\*4* 9.-X& '% ■"*. L I B R.ARY OF THL U N I VERS IT Y Of ILLINOIS V8Ko Digitized by the Internet Archive in 2010 with funding from University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign http://www.archive.org/details/hopesfearsorscen01yong HOPES AND FEAES ; SCENES FROM THE LIFE OF A SPINSTER. HOPES MD FEAES; OK, SCENES FROM THE LIFE OF A SPINSTER. BY THE AUTHOR OF 'THE HEIR OF REDCLYFFE,' ' HEARTSEASE » ETC. This is the calm of the autumnal eve. The Baptistebt. IN T¥0 VOLUilES. VOL. I. LONDON: JOHN W. PARKER AND SON, WEST STRAND. i860. \The right of Translation it reserved.'] LONDON : SATI1L AND EDWABDS, PBINTEBS, CHaXDOS stkeet. Kj s HOPES AND FEARS, PART I. o 2 ^> CHAPTER I. ."^ Who ought to go then and who ought to stay? Where do you draw an obvious border line ? — Cecil and Mary. dJf/jP^teiMONG the numerous steeples counted i'flw f rom the waters of the Thames, in the heart of the City, and grudged by modern economy as cumberers of the soil of Mammon, may be remarked an abortive little dingy cupola, surmounting two large round eyes which have evi- dently stared over the adjacent roofs ever since the Fire that began at Pie Corner and ended in Pudding Lane. Strange that the like should have been esteemed the highest walk of architecture, and yet Honora Charle- cote well remembered the days when St. Wulstan's was her boast, so large, so clean, so light, so Grecian, so far surpassing damp old Hiltonbury Church. That was at an age when her enthusiasm found indiscriminate food in whatever had a hold upon her affections, the nearer her heart being of course the more admirable in itself, and it would be difficult to say which she loved the most ardently, her city home in Woolstone-lane, or Hiltonbury Holt, the old family seat, where her father was a welcome guest whenever his constitution re- VOL. I. b 2 HOPES AND FEARS. quired relaxation from the severe toils of a London rector. Woolstone-lane was a locality that sorely tried the coachmen of Mrs. Charlecote's West-end connexions, situate as it was on the very banks of the Thames, and containing little save offices and warehouses, in the midst of which stood Honora's home. It was not the rectory, but had been inherited from City relations, and it antedated the Fire, so that it was one of the most perfect remnants of the glories of the merchant princes of ancient London. It had a court to itself, shut in by high walls, and paved with round-headed stones, with gangways of flags in mercy to the feet ; the front was faced with hewn squares after the pattern of Somerset House, with the like ponderous sashes, and on a smaller scale, the Louis XIY. pediment, apparently designed for the nesting-place of swallows and sparrows. Within was a hall, pannelled with fragrant softly-tinted cedar wood, festooned with ex- quisite garlands of fruit and flowers, carved by Gibbons himself, with all his peculiarities of rounded form and delicate edge. The staircase and floor were of white stone, tinted on sunny days with reflections from the windows' three medallions of yellow and white glass, where Solomon, in golden mantle and crowned turban, commanded the division of a stout lusty child hanging by one leg ; superintended the erection of a temple worthy of Haarlem ; or graciously welcomed a recoil- ing stumpy Vrow of a Queen of Sheba, with golden hair all down her back. The river aspect of the house had come to perfection at the Elizabethan period, and was sculptured in every available nook with the chevron and three arrows of the Fletchers' Company, and a merchant's mark, like a figure of four with a curly tail. Here were the oriel windows of the best rooms, looking out on a grass plat, small enough in country eyes, but most extensive for the situation, with straight gravelled walks, and low lilac and laburnum trees, that came into profuse HOPES AND FEARS. 3 "blossom long before their country cousins, but which, like the crocuses and snowdrops of the flower borders, had better be looked at than touched by such as dreaded sooty fingers. These shrubs veiled the garden from the great river thoroughfare, to which it sloped down, still showing traces of the handsome stone steps and balustrade that once had formed the access of the gold-chained alderman to his sumptuous barge. Along those paths paced, book in hand, a tall, well- grown maiden, of good straight features, and clear, pale skin, with eyes and rich luxuriant hair of the same colour, a peculiarly bright shade of auburn, such as painters of old had loved, and Owen Sandbrook called golden, while Hurnfrey Charlecote would declare he was always glad to see Honor's carrots. Alore than thirty years ago, personal teaching at a London parish school or personal visiting of the poor was less common than at present, but Honora had been bred up to be helpful, and she had newly come in from a diligent afternoon of looking at the needlework, and hearing Crossman's Catechism, and Sellon's abridge- ment from a demurely dressed race of little girls in tall white caps, bibs and tuckers, and very stout indigo blue frocks. She had been working hard at the en- deavour to make the little Cockneys, who had never seen a single ear of wheat, enter into Joseph's dreams, and was rather weary of their town sharpness coupled with their indifference and want of imagination, where any nature, save human nature, was concerned. 'I will bring an ear of Hiltonbury wheat home with me — some of the best girls shall see me sow it, and I will take them to watch it growing up — the blade, the ear, the full corn in the ear — poor dears, if they only had a Hiltonbury to give them some tastes that are not all for this hot, busy, eager world ! If I could only see one with her lap full of blue bells ; but though in this land of Cockaigne of ours, one does not actually pick up gold and silver, I am afraid they are our flowers, and the only ones we esteem worth the picking; b2 4 HOPES AND FEARS. and like old Mr. Sandbrook, we neither understand nor esteem those whose aims are otherwise ! Oh ! Owen, Owen, may you only not be withheld from your glorious career ! May you show this hard, money- getting world that you do really, as well as only in word, esteem one soul to be reclaimed above all the wealth that can be laid at your feet ! The nephew and heir of the great Firm voluntarily surrendering consideration, ease, riches, unbounded luxury for the sake of the heathen — choosing a wigwam instead of a West End palace ; parched maize rather than the banquet; the backwoods instead of the luxurious park; the Red Indian rather than the club and the theatre ; to be a despised minister rather than a magnate of this great city ; nay, or to take his place among the influ- ential men of the land. What has this worn, weary old civilization to offer like the joy of sitting beneath one of the glorious aspiring pines of America, gazing out on the blue waters of her limpid inland seas, in her fresh pure air, with the simple children of the forest round him, their princely forms in attitudes of attention, their dark soft liquid eyes fixed upon him, as he tells them ' Your Great Spirit, Him whom ye ignorantly worship, Him declare I unto you,' and then, some glorious old chief bows his stately head, and throws aside his marks of superstition. ' I believe,' he says, and the hearts of all bend with him ; and Owen leads them to the lake, and baptizes them, and it is another St. Sacrament ! Oh ! that is what it is to have noble- ness enough truly to overcome the world, truly to turn one's back upon pleasures and honours — what are they to such as this V So mused Honora Charlecote, and then ran indoors, w r ith bounding step, to her Schiller, and her hero- worship of Max Piccolomini, to write notes for her mother, and practise for her father the song that was to refresh him for the evening. Nothing remarkable! ~No; there was nothing re- markable in Honor, she was neither more nor less than HOPES AND FEARS. 5 an average woman of the higher type. Refinement and gentleness, a strong appreciation of excellence, and a love of duty, had all been brought out by an admirable education, and by a home devoted to unselfish exertion, varied by intellectual pleasures. Other influences — de- cidedly traceable in her musings — had shaped her prin- ciples and enthusiasms on those of an ardent Oxonian of the early years of William IV. ; and so bred up, so led by circumstances, Honora, with her abilities, high cultivation, and tolerable sense, was a fair specimen of what any young lady might be, appearing perhaps somewhat in advance of her contemporaries, but rather from her training than from intrinsic force of character. The qualities of womanhood well developed, were so entirely the staple of her composition, that there is little to describe in her. Was not she one made to learn ; to lean ; to admire ; to support ; to enhance every joy; to soften every sorrow of the object of her devotion 1 Another picture from Honora Charlecote's life. It is about half after six, on a bright autumnal morning ; and, rising nearly due east, out of a dark pine-crowned hill, the sun casts his slanting beams over an undulat- ing country, clothed in grey mist of tints differing with the distance, the farther hills confounded with the sky, the nearer dimly traced in purple, and the valleys between indicated by the whiter, woollier vapours that rise from their streams, a goodly land of fertile field and rich wood, cradled on the bosoms of those soft hills. Nestled among the woods, clothing its hollows on almost every side, rises a low hill, with a species of table land on the top, scattered over with large thorns and scraggy oaks that cast their shadows over the pale buff bents of the short soft grass of the gravelly soil. Looking southward is a low, irregular, oldfashioned house, with two tall gable ends like eyebrows, and the lesser gable of a porch between them, all covered with large chequers of black timber, filled up with cream- 6 HOPES AND FEAES. coloured cement. A straight path leads from the porch between beds of scarlet geraniums, their luxuriant horse-shoe leaves weighed down with wet, and china asters, a drop in every quilling, to an oldfashioned sundial, and beside that dial stands Honora Charlecote, gazing joyously out on the bright morning, and trying for the hundredth time to make the shadow of that green old finger point to the same figure as the hand of her watch. 'Oh! down, down, there's a good dog, Fly; you'll knock me down! Vixen, poor little doggie, pray! Look at your paws,' as a blue greyhound and rough black terrier came springing joyously upon her, brush- ing away the silver dew from the shaven lawn. ' Down, down, lie down, dogs !' and with an obstre- perous bound, Fly flew to the new comer, a young man in the robust strength of eight-and-twenty, of stalwart frame, very broad in the chest and shoulders, careless, homely, though perfectly gentlemanlike bearing, and hale, hearty, sunburnt face. It was such a look and such an arm as would win the most timid to his side in certainty of tenderness and protection, and the fond voice gave the same sense of power and of kindness, as he called out ' Holloa, Honor, there you are ! Not given up the old fashion V ' Not till you give me up, Humfrey,' she said, as she eagerly laid her neatly gloved fiugers in the grasp of the great, broad, horny palm, ' or at least till you take your gun.' ' So you are not grown wiser V 1 Nor ever will be.' 1 Every woman ought to learn to saddle a horse and fire off a gun.' ' Yes, against the civil war squires are always ex- pecting. You shall teach me when the time comes.' 1 You'll never see that time, nor any other, if you go out in those thin boots. I'll fetch Sarah's clogs; I suppose you have not a reasonable pair in the world.' ' My boots are quite thick, thank you.' HOPES AND FEARS. 7 1 Brown paper !' And indeed they were a contrast to his mighrty nailed soles, and long, nntanned buskins, nor did they greatly resemble the heavy, country-made galoshes which, with an elder brother's authority, he forced her to put on, observing that nothing so com- pletely evinced the Londoner as her obstinacy in never having a pair of shoes that could keep anything out. 1 And where are you going f 'To Hay ward's farm. Is that too far for you? He wants an abatement of his rent for some improvements, and I want to judge what they may be worth.' I Hayward's — oh, not a bit too far !' and holding up her skirts, she picked her way as daintily as her weighty chaussure would permit, along the narrow green foot- way that crossed the expanse of dewy turf in which the dogs careered, getting their noses covered with flakes of thick gossamer, cemented together by dew. Fly scraped it off with a delicate forepaw, Yixen rolled over, and doubly entangled it in her rugged coat. Humfrey Charlecote strode on before his companion with his hands in his pockets, and beginning to whistle, but pausing to observe, over his shoulder, ' A sweet day for getting up the roots ! You're not getting wet, I hope 1 ?' I I couldn't through this rhinoceros hide, thank you. How exquisitely the mist is curling up, and showing the church-spire in the valley.' I And I suppose you have been reading all manner of books?' I I think the best was a great history of France.' ' France P he repeated in a contemptuous John Bull tone. ' Ay, don't be disdainful j France was the centre of chivalry in the old time.' 1 Better have been the centre of honesty.' 1 And so it was in the time of St. Louis and his crusade. Do you know it, Humfrey?' 'Eh?' That was full permission. Ever since Honora had 8 HOPES AND FEAKS. been able to combine a narration, Humfrey had been the recipient, though she seldom knew whether he attended, and from her babyhood upwards had been quite contented with trotting in the wake of his long strides, pouring out her ardent fancies, now and then getting an answer, but more often going on like a little singing bird, through the midst of his avocations, and quite complacent under his interruptions of calls to his dogs, directions to his labourers, and warnings to her to mind her feet and not her chatter. In the full stream of crusaders, he led her down one of the multi- tude of by-paths cleared out in the hazel coppice for sporting; here leading up a rising ground whence the tops of the trees might be overlooked, some necked with gold, some blushing into crimson, and beyond them the needle point of the village spire, the vane flashing back the sun ; there bending into a ravine, marshy at the bottom, and nourishing the lady fern, then again crossing glades, where the rabbits darted across the path, and the battle of Damietta was broken into by stern orders to Fly to come to heel, and the eating of the nuts which Humfrey pulled down from the branches, and held up to his cousin with superior good nature. ' A Mameluke rushed in with a scimitar streaming with blood, and ' ' Take care ; do you want help over this fence V 1 Not I, thank you — And said he had just murdered the king ' * Vic ! ah ! take your nose out of that. Here was a crop, Nora.' ' What was it?' 'You don't mean that you don't know wheat stubble ? ' ' I remember it was to be wheat.' 1 Red wheat, the finest we ever had in this land; not a bit beaten down, and the colour perfectly beautiful before harvest ; it used to put me in mind of your hair. A load to the acre ; a fair specimen of the effect of HOPES AND FEARS. 9 drainage. Do you remember what a swamp it was?' 1 1 remember the beautiful loose-strifes that used to grow in that corner.' 1 Ah ! we have made an end of that trumpery.' ' You savage old Humfrey — beauties that they were.' 1 What had they to do with my cornfields ? A place for everything and everything in its place — French kings and all. What was this one doing wool gather- ing in Egypt \ ' 'Don't you understand, it had become the point for the blow at the Saracen power. Where was 1 1 Oh, the Mameluke justified the murder, and wanted St. Louis to be king, but ' I Ha ! a fine covey, I only miss two out of them. These carrots, how their leaves are turned — that ought not to be.' Honora could not believe that anything ought not to be that was as beautiful as the varied rosy tints of the hectic beauty of the exquisitely shaped and delicately pinked foliage of the field carrots, and with her cousin's assistance she soon had a large bouquet where no two leaves were alike, their hues ranging from the deepest purple or crimson to the palest yellow, or clear scarlet, like seaweed, through every intermediate variety of purple edged with green, green picked out with red or yellow, or vice versd, in never ending brilliancy, such as Humfrey almost seemed to appre- ciate, as he said, ' Well, you have something as pretty as your weeds, eh, Honor V I I can't quite give up mourning for my dear long purples.' 1 All very well by the river, but there's no beauty in things out of place, like your Louis in Egypt — well, what was the end of this predicament V So Humfrey had really heard, and been interested ! With such encouragement, Honora proceeded swim- mingly, and had nearly arrived at her hero's ransom, through nearly a mile of field paths, only occasionally in- 10 HOPES AND FEARS. terrupted by grunts from her auditor at farming not like his own, when crossing a narrow foot bridge across a clear stream, they stood before a farm-house, timbered and chimneyed much like the Holt, but with new sashes displacing the old lattice. ' Oh ! Humfrey, how could you bring me to see such havoc 1 I never suspected you would allow it.' 'It was without asking leave; an attention to his bride ; and now they want an abatement for improve- ments ! Whew ! ' ' You should fine him for the damage he has done ! ' I can't be hard on him, he is more or less of an ass, and a good sort of fellow, very good to his labourers ; he drove Jem Hurd to the infirmary himself, when he broke his arm. No, he is not a man to be hard upon.' ' You can't be hard on any one. Now that window really irritates my mind.' ' Now Sarah walked down to call on the bride, and came home full of admiration at the place being so lightsome and cheerful. Which of you two ladies am I to believe V 1 You ought to make it a duty to improve the general taste ! Why don't you build a model farm-house, and let me make the design V 1 Ay, when I want one that nobody can live in. Come, it will be breakfast time.' ' Are not you going to have an interview 1 ' 1 No, I only wanted to take a survey of the altera- tions ; two windows, smart door, iron fence, pulled down old barn, talks of another. Hm !' ' So he will get his reduction 1 ' 1 If he builds the barn. I shall try to see his wife, she has not been brought up to farming, and whether they get on or not, all depends on the way she may take it up. What are you looking at 1 ' 1 That lovely wreath of Traveller's Joy.' ' Do you want it ¥ 1 No, thank you, it is too beautiful where it is.' HOPES AXD FEARS. 11 * There is a piece, going from tree to tree, by the Hiltonbuiy Gate, as thick as my arm ; I just saved it when "West was going to cut it down with the copse wood.' 'Well, you really are improving at last !' 1 1 thought you would never let me hear the last of it, besides there was a thrush's nest in it.' By and by the cousins arrived at a field where Humfrey's portly short horns were coming forth after their milking, under the pilotage of an old white- headed man, bent nearly double, uncovering his head as the squire touched his hat in response, and shouted, ' Good morning.' ' If you please, sir,' said the old man, trying to erect himself, ' I wanted to speak to you.' 'Well.' e If you please, sir, chimney smokes so as a body can scarce bide in the house, and the blacks come down terrible.' 'Wants sweeping,' roared Humfrey, into his deaf ears. ' Have swep it, sir ; old woman's been up with her broom.' ' Old woman hasn't been high enough. Send Jack up outside with a rope and a bunch of furze, and let her stand at bottom.' ' That's it, sir !' cried the old man, with a triumphant snap of the fingers over his shoulder. ' Thank ye !' ' Here's Miss Honor, John ;' and Honora came for- ward, her gravity somewhat shaken by the domestic offices of the old woman. 'I'm glad to see you still able to bring out the cows, John. Here's my favourite Daisy as tame as ever.' ' Anan !' and he looked at his master for explanation from the stronger and more familiar voice. ' I be deaf, you see, ma'am.' 1 Miss Honor i3 glad to see Daisy as tame as ever,* shouted Humfrey. 12 HOPES AND FEARS. 'Ay! ay!' maundered on the old man; 'she ain't done no good of late, and Mr. West and I — us wanted to have fatted her this winter, but the squire, he wouldn't hear on it, because Miss Honor was such a terrible one for her. Says I, when I hears 'em say so, we shall have another dinner on the la-an, and the last was when the old squire was married, thirty-live years ago, come Michaelmas.' Honora was much disposed to laugh at this freak of the old man's fancy, but to her surprise Humfrey coloured up, and looked so much out of countenance that a question darted through her mind whether he could have any such step in contemplation, and she began to review the young ladies of the neighbourhood, and to decide on each in turn that it would be intoler- able to see her as Humfrey 's wife ; more at home at the Holt than herself. She had ample time for con- templation, for he had become very silent, and once or twice the presumptuous idea crossed her that he might be actually about to make her some confidence, but when he at length spoke, very near the house, it was only to say, ' Honor, I wanted to ask you if you think your father would wish me to ask young Sandbrook here 1 ?' ' Oh ! thank you, I am sure he would be glad. You know poor Owen has nowhere to go, since his uncle has behaved so shamefully.' ' It must have been a great mortification ' ' To Owen 1 Of course it was, to be so cast off for his noble purpose.' ' I was thinking of old Mr. Sandbrook ' ' Old wretch ! I've no patience with him ! ' ' Just as he has brought this nephew up and hopes to make him useful, and rest some of his cares upon him in his old age, to find him flying off upon this fresh course, and disappointing all his hopes.' ' But it is such a high and grand course, he ought to have rejoiced in it, and Owen is not his son.' ' A man of his age, brought up as he has been, can hardly be expected to enter into Owen's views.' HOPES AND FEARS. ]3 ' Of course not. It is all sordid and mean, he cannot even understand the missionary spirit of resign- ing all. As Owen says, half the Scripture must be hyperbole to him, and so he is beginning Owen's per- secution already.' It was one of Humfrey's provoking qualities that no amount of eloquence would ever draw a word of condemnation from him, he would praise readily enough, but censure was very rare with him, and extenuation was always his first impulse, so the more Honora railed at Mr. Sandbrook's interference with his nephew's plans, the less satisfaction she received from him. She seemed to think that in order to admire Owen as he deserved, his uncle must be pro- portionably reviled, and though Humfrey did not imply a word save in commendation of the young missionary's devotion, she went in-doors feeling almost injured at his not understanding it ; but Honora's petulance was a very bright, sunny piquancy, and she only appeared the more glowing and animated for it ■when she presented herself at the breakfast table, with a preposterous country appetite. Afterwards she filled a vase very tastefully with her varieties of leaves, and enjoyed taking in her cousin Sarah, who admired the leaves greatly while she thought they came from Mrs. Mervyn's hot-house ; but when she found they were the product of her own furrows, voted them coarse, ugly, withered things, such as only the simplicity of a Londoner could bring into civilized society. So Honora stood over her gorgeous feathery bouquet, not knowing whether to laugh or to be scornful, till Humfrey, taking up the vase, inquired, ' May I have it for my study V 1 Oh ! yes, and welcome,' said Honora, laughing, and shaking her glowing tresses at him ; 'I am thankful to any one who stands up for carrots.' Good-natured Humfrey, thought she, it is all that I may not be mortified; but after all it is not those very good-natured people who best appreciate lofty 14 HOPES AND FEARS. actions. He is inviting Owen Sandbrook more because he thinks it would please papa, and because he com- passionates him in his solitary lodgings, than because he feels the force of his glorious self-sacrifice. The northern slope of the Holt was clothed with fir plantations, intersected with narrow paths, which gave admission to the depths of their lonely woodland palace, supported on rudely straight columns, dark save for the snowy exuding gum, roofed in by aspiring beam- like arms, bearing aloft their long tufts of dark blue green foliage, floored by the smooth, slippery, russet needle leaves as they fell, and perfumed by the peculiar fresh smell of turpentine. It was a still and lonely place, the very sounds making the silence more audible (if such an expression may be used), the wind whispering like the rippling waves of the sea in the tops of the pines, here and there the cry of a bird, or far, far away, the tinkle of the sheep bell, or the tone of the church clock, and of movement there was almost as little, only the huge horse ants soberly wending along their' high- ways to their tall hillock thatched with pine leaves, or the squirrel in the ruddy, russet livery of the scene, racing from tree to tree, or sitting up with his feathery tail erect to extract with his delicate paws the seed from the base of the fir cone scale. Squirrels there lived to a good old age, till their plumy tails had turned white, for the squire's one fault in the eyes of keepers and gardeners was that he was soft-hearted towards ' the varmint.' A Canadian forest on a small scale, an extremely miniature scale indeed, but still Canadian forests are of pine, and the Holt plantation was fir, and firs were pines, and it was a lonely musing place, and so on one of the stillest, clearest days of ' St. Luke's little summer,' the last afternoon of her visit at the Holt, there stood Honora, leaning against a tree stem, deep, deep, very deep in a vision of the primeval woodlands of the West, their red inhabitants, and the white man HOPES AND FEARS. 15 who should carry the true, glad tidiugs westward, westward, ever from east to west. Did she know how completely her whole spirit and soul were surrendered to the worship of that devotion 1 Worship ? Yes, the word is advisedly used ; Honora had once given her spirit in homage to Schiller's self-sacrificing Max, the same heart-whole veneration was now rendered to the young missionary, multiplied tenfold by the hero being in a tangible, visible shape, and not by any means inclined to thwart or disdain the allegiance of the golden-haired girl. Nay, as family connexions frequently meeting, they had acted upon each other's minds more than either knew, even when the hour of parting had come, and words had been spoken which gave Honora something more to cherish in the image of Owen Sandbrook than even the hero and saint. There then she stood and dreamt, pensive and saddened indeed, but with a melancholy trenching very nearly on happiness in the intensity of its admiration, and the vague ennobling future of devoted usefulness in which her heart already claimed to share, as her person might in some far away period on which she could not dwell. A sound approached, a firm footstep, falling with strong elasticity and such regular cadences, that it seemed to chime in with the pine-tree music, and did not startle her till it came so near that there was dis- tinctive character to be discerned in the tread, and then with a strange, new shyness, she would have slipped away, but she had been seen, and Humfrey, with his timber race in his hand, appeared on the path, exclaim- ing, ' Ah, Honor, is it you come out to meet me, like old times ? You have been so much taken up with your friend Master Owen that I have scarcely seen you of late.' Honor did not move away, but she blushed deeply as she said, ' I am afraid I did not come to meet you, Humfrey.' 1 No 1 What, you came for the sake of a brown 16 HOPES AND FEARS. study? I wish I had known you were not busy, for I have been round all the woods marking timber.' ' Ah !' said she, rousing herself with some effort, ' I wonder how many trees I should have saved from the slaughter. Did you go and condemn any of my pets?' ' Not that I know of,' said Humfrey. ' I have touched nothing near the house.' 1 Not even the old beech that was scathed with lightning 1 You know papa says that is the touch- stone of influence ; Sarah and Mr. West both against me,' laughed Honora, quite restored to her natural manner and confiding ease. ' The beech is likely to stand as long as you wish it,' said Humfrey, with an unaccustomed sort of matter-of- fact gravity, which surprised and startled her, so as to make her bethink herself whether she could have behaved ill about it, been saucy to Sarah, or the like. ' Thank you,' she said ; ' have I made a fuss V 'No, Honor,' he said, with deliberate kindness, shutting u}} his knife, and putting it into his pocket ; 1 only I believe it is time we should come to an under- standing.' More than ever did she expect one of his kind re- monstrances, and she looked up at him in expectation, and ready for defence, but his broad, sunburnt coun- tenance looked marvellously heated, and he paused ere he spoke. ' I find I can't spare you, Honora, you had better stay at the Holt for good.' Her cheeks flamed, and her heart galloped, but she could not let herself under- stand. ' Honor, you are old enough now, and I do not think you need fear. It is almost your home already, and I believe I can make you happy, with the blessing of God ' He paused, but as she could not frame an answer in her consternation, continued, ' Perhaps I should not have spoken so suddenly, but I thought you would not mind me ; I should like to have had one HOPES AND FEARS. 17 word from my little Honor before I go to your father, but don't if you had rather not.' ' O don't go to papa, please don't,' she cried, ' it would only make him sorry.' Humfrey stood as if under an unexpected shock. ' Oh ! how came you to think of it V she said in her distress ; ' I never did, and it can never be — I am so sorry !' 1 Very well, my dear, do not grieve about it,' said Humfrey, only bent on soothing her ; ' I dare say you are quite right, you are used to people in London much more suitable to you than a stupid, homely fellow like me, and it was a foolish fancy to think it might be otherwise. Don't cry, Honor dear, I can't bear that !' 1 O Humfrey, only understand, please ! You are the very dearest person in the world to me after papa and mamma ; and as to fine London people, oh no, in- deed ! But ' 'It is Owen Sandbrook ; I understand,' said Hum- frey, gravely. She made no denial. 1 But Honor,' he anxiously exclaimed, ' you are not going out in this wild way among the backwoods, it would break your mother s heart ; and he is not fit to take care of you. I mean he cannot think of it now.' ' no, no, I could not leave papa and mamma ; but some time or other ' 1 Is this arranged ? Does your father know it V 1 Humfrey, of course !' 1 Then it is an engagement V 1 No,' said Honora, sadly ; ' papa said I was too young, and he wished I had heard nothing about it. We are to go on as if nothing had happened, and I know they think we shall forget all about it ! As if we could ! Not that I wish it to be different. I know it would be wicked to desert papa and mamma while she is so unwell. The truth is, Humfrey,' and her voice sank, ' that it cannot be while they live' VOL. i. o 18 HOPES AND EEAES. ' My poor little Honor !' lie said, in a tone of the most unselfish compassion. She had entirely forgotten his novel aspect, and only thought of him as the kindest friend to whom she could open her heart. ' Don't pity me,' she said in exultation ; ' think what it is to be his choice. Would I have him give up his aims, and settle down in the loveliest village in Eng- land 1 No, indeed, for then it would not be Owen ! I am happier in the thought of him than I could be with everything present to eDJoy.' 1 1 hope you will continue to find it so/ he said, re- pressing a sigh. ' I should be ashamed of myself if I did not,' she continued with glistening eyes. ' Should not I have patience to wait while he is at his real glorious labour % And as to home, that's not altered, only better and brighter for the definite hope and aim that will go through everything, and make me feel all I do a pre- paration.' ' Yes, you know him well,' said Humfrey ; 'you saw him constantly when he was at Westminster.' ' yes, and always ! Why, Humfrey, it is my great glory and pleasure to feel that he formed me ! When he went to Oxford, he brought me home all the thoughts that have been my better life. All my dearest books we read together, and what used to look dry and cold, gained light and life after he touched it.' ' Yes, I see.' His tone reminded her of what had passed, and she said, timidly, ' I forgot ! I ought not ! I have vexed you, Humfrey.' ' No,' he said, in his full tender voice ; ' I see that it was vain to think of competing with one of so much higher claims. If he goes on in the course he has chosen, yours will have been a noble choice, Honor ; and I believe,' he added, with a sweetness of smile that almost made her forgive the if, ( that you are one to be- HOPES AND FEARS. 19 better pleased so than with more ordinary happiness. I have no doubt it is all right.' ' Dear Humfrey, you are so good !' she said, struck with his kind resignation, and utter absence of acerbity in his disappointment. 1 Forget this, Honora,' he said, as they were coming to the end of the pine wood ; ' let us be as we were before.' Honora gladly promised, and excepting for her wonder at such a step on the part of the cousin whose plaything and pet she had hitherto been, she had no temptation to change her manner. She loved him as much as ever, but only as a kind elder brother, and she was glad hat he was wise enough to see his immeasur- able inferiority to the young missionary. It was a wonderful thing, and she was sorry for his disappoint- ment ; but after all, he took it so quietly that she did not think it could have hurt him much. It was only that he wanted to keep his pet in the country. He was not capable of love like Owen Sandbrook's. * Years passed on. Rumour had bestowed Mr. Charle- cote of Hiltonbury on every lady within twenty miles, but still in vain. His mother was dead, his sister married to an old college fellow, who had waited half a life time for a living, but still he kept house alone. And open house it was, with a dinner table ever expanding for chance guests, strawberry or syllabub feasts half the summer, and Christmas feasts extending wide on either side of the twelve days. Every one who wanted a holiday was free of the Holt ; young sportsmen tried their inexperienced guns under the squire's patient eye; and mammas disposed of their children for weeks together, to enjoy the run of the house and garden, and rides according to age, on pony, donkey, or Mr. Charlecote. No festivity in the neigh- bourhood was complete without his sunshiny presence; he was wanted wherever there was any family event ; c2 20 HOPES AND FEARS. and was godfather, guardian, friend, and adviser of all. Every one looked on him as a sort of exclusive property, yet he had room in his heart for all. As a magistrate, he was equally indispensable in county government, and a charity must be undeserving indeed that had not Humfrey Charlecote, Esq., on the com- mittee. In his own parish he was a beneficent mo- narch ; on his own estate a mighty farmer, owning that his relaxation and delight were his turnips, his bullocks, and machines ; and so content with them, and with his guests, that Honora never recollected that walk in the pine woods without deciding that to have monopolized him would have been an injury to the public, and perhaps less for his happiness than this free, open-hearted bachelor life. Seldom did she recal that scene to mind, for she had never been by it ren- dered less able to trust to him as her friend and pro- tector, and she stood in need of his services and his comfort, when her father's death had left him the nearest relative, w^ho could advise or transact business for her and her mother. Then, indeed, she leant on him as on the kindest and most helpful of brothers. Mrs. Charlecote was too much acclimatized to the city to be willing to give up her old residence, and Honor not only loved it fondly, but could not bear to withdraw from the local charities where her tasks had hitherto lain ; and "Woolstone-lane, therefore, continued their home, though the summer and autumn usually took them out of London. Such was the change in Honora's outward life. How was it with that inmost shrine where dwelt her heart and soul ? A copious letter writer, Owen Sandbrook's correspondence never failed to find its way to her, though they did not stand on such terms as to write to one another j and in those letters she lived, doing her day's work with cheerful brightness, and seldom seeming pre-occupied, but imagination, heart, and soul were Avith his mission. Very indignant was she when the authorities, instead HOPES AND FEARS. 21 of sending him to the interesting children of the forests, thought proper to waste him on mere colonists, some of them Yankee, some Presbyterian Scots. He was asked insolent, nasal questions, his goods were coolly treated as common property, and it was intimated to him on all hands that as Englishman he was little in their eyes, as clergyman less, as gentleman least of all. Was this what he had sacrificed everything for ? By dint of strong complaints and entreaties, after he had quarrelled with most of his flock, he accomplished an exchange into a district where red men formed the chief of his charge ; and Honora was happy, and watched for histories of noble braves, gallant hunters, and meek-eyed squaws. Slowly, slowly she gathered that the picturesque deer skins had become dirty blankets, and that the diseased, filthy, sophisticated savages were among the worst of the pitiable specimens of the effect of contact with the most evil side of civilization. To them, as Owen wrote, a missionary was only a white man who gave no brandy, and the rest of his parishioners were their obdurate, greedy, trading tempters ! It had been a shame to send him to such a hopeless set, when there were others on whom his toils would not be thrown away. However, he should do his best. And Honor went on expecting the wonders his best would work, only the more struck with admiration by hearing that the locality was a swamp of luxuriant vegetation, and equally luxuriant fever and ague ; and the letter he wrote thence to her mother on the news of their loss did her more good than all Humfrey's considerate kindness. Next, he had had the ague, and had gone to Toronto for change of air. Report spoke of Mr. Saudbrook as the most popular preacher who had appeared in Toronto for years, attracting numbers to his pulpit, and sending them away enraptured by his power of language. How beautiful that a man of such talents, always so much stimulated by appreciation, should give up all this 22 HOPES AND FEARS. most congenial scene, and devote himself to his obscure mission ! Report said more, but Honora gave it no credit till old Mr. Sandbrook called one morning in Woolstone- lane, by his nephew's desire, to announce to his friends that he had formed an engagement with Miss Charteris, the daughter of a general officer there in command. Honor sat out all the conversation ; and Mrs. Charle- cote did not betray herself; though, burning with a mother's wrath, she did nothing worse than hope they would be happy. Yet Honor had not dethroned the monarch of her imagination. She reiterated to herself and to her mother that she had no ground of complaint, that it had been understood that the past was to be forgotten, and that Owen was far more worthily employed than in dwelling on them. No blame could attach to him, and it was wise to choose one accustomed to the country and able to carry out his plans. The personal feeling might go, but veneration survived. Mrs. Charlecote never rested till she had learnt all the particulars. It was a dashing, fashionable family, and Miss Charteris had been the gayest of the gay, till she had been impressed by Mr. Sandbrook's ministra- tions. From pope to lover, Honor knew how easy was the transition ; but she zealously nursed her admiration for the beauty, who was exchanging her gaieties for the forest missions ; she made her mother write cordially, and send out a pretty gift, and treated as a personal affront all reports of the Charteris disapprobation, and of the self-will of the young people. They were married, and the next news that Honora heard was, that the old general had had a fit from passion ; thirdly, came tidings that the eldest son, a prosperous M.P., had not only effected a reconciliation, but had obtained a capital living for Mr. Sandbrook, not far from the family-seat. Mrs. Charlecote declared that her daughter should not stay in town to meet the young couple, and HOPES AND FEARS. 23 Honora's resistance was not so much dignity, as a feverish spirit of opposition, which succumbed to her sense of duty, but not without such wear and tear of strained cheerfulness and suppressed misery, that when at length her mother had brought her away, the fatigue of the journey completed the work, and she was prostrated for weeks by low fever. The blow had fallen. He had put his hand to the plough and looked back. Faithlessness towards herself had been passed over unrecognised, faithlessness towards his self-conse- cration was quite otherwise. That which had absorbed her affections and adoration had proved an unstable, excitable being ! Alas ! would that long ago she had opened her eyes to the fact that it was her own lofty spirit, not his steadfastness, which had first kept it out of the question that the mission should be set aside for human love. The crash of her idolatry was the greater because it had been so highly pitched, so closely inter- mingled with the true worship. She was long ill, the past series of disappointments telling when her strength was reduced; and for many a week she would lie still and dreamy, but fretted and wearied, so as to control herself with difficulty when in the slightest degree dis- turbed, or called upon to move or think. When her strength returned under her mother's tender nursing, the sense of duty revived. She thought her youth utterly gone, with the thinning of her hair and the wasting of her cheeks, but her mother must be the object of her care and solicitude, and she would exert herself for her sake, to save her grief, and hide the wound left by the rending away of the jewel of her heart. So she set herself to seem to like whatever her mother proposed, and she acted her interest so well that insensibly it became real. After all, she was but four-and-twenty, and the fever had served as an ex- pression of the feeling that would have its way : she had had a long rest, which had relieved the sense of pent-up and restrained suffering, and vigour and buoyancy were a part of her character ; her tone and M HOPES AND FEARS. manner resumed their cheerfulness, her spirits came back, though still with the dreary feeling that the hope and aim of life were gone, when she was left to her own musings ; she was little changed, and went on with daily life, contented and lively over the details, and returning to her interest in reading, in art, poetry, and in all good works, while her looks resumed their brightness, and her mother congratulated herself once more on the rounded cheek and profuse curls. At the year's end Humfrey Charlecote renewed his proposal. It was no small shock to find herself guilty of his having thus long remained single, and she was touched by his kind forbearance, but there was no bringing herself either to love him, or to believe that he loved her, with such love as had been her vision. The image around which she had bound her heart- strings came between him and her, and again she begged his pardon, and told him she liked him too well as he was to think of him in any other light. Again he, with the most tender patience and humility, asked her to forgive him for having harassed her, and be- trayed so little chagrin that she ascribed his offer to generous compassion at her desertion. CHAPTER II. He who lets his feelings run In soft luxurious flow, Shrinks when hard service must be done, And faints at every woe.' EVEN" years more, and Honora was in mourning for her mother. She was alone in the world, without any near or precious claim, those clinging tendrils of her heart rent from their oldest, surest earthly stay, and her time left vacant from her dearest, most constant occupation. Her impulse was to devote herself and her fortune at once to the good work which most engaged her imagination, but Humfrey Charlecote, her sole relation, since heart complaint had carried off his sister Sarah, interfered with the authority he had always exercised over her, and insisted on her waiting one full year before pledging herself to anything. At one-and- thirty, with her golden hair and light figure, her deli- cate skin and elastic step, she was still too young to keep house in solitude, and she invited to her home a friendless old governess of her own, sick at heart with standing for the Governess's Institution, promising her a daughter's care and attendance on her old age. Gentle old Miss Wells was but too happy in her new quarters, though she constantly averred that she knew she should not continue there; treated as injuries to herself all Honor's assertions of the dignity of ago and old maidishness, and remained convinced that she should soon see her married. 26 HOPES AND FEARS. Honora had not seen Mr. Sandbrook since his return from Canada, though his living was not thirty miles from the City. There had been exchanges of calls when he had been in London, but these had only re- sulted in the leaving of cards ; and from various causes she had been unable to meet him at dinner. She heard of him, however, from their mutual connexion, old Mrs. Sandbrook, who had made a visit at Wrapworth, and came home stored with anecdotes of the style in which he lived, the charms of Mrs. Sandbrook, and the beauty of the children. As far as Honora could gather, and very unwillingly she did so, he was leading the life of an easy-going, well-beneficed clergyman, not neglecting the parish, according to the requirements of the day, indeed slightly exceeding them, very popular, good- natured, and charitable, and in great request in a numerous, demi-suburban neighbourhood, for all sorts of not unclerical gaieties. The Rev. O. Sandbrook was often to be met with in the papers, preaching every- where and for everything, and whispers went about of his speedy promotion to a situation of greater note. In the seventh year of his marriage, his wife died, and Honora was told of his overwhelming grief, how he utterly refused all comfort or alleviation, and threw himself with all his soul into his parish and his chil- dren. People spoke of him as going about among the poor from morning to night, with his little ones by his side, shrinking from all other society, teaching them and nursing them himself, and endeavouring to the utmost to be as both parents in one. The youngest, a delicate infant, soon followed her mother to the grave, and old Mrs. Sandbrook proved herself to have no parent's heart by being provoked with his agonizing grief for the ' poor little sickly thing,' while it was not in Honora's nature not to feel the more tenderly towards the idol of her girlish days, because he was in trouble. It was autumn, the period when leaves fall off and grow damp, and London birds of passage fly home to HOPES AND FEARS. 27 their smoky nests. Honora, who had gone to Weymouth chiefly because she saw Miss Wells would be disap- pointed if she did otherwise ; when there, had grown happily at home with the waves, and in talking to the old fishermen ; but had come back because Miss Wells thought it chilly and dreary, and pined for London warmth and snugness. The noonday sun had found the way in at the oriel window of the draw- ing-room, and traced the reflection of the merchant's mark upon the upper pane in distorted outline on the wainscoted wall ; it smiled on the glowing tints of Honora's hair, but seemed to die away against the blackness of her dress, as she sat by the table, writing letters, while opposite, in the brightness of the fire, sat the pale, placid Miss Wells with her morning nest of sermon books and needlework around her. Honor yawned ; Miss Wells looked up with kind anxiety. She knew such a yawn was equivalent to a sigh, and that it was dreary work to settle in at home again this first time without the mother. Then Honor smiled, and played with her pen wiper. * Well,' she said, ' it is comfortable to be at home again !' ' 1 hope you will soon be able to feel so, my dear,' said the kind old governess. 1 1 mean it,' said Honor cheerfully j then sighing, ' But do you know 1 Mr. Askew wishes his curates to visit at the asylum instead of ladies.' Miss Wells burst out into all the indignation that was in her mild nature. Honor not to visit at the asylum founded chiefly by her own father ! ' It is a parish affair now,' said Honor ; ' and I believe those Miss Stones and their set have been very troublesome. Besides, I think he means to change its character.' 1 It is very inconsiderate of him/ said Miss Wells ; * he ought to have consulted you.' 'Everyone loves his own charity the best,' said Honora; ' Humfrey says endowments arc generally a mistake, each generation had better do its own work 28 HOPES AND FEARS. to the utmost. I wish Mr. Askew had not begun now, it was the work I specially looked to, but I let it alone while and he cannot be expected ' 1 1 should have expected it of him though !' exclaimed Miss Wells, ' and he ought to know better ! How have you heard it V ' I have a note from him this morning,' said Honora ; 'he asks me Humfrey Charlecote's address; you know he and Mr. Sandbrook are trustees/ and her voice grew the sadder. ' If I am not much mistaken, Mr. Charlecote will represent to him his want of consideration.' ' I think not,' said Honora ; ' I should be sorry to make the clergyman's hard task here any harder for the sake of my feelings. Late incumbent's daughters are proverbially inconvenient. No, I would not stand in the way, but it makes me feel as if my work in St. Wulstan's were done,' and the tears dropped fast. ' Dear, dear Honora !' began the old lady, eagerly, but her words and Honora's tears were both checked by the sound of a bell, that bell within the court, to which none but intimates found access. 1 Strange ! It is the thought of old times, I suppose/ said Honor, smiling, ' but I could have said that was Owen Sandbrook's ring.' The words were scarcely spoken, ere Mr. Sandbrook and Captain Charteris were announced ; and there entered a clergyman leading a little child in each hand. How changed from the handsome, hopeful youth from whom she had parted ! Thin, slightly bowed, grief- stricken, and worn, she would scarcely have known him, and as if to hide how much she felt, she bent quickly, after shaking hands with him, to kiss the two children, flaxen-curled creatures in white, with black ribbons. They both shrank closer to their father. 1 Cilly, my love, Owen, my man, speak to Miss Charle- cote/ he said, ' she is a very old friend of mine. This is my bonny little housekeeper,' he added, ' and here's a sturdy fellow for four years old, is not he V HOPES AND FEARS. 29 The girl, a delicate fairy of six, barely accepted an embrace, and clung the faster to her father, with a gesture as though to repel all advance. The boy took a good stare out of a pair of resolute grey eyes, with one foot in advance, and offered both hands. Honora would have taken him on her knee, but he retreated, and both leant against their father as he sat, an arm round each; after shaking hands with Miss Wells, whom he recollected at once, and presenting his brother- in-law, whose broad, open, sailor countenance, hardy and weather-stained, was a great contrast to his pale, hollow, furrowed cheeks and heavy eyes. 1 Will you tell me your name, my dear V said Honora, feeling the children the easiest to talk to ; but the little girl's pretty lips pouted, and she nestled nearer to her father. 1 Her name is Lucilla,' he answered with a sigh, re- calling that it had been his wife's name. 'We are all somewhat of little savages,' he added, in excuse for the child's silence. ' We have seen few strangers at Wrap- worth of late.' ' I did not know you were in London.' I It was a sudden measure — all my brother's doing,' he said ; ' I am quite taken out of my own guidance.' ' I went down to Wrapworth, and found him very unwell, quite out of order, and neglecting himself,' said the captain ; ' so I have brought him up for advice, as I could not make him hear reason.' I I was afraid you were looking very ill,' said Honora, hardly daring to glance at his changed face. 1 Can't help being ill,' returned Captain Charteris, * running about the village in all weathers in a coat like that, and sitting down to play with the children in his wet things. I saw what it would come to, last time.' Mr. Sandbrook could not repress a cough, which told plainly what it was come to. . Miss Wells asked whom he intended to consult, and there was some talk on physicians, but the subject was 30 HOPES AND FEARS. turned off by Mr. Sanclbrook bending down to point out to little Owen a beautiful carving of a brooding dove on her nest, which formed the central bracket of the fine old mantelpiece. 1 There, my man, that pretty bird has been sitting there ever since I can remember. How like it all looks to old times ! I could imagine myself running in from "Westminster on a saint's day.' ' It is little altered in some things,' said Honor. The last great change was too fresh ! 1 Yes,' said Mr. Sandbrook, raising his eyes towards her with the look that used to go so deep of old, l we have both gone through what makes the unchangeable- ness of these impassive things the more striking.' ' I can't see,' said the little girl, pulling his hand. { Let me lift you up, my dear,' said Honora ; but the child turned her back on her, and said, ' Father.' He rose, and was bending, at the little imperious voice, though evidently too weak for the exertion, but the sailor made one step forward, and pouncing on Miss Lucilla, held her up in his arms close to the carv- ing. The two little feet made signs of kicking, and she said in anything but a grateful voice, 'Put me down, Uncle Kit.' Uncle Kit complied, and she retreated under her papa's wing, pouting, but without another word of being lifted, though she had been far too much occupied with struggling to look at the dove. Meantime her brother had followed up her request by saying, ' me,' and he fairly put out his arms to be lifted by Miss Charlecote, and made most friendly acquaintance with all the curiosities of the carving. The rest of the visit was chiefly occupied by the children, to whom their father was eager to show all that he had admired when little older than they were, thus displaying a perfect and minute recollection and affection for the place, which much gratified Honora. The little girl began to thaw somewhat under the influence of amusement, but there was still a curious ungraciousness towards all atten- HOPES AND FEARS. 81 tions. She required those of her father as a right, but shook off all others in a manner which might be either shyness or independence j but as she was a pretty and naturally graceful child, it had a somewhat engaging air of caprice. They took leave, Mr. Sandbrook telling the children to thank Miss Charlecote for being so kind to them, which neither would do, and telling her as he pressed her hand, that he hoped to see her again. Honora felt as if an old page in her history had been re-opened, but it was not the page of her idolatry, it was that of the fall of her idol ! She did not see in him the champion of the truth, but his presence pal- pably showed her the excitable weakness which she had taken for inspiration, while the sweetness and sympathy warmed her heart towards him, and made her feel that she had underrated his attractiveness. His implications that he knew she sympathized with him had touched her greatly, and then he looked so ill ! A note from old Mrs. Sandbrook begged her to meet him at dinner the next day, and she was glad of the opportunity of learning the doctor's verdict upon him, though all the time she knew the meeting would be but pain, bringing before her the disappointment not of him, but in him. No one was in the drawing-room but Captain Charteris, who came and shook hands with her as if they were old friends ; but she was somewhat amazed at missing Mrs. Sandbrook, whose formality would be shocked by leaving her guests in the lurch. 'Some disturbance in the nursery department, I fancy,' said the captain ; ' those children have never been from home, and they are rather exacting, poor things.' 'Poor little things!' echoed Honora; then, anxious to profit by the tele-a-lete, ' has Mr. Sandbrook seen Dr. L.V ' Yes, it is just as I apprehended. Lungs very much affected, right one nearly gone. Nothing for it but the Mediterranean.' 'Indeed !' 32 HOPES AND FEARS. 1 It is no wonder. Since my poor sister died he has never taken the most moderate care of his health, perfectly revelled in dreariness and desolateness, I be- lieve ! He has had this cough about him ever since the winter, when he walked up and down whole nights with that poor child, and never would hear of any advice till I brought him up here almost by force.' ' I am sure it was time.' ' May it be in time, that's all.' ' Italy does so much ! But what will become of the children V ' They must go to my brother's of course. I have told him I will see him there, but I will not have the children ! There's not the least chance of his mend- ing, if they are to be always lugging him about ' The captain was interrupted by the entrance of Mrs. Sandbrook, who looked a good deal worried, though she tried to put it aside, but on the captain sayiug, 1 I'm afraid that you have troublesome guests, ma'am,' out it all came, how it had been discovered late in the day that Master Owen must sleep in his papa's room, in a crib to himself, and how she had been obliged to send out to hire the necessary articles, subject to his nurse's approval ; and the captain's sympathy having opened her heart, she further informed them of the inconvenient rout the said nurse had made about getting new milk for them, for which Honor could have found it in her heart to justify her, 'and poor Owen is just as bad,' quoth the old lady ; ' I declare those children are wearing his very life out, and yet he will not hear of leaving them behind.' She was interrupted by his appearance at that moment, as usual, with a child in either hand, and a verv sad picture it was, so mournful and spiritless was his countenance, with the hectic tint of decay evident on each thin cheek, and those two fair health- ful creatures clinging to him, thoughtless of their past loss, unconscious of that which impended. Little Owen, after one good stare, evidently recognised a HOPES AND FEAKS. 33 friend in Miss Charlecote, and let her seat him upon her knee, listening to her very complacently, but gazing very hard all the time at her, till at last, with an experimental air, he stretched one hand and stroked the broad golden ringlet that hung near him, evidently to satisfy himself whether it really was hair. Then he found his way to her watch, a pretty little one from Geneva, with enamelled flowers at the back, which so struck his fancy that he called out, ' Cilly, look !' The temptation drew the little girl nearer, but with her hands behind her back, as if bent on making no advance to the stranger. Honora thought her the prettiest child she had ever seen. Small and lightly formed, there was more symmetry in her little fairy figure than usual at her age, and the skin was exquisitely fine and white, tinted with a soft eglantine pink, deepening into roses on the cheeks ; the hair was in long flaxen curls, and the eye- lashes, so long and fair that at times they caught a glossy light, shaded eyes of that deep blue upon that limpid white, which is like nothing but the clear tints of old porcelain. The features were as yet unformed, but small and delicate, and the upright Napoleon gesture had something peculiarly quaint and pretty in such a soft-looking little creature. The boy was a handsome fellow, with more solidity and sturdiness, and Honora could scarcely continue to amuse him, as she thought of the fathers pain in parting with two such beings — his sole objects of affection. A moment's wish flashed across her, but was dismissed the next moment as a mere childish romance. Old Mr. Sandbrook came in, and various other guests arrived, old acquaintance to whom Owen must be re-introduced, and he looked fagged and worn by the time all the greetings had been exchanged and all the remarks made on his children. When dinner was announced, he remained to the last with them, and did not appear in the dining-room till his uncle bad had time to look round for him, and mutter something VOL. I. D 34 HOPES AND FEARS. t discontentedly about c those brats.' The vacant chair was beside Honora, and he was soon seated in it, but at first he did not seem inclined to talk, and leant back, so white and exhausted, that she thought it kinder to leave him to himself. When, somewhat recruited, he said in a low voice something of his hopes that his little Cilly, as he called her, would be less shy another time, and Honora re- sponding heartily, he quickly fell into the parental strain of anecdotes of the children's sayings and doings, whence Honora collected that in his estimation Lucilla's forte was decision and Owen's was sweetness, and that he was completely devoted to them, nursing and teaching them himself, and finding his whole solace in them. Tender pity moved her strongly to- wards him, as she listened to the evidences of the desolateness of his home and his heavy sorrow ; and yet it was pity alone, admiration would not revive, and indeed, in spite of herself, her judgment would now and then respond ' unwise,' or ' weak,' or ' why permit this V at details of Lucilla's mutinerie. Presently she found that his intentions were quite at variance with those of his brother. His purpose was fixed to take the children with him. 1 They are very young,' said Honora. f Yes ; but their nurse is a most valuable person, and can arrange perfectly for them, and they will always be under my eye.' ' That was just what Captain Charteris seemed to dread.' 'He little knows,' began Mr. Sandbrook, with a sigh. ' Yes, I know he is most averse to it, and he is one who always carries his point, but he will not do so here ; he imagines that they may go to their aunt's nursery, but,' with an added air of confidence, ' that will never do ! ' Honora's eyes asked more. 1 In fact,' he said, as the flush of pain rose on his cheeks, ' the Charteris children are not brought up as HOPES AND FEARS. 35 I should wish to see mine. There are influences at work there not suited for those whose home must be a country parsonage, if Little Cilly has come in for more admiration there already than is good for her.' 1 It cannot be easy for her not to meet with that.* 1 Why, no,' said the gratified father, smiling sadly ; 'but Castle Blanch training might make the mischief more serious. It is a gay household, and I cannot be- lieve with Kit Charteris that the children are too young to feel the blight of worldly influence. Do not you think with me, Nora V he concluded in so exactly the old words and manner as to stir the very depths of her heart, but woe worth the change from the hopes of youth to this premature fading into despondency, and the implied farewell ! She did think with him completely, and felt the more for him, as she believed that these Charterises had led him and his wife into the gaieties, which since her death he had forsworn and abhorred as temptations. She thought it hard that he should not have his children with him, and talked of all the various facilities for taking them that she could think of, till his face brightened under the grateful sense of sympathy. She did not hold the same opinion all the evening. The two children made their appearance at dessert, and there began by insisting on both sitting on his knees ; Owen consented to come to her, but Lucilla would not stir, though she put on some pretty little coquettish airs, and made herself extremely amiable to the gentleman who sat on her father's other hand, making smart replies, that were repeated round the table with much amusement. But the ordinance of departure with the ladies was one of which the sprite had no idea ; Honor held out her hand for her ; Aunt Sandbrook called her ; her father put her down; she shook her curls, and said she should not leave father ; it was stupid up in the drawing-room, and she hated ladies, which confession set every one D2 36 HOPES ANiy FEARS. laughing, so as quite to annihilate the effect of Mr. Sandbrook's ' Yes, go, my dear.' Finally, he took the two up-stairs himself — the stairs which, as he had told Honora that evening, were his greatest enemies, and he remained a long time in their nursery, not coming down till tea was in progress. Mrs. Sandbrook always made it herself at the great silver urn, which had been a testimonial to her husband, and it was not at first that she had a cup ready for him. He looked even worse than at dinner, and Honora was anxious to see him resting comfortably ; but he had hardly sat down on the sofa, and taken the cup in his hand, before a dismal childish wail was heard from above, and at once he started up, so hastily as to cough violently. Captain Charteris, breaking off a conversation, came rapidly across the room just as he was moving to the door. ' You're not going to those imps- Owen moved his head, and stepped forward. ' I'll settle them.' Renewed cries met his ears. 'No a strange place ' he said. ' I must ' He put his brother-in-law back with his hand, and was gone. The captain could not contain his vexation, ' That's the way those brats serve him every night P he exclaimed ; ' they will not attempt to go to sleep without him ! Why, I've found him writing his sermon with the boy wrapped up in blankets in his lap ; there's no sense in it.' After about ten minutes, during which Mr. Sand- brook did not reappear, Captain Charteris muttered something about going to see about him, and stayed away a good while. When he came down, he came and sat down by Honora, and said, ' He is going to bed, quite done for.' ' That must be better for him than talking here.' 'Why, what do you think I found? Those in- tolerable brats would not stop crying unless he told them a story, and there was he with his voice quite HOPES AND FEARS. 37 gone, coughing every two minutes, and romancing on with some allegory about children marching on their little paths, and playing on their little fiddles. So I told Miss Cilly that if she cared a farthing for her father, she would hold her tongue, and I packed her up, and put her into her nursery. She'll mind me when she sees I will be minded ; and as for little Owen, nothing would satisfy him but his promising not to go away. I saw that chap asleep before I came down, so there's no fear of the yarn beginning again; but you see what chance there is of his mending while those children are at him day and night.' 1 Poor things ! they little know.' 1 One does not expect them to know, but one does expect them to show a little rationality. It puts one out of all patience to see him so weak. If he is en- couraged to take them abroad, he may do so, but I wash my hands of him. I wont be responsible for him — let them go alone !' Honora saw this was a reproach to her for the favour with which she had regarded the project. She saw that the father's weakness quite altered the case, and her former vision flashed across her again, but she reso- lutely put it aside for consideration, and only made the unmeaning answer, ' It is very sad and perplexing.' ' A perplexity of his own making. As for their not going to Castle Blanch, they were always there in my poor sister's time a great deal more than was good for any of them, or his parish either, as I told him then ; and now, if he finds out that it is a worldly household, as he calls it, why, what harm is that to do to a couple of babies like those 1 If Mrs. Charteris does not trouble herself much about the children, there are governesses and nurses enough for a score !' * I must own,' said Honora, ' that I think he is right. Children are never too young for impressions.' 1 I'll tell you what, Miss Charlecote, the way he is going on is enough to ruin the best children in tin: world. That little Cilly is the most arrant little flirt 38 HOPES AND FEARS. I ever came across ; it is like a comedy to see the absurd little puss going on with the curate, ay, and with every parson that comes to Wrapworth; and she sees nothing else. Impressions ! All she wants is to be safe shut up with a good governess, and other chil- dren. It would do her a dozen times more good than all his stories of good children and their rocky paths, and boats that never sailed on any reasonable principle.' ' Poor child,' said Honora, smiling, ' she is a little witch.' ' And,' continued the uncle, ' if he thinks it so bad for them, he had better take the only way of saving them from it for the future, or they will be there for life. If he gets through this winter, it will only be by the utmost care.' Honora kept her project back with the less diffi- culty, because she doubted how it would be received by the rough captain ; but it won more and more upon her, as she rattled home through the gas lights, and though she knew she should learn to love the children only to have the pang of losing them, she gladly cast this foreboding aside as selfish, and applied herself im- partially as she hoped to weigh the duty, but trembling were the hands that adjusted the balance. Alone as she stood, without a tie, was not she marked out to take such an office of mere pity and charity 1 Could she see the friend of her childhood forced either to peril his life by his care of his motherless children, or else to leave them to the influences he so justly dreaded ? Did not the case cry out to her to follow the promptings of her heart? Ay, but might not, said caution, her assumption of the charge lead their father to look on her as willing to become their mother? Oh, fie on such selfish prudery imputing such a thought to yonder broken-hearted, sinking widower! He had as little room for such folly as she had inclination to find herself on the old terms. The hero of her imagination he could never be again, but it would be weak conscious- ness to scruple at offering so obvious an act of com- HOPES AND FEARS. 39 passion. She would not trust herself, she would go by what Miss Wells said. Nevertheless she composed her letter to Owen Sandbrook between waking and sleeping all night, and dreamed of little creatures nestling in her lap, and small hands playing with her hair. How coolly she strove to speak as she described the dilemma to the old lady, and how her heart leapt when Miss Wells, her mind moving in the grooves traced out by sympathy with her pupil, exclaimed, ' Poor little dears, what a pity they should not be with you, my dear, they would be a nice interest for you !' Perhaps Miss Wells thought chiefly of the brighten- ing in her child's manner, and the alert vivacity of eye and voice such as she had not seen in her since she had lost her mother ; but be that as it might, her words were the very sanction so much longed for, and ere long Honora had her writing-case before her, cogitating over the opening address, as if her whole meaning were implied in them. 1 My dear Owen,' came so naturally that it was too like an attempt to recur to the old familiarity. ' My dear Mr. Sandbrook V So formal as to be conscious ! ' Dear Owen?' Yes, that was the cousinly medium, and in diffident phrases of restrained eagerness, now seeming too affectionate, now too cold, she offered to devote herself to his little ones, to take a house on the coast, and endeavour to follow out his wishes with regard to them, her good old friend supplying her lack of ex- perience. With a beating heart she awaited the reply. It was but a few lines, but all Owen was in them. 'My dear Nora — You always were an angel of goodness. I feel your kindness more than I can express. If my darlings were to be left at all, it should be with you, but I cannot contemplate it. Bless you for the thought ! 1 Yours ever, 0. Sandbrook.' She heard no more for a week, during which a dread 40 HOPES AND FEARS. of pressing herself on him prevented her from calling on old Mrs. Sandbrook. At last, to her surprise, she received a visit from Captain Charteris, the person whom she looked on as least propitious, and most inclined to regard her as an enthusiastic silly young lady. He was very gruff, and gave a bad account of his patient. The little boy had been unwell, and the exertion of nursing him had been very injurious ; the captain was very angry with illness, child, and father. ' However,' he said, ' there's one good thing, L. has forbidden the children's perpetually hanging on him, sleeping in his room, and so forth. With the constitu- tions to which they have every right, poor things, he could not find a better way of giving them the seeds of consumption. That settles it. Poor fellow, he has not the heart to hinder their always pawing him, so there's nothing for it but to separate them from him.' * And may I have them V asked Honor, too anxious to pick her words. 1 Why, I told him I would come and see whether you were in earnest in your kind offer. You would find them no sinecure.' ' It would be a great happiness,' said she, struggling with tears that might prevent the captain from depend- ing on her good sense, and speaking calmly and sadly ; ' I have no other claims, nothing to tie me to any place. I am a good deal older than I look, and my friend, Miss Wells, has been a governess. She is really a very wise, judicious person, to whom he may quite trust. Owen and I were children together, and I know nothing that I should like better than to be useful to him.' 1 Humph !' said the captain, more touched than he liked to betray ; ' well, it seems the only thing to which he can bear to turn !' 1 Oh !' she said, breaking off, but emotion and earnest- ness looked glistening and trembling through every feature. * Very well,' said Captain Charteris, ' I'm glad, at HOPES AND FEARS. 4-1 least, that there is some one to have pity on the poor things ! There's my brother's wife, she doesn't say no, but she talks of convenience and spoilt children — Sandbrook was quite right after all ; I would not tell him how she answered me ! Spoilt children to be sure they are, poor things, but she might recollect they have no mother — such a fuss as she used to make with poor Lucilla too. Poor Lucilla, she would never have believed that " dear Caroline" would have no better welcome for her little ones ! Spoilt indeed ! A pre- cious deal pleasanter children they are than any of the lot at Castle Blanch, and better brought up too.' The good captain's indignation had made away with his consistency, but Honora did not owe him a grudge for revealing that she was his pis aller, she was prone to respect a man who showed that he despised her, and she only cared to arrange the details. He was anxious to carry away his charge at once, since every day of this wear and tear of feeling was doing incalculable harm, and she undertook to receive the children and nurse at any time. She would write at once for a house at some warm watering-place, and take them there as soon as possible, and she offered to call that afternoon to settle all with Owen. 1 Why,' said Captain Charteris, ' I hardly know. One reason I came alone was, that I believe that little elf of a Cilly has some notion of what is plotting against her. You can't speak a word but that child catches up, and she will not let her father out of her sight for a moment !' ' Then what is to be done ? I would propose his coming here, but the poor child would not let him go.' 1 That is the only chance. He has been forbidden the walking with them in his arms to put them to sleep, and we've got the boy into the nursery, and he'd better be out of the house than hear them roaring for him. So if you have no objection, and he is tolerable this evening, I would bring him as soon as they are gone to bed.' 42 HOPES AND FEARS. Poor Owen was evidently falling under the manage- ment of stronger hands than his own, and it could only be hoped that it was not too late. His keeper brought him at a little after eight that evening. There was a look about him as if, after the last stroke that had be- fallen him, he could feel no more, the bitterness of death was past, his very hands looked woe-begone and astray, without the little fingers pressing them. He could not talk at first ; he shook Honor's hand as if he could not bear to be grateful to her, and only the hardest hearts could have endured to enter on the in- tended discussion. The captain was very gentle towards him, and talk was made on other topics, but gradually something of the influence of the familiar scene, where his brightest days had been passed, began to prevail. All was like old times — the quaint old silver kettle and lamp, the pattern of the china cups, the ruddy play of the fire on the polished panels of the room, and he began to revive and join in the conversation. They spoke of Delaroche's beautiful Madonnas, one of which was at the time to be seen at a print shop — ' Yes,' said Mr. Sandbrook, ' and little Owen cried out as soon as he saw it, " That lady, the lady with the flowery watch.'" Honora smiled. It was an allusion to the old jests upon her auburn locks, ' a greater compliment to her than to Delaroche,' she said ; ' I saw that he was ex- tremely curious to ascertain what my carrots were made of ' Do you know, Nora, I never saw more than one person with such hair as yours,' said Owen, with more animation, ' and oddly enough her name turned out to be Charlecote.' ' Impossible ! Humfrey and I are the only Charle- cotes left that I know of ! Where could it have been V ' It was at Toronto. I must confess that I was struck by the brilliant hair in chapel. Afterwards I met her once or twice. She was a Canadian born, and had just married a settler, whose name I can't remember, but HOPES AND FEARS. 43 her maiden name had certainly been Charlecote ; I re- membered it because of the coincidence.' 1 Very curious ; I did not know there had been any Charlecotes but ourselves.' ' And Humfrey Charlecote has never married V 1 Never.' What made Owen raise his eyes at that moment, just so that she met them ; and why did that dreadful uncontrollable crimson heat come mounting up over cheeks and temples, tingling and spreading into her very neck, just because it was the most hateful thing that could happen ? And he saw it. She knew he did so, for he dropped his eyes at once, and there was an absolute silence, which she broke in desperation, by an incoherent attempt to say something, and that ended by blundering into the tender subject — the children; she found she had been talking about the place to which she thought of taking them, a quiet spot on the northern coast of Somersetshire. He could bear the pang a little better now, and assented, and the ice once broken, there were so many details and injunctions that lay near his heart that the conversation never flagged. He had great reliance on their nurse, and they were healthy children, so that there was not much instruction as regarded the care of their little persons; but he had a great deal to say about the books they were to be taught from, the hymns they were to learn, and the exact management required by Lucilla's peculiar temper and decided will. The theory was so perfect and so beautifully wise that Honora sat by in reverence, fearing her power of carry- ing it out ; and Captain Charteris listened with a shade of satire on his face, and at last broke out with a very odd grunt, as if he did not think this quite what he had seen at Wrapworth parsonage. Mr. Sandbrook coloured, and checked himself. Then, after a pause, he said in a very different tone, ' Perhaps so, Kit. It is only too easy to talk. Nora knows that 44 HOPES AND FEARS. there is a long way between my intentions and my practice.' The humble dejection of that tone touched her more than she had been touched since he had wrung her hand, long, long ago. 1 Well,' said the captain, perceiving only that he had given pain, ' I will say this for your monkeys, they do know what is right at least ; they have heard the arti- cles of war, which I don't fancy the other lot ever did. As to the discipline, humph ! It is much of a much- ness, and I'm not sure but it is not the best at the castle.' 'The children are different at home,' said Owen, quietly ; ' but,' he added, with the same sad humility, 'I dare say they will be much the better for the change ; I know ' But he broke off, and put his hand before his eyes. Honora hoped she should not be left alone with him, but somehow it did happen. The captain went to bring the carriage into the court, and get all imagi- nable wraps before trusting him out in the air, and Miss Wells disappeared, probably intending kindness. Of course neither spoke, till the captain was almost come back. Then Owen rose from where he had been sitting listlessly, leaning back, and slowly said, ' Nora, we did not think it would end thus when I put my hand to the plough. I am glad to have been here again. I had not remembered what I used to be. I do not ask you to forgive me. You are doing so, re- turning me good for — shall I say evil V Honor could not speak or look, she drooped her head, and her hair veiled her ; she held out her hand as the captain came in, and felt it pressed with a feverish, eager grasp, and a murmured blessing. Honora did not see Mr. Sandbrook again, but Cap- tain Charteris made an incursion on her the next day to ask if she could receive the children on the ensuing morning. He had arranged to set off before daybreak, embarking for Ostend before the children were up, so HOPES AND FEARS. 45 as to spare the actual parting, and Honora undertook to fetch them home in the course of the day. He had hoped to avoid their knowing of the impending sepa- ration, but he could only prevail so far as to extract a promise that they should not know when it was to take place. Their father had told them of their desti- nation and his own as they sat on his bed in the morn- ing before he rose, and apparently it had gone off better than could have been expected ; little Owen did not seem to understand, and his sister was a child who never shed tears. The day came, and Honora awoke to some awe at the responsibility, but with a yearning supplied, a vacancy filled up. For at least six months she should be as a mother, and a parent's prayers could hardly have been more earnest. She had not long been drest, when a hasty peal was heard at the bell, and no sooner was the door opened than in hurried Captain Charteris, breathless, and bear- ing a large plaid bundle, with tangled flaxen locks drooping at one end, and at the other rigid white legs, socks trodden down, one shoe wanting. He deposited it, and there stood the eldest child, her chin buried in her neck, her fingers digging fast into their own palms, her eyes gleaming fiercely at him under the pent-house she had made of her brows. ' There's an introduction !' he said, panting for breath. ' Found her in time — the Strand — laid flat on back seat, under all the plaids and bags — her father put up his feet and found her — we drove to the lane — I ran down with her — not a moment — can't stay, good by, little Cilly goose, to think she could go that figure !' He advanced to kiss her, but she lifted up her shoulder between him and her face, much as a pugna- cious pigeon flaps its wing, and he retreated. ' Wiser not, may be ! Look here,' as Honora hurried after him into the hall to ask after the patient ; ' if you have a bit of sticking plaster, he had better not see this.' 46 HOPES AND FEARS. Lucilla had made her little pearls of teeth meet in the fleshy part of his palm. Honora recoiled, shocked, producing the plaster from her pocket in an instant. ' Little vixen,' he said, half laughing ; l but I was thankful to her for neither kicking nor struggling P ' Poor child !' said Honora, ' perhaps it was as much agony as passion !' He shrugged his shoulders as he held out his hand for her operations, then hastily thanking her and wishing her good by, rushed off again, as the astonished Miss Wells appeared on the stairs. Honor shrank from telling her what wounds had been received, she thought the gentle lady would never get over such a proceeding, and, in fact, she herself felt somewhat as if she had undertaken the charge of a little wild cat, and quite uncertain what the young lady might do next. On entering the breakfast-room, they found her sunk down all in a heap, where her uncle had set her down, her elbows on a low footstool, and her head leaning on them, the eyes still gazing askance from under the brows, but all the energy and life gone from the little dejected figure. ' Poor child ! Dear little thing — wont you come to me ¥ She stirred not. Miss Wells advanced, but the child's only motion was to shake her frock at her, as if to keep her off; Honora, really afraid of the consequences of touching her, whispered that they would leave her to herself a little. The silver kettle came in and tea was made. ' Lucilla, my dear, the servants are coming in to prayers.' She did not offer to move, and still Honora let her alone, and she remained in the same attitude while the psalm was read, but afterwards there was a little ap- proximation to kneeling in her position. 1 Lucilla, dear child, you had better come to break- fast ' Only another defying glance. Miss Wells, with what Honor thought defective HOPES AND FEARS. 47 judgment, made pointed commendations of the tea, the butter and honey, but they had no effect ; Honora, though her heart ached for the wrench the poor child had undergone, thought it best to affect indifference, gave a hint of the kind, and scrupulously avoided looking round at her, till breakfast was finished. When she did so, she no longer met the wary defiant gleam of the blue eyes, they were fast shut, the head had sunk on the arms, and the long breathings of sleep heaved the little frame. ' Poor little dear !' as Miss Wells might well exclaim, she had kept herself wakeful the whole night that her father might not go without her knowledge. And how pretty she looked in that little black frock, so ill and hastily put on, one round white shoulder quite out of it, and the long flaxen locks showing their silky fineness as they hung dispersed and tangled, the pinky flush of sleep upon the little face pillowed on the rosy pair of arms, and with a white unstockinged leg doubled under her. Poor child, there was more of the angel than the tiger-cat in her aspect now, and they had tears in their eyes, and moved softly lest they should startle her from her rest. But wakened she must be. Honora was afraid of displeasing her domestic vizier, and rendering him for ever unpropitious to her little guests if she deferred his removal of the breakfast things beyond a reasonable hour. How was the awaking to be managed ? Fright, tears, passion, what change would come when the poor little maid must awake to her grief? Honora would never have expected so poetical a flight from her good old governess as the suggestion, ' Play to her ;' but she took it eagerly, and going to the disused piano, which stood in the room, began a low, soft air. The little sleeper stirred, presently raised her head, shook her hair off her ears, and after a moment, to their surprise, her first word was ' Mamma !' Honora was pausing, but the child said, ' Go on,' and sat for a few moments, as though recovering herself, then rose and 48 HOPES AND FEARS. came forward slowly, standing at last close to Honora. There was a pause, and she said, ' Mamma did that.' Never was a sound more welcome ! Honora dared to do what she had longed for so much, put an arm round the little creature, and draw her nearer, nor did Lucilla resist, she only said, 'Wont you go on V 1 1 can make prettier music in the other room, my dear ; we will go there, only you've had no breakfast. You must be very hungry.' Lucilla turned round, saw a nice little roll cut into slices, and remembered that she was hungry; and presently she was consuming it so prosperously under Miss Wells's superintendence, that Honor ventured out to endeavour to retard Jones's desire to ' take away,' by giving him orders about the carriage, and then to attend to her other household affairs. By the time they were ended she found that Miss Wells had brought the child into the drawing-room, where she had at once detected the piano, and looking up at Honora said eagerly, ' Now then !' And Honora fulfilled her promise, while the child stood by softened and gratified, until it was time to propose fetching little Owen, 'your little brother — you will like to have him here.' 1 1 want my father,' said Lucilla, in a determined voice, as if nothing else were to satisfy her. ' Poor child, I know you do ; I am so sorry for you, my dear little woman, but you see the doctors think papa is more likely to get better if he has not you to take care of !' 1 1 did not want my father to take care of me] said the little lady, proudly ; ' I take care of father, I always make his tea, and warm his slippers, and bring him his coffee in the morning. And uncle Kit never will put his gloves for him and warm his handkerchief ! Oh ! what will he do 1 I can't bear it.' The violent grief so long kept back was coming now, but not freely ; the little girl threw herself on the HOPES A&D FEARS. 49 floor, and in a tumult of despair and passion went on, hurrying out her words, ' It's very hard ! It's all Uncle Kit's doing! I hate him! Yes, I do.' And she rolled over and over in her frenzy of feeling. ' My dear ! my dear !' cried Honora, kneeling by her, ' this will never do ! Papa would be veiy much grieved to see his little girl so naughty. Don't you know how your uncle only wants to do him good, and to make him get well.' ' Then why didn't he take me?' said Lucilla, gather- ing herself up, and speaking sullenly. 1 Perhaps he thought you gave papa trouble, and tired him.' ' Yes, that's it, and it's not fair,' cried the poor child again ; ' why couldn't he tell me % I didn't know papa was ill ! he never told me so, nor Mr. Pendy either ; or, how I would have nursed him ! I wanted to do so much for him ; I wouldn't have asked him to tell me stories, nor nothing ! No ! And now they wont let me take care of him f and she cried bitterly. ' Yes,' said good, gentle Miss Wells, thinking more of present comfort than of the too possible future; * but you will go back to take care of him some day, my dear. When the spring comes papa will come back to his little girl.' Spring ! It was a long way off to a mind of six years old, but it made Lucilla look more amiably at Miss W^ells. 1 And suppose,' proceeded that good lady, ' you were to learn to be as good and helpful a little girl as can be while he is gone, and then nobody will wish to keep you from him. How surprised he would be !' 1 And then shall we go home V said Lucilla. Miss Wells uttered a somewhat rash assurance to that effect, and the child came near her, pacitied and satisfied by the scheme of delightful goodness and pro- gress to be made in order to please her father — as she always called him. Honor looked on, thankful for the management that was subduing and consoling the VOL. I. E 50 HOPES AND FEARS. poor little maid, and yet unable to participate in it, for though the kind old lady spoke in all sincerity, it was impossible to Honora to stifle a lurking fear that the hopes built on the prospect of his return had but a hollow foundation. However, it attracted Lucilla to Miss Wells, so that Honora did not fear leaving her on going to bring home little Owen. The carriage which had conveyed the travellers, had brought back news of his sister's dis- covery and capture, and Honora found Mrs. Sandbrook much shocked at the enormity of the proceeding, and inclined to pity Honora for having charge of the most outrageous children she had ever seen. A very long letter had been left for her by their father, rehearsing all he had before given of directions, and dwelling still more on some others, but then apparently repenting of laying down the law, he ended by entreating her to use her own judgment, believe in his perfect confidence, and gratitude beyond expression for most unmerited kindness. Little Owen, she heard, had made the house re- sound with cries when his father was nowhere to be found, but his nurse had quieted him, and he came running to Honora with an open, confiding face. ' Are you the lady ? And will you take me to Cilly and the sea 1 And may I have a whale V Though Honora did not venture on promising him a tame whale in the Bristol Channel, she had him clinging to her in a moment, eager to set off, to go to Cilly, and the dove he had seen at her house. ' It's a nasty house here — I want to come away,' he said, running backwards and forwards between her and the window to look at the horses, while nurse's interminable boxes were being carried down. The troubles really seemed quite forgotten ; the boy sat on her knee and chattered all the way to Woolstone- lane, and there he and Lucilla flew upon each other with very pretty childish joy; the sister doing the HOPES AND FEARS. 51 honours of the house in right of having been a little longer an inmate. Nurse caught her, and dressed and combed her, shoed her and sashed her, so that she came down to dinner less picturesque, but more re- spectable than at her first appearance that morning, and except for the wonderful daintiness of both children, dinner went off very well. All did go well till night, and then Owen's woes began. Oh ! what a piteous sobbing lamentation was it! ' Daddy, daddy !' not to be consoled, not to be soothed, awakening his sister to the same sad cry, stilled only by exhaustion and sleepiness. Poor little fellow ! Night after night it was the same. Morning found him a happy, bright child, full of engaging ways and innocent sayings, and quite satisfied with ' Cousin Honor,' but bedtime always brought back the same wailing. Nurse, a tidy, brisk personage, with a sensible, deferential tone to her superiors, and a caressing one to the children, tried in vain assurances of papa's soon coming back; nay, it might be feared that she held out that going to sleep would bring the morrow when he was to come ; but even this delusive promise failed ; the present was all ; and Cousin Honor herself was only not daddy, though she nursed him, and rocked him in her arms, and fondled him, and told stories or sung his lullaby with nightly tenderness, till the last sobs had quivered into the smooth heavings of sleep. Might only sea air and exercise act as a soporific ! That was a better chance than the new promise which Honora was vexed to find nurse holding out to poor little Owen, that if he would be a good boy, he was going to papa. She was puzzled how to act towards a person not exactly under her authority, but she took courage to speak about these false promises, and found her remonstrance received in good part; indeed, nurse used to talk at much length of the children in a manner that implied great affection for them, coupled with a e2 52 HOPES AND FEARS. sense that ft would be an excellent thing for them to be in such judicious hands. Honora always came away from nurse in good humour with herself. The locality she had chosen was a sheltered village on the north coast of Somerset, just where Exmoor began to give grandeur to the outline in the rear, and in front the Welsh hills wore different tints of purple or grey, according to the promise of weather, Lundy Isle and the two lesser ones serving as the most prominent objects, as they rose from Well, well ! Honor counted herself as a Somersetshire woman, and could not brook hearing much about the hue of the Bristol Channel. At any rate, just here it had been so kind as to wash up a small strip of pure white sand, fit for any amount of digging, for her children ; and though Sandbeach was watering-place enough to have the lodging-houses, butchers and bakers, so indispensable to the London mind, it was not so much in vogue as to be overrun by fine ladies, spoiling the children by admiring their beauty. So said Miss Charlecote in her prudence — but was not she just as jealous as nurse that people should turn round a second time to look at those lovely little faces ? That was a very happy charge to her and her good old governess, with some drawbacks, indeed, but not such as to distress her over much. The chief was at first Owen's nightly sorrows, his daily idleness over lessons, Lucilla's pride, and the exceeding daintiness of both children, which made their meals a constant vexation and trouble. But what was this compared with the charm of their dependence on her, and of hearing that newly-invented pet name, ' Sweet Honey/ invoked in every little concern that touched them 1 It was little Owen's name for her. He was her special favourite — there was no concealing it. Lucilla did not need her as much, and was of a vigorous, inde- pendent nature, that would stand alone to the utmost. Owen gave his affection spontaneously ; if Lucilla's was won, it must be at unawares. She was living in HOPES AND FEARS. 53 and for her absent father now, and had nothing to spare for any one else, or if she had, Miss Wells, who had the less claim on her, was preferred to Cousin Honor. ' Father,' was almost her religion ; though well taught, and unusually forward in religious know- ledge, as far as Honora dared to augur, no motive save her love for him had a substantive existence, as touch- ing her feelings or ruling her actions. For him she said her prayers and learnt her hymns ; for him she consented to learn to hem handkerchiefs ; for him were those crooked letters for ever being written ; nay, at the thought of his displeasure alone could her tears be made to flow when she was naughty; and for him she endeavoured to be less fanciful at dinner, as soon as her mind had grasped the perception that her not eating what was set before her might really hinder him from always having her with him. She was fairly manageable, with very high spirits, and not at all a silly or helpless child ; but though she obeyed Miss Charlecote, it was only as obeying her father through her, and his constant letters kept up the strong influ- ence. In her most gracious moods, she was always telling her little brother histories of what they should do when they got home to father and Mr. Prendergast ; but to Chven, absence made a much greater difference. Though he still cried at night, his ' Sweet Honey ' was what he wanted, and with her caressing him, he only •dreaded her leaving him. He lavished his pretty en- dearments upon her, and missed no one when he held her hand or sat in her lap, stroking her curls, and ex- changing a good deal of fondling. He liked his hymns, and enjoyed Scripture stories, making remarks that caused her to reverence him ; and though backward, idle, and sometimes very passionate, his was exactly the legitimate character for a child, such as she could deal with and love. She was as complete a slave to the two little ones as their father could have been ; all her habits were made to conform to their welfare and pleasure, and very happy she was, but the discipline 54 HOPES AND FEARS. was more decided than they had been used to ; there were habits to be formed, and others to be broken, and she was not weak enough not to act up to her duty in this respect, even though her heart was winding round that sunny-faced boy as fast as it had ever clung to his father. The new Owen Sand brook, with his innocent earnestness, and the spiritual light in his eyes, should fulfil all her dreams ! Christmas had passed J Mr. Sandbrook had begun to write to his children about seeing them soon; Lucilla's slow hemming was stimulated by the hope of soon making her present ; and Honora was marvelling at her own selfishness in dreading the moment when the little ones would be no longer hers ; when a hurried note of preparation came from Captain Charteris. A slight imprudence had renewed all the mischief, and his patient was lying speechless under a violent attack of inflammation. Another letter, and all was over. A shock indeed ! but in Honora's eyes, Owen Sand- brook had become chiefly the children's father, and their future was what concerned her most. How should she bear to part with her darlings for ever, and to know them brought up in the way that was not good, and which their father dreaded, and when their orphan- hood made her doubly tender over them 1 To little Owen it was chiefly that papa was gone f up there' whither all his hymns and allegories pointed, and at his age, all that he did not actually see was much on a par ; the hope of meeting had been too distant for the extinction of it to affect him very nearly, and he only understood enough to prompt the prettiest and most touching sayings, wondering about the doings of papa, mamma, and little baby among the angels, with as much reality as he had formerly talked of papa among the French. Lucilla heard with more comprehension, but her gay temper seemed to revolt against having sorrow forced on her. She would not listen and would not think; her spirits seemed higher than ever, and Honora HOPES AND FEARS. 55 almost concluded that either she did not feel at all, or that the moment of separation had exhausted all. Her character made Honora especially regret her destiny ; it was one only too congenial to the weeds that were more likely to be implanted, than plucked up, at Castle Blanch. Captain Charteris had written to say that he, and probably his brother, should come to Sandbeach to relieve Miss Charlecote from the care of the children, and she prized each day while she still had those dear little voices about the house. ' Sweet Honey,' said Lucilla, who had been standing by the window, apparently watching the rain, ' do Uncle Charteris and Uncle Kit want us to go away from you V 'I am very much afraid they do, my dear.' I Nurse said, if you would ask them, we might stay,' said Lucilla, tracing the course of a drop with her finger. 'If asking would do any good, my dear,' sighed Honor ; ' but I don't think nurse knows. You see, you belong to your uncles now.' I I wont belong to Uncle Charteris !' cried Lucilla, passionately. ' I wont go to Castle Blanch ! They were all cross to me ; Ratia teased me, and father said it was all their fault I was naughty, and he would never take me there again ! Don't let Uncle Kit go and take me there !' and she clung to her friend, as if the recollection of Uncle Kit's victory by main force hung about her still. 1 1 wont, I wont, my child, if I can help it ; but it will all be as your dear father may have fixed it, and whatever he wishes I know that his little girl will do.' Many a dim hope did Honora revolve, and more than ever did she feel as if a piece of her heart would be taken away, for the orphans fastened themselves upon her, and little Owen stroked her face, and said naughty Uncle Kit should not take them away. She found from the children and nurse that about a year ago, just after the loss of the baby, there had been a most unsuccessful 5G HOPES AND FEARS. visit at Castle Blanch ; father and little ones had been equally miserable there in the separation of the large establishment, and Lucilla had been domineeringly petted by her youngest cousin, Horatia, who chose to regard her as a baby, and coerced her by bodily force, such as was intolerable to so highspirited a child, who was a little woman at home. She had resisted and fallen into dire disgrace, and it was almost with horror that she regarded the place and the cousinhood. Nurse appeared to have some private disgust of her own, as well as to have much resented her children's being convicted of naughtiness, and she spoke strongly in con- fidence to Honora of the ungodly ways of the whole household, declaring that after the advantages she had enjoyed with her dear master, she could not bear to live there, though she might — yes, she must be with the dear children just at first, and she ventured to express strong wishes for their remaining in their present home, where they had been so much im- proved. The captain came alone. He walked in from the inn just before luncheon, with a wearied, sad look about him, as if he had suffered a good deal j he spoke quietly and slowly, and when the children came in, he took them up in his arms and kissed them very tenderly. Lucilla submitted more placably than Honor expected, but the moment they were set down they sprang to their friend, and held by her dress. Then came the meal, which passed off with small efforts at making talk, but with nothing memorable except the captain's exclamation at the end — ' Well, that's the first time I ever dined with you children without a fuss about the meat. Why, Cilly, I hardly know you.' ' I think the appetites are better for the sea air,' said Honor, not that she did not think it a great achievement. ' I'm afraid it has been a troublesome charge,' said the captain, laying his hand on his niece's shoulder, HOPES AND FEARS. 57 which she at once removed, as disavowing his right in her. 1 Oh ! it has made me so happy/ said Honor, hardly trusting her voice ; ' I don't know how to yield it Those understanding eyes of Lucilla's were drinking in each word, but Uncle Kit ruthlessly said — ' There, it's your walking time, children ; you go out now.' Honora followed up his words with her orders, and Lucilla obeyed, only casting another wistful look, as if she knew her fate hung in the scales. It was showing tact such as could hardly have been expected from the little impetuous termagant, and was the best plead- ing for her cause, for her uncle's first observation was — ' A wonder ! Six months back, there would have been an explosion !' ' I am glad you think them improved.' * Civilized beings, not plagues. You have been very good to them;' and as she intimated her own pleasure in them, he continued — ' It will be better for them at Castle Blanch to have been a little broken in ; the change from his indulgence would have been terrible.' 'If it were possible to leave them with me, I should be so happy,' at length gasped Honora, meeting an inquiring dart from the captain's eyes, as he only made an interrogative sound, as though to give himself time to think, and she proceeded in broken sentences — ' If their uncle and aunt did not so very much wish for them — perhaps — I could — ' 1 Well,' said Captain Charteris, apparently so little aided by his thoughts as to see no hope of overcoming his perplexity without expressing it, ' the truth is that, though I had not meant to say anything of it, for I think relations should come first, I believe poor Sandbrook would have preferred it.' And while her colour deepened, and she locked her trembling fingers together to keep them still, he went on. ' Yes ! you can't think how often I called myself a dozen fools for having parted him from his children ! Never held up 58 HOPES AND PEAKS. his head again ! I could get him to take interest in nothing — every child he saw he was only comparing to one or other of them. After the year turned, and he talked of coming home, he was more cheerful ; but strangely enough, for those last days at Hyeres, though he seemed better, his spirits sank unaccountably, and he would talk more of the poor little thing that he lost than of these ! Then he had a letter from you which set him sighing, and wishing they could always have such care ! Altogether, I thought to divert him by taking him on that expedition, but Well, I've been provoked with him many a time, but there was more of the real thing in him than in the rest of us, and I feel as if the best part of our family were gone.' i And this was all % He was too ill to say much after- wards V ' Couldn't speak when he rang in the morning ! AVas gone by that time next day. Now,' added the captain, after a silence, I tell you candidly that my feeling is that the ordinary course is right. I think Charles ought to take the children, and the children ought to be with Charles.' 1 If you think so ' began Honor, with failing hopes. 1 At the same time,' continued he, ' I don't think they'll be so happy or so well cared for as by you, and knowing poor Owen's wishes, I should not feel justi- fied in taking them away, since you are so good as to offer to keep them.' Honor eagerly declared herself much obliged, then thought it sounded ironical. ' Unless,' he proceeded, ' Charles should strongly feel it his duty to take them home, in which case ' 1 Oh, of course I could say nothing.' 1 Very well, then we'll leave it to his decision.' So it remained, and in trembling Honora awaited the answer. It was in her favour that he was ap- pointed to a ship, since he was thus excluded from exercising any supervision over them at Castle Blanch, HOPES AND FEARS. 59 and shortly after, letters arrived gratefully acceding to her request. Family arrangements and an intended journey made her proposal doubly welcome, for the present at least, and Mrs. Charteris was full of polite thanks. Poor little waifs and strays ! No one else wanted them, but with her at least they had a haven of refuge, and she loved them the more ardently for their forlorn condition. Her own as they had never before been ! and if the tenure were uncertain, she prized it doubly, even though, by a strange fatality, she had never had so much trouble and vexation with them as arose at once on their being made over to her ! When all was settled, doubt over, and the routine life begun, Lucilla evidently felt the blank of her vanished hopes, and became fretful and captious, weary of things in general, and without sufficient motive to control her natural taste for the variety of naughtiness ! Honor had not undertaken the easiest of tasks, but she neither shrank from her enterprise nor ceased to love the fiery little flighty sprite, the pleasing torment of her life — she loved her only less than that model of childish sweet- ness, her little Owen. 'Lucy, dear child, don't take your brother there. Owen, dear, come back, don't you see the mud ? you'll sink in.' ' I'm only getting a dear little crab, Sweet Honey,' and the four little feet went deeper and deeper into the black mud. 1 1 can't have it done ! come back, children, I desire, directly.' The boy would have turned, but his sister had hold of his hand. ' Owen, there he is! I'll have him,' and as the crab scuttled sidelong after the retreating tide, on plunged the children. ' Lucy, come here!' cried the unfortunate old hen, as her ducklings took to the black amphibious mass, but not a whit did Lucilla heed. In the ardour of the GO HOPES AND FEARS. chase, on she went, unheeding, leaving her brother sticking half way, where having once stopped, he began to find it difficult to withdraw his feet, and fairly- screamed to ' Sweet Honey' for help. His progress was not beyond what a few long vigorous steps of hers could come up with, but deeply and blackly did she sink, and when she had lifted her truant out of his two holes, the increased weight made her go ankle deep at the first tread, and just at the same moment a loud shriek proclaimed that Lucilla, in her final assault on the crab, had fallen flat on a yielding surface, where each effort to rise sank her deeper, and Honora almost was expecting in her distress to see her disappear altogether, ere the treacherous mud would allow her to come to the rescue. But in that instant of utmost need, ere she could set down the little boy, a gentle- man, with long-legged strides, had crossed the inter- vening space, and was bearing back the young lady from her mud bath. She raised her eyes to thank him. ' Humfrey !' she exclaimed. ' Honor ! so it was you, was it ? I'd no notion of it !' as he placed on her feet the little maiden, en- crusted with mud from head to foot, while the rest of the party were all apparently cased in dark buskins of the same. 1 Come to see me and my children V she said. ' I am ashamed you should find us under such circumstances ! though I don't know what would have become of us otherwise. No, Lucy, you are too- disobedient for any one to take notice of you yet — you must go straight home, and be cleaned, and not speak to Mr. Charlecote till you are quite good. Little Owen, here he is — he was quite led into it. But how good of you to come, Humfrey ; where are you V 1 At the hotel — I had a mind to come and see how you were getting on, and I'd had rather more than usual to do of late, so I thought I would take a holiday.' They walked on talking for some seconds, when })re- HOPES AND FEAES. 61 sently as the squire's hand hung down, a little soft one stole into it, and made him exclaim with a start, ' I thought it was Ponto's nose !' But though very fond of children, he took up his hand, and did not make the slightest response to the sly overture of the small coquette, the effect as Honor well knew of opposition quite as much as of her strong turn for gentlemen. She pouted a little, and then marched on with 'don't care' determination, while Humfrey and Honora began to talk over Hiltonbury affairs, but were soon interrupted by Owen, who, accus- tomed to all her attention, did not understand her being occupied by any one else. ' Honey, Honeypots/ and a pull at her hand when she did not immediately attend, ' why don't the little crabs get black legs like mine V 1 Because they only go where they ought,' was the extremely moral reply of the Squire. ' Little boys aren't meant to walk in black mud.' * The shrimp boys do go in the mud,' shrewdly pleaded Owen, setting Honor off laughing at Humfrey's discomfited look of diversion. 1 It wont do to generalize,' she said, merrily. ' Owen must be content to regard crabs and shrimp boys as privileged individuals.' Owen demanded whether when he was big he might be a shrimp boy, and a good deal of fraternization had taken place between him and Mr. Charlecote before the cottage was reached. It was a very happy day to Honora; there was a repose and trust to be felt in Humfrey's company, such as she had not experienced since she had lost her parents, and the home sense of kindred was very precious. Only women whose chief prop is gone, can tell the value of one who is still near enough to disap- prove without ceremony. The anxiety that Honor felt to prove to her cousin that it was not a bit of romantic folly to have assumed her present charge, was worth more than all the free- G2 HOPES AND FEARS. dom of action in the world. How much she wanted the children to show off to advantage ! how desirous she was that he should not think her injudicious ! yes, and how eager to see him pleased with their pretty looks ! Lucilla came down cleaned, curled, and pardoned, and certainly a heart must have been much less tender than Humfrey Charlecote's not to be touched by the aspect of those two little fair waxen-looking beings in the deepest mourning of orphanhood. He was not slow in making advances towards them, but the maiden had been affronted, and chose to be slyly shy and retiring, retreating to the other side of Miss Wells, and there becoming intent upon her story-book, though many a gleam through her eyelashes betrayed furtive glances at the stranger whom Owen was monopolizing. And then she let herself be drawn out, with the drollest mixture of arch demureness and gracious caprice. Honora had never before seen her with a gentleman, and to be courted was evidently as con- genial an element to her as to a reigning beauty. She was perfectly irresistible to manhood, and there was no doubt, ere the evening was over, that Humfrey thought her one of the prettiest little girls he had ever seen. He remained a week at Sandbeach, lodging at the inn, but spending most of his time with Honor. He owned that he had been unwell, and there certainly was a degree of lassitude about him, though Honor suspected that his real motive in coming was brotherly kindness and desire to see whether she were suffering much from the death of Owen Sandbrook. Having come, he seemed not to know how to go away. He was too fond of children to become weary of their petty exactions, and they both had a sort of passion for him ; he built castles for them on the beach, presided over their rides, took them out boating, and made them fabulously happy. Lucilla had not been so good for weeks, and the least symptom of an outbreak was at once put down by his good-natured ' No, no !' The HOPES AND FEARS. 63 evenings at the cottage with Honora and Miss Wells, music and bright talk, were evidently very refreshing to him, and he put off his departure from day to day, till an inexorable matter of county business forced him off. Not till the day was imminent, did the cousins quit the easy surface of holiday leisure talk. They had been together to the late evening service, and were walking home, when Honora began abruptly, ' Humfrey, I wish you would not object to the children giving me pet names.' ' I did not know that I had shown any objection.' ' As if you did not impressively say Miss Charlecote on every occasion when you mention me to them.' ' Well, and is not it more respectful V 1 That's not what I want. Where the natural tie is wanting, one should do everything to make up for it.' ' And you hope to do so by letting yourself be called Honeypots !' * More likely than by sitting up distant and 'awful to be Miss Ckarlecoted /' 1 Whatever you might be called must become an endearment,' said Humfrey, uttering unawares one of the highest compliments she had ever received, ' and I own I do not like to hear those little chits make so free with your name.' * For my sake, or theirs V 1 For both. There is an old saying about familiarity, and I think you should recollect that, for the children's own good, it is quite as needful to strengthen respect as affection.' 1 And you think I can do that by fortifying myself with Miss Charlecote 1 Perhaps I had better make it Mrs. Honora Charlecote at once, and get a high cap, a rod, and a pair of spectacles, eh? No! if they wont respect me out of a buckram suit, depend upon it they would find out it was a hollow one.' Humfrey smiled. From her youth up, Honor could generally come off in apparent triumph from an argu- 64 HOPES AND FEARS. ment with him, but the victory was not always where the triumph was. 'Well, Humfrey,' she said, after some pause, 'do you think I am fit to be trusted with my two poor children?' There was a huskiness in his tone as he said, ' I am sincerely glad you have the pleasure and comfort of them.' ' I suspect there's a reservation there. But really, Humfrey, I don't think I went out searching for the responsibility in the way that makes it dangerous. One uncle did not want them, and the other could not have them, and it would have been mere barbarity in me not to offer. Besides, their father wished ' and her voice faltered with tears. ' No, indeed,' said Humfrey, eagerly, * I did not in the least mean that it is not the kindest, most generous requital,' and there he broke off, embarrassed by the sincere word that he had uttered, but before she had spoken an eager negative — to what she knew not — he went on. ' And of course I don't mean that you are not one to manage them very well, and all that — only I hope there may not be pain in store — I should not like those people to use you for their nursery gover- ness, and then take the children away just as you had set your heart upon them. Don't do that, Honor,' he added, with an almost sad earnestness. 1 Do what ? Set my heart on them 1 Do you think I can help loving the creatures 1 ' she said, vvith mourn- ful playfulness, ' or that my uncertain tenure does not make them the greater darlings V 1 There are ways of loving without setting one's heart,' was the somewhat grave reply. He seemed to be taking these words as equivalent to transgressing the command that requires all our heart, and she began quickly, ' Oh ! but I didn't mean ' then a sudden thrill crossed her whether there might not be some truth in the accusation. Where had erst the image of Owen Sandbrook stood 1 First HOPES AND FEARS. G5 or second ? Where was now the image of the boy 1 She turned her words into ' Do you think I am doin<* so — in a wrong way ? I Honor, dear, I could not think of wrong where you are concerned,' he said ; ' I was only afraid of your kindness bringing you pain, if you rest your happiness very much upon those children.' I I see,' said Honor, smiling, relieved. ' Thank you, Humfrey ; but you see I can't weigh out my affection in that fashion. They will get it, the rogues !' 1 I'm not afraid, as far as the girl is concerned/ said Humfrey. * You are strict enough with her.' 1 But how am I to be strict when poor little Owen never does anything wrong % ' ' Yes, he is a particularly sweet child.' 1 And not at all wanting in manliness,' cried Honor, eagerly. ' So full of spirit, and yet so gentle. Oh ! he is a child whom it is a privilege to train, and I don't think I have spoilt him yet, do you V 1 No, I don't think you have. He is very obedient in general.' ' Oh ! if he could be only brought up as I wish. And I do think his innocence is too perfect a thing not to be guarded. What a perfect clergyman he would make ! Just fancy him devoting himself to some parish like poor dear old St. Wulstan's — carrying his bright sweetness into the midst of all that black Babel, and spreading light round him ! he always says he will be a clergyman like his papa, and I am sure he must be marked out for it. He likes to look at the sheep on the moors, and talk about the shepherd lead- ing them, and I am sure the meaning goes very deep with him.' She was not going quite the way to show Humfrey that her heart was not set on the boy, and she was checked by hearing him sigh. Perhaps it was for the disappointment he foresaw, so she said, 'Whether I bring him up or not, don't you believe there will be a special care over such a child V vol. I. F 66 HOPES AND FEARS. ' There is a special care over every Christian child, I suppose,' he said ; l and I hope it may all turn out so as to make you happy. Here is your door, good night, and good-by.' ' Why, are not you coming in V 1 1 think not ; I have my things to put up j I must go early to-morrow. Thank you for a very happy week. Good-by, Honor.' There was a shade of disappoint- ment about his tone that she could not quite account for. Dear old Humfrey ! Could he be ageing ? Could he be unwell 1 Did he feel himself lonely 1 Could she have mortified him, or displeased [him ? Honor was not a woman of personal vanity, or a solution would sooner have occurred to her. She knew, upon reflec- tion, that it must have been for her sake that Humfrey had continued single, but it was so inconvenient to think of him in the light of an admirer, when she so much needed him as a brother, that it had hardly ever occurred to her to do so ; but at last it did strike her whether, having patiently waited so long, this might not have been a visit of experiment, and whether he might not be disappointed to find her wrapped up in new interests — slightly jealous, in fact, of little Owen. How good he had been ! Where was the heart that could fail of being touched by so long a course of forbearance and consideration? Besides, Honor had been a solitary woman long enough to know what it was to stand alone. And then how well he would stand in a father's place towards the orphans. He would never decree her parting with them, and Captain Charteris himself must trust him. Yet what a shame it would be to give such a devoted heart nothing better than one worn out, with the power of love, such as he de- served, exhausted for ever. And yet — and yet — some- thing very odd bounded up within her, and told her between shame and exultation, that faithful old Humfrey would not be discontented even with what she had to give. Another time — a little, a very little encouragement, and the pine wood scene would come HOPES AND FEARS. G7 "back again, and then — her heart fainted a little — there should be no concealment — but if she could only have been six months married all at once ! Time went on, and Honora more than once blushed at finding how strong a hold this possibility had taken of her heart, when once she had begun to think of resting upon one so kind, so good, so strong. Every per- plexity, every care, every transaction that made her feel her position as a single woman, brought round the yearning to lay them all down upon him, who would only be grateful to her for them. Every time she wanted some one to consult, hope showed her his face beaming sweetly on her, and home seemed to be again opening to her, that home which might have been hers at any time these twelve years. She quite longed to see how glad the dear, kind fellow would be. Perhaps maidenly shame would have belied her feel- ings in his actual presence, perhaps she would not have shrunk from him, and been more cold than in her un- consciousness, but he came not ; and his absenoe fanned the spark so tardily kindled. What if she had delayed till too late 1 He was a man whose duty it was to many ! he had waited till he was some years past forty — perhaps this had been his last attempt, and he was carrying his addresses elsewhere. Well ! Honora believed she had tried to act rightly, and that must be her comfort — and extremely ashamed of herself she was, to find herself applying such a word to her own sensations in such a case — and very much disliking the notion of any possible lady at Hiltonbury Holt. CHAPTER III. There is a reaper, his name is Death, And with his sickle keen He reaps the bearded grain at a breath, And the flowers that grow between. Longfellow. LETTER from Humfrey ! how Honor's heart fluttered. Would it announce an engagement, or would it promise a visit on which her fate would turn, or would it be only a business letter on her money matters ? Angry at her own trepidation, she opened it. It was none of all these. It told her that Mr. Saville, his brother-in-law, was staying at the Holt with his second wife, aud that he begged her to take advantage of this opportunity to come to visit the old place, adding, that he had not been well, and he wished much to see her, if she could spare a few days to him from her children. Little doubt had she as to the acceptance. The mere words ' going to Hiltonbury,' had power by force of association to make her heart bound. She was a little disappointed that he had not included the children; she feared that it looked as if he were really ill ; but it might be on account of the Savilles, or may be he had that to say to her which oh, nonsense ! Were that the case, Humfrey would not reverse the order of things, and make her come to him. At any rate, the children HOPES AND FEARS. GO should be her first condition. And then she concen- trated her anxieties on his most unusual confession of having been unwell. Humfrey's substantial person was ready to meet her at the station, and the first glance dispelled her nervous tremors, and calmed the tossings of her mind in the habitual sense of trust and reliance. He thanked her for coming, handed her into the carriage, looked after her goods, and seated himself beside her in so com- pletely his ordinary fashion of taking care of her, that she forgot all her intentions of rendering their meeting momentous. Her first inquiry was for his health, but he put it aside with something about feeling very well now, and he looked so healthy, only perhaps a little more hearty and burly, that she did not think any more of the matter, and only talked in happy desultory scraps, now dwelling on her little Owen's charms, now joyfully recognising familiar objects, or commenting upon the slight changes that had taken place. One thing, however, she observed; Humfrey did not stop the horse at the foot of the steep hill where walking had been a matter of course, when he had been a less solid weight than now. ' Yes, Honor,' he said, smiling, ' one grows less merciful as one grows old and short-breathed.' ' You growing old ! you whom I've never left off thinking of as a promising lad, as poor old Mrs. Mervyn used to call you.' He turned his face towards her as if about to say something very seriously, but apparently changing his intention, he said, ' Poor old Mrs. Mervyn, I wonder how she would like the changes at Beauchamp.' 1 Are the Fulmorts doing a great deal V 1 They have cpiite modernized the house, and laid out the garden — what I should call very prettily, if it were not for my love of the old Dutch one. They see a great deal of company, and go on in grand style' 1 How do you get on with them V 'Oh! very well ; I have dined there two or three times. He is a uood-natured fellow enough, and there 70 HOPES AND FEARS. are some nice children, whom I like to meet with their nurses in the woods. I stood proxy for the last one's sponsor ; I could not undertake the office myself.' ' Good-natured !' exclaimed Nora. ' Why, you know how he behaved at St. Wulstan's. No more than 5?. a year would he ever give to any charity, though he was making thousands by those gin-shops.' 1 Probably he thought he was doiDg very liberally.' 1 Ay, there is no hope for St. Wulstan's till people have left off thinking a guinea their duty, and five- very handsome ! and that Augusta Mervyn should have gone and married our bete noire — our lord of gin- palaces — I do think it must be on purpose for you to melt him. I shall set you at him, Huinfrey, next time Mr. Askew writes to me in despair, that some- thing wont go on for lack of means. Only I must be quite sure that you wont give the money yourself, to spare the trouble of dunning.' ' It is not fair to take other people's duties on one- self; besides, as you'll find, Honor, the Holt purse i& not bottomless.' As she would find ! This was a very odd way of making sure of her beforehand, but she was not certain that she did not like it. It was comfortable, and would save much preliminary. The woods were bursting into spring : delicate, deeply creased leaves were joyously emerging to the light on the birches, not yet devoid of the silvery wool where they had been packed, the hazels were fluttering their goslings, the palms were honey sweet with yellow tufts, the primroses peeped out in the banks of moss. I Oh ! Humfrey, this is the great desire of my life fulfilled, to see the Holt in the flush of spring !' I I have always said you cared for the place more than any one.' said Humfrey, evidently gratified, but with an expression which she did not understand. ' As if I did not ! But how strangely differently from my vision my wish has been fulfilled.' HOPES AND FEARS. 71 ' How strangely !' he repeated, with even greater seriousness than had been in her voice. The meadow was bright with spring grass, the cattle grazing serenely as in old times, the garden — ah ! not quite so gay — either it was better in autumn than in spring, or it wanted poor Sarah's hand ; the dogs, not the same individuals, but with much the same manners, dancing round their master — all like, all home. No- thing wanting, but, alas ! the good-natured, narrow- minded old mistress of the house to fret her, and notable Sarah to make her comfortable, and wonder at her eccentric tastes. Ah ! and how much more was wanting the gentle mother who did all the civility and listening, and the father, so happy to look at green woods, read poetry, and unbend his weary bow ! How much more precious was the sight of the one living remnant of those days ! They had a cheerful evening. Mr. Saville had a great deal of old-fashioned Oxford agreeableness ; he was very courtly, but a sensible man, with some native fun and many college stories. After many years of donship, his remote parish was somewhat of a solitude to him, and intercourse with a cultivated mind was as pleasant to him now as the sight of a lady had been in his college days. Honor liked conversation too j and Miss Wells, Lucilla, and Owen had been rather barren in that respect, so there was a great deal of liveliness, in which Humfrey took his full share ; while good Mrs. Saville looked like what she was, her husband's admiring housekeeper. ' Do you take early walks still, Humfrey V asked Honor, as she bade him good night. ' If you do, I shall be quite ready to confront the dew ;' and therewith came a revulsion of the consciousness within. Was this courting him 1 and to her great provocation there arose an uncomfortable blush. 1 Thank you,' he said, with something of a mournful tone, 'I'm afraid I'm past that, Honor. To-morrow, after breakfast — sood ni^ht.' 72 HOPES AND FEARS. Honor was a little alarmed by all this, and designed a conference with the old housekeeper, Mrs. Stubbs, to inquire into her master's health, but this was not at- tainable that night, and she could only go to bed in the friendly old wainscoted room, whose white and gold carved monsters on the mantelpiece were well nigh as familiar as the dove in Woolst one-lane ; but, oh ! how it made her long for the mother whom she used to kiss there. Humfrey was brisk and cheerful as ever at breakfast, devising what his guests would like to do for the day, and talking of some friends whom he had asked to meet Mr. Saville, so that all the anxieties with which Honora had risen were dissipated, and she took her part gaily in the talk. There was something therefore freshly startling to her, when, on rising, Humfrey gravely said, ' Honor, will you come into my study for a little while V The study had always been more of a place for guns and fishing-tackle than for books. It was Humfrey's usual living room when alone, and was of course full besides of justice books, agricultural reports, acts of parliament, piles of papers, little bags of samples of wheat, all in the orderly disorder congenial to the male kind. All this was as usual, but the change that struck her was, that the large red leather lounging chair, hitherto a receptacle for the overflowings of the table, was now wheeled beside the fire, and near it stood a little table with a large print Bible on it, which she well remembered as his mother's. Humfrey set a chair for her by the fire, and seated himself in the easy one, leaning back a little. She had not spoken. Some- thing in his grave preparation somewhat awed her, and she sat upright, watching him. ' It was very kind of you to come, Honor,' he "began ; 1 more kind than you know.' ' I am sure it could be no other than a treat ' He continued, before she could go farther, ' I wished HOPES AND FEARS. To particularly to speak to you. I thought it might perhaps spare you a shock.' She looked at him with a terrified eye. ' Don't be frightened, my dear,' he said, leaning for- ward, ' there is no occasion. Such things must come sooner or later, and it is only that I wished to tell you that I have been having advice for a good many un- comfortable feelings that have troubled me lately.' ' Well f she asked, breathlessly. 1 And Dixon tells me that it is aneurism.' Quick and fast came Honora's breath ; her hands were clasped together ; her eyes cast about with such a piteous, despairing expression, that he started to his feet in a moment, exclaiming — ' Honor ! Honor dear ! don't ! there's no need. I did not think you would feel it in this way !' ■ Feel ! what should I feel if not for you ! Oh ! Humfrey ! don't say it ! you are all that is left me — you cannot be spared !' and as he came towards her, she grasped his hand and clung to him, needing the support which he gave in fear of her fainting. 1 Dear Honor, do not take it thus. 1 am very well now — I dare say I shall be so to the last, and there is nothing terrible to the imagination. I am very thankful for both the preparation and the absence of suffering. Will not you be the same V 1 Yes, you,' said Honora, sitting up again, and look- ing up into his sincere, serene face ; ' I cannot doubt that even this is well for you, but it is all selfishness — just as I was beginning to feel what you are to me.' Humfrey's face lighted up suddenly. ' Then, Honor,' he said, evidently putting strong restraint upon his voice, ' you could have listened to me now.' She bowed her head — the tears were dropping very fast. 'Thank God !' he said, as again he leant back in his chair; and when she raised her eyes again, he sat with his hands clasped, and a look of heavenly felicity on Lis face, raise 1 upwards. 74 HOPES AND FEAES. 1 Oh ! Humfrey ! how thoughtlessly I have trifled away all that might have been the happiness of your life!' ' You never trifled with me,' he said ; ' you have always dealt honestly and straightforwardly, and it is best as it is. Had we been together all this time, the parting might have been much harder. I am glad there are so few near ties to break.' 1 Don't say so ! you, loved by every one, the tower of strength to all that is good !' 'Hush, hush ! nonsense, Honor 1' said he, kindly. ' I think I have tried/ he went on, gravely, ' not to fall behind the duties of my station ; but that would be a bad dependence, were there not something else to look to. As to missing me, the world did very well without me before I was born ; it will do as well when I am gone ; and as to you, my poor Honor, we have been very little together of late.' 1 I had you to lean on.' I Lean on something stronger,' he said ; and as she could not govern her bitter weeping, he went on — 1 Ah ! I am the selfish one now, to be glad of what must make it the worse for you ; but if one thing were wanting to make me happy, it was to know that at last you cared for me.' ' I should be a wretch not to do so. So many years of patience and forbearance ! Nobody could be like you.' I I don't see that,' said Humfrey, simply. ' While you continued the same, I could not well turn my mind to any one else, and I always knew I was much too loutish for you.' 1 Now, Humfrey ! ' ' Yes, there is no use in dwelling on this,' he said, quietly. ' The reason I asked you to be kind enough to come here, is that I do not think it well to be far from home under the circumstances. There, don't look frightened — they say it may very possibly not come for several months or a year. I hope to have time to HOPES AND EEAES. 75 put things a little in order for you, and that is one reason I wished to see you ; I thought I could make the beginning easier to you.' But Honora was far too much shaken for such a turn to the conversation ; she would not mortify him, but she could neither listen nor understand. He, who was so full of stalwart force, a doomed man, yet calm and happy under his sentence ; he, only discovered to be so fondly loved in time to give poignancy to the parting, and yet rejoicing himself in the poor, tardy affection that had answered his manly constancy too late ! His very calmness and stillness cut her to the heart, and after some ineffectual attempts to recover herself, she was forced to take refuge in her own room. Weeping, praying, walking restlessly about, she remained there till luncheon time, when Humfrey himself came up to knock at her door. ' Honor dear !' he said, ' come down — try to throw it off — Saville does not wish his wife to be made aware of it while she is here, lest she should be nervous. You must not betray me — and indeed there is no reason for being overcome. Nothing vexes me but seeing you so. Let us enjoy your visit, pray.' To be commanded to bear up by a strong, manly character so much loved and trusted was perhaps the chief support she could receive ; she felt that she must act composure, and coming down in obedience to her cousin, she found the power of doing so. Nay, as she saw him so completely the bright, hospitable host, talking to Mrs. Saville about her poultry, and carrying on quiet jokes with Mr. Saville, she found herself drawn away from the morning's conversation, or re- membering it like a dream that had passed away. They all went out together, and he was apparently as much interested in his young wheat as ever, and even more anxious to make her look at and appreciate crops and cattle, speaking about them in his hearty, simple way, as if his pleasure in them was not flagging, perhaps because it had never been excessive. He bad 76 HOPES AND FEARS. always sat loose to them, and thus they could please and occupy him even when the touch of the iron hand had made itself felt. And again she saw him engrossed in arranging some petty matter of business for one of the poor people ; and when they had wandered down to the gate, pelting the turn-out of the boys' school with a pocket full of apples that he said he had taken up while in confer- ence with the housekeeper, laughing and speaking merrily as the varlets touched their caps to him, and always turning to her for sympathy in his pleasures of success or of good nature, as though her visit were thorough enjoyment to him. And so it almost was to her. The influence of the dear old scenes was something, and his cheeriness was a great deal more ; the peaceful present was not ha- rassed or disturbed, and the foreboding, on which she might not dwell, made it tiie more precious. That slow wandering about the farm and village, and the desul- tory remarks, the old pleasant reminiscences, the in- quiries arid replies about the villagers and neighbours had a quiet charm about them, as free and happy as when, youth and child, they had frisked through the same paths ; nay, the old scenes so brought back the old habits that she found herself discoursing to him in her former eager fashion upon the last historical cha- racter who had bitten her fancy. ' My old way,' she said, catching herself up ; ' dinning all this into your ears as usual, when you don't care.' ' Don't I V said Humfrey, with his sincere face turned on her in all its sweetness. ' Perhaps I never showed you how much, Honor ; and I beg your pardon, but I would not have been without it !' The Savilles came up, while Honor's heart was brim- full at this compliment, and then it was all common- place again, except for that sunset light, that rich ra- diance of the declining day, that seemed unconsciously to pervade all Humfrey's cheerfulness, and to give his mirth and playfulness a solid happiness. HOPES AND PEAKS. 77 Some mutual friends of long standing came to dinner, and the evening was not unlike tlie last, quite as free from gloom, and Mr. Charlecote as bright as ever, evi- dently taking his full share in county business, and giving his mind to it. Only Honor noted that he quietly avoided an invitation to a very gay party which was proposed ; and his great ally, Sir John Raymond, seemed rather vexed with him for not taking part in some new and expensive experiment in farming, and asked incre- dulously whether it were true that he wished to let a farm that he had kept for several years in his own hands. Humfrey agreed that it was so, and said something farther of wishing to come to terms quickly. She guessed that this was for her sake, when she thought all this over in her bedroom. Such was the effect of his calmness that it had not been a day of agitation. There was more peace than tumult in her mind as she lay down to rest, sad, but not analysing her sadness, and lulled by the present into putting aside the future. So she slept quietly, and awoke with a weight at her heart, but softened and sustained by reverent awe and obedience towards her cousin. When they met, he scanned her looks with a bright, tender glance, and smiled commendation when he de- tected no air of sleeplessness. He talked and moved as though his secret were one of untold bliss, and this was not far from the truth ; for when, after breakfast, he asked her for another interview in the study, they were no sooner alone than he rubbed his hands together with satisfaction, saying — ' So, Honor, you could have had me after all !' looking at her with a broad, undis- guised, exulting smile. 'Oh! Humfrey!' 1 Don't say it if you don't like it ; but you can't guess the pleasure it gives me. I could hardly tell at first what was making me so happy when I awoke this morning.' ' I can't see how it should, ' said Honor, her eyes 78 HOPES AND FEARS. swimming with tears, ' never to have met with any gratitude for 1 have used you too ill — never valued, scarcely even believed in what you lavished on poor silly me — and now, when all is too late, you are glad ' ' Glad ! of course I am,' returned Humfrey ; ' I never wished to obtrude my feelings on you after I knew how it stood with you. It would have been a shame. Your choice went far above me. For the rest, if to find you disposed towards me at the last makes me so happy,' and he looked at her again with beaming affec- tion, ' how could I have borne to leave you if all had been as I wished ? No, no, it is best as it is. You lose nothing in position, and you are free to begin the world again, not knocked down or crushed.' ' Don't talk so, Humfrey ! It is breaking my heart to think that I might have been making you happy all this time.' 'Heaven did not will it so,' said Humfrey, reve- rently, ' and it might not have proved what we fancy. You might not have found such a clodhopper all you wanted, and my stupidity might have vexed you, though now you fancy otherwise. And I have had a very happy life — indeed I have, Honor; I never knew the time when I could not say with all my heart, " The lot is fallen unto me in a fair ground, yea, I have a goodly heritage." Everybody and everything, you and all the rest, have been very kind and friendly, and I have never wanted for happiness. It has been all right. You could fulfil your duty as a daughter un- dividedly, and now I trust those children will be your object and comfort — only, Honor, not your idols. Perhaps it was jealousy, but I have sometimes fancied that your tendency with their father ' 1 Oh ! how often I must have given you pain.' ' I did not mean that, but, as I say, perhaps I was no fair judge. One thing is well, the relations will be much less likely to take them from you when you are living here.' HOPES AND FEARS. 79 She held up her hands in deprecation. ' Honor, dear,' he said pleadingly, yet with authority, c pray let me talk to you. There are things which I wish very much to say j indeed, without which, I could hardly have asked for this indulgence. It is for your own sake, and that of the place and people.' • Poor place, poor people.' He sighed, but then turned his smiling contenance towards her again. ' No one else can care for it or them as you do, Honor. Our " goodly heritage*' — it was so when I had it from my father, and I don't think it has got worse under my charge, and I want you to do your duty by it, Honor, and hand it on the same, whoever may come after.' 1 For your sake, Humfrey — even if I did not love it. But ' ' Yes, it is a duty,' proceeded Humfrey, gravely. ' It may seem but a bit of earth after all, but the owner of a property has a duty to let it do its share in produc- ing food, or maybe in not lessening the number of plea- sant things here below. I mean, it is as much my office to keep my trees and woods fair to look at, as it is not to let my land lie waste.' She had recovered a good deal while he was moraliz- ing, and became interested. ' I did not suspect you of the poetical view, Humfrey,' she said. * It is plain sense, I think,' he said, ' that to grub up a fine tree, or a pretty bit of copse without fair reason, only out of eagerness for gain, is a bit of selfishness. But mind, Honor, you must not go and be romantic. You mud have the timber marked when the trees arc injuring each other.' 1 Ah ! I've often done it with you.' ' I wish you would come out with me to-day. I'm going to the outwood, I could show you.' She agreed readily, almost forgetting the where- fore. 'And above all, Honor, you must not be romantic about wages! It is not right by other propriel 80 HOPES AND FEAES. nor by the people themselves. No one is ever the better for a fancy price for his labour.' She could almost have smiled; he was at once so well pleased that she and his ' goodly heritage' should belong to each other, so confident in her love and good intentions towards it, and so doubtful of her discretion and management. She promised with all her heart to do her utmost to fulfil his wishes. ' After all,' he said, thoughtfully, ' the best thing for the place — ay, and for you and every one, would be for you to marry; but there's little chance of that, 'I suppose, and it is of no use to distress you by mention- ing it. I've been trying to put out of my hands things that I don't think you will be able to manage, but I should like you to keep up the home farm, and you may pretty well trust to Brooks. I dare say he will take his own way, but if you keep a reasonable check on him, he will do very well by you. He is as honest as the day, and very intelligent. I don't know that any one could do better for you.' ' Oh, yes ; I will mind all he tells me.' ' Don't show that you mind him. That is the way to spoil him. Poor fellow, he has been a good servant to me, and so have they all. It is a thing to be very thankful for to have had such a set of good servants.' Honora thought, but did not say that they could not help being good with such a master. He went on to tell her that he had made Mr. Saville his executor. Mr. Saville had been for many years before leaving Oxford bursar of his college, and was a thorough man of business, whom Humfrey had fixed upon as the person best qualified to be an adviser and assistant to Honora, and he only wished to know whether she wished for any other selection, but this was nearly overpowering her again, for since her father's death, she had leant on no one but Humfrey himself. One thing more he had to say. ' You know, Honor, this place will be entirely your own. You and I seem HOPES AND FEARS. SI to be the last of the Charlecotes, and even if we -were not, there is no entail. You may found orphan asylums with it, or leave it to poor Sandbrook's chil- dren, just as you please.' 'Oh, I could not do that,' cried Honor, with a sudden revulsion. Love them as she might, Owen Sandbrook's children must not step into Humfrey Charlecote's place. ' And, besides,' she added, ' I want my little Owen to be a clergyman; I think he can be what his father missed.' ' Well, you can do exactly as you think fit. Only what I wanted to tell you is, that there may be another branch, elder than our own. Not that this need make the least difference, for the Holt is legally ours. It seems that our great grandfather had an elder son — a wild sort of fellow — the old people used to tell stories of him. He went on, in short, till he was dis- inherited, and went off to America. What became of him afterwards I never could make out ; but I have sometimes questioned how I should receive any of his heirs if they should turn up some day. Mind you, you need not have the slightest scruple in holding your own. It was made over to my grandfather by will, as 1 have made it sure for you ; but I do think that when you come to think how to dispose of it, the possibility of the existence of these Charlecotes might be taken into consideration.' 1 Yankee Charlecotes !' she said. 1 Never mind ; most likely nothing of the kind will ever come in your way, and they have not the slightest claim on you. I only threw it out, because I thought it right just to speak of it.' After this commencement, Humfrey, on this and the ensuing days, made it his business to make his cousin acquainted with the details of the management of the estate. He took such pleasure in doing so, and was so anxious she should comprehend, that she was forced to give her whole attention ; and, putting all else aside, was tranquilly happy in thus gratifying him. VOL. I. G 82 HOPES AND FEARS. Those orderly ranges of conscientious accounts were no small testimony to the steady, earnest manner in which Humfrey had set himself to his duty from his early youth, and to a degree they were his honest pride too — he liked to show how good years had made up for bad years, and there was a tenderness in the way he patted their red leather backs to make them even on their shelves, as if they had been good friends to him. No, they must not run into confusion. The farms and the cottages — the friendly terms of his intercourse, and his large-handed but well-judging almsgiving — all revealed to her more of his solid worth ; and the simplicity that regarded all as the merest duty touched her more than all. Many a time did she think of the royal Norwegian brothers, one of whom went to tie a knot in the willows on the banks of the Jordan, while the other remained at home to be the blessing of his people, and from her broken idol wanderer, she turned to worship her steadfast worker at home, as far as his humility and homeliness made it possible, and valued each hour with him as if each moment were of diamond price. And he was so calmly happy, that there was no grieving in his pre- sence. It had been a serene life of simple fulfilment of duty, going ever higher, and branching wider, as a good man's standard gradually rises the longer he lives, the one great disappointment had been borne without sourness or repining, and the affections, deprived of the home channel, had spread in a beneficent flood, and blessed all around. So, though, like every sinful son of man, sensible of many an error, many an infirmity, still the open loving spirit was childlike enough for that blessed sense; for that feeling which St. John expresses as ' if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence towards God ;' confidence in the infinite Merits that atone for the errors of weakness, and occasional wanderings of will; confidence that made the hope a sure and steadfast one, and these sentenced weeks a land of Beulah, where Honora's tardy re- HOPES AND FEARS. 83 sponse to his constant love could be greeted and valued as the precious fulfilment of long-cherished wishes, not dashed aside as giving bitterness to his departure. The parting was broken by a promise that Honora should again meet the Savilles at the Holt in the autumn. She assured herself that there was no danger before that time, and Humfrey spoke cheerfully of looking forward to it, and seemed to have so much to do, and to be so well equal to doing it, that he would not let them be concerned at leaving him alone. To worship Humfrey was an easier thing at a dis- tance than when beside him. Honora came back to Sandbeach thoroughly restless and wretched, reproach- ing herself with having wasted such constant, priceless affection, haunted by the constant dread of each morning's post, and longing fervently to be on the spot. She had self-command enough not to visit her dejection on the children, but they missed both her spirits and her vigilance, and were more left to their nurse ; and her chief solace was in long solitary walks, or in evening talks with Miss Wells. Kind Miss Wells perhaps guessed how matters stood between the two last Charlecotes, but she hinted not her sus- picions, and was the unwearied recipient of all Honora's histories of his symptoms, of his cheerfulness, and his solicitude for her. Those talks did her good, they set the real Humfrey before her, and braced her to strive against weakness and despondence. And then the thought grew on her, why, since they were so thoroughly each other's, why should they not marry, and be together to the last? Why should he be left to his solitude for this final year ? why should their meetings be so prudentially chape- roned? Suppose the disease should be lingering, bow hard it was that she should be absent, and he left to servants ! She could well imagine why he had not proposed it, he was too unselfish to think posing her to the shock, or making her a widow, G 2 S4< HOPES AND FEARS. but how came she never to have thought of it 1 She stood beyond all ordinary rules — she had nothing worldly to gain nor to lose by being his wife for these few remaining months — it surely was her part, after the way she had treated him, to meet him more than half- wav — s he alone could make the proposal — she would — she must. And oh ! if the doctors should be mistaken ! So spoke the midnight dream — oh ! how many times. But what said cool morning 1 Propriety had risen up, grave decorum objecting to what would shock Humfrey, ay, and was making Honor's cheeks tingle. Yes, and there came the question whether he would not be more distressed than gratified — he who wished to detach himself from all earthly ties — whether he might not be pained and displeased at her thus clinging to him — nay, were he even gratified, might not emotion and agitation be fatal 1 Many, many times was all this tossed over in Honor's mind. Often the desperate resolution was definitively taken, and she had seen herself quietly meeting him at dear old Hiltonbury church, with his grave sweet eyes resting satisfied upon her as his darling. As often had the fear of offending him, and the instinct of woman's dignity turned her away when her heart was beating high. That autumn visit — then she would decide. One look as if he wished to retain her, the least air of feebleness or depression, and she would be determined, even if she had to waive all feminine re- serves, and set the matter in hand herself. She thought Mr. Saville would highly approve and assist ; and having settled into this period for her project, she set herself in some degree at rest, and moved and spoke with so much more of her natural ease, that Miss Wells was consoled about her, and knew not how entirely heart and soul were at Hiltonbury, with such devotion as had never even gone to the back woods. To meet the Savilles at Hiltonbury in the autumn ! Yes — Honor met Mr. Saville, but not as she had in- tended. By that time the stroke had fallen, just as HOPES AXD FEARS. 85 she had become habituated to the expectation, just as her promised visit had assumed a degree of proximity, and her heart was beating at the prospect of the results. Humfrey had been scarcely ailing all the summer, he had gone about his occupations with his usual cheerful- ness, and had taken part in all the village festivals as genially as ever. Only close observers could have noticed a slackness towards new undertakings, a gradual putting off of old ones, a training of those, dependent on his counsel, to go alone, a preference for being alone in the evening, a greater habit of stillness and contemplation. September had come, and he had merrily sent off two happy boy-sportsmen with the keeper, seeing them over the first field himself, and leaning against the gate, as he sent them away in convulsions of laughing at his droll auguries. The second was a Sunday, a lovely day of clear deep blue sky, and rich sunshine laughing upon the full wealth of harvest fields — part fallen before the hand of the reaper, part waving in their ripe glowing beauty, to which he loved to liken Honora's hair — part in noble redundant shocks of corn in full season. Brooks used afterwards to tell how he overtook the squire slowly strolling to church on that beauteous autumnal morning, and how he paused to remark on the glory of the harvest, and to add, ' Keep the big barn clear, Brooks — let us have all the women and children in for the supper this time — and I say — send the spotted heifer down to-morrow to old Boycotts, instead of his cow that died. With such a crop as this, one can stand something. And,' said Brooks, ' Thank God for it ! was as plain written on his face as ever I saw !' It was the first Sunday in the month, and there was full service. Hiltonbury church had one of those old-fashioned altar-mils which form three sides of a square, and where it was the custom that at the words 1 Draw near with faith,' the earliest communicants 86 HOPES AND FEARS. should advance to the rail and remain till their place was wanted by others, and that the last should not return to their seats till the service was concluded. Mr. Charlecote had for many years been always the first parishioner to walk slowly up the matted aisle, and kneel beside the wall, under the cumbrous old tables of Commandments. There, on this day, he knelt as usual, and harvest labours tending to thin the number of communicants, the same who came up first remained to the end, joined their voices in the Eucha- ristic Lord's Prayer and Angelic Hymn, and bowed their heads at the blessing of the peace that passeth all understanding. It was not till the rest were moving away, that the vicar and his clerk remarked that the squire had not risen. Another look, and it was plain that he had sunk somewhat forward on his folded arms, and was only supported by the rail and the wall. The vicar hastily summoned the village doctor, who had not yet left the church. They lifted him, and laid him along on the cushioned step where he had been kneeling, but motion and breath were gone, the strong arms were helpless, and the colour had left the open face. Taken at once from the heavenly Feast on earth to the glory above, could this be called sudden death ! There he lay on the altar step, with hands crossed on his breast, and perfectly blessed repose on his manly countenance, sweetened and ennobled in its stillness, and in every lineament bearing the impress of that Holy Spirit of love who had made it a meet temple. What an unpremeditated lying in state was that ! as by ones and twos, beneath the clergyman's eye, the villagers stole in with slowly, heavily falling tread to gaze in silent awe on their best friend, some sobbing and weeping beyond control, others with grave, almost stolid tranquillity, or the murmured ' He was a gentle- man,' which, in a poor man's mouth, means l he was a just man and patient, the friend of the weak and poor.' HOPES AND FEARS. S7 His farmers and his own labourers put their shoulders to bear him once more to his own house, through his half-gathered crops — The hand of the reaper Takes the ears that are hoary 7 But the voice of the weeper Wails manhood in glory. No, bewail him not. It was glory, indeed, but the glory of early autumn, the garnering of the shock of corn in full season. It was well done of the vicar that a few long, full-grained ears of wheat were all that was laid upon his breast in his coffin. There Honora saw them. The vicar, Mr. Hender- son, had written to her at once, as Humfrey had long ago charged him to do, enclosing a letter that he had left with him for the purpose, a tender, soothing fare- well, and an avowal such as he could never have spoken of the blessing that his attachment to her had been, in drawing his mind from the narrowness to which he might have been liable, and in elevating the tone of his views and opinions. She knew what he meant — it was what he had caught from her youthful enthusiasm, second-hand from Owen Sandbrook. Oh ! what vivid, vigorous truth not to have been weakened in the transit through two such natures, but to have done its work in the strong, practical mind able and candid enough to adopt it even thus filtered ! There were a few words of affectionate commenda- tion of his people and his land into her keeping, and a parting blessing ; and, lastly, written as a postscript — with a blot as if it had been written with hesitation — ' Little children, keep yourselves from idols !' It was not bitter weeping. It was rather the sense of utter vacancy and hopelessness, with but one fixed purpose — that she would see his face again, and be the nearest to him when he was laid in the grave. She hastily wrote to the housekeeper and to the clergyman that she was coming, and Miss Wells's kind oppo.^ition SS HOPES AND FEARS. only gave her just wilfulness and determination enough to keep her spirit from sinking. So she travelled alone, and came to Hiltonbury in the sunset, as the ' last long wains ' were slowly bearing their loads of wheat into the farmyard, the waggoners walking dejectedly beside them. Mr. Saville had come before her, and was at the door to receive her. She could not very well bear the presence of any one, nor the talk of cold-blooded arrangements. It seemed to keep away the dreamy living with Humfrey, and was far more dreary than the feeling of desolateness, and when they treated her as mistress of the house that was too intolerable. And yet it was worth some- thing, too, to be the one to authorize that harvest supper in the big barn, in the confidence that it would be anything but revelry. Every one felt that the day was indeed a Harvest Home. The funeral, according to his expressed wishes, was like those of the farmers of the parish ; the coffin borne by his own labourers in their white round frocks ; and the labourers were the expected guests for whom provision was made, but far and wide from all the country round, though harvest was at the height, came farmers and squires, poor men and rich, from the peer and county member down to the poor travelling hawker — all had met the sunny sympathy of that smile, all had been aided and befriended, all felt as if a prop, a castle of strength were gone. Charlecotes innumerable rested in the chancel, and the last heir of the line was laid beneath the same flag where he had been placed on that last Sunday, the spot where Honor might kneel for many more, meeting him in spirit at the feast, and looking to the time when the cry should be, ' Put ye in the sickle, for the harvest is come.' But ere she could look in thorough hope for that time, another page of Honor's life must be turned, and an alloy, as yet unknown to herself, must be purged from her heart. The last gleam of her youthful sun- HOPES AND FEARS. 89 shine had faded with Humfrey ; but youth is but a fraction of human existence, and there were further phases to be gone through and lessons to be learnt ; although she was feeling as if all were over with her in this world, and neither hope, love, nor protection were left her, nor any interest save cherishing Humfrey Charlecote's memory, as she sat designing the brass tablet which was to record his name and age in old English illuminated letters, surrounded by a border of ears of corn and grapes. CHAPTER IV. The glittering grass, with dewstars bright, Is all astir with twinkling light ; What pity that such fair array In one brief hour should melt away. Rev. T. "Whytehead. te3>^ ftyBerg HIS is a stroke of good luck !' said Mr. • Charteris. ' We must not, on any ac- count, remove the Sandbrook children from Miss Charlecote ; she has no re- lations, and will certainly make the boy her heir.' 1 She will marry !' said his wife. ' Some fashionable preacher will swallow her red hair. She is just at the age for it !' 1 Less likely when she has the children to occupy her.' ' Well, you'll have them thrown on your hands yet !' ' The chance is worth trying for, though ! I would not interfere with her on any account.' 1 Oh, no, nor I ! but I pity the children.' 'There, Master Owen, be a good boy, and don't worry. Don't you see, I'm putting up your things to go home.' ' Home 1' the light glittered in Lucilla's eyes. 'Is it Wrap worth, nursey f ' Dear me, Miss, not Wrapworth. That's given away, you know ; but it's to Hiltonbury you are going — such a grand place, which if Master Owen is only a dear good boy, will all belong to him one of these days.' HOPES AND FEARS. 91 4 Will there be a pony to ride on Y asked Owen. ' Oh, yes — if you'll only let those stockings alone — there'll be ponies, and carriages, and horses, and every- thing a gentleman can have, and all for my own dear little Master Owen !' 1 1 don't want to go to Hiltonbury,' said Lucilla ; ' I want to go home to the river and the boat, and see Mr. Prendergast and the black cow.' 1 I'll give you a black cow, Cilly,' said Owen, strut- ting about. * Is Hiltonbury bigger than the Castle V ' Oh, ever so big, Master Owen ; such acres of wood, Mr. Jones says, and all your dear cousin's, and sure to be your own in time. What a great gentleman you will be, to be sure, dining thirty gentlefolks twice a ■week, as they say poor Mr. Charlecote did, and driving four fine horses to your carriage like a gentleman. And then you wont forget poor old nursey-pursey.' ' Oh, no, nurse ; I'll give you a ride in my carriage !' Honora in her listless state had let Mr. Saville think for her, and passively obeyed him when he sent her back to Sandbeach to wind up her affairs there, while he finished off the valuations and other painful busi- ness at the Holt, in which she could be of little use, since all she desired was to keep everything as it was. She was anxious to return as soon as possible, so as to take up the reins before there had been time for the relaxation to be felt, the only chance she felt of her being able to fulfil his charge. The removal, the bustle, the talking things over with Miss Wells, and the sight of the children did much to restore her, and her old friend rejoiced to see that necessary occupation was tending to make her time pass more cheerfully than she perhaps knew. As to the dear old City dwelling : it might have fetched an immense price, but only to become a ware- house, a measure that would have seemed to Honor little short of sacrilege. To let it, in such a locality was impossible, so it must remain unavailable capital, 9:3 HOPES AND FEARS. and Honora decided on leaving her old housekeeper therein, with a respectable married niece, who would inhabit the lower regions, and keep the other rooms in order, for an occasional stay in London. She would have been sorry to cut herself off from a month of London in the spring, and the house might farther be useful to friends who did not object to the situation; or could be lent now and then to a curate; and she could well afford to keep it up, so she thought herself justified in following her inclination, and went up for three mournful days of settling matters there, and packing books and ornaments till the rooms looked so dismantled that she could not think how to face them again. It was the beginning of October when she met Miss Wells, children, and luggage at the station, and fairly was on her way to her home. She tried to call it so, as a duty to Humfrey, but it gave her a pang every time, and in effect she felt far less at home than when he and Sarah had stood in the doorway to greet the arrivals. She had purposely fixed an hour when it would be dark, so that she might receive no painful wel- come; she wished no one to greet her, she had rather they were mourning for their master. She had more than once shocked Miss Wells by declaring heiresses to be a mistake ; and yet, as she always owned, she could not have borne for any one else to have had the Holt. Fortunately for her, the children were sleepy, and were rather in a mazy state when lifted out and set on their legs in the wainscoted hall, and she sent them at once, with nurse to the cheerful room that Humfrey's little visitors had saved from becoming disused. Miss Wells's fond vigilance was a little oppressive, but she gently freed herself from it, and opened the study door. She had begged that as little change as possible might be made ; and there stood, as she had last seen them, the large leathern chair, the little table, the big Bible, and in it the little faded marker she had herself constructed for his twenty-first birthday, when her HOPES AXD FEARS. 93 powers of making presents had not equalled her will. Yet what costly gift could have fulfilled its mission like that one? She opened the heavy book at the place. It was at the first lesson for the last day of his life, the end of the prophet Hosea, and the first words her eyes fell upon were the glorious prophecy — ' I will redeem them from death, I will ransom them from the power of the grave.' Her heart beat high, and she stood half musing, half reading: 'They that dwell under His shadow shall return ; they shall revive as the corn, and grow as the vine.' How gentle and refreshing the cadence ! A longing rose up in her to apply those latter words more closely, by placing them on his tablet ; she did not think they would shock his humility, a consideration which had withheld her from choosing other passages of which she always thought in connexion with him. Another verse, and she read : ' Ephraim shall say, What have I to do any more with idols?' It brought back the postscript. Kind Humfrey must have seen strong cause before he gave any reproof, least of all to her, and she could take his word that the fault had been there. She felt certain of it when she thought of her early devotion to Owen Sandbrook, and the utter blank caused by his defection. Nay, she believed she had begun to idolize Humfrey himself, but now, at her age, chastened, desponding, with nothing before her save the lonely life of an heiress old maid, counting no tie of blood with any being, what had she to engross her affections from the true Object? Alas ! Honora's heart was not feeling that Object sufficient ! Conscientious, earnest, truly loving goodness, and all connected with it ; striving as a faithful, dutiful woman to walk rightly, still the personal love and trust were not yet come. Spent as they had been upon props of earth, when these were taken away the tendrils hung down drearily, unemployed, not fastening on the true support. Not that she did not kneel beside that little table, 94 HOPES AND FEARS. as in a shrine, and entreat earnestly for strength and judgment to do her duty faithfully in her new station, so that Hunifrey's charge might be fulfilled, and his people might not suffer ; and this done, and her homage paid to his empty throne, she was better able to satisfy her motherly friend by her deportment for the remain- der of the evening, and to reply to the welcome of the weeping Mrs. Stubbs. By one of Huinfrey's wise acts of foresight, his faithful servant, Reeves, had been pro- vided for as the master of the Union, whither it was certain he would carry the same milk of human kind- ness as had been so plentiful at Hiltonbury, and the Holt was thus left free for Honora's Mr. Jones, with- out fear of clashing, though he was divided between pride in his young lady's ownership of a ' landed estate/ and his own dislike to a country residence. Honora did not sleep soundly. The place was too new, and yet too familiar, and the rattling of the win- dows, the roaring of the wind in the chimney, and the creaking of the vane, without absolutely wakening her, kept her hearing alive continually, weaving the noises into some harassing dream that Humfrey's voice was calling to her, and hindrances always keeping her from him ; and then of Lucilla and Owen in some imminent peril, whence she shrieked to him to save them, and then remembered he would stretch out his hand no more. Sounder sleep came at last, towards morning, and far later than her usual hour she was wakened by a drumming upon her door, and the boy and girl dashed in, radiant with excitement at the novelty of the place. ' Sweet Honey ! Sweet Honey dear, do get up and see. There's a rocking-horse at the end of the passage.' 1 And there's a real pony out in the field.' ' There are cows.' ' There's a goat and a little kid, and I want to play with it, and I may, for it is all mine and yours.' < All yours ! Owen, boy,' repeated Honora, sitting up in surprise. ' Nursey said it was all to be Owen's,' said Lucilla. HOPES AXD FEARS. 95 1 And she said I should be as grand a gentleman as poor Mr. Charlecote or uncle Charteris,' proceeded Owen, ' and that I should go out hunting in a red coat, on a beautiful horse ; but I want to have the kid now, please Sweet Honey.' 'Nurse does not know anything about it,' said Honora, much annoyed that such an idea should have been suggested in such a manner. ' I thought my little Owen wished for better things — I thought he was to be like his papa, and try to be a good shepherd, praising God and helping people to do right.' ' But can't I wear a red coat too V said Owen, wist- fully. 1 No, my dear ; clergymen don't go out hunting ; or how could they teach the poor little children f ' Then I wont be a clergyman.' This was an inconvenient and most undesirable turn ; but Honor's first object must be to put the right of heirship out of the little head, and she at once began — ' Nurse must have made a mistake, my dear; this place is your home, and will be always so, I hope, while it is mine, but it must not be your own, and you must not think it will. My little boy must work for himself and other people, and that's better than having houses and lands given to him.' Those words touched the pride in Lucilla's compo- sition, and she exclaimed — ' I'll work too;' but the self- consequence of proprietorship had affected her brother more strongly, and he repeated, meditatively, 'Jones said, not mine while she was alive. Jones was cross.' There might not be much in the words, child us he was, but there was something in his manner of eyeing her which gave her acute, unbearable pain — a look as if she stood in his way and crossed his importance. It was but a baby fit of temper, but she was in no frame to regard it calmly, and with an alteration of counte- nance that went to his heart, she exclaimed — ' Can that be my little Owen, talking as if he wanted his cousin 96 HOPES AND FEARS. Honor dead and out of the way ? We had better never have come here if you are to leave off loving me.' Quick to be infected by emotion, the child's arms were at once round her neck, and he was sobbing out that he loved his Sweet Honey better than anything ; nurse was naughty ; Jones was naughty ; he wouldn't hunt, he wouldn't wear a red coat, he would teach little children just like lambs, he would be like dear papa ; anything the poor little fellow could think of he poured out with kisses and entreaties to know if he were naughty still ; while his sister, after her usual fashion on such occasions, began to race up and down the room with paroxysms, sometimes of stamping, sometimes of something like laughter. Some minutes passed before Honora could compose herself, or soothe the boy, by her assurances that he was not to blame, only those who put things in his head that he could not understand ; and it was not till after much tender fondling that she had calmed him enough for his morning devotions. No sooner were these over than he looked up and said, while the tears still glazed his cheeks, ' Sweet Honey, I'll tell nurse and Mr. Jones that I'm on pilgrimage to the Eastern land, and I'll not turn into by-ways after red coats and little kids to vex you.' Whether Owen quite separated fact from allegory might have been doubtful to a more prosaic mind than Honora's, but he had brought this dreamy strain with him from his father, and she thought it one of his great charms. She had been obliged to leave him to himself much more than usual of late, and she fervently resolved to devote herself with double energy to watch- ing over him, and eradicating any weeds that might have been sown during her temporary inattention. He clung so fast to her hand, and was so much delighted to have her with him again, so often repeating that she must not go away again, that the genuineness of his affection could not be doubted, and probably he would only retain an impression of having been led to HOPES AND FEARS. 97 say something very shocking, and the alarm to his sen- sitive conscience would hinder him from ever even trying to remember what it was. She spoke, however, to Nurse, telling her that the subject must never be mentioned to the children, since it was by no means desirable for them, and besides she had no intention of the kind. She wished it to be distinctly understood that Master Owen was not to be looked upon as her heir. ' Very true, ma'am, it is too soon to be talking of such things yet, and I must say, I was as sorry as pos- sible to find that the child had had it named to him. People will talk, you see, Miss Charlecote, though I am sure so young a lady as you are ' ' That has nothing to do with it,' said Honora ; ' I consider nothing so bad for a child as to be brought up to expectations to which he has no right, when he is sure to have to provide for himself. I beg that if you hear the subject entered on again in the children's presence, you will put a stop to it.' ' Certainly, ma'am ; their poor dear papa never would have wished them to be occupied with earthly things of that sort. As I often said, there never was such an unworldly gentleman ; he never would have known if there were a sixpence in the house, nor a joint in the larder, if there had not been cook and me to care for him. I often said to cook — '•' Well for him that he has honest people about him." ' Honora likewise spoke to Jones, her private retainer. He smiled scorn of the accusation, and answered her as the child he had known in frocks. ' Yes, ma'am, I did tell the young gentleman to hold his tongue, for it never would be his in your lifetime, nor after, in my judgment.' ' Why, certainly, it does seem early days to speak of such a matter,' said Honora, sadly. ' It is unaccountable what people will not put in children's heads," said Jones, sagely ; 'not but what he is a nice quiet young gentleman, and gives very little VOL. I. H 98 HOPES AND PEAKS. trouble, but they might let that alone. Miss Honora, when will it be convenient to you to take my account of the plate 1 ?' She felt pretty well convinced that Jones had only resented the whole on her account, and that it was not he who had put the notion into the boy's head. As to Nurse, she was far from equally clear. Doubts of Nurse's sincerity had long been growing upon her, and she was in the uncomfortable position of being able to bear neither to think of the children's intercourse with any one tainted with falsehood, nor to dismiss a person implicitly trusted by their father. She could only decide that the first detected act of untruth should be the turning point. Meantime, painful as was many an association, Honor did not find her position so dreary or so oppres- sive as she had anticipated. She had a great deal to do, and the tracks had been duly made out for her by her cousin. Mr. Saville, or Humfrey's old friend, Sir John Raymond, were always ready to help her in great matters, and Brooks was an excellent dictatorial deputy in small ones. Her real love for country life, for live animals, and, above all, the power of doing good, all found scope. Humfrey's charge gave her a sense of a fulfilled duty ; and mournful and broken-spirited as she believed herself, if Humfrey could have looked at her as she scrupulously made entries in his book, rode out with the children to try to look knowing at the crops, or sat by the fire in the evening with his dogs at her feet, telling stories to the children, he would not have feared too much for his Honor. Living or dead, the love of Humfrey could hardly help being a spring of peace and happiness ; and the con- sciousness of it had been too brief, and the tie never close enough, to lead to a state of crushed spirits. The many little tender observances that she paid to him were a source of mournful sweetness rather than of heartrending. It was a quietly but fully occupied life, with a EOPES AND FEARS. 99 certain severity towards her own comforts, and libe- rality towards those of other people, which had always been a part of her character, ever since Owen Sand- brook had read sermons with her on self-denial. If Miss Wells had a fire in her bedroom forced upon her, Miss Charlecote had none, and hurried down in the bleak winter morning in shawl and gloves to Hum- frey's great Bible, and then to his account books and her business letters. She was fresh with cold when she met the children for their early reading. And then — but it was not soon that she learnt to bear that, though she had gone through the like before, she had to read the household devotions, where every petition seemed to be lacking the manly tone to give it fulness and force. Breakfast followed, the silver kettle making it home- like, the children chattering, Miss Wells smiling, letters coming in to perplex or to clear up perplexities, amuse or cheer. The children were then turned out for an hour's hoop-driving on the gravel drive, horse-chesnut picking, or whatever might not be mischief, while Honora was conferring w 7 ith Jones or with Brooks, and receiving her orders for the day. Next followed letter writing, then lessons in general, a real en- joyment, unless Lucilla happened to have picked up a fit of perverseness — some reading to them, or rational- izing of play — the early dinner — the subsequent expe- dition with them, either walking or riding — for Brooks had soon found ponies for them, and they were gallant little riders. Honor would not give up the old pony, long since trained for her by Humfrey, though, maybe, that was her most undutiful proceeding towards him, as he would certainly have told her that the creature was shaky on the legs. So at last it tumbled down with her, but without any damage, save a hole in her skirt, and a dreadful crying-fit of little Owen, who was frightened out of his wits. She owned that it must be degraded to light cart work, and mounted an animal which Hiltonbury agreed to be more worthy of her. Coming in, the children played; she either did her H 2 100 HOPES AND FEARS. business or found leisure for reading j then came tea time, then the reading of a story book to the children, and when they were disposed of, of something mildly moral and instructive to suit Miss Wells's taste. The neighbourhood all mourned Mr. Charlecote as a personal loss, and could hardly help regarding any suc- cessor as their enemy. Miss Charlecote had been just enough known in her girlish days not to make her popular in a commonplace neighbourhood ; the ladies had criticised her hair and her genius, and the gentle- men had been puzzled by her searching questions into their county antiquities, and obliged to own themselves unaware of a Roman milestone propping their bailiff's pigstye, or of the spur of a champion of one of the Eoses being hung over their family pew. But when Mr. Henderson and the Raymonds reported pleasantly of her, and when once or twice she had been seen cantering down the lanes, or shopping in Elverslope, and had exchanged a bow with a familiar face, the gentlemen took to declaring that the heiress was an uncommonly fine woman after all, and the ladies became possessed with the perception that it was high time to call upon Miss Charlecote — what could she be doing with those two children ? So there were calls, which Honor duly returned, and then came invitations, but, to Miss Wells's great annoyance, Honor decided against these. It was not self-denial, but she thought it suitable. She did not love the round of county gaieties, and in her position she did not think them a duty. Retirement seemed to befit the widowhood, which she felt so entirely that when Miss Wells once drove her into disclaiming all possibility of marrying, she called it ' marrying again.' When Miss Wells urged the inexpedience of abso- lute seclusion, she said she would continue to make morning calls, and she hoped in time to have friends of her own to stay with her ; she might ask the Ray- monds, or some of the quiet, clerical families (the real elite, be it observed) to spend a day or drink tea, but the HOPES AND FEARS. 101 dinner and ball life was too utterly incongruous for an elderly heiress. When it came to the elderly heiress poor Miss Wells was always shut up in utter despair — she who thought her bright-locked darling only grew handsomer each day of her pride of womanhood. The brass which Honora had chosen for her cousin's memorial was slow in being executed, and summer days had come in before it was sent to Hiltonbury. She walked down, a good deal agitated, to ascertain whether it were being rightly managed, but, to her great annoyance, found that the church having been left open, so many idle people were standing about that she could not bear to mingle with them. Had it been only the Holt vassalage, either their feeling would have been one with her own, or they would have made way for her, but there were some pert nursery maids gaping about with the children from Beauchamp, whence the heads of the family had been absent all the winter and spring, leaving various nurses and governesses in charge. Honora could not encounter their eyes, and went to the vicarage to send Mr. Henderson, and find- ing him absent, walked over sundry fields in a vain search for Brooks. Rain came on so violently as to wet her considerably, and, to her exceeding mortifica- tion, she was obliged to relinquish her superintendence, either in person or by deputy. However, when she awoke early and saw the sun laughing through the shining drops, she decided on going down ere the curious world was astir, to see what had been done. It was not far from six, when she let herself out at the porch, and very like a morn- ing with Humfrey, with the tremulous glistening of every spray, and the steamy fragrance rising wherever the sun touched the grass, that seemed almost to grow visibly. The woods were ringing with the songs of birds, circle beyond circle, and there was something in the exuberant merriment of those blackbirds and thrushes that would not let her be Bad, though they had been Humfrey's special glory. The thought of 102 HOPES AND FEARS. such pleasures did not seem out of keeping. The lane- was overhung with bushes ; the banks, a whole wealth of ferns, climbing plants, tall grasses, and nettles, had not yet felt the sun and were dank and dreary, so she hurried on, and arriving at the clerk's door, knocked and opened. He was gone to his work, and sounds above showed the wife to be engaged on the toilette of the younger branches. She called out that she had come for the keys of the church, and seeing them on the dresser, abstracted them, bidding the good woman give herself no trouble. She paused under the porch, and ere fitting the heavy key to the lock, felt that strange pressure and emotion of the heart that even if it be sorrow is also an exquisite sensation. If it were mournful that the one last office she could render to Humfrey was over, it was precious to her to be the only one who had a right to pay it, the one whom he had loved best upon earth, round whom she liked to believe that he still might be often hovering — whom he might welcome by and by. Here was the place for communion with him, the spot which had, indeed, been to him none other than the gate of Heaven. Yet, will it be believed ? Not one look did Honora cast at Humfrey Charlecote's monument that morning. With both hands she turned the reluctant bolts of the lock, and pushed open the nail-studded door. She slowly advanced along the uneven floor of the aisle, and had just reached the chancel arch, when something suddenly stirred, making her start violently. It was still, and after a pause she again advanced, but her heart gave a sudden throb, and a strange chill of awe rushed over her as she beheld a little white face over the altar rail, the chin resting on a pair of folded hands, the dark eyes fixed in a strange, dreamy, spiritual expression of awe. The shock was but for a moment, the next the blood rallied to her heart, and she told herself that Humfrey would say, that either the state of her HOPES AND FEARS. 103 spirits had produced an illusion, or else that some child had been left here by accident. She advanced, but as she did so the two hands were stretched out and locked together as in an agony, and the childish, feeble voice cried out, ' Oh ! if you're an angel, please don't frighten me ; I'll be very good.' Honora was in a pale, soft, grey dress, that caught the light in a rosy glow from the east window, and her golden hair was hanging in radiant masses beneath her straw bonnet, but she could not appreciate the angelic impression she made on the child, who had been tried so long by such a captivity. 'My poor child,' she said, ' I am no angel ; I am only Miss Charlecote. I'm afraid you have been shut up here ;* and, coming nearer, she perceived that it was a boy of about seven years old, well dressed, though his gar- ments were disordered. He stood up as she came near, but he was trembling all over, and as she drew him into her bosom, and put her arms round him, she found him quivering with icy cold. ' Poor little fellow,' she said, rocking him, as she sat on the step and folded her shawl round him, 'have you been here all night ? How cold you are ; I must take you home, my dear. What is your name V ' I'm Robert Mervyn Fulmort,' said the little boy, clinging to her. ' We came in to see Mr. Charlecote's monument put up, and I suppose they forgot me. I waked up, and everybody was gone, and the door was locked. Oh ! please,' he gasped, ' take me out. I don't want to cry.' She thought it best to take him at once into the cheerful sunlight, but it did not yet yield the warmth that he needed ; and all her soothing words could not check the nervous tremor, though he held her so tight that it seemed as if he would never let her go. ' You shall come home with me, my dear little boy ; you shall have some breakfast, and then I will take you safe home to Beauchamp.' ' Oh, if you please I' said the boy, gratefully. 104 HOPES AND FEARS. Exercise was thawing liis numbed limbs, and his eyes brightened. 1 Whom were you with 1 ?' she asked. 'Who could have forgotten you ¥ * I came with Lieschen and Nurse and the babies. The others went out with Mademoiselle.' 1 And you went to sleep V 1 Yes ; I liked to see the mason go chip, chip, and I wanted to see them fit the thing in. I got into that great pew, to see better ; and I made myself a nest, but at last they were all gone.' 1 And what did you do, then 1 Were you afraid f 1 I didn't know what to do. I ran all about to see if I could look out at a window, but I couldn't.' < Did you try to call V 1 Wouldn't it have been naughty V said the boy ; and then, with an impulse of honest truthfulness, ' I did try once ; but do you know, there was another voice came back again, and I thought that die Geistern wachten sick auf? 1 The what V 'Die Geistern das Lieschen sagt in die Gewolben wohnenl said little Robert, evidently quite unconscious whether he spoke German or English. ' So you could not call for the echo. Well, did you not think of the bells V I Yes ; but, oh ! the door was shut ; and then, I'll tell you — but don't tell Mervyn — I did cry.' ' Indeed, I don't wonder. It must have been very lonely.' ' I didn't like it,' said Robert, shivering ; and getting to his German again, he described 'das Gewitter 9 beating on the panes, with wind and whirling leaves, and the unearthly noises of the creaking vane. The terror of the lonely, supperless child was dreadful to think of; and she begged to know what he could have done as it grew dark. I I got to Mr. Charlecote,' said Robert — an answer that thrilled her all over. ' I said I'd be always very HOPES AND FEARS. 105 good, if he would take care of me, and not let them frighten me. And so I did go to sleep.' ' I'm sure Mr. Charlecote would, my dear little man,' began Honora, then checked by remembering what he would have said. ' But didn't you think of One more sure to take care of you than Mr. Charlecote V 1 Lieschen talks of der Lieber Gott] said the little boy. ' We said our prayers in the nursery, but Mervyn says only babies do.' 1 Mervyn is terribly wrong, then,' said Honora, shuddering. ' Oh ! Robert, Mr. Charlecote never got up nor went to bed without asking the good God to take care of him, and make him good.' I Was that why he was so good ?' asked Robert. * Indeed it was,' said she, fervently ; ' nobody can be good without it. I hope my little friend will never miss his prayers again, for they are the only way to be manly and afraid of nothing but doing wrong, as he was.' I I wont miss them,' said Robert, eagerly ; then, with a sudden, puzzled look — ' Did he send you V 'Who?' ' Mr. Charlecote.' 1 Why — how should . . . . 1 What made you think so V ' I — why, once in the night I woke up ; and oh ! it was so dark, and there were such noises, such rattling and roarings ; and then'it came all white — white light — all the window-bars and all so plain upon the wall ; and then came — bending, bending over — a great grey darkness — oh ! so horrible ! — and went away, and came back.' ' The shadow of the trees, swaying in the moon- light.' • Was it? I thought it was the Xebel Wittwen neckten mir, and then the Erlkonun'j-tochter. Wissen tie — and oh ! I did scream once ; and then, somehow, it grew rpiietly darker ; and I thought Mr. Charlecote had me folded up so warm on his horse's back, and that we rode ever so far; and they stretched out their 106 HOPES AND FEARS. long white arms, and could not get me ; but somehow he set me down on a cold stone, and said, " Wait here, Robin, and I'll send her to lead you." And then came a creaking, and there were you.' * Well, little Robin, he did not quite send me ; but it was to see his tablet that I came down this morning ; so he brought me after all. He was my veiy dear cousin Humfrey, and I like you for having been his little friend. Will you be mine, too, and let me help you, if I can 1 and if your papa and mamma give leave, come and see me, and play with the little girl and boy who live with me V ' Oh, yes !' cried Robert ; ' I like you.' The alliance was sealed with a hearty kiss. c But,' said Robert, ' you must ask Mademoiselle ; papa and mamma are away.' ' And how was it no one ever missed you V Robert was far less surprised at this than she was ; for, like all children, to be left behind appeared to him a contingency rather probable than otherwise. He was a fine-looking boy, with dark gray, thoughtful eyes, and a pleasant countenance ; but his nerves had been so much shaken that he started, and seemed ready to catch hold of her at every sound. ' What's that ¥ he cried, as a trampling came along the alley as they entered the garden. i Only my two little cousins,' said Honora, smiling. ' I hope you will be good friends, though perhaps Owen is too young a playfellow. Here, Lucy, Owen — here is a little friend for you — Robert Fulmort.' The children came eagerly up, and Lucilla, taking her hand, raised her face to kiss the stranger ; but Robert did not approve of the proceeding, and held up his head. Lucilla rose on tip-toe ; Robin did the same. As he had the advantage of a whole year's height, he fully succeeded in keeping out of her reach ; and very comical was the effect. She gave it up at last, and contented herself with asking, ' And where do you come from V HOPES AND FEARS. 107 1 Out of the church,' was Eobin's reply. 'Then you are very good and holy, indeed,' said Owen, looking at him earnestly, with clasped hands. 1 No !' said Robert, gruffly. 1 Poor little man ! he was left behind, and shut up in the church all night, without any supper,' said Honora. 1 Shut up in the church like Goody Two-Shoes 1' cried Lucilla, dancing about. ' Oh, what fun !' 1 Did the angels come and sing to you V asked Owen. 1 Don't ask such stupid questions,' cried his sister. 1 Oh, I know what I'd have done ! Didn't you get up into the pulpit V < No !' 1 And I do so want to know if the lady and gentle- man on the monument have their ruffs the same on the inside, towards the wall, as outside ; and, oh ! I do so want to get all the dust out of the folds of the lady's ruff. I wish they'd lock me into the church, and I'd soon get out when I was tired.' Lucilla and Owen decidedly thought "Robin had not profited by his opportunities, but he figured better in an examination on his brothers and sisters. There were seven, of whom he was the fourth — Augusta, Juliana, and Mervyn being his elders ; Phoebe, Maria, and Bertha, his juniors. The three seniors were under the rule of Mademoiselle, the little ones under that of nurse and Lieschen, and Robert stood on neutral ground, doing lessons with Mademoiselle, whom, he said, in unpicked language which astounded little Owen, ' he morally hated,' and at the same time free of the nursery, where, it appeared, that 'Phcebe was the jolliest little fellow in the world,' and Lieschen was the only ' good-natured body going,' and knew no end of Md/u-cken. The boy spoke a very odd mixture of Lieschen's German and of English, pervaded by stable slang, and was altogether a curious study of the effects of absentee parents ; nevertheless Honora and Lucilla 108 HOPES AND FEARS. both took a considerable fancy to him, the latter patro- nizing him to such a degree that she hardly allowed him to eat the much-needed breakfast, which recalled colour to his cheek and substance to his voice. After much thought, Owen delivered himself of the sentiment that ' people's papas and mammas were very funny,' doubtless philosophizing on the inconsistency of the class in being — some so willing, some so reluctant, to leave their children behind them. Honor fully agreed with him, but did not think the discussion profitable for Robin, whom she now proposed to take home in the pony-carriage. Lucilla, always eager for novelty, and ardent for her new friendship, begged to accompany her. Owen was afraid of the strangers, and preferred Miss Wells. Even as they set out, they found that Robert's dis- appearance had created some sensation, for the clerk's wife was hurrying up to ask if Miss Charlecote had the keys, that she might satisfy the man from Beauchamp that Master Fulmort was not in the church. At the lodge the woman threw up her hands with joy at the sight of the child ; and some way off, on the sward, stood a bigger boy, who, with a loud hurrah, scoured away towards the house as the carriage appeared. ' That's Mervyn,' said Robert ; ' he is gone to tell them.' Beauchamp was many degrees grander since Honor had last visited it. The approach was entirely new. Two fresh wings had been added, and the front was all over scaffolds and cement, in all stages of colour, from rich brown to permanent white. Robert explained that nothing was so nice as to watch the workmen, and showed Lucilla a plasterer on the topmost stage of the scaffolding, who, he said, was the nicest man he knew, and could sing all manner of songs. Rather nervously Honora drove under the poles to the hall-door, where two girls were seen in the rear of a French woman ; and Honor felt as if Robin might have grounds for his ' moral hatred ' when her voluble HOPES AND FEARS. 109 transports of gratitude and affection broke forth, and the desolation in which the loss had left them was described. Robert edged back from her at once, and flew to another party at the bottom of the stairs — a very stout nurse and an uncapped, flaxen-haired madchen, who clasped him in her arms, and cried, and sobbed over him. As soon as he could release himself, he caught hold of a fat little bundle, which had been coaxing one of his legs all through Lieschen's embrace, and dragging it forwards, cried, e Here she is — here's Phoebe !' Phoebe, however, was shy, and cried and fought her way back to hide her face in Lteschen's apron ; and meantime a very odd scene took place. School-room and nursery were evidently at most direful war. Each wanted to justify itself lest the lady should write to the parents ; each tried to be too grand to seem to care, and threw all the blame on the other. On the whole, Honor gathered that Mademoiselle believed the boy enfantin enough to be in the nursery, the nurses that he was in the schoolroom, and he had not been really missed till bed-time, when each party recriminated instead of seeking him, and neither would allow itself to be responsible for him. Lieschen, who alone had her suspicions where he might be, abstained from naming them in sheer terror of Kobolden, Geistern, corpse-candles, and what not, and had lain conjuring up his miseries till morning. Honora did not much care how they settled it amongst them, but tried to make friends with the young people, who seemed to take their brother's restoration rather coolly, and to be chiefly occupied by staring at Lucilla. Augusta and Juliana were self-possessed, and rather manierees, acquitting themselves evidently to the satisfaction of the Trench governess, and Honor, perceiving her to be a necessary infliction, invited her and her pupils, especially Pvobin, to spend a day in the next week at the Holt. The proposal was graciously accepted, and Lucilla spent the intervening time in a tumult of excitement, 110 HOPES AND FEARS. Nor was the day entirely unsuccessful ; Mademoiselle behaved herself with French tact, and Miss Wells took her off Honora's hands a good deal, leaving them free for the children. Lu cilia, always aspiring, began a grand whispering friendship with the two girls, and set her little cap strongly at Mervyn, but that young gentleman was contemptuous and bored when he found no entertainment in Miss Charlecote's stud, and was only to be kept placable by the bagatelle-board and the strawberry-bed. Robert followed his lead more than was satisfactory, but with visible predilections for the Holt J&dies, old and young. Honor talked to him about little Phoebe, and he lighted up and began to de- tail her accomplishments, and to be very communica- tive about his home vexations and pleasures, and finally, when the children were wishing good night, he bluntly said, ' It would be better fun to bring Lieschen and Phoebe.' Honor thought so too, and proposed giving the in- vitation. ' Don't/ said Robert, ' she'd be cross ; I'll bring them.' And so he did. Two days after, the broad German face and the flaxen head appeared, leading that fat ball, Phoebe, and Robin frisking in .triumph' beside her. Henceforth a great friendship arose between the chil- dren. Phoebe soon lost all dread of those who petted her, and favoured them with broad smiles and an in- comprehensible patois. Owen made very much of her, and pursued and imitated Robert with the devotion of a small boy to a larger one. Lucilla devoted herself to him for want of better game, and moreover he plainly told her that she was the prettiest little girl he ever saw, and laid all manner of remarkable treasures at her feet. Miss Charlecote believed that he made some curious confidences to her, for once Owen said, 'I want to know why Robin hasn't a Sweet Honey to make him good V 1 Robin has a papa and mamma, and a governess.' HOPES AND FEARS. Ill 1 Robin was telling Lucy he wanted some one to teach him to be good, and she said she would, but I think she is not old enough.' ' Any one who is good is teaching others, my Owen,' said Honor. ' We will ask in our prayers that poor little Robin may be helped.' When Mr. and Mrs. Fulmort came home, there was an interchange of calls, many thanks for her kindness to the children, and sanction of future intercourse. Mr. Fulmort was a great distiller, who had married a county heiress, and endeavoured to take his place among the country squires, whom he far exceeded in display ; and his wife, a meek, sickly person, lived a life of slavery to the supposed exigencies of fashion. She had always had, in her maiden days, a species of awe of the Charlecotes' London cousin, and was now disposed to be rather gratified by her notice of her children. Mervyn had been disposed of at a tutor's, and Robert was adrift for many hours of the day. As soon as he had discovered the possibility of getting to the Holt alone, he was frequently there, following Honora about in her gardening and farming, as much at home as the little Sandbrooks, sharing in their sports, and often listening to the little books that she read aloud to them. He was very far from being such an angelic little mortal as Owen, with whom indeed his sympathies were few. Once some words were caught from him by both children, which startled Honor ex- ceedingly, and obliged her to tell him that if ever she found him to have repeated the like, she should forbid his coming near them. He looked excessively sullen, and did not come for a week, during which Lucilla was intolerably naughty, and was twice severely punished for using the identical expressions in defiance. Then he came again, and behaved as if nothing had happened, but the offence never recurred. Some time after, when he boasted of having come away with a lesson unlearnt, in flat disobedience to Mademoiselle, Honor sent him straight home, though Lucilla stamp' -d 112 HOPES AND FEARS. and danced at her in a frenzy. Another time Owen rushed up to her in great agony at some torture that Robin was inflicting upon a live mouse. Upon this, Honor, full of the spirit of indignation, fairly struck the offender sharply ou the fingers with her riding- whip. He scowled at her, but it was only for a moment. She held him tightly by the hand, while she sent the gardener to put his victim out of its misery, and then she talked to him, not sentimentally, her feelings were too strongly stirred, but wdth all her horror of cruelty. He muttered that Mervyn and the grooms always did it ; but he did not hold out long — Lucilla was holding aloof, too much horrified to come near — and finally he burst into tears, and owned that he had never thought ! , Every now and then, such outbreaks made Honor wonder why she let him come, perhaps to tempt her children ; but she remembered that he and Humfrey had been fond of one another, and she felt drawn to- wards him, though in all prudence she resolved to lessen the attractions of the Holt by being very strict with all, and rather ungracious to him. Yet, strange to say, the more regulations she made, and the more she flashed out at his faults, the more constant w r as her visitor, the Robin who seemed to thrive upon the veriest crumbs of good nature. Positively, Honora was sometimes amazed to find what a dragon she could be upon occasion. Since she had been brought into subordination at six or eight years old, she had never had occasion to find out that she had a spirit of her own, till she found herself astonishing Jones and Brooks for taking the liberty of having a deadly feud ; making Brooks understand that cows were not to be sold, nor promises made to tenants, without reference to her ; or showing a determined marauder that Humfrey's wood was not to be preyed upon any more than in his own time. They were very feminine explosions to be sure, but they had their effect, and Miss Charlecote's was a real government. The uproar with nurse came at last, through a HOPES AND FEARS. 113 chance discovery that she had taken Owen to a certain forbidden house of gossip, where he had been bribed to secrecy with bread and treacle. Honora wrote to Mrs. Charteris for permission to dismiss the mischievous woman, and obtained full con- sent, and the most complete expression of confidence and gratitude. So there ensued a month, when every visit to the nursery seemed to be spent in tears. Nurse was really very fond of the children, and cried over them incessantly, only consoling herself by auguring a brilliant future for them, when Master Owen should reign over Hiltonbury, like the gentleman he was. ' But, nurse, Cousin Honor says I never shall — I'm to be a clergyman like papa. She says ' Zs urse winked knowingly at the housemaid. ' Yes, yes, my darling, no one likes to hear who is to come after them. Don't you say nothing about it ; it ain't becoming; but, by and by, see if it don't come so, and if my boy ain't master here.' ' I wish I was, and then nursey would never go.' However, nurse did go, and after some tears Owen was consoled by promotion to the habits of an older boy. Lucilla was very angry, and revenged herself by every variety of opposition in her power, all which were put down by the strong hand. It was a matter of necessity to keep a tight grasp on this little wilful sprite, the most fiery morsel of engaging caprice and naughtiness that a quiet spinster could well have lit upon. It really sometimes seemed to Honora as if there were scarcely a fault in the range of possibilities that she had not committed ; and indeed a bit of good advice generally seemed to act by contraries, and Berve to suggest mischief. Softness and warmth of feeling seemed to have been lost with her father ; she did not show any particular affection towards her brother or Honora. Perhaps she liked Miss Wells, but that might be only opposition; nay, Honor would have been almost thankful if she had melted at the departure of the VOL. I. i 114 HOPES AND FEAES. undesirable nurse, but she appeared only bard and cross. If sbe liked any one it was Robert Fulmort, but that was too much in the way of flirtation. Vanity was an extremely traceable spring of action. When nurse went, Miss Lucilla gave the household no peace, because no one could rightly curl the long flaxen tresses upon her shoulders, until the worry became so intolerable that Honora, partly as penance, partly be- cause she thought the present mode neither conducive to tidiness nor comfort, took her scissors and trimmed all the ringlets behind, bowl-dish fashion, as her own carrots had figured all the days of her childhood. Lucilla was held by Mrs. Stubbs during the opera- tion. She did not cry or scream after she felt herself conquered by main strength, but her blue eyes gleamed with a strange, wild light ; she would not speak to Miss Charlecote all the rest of the day, and Honora doubted whether she were ever forgiven. Another offence was the cutting down her name into Lucy. Honor had avoided Cilly from the first ; Silly Sandbrook would be too dreadful a sobriquet to be allowed to attach to any one, but Lucilla resented the change more deeply than she showed. Lucy was a housemaid's name, she said, and Honor reproved her for vanity, and called her so all the more. She did not love Miss Charlecote well enough to say that Cilly had been her father's name for her, and that he had loved to wind the flaxen curls round his fingers. Every new study, every new injunction cost a war- fare, disobedience, and passionate defiance and resis- tance on the one hand, and steady, good-tempered firmness on the other, gradually growing a little sterm The waves became weary of beating on the rock at last. The fiery child was growing into a girl, and the calm will had the mastery of her; she succumbed in- sensibly ; and owing all her pleasures to Cousin Honor, she grew to depend upon her, and mind, manners, and opinions were taking their mould from her. CHAPTER V. Too soon the happy child His nook of heavenward thought must change For life's seduciDg wild. Christian Year. HE simimer sun peeped through the Venetian blinds greenly shading the breakfast table. Only three sides were occupied. For more than two years past good Miss Weljs had been lying under the shade of Hiltonbury Church, taking with her Honora Charlecote's last semblance of the dependence and deference of her young ladyhood. The kind governess had been fondly mourned, but she had not left her child to loneliness, for the brother and sister sat on either side, each with a particular pet — Lucilla's, a large pointer, who kept his nose on her knee, Owen's, a white fantailed pigeon, seldom long absent from his shoulder, where it sat quivering and bending back- wards its graceful head. Lucilla, now nearly fourteen, looked younger from the unusual smallness of her stature, and the exceed- ing delicacy of her features and complexion, and she would never have been imagined to be two yeam the senior of the handsome-faced, large-limbed young Saxon who had so far outstripped her in height : and yet there was something in those deep blue eves, that on a second glance proclaimed a keen intelligence as much above her age as her appearance was below it. i2 116 HOPES AND FEAHS. ' What's the matter 1 ' said she, rather suddenly. 1 Yes, sweetest Honey,' added the boy, ' you look bothered. Is that rascal not paying his rent 1 ' 1 No ! ' she said, ' it is a different matter entirely. What do you think of an invitation to Castle Blanch % ' I For us all 1 ' asked Owen. ' Yes, all, to meet your uncle Christopher, the last week in August.' 'Why can't he come here 1 ' asked Lucilla. ' I believe we must go,' said Honora. ' You ought to know both your uncles, and they should be consulted before Owen goes to school.' I I wonder if they will examine me,' said Owen. 1 How they will stare to find Sweet Honey's teaching as good as all their preparatory schools.' ' Conceited boy.' ' I'm not conceited — only in my teacher. Mr. Henderson said I should take as good a place as Robert Fulmort did at Winchester, after four years in that humbugging place at Elverslope.' ' We can't go ! ' cried Lucilla. " ' It's the last week of Itobin's holidays ! ' ' Well done, Lucy ! ' and both Honor and Owen laughed heartily. ' It is nothing to me,' said she, tossing her head, ' only I thought Cousin Honor thought it good for him.' ' You may stay at home to do him good,' laughed Owen ; ' I'm sure I don't want him. You are very welcome, such a bore as he is.' 'Now, Owen.' ' Honey, dear, I do take my solemn affidavit that I have tried my utmost to be friends with him,' said Owen ; ' but he is such a fellow — never has the least notion beyond Winchester routine — Latin and Greek, cricket and football.' 1 You'll soon be a schoolboy yourself,' said Lucilla. ' Then I shan't make such an ass of myself,' returned Owen. HOPES AND FEARS. 117 ' Robin is a very good boy, I believe,' said Honor. ' That's the worst of him ! ' cried Lucilla, running away and clapping the door after her as she went. 'Well, I don't know,' said Owen, very seriously, ' he says he does not care about the Saints' days, because he has no one to get him leave out.' 1 1 remember,' said Honor, with a sweet smile of tender memory, 'when to me the merit of Saints' days was that they were your father's holidays.' ' Yes, you'll send me to Westminster, and be always coming to Woolstone Lane,' said Owen. 'Your uncles must decide,' she said, half mourn- fully, half proudly ; ' you are getting to be a big boy — past me, Oney.' It brought her a roughly playful caress, and he added, ' You've got the best right, I'm sure.' ' I had thought of Winchester,' she said. ' Robert would be a friend.' Owen made a face, and caused her to laugh, while scandalizing her by humming, ' Not there, not there, my child.' ' Well, be it where it may, you had better look over your Yirgil, while I go down to my practical Georgics with Brooks.' Owen obeyed. He was like a spirited horse in a leash of silk. Strong, fearless, and manly, he was still perfectly amenable to her, and had never shown any impatience of her rule. She had taught him entirely herself, and both working together with a thorough good will, she had rendered him a better classical scholar, as all judges allowed, than most boys of the same age, and far superior to them in general culti- vation ; and she should be proud to convince Captain Charteris that she had not made him the mollycoddle that was obviously anticipated. The other relatives, who had seen the children in their yearly visits to London, had always expressed unqualified satisfaction, though not advancing much in the good graces of Lucy and Owen. But Honor thought the public 118 HOPES AND FEARS. school ought to be left to the selection of the two uncles, though she wished to be answerable for the expense, both there and at the university. The pro- vision inherited by her charges was very slender, for, contrary to all expectation, old Mr. Sandbrook's property had descended in another quarter, and there was barely 5000?. between the two. To preserve this untouched by the expenses of education was Honora's object, and she hoped to be able to smooth their path in life by occasional assistance, but on principle she was determined to make them independent of her, and she had always made it known that she regarded it as her duty to Humfrey, that her Hiltonbury property should be destined — if not to the apocryphal American Charlecote — to a relation of their mutual great grand- mother. Cold invitations had been given and declined, but this one was evidently in earnest, and the consideration of the Captain decided Honora on accepting it, but not without much murmuring from Lucilla. Caroline and Horatia were detestable grown-up young ladies, her aunt was horrid, Castle Blanch was the slowest place in the world ; she should be shut up in some abominable school-room, to do fancy-work, and never to get a bit of fun. Even the being reminded of Wrapworth and its associations only made her more cross. She was of a nature to fly from thought or feeling — she was keen to perceive, but hated reflection, and from the very violence of her feelings, she un- consciously abhorred any awakening of them, and steeled herself by levity. Her distaste only gave way in Robert's presence, when she appeared highly gratified by the change, certain that Castle Blanch would be charming, and her cousin the Lifeguardsman especially so. The more disconsolate she saw Robert, the higher rose her spirits, and his arrival to see the party off sent her away in open triumph, glorifying her whole cousinhood with- out a civil word to him ; but when seated in the carriage, HOPES AND FEARS. 119 she launched at him a drawing, the favourite work of her leisure hours, broke into unrestrained giggling at his grateful surprise, and, ere the wood was past, was almost strangled with sobs. Castle Blanch was just beyond the suburbs of London, in complete country, but with an immense neighbourhood, and not half-an-hour by train from town. Honora drove all the way, to enjoy the lovely Thames scenery to the full. They passed through Wrapworth, and as they did so, Lucilla chattered to the utmost, while Honora stole her hand over Owen's and gently pressed it. He returned the squeeze with interest, and looked up in her face with a loving smile — mother and home were not wanting to him ! About two miles further on, and not in the same parish, began the Castle Blanch demesne. The park sloped down to the Thames, and was handsome, and quite full of timber, and the mansion, as the name imported, had been built in the height of pseudo- Gothic, with a formidable keep-looking tower at each corner, but the fortification below consisting of glass ; the sham cloister, likewise glass windows, for drawing- room, music-room, and conservatory ; and j ntting out far in advance, a great embattled gateway, with a sham portcullis, and doors fit to defy an army. Three men-servants met the guests in the hall, and Mrs. Charteris received them in the drawing-room, with the woman-of-the-world tact that Honora parti- cularly hated — there was always such deference to Miss Charlecote, and such, an assumption of affection for the children, and gratitude for her care of them, and Miss Charlecote had not been an heiress early enough in life for such attentions to seem matters of course. It was explained that there was no school-room at present, and as a girl of Lucilla's age, who was already a guest, joined the rest of the party at dinner, it was proposed that she and her brother should do the same, provided Miss Charlecote did not object. Honor was 120 HOPES AXD FEARS. really glad of the gratification for Lucilla, and Mrs. Charteris agreed with her before she had time to express her opinion as to girls being kept back or brought forward. Honor found herself lodged in great state, in a world of looking-glass that had perfectly scared her poor little Hiltonbury maiden, and with a large dressing-room, where she hoped to have seen a bed for Lucilla, but she found that the little girl was quartered in another story, near the cousins ; and unwilling to imply distrust, and hating to incite obsequious com- pliance, she did not ask for any change, but only be a study for the Arab ^ Lucilla in an ture surrounding her like a cloud, tur- quoises on her arms, and blue and silver ribbons mingled with her blonde tresses. Very like the clergyman's wife ! sage Honor, were you not provoked with yourself for being so old as to regard that bewitching sprite, and marvel whence comes the cost of those robes of the woof of Faerie 1 Let Oberon pay Titania's bills. That must depend on who Oberon is to be. Phoebe, to whom a doubt on that score would have appeared high treason, nevertheless hated the presence of Mr. Calthorp as much as she could hate anything, and was in restless anxiety as to Titania's behaviour. She herself had no cause to complain, for she was at once singled out and led away from Miss Charlecote, to be shown some photographic performances, in which Lucy and her cousin had been dabbling. 1 There, that horrid monster is Owen — he never will come out respectable. Mr. Prendergast, he is better, 220 HOPES AND FEARS. because you don't see his face. There's our school, Edna Murrell and all ; I natter myself that is a work of art ; only this little wretch fidgeted, and muddled himself.' 1 Is that the mistress ? She does not look like one.' ' Not like Sally Page 1 No j she would bewilder the Hiltonbury mind. I mean you to see her ; I would not miss the shock to Honor. No, don't show it to her ! I wont have any preparation.' 1 Do you call that preparation V said Owen, coming up, and taking up the photograph indignantly. ' You should not do such things, Cilly !' ''Tisn't I that do them — it's Phoebe's brother — the one in the sky I mean, Dan Phoebus, and if .he wont flatter, I can't help it. No, no, I'll not have it broken ; it is an exact likeness of all the children's spotted frocks, and if it be not of Edna, it ought to be.' 1 Look, Robert,' said Phoebe, as she saw him stand- ing shy, grave, and monumental, with nervous hands clasped over the back of a chair, neither advancing nor retreating, ' what a beautiful place this is !' ' Oh ! that's from a print — Glendalough ! I mean to bring you plenty of the real place.' 1 Kathleen's Cave,' said the unwelcome millionaire. ' Yes, with a comment on Kathleen's awkwardness ! I should like to seethe hermit who could push me down.' ' You ! You'll never tread in Kathleen's steps !' ' Because I shan't find a hermit in the cave.' 1 Talk of skylarking on " the lake whose gloomy shore !" ' They all laughed except the two Fulmorts. 1 There's a simpler reason,' said one of the Guards- men, ' namely, that neither party will be there at all.' ' No, not the saint ' 'Nor the lady. Miss Charteris tells me all the maiden aunts are come up from the country.' (How angry Phoebe was !) 'Happily, it is an article I don't possess.' 1 Well, we will not differ about technicalities, as long as the fact is the same. You'll remember my words when HOPES AND FEARS. 221 you are kept on a diet of Hannah More and Miss Edgeworth till you shall have abjured hounds, balls, and salmon-flies.' ' The woman lives not who has the power !' 1 What bet will you take, Miss Sandbrook V 1 What bet will you take, Lord William, that, maiden aunts and all, I appear on the 3rd, in a dress of salmon- flies V 1 A hat trimmed with goose feathers to a pocket- handkerchief, that by that time you are in the family mansion, repenting of your sins.' Phoebe looked on like one in a dream, while the terms of the wager were arranged with playful precision. She did not know that dinner had been announced, till she found people moving, and in spite of her antipathy to Mr. Calthorp, she rejoiced to find him assigned to herself — dear, good Lucy must have done it to keep Robin to herself, and dear, good Lucy she shall be, in spite of the salmon, since in the progress downstairs she has cleared the cloud from his brow. It was done by a confiding, caressing clasp on his arm, and the few words, ' Now for old friends ! How charming little Phoebe looks !' How different were his massive brow and deep-set eyes without their usual load, and how sweet his grati- fied smile ! ' Where have you been, you Robin ? If I had not passed you in the Park, I should never have guessed there was such a bird in London. I began to change my mind, like Christiana — "I thought Robins were harmless and gentle birds, wont to hop about men's doors, and feed on crumbs, and such like harmless food." ' 'And have you seen me eating worms V I I've not seen you at all.' I I did not think you had leisure — I did not believe I should be welcome.' 1 The cruellest cut of all ; positive irony ' < No, indeed ! I am not so conceited as ' ' As what?' 222 HOPES AND FEARS. ' As to suppose you could want me.' 1 And there was I longing to hear about Phoebe ! If you had only come, I could have contrived her going to the Zauberflote with us last night, but I didn't know the length of her tether.' ' I did not know you were so kind.' 'Be kinder yourself another time. Don't I know how I have been torn to pieces at Hiltonbury, without a friend to say one word for the poor little morsel !' she said piteously. He was impelled to an eager ' No, no !' but recalling facts, he modified his reply into, ' Friends enough, but very anxious 1' ' There, I knew none of you trusted me,' she said, pretending to pout. 1 When play is so like earnest ' 1 Slow people are taken in ! That's the fun ! I like to show that I can walk alone sometimes, and not be snatched up the moment I pop my head from under my leading-strings.' Her pretty gay toss of the head prevented Robert from thinking whether woman is meant to be without leading-strings. ' And it was to avoid countenancing my vagaries that you stayed away V she said, with a look of injured innocence. ' I was very much occupied,' answered Robert, feeling himself in the wrong. ' That horrid office ! You aren't thinking of be- coming a Clarence, to drown yourself in brandy — that would never do.' ' No, I have given up all thoughts of that !' 1 You thought, you wretched Redbreast ! I thought you knew better.' ' So I ought,' said Robert, gravely, ' but my father wished me to make the experiment, and I must own, that before I looked into the details, there were con- siderations which — which ' 'Such considerations as £ s. d. ? For shame !' HOPES AND FEARS. 223 1 For shame, indeed,' said the happy Eobert. * Phoebe judged you truly. I did not know what might be the effect of habit ' and he became embarrassed, doubt- ful whether she would accept the assumption on which he spoke ; but she went beyond his hopes. ' The only place I ever cared for is a very small old parsonage,' she said, with feeling in her tone. 1 Wrapworth 1 that is near Castle Blanch.' 1 Yes ! I must show it you. You shall come with Honor and Phoebe on Monday, and I will show you everything.' ' I should be delighted — but is it not arranged V ' I'll take care of that. Mr. Prendergast shall take you in, as he would a newly arrived rhinoceros, if I told him. He was our curate, and used to live in the house even in our time. Don't say a word, Robin, it is to be. I must have you see my river, and the stile where my father used to sit when he was tired. I've never told any one which that is.' Ordinarily Lucilla never seemed to think of her father, never named him, and her outpouring was doubly prized by Robert, whose listening face drew her on. ' I was too much of a child to understand how fear- fully weak he must have been, for he could not come home from the castle without a rest on that stile, and we used to play round him, and bring him flowers. My best recollections are all of that last summer — it seems like my whole life at home, and much longer than it could really have been. We were all in all to one another. How different it would have been if he had lived ! I think no one has believed in me since.' There was something ineffably soft and sad in the last words, as the beautiful, petted, but still lonely orphan, cast down her eyelids with a low long sigh, as though owning her errors, but pleading this ex- tenuation. Robert, much moved, was murmuring some- thing incoherent, but she went on. ' Rashe does, per- haps. Can't you see how it is a part of the general 224 HOPES AND FEARS. disbelief in me to suppose that I come here only for London seasons, and such like 1 I must live where I have what the dear old soul there has not got to give.' 'You cannot doubt of her affection. I am sure there is nothing she would not do for you.' * ' Do !' that is not what I want. It can't be done, it must he felt, and that it never will be. When there's a mutual antagonism, gratitude becomes a fetter, intoler- able when it is strained.' ' I cannot bear to hear you talk so ', revering Miss Charlecote as I do, and feeling that I owe everything to her notice.' 1 Oh, I find no fault, I reverence her too ! It was only the nature of things, not her intentions, nor her kindness, that was to blame. She meant to be justice and mercy combined towards us, but I had all the one, and Owen all the other. Not that I am jealous ! Oh, no ! Not that she could help it ; but no woman can help being hard on her rival's daughter.' Nothing but the sweet tone and sad arch smile could have made this speech endurable to Robert, even though he remembered many times when the trembling of the scale in Miss Charlecote's hands had filled him with indignation. ' You allow that it was justice,' he said, smiling. 1 No doubt of that,' she laughed. ' Poor Honor ! I must have been a grievous visitation, but I am very good now ; I shall come and spend Sunday as gravely as a judge, and when you come to Wrapworth. you shall see how I can go to the school when it is not forced down my throat — no merit either, for our mis- tress is perfectly charming, with such a voice ! If I were Phoebe I would look out, for Owen is desperately smitten.' 1 Phoebe !' repeated Robert, with a startled look. 1 Owen and Phoebe ! I considered it une affaire arrangee as much as ' She had almost said you and me : Robert could supply the omission, but he was only blind of one eye, and gravely said, 'It is well HOPES AND FEARS. 225 there is plenty of time before Owen to tame Mm down.' ' Oney,' laughed Lucilla ; ' yes, he has a good deal to do in that line, with his opinions in such a mess that I really don't know what he does believe.' Though the information was not new to Robert, her levity dismayed him, and he gravely began, ' If you have such fears — ' but she cut him off short. ' Did you ever play at bagatelle V He stared in displeased surprise. ' Did you never see the ball go joggling about before it could settle into its hole, and yet abiding there very steadily at last % Look on quietly, and you will see the poor fellow as sober a parish priest as yourself.' 1 You are a very philosophical spectator of the pro- cess,' Robert said, still displeased. I Just consider what a capacious swallow the poor boy had in his tender infancy, and how hard it was crammed with legends, hymns, and allegories, with so many scruples bound down on his poor little conscience that no wonder, when the time of expansion came, the whole concern should give way with a jerk.' I I thought Miss Charlecote's education had been most anxiously admirable.' * Precisely so ! Don't you see ? Why, how dull you are for a man who has been to Oxford !' ' I should seriously be glad to hear your view, for Owen's course has always been inexplicable to me.' * To you, poor Robin, who lived gratefully on the crumbs of our advantages ! The point was that to you they were crumbs, while we had a surfeit.' 'Owen never seemed overdone. I used rather to hate him for his faultlessness, and his familiarity with what awed my ignorance.' 1 The worse for him ! He was too apt a scholar, and received all unresisting, unsifting — Anglo-Catho- licism, slightly touched with sentiment, enthusiasm for the Crusades, passive obedience — acted faithfully up to VOL. I. Q 226 HOPES AND FEARS. it ; imagined that to be ' not a good Churchman,' as he told Charles, expressed the seven deadly sins, and that reasoning was the deadliest of all !' ' As far as I understand you, you mean that there was not sufficient distinction between proven and non- proven — important and unimportant.' 1 You begin to perceive. If Faith be overworked,. Reason kicks ; and, of course, when Owen found the Holt was not the world ; that thinking was not the ex- clusive privilege of demons ; that habits he considered as imperative duties were inconvenient, not to say im- practicable ; that his articles of faith included much of the apocryphal, — why, there was a general downfall !' 1 Poor Miss Charlecote,' sighed Robert, ' it is a dis- heartening effect of so much care.' 1 She should have let him alone, then, for Uncle Kit to make a sailor of. Then he would have had some- thing better to do than to think /' 'Then you are distressed about him V said Robin,, wistfully. ' Thank you,' said she, laughing ; ' but you see I am too wise ever to think or distress myself. He'll think himself straight in time, and begin a reconstruction from his scattered materials, I suppose, and meantime- he is a very comfortable brother, as such things go ; but it is one of the grudges I can't help owing to Honora, that such a fine fellow as that is not an in- dependent sailor or soldier, able to have some fun, and not looked on as a mere dangler after the Holt.' ' I thought the reverse was clearly understood V ' She ought to have ' acted as sich.' How my rela- tives, and yours too, would laugh if you told them so £ Not that I think, like them, that it is Elizabethan dis- like to naming a successor, nor to keep him on his good behaviour ; she is far above that, but it is plain how it will be. The only other relation she knows in the world is farther off than we are — not a bit more of a Charlecote, and twice her age ; and when she has waited twenty or thirty years longer for the auburn- HOPES AND FEARS. 227 haired lady my father saw in a chapel at Toronto, she will bethink herself that Owen, or Owen's eldest son, had better have it than the Queen. That's the sense of it ; but I hate the hanger-on position it keeps him in.' 1 It is a misfortune,' said Robert. ( People treat him as a man of expectations, and at his age it would not be easy to disown them, even to himself. He has an eldest son air about him, which makes people impose on him the belief that he is one ; and yet, who could have guarded against the notion more carefully than Miss Charlecote V ' I'm of Uncle Kit's mind,' said Lucilla, ' that chil- dren should be left to their natural guardians. What ! is Lolly really moving before I have softened down the edge of my ingratitude ¥ 1 So !' said Miss Charteris, as she brought up the rear of the procession of ladies on the stairs. Lucilla faced about on the step above, with a face where interrogation was mingled with merry de- fiance. ' So that is why the Calthorp could not get a word all the livelong dinner-time !' 1 Ah ! I used you ill ; I promised you an opportu- nity of studying i Cock Robin,' but you see I could not help keeping him myself — I had not seen him for so long/ ' You were very welcome ! It is the very creature that baffles me. I can talk to any animal in the world except an incipient parson.' 1 Owen, for instance V 1 Oh 1 if people choose to put a force on nature, there can be no general rules. But, Cilly, you know I've always said you should marry whoever you liked ; but I require another assurance — on your word and honour — that you are not irrevocably Jenny Wren as yet !' ' Did you not see the currant wine V said Cilly, pull- ing leaves off a myrtle in a tub on the stairs, and scat- tering them over her cousin. n 9 228 HOPES AND FEARS. ' Seriously, Cilly ! Ah, T see now — your exclusive attention to him entirely reassures me. You would never have served him so, if you had meant it.' ' It was commonplace in me,' said Lucilla, gravely, ' but I could not help it ; he made me feel so good — or so bad — that I believe I shall ' 1 Not give up the salmon,' cried Horatia. ' Cilly, you will drive me to commit matrimony on the spot.' * Do,' said Lucilla, running lightly up, and dancing into the drawing-room, where the ladies were so much at their ease, on low couches and ottomans, that Phoebe stood transfixed by the novelty of a drawing- room treated with such freedom as was seldom per- mitted in even the schoolroom at Beauchamp, when Miss Fennimore was in presence. ' Phoebe, bright Phoebe !' cried Lucilla, pouncing on both her hands, and drawing her towards the other room, ■ it is ten ages since I saw you, and you must bring your taste to aid my choice of the fly costume. Did you hear, Rashe 1 I've a bet with Lord William that I appear at the ball all in flies. Isn't it fun V 1 Oh, jolly !' cried Horatia. ' Make yourself a pike- fly-' ■ No, no ; not a guy for any one. Only wear a trim- ming of salmon-flies, which will be lovely.' 1 You do not really mean it V said Phoebe. ' Mean it 1 With all my heart, in spite of the tre- mendous sacrifice of good flies. Where honour is concerned ' ' There. I knew you would not shirk.' * Did I ever say so ¥ — in a whisper, not unheard by Phoebe, and affording her so much satisfaction that she only said, in a grave, puzzled voice, ' The hooks V ' Hooks and all,' was the answer. ' I do nothing by halves.' * What a state of mind the fishermen will be in !' proceeded Horatia. ' You'll have every one of them at your feet.' * I shall tell them that two of a trade never agree. HOPES AND FEARS. 229 Come, and let us choose.' And opening a drawer, Lucilla took out her long parchment book, and was soon eloquent on the merits of the doctor, the butcher, the duchess, and all her other radiant fabrications of gold pheasants' feathers, parrot plumes, jays' wings, and the like. Phoebe could not help admiring their beauty, though she was perplexed all the while, uncomfortable on Robert's account, and yet not enough assured of the usages of the London world to be certain whether this were unsuitable. The Charteris family, though not of the most elite circles of all, were in one to which the Fulmorts had barely the entree, and the ease and dash of the young ladies, Lucilla's superior age, and caress- ing patronage, all made Phoebe in her own eyes too young and ignorant to pass an opinion. She would have known more about the properties of a rectangle or the dangers of a paper currency. Longing to know what Miss Charlecote thought, she stood, answering as little as possible, until Pashe had been summoned to the party in the outer room, and Cilly said, laughing, ' Well, does she astonish your infant mind V 1 1 do not quite enter into her,' said Phoebe, doubt- fully. 1 The best-natured, and most unappreciated girl in the world. Up to anything, and only a victim to pre- judice. You, who have a strong-minded governess, ought to be superior to the delusion that it is interest- ing to be stupid and helpless.' ' I never thought so,' said Phoebe, feeling for a moment in the wrong, as Lucilla always managed to make her antagonists do. ' Yes, you do, or why look at me in that pleading, perplexed fashion, save that you have become possessed with the general prejudice. Weigh it, by the light of Whately's logic, and own candidly wherefore Rashe and I should be more liable to come to grief, travelling alone, than two men of the same ages.' 'I have not grounds enough to judge,' said Phoebe, 230 HOPES AND FEARS. beginning as though Miss Fennimore were giving an exercise to her reasoning powers ; then, continuing with her girlish eagerness of entreaty ; ' I only know that it cannot be right, since it grieves Robin and Miss Charle- cote so much.' 1 And all that grieves Robin and Miss Charlecote must be shocking, eh % Oh, Phoebe, what very women all the Miss Fennimores in the world leave us, and how lucky it is !' 1 But I don't think you are going to grieve them,' said Phcebe, earnestly. ' I hate the word !' said Lucilla. ' Plaguing is only fun, but grieving, that is serious.' •' I do believe this is only plaguing !' cried Phoebe, ' and that this is your way of disposing of all the flies. I shall tell Robin so !' ' To spoil all my fun,' exclaimed Lucilla. ' No, indeed !' Phoebe only gave a nod and smile of supreme satis- faction. 1 Ah ! but Phoebe, if I'm to grieve nobody, what's to become of poor Rashe, you little selfish woman ¥ 1 Selfish, no ¥ sturdily said Phcebe. ' If it be wrong for you, it must be equally wrong for her ; and per- haps,' she added, slowly, ' you would both be glad of some good reason for giving it up. Lucy, dear, do tell me whether you really like it, for I cannot fancy you do.' ' Like it ? Well, yes ! I like the salmons, and I dote on the fun and the fuss. I say, Phcebe, can you bear the burden of a secret ? Well — only mind, if you tell Robin or Honor, I shall certainly go ; we never would have taken it up in earnest if such a rout had not been made about it, that we were driven to show we did not care, and could be trusted with ourselves.' ' Then you don't mean it ¥ 1 That's as people behave themselves. Hush ! Here comes Honor. Look here, Sweet Honey, I am in a process of selection. I am pledged to come out at the ball in a unique trimming of salmon-flies.' HOPES AND FEARS. 231 * My dear !' cried poor Honor, in consternation, 'you can't be so absurd.' ' It is so slow not to be absurd.' f At fit times, yes; but to make yourself so con- spicuous !' 1 They say I can't help that,' returned Lucy, in a tone of comical melancholy. ' Well, my dear, we will talk it over on Sunday, when I hope you may be in a rational mood.' * Don't say so,' implored Lucilla, 'or I shan't have the courage to come. A rational mood ! It is enough to frighten one away ; and really I do want very much to come. I've not heard a word yet about the Holt. How is the old dame, this summer V And Lucy went on with unceasing interest about all Hiltonbury matters, great and small, bewitching Ho- nora more than would have seemed possible under the circumstances. She was such a winning fairy that it was hardly possible to treat her seriously, or to recol- lect causes of displeasure, when under the spell of her caressing vivacity, and unruffled, audacious fun. So impregnable was her gracious good-humour, so untameable her high spirits, that it was only by re- membering the little spitfire of twelve or fourteen years ago that it was credible that she had a temper at all ; the temper erst wont to exhale in chamois bounds and dervish pirouettes, had apparently left not a trace be- hind, and the sullen ungraciousness to those who offended her had become the sunniest sweetness, im- possible to disturb. Was it real improvement ] Con- cealment it was not, for Lucilla had always been trans- parently true. Was it not more probably connected with that strange levity, almost insensibility, that had apparently indurated feelings which in early childhood had seemed sensitive even to the extent of violence. Was she only good-humoured because nothing touched her? Had that agony of parting with her gentle father seared her affections, till she had become like a polished gem, all bright glancing beauty, but utterly unfeeling ] CHAPTER V. Eeproof falletli on the saucy as "water. Feejee Proverb. ONSIDERATE of the slender purses of her children, Honora had devoted her carriage to fetch them to St. Wulstan's on the Sunday morning, but her offer had been declined, on the ground that the Charteris conveyances were free to them, and that it was better to make use of an establishment to which Sunday was no object, than to cloud the honest face of the Hiltonbury coachman by depriving his horses of their day of rest. Owen would far rather take a cab than so affront Grey ! Pleased with his bright manner, Honora had yet, reason to fear that expense was too indifferent to both brother and sister, and that the Charteris household only encouraged recklessness. Wherever she went, she heard of the extravagance of the family, and in the shops the most costly wares were recommended as the choice of Mrs. Charteris. For- merly, though. Honor had equipped Lucilla handsomely for visits to Castle Blanch, she had always found her wardrobe increased by the gifts of her uncle and aunt. The girl had been of age more than a year, and in the present state of the family, it was impossible that her dress could be still provided at their expense, yet it was manifestly far beyond her means, and what could be the result 1 She would certainly brook no in- HOPES AND FEARS. 233 terference, and would cast advice to the winds. Poor Honor could only hope for a crash that would bring her to reason, and devise schemes for forcing her from the effects of her own imprudence without breaking into her small portion. The great fear was lest false pride, and Charteris influence, should lead her to pay her debts at the cost of a marriage with the mil- lionaire ; and Honor could take little comfort in Owen's assurance that the Calthorp had too much sense to think of Cilly Sandbrook, and only promoted and watched her vagaries for the sake of amusement and curiosity. There was small satisfaction to her well- wishers in hearing that no sensible man could think seriously of her. Anxiously was that Sunday awaited in Woolstone Lane, the whole party feeling that this was the best chance of seeing Lucilla in a reasonable light, and com- ing to an understanding with her. Owen was often enough visible in the interim, and always extremely agreeable ; but Lucilla never, and he only brought an account of her gaieties, shrugging his shoulders over them. The day came ; the bells began, they chimed, they changed, but still no Sandbrooks appeared. Mr. Par- sons set off, and Robert made an excursion to the corner of the street. In vain Miss Charlecote still lingered ; Mrs. Parsons, in despair, called Phcebe on with her as the single bell rang, and Honor and Robert presently started with heads turned over their shoulders, and lips laying all blame on Charteris' delays of breakfast. A last wistful look, and the church porch engulfed them ; but even when enclosed in the polished square pew, they could not resign hope at every tread on the matted floor, and finally subsided into a trust that the truants might after service emerge from a seat near the door. There were only too many to choose from. That hope baffled, Honora still manufactured excuses which Phcebe greedily seized and offered to her brother, but she read his rejection of them in his face, and to 234. HOPES AND FEARS. lier conviction that it was all accident, lie answered, as she took his arm, ' A small accident would suffice for Sandbrook.' ' You don't think he is hindering his sister ! ' 1 1 can't tell. I only know that he is one of the many stumbling-blocks in her way. He can do no good to any one with whom he associates intimately. I hate to see him reading poetry with you.' 1 Why did you never tell me so !' asked the startled Phoebe. * You are so much taken up with him that I can never get at you, when I am not devoured by that office.' 1 I am sure I did not know it,' humbly answered Phoebe. ' He is very kind and amusing, and Miss Charlecote is so fond of him that, of course, we must be together ; but I never meant to neglect you, Robin, dear.' 'No, no, nonsense, it is no paltry jealousy; only now I can speak to you, I must/ said Robert, who had been in vain craving for this opportunity of getting his sister alone, ever since the alarm excited by Lucilla's words. ' What is this harm, Robin V 1 Say not a word of it. Miss Charlecote's heart must not be broken before its time, and at any rate it shall not come through me." < What, Robert V 1 The knowledge of what he is. Don't say it is pre- judice. I know I never liked him, but you shall hear why. You ought now ' Robert's mind had often of late glanced back to the childish days when, with their present opinions re- versed, he thought Owen a muff, and Owen thought him a reprobate. To his own blunt and reserved na- ture, the expressions, so charming to poor Miss Charle- cote, had been painfully distasteful. Sentiment, pro- fession, obtrusive reverence, and fault-finding scruples had revolted him, even when ( he thought it a proof of HOPES AND FEAKS. 235 his own irreligion to be provoked. Afterwards, when both were schoolboys, Robert had yearly increased in conscientiousness under good discipline and training, but, in their holiday meetings, had found Owen's standard receding as his own advanced, and heard the once-deficient manly spirit asserted by boasts of ex- ploits and deceptions repugnant to a well-conditioned lad. He saw Miss Charlecote's perfect confidence abused and trifled with, and the more he grew in a sense of honour, the more he disliked Owen Sand- brook. At the University, where Robert's career had been re- spectable and commonplace, Owen was at once a man of mark. Mental and physical powers alike rendered him foremost among his compeers ; he could compete with the fast, and surpass the slow on their own ground ; and his talents, ready celerity, good-humoured audacity, and quick resource, had always borne him through with the authorities, though there was scarcely an excess or irregularity in which he was not a par- taker ; and stories of Sandbrook's daring were always circulating among the under-graduates. But though Robert could have scared Phcebe with many a history of lawless pranks, yet these were not his chief cause for dreading Owen's intimacy with her. It was that he was one of the youths on whom the spirit of the day had most influence, one of the most adventurous thinkers and boldest talkers : wild in habits, not merely from ebullition of spirits, but from want of faith in the restraining power. All this Robert briefly expressed in the words, c Phcebe, it is not that his habits are irregular and un- steady ; many are so whose hearts are sound. But he is not sound — his opinions are loose, and he only re- spects and patronizes Divine Truth as what has ap- proved itself to so many good, great, and beloved human creatures. It is not denial — it is patronage. It is the common-sense heresy ' 1 1 thought we all ought to learn common sense.' 236 HOPES AND FEARS. ' Yes, in things human, but in things Divine it is the subtle English form of rationalism. This is no time to explain, Phoebe ; but human sense and intellect are made the test, and what surpasses them is only ad- mired as long as its stringent rules do not fetter the practice.' 1 1 am sorry you told me,' said Phoebe, thoughtfully, 1 for I always liked him ; he is so kind to me.' Had not Robert been full of his own troubles he would have been reassured, but he only gave a con- temptuous groan. 1 Does Lucy know this V she asked. * She told me herself what I well knew before. She does not reflect enough to take it seriously, and con- trives to lay the blame upon the narrowness of Miss Charlecote's training.' ' Oh, Robin ! When all our best knowledge came from the Holt !' ' She says, perhaps not unjustly, that Miss Charlecote overdid things with him, and that this is reaction. She observes keenly. If she would only think ! She would have been perfect had her father lived, to work on her by affection.' ' The time for that is coming ' Robert checked her, saying, ' Stay, Phoebe. The other night I was fooled by her engaging ways, but each day since I have become more convinced that I must learn whether she be only using me like the rest. I want you to be a witness of my resolution, lest I should be tempted to fail. I came to town, hesitating whether to enter the business for her sake. I found that this could not be done without a great sin. I look on myself as dedicated to the ministry, and thus bound to have a household suited to my vocation. All must turn on her willingness to conform to this standard. I shall lay it before her. I can bear the suspense no longer. My temper and resolution are going, and I am good for nothing. Let the touchstone be, whether she will resign her expedition to Ireland, HOPES AND FEARS. 237 and go quietly home with Miss Charlecote. If she will so do, there is surely that within her that will shine out brighter when removed from irritation on the one side, or folly on the other. If she will not, I have no weight with her ; and it is due to the service I am to undertake, to force myself away from a pursuit that could only distract me. I have no right to be a clergyman and choose a hindrance not a help — one whose tastes would lead back to the world, instead of to my work !' As he spoke, in stern, rigid resolution — only allow- ing himself one long, deep, heavy sigh at the end — he stood still at the gates of the court, which were opened as the rest of the party came up ; and, as they crossed and entered the hall, they beheld, through the open door of the drawing-room, two figures in the window — one, a dark torso, perched outside on the sill ; the other, in blue skirt and boy-like bodice, negligently reposing on one side of the window-seat, her dainty little boots on the other ; her coarse straw bonnet, crossed with white, upon the floor ; the wind playing tricks with the silky glory of her flaxen ringlets ; her cheek flushed with lovely carnation, declining on her shoulder ; her eyes veiled by their fair fringes. * Hallo P she cried, springing up, ' almost caught asleep !' And Owen, pocketing his pipe, spun his legs over the window-sill, while both began, in rattling, playful vindication and recrimination — T , ,, r i. f hewouldnt. It wasn t my fault { , n ,,, J { she wouiun t. 1 Indeed, I wasn't a wilful heathen ; Mr. Parsons, it was he ' 1 It was she who chose to take the by-ways, and make us late. Rush into church before a whole congrega- tion, reeking from a six miles' walk ! I've more respect for the Establishment.' 1 You walked !' cried five voices. ' See her Sabbatarianism !' ' Nonsense ! I should have driven Charlie's cab.' 238 HOPES AND FEARS. 1 Charlie has some common sense where his horse is concerned.' 1 He wanted it himself, you know.' ' She grew sulky, and victimized me to a walk.' 1 I'm sure it was excellent fun.' 1 Ay, and because poor Calthorp had proffered his cab for her to drive to Jericho, and welcome, she drags me into all sorts of streets of villanous savours, that he might not catch us up.' I Horrid hard mouth that horse of his,' said Lucilla, by way of dashing the satisfaction on Miss Charlecote's face. I I do not wonder you were late.' * Oh ! that was all Owen's doing. He vowed that he had not nerve to face the pew-opener !' ' The grim female in weeds — no, indeed !' said Owen. ' Indeed, I objected to entering in the guise of naming meteors, both on reverential and sanatory grounds.' 1 Insanatory, methinks,' said Miss Charlecote ; * how could you let her sleep, so much heated, in this thorough draught V 1 Don't natter yourself,' said Cilly, quaintly shaking her head ; ' I'm not such a goose as to go and catch cold ! Oh ! Phoebe, my salmon-flies are loveliness it- self : and I hereby give notice, that a fine of three pairs of thick boots has been proclaimed for every pun upon sisters of the angle and sisters of the angels ! So beware, Robin !' — and the comical audacity with which she turned on him, won a smile from the grave lips that had lately seemed so remote from all peril of com- plimenting her whimsies. Even Mr. Parsons said ' the fun was tempting.' 1 Come and get ready for luncheon,' said the less fascinated Honora, moving away. 1 Come and catch it !' cried the elf, skipping "upstairs before her, and facing round her ' Dear old Honey- seed.' ' I honour your motives ; but wouldn't it be for the convenience of all parties, if you took Punch's cele- brated advice — ' don't' '? ' HOPES AND FEARS. 239 1 How am I to speak, Lucy/ said Honora, ' if you come with the avowed intention of disregarding what I say r 1 Then hadn't you better not,' murmured the girl, in the lowest tone, drooping her head, and peeping under her eyelashes, as she sat with a hand on each elbow of her arm-chair, as though in the stocks. ' I would not, my child,' was the mournful answer, 'if I could help caring for you.' Lucilla sprang up and kissed her. ' Don't, then ; I don't like anybody to be sorry,' she said. ' I'm sure I'm not worth it.' 1 How can I help it, when I see you throwing away happiness — welfare — the good opinion of all your friends !' 1 My dear Honora, you taught me yourself not to mind Mrs. Grundy ! Come, never mind, the reasonable world has found out that women are less dependent than they used to be.' 1 It is not what the world thinks, but what is really decorous.' Lucilla laughed — though with some temper — ' I wonder what we are going to do otherwise !' 'You are going beyond the ordinary restraints of women in your station ; and a person who does so, can never tell to what she may expose herself. Liberties are taken when people come out to meet them.' 1 That's as they choose !' cried Lucilla, with such a gesture of her hand, such a flash of her blue eyes, that she seemed trebly the woman, and it would have been boldness indeed to presume with her. 1 Yes ; but a person who has even had to protect her- self from incivility, to which she has wilfully exposed herself, doe3 not remain what she might be behind her screen.' ' Omne ignotum pro terribili? laughed Lucilla, still not to be made serious. ' Xow, I don't believe that the world is so flagrantly bent on annoying every pretty girl. People call me vain, but I never was so vain as 240 HOPES AND FEARS. that. I've always found them, very civil; and Ire- land is the land of civility. Now, seriously, my good cousin Honor, do you candidly expect any harm to befal us V ' I do not think you likely to meet with absolute injury.' Lucilla clapped her hands, and cried, 'An admission, an admission ! I told Bashe you were a sin- cere woman.' But Miss Charlecofce went on, ' But there is harm to yourself in the affectation of masculine habits ; it is a blunting of the delicacy suited to a Christian maiden, and not like the women whom St. Paul and St. Peter describe. You would find that you had forfeited the esteem — not only of ordinary society — but of persons whose opinion you do value ; and in both these respects you would suffer harm. You, my poor child, who have no one to control you, or claim your obedience as a right, are doubly bound to be circumspect. I have no power over you ; but if you have any regard for her to whom your father con- fided you — nay, if you consult what you know would have been his wishes — you will give up this project.' The luncheon-bell had already rung, and considera- tion for the busy clergyman compelled her to go down with these last words, feeling as if there were a leaden weight at her heart. Lucilla remained standing before the glass, arrang- ing her w T ind-tossed hair ; and, in her vehemence, tear- ing out combfuls, as she pulled petulantly against the tangled curls. ' Her old way — to come over me with my father ! Ha ! — I love him too well, to let him be Miss Charlecote's engine for managing me ! — her der- nier ressort to play on my feelings. Nor will I have Bobin set at me ! Whether I go or not, shall be as I please, not as any one else does ; and if I stay at home, Bashe shall own it is not for the sake of the conclave here. I told her she might trust me.' Down she went, and at luncheon devoted herself to the captivation of Mr. Parsons ; afterwards insisting on going to the schools — she, whose aversion to them HOPES AND FEARS. 241 was Honora's vexation at home. Strangers to make a sensation were contrary to the views of the Parsonses ; but the wife found her husband inconsistent — ' one lady, more or less, could make no difference on this first Sunday ;' and, by and by, Mrs. Parsons found a set of little formal white-capped faces, so beaming with entertainment at the young lady's stories, and the young lady herself looking so charming, that she, too, fell under the enchantment. After church, Miss Charlecote proposed a few turns in the garden ; dingy enough, but a marvel for the situation : and here the tacit object cf herself and Phoebe was to afford Robert an opportunity for the interview on which so much depended. But it was like trying to catch a butterfly ; Lucilla was here, there, everywhere ; and an excuse was hardly made for leaving her beside the grave, silent young man, ere her merry tones were heard chattering to some one else. Perhaps Robert, heart-sick and oppressed with the importance of what trembled on his tongue, was not ready in seizing the moment ; perhaps she would not let him speak ; at any rate, she was aware of some design ; since, baffling Phoebe's last attempt, she danced up to her bedroom after her, and throwing her- self into a chair, in a paroxysm of laughter, cried, * You abominable little pussycat of a manceuvrer ; I thought you were in a better school for the proprie- ties ! No, don't make your round eyes, and look so dismayed, or you'll kill me with laughing ! Cook- ing tete-ct-tetes, Phoebe — I thought better of you. Oh, fie !' and holding up her finger, as if in displeasure, she hid her face in ecstasies of mirth at Phoebe's bewildered simplicity. 'Robert wanted to speak to you,' she said, with puzzled gravity. 1 And you would have set us together by the ears ! No, no, thank you, I've had enough of that sort of thing for one day. And what shallow excuses. Oh ! what fun to hear your pretexts. Wanting to see what VOL. I. 11 242 HOPES AND FEARS. Mrs. Parsons was doing, when you knew perfectly well she was deep in a sermon, and wished you at the anti- podes. And blushing all the time, like a full-blown poppy,' and off she went on a fresh score — but Phoebe, though disconcerted for a moment, was not to be put out of countenance when she understood her ground, and she continued with earnestness, undesired by her companion — ' Yery likely I managed badly, but I know you do not really think it improper to see Robert alone, and it is very important that you should do so. In- deed it is, Lucy,' she added — the youthful candour and seriousness of her pleading, in strong contrast to the flighty, mocking carelessness of Lucilla's manners ; ' do pray see him ; I know he would make you listen. Will you be so very kind ! If you would go into the little cedar room, I could call him at once.' ' Point blank ! Sitting in my cedar parlour ! Phoebe, you'll be the death of me,' cried Cilly, between peals of merriment. ' Do you think I have nerves of brass V ' You would not laugh, if you knew how much he feels.' I A very good thing for people to feel ! It saves them from torpor.' ' Lucy, it is not kind to laugh when I tell you he is miserable.' ' That's only proper, my dear,' said Lucilla, enter- tained by teasing. ' Not miserable from doubt,' answered Phoebe, dis- concerting in her turn. * We know you too well for that / and as an expression, amused, indignant, but far from favourable, came over the fair face she was watch- ing, she added in haste, ' It is this project, he thought you had said it was given up.' I I am much indebted,' said Lucilla, haughtily, but again relapsing into laughter ; ' but to find myself so easily disposed of. Oh ! Phoebe, there's no scolding such a baby as you ; but if it were not so absurd ' ' Lucy, Lucy, I beg your pardon ; is it all a mistake, HOPES AND FEARS. 243 or have I said what was wrong ? Poor Robin will be so unhappy.' Phoebe's distress touched Lucilla. ' Nonsense, you little goose ; aren't you woman enough yet to know that one flashes out at finding oneself labelled, and made over before one's time.' ' I'm glad if it was all my blundering/ said Phoebe. 1 Dear Lucy, I was very wrong, but you see I always was so happy in believing it was understood !' 'How stupid,' cried Lucilla; ' one would never have any fun ; no, you haven't tasted the sweets yet, or you would know one has no notion of being made sure of till one chooses ! Yes, yes, I saw he was primed and cocked, but I'm not going to let him go off' ' Lucy, have you no pity V 1 Not a bit ! Don't talk commonplaces, my dear." 'If you knew how much depends upon it.' ' My dear, I know that,' with an arch smile. 1 No, you do not,' said Phoebe, so stoutly that Lucilla looked at her in some suspense. 1 You think,' said honest Phoebe, in her extremity, * that he only wants to make to propose to you ! Now, it is not only that, Lucilla,' and her voice sank, as she could hardly keep from crying ; ' he will never do that if you go on as you are doing now ; he does not think it would be right for a clergyman.' 1 Oh, I dare say !' quoth Lucilla, and then a silence. * Did Honor tell him so, Phoebe ¥ 1 Never, never !' cried Phoebe ; ' no onehas said a word against you ! only don't you know how quiet and good any one belonging to a clergyman should be r ' Well, I've heard a great deal of news to-day, and it is all my own fault, for indulging in sentiment on Wednesday. I shall know better another time.' ' Then you don't care !' cried Phoebe, turning round, with eyes flashing as Lucilla did not know they could lighten. ' Very well ! If you don't think Robert worth it, I suppose I ought not to grieve, for you e2 244 HOPES AND FEARS. can't be what I used to think you ; and it will be better for him when he once has settled his mind — than if — if afterwards you disappointed him and were a fine lady — but oh ! he will be so unhappy,' her tears were coming fast ; ' and, Lucy, I did like you so much !' ' Well, this is the funniest thing of all,' cried Lu- cilla, by way of braving her own emotion ; ' little Miss Phcebe gone into the heroics !' and she caught her two hands, and holding her fast, kissed her on both cheeks ; ' a gone coon, am I, Phcebe, no better than one of the wicked ; and Bobin, he grew angry, hopped upon a twig, did he ! I beg your pardon, my dear, but it makes me laugh to think of his dignified settling of his mind. Oh ! how soon it could be unsettled a^ain ! Come, I wont have any more of this ; let it alone, Phcebe, and trust me that things will adjust themselves all the better for letting them have their swing. Don't you look prematurely uneasy, and don't go and make Robin think that I have immolated him at the altar of the salmon. Say nothing of all this ; you will only make a mess in narrating it." 1 Very likely I may,' said Phcebe ; ' but if you will not speak to him yourself, I shall tell him how you feel.' I If you can,' laughed Lucilla. I I mean, how you receive what I have told you of his views; I do not think it would be fair or kind to keep him in ignorance.' ' Much good may it do him,' said Lucy ; ' but I fancy you will tell him, whether I give you leave or not, and it can't make much difference. I'll tackle him, as the old women say, when I please, and the madder he may choose to go, the better fun it will be.' 'I believe you are saying so to tease me,' said Phcebe ; ' but as I know you don't mean it, I shall wait till after the party ; and then, unless you have had it out with him, I shall tell him what you have said.' HOPES AXD FEARS. 245 1 Thank you,' said Lucilla, ironically, conveying to Phoebe's mind the conviction that she did not believe that Robert's attachment could suffer from what had here passed. Either she meant to grant the decisive interview, or else she was too confident in her own power to believe that he could relinquish her ; at all events, Phoebe had sagacity enough to infer that she was not indifferent to him, though, as the provoking damsel ran down-stairs, Phoebe's loyal spirit first ad- mitted a doubt whether the tricksy sprite might not prove as great a torment as a delight to Robin. ' However,' reflected she, ' I shall make the less mis- chief, if I set it down while I remember it.' Not much like romance, but practical sense was both native and cultivated in Miss Fennimore's pupil. Yet as she recorded the sentences, and read them over bereft of the speaker's caressing grace, she blamed herself as unkind, and making the worst of gay retorts which had been provoked by her own home thrusts. 'At least,' she thought, 'he will be glad to see that it was partly my fault, and he need never see it at all if Lucy will let him speak to her himself.' Meantime, Honora had found from Owen that the young ladies had accepted an invitation to a very gay house in Cheshire, so that their movements would for a fortnight remain doubtful. She recurred to her view that the only measure to be taken was for him to follow them, so as to be able to interpose in any emergency, and she anxiously pressed on him the funds required. ' Shouldn't I catch it if they found me out V said Owen, shrugging his shoulders. 'No, but indeed, sweet Honey, I meant to have made up for this naughty girl's desertion. You and I would have had such rides and readings together : I want you to put me on good terms with myself.' 'My dear boy! But wont that best be done by minding your sister ? She does want it, Owen ; the 246 HOPES AND FEARS. less she will be prudent for herself, the more we must think for her !' 1 She can do better for herself than you imagine,' said Owen. ' Men say, with all her free ways, they could not go the least bit farther with her than she pleases. You wouldn't suppose it, but she can keep out of scrapes better than Rashe can — never has been in one yet, and Rashe in twenty. Never mind, your Honor, there's sound stuff in the bonny scapegrace ; all the better for being free and unconventional. The world owes a great deal to those who dare to act for themselves ; though, I own, it is a trial when one's own domestic womankind take thereto.' I Or one's mankind to encouraging it,' said Honor, smiling, but showing that she was hurt. I I don't encourage it ; I am only too wise to give it the zest of opposition. Was Lucy ever bent upon a naughty trick without being doubly incited by the pleasure of showing that she cared not for her younger brother V * I believe you are only too lazy ! But, will you go ? I don't think it can be a penance. You would see new country, and get plenty of sport.' 1 Come with me, Honey,' said he, with the most in- sinuating manner, which almost moved her. ' How jolly it would be !' ' Nonsense ! an elderly spinster,' she said, really pleased, though knowing it impossible. 1 Stuff !' he returned, in the same tone. ' Make it as good as a honeymoon. Think of Killarney, Honor !' 1 You silly boy, I can't. There's harvest at home ; besides, it would only aggravate that mad girl doubly to have me coming after her.' 1 Well, if you will not take care of me on a literal wild goose chase,' said Owen, with playful disconso- lateness, ' I'll not answer for the consequences.' 1 But, you go V ' Vacation rambles are too tempting to be resisted ; but, mind, I don't promise to act good genius save at HOPES AND FEARS. 247 the last extremity, or else I shall never get forgiven, and I shall keep some way in the rear.' So closed the consultation ; and after an evening which Lucilla perforce rendered lively, she and her brother took their leave. The next day they were to accompany the Charterises to Castle Blanch to prepare for the festivities ; Honor and her two young friends following on the Wednesday afternoon. CHAPTER VI. He who sits by haunted well Is subject to the Nixie's spell ; He who walks on lonely beach To the mermaid's charmed speech ; He who walks round ring of green Offends the peevish Fairy Queen. — Scott. iT the station nearest to Castle Blanch stood the tall form of Owen Sand- brook, telling Honor that he and his sister had brought the boat; the river was the longer way, but they would prefer it to the road ; and so indeed they did, for Phoebe herself had had enough of the City to appreciate the cool verdure and calm stillness of the meadow pathway, by which they descended to the majestic river, smoothly sleeping in glassy quiet, or stealing along in complacently dimpling ripples. On the opposite bank, shading off the sun, an oak copse sloped steeply towards the river, painting upon the surface a still shimmering likeness of the summit of the wood, every mass of foliage, every blushing spray receiving a perfect counterpart, and full in the midst of the magic mirror floated what might have been compared to the roseate queen lily of the waters on her leaf. There, in the flat, shallow boat reclined the maiden, leaning over the gunwale, gazing into the summer wavelets with which one bare pinkly-tinted hand was toying, and her silken ringlets all but dip- HOPES AND FEARS. 249 ping in, from beneath the round black hat, archly looped up on one side by a carnation bow, and encir- cled by a series of the twin jetty curls of the mal- lard ; while the fresh rose colour of the spreading muslin dress was enhanced by the black scarf that hung carelessly over it. There was a moment's pause, as if no one could break the spell ; but Owen, strid- ing on from behind, quickly dissolved the enchant- ment. 1 You monkey, you've cast off. You may float on to Greenwich next !' he indignantly shouted. She started, shaking her head saucily. ''Twas so slow there, and so broiling,' she called back, ' and I knew I should only drift down to meet you, and could put in when I pleased.' Therewith she took the sculls and began rowing towards the bank, but without force sufficient to pre- vent herself from being borne farther down than she intended. 4 1 can't help it,' she exclaimed, fearlessly laughing as she passed them. 1 Robert was ready to plunge in to stem her pro- gress, lest she should meet with some perilous eddy, but Owen laid hold on him, saying, 'Don't be ner- vous, she's all right ; only giving trouble, after the nature of women. There ; are you satisfied V he called to her, as she came to a stop against a reed bed, with a tall fence interposed between boat and passen- gers. ' A nice ferry woman you.' 1 Come and get me up again,' was all her answer. 1 Serve you right if I never picked you up till Lon- don-bridge,' he answered. ' Stand clear, Fulinort,' and with a run and a bound, he vaulted over the high hedge, and went crackling through the nodding bul- rushes and reed-maces ; while Lucy, having accom- plished pulling up one of the latter, was pointing it lancewise at him, singing, "With a bulrush for his spear, and a thimble for a hat, Wilt thou fight a traverse with the castle cat 250 HOPES AND FEARS. 1 Come, come ; 'tis too squashy here for larking,' he said, authoritatively, stepping into the boat, and bring- ing it up with such absence of effort that when a few minutes after he had brought it to the landing-place, and the freight was seated, Robert had no sooner taken the other oar than he exclaimed at the force of the stream with which Owen had dealt so easily, and Lu- cilla so coolly. 1 It really was a fearful risk/ he said reproachfully to her. ' Oh P she said ; ' I know my Thames, and my Thames knows me !' ' Now's the time to improve it,' said Owen ; ' one or other should preach about young ladies getting loose, and not knowing where they may be brought up.' ' But you see 1 did know ; besides, Phoebe's news from Paris will be better worth hearing,' said Lucilla, tick- ling her friend's face with the soft long point of her dark velvety mace. ' My news from Paris V 1 For shame, Phcebe ! Your face betrays you.' 1 Lucy ; how could you know ] I had not even told Miss Charlecote I' 'It's true! it's true!' cried Lucilla. 'That's just what I wanted to know !' 1 Lucy, then it was not fair,' said Phcebe, much dis- composed. 'I was desired to tell no one, and you should not have betrayed me into doing so.' ' Phcebe, you always were a green oasis in a wicked world !' ' And now, let me hear,' said Miss Charlecote. ' I can't natter you, Phcebe ; I thought you were labour- ing under a suppressed secret.' ' Only since this morning,' pleaded Phcebe, earnestly ; 1 and we were expressly forbidden to mention it ; I cannot imagine how Lucy knows.' ' By telegraph !' Phoebe's face assumed an expression of immeasurable wonder. HOPES AXD FEARS. 251 1 1 almost hope to find you at cross purposes, after all,' said Honora. 1 No such good luck,' laughed Lucilla. ' Cinderella's seniors never could go off two at a time. Ah ! there's the name, I beg your pardon, Phoebe.' ' But, Lucy, what can you mean ? Who can have telegraphed about Augusta V 1 Ah ! you knew not the important interests involved, nor Augusta how much depended on her keeping the worthy admiral in play. It was the nearest thing — had she only consented at the end of the evening in- stead of the beginning, poor Lord William would have had the five guineas that he wants so much more than Mr. Calthorp.' 1 Lucy P I It was a bet that Sir Nicholas would take six calen- dar months to supply the place of Lady Bannerman. It was the very last day. If Augusta had only waited till twelve I' ' You don't mean that he has been married before. I thought he was such an excellent man !' said Phoebe, in a voice that set others besides Lucilla off into irre- sistible mirth. ' Once, twice, thrice I' cried Lucilla. ' Catch her, Honor, before she sinks into the river in disgust with this treacherous world.' ' Do you know him, Lucy t earnestly said Phcebe. ' Yes, and two of the wives ; we used to visit them because he was an old captain of Uncle Kit's.' I I would not believe in number three, Phcebe, if I were you,' said Owen, consolingly ; ' she wants confir- mation.' ' Two are as bad as three,' sighed Phcebe ; * and Augusta did not even call him a widower.' 1 Cupid bandaged ! It was a case of love at first sight. Met at the Trois Freres Provenqav.x, heard each other's critical remarks, sought an introduction, compared notes ; he discovered her foresight with re- gard to pale ale ; each felt that here was a kindred soul !' 252 HOPES AND FEARS. ' That could not have been telegraphed P said Phcebe, recovering spirit and incredulity. ' No ; the telegraph was simply ' Bannermau, Ful- mort. 8.30 p.m., July 10th.' The other particulars followed by letter this morning.' < How old is he V asked Phoebe, with resignation. I Any age above sixty. What, Phcebe, taking it to heart? I was prepared with congratulations. It is only second best, to be sure ; but don't you see your own emancipation V I I believe that had never occurred to Phcebe,' said Owen. 'I beg your pardon, Lucy,' said Phoebe, thinking that she had appeared out of temper ; ' only it had sounded so nice in Augusta's letter, and she was so kind, and somehow it jars that there should have been that sort of talk.' Cilly was checked. In her utter want of thought it had not occurred to her that Augusta Fulmort could be other than a laughing-stock, or that any bright anti- cipations could have been spent by any reasonable per- son on her marriage. Perhaps the companionship of Rashe, and the satirical outspoken tone of her asso- ciates, had somewhat blunted her perception of what might be offensive to the sensitive delicacy of a young sister ; but she instantly perceived her mistake, and the carnation deepened in her cheek, at having distressed Phcebe, and .... Not that she had deigned any notice of Robert after the first cold shake of the hand, and he sat rowing with vigorous strokes, and a countenance of set gravity, more as if he were a boatman than one of the party ; Lucilla could not even meet his eye when she peeped under her eyelashes to recover defiance by the sight of his displeasure. It was a relief to all when Honora exclaimed, ' Wrapworth ! how pretty it looks.' It was, indeed, pretty, seen through the archway of the handsome stone bridge. The church tower and picturesque village were set off by the frame that HOPES AND FEARS. 253 closed them in ; and though they lost somewhat of the enchantment when the boat shot from under the arch, they were still a fair and goodly English scene. Lucilla steered towards the steps leading to a smooth shaven lawn, shaded by a weeping willow, well known to Honor. 1 Here we land you and your bag, Robert,' said Owen, as he put in. ' Cilly, have a little sense, do.' But Lucilla, to the alarm of all, was already on her feet, skipped like a chamois to the steps, and flew dancing up the sward. Ere Owen and Robert had helped the other two ladies to land in a more rational manner, she was shaking her mischievous head at a window, and thrusting in her sceptral reed-mace. 'Neighbour, oh, neighbour, I'm come to torment you ! Yes, here we are in full force, ladies and all, and you must come out and behave pretty. Never mind your slippers ; you ought to be proud of the only thing I ever worked. Come out, I say; here's your guest, and you must be civil to him.' ' 1 am very glad to see Mr. Fulmort,' said Mr. Pren- dergast, his only answer in words to all this, though while it was going on, as if she were pulling him by wires, as she imperiously waved her bulrush, he had stuck his pen into the inkstand, run his fingers in desperation through his hair, risen from his seat, gazed about in vain for his boots, and felt as fruitlessly on the back of the door for a coat to replace the loose alpaca article that hung on his shoulders. ' There. You've gone through all the motions,' said Cilly, ' that'll do ; now, come out and receive them.' Accordingly, he issued from the door, shy and slouching ; rusty where he wore cloth, shiny where he wore alpaca, wild as to his hair, gay as to his feet, but, withal, the scholarly gentleman complete, and not a day older or younger, apparently, then when Honor had last seen him, nine years since, in bondage then to the child playing at coquetry, as now to the coquette playing at childhood. It was curious, Honor thought, 254 HOPES AND FEARS. to see how, though so much more uncouth and negli- gent than Robert, the indefinable signs of good blood made themselves visible, while they were wanting in one as truly the Christian gentleman in spirit and in education. Mr. Prendergast bowed to Miss Charlecote, and shook hands with his guest, welcoming him kindly ; but the two shy men grew more bashful by contact, and Honor found herself, Owen, and Lucilla sustaining the chief of the conversation, the curate apparently looking to the young lady to protect him and do the honours, as she did by making him pull down a cluster of his roses for her companions, and conducting them to eat his straw- berries, which she treated as her own, flitting, butterfly like, over the beds, selecting the largest and ruddiest specimens, while her slave plodded diligently to fill cabbage-leaves, and present them to the party in due gradation. Owen stood by amused, and silencing the scruples of his companions. ' He is in Elysium,' he said ; i he had rather be plagued by Cilly than receive a mitre ! Don't hinder him, Honey; it is his pride to treat us as if we were at home and he our guest.' I Wrapworth has not been seen without Edna Mur- rell,' Tsaid Lucilla, flinging the stem of her last straw- berry at her brother, ' and Miss Charlecote is a woman of schools. What, aren't we to go, Mr. Prendergast V I I beg your pardon. I did not know.' 'Well; what is it?' ' I do sometimes wish Miss Murrell were not such an attraction.' ' You did not think that of yourself.' ' Well, I don't know ; Miss Murrell is a very nice young woman,' he hesitated, as Cilly seemed about to thrust him through with her reed ; ( but couldn't you, Cilia, now, give her a hint that it would be better if she would associate more with Mrs. Jenkyns, and ' ' Couldn't, Mr. Prendergast ; I've more regard for HOPES AND FEARS. 255 doing as I would be done by. When you see Edna, Honor ' 1 They are very respectable women,' said the curate, standing his ground ; ' and it would be much better for her than letting it be said she gives herself airs.' 1 That's all because we have had her up to the castle to sing.' 1 Well, so it is, I believe. They do say, too — I don't know whether it is so — that the work has not been so well attended to, nor the children so orderly.' 1 Spite, spite, Mr. Prendergast ; I had a better opinion of you than to think you could be taken in by the tongues of Wrap worth.' ' Well, certainly I did hear a great noise the other day.' ' I see how it is ! This is a systematic attempt to destroy the impression I wished to produce.' He tried to argue that he thought very well of Miss Murrell, but she would not hear; and she went on with her pretty, saucy abuse, in her gayest tones, as she tripped along the churchyard path, now, doubtless, too familiar to renew the associations that might have tamed her spirits. Perhaps the shock her vivacity gave to the feelings of her friends was hardly reasonable, but it was not the less real ; though, even in passing, Honora could not but note the improved condition of the two graves, now carefully tended, and with a lovely white rose budding between them. A few more steps, and from the open window of the school-house there was heard a buzz and hum, not out- rageous, but which might have caused the item of dis- cipline not to figure well in an inspector's report \ but Mr. Prendergast and Lucilla appeared habituated to the like, for they proceeded without apology. It was a handsome gable-ended building, Elizabethan enough to testify to the taste that had designed it, and with a deep porch, where Honor had advanced, under Lucilla's guidance, so as to have a moment's view of the whole scene before their arrival had disturbed it. 256 HOPES AND FEARS. The children's backs were towards the door, as they sat on their forms at work. Close to the oriel window, the only person facing the door, with a table in front of her, there sat, in a slightly reclining attitude, a figure such as all reports of the new race of schoolmistresses had hardly led Honor to imagine to be the bond fide mistress. Yet the dress was perfectly quiet, merely lilac cotton, with no ornament save the small bow of the same colour at the throat, and the hair was simply folded round the head, but it was magnificent raven hair ; the head and neck were grandly made ; the form finely proportioned, on a large scale ; the face really beautiful, in a pale, dark, Italian style; the complexion of the clearest olive, but as she became aware of the presence of the visitors it became overspread with a lovely hue of red ; while the eyelids revealed a superb pair of eyes, liquid depths of rich brown, soft and lan- guid, and befitting the calm dignity with which she rose, curtseyed, and signed to her scholars to do the same ; the deepening colour alone betraying any sense of being taken by surprise. Lucilla danced up to her, chattering with her usual familiar, airy grace. ' Well, Edna, how are you getting on 1 Have I brought a tremendous host to invade you l I wanted Miss Charlecote to see you, for she is a per- fect connoisseur in schools.' Edna's blush grew more carnation, and the fingers shook so visibly with which she held the work, that Honora was provoked with Lucy for embarrassing the poor young thing by treating her as an exhibition, especially as the two young gentlemen were present, Robert with his back against the door-post in a state of resignation, Owen drawing Phoebe's attention to the little ones whom he was puzzling with incomprehen- sible remarks and questions. Hoping to end the scene, Honor made a few commonplace inquiries as to the numbers and the habits of the school ; but the mistress, though preserving her dignity of attitude, seemed hardly able to speak, and the curate replied for her. HOPES AND FEARS. 257 1 1 see,' said Lucilla, ' your eye keeps roaming to the mischief my naughty brother is doing among the fry down there.' ' Oh, no ! ma'am. I beg your pardon ' ' Never mind, I'll remove the whole concern in a moment, only we must have some singing first.' ' Don't, Lucy !' whispered Honor, looking up from an inspection of some not first-rate needlework ; ' it is distressing her, and displays are contrary to all rules of discipline.' 1 Oh ! but you must,' cried Cilly. ' You have not seen Wrapworth without. Come, Edna, my bonnie- bell,' and she held out her hand in that semi-imperi- ous, semi-caressing manner which very few had ever withstood. 'One song,' echoed Owen, turning towards the elder girls. ' I know you'll oblige me ; eh, Fanny Blake f To the scholars the request was evidently not dis- tasteful j the more tuneful were gathering together, and the mistress took her station among them, all as if the exhibition were no novelty. Lucilla, laying her hand on the victim's arm, said, ' Come, don't be ner- vous, or what will you do to-morrow ? Come.' ' " Goddess of the Silver Bow," ' suggested Owen. * Wasn't it that which your mother disapproved, Fanny, because it was worshipping idols to sing about great Diana of the Ephesians V ' Yes, sir,' said rather a conceited voice from the prettiest of the elder girls ; ' and you told us it was about Phoebe Bright, and gave her the blue and silver ribbon.' ' And please, sir,' said another less prepossessing damsel, ' Mrs. Jenkyns took it away, and I said I'd tell you.' Owen shrugged up his shoulders with a comical look, saying, as he threw her a shilling, ' Never mind ; there's a silver circle instead of a bow — that will do as well. Here's a rival goddess for you, Phoebe ; two moons in a system.' VOL. i. s 258 HOPES AND FEAES. The girls were in a universal titter, the mistress with her eyes cast down, blushing more than ever. Lncilla muttered an amused but indignant, 'For shame, Owen !' and herself gave the key-note. The performance was not above the average of National School melody, but no sooner was it over, than Owen named, in an under tone, another song, which was in- stantly commenced, and in which there joined a voice that had been still during the first, but which soon completely took the lead. And such a voice, coming as easily as the notes of the nightingale from the nobly formed throat, and seeming to fill the room with its sweet power ! Lucillas triumph was complete ; Honor's scruples were silenced by the admiring enjoyment, and Phcebe was in a state of rapture. The nervous reluc- tance had given way to the artistic delight in her own power, and she readily sang all that was asked for, latterly such pieces as needed little or no support from the children — the ' Three Fishers' Wives' coming last, and thrilling every one with the wondrous pathos and sadness of the tones that seemed to come from her very heart. Tt seemed as if they would never have come away, had uot Mr. Prendergast had pity on the restless movements of some of the younglings who, taking no part in the display, had leisure to perceive that the clock had struck their hour of release, and at the close of ' The Fishers' Wives,' he signed to Lucilla to look at the hour. 1 Poor little things !' said she, turning round to the gaping and discontented collection, ' have we used you so ill? Never mind.' Again using her bulrush to tickle the faces that looked most injured, and waken them into smiles — ' Here's the prison house open,' and she sprang out. ' Now — come with a whoop and come with a call — I'll give my club to anybody that can catch me before I get down to the vicarage garden.' Light as the wind, she went bounding, flying across the churchyard like a butterfly, ever and anon pausing HOPES AND FEARS. 259 to look round, nod, and shake her sceptre, as the urchins tumbled confusedly after, far behind, till closing the gate, she turned, poised the reed javelin-wise in the air, and launched it among them. 1 It is vain to try to collect them again,' sighed Mr. Prendergast, ' we must shut up. Good night, Miss Murrell ;' and therewith he turned back to his garden, where the freakish sprite, feigning night, took refuge in the boat, cowering down, and playfully hiding her face in deprecation of rebuke, but all she received was a meekly melancholy, ' O Cilia ! prayers.' 1 One day's less loathing of compulsory devotion,' was her answer in saucy defiance. ' I owed it to them for the weariness of listening for ten minutes to the " Three Fishers' Wives," which they appreciated as little as their pastor did !' ' I know nothing about songs, but when one wants them — poor things — to look to something better than sleep.' ' Oh, hush ! Here are Miss Charlecote and Mr. Ful- mort on your side, and I can't be crushed with united morality in revenge for the tears Edna caused you all to shed. There, help Miss Charlecote in ; where can Owen be dawdling 1 You can't pull, Phoebe, or we would put off without him. Ah, there !' as he came bounding down, 'you intolerable loiterer, I was just going to leave you behind.' 1 The train starting without the engine,' he said, get- ting into his place ; 'yes, take an oar if you like, little gnat, and fancy yourself helping.' The gay warfare, accompanied by a few perilous tricks on Lucilla's part, lasted through the further voyage. Honora guessed at a purpose of staving off graver remonstrance, but Phoebe looked on in astonish- ment. Seventeen is often a more serious time of life than two-and-twenty, and the damsel could not com- prehend the possibility of thoughtlessness when there was anything to think about. The ass's bridge W99 nothing compared with Lucy ! Moreover the habits s 2 260' HOPES AND FEARS. of persiflage of a lively family often are confusing to one not used to the tone of jest and repartee, and Phoebe had as little power as will to take part in what was passing between the brother and sister ; she sat like the spectator of a farce in a foreign tongue, till the boat had arrived at the broad open extent of park gently sweeping down towards the river, the masses of trees kept on either side so as to leave the space open where the castle towered in pretentious grandeur, with a flag slowly swaying in the summer wind on the top of the tallest turret. The trees made cool reaches of shade, varied by in- tervals of hot sunshine, and much longer did the way appear, creeping onward in the heat, than it had looked when the eye only took in the simple expanse of turf, from river to castle. Phoebe looked to her arrival there, and to bedroom conferences, as the moment of recovering a reasonable Lucy, but as they neared the house, there was a shout from the wire fence enclosing the shrubbery on the eastern side, and Horatia was seen standing at the gate calling them to come into the cloisters and have some sustenance. Passing the screen of shrubs, a scene lay before them, almost fit for the gardens of Seville. Three sides of an extensive square were enclosed by the semi-gothic buildings, floridly decorated with stone carving ; one consisted of the main edifice, the lower windows tented with striped projecting blinds ; a second of the wing containing the reception rooms, fronted by the imitative cloister, which was continued and faced with glass on the third side — each supporting column covered with climbing plants, the passion flower, the tropseoluni, the trumpet honeysuckle, or even the pomegranate, opening their gay blooms on every side. The close-shaven turf was broken by small patches of gorgeously-tinted flower beds, diversified by vases filled with trailing plants, and lines of orange trees and fuchsias, with here and there a deep-belled datura, all converging towards the central marble HOPES AND FEARS. 261 fountain, where the water played high, and tinkled coolly in sparkling jets. Between it and the house, there were placed in the shade some brightly-tinted cushions and draperies, lounging chairs, and a low table, bearing an oriental-looking service of tiny cups of all kinds of bright and fantastic hues, no two alike. Near it reclined on her cushions a figure in perfect keeping with the scene, her jetty hair contrasting with her gold and coral net, her scarlet gold-embroidered slipper peepiug out from her pale buff-coloured dress, deeply edged with rich purple, and partly concealed by a mantle of the unapproachable pink which suggests Persia, all as gorgeous in apparel as the blue and yellow macaw on his pole, and the green and scarlet lories in their cage. Owen made a motion of smoking with Honor's parasol, whispering, ' Fair Fatima ! what more is wanting ? ' ' There ! I've got Lolly out ! ' cried Horatia, ad- vancing with her vehement cordiality, and grasping their hands with all her might ; ' I would have come and pulled you up the river, Miss Charlecote, but for imperative claims. Here's some tea for you ; I know you must be parched.' And while Mrs. Charteris, scarcely rising, held out her ring-encrusted fingers, and murmured a greeting, Ttatia settled them all, pushed a chair behind Miss Charlecote, almost threw Phoebe on a cushion, handed tea, scolded Owen, and rattled away to Lucillawith an impetus that kept Phcebe in increased wonder. It was all about the arrangements for the morrow, full of the utmost good-nature and desire to secure every one's pleasure, but all discussed in a broad, out-spoken way, with a liberal use of slang phrases, and of unprefaced surnames, a freedom of manner and jovial carelessness of voice that specially marked Pashe Charteris at home. Phcebe had a good deal of opportunity for these observations, for as soon as her stream of information was exhausted, Pashe jumped up and insisted on con- 262 HOPES AND FEARS. ducting the guests round the hot-houses and pleasure- grounds. She knew Miss Charlecote was a famous hand at such things. Lucilla remained on the grass, softly teasing Lolly about the exertions of the morrow, and Owen applying himself to the care of Honor, Rashe took possession of Phcebe with all the tyrannous good-nature that had in baby days rendered her hate- ful to Lucilla. She showed off the parrots and gold fish as to a child, she teased the sensitive plant, and explained curiosities down to the level of the youth- ful intellect j and Phcebe, scientific enough to know if she went wrong in botany or locality, began a word or two of modest suggestion, only to be patronizingly enlightened, and stopt short, in the fear of pedantry. Phcebe had yet to learn the ignorance of the world. At last, with a huge torrent of explanations and excuses, Rati a consigned the two guests to share the same bedroom and dressing-room. The number of gentlemen visitors had necessitated close packing, and Cilly, she said, had come to sleep in her room. Another hope had failed ! But at the moment when the door was shut, Phcebe could only sink into a chair, untie her bonnet, and fan herself. Such oppressive good- nature was more fatiguing than a ten miles' walk, or than the toughest lesson in political economy. 1 If nature have her own ladies,' was Honora's com- ment on her young friend's exhaustion, ' she likewise has her own dairy -maids i ' 1 Miss Charteris is a lady,' said Phcebe, her sense of the intended kindness of her hostess calling her to speak in vindication. * Yes,' said Honor, hesitating ; 'it is station that emboldens her. If she had been a dairy-maid, she would have been a bouncing rude girl ; if a farmers daughter, she would be hearty and useful ; if one of the boasters of gentility, she would think it worth while to restrain herself ; as she is, her acknowledged birth and breeding enable her to follow her inclinations without fear of opinion.' HOPES AND FEARS. 2 Co 1 1 thought refinement was one great characteristic of a lady,' said Phcebe. ' So it is, but affectation and false shame are the contrary. .Refinement was rather overworked, and there has been a reaction of late ; simplicity and un- constraint have been the fashion, but unfortunately some dispositions are not made to be unconstrained.' 'Lucy is just as unrestrained as her cousin,' said Phcebe, ' but she never seems like her. She offends one's judgment sometimes, but never one's taste — at least hardly ever ;' and Phcebe blushed as she thought of what had passed about her sister that day. 1 Poor Lucy ! it is one misfortune of pretty people, that they can seldom do what is taken amiss. She is small and feminine, too, and essentially refined, what- ever she can do. But I was very sorry for you to-day, Phoebe. Tell me all about your sister, my dear.' 1 They knew more than I did, if all that is true,' said Phcebe. ' Augusta wrote — oh ! so kindly — and seemed so glad, that it made me very happy. And papa gave his consent readily to Robert's doing as he pleased, and almost said something about his taking me to the wedding at Paris. If Lucy should — should accept Robin, I wonder if she would go, too, and be bridesmaid ! ' So they comforted themselves with a few pretty auguries, dressed, and went down to dinner, where Phoebe had made sure that, as before, Lucy would sit next Robin, and be subdued. Alas, no ! Ladies were far too scarce articles for even the last but one to be the prize of a mere B. A. To know who were Phoebe's own neighbours would have been distraction to Juliana, but they were lost on one in whom the art of conver- sation was yet undeveloped, and who was chiefly intent on reading her brother's face, and catching what Lucy was saying. She had nearly given up listening in despair, when she heard, \ Pistols ? oh, of course. Rashe has gone to the expense of a revolver, but I extracted grandpapa's from the family armoury — such 264, HOPES AND FEARS. little darlings. I'm strongly tempted to send a chal- lenge, just to keep them in use — that's because you despise me — I'm a crack shot — we practised every day last winter — women shoot much better than men, be- cause they don't make their hands unsteady — what can be better than the guidance of Ratia, the feminine of Ratio, reason, isn't it 1 ' It is not quite certain that this horrible Latinity did not shock Miss Fennimore's discreet pupil more than all the rest, as a wilful insult to Miss Charlecote's education ! She herself was not to escape ' the guidance of Ratia,' after dinner. Her silence had been an addi- tional proof to the good-natured Rashe that she was a child to be protected and entertained, so she paraded her through the rooms, coaxed her to play when no one was listening, showed her illustrated books and new-fashioned puzzles, and domineered over her so closely, that she had not a moment in which to speak a word to her brother, whom she saw disconsolately watching the hedge of gentlemen round Lucy. Was it wrong to feel so ungrateful to a person exclusively devoted to her entertainment for that entire evening % Phoebe had never known a room-mate nor the solace of a bed-time gossip, and by the time Miss Charlecote began to think of opening the door between their rooms, and discussing the disgusts of the day, the sounds of moving about had ceased. Honor looked in, and could not help advancing to the bedside to enjoy the sight of the rosy face in the sound healthful sleep, the lips unclosed, and the silken brown hair wound plainly across the round brow, the childish out- line and expression of the features even sweeter in sleep than awake. It rested Honora's wearied anxious spirit to watch the perfect repose of that innocent young face, and she stood still for some minutes, breathing an ejaculation that the child might ever be as guileless and peaceful as now, and then sighing at the thought of other young sleepers, beside HOPES AND FEARS. 2G5 whose couches even fonder prayers had been uttered, only, as it seemed, to be blown aside. She was turning away, when Phcebe suddenly awoke, and was for a moment startled, half rising, asking if anything were the matter. ' No, my dear ; only I did not think you would have been in bed so quickly. I came to wish you good night, and found j 7 ou asleep.' And with the strong tender impulse of a gentle wounded spirit, Honor hung over the maiden, recomposing the clothes, and fondling her, with a murmured blessing. 'Dear Miss Charlecote,' whispered Phoebe, 'how nice it is ! I have so often wondered what it would be like, if any one came in to pet us at night, as they do in books ; and oh ! it is so nice ! Say that again, please.' TJmt was the blessing which would have made Lucilla in angry reserve hide her head in the clothes ! CHAPTER VII. But, ah me ! she's a heart of stone, Which Cupid uses for a hone, I verily believe ; And on it sharpens those eye-darts, With which he wounds the simple hearts He bribes her to deceive. A Coquette, hy X. REAKFAST was late, and lengthened out by the greater lateness of many of the guests, and the superlative tardiness of the lady of the house, who had repu- diated the cares of the hostess, and left the tea equipage to her sister-in-law. Lucilla had been downstairs among the first, and hurried away again after a rapid meal, forbidding any one to follow her, because she had so much to do, and on entering the drawing-room, she was found with a wil- derness of flowers around her, filling vases and making last arrangements. Honora and Phoebe were glad to be occupied, and Phoebe almost hoped to escape from Rashe. Speaking to Lucilla was not possible, for Eloisa had been placed by Rashe ina low chair, with a saucer before her, which she was directed to fill with verbenas, while the other four ladies, with Owen, whom his cousin had called to their aid, were putting last touches to wreaths, and giving the final festal air to the rooms. Presently Robert made his appearance as the bearer of Mr. Prendergast's flowers, and setting his back against a shutter, in his favourite attitude, stood look- HOPES AXD FEARS. 2G7 ing as if lie wanted to help, but knew not how. Phoebe, at least, was vividly conscious of his presence, but she was supporting a long festoon with which Owen was adorning a pier-glass, and could hardly even turn her head to watch him. 1 Oh, horrid !' cried Lucilla, retreating backwards to look at Ratia's performance ; ' for love or money, a bit of clematis !' ' Where shall I find one V said Robert, unseeing the masses waving on the cloister, if, good youth, he even knew what clematis was. 1 You there, Mr. Fulmort !' exclaimed Rashe ; ' for goodness gracious sake, go out to tennis or something with the other men. I've ordered them all out, or there'll be no good to be got out of Cilly.' Phoebe flashed out in his defence, ' You are letting Owen alone.' 1 Ah ! by the bye, that wreath of yours has taken an unconscionable time !' said Miss Charteris, beginning to laugh ; but Phoebe's grave, straightforward eyes met her with such a look as absolutely silenced her merri- ment into a mere mutter of ' What a little chit it is !' Honora, who was about indignantly to assume the pro- tection of her charge, recognised in her what was fully competent to take care of herself. 1 Away with both of you,' said Lucilla ; ' here is Edna come for a last rehearsal, and I wont have you making her nervous. Take away that Robin, will you, Owen V Horatia flew gustily to greet and reassure the school- mistress as she entered, trembling, although moving with the dignity that seemed to be her form of embar- rassment. Lucilla meanwhile sped to the others near the window. * You must go,' she said, ' or I shall never screw her up ; it is a sudden access of stage fright. She is as pale as death.' Owen stepped back to judge of the paleness, and Robert contrived to say, ' Cannot you grant me a few words, Lucy]' 268 HOPES AND FEARS. ' The most impossible thing you could have asked,' she replied. ' There's Rashe's encouragement quite done for her now !' She bounded back to the much-overcome Edna, while Phoebe herself, perceiving how ill-advised an oppor- tunity Robert had chosen, stepped out with him into the cloister, saying, ' She can't help it, dear Robin j she cannot think, just now.' ' When can she V he asked, almost with asperity. ' Think how full her hands are, how much excited she is,' pleaded Phoebe, feeling that this was no fair moment for the crisis. 1 Ireland V almost groaned Robert, but at the same moment grasped her roughly to hinder her from re- plying, for Owen was close upon them, and he was the person to whom Robert would have been most reluc- tant to display his feelings. Catching intuitively at his meaning, Phoebe directed her attention to some clematis on the opposite side of the cloister, and called both her companions to gather it for her, glad to be with Robert and to relieve Miss Murrell of the presence of another spectator. Charles Charteris coming up, carried the two young men to inspect some of his doings out of doors, and Phoebe returned with her wreaths of creepers to find that the poor schoolmistress had become quite hysterical, and had been taken away by Lucilla. Rashe summoned her at the same time to the deco- ration of the music-room, and on entering, stopped in amusement, and made her a sign in silence to look into a large pier-glass, which stood so as to reflect through an open door what was passing in the little fanciful bou- doir beyond, a place fitted like a tent, and full of quaint Dresden china and toys of bijouterie. There was a complete picture within the glass. Lucilla, her fair face seen in profile, more soft and gentle than she often allowed it to appear, was kneeling beside the couch where half reclined the tall, handsome Edna, whose raven hair, and pale, fine features made her like a HOPES AND FEARS. 269 heroine, as she nervously held the hands which Lucilla had placed within her grasp. There was a low murmur of voices, one soothing, the other half sobbing, but no- thing reached the outer room distinctly, till, as Phoebe was holding a long wreath, which Ratia was tying up, she heard — ' Oh ! but it is so different with me from you young ladies who are used to company and all. I dare say that young lady would not be timid.' ' What young lady, Edna ? Not the one with the auburn hair?' Ratia made an ecstatic face which disgusted Phoebe. 'Oh, no ! — the young lady whom Mr. Sandbrook was helping. I dare say she would not mind singing — or anything,' came amid sobs. Patia nodded, looked excessively arch, and formed a word with her lips, which Phoebe thought was 'jealous,' but could not imagine what she could mean by it. 1 1 don't know why you should think poor Phoebe Fulmort so brazen. She is a mere child, taking a holi- day from her strict governess.' Phcebe laughed back an answer to Pashe's panto- mime, which in this case she understood. 1 She has not had half your training in boldness, with your inspectors and examinations, and alj those horrid things. Why, you never thought of taking fright be- fore, even when you have sung to people here. Why should you, now V 1 It is so different, now — so many more people. Oh, so different ! I shall never be able.' ' Not at all. You will quite forget all about your- self and your fears when the time comes. You don't know the exhilaration of a room full of people, all lights and music ! That symphony will lift you into another world, and you will feel quite ready for " Men must work and women must weep." ' ' If I can only begin — but oh ! Miss Sandbrook;, shall you be far away from me V * No, E promise you not. I will bring you down, if you will come to Ratia's room when you are dressed. 270 HOPES AND FEARS. The black silk and the lilac ribbon Owen and I chose for you ; I must see you in it.' ' Dear Miss Sandbrook, you are so kind ! What shall I do when you have left V 1 You are going yourself for the holidays, silly puss !' 'Ah ! but no one else sympathizes or enters into my feelings.' 1 Feelings !' said Lucilla, lightly, yet sadly. ' Don't indulge in them, Edna ; they are no end of a torment.' ' Ah ! but if they prey on one, one cannot help it.' Raske made a face of great distaste. Phoebe felt as if it were becoming too confidential to permit of listen- ing, all the more as she heard Lucilla's reply. ' That's what comes of being tall, and stately, and dignified ! There's so much less of me that I can carry off my troubles twice as well." 1 Oh, dear Miss Sandbrook, you can have no troubles !' 'Haven't I? Oh, Edna, if you knew ! You that have a mother can never know what it is to be like me ! I'm keeping it all at bay, lest I should break down ; but I'm in the horridest bother and trouble.' Not knowing what might come next, ashamed of having listened to so much, yet with one gleam of re- newed hope, Phcebe resolutely disobeyed Ratia's frowns and gestures, and made her presence known by decided movements and words spoken aloud. She saw the immediate effect in Edna Murrell's violent start ; but Lucilla, without moving, at once began to sing, straining her thin though sweet voice, as though to surmount a certain tremulousness. Edna joined, and the melody was lovely to hear ; but Phoebe was longing all the time for Robert to be at hand for this softer moment, and she hoped all the more when, the practising being over, and Edna dismissed, Lucy came springing towards her, notifying her presence by a caress — to outward appearance merely playful, but in reality a convulsive clasp of vehement affection — and Phcebe was sure that there had been tears in those eyes that seemed to do nothing but laugh. HOPES AND FEAES. 271 The security that this wild elf was true at heart was however, not enough for Phoebe. There was the know- ledge that each moment's delay would drive Robert farther aloof, and that it was a mere chance whether he should encounter this creature of impulse at a pro- pitious instant. Nay, who could tell what was best for him after all ? Even Phoebe's faithful acceptance of her on his word had undergone sundry severe shocks, and she had rising doubts whether Lucy, such as she saw her, could be what would make him happy. If the secrets of every guest at a fete were told, would any be found unmix edly happy ? Would there be no one devoid of cares of their own or of other peoj:>le's, or if exempt from these, undisturbed by the absence of the right individual or by the presence of the wrong one, by mishaps of deportment, difficulties of dress, or want of notice ? Perhaps, after all, it may be best to have some one abiding anxiety, strong enough to destroy tedium, and exclude the pettier dis- tresses, which are harder to contend with, though less dignified ; and most wholesome of all is it that this should be an interest entirely external. So, after all, Phoebe's enjoyment might hardly have been increased had her thoughts been more free from Robin's troubles, when she came down dressed for her first party, so like a lily of the valley in her delicate dress, that Owen acknowledged that it justified her choice, and mur- mured something of ' in vernal green and virgin white, her festal robes, arrayed.' Phoebe was only distressed at what she thought the profanation of quoting from such a source in compliment to her. Honora was gra- tified to find the lines in his memory upon any terms. Poor dear Honor, in one case at least believing all things, hoping all things ! Phcebe ought to have made the most of her compli- ment. It was all she obtained in that line. Juliana herself could not have taken umbrage at her success. Nobody imagined her come out, no one attempted to disturb her from under Miss Charlecote's wing, and she 272 HOPES AND FEARS. kept close to her the whole afternoon, sometimes sitting ■upon a haycock, sometimes walking in the shrubbery, listening to the band, or looking at the archery, in company with dignified clergyman, or elderly lady, as- tonished to meet Honor Charlecote in so unwonted a scene. Owen Sandbrook was never far off. He took them to eat ices, conducted them to good points of view, found seats for them, and told them who every one was, with droll comments or anecdotes, which en- tertained them so much, that Phoebe almost wished that Robin had not made her sensible of the grain of irreverence that seasoned all Owen's most brilliant sallies. They saw little of the others. Mr. and Mrs. Char- teris walked about together, the one cordial, the other stately and gorgeous, and Miss Charlecote came in for her due and passing share of their politeness. Rashe once invited Phoebe to shoot, but had too many on her hands to be solicitous about one. Flirting no longer herself, Rashe's delight was in those who did flirt, and in any assembly her extreme and unscrupulous good- nature made her invaluable to all who wanted to have- themselves taken off their own hands, or pushed into those of others. She ordered people about, started amusements, hunted gentlemen up, found partners, and shook up the bashful. Rashe Charteris was the life of everything. How little was wanting to make her kind- hearted activity admirable ! Lucilla never came in their way at all. She was only seen in full and eager occupation embellishing the archery, or forcing the ' decidedly pious' to be fasci- nated by her gracious self-adaptation. Robert was equally inaccessible, always watching her, but keeping aloof from his sister, and only cou sorting at times with Mr. Prendergast. It was seven o'clock when this act of the drama was finally over, and the party staying in the house met round a hurried meal. Rashe lounging and yawning, laughing and quizzing, in a way amazing to Phcebe ; HOPES AND FEARS. 273 Lucilla in the very summit of spirits, rattling and laughing away in full swing. Thence the party dis- persed to dress, but Honora had no sooner reached her room than she said, ' I mast go and find Lucy. I must do my duty by her, little hope as I have. She has avoided me all day ; I must seek her now.' What a difference time and discipline had made in •one formerly so timid and gentle as to be alarmed at the least encounter, and nervous at wandering about a strange house. Nervous and frightened, indeed, she still was, but self-control kept this in check, and her dislike was not allowed to hold her back from her duty. Humfrey's representative was seldom permitted to be weak. But there are times when the difference be- tween man and woman is felt in their dealings with others. Strength can be mild, but what is strained can seldom be gentle, and when she knocked at Horatia Charteris's door, her face, from very unhappiness and effort, was sorrowfully reproachful, as she felt herself an unwelcome apparition to the two cousins, who lay on their bed still laughing over the day's events. Rashe, who was still in her morning dress, at once gave way, saying she must go and speak to Lolly, and hastened out of the room. Lucy, in her dishabille, sat crouched upon the bed, her white bare shoulders and floating hair, together with the defiant glance of the blue eye, and the hand moodily compressing the lips, reminding Honor of the little creature who had been summarily carried into her house sixteen years since. She came towards her, but there was no invitation to give the caress that she yearned to bestow, and she leant against the bed, trembling, as she said, ' Lucy, my poor child, I am come that you may not throw away your last chance without knowing it. You do not realize what you are about. If you cast aside esteem and re- liance, how can you expect to retain the affection you sometimes seem to prize V ' If I am not trusted, what's the good of affection V 1 How can you expect trust when you go beyond the VOL. I. T 274 HOPES AND FEARS. bounds of discretion V said Honor, with voice scarcely steadied into her desired firmness. < I can, I do !' * Lucy, listen to me.' She gave way to her natural piteous, pleading tone : ' I verily believe that this is the very turn. Remember how often a moment has decided the fate of a life !' She saw the expression relax into some alarm, and continued : ' The Fulmorts do not say so, but I see by their manner that his final decision will be influenced by your present proceedings. You have trifled with him too long, and with his mind made up to the ministry, he cannot continue to think of one who persists in outraging decorum.' Those words were effort enough, and bad better have been unsaid. ' That is as people may think,' was all the answer. 1 As he thinks V 1 How do I know what he thinks ?' Heartsick at such mere fencing, Honor was silent at first, then said, ' I, for one, shall rate your good opinion by your endeavour to deserve it. Who can suppose that you value what you are willing to risk for an un- ladylike bet, or an unfeminine sporting expedition V ' You may tell him so,' said Lucilla, her voice qui- vering with passion. ' You think a look will bring him back, but you may find that a true man is no slave. Prove his affection misplaced, and he will tear it away.' Had Honoa-a been discreet as she was good, she would have left those words to settle down ; but, woman that she was, she knew not when to stop, and coaxingly coming to the small bundle of perverseness, she touched the shoulder, and said, ' Now you wont make an object of yourself to-night V The shoulder shook in the old fashion. 1 At least you will not go to Ireland.' ' Yes, I shall.' ' Miss Charlecote, I beg your pardon ' cried Hashe, bursting in — (oh ! that she had been five seconds HOPES AND FEABS. 275 earlier) — ' but dressing is imperative. People are be- ginning to come.' Honora retreated in utter discomfiture. ' Rashe ! Rashe ! I'm in for it !' cried Lucilla, as the door shut, springing up with a look of terror. 1 Proposed by deputy?' exclaimed Horatia, aghast. ' No, na !' gasped Lucilla ; ' it's this Ireland of yours — that — that ' and she well-nigh sobbed. ' My bonny bell ! I knew you would not be bullied into deserting.' ' Oh ! Kashe, she was very hard on me. Every one is but you !' and Lucilla threw herself into her cousin's arms in a paroxysm of feeling j but their maid's knock brought her back to composure sooner than poor Honora, who shed many a tear over this last defeat, as, looking mournfully to Phoebe, she said, ' I have done, Phoebe. I can say no more to her. She will not hear anything from me. Oh ! what have I done that my child should be hardened against me !' Phoebe could offer nothing but caresses full of in- dignant sorrow, and there was evidently soothing in them, for Miss Charlecote's tears became softer, and she fondly smoothed Phoebe's fair hair, saying, as she drew the clinging arms closer round her : ' My little wood- bine, you must twine round your brother and comfort him, but you can spare some sweetness for me too. There, I will dress. I will not keep you from the party.' ' I do not care for that ; only to see Robin.' 1 We must take our place in the crowd,' sighed Honora, beginning her toilet ; ' and you will enjoy it when you are there. Your first quadrille is promised to Owen, is it not ¥ 'Yes,' said Phcebe, dreamily, and she would have gone back to Robin's sorrows, but Honora had learnt that there were subjects to be set aside when it was incumbent on her to be presentable, and directed the talk to speculations whether the poor schoolmistress would have nerve to sing ; and somehow she talked t 2 276 HOPES AND FEAKS. up Phoebe's spirits to such a hopeful pitch, that the little maiden absolutely was crossed by a gleam of sa- tisfaction from the ungrateful recollection that poor Miss Charlecote had done with the affair. Against her will, she had detected the antagonism between the two, and bad as it was of Lucy, was certain that she was more likely to be amenable where there was no interference from her best friend. The music-room was already crowded when the two made their way into it, and Honora's inclination was to deposit herself on the nearest seat, but she owed something otherwise to her young charge, and Phoebe's eyes had already found a lonely black figure with arms crossed, and lowering brow. Simultaneously they moved towards him, and he towards them. 4 Is she come down V he asked. Phoebe shook her head, but at the same moment another door near the orchestra admitted a small white butterfly- figure, leading in a tall queenly apparition in black, whom she placed in a chair adjacent to the be- jewelled prima donna of the night — a great contrast with her dust-coloured German hair and complexion, and good-natured plain face. Robert's face cleared with relief ; he evidently de- tected nothing outre in Lucilla's aspect, and was re- joicing in the concession. Woman's eyes saw further ; a sigh from Honora, an amused murmur around him, caused him to bend his looks on Phoebe. She knew his eyes were interrogating her. but could not bear to let her own reply, and kept them on the ground. He was moving towards Lucilla, who, having consigned her protegee to the good-humoured German, had come more among the guests, and was exchanging greetings and answering comments with all her most brilliant airs of saucy animation. And who could quarrel with that fairy vision 1 Her rich double-skirted watered silk was bordered with exquisitely made and coloured flies, radiant with the hues of the peacock, the gold pheasant, the jay, HOPES AND FEARS. 277 parrots of all tints, everything rich and rare in plumage. A coronal of the same encircled her glossy hair, the tiny plumes contrasting with the blonde ring- lets, and the bond fide hooks ostentatiously displayed ; lesser and more innocuous flies edged the sleeves, cor- sage, shoes, and gloves ; and her fan, which she used as skilfully as Jenny Wren, presented a Watteau-like pic- ture of an angling scene. Anything more daintily, quaintly pretty could not be imagined, and the male part of the assembly would have unanimously con- curred in Sir Harry Buller's ' three cheers for the queen of the anglers.' But towards the party most concerned in her movements, Lucilla came not ; and Phoebe, under- standing a design to keep as near as might be to Miss Murrell, tried to suggest it as the cause, and looking round, saw Owen standing by Miss Charlecote, with somewhat of an uneasy countenance. ' Terribly hot here,' he said, restlessly ; ' suffocating, aren't you, Honor 1 Come and take a turn in the cloister ; the fountain is stunning by moonlight.' No proposal could have been more agreeable to Honora ; and Phoebe was afraid of losing her chape- ron, though she would rather have adhered to her brother, and the barbs of that wicked little angler were tearing him far too deeply to permit him to move out of sight of his tormentor. But for this, the change would have been delicious. The white lights and deep shadows from the calm, grave moon contrasted with the long gleams of lamp- light from every window, reddened by the curtains within ; the flowers shone out with a strange white- ness, the taller ones almost like spiritual shapes ; the burnished orange leaves glistened, the water rose high in silvery spray, and fell back into the blackness of the basin, made more visible by one trembling, shimmering reflection ; the dark blue sky above seemed shut into a vault by the enclosing buildings, and one solitary planet shone out in the lustrous neighbourhood of the 278 HOPES AND FEARS. moon. So still, so solemn, so cool ! Honora felt it as repose, and pensively began to admire — Owen chimed in with her. Feverish thoughts and perturbations were always gladly soothed away in her company. Phoebe alone stood barely confessing the beauty, and suppressing impatience at their making so much of it ; not yet knowing enough of care or passion to seek re- pose, and much more absorbed in human, than in any other form of nature. The music was her first hope of deliverance from her namesake in the sky ; but, behold, her companions chose to prefer hearing that grand instrumental piece softened by distance ; and even Madame Hedwig's quivering notes did not bring them in. However, at the first sounds of the accompaniment to the ' Three Fishers' Wives,' Owen pulled back the curtain, and handed the two ladies back into the room, by a window much nearer to the orchestra than that by which they had gone out, not far from where Edna Murrell had just risen, her hands nervously clasped together, her colour rapidly varying, and her eyes roaniiug about as though in quest of something. Indeed, through all the music, the slight sounds of the entrance at the window did not escape her, and at the instant when she should have begun to sing, Phoebe felt those black eyes levelled on herself with a look that startled her ; they were at once removed, the head turned away ; there was an attempt at the first words, but they died away on her lips ; there was a sudden whiteness, Lucilla and the German both tried to reseat her ; but with readier judgment Owen made two long steps, gathered her up in his strong arms, and bore her through the curtains and out at the open window like a mere infant. * Don't come, don't — it will only make more fuss — nobody has seen. Go to Madame Hedwig ; tell her from me to go on to her next, and cover her retreat,' said Lucilla, as fast as the words would come, signing back Honora, and hastily disappearing between the curtains. HOPES AND FEARS. 279 There was a command in Lucilla's gestures which always made obedience the first instinct even with Honora, and her impulse to assist thus counteracted, she had time to recollect that Lucy might be supposed to know best what to do with the schoolmistress, and that to dispose of her among her ladies' maid friends was doubtless the kindest measure. 1 1 must say I am glad,' she said ; ' the poor thing cannot be quite so much spoilt as they wished.' The concert proceeded, and in the next pause Honor fell into conversation with a pleasant lady who had brought one pair of young daughters in the morning, and now was doing the same duty by an elder pair. Phoebe was standing near the window when a touch on her arm and a whispered ' Help ! hush !' made her look round. Holding the curtain apart, so as to form the least possible aperture, and with one finger on her lip, was Lucy's face, the eyes brimming over with laughter, as she pointed to her head — three of the hooks had set their barbs deep into the crimson satin curtain, and held her a prisoner ! ' Hush ! I'll never forgive you if you betray me,' she whispered, drawing Phoebe by the arm behind the curtain ; ' I should expire on the spot to be found in Absalom's case. All that little goose's fault — I never reckoned on having to rush about this way. Can't you do it 1 Don't spare scissors,' and Lucilla produced a pair from under her skirt. ' Kashe and I always go provided.' ' How is she ? — where is she V asked Phoebe. ' That's exactly what I can't tell. He took her out to the fountain ; she was quite like a dead thing. Water wouldn't make her come to, and I ran for some salts ; I wouldn't call anybody, for it was too ro- mantic a condition to have Owen discovered in, with a fainting maiden in his arms. Such a rummage as I had. My own things are all jumbled up, I don't know how, and Rashe keeps nothing bigger than globules, only lit for fainting lady-birds, so I went to Lolly's, but her bottles have all gold heads, and are full of un- 280 HOPES AND FEARS. canny-looking compounds, and I made a raid at last on sweet Honey's rational old dressing-case, poked out her keys from her pocket, and got in ; wasting inter- minable time. Well, when I got back to my fainting damsel, non est inventus.'' ' Inventa,' murmured the spirit of Miss Fennimore within Phoebe. ' But what 1 had she got well ¥ 1 So I suppose. Gone off to the servants' rooms, no doubt ; as there is no White Lady in the fountain to spirit them both away. What, haven't you done that, yetf '0 ! Lucy, stand still, please, or you'll get another hook in.' 1 Give me the scissors ; I know I could do it quicker. Never mind the curtain, I say ; nobody will care.' She put up her hand, and shook head and feet to the entanglement of a third hook ; but Phcebe, decided damsel that she was, used her superior height to keep her mastery, held up the scissors, pressed the fidgety shoulder into quiescence, and kept her down while she extricated her, without fatal detriment to the satin, though with scanty thanks, for the liberation was no sooner accomplished than the sprite was off, throwing out a word about Bashe wanting her. Phcebe emerged to find that she had not been missed, and presently the concert was over, and tea coming round, there was a change of places. Robert came towards her. ' I am going,' he said. ' Oh ! Kobert, when dancing would be one chance V 1 She does not mean to give me that chance ; I would not ask it while she is in that dress. It is answer sufficient. Good night, Phoebe ; enjoy your- self.' Enjoy herself ! A fine injunction, when her brother was going away in such a mood ! Yet who would have suspected that rosy, honest apple face of any grievance, save that her partner was missing ? Honora was vexed and concerned at his neglect, but HOPES AND FEARS. 281 Phoebe appeased her by reporting what Lucy had said. ' Thoughtless ! reckless !' sighed Honora • ' if Lucy would leave the poor girl on his hands, of course he is obliged to make some arrangement for getting her home ! I never knew such people as they are here ! Well, Phoebe, you shall have a partner next time I' Phoebe had one, thanks chiefly to Rashe, and some- how the rapid motion shook her out of her troubles, and made her care much less for Robin's sorrows than she had done two minutes before. She was much more absorbed in hopes for another partner. Alas ! he did not come ; neither then nor for the ensuing. Owen's value began to rise. Miss Charlecote did not again bestir herself in the cause, partly from abstract hatred of waltzes, partly from the constant expectation of Owen's re-appear- ance, and latterly from being occupied in a discussion with the excellent mother upon young girls reading- novels. At last, after a galojype, at which Phoebe had looked on with wishful eyes, Lucilla dropped breathless into the chair which she relinquished to her. 1 Well, Phoebe, how do you like it V 1 Oh ! very much,' rather ruefully ; ' at least it would be if ' ' If you had any partners, eh, poor child 1 Hasn't Owen turned up V ' It's that billiard-room ; I tried to make Charlie shut it up. But we'll disinter him ; I'll rush in like a sky-rocket, and scatter the gentlemen to all quarters.' 'No, no, don't!' cried Phoebe, alarmed, and catching hold of her. ' It is not that, but Robin is gone.' 1 Atrocious,' returned Cilly, disconcerted, but re- solved that Phoebe should not perceive it ; 'so we are both under a severe infliction, — both ashamed of our brothers.' ' I am not ashamed of mine,' said Phoebe, in a tone of gravity. 282 HOPES AND FEARS. 1 Ah ! there's the truant,' said Ln cilia, turning aside. ' Owen, where have you hidden yourself? I hope you are ready to sink into the earth with shame at hearing you have rubbed off the bloom from a young lady's first ball.' 1 No ! it was not he who did so,' stoutly replied Phoebe. ' Ah ! it was all the consequence of the green and white ; I told you it was a sinister omen,' said Owen, chasing away a shade of perplexity from his brow, and assuming a certain air that Phoebe had never seen be- fore, and did not like. ' At least you will be merciful, and allow me to retrieve my character.' 1 You have nothing to retrieve,' said Phoebe, in the most straightforward manner ; ' it was very good in you to take care of poor Miss Murrell. What became of her ? Lucy said you would know.' 1 1 — I V he exclaimed, so vehemently as to startle her by the fear of having ignorantly committed some egregious blunder ; ' I'm the last person to know.' ( The last to be seen with the murdered always falls under suspicion,' said Lucilla. ' Drowned in the fountain V cried Owen, affecting horror. 1 Then you must have done it,' said his sister, ' for when I came back, after ransacking the house for salts, you had both disappeared. Have you been washing your hands all this time after the murder V ' Nothing can clear me but an appeal to the foun- tain,' said Owen ; t will you come and look in, Phoebe 1 It is more delicious than ever.' But Phoebe had had enough of the moonlight, did not relish the subject, and was not pleased with Owen's manner ; so she refused by a most decided ' No, thank you,' causing Lucy to laugh at her for thinking Owen dangerous. 1 At least you will vouchsafe to trust yourself with me for the Lancers,' said Owen, as Cilia's partner came to claim her, and Phoebe rejoiced in anything to change the tone of the conversation ; still, however, asking, as HOPES AND FEARS. 2 S3 he led her off, what had become of the poor school- mistress. 1 Gone home, very sensibly,' said Owen ; ' if she is wise she will know how to trust to Cilly's invitations ! People that do everything at once never do anything well. It is quite a rest to turn to any one like you, Phoebe, who are content with one thing at a time I I wish ' I Well then, let us dance,' said Phcebe, abruptly ; ( I can't do that well enough to talk, too.' It was not that Owen had not said the like things to her many times before ; it was his eagerness and fervour that gave her an uncomfortable feeling. She was not sure that he was not laughing at her by put- ting on these devoted airs, and she felt herself grown up enough to put an end to being treated as a child. He made her a profound bow in a mockery of acquies- cence, and preserved absolute silence during the first figures, but she caught his eye several times gazing on her with looks such as another might have interpreted into mingled regret and admiration, but which were to her simply discomfiting and disagreeable, and when he spoke again, it was not in banter, but half in sadness. 1 Phoebe, how do you like all this V I I think I could like it very much.' 1 1 am almost sorry to hear you say so ; anything that should tend to make you resemble others is detest- able.' ' I should be very sorry not to be like other people.' I Phoebe, you do not know how much of the pleasure of my life would be lost if you were to become a mere conventional young lady.' Phcebe had no notion of being the pleasure of any one's life except Robin's and Maria's, and was rather affronted that Owen should profess to enjoy her childish ignorance and naivete. I I believe,' she said, '1 was rude just now when I told you not to talk. I am sorry for it ; I shall know better next time.' * Your knowing better is exactly what I deprecate. 2S4 HOPES AND FEARS. But there it is ; unconsciousness is the charm of simpli- city. It is the very thing aimed at by Hashe and Cilly, and all their crew, with their eccentricities.' 1 1 am sorry for it,' seriously returned Phcebe, who had by this time, by quiet resistance, caused him to land her under the lee of Miss Charlecote, instead of promenading with her about the room. He wanted her to dance with him again, saying she owed it to him for having sacrificed the first to common humanity, but great as was the pleasure of a polka, she shrank from him in this complimentary mood, and declared she should dance no more that evening. He appealed to Honora, who, disliking to have her boy baulked of even a polka, asked Phcebe if she were very tired, and con- sidering her ' rather not' as equivalent to such a con- fession, proposed a retreat to their own room. Phcebe was sorry to leave the brilliant scene, and no longer to be able to watch Lucilla, but she wanted to shake Owen off, and readily consented. She shut her door after one good night. She was too much grieved and disappointed to converse, and could not bear to discuss whether the last hope were indeed gone, and whether Lucilla had decided her lot without choosing to know it. Alas ! how many turning points may be missed by those who never watch ! How little did Phcebe herself perceive the shoal past which her self-respect had just safely guided her ! ' I wonder if those were ball-room manners 1 What a pity if they were, for then I shall not like balls,' was all the thought that she had leisure to bestow on her own share in the night's diversions, as through the subsequent hours she dozed and dreamt, and mused and slept again, with the feverish limbs and cramp- tormented feet of one new to balls ; sometimes teased by entangling fishing flies, sometimes interminably de- tained in the moonlight, sometimes with Miss Fenni- more waiting for an exercise, and the words not to be found in the dictionary ; and even this unpleasant counterfeit of sleep deserting her after her usual time HOPES AND FEARS. 285 for waking, and leaving her to construct various fabrics of possibilities for Robin and Lucy. She was up in fair time, and had written a long and particular account to Bertha of everything in the festi- vities not recorded in this narrative, before Miss Oharlecote awoke from the compensating morning slum- ber that had succeeded a sad and unrestful night. Late as they were, they were down-stairs before any one but the well-seasoned Rashe, who sat beguiling the time with a Bradshaw, and who did not tell them how into- lerably cross Cilly had been all the morning. Nor would any one have suspected it who had seen her, last of all, come down at a quarter to eleven, in the most exultant spirits, talking the height of rodo- montade with the gentlemen guests, and dallying with her breakfast, while Phoebe's heart was throbbing at the sight of two grave figures, her brother and the curate, slowly marching up and down the cloister, in waiting till this was over. And there sat Lucilla inventing adventures for an imaginary tour to be brought out on her return by the name of ' Girls in Gal way' — ■' From the Soir6e to the Salmon' — ' Flirts and Foolsheads,' as Owen and Charles discontentedly muttered to each other, or, as Mr. Cal- thorp proposed, ' The Angels and the Anglers.' The ball was to be the opening chapter, Lord William en- treated for her costume as the frontispiece, and Mr. Calthorp begged her to re-assume it, and let her cousin photograph her on the spot. Lucilla objected to the impracticability of white silk, the inconvenience of unpacking the apparatus, the nuisance of dressing, the lack of time ; but Rashe was delighted with the idea, and made light of all, and the gentlemen pressed her strongly, till with rather more of a consent than a refusal, she rose from her nearly untasted breakfast, and began to move away. 1 Cilia,' said Mr. Prendergast, at the window, ; can I have a word with you V ' At your service,' she answered, as she came out to 286 HOPES AND FEARS. him, and saw that Robert had left him. ' Only be quick ; they want to photograph me in my ball-dress.' ' You wont let them do it, though,' said the curate. ' White comes out hideous,' said Lucilla ; c I suppose you would not have a copy, if I took one off for you V ' No ; I don't like those visitors of yours well enough to see you turned into a merry-andrew to please them.' ' So that's what Robert Fulmort told you I did last night,' said Lucilla, blushing at last, and thoroughly. 1 No, indeed ; you didn't V he said, regarding her with an astonished glance. ' 1 did wear a dress trimmed with salmon-flies, be- cause of a bet with Lord William,' said Lucilla, the suffusion deepening on brow, cheek, and throat, as the confiding esteem of her fatherly friend effected what nothing else could accomplish. She would have given the world to have justified his opinion of his late rector's little daughter, and her spirit seemed gone, though the worst he did was to shake his head at her. 1 If you did not know it, why did you call me that V she asked. 1 A merry-andrew V he answered ; ' I never meant that you had been one. No ; only an old friend like me doesn't like the notion of your going and dressing up in the morning to amuse a lot of scamps.' ' I wont,' said Lucilla, very low. 'Well, then,' began Mr. Prendergast, as in haste to proceed to his own subject ; but she cut him short. ' It is not about Ireland V ' No ; I know nothing about young ladies ; and if Mr. Charteris and your excellent friend there have nothing to say against it, I can't.' ' My excellent friend had so much to say against it, that I was pestered into vowing I would go ! Tell me not, Mr. Prendergast, — I should not mind giving up to you ;' and she looked full of hope. ' That would be beginning at the wrong end, Cilia ; you are not my charge.' HOPES AND FEARS. 2S7 ' You are my clergyman,' she said, pettishly. 1 You are not my parishioner,' he answered. 1 Pish !' she said ; ' when you know I want you to tell me.' ' Why, you say you have made the engagement.' 1 So what I said when she fretted me past endurance, must bind me !' Be it observed that, like all who only knew Hilton- bury through Lucilla, Mr. Prendergast attributed anv blemishes which he might detect in her to the injudi- cious training of an old maid ; so he sympathized. ' Ah ! ladies of a certain age never get on with youno- ones ! But I thought it was all settled before with Miss Charteris.' "' I never quite said I would go, only we got ready for the sake of the fun of talking of it, and now Bashe has grown horridly eager about it. She did not care at first — only to please me.' ' Then wouldn't it be using her ill to disappoint her, now? You couldn't do it, Cilia. Why, you have given your word, and she is quite old enough for any- thing. Wouldn't Miss Charlecote see it so V To regard Batia as a mature personage robbed the project of romance, and to find herself bound in honour by her inconsiderate rattle was one of the rude shocks which, often occur to the indiscriminate of tongue ; but the curate had too much on his mind to dwell on what concerned him more remotely, and proceeded, ' I came to see whether you could help me about poor Miss MurrelL You made no arrangement for her getting home last night V * No !' 'Ah, you young people! But it is my fault; T should have recollected young heads. Then I am afraid it must have been ' 'WhatT 1 She was seen on the river very late last night with a stranger. He went up to the school with her, re- mained about a quarter of an hour, and then rowed up 288 HOPES AND FEAKS. the river again. I am afraid it is not the first time she has been seen with him.' 'But, Mr. Prendergast, she was here till at least ten ! She fainted away just as she was to have sung, and we carried her out into the cloister. When she recovered she went away to the housekeeper's room — ' (a bold assertion, built on Owen's partially heard reply to Phoebe). ' I'll ask the maids.' ' It is of no use, Cilia j she allows it herself.' ' And pray,' cried Lucilla, rallying her sauciness, 1 how do you propose ever to have banns to publish, if young men and maidens are never to meet by water nor by land V ' Then you do know something V 1 No ; only that such matters are not commonly blazoned in the commencement.' ' I don't wish her to blazon it, but if she would only act openly by me,' said the distressed curate. * I wish nothing more than that she were safe married ; and then if you ladies appoint another beauty, I'll give up the place, and live at college.' 1 We'll advertise for the female Chimpanzee, and de- pend upon it she will marry at the end of six weeks. So you have attacked her in person. What did she say ¥ 1 Nothing that she could help. She stood with those great eyes cast down, looking like a statue, and some- times vouchsafing " yes, sir," or " no, sir." It was " no, sir," when I asked if her mother knew. I am afraid it must be something very unsatisfactory, Cilia ; but she might say more to you if you were not going away.' I Oh ! Mr. Prendergast, why did you not come sooner V I I did come an hour ago, but you were not come down.' 1 I'll walk on at once ; the carriage can pick me up. I'll fetch my hat. Poor Edna ! I'll soon make her satisfy your mind. Has any one surmised who it can beV HOPES AND FEARS. 289 ' The notion is that it is one of your musicians — very dangerous, I am afraid ; and I say, Cilia, did you ever do such a thing — you couldn't, I suppose — as lend her Shelley's poems V ' 1 ] No ; certainly not.' 1 There was a copy lying on the table in her little parlour, as if she had been writing something out from it. It is very odd, but it was in that peculiar olive- green morocco that some of the books in your father's library were bound in.' 1 Not mine, certainly,' said Lucilla. ' Good Honor Charlecote would have run crazy if she thought I had touched a Shelley ; a very odd study for Edna. But as to the olive-green, of course it was bound under the same star as ours.' 1 Cilly, Cilly, now or never ! photograph or not V screamed Bashe, from behind her three-legged camera. ' Not 1' was Lucilla's cavalier answer. ' Pack up ; have done with it, Bashe. Pick me up at the school.' Away she flew headlong, the patient and discon- certed Horatia following her to her room to extract hur- ried explanations, and worse than no answers as to the sundries to be packed at the last moment, while she hastily put on hat and mantle, and was flying down again, when her brother, with outspread arms, nearlv caught her in her spring. ' Hollo ! what's up V ' Don't stop me, Owen ! I'm going to walk on with Mr. Prendergast and be picked up. I must speak to Edna Murrell.' • Nonsense ! The carriage will be out in five minutes.' 'I must go, Owen. There's some story of a demon in human shape on the water with her last night, and Mr. Prendergast can't get a word out of her.' ' Is that any reason you should go ramping about, prying into people's affairs V ' But, Owen, they will send her away. They will take away her character.' 1 The — the — the more reason you should have no- VOL. I. U 290 HOPES AND FEARS. tiling to do with it,' he exclaimed. ' It is no business- for you, and I wont have you meddle in it.' Such a strong and sudden assumption of fraternal authority took away her breath; and then, in terror lest he should know cause for this detention, she said — I Owen ! you don't guess who it was V ' How should I V he roughly answered. ' Some vil- la nous slander, of course, there is, but it is no business of yours to be straking off to make it worse.' I I should not make it worse.' 'Women always make things worse. Are you satis- fied now? as the carriage was seen coming round. ' That is only to be packed.' 'Packed with folly, yes! Look here! 11.20, and the train at 12.5 !' ' I will miss the train, go up later, and sleep in London.' ' Stuff and nonsense ! Who is going to take you % Not I.' In Lucilla's desperation in the cause of her favourite Edna, she went through a rapid self-debate. Honor would gladly wait for her for such a cause ; she could sleep at Woolstone Lane, and thence go on to join Horatia in her visit in Derbyshire, escorted by a Hiltonbury servant. But what would that entail X She would be at their mercy. Robert would obtain his advantage — it would be all over with her ! Pride arose ; Edna's cause sank. How many destinies were fixed in the few seconds while she stood with one foot forward, spinning her black hat by the elastic band ! ' Too late, Mr. Prendergast ; I cannot go,' she said, as she saw him waiting for her at the door. ' Don't be angry with me, and don't let the womankind pre- judice you against poor Edna. You forgive me ! It is really too late.' ' Forgive you V smiled Mr. Prendergast, pressing her caressing hand in his great, lank grasp ; ' what for f ' Oh, because it is too late ; and I can't help it. But don't be hard with her. Good-bye.' HOPES AND FEARS. 291 Too late ! Why did Lucilla repeat those words so often 1 Was it a relief to that irreflective nature to believe the die irrevocably cast, and the responsibilitv of decision over ? Or why did she ask forgiveness of the only one whom she was not offending, but because there was a sense of need of pardon where she would not stoop to ask it. Miss Charlecote and the Fulmorts, Rashe and Cilly, were to be transported to London by the same train, leaving Owen behind to help Charles Charteris en- tertain some guests still remaining, Honora promising him to wait in town until Lucilla should absolutely have started for Ireland, when she would supply him with the means of pursuit. Lucilla's delay and change of mind made the final departure so late that it was needful to drive excessively fast, and the train was barely caught in time. The party were obliged to separate, and Robert took Phcebe into a different carriage from that where the other three found places. In the ten minutes' transit by railway, Lucy, always softened by parting, was like another being towards Honor, and talked eagerly of ' coming home ' for Christmas, sent messages to Hiltonbury friends, and did everything short of retractation to efface the painful impression she had left. 1 Sweetest Honey !' she whispered, as they moved on after the tickets had been taken, thrusting her pretty head over into Honor's place. 'Nobody's looking, give me a kiss, and say you don't bear malice, though your kitten has been in a scratching humour.' 1 Malice ! no, indeed !' said Honor, fondly ; ' but, oh ! remember, dear child, that frolics may be at too dear a price.' She longed to say more, but the final stop was made, and their roads diverged. Honor thought that Lucy looked white and trembling, with an uneasy eye, as though she would have given much to have been going home with her. u2 292 HOPES AND FEARS. Nor was the consoling fancy unfounded. Lucilla's nerves were not at their usual pitch, and an undefined sense of loss of a safeguard was coming over her. Moreover, the desire for a last word to Robert was growing every moment, and he would keep on hunting out those boxes, as if they mattered to anybody. She turned round on his substitute, and said, ' I've not spoken to Robin all this time. No wonder his feathers are ruffled. Make my peace with him, Phoebe dear.' On the very platform, in that moment of bustle, Phoebe conscientiously and reasonably began, 'Will you tell me how much you mean by that V 'Cilly — Kings-cross — i.i5>' cried Ratia, snatching at her arm. 1 Oh ! the slave one is ! Next time we meet, Phoebe, the redbreast will be in a white tie, I shall ' Hurry and agitation were making her flippant, and Robert was nearer than she deemed. He was assisting her to her seat, and then held out his hand, but never raised his eyes. ' Good-bye, Robin,' she said ; ' Reason herself shall meet you at the Holt at Christmas.' ' Good-bye,' he said, but without a word of augury, and loosed her hand. Her fingers clung one moment, but he drew his away, called ' King's-cross to the coachman, and she was whirled off. Angler as she was, she no longer felt her prey answer her pull. Had the line snapped 1 When Owen next appeared in Woolstone Lane he looked fagged and harassed, but talked of all things in sky, earth, or air, politics, literature, or gossip, took the bottom of the table, and treated the Parsonses as his guests. Honora, however, felt that something was amiss ; perhaps Lucilla engaged to Lord William \ and when, after luncheon, he followed her to the cedar room, she began with a desponding ' Well V 1 Well, she is off !' 1 Alone with Rashe V HOPES AXD FEARS. 293 'Alone with Raslie. Why, sweet Honey, you look gratified !' * I had begun to fear some fresh news,' said Honor, smiling with effort. ' I am sure that something is wrong. You do not look well, my dear. How flushed you are, and your forehead is so hot !' as she put her hand on his brow. I Oh, nothing !' he said, caressingly, holding it there. ' I'm glad to have got away from the Castle ; Charlie and his set drink an intolerable lot of wine. I'll not be there again in a hurry.' I I am glad of that. I wish you had come away with us.' ' I wish to heaven I had !' cried Owen ; \ but it could not be helped! So now for my wild goose chase. Cross to-morrow night ; only you were good enough to say you would find ways and means.' ' There, that is what I intended, including your Midsummer quarter. Don't you think it enough ¥ as she detected a look of dissatisfaction. ' You are very good. It is a tremendous shame ; but you see, Honor dear, when one is across the water, one may as well go the whole animal. If this wise sister of mine does not get into a mess, there is a good deal I could do — plenty of sport. Little Henniker and some Westminster fellows in the — th are at Kilkenny.' ' You would like to spend the vacation in Ireland,' said Honor, with some disappointment. ' Well, if you go for my pleasure, it is but fair you should have your own. Shall I advance your September allowance V ' Thank you. You do spoil one abominably, you concoction of honey and all things sweet. But the fact is, I've got uncommonly hard-up of late ; no one would believe how ruinous it is being with the Charterises. I believe money evaporates in the atmo- sphere.' 1 Betting V asked Honor, gasping and aghast. 'On my honour, I assure you not there,' cried Owen, 294 HOPES AND FEARS. eagerly. * I never did bet there but once, and that was Lolly's doing ; and I could not get out of it. Jew that she is ! I wonder what Uncle Kit would say to that house now.' ' You are out of it, and I shall not regret the pur- chase of your disgust at their ways, Owen. It may be better for you to be in Ireland than to be tempted to go to them for the shooting season. How much do you want % You know, my dear, if there be anything else, I had rather pay anything that is right than have you in debt.' * You were always the sweetest, best Honey living !' cried Owen, with much agitation ; ' and it is a shame ' but there he stopped, and ended in a more ordinary tone — ' shame to prey on you, as we both do, and with no better return.' ' Never mind, dear Owen,' she said, with moisture in her eye ; ' your real happiness is the only return I want. Come, tell me your difficulty ; most likely I can help you.' * I've nothing to tell,' said Owen, with alarmed im- petuosity ; ' only that I'm a fool, like every one else, and — and — if you would only double that ' ' Double that ! Owen, things cannot be right.' 7 © O * I told you they were not right,' was the impatient answer, 'or I should not be vexing you and myself; and,' as though to smooth away his rough commence- ment, ' what a comfort to have a Honey that will have patience !' She shook her head, perplexed. ' Owen, I wish you could tell me more. I do not like debts. You know, dear boy, I grudge nothing I can do for you in my lifetime ; but for your own sake, you must learn not to spend more than you will be able to afford. In- dulgence now will be a penance to you by and by.' Honora dreaded overdoing lectures to Owen. She knew that an old maid's advice to a young man was dangerous work, and her boy's submissive patience always excited her gratitude and forbearance, so she HOPES AND FEARS. 295 desisted, in hopes of a confession, looking at him with such tenderness that he was moved to exclaim — 1 Honor dear, you are the best and worst-used woman on earth ! Would to Heaven that we had requited you better !' ' I have no cause of complaint against you, Owen,' she said, fondly j * you have always been the joy and comfort of my heart ;' and as he turned aside, as though stricken by the words, ■ whatever you may have to reproach yourself with, it is not with hurting me ; I only wish to remind you of higher and more stringent duties than those to myself. If you have erred, as T cannot but fear, will you not let me try and smooth the way back V ' Impossible,' murmured Owen; 'there are things that can never be undone.' 1 Not undone, but repented,' said Honor, convinced that he had been led astray by his cousin Charles, and felt bound not to expose him ; ' so repented as to be- come stepping-stones in our progress.' He only shook his head with a groan. 1 The more sorrow, the better hope,' she began ; but the impatient movement of his foot warned her that she was only torturing him, and she proceeded, — ' Well, I trust you implicitly ; I can understand that there may be confidences that ought not to pass between us, and will give you what you require to help you out of your difficulty. I wish you had a father, or any one who could be of more use to you, my poor boy !' and she began to fill up the cheque to the utmost of his demand. 1 It is too much — too much,' cried Owen. ■ Honor, I must tell you at all costs. What will you think when ' ' I do not wish to purchase a confession, Owen,' she said ; ' you know best whether it be a fit one to make to me, or whether for the sake of others you ought to withhold it.' He was checked, and did not answer. 296 HOPES AND FEARS. * I see how it is,' continued PI on or ; ' my boy, as far as I am concerned, I look on your confession as made. You will be much alone while thus hovering near your sister among the mountains and by the streams. Let it be a time of reflection, and of making your peace with Another. You may do so the more earnestly for not having cast off the burthen on me. You are no child now, to whom your poor Honey's pardon almost seems an absolution. I sometimes think we went on with that too long.' ' No fear of my ever being a boy again,' said Owen, heavily, as he put the draft into his purse, and then bent his tall person to kiss her with the caressing fondness of his childhood, almost compensating for what his sister caused her to undergo. Then, at the door, he turned to say, * Remember, you would not hear.' He was gone, having left a thorn with Honor, in the doubt whether she ought not to have accepted his confidence ; but her abstinence had been such a mortification both of curiosity and of hostility to the Charterises that she could not but com- mend herself for it. She had strong faith in the effi- cacy of trust upon an honourable mind, and though it was evident that Owen had, in his own eyes, greatly transgressed, she reserved the hoj)e that his error was magnified by his own consciousness, and admired the generosity that refused to betray another. She be- lieved his present suffering to be the beginning of that growth in true religion which is often founded on some shock leading to self-distrust. Alas ! how many falls have been counted by mothers as the preludes to rising again, like the clearing showers of a stormy day. CHAPTER VIII. Fearless she had tracked his feet To this rocky, wild retreat, And when morning met his view, Her mild glances met it too. Ah ! your saints have cruel hearts, Sternly from his bed he starts, And with rude, repulsive shock, Hurls her from the beetling rock. — T. Mooee. HE deed was done. Conventionalities were defied, vaunts fulfilled, and Lucilla sat on a camp-stool on the deck of the steamer, watching the Welsh mountains rise, grow dim, and vanish gradually. Horatia, in common with all the rest of the woman- kind, was prostrate on the cabin floor, treating Cilly's smiles and roses as aggravations of her misery. Had there been a sharer in her exultation, the gay pitching and dancing of the steamer would have been charming to Lucy, but when she retreated from the scene of wretchedness below, she felt herself lonely, and was conscious of some surprise among the surviving gentlemen at her re-appearance. She took out a book as a protection, and read more continuously than she had done since Vanity Fair had come to the Holt, and she had been pleased to mark Honora's annoyance at every page she turned. But July light faded, and only left her the poor 298 HOPES AND FEARS. amusement of looking over the side for the phospho- rescence of the water, and watching the smoke of the funnel lose itself overhead. The silent stars and sparkling waves would have set Phoebe's dutiful science on the alert, or transported Honor's inward ear by the chant of creation, but to her they were of moderate interest, and her imagination fell a prey to the memory of the eyes averted, and hand withdrawn. Til be exemplary when this is over,' said she to herself, and at length her head nodded till she dropped into a giddy doze, whence with a chilly start she awoke, as the monotonous jog and bounce of the steamer were exchanged for a snort of arrival, among mysterious lanes of sparkling lights apparently rising from the waters. She had slept just long enough to lose the lovely entrance of Dublin Bay, stiffen her limbs, and confuse her brains, and she stood still as the stream of passengers began to rush trampling by her, feeling bewildered and forlorn. Her cousin's voice was welcome, though over-loud and somewhat piteous. * Where are you, stewardess? where's the young lady 1 Oh ! Cilly, there you are. To leave me alone all this time, and here's the stewardess saying we must go ashore at once, or lose the train. Oh ! the luggage, and I've lost my plaid,' and ghastly in the lamplight, limp and tottering, Rashe Charteris clasped her arm for support, and made her feel doubly savage and bewildered. Her first movement was to enjoin silence, then to gaze about for the goods. A gentle- man took pity on the two ladies, and told them not to be deluded into trying to catch the train ; there would be another in an hour's time, and if they had any one to meet them, they would most easily be found where they were. ' We have no one — we are alone,' said Lucilla ; and his chivalry was so far awakened that he handed them to the pier, and undertook to find their boxes. Rashe was absolutely subdued, and hung shivering HOPES AND FEARS. 299 and helpless on her cousin, who felt as though dream- ing in the strange scene of darkness made visible by the bright circles round the lamps, across which rapidly flitted the cloaked forms of travellers presiding over queer, wild, caricature-like shapes, each bending low under the weight of trunk or bag, in a procession like a magic lantern, save for the Babel of shrieks, cries, and expostulations everywhere in light or gloom. A bell rang, an engine roared and rattled off. ' The train!' sighed Horatia ; 'we shall have to stay here all night.' ' Nonsense,' said Lucy, ready to shake her ; ' there is another in an hour. Stay quiet, do, or he will never find us.' 1 Porter, ma'am — porrterr ' * No, no, thank you,' cried Lucilla, darting on her rod-case and carriage-bag to rescue them from a freckled countenance, with claws attached. ' We shall lose everything, Cilia ; that's your trusting to a stranger !' 'All right; thank you!' as she recognised her possessions, borne on various backs towards the station, whither the traveller escorted them, and where things looked more civilized. Ratia began to resume her senses, though weak and hungry. She was sorely discomfited at having to wait, and could not, like the seasoned voyagers, settle herself to repose on the long leathern couches of the waiting-room, but wan- dered, wobegone and impatient, scolding her cousin for choosing such an hour for their passage, for her de- sertion and general bad management. The merry, good- natured Rashe had disappeared in the sea-sick, cross, and weary wight, whose sole solace was grumbling, but her dolefulness only made Lucilla more mirthful. Here they were, and happen what would, it should only be ' such fun.' Recovered from the moment's bewilderment, Lucy announced that she felt as if she were at a ball, and whispered a proposal of astonish- ing the natives by a polka in the great empty boarded 300 HOPES AND FEARS. space. 'The suggestion would immortalize us ; come !' And she threatened mischievously to seize the waist of the still giddy and aching-headed Horatia, who repulsed her with sufficient roughness and alarm to set her off laughing at having been supposed to be in earnest. The hurry of the train came at last ; they hastened down-stairs and found the train awaiting them, were told their luggage was safe, and after sitting till they were tired, shot onwards watching the beautiful glimpses of the lights in the ships off Kingstown. They would gladly have gone on all night without another disembarkation and scramble, but the Dublin station came only too soon ; they were disgorged, and hastened after goods. Forth came trunk and port- manteau. Alas ! none of theirs ! Nothing with them but two carriage-bags and two rod-cases ! 1 It seems to be a common predicament/ said Lucilla j ' here are at least half-a-dozen in the same case.' ' Horrible management. We shall never see it more.' ' Nay, take comfort in the general lot. It will turn up to-morrow ; and meantime sleep is not packed up in our boxes. Come, let's be off. What noises ! How do these drivers keep from running over one another. Each seems ready to whip every one's beast but his own. Don't you feel yourself in Ireland, Kashe 1 Arrah ! I shall begin to scream, too, if I stand here much longer.' 'We can't go in that thing — a fly !' 'Don't exist here, Eashe — vermin is unknown. Submit to your fate ' and ere another objection could be uttered, Cilly threw bags and rods into an inside car, and pushed her cousin after them, chatter- ing all the time, to poor Horatia's distraction. ' Oh ! delicious ! A cross between a baker's cart and a Van Amburg. A little more, and it would overbalance and carry the horse head over heels! Take care, HOPES AND FEARS. 301 Rashe ; you'll pound me into dust if you slip down over me.' ' I can't help it ! Oh ! the vilest thing in creation.' ' Such fun ! To be taken when well shaken. Here we go up, up, up ; and here we go down, down, down 1 Ha! ware fishing-rod ! This is what it is to travel. No one ever described the experiences of an inside car !' 'Because no one in their senses would undergo such misery !' I But you don't regard the beauties, Rashe, beauties of nature and art combined — see the lights reflected in the river — what a width. Oh ! why don't they treat the Thames as they do the Liffey 1 ' I I can't see, I shall soon be dead ! and getting to an inn without luggage, it's not respectable.' 1 If you depart this life on the way, the want of luggage will concern me the most, my dear. Depend on it, other people have driven up in inside cars, minus luggage, in the memory of man, in this City of Dublin. Are you such a worldling base as to depend for your respectability on a paltry leathern trunk?' Lucilla's confidence did not appear misplaced, for neither waiters nor chambermaids seemed surprised, but assured them that people usually missed their luggage by that train, and asseverated that it would appear next morning. Lucilla awoke determined to be full of frolic and enjoyment, and Horatia, refreshed by her night's rest, was more easily able to detect 'such fun' than on the previous night; so the two cousins sat down amicably to breakfast on the Sunday morning, and inquired about church-services. * My mallard's tail hat is odd " go to meeting" head-gear,' said Cilia, ' but one cannot lapse into heathenism ; so where, Rashe V 'Wouldn't it be fun to look into a Roman Catholic affair?' 302 HOPES AND FEARS. * No,' said Cilly, decidedly ; ' where I go it shall be the genuine article. I don't like curiosities in religion.' * It's a curiosity to go to church at twelve o'clock I If you are so orthodox, let us wait for St. Patrick's this afternoon.' 'And in the mean time? It is but eleven this minute, and St. Patrick's is not till three. There's nothing to be done but to watch Irish nature in the street. Oh ! I never before knew the perfection of Carleton's illustration. See that woman and her cap, and the man's round eyebrows and projecting lips with shillelagh written on them. Would it be Sab- bath-breaking to perpetrate a sketch ? ' But as Katia was advancing to the window, Lucy suddenly started back, seized her and whirled her away, crying, ' The wretch ! I know him now ! I could not make him out last night.' 'Who?' exclaimed Rashe, starting determinedly to the window, but detained by the two small but resolute hands clasped round her waist. ' That black-whiskered valet of Mr. Calthorp's. If that man has the insolence to dog me and spy me, I'll not stay in Ireland another day.' ' what fun !' burst out Horatia. ' It becomes romantic !' ' Atrocious impertinence I' said Lucilla, passion- ately. ' Why do you stand there laughing V 'At you, my dear,' gasped Ratia, sinking on the sofa in her spasm of mirth. 'At your reception of chivalrous devotion.' ' Pretty chivalry to come and spy and beset ladies alone.' ' He has not beset us yet. Don't natter yourself !' ' What do you mean by that, Horatia ? ' 'Do you want to try your pistols on me? The waiter could show us the way to the Fifteen Acres, only you see it is Sunday.' ' I want,' said Lucy, all tragedy and no comedy, HOPES AND FEARS. 303 1 to know why you talk of my flattering myself that I am insulted, and my plans upset.' 'Why 1 ?' said Rashe, a little sneeringly. ' Why, a little professed beauty like you would be so disap- pointed not to be pursued, that she is obliged to be always seeing phantoms that give her no peace.' ' Thank you,' coolly returned Cilly. ' Very well, I'll say no more about it, but if I find that man to be in Ireland, the same day I go home !' Horatia gave a long, loud, provoking laugh. Lucilla felt it was for her dignity to let the subject drop, and betook herself to the only volumes attainable, Brad- shaw and her book of flies; while Miss Charteris repaired to the window to investigate for herself the question of the pursuer, and made enlivening remarks on the two congregations, the one returning from mass, the other going to church, but these were not appre- ciated. It seemed as though the young ladies had but one set of spirits between them, which were gained by the one as soon as lost by the other. It was rather a dull day. Fast as they were, the two girls shrank from rambling alone in streets thronged with figures that they associated with ruffianly destitution. Sunday had brought all to light, and the large handsome streets were beset with barefooted children, elf-locked women, and loung- ing, beetle-browed men, such as Lucy had only seen in the purlieus of Whittingtonia, in alleys looked into, but never entered by the civilized. In reality 1 rich and rare' was so true that they might have walked there more secure from insult, than in many better regulated regions, but it was difficult to believe so, especially in attire then so novel as to be very remarkable, and the absence of protection lost its charm when there was no one to admire the bravado. She did her best to embalm it for future apprecia- tion by journalizing, making the voyage out a far better joke than she had found it. and describing the inside car in the true style of the facetious traveller. 304 HOPES AND FEARS. Nothing so drives away fun, as the desire to be funny, and she began to grow weary of her work, aud dis- gusted at her own lumbering attempts at pen-and- ink mirth ; but they sufficed to make Rashe laugh, they would be quite good enough for Lord William, would grievously annoy Honora Charlecote, would be mentioned in all the periodicals, and give them the name of the Angel Anglers all the next season. Was not that enough to go to Ireland and write a witty tour for 1 The outside car took them to St. Patrick's, and they had their first real enjoyment in the lazy liveliness of the vehicle, and the droll ciceroneship of the driver, who contrived to convey such compli- ments to their pretty faces, as only an Irishman could have given without offence. Lucilla sprang down with exhilarated spirits, and even wished for Honor to share her indignation at the slovenliness around the cathedral, and the absence of close or cloister ; nay, though she had taken an aversion to Strafford as a hero of Honor's, she forgave him, and resolved to belabour the House of Cork handsomely in her journal, when she beheld the six-storied monument, and imagined it, as he had found it, in the Altar's very place. ' Would that he had created an absolute Boy lean vacuum !' What a grand bon mot for her journal ! However, either the spirit of indignation at the sight of the unkneeling congregation, or else the familiar w T ords of the beautiful musical service, made her more than usually devout, and stirred up some- thing within her that could only be appeased by the resolution that the singing in Robert Fulmort's parish should be super-excellent. After the service, the carman persuaded them to drive in the Phoenix Park, where they enjoyed the beautiful broken ground, the picturesque thickets, the grass whose colour reminded them that they were in the Emerald Isle, the purple outlines of the Wicklow hills, whence they thought HOPES AND FEARS. 305 they detected a fresh mountain breeze. They only wondered to find this delightful place so little frequented. In England, a Sunday would have filled it with holiday strollers, whereas here, they only encountered a very few, and those chiefly gentlefolks. The populace preferred sitting on the doorsteps, or lounging against the houses, as if they were making studies of themselves for caricatures ; and were evi- dently so much struck with the young ladies' attire, that the shelter of the hotel was gladly welcomed. Lucilla was alone in the sitting-room when the waiter came to lay the cloth. He looked round, as if to secure secresy, and then remarked in a low confidential voice, ' There's been a gentleman inquir- ing for you, ma'am.' ' Who was it V said Lucy, with feigned coolness. * It was when you were at church, ma'am ; he wished to know whether two ladies had arrived here, Miss Charteris and Miss Sandbrook.' ' Did he leave his card V 'He did not, ma'am,'his call was to be a secret; he said it was only to be sure whether you had arrived.' ' Then, he did not give his name V ' He did, ma'am, for he desired to be let know what route the young ladies took when they left,' quoth the man, with a comical look, as though he were imparting a most delightful secret. 'Was he Mr. CalthorpT ' I said I'd not mention his name,' said the waiter, with, however, such decided assent, that, as at the same moment he quitted the room and Horatia entered it, Cilly exclaimed, ' There, Eashe, what do you say now to the phantom of my vanity ? Here has he been asking for us, and what route we meant taking.' 'He! Who?' 'Who? — why, who should it be? The waiter has just told me.' VOL. i. x 306 HOPES AND FEARS. * You absurd girl ! ' * Well, ask him yourself.' So when the waiter came up, Miss Charteris de- manded, ' Has Mr. Cal thorp been calling here?' * What was the name, ma'am, if you please ?' 'Calthorp. Has Mr. Calthorp been calling here?' * Cawthorne 1 Was it Colonel Cawthorne, of the Royal Hussars, ma'am 1 He was here yesterday, but not to-day.' 'I said Calthorp. Has a Mr. Calthorp been in- quiring for us to-day 1 ' 1 1 have not heard, ma'am, I'll inquire,' said he, looking alert, and again disappearing, while Horatia looked as proud of herself as Cilly had done just before. He came back again, while Lucilla was repeating his communication, and assured Miss Charteris that no such person had called. < Then, what gentleman has been here, making inquiries about us V ' Gentleman ! Indeed, ma'am, I don't understand your meaning.' ' Have you not been telling this young lady that a gentleman has been asking after us, and desiring to be informed what route we intended to take V 'Ah, sure !' said the waiter, as if recollecting him- self, ' I did mention it. Some gentleman did just ask me in a careless sort of way who the two beauti- ful young ladies might be, and where they were going. Such young ladies always create a sensation, as you must be aware, ma'am, and I own I did speak of it to the young lady, because I thought she had seen the attraction of the gentleman's eyes.' So perfectly assured did he look, that Lucilla felt a moment's doubt whether her memory served her as to his former words, but just as she raised her eyes and opened her lips in refutation, she met a glance from him full of ludicrous reassurance, evidently meaning that he was guarding his own secret and hers. He HOPES AND FEARS. 307 was gone the next moment, and Horatia turned upon her, with exultant merriment. f I always heard that Ireland was a mendacious country,' said Cilly. ! And a country where people lose the sight of their «yes and ears,' laughed Rashe. '0 what a foundation for the second act of the drama !' 1 Of which the third will be my going home by the next steamer.' ' Because a stranger asked who we were V Each had her own interpretation of the double- faced waiter's assertion, and it served them to dispute upon all the evening. Lucilla was persuaded that he imagined her an injured beauty, reft from her faithful adorer by her stern aunt or duenna, and that he considered himself to be doing her a kindness by keeping her informed of her hero's vicinity, while he denied it to her com- panion ; but she scorned to enter into an explanation, or make any disavowal, and found the few displeased words she spoke were received with compassion, as at the dictation of the stern monitress. Horatia, on the other hand, could not easily resign the comical version that Lucilla's inordinate opinion of her own attractions had made her imagine Mr. Calthorp's valet in the street, and discover his master in the chance inquirer whom the waiter had mentioned ; and as Cilly could not aver that the man had actually told her in so many words that it was Mr. Calthorp, Horatia had a right to her opinion, and though she knew she had been a young lady a good many years, she could not easily adopt the suggestion that she could pass for Cilly's cruel duenna. Lucilla grew sullen, and talked of going home by the next steamer ; Rashe, far from ready for another sea voyage, called herself ill used, and represented the absurdity of returning on a false alarm. Cilia was staggered, and thought what it would be, if Mr. Calthorp, smoking his cigar at his club, heard that she x 2 308 HOPES AND YEARS. had fled from his imaginary pursuit. Besides, the luggage must be recovered, so she let Horatia go on arranging for an excursion for the Monday, only observing that it must not be in Dublin. 'No, bonnets are needful there. What do you think of Howth and Ireland's Eye, the place where Kirwan murdered his wife 1 ' said Rashe, with great gusto, for she had a strong turn for the horrid murders in the newspaper. ' Too near, and too smart,' sulked Lucy. ' Well, then, Glendalough, that is wild, and far off enough, and may be done in a day from Dublin. I'll ring and find out.' ' Not from that man.' 1 Oh ! we shall see Calthorps peopling the hill-sides ! Well, let us have the landlord.' It was found that both the Devil's Glen and the Seven Churches might be visited if they started by the seven o'clock train, and returned late at night, and Lucilla agreeing, the evening went off as best it might, the cousins being glad to get out of each other's com- pany at nine, that they might be up early the next morning. Lucy had not liked Ratia so little since the days of her infantine tyranny. The morning, however, raised their spirits, and sent them off in a more friendly humour, enjoying the bustle and excitement, that was meat and drink to them, and exclaiming at the exquisite views of sea and rugged coast along beautiful Kilmeny bay. When they left the train, they were delighted with their outside car, and reclined on their opposite sides in enchantment with the fern-bordered lanes, winding between noble trees, between which came inviting glimpses of exquisitely green meadows and hill sides. They stopped at a park-looking gate, leading to the Devil's Glen, which they were to traverse on foot, meeting the car at the other end. Here there was just enough life and adventure to charm them, as they gaily trod the path, winding pic- turesquely beside the dashing, dancing, foaming stream, HOPES AND FEARS. 309 now between bare salient bluffs of dark rock, now between glades of verdant thicket, or bold shouldering slopes of purple heath, and soft bent grass. They were constantly crying out with delight, as they bounded from one point of view to another, sometimes climbing among loose stones, leading between ferns and hazel stems to a well planted hermitage, sometimes springing across the streamlet upon stepping-stones. At the end of the wood another lodge gate brought them beyond the private grounds, that showed care, even in their rusticity, and they came out on the open hill-side in true mountain air, soft turf beneath their feet, the stream rushing away at the bottom of the slope, and the view closed in with blue mountains, on which the clouds marked purple shadows. This was freedom ! this was enjoyment ! this was worth the journey ! and Cilia's elastic feet sprang along as if she had been a young kid. How much was delight in the scenery, how much in the scramble, need not be analyzed. There was plenty of scrambling before it was over. A woman who had been lying in wait for tourists at the gate, guided them to the bend of the glen, where they were to climb up to pay their respects to the waterfall. The ascent was not far from perpendicular, only rendered accessible by the slope of fallen debris at the base, and a few steps cut out from one projecting rock to another, up to a narrow shelf, whence the cas- cade was to be looked down on. The more adven- turous spirits went on to a rock overhanging the fall, and with a curious chink or cranny, forming a window with a seat, and called King O'Toole's chair. Each girl perched herself there, and was complimented on her strong head and active limbs, and all their powers were needed in the long breathless pull up craggy stepping-stones, then over steep slippery turf ere they gained the summit of the bank. Spent, though still gasping out, ' such fun !' they threw themselves on their backs upon the thymy grass, and lay still for several seconds ere they sat up to look back at the thickly wooded ravine, winding crevice-like in and 310 HOPES AND FEARS. out between the overlapping skirts of the hills, whose rugged heads cut off the horizon. Then merrily sharing the first instalment of luncheon with their barefooted guide, they turned their faces onwards, where all their way seemed one bare gray moor, rising far off into the outline of Luggela, a peak overhanging the semblance of a crater. Nothing afforded them much more mirth than a rude bridge, consisting of a single row of square- headed unconnected posts along the heads of which Cilia three times hopped backwards and forwards for the mere drollery of the thing, with vigour unabated by the long walk over the dreary moorland fields with their stone walls. By the side of the guide's cabin the car awaited them, and mile after mile they drove on through tree- less wastes, the few houses with their thatch anchored down by stones, showing what winds must sweep along those unsheltered tracts. The desolate solitude began to weary the volatile pair into silence ; ere the moun- tains rose closer to them, they crossed a bridge over a stony stream begirt with meadows, and following its course came into sight of their goal. Here was Glendalough, a cul cle sac between the mountains, that shelved down, enclosing it on all sides save the entrance, through which the river issued. Their summits were bare, of the gray stone that lay in fragments everywhere, but their sides were clothed with the lovely Irish green pastureland, intermixed with brushwood and trees, and a beauteous meadow surrounded the white ring-like beach of pure white sand and pebbles bordering the outer lake, whose gray waters sparkled in the sun. Its twin lake, divided from it by so narrow a belt of ground, that the white beaches lay on their green setting, like the outline of a figure of 8, had a more wild and gloomy aspect, lying deeper w T ithin the hollow, and the hills coming sheer down on it at the further end in all their gray- ness unsoftened by any verdure. The gray was that HOPES AXD FEARS. 311 of absolute black and white intermingled in the grain of the stone, and this was peculiarly gloomy, but in the summer sunshine it served but to set off the brilliance of the verdure, and the whole air of the valley was so bright, that Cilly declared that it had been traduced, and that no skylark of sense need object thereto. Losing sight of the lakes as they entered the shabby little town, they sprang off the car before a small inn, and ere their feet were on the ground were appro- priated by one of a shoal of guides, in dress and speech an ultra Irishman, exaggerating his part as a sort of buffoon for the travellers. Rashe was diverted by his humours, Cilia thought them in bad taste, and would fain have escaped from his brogue and his antics, with some perception that the scene ought to be left to make its impression in peace. Small peace, however, was there among the scores of men, women, and children, within the rude walls containing the most noted relics ; all beset the visitors with offers of stockings, lace, or stones from the hills ; and the chatter of the guide was a lesser nuisance for which she was forced to compound for the sake of his protection. When he had cleared away his compa- triots, she was able to see the remains of two of the Seven Churches, the Cathedral, and St. Kevin's Kitchen, both of enduring gray stone, covered with yellow lichen, which gave a remarkable golden tint to their extreme old age. Architecture there was next to none. St. Kevin's so-called kitchen had a cylindrical tower, crowned by an extinguisher, and within the roofless walls was a flat stone, once the altar, and still a station for pilgrims ; and the cathedral contained two broken coffin-lids with floriated crosses, but it was merely four rude roofless walls, enclosing less space than a cottage kitchen, and less ornamental than many a barn. The whole space was encumbered with re- gular modern headstones, ugly as the worst that Eng- lish graveyards could show, and alternating between the names of Byrne and O'Toole, families who, as the 312 HOPES AND FEARS. guide said, would come 'hundreds of miles to lie there.' It was a grand thought, that those two lines, in wealth or in poverty, had been constant to that one wild mountain burying-place, in splendour or in ruin, for more than twelve centuries. Here, some steps from the cathedral on the top of the slope, was the chief grandeur of the view. A noble old carved granite cross, eight or ten feet high, stood upon the brow, bending slightly to one side, and beyond lay the valley cherishing its treasure of the twin lakelets, girt in by the band across them, nestled in the soft lining of copsewood and meadow, and pro- tected by the lofty massive hills above. In front, but below, and somewhat to the right, lay another enclo- sure, containing the ivied gable of St. Mary's Church, and the tall column-like Hound Tower, both with the same peculiar golden hoariness. The sight struck Lucilla with admiration and wonder, but the next moment she heard the guide exhorting Rashe to em- brace the stem of the cross, telling her that if she could clasp her arms round it, she would be sure of a handsome and rich husband within the year. Half superstitious, and always eager for fun, Horatia spread her arms in the endeavour, but her hands could not have met without the aid of the guide, who dragged them together, and celebrated the exploit with a hurrah of congratulation, while she laughed trium- phantly, and called on her companion to try her luck. But Lucy was disgusted, and bluntly refused, knowing her grasp to be far too small, unable to endure the touch of the guide, and maybe shrinking from the failure of the augury. ' Ah ! to be shure, an' it's not such a purty young lady as yourself that need be taking the trouble,' did not fall pleasantly on her ears, and still less Ratia's laugh and exclamation, ' You make too sure, do you ? Have a care. There were black looks at parting ! But you need not be afraid, if handsome be a part of the spell.' HOPES AND FEARS. 313 There was no answer, and Horatia saw that the out- spoken raillery that Cilly had once courted now gave offence. She guessed that something was amiss, but did not know that what had once been secure had been wilfully imperilled, and that suspense was awakening new feelings of delicac}^ and tenderness. The light words and vulgar forecasting had, in spite of herself, transported Lucilla from the rocky thicket where she was walking, even to the cedar room at Woolstone Lane, and conjured up before her that grave, massive brow, and the eye that would not meet her. She had hurried to these wilds to escape that influence, and it was holding her tighter than ever. To hasten home on account of Mr. Calthorp's pursuit would be the most effectual vindication of the feminine dignity that she might have impaired in Robert's eyes, but to do this on what Ratia insisted on believing a false alarm would be the height of absurdity. She was determined on extracting proofs sufficient to jus- tify her return, and every moment seemed an hour until she could feel herself free to set her face home- wards. A strange impatience seized her at every spot where the guide stopped them to admire, and Ratia's encouragement of his witticisms provoked her exces- sively. With a kind of despair she found herself required, before taking boat for St. Kevin's Cave, to mount into a wood to admire another waterfall. 'See two waterfalls,' she muttered, 'and you have seen them all. There are only two kinds, one a bucket of water thrown down from the roof of a house, the other over the staircase. Either the water is a fiction, or you can't get at them for the wet ! ' 1 That was a splendid fellow at the Devil's Glen.' 1 There's as good a one any day at the lock on the canal at home ! only we do not delude people into coming to see it. Up such places, too ! ' ' Cilly, for shame. What, tired and giving in?' 314 HOPES AND FEARS. ' Not tired in the least ; only this place is not worth getting late for the traiD.' 1 Will the young lady take my hand, I'd be proud to have the honour of helping her up,' said the guide ; but Lucilla disdainfully rejected his aid, and climbed among the stones and brushwood aloof from the others, Batia talking in high glee to the Irishman, and adven- turously scrambling. 1 Cilly, here it is,' she cried, from beneath a pro- jecting elbow of rock ; ' you look down on it. It's a delicious fall. I declare one can get into it ;' and, by the aid of a tree, she lowered herself down on a flat stone, whence she could see the cascade better than above. ' This is stunning. I vow one can get right into the bed of the stream right across. Don't be slow, Cilly, this is the prime fun of all ! ' 1 You care for the romp and nothing else,' grumbled Lucilla. That boisterous merriment was hateful to her, when feeling that the demeanour of gentle- women must be their protection, and with all her high spirit, she was terrified lest insult or remark should be occasioned. Her signs of remonstrance were only received with a derisive outburst, as Rashe climbed down into the midst of the bed of the stream. ' Come, Cilia, or I shall indite a page in the diary, headed Faint heart — Ah !' as her foot slipped on the stones, and she fell backwards, but with instant efforts at rising, such as assured her cousin that no harm was done, ' Nay, nonsensical clambering will be the word,' she said. 1 Serves you right for getting into such places ! What ! Hurt ? ' as Horatia, after resting in a sitting posture, tried to get up, but paused, with a cry. 1 Nothing,' she said, ' I'll ' but another attempt ended in the same way. Cilia sprang to her, followed by the guide, imprecating bad luck to the slippery stones. Herself standing in the water, Lucilla drew her cousin upright, and with a good deal of help from the guide, and much suffering, brought her up the HOPES AND FEARS. 315 high bank, and down the rough steep descent through the wood. She had given her back and side a severe twist, but she moved less painfully on more level ground, and, supported between Lucilla and the guide, whom the mischance had converted from a comedy clown to a delicately considerate assistant, she set out for the inn where the car had been left. The progress lasted for two doleful hours, every step worse than the last, and, much exhausted, she at length sank upon the sofa in the little siUing-room of the inn. The landlady was urgent that the wet clothes should be taken off, and the back rubbed with whisky, but Cilia stood agitating her small soaked foot, and in- sisting that the car should come round at once, since the wet had dried on them, and they had best lose no time in returning to Dublin, or at least to Bray. But Bashe cried out that the car would be the death of her ; she could not stir without a night's rest. 1 And be all the stiffer to-morrow 1 Once on the car, you will be very comfortable ' 1 Oh, no ! I can't ! This is a horrid place. Of all the unlucky things that could have happened ' 1 Then,' said Cilia, fancying a little coercion would be wholesome, ' don't be faint-hearted. You will be glad to-morrow that I had the sense to make you move to-day. I shall order the car.' 'Indeed!' cried Horatia, her temper yielding to pain and annoyance ; ' you seem to forget that this expedition is mine ! I am paymaster, and have the only right to decide.' Lucilla felt the taunt base, as recalling to her the dependent position into which she had carelessly rushed, relying on the family feeling that had hitherto made all things as one. ' Henceforth,' said she, ' I take my share of all that we spend. I will not sell my free will.' ' So you mean to leave me here alone 1 ' said Horatia, with positive tears of pain, weariness, and vexation, 316 HOPES AND FEARS. at the cruel unfriendliness of the girl she had petted. ' Nonsense ! I must abide by your fate. I only hate to see people chicken-hearted, and thought you wanted shaking up. I stay so long as you own me an independent agent.' The discussion was given up, when it was announced that a room was ready ■ and Rashe underwent so much in climbing the stairs, that Cilly thought she could not have been worse on the car. The apartment was not much behind that at the village inn at Hiltonbury. In fact, it had gay curtains and a grand figured blind, but the doors at the Charle- cote Arms had no such independent habits of opening, the cai-pet would have been whole, and the chairs would not have quaked beneath Lucy's grasshopper weight ; when down she sat in doleful resignation, having undressed her cousin, sent her chaussure to dry, and dismissed the car, with a sense of bidding fare- well to the civilized world, and entering a desert island, devoid of the zest of Robinson Crusoe. What an endless evening it was, and how the ladies detested each other ! There lay Horatia, not hurt enough for alarm, but quite cross enough to silence pity, suffering at every move, and sore at Cilly's want of compassion ; and here sat Lucilla, thoroughly dis- gusted with her cousin, her situation, and her expe- dition. Believing the strain a trifle, she not unjustly despised the want of resolution that had shrunk from so expedient an exertion as the journey, and felt injured by the selfish want of consideration that had condemned her to this awkward position in this forlorn little inn, without even the few toilette necessaries that they had with them at Dublin, and with no place to sit in, for the sitting-room below stairs served as a coffee-room, where sundry male tourists were imbibing whisky, the fumes of which ascended to the young ladies above, long before they could obtain their own meal. HOPES AND FEARS. 317 The chops were curiosities ; and as to the tea, the grounds, apparently the peat of the valley, filled up nearly an eighth of the cup, causing Lucilla in lugu- brious mirth to talk of ' That lake whose gloomy tea, ne'er saw Hyson nor Bohea,' when Rashe fretfully retorted, 'It is very unkind in you to grumble at everything, when you know I can't help it !' 'I was not grumbling, I only wanted to enliven you.' 1 Queer enlivenment !' Nor did Lucilla's attempts at body curing succeed better. Her rubbing only evoked screeches, and her advice was scornfully rejected. Horatia was a deter- mined homoeopath, and sighed for the globules in her wandering box, and as whisky and tobacco both be- came increasingly fragrant, averred again and again that nothing should induce her to stay here another night. Nothing % Lucilla found her in the morning in all the aches and flushes of a feverish cold, her sprain severely painful, her eyes swollen, her throat so sore, that in alarm Cilly besought her to send for advice ; but Rashe regarded a murderous allopathist as near akin to an executioner, and only bewailed the want of her minikin doses. Giving up the hope of an immediate departure, Lucilla despatched a messenger to Bray, thence to telegraph for the luggage ; and the day was spent in fears lest their landlord at Dublin might detain their goods as those of suspicious characters. Other excitement there was none, not even in quarrelling, for Rashe was in a sleepy state, only roused by interludes of gloomy tea and greasy broth ; and outside, the clouds had closed down, such clouds as she had never seen, blotting out lake and mountain with an impervious gray curtain, seeming to bathe rather than to rain on the place. She longed to dash out into it, but Ratia's example warned her against drenching her only garments, though indoors the dry- 318 HOPES AND FEARS. ness was only comparative. Everything she touched, herself included, seemed pervaded by a damp, limp rawness, that she vainly tried to dispel by ordering a fire. The turf smouldered, the smoke came into the room, and made their eyes water, and Rashe insisted that the fire should be put out. Cilia almost envied her sleep, as she sat disconsolate in the window, watching the comparative density of the rain, and listening to the extraordinary howls and shrieks in the town, which kept her constantly ex- pecting that a murder or a rebellion would come to relieve the monotony of the day, till she found that nothing ensued, and no one took any notice. She tried to sketch from memory, but nothing would hindel* that least pleasant of occupations — thought. Either she imagined every unpleasant chance of detention, she worried herself about Robert Fulmort, or marvelled what Mr. Prendergast and the censorious ladies would do with Edna Murrell. Many a time did she hold her watch to her ear, suspecting it of having stopped, so slowly did it loiter through the weary hours. Eleven o'clock when she hoped it was one — half-past two when it felt like five. By real five, the mist was thinner, showing first nearer, then remoter objects; the coarse slates of the roofs opposite emerged polished and dripping, and the cloud finally took its leave, some heavy flakes, like cotton wool, hanging 1 on the hill-side, and every rock shining, every leaf glistening. Verdure and rosy cheeks both resulted from a perpetual vapour bath. Lucilla rejoiced in her liberty, and hurried out of doors, but leaning out of the coffee-room window, loungers were seen who made her sensible of the awkwardness of her position, and she looked about for yesterday's guide as a friend, but he was not at hand, and her uneasy gaze brought round her numbers, begging or offering guidance. She wished to retreat, but would not, and walked briskly along the side of the valley opposite to that she had yesterday visited, HOPES AND FEARS. 319 in search of the other four churches. Two fragments were at the junction of the lakes, another was entirely destroyed, but the last, called the Abbey, stood in ruins within the same wall as the Bound Tower, which rose straight, round, mysterious, defying inquiry, as it caught the evening light on its summit, even as it had done for so many centuries past. Not that Cilia thought of the* riddles of that tower, far less of the early Christianity of the isle of saints, of which these ruins and their wild legend were the only vestiges, nor of the mysticism that planted clusters of churches in sevens as analogous to the seven stars of the Apocalypse. Even the rugged glories of the landscape chiefly addressed themselves to her as good to sketch, her highest flight in admira- tion of the picturesque. In the state of mind ascribed to the ancients, she only felt the weird unhomelikeness of the place, as though she were at the ends of the earth, unable to return, and always depressed by solitude ; she could have wept. Was it for this that she had risked the love that had been her own from childhood, and broken with the friend to whom her father had commended her 1 Was it worth while to defy their censures for this dreary spot, this weak-spirited, exacting, unrefined companion, and the insult of Mr. Calthorp's pursuit ? Naturally shrewd, well-knowing the world, and guarded by a real attachment, Lucilla had never re- garded the millionaire's attentions as more than idle amusement in watching the frolics of a beauty, and had suffered them as adding to her own diversion; but his secretly following her, no doubt to derive mirth from her proceedings, revealed to her that woman could not permit such terms without loss of dignity, and her cheek burnt at the thought of the ludicrous light in which he might place her present predicament before a conclave of gentlemen. The thought was intolerable. To escape it by rapid motion, she turned hastily to leave the enclosure. A 320 HOPES AND FEARS. figure was climbing over the steps in the wall with outstretched hand, as if he expected her to cling to him, and Mr. Calthorp, springing forward, eagerly- exclaimed in familiar, patronizing tones, ' Miss Sand- brook ! They told me you were gone this way.' Then, in a very different voice at the unexpected look and bow that he encountered : ' I hope Miss Charteris's accident is not serious.' ' Thank you, not serious,' was the freezing reply. ' I am glad. How did it occur?' ' It was a fall.' He should have no good story wherewith to regale his friends. - ' Going on well, I trust 1 Chancing to be at Dublin, I heard by accident you were here, and fearing that there might be a difficulty, I ran down in the hope of being of service to you.' ' Thank you,' in the least thankful of tones. * Is there nothing I can do for you 1 ' ' Thank you, nothing.' ' Could I not obtain some advice for Miss Charteris V 1 Thank you, she wishes for none.' ' I am sure' — he spoke eagerly — ' that in some way I could be of use to you. I shall remain at hand. I can- not bear that you should be alone in this remote place.' 1 Thank you, we will not put you to inconvenience. We intended to be alone.' f I see you esteem it a great liberty,' said poor Mr. Calthorp ; ' but you must forgive my impulse to see whether I could be of any assistance to you. I will do as you desire, but at least you will let me leave Stefano with you ; he is a fellow full of resources, who would make you comfortable here, and me easy about you.' 1 Thank you, we require no one.' Those ' thank you's' were intolerable, but her de- fensive reserve and dignity attracted the gentleman more than all her dashing brilliancy, and he became more urgent. ' You cannot ask me to leave you en- tirely to yourselves under such circumstances.' HOPES AND FEARS. 321 'I more than ask it, I insist upon it. Good morning.' ' Miss Sandbrook, do not go till you have heard and forgiven me.' 1 1 will not hear you, Mr. Calthorp. This is neither the time nor place,' said Lucilla, inly more and more perturbed, but moving along with slow, quiet steps, and betraying no emotion. 'The object of our jour- ney was totally defeated by meeting any of our ordinary acquaintance, and but for this mischance I should have been on my way home to-day.' ' Oh ! Miss Sandbrook, do you class me among your ordinary acquaintance ? ' It was all she could do to hinder her walk from losing o its calm slowness, and before she could divest her intended reply of undignified sharpness, he continued : 1 Who could have betrayed my presence ? But for this, I meant that you should never have been aware that I was hovering near to watch over you.' ' Yes, to collect good stories for your club.' 'This is injustice; Flagrant injustice, Miss Sand- brook ! Will you not credit the anxiety that irresis- tibly impelled me to be ever at hand in case you should need a protector V ' No,' was the point blank reply. ' How shall I convince you 1 ' he cried, vehemently. 1 What have I done that you should refuse to believe in the feelings that prompted me V 'What have you done?' said Lucilla, whose blood was up. ' You have taken a liberty, which is the best proof of what your feelings are, and every moment that you force your presence on me adds to the offence ! ' She saw that she had succeeded. He stood still, bowed, and answered not, possibly deeming this the most effective means of recalling her ; but from first to last he had not known Lucilla Sandbrook. The eager, protecting familiarity of his first address had given her such a shock that she felt certain that VOL. I. Y 322' HOPES AND FEARS. she had no guard but herself from positively in- sulting advances ; and though abstaining from all quickening of pace, her heart throbbed violently in the fear of hearing him following her, and the inn was a haven of refuge. She flew up to her bed-room to tear about like a panther, as if by violence to work down the tumult in her breast. She had proved the truth of Honora's warning, that beyond the pale of ordinary convenances, a woman is exposed to insult, and however sufficient she may be for her own protection, the very fact of having to defend herself is well nigh degradation. It was not owning the error. It was the agony of humiliation, not the meekness of humility, and she was as angry with Miss Charlecote for the prediction as with Mr. Calthorp for having fulfilled it, enraged with Horatia, and desperate at her present imprisoned condition, unable to escape, and liable to be still haunted by her enemy. At last she saw the discomfited swain re-enter the inn, his car come round, and finally drive off with him j and then she felt what a blank was her victory. If she breathed freely, it was at the cost of an in- creased sense of solitude and severance from the habitable world. Hitherto she had kept away from her cousin, trust- ing that the visit might remain a secret, too mortifying to both parties to be divulged, but she found Horatia in a state of eager anticipation, awakened from the torpor to watch for tidings of a happy conclusion to their difficulties, and preparing jests on the pettish ingratitude with which she expected Lucilla to requite the services that would be nevertheless accepted. Gone ! Sent away ! Not even commissioned to find the boxes. Horatia's consternation and irritation knew no bounds. Lucilla was no less indignant that she could imagine it possible to become dependent on his good offices, or to permit him to remain in the neighbourhood. Eashe angrily scoffed at her new-born HOPES AND FEARS. 323 scruples, and complained of her want of consideration for herself. Cilia reproached her cousin with utter absence of any sense of propriety and decorum. Rashe talked of ingratitude, and her sore throat being by this time past conversation, she came to tears. Cilia, who could not bear to see any one unhappy, tried many a ' never mind,' many a 'didn't mean,' many a fair augury for the morrow, but all in vain, and night came down upon the Angel Anglers more forlorn and less friendly than ever ! and, with all the invalid's discomforts so much aggravated by the tears and the altercation that escape from this gloomy shore appeared infinitely remote. There was an essential difference of tone of mind between those brought up at Hiltonbury or at Castle Blanch, and though high spirits had long concealed the unlikeness, it had now been made bare, and Lucy could not conquer her disgust and disappoint- ment. Sunshine was on Luggela, and Horatia's ailments were abating, so, as her temper was not alleviated, Lucilla thought peace would be best preserved by sallying out to sketch. A drawing from behind the cross became so engrossing that she was sorry to find it time for the early dinner, and her artistic pride was only allayed by the conviction that she should always hate what recalled Glendalough. Rashe was better, and was up and dressed. Hopes of departure produced amity, and they were almost lively over their veal broth, when sounds of arrival made Lucilla groan at the prospect of cockney tourists obstructing the completion of her drawing. ' There's a gentleman asking to see you, Miss.' * I can see no one.' 1 Cilia, now do.' 1 Tell him I cannot see him,' repeated Lucy, impe- riously. ' How can you be so silly ? he may have heard of our boxes.' y2 32-i HOPES AND FEARS. ' 1 would toss them into the lake rather than take them from him.' 'Eh ! pray let me be present when you perform the ceremony ! Cilia in the heroics ! Whom is she ex- pecting V said a voice outside the door, ever ajar, a voice that made Lucilla clasp her hands in ecstasy. 1 You, Owen ! come in,' cried Horatia, writhing herself up. 'Owen, old Owen ! that's right,' burst from Cilia, as she sprang to him. 'Right ! Ah ! that is not the greeting I expected j I was thinking how to guard my eyes. »So, you have had enough of the unprotected dodge ! What has Rashe been doing to herself % A desperate leap down the Falls of Niagara.' Horatia was diffuse in the narration ; but, after the first, Lucy did not speak. She began by arming her- self against her brother's derision, but presently felt perplexed by detecting on his countenance something unwontedly grave and preoccupied. She was sure that his attention was far away from Rashe's long story, and she abruptly interrupted it with, ' How came you here, Owen?' He did not seem to hear, and she demanded, ' Is anything the matter ? Are you come to fetch us because any one is ill V Starting, he said, ' No, oh no ! ' ' Then what brought you here 1 a family council, or Honor Charlecote 1 ' ' Honor Charlecote,' he repeated mistily : then, making an effort, ' Yes, good old soul, she gave me a vacation tour on condition that I should keep an eye on you. Go on, Rashe ; what were you saying V ' Didn't you hear me, Owen ? Why, Calthorp, the great Calthorp, is in our wake. Cilly is frantic' ' Calthorp about !' exclaimed Owen, with a start of dismay. 'Where?' ' I've disposed of him,' quoth Lucilla ; ' he'll not trouble us again.' HOPES AND FEARS. 325 I Which way is he gone V I I would not tell you if I knew.' 1 Don't be such an idiot,' he petulantly answered ; ' 1 want nothing of the fellow, only to know whether he is clean gone. Are you sure whether he went by Bray?' ' I told you I neither knew nor cared.' 1 Could you have believed, Owen,' said Rashe, plain- tively, ' that she was so absurd as never even to tell him to inquire for our boxes ? ' ' Owen knows better ;' but Lucilla stopped, surprised to see that his thoughts were again astray. Giving a constrained smile, he asked, 'Well, what next ?' * To find our boxes,' they answered in a breath. 'Your boxes? Didn't I tell you I've got them here?' 1 Owen, you're a trump,' cried Rashe. ' How on earth did you know about them ?' inquired his sister. 1 Yery simply ; crossed from Liverpool yesterday, reconnoitered at your hotel, was shown your telegram, went to the luggage office, routed out that the things were taking a gentle tour to Limerick, got them back this morning, and came on. And what are you after next ! ' 'Home,' jerked out Lucy, without looking up, thinking how welcome he would have been yesterday, without the goods. ' Yes, home,' said Horatia. ' This abominable sprain will hinder my throwing a line, or jolting on Irish roads, and if Cilia is to be in agonies when she see3 a man on the horizon, we might as well never have come.' ' Will you help me to carry home this poor invalid warrior, Owen?' said Lucilla; 'she will permit you.' ' I'll put you into the steamer,' said Owen ; ' but, you see, I have made my arrangements for doing Kil- larney and the rest of it.' ' I declare,' said Rashe, recovering benevolence with 326 HOPES AND FEARS. comfort, ' if they would send Scott from the Castle to meet me at Holyhead, Cilly might as well go on with you. You would be sufficient to keep off the Cal- thorps.' 1 I'm afraid that's no go,' hesitated Owen. ' You see I had made my plans, trusting to your bold asser- tions that you would suffer no one to approach.' 1 Oh ! never mind. It was no proposal of mine. I've had enough of Ireland,' returned Lucy, somewhat ao-crrieved. BO 1 How soon shall you be sufficiently repaired for a start, Ratia?' asked Owen, turning quickly round to her. ' To-morrow % No ! Well, I'll come over and see.' 1 Going away I 1 cried the ladies, by no means willing to part with their guardian. I Yes, I must." Expecting that we should be parallels never meeting, I had to provide for my- self.' I I see,' said Rashe ; ' he has a merry party at New- ragh Bridge, and will sit up over whist and punch till midnight ! ' ' You don't pretend to put yourselves in competi- tion,' said he, snatching at the idea hastily. ' Oh ! no,' said his sister, with an annoyed gesture. 1 1 never expect you to prefer me and my comfort to ny one.' ' Indeed, Cilia, I'm sorry,' he answered gently, but in perplexity, ' but I never reckoned on being wanted, and engagements are engagements.' ' I'm sure I don't want you when anything pleasanter is going forward,' she answered, with vexation in her tone. ' I'll be here by eleven or twelve,' he replied, avoid- ing the altercation ; ' but I must get back now. I shall be waited for.' ' Who is it that can't wait ? ' asked Rashe. ' Oh ! just an English acquaintance of mine. There, good-bye ! I wish I had come in time to surprise the HOPES A2sD FEARS. S27 modern St. Kevin ! Are you sure there was no drowning in the lake ! ' ' You know it was blessed to drown no one after Kathleen.' 1 Reassuring ! Only mind you put a chapter about it into the tour.' Under the cover of these words he was gone. ' 1 declare there's some mystery about his com- panion ! ' exclaimed Horatia. ' Suppose it were Cal- thorp himself?' • Owen is not so lost to respect for his sister.' 1 But did you not see how little he was surprised, and how much pre-occupied V 1 Very likely ; but no one but you could imagine him capable of such an outrage.' ' You have been crazy ever since you entered Ire- land, and expect every one else to be the same. Seriously, what damage did you anticipate from a little civility V 1 If you begin upon that, I shall go out and finish my sketch, and not unpack one of the boxes.' Nevertheless, Lucilla spent much fretting guess- work on her cousin's surmise. She relied too much on Owen's sense of propriety to entertain the idea that he could be forwarding a pursuit so obviously insolent, but a still wilder conjecture had been set afloat in her mind. Could the nameless one be Robert Fulmort ? Though aware of the anonymous nature of brother's friends, the secrecy struck her as unusually guarded ; and to one so used to devotion, it seemed no extraor- dinary homage that another admirer should be drawn along at a respectful distance, a satellite to her erratic course ; nay, probably all had been concerted in Woolstone Lane, and therewith the naughty girl crested her head, and prepared to take offence. After all, it could not be, or why should Owen have been bent on returning, and be so independent of her ? Far more probably he had met a college friend or a Westminster schoolfellow, some of whom were in regiments quartered 328 HOPES AND FEAES. in Ireland, and on the morrow would bring him to do the lions of Glendalough, among which might be reckoned the Anarel Anglers! That possibility might have added some grains to the satisfaction of making a respectable toilette next day. Certain it is that Miss Sandbrook's mountain costume was an exquisite feat of elaborate simplicity, and that the completion of her sketch was interrupted by many a backward look down the pass, and many a contradictory mood, sometimes boding almost as harsh a reception for Robert as for Mr. Calthorp, sometimes relenting in the thrill of hope, sometimes accusing herself of arrant folly, and expecting as a £>is alter the diversion of dazzling and tormenting an Oxonian, or a soldier or two ! Be the meeting what it might, she preferred that it should be out of Horatia's sight, and so drew on and on to the detriment of her distances. Positively it was past twelve, and the desire to be surprised unconcernedly occupied could no longer obviate her restlessness, so she packed up her hair- pencil, and, walking back to the inn, found Rashe in solitary possession of the coffee-room. ' You have missed him, Cilly.' 1 Owen 1 No one else V 'No, not the Calthorp ; I am sorry for you.' 1 But who was here ? tell me, Rashe.' 1 Owen, I tell you,' repeated Horatia, playing with her impatience. ' Tell me ; I will know whether he has any one with him.' 1 Alack for your disappointment, for the waste of that blue bow ; not a soul came here but himself.' ' And where is he 1 how did I miss him V said Lucilla, forcibly repressing the mortification for which her cousin was watching. 1 Gone. As I was not in travelling trim, and you not- forthcoming, he could not wait ; but we are to be off to-morrow at ten o'clock.' HOPES AND FEARS. 329 'Why did he not come out to find me? Did you tell him I was close by Y ' He had to join his friend, and go to the Yale of Avoca. I've found out the man, Cilia. No, don't look so much on the qui vive ; it's only Jack Hastings.' 'Jack Hastings !' said Lucilla, her looks fallen. ' No wonder he would not bring him here.' 1 Why not, poor fellow 1 I used to know him very well before he was up the spout.' ' I wish Owen had not fallen in with him,' said the sister, gravely. ' Are you certain it is so, Rashe V i I taxed him with it, and he did not deny it ; only put it from him, laughing. What's the harm 1 Poor Jack was always a good-natured, honourable fellow, uncommonly clever and amusing — a well-read man, too ; and Owen is safe enough — no one could try to borrow of him.' ' What would Honor's feelings be V said Lucilla, with more fellow-feeling for her than for months past. Lax as was the sisters tolerance, she was startled at his becoming the associate of an avowedly loose character under the stigma of the world, and with perilous abilities and agreeableness ; and it was another of Horatia's offences against proper feeling, not only to regard such evil communications with indifference, but absolutely to wish to be brought into contact with a person of this description in their present isolated state. Displeased and uneasy, Lucilla assumed the role of petulance and quarrelsomeness for the rest of the day, and revenged herself to the best of her abilities upon Eashe and Owen, by refusing to go to inspect the scene of Kathleen's fatal repulse. True to his appointment, Owen arrived alone on a car chosen with all regard to Horatia's comfort, and was most actively attentive in settling on it the ladies and their luggage, stretching himself out on the oppo- site side, his face raised to the clouds, as he whistled 330 HOPES AND FEARS. an air ; but his eye was still restless, and his sister resolved on questioning him. Opportunities were, however, rare ; whether or not with the design of warding off a tete-a-tete, he devoted himself to his cousin's service in a manner rare to her since she had laid herself out to be treated as though her name were Horace instead of Horatia. However, Lucilla was not the woman to be balked of a settled purpose ; and at their hotel, at Dublin, she nailed him fast by turning back on him when Horatia bade them good night. ' Well, what do you want V he asked, annoyed. 1 1 want to speak to you.' 1 1 hope it is to beg me to write to ask Honor to receive you at home, and promise to behave like a decent and respectable person.' ' I want neither a judge nor an intercessor in you.' 1 Come, Lucy, it really would be for every one's good if you would go and take care of poor Honor. You have been using her vilely, and I should think you'd had enough of Rashe for one while.' ' If I have used her vilely, at least I have dealt openly by her,' said Lucilla. ' She has always seen the worst of me on the surface. Can you bear to talk of her when you know how you are treating her f He coloured violently, and his furious gesture would have intimidated most sisters ; but she stood her ground, and answered his stammeriug demand what she dared to imply. 1 You may go into a passion, but you cannot hinder me from esteeming it shameful to make her mission a cover for associating with one whom she would regard with so much horror as Jack Hastings.' 1 Jack Hastings !' cried Owen, to her amazement, bursting into a fit of laughter, loud, long, and ex- plosive. ' Well done, Rashe !' 1 You told her so.' 1 She told me so, and one does not contradict a lady.' HOPES AND FEARS. 331 'Something must have put it into her head.' ' Only to be accounted for by an unrequited attach- ment,' laughed Owen ; ' depend on it, a comparison of dates would show Hastings's incarceration to have been the epoch of Rashe's taking to the high masculine line — 1 " If e"er she loved, 'twas him alone Who lived within the jug of stone." ' ' For shame, Owen ; Rashe never was in love.' But he went on laughing at Rashe's disappointment at his solitary arrival till she said, tartly, ' You cannot wonder at our thinking you must have some reason for neither mentioning your companion's name nor bringing him with you.' ' In fact, no man not under a cloud could abstain from paying homage to the queen of the anglers.' It was so true as to raise an angry spot on her cheek, and provoke the hasty excuse, ' It would have been obvious to have brought your friend to see your cousin and sister.' 1 One broken-backed, both unwashed ! 0, the sin- cerity of the resistance I overheard ! No gentleman ad- mitted, forsooth ! O, for a lodge in some vast wilder- ness ! Yes ; St. Anthony would have found it a wilderness indeed without his temptations. What would St. Dunstan have been minus the black gentle- man's nose, or St. Kevin but for Kathleen ? It was a fortunate interposition that Calthorp turned up the day before I came, or I might have had to drag the lake for you.' This personal attack only made her persist. ' It was very different when we were alone or with you ; you know very well that there could have been no objection.' ' No objection on your side, certainly, so I perceive ; but suppose there were no desire on the other V 'Oh!' in a piqued voice, ' I know many men don't care for ladies' society, but I don't see why they should be nameless.' 332 HOPES AND FEARS. 1 1 thought you would deem such a name unworthy to be mentioned. ' ' Well, but who is the shy man 1 Is it the little Henniker, who used to look as if he would dive under the table when you brought him from Westminster?' ' If I told you, you would remember it against the poor creature for life, as a deliberate insult and want of taste. Good night.' He took his hat, and went out, leaving Lucy balancing her guesses between Ensign Henniker and him whom she could not mention. Her rejection of Mr. Calthorp might have occasioned the present secrecy, and she was content to leave herself the pleasant mystery, in the hope of having it dispelled by her last glance of Kingstown quay. In that hope, she rocked herself to sleep, and next morning was so extra vivacious as to be a sore trial to poor Rashe, in the anticipation of the peine forte et dure of St. George's Channel. Owen was also in high spirits, but a pattern of consideration and kind attention, as he saw the ladies on board, and provided for their com- fort, not leaving them till the last moment. Lucilla's heart had beaten fast from the moment she had reached Kingstown ; she was keeping her hand free to wave a most encouraging kiss, and as her eye roamed over the heads upon the quay without a recog- nition, she felt absolutely baffled and cheated ; and gloriously as the Bay of Dublin spread itself before her, she was conscious only of wrath and mortification, and of a bitter sense of dreariness and desertion. Nobody cared for her, not even her brother ! CHAPTER IX. My pride, that took Fully easily all impressions from below, Would not look up, or half despised the height To which I could not, or I would not climb. 1 thought I could not breathe in that fine air. Idylls of the Euro. 'AjST you come and take a turn in the Temple - gardens, Phoebe ? ' asked Robert, on the way from church, the day after Owen's visit to Woolstone Lane. Phoebe rejoiced, for she had scarcely seen him since his return from Castle Blanch, and his state of mind was a mystery to her. It was long, however, before he afforded her any clue. He paced on, grave and abstracted, and they had many times gone up and down the least frequented path, before he abruptly said, ' I have asked Mr. Parsons to give me a title for Holy Orders.' ' I don't quite know what that means.' 1 How simple you are, Phoebe,' he said, impatiently ; 1 it means that St. Wulstan's should be my first curacy. May my labours be accepted as an endeavour to atone for some of the evil we cause here.' 1 Dear Ptobin ! what did Mr. Parsons say ? Was lie not very glad V 1 No ; there lies the doubt.' 'Doubt?' ' Yes. He told me that he had engaged as many 334 HOPES AND FEARS. curates as lie has means for. I answered that my stipend need be no consideration, for I only wished to spend on the parish, but he was not satisfied. Many incumbents don't like to have curates of independent means ; I believe it has an amateur appearance.' ' Mr. Parsons cannot think you would not be de- voted.' 1 1 hope to convince him that I may be trusted. It is all that is left me now.' I It will be very cruel to you, and to the poor people, if he will not,' said Phoebe, warmly ; ' what will papa and Mervyn say Y I I shall not mention it till all is settled ; I have my father's consent to my choice of a profession, and I do not think myself bound to let him dictate my course as a minister. I owe a higher duty, and if his busi- ness scatters the seeds of vice, surely "obedience in the Lord" should not prevent me from tryiDg to counteract them.' It was a case of conscience to be only judged by him- self, and where even a sister like Phcebe could do little but hope for the best, so she expressed a cheerful hope that her father must know that it was right, and that he would care less, now that he was away, and pleased with Augusta's prospects. ' Yes,' said .Robert, ' he already thinks me such a fool, that it may be indifferent to him in what par- ticular manner I act it out.' ' And how does it stand with Mr. Parsons V ' He will give me an answer to-morrow evening, provided I continue in the same mind. There is no chance of my not doing so. My time of suspense is over!' and the words absolutely sounded like relief, though the set stern face, and the long breaths at each pause told another tale. * I did not think she would really have gone ! ' said Phcebe. 1 This once, and we will mention her no more. It is not merely this expedition, but all I saw at Wrap- HOPES AND FEARS. 335 worth convinced me that I should risk my faithfulness to my calling by connecting myself with one who, with all her loveliness and generosity, lives upon excite- ment. She is the very light of poor Prendergast's eyes, and he cannot endure to say a word in her dis- praise ; she is constantly doing acts of kindness in his parish, and is much beloved there, yet he could not conceal how much trouble she gives him by her want of judgment and wilfulness ; patronizing and forgetting capriciously, and attending to no remonstrance. You saw yourself the treatment of that schoolmistress. I thought the more of this, because Prendergast is so fond of her, and does her full justice. No \ her very aspect proves that a parish priest has no business to think of her.' Large tears swelled in Phoebe's eyes. The first vision of her youth was melting away, and she detected no relenting in his grave resolute voice. 1 Shall you tell her V was all she could say. 1 That is the question. At one time she gave me reason to think that she accepted a claim to be con- sidered in my plans, and understood what I never con- cealed. Latterly she has appeared to withdraw all encouragement, to reject every advance, and yet Phoebe, tell me whether she has given you any reason to suppose that she ever was in earnest with me V ' I know she respects and likes you better than any one, and speaks of you like no one else,' said Phcebe ; then pausing, and speaking more diffidently, though with a smile, ' I think she looks up to you so much, that she is afraid to put herself in your power, for fear she should be made to give up her odd ways in spite of herself, and yet that she has no notion of losing you. Did you see her face at the station ¥ * I would not ! I could not meet her eyes ! I snatched my hand from the little clinging fingers ;' and Robert's voice almost became a gasp. ' It was not fit that the spell should be renewed. She would be miserable, I under constant temptation, if I en- 336 HOPES AND FEARS. deavoured to make her share my work ! Best as it is ! She has so cast me off that my honour is no longer bound to her ; but I cannot tell whether it be due to her to let her know how it is with me, or whether it would be mere coxcombry.' 'The Sunday that she spent here,' said Phoebe, slowly, ' she had a talk with me. I wrote it down. Miss Fennimore says it is the safest way ' ' Where is it V cried Robert. 'I kept it in my pocket-book, for fear any one should see it, and it should do harm. Here it is, if it will help you. I am afraid I made things worse, but I did not know what to say.' It was one of the boldest experiments ever made by a sister ; for what man could brook the sight of an un- varnished statement of his proxy's pleading, or help imputing the failure to the go-between ? ' I would not have had this happen for a thousand pounds!' was his acknowledgment. 'Child as you are, Phcebe, had you not sense to know, that no woman could endure to have that said, which should scarcely be implied 1 I wonder no longer at her studied avoidance.' ' If it be all my bad management, cannot it be set right?' humbly and hopefully said Phcebe. ' There is no right 1' he said. ' There, take it back. It settles the question. The security you childishly showed, was treated as offensive presumption on my part. It would be presuming yet farther to make a formal withdrawal of what was never accepted.' ' Then is it my doing 1 Have I made mischief be- tween you, and put you apart V said poor Phcebe, in