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ADVICE 
 
 TO 
 
 YOUNG MEN 
 
 ON THEIR 
 
 DUTIES AND CONDUCT IN LIFE. 
 
 BY 
 
 T. S. ARTHUR, 
 
 AUTHOR OP (( THE MAIDEN,” “ WIFE,” AND " MOTHER.” 
 
 PHILADELPHIA: 
 
 JOHN E. POTTER AND COMPANYj 
 Nos. 614 and 617 Sansom Street. 
 
I 
 
 Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1860, by 
 T. S. ARTHUR, 
 
 n the Clerk’s Office of the District Court for the Eastern District 
 of Pennsylvania. 
 
PRE FACE 
 
 This book is the result of an application 
 to the writer to prepare a volume addressed 
 to young men. In reflecting upon the sub- 
 ject, after having agreed to write the book, 
 it was assumed that there are two classes of 
 young men — one made up of those who feel 
 the force of good principles, and are in some 
 willingness to act from them, and the other 
 composed of such as are led mainly by their 
 impulses, feelings, passions, and selfish in- 
 terests. And it was also assumed that, as 
 society looks to the former as her regenera- 
 tors, and not to the latter, it would be most 
 useful to present such views of life as would 
 help the former to see and feel the import- 
 ance of their position, and the necessity 
 
4 
 
 TREFACE 
 
 there was for them to act from the highest 
 principles. This volume is therefore ad- 
 dressed to the thinking faculty, and seeks 
 to lead young men to just conclusions, from 
 reflections upon what they are, and what 
 are their duties in society, as integral parts 
 of the common body. It is therefore a 
 serious book, — or, it might be called a 
 thoughtful book, — and should be read in 
 a thoughtful spirit. To those who will 
 thus read it, it is believed that it will prove 
 deeply interesting ; and all whom it inter- 
 ests it must benefit. 
 
 Satisfied that those who read it as it should 
 be read, cannot fail to have their good pur- 
 poses strengthened, and their minds elevated 
 into sounder views of life than usually pre- 
 vail in common society, the writer, having 
 completed his task, dismisses it from his 
 hands, and turns to the consideration of 
 other matters that require his attention. 
 
CONTENTS 
 
 Chapter Pago 
 
 I. Preliminary Remarks 7 
 
 II. Man — his Origin, Nature, and Destiny 10 
 
 III. The Age op Responsibility 19 
 
 IV. A common Error op Young Men 26 
 
 V. Friends and Associates 52 
 
 VI. Improvement op the Mind 59 
 
 VII. Self Education 67 
 
 VIII. Accomplishments 80 
 
 IX. Amusements 88 
 
 X. Self-Government 99 
 
 XI. Indolence and Want op Order 112 
 
 XII. Intimate Friendships 128 
 
 XIII. Home 134 
 
 XIV. Parents 138 
 
 XV. Sisters 146 
 
 XVI. Conduct among Men 151 
 
 XVII. Courage 168 
 
 5 
 
6 CONTENTS. 
 
 Chapter P»g» 
 
 XVIII. Religion 193 
 
 XIX. Bad Habits 200 
 
 XX. Health 214 
 
 XXI. Entering int© Business 230 
 
 XXII. Marriage 243 
 
 XXIIL Conclusion 255 
 
ADYICE TO YOUNG MFN 
 
 chapter I. 
 
 PRELIMINARY REMARKS. 
 
 We solicit, in the beginning, the earnest 
 attention of those for whom we write. We 
 have a purpose in view, which cannot be clear- 
 ly seen and appreciated, unless all that is said 
 be understood and carefully considered. False 
 views of life prevail every where, and especially 
 with those just attaining the age of moral ac- 
 countability. The books that are written for 
 ihe young, the oral precepts that fall from 
 the lips of age, too often give erroneous ideas 
 of man’s true nature and the end of his being 
 There is too great a disposition to offer precept'. 
 *,hat regard only temporal well-doing — to furnish 
 the means by which wealth is acquired — to re- 
 gard mere natural life as of primary importance. 
 Since the days of the adage, “ A penny saved ia 
 
8 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 a peirHji gained,” our people seem to have for- 
 gotten tnat there is something to be saved and 
 gained more precious than even gold or silver. 
 They seem to have forgotten that man has a 
 destiny beyond the attainment of mere wealth. 
 And, as the leading views held and practised 
 upon by the majority of a whole people must 
 be transmitted to, and impressed upon, the minds 
 of the young, and, in turn, influence their whole 
 lives, the natural consequence is, that a large 
 proportion of our young men, as soon as they 
 begin to think and act for themselves, seem to 
 have all ideas and ends merged in the one great 
 pursuit of wealth for its own sake. 
 
 The time seems to have arrived for a deal 
 and strong presentation of the real truth on this 
 important subject. Whether the writer of this 
 volume has the ability to do so, or not, will ap- 
 pear in the sequel. In pursuing his task, his 
 object will be to make his readers not only think 
 with him, but to furnish them with leading truth* 
 that will cause them to think for themselves, and 
 decide for themselves, in all the varied relations 
 of life in which circumstances may place them. 
 Mere precepts for the young are of little use ; 
 they are rarely, if ever, regarded; and it is 
 because they do not appeal to the mind’s rea- 
 soning faculty. They are but abstract enunci- 
 
PRELIMINARY REMARKS. 
 
 9 
 
 ations, that come not into the mind as parts of 
 its own conclusions. What is essential is, that 
 a whole idea of life should be imparted, and the 
 young man made to feel that the correctness of 
 he great result — when the problem is, at last, 
 worked out — will depend as much upon the 
 wisdom of his actions at the outset of life as at 
 any other period, — nay, more so; for the nearer 
 to the beginning of a problem the error lies, the 
 farther will the final result be from the truth. 
 
 Thus much briefly premised, we shall begin 
 at the beginning, and, first of all, speak of man’s 
 origin, nature, and destiny. Without a correct 
 knowledge of these, life-precepts are as likely to 
 be wrong as right, and man is upon the surface 
 of a vast ocean, without helm, chart, or compass. 
 This portion of our work need not be dry and 
 uninteresting : we are sure it will not be so to 
 any who are in a state of mind to derive benefit 
 from a book written for young men. We espe- 
 cially ask for it a thoughtful perusal. 
 
10 
 
 ADVICE Tc YOUNG MEN. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 MAN HIS ORIGIN, NATURE, AND DESTINY. 
 
 The importance of the precept, “ Man, know 
 thyself,” has been felt and acknowledged in all 
 ages, and among all enlightened nations. To 
 know ourselves truly, requires not only the scan- 
 ning of our motives and ends of life, but a more 
 general knowledge of what we are as men. On 
 the subject of man’s origin, nature, and destiny, 
 there is a great contrariety of opinions, even in 
 the Christian world, nearly all of them more or 
 less obscure and unsatisfactory to the rational 
 thinker. Thousands of pages have been written 
 on mental philosophy, the study of which have only 
 tended to lead man deeper and deeper into the 
 mazes of doubt and obscurity ; and system after 
 system has been adopted and rejected, until the 
 human mind, turning from them all with hopeless- 
 ness, if not disgust, is again afloat upon the sea 
 of anxious inquiry. In this state of things, how 
 ‘mportant is it that young men should receive as 
 truth only the truth , even if the portion be but 
 small ! for truth, which nourishes the mind, as 
 
ORIGIN, NATURE, AND DESTINY OF MAN. 11 
 
 food nourishes the body, can only give a healthy 
 maturity, while error, like bad food, destroys spir- 
 itual health, and gives to the spiritual body a 
 diminutive or distorted growth. 
 
 Deeply impressed with the ini portance of the 
 statemen. just made, we shall seek earnestly to 
 guard our work against any false views of man 
 or his duties in life, and to make all that we 
 do say as comprehensive as possible. 
 
 First, then, as to man’s origin. The Lord, 
 who is essential and infinite Love and Wisdom 
 created man a likeness and image of himself, not 
 for his own glory, but in order to make beings 
 who could be happy out of himself. To do this 
 was the impulse of divine Love, and by divine 
 Wisdom the work was done. But it would have 
 been impossible for man to have been a likeness 
 and image of his Creator, unless he were given 
 rationality and freedom ; and with these, as es- 
 sential to their t-Arstence, came the appearance 
 that he had life in himself although the real 
 truth was, he was only a spiritually-organized 
 form, receptive of life. The two constituents of 
 his mind were will and understanding, by which 
 he became a recipient of love and wisdom from 
 the Lord ; his will being the receptacle of love, 
 and his understanding the receptacle of wisdom 
 and from these two constituents, and these alone 
 
12 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN 
 
 he was mart, or an image and likeness of hia 
 Creator. 
 
 In this golden age of man’s existence, all the 
 powers of his mind were in beautiful order, and 
 moved together in perfect harmony. The affec- 
 tions of his will prompted his understanding to 
 the conception of true thoughts, and thus the 
 purposes of his mind were brought forth into 
 action without obstruction ; for good desires 
 were in his will, and true thoughts met them in 
 his understanding, and by both all his life was 
 governed. His face was the index of his mind 
 — the tablet upon which all he felt and thought 
 was written ; and we have good reason to be- 
 lieve that he had no need of oral speech for the 
 conveyance of his ideas, but found language 
 dumb in comparison to the wonderful play of the 
 innumerable muscles of his face and lips, which 
 were in perfect correspondence with all his 
 feelings and thoughts, and gave to them a full 
 and beautiful utterance; his eye, the perfect 
 mirror of his mind, at a single glance sealing 
 his lips into silence. 
 
 This was man’s first state, when he came per- 
 fect from the hand of his Creator. He had 
 rationality and freedom, without which he could 
 not have been a man ; his freedom consisted in 
 his ability to act as if from himself under the 
 
ORIGIN, NATURE, AND DESTINY OF MAN. 13 
 
 appearance that he had life in himself ; while, 
 from reason, he understood and acknowledged 
 that his ability to act was from the Lord, his 
 Creator, and that he had not life in himself, but 
 was only a form receptive of life. Of course 
 in this state he looked upwards in the grate 
 fill acknowledgment of the source whence h( 
 derived life and happiness, and it was the will 
 of his Creator that in this acknowledgment he 
 should ever live; not that he might receive 
 glory — for no act of man’s could add to hit-, 
 glory — but because such an acknowledgmen 
 was absolutely essential to man’s happiness; foi 
 it was the first and highest truth regarding hi? 
 existence. 
 
 From this view, we may easily see man’s 
 danger — the danger of resting in the appear 
 ance as a reality ; of believing that he really 
 had life in himself , instead of being merely 
 recipient of life ; of turning himself from the 
 Lord to self; and of finally believing himself to 
 be as God, knowing good from evil. The result 
 of such a fatal error would be, that man, believ- 
 ing thus of himself, would be inclined to love 
 himself, and think lightly of his fellow-man 
 He would seek his own good, as an end, without 
 reference to the good of his neighbor ; and this 
 wrc-uld quickly produce opposing interests and 
 
14 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 lead on to hatred of all who stood in the was ot 
 the attainment of his ends. And such, alas 
 was the case ; and man declined, by a steady and 
 sure progression, until he lost almost entirely 
 that likeness and image of the Lord in which 
 he was created, and became a likeness and im- 
 age of hell ; or, in other words, of all self-love 
 and evil. 
 
 As age after age passed away, during this 
 melancholy declension, the spirits of evil men 
 left their natural bodies, and, unchanged in 
 nature, met together and associated, according 
 to affinities of evil, in the spiritual world ; 
 and this great congregation of evil spirits is 
 known as hell. The mere laying off of their 
 material bodies, by which they had acted in the 
 material world, changed in no way their nature 
 and ends. While on the earth, they took delight 
 in evil instead of good, and this delight still ruled 
 them, and led them to tempt and seduce from 
 good the yet imbodied spirits of man whenever 
 they could get access to them ; nay, more, their 
 intrusions became at length so great, that even 
 the bodies of men were “ possessed with devils,” 
 and the whole race of mankind was so exposed 
 to their infernal influences, that it was on the 
 eve of perishing. 
 
 In this “ fulness of time,” when man was just 
 
ORIGIN, NATURE, AND DESTINY OF MAN. 15 
 
 about extinguishing in him every good that he 
 had received at his creation, ana on the eve ot 
 perishing in consequence, the Lord himself — 
 “ The mighty God, the everlasting Father, the 
 Prince of Peace” — assumed human nature 
 through a woman, and came down into the con- 
 sciousness of man in his lowest estate of evil, 
 and received in himself all the assaults or 
 temptations of hell that could be made upon 
 those states, and by his own divine power con- 
 quered the evil, and remanded the spirits of 
 darkness to their own gloomy abodes. Thus he 
 became able to save man ; for, assuming a body 
 of flesh and blood, and coming even to the low 
 perceptions of his senses, he could thus take 
 hold of something in him, and lift him out of the 
 deep into which he had fallen. He could save 
 man in temptation, for he had been tempted 
 himself in every point, but without sin. The 
 redemption he wrought was perfect; for, in the 
 fallen nature he had assumed, through a human 
 mother, was the form of every evil that had 
 ruled in the breast of man since his fall; and 
 into these forms came an influx of evils from 
 hell, or, rather, temptations to evil, which were 
 resisted and overcome. Thus the Lord came 
 into the consciousness of every temptation to evil 
 by which any maa, in all coming time, could bs 
 
16 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 assailed, and conquered in that temptation, so 
 that he can now save all men who look to him 
 for aid, no matter how low they may have fallen. 
 
 At the coming of the Lord, men had reached 
 the lowest point in the segment of a circle whose 
 ends were in heaven ; and since that time there 
 has been a slow but sure return ; and this ad- 
 vancement must be permanent; for man now 
 rises from the sensual into the scientific and 
 rational, and finally becomes spiritual and celes- 
 tial, and cannot again be deceived by appear- 
 ances. Whereas, in his creation, he was formed 
 a celestial man, and, when he descended into the 
 sensual region of his mind, was in danger of 
 resting there, as was finally the case, and believ- 
 ing that his earth was fixed and permanent, 
 while the sun was ever changing its place, and 
 revolving around his little centre. 
 
 Thus, in speaking of man’s origin, we have 
 embraced also a view of his nature and destiny, 
 which every thoughtful reader will comprehend. 
 The destiny of mankind, it is clear, is a return 
 to heavenly order and true happiness. Thus it 
 is of the first importance that all should under- 
 stand, and at the same time be made to feel, that 
 each individual owes a debt to the human race 
 which he is bound, by the gravest consideration, 
 to pay. That this is so, a few words will make 
 plain 
 
ORIGIN, NATURE, AND DESTINY OF MAN. 17 
 
 Man’s declension was slow, and consisted in 
 a gradual perversion of the good principles im- 
 planted in him by nature; in other words, the 
 love of the Lord and the neighbor was by de- 
 grees supplanted by a love of self and the world, 
 until the latter held dominion in the human 
 mind. This progress was hereditary. What 
 the parents confirmed in their own minds was 
 transmitted to their offspring, and these, confirm- 
 ing the tendencies to evil which they received 
 by actual life, transmitted them, with increased 
 direfulness, to their children. 
 
 Now, man’s return must be along the same 
 path by which he was led so far away into the 
 wilderness of sin and misery. And, therefore 
 only so far as he contends with and overcomes 
 the hereditary tendencies of his nature to evil, 
 does he thus return, or can he give his children 
 the power, from him, of returning. Every evil 
 propensity that a man fights against and over- 
 comes, instead of indulging, he weakens, and 
 this he transmits with diminished power to his 
 children; and every good principle that he acts 
 from and confirms, he transmits with increased 
 power to his children. From this it may be 
 seen how great a debt man owes to the human 
 race, and how he is bound by the gravest con 
 Biderations to pay that debt. 
 
 2 
 
18 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 In this struggle for the regeneration of the 
 human mind, it is essential to understand how it 
 is conducted. It has been already stated that 
 man, when in the order of his creation, had a 
 will and understanding that acted in unison : 
 what his will desired his understanding brought 
 forth. But since man lost the true likeness and 
 image into which he was created, his under- 
 standing and will have not been in harmony. 
 Man’s will is utterly perverted ; it can never be 
 regenerated; but his understanding still retains 
 the power of elevation into even the light of 
 heaven. He has yet the faculty of understand- 
 ing truth when presented to his mind, and, from 
 this truth, of perceiving its corresponding good. 
 And he is still held in sufficient freedom to 
 choose the good thus presented, and to force 
 himself to act from the truth by which it was 
 made apparent to his mind. In this way, a new 
 will can be gradually formed in the intellectual 
 region of his mind, while the old will, which can 
 never be regenerated, will be laid, with all its 
 evil promptings, into eternal quiescence, and 
 thus man be restored to something of his pris- 
 tine order. 
 
 Thus much by way of fixing the basis upon 
 which our work is to stand. As we stated in 
 the outset, we have a purpose in view in writing 
 
THE AGE OF RESPONSIBILITY. 
 
 19 
 
 his book, and these brief preliminaries were 
 necessary to a full comprehension of the princi- 
 ples we wish to lay down for the government of 
 a young man’s conduct in life, in the various 
 relations he may be called upon to sustain. 
 Our object is, to make him feel that he does not 
 stand alone in the world, and therefore should 
 never permit himself to act from purely selfish 
 principles. The reason we have endeavored to 
 explain, clearly enough, we think, for the com- 
 prehension of every one. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 THE AGE OF RESPONSIBILITY. 
 
 Up to the age of twenty-one years, or to that 
 period when a young man is free from the con- 
 trol of his parents, guardian, or master, his ra- 
 tional mind is not fully developed. He acts 
 from others more than from himself, and others 
 are responsible, to a very great extent, for his 
 actions. But when he becomes a full-grown 
 man, when both mind and body have attained 
 sufficient maturity to enable him to «hink and 
 
20 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 act wisely and efficiently for himself, then he 
 takes the reins of government into his own 
 hands, and becomes entirely responsible for his 
 actions, both as regards human and divine laws. 
 This is the most important period in his whole 
 life ; for the consequences of an error here are 
 felt at every subsequent stage of existence. 
 
 A serious consideration this, and one that 
 ought to press, with no ordinary weight, upon 
 the mind of every young man; and the more 
 especially so when the undeniable fact is an- 
 nounced to him, that scarcely one in ten fail, at 
 this period of their lives, to fall into some error 
 that entails upon after life more or less of dis- 
 ability and unhappiness. 
 
 Calm and sober reflection, and not thoughtless 
 self-indulgence, should distinguish every young 
 man at this time. The destiny of an immortal 
 being, created in the likeness and image of God, 
 is in his hands. Through the intricate mazes of 
 life, by his own wisdom and prudence, — enlight- 
 ened, it is true, from above, if he will but look up, 
 — he must guide this being either to a sun-bright 
 haven at last, or to destruction upon the gloomy 
 shores of despair and misery. Considerations 
 like these are, surely, enough to make the most 
 thoughtless pause, and regard with pi udent 
 caution every footfall in the way of life. But 
 
THE AGE OF RESPONSIBIUT V. 
 
 21 
 
 reflection and prudence need not bring gloom, 
 but cheerful confidence. When a man opens 
 his eyes, and sees that, in a path he was about to 
 walk in with heedless steps, there are innumera- 
 ble dangers, and wisely chooses a better and a 
 safer way, he has cause for emotions of delight, 
 rather than depression. And such is the result 
 with every young man who, when just entering 
 upon a life of freedom and responsibility, wisely 
 reflects, and shuns all the allurements of false 
 pleasures, and the excesses into which all, at this 
 period, are tempted to run. 
 
 A common error into which very many fall at 
 this period, is the belief that they may run into 
 various excesses, and indulge themselves inordi- 
 nately in sensual pleasures for a few years, or 
 during the brighter days of their early spring- 
 time, and, after that, assume the more important 
 and real business of life. This is a most dan- 
 gerous error, and for the reason that it is an 
 immutable law of order in the human mind, that 
 all which precedes in a man’s life goes to make 
 up his character in all its subsequent formations. 
 This can only be seen by those who understand 
 something about the real nature of man, as 
 a spiritually-organized being. To those who 
 think superficially, and only from appearances, 
 the idea of substance and form appertains only to 
 
22 ADVICE TO VOUNG MEN. 
 
 material things, and, so far as man is concerned, 
 to his body only. But the real truth is, man's 
 substantial part is his spirit, while his body is 
 only a form, organized and built up from inert 
 material particles, as a piece of beautiful ma- 
 chinery, by which the true spiritual body can 
 act in the material world It is this spiritual 
 body which is the true man. The material eye, 
 for instance, does not see. It, as matter, has 
 no power of vision ; but it is a window through 
 which the eye of the spirit can look out and see 
 natural objects. The mere closing of this win- 
 dow does not destroy the spiritual eye; it only 
 takes away its medium of sight into the naturaj 
 world. So of the ear, and so of all the exter 
 nal senses ; they are but the avenues through 
 which the senses of the spiritual body take cog- 
 nizance of things in the outer and lower world 
 of matter. The true sight of the spirit is its 
 power to perceive truth, and its sense of hearing, 
 its willingness to obey the truth so perceived. 
 That this is so, all mankind have a common 
 perception. For, when one attempts to present 
 a truth to your understanding, he says, “ Don' 
 you see ? ” And when a father wishes to im- 
 press the necessity of obedience to a precept 
 upon his child, he says, “Do you hear?” The 
 ground of this lies in the fact, as just stated, 
 
THE AGE OF RESPONSIBILITY. 
 
 23 
 
 that there is in the human mind a perception 
 that the spirit’s vision is its power to see truth 
 and its hearing is its willingness to obey. 
 
 From this it may be seen that man’s spiritual 
 Dody is a real something — that it can see and 
 hear, and that the natural body has, really, no 
 eye nor ear, but only organized forms by which 
 the spiritual eyr and ear can see into and 
 hearken in the natural world. Now, if this be 
 true of the eye and the ear, it is true of the 
 whole body in every general and particular thing 
 appertaining to it ; and, as the natural body, 
 which is an outbirth from the spiritual body, is 
 a form beautifully organized in all its parts, and 
 is called a substance as well as a form, is it not 
 clear that the spiritual body is also a substance 
 and a form ? nay, that the only true substantiality 
 is in the spiritual body, which can never be disor- 
 ganized, but which retains its existence and its 
 powers forever? 
 
 Keeping this H view, it may readily be per- 
 ceived that impressions can be made on this 
 spiritual form and substance that will be as last- 
 ing as any thing made upon the body. That 
 this is so, mankind have seen, in all ages, and 
 hence the adage — “Just as the twig is bent, the 
 tree’s inclined ; ” and the thousand wise precepts 
 
24 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN 
 
 in the codes of morality to be found in all na- 
 tions, referring to the power of habit. 
 
 The position here taken is, that the natura 
 body is the material form with which the spiritual 
 body clothes itself, in order to act in the material 
 world ; if this be true, — and we are sure no ra- 
 tional man can for a moment question it, — then 
 we may, by analogy, determine some of the laws 
 which govern the spiritual body, by observing 
 those which govern the natural body. Now, the 
 laws of natural health are those which govern 
 the natural body, and, when observed, all its ma- 
 chinery goes on right ; and it is but a wise infer- 
 ence to say that the laws of spiritual health are 
 those which govern in the spiritual body, and, when 
 observed, spiritual health must be the result. If 
 we disregard the laws of natural health, diseased 
 impressions are made upon the body, more or 
 less apparent, which ever after remain, and show 
 themselves, no matter how careful we may be, in 
 after life, under certain and particular circum- 
 stances, and deprive us of some measure of ability 
 to perform fully our duties or wishes in life. If 
 the laws of health have been grossly abused 
 more serious consequences follow ; and, some- 
 times, men’s whole lives are rendered burdensome, 
 and they, perhaps, unfitted for nearly all activu 
 
THE AGE OF RESPONSIBILITY. 
 
 25 
 
 duties, in consequence. Precisely similar will 
 be the result where the laws of spiritual health 
 have been disregarded. “ What are the laws of 
 spiritual health?” is asked. We answer, the 
 Decalogue contains the laws of spiritual health, 
 as laid down by the Creator of man, who alone 
 can know what is in man, and what laws to es- 
 tablish for his government, in order to secure 
 his happiness. The violation of any one of these 
 laws, even in intention, will bring spiritual dis- 
 ease, as certainly as the violation of any law of 
 natural health will. produce natural disease; and 
 this disease will impress the substance and form 
 of the spiritual body, and produce a change from 
 true order, that no subsequent obedience to right 
 precepts will ever entirely restore. 
 
 It would be easy to show how the indulgence 
 of every inordinate desire, — to do which young 
 men are so strongly tempted, — is a violation of 
 some precept of the Decalogue, and tends to 
 destroy spiritual health ; but to do so, would ex* 
 tend this preliminary part of our work too far, 
 and trench too much upon the province of an 
 abstract spiritual philosophy. What we have al- 
 ready advanced is deemed essential to the for- 
 mation of true ideas in regard to life and its 
 responsibilities, and we cannot but think that its 
 bearin£ will be Ciear’y seen In other parts of 
 
26 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 our work, we will keep in view the laws here 
 laid down, and show their bearing in actual life. 
 
 From what is advanced in this chapter, we 
 think every reflecting young man will feel the 
 necessity of examining his ends, as well as 
 guarding his actions, and be exceedingly careful 
 what impressions are made in the substance ana 
 form of his spirit. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 A COMMON ERROR OF YOUNG MEN. 
 
 The most common error into which young 
 men fall at this era in their lives, — as was inti- 
 mated in the last chapter, — is to consider the 
 age of freedom from the control of others as a 
 period of license for self-indulgence. Far too 
 many run into extremes, and either injure their 
 health, or form habits that ever after stand in the 
 way of virtuous respectability, or success, as pro- 
 fessional or business men. That this is a very 
 serious error, need not here be said. These 
 habits are of various kinds. We will notice one 
 of them in this chapter, as the irost prevalent 
 
A COMMON ERROR OF YOUNG MEN. 2? 
 
 The habit of spending money too freely in 
 the gratification of a host of imaginary wants, is 
 one into which young men of generous minds 
 are too apt to fall. Limited to a small income 
 previously, and compelled to deny themselves at 
 nearly every point, they find it almost impossible 
 to resist the impulse that prompts to self-gratifi- 
 cation, and are thus led to spend, perhaps for 
 years, the entire sum of their earnings, and, 
 more than probable, to run into debt. The folly 
 of this every one can see and acknowledge, and 
 yet too many have not the resolution to act up to 
 their convictions. 
 
 This habit of spending money uselessly has 
 marred the fortunes of more young men than 
 any other cause. It is a weakness that should 
 be firmly and constantly resisted by every 
 one. Money should be considered as a means 
 by which man has power to act usefully in the 
 world, and he ought to endeavor to obtain it 
 with that end in view. The greater a man’s 
 wealth, the broader may be, if he but will it, the 
 sphere of his usefulness. It is true that men 
 do not seek for wealth under the impulse of 
 such high considerations, ancj, in the present 
 condition of the human mind, from causes just 
 explained, it cannot be expected that they should 
 do so. But the first thing a man has to do in 
 
28 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 the work of self-elevation, is to shun what is 
 evil because it is evil. And if a young man, 
 who is constantly tempted to spend his money 
 foolishly, should refrain from doing so from the 
 consideration that it was wrong to waste that by 
 which he might ultimately be useful to his 
 fellows, he will be very apt, in after life, to feel, 
 under all circumstances of expenditure, that he 
 must not be entirely unmindful of the effect of 
 his acts upon others. 
 
 One means for the correction of this fault 
 may be found in a regular account of receipts 
 and expenditures. A young man, whose income 
 was seven hundred and fifty dollars a year, was 
 asked by a friend how much money he had 
 saved. He had been receiving this salary about 
 four years, and had no expenses whatever except 
 those that were personal. 
 
 “ Saved ! ” returned the young man, in sur- 
 prise. “I can’t save any thing out of seven 
 hundred and fifty dollars a year.” 
 
 “ I saved money on a salary of five hundred 
 dollars,” was the friend’s quick reply. 
 
 “ I should be most happy to know your se- 
 cret,” said the other. “ I have tried fifty times 
 to lay up something, but it’s no use.” 
 
 “ What does your boarding cost you'?” 
 ‘‘Three dollars and a half a week.” 
 
A COMMON ERROR OF YOUNG MEN. 29 
 
 “ Or a little over a hundred and eighty dollars 
 a year. Add your washing, and it will make 
 two hundred. Next comes your tailor’s bill. 
 How much is that ? ” 
 
 “ Generally about a hundred and twenty-five 
 dollars.” 
 
 “ Seventy-five more, I suppose, will pay for 
 your boots, and the various little etceteras of 
 clothing not included in your tailor’s bill?” 
 
 ‘ O, yes, fully, I should think.” 
 
 ‘‘Very well. Where are the three hundred 
 and fifty remaining? ” 
 
 “ Dear knows, for I don’t,” was the young 
 man’s reply. 
 
 “ What does your account book say ? ” 
 
 “ Account book ! I don’t keep an account 
 Dook. I never dreamed of such a thing.” 
 
 “ That is strange ! Why, I keep my own cash 
 account as carefully as I do my employer’s.” 
 
 “ I don’t know any particular good that does,” 
 said the young man. “ Keeping an account of 
 your money doesn’t make it go any further.” 
 
 “ O, yes, it does. Keep an account of every 
 item spent for a month, and read it over care- 
 fully on the first of the succeeding one, and my 
 word for it, if you have any disposition to pru- 
 dence in you, it will cause you to be more care- 
 ful of your money ; for you will see there the 
 
30 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 haunting ghosts of too many dollars spent in 
 foolish self-indulgence, the pleasures of which en- 
 dured but for a brief season, and left you a less 
 contented mind than you had previously enjoyed. 
 In a little while, such* account keeping, if you 
 adopt it, will show you where your three hundred 
 and fifty dollars a year have gone. My reason 
 for asking you the question was this : one of the 
 best opportunities for going into a safe and 
 profitable business that I have yet seen, has 
 ust presented itself. To enter into it will re- 
 quire a capital of two thousand dollars. I have 
 laid by a thousand, and fully believed you had 
 accumulated as much, and that jointly we might 
 improve so rare an opportunity. But this, I am 
 sorry to find, is not the case. I must seek for 
 some one else who has the sum that is needed.” 
 
 This lesson the young man laid to heart, and 
 profited by it. From that day, he kept a regular 
 account of his expenses, and soon found that, 
 with the data it afforded, and a little resolution 
 and self-denial, he could lay up money — a thing 
 he had before deemed impossible. 
 
 A good resolution, perhaps the best a young 
 man can form on this subject, is always to live 
 below his income, let it be what it will. It may 
 require, in some cases, a good deal of self-denial 
 to do this ; but such self-denial will be well ie- 
 
A COMMON ERROR OF YOUl'fG MEN. 31 
 
 paid. We know a young man, who, at the age 
 of twenty-two, married, while his income was 
 but ten dollars a week. Instead of renting a 
 whole house and going in debt for furniture, he 
 rented a single room in the house of a friend, 
 with the privilege of the kitchen, for about fifty 
 dollars a year. His resolution had long before 
 been taken that he would always manage to 
 spend less than he received, and he chose this 
 modest style of living as a means of attaining 
 his end. None of his friends or acquaintances 
 thought the less of him for his prudence, but 
 rather commended him. By living thus econom- 
 ically, he was able to lay by a hundred dollars 
 during the first year, and the same for two or 
 three years longer. Then a good opportunity 
 offered for going into business, which was em- 
 braced. Some ten years since that period have 
 elapsed, and he has just retired with a snug little 
 competence of forty or fifty thousand dollars. 
 
 This habit of living up to the income seems 
 to be the bane of all success. The cause of it is 
 not in a small income, but in unsatisfied desires. 
 The young man who spends his salary of four 
 or five hundred dollars, is almost sure to run 
 through every thing he receives when that salary 
 is doubled. The gratification of one desire only 
 makes way for another still more exacting It 
 
32 
 
 ADVICE TO /OUNG MEN 
 
 is, therefore, of the first importance for a young 
 man to guard himself here ; if he do not, he is in 
 danger of forming a habit that will go with him 
 through life, and mar his fairest prospects. The 
 prospects of thousands have been thus marred. 
 
 A still worse error than spending the entire 
 income, and one the effects of which are far more 
 blighting to a young man’s worldly prospects, is 
 that of living beyond the income, either under 
 the doubtful hope that it will be increased next 
 year equal to the deficit of the present, or from 
 the neglect of keeping a careful eye upon the 
 relation existing between receipts and expendi- 
 tures. The most common way in which this 
 going beyond the income occurs, is in making 
 purchases on credit, instead of buying every 
 thing for cash. If a want is felt, and the means 
 of satisfying it are not in hand, the true way is 
 to wait until such means are received, rather than 
 anticipate their receipt by running in debt. At 
 the beginning of a quarter, too many make pur- 
 chases to be paid at its expiration, instead of 
 waiting until its close, and then, with cash in 
 hand, buying just what they want, and no more. 
 Their salaries are received and paid all away for 
 clothes worn, and board due, and they left to 
 anticipate another quarter’s income long before 
 it comes into their hands. 
 
A COMMON ERROR OF YOUNG MEN. 33 
 
 Going in debt for clothing is a very common, 
 but a very foolish practice. No one does it, 
 who is not compelled to pay at least from ten to 
 twenty per cent, more than he would if he always 
 paid the cash down ; and he is, besides, tempted 
 to buy more than he otherwise would, and to 
 choose more expensive materials for his garments. 
 Then, while his six or twelve months’ account 
 is running on toward maturity, he is spending, 
 • little by little, foolishly, the money that ought 
 to be hoarded for its payment ; and when due day 
 comes, he too often finds it impossible to satisfy 
 the large demand against him, unless by borrow- 
 ing from a friend, or getting an advance on his 
 salary. Does all this make him feel any hap- 
 pier ? Is the consciousness of being in debt so 
 very pleasant to a sensitive and honest mind ! 
 One would think that a young man’s natural 
 pride of independence would cause him to shrink 
 from such a position, and use every means in his 
 power to avoid it, instead of going into it with 
 his eyes open, as so many do. 
 
 It is wiser and more honorable for a man to 
 wear his coat three or six months longer, until 
 he have the money with which to buy a new 
 one, than it is to go in debt for the garment, 
 and thus lay a tax upon his future income, or 
 run the risk of not being able to pay for what 
 3 
 
34 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 he has worn, at the time agreed upon A com- 
 mon subject of remark among young men is 
 their tailors’ bills, and the difficulty of paying 
 them. For a young man, with a fixed salary, 
 and only himself to support, to have any tailor’s 
 bill at all, is no good sign, and speaks badly of 
 his habits and future prospects. 
 
 Debt — debt! A young man is mad, we had 
 almost said, to go in debt under any pretext 
 whatever. We remember a bookbinder who, 
 from intemperance, got into debt ; on reforming, 
 he lived on broken crackers, at a cent or two a 
 pound, with tea made in his glue-ketcle — he 
 sleeping at night in the shaving-tub ; and this 
 economical mode of living was continued until 
 he got out of debt. How much better would it 
 have been to have lived thus abstemiously, in 
 order to have kept out of debt, had the neces- 
 sity for so doing existed ! Almost any sacrifice 
 of pride, feeling, and comfort, should be made by 
 a young man, rather than go in debt ; for, once 
 get behindhand, and it seems next to . impossi- 
 ble ever to recover yourself. You may toil early 
 and late, and yet it will seem all in vain ; and if 
 you do, at length, get your feet on firm ground, 
 it will be by the severest struggles, or by what 
 seems a happy accident. 
 
 The facilitv with which young men of fail 
 
A COMMON ERROR OF YOUNG MEN, 35 
 
 character can ge credit, is a great temptation 
 to many, who feel that it is a very pleasant thing 
 to get all they want, even without a dollar in 
 their pockets, and have four, five, or six months 
 given them to pay the bill in. How utterly un- 
 conscious do they seem of the shortness of the 
 period of six months ! They look at it ahead, 
 and it seems afar off, and approaching with but 
 a slow pace. Ere they are aware, however, it is 
 upon them, and, they too often find, upon them 
 much too soon. 
 
 This taxing the efforts of the future to pay 
 for the expenditures of the present, is a folly 
 so apparent that one would think even a child 
 must see and avoid it as a great evil. No one 
 knows what is in the future, nor what will be 
 his future ability to meet even his current ex- 
 penditures, much less to take up the burdens of 
 former times. If in the present we find it hard 
 to provide for all our present wants, surely there 
 should arise a dictate in regard to the future, 
 and a carefulness how we lay upon next year 
 not only its own burdens, but a portion of those 
 which belong to this. Ki w does a young man 
 know, when he contracts a debt to be paid in 
 six months, that long before that time sickness, 
 or the reduction of his income, may not make n 
 very hard for him to meet even his bare expenses 
 
36 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 then much less pay a bill contracted for previous 
 necessities, or, more probably, self-indulgence in 
 something that a wise forethought would have 
 prompted him to do without ? 
 
 Not the least annoying and mortifying of the 
 inseparable accompaniments of debt is the liability 
 to have demands made for money at times when it 
 is utterly impossible to satisfy them. How often 
 is the honest intention hurt, the pride fired, or a 
 hopeful confidence in life chilled, by such sudden 
 and imperative demands ! 
 
 Since writing what precedes in this chapter, a 
 book has been published, entitled “Self-Help,” 
 by Samuel Smiles, author of u The Life of George 
 Stephenson,” from which we make an extract on 
 the subjects of economy, debt, living within the 
 means, and kindred subjects, that is so full of right 
 views that we ask for it a very thoughtful perusal. 
 We also recommend the book to every young man 
 who desires to rise into usefulness and eminent 
 positions. 
 
 “Every man ought so to contrive as to live 
 within his means. This practice is of the very 
 essence of honesty. For if a man do not manage 
 honestly to live within his own means, he must 
 necessarily be living dishonestly upon the means 
 of somebody else. Those who are careless about 
 personal expenditure, and consider merely their 
 
A COMMON ERROR OF YOUNG MEN. 37 
 
 own gratification, without regard for the comfort 
 of others, generally find out the real uses of money 
 when it is too late. Though by nature generous, 
 these thriftless persons are often driven in the end 
 to do very shabby things. They dawdle with their 
 money as with their time ; draw bills upon the 
 future; anticipate their earnings; and are thus 
 under the necessity of dragging after them a load 
 of debts and obligations which seriously affect their 
 action as free and independent men. The loose 
 cash which many persons throw away uselessly, 
 and worse, would often form a basis of fortune and 
 independence for life. These wasters are their 
 own worst enemies, though generally found 
 amongst the ranks of those who rail at the injus- 
 tice of “ the world.” But if a man will not be his 
 own friend, how can he expect that others will ? 
 Orderly men of moderate means have always some- 
 thing left in their pockets to help others; whereas 
 your prodigal and careless fellows who spend all, 
 never find an opportunity for helping anybody. 
 It is poor economy, however, to be a scrub. 
 Narrow-mindedness in living and in dealing is 
 generally short-sighted, and leads to failure. The 
 penny soul, it is said, never came to two-pence. 
 Generosity and liberality, like honesty, prove the 
 best policy after all. Though Jenkinson, in the 
 u Vicar of Wakefield,” cheated his kind-hearted 
 
38 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 neighbor Flamborough in one way or another 
 every year, “ Flamborough/’ he says, “ has been 
 regularly growing in riches, while I have come to 
 poverty and a jail.” And practical life abounds in 
 cases of brilliant results from a course of generous, 
 honest policy. 
 
 " The proverb says that e an empty bag cannot 
 stand upright / neither can a man who is in debt. 
 Debt makes everything a temptation. It lowers 
 a man in self-respect, places him at the mercy of 
 his tradesman and his servant, and renders him a 
 slave in many respects, for he can no longer call 
 himself his own master, nor boldly look the world 
 in the face. It is also difficult for a man who is 
 in debt to be truthful ) hence it is said that lying 
 rides on debt’s back. The debtor has to frame 
 excuses to his creditor for postponing payment of 
 the money he owes him ; and probably also to 
 contrive falsehoods. It is easy enough for a man 
 who will exercise a healthy resolution, to avoid in- 
 curring the first obligation ) but the facility with 
 which that has been incurred often becomes a 
 temptation to a second ; and very soon the unfor- 
 tunate borrower becomes so entangled that no late 
 exertion of industry can set him free. The first 
 step in debt is like the first step in falsehood ; 
 almost involving the necessity of proceeding in the 
 same course, debt following debt, as lie follows 
 
A COMMON ERROR OF YOUNG MEN. 39 
 
 lie. Haydon, the painter, dated his decline from 
 the day on which he first borrowed money. He 
 realized the truth of the proverb, ‘ Who goes a- 
 borrowing, goes a-sorrowing/ The significant 
 entry in his diary is : 1 Here began debt and ob- 
 ligation, out of which I have never been and 
 never shall be extricated as long as I live/ Hay- 
 don had long been accustomed to borrow money 
 from his poor father, which, however, he did not 
 include in his obligations. Far different was the 
 noble spirit displayed by Fichte, who said, when 
 struggling with poverty, 1 For years I have never 
 accepted a farthing from my parents, because 1 
 have seven sisters who are all young, and in part 
 uneducated ; and because I have a father who, 
 were I to allow it, would in his kindness bestow 
 upon me that which belongs by right to his other 
 children/ For the same high-minded reason, 
 Fichte even refused to accept presents from his 
 poor parents. 
 
 “Dr. Johnson held that early debt is ruin. 
 His words on the subject are weighty, and worthy 
 of being held in remembrance. * Do not/ said 
 he, 1 accustom yourself to consider debt only as an 
 inconvenience ; you will find it a calamity. Pov- 
 erty takes away so many means of doing good, 
 and produces so much inability to resist evil, both 
 natural and moral, that it is by all virtuous means 
 
40 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 to be avoided. . . . Let it be your first care, 
 
 then, not to be in any man’s debt. Resolve not 
 to be poor; whatever you have, spend less. Pov- 
 erty is a great enemy to human happiness ; it cer- 
 tainly destroys liberty, and it makes some virtues 
 impracticable and others extremely difficult. Fru- 
 gality is not only the basis of quiet, but of benefi- 
 cence. No man can help others that wants help 
 himself ; we must have enough before we have to 
 spare/ 
 
 “ It is the bounden duty of every man to look 
 his affairs in the face, and to keep an account of 
 his incomings and outgoings in money matters. 
 The exercise of a little simple arithmetic in this 
 way will be found of great value. Prudence re- 
 quires that we shall pitch our scale of living to a 
 degree below our means, rather than up to them ; 
 but this can only be done by carrying out faith- 
 fully a plan of living by which both ends may be 
 made to meet. John Locke strongly advised this 
 course : ‘Nothing/ said he, £ is likelier to keep a 
 man within compass than having constantly before 
 his eyes the state of his affairs in a regular course 
 of account/ The Duke of Wellington kept an 
 accurate detailed account of all the moneys re- 
 ceived and expended by him. 1 1 make a point/ 
 said he to Mr. Gleig, ‘ of paying my own bills, 
 and I advise every one to do the same ; formerly, 
 
A COMMON ERROR OF YOUNG MEN. 41 
 
 I used to trust a confidential servant to pay them, 
 but I was cure.d of that folly by receiving one 
 morning, to my great surprise, duns of a year or 
 two’s standing. The fellow had speculated with 
 my money, and left my bills unpaid.’ Talking 
 of debt, his remark was, 1 It makes a slave of a 
 man. I have often known what it was to be in 
 want of money, but I never got into debt.’ 
 Washington was as particular as Wellington was, 
 in matters of business detail ; and it is a remark- 
 able fact, that he did not disdain to scrutinize the 
 smallest outgoings of his household — determined 
 as he was to live honestly within his means — even 
 while holding the high office of President of the 
 American Union. 
 
 “ Admiral Jervis, Earl St. Vincent, has told the 
 story of his early struggles, and, amongst other 
 things, of his determination to keep out of debt. 
 1 My father had a very large family,’ said he, 
 1 with limited means. Tie gave me twenty pounds 
 at starting, and that was all he ever gave me. 
 After I had been a considerable time at the sta- 
 tion [at sea], I drew for twenty more, but the bill 
 came back protested. I was mortified at this re- 
 buke, and made a promise which I have ever kept, 
 that I would never draw another bill without a cer- 
 tainty of its being paid. I immediately changed my 
 mode of living, quitted my mess, lived alone, and 
 
42 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 took up the ship’s allowance, which I found quite 
 sufficient; washed and mended my own clothes; 
 made a pair of trousers out of the ticking of my 
 bed ; and having by these means saved as much 
 money as would redeem my honor, I took up my 
 bill ; and from that time to this I have taken care 
 to keep within my means.’ Jervis for six years 
 endured pinching privation, but preserved his in- 
 tegrity, studied his profession with success, and 
 gradually and steadily rose by merit and bravery 
 to the highest rank. Samuel Drew’s first lesson 
 in economy is thus described by himself : ‘ When 
 I was a boy, I somehow got a few pence, and 
 coming into St. Austell, on a fair-day, laid out all 
 on a purse. My empty purse often reminded me 
 of my folly : and the recollection has since been 
 as useful to me as Franklin’s whistle was to him.’ 
 “ It is a great point for young men to begin 
 well ; for it is in the beginning of life that that 
 system of conduct is adopted which soon assumes 
 the force of habit. Begin well, and the habit of 
 doing well will become quite as easy as the habit 
 of doing badly. Well begun is half ended, says 
 the proverb ; and a good beginning is half the 
 battle. Many promising young men have irre- 
 trievably injured themselves by a first false step 
 at the commencement of life ; while others of 
 much les3 promising talents, have succeeded sim- 
 
A COMMON ERROR OF YOUNG MEN. 43 
 
 ply by beginning well, and going onward. The 
 good practical beginning is, to a certain extent, a 
 pledge, a promise, and an assurance, of the ulti- 
 mate prosperous issue. There is many a poor 
 creature, now crawling through life, miserable 
 himself and the cause of sorrow to others, who 
 might have lifted up his head and prospered, if, 
 instead of merely satisfying himself with resolu- 
 tions of well-doing, he had actually gone to work 
 and made a good practical beginning. 
 
 “ Too many are, however, impatient of results. 
 They are not satisfied to begin where their fathers 
 did, but where they left off. They think to enjoy 
 the fruits of industry without working for them. 
 They cannot wait for the results of labor and ap- 
 plication, but forestall them by too early indul- 
 gence. A worthy Scotch couple, when asked how 
 their son had broken down so early in life, gave 
 the following explanation : 1 When we began life 
 together, we worked hard, and lived upon porridge 
 and such like, gradually adding to our comforts 
 as our means improved, until we were able at 
 length to dine off a bit of roast meat, and some- 
 times a boilt chuckie (or fowl) ; but as for Jock, 
 our son, he began where we had left off — he began 
 wi’ the chuckie first.’ The same illustration will 
 apply to higher conditions of life than that of this 
 humble pair. 
 
44 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 11 Mr. Hume hit the mark when he once stated 
 in the House of Commons — though his words were 
 followed by ‘ laughter’ — that the tone of living 
 in England is altogether too high. Middle class 
 people are too apt. to live up to their incomes, if 
 not beyond them ; affecting a degree of ‘ style’ 
 which is most unhealthy in its effect upon society 
 at large. There is an ambition to bring up boys 
 as gentlemen, or rather 1 genteel’ men; though 
 the result frequently is, only to make them gents. 
 They acquire a taste for dress, style, luxuries, and 
 amusements, which can never form any solid 
 foundation for manly or gentlemanly character ; 
 and the result is, that we have a vast number of 
 gingerbread young gentry thrown upon the world, 
 who remind one of the abandoned hulls some- 
 times picked up at sea, with only a monkey on 
 board. 
 
 “ There is a dreadful ambition abroad for being 
 1 genteel.’ We keep up appearances, too often 
 at the expense of honesty; and, though we may 
 not be rich, yet we must seem to be so. We must 
 be ‘ respectable,’ though only in the meanest 
 sense — in mere vulgar outward show. We have 
 not the courage to go patiently onward in the con- 
 dition of life in which it has pleased God to call 
 us ; but must needs live in some fashionable state 
 to which we ridiculously please to call ourselves, 
 
A COMMON ERROR OF YOUNG MEN. 45 
 
 and all to gratify the vanity of that unsubstantial 
 genteel world. of which we form a part. There is 
 a constant struggle and pressure for front seats in 
 the social amphitheatre; in the midst of which all 
 noble self-denying resolve is trodden down, and 
 many fine natures are inevitably crushed to death. 
 What waste, what misery, what bankruptcy, come 
 from all this ambition to dazzle others with the 
 glare of apparent worldly success, we need not de- 
 scribe. The mischievous results show themselves 
 in a thousand ways — in the rank frauds committed 
 by men who dare to be dishonest, but do not dare 
 to seem poor; and in the desperate dashes at for- 
 tune, in which the pity is not so much for those 
 who fail, as for the hundreds of innocent families 
 who are so often involved in their ruin. 
 
 “ The late Sir Charles Napier in taking leave 
 of his command in India, did a bold and honest 
 thing in publishing his strong protest, embodied 
 in his last General Order to the officers of the In- 
 dian army, against the 1 fast’ life led by so many 
 young officers in that service, involving them in ig- 
 nominious obligations. Sir Charles strongly urged, 
 in that famous document — what had almost been 
 lost sight of — that ‘ honesty is inseparable from 
 the character of a thorough-bred gentleman and 
 that 1 to drink unpaid-for champagne and unpaid- 
 for beer, and to ride unpaid-for horses, is to be a 
 
46 
 
 ADVICE TO TOTJNG MEN. 
 
 cheat, and not a gentleman/ Men who lived be- 
 yond their means, and were summoned, often by 
 their own servants* before Courts of Requests for 
 debts contracted in extravagant living, might be 
 officers by virtue of their commissions, but they 
 were not gentlemen. The habit of being con- 
 stantly in debt, the commander-in-chief held, 
 made men grow callous to the proper feelings of a 
 gentleman. It was not enough that an officer 
 should be able to fight ; that any bull-dog could 
 do. But did he hold his word inviolate — did he 
 pay his debts ? These were among the points of 
 honor which, he insisted, illuminated the true 
 gentleman’s and soldier’s career. As Bayard was 
 of old, so would Sir Charles Napier have all British 
 officers to be. He knew them to be 1 without 
 fear,’ but he would also have them ‘without re- 
 proach.’ There are, however, many gallant young 
 fellows, both in India and at home, capable of 
 mounting a breach on an emergency amidst belch- 
 ing fire, and of performing the most desperate 
 deeds of valor, who nevertheless cannot or will not 
 exercise the moral courage necessary to enable 
 them to resist a petty temptation presented to 
 their senses. They cannot utter their valiant 
 ‘No,’ or ‘I can’t afford it,’ to the invitations 
 of pleasure and self-enjoyment; and they are found 
 
A COMMON ERROR OF YOUNG MEN. 47 
 
 ready to brave death rather than the ridicule of 
 their companions. 
 
 “ The young man, as he passes through life, 
 advances through a long line of tempters ranged 
 on either side of him; and the inevitable effect of 
 yielding, is degradation in a greater or less degree. 
 Contact with them tends insensibly to draw away 
 from him some portion of the divine electric ele- 
 ment with which his nature is charged ; and his 
 only mode of resisting them is to utter and to act 
 out his ‘No* manfully and resolutely. He must 
 decide at once, not waiting to deliberate and 
 balance reasons; for the youth, like ‘ the woman 
 who deliberates, is lost/ Many deliberate, with- 
 out deciding ; but 1 not to resolve, is to resolve/ 
 A perfect knowledge of man is in the prayer, 
 1 Lead us not into temptation/ But temptation 
 will come to try the young man’s strength : 
 and once yielded to, the power to resist grows 
 weaker and weaker. Yield once, and a portion 
 of virtue has gone. Resist manfully, and the first 
 decision will give strength for life; repeated, it 
 will become a habit. It is in the outworks of the 
 habits formed in early life that the real strength 
 of the defence must lie ; for it has been wisely or- 
 dained that the machinery of moral existence 
 should be carried on principally through the 
 medium of the habits, so as to save the wear and 
 
48 
 
 ADVICE TO YOt/NG MEN. 
 
 tear of the great principles within. Tt is good 
 habits, which insinuate themselves into tlfe 
 thousand inconsiderable acts of life that really 
 constitute by far the greater part of man’s moral 
 conduct. 
 
 “ Hugh Miller has told how, by an act of youth- 
 ful decision, he saved himself from one of the 
 strong temptations so peculiar to a life of toil. 
 When employed as a mason, it was usual for his 
 fellow-workmen to have an occasional treat of 
 drink, and one day two glasses of whiskey fell to 
 his share, which he swallowed. When he reached 
 home, he found, on opening his favorite book, 
 1 Bacon’s Essays,’ that the letters danced before 
 his eyes, and that he could no longer master the 
 sense. ‘ The condition,’ he says, ‘ into which I 
 had brought myself was, I felt, one of degradation. 
 I had sunk, by my own act, for the time to a 
 lower level of intelligence than that on which it 
 was my privilege to be placed \ and though the 
 state could have been no very favorable one for 
 forming a resolution, I in that hour determined 
 that I should never again sacrifice my capacity of 
 intellectual enjoyment to a drinking usage ) and 
 with God’s help, I was enabled to hold by the de- 
 termination.’ It is such decisions as this that 
 often form the turning-points in a man’s life, and 
 furnish the foundation of his future character. 
 
A COMMON ERRCR OF YOUNG MEN. 49 
 
 And this rock, on which Hugh Miller might have 
 been wrecked, if he had not at the right moment 
 put forth his moral strength to strike away from 
 it, is one that youth and manhood alike need to 
 be constantly on their guard against. It is about 
 one of the worst and most deadly, as well as ex- 
 travagant, temptations which lie in the way of 
 youth. Sir Walter Scott used to say, ‘ that of all 
 vices drinking is the most incompatible with great- 
 ' ness/ Not only so, but it is incompatible with 
 economy, decency, health, and honest living. 
 When a youth cannot restrain, he must abstain. 
 Dr. Johnson's case is the case of many. He said, 
 referring to his own habits, ( Sir, I can abstain ; 
 but I can't be moderate.' 
 
 “ But to wrestle vigorously and successfully 
 with any vicious habit, we must not merely be 
 satisfied with contending on the low ground of 
 worldly prudence, though that is of use, but take 
 stand upon a higher moral elevation. Mechanical 
 aids, such as pledges, may be of service to some, 
 but the great thing is to set up a high standard 
 of thinking and acting, and endeavor to strengthen 
 and purify the principles, as well as to reform the 
 habits. For this purpose a youth must study 
 himself, watch his steps, and compare his thoughts 
 and acts with his rule. The more knowledge of 
 
 himself he gains, the humbler will he be, and 
 
 4 
 
50 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 perhaps the less confident in his own strength. 
 But the discipline will be found most valuable 
 which is acquired by resisting small present 
 gratifications to secure a prospective greater and 
 higher one. It is the noblest work in self-educa- 
 tion — for 
 
 1 Real glory 
 
 Springs from the silent conquest of ourselves, 
 
 And without that the conqueror is nought 
 But the first slave.’ 
 
 “ Many popular books have been written for the 
 purpose of communicating to the public the grand 
 secret of making money. But there is no secret 
 whatever about it, as the proverbs of every nation 
 abundantly testify. ‘ Many a little makes a meikle/ 
 ‘ Take care of the pennies and the pounds will 
 take care of themselves/ ‘ A penny saved is a 
 penny gained/ ‘ Diligence is the mother of good- 
 luck/ ‘No pains no gains/ ‘No sweat no sweet/ 
 ‘Sloth, the key of poverty/ ‘Work, and thou 
 shalt have/ ‘ He who will not work, neither 
 shall he eat/ ‘ The world is his, who has patience 
 and industry/ ‘ It is too late to spare when all 
 is spent/ ‘ Better go to bed supperless than rise 
 in debt/ ‘The morning hour has gold in its 
 mouth/ ‘ Credit keeps the crown of the cause- 
 way/ Such are specimens of the proverbial philo- 
 sophy, embodying the hoarded experience of many 
 
A COMMON ERROR OF YOUNG MEN. 51 
 
 generations, as to the best means of thriving in 
 the world. They were current in people's mouths 
 long before books were invented ; and like other 
 popular proverbs, they were the first codes of 
 popular morals. Moreover, they have stood the 
 test of time, and the experience of every day still 
 bears witness to their accuracy, force, and sound- 
 ness. The proverbs of Solomon are full of wisdom, 
 as to the force of industry, and the use and abuse 
 of money : 1 He that is slothful in work is brother 
 to him that is a great waster.' 1 Go to the ant, 
 thou sluggard ; consider her ways and be wise.' 
 Poverty, he says, shall come upon the idler ( as 
 one that traveleth, and want as an armed man •' 
 but of the industrious and upright, 1 The hand of 
 the diligent maketh rich.' ( He who will not 
 plough by reason of the cold, shall beg in harvest, 
 and have nothing.' 1 The drunkard and the glut- 
 ton shall come to poverty ; and drowsiness shall 
 clothe a man with rags.' 1 The slothful man says 
 there is a lion in the streets.' 1 Seest thou a man 
 diligent in his business ? he shall stand before 
 kings.' But above all ‘ It is better to get wisdom 
 than gold ) for wisdom is better than rubies, and 
 all the things that may be desired are not to be 
 compared to it.' " 
 
 “ Simple industry and thrift will go far toward 
 making any person of ordinary working faculty 
 
 U t OF tlL LIB. 
 
52 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 comparatively independent in means. Even a 
 working man may be so, provided he will care- 
 fully husband his resources, and watch the little 
 outlets of useless expenditure. A penny is a 
 very small matter, yet the comfort of thousands 
 of families depends upon the proper spending and 
 saving of pennies.” 
 
 We need not add a single word to give force to 
 this admirable presentation of the subject of thrift 
 as connected with carefulness, economy, and self- 
 denial. 
 
 CHAPTER Y. 
 
 FRIENDS AND ASSOCIATES. 
 
 A WANT of prudence in the use of money, 
 at the beginning, may become confirmed into 
 habits that will mar a man’s fortunes for life, 
 but a want of due caution in regard to our asso- 
 ciates is fraught with consequences far more 
 direful. The effects of the first error are felt 
 mainly in the inconveniences and disabilities of 
 natural life ; but the effects of the latter reach 
 
FRIENDS AND ASSOCIATES. 
 
 53 
 
 Tar deeper, and impress themselves upon man’s 
 spiritual and substantial part. 
 
 The laws of association are governed by men- 
 tal and moral — or, to speak more correctly 
 spiritual — affinities, and are based upon the qual- 
 ities of mind and heart. The good are attracted 
 toward each other, and the same thing occurs 
 with the evil, when reciprocal interchanges of 
 thoughts and feelings take place. Now, in every 
 society of either the good or the evil, there is a 
 sphere of the quality of that society pervading 
 the whole ; and all who come into it, and volun- 
 tarily remain there, are more or less strongly af- 
 fected by this sphere, and think and feel with 
 the rest. Let a man, who has a respect for order 
 and obedience to the laws, go into a mob, and 
 voluntarily remain there for a time, and he will 
 be surprised to find his liveliest sympathies on 
 the side of mob law; and the reason of it is, he 
 feels the sphere of the quality of that mob’s af- 
 fections — he is in it, and breathes it, and feels 
 an impulse to act from it. Who does not from 
 his heart condemn the reprehensible practice of 
 steamboat racing, for instance? yet who has evei 
 stood upon the deck of a noble boat during a 
 trial of speed with another boat of nearly equal 
 or superior capacity, and among a crowd of 
 eager spectators, that has not forgotten all dan- 
 
54 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 ger and waived all disposition to censure the 
 officers of the boat, in his sympathy with the 
 general feeling? 
 
 From these two instances may clearly be seen 
 the great importance of choosing, with care, our 
 associates. If we mingle with those who make 
 light of both human and divine laws, we shall be 
 led into the same error, and sink, instead of 
 rising, in the scale of moral excellence. But if 
 ‘ we choose more wisely our companions, we shall 
 not only be elevated ourselves, but help to ele- 
 vate others. 
 
 In speaking of the origin, nature, and destiny 
 of man, we showed how, after attaining the low- 
 est point in the circle of declension from good, 
 a return to true order had commenced, and had 
 been in progress now for nearly two centuries. 
 And we also briefly alluded, in another place, to 
 the fact, that the commencement of every man’s 
 duties in aiding this return began at the age of 
 responsibility, or when he became freed from 
 the trammels of minorship. And we will here 
 state, that only just so far as each man elevates 
 himself by refraining from all evil acts, does he, 
 or can he, do any thing for the general return to 
 true order. He may build churches, and send 
 forth missionaries, and be devout in his obser- 
 vances of all religious ordinances ; but still he has 
 
FTtlENDS AND ASSOCIATES. 
 
 55 
 
 done nothing in tins great work, unless he have 
 actually shunned evils in his own life, as sins. 
 If this be done, he has really and truly removed 
 evil in the world, and made way for the influx 
 of good. 
 
 Keeping all this in view, — the whole subject 
 of his duties and his danger, — every young man 
 may see how much depends upon his choice of 
 associates. If he mingle with those who are gov 
 erned by right principles, his own good purposes 
 will be strengthened, and he will strengthen oth- 
 ers in return. But if he mingle with those who 
 make light of virtue, and revel in selfish and 
 sensual indulgences, he will find his own respect 
 for virtue growing weaker, and he will gradually 
 become more and more in love with the grosser 
 enjoyments of sense, that drag a man downward, 
 instead of lifting him upward, and throw a mist 
 of obscurity over all his moral perceptions. 
 
 It not unfrequently happens, that young men 
 — either from feeling the dangers attendant upon 
 associations with others, or from a natural disin- 
 clination for society — seclude themselves, and 
 t ake for companions books and their own 
 choughts, becoming hermits in the very midsf 
 of society. This is an error that effectually pre- 
 rents a healthy development of character. One 
 of the first laws of our being is the law of associ* 
 
56 
 
 ADV./E TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 ation, md whoever disregards it, disregards not 
 only his own, but the common good. Society is 
 a man in a larger form, and we are all members, 
 and must act in concert with the rest, and do 
 our duty to the whole, or we shall find ourselves 
 — like a hand that lies inactively appropriating 
 the life-blood that flows into it, without doing 
 any thing for the whole body — gradually losing 
 our power, and withering away into mental im* 
 potency. 
 
 That society is a man in a larger form, may 
 be seen on a moment’s reflection. And as this 
 is a very important truth, upon the right un- 
 derstanding of which the health of society de- 
 pends, we will here endeavor to make it apparent. 
 The common perception that it is so, causes the 
 king, or supreme officer in a government, to be 
 called the head of the nation. 
 
 It is known that no two men are precisely 
 alike in appearance, disposition, or ability ; that 
 no two men are able to do the same thing with 
 equal skill ; and it is also known that there is 
 some one thing in which every particular man 
 can excel his fellow, if he will but direct to that 
 thing all the powers of both his mind and body 
 One man comes into the province of the head 
 and his chief delight and activities consist in 
 a regard to things of government, either in the 
 
FRIENDS AND ASSOCIATES. 
 
 57 
 
 affairs cf the nation, as a whole, or in some one 
 of its thousand subdivisions into lesser associa- 
 tions. He sees ends, causes, and effects far 
 more clear y than his neighbor, who may be, 
 perhaps, in the province of the hand, and ever 
 ready to execute what others plan. The one is 
 a man of thought, the other of execution, and 
 they act in harmony in the attainment of the 
 general good ; one is not more honorable than 
 another, except so far as he does his appropriate 
 work more faithfully. It would be an interesting 
 task to trace here the correspondence between 
 the attributes and functions of common society, 
 and those of the individual man ; but a mere dec- 
 laration of the fact, with the simple and appa- 
 rent illustration of it that we have given, will 
 cause it to strike almost every one as true, and 
 enable every one to trace out this correspondence 
 for himself. But, if there are any who cannot 
 comprehend what has been assumed in regard to 
 society being a man in a larger form, let them 
 consider this plain proposition. Society is an ag- 
 gregate of individual men, and must, therefore, 
 be the complex of those qualities, attributes, 
 wants, and abilities, which appertain to individ- 
 ual men ; consequently, society is a greater man, 
 and must be sustained in health by an observance 
 of the laws which preserve the individual. 
 
 \ 
 
58 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 The conclusion arrived at in the .ast sentence 
 is what we are particularly desirous of impressing 
 upon the minds of such of our readers as feel 
 inclined to separate themselves from society, and 
 live in se fish seclusion. All the members of the 
 body act in harmony : the eye sees not for itself ; 
 the ear hears not for itself ; the hand works not 
 for itself; but all labor for the common good, 
 while each part is sustained from the whole. If 
 any part ceases to perform its functions, that part 
 at once begins to suffer decay ; its muscles 
 shrink, its veins and arteries decrease in volume, 
 the blood circulates feebly through it; it be- 
 comes weak and helpless, and affects the whole 
 body with disease more or less serious, as the 
 part approaches or is more remote from the 
 seat of life. Just such will be the effect pro- 
 duced in every case where a man deliberately 
 withdraws himself from the uses of society; and 
 the more serious will be the result, the higher the 
 function he is qualified to fill. The duty of so- 
 cial intercourse is not so imperative as the duty 
 of performing faithfully the work of our office in 
 life, be it what it may. Derelictions here, pro- 
 duce the worst consequences. But, even where a 
 man labors with diligence in his ordinary calling, 
 and is faithful to all men in it, seclusion from 
 friendly intercourse with his fellows will seriously 
 
IMPROVEMENT OF THE MIND. 
 
 59 
 
 injure him, for it will prevent the development 
 of those social « irtues so essenti; 1 to the coun- 
 teraction of that selfishness which is ever leading 
 us to see no good in others, and to have no re- 
 gard for others’ happiness. So long as this is 
 felt, we make no progression whatever in the as- 
 cending circle of return to true order, and do 
 nothing that really aids others in a similar pro- 
 gression. 
 
 Let every young man, then, seek for associa- 
 tions in life ; but let him be exceedingly careful 
 how he make his selection. Almost every thing 
 depends upon its being done with prudence. 
 
 CHAPTER VI 
 
 IMPROVEMENT OF THE MIND. 
 
 No truth in science or morals, nor any skill oi 
 accomplishment which a man obtains, is ever lost 
 to him. Some time in his life he will find it use- 
 ful. Youth is the season of acquirement, and 
 maturer years the time of action; and the action 
 of maturei years will be pe fect or imperfect m 
 an exact ratio with our iarlier acquirements. 
 
60 
 
 ADYICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 As but few young n.en venture upon the unocr 
 tain experiment of business immediately on be- 
 coming of age, most of them have several years 
 of freedom from its absorbing cares, and an op- 
 portunity for study, in which many things may 
 be learned, that will, some time in after life, be 
 found of great importance. The character of 
 these studies should be governed very much by 
 the particular calling in which a young man is 
 engaged. As, for instance, if he have chosen 
 commercial pursuits, he will find in an acquire- 
 ment of a knowledge of the modern languages 
 a very important means of future advancement, 
 If honest and competent as a clerk, he may be 
 selected as best fitted, from his acquaintance 
 with German, French, or Spanish, to conduct a 
 voyage as supercargo, that will not only mate- 
 rially increase his income, but give him an oppor- 
 tunity of seeing foreign nations and coming into 
 actual business contact with them — that most 
 important means of enlarging our ideas, correct- 
 ing false impressions, and maturing our judgments 
 in those matters of the world that are so essential 
 to success. And so of every other pursuit or 
 calling in which a young man may be engaged. 
 Some particular branch of information will be 
 found to aid materially his advancement therein, 
 and secure his f ture well-doing. How to direct 
 
IMPRO\ EMENT OF THE MIND. 01 
 
 aright his efforts, every one must decide for him- 
 self, from the circumstances of his own position. 
 
 But even where no means of using the infor- 
 mation proposed to be obtained is presented to 
 the mind, every opportunity for improvement 
 should be embraced, and those branches of 
 knowledge cultivated that accord best with the 
 tastes and inclinations. One or two hours of 
 well-directed study, each day, will furnish the 
 mind, in a few years, with a vast amount of in- 
 formation on all subjects, not a single item of 
 which will be valueless, but, some time in life, 
 be of use to the possessor. 
 
 Books of facts and books of principles should 
 make by far the larger portion of a young man’s 
 reading, and works of fancy and fiction be re- 
 sorted to only as mental recreations, or the 
 means of improving the taste. The first are 
 essential to the formation of his rational mind ; 
 they contain the food by which it is nourished, 
 and from which it grows into maturity and vigor. 
 If, instead of this kind of reading, mere fiction 
 be resorted to, a puny intellectual growth will 
 be the consequence, and, instead of there being 
 the soundness of true mental force and discrimi- 
 nation, there will be only the weakness of a 
 trifling sentimentality. History, biography, and 
 travels, furnish the mind with the main facts to 
 
62 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUN S MEN. 
 
 be obtained by mere read ng, while the abstruse? 
 facts of science, even more necessary than these 
 to be known, must be acquired by something 
 more than this superficial mode — by patient 
 and laborious study ; but this patience and labor 
 receive a rich reward. Another and equally im- 
 portant branch of reading is that of mental and 
 moral philosophy. There is danger here of ac- 
 quiring false views; for these abound in nearly 
 every philosophical work extant. History re- 
 cords the naked facts that have transpired ; biog- 
 raphy tells the story of a man’s life; and the book 
 of travel opens up to us the manners, customs, 
 and peculiarities of other nations. We read 
 them all, and form our own conclusions from the 
 facts stated. But books of philosophy come to 
 us as grave teachers, with precepts for our gov- 
 ernment in actual life. They assume to under- 
 stand the constituents of the human mind, and 
 to lay down laws for its government. Of these 
 books there are many, and all with systems more 
 or less variant with each other. They cannot all 
 be true, of course. “ What, then, am I to do 1 
 Who is to lead me into a true system of philoso- 
 phy'?” we hear asked; and we answer, “Your 
 own reason, guided by an earnest desire for the 
 truth for its own sake.” Prove all things, and 
 hold fast that which is good 
 
IMPROVEMENT OF THE MIND. 
 
 63 
 
 This, at first sight, may seem very unsatisfac- 
 tory kind of advice ; but it is the only advice we 
 can conscientiously give. No man can truly 
 believe any thing that he does not understand ; 
 and therefore nothing can be truth to him that 
 does not come within the scope of his own 
 reason. Systems of philosophy, when presented 
 to him, ought to be examined ; but nothing that 
 they advance should be received as truth, unless 
 his own rationality approve. The test of all 
 truth is its ability to lead to good. To take a 
 thing for granted because it is gravely stated as 
 truth by a man who has the reputation of being 
 a great philosopher, is the worst of folly. Even 
 if the proposition be true, it is a truth to no one 
 unless it be rationally perceived. A man may 
 assent to it, but it is not a living, but only a dead 
 assent. He is none the wiser. 
 
 As the precept, “ Man, know thyself,” is to 
 all one of vital moment, and as no man can 
 properly know himself unless he understand 
 something of his mental and moral nature, we 
 will make a few plain statements on the subject, 
 from which any one may derive clear ideas, and 
 be able to understand his own mental operations, 
 and the laws that govern them. Such a knowl- 
 edge will enable him to separate the wheat from 
 
64 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 the chaff in books, and store up the wheat in 
 the garner of his innermost thoughts. 
 
 The mind of man is threefold. It consists of 
 affection, thought, and power; or will, undei 
 standing, and action. The will is man’s love, oi 
 very life, the moving impulse of his being; his 
 understanding gives a form to this affection, 
 clothing it in thoughts ; and from both together 
 flows forth activity. In the will of man, which is 
 his love, or life, resides his ends ; these work by 
 his understanding, or reasoning faculty, in the 
 procurement of means to their gratification ; and 
 when all is prepared, from both flows forth activi- 
 ty in real life. It will require but little reflection 
 to make this clearly apparent. A man has some 
 end in view, which is a desire for something : 
 this is the first impulse he feels. He never 
 thinks first, but always feels or desires first, and 
 thought is but the consequence. As just said, 
 a man has some end in view, which is a desire 
 for something ; immediately his reasoning powers 
 awake, and eagerly search about for the means 
 by which that end may be obtained ; but still a 
 man might desire forever, and think forever, and 
 no effect would be produced, if both affection 
 and thought did not consummate themselves in 
 action. In the erection of a house, the firsl 
 
IMPROVEMENT OF THE MIND. 
 
 <55 
 
 thing is a desire for a building suitable for a 
 certain purpose ; then the understanding takes 
 up the matter, and wisely determines what is to 
 be done, and decides upon tht best modes of 
 doing it; and, lastly, all the machinery required 
 is put in operation, and the building is com- 
 pleted, the end accomplished. 
 
 That all this is true, the simplest mind can 
 see at a glance. Now, we wish further to say, 
 that whatever be the quality of the mind’s affec- 
 tion, such will be the quality of the thoughts that 
 are prompted by this affection, and such the 
 quality of the ultimate action; if good, good; if 
 bad, bad. An evil will acts by false thoughts, 
 and produces evil actions ; while a good will acts 
 by true thoughts, and produces good actions. 
 
 This philosophy of the human mind, simple 
 and comprehensive as it is, is now seen to be 
 eminently practical. It causes a man to think 
 well of his ends ; and the quality of these he can 
 see in his actions, for they reflect the ends which 
 govern a man as clearly as a mirror reflects his 
 face. If the act be wrong, the end in view, from 
 which that action flowed as a natural result 
 must be wrong also ; for a sweet fountain cannot 
 send forth bitter waters. 
 
 Ever keeping in view this law of the human 
 mind, the young adventurer on the sea of meta- 
 6 
 
06 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 physical knowledge will at all times be able to 
 determine his position, and to discriminate be* 
 tween the true and false lights by which he is 
 compelled to steer his soul-laden bark. 
 
 Man’s study of himself, aided by certain data 
 in the outset, is full of interest, and fraught with 
 the most important results. He who carefully 
 observes the operations of his own mind, is soon 
 able to correct false views, and soon acquires a 
 soundness of thinking on all subjects. He 
 makes a stronger impression on society ; his in- 
 fluence widens daily. 
 
 Very many considerations might be urged 
 upon young men by which to make them feel 
 the importance of improving their minds every 
 possible way; the highest consideration we can 
 urge is that of man’s duties to common society, 
 and the impossibility of his discharging them 
 efficiently, unless every power of his mind be 
 cultivated to the extent of the opportunities 
 afforded him. But too few are able to feel so 
 unselfish a consideration as this, and they must 
 be moved by the lower influences of respscta 
 bility, eminence, or the possession of wealth, all 
 or some of which are the rewards that follow the 
 cultivation of man’s intellectual ability. An ig- 
 norant man may get rich, but he cannot rise into 
 intellectual society , he can never be any thing 
 
SELF-EDUCATION. 
 
 67 
 
 in the world except a mere money-maker, nor be 
 esteemed for any thing but his wealth. He con- 
 tributes nothing toward the world’s true ad- 
 vancement; he is, after all, but a drone in the 
 social hive; and when he dies, his memory soon 
 perishes with him, unless he provides for having 
 it inscribed upon some imposing edifice, built 
 by the money he could no longer use for his 
 own selfish purposes — to no truly great man an 
 enviable fame. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 SELF-EDUCATION. 
 
 Although the improvement of our minds, in 
 the way just alluded to, is, to all intents, self- 
 education, yet by that term here we mean some- 
 thing more than was contemplated in the pre- 
 ceding chapter. There are a very large number 
 of young men, just entering upon life, of good 
 minds, but deficient educations, who, from this 
 cause, are kept back, and labor under great dis- 
 abilities. Many of these are mechanise, and 
 others have no regular calling whatever, and 
 find it very difficult to earn any thing beyond a 
 
68 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 very meagre support. Upon these we would 
 urge, with great earnestness, the duty of self- 
 education, so called. The deficiencies of early 
 years need not keep them back from positions of 
 eminence in society — those positions awarded 
 only to men of intellectual force and sound in- 
 formation — if they will but strive for them. A 
 vast amount of knowledge may be gained in the 
 course of a few years, by rightly employing those 
 leisure hours which every one has; and this 
 knowledge, if of a practical kind, will always 
 insure to a man the means of elevation in the 
 world. 
 
 A young man who is a mechanic, able to earn 
 only from six to ten dollars per week, must re- 
 main a mechanic all his life, unless he have the 
 ability to do something else from which a larger 
 income is to be obtained. He may become a 
 master workman, it is true ; but this will depend 
 upon the character of his mind, and the kind of 
 business he is engaged in. It is not every trade 
 which a young man can set up for ‘himself. 
 More capital than a journeyman mechanic can 
 ordinarily obtain is often required. 
 
 A young mechanic, who has possessed but few 
 educational advantages, will find himself deficient 
 in many things, and be oainfully conscious of his 
 inability to procure a comfortable livelihood for 
 
SELF-EDUCATION 
 
 69 
 
 himself and those who may happen to be de 
 pendent upon him, if at some future day loss of 
 health, casualty, or other circumstance, should 
 render him unable to work at his trade. The 
 first business of such a one ought to be, the ac- 
 quirement of some kind of knowledge that could 
 be used to advantage, were such a state of things 
 ever to occur. And we would recommend to 
 every one so situated to turn his attention to two 
 things : first, the acquirement of a thorough 
 knowledge of figures and account-keeping ; and 
 second, to the improvement of his handwriting. 
 He will find ample leisure for this. But he must 
 not be discouraged if his progress be slow; if 
 he make any progress at all, that should encour- 
 age him to persevere ; and if, after an application 
 of two, three, or even four years to this and other 
 branches of study and information, he be reward- 
 ed by obtaining a situation as clerk, with an in- 
 creased income and lighter labor, he will not 
 think it has cost him too dear. 
 
 Some years ago, we knew a lad, of no remark- 
 able quickness of intellect, who was apprenticed 
 to a trade at the age of thirteen years. For two 
 years previously, he had been at work, so that 
 all his education had been acquired from the 
 time he could go to school until he was eleven 
 years old ; and while at school, he was rather a 
 
70 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 dull boy, and did not advance as rapidly as most 
 children. During his apprenticeship, which con- 
 tinued through a period of nearly seven years, 
 something inspired his mind with a desire for 
 knowledge, and he commenced reading and study- 
 ing at times when his fellow-apprentices were at 
 play or sitting idly about, in the few books to 
 which he could get access. As he had no one 
 to direct his studies, they were, of course, attend- 
 ed with many disadvantages and drawbacks, and 
 he was compelled to pick up, here and there, the 
 information he desired upon any subject, and 
 often to abandon the pursuit, and turn to some 
 other branch of knowledge, because the few 
 books he could attain were little more than ele- 
 mentary works, or mere abridgments. But, the 
 more he learned, the more he found there was to 
 learn, and the more eager he became for infor- 
 mation on all subjects. He was about eighteen 
 years of age when he began to have good reason 
 to fear that he would not be able to follow the 
 trade he was learning, as a means of livelihood ; 
 that his health would not permit him to work at 
 it much beyond the time when he was to be free. 
 For a while, this caused him great depression of 
 spirits ; but he was not of a temper long to de- 
 spond under any circumstances, for he had a 
 consciousness of internal power, and this led him 
 
SELF -EDUCATION. 
 
 71 
 
 to action, rather than the indulgence of gloomy 
 forebodings. What we have advised in the pre- 
 ceding paragraph, was the suggestion of his own 
 mind. He felt that a knowledge of account-keep- 
 ing, with the ability to write a fair business hand, 
 would be of the first importance to him, in case 
 he were unable to gain a livelihood by working 
 at the trade he was learning. All his efforts 
 were now directed to an acquirement of the 
 knowledge and skill needed. * He began by 
 taking up an arithmetic and going through it, 
 beginning at “ Compound Division,” and ending 
 with “ Promiscuous Questions.” This was the 
 work of an entire winter, and the time spent at 
 it was generally from one to two hours in every 
 twenty-four. In doing this, his aim was to ac- 
 quire a facility for making all kinds of calcula- 
 tions required in business. During this time, 
 he wrote from one to two pages in a copy-book 
 jvery day, and made a very great improvement 
 in writing. All this was done without omitting 
 any of his regular employments, or in the least 
 neglecting the interests of his master, who 
 never once had cause to make a complaint 
 against him. 
 
 After he had gained the arithmetical knowl- 
 edge he desired, our young friend commenced 
 the study of book-keeping, and soon understood 
 
72 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 the whole theory of accounts; but here he 
 wanted more practical knowledge than the mere 
 making of fictitious entries, &c., on a few sheets 
 of paper called a day-booJc, and posting from 
 these to a few sheets more, called a ledger ; and 
 the opportunity of gaining it soon occurred. 
 His master had always kept his own books, 
 though in a bungling manner ; but his business 
 had increased so much that a more thorough sys- 
 tem was required 6 , and he was about employing a 
 regular clerk to takfe charge of them. This fact 
 came accidentally to the ears of his apprentice, 
 who, after turning the matter carefully over in 
 his mind, ventured to offer his services, and pro- 
 posed to do the work in the evening, after his 
 regular day’s labor was done. To this his mas- 
 ter, after satisfying himself that the boy under- 
 stood something about book-keeping, very readily 
 assented, and, purchasing an entire new set of 
 books, set him to work in opening them, and 
 transferring all the accounts from the old ledger. 
 This occupied him about a week, during which 
 time he did nothing else. The work was very 
 neatly and correctly done, and pleased his mas- 
 ter so well, that he offered him the option of re- 
 maining in the shop, or assisting him in the gen- 
 eral management of the business, and taking 
 charge of the books and collections. No propo* 
 
SELF-EDUCATION. 
 
 73 
 
 iition could have been more agreeable. It was 
 accepted at once. In this new department he 
 remained until he was of age, and was then em- 
 ployed in the same capacity, at a salary at least 
 two hundred dollars a year more than he could 
 have earned by working at his trade. 
 
 This young man’s desire for improvement did 
 not stop with the first reward of his diligence in 
 acquiring useful information. A love for mathe- 
 matical studies had been awakened, and algebra, 
 mensuration, geometry, and all the higher and 
 abstruser branches, one after the other, became 
 he subjects of patient investigation. By the 
 time he was free, he understood more about 
 them than one half of the young men who have 
 enjoyed all the facilities afforded by the best lit- 
 erary institutions. Three years after his time of 
 service expired, he obtained a situation in a 
 corps of engineers, just commencing the survey 
 of a long line of railroads, since constructed, at 
 a salary of one thousand dollars a year. Here 
 he had a fine chance to display his ability; and 
 he did it to such good purpose, that, before the 
 expiration of twelve months, he was employed to 
 conduct several surveys at the south, from which 
 he derived an income of twenty-five hundred 
 dollars a year for two years. He never returned 
 to the north, except as a visitor. After the sur 
 
74 
 
 ADV/GL i’G YOUNG MEN. 
 
 veys were made, he received an appointment as 
 professor of mathematics in a southern college — 
 a situation that he still retains. He is now con- 
 sidered ont of the first mathematicians in the 
 country. 
 
 Fellow-apprentices with the individual of 
 whom we nave been speaking, were lads who 
 had enjoyed greater advantages of education, 
 and who were blessed with quicker intellects. 
 But wh»ie he was diligently seeking to improve 
 himself, they were content with their acquire- 
 ments, and preferred idleness or mere amusement 
 to study. This was the simple fact that lay at 
 the foundation of the different results. Each 
 one of tnem might have become as eminent in 
 some pursuit for which a peculiar formation of 
 mind particularly fitted him. 
 
 Very many instances of results similar to the 
 one just stated have fallen under the writer’s ob- 
 servation. He could point to a single shop, out 
 of which have come at least half a dozen men, 
 now more or less eminent in the professions. 
 They were poor boys, with few advantages, and 
 early in life put out to trades by their parents, 
 who had not the means of preparing them for 
 higher walks of usefulness. In one or two of 
 them thi thirst for knowledge was felt, and they 
 inspired the others with a feeling of noble emu- 
 
SELF-EDUCATION. 
 
 75 
 
 ation. Their leisure hours were spent in study, 
 each cne in the branches that suited best his 
 taste and inclinations. Most of them chose 
 medicine as a profession, and laid the ground- 
 work of a knowledge of the healing art in a 
 commencement of the study of anatomy. A 
 physician, a friend of one of the young men, 
 generously offered them all the facilities his 
 office afforded, with advice as to the order of 
 their studies. These were pursued with great 
 diligence late at night and early in the morning, 
 so as not to interfere with their working hours, 
 or their duties to their master, who never had 
 cause to complain that their work was not well 
 done. One of them had the misfortune to have 
 a natural obtuseness of intellect. It cost him 
 three times the labor that it did any of the rest 
 to acquire the same amount of information ; but 
 what he lacked in quickness of comprehension, 
 he made up in more intense and more prolonged 
 application. So much interested did this young 
 man become, and so eager was he in the pursuit 
 of his anatomical investigations, that, upon an 
 arm, which he obtained for dissection, he worked 
 sometimes for nearly the whole night, and unti it 
 became so offensive, that his mother, with whi n 
 he boarded, discovered what he was about, ai 1 
 w is so shocked, that he was obliged to give up tha 
 
76 
 
 .ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 precious buhdle of arteries, nerves, and muscles 
 which he had obtained at some cost, and which 
 had afforded him so much pleasure and instruct 
 don. With another arm he was more successful, 
 carrying it backwards and forwards, under his 
 cloak, from his home to the shop, and working 
 at it every moment that he could get, until he 
 had completed a beautiful preparation, which he 
 no doubt still possesses, as a trophy of his early 
 achievements in this highly attractive and inter- 
 esting branch of science. He is now a physician 
 in one of the Atlantic cities, with a large prac- 
 tice. 
 
 Two of these apprentice boys are now clergy- 
 men, one became a surgeon in the army, two are 
 regular practising physicians, and the other has 
 passed beyond our observation. 
 
 Self-education is something very different from 
 mere reading by way of amusement. It requires 
 prolonged and laborious study. The cultivation 
 of a taste for reading is all very well ; but mere 
 reading does little toward advancing any one in 
 the world — little toward preparing him for a 
 higher station than the one he fills. The knowl- 
 edge which fits a man for eminence in any pro- 
 fession or calling, is not acquired without patient, 
 long-continued, and earnest application. Read- 
 ing is resorted to by very many as a means of 
 
SELF-EDUCATION. 
 
 77 
 
 making an idle hour pass more pleasantly ; others 
 have a natural desire to obtain information on a 
 variety of subjects, and read, for the gratification 
 of that desire, history, biography, travels, and 
 the current publications on all the various sub" 
 jects that generally interest readers of taste and 
 intelligence. The first class are mainly novel- 
 readers. These, if they do not actually stand 
 still, make but little advance in intellectual im- 
 provement. Between theatre-going, visiting, and 
 this kind of reading, nearly all their leisure time 
 is spent. Such persons generally make agreea- 
 ble companions in mixed companies, where con- 
 versation is light and rambling. They have some 
 taste, from reading so much about matters of 
 taste in works of fiction, and from being familiar 
 with criticisms on the stage ; and have a very 
 good idea of the current events of the day. 
 Such characters are very good in their place; 
 but they do not help to advance, except with, it 
 may be, the force of a little finger, the great 
 movements of the age. Still they generally have 
 a very good opinion of themselves, and trade 
 quite extensively on their small intellectual capital- 
 The other class of readers alluded to are of a 
 higher order ; but their reading does not amount 
 to a great deal more than to make them think 
 themselves far more intelligent than the mass 
 
78 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 of ,fie people, unless what they acquire be made 
 useful somewhere in their ordinary pursuits 
 in life. And here we would remark, that it is 
 the use to which a man can apply what he 
 receives, that determines its real value ; and that 
 but little of sterling worth can be received, ex- 
 cept by an earnest and concentrated effort of the 
 mind. 
 
 Mere reading, therefore, although of impor- 
 tance in itself, as a means of enlarging our ideas 
 and correcting and refining our tastes, does not 
 give a man much power — does not help him to 
 rise above the position in which circumstances 
 may have originally placed him. It is study that 
 does this. Franklin the printer’s boy did not 
 become Franklin the philosopher and statesman, 
 by reading only, but by study ; and we do no? 
 hear of his studying under teachers, and of 
 being guided by them — for, like many of you, he 
 did not possess these high advantages, — but his 
 education progressed under the supervision of 
 his own mind. He had to feel his way along, 
 and to correct his own errors, ever and anon, as 
 the dawning of fresh light enabled him to see 
 them. And you may do the same ; you, with 
 few acquirements now, and few opportunities, 
 may, if you only will it, become as useful and ein* 
 !nent a man as Franklin. But you must work 
 
SFLF-E DUCATTON. 
 
 79 
 
 ijt it. Diligently and earnestly must /ou labor, 
 or you cannot stand side by side, in after years, 
 with the men who have become distinguished for 
 the important services they have been able to 
 render their fellows. 
 
 In regard to self-education, no specific rules 
 can be laid down, nor any course of study 
 pointed out. All will depend upon the capacity, 
 situation, and peculiar character of the individ- 
 ual. Inherent in every one is a capacity for the 
 doing of some one thing better than another ; 
 and in the exercise of this natural ability every 
 man attains his true place in society. From a 
 common perception of this fact, it has become 
 a habit with judicious parents and guardians to 
 consult the youth under their charge in regard 
 to their future cabings, and to be governed very 
 much by the preferences they express. One lad, 
 who feels the necessity of improving himself, 
 may turn all his thoughts, and direct all his in- 
 vestigations, toward gaining a knowledge of 
 the principles upon which the branch of art he 
 may be engaged in learning is founded, in order 
 that, when he becomes a man, he may, with more 
 intelligence and certainty of success, prosecute 
 his trade. Whoever does this may depend upon 
 finding full scope for all the knowledge he thus 
 acquires, and be sure of rising above his less 
 
80 
 
 ADVICE TO VOUNG MEN. 
 
 ambitious fellows. Another may ook away from 
 his trade, and be emulous of distinction in some 
 other pursuit, and this will give a different direc- 
 tion to his course of study ; and he will become a 
 statesman or a merchant, or, it may be, rise into 
 some one of the learned professions ; for to rise 
 above the great mass, who will not apply them- 
 selves, is the unfailing result of patient and thor- 
 ough self-education. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 ACCOMPLISHMENTS. 
 
 Music, dancing, and a truly polished and 
 graceful manner in social intercourse, with a 
 knowledge of those modes and forms that are 
 founded upon a just regard of man for man, 
 which prevail in society, are known as accom- 
 plishments. With regard to the first of these, 
 there is but little difference of opinion ; the sec- 
 ond has many warm advocates, and many bitter 
 and unrelenting opponents, who see in it evil, 
 and only evil ; and there are some who appear to 
 think any serious regard to the latter, especially 
 
accomplishments 
 
 81 
 
 the making of rules for observance, a sign of 
 weakness and folly. 
 
 As respects music, it is clear to us, that, if a 
 young man have any taste at all in that way, he 
 ought by all means to cultivate it. It will not 
 only extend greatly his own means of enjoyment, 
 but give him the power of contributing much to 
 the enjoyment of others. We do not think it 
 would be wise for him to devote all his leisure 
 time to music, to the neglect of other and graver 
 pursuits ; but there are times when the mind 
 wearies of thought, and will be refreshed and 
 strengthened to attempt new efforts, if its slum- 
 bering affections be awakened into life and activ- 
 ity by music. While words give utterance to 
 the thoughts of the mind, music expresses its 
 affections ; and thoughts when uttered, and feel- 
 ings when expressed, are in greater fulness and 
 power. So well satisfied are we that there is 
 great use in the cultivation of music, that we 
 believe all men who are ignorant of the science 
 have defects which no cultivation of the intellect 
 alone can possibly overcome. 
 
 Against dancing much has been urged, but 
 nothing that we have seen having any basis in 
 rational truth. It has been called sinful ; but 
 nothing is sinful except what is done from evil 
 intent. Some have said that it awakens impure 
 6 
 
82 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 thoughts ; but they who allege this either have 
 impure minds or have never danced. Such is 
 well known not to be the case. It is a frivolous 
 waste of time, say others, and unworthy the dig' 
 nity of men and women. If it is made to inter- 
 fere with any duty, it is certainly a waste of 
 time ; as to the “ dignity,” the objection will be 
 worth considering, when it is understood in what 
 a man’s true dignity consists. It is a fact worthy 
 of observation, that the most strenuous opposers 
 of dancing are those who have least charity, so 
 called, for their neighbors ; and that one of these 
 persons will spend an evening in animadverting 
 upon the faults and foibles of others, and indul- 
 ging in a spirit of ill-will 'and censoriousness, 
 while those engaged in dancing during the time 
 have been blessing each other with a spontaneous 
 and generous reciprocation of the kindest feel- 
 ings. It is a bitter spirit, indeed, that does not 
 feel kindly emotions while threading the graceful 
 mazes of a cotillon, every step and every motion 
 of the body harmonizing with sweet music. 
 
 The whole truth, in regard to the objections 
 against dancing which prevail, lies in the fact 
 that it is erroneously imagined that all pleasures 
 are incompatible with religion, than which there 
 cannot possibly be a greater mistake. The 
 pleasures of sense are not evil in themselves. 
 
accomplishments. 
 
 83 
 
 out good : the evil lies in their perversion and 
 abuse. The partaking of food is a highly-grati- 
 fying sensual pleasure; but it is not evil, except 
 where eating is abused to the injury of the health. 
 It cannot be evil for the ear, so finely attuned, 
 to take in the harmonies of music ; although for 
 any one to neglect all the duties of life in giving 
 himself up to the enjoyment of music, wouh 
 certainly be a great evil. It cannot be evil to 
 enjoy the odor of sweet flowers, nor to delight in 
 viewing an exquisite picture, or piece of statuary, 
 or a beautiful landscape; and yet these are all 
 pleasures of the senses, so called, though in re- 
 ality the pleasures of the soul, as it looks out 
 upon and hearkens unto the world of nature, and 
 there sees and hears those things that correspond 
 to affections and principles in itself. The law 
 of our spiritual constitution is, that all things of 
 the mind come into their fullest power and de- 
 light in the lowest or sensual plane ; and all who 
 hinder in any way this descent of the soul into 
 the orderly plane of its activity, destroy much of 
 its vital force, and take away its power of clear 
 intellectual discrimination. 
 
 Dancing is nothing more nor less than grace- 
 ful movements of the body in time with music, 
 and is joined in by two, three, or a much greater 
 ••Limber, all acting in concert. The frightening 
 
84 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 eye, the glowing cheek, and the smiling lip, 
 attest the pleasure that is felt by each. A 
 pleasure in what? In consummating an evil 
 purpose ? None will' say that. There is de- 
 light, and it must be either in good or evil. 
 Is it in evil ? And if so, in what does it con- 
 sist? The dancers are virtuous maidens and 
 young men of good principles, who, to the sound 
 of music, have arranged themselves upon the 
 floor, and are moving their bodies in harmony 
 with it. It is not evil, we unhesitatingly say, 
 out good ; for it is always good for the mind to 
 flow down into external acts that are in them- 
 selves innocent, and encourage kindness and 
 good-will from one toward another ; and this is 
 precisely what occurs in dancing. The objec- 
 tions against its abuse are as good as objections 
 against the abuse of any thing else, but no better. 
 Another use of dancing is, that it gives a young 
 man an easier and more graceful carriage, w r itb 
 more freedom in his social intercourse. It also 
 aids him in acquiring a self-possession in com- 
 pany, which is so necessary for the pleasure of 
 all, yet so hard to attain in mere conversational 
 circles, or even in the half-awkward promenade, 
 into which a stifF and formal sitting party is 
 sometimes broken up by an effort, soon to sub- 
 side again into its score of little circles, all de« 
 
ACCOMPLISHMENTS. 
 
 85 
 
 laohed from the rest, and feeling nothing in com- 
 mon with the whole. 
 
 By all means, take lessons in dancing, if you 
 nave not yet done so, we would say to every 
 young man. Don’t let an awkward bashfulness 
 prevent your doing so ; for it is one of the very 
 best meaqs you can adopt for its correction. 
 You are a social being, and are bound to mingle 
 in society, both for your own good and the good 
 of others. You are under obligation to give 
 vour quota to the general enjoyment, and under 
 a like obligation to take your own in return, for 
 the sake of that healthy flow of spirits so essen- 
 tial to the right performance of all our duties in 
 life. And, unless you have those accomplish- 
 ments that are common in polite society, you 
 can neither give nor receive all the benefits that 
 spring from right social intercourse. 
 
 The laws of etiquette, or those conventional 
 forms of good breeding, which prevail in society, 
 when they are founded upon a just regard of 
 man for man, should always be observed. Among 
 these laws, as found in books of etiquette, are 
 many which have in them no vital principle 
 which are the mere offspring of a sickly pride. 
 They maj be known from the fact tha.. iney are 
 not based upon a generous consideration o^ oth- 
 
86 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEI*. 
 
 ers. These may be observed or not, as any one 
 thinks best ; and, when among those who make 
 it a point to observe them, we should think it 
 wise not to interrupt the general good feeling by 
 their violation, unless a principle were involved. 
 It is not wrong in itself to drink tea from your 
 saucer instead of your cup, nor to eat with your 
 knife instead of your fork; still, as these are 
 usages of polite society, a man of good common 
 sense will observe them when in company, no 
 matter how partial he may be to his knife and 
 saucer. 
 
 We would recommend to every young man to 
 read carefully one or more books on etiquette 
 and good-breeding, and thereby acquaint him- 
 self with the laws that are observed in polite so- 
 ciety. We would not, however, advise him to 
 adopt all the forms and observances there laid 
 down, but to take each one, and analyze it care- 
 fully, and see upon what it is based — pride or 
 the kind consideration of others ; and where he 
 finds that a violation of the law will subject any 
 one to unnecessary pain or annoyance, he should 
 carefully obey it under all circumstances. 
 
 A true gentleman — that is, one who really 
 regards with feelings of disinterested kindness 
 his fellow-man — will rarely commit any glaring 
 
ACCOMPLISHMENTS. 
 
 37 
 
 violation of good manners. To such a one the 
 study of those rules established as usages in po- 
 lite society, will afford much matter for reflec- 
 tion, and he will readily distinguish between 
 the good and the bad. He will find much that 
 is the mere offspring of pride, vanity, and a 
 fancied idea of importance ; but he will find 
 much more that is based upon a just regard of 
 man for man. We were particularly struck with 
 the closing paragraph of a book of this kind, 
 which contains much more than a fair proportion 
 of bad reasons for observing some very good 
 rules. It is as follows : “ Gentility is neither 
 in birth, manner, nor fashion, but in the mind. 
 A high sense of honor — a determination never 
 to take a mean advantage of another — an adhe- 
 rence to truth, delicacy, and politeness toward 
 those with whom you have any dealings, are 
 the essential and distinguishing characteristics 
 
 Of a GENTLEMAN.” 
 
 This is every word true. A man may have the 
 most accurate knowledge of all the rules of eti- 
 quette, and most carefully observe them ; but if 
 he have not the above qualities, he is not a gen* 
 tleman. 
 
88 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 CHAPTER IX 
 
 AMUSEMENTS. 
 
 E7ery young man should enter upon life with 
 an earnest purpose. He will have need of pa- 
 tience, fortitude, energy, and intense thought, in 
 overcoming the difficulties that must be encoun- 
 tered before his day of trial be over. Life has 
 been called a warfare, and truly so called. It is 
 a warfare with enemies both within and with- 
 out — enemies of the flesh and enemies of the 
 spirit. He has to contend, in the world, against 
 the selfishness that would crush every man’s in- 
 terest in the attainment of its own ends ; and to 
 contend with the same spirit of selfishness in his 
 oAvn heart, that is ever prompting him to seek 
 an advantage at the sacrifice of others’ good. 
 Happy for him if, when he fall into temptation 
 he do not fall in temptation, but stand fast by 
 his integrity. 
 
 “ If life, then, be so grave a matter, what 
 has man to do with amusements?” we hear 
 asked. “ In these conflicts with foes within and 
 without, one would think the heart could nevei 
 
AMUSEMENTS. 
 
 89 
 
 heave up with a glad emotion, the eye never 
 brighten, nor the lip smile.” 
 
 And such could never be the case, if the strife 
 were incessant — if, after a fierce conflict, there 
 did not come a season of repose, in which both 
 mind and body could rest, and be refreshed and 
 invigorated for new combats. It has been as- 
 sumed — and it is evidently a true position — that 
 inaction is not the rest that re-invigorates the ex- 
 hausted energies of either the mind or body, but 
 a new direction of effort, by which new muscles 
 of the body, or new faculties of the mind, are 
 brought into activity. The true repose, then, 
 which should follow every life-conflict — and they 
 are of almost daily occurrence — is an entire di- 
 version of the thoughts and feelings into some 
 new channel. If this be not done, there can be 
 no rest ; for the current of thought will flow on 
 unchecked, until the mind becomes diseas«d, and 
 loses half its power. 
 
 And herein we see the use of amusements, or 
 those innocent employments that divert the mind, 
 and fill it with pleasing emotions. After the 
 business of the day is over, these come in their 
 natural order, to refresh and strengthen for new 
 efforts; and it is more in accordance with the 
 dictates of right reason to seek for re-invigora- 
 lion in these than in dull inaction. To play a 
 
90 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN 
 
 game of draughts or chess will do a man more 
 good, after a day of labor and care, than to 
 spend his evening in lounging on the sofa. And 
 he will find the gay doings of a social party of 
 far more benefit to him, if he make one of, and 
 enter into the spirit of that party, than he will to 
 sit out his evening, brooding over the disappoint- 
 ments and crosses of to-day, or sadly contem 
 plating the trials of to-morrow. 
 
 Amusements, therefore, we hold to be essential 
 to the health of both body and mind. But, like 
 every other good, they are liable to be perverted ; 
 and the young are more in danger of perverting 
 them than those who have passed the prime of 
 life. Nearly all the various amusements, public 
 and private, that are entered into at this day, are 
 innocent and useful in themselves, although some 
 of them are sadly perverted to evil ends. Dan- 
 cing, games, concerts, the opera, scenic repre- 
 sentations, etc., are all good in themselves, and 
 may be enjoyed innocently and beneficially by 
 all. In cards, for instance, there is no evil ab- 
 stractly, nor in a game of cards ; but gambling 
 is a great evil — one from which every hoDest 
 mind shrinks with horror. When made a school 
 of morals, the stage is a powerful teacher of 
 truth, because it shows us vice or virtue in living 
 personifications but as it now is, we are com 
 
AM JSEMENTS. 
 
 91 
 
 pelled to acknowledge that it is a poor place of 
 resort for the strengthening of v irtuous princi- 
 ples. 
 
 At all suitable times, young men w Jl find it 
 useful to seek for recreations and innocent 
 amusements. It will give their minds a health- 
 ier tone, and bring them into associations differ- 
 ent from business associations, by which they 
 will be able to see new phases of character, and 
 judge more kindly of their fellows. In business, 
 each one seeks his own interest ; there is no 
 generous deference to the interests of others, 
 and men grow daily more and more selfish ; but 
 in social intercourse, one defers to another ; 
 there is the form of self-sacrifice for the good of 
 others, at least, and we would fain believe no 
 little of its essence. 
 
 From this brief presentation of the subject 
 every one must see that the views taken by 
 those who inveigh against amusements, as 
 either sinful or entirely useless, are erroneous, 
 and founded upon false notions of man’s moral 
 nature. Our life here is for the development 
 and perfection of our characters as immortal 
 beings, created originally in true order, and now 
 afforded all possible means for a return to true 
 order. In true order, every affection of the 
 mind, when it comes into activity, produces de- 
 
92 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 light ; and as a lovt of good is the vital princi- 
 ple of true order, when man is restored to what 
 he has lost, his highest and purest delight will be 
 in doing good. Delight or pleasure, then, is not 
 evil, but good, provided it does not flow from the 
 consummation of an evil purpose. It is the 
 healthy reaction of the mind upon orderly effort, 
 and strengthens and prepares it for new and 
 higher efforts. Take away all delight as the re- 
 ward of effort, and see how quickly the cheek 
 fades and the eye grows dim ! 
 
 If, then, delight or pleasure be not wrong m 
 the abstract, the seeking of amusements, as means 
 of recreation, after the mind is overwearied by 
 long and oft-repeated efforts, cannot be wrong ; 
 and this every mind not sadly warped by false views 
 must see. But to seek amusements as a means 
 of “ killing time,” as some do, or as the occupa- 
 tions instead of the occasional recreations of life, 
 is to pervert them from their true object, and to 
 make them highly injurious, instead of beneficial. 
 To engage, night after night, in a trial of skill in 
 games, — to spend two or three evenings every 
 week at balls and parties, or attending theatric or 
 operatic performances,, — must enervate instead 
 of strengthening the mind, and will inevitably 
 hinder any young man from rising into distin* 
 guished positions of usefulness in society. Aftei 
 
AMUSEMENTS. 
 
 93 
 
 the business of the day, the mind will ordinarily 
 find a means of healthy reaction in intellectual 
 pursuits, which form a part of some leading pur- 
 pose by which a man’s life is governed; amusements 
 come in as occasional means of restoring the wasted 
 energies, and should be entered into at intervals, 
 as absolutely essential to the continued healthy 
 activity of our minds. 
 
 There are boys so hardly circumstanced, as to 
 be deprived of nearly all amusements at an age 
 when work and play should each come in right 
 order. These are apt to make men who have little 
 sympathy for young people, and who regard all 
 amusements as waste of time, and enervating to 
 the character. They constantly refer back to their 
 own uncheered boyhood as evidence that amuse- 
 ments are valueless; not thinking that the very 
 aspect they show to the world is one of the strong 
 arguments in favor of their balancing influence. 
 From men of this class, as well as from religious 
 ascetics, we have a steady warfare upon all 
 amusements. 
 
 It may be well to look a little closer at some of 
 the popular sources of recreation, and to examine 
 their quality. The true end of all amusement is, 
 as we have seen, that recreation of the mind 
 which will enable it the better to perform its use- 
 ful tasks when the hour of duty returns. It 
 
94 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 Bhould come up from them re-invigorated; and 
 this can hardly be the case, if there should be in 
 them anything that excites low, sensual, or impure 
 emotions ; or that insinuates false sentiments on 
 any subject. Among the most prominent and 
 popular of all our public amusements, is the the- 
 atre. How is it in regard to the ideas and emo- 
 tions that are called into activity here ? Are they, 
 as a general thing, pure, elevating, and virtuous ? 
 or, on the contrary, depressing to the moral sense ? 
 Is the wit that makes you laugh, refined or coarse ? 
 Are the passions, in the display of which you are 
 most interested, cruel or tender ? How do you 
 come up from the theatre ? With all nobler im- 
 pulses strengthened, or, with images in your ima- 
 gination that you would blush to have revealed ? 
 
 We fear that, for the most part, your experience 
 of the drama, as it now exists, cannot be presented 
 as an argument in its favor. The evil overbalances 
 the good ; to say nothing of the doors to vice and 
 intemperance which there stand invitingly open. 
 An occasional visit to the theatre may be well ; 
 but it should be when talent of the highest avail- 
 able order is presented, so that the new excitement 
 of mind under* which you are brought, may par- 
 take more of the intellectual than the sensuous. 
 But regular theafcr 3-going we must condemn as 
 
AMUSEMENTS. 
 
 95 
 
 not only dangerous, but depressing to the moral 
 sense, and enervating to the whole mind. 
 
 If, therefore, you wish to make a strong, useful, 
 successful man in the world, no matter what your 
 life pursuit may be, attend the theatre rarely. 
 
 As to the opera, that has its good and also its 
 bad points. Music is innocent. But most of the 
 librettos to which it is wedded in opera, are dis- 
 gracefully vicious. The most effective portions 
 of an opera are usually, those in which passions 
 of the worst kind are displayed or indicated. The 
 loves, hates, lusts, jealousies, and murderous pas- 
 sions of outlaws, libertines, and courtezans, too 
 often make up the larger portion of musical ex- 
 pression in these fashionable entertainments, which 
 are not indigenous to our own soil, but the stim- 
 ulated exotics of another clime. It is surprising 
 how much enthusiasm virtuous people permit 
 themselves to exhibit in favor of certain operas, 
 which, it has often seemed to us, they might well 
 blush to have it known they had seen. The saving 
 clause in all this, is the fact that the singing is 
 mostly in Italian or French, not a word of which 
 one in ten of the audiences usually understand. 
 It is because the opera is fashionable, not from 
 a genuine love of that class of music in the mass 
 of those who attend, that it is so popular. The 
 number who really enjoy the good music to which 
 
96 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 stupid, trifling, or bad sentiments are wedded, is 
 but small. Do not, then, fall into the error of 
 professing to admire and enjoy something that 
 really interests you but little, and which attracts 
 large numbers by its imposing accessories, more 
 than from any other cause. Your amusements 
 should always strengthen your mind in some di- 
 rection; or, in the excitement of gentle, loving, 
 humane, and generous sentiments, make you more 
 a man of true sympathy with your fellow men 
 when, in business or social contact, your life acts 
 upon theirs. 
 
 You will not have failed to notice, that the 
 staple of conversation among some young men is 
 the histrionic ability of certain actors and actresses, 
 which they criticise with a gravity that would 
 lead you to think them possessed of extraordinary 
 talents. Do not fall into the weakness of giving 
 such undue importance to what is really a small 
 interest in society. 
 
 Actors are well enough in their way, and so far 
 as they conduct themselves honorably in private 
 life, are to be respected. But their calling throws 
 them into temptations beyond what usually assail 
 men and women who have to depend on their own 
 efforts to make their way in the world, and the 
 personal history of the stage has been much in- 
 volved in scandals. The constant introduction of 
 
AMUSEMENTS 
 
 97 
 
 the names of players, and the giving of undue 
 importance to their stage readings and perform- 
 ances, are scarcely in good taste; and the individual 
 who does this frequently, when in the company 
 of intelligent, thoughtful people, will leave on their 
 minds the impression that he thinks a great deal 
 more of such matters than is consonant with a 
 solid, well based character. 
 
 Criticism on the various performers who nightly 
 sport in fantastic costumes before their audiences, 
 occupy far more space in our daily and weekly 
 newspapers than ought in truth and fairness to be 
 given. If the public understood these to be no- 
 thing more than advertisements, they would be in 
 the way of forming more correct estimates. But 
 while such amusements continue to be held up by 
 the press, as things of primary importance, the 
 unobservant and unreflecting will be led into con- 
 sidering actors, actresses, tenors, and prima don- 
 nas as distinguished personages, and their com- 
 parative merits a subject worthy of the gravest 
 consideration. 
 
 Do not, as we have said, fall into the error or 
 weakness of making too prominent, in your con- 
 versation, the merits of this class of persons. 
 They are all very well in their way ; but there are 
 men and women all around you, in public and pri- 
 vate life, whose talents and performances are a 
 
98 
 
 AE VICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 thousand times more worthy of your thought. 
 As you regard amusements, sc- regard those who 
 minister to this want of your nature, as entitled 
 to rank always second to those who are engaged 
 in the higher and more important uses of society. 
 Do not confound things. Let the first in utility 
 always have precedence in your regard. 
 
 The effect of amusements on your state of mind 
 will always indicate their utility or hurtfulness. 
 If, after their enjoyment, you return to your reg- 
 ular duties, with a mind reinvigorated and cheer- 
 ful, then they have done you good. But, if the 
 useful things that demand your care and labor 
 seem afterwards tame and irksome, and your 
 thought wanders away from them to the evening’s 
 entertainments, then you may well question their 
 good influence. Beware, in this case, how you 
 let mere amusement and recreation make large 
 demands on your leisure time: for you are in dan- 
 ger of being drawn away from that abiding interest 
 in useful employments by which alone man rises 
 in the scale of worldly prosperity, or becomes hon- 
 orable and happy. 
 
 It is the habit, to which we have referred, of 
 making actors, singers, and others, who minister 
 to our recreations, leading topics of conversation 
 that elevates mere amusement to an undue import- 
 
SELF-GOVERNMENT. 
 
 99 
 
 ance, and lends to make useful things appear tame 
 and uninviting. And whatever has this tendency, 
 should he avoided. Things right in their place, 
 may be hurtful when taken out of their just rela 
 tions. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 SELF-GOVERNMENT. 
 
 There are two kinds of self-government, or 
 the controlling of evil and disorderly propensi- 
 ties — the one springing from a regard to external 
 considerations, such as the love of reputation, 
 ease, or wealth, and the other from an abstract 
 regard to right principles. Self-government, 
 from the first of these considerations, which is 
 that which most prevails in common society, 
 does not give a man any real power over him- 
 self. His inward disorders are only caged as 
 wild beasts, not subdued and brought under 
 the control of opposite good principles; and 
 
100 
 
 ADVfCB TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 when these restraints cease, they show them, 
 selves again with renewed power and activity. 
 We see this in those who have attained an ad- 
 vanced age, without truly, and from an internal 
 ground, reforming the leading impulses of their 
 lives. How melancholy a sight it is to see an ir- 
 ritable, impatient, passionate old man ! and this 
 every one is sure to become, if life is prolonged 
 to second childhood, who does not subdue his ir- 
 ritability, impatience, and passion, by struggling 
 against them as evil tendencies of a corrupt na- 
 ture, instead of merely concealing them from 
 others in his ordinary intercourse in life, when it 
 answers his purpose to do so, that his reputation 
 may be preserved, or his selfish ends answered. 
 
 Extreme old age is called second childhood 
 The reason of this designation is supposed to be 
 in a resemblance between the imbecility of old age 
 and the helplessness of childhood. But a much 
 higher and more instructive truth is at the basis 
 of this supposed resemblance. A child is born in 
 the innocence of ignorance, which is man’s first 
 state : there is a likeness to this in his last state, 
 if his life have been an orderly progression from 
 reformation to regeneration ; or, in other words, 
 if he have, after the laying, in early life, of a basis 
 of scientific truths, both natural and spiritual, by 
 means of parents and teachers, elevated these 
 
s l: lf-go v e rn m e nt 
 
 101 
 
 truths, by a ational adoption and practise of 
 them, into knowledge in his mind in mature life, 
 and by the aid of them corrected the tendencies 
 to evil in which he was born. This likeness to 
 childhood — which is a state of innocence from 
 ignorance — is a state of innocence from wisdom. 
 Imbecility is not the natural condition of old 
 age, but wisdom ; which comes as the invariable 
 consequence of a life well spent. But, alas ! 
 how few spend their lives well ! how few are 
 governed by a regard for good and true princi- 
 ples ! how few strive for the attainment of ends 
 not thoroughly selfish ! and the melancholy result 
 is, that few who attain old age, when the very 
 life’s love shows itself more plainly than at any 
 other time, because less regard is then felt for 
 external considerations, are in the innocence of 
 wisdom. 
 
 The love of self is disorderly, as we showed 
 in the chapter on man’s origin, nature, and des- 
 tiny, and has in it the germ of all evils, no matter 
 how direful. All insanities, therefore, which are 
 states of disorder more or less excessive, have 
 their origin in self-love. They cannot spring 
 from a love of God and a love of the neighbor. 
 Is it any wonder, then, that, after a man has pur- 
 sued only selfish ends all his life, that in old age 
 here should be something of insanity, or mental 
 
102 
 
 advi;e to young men. 
 
 imbecility, as a natural result? But a strife 
 against the evi's and disorders of our nature, 
 and a conquest of them, restores us to something 
 of true order, in which we love the good of the 
 whole, and seek it as an end, rather than our 
 own good, as separate from the whole* A state 
 of wisdom, instead of partial insanity, comes in 
 old age, and life declines with the sun unob- 
 scured by clouds, calm as a summer’s day. 
 
 To make all we wish to say clear, we will re- 
 mark, that there are two states appertaining to 
 the human mind — intellection and perception ; 
 and that the latter succeeds the former. We 
 first have a truth presented to our minds ; then 
 we canvass it, and compare it with relations and 
 opposites, by means of the intellect or rational 
 power of the mind ; and after all this takes 
 place, and we begin to regulate our lives by it, 
 we have a clear perception that it is true, which 
 no argument can obscure. Now, consider life 
 as a whole, and all truths necessary for man’s 
 elevation as one truth. First, in his early days, 
 this truth is taught to him, and it is a matter of 
 memory only ; in mature years, he views it on 
 all sides, canvasses it, tries it by all available 
 standards, and, determining its quality, makes it 
 the guide of his life. Old age comes on, and 
 the intellect rests from its ’abors, in a clear per- 
 
SELF-GOVERNMENT. 
 
 103 
 
 ception of the great truth of his whole life ; 
 and this is a state of wisdom — the innocence 
 of wisdom. What is the opposite of this state 
 we have already declared ; and limited indeed 
 must have been his observation, who has not 
 seen all around him the sad evidences of its 
 existence. 
 
 From what has now been advanced, the great 
 importance of right self-government may be 
 clearly seen. Every young man will discover in 
 himself disorderly tendencies, and a disposition 
 to infringe the rights and comforts of others, in 
 seeking his own gratification. These are all 
 evils, and must come under proper control, from 
 right ends, or old age will find him, at last, with 
 a host of ungovernable impulses struggling in 
 his bosom, and overmastering him in every feeble 
 effort he makes to subdue them. 
 
 Right ends are a regard to others’ good as 
 well as our own ; and this regard may be felt and 
 exercised as much in an effort to reform a habit 
 of mind that acts as a hinderance to success in 
 the world, as in the shunning of an evil that di- 
 rectly injures our fellow-man ; for any thing that 
 interferes with our success circumscribes our 
 means of usefulness. 
 
 We hardly deem it necessary to enter into any 
 minute particulars as to the manner of self 
 
104 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 government. Every one understands enough of 
 his own character to see its defects ; and when he 
 understands the great importance of correcting 
 these, and controlling those propensities, habits, 
 and inclinations that stand in the way of his ele- 
 vation, both as to things external and things that 
 appertain to his mind, he will not be at a loss how 
 to act. The willingness to act is the great desid- 
 eratum. 
 
 But one or two illustrations may help the young 
 man who really desires to get the mastery over 
 himself, to some thoughts in the right direction. 
 
 Thomas R had, naturally, an impatient 
 
 temper. This was his greatest defect of charac- 
 ter, and often overshadowed the finer qualities of 
 his mind, destroying his influence for good in po- 
 sitions and under circumstances where that influ- 
 ence could have been of lasting value. The first 
 efforts which he made to overcome this hasty tem- 
 per, after reaching to years of manhood, were in- 
 spired by the feeling of shame at the weakness he 
 displayed, while under excitement. Of course, 
 the shame was as to intensity, in the degree that 
 he valued the good opinion of those before whom 
 he betrayed his infirmity. This led him to the 
 exercise of self-control from a merely external and 
 selfish consideration ) and chiefly when in the pre- 
 sence of those before whom he wished to appear 
 
SELF-GOVERNMENT. 
 
 105 
 
 well. He did not, under this system of repres- 
 sion, gain any true power over himself. The evil 
 was not reduced in potency, only hidden when it 
 was felt that its exhibition would be an injury to 
 himself. 
 
 At home, Thomas II was as irritable as 
 
 ever ; and this gave proof that he was only cov- 
 ering up his natural defect of character; not 
 changing it through a resolute opposition based on 
 principle. 
 
 This kind of self-government, having its origin 
 in pride, shame, or self interest, and not in a just 
 regard for others, gives a man no true power over 
 himself. The fire still smoulders within, and 
 sooner or later breaks out into consuming flames 
 The moment he feels that disguise is no longer 
 required, a man becomes his true self again, and 
 you see that the virtue for which he received cre- 
 d’.t, was only an assumed exterior. 
 
 As Thomas 11 mingled more largely in so- 
 
 ciety, he felt the necessity of guarding, with in- 
 creased care, his quick temper. Its exhibitions 
 would not only bring him into trouble, but lessen 
 that good opinion he was desirous to secure. lie 
 felt that he was really overcoming his weakness, 
 and congratulated himself, on mauy occasions, 
 when, under strong provocation, he managed to 
 keep down his fiery impulses, and maintain a com* 
 
106 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 posed exterior. But all this repression was from 
 the outside, not from an interior principle. He 
 did not master himself, because it was an evil thing 
 to act from mere passion • but he used bit and bri- 
 dle to hold down his struggling impulses, lest in 
 their exhibition he should suffer the loss of some 
 external good things that were highly valued. 
 
 It must be plain to the reader, that Thomas 
 
 B, was not really governing himself to any 
 
 permanent good purpose. That he was not grow- 
 ing less irritable in disposition, but only concealing 
 a hereditary defect, which every high considera- 
 tion required him to overcome. As if to warn 
 him of his error, this impatient spirit would, on 
 occasions when he happened to be less watchful 
 than usual, exhibit itself under circumstances pe- 
 culiarly mortifying. 
 
 “ I must be more on my guard,” he would say 
 to himself, when suffering the consequent humil- 
 iation ; not — “ I must conquer this bad temper, 
 because it is an evil thing, and constantly doing 
 hurt to others.” It was the hurt to himself that 
 troubled him most, not the possession of a quality 
 of mind that, wherever it had freedom to act, 
 hurt others. And so the inherited defect was 
 really gaining power, instead of losing its vitality. 
 It was an enemy lying in wait to enter the 
 
SELF-GOVERNMENT. 
 
 107 
 
 citadel at any moment when the gate was left un 
 guarded. 
 
 The marriage of Thomas R , that most im- 
 
 portant event in a man’s life, removed him from 
 the home in which he had lived from childhood, 
 and where his true disposition was known to the 
 regret of all. Even tempered, rightly disciplined, 
 unmoved under provocation, as he appeared to the 
 world, the inmates of his old home knew, by the 
 memory of too many unpleasant experiences, that he 
 was unchanged as to his inner quality. It was a 
 relief to father, mother, brothers, and sisters, when 
 he went out from among them, and established 
 home for himself; for he had been the centre of 
 disturbance, on account of his hasty temper, from 
 a child upwards. But for this infirmity, he was 
 to be esteemed and valued, for he had a kind heart, 
 and was honorable in his feelings. 
 
 The young lady to whom he was married, had 
 been warned of his impatient temper. But he 
 managed to conceal it so well during the period 
 of courtship, that she believed him to be one of 
 the most amiable of men. He never meant to de- 
 ceive her. But he did not know himself, nor 
 really understand the motives from which he 
 acted. It was an easy task to be amiable and even 
 tempered while in her company, and it did not 
 seem to him that he assumed an exterior in any 
 
108 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 case not in agreement with his real character. 
 He knew that he was more irritable while at home 
 than when any where else ; but this, it seemed to 
 him. was in consequence of the irritating causes 
 which ever had been and were still in existence 
 there. When in his own home, and with his be- 
 loved one for a companion, he felt sure that the 
 days would pass in sweet tranquillity, and that, all 
 exciting causes removed, he would not again re- 
 lapse into the unhappy states which had troubled 
 him from the days of childhood. 
 
 But this, alas ! was a fond delusion, born of 
 self-love and ignorance as to the real quality of his 
 own mind. It was not long after his marriage, 
 ere, in an unguarded moment, his impatient tem- 
 per showed itself. Something done by his young 
 wife annoyed him so much as to destroy his men- 
 tal equilibrium, and he threw at her a few impa- 
 tient, accusing words, which stung her heart, and 
 brought a rain of tears from her eyes. Scarcely 
 was the word uttered, before it was followed by 
 regret. 
 
 “ Why was I not more guarded ?” he said in his 
 thought, and with a feeling of self-rebuke. 
 
 There was a shadow for days in this new home, 
 which was to be a paradise of love and tranquillity. 
 The young wife’s sensitive heart could not recover 
 from the painful shock it had received, though 
 
SELF-GOVERNMENT. 
 
 109 
 
 tenderly her repentant husband carried himself 
 towards her. He had shown her a new site of his 
 character, and the exhibition was frightful to con- 
 template. A hasty, passionate man ! Could this 
 possibly be true of her husband ? She remem- 
 bered the long ago warning, and trembled lest it 
 might have been only too well grounded. 
 
 u I will be more guarded,” resolutely and often 
 did the young husband repeat these words to him- 
 self. But this was only touching the evil upon 
 the outside. This was to be the same man that he 
 had always been. It was not a guard that was 
 needed to watch the enemy prisoned in his heart, 
 but the strong arm of principle to dislodge that 
 enemy. As might naturally be supposed, no very 
 long time passed before the guard was relaxed, 
 and then the ever watchful enemy struck fiercely 
 again. 
 
 This time, R justified himself in his own 
 
 thoughts. His impatience was provoked by the 
 act of his wife ) and though he was sorry to see 
 her in tears, he said to himself that she deserved 
 the sharp rebuke which fell from his lips. Still, 
 he resolved to be more guarded ; for it was pain- 
 ful to himself to have the sun of love hidden be- 
 neath weeping clouds. 
 
 It took less than a year for the removal of all 
 disguises. A man is usually himself at home. 
 
110 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 If passionate, tyrannical, overbearing, selfish, or 
 sensual, the quality reveals itself fully when he 
 withdraws from the public eye, and gives the rein 
 to his appetites and impulses. It took a long, sad 
 
 time for the wife of Thomas R to get in any 
 
 degree reconciled to her husband's infirmity of 
 temper, over which he seemed to exercise scarcely 
 any control, except when away from home. Then 
 he guarded himself for the sake of appearance, 
 not that he put on, of design, hypocritical sem- 
 blances, but from habit, he assumed a placid ex- 
 terior, even under irritating circumstances. 
 
 Thus it came, that he exercised no true self-gov- 
 ernment. All the government of himself that 
 there was, merely touched the external — it never 
 went down to the springs of action. And so, at 
 thirty he was the same internally, that he was at 
 twenty ; and at forty, he had only learned to hide 
 more skillfully the impulses that throbbed with 
 undiminished life. In his family, he was the same 
 impatient, irritable being that he was years before 
 in the home of his boyhood ; and having the 
 power, this hasty temper often led him into unjust 
 and tyrannical conduct, the effects of which caused 
 him, many times, painful regrets and self-condem- 
 nation. 
 
 An irritable, impatient father can never have 
 the affection of his children. They may fear, but 
 
SELF-GOVERNMENT. 
 
 Ill 
 
 cannot respect him ) and where there is no respect, 
 there can be no love. It was so with the children 
 
 of Mr. It . As the sons grew to manhood, 
 
 they went to distant cities, repelled by the home 
 that should have drawn upon their hearts with a 
 strong attraction. At the age of fifty, the patient, 
 
 long-suffering, much enduring wife of Mr. It , 
 
 her duty done to her children, lay down to rest 
 in that quiet sleep from which the awakening is 
 beyond the grave, and he was left without sympa- 
 thy or companionship, just at the age when exter- 
 nal restraint begins to fail, and a man acts him- 
 self out under all circumstances. 
 
 He grew into a peevish, complaining, irritable 
 old man. Not only irritable at home, but every- 
 where. If jostled on the side-walk, he would ut- 
 ter an angry ejaculation ; if crowded in an omni- 
 bus or car, or asked to put himself out a little for 
 another’s accommodation, he would chafe and fret 
 himself, and show to all his easily besetting sin. 
 All the lines of his face indicated an impatient 
 spirit, and his mouth seemed always ready to 
 utter an angry word. He was a burden and an 
 annoyance to every one, in consequence of his 
 unhappy disposition ; and when death at last 
 removed him, even his children rejoiced to see him 
 laid to rest. 
 
 It would have been wholly different, if he had 
 
112 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 government, instead of merely guarding himself. 
 If he had gone down to the root of the evil, in- 
 stead of merely hiding its effects from the world, 
 then he would have become a true man, holding 
 passion beneath his feet. A true man, such as 
 you, my young friend, may and should become ; 
 and to attain to which is worthy of your h.ghest 
 ambition, for the noblest of all achievements is a 
 man’s thorough conquest of himself. 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 INDOLENCE AND WANT OF ORDER. 
 
 More young men are hindered from arriving 
 at positions of honor and eminent usefulness, by 
 indolence and want of order, than from any 
 other causes. Nothing great is ever achieved, 
 except by industry and earnest application, com- 
 bined with an orderly arrangement of all the means 
 necessary to the accomplishment of the object in 
 view. From this may be clearly seen the im- 
 portance of habits of industry and order. With- 
 out them, little can be done; with them, :ilm<»t 
 everything. 
 
INDOLENCE AND WANT OF ORDER 113 
 
 An active and energetic mind may achieve 
 much, even where there is great want of order ; 
 but indolence chains a man down, and keeps 
 him fast in one position ; it is, therefore the 
 most serious defect of the two, and should be 
 striven against with unwearying perseverance. 
 
 The want of an adequate purpose is what 
 makes a man indolent. The Indian will spend 
 days and weeks in slothfulness and inactivity, 
 and to an observer seem the most inefficient and 
 powerless of human beings ; but let the war- 
 whoop sound, or a deer go bounding past his wig- 
 wam, and he is instantly as full of fire, strength, 
 and endurance as a war-horse. All his slumber- 
 ing energies have aroused themselves. He feels 
 the force of an adequate purpose. A man’s love 
 is his life ; and here we see its illustration. The 
 very life’s love of the Indian is war and the 
 chase. In the pursuit of them, every energy of 
 body and mind is brought into activity. But 
 when the tomahawk is buried, or he comes home 
 from his hunting-grounds, he sinks into apparent 
 imbecility. 
 
 The Indian is a mere savage; he is but a sin- 
 gle remove from the brute ; the instincts of his 
 nature are his prompters. But civilized man 
 stands far above him, and is, or ought to be, ac- 
 tuated by reason, and not by instinct. His ra* 
 8 
 
114 
 
 ADVICE TO YCUNG MEN 
 
 tional intelligence should give him tne force of 
 an adequate purpose ; and this it will give him, 
 if he but call in its aid. 
 
 Activity is the result of some end or affection 
 of the mind. Where no purpose is in the mind, 
 there is indolence ; but when there is an end in 
 view of sufficient importance, all the powers of 
 the mind come into spontaneous activity. Now, 
 will any young man say that there are not ob- 
 jects for him to attain, of sufficient importance to 
 awaken him from his habits of indolence, no 
 matter how much he have confirmed himself in 
 them? We know there is not one who does not, 
 at times, feel the necessity of concentrating ev- 
 ery energy he possesses upon the accomplishment 
 of some end ; but the evil is, the thoughts are 
 not kept steadily fixed upon the end, but are al- 
 lowed to wander off to sport with unimportant 
 things, or to retire in mere idle musings ; and 
 thence comes indolence ; for if there is no pur- 
 pose, there will be no activity. 
 
 The first thing to be done, in the correction 
 of this habit, is deliberately to resolve upon 
 doing something that will require effort, and that 
 a prolonged one. Let the object in view be 
 worth attaining, and let there be an end in the 
 mind beyond its mere attainment — an end of 
 use. If the end be not one of S( me importance, 
 
INDOLENCE AND WANT OF ORDE1. 115 
 
 there will be danger of its not inspiring the mind 
 to an energetic continuance of its efforts. 
 
 In determining the object of pursuit, a good 
 question for any one to ask of himself is, “ In 
 what am I deficient ? ” There will be answers 
 enough to this question to awaken up all a 
 man’s energies, and keep them awake for some 
 time. The next question ought to be, “ What 
 will it be most useful for me first to do ? ” 
 When this question is determined, then let the 
 individual determining it resolve that he will 
 pursue the study — for it ought to be the study 
 of something that will give the mind new abilities 
 to act, either in or out of the life-calling in 
 which he may be engaged — with diligence, 
 until he have acquired all that is necessary for 
 the attainment of the end in view. And let him 
 also resolve, that he will fight against all his nat- 
 ural habits of indolence and indisposition to ef- 
 fort, that have too long hindered his progress. 
 And let him not only make these resolutions, 
 but let him keep them faithfully, as he values 
 his highest and best interests. 
 
 Most of us sleep too much. From six and a 
 half to seven hours’ sleep, in the twenty-four, are 
 said by physicians to be al that a healthy man 
 requires. Not more than ten or twelve hours 
 are taken up in business, nor should be. Prop- 
 
116 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNO MEN 
 
 erly-directed effort will do as much in that time 
 as it could possibly do if more hours were con- 
 sumed in business ; for the mind, over-wearied, 
 day after day, in bending itself in one direction, 
 will lose its ability for making right efforts. In 
 every twenty-four hours, therefore, there are from 
 five to six or seven hours, which every man is 
 under obligation to both society and himself to 
 turn to some good account. He is insane if he 
 spend it in mere slothfulness and pleasure-taking. 
 
 In rightly improving this time, every young 
 man, who is earnestly seeking to unfold the native 
 energies of his mind by giving it the food which 
 God designed that it should receive, will soon 
 discover, that, after a night’s repose, his mind is 
 clearer and more vigorous than after a day spent 
 in labor, and, perhaps, anxiety; and he will nat- 
 urally seek to give as much time for study in the 
 morning as possible. Early rising will bring to 
 him a twofold benefit; it will strengthen both 
 mind and body. 
 
 To a young man who has acquired the habit of 
 indulging himself in morning slothfulness, it will be 
 something of a trial to rise at five o’clock, in both 
 winter and summer ; but the self-denial practised 
 in doing this will be so fully repaid, in a little while 
 that we are sure no one, who has awakened up to 
 the responsibility of his position, and the incalcu- 
 
INDOLENCE AND WANT OF ORDER. 117 
 
 lable benefits that must result from efforts such as 
 he is making, will sink down again into dis- 
 graceful indolence. It is no hardship to rise 
 early; it only requires an effort at first; and when 
 one is fairly awake, and begins to drink in the 
 pure morning air, and to feel a refreshing sense 
 of new life and vigor, he is glad that he is not 
 lost in dulness or leaden insensibility. The 
 heavy torpor that we find so hard to overcome 
 in the morning, and which we rest in as a pleas- 
 ant sensation, is misery compared to the sense of 
 life that runs through every nerve of body and 
 mind after pure cold water has touched the face, 
 and the lungs have expanded with the fresh and 
 vigorous morning air. 
 
 But not only in the morning, but at all times, 
 should we strive against this feeling of indolence. 
 Every man has it; but only they whose purposes 
 are strong enough to enable them to overcome it, 
 rise to any eminence in the world. The demands 
 of nature keep others at work at their daily tasks. 
 Enough earned to satisfy these, and the mind and 
 body sink again into inaction. In all, there is 
 an almost unconquerable reluctance to effort of 
 any kind. We are oppressed by an inertia that it 
 requires some force to overcome. But we must, 
 exercise this force, and do it daily ; and we shall 
 find the task more and more easily accomp ished 
 
118 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 until diligence and effort become to us almost a 
 second nature. 
 
 Next to indolence, with which all are more or 
 less affected, comes want of order, which in some 
 is a constitutional defect, and in others the re- 
 sult of education — or, more correctly speaking, 
 want of education. Some children are never 
 taught the importance of order ; and, as very few 
 have naturally a love of order, nearly all who are 
 thus neglected are very deficient in this respect 
 when they become men. But it is never too late 
 to correct this bad habit ; and the quicker a young 
 man begins to do so, the better. Let him com- 
 mence by having in his own chamber, for in- 
 stance, a place for every thing, and by being 
 careful to have every thing in its place. If a 
 clerk, the same order should be observed at his 
 desk. First, there should be a system established, 
 by which to arrange all his books and papers in 
 the best way for access and reference ; and then, 
 when a book has been used, or a paper referred to, 
 it should invariably be returned to its proper place, 
 before any thing else is done. The same rule, 
 of a place for every thing and every thing in its 
 place, should be observed by all, in every calling. 
 The most fruitful source of disorder lies in the 
 habit most persons have of laying a thing down 
 in the first place that presents itself, after using 
 
INDOLENCE AND WANT OF ORDER. 119 
 
 it, instead of restoring it to where it properly 
 belongs. It seems to many, when in a hurry, s 
 waste of time to carefully return a thing to the 
 place from which they have taken it, instead of 
 throwing it down any where; but this is a great 
 mistake : the very reverse is the truth. 
 
 if. in all the little matters of daily business or 
 domestic arrangement, a system of order be ob- 
 served, it will become so impressed upon the 
 mind as to show itself in things of more impor 
 tance. From adopting in things of lesser moment 
 an orderly arrangement, a man will naturally pur- 
 sue an orderly arrangement in all his more im- 
 portant affairs, and thus insure success, which 
 would otherwise have been extremely doubtful. 
 
 As nothing great can be accomplished without 
 industry and an earnest purpose, so nothing great 
 can be accomplished without order. The one is 
 indispensable to the other, and they go hand in 
 hand, as co-workers, in man’s elevation 
 A young man whose early training had been 
 defective, and whose early opportunities for educa- 
 tion limited, found himself at twenty two years 
 of age occupying the lowest place in a large 
 wholesale store in Philadelphia — that of porter — 
 at a salary of three hundred dollars a year. He 
 was naturally indolent and given to self-indulgence, 
 and these, more than anything else, ftad conspired 
 
120 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 to keep him in a low external condition. At 
 fifteen he attempted to learn a trade, but the early 
 hour at which he was required to be at work, and 
 the steady industry, running through from ten to 
 twelve hours of the day, which was demanded, 
 were more than he would submit to; and so, after 
 three or four months’ trial, he gave up the effort. 
 
 Unfortunately for him, he had a father upon 
 whom he could lean. Not a rich father ; nor one 
 in easy circumstances ; but one who was only a 
 hard working mechanic, gathering by daily toil a 
 scanty supply of food and clothing for his family. 
 From the work shop, where he might have ac- 
 quired a useful trade, the boy went into a store. 
 But as no salary was to be paid until the com- 
 mencement of a second year, he soon got tired, as 
 he said, of working for nothing, and left a situa- 
 tion in which only industry and order on his part 
 were required to give him a standing and secure 
 his future good fortune. 
 
 Then came a whole year of idleness, in which 
 some dangerous bad habits were formed ; and then 
 a year of intermittent industry. And so it had 
 gone on, until the death of his father, just after 
 he became of age, threw him out upon the world, 
 scarcely better able to provide for himself than 
 the fledgeling pushed forth from its nest. If he 
 had stood afone, the case would have looked to him 
 
INDOLENCE AND WANT OP ORDER. 121 
 
 more hopeful : but, there were a mother and two 
 young sisters, and their eyes turned naturally to- 
 ward him, strong, healthy, and just on the verge 
 of manhood. He had a kind, affectionate nature; 
 and his heart answered to the mute appeal of their 
 eyes. No, he could not, he would not desert 
 them ; but would gather up his strength, go out 
 into the world, and make an effort to sustain them 
 by his labor. 
 
 But, what could he do? Ah, there came the 
 perplexing and disheartening question. He had 
 no trade. He knew nothing of accounts. He 
 could scarcely write a legible hand. Yet some- 
 thing must be done. The wolf was at the door 
 of his beloved ones, now solely dependent on him; 
 and his arm must battle with the hungry beast 
 and slay him. 
 
 For weeks he sought for some kind of regular 
 employment; but only met with little odd jobs of 
 porterage and the like ; not earning over fifty 
 cents a day. Then he was so fortunate as to get 
 the situation of porter in a large wholesale store 
 at a salary of three hundred dollars. This was in 
 mid-winter. The duties of the situation required 
 him to be first at the store, and as he lived nearly 
 a mile distant, he had to rise before daylight, in 
 order to be at his post in time. 
 
 It went hard wi f h him, this new life ; but the 
 
122 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 pressure of necessity kept him up to the mark 
 He had a quick mind, and he soon began, under 
 the influence of this new set of circumstances, to 
 observe and think in a way to which he had never 
 been accustomed. He began to understand the 
 difference of power which skill imparts — skill in 
 any thing. The fact that a young man whose 
 natural ability was not equal to his own, but who 
 could write a fair hand, and make calculations 
 readily, stood far above him in the store as to 
 position and income, was something very sugges- 
 tive. “I’ll go to night school/' he said to himself, 
 one day, as this subject pressed itself upon his 
 thoughts. “ I'll gain a better knowledge of figures, 
 and practice writing.’' 
 
 But, this state of enthusiasm was at first only a 
 temporary condition. On reaching home at night, 
 weary from the day’s hard service, he felt but 
 little inclination for study ; and lounged through 
 the evening, or spent the hours in company with 
 young men who were idle and aimless — old com- 
 panions who still clung to him. 
 
 The right thought, however, had found a lodge- 
 ment in his mind, and it was not an idle thought. 
 Daily the contrast between himself and other young 
 men in the store was pressed upon him ; and gra- 
 dually resolution acquired strength, until it pro- 
 duced action. The night school was at last entered; 
 
INDOLENCE AND WANT Or ORDER. 123 
 
 and then came the earnest work. V ery slow were the 
 first steps; difficult to be taken; and often attended 
 by the spirit of discouragement. But a purpose 
 had been formed ; and this was the spur to his 
 mind. One of the first good results was a separa- 
 tion of himself from certain young acquaintances, 
 who had no ambition of the right kind; who were 
 too mentally indolent for improvement. Their 
 indolence, and love of mere sensual pleasures, had 
 helped to keep him down to their low level. 
 
 It was noticed in time, that he wrote a tolerably 
 legible band, and the shipping clerk seeing this, 
 transferred to him the duty of filling up bills of 
 lading, and slip receipts for goods. He was pleased 
 with this acknowledgment of his progress, which 
 had been rather discouraging in his own eyes, and 
 took especial pains to be correct and orderly. 
 
 The shipping clerk, whose social advantages 
 had been in every way superior to those of our 
 young porter, whom we will simply call James, 
 for convenience of identity, was not by any means 
 as much interested in his daily duties as he was 
 in his evening pleasures. He didn’t like work, 
 and was ready to shift off upon others whatever 
 could readily be transferred. So, finding that 
 James was willing, intelligent, and accommoda- 
 ting, he delegated one duty after another, until 
 
124 
 
 ADVICE TO YOT/NG MEN. 
 
 not less than a third of his work was done by the 
 porter. 
 
 Thrifty employers generally see all that is going 
 on in their establishments, and it did not escape 
 the notice of a member of the firm, that James 
 was doing duty as a shipping clerk, as well as por- 
 ter. He looked on in silence, but noted the 
 manner in which the porter executed the tasks of 
 pen and figure work that the shipping clerk re- 
 quired of him. One day, about a year after J ames 
 weut into the store, it happened that from sick- 
 ness or some other cause, the shipping clerk was 
 absent. It was in the height of the busy season, 
 and the hands of every one were full. So this 
 member of the firm, who had been observing the 
 porter, said to him : 
 
 “ James, do you think you can attend to the 
 shipment of goods to-day ?” 
 
 “ Yes, sir,” was the prompt answer. 
 
 “Very well. We’ll get some one to do your 
 work, and make you shipping clerk, pro tem- 
 pore.” 
 
 To be called a shipping clerk, pleased James 
 mightily, and awakened new throbbings of ambi- 
 tion in his mind. He performed all the duties of 
 the position for that day, satisfactorily ; better, 
 indeed, than they were usually performed by the 
 person whose place he had filled. 
 
INDOLENCE AND WANT OF ORDER. 125 
 
 On the next day, the shipping clerk being still 
 absent, James took his place again, and so on the 
 day following. So pleased was the member of the 
 firm who had entrusted him with these duties, at 
 his promptness, intelligence, and accuracy, that 
 he began to regard him with a new interest, and 
 to look upon him as a valuable young man in the 
 establishment. 
 
 When the shipping clerk returned to his post, 
 he became the object of a closer attention than 
 usual ; and some comparisons that were made be- 
 tween him and James, were not altogether in his 
 favor. Like too many young men, he kept bad 
 hours, and was, in consequence, heavy in the 
 morning, and a late riser. A natural indolence, 
 and inclination to self-indulgence, prevented any 
 successful resistance of his morning sleepiness, 
 and though called by the servant at his boarding- 
 house in good time, he was rarely down to break- 
 fast until long after the period when he should 
 have been at the store. This was not satisfac- 
 tory to his employers, who occasionally remon- 
 strated. 
 
 About this time, some serious errors in the ship- 
 ment of goods were discovered, and the clerk, on 
 being called to account rather sharply, became 
 angry, and spoke in a way that was offensive. 
 His dismissal from the house followed as a conse< 
 
126 
 
 advice to young men. 
 
 quence. The porter was raised to the vacant post, 
 and his salary increased to the sum of five hun- 
 dred dollars. 
 
 Now, James had life and purpose sufficient to 
 overcome all his natural indolence. This rapid 
 elevation to a place for which he had made himself 
 competent in a short time, showed him the way 
 upwards, and he determined to climb patiently 
 and perseveringly. All his evenings were spent 
 in self-improvement. He took not only one course 
 of lessons from a writing teacher, but many, de- 
 termining to acquire a style of penmanship that 
 would fit him for any place, where other qualifi- 
 cations were of the right character. He studied 
 book-keeping, also. For two years he occupied 
 the place of shipping clerk. Then, a higher po- 
 sition was made vacant, in consequence of the in- 
 dolent habits of a clerk, and he was again ele- 
 vated. 
 
 Two years afterwards, his services were required 
 in a still more important place, the incumbent of 
 which had also grown indolent, and, in conse- 
 quence, unreliable. His salary was now one thou- 
 sand dollars. And so he continued to rise from 
 one position to another, until, from chief and con- 
 fidential clerk, he became a member of the firm. 
 He is now a man of large fortune, all of which he 
 owes to a resolute character, by which he over 
 
INDOLENCE AND WANT OF ORDER. 
 
 m 
 
 came early defects and bad habits, not the least of 
 which was indolence. 
 
 In the history of most successful men, whether 
 in science, art, or trade, it will be found that the 
 first real movement upwards did not take place, 
 until, in a spirit of resolute self-denial, indolence, 
 so natural to almost every one, was mastered. 
 Necessity is, usually, the spur that sets the slug- 
 gish energies in motion. Poverty, therefore, is 
 oftener a blessing to a young man than prosperity; 
 for, while the one tends to stimulate his powers, 
 the other inclines them to languor and disuse. 
 But, is it not very discreditable for the young man, 
 who is favored with education, friends, and all the 
 outside advantages which could be desired as 
 means to worldly success, to let those who stand 
 in these respects, at the beginning, far below him, 
 gradually approach as the steady years move on, 
 and finally outstrip him in the race ? It is not 
 only discreditable, but disgraceful. A man’s true 
 position in society, is that which he achieves for 
 himself — he is worth to the world no more, no less. 
 As he builds for society in useful work, so he builds 
 for himself. He is a man for what he does, not for 
 what his father or his friends have done. If they 
 have done well, and given him a position, the deeper 
 the shame, if he sink down to a meaner level 
 through self-indulgence and indolence. 
 
128 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 INTIMATE FRIENDSHIPS. 
 
 While there is a use in intimate friendships, 
 there is also no little danger. An intimate friend- 
 ship with a bad man will almost inevitably cor- 
 rupt one of pure morals; for it is much easier to 
 pervert than to restore to good, because evil in 
 man usually seeks more ardently for the attain-'" 
 ment of its ends than good. 
 
 The danger of an intimate acquaintance with 
 a bad man will be seen in what we are about to 
 relate. 
 
 Two mothers, who had been intimate friends 
 from girlhood, had each a son, whose ages were 
 nearly alike. The children, while young, were 
 not, from various causes, thrown much together,, 
 and, when old enough to go to college, were sent 
 
 to different institutions. Charles S had ever 
 
 been of a mild, obedient, teachable disposition; 
 while James L was the very reverse — pas- 
 
 sionate,, self-willed, and intractable. The one 
 was a blessing to ris family, the other a trouble 
 to all his friends. 
 
INTIMATE FRIENDSHIPS. 
 
 129 
 
 As young men, they came home from college 
 unchanged in their peculiar dispositions. Charles 
 S was domestic in his habits, mild and gen- 
 
 tlemanly in his deportment, and showed no incli- 
 nation to run into the excesses so peculiar to his 
 
 age. James L , on the contrary, had no taste 
 
 for the home circle. It was too tame for him. 
 And the temptations that met one of his temper-' 
 ament, beyond this circle, were corrupting him 
 
 with fearful rapidity. James L was an only 
 
 son, and his mother’s affections had ever been 
 earnestly drawn out towards him. The excesses 
 into which he was running greatly distressed her, 
 and she often, by tender entreaty and earnest ex- 
 postulation, sought to draw him away from his 
 infatuation. But all in vain. He had tasted the 
 cup of sensual delight, and it had fired all the 
 corrupt passions of his nature. 
 
 One day, while on a visit to Mrs. S , the 
 
 mother of James L said, — 
 
 “Ah, what would I not give if James was like 
 your Charles! I believe I should be the happiest 
 mother alive. But from the day of his birth, my 
 boy has been a trouble to me ; and I fear he will 
 continue to be so until the day of his death.” 
 
 “ Charles has always been a good boy,” replied 
 
 Mis. S . “ He is a great comfort to me now, 
 
 for he appears to love home better than any place 
 else.” a 
 
130 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 “ While my James loves any place better than 
 home. Ah me ! He will break my heart, I fear, 
 at last.” 
 
 c ‘ O, no, I hope not. Young men are often 
 wild at first But a few years sober them 
 down.” • 
 
 “ Such may be the case, but I am very fearful. 
 I wish he had some better companions than those 
 with whom I think he now associates.” 
 
 This remark led on to others referring to the 
 great influence a young man’s associates have 
 over him in leading him into or away from evil ; 
 and finally it was settled between the mothers 
 that great good might result from making the 
 young men better acquainted with each other. 
 
 “ O, I am sure it will be the best thing in the 
 world for my James, if he were to form an attach- 
 ment for Charles,” Mrs. L said, as she re- 
 
 ferred to the matter, after it had been settled that 
 the two young men should be thrown together as 
 much as possible. 
 
 To accomplish this, it was arranged, between 
 
 Mrs. S and Mrs. L , that they should 
 
 visit each other frequently, and induce their sons, 
 as often as it could be done, to accompany them. 
 By this means it occurred that the young men 
 often met, and either in conversation or in games 
 of chess, at which both were skilful and nearlv 
 
INTIMATE FRIENDSHIPS. 
 
 131 
 
 matched, passed the time they were compelled 
 to spend in each other’s society. Somehow or 
 other — -not by the law of similarity, certainly — 
 the two young men formed a friendship for each 
 other, which increased until it assumed a very 
 intimate character. And now came the impor- 
 tant crisis — the turning point — when the pre- 
 ponderance would be in favor of either good or 
 evil — when the good principles of the one would 
 not only defend him against evil, but give him 
 power to lead the other out of evil, or when the 
 evil would subdue and destroy the good. It was a 
 period of fearful import. Alas ! the experiment — 
 a most dangerous one — proved fatal to the gener- 
 ous hopes of Mrs. S . She failed to save the 
 
 son of her friend, and lost her own, who soon be- 
 came corrupt and debased even to a worse exter- 
 nal degree than he by whom he had been tempted 
 from the right way. 
 
 And this is by no means a thing to excite sur- 
 prise. An opposite result would have been a 
 matter of greater wonder. Temptations to evil 
 are far more powerful than allurements to good, 
 because the former appeal to inherent evil ten- 
 dencies, while the latter present but few attrac- 
 tions to one who has debased himself by indul- 
 gence in sensual appetites and passions. He sees 
 nothing delightful in restraining these, because in 
 
132 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUN<5 MEN. 
 
 their gratification he has found what he esteems 
 the highest pleasure. 
 
 From this may be seen the danger of an inti- 
 mate friendship with a man of bad habits ; and 
 scarcely less dangerous is an association with one 
 of bad principles. In fact, we do not believe that 
 an intimate friendship can be formed with a man 
 whose principles are bad, without great injury. 
 A young man, who has a respect for religion and 
 morality, cannot long hear them ridiculed and 
 assailed by a friend in whose society he takes 
 pleasure, without gradually losing his respect for 
 both ; nor can he hear, from the same source, con- 
 stant allusions made to the pleasures of a vicious 
 indulgence of the natural appetites and propen- 
 sities, without being himself tempted into similar 
 indulgence. 
 
 F riendships are desirable and useful ; and in- 
 timate friendships, where there is a similarity of 
 affection for what is good and true, are not only 
 delightful to those who enjoy them, but elevating, 
 and strengthening to the mind. In true friend- 
 ship, each seeks to benefit and give the other 
 pleasure ; and the effect of this is to lead a man 
 out of himself, and thus to love himself less. But 
 an evil-disposed man, who is and must be a selfish 
 man, cannot reciprocate true friendship ; and the 
 reason is, because he cannot love any thing out 
 
irjTIMAVE FRIENDSHIPS 
 
 133 
 
 of himself. He may affect the virtue of friend- 
 ship, because he receives pleasuie or benefit from 
 the individual with whom he seeks to associate; 
 but there is not, and cannot be, any reciprocation 
 of true friendship in his heart, for he is incapable 
 of it ; and whenever he finds another more qual- 
 ified to gratify his selfish feelings, he will desert 
 the friend for whom he has professed so much 
 disinterested regard. 
 
 Considering the danger that' appertains to an 
 association with a man of bad principles and 
 habits, and also bearing in mind the fact that a 
 selfish man cannot love any thing out of himself, 
 every young man who sincerely desires to elevate 
 himself morally, as well as intellectually and tem- 
 porally, will examine well into the character of 
 all with whom he is on terms of intimacy ; and 
 if in his best friend, so esteemed, he find a 
 blunted moral sense, let him separate himself from 
 that friend as quickly as it is possible for him to 
 do it, and the more especially if he possess a de- 
 cided character, and seek to lead others rather 
 than to be led and influenced himself. If, on the 
 contrary, that friend is rather disposed to look 
 up to and be influenced by him, his plain duty is 
 to seek first to correct false ideas, and to restore 
 to quicker perceotions the moral powers ; but if he 
 fail in this, — if evil is still preferred ;ogood, — let 
 
134 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 the separation take place, no matter at what cost 
 of feeling. It is the one only safe course of 
 action; for in such a friendship there is always 
 danger. 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 HOME. 
 
 Society is marked by greater and smaller 
 divisions, as into nations, communities, and 
 families. A man is a member of the common- 
 wealth, a smaller community, as a hamlet or city, 
 and his family at the same time ; and the more 
 perfectly all his duties to his family are dis- 
 charged, the more fully does he discharge his 
 duties to the community and the nation ; for a 
 good member of a family cannot be a bad mem- 
 ber of the commonwealth, for he that is faithful 
 in what is least will also be faithful in what is 
 greater. Indeed, the more perfectly a man fulfils 
 all his domestic duties, the more perfectly, in that 
 very act, has he discharged his duty to the whole; 
 for the whole is made up of parts, and its health 
 depends entirely upon the health of the various 
 parts. There are, of course, general as well as 
 
HOME 
 
 135 
 
 specific duties ; but the more conscientious a man 
 is in the discharge of specific duties, the more 
 ready will he be to perform those that are gen- 
 eral ; and we believe that the converse of this 
 will be found equally true, and that those who 
 have least regard for home — who have; indeed, 
 no home, no domestic circle — are the worst 
 citizens. * This they may not be, apparently ; they 
 may not break the laws, nor do any thing to 
 call down upon them censure from the community, 
 and yet, in the secret and almost unconscious 
 dissemination of demoralizing principles, may be 
 doing a work far more destructive of the public 
 good than if they had committed a robbery. 
 
 We always feel pain when we hear a young 
 man speak lightly of home, and talk carelessly, 
 or it may be with sportive ridicule, of the “ old 
 man,” and the “old woman,” as if they were of 
 but little consequence. We mark it as a bad 
 indication, and feel that the feet of that young 
 man are treading upon dangerous ground. His 
 home education may not have been of the best 
 kind, nor may home influences have reached his 
 higher and better feelings ; but he is at least old 
 enough now to understand the causes, and to seek 
 rather to bring into his home all that it needs to 
 render it more attractive, than to estrange him- 
 self from it, and expose its defects. 
 
136 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 Instances of this kind are not of very frequent 
 occurrence. Home has its charms for nearly all, 
 and the very name comes with a blessing to the 
 spirit. This, however, is more the case with 
 those who have been separated from it, than it is 
 with those who yet remain in the old' homestead, 
 with parents, brothers, and sisters, as their friends 
 and companions. 
 
 The earnest love of home, felt by nearly all 
 who have been compelled to leave that pleasant 
 place, is a feeling that should be tenderly cher- 
 ished : and this love should be kept alive by 
 associations that have in them as perfect a re- 
 semblance of home as it is possible to obtain. It 
 is for this reason that it is bad for a young man 
 to board in a large hotel, where there is nothing 
 in which there is even an image of the home 
 circle. Each has his separate chamber; but that 
 is not home : all meet together at the common 
 table ; but there is no home feeling there, with 
 its many sweet reciprocations. The meal com- 
 pleted, all separate, each to his individual pur- 
 suit or pleasure. There is a parlor, it is true ; 
 but there are no family gatherings there. One 
 and another sit there, as inclination prompts ; but 
 each sits alone, busy with his own thoughts. All 
 this is a poor substitute for home. And yet it 
 offers its attractions to some. A young man ia 
 
HOME. 
 
 137 
 
 a hotel has more freedom than in a family or 
 private boarding-house. He comes in and goes 
 out unobserved; there is no one to say to him, 
 “why?” or “ wherefore?” But this is a danger- 
 ous freedom, and one which no young man should 
 desire. 
 
 But mere negative evils, so to speak, are not 
 the worst that beset a young man who unwisely 
 chooses a public hotel as a place for boarding. 
 He is much more exposed to temptations there 
 than in a private boarding-house or at home. 
 Men of licentious habits, in most cases, select 
 hotels as boarding-places; and such rarely scruple 
 to offer to the ardent minds of young men, with 
 whom they happen to fall in company, those 
 allurements that are most likely to lead them away 
 from virtue. And, besides this, there being no 
 evening home-circle in a hotel, a young man who 
 is not engaged earnestly in some pursuit that 
 occupies his hours of leisure from business, has 
 nothing to keep him there, but is forced to seek 
 for something to interest his mind elsewhere, and 
 is, in consequence, more open to temptation. 
 
 Home is man’s true place. Every man should 
 have a home. Here his first duties lie, and here 
 he finds the strength by which he is able suc- 
 cessfully to combat in life’s temptations. Happy 
 is that young man who is still blessed with a 
 
138 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 home, — who has his mother’s counsel and the 
 pure love of 'sisters to strengthen and cheer him 
 amid life’s opening combats. 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 PARENTS 
 
 Although the attainment of mature age takes 
 away the obligation of obedience to parents, as 
 well as the right of dependence upon them, it 
 should lessen in no way a young man’s deference, 
 respect, or affection. For twenty-one years, or 
 from the earliest period of infancy, through child- 
 hood and youth, up to mature age, his parents 
 have felt, and thought, and labored for him. 
 They have watched over his pillow, anxiously, in 
 sickness ; they have, with the most unselfish love, 
 earnestly sought his good in every thing, even to 
 the extent of much self-denial ; and can he now 
 offer them less than deference, respect, and affec- 
 tion? No : surely no young man will withhold 
 this. 
 
 Let us show you a picture. Do you see that 
 feeb. e infant asleep on its mother’s bosom ? Ho\t 
 
PARENTS. 
 
 139 
 
 nelpless it lies! How dependent it is upon others 
 for every thing ! The neglect of a moment might 
 cause some fatal injury to a being so entirely 
 powerless. But that mother’s love neither slum- 
 bers nor sleeps. It is ever around the fragile 
 creature committed to her care, and she is ready 
 to guard its life with her own. You once lay 
 thus in your mother’s arms, and she nourished 
 your helpless infancy thus at her bosom. She 
 watched over you, loved you, protected and de- 
 fended you; and all was from love, — deep, 
 pure, fervent love, — the first love, and the most 
 unselfish love that ever has or ever will bless you 
 in this life, for it asked for and expected no re- 
 turn. A mother’s love ! — it is the most perfect 
 reflection of the love of God ever thrown back 
 from the mirror of a human heart. 
 
 Here is another picture. A mother sits in 
 grief, and her boy, now no longer an infant, 
 stands in sullen disobedience by her side. She 
 has striven to correct his faults for his own good, 
 and in love reproved him ; but he would not re- 
 gard her admonitions. Again and again she 
 has sought, by gentle urgings, to direct him to 
 good ; but all has been in vain, and she now re- 
 sorts to punishment, that is far more painful to 
 her than to her child. The scene is changed. 
 See where she sits now, alone, bitterly weeping. 
 
140 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 There is an image in her mind, and bit one, 
 that obscures all the rest; it is the image of her 
 suffering child — suffering by her hand ! Her 
 breast labors heavily, her heart is oppressed — she 
 feels deep anguish of spirit. But she has done 
 her duty, painful though it has been, and that 
 sustains her. You were once a boy like that; 
 and thus your own mother has grieved over your 
 disobedience, and felt the same bitterness of 
 spirit. And love for you was the cause. Can 
 you ever forget this? 
 
 Do you see that darkened chamber? By the 
 bed of sickness sits a pale watcher, and there are 
 tears upon her cheek. Day and night, for nearly 
 a week, has she sat by the bed, or moved with 
 noiseless feet about the room. She has not taken 
 off her garments during the time; nor has she 
 joined the family at their regular meals. Who is 
 the object of all this deep solicitude? It is her 
 child. The hand of sickness is upon him, and 
 he has drawn near to the gates of death. In her 
 solicitude, she forgets even herself. She has but 
 one thought, and that is for her offspring. Her 
 love, her care, her anxious hopes are at length 
 rewarded. The destroyer passes by, and leaves 
 her her child. Thus has your mother watched, 
 day by day and night by night, beside your couch 
 of sickness. Never forget this, young man. 
 
PARENTS. 
 
 141 
 
 Fjrget every other obligation, Dut never forget 
 how much you owe your mother ! You can never 
 know a thousandth part of what she has endured 
 for your sake ; and now, in her old age, all she 
 asks is, that you will love her — not with the 
 love she still bears to you ; she does not expect 
 that — and care for her, that life’s sunshine may 
 still come through the windows and over the 
 threshold of her dwelling. 
 
 And with no less of respect and affection 
 should a young man think of his father. Not 
 until his own life-trials come on will he fully un- 
 derstand how much he owes his father. It is no 
 light task which a man takes upon himself — that 
 of sustaining, by his single efforts, a whole family, 
 and sustaining them in comfort, and perhaps in 
 luxury. You have an education that enables you 
 to take a respectable position in society; you 
 have a groundwork of good principles; habits 
 of industry; in fact, all that a young man need 
 ask for in order that he may rise in the world ; 
 and for these you are indebted to your father. 
 To give you such advantages, cost him labor, 
 self-denial, and much anxious thought. Many 
 times, during the struggle to sustain his family, 
 has he been pressed down with worldly difficul- 
 ties, and almost ready to despair. He has seen 
 his last dollar, it may be, leave his hand, withou 
 
142 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 knowing certainly where the next was to :ome 
 from. But still, his love for his children has 
 urged him on, and by new and more vigorous 
 efforts he hras overcome the difficulties by which 
 he was surrounded. 
 
 A young man should think often of these 
 things, and let them influence his conduct to his 
 parents. There will come a time in life when 
 such thoughts will force themselves upon him ; 
 but these thoughts may come too late. 
 
 Towards parents the deportment should always 
 be deferential and kind. A young man, who 
 properly reflects upon the new relation now exist- 
 ing between them and himself, will naturally 
 change his manner of address, and be far more 
 guarded than he was before he arrived of age, 
 lest he say or do any thing that might cause them 
 to feel that he now considered himself beyond 
 their control. When they advise, he should con- 
 sider well what they say; and, if compelled to 
 differ from them, he should carefully explain the 
 reason, and show truly his regret at not being 
 able to act from their judgment of the matter. 
 As a general thing, however, he will find theii 
 advice to be Detter than the counsels of his 
 own scarcely-fledged reason, and he will do well 
 seriously to deliberate upon it, before taking his 
 
 own course 
 
PARENTS. 
 
 143 
 
 Above all, let no unkind word ever pass youi 
 lips. Nothing stings so, nothing so deep ly wounds 
 the heart of a parent, as harsh words from his 
 children who have grown up and become men 
 and women. Almost as bad as this is neglect. 
 The older your father and mother gruw, the nar- 
 rower becomes the sphere of their hopes and 
 wishes, until, at length, all thought and all affec- 
 tion are centred in their children. But while 
 this is going on, the children’s minds are becom- 
 ing more and more absorbed in the cares, duties, 
 and new affections of life, until their parents are 
 almost forgotten. Forewarned of this tendency, 
 let every one strive against it, lest he wound by 
 neglect, either seeming or real, a heart that has 
 loved him from life’s earliest dawn up to the 
 present moment. 
 
 But not alone in deference, respect, and marks 
 of affection, lie the limits of a young man’s duties 
 to his parents. He should endeavor to take up 
 and bear for them, if too heavy for their declin- 
 ing strength, some of the burdens that oppress 
 them. He should particularly consider his father, 
 and see if the entire support of the family that 
 yet remains upon his hands does not tax his 
 efforts too far; and, if such be the case, he should 
 deny himself almost any thing, in order to render 
 some aid. For years, he has been receiving all 
 
144 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 that he required, and it is now but fair u at he 
 should begin to make some return. 
 
 How often do we see two or three sons, all in 
 the receipt of good salaries, spending their money 
 in self-indulgence, while their father is toiling on 
 for his younger children, broken in health, per- 
 haps disappointed in his worldly prospects, and 
 almost despairing in regard to the final result of 
 all his efforts ! They come and go, and never 
 think that any thing is due from them. It does 
 not occur to them, that., if each were to deny 
 himself the gratification of his desires to the 
 extent of one hundred dollars a year, and the 
 aggregate amount were placed in their father’s 
 hands to aid in supporting the family, it would 
 take a mountain of care from his shoulders. 
 Why is it that so many young men forget their 
 duty in this important matter 1 One would think 
 that no prompter was required here to remind 
 them of their part. But it is not so. On the 
 contrary, it is a thing of such rare occurrence for 
 a son to practise self-denial for the sake of his 
 parents, that, wherever it is seen, it forms the 
 subject of remark. 
 
 We often see parents who have enjoyed but 
 few advantages themselves, and who, in conse- 
 quence, are compelled to occupy lower and more 
 'aborious positions in the world, denying them* 
 
PARENTS. 
 
 H5 
 
 selves many comforts and all the luxuries of life, 
 in order to give their children die very best 
 education possible for them to provide. We see 
 these children growing up, and too often the first 
 return they make is in the form of invidious com- 
 parisons between themselves and the very parents 
 to whom they owe almost every thing! In a lit- 
 tle while, they step into the world as men, and, 
 becoming absorbed in its pursuits from various 
 selfish ends, seem to forget entirely that their 
 parents are still toiling on, enfeebled by years, 
 and over exertion for their sakes, and with the 
 very sweat of their time-worn brows digging out 
 from the hard earth, so to speak, the scanty food 
 and raiment required to sustain nature. Ah ! but 
 this is a melancholy sight. Could any thing tell 
 the sad tale of man’s declension from good so 
 eloquently as this ? 
 
 It is plainly the duty of every young man, 
 whose parents are poor and compelled to labor 
 beyond their strength, to aid them to the extent 
 of his ability. They have borne the burden for 
 him through many years. From their toil and 
 self-denial he now has the means of rising higher 
 in the world than they had the ability ever tc 
 rise ; but he is unjust and ungrateful, if, in his 
 eager efforts to advance too rapidly, he forget and 
 neglect them. Nothing can excuse conduct so 
 
 unnatural, so cruel. 
 
 10 
 
146 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN 
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 SISTERS. 
 
 If you have younger sisters, who are just en- 
 tering society, all your interest should be awak- 
 ened for them. You cannot but have seen some 
 little below the surface, and already made the 
 discovery, that too few of the young men who 
 move about in the various social circles to which 
 you have admission, are fit associates for a pure- 
 minded woman. Their exterior, it is true, is very 
 fair ; they si-ng well, they dance well, their persons 
 are elegant, and their manners attractive ; but you 
 have met them when they felt none of the restraints 
 of female society, and seen them unmask their 
 real characters. You can remember the ribald 
 jest, the obscene allusion, the sneer at virtue, the 
 unblushing acknowledgment of licentiousness. 
 You have heard them speak of this sweet girl, 
 and that pure-minded woman, in terms that 
 would have roused your deepest indignation, had 
 your own sister been the subject of allusion. 
 
 You may know all these things, but your inno- 
 cent sisters at home cannot know them, nor see rea* 
 
SISTERS. 
 
 147 
 
 son for shunning the society of those whose real 
 characters, if revealed, would cause them to turn 
 away in disgust and horror. From the dangers 
 of an acquaintanceship with such young men it 
 is your duty to guard your sisters ; and you must 
 do this more by warding off the evil than by 
 warnings against it. In order to this, you should 
 make it a point of duty always to go with 
 your sisters into company, and to be their com- 
 panion, if possible, on all public occasions. By 
 so doing, you can prevent the introduction of 
 men whose principles are bad ; or, if such intro- 
 ductions are forced upon them in spite of you, 
 can throw in a timely word of caution. This lat- 
 ter it may be too late to do after an acquaint- 
 anceship is formed with a man whose character 
 is detestable in your eyes, provided he have a 
 fair exterior. Your sister will hardly be made 
 to believe that one who is so attractive in all re- 
 spects, and who can converse of virtue and honor 
 so eloquently, can possibly have an impure or 
 vicious mind. She will think you prejudiced. 
 The great thing is to guard, by every means in 
 your power, these innocent ones from the pol- 
 luting presence of a bad man. You cannot tell 
 how soon he may win the affections of the most 
 innocent, confiding, and loving of them all, and 
 draw her off from virtue. And even if his de- 
 
148 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN 
 
 signs be honorable, if he win her but to wed her 
 her lot will be by no means an enviable one: 
 he cannot make her happy ; for happy no pure- 
 minded woman ever has been, or ever can be 
 made by a corrupt, evil-minded, and selfish man. 
 
 You are a brother; your position is one ol 
 great responsibility ; let this be ever before your 
 mind. On your faithfulness to your duty may 
 depend a lifetime of happiness or misery for 
 those who are, or ought to be, very dear to you. 
 But not only should you seek to guard them from 
 the danger just alluded to, — your affection for 
 them should lead you to enter into their pleasures 
 as far as in your power to do so ; to give interest 
 and variety to the home circle ; to afford them, at 
 all times, the assistance of your judgment in mat- 
 ters of trivial as well as grave importance. By 
 this, you will gain their confidence and acquire 
 an influence over them that may, at some later 
 period, enable you to serve them in a moment of 
 impending danger. 
 
 We very often — indeed, far too often — see 
 young men with sisters, who appear to be entirely 
 indifferent in regard to them. They rarely visit 
 together ; their associates, male and female, are 
 strangers to each other ; they appear to have no 
 common interests. This state of things is the 
 fault, nine times in ten, of the young men. It is 
 
SISTERS. 
 
 149 
 
 ihe result of their neglect and indifference. 
 There are very few sisters who do not love 
 with a most tender and unselfish regard their 
 brothers, especially their elder brothers, and who 
 would not feel happier in being their companions, 
 than in the companionship of almost any one. 
 Notwithstanding all this neglect and indifference, 
 how willingly is every little office performed that 
 adds to the brother’s comfort ! How much care 
 is there for him, who gives back so little in re- 
 turn ! The sister’s love is as unselfish as it is 
 unostentatious. It is shown in acts, not in pro- 
 fessions. How can any young man be indifferent 
 to such love? How can he fail in its full and 
 free reciprocation ? 
 
 A regard for himself, as well as for his sisters, 
 should lead a young man to be much with them. 
 Their influence in softening, polishing, and re- 
 fining his character will be very great. They 
 have perceptions of the propriety and fitness of 
 things far quicker than he has ; and this he will 
 soon see if he observe their remarks upon the 
 persons with whom they come in contact, and the 
 circumstances that transpire around them. While 
 he is reasoning on the subject, and balancing 
 many things in his mind before coming to a satis- 
 factory conclusion, they, by a kind of intuition, 
 have settled the whole matter, and settled it, he 
 
150 
 
 ADVTCE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 will find, truly. In the graver things of life, a 
 man’s judgment is more to be relied upon than 
 a woman s, because here a regular course of 
 reasoning from premises laid down is required, 
 and this a man is much more able to do than a 
 woman ; but in matters of taste and propriety, 
 and in the quick appreciation of character, a 
 woman’s perceptions are worth far more than a 
 man’s judgment. And in the more weighty and 
 serious matters of life, a man will always find 
 that he will receive aid, in coming to a nice de- 
 cision, from a wife or sister who loves him, if 
 he will only carefully lay the whole subject before 
 her, with the reasons that appeal to his judgment, 
 and be guided in some measure by her percep- 
 tions of what is right. This is because man is in 
 the province of the understanding, which acts by 
 thought, and woman in the province of the affec- 
 tions, which act by perceptions; not that a man 
 does not have perceptions and a woman reason, 
 but the leading characteristic difference between 
 the sexes is as stated, and each comes to conclu- 
 sions mainly by either the one or the other of 
 these two modes. This position, which we be- 
 lieve to be the true one in regard to the differ- 
 ence between the sexes, demonstrates the great 
 use of female society, especially the society of 
 those who feel some interest in and affection for 
 
CONDUCT AMONG MEN. 
 
 151 
 
 us. In such society, there is a reciprocation of 
 benefits that is nearly, if not quite, equal. And no 
 where can this reciprocation be of greater utility 
 than among brothers and sisters, just entering 
 upon life, with all their knowledge of human 
 character and human life to gain. 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 CONDUCT AMONG MEN. 
 
 Thrown, of necessity, among men of all char- 
 acters, habits, and professions, a young man will 
 often find himself in circumstances that require 
 him to act without his being able to see clearly, 
 at first, how he should act. He will also find 
 himself so situated at times, that, do as he may, 
 offence will be given. All that is required, in 
 cases like these, is to act from honorable princi- 
 ples ; that is, to regard truth, right, and justice. 
 Mere personal considerations, as how this one 
 or that one may feel, think, or act, ought not to 
 be regarded, when truth, right, or justice, is con- 
 cerned Nor should personal consequences be 
 taken nto the account, where a principle of in- 
 
ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 152 
 
 tegrity is involved. Let every man do riglu. ac* 
 cording to the honest dictates of his reason. 
 he has nothing to fear. 
 
 It should be settled as a principle in the mind 
 of every one, in his intercourse among men, never, 
 by word, act, or smile, to countenance vice, or 
 encourage that despicable spirit that finds de- 
 light in seeking out and magnifying the faults of 
 others. If a young friend indulge in obscene 
 remarks, do not laugh at him, but rather seek to 
 change the subject of discourse. If he take 
 more freedom, and speak of his immoralities, cen- 
 sure them as wrong without a moment’s flinch- 
 ing from your duty, and do it with a degree of 
 seriousness that will make him feel that you are 
 in earnest. By an opposite course, you will en- 
 courage vice ; but by this you may help a friend 
 to shun evils, that, if indulged in, will debase his 
 mind and make his influence in society a curse 
 instead of a blessing. 
 
 As for men of confirmed bad habits and prin- 
 ciples, make it a point to have no more intimate 
 intercourse with them than what comes in the 
 way of business. If you do, you are not only in 
 some danger yourself, but you endorse them as 
 virtuous men, thus approving their characters to 
 those who do not know them, and who may be 
 led astray by their influence. 
 
CONDUCT AMONG MEN. 
 
 153 
 
 Let every young man, in stepping out upon 
 the world’s arena, consider we 1 the principles 
 upon which he ought to act in common society. 
 Let him look to what is right more than to what 
 is expedient. Let him try to forget himself, 
 when called upon to act, in a consideration of 
 what is due to others on the abstract principles of 
 justice. He need not fear that such conduct will 
 be ever bringing him into unpleasant collision 
 with others, — although this may sometimes be 
 the case, — for the truth of his character will 
 soon be seen, felt, and appreciated. The good 
 will confide in his integrity, and the bad will 
 respect him. He will be known in the commu- 
 nity as an honest and honorable man, and this 
 character will sustain him in any trial he may 
 find it necessary to endure for the sake of right. 
 
 Deference to age, superior wisdom, and station 
 in society, may be observed without a young 
 man’s violating his self-respect, or showing any 
 undue regard for mere conventional forms. The 
 failure to do so arises from a false notion of one’s 
 own importance. Real worth is modest, and 
 always ready to defer to others ; in fact, often too 
 much so, in society, for the general good, while 
 shallow conceit is ever thrusting itself rudely 
 forward, and occupying the place of wiser and 
 better men There should always be respect 
 
154 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 and deference to age and superior wisdom, for 
 reasons that every one perceives and understands 
 and this should also be shown to those who oc 
 cupy elevated stations in society, as represent- 
 atives of the common good. The deference 
 ought not to be paid to the person, but to the 
 officer. The office is one established for the 
 good of the many, and whoever fills it ought to 
 seek the common good, and should have respect 
 and deference because he does so, or is supposed 
 to do so. He may be a bad officer, but still the 
 office is good; and while he fills it, he should 
 have respect for the sake of the office, lest that 
 come to be disregarded, or lightly thought of, in 
 the community. Of course, a mere deference to 
 rank or station, for the sake of being noticed by 
 those who hold elevated positions, and thence 
 being thought of consequence, or for the pur- 
 pose of attaining some selfish end, is wrong. 
 
 A young man, when he first enters society, 
 should think much, observe accurately, and say 
 little. By this means he will learn far more than 
 if he were forward and talkative ; and when he 
 does express his opinions, they will have their 
 due weight. It is a mistake which very many 
 fall into, when they first take their place among 
 men, that they know a great deal more than most 
 oeople whom they meet, because there are not 
 
CONDUCT AMONG MEN. 
 
 155 
 
 many who talk freely, or think it necessary to 
 tell all they know ; but in time they begin to 
 learn that the most of their knowledge of men 
 and things was only in the memory, while those 
 they deemed dull or superficial had lived and felt 
 in the world, until their lips had become well 
 nigh sealed in silence. A modest deportment is 
 that which best becomes a young man when in 
 the company of those who are older than him- 
 self. They may not have as much of certain 
 kinds of knowledge as he has; but they are far 
 more learned in the book of human life, and 
 can teach him many a lesson that it will be good 
 for him to learn. How often does the forward- 
 ness, confidence, and dogmatism of a young man 
 cause a quiet smile to rest upon the lips of his 
 seniors ! It is, therefore, wiser for a young man 
 to think, observe, and question, but to make 
 up his opinions with caution, and not be too free 
 about expressing them. For it is more than 
 probable, that a few years will show him the 
 fallacy of nearly all his first conclusions. 
 
 One of the first things which a young man 
 will notice in those into whose society he is 
 thrown, will be a habit of detraction. When 
 allusion is made to an absent person, some censo- 
 rious remark will follow ; or there may possibly 
 be allega' ions made, touching, remotely, his in- 
 
150 
 
 ADVICE TO Y DUNG MEN. 
 
 tegrity ; though these will, in general, be exceed- 
 ingly guarded, yet sufficiently plain to create a 
 prejudice in any honest mind. We would give 
 a double caution on this subject, — first, not to 
 believe much over half of what may be alleged 
 against the absent ; and second, to be exceeding- 
 ly careful not to repeat any thing that has been 
 said, and for two reasons — lest injustice be done 
 to an innocent person, and lest your remark 
 should reach the ear of the party traduced, and 
 you be called upon to prove the allegations, 
 which you might find it very difficult to do. If 
 possible, never be a party in the petty mis- 
 understandings that are of too frequent occur- 
 rence, growing out of serious or unimportant 
 charges made against one individual by another, 
 from malice, or a foolish habit of repeating every 
 thing that is said. Some persons are always in- 
 volved in troubles of this kind. The best way to 
 avoid them is, to make it a rule of conduct never 
 to say any thing against another except for the 
 purpose of guarding those who are likely to be 
 injured by a corrupt or dishonest person. When- 
 ever an utterance of what you know to be the 
 truth, will do this, your duty is a plain one ; you 
 must tell the truth, and be willing to take the 
 consequences. 
 
 If a misunderstanding occur between you and 
 
CONDUCT AMONG MEN. 
 
 157 
 
 another, seek an explanation immediately. Do 
 not stop to listen to the plausible suggestions of 
 pride, but go at once to the party, and have a 
 clear understanding of the point of difference. 
 In nine cases in ten, you will find that no real 
 cause for the difficulty exists. Either he or you 
 has misconceived the other’s words or actions; 
 or something either you or he has said has been 
 repeated with offensive additions. This is al- 
 ways a trouble worth taking. Even if it do not 
 result in settling the difficulty, it enables you to 
 understand exactly the cause of the unhappy 
 estrangement ; and this is some little satisfaction. 
 
 More serious consequences than a simple 
 closing of friendly intercourse need occur, ex- 
 cept in very extreme cases. But, sometimes, 
 it will happen that you are obliged to do more 
 than merely give up the acquaintance of an 
 individual ; justice to others may require the 
 exposure of something said or done by an un- 
 principled individual, by which he becomes your 
 enemy. Such a person will, as a general thing, 
 seek to injure you in all possible ways by false 
 representations. The best antidote to all he 
 may say, is a blameless life. This will be your 
 best justification in the community. The charac- 
 ter of every man makes a certain impression, and 
 if any thing not in accordance with this impres- 
 
158 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 sion be said against him, it is never fully belie ved. 
 Still, any one will suffer more or less in the good 
 opinion of society, if an evil-minded person in- 
 dustriously circulate false accusations against 
 him ; and proper means should be used to si- 
 lence him, if his charges amount to dishonesty 
 or immoral conduct. This may sometimes be 
 done by demanding an interview in the presence 
 of mutual friends, and then requiring proof of his 
 allegations, or a denial of them. A common tra- 
 ducer is generally exceedingly tender of his own 
 reputation ; while he calls into activity a very 
 whirlwind 'of evil accusations against others, the 
 first breath of censure that falls upon his own 
 fair fame disturbs him to the very centre. Once 
 convict such a person, before witnesses, of hav- 
 ing made false accusations against you, and you 
 not only strip him of power to do you much 
 injury in the future, but make him exceedingly 
 cautious about what he says of one who has the 
 nerve and decision to call him to an account for 
 what his malignant spirit may cause him to say. 
 
 Pride and a hasty temper occasion disagree- 
 ments of the most serious character, and often 
 bring into open hostility those who have once 
 been the warmest friends. No immorality of 
 conduct, no departure from integrity, no wrong 
 lies at the foundation of the unhappy disagree- 
 
CONDUCT AMONG MEN. 
 
 159 
 
 ment. An insult has been given ; but whether 
 intentional or unintentional, it is often hard to 
 make out; and the party .really insulted, or only 
 imagining himself to be so, has flung back the 
 outrage into the other’s face with maddening vio- 
 lence. This occurs on the instant, between per- 
 fect strangers as well as between intimate friends; 
 and too often the final result is an appeal to dead- 
 ly weapons. Instead of the parties themselves 
 meeting for the purpose of ascertaining pre- 
 cisely the feelings and intentions of each other, 
 and learning whether an insult were really in- 
 tended, the insult is taken for granted, and mu- 
 tual friends are called in to obtain formal and 
 specific retractions of things said and done, or 
 to arrange the sad and disgraceful preliminaries 
 of a duel. These friends hold, as they imagine, 
 the honor of their respective principals in pledge, 
 and each requires of the antagonist party greater 
 concessions and acknowledgments than he can 
 feel it possible for him to make under such cir- 
 cumstances ; and thus the breach is made wider 
 instead of being healed, as it would be, in nine 
 cases in ten, if one or the other of the parties 
 themselves had sought for and obtained a per- 
 sonal interview. 
 
 We remember seeing two persons, perfect 
 strangers to each other, come into collision from 
 
160 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 a supposed insult, where it was clear none was 
 intended. It occurred, strangely enough, at a 
 lecture given to young men on their right con- 
 duct in life. The room was so much crowded 
 that all could not find seats, and near the door quite 
 a number were standing. They were arranged 
 against and near the wall, leaving a space of some 
 yards between them and the first row of seats 
 A young man, who had been sitting for about one 
 half of the time occupied by the lecture, gener- 
 ously arose, and, stepping across the vacant space 
 to where another young man was standing, of- 
 fered him his seat. In doing this, the eyes of 
 a number were necessarily upon him. Instead 
 of promptly accepting the offer when so much 
 trouble had been taken, the individual standing 
 declined doing so, and did it in a manner that 
 was felt to be particularly offensive, although no 
 offence could have been meant. Be that as it 
 may, the young man retired to his seat in anger 
 and mortification, and, instead of resting satis- 
 fied in reflecting that what he had done was a 
 generous offer of self-denial for the sake of an- 
 other, and that no gentleman could wantonly in- 
 sult one who thus acted towards him, he brooded 
 over what had occurred during the whole time 
 the lecture continued, and finally brought himself 
 to the conclusion that he had been grossly in 
 
CONDUCT AMONG MEN. 
 
 161 
 
 suited in public, and that nothing remained for 
 him to do, but to demand satisfaction. Accord- 
 ingly, the moment the lecture closed, he stepped 
 hastily up to the young man, and, with intem- 
 perate warmth, in the midst of a crowd of both 
 ladies and gentlemen, abruptly and insultingly 
 demanded an explanation of his conduct. Sur- 
 prised, yet indignant, at being thus rudely, and, 
 as he felt, causelessly assailed, the other replied 
 in about the same spirit as that in which he had 
 been addressed. Blows were about to be ex- 
 changed, when others interfered. Cards were 
 then passed, and the belligerents parted in mutual 
 anger. As the parties were strangers to us, we 
 saw no more of them, and presume that no ex- 
 change of shots took place in consequence, as 
 the newspapers at the time did not chronicle any 
 such event. 
 
 In this, we see a fair specimen of the origin, or 
 what might be appropriately called the causeless 
 cause, of duels. It is no more than probable that 
 the mind of the young man, who was standing dur- 
 ing the lecture, had become so much interested 
 in the discourse as not to be clearly conscious of 
 what he did when his attention was disturbed by 
 the kind offer of the other to give him up his 
 seat ; and it is not at all improbable that he saw, 
 a moment after it was too late, that he had acted 
 11 
 
162 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 with little less than rudeness to a stranger, and 
 meditated an apology as soon as the lecture 
 closed. But all these better impulses were de- 
 stroyed by a sudden and rude assault, for which 
 there was no kind of justification. 
 
 It usually happens that the person who imagines 
 himself insulted, makes a reconciliation difficult, 
 if not almost impossible, by offering in return a 
 real insult, and then insisting upon acknowledg- 
 ments and retractions from the other, while he 
 never dreams of making an apology for his own 
 conduct. 
 
 It almost always happens, in matters of this 
 kind, that both parties are to some extent to 
 blame, and all difficulty may at once be arrested, 
 if either party will reflect carefully upon his own 
 conduct, and determine to make an acknowledg- 
 ment of the thing in which he has wronged the 
 other. This should be done as a matter of 
 simple justice, spite of all the inflammatory sug- 
 gestions of false pride. Because another has 
 wronged you, or insulted you, does that justify 
 your wrongs or insults ? You imperiously de- 
 mand of another an apology for what he has done 
 or said, and yet are not willing to offer an apology 
 for your own conduct. First do what you require 
 of him, and depend upon it, you will not find him 
 backward in confession of error, or a readiness 
 
CONDUCT AMONG MEN. 
 
 168 
 
 to throw over the unhappy past the mantle of 
 oblivion. To do this is not disgraceful, but hon- 
 orable and magnanimous. It is a triumph of 
 reason over passion, of right over false pride and 
 a morbid self-esteem. 
 
 If it should happen that a misunderstanding 
 takes place with a young friend and another, and 
 he call upon you to confer with the friend of the 
 offending or offended party for the settlement of 
 the difficulty, do not hesitate about accepting the 
 office of mediator, but, in doing so, let it be with 
 the determination to heal, not widen the breach. 
 Your first duty will be to hear from your friend 
 a full statement of all the facts in the case, and 
 then get from the friend of the other party all 
 that he has to allege against the person you 
 represent. Honestly, conscientiously, and impar- 
 tially weigh all the circumstances, without any 
 personal bias whatever ; and if you are satisfied 
 that your friend has done wrong, tell him so, and 
 insist upon his acknowledging that wrong as a 
 most imperative duty. This he may do without 
 dishonor : to refuse to do so would be dishonor- 
 able in the highest degree, for it would be a 
 refusal to repair a wrong, which, if not done, 
 may lead on to the most direful consequences. 
 The other party may have done wrong, and be 
 just as conscious of it ; but pride may keep back 
 
J64 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 its confession. The acknowledgment of your 
 friend will be almost sure, if made in the right 
 spirit, to bring back a fuller and more hearty 
 acknowledgment of wrong from the opposite 
 party, and then the work of reconciliation will be 
 easy. Truly magnanimous conduct is that which 
 involves self-sacrifice of some kind for the good 
 of others. Nothing is so hard to sacrifice as 
 false pride ; yet the conquest is always a noble 
 one, for it is made for the good of others. As a 
 third party to any unhappy difference, be most 
 careful to avoid any thing calculated to inflame 
 the pride of your friend ; lead him rather to re- 
 flect more upon what he has himself said and 
 done, than upon the w’rongs that he has suffered 
 from the other. This will give reason a chance to 
 act, and help him to see what it is his duty to do, 
 as well as his pleasure to require of another. 
 The great barrier that interposes itself in serious 
 difficulties of this kind, is the disposition man- 
 ifested by the belligerent parties to exact conces- 
 sions, but to make none; and in this they are too 
 often encouraged by the friends who have h.\3U 
 chosen to represent them. 
 
 A resort to deadly weapons, for t ne purpose of 
 settling a difficulty, is in no case justifiable , the 
 custom being founded upon false pride and a 
 false idea of honor. As the principal in a diffi 
 
CONDUCT AMCNG MEN. 
 
 165 
 
 culty, your duty is to seek by all right means to 
 satisfy the individual to whom you have given 
 offence, that it was not your intention to insult 
 him, or that you had been led away by passion to 
 say or do something that in your cooler moments 
 you would not have said or done ; the supposi- 
 tion is, that you , under no provocation, would 
 seek redress by a resort to duelling. If this will 
 not satisfy, and there is a clear determination 
 evinced to force you into a deadly conflict, make 
 a firm resolution to refuse to accept a chal- 
 lenge, and abide by that resolution. You have 
 no more right to take the life of another than to 
 give up your own. 
 
 Most men who fight duels are urged on to do 
 so as much by the fear of being branded with 
 cowardice as from inflamed passions. But the 
 truth is, it is cowardice, and not courage, that 
 makes them fight. They are afraid of the unjust 
 censure of the world ; they are afraid to do right, 
 lest it be called wrong. The truly brave man is 
 ever ready to suffer martyrdom for the sake of 
 trrith, whether he be burned at the stake, or im- 
 molated at the shrine of a hasty and false-judg- 
 ing public. 
 
 If you have been acting for your friend, in the 
 hope of reconciling a difficulty, and all your 
 efforts prove unavailing to prevent a murderous 
 
160 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 encounter, refuse to stand as a second. If your 
 friend will not do what is right and honorable in 
 endeavoring to reconcile the difficulty, he forfeits 
 all claim upon you to go with him any farther m 
 the matter ; and if all his honorable overtures 
 and acknowledgments are repulsed, he should 
 have courage enough to refuse to accept a chal- 
 lenge to fight. If he have not, let him find some 
 one less careful about principles than you are. 
 
 A to duelling itself, or a resort to deadly 
 weapons for the purpose of settling a difficulty, a 
 moment’s cool reflection must satisfy any one that 
 it is a most absurd practice, to say nothing of the 
 fatal wrong that it too often inflicts upon society. 
 There is nothing in it that tends to ennoble the 
 human mind, but rather to debase it. In nothing 
 that appertains to the duel is there any thing of 
 generous regard to another’s good — of noble 
 self-sacrifice — of manly effort to raise the com- 
 mon standard of virtue ; but, instead, there is a 
 narrow and blinding regard for self, and a 
 trampling under foot of the noble and manly 
 spirit of forgiveness. Self, and only self, rules. 
 And what is gained by the combat? One of the 
 parties may be killed; but does that make the 
 other a better man ? It may gratify his malig- 
 nant spirit of revenge, it is true ; but that makes 
 him more the child of hell than of heaven ; and 
 
CONDUCT AMONG MEN. 
 
 167 
 
 man’s true destiny is heaven, and his right employ- 
 ment here a preparation for this high estate. 
 
 Society has claims upon every man which he 
 is bound to meet. His life is not, therefore, his 
 own to fling away at pleasure. To do so, is to 
 act unjustly ; and will this make a man any more 
 honorable ? 
 
 From such considerations, it is clear that a 
 man may not only refuse a challenge to mortal 
 combat without disgrace, but it is also clear that 
 to accept such ;i challenge is both dishonorable 
 and disgraceful ; for it involves a wrong to society, 
 and encourages a practice that is cruel, and there- 
 fore of hellish origin. 
 
 We have dwelt upon the reprehensible practice 
 of duelling, because it is an evil that still exists 
 in society, and because every high-spirited, quick 
 tempered young man is liable to get himself into 
 difficulties with other young men of like temper- 
 ament. A quick temper is an hereditary failing, 
 and this may excuse a hasty ebullition of passion, 
 even to the extent of insulting a friend ; but 
 reason is given to all as a guide in life, and this 
 teaches that there is only one thing to do in such 
 a case ; and that is, to repair the wrong done, no 
 matter at how great a sacrifice of feeling and 
 pride. This is every man’s p.ain duty. If 
 another offer you an insult, and refuse to with- 
 
168 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 draw it, shooting him is certainly a singula? 
 inode of redress. The feeling that could prompt 
 you to do so, could be nothing less than revenge. 
 
 Some one has very forcibly said, in referring 
 to matters of this kind, “ A gentleman will not in 
 suit me ; none other can.” This is sensible doc- 
 trine; and if men had sufficient firmness to act 
 upon it in all cases, there would be no duels. 
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 COURAGE. 
 
 There are two kinds of courage, the one 
 mere physical or brute courage, as it is some- 
 times called, and the other moral courage. 
 Again, bravery in some is the result of an almost 
 entire unconsciousness of danger, no matter how 
 impending it may be; while in others it is the 
 result of a strong moral purpose overcoming a 
 natural timidity and fear of consequences. We 
 find men who say that they have never known 
 fear, and men whose coward hearts shrink a 4 
 the very thought of danger, acting with equa, 5 
 bravery under certain circumstances. The 3ne 
 
COURAGE. 
 
 169 
 
 meets the encounter with scarcely a thought of 
 consequences, while it requires aJl the efforts of 
 the other to overcome his natural dread of suf- 
 fering and death. The latter is, without doubt, 
 entitled to most credit for bravery ; for he meets 
 the danger with a far more real knowledge of 
 its character than the other. 
 
 The most exalted courage is, therefore, the 
 result of a high moral purpose, and this is the 
 courage that every man should have : its founda- 
 tion lies in a determination to do right , at any 
 sacrifice, even of life itself, if that be required, 
 as in the defence of one’s country when it is 
 invaded. It will often require as much courage 
 to act right under certain circumstances as to 
 march up to a cannon ; and the man who will 
 compel himself to face the world’s opinions and 
 prejudices in doing what he believes to be right, 
 will not shrink from his duty even if called 
 upon to fight for his country. 
 
 Every young man should feel cowardice to 
 be a disgrace, and bravery a virtue that he is 
 bound to practise. True bravery has no occa- 
 sion to vaunt itself, for it does not seek, like 
 the knights of old, for adventures. It is a sleep- 
 ing power in the mind, that only rouses itself 
 on occasion of more than ordinary moment , 
 and then it acts calmly, but with firmness and 
 decision. 
 
170 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 A man who properly reflects is rarely a cow. 
 ard. Some are more inclined to shrink from 
 bodily pain than others, and some are nervously 
 sensitive in regard to the opinions of the world ; 
 but reflection from right grounds will correct 
 both of these defects, and enable a man to act 
 with bravery under all circumstances. 
 
 It is a thing of rare occurrence that a man 
 loses his life at a time when he has put it in 
 jeopardy in order to save the life of another; 
 and yet we hear, almost every day, of persons 
 being saved from almost certain death by the 
 generous self-devotion of others. Of course, acts 
 of this kind should not be done with a mere 
 recklessness that has in it no hope of success. 
 It would be madness, not true bravery, for a 
 man who could not swim to throw himself into 
 the sea in order to save a person who was drown- 
 ing, or to jump into a well filled with noxious 
 gas in the hope of lifting therefrom one who 
 was on the point of perishing from its poison- 
 ous influence. A truly brave man looks at the 
 means as well as the end, and will not risk his 
 life unless there be a fair chance that in doing 
 so he will be able to save the life of another. 
 Around all who thus forget themselves in ordei 
 to save others from injury or death there is a 
 protecting sphere from above; and this is the 
 
COURAGE. 
 
 171 
 
 reason why so few, who take most imminent 
 risks in order to save others from destruction, 
 are themselves injured. Here, we believe, lies 
 the truth in this matter. A brave man is one 
 who looks away from himself, and seeks the 
 good of others. This is to act from heavenly 
 principles, and must bring around him who so 
 acts a spiiere of protection from Heaven. 
 
 Every man should, from principle, resist op- 
 pression, and oppose an unyielding front to all 
 attempts at invading his rights. He should do 
 this as well for his own protection, and that of 
 those who are dependent upon him, as in order 
 to weaken the confidence of evil-minded men, 
 who seek to oppress every one, thus making 
 them more cautious how tb put into practice 
 their evil purposes. One unflinching adherent 
 to right principles in the community saves num 
 bers from becoming the victims of wrong. 
 
 Without courage a man is a curse to him- 
 self, and often a curse to others who may hap- 
 pen to depend upon him. He is a victim to 
 causeless fears ; is ever dreading some evil that 
 he has not the bravery to meet with a bold 
 front, and strive vigorously to conquer. He sees 
 some evil thing stea thily approaching his un- 
 conscious neighbor, but, fearful lest he may suffer 
 
172 
 
 ADVICE TO YOLNG MEN 
 
 consequences himself, fails to give the alarm, 
 and thus, with a base cowardice, permits an in- 
 jury to take place that he might have turned 
 aside. It is no wonder that a coward receives 
 the brand of infamy. 
 
 In the present state of the world, the courage 
 to act right in common society is the virtue 
 most needed, and this every young man should 
 have. He should never flinch from speaking 
 .he truth where its utterance will counteract 
 evil designs, or advance the knowledge and 
 practice of good principles. He is bound to 
 do this by every consideration that regards the 
 well-being of society. As to what this one or 
 he other may say, he has nothing to do with 
 that. He should have the courage to disregard 
 all such appeals to his self-love, or to the feel- 
 ing of deference to the good opinions of weak- 
 minded or bad men. The cardinal virtue in 
 society is a determination to do right because 
 it is right, regardless of consequences. This 
 is true courage. 
 
 There is a kind of courage, which takes on a dif 
 ferent and less imposing form than usually meets 
 the eye, but which is oftener needed by young 
 men than the bolder spirit of opposition to wrong, 
 which all regard as a virtue essential to perfect- 
 ness of character. This is the courage to do ex- 
 
COURAGE. 
 
 173 
 
 actly right, in small matters; or, what is equally 
 important and harder to achieve, the courage to 
 acknowledge an error, and meet its consequences, 
 rather than, after getting into a wrong position, 
 continue in a wrong course, which can only lead 
 farther and farther away from right. To make 
 this clear, let us relate an occurrence in the history 
 of a young man, who came near suffering a dis- 
 graceful exposure that would have stained his 
 character in the eyes of the world. We will call 
 him John T . 
 
 He was honest, kind-hearted, social, and intelli- 
 gent. These qualities gave him a good reputation, 
 and made him a favorite with every one. So 
 highly did the gentleman in whose employment 
 he had been for some years, esteem him, that he 
 trusted him with his cash account, in the fullest 
 confidence that every dollar which came into the 
 young man’s possession would be as safe as if in 
 his own hands. 
 
 Now it happened that among the acquaintances 
 of T , was a man of the class known as un- 
 
 thrifty. That is, he was a man who always con- 
 trived to spend more money than he earned. 
 
 T ’s friendship for this person was of some 
 
 years’ duration, and, notwithstanding the differ- 
 ence in their characters, and we might say princi- 
 ples, there existed a warm mutual attachment. 
 
74 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 One day, this man, whom we will designate as 
 
 Mr. H , called upon his friend and said, 
 
 “ John, I want a hundred dollars until day 
 after to-morrow ; and you must get it for me.” 
 
 T shook his head and replied, 
 
 “ Unfortunately, I am not the possessor of ten 
 dollars. If I had the money, it should be at your 
 service.” 
 
 “ You must get it for me, T ,” said 
 
 H , in a tone that was almost imperative. t( I 
 
 owe the amount, and promised, positively, to re- 
 turn it to-day. If I don’t do it, I shall be hurt 
 in a quarter where I particularly desire to stand 
 well.” 
 
 “ I am sorry,” replied John T . 
 
 u Sorry is not the thing, my friend. I want 
 the money. If it was two days later, I could get 
 it from Linton. He says he will have it for me 
 on Thursday. But to-day I must keep my word, 
 or I don’t know what consequences may follow. 
 
 H spoke in a troubled way, and looked 
 
 really anxious. 
 
 u Did Linton say he would let you have a hun« 
 dred dollars on Thursday ?” 
 
 “ He did.” 
 
 “ Positivsly ?” 
 
 “ Yes.” 
 
 u And you think you may depend on him 
 
COURAGE. 
 
 175 
 
 u 0 yes. His word’s as good as his bond . If 
 he says a thing, you may rely upon it.” 
 
 “ I might borrow the amount for you until 
 
 Thursday,” said T , with some hesitation of 
 
 manner. 
 
 “ It shall be returned to you on that day posi- 
 tively. Get it for me, and you will lay me under 
 a perpetual obligation.” 
 
 “ Call here in an hour, and I will see what 
 can be done,” said T . 
 
 H went away, promising to call in an 
 
 hour. 
 
 The basis of the young man’s suggestion, that 
 he might borrow the sum for a couple of days, 
 was a thought of the funds in his hands, amount- 
 ing to nearly three hundred dollars. He might 
 take one hundred dollars from this fund, and re- 
 place the amount on receiving it back from his 
 friend, and no one be hurt by the transaction. 
 
 After H left, this thought was looked at a 
 
 little more narrowly. 11 I’ve no right to use a 
 dollar of that money,” he said to himself. u It is 
 placed in my hands for safe keeping, not to lend. 
 No — no. I cannot do this. But where else can 
 I borrow the amount?” 
 
 Now T was a prudent young man in his 
 
 expenditures, always keeping them down to his 
 income at least, and generally something below it. 
 
176 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN, 
 
 So he never had occasion for borrowing, and had, 
 in consequence, no borrowing facilities. To whom 
 should he now go, and ask for the loan of a hun- 
 dred dollars to be returned in two days? He 
 would be ashamed to look any one in the face and 
 make that request. He was not in business, 
 that he needed a sum like that to-day, which 
 might be returned from business receipts on the 
 next. 
 
 So, borrowing was out of the question, and 
 thought came, in a troubled state, back to the 
 funds in his hands. He felt bewildered and anx- 
 ious. Time was passing. The minutes glided 
 along with swiftly tripping feet. The hour would 
 soon be gone. It occurred to him to ask his em- 
 ployer to let him have a hundred dollars for a few 
 days. But, what urgent use had he for a hundred 
 dollars ? How could he explain, satisfactorily, this 
 sudden want to his employer, who was a man apt 
 to look to the bottom of things that came under 
 his observation ? No — he could not ask for a loan, 
 when, if questioned, he must say that he wished 
 to lend the money to an acquaintance. 
 
 The hour expired, and H came in punc- 
 
 tually. 
 
 “ Have you the money for me ?” he asked, in 
 an expectant manner. 
 
 T— — shook his head. 
 
COURAGE. 
 
 177 
 
 A shadow of disappointment went over the 
 face of H , who made a half despairing ges- 
 
 ture. 
 
 u I fully depended on you,” he said. 
 
 “ There is no one from whom I can borrow,” 
 said T . 
 
 u Can’t you get the amount for me here ? Won’t 
 Mr. Harwood let you have it ?” 
 
 “ I wouldn’t make such a request of him for 
 the world. He is a man of very peculiar and 
 strict ideas.” 
 
 H commenced moving about in an exceed- 
 
 ingly troubled manner. “ It will be a dreadful 
 thing for me if I don’t get this money. I can’t 
 tell what the consequence may be. And I only 
 want it for a couple of days.” 
 
 Now, John T had not the courage to bear 
 
 this exhibition of pain in his friend, nor the firm- 
 ness to resist the tempter who was urging him to 
 use the money in his hands which belonged to an- 
 other. So he yielded. 
 
 “ I might,” he said, in a hesitating manner., 
 u let you have the amount wanted out of funds 
 belonging to my employer. It will scarcely be 
 required in the business for a couple of days.” • 
 
 H caught at this eagerly. 
 
 “ That will do ! That’s just the thing !” he 
 12 
 
178 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 replied. u Let me have a hundred, and you may 
 depend on getting it back day after to-morrow.” 
 But T hesitated. 
 
 u Fm afraid,” he said, u if Mr. Harwood were 
 to find it out, it would cost me his confidence — 
 perhaps my situation.” 
 
 “ Does he examine the cash every day ?” 
 
 “ No.” 
 
 “ How often ? Once a week ?” 
 
 “ Usually.” 
 
 u Then there’s no danger. I only want the 
 money until day after to-morrow. You must let 
 me have it, my friend. Do me this service, and 
 you will lay me under the greatest obligation.” 
 
 Poor T , thus pressed, had not the courage 
 
 to say no. In an evil moment, he withdrew a 
 hundred dollars from the cash entrusted tohis care, 
 and loaned it to his friend, who took the money, 
 and hurried away, without so much as leaving his 
 obligation for the amount. 
 
 Half an hour afterwards, Mr. Harwood, the 
 
 employer of T , came in. The very sound 
 
 of his footsteps, as he entered, made the heart of 
 
 T beat quicker ) and when he looked into his 
 
 face, he was ponscious of a certain confusion of 
 manner, that he feared would attract observation. 
 He had never felt so strangely in the presence of 
 any man in his life. 
 
COURAGE. 
 
 179 
 
 11 John,” said Mr. Harwood, soon after coming 
 in, “ how mach money have you in the cash 
 box ?” 
 
 “ I will see,” replied the young man, turning away 
 quickly, so that his suddenly flushing face might 
 not be observed, and walking slowly to the fire- 
 proof. He moved slowly, in order to get time 
 for thought. What should he say ? Acknow- 
 ledge that he had used a hundred dollars, and for 
 what purpose ? No — he had not the courage to 
 do that only right thing under the circumstances. 
 He had not courage enough to speak the exact 
 truth, and meet the consequences. So he brought 
 out the cash box, and after counting over the 
 money, answered his employer’s question. 
 
 “ We have a hundred and sixty-three dollars 
 out of bank, sir.” 
 
 u Is that all ?” said Mr. Harwood, speaking as 
 if in some doubt. “ I thought you had about 
 three hundred dollars.” 
 
 “ Let me count it again,” said T . Ah! 
 
 here was subterfuge ! Alas ! alas ! How quickly 
 does one wrong act produce consequences that 
 tempt to the commission of other wrong acts ! 
 And, with hands from which he with difficulty 
 kept back a visible tremor, he counted the money 
 over again. 
 
180 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 “ Just one hundred and sixty-three dollars/' he 
 repeated. 
 
 “ I was mistaken/' remarked the employer. 
 “ But no matter. I promised to let Mr. Todd have 
 two hundred, thinking that we had more than that 
 sum out of bank. I will draw a check for a hun- 
 dred, and when he comes in, you can give him 
 that and a hundred in money." 
 
 Something real or apparent, in the tone of Mr. 
 Harwood's voice, troubled the clerk. What would 
 he not have given to recall that act ! 
 
 No further remark was made by Mr. Harwood. 
 Two days passed, and still the cash remained short 
 
 one hundred dollars. H had failed to keep 
 
 his promise. T spent the day on which the 
 
 money was to be returned, in a state of anxious 
 expectancy, and in the evening called upon his 
 friend. 
 
 “ My dear fellow !" exclaimed H , on seeing 
 
 him. u I am really ashamed to look you in the 
 face. Linton disappointed me shamefully. He 
 promised me in the most positive manner that I 
 should have a hundred dollars to-day. But when 
 I called on him, he said he had entirely forgotten 
 it, and used every dollar in another direction." 
 
 “ Will he let you have it to-morrow ?" asked 
 T , in a husky voice. 
 
COURAGE. 
 
 181 
 
 “ He wouldn’t promise me. But I’m in hopes 
 of getting it out of him,” was answered. 
 
 “ But suppose he fails you ! What then ?” 
 
 “ I must get it somewhere else,” replied 
 
 H . 
 
 T sighed heavily, and looked troubled and 
 
 anxious. 
 
 “ Just see,” he said, “ the position in which I 
 am placed. If Mr. Harwood should discover the 
 existing cash deficiency, I would be ruined in his 
 estimation.” 
 
 u Oh, he’ll not discover it !” replied H , 
 
 lightly. 11 You’re nervous.” 
 
 “ I am nervous, and with reason,” said T . 
 
 u Mr. Harwood is a man of peculiar ideas. He 
 would never forgive a breach of confidence like 
 this, if he were to find it out; and I think sus- 
 picion has been excited.” 
 
 “ Why do you say that ?” 
 
 11 In calling for the amount of cash on hand, 
 with a view to lending a neighbor two hundred 
 dollars, he was evidently disappointed, as well as 
 puzzled, to find the sum smaller by over a hun- 
 dred dollars than he supposed. If he should look 
 at the balance called for by the cash book and con- 
 firm his suspicion, just see where I would stand. 
 H , you must return me this money on to- 
 
 morrow, and that without fail.” 
 
182 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 H promised fairly, but did not perform. 
 
 The fact is, spendthrift habits produced money- 
 needs beyond his income, and the temptation to 
 re-venture at the gaming table had lured him from 
 the path of virtue. It was to pay losses, that he 
 had iniquitously borrowed from his too compliant 
 friend. 
 
 On the next day, a customer paid in the sum 
 
 of one hundred dollars. As T held his pen 
 
 in hand, about to make an entry of this sum 
 in the cash book, an evil counselor suggested the 
 omission of the entry for the present; or, until 
 
 H returned the missing hundred. If Mr. 
 
 Harwood should notice and speak of this omission, 
 he could treat it lightly as an error. The fine edge 
 of his moral sense was already touched. A little 
 while he debated the safety — not the right or 
 wrong — of this course. He could not see all 
 clear ; but he withheld his pen from making the 
 entry, at least for the present, and shut up the 
 cash book. There followed a sense of relief, as 
 the peril of his situation seemed lessened by this 
 act ; but a new uneasiness succeeded the product 
 of wrong in another direction. That failure to 
 make an entry of cash received, in order that, in 
 case of examination, a balance, in agreement with 
 the actual amount of cash on hand, might appear, 
 
COURAGE. 
 
 183 
 
 troubled him even while his thoughts were busy 
 about other things. 
 
 Days went by, and still the friend withholding 
 
 the money which he had borrowed of T , the 
 
 cash book continued to show a false balance, but 
 one in accordance with the amount of money on 
 hand. Mr. Harwood made his usual weekly ex- 
 amination of the cash account, and passed it as 
 correct. How the heart of his unhappy clerk 
 trembled as Mr. Harwood’s eyes ran along the 
 debit and credit entries, pausing, now and then, 
 as if trying to recall some receipt or expenditure 
 which did not appear. The examination was 
 longer than usual, but closed at last, when the 
 heart of T beat more freely. 
 
 A day or two afterwards, H , who had not 
 
 yet returned the money, called to see his friend. 
 
 The face of T brightened, as the young man 
 
 came in. He thought of the hundred dollars, and 
 believed that he was about to receive it. Not so, 
 however. H had come again as the tempter. 
 
 “ My dear T ,” he said, as he stood holding 
 
 the hand of his too compliant friend, “I am mor- 
 tified to death about those hundred dollars. I 
 can’t tell you what I have suffered on account of 
 my failure to keep faith. Linton deceived me 
 shamefully. I thought him a man of his word; 
 but now I see that he is a mere trifler.” 
 
184 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 l{ It places me in a bad position,” replied 
 T . “ In a very bad position.” 
 
 “I know it does, and that is what grieves me. 
 I wouldn’t have had a thing like this happen for 
 the world.” 
 
 “ When do you think you can return it ?” asked 
 T . 
 
 “Well, that’s just what I came in to ta^k with 
 you about. If I can get fifty dollars to-day, I cam 
 certainly return you the hundred to-morrow, and 
 the fifty on the day afterwards.” 
 
 T was silent. 
 
 u You can get it for me,” said H . 
 
 T was still silent, standing with his eyes 
 
 upon the floor. He had heard it suggested, within 
 
 a day or two, that H gambled. He now felt 
 
 sure of it. How was fifty to produce a hundred 
 and fifty in the short period of two days, except 
 in some perilous venture like that at the gaming 
 
 table? We regret to say, that T was not 
 
 shocked, as he ought to have been, as he thought 
 over the probabilities in regard to this suggestion. 
 The position in which he had placed himself, and 
 the wrong acts already done, had, as before inti- 
 mated, touched his moral sense. The question 
 now debated was, as to the chances in favor 
 
 of success on the part ct' H if he should lend 
 
 him fifty dollars more. 
 
COURAGE 
 
 185 
 
 (i Linton’s failure to keep faith has put me in 
 a most unfortunate position towards you,” said 
 
 H , in an insinuating way. “ I would not have 
 
 touched the money if I had dreamed, even re- 
 motely, that he would break his word.” 
 
 “ How are you to get a hundred and fifty dol- 
 lars out of fifty ?” asked T . 
 
 “ I do not care to explain, now, the operation I 
 all make. But I have the way clear enough. 
 Get me fifty dollars, and we will all be out of this 
 unpleasant difficulty in the course of at least two 
 days.” 
 
 “ You said that you could return me the one 
 hundred to-morrow.” 
 
 11 1 can and will,” replied H . 
 
 It was plain, now, to the mind of T , that 
 
 his friend gambled in some way ; and the thought 
 occurred to him, that, seeing the confidence with 
 which he spoke, he might have some weak victim 
 in his toils from whom his superior skill would 
 surely abstract the money he promised so confi- 
 dently to replace. 
 
 Ten days previous to this such a thought would 
 
 have shocked the mind of T ; but peril, and 
 
 the beginning of wrong, combined to obscure his 
 moral perceptions. He was so anxious to get 
 back the sum which he had so weakly taken from 
 the funds entrusted to his care, that he did not 
 
186 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 pause to scrutinize the means by which his debtor 
 should place him all right again. 
 
 Still, the tempter was not permitted to bear him 
 down without a struggle. There were better 
 counselors near, and they gained an audience be- 
 fore blind action followed. From these came this 
 suggestion: That he should stop where he was; 
 and let the hundred dollars go rather than touch 
 another penny of Mr. Harwood's money. Gam- 
 bling, they said, was a crime; and that if his 
 friend were really a gambler, no faith could be 
 placed in his word; for a gambler was a robber, 
 and would plunder friend as well as stranger; 
 and, moreover, if he furnished him with the 
 means of doing evil, he was alike criminal. 
 
 “ But what can I do ?" answered T , in 
 
 his own thought. “ How can I replace this 
 money ?" 
 
 “ Have the courage to do right," counseled 
 the friends of his soul. “ Go to Mr. Harwood. 
 Tell him what you have done, and ask to have 
 the money charged to your account. Better 
 lose the sum ten times over, than go forward a 
 step in the way you are now tempted to walk 
 in." 
 
 But the thing that T lacked was the 
 
 courage to tell Mr. Harwood what he had done. 
 
 11 1 will try this way 'f escape first," he an- 
 
COURAGE. 
 
 187 
 
 swered, “and then, if it do not bring me out all 
 right, I will make a clean breast of it to Mr. Har- 
 wood. 
 
 All right? Poor bewildered young man ! 
 There is no coming out right if we take the wrong 
 road. 
 
 It is with pain that we have to write the truth. 
 
 T abstracted from his employer’s funds fifty 
 
 dollars more, and gave the sum to his false friend. 
 On the next day, fifty dollars, instead of the pro- 
 mised huodred were returned; but, on the day 
 succeeding, H , instead of producing the re- 
 
 maining hundred, succeeded in borrowing seventy 
 dollars more from the weakly compliant clerk. 
 
 The two young men had now become involved 
 
 together in wrong. If T broke with H , 
 
 the hundred and seventy dollars were lost beyond 
 the chances of recovery, and he could not endure 
 
 that thought. He was well satisfied that H 
 
 gambled ; but while he regarded the vice with 
 detestation, he was so anxious to get back the 
 funds taken from his employer, that he said, in 
 justification of his conduct, in lending further 
 sums, “ It is none of my business how he gets 
 the money.” But it was his business. In fur- 
 nishing the means to gamble, no matter under 
 what pretext, he became involved in the guilt of 
 his false friend. 
 
188 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 In order to keep the unhappy clerk in his toils, 
 
 H would return small sums, say twenty or 
 
 thirty dollars at a time. But he was sure to get at least 
 a hundred from him within two or three days. 
 And this dishonest and dangerous course of con- 
 duct went on for three or four months, until the 
 
 amount of T ’s depredations on his employer’s 
 
 funds, had reached the sum of six hundred dol- 
 lars ! Twenty times during this wretched period, 
 had T made up his mind to go to Mr. Har- 
 
 wood and lay the matter before him without dis- 
 guise. But his courage as often failed. He had 
 gone wrong in the beginning through lack of cou- 
 rage to say no, to a tempting friend ; and he kept 
 going further and further wrong through lack of 
 courage to stand still and face the evil conse- 
 quences that stood in threatening attitudes before 
 him. In order to cover his abstractions of money, 
 T had recourse to omissions and false en- 
 
 tries. 
 
 The experience of those few months, were the 
 bitterest of his whole life. Night and day he was 
 oppressed by a sense of impending danger. He 
 dreamed of disaster and ruin. The presence of 
 Mr. Harwood was always like that of a judge 
 about to pronounce some dreadful sentence, instead 
 of a kind friend and confiding employer. Un- 
 happy young man ! How were all the springs of 
 
COURAGE. 
 
 189 
 
 life dashed with bitterness ? For lack of courage 
 to do right, he was now involved in transactions 
 that threatened to destroy his good name, and ruin 
 all his worldly prospects. 
 
 11 John,” said Mr. Harwood one day, in a tone 
 that made his heart leap and tremble. Mr. Har- 
 wood was standing at the desk, with the cash book 
 open before him. 
 
 The young man came up to the desk, feeling 
 something like a prisoner about to receive sen- 
 tence. 
 
 “ Isn’t this a mistake, John ?” and Mr. Har- 
 wood looked his clerk in the face, while he pointed 
 to a figure which John knew too well should be 
 a three instead of a two; and being in the column 
 of hundreds, it made just one hundred dollars dif- 
 ference in the cash balance. 
 
 The clerk bent over the page, and affected to be 
 adding up the column of figures; but he was hur- 
 riedly debating the question of throwing himself 
 
 upon the mercy of Mr. H , and telling him, 
 
 without reserve, the whole story of his miserable 
 
 connection with H ; but his heart failed him. 
 
 He had not the courage to do right. 
 
 “ There is an error, certainly,” he replied, in a 
 voice of forced calmness. “ It should be three 
 instead of two.” 
 
190 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 t( Does your cash stand a hundred dollars 
 over?” asked Mr. Harwood. 
 
 Whether the answer were yes, or no, T 
 
 saw that his position would be equally perilous. 
 Ah ! if he had only possessed the courage to meet 
 this sad affair face to face long ago, and terminate all 
 by a confession to Mr. Harwood, how different would 
 it have been! Deeply did- he regret his weak- 
 ness. Now, merciful influences were driving him 
 into a place from which he could only hope for 
 extrication through a full unburdening of himself. 
 Shutting the cash book with a firm hand — despair 
 gave him nerve — he looked up into Mr. Harwood’s 
 countenance with a face so pale, that the other 
 ejaculated in surprise — 
 
 “ John ! John ! What ails you ?” 
 
 “ Mr. Harwood, I want to talk with you a lit- 
 tle.” John’s voice was husky. His lips played 
 uneasily, and there was an unnatural twitching 
 of the muscles all over his face. 
 
 “ Is anything wrong, John?” asked Mr. Har- 
 wood, firmly, but in a tone so kind and so encoura- 
 ging, that all reserve instantly fled. 
 
 “ Yes, sir ; very wrong,” replied the young 
 man, as the tears came into his eyes. u I am in 
 gore trouble, sir.” 
 
 “ On what account, John ? Sit down. There, 
 compose yourself. Consider me your best friend, 
 
COURAGE. 
 
 191 
 
 and speak as freely as if you were making confes- 
 sion to heaven.” 
 
 The poor clerk was so much overcome by this 
 kind appeal, that he covered his face and wept 
 bitterly for some time. Then he told, without 
 disguise or extenuation, the whole story of his 
 wrong deeds. 
 
 Mr. Harwood listened with grief and indigna- 
 tion to the unhappy recital. 
 
 “ My poor boy,” he said, with much feeling, 
 for he was attached to his clerk, “ has it come to 
 this ? John ! John ! How could you have been 
 so lacking in the courage to do right?” 
 
 “ I did not mean to wrong you, sir,” said the 
 young man earnestly. u And now, if you will let 
 me serve you until I can pay back the debt, I will 
 deny myself all but the barest necessaries of life, 
 until we are even. I do not expect you to confide 
 in me as you have done. The high trust you re- 
 posed, I have betrayed. Oh, sir ! if you knew 
 what I have suffered ! if you knew what I suffer 
 now !” 
 
 “ Wrong always brings suffering, John.” 
 
 11 1 know it, sir. I have proved that it is so, to 
 my deep sorrow,” answered the unhappy young man. 
 
 “ May the suffering be a salutary discipline,” 
 said Mr. Harwood. 
 
192 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 (< I will die rather than yield again under any 
 enticement,” replied John, in tears. 
 
 Mr. Harwood was a true man. He understood 
 clearly John's position, feelings', and character. 
 He felt for him deeply, but he could not pass so 
 serious a matter by lightly, nor trust his clerk as 
 fully as he had done before. He kept him, how- 
 ever, in his service, and kept, also, his secret. 
 If the young man had possessed the courage to 
 face the first consequences of his wrong act, had 
 come to him immediately on discovering that 
 
 H had deceived him, then he would have 
 
 shown an element of character on which great 
 reliance might be placed. It was the want of 
 courage to face unpleasant consequences, rather 
 than continue to walk in a wrong course, that left 
 on the mind of Mr. Harwood, a doubt in regard 
 to him. He felt that he might be tempted, and 
 fall ; not from evil inclination, but from want of 
 firmness and courage. x\nd so it took a long time 
 for the old confidence to be restored. But time 
 proved the lesson to have been effectual. The fear 
 and suffering of that brief period of wrong, had 
 penetrated so deeply, and left such vivid memories, 
 that he was in little danger of being lured again 
 from the path of rectitude. 
 
RELIGION. 
 
 193 
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 RELIGION. 
 
 There are three classes of men in the world 
 -the civil man, the moral man, and the spirit- 
 ual man. The civil man lives in mere external 
 obedience to civil laws, because his own well- 
 being is secured thereby ; the moral man not 
 only regards the civil law, but lives also in 
 obedience to moral laws ; while the spiritual 
 man obeys divine laws. The first obeys only 
 the civil law ; the second obeys the civil law 
 as well as the moral law, for both are in- 
 volved in the latter ; but the spiritual man obeys 
 both civil and moral as well as divine laws, 
 because the divine law includes all the rest 
 From this it is clearly seen that the spiritual, 
 or truly religious man, must be a moral as well 
 as a civil man ; that, in fact, he is the only 
 true man in society, or he who regards the 
 good of the whole from an internal and spirit- 
 ual ground, and not from any external and self- 
 ish considerations. 
 
 Although the very life and true vital energy 
 of society is religion vet it is a subject of dff 
 
 13 
 
194 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 ficult introduction in a work like this. Christ- 
 endom is divided into so many sects with variant 
 and opposing doctrines, — and doctrine is abso- 
 lutely necessary to religious belief, — that there 
 is great danger of giving offence where none is 
 intended, and injuring the usefulness of the 
 book by creating a prejudice against it. Still it 
 is felt to be of such vast importance, that we 
 would consider our work as greatly deficient if 
 we were to pass it by. 
 
 Whoever has read carefully the first three 
 chapters of this book, will clearly see the ne- 
 cessity of religion, or a means whereby man may 
 return to a state of heavenly order and conse- 
 quent happiness. Truth must be the basis of 
 religion, for that leads to good ; the false and 
 the evil are inseparable companions. The Bible 
 is the word of God, or divine truth, and there- 
 fore that must be the basis of religion. And yet 
 we have doctrines of the most opposite charac- 
 ters; and those who hold them all appeal to the 
 Bible, and profess to find proofs therein to sub- 
 stantiate them. Of course, all cannot be true, 
 for there is only one true system of religious doc- 
 trines, and all that is variant to that must be error 
 
 Let every young man who has arrived at ma- 
 ture age, when the whole responsibility of life 
 and its consequences begin to rest upon his 
 
RELIGION. 
 
 195 
 
 own shoulders, look at the subject of his reli- 
 gious views with an earnest desire to know the 
 truth for its own sake, and in this spirit canvass 
 them thoroughly. The means which God has 
 given him for the determination of truth when 
 presented to his mind, is his reason ; and this he 
 must exercise vigorously, holding, at the same 
 time, his mind in freedom Uk adopt whatever 
 he clearly sees to be rational as well as scrip- 
 tural. Because my father has believed a set of 
 religious doctrines, that cannot make them true 
 to me, unless I can understand them clearly. 
 While I was a child, and he was responsible for 
 my religious belief, he was bound to teach me 
 the doctrines he conscientiously believed to be 
 true. But when I became a man, and the re- 
 sponsibility was transferred to me, my first duty 
 was to canvass the whole matter fairly, and adopt 
 or reject according to the best light I could 
 obtain. And this course should be pursued by 
 every one, on the ground that nothing is truth 
 to the mind that it does not clearly understand. 
 To adopt a thing as true because others believe 
 it to be so, never advances a man a step, never 
 gives him the smallest ability to fight against 
 evil in his own heart. It is by truth alone that 
 a man combats with what is false and evil ; 
 and this must be truth to him, not to another 
 
196 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 From this every young man, who thinks seri- 
 ously on the subject of religion, will see the 
 obligation under which he lies to examine into 
 the very foundation of his religious belief. If it 
 be a true belief, it will bear any amount of scru- 
 tiny, and show its own brightness and excellence 
 the more thoroughly it is canvassed. If it be 
 not true, the quicker that discovery is made the 
 better. Is there any one who loves the truth foi 
 its own sake who can object to this? No, there 
 cannot be. 
 
 Some writers, who have given advice to young 
 men, when they came to treat of religion, have 
 ecommended them to attend church regularly, 
 and to assume devout appearances when there, 
 because, by so doing, they would be thought 
 moral and religious, and thus stand a much bet- 
 ter chance of being taken by the hand, and 
 pushed forward in the world. We have not 
 only seen such advice in books, but have heard 
 it repeatedly urged upon young men, by persons 
 calling themselves religious. 
 
 For a young man to do this, w^e should say, 
 would be for him to act hypocritically. Any 
 one who attends church, and assumes a religious 
 exterior from mere selfish and worldly ends, does 
 himself a greater injury than he supposes. Far 
 better w'ould it be for him to remain at home, 
 
RELIGION. 
 
 197 
 
 Too many young men both think lightly and 
 speak lightly of religion, as if it were something 
 not intended for sensible people But, as re° 
 ligion is the means by which a man is able to 
 overcome the corrupt and evil tendencies of his 
 nature, and rise into a life of heavenly order, we 
 think it a matter of sufficiently grave importance 
 to command the earnest attention of every one. 
 Mere canting and blind enthusiasm, of course, 
 are not religion, and those who ridicule and cen- 
 sure these should be very careful not, at the 
 same time, to make assertions or create impres- 
 sions injurious to true religion. 
 
 All true religion is founded upon a just idea 
 of God. A false notion of God results inevi- 
 tably from a false religion. The most important 
 thing in the outset is, therefore, the formation of 
 a just idea of the divine Being. The Bible tells 
 us that “ God is love.” Now, infinite and di- 
 vine love must seek to bless others out of itself ; 
 and from this we conclude that God is ever 
 seeking the good of his creatures, and that re- 
 ligion is nothing more than such a love to God 
 and man as leads us to obey the precepts of 
 the one and seek the good of the other. The 
 assumption, therefore, of exterior forms of sanc- 
 tity are nothing, if love to God and man be not 
 in the heart. Religion is a something that is 
 
198 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 eminently practical ; it goes with a man into all 
 his daily avocations, and regulates every transac- 
 tion of his life. If, in his business, he pursue 
 his own interest so eagerly as to hurt his neigh- 
 bor’s interests, he, of course, does violence to a 
 true religious principle. No matter what he 
 professes to believe or be; in that act. he has 
 offended against the doctrine that “ religion is 
 love to God and man,” and therefore done evil 
 before his Maker, whose very essence is Love. 
 
 The religion of far too many is a Sunday re- 
 ligion. It does very well for the Sabbath, when 
 there are no worldly interests to be looked after, 
 and when an exterior of sanctity is not in the 
 least in the way of a sharp bargain. But when 
 Monday comes, other matters are to be looked 
 after, which it would not do to associate with 
 religion, lest a thing so holy should suffer vio- 
 lence and be brought into disrepute. The reli- 
 gion of these persons consists in a faith in cer- 
 tain doctrines, by which they are to be saved, 
 and the bringing of religion down into the world, 
 by which it is in danger of suffering violence, 
 as they understand it, is to talk about these doc- 
 trines among men of the world, with whom they 
 are daily engaged in driving hard bargains. No 
 doubt the least said , the better, under these cir 
 cumstances ; and in keeping silence, therefore, 
 they are right 
 
RELIGION. 
 
 199 
 
 Bat what is really meant by bringing religion 
 into the world, is for men to take with them, in 
 their business and social intercourse, that regard 
 for the neighbor’s good which will prevent the 
 taking of any advantage of him whatever. Who- 
 ever attempts to do this will not find it, how- 
 ever, a very easy task. His self-love will be 
 ever prompting him to do as others do ; that is, 
 to sacrifice others’ good in striving to secure 
 his own ; but if he be truly endeavoring to act 
 from a religious principle, he will shun the evil 
 of overreaching his neighbor, because it is a sin 
 against God ; and in so doing he will receive 
 divine power to overcome it. 
 
 Here we have given a simple instance of 
 how religion is to be brought down into every- 
 day life. From this all may see how in every 
 act a man may make a principle of religion 
 the governing law. If all men pursued their 
 business upon a basis such as this, we would 
 see none of those fluctuations and disturbances, 
 throughout the whole commercial world, that row 
 maKe the success of an honest man so very 
 doubtful. There would be health in the entire 
 body, from the skin to the vital regions of the 
 heart and lungs. 
 
 If a true regard to religion will produce 
 health in so diseased a community as that en- 
 
200 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 gaged in trade, where nearly all, in the eager 
 pursuit of wealth, care not who loses if they gain, 
 it is every man’s duty to endeavor, as far as he 
 is concerned, to bring it down from the church 
 and the altar into real life. 
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 BAD HABITS. 
 
 Under this head we wish to say a word of 
 two on smoking, drinking, and swearing, three 
 very bad habits. 
 
 In regard to the first, — that is, smoking, — we 
 would earnestly recommend every young man 
 not already addicted to it to avoid contracting 
 a habit that must injure the health, and which 
 is exceedingly disagreeable to almost every one 
 Tobacco is a vile and offensive weed, and the ex 
 tensive use of it that now prevails, is one of the 
 most singular circumstances, connected with the 
 history of the past and present centuries, that 
 has occurred. We see men of intelligence and 
 refinement snuffing it up their noses, chewing it, 
 and smoking it, with an earnestness that would 
 
BAD HABITS. 
 
 201 
 
 be really amusing, were it not that a feeling of 
 disgust quiets the mind down into sobriety. 
 What the use of it is, no one can tell, while 
 nearly all agree that it seriously injures the 
 health. 
 
 Smoking, or the use of tobacco in any form, 
 is not a gentlemanly practice, for the simple rea- 
 son that it is a selfish habit, which is always 
 disagreeable to others, while true gentility is a 
 deference to the comfort, convenience, and fre- 
 quently to the prejudices, of others. To have 
 the room in which you are sitting filled with the 
 fumes of tobacco, or to have the smoke of a cigar 
 puffed in your face, is certainly very disagree- 
 able ; but it does not stop there : your clothes are 
 filled with the vile odor, your handkerchief is 
 rendered offensive and useless, and your lips are 
 covered with a bitter and irritating deposit. 
 
 The offence committed by the smoker is not 
 limited to these disagreeables. When he talks 
 to you, his breath nauseates you, and his clothes 
 fling around you a strong but stale odor of to- 
 bacco. If you visit him at his room, the atmos- 
 phere is rank and oppressive. If you lend him 
 a book, when you get it back you are almost 
 tempted to throw it into the fire, instead of re- 
 turning it to its place on the shelf. 
 
 How a young man can go into the company of 
 
202 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 ladies after smoking is more than we can com- 
 prehend. We hardly think he would if he knew 
 how offensive an odor he earned with him, and 
 how disagreeable to the nostrils of his fair fiiends 
 is his breath constantly blown into their faces. 
 We have heard bitter complaints from ladies in 
 regard to this thing. 
 
 Smoking is vulgar enough, but smoking in the 
 street is rarely practised, except by persons of 
 low habits. 
 
 As to the habit of drinking, little more is ne- 
 cessary than to condemn it as a very bad habit. 
 There has been so much said and written on the 
 subject within the last few years, that every one 
 must understand its merits by this time. The 
 fact that it does not conduce to health, and is an 
 exceedingly dangerous habit, would be sufficient 
 in themselves to condemn it, were not the sad 
 evidences of its direful consequences scattered so 
 thickly around us. 
 
 The practice of swearing is another habit 
 among young men, and certainly a very weak 
 and foolish one, to say nothing of its profanity. 
 The worst part of it is the frequent taking of the 
 Lord’s name in vain, which is expressly forbidden 
 by God himself. Does it not seem strange that 
 a man should speak lightly, irreverently, and 
 often bl isphemously of the Being who created 
 
BAD HABITS. 
 
 203 
 
 him. and who sus. ains him every moment of his 
 life, from whom he has every blessing he enjoys, 
 and w r ho is ever seeking his good? Such a one 
 will speak indignantly of the ingratitude of 
 another ; but what ingratitude is greater than 
 his! 
 
 A young man who has a proper respect for 
 himself will never swear. The habit is so en- 
 tirely useless, and the language so offensive to 
 religion, morality, and good taste, that he will 
 avoid it naturally. Whenever a young man is 
 heard to use these vulgar and profane expletives, 
 it is a sure sign that he has been keeping low 
 company ; for in none other do they commonly 
 prevail. 
 
 ■’* Besides the three bad habits named, some 
 young men fall into the practice of using the 
 slang phrases common to the lowest classes of 
 society. For this there is no excuse in the 
 world. The practice might be gravely argued 
 against, and its evils shown ; but that would be 
 treating it with too much seriousness. The best 
 corrective of it is a simple declaration of the fact, 
 that the habit is exceedingly offensive to good 
 taste, and that a young man, who is so silly as 
 to make use of “slang” in good society, is at 
 once set down as low-minded and vulgar. 
 
204 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 A young man who had, in the earlier years of 
 his life, been brought into association with persons 
 of little refinement, who thought it smart to ex- 
 press their feeble ideas in slang phrases, naturally 
 fell into the bad habit. As he grew older, and 
 was thrown among refined people, he became ob- 
 servant, and saw, by contrast, the silliness of a 
 mode of speaking which associated even refined 
 and pure ideas, with coarse images, or vulgar say- 
 ings; and so determined to correct in himself, 
 what his judgment condemned. But he did not 
 find this a very easy matter. He had become so 
 accustomed to the use of certain words, that they 
 were forever coming to his lips, and indicating to 
 others a low vein of sentiment which did not 
 really exist. ’ * 
 
 He was what is sometimes called a rising young 
 man ; and he was rising in even a higher sense than 
 the words usually indicate — rising in mental and 
 moral progress, as well as in worldly things. In 
 consequence, he was becoming gradually intro- 
 duced among people whose social rank was above 
 the one he had occupied when first entering the 
 world as a man ; and where the tastes, refinements, 
 and social proprieties of life are more observed and 
 regarded. 
 
 And now, in spite of his watchfulness over 
 himself, he would, every now and then, shock the 
 
BAD HABITS. 
 
 205 
 
 ears of some lady or gentleman who had become 
 interested in him, by a word that betrayed the 
 character of his early slang-talking associates. 
 
 In this refined circle, to which his real merit 
 gave him a welcome entrance, he met a young 
 lady of beauty, accomplishments, and great moral 
 worth, who interested him from the first moment 
 of their acquaintance. The favorable impression 
 was mutual; but it remained only upon one side. 
 The young lady’s estimation of the man who in- 
 terested her in the beginning, underwent a change. 
 Wherefore, this brief conversation with a friend 
 will explain. 
 
 “ How do you like Mr. W ?” asked this 
 
 friend, alluding to the young man. 
 
 “ He is quite intelligent,” was the simple an- 
 swer. 
 
 “ So I find him : intelligent beyond the men 
 we ordinarily meet. And handsome,” said the 
 friend. 
 
 “A fine looking man, certainly: but .” 
 
 “What?” 
 
 “ He hasn’t always kept good company.” 
 
 “ How do you know ?” 
 
 “ He betrays, now and then, an acquaintance 
 with terms and phrases that always offend good 
 taste.” 
 
 “ Ah, yes, now that you speak of it ” said the 
 
206 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 friend, 11 1 remember having remarked as much 
 myself. Why, he uses, at times, down-right 
 slang !” 
 
 “ I know he does. At Mrs. L \s last week 
 
 while he was talking earnestly, he let drop the 
 words, c It’s all in my eye/ and again, ‘ He came 
 up missing/ aud then to my horror, certain in- 
 dividuals about whom he was speaking were 
 ‘ small potatoes P He saw that I was sur- 
 prised at this last slip of the tongue, and colored 
 deeply.” 
 
 u What a pity V* remarked the friend. 
 
 “ It is, certainly, a pity that one with so many 
 excellencies should have such a blemish. Slang 
 is and ever has been particularly offensive to me. 
 I always regard it as the sign of innate vul- 
 garity.” 
 
 “ I do not think Mr. W innately vulgar by 
 
 any means,” said the other. 11 On the contrary 
 there is an air of innate refinement about him.” 
 
 “ So there is, taking him in the general ; but 
 this slang is the hand writing on the wall against 
 him so far as I am concerned. Yhu may call it a 
 weakness on my part, if you will; but I cannot 
 help it. The moment a gentleman or lady in- 
 dulges in slang phrases, that moment I feel my- 
 self removed to a distance. We can never be 
 intimate friends.” 
 
BAD HABITS. 
 
 207 
 
 The young lady was in earnest, and steadily re- 
 pelled all advances from W , whose feelings 
 
 had become much interested in her. The reason 
 of her coldness he never knew. But the barrier 
 between them was a little habit, which had fixed 
 itself so firmly that he was not able to break 
 wholly free from its tenacious hold. He was, 
 really, as refined in heart as this lady; and as true 
 a man as she was a woman. They were worthy 
 of each other. And yet, he hung out a sign of 
 vulgarity, and she mistook it for the index of a 
 vulgar quality with which she could have no in- 
 timate fellowship. 
 
 But there is a habit which stands more in a 
 young man’s way than the light one of using cant 
 and slang ; a habit that has marred the opening 
 fortunes of thousands upon thousands. "VVe do 
 not mean the habit of drinking — that terrible 
 curse — but the habit of chewing and smoking 
 tobacco. Of this vice we have already expressed 
 an opinion. We refer to it again, as we referred 
 to the use of slang phrases, in order to make ap- 
 parent some of the ways in which it acts inversely 
 to a young man’s interests in life. 
 
 Edward T , aged twenty, was anxious tc 
 
 get a situation that offered in a dry goods store, 
 and asked a friend of his family to speak to the 
 owner of the store about him. 
 
208 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 il 1 am particular about my young men/' said 
 the storekeeper. “ What do you know of Edward 
 T V ’ 
 
 “ He’s all right, I believe,” was the answer, 
 u I’ve known him for several years.” 
 u Tell him to call and see me.” 
 
 So Edward called, and mentioned his name. 
 
 “ Ah, yes !” said the storekeeper. 11 Mr. L 
 
 spoke to me about you.” 
 
 The young man took off his hat, and a cigar fell 
 from it to the floor. He did not see the contrac- 
 tion of the merchant’s brow as he stooped to pick 
 it up. The decision was against him. Only a few 
 questions were asked. 
 
 “ I will see Mr. L about you in a day or 
 
 two,” said the storekeeper, “ and let him know 
 whether you will suit me. But don’t depend on 
 the place. There are two or three applicants.” 
 
 “ He will not suit me, Mr. L .” The friend 
 
 of Edward met the storekeeper on the next day, 
 and this was the answer he received. 
 
 “ Why not ?” was enquired. 
 
 “ I do not wish to hurt the young man’s feel- 
 ings, and you need not repeat my objection, unless 
 you think it may be of use to him. But young 
 men with the habit he has acquired, rarely get the 
 mastery over it.” 
 
 “ What habit ?” asked the friend. 
 
BAD HABITS. 
 
 209 
 
 u The habit of smoking and chewing I may 
 be peculiar and over-exacting in regard to the 
 qualifications of my young men ; but I claim the 
 privilege of having things in my own establish- 
 ment to suit myself. I will not have a tobacco 
 chewer about me. My floors shall at least be free 
 from this defilement, and my customers spared the 
 annoyance of having their stomachs turned by the 
 segar-laden breath of a clerk. And beyond this 
 disgusting objection lies another and a serious one. 
 Young men who use tobacco, are apt to fall into 
 the habit of visiting segar stores, and lingering 
 about them. There is danger in this of forming 
 associations that may lead astray from good 
 morals; for there are, in all communities, idle or 
 vicious men, who hang loosely on society ; and 
 some of these are very apt to be found wasting 
 their time, or on the look out for prey, in the vi- 
 cinity of segar shops and drinking saloons, which 
 stand usually in very close proximity to each 
 other. So you see, I am not governed by any 
 hasty prejudice. I look upon the matter from my 
 own stand point, and, right or wrong, let my con- 
 victions form my own rule of conduct.” 
 
 And so Edward T lost an opportunity 
 
 that might have been the first upward stej to for- 
 tune ; for the place he wished to secure was in 
 every way desirable, the merchant being a man of 
 14 
 
210 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 wealth, with a large business, and known to be 
 liberal in his views toward young men, if he dis- 
 covered in them the right business and moral 
 qualities. 
 
 In another case, the decision against a young 
 man, who, in all other respects, suited his employ- 
 ers, was made, on the ground of his excessive use 
 of tobacco. An unusually dull season led the 
 house of Messrs. R, J , & Co., to a con- 
 
 sideration of the propriety of reducing their large 
 expenses, and on a conference of the principal 
 members of the firm, it was resolved to dispense 
 with the services of a salesman, a book-keeper, and 
 two lads who had recently come into the store. 
 There was no question as to which of the book- 
 keepers it was advisable to discharge ) but the de- 
 cision was not so easy when the salesmen were 
 referred to. The selection narrowed itself down 
 to two young men, both competent, and one in 
 some respects a better salesman than the other. 
 His name was Philip L . He had been mar- 
 
 ried for two or three years, and his family con- 
 sisted of a wife and one child. 
 
 “ Which of these two young men shall we re- 
 tain, Philip or Edward ?” 
 
 This was the question to be decided. 
 
 “ Philip is an excellent salesman,” said one of 
 the partners. 
 
BAD HABITS. 
 
 211 
 
 <( And so is Edward/’ remarked another. 
 
 “ Yes, both are competent young men, but Philip 
 is, if anything, the superior.” 
 
 “ But one serious objection lies against him.” 
 
 “ What ?” 
 
 “ His excessive and disgusting use of tobacco.” 
 
 To this all assented. 
 
 “ He has become to me,” skid the last speaker, 
 tl really offensive. He fairly smells of tobacco. 
 It seems to ooze through the pores of his skin. 
 The juice is squirted about, here, and there, and 
 everywhere, or collected in teeming spittoons. 
 You see it stealing down from the corners of his 
 mouth. It stains his lips, and pollutes his breath. 
 He cannot but affect, with disgust, many cus- 
 tomers.” 
 
 “ All too true,” was the general assent to this. 
 
 “ Now, Edward,” he went on, “ is a gentleman, 
 so far as offensive habits are concerned. He 
 neither chews nor smokes. I have always liked 
 him on this very account.” 
 
 “ So have I,” and 
 
 “ So have I,” went from lip to lip. 
 
 “ Then we will retain Edward, and let Philip 
 
 go.” 
 
 “ Philip has a family — Edward is single,” was 
 suggested. 
 
 And then the matter was discussed anew, and 
 
212 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 with reference to the young man’s position in life. 
 But the disgusting vice was against him. It had 
 always been a source of annoyance to the leading 
 members of the firm, who did not use tobacco in 
 any shape. Finally, it was decided to dispense 
 
 with the services of Philip L , and he was 
 
 thrown out of a good situation, at a time when it 
 was almost impossible to obtain employment. Five 
 years afterwards, Edward was taken into the firm 
 as a partner — Philip is still only a salesman on a 
 moderate salary. Tobacco had ruined his pros- 
 pects. 
 
 We might go on, adding instance after instance, 
 in which the habit we are condemning has 
 acted as a bar to advancement. Young men, 
 wrapped up in their own individuality, and wedded 
 to a self-indulgence, can hardly appreciate the 
 repulsive sentiments they often inspire in the 
 minds of good and influential men, who have it 
 in their power to aid them at just the point where 
 a helping hand is most needed, but ye have given 
 two suggestive illustrations, and they must suf- 
 fice. 
 
 It will never be known in how many thousands 
 of instances, this bad habit of using tobacco has 
 stood in the way of marriage alliances. A suit, 
 pressed earnestly, meets with a rejection. Why ? 
 The lady need not give her reason. But some- 
 
BAD HABITS. 
 
 213 
 
 thing in the lover has not come up to her ideal of 
 a husband. She wants a free, rational mind to 
 mate with her mind, not one that slumbers dream- 
 ily in the thrall of a sensual habit. She wants a 
 man, not a slave. And so, as the lover advances, 
 she recedes. Or it may be that her heart has be- 
 come interested. She has passed through a strong 
 conflict, and in pain and bitterness of spirit, averts 
 her face, and resolves to walk life’s path alone, 
 rather than in soul-companionship with one who 
 has married himself to a vice from which few ever 
 disenthral themselves. 
 
 Do not think lightly of a woman of this reflect- 
 ive, deliberate, resolute character, nor say that, if 
 a young lady doesn’t choose to take you as you are, 
 why the loss is hers. That is a weakness unwor- 
 thy of you. A woman with thought, decision, 
 and a spirit of self-denial like this, is a true wo- 
 man, and worth a hundred of your pliant girls, 
 who are ready to take you at a word, segars and 
 all, and think themselves fortunate. What is a 
 segar, or your favorite tobacco, to the life-compan- 
 ionship of a true, wise, good, and loving woman ? 
 
 If you cannot put them aside — if the filthy 
 habit that would be a daily offence to her is dearer 
 to you than her love — blame her not if she turn 
 away, though it be in sadness and tears. 
 
214 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUN« MEN 
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 
 HEALTH 
 
 Late hours, irregular habits, and want of 
 attention to diet, are common errors with most 
 young men, and these gradually, but at first im- 
 perceptibly, undermine the health, and lay the 
 foundation for various forms of disease in after 
 life. It is a very difficult thing to make young 
 persons comprehend this. They sit up as late 
 as twelve, one, and two o’clock, frequently, with- 
 out experiencing any ill effects ; they go without 
 a meal to-day, and to-morrow eat to repletion, 
 with only temporary inconvenience. One night 
 they will sleep three or four hours, and the next 
 nine or ten ; or one night, in their eagerness to 
 get away into some agreeable company, they will 
 take no food at all, and the next, perhaps, will eat 
 a hearty oyster supper, and go to bed upon it. 
 These, with various other irregularities, are com- 
 mon to the majority of young men, and are, as 
 just stated, the cause of much bad health in 
 mature life. Indeed, nearly all the shatteiod con- 
 stitutions, with which too many are cursed, are 
 
HEALTH. 
 
 215 
 
 the result of a disregard to the plainest precepts 
 of health in early life. 
 
 As health is the indispensable prerequisite to 
 a proper discharge of the duties of life, every 
 man is under obligation to society not to do any 
 thing, which, Ky producing a diseased condition 
 of thejaody, renders him unfit to attend efficient- 
 ly to his work or office. This is the view that 
 we are anxious to impress upon the minds of 
 those for whom we write. Although a man, 
 feeling and thinking altogether from self, may 
 imagine that he “ is his own man,” as some ex- 
 press it, and therefore at liberty to do with him- 
 self as he pleases, a little reflection must lead 
 him to see that this is a great error. No man 
 stands alone in society, or can be independent of 
 others. Each forms a part of the great social 
 body, and must faithfully and diligently do what 
 he can for the common good. There exists in 
 society a community of interests, and each works 
 for the whole, whether he designs to do so or not. 
 The farmer tills the soil, and draws therefrom his 
 abundant harvests of grain and other products 
 meet for the sustenance of man and beast. But it 
 is not for himself, and those immediately depend- 
 ent upon him, that his fields are rich with grain; 
 they could not consume the product of one year 
 in ten or twenty years. No ; his work is for the 
 
216 
 
 ADVICE TO YOU NO MEN. 
 
 whole, and he receives his proportion f'om the 
 labor of the whole. The manufacturer cannot 
 wear the hundreds and thousan€s of yards that 
 are produced by his looms in any year ; they go 
 to clothe the whole community. The builder 
 can occupy but one house; and yet he builds 
 many. The handiwork of the artisan is nearly 
 all for the comfort, convenience, and luxury of 
 others. While thus we see that every man labors 
 for the good of the whole, we find that every man 
 receives back from the labor of the whole all he 
 requires for health and comfort. It is the labor of 
 others that produces the clothes that warm and 
 protect him, the food that he eats, the house that 
 he lives in, and the furniture that makes that house 
 convenient and comfortable for himself and fam- 
 ily. It is rarely, indeed, that his own hands 
 produce any of the things absolutely essential 
 to life, health, and comfort. 
 
 Bearing this in mind, it can easily be seen that 
 no man has a right to abuse his health, and thus 
 lessen his ability to do his part in society for the 
 common good What one man has a natural and 
 absolute right to do, that is the inalienable right 
 of all ; and if one man has a right to abuse his 
 health, regardless of its effect upon others, every 
 one has a right to do so. But, were all to sacri- 
 fice health to pleasure, all agricultural labors, all 
 manufacturing and mechanic arts, would be im- 
 
HEALTH. 
 
 217 
 
 perfectly done, and the whole community would 
 suffer. Or, if all who tilled the ground were to 
 destroy their ability to labor steadily by irregu 
 iarities of life, while the manufacturer and the 
 artisan pursued their work with vigorous health, 
 a great wrong would be done to the latter. They 
 would give to the farmer clothes, and the various 
 utensils needed by him in the house or field, 
 while he would return them but scanty food, and 
 that, perhaps, poor in quality. What is true of 
 the whole is true of the part; and therefore, if 
 it be wrong for the whole community to lead 
 irregular lives to the destruction of health and 
 the ability to perform those uses necessary to the 
 well-being of the whole human race, it is wrong 
 for any individual to do so; for every failure or* 
 his part to work to the extent of his ability as 
 healthy man, is an injury to some other mem bey 
 of the common body. This is an immutak v 
 law. 
 
 Regarding the subject in this point of viev* 
 every young man who reflects at all, and who ii 
 not so thoroughly wedded to self as to be utterl) 
 indifferent to the well-being of others, will see 
 that he is under a solemn obligation to seek the 
 preservation of his health in order that he may be 
 able to do his part for the common good. Tc 
 act fr >ir this end is to act wisely and nobly. 
 
218 
 
 ADVICE TO YOLNG MEN. 
 
 But, as there are few, if any, in this thoroughly 
 selfish age, who can or will thus act, considera- 
 tions of another, though less exalted kind, must 
 be urged upon young men, in order to make them 
 see the necessity of preserving their health. But 
 before doing so, it may be necessary to repeat 
 the declaration with which we set out, — that late 
 hours, irregular habits, and inattention to diet, 
 will certainly undermine the health, and lay the 
 foundation for diseased conditions in after life. 
 The effect will be various in different constitu- 
 tions. One may destroy the healthy tone of his 
 stomach, and become, for the best half of his life 
 a miserable dyspeptic ; — thus, for a few years of 
 inordinate indulgence in the pleasures of the table, 
 be obliged to pay the penalty of abstinence from 
 nearly all generous and palatable food, and suffer 
 from the entire derangement of every healthy 
 organ in his system. The inability to perform 
 perfectly the work of his office will not only in- 
 jure the community, but himself; for it is a law in 
 the social economy, that he who contributes most 
 to the common stock shall receive most in re- 
 turn. To bodily sufferings of a most distressing 
 kind will therefore be added the deficiencies of 
 worldly goods, arising from unequal and unsus- 
 tained exertions. Another, inheriting a predis- 
 posifc ?n to diseases of the chest, may so weaken 
 
HEALTH. 
 
 219 
 
 and disturb the vital forces by irregularities and 
 excesses, as to render the lungs highly susceptible 
 to all disturbing causes, and find all his hopes 
 and energies blasted just in the prime of life, 
 by the development of an incurable pulmonary 
 disease; while another may so shatter his nerv- 
 ous system as to be unable to bear any business 
 excitement, any prolonged effort, or any exposure 
 or fatigue whatever, at a time when all these 
 are absolutely necessary to the sustenance of a 
 ? amily. 
 
 As every one inherits from his parents predis- 
 positions to diseases of body, as well as to dis- 
 eases of the mind, the health of the one, as well 
 as the other, depends upon an obedience to just 
 laws, both physical and moral. Whoever violates 
 these inevitably entails upon himself disabilities 
 and sufferings; and the earlier in life this is done, 
 the deeper will be the impression made, and the 
 more lasting its injurious consequences. 
 
 Let every young man, therefore, pay strict re- 
 gard to his health. Let him be temperate in 
 eating and drinking, and regular in all his habits. 
 And let him also see that he does not suffer him- 
 self to indulge in any evil passions of the mind, as 
 anger, malice, jealousy, envy, revenge, or any in- 
 ordinate desires; for these are as fatal to health 
 as abuses of the t ody, and do, in reality lead to 
 
220 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 these latter abuses almost inevitably. In fact 
 the cause of all the irregularities of youth are in 
 the mind. Let a young man, then, keep his de- 
 sires, his appetites, and his passions, under proper 
 subjection, and he will be in no danger of running 
 into those excesses which sow in his physical sys- 
 tem the seeds of all diseases. 
 
 While on the subject of health we cannot close 
 without a few words in reference to the deleterious 
 effects of tobacco on the human system. It is 
 now pretty well conceded by medical men, that 
 no one who uses tobacco in any form, can be in 
 the enjoyment of perfect health ; and the testi- 
 mony of the profession as to its injurious action, 
 is of a character to startle and alarm every one 
 who has become wedded to the habit of smoking 
 or chewing. In order to impress the minds of 
 all young men who read these pages with the im- 
 portance of this subject, we subjoin the testimony 
 of some eminent medical men, and ask their 
 thoughtful consideration of the facts educed. 
 
 The following extract is from a paper on the 
 “ Effects of Tobacco on Europeans in India/ 7 by 
 James Ranald Martin, Esq., in the London Lancet 
 of 28th February, 1857 : — 
 
 “It is matter of constant observation amongst 
 army surgeons, ever since the peace of 1815, that 
 the habit of segar-smoking, introduced into this 
 
HEALTH. 
 
 221 
 
 country from Portugal, Spain, and France, by the 
 officers of the British army, has produced a greater 
 amount of pale, sallow complexions, amongst young 
 officers more especially, than had ever before been 
 observed as resulting from any other cause. Had 
 the morbid complexion been all, the matter would 
 have been of little importance ; but here it gen- 
 erally means loss of appetite, defective nutrition, 
 anaemia, and disordered nervous and vascular 
 functions, all in the same individual. My obser 
 vations lead me altogether to the conclusions of 
 Van Praag, that the operation of tobacco is at first 
 stimulant, and at last depressing, not only in the 
 circulation and respiration, but also on the nervous 
 system; accelerated circulation, increase of re- 
 spiratory movements, and excessive irritation of 
 the muscular system, being the phenomena first 
 observed. The concluding symptoms are those 
 of general depression, both of animal and organic 
 life, with occasional instances of moral and phy- 
 sical impotency, accompanied by the most mourn- 
 ful results. I am here speaking of what I have 
 witnessed. 
 
 “ The most ordinary results of excessive use 
 of tobacco are — the most severe forms of irritable 
 dyspepsia, giddiness, disturbed action of the heart, 
 nervous tremors, and cachexia, all amounting oc- 
 casionally to palsy. Young gentlemen who are in 
 
222 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN 
 
 the habit of 1 putting an enemy into their mouths 
 to steal away their brains/ do not become aware 
 of these facts until it sometimes becomes too late. 
 A highly scientific and distinguished captain of 
 engineers of the Indian army told me — ‘ All the 
 young fellows of my term who went out to India, 
 having bad habits, are dead, excepting two/ 
 And what has become of them ? c They were 
 cashiered !' Here the question of tobacco was not 
 immediately in contemplation ; but I have no 
 doubt whatever, from the results of my observa- 
 tions in India and at home, that of the habits 
 which led to this sad end, the abuse of tobacco 
 was, amongst these young officers, the most bane- 
 fully influential. 
 
 “ I dispute the alleged benefits of even moderate 
 tobacco smoking as a preventive of damp or of 
 malaria ; and seriously anomalous symptoms I have 
 seen to arise, in the progress of malarious fevers, 
 from the abuse of it — such symptoms as may lead 
 to the most grave mistakes in the treatment of 
 fevers, if the medical officer be not careful to in- 
 quire into the habits of his patient. Of this also 
 I have seen the most emphatic examples. Those 
 who urge the prophylactic benefits of tobacco, 
 carry the habit from the swamps of Burmah into 
 the arid plains of Hindostan, in defiance of geo- 
 graphical differences. 
 
HEALTH. 
 
 223 
 
 u I can state of my own observatior , that the 
 miseries, mental and bodily, which I have wit- 
 nessed from the abuse of segar-smoking, and 
 chiefly in young men, far exceeded anything de- 
 tailed in the 1 Confessions of an Opium Eater f 
 and I feel assured that the abuse of tobacco, how- 
 ever employed, may be classified amongst those 
 habits which produce chronic poisoning.” 
 
 The following extract is from the article, u Is 
 Smoking Injurious?” in the London Lancet of 
 31st January, 1857, by Dr. Johnson : — 
 
 “ What is the testimony of facts ? Why, for 
 one inveterate smoker who will bear testimony 
 favorable to the practice, ninety-nine such, of the 
 candid of these, are found to declare their belief 
 that this practice is injurious ; and I scarcely ever 
 yet met with one habitual smoker who did not, in 
 his candid moments, regret his commencement of 
 the habit. 
 
 u A few weeks since, I was summoned to attend 
 a gentleman in the country. On my arrival I 
 found him complaining of headache, nausea, lan- 
 guor, loss of appetite and sleep, and inability to 
 rise in the morning ; his expression was anxious, 
 haggard, and nervous ; his complexion sallow and 
 jaundice looking; his tongue highly furred, and 
 teeth incrustcd with a dirty greenish-yellow de- 
 posit ; his breath, which was exceedingly offensive 
 
224 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 from the odor of tobacco, revealed to my mind the 
 nature of the evil. On my inquiry, he informed 
 me that for many years he had indulged rather 
 freely in the use of tobacco, declaring, at the same 
 time, that ever since his apprenticeship to smo- 
 king, the pernicious habit had gradually and insid- 
 iously crept upon him, till at length it became 
 confirmed. I persuaded him to desist from its in- 
 dulgence, and succeeded; but he found the task 
 a terrible one, so enslaving is the habit. After a 
 short time, however, he succeeded in conquering 
 the appetite. Many of the symptoms have 
 entirely disappeared, and he is now considerably 
 improved. Is not this case, in the experience 
 of most medical men, the type of thousands 
 more ? 
 
 “ It is a certain fact, that devoted smokers are 
 liable to both constitutional and local disorders of 
 very serious characters. Among the former, we 
 notice giddiness, sickness, vomiting, dyspepsia, 
 diarrhoea, angina pectoris, diseases of the liver, 
 pancreas, and heart ; nervousness, amaurosis, 
 paralysis, apoplexy, atrophy, deafness, and ma- 
 nia. Amongst the latter, ulceration of the 
 lips, ulceration of gums, cheeks, mucous membrane 
 of the mouth, tonsils, throat, etc. 
 
 “ Most of these results I have selected from 
 authors of some locus standi — amongst whom I 
 
HEALTH. 
 
 225 
 
 may mention Drs. Prout, Bright, Laycock, Rad- 
 ciiflfe, and Ranking, Pereira, Orfila, Trousseau, 
 Johnstone, Sir B. Brodie, and Professor Lizars. 
 Dr. Taylor, in his valuable work on poisons says : 
 — ‘ That a poisonous substance like tobacco, whe- 
 ther in powder, juice, or vapor, cannot be brought 
 in contact with an absorbing surface like mucous 
 membrane, without in many cases producing dis- 
 order of the system, which the consumer probably 
 is quite ready to attribute to any other cause than 
 that which would render it necessary for him to de- 
 prive himself of what he considers not merely as 
 a luxury, but an article actually necessary to his 
 existence/ ” ' 
 
 “ Sir B. Brodie states in his Physiological Re- 
 searches, published in 1851, under Effects of Ve- 
 getable Poisons : ‘ We may conclude from these 
 experiments, that the empyreumatic oil of tobacco 
 occasions death, by destroying the functions of the 
 brain, without directly acting on the circulation. 
 In other words, its effects are similar to those of 
 alcohol, the juice of aconite, and the essential oil 
 of almonds.” 
 
 The injurious properties of tobacco are deter- 
 mined by the following analysis of its chemical 
 constituents by Professor Johnston, of Durham, 
 in his Chemistry of Common Life : u These are 
 three in number : a volatile oil, a volatile alkali, 
 15 
 
226 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 and an erapyreumatic oil The vola- 
 
 tile oil has the odor of tobacco, and possesses a 
 bitter taste. On the mouth and throat it produces 
 a sensation similar to that caused by tobacco 
 smoke. When applied to the nose, it occasions 
 sneezing, and when taken internally, it gives rise 
 to giddiness, nausea, and an inclination to vomit. 
 The volatile alkali has the odor of tobacco, an 
 acrid, burning, long-continuing tobacco taste, and 
 possesses narcotic and very poisonous qualities. 
 In this latter respect, it is scarcely inferior to prus- 
 sic acid — a single drop being sufficient to kill a 
 dog. Its vapor is so irritating, that it is difficult 
 to breathe in a room in which a single drop has 
 been evaporated. The reader may recollect the 
 great sensation produced in 1851, by the trial of 
 the Comte de Bocarm6, at Mons, and his subse- 
 quent execution, for poisoning his brother-in-law 
 with nicotin. A hundred pounds of the dry to- 
 bacco-leaf yield about seven pounds of nicotin. 
 In smoking a hundred grains of tobacco, there- 
 fore, say a quarter of an ounce, there may be 
 drawn into the mouth two grains or more of one of 
 the most subtle of all known poisons. The empy- 
 reumatic oil is acrid and disagreeable to the taste, 
 narcotic, and poisonous. One drop applied to the 
 tongue of a cat brought on convulsions, and in 
 two minutes occasioned death. The Hottentots 
 
HEALTH. 
 
 227 
 
 are said to kill snakes by putting a drop of it on 
 their tongues. Under its influence the reptiles 
 die as instantaneously as if killed by an electric 
 shock. It appears to act nearly in the same way 
 as prussic acid. 
 
 “ The segar, especially if smoked to the end, 
 discharges directly into the mouth of the smoker 
 everything that is produced by the burning. 
 Thus, the more rapidly the leaf burns and the 
 smoke is inhaled, the greater the proportion of the 
 poisonous substances which is drawn into the 
 mouth. And finally, when the saliva is retained, 
 the fullest effect of all the three narcotic ingre- 
 dients of the smoke will be produced upon the 
 nervous system of the smoker. It is not surpri- 
 sing, therefore, that those who have been accus- 
 tomed to smoke segars, especially of strong 
 tobacco, should find any other pipe both tame aud 
 tasteless, except the short black cutty , which has 
 lately come into favor among inveterate smokers. 
 Such persons live in an almost constant state of 
 narcotism or narcotic drunkenness, which must 
 ultimately affect the health even of the strongest. 
 
 “ The cliewer of tobacco, it will be understood 
 from the above description, does not experience 
 the effects of the poisonous oil which is produced 
 during the burning of the leaf. The natural vol- 
 atile oil and the nicotin are the substances which 
 
228 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 act upon him. These, from the quantity of them, 
 which he involuntarily swallows or absorbs, im- 
 pair his appetite, and gradually weaken his powers 
 of digestion.” 
 
 The subjoined extract is taken from a commu- 
 nication on the tobacco question, by Mr. Solly, 
 in the London Lancet of February 14th, 1857 : 
 
 “ The more I think of the tobacco question, the 
 more it haunts me. I feel that I cannot do justice 
 to its importance, but I am anxious to add some 
 thing to my last communication. Every day the 
 subject is forced upon my mind. I scarcely meet 
 a friend or patient who does not bear his testimony 
 to the mischief of which he has been the witness, 
 in his own case or that of some friend, from to- 
 bacco. 
 
 “ The profession have no idea of the ignorance 
 of the public regarding the nature of tobacco. 
 Even intelligent, well-educated men, stare in as- 
 tonishment, when you tell them that tobacco is 
 one of the most powerful poisons we possess. 
 Now, is this right ? Has the medical profession 
 done its duty ? Ought we not, as a body, to have 
 told the public that, of all our poisons, it is the 
 most insidious, uncertain, and, in full doses, the 
 most deadly ? Why should they not know at once 
 how often it has proved fatal in the human sub- 
 ject, when injected into the rectum in strangu- 
 
HEALTH. 
 
 229 
 
 lated hernia. I heard, only the other day, that a 
 celebrated surgeon — rather an obstinate one — since 
 dead, lost five cases in succession from the effect 
 of tobacco injected into the bowels. 
 
 u It seems almost trifling with the subject, and 
 yet the extreme ignorance which prevails regard- 
 ing this frightful pest, rendering even trifles 
 weighty in the scale, induces me to remind all 
 smokers, and those of our brethren who madly 
 encourage it, that the first effect of a segar on any 
 one, demonstrates that tobacco can poison by its 
 smoke, and through the lungs, just as certainly as 
 through the bowels.” 
 
 To this startling testimony on the subject of to- 
 bacco-poisoning, we shall add nothing; but we beg 
 our readers not to let it pass lightly from their 
 thoughts. There are more terrible effects than 
 any above enumerated, involving the loss of life. 
 No one who indulges in the use of tobacco in any 
 form can tell how soon he may fall a victim. 
 There is a little treatise on the 11 Use and Abuse 
 of Tobacco,” by Dr. John Lizars, of Edinburgh, 
 which is earnestly commended to your attention. 
 
 Above we have made a few extracts from this 
 treatise, but they only touch the subject at single 
 points. Its careful perusal, and a thoughtful con- 
 sideration of the many aspects in which the use 
 
230 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 of tobacco is presented, will give the matter an 
 importance in your mind to which it has probably 
 never been elevated. If, through motives for a 
 temporary self-denial furnished by this book, you 
 can get free from an injurious habit, its possession 
 will be one of the greatest blessings of your 
 life. 
 
 CHAPTER XXL 
 
 ENTERING INTO BUSINESS. 
 
 Entering into business is, except marriage, 
 the most important act of a young man’s life. 
 And, as the proportion of those who are unsuc- 
 cessful in their first efforts is as two to three, it 
 behooves every one to look well to what he is 
 doing before taking a step that may involve him 
 in serious losses or difficulties. The result of 
 our own observation is, that a young man who 
 enters into business under the age of twenty-five, 
 unless he be taken into partnership in an estab- 
 lished firm, is almost sure to fail. If he have 
 money, he will lose it ; and if credit be his only 
 capital,- he will get involved in debt. There are, 
 
ENTERING INTO BUSINESS. 
 
 231 
 
 of course, some exceptions to this, but they are 
 eery few. 
 
 One necessary prerequisite to success in busi- 
 ness is a thorough knowledge of that branch into 
 which a man enters. It is, therefore, always a 
 hazardous step for any one to commence a busi- 
 ness of the details of which he is ignorant, no 
 matter how flattering may be the inducements 
 held out. This is a prominent cause of failure. 
 Another cause is the young man’s impatience to 
 get along fast, and realize great profits in a very 
 short period. But this is not the history of suc- 
 cessful houses, nor of men who have acquired 
 great wealth. Safe and sure beginnings are 
 always small, and the growth gradual. Sudden 
 inflations meet with as sudden collapses. A 
 young man who has been a clerk in a respecta- 
 ble house, that has been growing gradually for 
 years, determines upon going into business. But 
 he is not content with a small beginning. He 
 must have as handsome a store and as fine a stock 
 of goods as his old, substantial employers, and 
 strains his credit to the utmost to gratify his 
 pride and false notions in regard to the true 
 means necessary to success in trade. Without 
 sufficient capital to bear the heavy losses that 
 too often attend a heavy business, and the large 
 Bccumu ation of unsalable goods, a few year* 
 
232 
 
 ADVICE TC YOUNG MEN. 
 
 tell the story of his rise and fall. This is the 
 history of hundreds in our large cities. Every 
 year sees the passing away of some scores of 
 houses established in this way, and yet the lesson 
 seems to do no good ; for every year scores of 
 others are ready to take the places of their un- 
 fortunate predecessors, without any more of the 
 elements of success about them. 
 
 Many young men are tempted into business, 
 and induced to make a bold start, upon the 
 always uncertain basis of credit, from hearing 
 so much said about this one and another who 
 has commenced life without a dollar, and in a 
 few years retired with an independent fortune. 
 There is a great deal of this kind of gossip 
 among clerks and those who have just entered 
 into business. They can name hundreds of in- 
 stances where young men have launched boldly 
 out, and made from twenty to a hundred thousand 
 dollars in a few years; and will actually point 
 out this, that, and the other one, as the veritable 
 personages. Now, it is one thing for a man in 
 business to say that he has made fifty thousand 
 dollars, for instance, and another thing really to 
 have made it. We have seen the end of a good 
 many who had made fortunes in a wonderfully 
 short space of time, and the winding up generally 
 showed tl em to be worse than nothing. The 
 
ENTERING INTO BUS/NESS. 
 
 233 
 
 reason why the notion is so generally prevalent 
 that a fortune may be made in this country in a 
 very few years, if a man have sufficient boldness, 
 activity, and enterprise, is because, in periods of 
 inflation which have occurred, every thing ob- 
 tains a fictitious value. The time has been 
 when a piece of property, purchased to-day for 
 five thousand dollars, has sold for fifty or one 
 hundred thousand before the lapse of twelve 
 months ; or stocks which cost ten thousand dol- 
 lars last week have netted twenty or thirty thou- 
 sand this week. In times like those, when the 
 volume of paper money was immense, goods 
 could be sold freely and at large profits. This 
 would make the gains of business very great in a 
 few years. Far more than all the profits, how- 
 ever, were usually trusted out to persons who 
 bought freely because they could buy on credit. 
 From engaging in speculations when there was 
 an upward tendency in every thing, and from 
 making a few fortunate operations, combined with 
 an active trade, when every thing was brisk, 
 young men, who have had only a few thousands 
 to begin with, have, in a very short period be- 
 come quite wealthy. But it was generally the 
 case til at this wealth consisted in property said to 
 be worth so much, and which might, at the time, 
 sell for its valuation to somebody, who would give 
 
234 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 his note for it at six, nine, twelve, or twenty-four 
 months. There are a few instances where per- 
 sons thus successful have had the prudence to 
 convert their property into something more sub- 
 stantial than notes of hand drawn by Tom, Dick, 
 and Harry, or town lots from which the first 
 spadeful of earth had not yet been lifted. But in 
 most cases, when the storms came which always 
 follow such periods of sunshine, these men were 
 among the first to be driven under. The story 
 of their rapidly-acquired fortunes is still told , 
 but the real cause of their speedy elevation is 
 not understood, nor is the sequel known or al- 
 luded to. 
 
 A prudent young man will hardly suffer him- 
 self to be deceived by stories of this kind, and 
 tempted into business in the hope of making a 
 fortune by a bold dash : if he should be, he 
 will be almost certain to lose what money he may 
 happen to have, and get involved in debt beside ; 
 for with the views of business he will hold, such 
 a thing as a small beginning and cautious opera- 
 tions will be out of the question. As before said, 
 the elements of success in business are to be 
 found in a thorough knowledge of the particular 
 branch in which a young mah is about to engage, 
 and in a maturity of judgment acquire ! by a few 
 years of experience and observation ir the world 
 
ENTERING INTO BUSINESS. 
 
 235 
 
 as a man. With this there must exist a willing- 
 ness to be content for a time with small things 
 — to be willing to wait for the seed sown to ger- 
 minate, the tender blade to shoot forth, and 
 the stock gradually to increase, and grow, and 
 gain strength to mature and support the grain. 
 It is far better to advance slowly, and wait even 
 as long as ten years before the gains of labor 
 begin to be of much importance, than to rush 
 ahead for a time, and, long before ten years have 
 rolled around, be thrown to the earth, and em- 
 barrassed by debts, to pay which the ability may 
 never come. 
 
 As the true way to begin is to begin with 
 moderate expectations and a small business, the 
 first rule to adopt is, the determination to make 
 the personal expenses as light as possible. The 
 error which most young men commit is, to in- 
 crease their personal expenses as soon as they 
 enter into business. The spending of one thou- 
 sand dollars a year, instead of five hundred, takes 
 just five hundred out of the business, and sinks it 
 absolutely. The saving of five hundred dollars 
 each year for three or four years, and keeping 
 the amount in the business, will, of itself, be an 
 important matter, and may actually save the busi- 
 ness in an extremity, or unexpected loss, when, 
 if it had bee a spent, destruction would be 
 
2^6 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 inevitable. Care in regard to the expenses at- 
 tendant upon the prosecution of business is also 
 an important matter. Ia rents, personal expenses, 
 clerk hire, and petty expenditures of various 
 kinds, more than the entire profits of a new busi- 
 ness may be consumed. If there is any borrowed 
 capital, and interest to pay thereon, necessity for 
 the strictest economy will be even more impera- 
 tive. 
 
 But entering into business is one thing, 
 and conducting it on right principles another. 
 Enough has already been said in this work to 
 make any one see and feel the force of the posi- 
 tion, that the common good ought to be regarded 
 by every man, and that whoever seeks to secure 
 the common good most effectually secures his 
 own. This does not mean that a man should 
 throw all his earnings into the treasury of the 
 commonwealth, or do any act of a similar kind; 
 or that he should neglect his own interest in 
 seeking to forward the interests of others. The 
 arrangement of society, under the direction of an 
 all-wise Providence, provides for every man’s well- 
 being in the pursuit of some employment that 
 benefits the whole ; and the conducting of these 
 employments on right principles is nothing more 
 than each man attending diligently to his own 
 business in life, but without in any way inter fer- 
 
ENTERING INTO BUSINESS* 
 
 237 
 
 ing with his neighbor’s business, or taking the 
 slightest advantage of him in any mutual trans- 
 actions. If such were the acknowledged laws of 
 trade, the well-being of all would be secured. 
 He who most served the public good in the 
 greater extent of his useful products, would re- 
 ceive the greatest return ; and he who was less 
 active and diligent, a smaller return. 
 
 Such, however, are not the laws that govern 
 trade in these evil and degenerate days. Most 
 men seek so eagerly to increase their worldly 
 gains, as to disregard entirely the interests of 
 others ; nay, not only to disregard them, but 
 actually to invade them with deliberate purpose. 
 Thus we have cheating of all grades, from the 
 speculator’s overreaching operations down to the 
 selling of goods by spurious weights and meas- 
 ures, or obtaining them under false pretences. 
 
 But let every young man who is about enter- 
 ing into business, no matter what it n ay be, or 
 who commences the practice of a proi ission for 
 which he has duly qualified himself, resolve, ere 
 he takes the first step, that he, for one, will be an 
 honest man in the community ; that he will 
 diligently seek to advance himself in his business 
 or profession by all right means; but that he will 
 in no case take even the smallest advantage of 
 his neighbor. He need not be anxious about the 
 
288 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 final result; all he has to do is to use diligence, 
 wisdom, and prudence, and these will carry him 
 through, even amid the wrongs and disorders of 
 society as it now exists He may not grow rich 
 as rapidly as his neighbor, who can manage by 
 cheating to make a larger profit on his goods, 
 and by false pretences to gain a greater amount 
 of custom; but his advancement will be rapid 
 enough to give him all that is needful for health, 
 comfort, and a good conscience. 
 
 It is seriously argued, by many who are en- 
 gaged in business, that deception and false rep- 
 resentation are absolutely necessary to success; 
 that it is impossible for a strictly-honest man to 
 succeed in business. But this is not true. We 
 believe, however, that, in a business community 
 where nearly all take undue advantages in trade, 
 an honest man will find it difficult to sustain 
 himself, unless he be wary, active, and energetic ; 
 for he will lose by the dishonesty of others, with- 
 out being able to repair the loss by dishonest 
 practices in turn. But what right-thinking man 
 would not rather suffer the loss of worldly goods 
 than the loss of honor ? Who would not be con- 
 tent with a smaller portion of wealth, accom- 
 panied by a consciousness of having done what 
 was just and right between man and man, than 
 to be the possessor of millions obtained by over 
 
ENTERING INTO BUSINESS. 
 
 289 
 
 reaching and a system of successful fraud not 
 recognizable by the laws? Any undue advan- 
 tage in business is stealing; for it is taking 
 another’s goods without his consent or cogni- 
 zance. 
 
 There are various modes of overreaching in 
 business, against which every honest young man 
 will set his face. Nearly all speculations are 
 dishonest means, by which one man gains a cer- 
 tain amount of money in a transaction that 
 another loses. A merchant gains intelligence, by 
 the superior facilities which he happens to pos- 
 sess, of a rise in the price of some article in a 
 neighboring market. He goes to his neighbor, 
 who is yet ignorant of this rise, and buys from 
 him all of that article he has in store at the 
 prevailing prices of the day, and thus secures 
 both his own and his neighbor’s profits. This is a 
 very common transaction, but, judged by the rule 
 we have laid down, a very dishonest one. Again, 
 a merchant buys up ail of an article there is in 
 the market, at a time when he knows there will 
 be a scarcity, and doubles the price. This is not 
 honest; for he is enriching himself by extorting 
 from others an exorbitant rate for a necessary 
 article. All stock speculations are conducted on 
 the broadest principles of loss and gain — like 
 gambling. We doubt very much if any man 
 
240 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 who engages actively in them can be gorernea 
 by an honest regard for the interests of his fellow- 
 man. It seems to be nothing but an eager 
 scramble for money, no matter to whom it prop- 
 erly belongs. 
 
 These are bold and palpable modes of over- 
 reaching in business, and men enter into them 
 unblushingly. The concealed and underhand 
 methods are far more numerous. They ap- 
 pertain to every trade and calling, and are 
 practised under the most perfectly assumed ex- 
 teriors of fairness and honesty. These are short 
 weights and measures, false representations as to 
 quality, exorbitant prices where the buyer is ig- 
 norant, and various other frauds upon purchasers. 
 The mechanic slights his work in places where 
 it cannot be readily seen, and thus is enabled tG 
 sell cheaper than his neighbor who makes a good 
 article. And throughout all trades and profes- 
 sions there prevails a system of fraud upon the 
 public which is becoming apparent in the gradual 
 deterioration of almost every article of general 
 consumption, while the makers stun the public 
 ear with declarations of the superior quality of ev- 
 ery thing they produce. Thus the effort of each 
 calling to secure its own interests, at the expense 
 of the whole, has been the effort of all ; and the 
 consequence is, that all are worse off for it. But 
 
ENTERING INTO BUSINESS. 
 
 241 
 
 this result is no matter of surprise. It is the 
 legitimate effect of an adequate cause. 
 
 The only remedy for this is Toi each man, 
 acting from a principle of integrity, to strive 
 honestly to perform all that appertains to his call- 
 ing If he is a mechanic, let him not look 
 altogether to the money he is to receive for his 
 work, but consider as well him for whom the 
 work is intended, and be careful that it be of a 
 good quality, and worth the price he receives for 
 it. If he be a merchant, let him buy with judg- 
 ment, and sell with a just regard to the rights of 
 others. And let all men, no matter what may be 
 their calling, faithfully regard the good of others 
 as well as their own. To do this, is simply to 
 refrain from injuring others in any transactions 
 had with them. 
 
 If every young man, now entering upon life, 
 were to act from the principles here laid down, 
 how different, in a few years, would be the aspect 
 of affairs in the business world ! Trade would be 
 in a far more healthy condition, and every man in 
 business would feel himself more firmly estab- 
 lished. And the reason is obvious. There would 
 be no overreaching ; no disturbance of the regu- 
 lar course of trade by eager, selfish speculators ; 
 no interference with one man’s business by 
 another, as is now often the case, by which it 
 16 
 
242 
 
 ADVACE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 not unfrequently happens that his prospects for 
 life are ruined. Instead of sudden and great 
 accumulations of money in a few hands, for the 
 purpose of affecting the market for selfish ends, 
 to the injury, perhaps, of hundreds, there would 
 be, in time, a greater equalization of capital, and 
 the simple and true law of demand and supply, as 
 a regularly-existing state, subject to but few, and 
 they not sudden and broad fluctuations, would 
 be the balance-wheel to trade. This would be a 
 blessing to all. 
 
 Most earnestly do we urge upon young men, 
 just entering or about to enter into business, to 
 look this matter fully in the face, and endeavor to 
 feel it as a subject vital to the true well-being of 
 society. Whenever a reform begins, it must begin 
 with them. To them society looks as its regen- 
 erators. Let every young man endeavor to feel 
 the responsibility that rests upon him as an in- 
 dividual, and act well and wisely his part, when 
 he finds himself standing in the world’s arena. 
 
MARRIAGE. 
 
 24 6 
 
 CHAPTER XXII. 
 
 MARRIAGE. 
 
 On this subject very few tliinlc seriously, and 
 those who make it a matter of much reflection 
 too generally think erroneously. We allude, of 
 course, to young persons. Those of more ma- 
 ture age have clearer views ; but too often these 
 are consequent upon either seeing or feeling the 
 evils that result from marriages entered into from 
 blind passions or improper motives. The great 
 difficulty, with regard to those who most need 
 proper instruction on this subject, is, that they 
 will not hearken to what is said to them, but 
 either follow the leadings of impulse and passion, 
 or look with cool deliberation to the attainment 
 of some selfish end. In either case, mutual un- 
 nappiness is the almost inevitable result. 
 
 Marriage is the most important event in a 
 man’s life, because it brings him into the very 
 closest relationship with another, and therefore 
 subjects him to the disturbance of bvery incon- 
 gruous or opposite thing in the character of his 
 new companion. This is one reason, but there 
 
244 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNtf MEN. 
 
 are others which are more vital and important 
 and which can only be understood when there is 
 some knowledge of the true laws which ought to 
 govern in marriage. These laws have their ori- 
 gin in the distinctive difference which exists, and 
 has existed from creation, between man and wo- 
 man. This difference does not lie in the mere 
 form of body peculiar to each. It is far more 
 deeply grounded. The difference is in the 
 mental and spiritual form ; it is, therefore, of a 
 most radical kind. To make the whole subject 
 of this difference clearly comprehended would 
 require a treatise of greater extent than our en- 
 tire work ; and we shall not, therefore, risk mis- 
 apprehension by the mere enunciation of the con- 
 clusions to which such a treatise would bring 
 every reflecting mind. The main thing to be 
 understood, however, is, that man and woman are 
 so created as to be imperfect except in marriage 
 union, and therefore that marriage is an orderly 
 state. In man we find a peculiar development of 
 brain, — the organ by which the mind acts, — that 
 marks his difference from the woman ; and in wo- 
 man there is a peculiar development that marks 
 her difference from the man ; and yet both pos- 
 sess the same formations. In man, the intellec- 
 tual region shows a larger development, and in 
 woman, that region of the brain by which the 
 
MARRIAGE 
 
 245 
 
 affections of the mind come into activ.ty; yet 
 both have intelligence and affection. But the 
 one is a thinking man, and the other a loving 
 man; and, in union, they make one perfect man. 
 The affections of a man are, as a general thing, 
 guided by his reason ; and the reason of a woman, 
 as a general thing, is guided by her affections. 
 Of course, there are exceptions, as in masculine 
 women, so called, and effeminate men ; but these 
 are looked upon as social monsters; and it is 
 very well known that they do little to advance 
 society towards a state of true order, although 
 the first class sometimes make a great noise in 
 the world, and do their full share of harm. But 
 only when they unite their mental forces in a 
 just marriage, — that is, when, in the conjugal 
 union, the intelligence of the man and the affec- 
 tion of the woman are also married, and look to 
 one end, — is there a perfect man in the world. 
 If this does not take place, — and, alas ! its occur- 
 rence is a rare thing in these times, — there will 
 be more or less discord and unhappiness between 
 married partners. 
 
 To illustrate this so as to bring it home with 
 some kind of force to even minds not given to 
 close and abstract reflection, we will suppose that 
 a woman, who possesses a fortune, is addressed by 
 ft man whom she believes to be high-minded, in- 
 
246 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 telligent, and truly moral. These are what she, 
 as a right-minded woman, can love in a man. 
 After marriage, however, she makes the dis- 
 covery that it was not for her virtues that she was 
 loved and wooed by this man, but for her wealth, 
 and that, so far from being high-minded and 
 honorable, he is base-minded and dishonorable. 
 Could there possibly be any union of souls be- 
 tween these two persons? Could his intelligence 
 and her affections ever blend and become as one 
 mind ? No. So long as life lasted they must be 
 in discord. 
 
 And the same will be the case if beauty alone, 
 or the desire to form a respectable or distin- 
 guished connection, or any other worldly or selfish 
 motive, be the leading end in a man’s mind when 
 he seeks to gain the affections of a woman. No 
 woman believes herself loved for any external 
 grace, accomplishment, or possession, by the man 
 whom she loves in return, blit for herself alone. 
 If, after marriage, she discover that she has been 
 mistaken, from that moment her confidence in 
 her husband is destroyed ; and the date of her 
 unhappiness, as well as his own, has commenced. 
 He will find that, notwithstanding she may be 
 faithful to all her duties as a wife, no union 
 of mind takes place, nor can take place ; that 
 she will not, and cannot, love his intelligence, nor 
 
MARRIAGE. 
 
 247 
 
 give him any counsel or strength in the perform- 
 ance of his duties in life. In most things, she will 
 be inclined to differ with rather than agree with 
 him, if matters are referred to her ; but, usually, 
 she will be altogether passive in things of general 
 concern, contenting herself with her domestic 
 duties alone. As a consequence, he will grow 
 more and more self-wdled ; for he must trust to 
 his own reason for every thing, unwarmed by the 
 glow of her affections; and her mind will con- 
 tract itself more and more within its own little 
 sphere, because not drawn out and expanded by 
 sympathy with his more widely-reaching intelli- 
 gence, and both will be unhappy. 
 
 If a young man would escape these sad conse- 
 quences, let him shun the rocks upon which so 
 many have made shipwreck. Let him disregard, 
 totally, all considerations of wealth, beauty, ex- 
 ternal accomplishments, fashion, connections in 
 society, and every other mere selfish and worldly 
 end, and look into the mind and heart of the woman 
 he thinks of marrying. If he cannot love her for 
 herself alone, — that is, for all that goes to make 
 up her character as a woman, — let him disregard 
 every external inducement, and shun a marriage 
 with her as the greatest evil to which he could 
 be subjected. And if he have in him a spark of 
 virtuous feeling, — if he have one unselfish and 
 
248 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 generous emotion, — he will shun such a ma? 
 riage for the woman’s sake also for it would be 
 sacrificing her happiness as well as his own. 
 
 From what is here set forth, every young man 
 can see how vitally important it is for him to 
 make his choice in marriage from a right end. 
 Wealth cannot bring happiness, and is ever in 
 danger of taking to itself wings ; beauty cannot 
 last long where there is grief at the heart ; and 
 distinguished connections are a very poor substi- 
 tute for the pure love of a true woman’s heart. 
 
 All that has been said refers to the ends whici 
 should govern in the choice of a wife. Direc- 
 tions as to the choice itself can only be of a 
 general character ; for the circumstances sur- 
 rounding each one, and the particular circles into 
 which he is thrown, will have specific influences, 
 which will bias the judgment either one way or 
 another. One good rule, it will, however, be well 
 to observe; and that is, to be on your guard 
 against those young ladies who seek evidently 
 to attract your attention. It is unfeminine, and 
 proves that there is something wanting to make 
 up the perfect woman. In retiring modesty you 
 will be far more apt to find the virtues after 
 which you are seeking. A brilliant belle may 
 make a loving, faithful wife and mother ; but the 
 chances are somewhat against her, and a prudent 
 
MARRIAGE. 
 
 249 
 
 young man will satisfy himself well by a close 
 observation of her in private and domestic life, 
 before he makes up his mind to offer her his hand. 
 
 But the most we can do, and what we mainly 
 wish to do, in giving precepts for the choice of a 
 wife, has already been done ; and that is, to im- 
 press upon young men the necessity of acting 
 from right ends. If these be pure, there will be 
 little danger of a mistake. If they be not pure, 
 all particular directions how to choose a wife 
 will be in vain. 
 
 Marriage itself is a religious rite, instituted 
 by Heaven, and, as such, should always be solem- 
 nized by a minister or priest, and not, as a civil 
 rite, by a magistrate. It is the first law of hu- 
 man existence, and has its date anterior to any 
 civil institutions whatever. 
 
 To some extent there prevails a disposition to 
 regard marriage as an evil, by those who do not 
 understand its true nature, and who look at the 
 unhappy results that too often flow from it as 
 effects of the institution itself, instead of the 
 abuses. Others, again, speak lightly of the mat- 
 ter, and compare marriage to a lottery, with few 
 prizes and many blanks, and say that the gaining 
 of a prize is always a matter of chance. But the 
 evils and chances all lie in the perverse and self- 
 ish ends that govern men in their choice of 
 
250 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 wives. Let these be corrected, and the whole 
 matter will present a different and brighter 
 aspect. 
 
 To the question often asked of young men as 
 t.o why they do not marry, we sometimes hear the 
 reply, “ I am not able to support a wife.” In 
 one case in three, perhaps, this may be so ; but 
 as a general thing, the true reply would be, “ I 
 am not able to support the style in which I think 
 my wife ought to live.” In this, again, we see a 
 false view of marriage ; a looking to an appear- 
 ance in the world, instead of a union with a lov- 
 ing woman for her own sake. There are verj 
 few men, of industrious habits, who cannot main- 
 tain a wife, if they are willing to live economically, 
 and without reference to the false opinions of the 
 world. The great evil is, that young couples 
 are not content to begin life humbly, to retire 
 together into an obscure position, and together 
 work their way in the world — he by industry in 
 his calling, and she by dispensing with prudence 
 the money that he earns. But they must stand 
 out and attract the attention of others by their 
 fine house, fine furniture, and fine clothes, even 
 if debt be incurred, in order to maintain this silly 
 show. As a general thing, we find these men, 
 who do not think themselves able to support a 
 wife, always affected with the same disability 
 
MARRIAGE. 
 
 251 
 
 Although an aivocate for early marriages, yet 
 we are no advocate for the dashing out which so 
 often attends them. Even a married couple may 
 save money on a small income, and yet live com- 
 fortably enough if their pride be not too active ; 
 and the economical habits thus cultivated will 
 lay the foundation for success which would have 
 been sought for in vain, had the young man spent 
 all, or nearly all, he earned for four or five years 
 waiting until he got able to marry. In regard to 
 an increase of family, our observation satisfies us, 
 if we looked no further, that increased means 
 will always be the consequences. He who sends 
 children will help you to take care of them, if 
 you put yourself in the way of being helped. 
 
 A married man, if he have right views, will 
 always proceed with more caution than a single 
 roan, because more depends upon him; and this is 
 a good reason why he is more certain to advance 
 in the world steadily, if it be slowly. 
 
 In regard to early marriages, this may be safely 
 said. If an engagement have been formed, and 
 both parties are willing to live strictly within the 
 limits of the young man’s income, and if he, or 
 they between them, have sufficient money to meet 
 all the expenses consequent upon marriage, and, 
 moreover, if there be a prospect of the continu 
 
252 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNb 
 
 ance of his income, let them mairy, i»ay we. 3 
 will be better for them. 
 
 As the natural result of marriage is offspring, 
 and as children inherit from their parents pro- 
 pensities to either good or evil, the same as they 
 inherit physically a tendency to disease or health, 
 the subject assumes a still more serious aspect 
 than any we have ye<. given it, and exhibits the 
 responsibilities and duties of married partners in 
 a still stronger light. Parents love their children, 
 and seek their good in various ways. They deny 
 themselves many comforts, they toil early and 
 late, and will sometimes risk even life itself for 
 their children. The evil tendencies which show 
 themselves almost as soon as the mind moves in 
 its first activities, cause them deep grief ; for 
 they know that such tendencies, if indulged, will 
 produce unhappiness, and they strive anxiously to 
 repress them, but find the task a difficult and al- 
 most impossible one. The error of the parents 
 lies in the fact, that they have commenced the 
 work of reform too late. “ Too late,” we hear 
 asked, “ when it is commenced as soon as the 
 infant mind moves in its first activities ? ” Yes, 
 it is too late ; and all that can now be done, will 
 be to repress the evils as they show themselves, 
 and strive, at the same time, to implant opposite 
 good principles, by means of which, when these 
 
ivTARKIAGE. 
 
 253 
 
 children become men and women, they may con- 
 tend with, and, if they will, overcome, the evils 
 which they had derived from their parents. 
 
 This subject, of the hereditary transmission of 
 good or evil qualities of mind, is one to which 
 but Tittle attention has been paid ; and yet it is a 
 matter of great moment. Whatever a man does 
 from principle and a confirmed habit, be it good 
 or evil, orderly or disorderly, that he transmits to 
 his children in a tendency to do the same thing. 
 A man who does not think it wrong to overreach 
 his neighbor in bargaining, must not be surprised 
 if he discover in his son a tendency to steal, 
 which he tries in vain to correct ; nor he who 
 has no regard for truth, wonder why his son 
 should prove a liar. If the father and mother 
 are disorderly in their habits, or passionate, or 
 envious of their neighbors, how is it possible for 
 their children to be otherwise, when the natural 
 and invariable law that “like produces like” is 
 considered 1 
 
 Why we said the work of reform was com- 
 menced too late by parents, may now be clearly 
 seen. We must fight the evils and disorders by 
 which the human race is cursed, in our own 
 hearts, if we would truly overcome them in our 
 children. If this be not done, the task of cor- 
 recting their evils will be a painful and difficult, 
 
254 
 
 ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 if not an almost impossible, one. If we shun the 
 evil of overreaching our neighbor, because it is 
 evil ; if falsehood be avoided, and held in abhor- 
 rence; if we resist evil tendencies of every kind, 
 — we will do more for our children than if we 
 were to amass for them wealth equal to that of 
 Croesus. 
 
 True love of offspring will prompt to the sac- 
 rifice of evil love of all kinds, and the strength- 
 ening of good principles as rules of action in the 
 mind of every parent. 
 
 To a young man who thinks seriously of mar- 
 riage, this subject ought to be one of grave con- 
 sideration. If he would not entail a curse upon 
 his children, let him examine himself well, and 
 begin at once the correction of every evil habit 
 and propensity. If he do not do so, the time may 
 come, when, like David of old, he will exclaim, 
 “ O Absalom ! my son ! my son ! Would God 
 I had died in thy stead ! ” 
 
CONCLUSION. 
 
 
 CHAPTER XXIII. 
 
 CONCLUSION. 
 
 The reading of a book like this will do a 
 young man but little good, if he throw it down 
 without seriously reflecting upon its contents. 
 He must consider the truths it teaches as truths 
 for his guidance, as well as for the guidance of 
 others. The views here taken of life are too im- 
 portant to be lightly passed by. They are of 
 vital interest both to the individual and the 
 community. The elevation and regeneration of 
 society depend mainly upon the reception of right 
 views by the young. Those who have attained 
 to some age, from feeling the consequences of 
 their own ignorance and errors in the outset of 
 life, can give wiser precepts to the young than 
 they themselves received when they stepped 
 boldly forth, proud in their new-felt freedom 
 and power. There will always be some ready to 
 listen to and act upon these precepts, and they 
 will elevate the standard of right feeling and 
 acting in their generation. The greater the 
 number of those who act from these wiser pre- 
 
256 
 
 ADVICE TO YOTJNG MEN. 
 
 cepts, the more decided will be their influence, 
 and the higher, in consequence, will rise the 
 generation to which they belong. Thus will 
 society advance towards perfection with a slow 
 but certain progress. 
 
 From this view every young man can see how 
 great is the responsibility resting ijpon him as an 
 individual. If he commence with right principles 
 as his guide, — that is, if in every action he have 
 regard to the good of the whole, as well as to his 
 own good, — he will not only secure his own well- 
 being, but aid in the general advancement to- 
 wards a state of order. But if he disregard all 
 the precepts of experience and reason, and follow 
 only the impulses of his appetites and passions, 
 he will retard the general return to true order, 
 and secure for himself that unhappiness in the 
 future which is the invariable consequence of ail 
 violations of natural or divine laws.