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 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP
 
 All that is good in human nature 
 we are taught by our friends; every- 
 thing the world esteems comes to us 
 through our friends; whatever is 
 worthy in man or woman is due to 
 our friends. 
 
 As it is our friends who have taught 
 us what we know of a Heaven here- 
 after, so it is they who hold in their 
 hands all that makes this earth a 
 Heaven, since love alone unites 
 Heaven and earth. 
 
 And, though love without friend- 
 ship is a futile creature, its wings 
 spread for flight, there can be no 
 friendship without love.
 
 THE WEALTH 
 OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Compiled by 
 
 Wallace and Frances Rice 
 
 With a Homily on Friendship 
 by the 
 
 Rev. F. W. Gunsaulus, D. D. 
 
 Chicago 
 
 Brewer, Barse & Company 
 MCMIX
 
 Copyright 1909 
 
 By 
 
 BREWER, BARSE & CO.
 
 
 To All Friendly Folk 
 Who Know the Value of 
 a Smile That Their 
 Number May Increase
 
 FRIENDSHIP AND RELIGION
 
 FRIENDSHIP AND RELIGION
 
 FRIENDSHIP AND RELIGION 
 
 FRIENDSHIP is a religion between two 
 human souls; the truest religion is a 
 friendship between the human and the di- 
 vine. Revelations of the divinity in human- 
 ity occur when God is the great personal 
 friend of man. These higher discoveries oc- 
 cur according to the same law that operates 
 as between human beings in a spiritual 
 friendship when each makes a revelation 
 not only to each, but of each and within 
 each other. There is no such challenge, at 
 once awakening and commanding to all 
 that is chivalric, sweet and strong, as is of- 
 fered by a true friend approaching the soul 
 of a man through these ministries. It is im- 
 possible to keep the forces of friendship out 
 of the realm of religion. Whenever any fine 
 soul touches the subject, he forces his 
 thought of it into the region of ethics, ador- 
 ation, worship. 
 
 It is only the greatest literature that 
 sounds truly the keynote of friendship. 
 Antony may have over-estimated Caesar, 
 but Shakespeare, greater than either of 
 them, was too fine a dramatist to withhold 
 from the tongue of Antony greater words 
 concerning him than the Caesar of history 
 will bear. And so one of the profoundest 
 utterances ever made concerning man, or 
 about friendship, was that which the silvery 
 speech of Antony bore, when standing near 
 
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 FRIENDSHIP AND RELIGION 
 
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 Caesar's corse, his voice faltered with his 
 feelings, as he said: 
 
 He was my friend, faithful and just to me. 
 
 So also when our American poet of the 
 abstract utters something of what he knows 
 of this relationship of souls, he simply puts 
 into the language of the ideal what Shakes- 
 peare made real in the eloquence of Mark 
 Antony : 
 
 Oh, friend, my bosom said, 
 
 Through Thee alone the sky is arched. 
 
 Though Thee the rose is red; 
 
 All things through Thee take nobler form, 
 
 And look beyond the earth; 
 
 The mill-round of our fate appears 
 
 A sun-path in Thy worth. 
 
 Me, too, Thy nobleness hath taught 
 
 To master my despair. 
 
 The fountains of my hidden life 
 
 Are through Thy friendship fair. 
 
 All such words, taken like these — one 
 from the real, the other from the ideal — will 
 illustrate the fact that friendship worthy 
 the name is founded on truth. If, as 
 one poet sings, a friendship be streaked 
 with colors of the ideal, it must be a true 
 ideal, lest the friendship become a beautiful 
 dream, which, however, ends in nightmare. 
 Such an ideal there must be, else friendship 
 can not be true. For with all the roots that 
 every friendship has in the real world, and 
 with all the demands which every friend- 
 ship makes on the soil of practical life in
 
 FRIENDSHIP AND RELIGION 
 
 ii 
 
 which it is rooted, it is a sad lie if some- 
 where it blooms not. 
 
 How can it blossom without a true ideal? 
 
 So the simplest beginning of a human 
 friendship begins in the ground of service, 
 one soul to another, and it operates like a 
 germinating seed on the faith that there is 
 atmosphere, and a sun, and a sky above the 
 ground in which it shall bloom. In friend- 
 ship, as in all the life of man, the practical 
 seems to suppose the ideal, as everywhere 
 the finite hints the infinite and the human 
 yearns for the divine. He who shuts off 
 the infinite sky from above me is most un- 
 true to me. It is as fatal to my true life, as 
 though he had taken away the finite world 
 from under me. 
 
 Friendship, like life, must have the prac- 
 tical and real for its rootage, the poetic 
 and ideal for its fruitage. 
 
 All friendship, like all life, has its growth 
 between these realms. It spreads its arms 
 and shoots forth its leaves in that air which 
 is the interflow of what is and what 
 ought to be — the real and the ideal. 
 It cannot separate itself from either. If my 
 supposed friend imagines that he can cut 
 loose from the world and human life as it 
 is, and befriend me by dwelling altogether 
 in what ought to be, he deceives him- 
 self, and I find him to be but the ghost of a 
 
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 friend. Absolute truthfulness to the fact 
 that as matters really are, I have a body 
 and its needs, temptations and desires that 
 fasten themselves on the earth; that, being 
 on the earth, I must have to do with citizen- 
 ship, politics, trade, marriage, home, and 
 the reform of this world — this is the somber 
 fact that marks the place where our friend- 
 ship must root itself. 
 
 On the other hand, absolute truthfulness 
 to the fact that as matters ideally ought 
 to be, I am a soul able to climb up to God; 
 full of potencies which it will take an 
 eternity to unfold; that, being heaven-des- 
 tined, I have to do with beauty, divinity, 
 ideality, and the atmosphere of pure spirit, 
 — this is the luminous fact that marks the 
 place where our friendship must pierce the 
 soil of the limited and bounded, thence to 
 rise unto its own fruitage in the limitless 
 and the free. I grant that this latter realm 
 must be the circumambient air in which th® 
 solid and prosaic earth, on which our friend- 
 ship roots itself, must roll. The ought 
 to be must always be the boundless at- 
 mosphere of what is; and he who is thus 
 true — to fasten with his thought my 
 thought, to unite with his feeling my feel- 
 ing, to join with his will my will, unto these 
 realms, the real and the ideal, is my friend. 
 
 To him I say : Hail, for thou art the true
 
 FRIENDSHIP AND RELIGION 
 
 *3 
 
 prophet of my nature, the priest of my soul, 
 the king of my being! So far as man can 
 be, thou art both atonement and salvation! 
 
 Tennyson speaks of Arthur Henry Hal- 
 lam as 
 
 That friend of mine, who lives in God. 
 
 It requires the divine spaces for the habi- 
 tation of such a friend. Hallam challenged 
 the genius of Tennyson and "In Memor- 
 iam" was the fine effort of Tennyson's na- 
 ture to reply as was the "Lycidas" of 
 Milton or the "Adonais" of Shelley to the 
 influence of Edward King or John Keats. 
 The greatest soul history has known in the 
 early annals of the old religion, Abraham, 
 was called "the friend of God"; and when 
 the new religion came in Christ, earth saw 
 its most evidently divine genius seeking 
 friends and wooing forth the friend in and 
 from what had been the servant. Jesus 
 said: "Henceforth I call you no more ser- 
 vants, but I have called you friends." 
 
 A luminous soul illuminates. A fine 
 spirit refines what it touches; and so with 
 divine meanings; the divine mind dignifies 
 relationships, facts and occurrences. When 
 the thought of Jesus fell upon the position 
 of His disciples, as related to Him, He so 
 used the words servant and service, 
 as to show that He found mightier mean- 
 ings in them because they involved devotion 
 
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 to divine manhood, and loyalty to the human 
 manifestation of God. It was in response 
 to the law which I have suggested, that 
 their service should mean more to Him be- 
 cause He was modestly conscious of the 
 fact that upon it there fell from the sublime 
 heights of His character something of His 
 own divine light, to ennoble and enrich it. 
 Of such a generous and missionary qual- 
 ity was the divinity of Jesus that in this 
 case, as in others, it melted down all the 
 walls which separated Him from them. 
 Henceforth there was no longer any cour- 
 tesies needed as between the human and 
 the divine. He had won these men unto 
 Himself; and He, from the beginning, had 
 been one with God. It was not so much 
 that He had come down to them; they had 
 come up to Him. It was not more His con- 
 descension than their exaltation. And in 
 this interflow of earth and heaven — in this 
 new alliance of finite and infinite, Jesus pro- 
 posed the sweet word of His now familiar 
 grace, and it fell into their souls as a dear 
 oracle, too amazing to be altogether human 
 and too ennobling to be anything save 
 divine: "Henceforth I call you no more 
 servants." He seems to say, "Ye have been 
 exalted out of service — noble as it is. To 
 my own heart I have called you friends.
 
 FRIENDSHIP AND RELIGION 
 
 *5 
 
 What I have said to my own soul, I now 
 say to you ; I call you friends." 
 
 Just as we see a hyacinth filling the air 
 with fragrance from above with its homely 
 bulb below, so looking through the eyes of 
 Jesus, we see that the beginnings of friend- 
 ship lie deep down in service. Jesus 
 here discloses the homely root from which 
 that divine relationship sprung. While 
 this is the first and most obvious lesson, 
 we may safely stand upon the proposition 
 that friendship is glorified service ; that from 
 this point of view we may learn of the 
 friendship of Jesus. 
 
 I do not offer this statement as a defini- 
 tion, yet it was one of the beautiful forms 
 which the thought took in the mind of 
 Jesus. In His thought, friendship was serv- 
 ice glorified by love. The definition would 
 not define, because love, the glorifier, 
 is undefined, and, so far as I know, inde- 
 finable. But, defined or undefined, this 
 episode offers us a glimpse of devoted serv- 
 ice, as it grows steadily more and more 
 easy and noble, until, unconsciously, it takes 
 on not only the colors of the one who is serv- 
 ing, but gains something of the radiance of 
 Him who is served. The coloring is called 
 out of the server, and it may be, by the light 
 of Him who is served. That calling and 
 the response — that mutual experience, is a 
 
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 flash of love. As it is always the loftier 
 nature of a friendship which discovers it, — 
 so it was Jesus, who, with divine candor, 
 announced the fact that love had so glori- 
 fied their mutual service that He had called 
 them His friends. 
 
 It is this unfailing justice exercised by 
 friendship toward the object of its regard 
 that most completely characterizes the in- 
 fluence of every master in the realm of relig- 
 ion. To revert again to Shakespeare, we 
 hear the eloquent Roman say of Caesar: 
 
 He was my friend, faithful and just to 
 me. But Caesar was not great enough to 
 be the ideal friend. The ideal friend is 
 faithful and just to the highest in me. No 
 brilliant campaigns so employ the mind of 
 such an one that he forgets the eternal possi- 
 bilities of his Antony — that wonderful be- 
 fore of every human life which shone in 
 his face — that problematic afterward 
 which makes the unraised curtains in the 
 West of every soul so significant, and that 
 fathomless here and now in which they 
 find themselves lively participants at 
 Rome. If he gave a renewed and true 
 meaning to these, as he met Antony, he was 
 his friend. That, however, the great Caesar 
 could not furnish. He once had Rome at 
 his command, but to the infinite, so hidden 
 in the real, he had not so much as a tax-
 
 FRIENDSHIP AND RELIGION 
 
 17 
 
 title. He could have gathered legions to 
 protect Antony, but the monarch of Rome 
 was powerless to raise his finger and point 
 out the realms of the ideal. When men in 
 Rome were saying to each other: 
 
 He doth bestride the narrow world 
 Like a mighty Colossus; and we petty men 
 Walk under his huge legs, and peep about 
 To find ourselves dishonorable graves, — 
 
 if there had been no Brutus to love Rome, 
 Caesar could not arm a single guard with 
 duty, or put upon himself the toga of man- 
 hood. Antony's word is but a proclama- 
 tion of how all human friendship waits for 
 something, until the last, and then tries in 
 vain to dream of its possession in its adored. 
 As it was then, so it is now. And as when 
 Caesar could furnish nothing for a friend 
 like Antony, but the "fable" of the ideal 
 friend, Jesus came to so befriend man by 
 service, that man should be won to serve. 
 So Jesus said to His followers: "Hence- 
 forth I call you no more servants, but I 
 have called you friends." 
 
 It was the simple truth which He had to 
 speak. He was not telling them about His 
 condescension, for He always believed that 
 it was His glorification, that through Him 
 man was glorified. It was not to speak to 
 them in sentimental innuendoes, for He 
 knew that it needed not that He should 
 
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 announce His friendship unto them. A 
 friendship that has to declare itself is half 
 profane and insincere. It was their matter 
 to recognize the Divine friend. If they had 
 not found it out, they would not discover it 
 in any words that could be spoken. The 
 matter was really very different from that. 
 The fact was that He had been their friend. 
 He had let fall upon their souls the radiance 
 of His own nature, until from their souls 
 there began to come flashes of a like glory. 
 He had so served them that they had begun 
 to serve Him. Thus far it was only service. 
 They were only servants, as, indeed, He 
 began His friendship unto them in service. 
 It had now gone a step farther. His love of 
 serving them had waked up and called forth 
 their love of serving Him. 
 
 Now came the moment when homely serv- 
 ice was glorified by love into friendship. 
 The Divine Man opened His lips, and as it 
 is the loftier one of the friendship who first 
 sees its beautiful colors, so Jesus spoke. He 
 would not allow the towering sublimities of 
 His own nature to weigh down their admi- 
 ration; He would not suffer the majesty of 
 His intellectual and moral transcendence to 
 make heavy the loving devotion of those 
 men; He would take His stand on the fact 
 of a common interior life, and there say:
 
 FRIENDSHIP AND RELIGION 
 
 19 
 
 "Henceforth I call you no more servants, 
 but I have called you friends." 
 
 The great friend is not only just, but 
 faithful to me, as well. The comrade 
 of my heart, whom I meet daily, has not 
 done all, when, by his justice, I am dis- 
 suaded from being unjust: the rest of his 
 duty is to persuade me to be just. Shakes- 
 peare would call such an one not only just, 
 but "faithful" to me. My friend has only 
 done the first half of his work, when he has 
 taken my old world from under me ; he must 
 give me a new world, and over it must be 
 sprung a fresh sky. It must be more than 
 that — it must be such a world as shall give 
 me rootage, and its sky and soil must give 
 me growth and fruitage ; it must be a world 
 with a sky fit for the career of a soul pant- 
 ing and throbbing with the endless life. 
 My friend's justice may kill off my half- 
 heartedness, but his faithfulness ought to 
 produce a resurrection of sincerity out of 
 its grave. What is a sunstroke to laziness, 
 ought to be life to industry; and his faith- 
 fulness must so match his justice that he 
 shall wake the germs of justice in me, until 
 they grow toward that larger justice in him. 
 
 He shall then ask me to drink of the 
 immortalities which he has pressed into the 
 wine of a new life. Our feasting shall be 
 conducted as though it were only courtesy 
 
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 unto each other to act upon the idea that we 
 expected to live forever, and that the wine of 
 every real feast shall be that pressed from 
 the grapes in some Garden of Gethsemane, 
 by the sorrows of Jesus. The etiquette of 
 my true friend is the natural simplicity of 
 a soul whose nostrils dilate with the breath 
 of God. His words are simple; it may be 
 that he knows no language well, has heard 
 no symphonies, can understand no meta- 
 physics of this age, has no philosophy by 
 name; but what of that? 
 
 I want him to be mine because I find him 
 rooted to the reality which underlies all 
 ages; because he has heard the music of 
 a noble life ; because he has a practical phil- 
 osophy of living; because he can befriend 
 and be befriended. He is faithful to the 
 best that he feels, and to the best that I feel ; 
 and that common path which he makes 
 from heart to heart is the road over which 
 friendship carries its devotions, and bears 
 its burdens. Because every human being 
 must be himself or herself, every friend can 
 carry over this common thoroughfare new 
 phases of the world unto his friend. Be- 
 cause each, if true, is conscious that an im- 
 mortal sky is over him, each thing done 
 has an infinite quality, and each has the 
 glad suspicion that the other deals in im- 
 mortalities. And that, after all, is the
 
 FRIENDSHIP AND RELIGION 
 
 21 
 
 only way that people can become interest- 
 ing to each other. 
 
 In such a friendship, when I am sick and 
 my friend brings, in his small basket, my 
 dinner, I value the immortal idea that he 
 brought with him, and that never-dying 
 thought which worked him up to it, more 
 than I do the dinner; and he is glad that, 
 through the perishable, which he had in 
 his basket, I see the imperishable, which 
 he had in his soul. So this simple act of 
 friendship fastens both of us to things eter- 
 nal, and thus it is that souls are bound to 
 man and God in friendship, along whose 
 path the ideal life often travels. 
 
 Every friend is, therefore, a priest. He 
 enters into the holy of holies of his friend, 
 and opens anew the mystery of life. He 
 gives his friend additional reasons for exist- 
 ing, as through him the world looks fresh 
 and beautiful. 
 
 The question of the future of Christianity 
 is the question as to the place of Jesus. As 
 man's friend on the lines of his progressive 
 destiny, man will always seek for a great 
 friend as the object of his religion. The 
 most serious question is this: Is there in 
 Jesus the perennial satisfaction for the spir- 
 itual want that will be incessant and great 
 as man advances? It is fitting that now 
 man should attend to what he may know of 
 
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 the demands he shall make upon his leader 
 and friend, as the future waits for his eager 
 feet. It needs no discussion to satisfy the 
 race that the flights which the mind of man 
 has yet made are but as those winged voy- 
 ages which birds take, always to come back 
 to earth and perch upon some leafy branch, 
 or rest upon some mountain crag, or stop 
 over some loved nest. Every flight, how- 
 ever, helps the soul to appreciate the dawn- 
 ing fact that man's wings, and the mental 
 air which surrounds this planet of his 
 thoughts, indicate a flight to be begun soon, 
 which shall never wheel backward to this 
 dear world from which he practiced, but 
 which shall extend beyond death and time. 
 Is it strange that as man finds this out, he 
 should feel anxious for a safe companion 
 in this mighty trip? As he loks out upon the 
 route, and into his own soul at its believed 
 yearnings, he finds that his guiding and in- 
 spiring friend must answer to these desires 
 for rest of heart in the Absolute ; these 
 aspiration for harmony of thought with the 
 Infinite Soul of all ; these fluttering waitings 
 of the will for freedom in the Will of the 
 universe. All great literature is the story 
 of these and their heavy demand upon the 
 leader and friend of immortal man. Hence, 
 I do not call it irreverence, but piety unto 
 the interests involved, that, in this age, man
 
 FRIENDSHIP AND RELIGION 
 
 2 3 
 
 should look to Him who first told him of 
 his destined trip God-ward, and wonder in 
 secret, and in the public musings of science 
 and philosophy, if, when the intellect has 
 flown far beyond its present confines, in the 
 future life of man here or elsewhere, it shall 
 not have to stop where there is no resting 
 place, where flight back to earth is impos- 
 sible; where flight beyond is unknown; 
 where this Christ, who inspired it to use its 
 wings, becomes a stranger also to the un- 
 discovered and unknown. Can this friend 
 to the intellect of man continue until man 
 is at one with God? 
 
 I am convinced that this question, which 
 shall be recurrent in every era, is answered 
 in the unique and transcendant nature of 
 Jesus as a friend. 
 
 Everything that Jesus did — because of 
 everything which Jesus was — has a reach 
 of power and a date in eternity fixed only by 
 the immortality of man, and the being of the 
 everlasting God. While He lived in the 
 midst of the finite His conversation showed 
 that His soul was at home with the infinite. 
 You have to suppose an infinity to under- 
 stand His simplest statement, and because 
 He was while here familiar with the infini- 
 ties which man seeks, and on such terms of 
 fellowship with the Absolute as to name it 
 "Father," and say: "I and the Father are 
 
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 one," His friendship unto man, as an ele- 
 ment of the at-one-ment, will, therefore, last 
 forever, because sin-stained man requires a 
 forever in which to be at-oned to the Holy 
 God. Whatever Jesus is to man here below, 
 it can only be the beginning of that at-one- 
 ment which He will accomplish as the un- 
 numbered ages roll away. Until man's 
 nature, which now has an unconquerable 
 tendency toward God-likeness, comes to be 
 Godlike, he will stand in need of such a 
 friend. 
 
 His starward path has its beginning in 
 what Jesus was as a friend on earth and its 
 ending in what Jesus is in the Being of 
 God. That is the span of the at-one-ing 
 bridge. Unto the remotest moment, so long 
 as the intellect of man has found itself less 
 than able to grasp infinite problems, will it 
 beat its tireless wings in the air of the balmy 
 eternity. Shall it ever fail to find the famil- 
 iar friend who lured it first to try flying in 
 the infinity? 
 
 I look into the intellect of Jesus and bring 
 back the news: never! 
 
 Unto the last, so long as the feelings of 
 man discover their inability to thrill with 
 the joy of God, they will rise unto new 
 eyries and sweep in new circles in the ever- 
 brightening day. Shall they ever rise so 
 high in the lapse of aeons that this dear
 
 FRIENDSHIP AND RELIGION 
 
 2 5 
 
 friend who first tempted them to rise upon 
 their wings shall no more invite them on? 
 
 Until the last, last hour, so long as man's 
 will is not traveling the same infinite paths 
 in which God moves, so long as the human 
 volition moves not to bear immortalities as 
 naturally as the Diety bears a universe, it 
 will pierce new skies and rise over new 
 galaxies in that perpetual dawn. 
 
 I look into the will of Jesus, and the hu- 
 man God says with a meaning that broke the 
 grasp of death and put out the fires of hell : 
 never ! I will never forsake you. "If it were 
 not so, I would have told you." 
 
 When the Christ thus brings man home, 
 and the child humanity finds his intellect 
 and feelings and will thus unembarrassed 
 with the infinities and unaffrighted with the 
 eternity, the at-one-ment will be complete. 
 Other beautiful dreams may be found 
 lodged in the driftwood of the world. Him 
 as a friend, shall we always call our own; 
 yet we shall know that if we could have all 
 of Him, He could not be so truly ours. 
 Blessed dream ! always will it be being real- 
 ized, yet evermore shall it last, because we 
 are finite and He is infinite. 
 
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 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 29 
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 Contents 
 
 CHAPTER PAGE 
 
 I Friendship's Essentials 31 
 
 II The Stepping Stones 47 
 
 III The Stumbling Blocks 59 
 
 IV On Eeing a Friend 69 
 
 V On Being Befriended 85 
 
 VI The Advice of Friends 95 
 
 VII Our Friends the Enemy 103 
 
 VIII Friends and Enemies 107 
 
 IX Men and Women Friends 113 
 
 X Friendships of Women 119 
 
 XI Friends and Relations 127 
 
 XII Friendships that Fail 133 
 
 XIII In Praise of Friends 141 
 
 XIV Benefits of Friendship 159 
 
 XV Old Friends Are Best 169 
 
 XVI FrLnds that Are Gone 181 
 
 XVII The Great Friendships 195
 
 FRIENDSHIP'S ESSENTIALS
 
 FRIENDSHIP'S ESSENTIALS 
 
 33 
 
 A friend, says that court of last appeal, 
 the dictionary, is "One joined to another in 
 mutual benevolence and intimacy." It is 
 noteworthy that the sentiment is so fine a 
 one that even the prose of the dictionary 
 itself takes on an aspect of poetry. The 
 word has been in English from the begin- 
 ning of the language, and has been written 
 for more than a thousand years — the 
 Venerable Bede and the singer of Beowulf 
 both use it. Its origin goes back, it is be- 
 lieved, to a word which means dear, and 
 the root of friend itself is the old Teutonic 
 participle which means loving ; it would not 
 have been quite true to its own traditions 
 if it had meant loved. From the same root 
 come words signifying to woo and to caress 
 — all that is implied in love may be found 
 in one or another of the meanings of triend. 
 From it, too, come many pleasant words, 
 some of which deserve more frequent use 
 than they receive. To friend a man is an 
 old phase that might be revived to ad- 
 vantage. Friendlihead or friendlihood, sig- 
 nifying both friendship and friendliness, 
 ought never to have been lost sight of. Nor 
 are friendsome and friendsomeness words 
 that we can afford to be without, any more 
 than we can afford to be without the ideas 
 they represent. 
 
 The 
 
 Meaning 
 of 
 Friend
 
 34 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Ralph 
 Waldo 
 
 Emerson 
 
 There are two elements that go to the 
 composition of friendship, each so sovereign 
 that I can detect no superiority in either, 
 no reason why either should be first named. 
 One is Truth. A friend is a person with 
 whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may 
 think aloud. I am arrived at last in the 
 presence of a man so real and equal that I 
 may drop even those undermost garments 
 of dissimulation, courtesy, and second 
 thought, which men never put off, and may 
 deal with him with the simplicity and whole- 
 ness with which one chemical atom meets 
 another. The other element of friendship 
 is Tenderness. We are holden to men by 
 every sort of tie, by blood, by pride, by fear, 
 by hope, by lucre, by lust, by hate, by admi- 
 ration, by every circumstance and badge 
 and trifle, but we can scarce believe that so 
 much character can subsist in another as to 
 draw us by love. Can another be so blessed, 
 and we so pure, that we can offer him 
 tenderness? When a man becomes dear to 
 me, I have touched the goal of fortune. 
 
 Friendship with none but equals should be 
 ton made. 
 
 Proverbs 
 of 
 Solomon 
 
 A man that hath friends must show him- 
 self friendly : and there is a friend that stick- 
 eth closer than a brother.
 
 FRIENDSHIP'S ESSENTIALS 
 
 35 
 
 Friendship is one mind in two bodies. 
 
 To God be humble, and to thy friend be kind. 
 
 A very simple intellectual mechanism 
 answers the necessities of friendship, and 
 even of the most intimate relations of life. 
 If a watch tell us the hour and minute, we 
 can be content to carry it about with us 
 for a lifetime, though it has no second hand 
 and is not a repeater, nor a musical watch, 
 though it is not enameled nor jeweled, — in 
 short though it has little beyond the wheels 
 required for a trustworthy instrument, 
 added to a good face and a pair of useful 
 hands. 
 
 Only a wise man knows how to love ; only 
 a wise man is a friend. 
 
 Let us, then, be what we are and speak what 
 we think, and in all 
 
 Keep ourselves loyal to truth, and the sacred 
 professions of friendship. 
 
 I will deal with you with all the frankness 
 which is due to friendship. 
 
 Friendship is nothing else than entire 
 fellow-feeling as to all things, human and 
 divine, with mutual good-will and affection. 
 
 Pure friendship is something which men 
 of an inferior intellect can never taste. 
 
 Aristotle 
 
 Dunbar 
 
 Oliver 
 
 Wendell 
 
 Holmes 
 
 Seneca 
 
 Henry 
 Wads- 
 worth 
 Long- 
 fellow 
 
 George 
 Wash- 
 ington 
 
 Cicero 
 "On 
 
 Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 Jean de 
 la Bru- 
 yere
 
 36 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Benjamin 
 Franklin 
 
 Henry 
 
 David 
 
 Thoreau 
 
 Earl of 
 Orrey 
 
 Emerson 
 
 Henry 
 
 W. 
 
 Shaw 
 
 William 
 Cowper 
 
 Thomas 
 
 Carlyle 
 
 "Sartor 
 
 Resar- 
 
 tus" 
 
 A benevolent man should allow a few 
 faults in himself, to keep his friends in coun- 
 tenance. 
 
 A man's social and spiritual discipline 
 must answer to his corporeal. He must 
 lean on a friend who has a hard breast, as 
 he would lie on a hard bed. He must drink 
 cold water for his only beverage. So he 
 must not hear sweetened and colored words, 
 but pure and refreshing truths. He must 
 daily bathe in truth, cold as spring water, 
 not warmed by the sympathy of friends. 
 
 Friendship above all ties does bind the heart; 
 And faith in friendship is the noblest part. 
 
 We talk of choosing friends, but friends 
 are self-elected. 
 
 If you would know how rare a thing a 
 true friend is, let me tell you that to be a 
 true friend, a man must be perfectly honest. 
 
 I would not enter on my list of friends 
 (Though graced with polished manners and fine 
 
 sense, 
 Yet wanting sensibility) the man 
 Who needlessly sets foot upon a worm. 
 
 How were friendship possible? In mu- 
 tual devotedness to the Good and True: 
 otherwise impossible except as armed neu- 
 trality or hollow commercial league.
 
 FRIENDSHIP'S ESSENTIALS 
 
 37 
 
 What makes a friend? The heart that glows 
 With changeless love in Arctic snows, 
 Nor fails to cheer 'mid desert sand. 
 This plainer speaks than clasp of hand: 
 Hands may be firmly clasped by foes. 
 
 Have you not met with some men who 
 very rarely spoke about their own impres- 
 sions and thoughts, who seldom laid down 
 the law, and yet you were sure had a fund 
 of wisdom within, and who made you par- 
 takers of it by the light which they threw on 
 the earth in which they were dwelling, es- 
 pecially by the kindly, humorous, pathetic 
 way in which they interested you about your 
 fellowmen, and made you acquainted with 
 them? I do not say that this is the only 
 class of friends which one would wish for. 
 One likes to have some who in quiet mo- 
 ments are more directly communicative 
 about their own sufferings and struggles. 
 But certainly you would not say that men 
 of the other class are not very pleasant and 
 very profitable. 
 
 I love a friendship free and frank. 
 
 True friendship cannot be among many. 
 
 The essence of friendship is entireness, a 
 total magnanimity and trust. It must not 
 surmise or provide for infirmity. It treats 
 its object as a god, that it may deify both. 
 
 Volney 
 Streamer 
 
 Frederic 
 Denison 
 Maurice 
 
 John 
 Byrom 
 
 Norris 
 
 Emerson
 
 38 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Emerson 
 
 Perry 
 Marshall 
 
 Stephen 
 Phillips 
 
 William 
 Hazlitt 
 
 Anthony 
 Hope 
 
 John 
 Gay 
 
 Daniel 
 
 Parki- 
 
 son 
 
 of John 
 
 Wade 
 
 William 
 Penn in 
 "Fruits 
 of Soli- 
 tude" 
 
 The laws of friendship are great, austere, 
 and eternal, of one web with the laws of na- 
 ture and of morals. 
 
 Think it not friendship which forever 
 seeks itself; but that which gives itself for 
 others. 
 
 Beautiful friendship, tried by sun and wind, 
 Durable from the daily dust of life. 
 
 It is well that there is no one without a 
 fault, for he would not have a friend in the 
 world. 
 
 I declare that I have always limited my 
 expectation of attachments entirely disinter- 
 ested. Are there any? Who cherishes a 
 friend from whom there is neither profit nor 
 pleasure to be had? Or, at any rate, from 
 whom neither has been had? 
 
 'T is thus in friendship; who depend 
 On many rarely find a friend. 
 
 Whoever heard him utter an ill-natured 
 word respecting anyone, living or dead? 
 Where was there a kinder friend or better 
 neighbor? Now, above all things, where 
 was his equal as a companion, 
 
 A true friend unbosoms freely, advises 
 justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, 
 takes all patiently, defends courageously, 
 and continues a friend unchangeably.
 
 FRIENDSHIP'S ESSENTIALS 
 
 39 
 
 Friendship should be surrounded with 
 ceremonies and respect, and not crushed 
 into corners. Friendship requires more 
 time than poor busy man can usually com- 
 mand. 
 
 True happiness 
 Consists not in the multitude of friends, 
 But in the worth and choice. 
 
 To say that a man is your friend, means 
 commonly no more than this, that he is not 
 your enemy. Most contemplate only what 
 would be the accidental and trifling advant- 
 ages of friendship, as that the friend can 
 assist in time of need, by his substance, or 
 his influence, or his counsel; but he who 
 foresees such advantage in this relation 
 proves himself blind to its real advantage, or 
 indeed wholly inexperienced in the relation 
 itself. 
 
 I loved my friend for his gentleness, his 
 candor, his good repute, his freedom even 
 from my own livelier manner, his calm and 
 reasonable kindness. It was not any par- 
 ticular talent that attracted me to him, or 
 anything striking whatsoever. I should 
 say in one word, it was his goodness. 
 
 A true test of friendship, to sit or walk 
 with a friend for an hour in perfect silence 
 without wearying of one another's company. 
 
 Ralph 
 Waldo 
 Emerson 
 
 Ben 
 Jonson 
 
 Henry 
 David 
 Thoreau 
 
 Leigh 
 Hunt 
 
 Dinah 
 Muloch
 
 4o 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 £ord 
 Avebury 
 
 Cicero 
 "On 
 Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 Sir Philip 
 Sidney 
 
 Jonathan 
 Swift 
 
 Ralph 
 
 Waldo 
 
 Emerson 
 
 Oliver 
 
 Marble 
 
 Gale 
 
 Francis 
 Bacon 
 
 Alex- 
 ander 
 Pope 
 
 Ouida 
 
 It is not enough to love those who are near 
 and dear to us. We must show them that 
 we do so. 
 
 In friendship there is nothing pretended, 
 nothing feigned, whatever there is in it is 
 both genuine and spontaneous. 
 
 Everything that is mine, even to my life, 
 I may give to one I love, but the secret of 
 my friend is not mine to give. 
 
 True friendship in two breasts requires 
 The same aversions, and desires. 
 
 I wish that friendship should have feet, 
 as well as eyes and eloquence. In must 
 plant itself on the ground, before it walks 
 over the moon. I wish it to be a little of a 
 citizen, before it is quite a cherub. 
 
 If gratitude means a lively sense of future 
 favors, friendship signifies a lively sense of 
 past favors, mutually conferred. 
 
 A crowd is not company, and faces are 
 but a gallery of pictures, and talk but a 
 tinkling cymbal, where there is no love. 
 
 A generous friendship no cold medium knows, 
 Burns with one love, with one resentment glows. 
 
 We must not expect our friends to be 
 above humanity.
 
 FRIENDSHIP'S ESSENTIALS 
 
 4i 
 
 I do not treat friendships daintily, but with 
 roughest courage. When they are real, they 
 are not glass threads or frost work, but the 
 solidest thing we know. 
 
 All men have their frailties, and whoever 
 looks for a friend without imperfections will 
 never find what he seeks. We love our- 
 selves notwithstanding our faults, and we 
 ought to love our friends in like manner. 
 
 Nay, my lords, ceremony was but devised at first 
 To set a gloss on faint deeds, hollow welcomes, 
 Recanting goodness, sorry ere 't is shown; 
 But where there is true friendship, there needs 
 none. 
 
 If you would be loved as a companion, 
 avoid unnecessary criticism. 
 
 If I could choose a young man's com- 
 panions, some should be weaker than him- 
 self, that he might learn patience and 
 charity; many should be as nearly as pos- 
 sible his equals, that he might have the full 
 freedom of friendship; but most should be 
 stronger than he was, that he might forever 
 be thinking humbly of himself and tempted 
 to higher things. 
 
 Friendship's true laws are by this rule exprest, 
 Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. 
 
 Let no man think he is loved by any man 
 when he loves no man. 
 
 Emerson 
 
 Cyrus 
 
 Shakes- 
 peare in 
 "Timon 
 of 
 Athens" 
 
 Sir 
 
 Arthur 
 
 Helps 
 
 Phillips 
 Brooks 
 
 Alexan- 
 der Pope 
 
 Epictetus
 
 42 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Robert 
 Louis 
 Steven- 
 son 
 
 Sopho- 
 cles 
 
 Honore 
 de Balzac 
 
 James 
 Howell 
 
 Charles 
 Kingsley 
 
 Manley 
 Pike 
 
 Thomas 
 Jefferson 
 
 Emerson 
 
 To keep a few friends but these without 
 capitulation — above all, on the same grim 
 condition, to keep friends with himself — 
 here is a task for all that a man has of forti- 
 tude and delicacy. 
 
 The man that knows 
 
 Receiving good to render good again, 
 
 Would be a friend worth more than land or goods. 
 
 In the first place, you will never have more 
 than two or three friends in the whole course 
 of your life. Your entire confidence is 
 their right; to give it to many is to betray 
 those who are indeed your friends. 
 
 Love is the life of friendship. 
 
 It is only the great-hearted who can be 
 true friends; the mean and the cowardly 
 can never know what true friendship is. 
 
 People who always receive you with great 
 cordiality rarely care for you. Your true 
 friends make you a partaker of their humors. 
 
 Wealth, title, office are no recommenda- 
 tions to my friendship. On the contrary, 
 great good qualities are requisite to make 
 amends for their having wealth, title, and 
 office. 
 
 The only reward of virtue, is virtue: The 
 only way to have a friend, is to be one.
 
 FRIENDSHIP'S ESSENTIALS 
 
 43 
 
 It is not the office of a friend to be sour, 
 or at any time morose ; but free, open, and 
 ingenuous, candid, and humane, not deny- 
 ing to please, but ever refusing to abuse or 
 corrupt. 
 
 Friendship, like love, is but a name, 
 Unless to one you stint the flame. 
 The child whom many fathers share 
 Hath seldom known a father's care. 
 'T is thus in friendship — who depend 
 On many rarely find a friend. 
 
 Friendship cannot become permanent un- 
 less it becomes spiritual. There must be 
 fellowship in the deepest things of the soul, 
 community in the highest thoughts, sym- 
 pathy with the best endeavors. 
 
 True love and friendship are the same. 
 
 Friendship is affluent and generous, and 
 not disposed to keep strict watch lest it 
 may give more than it receives. 
 
 The question was once put to Aristotle, 
 how we ought to behave to our friends ; and 
 the answer he gave was, "As we should 
 wish our friends to behave to us." 
 
 A friend should bear his friend's infirm- 
 ities. 
 
 The happiness of love is in action; its 
 test is what one is willing to do for others. 
 
 Jeremy 
 Taylor 
 
 John Gay 
 
 Hugh 
 Black 
 
 James 
 Thomson 
 
 Cicero 
 "On 
 Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 Plutarch 
 
 Shake- 
 speare 
 
 Lew 
 Wallace
 
 44 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 From the 
 
 Masnavi 
 
 of Jelal- 
 
 ud-din 
 
 Rumi 
 
 Once a man came and knocked at the door of his 
 
 friend. 
 His friend said, "Who art thou, O faithful one?" 
 He said " 'T is I." He answered, "There is no ad- 
 mittance. 
 There is no room for the raw at my well-cooked 
 
 feast. 
 Naught but fire and separation and absence 
 Can cook the raw one and free him from hypoc- 
 risy! 
 Since thy self has not yet left thee, 
 Thou must be burned in fiery flames." 
 
 The poor man went away, and for one whole year 
 Journeyed burning with grief for his friend's ab- 
 sence. 
 His heart burned till it was cooked; then he went 
 
 again 
 And drew near to the house of his friend. 
 He knocked at the door in fear and trepidation 
 Lest some careless word should fall from his lips. 
 His friend shouted, "Who is that at the door?" 
 He answered, " 'T is thou who art at the door, O 
 
 beloved!" 
 The friend said, "Since 't is I, let me come in, 
 There is not room for two I's in one house." 
 
 George 
 Washing- 
 ton 
 
 "Social 
 Maxims" 
 
 Alexan- 
 der Pope 
 
 A slender acquaintance with the world 
 must convince every man, that actions, not 
 words, are the true criterion of the attach- 
 ment of friends ; and that the most liberal 
 profession of good-will is very far from 
 being the surest mark of it. 
 
 Ah, friend! to dazzle let the vain design; 
 
 To raise the thought and touch the heart be thine.
 
 FRIENDSHIP'S ESSENTIALS 
 
 45 
 
 In every walk of life and irrespective of 
 advantages of means and education there 
 are people whose minds are interesting; 
 people of talent, of humor, of sagacity, of 
 sound discretion and integrity; people of 
 constancy, capable of self-sacrifice and high 
 devotion. The acquaintance of such people 
 is worth cultivating wherever one finds 
 them. Life is an aggregation of daily ex- 
 periences, most of which are trivial, but the 
 aggregate of trivial things counts for a great 
 deal. The familiar faces we see in the daily 
 round and the brief exchanges of salutation 
 and discourse that one encounters are inci- 
 dents of superficial importance, but they go 
 a long way toward making the difference 
 between existence that is profitable and 
 existence that is dull : 
 
 To make the world a friendly place 
 One must show it a friendly face. 
 
 If one's intimate in love or friendship can- 
 not or does not share all one's intellectual 
 tastes or pursuits, that is a small matter. 
 Intellectual companions can be found easily 
 in men and books. After all, if we think of 
 it, most of the world's great loves and friend- 
 ships have been between people that could 
 not read or spell. 
 
 A mutual understanding is ever the firm- 
 est chain. 
 
 Edward 
 
 Sandford 
 
 Martin 
 
 Oliver 
 
 Wendell 
 
 Holmes 
 
 Emerson
 
 II 
 
 THE STEPPING STONES
 
 THE STEPPING STONES 
 
 49 
 
 'T is thus that on the choice of friends 
 Our good or evil name depends. 
 
 Be not jealous of thy friend's friendship 
 for another; surely the more friends he 
 hath, the better friend he is to have. 
 
 In many cases of friendship, or what 
 passes for it, the old axiom is reversed, and 
 like clings to unlike more than to like. 
 
 Make me to love my feller-man 
 
 Yea, though his bitterness 
 Doth bite as only adders can 
 
 Let me the fault confess, 
 And go to him and clasp his hand, 
 
 And love him none the less. 
 So keep me, Lord, forever free 
 
 From vane concete with him, 
 And he whose pius eyes can see 
 
 My faults, however dim, 
 Oh! let him pray the least fer me, 
 
 And me the most fer him. 
 
 I never yet cast a true affection on a 
 woman; but I have loved my friend as I do 
 virtue, my soul, my God. I love my friend 
 before myself, and yet methinks I do not 
 love him enough: some few months hence 
 my multiplied affection will make me be- 
 lieve I have not loved him at all. When I 
 am from him, I am dead till I be with him ; 
 when I am with him I am not satisfied, but 
 would be still nearer him. 
 
 John 
 Gay 
 
 Christo- 
 pher 
 Bannister 
 
 Dickens 
 in "Mar- 
 tin Chuz- 
 zlewit." 
 
 James 
 Whit- 
 comb 
 Riley in 
 "Mortul 
 Prayer" 
 
 Sir 
 
 Thomas 
 
 Browne 
 
 in "Re- 
 
 ligio 
 
 Medici"
 
 So 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Joanna 
 Baillie 
 
 John 
 Gay 
 
 Theodore 
 Munger 
 
 Oliver 
 
 Wendell 
 
 Holmes 
 
 Thomas 
 May 
 
 Benjamin 
 Franklin 
 
 Harriet 
 B. Stowe 
 
 Jane 
 Austen 
 
 Caleb 
 Colton 
 
 Henry 
 Wallace 
 
 Friendship is no plant of hasty growth; 
 Though planted in esteem's deep fixed soil, 
 The gradual culture of kind intercourse 
 Must bring it to perfection. 
 
 From wine what sudden friendship 
 springs ! 
 
 Choose a friend as thou dost a wife, till 
 death separates you. 
 
 A calm, clear mind, not subject to the 
 spasms and crises which are so often met 
 with in creative or intensely perceptive 
 natures, is the best basis for love or friend- 
 ship. 
 
 Absence not long enough to root out quite 
 All love, increases love at second sight. 
 
 Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in 
 changing. 
 
 Friendships are discovered rather than 
 made. 
 
 Friendship is certainly the finest balm for 
 pangs of disappointed love. 
 
 Friendship often ends in love ; but love in 
 friendship never. 
 
 Seek no friend to make him useful, for that 
 is the negation of friendship; but seek him 
 that you may be useful, for this is of friend- 
 ship's essence.
 
 THE STEPPING STONES 
 
 5* 
 
 Turn him and see his threads, look if he be 
 Friend to himself, that would be friend to thee, 
 For that is first required, a man to be his own; 
 But he that 's too much that, is friend to none. 
 
 The chief friend and friend-maker is 
 money. 
 
 If we first quarrel we shall eventually be- 
 come sympathetic friends. 
 
 A good man is the best friend, and there- 
 fore soonest to be chosen, longest to be re- 
 tained; and indeed never to be parted with, 
 unless he cease to be that for which he was 
 chosen. 
 
 These friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, 
 Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel. 
 
 When we live through love we begin 
 friendship. 
 
 Friendship made in a moment is of no 
 moment. 
 
 Choose your companions wisely, and your 
 friends will come about naturally. 
 
 Friendship springs from nature rather 
 than from need. 
 
 Yet how often we know merely the sight 
 of those we call our friends, or the sound 
 of their voices, but nothing whatever of their 
 mind or soul. 
 
 Ben 
 Jonson 
 
 Lupton's 
 "Sivgila" 
 
 H. C. 
 
 Chatfield- 
 Taylor 
 
 Jeremy 
 Taylor 
 
 Shake- 
 speare 
 "Hamlet" 
 
 Heinrich 
 Heine 
 
 Proverb 
 
 Theodore 
 Munger 
 
 Cicero 
 
 Lord 
 Avebury
 
 52 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 John 
 MacCunn 
 in "The 
 Making 
 of Char- 
 acter" 
 
 And though Aristotle does well to warn 
 us that absence dissolves friendship, it is 
 happily none the less true that friend may 
 powerfully influence friend though the two 
 be by no means constant associates. Even 
 far removal in place, or in occupation, or in 
 fortunes, cannot arrest influence. For once 
 any man has true friends, he never again 
 frames his decisions, even those that are the 
 most secret, as if he were alone in the world. 
 He frames them habitually in the imagined 
 company of friends. In their visionary 
 presence he thinks and acts ; and by them as 
 visionary tribunal, he feels himself, even in 
 his unspoken intentions and inmost feelings, 
 to be judged. In this aspect, friendship 
 may become a supreme force both to en- 
 courage and restrain. For it is not simply 
 what our friends expect of us that is the 
 vital matter here. They are too often more 
 tolerant of our failings than is perhaps 
 good for us. It is what in our best mo- 
 ments we believe that they expect of us. 
 For it is then that they become to us, not of 
 their own choice, but of ours, a kind of 
 second conscience, in whose presence our 
 weaknesses and backslidings become "that 
 worst kind of sacrilege that tears down the 
 invisible altar of trust." 
 
 Alexan- 
 der Pope 
 
 A decent boldness ever meets with friends.
 
 THE STEPPING STONES 
 
 53 
 
 Every man should have a fair sized ceme- 
 tery in which to bury the faults of his 
 friends. 
 
 Our chief want in life is, somebody who 
 shall make us do what we can. This is the 
 service of a friend. 
 
 Some seem to make a man a friend, or try 
 to do so, because he lives near, because he is 
 in the same business, travels on the same 
 line of railway, or for some other trivial 
 reason. There cannot be a greater mistake. 
 
 As I love nature, as I love singing birds, 
 and gleaming stubble, and flowing rivers, 
 and morning, and evening, and summer, and 
 winter, I love thee, my friend. 
 
 Blessed are they who have the gift of 
 making friends, for it is one of God's best 
 gifts. It involves many things, but, above 
 all, the power of going out of one's self, and 
 appreciating whatever is noble and loving 
 in another. 
 
 Think of this doctrine — that reasoning 
 beings were created for one another's sake; 
 that to be patient is a branch of justice, and 
 that men sin without intending it. 
 
 If we would build on a sure foundation in 
 friendship, we must love our friends for 
 their sakes rather than for our own. 
 
 Henry 
 
 Ward 
 
 Beecher 
 
 Ralph 
 Waldo 
 Emerson 
 
 Lord 
 Avebury 
 in "The 
 Pleasures 
 of Life" 
 
 Henry 
 David 
 Thoreau 
 
 Thomas 
 Hughes 
 
 Marcus 
 Aurelius 
 
 Charlotte 
 Bronte
 
 54 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 James 
 Russell 
 Lowell 
 
 Lord 
 Chester- 
 field 
 
 Bruce 
 Hender- 
 son 
 
 Amy C. 
 Price 
 
 H. C. 
 
 Chatfield- 
 Taylor 
 
 John J. 
 Warner 
 
 Frances 
 F. Graves 
 
 George C. 
 Johnston 
 
 Emerson 
 
 Open to me thy heart of heart's deep core, 
 Or never say that I am dear to thee; 
 
 Call me not Friend, if thou keep close the door 
 That leads into thine inmost sympathy. 
 
 Do not let your self-love make you sup- 
 pose that people become your friends at 
 first sight, or even upon short acquaintance. 
 
 Suspicion is well in its place, but one cul- 
 tivates it at the expense of friendliness. 
 And it is better to have friends than suspi- 
 cions. 
 
 Cultivate friendliness, for it is the seed 
 of friendship. 
 
 The prime requisite in a good friend is the 
 habit of good impulses. 
 
 Have friends of your own trade that shop- 
 talk may make you skillful; have friends in 
 other trades lest shop-talk leave you un- 
 skillful. 
 
 An affectionate disposition is the soil in 
 which friendship roots itself most quickly 
 and most deeply. 
 
 If you have a vice and would rid your- 
 self of it, take for your friends those who 
 have it not. 
 
 What are the best days in memory? 
 Those in which we met a companion who 
 was truly such.
 
 THE STEPPING STONES 
 
 55 
 
 Learn that to love is the one way to know 
 
 Or God or man: it is not love received 
 
 That maketh man to know the inner life 
 
 Of them that love him; but his own love bestowed 
 
 Shall do it. 
 
 When thine heart goeth out to a man 
 seek not to call it back, for it is better in 
 the keeping of a friend than in thine own. 
 
 There is no virtue in a man that does not 
 make him a better friend ; no vice that does 
 not make him worse. 
 
 It is a wise man who shares his reading 
 with those he loves, since the more friends 
 have in common the friendlier they are cer- 
 tain to be. 
 
 Nature teaches beasts to know their 
 friends. 
 
 Remembering that happiness is a prime 
 requisite to usefulness, you will be assured 
 that friends conduce both to happiness and 
 usefulness. 
 
 There are men born for friendship, men 
 to whom the cultivation of it is nature, is 
 necessity. 
 
 Nothing strengthens friendship more 
 than for one friend to feel himself the su- 
 perior of the other. 
 
 Jean 
 Ingelow 
 
 Christo- 
 pher 
 Bannister 
 
 Oliver 
 M. Gale 
 
 Christo- 
 pher 
 Bannister 
 
 Shake- 
 speare 
 
 Brewster 
 Mat- 
 thews 
 
 Walter 
 Savage 
 Landor 
 
 Honore 
 de Balzac
 
 56 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Edward 
 Wight- 
 man "The 
 Friend" 
 
 J. R. 
 
 Miller 
 
 Euripides 
 
 Wright's 
 "Pas- 
 sions" 
 
 Char- 
 lotte 
 Bronte 
 
 George 
 Roberts 
 
 Robert 
 
 L. Lori- 
 
 mer 
 
 Take the lid from off your heart and let me see 
 
 within ; 
 Curious, I, and impudent, a rugged man of sin. 
 And yet I hold you truer than president or priest; 
 I put my bowl against your lip and seat you at my 
 
 feast; 
 I probe your wound and chafe your limbs and get 
 
 my god to see 
 That you are strengthened as we fare the forest 
 
 and the lea. 
 Strike hands with me, the glasses brim, the sun 
 
 is on the heather, 
 And love is good and life is long and two are best 
 
 together. 
 
 Wanting to have a friend is altogether 
 different from wanting to be a friend. 
 
 It is delicious to behold the face of a 
 friendly and sweet person. 
 
 Soon angry, soon friended. 
 
 Friendship is a plant which cannot be 
 forced. True friendship is no gourd, spring- 
 ing in a night and withering in a day. 
 
 Every modern man must be many-sided; 
 for every side he needs a friend. 
 
 Study yourself until you know where you 
 are strong and where weak; study your 
 acquaintance until you find a man weak 
 where you are strong and strong where you 
 are weak, that the benefits may be recipro- 
 cal; and make that man your friend.
 
 THE STEPPING STONES 
 
 57 
 
 We should learn from Jesus that the es- 
 sential quality in the heart of friendship is 
 not the desire to have friends, but the desire 
 to be a friend ; not to get good and help from 
 others, but to impart blessing to others. 
 Many of the sighings for friendship which 
 we have are merely selfish longings, a de- 
 sire for happiness, for pleasure, for the grati- 
 fication of the heart, which friends bring. 
 If the desire were to be a friend, to do others 
 good, to serve and to give help, it would be 
 a far more Christlike longing, and would 
 transform the life and character. 
 
 In all things be courteous to thy friend, 
 as to thyself; for is he not thy better self? 
 
 Love your friend with his foible. 
 
 Take to your heart no friend whose affec- 
 tion requires proof; proof implies doubt, 
 and where doubt is, love is not. 
 
 Rejoice in all the honors which come to 
 those you know. That you know them 
 makes you, in a sense, a partner in their 
 fame; that you rejoice with them brings 
 you their friendship. 
 
 To distrust a friend is a double folly; for 
 why did you take for friend one that could 
 be distrusted? and why do you keep him? 
 Trust IS friendship. 
 
 J. R. 
 
 Miller 
 "Personal 
 Friend- 
 ship of 
 Jesus" 
 
 Christo- 
 pher 
 Bannister 
 
 Old 
 Saying 
 
 Jacob 
 de Groot 
 
 Henry 
 
 Worth- 
 
 ington 
 
 Bryant 
 
 A. 
 
 Wooster
 
 Ill 
 
 THE STUMBLING BLOCKS
 
 THE STUMBLING BLOCKf 
 
 61 
 
 He who bereaves friendship of mutual re- 
 spect takes from it its greatest ornament. 
 
 You should know the customs of a friend, 
 but not take a dislike to them. 
 
 I have scarce a married friend of my ac- 
 quaintance upon whose firm faith I can 
 rely, whose friendship did not commence 
 after the period of his marriage. With some 
 limitations, they (the wives) can endure 
 that; but that the good man should have 
 dared to enter into a solemn league of 
 friendship in which they were not con- 
 sulted, though it happened before they knew 
 him, before they that are now man and 
 wife ever met, this is intolerable to them. 
 
 That man may last, but never lives, 
 Who much receives but nothing gives; 
 Whom none can love, whom none can thank, 
 Creation's blot, creation's blank. 
 
 A friend is a rare book, of which but one 
 copy is made. We read a page of it every 
 day, till some woman snatches it from our 
 hands, who sometimes peruses it, but more 
 frequently tears it. 
 
 The better the lover, the poorer the friend. 
 
 Whosoever in the frame of his nature and 
 affections is unfit for friendship, he taketh 
 it of the beast, and not from humanity. 
 
 Cicero 
 
 Proverb 
 
 Charles 
 Lamb 
 "Essays 
 of Elia" 
 
 Thomas 
 Gibbons 
 
 Author 
 Unknown 
 
 John 
 Holden 
 
 Francis 
 Bacon
 
 62 
 
 TI 
 
 IE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Edward 
 
 Everett 
 
 Hale 
 
 Moliere 
 translat- 
 ed by H. 
 C. Chat- 
 field- 
 
 Taylor 
 
 Emerson 
 
 Chaucer 
 
 Henry 
 
 David 
 
 Thoreau 
 
 There are cases where men are so self- 
 absorbed, so self-centered, that they take 
 the friendship of others, their kindly 
 thoughts and friendly deeds, without return. 
 
 Nor hate I aught so much as the contortions 
 
 Which great assevators use — those far 
 
 Too cordial givers of unmeaning love, 
 
 Too courteous givers of empty words, 
 
 Who in smooth manners vie, treating true worth 
 
 And any fopling with an equal grace. 
 
 To what good end if, swearing admiration, 
 
 Tenderness and trust, friendship, zeal, and faith, 
 
 A man shall laud you to the skies, then rush 
 
 Into the arms of any common wretch 
 
 He meets by chance, to do as much? No, no! 
 
 A heart endowed with self-respect can ne'er 
 
 Endure such prostituted reverence; 
 
 The vainest, even, finds but little cheer 
 
 In mere confusion with the universe. 
 
 Esteem on some true preference is based; 
 
 Thus in esteeming all, no man 's esteemed. 
 
 An indiscriminating heart's regard 
 
 I scorn — myself must needs be prized; in brief, 
 
 The friend of all mankind's no friend for me. 
 
 I hate the prostitution of the name of 
 friendship to signify modish and worldly 
 alliances. 
 
 Keep well thy tongue and keep thy friends. 
 
 The constitutional differences which al- 
 ways exist, and are obstacles to a perfect 
 friendship, are forever a forbidden theme to 
 the lips of friends.
 
 THE STUMBLING BLOCK? 
 
 63 
 
 Mutual respect implies discretion and re- 
 serve even in love itself; it means preserv- 
 ing as much liberty as possible to those 
 whose life we share. We must distrust our 
 instinct of intervention, for the desire to 
 make our own will prevail is often disguised 
 under the mask of solicitude. 
 
 If you find a man who performs most of 
 the relations of life dutifully, is even kind 
 and affectionate, but who, you discover, is 
 secretly disliked and feared by all his friends 
 and acquaintances, you will often on further 
 investigation, ascertain that he is one who 
 indulges largely in needless criticism. 
 
 Few friendships wear well through a long 
 
 life. The friends do not progress equally; 
 
 one matures quickly, the other slowly. One 
 
 becomes pious, the other impious. They 
 
 marry (this is the commonest interruption 
 
 of all) antipathetic wives. It is all as it 
 
 should be if they were really friends once, 
 
 for friends, in fact, belong to periods rather 
 
 than to all time, though sentiment would 
 have it otherwise. 
 
 Every friendship which a man may have 
 becomes precarious as soon as he engages 
 in politics. 
 
 There is nothing more fatal to friendship 
 than the greed of gain. 
 
 From 
 Amiel's 
 Journal 
 translat- 
 ed by 
 Mrs. 
 
 Humphry 
 Ward 
 
 Sir 
 
 Arthur 
 
 Helps 
 
 Edward 
 
 Verrall 
 
 Lucas 
 
 in "Over 
 
 Bemer- 
 
 ton's" 
 
 Lord 
 Avebury 
 
 Cicero
 
 64 
 
 frt 
 
 'HE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Terence 
 
 Proverb 
 
 William 
 Words- 
 worth 
 "To a 
 Distant 
 Friend" 
 
 /Eschylus 
 
 Mark 
 Twain 
 
 Rendel 
 Harris 
 
 Complacency wins friends, but truth 
 gives birth to hatred. 
 
 Do not lose your friend for your jest. 
 
 Why art thou silent? Is thy love a plant 
 Of such weak fiber that the treacherous air 
 Of absence withers what was once so fair? 
 
 Is there no debt to pay, no boon to grant? 
 
 Yet have my thoughts for thee been vigilant, 
 Bound to thy service with unceasing care, 
 The mind's least generous wish a mendicant 
 
 For nought but what thy happiness could spare. 
 
 Speak! Though this soft, warm heart, once free to 
 hold 
 A thousand tender pleasures, thine and mine, 
 Be left more desolate, more dreary cold 
 Than a forsaken bird's nest filled with snow 
 
 'Mid its own blush of leafless eglantine: 
 Speak! that my torturing doubts their end may 
 know! 
 
 Few men have the strength to honor a 
 friend's success without envy. I know well 
 that mirror of friendship, shadow of a shade. 
 
 The holy passion of friendship is of so 
 sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a 
 nature, that it will last through a whole 
 lifetime, if not asked to lend money. 
 
 Few things are more fatal to friendship 
 than the stiffness which cannot take a step 
 towards acknowledgment.
 
 THE STUMBLING BLOCKS 
 
 65 
 
 I never consider a difference of opinion 
 in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as 
 cause for withdrawing from a friend. 
 
 Friendship is usually treated by the ma- 
 jority of mankind as a tough and everlast- 
 ing thing which will survive all manner of 
 bad treatment. But this is an exceedingly 
 great and foolish error ; it may die in an hour 
 of a single unwise word. 
 
 I don't meddle with what my friends be- 
 lieve or reject any more than I ask whether 
 they are rich or poor ; I love them. 
 
 If friendship last on into opening man- 
 hood, it is not infrequently broken up by 
 rivalry in quest of a wife. 
 
 If I had the inclination and ability to do 
 the crudest thing upon earth to the man I 
 hated, I would lay him under the necessity 
 of borrowing money from a friend. 
 
 All like the purchase; Few the price will pay; 
 And this makes friends such miracles below. 
 
 Flattery 
 Is monstrous in a true friend. 
 
 As adulterine metals retain the luster and 
 color of gold, but not the value ; so flattery 
 in imitation of friendship, takes the face and 
 outside of it. 
 
 Thomas 
 Jefferson 
 
 Ouida 
 
 James 
 
 Russell 
 
 Lowell 
 
 Cicero 
 "On 
 
 Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 Edward 
 Moore 
 
 Edward 
 Young 
 
 John 
 Ford 
 
 Jeremy 
 Taylor
 
 66 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Henry 
 
 David 
 
 Thoreau 
 
 Jeremy 
 Taylor 
 
 Author 
 Unknown 
 
 Walter 
 
 Pope's 
 
 "Wish" 
 
 Turkish 
 Proverb 
 
 Spenser 
 
 Thomas 
 Jefferson 
 
 Thomas 
 Moore 
 
 Proverbs 
 
 It is equally impossible to forget our 
 friends, and to make them answer to our 
 ideal. When they say farewell, then indeed 
 we begin to keep them company. How 
 often we find ourselves turning our back on 
 our actual friends, that we may keep com- 
 pany with their ideal cousins. 
 
 Friendship does better please our friends 
 than flattery. 
 
 Criticism often takes from the tree cater- 
 pillars and blossoms together. 
 
 May none whom I love to so great riches rise 
 As to slight their acquaintance and their old 
 
 friends despise; 
 So low or so high may none of them be 
 As to move either pity or envy in me. 
 
 Who seeks a faultless friend rests friend- 
 less. 
 
 Discord harder is to end than to begin. 
 
 That is a miserable arithmetic which could 
 estimate friendship as nothing, or at less 
 than nothing. 
 
 Shall I give up the friend I have valued and tried; 
 If he kneel not before the same altar with me? 
 
 Make no friendship with an angry man; 
 and with a furious man thou shalt not go; 
 lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to 
 thy soul.
 
 THE STUMBLING BLOCKS 
 
 67 
 
 Don't flatter yourself that friendship auth- 
 orizes you to say disagreeable things to your 
 intimates. 
 
 The cultivation of the friendship of a 
 powerful man is sweet to the inexperienced ; 
 an experienced man dreads it. 
 
 Reserve or censure come not near 
 Our sacred friendship, lest there be 
 No solace left for thee and me. 
 
 In the choice of a dog or horse, we exer- 
 cise the greatest care : we inquire into its 
 pedigree, its training and character, and yet 
 we too often leave the selection of our 
 friends, which is of infinitely greater im- 
 portance, — by whom our whole life will be 
 more or less influenced either for good or 
 evil, — almost to chance. 
 
 Nothing in the world is more galling than 
 a tardy friend. 
 
 Our very best friends have a tincture of 
 jealousy even in their friendship ; and when 
 they hear us praised by others, will ascribe 
 it to sinister and interested motives if they 
 can. 
 
 In certain circumstances in life we can 
 bear no more from a friend than to feel him 
 beside us. Spoken consolation irritates the 
 wound and reveals its depth. 
 
 Oliver 
 
 Wendell 
 
 Holmes 
 
 Horace 
 
 Percy 
 
 Bysshe 
 Shelley 
 
 Lord 
 Ave bury 
 in "The 
 Pleasures 
 of Life" 
 
 Plautus 
 
 Caleb 
 Colton 
 
 Honore 
 de Balzac
 
 68 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Edward 
 
 Verrall 
 
 Lucas 
 
 Lord 
 Byron 
 
 William 
 Hazlitt 
 
 Knowles 
 
 Brown 
 
 Henry 
 
 David 
 
 Thoreau 
 
 Proverb 
 
 Lord 
 Avebury 
 
 Cicero 
 
 Petrarch 
 Proverb 
 
 La 
 Roche- 
 foucauld 
 
 The art of life is to keep down acquaint- 
 ances. One's friends one can manage, but 
 one's acquaintances can be the devil. 
 
 Who will debase his manly mind, 
 For friendship every fool may share? 
 
 There are no rules for friendship. It must 
 be left to itself ; we cannot force it any more 
 than love. 
 
 A judicious friend is better than a zealous 
 one. 
 
 True love never nags, it trusts. 
 
 The language of friendship is not words, 
 but meanings. It is an intelligence above 
 language. 
 
 Poverty parteth friends. 
 
 Friendship does not confer any privilege 
 to make ourselves disagreeable. 
 
 When love and kindness cease all enjoy- 
 ment is taken out of life. 
 
 Suspicion is the bane of friendship. 
 
 Let not the grass grow on the path of 
 friendship. 
 
 It is more shameful to mistrust your 
 friends than to be deceived by them.
 
 IV 
 ON BEING A FRIEND
 
 ON BEING A FRIEND 
 
 7i 
 
 There are hermit souls that live withdrawn 
 
 In the place of their self-content; 
 
 There are souls like stars, that dwell apart, 
 
 In a fellowless firmament; 
 
 There are pioneer souls that blaze their paths 
 
 Where highways never ran — 
 
 But let me live by the side of the road 
 
 And be a friend to man. 
 
 Samuel 
 
 Walter 
 
 Foss, 
 
 "The 
 
 House 
 
 by the 
 
 Side of 
 
 the 
 
 Road" 
 
 Let me live in a house by the side of the road 
 
 Where the race of men go by — 
 
 The men who are good and the men who are bad, 
 
 As good and as bad as I. 
 
 I would not sit in the scorner's seat 
 
 Or hurl the cynic's ban — 
 
 Let me live in a house by the side of the road 
 
 And be a friend to man. 
 
 I see from my house by the side of the road 
 
 By the side of the highway of life, 
 
 The men who press with the ardor of hope, 
 
 The men who are faint with the strife, 
 
 But I turn not away from their smiles nor their 
 
 tears, 
 Both parts of an infinite plan — 
 Let me live in my house by the side of the road 
 And be a friend to man. 
 
 I know there are brook-gladdened meadows ahead, 
 And mountains of wearisome height; 
 That the road passes on through the long after- 
 noon 
 And stretches away to the night. 
 And still I rejoice when the travelers rejoice 
 And weep with the strangers that moan, 
 Nor live in my house by the side of the road 
 Like a man who dwells alone.
 
 7 2 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Honore 
 de Balzac 
 
 Henry 
 
 Codman 
 
 Potter 
 
 Shake- 
 speare 
 
 Robert 
 Louis 
 Steven- 
 son 
 
 Pope 
 
 Balzac 
 
 John 
 
 Ernest 
 
 McCann 
 
 Emerson 
 
 Kindness given and received aright, and 
 knitting two hearts into one, is a thing of 
 Heaven, as rare in this world as perfect 
 love; both are the overflow of only very 
 rare and beautiful souls. 
 
 One's own life must somehow reach over 
 into and be qualified by, the struggles and 
 interests of other lives. 
 
 Love all, trust a few, 
 Do wrong to none: be able for thine enemy 
 Rather in power than in use; and keep thy friend 
 Under thy own life's key. 
 
 There is an idea abroad among moral 
 people that they should make their neigh- 
 bors good. One person I have to make 
 good: myself. But my duty to my neigh- 
 bor is much more nearly expressed by say- 
 ing that I have to make him happy — if I 
 may. 
 
 My friend is not perfect — no more am I 
 — and so we suit each other admirably. 
 
 Short accounts make long friends. 
 
 "I would go up to the gates of hell with a friend, 
 
 Through thick and thin." 
 The other said, as he bit off a concha end, 
 
 "I would go in." 
 
 Neither is life long enough for friend- 
 ship.
 
 ON BEING A FRIEND 
 
 73 
 
 My friend is that one whom I may asso- 
 ciate with my choicest thoughts. 
 
 We are different with different friends; 
 yet if we look closely we shall find that 
 every such relation reposes on some par- 
 ticular apotheosis of oneself; with each 
 friend, although we could not distinguish 
 it in words from any other, we have at 
 least one special reputation to preserve. 
 
 Happy is the house that shelters a friend ! 
 It might well be built, like a festal bower 
 or arch, to entertain him for a single day. 
 
 The social, friendly, honest man, 
 
 Whate'er he be, 
 T is he fulfills great Nature's plan, 
 
 And none but he! 
 
 We must be as careful to keep friends as 
 to make them. 
 
 There is the kind of friend, that when 
 you need help has a good reason just at 
 the moment, of course, why it is impossible 
 to extend it. I do not mean to criticize this 
 sort of friendship; for sometimes it is a 
 matter of temperament; and sometimes 
 the real necessities are such that the friend 
 cannot do as he would like to do. 
 
 A friend is he that loves, and he that is 
 beloved. 
 
 Thoreau 
 
 Robert 
 Louis 
 Steven- 
 son in 
 "Men 
 and 
 Books" 
 
 Emerson 
 
 Robert 
 Burns 
 
 Lord 
 Avebury 
 
 John D. 
 Rocke- 
 feller 
 
 Hobbe's 
 Rhetoric
 
 74 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Phillips 
 Brooks 
 
 I pity from my heart the man who has 
 no patternman whom he can thoroughly 
 admire and esteem. Admire, yes, wonder at, 
 look at, as something beyond, above, and 
 truly better than himself; dreaming no 
 more of being jealous of his superiority 
 than you were jealous of William Shake- 
 speare when you wrote your last verse for 
 the paper; honoring his friend so purely 
 that he himself is purified and dignified by 
 the worthiness of the honor he bestows. 
 
 Shake- To wail friends lost 
 
 speare Is not by much so wholesome profitable 
 As to rejoice at friends but newly found. 
 
 It is delightful to me to go mad over a 
 friend restored to me. 
 
 Men know the number of their posses- 
 sions, although they be very numerous, 
 but of their friends, though but few, they 
 were not only ignorant of the number, but 
 even when they attempted to reckon it to 
 such as asked them, they set aside again 
 some that they have previously counted 
 among their friends; so little did they al- 
 low their friends to occupy their thoughts. 
 Yet in comparison with what possession 
 would not a good friend appear far more 
 valuable?
 
 ON BEING A FRIEND 
 
 75 
 
 But though one cannot be friends with 
 every one, it is better to be friendly than 
 unfriendly, and those who have really loved 
 anyone, will have some tenderness for all. 
 
 My friend, the brother of my love. 
 
 As ships meet at sea, — a moment to- 
 gether, when words of greeting must be 
 spoken, and then away upon the deep, — so 
 men meet in this world; and I think we 
 should cross no man's path without hail- 
 ing him, and if he needs, giving him sup- 
 plies. 
 
 Antonio: 
 Commend me to your honorable wife; 
 Tell her of the process of Antonio's end; 
 Say how I loved you, speak me fair in death; 
 And when the tale is told, bid her be judge, 
 Whether Bassanio had not once a love, 
 And he repents not that he pays your debt; 
 For, if the Jew do cut but deep enough, 
 I '11 pay it instantly with all my heart. 
 
 Bassanio: 
 Antonio, I am married to a wife, 
 Who is dear to me as life itself; 
 But life itself, my wife, and all the world, 
 Are not esteem'd above your life: 
 I would lose all, ay, sacrifice them all, 
 Here to this devil, to deliver you. 
 
 True friends visit us in prosperity, only 
 when invited; but in adversity they come 
 without invitation. 
 
 Lord 
 Avebury 
 in "The 
 Pleasures 
 of Life" 
 
 Tennyson 
 
 Henry 
 
 Ward 
 
 Beecher 
 
 Shake- 
 speare 
 "The 
 Merchant 
 ot Ven- 
 ice," Act 
 iv. Sc. 1 
 
 Theoph- 
 rastus
 
 76 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Alfred 
 Henry 
 Lewis 
 
 Watts- 
 Dunton 
 
 Emerson 
 
 Abraham 
 Lincoln 
 
 Publilius 
 Syrus 
 
 Author 
 Unknown 
 
 James 
 Russell 
 Lowell 
 
 McDon- 
 ald 
 
 Henry 
 
 David 
 
 Thoreau 
 
 Erasmus 
 
 Were I made to prognosticate the future 
 of a man, I would first put my ear to his 
 heart. 
 
 Life hath no joy like his who fights with Fate 
 Shoulder to shoulder with a stricken friend. 
 
 A day for toil, an hour for sport, 
 But for a friend is life too short. 
 
 He sticks through thick and thin — I ad- 
 mire such a man. 
 
 To bear a friend's faults is to make them 
 your own. 
 
 I expect to pass through this world but 
 once. Any good therefore that I can do, or 
 any kindness that I can show to any fellow 
 creature, let me do it now. Let me not de- 
 fer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this 
 way again. 
 
 Does it make a man worse than his character 's 
 
 such 
 As to make his friends love him (as you think) 
 
 too much? 
 
 A true friend is forever a friend. 
 
 I had three chairs in my house; one for 
 solitude, two for friendship, three for so- 
 ciety. 
 
 He does good to himself, who does good 
 to his friend.
 
 ON BEING A FRIEND 
 
 77 
 
 If a man does not make new acquaintances 
 as he advances through life, he will soon 
 find himself left alone. A man should keep 
 his friendship in constant repair. 
 
 Friend-making, everywhere, friend-finding soul, 
 Fit for the sunshine, so, it followed him. 
 
 Never do a wrong thing to make a friend 
 or to keep one. 
 
 But he that loves to be loved, 
 
 And in his deeds doth adore Heaven's power, 
 And is with pity moved; 
 
 The night gives rest to his heart, 
 The cheerful beams do awake his soul, 
 
 Revived in every part. 
 He lives a comfort to his friends, 
 And Heaven to him such blessing sends. 
 
 What 's the good of money if it ain't to 
 help a friend out with? I believe in friends, 
 I do. Here we go hopping around this 
 little world for a small time, and then that 's 
 done. S'pose you ain't got any real 
 friends for the trip? Rotten, I say. 
 
 Grieve not at doing well to friends 
 But rather, if thou hast not, grieve. 
 
 Always in preaching the parson had 
 looked for the face of his friend; always it 
 had been his mainstay, interpreter, stead- 
 fast advocate in every plea for perfection 
 of life. 
 
 Samuel 
 Johnson 
 
 Robert 
 Browning 
 
 Robert 
 E. Lee 
 
 Thomas 
 Campion 
 
 Henry 
 
 Wallace 
 
 Phillips 
 
 Plautus 
 
 James 
 Lane 
 
 Allen
 
 7S 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Phaedrus 
 
 Samuel 
 Johnson 
 
 Henry W. 
 Long- 
 fellow 
 
 Richard 
 Hovey 
 
 Alexan- 
 der Pope 
 
 Bruce 
 Hender- 
 son 
 
 Cicero 
 
 Michael 
 de Mont- 
 aigne on 
 "Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 The name of friend is common, but faith 
 in friendship is rare. 
 
 We may have many acquaintances, but 
 we can have few friends. 
 
 Yes, we must ever be friends, and of all who offer 
 
 you friendship, 
 Let me ever be the first, the truest, the nearest, 
 
 and the dearest. 
 
 This is my friend — through good or ill report 
 My friend. He who injures him by word or deed, 
 Were it but the thin film of an idle breath 
 Clouding the clear glass of a stainless soul, 
 He injures me. 
 
 Two friends, two bodies with one soul 
 inspired. 
 
 It is not so difficult to sacrifice principle 
 to oblige a friend as it is to give up one's 
 feeling of superiority over him. 
 
 He who looks into the face of a friend 
 beholds, as it were, a copy of himself. 
 
 Common friendship will admit of divi- 
 sion, one may love the beauty of this, the 
 good humor of that person, the liberality 
 of a third, the paternal affection of a fourth, 
 the fraternal love of a fifth, and so on. But 
 this friendship that possesses the whole 
 soul, and there rules and sways with an 
 absolute sovereignty, can admit of no rival.
 
 ON BEING A FRIEND 
 
 79 
 
 You have done me friendships infinite 
 and often. 
 
 The happiest moments my heart knows 
 are those in which it is pouring forth its 
 affections to a few esteemed characters. 
 
 A true heart admits of but one friend- 
 ship, as of one love; but in having that 
 friend I have a thousand. 
 
 A friend ought to shun no pain, to stand 
 his friend in stead. 
 
 So, if I live or die to serve my friend, 
 'T is for my love — 't is for my friend alone, 
 And not for any rate that friendship bears 
 In heaven or on earth. 
 
 It is no excuse for wrong doing that you 
 do wrong for the sake of a friend. 
 
 Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, 
 forsake not. 
 
 Let us be friends, and treat each other 
 like friends. 
 
 Whene'er we grasp the hands of those 
 
 We would have for ever nigh, 
 The flame of friendship burns and glows 
 
 In the warm, frank words "Good-bye." 
 
 The friendship between you and me I 
 will not compare to a chain; for that the 
 rains might rust, or the falling tree break. 
 
 Beau- 
 mont 
 Fletcher 
 
 Thomas 
 Jefferson 
 
 William 
 Wycherly 
 
 Richard 
 Edwards 
 
 George 
 Eliot in 
 "Spanish 
 Gypsy" 
 
 Cicero 
 
 Proberbs 
 of Solo- 
 mon 
 
 Lincoln 
 
 Eliza 
 Cook 
 
 George 
 Bancroft
 
 8o 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Shake- 
 speare 
 
 A friend whose thoughts most truly 
 labor to recompense your love. 
 
 Pope 
 
 Who ne'er knew joy but friendship might di- 
 vide. 
 
 Proberb 
 
 When a friend asks, there is no to-mor- 
 
 
 row. 
 
 Robert 
 
 The solitude of the most sublime idealist 
 
 Louis 
 Steven- 
 son 
 
 is broken in upon by other people's faces; 
 he sees a look in their eyes that corresponds 
 
 
 to something in his own heart; there comes 
 
 
 a tone in their voice which convicts him of 
 
 
 a startling weakness for his fellow crea- 
 
 
 tures. 
 
 James 
 Whit- 
 comb 
 Riley 
 
 Oh, the present is too sweet 
 
 To go on forever thus! 
 
 Who can say what waits for us? 
 
 Meeting, greeting, night and day, 
 
 Faring each the self-same way — 
 
 Still somewhere the path must end — 
 
 Reach your hand to me, my friend! 
 
 Henry 
 
 Ward 
 
 Beecher 
 
 Of all earthly music that which reaches 
 farthest into heaven is the beating of a 
 loving heart. 
 
 Gold- 
 smith 
 
 A kind and gentle heart he had, 
 To comfort friends and foes. 
 
 Rabbi 
 Hillel 
 
 Judge not thy friend until thou standest 
 in his place.
 
 ON BEING A FRIEND 
 
 81 
 
 What can be more encouraging than to 
 find the friend who was welcome at one 
 age welcome at another? 
 
 Of our mixed life two quests are given control: 
 
 Food for the body, friendship for the soul. 
 
 High as the spirit hovers o'er its flesh 
 
 The second quest is free, serene, and fresh. 
 
 O sorrow, that so oft the first betrays 
 
 This eager searching of celestial ways! 
 
 O bitter sorrow that the first can rise 
 
 And pluck his soaring brother from the skies! 
 
 And there is joy in musing how there can be, 
 
 These twain in some lives ruling tranquilly. 
 
 None may charge that I have smiled on 
 him in order to use him, or called him my 
 friend that I might make him do for me 
 the work of a servant. 
 
 Nothing is more friendly to a man than 
 a friend in need. 
 
 Cultivate the friendships of thy youth; 
 it is only in that generous time they are 
 formed. 
 
 Though in distant lands we sigh, 
 Parched beneath a hostile sky; 
 Though the deep between us rolls 
 Friendship shall unite our souls. 
 
 The desire to be beloved is ever restless 
 and unsatisfied; but the love that flows out 
 upon others is a perpetual wellspring from 
 on high. 
 
 Robert 
 Louis 
 Steven- 
 son 
 
 Arthur 
 Upson 
 
 James 
 
 Lane 
 
 Allen 
 
 Plautus 
 
 William 
 Thack- 
 eray 
 
 "When 
 Shall We 
 Three 
 Meet 
 Again" 
 
 Lydia 
 Maria 
 Child
 
 82 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Michael 
 de Mont- 
 aigne on 
 "Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 R. Barn- 
 field 
 
 James 
 Russell 
 Lowell 
 
 Latin 
 Proverb 
 
 Shake- 
 speare 
 
 What we commonly call friends and 
 friendships are nothing but acquaintance 
 and connection, contracted either by acci- 
 dent or upon some design, by means of 
 which there happens some little intercourse 
 betwixt our souls: but, in the friendship I 
 speak of, they mingle and melt into one 
 piece, with so universal a mixture that 
 there is left no more sign of the seam by 
 which they were first conjoined. 
 
 He that is thy friend indeed 
 He will help thee in thy need. 
 
 My friend, adown Life's valley, hand in hand, 
 With grateful change of grave and merry speech 
 Or song, our hearts unlocking each to each, 
 We '11 journey onward to the silent land; 
 And when stern Death shall loose that loving 
 
 band, 
 Taking in his cold hand a hand of ours, 
 The one shall strew the other's grave with flowers, 
 Nor shall his heart a moment be unmanned. 
 My friend and brother! if thou goest first, 
 Wilt thou no more revisit me below? 
 Yea, when my heart seems happy causelessly 
 And swells, not dreaming why, as it would burst 
 With joy unspeakable — my soul shall know 
 That thou, unseen, art bending over me. 
 
 I spare no cost so long as I serve my 
 friend. 
 
 I weigh my friend's affection with mine 
 own.
 
 ON BEING A FRIEND 
 
 83 
 
 A fellow feeling makes one wondrous 
 kind. 
 
 Friendship is the simple reflection of 
 souls by each other. 
 
 Statesman, yet friend to truth! of soul serene, 
 In action faithful, and in honor clear; 
 Who broke no promise, served no private end, 
 
 Who gained no title, and who lost no friend. 
 
 For when did friendship take 
 A breed for barren metal of his friend. 
 
 Greater love hath no man than this, that 
 a man lay down his life for his friends. 
 
 Absent or present, still to thee 
 
 My friend, what magic spells belong. 
 
 What do we live for if not to make life 
 less difficult to each other. 
 
 Man looks for man — not any man, but 
 the friend-man. 
 
 That he had "a genius for friendship" goes 
 without saying, for he was rich in the hu- 
 mility, the patience and the powers of trust, 
 which such a genius implies. Yet his love 
 had, too, the rarer and more strenuous 
 temper which requires "the common aspira- 
 tion," is jealous for a friend's growth, and 
 has the nerve to criticise. It is the measure 
 of what he felt friendship to be, that he has 
 defined religion in the terms of it. 
 
 David 
 Garrick 
 
 William 
 Alger 
 
 Alexan- 
 der Pope 
 
 Shake- 
 speare 
 
 Book of 
 John 
 
 Lord 
 Byron 
 
 George 
 Eliot 
 
 Parker 
 
 George 
 
 Adam 
 
 Smith of 
 
 Henry 
 
 Drum- 
 
 mond
 
 ON BEING BEFRIENDED
 
 ON BEING BEFRIENDED 
 
 87 
 
 I don't readily forget old friends, nor 
 easily stop loving anybody I have ever 
 loved. However, I learned long ago not to 
 expect more than three people to care for 
 me at a time — maybe I 'm extravagant in 
 saying three. 
 
 The parable of Pythagoras is dark, but 
 true, "Cor ne edito" — eat not the heart. 
 Certainly, if a man would give it a hard 
 phrase, those that want friends to open 
 themselves unto are cannibals of their own 
 hearts. 
 
 Companions I have enough, friends few. 
 
 Much as worthy friends add to the hap- 
 piness and value of life, we must in the 
 main depend upon ourselves, and every one 
 is his own best friend, or worst enemy. 
 
 Ah, friends! before my listening ear lies low, 
 While I can hear and understand, bestow 
 
 That gentle treatment and fond love, I pray. 
 
 The luster of whose late, though radiant ray 
 Would gild my grave with mocking light, I know, 
 
 If I should die. 
 
 Happy is he who wins friends in early 
 life by true affinities. He multiplies him- 
 self; he has more hands and feet than his 
 own, and other fortresses to flee into when 
 his own are dismantled by evil fortune, and 
 other hearts to throb with his joy. 
 
 James 
 
 Russell 
 
 Lowell 
 
 Francis 
 
 Bacon 
 
 "Of 
 
 Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 Pope 
 
 Lord 
 Avebury 
 
 Ella 
 
 Wheeler 
 
 Wilcox 
 
 Theodore 
 Munger 
 "On the 
 Thres- 
 hold"
 
 88 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Francis 
 
 Bacon 
 
 "Of 
 
 Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 Eliza 
 Cook 
 
 Victor 
 Hugo 
 
 Plutarch 
 
 in "Life 
 
 of Solon" 
 
 It is strange thing to behold what gross 
 errors and extreme absurdities many (es- 
 pecially of the greater sort) do commit for 
 the want of a friend to tell them of them. 
 
 Oh! as we prove the life-boat, so we often prove 
 
 a friend; 
 And those who promise least of all, are truest in 
 
 the end. 
 No figure-head of gold and red may mark them 
 
 as they go; 
 But how their honest planks will stand when 
 
 trouble-tempests blow. 
 They may not dance around us on the broad and 
 
 sunlit tide, 
 But 'twixt the gale and dark lee-shore we find 
 
 them close beside. 
 A cheer, then, for the noble breast that fears not 
 
 danger's post: 
 And, like the life-boat, proves a friend, when 
 
 friends are wanted most. 
 
 The greatest happiness of life is the con- 
 viction that we are loved, loved for our- 
 selves, or rather loved in spite of ourselves. 
 
 Anacharsis coming to Athens, knocked 
 at Solon's door, and told him that he, be- 
 ing a stranger, was come to be his guest, 
 and contract a friendship with him; and 
 Solon replying, "It is better to make 
 friends at home," Anacharsis replied, 
 "Then you that are at home make friend- 
 ship with me."
 
 ON BEING BEFRIENDED 
 
 89 
 
 There is more to do than one can do 
 alone, and an unfriended life will be poor 
 and meager. 
 
 Above our life we love a faithful friend. 
 
 Oh, I have roamed o'er many lands, 
 
 And many friends I 've met; 
 Not one fair scene or kindly smile 
 
 Can this fond heart forget. 
 
 A pleasant companion on the way is as 
 good as a carriage. 
 
 A friend is dearer than the light of 
 heaven; for it would be better for us that 
 the sun were extinguished, than that we 
 should be without friends. 
 
 If, as a mere matter of strength and re- 
 source, I were to face life with the choice 
 of either a fortune or friends, I would 
 choose the latter as more helpful. 
 
 True be thy sword, thy friend sincere! 
 
 We were friends from the first moment. 
 Sincere attachments usually begin at the 
 beginning. 
 
 My God, my Father and my Friend, 
 Do not forsake me at my end. 
 
 I account more strength in a true heart 
 than in a walled city. 
 
 Theodore 
 Munger 
 
 Marlowe 
 
 Thomas 
 Haynes 
 Bailey 
 
 Puhlilius 
 Syrus 
 
 Saint 
 
 Chrysos- 
 
 tom 
 
 Theodore 
 Munger 
 
 Scott 
 
 Joseph 
 Jefferson 
 
 Roscom- 
 mon 
 
 John 
 Lyle
 
 9° 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Saadi 
 
 Jean 
 
 de la 
 
 Bruyere 
 
 John 
 
 Vance 
 
 Cheney 
 
 Samuel 
 Johnson 
 
 Lord 
 Byron 
 
 Plautus 
 
 Porter 
 
 Cicero 
 "On 
 Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 Neither of my own free will cast I my- 
 self into the fire; for the chain of affection 
 was laid upon my neck. I was still at a 
 distance when the fire began to glow, nor 
 is this the moment that it was lighted up 
 within me. Who shall impute it to me as 
 a fault, that I am enchanted by my friend, 
 that I am content in casting myself at his 
 feet? 
 
 One faithful friend is enough for a man's 
 self; 't is much to meet with such an one. 
 
 A kind heart greets me here and there; 
 
 I hide from it my doubts and fears. 
 I trudge, and say the path is fair 
 
 Along the years. 
 
 What is a friend? One who supports 
 you and comforts you, while others do not. 
 
 How much thy friendship was above 
 Description's power of words. 
 
 He does nothing who consoles a despair- 
 ing man with his words ; he is a friend who 
 in a difficulty helps by deeds, where there 
 is need of deeds. 
 
 A friend is not so soon gotten as lost. 
 
 Nothing indeed yields a richer revenue 
 than kind affections, nothing gives more 
 delight than the interchange of friendly 
 care and offices.
 
 ON BEING BEFRIENDED 
 
 9i 
 
 Friends and acquaintances are the surest 
 passport to fortune. 
 
 Large was his bounty, and his soul serene, 
 Heaven did a recompense as largely send; 
 
 He gave to Misery all he had, a tear; 
 
 He gained from Heaven ('t was all he wished) 
 a friend. 
 
 Nothing is dearer to a man than a serv- 
 iceable friend. 
 
 Friendship enhances the luster of pros- 
 perity and by dividing and sharing adver- 
 sity lessens its burden. 
 
 I'm very lonely now, Mary, 
 
 For the poor make no new friends; 
 
 But oh, they love the better still 
 The few our Father sends! 
 
 Be a friend ; the rest will follow. 
 
 We attract hearts by the qualities we dis- 
 play; we retain them by the qualities we 
 possess. 
 
 To be rich in friends is to be poor in 
 nothing. 
 
 But other loads than this his own 
 
 One man is not well made to bear. 
 
 Besides, to each are his own friends, 
 To mourn with him, and show him care. 
 
 My dearest meed, a friend's esteem and 
 praise. 
 
 Schopen- 
 hauer 
 
 Thomas 
 Gray 
 
 Plautus 
 
 Cicero 
 "On 
 Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 Lady 
 Dufferin 
 
 Dickerson 
 Suard 
 
 Lilian 
 Whiting 
 
 Matthew 
 Arnold 
 
 Robert 
 Burns
 
 9 2 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Frederica 
 Bremer 
 
 Emerson 
 
 Elizabeth 
 Browning 
 
 French 
 Proverb 
 
 Robert 
 Burns 
 
 Phillips 
 Brooks 
 
 Saint 
 
 Chrysos- 
 
 tom 
 
 John 
 Holden 
 
 Honore 
 de Balzac 
 
 Emerson 
 
 That faithful friendship which never 
 changes, and which will accompany you 
 with its calm light through the whole of 
 life. 
 
 Friendship, like the immortality of the 
 soul, is too good to be believed. 
 
 Sweet the help 
 Of one we have helped. 
 
 A companion on the way is better than 
 money in the purse. 
 
 His honest, sonsie, baws'nt face 
 Aye got him friends in ilka place. 
 
 There is as yet no culture, no method of 
 progress known to men, that is so rich 
 and complete as that which is ministered 
 by a truly great friendship. 
 
 I have known one who used to beg of 
 holy men to pray, first for his friend and 
 then for himself. 
 
 Who takes a fool to be his friend 
 Will stay a fool until the end. 
 
 Friendship knows nothing of bankrupt 
 sentiment and collapsed joys; love, after 
 giving more than it has, ends by giving 
 less than it receives. 
 
 O, be my friend, and teach me to be 
 thine.
 
 ON BEING BEFRIENDED 
 
 93 
 
 I believe that more breaches of friend- 
 ship and love have been created, and more 
 hatred cemented by needless criticism than 
 by any one other thing. 
 
 Great souls by instinct to each other turn, 
 Demand alliance, and in friendship burn. 
 
 A man, be the heavens ever praised, is 
 sufficient for himself; yet were ten men, 
 united in love, capable of being and of do- 
 ing what ten thousand singly would fail 
 in. Infinite is the help man can yield to 
 man. 
 
 And tho' his foes speak ill of him, 
 He was a friend to me. 
 
 It is sublime to feel and say of another, 
 I need never meet, or speak or write to him ; 
 we need not reinforce ourselves or send 
 tokens of remembrance; I rely on him as 
 on myself; if he did thus and thus, I know 
 it was right. 
 
 Charity is love, and love charity. God 
 grant us all therein to be friended! 
 
 And thou, my friend, whose gentle love 
 
 Yet thrills my bosom's chords, 
 How much thy friendship was above 
 
 Description's power of words. 
 
 Life should be fortified by many friend- 
 ships. 
 
 Sir 
 
 Arthur 
 
 Helps 
 
 Joseph 
 Addison 
 
 Thomas 
 Carlyle 
 in "Sar- 
 tor Re- 
 sartus" 
 
 Alfred 
 Tennyson 
 
 Ralph 
 Waldo 
 Emerson 
 
 Usk's 
 Testa- 
 ment 
 
 Lord 
 Byron 
 
 Sydney 
 Smith
 
 VI 
 THE ADVICE OF FRIENDS
 
 THE ADVICE OF FRIENDS 
 
 97 
 
 Advice can hardly come from any other 
 than a friend when the question involves 
 grave issues. A stranger is not sufficiently 
 interested, a relative is blinded by excess 
 of love, but a friend's advice is tempered 
 by affection, while it is not over-ruled by 
 the imperativeness of natural instinct. 
 There is much wisdom in the every-day 
 words "As a friend I advise you," for no 
 other can advise so well. 
 
 Too true to flatter, and too kind to sneer, 
 And only just when seemingly severe; 
 So gently blending courtesy and art, 
 That wisdom's lips seemed borrowing friendship's 
 heart. 
 
 Animals are such agreeable friends— 
 they ask no questions, they pass no criti- 
 cisms. 
 
 If it is abuse, why, one is always sure to 
 hear it from one damned good-natured 
 friend or another. 
 
 Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: 
 so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by 
 hearty counsel. 
 
 Softening harsh words in friendship's 
 gentle tone. 
 
 The best preservative to keep the mind 
 in health is the faithful admonition of a 
 friend. 
 
 Theodore 
 Munger 
 "On the 
 Thres- 
 hold" 
 
 Oliver 
 
 Wendell 
 
 Holmes 
 
 George 
 Eliot 
 
 Richard 
 Sheridan 
 
 Proberhs 
 
 Shelley 
 
 Francis 
 Bacon
 
 98 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Edwarfl 
 
 Sandford 
 
 Martin 
 
 With disparity of means and the other 
 disparities, most of which (except sex) 
 impinge on it somewhere, comes the great 
 daily question of associates. The world, 
 luckily, is full of people of different genders 
 and manners and unequal fortunes and abil- 
 ities, all of whom are ours to know and play 
 with if we can. But we cannot play with 
 them all; they are too many. We must 
 choose and be chosen. Some measure of 
 selection becomes inevitable, and of course 
 selection implies some degree of exclusion. 
 Tastes differ, and a preference for one per- 
 son or one lot of people does not necessarily 
 imply disparagement of others. Propin- 
 quity, associations, relationship, and various 
 circumstances determine who our friends 
 shall be, and the advantage of having desir- 
 able and profitable friends is so obvious 
 that the most careless observer cannot fail 
 to discern it. 
 
 Indeed, suitable acquaintances are so 
 good to have that appreciation of the ad- 
 vantage of having them leads some of us 
 into the serious mistake of being over par- 
 ticular as to whom we shall know. The de- 
 sire for the company of the best people we 
 can get at — our betters if possible — is an 
 aspiration that in itself is creditable to our 
 intelligence, but we fall into a serious mis- 
 take when we let it go so far as to prompt
 
 THE ADVICE OF FRIENDS 
 
 99 
 
 us to limit our acquaintances to just the 
 right people and no others. To know many 
 people and many kinds of people is in itself 
 a very advantageous thing; for the more 
 people we know, the better chance we have 
 to learn whom we like and whom we can 
 help and who can help us. 
 
 The people — the great mass of the people 
 — are the fountain of honor and the main 
 source of most advantages. The wise 
 course is to get in touch with as many of 
 them as is reasonably convenient. There 
 are a thousand relationships in life besides 
 dinner-giving relations that are worth while ; 
 there are a thousand phases of friendship 
 that are worth cultivating besides the kind 
 that flourishes between persons of equal so- 
 cial condition. In every walk of life there 
 are the traits that invite and repay friend- 
 ship. There is a common ground, if one's 
 feet can only find it, on which all true people 
 can stand in a substantial equality, an equal- 
 ity of the spirit and the affections. 
 
 He had a store 
 Of friends and fortune once, as we could guess 
 From his nice habits and his gentleness. 
 
 Percy 
 
 Bysshe 
 
 Shelley 
 
 Friendship must be something else than 
 a society for mutual improvement — indeed, 
 it must only be that by the way, and to some 
 extent unconsciously. 
 
 Robert 
 Louis 
 Steven- 
 son
 
 IOO 
 
 Sir 
 
 Arthur 
 
 Helps 
 
 Publilius 
 Syrus 
 
 Francis 
 Bacon 
 "Of 
 Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Edward 
 Bulwer 
 Lytton 
 
 Proverb 
 
 Henry 
 
 David 
 
 Thoreau 
 
 in "Early 
 
 Spring" 
 
 You seldom need wait for the written 
 life of a man to hear about his weaknesses, 
 or what are supposed to be such, if you 
 know his intimate friends or meet him in 
 company with them. 
 
 Admonish your friends in private; praise 
 them in public. 
 
 Heraclitus saith well, in one of his enig- 
 mas, "Dry light is ever the best." And 
 certain it is that the light that a man re- 
 ceiveth by counsel from another is drier 
 and purer than that which cometh from 
 his own understanding and judgment 
 which is ever infused and drenched in his 
 affections and customs. 
 
 There is no man so friendless but what 
 he can find a friend sincere enough to tell 
 him disagreeable truths. 
 
 A friend's frown is better than a fool's 
 smile. 
 
 A friend advises by his whole behavior, 
 and never condescends to particulars. An- 
 other chides away a fault, he loves it away. 
 While he see the other's error he is silently 
 conscious of it, and only the more loves 
 truth itself, and assists his friend in loving 
 it, till the fault is expelled and gently ex- 
 tinguished.
 
 THE ADVICE OF FRIENDS 
 
 IOI 
 
 Before giving advice we must have se- 
 cured its acceptance, rather, have made it 
 desired. 
 
 It is well and right, indeed to be courte- 
 ous and considerate to every one with 
 whom we are brought into contact, but to 
 choose them as real friends is another mat- 
 ter. 
 
 I speak to thee in Friendship's name. 
 
 Friends require to be advised and re- 
 proved, and such treatment, when it is 
 kindly, should be taken in a friendly spirit. 
 
 He that gives advice to his friend and 
 exacts obedience to it, does not the kind- 
 ness and ingenuity of a friend, but the 
 office and pertness of a school-master. 
 
 Friendship e'er totters on the brink, 
 With friends who say just what they think; 
 They end, who give advice unsought, 
 In saying what they never thought. 
 
 There is as much difference between the 
 counsel that a friend giveth and that a man 
 giveth himself as there is between the 
 counsel of a friend and a flatterer; for 
 there is no such flatterer as a man's self, 
 and there is no such remedy against flat- 
 tery of a man's self as the liberty of a 
 friend. 
 
 AmiePs 
 Journal 
 
 Lord 
 Avetmry 
 
 Moore 
 
 Cicero 
 "On 
 Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 Jeremy 
 Taylor 
 
 Christo- 
 pher 
 Bannister 
 
 Francis 
 Bacon 
 "Of 
 
 Friend- 
 ship"
 
 VII 
 OUR FRIENDS THE ENEMY
 
 OUR FRIENDS THE ENEMY 
 
 God preserve me from my friends; from 
 my enemies I will preserve myself. 
 
 When fails our dearest friend, 
 
 There may be refuge with our direst foe. 
 
 It is always safe to learn, even from our 
 enemies; seldom safe to venture to instruct 
 even our friends. 
 
 Let us not talk ill of our enemies. They 
 only never deceive us. 
 
 Ye have heard that it hath been said, 
 Thou shalt love thy neighbor and hate thine 
 enemy. But I say unto you, Love your 
 enemies, bless them that curse you, do 
 good to them that hate you, and pray for 
 them which despitefully use you, and per- 
 secute you; that you may be the children 
 of your Father which is in heaven: for He 
 maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on 
 the good, and sendeth rain on the just and 
 on the unjust. For if ye love them which 
 love you, what reward have ye? Do not 
 even the publicans the same? And if ye 
 salute your brethren only, what do ye more 
 than others? Do not even the publicans 
 so? 
 
 If thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he 
 thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou 
 shalt heap coals of fire on his head. 
 
 ios 
 
 Italian 
 Proverb 
 
 James S. 
 Knowles 
 
 Caleb C. 
 Colton 
 
 Arsene 
 Houssaye 
 
 Book of 
 Matthew 
 Chap- 
 ter V 
 
 Romans 
 II
 
 io6 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Alain 
 
 Rene 
 
 Lesago 
 
 John 
 Gay 
 
 Proverbs 
 
 Alain 
 Chartier 
 
 Lord 
 
 Avebury 
 
 Edward 
 Young 
 
 Johann 
 Schiller 
 
 Hindoo 
 Proverb 
 
 George 
 Channing 
 "New 
 Moral- 
 ity" 
 
 Cato 
 
 A man who does not love sincerely sets 
 his face against the distinguishing mark 
 between a friend and a flatterer. 
 
 An open foe may prove a curse, 
 But a pretended friend is worse. 
 
 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but 
 the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. 
 
 Love springs to love, and knows at once his 
 
 friends. 
 The man who hates must cast contentment forth; 
 Who has not worth or friends is nothing worth. 
 
 Unfortunately, while there are few great 
 friends, there is no little enemy. 
 
 A foe to God was ne'er true friend to man, 
 Some sinister intent taints all he does. 
 
 Dear is my friend, — yet from my foe as from my 
 
 friend, comes good; 
 My friend shows what I can do, and my foe what 
 
 I should. 
 
 The greatest enmity is better than un- 
 certain friendship. 
 
 Give me the avowed, the erect, the manly foe; 
 Bold I can meet, perhaps may turn his blow; 
 But of all plagues, good Heaven, thy wrath can 
 
 send, 
 Save, save, oh! save me from the Candid Friend! 
 
 It is better to have bitter foes than 
 friends too sweet.
 
 VIII 
 FRIENDS AND ENEMIES
 
 FRIENDS AND ENEMIES 
 
 109 
 
 It is a difficult task to have all men for 
 your friends: it is sufficient not to have 
 enemies. 
 
 A bitter heart that bides its time and 
 bites. 
 
 The world is large when its weary leagues two 
 
 loving hearts divide; 
 But the world is small when your enemy is loose 
 
 on the other side. 
 
 Fellowship is heaven, and lack of fellow- 
 ship is hell; fellowship is life, and lack of 
 fellowship is death; and the deeds that ye 
 do upon earth, it is for fellowship's sake 
 that ye do them. 
 
 He will never have true friends who is 
 afraid of making enemies. 
 
 Better friends at a distance than neigh- 
 bors and enemies. 
 
 One enemy can do more hurt than ten 
 friends can do good. 
 
 Trust not yourself; but your defects to know, 
 Make use of every friend — and every foe. 
 
 Friends are as dangerous as enemies. 
 
 Better to have a loving friend 
 Than ten admiring foes. 
 
 Invite the man that loves thee to a feast, 
 but let alone thine enemy. 
 
 Seneca 
 
 Robert 
 Browning 
 
 John 
 
 Boyle 
 
 O'Reilly 
 
 William 
 Morris 
 
 William 
 Hazlitt 
 
 Italian 
 Proverb 
 
 Jonathan 
 Swift 
 
 Alexan- 
 der Pope 
 
 De 
 
 Quincy 
 
 George 
 
 Macdon- 
 
 ald 
 
 Hesiod
 
 no 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 George 
 Chap- 
 man 
 
 Davidson 
 
 Lord 
 Avebury 
 
 Nicholas 
 Breton 
 
 Cicero 
 
 Edmund 
 Burke 
 
 La Fon- 
 taine 
 
 Shakes- 
 peare 
 
 Lord 
 Byron 
 
 Theoph- 
 rastus 
 
 Flatterers look like friends, as wolves 
 like dogs. 
 
 No enemy 
 Is half so fatal as a friend estranged. 
 
 It has been said that it is wise always to 
 treat a friend remembering that he may 
 become an enemy, and an enemy remem- 
 bering that he may become a friend; and 
 whate'er may be thought of the first part 
 of the adage, there is certainly much wis- 
 dom in the latter. 
 
 I wish my deadly foe no worse 
 
 Than want of friends, and empty purse. 
 
 Our enmities mortal, our friendships 
 eternal. 
 
 Angry friendship is sometimes as bad as 
 calm enmity. 
 
 An ignorant friend is dangerous e'er; 
 A foe who is wise I greatly prefer. 
 
 An thou wilt be friends, be friends: an 
 thou wilt not, why, then be enemies. 
 
 Here 's a sigh to those who love me, 
 And a smile to those who hate; 
 
 And, whatever sky's above me, 
 Here 's a heart for every fate. 
 
 A friend cannot be known in prosperity, 
 and an enemy cannot be hidden in adver- 
 sity.
 
 FRIENDS AND ENEMIES 
 
 in 
 
 Better new friend than old foe. 
 
 Foes sometimes befriend us more, our blacker 
 deeds objecting, 
 
 Than th' obsequious bosom guest, with false re- 
 spect affecting, 
 
 Friendship is the Glass of Truth, our hidden stains 
 detecting. 
 
 The greatest enemy to man is man. 
 
 Greatly his foes he dreads, but more his friends; 
 He hurts me most who lavishly commends. 
 
 Spare to us our friends, soften to us our 
 enemies. 
 
 Some great misfortune to portend, 
 No enemy can match a friend. 
 
 From our enemies we expect evil treat- 
 ment, but when our friends abandon us 
 the firmest minds find it hard to resist. 
 
 The man who hates must cast content- 
 ment forth. 
 
 Mutual love brings mutual delight, — 
 
 Brings beauty, life,— for love is life, hate death. 
 
 If thou neglectest thy love to thy neigh- 
 bor, in vain thou professest thy love to 
 God. 
 
 Many people seem to take more pains 
 and more pleasure in making enemies than 
 in making friends. 
 
 Spenser 
 
 Thomas 
 Campion 
 
 Burton 
 
 Charles 
 Churchill 
 
 Steven- 
 son 
 
 Jonathan 
 Swift 
 
 Boling- 
 brook's 
 Letters 
 
 Alain 
 Chartier 
 
 Richard 
 Dana 
 
 Francis 
 Quarles 
 
 Lord 
 Avebury
 
 112 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Oliver 
 
 Wendell 
 
 Holmes 
 
 John 
 Holden 
 
 Benjamin 
 Disraeli 
 
 Burns 
 
 Publilius 
 Syrus 
 
 AH Ben 
 
 Abu 
 
 Taheb 
 
 Shakes- 
 peare 
 
 Byron 
 
 Jeremy 
 Taylor 
 
 James 
 Russell 
 Lowell 
 
 Shake- 
 speare 
 
 Benjamin 
 Franklin 
 
 Except in cases of necessity, which are 
 rare, leave your friend to learn unpleasant 
 truths from his enemies; they are ready 
 enough to tell them. 
 
 Disloyalty, that hatefullest of sins, 
 Still teaches us where loyalty begins. 
 
 Though lions to their enemies they were 
 lambs to their friends. 
 
 The friend of man, to vice a foe. 
 
 His must be a very wretched fortune 
 who has no enemy. 
 
 He who has a thousand friends, 
 
 Has not a friend to spare, 
 And he who has one enemy 
 
 Will meet him everywhere. 
 
 Friendly counsel cuts off many foes. 
 
 I force no friend, I fear no foe. 
 
 Choose for your friend him that is wise 
 and good. 
 
 Happy long life with honor at the close, 
 Friends' painless tears, the softened thought of 
 foes. 
 
 Friendless, hopeless. 
 
 Do good to thy friend to keep him, to 
 thy enemy to gain him.
 
 IX 
 MEN AND WOMEN FRIENDS
 
 MEN AND WOMEN FRIENDS 
 
 "5 
 
 It is a wonderful advantage to a man, in 
 every pursuit or avocation, to secure an ad- 
 viser in a sensible woman. In woman 
 there is at once a subtle delicacy of tact, 
 and a plain soundness of judgment, which 
 are rarely combined to an equal degree in 
 man. A woman, if she be really your 
 friend, will have a sensitive regard for your 
 character, honor, repute. She will seldom 
 counsel you to do a shabby thing; for a 
 woman friend desires to be proud of you. 
 At the same time her constitutional timid- 
 ity makes her more cautious than your male 
 friend. She, therefore, seldom counsels 
 you to do an imprudent thing. A man's 
 best female friend is a wife of good sense 
 and good heart, whom he loves, and who 
 loves him. If he have that, he need not 
 seek elsewhere. But supposing the man 
 be without such a helpmate, female friend- 
 ship he must have, or his intellect will be 
 without a garden, and there will be many 
 an unheeded gap even in its strongest 
 fence. 
 
 Edward 
 
 Bulwer 
 
 Lytton 
 
 Men have known 
 No fairer friendship than the fair have shown. 
 
 A man should not repudiate the friend- 
 ship of a woman, because it may lead to 
 harm: he should cherish the friendship 
 and beware of the harm. 
 
 William 
 Cowper 
 
 William 
 Alger
 
 u6 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Sydney 
 Smith 
 
 Roche- 
 pedre 
 
 Louis 
 
 Mezieres 
 
 Mercier 
 
 Margaret 
 Deland 
 
 Thoreau 
 
 Author 
 Unknown 
 
 Coleridge 
 
 William 
 Alger 
 
 Emanuel 
 
 von 
 
 Geibel 
 
 Samuel 
 Johnson 
 
 It is great happiness to form a sincere 
 friendship with a woman. 
 
 The friendship of a man is often a sup- 
 port; that of a woman is always a consola- 
 tion. 
 
 A woman's love is often a misfortune; 
 her friendship is always a boon. 
 
 Women sometimes deceive the lover, 
 never the friend. 
 
 Curious that this topic of friendship is 
 so especially alluring to a man and woman 
 between whom friendship is impossible. 
 
 Friendship is no respecter of sex, and 
 perhaps it is more rare between the sexes 
 than between two of the same sex. 
 
 Friendship that begins between a man 
 and a woman will soon change its name. 
 
 A woman's friendship borders more 
 closely on love than a man's. 
 
 Women need friendship more than men, 
 because they are less self-sufficing. 
 
 Love will obtain and possess; friendship 
 makes sacrifices, but asks nothing. 
 
 Admiration and love are like being intox- 
 icated with champagne; judgment and 
 friendship like being enlivened.
 
 MEN AND WOMEN FRIENDS 
 
 117 
 
 The sympathetic friendship of a beauti- 
 ful woman appeased instead of inflaming 
 him. 
 
 A woman's friendship is, as a rule, the 
 legacy of love or the alms of indifference. 
 
 Female friendship, indeed, is to a man 
 the bulwark, sweetener, ornament, of his 
 existence. To his mental culture it is in- 
 valuable: without it all his knowledge of 
 books will never give him knowledge of 
 the world. 
 
 The only true and firm friendship is that 
 between man and woman, because it is the 
 only one free from all possible competition. 
 
 What distinguishes this platonic affec- 
 tion from ordinary friendship, is, that the 
 magic of imagination, with a religious em- 
 phasis is in it. 
 
 One should choose for a wife only such 
 a woman as he would choose for a friend, 
 were she a man. 
 
 I have always laid it down as a maxim, 
 and found it justified by experience, that a 
 man and a woman make far better friend- 
 ships than can exist between two of the 
 same sex ; but with this condition, that they 
 never have made, or are to make, love with 
 each other. 
 
 Sainte 
 Beuve 
 
 Author 
 Unknown 
 
 Michael 
 de Mon- 
 taigne 
 
 Augusta 
 Comte 
 
 William 
 Alger 
 
 Joseph 
 Joubert 
 
 Lord 
 Byron
 
 X 
 
 FRIENDSHIPS OF WOMEN
 
 FRIENDSHIPS OF WOMEN 
 
 121 
 
 The reason why so few women are 
 touched by friendship is that they find it 
 dull when they have experienced love. 
 
 It is a common observation that differ- 
 ences of taste, understanding, and disposi- 
 tion are no impediments to friendship, and 
 that the closest intimacies often exist be- 
 tween minds each of which supplies what 
 is wanting in the other. Lady Churchill 
 was loved and even worshipped by Anne. 
 The princess could not live apart from the 
 object of her romantic fondness. She mar- 
 ried, and was a faithful and even an affec- 
 tionate wife; but Prince George, a dull 
 man, whose chief pleasures were derived 
 from his dinner and his bottle, acquired 
 over her no influence comparable to that 
 exercised by her female friend, and soon 
 gave himself up with stupid patience to the 
 dominion of that vehement and command- 
 ing spirit by which his wife was governed. 
 
 A woman friend! He that believes that weakness 
 Steers in a stormy night without a compass. 
 
 The men are the occasion the women do 
 not love each other. 
 
 To speak the truth, I never yet knew a 
 tolerable woman to be fond of her sex. 
 
 There is no friendship equal to that of a 
 woman. 
 
 Francois 
 de la 
 Roche- 
 foucauld 
 
 Thomas 
 Babing- 
 ton Mac- 
 auley in 
 'History 
 of Eng- 
 land" 
 
 Fletcher 
 
 Jean 
 de la 
 Bruyere 
 
 Jonathan 
 Swift 
 
 Alger
 
 122 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 William 
 Alger in 
 "Friend- 
 ship of 
 Women" 
 
 Author 
 Unknown 
 
 Shake- 
 speare in 
 "A Mid- 
 summer 
 Night's 
 Dream" 
 
 Blanche 
 Howard 
 
 Tennyson 
 
 Charles 
 Deems 
 
 Samuel 
 Johnson 
 
 In searching for the friendships of 
 women, it is difficult at first to find strik- 
 ing examples. Their lives are so private, 
 their dispositions are so modest, their ex- 
 periences have been so little noticed by 
 history, that the annals of the feminine 
 heart are for. the most part a secret chapter. 
 
 With women, friendship ends when 
 rivalry begins. 
 
 Is all the counsel that we two have shared, 
 
 The sister's vows, the hours that we have spent, 
 
 When we have chid the hasty-footed time 
 
 For parting us, O! is all forgot? 
 
 All school days' friendship, childhood innocence? 
 
 And will you rend our ancient love asunder, 
 
 To join with men in scorning your poor friend? 
 
 If you have derived your ideas on the 
 subject from books only, it is possible that 
 you have not the faintest conception what 
 a good, honest, and substantial thing a 
 young woman's friendship really is. 
 
 Two women faster welded in one love 
 Than pairs of wedlock. 
 
 When a man loves a woman it is of 
 nature; when a woman loves a woman, it 
 is of grace, — the grace that woman makes 
 by her loveliness. 
 
 The enduring elegance of female friend- 
 ship.
 
 FRIENDSHIPS OF WOMEN 
 
 123 
 
 Both women returned to those treacher- 
 ously temporizing courses which are so at- 
 tractive to most of them — an excellent sys- 
 tem between men and women, but fatally 
 unsafe between women alone. 
 
 With women these relations may be sen- 
 timental, foolish, and fickle; but they are 
 honest, free from secondary motives of in- 
 terest, and infinitely more respectable than 
 the time-serving, place-hunting, dinner- 
 seeking devotion which Messrs. Tape and 
 Tadpole choose to denominate friendship. 
 
 No friendship is so cordial or so delicious 
 as that of girl for girl. 
 
 On all her days let health and peace attend, 
 May she ne'er want, nor ever lose, a friend. 
 
 It is the fashion to deride female friend- 
 ship, to look with scorn on those who pro- 
 fess it. There is always to me a doubt of 
 the warmth, the strength, the purity of her 
 feelings, when a girl merges into woman- 
 hood looking down on female friendship as 
 romance and folly. 
 
 Oh, the pious friendship of the female 
 sex! More tender, more enduring than all 
 the vain and empty vows of men, whether 
 professing love to us or mutual faith to an- 
 other. 
 
 Honore 
 de Balzac 
 
 Dinah 
 
 Muloch 
 
 Landor 
 
 George 
 Lyttleton 
 
 Grace 
 Aguilar 
 
 William 
 Congreve
 
 124 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Dinah 
 Muloch 
 
 Alphonse 
 Karr 
 
 Ruth to 
 Naomi in 
 the Book 
 
 of Ruth 
 
 Jean 
 
 Duclos 
 
 William 
 Alger 
 
 Author 
 Unknown 
 
 Lord 
 Lyttleton 
 
 Jean 
 
 de la 
 
 Bruyere 
 
 The friendships of women are much 
 more common than those of men; but 
 rarely or never, so firm, so just, or so en- 
 during. 
 
 Friendship between two women is al- 
 ways a plot against each other. 
 
 Intreat me not to leave thee, nor to re- 
 turn from following after thee: for whither 
 thou goest I will go ; and where thou lodg- 
 est, I will lodge; thy people shall be my 
 people, and thy God my God. Where thou 
 diest, I will die and there will I be buried; 
 the Lord do so to me and more also, if 
 aught but death part thee and me. 
 
 Women have no worse enemies than 
 women. 
 
 Women are armed with microscopes to 
 see all the little defects and dissimilarities 
 which can irritate and injure their friend- 
 ships. 
 
 Friendships of women are 
 wherein they stick their pins. 
 
 cushions 
 
 Women, like princes, find few real 
 friends. 
 
 In love women exceed the generality of 
 men, but in friendship we have the ad- 
 vantage.
 
 FRIENDSHIPS OF WOMEN 
 
 Women are naturally less selfish and 
 more sympathetic than men. They have 
 more affection to bestow, greater need of 
 sympathy, and therefore are more sure, in 
 the absence of love, to seek friendship. 
 
 She that asks 
 Her dear five hundred friends, contemns them all, 
 And hates their coming. 
 
 There is nothing fixed, enduring, vital, in 
 the feelings of women; their attachments 
 to each other are so many pretty bows of 
 ribbon. I notice these light affections in 
 all female friends. Can we not then love 
 each other differently. 
 
 And one shall give, perchance hath given, 
 
 What only is not love. 
 Friendship, oh, such as saints in heaven 
 
 Rain on us from above. 
 
 We need the friendship of a man in great 
 trials, of a woman in the affairs of every- 
 day life. 
 
 Dear friend, what can I do 
 To prove the warm affection I 've always felt for 
 you? 
 
 What woman who possessed a ring con- 
 ferring invisibility on its wearer, would 
 dare to put it on and move about among — 
 her friends. 
 
 125 
 
 William 
 Alger 
 
 William 
 Cowper 
 
 Eugenie 
 de Guerin 
 
 Felicia 
 Hemans 
 
 Antoine 
 Thomas 
 
 Mary 
 Howitt 
 
 William 
 Alger
 
 XI 
 FRIENDS AND RELATIONS
 
 FRIENDS AND RELATIONS 
 
 129 
 
 Friendship, in its full sense, has prece- 
 dence of kinship in this particular that the 
 good will may be taken away from kinship, 
 not from friendship, for when good will is 
 removed, friendship loses its name, while 
 that of kinship remains. 
 
 None such true friends, none so sweet life, 
 As that between the man and wife. 
 
 Thy affection, duty, and love to me was 
 that of a friend as well as a child. 
 
 Whatever the degree of kinship, without 
 friendship added to it, it becomes worse 
 than foolishness. Conceive of a happy 
 marriage, a proud parent, a loving child, 
 without a firm foundation of friendship — 
 it is impossible! 
 
 Better one true friend than a host of 
 kinsfolk. 
 
 Happy the man who has persuaded a 
 maiden into loving wifehood; thrice happy 
 the husband who has persuaded his wife 
 into a firm friendship! 
 
 Friends agree best at a distance. By 
 friends here is meant relations. 
 
 A child may be an affliction, or a parent 
 a misfortune; but a friend is a man's own 
 fault. 
 
 Cicero 
 "On 
 Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 Thomas 
 Campion 
 
 John 
 Evelyn 
 
 Robert L. 
 Lorimer 
 
 Italian 
 Proverb 
 
 Frances 
 F. Graves 
 
 Scotch 
 Proverb 
 
 Adapted 
 from 
 George 
 Ade
 
 ^o 
 
 Eugenie 
 
 de 
 
 Guerin 
 
 Old 
 Proverb 
 
 Lord 
 Byron 
 to his 
 Sister 
 
 Author 
 Unknown 
 
 William 
 Alger 
 
 Honore 
 de Balzac 
 
 Cicero 
 
 William 
 Wirt 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Oh, how sweet a name, and how full of 
 tenderness, is that of brother. 
 
 A good friend is better than a near rela- 
 tion. 
 
 Though human, thou didst not deceive me, 
 
 Though woman, thou didst not forsake; 
 Though loved, thou forborest to grieve me, 
 
 Though slandered, thou never couldst shake, 
 Though trusted, thou didst not disclaim me, 
 
 Though parted, it was not to fly, 
 Though watchful, 't was not to defame me, 
 
 Nor mute, that the world might belie. 
 
 It is chance that makes brothers, but 
 hearts that make friends. 
 
 Innumerable aunts and nephews, nieces 
 and uncles, cousins and other branches of 
 kindred, have found in their close relation- 
 ship, with the consequent meetings, a for- 
 tunate occasion for forming close and 
 blessed friendships. 
 
 Between persons perpetually in one an- 
 other's company dislike or affection in- 
 creases daily. 
 
 Friendship excels relationship. 
 
 To me she was not only the companion 
 of my studies, but the sweetener of my 
 toils.
 
 FRIENDS AND RELATIONS 
 
 131 
 
 I have ever sought a friendship so strong 
 and earnest that only death could break it; 
 a happiness which I had in my brother. 
 
 I hope I do not break the fifth com- 
 mandment, if I conceive I may love my 
 friend before the nearest of my blood. 
 
 My sister, my sweet sister! if a name 
 Dearer and purer were, it should be thine. 
 
 A friend loveth at all times, and a brother 
 is born for adversity. 
 
 There is in friendship something of all 
 relations, and something above them all. 
 It is the golden thread that ties the hearts 
 of all the world. 
 
 Thou to me didst ever show 
 Kindest affection; and would oft-times lend 
 An ear to the desponding love-sick lay, 
 Weeping my sorrows with me, who repay 
 But ill the mighty debt of love I owe, 
 Mary, to thee, my sister and my friend. 
 
 A man can speak to his son but as a 
 father, to his wife but as a husband; to his 
 enemy but upon terms; whereas a friend 
 may speak as the case requires, and not as 
 it sorteth with the person. 
 
 Better be a neighbor that is near than a 
 brother far off. 
 
 Eugenie 
 de Guerin 
 
 Sir 
 
 Thomas 
 
 Browne 
 
 Lord 
 Byron 
 
 Proverbs 
 
 John 
 Evelyn 
 
 Charles 
 Lamb 
 to his 
 Sister 
 
 Francis 
 Bacon on 
 "Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 Proverbs
 
 XII 
 FRIENDSHIPS THAT FAIL
 
 FRIENDSHIPS THAT FAIL 
 
 i3S 
 
 It is a difficult thing to replace true 
 friends. 
 
 Seneca 
 
 All are not friends that speak us fair. 
 
 Proverb 
 
 For indeed, if you are rich you will have 
 many friends, but if you become poor you 
 will have few, and will no longer be the 
 same excellent man that you were. 
 
 Theognis 
 
 Friends are lost by calling often and call- 
 ing seldom. 
 
 Proverb 
 
 Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky, 
 That dost not bite so nigh 
 
 As benefits forgot: 
 Though thou the waters warp, 
 Thy sting is not so sharp 
 
 As friend remembered not. 
 
 Shake- 
 speare in 
 "As You 
 Like It," 
 Act ii, 
 Sc.7 
 
 There is a friend, which is only a friend 
 in name. 
 
 Ecclesias- 
 ticus 
 
 It is a mere and miserable solitude to 
 want true friends, without which the world 
 is but a wilderness. 
 
 Francis 
 Bacon 
 
 Friendship is a vase which, when it is 
 flawed by heat of violence or accident, may 
 as well be broken at once; it can never be 
 trusted again. 
 
 Walter 
 Savage 
 Landor 
 
 The wretched have no friends. 
 
 Dryden 
 
 Near friends, falling out, never reunite 
 cordially. 
 
 Thomas 
 Jefferson
 
 136 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Cicero in 
 
 "Ad Her- 
 
 ennium" 
 
 Eva Tre- 
 zevant 
 
 Thomas 
 Moore 
 
 Spanish 
 Proverb 
 
 Lord 
 Byron 
 
 Italian 
 Proverb 
 
 Sir John 
 Vanbrugh 
 
 George 
 Prentice 
 
 The swallows art at hand in the summer 
 time, but in cold weather they are driven 
 away. So false friends are at hand in life's 
 clear weather; but as soon as they see the 
 winter of fortune, they all fly away. 
 
 A little love has destroyed many a great 
 friendship. 
 
 Alas! how light a cause may move 
 
 Dissension between two hearts that love! 
 
 Hearts that the world in vain had tried, 
 
 And sorrow but more closely tied; 
 
 That stood the storm when waves were rough, 
 
 Yet in a sunny hour fell off, 
 
 Like ships that have gone down at sea, 
 
 When heaven was all tranquility. 
 
 Broken friendship may be soldered, but 
 never made sound. 
 
 And such the change the heart displays, 
 
 So frail is early friendship's reign, 
 A month's brief lapse, perhaps a day's 
 Will view thy mind estranged again. 
 
 Who finds himself without friends is like 
 a body without a soul. 
 
 Friendship, take heed; if woman interfere, 
 Be sure the hour of thy destruction 's near, 
 
 A friend that you have to buy won't be 
 worth what you have to pay for him, no 
 matter what that may be.
 
 FRIENDSHIPS THAT FAIL 
 
 137 
 
 For I am alone, of all my friends, my own 
 friend. 
 
 Faithful friends are hard to find: 
 Every man will be thy friend, 
 While thou hast wherewith to spend. 
 
 Friendship based solely upon gratitude is 
 like a photograph; with time it fades. 
 
 Woe to him that is alone, is verified upon 
 none so much as upon the friendless person. 
 
 When a man marries, dies, or turns Hindoo, 
 His best friends hear no more of him. 
 
 As to the complaints about broken friend- 
 ship: Friendship is often outgrown; and 
 his former child's clothes will no more fit 
 a man than some of his former friendships. 
 
 Alas! they had been friends in youth: 
 But whispering tongues can poison truth, 
 And constancy lives in realms above; 
 And life is thorny, and youth is vain, 
 And to be wroth with one we love 
 Doth work like madness in the brain. 
 
 It 's poor friendship that needs to be con- 
 stantly bought. 
 
 What specter can the charnel send 
 So dreadful as an injured friend? 
 
 He who ceases to be a friend has never 
 been one. 
 
 Apollo- 
 dorus 
 
 Shake- 
 speare 
 
 Carmen 
 Sylva 
 
 South's 
 Sermons 
 
 Shelley 
 
 Sir 
 
 Arthur 
 
 Helps 
 
 Samuel 
 Coleridge 
 
 Proverb 
 
 Walter 
 Scott 
 
 H.C. 
 
 Chatfield- 
 Taylor
 
 US 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Francis 
 Bacon 
 
 Thomas 
 Moore 
 
 La 
 
 Roche- 
 foucauld 
 
 Thoreau 
 
 Seneca 
 
 Charlotte 
 Smith 
 
 Ovid 
 
 John 
 
 Webster 
 
 Scottish 
 Proverb 
 
 Cosmus, Duke of Florence, was wont to 
 say of perfidious friends, that "We read 
 that we ought, to forgive our enemies; but 
 we do not read that we ought to forgive our 
 friends." 
 
 The friends who in our sunshine live, 
 When winter comes are flown; 
 
 And he who has but tears to give 
 Must weep those tears alone. 
 
 Friendships that have been renewed re- 
 quire more care than those that have never 
 been broken off. 
 
 The only danger in friendship is that it 
 will end. 
 
 The comfort of having a friend may be 
 taken away, but not that of having had one. 
 
 No more thy friendship soothes to rest 
 This weary spirit, tempest tossed: 
 
 The cares that weigh upon my breast 
 Are doubly felt since thou art lost. 
 
 There is no friend at hand to console me, 
 none who with conversation will beguile the 
 slowly passing time. 
 
 From decayed fortunes every flatterer shrinks; 
 Men cease to build where the foundation sinks. 
 
 Nae man can be happy without a friend, 
 nor be sure of him till he 's unhappy.
 
 FRIENDSHIPS THAT FAIL 
 
 *39 
 
 My designs and labors and aspirations are 
 my only friends. 
 
 Virtue, how frail it is! 
 Friendship, how rare! 
 
 It is exceedingly noteworthy that in the 
 rule laid down here by our Lord, the re- 
 sponsibility of reconciliation is laid pri- 
 marily, not upon the man who has done 
 wrong, but upon the man who has received 
 the wrong. 
 
 Faint friends when they fall out most cruel 
 foemen be. 
 
 With a little more patience and a little 
 less temper, a gentler and wiser method 
 might be found in almost every case; and 
 the knot that we cut by some fine heady 
 quarrel-scene in private life, or, in public 
 affairs, by some denunciatory act against 
 what we are pleased to call our neighbor's 
 vices, might yet have been unwoven by the 
 hand of sympathy. 
 
 And hearts, so lately mingled, seem 
 Like broken clouds — or like the stream 
 That smiling left the mountain's brow, 
 As though its waters ne'er could sever, 
 Yet, ere it reach the plain below 
 Breaks into floods, that part for ever. 
 
 Affection once extinguished can lead to 
 nothing but indifference or contempt. 
 
 Long- 
 fellow 
 
 Shelley 
 
 Canon 
 MacColl 
 in "Life 
 Here and 
 Here- 
 after" 
 
 Spenser 
 
 Robert 
 Louis 
 Steven- 
 son 
 
 Thomas 
 Moore 
 
 Honore 
 de Balzac
 
 140 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Thomas 
 Jefferson 
 
 Gold- 
 smith 
 
 Walter 
 Savage 
 Landor 
 in "Im- 
 aginary 
 Conver- 
 sations" 
 
 Nahum 
 Tate 
 
 Alfred 
 Tennyson 
 
 Edward 
 Bulwer 
 Lytton 
 
 Olive 
 
 Schreiner 
 
 The dissolutions of personal friendship 
 are among the most painful occurrences in 
 human life. 
 
 He cast off his friends as a huntsman his pack 
 For he knew, when he pleased he could whistle 
 them back. 
 
 Never let us think that the time can come 
 when we shall lose our friends. Glory, liter- 
 ature, philosophy, have this advantage over 
 friendship: remove one object from them 
 and others fill the void; remove one from 
 friendship, one only, and not the earth, nor 
 the universality of worlds, no, nor the in- 
 tellect that soars above and comprehends 
 them, can replace it. 
 
 Friendship's the privilege 
 Of private men; for wretched greatness knows 
 No blessing so substantial. 
 
 He that wrongs his friend 
 Wrongs himself more, and ever bears about 
 A silent court of justice in his breast. 
 
 There is no folly equal to that of throwing 
 away friendship in a world where friendship 
 is so rare. 
 
 Friendship is good, a strong stick; but 
 when the hour comes to lean hard it gives. 
 In the day of our bitterest need all souls are 
 alone.
 
 XIII 
 IN PRAISE OF FRIENDS
 
 IN PRAISE OF FRIENDS 
 
 M3 
 
 I awoke this morning with a devout 
 thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the 
 new. 
 
 Friendship is the great chain of human 
 society. 
 
 The scampering squirrel, when the Autumn's gift 
 Of opening chestnuts and sweet mast descends, 
 Bestows them in the keep the poplar lends 
 
 Against the wind that sets the snows adrift; 
 
 And the lithe branches to the sunlight lift 
 Their length unburdened now, each bough un- 
 bends 
 And raises hands on high, till Heaven sends 
 
 Their prayer its answer in the season's shift. 
 
 Even so my heart stores safe the tender smile, 
 The kindly word, the gentle deed, of those 
 Who are my friends against Time's drifting 
 snows; 
 And still the tendrils of that heart reach 
 forth 
 And point me to the dear ones lost awhile 
 
 Within the Spring beyond the frozen North. 
 
 Many kinds of fruit grow upon the tree 
 of life, but none so sweet as friendship. 
 
 You may not know my supreme happiness 
 at having one on earth whom I can call 
 friend. 
 
 The love of friendship is the most perfect 
 form of love. 
 
 Emerson 
 
 James 
 Howell 
 
 Wallace 
 Rice on 
 "The 
 Heart's 
 Treas- 
 ure" 
 
 Lucy 
 Larcom 
 
 Charles 
 Lamb 
 
 Cardinal 
 Manning
 
 144 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Seneca 
 
 Eliza 
 Cook 
 
 Count 
 
 von 
 
 Platen 
 
 Walt 
 Whit- 
 man in 
 "Leaves 
 of Grass" 
 
 Cicero 
 
 Martin 
 Tupper 
 
 Joseph 
 Addison 
 
 Of all felicities the most charming is that 
 of a firm and gentle friendship. 
 
 Ardent in its earliest tie, 
 Faithful in its latest sigh, 
 Love and Friendship, godlike pair, 
 Find their throne of glory there. 
 
 Love is deemed the tenderest of our affec- 
 tions, as even the blind and deaf know; but 
 I know, what few believe, that true friend- 
 ship is more tender still. 
 
 I hear it was charged against me that I sought to 
 destroy institutions, 
 
 But really I am neither for nor against institutions, 
 
 (What indeed have I in common with them? or 
 what with the destruction of them?) 
 
 Only I will establish in Mannahatta and in every 
 city of these States, inland and seaboard, 
 
 And in the fields and woods, and above every 
 keel little or large that dents the water, 
 
 Without edifices or rules or trustees or any argu- 
 ment, 
 
 The institution of the dear love of comrades. 
 
 Because nature cannot be changed, true 
 friendships are eternal. 
 
 God will not love thee less because men love 
 thee more. 
 
 There is indeed no blessing of life that is 
 in any way comparable to the enjoyment 
 of a discreet and virtuous friend.
 
 IN PRAISE OF FRIENDS 
 
 i45 
 
 How delightful to see a friend after a 
 length of absence ! How delightful to chide 
 him for the length of absence to which we 
 owe our delight. 
 
 Friendship is a crystal lake, sheltered 
 from ruffling winds, wherein he who looks 
 may see his better nature. 
 
 A happy bit hame this auld world would be, 
 
 If men, when they're here, could make shift to 
 
 agree, 
 An' ilk said to his neighbor, in cottage an' ha', 
 "Come gi'e me your hand, we are brethren a'." 
 
 Philosophers smile contemptuously at the 
 fondness of people for a crowd, and for their 
 slavish reciprocal dependence upon each 
 other to amuse and entertain them, as well 
 as to guide them in their thoughts, opinions, 
 or actions. Yet the basis of this tendency is 
 in the love of our fellow-men; and it is the 
 corner stone of the human side of Chris- 
 tianity. 
 
 And though a coat may a button lack, 
 
 And though a face be sooty and black, 
 
 And though the words be heavy of flow, 
 
 And the new-called thoughts come tardy and 
 
 slow, 
 And though rough words in a speech may blend, 
 A heart 's a heart, and a friend 's a friend. 
 
 A friend may well be reckoned the mas- 
 terpiece of Nature. 
 
 Walter 
 Savage 
 Landor 
 
 Christo- 
 pher Ban- 
 nister 
 
 Robert 
 Nicoll 
 
 Paul 
 Siegvolk 
 in "Ru- 
 mina- 
 tions" 
 
 Will 
 Carleton 
 in "Farm 
 Festi- 
 vals" 
 
 Author 
 Unknown
 
 146 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Jerome 
 K.Jerome 
 
 Robert 
 Browning 
 
 Charles 
 Dickens 
 
 John 
 Holden 
 
 Young 
 
 JohnD. 
 Rocke- 
 feller 
 
 There are evergreen men and women in 
 the world, praise be to God! — not many of 
 them, but a few. The sun of our prosperity 
 makes the green of their friendship no 
 brighter, the frost of our adversity kills not 
 the leaves of their affection. 
 
 Eye lights eye in good friendship, great hearts 
 
 expand 
 And grow one in the sense of this world's life. 
 
 What is the odds so long as the fire of 
 souls is kindled at the taper of conwiviality, 
 and the wing of friendship never moults a 
 feather? 
 
 To make this earth a heaven, bring Heaven to 
 
 earth, 
 Our human nature needeth not new birth; 
 For what man lacks a friend? If we should pray 
 That hatred cease, that love's serenest ray 
 Light up the world, and comprehension bring 
 Its perfect sympathy for wandering 
 And errant souls, ask we not that God sends 
 That we and all mankind shall live as friends? 
 
 Friendship is the wine of life. 
 
 How many different kinds of friends there 
 are ! They should be held close at any cost ; 
 for, although some are better than others 
 perhaps, a friend of whatever kind is im- 
 portant; and this one learns as one grows 
 older.
 
 IN PRAISE OF FRIENDS 
 
 M7 
 
 Without friendship, society is but meet- 
 ing. 
 
 Of all the heavenly gifts that mortal men com- 
 mend, 
 
 What trusty treasure in the world can counter- 
 vail a friend? 
 
 The dear love of man for his comrade — the at- 
 traction of man for man. 
 
 Friendship is precious, not only in the 
 shade, but in the sunshine of life; and 
 thanks to a benevolent arrangement of 
 things, the greater part of life is sunshine. 
 
 Oh! let us be happy when friends gather round us. 
 
 However the world may have shadowed our lot; 
 When the rose-braided links of affection have 
 
 bound us. 
 
 Let the cold chains of earth be despised and 
 forgot. 
 And say not that friendship is only ideal; 
 
 That truth and devotion are blessings unknown: 
 For he who believes every heart is unreal, 
 
 Has something unsound at the core of his own. 
 Oh! let us be happy when moments of pleasure 
 
 Have brought to our presence the dearest and 
 best; 
 For the pulse ever beats a most heavenly measure 
 
 When love and good will sweep the strings of 
 the breast. 
 
 To desire the same thing and to dislike 
 the same thing, that alone makes firm 
 friendship. 
 
 Bacon 
 
 Nicholas 
 Grimoald 
 
 Walt 
 Whitman 
 
 Thomas 
 Jefferson 
 
 Eliza 
 Cook 
 
 Sallust
 
 148 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Bertha 
 Gaus 
 
 The sense of sharing makes the blessed- 
 ness of friendship; strength and invigora- 
 tion spring from the contact of soul with 
 soul. All beautiful, helpful, inspirational 
 attributes of humanity flourish in the soil 
 of friendship, exerting their beneficence, not 
 only from friend to friend, but over all who 
 may be reached by the expanding grace of 
 goodness and the glad willingness of love. 
 True friendship, therefore, carries with it an 
 enlargement of the faculties and a more ex- 
 tensive life. It shows us the abundance of 
 the world, and makes us feel that it is good. 
 
 Plautus 
 
 Robert 
 
 Southey 
 
 "The 
 
 Doctor" 
 
 All money 's lost that goes 
 To an evil wife, or foes; 
 But on a faithful friend 
 You gain whate'er you spend. 
 
 It may safely be affirmed that generous 
 minds, when they have once known each 
 other, never can be alienated as long as 
 both retain the characteristics which 
 brought them into union. No distance of 
 place or lapse of time can lessen the friend- 
 ship of those who are thoroughly persuaded 
 of each other's worth. 
 
 A friendship that like love is warm; 
 A love like friendship, steady. 
 
 It is like taking the sun out of the world 
 to bereave human life of friendship.
 
 IN PRAISE OF FRIENDS 
 
 149 
 
 A friend once won need never be lost, if 
 we will be only trusty and true ourselves. 
 Friends may part, not merely in body but 
 in spirit for a while. In the bustle of busi- 
 ness and accidents of life, they may lose 
 sight of each other for years; and more, 
 they may begin to differ in their success in 
 life, in their opinions, in their habits, and 
 there may be for a time coldness and es- 
 trangement between them, but not for ever 
 if each will be trusty and true. For then 
 they will be like two ships who set sail at 
 morning from the same port, and ere night 
 fall lose sight of each other, and go each 
 on its own course and at its own pace for 
 many days, through many storms and seas, 
 and yet meet again, and find themselves ly- 
 ing side by side in the same haven when 
 their long voyage is past. 
 
 Charles 
 Kingsley 
 
 True love is rare; true friendship, still 
 rarer. 
 
 Jean 
 de la 
 Fontaine 
 
 But the best is the clasped hands of comrades 
 
 when nightfall is near. 
 The best is the rest and the friendship, the calm 
 
 of the soul, 
 When the stars are in the heaven and the runner 
 
 lies down at the goal. 
 
 Richard 
 Hovey 
 
 A friend is more necessary than either 
 fire or water. 
 
 Taver- 
 
 ner's 
 
 Proverbs
 
 '5° 
 
 Tottel 
 
 Caxton's 
 
 "Fables 
 
 of 
 
 .ffisop" 
 
 Robert 
 
 Pollok 
 
 in "The 
 
 Course 
 
 of Time" 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Hugh 
 Black 
 
 Henry 
 W. Long- 
 fellow 
 
 Cicero 
 "On 
 Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 Percy 
 Bysshe 
 Shelley 
 
 H.C. 
 
 Chatfield- 
 
 Taylor 
 
 A faithful friend is a thing most worth. 
 
 A true friend is often better at need than 
 a kingdom. 
 
 Friends given by God in mercy and in love; 
 My counsellors, my comforters and guides; 
 My joy in grief, my second bliss in joy; 
 Companions of my young desires, in doubt 
 My oracles; my wings in high pursuits. 
 Oh! I remember, and will ne'er forget 
 Our meeting spots, our chosen sacred hours; 
 Our burning words, that uttered all the soul, 
 Our faces beaming with unearthly love; 
 Sorrow with sorrow sighing, hope with hope 
 Exulting, heart embracing heart entire. 
 
 Comradeship is one of the finest facts, 
 and one of the strongest forces in life. 
 
 No one is so accursed by fate, 
 No one so utterly desolate, 
 But some heart, though unknown, 
 Responds unto his own. 
 
 Friendship, somehow, twines through all 
 lives, and leaves no mode of being without 
 its presence. 
 
 A friend's bosom 
 Is the inmost cave of our own mind, 
 Where we sit from the wide gaze of 
 And from the all-communicating air. 
 
 day 
 
 Friendship is rarer than love, and more 
 enduring.
 
 IN PRAISE OF FRIENDS 
 
 151 
 
 How above all other possessions is the 
 value of a friend in every department of life 
 without any exception whatsoever! 
 
 O friendship, equal poised control, 
 O heart, with kindliest motion warm, 
 O sacred essence, other form, 
 O solemn ghost, O crowned soul! 
 
 The moment we indulge our affections, 
 the earth is metamorphosed: there is no 
 winter, and no night: all tragedies, all en- 
 nuis vanish; all duties even; nothing fills 
 the proceeding eternity but the forms all 
 radiant of beloved persons. 
 
 He who is a friend, loves. He who loves 
 is not always a friend. So friendship profits 
 always; but love sometimes is hurtful. 
 
 Some liken their love to the beautiful rose, 
 
 And some to the violet; sweet in the shade; 
 But the Flower Queen dies when the summer day 
 goes, 
 And the blue eye shuts when the spring blos- 
 soms fade! 
 So we '11 choose for our emblem a sturdier thing, 
 We will go to the mountain and worship its 
 tree; 
 With a health to the Cedar — the Evergreen King — 
 Like that Evergreen so may our friendship be. 
 
 There is nothing that is meritorious but 
 virtue and friendship, and, indeed, friend- 
 ship itself is but a part of virtue. 
 
 John D. 
 Rocke- 
 feller 
 
 Alfred 
 Tennyson 
 "In Me- 
 moriam" 
 
 Ralph 
 Waldo 
 Emerson 
 
 Seneca 
 
 Eliza 
 Cook 
 
 Alexan- 
 der Pope
 
 i5 2 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 May 
 Kendall 
 in "Com- 
 radeship" 
 
 For good or for evil a man's moral and 
 spiritual outlook is altered by the outlook 
 of his comrade. It is inevitable, and in all 
 true comradeship it makes for truth, and 
 generosity, and freedom. It is an incal- 
 culable enlargement of human responsibil- 
 ity, because it constitutes us, in a measure, 
 guardians each of the other's soul. And 
 yet, it is never the suppression of the weak 
 individuality by a strong one. That is not 
 even true discipleship, but spiritual tyr- 
 anny. What the play of two personalities 
 brings about is a fuller, deeper self-realiza- 
 tion on either side. The experience of com- 
 radeship, with all the new knowledge and 
 insight that it brings into a life, can have no 
 ideal unchanged, but the change is not of 
 the nature of a substitution, but of a con- 
 tinuous growth. It is not mental or moral 
 bondage, but deliverance from both. And 
 it is the deliverance from bondage to our- 
 selves. It is our refuge from pride. More 
 than all else, comradeship teaches us to 
 walk humbly with God. For while God's 
 trivial gifts may allow us to grow vain and 
 self-complacent, His great gifts, if we once 
 recognize them, make us own our own deep 
 unworthiness, and bow our heads in un- 
 speakable gratitude. We may have rated 
 our deserts high, and taken flattery as our 
 just due ; we may have competed for the
 
 IN PRAISE OF FRIENDS 
 
 i53 
 
 world's prizes, and been filled with gratified 
 ambition at securing them. But however 
 high we rate ourselves in the hour in which 
 the soul is conscious of its spiritual com- 
 rades, we know that God's great infinite 
 gift of human love is something we have 
 never earned, could never earn, by merit 
 or achievement, by toil, or prayer, or fast- 
 ing. It has come to us straight out of the 
 heart of the eternal Fatherhood ; and all our 
 pride and vanity fall away, and our lives 
 come again to us as the lives of little chil- 
 dren. 
 
 Angels from friendship gather half their joys. 
 
 Tell me not of sparkling gems, 
 
 Set in regal diadems, 
 
 You may boast your diamonds rare, 
 
 Rubies bright, and pearls so fair; 
 
 But there 's a peerless gem on earth, 
 
 Of richer ray and purer worth; 
 
 'T is priceless, but 't is worn by few 
 
 It is, it is the heart that 's true. 
 
 Honest men esteem and value nothing so 
 much in this world as a real friend. Such a 
 one is as it were another self, to whom we 
 impart our most secret thoughts, who par- 
 take of our joy, and comfort us in our afflic- 
 tion; add to this that his company is an 
 everlasting pleasure to us. 
 
 May 
 Kendall 
 in "Com- 
 radeship" 
 
 Young 
 
 Eliza 
 Cook 
 
 Pilpay
 
 154 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Cicero 
 "On 
 "Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 Eliza 
 Cook 
 
 Old 
 
 Saying 
 
 William 
 Words- 
 worth 
 
 Alfred 
 Tennyson 
 
 Shelley 
 
 Dante 
 
 Gabriel 
 
 Rossetti 
 
 Francis 
 Bacon 
 "Of 
 Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 If is it not perfectly understood what vir- 
 tue there is in friendship and concord, it 
 may be learned from dissension and discord. 
 
 Dost thou remember when we roved in summer's 
 
 glowing prime, 
 While friendship's sacred bells rang out a soft 
 
 and merry chime? 
 
 A smiling face 
 Gives many grace. 
 
 Small service is true service while it lasts. 
 
 Of humblest friends, bright creature! scorn not 
 one: 
 The daisy, by the shadow that it casts, 
 
 Protects the lingering dewdrop from the sun. 
 
 My friend, with you to live alone, 
 Were how much better than to own 
 A crown, a sceptre and a throne! 
 
 I know you are my friend, and all I dare 
 Speak to my soul that will I trust with thee. 
 
 Let thy soul strive that still the same 
 Be early friendship's sacred flame. 
 The affinities have strongest part 
 In youth, and draw men heart to heart. 
 
 The best way to represent to life the 
 manifold use of friendship is to cast and see 
 how many things a man cannot do for him- 
 self.
 
 IN PRAISE OF FRIENDS 
 
 [ 55 
 
 Best friend, — my well-spring in the wil- 
 derness. 
 
 When a beloved hand is laid in ours, 
 
 When, jaded with the rush and glare 
 
 Of the interminable hours, 
 
 Our eyes can in another's eyes read clear, 
 
 When our world deafened ear 
 
 Is by the tones of a loved voice caressed, 
 
 A bolt is shot back somewhere in our breast, 
 
 And a lost pulse of feeling stirs again. 
 
 The eyes sink inward and the heart lies plain, 
 
 And what we mean, we say, and what we would, 
 
 we know. 
 A man becomes aware of his life's flow, 
 And hears its winding murmur and he sees 
 The meadows where it glides, the sun, the breeze. 
 
 When Christianity preached the love of 
 one's neighbor it raised the natural instinct 
 of man's fellowship with his kind into a holy 
 commandment. 
 
 Friendship's like music; two strings tuned alike 
 
 Will stir, though only one you strike. 
 
 It blooms and blossoms both in sun and shade, 
 
 Doth (like a bay in Winter) never fade. 
 
 It loveth all and yet suspecteth none, 
 
 Is provident, yet seeketh not its own; 
 
 'T is rare itself, yet maketh all things common ; 
 
 And judicious, yet judgeth no man. 
 
 The best that we find in our travels is an 
 honest friend. He is a fortunate voyager 
 who finds many. 
 
 George 
 Eliot 
 
 Matthew 
 Arnold 
 in "The 
 Buried 
 Life" 
 
 Max 
 Nordau 
 
 Francis 
 Quarles 
 in "Job 
 Militant" 
 
 Robert 
 Louis 
 Steven- 
 son
 
 i S 6 
 
 Henry 
 
 David 
 
 Thoreau 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Algernon 
 Swin- 
 burne 
 
 Edward 
 Young 
 
 Clinton 
 Scollard 
 
 Henry 
 
 Drum- 
 
 mond 
 
 Proverb 
 
 Thomas 
 Moore 
 
 Cicero 
 
 We are sometimes made aware of kind- 
 ness long passed, and realized that there 
 have been times when our friends' thoughts 
 of us were of so pure and lofty a character 
 that they passed over us like the winds of 
 heaven unnoticed ; when they treated us not 
 as what we were, but as what we aspired to 
 be. 
 
 The blood of kindred or affinity 
 
 So much not binds us as the friendship pledged 
 
 To them that are not of our blood. 
 
 A friend is worth all the hazards we can 
 run. 
 
 O Traveler, who hast wandered far 
 'Neath southern sun and northern star, 
 Say where the fairest regions are? 
 Friend, underneath whatever skies, 
 Love looks in love returning eyes 
 There are the bowers of Paradise. 
 
 Who talks of common friendship? There 
 is no such thing in the world. On earth no 
 word is more sublime. 
 
 Friendship is love with understanding. 
 
 The thread of our life would be dark, Heaven 
 
 knows! 
 If it were not with friendship and love intertwined. 
 
 Nothing in the world is more excellent 
 than friendship.
 
 IN PRAISE OF FRIENDS 
 
 i57 
 
 All the abuses which are the object of re- 
 form with the philanthropist, the states- 
 man, the housekeeper, are unconsciously 
 amended in the intercourse of friends. 
 
 It is a sweet thing, friendship, a dear balm, 
 A happy and auspicious bird of calm 
 Which rides o'er life's ever-tumultuous ocean; 
 A God that broods o'er chaos in commotion; 
 A flower which fresh as Lapland roses are, 
 Lifts its bold head into the world's frore air, 
 And blooms most radiantly when others die, 
 Health, hope, and youth, and brief prosperity; 
 And with the light and odor of its bloom, 
 Shining within the dungeon and the tomb; 
 Whose coming is as light and music are 
 'Mid dissonance and gloom — a star 
 Which moves not mid the moving heavens alone 
 A smile amid dark frowns — a gentle tone 
 Among rude voices, a beloved light, 
 A solitude, a refuge, a delight. 
 
 My treasures are my friends. 
 
 A flower cannot blossom without sun- 
 shine and a man cannot live without love. 
 
 But sweeter none than voice of faithful friend; 
 Sweet always, sweetest heard in loudest storm. 
 Some I remember, and will ne'er forget. 
 
 I count myself in nothing else so happy 
 As in a soul remembering my good friends, 
 
 A faithful friend is a true image of the 
 Deity. 
 
 Henry 
 David 
 Thoreau 
 
 Percy 
 
 Bysshe 
 
 Shelley 
 
 Constan- 
 tius 
 
 George P. 
 Upton 
 
 Robert 
 Pollok 
 
 Shake- 
 speare 
 
 Napolecn
 
 XIV 
 BENEFITS OF FRIENDSHIP
 
 BENEFITS OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 161 
 
 My friend ! my friend ! to address thee de- 
 lights me, there is such clearness in the de- 
 livery. I am delivered of my tale, which, 
 being told to strangers, still would linger in 
 my life as if untold, or doubtful how it ran. 
 
 Where a man cannot fitly play his own 
 part, if he have not a friend he may quit the 
 stage. 
 
 When care is on me, earth a wilderness, 
 The evening starless and unsunned the day, 
 When I go clouded like them, sad and grey, 
 
 My fears grown mighty and my hope grown less; 
 
 When every lilting tune brings new distress, 
 Unmirthful sound the children at their play, 
 Nor any book can charm my thought away 
 
 From the deep sense of mine unworthiness; 
 
 Then think I on my friends. Such friends have I, 
 Witty and wise, learned, affectionate, 
 
 There must be in me something fine and high 
 To hold such treasures at the hands of fate; 
 
 Their nobleness hints my nobility, 
 Their love arrays my soul in robes of state. 
 
 He preserved in the day of poverty and 
 distress that consolation of all this world's 
 afflictions, — a friend. 
 
 To have a friend, to talk with him, is bliss; 
 But oh, how blest are friendship's silences! 
 
 Life hath no blessing like a prudent 
 friend. 
 
 Henry 
 David 
 Thoreau 
 
 Francis 
 Bacon 
 
 Wallace 
 Rice, on 
 "The 
 Solace of 
 Friends" 
 
 Henry 
 W. Long- 
 fellow 
 
 Christo- 
 pher Ban- 
 nister 
 
 Euripides
 
 l62 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Grace 
 King of 
 Charles 
 Wagner 
 
 Eliza 
 Cook 
 
 Francis 
 Bacon 
 
 South- 
 erne 
 
 Brewster 
 Matthews 
 
 Shake- 
 speare 
 
 Madame 
 de Stael 
 
 Heywood 
 
 And a friend came to his rescue, and gave 
 him his first intellectual and moral comfort ; 
 and friendship eased the years not only to 
 peace, but to happiness. 
 
 I am glad I learned to love the things 
 That fortune neither takes nor brings; 
 I am glad my spirit learned to prize 
 The smiling face of sunny skies; 
 'T was well I clasped with doting hand 
 The balmy hedge-flowers of the land: 
 For still ye live in friendship sure, 
 My old companions fair and pure. 
 
 For friendship maketh indeed a fair day 
 in the affections from storm and tempest, 
 but it maketh daylight in the understand- 
 ing, out of the darkness and confusion of 
 thoughts. 
 
 'T is something to be willing to commend; 
 But my best praise is that I am your friend. 
 
 All religion is summed up in the idea of 
 friendship and friendliness: They make the 
 parable of the Good Samaritan, the Sermon 
 on the Mount, and the Golden Rule itself. 
 
 And thou shalt prove a shelter to thy friends, 
 A hoop of gold to bind thy brothers in. 
 
 Your friendship is like the spring in the 
 desert, that never fails ; and it is this which 
 makes it impossible not to love you. 
 
 Causes best friended have the best event.
 
 BENEFITS OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 163 
 
 Oh, no doubt, my good friends, but the 
 gods themselves have provided that I shall 
 have much help from you: how had you 
 been my friends else? why have you that 
 charitable title from thousands, did not you 
 chiefly belong to my heart? I have told 
 more of you to myself than you can with 
 modesty speak in your own behalf; and 
 thus far I confirm you. O you gods, think 
 I, what need we have any friends, if we 
 should ne'er have need of 'em? they were 
 the most needless creatures living, should 
 we ne'er have use for 'em, and would most 
 resemble sweet instruments hung up in 
 cases, that keep their sounds to themselves. 
 Why, I have often wished myself poorer, 
 that I might come nearer to you. We are 
 born to do benefits; and what better or 
 properer can we call our own than the 
 riches of our friends? 
 
 Friendship! mysterious cement of the soul! 
 Sweet'ner of life, and solder of society! 
 
 It may be 
 That Nature masks in life several copies 
 Of the same lot, so that the sufferers 
 May feel another's sorrow as their own, 
 And find in friendship what they lost in love. 
 
 Friendship is the only point in human af- 
 fairs, concerning the benefit of which, all 
 men with one voice agree. 
 
 Shake- 
 speare 
 in 
 
 "Timon 
 of 
 
 Athens" 
 Act i, 
 Sc.2 
 
 Robert 
 Blair 
 
 Percy 
 
 Bysshe 
 
 Shelley 
 
 Cicero
 
 1 64 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Shake- 
 speare 
 
 Cam- 
 bridge 
 
 Samuel 
 Taylor 
 Coleridge 
 
 William 
 Alger 
 
 Saint 
 
 Chrysos- 
 
 tom 
 
 Chaucer 
 
 Francis 
 Bacon 
 "Of 
 Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 You do surely bar the door upon your 
 own liberty, if you deny your griefs to your 
 friend. 
 
 Friendship can smooth the front of rude 
 despair. 
 
 Flowers are lovely; Love is flower-like; 
 Friendship is a sheltering tree; 
 O! the joys, that came down shower-like, 
 Of Friendship, Love, and Liberty, 
 Ere I was old. 
 
 A pure friendship inspires, cleanses, ex- 
 pands, and strengthens the soul. 
 
 A faithful friend is the medicine of life; 
 for what cannot be effected by means of a 
 true friend? or what utility, what security, 
 does he not afford? What pleasure has 
 friendship? The mere beholding him dif- 
 fuses an unspeakable joy, and at the bare 
 memory of him the mind is elevated. 
 
 The wise eke saith, woe him that is alone, 
 For, an he fall, he hath no help to rise. 
 
 This communicating of a man's self to 
 his friend works two contrary effects, for 
 it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in 
 halves. For there is no man that imparteth 
 his joys to his friend but he enjoyeth the 
 more, and no man that imparteth his griefs 
 to his friend but he grieveth the less.
 
 BENEFITS OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 165 
 
 At the need the friend is known. 
 
 As bees mixed nectar draw from fragrant flowers, 
 Do men from friendship wisdom and delight. 
 
 There are some to whom we speak al- 
 most in a language of our own, with the 
 confidence that all our broken hints are 
 recognized with a thrill of kinship, and our 
 half-uttered thoughts discerned and shared: 
 some with whom we need not cramp our 
 meaning into the dead form of an explicit 
 accuracy, and with whom we can forecast 
 that we shall walk together in undoubting 
 sympathy even over tracks of taste and be- 
 lief which we may never yet have touched. 
 
 Like gushing water brooks, 
 Freshening and making green the dimmest nooks 
 Of thy friend's soul thy kindness should flow. 
 
 The greatest benefit which one friend can 
 confer upon another, is to guard, and excite, 
 and elevate his virtues. 
 
 Caxton 
 
 Edward 
 Young 
 
 Bishop 
 Paget 
 
 James 
 
 Russell 
 
 Lowell 
 
 Samuel 
 Johnson 
 
 How sweet, how passing sweet is solitude! 
 But grant me still a friend in my retreat, 
 Whom I may whisper — "Solitude is sweet." 
 
 You cannot find a man who fully loves 
 any living thing, that, dolt and dullard 
 though he be, is not in some spot lovable 
 himself. He gets something from his friend 
 if he had nothing at all before. 
 
 La 
 
 Bruyere 
 
 Phillips 
 Brooks
 
 1 66 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 William 
 Alger 
 
 Love, in its high and pure form, is con- 
 fined to one object. Friendship has this ad- 
 vantage, that it may be given to all, how- 
 ever numerous, whose conduct and qualities 
 of character are fitted to command it. It is, 
 therefore, less perilous, less exposed to fatal 
 wreck, more capable of consolations and re- 
 placements. 
 
 William When to the sessions of sweet silent thought 
 Shake- I summon up remembrance of things past, 
 
 I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought, 
 And with old woes new wail my dear time's 
 waste; 
 Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow, 
 
 For precisus friends hid in death's dateless 
 night, 
 And weep afresh love's long since cancelled woe, 
 And moan the expense of many a vanished sight. 
 Then can I grieve at grievances foregone, 
 And heavily from woe to woe tell o'er 
 The sad account of fore bemoaned moan, 
 
 Which I now pay as if not paid before: 
 But if the while I think on thee, dear friend, 
 All losses are restored, and sorrows end. 
 
 Henry 
 
 David 
 
 Thoreau 
 
 Think of the importance of friendship in 
 the education of men. It will make a man 
 honest ; it will make him a hero ; it will 
 make him a saint. It is the state of the just 
 dealing with the just; the magnanimous 
 with the magnanimous; the sincere with 
 the sincere; man with man.
 
 BENEFITS OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 167 
 
 A true friend is distinguished in the cri- 
 sis of hazard and necessity, when the gal- 
 lantry of his aid may show the worth of his 
 soul and loyalty of his heart. 
 
 Friendship is more than cattle; 
 A friend in court aye better is 
 Than penny is in purse certes. 
 
 A principal fruit of friendship is the ease 
 and discharge of the fullness and swellings 
 of the heart, which passions of all kind do 
 cause and induce. We know diseases of 
 stoppings and suffocations are the most 
 dangerous in the body; and it is not much 
 otherwise in the mind. You may take sarza 
 to open the liver, steel to open the spleen, 
 flowers of sulphur for the lungs, castoreum 
 for the brain; but no receipt openeth the 
 heart but a true friend, to whom you may 
 impart griefs, joys, fears, hopes, suspicions, 
 counsels, and whatsoever lieth upon the 
 heart to oppress it, in a kind of civil shift or 
 confession. 
 
 Francis 
 Bacon 
 "Of 
 
 Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 Life is to be fortified by many friendships. Sydney 
 
 To love and to be loved, is the greatest happiness 
 of existence. 
 
 Friendship is the cordial of life, the lenti- 
 tive of our sorrows, the multiplier of our 
 joys. 
 
 Robert 
 Hall
 
 1 68 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Ralph 
 Waldo 
 Emerson 
 on 
 "Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 Our intellectual and active powers in- 
 crease with our affection. The scholar sits 
 down to write, and all his years of medita- 
 tion do not furnish him with one good 
 thought or happy expression; but it is nec- 
 essary to write a letter to a friend, and, 
 forthwith, troops of gentle thoughts invest 
 themselves, on every hand, with chosen 
 words. 
 
 Ennius 
 
 How can life be worth living, if devoid 
 Of the calm trust reposed by friend in friend? 
 What sweeter joy than in the kindred soul, 
 Whose converse differs not from self-communion. 
 
 Old 
 
 Proverb 
 
 You cannot put water on fire to more 
 uses than friendship serves. 
 
 Paul 
 Siegvolk 
 
 Association and familiar intercourse with 
 our fellow-men induce toleration of, and 
 liberty toward, the opinions, manners, con- 
 duct, and characters of others. 
 
 Pope By mutual confidence and mutual aid 
 
 Great deeds are done, and great discoveries made. 
 
 Francis 
 Bacon on 
 "Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 A man can scarce allege his own merits 
 with modesty, much less extol them ; a man 
 cannot sometimes brook to supplicate or 
 beg, and a number of the like ; but all these 
 things are graceful in a friend's mouth, 
 which are blushing in a man's own. .
 
 XV 
 OLD FRIENDS ARE BEST
 
 OLD FRIENDS ARE BEST 
 
 171 
 
 For believe me, in this world which is 
 ever slipping from under our feet, it is the 
 prerogative of friendship to grow old with 
 one's friends. 
 
 We just shake hands at meeting 
 
 With many that come nigh; 
 We nod the head in greeting 
 
 To many that go by. 
 But welcome through the gateway 
 
 Our few old friends and true; 
 Then hearts leap up and straightway 
 
 There 's open house for you, 
 Old friends, 
 
 There's open house for you! 
 
 Time draweth wrinkles in a fair face, but 
 addeth fresh colors to a fast friend. 
 
 Does my old friend remember me? 
 
 The best mirror is an old friend. 
 
 We have been friends together 
 In sunshine and in shade. 
 
 How unspeakably the lengthening of 
 memories in common endears our old 
 friends ! 
 
 A lifelong friendship cast thou not aside! 
 Ages may pass before the ruby's pride 
 
 A stone takes on; an instant is enough 
 To spoil the jewel that the years defied. 
 
 How much the best of a man's friend is 
 his oldest friend. 
 
 Arthur 
 Hardy 
 
 Gerald 
 Massey 
 
 John 
 Lyle 
 
 Tennyson 
 
 Proverb 
 
 Caroline 
 Norton 
 
 George 
 Eliot 
 
 Saadi 
 
 Plautus
 
 172 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Henry 
 
 David 
 
 Thoreau 
 
 Do not trouble yourself much to get new 
 things, whether clothes or friends. Turn 
 the old ; return to them. 
 
 Charles 
 
 Lamb 
 
 "The Old 
 
 Familiar 
 
 Faces" 
 
 I have had playmates, I have had companions, 
 In my days of childhood, in my joyful school days; 
 All, all are gone, the old familiar faces. 
 
 I have been laughing, I have been carousing, 
 Drinking late, sitting late, with my bosom cronies; 
 All, all are gone, the old familiar faces. . . . 
 
 I have a friend, a kinder friend has no man: 
 Like an ingrate, I left my friend abruptly; 
 Left him to muse on the old familiar faces. 
 
 Ghost like I pace round the haunts of my child- 
 hood, 
 Earth seemed a desert I was bound to traverse, 
 Seeking to find the old familiar faces. 
 
 Friend of my bosom, thou more than a brother, 
 Why wert not thou born in my father's dwelling? 
 So we might talk of the old familiar faces. 
 
 How some they have died, and some they have 
 
 left me, 
 And some are taken from me; all are departed; 
 All, all are gone, the old familiar faces. 
 
 John 
 Webster 
 in "West- 
 ward Ho" 
 
 Is not old wine wholesomest, old pippins 
 toothsomest, old wood burns brightest, old 
 linen wash whitest? Old soldiers are surest, 
 and old lovers are soundest.
 
 OLD FRIENDS ARE BEST 
 
 Friends we have, if we have merited them. 
 Those of our earliest years stand nearest in 
 our affections. 
 
 Dag gone it 'Ras! they haint no friend, 
 It 'pears like, left to comprehend 
 Sich things as these but you, and see 
 How dratted sweet they air to me! 
 And so, Ras Wilson, stop and shake 
 A paw, fer old acquaintance sake! 
 
 Old friends are best. King James used to 
 call for his old shoes; they were easiest for 
 his feet. 
 
 Each year to ancient friendship adds a ring, 
 As to an oak, and precious more and more, 
 Without deservingness or help of ours, 
 They grow, and, silent, wider spread, each year, 
 Their unbought ring of shelter or of shade. 
 
 When old age comes, that man is poor 
 indeed — in heart — compared with what he 
 might have been, if he has loved no life- 
 long friend. 
 
 Old friends burn dim, like lamps in noisome air; 
 Love them for what they are; nor love them less, 
 Because to thee they are not what they were. 
 
 Alonso of Aragon was wont to say in 
 commendation of age, that age appears to 
 be best in four things, old wood best to burn, 
 old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and 
 old authors to read. 
 
 173 
 
 Thomas 
 Jefferson 
 
 James 
 Whit- 
 comb 
 Riley 
 
 John 
 Selden 
 
 James 
 
 Russell 
 
 Lowell 
 
 Perry 
 Marshall 
 
 Samuel 
 Taylor 
 Coleridge 
 
 Francis 
 Bacon 
 Apo- 
 thegms
 
 »74 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 George 
 
 It is easy to say how we love new friends, 
 
 Eliot 
 
 and what we think of them, but words can 
 
 
 never trace out all the fibers that knit us to 
 
 
 the old. 
 
 Bliss 
 Carman 
 in "The 
 
 Of a sudden at a well-known corner, 
 
 In the densest throng, 
 
 City in 
 
 Unexpected at the very moment 
 
 the Sea" 
 
 As an April robin's gush of song, 
 
 
 Some one smiles; and there 's the perfect comrade 
 
 
 I have missed so long. 
 
 Jeremy 
 Taylor 
 
 An old friend is like old wine, which, when 
 
 a man hath drunk, he doth not desire new, 
 
 
 because he saith "the old is better". 
 
 Schiller 
 
 An old friend deserves attention. 
 
 Robert 
 
 Old friends to talk! 
 
 Hinckley 
 
 Ay, bring those chosen few, 
 
 folessinger 
 
 The wise, the courtly, and the true, 
 
 
 So rarely found; 
 
 
 Him for my wine, him for my stud, 
 
 
 Him for my easel, distich, bud, 
 
 
 In mountain walk! 
 
 
 Bring Walter good, 
 
 
 With soulful Fred, and learned Will, 
 
 
 And thee, my alter ego (dearer still 
 
 
 For every mood). 
 
 
 These add a bouquet to my wine! 
 
 
 These add a sparkle to my pine! 
 
 
 If these I tine. 
 
 
 Can books, or fire, or wine be good? 
 
 Horace 
 
 Old friends are the greatest blessings of 
 
 Walpole 
 
 one's later years.
 
 OLD FRIENDS ARE BEST 
 
 J 75 
 
 The place where two friends met is sacred 
 to them all through their friendship, all the 
 more sacred as their friendship deepens and 
 grows old. 
 
 The lights they shine along the shore — the ripples 
 
 waver in 
 And from the far away there comes the quaver- 
 ing mandolin: 
 To-morrow we must choose for us the ways that 
 
 we shall wend 
 For all our goodly Fellowship hath come unto 
 and end. 
 
 Now we must part with room-mate Jack — 
 
 Our more than brother he — 
 Who slapped us blithely on the back 
 
 Or cursed us gruesomely; 
 Who paid our debts, who wore our ties, 
 
 Who kissed our girls — deceiver! 
 Who watched all night with unshut eyes 
 When we lay blind with fever. 
 
 The older a friendship is the more precious 
 it should be, as is the case with wines that 
 will bear keeping. 
 
 Old books, old wine, old Nankin blue, 
 All things, in short, to which belong 
 The charm, the grace that Time makes strong, 
 
 All things I prize but (entre nous) 
 Old friends are best. 
 
 Forsake not an old friend; for the new is 
 not comparable to him: a new friend is as 
 new wine; when it is old thou shalt drink 
 it with pleasure. 
 
 Phillips 
 Brooks 
 
 Horatio 
 Winslow 
 in "Com- 
 mence- 
 ment 
 Chant" 
 
 Cicero 
 "On 
 Friend- 
 ship" 
 
 Austin 
 Dobson 
 
 Proverbs
 
 176 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Gold- 
 smith 
 
 Andrew 
 Lang 
 
 Shakerly 
 Marmion 
 
 James 
 Whit- 
 comb 
 Riley 
 
 Horace 
 Walpole 
 
 Lowell 
 
 I love everything that 's old : old friends, 
 old times, old manners, old books, old wine. 
 
 Change, Care, nor Time while life endure, 
 Shall spoil our ancient friendship sure. 
 
 What find you better or more honorable 
 than age? Take the pre-eminence of it in 
 everything, in an old friend, in old wine, in 
 an old pedigree. 
 
 For forty years and better you have been a friend 
 to me, 
 
 Through days of sore afflictions and dire ad- 
 versity, 
 
 You alius had a kind word of counsul to impart, 
 
 Which was like a healin' 'intment to the sorrow 
 of my hart. 
 
 Ways was devius, William Leachman, that me 
 
 and you has past; 
 But as I found you true at first, I find you true 
 
 at last; 
 And, now the time's a comin' mighty nigh our 
 
 journey's end, 
 I want to throw wide open all my soul to you, 
 
 my friend. 
 
 I have young relations that may grown 
 upon me, for my nature is affectionate, but 
 can they grow old friends? My age forbids 
 that. 
 
 A friendship counting nearly forty years 
 is the finest kind of shade-tree I know.
 
 OLD FRIENDS ARE BEST 
 
 What an ocean is life ! and how our barks 
 get separated in beating through it ! One of 
 the greatest comforts of the retirement to 
 which I shall soon withdraw, will be its re- 
 joining me to my earliest and best friends, 
 and acquaintances. 
 
 Should auld acquaintance be forgot, 
 
 And never brought to mind? 
 Should auld acquaintance be forgot 
 
 And days o' lang syne? 
 For auld lang syne, my dear, 
 
 For auld lang syne, 
 We '11 take a cup o' kindness yet, 
 
 For auld lang syne. 
 
 Old friends are the greatest blessings of 
 one's latter years. Half a word conveys 
 one's meaning. They have memory of the 
 same events, and have the same mode of 
 thinking. 
 
 But what binds us friend to friend, 
 But that soul with soul can blend? 
 Soul-like were those hours of yore; 
 Let us walk in soul once more. 
 
 When you have spent your boyhood and 
 played your youthful pranks with a comrade, 
 the sympathy between you and him has 
 something sacred about it; his voice, his 
 glance, stir certain chords in your heart that 
 only vibrate under the memories he brings 
 back. 
 
 177 
 
 Thomas 
 Jefferson 
 
 Robert 
 Burns 
 
 Horace 
 Walpole 
 
 Ludwig 
 Uhland ' 
 
 Honore 
 de Balzac
 
 i 7 8 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Thomas 
 Jefferson 
 
 Oliver 
 
 Wendell 
 
 Holmes 
 
 Shake- 
 speare 
 
 Ovid in 
 
 "Amor- 
 
 um" 
 
 James 
 
 Russell 
 
 Lowell 
 
 "Under 
 
 the 
 
 Willows" 
 
 I find friendship to be like wine, raw when 
 new, ripened with age, the true old man's 
 milk and restorative cordial. 
 
 Friend, whom thy fourscore winters leave more 
 
 dear 
 Than when life's roseate summer on thy cheek 
 Burned in the flush of manhood's manliest year, 
 Lonely, how lonely! is the snowy peak 
 Thy feet have reached, and mine have climbed 
 
 so near! 
 Close on thy footsteps, 'mid the landscape drear, 
 I stretch my hand thine answering grasp to seek, 
 Warm with the love no rippling rhymes can speak! 
 
 To me, fair friend, you never can be old, 
 For as you were when first your eye I ey'd, 
 Such seems your beauty still. 
 
 All your life there was perfect agreement 
 between you, and to the end your long and 
 faithful friendship endured. 
 
 There muse I of old times, old hopes, old friends. 
 Old friends! The writing of those words has 
 
 borne 
 My fancy backward to the gracious past, 
 The generous past, when all was possible, 
 For all was then untried; the years between 
 Have taught some sweet, some bitter lessons, 
 
 none 
 Wiser than this, — to spend in all things else, 
 
 But of old friends to be most miserly. 
 
 I 
 
 That friendship which first came and 
 which shall last endure.
 
 OLD FRIENDS ARE BEST 
 
 179 
 
 A friend may be often found and lost, but 
 an old friend can never be found, and nature 
 has provided that he cannot be easily lost. 
 
 To grow old with you; when the days grow sere 
 To have you by me, making time appear 
 Our willing servant; at an age awry 
 Laughing and jesting as in times gone by; 
 Recalling youth, O friend ere youth was near, 
 Has left the sweeter each advancing year. 
 Still is earth green, and skies are ever clear 
 That listen to my happy heart's fond cry 
 To grow old with you! 
 
 And how old joys return and linger here 
 In the retelling, how quickly dries the tear 
 
 You smile upon, how quick the new griefs fly! 
 
 So, when fulfillment come, why, then shall I 
 Smile at my granted wish — how should I fear? — 
 To grow old with you. 
 
 I enjoy, in recollection, my ancient friend- 
 ships, and suffer no new circumstances to 
 mix alloy with them. 
 
 When round the bowl of vanished years 
 We talk with joyous seeming, 
 With smiles that might as well be tears, 
 So faint, so sad their beaming; 
 While memory brings us back again 
 Each early tie that twined us, 
 Oh, sweet 's the cup that circles then 
 To those we 've left behind us! 
 
 Friendship is the shadow of the evening, 
 which strengthens with the setting sun of 
 life. 
 
 Samuel 
 Johnson 
 
 Wallace 
 Rice on 
 "Growing 
 Old To- 
 gether" 
 
 Thomas 
 Jefferson 
 
 Thomas 
 Moore 
 
 La Fon- 
 taine
 
 XVI 
 FRIENDS THAT ARE GONE
 
 FRIENDS THAT ARE GONE 
 
 183 
 
 Meeting is the beginning of parting. 
 
 We never know the true value of friends. 
 While they live, we are too sensitive of 
 their faults; when we have lost them, we 
 only see their virtues. 
 
 Time takes them home that we loved, fair names 
 and famous. 
 To the soft long sleep, to the broad sweet bosom 
 of death; 
 But the flower of their souls he shall not take 
 away to shame us, 
 Nor the lips lack song for ever that now lack 
 breath. 
 For with us shall the music and perfume that die 
 not, dwell. 
 Though the dead to our dead bid welcome, and 
 we farewell. 
 
 As I grow older, I set a higher value on 
 the intimacies of my youth, and am more 
 afflicted by whatever loses one of them to 
 me. 
 
 'T is sweet, as year by year we lose 
 Friends out of sight, in faith to muse 
 How grows in Paradise our store. 
 
 Let the soul be assured that somewhere 
 in the universe it shall rejoin its friend, and 
 it will be content and cheerful alone for 
 a thousand years. 
 
 Japanese 
 Proverb 
 
 J. C. and 
 A. W. 
 Hare 
 
 Algernon 
 Charles 
 Swin- 
 burne 
 
 Thomas 
 Jefferson 
 
 John 
 Keble 
 
 Ralph 
 
 Waldo 
 
 Emerson
 
 1 84 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Thomas 
 Moore 
 
 Alfred 
 Tennyson 
 in "In 
 Memor- 
 iam" 
 
 John 
 Milton 
 
 Thomas 
 
 Campbell 
 
 "The 
 
 River of 
 
 Life" 
 
 Oliver 
 
 Wendell 
 
 Holmes 
 
 John 
 Greenleaf 
 Whittier 
 
 Ah! well may we hope when this short life is gone 
 To meet in some world of more permanent bliss; 
 For a smile, or a grasp of the hand, hastening on, 
 Is all we enjoy of each other in this. 
 
 Ah yet, ev'n yet, if this might be, 
 I falling on his faithful heart, 
 Would breathing through his lips impart 
 
 The life that almost dies in me: 
 
 That dies not, but endures with pain, 
 And slowly forms the firmer mind, 
 Treasuring the look it cannot find, 
 
 The words that are not heard again. 
 
 But oh, the heavy change, now thou art gone, 
 Now thou art gone, and never must return! 
 
 It may be strange; yet who would change 
 Time's course to slower speeding, 
 
 When one by one our friends have gone 
 And left our bosoms bleeding? 
 
 We who behold our autumn sun below 
 
 The Scorpion's sign, against the Archer's bow, 
 
 Know well what parting means of friend from 
 
 friend; 
 After the snows no freshening dews descend, 
 And what the frost has marred, the sunshine will 
 
 not mend. 
 
 I have friends in Spirit Land, 
 Not shadows in a shadowy band, 
 Not others, but themselves are they, 
 And still I think of them the same 
 As when the Master's summons came.
 
 FRIENDS THAT ARE GONE 
 
 185 
 
 There is something very sad in the death 
 of friends. We seem to provide for our 
 own mortality, and to make up our minds 
 to die. We are warned by sickness, fever 
 and ague, and sleepless nights, and a hun- 
 dred dull infirmities; but when our friends 
 pass away, we lament them as though we 
 had considered them immortal. 
 
 Of our great love, Parthenophil, 
 This little stone abideth still 
 
 Sole sign and token: 
 I seek thee yet, and yet shall seek, 
 Though faint mine eyes, my spirit weak 
 
 With prayers unspoken. 
 
 Meanwhile best friend of friends, do thou, 
 If this the cruel fates allow, 
 
 By death's dark river, 
 Among those shadowy people, drink 
 No drop for me on Lethe's brink: 
 
 Forget me never! 
 
 Over the river they beckon to me — 
 
 Loved ones who 've crossed to the farther side. 
 
 Fast as the rolling seasons bring 
 
 The hour of fate to those we love, 
 Each pearl that leaves that broken string 
 
 Is set in friendship's crown above. 
 As narrower grows the earthly chain, 
 
 Our circle widens in the sky; 
 These are the treasures that remain, 
 
 But those are stars that beam on high. 
 
 Barry 
 Cornwall 
 
 Epitaph 
 Anony- 
 mous 
 from the 
 Greek 
 
 Nancy 
 Priest 
 
 Oliver 
 
 Wendell 
 
 Holmes
 
 i86 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Jerome 
 
 , K. 
 
 Jerome 
 
 in "Idle 
 
 Thoughts 
 
 of an 
 
 Idle 
 
 Fellow" 
 
 Ah me! the world grows very full of 
 ghosts as we grow older. Every house, 
 every room, every creaking chair has its 
 own particular ghost. They haunt the 
 empty chambers of our lives, they throng 
 around us like dead leaves, whirled in the 
 autumn wind. Some are living, some are 
 dead. We know not. We clasped their 
 hands once, loved them, quarreled with 
 them, laughed with them, told them our 
 thoughts, and hopes, and aims, as they told 
 us theirs, till it seemed our very hearts 
 had joined in a grip that would defy the 
 puny power of Death. Ghosts ! they are al- 
 ways with us, and always will be, while 
 the sad old world keeps echoing to the sob 
 of long good-byes, while the cruel ships 
 sail away across the seas, and the cold green 
 earth lies heavy on the hearts of those we 
 love. 
 
 Shake- 
 speare in 
 "All's 
 Well 
 That 
 Ends 
 Well," 
 Act v. 
 Sc.3 
 
 Love that comes too late 
 Like a remorseful pardon slowly carried, 
 To the great sender turns a sour offence, 
 Crying "That's good that's gone." Our rash 
 
 faults, 
 Make trivial price of serious things we have, 
 Not knowing them until we know their grave: 
 Oft our displeasures, to ourselves unjust, 
 Destroy our friends and after weep their dust: 
 Our own love waking cries to see what 's done, 
 While shameful hate sleeps out the afternoon.
 
 FRIENDS THAT ARE GONE 
 
 187 
 
 Polish? Not much, but who cares for that, if the 
 
 heart be as true as steel, 
 And the kindly eyes look straight into yours, with 
 
 a look you can almost feel; 
 And the voice rings true in its welcome, though 
 
 the sound be a trifle gruff? 
 If that 's what you call rough manners, I own I 
 prefer them rough. 
 
 There's many a nobleman, born and bred, with 
 
 money in heaps to spend, 
 And a mincing voice and a shiny hat, and manners 
 
 and style no end; 
 But I know that if they went missing I should 
 
 feel pretty happy still, 
 If I only could have another day and a shake of 
 
 the hand with Bill. 
 
 So, whene'er I turn my eye 
 Back upon the days gone by, 
 Saddening thoughts of friends come o'er me, 
 Friends that closed their course before me. 
 
 Oh, where do my forever losses tend? 
 I could already by some buried friend 
 Count my unhappy years; and should the sun 
 Leave me in darkness, as this loss hath done, 
 By those few friends I have yet to entomb 
 I might, I fear, account my years to come. 
 
 If we choose our friends for what they are, 
 not for what they have, and if we deserve 
 so great a blessing, then they will be always 
 with us, preserved in absence, and even 
 after death in the amber of memory. 
 
 Rudolph 
 Chambers 
 Lehmann 
 in mem- 
 ory of 
 Bill 
 Asplen 
 
 Ludwig 
 Uhland 
 in "The 
 Passage" 
 
 William 
 Browne 
 laments 
 his lost 
 friends 
 
 Lord 
 Avebury 
 in "The 
 Pleasures 
 of Life"
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 William 
 Perm in 
 "Fruits 
 of Soli- 
 tude" 
 
 Robert 
 Louis 
 Steven- 
 son 
 
 Elizabeth 
 Stuart 
 Phelps 
 
 Percy 
 Bysshe 
 Shelley 
 
 Thomas 
 Gray 
 
 J. Gibson 
 Lockhart 
 
 Hafiz 
 
 Death cannot kill what never dies. Nor 
 can spirits ever be divided that love and 
 live in the same divine principle: the root 
 and record of their friendship. This is the 
 comfort of friends, that they may be said 
 to die, yet their friendship and society are, 
 in the best sense, ever present, because im- 
 mortal. 
 
 There are kind hearts still, for friends to fill, 
 
 And fools to take and break them; 
 But the nearest friends are the auldest friends, 
 And the grave 's the place to seek them. 
 
 The unfinished friendships of this life are 
 at once its dreariest experiences, and most 
 glorious hopes, 
 
 And as slow years pass, a funereal train, 
 Each with the ghost of some lost hope or friend, 
 Following it like its shadow. 
 
 Dear lost companions — 
 
 Dear, as the light that visits these sad eyes, 
 Dear, as the ruddy, ruddy drops that warm my 
 heart. 
 
 It is an old belief 
 
 That on some solemn shore, 
 Beyond the sphere of grief, 
 
 Dear friends shall meet once more. 
 
 I have heard a sweet word which was 
 spoken by Jacob, the old man of Canaan: 
 "No tongue can express what means the 
 separation of friends."
 
 FRIENDS THAT ARE GONE 
 
 189 
 
 Even the death of friends will inspire us 
 as much as their lives. They will leave con- 
 solation to the mourners, as the rich leave 
 money to defray their funerals, and their 
 memories will be encrusted over with sub- 
 lime and pleasing thoughts, as monuments 
 of other men are overgrown with moss; for 
 our friends have no place in the graveyard. 
 
 Now who will tell me aright 
 
 The way my lost companion went in the night? 
 
 My vanished comrade who passed from the roofs 
 
 of men, 
 And will not come again. 
 
 Of them who, wrapt in earth so cold, 
 No more the smiling day shall view, 
 
 Should many a tender tale be told, 
 For many a tender thought is due. 
 
 These are the old friends who are never 
 seen with new faces, who are the same in 
 wealth and in poverty, in glory and obscur- 
 ity. With the dead there is no rivalry. 
 
 I never stand above a bier and see 
 
 The seal of death set on some well-loved face 
 But I think, "One more to welcome me, 
 
 When I shall cross the intervening space 
 Between this land and that one over there; 
 One to make the strange Beyond seem fair. 
 
 Some tears fell down my cheeks and then I smiled, 
 As those smile who have no face in the world 
 To smile back to them. I had lost a friend. 
 
 Henry 
 David 
 Thoreau 
 
 Bliss 
 Carman 
 
 John 
 Lang- 
 home 
 
 Thomas 
 Macau- 
 lay 
 
 Ella 
 
 Wheeler 
 
 Wilcox 
 
 Elizabeth 
 Browning
 
 190 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 John 
 
 Rioux 
 
 Lord 
 Byron 
 
 Arabic 
 
 Manu- 
 script 
 
 Oliver 
 
 Wendell 
 
 Holmes 
 
 Henry 
 Wads- 
 worth 
 Long- 
 fellow 
 
 We call that person who has lost his 
 father an orphan ; and a widower, that man 
 who has lost his wife. And that man who 
 has known the immense unhappiness of los- 
 ing his friend, by what name do we call 
 him? Here every human language holds 
 its peace in impotence. 
 
 But who with me shall hold thy former place? 
 Thine image what new friendship can efface, 
 Ah! none! A father's tears will cease to flow, 
 Time will assuage an infant brother's woe; 
 To all save one is consolation known, 
 Where solitary friendship sighs alone. 
 
 I came to the place of my birth, and cried, 
 "The friends of my youth where are they?" 
 and echo answered "Where are they?" 
 
 Each closing circle of our sunlit sphere, 
 Seems to bring heaven more near: 
 Can we not dream that those we love 
 Are listening in the world above? 
 And smiling as they hear 
 The voices, known so well, of friends that still 
 are dear. 
 
 Come back! ye friendships long departed! 
 That like o'erflowing streamlets started, 
 And now are divided one by one, 
 To stony channels in the sun! 
 Come back! ye friends whose lives are ended, 
 Come back with all the light attended, 
 Which seemed to darken and decay, 
 When ye arose and went away.
 
 FRIENDS THAT ARE GONE 
 
 191 
 
 Some people never seem to appreciate 
 their friends until they have lost them. 
 
 Then in the eternal Father's smile, 
 
 Our soothed, encouraged souls will dare 
 
 To seem as free from pride and guile, 
 As good and generous as they are. 
 
 Then shall we know our friends! though much 
 Will have been lost — the help in strife, 
 
 The thousand sweet, still joys of such 
 As hand in hand face earthly life — 
 
 Though these be lost, there will be yet 
 
 A sympathy august and pure; 
 Ennobled by a vast regret, 
 
 And by contrition seal'd thrice sure. 
 
 I saw a dead man's finer part 
 Shining within each faithful heart 
 Of those bereft. Then said I, "This must be 
 His Immortality." 
 
 But he who has once stood beside the 
 grave, to look back on the companionship 
 which has been forever closed, feeling how 
 impotent then are the wild love and the 
 keen sorrow to give one instant's pleasure 
 to the pulseless heart, or to atone, in the 
 lowest measure to the departed spirit, for 
 the hour of unkindness, will scarcely for 
 the future incur that debt to the heart 
 which can only be discharged to the dust. 
 
 Lord 
 Avebury 
 
 Matthew 
 Arnold 
 in "Swit- 
 zerland" 
 
 Thomas 
 Hardy 
 
 John 
 
 Ruskin
 
 192 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Robert 
 Louis 
 Steven- 
 son 
 
 Thomas 
 Bayly 
 
 He is not dead, this friend, not dead, 
 But in the path we mortals tread, 
 Got some few trifling steps ahead, 
 
 And nearer to the end, 
 So that you, too, once past the bend, 
 Shall meet again, as face to face, this friend 
 
 You fancy dead. 
 
 Push gaily on, Strong-Heart! The while 
 You travel forward, mile by mile, 
 
 Till you can overtake, 
 He strains his eyes to search his wake, 
 Or, whistling as he sees you through the break, 
 
 Waits on the stile. 
 
 Friends depart, and memory takes them 
 To her caverns, pure and deep. 
 
 James 
 Russell 
 Lowell 
 
 I weep to think of those old faces, 
 To see them in their grief or mirth; 
 
 I weep — for there are empty places 
 Around my heart's once crowded hearth. 
 
 Thomas 
 
 Moore 
 
 in "The 
 
 Light of 
 
 Other 
 
 Days" 
 
 When I remember all 
 
 The friends so linked together 
 I 've seen around me fall 
 
 Like leaves in wintry weather, 
 I feel like one 
 Who treads alone 
 Some banquet hall deserted, 
 'Whose lights are fled, 
 Whose garlands dead, 
 And all but he departed! 
 Thus in the stilly night 
 
 Ere slumber's chain has bound me, 
 Sad memory brings the light 
 Of other days around me.
 
 FRIENDS THAT ARE GONE 
 
 i93 
 
 Every one that has not been long dead 
 has a due portion of praise allotted to him, 
 in which while he lived his friends were too 
 profuse and his enemies too sparing. 
 
 Tears of the widower, when he sees, 
 A late lost form that sleep reveals, 
 And moves his doubtful arms, and feels 
 
 Her place is empty, fall like these; 
 
 Which weep a loss for ever new, 
 A void where heart on heart reposed; 
 And, where warm hands have prest and closed, 
 
 Silence, till I be silent too. 
 
 Which weep the comrade of my choice, 
 An awful thought, a life removed, 
 The human-hearted man I loved, 
 
 A spirit, not a breathing voice. 
 
 When musing on companions gone, 
 We doubly feel ourselves alone. 
 
 It must have been his charity, 
 That tender human heart of his, 
 That rare unfailing kindliness, 
 Could make his death seem so amiss. 
 
 Friend after friend departs; 
 
 Who hath not lost a friend? 
 There is no union here of hearts 
 
 That finds not here an end. 
 
 Fate ordains that the dearest friends 
 must part. 
 
 Joseph 
 Addison 
 
 Alfred 
 Tennyson 
 "In Me- 
 moriam' 
 
 William 
 Scott 
 
 Bliss 
 Carman 
 
 James 
 Mont- 
 gomery 
 
 Edward 
 Young
 
 XVII 
 THE GREAT FRIENDSHIPS
 
 THE GREAT FRIENDSHIPS 
 
 197 
 
 It was when David came up from Bethle- 
 hem, recommended by one of Saul's serv- 
 ants, to be no more a shepherd of sheep, 
 but armorbearer to the King, that he met 
 the King's valiant and generous son, Jona- 
 than, prince of Israel. For at that time 
 Jonathan had already abundantly proved 
 his temper, smiting a garrison of the Phil- 
 istines at Geba, standing out against the 
 assemblage of their hosts at Gibeah when 
 there was neither sword nor spear in all 
 Israel, slaying with the sole assistance of 
 his armorbearer twenty of the enemy and 
 putting the rest to rout, panic-stricken, 
 holding himself independent of his royal 
 father when he would have put him to 
 death for disobedience, with the people at 
 his back, and in every way showing himself 
 worthy of succession to the throne. But it 
 was not until David had won his notable 
 victory over Goliath of Gath and was stand- 
 ing before Saul "when he had made an end 
 of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jona- 
 than was knit with the soul of David, and 
 Jonathan loved him as his own soul. Then 
 Jonathan and David made a covenant, be- 
 cause he loved him as his own soul; and 
 Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that 
 was upon him and gave it to David, and his 
 garments, even to his sword, his bow, and 
 his girdle." 
 
 David 
 
 and 
 
 Jonathan
 
 1 98 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 David 
 
 and 
 
 Jonathan 
 
 There followed one of Saul's evil periods, 
 in which he shifted between awarding 
 David one or another of his daughters in 
 honor or conspiring against his life. Fin- 
 ally " Saul spake to Jonathan his son, and 
 to all his servants, that they should kill 
 David. But Jonathan delighted much in 
 David, and told him, saying : ' Saul my 
 father seeketh to kill thee; now therefore, 
 I pray thee, take heed to thyself until the 
 morning, and abide in a secret place and 
 hide thyself; and I will go out and stand 
 beside my father in the field where thou 
 art, and I will commune with my father 
 of thee; and what I see, that will I tell 
 thee.' And Jonathan spake good of David 
 unto Saul his father, and said unto him: 
 ' Let not the King sin against his servant, 
 against David; because he hath not sinned 
 against thee, and because his works have 
 been to theeward very good ; for he did put 
 his life in his hand, and slew the Philistine, 
 and the Lord wrought a great salvation for 
 all Israel. Thou sawest it and didst re- 
 joice; wherefore then wilt thou sin against 
 innocent blood, to slay David without a 
 cause?' And Saul hearkened unto the 
 voice of Jonathan ; and Saul sware, ' As the 
 Lord liveth, he shall not be slain.' Jonathan 
 called David, and Jonathan shewed him all 
 those things. And Jonathan brought David
 
 THE GREAT FRIENDSHIPS 
 
 199 
 
 to Saul, and he was in his presence as in 
 times past." 
 
 But Saul's memory was short and his 
 word valueless, though given to his first- 
 born. After perfidiously seeking David's 
 life with his own spear, while the youth was 
 playing before him, he sent to his house to 
 have him slain. By this time David was 
 brother-in-law to Jonathan, and it was his 
 wife Michal, Jonathan's sister, who let him 
 out of the window in time to save his life. 
 David betook himself to Samuel at Naioth 
 in Remah, whither Saul followed him. " And 
 David fled from Naioth and came and said 
 before Jonathan: 'What have I done? what 
 is mine iniquity? and what is my sin before 
 thy father that he seeketh my life ? ' And 
 he said unto him : ' God forbid ; thou shalt 
 not die; behold, my father will do nothing 
 either great or small but that he will shew 
 it me. Why would my father hide this 
 thing from me? It is not so.' And David 
 sware moreover and said : ' Thy father cer- 
 tainly knoweth that I have found grace in 
 thine eyes ; and he saith, " Let not Jonathan 
 know this, lest he be grieved ; " but truly, 
 as the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth, 
 there is but a step between me and death.' 
 Then said Jonathan unto David, ' Whatso- 
 ever thy soul desireth, I will even do it for 
 thee.' And David said unto Jonathan: 
 
 David 
 
 and 
 
 Jonathan
 
 20O 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 David 
 and 
 Jonathan 
 
 ' Behold, to-morrow is the new moon, and I 
 should not fail to sit with the King at meat ; 
 but let me go, that I may hide myself in 
 the field unto the third day at even. If thy 
 father at all miss me, then say, " David 
 earnestly asked leave of me that he might 
 run to Bethlehem his city; for there is a 
 yearly sacrifice there for all the family." 
 If he say thus, " It is well ; " thy servant 
 shall have peace. But if he be very wroth, 
 then be sure that evil is determined by him. 
 Therefore thou shalt deal kindly with thy 
 servant; for thou hast brought thy servant 
 into a covenant of the Lord with thee : Not- 
 withstanding, if there be in me iniquity, 
 slay me thyself, for why shouldest thou 
 bring me to thy father?' And Jonathan 
 said : ' Far be it from thee ; for if I knew 
 certainly that evil were determined by my 
 father to come upon thee, then would I not 
 tell it thee? ' Then said David to Jonathan, 
 • Who shall tell me? or what if thy father 
 answer thee roughly? ' 
 
 " Jonathan said unto David, ' Come let us 
 go out into the field.' And they went out, 
 both of them, into the field. And Jonathan 
 said unto David : ' O Lord God of Israel, 
 when I have sounded my father about to- 
 morrow any time, or the third day, and be- 
 hold, if there be good toward David and I 
 then send not unto thee and shew it thee ; 
 
 J
 
 THE GREAT FRIENDSHIPS 
 
 201 
 
 the Lord do so and much more to Jonathan ; 
 but if it please my father to do thee evil, 
 then I will shew it to thee, and send thee 
 away, that thou mayest go in peace. And 
 the Lord be with thee, as He hath been 
 with my father. Thou shalt not only while 
 I yet live shew me the kindness of the Lord, 
 that I die not; but also thou shalt not cut 
 off thy kindness from my house forever: 
 no, not when the Lord hath cut off the 
 enemies of David every one from the face 
 of the earth.' So Jonathan made a covenant 
 with the house of David, saying, ' Let the 
 Lord even require it at the hand of David's 
 enemies.' And Jonathan caused David to 
 swear again, because he loved him; for 
 he loved him as he loved his own soul. 
 Then Jonathan said to David : ' To-morrow 
 is the new moon ; and thou shalt be missed, 
 because thy seat will be empty. And when 
 thou hast stayed three days, then shalt thou 
 go down quickly, and come to the place 
 where thou didst hide thyself when the bus- 
 iness was in hand, and shalt remain by the 
 stone Ezel. And I will shoot three times 
 at the side thereof, as though I shot at a 
 mark. And behold I will send a lad, say- 
 ing, " Go, find out the arrows." If I ex- 
 pressly say unto the lad, "Behold, the ar- 
 rows are on this side of thee, take them ; " 
 then come thou, for there is peace to thee 
 
 David 
 
 and 
 
 Jonathan
 
 202 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 David 
 and 
 Jonathan 
 
 and no hurt, as the Lord liveth. But if I 
 say thus unto the young man, " Behold, the 
 arrows are beyond thee ; " go thy way, for 
 the Lord hath sent thee away. And, as 
 touching the matter which thou and I have 
 spoken of, behold, the Lord be between 
 thee and me forever.' 
 
 " So David hid himself in the field : and 
 when the new moon was come, the King 
 set him down to eat meat, and David's place 
 was empty. Nevertheless Saul spake not 
 anything that day, for he thought, ' Some- 
 thing hath befallen him, he is not clean, 
 surely he is not clean.' And it came to 
 pass on the morrow, which was the second 
 day of the month, that David's place was 
 empty; and Saul said unto Jonathan his 
 son, ' Wherefore cometh not the son of 
 Jesse to meat, neither yesterday nor to- 
 day?' And Jonathan answered Saul, ' David 
 earnestly asked leave of me to go to Beth- 
 lehem. Therefore he cometh not unto the 
 King's table.' Then Saul's anger was kin- 
 dled against Jonathan, and he said unto 
 him : ' For as long as the son of Jesse liv- 
 eth upon the ground, thou shalt not be es- 
 tablished, nor thy kingdom. Wherefore 
 now send and fetch him unto me, for 
 he shall surely die.' And Jonathan an- 
 swered Saul his father, and said unto him, 
 'Wherefore should he be slain? what hath
 
 THE GREAT FRIENDSHIPS 
 
 203 
 
 he done?' And Saul cast a javelin at him 
 to smite him; whereby Jonathan knew that 
 it was determined of his father to slay 
 David. So Jonathan arose from the table 
 in fierce anger, and did eat no meat; for he 
 was grieved for David, because his father 
 had done him shame. 
 
 " And it came to pass in the morning that 
 Jonathan went out into the field at the time 
 appointed with David, and a little lad with 
 him. And he said unto his lad, ' Run, find 
 out now the arrows which I shoot.' And as 
 the lad ran, he shot an arrow beyond him. 
 And when the lad was come to the place of 
 the arrow which Jonathan had shot, Jona- 
 than cried after the lad, and said, ' Is not 
 the arrow beyond thee?' And Jonathan 
 cried after the lad, ' Make speed, haste, stay 
 not.' And Jonathan's lad gathered up the 
 arrows, and came to his master, but the 
 lad knew not anything: only Jonathan and 
 David knew the matter. And Jonathan 
 gave his artillery unto his lad and said 
 unto him, ' Go, carry them to the city.' And 
 as soon as the lad was gone, David arose 
 out of a place toward the south, and fell on 
 his face to the ground and bowed himself 
 three times; and they kissed one another 
 and wept with one another, until David 
 exceeded. And Jonathan said to David: 
 1 Go in peace, forasmuch as we have sworn 
 
 David 
 
 and 
 
 Jonathan
 
 204 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 David 
 
 and 
 
 Jonathan 
 
 both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, 
 " The Lord be between me and thee, and 
 between my seed and thy seed forever." ' 
 And he arose and departed; and Jonathan 
 went into the city." 
 
 Saul hunted David day and night, follow- 
 ing him in swift pursuit from place to place. 
 Yet, at the height of the chase, " Jonathan, 
 Saul's son arose and went to David and 
 strengthened his hand in God, and he said 
 unto him : ' Fear not ; for the hand of Saul 
 my father shall not find thee ; and thou shalt 
 be king over Israel, and I shall be next unto 
 thee; and that also Saul my father know- 
 eth.' And they two made a covenant be- 
 fore the Lord; and David abode in the 
 wood, and Jonathan went to his house." 
 This was their last meeting, though David 
 stood twice at the side of the sleeping King 
 and held his life in his hand, but would not 
 touch him to harm him. Both David with 
 the company that gathered about him and 
 Saul with his royal soldiery fought the 
 Philistines, with varying success. Jonathan, 
 it very well may be, v/as beside his father 
 on the morning after David had taken his 
 spear from the sleeping monarch, when 
 Saul renewed his pledge to do no harm to 
 David; if so, it was the last time they 
 looked upon one another in life ; for, though 
 Saul kept his pledge this time, both he and
 
 THE GREAT FRIENDSHIPS 
 
 205 
 
 Jonathan, his princely son and heir, went 
 down to death in the rout of the Israelites 
 at Mount Gilboa. The two were taken from 
 the Philistines at Bethshan by the valiant 
 men of Jabesh-gilead, "and they took their 
 bones and buried them under a tree at 
 Jabesh, and fasted seven days." 
 
 Word was brought to David while he was 
 rejoicing over his victory at Ziklag, where 
 he inflicted a signal defeat upon the Amale- 
 kites, of the loss of his King and father-in- 
 law, and of his princely friend, Jonathan. 
 Though the news meant David's succession 
 to the throne, he took no thought of any- 
 thing save his own loss, and the lament he 
 then composed remains the best, as it was 
 the first, of the lamentations of the sons 
 of men for friends dead and gone, as fol- 
 lows: 
 
 "The beauty of Israel is slain upon thy 
 high places: how are the mighty fallen! 
 Tell it not in Gath, publish it not in the 
 streets of Askelon; lest the daughters of 
 the Philistines rejoice, lest their daughters 
 triumph. Ye mountains of Gilboa, let there 
 be no dew, neither let there be rain upon 
 you, nor fields of offerings; for there 
 the shield of the mighty is vilely cast away, 
 the shield of Saul. From the blood of the 
 slain, from the fat of the mighty, the bow 
 
 David 
 
 and 
 
 Jonathan
 
 206 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 David 
 and 
 Jonathan 
 
 Abraham 
 Cowley 
 
 of Jonathan turned not back, and the sword 
 of Saul returned not empty. 
 
 " Saul and Jonathan were lovely and pleas- 
 ant in their lives, and in their death they 
 were not divided: they were swifter than 
 eagles, they were stronger than lions. Ye 
 daughters of Israel, weep over Saul, who 
 clothed you in scarlet, with other delights ; 
 who put on ornaments of gold upon your 
 apparel. How are the mighty fallen in the 
 midst of the battle ! O Jonathan, thou wast 
 slain in thine high places. I am distressed 
 for thee, my brother Jonathan; very pleas- 
 ant hast thou been to me; thy love to me 
 was wonderful, passing the love of women. 
 
 " How are the mighty fallen, and the 
 weapons of war perished ! " 
 
 The fame of friendship which so long had told 
 Of three or four illustrious names of old- 
 
 Orestes 
 and 
 Pylades 
 as told 
 Lucian 
 in his 
 "Amores" 
 
 Phocis preserves from early times the 
 memory of the union between Orestes and 
 Pylades, who, taking a god as witness of 
 the friendship between them, sailed through 
 life together, as if in one boat. Both to- 
 gether put to death Clytemnestra, as though 
 both were sons of Agamemnon ; and Aegis- 
 thus was slain by both. Pylades suffered 
 more than his friend by the punishment 
 that was on the track of Orestes. Pylades 
 stood by his friend when he was condemned
 
 THE GREAT FRIENDSHIPS 
 
 207 
 
 to exile. They did not limit their tender 
 friendship by the limits of Greece, but 
 sailed together to the farthest boundaries 
 of the Scythians : one of them sick, the other 
 ministering to him. When they had come 
 into the Tauric land the fury of the mother 
 Orestes had slain met them; while the bar- 
 barians were standing round in a circle 
 Orestes fell down and lay on the ground, 
 seized by one of his frequent fits of mad- 
 ness. Pylades wiped the foam from his 
 lips, tended his body, and covered him with 
 his well woven cloak, and acted not only as 
 his friend but like a father. 
 
 When the barbarians determined that one 
 of the twain should be put to death on the 
 spot, while the other should be spared to 
 deliver a letter at Mycaenae, each wished to 
 remain for the sake of the other, thinking 
 his own life better than saved should he 
 save the life of his friend. Orestes refused 
 to take the letter, saying that Pylades was 
 the worthier messenger, and acting more 
 like the lover than the beloved. "For," 
 said he, "the slaying of this man would be 
 a great grief to me, since I am the cause of 
 these misfortunes," And he added, "Give 
 the tablet to him." Then, turning to Py- 
 lades, he said, "I will send thee to Argos, 
 in order that it may be well with thee; as 
 for me, let any one kill me who wishes." 
 
 Orestes 
 
 and 
 
 Pylades
 
 2o8 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 Orestes 
 
 and 
 
 Pylades 
 
 Theoc- 
 ritus 
 
 Damon 
 and 
 
 Pythias 
 
 as told by 
 
 Valerius 
 
 Maximus 
 
 in his 
 
 "De 
 
 Amicitiae 
 
 Vinculo" 
 
 Such love is always like that; for, when 
 from boyhood a serious friendship has 
 grown up and it becomes full grown at the 
 age of reason, the long loved object returns 
 reciprocal affection; it is hard to determine 
 which is the lover of which, for, as from a 
 mirror, the affection of the lover is re- 
 flected from the beloved. 
 
 Two men each other loved to that degree, 
 That either friend did in the other see 
 A dearer than himself. They lived of old, 
 Both golden natures in an age of gold. 
 
 Damon and Phintias (commonly called 
 Pythias), fellow initiates in the Pythago- 
 rean mysteries, contracted so faithful a 
 friendship for one another that, when Dio- 
 nysius, the tyrant of Syracuse in Sicily, took 
 it in mind to put one of them to death and 
 yet gave his consent that the condemned 
 man should return to his home to set his 
 affairs in order, the other did not hesitate 
 to give himself up as a hostage for his 
 friend's return. They so loved one another 
 that they lived together and held everything 
 either owned as the property of both. He 
 whose neck was endangered was now at 
 large ; and he whose safety was secured 
 him was now in danger of the sword. Every- 
 body therefore in general, and Dionysius in 
 particular, were wondering what was to be 
 the outcome of this unusual and doubtful
 
 THE GREAT FRIENDSHIPS 
 
 209 
 
 predicament. As the day of execution drew 
 nearer and nearer and the condemned man 
 was still far away, every one condemned 
 the one who had stood his hostage as both 
 stupid and rash. Nevertheless he insisted 
 that with such a friend he had nothing to 
 fear in the matter of constancy. 
 
 So it fell out: On the moment and the 
 hour fixed by Dionysius the one of the two 
 friends who had been given leave to absent 
 himself was at the place assigned to meet 
 his fate. The tyrant, in admiration of the 
 staunchness of them both, remitted the sen- 
 tence that had so tried their loyalty. This 
 done, he asked them in return to receive 
 him into the bonds of their friendship, say- 
 ing that he would make his third place in 
 their affection agreeable to them both by his 
 utmost good will and effort. 
 
 Such indeed are the powers of friend- 
 ship: To breed a contempt of death, to 
 overcome the sweet desire for life, to 
 humanize the cruelty of tyrants, to turn 
 hatred into love, to make generous amends 
 for punishment to which powers almost as 
 much veneration is due as to the worship 
 of the immortal gods. For if with these 
 rests the public safety, on those does pri- 
 vate happiness depend; and as the temples 
 are the sacred domiciles of these, so of those 
 
 Damon 
 
 and 
 
 Pythias
 
 210 
 
 Damon 
 
 and 
 
 Pythias 
 
 Shake- 
 speare 
 "Henry 
 
 V 
 Act iv, 
 Sc. 6 
 
 Walter 
 Landor 
 
 Honore 
 de Balzac 
 
 Herbert 
 Dunbar 
 
 THE WEALTH OF FRIENDSHIP 
 
 are the loyal hearts of men as it were the 
 shrines consecrated by some holy spirit. 
 
 Suffolk first died; and York, all haggled over, 
 Comes to him, where in gore, he lay insteep'd 
 And takes him by the beard, kisses the gashes, 
 That bloodily did yawn upon his face; 
 He cries aloud, "Tarry, dear cousin Suffolk! 
 My soul shall thine keep company in heaven: 
 Tarry, sweet soul, for mine; then fly abreast, 
 As in this glorious and well-foughten field 
 We kept together in our chivalry!" 
 Upon these words I came and cheered him up: 
 He smiled me in the face, raught me his hand, 
 And with a feeble gripe, says, "Dear my Lord, 
 Commend my service to my sovereign." 
 So did he turn, and over Suffolk's neck 
 He threw his wounded arm, and kissed his lips; 
 And so, espoused to death, with blood he seal'd 
 A testament of noble-ending love. 
 
 I know not whether our names will be 
 immortal; I am sure our friendship will. 
 
 The perfection of loving-kindness is to 
 efface ourselves so thoroughly that those 
 we benefit shall not think themselves in- 
 ferior to him who benefits them, 
 
 David had his Jonathan, Christ his John. 
 
 Hold God thy friend.