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a I B R.ARY 
 
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 Of ILLINOIS 
 
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Digitized by the Internet Archive 
 
 in 2010 with funding from 
 
 University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign 
 
 http://www.archive.org/details/shakspearehisfri01will 
 
SHAKSPEARE 
 
 AND 
 
 HIS FRIENDS; 
 
 OR, "THE GOLDEN AGE" OF MERRY ENGLAND. 
 
 His life was gentle, and the elements 
 
 So mixed in him, that Nature might stand up, 
 
 And say to all the world — This was a man! 
 
 Julius CiESAK. 
 
 He was not of an age, but for all time. 
 
 Ben Jonson. 
 
 IN THREE VOLUMES. 
 VOL. I. 
 
 PHILADELPHIA: 
 LEA AND BLANCHARD, 
 
 SUCCESSORS TO CAREY AND CO. 
 
 1839. 
 
?.-' 
 
 1 
 
 ^ 
 
 11/ L7^^ 
 
 TO 
 
 THE ADMIRERS 
 OF 
 
 «' j^lonfe^Cong'ti Sfjaitspearc," 
 
 AND OF THE OTHER ILLUSTRIOUS SPIRITS OF 
 
 THE GOLDEN AGE OF ENGLAND, 
 
 /I THESE VOLUMES, 
 
 ^ WITH TRUE HUMBLENESS, 
 
 ,ji AND ENTIRE DKVOTEDNESS TO THE SUBJECT, 
 
 Q1 ARE RESPECTFULLY INSCRIBED, 
 
 BY 
 -' THEIR FELLOW- WORSHIPPER, 
 
 AND VERY OBEDIENT SERVANT, 
 
 v. THE AUTHOR. 
 
 
 I I 14246 
 
J^erc kflfnnetf) t~\)t Sfovu of 
 
 SHAKSPEARE AND HIS FRIENDS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come, 
 And let my liver rather heat with wine ^ 
 
 Than my heart cool with mortifying groans. 
 "Why should a man whose blood is warm within 
 Sit like liis grandsire cut in alabaster? 
 Sleep when he wakes? — and creep into the jaundice 
 By being peevish? 
 
 Shakspeake. 
 
 Soul of the age! 
 
 Til' applause, dehght, — the wonder of our stage! 
 My Shakspeare, rise! 
 
 Bei? Joxso?r. 
 
 I PRYTHEE have patience, courteous reader ! the whilst I 
 describe a certain chamber well worthy of most minute 
 delineation — as thou wilt see anon — from its having been 
 the retreat, or closet, or place retired from the public eye, in 
 which t!ie master spirit of his age, and the glory of all times 
 to come, did first develope those right famous qualities from 
 which the world hath received such infinite profit and de- 
 light. I will not trouble thee with a vain show of phrases 
 architectural, which crabbed antiquarians do much affect ; 
 for I am not learned in the mystery of stone and timber ; 
 but what true heart and simple skill can do with language, 
 will I essay, to give thee an accurate conception of a place 
 that hath so many admirable recommendations to thy atten- 
 tion. 
 
 It was a room of no extraordinary dimensions, yet was it 
 not stinted to space. The ceiling was of a moderate height, 
 and the sides of the chamber were of oak, the panels of 
 
 1> 
 
STIAKSPEARK 
 
 which were adorned with a goodly show of delicate tracery, 
 like unto the folds of linen ; and round the chimney-piece 
 was a most liberal display of carvingr, in fruits and foliage. 
 A large vase of living flowers, that filled the chamber with 
 a ravishing sweetness, stood beside the fire-dogs. One 
 broad casement, composed of many little panes let into pieces 
 of lead, looked out upon the river, and the centre part of it 
 being open like a door, at divers times might be heard the 
 mellow " ye, ho !" of the bargeman working his oar, as he 
 piloted his heavy craft towards the city wharfs; or, mayhap, 
 softened in the distance, the burthen of a popular ballad, sung 
 by a party of merry apprentices going a pleasuring on the 
 water. At one end of the room there rested on the oak 
 floor, a large heavy press of dark walnut-tree wood, orna- 
 mented with rude carvings of Adam and Eve, and the tree 
 of knowlec^e; and opposite stood an ancient bookcase, the 
 shelves of which supported a number of famous black letter 
 volumes, folios and others, cased in parchment or roan bind- 
 ings. On several narrow high-backed chairs, of carved oak, 
 might be seen different articles of apparel — a hat on one, a 
 cloak on another, and, mayhap, a rapier resting against a 
 third. In one corner were sundry swords and a matchlock, 
 in another, divers pieces of old armour. An empty tankard, 
 and the remains of the morning repast, stood upon a large 
 table in the centre of the chamber ; and near the window, 
 before a smaller table covered with papers, and in an antique 
 arm-chair, sat its illustrious occupant. 
 
 Although his hose were ungartered, and his doublet had 
 been left unbraced, his right noble countenance and vi^orship- 
 ful bearing left not the spectator opportunity to notice the 
 negligence of his attire. His face, which was of a manly 
 age — two years short of thirty — had been most providen- 
 tially fashioned, — with a forehead of marvellous capacity — 
 eyes mild, yet lively withal — a mouth impressed with a very 
 amatory eloquence — and a beard of a perfect gravity. Nor 
 were his limbs of a less favourable mould. In fact, he was 
 a man of multitudinous good graces. I would there were 
 more such. Many such there can never be, for admirable as 
 he was in person, he was still more estimable in mind ; and 
 the union of these excellencies in a like liberal proportion is 
 of such rarity, that peradventure the example will last out 
 the world. 
 
 I am but a sorry limner ; but had I the art of Master Hoi- 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 7 
 
 bein, of famous memory, I could not hope, in a portrait, to do 
 liim justice ; nevertheless, as what the original hath done hath 
 been so singularly well liked, I despair not that posterity will 
 give him proper countenance. However, suffice it to say, 
 he sat writing with a creditable diligence ; ever and anon 
 leaning against his seat, abstractedly as it were ; and when 
 he had sufficiently pondered on the matter with which he 
 was in progress, his pen resumed its path along the paper 
 with additional speed. Sometimes he would smile as he 
 wrote, as if tickled with the creations of his own fancy ; 
 and once his humour seemed so touched with some palpable 
 conceit, that he cast down the pen, and throwing himself 
 back in his chair, did laugh right heartily. At other times, 
 when he appeared to have written passages of a graver pur- 
 port, which gave him more than passable satisfaction, he 
 took the paper in his hand, and did read aloud, with a 
 rich voice and a most felicitous expression ; and of a verity, 
 never was the air so filled with delectable thoughts. At this 
 time there was heard a knocking at the door. " Come in !" 
 exclaimed he ; and thereupon entered one apparelled like a 
 young gallant, with hat and feather of a goodly fashion, a 
 delicate satin doublet, an excellent fine ruff, a cloak worn 
 daintily on the shoulder, and a long rapier fastened to his 
 side : trunks prettily cut and embroidered, with silk hose 
 and ruffled boots. 
 
 " Ah, Dick !" said he in the chair laughingly, as he recog- 
 nised the good-humoured features of his visiter, and scru- 
 tinising his attire as he closed the door and was advancing 
 into the room, " I'faith thou lookest as fine as a snake that 
 hath just cast its skin ; and," added he with more emphasis, 
 "art as useful to any good purpose, I'll be bound." 
 
 " Will ! Will ! thou hast a most malignant wit !" cried the 
 other, as he approached his friend with mock gravity, and 
 shook him earnestly by the hand. " But what thinkest thou 
 of these braveries ?" said he, standing as upright as he 
 might, spreading out his cloak, and readjusting his hat. " I 
 fancied that we, the queen's majesty's poor players, ought 
 to dress as becomes the queen's majesty, and therefore have 
 I robed myself anew. What thinkest thou of the cock of 
 this hat] 'Tis in admirable conceit, is it not? — and the 
 feather — doth it not hang marvellously well 1 Doth not this 
 cloak become me infinitely 1 and the slashing of this doublet, 
 is it not of the most superlative fashion ?" 
 
8 SHAKSPEARfi 
 
 " In truth, Dick," remarked his companion, drily, as he 
 pushed back his cliair to take a better view of his visiter, 
 " I've seen many a jackdaw cut a finer figure." 
 
 " A plague on thy pestilent jests !" exclaimed the other, 
 with assumed indicrnation. 
 
 " But as thou askest for my opinion," he resumed, " I will 
 tell thee. Didst thou wish to attire thyself as becometh the 
 queen's majesty, thou shouldst have had recourse to the 
 queen's majesty's wardrobe : for in honest truth, Dick, I 
 do not think thy present dress would become that illustrious 
 princess in the smallest degree" — 
 
 " Oh thou pernicious varlet !" 
 
 " As for the cock of thy hat, 'tis certainly in admirable 
 conceit, or rather, the conceit is in it, for thy head is in it ; 
 and I do not flatter thee when I say there is no lack of con- 
 ceit there." 
 
 " Perdition seize thy wit !" 
 
 " Thy feather doth hang marvellously well — i'faith I doubt 
 much if thou wouldst hang better thyself." 
 
 " Enough, enough. Will," eagerly exclaimed his associate, 
 putting his hands together, as if begging for mercy, " if thou 
 hast any bowels of compassion, spare me." 
 
 " And if thou wert half as well slashed as thy doublet," 
 continued his friend, inattentive to his remonstrance, " I 
 think thou wouldst be in a much more superlative fashion 
 than thou art now." 
 
 " O' my word. Will," said the other, laughing, as he took 
 off his hat and flung himself into a chair, " thou art all 
 points, li'ke a hedge-hog, or like the naughty girl in the 
 story-book, out of thy mouth there cometh nothing but venom- 
 ous things." 
 
 " But what mercer art thou attempting to ruini" inquired 
 his companion. 
 
 " A fig for the mercer — 'tis the mercer's daughter I seek !'* 
 replied his guest. 
 
 *' Attempt to ruin a mercer's daughter !" exclaimed the 
 other, half^ starting from his chair with aflfected surprise. 
 " Fie on thee, for a reprobate ! thou art enough to corrupt 
 us all ; thou wilt have the whole city up in arms against us, 
 and we shall be obliged to fly from the Bankside to escape 
 the stocks." 
 
 ♦' I meant not that. Will — I am a heathen if I meant that; 
 but thou knowest my failing — I am always after the women. 
 Oh, those exquisite sweet creatures !" 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 9 
 
 " Thou shouldst have more ambition, Dick ; precedency 
 is man's natural right in such instances, but if thou art 
 always after the women, thou canst never hope to get before 
 them." 
 
 " Thou hast me again," cried his companion, as he threw 
 himself back in his seat to give vent to his laughter ; " I 
 would as soon attempt to parry jests with thee as to eat 
 thistles with a jackass; so take thy fill, and be hanged to 
 thee. But I tell thee how it is, Will. This mercer's daugh- 
 ter is said to be the richest heiress in the city. I saw her 
 at the Bear Garden with the old hunks her father, whom she 
 ruleth most filially ; and observing that she had an eye like 
 Venus"— 
 
 " Only one, Dickl" inquired his companion, innocently. 
 
 " Two, or I'm a sinner," replied he, ♦' and a bust like Juno ; 
 ay, and every grace that all Olympus possessed. In brief, 
 a beauty of such ravishing perfections, that immediately i 
 found her gaze upon me, I felt as many of Cupid's arrows 
 in my heart as there are pins in her huswife, and thereupon 
 fell most continently in love." 
 
 " With her father's strong box, Dick V asked the other. 
 
 " With her own sweet self, thou aggravating varlet. I 
 presently made up to the father, and did enter into very 
 sober discourse, till I found I had got hold of the daughter's 
 ear, and then I pointed out the persons of distinction in the 
 company, and seasoned my conversation with some delicate 
 compliments, all which she did receive in very good fashion, 
 rewarding me with such looks from her soft hazel eyes as 
 warmed my veins like a stoup of canary. The old fellow 
 courteously invited me to his house, and the dear wench did 
 repeat some most enticing words, which sent me to the 
 mercer's in a presently. To please him, I ordered these fal- 
 lals, and to please her, I wear them. I met her by appoint- 
 ment since then in Paul's Walk, and after that she gave me 
 some delicious interviews alone in her father's dwelling, of 
 which I made right profitable use. I tell thee, she is ready 
 to melt in my arms." 
 
 " A wax doll would do the same, Dick," drily remarked 
 the other, "if thou wert warm enough." 
 
 " Away with thy pestilent similes !" exclaimed his guest, 
 starting up from his seat, as if in anger; then, resuming his 
 place, continued : — " She showed me yesterday a sonnet, or 
 some other pernicious mischief of the kind, which had been 
 
10 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 written in commendation of her beauty — perhaps by some 
 crazy eng-rosser of parchments. The plague of bad clients 
 be upon him ! — and asked me to try what I could do in that 
 way. Now, unless I can produce some such verses — my 
 malediction rest upon Apollo and all his generation ! — I feel 
 assured I may spare myself the trouble of venturing within 
 the precincts of her tenement. Thou knovvest I could as 
 soon fly as rhyme. I have scratched my head till it ached, 
 and looked up to the ceiling till my neck was as stiff as my 
 ruff; but if ever I succeeded in making reason of my rhyme, 
 or rhyme of my reason, I'm worse than a Jew. So I tell 
 thee what, sweet Will, thou shait help me in this strait with 
 thine own unparalleled talents, and if I be not grateful, call 
 me a dog." 
 
 " Dog, quotha !" cried his guest, in seeming amazement, 
 " art thou not tire veriest dog that howls o' nights ? What 
 a face hast thou, thou impudent varlet, after having, with thy 
 miserable breath, cursed Apollo and all his generation, to 
 come, cap in hand, to one of the humblest of his followers ! 
 Go to, I'll ha' none o' thee ! I abandon thee to the fury of 
 the immortal gods." 
 
 " Nay, but, sweet Will." 
 
 " Ay, ' sweet Will' thou callest me now ; yet a moment 
 since I was likened to a jackass eating thistles. Hast thou 
 no shame 1 Dost think, because thine own wretched hack 
 will not stir a foot, that thou shalt ride on my Pegasus'? I'm 
 an oyster if I let thee." 
 
 " What ! not assist thy old friend and comrade 1" asked 
 the other, in the same bantering tone he had used from the 
 first; " how often have I done thee a good turn that way? 
 Dost remember, in merry Stratford, when we were both 
 boys, yet with an intolerant inclination for the honours of 
 m.anhood, how often I did lead Sir Thomas Lucy's game- 
 keeper in search of imaginary deer-stealers, whilst thou wert 
 courting his niece in the shrubbery 1" 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! ha ! thou hast me there, Dick," replied his 
 friend, unable to refrain from laughing at the odd associa- 
 tions which came crowding to his memory, " thou hast me 
 there of a surety. Ah, Kate ! she was a delectable little 
 gipsy, with a most enticing ankle, and a smile that would 
 thaw a six weeks' frost. But dost forget thine own tricks, 
 old memorandum ? Hast forgot when thou w^ert laying 
 siege to Barbara, the sexton's pretty daughter, behind the 
 
AND ins FRIENDS. 11 
 
 church, how I, with a sheet I had stolen for the nonce, and 
 a turnip-lantern and candle, did stalk through the church- 
 yard, to keep the folks from disturbing thee — to the horror 
 of the whole neighbourhood, and the near frightening to 
 death of three ancient spinsters, two drunken ploughboys, 
 and the parish constable 1" 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! ha !" shouted the other, with an obstreperous 
 fit of mirth, " 'tis as true as life ; I'm nothing better than a 
 Turk, if every word isn't gospel. But," added he gravely, 
 *' who could imagine Master William Shakspeare playing 
 the ghost in a country church-yard ]" 
 
 " Or Master Richard Burbage playing the lover to a sex- 
 ton's daughter V 
 
 And thereupon the two worthies did laugh till the tears 
 ran down their cheeks, and for some time every word they 
 added seemed to act as a provocative to their mirth. 
 
 " I'faith, after all's said and done," observed Master Shak- 
 speare, when he had recovered his gravity, " 'twas most ex- 
 quisite fooling." 
 
 " I'faith it was," said Master Burbage. " But thou wilt 
 let me have the verses ?" he added, as he sauntered up to 
 the table. 
 
 "Ay, marry will I, for old acquaintance sake," replied his 
 friend, and immediately did search among his papers, from 
 which he presently selected one. Scrutinising it earnestly, 
 he continued, " Ha ! here is a string of idle rhymes that 
 mayhap may suit thy purpose, and thy mercer's daughter 
 also. I think of it indifferently; nay, I will acknowledge I 
 fancy 'tis rather discreditable to me ; but each has his own 
 taste, and therefore it may stand a chance of pleasing thy 
 inamorata. Listen, and I will read it to thee." 
 
 Master Burbage did lean his elbow on the table, having 
 his body bent forward, and supporting his head with his 
 hand ; and kept a profound attention whilst Master Shak- 
 speare read the following lines. 
 
 •* The Time hath passed for g'oJIike forms 
 To leave awhile their starry homes, 
 And throw, 'mid human clouds and storms, 
 
 Elysian joy on mortal domes. 
 The time hath passed when Phcebus flung 
 
 His golden spells on laughing earth ; 
 And every field and forest rung 
 
 WiUi hymns of bliss, and shouts of mirth. 
 
12 SHAKSrEARE 
 
 Chaste Dian's silv'ry voice is mute, 
 
 The Sea Nymplis dance not on the shore ; 
 Silent is now tlie Dryad's flute, 
 
 And Pan's sweet reed is heard no more. 
 E'en Love hath folded up his wings, 
 
 And from his hand his bow hath cast ; 
 Apollo's lyre hath lost its strings, 
 
 Its tune hath fled — Tue Time uath passed. 
 
 **Gonc are the glorious visitants 
 
 Who gave this world so bright a grace, 
 And Grief and Care — a thousand wants, 
 
 And endless crimes, are in their place ; 
 Unhonoured is the poet's lay 
 
 That once made all Olympus glad; 
 And Worth is left to beg its way, 
 
 Or perish with the mean and bad. 
 And I, who strove with heart and mind. 
 
 That famished souls might break their fast, 
 Discover now that Heaven is blind. 
 
 The world is dead — The Time uath passed ! 
 
 "Ob, no, the Time's restored again, 
 
 And with it all its gladdening shapes. 
 The whilst, from off the breast and brain, 
 
 The cloud in which they lay, escapes. 
 Phcebus in thy bright shape returns. 
 
 Thy words chaste Dian's voice enslave. 
 For thee the Sea Nymphs' crystal urns. 
 
 When in the bath thy limbs must lave. 
 Love in thine eyes hath ta'en new ground. 
 
 And keeps his sharp artillery there ; 
 The breeze Apollo's strings hath found. 
 
 And stirs them in thy golden hair? 
 And as for Pan's Arcadian reed. 
 
 Tuned with the Dryads, measured trips, 
 AVhat blissful melodies exceed 
 
 The music breathing from thy lips ? 
 Well cared for is the green earth still. 
 
 When round thee all Olympus glows ; 
 Well honoured is the poet's skill. 
 
 When worth hke thine its praise bestows. 
 Then blessings be upon thy path, 
 
 And joy that no ill breath can blast 
 Be with thee — now the world's poor wrath 
 
 Can harm me not — The Time hath passed !'* 
 
 " Excellent good, i'faith !" exclaimed Master Burbage, de- 
 lightedly. " Excellent good ! If she be not satisfied with 
 it, nothing less than another Iliad will gratify her cormorant 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 13 
 
 fancy. Give me the paper, sweet Will ! Dan Homer was 
 a blind ballad-monger to thee, thou prince of rhymers." 
 
 " Avaunt, thou horrid flatterer I" cried Master Shakspeare, 
 as he allowed his companion to conceal the verses in his 
 purse. " But 'tis poor fishing with other folks' tackle, Dick," 
 he added, in his own facetious way. 
 
 " Faith, I care not an' 1 have good sport : and I'll pay thee 
 for thy tackle with a loose fish or two," replied the other, 
 with a chuckle of inward satisfaction. 
 
 •' I'll ha' none o' thy gudgeons," said his friend, with mock 
 disdain. " When I fish I catch whales." 
 
 " Then hast thou a very blubberly taste," rejoined Mas- 
 ter Burbage, " and when I want salve for a wound I'll 
 come to thee ; for thou must have a most infinite stock of 
 spermaceti." 
 
 Thus they proceeded, bantering and laughing at one an- 
 other, and indulging their humours with perfect satisfaction 
 themselves, when a knock was heard at the door, and ad- 
 mittance being granted, there entered a man of a pleasant 
 aspect, and of spare figure, not so gaily garmented as Mas- 
 ter Burbage, yet having much of the outward appearance of 
 respectability. 
 
 " Welcome, good Lazarus Fletcher. Welcome !" cried 
 Master Shakspeare. 
 
 " Hail to thee, Lazarus I" added Master Burbage, in his 
 usual jocose manner. " Hast thou come to the rich man's 
 table, Lazarus ] Look for the crumbs, man ! Look for the 
 crumbs ! and thou art not like to get any thing else ; for 
 the table hath nothing better than a bare trencher, and an 
 empty tankard. Catch the crumbs that have fallen then, 
 for, in truth, thou lookest wofully like a right hungry La- 
 zarus." 
 
 " If I look as hungry as Lazarus, thou lookest as fine as 
 Dives," retorted Master Fletcher. 
 
 " What, be there no dogs to lick this Lazarus, that he 
 seemeth so woundily sore?" said the other. " But I tell thee 
 what, Lazarus, an' thou ever liest in Abraham's bosom, thou 
 hadst best tuck up thine ankles, for thou must needs find 
 there a plentiful lack of bed-room." 
 
 " Mind not the reprobate, worthy Fletcher," observed Mas- 
 ter Shakspeare, yet unable to refrain from laughing. 
 
 " Marry, why should I mind him," replied the other, " he 
 
 VOL. I. 2 
 
14 
 
 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 onlyshoweth that he hath a spice of the ability of Sampson : 
 for he maketh a goodly use of the jawbone of an ass." 
 
 " Ha ! ha 1" shouted Master Shakspeare, chafing his hands 
 in the intensity of his delight. " Spare him not, good Laza- 
 rus ; an' thou Jovest me, spare him not." Then looking to- 
 wards his friend, he added, " I'faith, Dick, thou hast found 
 thy match." 
 
 " Match !" exclaimed Master Burbage, turning sharp round 
 from the casement out of which he had that moment been 
 leaning, " ay, marry ! and like other matches — all the good 
 lieth in the brimstone. But tell us thy news, Master Fletcher; 
 for that there is something in the book is evident in the 
 index — thou lookest as important as a tailor's wife threading 
 her husband's needle." 
 
 " O' my troth, I have something worth the telling," replied 
 he. 
 
 " Disburthen thyself then, and quickly, good Lazarus," ob- 
 served Master Shakspeare. 
 
 "There hath a message come from the Master of the 
 Revels, worthy Master Edmond Tilney," said Master 
 Fletcher, «' to the intent that it be the design of the queen's 
 majesty, with divers of her honourable court, to honour her 
 poor players with a visit ; and leaving Hemings and Con- 
 dell and the rest to prepare for her reception, I posted off 
 here, as Master Burbage had left word that he would be found 
 at Master Shakspeare's lodgings." 
 
 " Hurrah !" shouted Master Burbage, snatching up his hat 
 and waving it over his head, " we'll have a right worshipful 
 audience. Heaven preserve her majesty, and enrich her 
 servants, say L Come along, good Lazarus !" he added, as 
 he caught his brother actor by the arm, "we must to the 
 playhouse." 
 
 " I will be with thee anon, Dick," said Master Shakspeare, 
 as his visiters were proceeding to the door. " But I have a 
 letter to write to my Lord Southampton, to thank him for 
 yonder exquisite present of flowers he hath sent me from 
 his own garden, and to acquaint him with our proceedings 
 with the court of aldermen, touching our threatened liberties, 
 at the Blackfriars." 
 
 " Success attend thee. Will, in all thy doings," exclaimed 
 his friend, and putting on his hat he led his companion out 
 of the chamber. 
 
 Master Shakspeare being lefl alone, did presently draw 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 15 
 
 up his chair closer to the table on which he had been writ- 
 ing, and did recommence his labours with an admirable dili- 
 gence. Ma3'iiap he was engaged in the inditing of one of 
 those right tlimous plays which did bring so much honour to 
 his name ; but know 1 not this for a surety ; and as a trusty 
 chronicler, I will only subscribe to that of which I have per- 
 fect knowledge. However, it be certain that he had not 
 been long so engaged, when a third knock was heard at the 
 door, so gentle it was scarcely audible ; and although he 
 seemed at first somewhat impatient of interruption (for no 
 man liketh to be much disturbed in his privacy), when, upon 
 his giving permission to the person to enter, he observed his 
 visiter, he gave him most courteous welcome. He was a 
 youth, aged seventeen, or thereabouts, tall, slim, and elegant, 
 and though clad in homely russet, there was that in his 
 graceful carriage, and in his mild yet thoughtful countenance, 
 that did signify something of a far higher quality than such 
 poor apparel did denote. But most remarkable was the ex- 
 ceeding modesty of his deportment. He opened and closed 
 the door almost tremblingly, and respectfully taking off his 
 hat, advanced into the room with downcast eyes, to the 
 great marvel of our illustrious poet. 
 
 "I took the boldness, Master Shakspeare," said the youth 
 falteringly, as he kept smoothing his hat with his hand where 
 he stood in the middle of the chamber — " I took the boldness 
 some short time since to send you a tragedy of my poor 
 contrivance; hoping, from wiiat I had heard of your worthy 
 disposition, that you w^ould honour that humble attempt to 
 such an extent as to give it your perusal ; and peradventure 
 if such an obscure individual be not thought altogether un- 
 worthy of attention from one so excellently gifted as your- 
 self, you will favour me so far as to grant me your opinion 
 of its matter and management." 
 
 " That will I, worthy sir, without fail," replied Master 
 Shakspeare, regarding his young visiter with a more than 
 ordinary interest. " But you must first acquaint me with 
 your name, and the title of the play you entrusted to my 
 custody ; for my reputation, however little deserved it may 
 be, and my influence at the playhouse, which is thought to 
 be greater than it is, are the causes of my being continually 
 applied to for a similar purpose." 
 
 " The tragedy was called ' Hero and Leander,' and I 
 ijgncd my name ' Francis,' " murmured the youth. 
 
16 
 
 SIIAKSPEARE 
 
 "Let me beg of you to be seated, worthy Master Fran- 
 cis," exclaimed the other, as he hastily handed him a chair. 
 "I remember it well," he added, as he searched among his 
 papers on the table, " by the token that it did contain many 
 passages that exhibited no mean ability." 
 
 The melancholy aspect of the young stranger did brighten 
 up marvellously at the hearing of this commendation, and 
 his eyes looked abundance of thanks. He argued the most 
 favourable conclusion from so promising a commencement, 
 for it is the nature of youth to be sanguine upon very little 
 occasion. 
 
 " I have it," said Master Shakspeare, as he laid hold of 
 the manuscript ; and, opening it, sat himself down in the 
 chair, as if to give it a careful examination : then added, 
 " but in all honesty, I must acknowledge that it hath a total 
 unfitness for representation." At this the youth's counte- 
 nance became blanched with a sudden paleness. " It hath 
 a lack of every thing which is most necessary for a drama 
 to have : to wit, action — interest — and character ; — the 
 which if it have not, were it written by King Solomon him- 
 self, or the seven wise masters in conjunction, it would have 
 no chance with our modern audiences. The time of mys- 
 teries and moralities hath gone by. People now will not 
 listen to dialogues without an object, and plays without a 
 plot. David hath ceased to abuse Goliath in a set speech an 
 hour long, and Joseph lingereth no longer to preach a thrice 
 tedious sermon to Potiphar's wife. If a play have not action 
 it must needs have but little interest ; for although some- 
 thing may occasionally be done in a narrative form, if the 
 ball be not kept up — that is to say, if the dramatis personae 
 be doing of nothing — even if the sentences be proverbs of 
 wisdom, then shall the play be a bad play. Again, if the 
 characters who form the plot have no individuality or dis- 
 tinct features, in accordance with nature or probability, 
 though they look like Alexanders and argue like Aristotles, 
 shall the play be a bad play. Your tragedy, Master Fran- 
 cis, hath these particular defects, and I should be hugely de- 
 ficient in candour, and in no way deserving the confidence 
 you have been pleased to place in me, were I to refrain from 
 telling you that it cannot be acted with any profit either to 
 yourself or others. There is another objection to it — the 
 subject hath already been done by Kit Marlowe." 
 
 Master Shakspeare observing for the first time that the 
 
AND HIrf FRIENDS. 17 
 
 Hps of his visiter had lost their accustomed ruddiness, and 
 that he did look most despairing and wo-begone, with that 
 sweet sympathy which maketh the generous so fearful of giv- 
 ing pain to another, instantly began to turn over the leaves 
 of Master Francis his play, and resumed his discourse. " But 
 let me not cause you to imagine that I think naught of your 
 tragedy. Master Francis. Far be it from me to say so. I 
 do consider the blank verse very musical and eloquent, and 
 full of right admirable conceits. Here is a passage in which 
 a lover, expostulating with his mistress, who doth affect in- 
 constancy in no small measure, sayeth this much as argu ■ 
 ment to prove the unity of love : — 
 
 ** 'Effect and cause — (the lover and the loved) 
 Are consequence and origin of one 
 Vure, sing-le, and connective property— 
 The proud desire of human happiness; 
 Which leads one spirit to another one. 
 One heart unto its fellow. This is love. 
 Which, with an inclination natural, 
 And fond and sweet, and generous and good, 
 Ever inclineth one sex to the other 
 To realise a mutual bliss. The two, 
 In pairs, from other pairs apart, are joined 
 In bonds of budding hopes and blushing joys ; 
 The whilst the Social Virtues hand in hand, 
 Link'd like the golden rings that form a chain 
 Of precious, priceless worth, circle them round, 
 And keep off from the temple of their bliss. 
 Unholy thoughts, false gods and evil deeds.* 
 
 "And again, in continuation of the same subject: — 
 
 '* 'The forest tops 
 Give voices to the wind, and there the dove 
 Sits with her mate secure — with heart all joy — 
 In inclination uncorrupt — in dreams 
 That are reality: and still her breast 
 With passionate ecstacy heaves tremblingly; 
 There is a stirring gladness in her eyes; 
 There is a thrilling music in her voice ; 
 For she doth own a bless'd tranquillity. 
 No other winged one can seek that nest; 
 They find a perfect pleasure in themselves ; 
 Their lives are for each other; and unknown 
 Beyond the little sanctuary of their loves, 
 Is any rapture which they there enjoy. 
 
 " * If Nature then declare her law to be 
 That one alone should unto one be fixed 
 2* 
 
18 3HAKSFEARK 
 
 In sacred love and pure devotcdncss, 
 Sliall human-kind, of loving* thing's the bcs*. 
 The noblest, wisest, and the most divine. 
 Give that in partnership to more than one 
 Which one alone can know in purity ? 
 Divide this precious influence — 'tis lost. 
 The moment that in other hands 'tis placed 
 Gone is the golden virtue it possessed. 
 The sage's wnsdom is his own — the wand 
 Of the magician doUi forget its charm 
 With one who hath no magic — strike the harp 
 A moment since so eloquent with song 
 Raised by the poet's skill, and nothing speaks 
 But what is dull, and harsh, and dissonant. 
 And why is this? — Because in natural things. 
 There is an ownership ; and Love, of all 
 Our natural gifts most natural, 
 Admits of no division of its worth. 
 We cannot set one gem in many rings.' 
 
 " I do opine, Master Francis," continued our illustrious 
 dramatist, with a look of kindness towards his youns^ com- 
 panion, who had been listening with delighted attention to 
 Master Shakspeare's faultless delivery of his lines, — " I do 
 opine that there is much admirable matter in these words; 
 and the same opinion holds good towards other passages in 
 your play, of similar excellence ; which plainly prove to me 
 that there is no lack of promise in you. But be not too 
 hasty; pluck not the fruit before it be ripe, else they who 
 may chance to taste it will make wry mouths. If you would 
 take the advice of one willing to do you all manner of good 
 offices — " 
 
 " If I do not, I should be the most unworthy varlet that 
 lives," exclaimed Master Francis warmly. 
 
 "You will wait awhile before you. offer any composition 
 to the public eye," said Master Shakspeare, affecting not to 
 notice the interruption he had received, yet being much 
 pleased thereat. " You are young — your knowledge of the 
 world must therefore be scanty ; and although I do perceive 
 in your writings a comprehensive acquaintance with books, 
 he who writeth tragedies should possess an equal knowledge 
 of men ; therefore I do advise you, for some years to come, 
 to study mankind, if you entertain any desire of taking your 
 stand among our English dramatists. Moreover, you have 
 as yet acquired no information as to the business of the 
 stage — a matter of vast moment towards the success of even 
 
AND HI3 FRlENOf. ^ 19 
 
 tlie best piny. This you. can only inform yourself of by 
 noting what others have done. The most effective way for 
 you to do this is to come to us at the play-house, where you 
 shall have free ingress and egress upon every fitting occa- 
 sion : and I will forward your interest in all that my poor 
 skill or influence can effect." 
 
 The tone of kindness with which these last sentences 
 were delivered, seemed to have a most powerful effect upon 
 the listener ; indeed it had gone direct to his heart, and he 
 sat for some seconds perfectly unable to utter a syllable. 
 
 " Is there any thing more I can do for you V inquired 
 Master Shakspeare, regarding the changing colour and mo- 
 dest demeanour of his visiter with increasing interest. 
 " Though I seek not to make a boast of it, I have some 
 powerful friends, to whom, peradventure, my recommenda- 
 tion would do good service, if ventured in behalf of one of 
 your excellent parts and disposition." 
 
 " Oh, Master Shakspeare !" murmured the youth, looking 
 up to him with eyes made humid by his grateful emotions, 
 " I would I had language to thank you ; but ni)' heart is too 
 full." 
 
 " Nay, nay, worthy Master Francis," said the other, en- 
 couragingly. " If you love me you must not think of that. 
 He who looks for thanks deserveth them not. Such a one 
 am not I. I will acknowledge I feel a regard for you, and 
 would wish to be your friend ; and if you will entrust me 
 with your confidence, rest assured it shall not be abused. 
 Tell me, is your way of life agreeable to you ]" 
 
 " Indeed it is not," replied his visiter, with a melancholy 
 expression of countenance that completely attested the truth 
 of the avowal. " But w^hy should I take advantage of the 
 goodness of your disposition ? or why trouble you with my 
 complaints? I have already taken up too much of your 
 valuable time." Then he added, as he rose from his chair 
 to depart, " I thank you very heartily for your kindness, 
 which, in all times to come, shall be the most delightful of 
 my remembrances ; and if it please you to give me my 
 papers, I would gratefully take my leave." 
 
 ♦' We part not thus," said Master Shakspeare, quickly, as 
 he rose from his seat, and taking hold of Master Francis' 
 shoulder, did affectionately push him back into his chair ; 
 then sitting carelessly on the edge of the table adjoining, 
 with ono hand of his visiter kindly pressed in his own, and 
 
20 > yilAKSPEARE 
 
 with a most benevolently smiling countenance he proceeded. 
 '* We part not thus. Sit you down, Master Francis — sit you 
 down : and let not the modesty of your disposition be a 
 stumbling-block to the advancement of your fortunes. The 
 world hath not used you well, or I mistake countenances 
 hugely. Let me try to make amends for the unkindness of 
 others. I have both the inclination and the power to serve ; 
 and it seemeth to me that I should do myself credit by any 
 service I could render. Let me be your friend, Master 
 Francis. I assure you, on the honour of a Christian gentle- 
 man, and a humble follower of the Muses, that you will do 
 me a great wrong, if you allow me not the satisfaction of 
 befriending you." 
 
 " Indeed, Master Shakspeare, you are too good," exclaimed 
 his visiter, warmly returning the pressure of the hand he had 
 received. " I know not what to say — I lack words — I am 
 quite overpowered." 
 
 " What a wittol am I, and one shamefully neglectful of the 
 duties of hospitality !" said Master Shakspeare, suddenly, 
 as he sprung from the table, and, proceeding to a cupboard 
 in a recess of the chamber, did presently return, bringing a 
 flask and tv/o drinking horns. 
 
 " I would you would excuse me, worthy Master Shak- 
 speare," said the youth, modestly, as soon as he observed the 
 movement of his host. 
 
 " Excuse me no excuses," replied the other, with a smile, 
 as he made room on the little table, and poured out the wine 
 into the vessels, . " What ! shall it be said that Will Shak- 
 speare denied a brother poet a draught of the fountain from 
 which he hath so often drawn inspiration ? Tell it not at the 
 Mermaid. A cup of this excellent sherris will warm both 
 our hearts." 
 
 " You have made my heart warm enough as it is," ob- 
 served Master Francis, still hesitating to take the proffered 
 cup. 
 
 " Tush, man !" replied Master Shakspeare, hospitably 
 forcing the cup into his guest's almost reluctant hand, " will 
 you not drink to my health?" 
 
 " Ah, that will I, with all true earnestness," exclaimed the 
 other, as he immediately raised the wine to his lips. " And 
 I most heartily wish, as all England must wish, that your life 
 be long preserved to delight and enrich this island with your 
 right excellent labours." 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 21 
 
 "Thank you, worthy Master Francis, thank you," said his 
 host, shaking his companion cordially by the hand ; " it is 
 gratifying to be praised at all, but to be praised by those 
 who can appreciate, is the most exquisite of flattery. And 
 now let me pledge you to our better acquaintance," added 
 he, as he poured out a brimming cup for himself, "and may 
 success attend you equal to your deserts, — which be of no 
 common order." 
 
 '* You are too liberal in your commendation — indeed you 
 are," observed the youth, as a slight blush appeared upon his 
 countenance. 
 
 " Not a whit, man, not a whit," replied his host, as he 
 finished his draught. " There can be no harm in praising a 
 modest man : for if the desert be not equal to the praise, he 
 will not rest till he make it so. But your cup is empty." 
 
 " Nay, good Master Shakspeare," exclaimed the other, as 
 he noticed his host refilling the cup — " if it please you, no 
 more." 
 
 " But it does not please me, Master Francis," said his com- 
 panion jocosely. 
 
 " I am not used to drinking of wine of a morning, and it 
 may chance get- in my head." 
 
 *' No vessel can be the worse for containing good wine, 
 Master Francis. So you must e'en drink another cup." 
 
 " I thank you, but I would rather not," said Master Francis 
 falteringly, as the vessel was handed him. 
 
 " What, hesitate to drink the queen's health ?" exclaimed 
 Master Shakspeare in seeming astonishment. " Why, how 
 now ? Surely loyalty hath gone out of the land, if the guest 
 of one of her majesty's poor players refuse to join him in 
 drinking the health of Queen Elizabeth." 
 
 " I thought not of that ;" remarked the other quietly taking 
 the wine, " I will join you gladly." Thereupon, with much 
 sincerit}^ of heart, tliese two did drink to the queen's majes- 
 ty. " But I must be going, or my uncle will be angered with 
 me; and he is a man of a most ungracious humour," said 
 Master Francis. 
 
 "A murrain on him !" cried Master Shakspeare. " And, 
 if I may make so free to ask, who is he?" 
 
 " He is Gregory Vellum, the scrivener, of St. Mary Axe," 
 replied the youth ; " and though report says he abounds in 
 riches, one would suppose that he hath not sufficient to fur- 
 nish a beggar's wallet." 
 
22 SHAKSPEARR 
 
 " Have you no father living?" asked liis host. 
 
 " It is uncertain," responded Master Francis more serious- 
 ly. " My mother's was a private marriage with a gentleman 
 much above her in station, and as he said it would injure 
 him in tiie estimation of his family if his union became 
 known, she kept his quality a secret from all who knew 
 her. He went to the wars a short time before she gave 
 birth to me, and has never since been heard of; and my poor 
 mother died in childbed, without leaving any other memorial 
 of her husband than this miniature, which I always carry 
 about with me." 
 
 Master Shakspeare silently examined the trinket, which 
 was in a gold frame, that the youth wore round his neck. 
 On one side was the likeness of a very lovely woman ; the 
 other had contained another miniature, mayhap, of a cavalier ; 
 but it was now empty. 
 
 " The initials E. V., on one side the frame, are for my mo- 
 ther Eleanor Vellum," continued the youth, " and the F. H., 
 on the empty frame, are doubtless the initials of my father ; 
 of which one must be Francis, for so she always called him, 
 as I have heard, and therefore by that name have I been 
 christened ; but what the other standeth for I know not, and 
 perchance may never know till the day of judgment." 
 
 "Be of good heart. Master Francis," said his companion, 
 encouragingly, " peradventure the secret may be discovered 
 sooner than you look for. But what says your uncle? — 
 knoweth he nothing ?" 
 
 " Sometimes I am apt to think that he knows more than 
 he is inclined to tell," replied Master Francis; "for in his 
 unguarded moments, he hath dropped some mysterious 
 hints which savour a little of the purpose. But he is so con- 
 tinually upbraiding me for the troubles and the charges I put 
 him to — he so stints me in all sorts of necessaries, and so 
 begrudges me the little pleasure I enjoy, — that he hath made 
 my life a daily burthen, and I should be right glad to get 
 from under his roof, to labour in any capacity for which I 
 may be properly qualified." 
 
 " That shall not be long first, or my name be not Will 
 Shakspeare," exclaimed his host, as he poured out another 
 cup of wine for his guest. 
 
 " Nay, good Master Shakspeare," cried the youth, rising 
 up and taking his hat, as he noticed the brimming vessel 
 proceeding towards him, " prythee let me go ; I have drunk 
 most bountiful'- ^ thonv ■».,-- " 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 23 
 
 " One more cup, and it shall be the last." 
 
 •' Indeed I would rather not." 
 
 " Now, look at this !" exclaimed Master Shakspeare, in ap- 
 parent wonder. " Here is a youth of some eighteen years 
 or so, who confesses that he hath met with no fair damsel 
 with soul-enkindling eyes and roseate cheeks, whose health 
 he deems worthy of being drunk in a bumper of sherris," 
 
 *' I said not that. Master Shakspeare," replied his young 
 companion, hastily, as the colour mounted to his cheek — 
 " Believe me, I said not that." 
 
 " I believe you most. heartily," said his host with a laugh, 
 as he noticed the youth's increasing confusion. " I see con- 
 viction in your complexion. Her health, Master Francis." 
 
 " Well, I suppose I must," observed his guest, as if anxious 
 to be quickly relieved from his embarrassment. " I thank 
 you kindly. She is a right noble creature, and I should be 
 the basest wretch alive were I to refu.se to drink her healtli 
 
 — considering " Here the young poet stopped suddenly ; 
 
 his complexion acquired a warmer glow; and a shadow of 
 deep melancholy overspread his features. 
 
 " Hath she no name. Master Francis V inquired the other 
 earnestly, and, if the truth must be told, somewhat mis- 
 chievously. 
 
 "Indeed she hath," he replied. "It is a good name — a 
 name of excellent credit — a " 
 
 " I doubt it not," observed Master Shakspeare, with more 
 than his usual gravity; " but to the point, man. Dost hesi- 
 tate to tell it ] Take my word for it, you are paying her no 
 compliment if you do." 
 
 " Her name is Joanna," said the youth in a voice scarcely 
 audible, and trying unsuccessfully to hide his confusion. 
 
 " Then drink I your Joanna's health in a brimming cup, 
 and with a most heartfelt wish that she may be worthy of 
 you, and that you may be happy with her." 
 
 Master Francis said nothing, but hastened to drink the 
 wine that had been placed in his hand. 
 
 " And now, Master Francis, here is your tragedy," said 
 his companion, as he gave him the manuscript, with a bene- 
 volent countenance and a cordial shake of the hand ; " and 
 henceforth consider me your friend, for I wish to prove my- 
 self such. Something shall be done for you, rest assured; 
 and that very shortly. Good day. Master Francis, good 
 day," he continued, as he kindly led his visiter to the door, 
 and opened it for him. 
 
24 8HAKSPEARB 
 
 Master Francis could only look his thanks, and then 
 threading the narrow staircase of the house, made the best 
 of his way to St. Mary Axe. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 My heart allows 
 No gums, nor amber, but pure vows ; 
 There's fire at breathing of your name. 
 
 And do not fear — 
 
 I have a tear 
 Of joy to curb any immodest flame. 
 
 SniRLET. 
 
 Oh, sir, the wonder! 
 
 A beauty ripe as harvest, 
 Whose skin is whiter than a swan all over, 
 Than silver, snow, or lilies! A soft lip 
 Would tempt you to eternity of kissing. 
 And flesh that melteth in the touch to blood ; 
 Bright as your gold, and lovely as your gold. 
 
 Bek Jonsow. 
 
 " Francis ! Francis !" screamed out a little old man, meanly 
 apparelled, as he stumped about with his stick in a gloomy 
 room, that appeared from its deficiency in all furniture, save 
 a desk with a tall stool, and several papers and parchments 
 tied up and placed on shelves about the fire-place, that it was 
 an office. " Francis ! Francis, I say ! A murrain on thee 
 for a lazy varlet ! thou art sure to give me the slip as soon 
 as my back is turned. Francis !" he shouted again, and 
 then muttered to himself, " a wasteful, idle good-for-naught, 
 that be always consuming my substance or misspending my 
 time ; I would I were well rid of him. Francis, I say ! Here 
 have I been bawling about the house for the better part of 
 an hour searching for him — the graceless vagrant. Francis !" 
 Thus he went on, growling and grumbling, and poking into 
 every hole and corner, with a physiognomy most unnaturally 
 crabbed, and a voice feeble and shrewish. At last he sat 
 himself down on the stool, laid aside his stick, and began 
 examining the loose papers on the desk ; first putting on a 
 pair of cracked spectacles, to assist his sight. Besides being 
 short and old — that is, of some sixty years or more — he was 
 of a marvellous spare body ; and his short nose and pointed 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. "45 
 
 chin, siiiall eyes, and saturnine complexion, did not appear 
 to more advantage, surrounded by a scanty beard that had 
 become quite grizzled by age. His attire was of the home- 
 liest — nay, it gave evidence of more than ordinary thrift — 
 for his trunks were patched, and his hose were darned, and 
 his shoes would have looked all the better had they been in- 
 debted to the craft of the cordwainer. As for his doublet, it 
 was of a most ancient fashion, and though the cloth was ori- 
 ginally a Lincoln green, it had become, by long use, and ex- 
 posure to all sorts of weather, more resembling the dingy 
 hue of a smoked rafter. 
 
 As he scrutinised the papers, he broke out into such vehe- 
 ment ejaculations as these. 
 
 " This account not finished ! Here's a villanous neglect 
 of my interests ! Here's a shameful contempt of my au- 
 thority ! Here's flat contradiction and horrible ingratitude ! 
 Oh, the abominable and most pestilent knave ! whilst he eats 
 me out of house and home — costs me a world and all in tai- 
 loring and other charges — he leaveth my business to take 
 care of itself. But what have we here"?" he exclaimed, as he 
 commenced examining a paper that had evidently been con- 
 cealed amongst the others. " Verses, or I'm a heathen !" 
 cried he in a tone of consternation. " Nay, if he takes to 
 such evil courses, it must needs come to hanging." Whilst 
 he was intent upon perusing with angry exclamations the 
 contents of the object that had excited his displeasure, he 
 suddenly felt a hand upon his shoulder, and turning round 
 with no small degree of alarm impressed upon his unamiable 
 features, he observed a young female — by her dress proba- 
 bly of the middle ranks. She wore on the back of her head 
 a small velvet hat, from under which escaped several long 
 dark tresses, that, parted in the front, set off to great advan- 
 tage a right comely face, of a very rich complexion, which 
 was made infinitely more attractive, by a pair of delicate 
 dark hazel eyes, peculiarly seductive in their expression. 
 Her age might be somewhat beyond twenty ; for her form 
 was fully rounded, and moulded into .he most excellent pro- 
 portions, which were admirably apparelled in a neat boddice 
 and a dainty farthingale. In truth, she was a damsel pos- 
 sessed of all the perfections of womanhood. 
 
 " You sweet rogue, how you frightened me !" exclaimed 
 the old man ; the surprise and alarm he had exhibited in his 
 
 VOL. r. 3 
 
26 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 countenance now giving place to pleasure and admiration, 
 as he gazed upon the smiling beauty before him. 
 
 " But what hath so put your temper into vital jeopardy, 
 good Gregory Vellum?" added she coaxingly, as she leaned 
 over his shoulder, seemingly the better to observe the writing 
 he held in his hand. 
 
 " Marry, matter enough, sweetest," replied he ; " that un- 
 dutiful and most hardened reprobate, my nephew — a plague 
 on all parents that cannot provide for their own offspring, 
 say I — unmindful of the great expenses he hath put me to, 
 not only leaves my business unattended, whenever I am not 
 watching his movements, but passeth the times he should 
 employ for my advantages in destroying my paper, pens, 
 and ink, in scribbling a whole host of pernicious verses." 
 
 " Oh, the profligate !" cried the other, as if marvelling 
 greatly ; but still stretching out her pretty neck to see what 
 was written on the paper. 
 
 " I am glad to see that you regard his atrocious wicked- 
 ness with a proper detestation," repeated the other. "But 
 that be not the worst of his villany. Only think of the pes- 
 tilent varlet robbing me of these fine bits of candle, which in 
 my search for him a moment since I found secreted away in 
 his chamber." And thereupon, with a look of terrible in- 
 dignation, he brought out of his vest, carefully wrapt up in 
 an old rag, three candle-ends, each about an inch long. 
 
 " What wonderful iniquity !" exclaimed she, giving a hasty 
 glance at the contents of the rag, and then again quickly 
 fixing her gaze upon the paper. 
 
 •' Ay, that is it with a vengeance," replied the old man. 
 " Now, he stealeth these pieces of candle — a murrain on him 
 for his abominable dishonesty — and burneth them when I, 
 his too indulgent uncle, am fast asleep; and there he sits, 
 wearing out the night in studying a most unprofitable lot of 
 heathenish books. But take this trumpery and read it, 
 Mistress Joanna, for he writes such an unnatural fine hand 
 that my poor eyes ache with looking at it." 
 
 The fair Joanna took the paper somewhat eagerly, and 
 without a second summons or a word of reply, stood before 
 the old man, and, as he wiped his spectacles and put them 
 away, and carefully folded up the candle-ends, she read 
 what follows. 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 27 
 
 A RIGHT EARNEST EXPOSTULATION. 
 
 ADDRESSED TO HER WHO ^VILL BEST V^DERSTAUD IT. 
 
 Having- so oft and fondly sung- thy praise, 
 
 1 find I cannot tliy defects poiirtray ; 
 My pen is ready for most flalt'ring lays, 
 
 Bat censures not : it knoweth not the way. 
 Thou, to my heart, hast g-iven deep offence, 
 Yet see I in thee naught but excellence. 
 
 'Tis passing" strangle — but pity 'tis too true ! 
 
 Thy goodness towards me doth seem to halt ; 
 Thing's manifold thou dost unkindly do 
 
 "^^'hich pain me much — yet know I not Ihy fault ; 
 For ev'ry day thou heapest on me wrongs 
 Find'st ihou a perfect creature in my songs. 
 
 Wherefore is this ^ — 'Tis thus — no long time since 
 Each day, each hour, each moment found me blest ; 
 
 All the fond love thy nature could evince, 
 All the s%veet goodness of thy gentle breast. 
 
 Didst thou in pure devotion render mine, 
 
 To teach me what of earth was most divine. 
 
 As a rude heathen who to stock and stone 
 
 Prostrates his soul in worship — when he knows 
 
 The Truth that reigns almighty and alone. 
 He evermore with the true worship bows; 
 
 My idols I cast down, and knelt and prayed 
 
 Where, I knew veil, my hopes of Heaven were laid. 
 
 Then bountifully were thy blessings showered ; 
 
 And I, the sole receptacle they sought. 
 Have known my grateful spirit overpowered 
 
 'Neath the delighting burdens thou hast brought. 
 Oft didst thou say thou could'st love none but me ; 
 And much I strived to be wortliy thee. 
 
 But now — unhappy chance that brought this turn! 
 
 Thou dost deny me with excuses weak 
 Tlie fondnesses for which my soul doth yearn. 
 
 And dost witliin another's eyeball seek 
 The charm, the spirit, and the joy that shone 
 In my rapt gaze reflected from thine own! 
 
 Nothing ihou doest doth my eyes escape ; 
 
 I know thy purposes — thy thoughts behold : 
 Alas, that they sliould often take a shape 
 
 Which multiplies my cares a thousand fold ! 
 Alas, that thou ait changed! — alas, indeed, 
 A [)lant so fair should bear such worthless seed! 
 
28 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 But these stem words on thee must never fall ; 
 
 'Tis my uiikicky fortune that's to blame, 
 In my own hiart I censure not at all ; 
 
 For all thy goodnesses such footing" claim, 
 That thy unkindnesses there find no place — 
 There is no room for things that seem so base. 
 
 Cease I to be of value in thy sight ? 
 
 The worth 1 owned hath vanislied utterly: 
 The pebbles upon which thy feet alight 
 
 To me more estimable seem than I; 
 For as the moon doth borrow all her shine. 
 My worthiness hath had its source in thine. 
 
 Fault none of mine is it that I am not 
 
 So precious as thy love hath made me seem ; 
 
 Thou prized me tlien for worth I had not got ; 
 And now thou do?^ my meed too lowly deem : 
 
 Yet if thou thinkest me such sort as this. 
 
 Am I the very poorest thing that is. 
 
 I know not why that thou should'st now prefer 
 
 Another to a heart so much thine own : 
 I'd say no more if it were worthier, 
 
 But doubt I much it love like mine hath known. 
 Oh, would I could forget that thou wert kind. 
 Or thou would'st act more truly to my mind ! 
 
 Remember this — the threat'ning cataract 
 
 That loudest roars, is use for no man's hands ; 
 
 And 'mid thy mind's best stores retain this fact — 
 The humblest waters may have golden pands : 
 
 Then scorn not thou the lowliest things that toil. 
 
 The treasures of the earth are in the soil. 
 
 "Flat disobedience and rank atheism !" exclaimed the old 
 man, after he had Ij-^tened with evident impatience to the 
 perusal of the poem — "Didst ever hear of such heathenish 
 notions ] not to say that I understand it — I'd rather be 
 hanged than understand any such villany. But what think 
 you of it, Mistress Joanna 7 I see the horrible impiety of it 
 hath quite discomposed you." 
 
 In truth, v/hat Gregory Vellum had stated, was nigh unto 
 the fact ; for Joanna had quickly discovered that the verses 
 she was reading were written for her, and intended for her 
 eye alone ; and as the allusions they contained struck upon her 
 mind, her changing colour denoted how much she was 
 moved by them. When she came to the end, she was, for a 
 few minutes utterly disconcerted. She seemed lost in a 
 maze of conflicting thoughts ; her brow became dark, and 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 29 
 
 her eyes fixed, and so completely had she given herself up 
 to her own reflections, that she heard not the question that 
 had been put to her. 
 
 " What say you, sweetheart 1" said he familiarly, laying 
 his hand upon her shoulder. " Doth not your hair stand on 
 end to see how he misuseth me'' Why, he costs me a mat- 
 ter of a groat a week for his diet — for he hath the appetite 
 of two carriers — and then — the caitiff! to be robbing me in 
 this monstrous manner, when candles are threepence to the 
 pound — and to be scribbling his preposterous atrocities when 
 stationary is at so high a cost. By my troth, he hath no 
 more virtue than an addled egg ! But what think you of 
 tlie verses V 
 
 *' Sad stuff, Master Vellum," she replied, having perfectly 
 recovered from her confusion ; " but be assured there is no 
 harm in them. I think he ought not to be encouraged in 
 these practices ; so I will e'en take the paper with me, and 
 tear it to pieces as I go along." 
 
 " Ah, do, good Joanna ! show upon it proper detestation 
 of such thorough and most inconceivable villany," said he, as 
 he observed her take possession of the poem. " But I must 
 turn the rogue out of doors ; he will ruin me straight an I 
 do not ; and I would as lief live among savages as exist 
 with a knave who plundereth me by wholesale of such es- 
 timable candies' ends, and destroys me so many fair sheets 
 of paper in inditing matters it would be a scandal to under- 
 stand." 
 
 "JVay, good Master Vellum," observed his fair com- 
 panion, " do not be so harsh with him. He is but young ; 
 and boys have a natural tendency for the perpetration of 
 these offences. When he attaineth the becoming gravity of 
 his uncle, he will give over all such primitive delinquencies." 
 
 " Dost think so, sweetest ]" inquired the old man eagerly, 
 as with a most preposterous leer, he thrust his ungraceful 
 countenance close to her beautiful face. " You are a woman 
 of admirable discretion, and of a truly excellent fancy. Dost 
 despise these raw youths ; and could'st affect a man of 
 more mature years 1" 
 
 " Ay, marry, and why not 1" inquired she very innocently. 
 
 ♦' You are a most excellent wench !" exclaimed he with 
 unaffected delight, as he seemed to feast his eyes upon the 
 graces of her countenance — " one of ten thousand. Think 
 you, you could rest content with an old man — nay, one not 
 
 3* 
 
30 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 SO old cither — wlio would never be gadding from you like 
 your young gallants, none of whom are ever to be trusted 
 out of sight, but would nourish you, and cherish you, and 
 fondle you, and make much of you, and none but you ; and 
 make you mistress of all his gold, his house, and chattels 1" 
 
 " Ay, marry, why should I not ?" repeated she in the same 
 tone. 
 
 " Then you shall have me, sweetheart !" cried the old 
 man in an ecstacy; and seeming, by the unsteady move- 
 ment of his hands with great difficulty to refrain from throw- 
 ing his arms around her neck. " I have loved you for some 
 months, sweetest! and all the little gifts I have bestowed 
 upon you, vrere to show you how enamoured I was of your 
 most blessed condition. And I will tell you a secret my love ! 
 my dove ! my angel! — my paragon of womanhood !" con- 
 tinued he, fidgeting about, and gloating upon her with his 
 lack-lustre eyes as if he were bewitciied. " Although I seem 
 so poor — yet am I richer than I seem. Ay, am I. I have 
 store of gold — bright yellow gold ! Hush, there's no one 
 listening, is there 3" he all at once exclaimed, as, fearing he 
 had said too much, he gave a restless glance around the 
 room. 
 
 " Not a soul," replied Joanna, still retaining the same un- 
 moved countenance. 
 
 "Yes, sweetheart," he continued, every now and then 
 giving a suspicious glance about him, " I have saved, and 
 scraped, and hoarded up a goodly store of wealth, the result 
 of infinite painstaking, and exceeding self denial ; and you 
 shall enjoy it ; you, my life, my queen ! Oh, how I long to 
 hug you in my most fond embrace !" 
 
 ♦' Softly, softly, Gregory Vellum," exclaimed she, quietly 
 disengaging his arms from her neck : for, unable any longer 
 to resist his impatient wishes, he had endeavoured, as our 
 great dramatist hath it, to suit the action to the word. 
 " Modest maids are not to be won in such boisterous fashion, 
 and it little becometn the respectability of your deportment 
 to exhibit such unseemly violence. As for your love, you 
 must prove it by something besides words. You have pro- 
 fessed for some time to be hugely taken with me ; but all 
 professions are naught when unaccompanied by that which 
 proveth their value. You are right liberal in promises, but 
 your performance, as yet, hath been but scanty. If you 
 have such store of gold as you talk of"^ — 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 31 
 
 " Hush ! hush ! not so loud, I prytheo, sweetheart," 
 whispered the old man, going cautiously to the door, on 
 tiptoe, opening, and looking out, and closing it carefully 
 after him. 
 
 '• Of a surety you would act more generously towards 
 me than you have yet done," continued Joanna, without at- 
 tending to the interruption ; " your true lovers are always 
 bountiiL.]. Now there is a certain Venetian chain" — 
 
 " Ay, tis of gold, and of most admirable workmanship," 
 exclaimed Gregory' Vellum, " it cost me fifty crowns, or I'm 
 a villanous Jew. I did promise it you, I remember well ; 
 but if it please you, sweetest," continued the old man, sid- 
 ling up to her, and leering in her face, " it shall be yours for 
 a kiss. Accept you the conditions ]" 
 
 " For 5'our sake, I v.ill say yes, good Gregory Vellum," 
 replied she without hesitation. 
 
 "It shall be yours — it shall be yours," cried the old man, 
 chafing his hands, and every limb of him shaking with ex- 
 citement. " Now give me the kiss, my heart ! my soul ! my 
 life ! give me the kiss, I prythee." 
 
 " The chain first, Gregory Vellum," said the other quietly, 
 as she retreated from his proffered caresses. 
 
 " Ay, but wait awhile — v/ait awliile sweetheart, and I will 
 fetch it," said he, hastening to the door, in an agony of im- 
 patience, and immediately returning to her side, before he 
 had got half way ; " but when shall be the happy day 1 — 
 name it, name it, excellent Joanna, for I do long for the time 
 when we two shall be one." 
 
 " W^e will talk of that anon ; — but, the chain," replied she. 
 
 *' I fly, sweetest," cried the old man, shuffling off towards 
 the door ; but, just as he was about to open it, he came 
 back hastily, with his eyes glistening, and his leaden coun- 
 tenance all of a glow, " we will spend all the yellow gold ; 
 we will live a right merry life. I'faith you shall have all 
 that heart can desire, you shall, you shall, you shall, my 
 queen of beauty !" 
 
 ♦• The chain, worthy Gregory Vellum," repeated his fair 
 companion, as she eluded his eager advances. 
 
 " I am gone," said he, again hastening off; but, before he 
 opened the door, he turned round, clasped his skinny hands 
 together, and turning up the whites of his eyes, exclaimed, 
 " Indeed, I iove tiiee infinitely." 
 
 •' That for thy love," cried she, spitting on the floor, with 
 
32 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 every mark of indignation and disgust, as soon as slic heard 
 him rapidly ascending the stairs — " that for thy love, thou 
 most abhorred and infamous old dotard : but I will use thee. 
 For the sake of one whose little finger is dearer to me than 
 thy old moth-eaten carcase, I will make thee bring out thy 
 long-hoarded gold, and squander it right liberally." Then, 
 hearing a noise at the door which opened into the street, 
 she looked to see who it was. The same modest youth 
 entered to whom the reader hath been introduced, at Master 
 Shakspeare his lodging, on the Bankside. 
 
 " What, Joanna !" he exclaimed, hastening towards her, 
 with a most smiling countenance — " nay, this is a pleasure 
 I dreamt not of." 
 
 " Tis I, Francis," she replied, allowing him to take her 
 hand, which he passionately pressed to his lips ; " but thy 
 cheek is flushed, and thine eye unsteady. What ails thee J" 
 
 " Nothing, dearest," said he, " 1 have been detained, and 
 I thought my uncle would be angered with me for stopping ; 
 for thou knowest how easy he is of provocation, so I ran ail 
 the way home." 
 
 " Thou hadst best make haste, and conceal thyself some- 
 where for the nonce," responded she, "for thy uncle hath 
 just left me, meaning to retuin straight ; and he is out of all 
 temper with thee, for sundry offences which hesaith thou hast 
 committed. So go thy ways and let me see thee soon, for 
 I have much to say to thee." 
 
 " I will do thy bidding lovingly ; yet it is a most regretful 
 thing to be obliged to leave thee," he said, as with reluctant 
 steps, and slow, he made towards the door. Then, keeping 
 his eyes upon her till the last moment, eloquent with a most 
 impassioned tenderness, he left the room. 
 
 " Poor boy I" murmured she, as with a countenance full of 
 melancholy interest, she watched his departure — " poor boy! 
 he little knoweth how many distasteful things I do for his 
 dear sake." 
 
 At that moment Gregory Vellum was heard upon the 
 stairs. There was a marked difference betwixt his goinjr 
 and his returning; for, whereas, in the first instance, he had 
 galloped like an ostrich, now he was heard descending, step 
 by step, so slow that it would not be a great stretch of fancy 
 to say, he might have fallen asleep between whiles. Presently 
 he opened the door, and instead of hastening towards Joanna, 
 with enamoured looks and impatient gestures, as might hav-e 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 33 
 
 been eynectcd from his previous behaviour, he advanced, at 
 a laggard's pace, with his eyes fixed upon a glittering chain 
 of gold, that he kept turning about in liis hand, and with a 
 face in which the demon of avarice had evidently got the 
 txjtter of the demon of sensuality. 
 
 "How now!" exclaimed his companion, as she noticed 
 tiis approach, " you went out as quick of motion as a young 
 <;olt — you creep in with the preposterous tediousness of a 
 snail." 
 
 " It cost me fifty crowns !" remarked he, still keeping his 
 eyes on the precious metal, as if there was a fascination in 
 it he could not withstand. 
 
 "Well, and what then?" inquired Joanna; "that is nothing 
 to the store of gold of which you mean to make such gene- 
 rous use, you know." 
 
 " Ay, said I so '." said he quickly, and with a monstrous 
 serious look, " no, 'twas a mistake. Gold ! I have no gold ; 
 where should I get goldl I am poor, miserably poor, as you 
 see. 'Tis a most admirable chain, and of right delicate work- 
 manship," he continued, feasting his eyes upon it, as it 
 glittered in his hand. 
 
 " I'faith your love is of a most miserly disposition," re- 
 sponded she, smiling most bewitchingiy all the time, " it pre- 
 ferreth a sorry chain to the object of its pretended adoration. 
 By my troth, if I marry you after this, I'll vex myself into 
 fiddle-strings." 
 
 " Ah ! talked you of marrying, sweetest V asked the old 
 man eagerly, as he raised his eyes to her face; and, im- 
 mediately they rested upon her well-favoured countenance, 
 Ihey again began to twinkle with delight. " Truly have you 
 the softest and most insinuating looks, and your smile is 
 most absolute and irresistible. Your eyes, sweetheart, are 
 as bright as this Venetian gold — but it cost me fifty crowns; 
 and the pouting ripeness of your lips hath as much tempta- 
 tion as the polish upon the links ; and, in good truth, 'tis a 
 most rare and costly trinket." And thereupon he continued, 
 now fixing his eyes upon the chain, and gloating upon its 
 brilliance; and anon raising them to the face of his fair com- 
 panion, as if doating upon its beauty. It was evident that 
 there was a struggle in his soul, about parting with his pro- 
 perty. He longed for a caress from the seductive Joanna; 
 but the Venetian trinket had wound itself round his heart so 
 strongly, that he could not bring himself to part with it. 
 
34 8HAKSPEARE 
 
 Several times it appeared that her soft glances had subdued 
 his selfish nature; but just as he was on the point of giving 
 up the object of his miserly regard, a look at its glittering 
 links would again awake his avarice, and he would hesitate 
 about its disposal. 
 
 " Good morning to you, Gregory Vellum," said Joanna, as 
 she turned upon her heel, with the intention of departing by 
 the door that led into the street. 
 
 " Nay, nay, sweetest !" exclaimed the old man, as he 
 hastened after her, and held her by the arm, " you go not 
 yet ; I part not with you in this way. Shall I have the kiss 
 you promised me 1" 
 
 " By my troth you shall," replied she ; " but why ask 
 you ] You love your paltry gold better than me, or you 
 would seem less loth to part with it ; so I'll e'en have none 
 of you.'* 
 
 " There is the chain, sweetheart," said he, eagerly throw- 
 ing it round her neck, " and now for the kiss — the kiss — the 
 kiss — my angel upon earth ! — the kiss, sweet Mistress 
 Joanna ; throw your soft arms around me, and press me 
 your delicate lips." 
 
 " There's my hand," quietly replied she, as, all impatience 
 and eagerness, spite of her retreating, he advanced towards 
 her, intent upon having her in his embrace. 
 
 " Your handV he exclaimed, with some surprise, as he 
 still strove to approach her more closely, " 'tis your rosy 
 mouth that I would have, sweetheart." 
 
 " Nay, nay ; a bargain is a bargain," said she, gravely ; 
 " you gave me a chain, and I promised you should have a 
 kiss for it. There was nothing said about my lips ; and I 
 intend only, as a great favour, that you should kiss my 
 hand ; so, fulfil your contract : — here's my hand." 
 
 At this, nothing could exceed the change that took place 
 in the old man's countenance. His delight and impatience 
 forsook him of a sudden. From being exceeding restless in all 
 his limbs, he stood as still as a stone, and he looked perfectly 
 confounded, and unable to say a word. 
 
 " Well, if you will not, mayhap another time will suit you 
 better," observed Mistress Joanna, very courteously, as she 
 proceeded towards the door. "I thank you for the chain 
 very heartily ; 'tis a gift worthy of the gravity of your aflfec- 
 tions ; and I know not, if you go on making a show of such 
 liberal behaviour, to what extent you may be rewarded. 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 35 
 
 You ouglit, however, to be aware, that a prudent woman 
 granteth but small favours at first; she will not give largely, 
 or she may be undone straight. I wish you an increasing 
 generosity ; and with this desire, worthy Gregory Vellum, I 
 do most delightedly take my leave of you." And thereupon 
 she made a curtsey to the ground, and, with one of the 
 sweetest of smiles, departed from the office. 
 
 " Fool ! dolt ! idiot ! madman 1" cried he vehemently, as 
 he beat his head with his clenched fists, " to be tricked, 
 cozened, and imposed upon, in this barefaced manner, by a 
 woman. Oh ! Gregory Vellum, Gregory Vellum, what a 
 very ass thou art ! My chain of Venice gold is lost irre- 
 trievably, that I took for a debt of fifty crowns, and for 
 which Master Ingot, the goldsmith, would have given me 
 forty at any time. Oh ! fool, that can only cozen boys and 
 folks afar off, thou art cheated past all redemption !" Then 
 he went and sat upon the stool, and leaned his head upon 
 his hand, apparently in a monstrous melancholy humour. 
 " Fifty crowns gone for nothing. Oh !" exclaimed he fran- 
 tically, beating his heels against the stool, and then wringing 
 his hands ; " what a poor, wretched, miserable lunatic am I, 
 to think of courting at my time of day. Such a brilliant 
 chain! Oh! most preposterous idiot! fif^y crowns! Oh! 
 thou incomprehensible blockhead ! I could beat out my 
 brains with a wisp of straw, out of very vexation." And 
 thereupon he jumped off the stool, being perfectly restless, 
 and unable to contain himself, and did begin to shuffle up 
 and down the room with his stick, flinging himself about, 
 ejaculating all sorts of condemnations upon his folly and in- 
 sanity, and looking with a physiognomy as woful and en- 
 raged as ever miser exhibited at the loss of a part of his 
 gain. 
 
 Presently he stood still of a sudden ; for a voice — a rich, 
 clear, mellifluous voice — was heard singing the following 
 words : — 
 
 " I gave my love a posie gay, 
 
 Of all the sweetest flowers in May, 
 
 And bade her, till their leaves might die, * 
 
 Upon her breast to let them lie. 
 
 ' rfaith,' quoth she, 
 
 * Are these for me^ 
 Like thy sweet words, how sweet they be. 
 
 But if thy maid 
 
 Thy love should aid, 
 Oh! bring her gifts that never fade.' '* 
 
36 SHAKSPEARB 
 
 " A murrain on him ! that's my pestilent nephew," ex- 
 claimed the old man, in high dudgeon ; " but I marvel infi- 
 nitely how he got in ; — or hath he been in the house all the 
 time ?" He stopped, for the singer proceeded. 
 
 " I gave my love a riband rare, 
 To tie around her silken hah*. 
 
 * Sweetheart,' quoth I, ' long may it grace 
 So brave, so proud a resting place.* 
 
 * Ah me,' she cried. 
 And looked and sighed, 
 
 * In this bright gaud thy looks I've spied ; 
 
 But see ! 'twill fray 
 And wear away— 
 Oh ! bring me gifts that last for aye.' " 
 
 " A pernicious varlet, will he never have done with his 
 coxcombical singing 1" cried Gregory Vellum : but the 
 singer continued his song. 
 
 " I gave my love a golden ring, 
 To prize above each meaner thing, 
 And on her finger bade it rest 
 AVhilst truth had footing in her breast. 
 
 ' Dear heart, I vow. 
 Thou hast me now,' 
 Said she, all blushing to her brow; 
 
 * The sterling ore 
 Lasts evermore, 
 
 And binds fond hearts, unbound before.' " 
 
 " Oh ! thf unwhipped rogue ! he sings of love at his age," 
 exclaimed the old miser, in seeming consternation. " Well, 
 who can doubt the wickedness of the world after this ! But 
 I'll trounce him, I'll warrant me. Francis," he bawled, as 
 loud as he could, first opening the door, that he might be 
 heard, and then muttering to himself, and crying out by 
 turns, proceeded thus — "A young profligate, to think of 
 singing love ditties at his time of life ; — was ever such 
 iniquity in this world ? Francis !" again screamed he, 
 with all the strength of his lungs. " An' I do not make him 
 hear, I'll make him feel. Francis ! Francis ! Francis ! I say." 
 
 " Did you call, uncle?" said the youth quietly, as he pre- 
 sented himself at the door. 
 
 " Call, sirrah !" replied the old man, shaking with rage — 
 " call, varlet ! have I not been bawhng, and squalling, and 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 37 
 
 tearing my lungs piecemeal after thee for these two hours 
 past." 
 
 " I did not hear you till this moment, or I should have 
 come down," observed the youth. 
 
 " Hear me !" exclaimed Master Vellum vehemently, 
 " how couldst thou expect to hear me, thou reprobate ! 
 when thou wert making the place ring with thy amorous 
 ballads] Be that proper matter to sing at an honest 
 scrivener's ? Why, the passengers will take the house for a 
 bagnio. Fie upon thee ! when I was of thy age I sung 
 psalms and godly hymns — but I was noted as a youth of a 
 most modest discretion. What art thou noted for, I won- 
 der 1 for impudency, disobediency, and all manner of dis- 
 honesty." 
 
 " Dishonesty, uncle !" said Master Francis, with unaffected 
 surprise. 
 
 " Ay, dishonesty, sirrah ! Look here !" and he took from 
 his vest the dirty rag that hath previously been described, 
 and begun carefully to unfold it — " here be a foul robbery 
 thou hast committed. How didst get these fine pieces of 
 candle I found in thy room T Hast no shame ? What, pilfer 
 from thy poor yet too liberal uncle, when candles stand me 
 in fifty crowns to the pound !" 
 
 " Fifty crowns, uncle !" exclaimed his nephew, with in- 
 creasing astonishment, " why, fbought them myself of To- 
 bias Mottle, tiie chandler over the way, and then they had 
 only rose to threepence for the pound, in consequence of 
 the exceeding scarcity of kitchen stuff." 
 
 " Well, no matter, sirrah, no matter !" cried the old man, 
 in no way abating his passion, " thou hast robbed me — that 
 is manifest. Thou hast taken advantage of the natural 
 generosity of my disposition, and art in the habit of con- 
 suming my substance without my privity. I tell thee it be 
 infamous — I tell thee it be a felony — I tell thee it be hanging, 
 whipping, and the pillory. What a monster of ingratitude 
 thou art, to defraud me of such exquisite gold of Venice of 
 which they are made." 
 
 " Gold of Venice, uncle !" exclaimed the youth, almost 
 inclined to laugh at the idea ; " nay, if they be not made of 
 the most notorious tallow, I am a heathen." 
 
 " Tush ! I forgot," cried Gregory Vellum, striking his 
 stick violently against the floor. " But it availeth thee no- 
 thing. Thou art a thief." 
 
 VOL. !. 4 
 
38 SHAKSrEARE 
 
 " I am no thief, sir," said the youth, reddening in the facej 
 •' I do confess that I took what you have in your hand, that 
 I might have light to assist me in my studies ; but if the 
 loss grieve you, they cannot be worth more tiian a half- 
 penny, and you may either keep them, or I will pay you for 
 them." 
 
 " Pay, pay ! why, how now 1 who talks of paying ? 
 where dost get the money from, fellow 1" rapidly inquired 
 the old man, fixing on his nephew a searching and inquisi- 
 tive look ; " and how earnest thou by those heathenish books 
 of which thou hast such goodly store V 
 
 "I had them from a friend," replied Master Francis, " and 
 I am obliged to be indebted to the same quarter for such as- 
 sistance as my necessities require — which are caused by 
 those who should have taken care that I lack nothing." 
 
 *' Lack ! — what dost lack ? thou ungrateful vagabond !" 
 demanded his uncle angrily, yet not ill pleased that such 
 things were not done at his cost, " do I not find thee a most 
 comfortable home 1 — do I not keep thee in excellent wearing 
 apparel! — and as for eating, didst thou not eat right heartily 
 yesterday at dinner of a most princely dish of cabbage and 
 bacon?" 
 
 "As for the home, uncle," said the youth, "your penu- 
 riousness and ill-temper mal^e it any thing but comfortable. 
 For the clothing — when you have worn your doublet 
 threadbare, you think it good enough for me ; — as for my 
 dinner yesterday, it consisted of a piece of rusty bacon, 
 scarcely big enough for the baiting of a rat-trap, with about 
 as much cabbage as might serve for a caterpillar's break- 
 fast." 
 
 " Oh, thou unnatural prodigal!" exclaimed Master Vellum, 
 lifting up his hands and eyes in amazement. " This comes 
 of writing verses ! this comes of singing love songs ! O' 
 my life, I have a monstrous inclination to beat thee." 
 
 " You had better not, uncle," said the other calmly. 
 
 "Nay, but I will, caitiff!" replied he, lifting up his stick 
 and approaching his nephew threateningly. 
 
 " If you do," said Master Francis, his face now as pale as 
 it a moment since was rubicund, "if you do, I'll give you 
 such a shaking you never had since you were born." 
 
 "Hub — bub — boo!" exclaimed the old man, starting 
 back, stammering, several paces, as if the threat had taken 
 h4s breath away; and there he stood, with stick uphfted 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 39 
 
 and mouth open, looking the very picture of horror and 
 surprise. In fact, the conduct of his nephew had come 
 upon him with a most perfect astonishment ; for the natural 
 modesty of the youth's disposition had hitlierto made him 
 bear his uncle's ill humours with meekness ; but possibly 
 the wine he had drunk with Master Shakspeare had put a 
 bolder spirit into his nature. There, however, did he stand, 
 pale and melancholy, yet resolute; with arms folded, and 
 eyes, with an unmoved fixedness, resting upon his terrified 
 kinsman. 
 
 *' Oh, the monstrousness of the age !" at last ejaculated 
 Gregory Vellum, " Oh, the horrid villany ! But thou shalt 
 troop for it. I will get rid of thee straight. Thou shalt find 
 other uncles to give thee houseroom, and feed and clothe 
 thee, thou pestilent varlet ! for I'll have none of thee. Was 
 it not enough that thou shouldst rob me of fifty crowns^ 
 tush ! what was I a saying 1 — of so much excellent candle 
 — but that thou shouldst threaten to give me a shaking of 
 right exquisite Venetian workmanship — Alas ! these villanies 
 have undone me ! I know not what I say." Then wildly 
 knocking the palm of his hand against his forehead, the old 
 man rushed out of the room, shouting " Oh, my fifty crowns ! 
 my fifty crowns !" leaving Master Francis in as great a 
 ■wonder as Master Francis had a moment since put his mi- 
 serly kinsman. 
 
 CHAPTEPx, III. 
 
 Love me not for comely grace. 
 For my pleasing- eye or face. 
 Nor for any outward part, 
 Nor for my too constant heart. 
 For those may fail or turn to ill, 
 
 And thus our love shall sever ; 
 Keep therefore a true woman's eye. 
 And love me still — yet know not wliy — 
 So hast thou the same reason still 
 
 To dote upon me ever. "Wilbye. 
 
 A combination and a form indeed, 
 Where every god did seera to set his seal 
 To give the world assurance of a man. 
 
 SUAKSFEARE. 
 
 It was in a private closet in the queen's palace of White- 
 hall, that two of her majesty's maids of honour were assist- 
 
40 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 ing each other in attiring, and were conversing with that 
 confidence that denoteth perfect friendship. The one, the 
 taller of the two, was of a most majestic shape, with a coun- 
 tenance of exquisite softness, impressed with a touch of re- 
 flection, that at times made her seem somewhat of a reserved 
 and melancholy disposition : but in truth she was a most 
 handsome woman, and of an excellent fair complexion. The 
 other appeared both shorter and younger; her face was 
 dark, yet did the roses bloom in it most becomingly ; an 
 arched mouth she had, dimpled on one cheek, and as for 
 her eyes, they were the most laughing, roguish, brilliant 
 pair of twinklers that ever pretty wench was blessed withaK 
 Of these fair damsels, the first was Elizabeth Throckmorton, 
 and the latter, her cousin Alice. 
 
 " What dost sigh for, Bess T* suddenly inquired the 
 youngest. " O' my troth, thou hast appeared very woful 
 of late." 
 
 "Did I sigh, Alice?" asked the other, dejectedly. 
 
 " Sigh, coz !" repeated Alice. " No old bellows with fifty- 
 holes in it ever breathed with so undone a sadness. This 
 comes of being in love, Bess. Art sighing for Sir Walter 
 Raleigh? I see by thy blushing I have hit it. Well, Heaven 
 help thy five wits, that can find matter for sadness in things 
 that give me such infinite matter for mirth. And what be 
 this same animal, called man ? A thing to laugh at — a joke 
 that goes upon two legs — a walking piece of provocation for 
 women to break a jest upon. Is he not a most absurd crea- 
 ture? rfaith, us poor maids would have all died of melan- 
 choly long since, if the men had not kept us alive by afford- 
 ing us such exquisite subjects for sport. And then the airs 
 they give themselves. Didst ever see a peacock in the sunl 
 he spreads himself out just like your man animal ; and struts 
 about, and looks as preposterously fine and proud. Poor 
 fool ! a goose would look as v,'e]l liad it the same feathers. 
 And, like the clown in the play, he taketh a world of pains 
 to get well laughed at by his audience. Well, I think I lack 
 not gratitude. I owe a bountiful load of thanks to these our 
 estimable benefactors, and all that my poor wit can do to 
 render them as ridiculous as they seek to be, they shall 
 have. They call themselves lords of the creation too, when 
 they have about as much omnipotence as a cockle-shell. 
 Whatever lords they may be of, they shall never be lords of 
 my bed-chamber, I promise you ; for, before I marry a man» 
 I'll give my virginity to an owl." 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 41 
 
 "f* Alice, Alice ! how thou dost run on," exclaimed Mistress 
 Throckmorton. 
 
 " Ay, forsooth, had I no legs I could run on with such a 
 subject," replied her cousin, laughing merrily. *' But how 
 dost like the setting of tiiis sleeve?" 
 
 " It is of a pretty fashion, and of the most dainty fabric," 
 said the other, with a careless glance at the dress, 
 
 " That all thou canst say about it ?" responded her com- 
 panion archly. ■" Had I asked thee concerning the captain 
 of the queen's guard, wouldst thou have merely said, ' It is 
 of a pretty fashion, and of a most dainty fabric V " here the 
 merry little creature mimicked her companion. " O' my 
 word, no — I should never have heard the last of him. Thou 
 would have given me whole chapters upon every hair of his 
 head." 
 
 " But is he not a wise and most noble gentleman ?" asked 
 her cousin, earnestly. 
 
 " Wise, quotha !" exclaimed Alice, with a smile of pecu- 
 liar meaning. " Wise man ] — wise fiddlestick ! In what is 
 he wise? Doth he not talk admirably f So doth a parrot 
 if it be well taught. Wise oyster ! And there is but little 
 difference betwixt your oyster and your man. Your oyster 
 hath a beard, so hath your man ; — so he need not brag so 
 much on that account. But the difference be all in favour 
 of your oyster ; for your oyster is delicate eating, but your 
 man is for no Christian stomach, cook him how you will. 
 Wise calf! Why, there is more philosophy in a forked radish 
 than ever you will find in your wise man." 
 
 " In truth, Alice, if I did not know thee to be a most kind- 
 hearted wench and a merry, I should think thee very mali- 
 cious," observed the eldest. 
 
 " I bear no malice against the poor creatures," replied the 
 other, with pretended meekness. " It would be a right 
 shameful return for the unceasing efforts they make to amuse 
 me. Well it be not their fault that they have not more 
 sense ; and considering how foolish they are by nature, I 
 must do them the justice to say, that they do as well as they 
 can." 
 
 " But I cannot love thee, if thou wilt not love Walter," 
 said Mistress Throckmorton, looking with much seriousness 
 in the face of her witty relative. 
 
 ♦' Love him, coz !" exclaimed Alice, affectionately kissing 
 her forehead. " I will do any thing to pleasure thee." 
 
 4* 
 
42 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 And thereupon the two coushis did caress one another 
 with a lovingness that was most toucliing to behold, 
 
 " But if he make thee melancholy, I'll be hanged if I love 
 him," continued she with much emphasis. 
 
 *' It be not his fault, dear Alice," replied her companion. 
 " He is always good and kind and noble. I alone am to 
 blame — I am very much to blame." And, saying this, she 
 suddenly did throw herself upon the neck of her kinswoman, 
 in an uncontrollable agony of hysteric sobs and tears ; and 
 wept outright. 
 
 " Bess ! Bess ! Cousin ! Elizabeth !" cried the now alarm- 
 ed and anxious Alice. "What meaneth this? Wiiy are 
 these tears — and for what art thou to blame) Nay, this i» 
 mere folly. If the queen find out that Sir Walter love thee, 
 she may be wrath with him and thee for a time, but it will 
 all blow over harmlessly, I'll be bound for it ; and there is 
 no occasion to fret thyself till it happen. Come, dry up thy 
 tears, or I'll not let thee see him for a month." 
 
 " I must see him this morning, dear Alice !" remarked her 
 cousin earnestly. *' Thou must contrive to let me have 
 speech with him here ; for it is of the utmost importance." 
 
 " Here, cousin !" 
 
 " Ay, here, Alice," replied she ; " my life, all that is dear to 
 me, depends upon it." 
 
 " Well, if that be the case, I'll strive whatever my love 
 can do to bring it about," responded the other. " But see 
 how monstrously thou hast rumpled my ruff. If the queen 
 see it she will swear I have been romping." At this they 
 both strove to smooth the creases as well as they could. 
 " And now let me help thee on with thy robe," she conti- 
 nued, as she assisted in attiring her. " Ah, love's a sad 
 thing, and therefore I like it not, dear Bess ; for I like merry 
 things." 
 
 " Thou wilt change thy tune anon, depend on't," said the 
 elder. 
 
 "Change my tune? I'll change my nature first," replied 
 the other. " By my troth, if the sky were to rain lovers, I'd 
 keep under shelter. Save in the way of sport, if ever I have 
 any thing to do with these man animals — why then pickle 
 me. And what a set I have around me at this present ! 
 Noah's ark contained not such another. First, I have my 
 Lord Burghley, who looks as virtuous as small beer, and is 
 just as sour upon occasion. He taketh upon him to com- 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 43 
 
 mend my beauty, when the lord treasurer desireth to make 
 himself agreeable to the maid of honour ; then sayeth he, 
 with a very infinite gravity, ♦ Be chary of thy smiles, mis- 
 tress ; butter melts i' the sun! butter melts i' the sun!'" 
 And here she mimicked the voice and manner of that most 
 worshipful and profound statesman, of glorious memory, and 
 then proceeded imitating, in the same ludicrous way, the 
 different individuals she named. "Then comes young gra- 
 vity, his son, Sir Robert Cecil, who hath a smile for every 
 one, and — nothing else ; and as he happens to be possessed 
 of a person in no way flattering to the eye, he chooseth to 
 make use of a tongue in every way flattering to the ear. 
 * Sweet Alice,' saith he, in a whisper, if he happen to stand 
 by me in the throng, ' Indeed, I cannot help but think thee 
 the flower of the whole court.' After him we have Lord 
 Henry Howard — or rather with him — for they generally 
 hunt in couples, like hounds of better breed ; and he is some- 
 what of a soldier — somewhat of a sailor — somewhat of a 
 gallant, and a great deal of a courtier ; — and he kisseth my 
 hand cavalierly, and looketh into my eyes as if he saw there 
 something he had lost — his own modesty, mayhap, if he 
 ever had any — and sweareth me one of the newest oaths, 
 saying, • I could stand the enemy, but not those lustrous 
 orbs !'" 
 
 " Alice, thy wit will be the ruin of thee." 
 
 "Then cometh my Lord Pembroke, the hopeful pupil of 
 that marvellous scholar and exquisite specimen of chivalry, 
 Sir Philip Sidney," continued the laughing girl. " And he 
 readeth me an essay an hour long on the surpassing virtues 
 of the dames of antiquity ; and looking the very pink of 
 courtesy, telleth me, ' Thou wouldst make an admirable Ar- 
 cadian shepherdess, only the infinite roguery that lurks in 
 the dimple of thy cheek would create a world of mischief 
 among the swains.' Then comes my lord chamberlain, the 
 bluff and martial Earl of Sussex, with guns and pistols in 
 his looks, and cannon-balls in his conversation ; and he sa- 
 lutes me most soldierly, with an ' Hullo, mistress ! were I 
 for kissing, I know the pair of lips Fd choose out of a thou- 
 sand.' After him we have the proud and impetuous Essex 
 — all splendour — all gallantry — all impulse — and all nothing : 
 and he cometh to me alone with an irresistible air, protest- 
 ing, ' By tliis hand, an' I love thee not I am a Turk.' " 
 
44 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 " Alice ! Alice !" exclaimed her cousin seriously, " if thou 
 art heard saying this, thou art utterly undone." 
 
 " Then cometh the gallant, gay, tlie learned, witty, brave, 
 and handsome — in fact the very thing — Sir Walter Raleigh." 
 
 "Alice!" cried Mistress Elizabeth Throckmorton, re- 
 proachfully. 
 
 " Well, dear Bess, I will say nothing of him, since it doth 
 not please thee," replied her companion. " And now, be- 
 cause thou art quite ready, and I have teased thee in some 
 measure, I will go and seek the noble captain ; for, if 1 mis- 
 take not, he must by this time be in attendance." 
 
 " There's a good wench !" exclaimed her cousin, kissing 
 her affectionately. " But be cautious in thy proceeding, for 
 if the queen know of his being with me, Walter will be 
 ruined and I undone." 
 
 " Be cautious ! will I not !" replied the light-hearted crea- 
 ture, with a toss of her little head. " I'll be as sly as a cat 
 stealing of cream ; and if her majesty find me out I'll e'en give 
 her leave to box my ears, as she did those of the lovely Mis- 
 tress Bridges, who was guilty of having had the presumption 
 to be admired by the imperial Essex. But Bess," continued 
 she, turning round with an arch look, as she reached the 
 door, " 'tis a burning shame thou shouldst be in love. I 
 marvel at it hugely. Well, if ever thou catchest me pos- 
 sessed of any of thy melancholy humours, I'll give thee leave 
 to shut me up in a mouse-trap." And with a laugh as shrill 
 and musical as the alarum of a silver bell, did the pretty piece 
 of mirth and mischief leave the roof. 
 
 But her cousin was in no mood to join in her merriment ; 
 and immediately Alice was gone she sat herself down in a 
 chair, and there stole over her fair countenance an expres- 
 sion of deep and right eloquent sadness. She sat with her 
 arms crossed upon her lap, most dejectedly ; and her soft 
 eyes, swimming in tears, fixed upon the floor. And in that 
 position did she continue for at least the fourth part of an 
 hour, feeding reflection with the delicious food of memory, 
 mingled with so many fearful forebodings as were sufficient, 
 with their bitterness to spoil the sweetness of her thoughts. 
 She wept not, neitker did she smile ; but it seemed as if in 
 her admirable features there was going on a continual strug- 
 gle between the most exquisite pleasure and the most direful 
 apprehension, and the latter got such mastery as might suf- 
 fice to give her lids as much moisture as they could carry, 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 45 
 
 nnd impress on her well-favoured aspect, a character of more 
 than ordinary grief Anon, her eyes becoming overcharged, 
 there was cast down upon each cheek a tear-drop, and the 
 light falling thereon from the window where she sat, did 
 make its brilliancy so apparent, that it would have put to 
 shame, the brightest jewel that ever glittered in her sto- 
 macher ; and these gems of purest water, as if enamoured of 
 their fair resting-place, sought not to move from the spot 
 where they had fallen ; which gave to her the appearance of 
 a most beautiful and moving Niobe. 
 
 Presently she heard a footstep in the corridor, and her 
 heart thereupon began to beat with a more perceptible throb- 
 bing. The footstep approached, and the colour mounted to 
 her cheek — it stopped at the door, and the cheek became 
 pale as marble. In a moment the door opened quickly, and 
 was as quickly closed ; and, as a cavalier of a most noble 
 appearance entered the room, with a half-stifled cry of exulta- 
 tion, she rushed towards him, and sunk swooning upon his 
 breast. 
 
 In truth, the cavalier was of a most valiant and commend- 
 able presence. His high and expansive forehead was partly 
 concealed by his hat (in which was a little black feather, with 
 a large ruby and pearl drop at the bottom of the sprig, in 
 place of the button) ; yet sufficient of it was observable to 
 denote the fine intellect that lay within. His eyes were 
 large and intelligent — his nose somewhat long, yet not out of 
 proportion — his lips delicately curved, with a fair mustache 
 on the upper lip, and a beard of moderate growth, hand- 
 somely rounded under the chin beneath, encircled by a frilled 
 ruff; and his complexion was somewhat browned, as if by 
 exposure to foreign climates, or hard service in the wars. 
 His stature was six feet full, with limbs elegantly yet strong- 
 ly moulded. He was apparelled in a white satin pinked vest, 
 close-sleeved to the wrist, having over the body of it a brown 
 doublet, finely flowered, and embroidered with pearls ; with 
 a belt of the same colour and ornament, on the left side of 
 which hung his sword, and on the other was seen the pom- 
 mel of his dagger. His trunks, with his stockings and ribband 
 garters, were all of white, and fringed at the end ; and his 
 shoes were of buff, tied with white ribbands. He might be 
 somewhere between thirty and forty years of age ; that is to 
 say, in the very prime and vigour of his life. And a braver 
 soldier, a handsomer man, or a more accomplished gen- 
 tleman, the court of Elizabeth did not contain at that time. 
 
46 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 "Bess ! Bess ! dear, sweet, exquisite Bess !" cried he fling- 
 ing down his hat, and pressing Iier in his arms. " By hea- 
 ven ! she hath swooned," he exclaimed, as lie observed her 
 head droop, and her cheek quite pallid : then, cautiously fas- 
 tening the door, he bore his lovely burthen to where stood 
 an ewer of water, which he began presently to sprinkle on 
 her face, all the while using most endearing expressions and 
 caresses, and exhibiting a truly earnest solicitude. 
 
 " They have fastened thy boddice most infamously tight, 
 dear Bess, and 'tis beyond my poor wit to loose it," said he 
 earnestly, as he tried unavailingly to undo the fastenings of 
 her robe. " S'blood, I have a good mind to rip it up with 
 my dagger ; and if she recover not quickly, I will. Dear, 
 dear Bess !" he continued, with more emphasis, as he began 
 vigorously to chafe her hands. " Revive thee, girl — revive! 
 'Tis I — 'tis Walter — thy Walter, dear Bess. There is no- 
 thing to fear, believe me. We have no one near, the queen's 
 in the council-chamber, and I have well excused my attend- 
 ance. Come, Bess, I say — sweetest ! dearest ! best ! ray 
 heart! my life !— ^Ha, she revives !" he cried joyfully, as he 
 observed signs of returning animation in her countenance. 
 ** Indeed, I have a mind to scold thee — only I have no heart 
 to do it." 
 
 " Walter ! dear Walter !'* murmured the beautiful woman, 
 fixing upon him a look of most impassioned tenderness, 
 directly she recovered sufficient consciousness of where and 
 with whom she was ; and then throwing her arms around 
 his neck, and resting her head upon his shoulder, began to 
 sob violently. 
 
 " Now, Bess, this is unkind of thee," said Sir Walter, in 
 rather a reproaching tone ; but immediately added with a 
 kinder voice, " but what aileth thee, sweetest V 
 
 "Oh, I have undone thee — I have undone thee quite!" 
 exclaimed she, as plainly as her sobs would allow. 
 
 "Not while I wear a sword, dear Bess, and am free to go 
 where I will," he replied. 
 
 " The queen will know all, dear Walter — she must dis- 
 cover it soon." 
 
 " Why so, dear Bess V inquired Sir Walter. 
 
 " Alas ! I cannot tell thee — no, indeed, I cannot tell thee, 
 dear Walter," said Mistress Elizabeth, sobbing more vio- 
 lently ; " but I must leave this place. Do take me away. I 
 cannot stay here but a very short time longer without utter 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 47 
 
 destruction to thy fortunes. Oh ! take me away, Walter — 
 take me away !" 
 
 " It shall be as thou desirest, sweetest," replied Raleigh, 
 stooping down and kissing her cheek. " I have already ar- 
 ranged with thy father for a private marriage before I em- 
 bark on a voyage, the good results of which, I hope, will 
 win my pardon from the queen." 
 
 "Thanks, dear Walter," exclaimed she, looking gratefully 
 upon him through her tears ; "thou art always good, and 
 noble, and generous : but I am fearful it will be thy utter 
 undoing." 
 
 " Think not of it, Bess," said her lover kindly, " and then 
 it cannot fright thee. But the danger is none so imminent. 
 I shall not let her majesty know of our marriage if it can be 
 helped. Thou shalt get away from here as if on a visit to thy 
 father in Aldgate, and so excite no suspicions ; in the mean- 
 time, I will increase my attentions to the queen, so that she 
 shall have no reason to quarrel with my behaviour ; and 
 when thou art secure in thy asylum, I shall start in my good 
 ships for the voyage I intend." 
 
 " I would not have thee anger the queen for worlds," ob- 
 served the other, " for it is in her power to make thy for- 
 tunes, or mar them. Elizabeth hath a very woman's heart 
 in some things, though she be masculine enough in others ; 
 and she loveth the adulation of handsome men. She much 
 regardeth thee, dear Walter, I know, and from that I am 
 fearful that her knowledge of thy marriage will deeply affect 
 thy prosperity. Indeed, I would rather die than that thou 
 shouldst receive injury for my sake." 
 
 " O' my life, thou art a most admirable creature," ex- 
 claimed Sir Walter, as he rapturously pressed her within his 
 arms, " and I should be totally unworthy of possessing that 
 rich argosie, thy affections, were I not to risk my life, and 
 all that to it do belong, in endeavouring to secure thy peace 
 of mind. I fear not consequences in such a case, dear Bess. 
 As for the queen, I know that flattery is rarely unacceptable 
 to her ; and her name and thine being the same, I can easily 
 quiet the scruples of my conscience, if they say aught against 
 my insincerity, by imagining that it is to thee my homage 
 is addressed." 
 
 " I care not, Walter, what thou sayest or what thou doest, 
 as long as thou boldest thy proper quality and station in the 
 court," replied the devoted woman; and then, with a sudden 
 
48 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 look of right earnest affection, continued, "thy proper quality, 
 said 1 1 — nay, if thou attainest tfiat, by my troth, thou 
 wouldst be kinoj of them all." 
 
 " Oh, thou outra.ceous flatterer," cried Raleigh, sportively 
 shaking his head at her. 
 
 ♦' 'Tis no flattery, dear Walter — 'tis the very truth," said 
 Mistress Elizabeth fondly. *' And who can look on thy 
 noble form clad in these princely vestments, and not say the 
 same 1 But above all, who can regard thy noble mind — 
 that costly jewel in a rich case — and deny thy pre-emi- 
 nence 7" 
 
 " Bess ! Bess ! if thou goest on at this rate," replied Sir 
 Walter with an assumed gravity, "I shall be reduced to fol- 
 low the obsolete custom of blushing, which will bear hardly 
 upon me, seeing that I lack blushes most abominably." 
 
 At this moment a quick light footstep was heard proceed- 
 ing along the corridor, and Mistress Elizabeth, as soon as 
 she recognised it, disengaged herself from the embraces of 
 her lover, hastened to the door, which she immediately 
 unfastened, and, opening it, gave entrance to her cousin 
 Alice. 
 
 " A plague on this love, say I," exclaimed she, laughingly, 
 as she bounced into the room nearly out of breath. 
 
 " What's the matter, Alice?" inquired her cousin anxiously. 
 
 " A5% what's the matter, sweet coz ]" added Sir Walter. 
 
 *• Coz ! coz, indeed !" cried Alice, somewhat disdainfully, 
 yet with an arch glance of her eye, as she turned sharp 
 round upon the last speaker — " I prythee keep thy co2:-ening 
 for those who will listen to thee. I'll have none on't." 
 
 *' I'faith, Alice, if thy wit be always so sharp, thou wilt 
 lead apes in the next world, depend on't," said Raleigh. 
 
 '* I don't know, sweet sir, whether there be apes in the 
 next world," said she, with a curtsey to the ground, " but 
 o' my word, there be nothing else to lead in this, as I 
 can see." At this Sir Walter good-humouredly did laugh 
 outright ; in which he was heartily joined by his merry 
 companion. 
 
 •' But what brought thee into the room so post-haste, 
 Alice ?" inquired Mistress Elizabeth. 
 
 " Marry, matter enough," replied she : '• there be the 
 queen's majesty in her chamber, inquiring most piteously 
 for her captain of the guard, and sending the ushers and 
 the grooms in all directions after the lost sheep. I being 
 
AND Ills FRIENDS. 49 
 
 asked if I knew where he was to be found, did Innocently 
 answer, that having for some time past suspected him of 
 the criminal intention of setting the Thames on fire, I did 
 opine that he might be met with in tiie buttery, begging 
 the loan of a wax-taper for the nonce." 
 
 ** I'll give thee a beating for that," cried Sir Walter 
 laughingly, as following her round the chamber, with his 
 glove he did whip her over the shoulder, while she, duck- 
 ing her pretty head, cried out, and sought to avoid the 
 blows. 
 
 "Help, good coz, help!" she cried to her cousin, who 
 stood by, showing by her sweet smiling countenance that 
 she did mightily enjoy the scene. " Help ! or this valiant 
 Sir Walter Raleigh, who maketh war upon women, will get 
 the better of me." 
 
 " Nay, Alice, I'll help thee not — for thou dost richly de- 
 serve all that thou receivest," said Mistress Elizabeth. 
 
 " Confess that thou hast slandered me, thou pretty mis- 
 chief," exclaimed Raleigh, holding up the glove threateningly, 
 as she crouched down at his feet. 
 
 " I will confess, holy father," replied she, with an admira- 
 ble mock seriousness, as she put her palms together, and 
 turned up her brilliant eyes to his — all the while a smile 
 playing about her dimpled cheek, that gave to her face an 
 expression of archness infinitely pleasant to look upon. 
 
 " In the first place, holy father, the queen is not in her 
 chamber, because she is still with the lords of the council." 
 
 " Oh, thou abominable transgressor !" cried Sir Walter, 
 with all the seriousness he could assume. 
 
 " In the second place, she hath not sent for thee, because 
 she requireth thee not." 
 
 "Daughter! daughter! thy iniquity is palpable," said he 
 with the same gravity. 
 
 " In the last place, I have just met with master secretary, 
 who saith that the council is about to break up, and inquired 
 if I had seen thee. Thereupon I sent him where I knew 
 he would not find thee, and hastened to where I knew I 
 should." 
 
 " Thou must do penance for this," observed Raleigh ; 
 then somewhat maliciously added, " therefore I do condemn 
 thee to the scarcely endurable punishment of holding thy 
 tongue for a whole hour." 
 
 VOL. I. 5 
 
50 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 "I'faith thou hast it this time, Alice!" exclaimed Mistress 
 Elizabeth, with undisguised glee. 
 
 " And now, beauties, I must be under the painful necessity 
 of hurrying my departure," said Sir Walter, taking up his hat, 
 and gallantly bowing to the fair cousins ; then smiling tri- 
 umphantly on the laughing Alice, who had remained on the 
 floor where he had left her, wearing the most pitiful face 
 that eye ever beheld, he was about to make his exit, when 
 Mistress Elizabeth rushed before him. 
 
 " Stop, Walter," cried she, hastily, " till I see if the coast 
 be clear for thee," as she opened the door, and looking out 
 cautiously, immediately added, in a more subdued voice,-— 
 " 'tis as it should be ; and now, dear Walter, let me once 
 more entreat of thee to keep on good terms with the queen." 
 
 " I will strive all I can, dear Bess," replied her lover, 
 affectionately raising her hand to his lips, " and be sure that 
 you make proper and speedy preparations for thy departure 
 from this place." 
 
 " 1 will not fail," said the beautiful woman ; and, in the 
 next moment, she was watching the noble form of her 
 affianced husband retreating with hasty strides along the 
 corridor. 
 
 Sir Walter Raleigh proceeded onwards, passing several 
 doors on each side of him, and various passages that led to 
 divers parts of the palace, till he came to a staircase of fair 
 proportions, the balustrades of which were finely carved, 
 having at their extremities rampant lions, most ingeniously 
 wrought out of the solid wood. At the bottom of this flight 
 of steps he passed sundry of the yeomen of the guard, placed 
 there upon duty, who gave him instant salutation ; and still 
 advancing, met with pages, grooms, and ushers, hastening 
 on their business, who, with great show of respect, did do 
 him reverence. With these were sometimes mingled the 
 higher officers of the palace, and gentlemen and noblemen 
 of the court, either intent upon their duties, or discoursing 
 with one another, as they walked carelessly along, and with 
 them he did exchange abundance of courtesies. As he was 
 turning sharply round a corner, he came suddenly against a 
 courtier of a very notable aspect, and of right commendable 
 habiliments ; his face was fair to look upon, and dressed 
 with a constant smile. An observer might suppose him of 
 an ingenuous nature, and of a remarkable honesty ; gentle 
 in his behaviour, upright in his conduct, and chivalrous in 
 
AND HIS PR1END3. 51 
 
 Ws disposition : yet was he a thorongb courtier, as will 
 anon be made manit'est to the reader. He was young; that 
 is to say, of some thirty years or so ; and being of a hand- 
 some figure and countenance, his apparel, though it lacked 
 the splendour of Sir Walter Raleigh's, was evidently worn 
 to set them off to the best advantage. 
 
 " Odds pittiklns, Sir Walter," exclaimed he, laughingly, 
 as he recovered himself from the shock, *' dost take me for a 
 Spanish galleon, that thou runnest me down in this pitiless 
 fashion ]" 
 
 " Thy pardon, my good lord," replied Sir Walter, as he 
 held out his hand, which the other shook with all the fervour 
 of old friendship, " Lord Henry Howard hath so proved him- 
 self the queen's good soldier, as to make it impossible for 
 any one to take him for a Spaniard." 
 
 " Nay, thou flatterest me there," said the Lord Howard, 
 with an appearance of considerable modesty, " I did but 
 follow the example of that worthy and approved good 
 knight, Sir Walter Raleigh, — and but at a humble distance, as 
 all must who would tread in his valiant footsteps. But, con- 
 fess — confess thee, man ! wert thou not dreaming of another 
 armada, and wert intent on boarding the biggest ship of 
 them all, when thou didst bear down upon me with thy 
 whole broadside so courageously'?" 
 
 " Indeed, my lord, I was thinking of a different matter," 
 replied his companion. 
 
 " I doubt thee hugely," responded the other, shaking his 
 head, " for 'tis so much in thy fashion. Then wert thou 
 busying thy most fruitful imagination in search of new dis- 
 coveries, and, instead of steering into some delectable bay, 
 full of all enticing prospects, thou of a sudden didst drop thy 
 anchoi: upon my new doublet : — was it not soV 
 
 " Thou art again in the wrong, my lord," replied Sir 
 Walter, smiling ; " I was on no such voyage. I am bound 
 to her majesty, where my attendance is required. If nothing 
 better await thy pleasure, will it please thee walk with me, 
 my lord ]" 
 
 " I am infinitely gratified by thy courtesy," said Lord 
 Henry, with a most courtier-like inclination of his head, as 
 he proceeded alongside of his companion, " and will do my- 
 self that honour. The queen is expected in the presence- 
 chamber, on her return from the council ; and I was but 
 making a stroll in the meanwhile, when thou didst me the 
 
52 SIIAKSPEARE 
 
 especial favour of nearly running mc down. But what a 
 superlative taste thou hast in thy appointments," suddenly 
 exclaimed he, as he noticed the splendid attire of Sir Walter; 
 " 'tis most exquisitely fashioned, and of a very dainty 
 conceit." 
 
 «' Dost like it, my lord ?" inquired Raleigh, carelessly. 
 
 *' On mine honour, I admire it hugely," responded his 
 lordship, with a vast show of admiration. " I marvel not 
 thou shouldst be the very model of dress amongst us, for 
 thou art truly delicate in the choice of thy fabrics, and infi- 
 nitely curious in the manner in which they are to be worn. 
 I do know a certain lord who would give his ears, had he 
 thy apprehension of these things." 
 
 " Be his ears so long then, that he would get rid of them 
 for so trifling a result ?" asked his companion, with some 
 affectation of seriousness. 
 
 " In truth thou hast hit it," exclaimed the Lord Howard, 
 with a hearty laugh. *' Between ourselves, he is marvellously 
 apt to play Midas to thy Apollo." 
 
 " By what name goeth he ?" inquired Sir Walter ; " for as 
 far as my penetration sufEceth, I know of none such." 
 
 " Dost not know the Earl of Essex ?" whispered the other. 
 
 " Most assuredly do I, for a gentleman of many noble 
 qualities," replied Raleigh. 
 
 " I tell thee, out of friendship, he doth affect thee not at 
 all," said his lordship, in the same low voice. 
 
 "Then hath some villain slandered me to him," observed 
 his companion, quickly ; " for, although he hath his faults 
 — as who hath noti I do believe him to be of a right ho- 
 nourable nature." 
 
 " I have ofttimes heard him speak slightingly of thee, 
 Sir Walter — by this hand have I," continued his lordship, 
 with increased emphasis, yet still in a subdued tone. 
 
 " Thou must have mistaken his meaning, surely," re- 
 sponded the other. " I have done him no offence. But he 
 may speak slightingly of me without disparagement, my 
 good lord, for possibly I may not have done sufficient to de- 
 serve his eulogy." 
 
 " I tell thee, in friendship and in secrecy, noble Raleigh — 
 for it be dangerous to say any thing against one so high in 
 favour — that he hath disparaged thee villanously, ever since 
 thy quarrel with that ruffianly follower of his, Sir Roger 
 Williams," 
 
AND Ills FRIENDS. 53 
 
 *' Ila !" exclaimed Sir Walter, turning round quickly, and 
 Jooking his companion full in the face. 
 
 *' Thou hast done too much to please him, noble Raleigh: 
 thy gallant actions are ever before his eyes — thy well-de- 
 served praises are continually ringing in his ears. He must 
 make comparisons ; and whenever he doth compare him- 
 self with thee, either in appearance, in wisdom, or in ho- 
 nourable deeds, he findeth himself at a disadvantage ; and 
 that doth fret him hugely. Thou knowest he is proud — and 
 that proud men are vain — and that vain men are apt to un- 
 dervalue the qualities they do not themselves possess. Mar- 
 vel not, therefore, that he doth not appreciate thee according 
 to thy exceeding merits. I tell thee this, out of my infinite 
 love for thee, wishing to put thee on thy guard." 
 
 " I am much beholden to thee for thy consideration," replied 
 Sir Walter, as if musing upon what he had heard ; "and yet 
 he hath always been, to all appearance, most friendly disposed 
 towards me." 
 
 " To all appearance, I grant," added his lordship, dwelling 
 in a marked manner upon the words ; " but thou mayest 
 rely upon what I have stated. Use it as it pleaseth thee, 
 noble Raleigh ; but well convinced am I, that what I have 
 said out of affection, thou wilt employ after such a fashion 
 as may not be likely to do me an injury." 
 
 " Depend on it, thy interests shall be well cared for," re- 
 sponded Sir Walter. 
 
 The preceding conversation continued whilst the parties 
 proceeded along sundry passages and through various suites 
 of rooms magnificently furnished, and crowded with cour- 
 tiers and others strolling about or discoursing of the news 
 one with another. They at last advanced into a room ad- 
 joining the presence-chamber — a noble apartment hung 
 round with costly tapestry, and strewed with fresh rushes, 
 into which came thronging the archbishops and bishops, 
 ambassadors, nobles, counsellors of state, and others of the 
 mighty of the land. Presently it was whispered that the 
 queen was a coming, and thereupon way was made for her 
 majesty, just as the gentlemen pensioners with their gilt 
 battle-axes and richly embroidered vests were observed ap- 
 proaching. After these went certain noblemen of the queen's 
 household, knights of the garter, and the officers of her 
 council walking in their costly robes bareheaded — among 
 whom was the chancellor bearing the seals in a red silk 
 
 5« 
 
54 SHAKSrEARE 
 
 purse — having on one side of liim an officer of state carry- 
 ing tlie royal sceptre, and on the other another of the lil^c 
 rank bearing tlie sword of state with the point upwards, in 
 a scabbard of crimson velvet plentifully studded with golden 
 JieurS'de-Us. 
 
 Next came our sovereign lady Queen Elizabeth, very 
 majestic in her deportment, and although getting into the 
 decline of life, still very pleasant to look upon ; for her face 
 if it was a little wrinkled was fair; her eyes small and 
 lively ; her nose somewhat aquiline ; and her lips though 
 thin were continually adorned with a gracious smile. She 
 wore much false hair of a red hue — a colour she greatly af- 
 fected, and upon her head a small crown of a very precious 
 gold richly worked. In her ears were rare pearls with pen- 
 dants of exceeding value ; and on her bosom» which, in 
 consequence of her dress being worn low, was much ex- 
 posed, was a necklace of jewels of an excellent fine water, 
 with an oblong collar of gold and precious stones above ; 
 she was attired in white silk daintily bordered with pearls 
 remarkable for their size and beauty, over which was a 
 mantle of black silk shot with silver threads ; having a train 
 of marvellous length and of a corresponding costly material 
 borne by divers of the ladies of her court. As she ad- 
 vanced every head was uncovered, and those nearest to 
 her did kneel on one knee, some of whom who had letters 
 to deliver she raised and spoke to graciously, and as a mark 
 of particular favour to one Bohemian baron, who had come 
 to present certain credentials, she did pull off her glove and 
 gave him her right hand to kiss, all sparkling with jewelled 
 rings. 
 
 Thus she proceeded in all this beautiful magnificence, 
 winning the hearts of her dutiful subjects by her very gra- 
 cious condescension, and speaking to many foreigners with 
 the same notable courtesy in French, Italian, Spanish, or 
 Dutch, as it might happen, to their infinite wonder and de- 
 light ; followed by a beautiful throng of the ladies of her 
 court, each handsomely attired, though mostly in white, 
 with the addition of some display of jewellery : and a guard 
 of gentlemen pensioners like that which preceded them, till 
 she entered the presence-chamber to give audience to those 
 ambassadors and ministers who had come on pressing 
 business. 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 55 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 But if in living" colours and rig-lit hue 
 
 Thyself thou covet to see pictured, 
 "Who can it do more lively or more true 
 
 Than that sweet verse with nectar sprinkled ; 
 
 In which a g-racious servant pictured 
 His Cynthia, his Heaven's fairest lig-ht ? 
 
 That with his melting- sweetness ravished. 
 And with the wonder of her beames bright, 
 My senses lulled are in slumbers of delight. 
 
 Spexseh. 
 
 I marie what pleasure or felicity they have in taking- this rog-uish 
 tobacco. It's g-ood for nothing but to choke a man, and fill him full 
 of smoke and ambers ; there were four died out of one house last 
 week with taking of it, and two more the bell went for yesternight; 
 one of them they say will never scape it, he voided a bushel of soot 
 yesterday upward and downward. Bex Jossox. 
 
 The Queen of England having retired from the presence- 
 chamber, sal in her withdrawing-room on a well carved 
 chair, having cushions covered with crimson velvet, whereon 
 the royal arms were embroidered in gold ; resting her feet 
 upon a footstool of a like material — and around her were 
 the select companions of her privacy. Instead of her crown, 
 she now wore a pyramidal head-dress built of wire, lace, 
 ribands, and jewels. The chamber was of handsome pro- 
 portions, hung with costly tapestry, on which was very 
 fairly depicted the principal events in the Iliad, and besides 
 such necessary furniture, as chairs, tables, and cabinets ela- 
 borately chiselled into every kind of cunning device, the 
 panels of the richly decorated wainscot did contain full 
 length portraits of the late king's highness of glorious me- 
 mory, Henry the Eighth, with his illustrious consort, Anne 
 Boleyn, in dark ebony frames, and done to the life with all 
 the limner's skill. 
 
 The whole party seemed to be in an excellent good hu- 
 mour, especially her majesty, who led the example by laugh- 
 ing loud and long, as she sat before two open glass doors 
 that looked into a garden daintily laid out in long shady 
 walks, while leaning upon the edge of the door almost outside 
 of the room as it were, stood Sir Walter Raleigh, against 
 whom, evidently all the mirth was directed ; who, with a 
 grave countenance continually disturbed by the merriment 
 
56 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 of his associates, in which he ever and anon joined right 
 heartil)', kept smoking a long pipe, and watching the fumes 
 as he puffed them into the air. 
 
 " Ah, thou hast small cause to look after the fumes, for 
 thou wilt be in a fine fume thyself presently," said her ma- 
 jesty, and the courtiers and the ladies thereat did laugh more 
 than ever. 
 
 " Please your majesty," replied Sir Walter, taking the 
 pipe from his mouth, and laughing with the rest — " My 
 fumes are perfumes; and if ever I exhibit any other fumes 
 in your majesty's gracious presence, I should be deserving 
 of banishment, which would make me in a fume indeed." 
 
 " Thou wilt lose thy wager. Sir Walter Raleigh — which 
 will put thy pipe out, depend on't," added the queen — at 
 which witty conceit the courtiers were again irf raptures. 
 
 " My pipe will be out anon, please your majesty," re- 
 sponded Sir Walter, in the same jocose spirit. " But I shall 
 have the honour of winning a purse of gold of the most 
 bountiful sovereign that subject ever had." 
 
 " Odds bodikins, man, thou art mad sure !" exclaimed the 
 queen, good-humouredly. " How canst expect to win such 
 a mad wager — unless peradventure thou seekest to amuse 
 thyself by playing upon us some trick — which if thou dost, 
 by our halidom, thou shalt smoke for it in right earnest." 
 Thereupon the laugh went round as before, and all in audi- 
 ble whispers did commend her majesty's wit most liberally. 
 
 " Nay, I should be unworthy to breathe in so estimable a 
 presence were I to make so bold," replied Raleigh, gravely. 
 " And for fear that your majesty should misunderstand my 
 meaning, I will recall the terms of the wager — in the doing 
 of which this noble company will correct me if I say any 
 thing in ^rror. Your majesty out of your gracious con- 
 descension, hath wagered me a purse of gold against my 
 Barbary courser, that from a certain quantity of this pre- 
 cious tobacco that I have before all these honourable persons 
 weighed and put in my pipe to smoke, I shall not be able to 
 tell the exact weight of the smoke that escapes." 
 
 " Why, thou foolish gull, how canst tell the weight of any 
 thing that escapes'!" asked the queen, with a merry, mali- 
 cious glance, and to the infinite amusement of her circle. 
 »' Canst catch the smoke after it hath mingled with the air, 
 and press it into thy scales ! We did think that thou hadst 
 more wit than to undertake such a thing, and when thou 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 57 
 
 first spoke of it, fancying thou wert taking the traveller's 
 privilege, we laid this wager with thee on purpose to have a 
 laugh at thy expense. O' my faith, thy Barbary courser is as 
 good as lost ; but though it be taking but a barbarous ad- 
 vantage of thee, we must e'en accept of it." 
 
 " Please your majesty, perhaps he hath the wonderful 
 seven league boots, and meaneth quickly to overtake his 
 smoke," observed a very lovely young gentlewoman, who 
 stood by the side of the queen's chair. 
 
 " Nay, Lady Blanche Somerset," replied her majesty, join- 
 ing in the general laugh, " he must be a bird if he means to 
 come up with it, for smoke hath the property to ascend — as 
 thou seest." 
 
 " Methinks Sir Walter be nothing else but a bird," said 
 Mistress Alice, with an exceeding grave face. 
 
 " Why so, child ?" asked the queen. 
 
 " Doth not your majesty perceive he hath a very owl-like 
 look 3" added her attendant, archly ; to the manifest increase 
 of the mirth of the company, the which Sir Walter regarded 
 only as if he had more to laugh at than they. 
 
 " I do perceive something in this more than meets your 
 majesty's eye," remarked a very old courtier, with an ex- 
 quisitely solemn foolish physiognomy. 
 
 " Speak out, my Lord Bumble," cried her majesty. 
 
 " I hold it as most comfortable Christian doctrine, please 
 your majesty," said his lordship, advancing a little way on 
 his gold-headed cane — for he stooped much, " that the mouth 
 was made for the accommodation of honest victuals ; and 
 though I have lived in the reigns of your majesty's father 
 Henry the Eighth, of pious, chaste, and glorious memory, 
 and of his most excellent highness Edward the Sixth, who 
 surely hath a throne in Heaven ; and of our late illustrious 
 Queen Mary, who was of a most princely disposition, as it 
 becometh a queen to have, and which your majesty doth 
 possess to an extent far beyond that which was exhibited 
 by your majesty's predecessors, I never saw a gentleman, 
 and, to speak the exact truth, I may add, any person of any 
 degree whatsoever, who used his throat to imbibe villanous 
 smoke; and therefore I hold it as most comfortable Chris- 
 tian doctrine that the mouth was made for the accommoda- 
 tion of honest victuals. Moreover, I never heard of any one 
 with whom it was customary to make a smokejack of him- 
 self, but one, and he did do it not from liking, but from 
 necessity." 
 
58 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 " And who was he, my lord ?" inquired the queen. 
 
 ♦'Please your majesty, it was no other than the devil — • 
 from whose machinations be your majesty ever carefully 
 guarded." 
 
 " Amen, my lord," said the queen, gravely. 
 
 " Who, as the learned Dr. Thumpcushion hath stated," 
 added Lord Bumble, " continually doth vomit smoke and 
 brimstone — doubtless, much after the same fashion as yon- 
 der honourable gentleman, the captain of your majesty's 
 guard — therefore I hold it as most comfortable Christian 
 doctrine" — 
 
 " Never mind the doctrine, my lord" — here put in the 
 queen rather impatiently, while Sir Walter with much ado, 
 endeavoured to preserve a serious countenance — " Say at 
 once what thou perceivest in this matter, that our poor wits 
 are not master of." 
 
 " I will come to the point without further preamble, since 
 it be your majesty's excellent pleasure," said the old courtier, 
 " though I was going to say, that a thing which looketh so 
 unnatural and so devilish, can be practised for no other end 
 but to ensnare our souls and blind our eyes, that we may 
 be the more easily caught and thrust into the bottomless pit, 
 where it be the fashion of Satan and all his imps to smoke, 
 and to teach others to smoke, like unto the manner of yon- 
 der estimable gentleman. Sir Walter Raleigh ; therefore, I 
 hold it as most comfortable Christian doctrine, that the mouth 
 hath been made for the accommodation of honest victuals." 
 
 " We have heard that before, my lord, so if thou meanest 
 to enlighten us no further on this matter, hold thy peace, 
 and Heaven will reward thee for it." 
 
 " Yes, Heaven will reward me, certainly, as your majesty 
 hath so piously remarked," continued Lord Bumble; who, in 
 addition to other infirmities consequent on old age, was ex- 
 ceedingl}^ deaf — " I am much bound to your majesty for 
 your majesty's gracious consideration of my long service, 
 and if your majesty doth not, Heaven will reward me, cer- 
 tainly. But I must say, of all your majesty's glorious 
 family, none have I served with half the infinite satisfaction 
 I find in- attending on your majesty — though his excellent 
 highness, Henry the Eighth, whose page I was, did say that 
 I was inestimable before bedtime." 
 
 *♦ Ah, thou didst doubtless make a most admirable sleeps 
 ing potion," observed her majesty. 
 
AND HIS PRIENDS. 59 
 
 " As your majesty is pleased to say, ho did justly appre- 
 ciate my devotion," proceeded his lordship. " But I am 
 fearful I am somewhat wandering from the point." 
 
 " Thou hast found that out at last — a plague on thy 
 tediousness '." exclaimed his royal mistress, angrily ; but in 
 a low voice. 
 
 " I have already stated enough to satisfy any reasonable 
 personage that smoking is but a devilish pastime, and there- 
 fore not to be tolerated — but there is more mischief in it yet. 
 I say it be unlawful and infinitely dangerous. For let it be 
 observed that smoke is black — which is likewise the colour 
 the devil most affects — therefore to be avoided ; that the 
 accomplishment of smoking is an art — and the art being 
 black, it standeth to reason it must be a black art — and I 
 do uphold that the exercise of the black art in your majesty's 
 presence is heathenish, treacherous, and abominable, and, 
 consequently, that yonder noble gentleman, the captain of 
 your majesty's guard, ought not to be allowed, as is evi- 
 dently his intention, to bewitch your majesty and overthrow 
 the state." 
 
 " Sir Walter Raleigh, dost hear that weighty accusation?" 
 asked the queen, the frown of impatience upon her face now 
 giving w^ay to an undisguised smile: "hast thou had the 
 audacity to practise the black art before us 1 hast the pre- 
 sumption to attempt to bewitch us and overthrow the 
 state 1" 
 
 " Without attempting any defence, I will at once throw 
 myself upon your majesty's clemency, of which I have had 
 such excellent experience," replied Sir Walter — refraining 
 awhile from his pipe. "But perhaps I maybe allowed to 
 observe, that if I have attempted to bewitch your majesty, 
 I have followed the example of one who, with her admirable 
 qualities, hath bewitched all her loving subjects." 
 
 '* There ! he confesseth it, please your majesty," cried 
 the old courtier, pressing close to the queen, " therefore I do 
 hold it very comfortable Christian doctrine — " 
 
 ** Peace, fool !" cried her majesty, in a voice that not only 
 made Lord Bumble hear, but astonished him so, that it sent 
 him staggering two or three paces backwards, upon the 
 delicate toes of some of the maids of honour ; who, not 
 liking so impressive a salutation, with features expressive of 
 pain and anger, pushed him rudely out of the way, till ho 
 found himself beyond the circle, scarcely able to breathe, 
 and in a complete consternation. 
 
60 SHAKSPEAUE ^ 
 
 " I do not believe tliat he practiseth the black art," here 
 observed Mistress Alice, who was somewhat of a favourite 
 with the queen, for her lively temper, and, more than all, be- 
 cause she never seemed desirous of attracting the admira- 
 tion of the noblemen and gentlemen of the court ; " indeed 
 I will do him the justice to say that I think him no con- 
 juror." 
 
 The queen laughed, and, as matter of course, the courtiers 
 laughed also. 
 
 " Nay, be not so hard upon him, child," said her majesty, 
 " remember he will have to lose his Barbary courser, which 
 will sufficiently punish him for endeavouring to cajole the 
 Q,ueen of England." 
 
 " May it please your majesty," said Sir Walter Raleigh, 
 coming into the room with his pipe in his hand, " I have 
 smoked out the quantity of tobacco agreed upon." 
 
 " Haste thee and weigh the smoke then," replied the 
 queen with a chuckle of delight, which was echoed by those 
 around her. 
 
 " I will tell your majesty the weight of the smoke in a few 
 seconds," responded Raleigh, taking in his hand a small pair 
 of ivory scales which stood on an adjoining table. 
 
 " Thou wilt never get so much smoke into such tiny 
 balances. Sir Walter Raleigh," observed her majesty with 
 the same tone, " so thou mayest as well acknowledge that 
 the wager is ours." 
 
 " Your majesty will be pleased to observe that the weight 
 in this scale is the exact weight of the ashes left in the pipe," 
 replied Sir Walter, showing the scales, in one of w^hich he 
 had put the ashes, at an even balance. " Now, if your ma- 
 jesty will graciously remember the weight of the unburnt 
 tobacco upon which the experiment was made, by subtract- 
 ing from it the weight of the ashes, which I have here ascer- 
 tafned, the sum produced will be the exact weight of the 
 smoke." 
 
 Sir Walter Raleigh, with the scales still in his hand, wore 
 on his noble features, at this moment, an expression of very 
 evident satisfaction, as he turned round and looked down 
 upon his audience — some of whom seemed incredulous, 
 others wondering, the rest puzzled what to think ; but all 
 were waiting in silence the effect of his announcement upon 
 their sovereign, whose abler understanding perceived at 
 once the accuracy of the result, though it was so different 
 
AND HIS FRIENDg. 61 
 
 from what she had expected, and felt as if she could not 
 enough admire the simplicity of the method which so easily 
 proved what she thought had been impossible. 
 
 " The gold is thine, Sir Walter Raleigh," said she, rising 
 from her chair with a dignity none knew better how to put 
 on, as she placed a well filled purse in his hand, " and fairly 
 is it won. There have been many labourers in the fire 
 whose vast undertakings have ended in smoke; but thou 
 art the first whose smoke was ever turned into gold." 
 
 " Well, I did not think he was such a superlative master 
 of hocus pocus," exclaimed Mistress Alice, with a wonderful 
 elevation of her eyebrows. " Please your majesty, if you 
 let him go on at this profitable rate, every conjuror in your 
 dominions will hang himself in despair." 
 
 " Indeed 'tis a very pretty piece of conjuration," said Lady 
 Blanche Somerset, opening her large blue eyes in a seeming 
 astonishment; and all the rest, though they did in no way 
 understand the matter, did rival each other in ready praise 
 of Sir W~alter Raleigh — except my Lord Bumble, who kept 
 aloof, as if he had not yet recovered from his fright and 
 surprise. 
 
 Sir Walter having put away the things he was using, 
 placed his hand on his heart, and kneeling on one knee be- 
 fore her majesty, as she presented him the purse, said hum- 
 bly, " I pray your majesty to pardon me, that the deep gra- 
 titude of my heart at this moment, at receiving such muni- 
 ficent and generous conduct from my sovereign, hath taken 
 from my poor tongue all adequate expression. What Paris 
 must have felt when he first beheld the beauteous Helen, 
 I experience at witnessing such graces of behaviour — with 
 the like of which was no princess ever blessed — therefore, if 
 I make not too bold, I w^ould implore your majesty, out of 
 your right royal and princely disposition, and most admira- 
 ble wisdom, to frame, in my behalf, such excuse for my 
 silence as your majesty may think appropriate." 
 
 " Rise, Sir Walter Raleigh," said the queen, graciously 
 raising him from the ground ; for, in truth, though waxing 
 old, she did find exceeding delight in having such handsome 
 gallants at her feet. " The wager was honourably won — 
 therefore our bestowing it doth call for no gratitude. We 
 are now disposed for a stroll through yonder pleasant walks, 
 and require thy attendance." So saying, she led the way, 
 with a becoming stateliness, through the glass doors, and 
 
 ' VOL. I. 6 
 
62 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 stepped out into the garden, closely followed by her captain 
 of the guard — the rest staying behind, as they had not been 
 invited. After some little time passed in the queen's garden, 
 her majesty proceeded through divers passages, and through 
 the new gallery in the palace, till she reached St. James's 
 Park. 
 
 " Hath Master Edmund Spenser, our poet laureate, of 
 whom thou hast so oft spoke to us so fair, been well cared 
 for, since at thy request we granted him an interview?" 
 inquired her majesty, as they walked along. 
 
 " I believe that my Lord Burghley never did any thing 
 for him, or paid him his salary, please your majesty," replied 
 Sir Walter. " But I marvel not at that, seeing that my lord 
 treasurer hath not seemed in any great degree affected 
 towards the inestimable sweet delights of poetry and philo- 
 sophy ; and yet one would naturally suppose, that serving a 
 mistress v/ho hath so perfect a knowledge and so exquisite 
 a taste in those divine enjoyments — the very Minerva of our 
 thrice fortunate English land — he would have imbibed suffi- 
 cient inclination towards them as to foster such as possess 
 them most — for the true glorification of his illustrious sove- 
 reign, and to the great advancement of his own honour." 
 
 " Ah, my Lord Burghley is certainly somewhat deficient 
 in such matters ; nevertheless he is an excellent statesman 
 and a faithful servant," observed the queen. " We will, 
 however, not allow Master Spenser to think himself un- 
 esteemed of us, for we remember well he did read to us 
 divers passages from a poem called ' the Fairy Q,ueen,' of 
 which we entertain a very favourable consideration." 
 
 " Your majesty playeth ever the part of the true judge of 
 merit, and its most liberal patroness," exclaimed Raleigh, 
 " and happy are those poetic spirits who were born to 
 flourish under such excellent auspices. Surely they might 
 aptly be addressed in the words of Lucan his Pliarsalia, 
 
 Vos qiioque, qui fortes animos belloque pcrcmptos 
 Laudibus in longum, vales, diffunditis cevum, 
 Plurimu securi iudislis carniina Bardi. 
 
 It has been left for your majesty's right glorious reign to 
 produce two such unrivalled geniuses as Master Edmund 
 Spenser and Master William Shakspeare — the one as an 
 epic poet, who writeth to advance the admiration of that 
 which is chivalrous and noble, hath no peer ; the other as an 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 63 
 
 inventor of plays — the which in tliis country he may justly 
 be said to be the originator — for judgment, wit, imagination, 
 and knowledge of human nature, standeth above all in these 
 realms. Master Spenser hath fellowship with such noble 
 spirits as Komer and Virgil, and Master Shakspeare de- 
 serveth to stand on equal terms with Sophocles and Me- 
 nander." 
 
 " We take great delight in the productions of this Shaks- 
 peare as exhibited at the playhouse," replied her majesty, 
 " and do intend this afternoon to partake of the same 
 amusement." 
 
 *' It is an entertainment worthy of your majesty's enjoy- 
 ment," responded Sir Walter, " for I take it that players are 
 a sort of looking-glasses, who show humanity under all its 
 fashions, as it is made to appear by the dramatist, to whom 
 these fashions are familiar ; and they who essay to know 
 the world, its conduct and apparelling, will find no more 
 direct way than the playhouse, where Master Shakspeare 
 and some few who travel in his footsteps, are in requisition. 
 Nor are your majesty's players undeserving of laudable 
 mention, for without tuition or previous example, they have 
 raised the art from little better than absolute vagrancy, to a 
 profession honourable with the court, and in good esteem 
 with the people." 
 
 " Ah — there is one Burbage, is there not, of notable ex- 
 cellence in this artl" inquired the queen. " We have marked 
 him oft. He that playeth the crook-backed king." 
 
 " The same, please your majesty," said Raleigh, " which 
 showeth your majesty's exquisite discrimination, for he 
 beareth away the palm from them all ; being of an exceeding 
 ingenious nature, and of a very happy facility in taking upon 
 himself the characters of others — which showeth not only 
 when appearing as Richard the Third, though it be a most 
 superlative piece of acting, as your majesty hath justly con- 
 ceived — but in divers other parts in which he hath exhibited 
 a similar excellence." 
 
 Tliey walked on for some two or three minutes without 
 saying ever a word. 
 
 " Rememberest thou tliose lines of Virgil," asked her ma- 
 jesty, " beginning 
 
 Fortunate senex ! liic inter flumina nota 
 Et fontes sacros ?" 
 
64 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 " How could I fail, please your majesty," replied Sir 
 Walter, " seeing that they form one of the sweetest pieces 
 of pastoral ever written by that truly famous poet, who hath 
 for his epitaph 
 
 Mantua me gcnuit, Calabri rapuere, tenet nunc 
 Parthenope, cecini.Npascua, rura, duces." 
 
 " If our judgment do not fail, they are most happily 
 chosen," continued the queen. " How well hedescribeth the 
 cool deliciousness of that pleasant place, out of the scorching 
 heat of the sun, where the bees suck the dainty flowers, 
 whilst the cooing of the dove and the plaint of the turtle are 
 hushed, that the sojourner therein might be woed to repose." 
 
 " Indeed it is a marvellous refreshing landscape, and your 
 majesty doth show that inimitable appreciation of its ex- 
 cellence, which hath delighted me so oft when discoursing 
 upon other of the ancient writers, either Greek or Latin." 
 
 " There is another picture, which maketh a fine contrast 
 to the foregoing," said her majesty — who did mightily delight 
 to show her learning, of which she was very bountifully 
 gifted ; and more especially took great pleasure in receiving 
 the praises of so fine a scholar as the captain of the guard — 
 " it is given in Theocritus his Idyls, and commenceth — 
 
 and so goes on at considerable length." 
 
 " I remember me," replied Sir Walter, " where the poet 
 describeth the luxurious indolence of reclining on the soft 
 branches of the vine and the lentisk, whilst above, the foliage 
 of poplars and elms spreads a most grateful shade, and the 
 .murmuring stream flowing below gives coolness to the air: 
 shrill grasshoppers are chirruping pleasantly in the green 
 sward, the sweet honey-sucking bees are humming amid the 
 fragrant blossoms—Philomel pouring out her melancholy 
 song, concealed in the grove — and the turtle dove cooing 
 dulcetly, doth add a softer music to the tuneful pipe of the 
 small birds ; as, to charm the eye equally with the ear, the 
 luscious fruits of summer and autumn are heaped all about, 
 showing piles of rosy-cheeked apples and pears, and the 
 branches of the velvet plum overloaded bending to the 
 ground. In truth, 'tis a most enticing picture ; and the 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 05 
 
 reference to it is another instance of your majesty's unrivalleJ 
 familiarity with the treasures of classic song; and of that 
 miraculous fine taste which preferrcth what is most admira- 
 ble, that giveth mc such frequent cause of infinite wonder 
 and delight." 
 
 The queen did look exceeding pleased at this discourse, 
 fanning herself all the time very prettily as she walked 
 along, and regarding the noble form and handsome attire of 
 the speaker with an eye of favour ; till coming to a place 
 wliere> beneath the shade of a wide-spreading beech, just 
 where the walk, screened on the side by a thick fence of 
 hawthorn, took a sudden turn that shut them out from view, 
 a commodious seat was placed, and her majesty did rest 
 herself thereon. She then, more at leisure, did scan the 
 rich habiliments of the gallant Sir Walter Raleigh as he 
 stood before her, which seemed to give her ample satisfaction, 
 though she said never a word ; he gazing upon her all the 
 while with a wonderful show of respectful admiration, as 
 much as to say that if his tongue dared speak his thoughts, 
 his heart would make them right eloquent. 
 
 " What say est thou concerning the voyage thou wert 
 speaking of]" at last she inquired in her most gracious tone. 
 
 Starting suddenly, as if recovering from a trance, he 
 replied, " I humbly pray your majesty's pardon, for indeed 
 'tis a most notable truth that none but the eagle can gaze 
 on the sun without being dazzled." 
 
 Her majesty did infinitely relish such conceits, and her 
 eyes twinkled with an evident pleasure as she observed her 
 attendant suddenly let fall his looks to the ground, as if the 
 gazing upon her were too much for his humanity. 
 
 " But of the voyage I will speak," continued he. " May 
 it be known to your majesty, that there are certain of my 
 former companions in arms, with other valiant gentlemen, 
 who are desirous of serving your majesty, and of giving 
 free scope to their courageous spirits by doing damage 
 against the Spaniard, have clubbed with me divers large 
 sums of money, for the purpose of securing a sufTiciency of 
 well-appointed ships for an expedition against Panama, com- 
 bined with an intention of intercepting the Plate fleet, the 
 riches whereof is almost incredible. They have funds enough 
 for thirteen ships of war, of the which, in consideration that 
 I have sunk the whole of my piivate fortune in the scheme, 
 and that they do — doubtless without proper judgment — 
 
 G* 
 
66 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 acknowledge me to be the properest man amongst them for 
 seamanship, acquaintance with the Spaniards, and know- 
 ledge of the art of war, seek me for to be their admiral, 
 whicii, if it be the good pleasure of your majesty, whose 
 poor soldier I am, I am in no wise unwilling to be : but to 
 make the consequence we seek the more sure, I would hum- 
 bly pray of your majesty such assistance in men, money, 
 and ships, as would put all thought of misadventure out of 
 the question, the granting of the which I feel assured w^ould 
 tend greatly to the complete crippling of your most notorious 
 enemies, the addition of abundance of glory to your reign, 
 and the vast enrichment of your exchequer." 
 
 " Thou speakest us fair, Sir Walter Raleigh," said the 
 queen, w^ho had paid very strict attention to what he had 
 advanced ; but however partial she might be upon occasion, 
 she was rarely to be drawn away from a consideration of 
 her own advantage. " Thou speakest us fair, and were we 
 not as well acquainted with thee as we are, having recol- 
 lection of services done by thee against the boasted armada, 
 which by God's good help we utterly discomfited, and at 
 other times against those empty praters and wretched vil- 
 lains the Spaniards — and remembering also thy skill in dis- 
 covering strange lands, do put some confidence in thy as- 
 sertions ; nevertheless, it is necessary we be informed what 
 share of the spoil shall be ours in case we afford such 
 assistance as thou requirest ]" 
 
 Sir Walter, in no way disconcerted at this, as he knew 
 her majesty's disposition, answered with a very becoming 
 humility, " Far be it from me to endeavour to make a bar- 
 gain with my sovereign ; but your majesty's condescension 
 is so great, and your liberality 1 have experienced in so 
 bountiful a measure, I am emboldened to say, that according 
 to the amount of the service rendered shall your majesty 
 partake of the treasures gained." 
 
 " How many ships dost require?" asked the queen. 
 
 " As many as your majesty can generously assist us 
 with," replied Sir Walter. 
 
 " If we allow thee half a dozen, properly equipped and 
 provided for with all the munitions of war, we shall expect 
 to share one half of the spoil." 
 
 " Your majesty's generosity exceeds my expectations," 
 exclaimed Raleigh ; though, if the truth may be told, he did 
 feel a little put out at the unfairness of the bargain. 
 
AND HIS FRIEND5. 67 
 
 " Then if those conditions be accepted, we do appoint 
 thee admiral of the fleet," continued the queen, " and will 
 see that thou hast proper warrant for it, with power to 
 officer thine own ships as it pleaseth thee — reserving to 
 ourselves the right of appointing a vice-admiral, to officer 
 our ships as we think proper." 
 
 " Never had servant so bounteous a mistress :" cried 
 Sir Walter, as he knelt at the feet of the queen, seemingly 
 in a transport of gratitude. " In truth, if I am not allowed 
 to pour out the overflowings of my most grateful spirit, 
 I must be dumb ever after. Oh, where shall the most pas- 
 sionate lover that ever sought to do noble deeds in honour 
 nf her whom he served, find such absolute cause for the 
 impelling of his valour as that which moveth me ? Had 
 Arthur and all his right famous Knights of the Round Table 
 lived in these more fortunate days, to have beheld the peer- 
 less Elizabeth, what chivalrous doings would have been 
 enacted, that are lost to the world 1 But then how much 
 have 1 reason to congratulate myself that I, who am nothing 
 except in the eyes of the divine Parthenia, whom it is ray 
 happiness to serve — the very sovereign of beauty and queen 
 of my heart's best affections, should not only live in the 
 time which her existence hath made glorious, but should be 
 allowed to breathe in her presence and bask in the imperial 
 sunshine of her eyes — nay, honour never to be too highly 
 prized," continued he with more vehemence, taking her 
 hand, as he observed that the stateliness of the queen was 
 sinking before the vanity of the woman, " that out of her 
 exceeding condescension and wonderful goodness, she some- 
 times enricheth my soul with her most moving smiles, and 
 vouchsafest me the supreme happiness of pressing my lips 
 upon her ivory hand." 
 
 " Nay, Sir Walter, thou wilt devour it sure :" exclaimed 
 the queen, coyly attempting to withdraw her hand, which 
 he then impressed with a hundred eager caresses ; but she 
 was too well pleased with the action, and too much de- 
 lighted in seeing so noble a gentleman at her feet, to use 
 any great degree of force, and the hand continued to be 
 caressed as passionately as at first. 
 
 " Oh, might I but be allowed to ask one favour — one 
 sweet — one precious favour 1" said Raleigh, gazing in her 
 face with as much apparent rapture as if she had been a 
 young and blooming Hebe, instead of much nearer resem- 
 
G8 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 bllng a superannuated Diana of some sixty years or so. 
 The queen kept lier peace, looking very basliful, not know- 
 ing but something might be required of her it would be 
 scarcely proper [or her virgin modesty to grant ; when 
 Sir Walter continued — " When I am doing furious battle 
 with the enemy, I know of nothing which would so, much 
 strengthen my resolution, and afford me consolation in all 
 the delays I may meet with in my scarcely endurable ab- 
 sence from my absolute and incomparable Angelica, as a 
 lock of that golden hair, which to me seemeth brighter than 
 are the beams of Phoebus topping the eastern hills : deign 
 then to satisfy your majesty's humble and truly devoted 
 slave, and pardon the deep yet most respectful adoration 
 that doth seek so invaluable a gift." 
 
 " In very truth, Sir Waller, if thou seekest only so simple 
 a thing of us, we see no harm in its disposal," replied her 
 majesty very graciously. " Therefore set thy mind at ease. 
 Thou shalt have it by a trusty messenger before thou leavest 
 our shores," 
 
 *' Ah !" exclaimed he with a passionate look, as he pressed 
 the hand he held to his heart. " Your majesty's unexampled 
 goodness hath already made my poor heart bankrupt in 
 thanks." 
 
 '* Hush !" cried the queen, suddenly snatching away her 
 hand, and putting her finger to her lip. " Who are these that 
 dare to intrude upon our privacy?" 
 
 Just at that moment footsteps were heard approaching along 
 the walk on the other side of the fence, and voices of two 
 persons in conversation were distinguished. They spoke low, 
 but the words "Raleigh" — "Elizabeth," and "intrigue," 
 were distinctly audible. 
 
 " Now, by God's wounds, we'll not suffer this !" exclaim- 
 ed the queen, starting up with a face crimsoned with rage. 
 " Arrest them, Sir Walter Raleigh, whoever they be." 
 
 " Let me entreat of your Majesty" — 
 
 "What, are we not obeyed ?" cried the queen, quickly in- 
 terrupting him, and casting on him a look of terrible menace 
 when she observed that he hesitated to obey her command. 
 
 '* On the knees of my heart, let a faithful servant" — 
 
 "Away, traitor!" fiercely exclaimed her mnjesty to her 
 kneeling favourite, as she brushed by him ; and with haughty 
 steps strode towards the turning in the walk, which would 
 give her a view of the spot whence the sounds had proceeded ; 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 69 
 
 but behold ! when she had there arrived, no one person was 
 visible, at which she marvelled greatly. She looked among 
 the trees, but could see nothing, and much chafed tliereat, re- 
 turned to where she had left Sir Walter, as it may be said, 
 with considerable siiow of truth, trembling in his shoes at the 
 imminent peril of his situation ; but he knew the character of 
 his mistress thorouglily, and his alarm soon giving way, set 
 liim upon putting forward a stroke of policy which should re- 
 awaken all the influence he had lost ; so that, when her ma- 
 jesty came back to the place she had left, sweeping along, 
 frowning majestically, and with a mind filled with thoughts of 
 inflicting the most complete disgrace upon her captain of the 
 guard, she beheld a sight so piteous, that all the dread sove- 
 reign did give place to the sympathising woman, for there 
 knelt Sir Waller Raleigh exactly where he had before kneeled, 
 as if he was chained unto the spot, gazing upon vacancy, with 
 a look so despairing and wo-begone, that it would have melt- 
 ed a heart of adamant. To her exceeding astonishment, he 
 noticed not her appearance before him — albeit he saw her well 
 enough — but continued with a fixed and glassy gaze to stare 
 into the empty air like one utterly bereft of reason ; and being 
 moved with pity to behold so gallant a man, and one withal, 
 who was the best dressed gentleman in all her court, in so 
 sorry a plight, she presently went up to him and placed her 
 hand upon his shoulder, saying kindly, *' Sir Walter, what 
 aileth thee?" whereupon, with a long drawn sigh that seemed 
 to come from the very bottom of his heart, he lifted up his 
 eyes to her face, and then, as if struck with a sudden recollec- 
 tion, he sunk down his head, and did hide his face in his 
 palms, with a groan so hollow and sepulchral, that her ma- 
 jesty thouglit he was about to give up the ghost. 
 
 " Nay, nay, take not on so — take not on so. Sir Walter. 
 We mean thee no harm, be assured," said the queen, now in 
 a very trepidation, which assurance was comfortable enough 
 to her forlorn captain of the guard, but who, nevertheless, 
 with a most pitiful accent exclaimed — 
 
 " Let me die at your majesty's feet, for I am unworthy to 
 live, having angered so good a mistress." 
 
 " Odds piiiikins, man, think not of dying," replied the queen 
 in her most gracious lone. 
 
 " In sad truth, if I be deprived of the most delectable happi- 
 ness of gazing on such exquisite perfection as hath so oft de- 
 lighted mine eyes, I am utterly undone. I have no desire to 
 
70 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 live,'* continued he very movingly. At which the queen was 
 not a whit displeased, for, it is out of all contradiction, she 
 had vanity enough to believe that the deprivation of the be- 
 holding her charms, would produce so fatal an effect. 
 
 "Despair not — and if we find that thou still deservest our 
 esteem, thou shall have no cause for fear," said her majesty 
 in a manner she thought likely to put him into some hope. 
 "Rise, Sir Waller Raleigh, and return with us to the palace 
 — we will inquire into this matter." 
 
 "I am rooted to the earth," replied he, in the most sorrow- 
 ful voice that ever was heard. " The fear of your majesty's 
 displeasure hath fixed me to the ground. I have no power to 
 move. How much would those wretched traitors rejoice who, 
 to get me into disgrace, envying me your majesty's good opi- 
 nion, that I prize as Jason did his Medea, and which, as she 
 taught him to tame the brazen-footed bulls, and cast asleep the 
 watchful dragon that guarded the golden fleece, hath inspired 
 me to like honourable and famous deeds, — to witness the very 
 piteous strait to which I am reduced by the efl'ect of their 
 contemptible trick to slander the most excellent, chaste, and 
 beauteous princess that ever did adorn this sublunary world." 
 
 *' Dost think 'twas a trick?" inquired she earnestly. 
 
 "How could it be else, please your majesty?" replied Sir 
 Walter, albeit he knew all the time, having, from a better sense 
 of hearing, heard more than the queen, that the conversation 
 alluded to his amour with Mistress Elizabeth Throckmorton, 
 though he could not distinguish to whom the voices belonged; 
 but seeing that her majesty had fancied that it was in allusion 
 to her, was resolved to take advantage of that mistake. " Is not 
 your majesty well known, with all the superlative accomplish- 
 ments of the nine immortal daughters of Jupiter and Mnemo- 
 syne, to unite with them the exquisite truth and modesty of 
 the goddess Veritas and the Vestals — and how could those 
 villanous traducers, whoever they be, give utterance to so 
 notorious a calumny, unless it were, that I should reap dis- 
 advantage thereby; but relying on your majesty's noble quali- 
 ties and proper sense of what is due to your own dignity, I 
 feel convinced, that the paltry trick will be regarded with the 
 contempt it dolh deserve — only awaiting your majesty's par- 
 don, without which I am naught, to release me from this right 
 painful and unhappy posture." 
 
 " Rise, Sir Walter Raleigh — thy pardon is granted thee, 
 and there is our hand upon it," said the queen, in her most 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 71 
 
 gracious manner, chiving him her hand, the which he did 
 again press to his lips, but in a style more respectful than 
 before, " We'll think no more of these paltry tricksters — but 
 will show them how little we can be affected by their vil- 
 lanous yet most contemptible slanders." Then did she very 
 kindly raise him from the ground, and return to the with- 
 drawing room conversing with him all the way on matters 
 relating to his projected voyage in a way, the friendliness 
 whereof, he had rarely experienced. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 Ambition Is a vulture vile 
 
 That feedeth on the heart of pride. 
 And finds no rest when all is tried; 
 For worlds cannot confine the one. 
 The other lists and bounds hath none ; 
 And both subvert the mind, the state, 
 Procure destruction, emy, hate. 
 
 Daxiei. 
 
 Ag-ainst bad tong-ues goodness cannot defend her 
 Those be most free from faults they least will spare. 
 But prate of them whom they have scantly known. 
 Judging their humours to be fike their own. 
 
 Sir Johx Harhis^gtox. 
 
 " My Lord of Essex, you may account me your true 
 friend in this business," said a dwarfish and ill-favoured 
 person soberly clad, to a handsome and gorgeously dressed 
 gallant — having remarkable dark eyes, and a rich glossy 
 beard, very full at "the bottom — as they sat over against 
 each other in a chamber hung round with abundance of an- 
 cient armour. 
 
 " I think I may, Sir Robert Cecil," replied he, addressed 
 as the Earl of Essex, looking moodily all the time, as if there 
 was something that mightily vexed him. " She hath quar- 
 relled with me at primero, only because I did drop some- 
 thing that to her appeared to call in question her skill with 
 the cards ; and she hath spoke to me never a word since. 
 'S blood ! one had need be a beggar's dog as put up with 
 such humours." 
 
 " Nay, but the queen is a most bounteous mistress," ob- 
 served the other, in a tone of apology ; " and though at 
 
72 3HAKSPEARE 
 
 times she be easily displeased, yet is she quickly move io 
 make amends if undeserved disadvantage come of it." 
 
 " But she is too prone to such capriciousness, and I'll 
 stomach it no longer ;" exclaimed his companion, his bril- 
 liant eyes flashing very haughtily as he kept playing with 
 the jewelled pommel of his dagger. " What ! shall it be said 
 that the Lord Essex is fit for nothing better than to play the 
 pet falcon with, to be whistled to, and driven off, as it suit- 
 eth a woman's idle fantasies V 
 
 " Fie on you, my lord !" cried Cecil, with an exceeding 
 grave countenance. " I would not the queen should hear of 
 this for as much as your earldom." 
 
 " Let her — Icare not ;" said the Lord Essex, sharply. 
 
 " Now, look you there, was ever obstinate man so bent 
 on his own destruction T" exclaimed the other, " But I will 
 do you a service as far as my poor ability goeth ; for sure 
 am I, that you have no friend so earnest to advance your 
 interests as Robert Cecil, if you will only look upon him as 
 such.'* 
 
 " I thank you, heartily," replied his companion ; but in no 
 way relaxing the frown that had settled on his brows. 
 
 " Nay, I seek no thanks," rejoined Sir Robert, " for, inas- 
 much as my honoured father hath been your guardian — to 
 say naught of the noble qualities I do behold in you — have 
 I ever felt disposed to do you a service. Believe me, I would 
 do good for the good's sake. Now, my lord, in this matter, 
 be advised by me ; for though seek I in no way to push 
 forth my judgment before one that is so ripe as your own, 
 yet, as your lordship is somewhat apt to get heated at these 
 things, being touched by them more nearly than another, I, 
 having more coolness, which is the greatest help to reflec- 
 tion, may be considered better qualified to form an unbiassed 
 opinion ; therefore, I do beseech you, in all true friendship, 
 be advised of me." 
 
 " What counsel you, Sir Robert Cecil V inquired his 
 lordship. 
 
 " Mark you Sir Walter Raleigh ]" asked the other. 
 
 " What hath he to do with it V said my Lord Essex, very 
 proudly. 
 
 " Truly, he is a noble gentleman," replied his companion ; 
 " he is one that hath many commendable parts, being in 
 outward show right manly to look upon ; the which he doth 
 put to great advantage, by apparelling liimself very daintily. 
 
AND Ills FRIENDS. 73 
 
 Indeed, though I be no judge of these things, I have heard it 
 said by others, that for the fashioning of a doublet, he hath 
 not his peer, r'or mine own part, I envy him not such an 
 accomplishment, thinking that it more becometh a tailor than 
 a gentleman. Nevertheless, he is doubtless to be praised 
 for it, seeing that it showeth his great anxiety to please her 
 majesty, who, it is well known to him, taketh exceeding de- 
 h'ght in beholding such braveries ; the which he continually 
 turneth to his profit. But he hath other gifts that do the 
 more recommend him to the queen's favour ; he* hath held 
 liimself valiantly in the wars, and hath the reputation of the 
 most experienced soldier in the queen's service ; though I, 
 for one, do think there be his betters not far off. Then — so 
 it be said, though I know not how true it be, — his know- 
 ledge of seamanship is inferior to none ; which hath not only 
 enabled him to exhibit his valour against the enemy with 
 great effect ; but hath given him marvellous facilities in the 
 discovery of strange lands. Besides which, they that take 
 upon themselves to know this phcenix, do give out that he is 
 a very Solomon for wisdom, and is wonderfully quick at 
 penning a stanza." 
 
 " And what hath all this to do with the matter]" haughtily 
 inquired my Lord Essex, who, though he could not help ad- 
 miring the character of Sir Walter Raleigh, liked not to hear 
 of his praises so conspicuously. 
 
 *' Much more, my good lord, than it doth appear to you," 
 replied Cecil, in a tone and with a manner of great meaning. 
 *' Mark me ! I do not blame this valiant gentleman for wish- 
 ing to make the most of his qualifications, for it is natural 
 for a man to advance his fortunes as well as he can ; but if 
 he, standing upon the opinion some have of him, which in 
 all honesty seemeth to me strangely overrated, seek to gain 
 the first place at court, and poison the queen's ear against 
 the absent — " 
 
 At this moment my Lord of Essex, who had exhibited 
 signs of great impatience during the speech of his com- 
 panion — with his handsome countenance hugely disturbed — 
 leaped suddenly upon his feet, and exclaimed — 
 
 ** By God's wrath, if he hath slandered me, I'll make him 
 rue it." 
 
 *' Nay, I said not that, my good lord," observed the 
 crafty Cecil, with a show of sincerity. " Indeed, far be it 
 from me to give you so ill an opinion of one who, beyond 
 
 VOL. I. 7 
 
74 SIlAKSrEARE 
 
 all dispute, hath signalised himself very honourably; hut 
 your absence doth throw great temptation in his way. I 
 pray you be seated, my lord : — and there are some men — 
 such is the perversity of human nature — who think it no 
 discredit to them to build their rise by working at the fall 
 of their betters. I would you would not stand, my lord : — 
 not that I think Sir Walter Raleigh is of such kind, but 
 being the captain of the guard, in constant attendance on 
 the queen, where he hath many opportunities to drop hints 
 to your disadvantage, which in charity I do not think he 
 would : — I would say, perhaps he might, as the only way of 
 dispossessing you of that high seat in the queen's grace you 
 so worthily fill, be induced to increase her majesty's dis- 
 pleasure against you as much as lay in his power. But be 
 seated, I pray you, my lord." 
 
 " If he attempt it, were he twenty Sir Walter Raleighs, he 
 should have his deserts," said the proud noble, evidently 
 much disturbed by what he had heard ; then, smiling con- 
 temptuously, added,—" but he dare not," and quickly re- 
 sumed his seat. 
 
 " There are we of the same opinion," observed Cecil, 
 who, with an unmoved countenance, had all the time kept 
 a careful scrutiny of the features of his companion. " When 
 I consider that he is nothing better than a simple knight, 
 whilst you, my good lord, are known to be connected with 
 the powerfulest families in the kingdom, and even stand in 
 some relationship with the queen's majesty, I do conceive 
 that he hath more wit than to attempt such a mad scheme 
 as the driving you away from the court, that he might sup- 
 ply your place ; nevertheless, speaking from the love I bear 
 you, I do advise that you keep with the queen as much as 
 may be possible ; thereby shall you hinder all foolish specu- 
 lations of the kind, that may be built upon your absence, 
 and notice for yourself whether this Sir Walter Raleigh be 
 inclined to push himself forward at your expense, as some 
 say ; though, for mine own part, I do not think of his dis- 
 position so badly, having, in all my intercourse with him, 
 found him to be a gentleman of very excellent integrity. 
 Allow me also to hope, that what my zeal for you hath em- 
 boldened me to say, you will not take in ill part, assuring 
 you, that of all men living, is there not one I hold in so 
 much respect as yourself." 
 
 " I am greatly beholden to you, and will think of your ad- 
 
AND Ills FRIENDS. 75 
 
 \'icc," replied my Lord Essex, rising, with considerable as- 
 sumption of dignity, from iiis chair, as he began putting on 
 his embroidered gloves, " but where is my Lord Burghley?" 
 "My father hath not long returned from the council," said 
 his companion : " he is greatly fatigued, and hath gone to 
 rest, desiring not to be disturbed. I pray you, my good 
 lord, excuse seeing him to-day." 
 
 " In truth I have no particular business with him," said 
 his lordship, carelessly, as he arranged a costly silk cloak 
 he wore upon his shoulder ; " commend mc to him, Sir 
 Robert, and, if it be not displeasing to you, I will see you 
 again on this matter at a fitting hour." 
 
 " I shall feel proud of the honour you will do me, my good 
 lord," replied Cecil, as, with much show of respect, he fol- 
 lowed his visiter out of the door, when he had put on his 
 hat, which was of a high crown, with a precious jewel in 
 the front ; and made the serving-men, some of whom were 
 straggling about the hall, hasten to open the gates, where he 
 kept bowing to my Lord Essex very courteously, who re- 
 ceived his salutations with a haughty inclination of the head, 
 before he moved away from Exeter House, to cross to the 
 river where he had left his barge ; and then the other came 
 back, seemingly in a very thoughtful mood, to the armoury, 
 and fastened himself in. 
 
 He had sat himself down therein scarcely a minute, when 
 he was aware of a gentle tapping at the wainscot; which as 
 soon as he heard, a smile of peculiar meaning passed over 
 his grave features, and going directly to a place where hung 
 a suit of Saracen mail, he did presently open a concealed 
 door, and there entered thereat Lord Henry Howard. 
 
 "Hast any news?" asked Sir Robert, eagerly. 
 
 " Indeed have I," said my lord. 
 
 "Good news?" inquired Cecil. 
 
 " Excellent good news," replied his companion. 
 
 " From the Scottish king, eh, my good lord ?" said the 
 other, in a whisper. 
 
 " No, i' faith — it hath not tfavelled so far : 'tis English 
 news ; — news of our incomparable captain of the guard." 
 
 " Ha ! what, doth he seem inclined to take the bait, and 
 quarrel with Essex ?" inquired the other. 
 
 " I doubt it much," responded his companion ; " I moved 
 him a little, but not sufficient to ground any such hopes 
 upon." 
 
76 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 " 'Tis enough," exclaimed Cecil, " each Is jealous of the 
 other, and very small things wjII suffice to increase their 
 mutual ill will. I have had Essex here, and have just suc- 
 ceeded in stirring up his ancient animosity against Raleigh, 
 and I will take good heed it shall not go out for want of 
 fuel. See you my object V 
 
 " To ruin both in good time, I hope," said Lord Howard. 
 " True ; — but more immediately to play one against the 
 other, that we may take advantage of their disunion ; for 
 were they strict friends, they would be too strong for us ; or 
 were either to be allowed to proceed in his course without 
 molestation of a rival, he would soon have too firm a seat 
 for us to shake him out. We will set them by the ears, and 
 I doubt not we shall find our profit in it. But what news 
 have you of Raleigh?" 
 
 " What think you of a dainty intrigue nov/ with one of 
 the maids of honour?" 
 
 "No !" cried the other, incredulously. 
 "Just ripe for a discovery — a private marriage about to 
 take place, to hide the unwelcome consequences." 
 
 " To whom — where is she — what is her name ?" hastily 
 inquired Cecil, showing by the earnest expression of his 
 countenance, the interest he took in the intelligence. 
 
 " She is no other than the right modest daughter of old 
 Sir Nicholas Throckmorton." 
 
 " The fool's ruined," exclaimed Sir Robert ; " but how 
 know you this ? how can it be proved ?" 
 
 " I was informed of it by my Lady Howard of Walden," 
 said the other. " Her ladyship, as it seemeth to me, having 
 been slighted by this Raleigh, — I know not why, for truly 
 she is rather a dainty piece of goods to look upon ; — and 
 suspecting from certain observations she had made, that he 
 was the welcome lover of the virtuous Elizabeth, impelled 
 by jealousy, did conceal herself in Mistress Throckmorton's 
 chamber, and jieard the whole of the precious secret — and 
 now her indignant ladyship is burning to tell it to the 
 queen." 
 
 " She must be stopped awhile — she will spoil all else," 
 cried his companion, eagerly. " This is a delicate affair, my 
 good lord, and requireth very careful handling, or else mis- 
 chief will come of it." 
 
 " I thought it of consequence, and bade her stay the dis- 
 covery till I had seen you on the subject, which she hath 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 77 
 
 promised me. But the best of the jest is, whilst we were in 
 earnest conversation on this very matter, along one of the 
 walks in the park, the queen, who was on the other side of 
 the fence near which we stood, without our knowledge of it, 
 overheard us, as I suppose ; for we presently recognised her 
 voice very loud, calling upon Sir Walter Raleigh to arrest 
 us ; the which put us both in such a fright, that each of us 
 did suddenly run for it as if our lives depended on our speed 
 of foot. Never ran I half so fast in all my days; and as for 
 my fair cousin- — by this light, there never was such a racer. 
 It would have done your heart good to have seen us, like 
 two Spanish galeasses, cutting before the wind with all sail, 
 to get out of the reach of an English frigate. Thanks to the 
 fleetness of our heels, we escaped ; but my Lady Howard 
 liath got such a fright that she will scarce dare to open her 
 mouth before the queen for some time to come." 
 
 " So much the better," observed his companion, drily. 
 
 " I left her to calm herself at her leisure, and hastened 
 through the private gate in the garden to seek you here by 
 the secret way." 
 
 " You did right, my good lord," said Cecil, as he sat him- 
 self down, somewhat abstractedly, leaning his head npon his 
 hand. 
 
 " And now, methinks, this fine fellow, who evidently liveth 
 in the opinion that nothing is so good as that wiiich he 
 doeth, hath done for himself; and / shall not be sorry for 
 one. I like not such whippersnappers — persons of no ex- 
 traction — ignoble adventurers, who are ever thrusting them- 
 selves before their superiors, and winning from them such 
 honours as they alone were born to possess. Indeed, this 
 Raleigh is a most pestilent piece of conceit, and I mislike 
 him hugely : I shall glory in his downfall ; and I care not 
 how low his pride is humbled. Besides, when he hath been 
 put out of the way, there will be only the haughty Essex to 
 cope with ; who must easily be overthrown, for he hath not 
 the cunning of the other." 
 
 " Tush, my lord," exclaimed Cecil, with some impatience; 
 " see you not, that if Raleigh be quite removed, Essex will 
 be paramount] 'Tis a business that must be managed with 
 exceeding delicacy. Hark!" he cried, in a more subdued 
 voice, rising quickly from his seat, and opening the secret 
 door as the Lord Howard prepared to depart, " Here are 
 visiters coming. Haste and tell my Lady Howard not to 
 
 7* 
 
78 SKAKSPEARE 
 
 stir in this matter till I havo scon licr." Then closing it 
 upon his retreating associate, and unfastening the other 
 door, he was in a minute very busily employed upon some 
 writings on a table before him, when there came a knock; 
 and as soon as he had called out to them that they might 
 have admittance, there entered Sir Walter Raleigh, with a 
 very courtier-like looking gentleman, most daintily attired. 
 
 " Now 1 take this as exceeding kind of you. Sir Walter,'* 
 exclaimed Cecil, in a manner marvellously friendly, as he 
 recognised his visiters. " And my worthy brother-in-law, 
 my Lord Cobham, too ! I know not which to be thankful for 
 most — the presence of yourself or your friend. I pray you 
 be seated." 
 
 " Indeed I have but called to acquaint you that her ma- 
 jesty hath signified her consent to my expedition," observed 
 Raleigh. 
 
 " Of that I am very heartily glad, believe me," said Sir 
 Robert," shaking Sir Walter by the hand v;ith so much 
 earnestness as if he had been the best friend he had in the 
 world, "and knowing, as I do, your fitress to lead to a 
 profitable and glorious issue all such armaments, in which, 
 as far as I have heard of the best judges, is no man living 
 your superior, I do build upon it great hopes of your ad- 
 vancement in the queen's favour ; whereat none of all your 
 friends will feel more infinite delight than myself. But sit, I 
 pray you, and let us drink a bottle of Ippocras to your suc- 
 cessful voyage." 
 
 " With all my heart !" exclaimed the Lord Cobham, 
 cheerfully, as he flung himself carelessly into a chair, and 
 did put aside his hat. " Such a proposition must be welcome 
 for the sake of mine accomplished friend — but there is 
 another consideration that claimeth to be taken into account 
 —my throat is dry." 
 
 " A good consideration truly," remarked Cecil with a 
 smile, as he rang a silver bell that lay upon the table. 
 
 " Nay, if you will have wine, I must leave you two to the 
 enjoyment of it — my duties permitting me not to assist you 
 in what would otherwise be mightily agreeable to me : for I 
 must hurry to attend upon her majesty to the playhouse." 
 
 " Now sit you down," replied Sir Robert with great de- 
 monstration of friendship, preventing Sir Walter from leaving 
 the room, " it wanteth, to my certain knowledge, a good 
 half liour to the time when her majesty is like to be ready, 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 79 
 
 SO your haste nood not be so immediate — besides I take it 
 hiiffely unkind of you, seeing that while I, vviio am of so 
 notorious a gravity, for the sake of one to whose admirable 
 qualities I stand so well affected, am inclined to unbend to a 
 becoming sociality ; you, who are well known to be the most 
 absolute prince of good fellows, on the poor excuse of press 
 of time, do seek to play the churl with my weli-disposed- 
 ness." 
 
 " rfaith, Raleigh, there must surely be time for a glass or 
 two with my worthy brother-in-law," said his friend, and 
 then added very gravely, " and there is a very good reason 
 why I think so." 
 
 " Out with your reason, my good lord," exclaimed Cecil, 
 somewhat urgently, " out with your reason, if you love me, 
 for I do truly hope it will be a convincing one." 
 
 "My throat, is dry," sagely replied the Lord Cobham. 
 
 " O'my life there is no standing against so grave an argu- 
 ment," said Sir Walter, laughingly as he uncovered and did 
 sit himself down, " so 1 must e'en be indebted to your 
 courtesy." 
 
 At this instant a serving man entered, to whom orders 
 were given for the bringing of the Tppocras ; and Sir Walter 
 Raleigh noticing a peculiar suit of armour, Sir Robert Cecil 
 then did acquaint him how his father, the Lord Burghley, 
 took great delight in making a collection of offensive and 
 defensive arms, of different times and countries, the which 
 he had that room built on purpose to receive, in preference 
 to keeping them at his magnificent mansion at Theobald's, 
 or at Burghley House ; and when Sir Walter, being very 
 learned in these things, did explain to him the age and 
 nature of some, he listened with exceeding respect. In 
 truth, although Cecil was the youngest of the three, he was 
 the very craftiest man in all her majesty's dominions. His 
 appearance was in no ways prepossessing — being short of 
 stature, and with a face not at all handsome, shrewd eyes, 
 and a scanty beard ; yet by falling into the humours of the 
 great — affecting a wonderful sincerity, and seeming of a 
 serious turn, he had advanced himself to her majesty's con- 
 fidence — nor was he inclined there to stop, for ambition was 
 his ruling passion : and every thing he schemed about, had 
 for its object, without making enemies, to get as much 
 power as was possible into his hands. All this time my 
 Lord Cobham was arranging his hair, and trifling with his 
 
80 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 beard before a very polished coat of mail, that served him 
 as a mirror. 
 
 The wine now having been brought in and poured out by 
 the serving man before he left the room, into three tall Ve- 
 netian glasses, Sir Robert Cecil standing up with his glass 
 in his hand, said, with an abundance of humility. 
 
 " It ill becometh me, who am so little skilled in speech, to 
 attempt what requireth such true eloquence as the praise of 
 one who hath so distinguished himself in all manner of 
 knightly and clerk-like accomplishments, as hath my most 
 worthy and esteemed friend Sir Walter Raleigh ; yet, as he 
 knoweth full well that my deficiency proceedeth not from 
 lack of love, but from lack of wit, he will, I doubt not, out 
 of the generosity of his humour, be content with the as- 
 surance, that, as far as my humble judgment goeth, I do 
 consider him an honour to this our age and an example to 
 the world, of an able commander by land or sea, a ripe and 
 perfect scholar, and a most honourable gentleman ; and 
 knowing that he is about to command an important expe- 
 dition against the enemy, he will, I question not, also allow 
 me, from the very sincerity of my love, to wish him all that 
 infinite success to which his great merits do entitle him." 
 
 " In every word of this I gladly concur, and drink success 
 to him with all my heart," added my Lord Cobham ; and 
 both, thereupon, quickly drank off their glasses. 
 
 " Sir Robert Cecil," -replied Sir Walter in a truly dignified 
 and impressive manner, as he stood up to the table — " It 
 would be but affectation in me were I to seem indifferent to 
 applause ; for, however it may be taken, I must acknowledge, 
 that I love praise — because I love to deserve it : and if I 
 have not merited it to the extent your goodness hath be- 
 stowed, believe me it was rather from want of ability than 
 inclination: nevertheless I cannot say how much beholden 
 to you I am for your good opinion, and though as it seemeth 
 to me, the success I may have cannot come up with your 
 expectations, to prevent as much as lieth in my power your 
 judgment from being called in question, I will, in all times to 
 come, urge my poor qualifications to the utmost. I thank 
 you for your good wishes — and my lord also — and in return 
 drink to your prosperity." 
 
 " Well said !" exclaimed the Lord Cobham, as his friend 
 raised the wine to his lips, and each had reseated himself — 
 " the speech is worthy of the wine, and the wine deserveth 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 81 
 
 the speech — therefore are they capitally matched. I only 
 wish my Lord Essex had tasted some of this truly delicious 
 Ippocras before we met him just now at the liver side — 
 methinks he would have looked with a more pleasant coun- 
 tenance." 
 
 " Saw you the Lord Essex as you came ?" inquired Sir 
 Robert, carelessly. 
 
 " We met somebody very like him," replied the other, 
 " only he did regard us with an aspect so Ethiopian, I had 
 like to have taken him for a blackamoor." 
 
 " Ah, my lord is doubtless a little out of humour," ob- 
 served Cecil, significantly. " He is not in favour with the 
 queen." 
 
 " O' my word, one would have thought he had fallen out 
 with his own shadow for looking black at him, and resented 
 it by looking the like at all he met," said my Lord Cobham. 
 
 " Unfortunately, my good lord," replied the wily Cecil, 
 "there are some men of such unhappy dispositions, that they 
 cannot bear to see superior merit taking the lead of them ; 
 and must therefore regard the object with a sullen and un- 
 friendly gloominess." 
 
 " By this hand 1 thought so !" exclaimed Cobham. 
 
 *' Not that I would wish to insinuate aught against the no- 
 ble lord," continued the other, " for he is doubtless of too 
 honourable a nature to have evil intentions against those of 
 whose rising power he may be jealous ; though I have heard 
 it said that he beareth no good will to cur excellent friend, 
 but of the truth of it can I say nothing. Indeed, in justice to 
 him, I can fairly assert that he halh many estimable qualities, 
 and showelh a very princely liberality ; nevertheless, truth 
 compellclh me to say — but your glasses are empty," said hd, 
 suddenly breaking off his discourse, and pouring out the 
 wine. 
 
 " What were you about to advance, Sir Robert Cecil ?" 
 inquired Raleigh, very earnestly. " As far as 1 have had 
 means of judging of the Lord Essex, he is a brave and ho- 
 nourable gentleman, but if he haih said aught or done aught 
 against me, I should be glad to know of it." 
 
 " I pray you, excuse me there. Sir Walter," quickly re- 
 plied the other. " Believe me, I am no maker of mischief. It 
 would grieve me much to see two such notable good servants 
 of her majesty at variance ; and truly your high spirits are apt 
 enough to quarrel without being set on. The Earl of Essex 
 
82 8HAKSPEARE 
 
 hath a bountiful disposition as I have gaitl, and if he inclineth 
 at times to be envious of another's greater merit and belter 
 fortune, there be not one of us wilbout our faults, and it is but 
 Cliristian charily to look over such. How like you the 
 wine ?" 
 
 •' 'Tis of very curious flavour," responded Raleigh, yet, 
 though he answered to the purpose, he did seem as if he was 
 thinking of another matter. 
 
 " In truth, 'tis excellent good," said the Lord Cobham, 
 looking at it through the delicate glass in which it sparkled 
 beautifully, and then sipping it that the flavour might dwell 
 upon his tongue, *' very exquisite stuff, by this hand ! I know 
 not where I should meet with a better wine — indeed, with Ip- 
 pocras of such admirable quality never came I acquainted. If 
 it be not demanding too much of your courtesy, I pray you 
 tell me of what vintner might you get such brave liquor?" 
 
 " Of mine own knowledge know I not, my good lord," an- 
 swered Cecil, "yet will 1 make it my business to inquire. 
 Believe me, I am marvellously well pleased it hath taken your 
 fancy, as it showeth its excellence ; for, for a singular fine 
 taste in wine, of all men living commend me to the Lord Cob- 
 ham. Let me replenish your glass." 
 
 " I am infinitely bound to you, but, in very honesty, Sir 
 Robert, I am but an indifferent judge," said my lord with 
 some humility, yet it was evident he was well pleased with 
 the compliment. 
 
 " Your modesty maketh you undervalue yourself," replied 
 Sir Robert, " I have heard your judgment approved of beyond 
 all comparison." 
 
 " 'Tis indifferent, 'tis indifferent," responded the other, 
 carelessly. 
 
 " Nay, but I have stayed too long," exclaimed Sir Walter 
 Raleigh, jumping up of a sudden from a sort of revery, and 
 making preparations to depart. 
 
 " Not a whit," responded Cecil, " there is ample time to 
 get to Whiteliall, before the queen hath need of your attend- 
 ance. Another glass, I pray you." 
 
 " There, then 1" cried Raleigh, tossing off the wine as his 
 friend was making ready, " and now we must tarry no longer. 
 Come, my lord." 
 
 " Be advised of me, and think no more of what my foolish 
 tongue hath let out concerning the Lord E^sex," said the 
 crafty Cecil in an under tone, with a face of much concern, as 
 
AND ma FRIENDS. 83 
 
 he walked by ilie side of Sir Waller towards the gales, the 
 Lord Cobliam following at some distance. " For your own 
 sake, I would not have you quarrel. He hath great power of 
 friends, and — not that I think so ill of that honourable lord as 
 to imagine he would do aught dishonest against you — remem- 
 ber he is the late Lord Leicester's kinsman, like enough, may 
 have been his pupil — and, as it may be known to you, ' the 
 gypsy' did practise very devilish arts against those whom he 
 misliked." 
 
 " If I mistake him not, he is of a nobler spirit than to follow 
 so base an example," replied Sir Walter. 
 
 " So think L" added Cecil, quickly, " yet appearances are 
 oft deceitful, and for mine own part, I do confess to you I put 
 no great trust in him, he being so nearly allied to one who 
 was so badly disposed. Pardon my zeal, if while I counsel 
 you to keep on good terms with him, if it may be done with- 
 out injury to your honour, I do earnestly advise you to be on 
 your guard." 
 
 '• I take your caution in exceeding good part," responded 
 Raleigh, " and will not fail to bear it in mind." 
 
 *' I hope you will be worthily entertained of the players," 
 said Sir Robert Cecil, as a few minutes afterwards he stood at 
 the gates with his tw^o friends, " for though the gravity of my 
 disposition inclineth not to such amusements, I am well 
 pleased hat others should enjoy them." 
 
 In a moment after, the Lord Cobham and Sir Walter Ra-^ 
 leigh were making all haste to the water side, and the wily 
 Cecil, with his mind filled with ambitious schemes and cun- 
 ning plots, returned into the house. 
 
84 yilAKSl'EAllG 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 O kiss! which doth those ruddy g"cms impart, 
 
 Or gems, or fruits, of new found paradise ; 
 Brcatliing" all bliss, and swecfning" to the heart; 
 
 Teaching' dumb lips a nobler exercise. 
 
 O kiss ! which souls, ev'n souls, together ties 
 By links of love, and only nature's art ; 
 
 How fain would I paint thee to all men's eyes; 
 
 Or of thy gifts, at least, sluide out some part. 
 
 Sir Paii.ip Sidnev. 
 
 My lady is unkind perdie, 
 
 •' Alack, why is she so ?" 
 She loveth another better than mc, 
 
 And yet she will say no. 
 
 Sir Thomas Wyatt. 
 
 When Master Francis was left alone by his miserly uncle 
 ill the office, as hath previously been described, lie presently 
 began lo turn over the papers on the desk like one in search 
 of something; and, as if not finding what he sought, exclaim- 
 ing, " Surely, I did leave it here," he the more carefully re- 
 commenced his search ; but evidently with no better success. 
 
 " It is gone 1" cried he at last, with a countenance in which 
 surprise seemed to mingle with regret; and then, in much 
 perplexity, appeared to be considering the cause of the disap- 
 pearance of what he had searched for. 
 
 " Possibly my uncle hath taken and destroyed il, for he 
 liath a strange disinclination to my writing vers.es," said the 
 youth — and then he did seem to think again — but, as was ap- 
 parent, on another subject, for his fair brow became more 
 troubled, and his clear and most intelligent eyes liad an uneasy 
 and suspicious look. 
 
 "If she doth afl'ect that Ralph Goshawk?" he exclaimed 
 in a sort of doubting yet inquiring. tone, as if he knew not for 
 certain, yet wanted to know something he feared would not be 
 desirable to learn. Then having passed some minutes in pro- 
 found yet anxious relleciion, he suddenly started up, saying, 
 " But she is too good to be deceitful," he seemed at once to dis- 
 miss all his uncomfortable thoughts, and set himself to writing 
 out some account, with a very cheerful and delighted counte- 
 nance. At this he continued diligently, but ever and anon 
 exclaiming, " Oh, excellent Joanna !" or, with a like cnthu- 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 85 
 
 siasm, ** Dear — sweet — exquisite creature !" or, with a counte- 
 nance that did witness for his sincerity, " Oh, I do love thee 
 infinitely !" till there came a sudden turn in his humour, and 
 with a more thougluful look he put down his pen, and, folding 
 his arms, asked of himself the question — " But why doth she 
 deny me the caresses she hath so often granted ?" after which 
 he again grew uneasy (judging by the expression of his fea- 
 tures), and it did seem as if his reflections were hurrying him 
 to very unsatisfactory conclusions ; for he looked not at all 
 pleased. 
 
 •' That Ralph Goshawk seemelh villanously familiar with 
 her," said he at last, in rather a troubled voice ; and for some 
 minutes his cogitations appeared of a truly unhappy character : 
 but the anxiety depicted upon his youthful features gradually 
 began to disappear, a smile played about his delicate mouth, 
 and seizing his pen again, exclaiming emphatically, " I'll be 
 sworn she doth not countenance him !" he cheerfully resumed 
 his labour. However, he had not been long so employed, be- 
 fore he started up in exceeding surprise and perturbation, cry- 
 ing out, " Here is a sad mistake ! — alacl^, what have 1 written?" 
 and he then read aloud from the account which he held in his 
 hand — " To the drawing up a bond for the payment of 250 
 caresses of good and lawful money of our sovereign lady 
 
 Queen Joanna" " Indeed," added he, taking a knife to 
 
 scratch out the errors he had made, " it be well my uncle 
 saw not this, or he would be wraih — and with good cause." 
 He then proceeded to make the necessary erasures very care- 
 fully, only saying with great emphasis, as if wonderfully puz- 
 zled as to how such mistakes had happened, '♦ what could I 
 have been thinking about ?" 
 
 He had but just done this when he was conscious of some 
 one opening the door that led into the street, and looking round 
 observed a very old-looking boy in a leathern jerkin and 
 woollen cap, such as were worn by the common people, ad- 
 vancing into the office, desperately intent upon picking a bone. 
 He was somewhat short of stature, with a fair pair of bandy 
 legs, and his face — none of the cleanest — was fat and freckled, 
 having a noticeable huge mouth, then upon the stretch — a pug 
 nose, and eyes squinting abominably. Without saying a. 
 word, he marched towards one corner of the room, and sat 
 himself down (ui the floor, picking his bone — the which em- 
 ployment he varied by giving an occasional bite— which made 
 
 VOL. I. 8 
 
80 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 a mark that placed beyond dispute his mouth's capacity — in 
 a thick hunk of bread he drew from under his jerkin. 
 
 Master Francis, who had regarded his visiter with con- 
 siderable curiosity since his entrance, at last, seeing him with 
 the utmost effrontery munching away without seeming to care 
 for any thing else, asked him his business. 
 
 ** Be you called Master Francis?" inquired the boy, with- 
 out removing his eyes from the bone. 
 
 *' That is my name, certainly," replied the youth. 
 
 "Sureon't?" asked the other, taking a monstrous piece out 
 of the hunk of bread. 
 
 *' Of course I am," said Master Francis. 
 
 *♦ Have ye any witnesses ?" inquired the boy. 
 
 •' If you don't choose to take my word for it, you must 
 needs let it alone, and go about your business," observed the 
 youth sharply, though too much amused to be much offended. 
 
 " Rather pej)perish — do to play Hotspur," remarked his 
 companion in an under tone, as he renewed his attack upon 
 the bone. In a minute afterwards he inquired, somewhat 
 authoritatively, " Who's house be this ?" 
 
 " It is my uncle's," replied Master Francis. 
 
 " Prythee tell me his name, if he hath one." 
 
 " Gregory Vellum." 
 
 "His calling]" inquired the boy, still keeping his teeth 
 employed. 
 
 " 'Tis that of a scrivener. But get you gone quickly, or 
 you shall repent this intrusion, I promise you." 
 
 " Rather desperate — do to play Richard the Third," said 
 the boy. 
 
 " Who are you, and what seek you here?" inquired Mas- 
 ter Francis impatiently — " I have quite enough to plague 
 me without your assistance." 
 
 " Rather melancholy — do to play Hamlet," said the other, 
 stripping the bone perfectly clean, and making the bread 
 disappear rapidly. 
 
 " Nay, if you do not satisfy me for this impertinence, and 
 speedily, I will have it out of your flesh," exclaimed the 
 youth angrily. 
 
 " Rather bloody-minded — do to play Shylock," answered 
 the boy in the same quiet tone he had used from the com- 
 mencement. 
 
 " I'faith but this is unbearable !" cried Master Francis, as 
 he jumped off the stool with a thick stick in his hand be- 
 
AJ^b HIS PRiENbS. 87 
 
 longing to his uncle that lay upon the desk, and ran to his 
 visiter as with a design to give him a drubbing. " Now 
 tell me, you wortliless varlet, what you want here, or your 
 bones ehall ache for it," said he, holding the stick threaten- 
 ingly over him. 
 
 " Why, I am Gib, the call-boy," replied the boy, finishing 
 his last mouthful, and eyeing the uplifted weapon with 
 some small astonishment, " I hold the honourable ofllce of 
 call-boy to the Globe, on the Bankside, and earn me the 
 handsome sum of a whole shilling a week — and find myself 
 out on't : but such a one for the business, the players are 
 not like to find more than once in an age, I take it — and of 
 this they are in no way ignorant — for Master Burbage hath 
 said that my ' calling' did credit to me, and I did credit to 
 my calling — and, as I remember me. Master Green said he 
 could swear I was born with a caul, I was so apt at it. In 
 fact, there be none like me. It was but the other day 1 paid 
 a visit to the Rose to see their call-boy. Such a miserable 
 caitiff! the varlet's got no mouth ! unless an insignificant bit 
 of a button-hole in his face, scarce big enough to admit a 
 peascod, be called such — the natural consequence of which 
 is, that he hath not voice enough to frighten a cricket. Now 
 have I something like a mouth" — 
 
 " Something like half a dozen made into one !" said Master 
 Francis, seeing that the boy extended his jaws to a compass 
 beyond conception. 
 
 " And when I call," continued he, " my voice may be heard 
 on t'other side of the river — by those who hear well enough. 
 If it be your desire, I will favour you with a specimen of my 
 talents." 
 
 " I thank you — but 1 would much rather that you would 
 favour me with your business," replied the youth, who was 
 too much amused to put his recent threats into execution. 
 
 " But besides being call-boy," added the other, unheeding 
 what had just been said, " I am oft times required to act 
 parts — very important parts too, I promise you." 
 
 " Indeed !" cried Master Francis, regarding with a smile 
 the droll-looking object at his feet. ♦' In what part could 
 they possibly trust you upon the stage V 
 
 " I play the cock in Hamlet," replied the boy very gravely 
 — at which his companion laughed heartily — " and so much 
 to the very life, that Master Taylor saith he shall be content 
 to pick a crovj with me every time he playeth the Prince of 
 
88 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 Denmark. And Master Fletcher saith that that piece can 
 never go ofT as it ought to do unless I have the cock-ing of 
 it. Besides which I come on as one of Falstaff's regiment 
 — make a very excellent courtier in the back ground — play- 
 one of the ghosts in Richard the Third's dream — and at all 
 times make one of the army, of which there are at least 
 some score of us, scene-shifters included. In fact, I should 
 think myself greatly to be envied, were it not for one thing." 
 
 " Of what can you complain T" asked Master Francis. 
 
 " I am obliged to eat my meals where I can," replied the 
 boy ; " sometimes in Juliet's tomb — sometimes in Desdemo- 
 na's bed — sometimes in Richard the Third's tent — one day 
 near the forum at Rome— another close upon the Tower of 
 London — nay, even this very day have I been forced to 
 munch my dinner as I came along, because I was sent to 
 you in a hurry with a letter from Master Shakspeare." 
 
 " A letter from Master Shakspeare to me !" cried Master 
 Francis impatiently. " Why gave you not it to me before?" 
 
 " Because you chose not to ask for it," said the other very 
 quietly. " I was told to be sure and give it to the right per- 
 son, so I thought I'd make proper inquiries." 
 
 " Well, give it me — make haste ! make haste !" exclaimed 
 the youth. 
 
 " It's like enough to be about offering to take you into 
 the company," observed the boy, as he pulled off his cap 
 leisurely, and gave the letter out of it, making a notable 
 mark on each side with his greasy thumb and finger. " But 
 my advice be — try what you can do in the female line. 
 You be just the age and figure for it; and we want a new 
 woman marvellously. Our Juliet's obliged to shave twice 
 a day, and our Lady Macbeth, getting to be a man, hath 
 threatened to throv.'' 'jp her t^ngagement because they won't 
 allow her to let her beard grow. I can put you up to a 
 good deal about making your points and dying gracefully, 
 and walking in woman's fashion — for I've seen it done 
 scores of times, I promise you— so don't lose heart on that 
 account." 
 
 As Master Francis began reading the note, the call-boy 
 got upon his legs, shook tlie crumbs from his jerkin, and 
 sidled up to him. 
 
 " I pray you tell me what terms offer they?" asked he, 
 trying to look over at the note, which he could not very 
 well reach to do. 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 89 
 
 " No terms at all," replied the other, in too good humour 
 to be offended at the freedom his companion was taking. 
 
 " Ah, you see it be not every one that can get a whole 
 shilling a week and find himself out on't," observed the boy 
 with an air of much importance. " But talent will always 
 get its price." 
 
 " I am glad to find that yours is so well appreciated," 
 remarked Master Francis laughingly. " However, not to 
 baulk your inquisitiveness, which is somewhat of the great- 
 est, I must confess, this note is only to make an appoint- 
 ment at the playhouse to meet Master Shakspeare." 
 
 " Doubtless you will then be engaged," said the call-boy. 
 " If you find any difficulty in getting admittance — for Will 
 Peppercorn, who keeps ilie door, is not so social to strangers 
 as am I — just ask you for Gib tiie call-boy, though some do 
 call me Slentor, because, as I heard, he was a famous call-boy 
 in ancient times ; and say you are a friend of mine, you will 
 find your entrances and your exits as easy as throwing at 
 cocks at Shrovetide." 
 
 " I thank you, Gib," replied Master Francis, scarcely able 
 to keep a serious countenance, for the look of the boy was so 
 comical, with IjIs queer eyes and enormous mouth, and im- 
 portant swagger, that he had a great ado to refrain from laugh- 
 ing in his face. 
 
 " This seemelh a snuggish place — how much may you get 
 a week here?" inquired the boy very earnestly, after a careful 
 scrutiny of the office. 
 
 " That question I do not think it necessary to answer," re- 
 sponded the other as gravely as he could. 
 
 " Well — those that have gifts should make the best use of 
 them," drily observed Gib. " But don't despair — who knows 
 but ih^i you may be a call-boy some of these days — only I'm 
 afraid you hav'nt got the very properesl sort of mouth." 
 
 " Tliat I regret not, believe me," responded Master Francis 
 with a smile. " And now I should earnestly advise you to 
 make the best of your way back to Master Shakspeare, and 
 tell him I will not fail of the appointment." 
 
 " Ha!" replied Gib, turning on his heel and slowly proceed- 
 ing to the door, tossing up the bone, with which he had not 
 yet parted. "Now, remember you my advice — do the. wo-- 
 men, and you cannot fail of getting on; and if you want to 
 know how to look modest and like a dainty young gentlewo- 
 man, come you to me, I can instruct you in all that sort of 
 
 8* 
 
90 SIIAKSPEARE 
 
 thing, for I've gnt a monstrous denl of experience that woy. 
 Indeed, Master Barbage did say that I ??hould get advanced 
 into the woman's parts when I was old enough, and methinks 
 it is high lime I should attempt something of the kind. It's 
 a genteel part of the profession, according to my thinking. 
 Master Condell did tell me he thovight I could play Ophelia 
 ravishingly." 
 
 " Indeed !" exclaimed his companion, unable to refrain 
 from lauphinjT at the idea. 
 
 •' For my own part, being of an exquisite melancholy hu- 
 mour, I doubt not I should shine in tragedy," continued the 
 call-boy, taking a look at Master Francis so solemnly ludi- 
 crous that it instantly did set him into a roar. " Rather 
 humorous !" cried the boy as he opened tfie door, " do to 
 play tlie fool:" and thereupon his mouth did spread out into 
 a grin so far beyond all human conceit, that the other laughed 
 till the tears ran out of his eyes. "Well," continued Gib, 
 " though I wish you a bountiful share of good luck, in honest 
 truth I say it — expect not to get so handsome a wage as a 
 whole shilling a week, and find yourself out on't." And 
 thereat he strutted out of the door, with such a villanous 
 squint that it would have tickled the fancy of one at the point 
 of death. 
 
 IMaster Francis, much amused at the oddity of the boy and 
 his exceeding assurance, returned to his seat in monstrous 
 good humour, to finish his account ; but he liad scarcely 
 taken pen in hand, when, on hearing a noise, he turned round, 
 and lo ! there was. Gib's bandy legs, again marching in. 
 
 " Slick to the women, I pray you, and you shall find your 
 advantage in it," exclaimed he, with a very earnest serious- 
 ness, and immediately disappeared. 
 
 •' Away with you !" cried Master Francis, scarcely know- 
 ing whether lo laugh or to be angry. Then he applied him- 
 self to his task, and did finish it without further interruption. 
 Presently his uncle was heard stumping along the passage 
 with his stick, and in a few seconds he entered, looking very 
 crabbed and savage. 
 
 " Hast done that account?" inquired he siiarply. 
 
 *' Yes, uncle," replied the youth. 
 
 " Then take it to Master Ephraim Venture, the merchant 
 in Thames Street, nigh unto Castle Baynard," said the old 
 man ; '* and be sure to press for payment — for it be said that 
 he hath had losses, therefore must he be looked after. 'Sblood, 
 
AND ins FRIENDS. 91 
 
 an' he do not pay quickly Til make him smart for't ! Tell 
 liim I must and will have my money." 
 
 "I will, uncle," responded the nephew, preparing with 
 evident alacrity to start on his errand. 
 
 " And mind that thou tarry not," added he, *• for I have bu- 
 siness for thee at home." 
 
 "1 will use all convenient speed," replied Master Franci.«, 
 and in a minute after he was making the best of his way out 
 of St. Mary Axe, right glad to get from the house, and as well 
 pleased that the merchant's in Thames Street lay in the very 
 direction to which his inclination most tended. On lie pro- 
 ceeded in his way, taking no heed of the sober citizens speed- 
 ing on their business, or even of their daughters, proud of a 
 new kirtle or a dainty coif, showing off their pretty coquetries 
 to the gallants that came strolling along in their best braveries, 
 mayhap carelessly humming a tune, or whispering a well-de- 
 vised compliment as they passed, at the which none were very 
 hugely offended I warrant you, for their brilliant eyes sparkled 
 the more; and some smiled with exceeding pleasantness, and 
 a few did take sly peeps over their shoulder to notice if they 
 were followed; but giving himself up to the inconstant hu- 
 mour of his thoughts — now hoping, now despairing — now 
 filled with the passion of love — now moved with the conceit 
 of jealousy, he regarded nothing around him till he entered 
 into Eastcheap. Then he was stirred up into a very proper 
 consciousness of where lie was — his heart began to beat most 
 dislurbedly — the paleness of his cheek made way for a flush 
 of crimson, and his eye had gained a lustrousness that gave 
 imto his gentle countenance a truly eloquent expression. 
 
 Passing by shops of divers kinds, and even taking no heed 
 of the barber chirurgeon's over the way, where his true 
 friend, Harry Daring, was apprenticed, he at last made for one 
 that was a mercer's, where the owner, a somewhat lusty old 
 man with a lively roguish look, and an excellent jolly face, 
 stood recommending to a customer sundry ells of three-piled 
 velvet that lay before him, whom, seeing engaged, he stopped 
 not to gossip with, but went on, as if it was his wont, to a 
 little room at the back, where finding no one, he opened a 
 door, and proceeded up a little flight of stairs close upon it, 
 at the top of which there was another door, whereat, with his 
 heart in a greater flutter than ever, he did knock gently with 
 his knuckles ; and hearing a voice, the soft tones of which he 
 recognised with a most infinite delight, he uncovered and en- 
 tered the room. 
 
92 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 The chamber was rather low, and of a no great size, 
 having a wainscot and floor of oak, with rafters very solid, 
 running across the ceiling, and a window stretching out 
 into the street. The furniture was substantial rather than 
 elegant — such as might be seen in the houses of the better 
 sort of citizens — yet was there a considerable show of taste 
 in many things, which spoke as plain as could any words, 
 that a woman's graceful hand had had the ordering of them. 
 There was no one therein but Joanna, who sat, or rather re- 
 clined, in an ample chair with arms, supporting her head by 
 her hand ; she wore an elegant dress of watchet colour, 
 laced down the front, with a girdle of silver baudekin, at the 
 which was a little pocket on one side. Her silken hair was 
 artfully disposed, falling in a love-lock on her beautiful shoul- 
 der, and bound at the top in a network caul of gold. Her 
 well-shaped feet, were cased in a pair of dainty white stock- 
 ings and velvet slippers, projecting out of her petticoat, 
 wiih the heel of one resting upon the instep of the other, to 
 the manifest disclosure of a most exquisite ankle. In this 
 position, the well-defined outline of the ripened beauties of 
 her figure were seen to great advantage, especially as the 
 low, tight boddice, then in fashion, did excellently well dis- 
 play the full bust, and truly admirable neck and shoulder, 
 the delicateness whereof I have not the cunning to describe, 
 therefore will I leave it to the imagination of the courteous 
 reader. She had evidently been a thinking ; but whether 
 pleasurable or otherwise, I have no means of knowing, ex- 
 cept this be taken as a sign, that when Master Francis first 
 beheld her at that time, there was a severity in the loveliness 
 of her countenance, tempered with a very touching melan- 
 choly.. 
 
 *» Joanna !" exclaimed the youth, hastening delightedly to 
 her side, " I am here at thy desire, and truly to mine own 
 most infinite gratification. But what aileth thee?" he in- 
 quired suddenly, in a tone of aflTectionate interest, as he 
 noticed that the pleasurableness expressed in his own fea- 
 tures was not reflected in hers. At the question, she looked 
 at him as with a careful scrutiny of his pale and thoughtful 
 brow, but said nevfer a word. 
 
 " Have I angered thee 1" he asked, in a more subdued 
 voice ; and his gaze became as melancholy as her own. 
 " Believe me, I meant it not In truth, I would rather die 
 than anger thee." 
 
AND HI3 FRIENDS. 93 
 
 *♦ No !" replied she to his question, with impressive tones 
 and eloquent emphasis. " Thou hast not angered me." And 
 then, the severity of her look much abating, added, with 
 great stress on the words, " Thou hast never angered me.*' 
 
 " Indeed I hope not," said Master Francis earnestly. " But 
 who or what hath made thee look so unhappy "!" 
 
 " Thou hast," she answered. 
 
 •* I !" exclaimed the youth with extreme surprise and 
 sorrow. " What a wretch am I, to have done it ! and yet I 
 know not how it could be ; for gratitude for thy never-tiring 
 kindness, doth prompt me at all times to do the very re- 
 verse. Tell me how it was, and instantly will I seek to un- 
 do the unsought-for mischief." 
 
 Joanna silently took from the little pocket at her girdle a 
 paper that she gave into his hands — the v/hich he instantly 
 opened, designing to read it, as such seemed to him to be her 
 wish ; but to his exceeding astonishment he discovered it to 
 be the very poem he had written, and lost from off the desk 
 in his uncle's office. He stood like one that is detected in 
 wrong-doing, unable to say aught for himself; yet, though 
 he saw that his expostulation had done him mischief, knew 
 he not what offence there could be in it. 
 
 " What made thee think I had ceased to love thee?" asked 
 she, in a voice by no means angry, after she had watched 
 for a sufficient time his downcast eyes and modest confu- 
 sion of countenance, as he stood before her. 
 
 " It seemed to me that thou dost regard another," replied 
 INIaster Francis, tremulously. 
 
 " Whom V inquired Joanna, with more earnestness, fix- 
 ing on him a somewhat anxious and penetrating look. 
 
 "Ralph Goshavr'k," answeieJ lie. 
 
 She remained silent for some few seconds, but a faint 
 smile might have been observed about the corners of her 
 beautiful mouth. 
 
 *' In truth, I marvel thou couldst have entertained such 
 a conception," said she at last. 
 
 "Dost thou not love him, indeed 1" asked the youth, al- 
 most incredulously, as it were. 
 
 "Indeed I love him not," she replied. 
 
 " And dost regard me as kindly as thou Vert used 1" he 
 inquired more urgently, raising his eloquent eyes to her 
 own. 
 
 " Methinks quite as kindly," answered she. 
 
94 SilAksPEAUE 
 
 " Dear, dear Joanna !" exclaimed Master Francis, as ha 
 kneeled on one knee, and taking in his the disengaf^ed hand 
 that lay upon her lap, bowed his head till his lips rested 
 thereon, and in that position remained. The melancholy ex- 
 pression of Joanna's countenance still was altered not ; but 
 there was now a tender interest in her dark eyes as she gazed 
 upon her youthful lover. Presently she raised herself in 
 her position, and took his hand in both hers very affec- 
 tionately. 
 
 " Yet am I much hurt that thou shouldst doubt me," said 
 she; "I thought I had proved beyond question, how much I 
 regarded thee above all others — perhaps with more careless- 
 ness than did become me. But knowing the innocency of 
 mine intentions, and trusting in the modesty of thy disposi- 
 tion, I was content. Alack ! 'tis a sad world ! we cannot 
 do right when we wish ; and when we are satisfied of our 
 conduct, there cometh some malicious tongue to slander our 
 doings. None know the wickedness that exists — that poi- 
 sons the air we breathe with a perpetual pestilence, and 
 obliges us to do by craft what we cannot do by honesty. I 
 have to endure many things that make me unhappy — very 
 unhappy — I needed not such verses as thou hast written." 
 
 As she concluded the sentence,. he raised his head, and saw 
 that she was wiping with her handkerchief a tear that did 
 tremble on her eyelid. 
 
 "Indeed, they shall trouble thee no more," cried the youth, 
 as he disengaged his hand, and tore the paper into number- 
 less small fragments ; *' and very heartily am I vexed that I 
 should have given thee a moment's uneasiness. For what 
 wonderful goodness hast thou exhibited towards me ; — the 
 like of which surely was never known ! Truly I must have 
 behaved most unnaturally to have vexed thee in this manner; 
 and I'll never forgive myself, if thou wilt not forgive me." 
 And then, most sorrowful in heart, he hid his face upon her 
 lap. 
 
 " I have forgiven thee," said she, affectionately twining her 
 fingers in the light curls of his chestnut hair ; " but take not 
 such fancies into thy head again ; be content with the assur- 
 ances thou art continually receiving of how much I regard 
 thee, and tiiiiik nothing of whatevef else may seem of a dif- 
 ferent tendency. Nothing can be so sure as that, whilst thou 
 art wortliy, tliou wilt be beloved." Master Francis was too 
 much enraptured to reply ; and in this position they remained 
 
AND HIS FRftNDS. 95 
 
 for some minutes — she bending over him, with her dark hazel 
 eyes softened into tenderness ; and he impressed so deeply 
 with the subduing spirit of the moment, tliat he would not, or 
 cared not to move from where lie was, 
 
 Joanna having at last taken away her hands to enclasp his, 
 he raised his head, and looking into her face, very fondly, yet 
 with a touch of regret, said, — " But why hast thou denied me 
 those most sweet caresses thou didst use to grant?" 
 
 •* Truly I am not in the mood on all occasions," replied 
 she, in rather a sad tone of voice ; " there are remembrances 
 I cannot obliterate when I would, that come upon me at times, 
 and make me regardless of all except the discomfort they . 
 bring. It would be but a mockery to caress thee under such 
 circumstances; and indeed, though I may often seem gay- 
 hearted — forgetting for a time the unpleasantness of the past, 
 in the enjoyments of the present;- — yet, when awakened to 
 recollection — which is no difficult matter, — there lives not a 
 creature on this earth so truly wretched as am I. Be content 
 then with the pleasure I can grant when I may be in the hu- 
 mour, and seek not, when the time is not auspicious, to in- 
 crease my disquietude by ill-timed importunity." 
 
 " I will not," replied he ; " but wilt thou do so ever again ?" 
 he asked, as if almost afraid to put the question. 
 
 *'I will," she answered, with apparent unaffectedness. 
 
 " Dear Joanna, but wilt thou do so soon .^" he inquired, 
 more impressively. 
 
 "I will," said she. 
 
 " Exquisite Joanna ! but wilt thou do so now .^'* he asked, 
 with still greater emphasis. 
 
 It would be unveiling the sweet mysteries of affection, to 
 describe the endearments that blessed the reconciliation of 
 these devoted lovers. There throbbeth not a heart in the 
 wide world, that hath been touched by the generous influence 
 of triie love, but hath played its part in the same drama, and 
 can, from the fond prompting of the memory, imagine the en- 
 trancing scene more vividly than could I describe the acting of 
 it. Methinks, too, that the developcment of those delicious 
 influences that make humanity angelic, should be kept sacred 
 from the vulgar eye ; else might the selfish and the profligate 
 find matter in it for idle speculation, or licentious conjecture. 
 Pity it is that there should be any in whom the better part of 
 their natures hath vanished, like the sap of a decaying tree, 
 and vanity making them believe all to be like unto themselves. 
 
96 SI^KSPEARE 
 
 in the green freshness of fairer plants, they cnn see naught 
 but their own hollowness and worthlessness. I know that, 
 by the generous and true-hearted, what I should relate would 
 be rightly interpreted ; but no writer is so fortunate as to meet 
 with all readers of such a sort. 
 
 The affection which existed betwixt Joanna and Master 
 Francis, had in it this peculiar feature, that the former had so 
 much the seniority of her lover, it invested her with an evi- 
 dent controlling power over him. She appeared as though 
 uniting in her behaviour the authority of a careful guardian 
 with the fondness of a devoted woman, and sometimes it ap- 
 peared as if some strange interest bound her to the youth, of 
 so deep a tenderness, as was marvellously like unto that of a 
 parent. In truth, il was a strange thing lo behold a creature 
 so exquisitely fashioned, having much ihe outward appear- 
 ance of one existing only for, and in the enjoyment of the 
 most passionate worship of the opposite sex, seeming, with a 
 delicacy the purest nature could never have excelled, so virtu- 
 ously to conduct herself, as proved all the sterling excellence 
 of womanhood was manifest in her actions ; whilst the ena- 
 moured youth that knelt before her, dumb with excess of 
 modesty, and overpowered with the intensity of his admi- 
 ration, regarded her with such an enthusiasm in his delighted 
 gaze, tempered with so profound a respect, as plainly showed 
 he loved with the purity of heart, and earnestness of purpose, 
 which belong only to that age and disposition that exist in the 
 enjoyment of a perfect innocency. 
 
 " Dear heart," exclaimed he, after a long yet very eloquent 
 silence, "it seemeth to me exceeding strange that when I sit 
 me down to write of thee, all admirable thoughts, like the bees 
 hastening to the sweet blossoms, come crowding to be penned ; 
 but when with my lips I would essay to breathe into thine ear 
 aught of what rare pleasure I experience from the continual 
 influence of thy unbounded goodness, such words as I have 
 at command are so little to the purpose, that I am forced to a 
 seeming ungrateful silence ; yet am I most gratefully bound 
 to thee. Thou art my guardian angel, and in earnest truth, 
 most exquisite Joanna, my heart ever yearneth to pour out its 
 spirit in thanksgiving for thy unceasing kindness." 
 
 He received no reply, unless it was conveyed in a more 
 evident pressure of the hands she held clasped in her own, or 
 in a softer and more thrilling glance from the clear hazel of 
 her lustrous eyes, lie continued-— 
 
AND Ills FRIENDS. 97 
 
 •« My benefactress ! my" — 
 
 •♦ Hush !" she exclaimed, quickly, interrupting him. " Have 
 I not told thee never to allude to what I have done for thy 
 good ]" 
 
 He remained silent, as if conscious he had committed an 
 error. 
 
 " And now, prythee, tell me how hast thou sped with thy 
 tragedy ]" she inquired. 
 
 *' It will not do, dear Joanna," he replied. 
 
 " Despair not — thou wilt do belter anon," she said, in an 
 encouraging tone. 
 
 " But methinks I have found a friend," added Master 
 Francis, more cheerfully. 
 
 " I am truly glad on't," said she. 
 
 " Hast heard of Master Shakspeare — whose plays so won- 
 derfully do delight the town ]" inquired the youth. 
 
 " Indeed have I," she replied. " My father hath often 
 promised to take me to see the players do a play of his, but 
 he liketh the sports of the Bear Garden best, therefore I have 
 not been." 
 
 " I should like to take thee, mightily," observed he. " For 
 it is most delectable entertainment. But I must tell thee — 
 Master Shakspeare, to whom I was directed to send my tra- 
 gedy, though he did tell me very candidly of its faults, ex- 
 pressed himself right glad to do me a service ; and as earn- 
 est of his sincerity, he hath but now sent for me to the 
 playhouse." 
 
 " Speed thee, then, Francis," she exclaimed, rising from 
 her seat and raising him from the ground. " It be not right 
 of thee to lose the precious time when such a friend desireth 
 to serve thee. But here," she added, as she took from 
 around her neck the very gold chain she did receive of old 
 Gregory Vellum, and threw it over her youthful lover. 
 " Wear that for my sake— but let not thine imcle see it, or 
 mayhap he may think thou hadst it not honestly, and ques- 
 tion thee churlishly upon it ; and I do not wish thee to say 
 I gav^e it thee, nor do desire that thou shouldst say what is 
 not true. And let me again request of thee in true kind- 
 ness, that when thou wantest aught that his miserly nature 
 doth refuse; ask it of me, and thou shalt have it straight." 
 
 " Nay, dear Joanna," he replied, looking somewhat dis- 
 tressed. " Thou hast lavished upon me so many gifts al- 
 ready, that I urn ashamed to accept of this, or to ask of thee 
 
 VOL. I. U 
 
98 SIIAKSPEAIIE 
 
 any thing; and, If thou wilt not be ofTended, I would sooner 
 that thou shouldst continue to wear it. In truth, it is too 
 good a thing for me to have." 
 
 " That it cannot be," answered she, regarding him with a 
 more perceptible fondness. " I -woald have thee wear it 
 beneath thy doublet, and affix it to the miniature of thy 
 mother. Now, no excuses ! I will not hear of them. And 
 be sure let me know when thou dost lack any thing." 
 
 " Oh, thou art too kind !" exclaimed the youth, with all 
 the expression that love and gratitude could give. 
 
 " Now haste thee to Master Shakspeare," said Joanna. 
 
 " Dare I ask of thee once again, to let me taste of those 
 honey-sweet delights thou didst bestow on me a brief while 
 since 1" inquired he, looking into her eyes, as if his own 
 were drawn thereunto by some marvellous magic. How 
 she answered, methinks it be scarcely necessary to state, 
 when it cometh to be known, that in the next moment Mas- 
 ter Francis was speeding on his uncle's errand with a heart 
 as light as if he had not a cafe in the world. 
 
 Having delivered the account — more courteously than his 
 miserly kinsman designed, he posted off to the playhouse on 
 the Bankside, sometimes imagining what Master Shakspeare 
 did want with him, and thereupon building many monstrous 
 fine castles in the air, and then turning his thoughts to the 
 contemplation of the exquisite excellences of Joanna, and 
 feeding his mind with dreams of happiness she was to realise 
 at some not far distant day. In this mood he arrived at the 
 playhouse, which he recognised by the flag flying at the top. 
 It was thronged with people — some waiting to see the queen, 
 and others the play ; round about were boys and serving 
 men holding horses, and here and there might be seen cos- 
 tardmongers and others bawling out fruit. Making for a 
 little door at which there was no crowd, he was entering 
 thereat, when he was stopped by a surly-looking fellow, with 
 a wooden leg and a red nose. 
 
 " Well, how now ! what dost want 1" he cried, in a gruff 
 voice. 
 
 " I am come to see Master Shakspeare," replied the youth. 
 
 " Won't do," said the other, sharply, as he took up a po- 
 sition before him, as if to stop his proceeding further, and 
 then scrutinised his appearance very closely. " The players 
 be all a dressing, and can't be disturbed for every jacka- 
 napes that wants to see the play for nothing." 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 99 
 
 " But I have business with liim," added Master Francis. 
 
 " Won't do," repeated the fellow, stumping closer to him, 
 and looking more forbiddingly. " Dost thou not know that 
 this be no hour for him to see runaway apprentices who 
 seek to be players 1 So get thee gone." 
 
 " But he hath sent for me, and I 7nust see him," said the 
 youth, more determinedly. 
 
 " Won't do, I tell thee !" shouted the man. " Nay, if 
 thou dost not take thyself ofif, I'll set the dog on thee. Here, 
 Pincher ! Pincher ! Pincher !" And immediately a savage- 
 looking, wiry-haired terrier came from under a chair, bark- 
 ing and snaping at his heels. Master Francis, seeing that 
 there was no remedy, was just about to turn back with a 
 heavy heart, when, who should come into the place but the 
 same wide-mouthed, squinting-eyed boy that had brought 
 him the letter, bearing a tankard in his hand, as if he had 
 come from a neighbouring tavern. Gib seemed to under- 
 stand the state of the case immediately. 
 
 " How now, Will Peppercorn !" he cried, in a voice that 
 showed that the name of Stentor was not ill-applied. " This 
 good youth is he whom I told thee Master Shakspeare did 
 so much desire to see." 
 
 " How should I know that 3" said the fellow, sulkily ; then 
 drawing off his dog, returned to his chair. 
 
 " Follow me, and I will show you the way with a very 
 absolute good will," added the call-boy ; but before Master 
 Francis had got but a few yards he turned round and in- 
 quired, " Why said you not you were my friend ? He would 
 not have dared serve thee so. But we must needs learn 
 ere we get knowledge — so come on, and carefully." Master 
 Francis found himself in a very dark place in which he could 
 see neither to the right, nor to the left, nor yet straight on ; 
 and was directed solely by the voice of his companion, which 
 ceased not a moment. 
 
 " Stick to the women, I pray you," he continued, " and 
 you must needs be made a man of soon : but mind the 
 thunder there !" 
 
 At this injunction the youth was sadly puzzled, 
 
 " If you have not the proper modesty, I will soon put you 
 in the way of getting it — as I have said ; therefore hesitate 
 not ; for such another opportunity is not like to happen. 
 Here, mind you your footing, or you cannot help falling 
 U])on the rain." 
 
100 SIIAKSPEARE 
 
 Master Francis looked about, cxpoctinsr to find a pool of 
 water near him : but nothing of the kind did he see. 
 
 " Now turn you sharp round the walls of Athens, and 
 keep you on the left of Prospero's cell," said the other. 
 
 Unable quite to comprehend his meaninof, the youth made 
 a turn as he was desired, found his feet caught — laid hold of 
 he knew not what, that his elbow struck against, this gave 
 way, and down he came on his face upon something that 
 seemed like a heap of canvass — bringing over him a pile of 
 the same kind. 
 
 " Tliere now !" exclaimed the call-boy, in a tone of appa- 
 rent vexation. " You have tumbled smack upon the sea, 
 and brought down upon you the palace of Antioch." Fright- 
 ful as this announcement might seem, it did not mean any 
 great mischief after all. 
 
 Master Francis soon extricated himself from the fallen 
 scenery, and without any more mishaps was conducted by 
 his guide to the chamber in which Master Shakspeare was 
 waiting for him. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Man's life's a tragedy ; his mother's womb 
 From which lie enters is his tiring room; 
 This spacious earth the theatre, and the stage 
 That country which he lives in ; Passions, Rage, 
 Folly, and Vice are actors : the first cry 
 The prologue to th' ensuing tragedy. 
 The former act consisteth in dumb shows ; 
 The second, he to moi-e perfection grows ; 
 1' the third he is a man, and doth begin 
 To mature vice, and act the deeds of sin ; 
 1' the fourth declines : i' the fifth diseases clog 
 And trouble him: tiien Death's his epilogue. 
 
 Sia Walter Raliigh. 
 
 All the players were assembled in a large room of rather 
 mean appearance, having little furniture, save settles, some 
 few chairs, an old table, on which lay sundry tankards and 
 drinking vessels, and a long mirror hung up against the 
 wainscot. The players were dressed in character for the 
 play of Henry the Fourth, the second part; and divers 
 young noblemen and gentlemen were amongst them. Some 
 
AND TIIS FKIENDS. 101 
 
 \STrc sitting — some standing in groups, and others walking 
 lip and down ; going out and coming in at intervals ; whilst 
 a voice, evidently from its loudness, belonging to the " Stcn- 
 tor" of the company, kept bawling from without as the play 
 proceeded — " Falstaff, on !" or " Shallow and Silence, on !" 
 or, "the Prince, on!" and tlien, others knowing that their 
 turn would be next, got themselves ready to appear upon 
 the stage. A merrier set there seemed not in all her ma- 
 jesty's dominions. It was evident that care had naught to 
 do with such choice spirits — for the quick jest, and the 
 harmless jibe went round, and the loud laughter followed 
 with them all — nor did there seem to be any distinction of 
 rank amongst them and their associates ; or if such might 
 be, it was without doubt in favour of the players, for they 
 appeared wonderfully independent and careless of what 
 they said. 
 
 Master Shakspeare stood in one corner of the room point- 
 ing out to Master Francis the different persons around 
 them; and occasionally returning {he friendly salutation of 
 the young gallants who canie thronging in, and looked as if 
 they were mightily well pleased to have speech of him : but 
 none could have received more satisfaction than did the 
 modest youth at his side, for to him it was quite a new 
 world. He, who had seen nothing of society save the cus- 
 tomers and associates of the scrivener ; now found himself 
 amongst the most famous authors and players of the time ; 
 with a fair sprinkling of noble lords, distinguished knights, 
 and honourable gentlemen. He listened with exceeding 
 attention to every word that was uttered by his gifted com- 
 panion, and regarded each individual that his attention was 
 drawn unto, with an interest scarcely possible to be con- 
 ceived. 
 
 " See you that most worshipful-looking personage talking 
 to Taylor and Condell 1" inquired Master Shakspeare of his 
 visiter, pointing out a very smartly-dressed gallant, evident- 
 ly much older than he wished to appear. " He that weareth 
 so fine a satin cloak, and hath such gay rosettes in his 
 shoes." Master Francis easily perceived who was meant. 
 " That is Sir Narcissus Wrinkles. He hath as many lines 
 in his face as you may find in a chart of the new world, 
 wherewith Time hath written the sum total of his age, yet 
 doth he imagine that he can find a way to disprove his 
 arithmetic; and with a periwig of the newest fashion, and a 
 
 9* 
 
102 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 beard dyed to match — a very fustian voice prodigal in 
 strange oaths — a leering look — a swaggering gait — and an 
 infinite affectation of the air and apparelling of our youngest 
 gallants, he soeketh to be thought as youthful as Ganymede, 
 and as full of tricks as a kitten. See, now ! he is telling his 
 auditors some notable lie of the feats he did last week with 
 the bottle, or the wonders performed yesterday eve at the 
 Bordello; mayhap he digresses into some famous adventure 
 with the constable of the watch, and then pathetically 
 laments him, that his young blood should lead him into such 
 scrapes. Hear how loudly he laughs at his own follies; 
 and see with what a hearty smack of the shoulder he 
 saluteth his next neighbour ! But they who hear him know 
 their man ; and laugh not with him, but at him." 
 
 Master Shakspeare ihen directed his atlenlion to another 
 group. 
 
 " See you that sagacious-looking youth," said he, " that 
 hath got Will Kemp in serious discoursf. close unto where 
 Anthony Wadeson, Thomas Pope, and Nicholas Towley are 
 in such furious discussion ? Notice the very gravity of his 
 features — the demure combing of his hair — the antique cut of 
 his beard. See how soberly he is clad — mark how stiflly he 
 bears himself. He speaks slowly — as if he weighed every 
 word that fell from his lips — and seemeth quite shocked at the 
 boisterousness of manner of the group of gay young lords at 
 his right. He goelh among us by the name of Young Anti- 
 quity — yet is he called by his proper name, Lord Wiseacre. 
 I warrant you, he is entertaining my friend Will with a right 
 woful lamentation upon the degeneracy of the age ; and 
 leaving him with a shake of the head worthy of a second 
 Nestor, is now making the profound remark, ' Alack ! boys 
 will be boys !' " 
 
 Master Francis could not help a smile, for the manner in 
 which his companion spoke tlie last words, was marked with 
 such an exceeding drollery, that to look grave the while, was 
 out of the question. 
 
 "A little way to the left of him, notice that neatly di'essed 
 old gallant, talking with so mysterious an air to a handsome 
 young nobleman," continued Master Shakspeare. " The one 
 is my Lord Howard of Walden, who sweareth every man of 
 his acquaintance to strict confidence, and then letteth out the 
 famous secret to all whom he can get to listen, of some fair 
 dame being in love with him. He will dilate upon every look 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 103 
 
 ha lias received from her, and emimorate what wonderful signs 
 she halli given liim of her regard ; and ihen he will assert iiis 
 exceeding; virtuousness, and llie fear lie is in that this afieclion 
 of another woman for him should be noticed by my Lady 
 Howard, whom he believed to be a very miracle of chastity — 
 though there be others that have a dilTerent opinion ; and will 
 conjure his listener to be as secret as the grave, and straight- 
 way go and tell as many as he can the same story, the which, 
 as may well be believed, hatii no existence save in his own 
 imagination, and thorough vanity. The person he hath hold 
 of is my Lord Pembroke, as worthy, admirable, and generous 
 a man as breathes ; and desirelh to be my excellent patron and 
 friend. 
 
 " Now, behold you those two young lords that have got Hart 
 by the ear, up in the corner?" continued he; "they are my 
 Lords Simple and Dimple ; they affect to be the Castor and 
 Pollux of these our times, and are never seen apart. At 
 no time have they been heard to differ on any one subject ; 
 they dress alike on all occasions — ay, to such a nearness, that 
 if my Lord Simple have thirty points to his hose, of a surely 
 hath my Lord Dimple exactly the same. At meals they will 
 be helped from the same dish, and have the sam.e quantity to 
 a nicely. If there be but one wing left of the pullet, it 
 must needs be divided to the exactitude of a hair, or they w- ill 
 touch it not ; and if the one haih a spoonful more gravy in his 
 trencher than hath the other, then are both infinitely miserable 
 till the balance be adjusted. This conceit they follow up in 
 all things : — when Simple haih the toothache. Dimple tieth up 
 his jaws ; and if one be afflicted with the colic, the other 
 rubbeih his bowels, and belioweth like a town bull. Yet with 
 all this affectation of friendship, I warrant you Castor doth not 
 care a fig's end for Pollux — and Pollux would not cross the 
 way to save his Castor from the whipping-post." 
 
 Then Master Shakspeare, suddenly turning round, said to 
 his young friend, " Hear you how Green maketh the people 
 laugh ?" And sure enough there was heard at that moment a 
 very roar of laughter, which at intervals, did continue, wiili 
 boisterous clapping of hands and the like. 
 
 " Now turn your vision to where stands that tall slim sen- 
 tleman, in close converse wuh Robert Armyn," said he. 
 "Saw you any thing so spic and span ? he looks as dainly 
 as a bowl of whipped syllabub, and smelleth as nice as a dish 
 of stewed prunes. Surely you will think so fine a personage 
 
104 GHAKSPEARE 
 
 was made only for Sundays? for he secmeth n marvelloa^ 
 deal too delectable for tliis every-day world. His speech loo 
 lie makelh to match wit!i his dress ; for ii be other folk's finery, 
 cut and clipped in accordance with iiis own taste. Truly is 
 he clioice in his plirases, and putlcth tliem to a very absolute 
 good use. He will talk yon upon the cracking of nuts in the 
 tapestry style of Sir Piiilip Sidney his Arciidia ; and describe 
 tlie fashion of a garter in tlie heroic vein of the blank verse of 
 my Lord Sackville. He is Master Aniseed : doubtless yon 
 suppose that his birth was as delicate as his behaviour ; and 
 his bringing np as holiday-like as his apparelling. Yet was 
 his mother a poor midwife, and his father a rat-catcher, and to 
 the latter reputable vocation was he born and bred, and did 
 practise with very notable success, after the demise of his 
 worshipful parents, till a miserly uncle dying, whose heir he 
 was, he straightway began very earnestly, with his new-found 
 gold, to purchase the necessaries of gentility ; and now pass- 
 eth he, as he doth imagine, for a truly creditable gentleman. 
 'Tis like you may fancy, by the pains he takes, that Master 
 Aniseed preferreth his new mode of life wonderfully : but in 
 that you are much deceived ; for have I good grounds for say- 
 ing, that, in secre.t, he doth sigh continually for the more ex- 
 quisite pleasure he hath found in the catching of rats." 
 
 At that moment there entered at the door one of the players, 
 dressed as King Henry the Fourth, whom Master Shakspeare 
 thus addressed : — 
 
 '* Well, Lowing, and how goeth the play with her majesty?" 
 
 " Never went any thing better," said he, very cheerfully ; 
 •' her majesty hath shown from the beginning an admirable 
 interest in the story ; and Green hath made iier laugh till iier 
 crown tottered again ;" and then he passed on. 
 
 " Here, observe you that portly man, with the red face and 
 the black beard, talking familiarly to our dame Quickly and 
 Doll Tearsheet," continued Master Shakspeare to his young 
 friend ; " a turkey-cock looks not so valiant. Judging of him 
 by the way he beareth himself, one might suppose that he had 
 inherited the warlike spirits of all the heroes who have gone 
 before him. He seemeth of so great a heart that he could 
 have braved Caesar, or pulled Alexander by the nfS'. Hear 
 him talk, and to his, the deeds of the seven champions of 
 Christendom arc but as the feats of idle apprentices. 'IMiere, 
 see how he stalks across the roorn, holding by the scabbard 
 his monstrous rapier, and looking about him as valiantly as if 
 
AND mS FRIENDS. 105 
 
 hp C'lrrd not n rush for the whole company, and would fight 
 Iheni all round if any dared but wink at him. Yet is Captain 
 Swagger not so dangerous as he looks ; — indeed he hath done 
 no great damage as yet, as I have heard ; nor is he ever like 
 lo distinguish himself that way ; for in his heart he haih a 
 most Cliristian abhorrence of the shedding of blood ; there- 
 fore, at all times, he taketh good care of his own skin. He 
 will seem full of quarrel where there be no disposition shown 
 to take offence ; but if you look him bravely in the face the 
 whilst, you may tread on his toes, and he will be in no hurry 
 lo lake notice of it." 
 
 " Now is it the common opinion," added he, *' that the 
 players be confined to the playhouse; but I do maintain, 
 and have described some of the characters in this room, 
 lo prove that I speak to the purpose, that there be better 
 players off the stage than on. Moreover, if you look 
 throughout the various busy scenes in the drama of life, 
 you s'hall have good cause to admire the excellence with 
 which some do play their parts, often to the complete de- 
 lusion of the spectators into the belief that they are what 
 they seem. By this art, how often dolli the wanton pass for 
 a creature virtuously given, and the mere cheater play tlie 
 game of an honest man. This is it that makes the glib- 
 tongued profligate so perfectly assume the character of the de- 
 voted lover ; that teacheth the sanctimonious hypocrite how 
 lo be regarded as one of God's chosen ; that gives to youth 
 and assurance the name of candour and disinterestedness, and 
 gravity and gray hairs invest with the air of wisdom and 
 goodness. Truly, Master Francis, if you look well to the 
 world, you shall find that there be feigners that beat us poor 
 players all to naught." 
 
 Master Francis had listened with marvellous attention to 
 ihe discourse of his companion, without daring to hazard a 
 word of reply, for fear of losing something he might say 
 in the interim, at which his companion evidently was not 
 ill pleased. In truth, it seemed that the more he beheld of the 
 youth his modesty and discretion, the greater became his 
 liking for him ; and as he continued to point out the persons 
 worthy of note that were in the room, he looked as if iiis gra- 
 tification therein increased, with the increasing pleasure he 
 afforded to his auditor. 
 
 " 'J'here is as goodly a group yonder as you will meet with 
 in a playhouse," continued he; " it consisteth of young Ben 
 Jonson, a veritable son of the muses, who promiseth to be bet- 
 
106 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 ler known than he is ; my Lord Bockhurst, one who haxh 
 written a tragedy of some note, and loveth to spend his leisure 
 upon players ; Master Edmond Tilney, master of the queen's 
 revels, a very proper gentleman, and a courteous, who hath 
 the licensing of plays, and therefore cometh amongst us often ; 
 Dr. Thomas Lodge, and Dr. Thomas I-»egge, who have writ 
 for our neighbour the Rose, with a very fair success ; and that 
 pedantic and most conceited coxcomb Master John Lily, who 
 hath invented many comedies, yet is like to get himself more 
 laughed at than any of them. Ren Jonson — he that is stand- 
 ing up — seemeth to have the lion's share of the argument, as 
 is his wont; for his tongue is a raiding famously; and 1 
 judge from that, the subject of dispute concerneth the ancients, 
 for he prideth himself mightily upon his Greek and Latin. 
 But here cometh my excellent good friend and patron Lord 
 Southampton." At this he broke off, and his companion no- 
 ticed a noble-looking gentleman, scarce older than himself, 
 well attired, but not too fine in his appointmems, who was ad- 
 vancing towards them with an easy courteousness, and a 
 bland aspect. 
 
 *' Well met. Master Shakspeare," said he, shaking hands 
 with the other very cordially. 
 
 "I'faith, if your lordship be in as good health as I am,'* 
 responded Master Shakspeare with a smile, *' then are we 
 * well met,' indeed." 
 
 " Ever at it," exclaimed the Lord Southampton laughingly. 
 *' Surely there never v/as thy match at quibbles and quirks ? 
 Lideed, thou art a very juggler with words, and at the mere 
 touch of thy wit canst give them any meaning that suits thee.'* 
 
 " In truth, my good Lord," replied the other, " my poor 
 words when addressed to you, however little their meaning 
 may be, must needs have a good meaning, for they mean you 
 Avell at all limes ; and such cannot help but suit me, seeing 
 that I take abundance of care they are brought forth on a fit- 
 ting occasion." 
 
 " There, again !" cried my lord, laughing again very mer- 
 rily. " Sure, never was the like ! But I have just left her 
 majesty, ami rarely have I seen her in a more commendable 
 humour. She doth applaud Burbage to the very echo, and 
 hath laughed at Green till her sides ached for it. I tell tliee, 
 if thou canst please the higher powers so well, hast thou no 
 cause to fear those foolish pragmatics of the city. Let them 
 do what they list. 1 have spoken on thy behalf to mine ho* 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 107 
 
 nourable and most esteemed good friend, Sir Thomas Eger- 
 ton, who, for learning in the law, lialh no superior; and he 
 hath promised me to exert himself for thy advantage. Keep 
 a good heart. Knowing that thou hast the protection of Mas- 
 ter Attorney-General, and art in such absolute favour at court, 
 the aldermen, even if they have the power, the which have I 
 my doubts of, shall not dare drive thee from the Blackfriars. 
 Nay, I sliould take it in very monstrous hard case indeed, 
 were a few paltry citizens allowed to interfere with the plea- 
 sures of so many worshipful lords and gentlemen as find ex- 
 cellent entertainment at the playhouse. Be of good cheer, 
 Master Shakspeare, thou shall never receive disadvantage at 
 their hands." 
 
 " I am infinitely beholden to you, my good lord," said 
 Master Shakspeare. " It is adding another leaf to that volume 
 of favours your lordship's bountiful spirit hath accorded me." 
 
 *' Take not what I have done for thee as any thing," replied 
 my Lord Southampton, putting his hand in a friendly way on 
 the other's shoulder. " For, in honest truth, I am ashamed I 
 have as yet been to thee of such exceeding poor service. Fain 
 would I show in more substantial fashion liow honourably I 
 regard the manifold excellencies of thy nature ; and be assured 
 I will not rest till I do something to the purpose. But I must 
 needs be gone, for I have a parly wailing, with whom is sweet 
 Mistress Varnon ; therefore, fare thee well, Master Shak- 
 speare, till we meet again." 
 
 "AH good attend you, my lord!" replied Master Shak- 
 speare with a very earnest sincerity, as he saw his patron 
 leave the room ; then turning to his young friend, who had 
 not lost a syllable of the preceding discourse, he exclaimed, 
 " There is a truly noble spirit ! he is none of your mere lords 
 who can claim nothing of distinction but the names of iheir 
 fathers — he is enrolled in nature's own peerage ; and carrieth 
 his patent of nobility in his heart. Truly are such an honour 
 to the land ; and the more England hath of them, the better 
 able will she be to cope wilh her enemies. Tliough he hath 
 so youthful a look, he is of a most manly nature. He is ever 
 intent upon honourable purposes — thinketh that of all wor- 
 shipful things intellect hath the supremacy — and seemeth ever 
 ready to put his vantage of rank into obedience out of respect 
 to the gifts, such as they be, wliich God hath grafted into my 
 being. Indeed it be the knowledge of such notable disposi- 
 tions that maketh me in love with humanity. I know of but 
 one other like liim, and him you shall see anon." 
 
108 siiAKSPKAiii: 
 
 At this instant there enlered at tlie door, laughing as if liiey 
 liad naught else in the world to do but to be merry, two of the 
 players; the one, of whom the reader halh already had ac' 
 quaintance, to wil, Richard Burbage, was dressed as the 
 Prince Henry ; the other, wiih a look of iirfinile drollery, in 
 a suit of russet, with huge swollen belly and legs, did repre- 
 sent Sir John Falstafl"; and he coming in did freely accost 
 Master Shakspeare with a very "hail fellow" slap on the back, 
 exclaiming — '* How now, Chanticleer ? tliou lookest as de- 
 mure as an old maid that waketh in the night with a dream 
 that she hath been kissed by a blackamoor." 
 
 *' Go to — thou art Green !" replied Master Shakspeare in 
 the same humour ; " thou art Green by name and green by 
 nature, therefore tliy wit cannot be ripe — and not being ripe 
 must needs be sour. Go hang thyself on a sunshiny wall, 
 and mayhap thou shalt in time become palatable." 
 
 "Away willi thee, thou pestilent player upon words, and 
 unprofitable player upon a stage," cried out the other, " dost 
 think I'll hang at thy bidding ? No — I'll be hanged if I do. 
 Away ! I am sick of thee." 
 
 "Then hast thou the Green sickness — which is marvellous 
 to behold in one of thy appearance," replied Master Shak- 
 speare. 
 
 " Now vvl'.ip me tliis knave !" said Master Green, turning 
 to his companion, who seemed as if he could not well main- 
 tain his gravity. " Here be a sorry fellow for you, who halh 
 as many jests to a name as iheie are patches in a Jew's gabar- 
 dine. See how he abuseth the license of speech ! Was 
 ever such poor practices known since talking came into fa- 
 shion ?" 
 
 " Let hira have his way, I prylhee," observed Master Bur- 
 bage : " he is but simple ; and peradventure had he not his 
 usual pastime he might die from the lack of it." 
 
 " Nay, if I die not till I lack sport, 1 sliall keep my breath 
 as long as" — here Master Shakspeare paused a bit, and then 
 added archly — " as long as this exquisite world provideth such 
 sweet facetious rogues as they that now serve mc to break a 
 jest upon." 
 
 " Out upon thee !" exclaimed the representative of Sir 
 John Falstaff, good-humouredly, *' thou wilt come to no good, 
 depend on't." 
 
 " How can I, forsooth, when such evil things as tliou art, 
 stop my way ?" asked the other. 
 
 " I'faith thou hadst best not meddle with him," gravely re- 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 109 
 
 marked Master Burbage. *' He is like unto the great bear in 
 Paris garden — he worryetii the dogs more than the dogs worry 
 him : a murrain on him." 
 
 " Show not thy teeth then, good dogs," added the other, 
 with a fc^mile, 
 
 '* A fico for thee and all thy kind 1" cried Master Green ; 
 ♦* I will show my teeth in spite of thee — ay, and use them 
 too if it seemeth me good." 
 
 " Doubtless, when such be thy humour, thou wouldst suc- 
 ceed in making a green wound — in virtue of thy name," re- 
 torted Master Shakspeare. 
 
 " Nay, if hanging be not too good for tliee, burn me for a 
 schismatic !" laughingly exclaimed his antagonist. 
 
 *' In good truth, I do not think thou wouldst burn, Tom," 
 coolly observed the one. 
 
 " Why not, Will ?" inquired the other. 
 
 *' Seeing that green wood doth not catch fire very readily," 
 replied the first. 
 
 •' What green again !" cried his droll companion, *' why 
 what a master of colours art thou who useth but one." 
 
 " Wouldst have him take thee for a chameleon, who can 
 change his complexion as it suileth his fancy?" asked Master 
 Burbaore. 
 
 " For the matter of that, he changeth his hue very much 
 like your chameleon," said Master Shakspeare; "for if you 
 catch him at the tavern, doubt not to find him a bottle 
 Green"— 
 
 " Ha ! ha !" shouted both at the same time. 
 
 '• If he ventureth on the salt ocean, assuredly he is a sea 
 Green"— 
 
 " Good, o' my life 1" exclaimed Master Burbage, laughing 
 very lustily. 
 
 " That he be not a Kendal or a Lincoln Green, I can war- 
 rant, knowing that he comelh from Warwickshire ; but when 
 all that is now man of him be turned into mould, there can- 
 not be a question that ho will make a very respectable grass 
 Green." 
 
 "Oh, kill me that varlet straight!" cried Master Green, 
 shaking his monstrous stomach with the violence of his mirth. 
 *' Kill him, Dick, if thou lov'st me — for he hath filled me 
 full of most villanous vegetable conceits. I do begin to fancy 
 some old grannum, coming for simples, catching me up for a 
 
 VOL. I. 10 
 
110 . SHAKSrEARE 
 
 goodly pennyworth, and boiling me, as a sovereign remedy 
 for her rheumatics." 
 
 *' Nay, Tom, thou shall be put to no such ignoble use, be- 
 lieve me," said Master Shakspeare, now laughing in his turn. 
 *' Green ihou art, it cannot be denied, and it be equally cer- 
 tain that thou wilt be ever-Green ; therefore, if it pleaseth 
 thee, when I seek the hays I will come to thee for as much 
 as thou canst provide." 
 
 " Well said, bully rook !" replied the other, giving him 
 another hearty slap on the back. " If thou dependest on me 
 for thy laurels, thou shalt have good store of them — for I do 
 believe that thou hast earned them well." 
 
 " So say I," added Master Burbage, with exceeding ear- 
 nestness. 
 
 " But how goeth the play, my masters ?" suddenly inquired 
 Ma.ster Shakspeare, as if inclined to give a turn to the con- 
 versation. 
 
 " As well as any thing can go that goeth upon legs,*' 
 replied Master Green. 
 
 " But how doth a play go upon legs, Tom ?" asked Bur- 
 bage. " That conceit be out of all toleration." 
 
 " Not a whit, not a whit, Dick," answered the other— 
 " 'tis as plain as the nose on thy face ; and I will do thee the 
 justice to acknowledge that thou hast very ' plain' features." 
 
 " Out, thou pudding !" cried Burbage, laughing heartily ; 
 and fetching his companion a sly poke in the midriff, he 
 thereupon gave a quick jump away, and went with a great 
 bang against Master Aniseed, who coming strutting along 
 in his finery to ascertain what they were so merry upon, 
 had got nigh upon Master Green, when he was sent by the 
 suddenness of the concussion flying along as if he had been 
 shot out of a culverin, knocking down Lords Dimple and 
 Simple, scattering others to the right and to the left, and 
 fetching Sir Narcissus Wrinkles with one of his outspread 
 arms such a whack of the chaps, that it sent his periwig off 
 unto the other end of the room. In an instant, half a dozen 
 rapiers were drawn ; and foremost of all, Sir Narcissus with 
 his bald pate, and swearing in a monstrous passion, was 
 advancing to where stood Master Aniseed, trying to catch 
 his breath, and looking as if he knew not for a certainty 
 whether he was on his head or on his heels. Others pre- 
 sently interposed to prevent bloodshed, but some would not 
 be pacified so readily : and a good many were so provoked 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 1 1 1 
 
 by the ridiculousness of tlie wiiole scene, that they could do 
 nothing but laugh. 
 
 " Let me at him !" cried Sir Narcissus. " By Acheron 
 and gloomy Styx, Fll teach him to play his tricks on me, I 
 warrant you." 
 
 •' 'Sblood, I must kill him within the instant," shouted 
 Captain Swagger, looking prodigiously fierce, and flourishing 
 his rapier in a most sanguinary manner. " He hath given 
 me a blow ! nothing but his life can atone for't." 
 
 " By this light he dies, for he hath hurt my friend," ex- 
 claimed Lord Dimple, raising his head from the floor, and 
 looking pathetically towards Lord Simple, who lay at his 
 length a little distance off'. 
 
 " Nay, I be not much damaged," replied the latter, slowly 
 placing himself in a sitting position. " But if I trounce him 
 not for the ill office he hath done thee, then is friendship but 
 a name." 
 
 ♦' Nay, Sir Narcissus, put up your weapon — it was but an 
 accident," said Master Taylor. 
 
 "Ten thousand furies! let me at him, I say!" cried the 
 enraged knight, vainly endeavouring to break from those 
 who held him tight. 
 
 " Come, good captain, we must have no fighting here!" 
 cried Master Lowing, who with others were trying to hold 
 him back. 
 
 " Away, gentlemen I" bawled Captain Swagger. " He 
 hath signed his own death-warrant. He hath done me an 
 offence. Hold me not, I pray you, for I must kill him." 
 
 "Who talks of killing]" cried Master Green, looking 
 preposterously valiant and big, and coming in before Master 
 Aniseed with a rapier of a tremendous length, which he had 
 drawn from the scabbard at his side. " Is any man so 
 weary of life as to stand before my invincible toasting-iron — 
 then let him die now, and pray all the rest of his days. Am 
 I not famed for the killing of giants, of griffins, dragons, and 
 monsters horrid 1 Then pity be pitiless : puppies shall 
 drown in pails, or I'll know the reason on't. My masters, 
 before I let fly my valour and shave the world of its hu- 
 manity, it seemeth to me good to say this much. So he that 
 hath ears to hear, let him give me his ears — and if he be 
 deaf, why, let him hold his tongue. Thus is it — Let it be 
 known to you that the good youth who hath made all this 
 turmoil, be in no way to blame, seeing that he was but an 
 
112 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 agent in the mischief of which he was the innocent cause ; 
 for thus stands the tale : I jumping bacli suddenly, not 
 knowing such a person was so nigh at hand, came with all 
 my force against him, and did force him, very unwillingly 
 on his part, I will be bound for't, to. do what hath excited 
 your high displeasure. Now, mark this: it be an unques- 
 tionable truth, that no map. is ever in a rage with the bullet 
 that killeth him ; but, doubtless, would be glad, if he could, 
 to pay off the pestilent varlet who shot the bullet, duarrel 
 not, then, with the bullet in this business — but they whose 
 indignations be unquenchable, let them at me — for I shot 
 the bullet." 
 
 Shouts of laughter rose from all parts of the room during 
 this discourse, but when the speaker, with his great, stuffed 
 body and valiant looks, more laughable than terrible, begun 
 swinging his monstrous weapon about, jumping quickly 
 here and there, and slashing on all sides Vvith an abundance 
 of ridiculous antics, they that were nighest to him made all 
 haste to get out of his way ; the rapiers were quickly 
 sheathed, and such roars of laughter followed one another 
 from all the company, that never was the like heard. 
 
 " I pray you, if you be good Christians, bury the dead 
 quickly," observed Master Green, gravely putting up his 
 weapon, — at which every one laughed the more. " Indeed 
 this be killing vrork," continued he, wiping his brows with 
 his handkerchief, amid the shouts of all around him. " 'Tis 
 a thousand pities it be so fatiguing to the body, else would I 
 slay as many score as I have done now, every day i' the 
 year, and find it a very pretty diversion." 
 
 " Prythee, sweet friend, tell me if thy hurt be great !'* 
 asked Lord Dimple, leaning upon the shoulder of his asso- 
 ciate, very anxiously; though, when he saw the great 
 weapon coming into play a minute since, he jumped out of 
 the way without in the least looking after his friend. 
 
 " In truth, my elbow be somewhat bruised," replied Lord 
 Simple, with a right dolorous look. "But how is it with 
 thee ?" 
 
 *' By this hand I am also a little hurt in the elbow," said 
 he, very tenderly feeling his arm at the joint. " But I am 
 villanous sore v/here I sit me down." 
 
 "Alack ! I have there the most pestilent soreness true friend 
 ever endured," replied the other, and immediately he did be- 
 gin rubbing himself behind with a couiUenance that v/ould 
 have softened a heart of stone. 
 
AND HIS FRIENDP. 113 
 
 " And now, Tom, to the proofs," said Biirbage, after llie 
 Inughler had abated, and things became in the room near wliat 
 they were before Master Aniseed's mishap, '* How doth a 
 play go upon legs ?" 
 
 " Doth not a play go upon the players V inquired Master 
 Green. 
 
 " Of a truth, it cannot go well without," observed the other, 
 
 " And do not the players go upon legs ?" asked he. 
 
 " Truly, they could not well go without," remarked Mas- 
 ter Shakspeare, with all his gravity. 
 
 *' Well, then, my masters, dost see the drift of my argu- 
 ment?" said Green. " If the play be supported by the play- 
 ers, and the players be supported by their legs, is it not as 
 true as that chickens come out of egg-shells, that a play goeth 
 upon legs ?" 
 
 " I question not that if the play ♦ stand' at all, it shall have 
 legs to stand upon," observed Master Shakspeare in the same 
 humour, *' but I doubt hugely, that the play and the players 
 go together at all times ; for it may chance that the players be 
 * damned,' which is like enough of some of 'em that I know ; 
 but the damning of the play doth not follow, especially if 
 it be one of mine." 
 
 " Out upon thee, thou intolerable piece of vanity and horri- 
 ble calumniator !" cried Master Green, laughing all the time, 
 *' I will forswear thy company, and on the instant take my- 
 self ofT." 
 
 " Do so, Tom," replied Master Shakspeare, as his friend 
 was leaving him, " thou wilt save me an infinite world of 
 trouble by it, for I have been taking thee off this many a day." 
 
 "I owe thee one for that I" emphatically exclaimed the 
 other, turning round as he was going out at the door, and 
 shaking his droll head at him very merrily, ''and if I pay 
 thee not, Will, thou shall hold me in no more estimation than 
 a soused gurnet." 
 
 "Away with thee, thou wilt never become half so dainty a 
 piece of pickle !" retorted his companion. 
 
 When Green was gone Master Shakspeare did adtlress Bur- 
 bage in his usual playful manner, with *' Well, Dick, did the 
 verses play the part thou wouldst have them ?" 
 
 "Excellently well," replied he. "In truth, never verses 
 had belter reception. If she be not an exquisite judge of all 
 the commodities of a good measure, then stand I on a very 
 indifferent footing with a pretty woman." 
 
 10* 
 
114 SliAKSPEAKE 
 
 " r faith, ihy feel have but an indifferent appearance, Dick,'' 
 said Master Shakspeare, gravely looking down upon tlie 
 other's shoes. 
 
 " That mvist needs become a standing joke," observed his 
 companion. 
 
 " It may, for I do not think it deserves to be set down.'* 
 
 "Go to!" exclaimed Master Burbage, jocularly. "But 
 listen to me. I watched her the whilst she read tliy poem, 
 and, believe me, her face be worth the looking at : and as she 
 proceeded she opened her pretty lips — a tempting pair, by 
 this light! — and said, 'That is not il!,' and anon, 'brave 
 words !' and presently, 'an excellent good conceit;' and tlius 
 went she till she came to the end, when she did acknowledge 
 that they were of better stuff than she had expected of me." 
 
 " Then must she have had a marvellous bad opinion of 
 ihee," duly remarked his companion, " and evidently knevi^ 
 thy value to a fraction. But what didst get for them T' 
 
 " Dost think I kiss and tell ?" said the other, in a seem- 
 ing indignation. "But I tell thee how it is, W'lW, I have cut 
 out him of the sonnet ; he haih no more chance than a drown- 
 ed kitten in Houndsditch. And our next assignation hath a 
 very pretty conceit in it, for it is agreed between us that I 
 shall come to her door ; and to prevent mistakes, when she 
 says ' who's there,' at ray knocking, I am to reply, * It is I — 
 Richard the Third.' " 
 
 " What, dost mean to play the tyrant with her?" laugh- 
 ingly inquired Master Shakspeare. " But let not thy long- 
 ings for her father's gold make thee too sanguine. Mayhap 
 thou wilt find plenty of Richmonds in the field yet." 
 
 " I care not if there be — I am desperately in love ; and if 
 she is to be had, will have her in spite of them," replied Mas- 
 ter Burbage. " But there is our Slentor, with his lungs 
 ©'leather, giving me a pretty loud hint that I am wanted ; so 
 I am off." Saying which, he hastily departed at the door. 
 
 " And how like you the players and their associates," ask- 
 ed Master Shakspeare to his young companion. 
 
 " In truth, exceeding well," replied Master Francis, cheer- 
 fully, " never have I been so much amused as during the 
 time I have been here. Methinks they must lead a right 
 merry life." 
 
 " They are the very grasshoppers of the age," observed his 
 friend, " a small matter of sunshine sufficeth to make them 
 chirp ; notwithstanding which they oftlimes live in fear of be- 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 115 
 
 ing trodden iiinlcr foot, or snapped up by such as think fit to 
 devour them and their substance." Doubtless, in this Mas- 
 ter Shakspeare did alkide to the efforts that had been made by 
 the city authorities to deprive himself and his associates of 
 performing plays within their jurisdiction. 
 
 Al'ier some lime longer passed in the room, his friend did 
 lead Master Francis out just as many of the players came in, 
 denoting that the play was over ; and after carefully picking 
 his way along, he was brought before a large curtain, in the 
 which there was a hole whereat Master Shakspeare took a 
 peep, and desired his companion to do the same. He looked, 
 and saw a throng of people of the respectable sort, standing 
 up close together a little below him ; whilst a vast number of 
 i;ooms, all round about and above them, were filled with lords 
 and ladies, and the like, very splendidly attired ; and up higher 
 on " the scaffold," or gallery, were a crowd of the meaner 
 kind, who could afford neither a shilling or a sixpence, such 
 as had been paid by " the groundlings," and those in the 
 rooms, but came only as threepenny customers. All was 
 open to the sky, and at the top was a great flag. But what 
 struck him the most was the noise and hubbub of the people. 
 Some were shouting " God save the queen," others casting 
 up their hats, and tlie ladies waved their handkerchiefs ; and 
 turning his eyes to where the looks of the audience were di- 
 rected. Master Francis beheld, in the largest of the rooms, all 
 daintily fitted up with curtains of satin and gold, her majesty, 
 Queen Elizabeth, who, with a very queenlike dignity, had 
 presented herself in front of her noble attendants, clad with 
 princely magnificence ; and continued most graciously to curt- 
 sey to her applauding subjects. 
 
 He had not been many minutes engaged in observing this 
 interesting scene, from the attractions of which he could 
 scarcely take off his eyes, when he felt himself touched on 
 the slioulder, and turning round, saw a handsome and gal- 
 lant-looking gentleman approaching the place where he 
 stood. 
 
 " I have been in constant expectation of seeing you, Sir 
 Walter" 
 
 " Speed thee. Master Shakspeare, and follow me," said the 
 other, interrupting him quickly. 
 
 " I must first request your kind offices in favour of 
 my young friend here, who is a youth of excellent parts 
 and" — - 
 
1 10 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 *' Let him come to me at Durham House to-morrow, at 
 eleven o'clock," said he, " for, in truth, I have not a minute 
 to lose now. Her majesty hath desired that thou shouldst 
 be presented to her, and if we make not prodigious haste 
 she will be gone." 
 
 " Be sure and go to Durham House, as Sir Walter Ra- 
 leigh hath required, and thou wilt find thy advantage in it," 
 whispered Master Shakspeare ; and in a moment afterwards 
 Master Francis found himself alone. For a minute or two 
 it seemed to him that all had passed as a dream. It ap- 
 peared scarcely possible that he should have stood in the 
 presence of the far-famed Sir Walter Raleigh — have been 
 recommended to his patronage, and desired of him to call at 
 his mansion : and it could not but be (so he thought) that 
 the stately-looking gentleman, so richly clad, who a mo- 
 ment since stood before him, was a mere delusion of the 
 fancy. These reflections threw him into a profound revery, 
 in the which he was so completely lost, that he saw and 
 heard nothing around him. 
 
 " Prythee tell me, what have they offered thee a week 3" 
 was asked him a third time before he noticed that the ill- 
 favoured and inquisitive knave, Gib the call-boy, with his 
 enormous mouth upon the stretch, and his eyes squinting 
 more abominably than ever, was at his elbow, wondering 
 that he could get no answer. 
 
 " Hold thy prate — I know not," was the reply. 
 
 " Nay, if thou knowest not, thou canst not tell, of a 
 surety," observed the call-boy. " But thou canst think with- 
 out knowing, and therefore say, I prythee, what thou dost 
 think they have offered thee ?" 
 
 " What matters it to thee," replied the other, in spite of 
 himself, amused at the coaxing, wheedling manner in which 
 the bandy-legged urchin attempted to win the important 
 secret from him. 
 
 " In honest truth, I am curious to know if they are in- 
 clined to give thee as much as a whole shilling a week and 
 find thyself out on't," said the boy, holding up his head with 
 such an affectation of conceit that the other could not help 
 laughing in his face. 
 
 " Then, in honest truth, I believe they are not," responded 
 Master Francis. 
 
 " I thought so," said Gib, with an air of satisfaction that 
 increased the mirth of his companion — then added, in a 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 117 
 
 tone of consolation, " Be not cast down at it. I do assure 
 thee, that if thou wilt abide by my advice, and do the 
 women, thou shalt get as much as that in good time ; 
 for truly thou art well fitted for playing in such parts, seeing 
 that thou wilt have no call for a beard yet awhile, and when 
 it doth appear in any sort of prodigality, I have an honest 
 barber of my acquaintance who shall pluck each individual 
 hair out by the roots, and charge thee little or nothing 
 for it." 
 
 " I am obliged to thee infinitely," seriously observed the 
 youth, who winced under the very idea of such torture. " I 
 tell thee, once for all, I never had any desire of becoming a 
 player, and all the service I require of thee, is to lead me out 
 of this place as quickly as thou canst." 
 
 " Desirest thou not to become a player V thundered out 
 the astonished call-boy. " Well, here is a fortune thrown 
 away ! And I did hope thou wouldst have supplanted our 
 Juliet, who, no later than yesterday, gave me a villanous 
 kick i' the breech for offering to show him how to die more 
 graceful than is his wont." 
 
 " And I will give thee another if thou dost not instantly 
 lead me into the street," added Master Francis, looking as 
 seriously as he could. At this the eyes of the call-boy 
 seemed directed in every way at the same time ; and with- 
 out saying a word more, he began to shuffle his mis-shapen 
 legs away as fast as he could, — closely followed by the 
 other. 
 
 While those two were leaving the playhouse. Sir Walter 
 Raleigh was hurrying Master Shakspeare along, and they 
 arrived at the queen's room just as her majesty was moving 
 to depart, with all her noble train of lords and ladies around 
 her. 
 
 " Please your majesty, here is Master William Shak- 
 speare," said Sir Walter Raleigh, as he pushed through the 
 throng. 
 
 " Let him enter," said the queen. Thereupon, Master 
 Shakspeare advanced towards the queen and knelt before 
 her; and her majesty and many of her courtiers — especially 
 the ladies, did look upon him very curiously. 
 
 •' Master Shakspeare," exclaimed the queen, •' we do 
 commend the excellence of your wit, whereof the application 
 hath pleased us much, on more occasions than the present ; 
 and will take care you suffer no hindrance in your calling, 
 
118 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 SO long as you continue as you have done, to attempt not to 
 meddle with matters of state. Of all your performances, 
 that fat knight hath delighted us in the greatest measure ; 
 and it seemeth that we should find an additional satisfaction 
 could we see the rogue in love. Think of it, Master Shak- 
 speare, and if your conceit jump that way, send word to the 
 palace, and we will give you the first fitting opportunity to 
 read to us whatever you may write upon the subject." Then 
 graciously giving him her ungloved hand all brilliant with 
 jewels, to which he respectfully bent his lips, her majesty 
 passed him by, followed by her maids of honour, her officers 
 in waiting, and others whose duty it was to attend upon her 
 person, leaving Master Shakspeare kneeling, from which he 
 presently rose, and in a few minutes heard the trumpets and 
 kettle-drums, with the hurrahs of the mob outside, striking 
 up as the queen left the playhouse in her caroch. 
 
 CHA.PTER VIII. 
 
 Millions of yeares this old drivell Cupid lives ; 
 
 While still more wretch, more wicked he doth prove ; 
 
 Till now at length that Jove an office gives, 
 
 (At Juno's suit, who much did Argus love) 
 In this our world a hangman for to be 
 Of all those fooles that will have all they see. 
 
 Sir Philip Sidxey. 
 
 There are a sort of men, whose visages 
 Do cream and mantle like a standing pond, 
 And do a wilful stillness entertain 
 With purpose to be dressed in an opinion 
 Of wisdom, gravity, profound conceit ; 
 As who should say, I am Sir Oracle, 
 And when I ope my lips let no dog bark. 
 
 Shakspeare. 
 
 *' Come, coz ! coz ! Prythee have done with this sighing 
 and trembling," exclaimed Mistress Alice to her fair cozen, as 
 Ihey were together in iheir tiring-room, seemingly gelling 
 themselves ready to go upon a journey. " Why, ihou makest 
 as much fuss about being married as might I, for whom the 
 idea of it hath but sorry recommendation indeed. Well, 
 Heaven help them that cannot help themselves, say I — and of 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 119 
 
 all that need help, none are like your would-be wife ; for of a 
 Irulli, she must be in monstrous hard case, that desirelh so 
 ridiculous a thing as a husband." 
 
 *' He cannot help being ruined," observed Mistress Throck- 
 morton, sorrowfully, and quite inattentive to the remarks of 
 her merry kinswoman. 
 
 " Well, blame him not for it," said the other, in her pretty 
 droll way. *' For, if he cannot help it, he should escape cen- 
 sure. But melhinks there be no great cause for such appre- 
 hension, for when I showed thy father's letter to the queen 
 requesting thy presence at AKIgate, on the pretence of his de- 
 clining health ; she had come from the play in so fine a 
 liumour, that it seemed as if she could have granted any thing : 
 therefore art thou to go, and I with thee : and if thy man ani- 
 mal fail thee not, thou wilt be made his yokefellow straight. 
 Now have I very palpably in my mind's eye, the appearance 
 of thyself and thy precious helpmate some two or three score 
 of years hence. Thou wilt sit on one side of the chimney 
 corner, and he on the other, like Darby and Joan : wiih, may- 
 hap, the cat at thy feet, and the dog at his, and his worship 
 lifting up his woollen nightcap to scratch his bald pate the 
 whilst, shall say, in a monstrous thin voice, like a sucking 
 beetle," here did she imitate an old man's querulous speech 
 to the life — " ' Dame ! it be woundy cold o' nights— hast 
 never another pair o' hose to cover up my legs V And then thou 
 shall look at his shrunk shanks very pitifully over thy specta- 
 cles, and dividing thy nose and chin, which shall then be nigh 
 unto kissing each other, shalt answer, 'Forsooth, my old man, 
 'lis but proper thou shouldst have another pair ; for I know 
 by the absolute shooting o' my corns, we shall have foul 
 weather soon.' " 
 
 " Fie on thee, Alice !" exclaimed Mistress Elizabeth, yet 
 scarcely able to refrain from joining in her companion's mer- 
 riment — for the little creature screwed her pretty face into so 
 odd an expression — and made her voice sound so tremulous 
 and droll, in accordance with the laughable scene she was de- 
 scribing, that it was impossible for any one to have looked on 
 unmoved. 
 
 "And then being mighty skilful in the preparation of sim- 
 ples," continwed Alice very archly. " After having put him 
 to bed and tucked him up, that the cold shall not visit his old 
 bones too roughly — for I prythee remember, there shall be 
 nothing of him but skiu and bone — thou shah make him a 
 
120 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 famous posset, with spice in it, to comfort his poor bowels— 
 whereof, when he halh swallowed a sufficiency, thou shalt 
 take the rest; then to bed wilh him — and a few minutes after 
 which, thou shalt be heard snoring a fine treble as an accom- 
 paniment to his worship's excellent bass." 
 
 ♦' Nay, I am ashamed of ihee !" cried the other, although 
 she could in no way help laughing at the conceit, in spile of 
 the trouble she seemed to be in. *' But haste thee, Alice, with 
 our things, or my father will have to wail — which thou know- 
 est he likes not. Ah, me — I would it were all over !" 
 
 " Ah, me — I would it were well over, or under either, so 
 that it had a good ending," said Alice, briskly. " By my troth, 
 there must needs be something in this taking of a husband, by 
 the to-do which is made of it ; though, meihinks,it would re- 
 quire as great a conjurer as Dr. Dee, to find out where iieth 
 the wonder. For mine own part, I cannot but help believing, 
 that these man animals are hugely flattered — seeing thu we 
 are inclined to make so great a fuss out of so small a matter." 
 
 " He will be undone !" exclaimed Mistress Elizabeth, sigh- 
 ing, and wringing her hands. 
 
 " A pudding undone !" cried Alice, her sparkling eyes flash- 
 ing very merrily. " Why should he be undone, I prythee ? 
 — unless he undo himself; and then mayhap he shall get 
 himself in a tanglement, like the fag-end of a ball of worsted 
 in the paws of a kitten. I tell thee, Bess, he shall never be 
 undone. There is that in him which will put up with no un- 
 doing. Think not of it. It cannot be. Thou shalt find him 
 like a very pretty skein of silk, as he is; and shalt wind him 
 off clear to the end." 
 
 " It was noble in him to offer to marry me," said Mistress 
 Throckmorton — somewhat as it were to herself. 
 
 " Nay, I cannot see it be so very noble either," replied her 
 laughing cousin ; " truly thou art worthy to mate wilh as good 
 as he — or better, if it come to that." 
 
 "No, no, no !" cried Mistress Elizabeth, shaking her head 
 in very woful fashion. 
 
 " But I say yes, yes, yes!" quickly exclaimed the other. 
 *' In all respects he hath got an excellent bargain, and the 
 varlet knoweth it, or I be much deceived. Thou shouldst 
 not hold thyself too cheap, Bess ; a w^oman gets nothing by 
 that, depend on't. As for me, if there be any that would 
 have me at mine own valuation, then shall they coin all the 
 ♦ man's flesh that may be met with above ground into rose 
 
AND Ills FRIENDS. '121 
 
 nobles ; and lack the greatest portion of wliat I would go for 
 after all." 
 
 " In truth, then, thou wouldst go at a price indeed," 
 remarked her cousin. 
 
 *' Price, quotha ! why should I not go at a price 1" replied 
 the merry Alice, tossing her little head very prettily. " Dost 
 think I am but a pennyworth ] — of so little account, that he 
 that gets me might run a withy through my gills, and carry 
 me home like a cheap mackerel ]" 
 
 *' Nay, I meant not that," said Mistress Elizabeth, smiling 
 at the exceeding oddity of her cousin's humour. 
 
 *' Thou art not held so poorly in my esteem, believe mg ; 
 for thou hast ever been to me a very dear good creature," 
 and thereat she stooped and kissed her rosy dimpled check 
 with an admirable affection. 
 
 " Ay, if I am to be bought, I'll be a dear creature to him 
 that buys me, depend on't," laughingly answered she, as she 
 returned her cousin's caress. " But hark — here comes a 
 footstep !" Saying this, she hastened to the door, the which 
 she opened as some one approached it, and noticing that it 
 was one of the yeomen of the j^uard, she exclaimed, " Ha, 
 Master Annesley, what news?" 
 
 " Please you, my lady," replied he very respectfully, 
 " there be certain of Sir Nicholas Throckmorton's serving- 
 men down below, who say that the barge is ready at the 
 water-side for Mistress Elizabeth and yourself, to the which 
 they wait to conduct you." 
 
 " See that they be entertained ; and say we will be with 
 them anon. Master Annesley," said Alice. 
 
 "I will, my lady," answered he; and departed quickly to 
 do her bidding. 
 
 " Bess I Bess ! why how thou dost tremble !" exclaimed 
 the other, when she had returned to her kinswoman, " Dost 
 tremble at a man 1 — Psha ! Fifty men should not make me 
 wag a hair of my head. Now on with thy mantle!" 
 
 •' Alas ! he will be ruined !" cried Mistress Elizabeth very 
 piteously. 
 
 " Then the more goose he !" replied her cousin. " But I 
 apprehend he hath more wit than to suffer it. Dost think 
 / would be ruined 1 — Nay, I'd eat my head off first ! Come, 
 here is thy hat. Alack, thou lookest as pale as a Shrovetide 
 pancake. Courage, sweetheart ! If it were not that I have 
 no inclination that way, I would marry all the bachelors be- 
 
 VOL. I. 1 1 
 
122 SIIAKSPEARE 
 
 tween this and Muscovy, and not be frightened a whit. 
 Nay, shake not so, I prythec, for thou wilt have shaking 
 enough soon, I doubt not — seeing that when we get to Lon- 
 don Bridge thou wilt have to mount on the pillion on uncle's 
 brown Bess, whilst I must ride before Diggory on the gray 
 mare : and then we shall go trot, trot, trot, to Aldgate, till 
 neither of us have more bowels than a flea. And now thou 
 art ready at last." 
 
 Then, after some few minutes employed in finishing her 
 own attire — for her beautiful kinswoman seemed in such a 
 strait that she could assist her none at all — she drew her arm 
 through that of the other, cheering her all the time with 
 many droll sayings ; and they passed together out of the 
 room in their travelling equipments, giving notice as they 
 went to one of the yeomen that the men should meet them 
 near the gates; thereat when they arrived, they found the 
 serving-men in their best liveries (proper stout varlets, each 
 with a goodly rapier at his girdle), and with abundance of 
 respectful salutations from them, answered kindly and with- 
 out haughtiness by their fair mistresses, thus attended, they 
 left the palace of Whitehall, and proceeded across the Queen's 
 Garden to the Privy Bridge. 
 
 " Step in quick," said a voice that came from one muffled 
 up close in a large cloak, who sat in a barge at the water- 
 side. 
 
 " Father !" exclaimed Mistress Elizabeth. 
 
 " Uncle !" cried Alice in the same breath. 
 
 " Nay, there be no time for fathers or uncles either," 
 replied Sir Nicholas, " I be not to speak nor disclose myself 
 for fear of watchers and praters, — so in, wench, and quickly. 
 And now, Diggory, push off from the shore, and help ply 
 the oars well." 
 
 " That will I, your worship," replied one with a famous 
 dull honest face and yellow beard, who with a long pole 
 sought to push the barge into deep water; " and as your 
 worship desireth that your name shall not be mentioned, I 
 will take care it pass not my lips. Truly 'twould be a 
 shame were I not to do the bidding of so excellent a master 
 as Sir Nicholas Throck " 
 
 " Hang thee, villain, thou would betray me upon the 
 instant !" exclaimed the old knight. " Take to thy oar, and 
 let thy tongue wag on thy peril." 
 
 " I am dumb, Sir Nichol " 
 
AND HI3 FRIENDS. 123 
 
 ♦« Take that, for a prating varlet !" said his master, inter- 
 rupting the mentioning of his name by a blow with an ashen 
 stick he had under his cloak, that not only made Diggory 
 wince mightily, but had tlie effect of silencing him without 
 another word. 
 
 ♦' Nay, father !" 
 
 " Hurt him not, good uncle !" cried the cousins, as they 
 saw the weapon descending. 
 
 " 'Sblood ! one might as well be proclaimed at Paul's !" 
 exclaimed Sir Nicholas impatiently. " I tell thee I am now 
 neither thy father, nor thy uncle, nor thy ox, nor thy ass, 
 nor any thing that is thine." 
 
 They now glided slowly and in silence along the river, 
 keeping pretty nigh unto the left bank — the serving-men 
 straining at the oars with all their strength — Mistress Eliza- 
 beth trembling exceedingly, and her beautiful countenance 
 marked with a great paleness ; and Alice with her arm 
 round her waist, whispering excellent consolation, with now 
 and then such droll conceits as entered into her head. 
 
 " Who be those getting into a pair of oars from the very 
 spot where we took water?" inquired Sir Nicholas, pointing 
 to two persons closely wrapped in large cloaks, who were 
 then stepping into a boat. 
 
 " Methinks they are men of some sort," replied Diggory, 
 with a monstrous gravity, who fancying the question had been 
 addressed to him, had plucked up courage to answer it. 
 
 " Mine eyes can tell me that," said his master, drily. 
 
 *' And wear they goodly coplanck hats, out of all question,'* 
 continued the man. 
 
 " That also I can see wiUioul thy assistance," answered 
 the old knight. " I hope they be not coming after us." 
 
 " They are pulling across the river," observed Alice. 
 
 ♦♦ That is evident to me likewise," responded Sir Nicholas; 
 and for some minutes not a word more was spoken, till lie 
 cried out, " but see, they are creeping along the shore on the 
 other side. Odds my life ! but I tljink they be spies." 
 
 " If it please you, shall we run across ?" said Diggory, 
 *' and Peter and I will draw upon them, and spoil their spy- 
 ing straight." 
 
 *' Ay, that would we, with a vengeance, if it please you, 
 master," exclaimed another, whose patch on the forehead be- 
 tokened him to be one in no way averse to a broil. 
 
124 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 " Peace, knaves," exclaimed the old kivght ; •* Dost think, 
 if there be a!iy need of drawing, I cannot play my part ?" 
 
 *' For the matter of that," observed Diggory, ♦' I can af- 
 firm, with a safe conscience, there be no such a master at the 
 weapon." 
 
 "Indeed, for a swashing blow, of all valorous knights com- 
 mend me to Sir Nicholas Throck : Oh !" shouted Peter, 
 
 before finishing his sentence, on finding the aforesaid ashen 
 stick descending on his pate, wiili the very swashing blow he 
 was speaking of. 
 
 "Will never hold thy prate?" angrily cried his master: 
 •' Nay, by God's suffering, I'll give thee a cudgelling all 
 round, if I hear another word." At this the men said no- 
 more, but pulled on, passing divers noble mansions that stood 
 on the slope of the Thames, nigh unto the village of Charing, 
 Sir Nicholas watching very earnestly the strange boat, that 
 kept at a good distance on the other side of the river, till they 
 approached Ivy Bridge ; when he commanded Diggory to 
 make for a small flight of stone steps, adjutling out of a mag- 
 nificent mansion that stood tiiere. As it was high water, the 
 barge was easily brought to the stairs, and then the old knight, 
 handing out his daughter and his niece, pointed to thera an 
 open door above the wall, against which the tide was a run- 
 ning, for them to go into, while he tarried a moment to give 
 directions to his men. 
 
 " Courage, Bess ! this is Durham House, and thou wilt 
 soon be a wife now," exclaimed Alice, as the other, seer/iing 
 more dead than alive, leaned upon her, as they advanced 
 through the little door, into a dark passage. " At least Sir 
 Waller Raleigh hath one virtue — he hath a goodly house to 
 live in." 
 
 " To which lie now welcomes his dear sweet wife and 
 thee," said a well-known voice ; and Mistress Elizabeth 
 found herself clasped in the arms of her affianced husband. 
 
 " Oh, Waller !" was all she could say. 
 
 "Alack, I had like to have been frightened," exclaimed 
 Alice; "but now 1 see who it ber I only wonder I took 
 any alarm, for I am not easily frightened at so small a mat- 
 ter." 
 
 "Another time, Alice, I will give it thee in good style for 
 that," said Sir Walter, laughingly ; and then, turning to Mis- 
 tress Elizabeth, added, — " Come, Bess, to the chapel, all is 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 125 
 
 ready ; my cliaplain wait?, and lliere is no one with him but 
 my friend Lord Cobham." 
 
 ♦♦ And here comes her old father, to see her hononrably 
 wedded to a truly excellent and gallant gentleman," cried Sir 
 Nicholas Thiockmorton, a little way behind them. 
 
 ♦' Welcome to Durham House, Sir Nicholas," exclaimed 
 Raleigh : and then the two knights shook hands in a very 
 friendly manner. 
 
 *' Thanks, Sir Walter," replied the other ; " I have brought 
 Bess here, with strict attention to your directions ; yet had I 
 at one time misgivings we were watched." 
 
 " Wlio could have thought of playing the spy on you ?" 
 asked Raleigh. 
 
 " In truth it was a mistake of mine," replied the old 
 knight ; " for the boat in which were the supposed watchers 
 haiii but now gone on, as I think, to the Bankside." 
 
 " I beseech you, follow me then to the chapel," said Sir 
 Walter ; and then, wiili many kind and soothing words to her 
 who hung so fondly on his arm, he led the way, closely fol- 
 lowed by Alice and her uncle, through many courts and pas- 
 sages, till they came to a sort of oratory, dimly lighted, fitted 
 up in very antique fashion as a place of worship, in the which 
 stood, in his robes, at the altar, the chaplain, conversing with 
 my Lord Cobham ; and with a few hurried words of greeting 
 betwixt that Lord and Sir Nicholas Throckmorton, the cere- 
 mony was proceeded with ; Mistress Elizabeth looking all 
 the whilst, as some thought, fitter for a burial than a bridal, 
 and trembling wonderfully ; but she said the responses with a 
 proper distinctness ; and in a marvellous little time she did 
 receive the congratulations of those around her. She answer- 
 ed not to what was said, save by turning towards her hus- 
 band, and with her beautiful eyes swimming in their own soft 
 light, regarded him with a look of such infinite thankfulness, 
 that it sunk direct to his heart, and never, whilst he had life, 
 was thence erased. 
 
 "And now, Sir Nicholas Throckmorton," said Sir Walter, 
 advancing to him, with his arm fondly encircling his wife, " I 
 consign this precious charge into your keeping for awhile, 
 which I hope will be but brief. 1 am going, as it may be 
 known unto you, upon a voyage, whereof the successful result 
 will, I hope, win me the queen's pardon for this proceeding; 
 and I know not where, with such excellent propriety and ad- 
 vantage, 1 could place in safety, during my absence, what I 
 
 11* 
 
12G SHAKSPEARE 
 
 account so great a treasure, as with one from whom its value 
 did proceed. I pray you look to her tenderly." 
 
 ♦•That will I, Sir Walter, depend on't," replied the olJ 
 knight, briskly. "A murrain on thee ; what dost look so pale 
 for?" added lie to his daughter; " wiien I married thy mo- 
 ther, her cheek oulblushed the rose : but there will come 
 colour enough by-and-by, or I'm hugely mistaken ;" and then 
 he gave a very merry chuckle, and did touch her playfully 
 under the chin. 
 
 " It grieveih me that I should seem to play the niggard, 
 Sir Nicholas," said Sir Waller ; " but it must be known to 
 you why it is so ; and therefore do I trust vou will excuse 
 it." 
 
 " Odds my life, man, speak not of it," answered Sir Nicho- 
 las ; " but if thou canst, come to us this eve at Aldgale, and 
 we will have a merry night on't." 
 
 "I will strive to bring it about," replied Sir Walter. 
 
 "Art admiring my apparel, fair Alice?" asked my Lord 
 Cobham, with a great show of gallantry, as he advanced 
 towards the place where she, with her roguish eyes, seemed 
 intently scrutinising his dress. 
 
 " Indeed it hath to me a right handsome look," replied she, 
 very innocently ; " but methinks it be a thousand pities it 
 should have so sorry a lining." 
 
 '"Tis a mad wench ! 'tis a mad wench!" exclaimed the 
 old knight, with a loud laugh, whilst my Lord Cobham ap- 
 peared as if he knew not whether to be offended or amused ; 
 " she hath a lively wit, it cannot be denied ; and they do say 
 she takeih after me." 
 
 *' The truth of which I here do affirm," said the merry 
 girl ; " for having many a day helped yourself before me, it 
 standeth to reason, uncle, that I must take after you." 
 
 " Ha, ha!" shouted her kinsman, who seemed as fond of 
 a jest as herself, " that be a truth beyond all contradiction. 
 Now, Sir Walter, you take the lead, else I know not how I 
 shall find my way back to the barge." Raleigh was whis- 
 pering a few encouraging words to his beautiful wife, previous 
 to his departure, when he was startled by a knocking at the 
 chapel door. 
 
 "Now, Stephen, what news?" asked he; going to the 
 door, yet without opening it. 
 
 " Please you. Sir Walter," replied the voice of an old man, 
 " there is my Lord Burghley at the gate, who says he must 
 have immediate speech with you on the queen's business " 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 127 
 
 '♦ Gel liim into ihe library, good Sleplien," said Raleigh, 
 *' and say lliat I am dressing, and will be with him in the in- 
 slanl." 
 
 "That will I, without fail," responded the other, and im- 
 mediately he was heard hastening away. 
 
 " Now, Bess, my life," exclaimed Sir Walter, catching hold 
 of her arm, " I must be so ungallant as to hurry thee from 
 the house ; for if the lord treasurer were to get but a hint of 
 thy being here, it must needs come to the queen's ears, and 
 then it would go hard for us both." So saying, he hastened 
 with her — not witliout saying many endearing words by the 
 way, which doubtless were mightily refreshing to her affec- 
 tionate nature — to the little door that opened unto the river; 
 at the which he parted with her, and her father, and Alice ; 
 who straightway proceeded into their barge, and continued 
 their journey, whilst he hurried back; and after going through 
 other passages, and up a flight of steps, joined his visiter in 
 the library. 
 
 The Lord Burghley was at the time a man getting to be 
 aged, and of some infirmities also. His beard was very sil- 
 very, and broad at the bottom ; and his face much wrinkled, 
 pale, and of an exceeding grave aspect ; his head, which 
 seemed to be scant of hair, was covered with a close cap of 
 black velvet (whereof the points came down over his ears), 
 on the top of which was a rounded hat, with a fair jewel set 
 in the centre. Below his ruff his gown was fastened, having 
 the royal arms embroidered on the right side; over which he 
 wore a goodly chain of gold, and a broad sash, from the left 
 shoulder to the right hip ; and in his hand he carried a white 
 wand. He had sat himself down in an easy chair, the which 
 a tall, thin, gray-headed old serving-man, who stooped much, 
 had placed for his use ; and seemed, with marvellous shrewd 
 looks, to be scrutinising every thing in the room ; and certes 
 there was a multitude of things opposite in their natures, tiie 
 close approximation of the which would have been a marvel to 
 many : for above a vast heap of romances of love, and chi- 
 valry, and the like, was the model of a ship ; — then, upon a 
 pile of grave philosophers and ancient historians, there peeped 
 out a portion of a quaint dress for a masque; — here lay a 
 theorbo, and by it a small piece of ordnance ; — there a silver 
 tankard, wrought with the story of Bacchus and Ariadne. 
 Ovid's Art of Love lay on a shelf, with a jewelled dagger in 
 it to mark the page; and between the leaves of Plato his 
 
128 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 works, in the original Greek, was seen parPof the gold case 
 of a lady's miniature. In one corner were divers pikes and 
 halberds, with a torn banner taken from the enemy ; in another, 
 a mass of ore, brought from the country of Guiana by a Spa- 
 niard, and one or two large shells foimd on the American 
 shore ; — in this, a right handsome arbalest, the handle of 
 which was of ivorjs very dainlil}'^ carved, — with a quiver full 
 of arrows ; and in that a lot of swords, pieces, and the like 
 sanguinary weapons, resting upon a roll of madrigals, with a 
 leaf exposed, having on it part of the words and music of 
 that admirable composition of the truly melodious Master 
 Dowland, *' Awake, sweet Love." 
 
 On parts of the carved wainscot, there were framed and 
 hung up certain views of the invincible armada being discom- 
 fited by the English fleet — charts of the Spanish main — 
 drawings of the coast of Virginia — and a right exquisite por- 
 trait of Queen Elizabeth, looking wondrous handsome and 
 majestical, riding upon horseback, as she appeared at Tilbury 
 Fort. There was no lack of tables and chairs in the room, 
 but most of them were covered with such a host of ancient 
 books and weapons, with here and there a case of toothpicks, 
 or a delicate pouncet-box; — pistols and perfumes lying side 
 by side, or a French trinket resting upon a Hebrew psalter, 
 with a vast quantity of papers, as would be tedious to de- 
 scribe minutely. 
 
 *' My master will be with you anon, an' it please you, my 
 lord," said the old serving-man, very respectfully. 
 
 *' Humph !" exclaimed the lord treasurer, drawing in his 
 lips very tight, and still regarding everything about him with 
 an unmoved countenance. 
 
 " He is but now a dressing, and bade me say, that he would 
 not lose an instant in the cominir." 
 
 "Ho!" ejaculated my Lord Burghley, lowering his chin 
 and throwing out his lips. 
 
 *' And for a surety, he is always to be depended upon in 
 his word, an' it please you, my lord," continued the other. 
 *' For though I have served him since he hath been but a boy, 
 as it were, never knew I him to fail in the keeping of it." 
 
 " Ha !" cried the old lord, nodding his head with a sort of 
 complacency. 
 
 " And when he employeth himself on the business of the 
 queen — to whom be all honour and glory in this world and 
 the next," added Stephen, reverentially, and proud to be al- 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 129 
 
 lowed to have speech with the great Lord Burghley. ♦' I 
 have known him to be quite put out, should there be any 
 let which would delay him but a moment." 
 
 " Humph !" exclaimed my lord, still very gravely. 
 
 •♦ Therefore, it be certain, out of all contradiction, he will 
 be here straight ; an' it please you, my lord." 
 
 " Ho !" said the lord treasurer. 
 
 " And, here he is," concluded the serving-man, as he heard 
 his master's footstep approaching the door. 
 
 "Ha!" cried my Lord Burghley. Thereupon, Stephen, 
 respectfully went out as Sir Walter Raleigh entered. The 
 lord treasurer budged not an inch as the other approached 
 him, nor spoke a word, nor altered he his countenance, nor 
 took he off his hat. 
 
 " I have first to thank you, my good lord, for the honour 
 you have done me — in paying my poor house a visit," said 
 Sir Walter, drawing a chair close to his guest, and sitting 
 himself therein. " For, truly may it be said that where the 
 Lord Burghley cometh, he bringeth honour M'ith him — for 
 he bringeth the superlatively wisest statesman of his age, 
 w'hich I take to be the honourablest of all titles of honour." 
 
 " Humph !" exclaimed the lord treasurer. 
 
 " And, next," continued his host, " I must make my ex- 
 cuses for keeping you waiting — but I made not the stop any 
 longer than I could help for mine own sake, believe me ; for 
 know I well, that every minute that keepeth me from such 
 excellent good society, depriveth me of more true wisdom 
 than a week's hard study could make up." 
 
 ♦' Ho !" ejaculated the other. 
 
 " The queen, out of her own bountiful humour, hath given 
 me expectation of your coming," added Sir Walter, " de- 
 siring me to put you in possession of certain matters touch- 
 ing my expedition to Panama, in the which I intend doing 
 the villanous Spaniards great hurt, and coming back, fear 
 not that I shall fail in despoiling them of the Plate fleet — to 
 the exceeding enrichment of her majesty's exchequer." 
 
 " Ha !" cried Lord Burghley. 
 
 " The matter stands thus — the gentlemen adventurers, 
 who with me, have subscribed the necessary moneys for 
 this golden undertaking, with her majesty's high sanction, 
 have promoted me to be their admiral : and I, desirous that 
 its good effects should not fail for want of a sufficiency of 
 means, did seek of her majesty, on profitable conditions, 
 
130 smakspeare 
 
 such assistance in men, ships, and warlike stores, as seemed 
 unto me to be necessary." 
 
 ♦♦ Humph !" exclaimed the lord treasurer. 
 
 " And her majesty, with exceeding liberality, as I take it, 
 hath condescended to promise me six of her ships, well ap- 
 pointed in all respects, under the command of Sir John 
 Burgh, who is to be our vice-admiral." 
 
 " Ho !" cried the old lord. 
 
 " For the which we are willing to allow her one half of 
 the profits of the expedition, arising either from the plunder 
 of the town, or the taking of ships — which, doubtless, will 
 amount to a sum far exceeding that which has been gained 
 by any similar adventure." ^ 
 
 «' Ha !" said my Lord Burghley. 
 
 Sir Walter Raleigh then, at considerable length, described 
 the nature of the proposed undertaking, its manifest advan- 
 tages, — the number of ships and men to be employed — the 
 officers engaged, and all concerning the expedition to the 
 minutest particular ; to the which the lord treasurer not only 
 listened with his gravity undisturbed ; but drawing in his 
 mouth tight, as if he were afraid something should drop out 
 of it, he replied only with a *' Humph !" a " Ho !" or, a 
 " Ha !" as the case might be. It be out of all manner of 
 doubt that my Lord Burghley could speak right eloquently 
 when he chose; but he was exceeding chary of his dis- 
 course when he fancied it was not necessary for him to 
 open his lips. Thus did he preserve the wonderful tacitur- 
 nity with which he was gifted, throughout the whole of the 
 time; and looking very grave the whilst, as if he was taken 
 up with some deep thinking, with a slight inclination of 
 his head, he raised himself from the chair, and leaning on 
 his host for support, he walked to the gates, where he 
 mounted his pony which a serving-man had in waiting for 
 him, and immediately rode off. 
 
AriD HIS FF.iENDS. 131 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 Sir, you did take mc up, wlien I was nothing ; 
 
 And only yet am something by being yours, 
 
 You trusted me unknown ; and that which you were apt 
 
 To construe a simple innocence in me 
 
 Perhaps, might have been craft, tlie cunning of a boy 
 
 Hardened in lies and theft : yet ventured you 
 
 To part my miseries and me. 
 
 BEArMo:?T AKD Fletcher. 
 
 To such a place our camp remove 
 
 As will no siege abide ; 
 1 hate a fool who starves her love 
 
 Only to feed her pride. 
 
 Sir John Sccklisr. 
 
 Master Francis was so well pleased with his visit to the 
 playhouse, that when he returned to St. Mary Axe, he cared 
 not a fig's end for the rating that the old man gave him for 
 having tarried so long ; and after he laid him down on his 
 humble pallet of rushes, he could not sleep a wink for think- 
 ing of the gallant Sir Walter Raleigh and the noble Shak- 
 speare ; the brave sight he had of Q,ueen Elizabeth, and all 
 the fine lords and ladies, knights and gentlemen ; and the 
 droll things he had seen among the players ; and then he 
 sat about building of castles in the air, whereof he pleased 
 himself mightily ; for though of a modest disposition, — the 
 which accorded well with the humbleness of his fortunes 
 since he had recollection ; — yet the mystery of his parentage 
 sometimes inclining him to believe himself of notable descent, 
 and at other times filling him with a dread that he was the 
 deserted offspring of some wretched adventurer, made him 
 irritable upon any slight, and more proud than seemed be- 
 coming to one of his state. His nature was very affection- 
 ate without doubt, yet was he exceeding sensitive of ofTence, 
 and the excess of regard with which he looked on those who 
 did him a kindness, disposed him the more readily to yield 
 himself to impressions of an opposite tendency. I say thus 
 much here, to put the courteous reader on his guard against 
 expecting too much of him ; for I am not one of those that 
 bring on the picture such monstrous perfect creatures as do 
 some, the like of which hath eye never seen in this world ; 
 for I put not finer feathers on the bird than nature hath 
 given him. If he hath faults, all the better, — for being of 
 
132 - SHAKSPEARB, 
 
 tender years, then is there the greater chance that he may 
 mend. But, mayhap, this shall be seen in the upshot. 
 
 The cock had crowed more than once, yet still Master 
 Francis continued at his airy speculations — this moment did 
 he discover his unknown parent to be of great estate, and 
 publicly was acknowledged to be his only son and heir, 
 with the great rejoicing of a fine assembly — then, all daintily 
 attired, he was a taking his leisure in a fair pleasance, with 
 his adored Joanna, very lovingly, having his true friend, 
 Harry Daring, in the back ground, after he had been doing 
 of a good office even unto his much misliked acquaintance, 
 Ralph Goshawk — again he was with Master Shakspeare and 
 the players, receiving their congratulations on the success of 
 a tragedy they had brought out for him, which had taken 
 hugely with the spectators — and now he was with Sir 
 Walter Raleigh in some place of office at court, discoursing 
 very prettily on matters of state, and bearing it among the 
 gallants as bravely as the best of them. Thus passed he 
 the time till he was stirred up by the shrill voice of his 
 uncle from below stairs, abusing him soundly for a lie-a-bed : 
 at the which he got up and employed himself at the neces- 
 sary drudgery of his miserly kinsman, till it was nigh unto 
 the hour he was desired to go to Durham House, when, 
 seeking occasion to be sent of an errand, in the which he 
 succeeded so far as to be required to importune one who 
 lacked the will or the means of paying — a thing he was oft 
 obliged to do, yet never had any heart for — he proceeded on 
 his way. 
 
 He had passed beyond the Temple Bar before the anxious- 
 ness which he was in allowed him to notice much what 
 happened as he went, or the notable places in his progress : 
 but as he now thought of the necessity of looking out for 
 the place he was in search of, he soon found himself passing 
 Essex House, then Arundel House — goodly mansions both ; 
 and then Somerset House (a right handsome pile), and the 
 palace of the Savoy ; and keeping along the garden walls 
 attached to Worcester House, he got to Salisbury House ; 
 and a very delicate sight it was to notice these and other 
 fine buildings on the banks of the Thames, with famous 
 gardens and grounds (intersected by running streams) that 
 went down to the water's edge ; then keeping Covent 
 Garden and the Strand Cross at his right, with the Maypole 
 in the distance, he passed by the Ivy Bridge, and presently 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 133 
 
 sjtood before a truly noble structure, which the passengers 
 and wayfarers he had questioned of his way, told him was 
 Durham House. In truth, it must needs be a notable fine 
 building, having been an inn of the bishops of Durham ; and, 
 latterly, the residence of the once mighty John Dudley, Earl 
 of Northumberland. 
 
 On gaining admittance at the wicket he was sharply ques- 
 tioned of several tall servjng-men, clad in gay liveries, with 
 silver badges on their left arms, who seemed loath to let one 
 of his humble appearance have speech with their master. 
 
 "Ho, Roger! Timothy! Gabriel I Thomas! what now, I 
 say ]" called out old Stephen, as he slowly advanced towards 
 the group, scanning them with a somewhat displeased aspect, 
 " have ye so little respect for our master's house that ye 
 loiter here gossiping together, whilst your duties stand un- 
 attended to? In with ye, idlers?" 
 
 " Here be a stranger, Stephen Shortcake, that seeketh our 
 master," cried Roger. 
 
 " And he will have it Sir Walter bade him come," ex- 
 claimed Timothy. 
 
 " And he ventureth to say that he hath business with him," 
 said Gabriel. 
 
 " Worse than all, he will not budge till he hath had speech 
 of him," added Thomas. 
 
 " And who bade you be an hindrance to him 1" asked 
 Stephen sharply, after he had sufficiently scrutinised the 
 modest demeanour of Master Francis. " Have I not told 
 ye, many a time and oft, that when a stranger presented 
 himself seeking Sir Walter, and ye had doubts of his errand, 
 ye were to call mel Away with ye, knaves, and attend 
 to the wants of our master's guests." Then, as soon as 
 the serving-men had disappeared into the house, which 
 they did in marvellous quick time, the old man courteously 
 addressed Master Francis thus : " I pray you, good youth, 
 be not vexed at the churlishness of those. varlets ; follow me, 
 if it please you, and I will take care you shall have oppor- 
 tunity to speak with Sir Walter; but that cannot be at 
 present, for he hath with him a power of noble commanders, 
 sea captains, men of war, and the like, talking upon pressing 
 matters. If your business be not too urgent, doubtless it 
 may tarry a while and no loss happen." 
 
 •'I would willingly wait Sir Walter Raleigh's leisure," 
 replied the youth. 
 
 VOL. I. 12 
 
134 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 " Then come you with me and welcome," said Stephen. 
 ♦' But let me tell you, without meaning offence in it, that at 
 the present there be no vacancy for a serving-man." 
 
 " I seek no such office," answered the youth, rather 
 proudly ; indeed so little did his ambition relish the idea of 
 being considered only worthy to be a serving-man, that he 
 stopped of a sudden, and seemed inclined to turn back and 
 give over all hope of advancement from that quarter. 
 
 *' Nay, take it not ill of me, I pray you," exclaimed the old 
 man, who saw, by the confusion in the youth's countenance, 
 thai that which he had given utterance to iiad created some 
 unpleasantness, " for all that you be not so bountifully gar- 
 nished as many who come here on such a seeking, I could 
 swear at a glimpse, you are well worthy a better hap. Come 
 on, I entreat you ; and though 1 be but Stephen Shortcake, 
 yet having served Sir Waller Raleigh a long service, and I 
 trust, I may add a faithful, he hath of his excellent goodness 
 thought proper to advance me to his confidence, and to the 
 ofBce of butler; I may without presumption say I have some 
 influence with him ; and if I could do aught for you, be- 
 lieve me I shall be well inclined to say a good word in your 
 behalf." 
 
 " I am thankful for your kind offer," replied Master Fran- 
 cis ; and then, with an effort to conquer the disagreeableness 
 of his feelings, he advanced with his companion inio the 
 house. The old butler appeared to be vastly taken with the 
 youth ; but his quiet pensive countenance and his tali and 
 elegant figure, were enough to have made friends for him 
 wherever he went. 
 
 " Come you with me, good sir," continued Stephen Short- 
 cake, *' I will see that your business be attended to at the 
 
 first fitting lime, and" Here he brake off his speech at 
 
 once, for coming to the door of the house as Sir Walter Ra- 
 leigh and some friends were leaving it, he hastened to open 
 the gates, and Master Francis drew aside to let the com- 
 pany pass. 
 
 "I will see that every thing is got ready with proper 
 speed," said a very valiant-looking gentleman, as he walked 
 along. 
 
 "Thanks, Sir John Burgh," replied Sir Waller, *' I have 
 set my all upon this cast, and so many brave spirits have em- 
 barked with me in the adventure, with large portions of their 
 substance, that I am exceeding anxious nothing should be 
 wanting to give us the end we look for." 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 135 
 
 "0* my life, Sir Waller, I long to have a liand in il," said 
 another, of the like pallant nature. 
 
 "That wish I of ail things, Sir IMartin Frobisher," answer- 
 ed Raleigh, " for know I of an indisputable truth 'twould 
 greatly be to our advantage could we count upon such profita- 
 ble assistance." Then with many courtesies, which none 
 knew better how to use, he saw them leave the gates. 
 
 " See I not he of whom mine esteemed friend Master 
 Shakspeare spoke but yesterday?" inquired Sir Walter Ra- 
 leigh, stopping before the youth and regarding him somewhat 
 kindly, as well as with attention. 
 
 " If it please you, I am," replied Master Francis, now look- 
 ing and feeling much abashed. 
 
 " Master Shakspeare hath given me good account of you," 
 continued Sir Walter, " and I am well disposed in conse- 
 quence thereof to do you what good office lieth in my ability. 
 I am in want of a secretary. Think you you should like to 
 venture yourself in that capacity ?" 
 
 " I doubt much I am quite fit for it," answered the youth 
 with a very sincere modesty. 
 
 " Of your sufficiency, from what hath been said in your 
 behalf, I can have no question," said Raleigh, much pleas- 
 ed at the other's behaviour, " therefore if it accord with 
 your inclination, be sure of having liberal treatment. Are you 
 content ?" 
 
 " Indeed, I am delighted to such a measure" — 
 
 " Enough !" exclaimed Sir Walter, good-humouredly inter- 
 rupting him, as he saw from his manner there was no doubt 
 of his satisfaction ; then turning to his butler, who stood re- 
 spectfully at a little distance, added, " Stephen, see that Mas- 
 ter Francis hath all things proper as my secretary." 
 
 "I will lose no time upon it, an't please you. Sir Walter," 
 replied the old man cheerfully. 
 
 "I will myself instruct you in your duties," added his 
 patron, " but at present you must go with Stephen, who will see 
 you want for nothing." Having said this very encouragingly, 
 he went into the house tojoin his guests. 
 
 ** I congratulate you, sweet sir," exclaimed Stephen Short- 
 cake, as soon as his master was gone. " Think not ill of me 
 for fancying you driven to such extreme shifts as what I spoke 
 of. I did it out of no unkindness lo you, or slight upon your 
 merit, believe me. When vou know me well enough, I doubt 
 not you shall give me credit for better intentions." 
 
136 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 "Indeed I am in too pleasant a raood to think of it," re- 
 plied Master Francis, who was as rejoiced at this favourable 
 turn in his fortunes as may be conceived of him. It was just 
 that sort of employment he had most inclination for, and 
 that seemed to give his ambitious hope the most ground to 
 build upon. 
 
 " I pray you, good sir, follow me,*' said the old butler, " I 
 must about my master's bidding — so while he is engaged 
 with the noble lords and the men of war, I will see that you 
 have proper entertainment." Then entering the house (talk- 
 ing a fair part of the time) he led Master Francis through di- 
 vers spacious rooms, furnished very costly, and along sundry 
 passages, wherein were many serving-men, dressed like those 
 before spoken of (some of whom he reproved sharply for not 
 seeming sufficiently attentive to their duties), till he entered a 
 chamber of more humble appearance. 
 
 "I would fain find you more honourable lodging," observed 
 Stephen, " but this being my room, and one in which you 
 are not like to meet intruders, methought 'twould be best. I 
 pray you put up with it for the nonce — feel as content in it 
 as you may, and when all proper provision be made for your 
 residence with us, then shall you be more becomingly accom- 
 modated." 
 
 Master Francis found no dissatisfaction in the chamber, 
 which in truth was well stored with comforts, so that when 
 Stephen Shortcake left him with a courteous excuse for his 
 absence, he flung himself in a convenient chair, .and did make 
 comparisons with it and the room he had at his uncle's, in 
 the which the former gained prodigiously, as may be sup- 
 posed. He then gave himself up to his own reflections, 
 which were gratifying to him in a very prodigal measure. 
 He felt like a prisoner that halh cast oflf his gyves, and is a 
 free man, afier a long and terrible imprisonment ; for he had 
 got away from his miserly old kinsman, who had led him a 
 pretty life of it — so far as his remembrance might go. Then 
 his thoughts reverted to his adored Joanna, and he for some 
 time found very exquisite satisfaction in imagining how pleased 
 she would be to know of his success. Here I must leave 
 him for awhile — for what may be thought more attractive 
 matter. 
 
 It was about the afternoon of the same day that a gallant 
 well-dressed, without affectation, of a free carriage and noble 
 aspect, somewhat careless in his demeanour, yet evidently 
 
AND HIS FRIEND3. 137 
 
 meaning no sort of ofTence, in fact, no other than Master 
 Shakspeare himself, was seen walking up and down upon 
 London Bridge, now looking in at the sh.ops, and sauntering 
 about the houses there, with very nuich the look of one who 
 is in waiting for another. lie amused himself for some time 
 witii regarding llie passengers, whether of foot or on horse, 
 and speculating from their looks of what disposition they 
 might be : but he seemed to tire of this at last — as who will 
 not tire who is kept an unconscionable time wailing for one 
 who delays coming ? and after looking wistfully several times 
 towards the city side of the bridge, as it seemed, without 
 avail, he was on the point of leaving the place with what phi- 
 losophy he might, when all at once his look brightened up 
 wonderfully, and with the pleasantest air possible, he made 
 for a very pretty woman, well and daintily attired, who was 
 approaching him. " Thanks, my sweet, for this coming!'* 
 exclaimed he gallantly, as he took his place by her side, and 
 tliey walked together. " But in honest truth I had like to 
 have been out of patience." 
 
 " If you loved me but half as well as you have sworn you 
 have," replied slie in an admirable soft voice, " you would 
 iiave had patience enough to have tarried here till doom's day 
 — and longer than that. But I was detained, gentle sir, or I 
 would have been truer to mine appointment." 
 
 *' I doubt it not," said Master Shakspeare, " and the de- 
 light I now enjoy in gazing on your perfections doth counter- 
 balance whatever disquietude 1 found in your delay. Truly 
 never hath true lover suffered as I have since iliat most en- 
 dearing hour I chanced to meet you seeing the archery in 
 Finsbury Fields. Methought the queen's company of liege 
 bowmen showed marvellous skill ; but it hath since been 
 made known to me, that there was one nearer than they, 
 whose archery beat them hollow." 
 
 *• An excellent fine conceit, by my troth," exclaimed his 
 fair companion, laughingly, " and cometh with marvellous 
 good grace from one who out of all contradiction draweth ' the 
 long bow' very prettily." 
 
 " O' my life I swear to you" — 
 
 " Nay, swear not, good sir," cried the other, interrupting 
 him, '* for that be somewhat more than is required of you. 
 Would you not take oath upon it that mine eyes outflash the 
 diamond, my lips ruddier than the cherry, and that my cheek 
 putteth to shame the blushing of the rose ?" 
 
 12*^ 
 
138 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 " Doubtless would I," replied he, looking upon her fea- 
 tures ; which in truth were exceeding comely. 
 
 "And think you I can find interest in that I have heard so 
 oft ?" inquired she. " Other gallants have I met with wlio 
 were of such bountiful disposition that they v^ould put all na- 
 ture into disgrace for allowing me to leave her excellences so 
 far behind. Was not that liberal of them ? But methinks it 
 would have sounded better from their lips had their object 
 been as generous as their words. They would have had me 
 believe myself a deity forsooth ; but had I granted their 
 prayers, what a poor idol of clay I should quickly have been 
 thought." 
 
 Master Shakspeare said nothing; but he marvelled greatly 
 at the tone and manner of the speaker — the which differing 
 from his experience, made him the more inclined to a nearer 
 intimacy. 
 
 " Count me not as one of those, I pray you," he exclaimed 
 at last. " I look upon you as a truly admirable woman ; one 
 withal no woman's son could look on without admiring, and 
 could not admire without loving desperately. Then as for 
 comparisons between your excellences and those of nature, I 
 do assert, and hope to live and die in that opinion, that of all 
 fair things that give beauty to this flowery earth, the loveli- 
 ness of woman exceedeth them infinitely. Place side by side 
 with those thrilling orbs the brightest stone that ever glisten- 
 ed in the sunbeam, and while the spectator admireth the latter 
 only for its brilliance, lie must find quickly that he cannot gaze 
 upon the warmer and more glorious radiance of your eyes, 
 without feeling the flood of life rushing through his veins like 
 a mighty river breaking from its banks. The one hath no 
 expression — the other hath a thousand. And let him who 
 preferreth fruits and flowers, note the honey-sweet smile that 
 playeth round those tempting lips, or press the eloquent soft- 
 ness of those blushing cheeks, and I will wager my life on it 
 he will presently leave the poor unloving things he hath so 
 much admired, for the rich beauty of such delicate flesh" and 
 blood as it is now my happiness to behold." 
 
 *' r faith these are brave words," replied his fair compa- 
 nion. " But I doubt not you would say as much to any other 
 that taketh your fancy for the while." 
 
 "You much abuse me by that opinion," said Master Shak- 
 speare. 
 
 " Yet will I acknowledge to you," added she, " that you 
 have in some way pleased me. Your language and bearing 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 139 
 
 differ from all I have had acquaintance with save one; and I 
 live in hopes that you are of a belter sort. 'Tis strange that 
 you have never told me your name." 
 
 " Not more so can it be than that you have refrained from 
 telling me yours," observed he. 
 
 " Mine is Joanna," added the other. 
 
 *' Joanna !" exclaimed Master Shakspeare, as if he had 
 heard the name before, for in truth he had, but had forgot the 
 occasion of it; *' and what else ?" 
 
 ♦' No matter — that is enough to call me by," replied she. 
 " And now, if it please you, yours." 
 
 " Mine is William." 
 
 " William what?" inquired Joanna. 
 
 " No matter — that is enough to call me by," replied Master 
 Shakspeare with a smile, 
 
 *' You will not say?" she asked, as if she was curious to 
 know. "Then must I take my leave of you, for I am in 
 haste to return home." 
 
 " Let me at least see you to the street in which you dwell," 
 said he, as he was standing with her at the end of the bridge. 
 "I should hold myself but a sorry gallant to leave so fair a 
 creature to find her way home unattended." 
 
 " Oh, if your name is such that it may not be told, the 
 sooner we part company the better for me," observed Joanna, 
 smiling in her turn. 
 
 •* Nay, it is not so bad as that, believe me," answered the 
 other. " In truth, I may say, it is a name in some repute. 
 But it may just as well be told walking as standing." And 
 at that, she hesitated not to proceed onwards. "Doth it not 
 strike you," he continued, " that what is fair in one case is 
 honest in another ; for as you have given me but your Chris- 
 tian name, have I given you but mine ; and yet are you not 
 content." 
 
 " Were you as well disposed towards me as you have as- 
 serted," observed his fair companion, who, as is usual, grew 
 more inquisitive the longer her curiosity remained ungrati- 
 fied, " you would have made no question about the matter. 
 r faith it says but little for your regard. Methinks you must 
 either have an ill name, or hold me of so little account, that 
 you think me undeserving of knowing you." 
 
 "Neither, o' my life!" exclaimed Master^ Shakspeare. 
 " Never met I a pretty woman I so much desired to be well 
 known unto — and as for my name, I do assure you it standeth 
 well in the public estimation." 
 
140 "^ SHAKSPEARE 
 
 " By my trolli 'lis liord to credit," replied Jonnnn, lIioiig?i 
 the more intent from wliat he said, of getting the knowledge 
 she required. Just at that moment the Lord Southampton, 
 the Lord Pembroke, and other noble gallants, to whom he 
 was well known, came riding by very finely apparelled, and 
 pulled off their hats to him. " Know you those princely- 
 looking gentlemen ?" she inquired. 
 
 *• It is mine excellent good friend the Lord Southampton, 
 and certain of his acquaintance," replied he : at which she 
 became all the more curious, and as thev arrived at the corner 
 of Eastcheap, she said, " Here is the street in which I live, 
 where I must leave you; but your name hath not yet been 
 told to me." 
 
 " Nay, let me behold the dwelling in which lives so inesti- 
 mable a creature," asked the other very pressingly. *' And 
 as for my name — it may be told in one street as well as in 
 another," and they continued to walk together. 
 
 *' What a place for traffic is this !" exclaimed Master Shak- 
 speare, "and how busy do the citizens seem in the differenl 
 shops and warehouses! Methinks I can hear the chink of the 
 money; or at least the ready laugh of the chapman at his 
 customer's jest. 'J'hese be they, fair Joanna! who are up 
 early and late, labouring to the utmost every day of their lives 
 that others may have the advantage of it — whose greatest 
 pleasure consisteth in the counting their gains, and greatest 
 consolation is the knowing that they are worth something 
 more than their neighbours. These be they who are ac- 
 quainted with no virtue unless it be in the possession of wealth ; 
 and believe there cannot be any vice so abominable as poverty. 
 In their idea, aldermen are on a footing with angels ; and to be 
 in the city compter is to be damned to all eternity. They will 
 wink at one who defrauds the orphan and robs the widow of 
 her right, if he hath done it to some tune ; but at the neces- 
 sitous wretch, who is driven to do any small villany, they 
 shout, * Oh, the horrid rogue !' and would have him hanged 
 forthwith. A man who hath his thousands might turn his 
 wife and children into the street, and live as sensually as he 
 pleased, and they would never wag a tongue at him ; but if 
 another, who liveth honestly with what little he gains, be but 
 suspected of kissing a pretty wench on the sly, they would 
 raise such a hubbub about his ears, and would seem so shock- 
 ed at his iniquity, that the poor fellow should be right glad to 
 escape out of the city with a whole skin. These be they— 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 141 
 
 bul why slop you here ?" he inquired suddenly, finding that 
 his companion proceeded no further. 
 
 "This is the house in which I live," replied she, who had 
 not been inattentive to what had passed. " But shame upon 
 you for keeping me unanswered ! you have not told rae your 
 name yet." 
 
 " O' my life I am exceeding tired, fair Joanna," said Mas- 
 ter Shakspeare» "It would be but a charily to ask me in— 
 and as for my name — why it may as well be told silling as 
 walking." 
 
 It is scarcely necessary to add that Master Shakspeare was 
 ushered up stairs into the best room ; in the which he quickly 
 made himself at home, as may be believed. Indeed, Joanna 
 found his conversation so agreeable, that for a time she quite 
 forgot to ask his name of him; but in truth he gave her not 
 the opportunity, for as soon as one subject seemed about to be 
 exhausted, he launched cut with another; and displayed such 
 abundance of wit, genius, and knowledge of the world, that 
 she appeared quite in amaze with wonder and admiration. 
 
 " Since you talk so well upon poetry," said she, when she 
 found opportunity for speech, "I have some lines here of 
 which I should like mightily to have your judgment." Then 
 from a drawer she look a paper, which she brought towards 
 him ; and added, " they were writ by a worthy gentleman, 
 who doth fancy, much after your own fashion, that he is in 
 love with me, and pays me such fine compliments, as you 
 will therein peruse. Perhaps you also write verses ?" 
 
 "A. little," replied Master Shakspeare with a smile; and, 
 believing that he had a rival in the field, he opened the paper. 
 His astonishment may in some degree be conceived when it 
 is known that he began to read the very poem he liad given 
 to Master Burbage. He saw in an instant how the affair 
 stood, and was in no small degree amused thereat. 
 
 •' What think you of them ?" inquired Joanna. 
 
 " O' my life, 1 think of them very indifferently," answered 
 he. 
 
 ♦'Indeed!" she exclaimed with some surprise, *♦ I marvel 
 at that, for they seem lo me admirably ingenious. By my 
 troth, between ourselves, 1 have my doubts that they were 
 writ by him who brought them me ; for he seemeth such a 
 mad, hair-brained, wild, wilful gallant. I have given him but 
 monstrous little encouragement, yet doth he go on at such a 
 rate, one would think lu; was in so poor a case for the love of 
 
142 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 me, that he would be a knocking at death's door unless I 
 smiled upon him." 
 
 " Oh, the exaggerating varlet !" cried the other, laughing 
 exceedingly as he compared in his own mind Master Bur- 
 bage's statement with what he liad just heard. 
 
 " And when I told him I doubted his authorship," continued 
 his fair companion, " He swore by Apollo and all the Nine 
 that he wrote every line on't ; and that it was the worst stuff 
 he ever did." 
 
 *' He said that, did he !" exclaimed Master Shakspeare. 
 
 *' Ay, that he did," added Joanna ; " and moreover, vowed 
 to me most solemnly that he was considered such an exquisite 
 fine hand at the making of verses, that his friend Will Shak- 
 speare, among many others, was oft obliged to borrow a line 
 of him, when he came to a halt in his measure." 
 
 *' Oh ! Dick, Dick, Dick," cried he, in more a subdued 
 voice. 
 
 " And when I asked of him his opinion of Master Shak- 
 speare and his plays," continued the other, " he answered 
 slightingly, ' Why, a — to be sure, he was very well ; but no 
 one knows how much he hath been beholden to me for all his 
 best verses.' " 
 
 "If he deserved not cudgelling for this, then am I no judge 
 of merit," exclaimed Master Shakspeare ; *' but of course you 
 know him, fair Joanna?" 
 
 *' He hath told me that he was one of the queen's players," 
 replied she ; " but else I know of him as little as I do of you. 
 Tell me, 1 pray you, of what name you are, for in truth I am 
 near tired of asking." 
 
 ♦' Hush !" cried he, " there cometh some one to the door;" 
 for a knocking was heard at that moment. 
 
 " 'Tis he," replied the mercer's daughter, *' and till now I 
 had forgot he promised to pay me a visit." 
 
 " Hist ! hist! Joanna," cried a voice from the other side of 
 the door, " 'tis, I, Richard the Third." 
 
 "'Tis Dick, sure enough," thought Master Shakspeare: 
 then whispering to his fair companion, — "Leave him lo me, 
 I pray you," he advanced softly to the door. 
 
 " Hist ! hist ! adorable Joanna," exclaimed Master Bur- 
 bage through the keyhole, "'tis I, Richard the Third." 
 
 " Go, get thee hence, thou crook-backed tyrant," replied 
 Master Shakspeare aloud; " knowest thou not that William 
 the Conqueror reigned before Richard the Third ?" 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 143 
 
 »* What, Will !" cried the other in the utmost astonish- 
 ment ; " what ill wind brought thee here ! Oh ! thou abhor- 
 red traitor, thou hast betrayed me." 
 
 " Nay, ihou errest in that, Master Dick," responded his old 
 associate, " for knew I not till iliis moment that the truly ado- 
 rable Joanna was known to ihee. But it' 1 had taken advan- 
 tage of thy confidence, it would have been but a proper return 
 for the most atrocious things thou hast said of me to this ex- 
 quisite creature. So gel thee gone, and quickly ; for in truth 
 thou hast interrupted the infinite gratification 1 have been re- 
 ceiving." 
 
 " Oh ! most sweet Joanna," cried Master Burbage, in a 
 marvellous moving voice, " my heart's treasure ! my soul's 
 idol ! my angel upon earth ! my every thing ! 1 do implore 
 you, through the keyhole (because the door is fast, and I can- 
 not get in), by that fathomless ocean of love I bear for your 
 inconceivable excellences, get rid of that villain straight, for it 
 be utter destruction to be seen in his pestilent company." 
 
 " Who is he !" asked she, laughingly ; although she began 
 to have some suspicion of who he was. 
 
 ** The very notoriousest villain that walks, adorable Joan- 
 na," replied he, outside : " he liaih done such mischief among 
 women as you would find it horrible to think on. Item, five- 
 and-twenty maids utterly undone — fifty widows sent stark 
 mad — and a hundred and odd wives made miserable for life. 
 I do assure you, sweet Joanna, that through him there haih 
 lately been such abundance of crowner's quests, that the like 
 liath not been known since the memory of man. Indeed, it 
 be beyond dispute, that half a dozen stout fellows are kept 
 in constant employ, fishing distracted damsels out of the con- 
 duit, such a trailer is he lo your dear sex. And as for hang- 
 ing, the citizens scarce dare leave a nail slicking in their wain- 
 scots, so many of their wives and daughters have of late been 
 found suspended to them, wilh these melancholy words pinned 
 upon their kirlles, — ' Oh ! cruel, cruel Shakspeare.' " 
 
 " Are you such a wretch as this. Master Shakspeare?" in- 
 quired Joanna, as seriously as she could. 
 
 "No, on ray life," replied he, laughing very heartily. 
 
 " Believe him not, dear Joanna," exclaimed Master Bur- 
 bage ; " he hath a tongue that would undo the Gordian knot; 
 therefore your undoing would be but an easy matter with such 
 a thorough villain. Oh ! incomparably sweet Joanna ! here 
 on my bended knees, outside the door, (for lack of being in) 1 
 
144 CHAKSPEARB 
 
 conjure you injure not your delicate reputation by talking to 
 such a fellow. Listen not to what he hath to say, for truth 
 and he are in no sort of acquaintance : he will swear you 
 black's white, such a horrid reprobate is he ; and then, on 
 the instant, turn round and take oath it be crimson. I have 
 preached to him by the hour, in hopes of getting him to re- 
 pent of his viljanies ; but, I say it with tears in my eyes, ado- 
 rable Joanna, he is incorrigible ; and as clean past all good 
 counsel as a chicken with the pip." 
 
 " Prythee go on, Dick," cried Master Shak^'peare, very 
 merrily, his fair companion evidently being in much the same 
 mood ; " I admire thy invention hugely." 
 
 " Out traitor !" exclaimed the other. 
 
 " If I had not heard this, I should have doubted thou wert 
 clever enough to say the witty things thou hast." 
 
 *' Away, villain !" 
 
 " But since I have known thou art such an exquisite 
 fine hand at making verses," continued Master Shakspeare, 
 " that I, of many others, am oft obliged to borrow a line of 
 thee when I happen to come to a halt in my measure ; and 
 remember how much I am beholden to thee for all my best 
 scenes, I marvel not at all at thy present cleverness, and do 
 promise to have a better opinion of thee than I have done." 
 
 " A fico for thy opinion," replied Master Burbage ; " all 
 stratagems are fair in love and war ; and when I gave her 
 thy verses" — 
 
 " What, wrote you not the poem 1" quickly inquired 
 Joanna, interrupting him ; " did you not swear to me by 
 Apollo and all the Nine, that you wrote every line on't, and 
 that it was the worst stuff you ever did 1" 
 
 " What a goose art thou for not keeping thine own coun- 
 sel," said his friend ; " for though thou hast used me very 
 scurvily, I would not have betrayed thee for it." 
 
 " Let me in, I pray you, most exquisite Joanna," exclaimed 
 he through the keyhole, " and I will say such things to you 
 that you shall be satisfied of my behaviour." 
 
 " Nay, if you can put on me Master Shakspeare's lines as 
 your own," said Joanna, " I doubt hugely you can be more 
 sincere in other matters." 
 
 " Pardon me this one small fault," replied he, very mo- 
 vingly, " which I have been led into from exceeding love of 
 your ravishing perfections, and send away that fellow, who, 
 by this hand, is the errantest deceiver that lives ; and let me 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 145 
 
 sec you more commodiously than through the chinks of the 
 door, which in truth afford me but a mere glimpse of your 
 infinite beauties; and if I do not love you for it, in such a 
 sort as will make amends for my transgression, then banish 
 me for ever." 
 
 " Dost take me for thy friend, Dick V inquired Master 
 Shakspeare, leaning against the door. 
 
 " Open the door, and get thee gone, and then thou shalt 
 be held a friend indeed," replied Master Burbage. 
 
 " Well — my bowels yearn towards thee exceedingly," 
 continued the other. 
 
 " Ah ! do they so 1 Thou wert ever a true friend," said 
 he on the outside : •' do open the door, there's a sweet Will." 
 
 " But am I the very notoriousest villain that walks, Dickl" 
 
 " By this light thou art a very angel ! Excellent Will, 
 open the door." 
 
 " And have I really undone so many women as thou hast 
 said V 
 
 " Nay, on my life, thou hast so good a heart, thou wouldst 
 not undo a mouse. Open the door, sweet Will, I prythee." 
 
 " Well, Dick"— 
 
 " What sayest, old friend ?" 
 
 *' For thy consolation in this extremity" — - 
 
 u Ah !" 
 
 "Dost listen, Dick?" 
 
 ♦' With all my ears, excellent Will." 
 
 " I do assure thee — she is — a most — delicious creature.^* 
 
 " Out on thee, thou aggravating — tantalising — abomina- 
 ble caitiff !" cried Master Burbage, impatiently; for Master 
 Shakspeare had said the preceding sentence so slowly, and 
 with such emphasis on the last words ; and the sentence 
 was so different from what he had expected, that he seemed 
 terribly put out at it. " I do forswear thy acquaintance 
 from this. Nay I will not remain another moment in thy 
 villanous neighbourhood ;" and whilst Master Shakspeare 
 and the beautiful Joanna were laughing heartily, Master 
 Burbage made all haste to get out of the house. 
 
 VOL. I. 13 
 
146 SHAKSPi^AKi; 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 I am as I am, and so will I be ; 
 But how that I am none knoweth truly : 
 Be it ill, be it well, be I bond, be I free, 
 I am as I am, and so will I be. 
 ^ Sin Thomas Witatt, 
 
 Fraud showed in comely clothes a lovely look. 
 
 An humble cast of eye, a sober pace ; 
 
 And so sweet speech, a man might her have took 
 
 For him that said, " Hail, Mary, full of grace I** 
 
 But all the rest deformedly did look \ 
 
 As full of filthiness and foul disgrace ; 
 
 Hid under long, large garments that she '^.'■ore. 
 
 Under the which a poisoned knife she bore. 
 
 Sir John Harkingtost. 
 
 Sir Walter Raleigh did find exceeding difficulty in the 
 setting out upon his expedition, for Queen Elizabeth, in no 
 way prodigal of her means where there might be doubt of 
 advantage to her, readily enough listened to the misgivings 
 of Lord Burghley, who was famous for keeping a tight hold 
 upon the treasury ; and the six goodly ships she had pro- 
 mised, dwindled to two. She delayed his starting from time 
 to time, upon some insufficient pretext ; and even seemed 
 inclined, from things that his enemies gave out to his dis- 
 advantage, the instant he had left the court, to take from 
 him the command and give it to another ; but such a pro- 
 ceeding his associates in the adventure would not hear of, 
 as she knew. At last he sailed with a fleet of fifteen sail, 
 whereof two — the Garland and the Foresight — under the 
 command of Sir John Burgh, were those of her majesty's 
 providing; and the rest, with the provision of all things 
 necessary, had been furnished by himself, Sir John Haw- 
 kins, and others his good friends — tiie captains, soldiers, 
 and sailors therein being men of notable resolution, and 
 of sufficient experience in such matters; but contrary winds 
 obliging him to put back, and these continuing to IdIow for 
 a long time, he \vas forced to keep harbour till he could 
 proceed with better hope of success. 
 
 In the mean time there were not wanting those who made 
 the opposition to the elements assume the appearance of 
 culpable neglect in Sir Walter Raleigh, in consequence of 
 which he had barely put to sea again when he was over- 
 
AND niS TRIENDS. ^ 147 
 
 taken by Sir Martin Frobisher in a pinnace of my lord 
 admiral's, called the Disdain, bringing her majesty's letters 
 of i*ecal!, with a command to leave his charge in the hands of 
 her officers. This, it may well be believed, he liked not to 
 do — seeing that he had been in so much trouble and expense 
 (amounting to a third of the whole cost) for the originating 
 and fitting out of the expedition, and was in a manner con- 
 strained not to abandon the interests of his fellow-adven- 
 turers, who had put all their trust in his valour and skilful- 
 ness ; so, fancying he could well excuse himself on his 
 return, he would in no case relinquish his command : but 
 held on his course. Speaking with a vessel from the Azores, 
 he learned that Philip of Spain, getting notice of his expedi- 
 tion, had sent express orders to all the ports of the West 
 India islands, and in Terra Firma, to lay no treasure aboard 
 that year : therefore there could be small hope of getting the 
 Plate fleet : but he turned not back till he met with a dreadful 
 storm athwart Cape Finisterre that sunk some of his boats 
 and pinnaces. Then giving such orders as he thought neces- 
 sary for their future conduct, he put about ship ; still in hope, 
 but exceeding vexed. 
 
 It may well be believed that his beautiful young wife liked 
 not his venturing himself on a voyage at that time, and 
 parted not with him without infinite regret, and some fears 
 of the issue; for Dame Elizabeth was in continual dread that 
 the marriage would be discovered of the queen, whose temper 
 she had much experience of; and doubted not that when she 
 came to know of it, she would be wM-ath, beyond all hope of 
 forgiveness, against her husband. Therefore went she in 
 constant alarm. Never loved woman more devotedly than 
 she loved Sir Walter Raleigh ; and as she could scarcely be 
 brought to allow him to peril his fortunes for her safety — so 
 entire and unselfish was her regard for him — she could do 
 nothing but blame her own affectionateness for having 
 brought him into such a strait. Her chiefest care was to 
 deny her own marriage, which, she knew not how, had got 
 bruited about ; and she made Sir Walter promise, not only 
 to deny it, were he questioned, but by those attentions she 
 knew the queen most liked, to put all thought of it out of her 
 majesty's head. Her father and the merry Alice sought all 
 occasion to second her endeavours, seeing that it was of so 
 much moment to her peace of mind; but all their cares, and 
 all her cousin's pleasant talk, removed not from her the con- 
 
148 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 viction that she had been the ruin of him whose happiness 
 she would have died to secure. 
 
 As for Master Francis — never youth went on so prosper- 
 ously. Sir Walter seeing that he was apt and well disposed, 
 every day took a greater liking to him. He would have him 
 taught under his own eye all gentlemanly accomplishments, 
 in which he had made such rapid progress as delighted him 
 amazingly ; and would frequently discourse to him of such 
 matters as he thought the most likely to be of service here- 
 after. Such a change took place in the scrivener's nephew, 
 that he looked in no way the same person. He dressed in 
 style, with a goodly feather in his hat, and a handsome rapier 
 at his side ; and having mingled continually with gallant 
 knights and gentlemen, some of his shyness began to wear 
 off. In truth, he was as handsome a youth as any of them, 
 though still exceedingly fair and delicate ; the only sign of 
 man in his appearance being a slight moustache on his upper 
 lip — the which, had Gib the call-boy seen, might somewhat 
 have shaken his conviction of Master Francis's fitness to 
 " do the women." 
 
 The duties of Sir Walter Raleigh's secretary consisted in 
 most part of writing letters, keeping a journal of the voyage, 
 and putting down, at his patron's dictation, remarks on such 
 subjects as he was disposed to treat of. Of this employment 
 the young secretary never tired, it was so agreeable to his 
 humour; and so well did he quit himself, that he soon gained 
 Sir Walter's entire confidence. That he thought much of his 
 miserly uncle is not to be expected, but the mercer's daugh- 
 ter was a frequent subject of his reflections ; and his last 
 interview with her oft gave to his memiOry exceeding satiS" 
 faction. He had written to her since several times, and had 
 received from her a few letters — the which, though they were 
 in some degree kind, he liked not, for they appeared unto 
 him scarce kind enough ; but though this gave him no little 
 uneasiness, he doubted not when he returned, to find her 
 every thing he wished. Nothing could exceed the respect 
 and admiration he felt for Sir Walter Raleigh, for he was of 
 that disposition to be most sensible of Sir Walter's friendli- 
 ness towards him ; and his own intelligence which, for his 
 years, was great indeed, enabled him the more correctly to 
 appreciate the other's singular fine genius in all things. 
 
 One evening, as they were homeward bound, they were 
 together in Sir Walter's cabin, which was pleasantly fitted 
 
AND HIS PRFEmJS. 149 
 
 crp with all manner of charts, some few books on choice 
 subjects, and divers instruments necessary for the voyage. 
 Master Francis sat writing at a table that was made fast to 
 the flooring, and which was lighted by a lamp that swung 
 from above ; and his patron walked up and down the room 
 with folded arms and grave aspect, occasionally stopping to 
 dictate sometliing to his secretary which the latter presently 
 put to paper. This had continued for some two hours or 
 more, when Sir Walter stopped in his walk, and the other 
 thinking that he was about to say something of moment, 
 leaning his left arm on the table and holding his pen in readi- 
 ness, in an attitude of profound attention did look up into his 
 patron's face ; but JSir Walter, at that time, thought of no 
 other thing than the pale and pensiv^e countenance of the 
 youth before him, for the light of the lamp falling on it as he 
 sat in that position, gave to him an appearance so delicate 
 that it clean put all other subjects out of his head. 
 
 •' So you know not your parentage ]" said he at last, in a 
 very friendly tone of voice. Master Francis was taken by 
 surprise as it were at this, as he looked for otl^er sort of 
 speech from him ; and his features presently were clouded 
 with a sudden melancholy. 
 
 " Aught more than I have told you, honourable sir, know 
 I not," he replied. 
 
 " 'Tis a strange history," observed the other. 
 
 "In truth it is," said his secretary very dejectedly. 
 
 " I have taxed m)' m.emory more than once," continued 
 Sir Walter, " to see if among all mine acquaintances there 
 was one whose name could answer to the initials you have 
 on the miniature, but with small profit. Certain it is, that 
 when I was seeking to advance the Protestant cause on the 
 plains of Flanders under that experienced soldier, Sir John 
 Norris, in my company there was one Holdfast, whose 
 christian name, methinks, was Francis." 
 
 " Ha !" exclaimed the youth, earnestly. " Perchance it 
 was my father." 
 
 " I doubt it. Master Francis," said Sir Walter, kindly to 
 him. " He was but an indifferent fellow — a mere adven- 
 turer, and a sorry character, by all accounts. It was said 
 of him he had left England to avoid a marriage with some 
 person of poor origin, whom he had undone, and whose re- 
 lations were like to make a stir upon the business." 
 
 "Tis he:" cried his secretary, in very woful fashion; 
 
 13<^ 
 
150 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 for his heart was cast down, and his aspiring thoughts 
 utterly discomfited. 
 
 "Nay, I doubt it hugely," replied his patron. *' This 
 Holdfast was of so contrary a disposition to yourself. He 
 was given to many dishonourable practices — a hanger-on of 
 prodigal youth, whom he fleeced at play ; and a doer of any 
 mean thing by which he might get present profit. I held 
 him in exceeding dislike, and was well pleased, upon proof 
 being shown that he had cheated a companion at the dice, 
 that we got rid of him." 
 
 " Know you what became of him ?" inquired the youth, 
 anxiously. 
 
 " I did hear he had turned Puritan," answered Raleigh, 
 " yet I cannot say whether upon sufficient authority." 
 
 Master Francis was now in most comfortless case, for he 
 did remember that his uncle, in his passions, oft had called 
 him " base-born," and the like ; which made him apt to 
 believe that he was the fruit of some low intrigue ; whereof 
 the thought, to one of his sensitive nature, was scarce to be 
 endured. Seeing that his intelligence had been taken in 
 such sorrowful part, Sir Walter did presently go up to the 
 youth, and laying his hand, in a friendly manner, on the 
 other's shoulder, said, kindly to him : — 
 
 " Be of better heart. Master Francis. If matters turn out 
 so untoward as that your birth should be of such indiffierent 
 sort, mind it not, I pray you. Of your fortunes I will take 
 good heed. But there exists no proof you are of such 
 descent ; and the evidence is not circumstantial enough for 
 me to place much reliance on it." 
 
 " I think it be but too true, honourable sir," replied his 
 secretary. "For mine uncle" 
 
 " What of your uncle. Master Francis 1" inquired his 
 patron, seeing that the other hesitated to say more. 
 
 " In his anger, hath often called me by such vile terms 
 as" 
 
 " Fear nothing," said Sir Walter, encouragingly, " 'tis a 
 friend who listens." 
 
 "Indeed I cannot say it," exclaimed the youth, shaking 
 his head, and looking as if it was too repugnant to his feel- 
 ings to be named. 
 
 " Well, well, as you list," answered Raleigh, raising him- 
 self up ; for he had been leaning over him, and seemed to 
 understand and appreciate his feelings ; " but whatever it 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 151 
 
 be, regard it not ; for a bad man — whicli, from what you 
 have said, I take your kinsman to be, will say any thing in 
 bis passion. It is a certain truth that, in these times, good 
 birth is ever your best recommendation ; but let not this 
 affect you, even if it be your mishap to want it ; which, till I 
 have better warrant for it, will I never believe. It sounds 
 fine, doubtless, to claim kin with a long line of honourable 
 ancestry; but men that have no other merit than this be 
 like unto a growing crop of our new vegetable, the potato 
 — all that is good of them be under ground. How much 
 better is it to be yourself the getter of your own greatness. 
 If you continue to show that commendable nature I have 
 perceived in you, you shall not lack opportunity for honour- 
 able advancement, let your birth be what it may : therefore 
 I would have you think no more of it, but the rather apply 
 yourself to get perfect in such qualifications, as seem the 
 most likely to stand you in good service at a fitting time." 
 Saying which. Sir Walter Raleigh made for the door ; and 
 left the cabin. 
 
 But Master Francis did think more of it : and the more 
 he thought, the more he seemed inclined to think. His am- 
 bition had had a shock, from the which he was not like to 
 recover speedily ; for a notion had got fixed in him, that of 
 all things, ill birth was the most disgraceful (seeing the 
 odium in which it was generally held) ; and he could not 
 endure it should be said of him, that he was the misbegotten 
 child of a paltry cheater. His pride was humbled mightily ; 
 yet did it rise up against such dishonour the more it was 
 cast down at it. It seemed as if he would not be held in 
 such poor esteem of the world, however degraded he felt in 
 his own opinion. He tried to think Holdfast and he could 
 be of no sort of relationship ; yet, in spite of himself a con- 
 viction was forced upon him that the contrary was the 
 truth ; and the fear he had now was, that it should be 
 talked of 
 
 In the meantime the enemies of Sir Walter Raleigh slack- 
 ened not in their endeavours to ruin him with the rjueen. It 
 may appear lo some passing strange that one who, besides 
 being of most notable excellence, sought to do no man ill, 
 should have enemies : but it was in consequence of his 
 towering so much above them in all commendable things, 
 that he was misliked of so many. And as they who longed 
 to ruffle it at court above all others, thought they had no 
 
152 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 chance of it while he was in favour, to whom they stood in 
 such poor comparison, they strove all they could to bring 
 him down, that they might advance themselves upon his 
 ruin. First of these was Sir Robert Cecil, whose ambitious 
 aims would stop at no impediments that craft could over- 
 come; and he was so skilful in his cunning as to be sus- 
 pected of none ; for he seemed to make all around him his 
 tools, to do what he would ; and keeping in obscurity him- 
 self, escaped free from all suspicion. His talents were above 
 the ordinary; but he was ambitious of holding the greatest 
 power in his own hands, and liked not that any should be 
 mightier than he. Next to him was Lord Henry Howard, 
 his associate and sworn coadjutor, one of a good family, 
 being brother of the Duke of Norfolk ; but having been a 
 great spendthrift and profligate, to the ruin of his fortune, 
 made him glad to assist Cecil in his plots and devices to 
 oust Sir Walter Raleigh from his vantage — which he did 
 with exceeding craftiness. In the Lady Howard of Walden 
 they found a fitting helpmate. She was a wom.an of some 
 beauty, but of no principle; and as she believed that Sir 
 Walter had slighted her, she was impatient to be revenged 
 of him. Her close attendance on the queen gave her what 
 opportunity she wanted, and she was only kept back from 
 using it by the counsel of Sir Robert Cecil, who liked not to 
 have it done till matters were more ripe. 
 
 To these were added all the envious, the ambitious, and 
 the vain, who hung about the court, and were ever intriguing 
 to raise themselves upon the disadvantage of another; and 
 these had already made themselves busy with calling in 
 question Raleigh's conduct with the fleet — and not without 
 the eflfect they desired. It was at this time that whispers 
 were set afoot concerning Sir Walter's marriage, and many 
 malicious things were said of the cause of it; but none, as 
 yet, had hinted it to the queen. It was now thought time to 
 bring matters to a push, for her majesty was in some sort 
 displeased with Sir Walter that he had delayed so long with 
 his expedition, and had done nothing, as was yet known of 
 him. Therefore the Lady Howard took occasion, when she 
 was in private with her majesty, to acquaint her with all 
 that she knew between Elizabeth Throckmorton and Sir 
 Walter Raleigh, taking care to aggravate the matter as much 
 as was possible. 
 
 Nothing could exceed the indignation of the queen. She 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 153 
 
 was now pale with anucr, and in a moment red with shame. 
 Every wrinkle in iier face was made conspicuous, she was 
 in such a towering: passion ; and she strode up and down 
 the chamber with haughty steps, now uttering denunciations 
 against her maid of honour, and now denouncing terrible 
 punishment upon her captain of the guard. Her attendant 
 stood by, her dark eyes flashing with pleasure at the storm 
 she had raised, endeavouring, by all manner of spiteful in- 
 sinuations, to increase her majesty's fury against the of- 
 fenders. 
 
 " Nay, by God's wounds, 'tis too bad," exclaimed the 
 queen ; " they shall rue it. Their guilty doings shall have 
 fitting punishment, else we are not Q,ueen of England. And 
 for her, no disgrace can be sufficient for so deep an ofTence 
 — a wanton — a hussy — a creature vile and infamous ! Had 
 she no shame 1 Had she no sense of her wickedness, to 
 commit her villanies so near us, and turn our palace into 
 a O ! it is monstrous !" 
 
 " In truth, I wonder she could ever look her virtuous 
 sovereign in the face," said her ladyship. 
 
 •' Such unblushing impudency never disgraced a Chris- 
 tian court," cried her majesty ; " it exceedeth aught of which 
 we have ever heard ; 'tis most atrocious, horrible, and abo- 
 minable ! What will it be thought of us, if those so near 
 our person take to such vile courses ? Why, it may give a 
 handle to the malignant to say, we are as evil disposed our- 
 selves. Every hair stands on end at the thought of it." 
 
 " I am horror-struck," observed my Lady Howard, look- 
 ing more completely shocked than her royal mistress. 
 
 " Such shameless iniquity deserves to be whipped through 
 the world," continued the queen ; " out opon it ! fie upon 
 the age that doth produce such vile women ! Nay, and for- 
 sooth, if things go on at this rate, there will be neither safety 
 nor honour for us poor virgins." 
 
 " Indeed, I think not, please your majesty," responded her 
 attendant, who, by-the-by, bore no very reputable character ; 
 " and am I the more indignant, when I think what a glorious 
 example she hath before her in your majesty, whose exceed- 
 ing virtuousness should, methinks, have taught her better 
 behaviour." 
 
 " Her extreme vilencss was such that it was beyond all 
 teaching," replied her majesty, sharply; " she was a worth- 
 less baggage from the first, who could profit by no example. 
 
154 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 We are amazed she should ever have ventured herself In 
 our presence: but by all the angels in heaven, she shall 
 suffer for it. As for him, whom we have raised from no- 
 thing, we will let him know, and quickly, that she who 
 makes can mar. The ungrateful caitiff, to carry on his 
 paltry doings with such a Jezebel, in total disregard of his 
 duty to us." 
 
 «' And so near your royal presence too," cried my Lady 
 Howard. 
 
 " Oh ! 'tis most intolerable," exclaimed the queen, in a 
 fresh burst of rage ; " 'tis the horridest — loathsomest piece 
 of villany that ever disgraced a royal palace. What devilish 
 malignity led him into it 'tis not possible to say : but he hath 
 done us foul dishonour in the face of all Europe ; and, by 
 God's wounds, he shall smart for it. The ambassadors will talk 
 of it — it will be a jest for Philip of Spain, — that arch idolater, 
 the pope, will have it preached from the pulpit ; and all the 
 wretched papists abroad and at home will find matter in it 
 for further calumnies of us. Art sure he hath married the 
 wretch ]" 
 
 " I have heard, please your majesty," replied her lady- 
 ship, " that Sir Robert Cecil and my Lord Henry Howard, 
 having got into a pair of oars but a brief space after this 
 abandoned creature took water, saw her land at Durham 
 House, where it is supposed of many. Sir Walter's chaplain, 
 Dr. Robert Burrel, did make them man and wife." 
 
 " Worse and worse !" cried the queen, renewing her lofty 
 strides along the chamber, while her eyes were flashing 
 with anger, and her bosom heaved mightily — her wrath so 
 moved her. " He hath not only done us notorious infamy, 
 but, without our permission first asked and granted, he hath 
 dared marry. What ! he thinks, forsooth, because we have 
 shown him some small favour, — having better opinion of 
 him than he deserved, he shall be allowed to ruffle it as he 
 please. Now, by this blessed light, we'll teach him some- 
 what differently. As for that Burrel, he must be made to 
 know that to thrust his fool's head into such a pestilent 
 meddling, is not doing God's work, but the devil's. He de- 
 serveth to have his gown stripped off his back, and whipped, 
 at the cart's tail by the common hangman. Such meddle- 
 some priests are ready for any villany. We marvel greatly 
 that Sir Robert Cecil informed us not of what he had ob- 
 served of this, as in duty bound he should. But 'tis thus 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 155 
 
 we are served : the shamefullest things arc done against us 
 from day to day, yet those we have promoted to do us ser- 
 vice, instead of giving us instant knowledge thereof, keep as 
 close upon the business as if they had been bribed into com- 
 placency." 
 
 '* There is a knocking at the door, please your majesty," 
 said my Lady Howard. 
 
 " See to it," replied the queen. 
 
 '♦ "i'is my Lord Burghley," added her attendant, after she 
 had gone to the door to notice whom it might be. 
 
 " Let him have entrance," cried her majesty. Presently 
 the lord treasurer advanced slowly into the chamber, with his 
 hat in his hand, making proper obedience; and saw in a mo- 
 ment by the queen's countenance — which, in spile of all her 
 cosmetics, looked exceeding black and sour — that something 
 was out of place. 
 
 "Be sealed, my lord," said the queen, for this indulgence 
 she granted because of the infirmities of liis age. The lord 
 treasurer seated himself with becoming gravity, marvelling 
 much what made her majesty look in such sort, and pace the 
 chamber so liaughtily ; and he turned towards my Lady How- 
 ard to see if he could read in her looks any interpretation of 
 the mystery, but, to the prodigious increase of his astonish- 
 ment, she looked the blacker of the two. 
 
 " My lord treasurer !" exclaimed the queen, scarcely able 
 to speak she seemed in so great a passion, and stopping sud- 
 denly before him, " that Raleigh hath become the blackest 
 traitor that ever was known." 
 
 •' Humph !" cried my Lord Burghley, in some sort of sur- 
 prise, and drawing in his lips with an appearance of the very 
 profoundest gravity. 
 
 " He hath done us gross offence," continued the queen, 
 *' He hath committed such foul wrong against our royal dig» 
 nity, that the sacrifice of his life will not be enough amends." 
 
 " Ha !" exclaimed the lord treasurer, dropping his jaw as if 
 with a sudden astonishment. 
 
 " He hath had the audacity — think of the fellow'^ vile- 
 ness, my lord — to be shamefully familiar with the horridest 
 of wantons Elizabeth Throckmorton !" and then her majesty 
 continued her haughty pacing of the chamber. 
 
 " And in the palace loo, my lord," added her attendant with 
 a look of exceeding indignation. 
 
 " Ho !" ejaculated the other, poking out his chin the while, 
 as if in wonder at the enormity of the oflencc. 
 
15G SHAKSPEARE 
 
 "She shall meet with her reward," continued the queen 
 very angrily. *' It shall never be said tliat we left such hus- 
 sies to the induljjence of their own wicked wills." 
 
 " And so near the royal presence !" added my Lady How- 
 ard, with sufficient emphasis. 
 
 *' Humph!" cried my Lord Burghley, seeming very much 
 shocked. 
 
 " But more than this — my lord ! more than this," said the 
 queen, stopping before her lord treasurer with a look of ex- 
 treme anger, and raising her voice to the highest pitch, " he 
 hath dared to marry her." 
 
 *' Ha !" exclaimed he, in a manner as if horror-struck. 
 
 " He hath held us in contempt — he hath put a slight upon 
 our authority," saying which the queen bounced off as 
 before. 
 
 " After her majesty hath been so bountiful a mistress to 
 him," added her ladyship, "I am quite shocked at such de- 
 vilish ingratitude." 
 
 " Ho !" said my lord, looking monstrously shocked also. 
 
 " Where is Sir Robert Cecil?" inquired the queen^ " we 
 must have speech with him instantly. It will go hard with 
 him if he do not explain satisfactorily how he hath so much 
 fallen short in his duty. We will have none such about us. 
 We will favour no negleclers. We will not be served by 
 such as can be dumb when treason stalks abroad. Send him 
 to us, my lord, without fail. He hath been privy to these 
 villanous goings on, and^ hath taken care to give us no hint of 
 the matter." 
 
 " Humph !" cried my Lord Burghley very seriously, as he 
 rose from the chair ; then proceeded out of the chamber in 
 search of his son, as his royal mistress had commanded him. 
 
 Her majesty continued in the same humour to stride back- 
 wards and forwards, letting out her anger without stint, now 
 against the one and now against the other, but most prodigally 
 against her fair namesake, for whom no punishment seemed 
 with her to be ample enough; whilst the Lady Howard took 
 care that her rage should not go out for lack of proper stir- 
 ring. Sir Robert Cecil evidendy had not been far of)', for he 
 knocked at the door in a little space after the Lord Burghley 
 had left it. 
 
 " So, Sir Robert Cecil !" exclaimed the queen angrily, as 
 soon as he made his appearance before her, " you must needs 
 become an aider and abettor of treason." 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 157 
 
 " I aid treason — I abet treason !" cried he in seeming con- 
 slernalion, as he humbly knell before his sovereign. " What 
 ill hap is mine to have such accusation brought against me by 
 so good a mistress ? I will be sworn on my life I never 
 spoke or did aught against your majesty. Far from it, I find 
 most exquisite delight in endeavouring to prove myself your 
 majesty's faithfullest servant ; and I would not change your 
 service for that of any sovereign upon earth, were I tempted 
 to it ever so. Indeed, please your majesty, if you take from 
 me the reputation I have at all times diligently sought, of giv- 
 ing place to no man in honesty and obedience, I would not 
 wish to live another hour; for without character I should be 
 unworthy to breaihe in the presence of one so exalted in ex- 
 cellence, and deprived of the pleasure all persons enjoy who 
 are held in such honour as to be selected to do your majesty's 
 bidding, life hath nothing left that can be esteemed after it. 
 Let me humbly ask of what treason I am accused ?" 
 
 " The knowing of Raleigh's traitorous proceedings with 
 that disgrace of our court, Elizabeth Throckmorton," replied 
 the queen with exceeding bitterness, " whereof you told us 
 nothing. What they have done is as black treason as ever 
 was thought of — secrecy was all they required to succeed in 
 their infamous designs, and by not declaring to us what you 
 were privy to, that we might have it hindered, you allowed 
 them to go on to the perfection of their iniquitous doings, and 
 so become an aider and abettor of their treason." 
 
 " Please your majesty," said Cecil very earnestly, " two 
 reasons had I, and good ones they seemed to me, that I 
 should not make a stir in this business. In the first place, 
 my knowledge amounted to little more than the common sus- 
 picion, of the whicli there was no certain proof — in the next 
 place, I like not being a tale-bearer at the best of times — but 
 I do stand in such a respectful awe of your majesty's super- 
 human virtue, that I could not for the life of me break any 
 matter to your majesty's modest ear that appeared tainted with 
 indelicate meaning." 
 
 *' We do approve of your reasons. Sir Robert," replied the 
 queen, " so far as to clear you of all ofl^ence in this. But now 
 we charge you on your allegiance speak without extenuation 
 whatever hath come to vour knowledije." 
 
 *' Since your majesty hath graciously given me leave, I 
 will," answered he. " 1 must premise that of their inter- 
 course knew I nothing save what was the general gossip ; 
 
 VOL. I. 14 
 
158 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 but knowing how much the world is given to scandal, I look 
 no heed of what I heard, believing, as I do, that Sir Walter 
 Raleigh is too noble and discreet a gentleman to take to such 
 dishonourable courses." 
 
 *' My Lady Howard hath given us good proof of it, which 
 she had from their own lips," observed the queen impatiently. 
 
 ** Indeed, Sir Robert, I did by accident overhear all their 
 infamous secrets, the which I thought it but proper in me to 
 carry to her majesty," said her attendant. 
 
 " I'm all amazed !" cried Sir Robert Cecil, looking in as 
 absolute an astonisliment as was ever beheld. " I marvel at 
 it infinitely ! who could have thought it ? How impossible 
 it doth seem that one so superlatively wise and learned as is 
 your majesty's captain of the guard, should have committed 
 himself so abominably ! Indeed, it makelh me afraid of mine 
 own honesty. I shall tremble for myself, knowing as I do 
 that if they who have such wonderful store of learning cannot 
 keep upright, we who fall short of such gifts cannot but tum- 
 ble. Of all men few have I regarded wiih the like admira- 
 tion I felt for Sir Walter Raleigh, for in truth he did always 
 appear to me a most inestimable sweet gentleman. I am hear- 
 tily grieved" 
 
 " Proceed with what you have to say on this infamous mat- 
 ter," said the queen sharply. 
 
 " That will I without further loss of time," replied the wily 
 Cecil. *' It chanced that my Lord Henry Howard and I 
 going to the Bankside, got into a pair of oars just as the barge 
 containing Mistress Throckmorton left the shore. My lord 
 directed my attention to some one who sat in the barge cloak- 
 ed up very close, whom I had not noticed, for in truth I had 
 such respect for Mistress Elizabeth, believing, from her near- 
 ness to your majesty's person, that she was of a most honour- 
 able nature, that I could not entertain suspicion of wrong in 
 any thing that she did, and was not curious about her proceed- 
 ings." 
 
 " Who was that person, think you ?" eagerly inquired the 
 queen. 
 
 *' That know I not of mine own knowledge," answered 
 Cecil, " for we being of the other side of the water could not 
 have a very distinct sight of things so far off. I do not think 
 it was Sir Waller Raleigh for a reason I will presently ex- 
 plain. The barge made for Durham House, which, knowing 
 the suspicions that were afloat, created in us no small asto- 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 159 
 
 nishment. Then we saw him in the cloak, land, witli Mistress 
 Alice and her cousin ; and these three went up the steps into 
 the house. This seeing, we knew not what to make of it; 
 so for the satisfaction of my lord's curiosity and my own, we 
 waited at a convenient distance. In half an hour or less, the 
 three returned to the barge and went on their way; and I, 
 thinking it could be nothing more than a passing visit, thought 
 so light of it that we watched them no more. He in the cloak 
 could not have been Sir Walter Raleigh, because my father 
 did have speech of him at your majesty's command in his 
 own house, at the very time I saw this person on the river. 
 Knowing this, as I soon found out, I did not see any wrong 
 in the visit of these young women with another person to 
 Durham House ; but my Lord Howard did offer me a wager, 
 that Mistress Elizabeth had gone there to be married, and 
 that he in the cloak was no other than her father, Sir Nicho- 
 las Throckmorton, who had good reason for seeking conceal- 
 ment, as it was given out he was like to perish for want of 
 proper nursing." 
 
 " Now is it all made clear to us," exclaimed the queen, her 
 face crimsoning with rage. " We have been cozened, cheated, 
 and imposed upon ; and doubtless they now laugh in their 
 sleeves at finding us gulled so easily. By God's wounds, 
 we'll let them know what it is to make sport of their sove- 
 reign." 
 
 " I wonder at their baseness," cried her ladyship with much 
 asperity. 
 
 " 'Tis not enough for them to do us the foulest dishonour 
 we have received since we have been a crowned queen," 
 continued her majesty, seemingly waxing more wrath every 
 minute, " they must needs play a trick upon us ! We are 
 thought to be worthy no better hap by this false woman than 
 for a stale to catch her woodcock Raleigh!" 
 
 '*'Tis marvellous strange how such extreme impudency can 
 exist," said Cecil very gravely. 
 
 ♦' Get you to his chaplain. Sir Robert," added the queen. 
 " He is one Burrel, in some repute for his learning, and doubt- 
 less may be found at Durham House. Question him of this 
 marriage : for we would know if it hath taken place. If he 
 answer you to the purpose, you shall come away and do him 
 no hindrance — but if he be contumacious, or seem to hold 
 back what he knoweih — straight with him to prison : he shall 
 there have time to repent him of his meddlesomeness. Delay 
 
160 SHAK9PEARE 
 
 not to report to us the minute you get aiight worth the tell- 
 ing." 
 
 "I will be the most zealous intelligencer in your majesty's 
 dominions," replied Cecil. 
 
 *' My Lady Howard, we are for the presence-chamber," 
 said the queen, and straightway slie passed haughtily out at 
 the door with her attendant, but not before the latter and Sir 
 Robert Cecil had, unseen by her majesty, exchanged a look 
 in which there appeared a wonderful deal of meaning. 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 I cannot eat but little meat, 
 
 My stomach is not good ; 
 But sure, I think that I can drink 
 
 With him that wears a hood. 
 Tho' I go bare, take ye no care, 
 
 I nothing am a cold, 
 I stuff my skin so full wlthhi 
 
 Of jolly good ale and old. 
 
 Gam:meii Gubton's Needle. 
 
 My masters, are you mad } or what are you ? Have you no wit, 
 manners, nor honesty, but to gabble like tinkers at this time of night f 
 
 Shakspeake. 
 
 It was getting deep into the evening. The prudent citizens 
 had long closed their houses, and many of the more sober 
 sort had retired to rest. Nothing disturbed the silence of 
 the streets, but now and then the riotous singing of some 
 prodigal gallants returning late from the tavern, with more 
 wine in their pates than wit, with perchance, the hoarse 
 bawling of some of the city watch, chiding them for dis- 
 turbing the night with their caterwauling; or mayhap,- a 
 score of disorderly apprentices for the sake of diversion 
 screaming fire, murder, and the like, from different places, 
 till the whole neighbourhood was in an uproar, and the 
 watch running to and fro in strange perplexity as to 
 where w^as the mischief Now you might hear some par- 
 ticular clock striking the hour, and anon there was such a 
 striking from all parts that it seemed as if there would be no 
 end to it ; like unto when chanticleer croweth in the early 
 morning, there answereth to him another, and he is taken 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. IGl 
 
 up by a third, and so on till the whole of the cocks round 
 about have tried the strength of their voices. 
 
 So it fared in the city, and in Eastcheap more especially — 
 which of all places wr's most noted for mad pranks and 
 merry doings ; but whilst such goings on proceeded outside, 
 the little back parlour of Geoffrey Sarsnet the mercer, as 
 oft did echo with a very similar merriment. There he sat 
 before an oak table having on it a bowl and drinking horns, 
 looking very portly in a buff jerkin ; a jolly face and a merry 
 eye seeming to mock the gravity of his gray beard and bald 
 pate ; and a loud short laugh bursting from his mouth ever 
 and anon, said plain enough, of all conscience, that his 
 thoughts were none of the saddest. Opposite to him, in 
 singular fine contrast, sat the meagre form of the miser of 
 St. Mary Axe, who, by the complacency of his withered 
 aspect had evidently forgiven Joanna the loss of the Venetian 
 chain. 
 
 " Margery ! Margery !" bawled the mercer, after he had 
 looked into the bowl and found it empty of liquor. *' By 
 cock and pye, I'm no lover of jolly good ale and old, if we 
 hav'n't drained it as dry as — as dry as thy wit, thou ghost 
 of a pickled herring. Haw ! haw ! haw I" 
 
 " Forsooth, thou art in a most facetious vein gossip," 
 replied Gregory Vellum, who cared not for being laughed at 
 when he had aught to gain by joining in the mirth. 
 
 " If I be not in the vein the vein be in me," said the jolly 
 mercer, with another laugh as loud as the preceding. 
 " Here, Margery," cried he again ; then sinking his voice, 
 added, " Hang these old women, say I ! They be as deaf 
 as thy conscience, and as slow as thy comprehension. Is't 
 not so, thou delectable pippin-face 3" 
 
 *' In truth, they be exceedingly deaf and slow," answered 
 the scrivener, with a wonderful gravity. 
 
 •' The young ones for me — ey, Gregory," continued the 
 old fellow, with a knowing wink of his eye. ♦' They have 
 ears for any thing ; and as for going, I doubt them not, at 
 an ambling pace, they would beat any colt that runs. Haw ! 
 haw ! haw ! Why, Margery, I say." 
 
 "How, now? — what do you lack, sweet master?" ex- 
 claimed a little old woman with a very pointed nose and 
 chin, and sharp gray eyes, who appeared at the door. 
 
 *• Another bowl, Margery !" replied Geoffrey Sarsnet. 
 
 14* 
 
162 SHAKSrEARE 
 
 "And, prytliec, brew it delicately, with good store of nutmeg 
 and a famous toast in it." 
 
 " That will I, kind heart, and quickly," answered the old 
 dame, fetching the empty vessel. 
 
 " I'faith, Margery, thou lookest as innocent as a sucking 
 donkey," said the jolly mercer, with his usual laugh, as he 
 gazed upon her uncomely face. 
 
 " An't please your goodness, I was always noticed for the 
 innocency of my looks," replied the old dame very demurely. 
 
 " 1 doubt it not," cried her master ; ♦' and thine innocency 
 was always respected, I'll be bound for it. Haw ! haw ! 
 haw !" 
 
 "Indeed, you may say that," responded she. " For it is 
 a most notable truth that no longer ago than five-and-twenty 
 year last Martinmas — " 
 
 " Thou must then have seen a good forty years at least — 
 an excellent fine age of innocency ;" and then the old fellow 
 chuckled again mightily. 
 
 " Fie on you for saying so, and I not fifty yet !" said 
 Margery, her yellow physiognomy blushing with indignation 
 at such an insinuation of her antiquity — the which, however, 
 was no great way from the truth. " No longer ago than 
 five-and-twenty year last Martinmas — " 
 
 " Thou wert put in the stocks for a wanton — an excellent 
 fine proof of innocency, o' my life! Haw! haw! haw!" 
 And then he gave the table a slap that made the horns jump 
 again. 
 
 " What I ! I that have ever been the discreetest and vir- 
 tuousest of virgins !" exclaimed the old woman, in a seeming 
 monstrous to-do. " I'll be put upon my oath I was never 
 put in the stocks." 
 
 " Well, thou hast had exceeding good luck, then," replied 
 the mercer, winking at his companion, and endeavouring to 
 keep a grave face ; but he succeeded not, for he presently 
 burst out in the short loud laugh as at first. 
 
 '* Nay, I'll tarry not to be made game of," cried she some- 
 what sulkily ; an'A thereupon hurried out of the room. 
 
 ♦' Mayhap, if she tarry to be made game of, then should 
 none hurry to put her on the spit. Haw ! haw ! haw !" 
 shouted her master, his eyes twinkling very merrily at the 
 conceit. 
 
 " Methinks it would be but barbarous to make a roast of 
 lier," observed the scrivener, with a perfect seriousness. 
 " And indeed she seeraeth not very delicate eating." 
 
AND Ills FRIENDS. 1 G3 
 
 *♦ No more delicate eating than thou art ; and I doubt not 
 to find more juice in the fag-end of a piece of dowlas than 
 tiiou canst boast of in tiiy whole body," replied the mercer, 
 who being of a well-fed person himself, held the other's lank- 
 ness in seeming contempt. " But what sayest thou to a dainty 
 young wench of some sixteen years or so — fresh and plump 
 and tender as a chicken ? Doth not thy mouth water at such 
 fare — ey, Gregory ?" 
 
 " In honest truth, I have no stomach for human flesh," an- 
 swered the scrivener. 
 
 " Out on thee for a dull wit!" exclaimed the other. " I'll 
 be hanged if thou hast more brains than a roast chestnut.' But 
 as thou canst not entertain me with thy discourse, see if ihou 
 canst tune up thy pipe for a song. A song, a song, Gregory 1" 
 
 *' Believe me, I have forgotten every tune but one," said 
 the miser of St. Mary Axe in very serious fashion, "and that 
 be the hundredth psalm." 
 
 *' Psalm me no psalms i Dost take me for a puritan V 
 cried the jolly mercer. 
 
 " Nay, but it be an excellent sober tune, Geoffrey Sarsnet." 
 
 " Then shall it be the most unfit tune in the world over a 
 full bowl. Haw ! haw ! haw l" shouted his companion in the 
 same merry key as at first. 
 
 ♦' Melhinks I know of none other," said Gregory Vellum. 
 
 *' Then ale of mine shalt thou never taste till thou hast be- 
 thought thee of something more to the purpose. So look to 
 thy memory, and quickly." 
 
 *' I do remember me there was a song I did use to afTect in 
 an idle hour when I was but an apprentice," observed the 
 scrivener. 
 
 " Prythee, then, out with it !" exclaimed the other. 
 
 *' Indeed, I have no voice for singing, gossip. Hem ! 
 hem !" and then the old fellow began to clear his throat very 
 diligently, looking, or rather striving to look, exceeding modest 
 all the time. 
 
 "I have asked thee not to sing with any other voice than 
 thine own ; so I must needs make the best of it," replied the 
 jolly mercer very merrily. 
 
 " Hem, hem !" 
 
 *' Nay, I would as lief sit with a tailor as with one that 
 doth nothing but ' hem,' " said his companion with a laugh as 
 loud as ever. 
 
 '* I will fall to it as well as I may," replied the scrivener. 
 
164 SHAK5PEARE 
 
 Then turning up his eyes to the ceiling, began in a wonderful 
 shrill trembling pipe — 
 
 " When little birds sat on their nests— 
 
 " Nay, but good gossip, I be not in most excellent voice,** 
 said he, ere he had got any further. " Hem, hem." 
 
 *' It wants no conjuror to tell me that," answered his com- 
 panion with a chuckle. " But not a drop of my good ale 
 shall moisten thy throat if thou dost not sing me the song be- 
 fore it be brought in." 
 
 " Hera, hem !" repeated the other quickly, for he had no 
 objection to any good thing at another's expense. Then with 
 a lack-a-daisical look, the like of which it is impossible to 
 conceive, he recommenced — 
 
 ** When little birds sat on their nests, 
 And conies to the young- wheat hied ; 
 And flowers hung down their dainty crests, 
 And Philomel her sweet trade plied. 
 * With my heigh-ho ! 
 Whether or no, 
 Kiss me but once before I go, 
 Under the tree where the pippins grow.'" 
 
 *'I say nothing against the matter of thy ballad," here in- 
 terposed the mercer ; " for it be as exquisite foolish stuff as 
 heart can desire; but if thou art not singing it to the hun- 
 dredth psalm then never gave I honest measure." 
 
 ♦''Tis very like," replied the old raiser gravely ; "for I did 
 tell thee I knew of no other tune." 
 
 " I'll have none on't. So look that thou sing the proper 
 notes." At this, with a preliminary hem or two, Gregory 
 Vellum did essay the second verse, much after the same die- 
 away fashion as at first. 
 
 "'Twas then a lover and his lass. 
 
 Her rosy cheek with his acquaint — " 
 
 ** Thou art at the psalm again, and be hanged to thee !** 
 here exclaimed his companion. 
 
 "Indeed then I knew it not; but I will take good heed 
 I fall no more in that strain." And then he continued his 
 ballad. 
 
 "Had set them on the tender grass ; 
 
 Whilst he thus fondly made his plaint. 
 
AND HIS riUENDS. 165 
 
 * Singing heigh-ho ! 
 Whether or no, 
 Kiss me again before I go. 
 Under the tree where the pippins grow.' " 
 
 " Thou art clean past all hope," cried Geoffrey Sarsnet. 
 *' For lo one note of the ballad ihou hast given a score of the 
 hundredth psalm." 
 
 "Ah, did I Fo ? then in truth it did escape me unawares," 
 replied the other, and resumed his diity, the first, two or lliree 
 notes of the which seemed of a fitting tune ; but the rest was 
 the psalm beyond all possibility of conlradiciiou. 
 
 ** He kissed her once, he kissed her twice. 
 Though oft she coyly said him nay ; 
 Mayhap she had him kiss her thrice, 
 Before she let him get away. 
 ' Singing heigh-ho ! 
 "Whether or no, 
 Kiss me again before you go, 
 Under the tree where the pippins grow.' " 
 
 '♦ Odds, my life ! thou hast no more notes in thy voice than 
 hath a cuckoo, who singeth the same sorry tune ever," said 
 the jolly mercer. " But here comes the bowl," he added, 
 seeing Margery enter with it in her hands, and place it before 
 him. 
 
 "Ay, marry does it," said the old woman, all trace of her 
 late displeasure having vanished; " and there is in it as fine a 
 roasted crab as heart could wish for, with store of all proper 
 things." 
 
 " By cock and pye, so there is !" exclaimed her master, 
 gloating over it with his rosy face, and snifilng up the spicy 
 steam with wonderful satisfaction, " Now will I believe, 
 Margery, all that thou hast said of thy exceeding virtue : nay, 
 more, looking into thy face, I couhl lake upon me lo swear 
 with a safe conscience, that thou hast never had a lover in ihy 
 life." And thereupon he again burst out a laughing. 
 
 " Nay, you are wrong there, kind heart," replied Margery, 
 with great coi!thlaccncy, " 1 have had no lack of lovers in my 
 time, I warrant you. For, as I was a saying but now, it was 
 just five-and-lwenty years hist Martinmas" 
 
 " Since thou wert taken up by the constable on evidence 
 that thou wen like to become chargeable to the parish : a sin- 
 
166 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 gular fine proof that thou hast had lovers, sure enough. Haw ! 
 haw ! haw !" I'hereat he slapped the table so hard, that it 
 did overturn one of the drinking horns he had just filled. 
 
 The old dame answered not, save by bouncing out of the 
 room more angry than before. 
 
 " Mind it not, Gregory !" exclaimed the jolly mercer, as 
 he beheld his companion trying to save the ale, by catching 
 it in the empty horn, as it run through the chinks of the 
 table. 
 
 " It be a shame to let such good liquor run to waste, gos- 
 sip," he replied. 
 
 ** 'Twould have been all the same hadst thou swallowed 
 it," observed the other; " for to give it thee is to waste it in- 
 deed ; because thou dost never look the better for it. Here — 
 hand up thy cannikin — though, in truth, thou deservest not to 
 partake of such brave stuff, seeing that thou didst make such 
 a miserable hand at thy ditty." 
 
 *' To tell thee the exact truth," said the old miser very ear- 
 nestly, " though I have, at divers times, essayed many dif- 
 ferent songs, somehow or another, yet know I not why, I 
 never could find any other tune for them but the hundredth 
 psalm." 
 
 " Then art thou but a goose at singing," replied his compa- 
 nion, finishing a draught of the good liquor before him, which 
 by the smacking of his lips, seemed to please his palate 
 mightily, " but I will troll thee a song, Gregory, and one 
 worthy to be mated with such right exquisite tipple as this." 
 
 " 'Tis famous drinking, indeed !" remarked the scrivener, 
 after a hearty draught of the same ; " and the singing, I doubt 
 not, will match it." 
 
 "Thou shalt judge," said the other; then, with a full 
 round voice, and in a very jovial manner, he did give out the 
 following strain. 
 
 *• I never had a voice for a song" that's choice, 
 
 And dainty ditties with me must fail : 
 
 Yet, weeks at a time, I fain would chime, 
 
 VVhenever I strike up in the praise of good ale. 
 Then troul troul, -^ 
 
 Each hearty old soul, 
 That loveth the sight of a foaming- bowl ; 
 For there's naught in the land 
 He should care to command. 
 Who hath g-ot such brave liquor as this at his hand. 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 167 
 
 Full oft to the great have I held my prate — 
 
 But when 1 have had good ale enow, 
 I be not afeard to wag my beard 
 
 With any woman's son, be he high or low. 
 Then troul, troul, &c. 
 
 Perchance I am shy, when a woman is by — 
 
 Yet if but good ale my jerkin line, 
 Wife, widow, or maid — in sun or shade, 
 'Ere an hour may have passed shall have sworn herself mine. 
 Then troul, troul, &,c. 
 
 Mayhap I've no store of the sage's lore — 
 
 But when some good ale is in my pate, 
 I'faith I can speak in Dutch or Greek, 
 
 And argue a whole college as dumb as their gate. 
 Then troul, troul, &c. 
 
 It may be from fright I would run than fight — 
 Yet when with good ale beneath my skin. 
 
 With sword or wnth lance will I advance. 
 
 And leagured by my foes, cut through thick and thin. 
 Then troul, troul, &c. 
 
 'Twill needs be my hap to have not a rap — 
 But when that good ale hath warmed my veins, 
 
 There be none like myself, so rich in pelf — 
 
 For ne'er can I count up the whole of my gains. 
 Then troul, troul, &c. 
 
 I'm nigh unto death, for the lack of breath- 
 Yet if of good ale I am not scant. 
 Full many a bout shall I see out. 
 
 And never shall I know aught of pain or of want. 
 Then troul, troul. 
 Each hearty old soul. 
 That loveth the sight of a foaming bowl; 
 For there's naught in the land 
 He should care to command. 
 Who hath got such brave liquor as this at his hand !'* 
 
 '♦Indeed it be an excellent fine song, gossip, and a merry,'* 
 observed the old miser, wilh exceeding complacency. 
 
 " Somewhat better than thy miserable ditty, that be only fit 
 to be sung over a kitten in a fit," replied the jolly mercer, 
 with his customary laugh. '* But hand up thy vessel, Grego- 
 ry, for it hath acquired a marvellous resemblance to thyself — 
 it be singularly empty : Haw ! haw ! haw 1" 
 
 " In truth, it hath nothing in it," said the scrivener, losing 
 
168 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 no lime in doing as he was bid. " But what hath become of 
 the beautiful Joanna all this time?" 
 
 " Like enough, she be above stairs with some of her gal- 
 lants," answered the other, carelessly. 
 
 *' With some of her gallants ?" exclaimed Gregory Vellum — 
 his leaden visage in no small degree disturbed — " Prithee, tell 
 me, be there many that consort with her!" 
 
 " Some score or two, at least," replied his companion. 
 
 " But dost approve of it?" asked the old miser, looking still 
 less at his ease. 
 
 ** To be sure I do, Gregory. Dost think I know not on 
 which side of the bread the butter lies ? — I tell thee, there be 
 all sorts of notable gentlemen and brave gallants, come after 
 her upon the fame of her infinite comeliness; and, doubtless, 
 seeking of my favour, they order of me great store of fine 
 things for their own wearing. INlany's the piece of satin I 
 have sold for a cloak ; and as for velvets and silks, it be be- 
 yond calculation the store I have got rid of on that account. 
 Mayhap, in time, some of them owe me a swinging bill, and 
 I go with it to their houses, and, like enough, get no answer 
 —then send I Joanna, and she bringeth me the money in a 
 presently. Odds my life, man ! seeing that she be of such 
 profit to me, will I not let her do as she lists ?" 
 
 " But dost not fancy it may like to damage her reputation ?" 
 
 " Damage her fiddlestick !" replied the jolly mercer, with 
 his ready laugh. " I doubt not she be well able to take care 
 of herself; and if she grant them any favour, 'tis like she 
 maketh them pay roundly for it." 
 
 This communication the miser of St. Mary Axe in no way 
 seemed to relish, as was evident from the increasing uneasi- 
 ness of his countenance. 
 
 " Surely thou wouldst be glad to see her honestly married 
 to some reputable person," said he at last. 
 
 " Dost take me for an ass, Gregory ?" sharply inquired 
 the other. " Neither honestly nor dishonestly, with my good 
 will : for should I not lose by it all the good custom that is 
 now drawn to my house ? If she marry, I must needs make 
 the best I can of it ; but I would ever hinder it if I could." 
 
 " Alack do not say so, gossip," cried his companion in very 
 woful fashion, '* for in honest truth I love her infinitely, and 
 would marry her myself." 
 
 " Thou marry lier !" shouted the mercer, pushing back Iris 
 chair, and staring on the other in exceeding surprise. 
 
AKD Ills FRIENDS. 169 
 
 " Ay, good GeolTrey, and have come expressly to talk to 
 tlice upon the business." 
 
 '♦ Haw ! haw ! haw !" roared out liis lusty companion. 
 
 "And, as she knowelh full well, have been courting of her 
 for s,'Mne time past." 
 
 " Haw ! haw ! haw !" repeated the jolly mercer louder 
 than before. 
 
 "Nay, forsooth, it be no laughing matter to me, I do assure 
 thee," continued the old miser, now a Utile nettled at the 
 manner in which his communication had been received. 
 " She haih had great store of gifts from me — owches, rings, a 
 Venetian ciiain that cost me fitly crowns, besides sundry sums 
 in rose nobles for her private expenses ; and when upon 
 showing her of what bountiful disposition 1 had been, I press- 
 ed her to name the nuptial day, she did earnestly assure me 
 of her willingness, provided I succeeded in the obtaining of 
 thy consent." 
 
 " Haw ! haw ! haw !'' shouted the other, giving tiie table 
 a thump that made it sound again, and looking as if he could 
 hardly see out of his eyes, his cheeks were so squeezed up 
 with laughing, " That be best of all. So thou hast been 
 courting Joanna, eh Gregory? Why, thou shadow! thou 
 lath ! thou rush ! tliou first cousin to nothing ! — what could 
 mislead thee into such egregious folly ? to say nothing of the 
 presumption on't. To think for a moment such a withered 
 apple-john as thou art should succeed against so many fine 
 young knights and sprightly gentlemen !" 
 
 •' Prythee, if I am not to have her to wife, let her return 
 the gifis she had of me," cried liie old miser with exceeding 
 earnestness. 
 
 " If thou ever seest a glimpse of one of them, then shalt 
 thou have better eyesight than is customary for one at thy 
 time of life," replied the other, chuckling famously. 
 
 *♦ Nay, I will go to law on it an' I have them not," cried 
 the scrivener, starting up from his chair in a monstrous con- 
 sternation at the thought of losing so many valuable things. 
 
 " Prythee do no such thing," answered the jolly mercer, 
 as well as he could for laughing, " for of a surety thou wouldst 
 be laughed out of every court in Christendom." 
 
 *' Oh, 1 be utterly ruined and undone !" exclaimed the old 
 miser wildly, as he sunk his hands in his face and dropped 
 again into his chair. 
 
 " I doubt it be so bad as that," observed Geofl'rey Sarsncl, 
 VOL. I. 15 
 
170 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 '* but it will be a good lesson for thee to take heed when ihoU 
 dost again pay the piper, to see that thou art not left alone in 
 the dance." 
 
 Gregory Vellum replied not — for ijuleed he ilid stand very 
 much in fear of his lusty companion, and did scarce dare utter 
 a word ; but no unfortunate wight looked ever in so disconso- 
 late a mood. 
 
 " Come, drink, man ! drink !" cried the mercer very mer- 
 rily. *' Care killed a cat, and if it could put a finish upon 
 her nine lives, surely thy one must needs stand but a sorry 
 chance. So drown care in the bowl, and thou shall live all 
 the happier for it." 
 
 The scrivener of St. Mary Axe then, as if in a desperate 
 taking, did begin to drink like a fish, in the which he was en- 
 couraged by the other, who joked and laughed without ceas- 
 ing. At this time there entered one of a very impudent coun- 
 tenance, and monstrous swaggering manner. His hair was of 
 the colour of flax that halh been scorched in the dressing, and 
 was combed back in a mighty coxcombical fashion from his 
 forehead, where it was twisted up like unto acocaktoo's crest; 
 his beard was of the like hue, and cut to a peak. Of his face 
 it may suffice to say that it did express a singular fine opinion 
 of the owner, and for assurance was not like to meet with its 
 peer. For his age it seemed nigh unto thirty. He wore a 
 high ruff and a doublet very conceitedly cut, that had once 
 been much better than it was ; with breeches stuffed out extra- 
 vagantly — red hose cross gartered, and yellow rosettes in his 
 shoes, a world and all too large. Sticking his right arm 
 straight out, with his other arm a-kimbo, as soon as he had 
 entered ; with a very fustian voice, and high and mighty look, 
 he thus -addressed the twain : 
 
 *' Brave peers of France! sith we have passed the bounds 
 Whereby tlie wranglinp^ billows seek for straits 
 To war with Tellus and her fruitful mines ; 
 Sith we have furrowed through those wandering tides 
 Of Tyrrhene seas, and made our galley dance 
 Upon the Hyperborean billows' crests, 
 That braves with streams the watery Occident — '* 
 
 " What, Ralph Goshawk !" cried the jolly mercer as he 
 noticed the intruder. " Come, sit thee down, and help us to 
 finish this bowl." But the other, without minding interrup- 
 tion, continued : — 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 171 
 
 " And found the rich and wealthy Indian clime, 
 Soiig-ht to by greedy minds for hostile gold" — 
 
 " Nay, give over bombasting out thy blank verse awhile," 
 said Geoffrey Sarsnet. " In truth, Ralph, thou art exceeding 
 like a gutter on a house-top in a storm of rain — thou art so 
 abominably given to spouting. Haw ! haw ! haw !" 
 
 The miser of St. Mary Axe stared with a sort of conster- 
 nation, for either what he had drunk had fuddled him in 
 some measure, or he liked not the stranger's appearance : 
 seeing which, the latter made two or three dignified strides 
 to where the scrivener sat, and spoke to him thus : — 
 
 •• And I, my lord, am Mandricard of Mexico, 
 Whose climate fairer than Tyberius, 
 Seated beyond the sea of Tripoly, 
 And richer than the plot Hesperides." 
 
 "I drink your worship's health. Master Mandricard," ftil- 
 teringly replied Gregory Vellum, with trembling hands rais- 
 ing the horn to his mouth. Thereat, the other proceeded 
 after the same fashion. 
 
 *• As for myself, I walk abroad a nights, 
 And kill sick people gi'oaning under walls :'* 
 
 At this the miser could not drink, he seemed struck with 
 such a sudden fear. 
 
 •* Sometimes I go about and poison wells." 
 
 " You don't say so !" exclaimed the frightened scrivener. 
 
 " And now and then to cherish Christian thieves 
 I am content to lose some of my crowns ; 
 That I may, walking in my galler}', 
 See 'em go pinioned along by my door." 
 
 " Ha !" cried the frightened scrivener, in a long tremulous 
 tone. 
 
 *♦ Then after that was I an usurer. 
 And with extorting, cozening, forfeiting, 
 And tricks belonging unto brokery, — 
 I filled tiie jails witli bankrui)ts in a year. 
 And with young orphai\s planted hospitals. 
 And every moon made some or other mad.'* 
 
 " Good Lord, deliver us !" piously exclaimed the old 
 miser. Then raising his voice, and looking very frowningly, 
 the other recommenced : — 
 
172 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 " 'Twas I, my lord, that got the victory — 
 The }^od of war resigns his room to me, 
 Meaning to make me general of the world. 
 Jove viewing me in arms looks pale and wan, 
 Fearing my power should pull him from his throne, 
 Where'er I come, the fatal sisters sweat. 
 And gi'isly Death, — by running to and fro 
 To do their ceaseless liomage to my swoi'd." 
 
 At this, Gregory Vellum trembling in every joint, and 
 looking as pale as any of his parchment, threw himself on 
 his knees before the other, with closed palms and uplifted 
 eyes, and cried out as loud as his fright would allow, 
 
 "Good, your worship, don't kill me this time!" 
 
 ♦' Haw ! haw ! haw !" shouted the jolly mercer, who with 
 much ado, had refrained from laughing before. " Get thee 
 up, Gregory, and fear nothing. It be only Ralph Goshawk, 
 a young haberdasher from the Strand, as impudent a varlet 
 as lives ; but there be no harm in him, save that he be stage- 
 struck. He goeth to the playhouse so oft, that his talk is 
 all of fag-ends of plays ; and so far gone is he in it, that if 
 one ask of him the price of pack-thread, he will answer, like 
 an emperor, in blank verse. Sit thee down, Ralph ! and 
 take me off this horn of good ale, or I will beat thee out of 
 thy humour in a jiffy." 
 
 The young haberdasher took two majestic strides to a 
 chair, which, in the like princely manner, he drew to the 
 table; then, with a right royal salutation to the company, he 
 tossed off his ale, and sat himself down very gravely ; at the 
 which Geoffrey Sarsnet laughed louder than ever. The 
 scrivener, in some degree assured that the other would do 
 him no harm, now returned to his seat ; but the drink he 
 had had, evidently was getting into his head, for he had a 
 very vacant look with him, and he walked unsteadily. 
 
 *' Come, drink, my masters, drink," exclaimed the mercer, 
 filling the cups of his guests as fast as they were emptied. 
 " And how weareth the night, Ralph 1" 
 
 No sooner had the question been asked than he that was 
 spoken to jumped up from his chair, placed his arms as be- 
 fore descrilDed, and thus answered : — 
 
 " The golden ball of Heaven's eternal fire, 
 That danced with glory on the silver waves. 
 Now wants the fuel that inflamed his beams; 
 And all with faintness and for foul disgrace, 
 lie binds his temples with a frowning cloud." 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 173 
 
 Then sat him down. 
 
 " Thou villain, thou wilt be the death of me," exclaimed 
 his lusty host, witli his usual hearty laugh. " But cannot 
 we have a catch, my masters 1 I'm in a brave humour for 
 singing. A catch, my masters — a catch !" 
 
 Up jumped the young haberdasher at tliis, exclaiming 
 exactly after the same fashion as at first : — 
 
 ** And in tills sweet and curious harmony 
 The god that tunes this music to our souls 
 Holds out his hand in highest majesty 
 To entertain divine Zenocrate.'* 
 
 " A fig for Zenocrate and all her generation !" cried the 
 jolly mercer. " I tell thee we will have a catch, what sayest 
 thou, Gregory ] Art for a catch 3" 
 
 " I'd rather the hundredth psalm if it please thee, gossip," 
 drawled out the scrivener, winking his eyes a bit, as if his 
 sight was none of the clearest. 
 
 " Be this a time to sing psalms, thou heathen !" bawled 
 out he of Eastcheap. " Hast no respect for places 1 well, if 
 we cannot sing a catch, we will dance the brawls : so away 
 with the tables and chairs, my masters, into the corner, and 
 let's foot it bravely." 
 
 The table and chairs were quickly moved by the jolly 
 mercer, assisted by Ralph Goshawk, who could not, in the 
 mean while, refrain from breaking out, — 
 
 ** Now Hecuba and Ilium's honoured line." 
 
 ^' Hang Hecuba and thee too!" cried Geoffrey Sarsnet; 
 " and for the matter of that. Ilium may take his line and 
 hang himself. Haw ! haw ! haw ! Now then, my masters, 
 at it in style, to the tune of' Green Sleeves.' " 
 
 Then commenced a scene, the like of which hath rarely 
 been looked on ; for the jolly mercer began throwing about 
 his lusty limbs, singing of the tune to the top of his voice, 
 with now and then varying it with a loud whoop, as he 
 slapped one or other on the back. He was seconded by 
 Ralph Goshawk, who moved about as gingerly as though 
 the flooring was of pins and needles, and he was mightily 
 afraid of pricking his toes; and after him came the old miser, 
 with his eyes half shut, and hanging of his head on one side, 
 as he staggered here and there, as if without the slightest 
 knowledge of what he was a doing. Such a din they kicked 
 up as would have astonished a blacksmith. In the very midst 
 
 15* 
 
174 SHAKSPEARB 
 
 thereof, Gregory Vellum made a stumble, and came with 
 his back against tlio table, knocking down from it the lights, 
 the horns, the bowl, and every one thing that had been 
 there, and putting the place in utter and complete darkness. 
 Immediately after the crash, tlje door opened, and there 
 appeared at it the beautiful Joanna with a light, with dame 
 Margery close behind, peeping to know what such a terrible 
 racket could be about. Seeing the mercer's daughter, the 
 old miser, who had till now supported himself against the 
 table with his hands, slipped down upon his nether end, 
 staring at her as foolishly as you please, with his mouth 
 open ; and the young haberdasher marched forward two 
 paces, and with his arms in the usual position, addressed 
 her thus : — 
 
 " O gentle daughter of King CEdlpus, 
 
 sister dear to that unhappy wight 
 Whom brother's rage had reaved of his right. 
 
 To whom thou knowest, in young and tender yeai-s, 
 
 1 was a friend and faithful governor, 
 
 Come forth, since that her grace hath granted leave, 
 And let me know wlmt cause hath moved now, 
 So chaste a maid to set her dainty foot 
 Over the threshold of her secret lodge." 
 
 " Go it, fustian !" cried the mercer, giving the other so 
 forcible a slap on the back that it put him quite out of his 
 favourite position, and nearly sent him sprawling on the 
 floor. 
 
 " Father, I wonder you should make such a clatter at this 
 time of the night," said Joanna, as gravely as she could ; for 
 in truth the scene was extremely ludicrous : then she added 
 to the old woman, — " Margery, let them have lights." At 
 the which, giving her candle to the other, she was hastening 
 away, when she stopped suddenly, turned back, and said, 
 " I think you had best go to bed, father, for 'tis exceeding 
 late, and the neighbours will marvel hugely at your making 
 such a disturbance ;" — and then she went away. 
 
 " Well, the choicest of fooling must have an end," ex- 
 claimed the jolly mercer ; " so we must e'en part. Ralph, 
 thou hadst best see Gregory Vellum to his house in St. Mary 
 Axe, for I doubt much, if he were left to find his way, he 
 would get beyond the next gutter." At the which, the 
 young haberdasher answered only by staring at the open 
 door very earnestly, and exclaiming thus : — 
 
AND HIS PRIEN'DS. 175 
 
 " Techelles, draw tliy sword. 
 And wound the earth, that it may cleave in twain. 
 And we descend into th' infernal vaults 
 To hale the fatal sisters by the hair, 
 And throw them in the triple moat of hell, 
 For taking- hence my fair Zenocrate." 
 
 " What, Zenocrate again ! and be hanged to thee," cried 
 out his lusty host, and thereat lent him such a kick of the 
 breech, that it sent him bounce against the old woman, as 
 she was going out at the door. 
 
 " Ya !" screamed she, as loud as she could bawl, and 
 took herself out of the room as if she had been shot out 
 of it. 
 
 " Haw ! haw ! haw 1'' roared the jolly mercer, whilst the 
 discomfited haberdasher stood at a little distance, diligently 
 rubbing his nether end. " But haste thee, Ralph, and take 
 this fellow away straight, for I am eager to have him out of 
 my house." 
 
 At this Ralph Goshawk took two or three of his most 
 majestic strides to where Gregory Vellum now lay at his 
 length, and with the assistance of his lusty companion, 
 raised him on his legs. The old miser opened his lack- 
 lustre eyes, and tried to look sensible, in the which, as may 
 be supposed, he succeeded not at all. 
 
 " Oh, woman 1 lovely woman !" cried he, in his shrill 
 treble; and thereupon hugged Ralph so closely in his arms, 
 that both of them came tumbling to the ground together. 
 
 " Odds m}"" life, this fooling will be the death of me," 
 exclaimed the mercer, his fat sides shaking with laughter ; 
 and then the two again essayed to raise the tipsy scrivener. 
 
 " Spare my money, and lake ray life," drawled out he, as 
 he arrived at his perpendicular. 
 
 ♦' Thy money's safe, I'll be bound for it ; and as for thy 
 life, 'tis the safer of tlie two, for it be not worth the taking." 
 And then the mirth of Geoffrey Sarsnet burst out as loud as 
 ever. 
 
 "Oh, my gold ! my gold !" cried the old miser, knocking 
 his hands together, and looking marvellously helpless and piti- 
 ful, as, supported by the arms of Ralph Goshawk round his 
 waist, he dragged himself along. The young haberdasher 
 accompanying him with a monstrous dignified slow march, 
 and looking as tenderly on his charge, as if he had been some 
 delicate princess ; and the jolly mercer, following with the 
 light, ever and anon breaking out in his customary laugh. 
 
170 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 *' Gently with him !" exclaimed he. ** Hold him up, or 
 he will slip down nfrain, ami mayhap hurl his foofs head." 
 
 'sSiop, let me put on his hat — and here's liiine. Now, let 
 me ope the door: and if ihou meet any of the watch, say it 
 be an honest friend of mine, and they will molest ihee not; 
 for I be in good odour wiili Master Constable, and have treat- 
 ed many of his brethren with a tankard. Good night to ihee, 
 old bov ; and, pry thee, keep thy body up if thou canst. Good 
 night, Ralph r' 
 
 The young haberdasher no sooner heard the words that 
 had just been ushered, than holding his charge firmly with 
 one arm, he struck out the other, and replied, "Thus Rhada- 
 manthus spoke — " 
 
 " Hang Rhadamanlhus and thee too !" cried the other, as 
 he banged ihe street door in his face : and what Rhadaman- 
 lhus spoke remaineth to this day a mystery. The jolly mer- 
 cer, like a careful ciiizen, fastened the door, and saw that all 
 things were safe in his house ; and then went he up stairs to 
 bed, singing very merrily — 
 
 ** Full oft to the great have I held my prate ; 
 But when I have had good ale enow, 
 I be not afeard to wag- my beard 
 
 With any woman's son, be he high or low.'* 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 Since Fortune's will is now so bent 
 
 To plague me thus, poor man \ 
 I must myself therewith content. 
 
 And hear it as I can. 
 
 Sir Thomas Wyatt. 
 
 Happy is he that liveth in such a sort ; 
 
 He need not fear the tongues of false report. 
 
 Loni) SuunEY. 
 
 What comfort have we now ? 
 By Heaven, I'll hate him everlastingly 
 That bids me be of comfort any more. 
 
 SUAKSPEAIIE. 
 
 There was a goodly company in the parlour of mine host 
 of the 8hip at Chatham, whereof most of them seemed to be 
 seafaring men from the vessels lying in harbour, shipwrights 
 
AND ins FRIENDS. 177 
 
 of the town, and the like. Some were a playing at shove- 
 groat; others leaning out of the open bow-window watching 
 the ships. Here one was upon a bencli as fast as a cliurch, — 
 there another a nodding his head over the table, as if he would 
 speedily follow his neighbour's example; many were a drink- 
 ing, and some few discoursing very soberly; whilst ever and 
 anon mine host (a very tapsier-looking varlet, with a right 
 rosy facy and a short plump body) came in and out, serving 
 of his customers with a tankard or so, and having something 
 to say to all, 
 
 " Pryihee, tell me what ship be that, Simon Mainsail?" 
 inquired a stout handicraftsman of some sort, to a weather- 
 beaten old mariner with a scarred face, who stood by him at 
 the window. 
 
 " Which ship, messmate?" asked the other. 
 
 " Oh ! be that she squaring her yards ?" observed the mari- 
 ner inquiringly. 
 
 •' Nay, I know not if she be squaring of her yards or her 
 inches," replied the handicraftsman ; "but it seemelh to me 
 that she be just come to an anchor." 
 
 " ^J'hat be the craft, ey ?" answered his companion. " 'Tis 
 a pinnace of my Lord Admiral's, called the Disdain, and many 
 a time and oft have I been afloat in her. She sailelh well 
 enough afore the wind — ay, my heart ! as bravely as a witch 
 in a sieve ; but she wears heavily in some weathers. I was 
 in her off the Lizard, when we first had sight of the Spanish 
 armada, and Captain Jonas Bradbury was her captain — a right 
 gallant gentleman, and a skilful. Well, when my Lord Ad- 
 miral had allowed the villain Spaniards, with all their host of 
 big ships, amounting to 160 sail, to pass him by as they did, 
 swaggering it along like very bullies as they were, we in the 
 Disdain were sent to challeno-e them to the fight, at the which 
 we lost no time, for we straight bore down upon the nearest, 
 and discharged our ordnance at her. Then up came my Lord 
 Admiral, in liie ark Royal, giving to the first galleon of the 
 enemy such a broadside as made her shiver in all her timbers. 
 Close at his stern came Drake, in the Revenge, Sir Joha 
 Hawkins in the Victory, and Sir Martin Frobisher in the 
 Triumph, which last was the biggest of all our ships, and 
 they soon began to fire away like mad Other of our craft 
 followed, and they of the armada, after a while, liked not our 
 salutations, I promise you ; for they that were nighest to us 
 bore away as if Old Clooty was at their heels ; but not before 
 
178 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 we had done them great damagement, burnt one of their 
 largest ships, and took another, in the which we found ri5,000 
 ducats, whereof I spent my share (for it was all divided 
 amongst the sailors) in drinking confusion to all villain Spa- 
 niards." 
 
 " That was a proud time for old England," remarked a 
 bystander. 
 
 " Proud time!" exclaimed Simon Mainsail. " 'Slife, mess- 
 mate ! I never think on't but I feel as if I were head and 
 shoulders taller." 
 
 " Here be a brimming tankard, my masters !" cried mine 
 host, as he set a filled jug before two youths, who appeared 
 by their looks to be but simple apprentices. " I doubt not 
 'twill warm your young hearts famously. 'Tis mild as milk, 
 and soft as silk ; and as good as can be drunk by ar-y no- 
 bleman in the land. But the money, my masters, the 
 money !" 
 
 " How much be the cost of it ?" asked one, very inno- 
 cently. 
 
 " Why, to such noble young gentlemen I must say a 
 groat ; though I would not let those of meaner quality have 
 it under threepence, I promise you." Thereat he nudged a 
 bystander at the elbow. 
 
 " I thank you, kindly, good sir," replied the youth ; and 
 then in a whisper added lo his companion, " Tim, hast got 
 twopence? — for no more than that have I." 
 
 " I have it to a farthing," said the other ; and thereupon 
 handed him the amount, which with his own he placed in 
 the hands of mine host. 
 
 " I think you will find it right," observed the apprentice, 
 as he noticed the tapster begin counting of it. 
 
 " One penny — two — three — a halfpenny and two farthings 
 is it exactly, and thank your worship," replied mine liost, 
 with a monstrous serious countenance, whilst all in the room 
 could scarce refrain from a laugh. 
 
 "Will you take a drink with us, good sir?" asked Tim, 
 modestly. 
 
 " That will I, and thank your honour," answered mine 
 host, raising the untasted jug to his mouth. " So, your 
 worships' very good health !" 
 
 " I thank you," said both at the same time. The two ap- 
 prentices now watched the tapster, very curiously, as they 
 saw his head gradually fall back as he was a drinking of 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 179 
 
 their liquor, and liis stomach poke out as much, till he put 
 down the tankard. 
 
 " Why, he's drank it all !" exclaimed one, opening his 
 eyes with astonishment, as soon as he discovered the vessel 
 was empty ; at the which announcement the jaw of the other 
 fell prodigiously, and all the company burst out into a roar 
 of laughter. 
 
 " Your worship was good enough to ask me to take a 
 drink, and methinks I have done your bidding famously," 
 said mine host ; and without ever a word more, he walked 
 straight from the room as if he had done nothing out of the 
 common, leaving every one a laughing more than ever, and 
 the two youths looking at each other as foolish as you please. 
 The latter seemed as if they knew not whether to go or to 
 stay. Without doubt they were monstrously ashamed, and 
 would have given their ears never to have entered into a 
 place, whereof, it is on the face of it, they had had so little 
 experience ; but whilst they were a reddening and fidgeting 
 about, and making up a resolution to take to their heels, in 
 comes mine host with a full tankard, as if for another cus- 
 tomer, and with such an exceeding comic face, that at the 
 sight of it the company laughed louder than at first. 
 
 ♦' Here be a somewhat larger tankard than the one I 
 brought you in awhile since," said the tapster, as he placed 
 the vessel before the astonished youths. " But the liquor 
 hath been drawn from the same tap, I'll warrant it. 'Tis in 
 exchange for that I have swallowed. Drink, and make 
 your hearts merry, my masters. But let me give you this 
 piece of advice, which you will, I doubt not, find of some 
 profit to follow. Never ask another to drink with you till 
 you have first gauged his stomach to see what he will hold." 
 
 " I'll gauge him without fail, depend on"t, good sir," ex- 
 claimed Tim, in an excellent cheerful humour ; and then all 
 in the room expressed their delight at mine host's conceit, 
 and many did order fresh tankards they were so well 
 pleased with the handsome way in which he had made 
 amends to the simple apprentices for the trick he had played 
 upon them. 
 
 " That be so like thee, Ephraim Spigot," observed one 
 merrily. 
 
 " That be a sure thing," replied he, after the same fashion. 
 " For of all my family I be reckoned most like myself" 
 Thereat there was a laugh of course ; and he took himself 
 out in the midst of it. 
 
180 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 " Knowest thou where that vessel hath been 3" inquired 
 the handicraftsman of his neighbour. 
 
 " I did hear she sailed to bring back Sir Walter Raleigh," 
 replied Simon Mainsail. 
 
 "What, he that went from here on the late expedition?'* 
 asked his companion. 
 
 *' Ay, messmate, the same," said the mariner. 
 
 " It hath been said that he be in disgrace at court, for that 
 he will not splice himself unto a gentlewoman of the queen's 
 choosing," observed another seafaring man. 
 
 " Now, I heard from my gammer," said an artificer ; " and 
 my gammer got it from her gossip, and her gossip had it 
 from a cousin of hers, who is a serving-man to some person 
 of vi^orship in London, that this Sir Walter Raleigh hath 
 fallen out with the great Earl of Essex, and that they were 
 nigh coming to blows before the queen's majesty, the which 
 put her into so monstrous a fret, that she straightway for- 
 bid them her presence." 
 
 " 'Tis said that this Raleigh be a famous conceited fellow,'* 
 remarked another, " and spendeth as much on his back as 
 would clothe a whole county." 
 
 " What dreadful extravagance !" exclaimed the handi- 
 craftsman ; " why cannot he be content with a jerkin of a 
 moderate price, such as might become any honest man, and 
 give the rest to the poor ]" 
 
 " Why, messmate, thus runs the log," replied the old 
 mariner, hitching up his slops ; " if so be he be ordered to 
 dress his vessel after one fashion, he must needs do it, or be 
 put in the bilboes for a mutineer. Mayhap he hath had 
 signals from his admiral to have his rigging smarter than 
 ordinary ; and like a good seaman, he hath obeyed orders. 
 As for his hanging astern at court, for not consorting with 
 such as his betters choose for him, I have seen none that 
 have taken soundings there, therefore have I no chart to go 
 by to lead me to the truth ; and whether he have come to an 
 engagement with Lord Essex, know I as little ; but let him 
 have sailed on either tack, or for the matter of that, on both, 
 I see nothing in it discreditable to his seamanship." 
 
 " I heard from a very honest intelligencer that he was to 
 be fetched back from his command, in huge disgrace," ob- 
 served one of the artificers. 
 
 " Mayhap," replied Simon Mainsail ; •' the very best man 
 that walks a plank can't aJways have fair weather with his 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 181 
 
 officers, albeit he have no fault in him ; — for on one watch 
 they shall be in this humour, and the next in one that is clean 
 contrary. 'Slife ! it be the difRcultest thing that is for a 
 fellow to warp out o'harbour without meeting with a squall 
 from some of 'em. As for Sir Walter Raleigh, 'tis like 
 enough I be as familiar with his trim and seaworthiness as 
 any, seeing that I served as gunner under him in Drake and 
 Norris's expedition to the Groyne, in the year eighty-nine; 
 and I can say this much, that never met I a more proper 
 commander. He be none of your thundering great ships 
 that bear down upon us smaller craft, as if they would 
 swamp every mother's son of us ; but he hath often and 
 often crept up along side of me, and spoke about gunnery 
 and such matters with as much cunning as if he had been 
 at load and fire all his life. And as for his spirit, — after we 
 landed in the Bay of Ferrol, I saw him bear up among the 
 Spaniards at Puente de Burgos, after a fashion that remind- 
 ed me only of that right gallant officer his kinsman, Sir 
 Richard Grenville." 
 
 *' And what did he, neighbour V asked the handicraftsman. 
 
 "What did he, messmate?" replied the veteran,— " why 
 he did the gallantest thing that ever was known on the high 
 seas. You shall hear, for it be marvellously worth the tell- 
 ing. You see there was a fleet sent out in the year ninety- 
 one, under the command of Lord Thomas Howard, consist- 
 ing of six ships royal, six victuallers, and a few pinnaces, 
 whereof Sir Richard Grenville was vice-admiral, in the 
 RevengiR^. in the which I had gone on board as master 
 gunner ; and this expedition, like unto the one that sailed 
 from here awhile ago with Sir Walter Raleigh, had for its 
 object the surprising of the Plate fleet, belonging to the 
 villain Spaniards, as it rendezvoused at the Azores, coming 
 from America. Somehow or another, the pestilent knaves, 
 the enemy, had wind of it, and they sent a fleet of fifty-three 
 of their biggest ships of war to act as convoy ; of the which 
 we knowing nothing, were quietly taking in water at Flores, 
 when down they came upon us. All hurried on board to 
 weigh anchor and escape, as there was no fighting against 
 such odds. But Sir Richard Grenville, having seen every 
 one of his men embark, was the last to leave the shore; and 
 by this necessary delay the Revenge was left alone. He 
 seeing that there was no hope of recovering the wind, knew 
 nothing was possible but to cut" his mainsail, tack about, and 
 
 VOL. I. 16 
 
182 6HAKSPEARE 
 
 be off witli what speed he might, or stay and fight with all 
 that could come up with him : but though the enemy had 
 surrounded his ship in such a way as to leave him little 
 chance of escape, and though ninety of his men were on the 
 sick list, and only a hundred able for duty, he was not the 
 fellow to turn from a parcel of villain Spaniards; so he had 
 every thing prepared for action, and bore down to force a 
 squadron that stood on his weather bow. 
 
 " There, my messmates, was a sight to see," continued 
 the old mariner, his honest weather-beaten face glowing at 
 his own narration ; " one ship attacking a whole squadron ! 
 And the gallant Grenville was nigh being as successful as 
 his great heart merited ; for divers of the villain Spaniards 
 springing their loof, fell under his lee ; but a cursed big gal- 
 leon of fifteen hundred tons gained the wind, and bearing 
 dow^n on the Revenge, did so becalm her sails that neither 
 could she make way or obey the helm. You may have a 
 notion, messmates, of what sort of a customer this galleori 
 was like to be, when I tell you that she carried three tier of 
 guns on each side, and discharged eight forej'ight from her 
 chase, besides those of her stern ports. Well, as ill luck 
 would have it, whilst we were peppering away at this mon- 
 ster in such sort as soon made her glad to sheer off, two of 
 the like kind boarded us on the starboard, and two on the 
 larboard ; but we minded 'em not a wjjit ; nay, we beat 'em 
 off, one after another, big as they were, till we had fought 
 some sixteen of them for the space of fifteen hours; two of 
 which we sunk and two made complete wrecks, and the rest 
 we haridled pretty rudely, I promise you. 
 
 "But how fared we all this time, my messmates'? Scarce 
 one of us escaped — forty as brave fellows as ever trod a 
 deck were sent aloft, where 'tis to be hoped they'll be well 
 cared for; and of the rest scarce any were left without 
 something to show of the sort of employment they had been 
 at. I got this slash across my figure head, with a bullet 
 through my starboard fin, and another near the main hatch- 
 way ; all along of those villain Spaniards. Sir Richard, who 
 had not left the upper deck for eight hours after he was first 
 wounded, which was in the early part of the action, was then 
 shot through the bulwarks ; and as they were repairing the 
 damage, he received another bullet, and saw the doctor 
 regularly capsized alongside of him. But the Revenge was 
 treated worse than all ; for when the morning broke she was 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 183 
 
 nothing but a naked hull ; having received as many as eight 
 hundred shot of great artillery, which those bullies of gal- 
 leons had fired into her, wiiereof some were under w*ater : 
 her masts were beat overboard — her tackle split to ribands 
 — her upper works levelled to the water's edge ; and she 
 was altogether in so pitiful a condition that she moved only 
 with the motion of the billows. 
 
 " For all that, my messmates, Sir Richard wasn't fur 
 striking his flag; but proposed to sink the ship rather than 
 fall into the hands of such notorious villains, in the which he 
 was seconded by myself and some few of the crew; but the 
 rest not being of the like spirit, compelled him to surrender; 
 and this, methinks, rather than his wounds, caused him to 
 die soon after." 
 
 '* There went a noble heart !" cried one of the seafaring 
 men. 
 
 " In truth, he was a gallant gentleman," said the handi- 
 craftsman ; and others made like ejaculations, for all had lis- 
 tened with exceeding interest to the old man's stirring account 
 of the figlu. 
 
 " But how got you out of their clutches, Simon Mainsail?" 
 asked one ; ♦' and how did they behave to you ?" 
 
 •' 'Slife ! they used me like a dog, messmate," replied the 
 veteran, in a monstrous indignation; " my wounds were most 
 infamously handled ; and how I recovered under such barba- 
 rous ireatmenl is a marvel to me. But we were all served 
 alike, clapped in irons', and treated with mouldy biscuit and 
 bilge water, till we came to an anchor at Cadiz, when we were 
 paraded ihrough the streets, accompanied by shoals of papist 
 priests, soldiers, and a bloodthirsty mob, yelling at the sight 
 of us, as if they had reason to boast of their victory. It was 
 given out that we were to be hanged, which sent some of us 
 on our beam ends at the thought of it ; but 1 told 'em not to 
 despair, and set them up to a thing which made them put 
 their helms up in a presently. You must know, messmates, 
 that these Sp-.miards hale us for not caring a breath of wind for 
 iheir images, relics, and such like Popish abominations, and 
 curse us in their hearts for heretics : but the priests are 
 mightily pleased at the thouuht of converting a protestant, as 
 they look upon it as a sort of victory. So we got one of our 
 crew who understood their palter, to say we would fain 
 change our religion : thereupon came father this and father 
 t'other, who preached to us by the hour, and very easily per- 
 
184 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 suaded oiir whole company to cross ourselves, to kiss this 
 image and the other image, and assent to whatever they di- 
 rected. Then, seeing us such good Catholics, we were taken 
 out of our chains — our victuals became of a better sort, and 
 they kept not so sharp an eye on us as tliey did. The end 
 of all this was, one night we broke out of prison very quietly, 
 got into some boats that were high and dry on the beach, — 
 with them boarded a ketch that lay at anchor in the bay, and 
 having found the crew asleep, took possession of her without 
 a blow, and in the morning we were far out at sea, better 
 protestants than ever, making for Old England, with a whole 
 crew of villain Spaniards our prisoners." 
 
 *' I'faith that was well done !" exclaimed one, in the which 
 all seemed to assent, especially the apprentices, who, having 
 finished their tankard, had grown bold enough to express 
 their approval of the old mariner's conduct. 
 
 " I should like to beat a Spaniard hugely," said Tim to the 
 other, very bravely. 
 
 " Suppose he stand upon his weapon and will not be beat 
 of thee — what then ?" asked his companion. 
 
 *' Why a — " observed Tim, somewliat as it were in a sort 
 of hesitation — " I would e'en tell him go hang for a knave, 
 and let him go." 
 
 " Walk in, my masters — walk in, I pray you !" cried out 
 mine host as he ushered into the room too serving-men, who 
 looked by the dust on their jerkins and long boots, that they 
 liad come of a journey. " There be room enough and to 
 spare, I warrant you : and if so be you are as dry as are the 
 roads, doubtless you will be all the better for a wetting." 
 
 *' What sayest thou, Diggory, shall we have a tankard ?" 
 asked one of the other, as they swaggered themselves into a 
 seal. 
 
 " Ay, Peter, let it be a tankard," replied Diggory. 
 
 *' That you shall have, and of the best," said Ephraim Spi- 
 got, " and 'tis to be hoped, 'twill enable you to drink away 
 your drought, and draught away your drink." And away 
 went the portly tapster, with a loud chuckle at his own con- 
 ceit. 
 
 *' Doth that fellow laugh at us ?" said Peler, with exceed- 
 ing fierceness. '• Nay, and by goles I'll rap him over the pate 
 an' he do." 
 
 " Prythee do not," said his companion urgently, " for re- 
 memberest thou what Sir Nicholas Throckmorton said — 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 185 
 
 * Mention my name on no account, and of all things keep out 
 of brawls.'" 
 
 " Ha, so said lie sure enough, Diggory," replied the other, 
 •• I mind it well, and will be as close upon this business as if 
 1 knew it not. Nay, if there be any so daring as to say I be 
 Sir Nic!iolas Throckmorton's serving-man, I'll swear he lies 
 in his throat, and slit his weasan for him." 
 
 *• Dost think Slcplien Shortcake will be long, Peter ?" asked 
 Gregory. 
 
 " Indeed, I cannot say," responded he sharply. ♦• To tell 
 thee the irutli, Disrgory, I like him not ; for when I wanted to 
 cut off that impudent varlel's ear^, that did seem to dog us so 
 as we came along, he woidd on no account let it be: and did 
 give me a rating for seeking to endanger the reputation of our 
 mistress by my quarrelsomeness. 'Slife, I take him to be a 
 very precise fellow, Diggory." 
 
 " Here you are, my masters !" cried mine host, bringing in 
 the liquor and setting it before his customers; "and never 
 tasted you better sluO", I'll be bound for it." 
 
 " Our master, Sir Nicholas Throckmorton, hath better 
 liq Hang thee, Diggory, what dost tread on my toes 
 
 for !" exclaimed Peter cutting himself short in the middle of 
 his speech, and making an exceeding wry face. 
 
 " Here's the money, good sir," said Diggory in a civil 
 manner to his host, " and doubt I not the excellency of your 
 liquor, believe me." 
 
 " I'll believe any one who pays without being asked for his 
 reckoning," replied Ephraim Spigot with a knowing look ; 
 and thereupon proceeded out of the room. 
 
 " I marvel at thee, Peter," exclaimed the other, immediately 
 mine host had turned his back, " thou wouldst have begun thy 
 brawling had I not slopped thee." 
 
 " 'Slife ! and sliall a paltry tapster have better ale than our 
 master ?" cried Peter indignantly. " By goles, I could out 
 with my tool and beat the knave into shavings." 
 
 *' Prythee be quiet, and take a drink," said Diggory. 
 
 " Well, here's to thee, and confusion to all beggarly knaves 
 that cannot fight their way," replied his companion, taking a 
 liearty swill at the tankard. 
 
 '• How look the roads my master ?" exclaimed an honest 
 looking yeoman in the next corner. 
 
 *' Why, but indifferently, good sir," responded Diggory, 
 with a like civility. " Indeed, I may say that ever since I 
 
 16* 
 
186 SIIAKSPEARE 
 
 left the lioiise of my master, Sir Nicholas Tlirock Hang 
 
 thee, Peter, wiiat dosl pincli me so for ?" crioii he, turning 
 sharp upon the otlier. 
 
 *' 'Slii'e, man, thou wert a saying Sir Nicholas Throckmor- 
 ton's name, which be against the law," said Peter in a whis- 
 per, which was overheard by every one in the room. 
 
 " Thou didst right to interrupt me then," replied Diggory. 
 *' But prylhee don't pincii quite so hard again," and then he 
 took a jiearty swill at the tankard. 
 
 " All that be not seafaring men be cowards 1" cried out a 
 drunken boatswain, as he woke up from his sleep on the 
 bench. 
 
 " Thou liest, dog !" shouted Peter, drawing out his rapier, 
 *' I be no seafaring man, yet will I prove myself valiant upon 
 thy villanous body." 
 
 " Have at thee, then !" exclaimed the seaman, endeavour- 
 ing to stand up and draw his weapon. 
 
 *' Peter! Peter!" cried Diggory, beating his fist against the 
 other's back to make him attend. " Rememberest thou the 
 law ? Peter, I say, thou knnwest there must be no brawling. 
 Put up thy weapon, Peter, I prythee !" 
 
 '* For shame upon you, my masters !" exclaimed Simon 
 Mainsail, running in between the combatants, and assisting 
 with others to make them desist of tiieir intended violence ; 
 whilst the two apprentices, like prudent youths, as soon as 
 they saw there was like to be a fighting with swords, took to 
 their heels. 
 
 "No brawling, 1 pray you, my masters!" exclaimed mine 
 host, rushing into the room as if with a fear of mischief. 
 
 " Make not an honest man's house a place for the shedding 
 of blood," cried the handicraftsman. 
 
 " Hang him, villain !" shouted Peter, endeavouring to get 
 at his opponent, who was held from him by the bystanders. 
 *' Shall he call me a coward because I be no seafaring man ? 
 He lies in his throat ! By goles, Pll cut off his ears for't !" 
 
 " Peter ! Peter, 1 say !" cried Diggory, pulling and thump- 
 ing him with all his might. 
 
 " 'Slife ! man, dost want to pound my back to powder !" 
 bawled out Peter to his companion. *' I will let out my valour 
 upon him. Pll cut him over his knave's pate at least. Nay, 
 our master. Sir Nicholas Throck" 
 
 " Put up thy weapon, varlet, this instant!" angrilyj exclaim- 
 ed Stephen Shortcake as he entered the room and seized his 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 187 
 
 uplifted arm. " How darest ihou draw upon any man ? 
 Werl not expressly forbid to brawl and to meiiiion names? 
 and 1 leave lliee only for a short space, and find ihee a doing 
 of both. Up with thy weapon, or thou shall rue it." 
 
 Peter slowly and somewhat reluctantly put away his rapier, 
 and the friends of the seafaring man huiried him out of the 
 room. 
 
 " O' my life thou art the most pestilent knave that lives," 
 cried the old butler to the pugnacious serving-man. " Thou 
 art like to bring us all into trouble by thy villanous quarrel- 
 someness. What need hadst thou with a drawn weapon in 
 thy hand ; nay, I marvel hugely that thou shouldst be allowed 
 a weapon at all." 
 
 " He did say that all were cowards except seafaring men," 
 replied Peter doggedly, " and 1 could not stand by and dis- 
 grace our master by stomaching it." 
 
 "Thou hast disgraced thy master as it is," said Stephen 
 Shortcake, looking very wrath at him. " But see that thou 
 offend not again, or it shall go hard with thee. And 1 am 
 ashamed of thee, Diggory, that thou shouldst have stood by 
 and hindered him not," turning sharp round upon the other. 
 
 '' Nay, I do assure you, I did essay all means to withhold 
 him from it," answered Diggory. *'I did remind him that 
 our master, Sir Nicholas — Oh !" 
 
 " Hang thee, thou babbling knave !" cried the enraged old 
 man, as he seized the uncautious Diggory by the ear ; " is 
 this the way thou obeyest thy master's orders ? O' my life, 
 I know not which is the most pestilent villain of the two. 
 Now I charge iliee stay here till 1 return ; and if there be any 
 more prating, or the least stir to a brawl, at thy peril be it." 
 So saying, Stephen Shortcake took himself out of the room, 
 leaving the two serving-men mightily intent upon their best 
 behaviour, and the rest of the company in a famous marvelling 
 at the strangeness of their conduct. He then proceeded up a 
 winding flight of stairs to the first landing, where there was a 
 door, at the which he knocked, and being bid come in, he did 
 enter accordingly. 
 
 " Well, good Stephen, what news have you ?" inquired the 
 beautiful youncr wife of Sir Waller Raleigh, who sat leaning 
 on her arm looking out of the casement, attired as if she had 
 but just come oflf a journey. 
 
 "Indeed, sweet mistress, I have very comfortable news," 
 replied the old butler respectfully. " 1 did make inquiries of 
 
188 
 
 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 divers worsliipful captains and men of the sea, and some have 
 told me thai they know for certain that my honoured master 
 is on board a vessel lliat hath but lately come in." 
 
 '* 'Tis comfortable news indeed, Stephen," said Dame 
 Elizabeth, brightening up exceedingly. " But how looks 
 he ? Doth he ail any thing ? Hath he prospered in his voy- 
 age ? When shall I see him?" she then eagerly inquired. 
 
 " Of his looks I could learn but little," answered Stephen 
 Shortcake. " Seeing that I have mel with none that have 
 had speech of him since he left here; and of his voyage I 
 know no more, for tiiere were none who were inftjrmed of it. 
 And as for when you shall see him, sweet mistress ! me- 
 thinks 'twill not be long first, as I did lose no time in des- 
 patching a trusty boatman with your note, who halh promised 
 me to use all speed, and to give it into Sir Walter's own 
 hand." 
 
 '* Thanks, good Stephen !" exclaimed she. " I am glad 
 the information I received that he was spoke with off the 
 coast, hath proved correct; for the rest, I doubt not, I shall 
 have it from himself. But get you some refreshmont, good 
 Stephen, for you have had a hard ride, and doubtless do re- 
 quire something." 
 
 " Nay, if it please you, I would rather be a getting of some 
 dainty for yourself," observed the old man. " For you have 
 scarce tasted bit or sup since we left Aldgate." 
 
 " I have no heart for any thing till I see Sir Walter," re- 
 plied the affectionate woman. " But I thank you for your 
 painstaking ; and do insist upon it, you presently procure for 
 yourself whatever proper thing the house affords." 
 
 " I thank you heartily, sweet mistress !" exclaimed he, 
 "and will haste to do your gracious bidding." 
 
 When Stephen Shortcake had left the room, Dame Eliza- 
 beth turned again to the casement, and gazed among the 
 vessels as if with a hope of finding out the ship in which was 
 her beloved husband. All at once she did behold a boat 
 putting oflf from one, upon which she kept her eyes, as it 
 made for the shore, pleasing herself with the fancy, that 
 therein might be him she most wished to see. She could 
 just discern two persons (besides the boatman), one of whom, 
 as far as she could make out in the distance, looked the 
 taller and nobler of the two, "'Tis he!" she exclaimed 
 joyfully, as she thought she recognised his figure ; and then 
 added, pressing her hands over her throbbing breast, " be 
 still, my heart !" 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 189 
 
 In a few minutes there could be but little doubt of it — for 
 the one she had observed, as if noticing her at the casement, 
 did suddenly stand up in the boat and whirl his hat round 
 and round his head ; whereupon, she took her kerchief and 
 waved it in the air ; — her heart all the whilst seemingly be- 
 ing in as great a flutter. Then it was seen, as they made the 
 land, that the two were Sir Walter Raleigh and iMastcr 
 Francis. She watched them very earnestly as they neared 
 the house, and when she lost sight of them she rose from the 
 casement — then sat herself down again, — while her heart 
 seemed so to beat, and her countenance became so pale and 
 agitated she scarce knew what to do; and when Sir Wal- 
 ter's quick step was heard upon the stairs, she could only 
 stand by catching fast hold of the arm of the chair, the 
 which she had not let go till she found herself ,within the 
 embrace of her loving husband. 
 
 *' After all said and done, dear Bess," said Sir Walter 
 Raleigh, when they had exchanged their affectionate greet- 
 ings, " I think we shall live as pleasant a life of. it as heart 
 can desire." 
 
 " I hope so, dear Walter," replied his beautiful young wife, 
 " yet I have had my doubts. There have been rumours 
 afloat to your disadvantage, which have given me infinite 
 uneasiness, and I oft times thought that our marriage had 
 come to the queen's ears, and she in consequence thereof, 
 had resolved on your disgrace. Indeed it made me exceed- 
 ing sore of heart." 
 
 " Tush, girl, care not for it !" exclaimed Raleigh. " I did 
 hear of its being whispered before I left here, and thereat did 
 write Cecil an ambiguous letter which, methinks, should by 
 this time have put an end to all rumours. I know not why 
 it is, yet have I been marvellously ill used in the matter of 
 this expedition, for the queen kept not her faith with me, and 
 hath put me to a sore trial of my patience. But I doubt not 
 the great success that hath attended this adventure, will not 
 only create in her majesty a desire to make me amends for 
 what unkind things 1 have endured, but will win her pardon 
 for having married without her approval." 
 
 "Hast had great success, Walter?" inquired Dame Eliza- 
 beth anxiously. 
 
 "Ay, that we have, sweet Bess," he replied. " 'Tis true 
 I have most unjustly been called from my comm.and, but be- 
 fore I left the fleet I gave orders that one half of it, with one 
 
190 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 of the queen's ships under the command of Sir John Burgh, 
 should cruise off the coast of Spain, while Sir Martin Fro- 
 bisher, with the rest, should lay in wait off the Azores ; for 
 1 had great expectation that there we should have the good 
 hap to intercept the Plate fleet. Weil, I have so long been 
 kept back by contrary winds, that as 1 entered this port, I 
 was overtook by a fast-sailing vessel, that hath assured me 
 on credible authority, that Frobisher's squadron fell in with 
 the Indian ships as I expected; and hath taken a carrack of 
 the burthen of 1600 tons, valued at half a million sterling — 
 which most assuredly, is the largest and richest prize ever 
 had from the enemy." 
 
 " Indeed that doth give me exceeding comfort," cried she 
 very joyfully. 
 
 " I doubt 'twill be the best recommendation to the queen I 
 have been able to show this many a day," added Sir Walter. 
 
 " I do think, myself, it cometh most opportunely," observed 
 his devoted wife. " It hath put to flight all my foolish fears, 
 and methinks I can allow myself now to hope that all will 
 soon be well. We will then be so happy — so very happy, 
 won't we dear W^alter 1" 
 
 " Ay, dearest, without a doubt," he replied. 
 
 " Open, in the queen's name !" shouted out the voice of 
 one who beat the door rudely. 
 
 " Ah !" screamed Dame Elizabeth, starting from the fond 
 embrace of her husband, and trembling in every limb. 
 
 " Hush, Bess, 'tis nothing," said Sir Walter in an encou- 
 ]'aging tone, and went to open the door. " Ha, Sir George 
 Carew, right welcome !" he added, as he noticed who it was 
 that disturbed them ; and then one of a military appearance, 
 and somewhat serious countenance, walked into the room 
 with his rapier drawn. 
 
 " I am sorry that I am come of so unwelcome an errand," 
 said he. " But I have the queen's commandment to arrest 
 you. Sir Walter Raleigh, and you, Mistress Elizabeth, and 
 convey you prisoners to the Tower." 
 
 " Ah, I vt'as afraid of this — I have ruined thee," exclaimed 
 Dame Elizabeth in a piteous accent, as she fell sobbing on 
 his shoulder. 
 
 " Bess !" cried Sir Walter in a grave voice, as he lifted 
 her from him, and looked reprovingly in her face. " Remem- 
 ber, that thou art my wife !" 
 
 No sooner had these words been spoken than the beautiful 
 
AND HI3 FRIENDS. 191 
 
 woman, as if with a sudden effort to conquer her feelings, 
 cast back her head proudly ; and walking with a truly ma- 
 jestic carriage up to Sir George Carew, said in a firm voice, 
 ♦* 1 am ready, Sir." 
 
 CHAPTER XIIL 
 
 Other sins only speak, murder shrieks out. 
 
 The elements of water moisten the earth, 
 
 But blood flies upwards and bedews the lieavens. 
 
 Weijstek. 
 
 This yellow slave 
 
 Will knit and break religion ; bless the accursed ; 
 Make the hoar leprosy adored ! place thieves. 
 And give them title, knee, and approbation, 
 AVith senators on the bench. 
 
 Shaksprare. 
 
 There is the murderer, for ever stabbed — 
 
 Yet can he never die. Ford. 
 
 The miser of St. Mary Axe sat in a worm-eaten arm- 
 chair, in a narrow chamber, of comfortless and mean ap- 
 pearance, before a table on which were sundry parcels wrapt 
 up in dirty bits of rag, and a pair of small scales ; and he 
 was engaged in counting out a store of gold pieces from an 
 old stocking. His face looked somewhat sickly, and his 
 eyes yellowish ; and his hands shook much as he handled 
 his treasures. There was a window in the room, but it 
 was so covered with dirt, and the broken panes so pasted 
 over with parchm.ent, that it gave only sufficient light to 
 discern the squalidness and filth of the place, one or two 
 broken chairs, a rickety table, some bundles of papers co- 
 vered with dust, a great chest, with a padlock, that stood 
 open behind him, and himself^the owner of all. Beside his 
 usual dress, which never varied, be had on his spectacles, 
 with which he carefully scrutinised every coin, and weighed 
 some; now and then giving quick suspicious glances around 
 the room, and starting fearfully at every little noise. It is 
 not to be supposed that he held his peace, for he did talk 
 continually, as if for company ; and on divers subjects, much 
 at the same time, like unto one whose mind wandered some- 
 what. 
 
192 SKAKSPEARE 
 
 "Forty-nine — fifty," said he closely examining the last 
 piece he had taken from the stocking. " Methinks this be 
 exceeding light. It hath been clipped, doubtless. Mayhap 
 it hath been in the hands of some vile Jew 1 No matter — it 
 must with the rest. Alack ! how my head do ache ! Fifty- 
 one — fifty-two. What a dolt have I been to drink so much 
 of his villanous ale, knowing that it doth ever get into my 
 pate! Fifty-three — fifty-four. That Geoffrey Sarsnet be a most 
 ungodly varlet — he liketh not the hundreth psalm ! Fifty-five 
 — Fifty-six. Ha I this has a crack in it, sure enough. And 
 that he be a knave there can be no question, seeing how he 
 entertained my proposal of marrying Joanna ; and doth 
 allow her to retain the many costly things she has tricked 
 
 me of Fifty this be rather of a dull colour. Certes, I 
 
 have had a good escape from that seductive Jezebel. Fifty- 
 seven — fifty-eight. But she hath most shamefully cozened 
 me. I am glad I am quit of her. Fifty-nine — here be as 
 clean a face as if 'twas fresh from the mint. Oh, that I 
 could make her give up that which she hath robbed me of! 
 Sixt Ha ! — what noise be that ]" 
 
 The old miser looked about him very earnestly, and lis- 
 tened in a great tremble — for some sort of noise was heard. 
 
 " It be the wind, doubtless," continued he, " for it doth at 
 times make great disturbances. Sixty-one — sixty-two. I 
 marvel what hath become of my pestilent nephew ; but I am 
 hugely delighted that he hath taken himself off. I did think 
 he had robbed me, knowing he be a most dishonest caitiff — 
 as instance the excellent candle-ends he stole of me ; but I 
 have searched, and missed nothing. Sixty-three — surely 
 this piece be not good — it hath such a marvellous copper 
 look with it. — If any one were to give him a knock on his 
 knave's pate now, then should I be rid of all fear. But it be 
 the right weight to a hair. Sixty-four — sixty-five. He hath 
 been monstrously urgent concerning of his father, yet hath 
 he got nothing of the truth from me, for all his blustering. 
 Sixty-six. 'Twould be most unnatural were one of my 
 years unable to deceive such a boy as that. Sixty-seven — 
 sixty-eight. He doth not like the hundredth psalm, the re- 
 probate ! and as for her, she be the impudentest baggage 
 that lives. I would I could get back what she hath so infa- 
 mously cozened of me ! Sixty-nine — seventy. That be just 
 right ;" he added, as he proceeded to put his store of gold 
 back by handfuls into the old stocking ; and whilst he did 
 so his eyes seemed to glisten with exceeding gratification. 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 193 
 
 " 'Tis well I married not that vilJanous jade — a murrain 
 on her I" exclaimed he, " Else the infinite pleasure I find in 
 such brave sight as this, should I not know for long ; for all 
 would go to satisfy her prodigal humours. What a dolt 
 was I to let her have of me such store of costly things ; and 
 he such an ungodly wretch as not to like the hundredth 
 psalm ! My head doth seem to split of this aching. Oh, 
 'tis an exquisite fine sight to see so much lovely gold!" 
 
 " ""Tis an exquisite fine sight, indeed !" said a gruff voice, 
 at his elbow. 
 
 " Mur — mur — mur — mur — murder !" screamed Gregory 
 Vellum, as loud as his fright would allow, and letting drop 
 some of the gold upon noticing two fierce-looking men 
 standing over him, regarding his treasures with eyes kindling 
 with excessive covetousness. 
 
 " Take that for thy bawling !" exclaimed one, hitting him 
 sharp over the pate with the pommel of his dagger, "and 
 if thou brealhest but a sound loud enough to be heard within 
 a yard of thee, I'll slit thy weasan the same minute." 
 
 " Nay, what be the use of sparing such an old hunks," 
 observed the other, who looked the most desperate cut-throat 
 of the two. " Let me give him a dig in the ribs, 'twill do 
 his business for him, I'll warrant." 
 
 " 'Sblood ! be not such a fool, Tony," replied the other, 
 sharply. " He hath more hoards than what we see ; and 
 how shall we find 'em, if we make him not point 'em out to 
 us ?" 
 
 *' True, Jack?" responded the other. "So let's bind him 
 whilst we secure the prog around, ihen will we make liim tell 
 where lieth the rest." Then these villains bound the miser, 
 with cords, to the chair on which he sal ; he, too frightened 
 either to move or speak, made no noise, save that of his teeth 
 chattering together, and rolling of his eyes (from which the 
 spectacles had fallen,) with extreme fear, as he turned his 
 looks from one to the other. 
 
 " 'Slife ! this be a proper windfall, Tony !" cried he that 
 was called Jack, as he proceeded to pour into his hat the con- 
 tents of the stocking. " But I did tell thee the old miser was 
 a bird worth the plucking." 
 
 " So thou didst, bully rook !" answered Tony. " But let 
 us count all the coin into thy hat, that we may the easier di- 
 vide it." 
 
 " That will uot I," replied the other, with a loud laugh. 
 
 VOL. I. 17 
 
194 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 •♦ Find a stocking for thyself, man, and mayhap it shall fit 
 thee as doth this me." 
 
 *• What, shall we not share alike and be hanged to thee?'* 
 asked Tony, fiercely, as he undid one of the parcels done up 
 in a dirty rag. " Nay, I care not," he added, and instantly 
 swept all the parcels into his hat. *' Each of these be full of 
 Harry the Eighth's nobles." 
 
 *' Nay, then, let us share, Tony," cried Jack, his forbid- 
 ding visage now seeming disturbed at the other's greater good 
 fortune, " 'iwas but a jest of mine." 
 
 '* 'Sblood ! I care not, jest or no jest!'' responded Tony 
 with a chuckle of satisfaction, as he poured out the contents 
 of each dirty rag. " Keep to thy slocking — I'll keep to my 
 rags." 
 
 " Hang thee for a villain !" muttered the other, and then 
 turning round, went straight to the open chest, the which see- 
 ing, made the old miser utter a faint exclamation — a sort of 
 wailing that denoted both terror and despair. 
 
 " 'Slife ! art weary of thy life ?" exclaimed Jack, threaten- 
 ing the trembling scrivener with his drawn dagger, which he 
 held as if about to plunge into the old man's side, and giving 
 him a look which seemed to make his very blood turn cold 
 within him. 
 
 " Here be the best prize of all !" cried Jack, as he began 
 searching of llie chest. 
 
 "Ha! what hast got?" inquired Tony, hastening to the 
 side of his companion. *' I'faiih, Jack, this be a prize in- 
 deed I" continued he, as following the other's example, he 
 eagerly commenced bawling out of the chest divers pieces of 
 rich silver plate, such as candlesticks, tankards, drinking cups, 
 plates, and the like, whereof eacli appropriated as much as he 
 could lay his hands on ; yet seemed he to grumble much at 
 whatever his associate did get into his possession. The spi- 
 rit of avarice was at work in the hearts of both, and the great 
 wealth each one found himself possessed of, only made him 
 all the greedier to have more. 
 
 " If this be not the making of us for life, I know not what 
 filching means," observed one, with his eyes glowing with 
 unlawful pleasure at the costliness of the spoil he was making 
 his own. 
 
 " We will turn honest upon the strength of it," said the 
 other, equally busy at his work. "We will buy us some 
 place of lordship, in the country, and swagger it as bravely as 
 any knight of the shire." 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 195 
 
 " And why not become parliament men ?" asked tlie first. 
 *' They that have been knights of the post will make better 
 knights of the sliiie than any, seeing that they be marvellous 
 skilful in fingering the people's money." 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! — that be true enough," exclaimed his com- 
 panion. " So knights of the shire we must needs become; 
 and then will we have a law made that rogues shall be pro- 
 tected in their calling till they turn honest." 
 
 " Oh '" groaned Gregory Vellum in all a miser's agony, as 
 he beheld his secret treasures passing away from his custody. 
 
 "Ha! What, dost move? — dost breathe?" cried Jack, 
 scowling at him so ferociously that it did set his teeth a chat- 
 tering all the more. 
 
 " 'Slife '.—let's finish him at once," said Tony. " Then 
 will he tell no tales. Methinks we shall have enough to do to 
 get away what we have found without seeking for more." 
 
 "I tell thee we will pluck him bare first," replied the other 
 ferociously. ♦* Such a prize comes not in our way oft, there- 
 fore are we the more bound to make the most of it we can. 
 For mine own part, I'll risk Tyburn rather than leave him 
 so much as would keep his miserly old carcass for an hour." 
 
 •' Well, hang him for a villain, I care not," observed his 
 associate. " But what have we here ?" he added, as on put- 
 ting his hand into a goblet he did bring out of it sundry gold 
 rings, with precious stones therein. 
 
 " Nay, I must have some of those !" cried Jack, making a 
 snatch at them. 
 
 " I'll see thee hanged ere I will let thee," replied Tony, 
 quickly placing the goblet out of the other's reach. 
 
 " 'Sblood ! — but I will be even with thee !" muttered his 
 associate, regarding him with a threatening visage, which he 
 seemed in no way to heed. 
 
 " Tush ! — what care I !" said the other. " Find a goblet 
 for thyself, and niijyhap thou shalt have good store of jewel- 
 lery in it." 
 
 " J^'^y greediness is properly punislied — for see ! here be 
 something worth more than all the paltry rings." And, as 
 he opened a jewel-case, he exhibited a cosily necklace of 
 pearls set in fine gold. 
 
 " I had mine eyes on that ere thou didst lay a finger on't," 
 said Tony, exceedingly vexed that he had missed so fair a 
 prize. 
 
 " Tush ! what care I ?" replied Jack, in the very words 
 his associate had used a moment since. 
 
190 . SHAKSPEARE 
 
 " Wilt let me have no share in't ?" asked the first staring 
 on the jewel and then on the thief with eyes of devilish co- 
 vetousness and malice. 
 
 "Share in't!" exclaimed the other with a scornful laugh. 
 " Not so much as would buy thee a rope to hang thyself 
 with." 
 
 *' Then take that !" cried Tony, thrusting his dagger at him. 
 
 " What ! — wouldststab, villain ?" shouted Jack, starting up 
 in a monstrous rage on finding himself wounded. " Then 
 here's at thee." 
 
 *' And that — and that!" continued his companion, repeating 
 his blows, which the other tried to ward off. 
 
 *' Murderous devil — I had thee there !" exclaimed the other, 
 as he succeeded in digging his weapon into his opponent's 
 shoulder ; and thereupon commenced the most sanguinary 
 fight that ever was seen ; for the two villains, smarting with 
 pain and rage, and driven on by extreme thirst for gain, did 
 follow each other round and about the room, cutting furiously 
 one at the other's flesh, with abundance of curses and execra- 
 tions, — their looks all the while being more resembling those 
 of fiends than of any thing human, and their bodies stream- 
 ing with gore from their different wounds. Gregory Vellum, 
 half dead with fright, stared upon the spectacle with eyes 
 ready to start from his head ; his teeth chattered as if there 
 was no keeping them quiet; and at every blow that was 
 struck he gave a wince as if the weapon entered his own 
 flesh. They passed him close several times, and one striking 
 furiously at the other upon the moment, some blood did spirt 
 over his face, at the which he seemed ready to give up the 
 ghoet, he uttered so pitiful a scream. This might have 
 brought on him more dreadful punishment from the two rob- 
 bers ; yet were they so fired by their mutual hatred one of 
 the other, and each so eager to destroy his associate, that nei- 
 ther did take of him the slightest notice. 
 
 All on a sudden, having dropped their daggers, they had 
 got locked in each other's clutch, pulling here and pulling 
 there, tearing at each other's hair, and giving blows with 
 all their strength, when tumbling over something, both came 
 to the ground together and began rolling over and over, 
 swearing horribly, and striving to bite at each other's faces. 
 Surely never were two such incarnate demons seen. There 
 appeared to be nothing human of them, and the mutual 
 deadliness of thek hatred was terrible to look upon. 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 197 
 
 " To hell with thee for a monstrous murderous villain as 
 thou art :" cried Jack, who having recovered his weapon as 
 he passed over it, had plunged it into Tony's breast as he 
 lay upon him. Tiie other raised his head as if with one last 
 effort, and fixed his teeth in the cheek of his murderer. 
 
 " Ah !" screamed he in agony, letting his head fall with 
 that of his companion. " Unclose thy villanous teeth !" 
 Jack then stabbed the other several times whilst writhing 
 above him with the pain, expecting to get free thereby; but 
 he was in the gripe of the dead, and all his cutting and 
 screaming availed him none at all. The torture he endured 
 must have been fearful, for the perspiration run down over 
 his face in a thick shower, as he sometimes was cursing 
 dreadfully, sometimes making very pitiful moanings. At 
 last, as if unable to bear it any longer, he thrust his dagger 
 into the dead man's mouth, unlocked his jaws, and freed Ijis 
 own lacerated face. 
 
 " A murrain on thee, thou pestilent villain !" exclaimed 
 the survivor, casting wrathful glances at his fallen comrade, 
 " if thou hadst any life in thy treacherous body, I would 
 hack thee into shreds for having so spoilt my face : but I have 
 mauled thee beyond all hope, that's one comfort. 'Slife — 
 how I do bleed I" he added, as he looked to his hurts, which 
 were by no means slight or few, and did attempt to bandage 
 them. " This dig in my side, methinks, hath an ugly look. 
 Alack, what a thrice cursed knave hast thou been, Tony ! 
 and a fool to boot. Not content with thine own gettings, 
 thou didst covet mine ; and now I have all." 
 
 " Oh I" groaned the old miser. 
 
 " What ! dost attempt to give the alarm 1" cried out the 
 robber. " Nay, then will I settle thee at once." He rose 
 with his dagger in his hand, as if to put his threat into exe- 
 cution, but his foot slipped in the blood that had dabbled the 
 boards, and in falling he burst the bandage he had tied over 
 his wound in the side, which began to bleed afresh. At this 
 he renewed his execrations, and again essayed to stop the 
 hemorrhage ; but he seemed to be getting weaker rapidly, 
 his hands were exceeding unsteady, and his eyes appeared 
 to swim in their sockets. " O, I be deadly sick !" he ex- 
 claimed in a faint voice, as he supported himself on one 
 hand, sitting on the floor ; thereat his head drooped on his 
 shoulder, his arm gave way from under him ; and he fell 
 smack upon his back with a loud groan. 
 
 17* 
 
198 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 Gregory Vellum liad watched tlie struggles of the sur- 
 viving villain with mingled horror and fright — for a more 
 ghastly object never presented itself to the eye — his face 
 being so dreadfully disfigured and covered with dust and 
 gore, from amid which the ferocious expression of his eyes 
 glared upon the trembling scrivener, whenever he turned in 
 that direction, in a manner so terrible, that it made him feci 
 as if his heart was bursting in twain. Seeing him fall and 
 lie motionless, he did think he was dead, the thought whereof 
 gave him inexpressible comfort; but not liking the idea of 
 being kept bound close to two dead men, he presently began 
 to scream at the very top of his voice, hoping that some 
 of the neighbours would come to his assistance. He had 
 scarce done this, when the robber who had swooned raised 
 himself, and fixed upon the miser a look so threatening and 
 ghastly, that he presently drew in his breath, as if his last 
 hour had come ; but he could in no manner draw away his 
 gaze from the villain's horrible stare, and there he sat staring 
 at him, with his teeth knocking against each other, and every 
 limb a trembling like unto one in a mortal agony. 
 
 Presently he heard some sort of a noise below stairs, at 
 the which he gave a sudden gasp ; but the terrible eyes of 
 the dying robber did then glare upon him so ghostlike, that 
 he dared not make a sound, and felt that he could not if he 
 dared. 
 
 "Uncle! uncle! where are you?" he heard cried out to 
 him, and though he recognised the voice of his nephew, 
 whom a short time since he would not have cared to see 
 hanged, it now seemed to him the voice of an angel from 
 Heaven ; and he was about to reply, when the robber 
 crawled a bit nearer, with his dreadful dagger in his hand, 
 the sight whereof put him into so monstrous a sweat that 
 he felt himself drenched all over. Still the dying villain 
 crawled slowly towards him, dragging his wounded body 
 along by his hands ; and though at the same time Gregory 
 heard his nephew's foot upon the stair, the villain was so 
 nigh tipon him, having got his hand upon the bottom rail of 
 his chair to raise himself up, with his disfigured face, and 
 terrible eyes, seemingly possessed of a thousand new hor- 
 rors, upon a level with his knees, that knocked against each 
 other most deplorably, he did give himself up for lost; and 
 when he found the ghastly countenance close to his own 
 face, and the fearful weapon uplifted over his breast, his 
 heart sunk within him, and he swooned outright. 
 
AND HI? FRIENDS. 190 
 
 Master Francis, coming to visit his kinsman, to see if he 
 could gain of him any intelligence of his father, and finding 
 the door ajar, and seeing that his kinsman was not below 
 stairs, he did rail out ; but receiving no answer, mounted to a 
 room he knew of old he was oft to be found when wanted. 
 At opening the door, a siorht presented itself to him, the like 
 of which, surely, he had never seen. There was the room 
 as unsightly as a shamble, and strewed all about with coin, 
 jewels, plate, and most precious things, which the robbers, in 
 their scuffle, had rolled over and over, and knocked in all di- 
 rections — one man lay dead, and another — the frighlfullest 
 object his eye ever lighted on — supporting himself on the 
 chair with one arm, had the other raised clasping a blood- 
 stained dagger, which was descending in the direction of the 
 lieart of his kinsman, who already looked more dead than 
 alive. Ai the robber he made a rush upon the instant, and 
 ■caught him by the back of his jerkin at the scuff of the neck, 
 in the very nick of time to save the old miser's life ; and 
 dragged him from the chair a distance of some yards, and 
 flung him heavily on the boards, The dying villain did glare 
 on Master Francis with a look so terrible that he could never 
 forget it — the weapon fell from his hand — he gave one mighty 
 shiver in all his limbs, then was there a hollow rattling in his 
 throat, which lasted but a few seconds; and then he lay as 
 dead as any stone. 
 
 The youth, in a monstrous marvel at the whole scene, more 
 especially, at seeing such a store of precious things lying 
 scattered about as if of no sort of value, did presently cut 
 with his own dagger, the cords that bound his kinsman, think- 
 ing at first, that lie was as dead as the others — but in some 
 minutes, after calling to him a bit, the old man opened his 
 eyes very fearfully, and with a great wildness ; but, they 
 lighting upon his nephew, who, very concernedly, was as- 
 suring him of his safely, he did grow more composed ; and, 
 upon looking about and seeing of his treasures so scattered, 
 he started up with a suddenness that nearly upset Master 
 Francis, and, as if ailing nothing, he began to gather up his 
 riches. 
 
 *' Oh, these devilish villains!" exclaimed he to the won- 
 dering youth. " They did break in upon me — having got 
 entrance I know not how, and, after binding and threatening 
 of me, proceeded to rifle me of these valuables ; which an 
 honest friend hath left in my custody — for thou knowest they 
 
200 SHAKSrEARE 
 
 cannot be mine, seeing I be so 'exceeding] poor ; and then 
 falling out upon iheir division, did straiglilway go to murder- 
 ing of each other. When one had killed his companion, the 
 survivor though sorely wounded liimself, like a murderous 
 villain as he was, made towards me with his dagger to kill 
 me, the which thou didst luckily prevent by thy coming in. 
 But they have given me a most mortal friglit." 
 
 "Indeed you have had a narrow escape, uncle," observed 
 Master Francis. 
 
 " Ay, have I," replied the old miser, very carefully wiping 
 of every thing that had got in any way stained. " And I give 
 God thanks for it — more especially for the saving of the 
 honest man's goods ; who, had he suffered aught, might, per- 
 adventure, have wanted me to make up his loss ; the which 
 thou knowest I could never do, being in so poor a state that I 
 can scarce get enough to live by. But take heed that you 
 give no hint I have these things in my custody, else the re- 
 port thereof may bring other murderous thieves upon me, 
 and not only shall I be like to be robbed of my life, but all 
 this goodly store I may be despoiled of, as I was but now like 
 to be; which doubtless, would be the utter ruin of the honest 
 man who hath placed them in my keeping." 
 
 "Be assured I shall say nothing," replied the youth. "But 
 shall I not assist you in gathering them up?" 
 
 " Nay, touch them not, I prythee !" quickly cried out 
 Gregory Vellum in great alarm, and casting a suspicious 
 glance at his nephew, as if doubtful of the honesty of his 
 intentions. "I will look to them myself." 
 
 ** Well, let it be as you like, uncle," said Master Francis, 
 in no way offended, for he had much experience of his kins- 
 man's suspicious temper ; besides, he wanted not to anger 
 him, by taking offence at aught he might do, as he had an ob- 
 ject to gain thereby, the obtaining of which, was to him of 
 the greatest interest. 
 
 " But where hast thou been all this lime ?" inquired his 
 uncle after a short silence — still employing himself diligently 
 in wiping the plate and jewels, and replacing them in the 
 chest. " Thou didst leave me of a sudden, without why or 
 wherefore." 
 
 " Methought 'twas time to do something for myself," an- 
 swered the youth, " and not any longer to be a burthen to 
 you, who seemed to lack either the will or the means to make 
 my life of any comfort" — 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 201 
 
 ** The means, Francis — the means," said tlie o!d man, 
 quickly interrupting him. "'Twas the means I laci^ed. In- 
 deed 1 be exceeding poor." 
 
 " By the recommendation of a trne friend, I did accident- 
 ally as it were, encounter," continued his nephew, " I suc- 
 ceeded in getting the respectable office of secretary to one of 
 our chiefest men at court." 
 
 *' Truly thou seemest in very fine feather," remarked Gre- 
 gory Vellum, somewhat sarcastically, as he turned to notice 
 the handsome apparelling of his youthful relative ; " I war- 
 rant me thou will spend on thy back all that thou earnest. 
 Well, I care not, so that thou comest not back on my hands." 
 
 " But I came to beg a favour of you, uncle," said Master 
 Francis. 
 
 " Nay, ask of me nothing," hastily replied the old miser, 
 as he left off counting the gold pieces into the old stocking ; 
 " I have scarce wherewith to live; I cannot let thee have a 
 groat. Thou hast taken thyself off, and must fare as thou 
 canst; so come not a begging, for it be of no manner of use, 
 I be so exceeding poor, as thou knowest." 
 
 *'l want not money of you," observed the youth ; "I have 
 enough for my wants, and my patron doth not let me lack 
 aught liis power or purse can procure. I seek of you only 
 that you will truly tell me who was my father." 
 
 " What dost come a worrying me of thy father 1" asked 
 the scrivener, with a disturbed countenance, as he quickly 
 caught hold of some parchments that were nigh unto him, 
 and placed them at once in the chest. " I know naught of 
 him that be worth the knowing ; he was some paltry fellow 
 or other — a very mean person." 
 
 " Was he married to my mother ?" inquired his nephew, 
 more earnestly. 
 
 " Prythee question me not," replied the old man, seem- 
 ingly taking it very uneasily. "It matters not at all; I 
 cannot be answering of thy unprofitable queries. It be of 
 no consequence whether he had her in marriage or other- 
 wise, for he was a monstrous paltry fellow at all events." 
 
 " Indeed it be of vital consequence to me," cried the youth, 
 in an increasing agitation; "I pray you, uncle, tell me the 
 truth." 
 
 " Well, then, if thou wilt have it, I will tell thee," an- 
 swered the scrivener, " I have kept it from the world, and 
 
202 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 given out otherwise, for the sake of my sister's reputation ; 
 but I can tell thee of a certainty that thou art illegitimate." 
 
 " Ah ! I feared 'twere so," exclaimed Master Francis, as 
 the colour mounted to his cheek, and he hid his face in his 
 hands, for very shame. The which seeing, Gregory Vellum 
 regarded only with a sort of smile, that made his leaden 
 physiognomy not a whit more pleasant than ordinary, and 
 continued the counting of his money. 
 
 " Was he one Holdfast, and did he live in noted bad cha- 
 racter?" asked the other, suddenly, as if with a kind of 
 desperation. 
 
 " Ay — very like — very like," replied the old man. '* If I 
 remember me, his name was Holdfast, or something exceed- 
 ing near it ; and that he was a notorious villain is out of all 
 question." 
 
 " Then I know the worst," said he, calmly, but with a 
 great paleness of face, " and 1 will now take my leave of 
 you." 
 
 " Stop awhile !" bawled out the miser, hastily coming up 
 to his nephew, as he was approaching the door. The latter, 
 on this, did stay his steps. 
 
 " Hast taken nothing whilst I was in the swoon "?" he 
 asked, gazing on the other with a monstrous suspicious 
 countenance. 
 
 " Nay, this is too bad," said Master Francis, in no mood 
 to be so spoken to, and moving off. 
 
 " But thou shalt not go till I have searched thee," sharply 
 added Gregory Vellum, as he laid hold on him to make him 
 stay. " I am sure, by thy wanting to be gone with such 
 speed, that thou hast stolen something." 
 
 " Away ! you are past bearing !" cried the youth, as he 
 pushed him back, and w^alked out of the room. 
 
 " Francis ! Francis !" the old miser bawled out, as his 
 nephew closed the door upon him. " Prythee leave me not 
 alone with these dead men ! I will not search thee, I do not 
 think thou hast robbed me of any thing. Nay, go not away 
 till the house be rid of these corpses ! Francis ! Francis, I 
 say !" and lie came down the stairs after him, in great 
 alarm. 
 
 The unhappy youth by this time was into the street, pacing 
 along with a most woful heart. Indeed he had much to 
 trouble him. He knew that his patron, Sir Walter Raleigh, 
 whom he had begun to love exceedingly, was a prisoner in 
 
AND HIS FRIENDS. 203 
 
 the Tower ; when he could get out, no man could say — all 
 that he had dreaded to learn of his parentage seemed now 
 put beyond the possibility of question ; at the which he felt 
 so cast down as scarce to know what he was a doing; and 
 the late behaviour of his miserly kinsman, though nothing 
 more than he might expect of his disposition, in the humour 
 in which he was, did irritate him all the more. After pass- 
 ing along a little way in extreme despondency of mind, he 
 bethought him of visiting his beloved Joanna, whose recep- 
 tion of him, he doubted not, would presently relieve him of 
 his miserable feelings ; yet when he came to think of the 
 tone of her letters not coming up to his expectations, in the 
 peculiar niood in which he then was, he straight began to 
 have suspicions that she regarded him less than he would 
 have her ; but in a few minutes there came to his recollec- 
 tion numberless kindnesses she had done him, which to him 
 were as positive proofs of the sincerity of her affection. The 
 remembrance of these things did assure him somewhat, and 
 became to him of such great comfort, that for the time it 
 clean drove all unpleasant thoughts out of his head. 
 
 At this moment there came on a very smart shower of 
 rain, and he, wishing to save his new doublet a wetting, 
 hastened for shelter under a gateway close at hand. Pass- 
 ing beneath here, he spied an open door at one side, for 
 which he made, but presently desisted of his purpose on 
 hearing voices that of a certainty came from it. He was 
 about to content himself with the shelter of the gateway as 
 far as might be from the door, when he recognised the voice 
 of Joanna, that did at once fix him to the spot. 
 
 " Nay, nay, my lord," said she, " it may please you to 
 affirm this, but I doubt you affect me so much as you say." 
 
 " O' my life, adorable Joanna !" answered one, very ur- 
 gently, whom Master Francis instantly knew, by the man- 
 ner of speaking, to be my Lord Cobham, whom he had oflen 
 heard. " I swear to you I do love you exceedingly. In 
 truth, your infinite loveliness is of such a sort, that never 
 expect I to find aught so worthy of the steadfast and most 
 perfect devotedness with which I do regard you." 
 
 Speech like this, it may be believed, Master Francis liked 
 not at all. 
 
 " Methinks you are but trifiing with me," observed the 
 other. 
 
 " Nay — my heart's treasure : believe me, I never was in 
 
204 SHAKSPEARE 
 
 such earnest !" replied her companion. " Take this ring— 
 'tis a ruby of great price ; yet should it be inestimable to 
 come up with my estimation of your worthiness, exquisitely 
 beautiful Joanna ! Here — let me place it on your most de- 
 licate finger." 
 
 At this Master Francis began to be much troubled that 
 she, whom he so loved, should accept gifts from one who, 
 to his knowledge, was noted for his gallantries. 
 
 " I scarce think it be right of me to take your gift, my 
 Lord" — said Joanna. •' Yet to refuse it might seem dis- 
 courteous of me — so I will e'en accept of it." 
 
 " And grant of me in return but one precious favour," 
 added the Lord Cobham in an entreating voice, that did much 
 increase the disturbance of Master Francis. ♦' It be but to 
 press that tempting lip, compared with which, the ruby must 
 seem but pale." 
 
 " Indeed, that I can never do,'' replied she. — " Nay, hold 
 me not so closely, my lord, I entreat of you." 
 
 This put Master Francis in a perfect tremble, and he sud- 
 denly felt the blood a rushing to his cheek— yet was he like 
 one chained to the spot ; for though he felt desperately in- 
 clined to disturb them, he was so affected by the unexpected- 
 ness of what he had heard, that he had not the power of 
 moving. 
 
 " Turn not away that exquisite countenance, admirable 
 Joanna !" exclaimed the Lord Cobham, while a rustling was 
 heard as if he was a struggling with her, which did increase 
 Master Francis' disorder mightily : " and strive not to move 
 from arms so eager to hold so perfect a creature in their fond 
 embrace. In good truth, I must sweetest." 
 
 " Have done, my lord, I pray you ! You hurt me, indeed 
 you do. Nay, some one will be a coming ! How you tease ! 
 Well, if you will, it must needs be," was all that Joanna said 
 in reply ; and Master Francis, thinking from what she spoke, 
 that she liked not my Lord Cobham's advances, with one 
 desperate effort was about to break in upon him, when he 
 heard the consent given, and immediately followed by the 
 close smacking of lips, which moved him so against her, that 
 he rushed from the gateway on the instant. 
 
 END OF VOL. I. 
 
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