantabs shall present 
 himself as a fitter conductor. This is all I ask. 
 
 THE AUTHOR. 
 
 London , Jan . 17 > 1827 . 
 
ALMA 
 
ALMA MATER; 
 
 OR, 
 
 SEVEN YEARS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF 
 CAMBRIDGE. 
 
 AN these enlightened times, when the lights and 
 shades of every grade of mortals are rapidly pass~ 
 ing in review, perhaps a few loose sketches of 
 College life may amuse and instruct the inquisitive 
 public. With this view and no other, save the 
 prospect of that which the Scripture says the 
 labourer is worthy of, are the ensuing scenes to 
 be disclosed. Imprimis, gentle reader, you may 
 surmise, without being a witch or wizard, that 
 the expositor himself is something more than a 
 mere cockney or country lionizer on the beauties, 
 deformities, and eccentricities of that fine old 
 mother of a million, Granta— yea, that he is even 
 of her own flesh and blood, a real, bona fide, legiti- 
 mate son of hers. Not much of a pet child, per- 
 haps, but enough so to have become possessed of 
 many family secrets; which being perfectly in 
 accordance with the notions of that other old lady, 
 
 VOL. i. 
 
 B 
 
2 
 
 ALMA MATER. 
 
 Dame Nature, the teller of them does not much 
 fear her serious displeasure. Alma Mater, then, 
 you must know, if you don’t already know it, is a 
 stately magnificent personage, about the age of 
 Methusaleh or so, and yet, as to vigour of mind and 
 body, in the very prime of life. Her members, 
 which are seventeen in number, I will not attempt 
 to describe further than by designating Trinity 
 College as the head, and a fine head it is — the 
 most learned, confessedly, in the whole world. It 
 is this head which, like Jupiter’s, gave birth to 
 those Minervas of learning and science, Bacon, 
 Newton, Barrow, Milton, Cowley, Dryden, &c. 
 &c. It is her true and proper knowledge-box. 
 But the most extraordinary fact respecting the 
 lady is the abundant manner in which she “ re- 
 plenishes the earth.” From the day of her birth 
 she has been, and is still, annually delivered of a 
 numerous progeny of sons — some four or five hun- 
 dred at a birth. These hopeful youths, whom she 
 christens with the name of Freshmen, and who 
 are born full-sized, she watches over with most 
 maternal solicitude for three years, at least, and 
 superintends their education herself, by placing 
 them more immediately under the care of their 
 elder brothers. At the expiration of this novi- 
 
ALMA MATER. 3 
 
 ciate, if she approve of the progress they have 
 made in their learning, she names them Wranglers, 
 Senior Optimes, or Junior Optimes, and retains 
 their society by giving them her Fellowship . If 
 otherwise, she calls them Wooden-spoons, '01 
 U6\\oi, Captains of the Poll, Apostles,* and other 
 opprobrious names, and turns them adrift, to go 
 
 * After you have resided something more than three 
 years, at the conclusion of the tenth term, in the month 
 of January, you are examined in the Senate-house, for 
 four successive days, in Mathematics and Metaphysics. 
 All the men of the same standing, amounting to two 
 hundred or upwards, are divided into six classes, according 
 to their merit, as ascertained at the private examinations 
 of each college. Printed papers, containing each about 
 twenty questions, are laid before each class, the 
 solution of each question being previously determined 
 upon by the examiners numerically. At the close of 
 the examination these numbers are summed up for each 
 examinee, and he who has got most is called Senior 
 Wrangler ; then follow about twenty, all called Wranglers, 
 arranged in the order of merit. Two other ranks of 
 honours are there — Senior Optimes and Junior Optimes, 
 each containing about twenty. The last Junior Optime 
 is termed the Wooden Spoon. Then comes the list of the 
 large majority called the Hoy Folloi , the first of whom is 
 termed the Captain of the Poll , and the twelve last the 
 Apostles. 
 
 B 2 
 
4 ARRIVAL AT COLLEGE. 
 
 and do the drudgery of the “ black jobs” whether 
 of Physic, the Law, or the Gospel. 
 
 Here ends the general outline of the character 
 of my dear, dear, foster-mother. In the Retro- 
 spective Review (by the bye, the authors of that 
 book ought to be taken up for resurrection-men) 
 of her treatment of me and my several brother 
 Cantabs, I shall fill up the picture. 
 
 In the month of October, eighteen hundred and 
 fifteen, I, and lots more, first saw the light as sons 
 of Alma. A northern light I was, and that’s 
 about all I have to give you as to the source 1 
 sprung from. Furnished by a friend with a 
 letter to the tutor, the present worthy and learned 
 rector of Kendal, in Westmoreland, I made my 
 way with all speed to that spot of all spots — 
 Trinity College. I was received with all the 
 politeness and cordiality for which that gentleman 
 was, and is, conspicuous. In ascending the stony 
 stairs which led to the chapel and dinner belfries, 
 as well as to his rooms, I fell upon a certain dig- 
 nified personage, powdered and perfumed to a de- 
 gree, whom my Freshman sapience forthwith 
 designated as the “ Great Mon w I sought. I ac- 
 cordingly capped him, but this same personage 
 thereupon, as the cap fitted, slunk back to make 
 
TUTOR. 
 
 5 
 
 way for the gownsman, most wisely thinking my 
 obsequiousness was a mere hint that he ought to 
 have been beforehand with me. This man was 
 afterwards my man-milliner, famous for nothing 
 but extortion, dunning, and amorous propensities. 
 But let him pass, that I may proceed. The first 
 question, after the customary civilities, put to me 
 by my tutor, whom I have every earthly reason to 
 venerate, not because he is now well stricken in 
 years, but for the many kind things he did me, 
 was “ How much have you read, Sir?” — “ In 
 classical learning, Sir, X have not made much 
 progress, having gone through Virgil, Horace, 
 Ovid, Cicero, Livy, Sallust, Anacreon, Dalzefs 
 Collectanea, Homer, and part of Demosthenes 
 only — but I have great thirst for more.” This 
 use of the word thirst, made me drink an extra 
 bumper of “ Audit”* that very day at dinner — 
 so ingenious and striking did I deem the thing.’ 
 “ Very well, indeed,” was the reply. “ But what do 
 you know of the mathematics ?” — u Still less, Sir; 
 Ludlam^s Elements being the only book, besides 
 Walkinghame’s Tutor’s Assistant, which I have 
 
 * Trinity has always been famous for the excellence of 
 its ale. The very best is called “ Audit ale, 7 ’ because of 
 being principally used on Audit or feast days. 
 
6 
 
 TUTOR. 
 
 ever met with.” — cc Well, Sir, but do you believe, 
 that, of all this reading, you remember the hun- 
 dredth part ? ” Was the next poser. <c Last 
 Christmas, during the holidays, I visited London 
 for the first time, and there walked about the 
 streets by day, and committed the whole of 
 Horace’s Odes to memory by night ; but this is 
 all I am certain of being able to repeat.” — “ Very 
 well again. Sir, so far ; but do you think you 
 could write down after your own way , any of the 
 Mathematics you have read.” This was a settler. 
 I hummed and hahed for a moment, and then 
 confessed my inability. “ Then know, Sir (was 
 the fag-end of the examination), that at this 
 place, all things— prizes, scholarships, and fellow- 
 ships, are bestowed, not on the greatest readers, but 
 on those who, without any assistance, can produce 
 most knowledge upon paper. You must hence- 
 forth throw aside your slate, which doubtless you 
 have brought with you, and take to scribbling 
 upon paper. You must “ write otit v all you read, 
 and read and write some six or eight hours a day ; 
 and then you will have no reason to repent of your 
 abour. Don’t be alarmed at your scanty progress 
 in the mathematics. When I first entered college, 
 Sir, I knew less of them than you do.” 
 
METAMORPHOSIS. 
 
 7 
 
 A pretty life is college life, internally ejaculated 
 I, as I was preparing to evade this most formidable, 
 though kindest, of tutors. Mr. H. now presented 
 me a list of such books as it would be necessary 
 thus to “ Cram” for the first year’s subjects, and 
 finally gave me an introduction to Mr. Pope, a 
 countyman of mine (now deservedly one of the 
 big-wig s of Emmanuel), who was to have the 
 honour of u taking me to table.” The intervening 
 period, however, was devoted to the metamorphosis 
 of the simple rustic, into the high and mighty 
 gownsman — a potentate of at least fifty subjects 
 in the shape of bed-makers, gyps, shoeblacks, &c. 
 &c. each and every one as humbly submissive as 
 could well gratify the vanity of the vainest. It is 
 true that here and there you meet one of them 
 scratching his poll when his conscience tells him 
 he ought to be doing reverence, but “ exceptio 
 probat regulam,” — a position more easily said than 
 demonstrated. I have known, by the way, some 
 instances of kicking, and similar irreverent chas- 
 tisement, for the like evasions — especially from 
 Freshmen. In a word, it is an established rule 
 that every under-graduate doffs to the master, 
 tutor, and other officers of state, and he in return 
 is capped by every dependant snob of the college. 
 
8 
 
 INTO THE GOWNSMAN. 
 
 Thus suddenly transformed from a snob-apparent 
 (all townsmen whatever are designated by this low 
 waxy appellation) to an empurpled Trinitarian, the 
 swelling folds of the robes, and the tasseled cap, 
 did certainly a little inflate iny youthful imagin- 
 ings, and not thinking “ small beer” of myself, I 
 strutted forth along the streets with a spring in 
 my heels quite new to me, regardless of all but 
 gownsmen. These I deemed as pares cum pari - 
 bus; but whilst musing on my own and their 
 importance, a shopman informed me respectfully, 
 but with the wickedest, most rogueish phiz ima- 
 ginable, although grave enough for the presence 
 of the grand seignior, that my cap was wrong side 
 foremost. Down proud spirit,” was the first 
 suggestion ; I at once saw I was but a Freshman, 
 and that there were distinctions even beyond snob 
 and gownsman . The other and only humiliation of 
 the kind in reserve for me, happened on the first 
 Sunday at the University church. To chapel we 
 repair on Sundays and Saints days in surplices — but 
 to church in the ordinary gowns. This distinction 
 I could not get at by instinct, and accordingly, 
 with two more, whose friends, like mine, had not 
 been too lavish of their advice, marched thither 
 and back “ clad in- robes of virgin white,” to the 
 
9 
 
 “ GOING TO HALL.” 
 
 great entertainment of folks, whose conduct, on the 
 contrary, on such an occasion, ought to have been 
 more heavenward. These and several other mis- 
 takes of Freshmen form a sort of annual feast to 
 those hungry starvelings on wit, whose only meal it 
 is. But to return from the digression, the bell 
 ringing for dinner was now’ forcibly reminding us of 
 our necessities, when I, with Mr. P., who took 
 me to a third-year man, alias Senior Soph, over 
 head and ears, to my dismay, with French Ma- 
 thematics — Lacroix’s three quartos on the Differ- 
 ential and Integral Calculus frightened me most— 
 were attending to the summons, with a resolve to do 
 our best to keep body and soul together as long as 
 possible. We were proceeding along the principal 
 square of the college in front of the Master’s Lodge, 
 surrounded by groups of masters of arts, Noble- 
 men, Fellow-commoners, in their silvery em- 
 broidered togas (upon which my raw attention 
 was strongly attracted), Pensioners, and Sizars, in 
 abundance, all threading the beautiful lawns, via 
 the pavement, and evidently, gay as they seemed, 
 bent upon one object— “ the one thing needful ” — 
 when a spruce, dapper, livery servant announced 
 to me the Master’s desire to speak with me in- 
 stanter. Away goes your humble servant into 
 
10 
 
 IJS EXPRESSIBLE S. 
 
 the presence-chamber of that venerable personage, 
 the lasUbut-one Bishop of Bristol. What for ? To 
 be reprimanded and threatened with being “ put 
 out of sizings and commons”* for daring to appear 
 in trowsers. Nondescripts of this description had 
 seriously offended his lordship, and he had pro- 
 scribed them from his dominions, permitting 
 breeches and gaiters only. So rigidly enforced 
 were the enactments for their suppression, that I 
 was obliged to use all the rhetoric I was master of, 
 to make it clear this error was the lapsus of a 
 Freshman. After this escape I found my friend, 
 and proceeded, without further interruption, to the 
 magnificent Hall of Trinity. Ye readers who have 
 not seen it can form but a very faint idea of it from 
 any description of mine, however elaborate. Suffice 
 it, therefore, to say, that in full term it usually ac- 
 commodates four or five hundred in the following 
 disposition : — At the furthest extremity, under 
 full-length portraits of Newton, Bacon, and 
 
 * By sending to the kitchen and butteries a scrap of 
 paper with the word “ Sizings/ 7 and your signature 
 thereon written, you can u size’ 7 for eatables to the extent 
 of 3s. 6d. worth. By “ Commons” is meant the privilege 
 of dining in hail. The above punishment consists in a 
 suspension of both privileges. 
 
HALL. 
 
 11 
 
 Barrow, runs the Vice-master’s table for Noblemen, 
 Fellows, and Fellow- commoners, with such strangers 
 as they are privileged to invite. Along the right- 
 hand side as you enter there is another long table, 
 for another portion of the same description, but 
 headed by the Dean. The left-hand is selvaged 
 by two tables — one, the upper, for the B. A. gen- 
 tlemen, and the other for the “ Scholars upon the 
 foundation.” In the spacious middle are tables 
 for the Pensioners. The wainscoting, throughout, 
 is adorned with full-length portraits of the illus- 
 trious dead, whose heavenly countenances have 
 often reminded me of that fine saying of antiquity, 
 66 I eat to live ; not live to eat but whether they, 
 at the same time, diminished my doings by one 
 mouthful I cannot safely determine. All I can 
 aver is, that I never observed such workings in 
 others. The whole of the above-described learned 
 and scientific assemblage do most certainly their 
 full duty upon the “ good things provided for 
 their use,” and with the exception of the Pen- 
 sioners' tables (who happen to be independent 
 enough, although their title is against it), there 
 is every day a profusion. The day I am describ- 
 ing was a Saint’s or Fast day, and even the Pen- 
 sioners were handsomely regaled. Every table, 
 
12 
 
 1-] ALL. 
 
 on these occasions, which are pretty numerous , 
 groans with the “ rich licks ” it invites you to. 
 There is a difference, however, and the Fellows 
 take much the lead in the means of goutiness and 
 Falstaffry. Indeed, many of them, like Stephen 
 Kemble, might, without stuffing, personate the 
 “ Fat Knight but as to the 66 Witty Knight,” 
 the thing were problematical ; and yet there is 
 much good humour — yea, sparkling humour, here 
 displayed — but then, if I am not mistaken, in my 
 time, it generally came from the lean kine. Now- 
 a-days the wits are thin enough themselves, God 
 knows — it is their friends and patrons who u laugh 
 and grow fat.” At least, so it is with those who 
 “ live by their wits.” By this time most of us 
 had placed a comfortable and plenary substitute 
 for the empty ness we had just been enjoying , and 
 as a sequitur had somewhat augmented our rotun- 
 dities. For my part I had played a good knife 
 and fork into a defunct cod’s head, and limb of a 
 bullock, and had somewhat diminished the pies, 
 puddings, jellies, Ww^mange (as the squint-eyed 
 waitress behind me for years pronounced it), and 
 trifle. This last was no trifle' with me, for I ever 
 regarded it as a matter of great importance, so ex- 
 cellently well was it whipped up at Trinity. The 
 
TABLE TALK. 
 
 13 
 
 conversation on this occasion, at the upper ends of 
 the tables, where sat the seniors of the several 
 species of flat-caps, was doubtless very superior ; 
 for it seemed to excite great merriment amongst 
 all who heard it — and it may also be reasonably 
 inferred that these elder brothers should strive to 
 lord it over the youngsters. At the head of my 
 table sat Whewell and Cape, who certainly did 
 their utmost to astonish us, and argued upon 
 topics many-kind with much volubility — to say 
 the least of it. Much was neither required nor 
 received from the Freshmen. For myself, I never 
 opened my lips, save to put something between 
 them — but had just leisure enough to hear Pope, 
 flattering himself, I suppose, that he was now in a 
 fair way to evite so hard a fate, utter 
 
 “ Full many a gem of purest ray serene, 
 
 The deep nnfathom’d caves of ocean bear ; 
 
 Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, 
 
 And waste its sweetness in the desert air/’ 
 
 and F — — 11, who was evincing a most shark-like 
 appetite on that particular day, as he also did on 
 every day of the year, 
 
 “ Man wants but little here below, 
 
 Nor wants that little long/' 
 
 +- VOL. I. B 7 
 
14 
 
 LIONIZING. 
 
 But how these learned quotes were introduced, 
 whether 44 by hook or by crook,” I cannot call to 
 mind; I recollect, however, the impression they 
 made upon the Heads — a smile betokening great 
 self-elevation in the smiler over the smilee. 
 
 This first of my college Fasts being ended, I 
 was thinking of feasting my eyes upon the lions 
 of the University ; and accordingly availed myself 
 of the kindness of a Senior Soph, to whom I had 
 a letter of introduction, who volunteered his ser- 
 vices as showman. After 44 wining to a certain 
 extent, just to the verge of seeing two for every 
 one of these wonders (a thing not at all requisite 
 for a Freshman), we sallied forth from his rooms 
 to take a more complete view of the magnificent 
 glories of Trinity, it being, as he remarked, ad- 
 visable to 44 look at home before we went abroad.” 
 To begin with the beginning, we go to the grand 
 entrance, the King’s Gate, leading from Trinity- 
 street into the Great Square. This venerable 
 structure is most famous for being the birth-place of 
 many of the wonderful discoveries of that 44 light 
 of the world,” Sir Isaac Newton. Immediately 
 above the arch, one over another, are two spacious 
 and lofty rooms, having, in each of the four 
 corners, a large recess cut out of the turrets of the 
 
NEWTON. 
 
 15 
 
 tower, which are used for gyp-room, library, &c. 
 according to the taste of the occupant. It was 
 from these identical rooms that the towering 
 
 o 
 
 genius of Newton soared above this nether world 
 to explore the regions of the skies. In this 
 sequestered spot, abstracted from the cares and 
 troubles that disturb the thoughts and engross the 
 time of ordinary mortals, Newton contemplated 
 the Deity in his works, and discovered those ways 
 which the Psalmist has declared “ past finding 
 out.” 
 
 Until recently, on the top of this tower was an 
 Observatory, erected and used by Newton. This 
 some wiseacre caused to be removed, because, 
 forsooth, from its dilapidations, and the motion 
 of the instruments arising from the traffic in the 
 street, it had become useless. This barbarous 
 destruction of a precious relic, which the spirit of the 
 Ancient Greeks would have consecrated to Immor- 
 tality, 6C damns” the perpetrators “ to everlasting 
 fame.” From men of Trinity ? Impossible! It 
 is incredible that the same beings, who zealously 
 contend to inhabit the place over which the in- 
 spiring genius of Newton still hovers, should 
 demolish it. 
 
 Many anecdotes are told of Newton’s “ absence 
 
16 
 
 NEWTON. 
 
 of mind,” ascribable to this total abstraction 
 from the world and its ways, which, to such 
 readers as may not have heard them, will doubtless 
 prove amusing. Eccentricities of almost every 
 other class than this are nothing but affectation 
 and presumption. For instance, were a person of 
 great classical or other erudition, to insist upon 
 smoking in the presence of fine ladies, to whom 
 such filthiness is disgusting, I should pronounce 
 him to be a great bear, and too presumptuously 
 great in his own estimation to be great in reality. 
 Another person, you may find, who ranks high as 
 a scholar, dressing in so odd a manner, that people 
 stand to look at him as they would at a Galanty- 
 show. This man, I say, has not mind's- eye 
 enough to take the slightest peep into himself. 
 There can be no depth in such bad taste. All 
 things truly great are truly simple — even to those 
 laws of nature which rule the vast worlds of the 
 universe. In all the operations of nature, it is 
 her simplicity which strikes the intelligent beholder. 
 The Son of God was simple, meek, and lowly, as 
 a lamb. Newton, who is allowed to have risen 
 highest of those creatures whom God “ formed 
 after his own image,” was also the simplest of 
 mankind. It is said that this great practical, as 
 
NEWTON. 
 
 17 
 
 well as theoretical philosopher, having on a certain 
 occasion, left a candle burning near to a pile of 
 papers, the result of years of fatiguing study, and 
 doubtless like all his other writings, full of brilliant 
 discoveries, his dog Dido upset it, so that they 
 were utterly destroyed. The only lamentation he 
 sent forth on his return, was, “ Dido, Dido, thou 
 little knowest the mischief thou hast done/’ 
 
 On another occasion, a friend, for the joke’s 
 sake, having eat the chicken served up for his 
 dinner, on seeing the bones, Newton exclaimed, 
 “ How forgetful I am ! I thought I had not 
 dined,” and returned to his meditations, supposing 
 all was as it should be. Being much attached to 
 domestic animals (although for woman, sweet 
 woman, he seems to have had no impulses abso- 
 lutely irresistible, inasmuch as he is said always 
 to have resisted the tender passion — or, at all 
 events, to have so highly valued the daughters of 
 Eve, as to have deemed them worthy of all or 
 nothing of a man’s time and attention), he pos- 
 sessed himself of a cat as a companion to his dog 
 Dido. This cat, in the natural course of events, 
 although Newton had probably not calculated upon 
 it, produced a kitten ; when the good man, seeing 
 at a glance, the consequences of the increase of 
 VOL. i. c 
 
18 
 
 NEWTON. 
 
 his family, issued orders to the college carpenter 
 to make two holes in the door, one for the cat and 
 the other for the kitten. Whether this account 
 be true or false, indisputably true is it that there 
 are in the door to this day two plugged holes of 
 proper dimensions for the respective egresses of cat 
 and kitten. There is also a story about his 
 having used a young lady’s finger for a tobacco 
 stopper, the young lady in question having sided 
 up to him from a penchant either for his conver- 
 sation or his person, or probably for both. The 
 one of his having told the servant to remove the 
 grate, to prevent the fire from any longer roasting 
 his shins, is not altogether probable. There are, 
 moreover, many other strange tales of Newton’s 
 absence, which I forbear to relate because of their 
 improbability. 
 
 We had thus, for a considerable time, mused 
 upon the grand entrance to the college, and the 
 abode of Newton, when, proceeding onwards, my 
 intelligent guide, after pointing out the imposing 
 view through the huge way of the Great Court 
 (which is certainly romantic in the extreme, from 
 the dimensions, aided by the turrets, pinnacles, 
 and embattlements which are lavished upon the 
 venerable stone buildings in ample profusion), 
 
newton’s STATUE. 19 
 
 directed my attention to a stately gothic pile on 
 the right, which from its buttresses and arched win- 
 dows, I speedily recognised as the College Chapel, 
 All impatient to see the statue of Newton, by 
 Roubiliac, in praise of which I had heard much 
 even out of the University, I dragged my friend 
 into the interior, although in the short space of an 
 hour he told me the chapel-bell would ring to 
 bring the whole college, nolens volens, there to 
 evening prayers. A person even like myself 
 neither addicted to, nor gifted with, the smallest 
 taste for the art itself, must at the very first glance 
 at this noble specimen, be all wonder and astonish- 
 ment, that such depth of intellect, such profound 
 contemplative wisdom, and grave all-searching 
 thought, could be portrayed in unmeaning lifeless 
 marble. In me, perhaps, this enthusiastic admi- 
 ration of the statue may have been greatly enhanced 
 by my profound reverence for the man, but stupid 
 and unused to the sight of living intellectual 
 superiority must that person be, who could behold 
 this statue without feeling these emotions in a 
 very great degree. To me, save the organ, whose 
 swelling majestic tones I was longing to hear, 
 having from my earliest infancy loved music to 
 such an ungovernable excess, that there is scarcely 
 c 2 
 
20 
 
 CHAPEL. 
 
 an instrument, wind or stringed, on which I have 
 not attained such a degree of proficiency as to 
 amuse thereupon myself, there was no other object 
 at that time in the chapel of strikingly impressive 
 interest. There were busts of great men in every 
 direction, and a full-length sleeping beauty of a 
 warrior lying in as great state as the kings in 
 Westminster Abbey ; but the former wakened no 
 such high thoughts even as the prism Newton 
 holds in his hand, and as to the latter, why I 
 thought about as much of him as I ever did of 
 generals in general. Their being great or little 
 is all u the chance of war.” One frisk of fortune 
 elevates them to the peerage, another “ offs with 
 their heads.” Moreover, there is a magnificent 
 altar-piece by West, depicting the fight between 
 the respective champions of angels and devils, and 
 this painting is also most richly set in massive 
 carved oak. But even these, together with the 
 chequered marble pavement, made no impression. 
 My mind, aspirant and ambitious to emulate, as 
 far as in me lay, the being whose chiselled sem- 
 blance even I adored, was wholly occupied in plans 
 of future greatness. Rapt in these musings, 
 the chapel-bell having now finished its monitory 
 ding-dong, we are suddenly surrounded by hosts 
 
CHAPEL. 
 
 21 
 
 of gownsmen, or rather of surplice-men , it being, 
 as I before said, a Fast-day. The sight of this 
 change of things discomposed me not a little, not 
 being yet provided with the garb most emblematic 
 of purity and holiness ; but my friend, stepping 
 to Newby, the chapel- clerk, presently arrayed me 
 in one, which he had borrowed from the ante- 
 chapel, the depository for those surplices, whose 
 masters w r ere too luxurious to bear them home, 
 and too wealthy to grudge payment for Newby’s 
 care of them. Thus caparisoned, I contrived, 
 with the exception of a few desperate stumbles (the 
 surplice being about twice too long in the train for 
 me) to reach my proper seat in the Sanctum Sanc- 
 torum. The chapel was thronged to excess, the 
 admissions that year having been unusually nume- 
 rous ; and the spectacle, presenting in long parallel 
 lines, one rising above another, the select youth of 
 Britain, pure and unspotted (at least in ap- 
 pearance) as their angelic vests, was to me, at first 
 sight, as it were, a peep into Heaven. But when 
 the fine undulating swells of the organ (the best 
 perhaps in the kingdom), in “ notes of solemn 
 sound/’ first struck my tympanum with the chant, 
 the delusion was complete. So fond a remem- 
 brance have I of the ecstacies wrought in my soul 
 
22 
 
 CHAPEL. 
 
 by the divine harmonies — the chants I used to 
 hear at Trinity — that before I proceed one step 
 further I must woo my musical readers sympathy, 
 by sketching from memory the following speci- 
 mens. If he (there can be no she so soulless) be 
 not smitten with them, let him hand them over to 
 the ladies, and proceed. 
 
CHANTS FOR THE PSALMS. 
 
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CHAPEL. 
 
 29 
 
 If these harmonies should have the effect of 
 disposing one single family to chant, like David, 
 the praises of their Maker, reminding them 
 of the “ Choirs above,'” I shall feel I have, in this 
 unpsalm- singing age, deserved something of my 
 country. At all hazards, let us not shun the 
 pleasant things around us because they savour of 
 holiness. Let us rather be even with Rowland 
 Hill (who won’t allow the wicked ones a monopoly 
 in music), and filch from the saints. Delectable 
 as is the devilry of Der Freischutz, Don Giovanni, 
 and the like (they say his most musical Majesty ’s 
 in ecstacies with Von Weber), there are many other 
 pieces, which although more celestial are not less 
 divine. 
 
 The chanting being ended, in due course of time, 
 the organ struck up the prelude to “ Comfort 
 ye, my people,” and another treat I was prepared 
 for. But although the gifted fingers of Dr. Clarke 
 (now Professor Whitfield) did all the sublimity of 
 Handel, there was wanting a Braham to tune us 
 to the inspirations of the prophet. From such as- 
 sociations of ideas, unreasonable as they were, 
 perhaps, I never much minded the anthems. 
 There was a boy, indeed, amongst the choristers, 
 who in a solo part in the Creation, about once a 
 
30 
 
 PREPARATIONS. . 
 
 month, by particular desire , used to warble very 
 sweetly ; but then, as in the notes of the nightin- 
 gale, there was wanting that fire and expression 
 which alone can charm the intellectual ear. It 
 was “ vox, et praeterea nihil/’ 
 
 This ceremony being over, away goes your 
 humble servant, escorted by the tutor’s gyp, to 
 purchase, not for the ready (put on a cap and 
 gown and you can have tick for a thousand), all 
 the implements of housekeeping. Crockery-ware 
 in abundance (not forgetting a very necessary 
 item, which the good lady of the shop delicately 
 reminded me of), tea-kettles, coal-scuttles, &c. &c. 
 were no sooner ordered than sent to my lodgings 
 (there was not room in college), in King-street, 
 opposite Jesus. I followed, and, having “ bitched” 
 (that is taken a dish of tea), arranged my books 
 and boxes, as well as my implements of huswifry, 
 taken a comfortable supper, and a good-night 
 of mine hostess, first sought the balmy slumbers 
 of a gownsman. 
 
 Sweet are the slumbers, indeed, of a Freshman, 
 who, just escaped the trammels of “ home, sweet 
 home,” and the pedagogue’s tyrannical birch, for 
 the first time in his life, with the academical 
 gown, assumes the toga virilis , and feels himself 
 a Man — 
 
DISAGREEABLES. 
 
 31 
 
 “ The sweetest far in life, 
 
 Except ; tis with a wife.” 
 
 But as thou’rt beginning to nod, reader, I wish 
 thee pleasant dreams and an bon repos. 
 
 Winter and summer to matins we are sum- 
 moned at seven in the morning, and unless we 
 arrive in time for the Markers to get a glimpse at, 
 and run their pins # through us, we may as well 
 be hugging the pillow. In my noviciate we had 
 but two Markers, and one of them, whose Chris- 
 tian name was Anthony (surname he never had 
 I believe, his mother residing in the Rookery at 
 Barnwell ; and his partiality for the gownsmen, 
 clearly evincing an alliance by blood thereunto), used 
 to see many a one there, who, knowing he had a 
 friend in Mark Anthony, was loud snoring at 
 home. These oblations at the shrine of Mor- 
 pheus, were gratefully received by that deity, who, 
 in return, used to load the devotee with the rich 
 gifts of Plutus and Bacchus. It was a common 
 practice with some of these sluggards whom I 
 could name, to make the boy u Bacchi plenus.” 
 
 * Three or four Markers, with lists of the names in 
 their hands, walk up and down chapel during a consi- 
 derable part of the service, running a pin through the 
 names of those present. 
 
32 
 
 DISAGREEABLES. 
 
 Although I never had recourse myself to such 
 evasions, so irksome and borish did I ever find 
 this early rising, spite of the health it promised, 
 that I was constantly in the black-book of the 
 Dean, its presiding Deity — one week being <c put 
 out of Sizings and Commons,” another getting an 
 66 Imposition in the shape of having to get by 
 heart a satire of J uvenal, a book of Homer, to 
 give an analysis of Butler’s Analogy, to write a 
 declamation criminating myself (by the way, this 
 is not constitutional), and, in short, to do so many 
 disagreeables, that the very recollection of them 
 makes my pen drop. 66 There is no compulsion” 
 in this Chapel-going, “ only you must ” — or abide 
 the above consequences. Times many, on surplice 
 mornings, my duty to his deanship has been so 
 somnolent that, having slumbered to the last tingle 
 of the bell, sans inexpressibles, sans almost every 
 thing, I have whipped on the full-flowing surplice, 
 and just saved my bacon. 
 
 Were I to turn reformer, I should propose 
 making a muster-room (on ordinary week days, 
 the avowed use of chapel is to see that all men are 
 in college), not of a place consecrated to religion, 
 but should assemble them, at a reasonable hour of 
 the day, in the Lecture-room, or Hall. If this 
 
CHAPEL. 
 
 33 
 
 measure were adopted, the chapel then being kept 
 holy, in being used but for solemn occasions, such 
 as Sundays and Surplice-days, it is more than 
 probable, that, instead of prayers being conducted 
 as they now are, there would be somewhat more of 
 reverence and devotion in them. As things now 
 go, there is not one man who goes to pray — not 
 even amongst the saints or Simeonites.^ In the 
 morning they muster, with all the reluctance of a 
 man going to be hanged ; and in the evening, 
 although now awake, and enlivened with the con- 
 vivialities of the bottle, there is much the same 
 feeling. They contrive, however, when once assem- 
 bled, not only to lose sight of the ostensible object 
 for which they are called together, but also of the 
 disagreeable necessity of thus congregating. Table- 
 talk is much more abundant here than u at table ” — 
 there being no other occupation, and the wine having 
 by this time sufficiently (in many cases overmuch) 
 warmed the imagination, it also smells more of the 
 champagne. So effervescent is it, indeed, that 
 the Dean, with all his eyes about him, cannot keep 
 
 * Every body knows that at Trinity Church, Cam- 
 bridge, there has been, evangelizing the gowns- 
 men for the last half century, a great saint called 
 Simeon. 
 
 D 
 
 VOL. I. 
 
34 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 the cork in. Out it sparkles, spite of him, in 
 sallies like these : 
 
 Enter two Reading Freshmen. W. and M., of 
 the same standing (men of the same year sit toge- 
 ther, the Freshmen together, Junior Sophs, Senior 
 Sophs, Scholars, Bachelors of Arts and M. A., &c.). 
 
 W. [Speaks in a loiv whisper]. How did you 
 like Brown’s lecture ? 
 
 M. O ! tol lol. I thought he proved that a 
 to the power of nothing equals one, very prettily. 
 
 W. By the bye, Pope showed me to-day how 
 to prove two equal to one. 
 
 il/. The devil he did : as how, pray ? 
 
 W. [ Pencils it in the Prayer-book whilst 
 kneeling ]. Thus, look — 
 
 Because „r 2 — x 2 ^x.(x — t),& also = (# -f x)(x—x) 
 Therefore x.(x — ,r) = (x + x)(x-^-x) = 2.x(x — - x) 
 Therefore 1 = 2. Q. E. D. 
 
 M. Well, that’s odd. 
 
 W. Yes, its odd enough that odd should be 
 even, and singular enough that singular should 
 be plural. I’ve done with grammar after this. 
 
 M. Ha, ha, ha, 66 thank you, good sir, I owe 
 you one.” 
 
 W. If you owe me any, you owe me two. But 
 “ be quiet, I know it,” Newby ’s coming with his 
 long-pole. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 35 
 
 M. That’s the first time I’ve heard of his 
 long- head, ha, ha. 
 
 W ‘ Be quiet, or I’ll shave your’s for you — I 
 
 don’t relish, for my part, being “ hauled over the 
 coals” by either the Dean or his deputy — so have 
 done with your giggling— if you please, Sir. 
 What ! at it again ! — “ Never mind me, Sir !’* 
 Lord, you would titter at your own tail, if you 
 only had one. 
 
 M, Hoh, hoh, hoh. 
 
 When up comes Newby, who, with M.’s quickly-* 
 subsiding laugh, says, u The Dean will be happy 
 to see you this evening, Sir, immediately after 
 chapel.” Poor M., who being as risible as iras- 
 cible (his sensibilities of every kind were easily put 
 in action), was in frequent scrapes of this kind. 
 I used to take a wicked pleasure in thus setting 
 in motion the muscles of his very funny face, 
 which, when once off, he could never stop, but 
 at every quaint expression or thought, would re- 
 ceive a fresh impulse, until at length he fell into a 
 hoh, hoh, hoh (into a hoho, a Johnian jogs me), 
 and an Imposition from the Dean. 
 
36 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 Confab between two Non-reading Freshmen , 
 P. and B . 
 
 P. I say, Sir, how dare you call on Miss H. 
 B., xvithout consulting my pleasure ? Its most 
 ungentleman-like, Sir, and you must apologise, or 
 — or — you understand me. 
 
 B. Perfectly, Sir ; but apologies are out of 
 the question. I am bound to explain so far, as to 
 state that the purport of my visit was merely to 
 get the diamond pin I left there when last in your 
 company. Your jealousy’s ridiculous. She is’nt 
 your wife, surely ? 
 
 P. None of your raillery, Sir. I shall not put 
 up with it ; and let me tell you, in your teeth, 
 I don’t believe your flimsy pretext. 
 
 B. S ’death and fury ! what do you give me 
 the lie — I, I, I, {C nemo impune me lacessit” — 
 I, I [about to strike , when up springs Newby ] 
 u The Dean will be glad to speak with you after 
 chapel, gentlemen.” 
 
 These gentlemen were sufficiently cooled by the 
 Dean’s impositions, or, at least, on reflection, by 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 37 
 
 the consequences # of duelling to University men, 
 to hearken to the mediation of friends ; and they 
 were next day as thick as ever. 
 
 Dialogue between two Reading Junior Sophs, 
 T. and W. 
 
 T. O that you had been present at our lecture 
 to-day ; ha, ha, ha. 
 
 W. Why ? Did any of you discover a new 
 planet, a new comet, or —what the de'el’s the 
 matter with you, mon? I warrant me you’ve 
 been playing tricks with Peacock — been plucking 
 a feather out of his tail, or the “ like o’ that,” to 
 write down his conundrums with. (c Quid rides”? 
 
 T. Well, you must know, Peacock asked V., 
 6C Pray, Mr. V. (says he), is the moon opaque 
 or transparent ?” — “ Why r-r-really, Sir, I, I, am 
 not p-p-prepared (you would have sworn he was 
 smoking a cigar whilst pronouncing this word) to 
 d-decide so i-intricate a que-question.” — u But 
 you can give an opinion, Mr. V.”— “ We- well, 
 
 * The challenger and challengee, and all concerned in 
 duelling, are expelled without mercy from the University, 
 which also prevents them from gaining admission at 
 Oxford; so that thus is lost for ever an University 
 education. 
 
38 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 then, Sir, i-if I must give an o-opinion, I th-think 
 i- it transparent.” — “ Why do you think so, Mr. 
 V. ?” — I r-really d-d dont know. Sir.” — u Pooh, 
 you must have some reason ; why is it trans- 
 parent, Sir?” — “ Because it sh-sh-shines so, Sir.” 
 
 W . Ha, ha, ha, he is a shining character, I 
 do-do-don’ t think. 
 
 T '. This was not all. Peacock, to keep up 
 the joke, which he enjoyed as much as any of us, 
 let fly another stickler — “ Mr. V., the moon 
 being opaque, what is your opinion as to its being 
 inhabited ?” — “ I r-r-really have not r-read so far. 
 Sir.” — a You ought, then, Sir ; this being one of 
 the simplest questions in Popular Astronomy. You 
 must have seen this discussed .” — 66 I have never 
 bestowed a-a-any atten-ention upon th-th-is par- 
 ticular su-ubject.” — u Then let me tell you, Sir, 
 the college expects you will, Sir, and without 
 delay. The question’s very obvious, Sir — to any 
 boarding-school Miss, Sir. The moon hangs in 
 the heavens like the earth, and is opaque, moun- 
 tainous, and, in short, in every respect, resembles 
 the globe you and I now stand upon ; why, then, to 
 complete the analogy, is it not inhabited, Mr. 
 V. ?” — u Well, Si-ir, if it be-e inhabited, a-as 
 you sa-y, and a-as you sa-ay, it hangs i-in the 
 hea-avens, i-it must be b-b-b-y angels, Sir.” 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 39 
 
 0 nines, Hoh, hoh, hob, hoh — until Newby, with 
 his magic wand, and still more magic voice, pro- 
 nouncing, u Gentlemen, the Dean desires to speak 
 with you after chapel,” soon turned the hoh, hoh, 
 hoh, into oh ! oh ! oh ! 
 
 Between two Non-reading Junior Sophs , R, and S. 
 
 R, Well, old cock, what sport turned up at 
 B.^s last night ? Your phiz, my fine fellow, looks 
 winish — yea, the liquor’s yet oozing through every 
 pore of you. 
 
 S, Rare fun, Sir. There were six and 
 twenty of us altogether — real good ones — nothing 
 but trumps every one of them, Sir. There were 
 
 Wr J n, M y, J y, and myself, of 
 
 Trinity ; K g, of Jesus; K -e, of Christ’s ; 
 
 K y, of Emmanuel; G y, of Caius ; 
 
 C e, of Clare; Lord N., the honourable S. S., 
 
 and many more prime ones. 
 
 R, Such u birds of a feather’ 5 must have made 
 high game for you. 
 
 S, You’re right, Sir. There was no lack of 
 jollification, I warrant you. We had a d — d 
 good dinner of four courses, and lots of champagne, 
 claret, and burgundy, to begin with. After this, 
 
40 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 Sir, round went the port * and the pines, Sir, to 
 the tune of two bottles a man, when, leaving the 
 young ones catting , the seasoned casts rolled out 
 into the streets — flooring all the snobs from the 
 Great Gate to Maudlin,*!* and back again. 
 
 R. Wild work, Sir; but what were the 
 ProctorsJ about ? 
 
 S. Why, Sir, just as I was finishing a huge 
 sea-monster of a bargee down at the bridge, up 
 comes one of them, with “ Your name and college, 
 Sir. Gentlemen, I must insist upon your in- 
 stantly dispersing,” and so forth. But my mettle 
 being up, and my machinery in full swing, I re- 
 plied by planting a settler into the meddler’s 
 bread-basket, and we left him discussing the mud, 
 
 * This was the wine chosen to get drunk upon, it 
 would appear. 
 
 f Magdalene College is pronounced “ Maudlin 
 College.” 
 
 X Proctors and Pro-Proctors are officers whose duty it 
 is to parade the streets day and night, to quell dis- 
 orderlies. Their powers are more particularly directed 
 against the Cyprians, over whom they- have unlimited 
 control ; being permitted by the statutes to enter by force 
 any house in the town , suspected of concealing them, and 
 afterwards to lodge them in the Spinning House. At 
 Cambridge no??ian’s “ house is his castle.” 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 41 
 
 to return to the bottle, and the queered ones be- 
 hind us. 
 
 R. This must have been uproarious fun, Sir. 
 But what think you of the after-clap ? They'll 
 Rusticate* you, to a certainty, and were I in your 
 shoes, I should feel ripe for Expulsion. 
 
 S, Yes, my knowing one, you probably would 
 have had some fears of that kind, but I, Sir, have 
 mustered a little generalship on the occasion. As 
 soon as I had sobered enough this morning, I 
 waited upon his proctorship with an humble 
 apology, pleading intoxication, tickled him upon 
 the high character he enjoyed for true gentleman- 
 like conduct in office, painted the misery that 
 would fall upon my innocent Pa and Ma, were I 
 to receive my deservings, and so on ; when he 
 graciously relaxed the severity of his brow, and 
 commuted the punishment to a thundering impo- 
 sition of a thousand lines in Homer. Was’nt that 
 clever, eh ? 
 
 R . Manoeuvring, Sir, worthy of Wellington ! 
 Why, Sir, you're cut out for his successor, I pro- 
 
 * To “ rusticate v is to send home for a year or 
 two to be whipt, I suppose, into better behaviour, after 
 they may return. Sometimes the same man is rusticated 
 two or three times, and at last expelled. 
 
42 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 phecy. It was the tickling that nailed him as 
 the Pigs # say. 
 
 S. Ah, ah, ah, you’re a clever punster, really. 
 
 R. Rather puny that way — but proceed to 
 business. What became of you afterwards ? 
 
 S. Right ready for the work, we resumed the 
 bottle, all the party except W. of Trinity, who is 
 known, on all occasions, to sneak away with a skin- 
 full so soon as he begins to h-h-hesitate in his 
 speechifications (look, he over-hears us), being 
 bent upon bringing the sport to a triumphant 
 finish. 
 
 R. What, had the hang-backs got the victory 
 over the two bottles ? 
 
 S. During our sally they had contrived to dis- 
 gorge the enemy, one catting in W.’s cap, and after- 
 wards wiping the sprinklings neatly up in M — y’s 
 gown, &c., another on the floor, and were as ready 
 to swallow him again as the best of us. So at it 
 again we went — some singing at the work — another 
 
 (K y) bruising, a-la Crib, the pannels of the 
 
 door — another kissing the blushing young bed- 
 
 * The Johnians, who are sometimes called Pigs, some- 
 times Hogs (the Trinity are named Bull-dogs, mind ye), 
 have, from time immemorial, been famed for bad puns. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 43 
 
 maker (the Trinity Venus*) — another pouring 
 wine into the gyp to sprawl him under the table— 
 and so on in most delectable confusion — every 
 man a talker and no hearer — full of his own 
 doings, schemes, and imaginings, and quite indif- 
 ferent to the proceedings of others — until the 
 enemy again scaling the upper works, floored all 
 but three of us. 
 
 R. Ah, ah, ah. Well, whilst these were 
 “ biting the dust ,” how reigned the triumvirate ? 
 
 S. Why, Sir, as to myself I scarcely know 
 what I did. Having magnanimously confederated 
 
 to take to pint bumpers, poor C e, first yielded 
 
 prostration to the jolly god, and down, soon after, 
 went the pompous (that’s piggish) six-bottle 
 
 braggadocio, K >e, surrendering the bottle-field 
 
 to your most obedient humble servant — see, Sir . 
 
 R . Hah, hah, hah, hah — how hoggish. Your 
 description is as swinish as the scene you describe. 
 
 S. Ohj it was a fine sight, Sir. A glorious 
 sight, by the powers, it was— the plain groaned 
 with the fallen heroes. It was a scene worthy of 
 
 * This was one of the few (two others I recollect, the 
 wry-nosed beauty, and and noseless Jenny) pretty virtuous 
 bed-makers of my time. She was strictly chaste, although 
 namesake to the goddess. 
 
44 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 Homer, Sir. A crown of glory must be their re- 
 ward, quoth I, and forthwith commenced the co- 
 ronation, by clapping a cap full of the empurpling 
 wine upon each man’s tip-top. 
 
 R. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that’s too good ! It 
 will split me. Say no more, I can’t bear it. See 
 you, the Dean is chewing his cud at us, and I have 
 already two infernal impositions ; one for cutting 
 chapel, and the other from the Proctor, for speak- 
 ing to Susan Sterne in the street the other day. 
 
 S. I must tell you the rest, if it really should 
 be the death of you. I can’t keep it in. Well, 
 then, this external application, you must know, 
 to my utter surprise, restored four of the fallen ; 
 if not to reason, it did to legs, and a fresh attack. 
 Joyously as ever the god himself set too, we for 
 some time continued devotions to his godship, 
 when the Waits, aiming to tip us merriment from 
 their obstreperous windpipes, fell a puffing and 
 blowing under the window like so many black- 
 smith’s bellows. 
 
 R. This set you a dancing, I suppose. 
 
 S. Yes, I jigged it ; another waltzed ; a third 
 quadrilled; a fourth boleroed; and we all reeled it to 
 the life , Sir, every moment tumbling over the dead 
 bodies. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 45 
 
 jR. Oh, oh, oh. Yon are really overpowering. 
 
 S. Pooh, fiddle-faddle, I am now coming to 
 the catastrophe. 
 
 R . For God’s-sake, don't provoke me any 
 more now, but tell us the remainder over a bottle 
 of my best to-day after hall. 
 
 S. Its coming, Sir, in spite of me. You 
 may stop your ears as much as you like, but 
 
 murder will out.” 
 
 After the minstrels had raised this commotion 
 for about an hour or so, the tune suddenly changed 
 from the “ Black Joke,” into “ Please your 
 honours, something to wet our whistles, your 
 honours,” which I, taking to be no joke, answered, 
 by first asking, “ How many ?” and then (in reply 
 to “ Eleven and the lan thorn-carrier”), by saying, 
 “ Here, take it amongst you,” at the same time 
 discharging into their wide-gaping whistles a full 
 flowing pail of the true ambrosial — second edition. 
 
 R. Hoh, hoh, hoh, hoh — oh, the poor devils ; 
 to be sure people of their profession must stand 
 all weathers— hoh, hoh, hoh — and a little wet 
 makes the notes of their pipes slip out the more 
 smoothly, you know — hoh, hoh, hoh. Newby 
 [whispers Am], my dear fellow, do stand my 
 friend with the Dean, and tell him you know I am 
 
46 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 a sort of a laughing hyaena — that its a part of my 
 nature — that I can’t help it — that — that — say 
 any thing, only get me out of this scrape, for I’m 
 in two others already. 
 
 Between two Reading Senior Sophs , or Third-Year 
 Men 5 W. and w. 
 
 w. Going to get books out of the Public- 
 library, to-day, whom should I meet in the place, 
 after promenading for a length of time, but Dr. 
 Milner, who, guessing by the length of my phiz, 
 that I was looking for some M. A.* of my ac- 
 quaintance to give me a note for them, in the 
 politest manner imaginable, tendered me his sanc- 
 tion, and away started your humble servant, with 
 a load before him, which in any other place than 
 Cambridge, would have been perfectly snobbish. 
 But as the great Lord Stanhope used to say (the book- 
 sellers all over London tell you so), when trotting 
 along the Strand with a ponderous folio under his arm, 
 
 * Every M. A. is allowed to have ten books out of the 
 Public Library at a time for the term, and should* he not 
 want so many himself, which is generally the case , he has 
 the privilegef(unacknowledged) of giving his note to an 
 inferior for the complement. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 47 
 
 u No workman ought to be ashamed of his tools,” 
 so say I ; and rather than wait till the gyp shall 
 fetch them, I invariably make of? with them pro- 
 pria persona. Besides I have other precedents ; 
 Porson, they say, used to overload himself from 
 that same library — frequently to such a degree as 
 to spill a number of volumes in the mud, to the 
 no small disfigurement, and detriment of their 
 surtouts, and to the high displeasure of the Syndics 
 of the library. 
 
 W. No doubt a person of your erudition could 
 cite instances innumerable to countenance any 
 eccentricities you may choose to indulge in, but, 
 for my part, I love the plain path. 
 
 w. That’s just my way, and I therefore 
 trudge away with the books myself, and cram # the 
 half of one of them snugly in my rooms, whilst 
 others, from a false pride, sending for them, are 
 fretting away their precious moments in angry in- 
 dolence. One of the wisest of men, Franklin, has 
 said, in Poor Robin, “ Dost thou value life ? 
 Then squander not away time, for that is the 
 
 * This is a very common term at Cambridge. Every 
 thing which is learnt, so as to be produced on paper at 
 a moment’s notice, is called cram. 
 
48 
 
 CHATEL SCENES. 
 
 stuff life is made of,” and I applaud the maxim 
 both in word and deed. 
 
 W. Stick to the latter, and you’ll yet be 
 Senior Wrangler. But to revert to the subject 
 you at first started, how came Dean Milner* to be 
 so polite ? Have you been introduced to him ? 
 
 w. Not I, beyond having met him at a party 
 the other day at Dr. D.’s. By the bye, I will 
 tell you a good story about that. Besides the 
 worthy President “f-, there were several other mem- 
 bers of the Golgotha \ with their wives || and 
 daughters, H. of Trinity, and myself. 
 
 W. A goodly set, truly ; but were you and 
 H. not somewhat embarrassed by the presence of 
 these high and mighty rulers of the University ? 
 
 w. Why, I must confess, for my own part^ I 
 was much discomposed thereat, but as for H., the 
 
 * Dean of Carlisle, 
 f President of Queen's College. 
 
 X The u Heads of Houses,” or the u President of 
 Queen's,” the “ Provost of King's,” the Masters of the 
 other colleges, together with the Professors and Noblemen, 
 occupy a gallery in St. Mary's church, which, from that 
 circumstance, is called the Golgotha. 
 
 || These are the only persons retaining University 
 emoluments who can appropriate to themselves “ a 
 better half.” 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 49 
 
 rattle-pate stuck close to the young ladies, simper- 
 ing when they simpered, giggling when they 
 giggled, and, in short, sympathizing in the most 
 amiable and fascinating manner imaginable in all 
 their little effeminacies. 
 
 W. That fool has the effrontery of the old 
 one, but he made a sad blunder the other day at a 
 wine-party where I was. He talked of the 
 Russians having made great strides in civilization 
 during their march into Europe. 
 
 w. Ha, ha. Yes, he has confidence for a 
 dozen, although he is for ever committing himself. 
 On this occasion, after having exhausted his cram 
 upon nonsensicalities for the entertainment of the 
 ladies, he sought to “ astonish their weak minds” 
 by telling them all he knew of Natural Philosophy. 
 He first presented them with a lecture upon the 
 motions of the heavenly bodies, and then, taking 
 the hint from the iEolian Harp, which was sweetly 
 wooing the Zephyrs at the window, expatiated on 
 the cause of these breezes, and of winds in general. 
 a Ladies (says he), the cause of the wind, which 
 we can all feel but none see (except the J ohnians, 
 he might have added), is simply this. That 
 meridian over which the sun is at any time sta- 
 tionary is heated to a greater degree than the cir- 
 
 VOL. I. E 
 
50 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 cumjacent meridians. Now this superior caloric 
 rarefies the air, and since you know, Miss D. (T 
 appeal to you because you are known to be cog- 
 nizant in matters of science), that 6 Nature abhors 
 a vacuum, 5 the colder and denser air from without 
 is continually rushing in, to preserve the equili- 
 brium. This is the cause of the wind. What 
 do you say is the cause of the wind. Dr. Milner?’ 5 
 — ' cc Peas-soup, peas-soup, peas-soup,’ 5 quoth the 
 Doctor, to the infinite merriment of all the com- 
 pany — save one. 
 
 W. and w. Hoh, hoh, hoh . — “ Gentlemen, 
 the Dean wishes to speak with you after chapel, 5 ’ 
 says Newby. 
 
 Between two Non-reading Senior Sophs , M — d 
 and P — m. 
 
 P. Well, Tommy, my boy, how get you on 
 for the Senate-house ? 
 
 M. I have not turned my thoughts thither- 
 ward as yet, and shall not until the last term, 
 when I shall put the governor at home to the ex- 
 pense of a tutor extraordinary, and thus get over 
 the bore of cramming Euclid and Jemmy * in a 
 temporis minimum . You have cut me of late. 
 
 * Alluding to Wood’s Algebra. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 51 
 
 I see nothing of you. What makes you thus give 
 your old Rugby chums the go-by — eh ? 
 
 P. It is you we complain of, and with reason, 
 preferring as you have done the society of London 
 turners # and watch-makers, to that of your old 
 school-fellows. 
 
 M. Why damme. Sir, I like a little variety, 
 you see. Have you seen the set of chess-men I 
 turned last week ? 
 
 P. No. 
 
 M . Deighton, who you know plays devilish 
 well at the game, offered five guineas for them, 
 but were I disposed to sell them, I would not 
 take three times his offer. Here’s a musical watch 
 (pulling it out and placing it whilst kneeling upon 
 the seat) I made lately. How do you like these 
 variations to Robin Adair— eh ? 
 
 P. Exquisite ! divine, Sir. But, do you see, 
 
 * This man had the singular taste of spending some 
 hundreds in learning the arts of turnery and of watch- 
 making. For many months his rooms were converted 
 into a workshop, and from sunrise to midnight, bedecked 
 with apron, paper-cap, and other operative trappings, the 
 madcap used to work as though a wife and a dozen brats 
 were depending upon such exertions for their daily 
 bread. 
 
52 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 Johnny Brown * has an ear for music as well as 
 ourselves. Put it up. Old Newby ? s on the trot 
 already. [Newby comes , but failing to discover 
 the offenders , resumes his post.] 
 
 This musical watch was again set off, and on 
 Newby’s approachj again stopped, several times, 
 when the joke growing stale with the music, the 
 conversation re-commenced in manner following : — 
 P . Well, old man, as you stick so close to the 
 arts, and disregard the sciences, I suppose you are 
 turning over a new leaf. How long is it since you 
 took a turn with the Proctor — eh? 
 
 M. Why, but the day before yesterday, feel- 
 ing all work and no play to be dull sport, I issued 
 forth for a bit of spree with two or three of the 
 right sort, and just as we had flushed a covey of 
 Castle Enders ;-f- doubling the corner of Jesus- 
 lane, I fell into the very jaws of the Proctor and 
 his bull-dogs, who dogged my heels at a devil 
 
 * All those big-wigs who happen to be liked by the 
 students, are generally honoured with some familiar ap- 
 pellative, such as Johnny Hudson , Jemmy Wood , Horny , 
 for Hornbuckle of St. John’s (a personage famous for 
 a habit he has acquired of pulling up his inexpressibles), &c. 
 
 f Castle End and Barnwell, alias the Rookeries, have 
 been for ages the nest of the Cyprians. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 53 
 
 of a rate, fast as you know I can leg It. I bolted 
 down Jesus-lane, whirled round the corner through 
 Garlic-Fair lane, flew over the bridge like light- 
 ning, tumbled over a snob and snobbess in Jesus 
 Common, and without waiting to get up again, 
 threw myself into the arms of old father Cam, and 
 frogged it across him in a twinkling— crying 
 yoicks ! tally-ho ! my hearties. 
 
 P. That’s d — d good, hah, hah, hah. By 
 the Lord ’tis excellent ! hah, hah, so you spoilt 
 the chase, hah, hah, set them at fault, hah, hah. 
 
 M, Here comes old white wand. Hush, hush. 
 
 After Newby had again unsuccessfully attempted 
 to discover these peace-breakers, not as yet having 
 the fear of God or man before their eyes, the talk 
 again commenced by, 
 
 P . I suppose, old cock, you hav’nt had leisure 
 to get drunk for some time past. How long is it 
 since you went to see W. safe to his keep , and 
 couldn’t find your way home again. It was a 
 damned good joke, your rousing Sir Isaac * and 
 his domestics on that memorable occasion. 
 
 * Sir Isaac Pennington, and Sir Busick Harwood, the two 
 physicians, were as famous for punning (the former be- 
 longed to the Piggery be it known) as for physicking. Sir 
 Isaac calling one day upon his friend Sir Busick, to 
 
54 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 M. Yes, it was clever enough on my part to 
 be sure, not to distinguish one side of the street 
 from the other — not to know my right hand from 
 my left. A d— d Johnian gyp, seeing I was a 
 Trinity-Man disarmed, as it were, says, as I was 
 persisting in my right to a night’s lodging, and 
 argufying Sir Isaac out of his to his own 
 freehold, “ I see, what o'clock it is with you, 
 Master Bull,” # says he. Says I, " Its just 
 striking one,” and whilst yet speaking, floored the 
 Porker. 
 
 P. Hah, hah, hah. Sir Isaac brought you 
 before the authorities, did'nt he? 
 
 M. Yes, the old Quack represented me as a 
 madman, and then, to bring me to reason, advised 
 the salutary remedy of an Imposition . But instead 
 of getting it up, I have ever since amused myself 
 with perforating his chimney-pots. 
 
 P. What, with your air-gun ? 
 
 M. Even so. They look for all the world 
 like so many pepper-boxes. 
 
 inquire after his health, on shaking him by the fist, said, 
 “ Sir be you sick?” to which Sir B. replied, “ Sir I sick! 
 I never was better in my life.” 
 
 * Trinity Men, it has been before noted, are usually 
 denominated Bull-dogs. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 55 
 
 P. Yes, Sir, no doubt you have peppered 
 them bountifully. But have you been up to your 
 gingerbread tricks of late ? 
 
 M. Why, wishing to wet my muzzle every 
 now and then, just to keep it dust- tight, you 
 know, I prevailed upon coachee the other day, to 
 take a social button or two to warm his mouth- 
 piece for him. So coachee, being a young bird, 
 and not having experienced my condescensions at 
 any time antecedent to this period, fell a munch- 
 ing as fast as his masticating machinery could 
 wag. The agreeable consequence of this was, that 
 coachee was under the necessity of dismounting 
 his dickey at every “ Public” on the road, and I, 
 to keep him in humour, of taking a glass of max 
 with him. 
 
 P. Hah, hah, hah. A devilish good joke, 
 pon honour. But what said your fellow passengers 
 to all this ? 
 
 M. Hush, hush, don’t laugh so. Why they 
 gave coachee the character of a very naughty dis- 
 sipated fellow ; and one of them, in particular, a 
 Fellow of St. John’s, threatened to complain of 
 his conduct to his employers. But coachee disre- 
 garded this broad insinuation, and a little beyond 
 Saffron Walden, happening to overtake a drove of 
 
56 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 pigs, exclaimed, with his fingers at the brim of 
 his pot-lid, to the Johnian aforesaid, “ Going up 
 to keep term, Sir ; going up to keep term, Sir/’ 
 P. That’s rich ! hah, hah, hah. Speak 
 lower. St.* Brown ’s beginning to peer with his 
 peepers, and ’s on the look out for Newby. 
 
 After a slight pause, another story was started. 
 P. Riding to the Gogmagogs-f- to-day I fell 
 foul of old Simeon. The gay old cushion-thumper 
 was amusing himself with leaping over the ditches. 
 He ? s as good a horseman as a preacher, and that’s 
 saying much for his jockeyship ; for much as he’s 
 sneered at for his works of supererogation — for his 
 evangelization, he’s the most powerful expositor 
 and advocate I have ever heard. But, as I was 
 saying, he was leaping, and making his servant 
 follow him. One, however, which he took, the 
 servant dared not attempt, at which the fine old 
 fellow roared out, “ You cowardly dog, why don’t 
 
 * There were two Fellows of the College of this name, 
 who, to save words when speaking of them, were distin- 
 guished by the titles of Saint and Sinner . 
 
 f The only hills in the county of Cambridge are two, 
 and being quite gigantic, compared with the mole-hills 
 around them, are termed Gog and Magog. Lord Osborn 
 has a mansion upon one of them. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 57 
 
 you follow ?” This scene took place in the 
 u Senior Wranglers** Walk/’* even at the time 
 when it was crowded by Simeonites. 
 
 M. I don’t believe Simeon himself is half the 
 hypocrite that nine out of ten of his proselytes are. 
 
 P. All his actions — his liberal and high- 
 minded generosity to his reduced brother the 
 baronet — his benefactions, public and private, of 
 every kind, most nobly illustrate the doctrines 
 which he promulgates. His words and deeds 
 harmonise well together, and on this account, if 
 ever I go to church (and I go oftener than you 
 think for, Tommy), I go to Simeon’s., 
 
 M. It’s such a d — d humbug system alto- 
 gether, that, whether or no Simeon be sincere, I’ll 
 not mix myself up with them. I’ll not be an 
 ingredient u in the rank compound of villainous 
 smell,” let you preach him up ever so eloquently. 
 
 P. Don’t be alarmed, my good man. You 
 
 « 
 
 * So called, because about two or three o’clock you 
 may see two or three dozen of cadaverous other-world 
 looking beings, yclept reading-men, stretching their 
 spindle-shanks there ; and because the Senior Wrangler- 
 ship is the honour they are all ambitious enough to be- 
 lieve within their grasp, and for which they are commit- 
 ting a slow sort of suicide. 
 
58 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 don’t flatter yourself, surely, that such a scabbed 
 sheep as you are would be admissible into their 
 flock ? 
 
 M. No, I am too honest for the hypocrites. 
 I fancy I see myself at old Simeon’s* Bitch Levee. 
 I should cut a pretty figure, with my lingo, 
 amongst these saints. 
 
 P. You would, indeed ! They would not 
 think of making a missionary of you, depend upon 
 it. If you spoke but a dozen words, you would 
 convince them, my boy Tommy, there was enough 
 to be done at home. Tommy. 
 
 M. Damme, Sir, that’s what they would, and 
 the sooner, if I gave them a description of a cer- 
 tain loose character whom I have the misfortune 
 to have come in contact with — one P. of our 
 college. 
 
 P. You’re a wag, my boy. But much as I 
 like old Simeon, the Simeonites I hate indiscrimi- 
 nately, as I do all serpents— yea, the old serpent 
 
 * On a certain day in the week, Simeon used (and pro- 
 bably the practice is continued) to give a 66 tea and turn 
 out ” to all such as chose to save the expense at home. The 
 conversation, although generally upon religious matters, 
 turned frequently upon topics of a lighter character — such 
 as the news of the day, literary discussions, &c. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 59 
 
 himself, although, doubtless, some of these reptiles 
 are perfectly innocuous. Those two hypocrites, 
 whom you see with their Greek Prayer-books, 
 that they may lose no time in prayer , killing two 
 birds with one stone , and who look as if they would 
 hand us up to the Dean for the noise we have 
 been kicking up, I chance to know full well, and 
 from them, as a sample, I judge of the whole cargo. 
 
 M. W ell, what have they done ? 
 
 P. Bitching with me one evening, they 
 won’t pollute their holy lips with stronger waters 
 than tea, mind ye — when I kept over the Queen's 
 Gate, they discovered the important fact, that the 
 snobs and snobbesses are in the habit of making 
 love in that sequestered spot, Trinity-lane, and 
 immediately under my window. Now, to put 
 down this crying sin (for such they deem “ all 
 love unknown to Pa and Ma”), they collected all 
 the slops about my rooms, and poured it ruth- 
 lessly forth upon a happy pair, who that moment, 
 were doubtless naming the wedding day. 
 
 M. Well, but what said the snob to so un- 
 gallant a wetting ? Didn’t he crack your daylights 
 for you ? 
 
 P. Both he and she were so inclined, but 
 were unable to determine whence the shower pro- 
 
60 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 ceeded. The fellow would have it it came from 
 Trinity, but the lady most pertinaciously pro- 
 tested it issued from the window opposite — of 
 Caius College— so that they declined making any 
 payment for the shower-bath they had enjoyed, 
 certainly externally, and, in all human probability, 
 also internally. 
 
 M. Well, is that all these dogs in the manger 
 have perpetrated to excite your animosity ? 
 
 P. No ; having once become acquainted with 
 these love scenes, under the pretext of doing their 
 best to keep the sexes asunder, their visits to me 
 for that purpose were so incessant, that at length 
 I was obliged to sport * them. 
 
 M. Damme, but that was cursedly unfriendly 
 of you, though. How do you think the poor 
 devils are to get wived, unless they see and learn 
 how to set about it ? 
 
 P. Let them go to Ovid’s Art of Love, and 
 he’ll tell them all about it, I warrant you. But 
 
 * To sport , is to close the outer door. At Oxford they 
 sport an oak. At Cambridge they sport every thing. “ You 
 sport a devilish fine coat, Sir.” u You sport good wine,” 
 and so on, are sayings in the mouth of every one. A Johnian 
 friend, who is with me, says, “ Cambridge is the place for 
 sport,” and I cannot help falling in wdth him. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 61 
 
 I must tell you the remainder of my Simeonitish 
 story. One dark night, you must know, when 
 they came to empty my slops for me, thereby 
 saving my “ noseless Jenny” a vast sight of dis- 
 agreeable trouble, they had made a collection suf- 
 ficient to fill the pail to the brim, when ppuring it 
 forth, the cataract was unhappily turned out of its 
 predetermined course, by breaking over the necks, 
 which were protruding from the window below, of 
 the honourable J. J., and about a dozen other 
 empty-bottles,* who were doubtless actuated by 
 the same holy zeal as my friends — the Simeonites* 
 M. Hoh, hoh, hoh, hoh — this ’ll be the death 
 of me, hoh, hoh, hoh — I cannot survive it. Hoh, 
 hoh, hoh, hoh. — “ The Dean will see you after 
 chapel, sir.” — Damn the Dean, and you too, say 
 I, P., for getting me into this scrape. 
 
 Between two Scholars , W. and T . 
 
 T . Well, W., have you yielded to the soli- 
 citations of your friend V., to become a member 
 of the wig -club ? 
 
 W. No, I should think not. As soon should 
 
 * Fellow-commoners, from their attics being constantly 
 to let unfurnished, are so denominated. 
 
62 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 I choose to be one of the Atheist* club. The 
 one ’s as contemptible as the other. 
 
 T. The president, secretary, and treasurer, 
 are all stammerers. V., on being elected secretary 
 yesterday, stuttered forth a most elaborate speech? 
 I am told, eulogizing, of course, the discrimination 
 the voters had evinced in their selection of himself 
 as one of their principal officers. 
 
 W. I should like to have heard him, I must 
 confess. Although he is a ninny, he is an origi- 
 nal. I never saw any ninny like him. Upon 
 subjects not requiring any deep thought, he can 
 converse and write as well as the best of us — aye, 
 and in the opinion of many folks, having travelled 
 and seen a good deal of the higher spheres, would 
 outshine us. He has a command of words which 
 Professors Woodhouse and Vince never possessed 
 in any degree, and can express himself, if you give 
 
 * At this time, there was a club, of Voltaire’s way of 
 thinking, headed by a semi-Frenchman, and consisting of 
 several of the leadingcharacters of the University; but when 
 they came to argufy the topic they soon discovered the 
 monstrous folly of such doctrines, and dispersed. I could 
 name a few bright characters now shining in full lustre in 
 the University and out of the University, and passing for 
 great moral and religious exemplars, who took the lead 
 in this infatuated and iniquitous assembly. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 63 
 
 him time, upon any superficial subject in the 
 most appropriate terms. 
 
 T. That may be the consequence of his im- 
 pediment. It gives him time to make a selection 
 of words and phrases. 
 
 W. No, I’d back him against either of these 
 two philosophers, even in writing upon any every- 
 day topic. 
 
 T . I knew a man of this sort, of Trinity, 
 who fagged, poor devil, night and day to get on, 
 but failed with all his efforts. He used to read, 
 upon an average, about fourteen hours a day, his 
 fond and foolish father having persuaded him that 
 if he did so he must inevitably become Senior 
 Wrangler. But, alas ! at the expiration of three 
 years he was plucked and plucked, and plucked, 
 three several times, and at last was given his 
 B. A. out of sheer compassion. Nevertheless 
 this dunce, in a drawing-room, would out-talk nine- 
 tenths of the truly great ones of the day upon 
 ordinary topics, and has become a most popular 
 preacher, in a populous town in Sussex. His 
 father, poor man, still ascribes his failure at Cam- 
 bridge, to the excessive nervousness of his son’s 
 
 * To refuse a man his B. A. is termed plucking. 
 
64 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 constitution, and to the partiality of the examiners 
 at the examinations. 
 
 W. There are many instances of the kind you 
 have just described. Many can skim the surface 
 of things who are denied the power of diving to 
 the bottom. For instance, there are H. and G., 
 &c. at our table, who in table-talk, leave B., L., 
 and others, infinitely in the distance, although the 
 latter, at the examinations, are so much above 
 the former. 
 
 T. Yes, I have often observed, during a 
 long-winded verbosity from S., upon things re- 
 quiring no vovq or gumption whatever, the most 
 ineffable contempt playing upon B.’s expressive 
 countenance. 
 
 W. One of these deeper ones, although he 
 has wit at will, yet from the delicate texture of 
 his nerves (which has been much attenuated by 
 excessive application), can never deliver himself of 
 it, without becoming as pale as ashes. This 
 change of colour is always remarked and com- 
 mented on by Mr. S., whose fish-like physiognomy 
 did never, certainly, exhibit any outward signs of 
 what was passing within him. The proverb u ne 
 nimium crede colori” does not apply to that re- 
 doubtable person, the said person having no color 
 whatever. He is a mere blank. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 65 
 
 T. You cannot alter things, my good fellow, 
 do as you will. You know, things that are most 
 empty make most noise, and the shallower a person 
 is, the more likely is he to bear off the palm, 
 from such philosophers as the worthies you have 
 named. 
 
 W. The plain fact is this : these would-be 
 great ones, feeling they have no natural right and 
 title to the estimation of mankind, like Sisyphus 
 with his stone, are constantly, though ineffectually, 
 aiming to elevate themselves ; whereas those who 
 are really great feel the “ particula aurae divinae” 
 within them, and are conscious of the distinctions 
 that await them. 
 
 T. You’ve hit it, Sir, at last. But, like 
 Dominie Sampson, we are somewhat “ oblivious,” 
 having diverged considerably from the subject first 
 on the tapis. 
 
 W. I beg your pardon, there is no divergency 
 in the case. You fell a describing V.’s inaugural 
 speech, and in a direct undeviating manner I 
 proceeded to give you my opinion of such speechi- 
 fiers in general, and to draw a line of distinction 
 between them and the “ Vir sapiens qui pauca 
 loquitur.” 
 
 T. Yes, “ verbum sat sapienti,” and as the 
 
 VOL. I. F 
 
66 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 author of Love in a Village has well translated and 
 amplified it, 
 
 “ A word to the wise 
 
 Will always suffice, 
 
 Odds-niggers go talk to your parrot, your parrot.” 
 
 But since you will revert to V n, I cannot 
 
 help agreeing with you, that originality of charac- 
 ter is quite distinct from intellectual capacity. 
 This singular being, although his father allows 
 him a very handsome expenditure, being well able 
 so to do, yet is he always over head and ears in 
 debt ; but the way in which he procrastinates 
 payment is what stamps him an original. He 
 has a way of making useful every dun that calls 
 upon him. 
 
 W. You’re right. ’Twas but yesterday, 
 whilst a few of us were wining with him, in came 
 Mordecai, that amphibious fellow, who is neither 
 a Jew nor a Christian, but a sort of “ half-and- 
 half” body, with, “ I hope its convenient now 
 for you to settle my small account for the gold 
 watch and other jewels. Sir.” — u Why (said 
 V., with a gravity becoming an archbishop), 
 Really, Mr. Mordecai, it is a-a a-ny thing but 
 s-s-easonable now to m-m-ake such a-a-pplications. 
 But I-I-I am devilish glad you’re d-drop’t in. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 67 
 
 though, for my gyp is absent, as he always is, 
 bla-bla-st him, when I most wa-wa-nt him, and 
 perhaps you will be so ki-ki-kind as to or-der at 
 Ned L-LichfiekTs a dessert for four, and ju-ju-just 
 take this note to my fr-fr-friend Mr. F., of 
 D-owning College ( about a mile and a half out of 
 the mans way this), and tell him we shall not 
 commence o-o-operations without him. Do you 
 h-h-h-ear me, Sir?” Poor Mordecai, although a 
 swell in his way, could not withstand so peremp- 
 tory a command, and forthwith began to execute 
 it ; when a group of bed-makers, gyps, and laun- 
 dresses, on the staircase, overhearing the colloquy, 
 and knowing this to be “ meat and drink ” to 
 
 V n, testified their sympathy by a great 
 
 horse-laugh, which produced from him, u You 
 damned infernal b— ches, if I had a- a- asked any 
 ci-ci-vil question of you, bu-bu-but one , you 
 wouldn’t have c-c- complied, w-w- would you ? 
 G-g-go to h-h-ell.” 
 
 1\ Hah, hah, hah. That fellow is a truly 
 droll one. He is a sort of a wise fool . But, 
 dropping that subject, were you at the concert 
 either last night or the preceding one. A friend 
 from the country kept me at home, I am grieved 
 to say. 
 
 f 2 
 
68 
 
 CHAPE Ti SCENES. 
 
 W. Why didn’t you take him with you ? I 
 went, and a high treat, each evening, we had, I assure 
 you. The chief attraction, as usual, was Miss Ste- 
 phens. She sang most melodiously and pathetically, 
 “ Auld Robin Gray/ 5 and some other of her favou- 
 rites, but what most pleased the Gownsmen, was her 
 eminently pathetic delivery of u Charlie is my 
 Darling.” So truly did she express the enthu- 
 siasm of that romantic ballad, that every one ap- 
 peared fascinated into a sort of traitorous sympathy. 
 Were the syren to warble it so enchantingly amid 
 the mountainous wilds of Caledonia, it would be 
 good-bye to loyalty. From such honied lips the 
 appeal would be irresistible. 
 
 T. I declare you are bewitched — quite 
 smitten with the lady. 
 
 W. So was the whole assemblage. The first 
 night the song was announced in the bills, and 
 encored twice. This you’ll say is no proof of the 
 effect I have been describing. But, then, on the 
 second night, without any insertion being made in 
 the bills, the audience were impatient to have it 
 again. It was again called for and twice repeated, 
 amid the most extravagant applause I ever heard. 
 I have heard her in u Cease your funning,” and 
 a hundred other beautiful pieces, in London, 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 69 
 
 Oxford, here, and elsewhere, but never felt half 
 the delight I experienced on this occasion. 
 
 T. Your ecstatics I cannot participate, not 
 having felt the impressions the damsel hath worked 
 upon you. But although I know there is a touch 
 of the enthusiastic, as to musicals, in your compo- 
 sition, yet can I readily believe the treat to have 
 been a very rare one. 
 
 W. It was indeed ; I envy that fellow Hum- 
 phry. He conducted the lady-bird to her seat 
 with the greatest composure, and then seating 
 himself at a very short distance from her, seemed 
 to catch each note the moment it was warbled. H. 
 is intimate with Br. Hague, and thus at the con- 
 certs is introduced to all the great vocalists and 
 instrumentalists who happen to come down to 
 them. 
 
 T. Did Lindley play a concerto on the 
 violoncello as usual ? Was his instrument in 
 tune after the shock it received ? 
 
 W. Both fingers and fiddle were in as perfect 
 tune as I ever heard them, and produced a 
 most wonderful display of harmonics , in varying 
 that playful and lively air, “ What care I for 
 Mam or Dad.” But, what about the shaking of 
 the viol ? 
 
70 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 T. Why, you must know, the Tally-Ho, in 
 which Lindley and ever so many more of them 
 trundled down to us, upset on the Trumpington- 
 road, close by the third mile-stone. Without 
 receiving any serious and lasting injury, all were 
 greatly discomposed, one lacerating his little finger, 
 another his proboscis, and so on, save and except 
 Lindley, whose only fright being for his matchless 
 Cremona, fell a scraping it squat on the mile-stone ; 
 when a humane old lady, lifting up her voice 
 from within, where ladies and gentlemen were 
 rolling about in promiscuous disorder, exclaimed, 
 “ Oh, never mind us within, but assist the poor 
 gentleman who is groaning so piteously without.” 
 W. Hoh, hoh, hoh — that's too good to be 
 true — hoh, hoh, hoh. — “ The Dean wishes to 
 speak to you after chapel, Mr. W.” said Newby. 
 
 Between two Bachelors of Arts , M y and W. 
 
 W. M y, I congratulate you on getting 
 
 through your degree so well. Had you fagged 
 like some men, you would easily have got a 
 Wranglership. But as it is, you are above the 
 Apostles considerably. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 71 
 
 M. Why, but for your timely assistance, I 
 believe I should have been St. Paul, to say the 
 least of it. I never half-liked these same mathe- 
 matics, and C£ for why,” as Professor Farish has 
 it ? I had no natural relish for the labour they 
 require to get into them. Were you at the 
 Mill in Christ’s piece last night ? I gave a snob 
 it in a style which he wont seek a second time, I 
 think. I served him out, Sir. 
 
 IV. Its fine fun, truly, to be battering these 
 horny-hided fellows. I cannot discover, for my 
 
 part, what pleasure, you, F r, G y, and 
 
 a few more, can derive from this milling system, 
 as you call it. It would, surely, be more amusing, 
 as well as less painful, to be hammering on with 
 the Greeks and the Romans, or even with Euclid, 
 or Newton, and it would certainly be more per- 
 manently glorious. 
 
 M. You've no taste for the sport, because you 
 have no mettle, my lad — I mean no weight of 
 mettle. A regular bargee would smash such a 
 light-fingered , lady-handed Lilliputian as you, 
 at a blow. You, therefore, wisely disapprove of 
 these scenes altogether. 
 
 W. No; there have been some encounters 
 
72 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 which all must applaud. For instance, some 
 bargemen, a little time since, were insulting most 
 grossly, and without any provocation, two light- 
 timbered gownsmen, who were boating opposite 
 
 Queen’s Gardens, when G -y, observing the 
 
 cowardly attack, offered himself as a customer, 
 and being accepted, gave them, one after the other, 
 such a threshing as they will remember to the 
 last day of their lives. 
 
 M. That was devilish noble, and masterly of 
 G y. 
 
 W. Another scene of the kind I witnessed 
 
 myself a few days back. El 1, of St. John’s, 
 
 was escorting two ladies, apparently his sisters, 
 from the country, in front of St. Mary’s, when 
 two lounging snobs insinuated, en passant , some- 
 thing derogatory to the virtue of these ladies. It 
 was a blow and no word with El — t (who 
 boxes as well as the best of you, I am told) ; for, 
 letting go the ladies, he floored the rascals right 
 and left, and would have demolished them but for 
 the interference of the icar l^oxnv M. A. ma- 
 gistrate. The whole battle, which took place in 
 the broad face of day, was over in five minutes, 
 so lustily did he lay it into them. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 73 
 
 M. He is a real good one, is that El — — t. 
 
 He was, perhaps next to G -y, the greatest 
 
 hero at the memorable battle of Pease Hill.* 
 
 * On the acquittal of queen Caroline, the snobs, taking 
 her part, would illuminate, and otherwise rejoice, but 
 the gownsmen, like another Opposition, being deter- 
 mined to oppose, right or wrong, mustered in the market- 
 place, in strength about 500. Their first exploits were 
 certainly not over-glorious. The coaches from London, 
 and passengers they brought with them, were stripped of 
 their laurel and other emblems of victory, one by one, as 
 they severally arrived. Then commenced a general onset 
 between the said 500, and about 2000 snobs — sometimes 
 a running skirmish through the streets — at other times an 
 assault upon such ignes fatui (as the lights were called) as 
 dared emblazon this burning shame — but the fight, which 
 terminated in the rout and entire defeat of the snobs, took 
 place on Pease Hill. This was a curious as well as fearful 
 scene. Constables by scores, and Proctors, ordinary and 
 extraordinary, now pursuing, now flying, were seen in 
 all directions. One Proctor says to G y, the com- 
 
 mander-in-chief, “ Mr. G. I insist upon your instantly 
 going to your College.”— “ Yes, Sir,” says G., and turn- 
 ing round the first corner, again joins and heads his 
 forces. This he repeats again and again. Another 
 Proctor (from excessive study no doubt), being nervous, 
 and unused to war’s alarms, runs about, pale as if he had 
 already got the death-blow he was anticipating, and is so 
 non-compos himself as to compose not a tittle the fisti- 
 
74 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 W. Were you amongst the unfortunates at 
 
 the Dean’s the other night, when V n made 
 
 such sport ? 
 
 M . Yes, I was, and although it was death to 
 V. yet the scene was so diverting to the rest of 
 the delinquents as to make them forget they were 
 in the presence of a judge about to condemn them, 
 and to laugh, one and all, in the very face of him. 
 Says Judgson, “ Mr. V., how is it you have 
 neglected chapel so much this week ?”— ec Why, 
 S-Sir (quoth this bit of simplicity), as you are 
 p-p-perhaps aw-aware a person ca-ca-nnot be in 
 t-t-wo places at one t-t-ime, you will b-b-e satis- 
 fied upon th-th-at m-m-m-atter, when I tell you 
 I w-w-was f-f-fifty miles another way, S-S-Sir.” 
 Judgson, then says, u but, Mr. V., had you an 
 Exeat permitting your absence ? I don’t recol- 
 lect having myself signed it .” — “ No-o, Sir,” 
 
 cuffing combatants. Many were the wounded, although 
 the slain amounted to no more than none. With poor 
 
 R y, of Trinity, and a few others, however, u it was 
 
 too near to be pleasant.” The exuviae on the battle-field 
 were such as are seldom taken — caps, gowns, and frag- 
 ments of the same in vast profusion — but this spoil was 
 captured, not from the conquered, but the victors 
 themselves. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 75 
 
 stammered V., beginning to see he had let the 
 cat out, “ No-n-o, Sir, I-I-I merely took a-a-a 
 dr-dr-ive up t-to Islington w-w-ith my friend, Mr. 
 
 D m, t-t-o assist him to do d-d-duty, Sir.” 
 
 To which J. forthwith replied, u I am exceedingly 
 sorry, Mr. V., that my duty now obliges me, 
 however reluctantly, to bring you before the 
 Seniority.* 
 
 W. Hah, hah, what a lapsus ! The poor 
 fellow 66 put his foot in it” cleverly, to be sure, 
 hah, hah, hah. But I cannot help thinking the 
 tragical termination of this comedy a piece of un- 
 just severity on the part of the Seniors. I called 
 upon the poor fellow as soon as they had sen- 
 tenced him to expulsion, and found him a full- 
 length upon the sofa, crying like a child, 
 
 * The eight Senior Fellows, and the Master, compose 
 what is called the Seniority. Their decisions in all matters 
 are genei'ally conclusive. I recollect one instance only, 
 when that high authority was resisted. A small insigni- 
 ficant living having been presented to a man of another 
 College, through favour, the Junior Fellows rose, en masse, 
 remonstrated, and, in short, revoked the award. The 
 government of this College is that of the country at large 
 in miniature, the Master, Seniors, and Juniors, resembling 
 in many respects the King, Lords, and Commons. This 
 accounts for the superior excellence of this institution. 
 
76 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 swearing like a trooper, and rolling and kicking 
 like a madman. “ Well, V. (says I), how have 
 they treated you ?” — u Oh, d — n, and b — t their 
 b-b-big w-w-igs, they Ve expelled m-m-me, sine 
 d-die , and b-be-be d — d t-t-to them.” Having 
 thus anathematised them, away sallied the poor 
 distressed fellow to the dandy-shop, bestrode his 
 favourite dandy-horse, and to the infinite amuse- 
 ment of boys, girls, men, and women, wheeled up 
 one street and down another, invoking all the 
 curses of the Creed, and the ills of Pandora’s box, to 
 fall upon the heads of all unjust judges what and 
 wheresoever. 
 
 M. Hoh, hoh, hoh — did you see him— hoh, 
 hoh, hoh.— The Dean will speak to you after 
 chapel, Mr. M.” 
 
 Between a Nobleman , Lord N., and M. A., his 
 Private Tutor. 
 
 M. Am I am proud to hear from the Lecturer, 
 your lordship distinguishes yourself so honourably 
 in the Greek play. 
 
 Lord N. You are pleased to flatter. Were I 
 but a commoner, and deprived of your very able 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 77 
 
 preparations, I should cut but an ignoble figure in 
 the Lecture-room, especially amongst those who 
 have had the same advantage as myself whilst at 
 Eton, or other great schools. 
 
 M. A. Then your lordship would ascribe to 
 my poor efforts the superiority your natural talents, 
 as well as the rank you hold in society, so justly 
 entitle you to P This is one of the innumerable 
 instances of your lordship's condescension and 
 greatness of mind I have had the honour to 
 experience during the short but envied happiness 
 of your lordship's friendship. 
 
 Lord N. Indeed, my dear Sir, you greatly 
 over-rate me. “ Nil humani a me alienum puto/’ 
 and although I am nobly born, I don't think 
 myself one whit the better for the blood that 
 flowed in the veins of my ancestors. I do, never- 
 theless, feel an anxiety to support the character 
 my forefathers acquired for me, and will do my 
 utmost to preserve it. 
 
 M. A. Your lordship cannot deviate from the 
 path prescribed to you for so many generations. 
 It were contrary to the laws of nature. 
 
 Lord iV. Do you observe M k — the u far- 
 thing rushlight,” M k. How dignified and 
 
 all-important the Grecian deports himself! One 
 
78 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 would swear, if there were any truth in physiog- 
 nomy — had one but an atom of the perspicacity 
 of Lavater, Gall, or Spurzheim — that Porson was 
 a fool to him. 
 
 M. A. Yes, it must be perfectly disagreeable 
 to your lordship to have the would-be-greatness of 
 that man continually before your eyes. He struts 
 with as stiff, untowardly, plebeian, and consequen- 
 tial a gait as does the veriest Turkey-cock in your 
 Poultry — your lordship will excuse the homeliness 
 of the allusion. 
 
 Lord N. k, has, somehow, the un- 
 
 happy knack of making himself universally dis- 
 liked. He’s ambitious to be thought great, without 
 possessing those outward traits of conscious great- 
 ness which are recognised by every observer, and 
 which I (perhaps ignorantly) should pronounce him 
 not coming within a hundred miles of. He wants 
 that natural ease and self-complacency which ever 
 is found in those whose consequence is indisputable. 
 
 M. A. Your lordship’s judgment is infallible, 
 spite of your years, in cases even of that nature. 
 
 Lord N. But, talking of M k, a friend 
 
 of mine, whom he had domineered over most 
 tyrannically, being, like the rest of us, not a little 
 susceptible of that amiable passion — revenge — sent 
 him last week a basket of game. 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 79 
 
 M. A . And does your lordship designate sucli 
 a present as a token of revenge ? 
 
 Lord N. Why the game was a defunct fox, 
 which, according to the laws of mortality, ought 
 to have mingled with its mother earth a full fort- 
 night prior to its being subjected to the nerves, 
 visionary and olfactory, of this high and mighty 
 
 one. M k was in full scent of Reynard for a 
 
 month afterwards. 
 
 M . A. Hah, hah, hah; your lordship is so 
 happily humorous in your drolleries, that posi- 
 tively I cannot withstand your lordship’s facetiae. 
 Hah, hah, hah. You ’re irresistible, my lord. 
 
 Lord N. Reserve your mirth, my dear Sir, 
 for something better. Stay ; as you have so little 
 control over your risibility, I will wait for what’s 
 coming until the organ strikes up the anthem. 
 
 Soon after M k ? s becoming Greek 
 
 Professor, he went up to town, and ambitious to 
 (C gobble” his Greek in the haute monde (instead 
 of the cc Greek meeting Greek,” of his unworthy 
 predecessor in the cyder-cellar), he was bent, by 
 hook or by crook, upon introducing himself to the 
 notice of the Waste end of the Toon , as a Scotch 
 friend of mine pronounces it. After visiting the 
 various exhibitions, he repaired to the Italian 
 
80 
 
 CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 Opera. Whether he fancied the Italian Opera, 
 like the Vatican, the Bodleian, or the Public 
 Library at Cambridge, a mere depository for such 
 bookworms as himself to plagiarise from, it has 
 never been determined. But his going there in 
 the habiliments of a bookworm furnishes an argu- 
 ment in favour of that hypothesis. On presenting 
 himself, however, for admittance, the door-keeper 
 presently gave a check to his swelling greatness, 
 by the words, “ In that dress, Sir, I cannot admit 
 you .” — 6€ Do you know whom you are thus pre- 
 suming to address” (quoth his mightiness)? “ I am 
 the Regius Professor of Greek .” — u I know about 
 as much of you as I do of Greek or Hebrew, and 
 care for one just as much as for the other. Stand 
 by, Sir, and don’t persist. You don’t take the 
 King’s Theatre for a tavern, do you ? We have no 
 hoots here, I warrant you.” — “ Your insolence 
 shall not pass unpunished ; you have yet to feel 
 my consequence.” — “ In London, lord love you, 
 Sir (I see you ? re a countryman), Professors are 
 three a penny, cheap as dog’s meat, Sir — Profes- 
 sors of Singing, Professors of Dancing, Professors of 
 the Flute, Professors of the Fiddle, Professors of all 
 the tongues of Babel — Professors of Fencing, Rope- 
 dancing, Vaulting— Professors of Corn-cutting, 
 
CHAPEL SCENES. 
 
 81 
 
 Cupping, and Phlebotomy ; Professors of Rat* catch- 
 ing, Professors of Bug-killing ; in a word. Professors 
 “ of all things , and some other things' 1 so that 
 you’re mistaken in your man if you think to astound 
 or terrify us in the shape of a Professor. For my 
 part, I profess to exclude the vulgar from this 
 theatre, and shall instantly go to practice by giving 
 you in charge, if you offer further molestation.” 
 M. A . Hoh, hoh, hoh, hoh, your lordship’s so 
 irresistibly comic I shall die with laughter. Hoh 
 
 hoh, poor M k, heeh, heeh, heeh , heeh. 
 
 These few sketches of chapel-humour (I have 
 witnessed a thousand such, having myself gone 
 through all the seats) it is presumed do clearly 
 demonstrate the position I set out with — the neces- 
 sity of a reform in chapel . The irksomeness of at- 
 tending service I would have removed by con- 
 forming to the practice of the country at large, — 
 having no duty but on Sundays. I would even 
 abolish those precious relics of the Romish 
 superstition — Saint-Days. The Fellows may 
 
 have their Fasts , and “Non nobis Domine ”, as 
 heretofore, and welcome, but as they profess, as 
 Protestants, to render homage to one God only, I 
 beg they will henceforth abstain from meetings 
 together in honour and adoration of the Sai?its . 
 vol. i. a 
 
82 PONTIUS PILATE, 
 
 The bore of chapel, in my time, was so sensibly 
 felt, that the Readers, # or Chaplains were afraid to 
 do the full duty. Mr. S., a very conscientious 
 man, being appointed, would read the Litany in 
 the morning, and persevered for some time, amid 
 the groans and stamping of the shivering audience. 
 But at length, finding himself cannonaded on his 
 way to and from the chapel with snow-balls, he 
 resigned the office to his predecessor, Mr. H., who 
 was deservedly a great favourite, hitting the happy 
 medium in the discharge of his functions at all 
 times. The fastest readers have always been held 
 in highest estimation. There was, and is still let’s 
 hope, a venerable white-headed M. A. at Cam- 
 bridge, whom I never knew by any other name 
 than Pontius Pilate — so called because, when chap- 
 lain of Trinity, he wagered he would beat the best 
 man in the University, giving him start as far as 
 Pontius Pilate . 
 
 Having finished this long-winded digression, 
 reader, we will resume our narrative. 
 
 * There are four Fellowships at Trinity, in value each 
 about o£100 per annum, called Conduct Fellowships , from 
 being given to such deserving characters as, either from 
 want of intellect, or health, have failed at the Fellow- 
 ship-Examinations. It is the duty of these Conduct 
 Fellows to do the Chapel Service. 
 
PANDEMONIUM. 
 
 83 
 
 “ Chapel being over,” I joined my friend the 
 Senior Soph, and breakfasted with him, in a 
 style something like that of the barons of old. 
 We had toast, muffins, crumpets, eggs, and two 
 inches^ each of butter ; ham, cold chicken, beef- 
 steaks, audit-ale, tea and coffee ; honey, mar- 
 malade, and anchovies, with all the et caeteras. 
 Thus initiated into the agreeable mysteries of a 
 college breakfast, up rose we to see the remaining 
 sights of the University. By the time breakfast 
 was over, from the interruptions incident to con- 
 versation, and the intrusions of about a dozen 
 gownsmen, they were beginning to make prepara- 
 tions for dinner in the kitchens. My guide 
 accordingly commenced the exhibitions for the day 
 by introducing me to what is termed, the Pan- 
 demonium. In passing from the Great Court, into 
 NevilleVcourt, or the Cloisters, we go through a 
 passage, called the Screens, dividing the Hall from 
 the kitchens and buttery. To the left hand, down 
 a flight of some ten or fifteen steps, are the kitchens 
 This subterraneous place, is of huge dimensions, 
 there being room for tables, dressers, sculleries, 
 
 * Every one knows that at Cambridge, they sell butte? 
 wholesale by the yard, and retail it by the inch. 
 
 o 2 
 
84 
 
 TRINITY CLOISTERS. 
 
 r - 
 
 reservoirs for live fish of all sorts, and a hundred 
 other necessaries, besides a fire place, present- 
 ing a surface equal to that of the wall of a good- 
 sized room. Cooks, sub-cooks, and scullions 
 there are in abundance, as black and greasy as so 
 many devils. In full term, every day you see at 
 the fire, spits at different distances and altitudes, 
 strung with fowls, ducks, and all sorts of roastables, 
 and yet so arranged that the gravies are each pre- 
 served unmixed. Being neither a cook nor an 
 epicure, I shall dwell no longer upon this sight, 
 than merely to recommend it as worth the atten- 
 tion of all visitors — except the Lord Mayor, and 
 Aldermen of the city of London, who alone, at 
 their civic feasts, can display such a Pandemonium . 
 
 This being visited we proceeded to the Cloisters. 
 This is an extensive and elegant square, one side 
 of which consists of the Hall and Combination 
 Room ;* another (opposite to this) of the Library, 
 a magnificent and superb structure in the Grecian 
 style, built by sir Christopher Wren; and two re- 
 
 * A sort of drawing-room, to which the Fellows, Noble-* 
 men, Fellow-commoners, and visitors, retire after dinner 
 to crack jokes, nuts, and the bottle — to read Newspapers, 
 play at cards, chess, &c. 
 
TRINITY WALKS. 
 
 85 
 
 maining ones of commodious apartments for the 
 Fellows. These latter sides of the court, as also 
 the Library, supported by a long colonnade of arches 
 and pillars, form a most agreeable as well as useful 
 promenade, in wet or otherwise disagreeable weather, 
 for the whole University. The area, being a beau- 
 tiful close-shaven grass-plot, greatly enlivens the 
 general sombreness of the Cloisters ; but a still 
 more impressive effect is given to the scene, by the 
 view, through wickered windows under the Library, 
 of the slowly-winding Cam, and the lime and 
 chesnut groves of Trinity and St. John’s. As 
 you enter these walks the scenery which unfolds to 
 your view is absolutely enchanting. On each mar- 
 gin of the river rise the most stately avenues, which 
 are skirted by lawns tastefully variegated by gravel 
 promenades, winding their way in every direction, 
 the communication between the whole being over 
 a number of light and elegant bridges, all in a 
 coup d’oeil, belonging to the several colleges. 
 In these walks are here and there a number of seats, 
 as in the “ lungs of London 1 ” — the parks ; on 
 which as you loll, the scene around you cannot 
 but suggest to the intelligent and sensitive mind, 
 that it was in these sacred retreats the “ poet’s eye, 
 in a fine phrenzy rolling, hath glanced from earth 
 
86 
 
 TRINITY WALKS. 
 
 to heaven”— that here it was that the works ©f 
 many of the mighty dead, aye, and of some of the 
 mighty living, were first excogitated. But leaving 
 these and the like reflections to those we left behind 
 us, who were one and all very clearly musing upon 
 something, or other — one Gownsman contemplating 
 a pretty nursemaid* quite as philosophically as the 
 nursling, another ogling a gudgeon in the mean- 
 dring stream, reflecting upon the probability that 
 the poor fish would be fascinated into a “ glorious 
 nibble,” and so on — we repaired to the interior of 
 the Library. 
 
 The entrance to this valuable and splendid repo- 
 
 * In my second year, a man whom I knew a little, side- 
 ling up to a pretty thing of this species, under pretence 
 of saluting the infant, by some mischance or other kissed 
 
 the maid herself, when Dr. R n, who, unfortunately for 
 
 the poor fellow, had witnessed the theft, came up, and 
 addressing him in his northern brogue, said, “ Young man 
 if you don’t to-morrow retire from this University in a 
 private manner, I shall bring you before the Seniority, who 
 will publicly expel you.” Rather than be thus excluded 
 from Oxford, he took the hint. This rigid moralist, the 
 doctor, a year or two afterwards made love to a mother 
 and daughter at the same time, both of whom he lost from 
 mis-addressing his letters to them. 
 
TRINITY LIBRARY. 
 
 87 
 
 sitory of literature and science, is through a 
 spacious vestibule, adorned with busts and ancient 
 inscriptions, and a flight of stairs composed of black 
 marble. Having passed this outer court of the 
 Temple of the Muses, you are ushered into the 
 Sanctum Sanctorum itself, a place containing trea- 
 sures as precious, I ween, as that of Solomon him- 
 self, and probably not inferior to it in shape and 
 feature. The room is in length between eighty 
 and a hundred yards, twenty wide perhaps, and 
 about ten from the floor to the ceiling. The floor, 
 which is composed of the purest black and white 
 marble, is most tastefully laid out in small 
 squares, whose diagonals form lines running from 
 one extremity to the other, somewhat resem- 
 bling the spread-out skin of a Boa- Constrictor. At 
 the farther extremity is a large window representing, 
 in stained glass of very exquisite colours, Newton, 
 Bacon, one of our defunct kings, and the goddess 
 Fame, this terraqueous globe, a lion or two, and 
 something else, which taken singly and separately 
 are passable enough, but on the whole form such a 
 group of anomalies and anachronisms as render it 
 unworthy of a more detailed description. This 
 specimen of bad taste ought to be demolished. It’s, 
 a disgrace to the cognoscenti of Trinity. In better 
 taste by far, are the busts of Newton and Bacon, 
 
88 
 
 TRINITY LIBRARY. 
 
 on each side of the window. Whether they are 
 productions of the chisel of Roubilliac or of Chan- 
 try, I don't recollect, but certain it is, they are noble 
 specimens of sculpture. 
 
 Projecting from either wall, throughout the ex- 
 tent of the building, are compartments of three 
 sides, about half as high as the ceiling, called classes 
 (class A, class B, and so on). In these are ranged 
 about thirty thousand volumes in all sorts of learn- 
 ing — one class containing Divinity, another Classics, 
 another Mathematics, another Medicine, &c. One 
 of these classes, called a lock-up class, holds many 
 highly curious and valuable MSS., such as Newton's, 
 Milton's, &c. There is another of these lock-up 
 classes which preserves an exceedingly fine portrait 
 of Shakspeare, said to be the best in existence, and 
 has also many other valuables within it. In a 
 third is to be seen a sort of museum, consisting of 
 the costumes of savage nations, their warlike im- 
 plements, musical instruments, stuffed crocodiles, 
 dried men's hands, and a pickled mummy or two, 
 with most of the et caeterasofa regular museum. This 
 is generally exhibited to strangers, Freshmen, and 
 men of other colleges, of all years, for the private 
 emolument of the sub-librarian, who (he'll thank 
 me for the hint I suppose) expects quite as often 
 as he receives. In the next class to this museum 
 
trinity library. 
 
 89 
 
 of inanimates, the first as you enter on the right, 
 stands, or did stand, a living curiosity in the shoes 
 of the aforesaid sub-librarian — a little, short-necked, 
 well-fed, short-breathing, pet-dog sort of personage. 
 66 Well, B.” (said my conductor to him), u as you 
 and your ancestors for some generations past have 
 had the care and control of this noble library, you 
 of course have formed a pretty tolerable acquaint- 
 ance with many of the authors themselves .” — “ Sir, 
 I flatter myself” (quoth the little man wheezing as 
 well as puffing) 66 there are very few of the books in 
 this place that I am not familiar with” — “ From 
 
 your opportunities B n, I can readily believe 
 
 your knowledge is prodigious ; it runs in the blood 
 of you, as it were. But my friend here, being a 
 First-Year Man , and but just arrived, as you may 
 see, may as well enter his name in your list for the 
 year.” My guide having thus introduced me, the 
 sub-librarian produced a large ledger-looking book, 
 in which are written the names and former resid- 
 ences, at full length, of all Freshmen, their fathers, 
 and schoolmasters, as also their own ages. If the 
 reader be curious after such knowledge, he or she 
 may learn my age, and other particulars, by refer- 
 ring to this same book, wherein it is stated that in 
 the month of February 1815 I was nineteen. 
 Prodigious! 
 
90 
 
 TRINITY LIBRARY. 
 
 The Classes above mentioned are adorned 
 throughout the Library with the heads of the illus- 
 trious dead, from Hesiod, Homer, &c. up to Milton, 
 Dry den, Pope, &c. &c. There are, moreover, many 
 curiosities here and there, worth the attention of 
 the observer, which I have not room to describe. 
 One of the most amusing, however, and which the 
 recently prognosticated restoration of the Pope to 
 the government of these realms cannot but make 
 interesting, is a genuine plenary Dispensation or 
 Indulgence, granted by pope Clement XII to one 
 Nathan Hickman, his family and relatives to the 
 second degree inclusively, and to twenty-five other 
 persons ; for which same wholesale devil-duping 
 document poor Nathan Hickman no doubt tipped 
 his holiness the blunt a little. Those of my read- 
 ers who are of the masculine gender, and even such 
 as, although female by birth, are male by education, 
 are here indulged with a fac-simile of this passport 
 to the Land of Promise, so cleverly forged that I 
 much doubt me whether, if presented at the gate, 
 St. Peter himself would detect the fraud, unless 
 friend Nat. indeed has already presented the real 
 one, and I don’t believe he has, seeing that by some 
 mischance or other he dropt it in Trinity-College 
 Library. 
 

 Mfri-' * ^ -S- . s 
 
92 
 
 TRINITY LIBRARY. 
 
 From this precious relic (costly it was to friend 
 Nathan — who clearly has not escaped purgatory 
 through it) — from the salvation-mongering system 
 it exhibits, many arguments may doubtless be 
 drawn by those ingenious Papists the Broughams, 
 the Cannings, &c. &c., in favour of Catholic Eman- 
 cipation. Much may hence be suggested to these 
 subtle statesmen, which trimmed out in the taking 
 finery of their eloquence, would plead powerfully 
 and effectually for bringing the “ six millions ” to 
 a level with the rest of the empire in rights and 
 privileges — religious as well as civil. I say iC re- 
 ligious ” because, much as they are enthralled by 
 political fetters, their natural liberty of thought and 
 action is much more restrained by that blind and 
 besotted superstition, which, however reluctantly 
 they 6t render to Caesar the things that are Caesars,” 
 empty their pockets into the pontifical treasury, 
 through the silly humbug of a bribe to St. Peter. 
 First, O ye Emancipators, unshackle the catholics 
 from the power of priestcraft, and they become free 
 like yourselves. What “ man can serve two 
 masters ?” Can he that regards the pope as the 
 vicegerent of Heaven, do equal homage to so 
 earthly a thing as a king of England ? Can he 
 that kisses the pope’s great toe, believing him 
 
POPEtlY. 
 
 93 
 
 vested with power to save or damn his soul, 
 approach with equal awe his King's right hand ? 
 History says no. Emancipate them, therefore, from 
 their foreign yoke, and they become effectually and 
 substantially liberated. Go to their houses : seek 
 them where they are to be found, and preach to 
 them in plain English, or Irish, the sum and sub- 
 stance of the Testaments ; at the same time evincing 
 the sincerity of your own faith by practising 
 amongst them the acts of charity and “ good-will 
 towards men/’ therein inculcated. Send a few 
 more missionaries amongst them. In a word, 
 without aiming at the odious thing called prose- 
 lytism, expound, or merely read to them the bible 
 (a book, which, although their faith is pinned upon 
 it, not one thousand of the “ six millions” have 
 ever read), and by dint of common sense, bigotted 
 as they are, they will see that popery and the reli- 
 gion of Christ are two distinct doctrines, that the 
 former is the latter converted into a marketable 
 commodity of no real value, they themselves being 
 purchasers. Civilise them, by convincing them 
 they have the faculty of reason like yourselves 
 (although I cannot much compliment you on any 
 direct display you made of it during the last session 
 in the discussion of this oft-reiterated question), 
 
94 
 
 FIFTH COURT. 
 
 and shew by benevolent words and deeds, like the 
 great and good Bishop Berkeley, that you really 
 have a fellow feeling for them. This is the road 
 to Emancipation. 
 
 This digression being finished, proceed we to 
 what in my time was called u the Fourth Court.” 
 There having been a new square or court re- 
 cently built, probably now it is termed the “ Fifth 
 Court.” After the Great Court and Neville’s 
 Court, I saw nothing to admire in this Court. It 
 commands a view of the Cam, with the walks of 
 Trinity and St. J ohn’s, which is agreeable enough. 
 But if you would have any thing like a description 
 of this part of the college, you must apply to the 
 sub-librarian Betson, who can describe, moreover 
 to you, a very wonderful discovery he once made 
 there. 
 
 We next went to the Bishop’s Hostel, which is 
 a small court, consisting of about a dozen sets of 
 apartments, and two Lecture Rooms. This I 
 believe is the most ancient part of the college. 
 
 Quitting this, my guide conducted me to the 
 Combination Room. This is a spacious elegant 
 room fitted up with considerable taste and magni- 
 ficence, so as to suit the reception of the Noble- 
 men, Fellows, and distinguished visitors ** after 
 
TRINITY-HALL, AND CLARE-HALL. 95 
 
 Hall.” Hither they repair each day after dinner 
 iC to wine.” 
 
 Thus being ended the survey of Trinity, we pro- 
 ceeded to investigate such other wonders as were to 
 be found in the other colleges, and passing through 
 the Queen’s Gate, in the first place, we passed by the 
 Law College, Trinity Hall, without even honour- 
 ing its two small squares or courts with our pre- 
 sence. Clare Hall next presented itself. The 
 exterior of this beautiful little college, together with 
 its situation on the margin of the Cam, produce a 
 striking effect. It consists of one large square, 
 built of stone, and according to the rules of Grecian 
 architecture. The chapel of this college is a beau- 
 tiful little structure, over the ante-chapel of which 
 is a very elegant cupola. The Combination Room 
 is also an elegant apartment. This college is so 
 unique and pretty throughout— so retired from the 
 din of the streets, and surrounded with so much 
 magnificence, — the Senate House, King’s-college 
 Chapel, and the Public Library, &c. being within 
 a stone’s throw of it, that I could almost have ex- 
 changed Trinity for it. At least such were my 
 Freshman-like feelings — not having yet ascertained 
 the immeasurable superiority of the former in 
 point of society, lectures, &c. 
 
96 king's college chapel. 
 
 King’s- college Chapel, or as it is oft termed, from 
 its being the grandest and loftiest structure in the 
 University, the Freshman’s Landmark, we next 
 reached. This magnificent temple is one of the 
 wonders of the world. It is said by travellers in 
 many respects, to have no parallel. From guess 
 I should think it full one hundred yards in length 
 and, perhaps, sixty or seventy in height. It is 
 decorated with four pinnacles, resembling, “ si magna 
 componere parvis,” so many gigantic pepper-boxes. 
 The interior is truly grand — nay, sublime. Every 
 part of the walls is adorned with some exquisite 
 piece of sculpture, and the screen dividing the 
 ante-chapel from the Sanctum Sanctorum, or organ- 
 loft, is composed of oak, very curiously carved, 
 some of the figures, especially a man’s arm on the 
 right exhibiting the muscles, being held, by con- 
 noisseurs, in the perfection of the art. The windows, 
 which are many and vast, extending nearly from 
 the top to the bottom of the walls, exhibit, in 
 stained glass, the principal of the characters men- 
 tioned in the Old and New Testaments. These 
 representations are executed in the truly “ human 
 form divine,” many of them being deemed equal to 
 the portraits by the greatest painters, and in such 
 splendid vivid colours as have never been surpassed 
 
king’s college chapel. 97 
 
 nor perhaps equalled — not even by the specimens 
 in York Cathedral. The chapel, where sit the 
 chaplain, the choristers, &c., is richly decorated 
 in the cathedral style with stalls variously composed 
 of carved oak, a black and white marble pavement* 
 and an altar-piece, by one of the first old 
 masters. The organ, which is one of the best and 
 largest in the kingdom (being, like that at Trinity 
 one of the three built by a celebrated foreigner), 
 in such a vast pile, appears light and elegantly 
 diminutive. But its tones are heard with such 
 effect, the walls and roof reverberating them in 
 the enchanting echoes, that the visitor speedily 
 attaches to it the importance it merits. The 
 greatest wonder of the chapel, however, is its 
 inner roof. This roof is supported not even by a 
 single pillar, although throughout its whole extent, 
 it is composed of ponderous masses of stone. The 
 key- stones, which are cut into the semblance of a 
 rose, are said, each to weigh a ton. In Lincoln 
 Cathedral, they shew you, as a great curiosity, the 
 Chapter House, which is supported by one pillar 
 only. But here, you have a roof of great extent, 
 laterally, as well as longitudinally, resting, to all 
 appearance, upon nothing but the walls, and 
 hanging together like one solid mass, cut out of 
 
 VOL. I. H 
 
98 king’s college chapel. 
 
 the same block of stone. It is, in fact, supported 
 on the principle of arches and groining, the lateral 
 stress being balanced by immense buttresses. Equal 
 to this roof, there is nothing in Britain, nor 
 perhaps in the whole world. In Windsor Abbey, 
 and in Henry the Seventh’s chapel in Westminster 
 Abbey, they shew you one constructed on the same 
 principle; but these are merely miniatures of it. 
 Several architects of these days, are said to 
 confess themselves unable to produce such another. 
 Sir Christopher Wren said, he should, perhaps, 
 be able, were he instructed where to lay the first 
 stone. There is another roof over this, covered 
 with lead, from which you may see on a clear day 
 the Cathedrals of Ely and Peterborough. At this 
 chapel there is cathedral service every day, at 
 three o’clock ; to hear the chanting and anthem of 
 which, many gownsmen and others attend, prome- 
 nading the spacious ante-chapel. On Sundays, 
 like the chapel at Trinity, we have also a pretty 
 sprinkling of the lady-snobbesses, who go likewise, 
 (emphatically be it understood), to see, and be seen. 
 
 Leaving the chapel of King’s we viewed the 
 building in which reside the Fellows. It is a 
 stately pile of stone with a lofty arch through the 
 middle, to save the trouble of going round it, 
 
king’s college. 
 
 99 
 
 somewhat on the same scale, as far as it goes, with 
 Somerset House, or rather like, in toto , the buildings 
 at Magdalen College, Oxford. In front, on the 
 west, is a lawn of three or four acres in superficies, 
 leading to the Cam, over which there is a bridge, 
 not much to be admired for architecture or position — 
 which is the more to be wondered at, because 
 Simeon, who undoubtedly evinces taste in sermoniz- 
 ing and many other things, as a senior of the 
 college, was the chief adviser. The right hand side 
 of this lawn is skirted by one of the sides of Clare 
 Hall. c< I could a tale unfold,” in which the 
 occupants of this wing of Clare, and the famous 
 Dr. Glynn, who used to promenade the walk in 
 front, would be dramatis personae — but I won’t — 
 not because the anecdote bears against the moral 
 character of the doctor, but that it is unfit for these 
 pages. Many other things I omit, for the same 
 reason ; being determined that none of the most 
 squeamish shall find any reasonable fault with them. 
 
 On the eastern front, is another lawn, or grass- 
 plot of smaller dimensions, in the form of a square, 
 on one side of which stands the chapel above 
 described, and in front is the Provost’s Lodge. 
 This latter will soon be removed to make way for 
 a magnificent structure fronting the street, the 
 h 2 
 
100 
 
 CATHERINE HALL. 
 
 plan of which is this year exhibited at Somerset 
 House. 
 
 The Old Buildings, where reside the students, 
 consist of a very ancient tumble-down piece of 
 ruins, adorned by many curious specimens of the 
 taste of our gothic ancestors. The water-spouts 
 more especially attract the notice of the observer, 
 being variously decorated with the heads of all 
 sorts of monsters, vomiting forth the water as 
 though it were the operation of a strong emetic. 
 In this square, I believe, are situated the Hall, 
 Combination-room, and Lecture-room ; but I won’t 
 speak positively, never having had the curiosity to 
 ascertain the exact geography of them. 
 
 Having thus paraded King’s College, passing 
 through the Back, or South gate, after taking a 
 single peep at the One Court of Catherine-hall, 
 we soon fell upon Queen’s College, which, like 
 Magdalene, St. John’s, Trinity, Trinity-hall, 
 Clare, and King’s, is enlivened by the presence 
 of the Cam. It consists of two squares or courts, as 
 they are termed at Cambridge, and Quads or 
 quadrangles, at Oxford. The first that you enter 
 from the street is the larger, built of brick, with 
 nothing either admirable or curious, save and 
 except a huge south sun-dial, and the general 
 
queen’s college. 
 
 101 
 
 antique dinginess of it. Through the screens 
 parting the hall from the kitchens, as at Trinity, 
 you pass into a very small court, round which are 
 cloisters of considerable antiquity, being rude in 
 structure throughout, but not so deeply antique, as 
 to have ever been the residence of the giants who 
 once peopled the earth. Cams Wilson would find 
 more difficulty in traversing these cloisters, than 
 the streets of London, where you now see him 
 skulking to avoid breaking the lamps, and then 
 anon evading a concussion with the shop- shades. 
 Proceeding onwards through an archway, you get 
 to a bridge over the Cam, of very singular con- 
 struction. It consists of a single arch of wood- 
 work, and so framed that, without a single nail to 
 bind the pieces together, it is firmly supported. 
 It could be taken to" pieces and put up again, 
 in a very short time, and at a trifling expense. 
 If I mistake not, this curiosity was erected at the 
 instance, and under the direction, of the famous 
 Dean Milner, then President of the college. 
 
 On the opposite side of the Cam, are situated 
 the Fellows’ Gardens, which afford them a pleasant 
 promenade. 
 
 There is also an excellent"’ bowling-green for 
 the diversion of the Fellows of this college. 
 
102 PEMBROKE HALL. 
 
 My guide, on quitting this college, acquainted 
 me with the important fact that it is the strong- 
 hold of Simeonitism ; and thence escaping through 
 the large queer old tower in front, led me up 
 Silver-street, quitting the site of the Cam, to show 
 off those colleges which adorn the principal streets. 
 We soon reached Pembroke Hall, which displays 
 an extensive front in Trumpington Street. This 
 small college consists of two courts, one leading 
 into the other through the screens dividing the 
 hall from the kitchens and butteries. Its chapel, 
 hall, &c. are pretty enough, but compared with 
 those of Trinity, are not objects to be dwelt upon. 
 They here show you one curiosity, in the shape of 
 the largest globe that has ever been created by 
 man. Its dimensions are vast, and the delinea- 
 tions on its surface, I believe, pretty much re- 
 semble the features of our Mother Earth. But as 
 I cannot attempt a full description here, I must 
 refer you to the thing itself. It is well worth the 
 trouble, especially to such as profess “ reading, 
 writing, and the use of the globes.” Dr. Long 
 was the projector of it. 
 
 From Pembroke, we cross the street to Peter- 
 house, the most ancient college in the whole 
 University. The coup dceil at the entrance is 
 
st. peter's college. 
 
 103 
 
 pleasing enough, the buildings in general, and par- 
 ticularly the chapel, being rather tastefully arranged 
 than otherwise, and in pretty good style as to 
 architecture. In this college, besides its gaudily 
 gilded chapel (which, by the way, is in bad taste), 
 and the rooms once occupied by the poet Gray, 
 there is nothing to arrest attention. After having 
 pointed out to me a large iron spike projecting 
 from below the window of this poet’s garret, my 
 friend related, on our way to Downing College, 
 the following anecdote of him and his fellow- 
 students. 66 From his proximity to the celestial 
 canopy, whence he drew his inspirations, we may 
 suppose, the good bard rightly divined that, in the 
 event of the college taking fire suddenly, he should 
 be necessitated to make a hasty and lengthy 
 descent to the letfel of other men, by a route dif- 
 fering in its rectilinear course from that of the 
 ordinary and devious stair-case. Gifted with this 
 piece of foresight, he inserted, or caused to be in- 
 serted, the aforesaid piece of iron, that in the 
 event of the aforesaid calamity, he might attach 
 thereunto a piece of hemp, and thus drop down at 
 his leisure. His brother collegians perceiving his 
 wise precautions, and wishing to convince him, be- 
 forehand, of the practicability of his theory, assem- 
 
104 
 
 GRAY THE POET. 
 
 bled at a late hour in the night, rolled away an 
 immense mash-tub from the brewery, and filling 
 it to the brim with water, or other wetables, roared 
 out “ fire ! fire !'* Immediately peered out the 
 affrighted poet, and slipping down the rope, in 
 the usual undress of bathers, received such a 
 glorious ducking, as soon convinced him it was 
 “ water ! water !” The bard not choosing thus 
 to be made “ ducks and drakes” of, remonstrated 
 with the master, and then with the seniors, but 
 not being able to redress his wrongs for laughter, 
 poor Gray quitted the college in disgust, and 
 transported himself to Pembroke Hall.” 
 
 By the time this true story was brought to a 
 finish, we had reached Downing, which being then 
 in a very imperfect state, only one side of the 
 present square being erected, presented but little 
 beside the sepulchre of the Physician of facetious 
 memory, Sir Busick Harwood. Much was told 
 me in journeying hence to Emanuel College, 
 about this celebrated character — that both himself 
 and his lady were so much addicted to the luxury 
 of a pipe, that they used to perform a duet upon 
 that wind instrument, daily and nightly in bed, 
 &c. &c. &c. 
 
 But passing by ParkePs Piece, a sort of common 
 
EMMANUEL COLLEGE. 
 
 105 
 
 belonging to the corporation, sacred to the gym- 
 nastic games — such as cricket — of both Gowns- 
 men and Townsmen, we soon reached Emmanuel. 
 It presents a handsome Grecian front to St. 
 AndrewVstreet (I think it is), and the interior is 
 sufficiently magnificent for a college consisting of 
 but one court, and two or three fragments, or 
 wings, of incipient ones. The Emmanuel-men 
 pride themselves upon their chapel, and with some 
 reason. They also boast of having the best clois- 
 ters for rainy weather next to Trinity. The 
 chapel clerk shows you, in a corner of the ante- 
 chapel, behind the door, the skeleton of a Gowns- 
 man (in terrorem, I suppose), who being jealous 
 of a rival student in love, secreted himself on the 
 very spot, and like another Bellingham, shot his 
 victim, on his entering the chapel. He was tried, 
 executed, and anatomised. This is the only 
 curiosity I ever saw at Emmanuel, besides one or 
 two living ones, whom I could name, of the 
 eccentric family. 
 
 In the same street, we found Christ’s College, 
 which also presented a goodly gothic front, and is 
 well enough built in the interior of its single 
 court, to screen it from contempt. The gardens 
 of this college are the most extensive and beautiful 
 
106 Christ’s college, Sydney college. 
 
 in the University. They feel unbounded pride 
 here, in showing you the identical mulberry-tree 
 which Milton engrafted with his own hands. It 
 is a wide-spreading sort of stationary creature, 
 branching out into as many arms as ever had 
 Briareus, and is such an overgrown bulky being 
 as to need all sorts of props and crutches. But 
 I want to know how it is that the mulberry-tree 
 should have been such a favorite with our great 
 poets. It is an odd coincidence, that the two 
 greatest of our poets, should have each patronized 
 it. Perhaps you will say the one imitated the 
 other. Be it so. 
 
 Continuing the same route, we next presented 
 ourselves before Sydney Sussex College. This also 
 faces the street, but not with the same effect, its 
 front being brick. It consists of two courts spacious 
 enough to accommodate a good number of students. 
 But at this time, from its having a little before 
 been set fire to by one of them (as it was sup- 
 posed), who was capitally indicted thereupon, 
 the college had lost its reputation, and with that, 
 its sons. 
 
 Hence we proceeded down to Magdalene, at 
 the Bridge, and after having seen the Pepysian 
 Library, the great, though solitary, curiosity of 
 
st. John’s college. 
 
 107 
 
 the place, inasmuch as it contains many other 
 valuable MSS. than the one Lord Braybrooke has 
 recently brought to light ; we turned round once 
 more to the neighbourhood of Trinity, and passing 
 through three handsome, although brick-work, 
 courts of its neighbour, St. John’s (which, how- 
 ever, presented nothing long to arrest our progress), 
 we crossed the Cam, traversed the beautiful walks 
 of that college, insinuated thence into the still 
 more enchanting promenades of Trinity, and again 
 crossing the Cam, over the Cycloidal Bridge, we 
 presently found ourselves recreating on the sofa in 
 my friend’s rooms in the Cloisters. 
 
 Much as the mind had been refreshed through- 
 out this day’s excursion, the body had received 
 no aliment, not even from Milton’s mulberries, 
 and we, or at least my friend, betook himself to 
 making a suitable repast for the latter. He be- 
 thought himself, very suddenly, to my apprehen- 
 sion, that although the tables in Hall had long 
 since been cleared, he could yet get something 
 comfortable, in the shape of 66 Sizings,” from the 
 kitchens and buttery. His gyp was therefore 
 directed to take two scraps of paper with the word 
 thereon written “ Sizings,” but with two different 
 signatures, the one being his own, and the other 
 
108 
 
 JESUS COLLEGE. 
 
 a forged one of a friend of his, with whom he 
 could take such a liberty ; thereby providing us 
 with an excellent dinner, and at the same time 
 delicately avoiding all use of my name, which I 
 soon afterwards found would have been equally 
 productive. The gyp and the bed-maker being 
 in good pay, and having abundance of perquisites 
 from every treat like this, vied with each other in 
 producing it, and we soon sat down to feast upon 
 the dainties to be supplied “ After Hall.” After 
 which, the gyp was dispatched for a “ dessert for 
 two,” fit for half a dozen in ordinary life, to Ned 
 Lichfield’s, who forthwith supplied us with stimu- 
 lus to swallow three bottles, which had the effect 
 of putting me under the table, although the more 
 seasoned cask remained perfectly in statu quo — at 
 least, as far as I could perceive. The next day I 
 could do nothing. I was too ill from the fatigue 
 and refreshment of the day preceding, to be able 
 to do any thing further. I therefore deferred the 
 
 honour of Mr. >’s completing his politeness to 
 
 the day following. That day having arrived, 
 away went we from KingVstreet, where I had the 
 honour of his company to breakfast, to see the re- 
 maining wonders of the University. We first 
 visited Jesus, which is directly opposite to the 
 
ben’et college. 
 
 103 
 
 quarters I then occupied. In this college I found 
 nothing particular, excepting (as I afterwards 
 ascertained) that it somewhat resembles Trinity 
 and some other colleges at Oxford, in having a 
 sort of a steeple belonging to it. One part of it, 
 viz. the chapel, looks very much like a church. 
 This is the only distinguishing feature of Jesus 
 College. 
 
 From Jesus we went in a circumbendibus to 
 Ben’et or Corpus Christi College, which, although 
 then a very so-so sort of a place, has lately claimed 
 a pre-eminence in the University from its new build- 
 ings. It’s now a very fine place, I have no doubt; 
 but it will be some time before it is equally dis- 
 tinguished for intellectual productions. This col- 
 lege is famous for its ale, and for nothing else. 
 
 Hence proceeding, we presently discovered the 
 Botanic Garden. Next to the Royal Gardens at 
 Kew, it would appear this at Cambridge is deemed 
 the most extensive and valuable. Innumerable 
 are the rare exotics which are here fostered, both 
 inside and outside the spacious green-houses. 
 Great entertainment may here be afforded to the 
 devotees of Pomona, of Flora, and of the other 
 presiding deities, but for my part, despite the rap- 
 turous enthusiasm of Sir James Smith, and other 
 
110 
 
 BOTANIC GARDEN. 
 
 Botanical philosophers, I saw nothing that I could 
 dwell upon with half the satisfaction to be derived 
 from the produce of a potatoe garden. You ’ll 
 never detect me gathering simples. After in- 
 specting the lecture-rooms for the Professors of 
 Mineralogy, of Experimental Philosophy, &c., 
 which are situated in these gardens, we repaired to 
 that part of the University where are congregated 
 the public buildings. On arriving in front of St. 
 Mary’s, the University church, the coup d’ceil 
 which presents itself is imposingly grand. Oxford 
 is rightly denominated cc a City of Palaces.” But 
 from no quarter of that beautiful and magnificent 
 place can you view so superb a group as are here 
 formed by the Senate-house on the right, the 
 Public Library and Schools in front, Clare-hall in 
 the distance, and King’s College Chapel on the left. 
 
 The Senate- house is a spacious modern struc- 
 ture, built of stone, in the chastest Corinthian 
 style of architecture. The interior presents no- 
 thing wonderful, but is well adapted for the recep- 
 tion and display of large assemblies of the gowns- 
 men. All business affecting the interests of the 
 University at large is here transacted ; such as the 
 yearly-triennial examinations for the degree of 
 B, A. ; the passing of other degrees and honours ; 
 
SENATE HOUSE. 
 
 Ill 
 
 the passing of Graces, or University Laws, &c. &c. 
 The concerts and other public amusements are 
 also here conducted. The lower part, or arena, is 
 appropriated to the M. A. and higher orders of 
 the University, on these occasions, the students 
 or under-graduates being obliged to look down upon 
 them from a spacious gallery. So ticklish are 
 the higher ranks here, as to their consequence, that 
 if a simple Freshman perchance slip in amongst 
 them, he is ejected almost as unceremoniously as 
 though he had stolen into a seraglio. In this 
 place are several statues of kings and other great 
 men, but none deserving particular notice except 
 that of Pitt, which is considered a master-piece. 
 
 The Public Library was the next object of at- 
 traction. It is a roomy piece of antiquity, some- 
 what modernised in front, but, nevertheless, unlike 
 most “ old friends with new faces,” the longer 
 you know it the more you like it. You ascend by 
 a flight of winding-stairs, through a vestibule 
 adorned with many valuable specimens of ancient 
 sculpture, and other curiosities — not the least of 
 which is an excellent full length portrait of the 
 celebrated Maps, # carrying in his lap a load of 
 
 * Two generations ago there lived in Cambridge a man 
 named Nicholson, who to “ turn a penny,” commenced 
 
112 
 
 PUBLIC LIBRARY. 
 
 books to the rooms of some student. On entering 
 the interior, you are lost in a labyrinth of learning. 
 Tomes upon tomes, many stories high, surround 
 you on every side, throughout the whole circuit of 
 the spacious quadrangular depository. Affixed to 
 the classes, which stand out from the walls, as in 
 Trinity Library, are many curiosities, more or 
 less connected with literature, such as illuminated 
 MSS., specimens of other ancient writings, of 
 the Literature of Eastern Nations, &c. &c. In 
 another part are mummies, specimens of writing 
 with a style upon papyrus, &c. &c. In a word, 
 
 the career of gain, by the hawking of maps — of Ancient 
 Greece and Rome, I suppose. From his civility, and the 
 quality of his wares, and the eccentricities of the wag, 
 more probably, he speedily got into request, and thence 
 into a circulating library. By degrees, as his means in- 
 creased, his library was enriched with the most rare and 
 valuable works in every department of literature and 
 science, so much so, as to elicit a subscription by the Term 
 from nearly every student in the University. This extra- 
 ordinary character used to carry about the books himself, 
 knocking at each student’s door as he reached it, and 
 crying out, “ Maps, Sir.” Whence the nick-name. His 
 son and grandson kept up the concern till within a year or 
 two. I have often heard them addressed with “ Maps,’ ? 
 why don't you send me the Jesuit’s Newton 
 
CAIUS COLLEGE. 
 
 113 
 
 if you are bookish or curious, this is the place, 
 of all others, to afford you endless entertainment. 
 
 Descending from the Public Library, we visited 
 the ground-floor of it, forming a square, and con- 
 sisting of the public schools for Philosophy, Divi- 
 nity, Law, and also a lecture-room for Experi- 
 mental Philosophy. In each of the schools are 
 two rostrums, opposite one another, for the dis- 
 putants to ascend, from which they argue for and 
 against some given question. But more of this 
 anon. 
 
 Quitting this spot, my obliging conductor was 
 presently passing me through the gate of Caius 
 (pronounced Key's) College, which is within ten 
 or eleven yards of the Senate-house, when he sud- 
 denly bethought him, it would the more u redound 
 to the credit of his understanding," if he intro- 
 duced me in the manner in which Caius men 
 themselves enter college. Accordingly, I was led 
 up Senate-house-passage, into Trinity-street, and 
 thence proceeded, first through the “ Gate of 
 Humility," then through the “ Gate of Virtue," 
 and lastly through the “ Gate of Honour,’ ’ which, 
 as I before said, is the way to the Senate-house. 
 Hugging himself affectionately at this display of 
 shewmanship, my guide took me the nearest cut 
 
 VOL. I. I 
 
114 
 
 STUDY. 
 
 to Trinity, through the two courts and sculleries of 
 Caius into Trinity-lane, and thence through the 
 Queen’s-gate into the Great Court. The dinner- 
 bell now tingling through the University, I 
 stepped to his rooms, adonized a little, and then, for 
 the second time, joined the convivial board of 
 Trinity. 
 
 After dinner, I had the honour of wining with 
 no less a personage than a Fellow of the college, 
 to whom I had been introduced, by letter, by 
 
 Colonel K g, of Lincoln. . His wine and 
 
 dessert were excellent, but as he could not stoop 
 to any thing like familiar conversation, I did not 
 much sit at my ease. Mr. P. was, however, upon 
 the whole, very polite, and kindly tendered his 
 advice as to a beneficial course of reading — told 
 me how to conduct myself at lectures — what society 
 to cultivate — what to avoid — and, in short, pointed 
 out the way to acquire the good things attainable 
 in the University. From a natural dislike to ad- 
 vice, or some other undefinable feeling, I was happy 
 to escape from the condescensions of this very 
 worthy Senior, and accordingly, so soon as he gave 
 over pressing me to stay, I gave him the slip, 
 hurried to my lodgings, and, sitting down to 
 Euclid and the 'Ewra Itt\ Qrt(3a^ of iEschylus, sat 
 
STUDY. 115 
 
 up till four in the morning, preparing for lectures 
 which were to commence the day ensuing. 
 
 From the time I could lisp a syllable, I had felt 
 an insuperable love of knowledge, so much so, that 
 at three years of age I read English, and long before 
 children are taught to write, I used to copy, with a 
 silver-spoon I had purloined, all the writing, con- 
 sisting of memorandums, &c. I could find about 
 the house called Linwood-hall, upon the walls of 
 an unfrequented (because supposed to be haunted) 
 part of that spacious mansion. I never could 
 then prevail upon my father or mother to let me 
 have the use of pen and ink, for fear of spoiling 
 my bibs and frocks, and thus at the expense of a 
 little silver, I acquired a tolerably correct notion 
 of forming the letters of the alphabet — and I will 
 venture to assert, a much more correct one than 
 ever Dr. Parr and some other distinguished pen- 
 men ever acquired ; unless, indeed, which I half 
 suspect, their calligraphy was affectation. My 
 family tell me to this day, and I recollect the 
 circumstance perfectly well, that when afflicted 
 so as to be blind for fifteen days, my only consola- 
 tion was, to know that my little juvenile library, 
 consisting of about twenty volumes, one of which, I 
 recollect, was entitled “ Wisdom in Miniature,” 
 
 i 2 
 
116 
 
 LECTURES. 
 
 was constantly within my reach. At this early 
 age, I was nick-named by my little sisters “ The 
 Parson ” and they used to take a delight in hiding 
 my books, in order to make a play-fellow of me. 
 But my love for learning was irresistible. It 
 overcame all obstacles. Learn I would, and with- 
 out giving the reader a tiresome detail of the 
 various schemes I devised to gratify this passion — 
 how I first found my way to school — how, from 
 being the head of one school, I transferred myself 
 three several times to others, each time exhausting 
 the stock of the master — suffice it to say, that up 
 to this commencement of my literary career in the 
 University, my ardour glowed with undiminished 
 energy. 
 
 After chapel I had scarcely time to breakfast 
 before St. Mary's struck nine — the hour for the 
 Mathematical Lecture. Palpitating at all points, 
 I “ wended my way” to the Lecture-room, which 
 presently received about a hundred of us, Sizars, 
 Pensioners, Fellow-commoners, and Noblemen, 
 seating themselves indiscriminately at the several 
 desks, which were amply supplied with all the im- 
 plements of scribbling — pens, ink, and foolscap. 
 The Lecturer was elevated at a sort of rostrum, to 
 produce, no doubt, an impression upon the youth- 
 
LECTURES. 
 
 117 
 
 ful group, as to the dignity and importance of his 
 duties. All was silent as the grave, each and every 
 one of us, marvelling in breathless suspense, and 
 eyeing each other with most funking physiognomy, 
 when Mr. Brown very learnedly inquired of us, 
 one by one, if we knew our own names. The first 
 gentleman addressed, foreseeing that the porten- 
 tous question was about to be popped to him, 
 turned pale as ashes, and with some difficulty 
 pronounced the word most familiar to him. The 
 rest grew gradually more courageous, insomuch 
 that the last one did positively not once quake nor 
 quiver. 
 
 Mr* B. having thus formed a nomenclature of 
 the assembly, and glanced his eyes around him 
 for some minutes, to associate the name with the 
 person, he proceeded to inquire if we had furnished 
 ourselves with a case of mathematical instruments. 
 Out flew, with something like the precision of 
 soldiery, a case before each man, with scarcely a 
 defaulter ; when the learned Lecturer, with a 
 nondescript smile playing about his countenance, 
 said, “ I am glad, gentlemen, to see you come to 
 lecture thus prepared, because it augurs well you 
 will not be wanting in other respects ; but I must 
 
118 
 
 LECTURES. 
 
 inform you, these implements are here super- 
 fluous, inasmuch as in the theory we are about to 
 expound, there are none other than straight lines 
 and circles. Now all of you can draw a straight 
 line, I should hope, and as to the circle it is thus 
 described” — placing his little finger of the right- 
 hand firmly on the paper, and at the same time 
 moving the paper round it so as to come in con- 
 tact with the pen during the entire revolution. 
 “ Thus you see, gentlemen, you may omit bring- 
 ing your instruments hither in future, and those 
 gentlemen, also, who have slates before them, 
 will be pleased to bring them no more, paper 
 being the only thing scribbled upon, in order to 
 prepare for the use of it at the Examina- 
 tions. Very good. This being the first day, I 
 shall dismiss you thus early, and hope to see every 
 one of you at the same hour to-morrow, so pre- 
 pared in Euclid, as to demonstrate viva voce , when 
 called upon promiscuously, any proposition in the 
 first book I may think proper to fix upon. Very 
 good. Good morning, gentlemen.” 
 
 The first Lecture in Mathematics being thus 
 abruptly terminated, we had just time to trudge 
 home with the slates and instruments, and take 
 
LECTURES. 
 
 ] 19 
 
 a turn or two in the walks to stretch our under- 
 standings, when the two-tongued* bell of Trinity 
 gave us a duplicate of the hour of ten — the 
 summons for attending the Greek Lecturer, in the 
 room immediately over the former. Here we 
 found Professor Monk, now Dean of Peterboro' > , 
 prepared to give us a reception something similar 
 to that of Mr. Brown. 
 
 After having ascertained our names with great 
 precision, and taken care to inform us he shall 
 hope to find us the next day at the same hour, 
 prepared to construe any part of the opening of 
 the u Seven against Thebes,” to give the geo- 
 graphy of the scenes in it, and the history of the 
 dramatis personae, events, and allusions, Professor 
 Monk broke up the assembly by, “ I hope, gen- 
 tlemen, your attendance will be regular throughout 
 the term. Good morning to you, gentlemen.” 
 
 * St. John's College having no clock, and Trinity one 
 which twice tells the hour — the first time in a deep bass, 
 and the second in a squeaking treble, — something like a 
 Pig in a Gate ; the Johnian Freshman, yea, and some of 
 the Sophs even, from a tacit sense of their inferiority, and 
 perhaps from sympathy, do oft adopt the latter as their 
 own time-teller. This mistake is the more natural, from 
 the juxta-position of the two colleges. 
 
120 
 
 LECTURES. 
 
 The Lectures for the day being over, we dis- 
 persed in all directions, something like a regiment 
 after a review in the Park. Having no more 
 sights to see, and, from the expectations expressed 
 by both the Lecturers, much to prepare for the 
 next day’s Lectures, I went as straight homewards 
 as the irregular streets and lanes of the ancient 
 town of Cambridge would permit, and soon found 
 myself surrounded by such books as I had pro- 
 cured from the Public Library (this is done, as I 
 have already intimated, under the rose, by the con- 
 nivance of some M. A.), from Trinity Library, 
 and from Maps’ excellent Circulating Library. 
 Those recommended by the Tutor, Mr. Hudson, 
 for the Greek play, were Porson’s Hecuba, the 
 preface containing the most valuable Treatise ever 
 written on the Greek Metres, Barlow Seale’s 
 and Herman’s more lengthy discussions of the 
 same subject — Burney’s Tentamen de Metris 
 (being nothing worth) having no place in my col- 
 lection. Scapula’s Lexicon, Dawe’s Miscellanea 
 Critica, Bentley’s Phalaris, the Travels of Ana- 
 charsis, Hoogeveen’s Particularum Doctrina, 
 Boss’s Ellipses, Franklin’s Translation of Sopho- 
 cles (for its prefatory matter relating to the Gre- 
 cian Stage), Cumberland’s Observer (for the same 
 
LECTURES. 
 
 121 
 
 use as the work last-named)* Brumoy’s Greek 
 Theatre, Tyrwhit’s Aristotle, Horace’s Ars 
 Poetica, Gillies’s History of Greece (Mitford’s, I 
 wished to have, but it was so expensive to pur- 
 chase, and so much in request at the libraries, that 
 I was compelled at first to put up with Gillie’s), 
 D’Anville’s Ancient Atlas, Butler’s iEschylus 
 (a more stupid chaos of confusion than which does 
 not exist— areal “M iya j3ij3Xlov /ueya kcikov ”), and 
 finally, the luminous and erudite comment upon 
 the f E7rra £7rt Srifiag itself, by Dr. Blomfield, 
 formed, as far as I can recollect, the remainder of 
 the catalogue. 
 
 Being a true patriot, and, therefore, desirous of 
 circulating my knowledge, of whatever description, 
 freely amongst my countrymen, I have thus en- 
 deavoured to point out to such as have not enjoyed 
 the advantages of an University education, the 
 sources from which they can draw most information 
 upon this one department of Grecian literature. 
 Whether this catalogue prove useful I won’t be 
 positive. Thus much is clear, that it is as enter- 
 taining and instructive to the full, as is Homer’s 
 catalogue of ships, and some other lists that might 
 be named. 
 
 Books like these, at Cambridge, I presently 
 
122 BOOKS AND READING. 
 
 perceived, from their thumb-worn exteriors, are 
 not long on the shelf. From a real love of know- 
 ledge, however, more than by this conviction, was 
 I influenced in the determination I now made, 
 of familiarizing myself with their contents. 
 Strange representations of the indolence and igno- 
 rance of students had been made to me by the 
 clergy I had known in my native county ; which, 
 however true they might be in their time, I soon 
 discovered perfectly inapplicable to this enlightened 
 period. A gentleman, educated at Oxford, had 
 suggested the very best and shortest cut to emolu- 
 ments, according to his Oxonian notions — a ge- 
 neral habit of obsequiousness, and the patronage 
 of the great. A worthy magistrate (rather a 
 tyrannical one the rustics would say),- in the vici- 
 nity of Peterboro’, used ever and anon to relate in 
 my ear the singular (I should hope) and interesting 
 fact, that at Clare-hall he had been elected Fellow - 
 principally (if he had used the word solely it 
 would have been more suitable) from the circum- 
 stance, highly creditable to his devotional feelings, 
 of his having never absented himself from chapel, 
 night or morning, during the whole period of his 
 residence. But these notions I saw at a glance, 
 would, at Trinity, prove fallacious. It was clear 
 
CRAMMING. 
 
 123 
 
 as the sun, that the libraries in the University 
 were not only shown, but used. Many of the 
 volumes before me had the appearance of once 
 having been splendidly bound, but in the course 
 of a few years they had experienced so much 
 rough handling, that a new coat was beginning to 
 be absolutely necessary for the preservation of the 
 bodies of them. Thus it was demonstrable, that 
 for the good things around me there had been 
 some competition. Rejoiced was I greatly in 
 making this discovery, inasmuch as digging and 
 delving for knowledge had ever jumped with my 
 humour. To fagging I set to, therefore, with as 
 keen a relish as ever alderman sat down to turtle. 
 
 The first twenty propositions of Euclid, I 
 forthwith u crammed,’" deeming this a quantum 
 suff. for Johnny Brown, as he was affectionately 
 called by all but Freshmen. I then proceeded to 
 make like preparation for Professor Monk (we 
 never used any darling diminutives in reference 
 to that gentleman), and having made sure of con- 
 struing the next day, if called upon, any stanza 
 or stanzas of the Iambics, with which the first act 
 commences, the next thing to be done was to pvail 
 myself of the collateral information afforded me 
 by the volumes above-mentioned. Thus occupied. 
 
124 
 
 LECTURES. 
 
 the dinner and chapel-bells having in the interval 
 been duly attended to, I sat up till half-past 
 three in the morning. Whilst musing over 
 the chorusses, the strophes and antistrophes, 
 analyzing csesuras and quasi-caesuras, I myself 
 was being scanned by a fair household god- 
 dess, who tripping into my presence, in the 
 most celestial accents, breathed apprehension lest 
 I should ruin my health by such midnight medi- 
 tations, and looking unutterable things, a language 
 I then less understood than Greek (and of this I 
 was ignorant enough), hastily withdrew, covered 
 with confusion. Joseph-like, I retired to my soli- 
 tary pillow, dozing away the few hours that in- 
 tervened before the hour of chapel. 
 
 The hour of nine having now arrived, we again 
 assembled at the Mathematical Lecture-room. 
 Being seated, Mr. B. again went over the names, 
 and praised our punctuality, there being not one 
 absentee. After which, he asked, first one and 
 then another, the several definitions of a point, a 
 straight line, a curved line, a triangle, a square, 
 a parallelogram, a pentagon, a circle, &c. &c. &c. 
 and these questions being answered, with not more 
 than fifty blunders, he came upon your humble ser- 
 vant with, u Mr. W., what is meant by an 
 axiom V 
 
LECTURES. 
 
 125 
 
 “ An axiom, Sir” (quoth I), “is a truth so self- 
 evident, that its terms need only be expressed in 
 language, to be universally understood and ad- 
 mitted.” 
 
 “ Very good, Sir, though not precisely in the 
 language of Euclid. But what is the first axiom 
 of Euclid, or of Geometry, as I may say, the 
 terms being synonymous ?” 
 
 “ Things which are equal to the same, are equal 
 to one another.” 
 
 “ Very good, Sir. What the second, and what 
 the third ?” 
 
 “ If equals be added to equals the sums are 
 equal. If equals be taken from equals the re- 
 mainders are equal.” 
 
 “ Very good ?” 
 
 Mr. B. next interrogated one and then another, 
 until having got through the twelve axioms, or 
 self-evident propositions, not one of which could 
 we contradict, he gave a brief recapitulation of 
 them, the definitions, and postulates, and con- 
 cluded (or at least might have done) by the fol- 
 lowing eulogium — 
 
 “ These Definitions, Axioms, and Postulates, 
 constitute, gentlemen, simple and self-evident as 
 they are, the foundations of all Mathematical and 
 
126 
 
 LECTURES. 
 
 Philosophical science. Upon them as an imperish- 
 able, and immoveable substratum, rests that tower* 
 ing fabric of science, which reaches the remotest 
 penetralia of the heavens. Step by step, gentle- 
 men, we hence shall climb successively, as‘ by a 
 tower of Babel, the several rounds of Geometry, 
 of Algebra, of the Analytics generally, of Mechanics, 
 and Optics, winding our way to the topmost 
 pinnacle — Astronomy.” As I have already said, 
 Mr. Brown, / little as he was given to heroics, 
 either did, or did not deliver this speech. Certain 
 it is, no London lecturer, none of those self-dubbed 
 Professors, would have let slip such a glorious 
 opportunity. 
 
 After Mr. Brown had passed us over the “Asses’ 
 Bridge, without any serious accident, and con- 
 ducted us a few steps further into the first book, 
 he dismissed us with many compliments, and a few 
 Deductions,^ the latter of which, we were to 
 “ prove,” by the next day, and bring back with us. 
 
 It was now ten o’clock, and up stairs we therefore 
 
 * The fifth Proposition is so called, or rather u Pons 
 Asinorum,” from the difficulty with which many get over 
 it. 
 
 f Are propositions not given by the “ Book-work n but 
 derivable from it. 
 
LECTURES. 
 
 127 
 
 iiew to gobble Greek with the Professor. Enthroned 
 he sat, with “ head erect and all-important brow,” 
 more vastly great, I ween, than ever looked iEschy- 
 lus himself, or even those ancient schoolmasters, 
 who spoke this u language of the Gods” — Aristotle, 
 Socrates, or Plato. In his manner and person, 
 the Professor was a striking contrast to the mathe- 
 matical lecturer. Stiff and formal to a degree, he 
 could never relax into a smile, much less could he 
 endure anything bordering upon jocularity, however 
 pleasant might be the subject of his lectures, or 
 admit the slightest familiarity from these grown- 
 up young gentlemen. Equally solicitous was he, 
 to elevate his diction, and succeeded, so as to 
 deliver himself in a style — to say the least of it — 
 semi-bombastic. Like all other pickers of choice 
 words and expressions, his voice, naturally harsh, 
 although sonorous, would ever and anon dwell, not 
 in the style of a sostenuto, but closely resembling 
 the drone of a bagpipe, thus stealing time for the 
 selection, and making his speech continuous. Mr. 
 Brown, on the other hand, was as distinguished for 
 the affability of his demeanour as for the ease 
 and chasteness of his language. With the excep- 
 tion of his favourite phrase of kind encouragement, 
 
128 
 
 LECTURES. 
 
 “ very good,” which from habit, I suppose, he 
 often complimented even himself withal, his sen- 
 tences, although on a less wordy subject, from being 
 less forced and excogitated, greatly exceeded the 
 Professor's in every natural grace, and conse- 
 quently, were much more agreeable to the audience. 
 
 By this comparison, I wish not to disparage, 
 but merely express my opinions, as I have done, 
 and shall do upon all other topics, with perfect 
 independence. I am willing to give the Professor 
 ample credit for his rare and extensive knowledge 
 of Greek, by admitting him to be one of the first 
 Greek scholars of this country, notwithstanding 
 the slurs and sneers of that fellow Herman of 
 Leipsic. His lectures I much profitted from, not 
 only in the Greek play, but also from those on 
 Herodotus, Livy, &c., which he subsequently 
 delivered to the men of my year. 
 
 But I have strayed a little. We were now 
 listening to an oration from the Professor, on the 
 origin and progress of the drama ; the substance of 
 which, as I trust most of my readers are play- 
 going people, I shall endeavour to recollect for 
 them. 
 
 “ Gentlemen (said the Professor), ere we com- 
 
LECTURES. 
 
 129 
 
 mence our criticisms upon the play before us, it 
 will be proper to say a few words as to the nature, 
 origin, and progress, of the Ancient Drama, 
 generally. 
 
 “ Tragedy appears, gentlemen, to have derived 
 its name and origin from the Ancient Greek 
 Festivals which w T ere celebrated in honor of 
 Bacchus, in which extemporary verses, called 
 Dithyrambs, conceived in an enthusiastic and 
 inflated manner, were chanted. 
 
 “ The word Tragedy is derived from rpayog a 
 goaty the victim offered at these sacrifices, and 
 which was likewise proposed as a prize to him who 
 composed the best Dithyramb, joined with wSrj a 
 song , thus forming the word, rpayip&a. But this 
 was not used till the more advanced state of the 
 drama. In its first rude state it was simply deno- 
 minated icioptoSla (Iv KWfiaig wdri') the village sorig . 
 
 “Next, a cask of wine was proposed as the prize, 
 and from rpvya and o)$rj originated the appellation 
 of rpvycpSia , song of the cask , the subject of which 
 being of a humorous kind, hence arose Comedy. 
 
 “ These village songs had amused the Athenians 
 for some time; when, 536 years before Christ* 
 there appeared, each at the head of a company of 
 actors, Susarion and Thespis, both born in a small 
 
 VOL. I. K 
 
130 
 
 LECTURES. 
 
 town of Attica, named Icaria— -the one on a kind 
 of stage, the other in a cart. Susarion attacked 
 the vices and absurdities of his time, and Thespis 
 ascended to nobler subjects, taken from history. 
 Thespis had, more than once, one of the singers 
 mount on a table, where hymns only were sung, 
 and form a dialogue with the chorus. From this 
 hint he conceived the happy idea of introducing an 
 actor, who, by simple recitals, should relieve the 
 chorus, divide the action, and render it more inter- 
 esting. This innovation, together with some other 
 liberties, alarmed the legislator at Athens. Solon 
 condemned a species of composition in which the 
 ancient traditions were disguised by fictions. ‘ If 
 we applaud falsehood in our public exhibitions/ 
 (said he to Thespis) { we soon shall find that it will 
 insinuate itself into our most sacred engagements/ 
 The excessive approbation, however, with which 
 both Thespis’ and Susarion’s pieces were received, 
 rendered the foresight of Solon unavailing. The 
 poets, who till then had used Dithyrambics and 
 licentious satire, struck with the elegant forms 
 which these began to assume, dedicated their time 
 and talents to Tragedy and Comedy. Tragedy, 
 soon after assumed greater variety. Horace in hi s 
 Ars Poetica, says : 
 
LECTURES. 
 
 131 
 
 ‘ Ignotum Tragicae genus invenisse Camoenae 
 Dicitur et Flaustris vexisse poemata Thespis 
 Quae canerent, agerentque pemncti faecibus orae/ 
 
 66 Phrynicus, the disciple of Thespis, now flourish- 
 ing, introduced women’s characters, and changed 
 the metre from Trochaic to lambic. 
 
 “ iEschylusnext introduced, in the four hundred 
 and eightieth year before Christ, a dialogue between 
 two persons, in which he interwove some interesting 
 story ; and as the chorus now only held a subaltern 
 station, he shortened its part considerably, and the 
 songs no longer related to Bacchus, but to the 
 story itself in which the actors were concerned. 
 iEschylus also, greatly improved the scenery and 
 decorations of the stage ; brought his actors into 
 a regular and well-constructed theatre; raised his 
 heroes on the Cothurnus , or Buskin ; invented 
 Masques, and introduced splendid habits with long 
 trains. To these improvements, Horace bears 
 testimony in 
 
 < personae pallaeque repertor honestse 
 
 iEschylus, et modicis instravit pulpita tignis, 
 
 Et docuit magnumque loqui, nitique Cothurno/' 
 
 “ This father of tragedy had signalized himself 
 at the battles of Marathon, Salamis, and Plataea. In 
 his first Tragedies he introduced (as I have already 
 said) a second actor, but copying Sophocles, then 
 k 2 
 
132 
 
 LECTURES. 
 
 a new and younger dramatist, he introduced a 
 third, and, sometimes, even a fourth. He is cen- 
 sured for having admitted mutes into his plays. 
 In one of his pieces, the 4 Eumenides,’ moreover, the 
 infernal divinities appeared for the first time, with 
 serpents entwined in their hair, and followed by a 
 numerous retinue of dreadful spectres. It is said, 
 at the sight of them, and the sound of their terrific 
 howlings, terror struck the whole audience, women 
 miscarried, and children expired through fear, 
 which compelled the magistrates to reduce the 
 number in the chorus, from fifty to fifteen. iEschy- 
 lus exercised the actors in their action, by his own 
 example. 
 
 4 c Being falsely accused of revealing the Eleusinian 
 Mysteries in one of his tragedies, with difficulty 
 he escaped from the fury of the populace, and yet 
 he forgave their infatuated injustice because his 
 life only had been in danger ; but seeing his rival 
 Sophocles preferred, he exclaimed, 44 I must leave 
 to time to restore my performances to the place 
 they merit and abandoning his country, went to 
 reside in Sicily, where king Hiero, loaded him 
 with civility and honours. Here he died, at the 
 age of seventy. The epitaph, written by himself 
 was as follows : 
 
LECTURES. 
 
 133 
 
 * Here Res iEschylus, the son of Euphorion, born in Attica. He died in the 
 Fertile country of Geta. The Persians and the woods of Marathon, will for 
 ever Attest his Valour.’ 
 
 44 What I have already advanced, gentlemen, will 
 give a general idea of ancient Tragedy, and the 
 character of the warlike author of the 4 Seven 
 against Thebes.’ During our progress through 
 the Play itself, I shall offer other remarks, as 
 they occur to me, more completely illustrative of 
 the subject. I shall conclude these prefatory 
 observations, with referring you to such works as 
 will afford you the fullest information, viz. Franklin’s 
 Translation of Sophocles, &c. &c.” 
 
 The professor having brought his speech to a 
 finish, requested the Honourable W. H. to construe, 
 beginning with KAAMOT 7 toXltcu. After this gen- 
 tleman had anglicised ten or a dozen verses with 
 tolerable fluency and accuracy, considering thg 
 agitation he evinced, he was interrogated as to the 
 History, Geography, &c., and required to produce 
 44 parallel passages,” with much judgment on the 
 part of the Professor, and he acquitted himself 
 44 as well as could be expected .” Mr. F., from 
 Tate’s of Richmond, w r as next to construe ; who 
 did somewhat better than the former ; and from the 
 affectation of his pronunciation, (peculiar to the 
 Tatians), of the diphthongs, which so abound in 
 
134 
 
 LECTURES. 
 
 Greek, excited much more surprise and observation. 
 Next was singled cut a learned Scotsman (who 
 in Scotland is not learned?), a Mr. D — ss, who 
 being just imported, piping hot, from sweet Edin- 
 burgh — that soi-disant u Modern Athens,” was 
 expected to have the Greek at his fingers’ ends. 
 But alas ! poor D. his instructors at the Mare- 
 schal College Aberdeen, and High-School at the 
 far-famed University of Edinbro’, had furnished his 
 upper apartments very shabbily indeed. Like 
 all others from the same quarter, whom I knew at 
 Cambridge (and there were plenty of them), his 
 construing was any thing but English — Erse most 
 probably, and his notions of quantity in the 
 syllables were such as to produce no difference, 
 except an accidental one, between longs and shorts, 
 between rj and f, w, o, — between diphthongs and 
 vowels. A very worthy and prudent young gentle- 
 man was this, and proud of as long a pedigree 
 as would reach from Holy rood to St. James ; 
 but like most of his bragging countrymen, as defi- 
 cient in knowledge, properly so called, as could 
 well be desired. This was not his fault, however, 
 but that of the system of education adopted in 
 Scotland. Every Cantab, who knows any thing ? 
 knows full well, from the specimens every year ex- 
 
LECTURES. 
 
 135 
 
 hibiting at Cambridge, that the Scotch are a 
 nation of pedants. — They skim the surface of lite- 
 rature, indeed, but never reach the bottom — or to 
 quit this metaphor, and take up Johnson’s 66 every 
 one gets a mouthful of learning, but no one a 
 belly full.” They disregard Pope’s old maxim, 
 
 “ A little learning is a dangerous thing, 
 
 Drink deep, or taste not the Castalian spring,” 
 scarcely sipping the streams of knowledge. The 
 consequence of which is, that if you fall in with 
 a Scot, you get hold of a bore of a pedant ; who, 
 first taking you for swine, casts his small stock of 
 pearls before you, without mercy ; and then, upon 
 your turning round upon him, and exposing the 
 scantiness of his information, amuses you with a 
 flaming account of the Latinity of ploughboys and 
 milkmaids wooing in the pastorals of Virgil ; tells 
 you the story of the admirable Crichton, with suit- 
 able comments, and ends with a pompous rigma- 
 role, about the wealth, honours, and erudition of 
 Aberdeen, St. Andrew’s, Dumfries, Glasgow, and 
 Edinbro’. This you must submit to, meet him 
 where you may — except in Cambridge or Oxford, 
 where, soon discovering his boasted learning to be 
 but as sounding brass, or as a tinkling cymbal,” 
 he never spouts it, but at the command of the 
 
136 
 
 LECTURES, 
 
 Lecturer or Examiner, and then, for the amuse- 
 ment of the whole lecture-room. A few exhibi- 
 tions of this kind, convince him, that the little he 
 has acquired at Edinbro’ is so indigested, that 
 the only remedy left him, is, to disgorge it. It 
 sticks to him, however, with such pertinacity, that 
 by the time he has effectually dislodged it, the 
 three years of his noviciate have frittered away ; 
 and all he can aspire to at the Senate-house exami- 
 nation, is a place amongst the Apostles. 
 
 All the world know the difficulty of divesting 
 themselves of bad habits, whether in the ordinary 
 affairs of life, or in the arts and sciences. All 
 teachers on the violin, piano, in drawing, dancing, 
 &c. &c., without an exception, prefer instructing 
 pupils, ab origine , to taking them from the hands 
 of incompetent masters— -so much have the latter 
 class to unlearn . Just so is it at the English Uni- 
 versities with the Scots, and from observation, as well 
 as theory, the position is maintainable. During the 
 lapse of something more than seven years I resided 
 at Cambridge, and cannot recollect a single instance 
 of a Scotchman, Scottishly educated prior to his 
 entrance there, having succeeded to the honours 
 or emoluments of Trinity. 
 
 I disclaim all personal animosity against theindi- 
 
LECTURES. 
 
 137 
 
 vidua! Mr. D. whose deficiencies I have thus exposed, 
 as a sample of those of the whole body of his country- 
 men. I have merely hit upon him, because he was 
 the first to exhibit them. I also deny the existence 
 of any national pique or prejudice against the Scotch 
 nation. That the Scotch are industrious, honest, 
 and honourable, even to a proverb, I readily admit, 
 having found them strictly so in all the intercourse 
 I happily have had with them. They make 
 excellent friends and neighbours even to Englishmen. 
 I must, in short, confess, that, in all the relations 
 of life, I deem them above my own countrymen. 
 But much as I admire their moral and social prin- 
 ciples, their pretensions to superiority over the 
 Southrons in literature and science, I consider per- 
 fectly contemptible ; imputable only to their com- 
 parative ignorance. 
 
 This is the true character of the Scottish literati 
 in general. By the exceptions, such as, Maclaurin, 
 Dugald Stewart, Robison, Brewster, &c., (Play- 
 fair, I don’t think it would be fair play to call a 
 genius) who were geniuses above the control of 
 education, my argument, as the proverb says, is 
 confirmed. 
 
 Such being the extent of the usefulness of a 
 
138 
 
 SCOTCH EDUCATION. 
 
 Scotch education, what advantages are we to expect 
 from an establishment in London, originating and 
 progressing under the auspices of a handful of 
 persons thus initiated ? It need scarcely be observed 
 I allude to the projected London University, 
 inasmuch as all must have noticed the striking 
 circumstance, that the thing has been fathered by 
 Campbell (without being the true progenitor, 
 perhaps; for, according to some, Orator Henley has 
 the first claim to that honour) fostered by Brough- 
 am and Dr. Birkbeck the physician— Scottish all. 
 Now, I should like to be informed, what just pre- 
 tensions can this Poet, this Lawyer , or this Doctor, 
 maintain as to the direction of the education of 
 London ? By dint of uncommon perseverance, and 
 good natural talents, for aught I know, each of 
 the triumvirate has attained considerable pre-emi- 
 nence in his proper profession ; but surely, because 
 one can jingle rhymes, another cross the bumpkins, 
 and the third sign a man’s doom in dog-latin, they 
 are not to u rule the roast ” over the intellects of 
 this huge metropolis. Permit it, ye. people of 
 London, and ye reduce this magnificent, this 
 glorious city, as to intellectual worth, to the 
 level of u Modern Athens.” Scottish are the 
 
LONDON UNIVERSITY. 
 
 139 
 
 originators of the scheme, and their immediate 
 disciples, nine out of ten, are Scottish. Who, then, 
 are to fill the situations of Chancellor, Vice-chan- 
 cellor, Professors, &c. (great names forsooth, for 
 an establishment, the entire capital of which will 
 fall far short of the annual income of either Uni- 
 versity, properly so called) I would ask ? Why 
 Scotchmen. No, I stand corrected —it being an 
 equal chance, that a few dissenters at the instance 
 of the great Mr. C-x , whom his friends of the 
 London University address by the hacknied M. A. 
 little as he is intitled to letters ; of the unpa- 
 ralleled seceder from the Caledonian church Mr. 
 
 F , &c. &c. &c. may have an opportunity of 
 
 proselytizing ; and a dead certainty, that the radicals 
 will have permanent stalls to Jesuitize in, inas- 
 much as the abettors or patrons consist, almost 
 without an exception, of these three classes of his 
 majesty’s subjects. Scotticism, Dissenterism, and 
 Radicalism, were never so closely united. But the 
 two former classes will prove the dupes of the last 
 — or the course things usually take will strangely 
 alter. 
 
 This disposition of the few situations being 
 effected, after due jostling and scrambling for them, 
 the only learning to be had for your subscription 
 
140 
 
 LON DON UNIVERSITY. 
 
 will be a “ mouthful,” whilst a u bellyful ” of 
 disaffection to Church and King will be crammed 
 into you gratuitously . If, however, the Scotch 
 Lecturers should presume to teach Latin and 
 Greek, what with their own brogue, their igno- 
 rance of the “ longs and shorts ” above alluded to, 
 and the cockney dialect of their pupils, we may 
 anticipate as rare a compound of Attic refinement, 
 as uncome-atable a jargon of incomprehensibleness, 
 as ever mankind listened to. 
 
 If an institution be established for the education of 
 the cocknies, in the name of good sense let it begin 
 with the beginning, and first engage Thelwall to 
 teach them their letters — the difference between v and 
 w, and between w and v. After this important ac- 
 quisition is indisputably ascertained, call in a few 
 writing-masters, accountants, and teachers of navi- 
 gation and the use of the globes , and these, with 
 a little reading of the Bible, under the surveillance 
 of parents, on Sundays, and a few nocturnal lucu- 
 brations over the luminous pages of the Mechanics’ 
 Magazine, will prove amply sufficient for the suc- 
 cessful prosecution of the occupations of those who 
 cannot meet the expenses of the 66 finish” at Oxford 
 or Cambridge. 
 
 But from the Lecture-room of Trinity I have 
 
LECTURES. 
 
 141 
 
 deviated greatly, and I fear to little purpose, 
 seeing the obsequiousness of Brougham and his 
 associates to “ the Little/’ will operate much in 
 the same way as does the same upon u the Great.” 
 Both extremes thus meet in the middle. 
 
 My uncle Toby saith, “ we shall see.” 
 
 After 66 The X) — — ss” had figured away for 
 a short time, the Professor “ called upon” some 
 others promiscuously to 6C go on,” at certain pas™ 
 sages, and assisting them with his own comments 
 as they required assistance, he finally brought the 
 second Lecture to a close, with a repetition of the 
 request before delivered, of a full attendance on 
 the morrow. 
 
 Thus were we lectured throughout the October 
 term, in Mathematics and in Classics, Mr. Brown 
 drilling us through Euclid, and the Professor 
 performing, and causing us to perform, in Greek 
 Tragedy. The leading actors were Lefevre, 
 Fisher, Lettsom, and another or two, with a host 
 of mediocres, and a few candle-snuffers. For my 
 own part, being weak in nerve, and not very ambi- 
 tious of a display viva voce , I used to get in as 
 obscure a part of the room as could be found* the 
 consequence of which was, that I was (c put on” 
 but seldom. On one occasion, I was desired to 
 
142 
 
 LECTURES. 
 
 begin with something which I turned into C6 the 
 goats were bleating , &c.” The “ Hat-Fellow- 
 commoner ?,# H te thereupon showing symp- 
 
 toms of satisfaction, not having before heard the 
 cry of goats called bleating , was politely reproved 
 by Monk, who requested him to supply, if it were 
 in his vocabulary, something more appropriate. 
 This, the gentleman not being prepared for, the 
 ridicule before bestowed upon me was speedily 
 transferred to himself. 
 
 The deductions from Euclid, I used to take as 
 much pleasure in solving, as Mr. Brown did in 
 proposing. On our delivering them up to him, 
 after pointing out the merits of each “ man’s ” 
 method, he concluded generally with a a neat and 
 elegant short cut of his own,” and a “ very good.” 
 
 i^bout the middle of this term Professor Monk 
 gave out a subject whereon such as thought 
 themselves competent might compose an ode either 
 in Alcaics or Sapphics. I chose the former species 
 of versification, and fabricated about fifty verses 
 which, together with a copy from Le — ora and 
 F- , had the honour of a particular notice. 
 
 * Hat-Fellow-commoners differ from Cap-Fellow -com- 
 moners from being remotely akin to the nobility, or the 
 eldest sons of baronets. 
 
LECTURES. 
 
 143 
 
 This success had some small effect upon my 
 “ weak mind,” and it also not a little elevated me in 
 the estimation of my fellow-students, for that very 
 day in the Library three of them, amongst whom 
 was F , did me the honour of a self-introduc- 
 
 tion. From this circumstance, coupled with the 
 victory over the Fellow-commoner in his sheepish 
 attack upon me, made my humility spring up a 
 step or two, and I began to find that there really 
 existed things inferior to myself. One man, 
 
 Cr e, used to show off greatly in Euclid, by 
 
 going through the numerous syllogisms of an in- 
 tricate proposition, with a facility and accuracy 
 that was at first passing all understanding, but by 
 degrees the gentleman developed himself, and 
 sunk into comparative insignificance. It presently 
 appeared, that the Deductions he had no talent for, 
 and it also came out, that wdien casually inter- 
 rupted by Mr. B., who was scarcely able to keep 
 pace with him, the same could seldom “ resume 
 the thread of his discourse.” Thus the gentleman 
 evinced strong memory and an indefatigable per- 
 severance, but nothing very alarming to the rest 
 of us as to intellect. Another man, possessed 
 of such a wonderful memory that (as Dr. Valpy, 
 of Reading , will inform you) he could recollect 
 
144 
 
 LECTURES. 
 
 nearly verbatim the whole of the speeches of a 
 county or other public meeting (like Woodfall’s, 
 his reports thus taken were always deemed the 
 most correct), used to figure away with similar 
 success. What is very extraordinary is, that a 
 man thus highly gifted in one faculty, should ex- 
 hibit nothing else uncommon. His classical at- 
 tainments were respectable, but not such as with 
 such a memory, and unremitting application to 
 his studies, one would have anticipated. Spite of 
 all his endeavours, and they were pretty strenuous, 
 at the examinations he never could attain beyond 
 the third class. In memory without an equal, 
 yet as to vigour of understanding — as to those 
 powers of the mind, whereby the meaning and 
 beauties of the learned languages are compre- 
 hended, and the subtle intricacies of scientific dis- 
 quisition unravelled, he was of the third order. 
 
 These anecdotes are related with no other view 
 than to point out what is not known generally — 
 the distihction between memory and intellect. To 
 a scrutinizing observer, many other things almost 
 as paradoxical present themselves. A Mr. S., 
 whom I knew at one time, was, in conversation 
 upon ordinary newspaper topics, nay, even in the 
 whole range of Belles Lettres, a match for any 
 
MENTAL DISTINCTIONS. 145 
 
 one I ever met with. At the table he used to 
 engross the conversation, dilating with eloquent 
 volubility on all the passing events of the day — 
 would discuss in most set phraseology the mea- 
 sures of ministers, awarding to each his merits or 
 delinquencies — run over the last New Novel, by 
 the Author of Waverly, describing the beauties or 
 sublimities of this or that particular passage — 
 quote the poets, ancient and modern, from Milton 
 down to Tommy Moore, interlarding en passant 
 the effusions with anecdotes of the bards them- 
 selves — dwell upon the style of architecture of 
 some ancient cathedral, or curious ruins he went 
 so many miles to inspect, with much more than 
 the enthusiasm of a Sir Christopher Wren — out- 
 herald the whole office as to the lineage and 
 bearings of all the noble residents or strangers 
 dining at the master’s table — in short, the gen- 
 tleman was a walking Encyclopaedia (he is said to 
 have read over the Britannica three times — I should 
 rather say the small portion of it intelligible to 
 him) in all those branches of knowledge about which 
 you may talk on to eternity, in all sorts of opi- 
 nions, without ever coming to any thing definitive. 
 This man and another, whose initial is the 
 same (now a troubler in the streams of Lethe), 
 VOL. I. L 
 
146 MENTAL DISTINCTIONS. 
 
 although so eminently gifted with gab, so quali- 
 fied to fill the fair sex with wonderment, had 
 nevertheless no talent for argumentation, strictly 
 so called, no power of penetrating below the sur- 
 face of things. The former could never get into 
 the mysteries of Euclid (I don't believe he 
 passed the Pons Asinorum without many a halt 
 and a stumble), spite of his anxious efforts to 
 effect it. After reading Mathematics at the rate 
 of fourteen hours a day, and upwards, for three 
 years, instead of keeping an act in the more intri- 
 cate propositions of Newton's Principia, he was 
 still floundering in Euclid, and begged to be per- 
 mitted to 46 keep” in Book the Eleventh. This 
 he did 44 keep” in, and in it he would still have 
 been keeping, had the Moderator made it a 44 sine 
 qua non” that before he should descend from the 
 rostrum, he should “ take off” one single argu- 
 ment brought against him by Dominus Opponens. 
 It was really pitiable to witness the 44 struggles of 
 this poor student through Euclid.” At the end 
 of his Freshman’s year, a few days prior to the 
 General Examinations at Trinity, a friend of mine 
 who kept in rooms distant from his by only a 
 thin partition, was night after night amused with 
 the gentleman’s self-examinations ? 44 Mr. S. (he 
 
SELF-EXAMINATIONS. 147 
 
 would speak aloud though by himself), will you 
 have the goodness to go on at the forty-seventh 
 proposition ?” — “ Yes, Sir, 111 endeavour so to 
 do .” — “ First state, Sir, the Enunciation.” — 
 “ Yes, Sir. If, upon each of the sides of a right- 
 angled triangle there be described a square, that 
 which is described upon the side subtending the 
 right-angle is equal to the other two.” — “ Very 
 well, indeed, Mr. S., but now give us the con- 
 struction.”— “ Yes, Sir. Let ABC be a right- 
 angled triangle, having the right angle BAC , the 
 square described upon the side BC is equal to 
 the squares described upon the sides BA, A C. 
 On BC describe the square BDEC , and on BA, 
 A C the squares GB, HC — upon my word, Sir, 
 I forget the next step, but let me consider” — 
 (looking at the book in his hand, I suppose) — 
 “ and through A draw AL perpendicular to DE 
 — no, I mean parallel to BD or CE, and join 
 AD, FC .” — “ Very well again, Sir. Now for 
 the Demonstration.” — “ Because each of the 
 angles BAC, BAG, is a right angle, the two 
 straight lines AC, AG, upon the opposite sides 
 of AB, make with it at the point A the adjacent 
 angles equal to two right angles — I beg pardon, 
 Sir — then because AC and AG— I, I must 
 l 2 
 
148 
 
 SELF-EXAMINATIONS. 
 
 apologize, Sir — but let me see — Oh ! this damned 
 Euclid will kill me” (in an under tone of deep 
 distress). The poor fellow thus went on through 
 the whole demonstration, stumbling at every fresh 
 syllogism, and then first apologizing to the 
 imagined Examiner, and, alternately ending, with 
 most piteous bewailings of his own shallow brain 
 and with some dire denunciation at the unfathom- 
 ableness of old Euclid’s. 
 
 This man’s loquacious habits, had talked the 
 worthy old gentleman, his father, into a firm con- 
 viction, that the Senior Wranglership could onlybe 
 withheld from his son through partiality, spite or 
 malice ; and I am told, that is his conviction still, 
 although, before he could pass the Senate House, 
 he had been plucked as often as a Lincolnshire 
 goose. After three several plucks, the moderators, 
 out of sheer compassion, gave him his degree, which 
 being his passport to the church, transferred his 
 gabble to that establishment, of which he has long 
 been a most “ Popular Preacher.”* 
 
 * It is worthy remark, the fact being indisputable, that 
 men having no ability except the sort possessed by Mr. 
 S., do usually become u Popular Preachers” Failing of 
 success at the University, where their talents are exactly 
 appreciated, their only chance in reserve to gratify the 
 
PO PULA It PREACHERS. 
 
 149 
 
 There was also another man of singular capacity. 
 He made great proficiency in classical learning 
 
 natural vanity of man, is to thump themselves into some- 
 thing extraordinary. If you ask after one of these good 
 and useful servants, a year or two after he has left college, 
 nine times in ten the reply will be, “ Oh, he is a Popular 
 Preacher.” In my day, and I suppose it remains in 
 statu quo, the terms Popular Preacher and Dunce were 
 terms nearly synonymous. I recollect perfectly well these 
 
 instances. “ Well D n, what has become of your 
 
 friend L. ? I hope the poor fellow has succeeded with the 
 Bishop better than he did in the Senate House. ” — “ God 
 bless you, Sir, he is now a very great man, ‘preaching the 
 gospel at York, to most numerous audiences. Thousands 
 are after him revering even the hem of his garment. He 
 is a Popular Preacher, Sir.” — “ No ! you don’t speak it?” 
 — u ’Tis a fact; by the Pope, I swear it. But what’s the 
 wonderment ? Why he sallied forth from the Senate 
 House, a first-rate Apostle.” — “ Aye, so he did.” On 
 another occasion, Mr. S. of Clare Hall, addressed me 
 
 with, “ What has become of your friend, D s of Clare ? 
 
 Has he used the Spoon to any purpose yet ?” — “ Yes, indeed 
 has he. By dint of industry — that labor improbus which 
 you and I so much lack — the young man has been ham- 
 mering it into them at Leicester, in the shape of gospeliz- 
 ing extemporaneously. He crams the sermons of others' 
 by heart, as he confessed to me, and thus humbugs the 
 spinners into a belief of his holding forth under the influ- 
 ence of direct inspiration. Notwithstanding, and neverthe- 
 -f- VOL. i. l 3 
 
150 
 
 MENTAL DISTINCTIONS. 
 
 carrying off all the medals and other prizes for 
 Greek Odes, Epigrams, &c., and yet strive as he 
 would, his head was of no use to him in the Mathe- 
 matics. At his examination for B. A, the 
 Moderator, having previously determined to give 
 him his degree for his classical acquirements, laid 
 before him a small scrap of paper, and without 
 requiring him to solve any particular question, 
 said, “ I will thank you, Mr. B., to write out 
 upon that piece of paper all the mathematics you 
 know.” The paper, being of greater superfices, 
 though not more superficial, perhaps, than B/’s 
 brain, it nearly remained a blank. 
 
 less, to my certain knowledge he holds many “ Love 
 Feasts ” with the spinning Jennies of that redoubtable 
 place of industry. By these and other means, Sir, he has 
 wriggled himself into favour with the Bishop of Lincoln, 
 who has already given him a good living /’ — “ Aye, aye, 
 the gentleman’s a ‘ Popular Preacher/ But where hangs 
 outK.?” — “Oh, let me see; he’s a ‘ Popular Preacher’ 
 down in the north somewhere. I saw him in London 
 a month ago, but there his auditors were all of the 
 fair sex. He goes up to town twice a year for their 
 edification.” — “ Then there’s his friend U— — , also one 
 of the twelve.” — “He’s a Popular Preacher not far from 
 Canterbury, and generally meets K. to assist in the mis- 
 sionary schemes.” 
 
MENTAL DISTINCTIONS. 151 
 
 Another I knew gifted with as vigorous an 
 intellect as any I ever fell in with, and yet as to 
 the imaginative, inventive faculties, as barren as the 
 desert. No Latin or Greek author could escape 
 the powerful grasp of his understanding, and the 
 intricacies even of Newton were equally within his 
 reach. Nevertheless any thing original, whether in 
 the Classics or Mathematics from him, were a for- 
 lorn hope. This dearth of original conception this 
 man now attributes to the study of the mathematics, 
 “ which,” says he, [see 6 Struggles of a Senior 
 Wrangler, 5 in the London Magazine] u dries up 
 the fountains of the imagination.'” So much for 
 Solomon. 
 
 I have been led into this long-winded digression 
 to explain to such as know it not already, that 
 from mere conversation a man’s talents cannot 
 possibly be duly ascertained. Innumerable are 
 
 the literary impostors. Your Ir -gs and 
 
 Flet rs will talk a man deaf, deluding even a 
 
 Brougham into admiration of their Orations, but 
 let their trashy raw nothingness once be committed 
 to paper, and its true worth is speedily detected* 
 People are in the habit of exclaiming, “ what a 
 clever man “ how prodigiously learned, 55 of 
 quacks in science, as well as in the cc Litera? 
 
152 
 
 PATRONIZING. 
 
 Humaniores,” who, were they to set to work upon 
 a Cambridge Examination paper, (such as will 
 soon be presented,) would verify full soon the 
 saying before said, 44 empty things are most noisy.” 
 Nothing very particular occurred during the 
 First Term beyond what has been already related. 
 We were pretty regular at Lectures, Hall, and 
 Chapel— at which nothing very notable occurred. 
 For the Lectures I 64 crammed” to the uttermost, 
 seldom seeking repose from my labours till three 
 in the morning ; so much collateral reading was 
 necessary for the Greek play. Professor Monk 
 perceiving my eagerness to distinguish myself, 
 backed my endeavours by kindly tendering his 
 powerful assistance in every way possible. Such 
 books as I could not procure from the libraries, I 
 had from his private selection. He gave me the 
 run of his library, which in such books as 
 Mitford’s Greece, the Travels of Anacharsis, and 
 other expensive and useful works, proved highly 
 advantageous to me. The Professor, moreover, 
 conferred upon me a still greater favour in the loan 
 of an extensive collection of Examination Papers, 
 a treasure rarely to be had, because not purchase- 
 able ; which, displaying the nature of the questions 
 usually 44 set, ’’direct, by the nearest route, to aca- 
 
PATRONIZING. 
 
 153 
 
 demical distinctions. In short, both the Professor 
 and Mr. Brown patronized me, and all others 
 evincing the same enthusiastic ambition, with a 
 kindness, and as it were fellow-feeling (their suc- 
 cess in college was doubtless the result of equal 
 energy) never to be forgotten. 
 
 With regard to the Hall, I found such abun- 
 dance of good cheer, that, although no gourmand, 
 strong must have been the temptation to have 
 seduced me into the culpability of an absence— save 
 and except at supper. When very Fresh indeed, a 
 good number of us used nightly to sup, to the 
 immeasurable merriment of a few Sophs, who 
 attended merely thus to be amused, and to play 
 off a few tricks upon us. A Mr. Law, was lawless 
 enough in these funniments. He used to call 
 himself to the Chair with a semi-comical sort of 
 countenance, and deal around his edicts as Chair- 
 man, sometimes to the delight, but at other seasons 
 to the discomfiture, if not to the dismay, of thq 
 rustic convivialists. At dinner it is customary, 
 except at three of the tables, the Fellows' 1 , the 
 Bachelors' 1 , and the Scholars’, to run off, even 
 masticating the last mouthful. But this queer 
 fellow, Law, persuaded the Freshmen of my year, 
 that, at supper, however might “ vary ” the appe- 
 
154 
 
 DUTIES. 
 
 tite or gullet of each individual, the time for 
 gratifying it was a 66 constant quantity.*” After 
 the farce had been played off some three or four 
 nights, we saw through the flimsy humbug, and 
 “ damned it . 57 
 
 For two whole months, having been forewarned 
 by the Ex-Fellow of Clare Hall, and Northampton- 
 shire magistrate before alluded to, that the surest 
 road to promotion lay through a regular attend- 
 ance at Chapel, I never once was found wanting 
 morning or evening at this muster-room. But, 
 then discovering the real object of the thing — 
 greatly at variance with the ostensible — I aban- 
 doned the project, clearly seeing it would avail 
 me nothing at the Examinations. On meeting 
 this ante-diluvian adviser (his notions were barbar- 
 ous enough for that date) soon after, on the lawn 
 of King’s College, the first shock I gave him, 
 arose from the strings in front of my gown being 
 untied; and the second, which caused uplifting 
 of hands in despair, was an acknowledgment of 
 these aberrations from Chapel. 
 
 During this term, my time was so much given 
 to study, that little had I to spare for either 
 amusements or other occupations. My contempo- 
 raries were most of them as profitably engaged, 
 
COLLEGE FRIENDSHIPS. 155 
 
 or at least, those of them whose society I was 
 desirous of, and consequently I did not greatly 
 extend the circle of my acquaintance. Besides 
 those to whom I had introductions from the 
 country, a few others one after another dropt in 
 from some odd circumstance or other. The man 
 of the “ wonderful memory,” already spoken of, 
 lodging in the same street, and therefore oft coming 
 in contact to and fro Chapel, Lectures, and Hall, 
 did, after many attempts, (the same being visible 
 enough from his sidelong glances), break in upon 
 my musings with some weather-wise observation ; 
 which I responding to, a tete a tete commenced, 
 so edifying and mutually agreeable that the turn 
 up of the thing was a u Tea and Turn-Out” at 
 his rooms that very evening. A friendship thus 
 begun, lasted for several years, and far as we are 
 apart, does still continue (for aught I know, or 
 feel) with unabated fervency. Some intimacies 
 also grew out of casualties at lectures, and other 
 places of public resort. In a word, amongst so 
 many youths equally claiming the rank of gentle- 
 men, and unsophisticated as to the formalities of 
 after life, there is so little pride and ceremony that 
 to them the old proverb 
 
 “ Pares cum paribus facillime congregantur.” 
 
156 COMMEMORATION RAY. 
 
 the best translation of which is, 
 
 “ Birds of a feather 
 With ease flock together,” 
 is peculiarly applicable. 
 
 At the close of the October Term, as it is 
 called, we have public concerts, conducted usually 
 in the Town Hall, by the Professor of Music, 
 several of the Prime Dons and Prima Donnas of 
 the metropolis being present, as well as first-rate 
 instrumentalists. The day after these delectable 
 and rational entertainments, Trinity gives a 
 splendid dinner to every member of the college, 
 inviting a ^reat number of the Noblemen and 
 Fellows of other colleges; as likewise such dis- 
 tinguished visitors as happen then to be on a 
 tour to this attractive retreat of the Muses. This 
 grand and sumptuous festival being given in 
 honour of those benefactors who, for the good of 
 their souls generally, bequeathed their estates for 
 the good of the college, is denominated the Com- 
 memoration. In the morning of “ The Com- 
 memoration Day ” is delivered at the chapel a 
 sermon, the fag end of which is a list of the names 
 of these benefactors, and subsequently a declamation 
 in English, upon some subject connected with the 
 History of England, by him who has in the term 
 
COMMEMORATION DAY. 157 
 
 produced the best one, for which he receives Dr. 
 Hooper’s prize of ten pounds, shaped into a silver 
 goblet, w T ith a suitable inscription. Some other 
 ceremonies having been performed, at the hour of 
 three, the company begin mounting the semi- 
 circular rows of steps ascending to the skreens and 
 hall, and presently afterwards, in obedience to the 
 agreeable summons of the bell, each guest is seen 
 skirmishing away to lighten the groaning tables 
 of the good things that oppress them. Turtle, 
 and all other fishy delicacies, haunches and pasties 
 of venison, a baron of beef, and all sorts of such spe- 
 cimens of baronial hospitality ; tarts and pufferies 
 garnished and decorated with all the devices 
 a cookship # of two thousand per annum could de- 
 vise, and “ therefore,” as the Johnian and Mathe- 
 matical part of the University would say, fitted to 
 dislodge the spleen even from the most ascetic 
 (Italics in writing “ equal” emphatics in pro- 
 nunciation), and syllabubs and trifles towering 
 above the weightier whipables or whipupables in 
 light airy frothiness. The head tables are richly fur- 
 
 * The Cookship of Trinity, although the Cook of my 
 day found his way into the Gazette, is considered worth the 
 mastership. 
 
158 COMMEMORATION DAY. 
 
 nished with the college plate, # consisting of dishes 
 of all kinds and dimensions, tureens, covers, &c. 
 &c., with bowls, stoups, and flaggons, “ worthy 
 the wield” of Gog or Magog. These vasty 
 vessels, each named by some gigantic appellation, 
 foaming to the margin with rich audit, go the 
 circuit of the tables, each man rising, and with 
 both hands uplifting to his lips, as in the days of 
 our mighty forefathers. Thus regale we on the 
 
 * Each Fellow-commoner and Nobleman on quitting 
 college presents a piece of plate with his name and armo- 
 rial bearings engraven upon it, sometimes of very consi- 
 derable value. Besides these presents many others occa- 
 sionally fall in from volunteer benefactors, so that the 
 accumulation now-a-days must be immense. Some ten 
 or twelve years ago, a fellow named Kidman, in concert 
 with a chimney-sweeper, contrived to make his way through 
 a great number of bars, bolts, and locks, to these stores, 
 and carried off a few boat loads down the Cam, and thence 
 to London for the Jews. He also committed similar de- 
 predations on the plate of Caius College and King’s, from 
 the latter of which he bore away many valuable ancient 
 coins. This man being apprehended, turned round upon 
 his accomplice, hanged him, thereby escaping himself to 
 Botany Bay, where, again intriguing, he was emancipated, 
 and finally returned to the scene of his enormities, living 
 at Cambridge by making alarums for calling the Gowns- 
 men up to chapel. 
 
COMMEMORATION DAY. 
 
 159 
 
 Commemoration Day, the carousal being enlivened 
 all the while by music, (many of those who per- 
 formed at the concerts being retained for the pur- 
 pose), from the gallery. The ladies, poor things, 
 being too delicate for such mighty doings, do not 
 honour the repast by their participation. They 
 nevertheless become spectators of the fray, a gal- 
 lery being appropriated to their reception, and by 
 their winsome sympathizings do greatly enhance 
 the glories achieved. 
 
 The Noblemen decked in robes of golden 
 sheen,* have hitherto monopolized the star-gazing 
 of the fair angels above, but now another constel- 
 lation being discovered, all eyes stand fixed upon 
 it. Those Freshmen, Sophs, and Senior Sophs, 
 who at the last Midsummer Examination became 
 “ First- Class-Men,” are on this day publicly 
 presented with a copy of books, such as Newton's 
 Works, Shakspeare’s Works, &c. splendidly 
 bound, with the college arms gilded at the back 
 and on each cover. The First Class of each 
 
 * The Trinity Noblemen on this day array themselves 
 with their state dress, consisting of a bright purple silk 
 gown, gorgeously embroidered throughout. The Johnian 
 Noblemen are similarly attired, with the exception of the 
 colour of the silk, which is not purple but white. 
 
160 
 
 HONORS. 
 
 year consists usually of from six to ten men, who 
 are so much on a par, that the college deems 
 them equally distinguished, arranging their names 
 in the order of the alphabet only. Provided with 
 these lists, the chapel-clerk stands with his wand 
 of office, and in a loud voice first demands silence. 
 All now rising to witness the approaching spec- 
 tacle, the clerk pronounces the name of the 
 Prize Man first on the list, “ Mr. A.” Mr. 
 A., quiting his seat, marches the length of the 
 hall up to the Dean, who, taking the prize in his 
 hands, addresses Mr. A. with, “ In the name and 
 on the behalf of the college, Mr. A., I present 
 you with these volumes, as a memorial of the 
 honour you have done yourself and the college, in 
 the distinguished part you took at the last General 
 Examination. On the next anniversary of this 
 day, should, in the interim, your efforts be con- 
 tinued, the college will be proud thus publicly to 
 repeat these acknowledgments.” Mr. B. is next 
 called, and receives like compliments, and so on 
 through the remaining “ First-Class-Men.” A 
 few other prizes for declamations, and for reading 
 in chapel, are also publicly given on this occasion. 
 
 During this interesting ceremony, so flattering 
 to youthful ambition, and so wisely instituted by 
 
HONORS. 
 
 161 
 
 tbe-e^llege as a continual spur to exertion, all is 
 still a$ death. The Prize-men themselves are 
 not the only persons affected during their presenta- 
 tion. Others you see pale and quivering with as 
 much agitation as the very youth upon whom, as 
 a focus, all sight is directed — some, influenced by 
 the anticipation of like honours coming to their own 
 lot — others dying with bitter disappointment — 
 and many kindly sympathizing with the heroes of 
 the day, and lauding internally the enlarged and 
 liberal views of the college. Many a heart goes 
 pit-a-pat at this exhibition. To complete the 
 impression, there is only wanting the presence of 
 the mothers that gave them suck. 
 
 With the presentation end the festivities in the 
 Hall. After a few draughts of the Audit, or a 
 glass or two more of the wines, which of course are 
 found on every table, the company disperse, the 
 great ones proceeding to the Combination-room, 
 and the under-graduates forming into groups, 
 thus splitting as it were the huge assemblage into 
 a number of small parties for further entertainment. 
 
 The Hall thus cleared of the Gownsmen is to 
 be the arena for a scene in more humble life. 
 The college servants of every description, on this 
 “ important day,” immediately set to upon the 
 
 VOL. i. m 
 
162 
 
 GOING DOWN. 
 
 fragments of the feast, and doubtless the poor 
 devils enjoy the second-hand treat with a goht 
 equal to that of their betters, and something more 
 uproariously. Such queer scenes we may surmise 
 occur during these Saturnalia, that it would be 
 almost worth while, in order to witness and describe 
 them, to assume for a month the vocation of a gyp. 
 
 Other colleges have their Commemoration-day, 
 but as they never did me the honour of an invi- 
 tation, I must decline saying aught about them, 
 in praise or blame. They are sumptuous enough, 
 no doubt, as far as they go, but not to be named 
 in the same century with that at Trinity. 
 
 This day being over, as likewise the Term, the 
 Christmas vacation commences. The students 
 who wish to go home, apply for an Exeat? 
 which is a paper signed by the Tutor, Master, iand 
 Dean. If the student have any Impositions on 
 his hands, for “ ignorances or negligencies,” any 
 one of these officers, by withholding his signature, 
 prevents the completion and efficacy of this needful 
 passport. Should all be right, he goes into the 
 hall of the Master’s lodge, and there enters his 
 name in a Ledger-looking folio, and the date of his 
 Exeat . I was too far from home, and too fond 
 of College Life to think of a departure myself, and 
 
VACATION. 
 
 163 
 
 sat down with as fixed a resolution to study, as 
 though it were full Term. I took time by the 
 forelock in cramming the subjects announced for 
 the Lectures of the next Term. I availed myself 
 to the full extent of the absence of so many men, 
 in securing from the libraries (the books all u go 
 in” at the end of each Term) the best books 
 explanatory of those subjects, there being now less 
 competition for them. 
 
 The Classical subject was the XXI Book of 
 Livy, relating to the achievements of that Napo- 
 leon of the ancients — Hannibal. The Mathe- 
 matical one — the first part of Algebra, was to be 
 read according to Wood's elegant little Treatise. 
 For the former, I got Drackenborck's excellent 
 Commentaries, Hooke's Roman History, Polybius, 
 and a number of other expensive works, more or 
 less connected with the text. The latter I read 
 along with Ludlam’s and Bridge’s more elementary 
 Treatises. Not having yet acquired any relish 
 for the Mathematics, because ignorant of their 
 real importance, I greatly neglected them, bestow- 
 ing nearly the whole of my time upon the Livy, 
 or in practising versification or prose composition. 
 Thus used I to plod on with the ancients, I may 
 say, solely, never having entered upon science, 
 m 2 
 
164 
 
 GOING INTO COLLEGE. 
 
 except as a task, until the commencement of the 
 second year. I should be inclined to derive the 
 term Soph from that circumstance, were it not a 
 fact that many go through the University without 
 ever coming to this saving knowledge. 
 
 Hitherto had I remained in comfortable lodg- 
 ings in King’s-street, incurring daily very consi- 
 derable expense, but from a complication of 
 disasters, the breaking of Sheath’s bank, at 
 Boston, in Lincolnshire, which produced a failure 
 also to five or six others at the same place, losses 
 at sea, and other unforeseen misfortunes, my 
 father's finances having become exhausted, I was 
 obliged to retrench, and set about the thing in 
 true earnest. I represented to the Tutor, Mr. 
 Hudson, the deficiencies I anticipated, and re- 
 quested him to procure me rooms gratis in the 
 college. He kindly pointed out one set imme- 
 diately over the clock, which from its click-clack, 
 and other disagreeables, had not been “ kept in” 
 since the time of the famous Bishop of Llandaff, 
 Dr. Watson. These were in such a state of 
 dilapidation, there being no paper to the walls, 
 no doors, and in short, nothing valuable but a few 
 old retorts and other chytnical engines, formerly 
 the property of that distinguished philosopher, 
 
hobson’s choice.” 
 
 165 
 
 that the expense of fitting them up anew would 
 have swallowed up my remaining resources. I 
 therefore declined them. Mr. Hudson, however, 
 did not here leave me, but showed me a single 
 room in a turret of the Great Court, called 
 Merton-hall Corner, commonly styled Mutton- 
 hall Corner by the gyps and some other learned 
 bodies. If you can exist in so narrow a compass, 
 this you can have,” quoth Mr. II., leaving me, 
 and at the same time making it a “ Hobson’s 
 choice,”* by telling me none other than the two I 
 had seen w r ere vacant, in the whole college. 
 Dreary were my prospects out of college, and I 
 therefore snapped at this only opportunity of 
 “ coming into College,” The apartment was a 
 
 * Few need be told that this man was a livery stable 
 keeper to the Gownsmen of Cambridge, equally famous 
 for entertainment to man and to horse. He was hos- 
 pitable to a proverb, and such an even-handed man in his 
 dealings and doings, that even his poor beasts reaped the 
 benefits. The horse which had longest kept holiday was 
 installed invariably nearest to the exit of the stable, and 
 the first equestrian must either have him or none. Whence 
 the proverb. In several houses at Cambridge you see 
 paintings and prints of this “native” but the most durable 
 monument to his memory is the one erected by himself — 
 u Hobson’s Conduit” in the Market Place. 
 
166 GOING INTO COLLEGE. 
 
 regular Mathematical Polyhedron, in shape and 
 feature closely resembling the cell of a bee, six 
 being the number of its sides, and six the number 
 of its angles. It is no violent stretch of imagina- 
 tion, moreover, to suppose bees there be in the 
 wide compass of creation, whose cells are as capa- 
 cious. What say you, for instance, to the honey- 
 sippers of those big-bodies, Jupiter or the Geor- 
 gium ? But, “ to business,” saith the bee. 
 Whether or no a bee did ever fill so large a man- 
 sion, certain it is. that a bear has had that honour, 
 seeing the identical domicile in question was on a 
 time the residence of a “ brother Bruin.” I say 
 66 brother,” not because I have any right or title 
 to claim the gentleman as a relative myself, but 
 merely that thereupon I may ground a conjecture, 
 not the most improbable in the world, that the 
 illustrious Lord Byron had, for two reasons — the 
 one arising from their close resemblance in dispo- 
 sition, and the other from their more than fraternal 
 affection. When Lord Byron was at Trinity, he 
 kept in rooms on this staircase, round which you 
 might drive a coach and six, and had, moreover, the 
 use of the small Hexagonal one in the tower. His 
 lordship used to parade the streets accompanied 
 by an immense bear, following him like a dog. 
 
GOING INTO COLLEGE. 167 
 
 which bear had the sole use of the apartment in 
 the turret. Poor Bruin peeping out one day from 
 this retreat, bestowed so ardent an embrace upon 
 a u small College-man,” that his lordship was 
 constrained, at the suggestion of the Tutor, to 
 “ cut” him. So attached, however, were this 
 singular pair, that the whole power of the Tutor 
 was scarcely able to divide them. 
 
 Prior to taking possession of this tower, Mr. 
 Pope being about to remove from Trinity to 
 Emmanuel, by “ Bene-Discessit was desirous 
 of taking my rooms in King-street, as being at a 
 convenient distance from Emmanuel. Whilst I 
 was preparing to quit, Mr. P. came and took up 
 his residence with me. We dwelt in the same 
 house for about a fortnight, during which time, 
 many circumstances occurred, in which little acts of 
 friendship could be exchanged to our mutual ad- 
 vantage. Upon these, and a similarity of dispo- 
 sition (I don't believe I shall offend him by this 
 piece of self-commendation), was grounded a 
 friendship that has never yet tottered for a moment, 
 
 * This is a paper stating, in Latin, that you ’re a decent 
 sort of a fellow, but can be spared. It is a sort of “ cha- 
 racter from your last place.” 
 
168 
 
 ROOM IN COLLEGIA. 
 
 nor ever will. The only disagreements that arose 
 between us were owing to his extravagance in Ma- 
 thematical enthusiasm. When I used to be poring 
 over the Greek or the Latin, Pope’s eye, 66 in a 
 fine phrensy rolling,” would glance from such dull 
 matter, and taking up Peacock’s Conic Sections, 
 fall spouting them with the energy of a Pythoness. 
 Thus interrupted by effusions not as yet in the least 
 palatable to me, I used first to remonstrate, and 
 the next moment fall a laughing at his holiness^ 
 (so we called him) most unaccountable inspirations. 
 
 At length, however, P. and I parting, to my 
 tower I hied me, and there commenced a most 
 vigorous and useful course of study, which I con- 
 tinued for three or four months without interrup- 
 tion. True, almost every day 66 after Hall,” my 
 friends dropt in one after another in such numbers 
 that my tower w T as completely besieged by them ; 
 even to such an excess (if I may change the me- 
 taphor), that many a time and oft have some de- 
 parted, exclaiming all the way down stairs, “ An 
 overflow, Sir — not even standing-room.” After a 
 good round of merriment, one source of which used 
 to consist in making free with my musical instru- 
 ments, of w hich I had several — one scraping the 
 fiddle, another blowing the flute, &c. &c., each 
 
STUDY AND LECTURES. 169 
 
 and every one in a different tune, if in a tune at 
 all, this Babel-orchestra broke up of necessity, to 
 go to chapel. On my return, with the door sported, 
 the evening, like the morning, was wholly given to 
 study. 
 
 Thus employed, the vacation passed away imper- 
 ceptibly. By the time lectures re-commenced I 
 was prepared at all points in the subjects to be 
 descanted upon by Professor Monk, and had also 
 made some progress in Algebra. Bridge had 
 somewhat facilitated the difficulties of this branch, 
 but yet I was sadly deficient, and hardly skilful 
 enough to ferret out the unknown quantity in a 
 Simple Equation. Nothing occurred in either 
 Lecture-room of very great moment. The Pro- 
 fessor gave us excellent remarks upon Livy, and 
 the same men took the lead in construing, that 
 before shone conspicuously in the Play. The dis- 
 tinction between “ Reading-men *' and “ Non- 
 Reading-men ” began to manifest itself, as several 
 of the latter class, consisting chiefly of Fellow-Com- 
 moners, began to show symptoms of uneasiness and 
 presently to absent themselves, even at the certainty 
 of getting a reprimand, if not an Imposition, or a 
 putting-out of Sizings and Commons. Those who 
 were looking forward to the honors to be conferred 
 
170 
 
 LECTURES. 
 
 on the Commemoration-day, were eagerly catching 
 every word, the moment it fell from the lips of the 
 Lecturer, whilst the drones were either listlessly 
 dozing into a sort of a nap, or else employed in 
 sketching the phiz of the Lecturer. In the 
 Mathematical-room, the defaulters were, for obvious 
 reasons, still more numerous. Mr. Brown gave 
 us daily a number of neat questions for solution 
 the day following, and shewed great ingenuity in 
 his ineffectual endeavours to bring Jemmy Wood 
 and the numerous family of the Thickheads, to 
 a better understanding. In the doctrine of propor- 
 tions, a subject extremely embarrassing to these 
 gentlemen, Mr. B. gave very numerous illustrations 
 in order to shew that the things compared must be 
 homogenous or of the same kind. One of these 
 was, cc Do I make myself perfectly understood, 
 Mr. D.?” — “ Not quite, Sir.*’* — “Til go over it 
 again. You cannot state the terms of a propor- 
 tion thus, 6 Ten pounds of sugar, are to twenty 
 pounds of beef, as ten gallons of rum, to twenty 
 gallons of ox-tail soup.’ No Sir, as reasonable 
 would it be, for you to send your servant for your 
 horse, into a field containing nothing but sheep. 
 The terms must all be of one denomination. Do 
 you now comprehend me, Mr. D .?” — “ I think I 
 do, Sir.”— “ Very good.” 
 
PRIVATE TUTOR. 
 
 171 
 
 In this term a friend from the country sent me 
 a sum of money, with a request that it should 
 provide me with a private-tutor.^ Thereupon I 
 waited upon the very best in the college, as was 
 evident from the number he used yearly to drill 
 into First-Class-Men — Mr. Brass. I represented 
 to him my circumstances, acquainting him with 
 the liberality of the gentleman alluded to, but Mr. 
 Brass, although his pupillizing hours were all 
 occupied, insisted upon stealing one more 
 
 FROM SLEEP, OR OTHER RECREATIONS, TO 
 BESTOW UPON ME GRATUITOUSLY. The hour 
 of attendance, was to be from six in the morning, 
 till seven— the hour of Chapel. Shivering with 
 the cold every morning, was I visible to the few 
 then on the peep, crossing over to this worthy 
 
 * All Bachelors of Arts, who have also attained high 
 honours in the Senate House — such as Senior Wrangler, 
 Second Wrangler, or even Fifth Wrangler, receive pupils, 
 giving to each, separately, an hour's instruction. The pay, 
 as fixed by the University, is fourteen pounds each term, 
 and thirty pounds for the long vacation. But Fellows of 
 colleges, and others, who are in more request, usually 
 charge twenty pounds for the term and fifty pounds for the 
 long vacation. As some of these gentlemen receive a 
 dozen pupils, their income thence arising must be about 
 one thousand three hundred and twenty pounds. 
 
172 
 
 PRIVATE TUTOR. 
 
 Fellow’s rooms in the Great Court. In bed I 
 generally found him, but the moment I made my 
 entrance, the outer door being always open for my 
 admission, out he would jump, with the most 
 cheerful alacrity, and commence his invaluable 
 instructions, without even waiting to put on hose, 
 or unmentionables. He would first set me going 
 by “ writing out” an elegant demonstration of 
 some important proposition in algebra, such as 
 Newton’s Binomial Theorem for instance. Having 
 thus trimmed up some rough awkward process, he 
 would next dress himself; occasionally, however, 
 breaking forth from the bed-room, to know whether 
 I “ stuck.” This being pretty often the case, his 
 interruptions were not few. His choler would 
 sometimes rise at my stupidity, but it speedily 
 evaporated through the long-used vent-hole, “ God 
 bless me, the man.” By the bye, Mr. Reader, if 
 you should ever accustom yourself to tuition in 
 the abstract sciences, unless you happen to be Job 
 himself (and I don’t think that likely), you will 
 find it necessary to adopt some such other venti- 
 lator. But, as I left Mr. Brass at his toilet, he 
 is by this time, I suppose, fully caparisoned. At 
 it we used to go when together at the table with 
 6C the speed of thought’’ — that is as fast as my 
 
PRIVATE TUTOR. 
 
 173 
 
 understanding would carry me. Many were the 
 good things T received from him, u written out,” 
 in the clearest intelligible style possible, which, 
 being unwilling that such generous high-minded 
 conduct on the part of Mr. Brass should fall 
 upon me solely, as regularly as I received his 
 tit-bits, so often did I “ cram v them into the man 
 with the wonderful memory . 
 
 I cannot let slip this opportunity of relating 
 another anecdote of this excellent and clever man. 
 Whenever, during his college convivialities, he by 
 chance got a little disguised (which was not 
 oftener than once or twice a Term that I know of), 
 roaming about the grass-plots he would “ let the 
 soft out,” avowing most frankly his condition at 
 Richmond, in Yorkshire, and concluding with a 
 magnificent eulogium upon “ Old Trinity,” for 
 having given him Honours, a Scholarship, and 
 Fellowship, and for being the only institution in 
 the world, where true learning is of no country, 
 rank, or condition. 
 
 A Mr. Buxton, whom we used to call Jedediah, 
 in allusion to the celebrated person so called, was 
 now about to quit his rooms in the cloisters. These 
 I applied for, and leaving my little round-house, 
 which I forsook, merely because it consisted of 
 
174 
 
 PROSPECTS. 
 
 but one apartment for the several purposes of gyp- 
 room, parlour, drawing-room, and bed-room, I 
 migrated to the first stair-case in the right hand 
 Cloister of Neville’s Court. These rooms, although 
 small, were a palace compared with the tower I 
 had just abandoned. Although not so lofty also 
 as that very elevated structure, from them I had 
 much more extensive and agreeable prospects. 
 Wide open to my view lay the walks of St. 
 John’s and Trinity, the Cam winding its devious 
 way down to Ely ; in the distance that vast Tu- 
 mulus of the Romans called Castle Hill ; and close 
 under my window, the Master’s gardens and the 
 Fellows’ bowling-green. Many hours of pleasur- 
 able recreation have I and my friends bewildered 
 over these scenes. The sweet and ever amiable 
 daughters of Dr. Mansel, bishop of Bristol, and 
 Master of the College, in their playful and lamb- 
 like antics, whilst meandering the beautiful shrub- 
 beries of the garden — their affectionate fondling 
 with the fine venerable old widower, I oft mused 
 upon, with feelings of exquisite sympathy, deluding 
 myself even into the reverie of being an actual 
 participator of their elegant and tender endear- 
 ments. Miss Fanny’s tricks and fantasies were, 
 like herself, strikingly pretty and bewitching. In 
 
PATRONAGE. 
 
 175 
 
 these apartments, I had, indeed, not only the 
 friendship of my dear defunct authors, and my 
 fellow-students, but, moreover, what many of the 
 latter would have given worlds for, the society, as 
 it were, of the fairer part of one of the most lovely 
 and interesting families in the kingdom. The 
 greatest drawback to college-life, is this lack of the 
 society of virtuous females. 
 
 With prospects like these continually before me, 
 I sought the still brighter ones in the lands of 
 literary fame. I studied intensely ; seldom accepted 
 invitations to dine, wine, or sup ; and was pretty 
 regular in all my college duties. The consequence of 
 all which, was so satisfactory a progress in my pre- 
 parations for the June Examination, as pleasingly 
 to remind me of the Commemoration-day. These 
 exertions had also another satisfactory result. They 
 attracted the notice, and secured the patronage of 
 many eminent and worthy members of the college. 
 The Vice-Master, Dr. Renouard, honoured me with 
 his friendly approbation, and shewed substantial 
 proofs of it, in procuring me an annual exhibition, 
 appropriated to students from the Grammar- 
 School at which I had been last educated. This 
 having been unclaimed for some years, I had a 
 good round sum placed in the three per cents, to 
 
176 
 
 PATRONAGE. 
 
 receive immediately.* Mr. Sharpe also did me the 
 signal service of procuring from a wealthy anony- 
 mous friend of his (I half suspect it came direct 
 from himself), an annuity during my undergra- 
 duateship, of thirty pounds, and also introduced 
 me to some worthy and clever men, Tutors and 
 Lecturers of other colleges, from whose kindness and 
 affability, in allowing me the run of their libraries 
 and tutorial MSS. I derived much valuable assis- 
 tance. This gentleman is, of all the persons I 
 have had to do with in the struggles of life, the 
 most amiable in private — the most conscientious in 
 
 * I did not then sell out, but waited until the long 
 vacation, when, being in London, and meeting the Doctor 
 at Hutton’s great sale of mathematical books, we trudged 
 away to a broker’s for that purpose. On the road I had 
 much divertisement and instruction from this singular 
 character. Falling in with two or three thousand charity 
 children going to St. Paul’s, it so embarrassed and amused 
 the worthy old toddler, that my risible nerves were 
 constantly in action. He also took me to several emi- 
 nent individuals, amongst whom was Dolland in St. 
 Paul’s Church-yard, advising me, should I ever become a 
 star-gazer to purchase my telescopes of him — told me 
 many anecdotes of the great inventor of the Achromatic 
 glasses, &c., one of which was connected with the place 
 where he breeds his spiders to spin out for him the threads 
 dividing the lenses of his instruments. 
 
PATRONAGE, 
 
 177 
 
 the public discharge of his sacred functions — the 
 most unostentatiously generous and profuse in 
 kind actions — in short, the best man. “ Gentle- 
 man Peacock,” as he was called, by no misnomer, 
 also did me much kind service. In a word, I dis- 
 covered very shortly the important truth, that if a 
 man exhibit a strong desire to distinguish himself 
 and an intellect vigorous enough to render his 
 exertions available , there is scarcely a Fellow of 
 Trinity who will not hold out a helping hand— 
 who will not strive hard to make him one of them. 
 
 Pleasant and retired as were these apartments, 
 and unremitting as were my studies, a month or 
 two had elapsed ere I was perfectly at my ease. 
 A Fellow-Commoner in the rooms below, having, 
 or being unwilling to have, no better occupation, 
 from morn till midnight, amused himself, hut 
 greatly misamused others, in scraping his initiations 
 on the violoncello. Whenever engaged upon a 
 light, airy subject, I heeded not his screech-owl- 
 ings ; but the moment a perplexity arose, requiring 
 the energies of the mind united, then, indeed, 
 losing sight of the impotency of my own reasoning 
 faculties, and listening to every groan of the 
 instrument, I pronounced it an intolerable nuisance. 
 To remove it I devised several expedients. I 
 tol. j. n 
 
178 
 
 NUISANCES. 
 
 the gentleman a Valentine, descanting, in verses 
 not very courteous or musical to his ear, upon the 
 “ Bass Fiddle, and Baser Fiddler/’ but all would 
 not do. Thus continuing to torment the Cat-gut, 
 he evinced no bowels of compassion, as a Johnian 
 would pun it, for his neighbours. At length a 
 light coming across me that his chimney held 
 communication with mine, and the fact being 
 clearly ascertained, whenever he fell a scraping, I 
 used to stuff the head of an old broom into the 
 hole, thereby putting an end to the said communi- 
 cation and sending back the smoke from whence it 
 came. This having no other vent, speedily “ spoilt 
 his fiddling, ” obliging him first, to open windows, 
 and presently afterwards to run out with cap and 
 gown to other men’s rooms. The stoppage of 
 smoke and music being repeated whenever the 
 renewal of the latter was attempted, the empty- 
 bottle soon got other quarters, (thinking, no doubt, 
 the place was haunted,) and I a better neighbour. 
 
 By this time, the society I had formed was 
 becoming rather too numerous to be useful. I had 
 good-naturedly admitted into my coterie gay non- 
 reading men, as well as such as by their conversa- 
 tion were capable of communicating to me the 
 ideas they had themselves acquired by labours 
 
NUISANCES. 
 
 179 
 
 similar to my own. The latter had neither time 
 nor money to squander away, but of learning, the 
 more profuse they were, the more it reciprocated 
 back to them, accumulating on the way like a 
 snow-ball. The gay-men not only ruin themselves 
 and their parents, but are indirectly the cause of 
 it to those, in many instances, who, but for them, 
 would never diverge from the way to wealth, fame, 
 and happiness. On one occasion, only, during the 
 first three Terms, was I seduced into any irregu* 
 larity. Calling one day, upon that gay, dissipated 
 and reckless county-man of mine, Tom M — - — d 
 at his rooms at old Newby’s, Thomas having just 
 received some hampers of wine from his papa, 
 insisted on our cracking a bottle by way of a 
 sample. But being unseasoned to libations so 
 potent, the first bottle so much worked upwards, 
 deranging that rudder of the man, reason, that I 
 lost all power of resistance, the wicked fellow 
 pouring the wine into me ad libitum . 
 
 Without going into a detail of the consequences, 
 which, as Jemmy Wood once said of a certain 
 agreeable prescription, made him by his friend, Sir 
 Isaac Pennington, were “ beastly,” I shall “ cut ” 
 the subject, by saying, such murderers of time and 
 n 2 
 
180 
 
 SOCIETY. 
 
 health, for a long time afterwards, I shunned as 
 I would an assassin. 
 
 The society I now cultivated was worth the 
 trouble. A community of feelings and prospects 
 produced in many instances the strongest attach- 
 ments, especially between those whose interests 
 would not directly clash. At table, at Lectures, 
 and at Chapel, wherever we assembled, the one 
 had always something diverting or instructive to 
 tell the other. Thus by mixing with other labourers 
 in the field of science, or literature, you avail 
 yourself even of their industry. You become one 
 of a joint-stock- company, (not such as the projected 
 cockney college promises to be, wherein the social 
 meetings here spoken of can never take place,) but 
 calculated to produce to each individual composing 
 it, just as many times the treasure he alone could 
 gather, as there are members. This condensation 
 of time, labour, and intellect, must necessarily 
 result to societies friendly and communicative, 
 thus constituted. On this plan was mine formed, 
 and such to me were the consequences. We 
 formed, as it were, an atmosphere of knowledge, 
 giving health and strength to the mind of every 
 one, breathing freely of it. The “ gay-men/’ even. 
 
TRINITY FELLOWS. 
 
 181 
 
 never stumble upon it without being mentally 
 invigorated. The company of which I was a mem- 
 ber, although now scattered abroad throughout the 
 kingdom — one half-way to a bishoprick— another 
 on the road to succeed the lord chancellor, and so 
 on-^-for a considerable time, proceeded very prosper- 
 ously, and ultimately separated only with the view 
 of circulating their treasures throughout the 
 empire. 
 
 On some few occasions, about this time, (rare 
 honour for “ a man of my standing” was it), I was by 
 Mr. Peacock introduced to parties consisting of 
 F ello ws of the college. Every word spoken by them 
 was eagerly listened to on my part, and of course 
 I obtruded nothing from my own head, then com- 
 paratively empty. As on this occasion, so through- 
 out my life, I have always had a stronger love of 
 learning than of teaching. With merely one friend 
 I can talk as much as he, be he who he may ; but 
 bring me into contact with more, and you may 
 open my ears indeed, but close my lips. I have 
 ever entertained the idea, that if you have any 
 thing valuable to communicate, you need not be 
 anxious to spout it in company, except the conver- 
 sation would flag without it — but publish it. The 
 conversation of the Fellows of Trinity, known to 
 
182 
 
 FAGGING. 
 
 be the most learned body of men, taken collectively, 
 in the world, is precisely of this class, and they 
 would do the public most signal service were they 
 oftener to go to press with their knowledge. This 
 is not to be expected, however, it being something 
 of a phenomenon to see independent Literati turn- 
 ing from the luxury of learning to the drudgery 
 of scribbling. 
 
 This second Term having elapsed, the Easter 
 vacation commenced, which, however, proved no 
 holiday for me. Still bent upon being some- 
 body, the way thereunto through First-Classes, 
 Scholarships, and Fellowships, being clearly wide 
 open to me, my only delight consisted in reading 
 all the books that could, in the slightest degree, 
 perform the office of a guide. I read ; I conversed 
 with my seniors; I borrowed their books and their 
 MSS. ; in short, I gleaned knowledge from every 
 field I could get at, in some of which had been 
 let fall many a handful. Brighter and brighter 
 still grew my prospects, my friends increasing both 
 in number and means to serve me, so that the in- 
 ducements to remain in college during the vacation 
 greatly preponderated over my desire to visit my 
 friends in the country. I just ran up to town, 
 indeed, to get cash out of the funds, as I have al- 
 
BIBLIOMANIACS. 
 
 183 
 
 ready intimated, but London, with all its wonders, 
 containing for one man of learning ten thousand 
 ignoramuses, and these “ needles in a bottle of 
 hay’* rather uncomeatable, I soon turned my back 
 upon it for Cambridge. Quickly as run the 
 Cambridge coaches, so eagerly went my thoughts 
 towards my snug retreat in the Cloisters of Trinity, 
 that the Fly was but a snail in my imagination. 
 
 This vacation being for only a fortnight, very 
 few men “ went down.” The consequence of 
 which, to me, was considerable inconvenience as 
 to books from the Libraries. At the hour of 
 ten, on the first day of the opening of Trinity 
 Library, I found the entrance in the Cloisters 
 beset by an ocean of pale countenances undulating 
 to and fro with each succeeding effort to get fore* 
 most. Immediately the doors flew open in rushed 
 the torrent, fifty perhaps wanting the same iden- 
 tical book. Such was the eagerness displayed by 
 all, that some tripped up in ascending the lofty 
 stairs, others stumbled over them, caps and gowns 
 flying in most irreverent unacademical confusion. 
 u But necessity has no law,” and 66 cares not a fig 
 for fine feathers.” Books many wanted I, but 
 being short-legged and weak-muscled, brought up 
 just in time to meet them on their way out of the 
 Library. 
 
184 
 
 books. 
 
 A sad drawback was this likely to be. Ths 
 Subjects for Lectures in the Third Term, were 
 the Eighth Muse of Herodotus, and Plane Trigo- 
 nometry. Woodhouse’s excellent book on Trigo- 
 nometry, although a compilation from the French 
 authors, and the first of the “ Neto System” in- 
 troduced by this distinguished Mathematician, I 
 purchased forthwit h for a few shillings. But long 
 as I mused with Thalia, as to the expense of 
 forming an intimate acquaintance with her, the 
 jade made me “ down on the nailj” aye, twenty good 
 pounds and upwards. LarcheFs Commentary was 
 indispensably necessary, as containing so much 
 valuable criticism, and more valuable dissertation 
 on the geography of the places, and chronology of 
 the events described by this Father of History. 
 But so devoted was my mihd, and consequently 
 my purse, to the thing, that every work likely to 
 aid me was at all hazards either bought or 
 borrowed. Professor Monk lent his assistance 
 with his Usual politeness, and I was also indebted 
 to some others, although in a less degree. 
 
 Well, Lectures again commence, and proceed 
 much as before. The weather being fine, and the 
 spring somewhat advanced, maugre 6 4 Imposi- 
 tions,” 66 Puttings out of Sizings and Commons” 
 
FALLING OFF AT LECTURES. 185 
 
 (by the way, the latter is a term not oft to be pro- 
 nounced in hot weather), the loungers of the Lec- 
 ture-rooms, more particularly those of the Mathe- 
 matical, do present but a scantling of a muster. 
 Some are off to Newmarket a-la- tandem ; others 
 are barouching to Bury*, Huntingdon, or Col- 
 chester, to kick up a row at the ball ; a third party 
 have trundled away to Chesterton* to learn the 
 practical science of billiards ; a fourth gone a 
 
 * A beautiful romantic village about two miles 
 from Cambridge, on the banks of the Cam. It being 
 just out of the jurisdiction of the University, billiard 
 tables, which are permitted in the limits to the M. A. 
 / class only, are here set up for the use of the junior orders 
 of Gownsmen. At Oxford there are ho such foolish re- 
 strictions. There are tables all over the town, the only 
 control exercised over them by the University, being to 
 have them closed like Christ Church, when u they hear 
 the Mighty Tom . 77 If Cambridge would take a leaf out 
 of her sister s book, and permit tables to be ereeted, with 
 the proviso, that every night they close at the same given 
 hour, the evils of gaming would be greatly diminished. 
 Parties sometimes, as the system now goes, remain playing 
 day and night for half a week at a time, cutting chapel, 
 and all other duties, and, consequently, not only losing 
 their time and money, but also getting into scrapes with 
 the Dean, the Lecturer, and the Master. 
 
186 
 
 GAY-MEN. 
 
 u boating’’ to Cherry Hinton, Fen Ditton, or 
 Grantchester, there to u swing on a gate all day 
 and eat fat bacon” with the clodpoles, until, kissing 
 the pretty rustic maidens, their sweethearts go 
 near to skewer them with the pitchforks, and 
 actually break their knowledge -boxes and, to 
 
 come nearer home, a fifth cricketing on Parker’s 
 Piece, or racketing away in the Tennis Court. 
 The sons of indolence being thus engaged, the 
 Lecture-rooms are refined from the dross — from 
 the empty bottles — from “ the skim and refuge,” 
 as I may say with Tabitha, of the college, and 
 there now remain but sterling men of metal. 
 
 Without troubling the reader with Trigono- 
 metry, by showing him how to measure the alti- 
 tude of St. Paul’s at the distance of twenty miles 
 from it — how to get at the depth of a well without 
 sounding it — to ascertain the breadth of a river 
 whilst musing along one of its margins, suffice it 
 to say, Mr. Brown convinced us that the processes 
 
 * Many of these affrays occur in the villages. On one 
 occasion, so worsted and maltreated were the Gownsmen, 
 that a renewal of hostilities took place soon after, to the 
 total rout and discomfiture of the raws, full fifty Gownsmen 
 having rallied round the enemy, both by sea and land. A 
 scene this to be witnessed — not described. 
 
FEVER. 
 
 187 
 
 of calculation effecting these wonders were sub- 
 stantial truths and “ very good.” As to the en- 
 tertaining novel of Herodotus, at least as true as 
 those other historical ones by the Great Unknown, 
 he either has read it, or ought so to have done. 
 
 The Lectures had proceeded but a short time, 
 when a fever breaking out at St. John’s and Jesus, 
 threw the whole University into a sweat, and 
 after two or three Gownsmen had gone aloft , the 
 parents of the rest fell into such a fluster as threw 
 the whole kingdom into a fermentation. Letters 
 by loads reached the tutors of all colleges, instantly 
 demanding, alive or dead, the restoration of their 
 offspring ; when the Caput laying their heads in 
 full conclave together, those of the faculty came 
 to the wise conclusion, that the contagion was 
 neither the chick-pox, small-pox, or the kci r 
 VZo\riv fever, but one calculated at the same time 
 to devastate the colleges and their own particular 
 pockets. Whereupon a “ Grace passed,” complying 
 with the demands from the country. Down flew 
 the Gownsmen, ninety-nine in a hundred, of all 
 ranks and ages, with more feverish precipitation 
 than Newton* from the plague. 
 
 * All the world has been told, that to a plague in Cam- 
 bridge is due the sublimest of all discoveries, the law ac« 
 
188 
 
 FEVER. 
 
 For my part, conceiving the University more 
 “ frightened than hurt,” and that in so large a 
 body of youths, many of whom indulging in every 
 excess, might have greatly impaired their unes- 
 tablished constitutions, it appeared nothing extra- 
 ordinary that two at the same time should be 
 found “ diseased. ,> I would not budge an inch, 
 although seriously remonstrated with by the 
 Tutor for my obstinacy. A few others entertained 
 the same views of the false alarm, and we yet 
 mustered a society, on a small scale indeed, but 
 yet very select we opined, seeing that we had seen 
 through the fog, or, at all events, were bold 
 enough to encounter it. The snobs were unani- 
 mously of the same opinion, u it being as how” 
 they would lose by the Grace some thousands per 
 diem. Many of them, amongst whom was the 
 most knowing of them all — Newby, our chapel 
 clerk — asserted in direct terms, that although 
 the Gownsmen certainly died, yet the “ Cam- 
 
 cording to which every particle of matter gravitates 
 towards every other particle. It drove Newton down 
 into Lincolnshire, under an apple-tree, where the fall of 
 an apple, (probably like the tortoise on the head of 
 iEchylus, giving him a crack on the pate,) set it to work 
 to divine the cause of such an effect. 
 
CONSEQUENCES OF THE FEVER. 189 
 
 bridge Fever'’ was got up by a knot of gay men, 
 so inextricably involved in every way with the 
 authorities, that had not the whole University 
 been Rusticated, they themselves must have been 
 Expelled. Be this as it may, the result to the 
 tradesmen was deplorable enough. The whole 
 town being dependent entirely upon the Gown, 
 bankruptcies were frequent for some time after- 
 wards. 
 
 The ills resulting from “ The Fever” to the town, 
 were perhaps not more serious than to the Univer- 
 sity. Although the few students that remained dis- 
 played heroism enough in the cause of literature, to 
 stand the risk of a possible attack from the fever, 
 yet were they not so firm and united against a 
 more dangerous and potent enemy, Indolence. 
 Having no June Examination, during this year, 
 to prepare for — honours and prizes having vanished 
 from before them, not entirely, but yet into the 
 dim distance of more than a twelvemonth — all of 
 us became by degrees as united in laziness, as we 
 priorly had been in industry. 
 
 During the first week or fortnight after the 
 dissolution, we proceeded nearly as usual, from the 
 momentum the great bodies had acquired, (as a 
 Mathematician would, and as any other person 
 
190 
 
 TOWN SOCIETY. 
 
 would, if he could — say) but then we must be 
 taking an airing round the suburbs — we must 
 commence a promenading of the streets to be gazed 
 at by the fair ones, who were now to make the 
 most of the few of us yet remaining to them as 
 did the Roman ladies on a similar emergency — * 
 and, finally, the serenading system must have a 
 beginning- To three respectablish families, I and 
 my friend, the man with the ivonderful memory , 
 contrived to introduce ourselves, and in their 
 society beguiled away much valuable time, one 
 evening going to tea — another to tea and sand- 
 wiches — another to tea, sandwiches, and quadrilles 
 — another to tea, sandwiches, quadrilles, and 
 breakfast — another to tea, sandwiches, quadrilles, 
 breakfast, and dinner, and so on ; it being rather 
 adviseable to enter college before twelve, or to stay 
 out all night, bribing the bed-maker next morning 
 not to peach. The gates closed every night at 
 ten, but nevertheless we might remain out up to 
 twelve on payment of a small fine, which was 
 levied in th* 3 weekly bills. After . twelve, all 
 comers-in were put down by “ David, the porter' 
 (perhaps it’s now “ Solomon, the porter”), into 
 the black-book, which leads to a remonstrance — - 
 sometimes, to an Imposition. Into this volume I 
 
191 
 
 “ CUTTING GATES. 
 
 never entered. My friend with the wonderful 
 memory having also some knack at invention, dis- 
 covered, after a time, that there was one hole 
 amongst the hundreds in the grated windows 
 under the library, looking out to the river and the 
 walks, that was about a square inch larger than 
 the others. Like all wise philosophers, he set 
 about making the most of his discovery. One 
 night three of us having been visiting till four, 
 and not relishing any more of it, and much less 
 the risk of an entry into the ledger at the porter’s 
 lodge, M. conducted us round to the back of the 
 walks which we first invaded, climbing over the lofty 
 iron gates at the entrance of the long avenue of limes 
 leading to the bridge, and having arrived at the other 
 side of the said identical hole (if a hole can be said to 
 have two sides — a fine subject for the schools and 
 Metaphysicians that), he commenced a first attempt 
 to insinuate himself through it. Aided by our 
 advice, as well as pushes, he succeeded so far as 
 to stick as fast as though he were in a blacksmith’s 
 vice. In the utmost consternation at the conse- 
 quences of detection, which now seemed inevitable, 
 we pulled him and pushed him for a full half-hour, 
 and were on the road for a blacksmith to remove 
 the bars, when by one mighty effort of his own he 
 
192 “ CUTTING GATES.” 
 
 extricated himself, to the infinite joy of the whole 
 trio. Another attempt, however, he made, and 
 by putting through one arm only along with the 
 head, he slipt through with much the same ease 
 that a bullock does into the interior of a Boa Con- 
 strictor. Being of smaller dimensions about the 
 shoulders we passed with comparative facility. 
 The man with the wonderful memory will never 
 forget this escape, but may ever exclaim with the 
 poet, 
 
 Ah, me, what perils do environ 
 The man that meddles with cold iron.” 
 
 Through this creep-hole many a man besides 
 the great inventor himself has evaded the direful 
 consequences of u coming in late.” My plan 
 being to tell all I know, I feel assured the rulers 
 of Trinity will take no unhandsome advantage of 
 my communications, to the inconvenience and dis- 
 comfort of the present generation. If, however, 
 they should attempt such treatment, success is by 
 no means a certainty, as I much doubt me whe- 
 ther they can hit upon the obnoxious hole in 
 question. 
 
 Another egress I could mention, through which 
 it is said, many years ago, the same party, sallying 
 
SECOND YEAH. 
 
 183 
 
 out with the bottles they had just been converting 
 into Fellow-commoners, as weapons, slew in battle 
 one of the Townsmen* — but the subject makes 
 me nervous. 
 
 This sort of insanity was continued, with but 
 few lucid intervals, for the whole of the period be- 
 tween the Fever and the end of the Long Vacation 
 in October. About the twentieth of that month, 
 the coaches from all parts were bringing back to 
 us the old faces they had run off with in such a 
 fright, and also some hundreds of new ones, the 
 property of as many Freshmen, all gazing as they 
 entered, with much the like simple wonderment, 
 I perceived, that I myself had exhibited to the 
 amusement of the Seniors, just that day twelve- 
 month. Some varieties there were in the blunders 
 of the Freshmen, but not many worth relating. 
 Two sucking Johnians (brothers, God bless them !) 
 
 * Up to this period, the poor Fellow-commoners had 
 all the dirty work of bruising to themselves, it would ap- 
 pear. But the affair coming before a jury, the practice 
 was condemned, although the Gownsman escaped the 
 capital punishment. One of my schoolmasters, who was 
 one of the number, not only showed me the way into 
 college, but, visiting me in my third year, showed me this 
 hole, thereby telling me how to get out of College* 
 
 VOL. I. 
 
 O 
 
194 
 
 SECOND YEAH. 
 
 had been humbugged, by some wicked old boar of 
 their college, into a belief, that on the first day it 
 was necessary for them, in order to show themselves 
 to the University officers, to go in surplices (other 
 men having gowns only), the whole round of the 
 college chapels. Pursuant to which, sucking it 
 all in, the innocent squeakers came to Trinity 
 Chapel, seating themselves with such composure 
 of manner and countenance as indicated most 
 plainly they believed all was right. But just 
 as they were beginning to feel quite at home, 
 or rather to prefer the 44 Kennel” to their 
 own 64 Stye/’ that old 44 Bull-dog,” the vice- 
 master, sent orders to Newby to drive them out. 
 
 Not to dwell upon these trifles, for which, being 
 now a Junior Soph, I consider myself too impor- 
 tant, having at any rate one class of men beneath 
 me, the 44 Second Year” of my 44 Under-Graduate- 
 ship” had now fairly commenced. The subjects for 
 Lectures for the First Term being known, viz. 
 in Classics, the Seventh Book of Thucydides — in 
 Mathematics, the extensive and interesting one of 
 Statics and Dynamics- — and the Library opening 
 for the Term some days before the influx of 
 Gownsmen, the few that had remained in college 
 were enabled to get out such books as they wanted. 
 
PREPARATIONS. 
 
 195 
 
 I laid hold of Duker’s Thucydides with some dif- 
 ficulty, and a number of books relating to the 
 Peloponnesian War, with Lexicons and other 
 helps. For the Mathematical department, I 
 bought Wood ; and the Libraries furnished me 
 with Parkinson, Gregory, and some others. Mr. 
 Brass's excellent lessons, and the surprising 
 powers and uses of Trigonometry, had given me, 
 by this time, a most decided preference to the 
 study of the sciences. I therefore laid hold of all 
 the books likely to contain any portion of their 
 boundless treasures. To complete myself in the 
 First Part of Algebra, in which I now saw my 
 deficiencies, I purchased Bland, and some others. 
 Woodhouse in Trigonometry, was all complete in 
 himself. Bridge's Mechanics for Problems I also 
 looked over, along with Wood’s more scientific 
 arrangement of the subject. In short, guided by 
 a number of Examination Papers and MSS. of 
 those above me (a sort of rare knowledge floating 
 about the University and no where else), I picked 
 and culled every thing that resembled these speci- 
 mens. The Classical subject had also due attention 
 paid to it. So elegant an author as Thucydides, 
 who can peruse without pleasure ? My mind, 
 however, had undergone such a revolution, that 
 
195 
 
 TASTES. 
 
 comparatively speaking, he was neglected. The 
 doctrines of equilibrium and force, I could foresee, 
 would lead, if properly pursued, to such interesting 
 and ample results, that my soul was weaned in a mea- 
 sure from the one study to the other. The more I 
 read in Mathematics the more I rioted in the 
 luxury of them, and could now bear a part with 
 my friend Pope, in any fresh ecstatics he might 
 have exhibited, even in that dullest (because of it& 
 great difficulty in comparison with its uses), of all 
 the Branches — Conic Sections. 
 
 Pope, indeed, and myself had many a scientific 
 tete-a-tete at this time — but it was generally in 
 the “ working of Problems,” for which exercise, 
 it being highly agreeable to one’s feelings to be 
 able to do something more than merely read and 
 understand the doings of others, I always have 
 cherished a particular fondness. I felt, and know 
 it for a truth, that without much exertion of this 
 kind, depending mainly upon one’s own intellectual 
 resources, a subject can never be thoroughly probed 
 to the bottom. A thousand ideas spring up in 
 the mind, as you thus put it into action, which an 
 author cannot even suggest, so as to compress his 
 matter into any reasonable compass. 
 
 A person may be able to perform the music of 
 
ORIGINALITY. 
 
 197 
 
 the greatest composers with exquisite shill and ac- 
 curacy, and yet, unless this same person has him- 
 self laboured at compositions, a thousand beauties 
 in science and genius will escape his observation. 
 I assert it, without fear of contradiction, that 
 Madame Catalan!, with all her wonderful execu- 
 tion and taste, sings no fine piece of music, in 
 which numerous traits of original conception are 
 not beyond the power of her penetration. She, 
 and all other syrens who merely warble the com- 
 positions of others, may not inaptly be likened 
 unto a cremona fiddle, which has many a fine tune 
 in it ; but then who can bring them out ? Why 
 the composer, and the composer only. Just so is 
 it with the whole round of the sciences, and in an 
 especial degree do these remarks apply to the most 
 intricate of them— the Mathematics. I have 
 known many instances wherein men of sound un- 
 derstandings, after learning, so as to u write out” 
 the entire “ book work” of all the branches, stick 
 fast at the very first Deduction or Problem which 
 required the use of the inventive faculties. Some 
 few have no such powers of the mind, and yet can 
 understand what they read. But others there are, 
 to whom nature has been more liberal, who suffer- 
 ing them to lie dormant, avail themselves but 
 
198 
 
 LECTURES. 
 
 little of her bounty. To such students 1 address 
 myself, in recommending to their attention the 
 above experience. 
 
 Those who have seen, heard, felt, smelt, and 
 tasted much— that is, made use of their senses, 
 have usually something to say for themselves, if 
 not for others . Whenever it occurs to me that I 
 can digress from my narrative for the benefit of 
 my reader, I shall take that liberty. 
 
 The Lectures this term were still more thinly 
 attended than ever, although there yet remained a 
 good sprinkling of the Reading Men. The Non- 
 reading Men now appeared to have rendered their 
 presence a sort of forlorn hope with the Lecturers, 
 for Impositions had become much less frequent 
 than formerly. Rut we could do as well without 
 as with them — “ tam bene sine quam cum f as 
 Professor Farish had it in the schools. 
 
 I was too well employed now to relapse into the 
 indolent fooleries of the Long Vacation, but yet 
 my exertions had much relaxed from the severity 
 of my Freshman’s Year. Such discipline was, in 
 fact, too rigid for the health of body and mind long 
 to last. Late hours and little exercise (I could 
 never walk out, merely for walkingVsake, not even 
 with a friend) had shaken my nerves to such a 
 
DECLAMATIONS. 
 
 199 
 
 degree, that they were visibly affected. I now 
 made up my mind, if possible, to restore them to 
 their former tone, by keeping better hours, and by 
 not studying more than eight hours a day upon 
 an average, and kept my resolution, with a few 
 deviations. 
 
 In the Second Year each man has to compose 
 two Declamations, one in Latin, and the other in 
 English, upon some historical subject generally ; 
 but, occasionally, in the other branches of polite 
 literature. This he has to deliver a fortnight 
 afterwards in the chapel, immediately after Evening 
 Prayers, before the Dean, Head- Lecturer and all 
 such others as happen to be present, and against 
 an opponent right opposite. It is usually consi- 
 dered a bore, this Declaiming, not only to the 
 Declaimer himself, but also to the numerous 
 audience — the former testifying the same by either 
 gabbling it over like a goose, if he happen to be 
 in nerve, or else bungling away as one afflicted 
 with the palsy — and the latter evincing their im- 
 patience to be off, by stamping the hoof like so many 
 horses. Now and then, indeed, we have a Thel- 
 
 * An officer who superintends, together with the Sub- 
 lecturer and four Examiners, the General Examinations. 
 
200 
 
 DECLAMATIONS. 
 
 wall, a Sheridan, or some other sprout of an orator, 
 who strains hard for a hearing, but there’s little 
 or no respect for even these wordy persons, after 
 the first ten minutes. The Reading Men are 
 generally much annoyed at the interruption in 
 their studies caused by these Declamations, and 
 the Non -reading Men, poor fellows ! are generally 
 so incompetent themselves to write, that they buy, 
 beg, or borrow, the ideas of others. By them the 
 vulgar saying, “ What will you take for your 
 thoughts?” is not only often said, but said in 
 earnest. The far-famed Jemmy Gordon (who was 
 really an extraordinary character, and had been, 
 prior to his love-crossings, possessed of fine abili- 
 ties), for many years handsomely subsisted upon 
 such applications. Now, as at school, those that 
 work are obliged to aid those that will not work. 
 Many an extra-hour have I expended in these 
 services. On one occasion, I recollect, an old 
 school-fellow of Jesus having just swopped away 
 his name for “ House and Land,” and thereupon 
 resolved (disregarding the old Proverb), to cut 
 <c Learning,” craved my assistance. I gave him 
 an off-hand sort of thing, which, however, at that 
 small college, unluckily bore away the prize. I 
 say unluckily, because it led to an exposure of the 
 
DECLAMATIONS. 
 
 201 
 
 system, as well as the fact, that the Jesuits were 
 so lazy and riotous, as never to compose themselves. 
 Well, but this is not all. My friend having at- 
 tained this honour, as unexpected by him as 
 would have been a visit from his benefactor to 
 get back his name and estates again, was sent for 
 by the Dean of his college, who began loading 
 Mr. B. (formerly Mr. S.) with a profusion of the 
 customary compliments. But Mr. B., being an 
 honest man, and wanting neither fame nor money, 
 told a true story. The Dean suppressed his 
 eulogiums, and having delivered himself of a repri- 
 mand, sent for the gentleman who stood next in 
 the list. There the worthy Dean met with the 
 same ludicrous disappointment, on being informed 
 that Mr. Waddington, of Trinity, had stood the 
 next gentleman's friend on the emergency. 
 Whereupon, not choosing further to go in exposing 
 the degeneracy of these modern Jesuits, he sent 
 the prize to the county gaol. 
 
 Although I occasionally thus “ lifted the lame 
 dog over the stile,” in the Declamation way, yet 
 so averse was I to the whole system, that the 
 Dean and Tutor could neither of them prevail 
 upon me to spout one. I represented to them the 
 derangement it would throw into my reading 
 
202 
 
 SPOUTING. 
 
 schemes — how far I should thus recede in my pre- 
 parations for the ensuing examination, and so on, 
 until they yielded, at last, from the downright 
 reasonableness of the thing. 
 
 In addition to the arguments used on this occa- 
 sion, many others, which then I declined urging 
 for obvious reasons, continually occurred to me. 
 I could not divest myself of a contempt for the 
 speechifications of a parcel of youths, as yet having 
 nothing to talk about. What sort of an oration 
 must that be, thought I, which a lad like myself, pos- 
 sessed of some crude knowledge, indeed, but yet so 
 unacquainted with life, with the springs and wires 
 of this puppet-show of a world, that nothing be- 
 yond books could be available, could possibly rake 
 together ? It’s nought but vanity — it’s beginning 
 at the wrong end of a thing ; first store your mind 
 with literature and science, and then you may 
 draw upon it — otherwise you may draw, and draw, 
 and draw, as much as you like, but you find no 
 effects — quoth I. 
 
 Now it so happened, that the boy-babblers of 
 my time were not content with the opportunities 
 afforded them by College Declamations, of voiding 
 their crudities, but conspired to form two regular 
 “ Spouting Societies/’ These two, however, soon 
 
203 
 
 “ THE UNION/* 
 
 after their creation, went to loggerheads, and con- 
 solidating into one mass of noisy ignorance, went 
 afterwards by the name of “ The Union Society 
 Several of my best friends, having the “ gift of the 
 gab,” were now so much taken by this concern, that 
 they not only became members, but made great 
 researches into the various departments of female 
 literature, reading all the soft elegant effeminacies 
 that they could lay hold of ; flattering themselves 
 into a hope of one day, by the poiver of eloquence 
 I suppose, of reaching the lofty eminence of a presi- 
 dency thereof, to the almost total abandonment of 
 such pursuits as alone could terminate in the sub- 
 stantial rewards and honours of the University. 
 This aberration from the proper path, I beheld for 
 some time with silent regret, but at length “ lifted 
 up my voice” against it, in the shape of an epistle 
 to Dr. Wood, the Vice-chancellor of the Univer- 
 sity. After giving a concise statement of my 
 views of the mischiefs inseparable from the Society, 
 I closed my letter by pointing out a few of the 
 victims of delusion themselves, as samples of the 
 whole lot. Jemmy Wood (I pity the man 
 who is too great for these diminutives) seeing 
 that the case was made out — that I had demon- 
 strated the existence of the evils I complained of, 
 
204 
 
 “ The union. 
 
 as clearly as any proposition in his Algebra* 
 Mechanics, or Optics, immediately acted upon it, 
 by sending the Public Orator, # and Proctors, 
 at the very next meeting, respectfully, but peremp- 
 torily, to disperse them. The great ones of the 
 “ Union” — the President, Secretary, and princi- 
 pal speech-makers were as thunderstruck as so 
 many Thistlewoods at the intrusion, and used all 
 the eloquence they possessed in defence, which, 
 many of them having much at stake (being 
 nobody out of the Society, although every body in 
 it), was doubtless very considerable. They remon- 
 strated by stating the important fact, that the 
 King, Church, and Constitution, were in no 
 danger from them, politics forming no part of 
 their discussions, and urged all sorts of desperate 
 reasons against their impending dissolution. They 
 even went so far as to go in deputation to the Vice- 
 chancellor himself, hoping their woe-begone phy- 
 siognomies might work upon his compasssion. 
 
 * This is an officer of the University, whose duties are, 
 amongst other things, to spout Latin Orations in the 
 Senate-house on all public occasions, such as the taking 
 of Degrees by Mandamus, &c. He is, as it were, the 
 mouth-piece of the University. 
 
205 
 
 " THE UNION.” 
 
 But the case was hopeless. Jemmy could com- 
 prehend a demonstration full readily, but had no 
 head for their mystifications. In short, he passed 
 sentence, and thus died the Union. 
 
 To three only, one of whom was Pope, of 
 Emanuel, did I ever unbosom myself of this 
 secret. Such was the shock produced throughout 
 the University by the event — the mortification of 
 the Orators, and disappointment of those aspiring 
 to that title — that most likely I should have felt 
 the consequences of that resentment had the thing 
 generally transpired. 
 
 In the fatal document, if I recollect aright, I 
 intimated that a club of the kind, for those who 
 have finished their academical career — the Fellows 
 and Bachelors, for instance — might be a useful 
 institution, and I am still of that opinion. It 
 would prepare them for the effective display of 
 their talents in society, as well as for the Pulpit, 
 Bar, or Senate. But when men have drunk deep 
 of learning, they are seldom so intoxicated with it 
 as to be ever disgorging it. “ Deep streams don’t 
 babble”. 
 
 The First Term of the Second Year had now 
 ceased, and the Commemoration Day had again 
 enlivened us, but not to the same degree as that 
 
208 SUBJECTS FOR LECTURES. 
 
 of the year preceding, — the presentation of prizes 
 being on a smaller scale, owing to the Fever having 
 superseded the General Examination. Again, 
 also, had the concerts tickled our listeners. By 
 the bye, I must here just hint that music, sweet 
 music, finds favour in our ears a little oftener than 
 once a year. Each Term we have concerts, for 
 two or three successive evenings, and at the close 
 of the Academical Year in July, oratorios in St. 
 Mary’s, concerts in the Senate-house, and other 
 rejoicings usually once in three years. But more 
 of this anon. 
 
 The subjects to be read the next Term were 
 now given out by the tutors. In Greek, or rather 
 Divinity, we had St. Luke ; along with this we 
 were required to cram Paley’s Moral Philosophy 
 and Evidences of Christianity, and also Locke on 
 the Human Understanding. In Mathematics, 
 the Second, Third, and Fourth Parts of Wood’s 
 Algebra and Spherical Trigonometry. The 
 libraries, especially that of Trinity and old Maps, 
 were now again ransacked of their copies of Camp- 
 bell on the Gospels, Beausobre on the New Testa- 
 ment (most excellent books these), Watts’s Scrip- 
 ture History, Yalpy’s New Testament, and many 
 other Expounders of Holy Writ. Garnier’s 
 
BOOKS. 
 
 207 
 
 Algebra and Analyse Algebrique, together with 
 Lacroix’s Algebra, and some others, and Cress- 
 well’s Spherics must be purchased. These addi- 
 tions to my library being made, again begins the 
 work of preparation for the Lectures of the 
 “ Second Term of the Second Year.” Much did 
 I cram, as usual, m both subjects — but especially 
 in the latter, which I now regarded with a fond- 
 ness approaching even to enthusiasm. Every 
 thing connected with the sciences was to me in- 
 valuable. Wood’s Treatise I much admired for 
 its elegance of style and matter, a character due 
 to all his works. Lacroix’s work, the best of its 
 kind in existence (like all his numerous other 
 productions), also gave me great satisfaction. 
 Gamier I found a great depot of valuables, but 
 rather deficient in perspicuity and arrangement. 
 None of these authors are original, but eminently 
 skilful compilers. For Problems or Deductions 
 my resources were the Diaries, Ley bourne’s Ma- 
 thematical Repository, Dodson’s Repository, and 
 some others, and all the Examination Papers I 
 could lay my hands upon. With these last con- 
 stantly on the table as a conductor, I traversed the 
 regions of knowledge, collecting at every step 
 something useful, and writing them out, generally 
 
208 
 
 CHARACTERS. 
 
 in better form I conceived, into a “ College 
 MS” 
 
 About this time, amongst other acquisitions of 
 the kind, I had the good fortune to form an inti* 
 macy with a man of very superior classical attain- 
 ments, synonymous with the place in London 
 where people dance upon nothing, although nei- 
 ther bom there, as many folks are upon the estates 
 bearing their own name, nor at all likely there to 
 make his exit. He was not quite so old as that 
 picturesque piece of scenery (full many a tree has 
 here been planted), but yet was he a Fifth-year Man, 
 reading hard for a Fellowship. I see I must un- 
 ravel the enigma— out of sheer fondness we used 
 to call him Old Bailey. Many a lift he gave me 
 in my Classicals, and I in return used to help him 
 over the Deductions from Euclid (of which he ex- 
 hibited a strong liking), and such other Mathe- 
 maticals as he ventured to dabble in. His helps, 
 however, greatly preponderated I am inclined to 
 think. When at Richmond, and long afterwards, the 
 famous Tate # used to pronounce him the very best 
 
 * This gentleman with great reason prides himself upon 
 the number of pupils he has initiated into Trinity Fellow- 
 ships. Some ten or twenty out of the sixty he lays claim 
 to, and yearly visiting them receives all due acknowledge- 
 
CHARACTERS. 
 
 209 
 
 of all the scholars he ever sent to Trinity. Tate’s 
 eulogium, however, as true as merited, spoke 
 little compared with the “ still small voices” of 
 his “ First Class Prizes,” “ Greek Medals, 1 ’ 
 “ Latin Medals,” “ Bachelor’s Prizes,” and 
 “ Scholarship.” 
 
 This man is so tall that he was also known by 
 the name of 66 Long Bailey.” Being scarcely 
 his half in length, I took special care seldom to 
 be seen walking with him, friendly as we were, 
 prognosticating with some acumen, (I apprehend) 
 that the same wicked ones would pair us together, 
 and say, There go Long Bailey and Short 
 
 .” The Greekists and Latinists may make 
 
 longs and shorts of us now, if it please them, as 
 long as they like, but being not quite so philo- 
 sophical in those days, I then avoided the dis- 
 agreeable, and “ that is the long and the short of 
 it.” With this intelligent fellow, many and 
 
 ment of the same, in the shape of the most liberal return 
 the college can make him. I have many times witnessed 
 the fine old man, surrounded by his grateful friends, laying 
 down the law to them whilst pacing up and down the 
 cloisters, as though they were still further in need of his 
 instructions. If u by their fruits ye may know them” be 
 a true position, as true is it that Tate’s School at Richmond, 
 in Yorkshire , is the very best in the kingdom. 
 
 VOL. I. P 
 
210 
 
 CHARACTERS. 
 
 agreeable were the evenings I spent at his rooms 
 in the Hostel, looking then towards the walks 
 and the stables, and now, I suppose, at the New 
 Court. Something had soured his mind to such 
 a degree that his friendships were not many, 
 although he appeared naturally of a social dispo» 
 sition. Although of long standing in the Uni- 
 versity, his acquaintances and friends were few 
 but select — if I may so say. Walker, “ the 
 Poet,” or “ Little Walker,” now Fellow of the 
 college, and one of the very best of them, in every 
 sense of the word, was one of them. This queer 
 (I mean odd, mind ye) little fellow was decidedly 
 the most eccentric character in the University in 
 these days, and also one of the most learned. 
 Educated at Eton, he had been well grounded in 
 classical knowledge, and had written a poem there, 
 of much merit for a boy, and even afterwards dis- 
 tinguished himself by the acquisition of several 
 honours in Trinity College, and in the Univer- 
 sity. You may have seen him, or, at least, may 
 now, if you’ll go and look, traversing the grass- 
 plots, u gobbling Greek” to himself, with great 
 animation, all the way, never making of his path a 
 regular curve or “ Line of beauty,” but ever and 
 anon turning sharp at right angles. Times too 
 
CHARACTERS. 
 
 211 
 
 many to mention have I laughed immoderately at 
 the comicality of his motions. In going to his 
 rooms in the Cloisters on the left, he used to walk 
 something like a crab, as if afraid of an attack in 
 the rearward-side of the body, or as though he 
 were making himself small in a duel, coasting his 
 way amongst the pillars until just opposite the 
 middle staircase (he was short-sighted), and then 
 bolting away in a sort of a hand-gallop, wringing 
 his hands by way of exercise, — at a real Euclidian 
 right angle. If you wish further to observe his 
 motions, you may either usher him safely into the 
 Fifth Court, or else follow him in a few mean- 
 derings along the streets. In the latter 1 pere- 
 grination you will observe him always in the 
 gutters, excepting a few aberrations, for the pur- 
 pose of playing a pit-a-pat upon the pate of some 
 little lousy urchin, whom he may espy out of the 
 same or in the opposite gutters; it being one of his 
 many excellent qualities to have a heart for all 
 little ones. You will also see him occasionally 
 give a stop so sudden, that should the said infant 
 have parted from a few of its animalculae, by the 
 shock would he “ spill” them, to take a peep at 
 the sun, for whom like the Persians he has also 
 room in his affections. The Philosopher Bentham 
 
 p 2 
 
212 
 
 CHARACTERS. 
 
 is wild enough in his movements, and in other 
 respects as eccentric as a man can well make him- 
 self, but the Poet Walker fairly outstrips him, 
 and yet there’s no affectation in it. In his dress 
 he is like other men exactly— neither a swell nor a 
 snob, but a gentleman. The tailor moulds out 
 his clay into any form that may suit, the Poet 
 himself being clearly indifferent about the 66 out- 
 ward man.” His mind, in short, is what “ the 
 Bard” chiefly concerns himself with, and this he 
 has fashioned and adorned most tastefully. He 
 possesses not, indeed, the strength of character of 
 a Thirl wall, or a Blomfield, or a Whewell, the 
 one having gone through, it is said, the entire list 
 of ancient authors three times in his under-gra- 
 duateship; the next having read the whole of 
 Eustathius’s Commentary on Homer, in his 
 Freshman’s Year; and the last having gone 
 through the Encyclopaedia Britannica, so as to 
 have the whole at his “ fingers’ ends” — mind ye 
 I don’t vouch for my authorities— but yet I make 
 bold to assert he has read more than any of the 
 trio, inasmuch as he is for ever reading. No 
 book can escape him. If he call upon you but 
 for a minute he has read half a page in the first 
 volume he can grapple with, be it the History of 
 
CHARACTERS. 
 
 213 
 
 Alexander the Great or of Tom Thumb the 
 Little, and from that half page it’s ten to one but 
 he extracts something to add to his stores. His 
 knowledge thus desultorily acquired, is exceed- 
 ingly various, but not so profound as it might have 
 been had a more regular course of study been pur- 
 sued; but yet start any subject in the Liters 
 Humaniores, in Latin or Greek literature, and he 
 will prove too deep for most people. Peculiarities 
 of many sorts are, in short, to be found in this 
 same “ Little Walker.” 
 
 In my descriptions of the persons of the Literati, 
 I shall not be so minute that, “ were they wanted,” 
 it would be easy to apprehend them. In the 
 first place, were I so to particularize them, tread- 
 ing in the shoes of the Author of Waverly and 
 other great Novelists, from the number of them 
 and their doings, instead of the two volumes I 
 propose to my work, it would be necessary to ex- 
 tend it to twenty. Novels usually comprise the 
 events happening to about a dozen individuals for 
 a twelvemonth or so, whereas my narrative com- 
 prehends a period of an apprenticeship, and is 
 more or less connected with a whole University. 
 Secondly, friend Priestley, of Holborn, the great 
 Bookseller, not the great Preacher and Philosopher, 
 
214 
 
 CHARACTERS. 
 
 reminds me, (and his theatre for observation has 
 been on the largest scale), that in all the transac- 
 tions he has had for these forty years with great 
 
 men , he has found them “ d d ugly.” 
 
 Well, be this as it may, “ Long Bailey,” u Little 
 Walker,” and some others whom I could describe 
 if I had paper-room, were, as I have already said, 
 great cronies. We fagged from the peep to the 
 dusk of day, with the exception of Bailey, who, 
 wanting longer sleep because of his longer length, 
 I suppose, usually rose at two p. m., or upwards. 
 At breakfast, this B. A. was to be found, when 
 the rest of the college were ruminating the good 
 cheer of the Hall. From this time to ten or 
 thereabouts, the gentleman used to sport his door 
 against all comers, whether duns or non-duns, foes 
 or friends ; but then the college gates being closed 
 and his studies for the day concluded, all comers 
 must be from within walls, and consequently of the 
 latter description. Bailey’s dinner proved often- 
 times a good hearty John-Bull supper to these 
 in-poppers. If you had dropped in upon him at 
 that hour you would perchance have found him 
 making preparations himself (the bedmakers, 
 gyps, and all, being now locked out for the night) 
 in manner following: Throwing open the win- 
 
CHARACTERS. 
 
 215 
 
 dow, he began operations, by hailing one of the 
 college ostlers, (accustomed to the thing,) letting 
 down a bottle and basket, with orders to go out 
 into the town to fetch drinkables and edibles in 
 proportion to the friends already congregated. This 
 the groom quickly executing, the viands were 
 drawn up in the same way. Then taking the meat, 
 whether mutton-chops or beef-steaks, Mr. B. per- 
 formed the ceremony of deviling upon the red-hot 
 coals, without even a gridiron, with so much tact 
 and dexterity, that thus cooked, I and all others 
 used to enjoy it a hot and hot,” with much higher 
 relish than the most delicate morceau served up 
 in Hall. The man was as hospitable, as he was 
 learned and eccentric. The reader may have seen 
 the sentimental cook, personated by Mathews, 
 meditating one moment with heartfelt sympathy 
 over the Sorrows of W erter, and the next throwing 
 down the book to run and skin the eels, but it 
 would perhaps have more surprised him, to have 
 seen a man of such deep erudition so interestingly 
 performing the menial occupations. After and 
 during the repast, the conversation, enlivened with 
 wine, liquor, and audit, was, in general, a greater 
 treat than even the dinner-supper itself. Revel- 
 ling in all the luxuries of Rome and Greece, we 
 
216 
 
 FRIENDS. 
 
 seldom broke up without lengthening the night 
 into two or three o'clock of the morning. 
 
 In this Term, I also formed other connections 
 equally serviceable to me. Mr. Bickin of Peter- 
 house did me much valuable service, in the loan 
 of Mathematical MSS. and other attentions, and, 
 in short, in every possible manner evinced the 
 warmest friendship, although greatly my superior 
 <c in standing,"’ and consequently attainments. 
 This worthy, his friend Mr. Sharpe, and “ gentle- 
 man Peacock,” vied with each other in promoting 
 my interests. I had the full benefit of their libra- 
 ries, “ College MSS.,” and advice. 
 
 I also greatly extended, in spite of my endea- 
 vours to the contrary, the list I had already formed 
 of friends of the same year as myself. At parties, 
 whether breakfast, dinner, wine, tea, or supper, you 
 sometimes meet a good-hearted, frank, free-minded 
 soul, who taking a fancy to you (the lord knows 
 why) invites you in an under tone to meet the 
 arbiter of the feast the next or some other day at his 
 rooms. A partiality thus flatteringly pourtrayed 
 no man is proof against, and in this way did 
 I acquire a few of the most valuable and unalter- 
 able of my friends. From this circumstance I am 
 induced to conclude, that lasting friendship hinges 
 
FRIENDS. 
 
 217 
 
 upon much the same pivot as matrimony — * 
 there must in both cases, unless the regard be 
 mutual, be such an attachment in one of the 
 parties, as shall also, by the overflow as it were, 
 engender a reciprocity of feeling in the other. By 
 this unceremonious method amongst men of the 
 same year are most of the friendships formed at the 
 University, (and no bad custom is it) since thus 
 without much trouble you may select your society. 
 Men, however, of 66 inferior standing cannot 
 take such liberties with those who are senior to 
 them. The several years” are very ticklish 
 upon their seniority, and with reason ; a Freshman 
 or a Soph being very poor company for a Senior 
 Soph, a Questionist, or a Bachelor. 
 
 To narrate all the intimacies that subsist 
 amongst gownsmen would of itself fill volumes. I 
 have given one or two sketches, which I dare say 
 will enable the reader to picture to himself a 
 thousand others. I have selected such only as 
 were founded on the basis of reason, having no room 
 to indulge in the Bacchanalian insanities of those 
 who have “ more money than wit ” — of those who 
 have stronger relish for gormandizing and beastly 
 drunkenness, than for the “ feast of reason and 
 the flow of soul.” 
 
218 
 
 SPOONS* 
 
 During the Christmas vacation, as in the last, 
 the Senate-House Examination produced a new 
 Senior Wrangler, together with seventeen other 
 Wranglers, nineteen Senior Optimes, and twelve 
 Junior Optimes. Of the year preceding, Ds. 
 Jacob, of Caius college, was the Senior Wrangler, 
 and Ds. Tyas of Trinity, the Spoon — the Alpha 
 and Omega of the honours. Now that year it so 
 happened that the Spoon was no spooney; Mr. 
 Tyas being a man of known ability, although a 
 little refractory. Prior to this he had obtain- 
 ed a medal for the Greek ode, and otherwise dis- 
 tinguished himself, so as to leave no doubt as to 
 his being a man of talent. Thus the Spoon becomes 
 a stigma to a man, only when the acquisition of 
 the same has required his utmost exertions. In 
 the present year, the Senior Wrangler was Mr. 
 Austin, of St. John’s college. 
 
 The second Term of the second year now com- 
 mencing, to lectures again we go, and are lectured 
 somewhat as before ; Mr. Brown expounding very 
 clearly the mathematical subjects, and the Profes- 
 sor unfolding the mysteries of the Gospel. Much 
 as I was now attached to the Mathematics, the 
 study of the Testament I found by no means 
 devoid of interest. At home and at school I had 
 
FAGGING. 
 
 219 
 
 read the Bible, through and through, and knew 
 as much about the thing as though it had never 
 existed. But now, having the explanations be- 
 fore me, making the “ rough places plain/’ one 
 book furnishing me with a key to the orientalisms, 
 another pointing out errors in the received trans- 
 lation, and so on, I began to see and feel the 
 reasonableness and truth of Christianity. Along 
 with Paley’s unanswerable view of the Evidences in 
 general, I read, Soame Jenyns on the Internal 
 Evidences, and that excellent book which several 
 of the bishops have the discrimination to recom- 
 mend so strongly to the candidates for holy orders, 
 — Jenkins on the “Reasonableness of the Christian 
 Religion,” and many others of the like nature. 
 Butler's Analogy I also perused with much plea- 
 sure. In short, I sought “ reasons for the faith 
 within me,” and found them. The Old Testa- 
 ment I regarded as the singular history of a most 
 singular people ; its narratives, at least, as true as 
 those of Herodotus, and some other ancient his- 
 torians ; the Prophecies, and Psalms, as the pro- 
 duction of a superior intelligence ; the book of 
 Job, although spurious, yet of excellent moral 
 tendency ; and the Proverbs the wisdom of the 
 wisest man. The mild and benevolent precepts 
 
226 
 
 RELIGION. 
 
 of Christianity, as inculcated in the story of the 
 Good Samaritan , in the treatment of the Woman 
 taken in Adultery , in the charge to love our enemies , 
 to return good for evil , and so on, and in the Ser- 
 mon on the mount, together with a thousand other 
 moral excellencies infinitely superhuman, are amply 
 sufficient, without the working of miracles, to con- 
 vince any man whose reason is vigorous , free , and 
 unbiassed , that Christ was infinitely more than man. 
 Before this “ light was shed abroad,” we had 
 philosophers, indeed, a Socrates and the divine 
 Plato. But the doctrines of the latter, even divine 
 as they are, sink into nothing when compared with 
 the infinite wisdom , and goodness of the Gospel. 
 In this frank avowal of my love for Christ and his 
 heavenly doctrines, I am neither seeking to ingra- 
 tiate myself with any particular sect, nor to creep 
 into a good fat living in the establishment. The 
 canting hypocrisy too generally prevailing of the for- 
 mer, — their fulsome and impious familiarities with 
 the Deity, whom they treat as one of themselves, 
 not even with the respect they pay to a lord of the 
 land, I am as independent of, as of the vile reptile 
 system also practised by too many in the established 
 church. My opinions, in short, upon all subjects, 
 will be expressed in the words of an honest genuine 
 
METAPHYSICS. 
 
 221 
 
 freethinker. Upon all points, whether religious or 
 civil, I deliver myself with perfect fearlessness, 
 being as independent of consequences from my 
 fellow-men as the man in the moon. What will 
 the London day-school jobber say to this reverence 
 for the Bible P In the plenitude of the wisdom of 
 these Caledonian, Fletcherian (this man is one of 
 them it seems), Broughamian, factious demagogues, 
 they will doubtless dub me a lunatic . But as 
 
 Professor Vince used to say of Milton’s Paradise 
 Lost, so say I of their speeches,— u they are very 
 fine, but prove nothing.” 
 
 But taking a farewell of these pedagogues, 
 (whose pupils by the way will not lack correction 
 for want of broom) I shall resume the thread of 
 my narrative, and proceed to wind up the Term. 
 
 In Metaphysics I read merely Locke and 
 Dugald Stewart, the former of whom struck me 
 as an author of prodigious genius, and originality ; 
 and as to the latter, although infinitely below 
 Locke, as an original, yet has he done much that 
 is admirable. But Metaphysical speculations are so 
 liable to error, the subtilities increasing as you 
 proceed with such intricate complications, that 
 while there remains a single proposition of the 
 Accurate Sciences to be discovered, I think it idle 
 
222 
 
 DIVINITY LECTURES. 
 
 thus to spend one’s leisure. In the strict sense of 
 the word, we may again exclaim with Vince, 
 “ although the treatises of Aristotle, Locke, Stewart 
 and bishop Berkeley are very puzzling and ingenious 
 yet they prove nothing.” So long as truth is 
 to be found in the broad light of Mathematical, 
 Chemical and other Sciences, why seek her in the 
 dark uncertain labyrinths of Metaphysics ? 
 
 Independent of the college lectures of this term, 
 I also attended about fifteen of the Norrisian lectures 
 upon divinity in the room under the front of the 
 University library. The bishops, when we go up 
 for ordination, require a certificate from the 
 Norrisian Professor, as he is called, stating that 
 you have, at the least, been his auditor twenty-five 
 times. But these grew so tiresome to me, being 
 read out of a book, Pearson on the Creed, accord- 
 ing to the will of the founder, and there being so 
 much irreverence and disorderly conduct amongst 
 the students, that for the life of me I could not 
 get through the course. The gay-men as well as 
 the reading-men being obliged every day at twelve 
 to go to the Professor’s table to drop their card, we 
 had all sorts of such scenes as might be expected 
 from a host of dissipated impatient young fellows 
 caring no more for the lecturer or lectures than 
 
VACATION. 
 
 223 
 
 they did for bishop Pearson or the creed. It was 
 an every-day trick with them, to contrive to bolt 
 in at the same moment with a dozen or two of the 
 more sedate students, throw their cards upon the 
 table, and then in the crowd slip out at the door, 
 and thus run off to resume their amusements. 
 Many times have I seen them in their extreme 
 desire to escape the bore, as they called it, of being 
 detained an hour, creep out on all -fours, the Pro- 
 fessor being a man of such small altitude, that the 
 wags thus became eclipsed by the table. 
 
 But now the Term being over, the Easter Vaca- 
 tion commences, and away the majority of the gay- 
 men (I am now noscent enough to discover it), who 
 pretend they are (< going down,” run up to Lon- 
 don, there to shew off to the cocknies the ways of 
 the bloods and swells of the University — 
 
 “ Flies up to town our fierce-cocked captious Bobby, 
 Drives to the play, and quarrels in the lobby. 
 c Sir, I’m a gentleman/— c Damme, sir, you lie:’ 
 
 ( Sir, here’s my card,’ — c Damme, I am, I — ’ ’ ’ 
 
 For my own part, I found my way to the 
 metropolis, and also to the theatres, but not to the 
 lobby, not then having the slightest suspicion that 
 in public establishments such public exhibitions of 
 lewdness would be tolerated — that the 6C great 
 lessees ” of the play-houses were “ ipso facto,” 
 
224 
 
 LECTURES IN LONDON. 
 
 but a higher sort of brothel- keepers ; pimps to the 
 public. I contrived for a few days, however, to 
 recreate myself. I attended a few Philosophical 
 Lectures at the London, Russel, and other Insti- 
 tutions, and certainly was amused with the 
 manner in which things of that kind are got up 
 and conducted in the metropolis, although not 
 much edified therewith. On one occasion a soi- 
 disant Professor of Natural Philosophy was hold- 
 ing forth, to an audience consisting of all sorts 
 and sizes — from the great big-bellied alderman, 
 down to the little slim Miss not yet in her teens, 
 upon the wonders of the heavens. He descanted 
 in language employing all the words of Johnson's 
 Dictionary, and a great many more, upon the 
 prodigious velocity of the moon, the sun, and the 
 seven stars, and all the other innumerable twink- 
 lers, every moment eliciting as vehement applause 
 as though he were acting in a theatre some part 
 within their comprehension. The absurdity of 
 thus applauding and swallowing all for gospel of 
 what they understood nothing, struck me the 
 more forcibly from the consideration of the ease 
 and comfort with which such things are heard at 
 Cambridge. But “ Omne ignotum pro mag- 
 nifico ” 
 
 Finding London not a fit place to learn in 
 
LECTURES. 
 
 225 
 
 although the first in the world to bring learn- 
 ing to, I speedily left it to resume my studies 
 at Cambridge, and with not a little pride did I 
 again enter the arch of the Great Tower of 
 Trinity — of the abode of Newton. 
 
 The subjects for Lectures during the Third 
 Term had been “ given out’ prior to my departure 
 for town, and I had taken care snugly to transfer 
 from the libraries to my rooms all such books as 
 could in the least assist me. The Professor had 
 nothing to do with the Second- Year Men this 
 Term, rightly considering that we should have 
 ample employment in going through with Mr. 
 Brown, Conic Sections, Popular and Plane Astro- 
 nomy, and the first three sections of Newton’s 
 Principia. This, indeed, together with the revi- 
 sion of the reading of the whole year, was almost 
 too much for us. With Astronomy X was both 
 delighted and astonished, not having previously 
 entertained any but the most imperfect ideas of 
 the wonders it discloses, and demonstrates. Pro- 
 vided with the instruments of calculation — Algebra, 
 Trigonometry, Conics, &c., we were now prepared 
 not only to read in Bonnycastle and Laplace’s Sys- 
 teme du Monde, the magnificence of the universe 
 and the bodies in it, but also to demonstrate it 
 
 VOL. I. Q 
 
226 
 
 PROGRESS. 
 
 by rules of reason as infallible and clear to minds 
 thus cultivated, as that “ two and two make 
 four.” The science of the motions of the planets, 
 their magnitudes, distances from the earth and 
 sun, the occultations of the stars, the eclipses of 
 the sun and moon, and a thousand other points, 
 had now become as facile and familiar to me as 
 common arithmetic. I could now tell you as 
 readily how many eclipses of either kind would 
 happen two thousand years hence, or that did take 
 place two thousand years ago, with every circum- 
 stance relating to the duration and digits eclipsed 
 with nearly the same ease and just the same cer- 
 tainty, as but two years before I could have grap- 
 pled with the intricacies of Multiplication, Division, 
 The Rule of Three, or Practice. The study of 
 Astronomy, mathematically handled — not what 
 they call Astronomy at ladies 7 boarding-schools, is 
 delectable in the extreme — sublimity itself. 
 
 The first section of the Principia was the only 
 insuperable difficulty I ever met with in the Ma- 
 thematics. Mr. Brown made many efforts to lift 
 us over the obstacles that every where present 
 themselves in the opening of that greatest monu- 
 ment of human intelligence, but all his examples 
 and illustrations failed to accomplish their ob- 
 
DIFFICULTIES, 
 
 227 
 
 ject — at least, to my mind. The theory it 
 attempts to expound is none other, in its results 
 than Newton’s own Fluxions, Leibnitz’s Dif- 
 ferential Calculus, Lagrange’s Calcul des Fonc- 
 tions, Arbogast’s Calcul des Derivations, &c. 
 &c. All these different systems lead to the 
 same practical rules, although every one of them 
 is founded upon erroneous hypotheses or conducted 
 upon false principles of reasoning. Newton him- 
 self first published his Fluxions. Dissatisfied with 
 that view of the subject, — not merely desirous of 
 giving it in a more Geometrical form, — in the First 
 Section of the Principia he looks at it in another light, 
 and calls it the u Doctrine of Ultimate Ratios.” 
 Again, in the second volume he deduces a few 
 rules for practice, founded on the consideration of 
 moments . Thus the Inventor of the higher 
 Analytics himself clearly betrays a want of confi- 
 dence in his several theories. But what is to be 
 the inference, when, in addition to Newton’s own 
 instability, we consider the fact that other geome-r 
 ters have ever since his day up to the present, 
 been proposing fresh theories ? Why, that the 
 true and exact one remains undiscovered. 
 
 Such being the case it is not surprising that 
 men should meet with so sudden a check in their 
 Q 2 
 
228 
 
 DIFFICULTIES. 
 
 Mathematical career, on their first approach to 
 the treasures of the Principia. Many, indeed 
 who think at first superficially, find no difficulty 
 whatever in the Lemmas, but on every re-perusal 
 obscurities and inexplicabilities spring up on every 
 side, until at length they become completely be- 
 wildered. Tn these perplexities many sleepless 
 nights have I passed, meditating for hours to- 
 gether upon the subject, fruitlessly endeavouring 
 to reduce it to something like the reasoning of 
 Euclid. But then (I have lately spent four en- 
 tire months upon the business, and believe I have 
 succeeded completely), finding the thing hopeless, 
 and being perfectly satisfied of the justness of the 
 conclusions, however incomprehensible the reason- 
 ing which leads to them, I was finally obliged to 
 relinquish the task, taking the whole for granted, 
 as many hundreds had done before me, and pro- 
 ceed to ransack the riches of the interior. 
 
 Although the above will probably be rather dry 
 to the general reader, yet the student may derive 
 advantage from my experience, and avoid losing 
 the time I thus squandered away, instead of em- 
 ploying it to advantage, in a general wind-up 
 for the Examination, which was now to take 
 place. 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 229 
 
 Every morning during the general annual Ex- 
 amination at Trinity, we assemble in the hall at 
 nine o’clock precisely. The utmost anxiety is 
 depicted upon the countenances of the Reading- 
 Men. Some you see entering the hall with a 
 handful of the very best pens , although there is 
 an ample supply upon every table, so fearful are 
 they lest a moment should be lost in mending the 
 same. Others, whose fathers or guardians have 
 promised them douceurs of a thousand guineas, 
 more or less, provided they get into the First 
 Class, are to be seen writhing with the anticipa- 
 tion. As to the gay-men and empty-bottles, they 
 languish and look sad at the very idea of being 
 compelled for once to sing small, and look foolish 
 with their hands in their pockets, whilst their 
 wiser brethren are reaping a rich harvest of fame 
 and emolument, from the labour of the year just 
 ending. 
 
 Well, the men of each year being seated at the 
 same table with abundance of pens, ink, and 
 paper (in the form of quarters of sheets), a printed 
 paper containing a number of questions is pre- 
 sented to each man, with a request that he will 
 write on one side of the paper only . Whilst the 
 Freshmen were being examined viva-voce upon 
 
230 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 / 
 
 the Greek play at the farther end of the Hall, the 
 Junior Sophs were busy (without the aid of books, 
 mind ; no helps whatever being permitted) upon 
 the following paper. 
 
 THUCYDIDES. B. vii. 
 
 Thin. Coll. 
 
 A. Mention, from Thucydides himself, 
 
 (1) What is known of his country, profession, 
 and life ? 
 
 (2) His motives for writing the History of the 
 Peloponnesian War — and the probable accuracy of 
 his account ? 
 
 (3) What were the real, and what the ostensible 
 causes of that war ? 
 
 (4) How long it lasted altogether — and how 
 much of it is related by himself? 
 
 (5) How the Expedition to Sicily came to be 
 resolved upon ? 
 
 (6) When, and by whom, Syracuse was 
 founded ? 
 
 B, (1 ) Are there any grounds for suspecting 
 Thucydides of laconism ? 
 
EXAMINATION. 231 
 
 (2) When, why, and for how long, was he 
 absent from his country ? 
 
 (3) What was the name, nature, and origin, 
 of the chief magistracy there at the time ? 
 
 (4) A (i) plug ’lawtov ...... i cpaTiiaavreg. 
 
 What distinction is here alluded to ? and what 
 people belonged to each division respectively ? 
 
 (5) Give a short account of the civil govern- 
 ment of Lacedaemon at the period of the Pelopon- 
 nesian War. 
 
 C. (1) How docs Thucydides divide his narra- 
 tion ? and why ? 
 
 (2) W hat befel the principal leaders ? and 
 
 (3) What were the more important transac- 
 tions of the Peloponnesian War? 
 
 (4) How did it end ? and what were its 
 political consequences ? 
 
 D t (1) rj (jzXrjvrj hcXe'nru. Mention any remark- 
 able eclipses recorded in history — and the notions 
 entertained of their import, from ancient and 
 modern writers. 
 
 (2) avSpeg yap tt 6\ig, kcu ov Tuyy\, ouSt vfjeg 
 avSpuv KEvat. Do you know any similar senti- 
 ment in ancient or modem poets ? 
 
232 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 (3) With what other General of antiquity has 
 Nicias been compared? and what are the points of 
 comparison ? 
 
 E. (1 ) Tapag. What was the Latin name of 
 this place ? by whom, and on what occasion was 
 it founded, according to Horace ? 
 
 (2) Draw a Map of Sicily, marking the pro- 
 montories, principal cities, &c. 
 
 F. (1) Give the precise meaning of the words, 
 avayiyvw&icu), ETTtTrXi^pou)) TTpocytyvofiaL, avri7ra- 
 pucncevaZb), /ueraTTE/UTro. ), ETrnrEfjnru), avravayw, 
 avapaypiiai, dvTtrrapardacya >, dvayuyptw, and dis- 
 tinguish between diroTEixi^u) and TrapaTEiyi^w. 
 
 (2) Also the derivation and meaning of the 
 
 following : ZwypeTv, KaraTrzTrXrixOai , IcroppoTrog, 
 
 TTapav6pLY]pa, izarritys'ia, d7n)VTO}ioXl]KE(jav> dpyaio- 
 Xoyuvy fioriOeiv, tKKXrj&ia, avri TrciXog, (in its 
 different significations), vTrdaTrovSog. 
 
 (3) Explain and accentuate the Scholiastic 
 terms, TvapEK^aotg, ra E^rjg, (iIvittetcu, napeXKOv- 
 T(i)g keigOu i, r} Siavoia, <jyj]fia irpog to Gr,fiaLvo- 
 
 fXEVOV , aVCLKoXovOoV. 
 
 (4) Distinguish the terms, vTrrjKOoi, tZvppaxoi, 
 
 (popov v7toteXecc , avrovojioL . Also distinguish 
 
 between vetopiov and veuxjoikoi. 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 233 
 
 (5) Write down the different meanings of the 
 following words, according to their difference of 
 accentuation : aycov, ciTfXovz, r), ava , vspoj, Qeag, 
 \aog- 
 
 G. (1) Distinguish between irav, and to i rav,~ 
 and translate accurately the following passage, 0 i 
 jdlv ttoXXoi rwr IvOaSs rjBr] elprjKorwv hrcuvovcn 
 rov npoaOivTa no vopto 7ov Xoyov rovSe, (B. II. 
 
 §• xi.) 
 
 (2) 7 rp 07 T£/X 77 £ 7 £ UVT OVQ. 0% . Ill what 
 
 senseis d>c here used? With what restrictions 
 can it be so employed ? 
 
 (3) Distinguish between £oq before a future 
 participle generally — and when future participles 
 are attended by verbs signifying array, or march 
 in war. Cite an example of each from Thucy- 
 dides. 
 
 (4) Specify the principal usages of avtarryuLi 
 and ava<jTci(Jig. What English verbs correspond 
 apparently in their elements with aviaT^pi and 
 ku Oiarrjpi ? 
 
 (5) Exemplify the use of the verb with 
 the participle of an aorist — and distinguish accu- 
 rately between the force of such a combination and 
 the simple aorist. 
 
234 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 (6) Trace the verb vepoj from its original 
 meaning, through its different usages. 
 
 (7) In what variety of significations is the verb 
 d^Looj employed by Thucydides ? 
 
 (8) What difference of government exists 
 between padtnpi and paOUpai ? Shew if the same 
 exists in any other compounds of tripi, 
 
 (9) State what you consider to be the leading 
 peculiarities of the style of Thucydides — and give 
 a character of it from some ancient author. 
 
 II, Translate literally the following passages 
 into English — and mention any different reading 
 by which, in your opinion, any of them may be 
 amended. 
 
 (1) ol yap K opivOioi, wq o*i Ttirptcyfiaig avroig 
 fjicQv, Kal ra iv rp So aXla fiaXriti) fiyyaXXov, vopi- 
 <javT£Q, ovk ciKaipov Kal rrjv nporepav 7 rtptpiv t£)v 
 vtuv iroiricraadai, 7 roAA(p paXXov InippwvTO, Kal 
 
 £ V oXkCKJL 9 77 ap£(JK£vd%OPTO ttVTOl T£ cnrOCrT£\oVVT£Q 
 
 onXirag £v rrj l&iKaXla, Kal £k rrjg aAArjc IIfXo7rov- 
 vr](rov ol Aa K£§aip,6viot too avrcj TpoTTtp TrapxfjovTag* 
 
 §. X 
 
 (2) o) yap Ikhvol tovq iraXag, oil Svvapa ecrriv 
 ote irpov^ovrag^ Se Opdaaf, hri\£ipovvT£g , 
 tcaTacpofiovcri, Kal <r(f>dg av to avro bpoitog, £vav m 
 rioig vrroaxuv. k«. 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 235 
 
 (3) fjv (c Trpariav ) ov$ dv p£TE7T£p\pav o i 
 SvpaKOVGioi, d hcuvoQ EvOvg ekekelto' t/cavot yap 
 avroL olopEvoc dvai, , dpa t av ipaOov riGGOvg 
 ovTEg, /cat airoTETuyiGpivoi av riGav' ware, prjS\ 
 d p£T£7T£p\pav, STL opolojg dv avTOvg w^eXeIv. 
 
 §• pfl'. 
 
 (4) rote tz yap hri\Eip{]paGLv uopwv ov k aTop- 
 OovvTeg /cat Tovg gt paruvrac aftOopivovg Trj povy. 
 vogol) te yap h tle%ovto tear dptyorspa, Trig re wpag 
 tov iviavrov ravrric ovgy] g, tv y daOEVovGiv 
 dvOpwiroL pdXioTa, /cat to ^a>piov dpa, ev <o 
 eGrpaTOTreSevovTOf tXwSse Kai uXettov ra re 
 aXXa ort dveXjuara avTolg ecpaivero, no ovv 
 AttipogOevel ovk eSokec etl xprjvai pevEiv * aXXa, /c. 
 
 T. X. §. p?. 
 
 ( 5 ) to Se ti /cat ra tojv tto Xep'lojv, d(j> wv 
 
 ettlttXeov, rj aXXot , y gOclveto airwv, IXuLdog rt 
 etl 7rapEL)(£, 7rovr]poTEpa tCjv G(j)ETEp(jJv egegOgl, rjv 
 KapT£pd)Gl TTpOGKadrjpEVOL. pi 7. 
 
 (6) 7roX£at raorate povaig t)Syi opoLOTpoirwg 
 E7TEX0dvT£g, SrjpoKpaTOvpEvaig te, wgtteo /cat avTol 
 Kal vavg /cat pEyWr) IxpvGaLg, ov SvvapEvoc 
 ETTEVEyKEiv ovte ek 7roXiT£iag tl p£Taj3oXrjgrb Sid(po- 
 pov avTolg, ty TrpOGy)yQVTO av, ovd ek 7rapaGK£vrig, 
 TroXXtO KpELGGOVg, G(j)oXX6pEVOL Si Ta ItXeLCx), TCL TE 
 •npo avTiov r^iropovv } Ka\, It raS/? ye rate vavalv 
 
2 36 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 eKpart]6}](Tav, o ovk dv loovto, ttoAAcS Sr) pdAAov 
 r)0vpovv. §. vL 
 
 I. Correct the readings of the following passages, 
 if necessary, and state the grounds of each alter- 
 ation. 
 
 (1 ) kcu, rjv prj (1) g rd^iGra i) g <j)dg pErcnrEpipov- 
 mv fj aAAovg firj oAiyovg dnoGrEAAwGiv, ouSejulciv 
 tivai Gh)Tr}f>iav. ??. 
 
 (2) inTELCri St rd Svo TEi\iGpara r)A'iGKOVTO, lv 
 
 TOVTLO KCU 01 'SjVpdKOVGLOl ETVy^aVOV r/SlJ VLKWpEVOl, 
 
 leal o l t£ avrdjv (j)EvyovTEg paov TrapErrAEVGav. 
 
 §• k t'- v 
 
 (3) dpu)g o\ rjv pd 77 qoge\ete rrjv yvidpr^v, rd 
 
 plv, A IjGOVGlV Vpdg, WGTTEp KCU 7TpOTEpOV , rd St 
 
 ( pOnGOvrai . le\ 
 
 (4) 7rp6[3ard. te ndvra dnoAdjAEi kcu v: ToZ&yia. 
 
 §• 
 
 (5) Aoy 'l^egOe Sc, on adroi te 77oAig EvOvg 
 Igte , oTTQi dv kclOe^tjOe, kcu uAAri odSt/nad/idc ra>v 
 lv S ikeAui ovt dv ETTiovrag SeScuro pa^icog, odS’ 
 dv iSpyOcvrag ttov t^avaarr/cmt. §. o^. 
 
 At twelve the Hall is cleared, the examiners 
 coming round to gather the scribbling of each 
 
examination. 
 
 237 
 
 man neatly folded up with the name written in 
 large letters at the back. On quitting the Hall 
 you are surrounded by a host of anxious friends 
 pestering you with, “ Well, how have you done?” 
 u Was it a stiff paper ?” “ Where is it ?” “ Lend 
 it me for an hour or two v — the latter of which if 
 you listen to, it is ten to one you never see it again, 
 so treacherous are gownsmen’s memories as to 
 returning examination papers. You then take a 
 turn in the walks or the cloisters, once more going 
 over your cram for the subject that’s to come on 
 in the Afternoon. At half-past one the dinner 
 takes place, which being swallowed without masti- 
 gation, lasts but for a minute or tw T o, and the 
 walks are again filled with the gownsmen “ cram- 
 ming ” away as though the destinies of all man- 
 kind hung upon the success of each individual of 
 them. The hands of the college- clock now fast 
 coming round to three, we again crowd the screens, 
 and the doors of the hall being opened, a general 
 rush ensues to the tables, the same agitating 
 anxieties still prevailing. We were now examined 
 viva-voce in Thucydides. Those who had been 
 accustomed to the drilling of public schools, or who 
 had well prepared themselves and were of strong 
 nerves, went through the funking exhibition with 
 
238 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 sufficient confidence, but not so those who were less 
 fortunately constituted. Many, as the questions 
 came round to them, sunk into the earth, almost — • 
 were absolutely bereft of the use of their faculties 
 for the moment, and scarcely able to give utterance 
 to the jumble of ideas which they possessed. One 
 poor fellow, a Scotchman, was in a pretty pickle. 
 The examiner asked him to construe a certain 
 passage, which he not being able to do except in 
 the bungling way of these Athenians, the following 
 
 colloquy ensued, “ Pray, Mr. -, how is it you 
 
 cannot construe this easy passage ?” — iC I, I, I, I, 
 am not prepared, Sir.”— “ That’s no excuse, Sir," 
 considering that you have had the whole year 
 before you to read the subject for this examination. 
 Come, Sir, try again if you please.” Again 
 essayed the gentleman, and again and again 
 blundered and stumbled, now giving false pronun- 
 ciation, longs for shorts, and shorts for longs, and 
 then again mistaking the meaning of the text, 
 fathering upon poor Thucydides all sorts of non- 
 sense, until the examiner’s patience, and gentle- 
 man-like feelings being fairly exhausted, he ex- 
 claimed, “ Pray, Mr. , where have you been 
 
 educated ?” — “ At the Maryshawl college (so he 
 pronounced Mareschal) Aberdeen, Sir.”— “ Really, 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 239 
 
 Sir ? The place has a learned name truly, but you 
 may tell your quondam tutor there, Sir, that here 
 we must have the substance itself of learning.” 
 The scene did not end here. I could relate the 
 whole, but wish to shew mercy. Many other 
 similar predicaments I might here describe, but 
 the above one will serve as a specimen. Sometimes 
 the examiners are apt to be too severe, but of such 
 I know very few instances. Others will attempt 
 to be witty. At a viva-voce examination, in St. 
 Luke, I recollect Mr. Ashbridge, who was some- 
 what given to punning and other facetiae, attacking 
 Lynam (now preacher at the Magdalene) with, 
 “ Can you tell me, Mr. L., who was king of Israel 
 when Jonas was in the whale’s belly ?” — “ The 
 Prince of Wales,” said Lynam, which being 
 delivered instanter, disconcerted the examiner, and 
 gave to the former a character for repartee at least 
 equal to that of the latter. But I am forgetting 
 my Freshmen, busy as they are, at the following 
 “ Bill of the Play ” 
 
240 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 HECUBA. 
 
 A . (1) In what Olympiad, and where, was Euri- 
 pides born ? How old were iEschylus and Sophocles 
 at that time ? 
 
 (2) From what circumstance did Euripides 
 derive his name ? and who was his instructor ? 
 
 (3) State the principal incidents of his life. 
 
 (4) Where did he die, and what honours were 
 paid to his memory ? 
 
 (5) Give the opinions of some of the ancients 
 on the respective merits of the three Tragedians. 
 
 (6) Explain Aristotle’s meaning when he says 
 of Euripides : 
 
 TpayucwTctTog ye rwv 7ro ly\t£)v (jxxiverai. 
 
 B . (1) State the origin and progress of tragedy 
 with the improvements introduced by iEsehylus, 
 Sophocles, and Euripides respectively. 
 
 (2) . Give some account of the feasts at which 
 the Tragic contests took place. What was the 
 TerpaXoyta ? 
 
 (3) Shew the distinct meaning of the terms, 
 rpaywSta, rpuywSta, fcw/xtoSta, xopyyog, x°P°^ L ~ 
 SadKaXog, Kopv(paiog vTTOKpirrjg , TrpwraywvujTrig, 
 X°P 0V airav, X°P ov SfSovcu and x°P ov 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 241 
 
 (4) Of what number was the Tragic chorus 
 composed at different periods ? Shew that the 
 common reason assigned for diminishing that num- 
 ber is false. 
 
 (5) What were the principal duties of the 
 chorus ? What are the advantages and disadvan- 
 tages of its introduction in Tragedy ? 
 
 (6) Explain the terms TrepiTrirsia, avayvwpiGig 
 and 7 raOog. Can any of them be appropriated to 
 the Hecuba ? 
 
 C. (1) Give a short analysis of the plot of 
 the Hecuba ? 
 
 (2) W 7 here is the scene laid ? Quote the pas- 
 sages on which you found your opinion. 
 
 (3) From what subjects chiefly were the best 
 Tragedies composed according to Aristotle? 
 
 (4) What is there peculiar in the manner in 
 which Euripides opens his plays? Quote the 
 passage of Aristophanes which refers to this point. 
 
 (5) What are the accounts given by Ovid and 
 Virgil respecting the manner of Polydorus’s death ? 
 
 (6) Arrange in the chronological order of their 
 subjects, those plays of the three Tragedians now 
 remaining, which refer to the Trojan war — and 
 give an account of the plot of the Troades 
 
 VOL, i. R 
 
242 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 J>» (1) In an Iambic senary what feet are ad- 
 missible, and in what places ? What are the rules 
 laid down by Horace for this metre ? 
 
 (2) What are the caesura, the quasi-caesura, and 
 the pause ? Give instances of each from the 
 Hecuba. 
 
 (3) When is a system of anapaests most perfect ? 
 What is the paraemiac, and why so called ? What 
 is the anapaestic base ? Explain the term <r war 
 fata — to what species of metre is it applied ? 
 
 (4) In what metre was Tragedy originally 
 written ? whence did that metre derive its name ? 
 and by whom was it first used ? 
 
 (5) Against what canons laid down by Mr. 
 Porson do any of the following lines offend ? 
 
 V. 343. KpVTTTOVTCL X £ ^° a > KCLi TTpOCTtoJTTOV TOU/X- 
 7 raXiv* 
 
 V. 717. rifjiiiQ fitv ovv Iw/nv, oud i- ipavo/itv. 
 
 V. 144. tr Ayapepvovog being yovarivv. 
 v. 782. fiev'iag r dpiOjuto rd i rpiora tlov eplov 
 
 (j)l\lOV. 
 
 E. (1) What are the general laws of Greek ac- 
 centuation ? 
 
 (2) How are dissyllabic prepositions accentuated 
 when placed before, and when after, the nouns, 
 which they govern ? State the exceptions to the 
 latter case, and the reason for them. 
 
EXAMINATION. 243 
 
 (3) Why is the last syllable of the Attic 
 futures (77]jiiavw 9 zZeXb), &c. cireumflexed ? 
 
 (4) Distinguish between enclitics and atonies. 
 Write down the latter. 
 
 (5) How is ec TT i accentuated in different parts of 
 a sentence ? 
 
 (6) Give the difference of meaning made by the 
 diacritic marks in the following words : paviag and 
 paviag . 7 telOoj and tteiQo). nomv and non iv. eitte 
 and etTTf. veojv and veojv, opog and opoc* ovkovv . 
 and ovkovv . aXXa and aXXa . (pcog and (jtdjg . erty a 
 and oiya, iSov and ISov. Eipyeiv and zlpyziv. jStog 
 and j3idg. 
 
 F. Mention the customs and historical facts to 
 which the subsequent passages severally allude; 
 and illustrate them by quotations from Greek or 
 Latin authors. 
 
 (1) v. 147. Sel d ettlSeiv 
 
 TV/uj 3oU TTpOTTSTri (j)OLVL(7(JOpEVa V 
 
 dlpari irapdavov ek ^pvaotyopov 
 Saprjc vaerpoj paXavavyei. 
 
 (2) v. 571. 
 
 dAA’ oi piv avrojv rrjv Oavovvav ek \^pdv 
 (f)vXXoig e[ 3aXXov. 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 244 
 
 (3) v. 874. 
 
 tl S' ; ov yvwuKtc £<Xov Aiyvnrov rtKva, 
 
 (4) koI Arjjuvov dpSrjv dpcrevtov e^coKiaav ; 
 
 (5; v. 1255. 
 
 Kvvog ToXaivr^g a^pa, vavdXoig Tticpap. 
 
 (6) v. 239. 
 
 ol(T0'r}viK rjXOeg VX'iov KardcFKOKog ; — ad- 
 dressed to Ulysses. 
 
 G. Give the various readings and a translation 
 of the following passages : 
 
 (1) v. 1ST 
 
 < j(j)d%ctL cr’ Apyelwv kolvcl 
 jZvvrdvu 7rpog Tupfiov yvwpq, 
 
 FI i}Xd$a ytvva. 
 
 (2) v. 293. 
 
 to S’ ua, Kav kvi ccog Xiyy , to aov 
 
 7TH<7H. 
 
 (3) V. 317. 
 
 Kal prjv ipoiye Zmvti plv KaO ’ rjpepav 
 
 kcu crpncpov typipi, 7 ravT av dpicovvToog i\ou 
 
 (4) v. 1009. 
 
 out rot) SlSwfcac aXX’ ’/(twc Sdxrug Sucriv' 
 aXlpevov Tig t og 
 Ig avrXov Ipirtcriov 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 245 
 
 AsypiOg, ESCTTEGiJ 
 
 tyiAaq KapS'iag, 
 dfiipGaq /Slot ov. 
 
 (5) Shew the objection to, and correct, the 
 following readings : 
 
 v. 376. (j)tp£i ptv,dXyei S\ avyev (for av^evi) 
 
 IvTiOelg Zvyov. 
 
 and v. 578 rotaS’ dpcjn GYjg A iyov 
 
 irdiSog 0avov<77]g . 
 
 II. (1). Distinguish between yd^ otv and eveku ; 
 tyatvLTcu and Sokei ; rplrog and rpiraiog ; rd(j)og 
 and rd(j)r) ; iAirig and : irapQivog, vvp(j)r} and 
 yvvi] ; SovAevoj and SovAoio ; Oeog and Saipojv ; 
 7roAtc and clgtv ; %ivoq 9 (j)iAog and iralpog. 
 
 (2) Derive and explain aSrjg, dAiaarog , aKpaify- 
 vrjg, alypdAwTog, Spyirrojiai and dvOptoiTog. 
 
 (3) What is the full force of the prepositions in 
 
 VTTE^ETrep^pEf E^aiTEOpai, aTTCUTEO), TTpOKOTTTO), dvTV 
 (jr)KO(j). 
 
 I. Explain and illustrate by quotations the 
 following idiomatic expressions : 
 
 (1) vvp(j)r)v dvvj u(pov. (2) oIgO 1 ovv 6 dpd.GOV ? 
 (3) ov yap olSa dEGiroraq KEKrrj/uEvog. (4) 7 TEpCoaa 
 TvyyavEi . (S^Tvyag geOev Si ohcrov eya). (6)aAAa 
 
246 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 TIC, XP e ' LCl ° ? (7) OVTO C, Ti 7Ta(T^IC? (8) £r? 
 
 kcu OavovGr^g oppa avyKAelaei to crop. 
 
 Which of these forms have been imitated by 
 Latin Poets ? 
 
 K, (1) What is Dawes’s canon respecting, iog, 
 Iva , o^joa &c. when they precede a subjunctive, 
 and when an optative mood ? are there any viola- 
 tions of this canon in the Hecuba ? 
 
 Are v. 26. 
 
 kcu ktcivwv, eg oi$fi aXog 
 
 pe6rix> tv avrbg xpvcrbv ev dopo ig exV 
 
 And v. 1130. 
 
 I UOVOV Se GVV TZKVOIGL fl UGUjei 
 
 dopovg, tv aWog pi] rig elSdr] Ta$e, to be 
 considered as exceptions to the general rule ? 
 
 (2) With what tenses is av denoting condition- 
 ality joined? Explain the force of the double civ 
 in v. 359. 
 
 €7 tut iGwg av Szgttotujv tojuLtov (jipevag 
 TvxoifJL av, oGTig apyvpov p wy r\GtTai* 
 
 (3) What cases do the following words respec- 
 tively govern ? pepejiopai. <j)0ovew. Set clkovo). 
 Tvyxavw. peOlrip dpeOiepai. Tie paw and other verbs 
 of motion, riyeopai. o<fXeiv in Euripides, and in 
 the Attic prose writers. 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 247 
 
 L . (1) If the final syllable of a word ending 
 with a short vowel precede a word beginning with 
 p , what is the quantity of that syllable ? 
 
 (2) What is the quantity, in Homer and the 
 Tragic writers, of the penult of wptwv, kcikloj v> 
 (j)i\og, Xiav, Xvw, avrip, toroe and KaXog, 
 
 (3) What is the quantity of the last syllable 
 of Attic accusatives in a from nominatives in eve ? 
 Are there any exceptions to this rule in the 
 Hecuba ? 
 
 M . (1) Translate into Latin Hexameters, the 
 following lines. 
 
 tl yap pe Set Zyv, p Trarrip pev riv ava% 
 QpVJUV OKaVTUV' TOVTQ pOL TTpWTOV (3lov 
 eireir iOptyOriv IXi tlSmv icoXuv in ro, 
 fiacnXevcFi vvpQw, ZrfXov ov apnepbv yapuv 
 e^oucr , orov cup evTiav r ayif^opat 
 Seanoiva S\ r} Svarrjvog, TSatatcrtv tfv 
 yvvat^i, 7ra pOevoig r cnrofiXeiTTog pera , 
 tar] Oeyai, 7rXriv to tzarOaveiv povov * 
 vvv S’ et/xt SovArj. irpura pev pe rovvopa 
 Oaveiv tpav TiOrjaiv, ovk eluObg 6v’ 
 
 £ 7 reir ’taug av Secnrorwv upuv (ppevag 
 7v\oip av, bang apyvpov p uviiatrai, 
 TYlV*JLKTOp6g T£y T£p(t)V TToXXCjV, KiXaiV' 
 
248 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 (2) And into Latin Lyrics : 
 
 7 rovot yap, icai irovwv 
 civajKai icpdecroveg, KVKXovvrai. 
 kolvov S ’ e ? Idiag dvoiag 
 icaicbv ra 'Siifiovvfl'Bi ya 
 
 oXWpiov e/uLoXs, av/uifpopd r cnr gAAcov 
 
 ZKpLur] o eptg av ev log 
 Kptvu rpiuadg jaaicapiyv 
 7 ralSag avrjp fiovrag, 
 
 IttI COpl, KUl (pOVCO. Kul hflbJV 
 
 juizXaOptov Xwfia* 
 
 (TT£V£l Sfc Kai Tig ajUKjfi tov , 
 eupoov Ei ipwrav 
 
 A aicaiva rroXvSaKpvrog Iv Soaoig KOpa . 
 ttoXiov t & tI tcpara /adrrjp 
 tzkvojv Oavbvrojv rlOerai 
 Xtpa? SpviTTZTai re 7rap£idv, 
 
 Siaijutov ovv^a nOtplva oTrapaypolg, 
 
 [Thin. Coll. 1816. 
 
 The afternoon’s fag is a pretty considerable one, 
 lasting from three till dusk. Men are allowed to 
 continue scribbling as long as they can see. 
 
 Quitting Hall this afternoon, my only immediate 
 concern was, to catch some Freshman’s paper. 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 249 
 
 which having obtained, away I retired from the 
 fatigues of the day, along with a knot of select 
 friends, all inquisitive as to the number of ques- 
 tions answered in the Paper of the morning, as well 
 as to those propounded at the Viva Voce Exami- 
 nation, to a slight supper and a good deep jorum 
 of invigorating audit. Dismissing my guests at 
 an early hour, after nodding over a little ammuni- 
 tion for the renewal of the campaign next morn- 
 ing, I threw myself, as willingly as ever I did in 
 the whole course of my life, into the arms of Mor- 
 pheus, and cutting chapel, rose not till eight in 
 the morning. 
 
 At nine again scamper the whole college to the 
 Hall, and again commences the drudgery of the 
 day, every man exhibiting feelings within him 
 still more tumultuous than on the day preceding. 
 Pale and death-like as were most of us, from ex- 
 cessive reading before the Examination commenced, 
 it was not likely that the labour of the mind and 
 inaction of the body already suffered should restore 
 the youthful bloom and blush of health to these 
 martyrs to learning. Paler and paler still grew 
 every man as the Examination proceeded. To 
 every Junior Soph was now given the following 
 Paper 
 
250 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 LIVY. B. xxi. 
 
 TRINITY COLLEGE. 
 
 A. (1) Give a short account of the style and 
 character of Livy, from ancient authors. 
 
 (2) Shew, by quotation from the author him- 
 self, what period he meant to comprehend in his 
 work. — What parts have been lost ? 
 
 (3) Shew, from Livy, when, and on what oc- 
 casion, pay was first given to the Roman infantry ; 
 and likewise to the cavalry. 
 
 B. (1) Mention the real and pretended origin of 
 each of the Punic Wars, with their consequences. 
 
 (2) The names of the different commanders ; and 
 
 (3) the date of the 'principal battles fought during 
 those wars. (4) What other ancient authors 
 have written this portion of history ; and in what 
 material respects are they at variance with Livy ? 
 
 ✓ 
 
 C. (1) To what cause principally does a cele- 
 brated Greek writer attribute the fall of Carthage, 
 and the elevation of Rome, during the two latter 
 Punic Wars ? 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 251 
 
 (2) To what evident general causes do you 
 attribute the final success of the Romans over the 
 Carthaginians ? 
 
 (3) Trace Hannibal’s rout from Saguntum to 
 the Trebia, with your reasons for adopting that 
 particular line. 
 
 (4) Write down Juvenal’s description of Han- 
 nibal? and 
 
 (5) His passage over the Alps from Silius 
 Italicus. 
 
 (6) Quote the passage in which Virgil alludes 
 to this event. v 
 
 (7) Had they ever before been passed, according 
 to Livy ? 
 
 D. (1) What was the established form of govern- 
 ment at Carthage during the Punic Wars ? 
 What was the title of the supreme magistracy ? 
 How styled by Cornelius Nepos? ( Vit . Ann.) 
 What compared to by Livy ? What third coun- 
 try had any thing resembling it ? 
 
 (2) Mention the most important changes in 
 the supreme magistracy at Rome, from the foun- 
 dation of the city to the age of Augustus, with the 
 date of each. 
 
 (3) Name the three republics which Aristotle 
 
252 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 considers the best modelled of any in the world P 
 Which does he prefer, and what are the grounds 
 of his preference ? 
 
 E. (1) Give the derivation of the following 
 
 words : 44 vis, decus, sylva, forma, divus, rapax, 
 
 aevum, ovis, arvum.” 
 
 (2) Translate and explain, 44 Latum inde ad 
 
 populum, vellent, inherent, populo Garth amniensi 
 helium indici” (§. 17.) 
 
 (3) Explain the phrases 44 prserogativa mili- 
 
 taris 4t sub corona vaenire 44 res ex foedere 
 repetunt;” 46 reum criminis deposeunt.” 
 
 (4) Also the derivation and meaning of 
 44 anceps, mancipium, ambiguus, amphora, prae- 
 texta, latrocinium, ambitio.” Distinguish between 
 
 (5) 44 auspex, augur,” and 44 aruspex.” (6) 
 44 crimen, culpa,” and 44 peccatum.” (7) 44 acies, 
 exercitus,” and 44 agmen.” (8) 44 peregrinus, 
 hospes,” and 44 advena.” (9) <4 deses, piger,” 
 and 44 desidiosus.” (10) 44 campus, ager,” and 
 44 arvum.” (11) 44 sentio,” and 44 censeo.” 
 
 F. Translate the following passages into 
 English : 
 
 (1) 44 Hunc juvenem (scil. Hannibalem) tan- 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 253 
 
 quam furiam facemque belli odi ac detestor. Nec 
 dedendum solum ad piaculum rupti foederis, — scd, 
 si nemo deposcat, devehendum in ultimas maris 
 terrarumque oras ; ablegandumque eo, unde nec 
 ad nos nomen famaque ejus accedere, — nec solici- 
 tare quietae civitatis statu m possit.” (§. 10) 
 
 (2) “ Adeo stolida impudensque postulatio 
 visa est, censere, ne in Italiam transmittant Galli 
 bellum ; ipsos id avertere in se, agrosque suos pro 
 alienis populandos objicere.” (§ 20.) 
 
 (3) “ Elepbantorum trajiciendorum varia con- 
 silia fuisse credo ; certe varia mcmoria est actae 
 rei. Quidam, congregatis ad ripam elephantis, 
 tradunt ferocissimum ex iis irritatum a rectore 
 suo, quum refugientem eum in aquam natantem 
 sequeretur, traxisse gregem; ut quemque timentem 
 altitudinem destituerat vadum, impetu ipso flumi- 
 nis in alteram ripam rapiente.” (§. 28.) 
 
 (4) (e Et quia nec montanis primo perculsis, 
 nec loco magnopere impediebantur, aliquantum eo 
 triduo vise confecifc,” (§. 33.) 
 
 And the Freshmen were showing off in the 
 distance, viva voce , all they had collected in their 
 researches relating to Livy. 
 
254 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 It being now twelve o’clock, once more are we 
 assailed by the Freshmen, and indeed men of all 
 years but our own, for a sight or loan of the 
 paper — several small College Men also manifesting 
 the same feelings. But as on the noon preceding, 
 to cramming and walking we again set-to till 
 dinner, which is again whipt up as before, and so 
 on till the hour of three. We then congregate as 
 usual, the Sophs to spout viva voce all they know 
 upon St. Luke, and the Freshmen to “ work” the 
 Paper subjoined. 
 
 TRINITY COLLEGE. 
 
 MECHANICS. 
 
 1. A, B, and C, are three bodies whose perpen- 
 dicular distances from a given plane are d, d! , d " ; 
 C is on the opposite side to A and B ; prove 
 A x d+B x d' — C x d /7 = {A + B + C} x d'" 
 where d 7// is distance of centre of gravity. 
 
 2. BA is perpendicular to the horison ; BDA 
 is a semi-circle, BCG a quadrant ; take any plane 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 255 
 
 AC. If a ball is thrown 
 up AC with velocity 
 acquired down BA, it 
 will describe a space 
 equal to AC-fCD in 
 the time of falling 
 through BA. 
 
 3. In a straight lever the sum of the products 
 of each body, and its distance from the fulcrum is 
 equal on both sides. 
 
 4. In a bent lever of uniform density and thick- 
 ness, whose arms are (a) and (a 7 ), (a) being 
 parallel to the horizon and weighing (6) lbs; com- 
 pare P and W, when the inclination of the arms 
 is (0), and P (acting at end of arm a ) is inclined 
 at Z(0 7 )> and W at Z(0"). 
 
 5. Prove the general proposition of the wedge ; 
 apply the result to the case of an equilateral wedge, 
 where the power on the back acts perpendicularly, 
 and the resistances on the sides are equal and act 
 perpendicularly to the back. 
 
 6. A straight lever is parallel to the horizon; 
 given its length, given a weight P hung at one 
 end ; required the variation of the position of the 
 
256 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 fulcrum supposing W to vary in arithmetic pro- 
 gression. 
 
 7. A body G is kept 
 at rest by three forces 
 proportional to AG, 
 
 BG, CG ; G is centre 
 of gravity of the triangle 
 formed by joining A, 
 
 B, C. 
 
 8. If with centre of gravity of any number of 
 bodies as centre, and with any radius a circle be 
 described, the sum of the products of each body, 
 and the square of its distance from any assumed 
 point in circumference is constant. 
 
 9. Prove that in perfect elasticity Aa 2 + B5 2 = 
 Ap 2 + Bg 2 , where a and b are the velocities of A 
 and B before impact, and p and q after. Compare 
 also elasticity and compression when Aa n + B6 n = 
 Ap n -f B q n . 
 
 10. In a single moveable pulley, where the 
 strings passing under the moveable pulley are not 
 parallel, compare P and W ; first, when the 
 strings are equally ; secondly, when they are un- 
 equally inclined to the horizon. 
 
 11. An imperfectly elastic ball falls perpendicu- 
 larly from a height («) ; Required whole space 
 
EXAMINATION. 257 
 
 by ball after 5 rebounds, and the greatest height 
 after last rebound. 
 
 12. Assuming the time of oscillation, to equal 
 the time of describing semi-circle, &c., investigate 
 the actual value of the time of oscillation, and 
 thence, compare it with time down axis. 
 
 13. In inclined planes, P : W: : W’s velocity 
 : P’s. 
 
 14. Determine the expressions for range and 
 greatest height, upon a plane passing through 
 point of projection ; and compare greatest height 
 of all parabolas with a given velocity to farthest 
 range. 
 
 15. AH is a vertical 
 diameter ; HP A, C E A 
 two contiguous circles 
 touching in A. Prove 
 the time down BC, 
 DE, &c. to be con- 
 stant. 
 
 IT 
 
 A 
 
 16. If a body is kept at rest by three forces, 
 and lines be drawn at any equal angles to the direc- 
 tions in which they act, forming a triangle, the 
 sides of the triangle represent the quantities of 
 the forces. 
 
 VOL, i. 
 
 s 
 
258 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 17. If 3 forces are represented by 3 sides form- 
 ing the solid angle of a parallelopiped, the result- 
 ing force is the diagonal of the parallelopiped. 
 
 If the 3 forces are equal and act in planes per- 
 pendicular to each other, compare the compound 
 force with them. 
 
 18. A is vertex of 
 triangular pyramid, G 
 is centre of gravity. If 
 upon body at G forces 
 act in directions AG, 
 
 EG, CG, DG, and 
 proportional to them, it 
 remains at rest. 
 
 19. A uniform beam 
 AB is moveable about 
 fixt point A, and sup- 
 ported by given weight 
 P over fixt pulley C ; AC is equal to AB and 
 parallel to horizon. Required position in which 
 AB rests. 
 
 20. Make a body oscillate in a given cycloid. 
 
 21. VP — i radius; 
 
 MN perpendicular the 
 diameter. Cycloidal 
 area MVN = ^ hexa- 
 gon inscribed in the circle. 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 259 
 
 22. Compare times of describing vertical dia- 
 meter and any other ; required also that diameter, 
 the time through which = 2 time down vertical 
 diameter. 
 
 23. If the number of oscillations performed in 
 same time by two pendulums (whose lengths are 
 L and l) be as m : m-j-w. Compare force of gra- 
 vity at the two heights. 
 
 24. If one pendulum is at a distance of (w) 
 radii from the earth’s centre, at what point below 
 the surface, must another of equal length be placed 
 to vibrate in same time ? 
 
 About half-past nine the Hall is again empty, 
 and the Examinees are again refreshing, some 
 their memories, others their bodies. For my 
 own part, feeling now pretty easy as to the result 
 of the contest, I spent the entire evening with a 
 few of my most esteemed friends in the utmost 
 conviviality ; retiring, however, at about eleven, to 
 recruit for the next morning. That epoch having 
 arrived, the Sophs work the Papers following. 
 
260 
 
 EXAMINATION, 
 
 TRINITY COLLEGE. 
 
 NEWTON AND CONICS. 
 
 1. Explain by short examples, the method of 
 exhaustions; of indivisibles, and of prime and ulti- 
 mate ratios. 
 
 2. Prove that if a radius vector be drawn 
 bisecting any arc, it must ultimately bisect the 
 chord. 
 
 3. If a straight line EDA make with the 
 curve CBA a given angle at the point A, and the 
 ordinates CE, BD be drawn ; the triangles ACE, 
 ABD, are ultimately in the duplicate ratio of the 
 sides. 
 
 4. Let AB be the subtense of the arc, AD the 
 tangent, BD the subtense of the angle of contact 
 perpendicular to the tangent, as in the 11th 
 lemma : then let a series of curves be drawn in 
 which DBcc AD 4 , AD 5 , AD 6 , &c., the angle of 
 contact in each succeeding case will be infinitely 
 less than in the preceding. 
 
 5. If the areas described by the radius vector 
 are not proportional to the times, the revolving 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 261 
 
 body is not acted on solely by a force towards a 
 fixed centre. 
 
 6. If a body be acted on by a given force and 
 revolve in a circle, the arc described in any given 
 time is a mean proportional between the diameter 
 of the circle and the space through which a body 
 would descend in the same time from rest if acted 
 on by the same force. 
 
 7. The velocity at any point of a curve de 
 scribed round a centre of force = the velocity 
 which a body, acted on by the given force at that 
 point, would acquire by descending through ^ part 
 of the chord of curvature. 
 
 8. Given the force of gravity = 32 feet, and 
 the radius of the earth = 4000 miles ; deduce a 
 numerical comparison between the force of gravity 
 and the centrifugal force at the equator. 
 
 9. If a heavy body be whirled round in a ver- 
 tical plane, and the centrifugal force at the top 
 just keep the string extended ; what will be the 
 tension of the string at the lowest point of rotation ? 
 
 10. In any orbit, let x = dist. p = perpen- 
 dicular on the tangent : centripetal force a 
 Apply this expression to determine the law of the 
 
262 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 force in an ellipse round the centre, and in a circle 
 with the centre of the force in the circumference. 
 
 1] . Deduce expressions for the chord of curva- 
 ture passing through the focus, and the diameter 
 of the curvature at any point of an ellipse. 
 
 12. All parallelograms described about any 
 conjugate diameters of a given ellipse or hyperbola 
 are of equal area. 
 
 13. Compare the centripetal and centrifugal 
 forces at any point of an orbit ; prove that in an 
 ellipse round the centre, there are four points 
 where these forces are equal. 
 
 14. Prove (Newton, Prop. XI.) that G^x^P 
 : Qv 2 : : CP 2 : CD 2 . 
 
 15. The perpendicular from the focus of a 
 parabola upon the tangent is a mean proportional 
 between the focal distances of the point of contact 
 and the vertex. 
 
 16. Prove that the force tending to the focus 
 of a parabola a -jp. 
 
 17. The velocity of a body revolving in a para- 
 bola round the focus = the velocity of a body re- 
 volving in a circle at half the distance. 
 
 18. If two bodies revolve in an ellipse in the 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 263 
 
 same periodic time ; one about the focus, and the 
 other about the centre ; compare the forces to- 
 wards these centres at the extremities of the major 
 axis, and find the distance from the centres at 
 which the forces are equal. 
 
 19. If the force a ~ an ^ a body be projected 
 
 in any direction, except directly to or from the 
 centre of force ; prove that it will describe a conic 
 section, and point out the relation between the 
 velocity of projection and the particular curve 
 described. 
 
 TRINITY COLLEGE. 
 
 SPHERICAL TRIGONOMETRY. 
 
 1. Every plane section of a sphere is a circle. 
 
 2. The sum of the three angles of a spherical 
 triangle is greater than two, and less than six, 
 right angles. 
 
 3. The angles of a spherical triangle are A, B, 
 C ; the sides respectively opposite to them, 
 
264 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 (a), (A), (c) ; the rad. of the sphere = 1. Prove 
 the following theorems : 
 
 cos. c — cos. a x cos. b 
 
 I. Cos. C = 
 
 II. 
 
 sin. a x sin. b 
 sin. A sin. B sin. C 
 
 sm. a 
 
 sin. b 
 
 sm. c 
 
 III. Tang.*(A + B)= Cotan. i C .— 
 
 ° 2V 2 cos -i(a + b) 
 
 Ta„g.i(A — B)=C.an.*C.||^ 
 
 IY. If(a + Z>4 c) = S 
 
 5 in ‘(l~ a ) xsin -(|-- 4 5 6 7 ) 
 
 sin. 2 A C = 
 
 sin. a x sin. b 
 
 cos. 
 
 21 
 
 
 x sin.(f -c) 
 
 sin. a x sin. b 
 
 4. What are the general theorems deduced by 
 the application of the formulas I. and III. to the 
 polar triangle ? 
 
 5. Prove Napier’s rules for that case in which 
 the complement of an angle is the middle part. 
 
 6. Given the obliquity of the ecliptic, the right- 
 ascension and declination of a star ; find the angle 
 of position in terms of those quantities. 
 
 7. In a spherical triangle, two sides and the in- 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 265 
 
 eluded angle are given : —Required the third side 
 in a form suited to logarithmic computations ? 
 
 8. Find the area of a spherical triangle. 
 
 And the Freshmen had these 
 
 PROPOSITIONS IN PLANE 
 GEOMETRY. 
 
 1. If the exterior angle of a triangle be bisected 
 by a straight line which also cuts the base pro- 
 duced, the segments between the bisecting line 
 and the extremities of the base, have the same 
 ratio which the other sides of the triangle have to 
 one another. Shew that the converse is also true. 
 
 2. Equiangular parallelograms have to one 
 another the ratio which is compounded of the 
 ratios of their sides. 
 
 3. The rectangle contained by the diagonals of 
 any quadrilateral figure inscribed in a circle is 
 equal to the sum of the rectangles contained by its 
 opposite sides, 
 
 4. If the exterior angle of a triangle be bisected, 
 and also one of the interior and opposite, the angle 
 contained by the bisecting lines is equal to half 
 the other interior and opposite angle of the 
 triangle. 
 
266 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 5. (1). If upon the sides BA, CA, of any 
 triangle, any two parallelograms be drawn, 
 and their sides produced to meet in K and 
 KA be joined, then the parallelogram con- 
 structed upon the base BC, with one side 
 equal and parallel to KA, will be equal to 
 the sum of the other two. 
 
 (2). When the triangle becomes right-angled 
 at A and the parallelograms on the sides be- 
 come squares, show' that the parallelogram 
 on the base is also a square. (This is = 
 Prop. 47. Eucl. B. I.) 
 
 6. The square described upon the side of a 
 regular polygon inscribed in any circle is equal to 
 the sum of the squares described upon the sides of 
 a regular hexagon and decagon inscribed in the 
 same circle. 
 
 7. If a straight line be drawn from C, the point 
 of bisection of a given arc ACB, cutting the chord 
 AB or the chord produced in any point E and the 
 circumference of the circle in D, prove that in 
 each case the rectangle contained by CD and CE 
 is equal to the square described on CB. 
 
 8. The greatest of all straight lines passing 
 through either of the points of intersection of two 
 given circles which cut each other, and terminated 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 267 
 
 both ways by the two circumferences, is that which 
 is parallel to the line joining the centres of the 
 two circles. 
 
 9- If the sides of a regular polygon of n sides 
 be produced to meet, the sum of the angles made 
 by the lines thus produced at the points of inter- 
 section is equal to 2n — 8 right angles. 
 
 10. Represent the arithmetic, geometric, and 
 harmonic means, between two given lines geo- 
 metrically. 
 
 11. The centre of the circle circumscribed about 
 any triangle, the point of intersection of the per- 
 pendiculars let fall from the angular points of the 
 same triangle to the opposite sides, and the point 
 of intersection of the lines joining the angular 
 points with the middle of the opposite sides, all lie 
 in the same right line. 
 
 12. If four circles touch each either internally 
 or externally, three sides of any quadrilateral 
 figure, the centres of these circles will lie in the 
 circumference of the same circle. 
 
 13. Describe a circle passing through a given 
 point which shall touch both a given circle and a 
 given straight line. 
 
 14. If from the centre and angular points of a 
 regular hexagon perpendiculars be drawn to any 
 
268 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 given right line, six times the perpendicular from 
 the centre is equal to the sum of the perpendiculars 
 from the angular points. 
 
 TRINITY COLLEGE. 
 
 PLANE TRIGONOMETRY. 
 
 1. Trace the signs of the Sine, Cosine, Tan- 
 gent, and Secant, through the circle. 
 
 2. Transform the formula, 
 
 (cos. A) m + a. (cos. A) w . (sin. B) p + b . (cos. A) ? . 
 (sin. C) r + &c. where the radius = 1, to an equi- 
 valent formula, where the radius = r ; and prove 
 the rule. 
 
 3. Given the sines and cosines of two arcs A 
 andB; it is required to find sin. (A + B) and 
 sin. (A — B). 
 
 4. Prove that, sin. (A-fB).sin. (A — B) = 
 (sin. A) 2 — (sin. B) 2 , and cos. (A + B) .cos. (A — B) 
 = (cos. A) 2 — (sin. B) 2 . 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 269 
 
 6. Tan. ( 45 ° + A) — Tan. ( 45 ° — A) -f 
 2 Tan. 2 A. Prove this, and explain what is meant 
 by a Formula of Verification. 
 
 7. Tan. A + cotan. A = 2 cosec. 2 A. 
 
 Tan. A cotan. A = 2 cotan. 2xA. 
 
 8. In any triangle, the sum of any two sides 
 : their difference : : the tangent of half the sum of 
 the angles subtended by those sides : the tangent 
 of half their difference. 
 
 9. Given the sine of l 7 ; show how the sines of 
 all arcs from to 90 ° may be found, rad. = 1. 
 
 10. Given two sides of a triangle, and an angle 
 opposite to one of them, solve the triangle ; and 
 show the ambiguity in this case. 
 
 11. Given two sides and the included angle; 
 solve the triangle. 
 
 12. Explain the method of finding the distance 
 between two visible but inaccessible objects on an 
 horizontal plane ; and show how the requisite 
 triangles are to be solved. 
 
 13. Two sides of a triangle and the angle in- 
 cluded being given, find the area of the triangle. 
 
 14. The perimeter and the three angles of a 
 triangle being given, find each of the sides. 
 
270 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 At three being again called together, the Sophs 
 were to display their astronomical acquirements on 
 the paper below. 
 
 TRINITY COLLEGE. 
 
 ASTRONOMY. 
 
 1. By what arguments is it inferred that the 
 Earth revolves about its axis, and about the Sun ? 
 
 2. Find the right ascension and declination of 
 a comet, when its distance from two known stars is 
 given. 
 
 3. Required the time of the Sun’s transit over 
 the vertical wires of a telescope, on a given day at 
 a given place. 
 
 4. The apparent meridian altitude of the Sun’s 
 lower limb = 53 ° 40', his apparent semi-diameter 
 = 15° 5 O', his mean refraction = 29", the parallax 
 = 4".5, collimation=34".5, and declination = 1 6° 
 13'. Find the latitude of the place of observation. 
 
 5. The altitude of the Sun was observed to be 
 half of his declination at 6 o'clock. Prove that 
 
-EXAMINATION. 27 1 
 
 twice the sine of the latitude of the place = the 
 secant of the Sun’s altitude. 
 
 6. There are two places on the same meridian, 
 whose latitudes are the complements of each other, 
 and on a given day the Sun rises an hour sooner 
 at one place than at the other. Required the 
 latitudes of the two places. 
 
 7. If A and a be the altitudes of a star, on the 
 
 same vertical circle on the same day, ( d) the 
 
 declination of the star, and (l) the latitude of 
 
 A ^ a 
 
 . cos. 
 
 sin. / 2 
 
 the place, ^ == ~- j —- ; Required a proof, 
 
 sin. — 
 
 2 
 
 8. Construct a vertical south-east dial, for a 
 given place. 
 
 , 9. When the Sun is in the equinoctial, the 
 locus of the extremities of the shadow cast by a 
 perpendicular object upon an horizontal plane is a 
 straight line. 
 
 10. If a body revolve uniformly in a circular 
 orbit, it is retained in that orbit by a force which 
 tends to the centre of the circle ; and if the periodic 
 
 11. Determine the quantity of refraction by 
 
272 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 observations made upon the circumpolar stars. 
 When will this method fail ? 
 
 12. The parallax of a planet in right ascension 
 being given, it is required to find the distance of 
 the planet from the earth’s centre, the earth being 
 supposed spherical. 
 
 13. The sine of the excentric anomaly: the 
 sine of the true anomaly : : the radius vector : the 
 semi-axis minor. 
 
 14. Find the distance of a planet from the Sun. 
 
 15. Suppose an eclipse of the Moon to last 
 three hours ; to how great a portion of the Earth 
 will some part of it be visible ? 
 
 16. Prove that when the first point of Aries, 
 rises, the ecliptic makes the least angle of the 
 horizon ; and explain from thence the phenomenon 
 of the harvest Moon. 
 
 17. When will the right ascension and declina- 
 tion of a star be diminished, and when increased, 
 by the retrograde motion of the equinoctial points ? 
 
 18. The equation of time arising from the 
 obliquity of the ecliptic is a maximum, when the 
 cosine of the Sun’s declination is a mean propor- 
 tional between the radius and the cosine of the 
 obliquity. 
 
 19. Find the aberration of a star in latitude on 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 273 
 
 a given day, and also the aberration of a planet in 
 longitude. 
 
 20, Explain the method of determining the 
 difference of longitude of two places on the Earth’s 
 surface, by means of a chronometer ; and state the 
 errors to which this method is liable. 
 
 Whilst the Freshmen were as intent upon 
 “ clearing ” this one. 
 
 TRINITY COLLEGE. 
 
 ALGEBRA. 
 
 I2* ^ ^ 
 
 1. Prove that an integer, and shew 
 
 that 
 
 a” + b 
 
 a — b 
 
 is an integer or a fraction, according as 
 
 a-f h 
 
 (w) is odd or even. 
 
 2. Expand — -—zz} write down the rth term 
 
 a — x~ 
 
 8 
 
 of a— and extract the cube root of# 6 4- 
 
 1 2 — 6r 3 . 
 
 3. Solve the following equations : 
 yol. i. t 
 
274 
 
 EXAMINATION 
 
 (a) mx + x—^b + Zx 
 
 (j3) ^4 a + x=2 A /b + x — x. 
 
 (?) \/^+ ^ % — V^— ^ = - V 7="’ 
 
 2 v #-f- v# 
 
 (8) 12^£+_£_ = il. 
 
 ^ 10— * 4 
 
 q r 
 
 (0 3x ~— =y l — zn 
 
 f + X-4: ‘ 
 
 (?) -+-=\/i+s/-4- 2 + ^ 
 
 x a y a y a 2 x 2 x 4 
 (n) a^=- 1. 
 
 4. Insert f m^) harmonic means between (a) and 
 
 <*). 
 
 5. If, between all the terms of an arithmetical 
 progression, the same number of arithmetic means 
 be inserted, the new series will still form an arith- 
 metical progression. 
 
 6. Sum the following series : 
 
 2 + 5 4- 8 + &c. to (8) terms. 
 
 7, 5, 3, &c. to (5) terms 
 
 1 
 
 1.2 
 
 1 1 
 
 2 , 3 2 2.3 3 
 
 + &c. ad infin. 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 275 
 
 J_ L + — &c. .. to (4) terms. 
 
 a 
 
 1 _ 
 
 r 
 
 a + 6 
 
 + 
 
 a + 2b 
 
 + &c. ad infin. 
 
 1+5 + 13 + 29-1-61 + &c. to ( n ) terms. 
 
 7. What is the number of permutations of (n) 
 things, of which there are fp) of one sort (q) of 
 another, and (r) of a third ? And shew that the 
 total number of combinations which (n) things 
 admit of, = 2” — 1. 
 
 8. A, who travels only every other day, sets off 
 from a certain place nine days after B, in order to 
 overtake him, but travels four times as fast as B 
 does. When will they come together ? 
 
 9. Divide the number 35 into two such parts, 
 that the square of the less divided by the differ- 
 ence of the two parts =45. 
 
 10. A person owes d?150, to be paid at the end 
 of nine months ; and <£ 60 , at the end of six 
 months. Required the equated time of payment, 
 and investigate the rule. 
 
 11. a : b is a ratio where (a) is prime to ( b ). 
 They are the least in that proportion — and shew 
 that a + x) m : a m very nearly in the proportion of 
 a + mr: a, when (x) is small compared with (a). 
 
 t 2 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 27 ( > 
 
 12. Required the square root of 5 — 4 ^ 3, and 
 of g v / — 4 — 3 . 
 
 13. Required the discount upon dPlOO, due 
 three months hence, at 4^ per cent, per annum. 
 
 14. Find the present worth of an annuity (A) 
 to continue for (nj years at simple interest. 
 
 15. What is the present worth of an annuity of 
 £G0, to commence in two years, and to continue 
 for ever at 3| per cent, per annum. 
 
 16. Given the log. of 8*1 213 = *9096256. It 
 is required to state the log. of 812*13; and of 
 *81213 ; and of *081213. 
 
 17. Resolve^ 17 into a continued fraction. 
 
 18. Required a number, such, that divided by 
 5, 4, 3, respectively, it may leave remainders 2, 3, 
 4, respectively. 
 
 19. The difference between any number, and 
 that number inverted, is divisible by the local value 
 minus one . 
 
 On the fourth morning was given the annexed 
 papers in Metaphysics and Moral Philosophy. 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 277 
 
 TRINITY COLLEGE* 
 
 LOCKE. 
 
 1. Where does Locke break through his 
 original design in the essay on the Human Un“ 
 derstanding ? Assign the reason of his doing so. 
 
 2. How does Locke prove the existence of 
 Ideas ? Give his arguments against innate ideas. 
 
 3. Experience is two-fold : — explain its two 
 sources. 
 
 4. Give the principal differences between Hard- 
 ness and Solidity. — Is a hard body more solid than 
 a soft one ? 
 
 5. For what reasons are Pleasure and Pain 
 connected with all our ideas ? 
 
 6. How do we obtain the idea of Power ? Is the 
 idea of power simple or complex? How many 
 fold is Power ? What are the two Powers of the 
 Mind ? 
 
 7. Define Liberty; explain how far Liberty 
 and Volition may have place independently of 
 each other. 
 
 8. Explain Primary and Secondary Qualities, 
 and give instances of each. 
 
278 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 9. Why are the ideas in Secondary Qualities 
 not resemblances ? 
 
 10. Prove the idea of Heat not in the Fire. 
 
 11. How do we acquire the idea of Duration ? 
 and how do we obtain any measure of it ? Show 
 that our idea of Duration is independent of 
 Motion. 
 
 12. How does Locke prove, from the opinions of 
 Philosophers, that abstract ideas are Essences ? 
 
 13. What are mixt Modes ? and how do we ac- 
 quire the idea of them ? 
 
 14. Explain Identity, and Diversity. 
 
 15. In what does the identity of Vegetables 
 consist ? in what personal identity ? 
 
 16. Define Virtue and Vice : — what are the 
 common measures of them ? 
 
 17. What is Abstraction ? — Show the difference 
 between it and Generalization. 
 
 18. Give Locke’s definition of Judgment; can 
 it exist independently of words ? 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 279 
 
 TRINITY COLLEGE. 
 
 QUESTIONS IN MORAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 1. Define Moral Philosophy ; and show in 
 what the necessity of this science consists. 
 
 2. What is meant by the Moral Sense ? What 
 are the arguments for and against its existence ? 
 and what is your own opinion upon the subject ? 
 
 3. How does Dr. Paley define Virtue ? In 
 what ways has it been defined or distinguished by 
 other moralists ? 
 
 4. Show in what sense a moral obligation is 
 said to depend upon its utility : and defend the 
 position ? 
 
 5. Explain and illustrate Dr. Paley’ s Division 
 of Rights. 
 
 6. In what sense are promises to be interpreted ? 
 Explain the nature of tacit promises . 
 
 7. In what cases is a promise binding which 
 has been given under an erroneous supposition ? 
 and in what is it not binding ? 
 
 8. What is the foundation, and what the gene- 
 ral benefit of the Right of Property ? Show 
 
280 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 the fundamental errors of those who contend for 
 the equality of property. 
 
 9. What are the different descriptions of false- 
 hood ? and what is the degree of guilt in each ? 
 
 10. What is required by a Subscription to 
 Articles of Religion ? 
 
 11. What are our duties towards our inferiors 
 and dependents ? Show the futility of the pre- 
 tences by which some people excuse themselves 
 from giving to the poor. 
 
 12. What is Revenge ? Show that it is pro- 
 hibited both by Reason and by Scripture. 
 
 13. Explain the guilt, the inefficacy, and the 
 absurdity of Duelling. 
 
 14. What are the different duties of Children 
 to their Parents ? — And upon what does their 
 obligation rest ? 
 
 15. In what does the criminality of Drunken- 
 ness consist ? In what degree does it apply to 
 persons guilty of casual excesses only ? 
 
 16. Show distinctly the duty and the efficacy 
 of public and private prayer. What are the par- 
 ticular advantages of a Liturgy ? 
 
 17. Explain the obligation upon Christians to 
 comply with the religious observance of Sunday. 
 
 18. Upon what is the duty of submission to 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 281 
 
 Civil Government founded ? — How far can it be 
 said to be enjoined by Christianity ? 
 
 19. What are the advantages and disadvan- 
 tages of each of the three simple forms of Govern- 
 ment ? In what does the peculiar excellence of 
 the British Constitution consist ? 
 
 20. Show the necessity of keeping the Legisla- 
 tive and Judicial Characters distinct. What are 
 the different securities for the impartial adminis- 
 tration of Justice? 
 
 After which, in the afternoon, we had this one 
 upon the Gospels. 
 
 TRINITY COLLEGE. 
 
 ST. LUKE’S GOSPEL* 
 
 1. Explain the word AiadrtKn as applied to 
 the records of the Jewish and Christian Dispensa- 
 tions ? Does it ever in ancient Greek authors 
 bear the meaning of a Will or Testament ? On 
 what express authority from the New Testament, 
 may the propriety of so rendering the word here, 
 be maintained ? And does the same authority ex- 
 clude the other significations, or not ? 
 
282 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 2. Translate literally, and explain the intro- 
 
 duction to St. Luke’s Gospel, EttelS^ttep 7 roXXot 
 eTTe\eLpi](rav avara^aaQai Siriyriaiv 7 repl rwv 
 7T£7rX?jpo^o/n7jU£vwv iv riplv npayparcvv, KaOwg 
 7 raptSoaav rfpiv ol an ap^pg avronraL ical vmr)pE- 
 tgl yEvopEvot tov \6yov' Kcipol napiycoXov- 
 
 OriKori av(jj9ev naaiv aicpifiCog, KaOc^rig aoi 
 y paipai, KpariGTE Oeo^iXe, iva iniyvcog nEpl wv 
 KaTY]\i)9r]g \6ywv rrjv aacpaXEiav. How far in 
 your opinion do the expressions in the first verse 
 countenance the supposition of a common docu- 
 ment, or Aifiyrimg, by the assistance of which, this 
 and other histories of Christ were compiled ? — 
 Which of the other three canonical Gospels may 
 possibly be included among these ? Give some 
 account of them, stating in what they principally 
 differ from the one before us — for whose use, and 
 in what language they were respectively written. 
 
 What is known respecting St. Luke, his pro- 
 fession and history ? — and how much of it do we 
 learn from himself? What remarkable testimony 
 is very probably suspected to relate to him, where 
 no name is mentioned ? Does his professional 
 character appear in the mention of any circumstance 
 or saying omitted by the other Evangelists ? 
 
 3. Ch. I. 5. ’Ey eveto iv ralg ripe paig H pdoSov 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 . 283 
 
 rov (3acnXaa>e rij c ’IovSafae.— Give some account 
 of the origin and family of Herod. And what 
 distinguished prophecy was fulfilled by our 
 Saviour’s appearing at the close of his reign ? 
 
 4. Ch. I. 39, liropvOri tig tt\v opaivrjv para 
 cnroucJrjc, ale ttqXiv ’Io uSa. What is your version 
 of this passage, and the reasons of it ? What 
 country and what city are here meant ? 
 
 5. Kat iSoif lyip a 7 ro(TTaXCj vplv ’H Xiav tqv 
 OaajS'iTriv (the words rov 0£<r. are an unauthorized 
 addition of the translator) np\v aXOeiv rrjv ripepav 
 Kvpcov payaXr]v k at anKpavi}' og a?roicaTa<xr//<m 
 Kap^iav irct rpog 7Tpbg vlov, feat Kapdiav iivOpw nov 
 TTpog top 7 rXrjcriov avrov, pi) aXOco tccti irarat^o) rrjv 
 yriv apSriv LXX. Version of Malaclii iii. 23. 
 
 With what variation is this passage quoted in 
 the first chapter of St. Luke, and to whom is it 
 applied ? — Translate and explain the second clause 
 of it. Who was the ancient Elias 6 0£o-j3 irr\g ? — 
 under what circumstances is he introduced else- 
 where in this gospel ? — and in what did the extra- 
 ordinary person so designated here, resemble him ? 
 
 6. Of what more ancient hymn is that of the 
 Virgin Mary an imitation M ay aXvvai b '<pvxn pov 
 k, r. A. ?— and point out the circumstances of 
 similarity in the occasions that gave birth to each 
 
284 
 
 EXAMIN ATION. 
 
 7. Ch. II. 7. Kal £T£K£ TOV VLOV aVTtjg TOV 
 
 TTpCOTOTOKOV KCU £(JTVapyaV(x)CT£V aiJTOV Kal CLV£k\lV£1' 
 
 avrov iv rrj (parvrj, Siotl ovk rfv avrolg Toirog iv 
 tco KaraXvfiaTL . Give what- you conceive to be 
 the proper punctuation and meaning of this verse, 
 especially the words Qarvy and KaTaXvpaTi ; how 
 would the probable meaning be affected, if with 
 several MSS. we dropped the article before the 
 former word ? What is the most probable opinion 
 respecting the place and the time of year of the 
 birth of our Saviour ? Explain the Eastern 
 custom, and Jewish division of time, alluded to in 
 the following verse: Kal iroipwg r\(jav iv rrj 
 
 rrj avry aypav\ovvT£g Kal <pv\taJGOVT£g 
 (j)v\aKag Trig WKTog £7rl tt)v Troipvy]v aiiTOJV. 
 
 8. Ch. III. 1. Ev £T£L Si 7T£VT£KaiS£KaT(0 Ttjg 
 rjy£juovlag Tifiepiou Kaiaapog — From what period 
 is this year dated, and why ? riy£pov£vovTog 
 Uovtlov EhAdrou Trig lovSulag. How far did the 
 jurisdiction of the governor of Judaea extend? 
 What is his Roman title, and by what Greek word 
 is it usually expressed ? Give some, account of all 
 Pilate’s predecessors in this office — of his own cha- 
 racter, as it may be collected from various instances 
 in this Gospel and elsewhere — the time and 
 manner of his leaving the government, and his 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 285 
 
 fate afterwards — and of his successors mentioned 
 in the Acts of the Apostles. Terpap^ovvrog Trig 
 TaXiXaLag HpwSou, <E>iXt7T7r ot> §£ rov aStXcjjov 
 avroi) TtTpapyovvTog Trig Iroupcuac fca t T pa^ojvi- 
 TL$og yyjpag, icai Avaaviov Trig ’A/3 i\rivr]g TtTpap- 
 y^ovvrog. By whom, and on what occasion were 
 Tetrarchs appointed ? Why are three only here 
 mentioned, and what is the history of the fourth ? 
 By what other title is any one of these elsewhere 
 called by St. Luke ? Draw a Map of Palestine, 
 and the adjacent country, according to these divi- 
 sions, specifying besides only Jersusalem, Caper- 
 naum, Bethlehem, Nazareth, Jericho, the river 
 Jordan, the lake of Gennesareth, and the Dead 
 Sea (under their several names). 
 
 Ver. 2. £7rt ap^iepewv *'A vva koi Katana — 
 What is the true reading of this passage ? From 
 what circumstance related in another Gospel may 
 it be determined which of these two was the true 
 high-priest ? How is this double pontificate ac- 
 counted for ? Is it agreeable to the Mosaic law? — 
 and is there any parallel instance in Jewish his- 
 tory ? In what cases was a substitute allowed, and 
 by what name was he called ? 
 
 9. State your opinion respecting the Saj3j3aroi/ 
 SsvrepoTrpojTov, ch. VI. v. 1. and the grounds of 
 
286 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 it. How was the Pentecost computed from the 
 Passover ? Describe very briefly the origin and 
 nature of these festivals ; and what leading events 
 in the Christian history happened at each re- 
 spectively. In what did the times of their cele- 
 bration differ from those of the Christian festivals 
 appointed to commemorate those events ? Did 
 our Lord institute the Eucharist during the regular 
 Paschal Supper, or not ? What difference of 
 opinion has generally existed upon this point, and 
 to what schism in the ancient Church did it give 
 rise ? 
 
 10. Ch. XII. 46. /Xiyprop.y)(JEi avrov , feat to 
 
 juitpog avrov per a ruv drrlcrrtov OrjvEi. Translate 
 this passage, and illustrate it from the practice 
 of the Homans with respect to captives, criminals, 
 and insolvent debtors. 
 
 11. Relate the occasion of the following mes- 
 sage : HopEvOzvTEg a ? rare rr? aXivireia ravry' l^ov 
 £fcj3aXA(o Saipovta. feat lacreig ettiteXCo crrjpEpov iccu 
 avpcov, feat rrj rpiry TE\Eiovpai. ttXtiv Sei [ie 
 mipEpov koI avpiov ical rrf E)(OpEvy] 7ropEVE(jQaL' on 
 ovk EvSi^Erat 7 rpofpfirrjv ai toXegQul e%oj lEpov- 
 (raXrjp. Translate these words, and briefly ex- 
 plain the purport of them. How is this particular 
 application of the word teXelovpul explained from 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 any other part of the New Testament ? And 
 how is the prediction at the close of the same 
 speech verified by the event ? on ov pi 7 pe 
 ecog av ore eh rrjra m evXoynplvog 6 lp\opevog 
 
 lv OVOpCLTL KVpLOV. 
 
 12. Ch. XV. 1 . O LTzXCivai kol oi apapnoXol. 
 What is the Roman word corresponding to reXibvng 
 in the gospels ? What, to dp^LreXdjvng ? De- 
 scribe the offices and general characters of these 
 two classes respectively, as they were in the Roman 
 provinces generally, and in J udasa in particular. 
 What other reason had the J ews, beside the usual 
 character and behaviour of the reXCjvai , for class- 
 ing them with sinners ? — and was this reason ap- 
 proved by our Lord, or not ? Quote some of the 
 proverbial sayings of the Jews concerning them. — - 
 Give instances of their characteristic vices, — 
 and of remarkable conversions of the reXatvat and 
 apxiTeXwvai to the Christian faith. 
 
 13. Ch. XVI. 31 . Ei Mw(j£wc kol rw v 
 7TpO(j)r}Td)v ovk avLOvovcnv, ovSe lav ng Ik veKpiov 
 dvaary , TTELvOriGOVTai. Who is the speaker of 
 these words ? and to what parable do they belong ? 
 By what fact in our Saviour’s history was their 
 truth remarkably confirmed, and by whom is that 
 fact related ? — What sect admitted Moses and the 
 
288 
 
 EXAMINATION. 
 
 Prophets, but denied the resurrection ? Give some 
 account of their origin and doctrines, and in what 
 . they differed from other Jewish sects, that of the 
 Pharisees in particular. To which sect do the 
 Jews of the present day for the most part belong, 
 —and what is the exception ? 
 
 1 4. How many different classes of ministers did 
 our Saviour appoint before his resurrection ? — and 
 what was the difference of their offices ? Enume- 
 rate those of the higher class, stating the changes 
 that took place among them afterwards. Was 
 any addition ever made to their number ? And 
 wherein, according to St. Luke and St. John, did 
 their commission after our Lord’s ascension prin- 
 cipally differ from their commission before ? — 
 What was the number of the second class, as 
 stated in the common text of St. Luke, and what 
 variation exists on this point ? 
 
 15. To whom, and on what occasion, were the 
 following words addressed ? Aa Tr\r]pu)6rjvat 
 7 ravra ra yeypappeva Iv toj vojujl) Mwortwc icai 
 7rpo(j)r)TaiQ , icat \paXpoic, 7 repl epov. Confirm this 
 by testimonies from these three sources (the Pen- 
 tateuch, the Prophets, and the Psalms) respecting 
 the part of the Messiah’s character there alluded to. 
 
 16. Enumerate the different meanings of the 
 
EXAMINATION. 
 
 289 
 
 phrase Kingdom of God , or Kingdom of Heaven— 
 and produce instances of each of these meanings 
 from St. Luke. [To which of the Evangelists is 
 the latter form peculiar ?] In what sense is it to 
 be taken in the following passage, ovk ipyeTai 
 ficKnXeta too 0 goo perci 7rapaTnpv<yE0)g ovSi 
 ipovcnv , iSoif wde 9 rj, iSoi) IkeV ISov 7 ap, 7] (Sao-iXeia 
 Ivto g vptSv IgtIv. Translate and explain it. 
 
 17. liemove the objection that might be raised 
 from the following verses to the doctrine of 
 the Greek article, as stated by Dr, Middleton. 
 'Orav iSr]Te ttiv p£<pe\rjv dvariXXovcrav arro 
 Svcr/Luov, EvOuog Xe^ete, opj3pog EpyETaC k al 
 yivETcu ovTto. Ch< XII. 54 . 
 
 ’E^A Oev elq to opog TTpoGEv^aodca, i cat fjv 
 SlClVVKTEpEVCOV EV Tvj TTpQGEVyff TOO 0£OO. 
 
 Ch. VI. 12. 
 
 Translate these passages — and give reasons for 
 the interpretation you adopt of the words opog and 
 7rpo(TEvxp in the latter. 
 
 18. Give a very short abstract of the history 
 of the Hebrew nation, from the calling of Abra- 
 ham to the time of Alexander the Great — speci- 
 fying the dates of their several migrations, con- 
 quests, and changes of government-—and noticing 
 von. i. tr 
 
290 
 
 CLASSIFICATION. 
 
 any persons or circumstances that you know to be 
 mentioned by any ancient Greek writer. 
 
 With this ended the General Examination, and 
 the termination was hailed with joy and thanks- 
 giving by all those who had reason to be satisfied 
 with their doings. Others you would observe, 
 who having found it, when too late, “ one thing 
 to read and another to write,” plunged into the 
 depths of despair. A third set, feeling the me- 
 diocrity of their achievements, were even more 
 pitiable in their physiognomies than the Forlorn 
 Hope, being agitated in a two-fold degree — by 
 hope and by despair. 
 
 The vast piles of papers produced during the 
 Examination had not only occupied the whole time 
 of the examiners themselves almost night and day 
 in the perusal, but assistance had also been ten- 
 dered and accepted, as is usual, by some of the 
 resident Fellows. The way in which each man’s 
 merits are estimated is this. Each Question in a 
 Paper is considered worth so many marks, according 
 to the difficulty of it— for instance, 10, 12, 20, 
 and so forth. If a man not only answers a ques- 
 
CLASSIFICATION. 
 
 291 
 
 tion, but does it in a very superior manner, then 
 the examiners consult upon the additional marks 
 he is to receive. After having duly ascertained by 
 these rules the value of each of the same man’s 
 solutions, the sum total is taken. They then class 
 these totals by collecting the groups who are nearly 
 equal, thus forming eight or nine classes, consisting 
 of from six to ten, or perhaps fifteen each ; and 
 considering the men of each class much on a par, 
 the only arrangement made in each class is that of 
 the alphabet. After the lapse of two or three days 
 from the end of the Examination, the following 
 First Class (along with that of the Freshmen, and 
 seven or eight others of each year), in the which 
 some few will recognize my cognomen, and also the 
 inferior ones, were posted upon a pillar in the 
 hall, there to remain a whole twelvemonth. 
 
 JUNIOR SOPHS. 
 
 Bird. 
 
 Glennie. 
 
 Hastings. 
 
 Holroyd. 
 
 Lyon. 
 
 Wright, 
 
292 NOBLES OF THE FIRST CLASS. 
 
 When a man absolutely disgraces himself by 
 his ignorance, during the Examination, he has a 
 class wholly to himself, called the Post. This 
 year a gentleman, who shall be nameless, thus 
 signalized himself. 
 
 A day or two after the Classes are “ stuck up 
 in Hall/’ the Examiners do the First-Class Men 
 the high honour to call upon them ; when you are 
 
 thus addressed : 66 Mr. , I am happy to have 
 
 to congratulate you upon the result of your exer- 
 tions during the last year, and feel confident you 
 will continue your meritorious endeavours.” 
 
 Stimulated by such honorary condescension, and 
 the public exhibition on the Commemoration Day, 
 what man is there whose ambition w’ould not 
 awaken him to the most indefatigable industry ? 
 There are few, indeed, of any intellect, not com- 
 pletely besotted by dissipation, who are not roused 
 into exertion by these urgent and persevering calls 
 on the part of the college, and we accordingly see 
 even the Noblemen of Trinity not unfrequently 
 vieing with the Commoners for intellectual supe- 
 riority — as the following First-Classes abundantly 
 testify. 
 
NOBLES OF THE FIRST CLASS. 
 
 293 
 
 JUNIOR SOPHS. 
 
 1802 . 
 
 Lord Althorp. 
 Brandreth. 
 
 Hon . H . Cust 
 Garratt. 
 
 Parke. 
 
 Fryme. 
 
 Rose. 
 
 Wiles. 
 
 1820 . 
 
 Atkinson. 
 
 Olivant. 
 
 Paley. 
 
 Rawlinson. 
 
 Hon. G. Spencer . 
 
 FRESHMEN. 
 
 1819 . 
 
 Arnold. 
 
 Marquis Graham . 
 Kendersley. 
 Olivant. 
 Rawlinson. 
 
 Hon. G. Spencer. 
 Talbot. 
 
 1820 . 
 
 J. W. Hamilton. 
 J. II. Hamilton. 
 Long. 
 
 T. B. Macauley. 
 Malden. 
 
 Morton. 
 
 Hon. B. O. Noe!. 
 Perry. 
 
 Thornton. 
 
 White. 
 
 If all other establishments for the dissemination 
 of knowledge were as zealous as Trinity College 
 
294 
 
 NEW EXAMINATION. 
 
 in the cause, the higher classes of society would 
 be as well educated as the middling, and then the 
 demagogues of the day would lose, at least, one 
 grand subject of declamation. 
 
 It will have been observed, that at this period 
 but “ two years/’ Junior Sophs and Freshmen, 
 were examined. The Senior Sophs, it was then 
 considered, had enough to do to attend to the dis- 
 putations in the Schools, and to prepare for the 
 final Examination in the Senate-house, for the 
 honours of the Tripos and the Degree of B. A., 
 without any deviation therefrom occasioned by Col- 
 lege Examinations. But, subsequently, the rulers 
 have thought otherwise, having in the year 1820 
 commenced examinations even for the Third -Year 
 Men. 
 
 It being a part of the plan of this work, as 
 the reader must have already observed, to give 
 a complete view of the studies pursued at the 
 University, I shall now subjoin specimens of the 
 Papers given to that order of students. 
 
SENIOR SOPHS* EXAMINATION, 295 
 
 TRINITY COLLEGE. 
 
 Mr. Dobrees Paper on 
 ILIAD. VI. VII. VIII. 
 
 I. (1) When did Homer live, according to 
 Herodotus ? (2) What reasons are there for 
 
 supposing the art of writing invented after Homer’s 
 time ? (3) Does any passage from an ancient 
 
 writer countenance this supposition? (4) State 
 the evidence of Homer himself ; explain ypaipai 
 and briypa\pai, Iliad 6 and 7. (5) What cir- 
 
 cumstances were favourable to the preservation of 
 the poems, supposing them unwritten ? (6) De- 
 scribe the aoidol from Homer, the from 
 
 Plato. What does Pindar call these ? Explain 
 his expression from the Pseudo-Homeric hymns, 
 and from the name given to those poems by Thu- 
 cydides. (7) What share had Lycurgus and 
 Pisistratus in the preservation of the Iliad and 
 Odyssey ? Explain the matter, supposing the 
 poems unwritten. (8) Point out a passage of 
 Herodotus, tending to show that he considered the 
 Iliad to have been about the time of Solon much 
 the same as it was in his own time. 
 
296 SENIOR sophs’ examination. 
 
 II. Give instances of verses quoted from Homer 
 by the ancients, but not extant in our copies ; one 
 from the 8th Iliad. 
 
 III. When, and by whom was the Iliad divided 
 into 24 books ? How were the different parts 
 quoted before such division ? Give AEliaffs ac- 
 count; and an instance from Herodotus or Thucy- 
 dides. Does it follow that the several parts were 
 considered as distinct poems ? What do you con- 
 ceive Bentley to have meant by calling the Iliad 
 a sequel of songs ? 
 
 IV. What was the kvkXgq ? What 
 
 were the subjects of the Kv: rpta ’'Ettij, 
 
 ’iAmc fjutcpa ? What does Herodotus say concern- 
 ing the two first ? What is meant by £ 7 rr? or 
 hrucov Trotti/ia ? Distinguish £7roc, orr^o^, plXog. 
 
 V. What was the date of the Trojan war, 
 according to Herodotus ? What is the common 
 date, and its authors ? Upon what grounds did 
 they reason. 
 
 VI. Who were the Tpwee, A vklol, and AapSa- 
 vo t, and their respective leaders ? Into what states 
 was Peloponnesus divided at the time of the 
 Trojan war? Into what, at the time of Thucy- 
 dides ? What does Herodotus remark concerning 
 the ’Okscu/oc of Homer ? 
 
SENIOR sophs’ examination. 297 
 
 VII. What are Homer's expressions for “ the 
 Greeks ?” Which of them was usually appro- 
 priated by later writers to the invaders of Troy ? 
 Give Thucydides’ disquisition concerning the 
 words f/ EXX?ji; and fiapfiapog, and explain from 
 Strabo the word jSapfiapofiwvoi, applied to the 
 Carians in Iliad B. Show from the same passage 
 of Thucydides, that the Greeks were not called 
 Pelasgi at the time of the Trojan war, and from 
 Herodotus, that the Pelasgic domination was 
 much earlier. 
 
 VIII. (1) Give the history of the Greek 
 
 Alphabet from Herodotus. Write the following 
 words with the usual capital letters, according to 
 the orthography in use at Athens, in the time of 
 iEschylus. O'lSe airWavov Iv toj 7 roXquq> ev 
 Alyivy rov avrov eviavrov. (2) Dionysius de- 
 scribes the figure of the Digamma thus; 
 wot rep 7 appa Sittcuq hrl ptav opOrjv tTrfevyvv- 
 fitv ov rate TrXaytatc. Paraphrase this, clearly de- 
 fining the 7 rXaytat. Add his account of the sound 
 of that letter ; explain it, and prove it correct, 
 from other authorities. What is to be done with 
 this quotation from Priscian ? F Molicum di- 
 gamma , quod apud antiquissimos Latinorum eandem 
 vim quam apud JEoles habuit <I>. (3) Explain 
 
298 SENIOR sophs’ examination. 
 
 the use of the Digamma, and give instances from 
 the passages quoted in this paper. 
 
 IX. Is there any real absurdity in sending the 
 commander-in-chief on the errand in Book vi. ? — 
 Why does Ajax (Book vii.) desire the Greeks to 
 pray in silence, 'iva jdrj Tpcoag yt ttvQiovtcii ? Why 
 did the Greeks never think of fortifying their camp 
 till the 10th year of the war? 
 
 X. Qvtol da (Homer and Hesiod) alcn ot tt otfr 
 vavrag Qaoyovtriv' E\\r}(Ji,Kai tolctl Osoigl ragaTru)- 
 vvpiag dovrag, kcu ripagra /cai riyyag diaXovrag, Kal 
 e1,Saa uvtwv Grjnn)vavrag. Herodotus . Translate 
 this, and state distinctly what is meant by Tro^cat 
 Oeoyovuiv. Point out two meanings of the word 
 TL/uLag, and support your interpretation by some 
 instance. (2) Is the opinion of Herodotus pro- 
 bable? (3) Show a prima facie objection to the 
 Greek mythology being imported from Egypt. 
 
 XI. What is your notion of Homer’s dialect ? 
 What were the three grand divisions of the 
 Greeks, as to origin and dialect ? State in general 
 terms in what parts of Greece and its colonies 
 each dialect was spoken ? From which dialect 
 was the Latin derived ? Point out some traces of 
 its origin. What was the kolvyi SiaXtKTog ? 
 When the grammarians quote Homer as one of 
 
SENIOR sophs’ examination. 299 
 
 the iraXmol ’A ttikoi, how is the expression to be 
 reconciled to the probable fact ? 
 
 XII. Translate the following passages into 
 literal English : 
 
 *£2g eh rwv, ov naibog ope^aro (p'aiSipog "Eicrwp. 
 ci'ip S’ 6 7rdVc Trpbg teoXirov ev^tuvoio TiQ{]vr\g 
 heXivOi] ld\ioVy iraTpbg <f>l\ ov bifjiv aTv^Odg, 
 Tapfii]crag \o\k6v te, i8s X6(j)ov LTTTnoyaiTiqv , 
 
 Selvov citt a Kpordryg teopvOog vevovtci vofaag. 
 ek 8’ sysAacrcrs 7 rcin'ip te (ftiXog teal TTOTvia pr]Trip» 
 avTLK arro tepaTog tebpvd ’ elXeto (jiaibipog EieTwp, 
 Kai rrjv pEv KarW^KEv E7rl )(9ovl rrajutyavowdav* 
 avrap oy ov (j)iXov vtbv ettel kvcte, 7Ty\Xe te yEpdiv, 
 ELTTEV ETTEV^dfAEVOQ All T, dXXoidLV TE OeoIgLV' 
 
 Z EX), aXXot te Oeol, 8ots Srj teal tovSe yEVEdOai 
 t rat 8’ Ifiov , wg ical iyw TTEp, dpurpETTEa TpcjEddiv, 
 ioSe fiirjv t ayaOov ? teal iXtov l(j)L avaddEiv' 
 
 Kai ttote Tig EiTnjdC rraTpbg 8’ by£ ttoXXov a/uLELvtov ! 
 he 7roXipov dviovTa * (j)Epoi 8 ’ Evapa fipoTOEvra, 
 KTELvag brjiov d vSpa, yapEir) 8s (ppiva priTrjp. 
 
 Z. 466 — 481. 
 
 H pa, teal dpTTETraXdjv irpoiEL SoXi^bdieiov £y%og, 
 teal f3 clXev A'lavTog Seivov ddieog £7rTaj3o£iov, 
 dteporarov kutci \oXkov , bg bySoog yjEv tir' avTtp* 
 
 8s 8ta TTTv^ag j'iXOe 8a i%cov xaXtebg dreiprig * 
 
300 SENIOR SOPHS EXAMINATION* 
 
 iv rff S’ e.0So pdrifj pivcj ayiro. devrepog avrs 
 A tag Aioysviig 7 rpoiei SoXixoaKiov iyx°G> 
 teal j3dXe TlpiaplSao tear darr'ida irdvroa iiariv* 
 did plv damdog riXde (paeivrig bj3pipov eyxog, 
 ical did Otopi^icog TroXvdaidciXov j\p!)p£iaro' 
 dvriKpi) Si rrapal Xa7rdprjv didprjae x i T(dva 
 iy X o? o S’ hcXivOrj, teal dXzvaro Krjpa piXaivav . 
 rw S’ iKarraaaapiviv doXi X %JX ea X e P a ^ v **p dp<jj(v, 
 (JVV p £7T£(TOVf XdoVGLV £OlKOT£g (XpOfpdyOiaiV, 
 
 ?} aval icdirpoiaiv ) tojvte aOtvog ovk dXarradvov- 
 Hpiapldijg ply h reira piaov adicog ovraaa dovpi, 
 ovd > £/bprj%£v ^aXicov* dveyva/bKpdti Si o l at^urj. 
 Atac S’ aamda vu%ev braXpavog' i ) S l S id 7rpb 
 't’jXvOev lyxdr\) arv^eXi^E Si piv papaddra' 
 rp!)dn]v S’ avx^v £7 rrjX0£’ peXav S’ avaKrjKiev aipa • 
 dXX’ oiS’ wg diriXtiye pa X r}g icopvQaioXog ^E/crw^* 
 dXX’ dvax^crdpevog XiOov eiXaro X H P L 7 r a X*ty> 
 
 Kdpivov iv tteShj), paXava, rprixvv ra, plyav re* 
 tCj j3aXav Aiavrog daivov aaicog £7rra[36aiov, 
 piaaov hropfydXiov' TrepirjXV^^ S’ apa x a Xtcog. 
 
 H. 244—267. 
 
 Kiaopai, u ke p 6 TuSaSrjc Kparspbg Aioprjdrjg 
 7 rap vrjiov irpbg ra^oc amdaeTai, rj kev ayd) rbv 
 X^Xkip dyivaag, avapa fiporoavra (papwpat. 
 avpiov rjv dptrriv diaataaTai, a k Ipov 'iyx°G 
 
SENIOR sophs' examination. 301 
 
 fieivij hrepyopwov' a\X ev irpuroiGiV) oiw, 
 KuazTcu ovrridelg, noAeeg 8’ dpcf avrov eraipoi P 
 yeAiov dviovrog eg avpiov . el yap eytbv &g 
 ur)v dOdvarog ml dyijpaog rjpara iravra , 
 nolprjv 8\ tug Tier ’A Qr\vair] ml AttoXXiov , 
 
 (Lc vvv 77 pepri riSe* mmv (jiepet ’ ApyeloiGiv. 
 
 0. 532—541. 
 
 XIII. (1) Translate the following scholion to 
 the passage last quoted; 17 SittAyi, on rj rovrovg Set 
 rovg Tpetg art^ovg peveiv, olg to avriGtypa TrapdiceL- 
 Tai,rjTovge£,rig rpelg, olg a l any pal irapdKeivraC elg 
 yap ri]V avrrjv yeypappevoi elai Stavoiav . eyicpivet 
 8e pdXXov 6 Apiarapyog rovg Sevrepoirg — 6 Se 
 ZrjvdSorog rovg 1 rpwrcrvg rpelg ovSe eypatyev. 
 Make out from this what Aristarchus and Zeno- 
 dotus actually had in their respective texts : and 
 explain the terms 7rapdSoGig, 6 SiaGKevaGTrjg , oi 
 XivpiZovreg, as used in the Venetian scholia. 
 
 (2) Z. 148.— 
 
 (j)vX\a rd pev r avepog yapaSig X* ei > <*XXct Se 0 ’ v\n 
 TriXeOococra (frvei, eapog 8’ briytyveraL wprj. 
 a>g avSpitiv yeverj 77 pev (j)vet 77 8’ diroAdyei. 
 
 Schol. 149. ' ApiGTotyaviqg ypdtjjet rr)Ae06ojvTa>. 
 ml brl tCov 0uXX ojv amvei , ml to wp?j pera rov 
 
302 SENIOR sophs’ examination. 
 
 ypd(j)Ei Kara Sotiki'iv. 150. Svvarcu /uev Kal apOpa 
 sTvaC djuetvov Se GwStapovg avrovg ekSe^egOgi. 
 
 Translate these scholia, and make out the text 
 used by the writer or writers. Your reasons for 
 approving or rejecting the reading Ibprj. Sup- 
 posing rr]\£06tt)vra a mere conjecture, what diffi- 
 culty did Aristophanes propose to remove by it, 
 and what else must he have altered, in order to 
 complete the correction? 
 
 (3) Z. 336. WeAov S’ cl\el TTporpairtaQai. What 
 is the probable meaning of 7rpoTpa7ria8(U 
 here, and in II. E. irporpETrovro fxeXaivdwv 
 
 E7TL VT)U)V ? 
 
 (4) Z. 349. £7ra rd<$£ y' wde 0 eol fccucet TEtcfxr'ipavTO* 
 Derive TEKpaipEGSai, and deduce its meaning 
 here from the primitive meaning of its root. 
 
 (5) Z. 490. rd a avrijg epya ko/ul^e. Others 
 read g avrrig. Is this necessary ? What 
 does <r’ stand for ? Give a similar instance. 
 
 (6) H. 240. ilieXttegOcu ’’April* Explain 
 
 fiEAirEGQai, and quote a line where jutoATrrj is 
 used in much the same sense. 
 
 (7) H. 271. B \d\pE St ol (j)i\a yovva8\ What 
 does /3 \d\pE mean here ? Give an instance. 
 
 (8) H. 310. aE\ 7 rovTEg goov eivcu . Correct the 
 
senior sophs’ examination. 303 
 
 first word, and support your reading from 
 Herodotus, and from analogy. 
 
 (9) 0 . 185 . 
 
 tSavOe re, koI ary floSapye, teal AWojv , Aa/unre re Sle, 
 
 Nov jioi tt)v KO/uudr]v airoTiverov , 
 
 State the objections to this reading, and the 
 correction proposed ; and point out the probable 
 source of the corruption. 
 
 ( 10 ) 0 . 513 . log rig tovtivv ye j3e\og ko! olkloQl 
 irecrarj. Explain 7rl<7(xp, and give an instance. 
 
 XIV. Translate the following lines into Greek 
 hexameters : 
 
 He lookt and saw what numbers numberless 
 The city gates out-pour’d, light-armed troops 
 In coats of mail and military pride ; 
 
 In mail their horses clad, yet fleet and strong, 
 
 Prancing their riders bore, the flow’r and choice 
 Of many provinces, from bound to bound. 
 
 He saw them in their forms of battle rang’d, 
 
 How quick they wheel’d, and flying behind them shot 
 Sharp sleet of arrowy show’r against the face 
 Of their pursuers, and overcame by flight. 
 
304 SENIOR sophs’ examination. 
 
 TRINITY COLLEGE. 
 
 PROBLEMS 
 
 1. What sum of money must be laid out in 
 the 3 per cent consols , at 63g per cent, to produce 
 an income of £ 400 a year ? 
 
 2. The sine of any angle of a plane triangle has 
 to the opposite side a constant ratio. — What is 
 this ratio ? 
 
 3. Find by the method of continued fractions a 
 series of fractions converging to V^19. 
 
 4. Given the three sides of a plane triangle, find 
 
 (1) Its area, 
 
 (2) The radius of the inscribed circle. 
 
 5. Differentiate the following quantities, 
 
 6. Find a number which being divided by 
 2, 3, 5, shall leave for remainders 1, 2, 3, re- 
 spectively. 
 
 (2) u — x 2 
 
 1 -j~ &c. ad inf. 
 
SENIOR SOPHS 5 EXAMINATION. 305 
 
 7. The angles of any plane triangle being A, 
 B, C, prove that [to radius (1),] 
 4sin.A.sin.B.sin.C = sin .2A + sin. 2B + sin.2C. 
 
 8. (1) Find the locus of the vertices of all 
 the triangles described on the same base, 
 when one of the angles at the base is always 
 double of the other. 
 
 (2) Hence trisect a given angle. 
 
 9. Find the radius of curvature at any point of 
 the common cycloid. 
 
 10. In any spherical triangle, the arcs of great 
 circles drawn from the three angular points per- 
 pendicular to the opposite sides intersect in the 
 same point. 
 
 11. Sum the following series : 
 
 a) 
 
 ■+ 
 
 +. 
 
 1.2. 3.4 2. 3. 4. 5 3.4.S.6 
 
 + ... to ( n ) 
 
 terms. 
 
 (2) i + L + i_ + ad inf. 
 
 s-r}\ 1 1 1 
 
 (3) 1 f* 0 
 
 v ' ’ ~ ° 2.3.4 2 3.4 5 2 2 
 
 1 • 4r + ....ad inf. 
 
 1.2.3 
 
 (4) Sin. 0-f-x sin. 20 + x 2 sin. 30 + 
 
 ad inf. 
 
 12. A sphere of given diameter descends in a 
 fluid, from rest, by the action of gravity ; find the 
 
 VOL. i. 
 
 x 
 
306 SENIOR sophs’ examination. 
 
 greatest velocity it can acquire, its specific gravity 
 being ( n ) times that of the fluid. 
 
 13. (1) Of all quadrilateral figures contained 
 by four given right lines the greatest is that 
 which is inscriptible in a circle. 
 
 (2) If a, 6, c, d , be the sides of this quad- 
 rilateral, S its semi-perimeter, show that its 
 area = A/{(S-fl)(S— 6)(S-c)(S-rf)}. 
 
 14. Find the centre of gyration of a given 
 sphere. 
 
 15. Any two right lines intersect each other in 
 space ; having given their separate inclinations to 
 three rectangular co-ordinates passing through the 
 point of intersection : find their inclinations to 
 each other. 
 
 16. (1) Trace the curve whose equation is 
 j/ 2 (c— x)=x 3 + bx 2 , and find its area when 
 6 = 0 . 
 
 (2) The equation to a curve isj/ 3 — axy-\- x z 
 = 0 ; find the value of the ordinate when a 
 maximum, and the corresponding value of 
 the abscissa. Show also that it is a maximum 
 and not a minimum. 
 
 17. State the principle of virtual velocities ; 
 and hence show that if any system in equilibrium, 
 acted on by gravity alone, have an indefinitely 
 
SENIOR sophs’ examination, 307 
 
 small motion communicated to its parts, its centre 
 of gravity will neither ascend nor descend. 
 
 dx 
 
 18. T n te/yrate ( 1 ) — - — . 
 
 8 VA + B-r + C* 2 
 (3) d6 
 
 ( 2 ) 
 
 dx 
 
 T+P 
 
 (cos. 0) 2 ’ 
 
 and find the relation of (a?) to (j/) in the equations 
 
 (1) xch/- 
 
 ■ ydx =ydx log.—. 
 
 X 
 
 (2) dx + x 3 dx = dy + ydx. 
 
 19. If two weights acting upon a wheel and 
 axle put the machine in motion, find the pressure 
 upon the axis without taking into account the 
 machine’s inertia. 
 
 20. If (a) and (6) denote the semi-axis of an 
 ellipse, (0) the angle at which the radius of curva- 
 ture (r) at any point cuts the axis, prove that 
 
 a 2 b 2 
 
 (a 2 cos . 2 0 + b 2 sin. 2 0)* 
 
 21. The roots of the equation 
 
 x n —px n - l + qx n -*~& c. = 0, 
 being a, j3, y, &c. find the value as 
 a w + / 3 m + y w + 
 
 in terms of the coefficients p , q , r, &c. 
 
 22. AP is any arc of a parabola whose vertex is 
 
 x 2 
 
308 SENIOR sophs’ examination. 
 
 A and focus S ; let N be the intersection of a per- 
 pendicular from S on the tangent at P with the 
 perpendicular to the axis from A. 
 
 Then if AS = a, ZASN = 0. 
 
 Show that arc AP— PN=a . 1. tan. ^ 
 
 23. If a circle whose diameter is equal to the 
 whole tide in any given latitude be placed verti- 
 cally, and so as to have the lower extremity of its 
 diameter coincident with the level of low water, 
 prove that the tide will rise or fall over equal arcs 
 in equal times. 
 
 TRINITY COLLEGE, 
 
 Mr. Hamilton's Paper. 
 
 NEWTON’S PRINCIPIA. Book I. 
 
 1. (1) The centripetal force (F) in any curve 
 
 = Q. — (p) being the perpendicular from 
 p ax 
 
 the centre of force on the tangent, at distance (x ) 
 Determine Q. 
 
SENIOR sophs’ examination. 309 
 
 (2) Find the value of (F) in the ellipse — 
 the force tending to the center. 
 
 2 . If a body be acted on by two forces tending 
 to two fixed centers, it will describe, about the 
 straight line joining those centers, equal solids in 
 equal times. 
 
 3. A body describes a parabola about a center 
 of force situated in the focus, 
 
 (1) Find its position at any assigned time. 
 
 (2) Given two distances from the focus, and 
 the difference of anomalies, Find the true 
 anomaly. 
 
 4. The time of a body’s descent, in aright line 
 
 towards a given centre of force varies as— — ~ 
 
 (dist.)~ 
 
 from that centre. Required the law of the varia- 
 tion of the force. 
 
 5. A body at P is urged by an uniformly 
 accelerating force in the direction PS, and at 
 the same time is impelled in the opposite 
 
 direction by a force varying as ^ from S. 
 
 Find its velocity at any point N. 
 
 6. In the logarithmic spiral find an expres- 
 sion for the time of a body’s descent from a 
 given point to the centre, and prove that the 
 
310 SENIOR sophs’ examination. 
 
 times of successive revolutions are in geometrical 
 progression. 
 
 7. A body acted on by a force varying as 
 1 » 
 
 (d* t ~ ) ~ n ^ r ° m centre ’ 1 s P ro j ecte ^ from a given 
 
 point, in a given direction, and with a given velocity . 
 
 (1) Find the equation to the trajectory 
 described 
 
 (2) Determine in what cases the body will 
 fall into the centre, or go off to infinity. 
 
 8. The force varying as— 3 — ■ , shew under 
 
 J & (dist.) 5 
 
 what restrictions of the velocity of projection, the 
 body’s approach towards the centre, and its recess 
 towards infinity, will be limited by asymptotic 
 circles . 
 
 9. The difference of the forces by which a 
 
 body may be made to move in the quiescent and 
 
 r . i 
 
 in the moveable orbit varies as— - — — from the 
 
 (dist.) 
 
 centre. 
 
 10. (1) Deduce the equation to the orbit in 
 fixed space. 
 
 (2) Shew that when any one of Cotes’s 
 three last spirals is made the moveable orbit, 
 the orbit in fixed space will be one of the 
 same species t 
 
SENIOR sophs’ examination. 311 
 
 TRINITY COLLEGE. 
 
 Mr. Stephensons Paper. 
 
 OPTICS. 
 
 1. Given the distance of the focus of incident 
 rays from the centre of a given spherical reflector, 
 find the distance of the geometrical focus of reflec- 
 ted rays from the centre, when they are incident 
 nearly perpendicularly. 
 
 2. Given the position of an object placed bet ween 
 two plane reflectors inclined at a given angle ; find 
 the total number of images, and apply it to the 
 case where the angle of inclination is equal to 11° 
 15 ' 
 
 3. A straight line is placed before a concave 
 spherical reflector, at the distance of one third of 
 its radius from the surface ; find the dimensions 
 of the curve formed by its image, radius of re- 
 flector being 9 inches 
 
 4. Having given the ratio of the sines of inci- 
 dence and refraction, when a ray passes out of one 
 medium into each of two others, to find the ratio 
 of the sine of incidence to the sine of refraction 
 out of one of the latter mediums into the other. 
 
312 SENIOR sophs’ examination. 
 
 5. When parallel rays are incident nearly per- 
 pendicularly upon a spherical refracting surface the 
 distance of the intersection of the refracted ray 
 and the axis, from the centre, is the greatest when 
 the arc is evanescent. 
 
 6. A pencil of parallel rays passes from water 
 through a globule of air ; find the focus after the 
 second refraction. 
 
 7. Find the focal length of a compound lens. 
 
 8. Explain the construction of Newton’s teles- 
 cope, and shew how it must be adjusted to the eye 
 of a long-sighted person. 
 
 9. An object whose real depth below the surface 
 of the water is ten feet, is viewed by an eye fifteen 
 feet above the surface. What must be the focal 
 length of a lens through which it is viewed, that 
 its apparent depth may be ten feet ? 
 
 10. If a plane mirror be turned round uniformly 
 the angular velocity of the image of a given object 
 formed by continual reflection at its surface : angu- 
 lar velocity of reflector : : 2 : 1 
 
 11. The radii of a spherical reflector and sphere 
 of glass of same aperture and power are in the pro- 
 portion of 3 : 1 . Compare the density of rays in 
 sun’s image formed by them. 
 
SENIOR sophs’ examination. 313 
 
 12. Two straight lines 
 are inclined at a given angle 
 and a point E is given 
 without them, a line E F 
 f moves round the point E, 
 and cuts the given lines in 
 F and f; find the locus of 
 the mirror I), so that f 
 shall always be the image 
 of F. 
 
 13. Suppose a mirror £ 
 
 M to move in a straight ^ 
 line AB, and an object 
 D in the line AC at 
 right angles to it, and 
 distance between object 
 and mirror to be con- A M B 
 
 stant ; to determine the locus of an eye, which 
 being always the same distance as the object from 
 the mirror, shall always see the object. 
 
 1 4. Having given the refracting powers of two 
 mediums, to find the ratio of the focal lengths of a 
 convex and concave lens, formed of these sub- 
 stances, which, when united, produce images nearly 
 free from colour. 
 
 15. When a ray of light is incident obliquely 
 
314 senior sophs’ examination. 
 
 upon a spherical reflector, to determine the inter- 
 section of the reflected ray and the axis of the 
 pencil to which it belongs, and shew that when the 
 focal length is given, the longitudinal aberration of 
 parallel rays varies as flin. apert.) 2 and lateral 
 aberration varies as (lin. apert.) 3 
 
 16. If an object be placed in the principal focus 
 of a double convex lens, the visual angle is the 
 same, whatever be the distance of the eye from the 
 glass. 
 
 17. Find the length of a caustic generally, and 
 apply it to the case when the reflecting curve is a 
 semicycloid, rays parallel to axis. 
 
 18. Find the density of rays in a caustic, when 
 reflecting surface is a hemisphere, radiating point 
 in surface. 
 
SENIOR sophs’ examination. 315 
 
 TRINITY COLLEGE. 
 
 Mr. Sheepshanks' Paper . 
 
 HYDROSTATICS. 
 
 1. The pressure of a fluid against any surface 
 in a direction perpendicular to it, varies as the area 
 of the surface multiplied into the depth of its 
 centre of gravity below the surface of the fluid. 
 
 2. A hollow cone without a bottom stands on a 
 horizontal plane, and water is poured in at the 
 vertex. The weight of the cone being given, 
 how far may it be filled so as not to run out below ? 
 
 3. What must be the magnitude and point of 
 application of a single force that will support a 
 sluice-gate in the shape of an inverted parabola ? 
 
 4. Find the specific gravity of a body which is 
 lighter than the fluid in which it is weighed. 
 
 5. If the specific gravity of air be called m, that 
 of water being 1, and if W be the weight of any 
 body in air, and W r its weight in water, its weight 
 in vacuo will be, 
 
 JF+- — ( IV— W r ). 
 
 1 —m 
 
316 SENIOR sophs’ examination. 
 
 6. Three globes of the same diameter and of 
 given specific gravities, are placed in the same 
 straight line. How must they be disposed that 
 they may balance on the same point of the line 
 in vacuo and in water ? 
 
 7. If a homogeneous hemisphere, floating in a 
 fluid, be slightly inclined from the position of 
 equilibrium ; show that the moment of the fluid 
 to restore it to that position, is not affected by 
 placing any additional weight at its centre. 
 
 8. A regular tetrahedron moves with its vertex 
 forwards, in a direction perpendicular to its base. 
 Compare the resistance on the oblique plans with 
 that on the base. 
 
 9. If the particles of an elastic fluid repel each 
 other with forces varying inversely as the fourth 
 power of their distances, the compressive force on 
 any portion varies as (density) 2 . 
 
 10. Explain the method of measuring altitudes 
 by means of the barometer and thermometer. 
 
 11 . Two barometers, whose tubes are each l 
 inches long, being imperfectly filled with mercury, 
 are observed to stand at the heights h and h\ on 
 one day, and k and k f on another. Find the 
 quantity of air left in each, reducing it to the den- 
 sity when the mercury is at the standard altitude 
 
SENIOR sophs’ examination, 317 
 
 of 30 inches, and supposing the temperature 
 invariable. 
 
 12. Construct a common forcing pump ; and 
 show what is the force requisite to force the piston 
 down. 
 
 13. In the common sucking pump, given the 
 lowest point to which the piston descends, find the 
 length of the stroke that the pump may work. 
 
 14. A cylinder which floats upright in a fluid, 
 is pressed down below the position of equilibrium : 
 when it is left to itself, find the time of its vertical 
 oscillations, neglecting the resistance. 
 
 15. A vessel generated by the revolution of a 
 portion of a semi-hyperbola round its conjugate 
 axis, is emptied by an orifice at the centre of the 
 hyperbola : find the time. 
 
 16. A close vessel is filled with air n times the 
 density of atmospheric air. A small orifice being 
 made, through which the air rushes into a vacuum, 
 find the time elapsed when the density is dimi- 
 nished one half. 
 
 17. A tube of uniform diameter consists of two 
 vertical legs connected by a horizontal branch. 
 When it is made to revolve with a given velocity 
 round one of its vertical legs as an axis, find the 
 height to which the water will rise in the other. 
 
318 SENIOR sophs' examination. 
 
 18. Let a spherical body descend in a fluid 
 from rest ; having given the diameter of the sphere 
 and its specific gravity relatively to that of the 
 fluid, it is required to assign the time in which 
 the sphere describes any given space. 
 
 19. If the density of a medium vary inversely 
 as the distance from a centre, and the centripetal 
 force inversely as any power of the distance from 
 the same centre, a body may describe a logarithmic 
 spiral about that point. 
 
 20. If the resistance on a body which oscillates 
 small arcs in a fluid vary as the n th power of the 
 velocity, the difference of the arcs of descent and 
 ascent will vary as the n th power of the whole arc. 
 
 TRINITY COLLEGE. 
 
 DIFFERENTIAL AND INTEGRAL 
 CALCULUS. 
 
 1. Define the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, &c. differentials 
 of a function according to Newton's method of 
 limits, and also according to Lagrange ; show 
 that both methods coincide, and exemplify in the 
 case of sin. x ? 
 
SENIOR sophs’ examination. 319 
 
 2. Prove the rules for differentiating, 
 
 (2.) tan. x . 
 
 (3.) a*. 
 
 (4.) log. x. 
 and differentiate : 
 
 (1.) (a + bx n ) m ; 
 
 (2 ) ^r+^+v/i-* 2 . 
 
 X 2 — 
 
 A y/(a— 6)y/l(-cos. *) \ 
 V # V / ( a + & )'/ 1 ( + cos * *)/ 
 
 3. Find the area (1.) of the cycloid, (2.) of 
 the logarithmic curve. ( 3 .) Show that the sur- 
 face, and solidity of a sphere are each two-thirds 
 of the surface and solidity of the circumscribing 
 cylinder. 
 
 4. Deduce Maclaurin’s theorem from Taylor’s, 
 and apply the former to find the tangent in terms 
 of its arc. 
 
 5. Transform the series for log (1 +#) into one 
 
320 SENIOR sophs’ examination. 
 
 which converges for all values of x ; and apply it 
 to compute the modulus of Briggs’s system. 
 
 6. In a series A + Bx + Cx 2 + Dx 3 where 
 
 the ratio, which any one coefficient bears to that 
 immediately preceding it, is always finite, such a 
 value may be found for x as will render any one 
 term greater than the sum of all that follow. Re- 
 quired a proof, and determine whether this be 
 possible in the series, 
 
 1 -f 2 2 x 4- 3 2 x 2 + 4 2 x 3 + 
 
 1 + 1.2.x + 1.2. 3x 2 +1.2,3Ax 3 ..... 
 
 7. Show by the Differential Calculus, or from 
 considerations purely algebraical, that if a:x::y: b; 
 x+y will be a minimum when x~y. 
 
 8. Required all the values of x which will 
 render j/ a maximum, or minimum in the following 
 equations, and determine those values which give 
 maximum results, those which give minimum, and 
 those which give neither. 
 
 (1.) y=zx b — x5* + 5x 3 + 1 
 (2,) y 2 ~ 4a 2 xj/4-x 4 ==0 
 
 9. Prove that under a given spherical surface, 
 a hemisphere contains the greatest segment of a 
 sphere. 
 
 10. Required the least paraboloid that can be 
 circumscribed about a given sphere : 
 
SENIOR sophs’ examination. 321 
 
 11. Find the value of- 
 
 ^ (x— a)% 
 
 (*2-a 2 ) 4 
 
 when.r = a. 
 
 and of — . tan.~ when ,r=0. 
 4x 2 
 
 12. Find the equations to the tangent, and 
 normal of a curve at a given point, and apply 
 them to the parabola. 
 
 13. A curve is convex, or concave towards the 
 axis of the abscissae, according as the ordinate and 
 its second differential coefficient have the same, or 
 different signs. Required a proof. 
 
 14. Trace the curve whose equation is 
 x 2 y 2 — a 3 x + a 2 x 2 = 0; find its point of contrary 
 flexure, and the angle at which it cuts the axis. 
 
 15. Draw an asymptote to the reciprocal spiral. 
 
 16. Investigate the general expression for the 
 radius of curvature in curves referred to an axis, 
 and apply it to the catenary whose equation is 
 
 ° \ a / 
 
 17. Find the differential of the surface gene- 
 rated by the revolution of a curve round its axis. 
 
 18. Find the integrals of 
 
 Ax 2 dx — Bxdx 
 x 2 —px + q : 
 
 VOL. i. 
 
 Y 
 
322 SENIOR sophs’ examination 
 
 ) x * dx ('4.') - 
 
 ' \Z(2ax + x 2 ) ^ ) x 5 ^/(l— x 2 ) 
 
 19. Find the content of the solid generated by 
 the revolution of a cycloid round the tangent at its 
 vertex. 
 
 20. Prove that the solid generated by the revo- 
 lution of any regular polygon inscribed in a circle 
 round its diameter, is equal to one third of the 
 surface generated multiplied into the perpendicular 
 drawn from the centre on one of its sides. 
 
 21. Find the area of the curve whose equation 
 is j/=pa n , between the values of x=a , and x = b ; 
 and investigate the value of the result in the case 
 of the common hyperbola. 
 
 22. Show that all the curves included under 
 
 1 
 
 the equation ?/= are rectifiable when — — 
 
 is a whole number. 
 
 23. Find the length of an arc of the spiral of 
 Archimedes contained between two polar distances 
 p and q ; and supposing the radius of the circle to 
 be a, prove it equal to an arc of a parabola con- 
 tained between two ordinates p and < 7 , the latus 
 
 rectum being — . 
 
 7 r 
 
 24. Find the convex surface, and solid content 
 
END OF THE YEAR. 
 
 323 
 
 of the portion of a right cylinder which is cut off 
 by a plane passing through the centre of the base, 
 and inclined to it at an angle of 45". 
 
 The general Examination having thus termi- 
 nated, we have now leave to go down, and I 
 amongst the rest applied for my Exeat. 
 
 END OF VOL. I. 
 
 T. C. Hansard, Pater-noster-row Press. 
 
ERRATA. 
 
 VoL L p> 95, 
 
 U 11, for produce read produces 
 
 120, 
 
 24, Boss’s 
 
 Bos’s 
 
 128, 
 
 14, Herman 
 
 Hermann 
 
 237, 
 
 ] 4, gation 
 
 cation 
 
 VoU II 130, 
 
 4, Colton 
 
 Cotton 
 
 207, 
 
 4, dele OF 
 
 
 241, 
 
 14, for battle 
 
 bottle 
 
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