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 L I B R.ARY 
 
 OF THE 
 
 UNIVERSITY 
 
 or ILLINOIS
 
 J[dl0iDs|i| m |0]) mt^ ^BOTtv. 
 
 A SERMON 
 
 PREACHED IN 
 
 HER MAJESTY'S ROYAL CHAPEL 
 IN WINDSOR CASTLE, 
 
 ON THE 
 
 SUNDAY PRECEDING THE MARRIAGE 
 
 OF 
 
 H. E. H. THE PRINCE OE WALES, 
 
 MARCH 8, 1863. 
 
 BY 
 
 SAMUEL, LORD BISHOP OF OXFORD, 
 
 LORD HIGH ALMONER TO THE QUEEN ; 
 CHANCELLOR OF THE MOST NOBLE ORDER OF THE GARTER. 
 
 ^ntrlisl^cb bg '§tx Pajtstg's tommirnb. 
 
 OXFORD and LONDON : 
 
 JOHN HENRY and JAMES PARKER. 
 
 1863.
 
 Jfi^Ibfosj)!]^ in log anb Snrroia. 
 
 ROMANS xii. 15. - 
 
 " Rejoice with them that do rejoice ; and weep 
 with them that weep." 
 
 "OY no other token does Holy Scripture more 
 -^ manifest itself to the conscience to be the 
 Book of God than by that profound knowledge of 
 humanity which makes it the book of Man. 
 
 In this brief exhortation there is a striking in- 
 stance of this knowledge. To a mere superficial 
 glance, indeed, there is something strange in the 
 counsel. Why should it be necessary to urge the 
 redeemed of Christ " to rejoice with them that do 
 rejoice?" Are not men naturalhj prone to sun 
 themselves, when they can, in the prosperity of 
 the fortunate ; to share the laughter of the merry- 
 hearted ; and the songs and rejoicings of the house 
 of feasting ? Surely it did not need a special pre- 
 cept from Heaven to enforce as a duty that which 
 human nature is so ready to choose as a pleasure. 
 Here is one siuface difficulty. 
 
 Again it may be asked, why join together the 
 two parts of this precept — " Eejoice with them 
 that do rejoice; and weep with them that weep?" 
 as though there were some special connection be-
 
 4 FELLOWSHIP IN JOY AND SORROW. 
 
 tween the two : whereas it seems at first sight as 
 if they altogether differed. For it appears natural 
 to us to look for fellowship in joy to one man, 
 and for fellowship in soitow to another : to make 
 the successful, the untroubled, the high-spii'ited 
 the companions of our gladness, and the chastened 
 and afflicted the sharers of our griefs. Here, then, 
 is a second surface difficulty. Now it is to the 
 solution of these difficulties that I would call your 
 attention ; both because it will shew us something 
 of that deep knowledge of humanity which pervades 
 the Bible, and also because it will suggest to us 
 some practical thoughts of great value in them- 
 selves, as well as of special application to our 
 present circumstances. 
 
 And first, for this uniting together in one pre- 
 cept the fellowship in sorrow and in joy. 
 
 Now, startling as this may look at first sight, 
 how deeply human is it when we gaze into it more 
 closely. For first, how are these blended always in 
 this world ! AVhere can we ever find the one without 
 the other ? Where is the house of feasting in which 
 there are not in some lone chamber or other the 
 bitter herbs and the unleavened bread ? Where is 
 the blessed sunshine without the dark neighbour- 
 hood of some weeping cloud ? Even if they seem 
 in any life to be for awhile parted, how inevitable 
 is the union ! The sparkling cup of joy is followed 
 evermore in sad succession by the cup of tears ; and 
 it comes surely round to each one in his appointed 
 turn. Where is the rich inheritance of earthly 
 
 e URJC '
 
 FELLOWSHIP IN JOY AND SORROW. 5 
 
 love, without sooner or later the deep anguish of 
 separation ? Where does not the brightness of the 
 festal dance change, even as it is lengthened out, 
 into the slow procession of the veiled mourners ? 
 
 Nor is this all. Even beyond it, there seems to 
 be in us ourselves, as we are here on earth, a 
 hidden sacramental union between joy and sorrow, 
 even at the same time in the same heart. This 
 may not indeed be perceived in the frivolous, who 
 weep childish tears which dry as soon as they are 
 shed, and laugh with an idle surface merriment in 
 which the soul scarcely seems to join. But it is 
 plainly marked in the working of deeper spirits. 
 In them these highest fountain-heads of emotion lie 
 close beside each other. In them great joy is a very 
 solemn strain, and often finds its truest utterance 
 in a sigh ; it is a trembling mystery, which de- 
 clares itself outwardly rather by the welling over 
 of the tear of delight than by the shallower acts of 
 a noisy laughter. In them, if God has given to 
 them the grace to yield themselves to His Will and 
 to lie passive in His hands, a deep abiding grief is, 
 not unfrcquently, the best possession which life as 
 it advances has left to them ; for like the aroma 
 which is shed around from the crushed leaf of the 
 spice plant, with the bruising of their heart is min- 
 gled evermore in the stillness of their resignation 
 the fragrance of undying recollections and the sweet 
 breath of expectant hopes. 
 
 Surely in all this we are "fearfully and wonder- 
 fully made," and we can see that He who joined
 
 6 FELLOWSHIP IN JOY AND SORROW. 
 
 together this twofokl precept had as He spake it 
 Ilis finger on the true pulse of our inmost life, and 
 was reading all its mystery. 
 
 But even thus we have not said all. For to enter 
 thoroughly into the reasons for this double precept 
 we should see further, exactly (1.) what it is to 
 which we are exhorted, (2.) why the exhortation is 
 needed, and (3.) with what purpose it is given. 
 
 Now these we shall mark the most readily if we 
 examine them, first, as to the second exhortation, 
 that we "weep with them that weep." What, 
 then, (1.) is it to do this ? 
 
 It is not, merely, like the ten lepers, whom a 
 common misery had drawn into companionship, 
 that we let our sorrows lead us into the company 
 of the afflicted — that we bring, as it were, our own 
 grief into the common stock, and mourn in com- 
 pany with other mourners for our own woe ; but 
 that we, by a willing stooping to their burdens, 
 mourn with other mourners, not for our own sor- 
 rows, but for theirs ; that, in the true meaning of 
 that most expressive word, we sympathise with 
 them — stand down beside them from our own 
 height of health, or mii'th, or abundance of love, 
 in their low estate of sickness, sadness, or bereave- 
 ment. This is the meaning of the exhortation 
 '' Weep with them that weep." 
 
 And (2.) the reason why we need such a com- 
 mand is plain enough. The natural selfishness of 
 our hearts always tends to make us hard to others. 
 ' We have griefs enough of our own' is its secret
 
 FELLOWSHIP IN JOY AND SORROW. 7 
 
 whisper ; 'why should we add theirs to our burden?' 
 'We have few moments enough for pleasure and 
 enjoyment, why should we make them fewer by 
 thus permitting the intrusion of other men's 
 troubles?' 
 
 This is the natural working of our fallen hearts : 
 and where selfishness has grown to be the law of 
 the life, it has even wrought so madly, that we 
 read of an Eastern tyrant who, in his miserable 
 desire to drive away every possible cloud which 
 could dim his own sunshine, punished with death 
 any one who appeared in his presence with those 
 signs of mourning which might haply remind him 
 of the possible advance against himself of some un- 
 known calamity. Now, though it be not so frantic 
 in its demonstration, yet all selfishness is of the 
 same family with this. The common ''passing by" 
 of the sufferer " on the other side," the irritation 
 and fretfulness which the recurring presence of 
 another's grief is too apt^ to provoke in many 
 tempers, — all this is of the same type, and less 
 only in degree. 
 
 Now as all this is the degrading working of 
 our own selfishness, — of that law of corruption 
 which would, if it prevailed, narrow and bind in 
 our souls as in bars of iron, and so thoroughly 
 debase us, — we may see (3.) the purpose of the 
 exhortation. It is a call to each one of us to 
 rouse ourselves from this degradation; to open 
 our hearts to others; to weep with them that 
 weep, that our eyes may be purged by such tears,
 
 8 FELLOWSHir IN JOY AND SORROW. 
 
 and our hearts made larger, truer, and tenderer by 
 such actings of sympathy. 
 
 And now I tliiuk we may see why the "Word of 
 God calls us to rejoice with them that rejoice ; for 
 here, again, what we are bidden to do is not to 
 seek for the materials of our own selfish gratifica- 
 tion in other men's successes, and of our own plea- 
 sure in their rejoicing. It needed no precept of Holy 
 Scripture to teach us that. But what it does bid us 
 do, is to go out of ourselves ; to set ourselves aside ; 
 to rejoice in their joy ; to joy tvith them ; to be 
 a true heart's brother to them ; to be glad because 
 they are happy ; to find the air pleasant, not be- 
 cause some breath of the fragrance of their incense 
 reaches us, but because its sweet cloud wraps them 
 round. This, then, is the meaning of the exhortation, 
 " Eejoice with them that do rejoice ;" and, alas ! 
 it is not natural to us. We see everywhere that 
 it is strange to fallen man ; that the mind needs to 
 be disciplined and trained before it attains fi-eely to 
 it. And the more full of all the means of comfort 
 and instruments of joy is any man's portion, so much 
 the more difiicult is it for him thus to enter really 
 into the feelings of others. Such an one has the 
 greatest need of being met with that caution which 
 was addressed by God to the king of Israel of old, 
 that he watch " lest his heart be lifted up above 
 his brethren." 
 
 For the real hindrance to our thus rejoicing with 
 the joyful is that which we saw hindered us weep- 
 ing with the sorrowful. It is still the selfishness
 
 FELLOWSHIP IN JOY AND SORROW. 9 
 
 of our natural hearts ; their denial of brotherhood. 
 What are the joys of others to us ? If we have our 
 wn joys, why should we turn from them to the far 
 less exciting pleasm^es of others ? Or, if we are in 
 trouble, why must our sadness be made the sadder 
 by their mirth? why must we have songs sung 
 to our heavy hearts ? Oh ! miserable utterance of 
 a contracted soul ! There is no sadder spectacle 
 than the peevishness stirred up in a thoroughly 
 selfish heart by the sight of great happiness in 
 others ; there is no more blessed sight than that 
 of the wounded spirit which is able to rejoice 
 thoroughly in the joy of another, which it well 
 knows is no more for it on earth. So that here, 
 again, we trace the same deep knowledge of our 
 nature in this precept; and we may find, too, in 
 its purpose the same merciful provision for our 
 restoration. 
 
 For until this lesson is learned our hearts are 
 not made thoroughly human, and so fit for that 
 blessed company with perfected humanity in the 
 Person of our blessed Lord Himself, and in those 
 whom He has delivered, which is placed as a bright 
 futm'e before the redeemed of Christ. There is 
 still a flaw somewhere in such, or their hearts too 
 would ring clear; there is something still untune- 
 able within them, and therefore their spirits answer 
 not as yet perfectly to the note which vibrates 
 past them. 
 
 If, then, we ask how we arc to gain this blessed 
 restoration of our nature, surely the first answer is
 
 lO FELLOWSHIP IN JOY AND SORROW. 
 
 that, depending upon God's help, we must in earnest 
 set ourselves to fulfil in act this double precept. 
 For they who do seek to fulfil it will have the 
 secret aid of God's blessed Spirit working with 
 them, moulding their wills and elevating their 
 affections: and then all outAVtird things will be- 
 come to them a healing and an ennobling discipline. 
 The commonest incidents of their daily life will be 
 so. The little trials which meet them in the family 
 from the sorrows and joys, nay, even from the way- 
 wardness and infirmities of those with whom they 
 live, will all help to educate more perfectly their 
 own spirits. In throwing themselves freely into the 
 interests of others ; in bearing with them ; in feeling 
 for them ; in little denials of themselves ; in secret 
 sacrifices of their own will for others, they will 
 meet with all they need under the help of God's 
 grace to attemper and attune their own hearts. 
 And as these common things, so yet more markedly 
 will the great turns of life work for the in this 
 blessed end. Times of joy will tend to soften and 
 purify the heart, if instead of luxuriously concen- 
 trating their sweetness for our private delight, we 
 generously strive to impart to others as we receive 
 ourselves, and to make them partakers of our bless- 
 ings. True love shoots up in the heart at these 
 seasons of great joy, if only they are so used, with 
 a prodigality of growth, even as the tropical earth 
 pours forth its richest abundance of fertility in the 
 glad times of " clear shining after rain." There 
 will be the like discipline in times of sorrow.
 
 FELLOWSHIP IN JOY AND SORROW. I I 
 
 Every sort of sorrow will work in its own way this 
 good end. Disappointments, vexations, pains of 
 body, weakness, weariness, all these, instead of 
 breeding, as they do in the selfish, the low fever 
 of fretfulness, deepen and soften the. heart which 
 takes them meekly from God's hand and yields to 
 them as to the chastenings of a Father's love. But 
 most especially is this the fruit of those great sor- 
 rows which wait upon the parting of the dearest 
 to us from the active ministries of our love : for 
 we may think of them as having passed through 
 the great change, as being now altogether human ; 
 as being free from all remaining imperfections of 
 selfishness, and yet as being indeed near to us, as 
 waiting for the manifested meeting; and so the 
 thought of them in our sadness stirs us up to 
 emulate them in their deliverance, to aspire to their 
 perfection, and to antedate here in perpetual antici- 
 pation the blessedness of the coming reunion. 
 
 Thus does every day as it passes minister as well 
 in its commonest incidents as in its great joys or 
 its heavier trials, to those who will strive so to use 
 them, the means of their enfranchisement ; and the 
 enlarging spirit learns, through the discipline of 
 weeping with them that weep, how to practise that 
 which hereafter shall be all its exercise, "to re- 
 joice with them that do rejoice." 
 
 Finally, in one way more may we each one set 
 ourselves to learn and to practise this ennobling 
 lesson. Beside each one of us here, unseen but 
 most truly present, is He our only Lord, in Whom
 
 12 FELLOWSHIP IN JOY AND SORROW. 
 
 alone of those born of ^Yoman was our humanity 
 from the first altogether perfect. Being God as 
 truly as He is Man, He is all-present every- 
 where, and so in very deed is present with each 
 one of us : being still Man as truly as He is God, 
 He can enter with a brother's heart, unflawcd and 
 ■perfect, into every joy and sorrow of the life in us 
 which He has redeemed with His precious Blood. 
 And as in Him humanity is thus perfect, there 
 is in Him the capacity for perfect sympathy with 
 all. "No note can be struck in any heart the true 
 counterpart of which is not in Him ; and so as per- 
 fect Man He has within Himself the inexhaustible 
 resources of an all-sufficing sympathy. It is from 
 Him, above all, that we must learn sympathy ; it is 
 in close companionship with Him that our natiu-e 
 must be renewed. This mysterious communing, 
 this hidden companionship, above all then let us 
 seek : bidding Him to all our times of joy, in all 
 our sorrows leaning upon Him. For to what is 
 there that we may not bid Him ; what burden is 
 there that we may not rest upon Him ? Ere now 
 He has been bidden to the marriage feast and 
 come with gladness to heighten its joys. And 
 still He will come if He is bidden : come with that 
 cheering, elevating, ennobling, purifying Presence, 
 which shall turn the water of the earth into the 
 wine of the kingdom ; which shall make fleeting 
 joys endure; yea, which shall keep the best till 
 last, and transform the silver links of earthly love 
 into the fine gold of the enduring betrothal and
 
 FELLOWSHIP IN JOY AND SORROW. 1 3 
 
 the everlasting Presence. Oh ! that even now 
 amongst us He may be indeed thus bidden ; that 
 THEY whose lives His blessing is now blending into 
 one, may bow themselves to receive it ; that none of 
 the signs or instruments of outward greatness may 
 hide from them His Presence; that the sweetest 
 voices of earthly affection may not shut out the 
 sound of His voice; that for their sakes, and the 
 sake of this great people, it may be mystically ful- 
 filled amongst us, " And the third day there was 
 a marriage in Cana of Galilee . . . and Jesus was 
 called unto the marriage." 
 
 And as it is in our joys, so is it also in our griefs. 
 Still, if we bid Him, will He be with us in our 
 sorrows ; weeping as He wept once with the sisters of 
 Lazarus ; whispering again to true-hearted mourners, 
 " Thy brother shall rise again, for I am the Resur- 
 rection and the Life ;" saying, as of old to the 
 wondering heart of its best beloved, " He is not 
 dead but sleepeth." For to Him all live ; around 
 Him are the living; in the body or out of the 
 body it matters not : He is the God, not of the 
 dead, but of the living ; and with Him we are with 
 them. Oh ! fruitful, comforting, ennobling com- 
 panionship ; full of present consolation ; heighten- 
 ing every joy ; transfiguring every emotion ; puri- 
 fying the soul which seeks after it, and fitting it 
 indeed in the coming dawn, when all tears shall 
 have been wiped from off all faces and there shall 
 be no weeper with whom to weep, for ever and for 
 evermore to rejoice with them that do rejoice.
 
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