Digitized by the Internet Archive in 2016 https://archive.org/details/storyofhardtimesOOphel c Cojyry^t 1903 Q&U) K' - 1> r i c t 25 C€t)tS' Pauline Pbelp$’$ Pieces most Successful Recitations— in the Repertoires of America's most Popniar Reciters— Prize Winners €pervwbere. ]S[. B. — A disting'uishing feature of PAULINE PHELPS’S PIECES is that every one is first tested and proved a hit on the public platform before it is published. PRICE, 25 CENTS EACH Publishecl Excltisively by the EDGAR S* WERNER PUB. & SUPPLY CO. (Inc.) 43-45 East 1 9th Street^ New York AS THE MOON ROSE. Recitation. Revolutionary War. 8 min. Girl makes perilous, horse-back ride to carry pardon for lover unjustly condemned as spy. AUNT ELNORA'S HERO. Monologue. Comedy. 10 min. Girl. Ten-year old girl tells how she, by dressing up in sheet and jack-o’-lantern head, scares man her old-maid aunt thinks a hero and wants to marry. AUNT SARAH ON BICYCLES. Monologue. Comedy. 10 min. Woman. Elderly maiden lady tells how niece and son of a neighbor with whom she has been at odds run off on a tandem and get married, followed in a wagon by herself and the father, and how the ride leads to their becoming engaged. BIFF PERKINS’S TOBOGGAN SLIDE. Monologue. Comedy. 10 min. Boy. Boy gets old-maid aunt and a professor on his sled ana an upset leads to matrimony. “ A sled and a boy and a custard pie make an awful good combination.” COOK, THE. Monologue. Comedy. 10 min. Woman. Cook costume. Irish dialect. Cook, directed by mistress not to open door for callers, follows instructions when, at night, a cat is raising a terrible rumpus in the dining-room, upsetting various things, racket bringing in police. ^ , tot FIRETOWN^S NEW SCHOOLHOUSE. Monologue. Comedy. 12 min. Woman. Deacon’s wife tells how neighborhood assembles to vote whether it shall have new school- house. After an exciting time, the first b.allot being a tie, she slips out and bribes ” Hermit Jim” to rush in and vote for a new schoolhouse. HER CUBAN TEA. Monologue. Comedy. 10 min. Woman. Hostess, being disap- pointed by grocer serves strong cider to afternoon-tea guests, calling it “Cuban tea. They all get lively HOW MR. SIMONSON TOOK CARE OF THE BABY. Recitation. Com. 10 min. A father claims he can tend baby without half the fuss made by mother. He undertakes lo quiet it and slaps child who shrieks. After many vain attempts he is compelled to hand child back to mother, to amusement of depot spectators. TOLLY BRICK, A. Monologue. Pathos. 8 min. Boy. Bowery bootblack tells story of his chum, a jolly brick, “ who died in a fire to save the life of a “ little cove he looked out for.” Full of interest and pathos. TUST COMMONPLACE. Recital. Patriotic. 10 min. In colloquial language, the self- depreciating narration about a real hero at Antietam, who could play only one tune--' 1 he Star Spangled Banner ”— on the fife, but that saved the day. Patriotic, pathetic and full of heart interest MIDNIGHT COURTSHIP. Play. 1 Act. Im., 2f., or Monologue.; Comedy. 10 min. Young lawyer, annoyed bv adverse newspaper criticism and fearful ot having lost his faibt case and s A^eetheart, is made happy by her unexpected appearance at midnight in hoarding- house parlor and by her a nouncing him as her fiance, to prevent talk of landlad}^ and boarders. MINISTER'S BLACK NANCE. Recitation. Horse-race. 10 mm. Crowd at country fair horse-race is shocked to see minister’s horse enter race and to learn that, instead ot min- ister's son, the minister's daughter is the driver, and wins the race. , r - OLD BENEDICT ARNOLD. Recitation. Tragic. Revolutionary War. ^ 15 mm. Yankee dialect. Granduncle of Benedict Arnold boasts of bravery ot the young hero_, and gives spirited description of battle of Saratoga. Benedict Arnold ’s turned traitor is the postrider’s news that interrupts, and the old man burns his quondam hero in effigy and himself leaps into the fire. . t-. j. j. j iiz ROSALIND'S SURRENDER. Monologue. Patriotism. Romance. Illustrated. JO min. ^^oman. A Virginia girl, whose ancestors fought for the Stars and Stripes, waves the Union flag as her Union lover goes by. LIST OF PAULINE PHELPS'S PIECES CONTINUED ON THIRD COVER PAGE. A Story of Hard Times, ■By TA.VLIME THELTS. Copyright, 1903, by Edgar S. Werner. O F course, ye read about it in the papers, sir; an’ may be ye’ve imagined how the workin’ class felt about the hard times ; but I tell ye, there can’t no imaginin’ nor newspapers nor hearsay — nothin’ but jest havin’ been there yerself can make ye realize the feelin’ that comes over a man when he walks up to git his Saturday night pay, an’ in the envelope is a slip sayin’ the force must be cut down an’ he won’t be needed there any more. It don’t so much matter if he’s alone in the world, but it generally happens he ain’t. An’ when I read that slip, the first thing I thought wa’n’t about gittin’ another place, or bein’ disappointed myself, but the way my wife would look when I broke the news to her. There was the little girl too. I tell ye, sir, I never had many chances, an’ my wife’s education ain’t much to boast of, either; but we talked it over between us, an’ made up our minds our Nell should have a show, go through the high school an’ through college, too, if she wanted, an’ keep on jest as long as we was able to work for her. “Never mind,” says my wife. “You .ought to git another place, an’ if ye don’t, the shops will start up in a week or two, an’ a little vacation will do ye good.” I wa’n’t so sure about the shops startin’ up, but I’d al- ways held that a strong, able-bodied man, that kep’ away from rum, could find work somewhere; an’ the next Mon- day mornin’ I started out to look for it. I tried the machine- ' shops first. They was all runnin’ short, an’ some of them jest laughed when I asked for a job. “Ye’re the seventh that’s been here this mornin’,” one boss ‘2 A STORY OF HARD TIMES said. What do ye suppose we want of you when we canh keep our own hands employed i imes was hard, I knew, an’ that wa’n’t much mpre than i expected but I hadn’t reckoned on gittin’ the same an- swer at every other place. I wa’n’t particular after a while. I tried them all, — grocery stores an’ butcher shops an’ ex- pressman s an wood yards. An’ every time I come home my wife would ask, meanin’ to make her voice sound as if she wa n t much concerned : “Well, did ye find any work to- day? An I d answer, cheerful as I could, because of little Nell talcin’ in every word : “No, didn’t seem to git along very well to-day. Presume, likely, I’ll strike somethin’ to-morrow.” But the next day things would go on jest the same, an’ I be- gun to feel discouraged. We hadn’t much laid by. I’d taken out a three-thousand-dollar life-insurance, in case anything should happen; but when times are prosperous folks git into the notion of thinkin’ they’re goin’ to continue that wav an’ spendin’ the money as it comes. An’ there was the rent to pay, the same as if I was to work. An’ the grocer sent in word he’d got to have the cash hereafter. I pawned my watch — a silver -ne, but it brought a little — an’ the ring I gave my wife once for her birthday, an’ a locket of little Nell’s. An’ one night ye might have seen me sneakin’ out of the back door with my winter overcoat done up in a bundle; an’ another time it was my wife’s silk dress, an’ then the rug from the parlor. Always at night, though; for, how- ever poor a man gits, it hurts his pride to have his neighbors know he ain’t had foresight to provide for a day like this. Ye remember that hot spell we had the last part of July? I come home one of them days when I’d been lookin’ for work, to find Nell lyin’ on the sofy with hardly strength to raise her head ; an’ then my wife let on she’d been sort of ailin’ for a week or two, but made her promise not to tell, because papa would want to get her a doctor, an’ she was sure he couldn’t afford it. There was jest two dollars in A STORY OF HARD TIMES 3 my pocket, but she had that doctor in less than half an hour. He laughed an’ told her he guessed she’d been playin’ too hard, an’ a little medicine would make her all right ; but when he got me out in the hall he sobered down. “I find considerable trouble with the heart,” says he ; “no settled disease, but she seems much run down. Has she been frettin’ over anything? Anything on her mind?” I told him I was out of work, an’ I presumed she was botherin’ about that. “Oh, yes ; she sees you lookin’ gloomy, I suppose, an’ it reacts on her. Now I am goin’ to speak plainly with ye. Cheerfulness is one thing yer daughter must have. Send her into the country for a month ; or, if ye can’t afford to do that, keep her from frettin’ about things she can not help. As for the hard times, most people are worryin’ themselves unnecessarily. Business will be in full swing again by the middle of October. Good day.” I stood there an’ looked after him, an’ wondered what dif- ference it would make what happened by the middle of Oc- tober, if a man couldn’t see his way clear to livin’ through August. I went down to look for work again that afternoon. I tried the barrooms this time, an’ the livery-stables, an’ tried to get a job sweepin’ streets; an’ when all that failed, I set down on a curbstone an’ looked at the people ridin’ by in their carriages, an’ wondered if ’twas the way the Lord in- tended it, that some should have ^erything an’ others noth- in’ ; an’ almost scared myself with the curses that kep’ corn- in’ into my mind, when I thought how easy it would have been for them to help me — an’ they wouldn’t. About four o’clock, as I was slouchin’ along the street, I heard the fire-bell ring; an’ the next minute the engines come puffin’ through the street. There was a crowd of boys, an’ women with shawls over their heads, an’ men ; an’ I followed with the rest. The fire was in a barn, an’ by the time the en- gines got there the downstairs was a solid mass of smoke. il, OF iLL U8. 4 A STORY OF HARD TIMES I asked a man if the horses were all out, an’ when he said “Yes,” stood an’ watched the firemen fix on the hose. Jest as the water begun to play, a woman standin’ near give a cry. “Oh,” says she, “see that little dog lookin’ out of the window ! There upstairs !” He was a little yellow, half-starved thing, an’ he stood an’ pawed at the glass as if he knew his only chance was to break it an’ jump. “It’s jest a stray dog,” says a hostler. “Followed some- body up there, I s’pose, an’ got the doors shut on him. Poor duffer !” A girl about as big as Nell commenced to cry. “Oh,” she says, “can’t somebody git ’im out? The fire hasn’t caught in that room at all yet. See ’im look! He’s, thinkin’ some of us could run up an’ unfasten the door, only we won’t. Please, mister, can’t you — ?” An’ I started. It might have been jest her sayin’ it, but it seemed to me that dog had the same thought in his mind as I’d had when I sit and watched the people go by in their carriages. In gen’ral. I’m an every-day, common-sense man, an’ hold a man’s life, with a wife an’ child dependin’ on him, too precious to be risked for the sake of a mongrel yellow dog. But jest for that minute it seemed the little critter had a soul, like' folks ; an’ I took one long breath an’ started in to save it. The smoke was so thick I couldn’t see the stairs. I stumbled over ’em, an’ then climbed up on my hands an’ knees ; an’ when I got to the top I remember thinkin’ I wouldn’t ever live to git back. But it was a little clearer in the room where the dog was, an’ as soon as I opened the door the little thing seemed to know what I come for, an’ give a run right into my arms. I broke a winder with my fist an’ got a taste of fresh air, an’ then started back, a-gropin’ my way down the stairs, blind an’ dizzy an’ gaspin’, an’ ’most givin’ up at the last, till I felt a breath not quite so thick with smoke, an’ knew the door was close by. A few of the men raised a cheer as I come out, but the biggest part of the crowd didn’t pay much attention ; an’ A STORY OF HARD TIMES when the fire died down they went away, an’ left me sittin’ on a pile of blankets that had been thrown out ; for I’d breathed so much smoke it made me feel queer. After a while I heard spmeone speak, an’ looked up. There was a fleshy, good-lookin’ man standin’ by me. “Well,” says he, “ye come mighty near gettin’ caught in that buildin’, my man. Do ye save dogs for fun or from a sense of duty?” I told him that I wa’n’t fond of seein’ animals suffer, if I could prevent it. “Well, I’m not, either,” says he, “but I didn’t think I could prevent it. Ye look played out. Anything I can do for ye?” An’ then, of course, I asked him for work. I’d said the words so often they rolled off from my tongue like somethin’ I’d learned by heart. But I knew from the start I wouldn’t git anything from him, an’ I had a queer feelin’ as if I’d never say them again, either. “No,” he said, “I don’t believe we can take ye. One of our men was taken sick a day or two ago, but we’ve decided we can git along without hirin’ till he’s better. Ever worked in a grocery store?” I told him, “No; I was brought up on a farm. Late years I’ve worked in a shop.” “Oh, yes, one of Colton’s hands. There’s been two or three around lately; but you see we should want a man who un- derstood the business, an’ I’ve made up my mind to git along without extry help for a time, anyway. I’m sorry I haven’t anything for ye. It can’t be very pleasant to be turned out of a job through no fault of yer own.” He was nice enough, ye see ; an’ folks will tell ye how much good a sympathetic word does. But I watched him walkin’ away, an’ felt as if I’d got to the end of my rope, — nothin’ to fall back on now, but that life-insurance policy. It give me a creepy feelin’ at first, when my thoughts kep’ strayin’ around to that ; but after a little the idea was sort of pleasant to me. May be my wife would feel worse at first about her husban’s dyin’ than she would about bein’ on the town books 6 A STORY OF HARD TIMES as a pauper ; but there wouldn’t be anything to be ashamed of in the first kind of grief. An’ when my little Nell grew up, her dad havin’ made a misstep one night an’ fell into the river wouldn’t be nothin’ for people to find' out an’ fling in her face. I set there with my head in my hands, thinkin’, till the clock struck six. I had it all decided then, an’ I got up an’ started for home. It wa’n’t till I opened the door at the foot of our stairs that I felt somethin’ snuffin’ at my heels, an’ saw the little dog I saved from the fire had followed me. I picked him up in my arms, an’ opened the sittin’-room door with a rush. ‘^Any news ?” asks my wife, all in a tremble, cornin’ out to meet me. “News! I should think so!” I yelled, flinging up my hat. “Why, Nell, yer dad’s a hero! Saved a dog’s life! Cheers and applause! Asked to call around to-morrow an’ see about a job! Good times ahead! Hurrah!” It wa’n’t very well done. I never had much practice in lies, ye see, but Nell brightened up in a minute. She made me sit over on the sofy by her, an’ tell her all about the fire, an’ how the little doggy looked, an’ what the man I was goin’ to work for said; an’ I told her not to bother her little head with notions. The matter wa’n’t decided yet, but the next day I’d tell her all about it. An’ when I asked about sup- per, an’ my wife said the butter was all out, an’ she hadn’t bought any meat that day, I commenced to laugh, an’ kep’ it up so long she got frightened an’ thought I was losin’ my mind. But somethin’ I saw in her face quieted me. When — that — happened the next day, I couldn’t have my wife always thinkin" I acted strange the last night, an’ wonderin’ if I did it on purpose. I pushed my chair back from the table. “Come now,” I says, “let’s all take a ride on the electric cars. We’ve been mopin’ long enough ; a little outin’ will be good for us. Ye’d like to go, Nellie, wouldn’t ye?” “Oh, yes,” says she, as pleased as if I’d offered her a for- tune, “an’ I’ll take the dog. He’s so little I can hold him A STORY OF HARD TIMES right in my lap, an’ the carman won’t see him. Can’t I take the dog, papa?” I told her “Yes,” an’ we started. Two women got on the crossin’ after we did, I remember, an’ we all shoved along to make room. “See how full the car is,’’ says one, “an’ mostly workin’ people. I was sure the reports of the sufferin’ among them were exaggerated.” She was holdin’ a long, knit purse, an’ the thought come into my mind to snatch it away from her an’ run. For a minute I had to grip my hands together; then I remembered the steppin’ off the bridge. would be surer, may be, an’ there couldn’t nobody call that a disgrace. An’ all the while I was thinkin’ it over I was talkin’ with Nell, tellin’ about the way I used to do on a farm : How I drove the cows, an’ plowed, an’ raked the hay. The air blew cool in her face, an’ sent a pink flush there. On the way back my wife roused up a little, too, an’ commenced to talk of the times when we went to school together, an’ what everybody said an’ did. An’ I laughed and joked as if I hadn’t a care in the world. But when we got to the house I helped ’em off, an’ then stepped back onto the car. ‘T’m a little nervous to-night,” says I. “Guess I’ll ride up here a ways, an’ then walk back to quiet me.” My wife looked queer. “Never mind. Jack,” says she. “Something will happen,” an’ I see it all hadn’t deceived her any. As the cars started someone touched me on the shoulder. It was the man who had talked with me that afternoon. “Thought I’d seen ye before,” says he, “but I couldn’t think who it was till I noticed the dog. Found a place yet?” I said ; “No, an’ don’t expect to.” “Say, I was thinkin’, after ye’d gone, that I didn’t know what was the use of us doin’ all that extry work while the clerk was sick, as long as there was plenty anxious to take it off our hands. Now, ye’re new to the business, an’, of course, I can’t pay fancy prices. But if ye want to come an’ try it 8 A STORY OF HARD TIMES for a while — probably till the shops open — it’s only seven dol- lars a week, but — ” I turned round, then, an’ caught hold of his hand. I told him what he said had saved my life — an’ felt ashamed of myself for saying it. “Oh, ye’d found a place somewhere,” says he. “That yer little girl ye had with ye? She don’t look very strong. Ought to send her out in to the country for a while.” “We’d been plannin’ on it,” I said, “but the hard times had stepped in to prevent.” The cars come to the terminus then, an’ we got off. “Well, good night,” says he. “I suppose I’ll see ye at six to-morrow — 527 Main, the place is.” An’ then he added, a little as if he was ashamed of it : “If yer girl wants country air, there’s my brother’s folks live down Sconset way — ^big farm, plenty of milk, lots of children. My Jennie’s goin’ down next week. One more won’t make any difference. Ye’d better plan it so yer little girl can go along with her, an’ they’ll have all the better fun — Why, hang it all, what ails ye ? Come, I say, don’t do that ; brace up and be a man !” for when I tried to thank him there was a lump in my throat that choked me, an’ I jest stood there, with the tears runnin’ down my face. I’ve been thinkin’ a good deal about it since; an’ it sort of seems — though I ain’t a preachin’ man nor a perfessor of re- ligion — as if some trouble was jest sent to show what poor, miser’ble failures of livin’ we’d make if there wa’n’t nobody to oversee us. There I was, gropin’ away by myself for weeks, growin’ more an’ more desperit every day, an’ plannin’ to git out of the world; an’ all the time the Lord was seein’ to everything, even to our goin’ to ride an’ takin’ jes that car. There’s a story how our shops start up next month, an’ the country’s seen the worst of it. But what I started to say, an’ what I believe, sir, is that there can’t none of them writers nor editors nor folks that are fond of givin’ advice tell how the workin’ men feel over the hard times unless they’ve been through it themselves. LIST OF PAULINE PHELPS’S PIECES, CONTINUED FROM SECOND COVER PAGE. SCORCHING vs# DIAMONDS. Monologtte# Comedy. JO min# Woman, Whimsical old woman promises diamond necklace to grandniece wnose conduct is most pleasing. The heroine, to cure aunt’s headache, wheels to town for medicine, is nearly arrested for scorch- ing, and ends in a collision. Her victim falls in love with her and she gets the diamonds. SEVEN AGES OF MAN# Pantomimed Poem. Burlesque. 15 min# Any number. Poem by Shakespeare, pantomime by P. Phelps. Pictures infant, schoolboy, lover, soldier, justice, old man, verv old man. SPINSTER THURBER^S CARPET. Recitation. Revolutionary War. 10 min. Old maid, reprimanded for extravagance for buying a carpet while Continental troops are suffering at Valley Forg e, p uts committee to flight by her sharp tongue. SHAKESPERIAN CONFERENCE# Play. Burlesque. 45 min. 4m, 51.- Cleopatra, Lady Macbeth, Juliet, Desdemona, '‘Miss Cawdor,” Romeo, Hamlet, Macbeth,, and Shylock hold a conference to discuss " The Unpopularity of Shakespeare’s Plays, and the Remedy for It,” and incidentally to increase and collect their royalties, A clever med- ley of Shakesperian language, modern slang and nonsense. STORY OF HARD TIMES, A. Monologue. Pathos. 15 min. Man. Man tells pa- thetic story of when he was out of work with wife and sick child to care for. By saving a ^dog in a Are, he obtains the long-sought-for employment. SWEET-GIRL GRADUATE# Monologue. Comedy. 10 min. Woman# Graduating dress. Girl is rehearsing graduating essav when chums come, and there follows a mixture of high-flowing essay and school-girl nonsense; also a scene between girl and lover, just before she goes on platform to take part in commencement exercises. TELEPHONE ROMANCE. Monologue. Comedy. Elocution Lesson. 10 min# Woman. Sitting-room with teleph'ne scene. Girl passing through a fit of jealousy fi’tally calls lover through ’phone to hasten to her house to protect her from a supposed mouse. TRIAL PERFORMANCE. Monologue (Woman) or 1-act Play for 2f# Comedy# 10 min. Scene between theatrical agent and stage-struck country girl determined to get a hearing, and who inflicts samples of her acting on discomforted agent. Opportunity for a varied performance. PRICE, 25 CENTS EACH. merner’s Selections with elocution Eessons Ho. I . . . BRINGS TO YOUR HOME . . . EMMA DUNNING BANKS, Actress, Public Reader, Teacher, Author of “ Banks s Recitations with Lesson-Talks.” BERTHA L. COLBURN, Teacher, Author of ” Graded Physical Exercises.” ANNA D COOPER, Teacher, Public Reader, Director of Poses in the Pantomimes, “Star- Spangled Banner,” and “ The Listening Ear of Night.” ANNA RANDALL-DIEHL, Teacher, Public Reader, Author of “ Elocutionarv Studies,” etc. GRACE B. FAXON, Teacher, Public Reader, Formerly an Editor of “ Werner's Magazine.” HENRV GAINES HAWN, Teacher, Author, President of the National Association of Elocu- tionists ERNEST LEGOUVE, of,the French Academy, Eminent Playwright and Dramatic Teacher. J. M. D. MEIKLEJOHN, Eminent Scotch Elocutionist and Author. SAIDEE V. MILNE, Teacher, Public Reader, Author. AMELIA RING MORGENROTH, Teacher, Director of Entertainments at Educational Alliance. E. V. SHERIDAN, Actress, Teacher of Dramatic Art, Author, Playwright. HERMANN VEZIN, the Eminent London Teacher of Elocution. ELISE WEST, Teacher, Public Reader, Formerly an Editor of “ Werner’s Magazine.” CORA_ !M. WHEELER, Teacher, Author, Formerly First V ice-President of the National Associa- tion of Elocutionists WHOSE CONTRIBUTIONS REPRESENT ALL THE LEADING CONTEMPORANEOUS SCHOOLS OR SYSTEMS OF ELOCUTION AND PHYSICAL CULTURE 35 SPLENDID LESSONS IN ELOCUTION FOR $1.25 BOOKS SENT POSTPAID ON RECEIPT OF PRICE EDGAR S. WERNER PUBLISHING & SUPPLY CO. (Inc.) 43-4-5 East Nineteenth Street, New York 32 nm$tratio«$, Suitable for Pantomime ana taMeaiix FINELY PRINTED a.nd BOUND in CLOTH, 75 CENTS, POSTPAID €daar $. Werner PuWisWng § Supply go. (Tnc.) 43,45 EAST NINETEENTH ST., NEW YOR.K A FINE GIFT BOOK Berner's Christmas Book A Coiiectior, R^ECITATIONS. READINGS. SONGS, CAROLS, PANTOMIME, DRILL, etc. V* WKile Spocia.lly Suita^ble for Christma.s, is Good for a^ny Occe>,sion Dramatic Dumorous Pathetic Descriptive Dialect Relidious , c f 808.5 P5lc ^ 1 - N j ? S* . . ' I / ;? '.'^ ' i’ i'/, by Eboxr S. W£sj;;iil j .-. 4)f ■ rrr.;. i‘i CEN'TS>:ArH. PRICE, 35 CENTS EACH. Pauline Phelps’s Pieces Most Successful Pieces — in the Repertoires of America’s Most Popular Reciters^ — Prize Winners Everywhere. Published Exclusively by EDGAR S. WERNER & CO., now Belmar, N. J. Formerly 11 East 14th Street, New York. PRICE, 35 CENTS EACH. N. — A distinguishing feature of PAULINE PHELPS’S PIECES is that every one is hrst tested and proved a hit on the public platform before it is published. As the Moon Rose. Recitation. Revolu- tionary War. 8 min. Girl makes perilous horse-back ride to carry pardon for lover un- justly condemned as spy. Manuscript lesson- talk, $1. extra. Aunt Elnora’s Hero. Monologue. Comedy. 10 min. Girl. Ten-year old girl tells how she, by dressing up in sheet and jack-o- lantern head, scares man her old-maid aunt thinks a hero and wants to marry. Aunt Sarah on Bicycles. Monologue. Comedy. 10 min. Woman. Elderly itnaiden lady tells how niece and son of a neighbor with whom she has been at odds run off on a tandem and get married, followed in a wagon by herself and the father, and how the ride leads to their becoming engaged. Manuscript lesson-talk. $1 extra. Average Boy. Comedy country dialect char- acter sketch verse recital. 10 min. Banjo and bone effects. City boy maintains that country pleasures cannot compare with de- lights of a vaudeville show and reveals he is secretly practising to join minstrel show. Elaborate lesson-talk by the author. Betsy Holden’s Burglars. Yankee Dialect Comedy Monologue for a Woman. 15 min. New England timid spinster has various surprises and interruptions while waiting for guests to annual family reunion, greatest surprise being return after long absence and proposal of lover. Biff Perkins’s Toboggan Slide. Monologue. Comedy. 10 min. Boy. Boy gets old- maid aunt and a professor on his sled and an upset leads to matrimony. “A sled and a boy and a _ custard pie make an awful good combination.” Billy’s Animal Show. Humorous recitation for a boy. 6 min. When his old-maid aunt’s Turkey missionary lecture before the Little Mothers was delayed on account of railroad washout, boy secretly substitutes animal show of mice, rat, dog, cat, dancing-monkey and swearing-parrot; animals get loose, and break up meeting, resulting in interfering with aunt’s matrimonial designs on missionary, boy’s punishment by his father, and other disasters. Cook, The. Monologue. Comedy. 10_ min. Woman. Cook costume. Irish dialect. Cook, directed by mistress not to open door for callers, follows instructions when, at night, a cat is raising a terrible rumpus in the dining-room, upsetting various things, racket bringing in police. Daisy’s Music Practice Hour. Comedy Girl Monologue. Music specially arranged by A. J. Goodrich. 20 min. Ten-year-old girl interrupts her compulsory piano lesson with all sorts of excuses, protests and re- marks. Piece can be expanded by various comedy effects. All the music is given. Deacon Slocum’s Presence of Mind. Monologue. Comedy. 10 min. Woman. Yankee dialect. Outstripped by women in putting out a fire a deacon (who has had much to say about men’s superiority over women) ends a 20 years’ courtship by proposing. Dumb-waiter Difficulty. Acting Monologue for a Woman. 15 min. Girl gushes over engagement ring and over lover whose letter she reads while awaiting him to take her to concert. Mistaking janitor, mending door, for a dog, she blows pepper tlirough key- hole ; and. fearing janitor will vent his wrath on lover, she gets lover to come in dumb-waiter, which gets stuck ; other occu- pants of house get involved with ludicrous results, lover in disheveled condition finally reaching her from fire-escape. Full lesson- talk by author. Family Plate Monologue Comedy. 8 min. Woman. Irish dialect. Women tells of ludicrous events resulting from getting ready and attempting to have her family photographed. Fire ov/n’s New Scboolbouse. Monologue. Comedy. 12 min. Woman. Deacon’s wife tel’s how neighborhood assembles to vote whether it shall have new schoolhouse. After an exciting time, the first ballot being a tie, she slips out and bribes “Hermit Jim” to rush in and vote for a new schoolhouse. Her Cub? [Calls off stage. 1 Ma, if I play my lesson all through, will you take me to the circus, maybe? Oh, I wish you would, I haven’t been to the circus not since the last time it was here. Won’t you please ? I don’t like to count aloud ; ’tisn’t good for my voice. Well, will you take me, if I do count aloud? [Delightedly,] Yes, ma’am, I will [Turns pages and plays '‘Servant Girls' Chorus from ‘Martha/" counting in high childish treble voice, but showing absolute disregard for time and discords.] SERVANT GIRLS’ CHORUS, FROM «‘MARTHA.” 4 DAlSrs MUSIC PRACTICE HOUR. Oh, I just love to go to the circus. There’s a man there, all dressed in white, with powder all over his face, and he’s awful funny; then there’s a boy on a horse, and he goes right through a hoop [pantomime business^ just like that; then there’s another man, and he’s a sword-swallower. Why, he swallows a big long- sword most six feet [pantomime husiness'\. Just puts his head back and he swallows it right down, but it don’t kill him. I know it don’t kill him, because afterward he gets up, and [business] bows and kisses his hands to the audience just as nice as any- thing. [Hurrying back to piano.] Yes, ma’am, I’m going to. [Business.] I’m just practicing my Delsarte exercises. Oh, dear! I can’t have a minute’s rest. [Plays following music, counting unevenly and playing discordantly ; stops suddenly, listens, rises and runs to window {supposedly at right front of stage facing audience). Business of raising window and looking out.] DAISY’S MUSIC PRACTICE HOUR, 5 Fed. t==i , — 0 - m H* # /“y ft — — ! 1 1 1 1 p 1 -j<3 . 1 ! ^ fm ♦ ' ' 0 -<5> -H 1 w — V ■-ZSl ^ ^ — 1 0 — # » 0 # HP •- 6 DAISY’S MUSIC PRACTICE HOUR. rail. DAISY’S MUSIC PRACTICE HOUR. 7 Oh, there’s the organ-man, I must see if he’s got his monkey. No, he hasn’t. I haven’t any pennies for you. I’m just listening, that’s all. {Looking across street.'] Oh, there’s Grace. Hello, Gracie. come here a minute, I want to tell you something. Where ^ybu going? No, I can’t — I’ve got to practice. I’m most finished, though; will you wait for me? All right. What have you got in the bag? I guess I do like fudge, hand me a piece, will you? {Business of leaning out window and taking candy.] Sh! my sister’s coming candy]. Yes, I’ll come as soon as I get through. All right, good-bye. {Closes window hurriedly, crosses to piano and talks to extreme right, facing audience.] Well, I guess I couldn’t practice when the organ-man was there, could I ? If I was a big sister like you, I wouldn’t be so cross to my little sister {sitting down and trying to appear much injured] and listen to her practice all the time {turning pages disinterestingly] . Well, I can’t keep time when you watch me, now. {Pertly.] Oh, I’m going to as soon as I can find it. Turns pages and plays sixteen meas- ures of following music, using loud pedal and playing very badly. Finish measure sixteen with a discordant hang and give following line immediately.] Well, my teacher says I’ve got to use the pedal. Oh, you can tell ma, if you want to {continue playing through re- niainder of piece, speaking lines very clearly and not allowing them to he drowned hy music] ; but if you do. I’ll tell how you said good-night to Archie Hammond last Sunday. Yes, I do. I watched you over the banister, and you can see lots of things over the banisters. You said “good-night” twelve times. I know, ’cause I counted. {Turns, faces sister at right front and discon> tinues playing.] /^%a H - 1 1 — 1 — , / P (mis=pT=f=\ ■■■■ w d d F~T M f 1 pg— r-i*nr' r-f J^- M- ~t-r~ I 1 8 DAISY’S MUSIC PRACTICE HOUR. Oh, Alice! yes, you did; first you stood way off, like this [rises, and introduces burlesque business of good-night scene], and you said, “Good-night, Mr. Hammond, must you be going?’^ And he said, “Well, yes. I’m going to catch that car” ; and then he kinder swallowed something down in his throat and he said, DAISY’S MUSIC PRACTICE HOUR. 9 “Fve had a real pleasant eve iing, good-night.’' And then you tried to look so sweet, and your voice was so soft, and you said, “I’m awfully glad you have had a pleasant evening, Mr. Ham- mond.” I just wish he could hear you talk to me sometimes! Then he took your hand and he said, “Good-night, Miss Alice” ; and you said, “Oh, good-night, Mr. Hammond, there goes your .ar’; and he said, “Well, let it go. [With dramatic fervor.] Call me Archie.” [Showing great delight at Alice’s discomfiture.] Then pa called from up-stairs and asked if that young gentleman was there yet. And Mr. Hammond — I mean Archie — he hurried out of that front door and down the steps like a flash, and you went up and told pa that poor Mr. Hammond had to wait so long for his car. Yes, you did, too [walking tozvard piano]. Well, I’ll tell everybody I want to, so there. [Turning quickly to sister.] Yes, and I know Archie’s little sister, and I’ll tell her, too. [Sits on piano stool.] What’ll you give me, if I don’t? Some pepper- mints? Well, if you’ll give me half a pound of peppermints and go away, and not bother me until I get all through practicing, T won’t tell. [Turning to piano and looking over shoulder as sister leaves room.] You mustn’t come back, not till I’m all finished. [Delightedly.] All right. I won’t tell about that (but I’ll get under the parlor sofa Sunday night). [Turns pages of music hook and plays following music with dreadful discord.] Ma says, she thinks I’ll be a great musician some day, and pa says, he guesses the teacher’ll be rich by that time. Teacher says, I’ve got the temper meant for it, Um, I haven’t got a temper like she has, anyhow ; she’s as cross as two sticks, that’s because she’s an old maid, I guess, [Discontinues playing.] Oh, I’m getting 10 DAISY’S MUSIC PRACTICE HOUR awful tired of practicing. Doctor says ’tisn’t good to practice toe much, anyway, 'cause you get St. Vitus’s dance if you do. [Sud* denly.] Oh ! I must try my new song; it’s the loveliest song, the tune came out of our school singing-book, but Billie Bumps maae the words up out of his own head, and we sung them in school this morning, and teacher got awful mad, and she marked us all three demerits. [Strikes a high note then a lozver one.] I have to find the key ; guess that one fits my voice best. [Plays follozving music zvith one hand, sing'ing ojf key and finishing each verse zjuith comedy effect.] Slow. DAISY’S MUSIC PRACTICE HOUR, II* ■ L— rn ^ ri ^ r— 3^ 1 ! — 2 b J J ^ J H — — 1 m f • m ' 'I VI J m —it J L ~m • •■■■■■ i — W 1^“^ s — , »• H 2 m "t 5 i ~7:i — — H V 1 ~ ‘ -4- ^ when they meet, And say, “Oh, aint he sweet” most ev - 'ry night, has, I know That we should feel just so, and that’s a fact. r P • m « « ^ A • • 1 ; Ip'’ 1 “ « 1 — ‘ 9 0 W 1 1 I ! — h— T ' ^ ✓ 1 1 1 — (Sing 2a verse to the same music.) {Calls off stage.] Yes, ma’am. Well, I’m going to play my scales right now. Oh, I just hate scales! {Plays scales deject- edly.] il ill L!B. 12 DAISY’S MUSIC PRACTICE HOUR. If you keep on practicing scales all the days of your life, you'll get to be a wonderful player after awhile [finishing scale], and then you don’t ever have to comb your hair. I heard a man play once ; he was an Irishman ; I know he was Irish, because his name was Paddy something or other, and he played just like this [imita- tion] c Oh, if I could play a little louder, it would sound just like him. Dear, my fingers are mpst worn out — I’ve practiced so hard. [Rises delightedly.] Oh, the clock’s striking [closing hook] ; my time’s up ; I don’t have to practice any more to-day ; wonder where I put my hat. [Unconsciously.] Sometimes I have good days practicing and sometimes I have bad days, and this has been one of my good ones. I must have left my hat in the other room. Ma, I’m all through practicing, may I go round to Gracie’s house for a little while now? Yes, ma’am. I’ll come home at dinner time. All right. Good'bye. [Quick exit,] PAULINE PHELPS’S PIECES — Continued Jolly Brick, A. Monologue. Pathos. 8 min. Boy. Bowery bootblack tells story of his chum., “a jolly brick,” who died in a fire to save the life of a “little cove he looked out for.” Full of interest and pathos. Just Commonplace. Recital. Patriotic. 10 nun. In colloquial language, the self-depre- ciating narration about a real hero at Antie- tam, who could play only one tune— “The Star Spangled Banner” — on the fife, but that saved the day. Patriotic, pathetic and full of heart interest. Midnight Courtship. Play. 1 Act. 1 m., 2 f., or Monologue. Comedy. 10 min. Young lawyer, annoyed by adverse news- paper criticism and fearful of having lost his first case and sweetheart, is made happy by her unexpected appearance at midnight in boarding-house parlor and by her an- nouncing him as her fiance, to prevent talk of landlady and boarders. Business given. Millinery Melee. Monologue. Comedy. 10 min. Woman. Newly-married woman, who takes husband to help select a hat, is so upset by his meeting a former sweetheart that she not only fails to buy a hat, but directs suspicion to herself as shoplifter. Business given. Minister’s Black Nance. Recitation. Horse- race. 10 min. Crowd at country fair horse-race is shocked to see minister’s horse enter race and to learn that, instead of minister’s son, the minister’s daughter is the driver, and wins the race. Old Benedict Arnold. Recitation. Tragic. Revolutionary War. 15 min. Yankee dia- lect. Granduncle of Benedict Arnold boasts of bravery of the young hero, and gives spirited description of battle of Saratoga. “Benedict Arnold’s turned traitor” is the postrider’s news that interrupts, and the old man burns his quondam hero in effigy and himseli leaps into the fire. Manuscript les- son-talk, $1 extra. Reverend Mr. Tuffscrappen. Recitation. 15 min. Flaming red-haired man combines tin-peddling and preaching ; takes rebuffs good-humoredly, and by force of real ability and perseverance wins rich man’s daughter for wife. Rosalind’s Surrender. Monologue. Patri- otism. Romance. _ Illustrated. 15 min. Woman. A Virginia girl, whose ancestors fought for the Stars and Stripes, waves the Union flag as her Union lover goes by. Business given. Scorching vs. Diamonds. Monologue. Comedy. 10 min. Woman. Whimsical old woman promises diamond necklace to grandniece whose conduct is most pleasing. The heroine, to cure aunt’s headache, wheels to town for medicine, is nearly arrested for scorching and ends in a collision. Her vic- tim falls in love with her and she gets the diamonds. Seven Ages of Man. Pantomimed Poem. Burlesque. 15 min. Any number. Poem by Shakespeare, pantomime by P. Phelps. Pictures infant, schoolboy, lover, soldier, justice, old man, very old man. Shakespearian Conference. Play. Bur- lesque. 45 min. 4m, 5f. Cleopatra, Lady Macbeth, Juliet, Desdemona, “Miss Caw- dor,” Romeo, Hamlet, Macbeth and Shylock hold a conference to discuss “The Unpopu- larity of Shakespeare’s Plays and the Rem- edy for It,” and incidentally to increase and collect their royalties. A clever medley of Shakespearian language, modern slang and nonsense. Business given. Manuscript lesson-talk, $1 extra. Spinster Thurber’s Carpet. Recitation. Revolutionary War. 10 min. Old maid, reprimanded for extravagance for buying a carpet while Continental troops are suffering at Valley Forge, puts committee to flight by her sharp tongue. Story of Hard Times. Monologue. Pathos. 15 min. Man. Man tells pathetic story of when he was out of work with wife and sick child to care for. By saving a dog in a fire, he obtains the long-sought-for em- ployment. Sweet-Girl Graduate. Monologue. Comedy. 10 min. Woman. Graduating dress. Girl is rehearsing graduating essay when chums come, and there follows a mixture of high- flowing essay and school-girl nonsense ; also a scene between girl and lover, just before she goes ^ on platform to take part in com- mencement exercises. Business given. Telephone Romance. Monologue. Comedy. Elocution Lesson. 10 min. Woman. Sit- ting-room with telephone scene. Girl pass- ing through a fit of jealousy finally calls lover through ’phone to hasten to her house to protect her from a supposed mouse. Full business and lesson-talk. Thanksgiving Day at Grandma’s. Recita- tion. 8 min. Boy. Verse. Yankee Dia- lect. Boy tells of preparation for and good times on Thanksgiving at farm where his whole family go, and rejoices that he is only “a common boy” so he can enjoy “turkeys ’n’ Thanksgivin’s” which “keep a-comin’ ev’ry year.” Elaborate lesson-talk by the author. Trial Performance. Monologue. (Woman) or 1-act Play for 2f. Comedy. 10 min. Scene between theatrical agent and stage- struck country girl determined to get a hearing, and who inflicts samples of her acting on discomforted agent. Opportunity for a varied performance. Business given. What a Masquerade Did. Romantic Com- edy Monologue for a Woman. 15 min. Eligible society widow, jealous of attentions paid to stepdaughter, schemes to get rid of her by marrying her to a rich and eld'^rly man; but, mistaking at a masquerade girl’s real (and poor) lover for the other man, she opens way for lovers to elope ; where- upon rich man proposes to and is accepted by widow. UTER PAULINE PHELP’S PIECES Overalls Bridget. Dramatic serio- comic woman monologue. Irish- woman unappreciated in ordinary dress is much admired in overalls while doing government work. She loves lame man sitting beside her, but believes him slacker, accepts attentions of foreman, Mr. Smith, learns from him he is German and she reports this information to employer. He seemingly pays no attention to her report. One day an explosion occurs. Smith is arrested and Bridget saves lame man and many others and learns lame man was injured in war be- fore Americans took part in it. Clever, bright bits introduced. Very successful. 10 min. Food Conservation Club Meet- ing. Humorous woman mono- logue. Dog biscuit and champagne served as Hoover’s idea of food when regular refreshments failed. Sorry effects from supposed cider. 8 min. Side Show, The. $1.00 in manu- script on’.y. Phelps and Short. Just out. Clever, exceedingly humorous Monologue and duo- logue for a Barker who an- nounces varibus exhibits present at Show with interrupting re- marks of people present. The very stout lady also speaks. Au Revoir Sallie. Phelps and Short. Humorous telephone mon- ologues for one girl, one man, one small boy, or all may be given by one man or one woman. Have been well tested in vaudeville and was very successful. Although girl and man talk to man’s sweet- heart over ’phone most sweetly, small brother gives away fact that both had been annoyed and had said “things” because dinner had been interrupted. 10 min. Mrs. Moneymade’s Fitting. Phelps and Short. Humorous woman monologue. Newly rich, without culture, in getting fitted, woman out-malaprops Mrs. Mala- prop in telling saleswoman in de- partment store of European trip. Exceedingly funny misuse of words. Very popular. 8 min. EDGAR S. WERNER & CO., BELMAR, NEW JERSEY \ ^ )• liv.: ift|. r^. .-^ -^. - : Ai VL UJerpe r PuW i sl)\r - ' Co»)|aAi>^ •--prict 25 C€t>t5-- Pauline Phelps's Recitations. If you are la search of original, unhackneyed, and superior recitations, these are what you need. Miss Phelps’s work for me has been most satisfactory.” — Blanche L. Frider- ici, New York. “AS THE MOON ROSE.” 25 cts. “ I have had great success with ‘ As the Moon Rose,’ and have given it in forty towns this season, and nearly every paper speaks of it particularly.” — Mrs. Elizabeth de Barrie Gill, Philadelphia. A Revolutionary story of a girl’s ride to save her lover. Intensely dramatic. “AUNT ELNORA’S HERO.” 25 cts. “ Took well. Th» audience was at times convulsed.” — Chas. H. Wevill, Manager Committee Philadelphia Y. M. C. A. How a girl dresses up as a ghost and fright- ens a man who is always bragging of his brav-. ery. “ THE MINISTER’S BLACK NANCE.” 25 cts. ‘'One of my pupils recited at the Knights of Pythias entertainment, and made a de- cided hit. Another pupil captured the town with ‘ Her Cuban Tea.’ ” — Norrine L. Cochrane, Tennessee. A girl dresses up in her brother’s clothes and wins a race. “A SHAKESPEARIAN CONFERENCE.” 25 cts. Recently given with great success by the Avon Shakespeare Club of New York, one of the most particular and highest- grade Shakespeare Clubs in America. A new and original burlesque for four males and five females. “THE SWEET GIRL-GRADUATE.” 25 cts. “ I like ‘ The Sweet Girl-Graduate ’ as well as, if not better than, ‘ A Telephone Romance.’” — Belle Spier, New York. A humorous monologue telling of two lovers’ quarrel, and their reconciliation at the gradua- ting exercises at a young ladies’ seminary. On the same style as “ A Telephone Romance.” “A TELEPHONE ROMANCE.” 25 cts. With Les- son-Talk. “ Every one of Miss Phelps’s pieces is excellent — unusually good. I congratu- late her. I have three pupils giving ‘ A Telephone Romance.’” — Mme. El De Louie, New York. A^ humorous monologue in one scene, about a girl s quarrel with her lover, her Aight at a supposed mouse, and her reconciliation. f “AUNT SARAH ON BICYCLES.” 25 cts. How a tandem helped a couple to ride to matrimony. Humorous. “THE COOK.” 25 cts. Humorous Irish, dialect narrative of how a ser.vapt-girl and a cat turned things topsyturvy in a household. “HER CUBAN TEA.” 25 cts. ‘‘‘Her Cuban Tea’ is extremely clever and works up well. One of my pupils has brought it out here.” — Sara Greenleaf Frost, Missouri. A hostess treats her guests to strong cider, calling it “ Cuban Tea,” which makes them all lively. “ THANKSGIVING DAY AT GRANDMA’S.” 25 cts. The good things to be had and to be done at “ Grandma’s on Thanksgivin’ day.” Child dia- Ifect. “BURLESQUE PANTOMIME OF SHAKESPEARE’S ’ SEVEN AGES OF MAN.’ ” 15 cts. At a recent Shakespearian entertainment in Brooklyn, this pantomime was the hit of the evening. Miss Phelps is also the compiler and arranger of “ Werner’s Readings and Recitations Nos. 19, 20, and 21 ” (35 cts. each), which, besides many other excellent recitations, contain the following by Miss Phelps: “ Just Commonplace,” “ Old Bene- dict Arnold,” “Scorching versus Diamonds,” “How Mr. Simonson Took Care of the Baby,” “ Just Like Them,” “ Spinster Thurber’s Carpet,” “ A Story of Hard Times,” “ Firetown’s New School- house,” “ A Jolly Brick,” and “ The Average Boy.” Publishers, Edgar S. Werner Publishing & Supply Co I, Incorporated, 43 East 19th Street, New York. ROSALIND’S Surrender. By PAULINE PHELPS. Written for and given by Miss Jeannette Goodman. Copyright, 1901, by Edgar S. Werner Publishing & Supply Co. (Inc.) Time: 1862. Place : Virginia. Present: Miss Rosalind Hamilton. Supposed to be present: Mrs. Davenport^ her aunt; Private John Slocum^ a Union soldier. Scene: A Southern sitting-room. Door, back; staircase, with rooms above it, center. Small stand at L., banjo laid carelessly on it. Table at R. center, holding basket with sewing materials, pieces of red and blue party dresses, and Confederate flag partly com- pleted. Chair near by, facing front. Rosalind discovered, talking- off stage, back. Rosalind. Good-bye, Aunt. Have a nice time, and don’t hurry back on my account. Pll find plenty to do. ^Conies to stage center.] I thought Pd never get her away. [Takes candle from shelf, lights it, and places it at left zvmg, on stand.] I wonder if he’s watch- ing for it. [Returns to center.] If Aunt Rebecca knew a Union soldier was coming to call to-night she’d never forgive me, but I don t think it’s policy to be uncourteous to our enemies — especially an enemy you used to make mud-pies with when you were little. in chair, and picks up sczving from table.] Of course I’m a 2 ROSALIND'S SURRENDER. “1 wonder if he’s watching for it.” ROSALIND'S SURRENDER. 3 “Jack likes red roses best.” 4 ROSALIND'S SURRENDER. Southerner now — Lm making this flag to prove it. But my father was a Northern man, and my ancestors fought behind that old rail fence at Bunker Hill for the Stars and Stripes. Heigho ! if other women get as mixed up in their feelings as I do, I don’t wonder the men think we d better keep out of politics. [Suddenly puts dozvn sewings runs to uase of dozvers on stand with banjo, selects red rose and puts it in her hair.] Jack likes red roses best. [Runs to zvindozv and looks out.] He’s dreadfully slow. I thought he’d be just straining his eyes for that light in the window. [Coming dozvn to center.] A soldier ought to be more prompt. [Piteously.] Perhaps he s forgot all about it. [Defiantly.] I don’t care if he has; I dare say I 11 have a much pleasanter time here alone by mvself. [PfH dozvn m chair by table, and heaves a deep sigh. Sews two stitches, glancing at the zvindozv betzvecn stitches. Lays dozvn zvork.] I ve a good notion to take that candle out. [Springing to feet.] I will! [Does .?(7.] Now if he comes lie can just go away again — and he needn’t think I’m feeling badly about it, either. [Picks up banjo from stand and begins to sing lively song, stopping abruptly at end of hrst verse.] I thought I heard a step. [Hesi- tates, then gets candle and places it-^rin window again. Rather shamefacedly.] I I don t care about his coming' in, but I wouldn’t want him to hurt himself stumbling over that broken plank. [Sings next verse of song, adding dance steps, if fancied. Ecstatically.] He’s in the hall! [Sings chorus, shozving to audience by face and manner that she is azvare of his entrance to tlie room. Turns sud- denly, stopping music.] Why, Jack, how you startled me! I’d for- gotten all about you. [Pause.] Yes, Auntie’s gone for the whole evening — if she don't come back. [Pause.] Oh, no; she’s never made the least objection to your calling — I presume because it never entered her head you’d have the audacity to try it. You’re awfully sober. Is anything the matter? [Pause.] Well, then, I wouldn’t act as if there were, that’s all. [Sits dozvn in chair beside table, and picks up flag.] You’ll excuse my sewing. [Pause, then defiantly.] Yes, it’s a flag — a Southern flag, and Pm tearing up my old party dresses to make it for our boys to carry against the Northern foe. [Pause.] No, no. Jack, of course I don’t look at you that way — I ROSALIND’S SURRENDER. 5 “W oiild you come over to the South for my sake, Jack 6 ROSALIND’S SURRENDER. couldn’t, when I lived right beside you up in Connecticut till I was twelve years old — but you’re different from the other Yankees. [Commences to seiv, showing by actions that she is embarrassed by observation. Lnthreads needle.] I wish you’d sit down! I never can do anything right when people are standing up staring at me. [Panse; emphatically.] Well, when our Southern men have some- thing to say, they — sa}^ it. [Pause; then, half-rising, agitated ex- pression.] No — no — Jack, don’t — I didn’t know you meant that — 1 didn’t think you cared for me — like that. [Impulsively, after slight pause.] Yes, yes, but I do like you — you know that — only — have you forgotten? There’s a great barrier between us. I am a South- ern girl, and you a Yankee officer. [Pause. Seriously.] Would you? Would you change to the other side for the sake of — of a girl you loved? [Pause. Very softly.] You say you care for me. Would you come over to the South for my sake. Jack? [Pause; then in different tone.] Of course not — and I wouldn’t have a bit of respect for you if you would. And don’t you suppose a woman cares just as much for her country’s good as a man for his? [Slight pause.] Oh, I know, I know — you think you are in the right, and if I’d have stayed up there I presume I should think so, too; but now Tm a Southern girl, with the Southern spirit [holds flag with gesture above her head] and this flag will never surrender to the North! You see, Jack — suddenly, face expressing humor- ous agitation.] Good gracious, who’s that? Auntie, I’ll be bound! [Holding up finger zvarningly.] S-sh-sh ! Yes, it is ; I hear her voice. [Impetuously.] Don’t stand there staring — ^^hide vourself — somewhere — anywhere — upstairs in the library — quick! [Short pause. Indignantly, speaking as if Jack zvcrc half-way up the stairs.] Oh, it’s all very well to say you’d rather stay and face it out. It would only mean five minutes for you, but I’d never hear the last of it. Hurry, do^ — shut the door — [Looks upzvard for a mo- ment, hands clasped; then turns around.] Whew! what a narrow escape. [With sudden recollection.] His cap — she’ll see it in the hall ! [Rushes across stage and out at door, back, returning with soldier's cap. Begins to climb stairs.] Here, Jack, Jack — [Turns suddenly, as at some sound, sits dozun on stairs, and hides cap be- ROSALIND’S SURRENDER. 7 “S-sh-sh! Yes, it is; I hear her voice.” 8 ROSALIND’S SURRENDER. hind her.] Wh-wh-why, Aunt, is that you? [Pause; humorous struggle for composure.] No, you didn’t startle me. Do I look— stiange? [Pause.] Well, I’m sorry you think the position isn’t be- coming. I never felt more captivating in my life. [Waves cap be- hind her. Aside.] Dear me, how’ll I get rid of it? [MAth exag- gerated interest.] Auntie, I hope you didn’t come back on account of my being here alone, did you ? I wouldn’t have had you do it for anything. [Serious interest.] No, I haven’t heard any news? What do you mean ? [Pause. Intense.] The Yankees have re- ceived maiching orders — are planning to leave the town — to-night? I don t believe it. He d have told me — I — I mean somebody would —"Marching orders to-night.” That means a battle, I suppose, if —if it’s true— and men are killed in battle. [Pause; then in differ- ent tone.] Yes, Aunt, our town will be free of them — oh, it’s glori- ous news, glorious — only it took me by surprise. Yes, of course we must show our colors when the Yankees march by— I’ll finish the flag— only— only you’ll have to go away. I must be alone when I sew fast ! [Pause.] No, no, no, I don’t want you to help me. [Pa;^- tomime of zvatching Aunt from room. Then turns tozvard stair- ' case.] Jack, Jack! She’s gone! [Stands at foot of staircase, zvith hands clasped. Intensely.] Did you hear her? And it’s true— you’re going away to-night? [Pause; attitude of despair.] This is our parting? [Pause. Subdued passion.] Oh, Jack, you ought to have told me. You oug'ht to have told me when you first came in. [Piteously.] There were so many things I might have said, and now— there isn’t time— [T/zar/ pause. Tremulous, but decided.] No, no, I can’t, dear, I can’t! I can’t promise to wait for you, I can t hope for your success, for you’re fighting against mv country, against the boys in gray, but — good-bye. Jack, and God bless vou ! [Pantomime of zvatching him depart; sits dozvn in chair by table for a niomenf or tzvo ; turns quickly, and begins sezving.] What is it. Aunt? I’m finishing the flag. Something to help me out? [Goes to door, returns zvith small packet in her hand.] Oh, yes; thank you. Aunt— yes. I’ll finish it— I’ll have it done. [Unzvraps the packet, and brings out a United States Hag, ragged as though torn by bullets and zvith a note pinned to the folds.] It’s a flag— a Union ROSALIND'S SURRENDER. 9 10 ROSALIND’S SURRENDER. flag- — the one my grandfather carried in 1812; and Aunt wants me to take the stars from that for this. [Touches Southern Hag. Then reads from note.] “ Jeffrey Hamilton, dying, bequeathes this flag as a precious legacy to his children and his children s children, for- ever. May they be faithful to it and to their country.” [Sits dozvn, flag m hand.] Jeffrey Hamilton was my grandfather — and my fa- ther, if he had lived, would have been fighting with the North to- day. [Impulsively.] Oh, I can’t tear that flag apart — I must find something else. [Sees scrap of blue on door.] Here, this will do. [Cuts square and begins to sezu it in dag, very rapidly.] ‘‘May they always be faithful to it, and to their country.” [Sighs. Calling.] Yes, Aunt, it’s almost done; Im putting in the last stitches. [Pause.] Coming — are they coming? [Listens.] Yes, I hear the drums. [Sound of drums may be introduced outside. Looks out of zvmdozv.] And there are girls waving Southern flags from al- most every window. The South — the South — and no one for the North. [Pause; turns impatiently , as if Aunt zvere talking to her in the same room.] Yes, I hear you. Aunt. I couldn’t help it, un- less L wars stone deaf ; but I don’t choose to agree with you, that’s all. [Pause.] No, I don’t consider them cowards. There are just as brave men among them as there are in our Southern army — I know it. [Pause.] Aunt, why can’t you be reasonable? They are fight- ing for what they believe is right, same as our boys in gray — and more than that, they’re fighting for the Union flag, the flag they love ; the flag your ancestors and mine fought and died for, a hun- died years ago. [Suddenly turns back from zvindozv, and crosses to table.] I know — I see them. Aunt — they’re passing the house — yes, yes, go on — go out on the balcony, if you like. I’ll do my part — I’ll wave the flag from this window, I promise you. [Watehes Aunt leave room, takes Confederate dag in hand; hesitates, stops, takes up Union dag. Half-zvhispers.] But which flag. [Repeats, half-uneonseiously.] “May they always be faithful to their country and their flag.” The stars and bars — the stars and stripes — [Sud- denly falls on knees.] Help me to choose — -which — which — [Pause for a second; then ''The Star-Spangled Banner,” supposed to be played by the Union troops marching past, is heard, Rosalind ROSALIND'S SURRENDER. II "The flag- your ancestors and mine fought and died for a hundred years ago.” OF ILL im ROSALIND’S SURRENDER. I 2 springs to feet.] My answer — the Star-Spangled Banner! [Runs to zvindozv and zvaves Union dag frantieally zvhile tune is playing.] I know which side is right now — Fm a Southerner no longer. Fm a Unionist — for the Stars and Stripes! [Sound dies azvay in dis- tanee. Rosalind turns to eJiair by table, sinks dozvn in it, and be- gins to ery.] They’re gone — and Jack doesn’t know — he’ll never know — that his flag and mine are one. [S^iddenly turns; expression of ainajeenient, of delight.] Jack! [Pazise.] Why, I — I thought you’d gone! [Pause.] Leave to come back — for a moment? Did you see me, Jack? [Pause.] Yes, it’s a Union flag, and it means — it means — [Wrapping dag in pieturesque attitude about her.] It means the South has surrendered to the North, Jack, and — I’ll wait for you forever ! [Ciirtain.] Thanksgiving Celebrations No* t*— ENTERTAINMENTS* A New Book containing Five Splendid Entertainments for Thanksgiving Day Celebrations, and for many other occasions. By STANLEY SCHELL. I. — Thanksgiving Entertainment. Contents. — i. Sons;, “God Bless our Native Land,” 2 Recitation, “Birth our Thanksgiving Day.” 3. Scripture Reading. Selections. 4. Essay, “TheStory the Pilgrims ” 5. Chorus, “ The Landing ot the Pilgrims.’ 6. Recitatioji, “'I Liitle I'llgrim ” 7. Recitation, “The Fir. t Thanksgiving Day.” 8. Fresiden Thanksgiving Proclamation. g. Chorus, “Heigh Ho! for Thanksgiving Da) 10 . Recitation, “ Thanksgiving Thdusophy” ti. Recitation, “The Pumpkir 12. Chorus, “ The Ihe Song” 13. Entertainment, “The Pumpkin Pie Makers (for several little girls and boys). 14. Chcrus, “The Thanksgiving Turkey 15. Recitation and Song, “ The Spellers,” ( 1 2 small folks). II. — Thanksgiving Program. Contents. — i. Chorus, “ Thanksgiving for Harvest ’’ ('suggested). 2. Dialog , from “ Bitter Sweet,” Joseph's Story, (2 girls, 2 boys, and several smaller childret 3. Recitation, “In Football Times.” 4. Drill, Dumb Bell Drill. 5. Readin^ ‘ Ichabod Crane at the Dinner Party at Heer Van Tassel’s.” 6. Pantomime, “ Ti Witch s Daughter.” III. — Thanksgiving : Past and Present. A fine Entertainment for 25 children. Introduces Pilgrims, Father Tim Brownies, etc, Full description of costumes, stage decorations, etc. IV. — The First Thanksgiving. Puritan Costume Monologue for a woman. Priscilla, while overseeing tl preparations for the first Thanksgiving Dinner, listens to Miles Standish's propos from the lips of John Alden, and urges John to “ speak for himself,” which he dot V. — The Harvest Home. An exceedingly fine Service of Song (20 pages of music) and Recitations f( Harvest F'estivals. Contents. — i. Chorus,^'‘ 0 \\ \ Bounteous God,” 2. Reading, “TheSeasons ” '},So, or Chorus. “ Lo ! The Winter is Past.” 4 Reading or Recitation, “An April Day 5. Chorus, “ See the Golden Hues of Springtime.” 6. Chorus, “Sing We No the Happy Story.” 7. Reading, Psalm civ. (suggested). 8. Reading, Parable ( the Sower (suggested). 9. Solo or Chorus, “Give Us Thy Grace.” 10. Readin or Recitation, “Flowers.” ir, (soprano and contralto), “Everywhere tb Fl>wers are Glowing.” 12. Reading or Recitation, “Autumn.” 13. Choru. “ Earth with Autumn’s Fruit.” 14. Read 'ng or Recitation, Anlnmn." Choru. “ The Grain is Ripe,” 16 Reading or Recitation. “The Reaper and the Flowers 17. Reading, The Parable of. the Tares (suggested). 18. Solo (soprano), “01 Grant, Eternal Lord.” ig. Reading, Psalm cxlvii. (suggested). 20. N<2/6> (soprano “W.iile the Earth Remaineth.” 21. Solo (contralto or bass), “Let Everythin That Hath Breath.” 22. Chorus. “Praise to the Holiest.” 55 Cents in Paper Binding. 60 Cents in Cloth Binding. Address the Publishers, EDGAR S. WERNER PUBLISHING & SUPPLY CO. (Incorporatec 43-45 EAST I9th STREET, NEW YORK. Hiawatha Entertainments. By STANLEY SCHELL. Longfellow’s beautiful Indian legend, “ Hiawatha,” was never so popular as at the present. There is scarcely a school in the land but what is making a study of Hiawatha and his times. In view thereof we have prepared a new book containing Splendid Malarial for Clubs, Schools, Colleges, Public or Private Entertainments, for Young or Old, for Little or Big Folks. What is in the Book: 1. Hiawatha : A Drama in Five Acts. The strongest “Hiawatha” drama ever produced. Introduces Drills, Dances, Songs, Tableaux and Pantomime. Suitable for any number of males and females, either small or large. As a whole, it will occupy an entire evening. Each of the acts is arranged so that it may be used as a separate entertainment, lasting from 15 to 25 minutes. 2 . Hiawatha : A Pantomimed Reading. Consists of (i) Introduction. (2) Hiawatha’s Childhood. Hiawatha, the Boy. (4) Hiawatha’s Wooing. (5) Hiawatha’s Wedding-feast. Requires a reader and any number of males and femrles. Songs and dances are introduced. Full directions for action are given. 3. Hiawatha Battling with his Father. A dramat'c scene for two males. 4. The F^amine : A Pantomime. For any number (from one to twelve) of males and females. 5. Hints on Costumes and Make-up For Hiawatha and other Indian Characters. 35 cents in paper binding. 60 cents in cloth binding. Address the Publishers, EDGAR S. WERNER PUBLISHING & SUPPLY CO. (Incorporated), 43-45 EAST 19th STREET, NEW YORK. THIRTY ELOCUTION LESSONS FOR $1.^5. EMMA DUNNING BANKS’S Original Recitations with Lesson-Talks, These Selections were Written Especially for Recitation, and afford Excellent Opportunities for Poses, Bird-Tones and other Vocal Effects. The pupil is not bothered with arbitrary rules, but is taught in few and plain words the essential points of the piece he is learning, so that every recitation with its lesson-talk is a most valuable lesson in eiocution. AUNT RHODY’S DREAM.— Yankee dialect story of an old woman who, having had a theological controversy with a deacon, dreams that she goes to heaven and finds that the various sects are simply doors that all open into the same heaven. Cos- tume piece. MONEY MUSK.— Poem by Bayard Taylor. Lesson-Talk by Mrs. Banks.— Humorous ac- count of a country dance, affording oppor- tunity for dance-steps. Music given. THE MOTHER’S EASTER SCARF.— Story of twins, one of whom loses his arm in sav- ing the other from a mad dog. Both after- ward fall in love with the same girl, when the one-armed one kills the other— at least he thinks so— but he wakes up to find it a dream, and yields the girl to his brother. A QUART OF MILK. — Dutch dialect story of a deaf old woman who hails a milkman, and he, mistaking her ear-trumpet for a milk-can, pours the milk in it. Humorous. 7AN BIBBER’S ROCK.— A man pursued by Indians jumps from a high rock into the water, and is rescued by his wife. ALINE’S LOVE SONG. — A courting scene, introducing singing ; music given. Co- quettish, and specially suitable for encores. PRINCE ERIC’S CHRIST-MAID.— Eric of- fers his hand to her who sends the fairest lilies on Easter Day. Knowing the skill of Lady Constance, he is sure of her success. A plot results in her supposed death, and she, covered with lilies, is about to be buried, but is restored to life. RUTHIE’S FAITH IN PRAYER.-A little girl buries her doll, and prays for another one and gets it. Suitable to be recited before children. grandma ROBBINS’S TEMPERANCE MSSION.— A stirring temperance recita- tion, introducing a prayer. Grandma Robbins is a host in herself, and the char- acter of Charlie appeals to every one. Pathetxc with a happy ending. Nicely printed and A SQUEEZE IN THE DARK.— Humorous Irish dialect. Impersonation of both male and female voices. Coquettish, merry, and sime to please. FLOSSIE LANE’S MARRIAGE.— Story of runaway lovers who, pursued by her father, get married on the train. THE SOLDIER’S JOY.-Recitation similar to “ Money Musk.” with music. Extremely popular ; introduces a girl first as a child, later as the woman who becomes instead of the soldier’s a husband’s joy. A LEGEND OF ROSE SUNDAY.— A pastor supposing his affianced to be dying in a distant place, is happily surprised on en- tering the church on Rose Sunday to find her there fully restored to health. FLiaNG JIM’S LAST LEAP.— A pursued criminal, who, in return for kindness she has shown him, rescues a little girl from a burning building and loses his life. BRIDGET’S MISSION JUG.— Irish dialect recitation, suited to missionary gatherings. DOT’S CHRISTMAS; OR THE SOBER H-AT. — A Christmas temperance selection. Fine opportunity for characterization, and suitable for church, parlor or stage. LAUREAME; the MARBLE DRE AM - A statue costume recitation on the style of “Pygmalion and Galatea,” introducing music ; dramatic. ONE THANKSGRHNG DAY OUT WEST.- Story of a young frontiersman, who, on returning home through the woods at night, is attacked by wolves. MEIN KATRINE’S BRUDDER HANS. — Humorous Dutch dialect. Very funny story and situations. Suitable for gentle- men. PRINCESS IMRA A^’D THE GOATHERD— Story of a prince, who, disguised as a goat herd, wins a princess. Has bell-tones. Teachers’s price $1,10 by bound, $1.25 postpaid. mail. Address Nicoly printed and bound.$1.25 postpaid. Teacher’s price, $1.10 by Mail Address the publishers, EDGAR S. WERNER PUBLISHING & SUPPLY CO., 43 & 45 East I9th Street, New York City. Incorporated, Elocution A Text -Book that meets the requirements of Twentieth Century- Elocution iS ^ ^ ^ ^ Action. By F, TOWNSEND SOUTHWICK* Used b\J /Vlan^ of the beading Schools of English^ Speaking America. Well printed and bound, 75 cents net. For class use, 60 cents, postpaid. Teachers of Reading and Elocution, Don’t handicap yourselves any longer with out-of-date text-books. We will allow you a liberal price for them in exchange for “ Elocution and Action. ^^ Begin the school year aright by adopting the best and most modern elocutionary text-book. Address the Publishers, Edgar S. Werner Publishing & Supply Co, (l N CORPORATE d\ 43 EAST J9th STREET, NEW YORK. Headquarter.^ for Supplies of all kinds for Teaching Reading, Elocution, Declamation, the Delsarte System, Physicjl Culture, Vocal Culture, and whatever else pertains to Expression as a Fine Art. Write us for information. Werners Readings and l^ecitMions, No. 25. The Twenty fifth Number of the best series of Recitation Books ever published. Full descriptive contents seat free on application. See below for special offer for the entire series. f What is in rslo. 25 : ; Classic.— I. His Majesty the King, 2. Well of St. Keyne. 3. Ember Picture. 4. Sensitive Plant, 5. Little Gavroche. : Dramatic.— I. Silly Billy. 2. Guenn. 3. Disallusionizing of Alexander Oldworthy. 4. Aunt : Deborah Hears “The Messiah.” 5. Spelling Match at Grande Pointe. 6. Provider. 7. How Norman Won the Race. 8. Wonderful Dog Story. 9. Jackanapes. 10. David and Goliath. II. Professor’s Ball Game. 12. Bill. 13. Building of the Barn. 14. Mt. Pisgah’s Christmas ’Possum. Hum»»r<>iis — i. Foreigners at the Fair. 2. Arkansas Farmer. 3. His Majesty the King. 4. Ir- repressible Boy. 5. Our New Servant. 6. Conjure Woman. 7. New Woman Considered. 8. Well of St. Keyne. 9. Disallusi mizing of Alexander Oldworthy. 10. Spelling Match at. Grande Pointe. ii. Queer Word. 12. Wonderful Dog Story. 13. Courtship of Mr. Bumble and Mrs. Corney. 14. Meeting of the Clabberhuses. 15. Professor’s Ball Game. 16. After the Wedding. 17. Partial Critic. 18. Good Measure. 19. Night Wind. 20. Mr. Barker’s Picture. 21. New Girl’s Logic. 22. Ethelinda’s Recitations 23. Little Gavroche. 24. Pards. 25. Weather Bureau. 20. “ Hangin’ On.” 27. Which General? 28. Mt. Pisgah's Christmas ’Possum. 29. Under-Prefect. Pathetic.— I. Silly Billy. 2. Tim’s Madonna. 3. Borrowed Child. 4. Lost Kiss. 5. Before the Tov ; Shop Window. 6. Provider. 7. Jackanapes. 8. Bill. 9. Pards. 10. Building of the Barn. Dialect.— I. Silly Billy (child), 2. Foreigners at the Fair (mixed). 3. Dead Pussy Cat (child), d. Arkansas Partner (Western). 5. Tim’s Madonna (street gamin). 6. His Majesty the King I (child). 7. Borrowed Child (child). 8. Conjure Woman (negro). 9. Before the Toy Shop t Window (country ). 10. Aunt Deborah Hears “ The Messiah ” (Yankee), ii. Spelling Match at f Grande Pointe (Creole). 12. Provider (Irish). 13. This Old Country (country). 14. “ Pa Never Does” (child). 15. Bill (Western). 16. Good Measure (negro). '17. Little Gavroche (street gamin and child). 18. Pards (street gamin). 19. “Rangin’ On” (negro). 20. Mt. Pisgah’s t Christmas’ Possum (negro). Children.-FOR Children : I. Which General? (boy). 2. Pards (boy). 3. “ Pa Never Does” (boy). 4. Tim’s Madonna (boy). 5. Dead Pussy Cat (girl). ABOUT Children : 6. Washington’s Kiss : (girl). 7. Little Highland Shepherdess (girl). 8. Weather Bureau (girl). 9. Little Gavroche (boy). 10. Ethelinda’s Recitations (girl), ii. Queer Word (baby girl). 12. Provider (boy). 13. Before the Toy Shop Window , (boy). 14. Lost Kiss (gi.'l). 15. Irrepressible Boy (boy). : 16. His Majesty the King (boy). 17. Silly Billy (boy and girl). ‘ ^ Sunday Selections.— i. Tim’s Madonna. 2. Jackanapes. 3. Long Felt Want. 4. David and ^ Goliath. 5. Night Wind. 6. St. Agnes’ Eve. 7. Pards. 8. Mt. Pisgah's Christmas 'Possum. ; 9. Effects of Intemperance. Ttible Selection. — David and Goliath. Temperance.— Effects of Intemperance. Costume citations.— i. Conjure Woman (negro boy or girl). 2. Aunt Deborah Hears “The Messiah” (.New England woman). 3. Before the Toy Shop Window (countryman), 4. This Old Country (countryman). 5. St. Agnes' Eve (pure white costume). Love Selections.— I. His Majesty the King. 2. Love’s Calendar. 3. Courtship of Mr. Bumble and Mrs. Corney. 4. Twilight. 5. “Hangin’ On.” 6. Union, A. Orations.— 1. Effects of Intemperance. 2. New South. Patriotic — i. This Old Country. 2. Which General ? 3. Washington’s Kiss. War. — Jackanapes. * Washington Day.— i. Which General ? 2. Washington’^ Kiss. 'Vaudeville. — i. Conjure Woman. 2. Mr. Barker’s Picture. 3. “ Hangin’ On.” Woman Suffrage.- r. New Woman Considered. 2. Meeting ot the Clabberhuses. 3. New Girl s Logic. Christmas Selections.— 1. Tim’s Madonna. 4. Mt. Pisgah's Christmas ’Possum. 5. Pards. 6. Aunt Deborah Hears “The Messiah.” Encores. — I. Dead Pussy Cat. 2. Irrepressible 'Boy. 3. Conjure Woman. 4. Too Old for Father’s Kisses, 5. Cricket 6. “Pa Never Does” 7. After the Wedding. 8. Partial Critic. 9. Good Measure. 10. Night Wind n. Weather Bureau. 12. “Hangin’ On.” 13. Which General ? Dialogue — New Woman Considered (eight boys and one girl). Arbor Day .—Sensitive Plant. French.— L’Ange Qui Veille. Racing Piece.— How Norman Won the Race (bicycle), I- 35 Cents in Paper Binding; 60 Cents in Cloth Binding. Address the Publishers ; ' EDGAR S. WERNER PUBLISHING AND SUPPLY CO. (Incorporated), 43-45 EAST NINETEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. X^SPEClAL OFFER (good for thirty days only).— We will send aii 25 numbers or 25 copies ot your 04W1 selecting, in paper binding, for $6.00, postpaid. Jennie O’Relll potter’s famous monologue A Monologue in Eight Tableaux illustrating the life of a modern Society Woman I Tableau 1 I The Nursery Queen Tableau 6 The Wife Tableau 2 The Vassar Girl Tableau 7 The Mother Tableau 3 The Bud Tableau 8 The Grandmother Tableau 4 The Belle PRICE, 50 CENTS New YorK Edgar S. Werner Publishing & Supply Co. (Inc.) -J- i c NEW YORK EDGARS. WERNER & CO. PUBLISHERS Copyright, 1903, by Edgar S. Werner — price 30 ROBERT H. HATCH’S RECITALS Price 40 Cents TKis is a collection of recitations tKat have made GREAT HITS With very few exceptions the pieces in this book cannot be fovind in any other recitation book, many of them having been written especially for Mr. Hatch. A FEW OF THE PIECES ARE; "LORIS IPANOFF’S STORY.” The most thrilling scene from Sardou’s famous play of “Fe- dora,” played by Fanny Davenport, Bernhardt, Duse. ** TIGER LILY’S RACE.” A most spirited horse-race scene from Mary H. Fiske’s play of ‘‘ Philip Herne,” played by Joseph Haworth. *‘T 0 -M 0 RR 0 W at ten.” a Newport idyl — a dainty, romantic monologue for a woman. An elaborate analysis is in IVerner’s Magazine, June, 1894. **IN A ROSE GARDEN.” By the Marquise Clara Lanza. A charming, romantic poem. A man recalls his first love and how he learned of her faithlessness. “THE SCULPTOR’S VISION.” By Mrs. John Sherwood. A fine poem showing that we reach our greatest possibilities by working not for ambition, but for love and gratitude. Most suitable for religious, as well as for other occasions. "SACKCLOTH AND ASHES.” By Henry Baldwin. An extremely slever society skit in prose. Full of humor and satire. "THE RIVALS.” By W. A. Eaton. A humorous poem of how, while two suitors are duelling, the girl marries another man, and appears with him to stop the duel. “HIS UNBIASED OPINION.” By Grace Livingston Furniss. Humorous duologue between a critic and an author. The critic, not knowing to whom he is talking, riddles the book mosi unmercifully. "THE NIGHT MAIL NORTH.” Intensely dramatic poem of a messenger’s ride to stay the execution of an innocent man. Sent postpaid on receipt of tKe price by the Publishers Edgar S. Werner & Company, 43 East Ipth Street, New \^ork CDc Cook. HUMOROUS MONOLOGUE IN IRISH DIALECT FOR A LALY* By Pauline Phelps. Copyright, 1899, by Edgar S. Werner. 1 1 I AM the cooh. An’ it’s not becomin’ in any of thim second- handed girls or second girls or housemaids to be a-dressin’ up in their silks an’ satins an’ pertindin’ they’re above me, for I’d not demane mesilf doin’ the kind of work they hev to, unless ’twas out of the kindness of me heart. Says Mr. de Smythe when he come down to the office to hire me, says he, a-puffin’ of himsilf out an’ talkin’ ’way down in his boots : “ Well, Bridget,” says he, what can ye do Says I: “I can cook! An’ if you’re wantin’ anybody to play the pianny an’ entertain your guests. I’ll say in the beginnin’ it ain’t the place I’m lookin’ fur.” Says he: “Mrs. Eeginald de Smythe wants a woman that thoroughly understands her position. ” Says I: “ Don’t let that worry ye a mite. I am the cook, an’ I understhand it, an’ if the other folks in the house don’t I’ll bang it into their heads, thrust Bridget O’Flannigan for that.” Says he: “ What wages do ye require ? ” Says I: “ Five dollars a week an’ board an’ three afthernoons an' Sundays out, an’ the use of the back sitting-room Sunday evenings to intertain me brothers, who might drop in to see me, an’ anybody as wants to pass through must cough before they open the door, to save the feelin’s of ns both.” An’ upon that he hired me, an’ I took my place with his fam’ly, which was only himsilf an’ wife ; an’ we got along without THE COOK. a wurrd, till one day the second girl comes to me with her face all drawn down an’ says she : ‘‘Oh, me stiddy, John Jonfes, has got an afthernoon o:ff an* he’s wantin’ me to go down to Coney Island with him to see the sights.” Says I : “Well, what are ye sni veilin’ over it fur ? ” Says she: “Because it ain’t my afthernoon off, an’ the mis* thress is expectin’ Mrs. de Lancy to call on her an’ I’ve got to sthay an’ open the door.” Says I: “ If that’s all; go along. Juist give me your cap an’ apron, an’ I’ll open the door mesilf.” Says she: “The missus won’t like it. ” Says I : “ / urn the cook ; an’ if I’ll so far demane me position as to open the door for yez, it ain’t fur the loikes of her to find fault.” An’ that afthernoon when Mrs. de Lancy called I ushered her in in me best stoile, makin’ a foine curtsey at the door, an’ says I : “ Here’s Mrs. de Lancy called to see ye, ma’am, an’ I know ye’ll be that tickled ye’ll be ready to jump out of yer skin ! ” An’ says she, makin’ a gesture fur me to git out of the way, which I didn’t pay no attintion to, not bein’ a lap-dog : “Dear Mrs. de Lancy, what a happiness ! ” But the minute she was gone she wint fur me. “ Wan more such ofiinse as this will deprive you of your posi- tion,” says she. “Your business is not to volunteer information or- to wait upon callers. What Mrs. de Lancy thinks of me establishment., hivin only knows.” “ Shure, ma’am,” says I, “ I wouldn’t have meddled with it if it hadn’t been that Mary wanted — ” “ There, that will do. Me palpitation is cornin’ on again. In THE COOK. fntnre, if the prisidint of the United Sthates wants ye to open the door, tell him ye’re the cook, an’ refuse.” “ Share, if that’s who ye’re expectin’,” says I, ‘‘ I am a Dim- mycrat^ an’ wouldn’t like no better opportunity than to sass him.” With that the conversation ended. An* that night I shut the cat up in the dinin’-room (which was next to the missus’ bedroom), for we’d been that pestered with mice I was goin’ to clear thim out, an’ wint to bed an’ had the most illegant drame of bein’ down to Coney Island with me stiddiest. We was a-waltzin* in the ballroom as foine as ye plaze, whin all of a sudden the bandmaster turned into a black alligator a-clutchin’ me by the shoulder. “Murder!” says I. “Wake up ! ” says he. An’ upon that I opened me eyes an’ there was the chambermaid a-shakin’ me. “ Come down-stairs, for hivin’s sake! ” says she. “ There’s burglars in the house, an’ the masther is out to the club, an* the misthress is near goin’ into hyster-i-strikes ! ” An’ whin I got down to her bed-room there was she an’ Mary an’ the second girl all up on chairs, an’ from the nixt door was cornin’ a most awful rumpus, things crashin’ an’ smashin’ — “ Oh,” says the misthress, a-runnin’ in the corner an’ pullin’ two chairs in front of her, “we’ll all be murdered in our beds, an’ thin Mr. de Smythe will be sorry he was too stingy to keep a butler. Haven’t any of yez got spirit to do somethin* to save as? Oh, Bridget, open the front door an’ yell for the perlice an’ I’ll raise yer wages ! Oh, darlirC Bridget — Says I: “ / am the cook^ an’ I'd not open that door fur the prisident of the United States.” Just thin there come a tremendous thump an* crash from the dinin’-room, an’ they all squealed together like hivin possessed, 0 OF ILL LIB. 4 THE COOK. an’ upon that there was a noise at the front door, an’ someone yelled : “ What’s the matter in here ? Let me in, I say.” “ They’re his conthrahands ! ” yells the misthress. “ Fire !” yells Mary. Perlice! ” yells the second girl. “ Stop that! Open the door, I say If ye don’t open it I’ll break it in. An’ with that the latch gave way, an’ two perlicemen, with their clubs, rushed into the room. “Me preservers,” says the misthress, “they’re stalin’ the silver.” “ Where?” says they. “ In there,” says she. “ Keep your club ready. Bill, to knock ’em if they try to rush. Now thin, come out here, ye thievin’ blackguards!” An’ wit thath he opened the door a crack, an’ out jumped — “ Hivins! ” says the misthress, “ it’s the cat! ” Says I: “ An’ what else did ye think it was ? " “I believe ye knew it all the time,” says she. “ I did,” says I. “ I’ve a good notion to arrest ye, ye spalpeen,” says she. “Oh, here’s me palpitation cornin’ on again, an’ me hair up in curl papers Oh, why didn’t you tell me, ye cruel, ungrateful — ” Says I: “ / am the cooJc^ an I was attindin’ to me own estah- lishmenty an’ if ye don’t have a special woman to be openin’ doors for yez, it ain’t no place for me. I bid ye good day, ma’am.” An’ I wiht up-stairs an’ packed up, an’ hain’t niver been there since. An’ now I’ve a situation in a hotel with sixteen chambermaids, 3,n’ I am the cooh an’ run the place. WERNER'S READINGS AND RECITATIONS NO. 25 The Twenty- fifth Number of the best series of Recitation Books ever published. Full list of contents sent free on application. What is in No. 25: Classic. —I. His Majesty the vv cu oi ssi. Keyne. 3. Ember Picture. 4- Sensitive Plant. 5. Little Gavroche. Dramatic. — i. Silly Billy. 2. Guenn. 3. Disallusionizing of Alexander Oldworthy. 4. Aunt Deborah Hears “The Messiah.” 5. Spelling Match at Grande Pointe. 6. Provider. 7. How Norman Won ^e Race. 8. Wonderful Dog Story, q. Jackanapes. 10. David and Goliath. II. Professor’s call Game. 12. Bill. 13. Building of the Barn. 14. Mt. Pisgah’s Christmas ’Possum. Humorous.— I. Foreigners at the Fair. 2. Arkansas Farmer. 3. His Majesty the King. 4. Ir- repressible Boy. 5. Our New Servant. 6. Conjure Woman. 7. New Woman Considered. 8. Well of St. Keyne. q. L'isallusi mixing of Alexander Oldworthy. 10. Spelling Match at Grande Pointe. ii. Queer Word. 12. Wonderful Dog Story. 13. Courtship of Mr. Bumble And Mrs. Corney. 14? Meeting of the Clabberhuses. is- Professor’s Ball Game. 16. After the Wedding. 17. Partial Critic. 18. Good Measure. 19. Night Wind. 20. Mr. Barker’s Picture. 21. New Girl’s Logic. 22. Ethelin ia’s Recitations 23. Little Gavroche. 24. Pards 25. Weather Bureau. 20. “Hangin’ On.” 27. Which General? 28. Mt. Pisgah's Christmas ’Possum. 29. Under-Prefect. Pathetic.— I. Silly Billy. 2. Tim’s Madonna. 3. Borrowed Child. 4. Lost Kiss. 5. Before the Toy Shop Window. 6. Provider. 7. Jackanapes. 8. Bill. 9. Pards. 10. Building of the Barn. Dialect. — i. Silly Billy (child). 2. Foreigners at the Fair (mixed). 3. Dead Pussy Cat (child). A. Arkansas Farmer ( Western). 5. Tim’s Madonna (street gamin). 6. His Majesty the King (child). 7. Borrowed Child (child). 8. Conjure Woman (negr^). 9. Before the Toy Shop Window (country ). 10. Aunt Deborah Hears “ The Messiah ” (Yankee), ii. Spelling Match at Grande Pointe (Creole). 12. Provider (Irish). 13. This Old Country (country). 14. “ Pa Never Does” (child). 15. Bill (Western). 16. Good Measure (negro). 17. Little Gavroche (street gamin and child). 18. Pards (street gamin). 19. “Hangin’ On” (negro). 2c. Mt. Pisgah’s Christmas’ Possum (negro). Children.— For Children : i. Which Cleneral? (boy). 2. Pards (boy). 3. “ Pa Never Does” (bov). 4. Tim’s Madonna (boy). Dead Pussy Cat (girl). About Children : 6. Washington’s Kiss (girl). 7. Little Highland Shepherdess (girl). 8. Weather Bureau (girl), g. Little Gavroche (boy). 10. Ethelinda’s Recitations (girl), ii. Queer Word (baby girl). 12. Provider (boy). 13. Before the Toy Shop Window (boy). 14. Lost Kiss (gi.l). 15. irrepressible Boy (boy). 16. His Majesty the King (boy). 17. Silly Billy (boy and girl). .Sunday Selections — i. Tim’s Madonna. 2. Jackanapes. 3. Long Felt Want. 4. David and Goliath. 5. Night Wind. 6. St. Agnes’ Eve. 7. Pards. 8. Mt. Pisgah’s Christmas ’Possum. 9. Effects of Intemperance. ■**ible Selection. — David and Goliath. Temperance — Effects of Intemperance. Costume Recitations. — i. Conjure Woman (negro boy or girl). 2. Aunt Deborah Hears “ The Messiah” tNew England woman). 3. Before the Toy Shop Window (countryman). 4. This Old Country (countryman). 5. St. Agnes’ Eve (pure white costume). liOve Sele'etions.— I. His Majesty the King. 2. Love's Calendar. 3. Courtship of Mr. Bumble and Mrs. Corney. 4. Twilight. 5. “Hangin’ On.” 6. Union, A. Orations.— I. Effects of Intemperance. 2. New South. Patriotic.— I. This Old Country. 2. Which General ? 3. Washington’s Kiss. War. — Jackanape.'i Washington Day. — i. Which General ? 2. Washington's. Kiss. Vaudeville. — i. Conjure Woman. 2. Mr Barker’s Picture. 3. “ Hangin’ On.” Woman Suffrage.- 1. New Woman Considered. 2. Meeting ot the Clabberhuses. 3. New Girl s Logic. Christmas Selections.— i, Tim’s Madonna. 4. Mt. Pisgah’s Christmas ’Possum. 5. Pards 6. Aunt Deborah Hears “The Messiah.” Encores. — 1. Dead Pussy Cat. 2. Irrepressible Boy. 3. Conjure Woman. 4. Too C)ld for Father’s Kisses. 5. Cricket 6. “Pa Never (Does” 7. After the Wedding. 8. Partial Critic, g. Good Measure. 10. Night Wind u. Weather Bureau. 12. “Hangin’ On” 13. Which General ? Dialogue.— New Woman Considered (eight boys and one girl). Arbor Dav — Sensitive Plant. French. — L’Ange Qui Veille. Racing Piece.— How Norman Won the Race (bicycle). 50 Cents in Paper Binding; 80 Cents in Cloth Binding. SIXTEEN PLAYS, each play having two characters, bound IN ONE VOLUME, 50c. in paper, 80c, . in cloth binding, postpaid. :: :: :: THESE PLAYS ARE: •BACKWARD CHILD.” 2 f . “BOX OF POWDERS.” i m., i f. “ BREAKING THE ICE.” i m., if. “CONFEDERATES.” i m., i f. ‘CRYSTAL- GAZER.” 2 f . “FAST FRIENDS.” 2 f. “HAPPY ENDING.” 2 f. “ HE, SHE, AND IT.” I m., i f. ‘HUSBAND IN CLOVER.” i m., if. “MORNING CALL.” i m., i f. “NETTLE, THE.” i m., i f. “PAIR OF LUNATICS.” ‘SHOW OF HANDS.” i m., if. “THOSE LANDLADIES.” 2 f . “TWO TOLLY GIRL BACHELORS.” 2 f. “VILLAIN AND VICTIM.” i m., i f. ANY OF THESE PLAYS SENT IN SEPARATE FORfl FOR 15 CENTS, POSTPAID I f. All of these plays are printed in large clear type, from new plates, with text and stage business edited and revised expressly for us by PAULINE PHELPS and MARION SHORT, Authors of David Belasco s New York success, Grand Army Man." :: :: :: ADDRESS THE PUBLISHERS EDGAR S. WERNER & COMPANY NEW YORK