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 GUARDS 
 HUSSARS AND INFANTRY. 
 
 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 HARRY AUSTIN 
 
 AN OFFICER. 
 
 Then wild as cloud, or stream, or gale, 
 
 Flow on, flow unconfined, my Tale !" 
 
 Mahmion. « 
 
 IN THREE VOLUMES. 
 VOL. I. 
 
 LONDON 
 SAUNDERS AND OTLEY, CONDUIT STREET. 
 
 1838.
 
 PRINTHU BY B. BEN8LBY.
 
 ^53 
 
 LO 
 
 CD 
 
 c-J 
 
 <3 
 
 
 TO 
 
 LIEUTENANT-GENERAL 
 
 THE RIGHT HON. 
 
 SIR RICHARD HU8SEY VIVIAN, BART. 
 
 COLONEL OF THE ROYAL DRAGOONS, 
 
 MASTER - GENERAL OF THE ORDNANCE, 
 G. C. B., G. C. H., ^c. 6cc. iic, 
 
 WHOSE GALLANTRY AS A SOLDIER, AND 
 
 WHOSE INESTIMABLE EXCELLENCES 
 
 AS A FRIEND, ARE SO HIGHLY 
 
 APPRECIATED BY ALL 
 
 WHO HAD^THE HONOUR OF SERVING IN 
 
 THE HUSSAR BRIGADE, 
 
 THESE VOLUMES, 
 ARE MOST RESI'E( TFL LLY DEDICATED.
 
 GUARDS 
 HUSSARS AND INFANTRY. 
 
 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 HARRY AUSTIN, 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 There stands^ or rather did standi at the extre- 
 mity of Claverton DoA\'ns, one of those venerable 
 looking mansions now so seldom to be met with 
 in any part of England — the ancient style of 
 architecture having long ceased to be employed 
 in renovating the mouldering fabrics, to make way 
 for the more modem advantages of space and 
 light, in place of the low-i-oofed, gloomy apart - 
 
 VOL. I. B
 
 ADVEXTI^RES OF 
 
 nionts therein our ancestors delighted to en- 
 sconce themselves. 
 
 At the time^ however, of which I am now 
 writing, Selby Hall still continued to rear its 
 high gable ends and Gothic arches in the centre 
 of a spacious park, which^ extending to a consi- 
 derable distance, visibly demonstrated the care 
 and attention bestowed on the property, and the 
 interest taken in its prosperity by a resident 
 owner. 
 
 A broad and deep flight of massive steps, 
 flanked on either side by the curiously carved 
 balustrade, led to the Hall, the walls of which 
 were decorated with many an insignia of sylvan 
 warfare, arranged in quaint devices between the 
 gloomy and forbidding-looking full-length por- 
 traits of the former proprietors of the soil. 
 
 Most ingeniously had the architect contrived 
 so to encumber the building with useless pas- 
 sages, and elaborately carved staircases, that
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 3 
 
 little space remained for the actual comfort and 
 accommodation of the occupants ; and^ save the 
 small glimmering of light struggling through 
 the apertures intended for windows, and hardly 
 more than sufficient to point out the sombre 
 appearance of the wainscotting, the owner of 
 the mansion might be said to have dwelt in 
 perpetual dimness. 
 
 Nevertheless, I was fond of the old Hall ; and 
 now, even at this distance of time, I call to mind 
 the various grotesque figures thickly distributed 
 throughout the dwelling, with a feeUng some- 
 what akin to the recollection of friends wdth 
 whose faces we were quite famihar in our child- 
 hood, but who, having preceded us in our 
 mortal career, have long since reached the final 
 SToal, at which all animate as well as inanimate 
 things must, in due course of time, arrive. 
 
 In this abode was I ushered into the world ; 
 and, having had the fortune to make my appear- 
 
 B 2
 
 4 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 ance as' the heir, my entre occasioned more 
 rejoicing than, in all probability, would have 
 been made manifest had I brought up the rear 
 of a long list of little brothers and sisters. But 
 it ^^as decreed that no further addition of a 
 similar kind shoUld be made to my father's 
 establishment — fate having prohibited any rival 
 from sharing the whippings and sweetmeats 
 unsparingly lavished during the first years of 
 my childhood. 
 
 A lengthened detail of infantine rewards and 
 corrections is the most inordinately tiresome 
 infliction upon earth ; even the sayings and 
 doings of one of the precocious of the genus I 
 hold in absolute abhorrence, when employed as 
 an endless theme of conversation. 
 
 Such being my opinion, it were ungrateful on 
 my part, did I cease to admire the stoical firm- 
 ness and patient endurance with which certain 
 old ladies of my mothei^'s acquaintance were in
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 5 
 
 the almost daily habit of listening to a detail of 
 my extraordinary quickness, — by illustrating 
 which, nothing was made apparent save the 
 incomparable thickness of my skull and propor- 
 tionate vacuity within. 
 
 But, before I pass over these — as my mother s 
 antiquated friends were wont to term them — 
 "interesting days of childhood/^ I would fain 
 issue my veto against a statement commonly 
 asserted, and as commonly received, touching 
 the felicity, or otherwise, of the period in 
 question. 
 
 Now, it happened that, within a short distance 
 from the Hall, dwelt a Reverend gentleman, 
 portly in person, pompous in manner ; but, at 
 heart, I verily believe, an excellent man. Many 
 and often were the times this worthy di\dne 
 honoured \^'ith his presence the dining-room of 
 my respected sire ; and so congenial to his taste 
 did he find my father's conversation and my
 
 6 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 father's dinners — the latter digested with as 
 much reUsh as the former — that the period of 
 absence between his visitations seldom exceeded 
 three or four days. Such being the fi-equency 
 of his visits^ it was impossible that so important 
 an individual as myself should altogether escape 
 his notice ; on the contrary, he invariably ac- 
 costed me in a slow, sonorous tone, his great 
 fat hand resting on my head, to the effect that 
 I should never enjoy more unalloyed felicity on 
 earth than I then possessed ; and promised me 
 a continuance thereof upon my arrival at school. 
 If the Reverend gentleman really preached as he 
 elt, his scholastic days must indeed have passed 
 in the quintessence of tranquillity, since, to have 
 exceeded the ease and quiet of his after Hfe — at 
 least, when luxuriating as Rector of Selby — 
 would have been a matter of no small difficulty, 
 indeed. 
 
 Be this however as it may ; I found in after
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 7 
 
 days many epochs more pregnant with agree- 
 able associations and pleasureable sensations 
 than I remember to have experienced at Eton, 
 when watching, in an anxiety of anticipation, 
 the hand of the huge clock over the cloisters, 
 wending its certain way to the awful completion 
 of the twelfth hour; a period not a little 
 di'eaded by all those miserable dehnquents 
 whose names would then be found inscribed in 
 that much feared and obnoxious document, 
 yclept, " the Bill/^ I have often wondered why 
 the term *^^Bill,^^ was given to the scrap of 
 paper whereon the names of those destined to 
 offer up their persons for the exercise of the 
 head master's ingenuity were inscribed ; neither 
 have I up to this period been enabled to solve 
 the problem further than by adopting the sup- 
 position that, as the word ^* BilP' conveyed the 
 most disagreeable and unwelcome association 
 of ideas to the understanding of the preceptor
 
 8 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 SO (lid he hope by affixing it to the document 
 connected with the extreme penalty for juve- 
 nile offences, that it might increase the horrors, 
 and multiply the fearful excitement in the ima- 
 ginations of those committed to his charge. 
 Whether my conjecture on this point be right, 
 or otherwise, I cannot tell ; but certain it is I 
 then imbibed a most implacable hatred, not 
 only to the name, but to all its concomitant 
 evils, whether as at Eton, exemphfied in the 
 rapid evolutions of a birchen rod ; or, in after 
 days, by the still more dreaded importunities 
 of a troublesome creditor. But to my- tale. 
 
 At no great distance from Selby, stood the 
 red brick abode of Sir Frederick Distowe, 
 raising its , iU-formed and unsightly structure, 
 amid an extent of wood, the felhng of which 
 appeared to be the principal occupation that 
 employed the Baronet's time, whenever he con- 
 descended to visit his neglected mansion. As
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. V 
 
 this vrortliy personage will^ but too frequently, 
 appear as one of the leading characters in the 
 histoiy of my (not altogether) uneventful career; 
 and^ sincC;, through his instrumentahty, much, 
 -that was either good or e\il in my disposition, 
 has been called into existence ; which, without 
 some powerM stimulant, might for ever have 
 lain dormant, — I will briefly endeavour to sketch 
 the portrait of this individual, unbiassed by any 
 of those feehngs which, as my narrative will 
 disclose, his every act and duplicit}^ towards me 
 were well calculated to arouse. 
 
 Years on years have rolled by, since the 
 existence of the period I am now recaihng to 
 memory ; and here, at this distant date, when 
 many of those of whom I ^Tite have long since 
 passed away, I trust it will not be supposed 
 that an unforgiving spirit of revenge, or deeply 
 seated feeling of aversion, has, even in the most 
 remote degree, biassed my opinion in describing 
 
 B 5
 
 10 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 scenes which I have endeavoured to pourtray. 
 Those feehngs and passions, to which I have 
 alluded, have long since ceased to exist; and 
 though the circumstances which called them 
 into play may remain vividly impressed on the 
 recollection, the chief actors, through whose 
 instrumentality they were created, are now 
 slumbering peacefully in the dust; while I — 
 a toihng and way-worn wanderer, must, in the 
 common course of nature, speedily expect to be 
 called likewise. With me, the fieiy blood of 
 youth has cooled down to the calm and steady 
 pulse of old age ; the dreamy joys of childhood, 
 and the bright and glorious anticipations of 
 manhood, have each in their turn held me 
 captive ; and have in succession faded away — 
 seldom cHmbing beyond the threshhold of the 
 ideal structure which existed but in my own 
 too sanguine expectations. 
 
 Those who have wronged me, or through
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 11 
 
 whose machinations I have been compelled to 
 taste the bitter cup of misery, I freely, and from 
 the innermost recesses of my heart wilhngly, 
 forgive; and may those whom I have injured 
 extend the same pardon towards myself, and 
 with like sincerity and truth as that which I 
 proffer towards them. My motive in trans- 
 cribing these memoirs is unshackled and apart 
 from any desire of holding up to animadversion 
 the deeds of others; and the candour with 
 which I have expatiated on my own inaccura- 
 cies, as well as pointed out the foibles of my co- 
 temporaries, will, I trust, exonerate me from so 
 heavy a charge: what that motive is I may, 
 perchance, if my readers so will it, have a futiu-e 
 opportunity of promulgating ; but, at present, 
 it cannot pass my lips, neither may my pen 
 betray the secret, be it what it may : for the 
 time being it must remain impenetrably hidden. 
 Although the mansion of Sir Frederick
 
 12 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Distowe was within a short drive of Selby ; and 
 notwithstanding the great paucity of gentle- 
 men's seats then existing in our neighbourhood, 
 the intercourse between the two famihes seldom 
 extended beyond the common forms of pohte- 
 ness, and the usual and necessary foiTnal ex- 
 change of gastronomic civilities, which have 
 ever been held in England as the surest way to 
 afford gratification, or bestow a compliment, 
 upon either a friend or a stranger. From these 
 periodical dinners, I was of course excluded ; 
 but, when about eight or nine years old, I well 
 remember the tall, handsome figure of the . 
 Baronet who, at that time, could not have 
 numbered more than five-and- thirty years. 
 
 The pursuits of my father, whether for 
 amusement or study, were so diametrically 
 opposite to those of his neighbour that, had it 
 not been for those occasional interruptions to 
 their estrangement, and which were apparently
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 13 
 
 continued for no other reason than that each 
 seemed loath to be the first to break a long- 
 cemented^ though slender bond of amity, I do 
 not conjecture either party would have looked 
 upon the annihilation of the custom with any 
 feeling approaching to regret. 
 
 From my earhest recollection, I had an in- 
 stinctive dislike to my father's guest ; but for 
 what reason it would, perhaps, be difficult to 
 state : true it is, his name was not unfrequently 
 uttered, and nearly as often in connection with 
 some tale of mysteiy or evil ; but, whether true 
 or not, I was then too young to have understood 
 their purport, even had the wondrous accounts 
 been better authenticated. Still, there were 
 stories continually in circulation, reprehending 
 the dissolute style of hfe in which he was said 
 to luxuriate. His house was the receptacle for 
 the idle and profligate; and it was whispered 
 that, when once within the toils of the wilv
 
 14 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Baronet, it were difficult to escape from his 
 meshes, without considerable loss, both of cha- 
 racter and fortune. 
 
 Married at an early age to a beautiful and 
 highly gifted woman, it was possible that the 
 follies of his boyhood might have given place to 
 more rational and less objectionable pursuits ; 
 but, as yet, he had not tasted dissipation to 
 satiety: and his being an abject slave to that 
 contemptible weakness, an inordinate desire of 
 adulation, led him to squander his wealth and 
 commit those excesses in the Metropolis, where 
 his depraved and vitiated taste could most easily 
 find objects willing and ready to administer to 
 his every caprice. Meanwhile, his lovely bride 
 was left in solitude, to mourn over the extinc- 
 tion of the bright dreams of feUcity her imagi- 
 nation conjured up in far happier, though not 
 long distant, days. 
 
 Sometimes, indeed, when thwarted in the
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 15 
 
 execution of some favourite project ; or perhaps 
 disgusted for the moment^ at the continuance 
 of his unprincipled career^ he would speed down 
 to his ill-fated wife, and vent his spleen and ill 
 humour on the only being to whom he was an 
 object of affection and sohcitude. 
 
 From her hps no murmur, no complaint, was 
 heard — alilvc regardless of every passing occur- 
 rence, her mind would dwell with a gloomy 
 pleasure on each trivial circumstance of her 
 hearths hapless attachment ; until — finding every 
 effort ineffectual to obtain that love which she 
 once believed herself to have possessed, — she 
 sunk into an untimely grave, the \'ictim of a 
 heartless and unprincipled sensualist. 
 
 Far from being touched ^^ith remorse, when 
 the total absence of every feehng of common 
 decency or humanity had shortened the mise- 
 rable existence of Lady Distowe, his thoughts 
 were wholly engrossed with plans and specula-
 
 16 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 tions, as to the quickest and most effectual mode, 
 of repairing the great inroads his extravagant 
 and hcentious career had made on his fortune. 
 One method, to attain this much to be desired 
 end, was speedily put in practice. His Myr- 
 midons and companions in profligacy hunted, 
 with the tenacity of bloodhounds, each wealthy 
 novice who annually appeared upon town. An 
 introduction was speedily sought, — an acquaint- 
 ance as readily commenced, — a friendship (as 
 Hotspur says " Heaven save the mark") ce- 
 mented — and some trifling civiUty officiously 
 and pertinaciously thrust upon the victim; until 
 he soon fancied himself under heavy obligations 
 to his kind Mentor ; and, in fact, found his new 
 and disinterested friend so pre-eminently useful 
 that his presence and advice became of the first ^ 
 importance on all occasions. Then comes the 
 principle partner in the oft - practised plot, 
 another introduction, — an invitation to shoot or
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. l7 
 
 hunt over his property, proposed probably in a 
 moment of excitement, while flushed with wine ; 
 and as readily, and perhaps almost unconsciously, 
 accepted ; then the hazarded opinion touching 
 the distance of the land of Promise from Town. 
 Quickly the disputants wax eager, and, energetic 
 with well-feigned interest on the subject, each 
 offers to back his assertion with a heavy bet ; 
 books are produced — notes taken — and all is 
 accomphshed, save the final decision on the 
 knotty point. When and how is the affair to 
 come off? Why not now ? What time so good 
 as the present ? Nothing to keep them in town. 
 The seiTants can follow. Another bottle, and 
 the carriage is at the door — no time is given for 
 reflection. In a few hours the portal of the fatal 
 mansion receives its \dctim; and every allure- 
 ment that can fascinate and enchain the sense 
 is sedulously administered, till, in spite of each 
 ghttering bait, the victim at length feels the
 
 18 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 arrow enter into his soul ; and the poor wretch 
 wakes to a consciousness of his folly and his 
 guilt, aggravated with the knowledge that the 
 greater part_, or probably the whole^ of his 
 worldly substance has passed from his posses- 
 sion for ever.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 19 
 
 CHAPTER 11. 
 
 Days of childhood have their bitterness^ as well 
 as those in after hfe ; and my first introduction 
 to sorrow was occasioned by my fathei^s death. 
 Though too young fully to appreciate the whole 
 extent of my loss, I was far from being insensible 
 to my bereavement_, which the many symbols of 
 woe and lamentation around could not fail to 
 pourtray. The rooms of the old HaU, at all times 
 gloomy, were now made doubly so by the half- 
 closed casements. Silently, and with grave and 
 dismal looks, the domestics ghded along the 
 ancient corridors ; seldom or never speaking.
 
 20 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 but in whispers. Strange figures clothed in black- 
 wandered about the building; and, amid the 
 cessation of all the customary occupations of 
 the household, I was left entirely to my own 
 guidance. 
 
 My mother I did not see for days ; and at 
 length, without well knowing wherefore, I felt, 
 in heart, what many of those around me were 
 only paid for pourtraying in their countenances. 
 Shunning the dismal looks, whether real or 
 pretended, which met me at every turn, I hastily 
 quitted the more frequ6nted parts of the build- 
 ing, and unconsciously sought my father's hbrary. 
 There, in a long, black coffin, supported by 
 trestles in the centre of the room, reposed all 
 that remained of my once kind parent. And 
 instead of the dear, familiar faces, and joyous 
 laugh that used so often to gladden our happy 
 circle, when seated at evening round the cheerful 
 fire in that veiy room, there stood rude and
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 21 
 
 coai'se-looking men, each clothed in the habih- 
 ments of woe. Silent and still, as statues, they 
 waited by the corpse with countenances as im- 
 moveable as their bodies. 
 
 Witji a mixed feeling of wonder and fear, I 
 gazed first at the sombre pall which covered the 
 body, and then vainly looked round in search of 
 some face not altogether strange ; but none 
 gazed on me save the mutes. No fire warmed 
 the grate, though it was then the middle of 
 winter ; and the snow beat cold and cheerlessly 
 against the -vvdndows, — the rug was pulled fi:'om 
 the hearth, — the furniture covered with cloths : 
 all seemed changed and drear ; and with a 
 heavy heart, I Avas turning to depart, when my 
 eye encountered the old, red morocco chair so 
 often shared with my indulgent parent; and 
 where, for hours and hours, I had rested upon 
 his knee, till, fatigued with laughter and play, 
 I sank to sleep on his bosom. At that moment
 
 22 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 the old piece of furniture seemed as a tried and 
 trusty friend : it had been pushed back but a 
 short distance from where it usually stood; and, 
 in all probability^ had not been moved since my 
 father rose from it for the last time. As I con- 
 tinued gazing on this senseless object of my 
 attention^ every kind word and gentle caress, o^ 
 my poor father, came crowding thickly over my 
 memory ; and when I called to mind each en- 
 dearing expression, so often used by him when 
 addressing me^ I felt my little heart throb with 
 an agonizing sensation of grief; my head grew 
 giddy; and, sinking on my knees beside the 
 inanimate body, I burst into tears. 
 
 The following day, clad in my dismal garb, 
 and led by the hand by two of my relatives, I 
 followed the sombre pageant and waving plumes, 
 drooping, as though in sorrow over my father's 
 hearse. Many an hour of joy and sorrow has 
 fleeted by since then ; and death have I seen
 
 HARRY AUSTIN'. 23 
 
 in many a vaiied shape ; but never shall I again 
 experience that indescribable feehng of misen-, 
 ^vith which, for the first time, I heard the hollow 
 sound ©f the clod of eaith thro^^Ti on the lowered 
 coffin, and when they let do^vn his cold form 
 into the damp, drears* vault prepai'ed to receive 
 it : then stiTick on my heart the full conscious- 
 ness of final sepai'^tion : and can*}ing with it 
 the con-sdction that never again should I be- 
 hold that smile which ever beamed in kindness 
 towards me; nor again hear that voice whose 
 tones always fell on my ear in accents of love 
 and affection — then it was that the fiill extent of 
 my loss seemed, in one instant, to be laid open 
 to my vievr ; and, for the first time in my life? 
 I tasted the bitter cup of misery. 
 
 When next I entered the old family pew, I 
 found a large marble slab placed against the wall 
 of the church, whereon was recorded a brief 
 epitaph of my deceased parent's buth and death.
 
 24 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 But why was the inscription so shorty compared 
 with the size of the tablet whereon it was en- 
 graved ? Was the blank space only left^ until 
 the dark tomb should claim another victim ? 
 Alas ! too soon the sculptor was called upon to 
 resume his labours^ and finish the inscription 
 which he had but half completed. 
 
 It neyer was intended that grief for the dead 
 should monopolize the interest and attention 
 claimed by the living ; at leasts so think the 
 members of that intricate^, complicated, and much 
 to be feared profession yclept the law: for 
 hardly had my poor father received the last 
 offices from his survivors, than a new" race of 
 beings took possession of the Hall ; but of a far 
 different stamp to that of their predecessors. 
 The gloomy, immoveable mutes disappeared; 
 but in their place stood a dapper, smart, Httle 
 gentleman, well versed in the quirks and quib- 
 bles of the law. His sage head, neatly, and
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 25 
 
 ■vvith much care besprinkled with a thin coat of 
 powder; his upper garment was of a Hghtbrown^ 
 while' the coverings of his legs, made of a similar 
 description of cloth, were met below the knee 
 by a pair of well used, \Tiiegar-topped, boots. 
 To this gentleman was confided the task of 
 searching and pmng into every possible and 
 impossible hole and comer, where either will, 
 testamentary document, or codicil, could or 
 could not, by any earthly possibihty, be secreted. 
 In his indefatigable researches, the man of 
 wisdom was ably seconded by his two clerks, 
 who, clad in garments approximating as nearly 
 as possible in form and texture to those of their 
 superior, dived into drawer after drawer, filled 
 \\-ith as heterogeneous a mass, of accumulated, 
 useless papers, as might have taken all the 
 attomies in the county half a century to docket. 
 Nothing daunted however by the appalling sight, 
 the view of each newly discovered bundle of old 
 
 VOL. I. c
 
 26 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 receipts seemed but to add to their zeal ; until, 
 having ransacked every improbable part of the 
 building, they bethought them of looking to the 
 only place where it was likely such a document 
 as that for which they were in search could be 
 found, viz., in the drawers of the writing-table 
 which my father was in the constant habit of 
 using. Neither had they to prosecute their 
 labours much farther ; for, on opening the first 
 bureau, theu' sight was instantly greeted by a 
 large packet whereon, in plain and legible letters, 
 was inscribed, "The last Will and Testament 
 of Julian Austin, Esq.^' 
 
 To talvc possession of the important paper, 
 and to display the seal unbroken before the 
 many, anxious, legacy-expectants who crowded 
 round, were the two first actions of the inde- 
 fatigable attorney; when, securing the docu- 
 ment in one of his enormous pockets, he pro- 
 ceeded to the drawing-room, followed by the 
 
 I
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 27 
 
 whole posse comitatus; first, in slow and solemn 
 strides, as befitted the occasion; then increasing 
 to a somewhat quicker pace, until, at length, 
 their progress approached nearer to a run than 
 an amble ; many a one shoving his neighbour, 
 to obtain a convenient place for hearing the 
 Will read from first to last ; probably without 
 being gratified at finding his ow^n nomenclature 
 even once recorded. 
 
 The result was soon told; Selby Hall, and 
 the property appertaining, was left to my 
 mother in trust for me, to be delivered over on 
 attaining my majority ; and, in the event of my 
 dying prior to my surviving parent, it was to 
 revert to her, with fiiU and entire controul over 
 the whole : exclusive of this arrangement, a cor- 
 siderable sum in ready money became at her 
 immediate disposal; there were some small 
 legacies of little moment; and, altogether, I 
 imagine, few wills ever occupied less time in 
 
 c 2
 
 28 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 reading, or afforded such trifling satisfaction to 
 the numerous and expectant Hsteners. 
 
 Of course, the report of the contents of the 
 document soon found its way through the 
 neighbourhood; and by more than one needy 
 adventurer was my mother regarded in the 
 hght of a necessary appendage to his estabhsh- 
 ment, provided she could be induced to trust 
 her happiness and fortune within his power. 
 By none, however, were the advantages and 
 disadvantages of such a union weighed and re- 
 weighed, thought on and pondered over, with 
 more earnestness than by Sir Frederick Dis- 
 towe. As to the possibility of failure of success, 
 should he resolve on this second mai'riage, such 
 a discouraging idea never entered the Baronet's 
 speculation; and as regarded the happiness or 
 misery, which his intended victim was hkely to 
 receive from so ill assorted a union, so pre-
 
 HARRY AUSTINi 29 
 
 posterous a consideration never, for one mo- 
 ment, troubled his cogitations. ^ ^^ ^, 
 
 At this time he had nearly exhausted not 
 only his finances^ but his credit ; the latter as 
 much in character, as in pecuniary affairs. A 
 long succession of dupes, turned pennyless from 
 the fatal gambhng-table of the Baronet, to vent 
 their execrations against the authors of their 
 ruin, in every society where they could be met 
 with, at length attracted the notice of even 
 those whose pursuits, being far from dissimilar, 
 would gladly have avoided being called upon 
 to interfere. Under these circumstances, it was 
 not much to be wondered at that this worthy 
 personage at length decided on the eligibiHty 
 of propping up his broken credit with the 
 substantial aid of my mother's fortune, even 
 though hampered with the encumbrance of the 
 lady ; and, taking into consideration my sickly 
 appearance, and with a lively faith in the in-
 
 30 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 fallibility of those manifold diseases to which 
 children are liable ; the chance of the whole 
 property faUing into his possession appeared 
 neither impossible^ nor indeed extremely im- 
 probable. 
 
 In due time. Sir Frederick's visits to the Hall 
 were in every respect diametrically opposite to 
 those recorded as being paid by angels; for 
 instead of few and far between, their recapitula- 
 tions were so frequent, and so small a pause 
 divided their continuance, that they might 
 almost be said to have condensed themselves 
 into one endless visitation ; and when, by 
 chance, I happened to cross his path, he 
 was wont to cast on me one of those sweet 
 glances of recognition, which a wolf may 
 be supposed to exhibit when gazing on a 
 coveted object placed beyond his power of 
 appropriation. 
 
 What motive influenced my mother's better
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 31 
 
 judgment in this affair^ I never was able to 
 discover ; but so pertinaciously did she resist all 
 argument and advice, having for their object 
 the annulment of her purposed engagement, 
 that, one by one, her friends ceased to impor- 
 tune her on the subject ; and, at length, all 
 preliminaries having been effected, the lawyer 
 withdrew, to make room for the ecclesiastic, 
 through whose instrumentality she claimed 
 the privilege of being accosted as Lady 
 Distowe. 
 
 Perhaps it was the magic which one small 
 word is known to possess over the female heart 
 that captivated my poor mother ; that of adding 
 her name to the long Hst of fair and lovely 
 beings who have sacrificed their real happiness 
 by grasping at a coveted title. 
 
 But a very brief period had elapsed when I 
 discovered the new establishment was of a far 
 different description from the old one ; so much
 
 32 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 SO, that I would most Avillingly have exchanged 
 the occupations of home, for the rough treat- 
 ment of a school. As for my step-father, he, 
 who never had been particularly partial to my 
 appearance, now ceased to consider me but as 
 a detested obstacle, intervening between the 
 possession of Selby and his inestimable self; 
 and most gladly would he have hastened my 
 departure for another and a better world, had 
 any convenient method for disposing of me 
 suggested itself. 
 
 Although I never obsen^ed any decided act 
 of ill treatment, on the part of her husband 
 towards my mother, still, there was sufficient 
 in the manner of the latter to convince me that 
 the recollection of her friends^ opinion, respect- 
 ing her second marriage, often forced itself on 
 her mind with a bitter, though unavailing, feel- 
 ing of regret ; and when, in obedience vrith the 
 mandate of Sir Frederick, I made my juvenile
 
 HARRY AUSTIX. 33 
 
 preparations for my departure for Eton, the 
 only regret I felt was the anticipated separation 
 from my mother. 
 
 Kind and affectionate as she had ever been, 
 her former regard was but indifference com- 
 pared to the overwhelming sohcitude and 
 alacrity with which my every wish was now 
 administered to : frequently would she take 
 me with her to a beautiful, but then neglected, 
 hermitage, where, in happier days, many a meiT\^ 
 coterie had assembled. There have I often 
 witnessed the indulgence of grief, the existence 
 of which was so carefully hidden from the 
 notice of others. Seated in this retired spot, 
 and clasping my hands mth the shght pressure 
 of her dehcate fingers, she would remain wholly 
 absorbed in reflection : sometimes my childish 
 impatience, at the protracted silence, would 
 bring my mother's name to my hps, in the 
 hope of drawing her attention towards me ; 
 
 c 5
 
 34 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 then would she fold me in her arms^ and^ press- 
 ing my cheek to her wan lips, a gush of tears, 
 indicating the anguish of her heart, frequently 
 accompanied the fond caress. 
 
 On the morning of my leaving home, I was 
 Kent for to my mothei'^s room, when, taking 
 from a small ebony cabinet two portraits curi- 
 ously cased in beautifully embossed gold, she 
 placed round my neck that which was a like- 
 ness of herself, retaining the other, which was 
 a miniature of my father ; they were admirably 
 executed; the cases were exactly similar, and 
 evidently the work of no inferior artist. As 
 my mother fastened the picture round my 
 neck, she endeavoured to speak, but tears im- 
 peded her utterance : her dark blue eyes were 
 swollen with weeping ; and the pale quivering 
 lip told she had passed the previous night in 
 restlessness and w^atching. 
 
 At that instant, every anticipation of pleasure
 
 HARRY A1\STIN. 35 
 
 fled ; and gladly ^yould I have sacrificed all my 
 ideal felicity, if permitted to have remained 
 with my mother. But it could not be ; I was 
 forced from her last affectionate embrace ; and 
 a few minutes more found me on the road to 
 Eton.
 
 36 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 ^' Floreat Etona/^ and most willingly do I 
 echo the motto which, emblazoned on the stan- 
 dard of the Ten-oar, floats proudly in advance of 
 all his associates, freighted with their juvenile 
 crews. And though I passed many happy hours 
 on the banks of old Father Thames, still, my 
 enjoyments were not of that unalloyed descrip- 
 tion so perseveringly stated by my old friend 
 the Rector. Of course I had my share of bad 
 usage ; thereby instructing me fully in the most 
 approved way of retaliating on others, for the 
 inflictions I had suffered in my own person.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 37 
 
 My holydays were seldom passed at Selby ; 
 indeed, so little did Sir Frederick appear satis- 
 fied, when the periods arrived for my return 
 home, that his aversion towards me gained in 
 strength as my increase of years and improve- 
 ment in health threw his chance of succession 
 further in the shade ; and, at length, my visits 
 became so decidedly irksome that my mother, 
 who could not avoid witnessing the many slights 
 and humiliating annoyances to which I was 
 continually subjected, sought and obtained per- 
 mission for me to pass the vacations at my 
 uncle's ; at witiose house I always found a ready 
 welcome, and from whom I invariably received 
 the greatest proofs of kindness. 
 
 In early life, my ancient relative had from 
 choice entered the army ; but, though always 
 employed, it had been his fate rather to have 
 served against climate, than in front of mar- 
 shalled battahons, and I beheve there was hardly
 
 38 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 a burning spot on earthy or an unhealthy station 
 in our possession^ that had not at some period 
 or other been visited by him. But his chief 
 deUght consisted in recounting the ten thou- 
 sand times told story of the taking of Guada- 
 loupe. That my uncle had indeed proved his 
 gallantry and tactics on that^ to him, most 
 memorable occasion, I doubt not in the least ; 
 but as it formed the most prominent of his 
 military exploits, so was it made the chief topic 
 of his conversation; and whenever, by fair 
 means or foul, the narrative could by any pos- 
 sibility be pressed into the service, it was but 
 too certain to appear. 
 
 Without ha\dng had opportunities to distin- 
 guish himself on any more memorable occasion, 
 he had, step by step, mounted the ladder of his 
 profession, from which he had seen more drop 
 from disease than by the sword, until he found 
 himself in his old age a General Officer, with
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 39 
 
 a few letters of the alphabet appended to his 
 name ; and his retired allowance to luxuriate 
 on^ as he best could. Fortunately for him, he 
 was not dependent on the latter ; for, exclusive 
 of a small property of his o^ti, my father's 
 liberahty had long since made his brother as 
 independent as he \^-ished. Late in life, he had 
 married, adding thereby to his wealth ; but too 
 soon was his partner taken fi'om him, leaving 
 one daughter on whom aU his thoughts and 
 affections were now turned : varied occasionally 
 with oft-repeated recollections of Lieutenant 
 General Sir Charles Grey, and the yeai* 1794. 
 A dozen times a day, at least, did my uncle 
 weigh anchor from the Bay of Port Royal, and 
 sail against Guadaloupe : the Quebec, the 
 Blanche, the Ceres, and the Rose, frigates were 
 but part of the formidable fleet his recollection 
 was continually placing under saihng orders. 
 And had the French garrison, under General
 
 40 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Collot^ marched out of the town as often in one 
 year, as my uncle made them abandon it in a 
 day, they must have been pretty conversant 
 with the road. General Dundas, Sir Charles 
 Grey, and Sir John Jervis, were his heroes of 
 romance ; while Guadaloupe, with its neigbour- 
 ing islands, was in his opinion the very land of 
 chivalry. 
 
 I was now fifteen, and, having been pressed 
 by my uncle to make choice of a profession, 
 felt but too happy in pronouncing, in accordance 
 wdth his views, my determination in favour of 
 the army. The only drawback, in my good 
 relative's estimation, was the improbability of 
 such another harvest of laurels presenting itself 
 as was reaped in the ever memorable year, 1 794, 
 at Guadaloupe. But, he would add, in conclu- 
 sion to one of his repeated descriptions of the 
 capture, " But my boy, don't be cast down on 
 that score : though Dundas is gone, and many a
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 41 
 
 gallant spirit with him^ still there is no reason 
 why you should not see something in your 
 time ; though to be sure it is not to be expected 
 that such an expedition as I have witnessed 
 can occur more than once in a century/^ 
 
 No opposition to my entering the army was 
 contemplated from Sir Frederick Distowe ; and 
 indeed his reply to my uncle, on the subject, 
 only denoted his gratification at my ha\'ing 
 voluntarily offered him a fresh and no unsub- 
 stantial chance in favour of his succeeding to 
 Selby. 
 
 My poor mother had long been aware of the 
 impossibihty of my step-father's sentiments 
 towards me undergoing any change; and 
 accordingly her consent was %\-iUingly bestowed 
 to my entering a profession suggested by my 
 imcle, and approved by myself. Apphcation 
 was accordingly made to the Horse Guards; 
 and, in about three weeks afterwards, when
 
 42 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 sitting on the long- walk wall ; and engaged in 
 deep and learned conversation with those well- 
 known characters, Jem Miller, Jack Gan-away 
 and Shampo, most learnedly expatiating on the 
 merits and demerits of rats, dogs, and casting 
 nets ; a letter fi'om my uncle was put into my 
 hands, stating that His Royal Highness had 
 been pleased to appoint me to a cornetcy in the 
 Hussars ; and directing me to join at Ipswich 
 with as httle delay as possible. 
 
 Enclosed was a sum of money to defray my 
 existing expenses, and a postscript advised me 
 to start for London forthwith ; whence, having 
 issued the necessary directions for my outfit, I 
 was to run down to the country, and bid my 
 friends adieu previous to commencing my new 
 career. Across the letter in red ink was written : 
 " My dear boy, I am soriy His Royal Highness 
 did not place you in the Infantry ; although I 
 am told it is the greater compliment your
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 43 
 
 having been gazetted to the Hussars. This 
 may be so^ for all I know ; but though I can 
 pretty clearly remember every regiment I have 
 served with, I don^t recollect any of the Hussar 
 Brigade at Guadaloupe.^^ 
 
 I cannot leave Eton without recounting a 
 scene with ^'^The Doctor/^ for whom we all 
 felt no sUght degree of awe ; and so firmly had 
 his authorative manner, engendered and ma- 
 tured by his constant association with the boys, 
 superseded a more bland and courteous de- 
 meanour, that, even in after hfe, when con- 
 versing with those who had once been his pupils, 
 he either could not, or would not, take the 
 trouble to deviate fi'om his habitual pomposity. 
 Some years aftenvards, I happened to be quar- 
 tered at Windsor ; and, having called on the 
 Doctor, but not finding him at home, I one day 
 chanced to meet him in the street. I instantly 
 accosted him; and, losing no time in maldng
 
 44 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 myself known, requested he would honour me 
 by naming a day when he might make it con- 
 venient to dine with me. Looking me full in 
 the face, with a frown that instantly brought to 
 my mind the remembrance of an anticipated, 
 and immediately to be executed, castigation, he 
 replied in his sharjj caustic tone, " Eh ! dine 
 with you, eh ! ! at the mess, I suppose, eh ! 
 very likely indeed : eh ! you were always a bad 
 boy at school — go along, sir — go along ! dine 
 at the mess, indeed ! bad boy — ^bad boy — eh ?' 
 and off he started, — leaving me to ponder on 
 the various modes in which invitations, well 
 meant, are very frequently regarded. 
 
 At length the day arrived for my farewell to 
 'the distant spires and antique towers.^ Ac- 
 cording to custom, from time immemorial, I fed 
 my friends with a breakfast of ice and sausages 
 at Garraways — received from each a splendidly 
 bound book ; the leaves of which, I verily be-
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 45 
 
 lieve, have never seen the light up to this hour 
 — ^took my ceremonious leave of the Doctor, 
 who, when cordially shaking hands at my final 
 exit from his chambers, failed not to scrape the 
 palm of my claw, with the sharp nails of his 
 fingers, searching for the tahsmanic bit of paper 
 which long habit had taught him the digits of 
 his departing pupils were always sure to en- 
 close. With a mixture of pride, joy and regret, 
 I mounted Jack Moody's four-horse power; 
 and in three hours found myself at Hyde Park 
 Comer, 
 
 ^^ Where shall I set you down, sir?'' said 
 Jack, seated, in all the pride of coachmanship, 
 on the box of his true blue coloured vehicle, — 
 ''^ Where shall I set you down, sir ? Here we is 
 at the Park Gate, and as I always stops at 
 the White Horse Cellar, may be you 'd fancy 
 Hatchett's — clean, cheap, and all that sort of 
 thing ; besides which, quite convenient to my
 
 46 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 coach — shall I put you down there, sir ? '^ 
 '' With all my heart. Jack/' rephed I ; " Fvc 
 got some business to transact in London, which 
 will keep me a day or two ; so it's Uttle matter 
 where I put up." 
 
 In brief time we drew up at that bazaar of 
 coaches, the White Horse Cellar; and I soon 
 found myself seated in solitary grandeur, the 
 sole occupant of one of the long, narrow boxes 
 of a noisy, and not most delectable, coffee- 
 room. Here then, thought I — commences my 
 career of manhood — I have left school — am 
 now an officer in the army — plenty of money — 
 my own master in London, — and some days at 
 my disposal. W^ho does not remember the 
 luxurious delight enjoyed when first emerging 
 from the trammels and restraints of school? 
 Then it is we strive to conceal our youth, as 
 though our juvenihty were a fault ; and, in the 
 endeavour to follow the example of our elders.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 47 
 
 often deem their foibles laudable, and their very 
 imperfections worthy of imitation. At that 
 epoch of our existence all seems to smile around 
 — the path of pleasure appears but as a garden 
 decked with the choicest and most beautiiul 
 exotics — the thorns are hidden by the leaves and 
 flowers — the hollow selfishness of the world is 
 imperceptible — the cold, calculating speculations 
 of self-interest, and the deceitful smile of envy, 
 are alike hidden from the view. Then it is we 
 judge the sentiments and professions of others 
 by our own buoyant and gladsome elasticity of 
 spirits. In every acquaintance we think we 
 discover a friend ; and seldom, at that age, do 
 we entertain a doubt but that all our beatifical 
 visions will be reahzed. Alas ! that those feel- 
 ings and ideas should pass away ! but so it is. 
 A httle intercourse with mankind — a slight 
 knowledge of the world — an instance of treachery 
 or deceit made visible ; and then we become as
 
 48 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 worldly as our neighbours, and have nothing 
 more of excellence to recommend us than has 
 fallen to the lot of those around. 
 
 Not very similar to the foregoing were my 
 cogitations at this period : for although I was, 
 for the time, much engrossed with my own 
 thoughts, they partook of a far more briUiant 
 colour. I was turning over in my own mind 
 how I had better commence the round of gaiety 
 and amusement I had promised myself; and as 
 my eyes rapidly scanned the luxurious banquet 
 advertised in the columns of the newspaper laid 
 before me, I was quite at a loss to know with 
 which to commence. In this dilemma, I was 
 about to call in the assistance of the waiter, he 
 being, as I thought, a person well qualified to 
 decide on so knotty a point, — when my intention 
 was rendered unnecessary by an unexpected 
 proffer of assistance tendered on the part of 
 a very gentlemanlike, middle-aged man, who
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 49 
 
 seeing^ I suppose, my isolated condition, and. 
 judging, from my youth, that inexperience 
 was my only fellow traveller, kindly advanced 
 his counsel and support. 
 
 ^^ I tiTist, sir,^^ exclaimed my new acquaint- 
 ance, crossing to the box where I was stationed, 
 with a pewter ink-stand and an old newspaper 
 before me, ^^ I sincerely hope, su', you will pardon 
 my apparent inideness in addressing a gentleman 
 to whom I hav'C not the honour of being person- 
 ally known. But, if I am not much deceived, by 
 your great likeness to an old and much valued 
 friend of mine — ^' here my kind Mentor heaved 
 an awful sigh — ^^ I should say I was now ad- 
 dressing a son of the late owner of Selby. If I 
 am right/^ he continued, ^^ I trust no apologj- 
 is requisite ; if wrong — I have but to express 
 my sorrow at having needlessly disturbed your 
 reverie.'^ Whether, however, right or wrong, 
 my new acquaintance seemed fully determined 
 
 VOL. I. D
 
 50 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 I should have the benefit of his companionship, 
 for, without further preface, or apology, he 
 gently sUd into an opposite seat ; and, calling for 
 a bottle of claret_, invited me to aid in its an- 
 nihilation. It occupied but short time and 
 httle trouble for my new acquaintance to pump 
 me in a most effectual manner ; and, ere half an 
 hour had passed, I beheve he knew as much of 
 my affairs as I did myself. His conversation 
 was extremely agreeable ; and, as glass after 
 glass of my host^s potent hquid found its way to 
 my mouth, I became particularly loquacious and 
 communicative. 
 
 That my companion had been an old friend of 
 my father's I never, for an instant, entertained 
 a doubt ; and, indeed, had any suspicion of the 
 veracity of his story entered my imagination, it 
 must as instantly have been dispelled, on hearing 
 him refer to places and anecdotes connected 
 with my home, which none but a person well
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 51 
 
 acquainted with the family and the neighbour- 
 hood could have been conversant with. 
 
 Had I been as collected after our second 
 bottle as I was before our first, I might have 
 remembered that, some half hour previous, I 
 had myself detailed the various anecdotes, the 
 relation of which aftenvards I accepted as certain 
 proofs of his being what he represented himself. 
 But, by this time, I felt any thing but inclined 
 to pry into the motives and actions of any one — 
 much less could I for an instant hesitate to 
 beheve whatever so dehghtful a companion chose 
 to assert. 
 
 Merrily passed the time, and gaily sped the 
 bottle to and fro, when the clock struck nine ; 
 at which my companion, starting from his seat, 
 declared he had a most particular engagement 
 to keep that evening, and regretted that he had 
 already overstaid his time. " It was most pro- 
 voking, — surely the clock must be wrong — it 
 
 D 2 
 
 Ss-TvonuuNOis
 
 52 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 could not be so late — his own repeater he had 
 left at home by accident — and his watch never 
 went wTong — timed it that morning by the 
 Horse Guards. Had I a watch about me ? 
 Perhaps I would oblige him by seeing if it really 
 was nine that stmck. Sorry to give me so much 
 trouble^, — but it was of great consequence for 
 him to know/^ In an instant my gold watch 
 was produced — a present, by the bye, from my 
 kind old Guadaloupe uncle — the point was 
 settled — and, for the last time, my unfortunate 
 repeater rested in the fob of my sky-blue 
 inexpressibles. 
 
 "Waiter, waiter !^^ exclaimed the gentleman 
 in a hurry, '^ Get a coach — quick — d^ye hear ? — 
 Egad, sir,^' continued he, turning to me, ^^ I am 
 extremely sorry at being obUged to lose such 
 agreeable society ; but business, you know, my 
 dear young friend, business must be attended 
 to— ^'
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 53 
 
 " Oh, certainly ! '' was my answer, thanks to 
 the copious libations, not well knowing what I 
 said ; " business, as you say, business must be 
 attended to — but you wont be aU night at your 
 business, I suppose ? Why not let us go to the 
 play, as soon as you are disengaged }" 
 
 " Dehghted ! I shall be charmed ! " he re- 
 pUed ; '^ and, now I think of it, why not accom- 
 pany me now ? I have but a gentleman to call 
 on, who will not long detain me, and then we 
 can proceed together/^ 
 
 "With all my heart !'' said I, putting on my 
 gloves, and preparing to depart. " I hear the 
 coach driving up to the door, so let ^s be off." 
 In accordance wherewith we were on the point 
 of leaving the coffee-room, when the waiter re- 
 appeared with the never-failing bit of indited 
 paper, exclaiming, in a soft smoothing tongue. 
 "The bill, gentlemen,— the bill, if you please !'' 
 " Oh !— Ah !— the bill, to be sure— the bill !"
 
 54 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 replied my friend^ echoing the waiter's words ; 
 ^^ Oh ! it 's of no consequence now — we shall 
 return. Besides, this gentleman's staying in 
 the house — Are you not, my young friend ?" he 
 continued, turning to me. 
 
 ^^ Yes, to be sure I am," I answered, not well 
 understanding what my staying in the house 
 had to do with the bill ; ^^ didn't I come up from 
 Eton this morning, in Moody's coach ?" 
 
 " Oh ! I beg your pardon, sir," answered the 
 facetious waiter. " Is your luggage in the 
 house, sir?" 
 
 ^^ Of course it is," chimed in my friend. 
 "Two portmanteaus, a trunk, and a hat-box 
 No. 33. What the devil do you ask for ? 
 Come, open the door, we shaU be kept here all 
 night. Damned impertinent !" he muttered, as 
 he stepped into the leather convenience. 
 
 " Yes," hiccupped I, stumbhng after him up 
 the crazy steps ; ^^ damned impertinent — very !'*
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 55 
 
 and away we rattled^ in one of those now nearly 
 obsolete vehicles, an ancient London haclaiey 
 coach. 
 
 As it was a matter of perfect indifference to 
 me to what place we were driven, I never 
 thought of inquking on the subject, until our 
 Jehu pulled up at the door of a dirty-looking 
 spirit and eating-house in Piccadilly, when, my 
 friend having descended from our coach, invited 
 me to follow him into the building. 
 
 Immediately on entering the mansion, I dis- 
 covered half a dozen people actively engaged in 
 opening oysters, and making visible preparations 
 for an extensive feast. Passing through this 
 outer shop, or entrance, I was shown into a 
 spacious saloon, brilliantly illuminated, and 
 decorated with the most gaudy ornaments pro- 
 curable. Here again, as at my last abode, the 
 sides of the w^alls were divided by planks of 
 wood running out some eight feet towards the
 
 56 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 centre, the enclosures resembling the stalls of a 
 stable. Above the floor on which I stood ran a 
 gallery encircling the entire room, in which were 
 laid numerous small tables covered with the 
 usual appurtenances to a supper ; but as yet the 
 guests had not arrived. While occupied in 
 viewing this, to me, novel spectacle, my friend, 
 sending his eye rapidly round the room, in search 
 of some object, proceeded forthwith to the farther 
 corner, where, ensconced in a huge, shaggy 
 w^hite coat, sat a solitary being, contemplating, 
 as though in deep thought, the bottom of an 
 empty tankard placed before him. What their 
 subject of conversation might have been, I know 
 not ; but, from the frequent glances bestowed 
 on my humble person, I could not avoid sup- 
 posing myself not altogether unnoticed in their 
 discourse. Presently, however, my acquaintance 
 rose to depart ; while he of the shaggy coat, 
 calling for a fresh tankard, again betook himself
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 57 
 
 to his solitary cogitations. Meanwhile^ in reply 
 to my various inquiries regarding the place we 
 were then in^ my mentor informed me that, later 
 in the evening, it was the resort of the gayest 
 and most fashionable persons about to\vn, and 
 strongly urged me to accompany him back 
 again, after having visited the theatre. Even 
 to my inexperience there appeared some incon- 
 gruities in my friend's statement; for few Eton 
 boys can reconcile the idea of a coarse-featured, 
 savage looking man, in a shaggy great coat, 
 with his hat on, drinking out of a pe^-ter 
 tankard in an oyster-house, being synonymous 
 with an assembly-room frequented by the gayest 
 and most fashionable about London. But at 
 the age of fifteen we do not weigh and balance 
 the probable truth or falsehood of what we 
 hear, with the jealousy and caution of the 
 wariness of forty. 
 
 Drury Lane was the place of our destination ; 
 
 D 5
 
 58 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 and what with the music, scenery, the stage, 
 the lights, and the excitement naturally attend- 
 ant on the novelty of the sight, I was perfectly 
 enchanted. Seeing me in such good spirits, 
 my friend appeared determined I should retain 
 them ; and, for fear that the natural buoyancy 
 of youth, unsupported by artificial means, 
 might droop prematurely, he continually plied 
 me with divers beverages, which certainly 
 tended in no great degree to clear my already 
 clouded brain. 
 
 My friend appeared to have a very numerous 
 acquaintance ; and hardly a lady passed, of 
 whom there were many walking about the pas- 
 sages, on account, as I supposed, of the great 
 heat in the boxes, without his being favoured 
 with some token of recognition : but whenever 
 they noticed my inestimable self hanging on 
 his arm, the circumstance afforded them un- 
 bounded merriment : all this was incomprehen-
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 59 
 
 sible to me^ but yet it was very delightful. 
 The saloon appeared, in my uninitiated eyes, a 
 perfect paradise, and its frequenters the fabled 
 inhabitants. 
 
 On leaving the theatre, I was much struck 
 at the anxiety my friend evinced when passing 
 two men in red waistcoats and blue coats, who 
 were stationed at the bottom of the stairs. He 
 slouched his hat over his eyes, — pulled his col- 
 lar and neckcloth to his nose, shrugged his 
 shoulders up till he looked hump-backed, — 
 faltered in his gait, and so completely, in one 
 moment, did he metamorphose himself, that a 
 passer-by would have taken him for an old man 
 of eighty, at least. When outside the house, 
 he resumed his former appearance ; and, on my 
 enquiring the reason of his having disguised 
 himself when passing the two red-waistcoated 
 mortals, he rephed, in a modest, unaffected 
 manner, that the truth was, some time ago, he
 
 GO ADVENTURES OF 
 
 lent those two men a large sum of money, 
 which he knew they w ere yet unable to pay ; 
 and whenever he met them, he endeavoured to 
 fhsguise himself, as he well knew the sight of 
 him to whom they yet remained so much in 
 debt must wound their feelings too poignantly, 
 since it must recal to their minds their appa- 
 rent ingratitude. Did not this evince a good 
 heart? the kind and generous friend? Not 
 only did he put up with the severe loss of his 
 property, but actually inconvenienced himself 
 for fear of hurting the susceptibility of his 
 debtors : all the punch and claret I had drunk 
 rallied round my heart, and I swore he was the 
 finest fellow of whom 1 had ever heard or read. 
 Of the remainder of this, to me, eventfl! 
 evening, I have but an indistinct recollection ; 
 though I had not so lost the command of my 
 senses but I can call to mind our return to 
 Piccadilly ; where we found the before deserted
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. gj 
 
 apartment now crowded to excess. We joined a 
 party, who invited us to supper, among whom 
 was the gentleman of the shaggy garment; 
 when noise, clamour, and singing appeared the 
 predominant occupations. A mist passed before 
 my eyes— I felt a hghtness and gaiety unspeak- 
 able— I was profuse in my offers of good offices, 
 and shaking hands: I sang— shouted— I felt 
 as if the world was my own. The lights muhi- 
 phed ten-fold^ instead of one galleiy above my 
 head, I saw twenty— mstead of one waiter, 
 twenty waiters,— every thing seemed to expand 
 and multiply. My head grew perfectly giddy 
 —glass succeeded glass : though hitherto free 
 from stammering, I was suddenly seized with a 
 most uncontrollable stutter. In attempting to 
 rise, I lost my balance, and upset a candle over 
 a fair lady opposite, of whom, for the last hour, 
 I had seen fifty exactly ahl^e. The flame of the 
 candle caught the fine feathers of her head
 
 62 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 dress, then again, instead of one lady on fire, I 
 saw fifty ladies on fire ; then there was a yell — 
 a scream — the fights were put out — a horrible 
 sensation, as though my head was being 
 crushed : I felt myself forcibly taken off my 
 legs — ^my body went round and round like a 
 whirfigig at a fair. The pockets of my trousers, 
 as if astonished at the noise, suddenly sprung 
 out, as to witness what was going on : aU ob- 
 jects danced as if the universe had lost its 
 balance; and all beyond was indistinct, and 
 nothingness.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 63 
 
 CHAPTER TV. 
 
 The following morning I awoke in a high fever. 
 A most excessive thirst parched up my mouth 
 and throat ; while the pulses of my head throb- 
 bed as if about to burst. I felt sick both in 
 mind and body ; and as by slow degrees the 
 recollection of the events of the previous evening 
 rose to view, my morning reflections thereon 
 differed widely from the excited feelings of the 
 previous night. At length, endeavouring to 
 collect my scattered faculties, I sat up, not a 
 little perplexed, as the place in which I found 
 myself became distinct.
 
 64 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 It was a small wretched apartment^ with but 
 one miserable wmdow^ the broken panes of 
 which had in most instances dropt out, leaving 
 a free opening for the cold frosty air, save where, 
 here and there, a bundle of dirty rags had been 
 tlii'ust in the apertures. The roof was low, and 
 black with smoke and filth ; while a small fire- 
 place without a grate gave every encouragement 
 for the wind to rush down the chimney, which 
 it did with a low melancholy whistle. Neither 
 chair nor table was in the room, the only furni- 
 ture it could boast being the apology for a bed — 
 if bed that thing could be called on which I 
 found myself lying. This delectable couch was 
 composed of two or three old sacks, partly filled 
 with damp straw and hay, which in all proba- 
 bility had been purloined from some neighbour- 
 ing mews — these were cast upon the floor for 
 want of a beadstead ; and a tattered patch-w^ork 
 counterpane or coverlet thrown over them, pre-
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 65 
 
 sented any thing but the appearance of luxury. 
 Opposite to where I sat^ was a door opening 
 into the wall, which probably led to some closet 
 or small inner room. 
 
 I was not much troubled in searching for my 
 clothes, having apparently been cast on the 
 ground in exactly the state I was brought from 
 the melee; consequently what garments had 
 been spared in the conflict still covered my 
 person — but torn and soiled as they were — my 
 head bruised and bloody — my eyes sunk in their 
 sockets — and my pockets turned inside out — I 
 must have presented a most humihating picture 
 of the dignity of man. 
 
 My watch had departed; and my purse I 
 suppose had gone in search of it; for neither 
 could be found — my handkerchief, and in fact 
 the whole contents of my pockets, had disap- 
 peared. But all my pains and all my son'ow 
 for the past were as nothing compared to the
 
 66 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 grief I felt when, thrusting my hand in my 
 bosom, I found my mother's miniature — the one 
 she gave me on my first leaving home, and which 
 till then I had ever worn, and so carefully pre- 
 served — was gone likewise. The purse might 
 be replenished — new clothes could succeed the 
 others — my bruises might be healed — but how 
 could the miniature be replaced ? I instantly 
 resolved to seek my new acquaintance and 
 soHcit his aid ; and I had half risen from my lair, 
 to put my plan in execution, ere I recollected 
 my complete ignorance of his abode. Not only 
 was I unacquainted w ith the way to the scene of 
 the last night's festivities, but wholly unaware 
 by what name to enquire for it. What was to 
 be done ? From the window I beheld nothing 
 but the tops of houses, and the thick smoke 
 from the chimneys striving to force its way 
 through the foggy atmosphere. The door of 
 the room was fastened on the outside ; and I
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 6? 
 
 found myself to all intents and purposes a 
 prisoner. 
 
 I now began to feel any thing but in a qui- 
 escent state of mind. All the a\^-ful accounts 
 I had read of persons being kidnapped sprung 
 to my recollection; and^ as the remembrance 
 of innumerable murders and iniquities rushed 
 through my brain, I felt convinced I was destined 
 to become the principal, though unwiUing, 
 perforaier in some most atrocious tragedy. 
 
 How I became a denizen of the disgusting 
 hole, and why detained against my will — were 
 questions I endeavoured to solve in vain ; and, 
 finding all my efforts to force the door wholly 
 ineffectual ; and feeling that any change must be 
 for the better ; I commenced exerting my lungs, 
 and to their utmost pitch, wisely judging that 
 those who took the trouble of preventing my 
 egress were likely enough to have some farther 
 design regarding me ; and so it proved, for, after
 
 6S ADVENTURES OF 
 
 my vocal exertions had continued for about ten 
 or twelve minutes, I distinctly heard fofotsteps 
 ascending the creaking stair-case ; but when the 
 key of the door grated in the lock, I certainly 
 felt far from comfortable in the anticipation of 
 the coming intervdew. My alarm however, on 
 this occasion, was uncalled for : for, as the door 
 slowly moved on its rusty hinges, a far from 
 uncomely countenance protruded into the apart- 
 ment, leaving the door so far ajar as to enable 
 the visitor instantly to retreat and close it, had 
 1 made the least disposition to commence offen- 
 sive operations ; but so astonished was I, and 
 so unexpected was the visage before me to what 
 my imagination had been conjuring up, — that I 
 was not in the remotest degree prepared for any 
 such attack as the caution observed indicated 
 an expectation of. 
 
 In truth, the countenance before me was a 
 very pretty one — and if I betrayed astonishment
 
 HARRY AUSTIX. 6^ 
 
 at the appearance of the damsel, it was fully 
 equalled by the look of curiosity with which 
 she regarded me. 
 
 The figm-e of my visitor was, if any thing, 
 above the common height ; and the symmetiy 
 of her form was such as rendered even the coarse 
 and unbecoming habiHments in which she was 
 apparelled impossible to conceal. Her hair, 
 which was beautifully dai'k, hung in long neg- 
 lected ringlets over her shoulders ; while the 
 intelligent, yet melancholy, expression of her 
 briUiant eyes spoke eloquently the feelings of 
 her mind. Her face was pale as mai'ble ; and 
 the furtive glance which ever and anon she cast 
 behind her, plainly bespoke her fear of detection 
 in her present occupation. " Silence ! silence ! 
 for Heaven's sake be silent !" uttered my ^isitor, 
 in a voice soft and melodious as a seraph's, 
 though hai'dly above her breath ; at the same 
 time holding up her finger as if to enforce
 
 70 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 obedience; " Are you tired of your existence, 
 young sir, that you thus try to rouse against 
 you those who are but too ready to work you 
 evil. If you would not quit life ere you have 
 hardly commenced it, you must cease your cries 
 for aid — for, unless I serve you, none else here 
 \^'ill. But listen,^^ she added, as a distant sound 
 fi'om below fell on the ear : " I dare not stay 
 longer, but if possible, will return. If you value 
 your life,^^ she added as she silently closed the 
 door, ^^ you will remain silent.^^ 
 
 The sounds which we had distinctly heard 
 now rapidly approached ; and I clearly caught 
 the gruff tones of a man's husky voice, who, 
 swearing the most hideous oaths, intermingled 
 his curses with a tissue of approved slang 
 phrases. 
 
 '^Jane, Jane,'^ exclaimed this monster of a 
 brute, '' where are you, Jane — chaffing with the 
 kiddy ? Aye ! by all that's blasphemous, if that's
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. J\ 
 
 the kite I catch you flyings the banthng's squeeze 
 and my morley shall rub together before he can 
 peach your sphtting. Oh ! sure there you are/' 
 continued he in a milder tone. " Come, quick, 
 Jane, quick ! The Beaks are abroad — Black 
 Jem and the Devil are both wanted — and if they 
 can't cut their sticks before they're grabbled 
 this time we shall dance with our shoes on for 
 certain. We must mizzle ; and you shall watch 
 the crib. But what's to be done with the 
 covey?'' Here the voice was lost in the dis- 
 tance ; and I was again in silence and sohtude. 
 
 Now it so happened that, thanks to my Eton 
 education, or rather to that part of it which was 
 followed up under the tuition of Jem Miller, 
 Jack Gan-away, & Co., I was not so entirely 
 ignorant of the elegancies and meaning of the 
 phraseology I had just heard as might have 
 been the case had I been brought up under the 
 auspices of less enlightened instructors. The
 
 72 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 consequence was I was able to glean that my 
 fair visitor was likely to incur censure for having 
 visited my prison ; while I, it appeared^ was 
 destined for a "job;^^ which said job was to be 
 undertal<:en by my unknown declairaer^ assisted 
 in all probability by his two friends. Black Jem 
 and the Devil. Then again it appeared that 
 the two last-named worthies were at that mo- 
 ment in course of concealment from the hands 
 justice ; and, altogether, when left to my own 
 reflections, I must acknowledge my anticipation 
 of the future was very far from enviable. In 
 vain I taxed my mind to discover by whom, and 
 for what motive, I was incarcerated? Who 
 could Black Jem possibly be ? And what on 
 earth could his satanic majesty want with' me 
 at this time ? Who the former worthy was I 
 knew no more than Adam — and as for the latter, 
 though well acquainted with him by name, this 
 was the first time I ever heard of his appearance
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. ,73 
 
 ill a jf?«Z/;«5/e and visible form to influence the 
 actions of a living body. Yet^ if I heard rightly, 
 I was at that moment not only in the power, 
 but actually in the abode, of the black Gentle- 
 man, whose character had not improved in my 
 estimation on hearing he was then hiding from 
 the grasping clutches of the Bow-street officers. 
 In fact it was pretty evident that, be it devil or 
 man who exercised unhmited power over my 
 actions, it was certainly intended to deprive me 
 of liberty, at least ; and, for all I knew to the 
 contrar}% it might be of life also. 
 
 Such disagreeable reflections are far from 
 pleasant companions; and I felt unspeakable 
 relief when, in a short time, I heard the key turn 
 in the lock of my prison door ; and my fair gaoler 
 re-appeared, bringing with her a certainly not very 
 palatable description of breakfast : yet, notwith- 
 standing my apprehensions and alarm, I managed 
 to alleviate my hunger in a very visible manner. 
 
 VOL. I. E
 
 71 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Having finished my repast, I again implored 
 to be told the reason of my detention ; but 
 though the voice and manner of my companion 
 e^ inced much kind feeling and sympathy for my 
 situation^ still what little intelligence I could 
 gain was delivered in so cautious and reluctant 
 a manner as plainly betrayed the dread she had 
 of implicating those concerned ; and thereby in 
 all probability ensuring her own destruction. 
 
 After much fruitless persuasion it occurred 
 to me that as the door was open, and only a 
 AAoman preventing my departure, there could 
 not, in the present instance, be any great devia- 
 tion from the laws of gallantr}^, were I to attempt 
 as unceremonious an exit as had been my en- 
 trance, but this was not so easy of accomplish- 
 ing; for, as if my intention was legibly depicted 
 on my countenance, the fair lady instantly took 
 UD her original position— assuring me that it 
 was quite useless attempting an escape, as both
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 75 
 
 my looks and movements indicated; for even 
 were I to force my way to the stair-case^ one cry 
 of warning from her voice would immediately 
 summon to her aid far more unfriendly inter- 
 ference than she had already manifested^ and was 
 still anxious to bestow. Convinced of the evident 
 probability of the truth of her assertion, I en- 
 deavoured to interest her in my behalf; and 
 related all the circumstances connected with my 
 captivity until my senses forsook me in the fray 
 of the previous night. So far from expressing 
 astonishment at my story, she was evidently as 
 well acquainted with it as myself, and indeed 
 far better ; as she informed me, when the pohce 
 rushed in to separate the combatants, I had 
 been carried out by some persons from motives 
 best known to themselves, and deposited where 
 I then was. ^^ However,'^ she added when again 
 about to leave the room, " if you obey my in- 
 structions without asking any questions, the 
 
 E 2
 
 76 ADVEXTrr»ES OF 
 
 answers to which may imphcate others, and 
 cannot benefit you, I will endeavour to release 
 you as soon as it becomes dark — but to attempt 
 to depart now would involve yoU in certain de- 
 struction. At present danger is abroad ; and to 
 this circumstance are you indebted for your 
 safety ; but as soon as the alarm has subsided, 
 so soon must you expect to encounter a fai- 
 different treatment, if found within these walls. 
 Trust implicitly to me — I have many and 
 weighty reasons why I should strain every nerve 
 to serve you ; and, though a stranger to your 
 remembrance, God knows, I have reason enough 
 to recollect those belonging to you. But enough 
 of this — expect me about twilight, and till then 
 farewell.^^ 
 
 Again was I left to my solitary meditations ; 
 and a most disagreeable occupation it was ; 
 and much I marvelled what had become of my 
 pleasant companion of the previous evening ;
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 77 
 
 but not for one moment did I allow myself to 
 entertain a doubt of his being the open-hearted, 
 agreeable fellow I had fancied him. 
 
 Wearied with pacing the narrow precints of 
 my den, I at length sat down on the miserable 
 couch ; and, weary from the blows received, 
 and the wine I had swallowed over night, I fell 
 fast asleep, and was only disturbed by finding 
 some person pulling violently at what remained 
 of what was once my coat. Springing instantly 
 on my feet, I found, rather by the voice than by 
 occular demonstration, for it was now nearly 
 dark, that the girl who had visited me twice 
 was now for the third time before me; when 
 desiring me to be silent, and not utter a syllable, 
 ^she took me by the hand, and together we com- 
 menced descending the stairs. This I found no 
 easy matter, and had it not been for the inti- 
 mate acquaintance of my guide with the ad- 
 jacent localities, I should have made but one
 
 78 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 step to the ground-floor of the mansion, thereby 
 saving those two excellent worthies, Black Jem 
 and the Devil, any further anxiety as to my 
 disposal. Stealthily and in the dark, we groped 
 our way down a broken, creaking stair-case, so 
 narrow as scarcely to admit two persons abreast ; 
 but the bannisters having long since departed 
 from their station, it was a matter of no little 
 danger for even one individual to wind his way 
 down the rotten and greasy steps. Not a hght 
 was visible, and not a sound met my ear, until 
 we reached the third landing-place from the 
 top, when I distinguished voices in the distance, 
 and caught the faint ray of a lamp emerging 
 from the obscurity below. In a low whisper, 
 my guide again warned me against the impro- 
 priety of speaking, and once more we pursued 
 our way. 
 
 We had now reached the bottom of the 
 building, and the spot whence the hght issued
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. ' 7^^ 
 
 ^vas made manifest. Suddenly, my conductor 
 pressed my hand as if to attract my obser- 
 vation ; and, following the direction of her 
 gaze, I plainly discovered the figure of a man 
 sitting with his back towards the half open 
 door, near which we were standing, and my 
 astonishment was not a little increased in recog- 
 nizing, by his costume, my friend of the shaggy- 
 coat of the evening before. He was speaking 
 in a thick, indistinct voice, plainly denoting that 
 his ruminations of that evening had not been 
 made over an empty tankard. He was dressed 
 in exactly the same manner as when I saw him 
 before, the only addition to his appearance then 
 being a long clay pipe, which, in the interv^als 
 between his attempts at conversation, he en- 
 deavoured quite as unsuccessfully to Hght. In 
 fact he was approaching to a state of intense 
 drunkenness. Who his companion was I had 
 not an opportunity of seeing, as, the door being
 
 so ADVEXTUIIE.S OV 
 
 but half open^ he was completely hidden from 
 my view ; and as I glided silently along the 
 uneven passage, closely following my conductor, 
 I felt convinced I had beheld in the person of 
 my shaggy - coated acquaintance, either Black 
 Jem or the Devil. Our progress still continued 
 down lanes of filth and passages of darkness ; 
 and more than one court was crossed in our 
 journey, from which, had I not had the protec- 
 tion of my female friend, I much doubt if ever 
 I should have issued. As it was, no one mo- 
 lested us : a few signs of recognition passed 
 betw^een my companion and those we met ; and 
 before we completely took leave of those dreary 
 and awful abodes of human wTetchedness and 
 guilt, a shawl and bonnet were thrown over 
 her less handsome habiliments, and my fair 
 conductress and myself, issuing from a dark, 
 noisome alley, entered on the centre of a broad, 
 well-lighted street. No time was given me for
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 81 
 
 exclamations of delight, on finding myself at 
 liberty, for, just as I was raising my voice to call 
 a coach from the neighbouring stand, I was 
 promptly reminded of my promise of silence ; 
 and, putting her arm through mine, she hurried 
 me up one street and down another leaving me 
 as much in doubt as to the locahties around as 
 I was when in my dungeon. Thus we continued 
 at a rapid pace, for perhaps nearly an hour, 
 w^hen, stopping before a large illuminated build- 
 ing, to my inexpressible joy I recognized the 
 White Horse Cellar, where not more than thirty 
 hours since I had been deposited by honest 
 Jack Moody. 
 
 "There,^^ said my conductress, pointing to 
 the hotel, " There, if I mistake not, is your 
 present home. I have conducted you out of 
 imminent danger. I have brought you safely 
 to your place of abode, and now farewell.^^ 
 
 " Yet, stay an instant,^^ I exclaimed, " you 
 
 E 5
 
 82 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 have well and nobly fulfilled your promise ; 
 but let me not be so far outdone in generosity 
 as to leave you without offering some trifling 
 reward for aU you have undertaken. Let me 
 but go over to my inn, and I will speedily 
 return, and willingly beg your acceptance of 
 whatever I may be enabled to offer/^ 
 
 "Oh! no! no !^^ she replied, " I want no 
 reward beyond the consciousness ' of having 
 acted rightly/ God knows what I have suffered 
 and still must suffer ; I must return instantly, 
 or my absence will be noticed ; and, in all pro- 
 babihty, suspicion wiU fall on me. But, ere I 
 go, listen to my warning, and mark well my 
 words ! There are those who would gladly end 
 your young career, even though it has but just 
 commenced — enemies surround you, and spies 
 dodge your steps — be cautious ! above all, trust 
 to no casual acquaintances — I dare not be more 
 expHcit.^^
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 83 
 
 " But why this mystery ?'^ I replied, feehiig 
 deeply interested in the young creature, down 
 whose pale face the tears were rapidly stealing. 
 '•Why do you not quit that horrible spot I 
 found you in? I have the means and the will 
 also to befriend you — only tell me how I can 
 aid you? And, if within the possibility of my 
 influence, you shall not find me ungrateful. 
 Perhaps you imagine I am boasting of having 
 that in my power which is beyond my reach, 
 but-^^ 
 
 " Far from it,^' she rephed : '^ I know but too 
 well each circumstance connected with you, else 
 had I not dared to do that which I have accom- 
 plished to-night. Urge me no more,^' she 
 continued, perceiving my anxiety to press her 
 further on the subject; "Let it suffice for you 
 to know that it is beyond the power of mortal 
 to aid me. Your prospects are bright, and 
 augur long years of feUcity, should you escai)e
 
 84 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 the meshes spread around you. For me there 
 is no hope here, and/' added the poor girl in a 
 low desponding tone, " perhaps none hereafter." 
 
 A thousand schemes ran though my mind, 
 as I gazed on her beautiful countenance, up- 
 turned towards heaven, as though the unfortu- 
 nate waited in hopes of receiving some mental 
 encouragement which her quivering lip dared 
 not sue for. Many a plan did I propose for 
 her welfare ; but, owing to my utter ignorance 
 of the metropolis, aU of them must undoubtedly 
 have been romantically absurd, and out of the 
 possibility of achieving. 
 
 However unacquainted I might have been 
 with the customs and usages of the great world, 
 wherein I found myself suddenly thrown, I 
 could not be otherwise than sensible of the 
 benefit I had already derived at the hands of 
 my fair friend ; and, from the various hints she 
 had thrown out, and the thorough knowledge
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 85 
 
 which she appeared to possess of what prin- 
 cipally concerned myself, I was naturally im- 
 pressed with a feeling of great interest in her 
 behalf; and, although, when offering all the 
 assistance in my power to befriend her, I was 
 as much in earnest as regai'ded my anxiety and 
 wiUingness to save her as I have felt on any 
 occasion during my existence, yet so vague 
 and undefined were my ideas as to the mode in 
 w^hic^ the object w^as to be accompUshed, that, 
 had my proposal been accepted, I should have 
 been as much at a loss to know w^hat to do, as 
 I was two hours before when locked up in my 
 abominable prison. I was, however, spared the 
 necessity of racking my brains on that score ; 
 for in few, but decided, words, I was quickly 
 informed of the determination of my guide 
 to return forthwith whence she came; and 
 though I marvelled much, and loudly, what 
 attraction she could find in so horrible a hole.
 
 86 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 it was evident her intention was not to be 
 thwarted^ and while I yet endeavoured to stagger 
 her resolution^ she quickly slid round the corner, 
 and, instantly mixing wdth the throng of people 
 on the pathway, was finally lost to my sight. 
 
 As for attempting to follow her, that, I was 
 fully convinced, could not be attended with 
 success ; since, had I even been acquainted w ith 
 the localities, I rightly judged it would be 
 matter of no small difficulty to force my guide 
 to enter Hatchett^s against her inclination ; and, 
 to say truth, I felt in an}i:hing but a humour for 
 sallying forth on a fresh Quixotic expedition. I 
 therefore prepared to re-enter my temporary 
 abode, and there endeavour to satisfy those per- 
 tinaceous cravings of hunger with which I had 
 for some hours past been assailed. 
 
 Some one has remarked, and most truly, that, 
 dreadful as it may sound, and revolting as it 
 may appear, to record the unromantic circum-
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 8/ 
 
 stance of eating, yet the most refined hero of 
 a tale, in common with the menial-minded of 
 the lowest grade, must still be fed. And though 
 I wiUingly gave myself credit for ha\dng, during 
 my short sojurn in town, already figured as the 
 principal in an affair by no means divested of 
 mystery; nevertheless, when the bandy-legged 
 waiter, who on the previous night e^dnced such 
 anxiety respecting my luggage placed before me 
 a most substantial supper, flanked on one side 
 by the produce of Messrs. Barclay and Perkins^ 
 ingenuity, and on the other by a bottle of ex- 
 cellent claret; it would have required a great 
 deal of argument before I could have felt con- 
 vinced that the substantial advantages I saw 
 before me were not of considerable more im- 
 port than the most romantic epoch of my late 
 adventure. 
 
 My supper finished, I gladly retired to rest ; 
 and, not^^^thstanding the loud snoring of the
 
 88 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 watchman — for the London Police had not then 
 commenced their existence, I was speedily car- 
 ried to the land of forgetfulness, from which 
 region I was not recalled till the sun had made 
 considerable progress in his journey on the 
 following morning.
 
 HARRY AVSTIX. 89 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 When seated at breakfast the following morn- 
 ing in my solitar}^ box, the waiter, grinning, I 
 suppose, at the recollection of the woefiil plight 
 in which I returned th^ previous evening, laid a 
 small parcel on the table, directed in a lady^s 
 hand-writing. My name was properly spelt ; 
 and even the nomenclature of the hotel in- 
 scribed beneath. I commenced opening the 
 packet, much man^elling what lady could possi- 
 bly have occasion to address me ; and how mv 
 place of abode could already have been dis- 
 covered ; since the only day I had been in town
 
 90 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 had passed under the not very hospitable roof 
 of those two respected gentlemen, Black Jem 
 and the Devil. Two or three envelopes sur- 
 rounded the contents of the parcel; and my 
 delight was fully equal to my astonishment, 
 when, at length, I reached a piece of silver 
 paper, in which, neatly \ATapped up, I again 
 beheld my mother's miniature, accompanied by 
 a few lines, the brevity of which, together with 
 the mysterious warning they contained, were 
 any thing but satisfactory. The note ran thus, 
 ' You are surrounded with dangers — trust to 
 no casual acquaintance — avoid strangers, — and 
 leave London as soon as possible.' 
 
 Of course, I was at no loss to guess from 
 \A hom the locket and the warning came ; nor 
 could I doubt but the caution was well meant ; 
 and, as regarded the assertion of the proximity 
 to danger, I had already experienced ample 
 proof that there was some one or more persons
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 91 
 
 who, from some unkno^vn motive, thought tit 
 to e^dnce any thing but amicable feeUngs 
 towards me ; but what those motives were, and 
 what the circumstances that gave rise to them, 
 I was totally unenlightened. 
 
 In this unen\dable position, I bethought me 
 what would be my best mode of proceeding ; 
 not feehng in the least inchned to undergo 
 a similar process of initiation to that abeady 
 experienced. 
 
 Pondering over my dilemma, I suddenly re- 
 membered my benevolent friend, who had so 
 kindly accompanied me to the theatre, and 
 never doubting but he had called during the 
 previous day, I interrogated the waiter on the 
 point. 
 
 " No, sir," rephed he to my enquiries, " No 
 gentleman enquired for you yesterday." 
 
 " No !" repeated I, ^^ that ^s very strange ! Do 
 you remember the gentleman who drank three
 
 92 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 bottles of claret here the other night with me?" 
 
 " Oh ! yes, sir, perfectly ; and it 's down in 
 your hilV 
 
 '^ My bill !" I rephed, " what do you put it 
 down in my bill for ? the gentleman invited me 
 to partake of the wine, therefore, at all events, 
 place half to his account, — otherwise he^U feel 
 extremely annoyed at it/^ 
 
 ^^ Not he,^' responded the knight of the nap- 
 kin, cocking his eye, and sticking his tongue in 
 his right cheek, as he recognised the dirty face 
 of the animal denominated '^the Boots,^ g^*^!^- 
 ning through the glass door of the coffee-room, 
 at the Griffin. "Lord! sir," he continued, 
 " don't be such a flat as to come for to go for 
 to think he 'd be offended at that. Not he, I 
 warrant ; besides, sir, the gem'map, as you call 
 him, arn't got no chalk here." 
 
 " Why not ?" I exclaimed, quite in the dark 
 as to the fellow's meaning ; " he told me he 
 had."
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 93 
 
 " Did he ? oh ! Hkely enough^ sir ; " and 
 again the changer of plates chuckled in a most 
 knowing and satisfactory way to himself 
 
 ^'^ Yes ;^' I replied^ getting rather irate^ fi'om 
 a sort of instinctive feeling that the brute was 
 laughing at, not \^-ith, me. '^ The gentleman 
 said so ; and what reason have you for contra- 
 dicting his assertion ?^' 
 
 " Oh^ lord ! sir, only because we knows him 
 too well to trust him, that 's my reason/^ And 
 hereupon, with a second significant wink to his 
 Mend at the glass door, he forthwith proceeded 
 to snatch up the remnant of my repast ; 
 balancing, as none but a tavern waiter can, 
 about three dishes on each arm, and, wdth the 
 napkin thrown over his shoulder, uttering the 
 ciy peculiar to his species of ' Coming ! sir, 
 coming ! ? he left me to the not very pleasing 
 conviction that I had been made, as Jonathan 
 would say, 'a pretty, considerable, damned, 
 enormous fool of.'
 
 94 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Satisfied in my own mind as to the correct- 
 ness of the conclusion I had arrived at, and 
 while gazing listlessly out of the windo\^, 
 eschewing my disagreeable reflections, to my 
 great delight, I beheld walking on the opposite 
 side of the street, my old Eton friend and 
 companion, Charles Villiers, who had left that 
 receptacle of wisdom but a few months^ back, 
 in exchange for the arduous duties imposed on 
 an Ensign in the Grenadier Guards. 
 
 In an instant I reached the door; and, much 
 to the annoyance of divers itinerant venders of 
 oranges and pen-knives, whose daily vocation 
 consisted in pestering, to their uttermost, all 
 locomotive unfortunates, whose destiny drew 
 them to that emporium of vehicles, the White 
 Horse Cellar, I continued the pursuit, till, 
 overtaking my friend, who appeared as much 
 delighted at the meeting as myself, I retraced 
 my steps, and, with Charley Villiers by my side,
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 95 
 
 was soon again stationed in my wooden stall. 
 Here then, I concluded, would end my diffi- 
 culties, doubts, and dangers. Who, thought I, 
 can be so fit a person to initiate me in all the 
 mysteries of the metropoUs as a dashing young 
 officer of the guards ? and, accordingly, I forth- 
 with commenced my narrative, and ended by 
 requesting his assistance in tracing the abode of 
 my fair incognita, whose unaccountable interest 
 in my behalf had created a strong desire for 
 further information. 
 
 ^^ Well," said my friend, who, by the by, was 
 about as ignorant of the world as myself; he 
 having been somewhat less than two months 
 cast loose from the trammels of home, ^^ this is 
 a strange story of yours, Hany; but what 
 seems to me the most singular part is that, 
 having escaped fi'om so infernal a hole, as you 
 represent your prison to have been, you are 
 still anxious to revisit it."
 
 9G ADVENTURES OF 
 
 ^' I am/^ I replied^ " most anxious ; for is it 
 not strange that this girl, whom, until yesterday, 
 I never beheld in the whole course of n^y life, 
 should not only have known every circumstance 
 connected with myself, but should likewise have 
 proved her knowledge to have been equally 
 extensive with regard to my family ? Moreover, 
 I am grateful to her for the kind assistance she 
 afforded me, and am fearful that the poor crea- 
 ture may have suffered ill treatment on that 
 account." 
 
 ^' As to that," answered Villiers, " make your- 
 self easy. On the latter score, take my word 
 for it, she wasn't fool enough to thrust her head 
 into a scrape without being pretty confident as 
 to the mode of getting it out again — if, indeed, 
 she ran any risk whatever — for, my dear fellow," 
 continued he, assuming a most patronizing and 
 significant look, " I don't feel quite sure but the 
 \N hole thing was got up for some sinister purpose.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 9? 
 
 which, in due time, will develope itself — you are 
 quite sure you were robbed ?" 
 
 '^ No mistake there/^ I replied ; " but whether 
 in that infernal place, where the woman caught 
 fire, or if afterwards, when locked up in the 
 disgusting apartment, it is impossible for me 
 to say." 
 
 *^ WelV continued my friend, smiling, ^^ and 
 are you quite sure you were licked, Harry ?" 
 
 ^^ No mistake there, either,'^ I responded, as, 
 indeed, my aching bones could well testify ; " but 
 come, I suppose, by this time, you know all the 
 mysteries of the metropolis ; and, as good luck 
 has thrown you in my way, to you must I look 
 for extrication from my difficulties." 
 
 '' All right, Harry," laughed my jocular com- 
 panion ; ^^ VW. try, what^s to be done ; leave it all 
 to me — I doubt not but, sooner or later, w^e'U 
 ferret out your Princess of Romance. But sup- 
 pose we interrogate the waiter as to his knowledge 
 
 VOL. I. F
 
 98 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 of youi' self-invited friend, the claret-drinker ?" 
 And, accordingly, that amiable functionary was 
 foiihwith summoned, but he either could not, or 
 ^^ ould not, enhghten us farther than by assuring 
 us that all he knew of the respected individual 
 was from having frequently seen him in the 
 coffee-room, and as frequently heard him accost 
 persons on their arrival ; and generally he suc- 
 ceeded in ingratiating himself with strangers, as 
 was the case with my humble self — " but,^^ con- 
 tinued the w^aiter, ^^ as he has never committed 
 himself in any way when here, my master 
 cannot prevent his coming into the pubhc room, 
 and, though appearances are against him, still 
 there is nothing which we can decidedly allege 
 to his discredit/^ 
 
 No further knowledge to be gained in that 
 quarter, our conversation turned into different 
 channels ; until, at length, struck with a new 
 light, the gay Guardsman, assuming an air of
 
 HAIlTiY AuItIi/. 99 
 
 uncontrollable astonishment, exclaimeli— ^^ But, 
 my dear fellow, allow me to ask you how, in the 
 name of all that's horrible, did you find your 
 way to such a house as this ? And, now I think 
 of it, I only trust to God no one saw me coming 
 in, and, by all that's abominable, here I shall 
 ha\'e to wait till dark, for fear of any one seeing 
 me when going out !" 
 
 ^^ Why, what's the matter wdth the place ?" 
 I exclaimed, fearful of being contaminated 'wdth 
 some horrible disorder. " What do you mean, 
 VilHers?" 
 
 " Mean ! Why I mean that no one comes 
 here but people who explore foreign countries, 
 such as Fulham, Twickenham, Esher, and so 
 on — and they come in search of the two horse 
 powers which do mightily congregate in these 
 parts/^ 
 
 '' Oh !" I replied, laughing, ^^is that all? 1 
 had begun to fancy myself already innoculated 
 
 F 2
 
 100 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 with some most pestilential fever — for yoii 
 appeared possessed with such a pious horror of 
 the place. But where shall I go? To what 
 place do you recommend me ?'^ 
 
 '^ Oh ! there are ten thousand places to go to 
 preferable to this — I hope it Avon't be known 
 3^ou^ve been here — for^ gad ! I much doubt if 
 your regiment would receive you^ if the thing 
 were made public ; and none could blame them^ 
 either — so the sooner you're off the better^ 
 my boy.'' 
 
 '• With all my heart/' I replied^ not a little 
 amused at my friend Charley's sensibility, 
 " But you don't tell me where to go to ?" 
 
 " Go to ' Steven's/ ' Long's/ or the ' Claren- 
 don.' " 
 
 ^^ What !" answered I^ " all three at once ! 
 Surely, one at a time is enough, isn't it ? Sup- 
 |)ose I say ^ Steven's ?' " And Steven's accord- 
 ingly was fixed on.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 101 
 
 Little time was requisite for collecting my 
 travelling property^ and paying my biU ; and it 
 was w*itli no great feeling of regret I left my 
 wooden box in the coiFee-room^ and prepared to 
 enter the hackney coach that waited for me. 
 
 " Come along^ Vilhers/^ I exclaimed, taking'- 
 him by the arm, " you^U go with me ? Come, 
 jump in ;" and forthwith I essayed to urge him 
 forwai'd towards the crazy vehicle waiting to 
 receive us. But no such thing — Yilliers seemed 
 to have taken as great an aversion to the four- 
 wheeled conveyance as he had imbibed against 
 the unoffending mansion of entertainment. 
 
 " Me, get in a jarvey by dayhght !'^ he ex- 
 claimed, shrinking back in an agony of distress. 
 '' Gad ! my dear Harry, you want to ruin me 
 in toto. Fd as soon dine with a scavenger as 
 be seen in one of those inventions of Satan in 
 the glare of day. Upon my word, you ask too 
 much ; but never mind ; I'll meet you at Steven's 
 at eight.'"
 
 102 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 « Not till eight ?'' I replied ; " why what on 
 earth do you mean to do with yourself till then ?^^ 
 
 ^^ Stay here, to be sure/^ was his reply ; *^ it^s 
 a hundred to one against my escaping without 
 being seen at this time of day ; and I confi- 
 dently trust to your honour not to betray me — 
 I should be done — cut — and ruined, if the club 
 knew it/^ i')jii 
 
 Finding all remonstrance useless, I drove o% 
 leaving the handsome Guardsman grinning 
 through the green Venetian blinds in Hatchett^s 
 coffee-room, something after the fashion of a 
 mouse in a wire cage. And yet this extra refined 
 gentleman, whose sensitive nature was completely 
 \mhinged at the bare idea of entering a hackney 
 coach by dayhght, was, in a few^ months after- 
 wards, made honourable mention of for as dashing 
 a display of gallantry as was ever witnessed, when, 
 with a mere handful of men, he endeavoured to 
 capture a couple of French guns at Barrosa, in
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 103 
 
 which encounter my friend Charley had his arm 
 broken; and the neatest httle hole imaginable 
 drilled through his carcass, by the instrumen- 
 tality of a foreign artist in the shape of a huge 
 French Grenadier. rr^<^^ ^rrred 
 
 In brief space, I reached Steven^s — and was 
 duly installed in a small^ but comfortable apart- 
 ment : and here let me diverge for one instant 
 from my story, as the occurrences of many a 
 joyous hour passed in that renowned edifice 
 spring to my recollection. Oh ! Scott and 
 Freeman — where are now those sounds of 
 festive revelry which in days of yore were wont 
 to echo round your walls ? Where, those dear, 
 delicious, indigestible suppers, whose savoury 
 prognostics never failed in summoning their 
 votaries on the Opera nights ? And where ! oli 
 where ! are now the many beings, the absence 
 of any of whom from the festive board was in- 
 variably deplored as a far greater misfortune
 
 104 ADVENTURES OF ' 
 
 than would have been by them considered the 
 announcement of a National bankruptcy ? And^ 
 Freeman, where, oh ! w^here, has gone the 
 famous bin of " Pale, old Port ?' 
 
 Who is there that cannot remember the 
 eccentric owner of the well appointed team when 
 driving about from place to place, expressing in 
 a most ludicrous manner his grief at the unto- 
 ward fate of his " poor diseased friend" — whose 
 body, after two days' immersion in the Thames, 
 was recognised by the heel of his Iloby boot 
 sticking up at low water mark ? And few people 
 of that day can have forgotten the handsome 
 Lancer who diurnally seated himself to dinner 
 with his three Blenheim spaniels ; covers being 
 always laid for four. Where, indeed, are hun- 
 dreds more, who, in their time, have strutted 
 their brief hour on that stage; but who 'have 
 long since passed from it for ever ? Death, — 
 Clubs, the — and the Bench, could, ^^ ith but few
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 105 
 
 exceptions^ account for all. And lastly, but not 
 least, let me not forget the thousand excellencies 
 of that Emperor of gnUs and devil'd bones. Old 
 Turner ! Peace to your manes ! you, too, have 
 gone from us. And if all the sojourners upon 
 earth were to perform then- duties as honestly 
 and conscientiously as you executed the humble 
 trust reposed in you, we should have many 
 better men and — many better waiters. 
 . Punctual to his apointment Charley Villiers 
 made his appearance at eight, ha^dng fortunately 
 effected his escape unseen, fi'om the contami- 
 nating Hatchett's: and hardly had we com- 
 menced an animated and practical discussion on 
 the merits of the various delicacies arranged be- 
 fore us, when the sound of a rapidly approachf^j^. 
 ing carnage met our ears — and in an instant ao^^j,, 
 open landau, with four posters, dashed up t€^^{^ 
 the door. 
 
 Immersed in furs, and armed to the tetth 
 
 F 5
 
 106 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 with coats, cloaks, and shawls of various de- 
 scriptions, two travellers entered the apartment, 
 one of whom, being recognised by Villiers, was 
 i^peedily introduced by the name, style, and title 
 of Sir Terence O'Darmagh, who, together with 
 his brother cornet, had posted up from their 
 Regiment, with no other apparent purpose than 
 having to undergo the pains and pleasures of an 
 immediate return, for, being, as they affirmed, 
 the only Irishmen, except the Colonel, in the 
 Corps, they declared it to be their fixed intention 
 to return in time for mess, on the following day, 
 with a most praiseworthy determination of 
 doing their utmost in honour of the anniversary 
 of their patron Saint. 
 
 Accordingly they proceeded to put in practice 
 this laudable resolution, by ordering fresh horses 
 to be at the door by ten that night. Meanwhile, 
 having divested themselves of their superfluous 
 apparel, they forthwith prepared to make the 
 best use of the short interval allotted to them.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 10? 
 
 Ill the days of which I am now writing, the 
 pernicious habit of drinking to excess flourished 
 in all its zenith ; and no where were its votaries 
 to be found in greater numbers than in the 
 army. This may be accounted for in many ways ; 
 but, as I do not profess to inflict my readers 
 with an essay on this abominable vice, accom- 
 panied with a catalogue of its many concomitant 
 evils, — I will refrain from diving into the ca^se, 
 and content myself with stating the effect. »» 
 
 Thank God, the days are gone when, imme- 
 diately after dinner, the dining-room door was 
 locked, and the key thrown out of window ; 
 when he who could swallow most wine \yas 
 accounted the best fellow ; and when to refuse 
 placing oneself on a level with a beast was tan- 
 tamount to a withdrawal from society. 
 
 An officei^s mess table of the present day, and 
 an officers' mess table some thirty years back, 
 were two very opposite affairs ; and as one
 
 108 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 description of the latter may serve as a type of 
 all, I will presently recount the proceedings of 
 the members of this truly gallant Regiment., on 
 the memorable l7th of March, 1813. When, at 
 the pressing solicitations of the two worthy 
 dragoons, we agreed to return with them that 
 night to the head quarters of their Corps ; in 
 order that we might aid and abet in the solemni- 
 zation of the orgies destined to take place the 
 following evening. 
 
 Merrily we aU sat down together ; and though 
 the dragoons took little or no notice of me, not> 
 withstanding the correct Eton tye of my cloth, 
 which I rather flattered myself was as superior 
 to their huge, black countei-panes, as the comfort 
 of Steven^s was to my shake-down, in the man- 
 sion of Black Jem, the Devil & Co., yet the 
 moment they discovered I was in reality a 
 soldier, and moreover, a bona fide gazetted 
 Hussar, every symptom of ceremony vanished ;
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 109 
 
 and in a few minutes I felt as if I had known 
 them for years. a^ 
 
 '- What's to be done now ?" exclaimed the 
 Baronet^ glancing at the ancient clock ensconced 
 it its mahogany frame over the fire-place. 
 '' Here we have finished dinner — nothing to do 
 — it's only nine ; and the cari'iage is'nt ordered 
 till ten. And now I think of it, Holkam, my 
 boy/^ he continued addi'essmg his fellow traveller 
 who was busily employed in di\ing into the 
 mysteries of a long-necked bottle of Chateau 
 Margeaux, "what the de\'il did you order the 
 horses at ten for ? We've only one hundred and 
 twenty miles to go; and the devil's in it if we 
 can't get down by seven, even should we not 
 start till five." 
 
 " That's all veiy well," responded the gallant^ 
 veteran of some seventeen or eighteen years' 
 standing in this fluctuating world, "but re- 
 member what the Colonel said, when I told him
 
 110 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 we were under the necessity of coming up to 
 town in order to get a proper supply of the real 
 cj^atur for Patrick^s day/' 
 
 "Well, what did he say?" exclaimed Charley 
 Villiers and myself simultaneously. 
 
 " Oh, he said," answered the cornet in a low 
 confidential tone, " I've no objection, my dear 
 Holkam, to ijour going any where, but I can't 
 trust Sir Terence without he has some steady 
 going fellow with him." 
 
 ^^ Then, how the devil did I get leave ?" cried 
 out Sir Terence. 
 
 "Simply, my dear Sir," responded the 
 Comet, " because I promised to accompany you." 
 
 " You, indeed," shouted Sir Terence ; " Come 
 that is good ; but never mind, I'll bet you three 
 to two, in twenties, that you get into some scrape 
 before we leave town yet." 
 
 "You will, will you?" replied the other, 
 hugging the huge magnum of claret as a bear
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. HI 
 
 would fondle her cub, ^^done, most worthy 
 Baronet f and, forthwith, each pulled out his 
 memorandum book, an article considered indis- 
 pensible in those days ; and down went the bet 
 in due form. 
 
 So assiduously did we devote ourselves to the 
 duty of decreasing the weight of the magnum, 
 that it was soon judged indispensibly necessary 
 to summon the veteran Turner to the task of 
 replenishing the vessel ; when, on enquuy being 
 made by the Comet as to the proximity of some 
 spot wherein amusement might be purchased, 
 w^e discovered that a public masquerade would 
 take place that night ; and, accordingly, it was 
 unanimously agreed that our time would be 
 spent far more advantageously in viewing the 
 motley proceedings than in swallowing Free- 
 man's wine, much to his advantage and our 
 detriment, until the period should arrive for the 
 appearance of the carriage at the door.
 
 112 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 As to going to bed_, that was an uncertain 
 proceeding, which at this epoch was looked 
 upon as an occasional necessity, but by no means 
 
 '■J-:-. ! 
 
 as an indispensible matter of course. So, having 
 finished our wine, and procured dominoes and 
 masks, we salhed out in quest of adventures, and 
 were soon mixing with as crowded and motley 
 a concatenation of mortals as could be found 
 even at the Venetian Carnival. 
 
 I have already said that the period of which I 
 am now treating is not of very recent date ; and 
 so greatly have the forms and customs of society 
 changed, within the last few years, that those 
 places of amusement which were wont to be 
 frequented and eagerly sought for by men en- 
 titled, and in the fullest sense of the word, to 
 the appellation of gentlemen, are now forsaken 
 and deserted save by a very inferior description 
 of being — one whose ability of procuring ad- 
 mission into any society extends not beyond
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 113 
 
 that sphere of dissipation where the attention 
 bestowed and the welcome given keep exact 
 pace with the fluctuating state of the visitor^s 
 purse^ and his readiness in squandering his 
 wealth upon the most \dcious and degraded 
 creatures in existence. 
 
 Late in the evenings when annoyed by the 
 excessive heat of the rooms^ I had retired to a 
 small recess ; and sat watching the antics of a 
 group of buffoons^ who seemed anxious to make 
 themselves the most conspicuous party present ; 
 and which distinction — if to be arrived at by an 
 extra superabundance of noise and bad jokes — 
 they decidedly succeeded in attaining. A figure, 
 dressed in the garb of a Carmehte friar, seated 
 himself in a vacant chair next me. 
 
 Now it so happens I have always, even up to 
 this day, been imbued mth a laudable thirst 
 for information, or what, perchance, some old- 
 fashioned people might denominate curiosity;
 
 114' ADVENTURES OP 
 
 yet, by whatever name this strong inclination for 
 seizing each opportunity of increasing my know- 
 ledge may be described, still the feeling remains 
 a predominant one in my nature : and, as my 
 three friends had each departed, bent on their 
 own particular amusements, I thought a good 
 opportunity now offered for gratifying my excited 
 curiosity ; and when it is remembered that this 
 was the first time I had witnessed any thing 
 approaching to what was then before my eyes, 
 my anxiety might in this instance be pardoned. 
 
 "Pray, Sir,^^ I commenced, bowing to my 
 neighbour the Friar, " may I request you will 
 inform me what characters those persons now 
 dancing and laughing so boisterously are sup- 
 posed to represent ?" 
 
 " Sir ?^^ replied the Carmehte turning quickly 
 round, and eyeing me through the small windows 
 of his mask. 
 
 I accordingly repeated the question, my
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 115 
 
 neighbour all the while gazing fixedly at me ; 
 but his scrutiny seemed to be of httle avail, as 
 indeed how could it have been otherwise ? since 
 ray mask was intended to represent the back of 
 the head ; and consequently presented nothing 
 but a mass of shaggy, black hair with two small 
 apertures for the purpose of enabling the wearer 
 to see, as if it were, behind him : the Domino 
 likewise was made to fasten in rear, so that in 
 fact, when moving about the room, I had the 
 appearance of a man walking backwai'ds. 
 
 " The group concerning which you enquire," 
 replied he of the sacerdotal habit, ^^ is intended 
 to represent moms - dancers ; but, fi'om the 
 question, may I be permitted to infer I am 
 conversing mth a gentleman to whom such 
 scenes as those before us have not as yet lost 
 their novelty ?" >^9 f,fi8 ^hava 
 
 I was on the point of acknowledging my total 
 ignorance in such matters, when the remem-
 
 116 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 brance of my anonymous warning checked its 
 utterance; evading the question^ therefore, as 
 well as I could, and which the Friar's good 
 breeding prevented him from again urging, we 
 entered into a lengthened conversation, princi- 
 pally respecting the characters who continually 
 passed before us ; and regarding most of whom 
 the pious father related many facetious anec- 
 dotes, which certainly could not have been 
 gathered in a cloister. 
 
 During the time he was speaking, it struck 
 me more than once that the voice was any 
 thing but strange to my ear; but when or 
 where I had before heard it I was wholly at a 
 loss to remember. Again and again I taxed 
 my recollection, but in vain ; yet . the more he 
 spoke, the firmer became my conviction that 
 the Friar could not be altogether unknown to 
 me; but as I was then much more on my 
 guard than was my custom, prior to my incur-
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. II7 
 
 cerating adventure,, I took care, when endea- 
 vouring to discover where we had previously 
 met, not to let drop any hint which could en- 
 able my companion to guess who and what I 
 was. 
 
 ^{^y care and caution on this point appeared 
 quite superfluous, as he neither made any fur- 
 ther advance towards elucidating the name and 
 condition of his new acquaintance, nor chose 
 to take any of the numerous hints I threw out 
 as to the gratification he could afford me by 
 casting off his pasteboard rubicund visage. 
 
 .It was now getting late, and, on my enquir}' 
 as to the exact hour, for I momentarily expected 
 a summons from my friends for a preparatory 
 staii:, the acquiescing carmeHte expressed his 
 readiness to ascertain ; and, having passed . his 
 hand under his capacious, rehgious garb, he 
 extracted therefrom his elucidation of father 
 Time's movements, and held up to my wonder-
 
 118 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 ing eyes, my own gold watch ! the gift of my 
 old Guadaloupe uncle, and the identical trinket 
 which vanished from my pocket during my 
 memorable exploits on the pre\'ious night. 
 
 At first I was so much astonished at the re- 
 appearance of my old friend, that I gazed at its 
 well-remembered countenance, without uttering 
 a word ; but in an instant my desire to repos- 
 sess the property overcame my prudence, and, 
 uttering an exclamation not very complimen- 
 tary to my friend of the religious habit, I made 
 a sudden and somewhat \iolent spring towards 
 the coveted object. But it does not always fol- 
 low in this world that right is might ; and here, 
 indeed, was a case in point, proving the very 
 reverse : for, quickly darting to one side, the 
 brawny friar eluded my grasp, and at the same 
 time returning with interest the laudatory appel- 
 lation I had honoured him with, he planted 
 his ghostly fingers against my unfortunate face,
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 119 
 
 wliich, considerably shaking my equilibrium, I 
 finally lost my balance, and, in an instant, took 
 a most correct measure of my height and 
 breadth upon the floor. 
 
 Smarting with rage and pain, I quickly 
 sprung to my feet, and started in pursuit of 
 the Caraiehte, fiom whom I had suffered so 
 gross an indignity ; but who feehng, as it ap- 
 peared, perfectly satisfied with the issue of the 
 conflict, had retired from the scene of action 
 immediately on my having assumed my recum- 
 bent position. 
 
 Nothing discouraged at not finding my an- 
 tagonist planted before me, and well knowing 
 it were impossible for him to have gained any 
 great distance, off I went, at the very height of 
 my speed, in search, entirely forgetting the ab- 
 surd figure I must have appeared to the lookers 
 on, who, on beholding a man running from 
 room to room backwards, and with as much
 
 120 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 speed as the crowd would allow, instantly 
 gratified themselves with shouts of laughter; 
 while others, taking me for some ingenious 
 professor from Sadlei^'s Wells, followed in my 
 wake ; and many, desirous of emulating so use- 
 ful a talent, forthwith essayed in imitation of 
 the example before them, to run their career 
 backwards likewise. The consequences were 
 easily foreseen by the more quietly disposed, 
 and as quickly brought to pass by those con- 
 cerned, for two or three dozens of devils, nuns, 
 and harlequins running in every direction, with- 
 out the benefit of their eyes to guide them, and 
 all being totally reckless of consequences, a 
 scene of confusion, annoyance, and remon- 
 strance was occasioned, terminating in a most 
 uproarious row : but, as in this instance I was 
 in a very different state to that in which I 
 found myself on my previous melee, I soon 
 gave up all hope of a reunion with the Friar,
 
 HARRY AUSTIN'. 121 
 
 and bent my thoughts as to the adoption of 
 some mode of escape. 
 
 r 
 
 At this time the remnants of the supper-table, 
 as if elated at the riot, left their appropriated 
 stations, and commenced a series of evolutions 
 in the air. Fowls, that never again expected to 
 fly, suddenly found themselves on the wing — 
 bottles and glasses were spinning in every direc- 
 tion — the watchmen rushing in — the lights 
 going out — and all was chaos. In one comer, 
 Hamlet's father was fighting like a fiend with a 
 headless King Charles, over a disputed lobster- 
 sallad — Amy Robsart had fainted in the DeviFs 
 lap, while Richard the Third and Adam, locked 
 in each others arms, were already hors de combat 
 under the table. 
 
 As for myself, I found the position in which 
 I was placed anything but gratifying: a huge 
 dragon, whose tail I had unwillingly torn off in 
 the scuffle, was exerting his talons to the utmost 
 
 VOL. I. G
 
 122 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 on one side of my poor carcass ; and a humane 
 sister of charity having fixed her dear Httle 
 teeth in the fleshy part of my arm^ sucked at 
 my muscles like a vampire. Meanwhile, some 
 accursed beast, intended to represent a moth — 
 but at least six feet high — Vvorked away at my 
 head with as much good-will and alacrity as 
 his half-pinioned wings would admit of. And, 
 taking the thing for "all in all,'^ I was in an 
 awful phght indeed. 
 
 "Fortune favours the brave,'^ and in this 
 instance the oppressed; forbad she not speedily 
 arrived to my rescue, I must inevitably have 
 found myself an inmate of the watch-house, 
 which delectable habitation we appeared in a 
 fair way of visiting. 
 
 At this instant, when all chance of escape 
 appeared least probable, a Champagne bottle, 
 skimming like a swallow through the air, de- 
 scended with as much force as if propelled from
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 12.5 
 
 a mortar, and sought refuge in the ponderous 
 and extended jaws of my antagonist the dragon, 
 when forcing all his teeth, and at least one third 
 of his face down his throat, the scaly monster 
 uttering a most unearthly groan, dropped sense- 
 less beside the already prostrate Richard. 
 
 Now was my time; and quickly v/as the 
 opportunity made use of, for, shaking off the 
 charitable sister in no veiy delicate manner, I 
 turned all my wrath and muscular strength 
 against the overgrown moth, whose arms being 
 greatly confined by the nature of his dress was 
 of course taken at disadvantage ; and, stepping 
 back two or three paces, and projecting my head 
 hke the end of a battering ram, covered by my 
 two fists, I charged full tilt against the gigantic 
 insect ; and, having fixed upon his well-padded 
 stomach as the point of assault, a breach was 
 instantly effected, and the ponderous fabric 
 levelled with the ground. 
 
 G 2
 
 124 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Free of my agressors^ my progress to ^ Steven's' 
 met with no farther opposition^ and there find- 
 ing my three friends already arrived, we were 
 speedily crossing Westminster Bridge in a hand 
 gallop, through the instrumentality of a guinea 
 a stage to the post-boys.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 125 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 The trumpets were sounding the half hour call 
 before dinner, as our leaders turned into the 
 barrack-yard. And in due time we were all 
 assembled in the reception-room preparatory to 
 commencing the attack on the viands the sav(^ury 
 steam from which announced their rapid approach 
 to the mess-room. 
 
 The party consisted of about thirty persons ; 
 ten or a dozen of whom, like Villiers and my- 
 self, were especially summoned for the occasion, 
 while the remainder was composed of officers of 
 the regiment.
 
 126 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Among the latter, the good-humoured face of 
 the kind-hearted old Colonel shone predominant, 
 notwithstanding the original expression of his 
 mouth had considerably lost somewhat of its 
 pristine placidity, through the effective instru- 
 mentality of a sabre-cut received at Assay e. 
 The Major was a short, dark httle man, with a 
 head more approximating in similitude to that 
 of a bull-frog than to any thing hke a human 
 being ; but the clear bright sparkle of the large 
 hazle eye beamed mth good-humour, and prog- 
 nosticated any thing but a dull and clouded 
 imagination. Half a dozen jolly Subs, with 
 two or three captains, the paymaster, quarter- 
 master, adjutant, and surgeon, completed the 
 head-quarter establishment present ; and most 
 kindly were we received, and cordially welcomed 
 by all. 
 
 Oh ! that never-sufficiently-to-be-deprecated 
 quarter of an hour before dinner — more parti-
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 12/ 
 
 cularly when, finding yourself one of a pai'ty to 
 all of whom, and consequently hy all of whom, 
 you were previously unknown — whereas they.^ 
 on the contrary, being familiarly acquainted 
 with each other, drop into small groups of 
 threes and fours, and then discuss numberless 
 knotty points connected with their local duties, 
 w^hich, even if addressed to the stranger, would 
 to him have |)roved wholly uninteUigible. 
 
 There we stood, anxiously expecting the 
 much-wished-for summons to the feast, when 
 the door flew back on its hinges, and the offi- 
 ciating domestic summoned us to advance — 
 which mandate no one seemed inclined to dis- 
 pute, till the Colonel, rapidly casting his eye 
 round the circle, exclaimed, " Major,- Major, 
 wait an instant — I don^t see your friend here — 
 sure you let him know the hour, and the 
 custom in our sen-ice of waiting for no one ?'^ 
 
 *' He knows it all,'^ replied the second in
 
 128 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 command ; " at least I begged his interpreter 
 fully to explain it ; and, moreover, I caused it 
 to be intimated what sort of an evening's amuse- 
 ment he might look for." 
 
 ^^Then Fll bet ten to one/^ chimed in my 
 cornet of the preceding day's acquaintance, 
 " I'll bet ten to one he don't come." 
 
 "Done with you/' cried out Sir Terence, 
 who, on entering the room, had just caught 
 sufficient of the conversation to infer that there 
 was a bet proffered. 
 
 " Done !" repeated the other ; and again 
 out flew the before-mentioned pocket-books — 
 down went the bet — and then came a solemn 
 silence. 
 
 " Who is this gentleman the Colonel ex- 
 pects ?" demanded I, from a tall pale-faced 
 cornet, all hair and spurs, who, ever since my 
 appearance, had been endeavouring to stick 
 a horse nolens volens out of his stable into anv
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 129 
 
 place I chose to denominate mine — " I conclude 
 he is somebody of note^ since the whole party 
 are kept waiting dinner for him/^ 
 
 "You may say that/^ replied my friend of 
 the pallid visage, " since he has done nothing 
 but take notes of all he sees — for not a syllable 
 can he understand of what he hears — since his 
 an-ival. In fact, about three days since, a 
 devihsh neat dray di'ove up to the Dolphin, and 
 out shot this Persian, Prussian, Russian, or 
 what the devil he is, and his bear-leader ; and, 
 as the Major chanced to have met the latter in 
 Mesopotamia, or St. George's Fields, or some 
 such place, he asked him to dine here to-day, 
 and bring the monster in tow ; and, by all that's 
 barbarous,^^ added my informant, gazing out of 
 the window, " here they come." And true 
 enough — for, on following the direction of my 
 friend^s gaze, I saw a very neat travelling car- 
 riage with post-horses wending its way across 
 
 G 5
 
 130 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 the baiTack-yard to the officers^ mess-house. 
 Speedily the door again sprung back on its 
 hinges^ and the Persian dignitary, Hedak Beg, 
 was announced. 
 
 No one, I conclude, is prepared to defend so 
 atrocious a breach of common politeness as 
 bursting into a loud laugh at a man^s eccen- 
 tricities, to his very face, and that man more- 
 over a foreigner. But there are cases when the 
 visible muscles take so determined a bias to- 
 wards breaking through all the acknowledged 
 forms and observances of civilized life that it 
 requires every energy to be put in practice in 
 the endeavour to prevent the committal of so 
 flagrant an insult to propriety. 
 
 Here was a case in point; but, before I en- 
 large on the most wonderful appearance of the 
 Persian, I may as well let the reader into a few 
 particulars respecting him. 
 
 In his own country Hedak Beg was an officer
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 131 
 
 of trust, who had for years been employed 
 near the person of his sovereign -, and in Persia, 
 where heads are not thought of near so much 
 value as pipe-sticks, it was by most people con- 
 sidered as no small proof of the courtier's abih- 
 ties, that he had for so long a period managed 
 to keep possession of both ; but, when the man- 
 date went forth, commanding the favourite 
 forthwith to proceed to England on a mission 
 of importance, the fate of poor Hedak was by 
 his enemies considered as disposed of. Whether 
 their conjectures were right or otherwise will 
 be seen hereafter. 
 
 What the real object of his visit to this 
 country was, I know not ; but certain it is ouv 
 Government received the presents and letters, 
 of which he was the bearer, in good part; 
 and afforded every facihty for enabling him 
 to visit any place or building in England, 
 which, whether prompted by curiosity or some
 
 132 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 more potent reason, he expressed himself desirous 
 of inspecting. 
 
 Never did mortal evince greater pleasure at 
 his emancipation from thaldrom than did Hedak 
 Beg, whenever he thought it possible, without 
 detection, to cast off the sombre gravity of the 
 Persian, and enjoy the vai'ied amusenients by 
 which he was surrounded. His travelhng com- 
 panion had been by Government appointed to 
 attend him, for the ostensible purpose of afford- 
 ing him aid ; and had it not so chanced that, on 
 the evening in question, his Cicerone was seized 
 with some temporary indisposition, which pre- 
 vented his appearance at dinner, it is very- 
 doubtful if he would have allowed his charge to 
 have stalked forth in the extraordinary costume 
 in which he thought fit to exhibit himself. 
 
 I have but to add the object of his visit to 
 the town wherein we were about to celebrate 
 the anniversary of Saint Patrick's day was to
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 133 
 
 inspect the innumerable manufactories with 
 which that place is stifled. And when I affirm 
 the Persian to have been a man about six-and- 
 thirty years of age, dark, handsome, and with a 
 long beard, as commonly worn by his country- 
 men ; but differing from the pale Cornet's asser- 
 tion, touching his ignorance of the EngHsh 
 language, which, by the bye, was far from being 
 the case, since he could tolerably well under- 
 stand what was said, and occasionally make 
 himself intelligible ; I think I have put my 
 readers in possession of the leading features of 
 the position occupied by this indi\adual, when 
 he entered the reception-room of the regiment. 
 
 I must, however, premise the description of 
 poor Hedak's adventures, by stating him to 
 have been the very essence of good humour 
 itself; and liis great desire to dress and act in 
 ever}' respect similar to the English, while, for 
 some perhaps cogent reason unknown to us, his
 
 1.34 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 guide^ the Colonel, threw innumerable obstacles 
 in the way of his achieving this desired object ; 
 and caused him occasionally to bedeck his per- 
 son in so extraordinaiy a manner as to make 
 himself an object of astonishment to all be- 
 holders. 
 
 So much and enough for preface : and noA\- 
 for the Persian himself. Gracefully and with 
 perfect ease he apologized in language somewhat 
 difficult to be comprehended for the absence of 
 his friend ; but, never having had the felicity of 
 dining with the offiers of an Enghsh regiment, 
 he could not refuse the pleasure this invitation 
 had opened for him. So far, so good : the speech 
 had evidently been concocted by his sick friend, 
 and in due time lodged in the brain of the 
 dusky pupil. The Colonel bowed, and he bowed 
 fu' low, like the Laird of Cockpen in Scottish 
 history ; but as for replying, that was impos- 
 sible, and had not a second summons to the
 
 MARRY AUSTIN. 135 
 
 table relieved us from the perplexity in which 
 we were placed, I do not think any mortal 
 power could have prevented a general roar of 
 laughter. 
 
 On the cranium of the new arrived reposed 
 the usual black lamb^s-wool cap invariably worn 
 by his countrymen. A vest of embroidered 
 cashmere, fitting tight to his shape, covered his 
 broad chest ; while his outer garment, the sleeves 
 descending to the fingers, and the skirts to the 
 heels, completed, together with the broad shawl 
 round the waist, what would have been his 
 national and somewhat picturesque attire. But 
 not content with his own dress, he must be ap- 
 parelled like an Enghshman ; yet, as his sick 
 friend was incapable of aiding, and did not even 
 see him when accoutred, the additions to his 
 costume must have been suggested and acted 
 on by himself. 
 
 Imprimis, on the top of the lamb's wool cap
 
 1 36 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 was hoisted a huge cocked hat^ fashioned, the 
 Lord knows when, and procured the Lord knows 
 where. Then came, covering the long flowing 
 garment reaching to his heels^ and adopted 
 doubtlessly as a compliment to his hosts, a 
 bright scarlet hunting-frock, the buttons bearing 
 impressions of the resemblances of hares, foxes, 
 and every description of brute common to our 
 frigid country. From his girdle was suspended 
 a chain, having affixed to its extremity a bundle 
 of seals, each large enough in" all conscience for 
 a warming pan ; while, not unmindful of his 
 lower man, the embroidered shawl petticoat 
 was, through some complicated process, drawn 
 up and divided between his legs, in order to 
 display a pair of bran new top-boots, having 
 long brass spurs affixed to the heels thereof. 
 
 Such was the extraordinary figure seated ex- 
 actly opposite to my chair. Yet, though un- 
 avoidably the object of astonishment and mirth
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 137 
 
 to all, he appeared wholly unconscious that he 
 was himself the cause of the often stifled titter, 
 and difficult to be suppressed laugh, which was 
 ready to burst forth from all sides. 
 
 The dinner, Hke most dinners of the kind, 
 was excellent — the Champagne well iced — the 
 Burgundy of the right temperature — the 
 dishes well cooked — every one in good humour ; 
 but it was not until after the removal of the 
 cloth that the object for which we met began to 
 develope itself. 
 
 Now commenced the evening — the dessert 
 adorned the board — wines of various descrip- 
 tions in their splendid chrystal vases sparkled 
 on the table — the huge silver Claret jugs were 
 rapidly performing their rotundary motion, while 
 innumerable wax-hghts, from their massive 
 sconces, splendidly illuminated the scene. 
 
 " Gentlemen,^^ said the Colonel, rising, " have 
 the kindness to fill your glasses, and allow me 
 to give our first and customary toast — 'th
 
 138 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 King ;' accordingly ^ the King, the King/ was 
 sliouted round the room, and the band in the 
 outer apartment struck up the National Anthem. 
 No sooner, however, had the first crash of the 
 instruments fallen on the ear, than Hedak Beg 
 stai'ted from his seat, and capsizing his next 
 neighbour, a fat old divine, in his hurry, sud- 
 denly took to flight as though pursued by a 
 legion of demons; and much I doubt whether 
 he would have stopped even to this hour, had 
 he not been brought up by his own spurs ; the 
 mode of managing which, being entirely un- 
 known to him, had unwittingly crossed in his 
 hurry, when, his legs becoming entangled, he 
 pitched his bows, like a seventy-four going down 
 head foremost, and carrying the pale Cornet, 
 whom he had seized by the hair in his agony, 
 in his precipitate downfall, gaily they descended 
 together ; Hedak lodging that part of his body 
 over which the skirts of his hunting coat rested 
 in the ice-pail.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 139 
 
 Whether his panic was occasioned by the 
 first sound of the music, or whether he suffered 
 inwardly from the effects of the heterogeneous 
 mass of comestibles with which for the pre- 
 ceding two hours he had been gorging himself, 
 I cannot define ; but if it was brought to pass 
 by virtue of the former, his antipathy to mar- 
 tial sounds was not incurable ; for, long before 
 the night was spent, he fixed on the big drum 
 as his own peculiar property; and much to the 
 annoyance of every one, except himself, he 
 banged away at the senseless sheepskin, as if 
 the fate of nations depended on his exertions. 
 
 Every imaginable assistance was promptly 
 afforded the prostrate Oriental, who took his 
 misfortune in far better part than did the pallid 
 Cornet ; whose elaborately dressed head of hair 
 had not improved under the comb of the Per- 
 sian's digits ; but little attention was paid by 
 any one to his looks of vengeance, though full
 
 140 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 opportunity of retaliation presented itself, ere 
 the meeting separated ; and which^ as will pre- 
 sently be seen, the angry officer did not allow to 
 pass unheeded. 
 
 Harmony was now fully restored. " The pious, 
 glorious, and immortal memory/' had been 
 washed down the throats of all present, by 
 oceans of claret ; and the speech of some of 
 the party was beginning to find utterance in 
 rather indistinct articulation, when the bull-frog- 
 headed Major rose on his legs, and demanded a 
 hearing. Silence having at length been obtained, 
 he commenced his oration : 
 
 " Gentlemen," he observed, " since it has 
 been the good fortune of the officers of this 
 regiment, to see around them so brilliant a circle 
 of friends, on a day so dear to that part of the 
 United Kingdoms, of which our gallant chief 
 forms so distinguished an ornament" — Here the 
 Colonel was quite overcome, and the other two
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 141 
 
 Irish officers taking the cue from their superior, 
 looked most sentimentally drunk. " And," con- 
 continued the httle Major, "as we may not 
 speedily again have the opportunity t)f num- 
 bering so noble a guest among us^ as the gal- 
 lant Persian opposite, I think this a fitting time 
 and place for canying into effect the resolution 
 I have now the honour to submit to you." 
 
 " Bravo ! Bravo !" shouted a dozen voices, 
 "Bravo! Major — What is it? What is it?" 
 While, determined not to be backward in con- 
 tributing his quota of noise, the Persian bela- 
 boured the great drum with such awful energy 
 that I heartily wished the performer, sticks and 
 all, at the bottom of his own gulph. 
 
 " Simply this," said the Major — " Last week 
 it will be remembered by the officers of the 
 regiment, we were honoured by receiving new 
 standards, the old ones, through long service, 
 having but httle claim to the appellation, since
 
 142 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 hardly a bit of silk or embroidery remains 
 attached to the staffs. Where those standards 
 have been^ and how defended, gentlemen/^ taking 
 a long pull at a monstrous vase of claret, which 
 he was pleased to denominate his glass, ^^ it does 
 not become me to speak of.'^ 
 
 " Speak on ! Speak on \" — bellowed all the 
 civilians. "Hear the Major/'— " Bravo P' and 
 eveiy one, in trying to enforce silence, created as 
 much noise as his neighbour. 
 
 Quiet having at length been obtained, the 
 Major continued, " My proposition is that the 
 old standards be brought in under proper escort, 
 and received with due honours — that the silk 
 be taken from the staffs — that it be burnt to 
 ashes in the largest silver vessel to be procured 
 — that the jug be then filled to the brim with 
 claret ; and finally, that we drink the glorious 
 old standards, bulhon, embroidery and all, with 
 nine thousand and ninety times nine.''
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 143 
 
 To describe the scene that ensued would be 
 impossible. The guests waxed as anxious for 
 the denouement as the junior officer^ who, by the 
 way, having joined about two days, was heard 
 to exclaim something about "^ death or glory ;^' 
 when, dropping from his chair, the pale Cornet 
 used him as a footstool, '^ for the piupose,^^ as 
 he said, "^ of keeping the damp from his boot- 
 polish/' There was an immense deal of shaking 
 hands, and " don^t you remembers," among the 
 seniors. Anticipations of wai'hke deeds ani- 
 mated the breasts of the juniors, while the Per- 
 sian, having kindly lent one of his drumsticks to 
 the Reverend Di\4ne, who was equally seized 
 with a musical furor ; and seeming to look upon 
 his coadjutor in the light of a competitor, rather 
 than as an ally, set to work with redoubled 
 vigour, for fear of being outdone by the clerico. 
 In the midst of this terrible uproar, in came 
 the old standards, carried by two of the stea-
 
 144 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 diest officers they could select ; and followed by 
 the trumpet major and his myrmidons ; the 
 whole of whom, mounting by signal on the 
 table, opened such a din of the oft-repeated 
 ^^ charge," that even the amateur drummer was 
 for a time silenced. The Major's proposition 
 was carried into effect — the broken glasses, 
 empty jugs, the junior Comet, one veterinary 
 surgeon, and two Civihans taken away ; and a 
 short lull in the storm took place. 
 
 ^^ Dress the doctor,'^ called the Colonel to 
 one of the servants leaving the room, who pre- 
 sently returned, bringing on his arm a loose 
 frock or shirt, composed of white calico, and 
 ornamented with innumerable representations of 
 corks, bottles, corkscrews, and the various appli- 
 ances to boon companionship. In this garb the 
 worthy descendant of iEsculapius was quickly 
 invested ; and, when the long-peaked cap em- 
 bellished wdth similar devices, adorned his head.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN'. 145 
 
 he looked more like a piincipal performer at an 
 Auto-da-fe than a Christian doctor about to 
 " commence a brew." 
 
 Whatever the scene may have been to us 
 ^trangers^ the domestics seemed perfectly ac- 
 customed to the proceeding : for^ as if they were 
 ol' opinion that a further hbation of cold claret 
 could not fail in producing unpleasant results, 
 every vestige of wine disappeared from the 
 table, but only to be immediately succeeded by 
 all the ingredients for that most carefully to be 
 avoided and desti*uctive beverage, commonly 
 known by the name of champaign-punch. 
 
 What the doctor did not put in the bowl I 
 cannot tell, but certain I beheld oceans of arrack, 
 green tea, brandy and rum, wending their way 
 to the more sparkhng hquid, which, with many 
 an addition to me unknown, were with much 
 care mingled together. 
 
 llien commenced loud calls for a song, fol- 
 
 VOL. I. H
 
 14G ADVENTURES OF 
 
 lowed by orders for a grill ; both of which aj)- 
 ])eared in due season. Then came more singhig, 
 more grill, more noise, when it \Aas very clear 
 the scene was drawing tc^ its chmax. 
 
 But the evening was not to pass over without 
 its annoyances, and thus they commenced : — a 
 red-headed, huge-whiskered man at the farther 
 end of the room, had for a long period been 
 eyeing me with the pertinacity of a drunkard's 
 idiotic gaze ; and, having apparently made up 
 his mind that I was the person against whom 
 he had extensive cause of complaint, he boldly 
 accused me, in presence of the whole table, of 
 having grossly insulted him, and called loudly 
 for instant and uncompromising satisfaction. 
 
 Such an accusation from a person whom, in 
 the com'se of my existence, I had never before 
 met ^vith, was not a Uttle startling ; and, on my 
 explaining to the Major, who was the only one, 
 save myself, fully in possession of his senses.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 147 
 
 tHftt,*jinor to that evening, my accuser's existence 
 had been to me a mysten^, and, not even then 
 knowing his name, it was impossible that I could 
 have premeditated insulting a man, against 
 whom I could not have imbibed any feeling or 
 opinion whatever, order was at length restored, 
 and my blood-thirsty opponent was fast sinking 
 into that state which woidd have left him, not 
 only incapable of exercising his anger, but even 
 of expressing his displeasure. 
 
 The plot now thickened considerably — the 
 punch had taken horrible effect on the nenes 
 of the Persian, who was bestriding the wretched 
 doctor, he having fallen a victim to his own 
 decoction — and, regardless of his cries, the 
 oriental rammed his spurs ever and anon into 
 the carcass of the physician, and, guiding his 
 head with the never-failing drumstick, deluded 
 himself into the idea that he was riding to 
 heaven on a camel. 
 
 H 2
 
 14S ADVENTURES OP 
 
 Vainly did the man of healing strive to shake 
 otF the burden ; for, hke the hunch-backed dwarf 
 in the Arabian Nights, there he sat, as if glued 
 to his saddle, until, amid the many evolutions 
 his bibed was unwillingly performing, his eye 
 caught a clouded ghmpse of his idol of the 
 night, the drum — resting in the sole and undis- 
 puted power of his rival performer. Rage took 
 ])ossession of his reason — his hot blood boiled 
 with indignation at the sight ; and, making a 
 grasp at the drum-stick of his enemy, and at the 
 same moment digging his off spur a good two 
 inches between the ribs of his Bucephalus, he 
 lost his balance ; at which moment, half mad 
 with pain and punch, the doctor pitched his 
 rider some three or four feet in the air, where, 
 making a splendid summerset, intended no 
 <^loubt for an oriental salam — down he came 
 head-foremost on his favourite instrument ; and, 
 accomplishing with his skull what he had been
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 149 
 
 unable to effect ^^ith his drum-stick, he dived 
 down into the bowels of the monster ; leaving 
 his two legs sticking up in the air, Hke tlie 
 claws in the centre of a pigeon-pie. 
 
 The party had now considerably diminished, 
 and, conjecturing there was but small amuse- 
 ment likely to take place at a later hour, I was 
 proceeding to the door, when the pale Cornet, 
 with whose exuberant locks the Persian guest 
 had in the former part of the evening taken so 
 much hberty, intimated by signal his desire that 
 I should remain ; and when, by expressive ges- 
 tures, I was given to understand the exhibitions 
 for the night were not as yet approximating to 
 a close, I resumed my seat in hopeless resig- 
 nation of ever effecting my escape. 
 
 More cigars — more punch, and, in about halt 
 an hour after, when " the small hours,^^ as the 
 Major expressed it, '^ were getting out of bed ;" 
 the only unconscious beings remaining in the
 
 150 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 room consisted of my pugnacious accuser^ his 
 head resting on the remains of an omelet, w hile 
 his body lay embedded in a strata of broken 
 glass. The wounded doctor, more dead than 
 alive, squatted in a corner on an inverted dish- 
 cover, into which he was so wedged as effec- 
 tually to prevent his rising; and the formerly 
 noisy Persian, now tranquil enough, his black 
 sheepskin head just peeping out of one end of 
 the drum, while his legs jammed close together, 
 and slightly protruding from the other, reminded 
 me strongly of a sluggish tortoise, when, sick 
 and inert, it finds itself cast high and dry-, far 
 from its native element. Some three or four 
 officers also remained in the room, and opera- 
 tions were instantly commenced. 
 
 The pallid Cornet held a long conversation 
 with his brother in mischief. Sir Terence ; be- 
 tween ^^hom it was arranged that the doctor 
 should be disposed of first. So, hoisting him on ^
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 151 
 
 the shoulders of two of the servants, they 
 escorted him to his room : the rest of us fol- 
 lowing, save and except poor Hedak and my 
 antagonist ; and, to prevent the danger w hich 
 either of these worthies might incur by walking 
 in their sleep, my friend, the Cornet, locked the 
 door and carried the key with him. 
 
 Arrived at the room of the insensible uEscu- 
 lapius, he was speedily divested of his garments, 
 and comfortably deposited in bed, and here, 
 thought I, he will be left in quiet for the re- 
 mainder of the night ; but, instead of any such 
 termination, three or four urchins, denominated 
 " tigers,'^ having, by their masters^ orders, fixed 
 strings to almost every piece of furniture in the 
 room, the ends of which they conveyed outside 
 the door, proceeded to moisten with water an 
 immense quantity of gunpowder. This prepa- 
 ration was divided into many heaps, and placed 
 round the victim^s bed ; his couch having already
 
 1)2 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 been turned, so that his head rested where in 
 jreneral his feet were accustomed to repose. 
 Nothing now remained but to lay some diy 
 powder as a train, which hkewise, \\ ith the string, 
 was carried to the doorway, and prolonged ini- 
 derneath, so that the whole might by tired with- 
 out any person entering the room ; last of all, 
 the walls were rubbed with phosphorus; and 
 two of the tigers having, through the roof, 
 attained the outside of the building, were sta- 
 tioned at the doctor's chimney-top with flower- 
 pots and pails of w-ater : all being completed, 
 we withdrew, and proceeded to our other friends. 
 We found them in the same unconscious state 
 in which we left them ; and, thanks to lamp- 
 black and oil — the face and hands of my oppo- 
 nent speedily underwent a transformation from 
 Rouge to Noir ; while the unfortunate Persian' 
 and himself were unknowingly compelled "tc^^^ 
 exchange garments; so that, in a ver\' short
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 15.i 
 
 space of time, poor Hedak Beg was accoutred 
 as an English ci\ilian — his long beard hanging 
 from his chin descriptive of the patriarch, or a 
 Monmouth-street Jew clothes-man ; while the 
 other, screwed up in his oriental garb, his black 
 face protruding from underneath his crop of 
 shaggy red hair, looked more hke a devil on tire 
 than anything else I could compare him to. 
 
 '• Now bring up the carriage,^^ exclaimed the 
 pallid Cornet, he having previously taken cart- 
 that the driver and domestic should have little 
 power, even if so inchned, to thwart the pro- 
 ceedings. " All right, here it comes,'^ and, as 
 the vehicle reached the door, driven by Sir 
 Terence's confidential dependent, and who, he 
 one day aftersvards wanted to bet me a cool 
 hundred, was the greatest rascal unhung — the 
 two unconscious victims were then conveyed to 
 the market-place, when the carriage doors hav- 
 ing been thrown open, the steps let down, and 
 
 H 5
 
 154 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 the horses taken off — they were left as an exlii- 
 bition, gratis, for the amusement of all early 
 risers, and market attendants. 
 
 The reported success of the poor Persian^s ad- 
 venture was the signal for the recommencement 
 of the doctor's annoyances, and, together, we 
 reached his door. All was silent, save the heavy 
 snore of the slumbering unfortunate, which at 
 intervals came rustling through the key-hole, 
 like the groan of some wretch in extreme 
 agony. 
 
 " He's got the night-mare,'^ whispered Sir 
 Terence; "'twill be but common charity to 
 wake him." 
 
 '^ Agreed," said the mischief-loving, pale-faced 
 Sub; and in an instant the train was fired — 
 cveiy article of furniture in the room com- 
 menced a gallopade — off went the wet powder, 
 sending its brilliant sparks to the ceiling — bang 
 went the detonating balls mixed with it — down
 
 ■HARttY AUSTIN. 15d 
 
 came a flood of water from the chimney/ fol- 
 lowed by the crash and breaking of half a dozen 
 tlower-pots, sending their fragments over the 
 room. :»ooi)8 b^Jioqai ddT 
 
 "Murder! murder!" shrieked the drunken 
 doctor. " The accursed Persian is on me again/^ 
 and^ turning to the side from which he was wont 
 to descend from his bed^ he partly fractured his 
 scull against the soHd wall. "Oh! Punch — 
 Persian — Pur — ga — to — ry/' he murmured, and 
 all again was still. 
 
 Wellj thought I, as I turned into the shake- 
 down prepared for me, Pve had enough of this 
 work, and please the fates, to-morrow Fll start 
 for my uncle's.
 
 15(3 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 The reception I met with from the old General 
 was as warm and affectionate as I had every 
 reason to desire; and my delight was much 
 augmented at finding my mother on a visit to 
 my kind relation : nor was my gratification in 
 the least damped by the information that my 
 step-father was detained at Selby on special 
 business. 
 
 ^^ Welcome ! my boy, welcome V exclaimed 
 the old gentleman, meeting me at the Hall 
 door. " Glad to see you. Wish you joy, 
 Harry, of your appointment — rather they'd put
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 15/ 
 
 you in the Infantry though — never saw any 
 Hussars at Guadaloupe. Sure they were n't 
 there — but never mind, lad ; it ^s your misfor- 
 tune, not your fault — they may get there yet. 
 Eh ? Who knows ? But tell me, when do you 
 join? What leave have you got? Ordered 
 your kit I suppose ? Eh ? Won't want such 
 a turn out as I had in the Bay of Port Royal 
 in 94 ? Ah ! Those were the times." And in 
 this strain he would have run on till the middle 
 of the next week, if, after many attempts, I had 
 not been enabled to check him with the assur- 
 ance that I was perfectly satisfied with his 
 Royal Highnesses disposal of me. That my 
 leave would expire in ten days, — that I intended 
 to join my Regiment at the expiration of that 
 period; that my kit was all ordered ; and finally 
 I fully concurred in opinion with him as to its 
 inferiority, compared to that which was sunk in 
 the Bay of Port Royal ; and which, to my certain
 
 158 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 knowledge, the veteran had grappled for, and 
 brought up, at least ten times a week ever 
 since. 
 
 >(\ ^ But, Harry, my boy," continued the General, 
 *^ go and dress ; and don't spare pains at yoiu" 
 toilette: there are those staying in the house 
 well worth any man's while taking some trouble 
 for ; but,'^ in a low confidential key, " they 
 have'nt half the life the women used to have, in 
 the good old days, when every night we had 
 balls on board the ^ Blanche,' ^ Quebec,' or some 
 of the Squadon in Old Jervis's time. But yon 
 know, Harry — one can't expect such luck to 
 last through life." And, with a sigh at tlie 
 remembrance of the last century's amusements, 
 he betook himself to his dressing-room. 
 
 I was slowly ascending the stairs to my o^vii 
 apartment, smihng at the infatuated pertinacity 
 of my uncle in comparing every daily circum- 
 stance with the common occurrences , of his
 
 •<^» HARRY AUSTIN. 159 
 
 favourite epoch, — when I heard the rustling of 
 a female dress close behind me. Instinctively 
 I drew up to allow room for the person to 
 pass, — when, what was my astonishment, as her 
 eyes met mine — on beholding the beautiful, pale 
 face of my deUverer from the unknown regions. 
 Could it be possible ? Was I awake ? Or, like 
 the Doctor of the preceding night, still suffering 
 from the effects of former imprudencies ? but 
 no — there she stood — her finger placed upon 
 her Hps as if to command silence — exactly in 
 the same attitude as when she appeared before 
 me in the dungeon. Her dress, however, was 
 far different from that in which I had last seen 
 her : though plain, and without any pretension 
 to display, it was well calculated to set off her 
 admirable figure. Her hair was mostly con- 
 cealed within her head dress ; and the tout 
 ensemble of this extremely pretty girl bespoke 
 her as acting in some menial, but not very 
 arduous, capacity.
 
 IGl) ADVENTURES OF 
 
 For an instant struck with astonishment^ I 
 remained undecided how to act — not feehnf:; 
 quite certain whether the object before me was 
 in reahty a hving substance^ or merely an ideal 
 ligure created by my own disordered brain. 
 
 This state of doubt could not last long ; so 
 collecting my wandering faculties^ and to set 
 the matter finally at rest^ I sprung up the few 
 steps which intervened between us^ and en- 
 deavoured practically to discover whether the 
 vision was an aerial form, or a mere flesh and 
 bone mortal. Quick as I wished my movement 
 to be, my intended captive was much swifler ; 
 and, darting off with an almost noiseless step, 
 she fled down the long passage, as if to reach 
 a door that stood half open at the extreme 
 end. 
 
 Without pausing to consider whither I might 
 be going, I instantly gave chase; but not so 
 noiselessly as the pursued : for, entirely for-
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 161 
 
 getting the disturbance my heavy boots would 
 naturally create on the polished oak floor, away 
 I scampered as fast as my legs w^ould convey 
 me, and with sufficient uproar to have alarmed 
 any respectable family. 
 
 Now it so happened that this said corridor 
 was of considerable length ; and on both sides 
 thereof were numerous doors opening into the 
 bed-rooms and boudoirs of whomsoever might 
 chance to sojourn at the mansion. 
 
 Opposite the stair, and at the farther end of 
 this long passage, was, as has already been 
 stated, an apartment similar to those already 
 described ; but in the extreme corner, and close 
 to the door, was a baize screen which concealed 
 a flight of steps used by the servants, in their 
 perigrinations from the lower to the upper 
 regions of the building. 
 
 Of this secreted communication I was wholly 
 ignorant ; and the one lamp, suspended from
 
 162 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 the ceiling in the centre of the corridor, tended 
 but little to enlighten me touching the locahties ; 
 but, beholding the' glimmer of a taper at the 
 end of the passage, and conceiving the flying 
 nymph was making thereto for refuge, I re- 
 doubled my efforts, in the hope of overtaking 
 her before she could reach her haven. 
 
 Away we sped along the corridor ; at every 
 step I gained ground ; and, when with in two 
 yards of the end of the passage, feeling certain 
 of my prize, I put out my hand to allay her 
 progress ; but greatly was I mistaken ; for, 
 instantly eluding my grasp, she started with the 
 speed of lightning to my right, and disappeared 
 behind the baize curtain. 
 
 It would have been as easy to have stopped 
 a run away steam-engine, on a rail road, as to 
 have made me at that moment deviate from 
 my straight course. To turn was impossible — 
 onward I went; my legs running away with
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 163 
 
 my reluctant body. For a second a light glim- 
 mered before my eyes — indistinctly I beheld 
 a form approach ; at the same instant my pro- 
 gress was arrested by the tangible corporeal 
 frame of the Honom'able Mrs. Gregory, who, 
 fully dressed for dinner, was in the act of leaving 
 her apai'tment for the pui-pose of descending 
 to the drawing-room. So sudden was my ap- 
 peai'ance, and with such ^•elocity did we meet, 
 that the lady, — as is proper in all similar attacks 
 upon the nen^ous system, — instantly proceeded 
 to faint. 
 
 Here was a dilemma — placed in a position 
 which hundreds would have been but too happy 
 in occuppng, I should have only been too 
 thankful had it been possible for me to have 
 sunk into the ground, and hidden my confusion 
 for ever. But as no genii or fabled guardian 
 came to my aid ; and as mine is but a story of 
 unadorned facts and incidents related exactlv as
 
 1S4 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 they occurred ; I must acknowledge that, at the 
 moment, my feelings were the reverse of en- 
 viable ; and I looked like any thing rather than 
 a hero of romance. 
 
 Astonished at the noise, the inmates of half 
 a dozen apartments threw open their doors, and 
 inquisitively thrust forth their bodies to ascer- 
 tain the cause of so unusual a disturbance ; and, 
 certes, if they were astounded before they issued 
 from their boudoirs, they must have been much 
 more so when they discovered me supporting in 
 my arms the beautiful figure of the almost 
 fainting wife of, decidedly, the most jealous man 
 in Europe. This was all bad enough ; and so 
 many having witnessed the result, without know- 
 ing the cause of my being in that predicament, 
 I felt pretty certain that many minutes could 
 not elapse without the full account, with innu- 
 merable notes and additions, coming to the 
 knowledge of Mr. Gregory, through the kind-
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. IG5 
 
 1.1 ess of ^' some dear good-natured friend." But 
 in this instance the " deai', good-natured friend" 
 ^^ as saved the trouble : for^ rushing from a 
 dressing-room contiguous to that on the thres- 
 hold of which we were so romantically grouped, 
 appeared the irascible benedict himself; who, 
 with a look indicative of intention to prosecute 
 his further acquaintance with myself, proceeded 
 in a most unceremonious way to reheve me of 
 my burden ; and, carr^-ing the lady towards the 
 inner chamber, closed the door of the apart- 
 ment in my face. 
 
 .-Nothing therefore remained but to retire 
 from the field as unobserved as possible; and 
 which I endeavoured — though fruitlessly — to 
 achieve : for, as the echo of my retreating foot- 
 steps sounded along the passage, suppressed 
 laughter and considerable gigghng also fell on 
 my ear ; which the doors, having been in most 
 fpases left ajar — of course accidently — gave in*
 
 166 ADVEXTUliES OF 
 
 dication that a second act of tlie same farce 
 -svould ensure an audience fully as numerous. 
 
 The scene which I have endeavoured to de-. 
 scribe, and which, even in reading, occupies 
 some little time, was enacted during the space 
 of but a few seconds ; and fi'om the period when, 
 walking up stairs, I met my fair incognita, to 
 the time when I found myself alone in my 
 chamber, could not have consumed five minutes. 
 But in those five minutes events of no small 
 importance to myself had transpired ; of the 
 first of which I felt half inclined to doubt the 
 reality ; though, but a few moments previous, 
 the very form and features which appeared be- 
 fore me in my prison I had seen and spoken to 
 in my nucleus hous6. The more I pondered over 
 the mystery, the more was I perplexed. What 
 probable affinity could there exist between the 
 persons with whom I had every reason to believe 
 the girl in some way leagued, and any one of
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 167 
 
 my uncle's household ? And how had it been 
 possible for her to emerge from the state in 
 which, a few days before, I had found her, to the 
 easy and comparatively luxurious situation in 
 which she then stood ? That it was her whom 
 I had beheld could not be disputed. The same 
 pale, pensive, countenance — the light, elastic 
 step — and, above all, the gesture of admonitory- 
 caution — dispelled the supposition of my having 
 been mistaken. Yet to account for her presence 
 in t/iat house was to me impracticable; and 
 equally vain would it have been to. risk enquiries 
 regarding her, without breaking my former 
 promise of secrecy, which, as she had so ear- 
 nestly pressed it, I felt httle inchnation to do. 
 
 Then followed the no very agreeable specu- 
 lation, as to what the resentful expression on 
 Mr. Gregory^s countenance might indicate here- 
 after ; nor could I well blame the man for not 
 declaring himself in very friendly terms to the
 
 1G8 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 stranger, in whose arms he found his wife faint- 
 ing. And, again, what explanation could I give 
 when — as it was natural he would do — I should 
 be called upon? That Mrs. Gregory might 
 have opened her door at the moment I was 
 passing was all probable enough. But surely 
 that was no visible reason why she should have 
 instantly fainted ; and still less apparent cause 
 for its being necessary for me to explore the 
 formation of the building, so as to cause the 
 prosecution of my labours being followed up, 
 even to the centre of the lady's apartment — the 
 more so, since I had no business whatever at 
 that end of the corridor. 
 
 But even were I to explain the circumstances 
 as they really occurred, what an improbable tale 
 it would appear, unless detracting somewhat 
 from the character of the unknown damsel, or 
 else from my own ! Neither was it likely I 
 jshould add much to my credit, by the avowal
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 3 69 
 
 of having pursued a female domestic, evidently 
 against her wish; and without knowing her 
 name, or the situation she held in the establish- 
 ment. 
 
 The more I thought on the matter, the more 
 comphcated my difficulties appeai'ed ; till, hear- 
 ing the dinner-bell ring, I did, as many a wiser 
 man had done before me, viz. — leave it all to 
 circumstances. And, inwardly cursing all the 
 race, from the inventor of powders to him of 
 the angiy visage, I resolved to brave the matter 
 boldly, and take my chance of consequences. 
 Thus determined, I extinguished my candles, 
 descended the staircase, and, assuming what I 
 intended for an air of perfect inditference, lei- 
 surely entered the drawing-room. 
 
 Fortunately for me, the good old custom of 
 faintly illuminating the room wherein the party 
 congi'egates previous to dinner was, on this 
 qccasion, in full force ; and so indistinct were 
 
 VOL. I. 1
 
 ]70 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 the different figures grouped near the fire that, 
 at first, I was unable to distinguish one from 
 another; the consequence of which partial ob- 
 scurity was a considerable degree of additional 
 self-possession in my own person ; so that, by 
 the time we were summoned to the more illu- 
 minated apartment, I felt little awe at receiving 
 the significant glances and sly looks which, I 
 fully expected, would be showered on me in 
 profiision — nay, I even fancied that the angry 
 leers of the indignant husband would fall 
 innocuous before my settled indifference. 
 
 " Harry,^^ exclaimed my uncle, to whom my 
 unfortunate adventure was unknown, and who 
 was in the act of escorting a lady to the dining- 
 room, ^' come, my boy, why don't you petition 
 for the honour of some fair lady's notice ? eh ? 
 The days of gallantry are passed away, with the 
 old 1794-^Not correct to be civil now — eh? 
 twasn't so in my time, though ; but come along
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 1/1 
 
 — Mrs. Gregory/' he continued, ^^ will you 
 patronize him? He's very shy; but, if any 
 thing can inspire him, never will he meet with 
 a stronger inducement, or a fairer excuse for 
 getting rid of his extreme bashfulness/' And, 
 smiling at his own compliment, the gallant 
 veteran proceeded on his way, leaving the lady 
 whom I had so wofully offended standing by 
 my side, the mere tips of her fingers resting on 
 my coat-sleeve — implying thereby, or, at least, 
 to me seeming to imply, that it was with xery 
 great reluctance good breeding compelled her to 
 accept my proffered arm, rather than go through 
 a second scene. 
 
 Apparently regardless of her evident aversion, 
 I seized the opportunity to apologize for my 
 unintentional iniquity committed in the corri- 
 dor : and, though I speedily discovered my 
 hstener had prejudged the culprit, I found her 
 not inexorably averse to granting a fairer trial. 
 
 I 2
 
 172 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 The precise words I uttered cannot now be 
 remembered ; but it must have been more from 
 the sincerity of my manner than any reasoning 
 I could have used — for what excuse could I urge 
 in my defence that my handsome companion 
 vouchsafed to extend her pardon ? assuming 
 upon whichj I placed myself next to her at table 
 — ^little heeding the looks of doubt^ astonish- 
 ment, and anger, with which I was frequently 
 favoured by her husband during the repast ; 
 who, with laudable determination to misconstrue 
 every look, word, and gesture that might ema- 
 nate from his wife, — had contrived to place 
 himself exactly before her ; but which said indi- 
 cation of increasing wrath seemed to have as 
 little effect upon the lady as though her liege 
 lord and master had been venting his anger on 
 some less material matter, a thousand miles 
 away from where he then was. But I have 
 reason to suppose the affair in question not to
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 1/3 
 
 have been so completely indiiferent as to prevent 
 her having had recourse to that most edifying 
 and delectable of all homilies, the admonition 
 and advice, in which some ladies are habituated 
 to indulge, much to the edification of their 
 better halves, — some twenty or tliirty minutes 
 immediately preceding the visit of that inesti- 
 mable person, Morpheus. Whether, on the 
 evening in question, the lady did "just mention 
 the subject,^^ or whether his totally different 
 course of conduct on the following day had its 
 prigin in any other cause, I know not ; but, 
 afler that night, and until a certain period, of 
 which more hereafter — we were apparently on 
 the best terms imaginable. 
 
 There were about sixteen or eighteen persons 
 at dinner, among whom, I doubt not, there were 
 some ten or a dozen who witnessed the expose ; 
 and, so anxious are people to discover, and 
 readily account for, reasons influencing the
 
 174 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 conduct of individuals — even when the 
 motives ascribed to them never existed — that 
 it is not surprising every eye should have been 
 turned on us both when entering the room ; 
 but, on beholding the lady leaning on my arm, 
 and, moreover, seeing me deliberately seat my- 
 self by her side, conjecture made way for cer- 
 tainty ; and there was not an individual present 
 — my uncle and his fair daughter excepted — 
 who did not treat the assertion of our never 
 previously having met as a convenient rwse to 
 justify us in the eyes of the world — by which 
 world is meant the small coterie amongst whom 
 the inquisitor exists; including himself as the 
 most important and conspicuous part thereof. 
 
 To describe each person of the assembled 
 party would be unnecessary for the develope- 
 ment of our story ; but there were a few present 
 with whom it is indispensible the reader should 
 be made somewhat acquainted; among whom
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 175 
 
 the lady we have just mentioned stands pro- 
 minent. 
 
 The Honourable Mrs. Gregory was about 
 eight or nine-and-twenty. Handsome, accom- 
 plished, and agreeable, she readily found free 
 access into that portion of the elite of society 
 which her birth and talents justified her in 
 demanding, and which was willingly acceded. 
 But, in this mercenary globe, there* are qualifi- 
 cations which, both in men and women, are 
 frequently deemed of far more \'ital importance 
 than the advantages of birth or the acquire- 
 ment of accomplishments. And, among these, 
 money — all-conquering money — stands pre- 
 eminent. 
 
 Of this " necessary evil,^^ as it has been 
 termed, the daughter of the late, and sister of 
 the present. Lord Norbert, found herself, at 
 the age of five-and-twenty, painfully deficient ; 
 and, with the option of remaining, in some sort,
 
 176 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 as a dependant^ at her brothei^'s house ; — with 
 whose wife, unfortunately, she could not be said 
 to associate par preference ; — or of retiring to 
 some small, and necessarily obscure, abode, 
 befitting her finances, and thereby entaihng 
 the irrecoverable loss of her station in so- 
 ciety, and absolute relinquishment of those 
 pleasures and amusements which long habit 
 had taught her to consider as indispensible to 
 her happiness. 
 
 When balancing the advantages to be gained 
 and the disagreeables to be endured by adopting 
 one scheme or the other, the necessity of 
 putting either in practice was obviated by the 
 opportune offer, on the part of Mr. Gregory', 
 of his houses, vehicles, and wealth, accom- 
 panied with the possession of his own inesti- 
 mable person. 
 
 Such an offer, and at such a period, was not 
 to be rejected ; and, in the course of a few
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. l77 
 
 weeksj the honourable Celestine May became 
 the honourable Mrs. Gregory, by disposing pf- 
 her hand, without her heart having been in the 
 slightest degree consulted. 
 
 The husband was one of whom many may 
 be met daily. Rich, from having succeeded to 
 a large property amassed by a clear-headed 
 plodding father in the classic ground of Leeds, 
 he was enabled to command all he wished for ; 
 and, consequently, having it in his power to 
 purchase whatever he desired, passed along the 
 vale of life as quietly and unheeded as his 
 similarly circumstanced brethren. His greatest 
 foible was an inordinate devotion to rank ; and 
 his greatest crime, a superabundant exc'ess of 
 jealousy. To gratify the former, he would have 
 sold himself to the arch enemy of mankind ; 
 and by fostering the latter he was in a fair way 
 of becoming that gentleman's property L y a 
 ieed of gift gratis, without having received any 
 
 I 5
 
 1/8 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 value therefor ; unless the sleepless nights and 
 miserable days, which he frequently inflicted on 
 himself, might be considered as payment in 
 kind. 
 
 The General, I have already had the fehcity 
 of introducing to the reader. But the beauty 
 of his daughter — ^far worthier of a more power- 
 ful description than I can pretend to offer — 
 needs no further eulogium than this — she was 
 imequalled in beauty ; yet the loveliness of her 
 form and features were insignificant, when com- 
 pared with the mild, angelic purity of her 
 mind. The perfect symmetry of her figure 
 was an appropriate type of the nobleness of 
 soul that dwelt within ; her soft, languishing 
 blue eyes plainly betokened her gentle and 
 affectionate disposition — the delicate ringlets 
 joyously sporting on the unruffled smoothness 
 
 of the clear transparent brow — the but 
 
 why pursue the picture farther? Let it suffice,
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 179 
 
 that in all the notions and ideas of human per- 
 fection, either natural or acquired, personal or 
 mental, that man, in the luxuriance of his fancy, 
 has ever called from the regions of romance, 
 wherewith to deck his ideal goddess of perfec- 
 tion ; each and all were, as with one accord, 
 centred in the person of my beautiful, accom- 
 plished — and, what to the owner, was of far 
 more value than all — good, in the most exten- 
 sive meaning of the word, — my good cousin, 
 Mary Austin. 
 
 She was a being on whom once to look was 
 always to remember ; that being, gentle reader, 
 whose slight airy form in the still hour of night, 
 when far, far away from all, whom custom, 
 habit, or affection has made dear to you, has 
 oflimes appeared, in imagination, to hover round 
 the couch of the wanderer, as a guardian angel 
 may be supposed to watch over and protect an 
 erring mortal ; — that figure of which it is im-
 
 180 ADVENTTRES OF 
 
 possible to give a clear description ; but whose 
 every lineament of feature is indelibly impressed 
 on the mind^ carrying the recollection through 
 many a dense cloud of sin and sorrow^ to one 
 spot — even though it be hut one small spot 
 amid the vtdlderness of lifers desert, whereon the 
 harried mind rests with an affectionate re- 
 membrance, and vividly recalls those few 
 days of innocence and joy against which, in 
 dark array, stand the manifold years of after 
 wickedness ! 
 
 If there be a man who cannot picture to 
 himself some such angelic vision, gilding, with 
 her pure presence, the happy innocence of his 
 early years — if it be possible that any one exists 
 incapable of reverting with a melancholy plea- 
 sure to some such, though alas ! short period of 
 felicity — God help him ! for, from all chance of 
 awakening other than gross wordly feeling in his 
 bosom, he is irretrievably and for ever cut off.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. IM 
 
 Yet so it is. And, though strange that it 
 should be so, still, amid the follies and frivohties 
 of life, there are periods when the recollection 
 of those placid days of innocence strikes upon 
 the heait with a clear remembrance of trivial 
 occurrences long past by. And so plainly and 
 distinctly do they appear before us as to cast 
 into comparative darkness the mind^s recapitu- 
 lation of yesterday^s pursuits. And in all those 
 reminiscences are indehbly engraven the never- 
 to-be-forgotten features of some joyous and 
 lovely playmate : and, although the tomb may 
 have long since closed its gloomy portals on 
 that which, in the days of our boyish admira- 
 tion, we regarded, as approximating to perfec- 
 tion, — yet neither time, circumstances, nor even 
 a long career of guilt, can cast a shade o'er 
 the vivid colours in which the heart's first 
 attachment is for ever impressed upon the 
 mind.
 
 182 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Where woman is, there must her ascendancy 
 be acknowledged : the very ornaments strewed 
 around her room betray the influence of her 
 presence. Why do the many trifles that deck 
 a lady^s boudoir possess a greater interest in 
 our eyes than is allotted to their less favoured 
 brethren ? And what attraction do we find in 
 gazing on the many-coloured hues of the soft 
 Persian carpet, were it not to catch a ghmpse 
 of the perfect symmetry of the small foot which 
 scarcely presses the velvet surface whereon it 
 rests ? 
 
 Oh ! who is there with heart so dead, who 
 cannot associate the remembrance of some of 
 the brightest moments of his existence with 
 trifles, valueless in themselves, but ' all the 
 world to him/ A book — a flower — a glove, 
 consecrated by the touch of a beloved object, 
 has oflen served to guide the way, and direct 
 the heart, through many a long year of separa-
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 183 
 
 tion and sorrow; and often has the one soft 
 silvery voice fallen on the ear^ so distinct^ so 
 clear, so thrilling, that minutes have elapsed ere 
 the deceitful vision passed away, leaving behind 
 nought but the bitter regret of a second 
 parting. 
 
 What society is worth cultivating? What 
 pursuits afford enjoyment ? What amusements 
 furnish pleasure — where female loveUness is 
 excluded ? None. We have our clubs, ^tis true, 
 where luxury is attainable with as much ease 
 and consequent absence of trouble as Aladdin 
 experienced when building his magnificent 
 palace; but even there, amid all that wealth 
 and luxury can furnish, each member sits 
 gloomily apart from his fellow man, as if fearfid 
 of inhaling some infectious atmosphere. 
 
 Rational enjoyment where men alone con- 
 gregate is unattainable. And woman — lovely 
 womim — must still continue, as she has ever
 
 184 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 beeii^ the guiding star of man, whether for good 
 or evil. 
 
 But what is all this to the purpose? Nothing. 
 And as I find the abominable sentimental fit 
 taking possession of me^ in mercy to my readers 
 I'll end my chapter here.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 185 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 An addition was made to our party next day, 
 by the arrival of Lord Mantar, a young noble- 
 man who frequently did his friends the honour 
 of appearing at their mansions uninvited, fully 
 impressed with the supposition that his person 
 and conversation could not fail in rendering his 
 arrival of incalculable benefit to those on whom 
 he purposed to bestow his society. 
 
 We were seated at luncheon, when his car- 
 riao^e drove to the door ; and so accustomed 
 were his lordship's acquaintances to his eccentric 
 habits that few expressions of astonishment
 
 186 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 escaped our party on his entrance into the 
 room. 
 
 This "noble scion of an illustrious house" 
 had little in his personal appearance w hereby to 
 recommend him ; and, unprepossessing as was 
 his outward form^ the inward man was even less 
 inviting. Selfish, indolent, and extremely nar- 
 row-minded, he obej^ed each impulse of the 
 moment in prosecuting any plan which his 
 wayward fancy suggested ; and, being in posses- 
 sion of both wealth and rank, he found himself 
 flattered and caressed by all who had any 
 object to gain through his instrumentality. 
 
 His unsettled disposition and the indulgence 
 of his vaccillating caprice had already cost him 
 a considerable sum. 
 
 At Eton and Oxford, he had been everything 
 by turns, and nothing long. Poetry, pugilism, 
 geology, driving, yachting, fiddling, had each 
 in him a short-lived patron. And, on quitting
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 187 
 
 the Univerity, nothing would satisfy his whhn- 
 sical spirit but enroUing himself a member of a 
 heavy dragoon regiment, the existence of which 
 first came to his knowledge through the instru- 
 mentahty of his stud-groom introducing the 
 farrier-major to his stables, in consultation on 
 the case of a favourite quadruped. 
 
 Not a month had passed over the head of 
 the youthful warrior, ere he discovered the 
 riding-school a most unexceptionable bore — ^his 
 drills a decided chaos of unintelligible absurdi- 
 ties — and, above all, the helmet of the heavies 
 considerably inferior in beauty to the chaco of 
 the hussar. 
 
 Ceasing to admire was with him commencing 
 to detest; and so rooted an aversion did he 
 take to the corps which, but a few days back, 
 he had eulogized to the skies, that his brother 
 officers saw his exchange to the lights gazetted 
 with as much satisfaction as was felt by his 
 lordship himself..
 
 188 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Here again was he doomed to meet with dis- 
 appointment, for his regiment being in Ireland, 
 to Ireland he was compelled to go. Leave was 
 of course granted for time sufficient for com- 
 pleting his preliminaiy arrangements ; and the 
 period was consumed with examinations and 
 re-examinations of his peUsse, dolman^ and sa- 
 bertash, with which he found very considerable 
 delight in bedecking his person. 
 
 So assiduously did he devote his leisure hours 
 to this laudable occupation^ and so thoroughly 
 did he make himself acquainted with every 
 article of dress appertaining to the regiment, 
 that his zeal in the new cause had considerably 
 evaporated before he embarked to join it ; nor 
 did he there find objects of more lasting attrac- 
 tion than those which it had been his fate pre- 
 viously to encounter : but let him explain the 
 cause of his short sojourn among them, in his 
 own words. 
 
 After the usual greetings and salutations, com-
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 189 
 
 mon on similar occasions, I was brought under 
 his lordship^s notice by a remark hazarded by 
 my uncle that the regiment to which I had just 
 been appointed was the same that a short time 
 previously had numbered Lord Mantar among 
 its members. 
 
 '' Really y rephed his lordship, drawing out 
 his words slowly and at short intervals, one after 
 another, hke a string of camels crossing a 
 desert ; and, as if unwilling to suffer his pecu- 
 liar pronunciation of each syllable to escape 
 notice. " Really ? singular ! Why, yes. General, 
 I was with them once — fine sendee truly — blue 
 and gold — rather imposing — good effect. But 
 let me see, I was wdth them three days I think ? 
 
 Yes, just three days, at a place called : — ; 
 
 upon my word I can't remember — if indeed I 
 ever knew what the place was called: but I 
 know its somewhere in Ireland — Eh, you've 
 been in Ireland, General, Eh?"
 
 1^0 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 "Frequently/^ replied my uncle; "and for 
 rrther a longer period than your lordship, if 
 three days embraced the whole term of your 
 visit." 
 
 " Positively, only three days," responded the 
 quintessence of foppery. " Could'nt stop longer, 
 positively should have died — no constitution 
 could have recovered after a more protracted 
 sojourn. Oh ! heavens," he continued, empty- 
 ing a large claret glass, and casting up his eyes, 
 as if fascinated by the gaze of a rattle-snake. 
 "When I recall to my remembrance what I 
 beheld the first morning after my arrival, on 
 approaching the window — now, my dear Mrs. 
 Gregory, what do you suppose I saw ?" 
 
 " Nay," answered the lady appealed to, " it 
 would be utterly impossible for me to guess 
 what were the sights most likely to meet your 
 gaze in a barrack-yard." 
 
 " True," resumed his lordship, " it would in-
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 191 
 
 deed ; well, half suffocated with smoke, and a 
 most distressing smell of tui'f-fire, I rushed to 
 the \\-indow for air, when I beheld before me a 
 trackless extent of bog — not a tree — not a house 
 to be seen — nothmg but bog — miles of drear, 
 black, bog. I went to a casement in the rear 
 of the building ; and there I saw bog ; I strained 
 my sight to the right, there was bog — in casting 
 my eyes to the left, there was bog — I looked 
 into a huge box outside my door — it was filled 
 with bog. I turned to the fire-place to warm 
 my fi-ozen limbs — it was piled \^'ith bog — the 
 peasants^ cottages were built of bog. All, and 
 ever}i:hing, either looked, tasted, or smelt of 
 bog. Horrible! most horrible! Was it not so. 
 Miss Austin y^ addressing my pretty cousin. 
 
 ^' Not having been one of the party,^^ was the 
 reply, " it were impossible for me to give an 
 opinion ; but as you only remained three days, I 
 conclude you found it the reverse of agreeable.^'
 
 192 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 *^ Positively not more than three days I assure 
 you, Miss Austin. No man could have remained 
 longer and live." 
 
 "How very dreadful !" exclaimed Mrs. Gre- 
 gor}^^ in an accent of mock sympathy. ^^ Did 
 the regiment follow your Lordship^s example, 
 or did they die ?" 
 
 '^ Why no — not exactly — that is/' continued 
 Lord Mantar, " I cannot say to a certainty ; 
 because I never went back to ascertain, as you 
 may believe ; consequently that is a point upon 
 which I cannot stake my veracity; but, short 
 as my campaign was— truly it was a very 
 severe one.^' 
 
 "How so?" asked the General. " I remem- 
 ber, in 1794, when Sir John Jervis — " 
 
 " Pardon, me my dear Sir," interrupted his 
 guest — the Guadaloupe story being no greater 
 novelty to him than to others of the party 
 present. " Pardon me, my dear General, I was
 
 HARRY AUSTIN'. 193 
 
 just going to explain the cause of my depart- 
 ure from that dreadful place ; and, ladies, if it 
 will afford you any amusement, I shall be de- 
 lij^hted in recounting the extraordinary circum- 
 stance which led to my withdrawal from the 
 service/' 
 
 Here the Baron waved his cambric hand- 
 kerchief across his brow — scenting the room as 
 though all the bottles in Delcroix' shop had 
 been there poured out for the purpose ; the 
 ladies having meanwhile acceded to his proposal 
 — the noble ex-soldier thus continued : 
 
 "The labour and exertion, both mental and 
 bodily, which I underwent, during the period I 
 was with the regiment, are scarcely credible; 
 and, having unfortunately joined from another 
 coq:)s, I was pronounced eUgible for torture ; 
 and immediately placed on duty. And then the 
 still-hunting, I think they called it — though God 
 knows it was any thing but still — there was I 
 
 VOL. I, K
 
 194 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 riding all night wet to the skin over one of their 
 never ending bogs, in search of whiskey, which 
 was of course said to be found in the bog — Oh ! 
 never shall I forget the misery of that night's 
 work V' Here he heaved a profound sigh, in- 
 tended doubtlessly to excite commiseration; but 
 which sounded in my ears more like the noise 
 that accompanies the escape of steam through 
 the safety valve of an engine than any thing 
 else. 
 
 ^^Pray enlighten us;'^ exclaimed several at 
 once. '' It must have been a splendid sight to 
 have seen your lordship on a bleak bog — driz- 
 zling rain — wet through — pitch dark— with all 
 the et ceteras of comfort f added Mrs. Gregory 
 in an ironical tone of compassion, in which 
 however, the lady did not succeed in deceiving 
 the sufferer. 
 
 " I can assure you,'^ repUed he, rather piqued, 
 ^' it was any thing but a laughable matter, as
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 195 
 
 you shall presently discover. Thus, then, you 
 must know, ladies, that, on the second night 
 subsequent to my arrival on this bog, I was 
 seated sadly and mournfully looking at my turt' 
 fire, when the adjutant of the regiment — you 
 know what an adjutant is, Miss Austin, I pre- 
 sume y 
 
 " Oh perfectly,^' was the reply ; " Papa has 
 often seen them in India.^^ 
 
 " Frequently, my dear,'^ chuckled the veteran; 
 "but I rather think you do not comprehend 
 the description of Adjutant Lord Mantar al- 
 ludes to." 
 
 " Oh, yes !" she rejoined, " I am perfectly 
 conversant with its description — long legged— 
 scanty plumage — generally found near barracks, 
 markets — bazaars, — and dirty places.'' 
 
 " Bravo !" chirped his Lordship ; his laugh 
 much resembhng the shrill squeak of a parrot 
 ill fits. , "Very good indeed: but it was not 
 
 K 2
 
 196 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 exactly that description of animal that paid me 
 a visit, — hut an officer of the regiment ; whose 
 duty, as far as I could leani, consists in sleep- 
 ing in his clothes so as to be ready, at a mo- 
 ment's notice, to run about the barracks carry- 
 ing disagreeable messages. Now, it so hap- 
 pened that this gentleman was particularly 
 complaisant and urbane in all his official duties : 
 and in his usual civil style he proceeded to 
 inform me that I was instantly to march in 
 command of a party in quest of a still. There 
 was something so absurd in the proposition 
 that, miserable and unhappy as I was, I could 
 not refrain from laughter ; in which hilarity my 
 long-legged friend in office cordially joined. 
 ' Veiy good joke indeed, sir,' I replied, en- 
 deavouring to suppress my mirth — ^ very good, 
 indeed; truly, sir, we need some pleasantries 
 among ourselves to wile away the time :' and 
 instantly I offered him a chair; and desired my
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 197 
 
 Italian valet to produce liqueurs. ' I am glad 
 you like it, my Lord,' replied my tonnentor, 
 seating himself and swallowing half a tum- 
 bler of parfait amour, ^but there is no time 
 to be lost. Allow me to recommend your add- 
 ing some warmer addition to your dress, for it 
 is raining torrents ; and I know the bog well 
 where in all probability the ganger will take 
 you.^ ^You're very kind, sir,' I rephed; 'but 
 feeling more comfortable here than in all pro- 
 babhty I should be on any bog, I have not 
 the most remote intention of moving.' * Let 
 me remind you,' cried my persecutor sipping 
 his liqueur, ' that the men are waiting mounted, 
 in the barrack yard ; and your horse is at the 
 door.' ' My horse at the door !' I exclaimed, 
 ^this is carrying the joke too far. What can 
 you mean, sir ?' ' Just what I have already 
 said,' was his reply. * Nothing more nor less 
 than, your horse being at the door, the sooner
 
 198 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 you mount the better for all parties/ and here- 
 upon the gallant adjutant replenished his glass 
 and deliberately proceeded to light a cigar. 
 ' Now this was beyond all bearing. To be or- 
 dered here and there^ at the pleasure of another 
 person^ was bad enough ; but to be sent out to 
 look for a stilly — without the most remote 
 notion as to what a still was, or where to be 
 found, — was preposterous indeed. So I plainly 
 informed my officious companion that I would 
 not go.^^ 
 
 " I fancy your Lordship would have thought 
 twice on the subject, before sending such a 
 message as that to Dundas,^' exclaimed my 
 uncle, quite horrified at the enormity of the 
 insubordination. '^ Why, I remember an officer 
 in the year 1794, who was — " 
 
 " Oh, yes, my dear General,^^ cried Mrs. 
 Gregory, '' I recollect your mentioning it. But 
 what occurred afterwards. Lord Mantar V' she
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 199 
 
 added, addressing the perfumed baron. "Yuu 
 said you would not go." 
 
 " Certainly not. How could they expect such 
 a thing ?" he rephed. 
 
 " Did you carry your point then ?" chimed 
 in my uncle, quite distressed at the possibility 
 of such flagrant iniquity being successful. 
 
 " Why — yes — no — not exactly. They a]j- 
 peared to make a point of the thing : and it's 
 so disagreeable, you know, to thwart a per- 
 son." 
 
 " Even when they've set their hearts on send- 
 ing you out still-hunting, on a wet night," said 
 Mrs. Gregor\ . " But were you successful ? 
 Did you take anything ?" 
 
 " I took cold — and next day took myself off; 
 and never stopped till I reached town — and I 
 think," he added in conclusion, " there is veiy 
 little chance of my ever going back again."
 
 200 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Thus ended the account of his lordship's 
 misfortunes : and as we finished our lunch at the 
 same period, the party broke up, and proceeded 
 on their different amusements.
 
 HARRY 
 
 AUSTIN, 
 
 
 'Sai 
 
 
 
 
 I>abnd 
 
 '■'hoi'ii.m 
 
 CHAPTER 
 
 IX. 
 
 
 
 The period was fast approaching when it would 
 be necessary for me to start for the head quar- 
 ters of my regiment. Yet, amid the incessant 
 gaiety of the old General^s abode^, I found 
 many opportunities for holding long and inte- 
 resting dialogues with my mother. So far from 
 being the gay, lively creature I remembered in 
 the days of my childhood, she had grown sdent 
 and melancholy, as if continually brooding over 
 the fear of impending calamity. It is true that 
 the mention of her husband was ever unaccom- 
 panied by the slightest intimation that he wiis 
 
 K J
 
 202 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 to her an object of aversion rather than affec- 
 tion : and never did I hear, breathed from her 
 hps, any thing that, by possibiUty, could be 
 construed as tending to convey censure of his 
 conduct towards her ; but whenever the name 
 of Sir Frederick Distowe was repeated in her 
 presence, the unconscious start, and deadly 
 paleness that immediately overspread her coun- 
 tenance, gave but too sure indication of the 
 misery hidden within her bosom. 
 
 To my repeated and earnest enquiries 
 whether there was any earthly thing, within 
 my power to accomplish, which might in the 
 slightest manner relieve her distress, I was in- 
 variably answered in the negative ; and in a 
 short time, as if by mutual consent, recurrence 
 to my step-father, or his proceedings, was never 
 made by either of us, until a very few days 
 preceding the expiration of my leave, when my 
 uncle suggested the propriety of my visiting
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 203 
 
 ' him at Selby, even were it but for a lew hours ; 
 and my mother acquiescing in the advice, I 
 promised their request should be comphed 
 with. 
 
 The evening prior to my intended departure, 
 on entering my apartment shortly before din- 
 ner, I discovered a small billet lying on the 
 toilet; and my glance at the superscription 
 convinced me it was not the first I had received 
 in the same hand-\^Titing ; and, like its prede- 
 cessor, the tenor thereof was as laconic as could 
 be wished : 
 
 " If,^' said the scrap of paper, "you ai'e 
 anxious to know more on the subject of which 
 the writer hist spoke to you, be in the shrub- 
 bery near the Druid oak to-morrow morning 
 
 ])v seven." 
 
 •/ • 
 
 Now, thouglit I, the mystery is about to fjc 
 unravelled ; and I shall at length be made ac- 
 quainted witli th(.' history of this extraordinary
 
 204 ADVENTUKES OF 
 
 creature : and, highly elated at the anticipation 
 of the morrow^s appointment, I joined the party 
 in the dining-room, and enjoyed more amust;- 
 ment from Lord Mantar's insipid drawling 
 conversation than I had hitherto derived from 
 that source. 
 
 Mrs. Gregory and myself had, by this time, 
 become great friends ; and often and strongly 
 had I been pressed by the husband to spend 
 sotne period of the approaching London season 
 with them in town. An invitation, by the bv, 
 to which I most willingly assented, provided I 
 M as enabled to effect the desired pleasure. 
 
 My uncle w^as particularly facetious this 
 evening : his baggage was fished up, from the 
 bottom of the bay of Port Royal, three distinct 
 times between the first course and the dessert. 
 And poor General Collet evacuated Guadaloupe 
 — carrying with him all the honours of war, 
 twice between dinner and coffee. The memor-
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 
 
 '2b'5 
 
 able campaign having therefore terminated so 
 favourably, he could not fail to display even an 
 unusual degree of spirits ; and ever and anon, 
 between his oft-repeated anecdotes, the old gen- 
 tleman would favour me with minute instruc- 
 tions as to my future conduct, and the best 
 mode of acquiring a knowledge, and perform- 
 ing the various duties, of my profession, which, 
 although well meant and kindly intended, had 
 as much to do with the system and customs of 
 the present day as with the mihtary evolutions 
 performed by Pharaoh when he marched his 
 army to the Red Sea. 
 
 To me it appeared that, on this evening, Miir\' 
 Austin sang more sweetly than ever ; and, as I 
 sat in a secluded and distant part of the room, 
 gazing on the many happy faces beaming with 
 animation, a feehng somewhat akin to sadness 
 crept over me, as the question rose to my mind, 
 '' Shall I ever again behold even one of the
 
 206 ADVKNTrRES OF 
 
 familiar forms now standing around?" and 
 greatly were the chances against it. 
 
 I had chosen a profession which 1 was im- 
 periously called upon to embrace in a few days. 
 British troops were almost hourly embarking 
 for Lisbon and Oporto ; the preceding year had 
 witnessed the fall of Ciudad-Rodrigo^ and 
 Badajos; the battle of Salamanca had been 
 fought, and the dreadful retreat from Burgos 
 effected. The splendid branch of the service to 
 which I was appointed had proved their gal- 
 lantry at Villa-Garcia, Llerena, St. Christoval, 
 and La Serna. The British army was at that 
 moment reposing in cantonments at Banos and 
 Lamego, ready to commence a nev.- campaign ; 
 and the regiment to which I had the honour to 
 belong was in daily expectation of receiving 
 orders for embarkation. But what there might 
 have been of melancholy in my cogitations, us 
 the long list of killed and wounded of the pre-
 
 HARRY AUSTIN.. 207 
 
 ceding year rose up before me^ was speedily 
 annihilated by one of those youthful visions of 
 honour, glo^T? charging squadrons, floating 
 banners, clang of trumpets, blaze of beauty, 
 and all the numerous appendages to a boy's 
 fancy, ^yhen first entering on life. Dull, cold 
 reahty finds little space amid the romantic and 
 never-to-be-fulfilled ideal splendours continually 
 re-occupying the place of common sense in his 
 calculations of the future. That night I laid 
 my head on the pillow with a feeUng of buoyant 
 happiness and prospective honours innumera- 
 ble ; and I rose to keep the appointment in the 
 morning, without having been again troubled 
 by a re -appearance of the ' List of killed and 
 wounded ^ night-mare. 
 
 The spot which Yny fair friend had fixed upon 
 as our ' trysting place ^ was but a short distance 
 from the house, and sometimes frequented, 
 during the extreme heat of summer, as a de-
 
 !J08 ADVENTURES OK 
 
 liglitful place whereat to effect that most un- 
 comfortable of all meals, called in England, a 
 pic-nic ; to achieve which, people leave their 
 substantial homes and all the numerous luxu- 
 ries contained therein, — and for what ? To sit 
 on wet grass, thereby probably ensuring their 
 deaths, for the gratification of eating a bad 
 dinner with their fingers, and exclaiming be- 
 tween every tough morsel, — '' How charming ! 
 How dehghtfuUy rural !" 
 
 Nevertheless, the situation fixed on was ex- 
 tremely beautiful. It was a small plot of soft 
 irreen velvet turf, surrounded at some little dis- 
 tance by a profusion of the choicest flowers and 
 evergreens procurable ; while further in the 
 back ground a dense foliage of numberless 
 giant oaks spread out their graceful branches, 
 as if to protect the delicate exotics within the 
 circle of their belt. 
 
 From one side of this fairy spot, a small
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 209 
 
 stream, bubbling from a clear cool spring, 
 flowed, with a soft murmuring sound, into a 
 white marble vase placed to receive it ; and, in 
 the centre of the whole, stood the remains of an 
 ancient denizen of the forest, from which, for 
 some unknown, though probably sage, reason, 
 the small garden had been named ^^ The Shrub- 
 bery of the Druid Oak." 
 
 Such was the place on the morning in 
 question ; and truly a more fitting spot for the 
 disclosure of mysterious romance, or the soft 
 whispers of phghted troth, could not easily 
 have been selected : and so sad and still — 
 broken only by the slender spring — has to me 
 ever appeared that lonely retreat that I confess 
 I have seldom been tempted to visit it for 
 pleasure. The old oak, blasted and withered, 
 In the midst of the soft, delicate plants and 
 stately trees, expanding their many tinted foliage 
 in all the luxuriance of beauty, is a contrast
 
 210 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 which has always appeared so strikingly great 
 as almost to sanction the belief of some awful 
 orgies having been there perpetrated^ the horrors 
 of which recent generations have been spared 
 the knowledge of. 
 
 Such were my thoughts at that moment, 
 when a slight rustling amid the leaves recalled 
 me from the reverie, and again my lovely ])re- 
 server stood before me. 
 
 " Had I not judged it highly improbable 
 that we might ever meet again/^ abruptly com- 
 menced my companion, " I should not have 
 taken the liberty of requesting this interview : 
 but, knowing your intention of starting for 
 Selby this day, and fully impressed with the 
 conviction that, in order to benefit you, the 
 communication I have to make should not be 
 further delayed — I have ventured on a stej) 
 which, if known, would assuredly involve me 
 in perhaps inextricable difficulty ; but on your
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 211 
 
 promise of secrecy I am confident I can im- 
 plicitly rely." 
 
 '^ I am already too much beholden to your 
 aid/' I replied, " willingly to be the cause, 
 however unintentional, of placing you in any 
 awkward predicament ; and much and deeply 
 have I already regretted the expose I might 
 have made on the first evening of my arrival 
 here ; but so unexpected, and so extraordinaiy, 
 did your presence, at that instant, appear, that 
 I acted on the immediate impulse of the 
 moment, without waiting the admonition of 
 my calmer judgment. Wrong, I know, I cer- 
 tainly was ; but, beheve me, the endeavour to 
 prevent your escape, without having uttered a 
 syllable in explanation of the apparent mystery, 
 took its rise from a far different and better 
 feeling than would have been awarded me bv 
 others, had you not been able to have effected 
 your departure before you were discovered — 
 I therefore trust I may be forgiven ?"
 
 212 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 " Name it not/' answered my friend ; " but 
 beware of any attempt to speak to me, or en- 
 deavour to attract my attention in the presence 
 of others, should it be possible that we meet 
 again. The very circumstance of my holdinjj: 
 the situation in which I am now placed may, 
 with God's help, make me the feeble instru- 
 ment of rescuing the innocent, and avertini: 
 crime from the already deeply-stained sinner ; 
 but, should it be known by those whose interest 
 it is to watch your steps that I have other than 
 hostile feelings in my bosom towards you and 
 yours, I should speedily be removed to some 
 distant place, where my intentions, unsupported 
 by the power of action_, must cease to benefit 
 your cause/' 
 
 " Tell me, I implore you,'' I answered greatly 
 interested at every syllable she uttered, "iu 
 Heaven's name, tell me who you are ? How- 
 came you into this house ? And in what possible
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 213 
 
 way can you have power of extending good or 
 sanctioning evil tow^ards any of my family ?" 
 
 " To your first question/' she replied^ with a 
 faint smile^-^l decHne giving any reply — who 1 
 am matters Uttle now to any but myself — but 
 ^^ hat I have been I would willingly recal^ even 
 if instant dissolution were the price demanded. 
 But a very short period back, like you, I had 
 health and happiness as my constant compa- 
 nions — son'ow was to me as a repeated tale, 
 interesting in narration ; but never did I dream 
 it could one day be made so bitterly applicable 
 to my own case — never, oh, never ! could I 
 imagine that a story of fictitious woe, with its 
 highly -wTOught colouring, created by some 
 fertile imagination, and, which, during the nar- 
 ration, I had wept over, and then thanked (jod 
 it was but ideal — never could I have foreseen 
 that those tales of supposed sorrow would, at 
 a fiiture period, fall immeasurably phort in
 
 214 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 misery of the awful reality of my after days 
 of agony and sorrow ! Ah ! Mr. Austin/' she 
 continued, the bright tears silently, though 
 swiftly, chasing each other down her pale, yet 
 lovely, countenance, "many have known misery 
 who were bred in luxury and joy — many have, 
 in an instant fallen from the bright and heavenly 
 path of innocence to a state of endless self- 
 reproach and irremediable remorse ; but few, 
 I trust, have, hke me, been cast, as it were, 
 from, comparatively, the summit of earthly en- 
 joyment, down into that dark abyss of shame 
 and anguish where, entangled by the many 
 meshes that enchain me, I feel the utter hope- 
 lessness of escape/' 
 
 Here the poor girPs sobs became painfully 
 distressing ; and, had I not instantly supported 
 her, she must have fallen. To procure some 
 water from the little spring was soon achieved ; 
 when, finding herself somewhat relieved, with
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 215 
 
 .i violent effort she appeared to master her 
 more painful feeUngs, and, in a few seconds, 
 continued — 
 
 " Degraded as I must be in your estimation, 
 how much more so shall I appear when I 
 confess the position in which I am placed in 
 your family — a position which God, who reads 
 the hearts of all, well knows worlds would not 
 tempt me to occupy, did not my heart plainly 
 presage that, some day, it may be in my power 
 materially to serve those whose conduct I am 
 now directed to watch over for, I much fear, 
 diametrically opposite reasons — I am placed in 
 your family as a — spy ?' 
 
 " By whom }" I exclaimed ; " for what j)ur- 
 ]30se ?" 
 
 '^ By whom,^^ was the reply, " I dare not say ; 
 and for what purpose I have only vague, yet, in 
 my mind, not less certain, surmises ; but of this 
 rest assured, their intentions bode you no good."
 
 216 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 " Oh, why not be more expHcit ?" I repHed, 
 ^^ if there is positive danger, why not point out 
 the quarter whence I may expect it, so as to be 
 on my guard at least ? Why do not you at once 
 reveal the authors of the intended evil? And 
 should danger threaten you on account of the 
 disclosure, my uncle will undoubtedly be most 
 willing^ as well as able, to shield you fi'om its 
 effects. Tell me,^' I exclaimed with eagerness, 
 and pressing her cold hand within mine, as a 
 sudden remembrance of my step-father's dishke 
 shot through my brain, " tell me, I implore you, 
 is Sir Frederick Distowe in any way impUcated 
 as the author of the threatened calamity ?" 
 
 " Sir Frederick," almost screamed my com- 
 panion, " for the love of mercy name him not — 
 there is a secret — a dreadful, horrid secret, con- 
 nected with that name, which to utter would 
 hurl down many to destruction, and from mi/ 
 lips it can never
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 21 7 
 
 wretched girl gazed fearfully around, as thouo-h 
 she apprehended some dreaded apparition might 
 start up before her. 
 
 It was in vain I endeavoured to calm her 
 mind ; I had unwittingly touched a chord which 
 responded so fearfully that I almost doubted 
 whether her senses had not forsaken her. 
 
 '^ Forgive me/' I exclaimed, " for having occa- 
 sioned you so much pain ; and much and natu- 
 rally anxious as I am to learn more on this, to 
 me, most interesting subject, nevertheless, rather 
 than see you suffer as your manner too legibly 
 demonstrates, I intreat you to forego a con- 
 A ersation which so greatly agitates you ; and, 
 ]jerhaps when you are more calm, you will 
 communicate by writing whatever you may be 
 enabled to apprize me of?" 
 
 " That will ])e impossible," was her reply ; 
 " letters may miscarr\', and, if indeed 1 should 
 be able to dispatch one to you unknown to 
 
 VOL. I. L
 
 •21^ ADVENTURES OF 
 
 otht'i's, it would be out of the question to sup- 
 jjose it })robable for me to receive a reply with 
 •siiuilar secresy. No, I cannot write without 
 ahuost certain detection; and I have ah-eady 
 told vou \\hat the result would be were it but 
 tin- an instant conjectured I was unwilling to 
 ))hiy the mean, infamous part assigned me." 
 
 -Then we must part^ I suppose," was my 
 answer, '' without any farther elucidation of the 
 mysterious warning than that danger pursues 
 me, but from w^hat quarter, or for what reason, 
 I nuist still remain ignorant. Is this your final 
 determination ?" 
 
 - Of one person I can warn you," answered 
 my companion, "and that person is the indivi- 
 dual who met you on your first arrival in 
 London. Beware of his acquaintance — should 
 you meet again, watch his eveiy word and ac- 
 tion respecting you, with jealousy and caution — 
 and with the full certainty that, if in his power
 
 HARRY Al'STIN. 21 D 
 
 to accomplish it, he has tlie inclination to work 
 you evil.'* 
 
 ''But who is he?" I excUiinied, interruptinc: 
 her — '• what motive can influence him against 
 a stranger ?" 
 
 ^- No ! no !" she replied, ''you are no strangfr, 
 heheve mc — weigh well, and ponder on my 
 \A ords — trust to the sincerity- of my good 
 intentions tovvards you; but, should discoveiy 
 await me, regret for having sacrificed myself to 
 ensure your happiness will never haunt my 
 lM)som ; but the hour has come when we must 
 pai't, and perhaps for ever — farewell \" and ex- 
 tending her small hand in token of fiiendshi]), I 
 was on the point of accepting the proferred 
 kindness when, uttering a low expression of sud- 
 d(Mi alarm, she darted into the shmbbery and 
 was immediately out of sight. 
 
 Instantly I turned my head to discover the 
 cause of so sudden a de})ai-ture ; and to mv 
 
 I. '2
 
 220 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 inexpressible annoyance, standing within two 
 yards of me, I beheld that most consummate of 
 all empty-headed dandies. Lord Mantar. 
 
 "^Pon my honour," he commenced, "had I 
 the most remote conception of the possibihty 
 that my appearance should have proved so con- 
 tre-temps, I assure you my dear, Mr. Austin, I 
 would rather have sacrified my possessions than 
 hiwe presented myself at so mal a propos a 
 period. But I will instantly retire — Gad," he 
 continued, examining the spot through the me- 
 dium of a splendidly chased eye-glass, but, 
 without offering to move one inch from where 
 he stood, " I really must give you credit for 
 your selection of the locale — the very spot for 
 an affaire de cceur ; but, i' faith, I am truly soriy 
 1 drove away Mrs. Gregory." 
 
 '^ Mrs. Gregory I" I responded, in a tone of 
 siirj^rise. 
 
 *'Egadl my dear friend," was the answer.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 221 
 
 " was it not Mrs. Gregor}^ who fled at my ap- 
 proach? But no matter, of course it Mas not 
 then — oh, no, now I remember, it coukl not 
 have been — oh, no, impossible \" 
 
 ^^ Lord Mantar," said I, not a little delighted 
 to discover his ignorance as to whom my com- 
 panion had been, yet deteraiined at the same 
 time to check his impertinence, " no apology is 
 due to me from your having chosen a v^alk in 
 my uncle's groimds, m hich are invariably acces- 
 sible to his visitors ; neither have I a right to 
 complain of your unseasonable appearance ; for, 
 unseasonable I allow it to have been, whether 
 accidental or premeditated. The person I }ia\e 
 just parted from was the bearer of information 
 of considerable importance to myself, and wholly 
 unconnected with your lordship. That person, 
 however, I feel bound to state was not tlie 
 lady whose name you had just been pleased to 
 utter. Who the person was is a matter tliat
 
 222 ADVENTIRES OP 
 
 concerns not yon in any decree whatever; but 
 this much I may inform you, respecting yi>^r 
 second supposition of the meetinj]^ having had 
 for its object the indulgence of an affaire tU 
 coMvr, that you are in that instance as greatly in 
 eiTor as in the former one ; yet^ from cnrcum- 
 stances unnecessary to repeat^ you will greatly 
 oblige me by retaining the occurrences of this 
 morning in your own breast ; for should you 
 reveal what accident^ I presume^ has made you 
 acquainted with^ it may occasion much incon- 
 venience and probably distress." 
 
 '^'^ Doubt me not, my dear friend," was his 
 reply, "^not one iota of this assignation with 
 
 Mrs. ^ I beg your pardon — I mean^ that 
 
 not a syllable regarding this accidental rencontre 
 shall pass my lips, since such is your desire." 
 And, taking off his peculiarly shaped hat, the 
 introduction of which into fashion had bestowed 
 upon him a yet not forgotten sobriquet, with an
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. '22 A 
 
 idotic grill, iiitended, like Lord Burleigh's shake 
 of the head, to convey volumes of meaning — 
 the ex-hussar glided from my path to act[uaiiir 
 the first listener he could obtain Avith a full and 
 improved detail of all he had, and all he liad 
 not, that day witnessed. 
 
 On entering the brealdast-room. it was soon 
 made manifest how the noble baron had ke{)t 
 my secret; for the covert insinuations, with 
 which I was regaled, were showered witii u 
 lavish disregard of economy ; and, though the 
 hints and inuendoes thrown out were n()t 
 immediately directed to me, there could be 
 no mistake but that some, at least, were 
 aimed at me. 
 
 This was all veiy annoying, the more so as 
 my kind old uncle looked in no way gratified : 
 and, to do him justice, he exerted himself to tlie 
 utmost ni again fishing up his baggage in the 
 Bay of Port Royal, where I supposed it had
 
 224 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 been once more sunk during the night, but no 
 one seemed interested in the detail. 
 
 There were many opportunities offered for 
 explanation^ had I wished to give any ; but not 
 choosing to reveal the time state of the case^ 
 and being equally unprepared to retort in the 
 same style of badinage, my silence sanctioned 
 the supposition that there was something to 
 conceal ; which impression on the minds of the 
 party, and of the ladies in particular, did not 
 tend to a suspension of their vai'iously directed 
 attacks for information. But what vexed me 
 most was the half-son^owful, half-reproachUd 
 look I encountered from my cousin Maiy. Amid 
 the amusement consequent on the numerous 
 witticisms passed on the occasion, Mary ap- 
 peared unconscious of the merriment, or igno- 
 rant of the cause that gave rise to it. Perhaps 
 she thought that, had I not been engaged in 
 some transaction not very creditable, where
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 225" 
 
 "would have been the advantage ui jneserviiijr 
 the unbroken silence with which 1 received the 
 sallies of the company ? Where there is niy.s- 
 ter}^^ there must be reserve^ and, though it does 
 not follow that, in ever}" instance of the latter, 
 guilt must necessarily be the cause of it, yet, 
 to a young and ingenuous mmd, there is always 
 a feehng connected with subterfuge and aversion 
 not very favourable to those who atlupt them. 
 
 Such was the impression on my cousin's 
 mind when I bade her farewell ; for, although 
 she pressed my hand at parting, and uttered 
 her •■• Good bye, Ilai-ry/' in the kind, soft, mu- 
 sical tone so peculiarly her own, still 1 fancied 
 the affectionate warmth of feeling aa hich I had 
 before experienced, in her manner, had given 
 place to a colder and more distant demeanour. 
 
 Not for the universe would 1 have saeriheed 
 one particle of Mar}''s good c/piniou ; l)ut, liow 
 was it possible I ould c.vi)lain all the circum- 
 
 L 5
 
 tI2() ADVENTTRES OF 
 
 stances of my acquaintance with my unknown 
 friend, without breaking the promise I had so 
 seriously given ? Neither was a young and inex- 
 perienced girl exactly the person best fitted to 
 enact the part of confidante in so delicate, and 
 still mysterious, an affair ; therefore, seeing no 
 help for it, and the carriage being at tlie door, 1 
 bade adieu to the party, leaving them to discuss 
 the matter as in their separate wisdoms might 
 seem proper.
 
 HAIIUY AUSTIN. --/ 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 ^' Where shall I drive to, sir?" tiuiiiirtcl the 
 post-boy, checking his horses as the curriage 
 entered AVantage :— '' Good liorses at ' the 
 George,' sir ?'' 
 
 ^' Then (h-ive to ' the George,' " I rephed, 
 little caring to \vlKit house he took me, pro- 
 vided it tacihtated my progress along the road. 
 
 In went the spurs, and away flew the \ chicle, 
 in imitation of the system pursued in the sister 
 kingdom of " keeping a trot for the avenue ;"' 
 for, squaring his elbows, and at the same time 
 judging his chstance with the greatest nicety.
 
 228 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 iny charioteer pulled short up at the door, 
 causing a noise and confusion as though he had 
 l^een for the last two hours urging his steeds, as 
 if eno-ao-ed in a matter of hfe and death. 
 
 " Please to alight, sir ?" — and the officious 
 waiter, opening the carriage door, had the steps 
 down in an instant, whether I wished to tle- 
 scend or not ; but, not caring to disappoint this 
 worthy member of the napkin, I left my move- 
 aljle mansion, when whose lugubrious counte- 
 nance should I espy louring over the blinds of 
 the parlour window, but the not-to-be-mistaken 
 visage of Hedak Beg ? 
 
 But how unlike the joyous Oriental whom I 
 had seen spurring the panting Doctor round 
 the mess-table! No smile irradiated his coun- 
 tenance — pleasure with him appeared to have 
 lost her sweets,— his large eyes were sunk in 
 their sockets ; and his very beai'd had lost the 
 ])riUiant jet, once the envy and admiration of all 
 Ispahan,
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 22J) 
 
 The sound of the carriage-wheels driving to 
 the door in some measure recalled him to recol- 
 lection ; and^ on recognising me, a faint, sickly 
 smile, for an instant, partially lighted up his 
 handsome features. 
 
 What could have caused so great an altera- 
 tion in so short a period? my curiosity was 
 excited ; and, anxious to probe the mystery, if 
 indeed any existed, I sent in my card, request- 
 ing permission to call on him. Instantly I re- 
 ceived a reply in the affirmative, and, entering 
 the parlour, Hedak Beg greeted me with great 
 apparent warmth and sincerity. 
 
 So obviously had care or disease laid its 
 destroying fingers on tlie poor Persian that 1 
 involuntarily enquired ^^hat had happened to 
 discompose him? when, immediately drawing 
 his forefinger across his throat, I was given to 
 understand either tliat he had perpetrated mur- 
 der, or that the ceremony of extinction was to
 
 2.30 ADVENTT^RES OF 
 
 be practised on himself. This pantomimic 
 performance was accompanied with such groans 
 as would have moved the lieart of a master 
 chimney-sw^eep ; while the faces he made, in- 
 dicative of his distress, must have carried the 
 horse-collar prize, by general acclamation, at 
 any fair in the kingdom. 
 
 His instructor, or protector, or whatever he 
 might have been, who accompanied him at 
 Norwich, was not now with him ; neither was 
 there mvich occasion for his sen ices, for so 
 diligent and unremitting had been the Persian's 
 attention to the study of our language that he 
 was now fully competent to wander through 
 England, divested of the persecutions of a 
 Cicerone. 
 
 Having seen the wonderful effect a couple of 
 bottles of claret once had on the spirits of the 
 Oriental, I recurred to it as a remedy which 
 might possibly be advantageously administered
 
 HARRY AT'STIN. '2M 
 
 in the present case ; therefore^ desiring lunch U) 
 be brought, I besought my afflicted companion 
 to join in its demolition. At first, he appeared 
 but little inclined to gratify his own appetite, 
 or my curiosity; but, as he proceeded in his 
 repast, his sobs became less audible, while hi?* 
 tongue relaxed from its silence, and, before the 
 remnants of our dejeune disappeared, Hedak 
 made me acquainted with the following cause 
 of his present wTctchedness ; but, as the lan- 
 guage he pressed into his service might not be 
 quite intelligible on paper, I w ill take the liberty 
 of repeating the substance in my own words. 
 
 It has been ])reviously stated that this worthy 
 individual was despatched from his own court, 
 to England, on some secret or important mis- 
 sion ; but what that might have been none, 
 save those to whom he was referred, had suiy 
 opportunity of discovering. That it was 
 friendly, however, to our Government, the
 
 2.32 ADVENTriiE8 OF 
 
 presents of which he was the bearer sufh- 
 cieiitly testified ; w hile the attention bestowed, 
 and facihty afforded for his untiring \'isitations 
 to all things and places worthy of encounter, 
 denoted him as no unwelcome visitor. 
 
 Time sped gaily on : with all he saw, and 
 every thing he heard, the Persian was en- 
 chanted. As a novelty he was sought and 
 caressed, as all liovelties are sought after and 
 admired, whenever they condescend to visit our 
 shores for the purpose of gulling that most 
 gullible of gentlemen — John Bull. Numerous 
 were the festivities and splendid the fetes given 
 in honour of the illustrious stranger; and no 
 party nor assemblage was deemed complete, 
 unless the long beard of the Persian was dis- 
 cerned among the fashionable phalanx. All 
 this was delightful, indeed, and, basking in the 
 sun-shine of favour, poor Iledak seemed to for- 
 get that, as the splendour of his costume, and
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 233 
 
 the naivete of his rephcs, ceased to be piquant 
 as their novelty wore off, so would his presence 
 fjiil in creating that flattering sensation in so- 
 ciety which he had almost begun to consider as 
 his right. Meanwhile, a cloud was gathering 
 around the horizon of the stranger, which, 
 when made visible to his eyes, impressed him 
 with considerably more dismay than could have 
 been caused by the secession of all the leaders 
 of unmeaning follies in existence ; and the re- 
 membrance of past and anticipations of future 
 dissipations were scared to flight, and de- 
 molished with far greater facility than they had 
 been accumulated by the pleasure-loving Per- 
 sian. In short, a countryman of his oA\n 
 appeared upon the stage, whose sudden appa- 
 rition filled the bosom of Hedak with countless 
 visions of bowstrings, cimetars, and poison. 
 
 The common policy in eastern courts of em- 
 ploying one party to act as spies upon another
 
 2.M ADVENTURES OF 
 
 was not deviated from in this instance, as rv- 
 j^arded the envoy from Persia ; for, hardly had ho 
 departed from Ispahan, loaded with presents and 
 manifold marks of his sovereign's favour, than 
 his most deadly enemy was, with all secrecy and 
 haste, despatched to the same destination, with 
 strict injunctions to watch vigilantly, and with- 
 out his knowledge, each act and movement of 
 his political opponent. So well and faithfully 
 did the Mirza execute the trust, that his prt - 
 sence in England was wholly unknown to 
 Hedak, until a few days prior to om- meeting at 
 Wantage. But no sooner was he made ac- 
 quainted with the dread certainty of the fact, 
 and finding, moreover, that his foe had for 
 months been residing in London unknown, 
 than his own experience in such matters con- 
 vinced him that his fate was sealed. 
 
 What discoveries the Mirza had eifected, or 
 what crimes or omissions Hedak had perpe-
 
 UARBV AISTIN. 
 
 tiated, I know not: but it was evident that !..■ 
 gave himself up for lost, and for a time con- 
 sidered death as inevitable. A gleam of hope, 
 however, burst upon the darkness that sur- 
 rounded him, and, for an instant, his prospects 
 assumed a brighter appearance. One of his 
 suite coolly, and in quite a matter of business- 
 like style, recommended that the Mirza be re- 
 „,oved, not merely from one habitation to 
 another, but bona fide from off the earth in 
 toto, and deposited in it. Nothing could possi- 
 bly, under existing circumstances, have been 
 more agreeable and satisfactory to his master 
 than this proposition; and, as Persian notions 
 on such a subject differ widely from our less 
 enlightened ones, it was unanimously resolved 
 on, as a measure which, in its results, must 
 prove highly advantageous to Hedak, and con- 
 sequently productive of benefit to each and all 
 of his followers.
 
 2.3(5 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 The object of the Mh'za^s presence and seclu- 
 sion was too palpably evident to admit a doubt ; 
 and whether he could find just cause of complaint 
 against Hedak to lay before his sovereign on his 
 return was matter of little moment, since it was 
 not to be imagined so long a journey and such 
 trouble \Aould have been entailed on him to no 
 purpose, when a little invention, filling up any 
 cavity in the history, might enable him to frame 
 a beautifully wrought tissue of crimes and em- 
 bezzlements, such as no Persian could possibly 
 be guilty of — and live. It was matter of the 
 greatest moment, therefore, that such narration 
 should not reach the royal ear, at all events 
 before Hedak had an opportunity afforded of 
 j)roving his powers of invention in opposition 
 to those of the Mirza. 
 
 It was true enough that, had he managed to 
 reach his sovereign's Court prior to the arrival 
 of his enemy, the chances would be ^reatlv in
 
 HARRY AUSTIN.* 237 
 
 liis fa^•our ; but who would trust to wind and 
 tide, when a small spoonful of arsenic could set 
 the matter to rest, and compose all the agitated 
 breasts of his suite in half an hour ? Besides 
 which, if the Mirza chose to die in England, 
 there would not be any one to tell tales of him 
 hi Persia. The reasons thus assigned for his 
 departure for another world were by them con- 
 sidered satisfactory and conclusive; and the 
 edict went forth for putting him to death. 
 
 So great a difference exists in the manners 
 and customs of different nations, that it is not 
 to be wondered at the Persians having over- 
 looked the trivial circumstance of the possibility 
 of conflicting opinions arising on this subject ; 
 but such unhappily was the case, for, by the 
 oflricious interference of those who should have 
 had nothing whatever to do in the matter — since 
 it could not have interested them in the least, 
 Hedak and the whole of his attendants were
 
 2 JS AnVp:NT(rRES OP 
 
 k([)t in a most painful state of anxiety ; and the 
 Mirza was enabled to continue his observations 
 and his crimes. 
 
 Having discovered the residence of their foe, 
 three gentlemen most sumptuously dressed, and 
 anned with written authority^ left Hedak Beg's 
 residence and arrived at the Mirza's mansion. 
 Being admitted, that gentleman was with much 
 ceremony and courtesy informed that, having 
 been intrusted with the commands of the King 
 of Persia to visit England, Hedak Beg, consider- 
 iui:; himself as the representative of Majesty in 
 this kingdom, could not longer wink at the 
 ]K)litical intrigues which, he affirmed, the Mirza 
 to be carrying on, much to the dishonour of his 
 king, and the ultimate ruin of his country — the 
 de])utation had therefore waited upon him for 
 the purpose of ascertaining whether it was his 
 pleasure to be decapitated by a cimitar, strangled 
 with a bowstring, or poisoned with arsenic hke
 
 IfARRY ATJSTIN. 239 
 
 a rat, specimens of all three of which were laid 
 upon the table for his choice and approval ; but, 
 mioY to selecting the one for his own amuse- 
 ment, the Mirza, unlocking a small cabinet, pro- 
 duced a counter order from his sovereign, by 
 which he was directed to supersede Hedak Beg, 
 should he find cause for doubting his fidelity, 
 and which cause the Mirza now assured the 
 deputation he had ample reasons for entertain- 
 ing. This was a new view of the case, and the 
 gentlemen with the practical instruments seemed 
 rather at a loss how to proceed, until he of the 
 bowstring, being rather out of practice and un- 
 willing to lose such an opportunity of improving 
 i!i his profession, candidly allowed the correct- 
 ness of all that the Mirza had stated. '• But," 
 said the learned functionary-, " I conclude it is 
 admitted that the document handed by our 
 royal master to Hedak Beg was dehvered prior 
 tu the one in possessiou of the Mirza?"
 
 210 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 " Certainly, '^ he replied, '' no doubt of it ; and 
 consequently mine, being of a later date, super- 
 sc^des all former orders to the contrary/' 
 
 '* Not exactly," answered the other. " It 
 appears to me that his Majesty^s first order 
 sliould be first acted upon, and then, if you 
 have any thing further to adduce, of course* we 
 are bound to obey." 
 
 This reasoning did not in the least accord 
 with the wishes and feehngs of their host, who, 
 finding; his visitors inclined to save him the 
 trouble of deciding on his mode of death, by 
 selecting an implement themselves, begged per- 
 mission to say his prayers before starting for 
 tlie palace of all true behevers ; and, permission 
 having been granted, he went in quest of his 
 carpet, without which no Persian can with 
 decency address himself to Mahomet. 
 
 The possession of his prayer-carpet was not 
 the sole object he had in view, for, on gaining
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 241 
 
 the landing-place on the stairs, he made a bolt 
 highly indecorous for a man of his rank ; and, 
 uttering the most discordant shrieks and yells, 
 started for the hall door ; and, thrusting it open, 
 rushed into the street a good ten paces in ad- 
 vance of his pursuers. The latter, however, 
 were not idle, for, immediately on discovering 
 the intention of the Mirza, each, seizing his 
 pecuhar badge of office, made play after the 
 fugitive at their topmost speed, thus affording 
 a novel entertainment to the possessors of the 
 crowded foot-path, which they were not loth 
 in taking advantage of. 
 
 First, flying with outstretched arms, as if im- 
 ploring protection — his long robe fluttering in 
 the breeze — and uttering most horrible sounds, 
 in an unknown tongue, came the Mirza himself, 
 a picture of fear, horror, and absurdity. A few 
 yards in his rear, pursued the operator on the 
 bow-string, who, unable to gain ground on his 
 
 VOL. I. M
 
 21'J ADVENTURES OP 
 
 victim, continually cast the cord whjch he held 
 towards the head of the fugitive, something in 
 imitation of the lasso — then came the function- 
 ary with the sword, brandishing his weapon in 
 every direction, much to the imminent danger 
 of all his Majesty's hege subjects ; while, last of 
 all, pounding his decoction of poison with a 
 pestle and mortar which he had brought for the 
 l)urpose, appeared the third of these eastern 
 executioners. Every one of whom, including 
 the pursued, screamed and shouted most 
 dreadfully. 
 
 At lirst, the crow^d, taking them for some 
 strange mountebanks anxious to draw the atten- 
 tion of the people, were considerably amused ; 
 h\it, when the sw^ord-bearer, distancing the pestle 
 and mortar gentleman, and passing him of the 
 lasso, made a cut at the Mirza, thereby dividing 
 his right ear exactly in two, the populace thought 
 fit to interfere ; and, soon afterwards, the whole
 
 HARRY Al'STIN. 243 
 
 party made their appearance in a much fre- 
 quented building, known by the name of the 
 Marlborough-street Pohce Office. 
 
 An interpreter ha%4ng been procured, the 
 wliole transaction came to hght; whereupon 
 Hedak was summoned in person, and, had not 
 the Magistrate received private intimation of 
 the foreigner's utter ignorance of our laws, and 
 of the desireabdty of his being leniently dealt 
 >vith, the more so as he was the representative 
 of sovereignty— he stood a good chance, in con- 
 junction with his myrmidons, of figuring in the 
 pages of the Newgate Calendar; but, as the case 
 stood, he received an admonitory lecture, and, 
 having been bound over to keep the peace to- 
 wards all his Majesty's subjects, but more 
 especially towards the temfied'^ object of his 
 attack, he was released from bondage, and 
 permitted to depart for his home. 
 
 Perfectly satisfied with the proof of Hedak 
 
 M 2
 
 >2ii ADVENTURES OF 
 
 ik-f^'s kindly intentions towards him, the Mirza 
 deemed it adviseable to depart ; so, without fur- 
 their intimation of his movements, he wound 
 ills way to Portsmouth ; and, before his enemy 
 could weave a second net for his entanglement, 
 he was ploughing the waves towards Persia, and 
 inventing a new tale of crime against Hedak, 
 (^very leisure moment he could spare from the 
 laborious duties of sea-sickness. 
 
 '^ For my part," continued the Persian, " I 
 am dead. The Mirza will reach home first. 
 His story will be told before I land, and — '' again 
 (h'awing his finger across his neck — " I am 
 nothing." 
 
 He had just returned from taking leave of 
 i>onie friends who had been extremely kind to 
 l^nn, he informed me, and was then on liis way 
 to town, whence he purposed immediately to 
 start for the coast. ,^,1] rwii 
 
 I strongly pointed out to him the absurdity of
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 245 
 
 pursuing his voyage to Persia^ confident of the 
 deadly reception which would there await him ; 
 but all my arguments were vain. 
 
 ^^What/^he exclaimed^ " can I do here? If 
 disgraced at home, shall I not be publickly 
 pointed at and noted as a cast-away and rene- 
 gade from my countr}- ? Moreover, how can I 
 exist, when all my supplies will be stopped ? 
 No, I must not sacrifice my honour. I \^i{l 
 return to Persia and take my chance ? Wliy 
 should I eat dirt? Farewell — my liver is turnetl 
 into water, and my beard into ashes. May the 
 tombs of the Mirza^s father and mother be 
 defiled — may his sisters hve upon filth— and 
 may he die the death of a dog \'' And spitting 
 on the ground, to show his detestation of that 
 particular family, Hedak Beg entered the gretMi 
 travelling chariot and vanished — while I, bidding 
 the post-boy turn his horses' heads towards 
 Selby, recommenced my sohtary journey.
 
 246 ADVENTURES OP 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 The ill-formed^ red brick mansion of Sir 
 Frederick Distowe^ and the few stunted trees 
 which^ being valueless^ had been permitted to 
 remain on the grounds, had long since passetl 
 from the hands of the Baronet, by virtue of 
 the auctioneer's hammer ; and at Selby were 
 those orgies now performed which had brought 
 so unenviable a name on his former residence. 
 
 There were few or no gentlemen in the 
 neighbourhood whom he could persuade to 
 associate with him ; neither, indeed, was he 
 particularly anxious for their society ; for little
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 247 
 
 gratification would have been experienced on 
 either side, when it was more than probable 
 he would have found it impossible to select anv 
 of the immediate residents embued with tastes 
 and pursuits similar to his own. 
 
 It is not, however, to be conjectured that, on 
 that account, the Baronet secluded himselt 
 like a hermit, and lived apart from his fellow- 
 men — quite the contrary. The house \\as 
 invai-iably crowded — scenes of riot, provision, 
 and crime, were hourly perpetrated; and the 
 quiet mansion of my father was now as much 
 shunned by all the respectable portion of 
 the communit}^ as it was formerly sou^rht and 
 appreciated. 
 
 But who were his boon-companions ? The 
 lowest of the low — men whose characters had 
 long since ceased to afford notoriety, but from 
 their infamy — and whose hardened consciences 
 had become callous from repeated iniquities.
 
 248 ADVENTITRES OF 
 
 thus being rendered totally regardless as to 
 what means were employed so that they were 
 enabled to continue that profligate and aban- 
 doned style of life to which they had been 
 so long accustomed. 
 
 Such were the persons assembled in the 
 dining-room on my arrival; and there was a 
 peculiar expression of triumphant cunning 
 lurking round my step-father's mouthy as he 
 welcomed my unexpected visits which I was at 
 a loss to comprehend. 
 
 " I am dehghted to see you^ Mr. Austin/' 
 said my dearly beloved connection, on my 
 arrival being made known to him. " I only 
 regret not having been apprized of the honour, 
 in order to have made your reception more 
 comfortable to yourself — but/' he added, with 
 a sardonic grin, " more acceptable to me it 
 could not have been." 
 
 Of course, I entreated that no ceremony
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. '2-19 
 
 might be used ; and, on his stating, with many 
 declarations of sorrow, that the house was so 
 full he knew not where to put me, I requested 
 he w^ould set his mind to rest on that score, 
 since it was a matter of perfect indifference to 
 me where I slept — and, moreover, I took care 
 to inform him that my reason for having dis- 
 turbed him and his companions was solely to 
 wish him adieu prior to starting for my regi- 
 ment, which, in all probability, would speedily 
 be summoned on foreign service. 
 
 Such a party as the one in which I found 
 myself it had never, up to this period, been my 
 lot to encounter, and sincerely do I hope it may 
 never be again. ,,.,, j^», . 
 
 The dinner had been laid in my poor father's 
 library ; and I was rather puzzled to account 
 for Sir Frederick's assertion of scarcity of room 
 in the house, when I found there were only 
 three persons assembled at the repast, exclusive 
 
 M 5
 
 250 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 of our two selves ; ])ut those three were indeed 
 a host in themselves. What they were, or 
 rather, what they had been, as regarded their 
 professions or callings, it would have been im- 
 practicable to discover — so little were they 
 inclined to be communicative ; but though few 
 words passed their lips, nnich wine did ; and 
 even my friend, the doctor of saint Patrick^s 
 night, with his auto-da-fe garment, would have 
 had no cause to complain of their abste- 
 miousness. 
 
 As to Sir Frederick, he was far more moderate 
 in his libations than his guests ; but they con- 
 tinued, in the most praiseworthy manner, 
 emptying bottle after bottle, as though their 
 very lives depended on their drinking. 
 
 The three worthies, thus engaged, were, in 
 fippearance, the very opposite to each other. 
 One, the most hideous of the party — and whom 
 T afterwards discovered to have been an attorney,
 
 HARRY AISTIX. 2 J I 
 
 and who, in reward for senices didy appreciated, 
 had been struck off the rolls — was a short, 
 stout, vulgar-looking, moilal, — his small, grey, 
 eyes deeply resting in their sockets, in the 
 manner so highly estimated by prize-fighters : — 
 his big head, from which hung down two lonir, 
 thick, ears, was thatched with a dense matting 
 of dirty, red, hair: while his hands, in size. 
 colour, and texture, like elephants^ hoofs, were 
 continually thrust out from his body, as if to show 
 his strength, and there, for a few seconds, kept 
 extended, even like unto the sails of a wind-mill 
 on a calm day. This gentleman luxuriated in 
 the name of Lowerd. 
 
 The next one of the party was likewise a 
 lawyer, but, unlike his less fortunate com- 
 panion, he still contrived to retain his name 
 on the books, more through chance than merit, 
 obtaining, there])y, the privilege of lawfully 
 cheating his Majesty's liege subjects to the
 
 232 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Uttermost extent of his ability. This respected 
 individual was, in person, the very reverse of his 
 colleague; though, in iniquity, it would have 
 been dithcult to decide on \^hich to ])ostow the 
 palm of rascality. 
 
 For mutual advantage, these two reputable 
 members of the profession agreed upon the 
 desirability of acting before the world as though 
 utterly ignorant of each othei*'s existence : but, 
 so extremely useful was the aid of one to the 
 other that, when a complicated piece of villany 
 was about to be committed, they generally 
 sought each other for counsel and support. 
 
 The third of the trio was accosted by the 
 others as " Humphreys f and the black scowl 
 v/ith which he occasionally favoured the party 
 bespoke a ready instmment for carr}'ing into 
 effect the designs of his companions, w^here the 
 subtlety of cunning could not succeed, without 
 the aid of brute force.
 
 HARRY ArsTix. 25.3 
 
 Such were the convlvials assembled ; but for 
 what purpose^ except drinkmg, I was ignorant ; 
 nevertheless^ I could not avoid observ'ing 
 occasional glances exchanged between the host 
 and his guests^ apparently indicating that, were 
 it not for my presence, so much taciturnity 
 would, in all probability, have been dispensed 
 \^ith. 
 
 The clock had just denoted the eleventh hour 
 to have passed, yet nothing wear}' of their 
 occupation did my companions appear; when 
 a loud noise in the hall betokened the arrival 
 of an addition to our party ; and, almost 
 immediately, the door of the library being 
 thrown open, in walked three more personages 
 each as villanous in his countenance as those 
 with whom I had been dining. 
 
 " Where's Jackson ?" enquired Sir Frederick 
 of one of the last comers. 
 
 " He'll be here presently,*' A\as the reply —
 
 254 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 and, almost at the same moment, to my utter 
 {iniazcment, in Avalked my acquaintance at 
 Hatchett's, my claret-loving, benevolent friend, — 
 he who evinced such anxiety not to hurt the 
 feelings of his two debtors when leaving the 
 theatre, on the first night of my arrival in town. 
 Astonished beyond measure at meetjng this 
 person where last of all places I should have 
 expected to find him, I w as determined to renew 
 our acquaintance, and instantly accosted him as 
 a friend. On hearing my voice he quickly ran 
 his eye round the table until it rested on my 
 })erson, when he seemed not only surprized, but 
 considerably agitated and annoyed ; yet, if such 
 were the feeUngs of his mind at that moment, 
 their outward and visible form was speedily sup- 
 ])ressed ; for, eyeing me with a broad stare of 
 astonishment clearly expressive of " whom on 
 earth can you be ?'^ he passed on to a vacant 
 chair, and took no further heed oi' my presence.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 255 
 
 And this, thought I, is the man who, but a 
 few days ago, was so exceedingly anxious for the 
 pleasure of my acquaintance; and this is the 
 person whom my fair unknown has cautioned 
 me to guard against : and forthwith I prepared 
 to follow her advice, and closely mark the pro- 
 ceedings of the changeable Mr. Jackson. 
 
 From the conversation which ensued, I 
 gathered that the last party had but just ar- 
 rived from the performance of some exploit, the 
 nature of which was not disclosed ; but, as the 
 night wore on, the reserve of all gradually wore 
 off: and, so far from being looked upon in the 
 light of an intruder, which seemed to have been 
 the case prior to the additional entree, each in- 
 dividual now appeared anxious to ingratiate 
 himself into my good opinion, by shewing every 
 civility in his power, — among others, the 
 friendly assurance that another bottle would 
 greatly benefit my health was not forgotten.
 
 O'yCt ADVENTrRES OF 
 
 Making some trilling apology for a short 
 al)sence^ my step-father soon left the apartment, 
 and I observed he was speedily followed by my 
 sworn friend of claret-drmking notoriety, Mr. 
 Humphreys, and the two inestimable lawyers. 
 Their absence, however, was brief; and they 
 returned, at different periods, with as uncon- 
 cerned a manner as if wholly unconscious — 
 poor innocent souls, — of any, save their indi- 
 vidual selves having left the room during the 
 night. Yet I had good reason for conjecturing 
 that the significant glances interchanged among 
 them foretold a more recent combination of 
 their intellects than they appeared willing I 
 should give them credit for. 
 
 "The wine ^s with you, Mr. Austin/^ sim- 
 pered forth the expelled limb of the law, stretch- 
 ing out his huge arms to the evident annoy- 
 ance of his immediate neighbours, " The wine 's 
 with you, sir.^^
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 257 
 
 " Yes, Mr. Austin, the wine 's with you, — 
 pray help yourself, and pass the bottle/^ softly 
 echoed his lanky cotemporary in sin. 
 
 '^ Exactly so,^' growled the practical member 
 of the firm, his eyes glaring from under his 
 huge shaggy eye-brows like two large green 
 lights, at the end of a dark avenue at Vauxhall, 
 " Pass the wine, please, sir, — bottle stands with 
 you.^^ 
 
 ^^ Surely !" exclaimed the soothing voice of 
 Mr. Jackson, ^^ you ^11 not allow the wine to 
 pass, Mr. Austin, without compelling the bottle 
 to pay toll?'' 
 
 " Of course, not ! of course, not !" exclaimed 
 one and all of my inestimable new acquaint- 
 ances, at the highest note of their differently 
 pitched voices, much resembUng the noise oc- 
 casionally heard at Exeter 'Change, when the 
 whole fercp naturcB have simultaneously exerted 
 their delicate lungs — " Fill your glass., — fill."
 
 258 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 Now, all this had very much the appearance 
 of a (lead set being contemplated on the pai-t of 
 the combined forces against my single person ; 
 and, feeling very loath to oblige them to the full 
 extent of their wishes, I endeavoured to escape 
 the impending danger by compromise. 
 
 "In tinith, gentlemen^^ said I, though I do 
 not think one of them at any period of his life 
 could have laid claim to the appellation, — "In 
 truth, gentlemen, for this evening I have drunk 
 as much, or indeed more than I had the least 
 desire to consume, nor should I have remained 
 so long at the table had it not been for the 
 ]jleasurc of enjoying your agreeable society — I 
 have travelled far since morning ; and, as I am 
 aware how disagreeable it must be for a con- 
 vivial party to witness the presence of a person 
 not joining in their festivities, I will, with your 
 permission, rid you of my society, and retire for 
 the night."
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 259 
 
 " No — no — no/' cried they all at once ; and 
 again the menagerie of wild beasts sent forth 
 horrible and discordant yells. But the practical 
 member of the fraternity, on receiving a sign 
 from the discarded attorney, rose from off his 
 seat, and, in the coolest manner imaginable, 
 turned the lock of the door ; and then as un- 
 ceremoniously turned the key into his pocket. 
 
 I have before alluded to this mode of allowing 
 every man to do as he liked ; and, as it was no 
 micommon custom then, I was neither aston- 
 ished nor offended at the act. Yet there was 
 something so unprepossessing and dissimilar in 
 the appearance and conversation of the persons by 
 whom I was sun*ounded, to what I had hitherto 
 been acquainted with, that, I confess, I felt any 
 thing but comfortable when the huge bully 
 appropriated the possession of the key to him- 
 self. One small circumstance, however, in 
 some degree re-assured me, and that was the
 
 2G0 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 evident ignorance betrayed by my companions 
 touching the different apertures whereby to 
 make my exit from^ or entrance into^ the room 
 in question ; and it appeared to have wholly 
 escaped their recollection that the chances were 
 greatly in favour of my knowledge of the locali- 
 ties of the building being considerably superior 
 to theiri=, — and so it was ; for, e?<;clusive of the 
 door so safely guarded by the colossal Mr. Hum- 
 phreys, there was another, opening from a fic- 
 titious book-case, which led into what formerly 
 had been used as the dining-room ; but whether 
 the communication had been nailed up, or was 
 still open, I was of course ignorant ; I inwardly 
 resolved, however, to ascertain the point on the 
 first opportunity; and, if possible, escape from 
 my not very agreeable Bacchanalians. 
 
 In order to lull suspicion, I pretended to 
 regard my detention as a joke, and endeavoured 
 to chime in with the humours of the party ; but
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 261 
 
 the task Mas so extremely distasteful^ and so 
 little amusement did I find in listening to the 
 recital of bad and coarse jokes, that, ere long, 
 my absence of mind attracted notice; and I 
 was speedily raUied on my dullness. 
 
 " I fear, Mr. Austin,^^ commenced the gentle- 
 manly Mr. Jackson, " our society meets not the 
 full concurrence of your approval, for, during 
 the last half hour, we have not been favoured 
 with the sound of your voice." 
 
 "The fact is, I am rather tired to-night,*' was 
 my reply ; " and, consequently, not perhaps, in 
 as good spirits as when last I had the hono\ir 
 of your company." 
 
 " And when might that have been ?" en- 
 quired the smooth, sofl-tongued Mr. Jackson. 
 
 " Not long ago, at Hatchett's, to be sure :" 
 answered I : " surely your memory may so far 
 serve you as to call to mind the evening you 
 accompanied me to the theatre ?"
 
 L'fi2 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 " Me V he exclaimed^ as though struck with 
 the greatest astonishment, " Mc ! why, my dear 
 sir, you must suffer imder some most unac- 
 countable mistake ; I never entered tlie house 
 you mention in the whole course of my exist- 
 ence ; and, as for the theatres ! why, sir, I look 
 upon such places as the lowest sinks of iniquity, 
 and the very circumstance of your couphng 
 my name with such frivolous places of amuse- 
 ment must make it fully apparent, to those who 
 IvHow me best, how utterly impossible it is that 
 you can be borne out in your assertion/^ 
 
 '^ My good sir," was my reply, '^ the senti- 
 ment you have just uttered coincides fully with 
 the advice you gave me on the night I alluded 
 to ; iuid so confident am I of the absolute folly 
 of supposing myself deceived that I could stake 
 any sum on my not being mistaken." 
 
 " I accept the challenge," cried the thin man 
 of parchment from the end of the table ; '' I'll
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 263 
 
 bet you a couple of hundreds you are de- 
 ceived." 
 
 •• Done^" I exclaimed^ in the full confidence 
 (.)f success^ entirely forgeting the warning of my 
 fair unknown — " done — and, what's more. I'll 
 double it with any other gentleman present." 
 
 "Accepted/^ roared out the keeper of the 
 key ; " but how to prove it ?" 
 
 " My dear young friend," chimed in Mr. 
 Jackson, " don't now, I implore you, pray don't 
 be so rash, I assure you, on my honour,^' here 
 the h}'pocritical rascal doubled his two, fat, 
 spungy hands over his upper stomach, '' I do 
 assure you, Mr. Austin, you're mistaken — don't 
 bet, I beseech you, it's throwing your money 
 away. You're sure to loose ; and I am confident," 
 looking round the table with an insinuating 
 smirk on his countenance, " that no gentleman 
 here would allow you to squander your pro- 
 ])eity so needlessly." 
 
 But the two gentlemen who were destined to
 
 '2CA ADVENTURES OF 
 
 benefit on the occasion, appeared to view the 
 case in a far different light ; and, as I continued 
 obstinate in my assertion, no further opposition 
 was made to the bets standing. 
 
 '• Pray, sir," inquired the disgraced lawyer, 
 addressing me, " did the meeting which you say 
 occurred at Ilatchett's take place lately ?^' 
 
 ^^ Certainly,^^ I replied, naming the very day 
 and hour. 
 
 "Then, sir," answered he, late of the legal 
 profession, " I am of opinion that this gentle- 
 man on my right, together with myself^ can 
 satisfactorily settle this matter, since, on the 
 night in question, we were at one period in Mr. 
 Jackson's society, and, if Mr. Austin acknow- 
 ledges to have been at the same place and at 
 the same time with him, of course Mr. Austin 
 wins. If, on the contrary, I can prove through 
 the instrumentality of two respectable witnesses 
 that our friend was at another place, at such a 
 time, on the night before alluded to, and if the
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 265 
 
 other gentleman denies any knowledge of having 
 met Mr. Jackson there ; then^ gentlemen^ I 
 should say the latter is the winner. However/^ 
 continued this degraded remnant of an attorney, 
 " it is but fair that every thing respecting this 
 bet should be conducted on the plainest and 
 fairest principles. ^^ 
 
 ^^ Oh ! certainly, certainly, of course/^ inter- 
 rupted the melodious concert of bibeds. 
 
 '^ Well then, gentlemen,^^ he continued, " I 
 propose that Mr. Austin specify on paper the 
 places where he aUedges to have been in com- 
 pany with Mr. Jackson on that night, between 
 the hours of eight in the evening and twelve, 
 while I and this gentleman on my right will 
 each set down the spot and time when we saw 
 our friend during the same hours. Shoidd our 
 two statements not tally, the bet is Mr. Austin^s, 
 but should they agree and yet be at variance 
 with that gentleman's, I submit the other party 
 
 VOL. I. N
 
 2GG ADVENTURES OF 
 
 should be considered as winners. And^ to pre- 
 vent the possibility of any apparent connivance 
 between the parties, I prohibit Mr. Jackson from 
 speaking on the subject until the papers are 
 opened.^^ 
 
 And a very judicious arrangement on the part 
 of the lawyer this was ; for, as Mr. Jackson sat 
 on the opposite side of the table, it would have 
 been rather awkw^ard had he, on being called 
 upon to declare how he was occupied that night, 
 named some different place of temporary so- 
 journ from his confederates ; but, on the other 
 hand, the two trusty individuals, being seated 
 next to each other, had the opportunity of 
 copying one from the other, whilst I was setting 
 down the different places we had visited. 
 
 Having laid our seuarate papers on the table, 
 luid having again been subjected to Mr. Jackson's 
 hypocritical entreaties that the bet might even 
 in this, the eleventh hour, be considered as off;
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 267 
 
 and all agreeing to stand by the result of the 
 present mode of proof — the attorney's document 
 first underwent examination, when I beheld 
 written in a fair and legible hand — "between 
 nine and eleven o'clock. No. S, Parlour, Black 
 Dog, Bedfont." 
 
 Well, thought I, this is marvellous indeed; 
 for it is not to be conjectured I was as well 
 acquainted with their proceedings as I have 
 allowed my readers to be ; and, fully expecting 
 the next paper would allege my benevolent 
 friend to have occupied the Khremhn, at 
 Moscow, or the Seragho at Constantinople, or 
 for aught I knew, a back seat in the Infernal 
 Regions themselves, I patiently waited the 
 opening of the second paper, which was to de- 
 cide the fate of my four hundred pounds, and 
 that point was soon settled ; for, acting on his 
 stated determination to see fair play, the tallv- 
 ative la\\yer thrust the opened scrap under my
 
 2G^ ADVENTURES OF 
 
 iiosc, whereon 1 found inscribed ^'^ I was with 
 Mr. Jackson, at the Black Dog, Bedfont, from 
 seven till ten. 
 
 ''^ All we want now, gentlemen/^ again com- 
 menced my tormentor, " is for Mr. Jackson to 
 declare where he was on the night, which has 
 been made the subject of this bet. And accord- 
 ingly the worthy being alluded to rose with 
 much apparent regret, and, prefacing his speech 
 with a reiteration of all the advice he had pre- 
 viously showered upon me, ended by assuring 
 the company that, reluctant as he was to have 
 his name in any way mixed up with a bet, how- 
 e^ er fairly conducted, and never was a decision 
 given with less prejudice to either side, he must 
 sa^;, and with grief he acknowledged it, that his 
 honour forbade his stating anything save the 
 simple truth, however detrimental it might be 
 to either party. 
 
 '• Bravo, highly honourable — upright fellow — 
 d d fine fellow !^' yelled the usual chorus.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 2f>9 
 
 " Such^ gentlemen, being my determination, 
 I am compelled to acknowledge that, on the 
 night in question, for three days previous, and 
 the two subsequent ones, I was never outside 
 the doors of the Black Day Hotel , at BedfontT 
 
 I noW' began seriously to doubt whether I 
 had not lately been visited by ghosts or devils ; 
 or whether the earth was cumbered with dupli- 
 cates of the human race ; but it was very clearly 
 demonstrated that my two hundred pounds were 
 to change masters in duphcate, for he of the 
 tarnished character, thrusting a sheet of paper 
 before me, requested on the part of his friends 
 to be furnished with a check for the amount : 
 this was soon accomphshed, and the two drafts 
 having found theii' way into the pockets of my 
 upright companions — the claret resumed its 
 tour. 
 
 Supper was now announced ; but Sir Frederic 
 had not as yet returned, but no one how-
 
 270 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 ever seemed in the slightest degree inconve- 
 nienced by his protracted absence^ nor was any 
 remark hazarded as to the cause of his deten- 
 tion. My duphcate friend determined to sup- 
 ply the place of my host^ and, with numerous 
 civiUtieSj intreated me to consider myself at 
 home, which, knowing the house was my own^ I 
 thought savoured somewhat of uncalled for 
 officiousness. Every syllable that escaped him, 
 during our conversation, tended more fully to 
 confirm my opinion of the gentleman at 
 Hatchett's, and the invalid at the Black Dog, 
 Bedfont, being one and the same person ; and 
 ;€iice, on his uttering a monosyllabic expression 
 of surprise, something involuntarily brought to 
 my mind the remembrance of the Carmelite 
 Friar ; and, on my attention being called to the 
 other end of the room, I saw sufficient to jus- 
 tify my suspicions, and confirm my doubts. 
 More than half stupified with the quantity of
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 2/1 
 
 wine he had swallowed, the bully of the party 
 had placed his hat upon his head, and, pulling 
 forth a long clay tobacco pipe, he was in the 
 act of endeavouring to hght its contents ; and, 
 a silver mug, containing I suppose some fa- 
 vourite beverage, being grasped by his left 
 hand, completed, with the exception of the 
 shaggy garment, the tableaux vivantes I had al- 
 ready twice seen, namely, once at the mysterious 
 orgies in Piccadilly, and again in the house of 
 my confinement. 
 
 " What are you staring at, young ^un y he 
 exclaimed, seeing me regard him most intently. 
 " Have you met me too, at Hatchetts^, my 
 covey? Eh?" and the beast laughed and 
 hiccupped most unmercifully. 
 
 " Nonsense ! nonsense ! Humphreys," cried 
 Mr. Jackson, who, for some reason, best known 
 to himself, seemed determined to act as medi- 
 ator and peace-maker during the night, "be 
 quiet, man, be quiet."
 
 272 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 " Why should I be more quiet than others ?'' 
 replied the drunken monster^ " and why should 
 I be insulted^ I should like to know, eh ! tcU 
 me that?" And down came his huge fist on the 
 table, with a noise like a clap of thunder, mak- 
 ing all the punch-bowls and glasses dance like 
 so many figurantes in the last scene of a 
 pantomime. 
 
 '' Nobody has insulted you/* answered Mr. 
 Jackson, "you must be drunk — what do you 
 complain of?" 
 
 " Don't talk to me," he replied ; " I knows 
 what^s what — that ere chap, with the muffin 
 face, says as how he's seen me before, and I says 
 he 'arnt, that's what I calls an insult." 
 
 "Oh!" joined in the lawyer without a cha- 
 racter, "that's bad between gentlemen, very — 
 but Mr. Austin, I doubt not, will make suitable 
 reparation for the unintentional injury you have 
 sustained : my dear sir — I'll — ^" 
 
 " ril have damages," roared the brute — da-
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 2/3 
 
 mages for defamatioiij as you skulking lawyers 
 
 call it; by I'll not be insulted without cause 
 
 I'm d d^ if I stand it.'^ And^ rising to his 
 
 feet, the moving monument of flesh seized the 
 tankard from which he had been drinking, and 
 ^^ith his utmost force hurled it at my head, 
 but w ith so bad an aim that it passed far above 
 me, but totally destroyed a very valuable paint- 
 ing and correct likeness of my father, which 
 was suspended over the fire-place ; and, losing 
 his balance in the exertion, down he sank 
 on the very chair which my readers may re- 
 collect as having called to my remembrance 
 many a kind and affectionate endearment from 
 my lost pai'ent. 
 
 I could have treated his attack on mc, per- 
 sonally, with as much contempt as an accusa- 
 tion so totally void of foundation, and coming 
 from such a som'ce, fully merited ; but, when I 
 beheld the likeness of my beloved relative i'ur 
 
 N 5
 
 274 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 ever destroyed ; and, when I saw the disgusting 
 mass of brutality which had occasioned its un- 
 justifiable and wilful annihilation, stretching out 
 his almost insensible carcass in the very chair 
 whence had so often issued many a kind and 
 affectionate sentence addressed to me ; I felt the 
 blood boiling in my veins at the gross insults 
 ottered to my father's memory : and, making 
 but one spring towards the object of my im- 
 placable hatred, with a supernatural strength 
 which at any other period I should have felt 
 myself incapable of assuming — I seized the half 
 unconscious delinquent by the collar, and in an 
 instant he was rolling on the ground. 
 
 But this feat did not ensure my conquest, for, 
 speedily rising from the carpet, the unwieldy 
 mammoth, foaming with rage and drunkenness, 
 would have immediately crushed my slender 
 carcass in his powerful gripe, had he not been 
 restrained by the interference of the peace- 
 maker, and the two disciples of parchment.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 275 
 
 '^ Clear case of assault and batten^/' yelped 
 out the latter of the two : " youVe all in the 
 wrong, Mr. Austm, decidedly wrong — any jury 
 would give it against you — advise you not to 
 stand a trial — compromise, my dear sir, com- 
 promise.^^ 
 
 '^ By all means," echoed Jackson, " hush it 
 up. I dare say, Mr. Humphreys will take a 
 thousand and let you off." 
 
 " A thousand V I rephed — " no, not one far- 
 thing w411 I bestow upon that i-utfian." 
 
 "Nay! nay!" interfered Jackson, "for hea- 
 ven^s sake, my young friend, restrain yourself^ 
 and on no account give way to such language. 
 My friend Humphreys is as much a gentleman 
 as any of the company present, and conse- 
 quently entitled to the satisfaction that one 
 gentleman has a right to demand from another ; 
 unless, indeed, he prefer bringing an action 
 against you for assault, neither of which," he
 
 276 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 concluded with a sigh, " are agreeable remedies." 
 " If such is the case/^ I answered instantly, 
 *' and if, as you say, Mr. Humphreys' situation 
 in society entitles him to gentlemanly satisfac- 
 tion (but which I beg to observe I very much 
 doubt), I shall be ready at any time and at any 
 pla'ce, to meet him in the morning.'' 
 
 " Oh !" exclaimed the bully, " you want to 
 skuUc do you ? You want to be off and cut your 
 stick, do you ? without either paying the money 
 or fighting hke a man. Once for all, sir, will you 
 pay me a thousand pounds, as part of the re- 
 muneration owing by you for your cowardly 
 assault ?" 
 
 ^^ Never ^"^ I repUed, " not one farthing." 
 
 "Then will you fight?" was the rejoinder. 
 
 " Yes, but not here, at this hour, and in the 
 present state of excitement in which you are 
 from ch'ink and passion: I ^s^ not — but to- 
 morrow I am at your service."
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 277 
 
 "Aha! to-morrow — you skulking coward," 
 shouted the drunken giant, " you a soldier — 
 you call yourself a soldier, and afraid to fight — 
 I'll post you in ever}" barrack-yai'd in the 
 kingdom/' 
 
 Human patience could stand his insulting 
 language no longer ; so, turning to the peace- 
 maker^ I expressed my w illingness to gratify the 
 blood-thirsty propensity of my antagonist. 
 
 " Gentlemen," said he of the fat hands, in 
 reply to my communication^ " deeply and most 
 sincerely do I regret the serious turn affairs 
 have now assumed ; for my part, I call all pre- 
 sent to bear testimony to my entire non-approval 
 of the whole business. If you will fight , gen- 
 tlemen," elevating his eye-brows, and bringing 
 his shoulders in line with his ears — " if, as you 
 say, Mr. Austin, you are resolved to fight — fight 
 I suppose you must ; but, remember, I've no- 
 thing to do with it; let happen what may, I
 
 278 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 wash my hands of the entire proceeding. Oh 
 that this pleasant^ convivial meeting should have 
 thus terminated ! Alas ! alas !" and, with his 
 eyes turned up to the ceiUng, away went my 
 conscientious ally to ram the pistols up to the 
 very muzzle — the one with ball — the other with 
 blank cartridge only ! 
 
 During the foregoing speech, the counten- 
 ances of the rest of the party betokened minds 
 at any thing but rest ; and more than once they 
 essayed to enter into conversation with the de- 
 termined duellist; but their arguments produced 
 no favourable effect. To no compromise w ould 
 he listen short of instantly receiving one thousand 
 pounds as a salve for his wounded honour ; and 
 that sum, for many reasons, I was determined 
 not to surrender — the tirst and foremost of which 
 was the horrible appearance of cowardice which 
 my admission of such extortion could not fail 
 to imply.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 279 
 
 One by one^ all left the room — the two la^\Ters 
 lingering by the side of my opponent, with 
 whom they kept up a low-toned, but animated, 
 conversation until the last moment. In fact 
 their voices rose hardly above a whisper ; but 
 when the gentleman with fat hands entered the 
 room bringing with him the weapons of death, 
 1 distinctly heard the latter of the men of wisdom 
 nmtter, " I don't like it — its not the way — get 
 into trouble — never intended — bad will come 
 of it.'' 
 
 To which the other replied, "All's sure;" 
 and the two limbs of Satan departed. 
 
 The plot now began to thicken with a venge- 
 ance ; and, without the exertion of any great 
 stretch of fancy on my part, a vague suspicion 
 began to haunt me that the chances were pretty 
 considerably in favour of my never having an 
 opportunity of making myself personally ac- 
 quainted with my brother-officers : and indeed,
 
 280 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 the scene before me was ill calculated to arouse 
 pleasurable sensations. 
 
 It was about dve o'clock in the morning. The 
 faint light of day here and there, struggled 
 through the crevices of the closed shutters ; 
 while the candles, for the most part flickering 
 in their sockets, cast a sickly green shade on the 
 various mementoes of the past banq\iet, — vases 
 overturned, broken glasses, and chairs upset, 
 with here and there a half emptied magnum of 
 wine mingled with a heterogeneous mass of the 
 remnants of the overnight's supper — bore ample 
 testimony to the lateness of the hour at which 
 the guests had separated. The fire in the 
 grate had long since been extinguished; and 
 the broken picture in its massive frame, and 
 the disordered array of the furniture strewed 
 over the room, — bespoke the character of its 
 occupants. 
 
 I was standing on the very spot where the
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 281 
 
 coffin of my father rested but a few years before. 
 What my feeUngs were, at that moment^ let 
 those — if any such there be — who have been 
 similsCrly situated, answer. To aver that no 
 sensation of trepidation crept over me wo\ild be 
 to declare myself possessed of less sensibihty 
 than has ever fallen to the lot of mortal ; but to 
 allege that even for one instant I regretted the 
 determined course I had adopted would be to 
 acknowledge myself more deficient in common 
 animal courage than I have ever known anv 
 
 o » 
 
 member of the glorious profession to which I 
 belonged capable of pouitraying. 
 
 Slowly, and with a countenance as pale as 
 death itself, Jackson approached the table by 
 the side of which I was standing, and dehberately 
 placed the two pistols exactly before me, and 
 within reach — the muzzles pointing to my body, 
 about two or three inches apart from each other, 
 and at half cock.
 
 2S2 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 As he laid the weapons on the table, I could 
 not avoid observing the tremulous action of his 
 hand which shook so violently that it required 
 a second attempt on his part ere the pistols 
 were placed to his satisfaction. The expression 
 of his countenance it would be vain for me to 
 attempt describing. His eyes appeared glazed — 
 his hair was disordered, — and, more than once, 
 after anxiously casting his gaze from one to the 
 other of us — he appeared anxious to speak, but 
 the words seemed to stifle in his throat. Was 
 it anxiety for the result of the conflict — or Avas 
 it fear for himself should the death of either 
 party ensue ? The waning flicker of the hghts, 
 shedding their dying rays on the actors of the 
 coming tra^*edy, imparted to his pallid features 
 a colour and expression almost terrific ; and his 
 half opened mouth and lustreless stare betrayed 
 how fiiUy awake he was to the horror of the 
 completion of the intended murder.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 2S;3 
 
 Meanwhile the features of my antagonist bore 
 their usual stamp of all the passions most 
 execrable in man. Not a muscle betrayed the 
 slightest fear as to what might be the result of 
 our conflict ; nor did he express the least anxiety 
 relative to the prehminary arrangements, but, 
 treating the whole business with the most stoical 
 indifference, he might more readily have been 
 taken for a casual spectator than for a principal 
 11 this nefarious proceeding. 
 
 Feeling convinced* that I was to be sacrificed 
 without a chance being given in my favour, yet 
 not knowing how to avert my fate without ac- 
 ceding to the ruflfian^s demands, I eagerly en- 
 quired of the pacificator ^Ahy Sir Frederick 
 Distowe had remained absent all night? and 
 requested that he might be summoned, as it was 
 my earnest and most particularly anxious desire 
 to communicate with him prior to the duel 
 taking place. " Mr. Jackson,^^ I continued, —
 
 284 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 little caring at that moment what I said, " I 
 desire either that I may be permitted to leave 
 the room in order to speak with Sir Frederick 
 Distowe ; or that my step-father may be in- 
 formed of the position in which I am placed 
 and my desire of seeing him here instanter,'' 
 
 ^^Sir Frederick Distowe/^ with difficulty 
 articulated Mr. Jackson, " is not here, nor has 
 he returned to Selby since quitting the party 
 last evening after dinner." 
 
 " Not one syllable do I believe," I exclaimed 
 with furious energy. " You thrust a quarrel on 
 me through the instrumentality of your bully, 
 to goad me on to fight by daring to asperse my 
 character, you refuse to meet me in the open 
 iace of day, well knowing your accursed vil- 
 lanies could never brook the light — but you 
 say, unless I stand up in this room, and at such 
 an hour as this to be butchered in cold blood, — 
 I am a coward. Now, mark you, Jackson ! if.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 285 
 
 before last evening, I was in any degree ignorant 
 of your true character, no room is now left to 
 doubt it. For reasons of which I am uncon- 
 scious, you have perpetually watched, tracked, 
 and pursued me until you have succeeded in 
 bringing me to bay. If I escape the ordeal your 
 wickedness has prepared, I will unmask you to 
 the world as the lowest sycophant and villain 
 in existence. If this duel must take place, why 
 do not some of your colleagues, who but a few- 
 minutes since sneakingly departed, stay, as 
 Enghshmen should do, and see fair play ? Why 
 am I to be placed here alone \\-ithout the aid of 
 a friend, while my opponent is permitted the 
 assistance of the most accomphshed rascal in 
 existence ? Once for aU, I here solemnly declare 
 it to be my fixed conviction that, if I fall, you 
 and you accomphce Mill unquestionably, and in 
 tlie fiiUest sense of the term, be guilty of ' wilful 
 murder.^ I have nothing further to add than
 
 286 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 that I dare you as men, — and despise you as 
 assassins/^ 
 
 For an instant the resolution of Jackson 
 seemed shaken, but it was only for a moment ; 
 and, quickly banishing the feeling of remorse, 
 or twinge of conscience that assailed him, he 
 beckoned my antagonist to the other end of the 
 apartment, where, for about half a minute, they 
 remained in close conversation, with their backs 
 towards me. 
 
 The pistols, as I before stated, were placed a 
 few inches apart from each other, opposite to 
 me, and within my reach. What motive or 
 suspicion actuated the movement it were im- 
 possible to allege ; but, urged by an inde- 
 scribable impulse, in which, as on many after 
 occasions, I have fancied I could plainly dis- 
 cern the finger of Providence, — I reversed the 
 position of the weapons, leaving that which had 
 been nearest to myself now adjacent to my
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 287 
 
 adversary, while, of course, that which had been 
 placed farther from my grasp now rested 
 almost under my hand. 
 
 " Mr. Austin/^ said Jackson, in a trembling 
 and feeble voice, advancing with Humphreys to 
 the spot where I stood, — "it is not my inten- 
 tion to waste either words or time in reply to 
 the groundless invectives with which you have 
 thought fit to assail me ; I have only to state 
 that my friend, according to the laws of duel- 
 ling, is entitled to the choice of pistols. One is 
 loaded with ball, — the other is not : Mr. Hum- 
 phreys, choose.'^ Upon which, after receiving 
 on almost imperceptible, approving nod of the 
 head from his second, he laid his hand upon the 
 the one nearest to him, remarking, at the same 
 time, — " that to him it was a matter of small 
 moment." 
 
 " llie other pistol is yours, sir ;" half-uttered, 
 half whispered Jackson, — "Now, gentlemen, 
 cock."
 
 28S ADVENTURES OP 
 
 Mechanically I did as directed. The muzzles 
 of our weapons nearly touched. I mentally 
 uttered a supplication for mercy to my Creator : 
 tl\e word was given, " Fire,"— and the immortal 
 soul of my opponent stood in the presence of 
 his God, — there to render up an account of his 
 manifold misdeeds — past — and unrepented of.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 289 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 Scarcely conscious of my actions, I rushed 
 to the side door by the book-case, which ^-ield- 
 ing to my pressure, I rapidly passed through 
 the rooms that inten'ened between the Ubrarv 
 and the hall ; nor did I pause an instant till I 
 felt the ^e\d^'ing breeze of the fresh morning air 
 pass across my throbbing and fevered temples. 
 So suddenly awful had been the termination 
 
 VOL. I. o
 
 2D0 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 of the fray that it was sometime before I could 
 distinctly call to mind that the ^vhole of the 
 last night's horrible proceedings had not their 
 sole existence in my deranged imagination. 
 But, as my more tumultuous feeUngs gradually 
 calmed down, I recollected each past occur- 
 rence too vividly to admit a doubt of the 
 dreadful reality. 
 
 Once, I thought I caught the sound of voices, 
 as though persons were in close pursuit, and, 
 crouching amid a quantity of fern on the 
 downs, I listened in an agony of suspense, — 
 but all again w-as still. From my hiding-place, 
 I at length cautiously endeavoured to look 
 around, but no one could be seen, save two or 
 three labourers slowly moving towards their ac- 
 customed toils ; and how gladly, at that moment, 
 would I have exchanged places with any one 
 of those poor di'udgers of the soil, if, by the 
 barter, I could have freed my mind from the
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 291 
 
 terrible load that seemed to weigh me to the 
 earth ! 
 
 In vain I laid to my soul the flatteriiifr 
 unction of having perpetrated the act as a jus- 
 tifiable measure of self-defence. In vain I 
 counted over the brutal beai'ing and insulting 
 conduct of my antagonist, and the too palpable 
 plot that was laid for my destruction. Still, 
 towering above all the arguments I could ad- 
 duce in palliation of my crime, my conscience 
 exclaimed — "Tlie blood of a feUow-creature 
 stains your hands !" 
 
 I had no friend to consult — my uncle was 
 far away, — I had not been at Selby since I was 
 a mere child, and could not therefore expect 
 any one to interest himself for a })erson branded 
 as I was with the death of a human being. 
 There was the old rector, to be sure ; but would 
 he exert himself in opposition to the wishes or 
 interest of his then ])atron, Sir Frederick Dis- 
 
 o 2
 
 292 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 towe, who^ I had not the sHghtest doubt, was 
 the prime mover in the whole plot ? I could not 
 expect it. The more I pondered over my 
 wretched state, the more miserable I became ; 
 and what the result might have been, on my 
 brain. Heaven alone can tell, had not the fatigue 
 1 had previously undergone, and the mental 
 agony of the last few hours, so completely 
 shaken my physical frame that, unconsciously, 
 the transactions of the last day and night gra- 
 dually lost their distinctness, and, yielding to 
 the influence of an overpowering stupor, I fell 
 into a sound and death-like slumber. 
 
 " Hallo, my friend !" exclaimed a voice close 
 to my ears, which speedily brought me to a 
 recollection of my miseries, and with them 
 a prospective introduction to Jack Ketch, — 
 " Hallo, young man ! you appear to have gone 
 to roost as quietly here as if there was no such 
 thing as a certain edict, intituled — ' An Act for
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 29.3 
 
 the better suppression and punishment of all 
 vagrants^ vagabonds, and beggars ;^ to one of" 
 which class, I may take upon myself to affirm 
 you pertain. I would strongly recommend ycnu* 
 attending to my advice ; and, in this instance, 
 I'll give it without charging for it, which, let 
 me tell you, is no customary donation of mine ; 
 I'd advise you to tramp, my man — come, cut 
 and be off.'* And my fresh acquaintance grinned 
 and chuckled at his own facetiousness, while, ever 
 and anon, he amused himself with flanking his 
 gig-whip at the various wild flowers, whose 
 proximity offered opportunity for proving his 
 dexterity in their decapitation. 
 
 By this time I was fully awake, and had no 
 difficulty in recognising the person of all others 
 who was most likely to help me in my critical 
 position ; and, strange to say, he was the only 
 individual in the neighbourhood whose exist- 
 ence escaped my mcinory, when mentally enu- 
 
 o 3
 
 294 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 inerating the different beings who might be in- 
 clined to support me : and this was no other 
 tlum the dapper httle man of wisdom, whom 
 my readers may remember to have last seen, 
 when searching, with his two famihars, for my 
 father's will. 
 
 Although a few years had passed since that 
 period, time seemed to have treated him most 
 leniently ; and, in sooth, to judge by the colour, 
 texture, and cut of his vai'ious garments, they 
 also appeared uninjured by the great destroyer. 
 He was elevated to a considerable height, on 
 the dexter seat of the identical bright yellow 
 gig which had often-times excited my childish 
 admiration ; the old brown horse, and bright 
 brass harness, still continued in the service of 
 their methodical neat little master. His clothes 
 were brushed with a scrupulous nicety, and the 
 very beaver on his hat shone as smooth and 
 unruffled as had been the case with the felt of
 
 BARBY AUaTiX. S9S 
 
 bis predecet^oTs. Between his knees, reposed^ 
 as in the days of yore, the dark purple bag 
 composed of some shining nisding texture, and 
 in whose capacious interior rested the pecuniary 
 &te of mortals "' not to be counted**^ 
 
 It was a considerable time before I could 
 make the spruce httle lawyer recognise my per- 
 son ; but, when at last he was satisfied as to my 
 identity, he very naturally expreKed his aston- 
 ishment, in no unmeasured strain, at finding me 
 in such a predicament. To gratify his curiosity 
 on that and other points was at this moment 
 impossible ; for I felt that erery instant I re- 
 mained in the vicinity of Selby my chances of 
 detection increased in a manifold degree. Ac- 
 cordinglv I endeavoured, in few words, to im- 
 press him with the wmviction that some great 
 and awftd calamity was suspended orer my 
 head: finom which my only chance of escape 
 was by instant departure and concealment.
 
 296 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 No sooner was the kind-hearted attorney 
 made acquainted with my wish, than, desisting 
 from all further importunities, and smothering 
 his curiosity as he best might, he entreated 
 me to mount into his vehicle, where, wrapped 
 up in the ample folds of his blue camlet 
 cloak, I might have dared the prying gaze of 
 the Holy Inquisition itself. My httle friend 
 whisked his whip around the fat carcass of 
 the old brown quadruped, and at a tolerable 
 pace we bent our way towards his not far dis- 
 tant domicile. 
 
 During our drive, I found I was in a great 
 measure beholden to my old preceptor, the 
 Rector, for my good fortune in having been 
 discovered by my friend, who informed me that 
 the reverend divine having, in his zeal for the 
 parish, eaten enormously at a late vestry meet- 
 ing, had been talvcn dangerously ill; and, fancy- 
 ing he had devoured his last dinner upon earth.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 297 
 
 despatched a messenger to the man of wisdom, 
 in order that he might make arrangements for 
 the disposal of the wherewithal to furnish 
 savoury repasts to his successors : and, the 
 lawyer having been detained at the house of 
 the invahd until it was too late to return home 
 on the previous evening, was di'iving back thus 
 early in the morning, when, fortunately for me, 
 I was discovered sleeping by the road-side, under 
 circumstances savouring strongly of vagrancy. 
 
 In brief time I performed my ablutions : and. 
 Having selected such articles from my host^s 
 wardrobe as were absolutely indispensible, I 
 was soon seated in his snug httle back- 
 parlour, in the enjoyment of a very sub- 
 stantial repast. That over, my friend hesi- 
 tated not again to require an account of my 
 adventures ; in consequence whereof I gave him 
 a full detail of all that had passed since my 
 arrival at Selby.
 
 298 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 At the commencement of my narrative, the 
 httle la\\7er, with a most significant smile 
 cin-Ung round the corner of his Up, shghtly 
 incHned his ear to one side, as though fully 
 aware of the swindhng propensities of my 
 dramatis personce ; but, as I proceeded to 
 explain the compulsory manner in which I had 
 been dragged into the quarrel, his short legs, 
 miable to reach the ground, sawed backw^ards 
 and forwards with the velocity of a steam- 
 paddle; and, when I reached the final catas- 
 trophe, my auditor could remain stationar}' no 
 longer — for, entirely forgetful of his habitual 
 regularity of manner, he sprung from his chair, 
 as suddenly as if he had been seated on a hive of 
 bees, and, thrusting his hands into his breeches' 
 pockets, until he attained their lowest depth, 
 he darted from corner to corner of the room, 
 like a ferocious animal pacing his confined 
 den.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 299 
 
 '^ Good God ! sir," he at length exclaimed, 
 ^^ who could have foreseen such villany ? Such 
 loul, atrocious villany ! But come, my young 
 friend, let us talk this matter over calmly — 
 already I can partly fathom the motives that 
 influenced these -s^Tctches — ^j^et, still, there is 
 much to be unravelled. Of course you can 
 identify them ? eh ?" 
 
 ^^ Yes, I can identil}^ them," I replied ; ^* but 
 what good 's that to me, if Fm to be hanged?" 
 
 ^' True ! true ! I forgot," replied the la\\yer ; 
 " not much, certainly, if, as you say, you're to 
 be hanged — but it isn't so clear to me yet that 
 such will he your termination." 
 
 -"I sincerely trust not," I rejoined, without 
 the slightest appearance of deception ; " but if I 
 am hanged, Mr. Jephson, what then ?" 
 
 ^^ True ! true ! my young friend ! If you are 
 hanged, as you say, what then ? Why, this 
 much; I'll never rest till the whole gang ])e
 
 300 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 destroyed, root, branch, and all. Why, wsir, 
 your condemnation on false statements made on 
 oath, which doubtless they will have recourse 
 to — will be the finest thing possible in our 
 hands. We^ll get a verdict, Mr. Austin, as sure 
 as the assizes — " 
 
 " I dare say aU you allege, Mr. Jephson, is 
 perfectly correct ; but what's the good of your 
 verdict to me, if it can only be obtained hy my 
 being hanged previously V^ 
 
 " True ! true !" was the answer ; " I had 
 forgotten — you're not used to these things, 
 Mr. Austin — your situation must be a novelty. 
 Calm yourself, my dear sir — calm yourself — for 
 really you are much agitated." 
 
 " Agitated !" I exclaimed, " and so would you 
 be, if you expected to be hanged within the 
 week. For Heaven's sake, Mr. Jephson, tell 
 me what to do, or I shall go distracted." And 
 true enough, I did feel somewhat like it, as a
 
 HARR-Y AUSTIN. 301 
 
 sort of panoramic ^-ie^v of the Press-room, 
 Sheriffs, Doctor Cotton, the glass of wine, and 
 the Hangman, all appeared before me. 
 
 " Do not needlessly alarm yourself, my dear 
 sir ; I trust we will get over this little affair 
 safely; now listen. For a long time I have 
 been aware of the description of society Sir 
 Frederick Distowe has called around him ; and, 
 from all I have heard, I doubted not in the 
 least their capability of committing any crime 
 short of murder ; but that their e\'il passions 
 should have borne them on to that extreme of 
 guilt was far beyond my conjectures. But I 
 should be glad if you would describe the parties 
 to me once more.'^ 
 
 Accordingly, I did as requested — and, having 
 concluded, the lawyer found himself completely 
 at fault with respect to Humphreys, whom I 
 had shot ; but Jackson, he informed me. was 
 a person whose character was well known ; and, 
 
 VOL. I. P
 
 302 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 in his more prosperous days, an intimacy had 
 subsisted between him and my step-father, 
 which, it appears, was still carried on. In 
 turns he had been black-leg, sharper, pugiHst, 
 marker at a billiard-table, and croupier at a 
 hell; till, at length, turned loose upon the 
 world, without a shilling in his pocket, or a 
 single redeeming quahty in his character, he 
 became a disappointed and atrocious villain, — 
 ready, at the beck of any one, to execute what- 
 ever iniquitous project might be suggested. 
 He had already been concerned in divers cases 
 of mistaking other persons' property for his 
 own, but which he readily accounted for, by 
 pleading guilty to a short memory and very 
 near sight, which was quite sufficient to have 
 quieted any one less scrupulous than the Bow- 
 street officers ; but they, with an obstinacy for 
 which they have occasionally been noted, would 
 not feel at all satisfied or convinced on the
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 30.5 
 
 subject, and they were, at that time, anxious for 
 a personal interview, in order that he might 
 have an opportunity of making them converts 
 to his reasoning. 
 
 " But,^^ continued Mr. Jephson, " as it is not 
 possible that man could have had any personal 
 disUke to yourself, I feel confident that he has 
 acted at the instigation and by the direction of 
 others, for pecuniary, or equally substantial, 
 advantage to himself. The other two persons 
 whom you have described I know well, since, 
 much to their annoyance, I some time back 
 encountered them face to face at Selby, where 
 I had been on business with Lady Distowe ; 
 and I much regret acknowledging that one w, 
 and both icere^ members of that branch of the 
 profession to which I belong — and,'' he con- 
 tinued, raising his gi'eat voice and little ai-m at 
 the same time — " it is by the machinations of 
 such unprincipled ruffians as these that so much 
 
 p 2
 
 304 ADVENTURES OF 
 
 obloquy is cast on a class of men among whom 
 may be numbered many and many, perhaps, 
 tar more conscientious and honourable than a 
 moiety of those who so loudly vituperate against 
 the whole fraternity/^ 
 
 AVhether my host included himself in the 
 number who were so calumniated, he did 
 not inform me ; but, resuming his discourse, 
 continued — 
 
 " From what you have just stated, and from 
 all I can infer from my own observation, I have 
 no hesitation in saying that a plot, as murderous 
 and as cold-blooded as ever entered into the 
 imagination of man, has been put in practice 
 against you ; and, should my suspicions be cor- 
 rect as to the author, it will make the case so 
 honible and unnatural that I dare not give 
 utterance to my surmises, without further and 
 much stronger proof." 
 
 " But, my dear sir," I exclaimed, " whaf s
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 305 
 
 to be done about Humphreys ? Surely they^ll 
 give instant information — I shall be in the Hue 
 and Cry, tried, and hung, before my innocence 
 can be estabUshed ; for what will my voice avail 
 against the testimony of the whole part)', who 
 will, of course, frame their statement httle to 
 my advantage ?'^ 
 
 " I don^t think you have much to fear on 
 that head," was the reply. "In the first place, 
 your step-father w^ould be very un\N"illing that 
 the scene of such an exploit having occiured at 
 his house should be made pubHc, and as for 
 his guests — I doubt if any one of those 
 worthies ^^'ill show his face in a court of justice. 
 except from the dock. No ! no ! I am con- 
 fident nothing will emanate from them ; and, 
 in the present stage of the business, I should 
 advise silence on your part. I Mill ascertain 
 from your banker whether your two drafts have 
 been presented ; and, if so, whether the persons
 
 30r> ADVENTURES OF 
 
 handing them for payment instituted any 
 inquiry regarding yourself. If not^ be satisfied 
 no inquiry will be made ; but, to make all 
 certain, I would recommend your leaving this 
 place as speedily as possible — and, for the 
 sake of your family, as well as for yourself, 
 trust to my exertions in your behalf. Should 
 anything transpire, I will instantly acquaint 
 you ; but do not take any rash steps without 
 consulting me." 
 
 I remained with my kind old friend the 
 remainder of that day; and, though he went 
 forth several times, and even ventured to 
 drive past the gates of Selby, not a word farther 
 did he hear of the previous night^s adventure ; 
 which, while it confirmed him in his formerly 
 expressed opinion, tended, in no slight degree, 
 to remove a very disagreeable load from my 
 mind, and the chance of an equally annoying 
 pressure on my — throat.
 
 HARRY AUSTIN. 307 
 
 When it became quite dark, I entered the 
 carriage prepared for me, and, bidding Mr. 
 Jephson farewell, with many expressions of 
 thanks, and entreaties that I might soon hear 
 from him, I once more started for London, 
 whence I intended instantly to repair to my 
 regiment. 
 
 END OF VOL. 
 
 rRINTKD HV r. BHNSLEY. 
 
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