822 B333t PROMPTNESS will be sent by in filling all orders is always a feature of our business. Catalogues sent free. Any Play, Dialogue Book, Speaker, Guide Book, Wigs and Beards,— in fact anything you want AMES’ PUBLISHING CO., Clyde, Ohio. AMES’SERIES OF STANDARD. AND MINOR DRAMA, No. 54. THE TWO T. J.’S. (. FARCE.) WITH CAST OF CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES, AND EXITS, RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, DESCRIPTION OF COSTUMES AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS, CAREFULLY MARKED FROM THE MOST APPROVED ACTING COPY. PRICE 15 CENTS. CLYDE, OHIO: AMES’ PUBLISHING CO, Al m co No goods sent C, 0 . D. Payment MUST accompany all orders Captured; or, the Old Maid’s Triumph. Comedy. Prof. Bones’ Latest Invention, Farce. Dot, the Miner’s Daughter. Temperance Play. Cousin Jonti’s Album, Pantomime. Festival of Days. A Series of Tableaux. Nobody’s Moke, Farce. r ALPHABETICAL LIST CF Edition of Plays. --° 4 *- FIFTEEN CENTS EACH UNLESS OTHERWISE MARKED. NO. AI. F. DRAMAS. 2 A Desperate Game. . 3 2 164 After Ten 1 ears. . 7 5 39 A Life’s Revenge.. . 7 5 43 Arrah de Baugh. . 7 5 100 Aurora Floyd. . 7 2 125 Auld Robin Gray 25c. .13 8 89 Beauty of Lyons. .11 2 113 Bill Detrick. . 7 3 226 Brae, the Poor House Girl... . 4 4 14 Brigands of Calabria. . 6 1 160 Conn; or. Love's Victory. .11 3 “161 Dora. . 5 2 60 Driven to the Wall.. 3 152 Driven from Home. 4 173 East Lynne... . 8 7 143 Emigrant’s Daughter. . 8 3 176 Factory Girl. „ 6 3 162 Fielding Manor. . 9 t 255 Gertie's Vindication. . 3 117 Hal Hazard, 25c. .10 3 207 Heroic Dutchman of ’76. . 8 $ 51 Henry Granden. .11 74 ow He Did It. . 3 141 Hi rid n Treasures. . 4 26 Hunter of the Alps. . 9 4 191 Hidden Hand. .15 7 194 3 Lights and Shadows of the Great Rebellion, 25c.10 Lady of Lyons.12 5 *) 9 Lady Audle\ ’s Secret. Lost in London. , 6 4 261 „ 6 4 46 Man and Wife. .12 7 227 Maud’s Peril. . 5 3 211 Midnight Mistake. „ 6 2 251 Millie, the Quadroon. ,. 4 i 163 Miriam’s Crime... ,. 5 2 91 Michael File. . 8 3 36 Miller of Derwent Water. 2 34 Mistletoe Bough. „ 7 3 229 Mountebanks (The). 6 2 223 Old Honesty. Old Phi’s Birthday. 2 81 3 85 Outcast’s Wife. ..12 3 83 Out on the Wo. Id. 4 196 Oath Bound. .. 6 2 29 Painter of Ghent. .. 5 3 18 Poacher’s Doom. .. 8 3 10 Reverses.. ..12 6 45 Rock Allen.. .. 5 3 79 Spy of Atlanta, 25c.. ..14 3 144 Tiiekla. .. 9 4 67 The False Friend.. .. 6 1 97 The Fatal Blow. .. 7 1 119 The Forty-Niners. ..10 4 2i2 The Dutch Recruit 2'c. ..14 3 92 The Gentl man in Black.... .. 9 4 112 The New Magdalen. .. 8 3 71 The Reward of Crime. .. 5 3 105 Through Snow and Sunshine 6 4 NO. M. F. 7 The Vow of the Ornani. , 7 1 201 Ticket of Leave Man. , 9 3 193 Toodles. , 7 2 260 Uncle Tom’s Cabin. .16 7 121 Will -o’-the- Wisp,..... 9 4 41 Won at Last. 7 3 192 Zion...... TEMPERANCE PLAYS. , 7 4 73 At Last. , 7 1 75 Adrift. 5 4 187 Aunt Dinah’s Pledge. 6 3 254 Dot; the iner’s Daughter- 9 5 202 Drunkard [The].. .13 5 185 Drunkar ’s Warning. , 6 3 189 Drunkard’s Doom. .15 5 181 Fifteen Years of a Drunk ard’s Life. 13 4 183 Fruits of the Wine Cup. . 6 3 104 Lost. . 6 2 i.46 Our Awful Aunt.. . 4 4 53 Out in the Streets. 6 4 51 Rescued.../.. 5 3 59 Saved.. . 2 3 102 Turn of the Tide.. . 7 4 63 Three Glasses a Day. . 4 2 62 Ten Nights in a Bar-Room... , 7 3 '58 Wreck-d... COMEDIES. . 9 3 168 A Pleasure Trip. . 7 3 :33 A Legal Holiday.. . 5 3 124 An Afflicted Family. 5 257 < aught in the Act.. . 7 3 248 Captured . . 6 4 178 Caste. 5 3 199 Home . . 4 3 174 Love’s Labor Not Lost.. . 3 3 149 New Years in N. Y. . 7 6 37 Not So Bad After All. . 6 5 237 Not Such a F ol as He Looks 6 3 126 Our Daughters.. . 8 6 114 Passions. . 8 4 219 Rags and Bottles. . 4 1 239 Scale with Sharps and Flats. . 3 2 221 Solon Shingle. .14 2 87 The Biter Bit. . 3 2 249 $2,090 Reward. TRAGEDIES. . 2 0 16 The Serf. .. 6 3 FARCES AND COMEDIETTAS. 129 Aar-u-ag-oos. 2 1 132 Actor and Servant.. . 1 1 12 A Capital Match. . 3 2 166 ATexan Mother-in-Law. . 4 6 30 A Day Well Spent. ,. 7 5 169 A Regular Fix. „ 2 4 80 Alarmingly Suspicious... ,. 4 3 78 An A wild Criminal. .. 3 •3 THE TWO T. J’S, Jl FAROE IN ONE ACT, —BY— MARTIN BEECHER. 4 - CLYDE, OHIO: A. D. AMES, PUBLISHER. THE TWO T. J'S. First performed at the Theatre Koyal, Drury Lane, under the manage¬ ment of Mr. F. B. Chatterton, on Saturday, September 23, 1871. OAST OF CHARACTERS. Mr. Themistocles Judd, (a learned author) .Mr. J. Francis Tom Jsrvis.Mr. W. Terriss Mr. Nathaniel Hokes.Mr. Ersser Jones Detective...Mr. Milton Lotty...Miss Maud Howard Mrs. Clapper—.Mrs Power SCENE—An ordinary room with two practicable doors. TIME— The Present. COSTUMES OF THE DAY THE TWO T + m SCENE .—Boom discovered at rise of curtain. Enter Mrs. Clapper, l., [carrying candles , followed by Themistocles Judd. Mrs. C. {puts candles on table) There sir, I thought when you called yesterday you’d come again—if jit’s quiet lodgings you’re in search of, there’s no need to look any further. This cottage you see, is quite at the back of my house. Many’s the gentleman as have worked |here for their jp examination, and what not. Ali to yourself—no noise—and a private way r out here, {points e.) if you don’t wish to use the Iront door. Judd. Ha, your catalogue of advantages, madam, seems almostjtoo good, y 4 too good to be true. I am an author, madam; this brain is daily laboring , for the benefit of my fellow creatures. But there are drawbacks in great j/k cities. Powerful evils—shall I say organs ? or need I specify Teutonic v# bands, and peripatetic venders of homely necessities ? “Twas but yester- & day my refutation of the Darwinian theory suscombed entirely to a miser- Jfh able monkey with a tambourine. ; > Mrs. C. You’ll find no organs and monkeys to trouble you here, sir, a How long might you require these apartments ? ^ Judd. Say, a fortnight, madam; I’ve seen nothing better, so I think I’ll close with you at once, and remain here, now. Ha ? excuse me one in- , stant—I’ve an idea ! {rushes to table , takes out large Mss. and writes. > Mrs. C. {aside) What an extraordinary gentleman! Let me see—a cy fortnight—that would do very well. Mr. Tom Jarvis said he would > be away quite three weeks, and as alone widow, I’ve a right to makemon- \ ey off his rooms, even if he does pay all the same. J Judd. Charming! this place suits me. The healthy action of the brain U- returns in all its vigor. I take this room on your*pwn terms-, madam; only mind—I’m not to be disturbed—don’t pester me with inquiries as to what , I’ll eat, or how I’ll sleep, here’s my pabulum, {strikes Mss.) and here’s my ' couch. This is a fortunate meeting for you ; some day a tablet will adorn _ the front of your modest house—the inscription on it: “Here once lived Themistocles Judd.” Go, I would be alone ! Mrs. C. Hem ! it’s usual sir to ask for reference—not that I-- p Judd. References! What have I to do with references? When the " glorious orb of day streams with unsullied beam through your vitreous apertures, do you stop to ask whence he comes ? Oh, I am rarely in the cue to-night—here {gives money) take gold—that is the reference which iP satisfies the cravings of the earthly mind—is it enough ? Mrs. C. Oh, yes, sir, perfectly satisfactory; there’s the bell sir, in case you should want anything— {aside) —he’s a great man, I’m certain; some¬ body of consequence, I should think ; I don’t understand half what he says ; and as he dosen’t want anything, why I’ll step around to Mrs. Hopkins’ ^ for our usual tripe supper. Good night, sir. ( exit l. Judd. Now for a long night’s work—this room has often seen the efforts of hackneyed labor, striving to instil into the brain the dogmas of other sages; on this occasion it shall see genius breaking its bonds, and gushing out in original channels. Ila! where was I {rapping heard on door r.) U. OF ILL. LIB, 4 THE TWO T. J’S. Hear me. What’s that? It sounds like—a hammering of nail. Thank goodness, it stops. Let me see— [rapping heard] Now this is too bad, just as I had arrange-d all my ideas. ( stop rapping) Now then— [rapping a gain] The deuce take this human woodpecker ! There must be a carpenter’s shop or an undertaker out behind here. If there is, that woman’s a swindler ! I’ll have my money returned 1 Confound the noise ! I’ll investi¬ gate. ( opens door r. Enter, suddenly , r. Nathaniel Nokes. Nokes. Villiain ! Mongrel! Serpent! I am her father ! Tremble, sir, at this concentration of accumulated rage, and when you’ve trembled suffi¬ ciently, tell me where she is. Judd. This passes all I ever experienced. I say, I’ll trouble you to walk out again. As you claim to be a lather, which I have always understood to be a most trying position, I will overlook the uncomplimentary epithets which you’ve addressed to me, but— Nokes. Fellow, do you see this stick ? Judd. Old gentleman, I d(*, and unless I greatly mistake. I heard it not long since, wood-peckermg on my door. Nokes. Hold—let us approach this matter calmly. You admit this to be your room, and your landlady to be Mrs. Clapper? Judd. No doubt of it. Nokes. Hang me if you aint a cool scoundrel. I must say it, or I feel I shall explode. I’ve had the detectives after you, my friend, for some time; but you see I’ve done them, for I’ve run you down myself. You were dev¬ ilish clever, T. J.—thought you’d got clear off, and left no trace, but that misguided girl dropped this [shows letter] in her room; so here I am, near¬ ly as soon as you. Now we’ve wasted time enough already—where is she ? Judd. We have. In your case it’s no consequence; but in mine, it is manhood which suffers. I’ve already made allowance for your feelings, and listened with patience to your incoherent remarks. Nokes You’ve acted your part to the life. You wouldn’t let me in until you’d hidden her and removed every trace : wouldn’t have opened the door at all, if you hadn’t thought my persistent efforts with this stick would rouse the neighborhood on you. Come, now—are you a villain, or are you my son-in-law? Judd. Unquestionbly not the first—thank heaven not the last. Nokes. How? If you are not the last, you must be the first. Will you produce my daughter man ? Judd. If I were not, an even tempered man, I should throw you out of the window to find her. Listen ! 1 am an author- Nokes. Of all my misery—I know you are. Judd. I’ve come to this spot for quiet—do you mark that?—to macerate my brain in solitude. 1 know nothing of your offspring, and I command you to begone at once. Nokes. All mighty fine, for anybody that’s fool enough to believe it; I don’t. T. J. you’re a deep un. Perhaps however, yon’ll say you’re not T. J. Judd. It savors somewhat of vulgarity—but there is no necessity for me to deny the initials letters of my name are T. J. Nokes. Ah ha! It’s something to get you to admit that. Let’s try again. I’ll board you on another track. You’re not to be bullied into con¬ fessing. 1 haul down my flag. Will you permit a broken-hearted parent to embrace his chey-ild ? Bring her forth and let me see you kneel togeth¬ er, that I may give yon my blessing. Judd. I shall do something the reverse of blessing you, if you don’t im¬ mediately walk out. Old gentleman, have you any idea of the value of time? Ho you know that these moments you are losing with your tomfool¬ ery, are golden ? Nokes. Walk out, indeed! Not without seeing her, I’ll be hanged if I do. [calls] Charlotte, come out; l forgive you, only come out and let me Bee you! I THE TWO T. J’S. S Judd. Stop this infernal row, sir, and be off! This is heart-breaking! just as I had settled down to work, inspired with the subject, too. Nokes. Conspired? Of course you have—it’s all a vile conspiracy. Charlotte, if you don’t come out, I’ll break every bone in this fellow’s skin. Judd. Look here, I’m not wrathful,* but if you hinder me any longer, I shall fall upon you and put you forth. Nokes Don’t I say I’ll forgive you; what more do you want? Judd . I want you to go, and take your lunatic utterances somewhere else. <%Nokes. You’ll repent this my fine fellow —you’re driving away your best friend. But I will go now, and you shall here of me in another style* (calls) Charlotte, you’d better come out—I’m off for good. Judd. That’s the most sensible thing you’ve said yet. Seek your friends, and get them to take care of you. Nokes. You conceited ape ! I’ll lower your pride. You’ve refused my overtures : see how you’ll like the next move in the game. [ exit k. Judd. The most remarkable specimen of insanity at large I ever had the bad fortune to encounter. [ sits at table ] How to make up the loss occasioned by this miserable interruption. Ha, there are two ways of plac¬ ing my next proposition; let met reflect which will be the better. Enter Tom Jarvis , with carpet bag , and Lottie , door r. Tom. Here we are, Lottie, safe home at last, and (sees Judd) Who the devil are you ? Judd, (looks up) What, some one else ? This is past a joke you know. Omitting the Satanic allusion, perhaps gyou’fl have the goodness to state your business here. Tom. My business ! What a neat inquiry to put to a man in his own house! Just you tumble out, now, as rapidly as possible, and we’ll argue the question this day six months. Judd. Young man you’re inebriated—I refused to hold converse with you. Maiden, there’s some mistake here, you’ve come to the wrong house. Lot. Oh, Tom, dear, is this so ? You surely can’t have made a mis¬ take. Tom. How is it likely that I don’t know my own rooms? Lottie, its this respectable grampus that’s committed the error. Will you just ex¬ plain your right to be sitting there comfortable at my table ? Judd. Some neighboring lunatic asylum must have vomited forth its in¬ habitants to. worry me to-night. Young man I am sitting at my own table ; this room, in accordance with statutory edicts, is my castle. I beg you therefore to depart peacefully, and leave me to myself. Tom. Well, I’ve met a variety of people in my time, but that lofty style beats all. Lottie, these are my rooms, it there’s any virtue in pay¬ ing rent, (begins to take off coat) We’ll soon see who’s the rightful pos¬ sessor. Lot. Oh, Tom, dear, don’t fight. This gentleman seems reasonable. Of course, he’ll go at once, when he finds he’s no business to be here. (to Judd) Please don’t excite him, sir. You’ll go away this minute— won’t you? How don’t stand on ceremony, there’s a good man. You must have expected to be tuned out when the real proprietor came, Judd.^ She’s, insane too. Madam, 1 am the real proprietor. You are strangely deceived in this matter. Pray persuade your companion to go and set up B a claim somewhere else—anywhere but here. You see I’m de¬ termined ,* I refuse to move ; I won’t budge an inch. Tom. Won’t you though ? I shall now proceed to cover you with confu¬ sion as with a garment. I’ll summon old mother Clapper. I didn’t want to see her till to-morrow; but if I must—why I must, so here goes ! (pulls bell violently) We’ll hear what she has to say to this jolly arrangement. Lot. But my dear Tom, how precipitate you are 1 What are you going to say to explain my presence here ? You say she knows nothing yet. Tom. Don’t be frightened Lottie. Who could have foreseen that a dis- >6 THE TWO T. J’S. mal cuckoo like that would come creeping in here to turn me out of my own nest? Besides I may as well have it out with her at once, and sayl have brought a nice little wife home with me to share my rooms. Lot. Yes, but if it’s necessary to share that solemn looking mortal along with them, I think I should prefer to give up both. Tom. i'll make it all right, never fear. Wait until old Mother Clap¬ per comes, (puts head out of door l. — shouts ) Mrs. Clapper! Judd. And this is a specimen of quiet lodgings. Tom. Let’s see—this is Tuesday ! She’s gone off to her usual tripe sup¬ per with Mrs. Hopkins round the corner; and Sarah Jane the kitchen maid is imbibing sentiments of esteem—and porter—with the policeman at the top of the area steps. Yes, that’s it; I know the ways of the house. (to Judd) Here I say—who are you ? Judd. Don’t shout at me, young man. You’ll find I’m not to be put down by clamor. If however, there’s any chance of it’s facilitating your departure, there’s my card. ( gives card . Tom. (to Lottie ) I’ll try humoring him. (to Judd) Mr. Thomas-tock- les Judd, I think I was a little hasty when I came in. Allow me to apol¬ ogize. This an unpleasant business, and you see what an awkward dilem¬ ma I’m placed in. I put it to your gentlemanly feeling. I’ve brought home my wife, so perhaps you wont mind leaving us in possession for to¬ night, and we’ll have it made all right to-morrow. Lot. Oh, yes, Mr. Judd, you will—wont you? Do you notice what a benevolent expression of countenance Mr. Judd has, Tom? I think we mite confide our little secret to him, and ask his advice before he goes. Judd. Do you mean to tell me that you imagine I am going to turn out of my apartment to find another at this time of night ? Tom. No, no ; I only ask you to get along out of mine. Judd . Then I preemptorily decline. Now see here my good young people; let me explain how important it is you shouldn’t hinder me any longer. I am laboring for your benefit—for the benefit of society at large —you’re injuring your fellow men by interrupting me; indeed you are. Tom. Bother our fellow men! Charity begins at home, you know. Here Dotty, get Mr. Judd his hat, and don’t keep him talking when he’s anxious to go. Lot. We won’t 'detain him a minute. Good bye—so glad to have met you. Mind you don’t take cold. Judd. Young man you must hear me! I’m an author. To compile such mighty arguments as will crush the heretic notions now rampant in the world, absolute quiet is necessary, I searched for it through London; I found it as I thought at this place. What is the result? Incessant in¬ terruption ! A glorious opportunity rises to your hand—to-night I am in the vein. Leave me then; hasten away to the shelter of some other domicile; and earn the thanks of thousands of hesitating and doubting mortals. You are convinced I see; set out at once therefore. Tom. Won’t do, old boy ! You talk like a three-volume novel; but its thrown away upon me. This is a dead lock ; and if you wont slope, we must revert to the original scheme. Trial by battle only can decide which is the rightful claimant. What do you say—are you game to fight? Judd , If author I am still English ; and when did an Englishman re¬ fuse to fight in a just cause ? So, although somewhat out of practice, I’ll do my best. Lot. Oh, please don’t. You’ll send me into hysterics if you talk in that bloodthirsty manner, and it takes several people to hold me when I have them badly. Judd. Stay ! I’ve an idea ! [rushes to table and writes. Lot. [to Tom] I wish, Tom dear, jmu’d explain to me what it all means. Tom. [to Lotty] I’m a poor man, Dotty, but I’d give five shillings te any one who would enlighten me. Mrs. Clapper would hardly venture tc let my rooms, when I pay for them regularly, and yet this walking book- case seems as much at home as if he had a perfect right to be here. THE TWO T, J'S. 7 Lot. What's to be done then? Hadn't we better ro? This is like what papa calls a‘Joint Stock Company.' Torn ‘Unlimited—and with power to add to the number.’ So it is ; but I won't be turned out of my own rooms. You see he wants to be quiet now if he wont go, we must kick up an awful row and induce him to seek safety in flight, Do you understand ? Lot. Yes, make it hot for him, as my brother Jack says; but dont let us have any fighting. Tom. All right! [to Judd ] Now, I've waited patiently for that idea you talked about. What is it ? Judd. Would you like to hear? So you shall. It decides this question conclusively. Tom. That’s good—fire away then. Judd. ( reading ) “Practically considering, therefore, the solid basis on ‘which the history of the world's formation is immovably fixed, the rat¬ iocination of enlightened but skeptical detractors only tends to- Tom. I say, couldn't you manage to leave out the hard words, and come to the point at once ? Judd. You interrupt me—it’s all point. Tom. But how will it settle which of us is to keep this room ? Judd. Pshaw, what have I to do with such petty affairs as the proprie¬ torship of a paltry room. That is not my business. Tom. Oh, isn’t it ? I look upon it as particularly mine. Now come, I'll make one more offer; I'll toss you for the privilege of remaining here. Judd. Oh, silly youth ! how can you lend your mind, if you have one, to the consideration of such low pursuits. Tom • You wont? Then to prove to you'that I have a mind, I’ve made it up to stick here like a barnacle. Come Dotty, we’ll make ourselves comfortable, and begin to spend the evening. Judd. This is too bad ! Where is that hypocritical old Jezebel who owns these quiet lodgings ? ( rings bell) However, until I get you turned out, I insist on your keeping an unbroken silence. (sits Lot. Couldn’t we have something to eat Tom ? I'm dreadfully hungry after the journey, and you said we should have supper as soon as we got home. Tom. Supper? Of course we will. Where’s my basket? (produces things from basket) Here you are Dotty—such a scrumptious pork pie! and a bottle of that tip top wine—where did I put the glasses? Oh, here they are! ( helps Lotty to pie and wine) Now, ( points over shoulder to Judd) —just to enliven us, you shall hear the speech I'd have made if we'd had a wedding breakfast, which we didn’t. ( very loud) “Dadies and gentle¬ men—the proud privilege which the ceremony of this morning has con¬ ferred upon me, endows me with eloquence suitable to the occasion-" Lot. Hear, hear! Judd. Will you be quiet? I dont want to hear—I insist on your making less noise. Tom. “Unquestionably man was intended by nature for a marrying animal- Lot. Bravo! Tom. “And having carried out the intention of nature in this respect myself, I earnestly call upon all bachelors present to follow my example.’* Lot. That's a first rate argument, Tom. Why didn’t we have break¬ fast ?—it would have been such fun ! Tom. Never mind Dotty, we’ll be married over again some day on pur¬ pose to have one. Judd, (rises) Now look here ; my disposition is placid—but you may go to far. How do you imagine I can concentrate my mind upon the great work, in the midst of all this din and clatter? I wont have itl Lot. Mr. Judd, are you. a bachelor, Judd. Of course I am! 8 THE TWO T. J’S. Lot. Then shut up work to-night, like a good old thing, and come and listen to Tom. It’s splendid! You’ll be converted from such benighted ideas, and, like the prince in the fairy tale, live happy ever after. Judd. If I could possibly be so demented, young woman, I should hang myself immediately afterwards. Don’t worry me with your frivolous conversation. Let me beg of you not to break the chain of powerful thought which is just now developing in my brain. (sits Tom. (with comic gravity) Not by any means. Lotty, the gentleman is Buffering from something on the brain— (aside) —and he’s getting very tired of us. He’ll give in directly and go, depend upon it. Lot. I’m afraid you’re too sanguine. You see he’s settled down again, as hard at work as ever. Tom. Then we must try another dodge. Enter Detective door R., shutting it. Judd. Who’s this ? Ha, ha 1 more proprietors of these gmei'lodgings! i firmly,believe they are common property! Tom. Hallo, who the deuce are you supposed to be when you are at borne ? Det. (mysteriously) T. J., eh? One o’you gents’ll understand. (Tomputs on Judd’s broad brimmed hat. Judd, (aside) T. J. He must be looking after that old lunatic with the stick, (aloud) If you belong to the asylum, my good man, the man you want left here half an hour ago. Det. Did he ! Thank you, you are kind. The asylum I belong to is anxious to accomodate one o’ you two. Which of you has bolted with a young lady from her father’s house? ’Cos there’s a charge of robbery and abduction to be met, that’s all. Judd. I see, that must be the gentleman. Young ladies are quite out of my line. Det. Gammon! Lot. (aHde) Tom dear, we’re discovered, but I’ll never leave you. Tom. Hush ! here, I’ve a plan to gain time. (Whispers to her. Lot. Yes, yes, I understand ! I’ll do it! Tom. (to detective) I should imagine from what I’ve heard that that is the party you’re in search of. (points to Judd Judd. What ? Det. I guessed he was a sweet toothed ’un ! Judd. Restrain your impertinence sir ! Why don’t you take the young scamp when he’s standing there before you?— (aside) —and leave me qui¬ etly alone at last! Tom. Clever dodge! Trying to put it on to me, are you ? If it’s either of us two, Sargeant, there’s your man ! Det. Well now, look here I I’ll settle it for myself. Which o’you two lives here? Tom 1 Judd i {pointing at each other , together) He does! Det. ’ Eh ? Tom. There’s the proprietor. He’s very positive about it too. I’m only a visitor. Judd. The —the rooms are this person’s. I fear I’ve been a trespasser. Det. Oh that don’t make it plain. Well then, this shall. (£o Lotty) Your husband ’ll get transported, sure* so you’d better wish him a long good bye afore I take him away. Lot. (throws herself in Judd's arms) Oh, my own T. J.! Further con¬ cealment is useless. They will tear ybu from these loving arms, and I shall die. Without you I shall droop and fade. To think my cruel parent should thus blight our happiness, before it had time to blossom! Judd. Hallo, I say 1 This is too much you know! Lot. It is, is it! How can I bear it? Bid him begone. We will not be separated! THETWOT.J'S. 9 Det, There ain't much doubt now, I think. Oh, you sly dog, and you mosfrpersuaded me that it was this gent. Judd. Young woman, I should be loth to inflict bodily injury upon you, but if you don't move, I shall be compelled to drop you on the floor. [Lotty disengages herself ) Listen to me officer ! I am an author, with monas¬ tic feelings towards the other sex. This maiden speaks falsely when she addresses me as “her T. J.” Lot. And has it come to thi3 ? After all your vows of constancy and affection ! Do you desert me at the first adverse breeze, because you fear a prison ? Oh, faithless man, why did I leave my home for you? Det. Don't take on so mum, pr'aps things 'ull turn out better than you expect, {to Judd) Now, then! I'm satisfied j so I’ll thank you to look out. Judd. ( to Tom) Will you speak the truth, you confounded young hyp¬ ocrite? Don't you know this woman's not my wife? Tom. T. J., old fellow, I'd do most anything to serve you, but it's no use. You'd better go quietly. Judd. There's one chance yet. ( rings bell furiously) This old woman will establish my innocence conclusively. Tom. {aside) By Jove ! I never thought of old Mother Clapper. If the tripe supper’s over, I'm in a tight place. Enter Mrs. Clapper—she is aghast at seeing Tom , and the others. Mrs . C. {aside) Well,’ if that Mr. Tom Jarvis hasent been and come back afore his time. Whatever shall I do ? Judd. Now, madam, the opportunity presents itself to you for establish¬ ing innocence and thwarting guilt. Say, is this young woman my wife or the wife of that man opposite ? {points to Tom Mrs. C. Good gracious 1 She certainly isn’t his wife—I can answer for that. Judd, {astonished) Amazing ! They're all alike! Det. I don't want any more proofs. Come, I charge you formally with robbery and abduction. Mrs . C. Robbery ?—it’s horful! Who’s he been robbin’ ? Tom. Musn't be too hard on him, Mrs. Clapper. The robbery only means carrying off a pretty girl like that. Mrs. C. Pretty girl, indeed !—the minx ! How often have you heard me say, Mr. Tom, as no young girls should ever darken my doors; and here, I jist let this swindlin' feller have your rooms for a night or so, till I can put him somewhere else, and he goes and brings a feminine female woman in unbeknowingly. Tom. {aside) That's a pleasant prospect for me, when I begin to unfold my misdeeds to her. {loud knocking door r. Judd. I ought to know that sound. It's the lunatic returned. You’d better open the door. He'll never leave till you do. {Det. opens door Enter Nokes y door r. Lot. {aside) Papa here! Then we arefairty ruined ! Tom. {aside) Lotty's governor! I’ll prepare for Newgate ! Nolces. {to Judd) Well, T. J., you don't look quite so bounceable as you did a while ago. I told you I’d bring your pride down. So you’re there Lotty ? And you could leave me without a word, for such a fellow as this ? Lot. Oh, papa- Nokes. There, I’d rather not hear your excuses—you've made your choice, [aside] But I’m deuced glad to see her again, the little hussy! Tom. [to Nokes) I think sir, if you will listen to me- < Nokes. Shant do any such thing ! I’ve nothing to do with you, and don't want to have. You’re a bad lot, I can see with half an eye. Tom. But- Nokes. Hold your tongue sir I Here, Lotty,— {leads her to Judd) —Since you have done me the honor to marry my daughter, whether 1 would or no- Judd. Thi3 is a conspiracy to palm a wife off upon me. You idiotic 10 •THE TWO T. J’S. specimen of humanity, I haven’t married your daughter, or any other man’s daughter. Nokes. Ha ! villain, and you dare to tell me this to my face ? Det. It ; s all right Mr. Notes. Dont be excited.. You see this is a sulky sort of a chap; lady was in his arms a minute ago. Bless you, he’ll con¬ fess sooner than go to prison. Lot. Oh, papa, it’s all a mistake ! This isn’t my husband ! Det. Not your husband, mum ? Weil, I’m peculiarly blowed! Nokes. [pulls out letter] You took yourself off with T. J.,*and there he stands—plain enough, I think. Tom. If you’ll only hear me, sir, I want to confess to you that I am the T. J. of that letter, and this is my dear little wife, [they kneel ] Please be merciful and forgive us. Mrs. 0 . Gracious heavens I Here’s pretty news 1 Nokes. [to Judd] Then who the devil are you ? Judd„ A much ill used man ! A victim to a swindling landlady and half a dozen maniacs, who have robbed mankind of one whole evening’s work. Nokes. But what’s your name, man? Judd. Fame’s trumpet will one day give it to the world. I am Them- istocles Judd ! Nokes. (to Torn] Then what’s yours. Tom. Tom Jarvis. Nokes. Ha, ha, ha ! I see it all. lY>u both live here, and I’ve made a jolly old fool of myself. Capital joke, I declare—ha, ha, ha! Judd. Joke! Not even a case of weak intellect—he has no intellect at all. Mrs. C. I’ll put a good face on it before they begin to ask questions. [aloud'] Mr. Tom, I congratulate you and this lady, [to Nokes] They are a interestin couple now, aint they sir ? Nokes . Yes, I suppose I must forgive them, [takes their hands] We’ll have a glorious supper to wind up the mistake, and drink success to the two T. J’s. CURTAIN. To Our Customers. Amatuer companies frequently have trouble in procuring Plays well adapted to their wants, frequently ordering perhaps five dollar’s worth in single copies, before anything can be found suitable. All this can be done away with. Our catalogue embrace plays suitable for any and all companies, and if our friends will write to us, stating the re¬ quirements of their companies, there need be no trouble in this line at least. If a tem¬ perance society wants plays, we have something for them. If a company wants some¬ thing which is very funny we can suit them. In fact we have dramas, farces, tragedies and comedies which will suit you. Enclose 15 cents per copy for as many sample copies as you may need, and we guarantee to suit you, if you will state the size of your company, whether best adapted to the serious or funny. Give us a trial at least. A. D . AMES, Pub., Clyde, Ohio NEW PLAYS PRICE 15 CENTS EACH. Here’s an afterpiece that will catch ’em! Just out— entitled, That Awful Carpet-Bag. An original farce, in three scenes, three male and three female characters. This is an ethiopian farce with an immense nigger—be sure and get this one, entitled, THE BEST CURE. A darkey servant has an imaginary illness, and the way he is cured will keep the aundience in an uproar for thirty minutes. A Domestic Drama with a good moral—entitled, GERTIE’S VINDICATION. In two acts. Three male and three female characters. JACK , THE HE GKO, IS IMMENSE! KATY , THE IBISH GIKL, A GOOD CHAKACTEBI ——s- *1 Order a copy—It will play 1 1-2 hours, and with an after- piece will make an enjoyable evening’s entertainment for an audience. This sketch i3 a stunner! Funny? Don’t mention it! It will make an audience laugh more and harder than any sketch written in years—entitled, MIDNIGHT COLIC. A LAUGHABLE 6KETCH. A BED-BOOM SCENE! MUSTABD HAS TAKEN A BISEl “WHEBE IS THE FLOVB?” JUST PUBLISHED! A SPARKLING COMEDY . Adapted from the French for M’lle Marie Aimee, by Newton Chisnell, an actor and author well known in the dramatic profession. OBDER A COPY. It has the original cast of characters as produced for the first time on any stage, at San Francisco, Cal., un¬ der Mr. Chisnell’s personal management. ODDER AND READ A COPY—ONLY 15c. Time of Representation—2 hours. -SYNOPSIS.- * -^ Act I.—A French cafe—“Cigars, beer, ham sandwiches !”—The man with the toothache—Mrs. Johnson, who has “smelled a mouse,” in search of her husband, who finds it difficult to love only one woman—Adonis Montague, the 14th street masher—Mr. Johnson flirts with the veiled lady—Lifts the veil, “my wife!”—The agree¬ ment, “a tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye.” “If I catch you, look out!”—Mr. Johnson waiting for Evelena, is discovered by Mrs. Johnson—“Caught!”—“Remember the agreement!”—Mr. Johnson’s horror of what his wife may do, as she is a French woman—The assistance of Montague, etc. Act II.—Home of Mr. Johnson—Return of Mrs. Johnson, a des¬ perate woman—Mr. Johnson’s arrival with peace offerings—“Noth¬ ing but a full confession.”—His confession—“She was only a pock-marked music scholar,” and swears they only got as far as “do, re, me, fa, sol, la, si, do, do, si, la, sol, fa, me, re, do.”—A cyclone in the bedroom—Adonis Montague arouses Mr. Johnson’s jealousy— Medical students arrive—“Mr. Johnson!”—“Scoot, brother, scoot!” Mr. Johnson locks his wife in the house, not aware of the students being hid in the rooms, and departs fisr the ball, as he .leads the orchestra—Mrs. Johnson and students escape through window and start for the ball. ^ Act III.—Dr. Boliver’s ball—A mistake of Flip’s, the usher. Arrival of Mrs. Don’t-bother-me, New York Clipper and the Water- mellon brothers—The dance—Mr. Johnson recognizes Mrs. Doifit- bother-me as his wife—“No more music unless she stops dancing!” She does not know that “shabby fiddler”—“Put him out, he is drunk!”—Out he goes—Return of Mr. Johnson disguised as a waiter—The threat—Mrs. Johhson angry and decides to run away— Mr. Johnson relates a funny story of a repentant lobster—He at¬ tempts suicide—He is forgiven—Advice of a repentant lobster. Ames’ Publishing Co., Lock Box 102. GJAfiiJtSl. OHIO. SHEW MILITARY ALLEGORY! SPY DP ATLILNTil A Grand Military Allegory in 6 acts, by A. D. Ames and C. G. Bartley, 14 male, 3 female characters, with as many supernumerary ladies and gents as the stage may afford room for. This great play is founded on incidents which actually occured dur¬ ing the war of the Rebellion—it introduces Ohio's brave and gallant McPherson—;the actual mannner of his capture and death is shown. It abounds with most beautiful tableaux, drill, marches, scenes upon the battle field, in Andersonville, etc., and is pronounced by press and public, the most successful military play ever produced. G. A. R. Posts, Military Companies and other organizations, who may wish gomething which will draw, should produce it. It may not be out of place to add that this play with the incidents of the death of the gallant McPherson, was written with the full oonsent of the General's brother, R. B. McPherson, since’dead, who fully approved of it. PRICE 25 CENTS PER COPY. HAL HAZARD; OR. THE FEDERAL SPY. A MILITARY DRAMA OF THE LA1E WAR OF TEE REBELLION , IN FOUR ACTS. BY ERED. G. ANDREWS. This drama is a great success, and is published now for the first time, from the author's original manuscript. There has been a demand for a play which could be used by Grand Army Posts, Military Companies, etc, which would be effective, and yet not difficult to represent. This want, Hal Hazard will supply. It has eight male characters and three female. A few soldiers both U. S. and C. S., may be used, but there is no elaborate drills or difficult stage business to try the patience of the manager. It takes from 1% to 2 hours to present it. The leading character is a double one—“George Clarannon," who assumes the character of “Old Hal." a very deaf and shrewd old man, who is equally at home in the Confederate or Federal Camp. As the Spy he is always on hand at the proper time, and always comes out ahead in all places where his services are needed. The other characters are all good consisting of a captain and lieutenant in the U. S. Army, and may be omitted if desired. There is also an excellent Leading Lady, Old Wo¬ man and Negro Comedy. Woman. Those who order and produce this play will be more than pleased.—Price 25c. An entirely original Allegorical Drama of the civil war in the United States, entitled, THE DUTCH RECRUIT; OR, THE BLUE AND GrREY. BY J . T. VIEGARD. All rights to this popular drama have been purchased of it's auther, and it is now published in book form complete for the first time. It was produced season after season by the original proprietor with unbounded success, and was the means of re¬ plenishing many G. A. R. treasuries, which were running low. It will be found easy to put upon the stage, full of thrilling and startling situar tions, hair breadth escapes, military movements, prison scenes, scenes full of pathos and tears, others in which the Dutchman and Irishman will convulse the listeners with laughter. Every character is good, being sfropgly drawn, and worthy the talent of the best actors. Price 25 cents per copy. YES, WE THINK IT WILL PLEASE YOU, THIS NEW DRAMA ENTITLED Brae; the Punr or House G-irlT It will please your audience at least if it is presented well. The character of BRAG is very much like “FANCHON THE CRICKET,”—is replete with RICH AND SPARKLING DIALOGUE, FUNNY AND TELLING SITUATIONS, DARE-DEVIL EXPLOITS, ETC., and worthy the best talents of the best ladies. The beauty of the play is, that it is entirely original, the acts and scenes not being found in a dozen other plays, but only this one. The leading man, Bob Wilder, is a gentloenan of leisure, who be cpmes smitten with Brae, and in order to play the.part, should be able to sing and perhaps dance too—although it is not positively necessary. There is a very funny old maid’s part, which if played well will certainly “bring down the house.” All the other characters 3males, 2 females, are telling ones. To please the average audience of to-day, a play must be selected with a nice construction of sentiment and mirth. This play fills the requirements we believe. Send for specimen copy and see if it is not just what you want. Time of playing 2 hours. Price 15 cents NO CHARGE IS MADE FOR ITS USE-PERFORMANCE FREE. NEW MILITARY DRAMA! THE CONFEDERATE SPY. BY ELLSWORTH STEEDMAN. SEND 15 CENTS FOR SAMPLE COP.’. If you want broad fun! fun that will make you laugh and snort! fairly get up and howl and hold your sides!—buy a copy of BERT RICHARD'S FARCE-COMEDY, ENTITLED □ UFID’S ^ □APEHS. A ttend to this at once and live longer and happier. Pricel5c FUN! FUN!! FUN!!! THE FUNNIEST COMEDY YET — JUST PUBLISHED , ENTITLED ^ GAPTURED; ^ -OR,- The Old Maid’s Triumph. Four Acts—Four Male, Five Female Characters. Scenery Easily Managed. Costumes Modern. Characters all Good. Telling Situations. Susan Tabitha (the old Maid) takes the Audience by Storm, as she tries to marry every man she meets; if he don’t propose she does; final success of Susan. If you want a play that is full of fun, and sure to please you, order a copy of CAPTURED. PBICE 15 CENTS . Act I.—Home of the Windchester’s—Frank Westfield—Arrival of the ‘‘Old Maid” ; “I’m tickled een-a-most to death to see you!” “Mother Goose’s Melodies”—Susan’s experience in the stage coach. “Only twenty-four, brother.”—Christopher Columbus! where am I going?”—“I see you, Frankie.”—Susan’s opinion of Jane.—-Polly- Amusing love scene between Susan and Frank Westfield—his aston¬ ishment and terror, as she faints in his arms.—Tableau. Act II.—Susan’s explanation.—“Slang Debolishers • Union”— “You’d better begin at home!”—A widower—“Good land! if I could not get something better than a widower, I wouldn’t feel fit to soar to the land of milk and honey!”—Sam Sly, Polly’s lover, who is a widower.—“If he does not propose,! will!”—Susan and Sam Sly.—Love scene between Polly and Sly, which Susan discovers. Her anger, and fall.—Susan and Sly loose their wigs. Act III.—Joshua Pratt.—Susan’s fear of men.—“Help! help!” Discovers Joshua—Eidiculous love scene between Susan and Joshua. “There’s nothing half so sweet in life, as love’s young dream.’’-Rats. “Help! thieves!”—“It might run up my leg!”—The rescue— Susan announces her engagement and determination to go home and get married.—The departure. Act IY.—Home of Susan Tabitha—Sallie-^-Discovery of Joshua’s poverty—Susan’s anger and disappointment—“Can we get up ?”-Susan cuffs Joshua’s ears—Dinner—“Can we eat dinner?”—Susan relates her experience to Sallie—Telegram—Arrival and cool reception of Charles Westfield and wife—Joshua sleeps—Susan knocks over his chair, pulls his hair—A bank check—Susan’s promise.—Happy ending. IT WILL DBA W AS WELL AS UNCLE TOM’S CABIN—A DRAMA OF THE SOUTH. JUST PUBLISHED. -- MILLIE, THE QUADROON —OR, OUT OF BONDAGE. A DRAMA IN FIVE ACTS , R7 LIZZIE MAY ELWYN, AUTHOR OF DOT; THE MINER’S DAUGHTER . ORDER A COPY-ONLY 15 CENTS. ACT I—Scene 1st.—Home of Fred Grover—Priscilla, Fred’s old maid sister—Fred’s return from the South—His present to Pris¬ cilla, of Gyp, a “little nigger”—Gyp da aces—Millie’s horror of slavery—Gyp’s happiness—Song and dance. ACT II.—Scene 1st.—News of cousin Charlie, an old lover of Millie’s—Gyp and Siah’s soda water, an amusing scene—Priscilla, her horror of being kissed by “a man”—Millie vindicates herself by revealing the secret of her life to Charlie, which is heard by Daville —Gyp—Meeting of Millie and Daville—Daville reveals Millie’s se¬ cret to Isadore, his betrothed—Comic scene between Gyp and Siah. ACT III.— Scene 1st.—Evil designs of Daville and Isadore— Millie, the child of old Harriet, the slave—Meeting of Isadore and Harriet, her threat, “You are my child”—Isadore attempts her mur¬ der by pushing her over the clitf; she is rescued by Daville—Isadore reveals her love for Fred, which Millie and Charlie overhear—Millie’s anguish and final blow—“No wife, a slave!”—Quarrel of Daville and Charlie—Isadore’s search for the body ©f old Harriet. Scene 2d.— Escape of Charlie—A piece of Priscilla’s mind—Her promise to Millie — Oath of Isadore—Millie’s flight. Scene 3d. — Daville gives an account of the shooting and supposed flight of Millie with Charlie— Priscilla on her mettle—Supposed suicide of Milllie—A LAPSE OF SEVEN YEARS. ACT IV.—Scene 1st.—Daville accuses Isadore, now Mrs. Grover, of Harriet’s murder—Millie, as Sister Agnes, the French governess— Return of Charlie—Fred’s anger and Priscilla’s interference. Scene 2d.—Charlie disguised as old Nathan—Millie’s letter found which explains her flight—Fred’s remorse—Daville and Isadore recognize Millie—Their plot against her discovered by old Nathan. ACT V.—Scene 1st.—Southern Plantation—Priscilla discovers Sister Agnes, as Millie—Her anger at being kissed by a nigger— Daville threatens Isadore with slavery—Attempted murder of Pris¬ cilla—Scene between Gyp and Siah. Scene 2d.—Millie a slave— Daville offers her marriage—Millie tied to the whipping post—Her rescue by Gyp. Scene 3d.—Millie and Gyp in the swamp—At¬ tempted capture—Rescued by Charlie—Old Harriet clears the mys¬ tery of Millie and Isadore’s birth—“There is but one way left, death”—Arrest of Daville—Death of Charlie—Reconciliation of Fred and Millie, who is freed from^bondage. ii mes 1 Plays— ContinuBii, N °* FARCES CONTINUED. 65 An Unwelcome Return. 3 1 31 A Pet o the Public. 4 2 21 A Rom ant c Attachment. 3 3 123 A Thrilling Item. 3 1 20 A Ticket of Leave. 3 2 175 Betsey B iker. 2 2 8 Better Half. 5 2 86 Black vs. White.4 2 22 Captain Smith. 3 o 84 Cheek Will Win. 3 (' : 25 Cupi s Capers... 4 4 49 Der Two Surprises. 1 1 72 Deuce is in Him. 3 1 19 Did 1 Dream it. 4 3 42 Dx.rms ic Felicity. 1 1 188 Dutch Pr /.e Fi h'er. 3 0 220 D; ichv vs. Nigger. 3 0 148 Eh? W at Did You Say. 3 1 218 Everybody Astonished. 4 0 224 Fooling with the Wrong Man 2 1 233 Freezing a Mother-in-Law... 2 1 154 Fun in a Post Oflice. 4 2 184 Family Discipline. 0 1 iU9 Goose with the Golden Eggs.. 5 3 13 Give Me My Wife. 3 3 66 Ilans the Dutch J. P. 3 1 116 Hash . 4 2 120 IT. M. S. Plum. 1 1 103 How Sister Paxey got her Child Biptizd. 2 1 50 How She ha.- Own Way. 1 3 140 How He Popped the Quest’n. 1 1 74 How t Tame M-in-Law. 4 2 35 [low Stout Your Getting. 5 2 1-7 In the Wrong Box.3 0 15 In the Wrong Clothes. 5 3 11 John Smith.5 3 99 Jumbo Jum. 4 3 82 Kill n.: T me. 1 1 182 Kittie’ Wedding Cake. 1 3 :27 Lick Skillet Wedding. 2 2 228 Lnuderbnch’s Little Surprise 3 0 106 Lodgings for Two.3 0 139 Matrimonial Bliss..... 1 1 231 Match ora Mother-in-Law.. 2 2 235 More Blunders than one. 4 3 69 Mother’- Fool.6 1 1 ' Mr. and Mrs. Pringle. 7 4 158 Mr. Hudson's Tiger Hunt. 1 1 23 My Heart’s in Highlands. 4 3 208 y Prec ous Betsey. 4 4 212 My Turn Next. 4 3 32 M Wife’.' Relations. 4 4 186 My Day and Now-a-Days. 0 1 44 Obedience. 1 2 244 Old Clothes. 3 0 33 On the Sly.3 2 246 Ot cilo.. 4 1 57 Paddy Miles’ Boy.5 2 217 Paten Washing Machine.4 1 165 Persecuted Dutchman.6 3 195' Poor Pilicody. 2 3 258 Prof.Bones’Latest Invention 5 0 NO. M F. 159 Quiet Family. . 4 4 171 Rough Diamond. , 4 3 180 Ripples.. .. 2 0 48 Sch aps. , 1 1 138 Sewing Circle of P riod. .. 0 5 ‘115 S. H. A. M. Pinafore. . 3 3 55 Somebody’s Nobody. . 3 2 248 Sports on a Lark. . 3 0 232 Stage Struck Yankee. . 4 2 238 Strawberry Sh rtcake. . 2 0 i37 Taking the Census. . 1 1 40 Th t Mysterious B’die. , 2 2 245 Ticket Taker... . 3 0 38 T e Bewitched Closet. . 5 2 131 The Cigarette. . 4 2 .01 Tiie €> miiig Man. .. 3 1 167 Turn H m Out. .. 3 2 68 T‘ie Sham Prof ssor. .. 4 0 54 The Two T. J’s. .. 4 2 253 Ihe Best Cure. . 4 1 28 Ihirty-three Next Birthday .. 4 2 142 Tit for Tat. .. 2 1 213 Vermont Wool Dealer. .. 5 3 151 Wanted a Husband.. .. 2 1 5 When Women Weep. 3 2 56 Wooing Under Difficultie .... .. 5 3 70 Which wiii he Marry. „ 2 8 135 Widowe ’s Tri ds. .. 4 5 147 Waki g Him Up. .. 1 2 155 Why they Joined the Re¬ becca-. .. 0 4 111 Yankee Duelist. . 3 1 157 Ya kee Peddler. ,. 7 3 204 ETHIOPIAN FARCES. Academy of Stars. „ 6 0 15 An Unhappy Pair. .. 1 1 172 Black Shoemaker. .. 4 2 98 Black Statue. . 4 2 222 Colored Senators. . 3 0 2L4 Chops. Cuff’s Luck. . 3 0 145 .. 2 1 190 Crimps Tr p. .. 5 0 249 Double Electi n. ,. 9 1 27 Fetter Lane to Gravesend... .. 2 0 230 Hamlet the Dainty. . 6 1 153 Haunted House. .. 2 0 24 Handy Andy. .. 2 0 236 Hypochondriac The . . 2 0 247 Incompatibility ot Temper.. .. 1 2 77 Joe’s Vis t. .. 2 1 88 Mischievous Nigger.. .. 4 2 256 Midnight C<»iic.. .. 2 1 128 Musical D rkey. .. 2 0 259 Nobody’s Moke. .. 5 2 90 No Cure No Pay. .. 3 1 61 Not as Deaf as He Seems_ .. 3 0 234 Old Dad’s Cabin . .. 2 1 150 Old Pompey. .. 1 1 109 Other People’s Children. ... 3 2 134 Pomp’s Pranks. .. 2 0 177 Quarrel ome Servants. ... 3 0 95 Rooms to Let.. ... 2 1 107 School.. ... 5 0 JimES* Plays—Continued, NO. M. F. ETHIOPIAN FARCES—CONT’UED. 133 Seeing Boating.3 0 179 Sham Doctor. 3 3 94 16,000 Years Ago.3 0 25 Sport with a Sportsman. 2 0 92 Stage Struck Darkey. 2 1 241 Struck by Lightning. 2 2 10 Stocks Up, Stocks Down. 2 0 64 That Boy Sam.3 1 252 That Awful Carpet Bag.. 3 3 122 The Select School... 5 0 118 The Popcorn Man. 3 1 6 The Studio.3 0 108 Those Awful Boys. 5 0 4 Twain’s Dodging.3 1 197 Tricks.5 2 198 Uncle Jeif.5 2 170 U. S. Mail. 2 2 216 Vice Versa.3 1 NO. M. F. 206 Villkens and Dinah.4 1 210 Virginia Mummy. 6 1 203 Who Stole the Chickens. 1 1 205 William Tell. 4 0 156 Wig-Maker and His Servants 3 0 GUIDE BOOKS. 17 Hints on Elocution. 130 Hints to Amateurs. CANTATA. 215 On to Victory. 4 6 TABLEAUX. 250 Festival of Days. PANTOMIME* 260 Cousin John’s Album. MAKE YOUR OWN WIGS! PREPARED WOOL. PREPARED WOOL IS AN ARTICLE THAT EVERY ONE, WITHOUT ANY EXPERIENCE, CAN MAKE INTO WIGS ! BEARDS! MUSTACHES ETC., ETC. AT VERY LITTLE COST, AND WILL BE SURE TO GIVE SATISFACTION. PRICE 50 CENTS PER OUNCE. Address, AMES’ PUBLISHING CO., LOCK BOX 102. CLYDE, OHIO. Bi__rE