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 SAMUEL RUFUS HARSHMAN.
 
 MEMOIRS 
 
 OF 
 
 SAMUEL RUFUS HARSHMAN 
 
 Comprising His Autobiography, Recol- 
 lections of Men and Events, Camp-Meet- 
 ings, and Other Meetings held in Ohio, 
 Indiana, and Illinois; also Something of 
 His Later Life, Obituary, Letters and 
 Sermons, 
 
 PUBLISHED BY 
 HIS FRIENDS 
 
 MDCCCCXIV
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 With the publication of these Memoirs, we think 
 our Father would have liked us to explain that he felt 
 no small degree of hesitation and reluctance about 
 preparing them. It was only after repeated requests 
 and repeated urging on the part of his children that 
 he so far overcame his modesty as to consent to set 
 down the story of his life. He has done so primarily 
 for their pleasure, and that they may have an au- 
 thentic record of his life and ancestry. After he had 
 commenced the work, he found great pleasure in 
 transcribing his experiences and recollections, and 
 this coupled with his delight in the pleasure his 
 children found in reading them, made of the task 
 an enjoyment and a recreation. In fact, he became 
 so interested in the work as many times to over- 
 tax his strength, and suffered much consequent 
 discomfort. 
 
 No, his life's story was not written because he felt 
 that in the eyes of the world he had done anything 
 that was of any importance. From their point of 
 view he was, as he said in his last sickness, " just a 
 poor fool who spent his life trying to do men good." 
 And this, is, no doubt, the gentlest pronouncement 
 that carnal men would make on his life. He was so 
 eminently foolish as to follow God's admonition, 
 " Whosoever of you will be chiefest shall be the 
 servant of all." This we believe epitomizes his life; 
 he was indeed " the servant of all." 
 
 We feel that such a life cannot help but be an in- 
 spiration and encouragement to those who would follow 
 in the foot-steps of the lowly Nazarene ; and it is 
 with this hope that his life is given to his friends. 
 
 His CHILDREN. 
 Sullivan, Illinois, 
 April 4th., 1014.
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Chapter. Page. 
 
 1. My Ancestry 1 
 
 2. My Birth and Early Childhood 6 
 
 3. My First Experience as a School-Teacher 21 
 
 4. A New Religious Experience 28 
 
 5. I Continue Teaching 32 
 
 6. I Emigrate 43 
 
 7. I Became a Methodist Preacher 52 
 
 8. A New Experience and My Marriage.... 78 
 
 9. I Leave the Methodist Sect 96 
 
 10. Camp-Meetings 114 
 
 11. Camp-Meetings and a Bereavement 124 
 
 12. In Memoriam 131 
 
 13. Continued Labors 137 
 
 14. My Visit to Indiana 153 
 
 15. More Camp-Meetings and Other Meetings 161 
 
 16. Camp-Meetings and Other Meetings (Con- 
 
 tinued) 176 
 
 17. I Become a Farmer 187 
 
 18. I Acquire a Business and a New House. . 200 
 Addenda Later Life, Letters and Obituary. . . 209 
 
 Sermon God's Means of Salvation 233 
 
 Sermon The Conversion of St. Paul 246 
 
 Sermon The Doctrine of the Imputation of 
 
 Sin and Righteousness 259
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 MY ANCESTRY. 
 
 THE family to which I belong, and from which I 
 derive my origin, so far as I know has never been 
 distinguished in war or peace. The name does not 
 appear upon the roll of fame either as of warrior 
 or statesman, as prominent in the learned professions, 
 as preacher or professor, as financier or engineer, as 
 inventor or discoverer. In this respect, I have no 
 reason to boast of my ancestry. If I were a multi- 
 millionaire, I should waste no money in trying to trace 
 my descent from some robber baron of the middle 
 ages, believing as I do, that I should find my remote 
 ancestors much closer to the soil if not actually at- 
 tached to some of it. On the other hand, I have never 
 heard of one of the name having been hanged or sent 
 to states prison, though as Dr. Samuel Johnson re- 
 marked of his family, some of them may have deserved 
 it. The men of my patronymic have been, in general, 
 honest, industrious law-abiding members of the com- 
 munity, thrifty and moderately well-to-do. Some of 
 them have been quite wealthy, but those were gen- 
 erally distant relatives of mine. The old stock were 
 not usually religiously inclined, but in this respect the 
 younger generations have greatly changed. The
 
 2 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 Harshmans of the present time are generally religious. 
 The poet Gray's lines, describing the occupants of a 
 rural church-yard, will fitly apply to my ancestors. 
 
 " Far from the madding crowd's ignoble strife 
 
 Their sober wishes never learned to stray; 
 Along the cool sequestered vale of life 
 They took the even tenor of their way." 
 
 My great-great-grandfather, as nearly as I can 
 learn, emigrated from Germany to the United States, 
 or rather to the colony of Virginia, about the middle 
 of the eighteenth century. I think he must have lived 
 in the region of the Shenandoah valley. As was usual 
 with Germans, he had a numerous family, and some 
 of his sons migrated westward. An event occurred 
 in his family which has been handed down by tradition 
 through all the branches of his descendants, and 
 which enables them to establish their relationship. 
 One of his sons was bitten by a mad dog and de- 
 veloped a case of hydrophobia. In attempts to control 
 him in his paroxysms, he was smothered to death 
 under a feather bed. I have never learned what was 
 the name of this emigrant. My great-grandfather 
 was one of his sons, and I judge, though I do not 
 know, that he was a younger son. As a young man 
 he removed to Maryland and settled near Hagerstown, 
 where he married a German girl, also an emigrant, 
 by the name of Madaline Schmitt or Smith. She 
 was a " Redemptioner," that is, one who, unable to 
 pay her passage across the ocean, was sold on her 
 arrival in this country to pay her fare. She fell into 
 the hands of a cruel master and suffered great hard- 
 ship before her time was worked out. She lived to
 
 HARStf MAN'S MEMOIRS. 3 
 
 quite an advanced age, nearly one hundred years. I 
 saw her frequently during my childhood and early 
 youth, though I do not remember that she ever 
 noticed me. She was then in her dotage, living in 
 the family of her youngest son. Her husband had 
 died several years before. My great-grandfather's 
 name was Matthias. By some means he lost the most 
 of his property in Maryland, and removed farther 
 west in the latter part of the eighteenth century and 
 lived for a number of years in Washington county, 
 Pennsylvania, a short distance from Pittsburgh. Here 
 his family grew to manhood and womanhood. Then 
 in the early years of the nineteenth century, he changed 
 his location again, removing to Trumbull county, Ohio, 
 and settling first in Austintown township and after- 
 wards in Lordstown township, where he and his 
 youngest son bought a farm. Here he resided until 
 his death. I have no information as to the exact date 
 of his death, but it was somewhere in tfie thirties. He 
 had a family of five sons and four daughters, all of 
 whom lived to old age, none of them dying under 
 seventy, I think, and several of them living to above 
 eighty years. My grandfather, Jacob Harshman, 
 was one of the younger children. I do not know 
 whether he was born before the family left Maryland 
 or not. However, he grew up and married in Wash- 
 ington county, Pennsylvania. Opportunities for get- 
 ting an education were few at that time, and it is 
 probable that the advantages of an education were 
 not appreciated as they should have been, or more 
 earnest efforts would have been put forth in that di- 
 rection. My grandfather had no education, though 
 I think his brothers had. Some of them I know were
 
 4 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 ordinary scholars for those times. My grandfather's 
 wife, my paternal grandmother, was Elizabeth Mon- 
 inger. She was of pure German extraction, as was 
 my grandfather. All her life she spoke German flu- 
 ently, that is, the dialect called " Pennsylvania Dutch," 
 in fact, she never lost the habit of substituting w for v 
 in such words as " vinegar." She had a good common 
 education and could read, as well as speak both Eng- 
 lish and German. My grandfather's children all re- 
 ceived a fair education and three of them were school 
 teachers. They had the same number of children as 
 my great-grandparents, viz., nine, but there was one 
 more son and one less of the daughters; there being 
 six sons and three daughters. My grandfather gave 
 his daughters the names of three of his sisters : Mary, 
 Catherine and Elizabeth, though they went by the 
 names of Polly, Katy and Betsy. These nine children 
 all lived to be more than sixty years old, several of 
 them over eighty, and but two died under seventy. 
 
 My father who was also named Jacob, was the fifth 
 child and third son. The names of the sons and 
 daughters in the order of their birth were Matthias, 
 John, Mary, Catherine, Jacob, George Washington, 
 Elizabeth, Levi and Ephraim. The three younger sons 
 were the school teachers. My father attended school 
 long enough to learn to read and write and to cypher 
 to the " rule of three." In middle life, by study and 
 practice, he greatly improved his hand-writing and his 
 skill in mathematics. My Grandfather Harshman was 
 a man of fair complexion and blue eyes; my grand- 
 mother had black eyes and hair. My father favored 
 his mother and was of dark complexion. As I am 
 unlike my father, fair skinned and have blue eyes, I 
 always thought that I derived my looks from my
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 5 
 
 mother, but on examining a photograph of my Grand- 
 father Harshman taken in his old age and which 
 recently came into my possession, I was surprised to 
 note how much I resemble him. My father was born 
 on December 4th, 1821, in Washington county, Penn- 
 sylvania. While he was yet a lad my grandfather re- 
 moved to Lordstown, Trumbull county, Ohio, and 
 bought a small farm adjoining his father's farm. In 
 the spring of 1841, when my father was past nineteen 
 years of age, he was married to Elizabeth Jones, who 
 was several years his senior. She was born in Cum- 
 berland county, Pennsylvania, but I am not informed 
 of the exact date. She was the daughter of Samuel 
 Jones, a common laborer, who raised a large family, 
 two sons and eight daughters. My maternal grand- 
 mother was of German extraction. Her maiden name 
 was Susannah Ernst. Grandfather Jones was of Eng- 
 lish or Welsh extraction. He was a man of unusual 
 physical strength and of an intelligence above the 
 average, as some of his letters I have seen testify ; but 
 he was lacking in ability to manage his affairs and being 
 burdened with a large family he never acquired prop- 
 erty. My Grandmother Jones' family were thrifty 
 people. All their ten children grew up and all but two 
 lived to old age. The youngest son, William, was a 
 feeble child and never grew strong, and died in middle 
 age. My mother died before thirty years of age. 
 Grandfather Jones removed to Ohio before his chil- 
 dren were all grown. His daughters, as they grew up, 
 were compelled to earn their own living. Grandmother 
 and Grandfather Jones were religious people and their 
 children were so trained that they became religious also 
 in early life. My mother lost her health shortly after 
 her marriage, being attacked with pulmonary trouble.
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 MY BIRTH AND EARLY CHILDHOOD. 
 
 I was born on November 30th, 1841. As a result 
 of my mother's feeble health, my birth was premature, 
 and I was a very small specimen of humanity to begin 
 with. As my mother's health was so delicate that she 
 could not nurse me, artificial means of nourishment 
 were resorted to, and I had to use a bottle. Notwith- 
 standing these handicaps, I thrived and became a 
 strong, healthy child. I was born in a log cabin of 
 one room in Lordstown, Trumbull county, Ohio, about 
 one and one-half miles east and one mile south of the 
 center of the township. In the Western Reserve of 
 northeastern Ohio the townships are five miles square, 
 while in the remainder of the state they are six miles 
 square. In these townships the highways are so laid 
 off that they cross at the center of each township, and 
 in most cases there is a village at this point wherein 
 is situated the Post Office for the township. Modern 
 rural delivery has somewhat changed this, however. 
 The fact of having been born in a log cabin is no par- 
 ticular distinction, since more than one-half of the 
 inhabitants of the rural districts lived in log houses, 
 those living in houses of hewn logs constituting the 
 aristocracy. The cabin in which I was born was built 
 of logs with the bark on, covered with clapboards 
 held in place by weight poles. The loft of the cabin 
 was utilized as a guest chamber as well as a store house 
 for grain and fruits and garden herbs. The stars were 
 
 6
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 7 
 
 visible through the interstices of the roof on a clear 
 night and there was no need of extra provision for 
 ventilation. The hut in which I was born was still 
 standing when I last visited Ohio, more than sixty 
 years after my birth. It had long ceased to be a 
 human habitation, probably it had not been occupied 
 for more than fifty years. My mother died on March 
 1st, 1842, when I was three months and one day old. 
 She was a good woman according to her light, a 
 member of the Methodist Episcopal society. Her 
 funeral sermon was preached by a M. E. preacher by 
 the name of Ira Norris. I was informed many years 
 afterward, in 1869, when I was visiting in Ohio and 
 preaching in the neighborhood of my birth, that a re- 
 markable thing occurred at my mother's funeral, which 
 was well remembered by old people after the lapse of 
 twenty-eight years. In the prayer which the minister 
 offered at the funeral there was nothing unusual 
 noticed until he prayed for the infant that had been 
 left motherless, when there was a remarkable display 
 of divine power, or as some who were present ex- 
 pressed it, " heaven and earth seemed to come to- 
 gether." I feel that God has been answering that 
 prayer ever since. After the death of my mother I 
 was taken to live at my Grandfather Harshman's, 
 though I spent some of the time at my Grandfather 
 Jones', who now lived nearby. Notwithstanding the 
 general ignorance of sanitary rules, the microbes did 
 not get the advantage of me, and I throve on a diet 
 of cow's milk sucked out of an ordinary bottle through 
 a goosequill. I have been told that it was some trouble 
 to keep me supplied with bottles, for if one was al- 
 lowed to become empty while I was using it I would
 
 8 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 throw it to the floor, which necessitated a new one, 
 as carpets were not used in those days. After re- 
 maining a widower something over a year my father 
 married again. His second wife was the next younger 
 sister of his first wife, by name Catherine Jones. Of 
 my mother I, of course, have no recollection, and as 
 she died before the era of photography, I have never 
 seen any portrait of her. The only visual evidence I 
 have that she ever lived is her tombstone in the cem- 
 etery near the center of Lordstown. She was, I am 
 told, rather tall and slender, having a good form, with 
 blue eyes and light brown hair, and was quite fair to 
 look upon. She was neat and tasty in her dress, was 
 of good mental traits and powers, fairly educated, 
 and could sing well. My stepmother was well edu- 
 cated for those times, was above the average in intellect 
 and general information, sincerely religious, and took 
 unusual pains in my training. In fact, so good a 
 mother to me was she that I never should have sus- 
 pected that she was not my real mother, and I am 
 told that I was much distressed when first informed 
 by mischievous playmates that she was not my mother. 
 My father and she began housekeeping in another 
 log cabin about one-half mile east of the one in which 
 I was born. My father had no trade and no means, 
 and the wages of day laborers were quite low. He 
 was an expert with the ax and spent much time es- 
 pecially in the winter months in cutting cord wood 
 which was used to make charcoal required by the iron 
 furnaces in the towns of Mahoning valley, just be- 
 coming celebrated for its production of coal and iron. 
 In the summer he worked at farming. My first rec- 
 ollection is of this home when I could not have been
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 9 
 
 more than two years old. I remember myself as having 
 on a linsey woolsey dress going out into the chimney 
 corner at the side of the house. Just a glimpse and 
 that is all. The next recollection I have is of living 
 in another house to which we next moved, which was 
 on the farm settled by my great-grandfather, one- 
 half mile north of my birthplace. The mental picture 
 is of a bright winter's morning, the ground covered 
 with snow, and a little boy half dressed standing on 
 a porch on the west side of the house at the south 
 end of the porch and looking out toward the wood 
 pile where my father and grandfather were unloading 
 wood from a sled drawn by a team of mares, one black 
 called " Goalie," and the other a clay-bank color named 
 " Fox." Goalie was soon disposed of by my grand- 
 father, but Fox he kept until she died of old age. She 
 was a gentle beast, but unreasonably afraid of a 
 buffalo robe, at sight or smell of which she would cut 
 up didos. I was a bright, active child, and somewhat 
 precocious. I am told that as soon as I could walk 
 I would climb up on chairs and jump down, to the 
 alarm of my parents. While we lived at the place 
 last mentioned, I made my first visit to a school. It 
 was in a log schoolhouse and the seats were slabs with 
 pegs for legs, which were set in auger holes at the ends. 
 The slabs were turned flat side up. I could not have 
 been more than four years old at this time. I soon 
 tired of sitting on a hard bench with legs dangling 
 and became restless. The teacher, who was a man, 
 thinking to quiet me, threatened to put me in the stove, 
 but as my whole experience had been with truthful 
 people I was very much frightened, and the teacher 
 was rid of me permanently. About this time in the
 
 10 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 spring, after I was four years old, my father made 
 another change of habitation. As I have said, high- 
 ways running north and south and east and west 
 crossed at the center of the township. One and one- 
 half miles in each direction from this center were 
 roads ; those on the east and west sides running north 
 and south, and those on the north and south running 
 east and west, making a square three miles on each 
 side and cut into four equal parts by the roads crossing 
 at the center. So that each of these smaller squares 
 was one and one-half miles on each side. We had 
 lived on the east side of the square lying to the south- 
 east. We now removed to the west side of the same 
 square on the road running south from " the center " 
 as it was called. We here lived on a farm belonging 
 to my father's uncle, Daniel Harshman, whose wife, 
 who was a sister of my Grandmother Harshman, had 
 died some time previously. Here we lived several 
 years. During the succeeding winter my Grandmother 
 Jones, who was now a widow, lived with us and taught 
 me the German alphabet. I do not know when I 
 learned the English alphabet, but it was so early in 
 life that I have no recollection of it. The first I re- 
 member studying in school was words of two letters 
 in Webster's Elementary Spelling Book with green 
 pasteboard covers. These I could rattle off as fast as 
 I could talk. I began going to school before I was 
 five years old. I was timid and fearful and my young 
 companions, with the cruelty of childhood, did what 
 they could to make life miserable for me. Living be- 
 tween my father's residence and the schoolhouse, more 
 than half a mile distant, lived a man in a hewn log 
 house whose name was Henry Thorn, with a wife
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 11 
 
 named Polly. She had followed him from Virginia 
 and insisted on living with him. He was in the habit of 
 getting drunk whenever he went to town, and would 
 come home in fighting mood and drive Polly out until 
 he became sober, when she would return home. Polly 
 was of the opinion of the Irish woman that it was a 
 very poor man that was not better than none. I was 
 afraid of this man and my playmates encouraged my 
 fears so that I was in terror when passing his house. 
 After the first year, my mother's youngest sister, who 
 was six years older than I, came to live with us and 
 I had her company to and from school. I learned 
 very rapidly and was soon reading in the Second 
 Reader. I was even then ambitious to excel in every- 
 thing, and made much amusement for the family by 
 crying because the teacher, who was boarding with 
 us, could eat buckwheat cakes faster than I could. 
 From my earliest recollection I was deeply impressed 
 by religious subjects. My stepmother very carefully 
 taught me, and her instructions found fertile soil in 
 my mind. As a result of her labors, I have been all 
 my life afraid of sin. In school I heard much bad 
 language from my playfellows. One day when some- 
 thing displeased me I uttered an oath. I was im- 
 mediately struck with terror at what I had done and 
 at once ran all the way home to tell mother what I 
 had done, and asked her if she thought the Lord 
 would forgive me. Being assured that He would if 
 I would do so no more, I was consoled and returned 
 to school. I was particularly afraid of lying, and 
 never could tell a lie even in a joke. My veracity was 
 unquestioned among my associates. Up to this time 
 they had none but subscription schools in Ohio, but
 
 12 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 the free school system was adopted there soon after- 
 ward. English grammar was introduced into the 
 school I attended and my fancy was much struck by 
 the recitations I heard and I began to imitate the 
 parsing I heard. When I was seven years old I per- 
 suaded my parents to get me a book and I began 
 studying grammar. The text book was Samuel Kirk- 
 ham's English Grammar. While we lived on this 
 farm I met with a serious accident. My father had 
 taken a load of hay to Warren, the county seat, and 
 had taken me with him. I was about six years old. 
 On the way home on the empty wagon my father had 
 seated me behind him astride of the board running 
 lengthwise of the wagon. My father sat with both 
 feet on one side, and I became ambitious to sit as 
 father did. As I was changing my position we crossed 
 a small culvert and a young mare in the team jumped 
 across, giving the wagon a sudden jerk. I fell off 
 and the rear wheel passed over my left arm, dis- 
 locating my elbow and breaking the humerous about 
 halfway between the elbow and the shoulder. By the 
 time we reached home and a surgeon could be called 
 the arm was much swollen and I suffered intense pain 
 in the setting of the fractured bone. While living 
 here we were visited on a very hot day in July, with 
 the mercury 98 in the shade, the hottest day for 
 years, by an insane woman, Mrs. Mills by name. At 
 that time insane asylums were few in this country and 
 insane people, unless violent, were often allowed to 
 roam at large. This woman was in this habit. When 
 she visited us on this hot day she exhibited to my 
 stepmother six flannel skirts that she wore, giving 
 as her reason for so doing that she wished to keep
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 13 
 
 out the heat. As the temperature was blood heat 
 without, I suppose the skirts kept out as much heat 
 as they kept in. As I was afraid of her, I had crawled 
 under the bed, a common city of refuge for fright- 
 ened children in those days of single-room houses 
 and high-post bedsteads. She tried to frighten me 
 further by telling me that snakes might get me. House 
 snakes commonly infested log houses in their search 
 for mice ; they were harmless, however. 
 
 When I was in my eighth year my father made 
 another removal to a point two miles east of The 
 Center, still living in a log house. Here we remained 
 one year. During the winter I attended school in 
 a log school house one-half mile west of us at the 
 cross roads. It was taught by a young man named 
 Servetus Parke, a good teacher. I read McGuffy's 
 Fourth Reader in a class of young men and young 
 women. I was also in the grammar class with them. 
 I had not yet begun arithmetic. I remember when 
 we were reading that extract from Philip's memor- 
 able oration on Napoleon Bonaparte, beginning with 
 " He is fallen ; we may now pause before that splendid 
 prodigy," etc., I, in reading my verse in turn came 
 to the phrase " the titular dignitaries of a chess board." 
 Of course I had no idea what that meant, nor, I 
 suspect, had my older classmates much more idea, 
 when one of them suggested that the word was pro- 
 nounced " cheese board," and I read it that way, much 
 to the merriment of the class. I was always unsus- 
 pecting and easily imposed upon. That winter when 
 I was eight years old, I " spelled down " the school 
 in spelling school. That winter I read a copy of 
 Bunyan's Pilgrim Progress all to pieces and became
 
 14 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 as familiar with the road to the celestial city as with 
 the road to school. Obviously, I had no conception 
 of the spiritual meaning of the book. It was to me 
 a tale of giants and hobgoblins and of the adventures 
 of quaint people. During the summer months it 
 was one of my chores to drive our cow to and from 
 pasture. One evening as I walked behind her, I 
 poked her with a stick I carried and she. promptly 
 kicked me. On the impulse of the moment I used 
 some profane word. I did not run to tell mother 
 this time, but I felt profoundly ashamed and cha- 
 grined. This was the second and last time I ever 
 used a profane word. During the following winter 
 I met with another serious accident. There was a 
 deep snow on the ground and father had gone to his 
 father's place to make himself a sled. Mother was 
 washing clothes and sent me with a small tin bucket 
 to a little stream nearby to get her some water. There 
 were some young horses in the field through which 
 this stream ran, and they, probably thinking I had 
 salt in the bucket, followed me. I turned to drive 
 them back when one of them, a three-year-old mare, 
 kicked me in the face and knocked me down. A 
 neighbor passing saw me getting up and falling down 
 in the snow and thought I was playing. My step- 
 mother, coming to see what kept me so long, saw me 
 coming toward the house covered with blood and 
 was much frightened. She found on examination that 
 my nose was split and the left upper lip cut through 
 to the teeth. My father was sent for and a physician. 
 It was some time before I regained entire conscious- 
 ness. I carry the scar of that kick to this day. The 
 next spring my father removed to Preston's Corners,
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 15 
 
 a cross roads one and one-half miles south of the 
 " Center " and near the schoolhouse where I first 
 attended school, where he lived one year. This was 
 in the spring of 1850. Few things worth noting oc- 
 curred to me during the year. Our house was a frame 
 house, the first of the kind I had ever lived in, con- 
 taining two rooms. I had a laughable experience 
 during the summer. I still had the task of driving 
 the cow to and from pasture. One evening I con- 
 ceived the idea of riding the cow. She was very 
 gentle and I thought she would not object. I ran 
 ahead and mounted a stump beside the path and when 
 the cow got opposite I leaped astride her back. The 
 effect was instantaneous. The conduct of the cow 
 surprised me as much as I surprised her. As I had 
 not been trained for a circus performer I was soon 
 unseated. The cow was satisfied and so was I. 
 During this summer my father, one morning early, 
 hitched up his mare " Elder," so called because he 
 got her from a Methodist presiding Elder, put into 
 the buggy his family, consisting of his wife and five 
 children and drove by sundown to a point on the 
 Ohio river near where East Liverpool now stands. 
 There was already a village there and potteries making 
 coarse ware. The distance travelled that day was 
 about sixty miles. We went to visit a brother-in-law 
 of my father, who had married my mother's oldest 
 sister. This trip was a great treat to us children, 
 who had never before been more than a short distance 
 from home. The beautiful Ohio river ran in sight 
 of the house in which my uncle lived. Here I saw 
 a steamboat for the first time. The river was low, 
 but still it seemed immense to me. I was taken
 
 16 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 across it in a skiff into what is now West Virginia. 
 I well remember the outward trip but have no re- 
 membrance of the return trip. In October my father 
 made a trip into Vienna township to procure cider 
 and apples out of which to make apple butter. This 
 was before the days of hermetically sealed cans to 
 preserve fruit in. To preserve fruit, it was either 
 dried, preserved in sugar or made into jam or butter. 
 My father each year would procure two or three 
 barrels of cider and apples to thicken the syrup. The 
 cider was boiled down one-half or more and the pre- 
 pared apples which had been pared, quartered and 
 cored, were put into it and boiled and stirred until 
 the apples were cooked and dissolved. The morning 
 I mentioned was cool and frosty and I had difficulty 
 in keeping warm while riding and ran after the wagon 
 part of the time. When we reached the cider press, 
 I was much interested in the process of making cider, 
 which was somewhat primitive. Instead of burlap 
 sheets to contain the cheeses they used rye straw. It 
 was a screw press manipulated with lever by hand 
 power. I shivered as I saw men with bare hands and 
 arms working with the cold pomace while I was 
 uncomfortably cold standing by. I went into the 
 dwelling which stood near to warm myself, where I 
 saw an old lady sitting knitting while a pot over the 
 fireplace sent forth the odor of boiling pumpkin, 
 which I never could endure. It was difficult to choose 
 between the cold without and the smell within. I 
 helped my father pick the apples under the trees in 
 the orchard and we reached home with our booty 
 about dark. 
 
 The next spring when I was in my tenth year we
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 1? 
 
 removed to the center of Lordstown, a small village 
 at the center of the township. We lived on the out- 
 skirts of the village or hamlet in an old farm house 
 owned by Esquire Leonard Woodard, the rich man 
 of the township. The farm had formerly been owned 
 by a man by the name of Stitle and the house was 
 called the Stitle house. It was a two-story hewn-log 
 house having three rooms in each story besides an 
 attic. My father began work in a sawmill nearby 
 where he learned the engineer's trade and afterwards 
 the sawyer's trade also. He continued in this busi- 
 ness for five years, part of the time as an employee, 
 and part of the time as a part-owner in the business. 
 The principal varieties of lumber sawed was various 
 kinds of oak and yellow poplar which was quite plen- 
 tiful in that section and of large size. My stepmother 
 was fearful of the bursting of the boiler and several 
 times when a gasket would be blown out of the steam- 
 pipe I have seen her frightened fearfully. The whole 
 mill and logyard would be enveloped in steam, and 
 the hissing noise of escaping steam was proof enough 
 that the boiler was intact, but she could never take 
 these things into consideration in her alarm. She 
 would run to the mill as fast as she could and would 
 not be satisfied until she saw father safe. 
 
 I have spoken of my unusual conscientiousness, and 
 some may get from the account the false impression 
 that I was something of an effeminate mamma's dar- 
 ling sort of boy. On the contrary, I was a normal boy, 
 loving fun and sport and excelling in out-of-door 
 games and athletic exercises. Few of my age could 
 surpass me in running, jumping or wrestling. I was 
 strong and active, large of my age, and always from
 
 18 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 childhood appearing older than I was, both mentally 
 and physically. I was thoughtless and heedless in 
 play, not seeing danger until I was into it. In school 
 I was studious and generally well behaved but some- 
 times getting into mischief and meeting with reproof 
 or punishment. But there was one thing I would not 
 do. I would not fight, thinking it not only sinful but 
 disgraceful. I had something of the feeling toward 
 fighting that the mother expressed when she told her 
 daughter that a certain act was not only wrong, but 
 worse than that it was vulgar. So, notwithstanding 
 my quick temper and the knowledge that I was 
 stronger than most of my playmates, I never had a 
 fight. The next year after our removal to the 
 " center," I think it was, a select school was opened 
 at that place and my parents, being ambitious for my 
 advancement, sent me to it. It opened in the Meth- 
 odist meeting house for the spring term but when the 
 town hall was completed it was removed to it. I 
 attended two terms of select school that summer and 
 the common school the next winter, and the next year 
 the same. Being of a nervous temperament, this 
 began to tell upon me, and I developed a nervous 
 disease resembling hypochondria, and my parents 
 were forced to take me from school for a while. I 
 soon recovered, however, and went back to school 
 again. The teacher of this select school was a young 
 man named Joseph E. King. He taught the school 
 several successive terms and was a very successful 
 teacher. He made a greater impression upon the 
 character of his pupils than any other teacher I ever 
 knew. He afterwards became a minister of the gospel 
 among the people calling themselves Disciples of
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 19 
 
 Christ, and I never saw him after he left the school. 
 He was quick tempered and severe in his discipline, 
 but was thoroughly liked and respected by his pupils, 
 and did much toward making ladies an4 gentlemen of 
 them. Not long after we removed to the Stitle house, 
 my father was elected township clerk, an office which 
 he held several successive terms until he was elected 
 Justice of the Peace, which office he held for twenty- 
 five years. The township clerk was also clerk of the 
 board of education, which controlled the affairs of 
 the public schools of the township. About this time 
 a law was passed by the legislature establishing a 
 public school library. The books, for our township 
 were sent to, and left with, the township clerk as 
 custodian, where they remained for several months 
 until they were distributed to the several school dis- 
 tricts. I had always suffered from a dearth of reading 
 matter, being an insatiable reader. Books and news- 
 papers and periodicals were much scarcer then than 
 now and my parents were not able to procure many of 
 them. I literally reveled in literature that winter. 
 When I was about twelve years old I had an attack 
 of pleurisy and was quite sick. The doctor gave me 
 pretty large doses of quinine which affected my brain 
 and produced that sense of increased size, which it 
 often does. I distinctly remember a dream that per- 
 sisted with me. I dreamed that I was ploughing with 
 a yoke of oxen and my field was the map of the 
 United States and that was too small a field for me 
 as the oxen insisted on" running into the Atlantic 
 ocean on one side and the Pacific on the other side, 
 which put me in a great strain. In the winter of, 
 1855-56 we had a deep snow which fell during the
 
 20 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS, 
 
 holidays and lay on the ground until spring. A crust 
 formed over the top of it which would bear up the 
 children and their sleds, affording them great sport. 
 The sleighing was excellent and the Methodist people 
 particularly utilized it in the holding of numerous 
 revival meetings with unusual success. A series of 
 meetings was held at the " Center " in the M. E. 
 house there, and during its progress I professed con- 
 version and united with the Methodist society on 
 probation. The preacher in charge on our circuit was 
 the Rev. Mr. Tagg, a little Englishman, but an able 
 preacher who nightly invited and urged sinners to 
 come to the " halter " for prayers. They took him 
 at what he meant and not at what he said, and went. 
 I had been religious all my life and I experienced no 
 particular change in my experience, somewhat to my 
 disappointment, but I had my mind made up to serve 
 the Lord and so went along doing the best I knew. 
 Notwithstanding the religious excitement of the time 
 the spiritual condition of the people was quite low. 
 My teacher that winter was W. H. Wilson, who 
 afterwards became a Methodist travelling preacher 
 and who was an earnest spiritual man. There was 
 a Disciple church in our neighborhood and contention 
 between them and the Methodists ran quite high. 
 The Disciples were much given to religious disputa- 
 tion, thinking that " without controversy, great is the 
 mystery of godliness " and they always stood ready 
 to furnish the " controversy." Young as I was, I 
 was forced to defend my faith against their attacks, 
 and I acquired a prejudice against them in conse- 
 quence that time has not wholly removed. I never 
 could resist the force of argument and I felt com-
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 21 
 
 pelled to answer what appeared to be argument or 
 accept it. This put me to the study of the scriptures 
 and fostered a love of theology that has only in- 
 creased with the years. I procured somewhere 
 Ralston's Elements of Divinity, published by the 
 Southern Methodist Publishing House and read it 
 with interest. That was a little remarkable for a 
 fourteen year old boy. One result of my religious 
 controversies was that I learned to put a low estimate 
 upon the importance and value of carnal ordinances.
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 MY FIRST EXPERIENCES AS A 
 SCHOOL TEACHER. 
 
 THE times preceding the Civil War during the 50's 
 were hard on the laboring classes. Manufacturing 
 was in its infancy in this country, wages were low, 
 and the necessaries of life comparatively high. The 
 finances of the country were in confusion, wild cat 
 banks were issuing currency which was often worth- 
 less, and there was no monetary stability. My father 
 was an industrious, hard working man, but he found 
 it difficult to support his large family of a wife and 
 seven children. People lived much poorer and more 
 economically than in the present time. I dressed 
 as well as the majority and I suppose that my clothes 
 for a year did not cost more than fifteen dollars, 
 and such clothes would cost less than that now. I 
 had one pair of shoes or boots for the winter and 
 went barefoot in the summer. Scarcely anyone among 
 the common people wore underclothes, and overcoats 
 were scarce. I taught school two years before I owned 
 an overcoat. Because of this pressure for the means 
 of subsistence, my father was anxious that I, the 
 oldest son, should begin to assist in the support of 
 the family as soon as possible. He had been sending 
 me to school for several years at considerable ex- 
 pense and he was anxious for some returns. So in 
 the fall of 1856, when I was nearing my fifteenth year, 
 he decided to procure a school for me the following 
 
 22
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 23 
 
 winter. I was large of my age and looked as old 
 as many boys of eighteen. I was well qualified so far 
 as education was concerned, having completed the 
 common branches along with physiology, astronomy, 
 natural philosophy, algebra, geometry, and had begun 
 Latin and Greek. So a school was procured for me 
 in an adjoining township about three miles from 
 home. I was to teach four months at eighteen dollars 
 per month and board round among the pupils. This 
 boarding round was the general custom then. Of 
 course I was too young to teach school and the mental 
 tortures I endured the first two winters I taught 
 brought on a weakness of the pneumogastric nerve 
 from which I have suffered all the remainder of my 
 life. The nervous dyspepsia of my later years is 
 distinctly traceable to this period of my life. I got 
 through my first school without trouble and without 
 criticism, and gave my father all the money I had 
 earned. But I was not satisfied with my success. I 
 had not come nearly up to my ideal, and I could not 
 boast of any success. In the spring I hired to work 
 for Esquire Woodard on his farm for three months 
 from the first of April. I endeavored to be a faithful 
 farm hand, but I fear that I was not very profitable, 
 though the " squire " bore with me patiently. I could 
 not keep my mind on my work. I had become ac- 
 customed to day-dreaming when alone, and I would 
 often find myself standing motionless totally oblivious 
 of all going on about me, and would feel, when aroused, 
 as if I had been asleep. In a few years this trouble 
 wore off. On the morning of the tenth of June, 1857, 
 we had a killing frost which killed all the wheat in 
 Northeastern Ohio. The farmers were much excited,
 
 24 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 fearing a famine. A few years previously wheat had 
 been so scarce and costly that the people had lived on 
 corn bread for a year. This was quite disagreeable to 
 me as I could not like corn bread. The frost was not 
 so disastrous as the people had feared as it was con- 
 fined to a small section of the country, and those 
 who rushed in and bought a year's supply of flour 
 at an exorbitant price soon had reason to regret 
 their hasty action as the price soon fell to but little 
 above what it was before the frost. The poor people 
 who had no money to invest in flour were saved 
 the loss that fell upon their more wealthy neighbors. 
 I attended school in the fall and took a school in a 
 district in our own township adjoining the one I 
 taught in the year before. About this time a young 
 man named Samuel F. DeFord, a graduate of Mt. 
 Union college, came to our place to teach the select 
 school. He was a good teacher and a good business 
 man. He built a school building and established a 
 small academy, married and settled down among us. 
 I attended this academy one term each year until I 
 was of age. From the time of the establishment of 
 the select school, a lyceum or literary society had been 
 maintained which did much to train the young people 
 in public speaking. At first the older people took 
 part in the exercises, which were always public, es- 
 pecially in the debates in which many interesting 
 subjects were discussed, such as: "Resolved that 
 the Indian has more reason to complain of his treat- 
 ment by the white man than the negro has," " Re- 
 solved that man is more influenced by the hope of 
 reward than the fear of punishment, etc." These 
 are questions that have two sides to them and may
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 25 
 
 be discussed indefinitely and everlastingly without 
 reaching any conclusion. Afterwards the literary 
 society was entirely controlled by the students of 
 the academy. It met once a week the year round, on 
 Friday nights. Once a year, in the fall, we would 
 have special exercises which we called a literary ex- 
 hibition. On such occasions it was difficult to find a 
 room large enough to contain the audiences. There 
 would be essays, generally by the ladies; a paper or 
 periodical containing a variety of articles, original 
 orations, debates, and a drama. I usually had a 
 part as an orator or a debater. I once had a part 
 in a drama, but I felt that I was a failure there. 
 I have little power of imitation. The school sent 
 out a large number of teachers, more in number than 
 were sent out by any other township in the county. 
 Of these, the Harshmans furnished their share. My 
 grandfather had three children and twenty to twenty- 
 five grandchildren who taught school. 
 
 I had fair success in teaching a four-months' school 
 in the winter of 1857-58, boarding round as before, 
 but at increased wages, viz., twenty-four dollars per 
 month. I cannot recall what I worked at that spring. 
 Every summer I assisted in harvesting and haying. 
 Up to this time the grain had been cut with cradles; 
 the use of sickles was before my time. But the grain 
 harvest was a short one as so little grain was raised 
 in that part of the country except for home con- 
 sumption. But the Western Reserve of Ohio was 
 a great country for the production of butter and 
 cheese, and a great amount of hay was secured for 
 winter feed. I early learned to swing a scythe, for 
 mowing machines were just now beginning to come
 
 26 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 into use and few yet had them. I well remember 
 the first one I saw in use. It was owned by " Squire " 
 Woodard, who bought the first one in the township. 
 It was an awkward implement with one large drive- 
 wheel. I became quite expert at mowing with the 
 scythe, and few could excel me as a hay pitcher. 
 My father was an excellent hand at mowing grass and 
 cradling grain, and could pitch a load of hay off a 
 wagon in less time and with less apparent effort than 
 any other man I ever saw do the work. The farmers, 
 many of them, kept sheep and the shearing of them 
 in May and June was quite an industry. My father 
 and two or three of his brothers were expert sheep 
 shearers and engaged in that employment each year. 
 I also learned the business, but did not follow it 
 long enough to become very good at it. It was hard, 
 straining work and quite ill smelling and filthy. I 
 again attended the academy in the fall, and the 
 following winter taught a school north of Lordstown 
 in Warren township. I got along quite pleasantly 
 with this school and boarded around as before. In 
 the spring I was suffering from indigestion, about 
 the first I had noticed of this trouble which has af- 
 flicted me at times during the remainder of my life. 
 The symptoms were a sudden nausea and vomiting 
 shortly after eating. At other times I suffered from 
 " water brash " or eructation of sour fluid from my 
 stomach. About this time, or a little previously, the 
 discovery of petroleum, or rock oil, was made in 
 western Pennsylvania at Titusville and Oil City. 
 Great excitement was produced by these discoveries 
 and as we were not far from those places, not more 
 than one hundred miles probably, there were many 
 efforts made to find oil in our county. I remember
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 27 
 
 one man in particular in our township by the name 
 of Peter Shively. He owned a farm through which 
 a creek flowed which had been dammed to provide 
 power for a saw mill. I often caught sun-fish in 
 his mill pond. He bored for oil and was confident 
 that he was about to become a rich man. However, 
 his prospects failed, he got in debt and lost his farm, 
 and in his old age became insane and killed his wife 
 with a shot-gun or rifle. In the township of Mecca 
 in our county, oil was found in paying quantities, 
 however. Dr. W. H. Brown of our township became 
 interested, financially, in an oil well in Mecca and 
 wanted it tested. As my father was an engineer, he. 
 employed him to go to that place and run the engine 
 to pump the well to ascertain how much oil it would 
 produce. My father took the job, and, as they wished 
 the pump to go continuously, day and night, he took 
 me with him to run it half the time. I was no 
 engineer but I could fire, and I took the shift from 
 noon until midnight and my father the one from 
 midnight until noon. Water and oil were pumped up 
 together into a huge wooden tank containing tens of 
 thousands of barrels. The wells were so numerous 
 that all the wells of water in the vicinity were im- 
 pregnated with the oil and the water was scarcely 
 fit to drink. In the great tank what oil there was 
 floated on top of the water. We got our drinking 
 water by boring a small hole in the side of the tank 
 and drawing the water out by the cupfuls. It was 
 full of floating particles of oil and tasted abominably, 
 but we soon became accustomed to the taste. The 
 oil healed my stomach and cured my dyspepsia for 
 the time being. The oil well proved to be a failure 
 and our job was soon at an end.
 
 .CHAPTER IV. 
 
 A NEW RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. 
 
 In the summer of this year, 1859, I attended my 
 first camp-meeting. It was held by the Methodists 
 in the southeastern part of Lordstown, not far from 
 the residence of my Grandfather Harshman. I was 
 then in my eighteenth year and had already been 
 playing the man for three years. The meeting was 
 quite largely attended and my father tented or camped 
 on the camp ground. The preacher in charge of our 
 circuit was what the Methodists called a holiness man. 
 His name was Reeves. In his sermons he called the 
 attention of the membership to the necessity of holi- 
 ness of heart to fit one for heaven. He taught the Wes- 
 leyan theory of two distinct works of grace, though 
 he said but little on those points, but insisted on the 
 need of holiness. From what I can remember of 
 him, I think it was a theory rather than an experience. 
 His teaching troubled me and at the same time con- 
 fused me. 
 
 He would seem to recognize all who professed con- 
 versions as Christians, on the road to heaven, and 
 that would give me assurance, then he would quote 
 that without holiness no man could see the Lord, and 
 I knew he considered us to be without holiness, and 
 that would alarm me. I could not reconcile the two 
 teachings and was left in a quandary. It seemed 
 
 28
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 29 
 
 inconsistent to me that a man could be a child of 
 God and still not fit for heaven. It yet looks that 
 way to me. The wave of holiness that afterwards 
 swept over the country was then just beginning to 
 rise. There were several holiness preachers at this 
 camp-meeting, among them W. H. Wilson, whom I 
 have before mentioned, and one by the name of 
 Chesboro. They had special services for those wishing 
 to seek sanctification. I began to feel as though I 
 had no religion worth speaking of, which was no 
 doubt the truth, though I was a good and acceptable 
 member of the Methodist Society. Toward the last 
 of the meeting one night an invitation was given for 
 all those who wished to seek sanctification to retire 
 to the Warren tent after the close of the public ex- 
 ercises, and I went in. I had no clear idea what it 
 was I needed, or what its practical effect would be. I 
 had had no definite teachings on the subject. I under- 
 stood it was a higher or deeper work of divine grace 
 that I needed, and I was conscious that I was not 
 right. I went into the tent and knelt down with the 
 others. I was tempted that if I became holy I would 
 not need to live here any longer and that it would be 
 signing my death warrant. Then I feared that the 
 Lord might send me as a missionary to foreign lands 
 and I did not want to go. I debated these matters 
 in my mind and had arrived at the conclusion that 
 I would take the consequences when a preacher, Bro. 
 Chesboro, said to me, " Do you now give up all for 
 Christ?" I replied, "I do." At that moment I lost 
 consciousness of my surroundings, but I do not know 
 how long I remained in this condition, nor what 1 
 did. My father was kneeling by me but I never
 
 30 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 thought to ask him what occurred. When I came to 
 myself I was on my feet laughing and praising God. 
 This was astonishing to me as heretofore any noisy 
 religious demonstrations were offensive to me, possibly 
 because it was not the result of the Spirit's influence, 
 when I had heard it. This new experience made a 
 great change in my religious life. I found a boldness 
 of speech which I had not known before and a religious 
 joy and transport which was unusual. I made no claim 
 to any higher experience, and called the work that 
 had been done for me by no definite name. But I 
 found myself greatly drawn out toward God and real- 
 ized a tenderness of conscience unknown previously. 
 It seemed I could not go into a meeting without 
 feeling the presence of God, and when called upon to 
 pray I seemed always to have immediate access to 
 God. My grandfather died during the last day of 
 the camp-meeting and I attended his funeral the day 
 after it closed. I believed him a good man who had 
 been a great sufferer, and I had trouble to keep from 
 praising God aloud at his funeral. My sister, or 
 half-sister rather, next to me in age, and a cousin 
 about her age became also quite spiritual at this camp- 
 meeting and we had good times together. The so- 
 ciety to which we belonged was quite dead and formal 
 in its devotions, but we three would have rejoicing 
 times at the prayer meetings. This wonderful mani- 
 festation of God to my soul continued to quite an 
 extent for more than three years. It gave me quite 
 a religious reputation, though I was not conscious 
 of much of it and did not know what people said or 
 thought of me. My friends were wise enough not 
 to tell me at the time but have told me since. I
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 31 
 
 seemed to have unusual power in prayer, and have 
 since been told that some remarked that they would 
 rather hear my prayer than the preacher's sermon. 
 Although I was not yet eighteen years old, the circuit 
 preacher proposed to me that fall to take license to' 
 exhort. I begged to be excused as I thought the 
 responsibility of such an office more than I was able 
 to sustain at that time. I had expected from the 
 beginning of my public profession of religion to be- 
 come a preacher of the Gospel as I felt called to that 
 work by the Lord. But I did not wish to begin so 
 young. However, I feared to refuse the work thrust 
 upon me lest I might displease God, so as the preacher 
 insisted, I accepted the office of exhorter from the 
 next quarterly conference, and I soon entered upon 
 the work. An exhorter among the Methodists is not 
 expected to preach, but to talk in a more desultory 
 way, though some exhorters could take a text. I 
 never could talk at random or without something to 
 talk about; so I would take a subject in my mind 
 but would not announce it. I was surprised to find 
 that I could talk half an hour on one topic. I did 
 not exercise very often, but whenever called upon. 
 I was not a phenomenon, and got no reputation as a 
 boy orator. The peculiar experience which I ob- 
 tained at the camp-meeting seemed to leave me as 
 suddenly as it came, and I could find no reason why. 
 The Lord ceased to manifest Himself to my soul as 
 He had been doing and I felt deserted, and shut off. 
 I struggled for a while to regain the experience I 
 had so long enjoyed, and failing, I gave the matter 
 up in despair of success. I do not mean that I gave 
 up serving God, but that I despaired of attaining
 
 32 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 again to that blessed sense of the nearness of God 
 which I had enjoyed for so long a time. I would have 
 occasional drawings but nothing like what I had real- 
 ized before. I do not now think that I was really 
 born of God or that I had the real baptism of the 
 Spirit; I lacked the evidence of this experience. But 
 the Lord was wonderfully near me to draw me 
 towards Himself, and to encourage me in my ig- 
 norance and lack of proper instruction. When I 
 became contented to rest in these manifestations, and 
 to be satisfied with these gifts without the Giver, He 
 withdrew them, and I felt myself bereft and discon- 
 solate, not understanding the Lord's dealings. But 
 the remembrance of these enjoyments remained with 
 me, and proved to be a safeguard to me afterwards 
 when I was in danger of dragging my anchor and 
 drifting with the tide. God's ways are mysterious, 
 but far above our thoughts. However, I have antici- 
 pated my story in order to give the whole of this 
 peculiar religious experience.
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 I CONTINUE TEACHING. 
 
 I again attended school at the Academy at Lords- 
 town in the fall and engaged to teach during the 
 winter term in Weathersfield township, to the east of 
 Lordstown and near to the village of Girard, and 
 about four miles from Youngstown. The school was 
 near some coal mines and the most of the pupils 
 were the children of Welsh coal miners: principally 
 Davises and Evanses and Joneses. I did not board 
 round, however, which would have been insufferable, 
 but boarded with an old gentleman by the name of 
 Rinear, who lived near the schoolhouse. He was 
 a sort of local preacher who had formerly lived in 
 Lordstown, until his wife died. He then married 
 a Widow Wilson who owned the house where they 
 lived. I have been told that I never preach the same 
 sermon twice from the same text. Brother Rinear 
 was different. He always preached the same sermon 
 whatever his text might be. But though his talent 
 was small he had been useful. My Grandfather and 
 Grandmother Harshman had professed conversion 
 under his labors, and though past middle age, con- 
 tinued faithful to the end. At the time I went to 
 board with him he had suffered a stroke of paralysis 
 and was feeble in mind and body, but he partially 
 recovered his health. The school here was altogether 
 too large for one teacher. I had one hundred and 
 thirty-one names on the roll and thirty-seven in the 
 
 33
 
 34 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 alphabet class. If all the pupils had attended school 
 on the same day there would not have been room for 
 them all in the schoolhouse, but the average attendance 
 , was not good, amounting, however, to above eighty. 
 It was a heavy task for an eighteen-year-old boy to 
 teach and manage such a school. These children, 
 however, when they understood they had a master 
 were more submissive than native Americans, and i 
 had no trouble with them. A Miss Powers had taught 
 the school for several preceding terms and had 
 trained the children to habits of neatness and clean- 
 liness which had greatly improved them. I had good 
 success in this school and got through the term without 
 trouble of any kind. I attended church at Girard 
 and was sometimes called upon to speak in public. 
 As I was but eight miles from home I went home 
 every two weeks. I closed school in the spring with 
 my health somewhat impaired and started in to at- 
 tend a spring term at the Academy. However, after 
 a few weeks I was taken sick and my disease proved 
 to be typhoid fever. When this disease first made 
 its appearance in northeastern Ohio a few years 
 previously the physicians did not know how to treat 
 it, and using heroic treatment they lost most of their 
 patients. But by this time they had learned better 
 and gave but little medicine. Mine was a case of 
 " walking typhoid " ; I did not lose my strength so 
 far that I could not rise from my bed and walk across 
 the floor. I suffered little pain and did not have a 
 high degree of fever, yet the disease produced many 
 ravages in other ways. I became very much ema- 
 ciated, and my nerves were so weakened that I could 
 scarcely endure for persons to walk across the floor.
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 35 
 
 My trouble was also complicated by an abscess on 
 my right liver, and an incision had to be made in 
 my side to allow the pus to escape. I came near 
 dying, though I had no idea of doing so, I did not 
 feel sick enough ; but in such cases the patient is 
 sometimes able to walk about until death comes. I 
 was sick for six weeks and it was much longer before 
 my normal strength returned. I was very careful 
 during my convalescence not to eat any forbidden 
 thing, but by the time I was allowed to eat anything 
 I wished my appetite was almost unappeasable. I 
 could eat things with a relish that I could not tolerate 
 before my sickness ; among these things being codfish, 
 which I detested up to this time, but have liked ever 
 since. It was quite a while before I recovered the 
 use of my legs, that part of them below the knees 
 seeming to be like wooden blocks. My father had a 
 young mare which he called Flora Temple, and my 
 brother about four years younger than I, wished to 
 break her to drive single. He procured a cart, but 
 my father would not trust him with the mare unless 
 I would go with him. I could not walk far, so he 
 was to walk and drive and let me ride. But the 
 mare went so quietly that he thought he might ride 
 too, and got onto the cart. When we got about one 
 and a half miles from home the colt stopped under 
 the shade of a tree and my brother, wishing her to go 
 on, slapped her with the lines. She reared up and 
 turned so that, as she came down, one of the shafts 
 struck her on the hip and she started to run. My 
 brother rolled off behind and let her go. I had to 
 jump, and fell flat when I hit the ground. The colt 
 ran a short distance and struck the fence with the
 
 36 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 cart and broke both traces. So my brother took the 
 harness to a shoemaker nearby to get it repaired and 
 I got home the best way I could by easy stages. By 
 harvest time I had so far recovered from my illness 
 that I was able to go to work. The abscess in my 
 side had contracted the muscles in my right side, 
 causing quite a stoop for a while, and my right shoulder 
 has continued through life a little lower than the other. 
 In the fall I attended another term at the Academy 
 and engaged a school for the winter in the south part 
 of the district in which I had taught the winter pre- 
 viously, the district having been divided. I boarded 
 with the family of Joseph Wilson, a son of the old 
 lady who had boarded me the winter before. I was 
 employed to teach the spring term of the same school, 
 and I boarded with the family of Joseph Kincaid, a 
 well-to-do farmer and the owner of coal lands, and 
 a good Methodist. I remember nothing of special 
 interest occurring that summer except the political ex- 
 citement. The summer before was that of the year 
 of 1860. The Southern Democrats nominated J. C. 
 Breckenridge, the Northern Democrats, Stephen A. 
 Douglas, and the Republicans Abraham Lincoln, for 
 president. My people were, nearly all of them, Demo- 
 crats, but they were anti-slavery Democrats and con- 
 sequently held with Douglas and his " squatter sover- 
 eignity." The campaign was very exciting and party 
 feeling ran high. There was also another candidate 
 for president, John Bell of Tennessee, who was called 
 the Union candidate, but his race did not cut much 
 figure. The Republicans organized " wide awake " 
 clubs and equipped them with coal-oil torches, and 
 these clubs paraded at night, making a fine display.
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 37 
 
 Few people anticipated the awful storm that was 
 approaching. Lincoln was elected and trouble began 
 brewing. For the winter of 1861-62 I engaged a school 
 to the west of the district in which I had taught the 
 two previous winters, and near the town of Niles, 
 the birthplace of Wm. McKinley. I had the poorest 
 success in this school of any I had yet taught. The 
 teacher the year before was a violinist, and had en- 
 couraged the children to dance during recess and noon- 
 spell, and thus gained their good will. I was an al- 
 together different style of man, religious and an ex- 
 horter among the Methodists, and the older students, 
 who were some of them rough and wild, and several 
 of them older than I was, conceived a dislike for me, 
 as I could not sympathize with them in their sports. 
 And while they did not dare openly to defy my au- 
 thority, they conspired to make me all the trouble 
 they could. This discouraged me, and though the 
 school authorities found no open fault with me, I 
 felt that I was not accomplishing what I ought in the 
 school, and at the end of three months I resigned as 
 teacher. The term was for four months. The previous 
 spring, that of 1861, the war had begun. Fort Sumter 
 had been fired on and President Lincoln had called 
 for 75,000 troops to put down the rebellion. These 
 were soon supplied but it was soon apparent that more 
 troops would be needed. The Democrats were gen- 
 erally opposed to the war, thinking that the contro- 
 versies between the states could be settled without 
 war. No doubt if the majority of the people both in 
 the North and the South could have had their way, 
 the differences could have been adjusted. But the 
 ambitious leaders on both sides were not favorable
 
 38 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 to any compromise. The Democrats, no doubt, as a 
 rule were as loyal and patriotic as the Republicans, 
 and many of their young men went into the army; 
 but they became embittered by party prejudice against 
 the other party who were in power and responsible 
 for the conduct of affairs. A very small proportion 
 of the Democrats really favored the cause of the se- 
 ceded states or sympathized with either rebellion or 
 slavery, but they allowed themselves to be put in a 
 false position. After it was evident to unprejudiced 
 persons that the conflict, having begun, whether being 
 inevitable in its inception or not, there could be no 
 peace except by the defeat of one side or the other, the 
 Democrats still persisted in opposing the prosecution 
 of the war and throwing obstacles in the way of the 
 government, thus giving aid and comfort to the enemy. 
 This was the result of blind partisanship and not of 
 treasonable feelings toward the government of the 
 United States. A bitter price has that party paid for 
 its mistake. I was old enough to enlist but I did not 
 do so. I had no taste for war and bloodshed, and but 
 little love of adventure, and the prejudices of my edu- 
 cation were all against war. Nothing but a strong 
 sense of duty could have induced me to go to war. 
 I dreaded camp life almost as much as I did fighting; 
 it seemed to me that it would be intolerable. Com- 
 panies of home guards were organized and I joined 
 one of these and did some drilling. In the summer 
 of 1862 President Lincoln called for 200,000 men to 
 serve for one year, and as enlistments were slow, 
 he ordered a draft to fill up the quota. I escaped 
 being drafted, but my father, who was yet subject to 
 military duty, was drafted. He had a large family
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 39 
 
 dependent upon him for support, and it did not seem 
 as though he could be spared. I offered to go in his 
 place, but he would not consent to it. He was a 'poor 
 man and money was scarce, but he went into camp at 
 Cleveland, Ohio, and in a short time he hired an 
 alien as a substitute who enlisted for three years. The 
 feeling of antagonism between the two political parties 
 deepened into animosity, so that social ties were sev- 
 ered and neighbors became enemies. The young 
 people of the two parties scarcely associated, and the 
 separation extended into the schools and the churches. 
 The children of Democrats and Republicans could 
 scarcely sit peaceably together in the same school 
 house, and their parents could scarcely worship to- 
 gether in the same meeting-house. Each party believed 
 the members of the other party to be unprincipled 
 scoundrels. It is true that not all became such intense 
 partisans, but the majority did ; such is human nature. 
 This is not to be wondered at when we remember that 
 such a wise and usually so just a man as Dr. Samuel 
 Johnson could not believe a man could be a Whig 
 without being a scoundrel. People were under an 
 intense strain ; every few days news of some more 
 or less severe battle would be heralded, with hundreds 
 or thousands of killed and wounded. Most people 
 had some relatives in the army at some time during 
 the struggle. The sufferings of those at home were 
 almost as great as of those in the field. I do not re- 
 member whether I attended one or two terms of school 
 that year. I think I assisted in teaching in the academy 
 that fall, another young man and I taking charge in 
 the absence of the principal, Professor DeFord. I 
 think it was in September that Kirby Smith threatened
 
 40 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 Cincinnati, and Gov. Todd called out the militia to 
 defend the city. We received word of the Governor's 
 call about sundown, and several of us young men 
 rode over the township to spread the news that night. 
 We got in about midnight ; the women sat up to cook 
 our provisions and to make haversacks for us. We 
 were ordered to come with three days' rations and to 
 arm ourselves with squirrel rifles provided with suit- 
 able ammunition. There was little sleeping done in 
 the village that night. I remember hearing some 
 martial music that night that much impressed me: 
 my uncle Ephraim Harshman playing on my grand- 
 father's old fife that had done service in the war of 
 1812, and a man with him playing the snare-drum 
 came over the hill one-half mile south of the village. 
 It was a bright moonlight night and at that distance 
 the music sounded sweet. We boys felt somewhat 
 serious as there was no telling what dangers we might 
 encounter before we saw home again. By eight o'clock 
 the next morning a company of us was at the R. R. 
 station in Warren, five miles distant, ready to take 
 the train. A number of other companies were also 
 there. We boarded the train for Cleveland under the 
 command of Col. Opdyke and started on the journey 
 for Cincinnati. We marched up Euclid Ave., Cleve- 
 land, after disembarking, and were halted on the lake 
 front until time to take the train on the C. C. C. & I. 
 for Columbus and Cincinnati. This was the first time 
 I had seen a city of more than 5,000 inhabitants. We 
 took a train loaded with militia like ourselves, and 
 started for our destination. I was surprised to see 
 how soon lawless and predatory instincts were roused 
 in young men of exemplary habits at home. We were
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 41 
 
 not really under military rule, we had no inferior 
 officers and did about as we pleased. The boys would 
 shoot from the windows at objects along the railroad, 
 and while the train stopped for a while at Springfield 
 they raided a peach orchard and did other lawless 
 acts, of little importance it is true, but showing what 
 human nature is when not under restraint. We passed 
 through Dayton, Ohio, and the train stopped awhile 
 there. I thought it the most beautiful city I had ever 
 seen ; everything looked so fresh and new. Our train 
 moved slowly and we got to Cincinnati some time in 
 the night and were given breakfast the next morning 
 at one of the markets of the city. We found no rebels 
 at Cincinnati but the city was filled with troops, most 
 of them being militia, however. If Kirby Smith had 
 been there he would probably have had lots of fun with 
 us and our squirrel guns. In the afternoon we were 
 moved across the river into Covington, Ky. The 
 grandest sight I had yet seen was the marching of 
 the troops, four abreast, down the bank of the Ohio 
 across the pontoon bridge and up the opposite bank. 
 I had never seen so many people before. We re- 
 turned to Cincinnati and started on our return home. 
 Kirby Smith had decamped and furnished us a blood- 
 less victory. We arrived at home without losing a 
 man or gaining any military glory. During the winter 
 of 1862-63 I taught school in the district where I 
 first attended school. There was a feud in the district 
 partly on account of political differences, so that if a 
 teacher pleased one party, the other was sure to be 
 displeased. I had some difficulty on this account, 
 but on the whole got along very well. In the spring 
 I attended Alleghany College in Meadville, Pa. It
 
 42 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 happened on this wise. The college is a Methodist 
 institution, and in order to raise an endowment fund, 
 scholarships were sold. The Rev. Joseph Marvin 
 of Warren, Ohio, owned one of these scholarships, 
 entitling him to send one student free of tuition, and 
 he offered me the use of this scholarship. I was now 
 of age ; up to this' time I had turned all my earnings 
 over to my father and he had supported me. The 
 last term of school I had taught was mostly after I 
 had come of age, so I had the proceeds on hand and 
 decided to use them in attending college. I did not 
 have enough money to keep me long in college ; how- 
 ever, I had a very pleasant time in school that term. 
 I boarded at a farm house near the city where several 
 other students boarded. As good exercise, the college 
 authorities recommended the game of quoits. I was 
 passionately fond of that game, and even to this day 
 when I see men pitching quoits I feel a strong desire 
 to engage in the game. I had already progressed so 
 far in mathematics that I did not take that branch up, 
 but spent most of my time on Latin and Greek. I 
 also studied some of the sciences, among others, 
 Natural Theology, which I recited to Dr. Wm. Hunter, 
 who was professor of Hebrew literature. He was the 
 author of several popular hymns, or songs, and had 
 published a volume of spiritual songs called Select 
 Melodies. While I was in college the governor of 
 Pennsylvania, Governor Curtin, came to Meadville and 
 made the students a patriotic speech, urging enlistment 
 in the army. This was a short time before Lee's 
 raid into Pennsylvania and the battle of Gettysburg. 
 I left Alleghany college at the close of the spring 
 term, expecting to return to it later, which hope was 
 never fulfilled.
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 I EMIGRATE 
 
 Shortly after leaving college, in the month of June, 
 1863, I started for Illinois. My intention was to 
 teach during the coming winter term and return to 
 college in Meadville the next spring. My cousin, J. J. 
 Harshman, was travelling in the west selling dress 
 models, and I had arranged to meet him and travel 
 with him for a while. I went to Chicago and waited 
 there for a week, but for some reason my cousin failed 
 to get my letter and did not meet me. Chicago was 
 then a place of less than 300,000 inhabitants and was 
 a raw looking city. While waiting in Chicago, I 
 traversed the city quite thoroughly and took walks 
 out into the open country. A favorite place of resort 
 for men was the roof of the old court house, on which 
 was stationed a lookout who rang the fire alarm bell 
 in case of fire. The ascent was made by means of 
 a spiral iron staircase. There were but few street 
 cars and they were horse cars. No grade had been 
 established on many of the streets, and one was kept 
 climbing up and down steps as he walked along the 
 sidewalk. My money soon ran short and I was com- 
 pelled to seek employment or send home for assistance, 
 and this last I was unwilling to do. So I bought a 
 railroad ticket into the country, being pretty sure to 
 find employment there in the summertime. I went 
 
 43
 
 44 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 on the C. & A. out into Will county and stopped 
 off at a little station called Mokena. I went to the 
 hotel and inquired of the proprietor if he knew where 
 I might likely find employment. He directed me to 
 a farm, about a mile from the village, which was owned 
 by S. W. Allerton of Chicago, but was under the 
 management of a man whose name I have forgotten. 
 It was a large farm of 1,000 acres and a number of 
 men were employed on it. Having just come from 
 college, I was bleached out and my hands were soft 
 and white. I had on my best suit and looked more 
 like a city man than a farm hand. I left my valise 
 at the hotel and walked out to the aforesaid farm, 
 and found the manager working in his garden at the 
 side of the road. He had his back to me as I ap- 
 proached, and addressed him with the question, " Do 
 you want a hand ? " He straightened up, looked round 
 at me and replied promptly, " I don't want you, you 
 are too white." I assured him that appearances were 
 often deceitful, and his judgment too hasty, and that 
 I could work if I was white ; that I was out of money 
 and must have work. He at length agreed to give me 
 a trial and I returned to the hotel, got my valise and 
 got to the farm in time for dinner. In the afternoon 
 I went to work hilling potatoes. I lost most of the 
 skin off the inside of my hands the first half day I 
 worked and they have never been so soft since. I 
 went to work the next morning plowing corn with a 
 mule and a single bar plow. This was in the latter 
 part of June; in a short time the wheat harvest was 
 on hand and I was put to work binding wheat after 
 a machine called a " dropper " which cut the wheat 
 and raked it off in sheaves to be bound. The driver
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 45 
 
 would cut around a square piece and each binder 
 would bind one side while the machine cut one round. 
 The binders, five in number, would follow on around 
 the square, the fifth man was required to start in the 
 second round. I was a poor binder, having done little 
 of that kind of work, and if the others had been ex- 
 perts, I would have fallen behind, but, fortunately 
 for me, the other hands were Germans and slow 
 motioned. There was one exception ; one of the men 
 was a Scotch shepherd, about fifty years old, who had 
 been in Australia. He took care of the sheep on the 
 farm, and was probably a good shepherd; he ought 
 to have been, as he was good for nothing else. He 
 was an oddity, seemed stagestruck and was constantly 
 ejaculating sentences from plays, such as " angels and 
 ministers of grace, defend us." He got most of his 
 amusement from teasing the Germans. One morning 
 the manager sent me to bind some wheat that had 
 lain over night, and the dew on the straw caused the 
 skin on the ends of my fingers to wear through and 
 bleed, and I refused to bind any more wheat. I had 
 wages coming to me and was independent. In 
 shocking some wheat one day I saw my first rattle- 
 snake. When I was a young man I preferred to work 
 in the harvest field and hay field barefoot, and I 
 usually did. I was barefoot that day, and as I picked 
 up a sheaf and turned round, I heard the snake rattle. 
 From the description of a rattlesnake's rattle, which 
 I had read, I recognized the sound instantly and 
 jumped as far as I could. Turning round I saw the 
 snake slowly crawling off. When I returned to the 
 house I put on my boots. After working for a few 
 days at this place, I had hired out by the month at
 
 46 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 twenty-six ($26.00) dollars for a wet month, I worked 
 six weeks and lost one-half day. At the close of wheat 
 harvest, we went to haying. Here I was at home. I 
 could pitch hay all day onto a wagon and not feel 
 tired at night. We cut one eighty acre field and I 
 pitched it all onto the wagons. I pitched alone for 
 three teams hauling and stacking in the field, the other 
 men were Germans, you remember. Our board was 
 rather inferior, the corned beef was sometimes well 
 not sweet, and I could not eat it, though the Germans 
 did not mind it. I am German, but was too much 
 Americanized to relish spoiled meat. The wife of 
 the manager was younger than he and rather gay. 
 They had a daughter nearly grown, and a niece was 
 staying with them, who, I understood, had been sent 
 from home to keep her out of mischief, but this was 
 likely to be a difficult thing to do. The whole com- 
 munity was German, and Americans were likely to 
 find little society. I went to a religious meeting but 
 once, I think, in about two months, the longest hiatus 
 of the kind in my experience when I was not confined 
 by sickness. The manager seemed to take a liking 
 to me, and conversed with me on religious topics. He 
 was a dyspeptic and seemed much depressed mentally. 
 He pressed me to remain with him, but farming was 
 an avocation with me, not my vocation. While with 
 him, I read with great interest Daubigny's History of 
 the Reformation, which I found in the house. My 
 cousin, P. A. Beil of Ohio, followed me to Illinois 
 and got work with a farmer two or three miles away 
 and we visited together on Sunday. When the haying 
 was finished, I resigned my position, being told by the 
 manager that, unpromising as I seemed at the start,
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 47 
 
 I had done more work while with him than any other 
 man on the farm. I boarded the C. & A. for Spring- 
 field, where I changed for Quincy, arriving in that 
 city a total stranger. I think my cousin accompanied 
 me; if he did not he soon followed me. My first 
 business was to secure a school for the coming winter 
 term. This, I had no trouble in doing, engaging one 
 about two and one-half miles southwest of the city 
 in Melrose township. It was still August and the 
 school would not open until the first week in October, 
 and it was now a question with me what to do mean- 
 while, as I could not afford to remain idle and on 
 expense. First I tried selling dress models for cutting 
 ladies' dresses; but though I had some success, I de- 
 tested the business and soon quit it. I went to a 
 farmer with whom I had engaged board and lodging 
 for the winter, a Massachusetts man named Jacob 
 Perkins, and engaged to work for him on his farm 
 until school began. I purchased some suitable clothes 
 of the cheapest kind and went to work. I worked 
 barefoot in the field as usual, not seeing any rattle- 
 snakes. Before sunrise Mr. Perkins would rattle his 
 milk pails to waken me and I would go out with him 
 to milk his cows. We had early frosts that fall and 
 sometimes the ground would be white as I went out 
 to work in my bare feet. You must know that Eastern 
 men, or Yankees as they are called, never permit their 
 wives to milk or " pail " the cows ; this, among them 
 is men's work. I drilled wheat, picked apples, and did 
 other seasonable work. The young ladies of the 
 neighborhood would come in to visit Mr. Perkins' 
 daughter and I was introduced to several of them as 
 the new school teacher while dressed in my work
 
 48 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 clothes and in my bare feet. But I will state here 
 that I suffered for my folly in exposing my feet to 
 the frost. The following winter my feet perspired 
 so freely as to give me great trouble. They ruined 
 one pair of boots, making them so offensive that I 
 could not wear them, and I was compelled to wear 
 the heaviest hose and heavy boots to be presentable 
 in company. I have never gone barefoot since. While 
 with Mr. Perkins, I worked with a negro from Mis- 
 souri by the name of John; he had no patronymic 
 or family name. Hundreds of these refugees were 
 crossing the Mississippi into Illinois to escape slavery. 
 There was a camp of them at Quincy and they were 
 fed by the government. John was about forty-five 
 years old, and was consumed with a desire to learn 
 to read. Among others I became his teacher for 
 a short time. John had learned his letters but could 
 not learn to pronounce words ; he seemingly could 
 get no idea of the connection between a letter and its 
 proper sound. He was patient and persevering with- 
 out any result. To illustrate what I mean, I will 
 relate what transpired between us when I was striving 
 to teach and John was struggling to learn. John 
 spelled the word G-o-d but could not pronounce it. 
 I told him that spelled " God." He next spelled r-o-d. 
 "Now, John/' said I, "What does that spell?" He 
 looked up at me with all the innocence of a child and 
 replied, " I dun' no, I spects it must spell hebbin." 
 I resigned then and there as John's teacher. About 
 half way between my boarding place and the place 
 where I taught was a Methodist chapel called Melrose 
 chapel. Here I attended Sunday school, preaching 
 services and prayer meetings. I let it be known that
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 49 
 
 I was a member of that denomination and took part 
 in the services. I had determined in my own mind 
 that I would conceal the fact that I had sustained 
 any official relation to the church. This Methodist 
 society was on the Payson circuit, and they had 
 preaching by the pastor every alternate Sunday; on 
 the intermediate Sundays the local preachers usually 
 officiated. The society had two local preachers and 
 one exhorter ; they were men of no special talent 
 and there was no intense desire in the congregation 
 to hear them, as they had heard them often, and 
 consequently the preachers had no longing to preach 
 to them, but found it a task to shirk when practi- 
 cable. One Sunday after Sunday school, which was 
 held before the preaching service, these officers in- 
 vited me to walk out with them, and on my doing 
 so, they told me that they had heard a rumor that 
 I was a preacher and they wished me to preach 
 that morning. L assured them that it was a mistake, 
 that I was not a preacher. They seemed almost in- 
 credulous and asked me if I had sustained no official 
 relation to the church, and I was forced to confess 
 that I was an exhorter. " Oh," they said, " that is 
 the same thing, and you must preach this morning." 
 I did not feel free to refuse and did the best I 
 could. I was frequently afterward called upon to 
 exercise my talent during the fall and winter. The 
 pastor was Rev. Mr. Wells, who was an able preacher, 
 but failed as a pastor because of his inability to adapt 
 himself to the people. He afterwards left the min- 
 istry and practiced law. His wife was a talented 
 woman, the daughter of Rev. Dr. Lemon. They had 
 an interesting family, well trained, and speaking the
 
 50 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 most correct English of any children I ever knew. 
 I much enjoyed my association with this cultivated 
 family. I commenced teaching the first week in Oc- 
 tober and had a successful school. I enjoyed teaching 
 this school more than any other I had ever taught. 
 My cousin, P. A. Beil, had secured a school in the 
 northern part of Adams county and I visited him 
 a time or two during the fall and winter, one time 
 on an invitation to preach at a neighboring chapel. 
 I found kind friends among my patrons. There were 
 two brothers, Joseph and Jacob Hanks, who were 
 cousins of Abraham Lincoln. Jacob was a local M. E. 
 preacher and Joseph was a leader in singing. There 
 was also a family by the name of Reeder, the members 
 of which were my special friends. The father was 
 dead, leaving quite a large estate, which was now 
 divided among the children except to two, who were 
 minors, and who attended my school. There were 
 five brothers, three of whom were Methodists, and 
 six sisters, two married and four at home. I have 
 not seen any of them for many years, but I shall 
 never forget their kindness to me, a stranger. The 
 old gentleman with whom I boarded, Mr. Perkins, 
 was, as I have said, a Massachusetts Yankee, and in 
 some respects an oddity. When he read his news- 
 paper, in place of using the lamplight, he would place 
 a candlestick containing a lighted candle in the crook 
 of his left arm and read by the light of it. He was 
 an 'enthusiastic and inveterate euchre player. The 
 young man who taught in the district north of mine, 
 Lewis Q. Turner, by name, also boarded with Mr. 
 Perkins and could play euchre: They played every 
 night when Mr. Turner was in the house, and many
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 51 
 
 mornings before Mr. Turner left for school. The 
 latter was courting the old gentleman's daughter and 
 was naturally complaisant. Sometimes Mr. Perkins' 
 nephew, Nat Pease, who lived "nearby would come 
 in to spend the evening and then he and Miss Perkins 
 would take a hand in the game. I learned how to 
 play euchre without handling a card. It was during 
 this winter that occurred that memorable storm on 
 December 31st, 1863. It was on Friday, and I re- 
 member that I froze my right ear in going to school 
 that morning. It snowed and stormed all day, con- 
 stantly growing colder, until when school was dis- 
 missed at night the roads were drifted full of snow 
 in places, and the parents came to take their children 
 home. I stayed all night at Mrs. Reeder's, who lived 
 near the schoolhouse. The next morning, January 
 1st, 1864, it was clear, but the mercury was 20 degrees 
 or more below zero, and many people were frozen 
 to death throughout the country. In the spring of 
 1864 I went on my first duck hunt which was also 
 my last. The ducks were plentiful on the Mississippi 
 bottoms and several of my friends who were experi- 
 enced hunters took me with them on a hunt. There 
 were not shot-guns enough to go round so I was 
 provided with a rifle. Of course, I could not shoot 
 ducks with a rifle, but it is probable that I would have 
 done no better with a shot-gun. I think I probably 
 furnished good sport for the ducks, but I got none 
 myself and I returned home very tired and hungry. 
 Mrs. Perkins furnished me a lunch of baked beans 
 and corn bread ; I was not usually fond of either of 
 them, but they tasted unusually good to me then, 
 proving that hunger is really the best sauce.
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 I BECOME A METHODIST PREACHER. 
 
 When my school closed, I was given license to 
 preach by the Quarterly Conference and employed as 
 junior preacher on Payson circuit on which Mr. Wells 
 was preacher in charge. I procured a horse and high 
 wheeled sulky with which to travel the circuit, several 
 appointments at different points. The village of 
 Payson was headquarters for the circuit and the 
 preacher in charge lived in the parsonage there. I 
 suppose my efforts at preaching during the winter 
 had been rather acceptable or they would not have 
 employed me in this capacity. Well, I did the best 
 I could at preaching, though, no doubt, my efforts 
 were quite crude. I was a little t past twenty-two 
 years of age at this time and had been an 'exhorter 
 for four years or more. I never possessed the art 
 of drawing out a discourse. My sermons had neither 
 exordiums nor perorations, I plunged at once into 
 my subject and ended with a suddenness that startled 
 people. I could not talk on and on when I had 
 finished. Of course, I afterwards learned to finish 
 a little more gracefully, but have not yet learned to 
 talk when I have nothing to say. That is one merit 
 I may claim for my preaching: I know when I am 
 through with a subject. When my cousin closed his 
 school in the spring, he returned to Ohio and I was 
 
 52
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 53 
 
 left alone. At the close of the conference year I 
 was persuaded by the Presiding Elder of the Griggs- 
 ville district, the Rev. J. P. Dimmitt, to take a recom- 
 mendation for admission to the Illinois conference. I 
 did not wish to do this because I desired to finish 
 my course in college. He thought, however, that he 
 could get me a place where I could preach and also 
 attend college ; and it was my understanding that if 
 he could not obtain such an appointment, he was to 
 withhold my recommendation for admission. The 
 conference met in Danville, Illinois, in August or 
 September, 1864. As I was waiting to learn what 
 Mr. Dimmitt would obtain for me, I did not go before 
 the committee for the examination of candidates for. 
 admission to conference. But after that committee 
 had adjourned its sittings, without consulting me, Mr. 
 Dimmitt handed in to the conference my recommen- 
 dation for admission, and without examination, on 
 his bare recommendation, I was admitted as a pro- 
 bationer in the conference. The rules of the denomi- 
 nation require two years' probation with annual ex- 
 aminations before admission to full membership in 
 the conference. I was not only admitted as a pro- 
 bationer, but was appointed preacher in charge of 
 Virginia circuit. This was quite a responsibility for 
 a young man not yet twenty-three years old. I was 
 much disappointed, but concluded to accept the ap- 
 pointment. Before going to my appointment, I de- 
 cided to visit my father in Ohio. While there, the 
 state election took place and my Democratic friends 
 insisted on my casting my vote. I did not wish to do 
 so, but could find no valid excuse for refusing unless 
 I disclaimed being longer a Democrat. This, I was
 
 54 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 not willing to do, although I could no longer approve 
 the conduct of the party in opposing the civil war ; but 
 I was not ready to desert the party as yet. In fact, 
 I had, to a large extent, lost my partisanship, being 
 disgusted with the extremists in both parties. The 
 Democratic candidate for Governor was Clement L. 
 Valandigham, who had been sent through the Union 
 lines into the Confederacy by order of President Lin- 
 coln because of his alleged sympathy with the re- 
 bellion. He had returned to Ohio by way of Canada 
 and had been nominated for Governor by the Demo- 
 crats. While I felt that he had been unfairly dealt 
 with, and that Mr. Lincoln's act in sending him out 
 of the country was tyrannical and unwarranted, yet 
 I did not approve of his conduct, and did not care 
 to vote for him, but rather than disappoint my friends, 
 I did so. He was overwhelmingly defeated by Gov. 
 Brough, who received the largest majority ever given 
 in the state up to that time. This was the first vote 
 I had ever cast, and I have no special reason to be 
 proud of it. I returned to Illinois and went to my 
 charge on Virginia circuit. On the return trip my 
 trunk got lost and I did not recover it for a month. 
 My best suit of clothes was in the trunk and I was 
 compelled to introduce myself to my parishioners in 
 my everyday clothes. There were four pleaching 
 points, or appointments, to use the Methodist language. 
 One Sunday I would preach morning and night in 
 Virginia; the next Sunday, I would preach in the 
 morning at Griggs Chapel, on the Sangamon bottom, 
 and at two different schoolhouses along the bluff at 
 different points, in the afternoon. When the days 
 were long enough, I would return to Virginia the
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 55 
 
 same day pretty thoroughly exhausted. I went to 
 these appointments on horseback. I boarded with 
 Brother VanEaton, an old wheel horse in the church, 
 and the leading man in the society in Virginia ; in fact, 
 he ran things pretty much to please himself. He was 
 a zealous Methodist and a good man, according to 
 his light. He had an unusual physical infirmity; he 
 would go to sleep almost immediately on sitting down, 
 except at table. When listening to preaching, he was 
 continually nodding and waking up, yet he seemed 
 to hear all the sermon. My Presiding Elder was the 
 Rev. Hardin Wallace, a minister of slender abilities, 
 but of great industry and zeal, and who had been 
 unusually successful as a revivalist. I shall never 
 forget the first sermon I heard him preach. It was 
 at a quarterly meeting on Sunday morning before 
 communion service. It was on family government 
 and was full of humor and wit, and I could not resist 
 the inclination to more than smile; in fact, it con- 
 vulsed me with laughter, much to my shame, as I sat 
 in the pulpit behind him. He spoke of how parents 
 would dispute and quarrel in the presence of their 
 children, one asserting that a trivial event happened on 
 Monday while the other contended that it was on 
 Tuesday until it made the listener feel like the old 
 German travelling in Virginia, who coming to the 
 hot springs, stopped his team and leaving his son, 
 John, to hold the horses, took his bucket and went to 
 the spring to get water for them. Being greatly 
 alarmed and surprised at finding the water hot, he 
 started back to the wagon waving his hand and calling 
 out, " Trive on Sc.hon, trive on Schon, hell iss not von 
 mile from here." It seemed to me the most inappro-
 
 56 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 priate sermon for the solemn occasion that I had ever 
 heard. As I became acquainted with the people of 
 Virginia, I entered into the social life of the place so 
 far as I thought it proper. As I loved music I joined 
 a glee club which was composed of some of the best 
 young people of the town. Brother VanEaton had a 
 daughter at home who introduced me into young so- 
 ciety. She was at this time affianced to Lieut. Thomas 
 I. Berry, who was a prisoner in Andersonville prison in 
 the South, and who nearly lost his life there. At the 
 close of the Civil War they were married and he 
 afterwards graduated from Northwestern University, 
 and Garrett Biblical Institute, and became the Rev. 
 Thomas L. Berry, D.D., and President of Iowa Wes- 
 leyan University at Mt. Pleasant, Iowa, where he died. 
 Not long after his death, his widow fell on an icy pave- 
 ment, struck her head against the curbstone and was 
 instantly killed. Another of my young friends in 
 Virginia, Archie Campbell, enlisted just before the 
 close of the war and was drowned in the Mississippi 
 river by the sinking of the steamboat on which his 
 company was embarked. Mr. John Prince, a fine 
 young man, was the principal of an academy in the 
 town which was controlled by the Cumberland Pres- 
 byterians. This denomination was rather the leading 
 one in the place. He was married during the year to 
 a Miss Maggie Epler and chose me as best man with 
 Miss Mary Dwelle as bridesmaid. I had ordered a 
 new broadcloth coat for the occasion, but shortly be- 
 fore the nuptials, I had the misfortune to fall on a slip- 
 pery crossing and make a short rent in the knee of my 
 best trousers. I had it mended, but it could still be 
 seen on close inspection. Miss Dwelle was mischie-
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 57 
 
 vous, and persisted in laughing at my wounded trou- 
 sers. She herself was resplendent in a new silk dress 
 made out of one of her stepmother's old ones, but I 
 did not laugh at her. One of my parishioners was a 
 Mr. Randall, who was proprietor of the only lumber 
 yard in the town. He was an Eastern man and his 
 wife was an Eastern woman and niece of Bishop 
 Edmund Janes. She was a very neat housekeeper and 
 a good cook, but very slow about it. I remember how 
 hungry I would get before dinner was ready when I 
 dined with them. There was very little silver seen 
 on the tables of the plain people in those days and I 
 think Mrs. Randall's table was the only one on the 
 circuit on which I found silver knives and forks. A 
 year or two later, when I was in college, I was scan- 
 dalized and felt insulted by a remark of the Rev. Dr. 
 Sanders, who was a professor in the institution, Illi- 
 nois College. Speaking in class one day of certain 
 persons, he said, " being civilized people, of course 
 they had silver knives and forks," and I thought the 
 remark unwarranted. Of course, being without proper 
 forks, people ate with their knives, but I could not 
 think this marked them as barbarians. The old school 
 Presbyterians had a small society in Virginia. Their 
 minister, I do not now recall his name, took a notion 
 in the spring of 1865 that he wanted to visit the army 
 in the service of the Christian Commission. He had 
 a large house in which he kept a miniature Young 
 Ladies' Seminary, and some of the young ladies 
 boarded and roomed in the house. The school was 
 closed, but some few of the young ladies remained. 
 His wife was not willing to stay without a man in 
 the house, and for some reason, her choice fell on
 
 58 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 me. She said if he could get me to stay in the 
 house he might go on his mission. I felt somewhat, 
 doubtful of the propriety of the thing asked of me, 
 though I wished to accommodate, and besides it was 
 to my advantage, financially, as I would get board and 
 lodging free. So I mentioned the matter in the family 
 of Brother VanEaton, knowing that they would be free 
 to express their disapproval if they saw anything 
 amiss in the affair. As they said nothing in disap- 
 proval of the project, I promised to stay in the min- 
 ister's family during his absence, and did so. Though 
 nothing was ever said about the matter, I have since 
 thought it was not prudent for me to do as I did 
 in the case ; it might have caused invidious remarks 
 and suspicions. A minister of the gospel cannot be 
 too careful of his conduct, to avoid all appearance of 
 evil. I seemed to be quite successful in my ministry 
 so far as pleasing the people was concerned. No 
 fault was found with me, either as a preacher or a 
 man ; but I accomplished nothing, so far as I could 
 see, in saving souls. No one was converted or added 
 to the societies under my charge. I began a series 
 of meetings in Virginia during the winter but .an epi- 
 demic of small-pox breaking out in the town, the 
 meeting houses were closed and the work hindered. 
 I did not begin any revival meetings at any other 
 point. As to my own personal religious experience, 
 I was passing through a crisis ; I was not satisfied 
 with my experience or with my work. I had a keen 
 sense of unfitness for my work, and it seemed to me 
 that my audiences could not but realize my condition, 
 and I felt abashed before them. My sermons seemed 
 to me to be weak and inferior, and I was ashamed of
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 59 
 
 them. My life appeared to me so imperfect that 
 I thought my hearers must think of it when they 
 saw me in the pulpit. I strove to live an exemplary 
 life, but it seemed to me the harder I strove the less 
 I succeeded. I often wet my pillow with my tears 
 as I reflected on my failures ; I seemed either too 
 solemn or too gay in society; I could not hold the 
 golden mean between the two. I was learning my 
 own helplessness and folly and ignorance. I said 
 nothing of these experiences to any one, for I knew 
 no one to turn to for comfort. Sometimes I would 
 be greatly drawn out after God and I would feel 
 my zeal quickened, but soon I would fall back into 
 spiritual lethargy again. I strove until I became dis- 
 couraged and was in great danger of giving up the 
 struggle and of coming to the same conclusion as 
 the man did who buried his talent in the earth: that 
 the Lord required impossible things of His people. 
 I began to doubt, or try to doubt, my call to the 
 ministry. As I lacked " fruits," one of Mr. Wesley's 
 proofs of a divine call, I surmised there might be 
 some mistake in my case. Then worldly ambition 
 came in to draw me off from the work of the ministry. 
 I knew there was more chance to gain reputation in 
 the practice of the law, to say nothing of more wealth. 
 But with all my efforts to shake off my sense of a 
 duty to preach, I could not succeed. Then I tem- 
 porized: I could preach as a local preacher while 
 making the law my vocation ; preaching could be 
 merely an avocation. I finally decided at all events, 
 to leave the conference and locate. I told my Pre- 
 siding Elder that I doubted my call, and meant to 
 locate. He did not seem to be overwhelmingly im-
 
 60 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 pressed with my duty to preach. At all events, he 
 did not press me to continue in the work, and said 
 I was the one to know about the call. He said if 
 I decided to give up preaching, at which he thought 
 I would succeed, that I should come down to Jackson- 
 ville and take up law or medicine: that I would suc- 
 ceed in either. When the Presbyterians of Virginia 
 learned that I thought of leaving the Methodist pulpit, 
 they invited me to fill their pulpit, which was then 
 vacant. I had no inclination to do that, however, 
 though I appreciated the compliment. I was a loyal 
 Methodist, and if I would not preach for the. Metho- 
 dists, I would not preach for any other sect. In 
 April 1865, while I was in Virginia, President Lincoln 
 was assassinated. He was buried at Springfield and 
 I attended his funeral there. I had never seen him 
 in life, but I saw him in his coffin. The night before 
 the funeral, I walked the streets of Springfield unable 
 to find even a chair in any hotel in the city. I saw 
 him carried from the old State House where he had 
 lain in state, to the hearse, while the " Dead March 
 in ' Saul ' " was played by the St. Louis Silver Cornet 
 Band and a large choir sang the tune to the hymn 
 " Children of the Heavenly King," the grandest music 
 I had ever heard; it fairly made my hair stand on 
 end. I heard Bishop Simpson's oration at the tomb, 
 but was most too tired to enjoy it or appreciate it. 
 
 During the summer of 1865 I attended the State 
 Sunday School Convention, where I heard Philip 
 Phillips sing. He sang more than once in my hearing, 
 the song "Your Mission," which President Lincoln 
 asked him to repeat when he sang in Washington. 
 He had a sweet voice, and accompanied his singing
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 61 
 
 on an organ. At the close of the conference year, I 
 resigned from the Conference and took the relation 
 of local preacher again. I returned to Quincy and 
 engaged to teach the same school that I had taught 
 two years previously. I intended to take up the 
 study of law, and visited the various law offices in 
 Quincy to borrow a copy of Blackstone's Commen- 
 taries, but I failed to find a copy that I could get. 
 I then tried the book stores to purchase a copy, but 
 with no better success. My way seemed to be hedged 
 up for the time, and I was not sure enough of my 
 ground to push matters very hard; I feared that I 
 was displeasing God. I concluded to let the matter 
 rest for the time until I could feel more satisfied 
 concerning my future course. I went on with my 
 school and enjoyed teaching. I had secured board 
 with Jacob H. Bishop, whose wife was Salina Reeder. 
 They were Methodists and very congenial people. I 
 got along smoothly until winter came on and I learned 
 that the travelling preacher, Rev. John Sargent, was 
 intending to start a series of meetings ere long at 
 Melrose Chapel. This prospect made it necessary 
 for me to come to some conclusion with respect to 
 my future course. I did not feel that I could go 
 into the revival meetings with the matter undecided. 
 At this juncture I received a letter from my aunt, my 
 mother's youngest sister, upbraiding me for giving 
 up the ministry. She charged me with pride and 
 worldly ambition, declaring that I thought the min- 
 istry too small a thing for me. My conscience could 
 not clear itself of the accusations. One evening after 
 school I felt that the matter must be decided at once; 
 that I had come to the parting of the ways, and must
 
 62 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 take one road or the other. When I faced the matter 
 squarely, I saw that I must devote myself to the min- 
 istry or forfeit the favor of God and lose my soul; 
 this fact was quite clear to my mind. Of course, 
 no sane man could hesitate in making a choice be- 
 tween these two contingencies. I said to the Lord, 
 " O well, if that is the only alternative, I will preach, 
 but I think it hard that I should have my life work 
 imposed on me without having any choice in the 
 matter." Then I said to myself that I would take 
 my time about preparing to preach. I resolved that 
 I would finish my college course and then take a 
 course in a theological seminary. If I had to preach, 
 I would get all the ' advantages possible. But soon 
 my hard heart began to soften; the Lord was won- 
 derfully patient with my stubbornness and did not 
 take His Holy Spirit from me. As I began sub^ 
 missively to accept my calling, I began more and more 
 to feel my unfitness for the great work before me. 
 Then I said, " Lord if I must preach the gospel, give 
 me a fitness for the task ; I have done no good so far, 
 give me fruit of my ministry." Then the Lord began 
 to draw me' out after Himself. I felt that I needed 
 purity of heart, the anointing of the Holy Ghost, that 
 I might have power in preaching. The revival meet- 
 ings began and continued two weeks under the labors 
 of the circuit preacher, then he went to another point 
 and left the meetings to be conducted by the local 
 talent. As soon as the meetings began, I began to 
 talk in the social meetings about my need of salvation 
 from all sin, and to pray for holiness of heart. The 
 Lord greatly drew me out for this grace. I knew no 
 one to whom to go for counsel. There was a holiness
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 63 
 
 man in Quincy, a local preacher, Warrington, by name, 
 who afterwards became a travelling preacher, who 
 came out to the meetings and spoke on the subject of 
 Entire Sanctification ; but there was a harshness and 
 censoriousness in his spirit that repelled and preju- 
 diced me, so that I got no help from him. The circuit 
 preacher had been a chaplain in the army and seemed 
 quite unspiritual to me, and I got no help from him. 
 My talk on heart-holiness had a marked influence 
 on others, though I did not use exhortations, but 
 spoke only of my own needs. The meetings became 
 unusually spiritual and powerful. When the preacher 
 in charge left the meeting in charge of the local 
 preachers, there was no one responsible for its con- 
 duct. The older preachers would each endeavor to 
 put the duty of preaching upon the others, and when 
 they could not settle the matter satisfactorily among 
 themselves, they would ask me to preach and I never 
 refused to do it. I never put myself forward, but 
 if they did not wish me to officiate, it was incumbent 
 on them not to ask me. I had two reasons for this 
 conduct : in the first place, I could not, in conscience, 
 refuse to preach when the opportunity was given, 
 if I was able to do so ; secondly, I knew the congre- ' 
 gation did not wish to hear the other men, and I felt 
 responsible for the success of the meeting. So it 
 turned out that I did the most of the preaching. Al-' 
 though they asked me to do so, yet this caused a 
 little jealousy in the other preachers toward me, which 
 caused me great pain. The meetings grew in interest 
 and a number of persons professed conversion, among 
 them many of my pupils. Then unusual manifesta- 
 tions began to appear among the converts. The first
 
 64 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 one affected was a young man fifteen or sixteen years 
 old. He was of an irreligious family of rather ig- 
 norant people, and undoubtedly had never heard of 
 such manifestations of religious excitement. He 
 would become apparently unconscious and rigid and 
 would remain in this state for a considerable time. 
 Soon the contagion spread to some of the other con- 
 verts, but to none of the older people. One young 
 woman, in particular, would lie for hours with eyes 
 turned upward, an appearance of ecstacy upon her 
 countenance, able to hear what transpired around 
 her, but unable to speak. She would be rigid as a 
 log. She endeavored to avoid these trances but would 
 be overtaken against her will. Sometimes, being worn 
 out with watching with her, we would take her to 
 some house and put her to bed. She would be all 
 right in the morning. These were all the phenomena 
 of the kind I ever witnessed. No meetings I have 
 held since have developed them or anything akin to 
 them. It seemed to be a cataleptic state superinduced 
 by intense mental concentration. The strange thing 
 about it is that it should have become epidemic. But 
 history proves that such religious manifestations, or 
 manifestations accompanying religious movements, 
 often become epidemic, extending sometimes over 
 large sections of country. They are usually confined 
 to the uncultivated classes, who are more under the 
 control of their emotions than others. Mr. Wesley 
 saw some such manifestations accompanying his labors 
 and was in doubt concerning their origin. He said 
 they might be from God, they might be from nature, 
 they might be from the devil. My opinion is that they 
 are natural physical phenomena and prove nothing
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 65 
 
 one way or the other respecting the spiritual condition 
 of the subject of them. Notwithstanding my efforts 
 after a higher religious experience, I seemed to make 
 no progress, though I felt much quickened and stirred 
 up. I needed encouragement and instruction, and was 
 in great danger of falling back into indifference. 
 When my school closed in the spring of 1866, which 
 was the centenary year of Methodism in America, I 
 was employed as centenary agent for Quincy College. 
 My duties were to appeal to Methodists for gifts of 
 money to endow the college. I tried the agency for 
 a month, but did not like the work; I found myself 
 a poor beggar, and wished to resign. The Rev. T. J. 
 Bryant, who was travelling the Barry circuit desired 
 the place I filled, so I changed places with him by 
 consent of all concerned and became preacher in charge 
 of the Barry circuit for the remainder of the con- 
 ference year. I made a contract with the Quarterly 
 Conference of the circuit as to the salary I should 
 receive, the only time in my life that I have done so, 
 and then they failed to keep their contract with me, 
 the only time that I ever failed to get all that was 
 promised me. I went to Barry, Pike county, 111., to 
 enter upon my duties, and secured board in the family 
 of Wm. Jennings, whose wife was a daughter of 
 Deacon Hoyt, a local preacher on the charge. Mr. 
 Jennings kept a small grocery store in Barry. He 
 had been in California during the excitement over 
 the discovery of gold in that country, but had returned 
 without a fortune. The most prominent family in the 
 Methodist circles in Barry was that of Judge Grubb. 
 The judge was an aged man, a lawyer, who had sob- 
 ered down and become religious in his old age after
 
 66 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 a somewhat notorious and wild career as a young 
 man. I did not succeed in becoming much acquainted 
 with him. He had an interesting family, rather re- 
 fined and cultivated, and I enjoyed their society. I 
 have little recollection of other people in the town. 
 The circuit had five appointments or preaching places. 
 The first Sunday, I preached in Barry morning and 
 night. The second Sunday at a point in the country in 
 the morning and at Barry at night; and on the third 
 Sunday at three different points in the country, Mt. 
 Carmel chapel in the morning, a schoolhouse at 2 :30 
 in the afternoon, and at another chapel at 4:00 that 
 evening. I enjoyed the work very well and seemed 
 to be acceptable as a preacher. I had quite a repu- 
 tation as a Sunday school man, being accustomed to 
 training the children in singing. This was my special 
 recommendation to the church at Barry and they told 
 me that I was a much better preacher than they had 
 expected. This was encouraging, as I had made no 
 pretenses to unusual preaching ability. I had a novel 
 experience while on this charge. The former pastor, 
 Rev. T. J. Bryant, who still occupied the parsonage at 
 Barry, had a difficulty with one of the local preachers, 
 an Englishman, whose name I have forgotten, and 
 brought charges against him for slander, which ac- 
 cusations had to be enquired into by an ecclesiastical 
 court. This court consisted of a committee of six 
 local preachers, and it was my duty, as preacher in 
 charge, to summon and convene this court and to 
 preside over its deliberations. As I had never seen 
 a church trial, and knew nothing of ecclesiastical law, 
 or the proceedings of such a court, I naturally felt 
 much embarrassed, and incompetent to preside as
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 67 
 
 judge in such a case. Happily for me, before the 
 proceedings had gone far, the Presiding Elder of the 
 district, the Rev. Emmor Elliot, came to my relief, 
 and took charge of matters. The local preacher was 
 found guilty and excluded from the church. Whether 
 he had slandered the other man or not, I am not clear, 
 but he had said things he could not prove to be true. 
 Shortly after I began my ministry in Barry a young 
 couple came in from the country to be married. As 
 it happened, the Baptist minister at this time was a 
 candidate for the ministry still unordained, and I 
 also was without ordination. The young people 
 wanted to be married by a minister and did not know 
 what to do. Each time the groom went for a preacher, 
 the bride changed her travelling costume for her 
 bridal apparel, and when he returned without one, she 
 changed again. As a last resort they went into the 
 country to Deacon Hoyt's. The deacon was shearing 
 sheep, and without change of raiment, he went into 
 the house and performed the ceremony, and the mar- 
 ried couple went on their way, happy. At the end 
 of the conference year, which was in September, I 
 took leave of my charge, and went to Bloomington, 
 111., to attend the session of the Illinois annual con- 
 ference. I went with the hope of getting work as a 
 junior preacher where I could attend college. On 
 some circuits, two preachers were employed, the 
 one being called the preacher in charge, the other us- 
 ually an unmarried man, being denominated the junior 
 preacher. The junior was not expected to attend to 
 the business matters of the charge, but simply to do 
 half the preaching. This arrangement was very 
 common formerly among the Methodist people, but has
 
 68 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 now nearly gone out of use, as the large circuits have 
 been cut up into smaller charges. The salary of the 
 junior preacher was usually small and he boarded 
 round among the membership. This being the cen- 
 tennial year of Methodism, the four conferences in 
 the state of Illinois met together that year at Bloom- 
 ington, that being a central point. I do not mean they 
 held their business sessions together. It was a sort 
 of joint convention. The four conferences had not 
 far from a thousand members, and the meetings were 
 of unusual interest to me. I saw several men who 
 were then, or afterward became, noted. 
 
 One of these personages was Dr. Fowler of Rock 
 River conference, who afterwards became a bishop. 
 He was then a comparatively young man of com- 
 manding talents. Another was Jesse T. Peck, who had 
 for some time previously been editor of a church 
 paper on the Pacific Coast. He was a large, portly 
 man, past middle age and quite bald, there being but 
 a fringe of hair above his neck. When he rose to 
 address the meeting he convulsed the audience by 
 announcing " The Pacific Coast salutes you." There 
 was at that time a member of the Illinois conference 
 by the name of George Barrett. He was quite an 
 able preacher, but an irrepressible wit and humorist. 
 As Dr. Peck was speaking, Mr. Barrett leaned over 
 toward me and, referring to Dr. Peck's bald head, 
 asked in a whisper, " What do you think, is there not 
 too much prairie for the amount of timber ? " Dr. 
 Peck was also afterward chosen bishop. I failed to 
 find a place, as I had hoped, where I could attend 
 college and preach on Sundays, thus paying my way. 
 At the close of the Conference, I called on the Rev.
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 69 
 
 William Rutledge, who lived in Bloomington and was 
 pastor of the circuit of that name. While there Dr. 
 Peter Cartwright called. He said he was hunting a 
 junior preacher for the Jacksonville circuit and he 
 asked Brother Rutledge if he knew where he could find 
 a young man for this place. Up to this time I had 
 never met Dr. Cartwright. Brother Rutledge cited him 
 to me as a possible candidate for the place, and he in- 
 formed me that I could attend the Illinois College at 
 Jacksonville and fill the place of junior preacher. I 
 asked Dr. Cartwright what salary they would allow 
 me, and he said he supposed they would allow me 
 $300.00 for the year. As I thought that, with what 
 money I had on hands, I could live on that amount, 
 he asked when I could be ready to go to the charge, 
 and I replied, " On the first train." So, the matter 
 was settled with a few words in a few minutes. I 
 afterwards heard Dr. Cartwright preach several times, 
 as he was Presiding Elder of the Jacksonville district. 
 He had formerly been celebrated as a powerful 
 preacher, but now, in his old age, his preaching was 
 tame and not at all brilliant. He was a man of great 
 force of character and iron will, but in no sense a 
 great man. 
 
 I entered Illinois College at once, it being the autumn 
 of 1866. The president of the college, Dr. Sturtevant, 
 excused me from chapel on Saturday and Sunday as 
 they would interfere with my ministerial labors. I 
 obtained board and lodging with a Mr. Hornbeck on 
 South Main street, just one-half mile from the college 
 campus. I had become acquainted with this family 
 while travelling Barry circuit, they at that time living 
 within the bounds of that charge. Mrs. Hornbeck
 
 70 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 was the daughter of Stephen Paxton, the noted Sunday 
 school evangelist, who resided in Jacksonville. Jack- 
 sonville circuit was then a large circuit, requiring 
 four weeks to complete the round of appointments. 
 There were two preaching points each Sunday. As 
 this required quite an amount of riding, I procured 
 a young horse of one of the society members, who 
 was a farmer and charged me nothing for the use 
 of the horse, and did my travelling on horseback. I 
 would go on Saturday into the neighborhood of my 
 Sunday morning appointment and stay over night with 
 some member of the society. I would attend the 
 Sunday school on Sunday morning and preach at 
 the morning service, then go to another point and 
 preach in the afternoon. I had no appointment on 
 Sunday night unless it was extra, but I would return 
 to the city Sunday night or early Monday morning 
 to be ready for my college work. I was at that time 
 quite an enthusiastic Sunday-school worker and some- 
 times trained the children in singing. Ability in this 
 direction tended to make a young -preacher more ac- 
 ceptable and popular. I was succeeding very well 
 in my college course and I hoped, by doing extra work 
 during the summer vacation, to complete the cur- 
 riculum in two years. The literary society with whom 
 I 'had united honored me by electing me president., 
 although this honor was almost invariably given to 
 a senior. I was now in my twenty-fifth year and it 
 looked as though I might be able, before I should be 
 thirty years old, to complete both a college and a 
 theological course. I was also succeeding quite satis- 
 factorily in ministerial work. My colleague, the Rev. 
 George Rutledge, was considered one of the best men
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 71 
 
 in the conference as well as one of the best preachers. 
 He and his brother William, of whom I have already 
 spoken, were of poetic temperament and masters of 
 a style of oratory most pleasing to the listener. You 
 would say on hearing either one of them preach that 
 more beautiful and more appropriate language could 
 not be used than came spontaneously from their lips ; 
 and I was amazed to learn that my preaching was as 
 acceptable as was that of Brother Rutledge. It could 
 not compare with his in rhetorical finish, but I suppose 
 it was more fresh and more direct and practical. 
 During vacations I held some revival meetings, and 
 for the first tkne in travelling a circuit, I saw results 
 of my labors in professed conversions. During that 
 winter of 1866-7 we had some quite severe weather 
 and I suffered from cold in riding this large circuit. I 
 had sufficient outside clothing, but did not wear suf- 
 ficient underclothing. As boy and young man I had 
 worn no underclothing and this was the common habit 
 among the common people. One morning in January, 
 1867, I arose at Arcadia, a village eight miles north 
 of Jacksonville and started about sunrise to ride to 
 that city. It was very cold, the mercury standing below 
 zero, and a deep snow was on the ground. I rode 
 swiftly, but when within about two miles of the city, 
 I found my lower limbs becoming quite devoid of 
 feeling on account of the cold and I dismounted to 
 walk and lead my horse. He was unaccustomed to 
 being led and I made slow progress, and I really 
 feared that I should be frozen before reaching the 
 fire. I, however, escaped that calamity but was careful 
 to provide myself with warmer clothing thereafter. 
 It took me several years to become acclimated to Illi-
 
 72 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 nois, the prairie winds being a new experience and 
 causing several attacks of bilious fever. I found 
 it necessary to protect myself with underclothing both 
 summer and winter. As I have intimated, the pros- 
 pect of success seemed to open up before me, and 
 I had good reason to hope for the fulfillment of my 
 ambitious dreams. It is said, " Man proposes, but 
 God disposes." While the prospect looked so roseate, 
 a sudden calamity fell upon me. I was taken with 
 inflamed sore eyes; I could not tell where the disease 
 was contracted or how, but it was a severe case. This 
 was in the early spring of 1867. For weeks I was 
 almost blind, though I continued to attend to my 
 duties on the circuit, but study was impossible, and 
 for two years I was able to read but for a few minutes 
 at one time. This cut short my college career and 
 blasted my hopes for a theological course. I have 
 no doubt that this seeming calamity was a great mercy 
 to me, and intended for my rescue. As Wesley has 
 written in that beautiful hymn: 
 
 The troubles that come, 
 
 Shall come to our rescue, and hasten us home. 
 
 In the month of August, 1867, I was taken sick of 
 bilious remittent fever. I was at the time boarding 
 with a Mrs. Allen, a widow of a Methodist preacher, 
 who had been a member of the Southern Illinois Con- 
 ference. Her boarding house was on State street, 
 one block east of the public square. I was seriously 
 ill from the first and had no one to take care of 
 me. Being a member of a Sons of Temperance lodge, 
 my case was promptly reported and a young man, who
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 73 
 
 was a member of that order and also a Methodist, 
 took it upon himself to look after my welfare. The 
 members of my charge were living in the country 
 and would not hear of my condition for several days 
 at least. This young man nursed me each alternate 
 night and secured someone to do the same the inter- 
 vening nights. He also provided ice and other com- 
 forts and visited me every day. My fever was highest 
 at night so that sleep was impossible during the night. 
 I lay in a room between the dining room on one side 
 and the public parlor on the other. The flies were 
 numerous and I had no one to keep them off during 
 the day; and what with the noise and the flies, I got 
 scarcely any sleep or rest in the daytime and I grad- 
 ually grew worse. The parsonage of the Centenary 
 M. E. Church was near at hand across the street, and 
 the wife of the pastor heard of my sickness. The 
 pastor was Dr. Phillips, afterward president of the 
 State Asylum for the Blind. Mrs. Phillips visited 
 me and told me I would die if I stayed where I was. 
 She kindly offered to take me into her house and take 
 care of me. My young friend, before mentioned, had 
 me removed to the parsonage and I soon began to 
 mend; but it was several months before I fully re- 
 covered. However, in a few weeks, I resumed my 
 ministerial duties. 
 
 Though I had been elected president of the Sigma 
 Pi literary society, I had never presided at a session 
 of the society 'as it did not meet during the summer 
 vacation, and before the fall term began I was con- 
 vinced of the impossibility of my continuing my studies 
 and resigned the office. I acted as president but on 
 one occasion. The two literary societies in the college.
 
 74 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 the Sigma Pi and the Phi Alpha in alternate years 
 employed eminent persons to deliver public lectures, 
 and used the proceeds, if any remained over expenses, 
 for the benefit of the society libraries. This year it 
 was our turn and the Hon. Chas. Sumner was secured 
 to deliver a lecture for our benefit. As president of 
 the society it was my duty to introduce him to the 
 audience, which I did. I also attended the society 
 banquet given at one of the principal hotels of the 
 city, and there obtained a clearer view of the advan- 
 tages of education and of the help to be derived from 
 college associations. They did not prove any ad- 
 vantage to me, but it was through my own free renun-i 
 ciation of them. At the close of the conference year 
 which was in September, the official board of Jackson- 
 ville circuit asked me to continue another year as 
 junior preacher on the circuit and proposed to raise 
 my salary to five hundred dollars. The preacher in 
 charge, Rev. George Rutledge, had received twelve 
 hundred dollars per year and- the use of the parsonage, 
 which he did not use, as he owned a house in the 
 city, but which he rented for three hundred dollars. 
 That made his salary fifteen hundred dollars and mine 
 three hundred. The officials said the disparity was too 
 great as my preaching was as acceptable as his and I 
 had held as many extra meetings. So they proposed 
 to take two hundred dollars off his salary and add it 
 to mine. The Rev. George was a good friend of mine 
 but this was a heavier tax on his friendship than it 
 would bear. He strenuous./ objected to the arrange- 
 ment ; and as I was not a member of the conference, 
 but a supply, and had no influence in the conference, 
 he had another young man, who was a member of the
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 75 
 
 conference and who was satisfied with three hundred 
 dollars, appointed in my place. I had never com- 
 plained of my salary nor asked for an increase. The 
 official board were actuated simply by a sense of justice 
 in their proposal. Moral: See how these Methodist 
 preachers love one another ! But God looks after the 
 interests of the widow and the orphan and the simple 
 minded who are not able to look out for themselves. 
 Dr. Peter Akers was made Presiding Elder of the 
 district in the place of Dr. Peter Cartwright. He 
 came back from conference looking for a " supply '' 
 for a new charge which had but recently been created 
 in the city of Jacksonville, arid which was as yet 
 without a house of worship. He asked me to become 
 pastor of this society and I accepted the place. I 
 think I had the honor of naming it " Brooklyn " charge 
 because of its being situated south of the brook which 
 crosses the city from east to west. The official board 
 allowed me a salary of seven hundred dollars, and I 
 was not at the expense of keeping a horse, nor did I 
 need to ride through the heat or cold to reach my 
 appointments. During the previous summer I had 
 become acquainted with a small band of people, mostly 
 Methodists, who met every Tuesday afternoon in what 
 they called a " Holiness " meeting. I remember that 
 the widow of Richard Yates, Senior, the war governor 
 of Illinois, and the mother of the late Governor Yates, 
 often met with them. I became a regular attendant 
 of these meetings and many of these " Holiness " 
 people, as they were called, became members of my con- 
 gregation and the society became distinctively a " Holi- 
 ness " church. I will digress here to say a few words 
 concerning Dr. Akers. He was, at this time, about
 
 76 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 eighty years old, about the same age as Dr. Cart- 
 wright, but unlike him in most particulars. He was 
 a well educated man, having been for years president 
 of McKendry College; a deep thinker and an able 
 preacher even yet in his extreme age. He was gentle 
 in his manners, without self-assertion and was uni- 
 versally esteemed and beloved. He wrote and pub- 
 lished a work on Chronology, which was too profound 
 to be generally understood or appreciated, but was 
 commended by the experts in that science. I have no 
 doubt that he was the most able man intellectually 
 that ever belonged to the Illinois Conference, up to 
 that time. Shortly after I became pastor of Brooklyn 
 charge, we began planning to build a house of worship, 
 and some of the burden of raising the funds was laid 
 upon me. I never was of any account as a beggar. I 
 remember that I was sent to " Uncle Billy Stroebling " 
 as he was popularly called. He was the Rev. William 
 Stroebling, who lived outside the city within the bounds 
 of Jacksonville circuit. He was a remarkable char- 
 acter and most unique. He owned 640 acres of land 
 just outside the city limits and was not celebrated for 
 his generosity or liberality. He was usually dressed 
 in clothes of a bygone age, but was most remarkable 
 for his vocabulary. He never used a small word when 
 a large one could be pressed into service. Dr. Samuel 
 Johnson was celebrated for his stilted style, but 
 Brother Stroebling out-Johnsoned Johnson. The 
 clerks in the stores never knew what he wanted by the 
 language he used in calling for an article. He was 
 thought to be a great preacher because no one could 
 understand him. To give you an idea of this eccen- 
 tricity of his, I will give you the language he used at
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 77 
 
 table as reported to me by the hostess herself. " Sister, 
 please pass a portion of that nutritious aliment for 
 which it is enjoined upon us to make diurnal supplica- 
 tion." In short, that is, " Please pass the bread." I 
 had very moderate success in getting a donation for the 
 new meeting house out of " Uncle Billy." The chapel 
 was built that fall and though not completed inside 
 or outside, was available for holding services in. The 
 next summer the interior was finished, but the towers 
 were not completed until after I left the charge, nor 
 was the house dedicated until later.
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 A NEW EXPERIENCE AND MY MARRIAGE. 
 
 I am now approaching the crisis of my life experi- 
 ence, the determining factor of my religious career. 
 
 In the autumn of 1867 I was twenty-six years old, 
 and as my college course was cut short, I began to 
 think seriously of marriage. Up to this time the desire 
 to finish my education had been a bar to matrimony, 
 unless I should marry a fortune. It is true some 
 opportunities of this nature appeared to be thrown in 
 my way but they did not appeal to me. But now I 
 was free to seek a wife. If I were to continue in the 
 Christian ministry, it was much better to be married 
 than single, provided I had a suitable wife. I had 
 another great need of which I was sensible, and that 
 was a right heart. I realized this only dimly, however. 
 I had met and became slightly acquainted with a Meth- 
 odist preacher, by the name of Adam Clark Armen- 
 trout, an able preacher and a holy man. I had talked 
 with him several times upon the subject of holiness 
 or sanctification with reference to my personal ex- 
 perience, but he acted as though he thought I was not 
 serious about the matter, and gave me little satis- 
 faction. He probably judged me by my dress, as I 
 was tasty and particular in my apparel and may have 
 appeared foppish to him. But you cannot always tell 
 what is in a man's heart by what is on the outside of 
 
 78
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 79 
 
 him. I also had made some claims to an experience 
 of holiness of heart, but was not at all satisfied with 
 that experience. In January, 1868, Brother Armen- 
 trout, who was stationed at Winchester, 16 miles from 
 Jacksonville, sent for me to assist him in a series of 
 meetings. He had already been two years in the 
 charge and had done a good work there, a number 
 of his flock having -been saved from sin, as also some 
 in other congregations. He said he had sent for me 
 to preach to sinners outside of the " church," . which 
 he could not do over the heads of sinners on the in- 
 side. This was not particularly complimentary to my 
 spiritual state, but I was not offended. I was willing 
 to be used to pull his chestnuts out of the fire. I had 
 heard of a young woman in Brother Armentrout's con- 
 gregation, a teacher .in the public schools of Win- 
 chester, and a graduate of Jacksonville Female College, 
 who had been saved from sin through his labors. I 
 had never seen her, and knew nothing about her per- 
 sonal appearance, but she was highly spoken of, and 
 I imagined that she might make a suitable wife for a 
 Methodist preacher. I went to Winchester on Friday 
 and preached on that night, Saturday night, and twice 
 on Sunday, and on Monday night, returning to Jack- 
 sonville on Tuesday. The influences about me were 
 such as to make preaching easy, and Brother Armen- 
 trout remarked to me that I was an abler preacher than 
 he had supposed, as he had never heard me previously. 
 I put up at the parsonage during my stay, and sister 
 Armentrout soon began talking to me of the young 
 woman I have mentioned. Miss Nannie Burnett. She 
 had lost her position in the public school of the city 
 because of her religious professions, and was teaching
 
 80 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 in the country, and did not reach town until Saturday. 
 She and the pastor's wife were intimate friends and 
 Mrs. Armentrout did not fail to sing her praises. I 
 said little and did not show much interest in the sub- 
 ject. Miss Burnett came to visit Mrs. Armentrout, 
 and I met her and had a short conversation with her. 
 I found her a small, delicate looking lady of rather 
 prepossessing appearance, quite ladylike and modest. 
 I was quite favorably impressed with her looks. Her 
 health was delicate, however, and she was not really 
 able to teach a country school. She left Monday 
 morning for her school, I meanwhile having met her 
 a few times in the meetings and having spoken but a 
 few words to her. I noticed, however, that her hand 
 trembled as she shook hands with me in bidding me 
 " good-bye." I enjoyed the meetings and was much 
 impressed with the spirituality of some of the people. 
 My resolutions to be a whole hearted Christian were 
 much strengthened. After the last service on Mon- 
 day night, January 29, 1868, Brother Armentrout and 
 I sat and talked matters over. He asked me what I 
 meant to do. I told him I meant to preach the whol 
 gospel of salvation from sin. He presented what dis- 
 couragements he saw lying before me if I carried out 
 such a purpose. He told me that likely the conference 
 would not receive me if I kept my resolutions. I 
 said that would make no difference. This prophecy 
 afterwards came true. He said it would not surprise 
 him if they excommunicated me. I scarcely thought 
 that probable, but declared that it would not alter my 
 purpose. Then he remarked that a man needed a 
 great deal of the anointing of the Holy Spirit to 
 preach a real gospel. I replied that I was convinced
 
 S. R. Harshman at Age of 
 Twenty-six Years.
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 1 
 
 of that and that I did not have this anointing, " but," 
 I asked, " what would you do under such conditions? " 
 He replied, " I would obey God and trust Him for 
 the anointing." I said that was what I would do. 
 As it was late, we rose to retire to bed. He lighted 
 me to my room and started back to the sitting room, 
 but turned again and exclaimed, " Brother Harshman, 
 I bless God I ever saw you," and his countenance shone 
 as he spoke. I went into my room and began to pre- 
 pare for bed ; I had fully made up my mind to obey 
 the Lord and to trust Him for the necessary grace 
 and fitness. I was not long kept waiting for the ful- 
 fillment of this promise. As was my habit, I knelt by 
 my bedside to pray before lying down. I was not 
 asking the Lord to save me, though I was trusting 
 Him to do so in His own good time. Suddenly, as 
 I knelt, the Holy Spirit fell upon me in wonderful 
 power. My whole being was illuminated and en- 
 tranced. I was filled with joy and a sense of God's 
 presence. I did not feel like shouting or making any 
 noisy demonstration ; my happiness was indescribable, 
 it was rather, 
 
 " The prostrate awe that dares not move 
 And all the silent heaven of love." 
 
 I had a vivid sense of the fact that my nature was 
 made pure; that there was nothing within me that 
 was offensive to Infinite Purity. God had purged me 
 with hyssop and I was clean ; He had washed me and 
 I was whiter than snow. For the first time in my ex- 
 perience, I was wholly delivered from the fear of 
 death. The thought of death was joyous.
 
 82 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 " A love surpassing far 
 The love of all beneath 
 I found within my heart, and dared 
 The pointless darts of death." 
 
 I seemed to be in heaven, it seemed all about me and 
 within me, I could fear nothing. I thought of Brother 
 Armentrout and realized for the first time what 
 it was to " love the brethren." I never had felt such 
 love for any human being. It seemed to me that it 
 would be a pleasure to lay down my life for him ; 1 
 wanted to go to him and tell him how I loved him. 
 But I was restrained by the thought that he was prob- 
 ably asleep and I did not wish to disturb him, and 
 that it would keep until morning. I had no .impulse 
 to do anything extravagant or indecorous or absurd, 
 and I have ever since then had doubts of the origin 
 of such impulses. I do not believe that they come 
 from the Holy Spirit, Who is a God of order, pro- 
 priety and decorum. The spirit of Christianity is the 
 " spirit of love and of power, and of a sound mind." 
 Love " doth not behave itself unseemly." I finally 
 fell asleep and did not awake until morning. When 
 I awoke the ecstasy of feeling was gone, but I felt 
 clearly the change which had taken place in me and 
 did not hesitate to speak of it. The change in me 
 had changed the aspect of many things ; I saw them 
 with different eyes. I returned to Jacksonville that 
 day, it being Tuesday, and went to the Holiness 
 Meeting that afternoon and told the people what great 
 things the Lord had done for me, and they rejoiced 
 with me. But many whom I had regarded as my 
 friends, both among preachers and laity, looked at me
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 83 
 
 askance and with suspicion; and I soon found that 
 Satan was not favorably disposed toward me any 
 more than his friends were. Persecution began which 
 has continued up to the present time. I at once began 
 the consideration of the marriage problem. I learned 
 before I left Winchester that it was currently re- 
 ported that Miss Burnett and I were to be married. 
 I am pleased to think that the people discerned in 
 this match the " eternal fitness of things," but they 
 reached that conclusion ahead of me. However, I 
 soon made up my mind to the same effect, and im- 
 mediately wrote the lady proposing correspondence 
 with a view to matrimony. She was at the time re- 
 ceiving the attentions of another young man who 
 lived in Winchester. When she came home from the 
 country the following Saturday, Brother Shearer, her 
 foster father, had a note for her from this young 
 man and also a letter from me. He handed her the 
 note, but said nothing about the letter. She glanced 
 at the note and saw whom it was from and im- 
 mediately asked, "where is the other one?" He 
 handed it to her, and on reading it, she remarked, 
 " that suits me." I visited her once in March and 
 for the first time we saw each other alone. We 
 were married on Easter Sunday, the 12th of April, 
 1868, in the M. E. meeting house, Brother A. C. Ar- 
 mentrout officiating. He preached that morning from 
 a peculiar text of scripture, found in Solomon's Song, 
 2nd Chapter, 8th to 13th verse. I will not quote it, the 
 reader may read it for himself in the Bible if he 
 wishes to know what it is. At the close of the sermon 
 we stepped forward in front of the pulpit and a short 
 marriage ceremony was performed just before the
 
 84 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 closing prayer. I had procured a carriage and had 
 driven down from Jacksonville on Saturday and in- 
 tended to return on Monday with my wife, but she 
 was . not feeling well enough to make, the trip and 
 we postponed our return until Tuesday. My friends 
 in Jacksonville had prepared a surprise for me on my 
 return; they had prepared an elaborate wedding feast 
 without a hint to me of their intention, and they were 
 much chagrined at our non-appearance to grace the 
 feast, and subjected themselves to a little ridicule by 
 their discomfiture, and were not feeling in the best 
 of humor when we returned on Tuesday. The dinner 
 as a surprise was a complete success, as every one 
 concerned was in some way surprised. During my 
 wife's illness on the Monday after the wedding, I 
 had an experience which I will here relate. She 
 suffered from an ailment which often attacked her 
 and was enduring considerable pain. As she lay on 
 a couch and I sat beside her witnessing her suffering, it 
 occurred to me to pray for her relief. The suggestion 
 seemed reasonable, and I silently lifted my heart in 
 a petition to God for help. I was surprised to realize 
 immediate access to God, and to feel an assurance of 
 being heard. I waited a few minutes and then asked 
 my wife how she felt. She replied, " the pain is all 
 gone " ; and after examining herself, " and the sore- 
 ness is all gone, also." She was completely relieved 
 and never afterward had a repetition of the attack. 
 Then in my ignorance, I jumped to a conclusion that 
 many more experienced and wiser men have arrived 
 at: viz, that because God healed once in answer to 
 prayer, He would always heal, and that there was 
 no need of a Christian's being sick. It seemed such
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 85 
 
 an easy matter to be healed ; but experience soon 
 taught me my mistake. It is not always possible to 
 offer the prayer of faith for the healing of the sick. 
 Such experiences are the exception and not the rule. 
 I might just as well expect that my building would 
 always be protected from lightning strokes, tornado's 
 blast or the ravages of fire, or that my crops might 
 never feel the effects of frost or drought or suffer 
 from the effects of insect pests. God's people are still 
 subject to natural evil and will be until their bodies 
 and this earth are redeemed from the curse pro- 
 nounced upon disobedient Adam. The Lord will in 
 special cases deliver us from these evils when He 
 sees it to be for His glory and our good in answer 
 to the prayer of faith. The time and place is in His 
 will and not in ours. 
 
 My wife and I obtained board and lodging with a 
 family by the name of Lacy. Mr. Lacy was a man 
 who had inherited some wealth but, by extravagance 
 and poor business methods, was squandering it. His 
 wife was a member of my congregation. I had en- 
 tirely recovered from the effects of my attack of 
 bilious fever the previous summer, though it had taken 
 months to do so, and was enjoying robust health. My 
 weight was greater at this time than ever before or 
 since. I enjoyed my work, but I found some draw- 
 backs, and many temptations. I found it necessary 
 for me to revise my former conception of Christianity 
 in many respects. I had always supposed the essence 
 of religion to subsist mostly in the emotions, and that 
 the great aim of a Christian was to be happy, to 
 enjoy ecstasy of feelings. I expected as a result of 
 my new experience to be constantly exhilarated and
 
 86 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 filled with the spirit of rejoicing, and I was astonished 
 to find myself often in heaviness and discouraged 
 and cast down. At one time I was visiting at Brother 
 B. R. Rucker's and, feeling much perplexed and wor- 
 ried, Sister Rucker asked me if I ever sought counsel 
 or comfort from the Lord by opening the Bible and 
 expecting a message from the first passage my eyes 
 might light upon. I told her I had never done such 
 a thing. She said she often did, and she volunteered 
 to ask something from the Lord to comfort me. She 
 took her Bible and retired into another room. Shortly 
 she returned and handed me the Bible to open at 
 random, so to speak. I opened it and the first passage 
 my eye fell upon was in Isaiah XLI, Chapter 10th to 
 16th verses. This language was most powerfully ap- 
 plied to my soul so that it seemed -that the Lord had 
 spoken to me directly from heaven. It melted me to 
 tears and filled me with courage and hope. I had 
 been quite particular about my dress, and I now found 
 myself troubled about the matter. I saw the necessity 
 of plainness of apparel. I had never worn rings, 
 gold chains or things of that nature. My conscience 
 was very tender and Satan was ready to take ad- 
 vantage of this to torment me about trifles. I dis- 
 carded neckties and have never since worn them, 
 though I lay down no such rule for others. I cru- 
 cified my taste in dress hoping in these things to 
 please God. I was sincere, but probably in some 
 things mistaken. I felt it laid upon me to kneel down 
 as soon as I entered my seat in a religious meeting; 
 soon others followed my example and it became sort 
 of a distinguishing mark of the Holiness people in 
 Jacksonville. At first it was a cross to do this ; but
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 87 
 
 soon the novelty wore off and it ceased to be a cross, 
 and then I felt it laid upon me to quit this practice. 
 This was a greater cross than the other, as it had 
 the appearance of retrograding; however, I did what 
 I felt to be my duty. Methodist preachers were in 
 the habit of kneeling as soon as they entered the 
 pulpit. I saw that this was often, if not usually, done 
 from habit and that it smacked of vain religious show 
 and hypocrisy. I had to quit the practice. These 
 matters are of no importance in themselves, but only 
 as they are used to instruct and discipline the child 
 of God. In August of that year, 1868, the Western 
 Holiness Association held a camp-meeting near Wil- 
 liamsville, Illinois, and a number of the members of 
 my congregation attended it. My wife and I attended 
 also ; in fact, all the so-called holiness preachers of 
 the conference were there, though that was but a small 
 number. There was quite a large attendance at this 
 meeting, and it became quite a means of education 
 to me on account of my short experience in the work. 
 The Rev. Hardin Wallace of Jacksonville, who was 
 in poor health had professed sanctification during the 
 summer, but was not at the meeting, probably because 
 of sickness. During the summer his brother, Rev. 
 Henry Clay Wallace, who was stationed at Petersburg, 
 111., had invited me to visit that town and preach on 
 the subject of holiness. My wife and I went and 
 during our stay Hardin Wallace had visited his brother. 
 He was so cautious and conservative that it tended 
 to muzzle my freedom of speech and I became dis- 
 couraged and disgusted and ran away from the work. 
 I was quite outspoken and bold, and possibly my zeal 
 was not always tempered by knowledge ; but I could
 
 88 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 not endure any shackles on my liberty of thought and 
 speech. I was advised to be careful lest I might injure 
 the " church " by my outspokenness, but my aim was 
 to speak God's truth and let the " church " take care 
 of itself. I had no respect for a church that could 
 be injured by the truth faithfully spoken. This 
 brought me into conflict with the ecclesiastical au- 
 thorities and brought down upon my devoted head 
 the vials of their wrath. At the holiness camp-meeting 
 a Methodist minister by the name of W. H. Rayburn 
 was in attendance. He was at this time, I think, pastor 
 on Williamsville circuit. There were rumors afloat 
 that his conduct was not above reproach ; and that his 
 relations with a Mrs. Redfield, the widow of a Free 
 Methodist preacher, were not what they should be. 
 She was also at this meeting. She was a woman of 
 unusual ability and forcefulness, but considerably 
 older than Mr. Rayburn, who had been an 'acceptable 
 preacher, of good abilities, fine address and a beautiful 
 voice both for speaking and singing. I could find no 
 substantial basis for these reports, and thought they 
 might be slanders set afloat to injure a good man. I 
 decided to suspend my judgment of the man until I 
 could be better informed, as that was what I would 
 wish others to do in my case. But the Jacksonville 
 holiness people were determined to reject him on mere 
 suspicion and rumor, and fell out with me because I 
 would not do so. I was afterwards compelled to re- 
 ject him because the rumors proved to be founded 
 on facts. The meetings continued over two Sundays. 
 There was a number of good people there and some 
 who were inclined to fanatical practices. Most of 
 those who encamped on the grounds were Methodists
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 89 
 
 though the Association was itself undenominational. 
 This movement, though it promoted the spread of a 
 Methodist doctrine, the Wesleyan theory of sanctifi- 
 cation, was looked upon with suspicion by the eccle- 
 siastical authorities of the M. E. denomination, as they 
 distrusted the loyalty of the Methodists engaged in 
 it. Their opposition and their hostility tended to pro- 
 duce the result they feared. There was scarcely 
 enough vitality in the movement to have produced a 
 schism if it had been treated with toleration. And 
 even hostility drove but comparatively few out of the 
 fellowship of that sect. I said some things in preaching 
 and testimony at this meeting that provoked the wrath 
 of the Methodist authorities. Among other things, 
 at a love feast and testimony meeting on Sunday 
 morning when a large congregation was present, after 
 having the Methodist " church " lauded " ad nauseum " 
 as the agent, under God, of the salvation of the 
 speakers, I arose and declared that I thanked God that 
 He had saved me in spite of the Methodist Church. 
 This statement gave mortal offense, and the rod was 
 at once put in pickle for me. After our return to 
 Jacksonville there ensued a coolness between me and 
 the official board of the society resulting from our 
 difference of opinion which had arisen at the camp- 
 meeting, and they resolved to bring me to terms. As 
 I was one day walking the streets, I felt suddenly 
 a sense of pressure on soul and body which was so 
 severe as to take away my strength and make my 
 knees quake. I could not imagine what the cause 
 might be as I was in my usual health, and had had 
 no similar feelings before this. I walked on until 
 I arrived at the grocery store of Brother Leo. C. Ebey,
 
 90 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 who was one of the stewards of Brooklyn church. He 
 called to me and informed me that the members of 
 the official board of the church wished to have a 
 conference with me and were to meet at once at a 
 point designated where we would not be interrupted. 
 I started at once for the place of meeting. I now 
 knew the cause of my strange attack ; Satan was en- 
 deavoring to disqualify me for the trial awaiting me. 
 As I walked along I cried to God for help. I felt 
 as though I had no strength to withstand anything. 
 Soon I began to feel relief, and strength began to rise 
 in soul and body so that before reaching the appointed 
 place of meeting I felt, with David, " By my God 
 I can run through a troop ; by my God I can leap over 
 a wall." I felt bold, fearless, and independent. When 
 we met, the brethren appeared to he confused and 
 hesitant, and no one seemed willing to state the object 
 of the meeting, but deferred to the others. After 
 enjoying their confusion for a short time, I told them 
 that I thought I could state the object of the con- 
 ference. They then told me that they had decided 
 that if I would not recede from the stand taken by 
 me at the camp-meeting, they, as the official board 
 of the society, would refuse to give me recommendation 
 for admission to conference, and for local deacon's 
 orders. I told them that those matters were con- 
 secrated so far as I was concerned, and that I did not 
 care a fig what they did or did not do in the matter ; 
 that I had done what I had believed to be right, and 
 that I was still of the same mind, and could not be 
 bought off or intimidated. This ended the conference. 
 In a short time the quarterly conference of the charge 
 met and without any request on my part they gave
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 91 
 
 me both recommendations and continued my firm 
 friends afterward. I have just lately (Feb. 1910) 
 visited Brother Leo. C. Ebey in Hermon, California, a 
 suburb of Los Angeles, where he is living retired at 
 the age of eighty-three, having for years been a 
 preacher in the Free Methodist denomination, but at 
 present is connected with no sect. The other members 
 of that official board are all dead, I believe. In Sep- 
 tember 1868, my wife and I attended the annual ses- 
 sion of the Illinois Conference at Quincy, Illinois. I 
 took with me a recommendation for admission to 
 conference as a probationer, and a recommendation 
 for ordination as a local deacon. This could be con- 
 ferred on any local preacher who had been licensed 
 for four years. If I had had a presiding elder to push 
 my claims, the result might have been different, but 
 Dr. Akers had no ability of that kind and though 
 highly respected, he had little influence on conference 
 business. My enemies among the preachers opposed 
 my ordination on the ground of my disloyalty to the 
 church and my radicalism. One old preacher re- 
 marked that they would first take some of the young 
 America out of the young man. I did not offer my 
 recommendation for admission to the conference, so 
 that was not refused me. This left the door open 
 for my employment as a supply, the capacity in which 
 I had been laboring. And before the conference 
 closed, Elder Travis, the Presiding Elder of the 
 Decatur District, offered me the position of supply 
 pastor of the M. E. society at Arcola, Illinois. He 
 said that I might get them all sanctified if I wished 
 to as they needed something very much. I also needed 
 work very much, so I accepted the place. On my
 
 92 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 arrival in Arcola, I found that the Presiding Elder 
 had not exaggerated in his description of the condition 
 of things ; affairs were truly in a lamentable state. 
 Many members had been admitted who had never 
 professed conversion, among these were some of the 
 leading members of the society. The class leader 
 claimed to be back-slidden, and the only doubt on this 
 point was whether he had ever had anything to, slide 
 back from. The most influential member of the so- 
 ciety was Alonzo L. Clark, a banker in the town. He 
 was a young man of about my age, of fine business 
 abilities and an excellent man. He was also a man of 
 fine personal appearance and generally liked. He and 
 I soon became fast friends and he supported me in 
 my work with great zeal. The society had been un- 
 fortunate in the men who had been pastors over them 
 for several years. They had not been spiritual men 
 and had looked after the temporalities more than after 
 the spiritual interests of the society. I began at once 
 preaching repentance. The rrfembers took my 
 preaching very well for a while, but soon became 
 restive as I still insisted on repentance. They began 
 to complain and to demand something else. So I took 
 for my text one day the language of Isaiah (Isaiah 
 30:10) " Prophesy not unto us right things, speak unto 
 us smooth things, prophesy deceits." I told the con- 
 gregation that I should like to speak upon other sub- 
 jects ; that I should like to tell them about heaven, and 
 how happy they would be when they reached there, 
 but I feared they would never reach heaven without a 
 great spiritual change. They saw my point of view, 
 and some of the society fell in with it, while others 
 resented it. Thus a conflict was brought on which
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 93 
 
 continued during my stay with them. In the first 
 part of December I began a series of meetings which 
 continued without interruption for sixteen weeks. 
 There was preaching every night except Saturday 
 night of each week and the regular services on Sunday. 
 Also social meetings each afternoon. I was young 
 and strong and could endure almost any amount of 
 physical and mental labor, and I did not spare myself. 
 I did all the preaching during the meeting except for 
 the assistance of Brother W. B. M. Colt for about a 
 week and three or four other sermons. I also led the 
 singing and did considerable public praying. The 
 meetings became quite interesting and excited a good 
 deal of comment in the country round about. Its in- 
 fluence extended beyond the borders of the Methodist 
 society, and the Presbyterians and " Campbellites " 
 found it necessary to start meetings in self protection. 
 But they could not hold out long enough ; their 
 preachers would wear out and quit. One of them 
 expressed a wonder that I could hold out so long. 
 When I was informed of his remark, I sent him word 
 that to keep machinery from wearing it must be kept 
 well oiled. These preachers seemed to lack the oil. 
 During the whole time of the series of meetings there 
 was a factional opposition kept up. A local preacher 
 by the name of Shirley was the head of this faction. 
 When it was evident that the meetings were proving 
 a success, these opposing preachers wished to assist 
 in the work to build up the society. They urged 
 this upon me, and I would gladly have had help, but I 
 " feared them when they brought gifts." I knew they 
 were, at heart, enemies to the work of God, so I in- 
 curred their enmity by refusing to let them occupy the
 
 94 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 pulpit. They were free to labor in the meetings other- 
 wise. Just before the close of the revival meetings, 
 the Second Quarterly Conference for the year was 
 held. The Presiding Elder publicly commended the 
 work that had been done and declared the society to 
 be in the best condition he had ever seen it. But a 
 strong effort was made privately by my enemies to 
 have me removed from my pastorate. They said that 
 I would divide the church and ruin things generally. 
 They probably believed what they said, though I had 
 not thought of doing anything of the kind. As the 
 Presiding Elder had taken the responsibility to employ 
 me while I was under the ban of the Annual Confer- 
 ence, it made him afraid of the consequences, thinking 
 he would be blamed if any trouble ensued. And 
 though he was friendly toward me, he had no real 
 sympathy with the work I was doing, and did not in- 
 tend to run any risk of injuring himself in its support. 
 He wrote me a friendly letter telling me that he wished 
 to save me to the church and advising moderation. I 
 was equally frank in my reply and told him that his 
 labor to save me would be in vain, as I was too badly 
 spoiled for any antiseptic that he could apply. I did 
 not wish to leave him in doubt as to my intentions to 
 stand by my principles. 
 
 Meanwhile my wife and I had removed from the 
 hotel where we had boarded for several months, and 
 were staying with Brother David McCord and wife, 
 who had professed salvation in the meetings. They 
 were Presbyterians but .had been reached by the influ- 
 ence of the Gospel I preached. About the first of April 
 I began to notice that my wife had symptoms of 
 mania; the first symptoms I did not recognize. She
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 95 
 
 began to destroy some little trinkets that she had 
 discarded when she professed salvation, as also some 
 of mine. I let her have her way about these things as 
 they were not of much value. But soon she proceeded 
 to destroy articles of clothing; then I saw what the 
 trouble was. Her mania took the form of melancholia, 
 and she was not violent. I was prostrated by the 
 discovery of her condition and could neither sleep nor 
 eat for a time. But I soon saw that this would not 
 do, that God's will must be submitted to, and I was 
 in a short time enabled so to give the matter up to God 
 that He gave me a wonderful deliverance from my 
 burden so that my cheerfulness was restored, and I 
 was better qualified to take care of my wife. As I 
 could not attend to my work as pastor of a congregation 
 and take care of my wife at the same time I decided 
 to resign my charge, which I did promptly. But be- 
 fore writing my letter of resignation, realizing what 
 those who had been saved from sin under my labors 
 would have to endure if they remained in the Metho- 
 dist society, I wrote them letters of dismissal which 
 they could use or not as they should choose. I pro- 
 vided a way of escape for them. This act greatly 
 enraged the M. E. leaders when they found that the 
 net was broken and the prey had escaped. I did it 
 from a sense of duty as their spiritual guide.
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 I LEAVE THE METHODIST SECT. 
 
 I wish, in passing, to contradict a report which has 
 been circulated, to the effect that I was excluded from 
 the Methodist society for immoral conduct. No 
 charges of any character were ever preferred against 
 me while I was a Methodist. Nor was I ever accused 
 so far as I know, of any indiscretion even. This is 
 true of me from the time I united with the Methodists 
 at fourteen years of age until I left them ; and I 
 brand as a vile and malicious slander any statement 
 to the contrary. About the first of April, 1869, after 
 a pastorate of six months, having resigned my charge 
 at Arcola, I took my wife to her people at Winchester, 
 Illinois, that she might be properly taken care of. Her 
 mania was not violent, but she required constant 
 watching day and night. In spite of our vigilance she 
 got hold of a pair of shears and cut off her hair. She 
 had beautiful golden brown hair and quite an abun- 
 dance of it. She refused to recognize her friends and 
 claimed not to know any of them. Her trouble was 
 melancholia, and as frequently happens in such cases, 
 she refused food and had to be forced to take nourish- 
 ment. I would put her to bed and lie in front of her 
 with doors and windows fastened so that she could 
 not leave the room without arousing me. On the 6th 
 of June she was confined with a girl baby, which I 
 
 96
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 97 
 
 named Ruth. She was a tiny child, weighing but 
 three and one-half pounds, but prenaturally bright and 
 intelligent. Her mother before her confinement had 
 longed for apples and I had provided them as long 
 as I could procure them, as they were quite scarce. 
 The child when a few weeks old could smell an apple 
 if it was in the room with her. Her mother refused 
 to recognize her child or to nurse it and we had to 
 provide artificial nourishment for her. She was a 
 delicate child and the prospect of raising her for 
 a while was quite poor. But by good nursing she was 
 kept alive and improved in health. I was able to 
 do but little during the summer of 1869 but take care 
 of my wife. On Sunday I sometimes got away to 
 preach a sermon. In August of that year occurred 
 a total eclipse of the sun, visible in Illinois. It was 
 a very grand spectacle, but I could not persuade my 
 wife to notice it. I had hoped that after her con- 
 finement she would at once recover her reason, but 
 for three months or near that long I could see little 
 improvement in her condition, so I determined to 
 try a change of scene as a remedy and took my wife 
 to Ohio to visit my parents. It was humiliating to 
 be compelled to take her to them in her insane con- 
 dition as they had never seen her as yet. But the 
 hope of her improvement outweighed every other 
 consideration. We started about the first of Sep- 
 tember, going by way of Toledo and Cleveland. In 
 the presence of strangers, my wife was able to con- 
 trol herself and to conceal her condition. I had no 
 trouble with her on the trip, and we arrived at my 
 father's house the second day of the trip. My wife 
 was naturally reserved and reticent except with her
 
 98 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 most intimate friends. She now had nothing to say 
 to any one except to answer an occasional question 
 and for a few days I could see no improvement in 
 her condition and I became discouraged about her and 
 went to the Lord about her case. I seemed to get 
 encouragement from the Lord that she would get 
 well and shortly she began visibly to improve. She 
 took a fancy to my oldest sister and wandered around 
 the orchards and fields with her, talking with her. 
 Her improvement became rapid and in a month after 
 our arrival in Ohio, she seemed about well. I held 
 a number of meetings while at my father's, my wife 
 going with me to the meetings toward the last. My 
 father's youngest brother Ephraim Harshman, who 
 was considered one of the best Methodists in the com- 
 munity, became interested in the preaching and before 
 my return to Illinois was gloriously saved. His sim- 
 plicity after his new experience was remarkable. If 
 he did not understand anything I said while preaching 
 he would interrupt me to ask a question. This morti- 
 fied his relatives. For two or three days after his 
 conversion he was so filled with the presence of God 
 that he could scarcely eat or sleep. He arose one 
 evening in the meeting and told of an occurrence of 
 his past life that troubled him. At one time he and 
 his brother, George, had lived in Pennsylvania. Uncle 
 Ephraim was about to revisit that state when his 
 brother, George W., asked him to take a small sum of 
 money and pay it to a merchant there, to whom he 
 (George W.) owed it. He took the money and on his 
 way to Pennsylvania thought that he would see if he 
 could outwit the merchant, who was a Jew. So when 
 he met the merchant he remarked about his brother
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 99 
 
 owing the debt and asked the Jew if he would throw 
 off a dollar of the amount if he would pay it. The 
 merchant agreed to do so, and he kept the dollar. 
 Now he said he felt that this was not honest and he 
 wished to make reparation. But he said that he was 
 not clear as to whom he owed the money. So to make 
 sure he would repay both of them if he could. He 
 did not know just where the merchant had gone but 
 his brother was present in the meeting. About six- 
 teen years had elapsed and at simple interest the 
 amount had doubled. " Now," said he, " lest the devil 
 should get the advantage of me I have given S. R. 
 the two dollars to keep until I call for it." And 
 coming forward to the pulpit, -he called for the money. 
 I handed it over to him and he offered it to his brother. 
 He did not want to take it, but Uncle Ephraim in- 
 sisted and to close the incident he took it, though un- 
 willingly. He did all this so simply and with as 
 little self-consciousness as a little child. Indeed, he 
 seemed to me the best illustration of what Jesus said 
 about our becoming as little children, that I had ever 
 seen. After about a month's visit with my parents 
 my wife seemed to have recovered her mental balance, 
 and we returned to Winchester, Illinois. Our little 
 girl had been pretty well during our absence, in the 
 care of Brother and Sister Shearer. When I had re- 
 moved to Winchester with my afflicted wife in the 
 spring of 1869, I had withdrawn from the M. E. de- 
 nomination, feeling that I could not labor in that 
 communion without constant friction. I still believed 
 their doctrines, but my preaching of those doctrines 
 gave offense. I insisted too strongly on purity of heart 
 and life; and 1 had lost my zeal for the upbuilding
 
 100 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 of their sectarian interests. I was intent only on 
 building up the kingdom of God. My relation to the 
 Church of Christ was not clear to me ; I seemed to 
 be on the outside. Shortly after going to Winchester, 
 I met Dr. Akers ; he remarked to me, " I understand 
 that you are out of the church." I replied, " Yes, 
 out of the visible church; I am still in the invisible 
 church." He said, " There is no such church." That 
 was a poser to me. The Methodist catechism taught 
 that there is an invisible church, composed of all true 
 believers, but Dr. Akers' opinion had considerable 
 weight with me, and I began to look the matter up in 
 the scriptures. I examined the catechism to find what 
 scriptural proofs were given for the existence of an 
 invisible church. To my surprise, I found some of 
 the same texts of scripture given as proof of an in- 
 visible church as were given for proofs of a visible 
 church. I saw at once that the same passages of 
 scripture could not prove the Church of Christ both 
 visible and invisible. I felt that I had been trifled with ; 
 I could not find a particle of proof in the scriptures 
 of an invisible church. Then, I could not be in it 
 if there was no such thing. I could find a church 
 spoken of that was the " light of the world," but it 
 could not be invisible. I read of one that is " a city 
 set upon a hill that cannot be hid," but it is certainly 
 not invisible. That was the one I wished to belong 
 to if I could find it. Then I began to search for the 
 description of the visible Church of Christ. The 
 M. E. catechism defined it as being " A congregation 
 of faithful men, among whom the pure word of God 
 is preached, and the sacraments duly administered ac- 
 cording to Christ's ordinance." I was willing to accept
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 101 
 
 that definition, and by it to locate the visible church. 
 I found that nearly everything claiming to be the 
 visible Church of Christ fell short of these character- 
 istics. In the first place, I could not find a congre- 
 gation of faithful men. All the congregations within 
 my knowledge were composed mostly or entirely of 
 men confessing themselves unfaithful, very unfaithful. 
 I did not need to judge them, they judged themselves. 
 Then, as a rule, the pure word of God was not 
 preached among them, or they would not have been 
 in this condition. As to the sacraments, I did not 
 know about them ; I did not find the word mentioned 
 in the New Testament. I concluded that being out- 
 side of these congregations of unfaithful men, among 
 whom the pure word of God was not preached could 
 be no great detriment to me, and I decided to stay 
 out. And if I could not find a congregation of faithful 
 men, I would endeavor to gather one. I could find 
 some faithful men and women, but not congregations 
 of them. It soon dawned upon me that these con- 
 gregations of unfaithful men, instead of being visible 
 churches of Christ, were visible synagogues of Satan, 
 and dangerous enclosures for Christians to be found 
 in. I saw that these unfaithful congregations, destitute 
 of spirituality and unity, warring among themselves, 
 constituted spiritual Babylon, and that God was calling 
 His people out of them. I began to perceive the danger 
 of unholy fellowship and to sound the warning. This 
 soon caused the houses of worship to be closed against 
 me and forced me into halls and school houses and 
 groves. Brother A. C. Armentrout had come out 
 from the Methodists about the time when I came out 
 and we often labored together. He was the older
 
 102 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 man, and I recognized him as the leader. I learned 
 from the New Testament that the Church of Christ 
 is a spiritual body and not a carnal organization ; that 
 the Lord Jesus had prescribed no particular form of 
 outward organism, as all acknowledge to be the fact, 
 simply because He did not intend that it should 
 have any such organization; that to organize it pro- 
 motes schism, contention and spiritual death. Having 
 learned that the Church of Christ is a spiritual body, 
 I had some carnal ordinances left on my hands, that 
 I did not know what to do with. I was as much non- 
 plussed what to do with water baptism as Peter 
 was at the house of Cornelius ; and the eucharist, or 
 Lord's supper, was more surplusage. I could not 
 celebrate or practice them until I understood their 
 significance and intention; and I would not repudiate 
 them until I could give sound, conclusive, scriptural 
 reason for so doing. The reasons given for their 
 rejection by the people called Friends, or Quakers, 
 did not seem to me to be conclusive, so I let the 
 question rest there until I found more light. 
 
 Meanwhile, in the autumn of 1869, it seemed proper 
 for my wife and me to go to housekeeping. This 
 was so clearly my duty, that I rented a house in 
 Winchester, with the understanding that we should 
 occupy it in a short time. We had been living with 
 Brother and Sister Shearer, and I felt sure we had 
 burdened them long enough, as my wife was now 
 fully recovered. But we were destitute of means 
 to buy furniture. Brother Armentrout had become 
 discouraged at the outlook for doing good in the face 
 of so much opposition and was about to return to 
 the bosom of the " church (?)." He was much cha-
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 103 
 
 grined because he could not take me back with him 
 and was no longer giving me encouragement, and I 
 was left standing alone. The Rev. W. B. M. Colt, 
 a brother-in-law of Brother Armentrout, had left the 
 Methodists about the time we did, and had gone to 
 the Free Methodists. There were a few brethren in 
 and around Winchester, who were outside of sects, 
 who were generally Brother Armentrout's converts, 
 but they had contributed to my support as well as 
 to his. I let it be understood that I was about 
 to go to housekeeping, but said nothing about my need 
 of help. I had covenanted with the Lord to make 
 my wants known to none but Him, and to trust Him 
 entirely for a support. The Methodist minister in 
 Winchester, who was an old friend, had warned me 
 that this was unsafe and would land me in infidelity. 
 But I replied that God had ordained that those who 
 preached the gospel should live of the gospel, and 
 had declared that if we sought first His kingdom 
 and righteousness, all necessary temporal things should 
 be added, and I believed so strongly that it was true, 
 that I was willing to put it to the test; and if God 
 failed me and I became an infidel, I would then be 
 in his class ; but I would not charge God with t'alse- 
 hood until I had proved Him. The time had about 
 arrived for me to go to housekeeping. I was to take 
 possession of the rented house on Monday of the 
 next week. It was now Saturday and my wife had 
 a small rocking chair and a small table, and I had 
 ten cents in money. Brother Armentrout had a pretty 
 good idea of my dilemma and was much amused at 
 it. None of the brethren or friends had mentioned 
 the matter to me ; yet, notwithstanding the hopeless-
 
 104 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 ness of the outlook, I felt serene and even bouyant. 
 I wonder now as I look back at the circumstances, 
 that I should have felt so confident. I seemed to 
 have the faith the poet wrote of: 
 
 " Faith, mighty faith, the promise sees, 
 
 And looks to that alone; 
 Laughs at impossibilities, 
 
 And cries, ' It shall be done '." 
 
 I knew that something had to occur pretty soon. I 
 went up town on Saturday morning, went to the 
 post-office and received a letter containing eight dollars. 
 This was owed to my wife for a silver watch which 
 she had sold. We purchased with this amount six- 
 teen yards of rag carpet. My wife's health was 
 delicate, and as the floor of the rented house was 
 somewhat open, I knew the carpet was a necessity. 
 I carried the carpet home and returned up town. As 
 I turned the corner on to the public square a friend 
 spoke to me, called me into a doorway, and gave me 
 ten dollars. I started on and before I had gone a 
 block, I met two brethren from the country. They 
 said that they were unable to rest that morning as 
 they remembered that I was about to set up house- 
 keeping, thinking that I might need help ; and they 
 had come to town to see about it. " Now," said they, 
 " what do you need ? " I informed them that I was 
 not allowed to make my wants known. " Well," said 
 one of them, " what have you got ? " That was easy 
 to answer. Suffice it to say that I began house keeping 
 on Monday with sufficient furniture to make us com- 
 fortable, though some of it was second-hand furni- 
 ture, and provisions for some time to come. God did 
 not fail me, though He tried my faith severely.
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 105 
 
 Sometime during the fall or winter Brother Armen- 
 trout returned to the Methodist connection, leaving 
 me alone as leader of the brethren outside of the sects, 
 in that part of the country. His defection was quite 
 a blow to us, and tended to shake the confidence of 
 some. The prospect before us was not flattering. We 
 were few in number, generally poor in purse, and 
 looked upon with general disfavor. The meeting 
 houses had been shut against us, and we had to resort 
 to school houses, halls and private houses for meeting 
 places. Not all of those who had come out of sects 
 for conscience sake, were really saved, and this laid 
 the foundation for trouble and division. However, 
 no serious trouble ensued. We held meetings regu- 
 larly, and I did considerable preaching. During the 
 winter of 1869-70 I received word from the brethren 
 in Arcola of trouble there. The Rev. W. H. Rayburn, 
 a Methodist minister who had once visited Arcola 
 while I was stationed there, had got some wild re- 
 ligious theories, among other things concerning the 
 relation of the sexes, which led to imprudent conduct 
 if not actual immorality. I never understood clearly 
 what his teachings were. Some of the brethren were 
 affected by these false teachings, and others appealed 
 to me for help. My wife and I went to their help, 
 and held some meetings in a private house. Some of 
 the enemies among the Methodists stirred up a feeling 
 of opposition to me, and to such lengths did they 
 carry their ill feeling that the mob spirit developed 
 among the baser sort. I was notified to leave town 
 or take the consequences. I was not yet ready to 
 leave, and though I had no desire to fall into the hands 
 of a mob, and though I make no claim to great
 
 106 -HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 personal courage, I decided to take the consequences, 
 and did not leave on the first train as directed to 
 do. When my enemies found that I would not run, 
 their fierceness cooled off and discretion, the better 
 part of valor, prevailed among them. I procured a 
 public hall and preached in it on Sunday morning and 
 announced that I would leave town that night. I fear 
 there was a little bravado in that announcement, and 
 it was unwise. I should have gone off without giving 
 my enemies notice. The train for the north left about 
 midnight, and while my wife and I and some of the 
 brethren were standing on the platform awaiting 1 it 
 a shower of eggs was thrown at us. The miscreants 
 threw the eggs and then ran, but they were overtaken 
 by some of my friends and their names returned to the 
 next grand jury. But the grand jury refused to in- 
 dict them, thus notifying me that I was outside of 
 the protection of the law. I was untouched by an 
 egg, but my wife's skirt was somewhat soiled by 
 them. 
 
 My mother's youngest brother, Samuel Jones, had 
 removed from Indiana and was on his way to Mis- 
 souri, going by wagon, and had stopped in Homer, 
 Illinois, to spend the winter, and we were intending 
 to visit his family before returning to Winchester, 
 and went directly from Arcola to Homer. It was 
 somewhat humiliating to my wife to meet them in 
 such a plight, but she did not shrink from the ordeal. 
 We made the visit despite the evidences of the parting 
 tribute of the toughs of Arcola. In the spring of 1870 
 I went to Manchester by invitation to hold a series 
 of meetings, my wife and child accompanying me. 
 The Methodists refused me the use of their house,
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 107 
 
 but the Baptists opened their doors to me. I occupied 
 their house for more than a week, preaching each 
 night and twice on Sunday. They kept questioning 
 me about my views on water baptism, but I avoided 
 the subject until light began to percolate into my un- 
 derstanding on that subject. It became quite plain 
 and clear to me that Jesus did not intend that His 
 church should use that ordinance; that it was super- 
 seded by the baptism of the Holy Spirit. When I 
 once got the idea the scriptural proofs began to crowd 
 upon my memory, and I announced that I would 
 preach upon the subject. I thought I would do so in 
 two discourses, but concluded to crowd the matter 
 into one discourse, fearing that the doors would be 
 closed against a second discourse. My fears were- 
 well founded. The Baptist preacher, who had charge 
 of that congregation, had been absent from town, but 
 had returned in time to hear my sermon on baptism. 
 After I closed, he arose and made some very abusive 
 remarks, which of course harmed no person but him- 
 self. It afterward developed that he was at this time 
 a bigamist and he was afterward convicted of bigamy 
 in a court of law. He then went under the name of 
 Wells, one of his assumed names. After this discourse, 
 the Baptists closed their doors against me, which 
 closed the meetings. My sermon on baptism made a 
 deep impression, however, in the community, and 
 many thought I proved my position to be scriptural. 
 During the latter days of the meeting we stopped with 
 a family by the name of Sanders, who were favorably 
 disposed toward the gospel I preached. Meanwhile 
 the measles broke out in their family and we were 
 quarantined and compelled to stay until released by
 
 108 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 the authorities. This exposed our little daughter to 
 the contagion and she soon broke out with the disease. 
 She was so delicate that we had reason to fear the 
 result. The disease progressed favorably for a while 
 until it seemed time for the irruption to begin to dis- 
 appear when it went to her throat and nothing could 
 save her from slow strangulation. She died on March 
 25, 1870, being nine months and nineteen days old. 
 She had not yet been put into short clothes, she was 
 so small, weighing only fourteen pounds at the time 
 of her death. She was a sweet little blossom, soon 
 transplanted from this rough world to bloom in para- 
 dise. We took her body to Winchester and laid it to 
 rest in the cemetery there. 
 
 In April, Nannie and I visited her relatives near 
 Waverly, Illinois. I had never seen any of her near 
 relatives except her youngest sister, Charity, who had 
 married Dr. Ned Metcalf, and then lived at Tallula, 
 in Menard county, Illinois. We visited her uncles, 
 Robert and Jefferson Van Winkle, and her brother-in- 
 law, Matthew Kennedy, whose first wife, Nannie's 
 sister, Mary, had died years before, leaving one child, 
 a daughter. Her brothers had all left Waverly except 
 Isham Burnett, whom we met on the highway. He 
 was about to leave for the southwest. I have never 
 seen any of her other brothers. We also visited her 
 uncle, Isham Burnett, who had been her guardian. 
 Uncle Robert VanWinkle had an ancient colored 
 woman in his family who had once been a slave of 
 his father's in Kentucky. When asked if she knew my 
 wife, she replied, " Yes, its Thirza's gal." Nannie's 
 mother's maiden name was Thirza VanWinkle. 
 Nannie enjoyed this visit among her relatives very
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 109 
 
 much. In the following summer, as the time of her 
 second confinement drew near, she began to show 
 symptoms of a return of mental derangement. I was 
 kept closely at home during the entire summer, and 
 to pass the time and find employment, I raised a large 
 garden. As I spent much time in cultivating it, it gave 
 me large returns. I usually preached on Sundays; 
 we held regular meetings at Brother Shearer's resi- 
 dence. These meetings continued for a number of 
 years every Sunday morning. About the first of Au- 
 gust, my wife's mental condition became such that I 
 had to take her to Brother Shearer's to take care of 
 her properly, and on the first of September she was 
 confined, presenting me with another daughter, but it 
 could not be resuscitated after birth. My wife was 
 also near to death from hemorrhage of the lungs, but 
 finally pulled through. Her mental condition was not 
 nearly so bad as with her first child and she soon 
 recovered her sanity. 
 
 In August of that year I attended a camp-meeting 
 near Lena in Stevenson county, Illinois, which had been 
 appointed by some brethren in that part of the state 
 under the leadership of Lyman H. Johnson, a former 
 Presbyterian minister, who had come out from the 
 Presbyterians and was preaching against sects, and 
 also publishing a little periodical called " The Stumb- 
 ling Stone." A copy of the paper had fallen into my 
 hands and I had a desire to meet the publisher. There 
 were quite a number tented on the grounds, and a 
 fair congregation gathered to hear preaching. But 
 a spirit of fanaticism seemed to dominate the meetings, 
 making it impossible to do much preaching. A few 
 women who imagined they had the wonderful and
 
 110 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 miraculous gift of discernment of spirits, were allowed 
 to have things their own way, and confusion naturally 
 resulted. Mr. Johnson did not seem to know what to 
 do in the matter. I made one attempt to preach but 
 was compelled to desist before I finished. There were 
 some good people present but there was no leader, 
 and no apparent good was done. This meeting was 
 a means of education to me. In the fall Mr. Johnson 
 visited Winchester and preached in the vicinity. In 
 the spring of 1871 we removed to the vicinity of Ar- 
 cola. I thought the brethren there needed my presence 
 among them for a while. We lived in a room of 
 Brother James Schouten's house a mile southwest of 
 Arcola. While visiting Arcola during the winter be- 
 fore moving to the vicinity I engaged to hold meetings 
 in a school house two or three miles east of the town. 
 Two of the school trustees had given their consent 
 for the use of the house, but the third trustee opposed 
 its use by me. So bitter was his opposition that, though 
 a professed Christian, he raised a mob and threatened 
 to keep us out by force. I was staying at the house 
 of his son-in-law, Brother Cooley, at the time. As 
 we were on our way to the meeting place, the mob 
 met us and made so much noise that they frightened 
 Brother Cooley's team, which turned and ran, taking 
 us out of danger. The other two trustees insisted on 
 my going on with the meeting, but I saw there would 
 be a clash and probably somebody injured and I de- 
 clined to proceed further. The old man was also re- 
 turned to the grand jury by the other trustees for his 
 lawlessness, and again the grand jury refused to indict. 
 I held meetings in various places during the summer 
 of 1871. In June, my wife and I attended another
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. Ill 
 
 i 
 
 camp-meeting at Lena, and found things in a better 
 condition than in the previous year. After the meeting 
 we went home with Mr. Johnson, who lived in Illinois, 
 near Beloit, Wisconsin, and visited in his family a short 
 time. I found them living on a forty acre farm of 
 their own, and exercising great frugality in order to 
 save money for the publication of his paper " The 
 Stumbling Stone." While there, he and I" visited in 
 Chicago to attend some meetings in lower Farwell 
 Hall, appointed by Dwight L. Moody for the discussion 
 of various religious topics. There were two sessions 
 of the convention each day and preaching at night. 
 The majority of those interested in the meetings were 
 people called " Plymouth Brethren," who were anti- 
 sectarians and Calvinists of the most pronounced type. 
 I could agree with them in their opposition to sects, 
 but not in their Antinomianism. I had never met such 
 ultra-Calvinists before, and some of their teachings 
 astonished me. When they came to the discussion of 
 " The finished work of Christ " I felt compelled to 
 dissent from their views, and to maintain the doctrines 
 of Free Will and Free Agency. They seemed to argue 
 in a circle and paid no attention, as a rule, to anything 
 said on the other side of the question, nor did they 
 make any attempt to harmonize scripture. They quoted 
 Jesus' words " He that believeth hath everlasting life, 
 and shall not come into condemnation, but is passed 
 from death unto life " to prove that no one who had 
 once believed could ever be lost. I showed them that 
 such an interpretation was absurd, since the following 
 words so interpretated would prove universal damna- 
 tion : " He that believeth not shall not see life, but the 
 wrath of God abideth on him." If one act of faith
 
 112 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 inevitably saved, one act of unfaith inevitably damned. 
 And as God had concluded all under unbelief, then all 
 were inevitably lost. I showed that present faith 
 brought present salvation, and present unbelief brought 
 present condemnation. That future salvation de- 
 pended on continuance in faith, and future damnation 
 upon continuance in unbelief. My arguments seemed 
 to make no impression, however; they seemed im- 
 mune against conviction. Antinomianism is a very 
 subtle and a very dangerous error. Mr. Moody 
 seemed to be in sympathy with this plan of religious 
 teaching and afterward, when he became famous as 
 an evangelist, he taught it, though not in an offensive 
 manner. In order to satisfy my own mind as to this 
 teaching, I put this question to its advocates : " Is 
 a Christian under any obligation to keep God's com- 
 mandments ? " They would not give me a direct 
 reply but one of them, a Congregational minister, from 
 Springfield, Illinois, an able man and a pleasant gen- 
 tleman, said, " Let me answer the brother." He did 
 so by means of this illustration : A certain man, who 
 was crossing the Atlantic Ocean on a steamship, saw 
 on board a slave and his owner. He felt sorry for 
 the enslaved man and approached his master with an 
 offer to purchase his slave. This was agreed to and 
 the transfer was made. Then the new master called 
 the slave and gave to him his freedom. Upon hearing 
 of his freedom, the ex-slave fell down at the feet of 
 his deliverer, exclaiming, " Then am I thy willing 
 slave forever." That is, he owed his deliverer nothing 
 but gratitude. I had supposed that it was the devil's 
 service that salvation delivers us from, and not the 
 service of God. St. Paul calls himself the " slave "
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 113 
 
 (doulos) of Jesus Christ. However, this consequence 
 naturally follows from the Calvinistic view of the 
 atonement. If Christ died and suffered for us all 
 that God requires of us, it cannot be justly exacted 
 a second time. This teaching takes away all incentive 
 for good works; they are useless if not dangerous. 
 It tears them up by the roots. Mr. Moody had a 
 house of worship on Illinois street and he invited me 
 to preach there on Sunday morning, and I complied 
 with his request. Mr. Johnson and I lodged, on 
 Saturday night, in the southern part of the city, 
 with an Episcopal minister of his acquaintance. As 
 it was Sunday morning, we decided to walk up to 
 Illinois street, instead of taking the car. This was 
 a mistake, for the distance was greater than we had 
 thought it, and, though we made haste, we were late, 
 and for the only time in my life that I can remember, 
 I kept a congregation waiting. After preaching, they 
 had communion services; at the conclusion of this 
 service, Mr. Moody took me home with him to dinner. 
 In the afternoon I went with him to his large Sunday 
 school. I thought Mr. Moody a pleasant, agreeable 
 gentleman, unassuming and apparently desiring to 
 learn. He was not a great man intellectually, but he 
 had great zeal. The thing that most impressed me 
 about all his labors was the apparent absence of the 
 Holy Spirit. His zeal and earnestness, his simplicity 
 and plainness of speech, his adhesion to the scriptures, 
 made him popular and famous ; while at the same time 
 there was in his gospel none of the offense of the 
 cross. I am thoroughly convinced that he builded 
 " wood, hay and stubble."
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 CAMP-MEETINGS. 
 
 In August, 1871, I held my first camp-meeting. The 
 site was in Moultrie county, Illinois, about six miles 
 east of Sullivan, on the farm of John Ginn. Early 
 in the spring of that year Brother Lark Delana, who 
 had lived in Sullivan, had brought me to Sullivan to 
 hold some meetings ; I had never been in the place 
 before. It was then a town of 1,000 or 1,200 inhabi- 
 tants, the county seat of Moultrie county. The first 
 family I put up with was that of Lee Birchfield. We 
 procured the use of the court room in the court house 
 in which to hold meetings. The first service was on 
 Saturday night. During the day I had met the Chris- 
 tian Campbellite minister, the Rev. N. S. Bastion, 
 who expressed a wish that, as I was out of the sects, 
 I might find my way into his church. I gave him no 
 reason to hope for such a denouement. I had a fair 
 audience at night and liberty in preaching. My enemies 
 had taken advantage of Mr. Rayburn's teachings in 
 Arcola, before mentioned, to fasten on me the name 
 of " free-lover " although they knew that I had op- 
 posed his teachings. The rumor had preceded me to 
 Sullivan that a free-lover was going to preach and 
 some of the " lewd fellows of the baser sort " had 
 provided themselves with eggs to throw at me as I 
 came out of the court house. But some of my hearers. 
 
 114
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 115 
 
 knowing of this intention, hastened out and informed 
 them of their mistake, and the eggs were not thrown. 
 I appointed the second service for Sunday afternoon 
 when there were no other services in the town. In 
 the morning I went to hear Elder Bastion preach. 
 He had been a leading M. E. preacher and missionary 
 to Africa for that denomination, but failing to make 
 his books balance and being called to account for his 
 delinquency, he had left them and gone to the Baptists 
 and finally to the " Christians." He had published 
 a work called " Babylon in Jehovah's Monarchy " 
 which, though lacking plan and unity, contained con- 
 siderable truth, and which he was now inclined to 
 repudiate. He was a man of considerable ability, but 
 erratic. On this Sunday morning, he attacked spiritual 
 religion. In the course of his remarks he mentioned 
 meeting Brother Delana and me and covertly dis- 
 paraged us. At the close of the service I asked the 
 liberty to make an announcement and published the 
 afternoon service, telling the congregation that I would 
 defend spiritual religion, which had been attacked in 
 the sermon just preached, and invited them to come 
 out to hear me. I had quite a respectable audience 
 at this Sunday afternoon meeting, in which I began 
 a defence of spiritual religion and an attack upon 
 " Campbellism." I continued this attack on Monday 
 and Tuesday nights with large attendance and wrapt 
 attention. The Campbellites were very superior nu- 
 merically to the Methodists and Presbyterians and 
 were correspondingly haughty and intolerant. My 
 attack upon Campbellism pleased these other sects 
 and tended to demoralize the Campbellites. Indeed, 
 so great was the effect of my exposure of the fallacies
 
 116 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 of their doctrines that for a time they were stunned 
 and have never since regained their former ascendancy. 
 At the close of the meeting on Tuesday night the Meth- 
 odists invited me into their house, and on Wednesday 
 night I began holding meetings therein. I had mean- 
 while sent for my wife, who joined me, and we were 
 treated with great courtesy by the leading Methodists 
 of the town and invited to their houses. The meetings 
 continued with large attendance for about two weeks 
 and there was prospect of much good being done. 
 But there was one obstacle in the way. The Methodist 
 pastor, the Rev. Arthur Bradshaw, professed to be 
 in harmony with the work going on, but was an enemy 
 at heart, and all that he said or did in the meetings 
 militated against their success. At length one evening 
 before service he called me into the parsonage and in- 
 formed me that the Presiding Elder, Rev. R. N. 
 Davies had written him to close the house against 
 me. I felt sure that he had solicited such orders. He' 
 asked me to close my series of meetings without giving 
 any reason for so doing. I told him that I would cer- 
 tainly close the meetings in the M. E. house, but 
 would give my reason for so doing and put the re- 
 sponsibility where it belonged. My announcement 
 created quite a sensation; some were made angry and 
 some wept. The trustees volunteered to keep the 
 house open if I would use it, but I could not accede 
 to their offer. The Presbyterians, who had no pastor 
 at the time, offered me the use of their house and I 
 transferred the meetings accordingly. The conduct 
 of Dr. Davies in shutting me out of the Methodist 
 house tended to give me a brief popularity among the 
 outsiders particularly, that was offensive to me, and
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 117 
 
 to avoid this I did something which proved to be a 
 serious mistake. Though the Lord had given me a 
 place to preach where I had nothing to hamper me, 
 I preached a few sermons to large audiences and then 
 closed the meetings, thinking I would return in a short 
 time and resume the work. The Lord had set before 
 me an open door and I failed to appreciate the oppor- 
 tunity. Some persons in Lovington, a small village 
 ten miles north of Sullivan, had invited me to hold 
 meetings there, and I accepted the invitation. The 
 meetings continued two weeks there, but as I was out 
 of the Lord's order, they amounted to nothing, though 
 my wife and I were courteously treated, and at the 
 close I was presented with a purse of one hundred 
 dollars, the only time in my life such a thing occurred. 
 This did not make up for the sense of defeat which 
 I suffered. I did not yet see clearly the mistake I 
 had made, but I felt that something was wrong. It 
 was two or three years afterward before the Lord 
 clearly showed me how I had failed to follow His 
 leading, and how I had suffered many things as a 
 result of my heedlessness. In a short time I returned 
 to Sullivan and to my great surprise I found the open 
 door was shut and barred. Not the door into the 
 house I had vacated, but the door of the hearts of the 
 people ; and it has not been opened again in nearly 
 forty years. It is no doubt true that that door would 
 have been closed eventually if I had stayed and com- 
 pleted the work God had in hand, but much good might 
 have been done meanwhile. This mistake impressed 
 upon me a valuable lesson, and I have never since re- 
 peated it. 
 
 I started awhile since to speak of my first camp-
 
 118 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 meeting, but turned aside to tell of the Sullivan 
 meeting, which antedated the camp-meeting by six 
 months. The camp-meeting was held at the place be- 
 fore mentioned, in the first weeks of August, 1871. 
 Quite a number of brethren and friends tented on the 
 ground, most of them from about Arcola, but some 
 of them from Winchester. Mr. L. H. Johnson was 
 with us over one Sunday. The meeting continued over 
 the second Sunday and was well attended. The Lord 
 was present with us and much impression was made 
 upon the minds and hearts of the people. Though 
 the ultimate results were not great, that is, few really 
 obtained salvation, a number were convinced of the 
 truth of the gospel and were interested for a long 
 time. They had their call though they did not fully 
 respond to it. One family in particular was much 
 affected by the meeting. The head of this family, a 
 Mr. W had formerly been a Methodist of prom- 
 inence but had apostatized and was then a wicked 
 man and a Universalist. He was quite wealthy and 
 very immoral in his conduct. He came to the meetings 
 and became much interested. He came to me to dis- 
 cuss theology, but soon lost interest in the debate. 
 Before the close of the meeting he came to me and 
 proposed to take up a collection for me. I refused 
 my consent to any plan of the kind proposed. I told 
 him if any man wanted to give me anything he could 
 come to me and give it. He was much disappointed 
 and declared that if I would allow him to solicit con- 
 tributions much money could be obtained, but that 
 otherwise I should get but little. I did not doubt 
 that he was correct in his opinion, but I could not 
 ask for money or permit anyone else to ask for me.
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 119 
 
 I received very little at the camp-meeting, but six 
 months afterward the circumstance was recalled to 
 my memory and I realized that I had received more 
 money than in any previous six months in my life, 
 and had not asked for it either. This was contrary 
 
 to any expectation on my part. Old Mr. W was 
 
 much affected by the meetings, broke off all his bad 
 habits, even refusing to loan money at more than legal 
 interest, though he had before taken heavy usury. 
 He attended the meetings in his neighborhood and 
 took part in them and seemed like a new man out- 
 wardly, though he did not profess to be converted. 
 This continued for several years, but he could not 
 consent to give up the world entirely ; and when he 
 had so decided, he gave up the struggle at once, went 
 back to his old habits and died without hope. But 
 he remained my friend to the end of his life. 
 
 In about two weeks after the close of the first 
 camp-meeting, I began another at Miller's Spring, three 
 miles southwest of Sullivan. At this meeting I had no 
 assistance in preaching, but filled all the appointments 
 myself. I preached each day for ten days at 10 :30 
 A. M. and 2:30 and 7:30 p. M. This meeting was also 
 largely attended, and deep impression was made upon 
 the community. It seemed sometimes that a majority 
 of the people would accept the truth and be saved 
 from sin, but after the wayside hearers, the stony- 
 ground hearers, and the thorny-ground hearers were 
 sifted out, but few were left. This process of sifting, 
 however, went on for a number of years before the 
 true harvest was apparent. The gospel, though hated 
 and despised by many, and rejected by the mass, had 
 for years, quite an open door in Central Illinois, and
 
 120 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 many requests were received for laborers, and the 
 more so, since it was understood that the gospel 
 preached was a free gospel. Humanity is always 
 pleased to get something for nothing. I was young 
 and strong and able to endure great labor, and I did 
 not spare myself. I had quite a compliment on my 
 preaching from a U. B. preacher, who then travelled 
 a circuit which included the territory in which the 
 camp-meeting was held. I was told by one who 
 heard him that he told his hearers that I was a 
 dangerous man and would better be avoided by them, 
 though he could listen to me with impunity; that I 
 would state a proposition and then cover it all over 
 with scripture, which was likely to convince them of 
 its truth, but not him, he knew better. I suppose he 
 considered himself immune against argument and logic. 
 That statement was equivalent to the one made by 
 an enemy of the gospel in Winchester, Illinois, " If 
 you do not wish to believe what he says, don't go to 
 hear him." At the close of this meeting, my wife 
 and I returned to our home near Arcola by way of 
 Mattoon, riding on the first railroad train running 
 between Sullivan and Mattoon. Hitherto, Sullivan 
 had no railroad. 
 
 On the 23rd of September, my son Paul was born. 
 He was our third child. When he was four weeks 
 old, we went into the neighborhood of the first camp- 
 meeting and visited the friends and held some meetings. 
 The first week in November we removed to Sullivan. 
 
 Mr. S. H. Morrell, one of Sullivan's prominent 
 citizens, had offered me the use of a small cottage free 
 of rent if I would occupy it. It was in bad condition, 
 scarcely habitable, but I had it repaired, doing the
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 121 
 
 most of the work myself, and we moved into it and 
 began holding social meetings in it, twice each week. 
 These meetings continued to be held with little in- 
 terruption in private houses, with slight exceptions, in 
 my own house, for more than thirty-eight years. The 
 attendance was small at first and of those who at- 
 tended these meetings in the beginning, but three 
 beside myself survive: viz, Brothers L. T. Hagerman 
 and A. P. Powers, and John Williams, now of Decatur, 
 Illinois. In the early winter I held meetings at Dunn, 
 a village five miles west of Sullivan. In the beginning 
 of the next year, 1872, I held meetings at a point in 
 Piatt county. Brother Lark Delana, who had been 
 a Methodist preacher, was acquainted in that section, 
 it having been included in his charge, and he took me 
 up there and introduced me. We were entertained 
 at the home of N. A. Trabue, a farmer of the vicinity. 
 The weather was cold and my wife could not well 
 accompany me, and I was much concerned at leaving 
 her at home, as I was never free from fear of her 
 losing her reason suddenly. We had good meetings 
 in a school house near Mr. Trabue's and for several 
 years afterward I occasionally held meetings in the 
 same neighborhood. 
 
 About this time, or indeed for some time previously, 
 I had been exercised in my mind on doctrinal points. 
 I had accepted and preached the Wesleyan theory of 
 Entire Sanctification or Christian perfection, though 
 never without some doubts and mental reservations. 
 This theory teaches that a state of heart purity or 
 freedom from sin is the acme of Christian experience 
 and one obtained as a second work after conversion or 
 regeneration. I understood the theory to teach us to
 
 122 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 look for perfection of conduct as well as perfection 
 of heart, and I think it was generally so understood. 
 It was supposed that one " fully saved " could keep 
 the divine law. I soon began to discover that my ex- 
 perience did not measure up to such a standard, and 
 I could by no casuistry conceal this fact from myself. 
 Then I became troubled about regular seasons of 
 prayer, and rules of worship, which others had pre- 
 scribed for me, or I had prescribed for myself. The 
 Lord seemed to be endeavoring to lead me out from 
 this treadmill worship into a larger liberty, but I was 
 afraid of going wrong and getting into error. My 
 judgment was enlightened and convinced but my preju- 
 dices were against this liberty. I feared that if I did 
 not pray by rule I would cease to pray altogether. 
 Like the child who should fear that if he did not eat 
 at stated intervals but should wait for the promptings 
 of hunger, he might cease to eat, and starve to death. 
 I am not by nature, a radical nor extremist, but a 
 conservative, and had to be forced by the logic of 
 circumstances into things novel and unusual. I care- 
 fully and prayerfully felt my way along untrodden 
 paths. Satan would alarm me with his temptations and 
 suggestions and I would run back, only to be brought 
 up to the same place again by the urging of the Blessed 
 Spirit. I dreaded fanaticism, and had to see clearly 
 that the way before me was reasonable and scriptural 
 before I would walk in it. I have found this to be 
 true, that if I could convince and satisfy myself of 
 the truth of a proposition, I would have little trouble 
 in convincing others. . Against anything new presented 
 to my mind as a truth, I urged every objection I 
 could think of, and if I could not answer all these 
 objections, I would not receive it as a truth. As
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 123 
 
 in science no hypothesis can be accepted as correct 
 which will not meet all conditions, so in the gospel 
 nothing can be received as truth that does not har- 
 monize with all other known truth. The result of 
 my mental and spiritual wrestling with these subjects 
 was the rejection of the " two work " theory of per- 
 fection as unscriptural and absurd, and the adoption 
 of the teaching that regeneration and perfection are 
 the same and identical. In other words, that all real 
 Christians are perfect in their moral natures by virtue 
 of being the children of God. I also discarded all 
 set rules for worship, as being clogs to liberty, be- 
 lieving that the Blessed Spirit would teach us when 
 to pray as well as how to pray. As the Lord Jesus 
 had prescribed no rules of this kind, I doubted the 
 authority of anyone else to do it. I also discarded 
 the use of a " mourners' bench " in the meetings I 
 held, believing its use to be injurious and unwarranted. 
 I understood the scriptures to teach that the preached 
 gospel is God's appointed means for saving men and 
 not human persuasion or human influence. To sow 
 the gospel seed and then leave it without any human 
 effort to hasten its germination and growth, I found 
 required a large measure of faith in the efficiency of 
 God's means, but experience has justified the plan. 
 There is much less apparent success, but more real 
 success. We have genuine spiritual births instead of 
 abortions, " The husbandman hath long patience." 
 
 Mr. Morrell, generally called " Boss Morrell," found 
 me a difficult man to manage, and soon repented fur- 
 nishing me a house free of rent, and began charging 
 me five dollars a month rent. This was agreeable to 
 me ; however, no one would have lived in the house 
 until I had repaired it at my own expense.
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 CAMP-MEETINGS AND A BEREAVEMENT. 
 
 IN June, 1872, I held a camp-meeting in Scott 
 county, Illinois, about three miles northwest of Win- 
 chester. There had been quite an amount of gospel 
 preaching in this vicinity, and it was not a new field, 
 such as was usually chosen in which to hold camp- 
 meetings. Quite a number of brethren lived in this 
 section of the country. Most of them had been saved 
 through the labors of Brother A. C. Armentrout, who 
 had been the M. E. pastor in Winchester for three 
 years. After appointing this meeting, and a few 
 weeks before the meeting, began premonitions of 
 trouble ahead. I had invited Lyman H. Johnson, pub- 
 lisher of the " Stumbling Stone," to attend the meeting 
 and assist us in the preaching. I knew that he did 
 not agree with me on the subject of prayer, either 
 in theory or practice ; and I also had some knowledge 
 of his intolerance of any opinion or practice not 
 agreeing with his own, but I had hoped to get along 
 with him without open rupture, as I was willing to 
 think and let think. But, in thinking the matter over, 
 this passage of scripture was powerfully impressed 
 on my mind : " And that because of false brethren un- 
 awares brought in, who came in privily to spy out 
 our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus, that they 
 might bring us into bondage : to whom we gave place 
 
 124
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 125 
 
 by subjection, no not for an hour; that the truth of 
 the Gospel might continue with you." (Gal. 2:4-5.) 
 This scripture was brought to my mind upon reading 
 a letter informing me of the presence of Miss Mary 
 Backus (afterwards Mr. Johnson's paramour when 
 he left his wife), in Winchester. This application of 
 scripture was a surprise to me, and was the clearest 
 fulfillment to me of the Lord's promise concerning the 
 Holy Spirit. " He shall show you things to come," 
 that I ever experienced. My wife and I, and our little 
 son, Paul, went to the camp-meeting in a wagon with 
 some other brethren from Sullivan, who drove across 
 country, a distance of one hundred miles. As my wife 
 was not strong enough to carry the child about, as he 
 was quite heavy, I bought a perambulator for her use, 
 probably the first used in our town. There were a 
 number of tents on the ground, and a respectable at- 
 tendance each day and more at night. We used coal- 
 oil torches with which to light the ground. We had 
 no kind of police protection, but trusted the Lord to 
 keep order on the ground, and we were never dis- 
 turbed by disorder at any of the camp-meetings we 
 held, though we were sometimes threatened. One 
 way to avoid trouble and contention is to give those 
 who would disturb no one to contend with. It always 
 takes two to make a quarrel. 
 
 Mr. Johnson was on hand at the beginning of the 
 meeting and having received a report from Miss 
 Backus, he began at once a discussion of our differ- 
 ences. I endeavored to avoid a public rupture, and 
 to persuade him that the matter was not vital, but 
 among those indifferent things about which everyone 
 was to be persuaded in his own mind, and concerning
 
 126 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 which we were not to judge one another. I think 
 I should have succeeded with him, if it had not been 
 for the influence of Miss Backus against me. He 
 at length decided that it was his duty to oppose my 
 teachings publicly, and on Saturday night before the 
 first Sunday of the meeting, he preached on the sub- 
 ject of prayer. Two points on which he particularly 
 insisted were: 1st, that nothing was real prayer that 
 was not vocal or audible ; and, 2nd, that he could not 
 know that a man was a Christian unless he heard 
 him pray. He was a considerably older man than I, 
 and I disliked to attack him publicly, but no alterna- 
 tive was left me, and I did not spare him. I think 
 I succeeded in showing the unscripturalness and ab- 
 surdity of his statements. If nothing is prayer that 
 is not vocal, the deaf and dumb, and those having 
 lost the power of speech are forever precluded from 
 the possibility of prayer. He gave the case of Hannah, 
 the mother of the prophet Samuel, as a proof that 
 prayer must be vocal, because the high priest Eli 
 misjudged her, thinking her drunken, when he saw 
 her in the tabernacle praying for a son, because he saw 
 her lips move, but heard no sound. But he forgot or 
 ignored the fact that God heard that prayer and 
 granted her request. The citation of this event as 
 an argument against silent prayer was unfortunate. If 
 vocal prayer in the hearing of others is such strong 
 proof of piety, the Pharisees certainly should have 
 passed muster. It must constitute an important part 
 of the Christian's light, which Christ commands him 
 to let shine ; how strange then that the Lord should 
 recommend secret prayer where the light would be 
 under a bushel, and forbid praying to be seen of men.
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 127 
 
 Jesus did not seem to have the same view of the 
 matter as Mr. Johnson. He teaches us to depend upon 
 the open reward for proof of our piety. The next 
 morning, which was Sunday, Mr. Johnson and Miss 
 Backus left the camp-ground before time for services, 
 shaking the dust off their feet as a testimony against 
 us, and left Winchester together on the first train. 
 Satan took advantage of this trouble to violently at- 
 tack us, as he always does on such occasions, and 
 the brethren being generally young in experience, and 
 ignorant of Satan's devices, were somewhat stampeded. 
 Phis left a heavy pressure on me, and so violent was 
 the devil's attack that it sapped my physical strength 
 so that I could scarcely walk about. Yet at 10 :30 
 A. M., I was due to preach to a large audience of more 
 than one thousand people. It seemed to me impossible 
 that I should do so, and I cried to God for strength 
 and guidance. In the emergency, this text was sug- 
 gested to me : " Cursed is he that doeth the work 
 of the Lord deceitfully ; and cursed is the man that 
 keepeth back his sword from blood." (Jer. 48:10.) 
 As the scripture lesson, I read the thirty-second 
 chapter of Deuteronomy and also the account of 
 Saul's expedition against the Amelekites. As I began 
 to read, I felt the power of God come down, and 
 before I was done reading, my physical weakness 
 was all gone and I realized such an uplifting that 
 was unusual. This continued all through the dis- 
 course and the congregation seemed to be bereft of 
 power to resist the truth spoken. I never before or 
 since realized more power and liberty in preaching. 
 Satan seemed to be routed and we had the victory. 
 During the progress of this meeting, the Rev. Andrew
 
 128 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 Rynders, a member of the annual Conference came 
 to visit us and to cast in his lot with us. Also some 
 brethren were there from abroad whom I had never 
 met before, among them Brother Abram Jackson of 
 Bangor, Iowa. At 'the close of the meeting we re- 
 turned to Sullivan. In August I held a camp-meeting 
 in Cumberland county, Illinois, not far from the town 
 of Greenup. We attended this camp-meeting in a 
 wagon also, with Brother Delana. Miss Magill of 
 Winchester, who was visiting us at the time, accom- 
 panied us. This meeting was well attended, and con- 
 tinued over two Sundays, as usual. Nothing remark- 
 able or unusual occurred at it. Shortly after our re- 
 turn home, I held a third camp-meeting for the year 
 at Rmgo's Mill, in Shelby county, Illinois. This 
 was a profitable meeting, and the results were seen 
 for a long time afterward. 
 
 During the summer, my little boy, Paul, was af- 
 flicted with diarrhoea, and by September he became 
 quite bad, so that from being a fat, chubby baby, he 
 was wasted almost to a skeleton. We feared that he 
 would die, but did not dare to employ a physician, 
 dreading the results of strong medicines more than 
 the disease. He was so fretful that I had to carry 
 him about in my arms much of the time. We treated 
 him with simple remedies and waited for frosty 
 weather. When this came, he got better. In October 
 I was invited to hold meetings in Shelby county, not 
 far from the present site of Findlay, though there 
 was at that time no town there. While holding the 
 meetings, my wife and I stayed with the family of 
 James Dazy, an extensive farmer and stockman of 
 the vicinity. While in Shelbyville one day with Mr.
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 129 
 
 Dazy I took sick and, returning to his home I found 
 my wife also sick. She had contracted a cold which 
 affected one of her lungs. The next morning, Mr. 
 Dazy took us to our home in Sullivan. I had a spell 
 of third-day ague and my wife suffered from con- 
 gestion of the lungs. We were both sick about three 
 weeks. I would have a chill and high fever each 
 alternate day, but the intervening day would feel 
 much better. My wife continued to grow worse, 
 though she suffered but little pain. She would not 
 consent for me to call a physician, thinking it of no 
 use. I nursed her and took care of our little child, 
 Paul. Sister Delana would come in nearly every day 
 to see us, and occasionally some others. I would be 
 so sick some days that I could not get out to the 
 well to get water to drink. I did not apprehend 
 that my wife was fatally sick until two or three days 
 before the end. Then it began to be apparent that 
 she was not likely to recover. She realized this, and 
 told me so. She said that she would like to live to 
 be company for me, but that she realized that she 
 was a clog to me on account of her delicate health, 
 and that the Lord was about to take her away from 
 me. She had no fear nor dread of dying, and was 
 anxious only that I might be submissive to the Lord's 
 will ; and she could not rest until I assured her that 
 I was submissive. This was a difficult thing for me 
 to do; but when once I had given her my word, she 
 said no more about dying, and seemed no more con- 
 cerned about it than if she were but going to sleep. 
 Though having all a mother's love for her child, she 
 never once mentioned leaving him. The abscess on 
 her lung gave her countenance the flush of health
 
 130 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 and she did not look like a sick woman. She re- 
 marked this herself a few days before she died. Up 
 to less than twenty-four hours before dissolution she 
 gave no sign of approaching death. Then she began 
 to be unable to take food. She was very fond of per- 
 simmons, and a friend having brought her some of 
 that fruit, she ate a little of it and was thereafter 
 unable to swallow. Then she had a sinking spell, 
 but revived and spoke cheerfully of how near death 
 she was. Then she cried out, " Where is my hus- 
 band ? " I went to her side and she said, " It is 
 getting dark again." Sister Delana was with us and 
 we rubbed her with brandy and gave her a taste of 
 the liquor. She remarked, " How sweet it is." I said 
 to sister Delana, " Don't give her too much," and 
 my wife remarked, " Do not give me any more, then.' 1 
 She looked at me with a smile, her head fell back 
 and she was dead. The abscess had burst and 
 strangled her. This was on Friday, the 8th of No- 
 vember. We buried her remains on Sunday, the 10th, 
 in the Sullivan cemetery, I, myself, officiating at her 
 funeral.
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 IN MEMORIAM. 
 
 NANCY MELINDA BURNETT was born near Waverly, 
 Morgan county, Illinois, December 24, 1843. Her 
 parents were James Burnett and Thirza Van Winkle 
 Burnett. Her father was an extensive farmer, being 
 quite well-to-do for those times. When she was three 
 or four years old her parents died, leaving six children 
 and one granddaughter, the oldest daughter having 
 previously died after giving birth to a child. Nannie 
 was the sixth child, having one sister younger than 
 herself. Her uncle, Isham Burnett, was appointed 
 guardian for her and her sister, Charity, and they went 
 to live in his family, not far from their previous home. 
 A short time afterward, probably a year later, she 
 was taken into the family of Jester Shearer, who had 
 married her mother's cousin, Minerva Jane Van 
 Winkle. They at this time lived on a farm between 
 Waverly and Jacksonville, but shortly afterward re- 
 moved to the village of Waverly, where Mr. Shearer 
 worked at his trade, he being a journeyman harness- 
 maker. Here she grew up to womanhood. 
 
 Waverly was then a small village, situated about 
 twelve miles southeast of Jacksonville, the county seat 
 of Morgan county, Illinois. It was built on a level 
 prairie, surrounded by fertile farms and was an un- 
 usually quiet and moral community. It was founded 
 
 131
 
 132 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 and laid out by a man by the name of Cleveland 
 Salter, in the first half of the Nineteenth century. 
 Mr. Salter was an Eastern man, having removed to 
 Illinois in his early manhood. I never met him, but I 
 had often heard my step-mother speak of him during 
 my childhood in Ohio, as she had lived in his family 
 before he came west, while he was a merchant in 
 Meadville, Pennsylvania. Here Nannie Burnett at- 
 tended the common schools, and here, when fourteen 
 or fifteen years old, she professed religion and united 
 with the Methodist Episcopal Society. Mr. and Mrs. 
 Shearer had no children of their own and she was 
 brought up like an only child, but was not legally 
 adopted. When she was about eighteen years old 
 she entered what was then called the Methodist Fe- 
 male College in Jacksonville. It is now denominated 
 The Methodist Woman's College. Here she remained 
 four years until her graduation in June, 1865. Her 
 younger sister, Charity, was also in this institution 
 several terms, but married before graduation, and 
 did not finish the course of study. At this time the 
 institution was presided over by the Rev. Dr. Charles 
 Adams. I visited the college a time or two in 1864-65, 
 but never met Miss Burnett. About the time of her 
 graduation Brother Shearer removed from Waverly 
 to Winchester, Scott county, Illinois. Still making 
 her home with them she engaged in school teaching 
 after her graduation and was employed in the public 
 schools of Winchester during the years of 1865-66 
 and 1866-67. In the fall of 1866 Rev. A. C. Armen- 
 trout was sent by the Illinois Annual Conference to 
 the charge at Winchester. The winter previously he, 
 while in charge of the Fifth street M. E. charge in
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 133 
 
 Quincy, had professed the blessing of " Holiness " 
 or " Entire Sanctification," as had also his wife, and 
 was quite zealous in preaching the doctrine and rec- 
 ommending the experience. A number of the mem- 
 bers of the society embraced the doctrine and pro- 
 fessed the experience, among them Nannie Burnett 
 and Mr. and Mrs. Shearer. Brother Armentrout met 
 with active if not bitter opposition in his work, and 
 the prejudice against the professors of the new ex- 
 perience was such that Miss Burnett lost her position 
 in the public schools of the city, and had to go to the 
 country to teach during the winter of 1867-68. It 
 was during this winter that I met her, and we were 
 married the next April. She had used her patri- 
 mony in obtaining her college education, and little or 
 nothing was left at the end of the course. 
 
 Nannie's opinion of boarding-schools was not flat- 
 tering. She judged them from her own experience, 
 and thought them dangerous to the morals of the 
 students. There are, almost without exception, a 
 few girls in any such institution who are immoral, 
 though they are supposed to come from the best fam- 
 ilies, and their influence on their associates is con- 
 taminating and debasing. This is true to some extent 
 of all schools, but where the pupils are together but 
 for study and recitations, the evil effects of vicious 
 associations are minimized. But when this associa- 
 tion is constant by day and. by night, the danger is 
 much increased. She was so impressed by this view 
 of the case that she declared she would never willingly 
 send a daughter of hers to a boarding-school. This 
 agrees with John Wesley's opinion of such schools. 
 
 The subject of this sketch was a woman of small
 
 134 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 stature, being not over five feet in height, and of 
 rather slender build, though she was not so slender 
 as she appeared and as her face indicated. She never 
 in health weighed less than one hundred pounds and 
 sometimes weighed nearly one hundred and twenty. 
 She had small feet and rather small hands, though 
 her hands were not so small proportionately as her 
 feet. She could wear No. 1 shoes. Her complexion 
 was rather brunette than blonde, and on account of 
 ill-health, this was often accentuated. Her hair, of 
 which she had abundance, was brown with a glint of 
 gold in it. Her eyes were blue-grey, bright and ex- 
 pressive. She had a prominent forehead, her head 
 being quite long from front to back, and a slender, 
 oval face. Her nose was straight and her mouth 
 moderate in size. She would not have been considered 
 a beauty as was her younger sister, who was a very 
 beautiful woman, but when in good health, with a 
 clear complexion, and with animated countenance, 
 she appeared really beautiful. She had a good car- 
 riage, a dignified demeanor, and was quiet and ret- 
 icent, except when in the society of intimate friends, 
 only. Then her reticence disappeared and she made 
 herself very agreeable. By mere acquaintances she was 
 considered cold and reserved, but she had a very af- 
 fectionate nature, as her intimate friends knew. She 
 was prone to use terms of endearment in her inter- 
 course with near friends. In our private associations 
 she usually called me " Precious." She had known me 
 only as a gospel minister, and she could not be per- 
 suaded to call me by my Christian name. 
 
 Her intellectual endowments were above the ordi- 
 nary. She said of herself, that she was not especially
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 135 
 
 bright as a student and that it required hard study to 
 enable her to excel. But she had excellent judgment, 
 and strong common sense. She was tactful and of 
 a cheerful disposition, though grave and serious. She 
 was lady-like in her manners and easily commanded 
 respect. In her girlhood she was rather fond of dress 
 and inclined to be fashionable, but when I first knew 
 her this love of display was all gone as a result of 
 divine grace. When the Lord saved her she cast off 
 her finery and thereafter was quite plain in her ap- 
 parel. One of her characteristics was her inability to 
 endure pain. Severe pain quite unnerved her. As a 
 wife she was a model. I never knew any other woman 
 who had so high an ideal of wifely obedience and 
 reverence as she had; and she lived up to her ideal. 
 She observed the apostolic recommendation " Even 
 as Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him Lord." Her 
 husband's decision was law to her, unless it violated 
 her conscience, and she never disputed it or called it 
 in question. During the four years and eight months 
 we lived as husband and wife she never contradicted 
 me, she never opposed me in anything, she never re- 
 proached me. Of course she was not always pleased 
 with what I did ; she did not always think as I did, 
 but she kept these differences to herself. I sometimes 
 wounded her carelessly or inadvertently, and her de- 
 meanor would show pain, but not one word of blame 
 was uttered, and when I begged her forgivenness all 
 was forgotten. She never had to beg my forgive- 
 ness for she never wounded me. I am impulsive and 
 quick to speak out my feelings, she was deliberate 
 and governed her tongue. Hence we never had our 
 first quarrel. Her submissiveness was not in any
 
 136 .HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 sense the result of weakness or colorlessness, for she 
 had a strong individuality. It was the result of grace 
 and a high ideal. I have great cause for thankfulness 
 that I was permitted to know such a woman and to 
 live with her as my wife. I felt myself unworthy of 
 her companionship, and I wondered at her profound 
 affection for me in spite of my faults and weaknesses, 
 but her love, I never for a moment doubted. She 
 told me more than once during our married life that 
 she would not live to be thirty years of age ; she died 
 more than a month before she was twenty-nine. She 
 was a noble woman, a sincere Christian, a faithful wife 
 and mother. " Many daughters have done virtuously, 
 but thou excellest them all."
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 CONTINUED LABORS. 
 
 The death of my wife naturally was a great shock 
 to me and for a short time I lost all interest in my 
 work and was strongly tempted to abandon it and to 
 return to Ohio. I lost the desire of life and would 
 have been willing to leave my child alone in the world. 
 I was tempted to fear that Satan would succeed in 
 trapping me in some way if I continued within his 
 reach and that I should never see my wife again. This 
 tended to make me afraid to live longer. After seeing 
 my wife die, it seemed an easy thing to die. The 
 language of the poet impressed me deeply : 
 
 " O fear not thou to die, 
 
 But rather fear to live; for life 
 Hath thousand snares thy feet to try, 
 
 By peril, pain and strife. 
 Brief is the work of death 
 
 But life the spirit shrinks to see 
 How full, 'ere heaven recalls the breath, 
 
 The cup of woe may be." 
 
 But these benumbed feelings, the result of the heavy 
 stroke, soon began to pass away and nature began to 
 reassert itself. Interest in my work began to return, 
 and I felt that it would be disloyalty to God to abandon 
 my work. I took my little boy, Paul, to his mother's 
 relatives in Winchester, Brother and Sister Shearer. 
 Sister Shearer was in delicate health, but she under- 
 
 137
 
 138 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 took the task of caring for him, a child fourteen 
 months old. 
 
 The winter of 1872-73 was one of great severity. 
 Nannie was buried on Sunday, the 10th of November, 
 the weather being mild, but on the next day the weather 
 changed to cold winter temperature. A blizzard raged 
 and a heavy snow fell. I disposed of my furniture 
 and crockery, stored my bedding and prepared for 
 evangelistic labors. The first meeting I held was in 
 Shelbyville. I had never preached in that city, though 
 I had preached at several points in Shelby county. 
 Mr. Dazy procured the use of the court house for 
 meeting purposes and I held meetings therein for a 
 week or two, assisted by Elder Andrew Rynders of 
 Waverly, Illinois, but these meetings did not prove 
 very successful. The attendance was not large and 
 no special interest was aroused, and I did not con- 
 tinue them long. And though I have lived less than 
 twenty-five miles from that city for thirty-eight years 
 since then, I have not preached there since. 
 
 During this winter, while I was in Sullivan, I re- 
 ceived word that Paul was sick with the inflammatory 
 croup, and likely to die of it. The news came by 
 telegram. There was a railroad running from Mat- 
 toon to Decatur through Sullivan, but there was no 
 telegraph. The telegram was sent on the train from 
 Mattoon to the station agent at Sullivan, who gave it 
 to me. Train service was irregular and the telegram 
 had been so long on the way that I had small hope 
 of reaching Winchester in time to see my child alive. 
 I went to Decatur, and while there waiting for a 
 west-bound train, I felt like praying over the matter. 
 I attempted to do so, but the Lord seemed to ask me
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 139 
 
 what I would have. Of course, I wished that my boy's 
 life might be spared; but I could not know whether 
 that would really be for the best; and as the choice 
 seemed left to me, I said, " Lord, I do not know what 
 is best, I dare not dictate; do what Thou seest to 
 be the best and I will submit." The doctor had said, 
 " Poor little fellow, he must die," but when I reached 
 him I found to my joy that he was on the road to 
 recovery. And I knew then that that was the best. 
 I remained in the vicinity of Winchester and did some 
 preaching in the city and in the country round about. 
 Meetings were held regularly each Sunday at Brother 
 Shearer's house. I also visited Waverly, the home of 
 Elder Rynders, who had been a Methodist preacher, 
 and a member of the Illinois Conference. On our 
 way across country from Waverly to Winchester in 
 a private conveyance, we encountered the severest 
 weather I ever experienced in travelling. As we left 
 Murrayville one morning early, quite a blanket of snow 
 covering the ground, I warned Brother Rynders that 
 he should protect his ears or they would freeze. He 
 scorned the advice, and, he being an older man than I, 
 I said no more. After driving two or three miles far- 
 ther I happened to look at him and saw that his ear 
 next to me was frozen, and so informed him. On ex- 
 amination he found them both frozen. We stopped 
 at the nearest house and thawed them out, as he found 
 the application of snow failed to affect them it was 
 so cold. After that he covered his ears. As a result 
 of the freezing he had a very sore pair of ears. They 
 were large, naturally, and the freezing greatly exag- 
 gerated their size. I returned to Sullivan and then 
 went to Piatt county and held some meetings in the
 
 140 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 same neighborhood where I had preached the previous 
 year. There was considerable interest manifested in 
 the meetings there and fruit is yet remaining of my 
 labors there. 
 
 Sister Shearer's health being poor, she found the 
 care of a child quite burdensome to her and felt that 
 she could not undertake it for any long time, and 
 in the spring she spoke to me about the matter and 
 advised me to marry again to provide a mother for 
 my child. I had not thought of marrying again so 
 soon, though I had not contemplated remaining a 
 widower the remainder of my life. I felt sure that 
 remarriage after so comparatively short an interval, 
 though perfectly lawful, would provoke comment. But 
 it was my duty to provide a home for my boy, and I 
 could not feel free to impose upon Sister Shearer 
 much longer. I had been extremely careful during 
 the time of my widowerhood to avoid anything like 
 attentions to the opposite sex, both for my own 
 quietude of mind, and for the sake of the gospel, that 
 my conduct might excite no remark. This line of 
 conduct compelled me at times to appear almost rude 
 toward women, but I steadfastly held to it. So many 
 men who have lost their wives make themselves ridic- 
 ulous by their antics, that I resolved to be an ex- 
 ception to that rule, and I think I succeeded. Brother 
 and Sister Shearer also recommended to me the 
 woman whom I afterward married, as a proper person 
 to care for my boy. My judgment coincided with 
 theirs, my only objection being the disparity of our 
 ages, she being twelve years younger than I. So, on 
 July 10th, 1873, at Brother Shearer's house in Win- 
 chester, I was united in marriage to Miss Euretta L.
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 141 
 
 Magill. Her father resided at Naples, in the same 
 county, but she was not living with her father at 
 the time. She had been teaching school near Win- 
 chester, and indeed, she resigned her position as a 
 school teacher to marry. 
 
 I had held two camp-meetings in 1871, and three 
 in 1872. As the meeting-houses were closed to me, 
 I found what Mr. Wesley called " field preaching " 
 my best means of getting a hearing, and for a number 
 of years such meetings were quite successful. Quite 
 large congregations would attend them, and deep im- 
 pression was generally made upon many of the hearers. 
 In August, 1873, I began a camp-meeting at a point 
 called Appolonia, near Waverly, Morgan county, Illi- 
 nois. This was probably the most largely attended 
 meeting I ever held. Quite a number of brethren 
 from points in Illinois, and some from Iowa, were 
 present and tented on the ground. Elder Rynders 
 and I did the preaching, I doing the most of it. As 
 the stand was free for any one who felt he had a 
 message from God, a Baptist preacher, . by the name 
 of William P. Hart, took the pulpit at one session 
 and opposed the doctrine we preached of -salvation 
 from all sin. This gave me an opportunity to answer 
 his objections. At the close of this meeting, which 
 continued over two Sundays, my wife and I came to 
 Sullivan and soon went to another camp-meeting, 
 which I had appointed to be held near a large spring 
 in the northwestern part of Douglass county, Illinois. 
 Some of the brethren from a distance accompanied 
 us to Sullivan from Waverly and attended this second 
 meeting. The attendance here was creditable, but the 
 results were less satisfactory than of any camp-meeting
 
 142 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 I ever held. The prevailing feeling in the community 
 was either indifferent or hostile, and not much im- 
 pression was made. 
 
 I spent a large part of my time during these years 
 holding meetings here and there, usually in neighbor- 
 hoods where I had already preached, but sometimes 
 in new places. I kept no diary, and after the lapse of 
 so many years it is impossible for me to recall many 
 of these meetings, and when I remember the meetings 
 I often cannot fix the date of them. I usually re- 
 visited once a year at least, and often more frequently, 
 any point where I had held meetings, and especially 
 if the prospect for obtaining fruit of my labors was 
 promising. Brother Lark Delana, who lived in Sul- 
 livan, had invited me, after my second marriage, to 
 occupy a part of his house and we accepted the invi- 
 tation and moved in. My wife had a small amount 
 of money, inherited from her maternal grandfather, 
 and we used this in building a small addition to 
 Brother Delana's house, he promising to reimburse 
 us when we relinquished the house. During the au- 
 tumn of that year Paul was quite sick and we almost 
 despaired of his life, but he finally recovered. I held 
 meetings at nearby points during the fall and winter 
 of 1873-74. One series at Dunn, five miles west of 
 Sullivan. We had regular meetings twice each week 
 in my house. I also held meetings at Mackville, Piatt 
 county, near the point where I had formerly held meet- 
 ings in that county. The social meetings in Sullivan 
 were then attended by but few persons. We were 
 earnestly endeavoring to learn how to worship the 
 Lord in Spirit and in truth, but we found many hin- 
 drances. Sometimes the Lord would meet with us
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 143 
 
 in power, and at other times the meetings would 
 seem formal and lifeless, and we could not tell why 
 these differences occurred. We could not determine 
 whether it was our own fault, or whether it was in 
 God's order for the trial of our faith. If our fault, 
 we could not locate the fault, and as we could not 
 read each other's hearts, we could not know who 
 might be grieving God's Spirit if He was indeed 
 grieved. This ignorance laid the foundation for sus- 
 picion of each other, and for judging each other. But 
 we struggled to keep the unity of the Spirit until we 
 should come into the unity of the faith and the knowl- 
 edge of the Son of God. And we avoided all effort 
 to substitute wrought-up emotion in place of the work 
 of God's spirit. This kind of self-deception is too 
 frequently practiced. We gradually learned the great 
 and difficult lesson of spiritual worship. We learned 
 to do the best we knew and to leave the rest to God 
 without worrying and without curious inquiry. God's 
 ways are sometimes past finding out. I might have 
 greatly increased our numbers if I had given people 
 something tangible and carnal to attach themselves 
 to; or if I had not insisted on such a high standard 
 of life and experience. But I refused to lower my 
 ideals of Christian character, and held men up to the 
 gospel standard with unfailing persistence. This dis- 
 couraged the faint hearted, and offered no advantage 
 to self-seekers. There was nothing to be gained and 
 everything to lose by association with us. To speak 
 after the manner of men, I deemed half ,a dozen 
 thoroughbreds of more value than ten thousand hy- 
 breds. I still think the same. The world is cursed
 
 144 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 with multitudes of make-believes ; the genuine Chris- 
 tians are scarce and precious. 
 
 In May, 1874, my wife and I visited Winchester. 
 Owing to the failure of making connections with trains 
 we were forced to spend a night in Springfield, Illinois, 
 at a hotel. About midnight, Paul awoke strangling 
 with the croup. We had no medicine with us, so I 
 went down into the office, woke up the clerk and we 
 searched the pantry for onions and lard. Securing 
 a supply of each and a tin pan, I returned to our room. 
 We then heated a portion of the onions sliced in the 
 lard, using a kerosene lamp to furnish the heat, dosed 
 Paul with the onion juice and in an hour had the satis- 
 faction of seeing the little fellow much relieved. In 
 the morning we went to the station through the rain 
 to take the train but he suffered no harm and never 
 afterward had an attack of the croup. 
 
 During the spring of 1874, I the second time visited 
 Mason county, Illinois, and held a few meetings there. 
 There seemed to be an opening for doing good in 
 that vicinity and I arranged to hold a camp-meeting 
 in August near Poplar City, a railroad station about 
 eight miles east of Havana. Meanwhile Elder Rynders 
 had removed from Waverly to Mason county. The 
 camp-meeting was largely attended and was quite 
 successful. There was quite an interest in the " Holi- 
 ness " work throughout central Illinois at this time. 
 One of the principal agents in promoting this work 
 in the territory mentioned was the Rev. Hardin Wal- 
 lace, a Methodist preacher and a member of the Illinois 
 Annual Conference, whom I have previously men- 
 tioned. In 1867 he had lost his health through an 
 attack of nervous prostration, and while this inca-
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 145 
 
 pacitated him for active service, he professed the 
 blessing of entire sanctification according to the Wes- 
 leyian theory, and when he had partially recovered his 
 health he began holding Holiness conventions in va- 
 rious parts of central Illinois. Though a man of com- 
 paratively slender abilities, he had untiring zeal and 
 was quite successful in his work, though still an invalid. 
 He afterwards removed to California and continued 
 his labors there with considerable success and or- 
 ganized a society or church of his own. But he was 
 at length superseded by some of his co-laborers. He 
 died in Los Angeles. I found upon visiting California 
 in 1910 that his work had perished as it has in Illinois. 
 I had visited Mason county, Illinois, in the spring 
 of 1873 and had preached at several points in that 
 county. One of them was a place called Paterville, 
 southeast of Havana. Here I held a series of meetings 
 in a free chapel, and had quite a good hearing. I 
 preached also near Poplar City and in school houses 
 near that point, so that the people had heard enough 
 gospel to arouse their interest. Several Holiness 
 workers had been in that section of the country also 
 and the people were agitated upon religious subjects. 
 I was not able to work in harmony with the Holiness 
 evangelists as they usually held to some sect, while 
 I opposed sectism. Then, though we agreed upon the 
 doctrine of salvation from all sins, I did not accept 
 their theory of two separate and successive experi- 
 ences in order to reach Christian perfection. These 
 things gave them offense and they would not work 
 with me. On the other hand, I considered their work 
 superficial, as a rule, and that it failed to bring its 
 votaries to a real salvation from sin and a holy life.
 
 146 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 The camp-meeting at Poplar City was held in August, 
 1874. It was largely attended by the people of the 
 neighborhood, and quite a number of brethren tented 
 on the ground. Some brethren were present from a 
 distance. Elder Rynders and I did all the preaching, 
 I doing the larger share of it. The" meeting was quite 
 successful, many of the results continuing until the 
 present day, after more than thirty-seven years. A 
 society was gathered there which met for a number 
 of years, until it was scattered by removals, several 
 of the members of it coming to Sullivan. Some of 
 those who were saved as a result of these meetings 
 have gone to join the saints on the other shore, among 
 them, Brothers William Poland and S. A. Poland, 
 Brother James T. Chancy and Sister Martha Poland. 
 Elder Rynders took up his residence in the neighbor- 
 hood and looked after the spiritual interests of the 
 church there. After the close of the camp-meeting 
 my wife and I, with Paul, took a trip on a steamboat 
 on the Illinois river from Havana to Naples, where 
 my father-in-law lived. This was the only steamboat 
 ride I ever had and I enjoyed it very much. It cer- 
 tainly is an ideal way of travelling, especially in 
 pleasant weather. Paul was very much interested in 
 the deck hands; he had never seen black men, and 
 he thought they were dirty. This was the first time 
 since her marriage, more than a year previously, that 
 my wife had revisited her father's family, as her 
 stepmother was not eminently her friend, but she 
 thought it her duty to visit her. Her father was not 
 at home, as he worked at his trade mostly at a distance 
 from home, which was most conductive to his peace 
 of mind. We were courteously received and hospit-
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 147 
 
 ably treated while the visit lasted. Soon after this 
 visit we returned to our home in Sullivan. I do not 
 now recall where I labored during the autumn and 
 winter of 1874-75, but a large part of my time was 
 spent in gospel labors in different places. On January 
 llth, 1875, our first child was born, a boy, whom we 
 named Rufus Magill, the first name for his father, 
 and the other his mother's maiden name. He was a 
 large and robust child and grew quite rapidly, so that 
 when three months old he weighed more than twenty 
 pounds. In the spring we again visited Winchester 
 and I did some preaching in that region and again 
 visited my father-in-law, at Naples. The feeling at 
 Sullivan was becoming quite hostile to the gospel and 
 its adherents, and some threats were made against us. 
 The people called Campbellites were the most hostile. 
 There was a man living in Sullivan by the name of 
 L. C. Banks, a man of good family, who had been 
 quite friendly to me, and toward the gospel I preached 
 though he was a " Campbellite." His wife professed 
 salvation, which seemed to bring about an alienation 
 from us on his part, which was aggravated by taunts 
 of his friends, who insinuated that we had more in- 
 fluence over his wife than he had. He forebade his 
 wife to attend the meetings held at my house, or in 
 my rooms rather. She sought advice from me in the 
 matter, and I told her that the New Testament strictly 
 enjoined upon wives to obey their husbands, and that 
 nothing but her duty to God could take precedence 
 of that obligation; that she must decide for herself 
 whether her duty to God compelled her to disobey 
 her husband in this particular. But some others, 
 Brother Delana in particular, knew more about her
 
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 duty than I did and insisted that she must disobey 
 her husband. I think, and then thought that this was 
 bad advice, but I did not feel free to advise her to 
 stay away from the meetings. Her disobedience en- 
 raged her husband and on our return from our visit 
 at Winchester we found the church quite concerned 
 at the condition of affairs. It was Wednesday and 
 meeting was to be held that night, and Sister Banks 
 was intending to be there and her husband was threat- 
 ening vengeance. I did not feel the pressure at first 
 and was disposed to make light of their fears, but 
 before meeting time, I began to realize the pressure 
 of the powers of darkness. There was a general at- 
 tendance of the church so that the not very large 
 room was full, and Sister Banks was present. The 
 room was in the southwest corner of the house and 
 just east of it were the apartments of Brother Delana. 
 The front door of my room was in the south side, 
 near the southeast corner, and near it was the door 
 into the room east of it. Brother Delana took his 
 seat as usual in my room between my front door and 
 the door into his room. I sat opposite my front door 
 near the door of the dining-room to the north. As 
 we sang the first hymn Banks made his appearance 
 and took his stand in my front door, which stood 
 open. My intention was to sing or talk so as to face 
 Banks and give him no opportunity to do anything 
 without being scrutinized by all present, as I saw he 
 was bent on mischief. Had this course been followed 
 I doubt whether he would have had the courage to 
 'do anything. But Brother Delana, who was an old 
 soldier and apparently devoid of fear and really de- 
 void of caution, though sitting so near to Banks that
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 149 
 
 he could touch him as he sat, said, " Let us pray " and 
 turned his back to Banks and knelt down to pray. 
 As all knelt, this relieved Banks of public scrutiny, 
 though I took the precaution to turn my face toward 
 him, thinking it a proper time to watch as well as to 
 pray. As soon as Banks saw himself unobserved he 
 exclaimed, " Yes, say your prayers, for I am coming," 
 drew a pistol and fired at Brother Delana, being near 
 enough to him to touch him. I at once arose and 
 started to the assistance of Brother Delana, thus di- 
 rectly approaching Banks, who in his excitement was 
 trying to cock his revolver to shoot me. But his 
 mother, who had followed him, and unknown to those 
 in the house, stood outside, screamed as she heard 
 the shot, sprang to his side, and seizing hold of him, 
 jerked him from the door before he could accomplish 
 his purpose. He then ran away. I never have boasted 
 of physical courage, indeed, I have, always thought 
 myself lacking in this respect, but in the face of real 
 danger I have never felt fear. In this instance I 
 might have retired through the door behind me and 
 avoided the threatened shot, but the idea did not 
 enter my mind. I did not think of the danger of 
 death that confronted me, but only of the wounded 
 man. Brother Delana's almost erect position as he 
 knelt in prayer, and the downward trend of the pistol 
 caused a glancing impact of the bullet. It struck him 
 in the back, about half-way between the shoulder and 
 the hip, on the right side of the spinal column, on 
 the ridge or dorsal muscles lying there, and glanced 
 downward, lodging in the muscles of the hip, making 
 but a shallow wound. The pistol could not have been 
 heavier than a thirty-two caliber. The ball afterward
 
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 gave him some trouble, from its irritating the sciatic 
 nerve, but it was never extracted. This attack caused 
 considerable excitement in the town, and threats of 
 mobbing me were made, but nothing came of these 
 threats, though the spiritual atmosphere was charged 
 with ill-will toward us for some time afterward, 
 making this world seem like a very undesirable place 
 of residence. Some one reported the occurrence to 
 the Police Gazette, which gave it a prominent place 
 in its columns with an unfair and slanderous state- 
 ment of the case. All this was very humiliating. 
 Dr. Abram Kellar, a " Campbellite " preacher, wrote 
 a libelous account of the affair for the newspapers, 
 and altogether we were subjected to much reproach 
 and contempt. And all for what crime? Simply for 
 preaching the gospel as we understood it, and for 
 quietly worshipping God according to our under- 
 standing of His requirements, without injuring or dis- 
 turbing others, a right guaranteed us by the constitu- 
 tion and laws of the land. But God's children have 
 found in all ages that the citizens of the heavenly 
 country have no rights which worldly men feel bound 
 to respect. The spiritual descendants of Cain are 
 born persecutors. No efforts were made by the church 
 to bring Banks to justice for his crime. Indeed, they 
 had no desire to see him punished by human laws, 
 being satisfied to leave him in the divine hands. But 
 the next grand jury seemed to think it necessary to 
 take some cognizance of the affair '' to save its face," 
 so to speak. But they were careful to subprena no. 
 witness who would testify against Banks, though they 
 were furnished with the names of such witnesses. 
 As they had learned that the brethren were in con-
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 151 
 
 science restrained from taking an oath or an affirm- 
 ation according to the legal form, which has all the 
 force of an oath, they subpcened Brother A. P. 
 Powers to go before them to testify against Banks. 
 As he could not do this, he was reported to the sitting 
 Circuit Judge, who remanded him to the custody of 
 the sheriff, where he remained until the adjournment 
 of court, when the judge fined him one hundred 
 dollars for contempt of court. This sum, however, 
 was far short of expressing the contempt which such 
 a court merited. This righteous and upright judge 
 was from Champaign county and " Fate tried to con- 
 ceal him by naming him ' Smith.' " In the trial of a 
 murder case some time afterward, the Hon. John R. 
 Eden, one of the attornies in the case taunted Judge 
 Smith, who was presiding in the case, with the in- 
 justice of this fine, but the judge did not fine the 
 learned counsel for contempt. The accused man was 
 turned loose, of course, as was intended from the 
 first. The miscarriage of justice in this case was too 
 much for the sense of fair play, which is inherent in 
 the Anglo-Saxon race, and public opinion veered a 
 little toward the right. Satan is a great strategist, 
 but either like the poets, he sometimes nods, or he has 
 not perfect control of his agents, for, as is frequently 
 the case, he pushed the joke too far and produced a 
 reaction against his own cause. My wife was so 
 shocked by the shooting episode that she did not 
 recover from its effects for many months. She was 
 constantly haunted by the fear that I would be assassi- 
 nated. We learned from bitter experience how much 
 security for life or property the laws of the land af- 
 forded to Christians. Their protection was not worth
 
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 a rush. And why should Christians expect protection 
 from human laws or human governments? If Jesus 
 instead of being an hysterical fanatic, spoke words 
 of truth and soberness when he declared, " Behold I 
 send you forth as lambs in the midst of the wolves," 
 we have no reason to look for security from such a 
 source. Lambs are ill protected by laws made by 
 wolves, their natural enemies. " God is the refuge 
 of His saints," and they need no other defence. 
 
 I have omitted a visit made in April, 1875, to Iowa, 
 in which I was accompanied by Brother Delana and 
 Brother J. R. Poland. I left my wife and children 
 in Mason county near the site of the camp-meeting 
 the previous year, with friends, and went first to a 
 point in eastern Iowa near West Liberty, where 
 Brother Poland's brother lived. Here I halted and 
 held a series of meetings in a school house. It was 
 very cold weather for the time of year, a heavy snow 
 being on the ground. Brother Poland went no further 
 with us, but Brother Delana and I went on to Craw- 
 ford county in western Iowa. Here some brethren 
 lived, among them Brother David McCord, who had 
 removed there from Arcola, Illinois. I held some 
 meetings here also and we then returned to Illinois, 
 I stopping in Mason county for my family.
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 MY VISIT TO INDIANA. 
 
 On July 4th, 1875, Brother Delana and wife, and my 
 family and myself, started by private conveyance to 
 southern Indiana to hold gospel meetings. The con- 
 veyance, aforesaid, was a covered wagon, drawn by 
 a team of mules, the outfit being the property of 
 Brother Delana. The mules, as is often the case with 
 those sagacious hybrids, had their own ideas about 
 the proper length of a day's journey, which did not 
 always coincide with the opinion of the driver; and 
 if the day's drive was extended beyond what the mules 
 considered the proper distance, it must be at the ex- 
 pense of much muscular effort in wielding a whip. 
 Brother Delana was properly called a Jehu, for " he 
 drove furiously," and with his trusty " black-snake," 
 he was adequate to all demands made upon him in 
 this line. I had never been in the section of country 
 we were purposing to visit and knew no one therein, 
 but Brother Delana had grown up there and thought 
 it hopeful ground for gospel labors. We drove through 
 Mattoon, Prairie City (now called Toledo), Greenup, 
 Newton, Olney and Edwardsville to Grayville, on the 
 Wabash river, and thence down that river to New 
 Harmony, Indiana, crossing the river at that point. 
 New Harmony was founded by Robert Owen, or by 
 Robert Dale Owen, his son, on the communistic plan, 
 
 153
 
 154 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 but it had not proved a success as an investment. 
 Human nature was too strong for Socialistic theories; 
 and, though the town was dedicated to infidelity, a 
 number of Christian societies had invaded this strong- 
 hold of unbelief. This town is situated in Posey 
 county, Indiana. I had often heard this county men- 
 tioned in derision, and had supposed that it was a 
 backwoods sort of community, and that the soil was 
 rather barren. I found, to my surprise, that I was 
 much mistaken in my preconceived notions. The soil 
 is fertile and the people enterprising. It is said that 
 the county got its bad repute from the circumstance, 
 that emigrants from North Carolina and Tennessee 
 and other southern states, who were mostly poor 
 whites, in journeying toward the states further west, 
 would get as far as the Ohio river the first year 
 and cross this stream into southern Indiana, where 
 they would remain until the next fall, " making a 
 crap," when they would go to Iowa, Missouri or 
 Nebraska. In passing through Illinois, if asked where 
 they were from, they would reply, " From Posey 
 county, Indiana." Their " oufits " gave a bad im- 
 pression of the place whence they professed to come. 
 Posey county forms the southern pocket of the state, 
 and Mount Vernon is its county seat, situated on the 
 Ohio river, at the southern-most point of the state. 
 The soil is a reddish, loamy clay and is quite fertile. 
 Great quantities of watermelons are now grown there 
 and shipped to northern markets. The residents are 
 principally of southern extraction and are quite hos- 
 pitable. We stopped at a point southeast of New 
 Harmony, and about eight miles north of Mount 
 Vernon. We put up with an acquaintance of Brother
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 155 
 
 Delana's, named Lafayette Alexander, who had been 
 a fellow soldier with Brother Delana in the Civil War. 
 He was a well-to-do farmer and had a spacious resi- 
 dence, capable of accommodating us all, and he and his 
 wife were very hospitable people and made us feel 
 at home. We had been several days on our journey, 
 passing the nights in a tent with which we were 
 provided, and cooking our own meals. After spending 
 a short time at, Mr. Alexander's, we were invited to 
 put up with his father-in-law, Mr. James French, a 
 wealthy farmer of the neighborhood, and a Methodist. 
 In the vicinity was a Methodist meeting-house, which 
 was offered for our use and on the first Sunday 
 of our stay I preached in it morning and night to good 
 audiences. At night my theme was from the 24th 
 Psalm : " Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord, 
 and who shall stand in His holy place? He that hath 
 clean hands and a pure heart, etc.'' I showed that 
 the " hill of the Lord," Mount Zion, was a type of 
 the Christian church, as was the " holy place " in 
 the tabernacle which David had located on that hill ; 
 that the priests who ministered there were types of 
 Christians ; and that the questions asked in the quoted 
 passage were equivalent to the question, " Who is 
 fit for membership in the Church of Christ?" Then 
 I dwelt upon the answer to the question. Before 
 going to Indiana I had heard of a Separate Baptist 
 preacher of that vicinity by the name of J. J. Rusk; 
 that he had had trouble with some of the members 
 of his congregation and had carried a revolver with 
 which to defend himself against them. He had been 
 quite a successful preacher and had established several 
 new churches in waste places. When I closed this
 
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 sermon a stranger arose in the audience and began to 
 speak. I noticed that he seemed much affected and 
 the tears ran down his face. He began by saying that 
 what they had just heard was the truth; that it 
 presented a truth they all needed; one that he in- 
 dividually needed and he exhorted the hearers as 
 they valued their souls not to resist the truth ; that 
 it would damn any man to resist God's truth, etc. 
 At the close of the service he introduced himself to 
 me as Elder J. J. Rusk, and invited me to use his 
 pulpit, which invitation I accepted. The Separate 
 Baptists are a small sect, quite numerous in south- 
 western Indiana, with scattering societies in southern 
 Illinois and Kentucky. They are Free Will Baptists, 
 in contradistinction to the Baptists who are Calvin- 
 istic. I began meetings in Elder J. J. Rusk's church 
 at once and continued them nightly for two or more 
 weeks. Brother Rusk stood by the gospel I preached 
 with fidelity, and quite an impression was made on 
 the audiences that attended the services. The results 
 will be seen in eternity. The pastor, himself, showed 
 unusual teachableness and soon found salvation from 
 sin. During my meetings, the regular monthly meeting 
 Sunday came and the pastor preached on Saturday 
 afternoon, with an appointment for me at night. As 
 the afternoon meeting was a church meeting I did not 
 attend it. When I reached the meeting at night 
 Brother Rusk asked me if I could guess what his text 
 was in the afternoon. Of course I could not guess, 
 and he informed me that it was, " I know you that ye 
 have not the love of God in you." It was, no doubt, 
 a pointed discourse. I afterward visited several other 
 points in the county and preached. In a place called
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 157 
 
 Springfield I preached several sermons and put up 
 with an old gentleman by the name of Carl Pitts, who 
 was an extensive farmer and was then, or had re- 
 cently been, a member of the State Legislature. I 
 preached in a school house, the Methodists refusing 
 me the use of their house, but came out to hear me, 
 enduring the inconveniences of a crowded house and 
 poor seats, thus locking themselves out of their own 
 house. Such conduct seemed to me quite inconsistent 
 and foolish. Such is bigotry. I also held several 
 meetings in Mount Vernon in the Congregationalist 
 house. This society was then without a pastor. They 
 had a fine new house but its acoustic properties were 
 about equal to those of a cubical box. There was 
 nothing promising in these meetings. I preached one 
 night at a point several miles north of Mount Vernon 
 in a Baptist chapel. During the services, some prac- 
 tical jokers removed the taps from the axles of Brother 
 Delana's wagon, thus exposing the lives of the occu- 
 pants when they should start to ride home. Fortu- 
 nately the trick was discovered before any harm was 
 done. This meeting house was set up on blocks or 
 pillars and left without underpinning, and the hogs 
 had adopted the space underneath the floor for a 
 sleeping place, and the building seemed more prolific 
 of fleas than of righteousness. 
 
 During the latter part of July there was much wet 
 weather and the streams in southern Indiana and 
 Illinois overflowed their banks. The Wabash river 
 was out over the bottoms, covering hundreds of acres 
 of corn-fields. This, taken with the hot weather, 
 produced malaria. From my first coming to Illinois 
 I had been quite subject to malarial attacks in the
 
 158 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 summer and fall. About the first of August I was 
 taken sick with intermittent fever in the form of " third 
 day ague," and I was quite sick for several days, but 
 soon began to recover. Brother Delana was also at- 
 tacked with sciatic rheumatism in his knee, the result 
 of the irritation of the bullet in his hip. After having 
 spent a month or more in Indiana, we started on our 
 return trip, both Brother Delana and I being 
 somewhat incapacitated for work. When we reached 
 Mattoon Brother Delana was feeling so badly that 
 he and his wife took the train for home, leaving me 
 to drive the team the last twenty miles. It was so 
 late that we could not reach Sullivan until after night. 
 When we reached the Okaw (Kaskia) river about 
 four miles east of Sullivan, it was already dark, and 
 we found the bridge over the river had been washed 
 out by the high waters. We could see that teams 
 had been fording the river above the bridge and we 
 drove in. Now for a mile or two above the bridge 
 there were two different beds or channels of the 
 river, an old channel and a newer one which con- 
 verged just above the bridge. I was ignorant of this 
 fact and when I struck the point of the island between 
 the two channels I drove onto it and finding a road, 
 I followed it. Things did not look just right, but I 
 knew there was but the one road on the west of 
 the river and I could not see how I could be wrong. 
 After having driven a half mile or so, the moon rose 
 in front of me. I thought I was driving west, but 
 I was pretty sure that the moon rose in the east. 
 Then shortly I found a large tree lying across the 
 road. I saw that I must turn back, but the road was 
 so narrow and the trees so thick on both sides there
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 159 
 
 was no room to turn. Fortunately we had an ax with 
 us and after I had cut down several small trees we 
 were able to turn and retrace our steps. When we 
 reached the river the moonlight revealed the true state 
 of affairs, and we reached home about ten o'clock 
 without any further adventures. 
 
 We had appointed a camp-meeting in August of 
 that year to be held in the northern part of Macoupin 
 county, at a point called " Barr's Store." This place 
 was in a heavily timbered region, and, as is commonly 
 the case in Illinois in such neighborhoods, was in- 
 habited by a simple backwoods kind of people not 
 noted for enterprise nor intelligence. Contrary to 
 what I naturally expected, I have not found the gospel 
 most successful among this class of people. There 
 is usually among such persons a lack of moral stamina, 
 which is essential to success in Christian living. No 
 doubt it is as true now as when the great apostle 
 wrote it, that " not many wise men after the flesh, 
 not many noble are called, but that God hath chosen 
 the poor of this world, rich in faith and heirs of the 
 kingdom." Wealth and culture are not auxiliaries of 
 the gospel, but it is not generally the very poor, the 
 " submerged tenth," that are most easily reached by 
 the gospel message. It is the class between these two 
 extremes who are most accessible, and among whom 
 the gospel has its greatest triumphs. A fair degree of 
 intelligence and independence of character are most 
 favorable to present and final success in holy living. I 
 have often been struck with admiration of the wisdom 
 of Agur's prayer : " Remove far from me vanity and 
 lies ; give me neither poverty or riches ; feed me with 
 food convenient for me : lest I be rich and say ' who is
 
 160 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 the Lord,' or lest I be poor and steal and take the name 
 of the Lord in vain." This camp-meeting, while rea- 
 sonably well attended, was apparently one of the least 
 successful I have held. During the winter of 1875-76 
 I visited Fulton county, Illinois, and held some meet- 
 ings in the village of Liverpool on the Illinois river. 
 I had quite a good hearing, and some favorable im- 
 pressions were made, which afterward culminated in 
 the salvation of some souls in the following spring. 
 I visited the same neighborhood again but ' did my 
 preaching in a country school house on the river bluffs. 
 This was a neighborhood where they had but few re- 
 ligious meetings ; the people were careless and indif- 
 ferent and more than usually immoral. It seemed, 
 however, like a good field for religious effort and I 
 determined to continue my labors in that vicinity.
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 MORE CAMP-MEETINGS AND OTHER 
 MEETINGS. 
 
 It must not be supposed that I chronicle all the 
 meetings that I held, but only the more important ones. 
 I travelled extensively and put in most of my time 
 in gospel work. When at home I did some work in 
 garden and truck work. Meetings were held regularly 
 at my house each Sunday and each Wednesday night. 
 These meetings have been kept up regularly since 
 1871, nearly forty years at this writing. The con- 
 gregation was quite small at first but has gradually 
 increased in numbers and, I trust, in the graces of the 
 Spirit, also. We found it a difficult lesson to learn, 
 to worship God in Spirit and in truth. The first hin- 
 drance that we found that was serious was the natural 
 tendency found in all beginners, to judge one another 
 concerning things indifferent. Each person is inclined 
 to make his own conscience the standard of judgment 
 regarding the conduct of his brethren. This is grieving 
 to God and forbidden in His word, but tyros in religion 
 do this in ignorance. Each one thinks what he cannot 
 do, no one else ought to do. We gradually learned 
 the evil and error of this course, and attained to the 
 spirit of tolerance respecting things not clearly com- 
 manded nor forbidden. Another lesson not easy to 
 learn, is how to be led of the Holy Spirit in worship 
 
 161
 
 162 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 and other religious exercises. Unless we are so led, 
 our efforts will be formal and lifeless and of no benefit 
 to any one. 
 
 In August, 1876, we held a camp-meeting in Fulton 
 county, Illinois, at a point about twelve miles south, 
 and a little east, of the city of Canton. The grounds 
 were near a school house in the district Number 5 
 in township No. 5 and was consequently called " 5-5 " 
 school house. The camp ground was in a fine grove 
 of oak trees. The meeting was quite largely attended 
 and was of unusual interest. But few meetings I 
 have held were as prolific of manifest results as this 
 one. I was assisted in the preaching by Brother 
 Andrew Rynders, who had removed from his former 
 home in Waverly, Morgan county to Mason county, in 
 the vicinity of the Poplar City camp-meeting, that he 
 might look after the brethren in that section. A 
 number of persons were saved as a result of this 
 meeting, and I visited this county regularly about twice 
 each year for a number of years, preaching principally 
 at " 5-5 " and in the village of Bryant. On October 
 3rd of this year (1876), our second son was born, 
 and was named Lucius Romaine. Not long after this 
 increase in my family I visited Upper Sandusky, Ohio, 
 for the purpose of holding meetings. Brother Kellar, 
 a minister in the Church of God (commonly called 
 Winebrennarians), sent for me to visit that city and 
 preach the gospel. Brother Kellar was the father-in- 
 law of Elder D. S. Warner, who afterward organized 
 a religious society and published a periodical called 
 " The Gospel Trumpet." The religious movement 
 which culminated in the organization of the " Church 
 of God " was initiated by a preacher in Pennsylvania,
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 163 
 
 named John Winebrennar, a man of considerable 
 ability and spiritual understanding. He held truly that 
 the Church of Christ was composed of all true Chris- 
 tians, and of such only ; and that consequently it was 
 a unit. Unfortunately, he held to carnal ordinances, 
 and finally organized a sect contrary to his own teach- 
 ings. These people call their houses " Bethels," and 
 the bethel in Upper Sandusky had fallen into disuse 
 and Brother Kellar had bought it. In it I held meet- 
 ings and the attendance was encouraging. There was 
 a preacher by the name of Clemmons living in the 
 vicinity. He lived on a farm a short distance from 
 the town, and was a man of considerable wealth, 
 with a collegiate education and good natural ability. 
 He was a religious Ishmaelite, his hand being against 
 every man, and every man's hand against him. He 
 belonged to no sect, but was anti-sectarian. He 
 preached on the streets and in his manner of address 
 was abusive and intolerant, though in the main, 
 speaking the truth. He was a large man, with im- 
 posing presence and domineering disposition. He 
 made a practice of going into religious meetings and 
 interrupting the services, for which offence he was 
 afterward arrested, and it was said that he had been 
 in nearly every jail in northwestern Ohio, as well as in 
 other parts of the country. By reason of the truths he 
 told and his offensive manner of telling them he had 
 become so detested where he was best known that he 
 could get no hearing except by addressing other men's 
 congregations. I think he was sincere in his work in 
 the beginning, but had become soured by the oppo- 
 sition and persecution until he gave no one credit for 
 honesty. This man came to our meetings and at the
 
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 close of the sermon he would arise and endeavor to 
 criticise what he had heard, though really there was 
 little difference in our religious views. He endeavored 
 to show a friendly spirit by inviting me to his home, 
 which invitation I accepted, though I did not expect 
 to enjoy my visit, and was treated with courtesy and 
 hospitality. But his attitude toward the meetings did 
 not change and Brother Kellar got restive under his 
 attacks. He much disliked Mr. Clemmons anyway 
 and there was no love lost between them. I advised 
 patience, hoping he would tire of his assaults, but 
 whether he did or not I was opposed to any resistance 
 as contrary to the teachings of Christ. However, 
 Brother Kellar did not look at things in the same way 
 and determined to have Clemmons arrested. As he 
 owned the house I could not prevent him, and he called 
 a policeman and ordered him to make the arrest. 
 Clemmons had studied law and had been admitted 
 to the bar in order to be able to defend himself in 
 court, and denied that he had been disorderly, as I 
 held free meetings, and defied the policeman to arrest 
 him ; and as the officer feared to do so without a war- 
 rant, the attempt fell through, making matters worse 
 instead of better. I publicly disclaimed any responsi- 
 bility in the matter but Clemmons did not believe me. 
 However, afterward I had the opportunity of demon- 
 strating my sincerity, as he afterward attended a 
 meeting I held in Findlay, Ohio, where I had full con- 
 trol of its conduct, and where he had liberty to talk 
 all he wished until he was convinced of my honesty 
 and ceased to oppose. 
 
 In December, 1876, I revisited the scene of my labors 
 in southern Indiana. Brother Andrew Rvnders and
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 165 
 
 Brother J. R. Poland, of Mason county, accompanied 
 me. I held another series of meetings in Brother 
 Rusk's church, but I was disappointed to find that 
 Brother Rusk was not in so good a spiritual condition 
 as when I had left him more than a year before ; nor 
 has he ever since regained the lost ground. He had 
 in some way compromised or let down. He was a 
 preacher when the gospel found him and he continued 
 to preach, but either he had no call to preach or he 
 rendered his labors nugatory by unfaithfulness, since 
 he had no success in saving souls. According to Mr. 
 Wesley, the marks of a divine call and commission 
 are three : " Has he gifts ? Has he grace ? Has he 
 fruits ? " Any man having these marks is supposed 
 to be called. But the latter is the most important 
 proof of a divine call, as to have genuine fruit he 
 must have the other two marks in some degree ; while 
 a man may have gifts and grace without any call 
 to preach, and fruits are prima facie evidence of God's 
 help and consequent approval. 
 
 About the first of July, 1877, Brother Henry Cain 
 and I drove down to Clay county, Illinois, about sixty 
 miles south of Sullivan, where he had relatives and 
 acquaintances. Brother Cain had been a very wicked 
 man, according to his own testimony, and the change 
 made by grace was so marked as to appear wonderful 
 to those who had known him in his wickedness. It 
 was a fulfillment of the scripture, " Behold, I work a 
 work in your day, a work which ye will in no wise be- 
 lieve, though a man tell it unto you." He held out for 
 many years, and when past the scripture limit of life, 
 died in great peace, " As fades a summer cloud away." 
 We put up with his brother-in-law, J. M. Aldrich, in
 
 166 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 the neighborhood of Keen's chapel, where I had an 
 appointment to preach. The word was well received 
 and while we were in that neighborhood we made ar- 
 rangements to hold camp-meeting in August at a point 
 about half way between the villages Tola and LaClede. 
 The camp-meeting began at the time appointed and 
 proved to be one of the most important and successful 
 meetings I have ever held. Brother Rusk was there 
 to assist me, accompanied by another Baptist minister 
 by the name of F. M. Kerr. Mr. Kerr was about to 
 withdraw from the Baptists and come out on an in- 
 dependent line. He afterward removed from Indiana 
 to Clay county and lived in lola for several years, and 
 then for a short time in Fulton county, during this 
 time collaborating with me ; but becoming dissatisfied, 
 he returned to Indiana and the Baptist communion. 
 Both he and Brother Rusk had been soldiers in the 
 Civil War and both obtained pensions from the govern- 
 ment to assist in their support in their old age. Mr. 
 Kerr had good abilities as a preacher but had little 
 success in evangelistic work. The congregation wor- 
 shipping in Keen chapel were Protestant Methodists 
 and their pastor was a man named Gentry, who lived 
 in the neighborhood. He became displeased with the 
 preaching at the camp-meeting and made threats of 
 running us off the ground if we did not leave volun- 
 tarily. This we declined to do. In conducting a camp- 
 meeting, I have never called upon the civil powers for 
 police protection, nor did we have any guards of 
 our own stationed about the camp during the night. 
 We believe in the doctrine of non-resistance, and prac- 
 tice what we preach. We depended upon the Lord 
 above to preserve order and give us protection. When
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 167 
 
 the services were over at night we all retired to our 
 tents, extinguished our lights and went to sleep, and 
 of the numerous meetings of the kind which I have 
 held though the truth was fearlessly preached, which 
 is abhorred by the multitude, we had no disorder and 
 were never disturbed. I afterward learned, however, 
 that had Mr. Gentry attempted to carry out his threat 
 he would have met with a warm reception from citi- 
 zens of the neighborhood, who volunteered to protect 
 us, and had established a guard around the camp. 
 This conduct on the part of Mr. Gentry proved to 
 be a boomerang and in a few years his congregation 
 was entirely wiped out, and the chapel took fire and 
 burned to the ground. Mr. Gentry afterward became 
 friendly and would come to hear me preach when I 
 held meetings in his neighborhood. This was prob- 
 ably the most successful camp-meeting I ever held and 
 its results are the most enduring. For thirty-four 
 years I have continued to visit that community and 
 hold meetings two or more times each year. A number 
 have been saved, among them several of whom have 
 passed over to the other shore. 
 
 Shortly after the close of this meeting I held another 
 camp-meeting in Scott county, Illinois, a few miles 
 east of Winchester. There had been much gospel 
 preaching in this part of the country and nothing 
 remarkable occurred during this meeting. After its 
 close, if I remember correctly, I held a grove-meeting 
 in Morgan county, near Murrayville, before returning 
 home. I do not remember the meetings I held during 
 the fall and the winter of 1877-78, but most of my time 
 was spent in evangelistic work. In April, 1878, 
 Brother Delana and I made a trip to western Iowa.
 
 168 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 We went by way of Mason county, Illinois, and 
 Brother J. R. Poland accompanied us to eastern Iowa, 
 where his brother Joseph lived, and we stopped with 
 his family and held some meetings in a school house 
 nearby. We left Mason county in a snowstorm 
 and by the time we reached Iowa, in the neighborhood 
 of West Liberty, there was a heavy blanket of snow 
 on the ground and the weather was frigid. It was 
 the heaviest snow and the coldest weather I have 
 ever seen in April. At the close of these meetings 
 Brother Delana and I proceeded on our way to Craw- 
 ford county, but Brother Poland went no further. 
 In 1871 Brothers David McCord and Joseph Duncan, 
 whose wives were sisters, removed from Arcola, Illi- 
 nois, to Crawford county, Iowa, and settled upon 
 raw land, deeded to their wives by their father-in-law. 
 In 1872 W. A. Duncan and his wife, Sister Lydia 
 Duncan, removed to the same county. In the fall 
 of 1876 Brother Andrew Rynders and I held a little 
 camp-meeting at Dow City, in that county which I 
 forgot to mention in its proper place. This was the 
 year of the plague of grasshoppers in western Iowa. 
 They were equal to the eastern locusts in their de- 
 struction of vegetation. The brethren in that county 
 had been holding regular meetings and as we learned 
 that there had been some friction among them we 
 hoped to settle matters satisfactorily by visiting them. 
 It finally developed that the trouble arose from the 
 fact that some of them were real Christians and 
 some were not and they could not walk together 
 because they were not agreed. 
 
 On July 5th. 1878, our third son was born and 
 was named Clement Eugene. We were having the
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 169 
 
 most torrid spell of weather we have had in forty 
 years. The present summer (1911) gives promise of 
 approaching it. So soon as I could leave my wife, 
 the hot weather continuing, I went to Fulton county 
 to hold a grove-meeting. The location of the meeting 
 was at a point on the west bluff of the Illinois river, 
 southeast of Canton. I put up with the family on 
 whose land the meeting was held. The house had 
 no screens and the flies swarmed by day and the 
 mosquitoes by night. I preached on Friday night, 
 three times on Saturday and three times on Sunday. 
 I got but little rest or sleep for three nights on account 
 of the mosquitos. I had a strong constitution, but 
 the intense heat, the labor of outdoor preaching, and 
 the loss of sleep combined were almost too much for 
 my endurance and I suffered with symptoms of sun- 
 stroke for two days afterward, and did not entirely 
 recover from the effects during the remainder of the 
 summer. 
 
 My sister, Martha Ellen, had come to visit us in 
 1875 and concluded to remain in Illinois. Not long 
 after her arrival she found salvation. In June, 1876, 
 she was united in marriage with Brother Samuel A. 
 Poland, of Mason county. In the spring of 1878 they 
 removed to Sullivan and rented a farm north of the 
 city. Here, on July 6th, their first child, a son, was 
 born to them, being one day younger than our latest 
 child. When the children we-re not more than a 
 month old, Brother Poland and I took our families 
 to attend a camp-meeting, which I had appointed 
 near the village of Oskaloosa, in Clay county, Illinois. 
 This meeting was well attended but did not have the 
 success that attended the one held in the same county
 
 170 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 the year before. Nothing occurred at it particularly 
 worthy of note. Immediately on our return home, 
 I began to get ready for another camp-meeting, which 
 I had appointed to be held near Civer, Fulton county, 
 a few miles west of Canton. Our wives were not 
 strong and Brother Poland and I provided tubs and 
 washboards and did a large washing under our wives' 
 supervision. We went to the Civer camp-meeting 
 in Brother Poland's wagon. The distance was nearly 
 one hundred and fifty miles. We started so as to 
 reach the camp grounds on Friday evening, as the 
 first service was to be held on Friday night. We had 
 two mishaps on the way. One afternoon , Lucius, 
 who was nearly two years old, was taken with a spasm 
 as we rode along in the heat, though the wagon had 
 a cover on it, and we were compelled to stop and 
 procure hot water to bathe him. This soon gave him 
 relief. After our start I was taken with the ague. 
 The first attack was light and soon passed off. The 
 next day I felt about as usual, but on the third day. 
 which was Friday, when we were not many miles 
 from the camp ground, after we had stopped for 
 dinner, my chill came on and it was as severe a 
 one as I ever had suffered. I lay down in the wagon 
 and shook it with the violence of my chill. Then 
 the fever raged all the afternoon. I could travel no 
 further that day and we had to pitch our tent and 
 lie over until the next morning. There were four 
 preachers on the ground, Elders Rynders, Rusk, Kerr 
 and myself. Brethren were in attendance from a dis- 
 tance and the audiences were large. On Sunday I 
 was due to have another chill and I tried to persuade 
 the other preachers that one of them should preach
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. m 171 
 
 (I had always been accorded the hour on Sunday 
 morning), but none of them was willing to take the 
 responsibility and I was forced to make the attempt. 
 There were probably a thousand to fifteen hundred 
 hearers present. I made the attempt to preach, and 
 got along very well until about two-thirds through 
 my discourse, when I felt the chill attacking me and 
 my breath began to shorten. I closed as promptly as 
 I could and went to my tent, where I had another 
 severe chill followed by hot fever. A physician of 
 the neighborhood came to me and insisted on giving 
 me quinine, I objected to taking it on account of its 
 effect on my head. He said if I did not take it I 
 would have another chill on Tuesday as certain as 
 Tuesday came. I replied, " All right, I will not take 
 quinine and I will not have another chill." And I 
 did not, but I felt unwell during the whole meeting. 
 
 Up to the fall of 1878 we had lived since my 
 second marriage in a part of Brother Delana's house 
 in the south part of the city. I had taken a little 
 money that my wife had inherited from her maternal 
 grandfather's estate and had built an addition to 
 Brother Delana's house, he agreeing to refund the 
 money when we ceased to use the house, but my 
 family had so increased that we needed more room 
 and we removed to a house in the north part of the 
 city. 
 
 I think it was during the winter of 1878-79 that 
 I received an invitation to visit Howard county, In- 
 diana, and hold meetings. A family named Johnson 
 had removed there from Clay county, Illinois, where 
 they had heard me preach. The point to which I 
 went was a few miles northwest of the city of Ko-
 
 172 > HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 komo, in a section of country quite thickly inhabited. 
 The meetings were held in a deserted Methodist 
 meeting-house, which was still in good repair, but not 
 often used, as there was no society nor regular meet- 
 ings, therein. I began the meetings on Friday night 
 and held, I think, two services each day. On Sat- 
 urday afternoon, after I had begun speaking a gen- 
 tleman came in and took his seat in front of me, 
 about half way between me and the door. Of course 
 he was a perfect stranger to me, but I at once found 
 myself addressing my remarks to him as though he 
 constituted the whole audience, and this continued 
 whenever he was in the congregation. On Sunday 
 morning a local preacher from a distance had an ap- 
 pointment to speak there, but it was thought to be 
 doubtful about his being present. I told the people 
 that I would preach if he did not, but he was present 
 and preached a fine sermon from the text " We are a 
 spectacle to men and angels," but it was very evident 
 that the sermon was not original, which spoiled its 
 effect. He had invited me into the pulpit with him 
 and, as I had expected, he invited me to close the 
 meeting after him. The first thing to be done was 
 to read and sing a hymn. As I saw he was about 
 to close his discourse I picked up a hymn-book lying 
 on the desk. After a short consideration I had con- 
 cluded to read Charles Wesley's hymn beginning: 
 " Which of the monarchs of the earth can boast a 
 guard like ours," etc. 
 
 I had supposed the hymn-book to be the Methodist 
 collection and I thought I could soon turn to this 
 hymn, but I found it to be one with which I was 
 unacquainted, and I did not know whether it con-
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 173 
 
 tained the hymn in question. However, as the 
 preacher sat down I opened the book and, strange 
 to relate, I opened it at that identical hymn. The 
 congregation had been listless during the sermon, but 
 as I began to read I felt the power of God, and they 
 began to take notice. We sang and I talked half an 
 hour with such liberty and power as I have seldom 
 experienced. I was invited to dinner by a family 
 in the neighborhood, and found the man to whom I 
 had been preaching also a guest. He proved to be 
 a United Brethren preacher by the name of Turflinger. 
 He remained in the vicinity a day or two longer and 
 then left. Before going we exchanged addresses and 
 he declared himself convinced of the truth of what 
 he had heard, and expressed an intention to preach 
 the same doctrines, though aware that they were un- 
 popular. I have never since heard from him. I con- 
 tinued the meetings after his departure, but though 
 I had large audiences I had the strange and unique 
 experience of feeling as if I was preaching to an 
 empty house. There did not seem to be a hearing 
 ear present. As I could feel little interest in such 
 labors I closed the meetings and returned home. I 
 seemed to have been sent to preach the gospel to but 
 one person. 
 
 In the fall of 1878 I did some preaching in the 
 city of Findlay, Ohio. Brother Samuel Furgeson, 
 when a young man, had lived in Findlay, and in 
 company with his brother, had carried on the busi- 
 ness of manufacturing carriages. He had come to 
 Illinois and married and was living in Sullivan when 
 I first preached there, and received the gospel I 
 preached. He had formerly belonged to the " Church
 
 174 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 of God." He had returned to Findlay and through 
 him the local society of the " Church of God " heard 
 of me and invited me to visit them and assist their 
 pastor in revival meetings. This proposal did not 
 commend itself to me, as I doubted my ability to 
 work in harmony with them, but I did not feel at 
 liberty to refuse the invitation. Their pastor was a 
 younger man than I and quite enthusiastic. We were 
 to preach on alternate nights, but I stipulated in the 
 start that I was not to be expected to take part in 
 the " altar exercises," as I had repudiated them as 
 being injurious. The older members of the society 
 received my preachings very well, but the young people 
 were not pleased with it. I soon found what I ex- 
 pected, that my preaching spread a wet blanket over 
 their enthusiasm. It had the same effect as that 
 of the colored preacher who inveighed against chicken 
 stealing. " It frew a coldness ober the meetin'." How- 
 ever, they bore with me with great patience; they 
 could not deny that I told them the truth. At length 
 one night after I had preached, and " mourners " 
 were called for, there came to the " altar " a strange 
 lot of mourners. They seemed to have put on all the 
 available jewelry and feathers, etc., and they not only 
 looked, but behaved unusually for sinsick persons. It 
 was evidently a conspiracy to burlesque me, and I re- 
 solved to meet it. At the close of the exercises 
 I asked for an opportunity to speak. I asked the 
 congregation not to think that I was promoting that 
 kind of work. I told them that the road to hell 
 was crowded with that sort of Christians, and that 
 my preaching had no tendency to increase the number, 
 and that I claimed no share in such success. In a
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. . 175 
 
 short time I returned home. I learned afterward 
 that they had quite a successful revival after I left. 
 Their pastor said he did not want to give sinners 
 too much truth on the start, but would make up for 
 the lack afterwards. My plan has been to crowd 
 just as much truth as possible between a sinner and 
 Christ; if he will not receive it on the start so far 
 as he can understand it, he never will. If a soul is 
 going to balk at the truth he would better do so at 
 the start. The United States government has been 
 accused of deception in that it conceals from recruits 
 for the army the most disagreeable features, and the 
 hardships of a soldier's life. The Lord JesUs Christ 
 does not use any false pretense in seeking recruits 
 for His army. He desires that every man shall know 
 the worst so far as he can know it before he enlists, 
 so that he may afterward have no excuse for desertion.
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 CAMP-MEETINGS AND OTHER MEETINGS. 
 (CONTINUED.) 
 
 In December, 1878, I made a trip to Iowa for gospel 
 work. I first visited Bangor, in Marshall county, and 
 held a series of meetings. Some of the brethren in 
 this place had attended some of the camp-meetings 
 in Illinois. Bangor was a " Quaker " settlement and 
 the " Friends " had a chapel here. Most of the anti- 
 sect people here had formerly been Quakers. I 
 preached in the school house to rather small audiences 
 and without any visible success. I attended a Quaker 
 meeting on Sunday morning, the only one I have ever 
 been in. I think but one of the members of the con- 
 gregation spoke during the interview. After sitting 
 silent for quite a time I felt moved to make some 
 remarks on the following passage : " They that wait 
 upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall 
 mount up upon wings as eagles ; they shall run and 
 not be weary ; they shall walk and not faint." I stated 
 first that sitting silent in the meeting was not neces- 
 sarily " waiting upon the Lord." That we could 
 know whether or not we were waiting upon the Lord 
 by the results. If we waited upon the Lord we should 
 renew our strength. We should discern whether or 
 not we renewed our strength by the signs mentioned. 
 At the very least " We should walk and not faint." 
 If we could not walk in God's commandments without 
 
 176
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 177 
 
 fainting, our strength had not been renewed and we 
 had not waited upon the Lord. But we might have 
 our strength renewed so far as to " run and not 
 be weary" and even to-mount up on wings as eagles 
 and thus fly toward heaven, etc. No one made any 
 further remarks and the meeting closed. 
 
 The winter of 1878-79 was a very cold one, and I 
 was dressed hardly warm enough for that latitude. 
 When I was ready to leave Bangor Brother Fred- 
 erick Albright took me to the station at State Center. 
 We started before sunrise in a sled with the mercury 
 20 degrees below zero. I did not get out of the 
 sled during the whole distance and did not suffer 
 severely, but when I got to the fire I shook for an 
 hour as with ague. I resolved then never to so 
 expose myself again. I found the weather no milder 
 in Crawford county and when the wind was high 
 I could not endure facing it. I held some meetings 
 in this county and visited with the brethren. On 
 my return home I met my wife and children in 
 Decatur, Illinois', where she was visiting friends. On 
 our arriving at home we found the walls and ceiling 
 of our sitting-room covered with frost crystals owing 
 to the intense cold, and all the vegetables in the house 
 were frozen solid though my wife thought she had 
 them well protected. But the frame houses of those 
 days in this section of the country were built often 
 without other foundation than a few blocks, and with- 
 out what is called underpinning. This gave the winds 
 free course under the floors; and the walls con- 
 sisted only of weather boarding on the outside and 
 lath and two coats of plastering on the inside with no 
 lining inside or outside. They build differently now.
 
 178 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 The years from 1873 to 1879 up to the resumption 
 of specie payment by the government were very hard 
 on the wage-earners and those who were in debt. 
 Many of the farmers were 'in debt on their farms 
 and were hard pressed to pay interest. The currency 
 was appreciating and consequently other things were 
 depreciating in value. Land was cheap and had little 
 demand, produce was also low in value. It would 
 seem that in such time of financial stress the man 
 who preached a free gospel and asked no man for 
 a dollar, and who was without private means and 
 had no visible means of support would starve, or at 
 least become perfectly destitute. But though we were 
 quite poor and our family increased in number from 
 three to six we never were in actual want and never 
 suffered from hunger or cold. Neither did we be- 
 come ragged nor by an appearance of destitution 
 appeal to the sympathies of others. The Lord did 
 not permit us to discredit His gospel by such a show 
 of poverty. He graciously provided for all our actual 
 needs. But our faith was often sorely tried and we 
 were forced to use the utmost economy and frugality. 
 My wife became expert at making new clothes for 
 the boys out of my old ones, and we were able 
 always to appear decently dressed or even well dressed 
 in public. In my leisure times I cultivated a truck 
 patch and garden, and often assisted brethren or 
 friends in their labors at carpentering, hay-making 
 or anything else that I could do. I never was ashamed 
 of honest toil though I never professed great liking 
 for manual labor, as my tastes ran in other directions. 
 But whatever I have done, whether in physical toil
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 179 
 
 or in intellectual pursuits I have always done with 
 my might. We lived on an income of about four 
 hundred dollars a year when beefsteak was 10 to 
 121/2 cents a pound and but eight or nine pounds of 
 sugar were given for a dollar. Clothing was also 
 costly. In the spring of 1878 I had a present of a 
 cow and ever since that time we have owned at 
 least one cow. This cow, with a little cheap house- 
 hold furniture and a few chickens, constituted all 
 my worldly wealth. The assessor and the tax col- 
 lector passed me by as not worthy of notice. As 
 I had no assured income, I made no debts but paid 
 ready money for everything. I took it as an axiom 
 that if the Lord was to furnish me with all I needed, 
 He would furnish it when I needed it. My children 
 were strong and healthy and I have yet to call a 
 physician to one of them. I have, however, called 
 a surgeon. 
 
 In the spring of 1879 Brother Lark Delana died. 
 When I met him in the winter of 1868-69 he was a 
 Methodist local preacher, travelling a circuit as a 
 " supply." He fell in with the gospel I preached 
 and was active in the propagation of the truth, though 
 he did not labor as a preacher. For nearly ten 
 years he was with me in the meetings and was never 
 so busy that he could not leave his work, hitch up 
 his team and go to assist in a meeting. His zeal was 
 unquestionable. He was a very ignorant man and 
 had the assurance about things that usually goes with 
 ignorance. He had had a good deal of experience 
 in the world, having been a California gold seeker 
 and a soldier in the Civil War. His labors in the 
 meetings were not generally well received as his
 
 180 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 manner of address was irritating. He also got the 
 idea that he had some sort of oversight over things 
 in the church, which tended to hinder liberty in the 
 meetings, but his intentions were no doubt good, and, 
 though I found his labors something of a handicap 
 in the meetings, .yet I trust he was a good man and 
 has gone to his heavenly reward. 
 
 This was the first year for nine years that I had 
 held no camp-meeting; but in August Brother Jasper 
 Shaw, of Fulton county, went with me to Schuyler 
 county, Missouri, to the neighborhood in which his 
 father lived, for the purpose of holding a grove- 
 meeting. This meeting differed from a camp-meeting 
 in that no one camped on the ground, and that it 
 was attended only by people of the neighborhood. 
 This was the most successful grove-meeting I have 
 ever held, and was largely attended. It began on 
 Friday night and continued over the second Sunday. 
 Hundreds of people were in attendance and especially 
 on Sunday were the audiences large. I preached 
 three times each day with unusual liberty. There 
 was a southern Methodist society which met in a 
 school house nearby, and on the second Sunday their 
 pastor held an opposition meeting to keep his people 
 away from the grove-meeting, but his effort was a 
 flat failure, and his evident hostility reacted against 
 him and his cause, and the upshot was the disintegra- 
 tion of his society. Quite a number were convinced 
 of the truth I preached and a little society was formed 
 which met regularly for years. Some of them were 
 really saved from sin and lived holy and exemplary 
 lives but the leaders are now dead and the society 
 is scattered. Brother Peter Swanson, the leader
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 181 
 
 among them died but a few months ago (in 1910) at 
 quite an advanced, age. The influence of the work 
 will not soon die. I visited this point again in the 
 following winter and held meetings in the Swanson 
 school house. 
 
 In the winter of 1879-80 I was again called to 
 Ohio to hold meetings. I first went to Upper San- 
 dusky to hold meetings in Brother Keller's " bethel." 
 He had removed from his. farm and now lived in 
 the city. The meetings continued for a week or more 
 but did not seen to make much impression upon the 
 people. I went to Findlay and held meetings in the 
 county court house. I was annoyed each night by a 
 friend who had more zeal than knowledge or dis- 
 cretion. I taught that the Lord could save a sinner 
 with one effort. He believed that it would require 
 two efforts on the part of Deity and he thought it 
 his bounden duty to set me right. But if his reasoning 
 had been as logical as that of St. Paul he would have 
 convinced no one, since he would soon become 
 so excited that his speech would become tangled 
 up so that no one could understand what he 
 said. After enduring his nonsense for a few nights 
 I was forced to abridge his liberty of speech, as the 
 county officers had stipulated when they gave their 
 consent for the use of the house that there .should 
 be no undue noise nor confusion in the meetings. 
 These services continued for several days until they 
 were brought to a close by an accident. In walking 
 across a yard from one house to another on Saturday 
 evening after dark, I stepped into a hole and was 
 thrown headlong, striking the bridge of my nose on a 
 lead trough at the corner of one of the houses, with
 
 182 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 such force as to fracture the bone. Of course my 
 face was soon so swollen as to make me unpresent- 
 able, while the congestion in my nose made enuncia- 
 tion difficult, so all further appointments were can- 
 celled. I had to remain in the city until Monday, as 
 there were no Sunday trains. By that time the 
 swelling was gone, but I had acquired a pair of 
 black eyes in addition to a pair of blue ones. How- 
 ever, I put on a pair of colored spectacles, pulled 
 a soft hat low over my face, and reached home with- 
 out attracting attention or comment. Of course ex- 
 planations were due to my friends at home, but a 
 reputation for sobriety is sometimes of much value 
 in averting suspicion. 
 
 I think of nothing of interest that occurred during 
 the spring and early summer of 1880. 
 
 In August of this year we held a camp-meeting 
 in Morgan county, Illinois, near the village of Franklin. 
 This meeting was quite largely attended. Elders Ryn- 
 ders, Rusk, Kerr and myself were in attendance and 
 another minister named Templeton, who had recently 
 withdrawn from the Free Methodists. He was a 
 Scotchman of good family, of more than ordinary 
 intellectual abilities, having had a fine education, and 
 was a good preacher. However, he was unfortun- 
 ately erratic, and at times afflicted with mental ab- 
 berration. At such times he was abusive and cruel to 
 his wife, a meek little woman, who would not resist 
 him, but she felt forced to expose his conduct. This 
 created strong prejudice against him, and conduct, 
 which to me seemed un-Christian on the part of some,
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 183 
 
 especially some of the preachers. It seemed that they 
 could not understand that the man was irresponsible 
 when demented. Their conduct may have been the 
 result of their horror at unkindness to a wife, but 
 it had some of the earmarks of jealousy. The man 
 afterward died in an insane asylum. 
 
 During this same summer, and, I think, subsequently 
 to the camp-meeting, I held another grove-meeting in 
 Schuyler county, Missouri, on the same ground as on 
 the preceding year. This meeting was also largely 
 attended and was quite successful. One of the ob- 
 jections made by sectists to the meetings was that old 
 sinners who never attended any other meetings 
 regularly attended mine. But I remembered that many 
 gladly heard Christ who had no use for the Pharisees. 
 Brother Peter Swanson's wife had died recently and 
 left a little child, which died during my visit, and I 
 was asked to hold short services in the cemetery, 
 during which I offered public prayer. This was the 
 first time the people had heard me pray, as I seldom 
 pray publicly at a preaching service. I noticed nothing 
 extraordinary in this prayer, but those who heard 
 it seemed much impressed by it. I visited a sick man 
 in the afternoon and some of the people followed 
 me to his house, hoping to hear me pray again. I 
 have learned of a number of instances in which persons 
 have been thus powerfully impressed by my prayers. 
 One man declared that he had never before heard a 
 prayer. I will give another instance. One of my 
 neighbors in Sullivan had for some reason conceived 
 a violent dislike for me. He had a death in his 
 family and I felt much impressed to attend the funeral 
 though I suspected that the man would not be pleased
 
 184 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 to have me do so. The funeral services were at his 
 residence and were conducted by the local Methodist 
 pastor, as the man was a Methodist. Though doubting 
 my welcome I felt inwardly urged to go, and went. 
 I got into a back room, making myself as inconspic- 
 uous as possible, hoping to escape notice. But the 
 officiating minister recognized me and came to me 
 with an invitation to offer a prayer. I feared that 
 my taking part in the services would displease the 
 family; but he assured me that it would be all right, 
 so I consented and offered prayer. On the following 
 Sunday this minister spoke of me to his congregation, 
 declaring that he believed me a good man, as he had 
 heard me pray, and had never before heard such a 
 prayer. Also the man who had been my enemy was 
 ever afterward a friend. I speak of these things be- 
 cause I have been condemned in some quarters for 
 my teaching and practice with respect to prayer. I 
 would rather offer one prayer that the hearers could 
 recognize as taking hold on God than ten thousand 
 that are mere lip service. My severest critics are 
 much given to public prayer, even as were the Phari- 
 sees, but I have never heard of their prayers im- 
 pressing any one as being out of the ordinary. 
 
 On September 17th of this year our hearts were 
 gladdened by the birth of a daughter, our first. We 
 named her Nannie Persis. The name Nannie was 
 in memory of my first wife. My wife did not re- 
 cover from her confinement as promptly as usual, 
 but was troubled with a cough which some thought 
 indicated pulmonary affection. When she felt able 
 to travel, about November 1st, we went on a visit 
 to Winchester, Illinois. My wife's brother, Russell
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 185 
 
 M. Magill, having married some time previously, we 
 put up with him for a week or two. My wife's health 
 began to improve at once and she was soon in her 
 usual health. While she and the children stayed with 
 her brother I went over into Morgan county, in the 
 vicinity of the late camp-ground and held a series of 
 meetings in a school house. The winter came on 
 early that year and before my return to Winchester 
 there was a heavy fall of snow and zero weather. 
 After a visit of about a month we returned home. 
 
 I travelled and held meetings during the remainder 
 of the winter and during the spring of 1881, but I 
 remember nothing worthy of record. My stepmother 
 visited us in the summer of this year and spent several 
 weeks with us and her daughter. In August we held 
 a camp-meeting in Knox county, Illinois, at a place 
 called Hazel Dell, several miles southeast of Knox- 
 ville. Before this camp-meeting I went to Fulton 
 county, taking my family with me, and held a grove- 
 meeting near Lewistown, the county seat, on the farm 
 of a man by the name^of Boardner. He was a very 
 old man, nearly one hundred years old, but, I think, 
 died before he reached the century mark. His wife, 
 however, lived to be considerably over one hundred 
 years old. They were Brother Jasper Shaw's grand- 
 parents. We put up during the meetings with Moses 
 Boardner, a son of the gentleman's, where we were 
 very hospitably treated. This meeting was well at- 
 tended and considerable interest was manifested. At 
 the close of the grove-meeting we drove through in 
 a wagon to the vicinity of the camp-meeting, stopping 
 with Brother Henry Thurman until the camp-meeting 
 was ready. This meeting was quite successful and
 
 186 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 was well attended by the brethren and by the people 
 of the neighborhood. There was a man from Indiana, 
 claiming to be a brother, who was a stranger to us. 
 He also claimed to be a preacher. His name was 
 Ansel Raper. He has since become somewhat notor- 
 ious as a travelling evangelist under the name of 
 Reaper. He has been accused of false teachings and 
 immoralities and I fear that the charge may not be 
 without foundation. Brother Solomon Miller, of 
 Bangor, Iowa, became offended at this meeting and 
 withdrew. He thought we had too much liberty and 
 were not solemn enough. He seemed to feel that it 
 was a sin to laugh, or to appreciate anything humorous. 
 I believe him to have been an honest man, serving 
 God in the spirit of the elder brother in the parable 
 of the Prodigal Son, but he could not tolerate the 
 sound of feasting when the fatted calf was eaten, so 
 he chose to stay outside. It is difficult for unspiritual 
 men to distinguish between sinful liberty and Chris- 
 tian liberty, and to avoid the one they miss the other 
 and become slaves to fear. M/y wife suffered severely 
 at this meeting from an abscess on her face, which was 
 about at its worst when the meeting closed.
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 I BECOME A FARMER. 
 
 In the spring of 1882 Sister Shearer died in Win- 
 chester and I was sent for to conduct the funeral 
 services. She had not enjoyed good health for many 
 years, having had pulmonary trouble of that slow 
 nature in which the lungs gradually waste away. But 
 in May of this year she was seized with pneumonia, 
 and, having had but one lung left, she soon succumbed 
 to that fatal disease. Several years before her death 
 she and her husband had taken into their home a 
 young woman by the name of Clara Lancaster and 
 she kept house for Brother Shearer after his wife's 
 death. Brother Shearer's health was also quite poor, 
 though up to the time of his wife's death, or not long 
 before that event, he had continued to work at his 
 trade of harness making. The year before they had 
 gone to Texas for the benefit of his health but with 
 little avail. In August of 1882 he sent for my wife 
 and myself to come and take care of him, as he was 
 bedfast and expecting to die soon. He had become 
 suspicious of his housekeeper and alarmed at her 
 conduct when he learned that she was carrying off 
 some of the household effects. We shut up our 
 house and went to him at once, and remained with 
 him until his death, which occurred before the month 
 was out. He and Sister Shearer were good people. 
 
 187
 
 188 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 They had opened their house for the meetings of 
 the brethren in that vicinity, which were held each 
 week, for years. Brother Shearer left his property 
 by will to my oldest son, Paul. It was but a few 
 hundred dollars. During the fall of this year I visited 
 my old home in Ohio. My father and stepmother 
 were still living, though neither of them was in good 
 health. I remained with them several weeks and mean- 
 ' while preached when I had opportunity. When the 
 time came for me to return home, my father took 
 me to the railroad station in Warren, gave me a five 
 dollar gold piece and went up town until the train 
 left. He could not trust himself to bid me good-bye. 
 I never saw him again. In less than three years after 
 that he died of valvular disease of .the heart, ac- 
 companied by heart enlargement. My stepmother 
 had preceded him to the spirit world. My father 
 was that rara avis an honest man. I do not think 
 he ever intentionally wronged any man out of a cent. 
 Though he did not leave property enough behind him 
 to pay all his debts, his children saw that they were 
 paid. He was justice of the peace for twenty-five 
 years, and was often appointed by the court as ad- 
 ministrator and conservator, and though possessing 
 little of this world's goods ' he could give bond for 
 thirty thousand dollars, so great was the confidence 
 in his honesty. He was honest in other senses as 
 well as in money matters. As a magistrate he was a 
 peace maker, and would forego his costs at any time 
 to settle a dispute. He spent much time and labor in 
 persuading litigants to settle their differences without 
 going to law and he much disliked to sit as justice 
 on a case. He said in each instance he would make
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 189 
 
 one doubtful friend and one sure enemy. His funeral 
 was the most largely attended of any ever held in 
 the township in which he had lived so long, and in 
 which he died. 
 
 The property left by Brother Shearer consisted of 
 a house and two lots and as the only way to get 
 any income from it was to rent it out, it was con- 
 stantly exposed to loss by fire. Besides, the class of 
 tenants who would occupy a house of its character 
 was not reliable, and as I did not patronize insurance 
 companies, and as I was not at liberty to go to law 
 to collect rents nor to eject tenants who refused to 
 pay, the property did not promise to prove remun- 
 erative. So I thought it best, if I could do so", to sell 
 it and invest in land at Sullivan. The land would 
 not burn and we could cultivate it ourselves. Besides, 
 the land would increase in value, while the house 
 would deteriorate. Brother John Poland had come 
 to Sullivan from Mason county and desired to buy 
 some land. There were forty acres in the southern 
 part of the city to be had for two thousand dollars. 
 He could pay for but half of it, ' and I agreed to 
 take the other twenty acres, he to pay ten hundred 
 and fifty for his half nearest town, and I the balance 
 out of what I should get for the Winchester property. 
 But the judge of probate in Scott county spoiled my 
 plan, for when I made application through the ad- 
 ministrator for leave to sell to pay debts of which 
 there were a few, he refused permission. As it would 
 be costly to take the matter up to the chancery court 
 I gave it up, and as I could not repudiate my agreement 
 with Brother Poland without injuring him, I kept 
 the land myself, being able to raise most of the money
 
 190 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 on a mortgage. The probate judge is supposed to 
 look after the interest of his wards, but Judge Callan, 
 though he may have meant well, made a great mistake. 
 The Winchester property declined in value by the 
 time Paul became of age, while the land it would 
 have then purchased is worth fifteen times as much 
 as it was then. By the year 1883 my two older sons 
 had become old enough to do something toward 
 earning their living when out of school. I needed 
 their small help and they needed employment to keep 
 them out of idleness. I thought the matter over care- 
 fully and prayerfully. There were two courses open 
 to me, either to hire the boys out or to furnish work 
 myself. My principal objection to hiring them out 
 was the influence it might have upon them. There 
 were two dangers in this course, first the unfavorable 
 influence the bad example of others might exert, and 
 secondly, the weakening of home influence which 
 would inevitably result from their absence from home. 
 I had seen the evil results of this in brethren's children 
 who were older than mine. When this home and 
 personal influence is once lost it can never be re- 
 gained. It would be much the easier way to hire 
 them out and collect their earnings ; it would save 
 me much trouble. Besides, preaching the gospel was 
 my vocation from which I did not wish to be diverted ; 
 I wanted no avocation. Then again I had no means 
 to go into any business with. Farming seemed the 
 only business open to me and that would require a 
 team and implements for which I would be com- 
 pelled to go into debt. But the spiritual influence 
 of my children was paramount, and could not be 
 jeopardized under any consideration. And let me
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 191 
 
 say here that the result has fully justified and vin- 
 dicated the wisdom of my decision. So I became 
 a farmer. The first year, 1883, I farmed only the 
 twenty acres that I had bought. I bought no team 
 nor farming utensils but hired the breaking done and 
 did the cultivating with a horse and double shovel 
 plough. We also did a good deal of hoeing. The 
 land had been rented out and had been ploughed in 
 narrow lands thrown up toward the center, cultivated 
 when wet and otherwise butchered up. The whole 
 surface was covered with cockle burs, so we had our 
 work cut out for us. I raised a fair crop this first 
 year, but did not prove much of a success as a 
 farmer on the whole. In the first place, I had had 
 no experience. I had worked on a farm in my boy- 
 hood, but farming in Ohio in the fifties and in Illinois 
 in the eighties were two different propositions. I 
 felt my ignorance and sought advice, but my advisers 
 really knew little more about farming than I did. It 
 takes long experience to learn how to farm success- 
 fully, and those most competent are the least ready 
 to give advice. They know the uncertainties and the 
 contingencies to be reckoned with. Then the land 
 I could rent had generally been run in corn until it 
 needed rest, and it usually had become infested with 
 weeds, especially cockle-burs. The prevalence of this 
 weed was attested by the condition of the tails of 
 the farmers' horses at husking time, they were usually 
 matted with cockle-burs. Some farmers tied sacks 
 on the horses' tails to prevent this. I have gone over 
 the field twice in one season with a hoe and cut these 
 weeds out and then at gathering time they would be 
 so large that I could scarcely get along to husk the
 
 192 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 corn. Now, after thirty years, you scarcely ever see 
 a bur in a horse's tail, though some careless, slovenly 
 farmers still raise them. I learned quite a good deal 
 about farming in the ten or twelve years that I 
 engaged in it, but I learned it mostly in that expensive 
 school taught by Experience. In 1884 I farmed some 
 rented land in addition to my own, with moderate 
 success. Brother Miles Smith, of Downing, Missouri, 
 had sent me an old mare as a gift, and I bought a 
 young horse that spring and some farming utensils. 
 During the winter I had held meetings in Missouri 
 and at various other points, but I cannot recall them 
 distinctly. One meeting, I think, was in Green county, 
 Illinois, near Carrollton. I generally spent much of 
 the winter in evangelistic work. I had not to permit 
 my avocation of farming to interfere with my vocation 
 of preaching. Usually during the spring and early 
 summer, when the days are long and the nights short, 
 there was not so much call for meetings except over 
 Sunday. The people were so busy with their work, 
 especially the farmers. This gave me opportunity to 
 plant and tend rny crop. In August, 1884, I held the 
 last of a series of seventeen camp-meetings in central 
 Illinois. There had been none since 1881. There 
 seemed to be less and less opening for such meetings. 
 As people became more prosperous in worldly affairs 
 the interest in religion gradually lessened. Spiritual in- 
 difference began to settle down upon them. From 
 1860 to 1880 there was a great religious awakening 
 all over the country. This took the form of a cam- 
 paign of Holiness or a Higher Life. The people were 
 aroused and there were many hearing ears. Since 
 the latter date this interest has rapidly waned, and
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 193 
 
 so low has become the spiritual condition that the 
 principal demand seems now to be for the ministra- 
 tions of such religious montebanks as " Billy " Sunday 
 and others of that ilk. The great majority have de- 
 cidedly " turned away their ears from the truth." 
 
 The camp-meeting of 1884 was held in Green county, 
 Illinois, near a little station on the Chicago & Alton 
 Railroad, called Berdan. The site was located on 
 the farm of Brother Robert Meek. A number of the 
 brethren tented on the ground, and the meeting was 
 quite well attended. Elder Rynders was present to 
 assist in the preaching. There was also another 
 preacher, a stranger, who came to the meeting, whose 
 name was Sexton. He was from Topeka, Kansas, 
 and was the editor and publisher of a little religious 
 paper. Though holding mainly to the same religious 
 tenets as myself, he saw fit, for some reason, to oppose 
 me and attack me in various ways, and endeavored to 
 assume leadership. As I wished to avoid all ap- 
 pearance of division and controversy, which would 
 have neutralized all of the good influences of the 
 meeting, I ignored this conduct on his part as far as 
 possible and bore these injuries as patiently as I 
 could, but they had a deadening effect upon the 
 meeting. His conduct was not only un-Christian but 
 discourteous and ungentlemanly. In all the camp- 
 meetings I held in fifteen years the same liberty was 
 extended as in the last one but Mr. Sexton was the 
 only man who thus abused this liberty. 
 
 I forgot to mention it in its proper place that on 
 March 29th, 1884, our second daughter was born, 
 and we named her Lois Retta. We had removed in 
 the spring of this year to the south part of town and
 
 194 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 occupied the house in which we had formerly lived. 
 It was more convenient to the land I had bought. 
 We now had a family of six children and while our 
 living expenses had increased our income had not 
 kept pace with this increase, and though my efforts 
 at farming had somewhat added to our resources it 
 was scarcely sufficient to make up the discrepancy. 
 The older children are, the more expensive they are, 
 and when a family grows in numbers as well as in age, 
 the living expenses mount up rapidly. We now had 
 two cows and soon had three, and we began to sell 
 a little milk to the neighbors. Feed was not costly 
 and there was considerable profit in this business. 
 Then I took any opportunity to help along by doing 
 any job of work that fell into my hands. But not- 
 withstanding my efforts we felt the pinchings of 
 poverty more during the next three or four years 
 than at any other time in our history. I found also 
 that the abasing of myself to the performance of 
 menial tasks to make myself self-supporting did not 
 add to my prestige with people in general, and not 
 even with the brethren. I learned the lesson that the 
 Apostle Paul learned at Corinth, when he made tents 
 to relieve the church of his support. They thought 
 the less of him for his self-denial, and honored those 
 rather who took of them and domineered over them. 
 He did not use his power over them, as he asserts. 
 It was their duty to support him, but he did not re- 
 quire it of them and thus lowered himself in their 
 estimation. The brethren in Sullivan were few and 
 not wealthy, and so were they generally in other places, 
 and I wished to spare them ; but they did not seem 
 to appreciate my efforts in their behalf. As a rule, if
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 195 
 
 we undervalue ourselves, others will also undervalue 
 us. A minister of the gospel needs to ponder well 
 Paul's advice to Timothy, " Let no man despise thee." 
 Anything that lowers a minister in the estimation of 
 his brethren, whether it ought to do so or not, will 
 lessen his authority. An independent spirit and a 
 desire to be self-supporting ought not to lower one in 
 the esteem of any person; but there may have been 
 some sub-conscious motive in my mind of which I was 
 not aware, that was not pleasing to God. At all 
 events I found it necessary to change my conduct in 
 this manner. 
 
 During the fourteen years from 1870 to 1884, my 
 work had been principally that of an evangelist. It 
 is true that I had charge of the church in Sullivan, as 
 its pastor, but evangelism occupied most of my time. 
 During this period I had travelled thousands of miles 
 and had labored at various points in a territory ex- 
 tending from eastern Ohio to central Kansas. At a 
 number of places small congregations had been gath- 
 ered, some of them meeting regularly each week. 
 From this time on, my evangelistic labors began to 
 slacken. It is true I occasionally visited a new point 
 and held meetings, but these calls became fewer and 
 fewer. A spiritual lethargy seemed to be stealing 
 upon the people. It seemed henceforth to be my 
 main work to look after these scattered congrega- 
 tions. When the gospel had gained a foothold the 
 interest still seemed to survive, especially among those 
 who had accepted the truth, at least in theory. Then 
 the work in Sullivan began to demand more of my 
 time and attention. Our numbers were slowly in- 
 creasing through additions from without and after-
 
 196 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 ward from removals from other points to Sullivan. 
 This period continued for the next sixteen years, 
 during which my work became gradually more and 
 more pastoral. There were six or eight points which 
 I visited pretty regularly, from once to three or four 
 times each year, and others that I visited occasionally. 
 During the years 1885-86, I held no large meetings. 
 I occasionally held preaching services in Sullivan in 
 some public hall, which services were usually well 
 attended by the public. I still continued to farm with 
 indifferent success generally. I could not raise a full 
 crop of corn but I had good success in raising oats, 
 which was not a profitable crop. I paid, as rent, two- 
 fifths of the corn and one-third of the oats in the 
 crib or bin. My landlord got a fair return for the 
 use of his land, as rents were low, but I did not have 
 much left after expenses were paid and the team 
 fed for a whole year. Produce usually sold at a 
 low price. I sold fat hogs as low as 31/2 cents per 
 pound. In the spring of 1885, one of my horses 
 was badly cut on a plough and lamed for life. My 
 old mare had died and I had to buy another horse. 
 He was young and not very gentle and caused the 
 accident. 
 
 In the fall of 1885, I visited Schuyler county, Mis- 
 souri, where I had held the grove-meetings. Elder 
 Rynders accompanied me. Rather an amusing ex- 
 perience occurred in this trip. I was always careful 
 of my health and when travelling any great distance 
 even in the warmest weather I always took with me 
 an extra garment that, when being out at night, I 
 might be protected from any change in temperature. 
 I had with me on this trip a shawl, carried in a
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 197 
 
 shawl strap. Brother Rynders had taken no such pre- 
 caution. It was quite warm while we were in Mis- 
 souri and, as I carried my bundle from place to place 
 as we changed stopping places, he became much 
 amused and rallied me about the matter. When we 
 returned to Illinois we stopped in Fulton county at 
 the village of London Mills, and held a few night 
 meetings on the site of the camp-meeting of the pre- 
 vious year. We put up with Brother Henry Thurman 
 in London Mills and drove back and forth to and 
 from the meetings, a distance of about five miles. 
 The weather had turned quite cool and as I did the 
 preaching Brother Rynders borrowed my shawl to 
 wear while listening to me. Unfortunately for me, 
 he forgot to return it to me before starting on the 
 return trip, and I lost the use of it, after carrying 
 it so long as an incumbrance, and was left to shiver 
 or borrow one of someone else. This was quite a 
 joke on someone and I suspicioned that it was on me. 
 Fortunately I did not take cold nor receive any other 
 harm from the exposure. Not a great while after 
 this meeting Brother Thurman, who ran a sawmill, 
 accidentally fell on the circular saw while it was in 
 motion and was instantly killed, and I was summoned 
 to conduct his funeral. My sister, Martha Ellen, the 
 wife of Brother S. A. Poland, had died in 1884, leaving 
 four children, the youngest but a week or two old, 
 and it soon followed her. My sister was a good 
 woman, a faithful Christian, and I missed her sadly. 
 She was the only one of my father's family who 
 fully sympathized with my views and my work. I 
 think it was the next year that Brother Poland married 
 Sister Mary Delana, the widow of Brother Lark
 
 198 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 Delana, to provide a mother for his motherless 
 children. 
 
 During the year 1886, matters went on about as 
 before. I continued my avocation of farming and 
 my vocation of preaching. Nothing extraordinary 
 occurred in either. I held no large meetings and 
 raised no large crops. In the meetings in Sullivan 
 we were striving to learn how to worship God in 
 spirit and truth. We were endeavoring to learn what 
 was Christian liberty and how to extend it to others. 
 This is not an easy lesson to learn, and comparatively 
 few ever learn it. To understand in what sense a 
 man is his brother's keeper and in what sense he is 
 not, is really important and requires spiritual illumi- 
 nating and discernment. As a rule, a zealous man acts 
 where he has no responsibility and refrains where he 
 is responsible. However, a homily on this point is 
 not appropriate here. The meetings often were quite 
 free and spiritual ; at other times they seemed dry and 
 formal. We learned that we could not supply the 
 liberty of the Spirit by noise and wrought up enthu- 
 siasm. We could only await the movings of the Holy 
 Spirit. On the whole, the meetings were lively and 
 enjoyable. I held several short series of preaching 
 services in public halls in Sullivan and had a good 
 attendance of the public. Now and then someone 
 would cast his or her lot among us, and there were 
 very few deflections. My views of the gospel system 
 gradually expanded and at the same time became 
 more clear and definite. There was no revolution in 
 my views, but a constant evolution. In particular did 
 the doctrines of grace open up to me, and I saw more 
 and more clearly what was meant by salvation by
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 199 
 
 grace. How little is this glorious doctrine compre- 
 hended even among its professed votaries! Another 
 point that became very clear to me was that a Chris- 
 tian's difficulties did not arise from the state of his 
 heart, but from the exercise of his free will. I do 
 not suppose that I was any more ignorant nor blind 
 than the majority of believers, but it took me quite a 
 while to discern this simple truth. I sometimes had 
 experiences that I could not account for when things 
 went wrong. I could not understand how a pure 
 heart could produce such feelings as I would have 
 or bear such fruit. I was often willing to throw away 
 my profession and start anew, but I could not feel 
 free to do so. At length I learned that my trouble 
 arose not from the state of my heart, but to my re- 
 sistance to God's will as expressed in His providences. 
 God could not do for me what I needed, I must do 
 it myself, viz: submit to God's will, then all would 
 be peaceful and serene. I learned that the only way 
 in which we can really understand the doctrines of the 
 gospel is through experience.
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 I ACQUIRE A NEW BUSINESS AND A 
 NEW HOUSE. 
 
 In the year 1887, I still continued my usual farming 
 operations, not neglecting my ministerial duties. I 
 recall nothing of special interest in my religious work. 
 In the fall of the year I took up a new business. We 
 now had three cows and had been for some years 
 selling milk to our neighbors, the boys carfying to them 
 night and morning. I thought I saw an opening for 
 going into the business more extensively and starting 
 a wagon. I pondered the matter for some time and 
 then determined to try the experiment. There was 
 no milk wagon running in the town at that time. At 
 least two persons had tried the business and had 
 given it up as a failure. In a short time after I had 
 begun I had to begin buying new cows, and for six 
 or eight months all the profits of the business went 
 into cows. At the end of this time I had quite a 
 dairy and was selling about as much milk as I ever 
 have done since. I did none of the peddling myself, 
 but delegated this part of the business to the boys, who 
 went round with the wagon night and morning, and 
 for twenty years the wagon went twice each day, 
 without one failure, cold or hot, wet or dry. I was 
 not properly prepared for the business, as I had 
 no suitable barn, and so went forward under diffi- 
 
 200
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 201 
 
 culties. But we found sufficient profit in it, even 
 under these handicaps, to greatly assist in the support 
 of my family, and from this time on, my circumstances 
 improved. 
 
 On November 2nd of this year, our third daughter 
 was born, and was named Leah Lorena. We now 
 had seven children, quite a respectable sized family. 
 
 In 1888 I still continued farming along with the milk 
 business. I found in the latter business that there 
 was much more sale for milk in the winter and early 
 spring when it cost the most to produce it than in 
 the summer, when it cost much less. In the summer 
 time I had more cows than I needed and the surplus 
 milk was left on my hands. I also found it difficult 
 to procure good milch cows. Those recommended 
 to me as first-class proved disappointing after I had 
 bought them, and if I sold them I could never get 
 for them what I paid. In fact there were few good 
 cows in this section of the country. I got along, how- 
 ever, though in an unsatisfactory manner, and with 
 what financial aid I received in gospel work, I suc- 
 ceeded in supporting my family. 
 
 For some years I had been thinking of the advan- 
 tages of owning my own dwelling. It seemed to me 
 that paying rent for a house to live in was a waste 
 of money. But work and manage as I might, I could 
 not get ahead. Everything I attempted was disap- 
 pointing. I thought I was submitted to the will of 
 God in the matter, but the Lord had made it clear 
 to me that my submission was not complete. So I 
 proceeded to make it complete. I told the Lord that 
 I was perfectly willing to live in a rented house as 
 long as I should live and I realized this to be true,
 
 202 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 and I gave up thought of anything different. In a 
 few months after this experience Brother S. A. Poland 
 and his partner in business, Brother A. P. Powers, 
 proposed to me that they would furnish the materials 
 to build me a house on the land that I had bought. 
 I accepted their offer and through the assistance of 
 other brethren, in particular, Brother L. T. Hagerman, 
 a carpenter and builder, in July I was enabled to move 
 into a house of my own, costing nearly one thousand 
 dollars, though had it been built on contract it would 
 have cost much more, with my indebtedness increased 
 but one hundred and fifty dollars. My land needed 
 tilling and I borrowed fifty dollars of Brother Jasper 
 Shaw to assist in the work. Brother Shaw afterwards 
 gave me the amount of the loan. I moved an old 
 corn-crib and stable onto my land and with some 
 additions I constructed a sort of cow barn, which 
 served that purpose for more than ten years. I dug 
 some shallow wells that furnished stock water except 
 in very dry times. Thus I was, in a rude way, 
 equipped for carrying on the dairy business. Our 
 sitting room was rather large and communicated with 
 a smaller room by means of double doors, and together 
 the two rooms afforded more room for the meetings. 
 
 About this time a movement began which increased 
 the size of our congregation. Brethren from abroad 
 began to remove to Sullivan for the privilege of the 
 meetings. First, about this time or some time after- 
 wards, Brother Jasper Shaw came from Fulton county, 
 having bought a farm near the city, and in a short 
 time Brother James T. Chancy followed from Mason 
 county. They both very materially bettered their 
 financial interests by the change. Brother Chancy
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 203 
 
 also purchased a large farm not far from Sullivan. 
 A year or two afterward Brothers W. A. Duncan, 
 Nelson LaNeue and Henry A. Emmons came to Sul- 
 livan with their families from Crawford county, Iowa. 
 They built residences in the city. During the winter 
 of 1888-89 I visited Crawford county, Iowa, and held 
 meetings in Charter Oak, where Brother W. A. 
 Duncan lived. This was before his removal to Illi- 
 nois. We had a good attendance and interesting 
 meetings. On this visit I saw Brother David McCord 
 for the last time. He had built a new residence, 
 large and comfortable, which he much needed. In 
 fitting up for farming I had necessarily involved my- 
 self in debt. I owed several hundred dollars aside 
 from my mortgage. I desired to pay off this indebt- 
 edness and concluded to try other forms of agriculture 
 besides raising corn and oats. I decided to raise sor- 
 ghum and make it into syrup. I began in the year 
 1889. I planted several acres of sorghum, procured 
 a second-hand cane mill, and bought me some new 
 evaporating pans. They were shallow and calculated 
 to boil down the sap quickly and give the best of 
 opportunity to remove all impurities. As I knew but 
 little about this process I sought information of those 
 who had made sorghum molasses, and read every- 
 thing I could find written on the subject, which was 
 little. I bought a saccharometer and prepared for 
 business as well as possible. I used litmus paper to 
 test the amount of acid in the cane juice and used lime 
 water to neutralize the acid. I hired an " expert " 
 and kept him two days. He proved to be a failure. 
 Then I decided to go it alone. The people were used 
 to sorghum syrup boiled in deep pans or kettles which
 
 204 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 could not be properly cleansed of its impurities and 
 which, when cooled, was dark and thick, and which 
 would not run in cold weather. The sorghum of com- 
 merce was thin and would not keep in hot weather. 
 It registered 32 degrees by the saccharometer. I 
 boiled mine until it registered 38 degrees and would 
 begin to sugar but I could not make it thick nor so 
 dark a color. However, I learned by experience that 
 it would keep through the hot weather and improved 
 with age. I continued making it until the McKinley 
 Bill gave us free sugar and spoiled the business. I 
 also tried raising strawberries and although I never 
 had a full crop I made some money in the venture. 
 The raising of sweet potatoes was another of my 
 projects and I was quite successful in this work until 
 sweet potatoes from abroad lowered the price of the 
 product so far as to take away the profit. By means 
 of my farming operations and these side issues I 
 succeeded in freeing myself of my unsecured debts 
 in three or four years. 
 
 On January 29th, 1890, our fourth daughter was 
 born and named Lydia Orpah. She had the good 
 fortune to be born in our own house, and we have 
 not changed our residence since. The winter of 1889- 
 90 my wife and I both had severe attacks of la grippe. 
 My wife was at the worst at the time of her confine- 
 ment, having a severe and straining cough, and I 
 feared that she would not survive the ordeal, but 
 through the mercy of God, she came through safely. 
 My principal distress was in my head, just above my 
 eyes and it resulted in great impairment of my sight 
 through astigmatism. Up to this time I could read 
 the finest print without lenses though I was nearly
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 205 
 
 fifty years old. I felt the ill effects of this attack 
 of grippe for two or three years in my nervous 
 system. 
 
 It must not be supposed because I have said little 
 about religious meetings that the gospel work was neg- 
 lected, but the meetings were not of a nature to impress 
 themselves upon my memory. There was nothing 
 about them of special interest, so that one meeting was 
 not differentiated from another. As I have before 
 stated my work was gradually narrowing down in 
 extent and was confined to fewer places, assuming 
 more and more a pastorate and less and less the work 
 of an evangelist. Yet, I still travelled quite exten- 
 sively and neglected no call that I received. 
 
 The year 1890, if I remember correctly, was the 
 last year in which I carried on farming operations. 
 My two older sons got work that year during school 
 vacation at laying concrete side walks, a business just 
 in its infancy in this section of the country, and 
 during the summer they learned to do the various 
 parts of the trade. It was a hot dry summer but I 
 raised the best crop of corn I ever did raise. We 
 put up a large supply of clover hay on the shares so 
 that my share was about enough to feed my cows 
 through the winter. We had to stack our hay and my 
 haymow would hold but a small quantity. In the 
 dairy business we labored under two handicaps : we 
 had not enough pasture land to properly supply the 
 cows in the summer unless it was a wet year; and 
 our cow barn was so open that every cold wave 
 would shrink the milk supply in the winter. This 
 made the milk yield irregular and often we would 
 be compelled to buy milk to supply our customers.
 
 206 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 But it was the best we could do under the circum- 
 stances and we endeavored to be content. 
 
 Our congregations continued to increase and we 
 found ourselves cramped for room, so it was decided 
 that accommodations should be provided by building 
 an addition to my house where the meetings were held. 
 Accordingly in the summer of 1891 a two story front, 
 sixteen feet square, was built onto my house. Between 
 the room previously used for meetings and the new 
 room an opening was left seven feet wide, closed with 
 sliding doors. This afforded us abundance of room 
 for the time being. The new room was occupied by 
 the women, the old one mainly by the men. In the 
 spring of this year my brother, L. O. Harshman, re- 
 moved to Sullivan from Ohio. I had persuaded 
 him to do so hoping that he might better his financial 
 condition, but his wife was not satisfied with the 
 change and he returned to Ohio in the fall of the same 
 year. 
 
 During this year I had an experience which was the 
 most painful and harassing that I have passed through 
 during the whole course of my life. The details 
 would not be of interest and I will give only the out- 
 lines of the affair. As I have already stated, the 
 two older boys, Paul and Rufus, worked at laying 
 concrete walks during the summer of 1890 and their 
 employer told them when they quit work in the fall 
 that if they would work for him the next year he 
 would give them two dollars per day. They told 
 me of the offer and although this sum was small 
 wages for finishing, I was willing that they should 
 accept the offer as they were young. Rufus was 
 finishing his high school course and could not work
 
 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 207 
 
 until June, but Paul went to work in April. He did 
 the finishing, kept the accounts, etc., his employer 
 coming around about twice each day to note progress. 
 After about two weeks' work Paul was paid for his 
 time up to date and received but one and two-thirds 
 dollars per day. He complained to me of this and I 
 was much surprised at the report. His employer 
 had picked up a tramp and paid him two dollars per 
 day and paid the finisher the smaller sum. I was 
 puzzled at this conduct and went to the employer for 
 explanation. This man had been received among 
 us as a brother though his case was not a clear one. 
 I had believed him at least 'sincere and well intentioned. 
 He was disposed to deny his promise of the year 
 before, and declared he could not afford to pay the 
 sum he had promised. I knew enough about 
 the business to know that statement to be untrue. I 
 never have been able to understand the motive that 
 prompted him to do as he did. The sum in dispute 
 was trifling and not worth contending about. The 
 division of sentiment among the brethren gave Satan 
 a door for entrance and I suffered intensely from his 
 assaults. So great was my distress that I felt a loss 
 of desire to live longer if these experiences must 
 continue. After several months the powers of dark- 
 ness gave way and I obtained relief ; but the victory 
 was not even then as decisive as I could have desired. 
 The suffering I had undergone made such an im- 
 pression upon my health that it was followed by a 
 severe spell of sickness. However, it resulted greatly 
 to my spiritual advantage, as it served to deliver me 
 from fear of the opinions of my brethren to a much 
 greater degree than I had before experienced, adding
 
 208 HARSHMAN'S MEMOIRS. 
 
 greatly to my feeling of independence of men. I 
 afterward found to my astonishment that it also in 
 a marked degree increased the respect and reverence 
 of my brethren for me as their pastor and spiritual 
 guide. It is through suffering that we climb the heights 
 of spiritual experience and spiritual power. 
 
 I had in bearing this year about three-fourths of an 
 acre of strawberries, and the crop being fair, they 
 netted me a neat little sum. On the other hand I lost a 
 valuable young mare by disease so that accounts about 
 balanced.
 
 ADDENDA. 
 
 Thus ended my father's " Memoirs." The last 
 chapter was written only five or six weeks before his 
 death. He told me only a few days before he died 
 in talking over his affairs, when his mind reverted to 
 this work, that it was all right as it stood, as nothing 
 much of consequence had happened after the time 
 where the narrative ended. But as he left many 
 interesting letters and several sermons, which have 
 never been printed, we thought it would be of interest 
 to print them and tell something of his later life and 
 triumphal death, as he lived almost twenty years 
 after the transpiration of the events of which he last 
 wrote. 
 
 The preparation of the Memoirs was a labor which 
 he much enjoyed, though much of it was done when 
 he was scarcely able for the task. But while he was 
 not physically able for it, his mind was as bright and 
 acute as it ever was, and remained so up to the last 
 few moments of his life. 
 
 On December 24th, 1892, his youngest daughter 
 was born and was named Grace Elizabeth. She, with 
 her four brothers and four sisters, whose births have 
 been duly noted, all survived him at his death. Though 
 he suffered affliction in his earlier life in the death of 
 his wife and two little girls, his life was much blessed 
 in respect to the health of his family in his later 
 years. Upon the occasion of the funeral of an infant 
 
 209
 
 210 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 grandson, in 1909, he called attention to the fact that 
 in his immediate family, then consisting of nine 
 children and eighteen grandchildren, it was the first 
 death in more than thirty years. 
 
 Between the years 1892 and 1896, he prepared 
 material for a book of sermons, which was published 
 in 1896, under the title " Sermons on Familiar Sub- 
 jects." This was followed by the publication, in 1902, 
 of another book of sermons, under the title " Chris- 
 tian Citizenship and Other Sermons." In 1904, his 
 book, " A Commentary on Romans, Doctrinal and 
 Practical," was published. In this book the reader 
 will find his deep insight into, and his profound in- 
 terpretation of this much disputed-about Epistle. He 
 also left manuscript for a selection of hymns, which 
 was published after his death, in 1913, under the 
 title " Hymns, Selected." 
 
 His congregation continued to meet at his private 
 residence for fifteen or sixteen years after 1892, 
 during which time it had so increased in number, 
 through the growing-up of the children and the ad- 
 dition of friends from different places, who located 
 here, that in 1908 the problem of providing a larger 
 meeting place demanded attention. In extremely cold 
 weather it was impossible to make all comfortable 
 with stove heat, and a lack of proper ventilation and 
 breathing space was injurious to health. We all felt 
 a hesitancy about building a meeting-house, due to a 
 fear that in it we might not feel the same freedom and 
 informality that we did in a private house. However, 
 forced by the necessity of the circumstances, it was 
 decided that we would build, and we have found that 
 our fears were groundless. A lot was purchased
 
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 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 211 
 
 across the street from father's residence, and a neat 
 brick chapel was built with an auditorium 38x50 
 ft., with vestibule, and ante-room of sufficient size 
 for the accommodation of women with small children. 
 A furnace was put in the basement and a steam 
 heating system was installed. Modern pews were put 
 in and the walls were frescoed, making us a very 
 comfortable place of meeting. 
 
 About the year 1900 father's health began to fail. 
 He suffered much from indigestion and affection of 
 the pneumogastric nerve, causing irregular heart action 
 and much discomfort. Through the summer months 
 when he could be out in the open air he got along 
 very well, but when the long winters set in and he 
 could not get out much, he suffered a great deal from 
 this trouble. After the winter of 1908-09 he decided 
 that if the Lord spared his life, and means were 
 provided, he would go to a more comfortable clime 
 through the winter months. This he was able to do, 
 and so, accompanied by my mother, sister Orpah, 
 Apollos Hagerman and wife, he spent the latter part 
 of January, February and the fore part of March, in 
 California. In anticipation of his absence he prepared 
 a few sermons which he left to be read to the con- 
 gregation at some of the Sunday services. These three 
 sermons, " The Conversion of Paul," " God's Means 
 of Salvation," and " The Doctrine of the imputation 
 of Sin and Righteousness," will be found in the back 
 of this book. 
 
 Concerning his trip to California, we have several 
 letters from my father, which follow:
 
 212 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 Los Angeles, Cal., 1/24/1910. 
 Dear Son: 
 
 I suppose you have seen some of the letters which 
 Orpah and I have written, but I will begin at the 
 beginning anyway. We got on the chair car at Sul- 
 livan, but the porter of the parlor car came to me 
 and asked me if we did not want to ride in the parlor 
 car. At first I thought not, but soon changed my 
 mind, disliking to spoil his high opinion of me, and 
 thinking that I needed all the comfort I could get. 
 We found the parlor car very comfortable. We got 
 into St. Louis about on time and found our berths 
 on the M. P. awaiting. I tried to find a place in which 
 to eat our lunch, but in the first-class lunch room they 
 furnished lunch at your expense, and we did not like 
 to butt into the second-class lunch room. So we ate 
 in a corridor. About fifteen minutes after eating, my 
 stomach gave notice of a revolt and continued in- 
 surgent all night. However, I slept part of the night. 
 Our train left at 10 :10 and at 9 :30 we went on 
 board. Two station porters assisted us with our lug- 
 gage, consisting of four suit cases and two bags. 
 We reached Kansas City late the next morning and 
 were met by Apollos, who had secured a suite of 
 rooms for us at the Coates Hotel. After getting 
 breakfast at the lunch counter in the station, when I 
 ate two poached eggs on toast, we mounted two 
 flights of stairs and took the street car for our hotel. 
 Soon after reaching it my bowels began disturbing 
 me and for an hour and a half I suffered intensely. 
 I then got ease and lay down and fell asleep, but it 
 was three hours longer before I was entirely relieved. 
 I did not get out to see the city as I should have
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 213 
 
 liked to do. The next day I felt well and we took the 
 train at about 9 :30. The train was in two sections, 
 but we got on the first section where we found car 
 No. 1. Near Lawrence we ran through more than a 
 foot of water for quite a distance. We reached the 
 mountains some time during the night and passed 
 the summit of the Rockies the next morning beyond 
 Trinidad, Colorado, about 8:00, 5 hours late. There 
 is a tunnel just at the summit. The distinguishing 
 feature of the Rockies is that they are rocky ; the whole 
 surface of the ground is covered with fragments large 
 and smalL We ran down the west side of the moun- 
 tains into New Mexico. For hours we ran over a 
 vast grassy plain with mountains in the distance. 
 Occasionally we passed a small station. We some- 
 times saw a herd of cattle or sheep, grazing. New 
 Mexico is principally distinguished for its distances; 
 it is full of them. We passed one city in the state 
 (or territory), Albuquerque. It is a beautiful place. 
 During the night we entered Arizona. Eastern Ari- 
 zona resembles New Mexico, but western Arizona is 
 a sandy plain, destitute of grass, but sparsely covered 
 with sage brush. Hills and mountains are always in 
 sight but you have to guess at their distance. We 
 saw Indians at the stations. Some of them are in 
 the employ of the railroad. We crossed the Colorado 
 river into California Friday morning. The water of 
 the river looks red, hence its name. We passed over 
 the Sierra Nevada Thursday night. We crossed the 
 coast range about dark Friday and reached Los 
 Angeles four and one-half hours late, at 10 :30 p. m. 
 Here cousin Nelson and wife met us and took us, 
 or rather accompanied us, to the Hotel Rosslyn, where
 
 214 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 he had secured a suite of rooms for us, two con- 
 tiguous bed-rooms and bath-room. If he had not 
 done this we would have had trouble to get rooms, 
 though Apollos got one. The next morning cousin 
 Edith came for us at 9 :30 and helped us find a cottage. 
 We got one at 726 E. Adams Street, about a block 
 and one-half from where my cousin lives. It is 
 nicely furnished, the owners living in the second story. 
 We get five rooms and a bath-room, two bed-rooms 
 and a folding-bed in the dining-room. Saturday was 
 a beautiful day here. The temperature was up to 80. 
 Yesterday and today it is cooler and fire feels pleasant. 
 We went to the mission to meeting yesterday. I went 
 intending to be pleased, if possible, but it was no 
 use. I was bored. My cousin is a fine man, and I 
 like his wife, also. We are going out to J. J. Harsh- 
 man's tomorrow. We are quite comfortable and my 
 stomach seems to be on its good behavior. Food is 
 little higher here than there, but fuel is out of sight. 
 I have written a long letter and will close. Address us 
 at 726 E. Adams and let me know how the meetings 
 progress, and how they like sermons read to them, 
 how the chapel progresses, etc. 
 
 Affectionately your Father and Mother, 
 
 S. R. and RETTA L. HARSHMAN. 
 
 A few days after their departure for California a 
 member of the congregation died. It is partly in 
 regard to her death that he writes in his next letter, 
 which follows : 
 
 Los Angeles, 2/2/1910. 
 Dear Son: 
 
 I was thinking of writing to you when I received
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 215 
 
 your letter and Cora's of the 28th, ult. We were 
 glad to hear from you. We received your telegram 
 informing us of Mary Houston's death on the same 
 day it was sent. It was received at the telegraph 
 office seven minutes, by the time here, after you sent 
 it : viz, 9:37, but we did not get it until our return 
 from meeting. We were not surprised, but none- 
 the-less sorry. It seems a strange dispensation of 
 Providence that she should be thus taken away from 
 her fatherless children. But the Lord knows best. I 
 trust she was prepared for the solemn call. We must 
 do what is necessary for the children. I suppose they 
 will be taken to their grandfather's and that she will 
 be laid to rest beside her little son in Greenville. 
 
 We are still in good health. I suppose you have 
 read of my preaching on Sunday and the results to 
 myself. I seem to be entirely recovered from the 
 results of my dissipation, and am as well as I was 
 last week. It seems strange to have no duties, and 
 to be entirely an idler, yet my time is pretty well 
 taken up. We breakfast at eight o'clock, I read the 
 morning paper awhile, write a letter or two, go out 
 for my morning walk of a mile or two, or go down 
 town, though I have not been down town this week, 
 read awhile on my return, and it is dinner time, one 
 o'clock. I rest an hour after dinner, take another 
 walk in the bright sunshine, read a little more and 
 it is dusk, and almost supper time. We sup at six 
 o'clock. After supper put on gown and slippers and 
 take it easy until bedtime, Mama or Orpah reading 
 to me some evenings. I sleep first rate and enjoy 
 eating, hugely. We were intending to go to Compton 
 again today, but cousin Josiah telephoned that he
 
 216 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 was so busy that he wished we would postpone the 
 visit until next week when he would accompany us 
 to Long Beach. That suits us, for it is too cold to 
 make Long Beach a desirable place to visit. There 
 was a damp, cool wind from the ocean yesterday 
 p. m., which was positively chilling, and there was 
 a slight frost this morning. According to the morning 
 paper it froze some in the nearby mountains. It is 
 pleasanter this morning, but the mercury out of doors 
 stands at 55. The first day we were here was the 
 warmest we have had, though some days have been 
 quite pleasant to be out of doors. Mama and I went 
 to visit Norris Harshman yesterday p. m. We walked 
 one-quarter of a mile east then took a street car fifteen 
 blocks to E. Eleventh Street. We found them without 
 trouble. They are living with his wife's niece, who is 
 a widow. They have been here since October. We 
 visited them when in Ohio. She is a great talker 
 and reminded me of a story I told her in 1869, when 
 father and I visited them, of the miller who slept 
 while his mill ran, but waked up promptly when it 
 stopped. We spent an hour with them and walked 
 all the way back, about one and one-half miles. 
 Mama became tired and complained of my fast 
 walking. She says when I take a walk, I walk as if 
 I was sent for. I naturally walk fast when I feel 
 well. I hope you will get Lucius' house ready for 
 occupancy by April 1st. Glad to hear that the chapel 
 is progressing, also that my sermon was appreciated 
 I think it a good one. I think the long one is more
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 217 
 
 profound, though, the most profound of any I ever 
 wrote. Others may not agree with me, but I trust 
 they may like it.* 
 
 Your affectionate Father and Mother, 
 
 S. R. and RETTA L. HARSHMAN. 
 
 His next letter addressed to the Brethren and 
 Friends, telling of religious affairs in Los Angeles, 
 follows : 
 
 Dear Brethren and Friends: 
 
 I have written a number of personal letters to 
 different persons among you, but I think it might be 
 well to write an epistle to you collectively. I wish 
 to say in the first place that I was sorry not to be 
 with you in the time of your affliction over the death 
 of one of our members, but my heart was with you. 
 My presence would have done nothing to avert the 
 stroke, however, and little to ameliorate its pang. 
 
 I find Los Angeles a limbo for broken-down Holi- 
 ness evangelists, as well as the home for nearly all 
 kinds of unusual religions. I have attended, so far, 
 only one place of worship, a mission supported by my 
 cousin here in the city. They worship in a hall and 
 have but a small attendance. They formerly belonged 
 to the large Nazarene Society, founded by Dr. Brazee, 
 and came out of it in protest against sin which they 
 found condoned by the authorities of that society. 
 They are probably as pure and self-denying a band as 
 can be found in the city. I have attended three meet- 
 ings and preached, by request, at the last one. They 
 
 * This refers to sermon " Imputation of Sin and Right- 
 eousness " back of book.
 
 218 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 are a devoted, zealous, enthusiastic congregation. 
 They hold to much truth in theory, and especially to 
 the importance and necessity of the influence and help 
 of the Holy Spirit in all their labors and worship. 
 They talk, sing and pray about this, and for this 
 blessing. And yet in spite of my sympathy for them 
 and respect for their apparent sincerity, I cannot 
 realize any presence of the Holy Spirit. Their ser- 
 vices, though earnest, enthusiastic, -and sometimes even 
 noisy, tire and bore me. I did not express my feelings 
 or opinion until my wife and Orpah, Apollos and Alma 
 expressed themselves, and they were quite unanimous 
 and emphatic in declaring the services very tiresome. 
 If these people have not the Holy Spirit where else in 
 this great city can I look for it with any prospect of 
 finding what I seek? But is this not an awful state 
 of things? Their pastor, an old Holiness evangelist, 
 is a man of good abilities, earnest and devoted, but 
 his preaching is lifeless so far as the Holy Spirit is 
 concerned. After my sermon last Sunday night they 
 had a mourner, and altar exercises. It was almost 
 amusing to see the amazement and disgust of our 
 young people at the performance, as it was their first 
 experience of the kind. It is truly amazing that sen- 
 sible people should do such things. My cousins here 
 are honest, sincere men, and I am persuaded that if 
 they had opportunity of hearing the truth they would 
 receive it. The Apostle Paul was inclined to boast 
 of some of the churches he founded, and I some- 
 times feel like doing the same thing. I find no other 
 people like the one I serve. May the Lord bless you 
 and make you more peculiar in this respect. I can 
 only wonder how so many people with so much theo-
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 219 
 
 retical knowledge of the gospel miss the power of it. 
 The people of this mission I spoke of are strong to 
 do great things. They have organized a Holiness 
 College and are supporting a missionary in Japan. 
 They are not content with small things but are strain- 
 ing after things that are beyond their means, and 
 thus burdening themselves and making their service 
 hard. All this time they are imagining that they are 
 urged forward by the Lord, when it is their own 
 vanity and vainglory that moves them. The Lord 
 does not urge us to undertake what will burden us. 
 His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He does 
 not make beggars of us and put us to the task of 
 showing other Christians the manner in which they 
 should use their money. My cousin's wife, here in the 
 city is very zealous in promoting this work and has 
 several times suggested to me that she wishes to urge 
 the matter on me, and ask my help. I would rather 
 throw my money into the Pacific Ocean. There, at 
 least, it would harm no one, not even the fishes. If 
 I had millions I could not feel free to use it, nor any 
 of it, in that way. I am sorry for people in such 
 a state of darkness. 
 
 There is at present in Los Angeles a Holiness evan- 
 gelist by the name of Joseph Smith holding meetings 
 but I do not know just where and so have attended 
 none of his meetings. Next Tuesday the Pentecostal 
 Association of California is to hold an all-day meeting 
 at the same place, which will close these meetings. 
 This is the Holiness Association of this state. I 
 scarcely think I will attend. I see from the daily 
 papers that there are several congregations in this city 
 who announce themselves as truth-seekers, but I judge
 
 220 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 from what they say, and the subjects discussed at 
 their meetings that they are skeptics and infidels. 
 They will look for truth a long time in the direction 
 in which they now turn their eyes without finding 
 the truth. Truth is such an entire stranger to them 
 that they would not recognize her if they met face to 
 face. 
 
 I. N. Cooly, whom I had not seen for nearly forty 
 years, hunted me up during the past week. He and 
 his wife were saved, or professed to be saved in my 
 meeting in Arcola, in the winter of 1868-69. She 
 died a few years afterward and he has been married 
 twice since. He has lived in this vicinity for the five 
 years last past, and says he is in feeble health. He 
 is now attached to no sect and attends meeting no 
 where. We hope to visit him before we leave this 
 place. We are having dry, bright, pleasant weather, 
 not so cool as it was a few days past. I think we will 
 be at home by the middle of March at the furthest. 
 Trusting that the Lord will continue with you and 
 lead you onward, I subscribe myself your Pastor and 
 Friend, and Brother in Christ, 
 
 S. R. HARSH MAN. 
 
 He returned from California much improved in 
 health. Our chapel was completed soon after his 
 return and the first meetings were held in it about 
 the third Sunday after his arrival. Many of the 
 friends from other communities were invited, and 
 Burnell Johnson of Toledo, Ohio, was invited to 
 occupy the pulpit with father and assist in the 
 services.
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 221 
 
 Father was able to preach almost every Sunday all 
 through the summer and fall, but along about the 
 Holidays, he was suddenly taken with his old trouble. 
 So he and mother and sister Leah, arranged to go 
 to San Antonio, Texas, to see if the change would 
 not prove beneficial. He was bothered at this time 
 with swelling of his limbs, and swelling in the ab- 
 dominal cavity. We were much concerned as to his 
 condition and were quite anxious as to the outcome. 
 He gives a very good idea of the state of his health 
 and his attitude concerning it in the several letters 
 which follow : 
 
 New Orleans, La., Jan. 21, 1911. 
 Dear Children: 
 
 This morning finds us in the Crescent City. We 
 arrived at 10 o'clock last night, one and three-quar- 
 ters hours late, and found the S. P. (Southern Pa- 
 cific) train, to which we should have been attached, 
 had gone. So we lie over until 11 :55 this morning. 
 I stood the strain of getting off, and of the trip to 
 Mattoon better than I expected to do, and went im- 
 mediately to bed and slept until morning. I felt 
 quite well, for me, all day yesterday, though the 
 weather was wretched most of the day. It got 
 brighter toward evening and warmer also. It was 
 quite warm and close in our berth, and I lay all night 
 without cover. I am feeling cheerful and hopeful 
 and not like an abandoned orphan. Mama was quite 
 unwell last night of her cold, but is better this morn- 
 ing. The country through which we travelled yester- 
 day, through western Tennessee and Mississippi, was
 
 222 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 low and swampy and dreary to look at in the extreme. 
 There was not much scenery to engage the eye. The 
 architecture along the route was not high class. 
 Negro cabins are not uplifting to look at. New Or- 
 leans is seven hundred and fifty miles from Mat- 
 toon, and we have about the same distance still to 
 travel. We will not reach San Antonio until to- 
 morrow forenoon if on time (Sunday). I telegraphed 
 from Memphis to the St. Anthony hotel in San An- 
 tonio to reserve a two-room suite and bath for me 
 Saturday night and over Sunday. As we will not 
 reach there Saturday night suppose we will have the 
 suite to pay for anyway. But that will cost us no 
 more than if we had reached there on time, as our 
 extra night on the sleeper will cost us nothing. You 
 can write to me, addressing me simply San Antonio, 
 Texas, until we get located. We hope to hear from 
 you soon. 
 
 With much love, 
 
 Your affectionate father and mother, 
 
 S. R. and R. L. HARSHMAN. 
 
 San Antonio, Texas, Jan. 23, 1911. 
 
 Dear Son : 
 
 San Antonio opened her hospitable arms to receive 
 us about 10 :30 yesterday morning, but her embrace 
 is quite cool, as the mercury fell during Saturday 
 night to about 45 degrees, and it is still cool. I stood 
 the trip quite well though it was tiresome as the coach 
 was full and room scarce. There was no room to 
 " boil over " into except the library car which was 
 used as a smoker until we got on to the Southern 
 Pacific. They had an observation car. Mama was 
 quite sick all day yesterday with high fever, but is
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 223 
 
 free of fever this morning, and feeling much better. 
 Leah is sick this morning. These circumstances will 
 keep us in the hotel another day, as they cannot see 
 about renting furnished rooms. There are quite a 
 number of cottages and furnished rooms advertised 
 and I suppose we will have no trouble to find some- 
 thing suitable. Many advertisements read " No sick 
 or children " so I will pose as a well man. If it 
 were not for the condition of my legs I would feel 
 pretty well now, but they continue to swell up during 
 the day, and shrink during the night. When swollen, 
 they feel so stiff and unnatural I dislike to do much 
 walking. I am in hopes these symptoms will grad- 
 ually abate as my general health improves. I feel 
 quite a little better than I did ten days ago. This is 
 a fine hotel, much the same class as the one we 
 stopped at in Los Angeles. It is called the St. An- 
 thony. We have rooms on the second floor, nicely 
 furnished, steam heated, electric lighted. The restau- 
 rant and cafe in the building are each first class, but 
 the prices are " fierce." Mama insisted on my going 
 down to breakfast with her this morning as Leah was 
 sick. Our frugal meals cost us 90 cents. If we stay 
 here long we will hunt a restaurant outside. I think 
 San Antonio is a modern city from what I have seen 
 Affectionately your father, 
 
 S. R. HARSHMAN. 
 
 San Antonio, Texas, February 3, 1911. 
 Dear Son : 
 
 Your letter came promptly to hand and I answered 
 your queries in a letter to Clement which you have 
 no doubt seen. My nerves are much better than be- 
 fore I left home, and my digestion is improved, but
 
 224 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 the other symptoms remain about the same as yet. 
 The weather here is fine and I am enjoying God's 
 tonic of pure air and sunshine. I have suffered much 
 physical discomfort during the last six weeks and I 
 trust my experience may not be in vain, that I may 
 be neither stubborn nor stupid, but that I may learn 
 obedience by the things which I suffer. I am cha- 
 grined and ashamed that I should have brought this 
 suffering upon myself by my own self will. I had no 
 wrong intention, but made the mistake of thinking 
 that God's will agreed with mine. Henceforth I hope 
 to be sure that my will harmonizes with His. I was 
 so persistent that I made it necessary to bring me 
 up with a sharp turn. My sickness came like light- 
 ning out of a clear sky, but I am reproved and cor- 
 rected. My course was a mistake. It is not supris- 
 ing that I should make mistakes. I have no human 
 path blazed out ahead of me but must blaze it my- 
 self. The man whom God thus sends out as a pioneer 
 must suffer many hard knocks. I was carrying others' 
 burdens to their spiritual detriment and my own 
 physical harm. The work was not moving forward 
 as it should. We must be taught a lesson. There 
 were difficulties in the way that we were not reaching. 
 Some deceived that needed to be undeceived; some 
 thinking they wanted salvation who were making no 
 progress toward God. God will show us how to get 
 at these things if we seek wisdom. I trust He will 
 give me a chance to correct my errors. While He 
 has use for me, all the devils in hell cannot kill me. 
 When He has no further use for me here will be 
 the right time to go to Glory. You may read this to
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 225 
 
 the Church. Send me news of the meetings and other 
 things of interest. 
 
 Your affectionate -father, 
 
 S. R. HARSHMAN. 
 
 San Antonio, Texas, 2/9/1911. 
 Dear Son: 
 
 Your letter came this morning. I am rejoiced to 
 learn of your good meetings, and I hope the Lord 
 will do great things for you. I do not know what He 
 is going to do with me, only that it will be the best 
 thing. A few years, more or less, makes but little 
 difference. I have a desire to be useful to the Church 
 a while longer, and if the Lord sees that I can be He 
 will spare me a while; I leave it all to Him. Disease 
 and threatening symptoms are nothing to God; they 
 try our faith and test our self-abandonment. It is a 
 great relief to leave the whole matter with God; it 
 so simplifies things. I am feeling pretty well, though 
 my condition is quite uncomfortable. I slept well 
 last night and my general condition may be slowly 
 improving, but symptoms remain about the same. It 
 is cooler here, making fire necessary for comfort. 
 Mama and Leah are well. Let us hear from you often 
 whether I write or not. 
 
 Affectionately your father, 
 
 S. R. HARSHMAN. 
 
 San Antonio, Texas, 2/16/1911. 
 Dear Son. : 
 
 I was pleased to get your letter and glad to hear 
 of the good meetings you have been having, glad to 
 learn that you had been praying for. me, as I need your 
 prayers. I lost some ground lasP'wtfek, the result of
 
 226 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 indigestion but am feeling considerably better this 
 week. I find it difficult to get around on foot; it 
 causes pressure on my stomach and shortness of 
 breath, otherwise I am about the same. I slept nine 
 hours last night. I find that the hot days here are 
 hard on me. They affect my nerves, and I dread them. 
 For this reason I shall not stay here longer than Feb- 
 ruary, as the heat would probably be worse on me than 
 the cold. I cannot say what day I will be home, but 
 will let you know in time. I found the swelling re- 
 duced all over me this morning when I got up, which 
 is not an unfavorable sign. I have felt somewhat pes- 
 simistic about the outcome, but I agree with the Irish 
 woman who is house-keeper for the Reverend Jones, 
 "If the Lord wants him to get well, He will make 
 him well." Mrs. Hicks called on us yesterday. She 
 is quite a pleasant lady, and I enjoyed a little society. 
 I was sitting out on the front porch. We liked the 
 pictures very much, were pleased to get them. Some 
 of the people think you look like me, others think 
 you look like your mother. Hope to see you before 
 a great while. Love to all. 
 
 Your affectionate father, 
 
 S. R. HARSHMAN. 
 
 San Antonio, Texas, 2/18/1911. 
 Dear Son: 
 
 We got your letter of Thursday evening. Was 
 sorry to hear we had made you feel gloomy with the 
 report of my health, as I had to tell you the truth. 
 I am pleased to send a more favorable report today. 
 My digestion has been good this week, causing but 
 little gas, and of course my nerves must be stronger 
 to produce the digestion. In fact, if it were not for
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 227 
 
 the dropsy I would feel myself on the road to re- 
 covery, and from what the Doctor says, I am on the 
 road to recovery when my general health improves, 
 but it is all in the will of the Lord. I got a letter 
 from George Williams this morning; he says he is 
 clear I will recover. I think him a good man, but 
 don't know just how confidential his relations may be 
 with the Lord. We have decided to return home next 
 week. The weather has been favorable this week, 
 not hot, but wet and warm, so that we can have the 
 house open. I dread the return of the hot weather. 
 Heretofore I have always begun to improve the first 
 of March, and hope it may be so again. We have 
 engaged a drawing room which will give us privacy. 
 I was afraid I couldn't dress and undress in a berth. 
 We start Thursday, the twenty-third, at 10:45 A. M. 
 We will reach Mattoon on Saturday at 6:25 A. M. 
 and will get home on the 8 o'clock train if all goes 
 well. Should we miss our train at New Orleans we 
 will wire you. 
 
 Your affectionate father and mother, 
 
 S. R. and R. L. HARSHMAN. 
 
 He was very much swollen with dropsy upon his 
 arrival at home from this trip, so much so that he 
 could not walk any distance and get his breath. Two 
 of his sons met the returning party at Mattoon and 
 carried him in a chair from the parlor car to the bag- 
 gage car of the train for Sullivan, and he rode from 
 Mattoon to Sullivan in the baggage car. He was very 
 much relieved to get back home, as the strain of the 
 trip was almost more than he could stand. Indeed, 
 he said he did not know when he started whether he 
 would get home alive or not. But he began to get
 
 228 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 better from the day he arrived at home, and in a 
 few weeks the swelling from dropsy had all been re- 
 duced and he was able to get around again. He en- 
 joyed moderately good health through the summer, 
 and preached, from his chair, almost every Sunday, 
 though he was never again able to stand and deliver 
 a sermon. 
 
 In the latter part of October of this year, 1911, he 
 had an attack in the nature of a fainting spell. He 
 started upstairs and was stricken so that he could 
 not see, and almost fell, but was able, with assistance 
 to get to a couch and lie down. He became very pale 
 but recovered in a little while. The Doctors, when 
 they had examined him had always told him that his 
 heart was in good condition and there was no organic 
 trouble in this organ. That the affection of it was 
 entirely sympathetic. As this fainting spell indicated 
 the presence of heart trouble he concluded the fight 
 was a losing one, and expressed himself as not wanting 
 to live if his heart was affected. He was able to get 
 about for a few weeks longer, though he gradually 
 became weaker and the dropsical condition again re- 
 turned. About December 10th he decided to conserve 
 his strength by staying in bed, and though he may not 
 have expected to get up again, he was optimistic, and 
 made a hard fight against the encroaching enemy. He 
 could take but little nourishment as it was not prop- 
 erly digested and caused him much distress, affecting 
 his nerves and heart action. As soon as he became 
 bedfast his children took turn with their mother, at 
 nursing him, and their care was to him a comfort in 
 his suffering. He always took much delight in the 
 companionship of his children. While he had no
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 229 
 
 worldly ambitions for them, he was always familiar 
 with, and interested in all their undertakings, and 
 pleased with their success. When much depressed in 
 spirit from his suffering (his nervous trouble tended 
 to produce melancholia) it always cheered him to have 
 one of his children stop in and discuss with him his 
 business and the events of the day. While, as we 
 say, he often felt depressed, he would almost in- 
 variably talk of favorable symptoms and attempt to 
 relieve the inquirer's anxiety. He had a very keen 
 sense of humor, and enjoyed exceedingly a good story 
 or anecdote. This sense of humor he had to the last, 
 and as long as he was able to talk, he would joke 
 about his condition and the things happening about 
 him. Toward the last, aside from his suffering from 
 his wrought-up nerves, he suffered excruciating pain 
 from his mouth, his mouth and tongue being en- 
 tirely raw. Neither did his inveterate enemy, the 
 Tempter, abandon his assaults at the last. In the 
 long, dreary hours of the night, with nerves wrought 
 up almost to the breaking point, in anguish from 
 misery from his sore mouth so he was almost un- 
 able to speak, the Tempter would tell him that the 
 Lord dicj not love him or He would not permit him 
 to so suffer. When his nerves relaxed and he could 
 rest, he told us of his sore temptations, and how he 
 never wanted to doubt the goodness of the Lord to 
 him. He had absolutely no fear of death itself. He 
 desired to live for the sake of his family and the 
 Church, but when he felt the chance of recovery was 
 gone, he was anxious for the end and release from 
 his suffering. His great mind was as keen as ever 
 up to within a few moments of his death and he
 
 230 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 watched his symptoms closely. Only a few hours be- 
 fore his death, as he felt the end approaching, he 
 asked if his face yet showed an ashen appearance. 
 When the family was at one time all gathered about 
 him, he exhorted us to be true to our faith, and said, 
 " You children must all stand together, for the Devil 
 hates you." At another time he quoted almost in 
 its entirety that beautiful hymn of Chas. Wesley's: 
 
 Thou hidden source of calm repose 
 Thou all sufficient love divine; 
 My help and refuge from my foes, 
 Secure I am while Thou art mine. 
 And lo, from sin and grief and shame 
 I hide me Jesus in Thy name. 
 
 Thy mighty name Salvation is 
 
 And keeps my happy soul above. 
 
 Comfort it brings and power and peace, 
 
 And joy and everlasting love. 
 
 To me with Thy great name is given 
 
 Pardon and holiness and heaven. 
 
 Jesus, my all in all Thou art; 
 My rest in toil, my ease in pain: 
 The med'cine for my broken heart: 
 In war my peace; in loss my gain; 
 My smile beneath the tyrant's frown; 
 In shame, my glory and my crown. 
 
 In want, my plentiful supply: 
 In weakness, my almighty power: 
 In bonds, my perfect liberty; 
 My light in Satan's darkest hour; 
 In grief, my joy unspeakable, 
 My life in death, my all in all. 
 
 He often quoted portions of Scripture, indicating 
 his assurance of victory. Brought to mind partic- 
 ularly are those memorable words of the Great Apos- 
 tle, " I have fought a good fight, I have finished my
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 231 
 
 course, I have kept the faith." A little after one 
 o'clock in the afternoon of January 9, 1912, he 
 lapsed into unconsciousness, and a few minutes be- 
 fore two o'clock his Spirit took its flight to that 
 shore which he had often viewed in anticipation, 
 '' To Canaan's fair and happy land, where my pos- 
 sessions lie." 
 
 On November 30, 1911, he had attained to the 
 age apportioned to man of " threescore years and 
 ten," and was at the time of his death seventy years, 
 one month and nine days old. The funeral services 
 were held from his late residence, Thursday, January 
 11, 1912, being in charge of L. T. Hagerman and 
 A. P. Powers. His body was laid to rest during a 
 blinding snowstorm, in Greenhill cemetery at Sul- 
 livan, by the side of his wife, Nannie. 
 
 He was a man of unconquerable spirit, and looked 
 upon death as a merciless enemy. He battled against 
 his encroachments for the last few years of his life, 
 fighting a losing battle with cheerfulness and a gal- 
 lant spirit. When defeat became inevitable he looked 
 Death unflinchingly in the face, as courageous in 
 apparent defeat as in victory. " Soothed and sus- 
 tained by an unfaltering trust, he wrapped the dra- 
 pery of his couch about him, and lay down to pleasant 
 dreams." " O Grave, where is thy victory : O Death, 
 where is thy sting? " 
 
 " And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, 
 Write, Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord 
 from henceforth : yea, saith the Spirit, that they may 
 rest from their labors; and their works do follow 
 them."
 
 GOD'S MEANS OF SALVATION. 
 
 For after that, in the wisdom of God, the world by wisdom 
 knew not God, it has pleased God by the foolishness of 
 preaching to save them that believe. i Cor. i :2i. 
 
 Verily, verily, I say unto you, he that entereth not by the 
 door into the sheep fold, but climbeth up some other 
 way, the same is a thief and a robber. John 10:1. 
 
 Man is naturally averse to simplicity. He loves 
 and admires the spectacular, of which he longs to be 
 a conspicuous part. This is owing to ignorance of 
 his real spiritual condition. If he were conscious 
 of his spiritual rags and nakedness, he would shrink 
 from publicity and seek seclusion and concealment. 
 His foolish love of parading himself is pitiable to those 
 who have discernment. Naaman, the Syrian leper, 
 was foolish but he was natural. Though suffering 
 from an incurable and loathsome disease he could not 
 control his desire to occupy the center of the stage. 
 Informed by a captive Jewish maiden of the prophet 
 of Israel and his ability to heal him, he was not con- 
 tent to go as a humble suppliant as became his condi- 
 tion, but with pomp and state he approached the 
 prophet as though about to confer a favor rather 
 than beg one. When told simply to dip seven times 
 in Jordan and be clean from his leprosy, he was 
 offended and felt insulted. It seemed to him like 
 the play with the principal character left out. Where 
 was he to get any glory or notoriety out of such a 
 simple performance as that? Where was there any 
 
 233
 
 234 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 recognition of his importance as a great Syrian gen- 
 eral? Fortunately for him, his servant had more 
 sense of the fitness of things than his master had, and 
 his protest called him to a sounder way of thinking. 
 So God's way is too simple for vain foolish man. He 
 is not content to enter in by the door into the sheep- 
 fold, the simple natural procedure, but must needs 
 climb up some other way and rob Christ of His glory 
 that he may flatter his own pride and vanity. Nearly 
 all the effort of philosophy and metaphysical specu- 
 lation is directed toward finding some other way to 
 God than the one way provided by Him. The sinner, 
 vile and loathsome as he is, must needs parade himself, 
 though he is an offense to God and all pure beings. 
 The speculative thought of our present day as ex- 
 emplified in our universities and elsewhere is largely 
 pantheistic, and the religious thought of the times is 
 strongly impregnated with the same views. " Christian 
 Science," if not atheistic is pantheistic, though prac- 
 tically, pantheism is atheism. The doctrine of the 
 fatherhood of God and the brotherhood of man, so 
 popular at the present time is an offshoot of pantheism, 
 though many who use the phrase are not aware of it. 
 Pantheism denies the existence of moral evil or sin in 
 the universe. It denies the existence of a God ex- 
 ternal to nature and above nature, but recognizes a 
 spirit in nature which it calls God but does not define 
 Him, and this God is in fact a mere abstraction. 
 " Pan " means " all " and pantheism teaches that 
 everything is God and that man is the highest known 
 expression of God. It deifies man. Pope's celebrated 
 lines express the teachings of pantheism.
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 235 
 
 " All are but parts of one stupendous whole, 
 Whose body nature is, and God the soul." 
 
 Yet these transcendental teachers, like Emerson, 
 profess to come in to unity with, or experience of, this 
 Divine abstraction, this " Over-soul " of the world. 
 That is, they profess by their wisdom to have found 
 out God, and to have become acquainted with Him 
 by inward contemplation. They claim to have found 
 a way of approach to God which makes Christ un- 
 necessary and superfluous. Jesus says, " No man 
 cometh to the Father but by me." We have here then 
 a question of veracity between the mystical philos- 
 ophers and the Lord Jesus. They say they have done 
 what He says they cannot do. The Christian believer 
 cannot hesitate in his decision on this controversy. 
 Their supposed discovery is a delusion. If this is the 
 only way in which we can arrive at an acquaintance 
 with God, the great mass of humanity is doomed to 
 hopeless, irremediable ignorance of God ! and as knowl- 
 edge of God is essential to eternal life, as Jesus says 
 it is, the masses are doomed to eternal death. For 
 Jesus says, " This is eternal life to know Thee, the 
 only true God and Jesus Christ whom Thou hast 
 sent." The masses are doomed, since it is claimed 
 that a high degree of culture and sublimation of soul 
 is necessary to enable one thus to find God in nature. 
 This, the masses never can attain to. And if they 
 could, what practical good would such a knowledge 
 of God do them? Yet we have this same nonsense 
 taught, not only in our universities, but in our public 
 schools ; by tyro transcendentalists, admirers of Ralph 
 Waldo Emerson and his ethical teaching. It is gen- 
 uine atheism and a denial of the only true God and of
 
 236 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 His Son, Jesus Christ. The world, by its wisdom, 
 has never found out God, and never will. Christ is 
 the only way to God, the only door of the sheep. 
 Those who teach some other way are bent on mis- 
 chief and would rob men of the things most valuable 
 to them. 
 
 It is not an oversight that man by his own wisdom 
 is not able to discover God, but by design. It is so 
 determined in the wisdom of God. It is " in the 
 wisdom of God " that " the world by wisdom knows 
 not God." God had more respect to the needs of 
 humanity than the philosophers have, much as they 
 boast of their humanitarianism. He cares for the 
 masses, the poor, the ignorant, the lowly. He has 
 devised a scheme which reaches down to the lowest 
 and meets their needs and provides salvation for them ; 
 which lifts them up out of darkness and makes them 
 meet companions for angels and brings them into 
 harmony and fellowship with the infinite God. Which 
 makes them really God's children, partakers of His 
 holiness. And for the accomplishment of this purpose 
 of divine benevolence, He has provided agencies the 
 most unique and yet the most simple; such as human 
 wisdom would never have thought of, and which 
 human wisdom pronounces foolishness. For " It has 
 pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save 
 them that believe." No doubt, God sees such instru- 
 mentalities to be the most effective of any that could 
 be used or He would not have chosen them. We 
 would naturally suppose at first thought that in the 
 work of lifting up fallen humanity to a higher spiritual 
 plane, God would make use of agents from that 
 spiritual world in this great work. Angels and Arch-
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 237 
 
 angels would be willing laborers in this vineyard of 
 the Lord. But God has not seen fit to use these 
 pure and perfect beings as ambassadors, bearing mes- 
 sages of mercy and hope to lost men, but He has 
 elected to use men of like passions with those to 
 whom they are sent; men compassed with infirmities; 
 liable to mistakes ; earthen vessels ; that the excellency 
 of the power may be of God and not of men. That 
 God should have left this stupendous work of saving 
 a lost race to fallible man, is a most astonishing fact. 
 Because it has become commonplace to us, we do not 
 rightly appreciate it. And if it were not that He 
 has sent the Holy Spirit to be efficient Agent in the 
 work, it would be incredible. It is only as He works 
 through these human instruments, anything good can 
 be accomplished. In order to raise the fallen, it is 
 necessary to get them near to God Himself. That He 
 might gain the confidence of lost men, He became 
 incarnate, a partaker of flesh and blood. We needed 
 a Savior who appealed to humanity because of having 
 experiences in common with it. The further we are 
 above those who need help, the more difficult it is 
 for them to have confidence in our sympathy and our 
 understanding of their needs. The more we have 
 in common with them, the nearer we seem to them, 
 and the more readily they listen to us and the more 
 willing are they to accept help from us. Perfect in- 
 telligences like angels seem at first view much more 
 competent messengers of love and mercy to lost men 
 than imperfect fallible man can be; but they are 
 too far removed from them to have the best success 
 in such a work. Consequently, God has entrusted 
 to the work of preaching the gospel to fallible men.
 
 238 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 Not only can they tell men of the power of Christ to 
 save, but at the same time they can furnish living 
 examples of that power. They get nearer to sinners 
 because they have been sinners themselves. They 
 can, with confidence, declare the power and willingness 
 of Christ to save others because He has saved them. 
 They know by experience what they preach as the 
 truth. This, an angel could not know. But though 
 men because of their humanity are best fitted for 
 successful preachers of the gospel, if left to them- 
 selves they would utterly fail. Though human and 
 fallible instruments are used in gospel work, they 
 must be under the direction and control of an in- 
 fallible Agent, the Holy Spirit. So Jesus would not 
 send forth the apostles to preach the everlasting gospel 
 until the descent of the Holy Spirit. They were totally 
 unfitted for the preaching of the gospel until they 
 had received the Holy Ghost, and men now are just 
 as much unfitted as they were then, until they receive 
 this baptism. No amount of learning or training can 
 take the place of the Holy Spirit in the great work of 
 preaching the gospel. Other things being equal, that 
 man is best equipped for gospel work who is most 
 fully under the teaching, guidance and inspiration of 
 the Holy Spirit. Without this Spirit, learning is 
 sounding brass, and eloquence is tinkling cymbal, ut- 
 terly impotent to do anything for the salvation of 
 lost man. To suppose that the apostles who for three 
 years had been with Christ and listened to His teaching 
 had more need of the Holy Spirit to fit them for 
 gospel preaching than men have now, is extremely 
 absurd. It takes just the qualifications now as then 
 to equip a man to preach the gospel. The apostle Paul
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 239 
 
 is emphatic in claiming that he received his gospel 
 direct from the Lord Jesus, and in a sense, so must 
 any man who successfully preaches it. He may re- 
 ceive instruction through human instrumentality but 
 can get an understanding of the truth only from the 
 teachings of the Holy Spirit. One generation can 
 not hand down the truth to another, since each gen- 
 eration must get its truth from the same source. God 
 alone can teach us the truth. We may perpetuate the 
 form of sound words, but this will do little good, 
 and no good only as men who hear or read have the 
 interpretation of the Holy Spirit. Hence we can do 
 little for future ages. We can but serve the present 
 age. This explains why a real reformation or work of 
 God so soon languishes and dies out. Men lose out 
 of it the Holy Spirit who alone gives it vitality and 
 virility. Each generation must furnish its own 
 prophets, its own reformers. Each age is occupied 
 in persecuting its own prophets and in building and 
 garnishing the sepulchers of the prophets of former 
 ages. What a satire upon human hypocrisy. No, we 
 cannot inherit the truth from our ancestors, nor hand 
 it down to our posterity. We may entail our wealth 
 upon our descendants and keep it in the family, so 
 that our children may begin life where we left off, 
 but in spiritual things they must begin where we 
 began. They must learn the truth where we learned 
 it. The same means are necessary to save them that 
 were necessary to save us. If this were not so, man- 
 kind might gradually be evolved into a heavenly state, 
 and sin be eliminated by natural generation. It may be 
 a sad thought, but it is in harmony with the facts 
 in the case that we must all begin at the foot of the
 
 240 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 ladder of spiritual progress; each must for himself 
 climb the hill of Zion. It takes just the same to save 
 sinners now as it did two thousand years ago, and 
 the appointed means to that end have not been changed. 
 Still it pleases God by the foolishness of preaching 
 to save them that believe. We are not to understand 
 from this language that preaching is really foolishness, 
 but that it is such only in the estimation of worldly- 
 wise men. The preaching of a crucified Christ is 
 to the Jews a stumbling block, and to the Greeks fool- 
 ishness. In this classification, the Greeks include all 
 those who are not Jews. To the Jews the gospel was 
 too serious a matter to be considered foolishness, but 
 to the pagan Greeks, it seemed a matter unworthy 
 of notice. It seems the same to their successors 
 today. They can see no good, no utility, in gospel 
 preaching. Just in proportion as men are wise in 
 worldly things, do they despise the simple gospel. 
 To such, it is antiquated and behind the times. In 
 their estimation, we need something more up-to-date, 
 more modern ; a gospel that has to do with present 
 human interests and economic questions of the times, 
 rather than with the interests of a future state of 
 existence. They esteem it a weakness to be so much 
 concerned with one's own personal salvation, that it 
 is a narrow and selfish thing to be engrossed with the 
 preparation for a heavenly state. This demand for 
 a modern gospel is met by the popular preacher who 
 deals with economic problems in the pulpit and with 
 moral and political reform to the exclusion of Christ 
 crucified. As a result of such betrayal of their trust, 
 the masses have forsaken their ministrations and left 
 them with empty pews to face a faithless pulpit.
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 241 
 
 Preaching is despised, and the shorter the sermon, the 
 more acceptable it is to modern hearers. The people 
 do not want a real gospel, and they soon tire of a 
 sham gospel. They exemplify Christ's parable. They 
 are like children sitting in the market and saying unto 
 their fellows, " We have piped to you, and ye have 
 not danced, we have mourned unto you, and ye have 
 not lamented." But though a false gospel is a failure 
 in the way of doing men good, yet the preaching of 
 the gospel is still God's 'appointed means of saving 
 men from sin and wrath. Other means than preaching 
 may be used to that end, but there is no promise that 
 they will be so used. No other instrumentality than 
 that of men will be used. The Lord Jesus, when 
 He arrested Saul of Tarsus in his mad career, when 
 asked by Saul what He would have him do, would 
 not give him the desired information. He would 
 not preach the gospel to Saul, but sent him to Annanias, 
 or Annanias to him, to tell him what he should do. 
 The Lord has absolutely committed the work of 
 preaching to men and to them alone. When Cor- 
 nelius, the Roman Centurion, was earnestly seeking 
 light from God, the Lord sent an angel to tell him 
 where to find Peter, a preacher of the gospel, but 
 the angel was not permitted to preach the gospel to 
 him. That work has been committed to men only. 
 In order to preach the gospel, men must know the 
 gospel. Gospel ministers must " speak that they do 
 know." The apostles and early evangelists had been 
 under Christ's tutelage for three years, but yet they 
 did not know the truth. Jesus said to His disciples, 
 " If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples 
 indeed; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth
 
 242 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 shall make you free." They did not, then, know it 
 as yet. If they had not learned the truth after a 
 three years' course in Christ's school, men can scarcely 
 hope to gain a knowledge of it by a course in a theo- 
 logical seminary. For this purpose, the Holy Spirit 
 was given, that they and we might learn the truth. 
 Jesus said " He (the Holy Spirit) shall teach you all 
 things and bring all things to your remembrance 
 whatsoever I have said unto you." " He shall guide 
 you into all truth." The Holy Spirit is the efficient 
 Agent in all true gospel preaching, man is but the 
 instrument used. To awaken, enlighten, convince and 
 persuade men, is the work of God, and nothing short 
 of divine power can do these things. God uses man 
 as His mouthpiece; He speaks through him; but God 
 must speak to us or we will remain dead in trespasses 
 and sins. The apostle Paul represents gospel preachers 
 as ambassadors for Christ, representing Him and 
 speaking for Him. Says he " As though God did be- 
 seech you by us, we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye 
 reconciled to God." An ambassador must be inde- 
 pendent of the power or people to whom he is sent 
 to insure his fidelity to the power that sends him. 
 If it is necessary for him to please those to whom he 
 is sent, he cannot at the same time faithfully represent 
 Him who sends him, for their several interests may 
 be diverse. Says the same apostle again, " If I yet 
 please men, I should not be the servant of Christ." 
 For this reason, God's ministers are made indepen- 
 dent of those to whom they are sent. God says to 
 them, " Be not servants of men." Though God had 
 ordained that they who preach the gospel shall live of 
 the gospel, it is the Lord's business to see that this plan
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 243 
 
 is carried out. And while it is woe to the man whom 
 God sends if he preach not the gospel, it is equal 
 woe to the man who receives the gospel if he does 
 not do his part in supporting it. We hear a great 
 deal now-a-days about a free gospel, and the duty of 
 those who preach it, but little about the corresponding 
 duty of those who hear it. They are very insistent 
 that Christ's ministers must preach at all hazzards 
 and at any sacrifice of ease and earthly good, but 
 are not willing to make any such sacrifice in sup- 
 porting the gospel. Like the Jewish lawyers of old 
 they bind heavy burdens and lay them on other men's 
 shoulders but are unwilling to lift a finger's weight 
 themselves. How easy it is to see another man's 
 duty. God had not put the burden of preaching the 
 gospel on just a few men that the remainder should 
 go free, and He will even things up after while. He 
 has not called one man to a life of toil and poverty 
 and self-sacrifice that others might be eased and left 
 free to buy and sell and get gains; to add farm to 
 farm and dollar to dollar, with a little pittance squeezed 
 out occasionally for the support of His gospel. Those 
 who imagine this to be true are deceiving themselves. 
 Peter declares that the gospel was first preached " with 
 the Holy Ghost sent down from heaven." So it must 
 still be preached to be effectual. In fact, without the 
 influence of the Holy Spirit attending the preaching, 
 it is not the gospel, but merely the shell of the gospel 
 without the meat. The gospel is the power of God; 
 without the Holy Spirit, it is merely the power of 
 man. No one is authorized to preach it unless com- 
 missioned of God, for " how shall they preach, except 
 they be sent ? " God will send no man until He had
 
 244 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 qualified him for the work; no more will He do so 
 now than in the case of the first gospel preachers. 
 Thus equipped, he has the promise of God's help and 
 protection. He says to all such, " Lo, I am with you 
 always." Of all God sends, He will make their great 
 commission known. They will need no commendation 
 from men, but through the power of God they will 
 commend themselves to every man's conscience in the 
 sight of God. They bring messages from God to 
 man and are responsible to Him for their delivery. 
 The Christian ministry is not a profession, but a 
 calling, a divine calling. No man represents God in 
 the work of the ministry except he be commissioned 
 orf God. Only such have the divine approval and the 
 divine commendation; only such preachers can be 
 successful in soul saving. Without a divine call and 
 a divine commission, men may be popular, renowned 
 and brilliant preachers, high in the esteem of their 
 fellow-men, but God does not recognize them nor 
 work through them. No doubt men are called to the 
 work of the ministery who are never sent because 
 never qualified. To those whom He calls and sends 
 out, Jesus says, " he that heareth you, heareth me." 
 " Whomsoever ye shall bind on earth, shall be bound in 
 heaven ; and whomsoever ye shall loose on earth, shall 
 be loosed in heaven." The great work of saving men 
 is committed to their hands, for the gospel they preach 
 is God's chosen instrumentality to that end. Under 
 the inspiration of the Holy Spirit there must be a 
 measure of infallibility in their teaching. It is a 
 mooted question among the Papists as to where the 
 infallibility of the church is lodged. It is recognized 
 as a necessity that it should reside somewhere. They
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 245 
 
 think it resides in the pope or a general council, or 
 in both combined. Protestants have generally given 
 up the idea or doctrine of an infallible church, and 
 hold only to an infallible bible. But God's ambassadors 
 must be infallible teachers in-so-far as that truth which 
 is essential to salvation is concerned, or it will not be 
 true that he who heareth them, heareth Christ. This 
 infallibility is secured by the teaching and guidance 
 of the Holy Spirit which Jesus promised to them. 
 They must have the inspiration of the same Spirit 
 that inspired the holy scriptures. Without this all will 
 be doubt and uncertainty. The infallibility of the 
 church and of God's ministers is secured by their 
 being under the inspiration and guidance of the Holy 
 Spirit. This inspiration is felt and recognized by 
 those who hear them. The Shepherd's voice is dis- 
 cerned when they speak. When we do not recognize 
 that voice, we are to flee from such a teacher; it 
 is the voice of a stranger. Jesus says, " My sheep 
 hear My voice and they follow Me; but a stranger 
 they will not follow for they know not the voice of 
 a stranger." Jesus spoke with authority and so do 
 those whom Jesus sends. He makes their great com- 
 mission known. " Blessed are the people that hear 
 the joyful sound; they shall walk, O Lord, in the 
 light of Thy countenance."
 
 THE CONVERSION OF ST. PAUL. 
 
 One of the greatest factors in the spread of Chris- 
 tianity in the first century of the Christian era was 
 the labors of the Apostle Paul. Though it is idle to 
 conjecture what might have been, yet to us at the 
 present time, it seems that the whole trend of events, 
 so far as the gospel is concerned, would have been 
 changed without his evangelism. No other man, no 
 not all the other apostles combined, had so much to 
 do in establishing the Christian system upon a sound 
 and firm basis. He was much more to the founding 
 of Christianity than Philip Melancthon was to the 
 Reformation, since he was not only the profound 
 theologian, but also the active, successful, indefatiga- 
 ble evangelist. His burning zeal found no parallel 
 among the other primitive laborers. All the powers 
 of his extraordinary intellect were exerted to the 
 utmost in the work of saving sinners and of upbuilding 
 the church in Holiness. To him we are indebted for 
 the arranging and systematizing of the principles and 
 doctrines of the gospel. So greatly is Christianity 
 indebted to his labors of tongue and pen, that some 
 skeptics have insinuated that he, rather than Jesus, 
 was its author. Saul, who was afterwards called Paul, 
 probably because of the smallness of his stature, was 
 born in Tarsus, a city of Cilicia, which was made a 
 free city by Augustus Caesar so that all the inhabitants 
 became Roman citizens. This must have taken place 
 not long before the birth of the future apostle. At 
 
 246
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 247 
 
 the time of his first appearance upon the stage of 
 history, which was not much to his credit, and oc- 
 curred at the death of Stephen, he could not have been 
 much more than thirty years old, so that he was born 
 shortly after the beginning of the Christian era. His 
 parents were Jews of strictly religious stock of the 
 tribe of Benjamin, which probably accounts for his 
 name, Saul, after the first Israelitish king, who was 
 also called a Benjamite. They were pharisees of the 
 strictest sort and brought up their son in the same 
 faith. His father must have been a man of some 
 wealth since he was able to give his son a finished edu- 
 cation according to the standard of the times. He was, 
 no doubt, intended for a Jewish Rabbi or doctor of the 
 law, and had as his instructor, Gamaliel, the most 
 noted doctor of his day. From the advice he gave 
 to his fellow religionists, as recorded by Luke, he 
 seems to have been a man of judicial temper, sound 
 judgment and good common sense. His disciple, 
 however, does not seem to have approved of his ad- 
 vice, for he did not follow it. His zeal for his re- 
 ligion would not permit him to remain a quiet spec- 
 tator, awaiting the logic of events, but he must needs 
 take a hand himself in shaping those events. You 
 remember the advice of Gamaliel concerning the Chris- 
 tians was to " refrain from these men and let them 
 alone ; if this work or device be of men, it will come 
 to naught ; but if it be of God, ye can not overthrow 
 it but may yourselves be found fighting against God." 
 This wise, do-nothing policy did not accord with the 
 impulsive, energetic nature of Saul of Tarsus, and he 
 disregarded it and took the first opportunity to show 
 his colors and to act in defence of his principles.
 
 248 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 Stephen's sermon, with its caustic indictment of Ju- 
 daism, filled him with indignation, and though as a 
 young rabbi he would not demean himself by throwing 
 stones, he was ready to encourage those who did throw 
 them by holding their garments that they might not be 
 impeded in their good work, or be prevented from 
 doing a good job. So Stephen, the Christian, died 
 while Saul, the Pharisee, raged. The face of the one 
 shone like that of an angel, while the other's coun- 
 tenance must have had quite a different aspect. 
 Stephen went home to glory, and Saul started for 
 Damascus with letters of authority from the San- 
 hedrim in his pocket and wrath in his heart to per- 
 secute the saints, put them in prison, or even deprive 
 them of life itself. Not being content to harass the 
 Christians in Jerusalem and its vicinity, he " persecuted 
 them unto strange cities, being exceedingly mad against 
 them," as he declares. There was nothing clandestine 
 or indirect in his warfare against the Christians ; 
 such tactics were foreign to his nature; he was an 
 open relentless foe. Everyone knew where he stood 
 and what he proposed to do. He breathed out threat- 
 ening and slaughter. Having done what harm he 
 could to the church at Jerusalem, and having gained 
 a reputation for cruelty and relentlessness which pre- 
 ceded him, he obtained authority from the chief 
 priests to go to foreign parts to continue the same 
 course of persecution, and started for Damascus, the 
 capital of Syria, which lay to the north of Palestine. 
 It is suggestive of the high estimation in which his 
 zeal and talents were held by the Jewish rulers that 
 so much authority should be intrusted to so young a 
 man. His superior talents were recognized and used
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 249 
 
 with avidity by the enemies of Christ. When we 
 contemplate Saul of Tarsus at this period of his 
 career, full of pharisaical self-righteousness, without 
 a doubt of the goodness of his cause and the righteous- 
 ness of his course, full of contempt and hatred of the 
 gospel and its votaries, his apparent religious duty 
 harmonizing with his worldly preferment and success, 
 he looks like a very unlikely candidate for conversion 
 to Christianity. With man the thing looked impossible, 
 but God saw differently. In the divine ken, he was 
 a chosen vessel of grace. 
 
 " But lo, the eternal counsel ran 
 Almighty love, arrest the man." 
 
 How little we know of the inner workings of any 
 human soul and of its prospects of salvation. Those 
 whom we would suppose the nearest salvation may 
 be the farthest away ; and those whom we consider 
 hopeless cases may be nearest the kingdom of heaven. 
 The Pharisees looked upon the publicans and harlots 
 as desperately wicked, as no doubt they were, yet they 
 entered the kingdom of heaven before their critics. 
 Their wickedness did not commend them nor give 
 them an advantage, but the contrary; but their moral 
 honesty which existed in spite of their outrageous 
 conduct gave them great advantage. 
 
 So Saul, having heard Stephen's preaching, and con- 
 senting unto his violent death, and full of dire purpose 
 of destruction to Christians and their heresy, left 
 Jerusalem and started on his journey toward Da- 
 mascus. The thoughts that filled his mind, we can only 
 conjecture. That Stephen's preaching had made some 
 impression upon his mind and conscience, we cannot 
 doubt, since he was an honest, though misguided, man.
 
 250 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 There was too much of the power of the Holy Spirit 
 in Stephen's sermon to fail to affect such a soul. Be- 
 sides, Saul was not an exception to the rule that it 
 is by the foolishness of preaching that God saves 
 them that believe. How little did Stephen realize 
 the far-reaching results of that sermon. It was success 
 enough for the labors of a lifetime to be instrumental 
 in the salvation of such a man. What honor has the 
 Lord given to His first martyr. But these results 
 might have been long delayed, had not extraordinary 
 means been used to bring matters to a crisis, the 
 persecutor to a decision. The readiness and prompt- 
 ness with which the decision was made shows the 
 condition of a mind almost persuaded. As the agent 
 of the sanhedrim rode along with the attendants who 
 accompanied him, suddenly an intense light shone 
 about him, producing such a shock that he fell to the 
 ground and heard a voice in the Hebrew tongue 
 saying, " Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me ? It 
 is hard for thee to kick against the goads." This 
 language of Christ proves that the truth which Saul 
 had heard was goading him while he was still disposed 
 to resist it, but with painful results to himself. Con- 
 viction then had resulted from Stephen's preaching. 
 The truth had entered his soul like a barbed arrow 
 and he could not shake it off. His question was very 
 natural ; " Who art Thou Lord ? " The reply was, " I 
 am Jesus whom thou persecutest." At once the culprit, 
 caught in the act, begins to show a disposition to sur- 
 render. Said he, " Lord, what will Thou have me 
 to do ? " And the Lord said to him, " Arise and go 
 into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou shalt 
 do." This was an astonishing intervention of the
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 251 
 
 Lord in behalf of Saul's salvation. There are two 
 reasons apparent for this unusual proceeding. The 
 first reason for such a miraculous intervention is the 
 protection of the church from such fierce persecution. 
 Saul must be stopped or the destruction of gospel 
 work was imminent. Nothing short of the direct inter- 
 position of God seemed adequate to accomplish this 
 result. Then again Saul ^was intended to fill the 
 apostleship made vacant by the fall of Judas. It is 
 true that the apostles before penticost, had under- 
 taken this work, but the fact that Christ chose Saul 
 for an apostle proves that He did not recognize this 
 apostolic choice, which was a mistaken usurpation of 
 Christ's prerogative to choose His own apostles. Christ 
 had called the other apostles by name, and in order 
 that Saul should not want any credentials of apostle- 
 ship, it was necessary that he should be called by Christ 
 directly. So he was called as one born out of due 
 time, as he himself says. For some reason either 
 natural or supernatural his eyesight was injured so that 
 he must be guided by others during the remainder of 
 his journey. His blindness may have been caused by 
 the intense light that shone about him, though those 
 who were with him do not seem to have been similarly 
 affected. They also saw the light though it may not 
 have shone upon them so directly, as they may have 
 been at a small distance from him. This is made more 
 probable by the fact that, though they heard a voice, 
 they did not distinguish the words spoken. Thus in 
 quite a different manner from that anticipated by him, 
 Saul of Tarsus made his entry into Damascus. While 
 under the immediate influence of the sudden and su- 
 pernatural interruption of his journey he seemed to
 
 252 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 be submissive enough, yet his proud spirit and stubborn 
 will were not yet broken. Thus often under the sudden 
 stress of grief or disaster we make vows, which 
 afterward, when the extraordinary pressure is re- 
 moved, we find it difficult to pay. The exceptional 
 interposition of the Lord Jesus in the case of Saul 
 did not introduce into his experience any factor not 
 found in the experience of every true believer. Saul's 
 conversion is usually called miraculous. So it was ; 
 but in this it does not differ from the experience of 
 other Christians. All genuine conversions are super- 
 natural, which is the same thing as miraculous. A 
 miracle is an event that cannot be accounted for by 
 the operation of known natural law. And are sinners 
 saved by the operation of natural law ? By no means. 
 The conversion of a sinner is a supernatural event, 
 and as much a proof of direct Divine interposition as 
 the raising of a dead man to life. Indeed Jesus de- 
 lares it to be a greater work than any one He Himself 
 performed while He was on earth. While there were 
 extraordinary circumstances attending Saul's conver- 
 sion, the conversion itself was an ordinary one. The 
 same means were used, the same conditions were re- 
 quired of him as of other men. Thus blind and at 
 bay, the bigoted Pharisee, the merciless persecutor of 
 the innocent was left to fight out the battle with him- 
 self to make the great decision upon which all his 
 future hung. The great problem which confronts 
 every convicted sinner confronted him, viz, " Can I 
 afford to give up all for Christ?" The world with 
 its honors and its flatteries seemed within his grasp. 
 He had just begun to taste the pleasures of power 
 and authority. They had not yet begun to pall upon
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 353 
 
 his taste. The allurements of a worldly career were 
 very enticing. On the other hand, though he did not 
 foresee all the afflictions which lay before him in the 
 future, he could feel assured of scorn and contempt, 
 stripes and imprisonment, the loss of friends and 
 the unremitting hatred of those whom he had been 
 serving. Perhaps, as he was yet a young man, his 
 parents still survived. They had been to much ex- 
 pense to fit him up for a career of usefulness as 
 a Jewish doctor, and had fondly hoped to see him 
 rise to prominence and wealth among his own people. 
 He must prove a bitter disappointment to them if 
 he yielded to these new convictions and accepted the 
 call of Christ. For three days and nights the con- 
 flict raged in his breast as he lay sleepless and fasting. 
 The demons of hell and the angels of heaven were 
 interested spectators of the struggle, waiting for the 
 decision to be reached. At length the die was cast, 
 the decision was made and he began to pray. He 
 had often said prayers in the past but now he really 
 prayed. He prayed for light and instruction and 
 deliverance, for that was what the Lord sent. There 
 was a Jewish Christian in Damascus by the name 
 of Annanias. The Lord appeared to him in a vision 
 and directed him to go to the rescue of Saul, declaring 
 that he was praying and had seen, in a vision, An- 
 nanias coming to him. But Annanias was afraid to 
 put himself in the power of a man of whom he had 
 heard so much evil, until the Lord assured him that 
 Saul was penitent and a chosen vessel of the Lord 
 for preaching His gospel. With these assurances, 
 Annanias went to the designated place in the street 
 that was called Straight, and found Saul in a deplor-
 
 254 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 able condition of weakness and affliction. He said 
 to him, " The Lord that appeared to thee in the way 
 hath sent me that thou mightst receive thy sight 
 and be rilled with the Holy Ghost. And now why 
 tarriest thou? Arise and be baptised and wash away 
 thy sins calling upon the name of the Lord." And 
 Saul " arose and was baptised " ; and we are told 
 that something like scales fell from his eyes and sight 
 returned; and having received food he was strength- 
 ened. Now what took place at the interview be- 
 tween these two men? The matter which concerns 
 many people is the question whether Annanias bap- 
 tized Saul in or with water. There seems to have 
 been no other person present at this meeting. Saul 
 was evidently not in the house of a Christian. Those 
 who accompanied him to Damascus would not have 
 taken him to such a house. It was probably the house 
 of an unbelieving Jew. Now it is possible that An- 
 nanias may have sprinkled or poured water on Saul, 
 but immersion is out of the question. It is generally 
 taken for granted that Saul was baptized with water. 
 But where is the proof? It is altogether improbable 
 and requires proof to substantiate it. Now I am 
 willing that anyone should believe this with or without 
 proof, but I must be convinced, and the burden of 
 proof is on those who so teach. Annanias did not 
 say that the Lord sent him to baptize Saul with 
 water or to baptize him at all. He says that he was 
 sent that Saul might receive his sight and be filled 
 (baptized) with the Holy Ghost; and he urged him 
 not to tarry, but have the work done at once. The 
 work to be done was to take place while he was 
 calling upon the name of the Lord, and was to wash
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 255 
 
 away his sins. Now why should he call upon God 
 for water baptism since a man was to perform it? 
 He should have called on Annanias. And would 
 water baptism wash away his sins ? " O," but says 
 one, " he was to wash away his sins by calling upon 
 the name of the Lord." No, the language will not 
 admit of this construction, nor will calling upon the 
 name of the Lord wash away sins, but baptism will, 
 if it is the right kind. It is evident from the language 
 of Annanias that the baptism was to wash away his 
 sins, and it was to be received from God while 
 calling upon Him for it. This could only have been 
 the baptism of the Holy Ghost. When the disciples 
 at pentecost were baptized with the Holy Ghost, they 
 were said to have been filled with the Holy Ghost ; 
 so the two expressions are synonymous. And when 
 Annanias said he was sent that Saul might be filled 
 with the Holy Ghost, it was the same as if he had 
 said he was sent that Saul might be baptized with the 
 Holy Ghost. If we substitute the word " baptized " 
 for the synonymous word " filled '' it will read, 
 " Brother Saul, the Lord that appeared to thee in 
 the way hath sent me that thou mightest receive 
 thy sight and be baptized with the Holy Ghost. And 
 now why tarriest thou? Arise and be baptized and 
 wash away thy sins, calling on the name of the Lord." 
 This makes everything clear and plain. All could 
 have taken place just as described without the pres- 
 ence of a third person, and nothing would have oc- 
 curred outside of the commission Annanias said he 
 had received from God. Saul may have been bap- 
 tized with water, but it must have been on some 
 future occasion from the one here described. On or
 
 256 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 after the time of his conversion, Saul received a new 
 name by which he was henceforth known. As I 
 have said, the conversion of St. Paul was in no respect 
 different from that of any believer. He heard the 
 gospel preached by Stephen, and was no doubt struck 
 by it and more or less thoroughly convinced of its 
 truth. He stubbornly resisted these convictions, and 
 persisted in his course of persecution, unwilling to 
 admit to himself that he was wrong. The Lord did 
 not assume to Himself that authority which He had 
 delegated to His disciples of preaching the gospel, 
 nor did He usurp the work of the Holy Spirit in 
 convincing of sin. . He simply called Paul to the 
 vacant apostleship in such a manner as to hasten the 
 crisis in his experience which was sure to come in 
 the case of any man who heard the gospel and who 
 was possessed of such honesty of heart as Paul pos- 
 sessed. With such a man there could be no half 
 measures. As a Jew, he was a whole hearted Jew. 
 He had the courage of his convictions, and whatever 
 he did, he did with all his soul. Conversion meant 
 with him, as it means to us, a complete spiritual and 
 moral revolution. Nothing short of this will avail. 
 He declares of himself that immediately he conferred 
 not with flesh and blood. No consideration of earthly 
 ties or selfish interests influenced, in the least, his 
 conduct. With single heartedness, he renounced all 
 worldly hopes and prospects, counting those things 
 which were gain to him as loss for Christ's sake, 
 and immediately began those Herculean labors of 
 travelling and preaching the gospel, which ended only 
 with his martyrdom in Rome in his old age. He 
 declares that he received his gospel directly from
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 257 
 
 Christ by revelation and was indebted to no man for 
 it. His revelations were so abundant, that to pre- 
 vent undue exaltation on account of them, he had to 
 endure special opposition and affliction which he de- 
 nominates " a thorn in the flesh, a minister of Satan " 
 to buffet him, and to prevent spiritual pride. It is 
 impossible to ascertain with certainty what his afflic- 
 tion was; whether it was some bodily weakness or 
 some external hindrance. It may have been some 
 personal antagonist, as the apostle speaks of it in the 
 masculine gender. I am disposed to think that it was 
 the latter, and was distinct from the infirmity in the 
 flesh, which he speaks of in his letter to the Galatians, 
 which they were said neither to have despised nor 
 rejected. This infirmity, some have conjectured to 
 have been stammering speech, since his enemies 
 charged against him that his bodily presence was weak 
 and his speech contemptible. Others have supposed 
 that he was afflicted with weakness of the eyes, as 
 when speaking of his infirmity to the Galatians he 
 said they were willing to have plucked out their own 
 eyes and given them to him. It may be that he 
 suffered from both these infirmities. But, however 
 much he was handicapped by them, he did not allow 
 them to dampen his zeal, nor hinder him, nor deter 
 him from exercising a faithful ministry. He even de- 
 clared that he would glory in his infirmities, that the 
 power of God might be more plainly discerned in his 
 labors. God is not always glorified by human gifts 
 and excellencies. They are liable 'to attract more 
 attention to the man than to his message. They tend 
 too much to the glorification of the instrument God 
 uses rather than to the glory of God. So the most
 
 258 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 efficient instrument or agent God ever used in the 
 spread of the gospel was probably the most handi- 
 capped by physical infirmities. Thus God, and not 
 Paul, had the praise of the results of his labors. A 
 fine presence, a melodious voice, great eloquence of 
 speech are pleasing accessories to preaching, but it 
 was the stammering Paul, not the eloquent Apollos 
 that brought most glory to God. It was the small, 
 insignificant looking Paul, not the majestic, imposing 
 appearing Barnabas, that was most successful in the 
 work of the ministry. These pleasing gifts impress 
 the fancy and move the feelings of the hearer, but 
 may fail to convince the judgment, and their effects 
 are likely to prove evanescent, and the impressions 
 may not prove permanent. In these considerations we 
 may detect a valuable hint, and from these facts of 
 holy writ we may draw a valuable lesson. " We have 
 this treasure in earthen vessels that the excellency of 
 the power may be of God and not of us."
 
 THE DOCTRINE OF THE IMPUTATION OF 
 SIN AND RIGHTEOUSNESS. 
 
 "As by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so 
 by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous," 
 Rom. 4:19. 
 
 "Sin is not imputed where there is no law." Rom. 4:13. 
 
 " Blessed is the man to whom the Lord will not impute sin." 
 Rom. 4:8. 
 
 There is no doubt that the most profound theo- 
 logical essay ever written is Paul's epistle to the Ro- 
 mans, and there is no part of the Holy Writ that 
 has been so variously explained and so differently 
 understood, or rather, misunderstood. The Lord Jesus 
 did not see fit to construct a system of theology; 
 His teachings are not dogmatic. The fundamental 
 principles of His religion are found scattered through 
 His teachings, but they are not arranged in order 
 or systematized, so that their harmony and interde- 
 pendence might be easily seen. We are not to conclude 
 that, from this circumstance, system and dogma are 
 useless and unprofitable. We have no authority for, 
 such an inference. The Lord may have had various 
 reasons for His conduct in this matter. Our Lord 
 committed nothing to writing, but that is no proof that 
 He did not want His teachings written down, though 
 He gives no instructions for so doing. His reasons 
 for these things we may not be able to discover, but 
 they must be good ones. It is evident that as much 
 as possible of the work of saving men was left to the 
 agency of God's people. God does nothing directly 
 that He can do through them. It would have served 
 
 259
 
 260 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 no good end for Him to have given us a system of 
 theology. He wished to stimulate our curiosity and to 
 induce research. He said, " Search the Scriptures." 
 God's plan of salvation can not be understood at a 
 glance. It requires much time and experience to gain 
 a knowledge of it. If Christ had given us a compre- 
 hensive system of doctrines, we would have imagined 
 we understood it when we did not. Then men would 
 have differed as much about this system of theology 
 as they do about the inspired scriptures we now have. 
 Christ was often called the Great Teacher, though His 
 principal work was not to teach men but to redeem 
 them. They were not in a spiritual condition to be 
 taught. Like Nicodemus, they could not understand 
 even earthly things, much less heavenly things. God 
 had provided a Great Teacher for His people: viz, 
 the Holy Spirit. Jesus said, " He shall teach you 
 all things " ; " He shall guide you into all truth." He 
 brought to their remembrance all things Jesus had 
 spoken that they might write them down for the in- 
 struction of future ages. This is the dispensation of 
 the Holy Spirit. He is our Teacher, our Guide, our 
 Leader, our Comforter. He is that person of the 
 Godhead who is in the world and with whom we 
 come in vital contact. Through Him alone can we 
 learn the truth and be instructed in the Gospel doc- 
 trines. The evangelists were led by this Spirit to 
 write the gospels, giving us samples of Christ's teach- 
 ings and narratives of His life among men. Others 
 were inspired by the same Spirit to write epistles to 
 the various churches. The chief of these letter 
 writers was the apostle Paul, one of the greatest in- 
 tellects that ever adorned this earth. He claimed to
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 261 
 
 get his gospel directly from God and not from the 
 teachings of any man. This seems to have been 
 necessary to him as an apostle of Jesus Christ. He 
 claimed such an abundance of these revelations that 
 he was in danger of being unduly exalted so that 
 buffetings were necessary for him to keep him humble. 
 No one now need expect such revelations as St. Paul 
 received, as they are not necessary; but the same 
 Holy Spirit that taught him will teach us through 
 the revealed word, and guide us into all truth. There 
 has been more controversy over the epistle to the 
 Romans than over any other book in the Bible. It 
 certainly comes under Peter's description of Paul's 
 writings as being hard to be understood, which some 
 wrest to their own destruction. A system of doctrine 
 is useful to all, and to some minds a necessity. It 
 gives us a better understanding of any truth to per- 
 ceive its relation to other truths. It is said that order 
 is heaven's first law; and the apostle Paul declares 
 that God delights in order and abhors confusion. So 
 He has, through the apostles, given us a system of 
 doctrines, and especially has He thus used the apostle 
 Paul, who was the best equipped for this work of 
 all the apostles both in ability and training. Yet 
 what the apostles have done in this direction does 
 not prohibit or exclude our efforts in the same work. 
 
 The subject under consideration naturally divides 
 itself into two parts: 
 
 (1) "Imputation of sin"; (2) "Imputation of 
 righteousness." 
 
 (1) We will consider, first, the doctrine of the 
 imputation of sin. 
 
 If nothing were said of this matter in the Scriptures
 
 262 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 there are facts in nature which would suggest it to 
 thinking men. These phenomena are not obscure, 
 but are thrust upon our notice and attention. It is 
 a patent fact, acknowledged on all hands, that in this 
 world the innocent often suffer with the guilty. It 
 is one of the principal defects of human governments 
 that their laws bear unequally upon their subjects 
 and that injustice is an inevitable result of the ad- 
 ministration of justice. The interests of all classes 
 are so inextricably mingled that they can not be 
 segregated when law is enforced, and thus the inno- 
 cent are made to suffer. This is unfortunate but 
 unavoidable. That is, in other words, under human 
 laws crime is imputed to the innocent and they are 
 dealt with as if they were guilty. This is one of 
 the results of the imperfection of human nature, which 
 is derived from the fall of our first parents. The 
 worst feature of this injustice of human law is that 
 it has no recompense. An innocent man is suspected 
 of having committed a felony, is arrested, indicted 
 and tried for his life. Before the trial he is imprisoned 
 while awaiting the session of the court. And though 
 he may escape conviction, his substance is wasted, his 
 reputation smirched, his family stigmatized, his busi- 
 ness ruined and he is turned loose, glad to escape with 
 his life. What return does society make to this victim 
 for the suffering and loss it has occasioned him ? None 
 whatever. Since, then, in his relations and dealings 
 with his fellows an innocent man is liable to have 
 transgression imputed, it is not so strange and startling 
 a proposition that the same thing should be found 
 true in his relation to God. Man's defection from 
 righteousness made one of two courses necessary in
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 263 
 
 his case. Either the sin and its punishment must be 
 confined to, and end with the first transgressors ; or if 
 allowed to propagate their' species, they must produce 
 children exposed to the same evils as they themselves 
 were exposed to, living under the same conditions. 
 As they themselves were mortal, exposed to natural 
 evil and subject to vanity: viz, sickness, pain and 
 various sufferings, so would their innocent children be. 
 In other words their sin would be imputed to their 
 innocent offspring, since they would suffer the same 
 as if they had committed the sin their parents had 
 committed. We are not to understand when it is said 
 that Adam's sin is imputed to his descendants, that 
 God regards them as actually guilty of that sin, but 
 that they suffer the same penalty in this life as those 
 who were actually guilty did suffer. So the apostle 
 declares, " Nevertheless death reigned from Adam to 
 Moses even over them that had not sinned after the 
 similitude of Adam's transgression." (Rom. 4:14.) 
 This was true though " Sin is not imputed where 
 there is no law," and the law was not given until 
 Moses. Hence, death could not have been the result 
 of their own personal transgressions. If it be ad- 
 mitted, as the apostle declares, that death is the penalty 
 of sin, it must also be admitted that it is not the 
 penalty of our own personal sin, since those die who 
 could not have sinned. Little innocent children die 
 and are subject to the same natural evils as adults. 
 " For the creature was made subject to vanity, not 
 willingly, but by reason of Him who hath subjected 
 the same in hope." (Rom. 8:20.) God's people like- 
 wise are left under the dominion of vanity and death. 
 " For if Christ be in you, the body is dead because
 
 264 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 of sin, but the spirit is life because of righteousness." 
 (Rom. 8:10.) Adam's sin is still imputed to God's 
 people. " Because of sin " means Adam's sin, and 
 " Because of righteousness " means Christ's righteous- 
 ness. As our own personal disobedience had no part 
 as the cause of our subjection to vanity and death, so 
 our own personal obedience is no part of the cause 
 of our deliverance from death and vanity. As dying 
 is entirely without condition and responsibility on our 
 part, so deliverance from death is equally without 
 condition on our part. As to the manner of our 
 resurrection we have responsibility, but not as to the 
 fact. I have no more responsibility for being de- 
 livered from the grave than for having been born 
 mortal. " For as in Adam all die, so in Christ shall 
 all be made alive." (1 Cor. 15:22.) As we died 
 in Adam without our fault so will we be made alive 
 in Christ without anything being required on our part. 
 I speak thus fully on this point because of the in- 
 ferences to be drawn from it. The resurrection of 
 the body is no part of the salvation which we obtain 
 by faith in Christ. It comes to us unconditionally, 
 as it does to every man, saint and sinner. Our faith 
 has nothing to do with it. I trust that I make this 
 point clear. Sickness, pain and death are the result 
 of imputed sin which we personally have no part in, 
 while the resurrection of our bodies will be the result 
 of imputed righteousness in which we have as little 
 part. It follows then that our salvation from sin by 
 faith in Christ exerts no influence over natural evil, 
 the result of Adam's sin. In other words, those who 
 are saved from sin through faith in Christ Jesus, have 
 in no wise changed their relation toward natural evil,
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 265 
 
 but are under the curse, and suffer the results of 
 the sin of our first parents just as they did before. 
 This fact contradicts the teaching, now quite prev- 
 alent, that sickness is a shame to a Christian. He 
 is no more exempt from sickness or other natural 
 evil than a sinner is, since his moral or spiritual 
 condition has nothing to do either in producing or 
 preventing it. In order to be exempt from sickness 
 he must be delivered from the curse of the first sin. 
 Now he is either under the curse which denounces 
 sickness, pain and death and all natural evil, or he 
 is exempt from it. If under the curse, he is in the 
 same condition he was born in; if exempt from the 
 curse, he is no longer subject to death or any natural 
 evil. There is no middle ground. He would never 
 need healing for he would never be sick. What 
 folly and absurdity it is to claim exemption from 
 sickness and not claim exemption from death since 
 the same cause produces both. God does sometimes 
 in the exercise of His sovereignty heal specific cases 
 of disease as Christ did while on earth, and for the 
 same purpose that he raised Lazarus from the dead, 
 for His own glory; but those are the exceptions, not 
 the rule. I have no more right to a claim in Christ 
 to continuous health than I have to endless life without 
 dying. It is true that God has made two exceptions 
 to the rule and took Enoch and Elijah to heaven 
 without dying, but that gives me no claim to exemption 
 from " the inevitable hour " ; no more does the fact 
 that Christ healed some sick people give me a claim 
 to exemption from sickness. If I am delivered from 
 the results of Adam's sin, then I am not only ex- 
 empt from sickness and death, but from sorrow,
 
 266 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 bereavement, accident from loss by fire or flood, from 
 drought, or the destruction of fruits or crops by 
 noxious insects and from every other natural calamity. 
 I should expect rain and sunshine when I need them 
 whether my neighbors have them or not. Since it is 
 evident that the Christian is not exempt from all 
 these evils, it follows that he is exempt from none 
 of them. It is clear that the apostles knew nothing 
 of freedom from natural evil on the part of Chris- 
 tians. They did not profess to be exempt from sick- 
 ness themselves nor teach that others were. But 
 some may object that it is not claimed that Christ- 
 tians will not get sick, but that if sick may be im- 
 mediately healed if they have faith in God. But I 
 reply that if God will heal sickness immediately when 
 it supervenes, and if it is a proof of want of faith 
 to be sick, this must be because it is not the will 
 of God that His people should be sick. If this is 
 true, will not faith prevent sickness as well as heal 
 it? If it is not God's will that I should be sick, what 
 need is there that I should get sick? Then I should 
 never need healing if I have faith. Faith will surely 
 be as strong as a preventive as it will be as a cure. 
 It is generally understood that the apostle Paul was 
 subject to some disease but it is not clear what the 
 malady was. Whether the " thorn in the flesh " of 
 which he speaks was some diseased condition as many 
 suppose, or some human antagonist, is not certainly 
 known, but it was the source of weakness, since 
 God, in refusing his request for removal, replies, 
 " My grace is sufficient for thee, for My grace is 
 made perfect in weakness." And the apostle con- 
 cludes that he would much rather glory therefore in
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 267 
 
 his infirmities. O, shameless man. Then St. Paul 
 left Trophemus at- Miletum sick. What a shame and 
 disgrace. If he had possessed faith like our modern 
 apostles this would not have occurred. I suppose 
 Trophemus was profoundly ashamed o'f himself as 
 became him to be. Then there was Timothy, that 
 eminent laborer in the gospel, the spiritual son of 
 the apostle Paul and greatly beloved by him. Tim- 
 othy suffered from a weak stomach, and had frequent 
 attacks of illness. Doubtless this tended to interfere 
 with his gospel labors. But it seems that neither the 
 sufferer himself nor the great apostle to the Gentiles 
 had faith enough to heal him. It is true that on 
 occasion St. Paul had power to raise a man from the 
 dead, but it seems to have failed in Timothy's case. 
 And worst of all to the scandal of modern healers, 
 he recommended to Timothy to use a remedy. Alas 
 for St. Paul. He has forfeited the confidence of 
 our modern faith healers. But this much can be said 
 in his favor, he raised a dead man to life, which none 
 of them has done so far as reported. I trust this 
 fact will modify their judgment of him, though I 
 can not hope that it will entirely exculpate him. 
 Probably the greatest " fake " of modern times is the 
 prevalent faith healing. It proceeds upon the theory, 
 which I have shown to be a false one, that it is 
 criminal and shameful for a Christian to be sick or 
 diseased. It runs through the entire gamut of relig- 
 ious opinions, from the atheism of Christian Science 
 to the fanaticism of Dowieism ; from the miraculous 
 power of relics at a Roman Catholic shrine to a 
 mountebank like Schlatter. I have equal confidence 
 in all of them since they all exhibit equally convincing
 
 268 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 testimony of the reality of their cures. That God 
 should be using all these conflicting and antagonistic 
 agencies for the performance of miraculous cures, 
 overtaxes my credulity. And yet, if I believe one of 
 them I must believe all of them, for, as I have said, 
 they all produce equally convincing testimony. No 
 doubt there are many apparent cures, but I refuse 
 to believe that there is anything supernatural in them. 
 I have known a violent toothache cured by 
 simply starting toward the dentist's office, but it was 
 no miracle, nor was the cure permanent. But some 
 one may enquire, " Do you not then believe that God 
 can heal the sick?" I certainly do believe that God 
 can heal the sick and raise the dead, and that He 
 will do either or both whenever He sees it to be 
 to His glory to do so; and that he will use His 
 people as His instruments in this work. And I further 
 believe that any man who has faith to save his soul 
 from sin has sufficient faith to save his body from 
 disease when it is God's will that he should be thus 
 healed. Not. only can God heal the sick, but He is 
 the author of healing as the Devil is the author 
 of disease. Whether a man is healed of disease with 
 or without the use of remedies, God does the healing. 
 The use of remedies is condemned by these faith 
 healers as being inconsistent with faith in God. But 
 this assumption is untenable. The denunciation of 
 physicians and medicines is unreasonable. I am not 
 disposed to set up a^ defence of physicians, and I 
 am persuaded that the less medicine people take, es- 
 pecially poisonous drugs, the better they are off; 
 but an indiscriminate condemnation of all remedies 
 is absurd. I am perfectly willing that anyone should
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 269 
 
 refuse to use medicines if he believes them harmful, 
 and I am persuaded that people are just as well off 
 without medicines as with them, as they do as much 
 harm, probably, as they do good ; yet there is no force 
 in the claim that the use of remedies in every case 
 is inconsistent with faith in God. I know that if I 
 am healed, God must heal me, whether with or without 
 medicines; and I know that if I am fed, God must 
 feed me, whether I labor for a living or not. But 
 it does not follow that I must sit down and wait 
 for God to feed me, because he fed Elijah by means 
 of ravens, or the Lord Jesus in the wilderness by 
 means of angels. Because I am dependent on God 
 for food does not make it inconsistent with faith in 
 God for me to work. So far is this from being 
 true that the apostle Paul has declared that the man 
 who will not work shall not eat. God is as able 
 to feed me without work as He is to heal me without 
 medicine, but He has not promised to do either, unless 
 necessity demands it. If I cannot work I can trust 
 God to feed me without it. If I know no remedy for 
 disease I can trust God to heal me without any. 
 In other words God will do for us what we cannot 
 do for ourselves. But if I know of some remedy 
 that is likely to give me ease frorn pain and I will 
 not use it, how can I trust God to heal me any more 
 than I can trust Him to feed me if I will not work? 
 But one may object that he knows that labor will 
 obtain food but he does not certainly know the effect 
 of a medicine. But you do not know that labor will 
 procure food. The farmer may labor all season to 
 obtain a crop for the sustenance of his family and be 
 disappointed. Flood, or drought, or storm, or nox-
 
 270 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 ious insects may entirely destroy the results of his 
 labors. Is he therefore justifiable in sitting down and 
 refusing to labor because the result is uncertain? 
 Usually his labor is rewarded with success. Usually 
 a certain remedy gives relief. In neither case is the 
 result certain. In neither case is one justifiable in 
 doing nothing; and in neither case is action contrary 
 to faith in God. I am not trying to persuade any 
 person to employ physicians or to take medicines. 
 That is a matter of indifference to me. Let every 
 man be fully persuaded in his own mind. I am 
 combatting the notion that abstinence from the use 
 of remedies is necessary to faith in God. That claim 
 is unscriptural, unreasonable and fanatical. I have 
 known persons who would not use cold water to 
 assuage a raging fever so bound were they by fear 
 of offending God by using remedies. It is to deliver 
 from such bondage as this that I labor. It seems 
 to me that the emphasis that is at present laid upon 
 the subject of physical healing without the use of 
 medicine is an effort of Satan to distract earnest 
 souls from a matter of much more importance: viz, 
 the salvation of the soul. The health of the body 
 is a matter of comparatively little importance. As 
 the poet has written: 
 
 " How vain a toy is glittering wealth, 
 If once compared with Thee: 
 And what's my safety or my health, 
 Or all my friends to me? 
 Were I possessor of the earth, 
 And called the stars my own, 
 Without Thy graces and Thyself 
 I were a wretch undone."
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 271 
 
 The saving of the soul is a much greater work 
 than the healing of the body. Jesus gave healing 
 power to the disciples while they were even yet un- 
 converted, but they could not do the work of the 
 gospel until they had received the Holy Spirit, giving 
 them power and qualifying them for gospel preaching. 
 This is the greater work that Jesus promised they 
 should do after His return to the Father. If they 
 are qualified for this greater work, they certainly 
 must be qualified for the lesser. To set up healing 
 the sick as a greater work than that of preaching the 
 gospel, requiring greater faith and deeper experience, 
 is to contradict Christ, turn the gospel topsy-turvy, 
 and draw the special attention of men to the things 
 of least importance and away from the matter of 
 highest moment. Thus Satan will deceive, if possible, 
 the very elect. I have no doubt the honest, sincere 
 souls have been affected by this snare of Satan, but 
 God will deliver them if they remain simple and 
 teachable. Early in my Christian experience I was 
 in danger from this wile of the Devil, but the Lord 
 graciously delivered me. Through suffering I learned 
 the needed lesson. We have a right to all the help 
 our friends can give; to benefit by all the lessons 
 of experience and observation; to gain advantage 
 from all the discoveries of science, realizing at the 
 same time that by whatever means or through what- 
 ever channel help may come, the Lord Himself sends it. 
 
 We conclude from the arguments adduced that 
 since the curse of natural evil, sickness, pain and 
 death with all their concomitant evils are the result 
 of Adam's sin and are ours through imputation of 
 that sin, that God's people, like other men, are still
 
 272 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 under this curse and will be until the redemption of 
 their bodies in the resurrection. That though the 
 Lord may, in special emergencies, deliver His people 
 from special attacks of disease, He leaves them still 
 under the inexorable decree of which fact the death 
 of Christians is the undeniable proof. 
 
 This imputation of the sin of another would be 
 manifest injustice unless restitution shall in some way 
 be made. As I said in the beginning, the suffering 
 of the innocent was unavoidable if our first parents 
 were allowed to perpetuate the species, and I think 
 that everyone, if the matter were left to his choice, 
 would choose existence, even under these circum- 
 stances, rather than nonexistence. But God does not 
 intend that the suffering of the innocent shall extend 
 beyond this short life. No one will suffer in the 
 future world as a result of Adam's sin, but solely 
 as a result of his own free choice. The mortal life, 
 lost through the first transgression will be restored 
 unconditionally through the atonement of Christ. 
 And though this restored life will be of no advantage 
 to the impenitent, that is their own fault. Every 
 man, through the gospel of Christ, may have recom- 
 pense for all his sufferings here which result from 
 imputed sin. The apostle Paul declares that these 
 light afflictions, which are but momentary, work out 
 for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of 
 glory. And if this is not true in the future experi- 
 ence of anyone, it is because he has chosen that it 
 shall not be true. The believer will have reason to 
 thank God in eternity for the sufferings undergone 
 through imputed sin, since " The sufferings of this 
 present time are not worthy to be compared with the
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 273 
 
 glory that shall be revealed in us." Thus, though we 
 may suffer and do suffer for the fault of another, we 
 may, if we will, find abundant recompense for all 
 our suffering. Those who die in infancy do find this 
 recompense for suffering the same as the believer 
 through the obedience of Him who " taketh away the 
 sin of the world." No one then will be the final 
 loser through the sin of our first parents except him 
 who by free choice elects to take this responsibility. 
 Thus God is justified in His dealings with men and 
 cannot be fairly charged with disregard of the rights 
 of His creatures. We may not be responsible for 
 the sufferings of our present state, but if we suffer 
 in the future life and fail of recompense for present 
 sufferings, we will have no one to blame but ourselves. 
 (2) We now come to the second part of the 
 subject: viz, the imputation of righteousness. The 
 apostle declares that " as by the disobedience of one, 
 many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one 
 shall many be made righteous." It is proper and in 
 accordance with correct exegesis to assume that the 
 word " many " in each clause of this quotation refers 
 to the same persons ; that is, that the " many " made 
 righteous are the same " many " who were made sin- 
 ners. Now as the many made sinners includes all 
 mankind, the many made righteous must include all 
 mankind. But all mankind are not actually made 
 righteous, nor were they actually made sinners as we 
 have already shown. In the same sense then as sin 
 was imputed to them, so righteousness is imputed to 
 them also. That is, as they were regarded as sinners 
 when they were not really and actually such, on ac- 
 count of Adam's disobedience, so on the account of
 
 274 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 the obedience of Christ, they are accounted righteous 
 when they are not really such. This fact is what John 
 the Baptist referred to when he pointed Jesus out to 
 the multitude, exclaiming, " Behold the Lamb of 
 God which taketh away the sin of the world." Adam's 
 sin was the sin of the whole world, and Christ's 
 obedience is the righteousness or justification of the 
 whole world from Adam's sin. It is true that the 
 results of the first sin are not eliminated in this 
 life, neither mortality nor depravity, but if we accept 
 of Christ's salvation, they will be destroyed, depravity 
 here and now, mortality in the resurrection. This im- 
 putation of Christ's righteousness preserves every 
 human being in a state of justification or legal in- 
 nocence until personal responsibility begins. (I pause 
 in my argument to state here that while imputation 
 of sin is mentioned in scripture, imputation of right- 
 eousness is not spoken of in these exact words. But 
 the fact is stated in other language. The language 
 which I have here quoted, " by the obedience of one 
 shall many be made righteous," is a statement of 
 this doctrine. I speak of this since some have ob- 
 jected to this teaching because these exact terms 
 are not found in the scriptures.) The period in the 
 experience of any individual when personal responsi- 
 bility begins cannot be definitely stated. Responsibility 
 comes with our knowledge of our duty toward God, 
 and is in proportion also to our ability to perform 
 that duty. Two things are essential to responsibility, 
 therefore, light and power; light to see duty and 
 power to perform it. Not light alone is the measure 
 of responsibility, but light and power. It makes no 
 difference how clearly I may see duty, if I am not
 
 LATER LIFE. OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 275 
 
 able to perform it, I cannot in justice be held re- 
 sponsible for its performance. This fact greatly 
 limits the obligation of those who are without the 
 grace of God. God has been pleased to furnish light 
 and strength in about equal proportions; for of what 
 avail is it to give much light to see duty without 
 much power of performance? It could but add to 
 the misery of the recipient. We sometimes are made 
 to wonder at the favor and toleration God showed 
 to men of such morals as were many of the Old 
 Testament worthies. I know that there are some 
 who exclaim against such a characterization of the 
 Old Testament believers, but it is God Himself, by 
 the pen of inspiration, who has drawn their moral 
 portraits, and I do not see how God will be glorified 
 or men benefited by our trying to palliate grievous 
 sins or to whitewash their characters. Let their por- 
 traits stand as God has painted them. The endeavor 
 to rehabilitate them and to make their conduct appear 
 less reprehensible has done much to furnish professed 
 Christians with excuses for their sins, and to lower 
 the standard of Christian morals. This effort to 
 furbish up the characters of believers before Christ's 
 advent by theologians and critics arises out of the 
 mistaken notion that they were held to the same 
 standard of morals that Christians are held to. And 
 the inference is drawn that if God could excuse such 
 lapses from virtue as they were guilty of, He will 
 excuse the same in us. If the premise were true, the 
 conclusion would be legitimate and logical. But the 
 premise is not true, which invalidates the conclusion. 
 The same blameless life was not expected of those 
 who lived before the gospel age that is demanded now.
 
 276 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 It is true that God's holy law demanded the same 
 perfect life then as now, but so far as expecting 
 perfect obedience to that law, which neither they nor 
 we can render, but little in respect of morals was 
 required of them, because of their moral inability. 
 And so far as we can see the same standard applied 
 to those who were of faith and those who were not. 
 There are many proofs for this difference of standards 
 for them and us. Jesus, speaking of the law of 
 divorce in the Mosaic law, declared that men were 
 allowed to put away their wives " because of the 
 hardness of their hearts." This law applied to all the 
 Jews equally. " The whole house of Israel " were 
 " uncircumcised in heart." They all had such hearts. 
 Again " It was said to them of old time, ' Thou shalt 
 love thy neighbor and hate thine enemy.' " But 
 Christians are required to love their enemies, and 
 this love is made a test of their sonship. Again, " An 
 eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth " was permitted 
 them of old time, but revenge is expressly forbidden 
 to Christians. The apostle Paul, speaking of the time 
 before Christ's advent, says, " The times of this 
 ignorance, God winked at, but now commandeth all 
 men everywhere to repent." God winked at, or made 
 allowance for their ignorance and consequent violation 
 of His law, since He had withheld the light and knowl- 
 edge of duty, as well as the power to perform it; 
 but under the gospel He furnishes both light and 
 strength so that allowance need no longer be made. 
 Now all men who hear the gospel are commanded 
 to repent and obey God's requirements, and if they 
 neglect or refuse to do so, they can expect no grace 
 or mercy; no palliation of the offence. Jesus makes
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 277 
 
 declaration to the Pharisees, the most pious and 
 zealous sect of the Jews, that sets forth this fact of 
 the allowance made for the shortcomings of men be- 
 fore the gospel age in a strong light : " If I had not 
 come and spoken to you as no other man has spoken, 
 ye would be without sin ; but now ye have no cloak 
 for your sin." If we are to understand Christ lit- 
 erally, these Pharisees were in a state of justification 
 before they heard Him speak, but afterwards, having 
 rejected the light sent to them, they were without 
 excuse. They had not changed, nor had their manner 
 of life changed, but their relation to God's law had 
 changed entirely. The law's demands were no greater 
 than before, but they had become accountable for their 
 conduct in a sense that was not true of them pre- 
 viously. While they were ignorant and helpless, right- 
 eousness, which they were destitute of, was imputed 
 to them ; so that they were regarded as being as in- 
 nocent of offence as if they had kept the whole law 
 of God in every jot and tittle. But the moment 
 light and help came, they became personally respon- 
 sible for their conduct, and Christ's righteousness 
 could no longer be a cloak for their sins, since it 
 does not cover sin knowingly and freely committed ; 
 and they were left exposed to condemnation and 
 wrath. The responsibility of men without gospel 
 light is small and usually is greatly exaggerated in 
 the common conception of it. Only as men freely and 
 knowingly choose to disobey are they accountable, 
 and then much allowance may be made, because of 
 the hardness of their hearts. But when heaven-bought 
 and heaven-sent light comes, a great revolution is 
 brought about. Jesus says, " This is the condemnation,
 
 278 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. . 
 
 that light is come into the world and men love dark- 
 ness rather than light." Men are not condemned 
 because their natures are evil, nor because their lives 
 are consequently evil, since a bad tree cannot bear 
 good fruit. Condemnation begins when light comes 
 from God, accompanied with offer of help, which 
 light and help are refused. Up to this time they are 
 counted guiltless because of imputation of righteous- 
 ness. God does not expect, nor require of us, great 
 remorse for those past transgressions of ours, which 
 were unavoidable to a large extent at least. How 
 can we greatly reproach ourselves for what we could 
 not help ; but past rejection of light and divine assist- 
 ance is a proper cause for remorse. It is not, so much, 
 hatred of our past sins that is necessary, but hatred 
 of sin in the abstract. Godly sorrow for sin produces 
 in us a proper attitude toward sin ; it makes us feel 
 toward sin as God feels toward it. God hates sin ; 
 so must we. Not our sins or your sins, but all sin. 
 Real sin is not in our lives but in our hearts, as 
 Jesus declares. All sin proceeds from within out of 
 the heart. As I have remarked more than once, there 
 is no sin in God's universe except in the hearts of 
 wicked men and devils. They have a monopoly of it. 
 The apostle Paul represents the repentant sinner, not 
 as bewailing his own past transgressions, but his 
 slavery to sin, inward sin, the sin of his nature. This 
 tyrant and his service, we must hate, though natu- 
 rally we love it. Many men imagine they are seeking 
 after light and truth. This is a mistake. Men natu- 
 rally hate the light, as Jesus declares. Light and truth, 
 when they come to us, produce a shock. It is not 
 what we had expected ; and only as we receive then?
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 279 
 
 do we long for more. Is it possible for mankind 
 to desire light and truth who rejected Him, who is 
 Himself the Truth and the Light of the world? Men 
 are not reprobated by the Lord for what they were 
 nor for what they did in a state of darkness and 
 unbelief. His merits cover these offences. They 
 forfeit His favor when they turn their backs upon 
 the light. 
 
 The spiritual status of believers before the gospel 
 age is a subject of great interest and was to me 
 from my youth a matter of curiosity and enquiry; 
 but I could find no clear and definite teaching upon 
 the subject, and I think it a point of doctrine not 
 clearly understood. Many false opinions are held 
 upon this subject. It is not relevant to the subject 
 under consideration to speak at length upon this point, 
 however. It is clear from the teachings of scripture 
 that Old Testament believers were in a state of justi- 
 fication. It is equally clear from the same testimony 
 that they were unholy in heart and life. Purity of 
 heart is an experience peculiar to the gospel age. 
 Evangelical repentance and the new birth were un- 
 known to former ages as experiences. They are af- 
 fected through the gift of, and by the agency of the 
 Holy Spirit, who was not given until Jesus was glori- 
 fied. The prophets foretold these glorious experi- 
 ences and earnestly desired to know about them, but 
 were informed that these blessings were not for them 
 at that time, but for us who live in the gospel age. 
 You ask, " What things are they that were not for 
 them ? " I answer in the language of Peter, " The 
 things which are now reported unto you by them that 
 have preached the gospel unto you with the Holy
 
 280 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 Ghost sent down from heaven." Is it not astonishing 
 that Christian ministers should teach, in the face of 
 this express declaration, that Old Covenant believers 
 enjoyed the same experiences that God's people enjoy 
 under the gospel ? Where is the excess of glory of the 
 new over the old if such teachings are true? It fades 
 into a faint twilight. But some one may enquire, 
 " Did not men have the Holy Spirit before Christ's 
 advent? " Certainly; the Holy Spirit has always been 
 in the world. " Holy men of old spake as they were 
 moved by the Holy Ghost." It is one thing to have 
 the Holy Spirit to influence the mind and direct and 
 control the thoughts, and quite another thing to have 
 Him refine and purify our natures and make us new 
 creatures. The Holy Spirit was never given until 
 pentecost ; and then for the first time did men ex- 
 perience His cleansing, purifying power. When Jesus 
 spoke of the living waters which should flow from 
 them that drank of Him, John declares He spoke of 
 the Spirit which believers should receive, " For the 
 Holy Ghost was not given forasmuch as Jesus was 
 not yet glorified." If any believers ever had the Holy 
 Spirit in this gospel sense, why did not the disciples 
 have it? If anyone had ever been converted in the 
 evangelical sense, why were not the disciples con- 
 verted? Jesus tells them they must be converted and 
 become as little children to enter the kingdom. He 
 said, likewise, to Peter, " And when thou art con- 
 verted, strengthen thy brethren." Jesus declared, 
 concerning John the Baptist, " Of men that are born 
 of women there hath not arisen a greater than John; 
 nevertheless, he that is least in the kingdom of heaven, 
 is greater than he." John gives the reason why. Said
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 281 
 
 he, " I have need to be baptized of Thee." He lacked 
 that gift of baptism, of the Holy Spirit, which is the 
 experience of everyone in the kingdom of heaven, the 
 church of Christ. St. Paul declares of the Old 
 Covenant believers. " These all having obtained a 
 good report through faith received not the promise; 
 God having provided some better thing for us, that 
 they without us should not be made perfect." These 
 scriptures which I have quoted are conclusive upon 
 this point. Pre-advent believers did not enjoy the 
 experiences now enjoyed by God's people. Being 
 married to the law, they brought forth fruit unto 
 death, as St. Paul shows, and not until the law becomes 
 dead unto them by the body of Christ that they may 
 be married to another husband, will they be able to 
 bring forth fruit unto God. The Old Testament be- 
 lievers then being destitute of inward holiness, and 
 without such lives as would meet the requirements of 
 God's holy law, could be justified only by imputation 
 of inward and outward righteousness. The faith 
 which they had was imputed to them as righteous- 
 ness; or in other words, was accepted in the place of 
 righteousness, and they stood in the same relation to 
 God's law as if they had been inwardly and outwardly 
 holy. This is what we mean by imputed righteousness. 
 This could be done only through Christ's vicarious 
 atonement. Their lack was covered by His abounding 
 grace. Thus, though unholy, they were accounted 
 holy, and though destitute of outward righteousness 
 they were accounted righteous. 
 
 The same thing occurs in the case of the penitent 
 sinner. He comes to God destitute of all righteous- 
 ness. His past life has been an uninterrupted course
 
 282 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 of transgression, either voluntary or involuntary. In 
 either case, God's holy law condemns him. He seeks 
 forgiveness for the past. He cannot undo what he 
 has done. A perfect and faultless life in the future 
 could make no amends for the offences of the past, 
 even if he could live such a life, which he cannot. 
 The demands of violated law must be satisfied. It 
 may be asked, " Cannot God just forgive and forget 
 the past, since the sinner is now penitent? " I answer, 
 no, He cannot. Strictly speaking there is no such 
 thing as forgiveness of sin. So far as the sinner is 
 concerned, there is forgiveness, but not in an absolute 
 sense. The sinner is forgiven but not the sin. Strictly 
 speaking, can that sin be said to be forgiven, for 
 which the penalty has been exacted? And the penalty 
 is always, invariably exacted. If the sinner does not 
 pay it, some other person must pay it for him. It 
 must be exacted, else in the first place, God's word 
 would be found untrue. He threatens a penalty for 
 sin. If the penalty is not inflicted His veracity is im- 
 pugned. Not to inflict the penalty in the second 
 place would encourage the transgressor. In the third 
 place, not to punish sin would weaken the authority 
 of God's law. In the fourth place, it would be an 
 injustice, since it would treat alike the obedient and 
 the disobedient, and so tend to obliterate the dis- 
 tinction between right and wrong. The past sins of 
 the penitent sinner cannot be wiped out by divine 
 fiat, they must be atoned for. The sinner himself 
 is powerless in the matter. In order, then, that God 
 may pardon the sinner, the violated law must be 
 satisfied. Here Christ appears as our substitute. He 
 suffers in our stead the punishment due us, and obeys
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 283 
 
 in our place, the law by us transgressed. So what 
 He has done and suffered is imputed to us as though 
 we, instead of our Substitute, had paid the penalty. 
 This is another example of imputation of righteous- 
 ness, so that the Lord is truly our righteousness or 
 justification. Thus, by His suffering and obedience, 
 our past sins are covered and the blessing St. Paul 
 speaks of comes upon us ; " Blessed is the man whose 
 iniquities are forgiven and whose sins are covered; 
 blessed is the man to whom the Lord will not impute 
 sin." (Rom. 4:7-8.) Sin must be covered before it 
 can be passed by and forgotten forever. And it is 
 forgotten, and remembered against the sinner no more, 
 only so long as it is covered. While the whilom sinner 
 trusts in Christ for salvation his sins are covered by 
 Christ's imputed righteousness ; but this is true only 
 so long as faith continues. The sinner is not pardoned 
 absolutely, but conditionally. His past transgressions 
 have not ceased to exist as facts, for if they were 
 not in existence, how could they be covered? They 
 still exist, but are not imputed to the sinner because 
 Christ's righteousness is imputed to the sinner and 
 covers his past sins, which are imputed to Christ, 
 his Substitute. But this state of affairs continues 
 only so long as Christ's righteousness is made avail- 
 able to the sinner by faith in Christ. . But if faith 
 is no longer exercised, Christ's righteousness no longer 
 avails him and his sins are no longer covered by im- 
 puted righteousness. They then remain against him 
 in full force. The sum of the matter is this : Our 
 past transgressions, while in a state of unbelief, which 
 were involuntary and unavoidable, were never im- 
 puted to us (" sin is not imputed where ther^ is no
 
 284 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 law"), but were unconditionally imputed to Christ. 
 Only those sins were imputed to us which were wil- 
 fully committed against light and knowledge. Of such 
 sins we must repent, though repentance is for sin 
 rather than for sins, and such sins are pardoned 
 through faith in Christ, but upon condition, not ab- 
 solutely. While we believe in Christ, our past sins 
 are expiated by His death, but if faith fails, they are 
 no longer covered by His obedience, and responsibility 
 for them falls back on us. Those sins which were 
 pardoned and covered unconditionally, always remain 
 covered. They are taken away forever. Those sins 
 which are pardoned and covered conditionally through 
 faith in Christ, remain covered only so long as the 
 condition is complied with. When Christ ceases to 
 bear them because of our unbelief, they are imputed 
 to us. This answers the question I have heard asked : 
 " If sin is once pardoned, will it ever, under any cir- 
 cumstances, be imputed to us again ? " It may be. 
 Since it is covered conditionally, it will remain cov- 
 ered only so long as the conditions are complied with. 
 In this sense, then, is Christ's righteousness imputed 
 to the justification of the penitent sinner. 
 
 Under the dispensations preceding the Christian, 
 righteousness was imputed to the sinner as I have 
 shown both for inward and outward righteousness, 
 since he possessed neither. That is, both justification 
 and sanctification in his case was the result of im- 
 puted righteousness. But this is not the case under 
 the gospel. Now provision is made for the actual 
 sanctification of those who believe in Christ. The 
 Holy Spirit is now given as our Sanctifier, and Chris- 
 tians are made new creatures in Christ Jesus ; their
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 285 
 
 hearts are purified by faith; the blood of Christ 
 cleanseth them from all sin; the righteousness of the 
 law is fulfilled in them ; they are made partakers of 
 the divine nature; the old man is crucified in them 
 and the body of sin is destroyed ; being made free 
 from sin, they become the servants of God; sin has 
 no more dominion over them because they are no 
 longer under the law, but under grace; they have 
 the mind of Christ. Since, then, they are actually 
 made holy and right in their natures, they no longer 
 need inward righteousness or holiness imputed to 
 them. The real Christian has one perfection: viz., 
 perfection of moral nature. This makes his affec- 
 tions right, his intentions pure, his motives in ac- 
 cordance with the demands of God's laws. He loves 
 God with all his heart, and his neighbor as himself, 
 and so will not intentionally disobey the one or in- 
 jure the other. Being a good tree, he brings forth 
 good fruit, fruit unto holiness. Can he not then 
 stand alone ? Will he have any future need of grace ? 
 Will he, for the future need any allowance to be made 
 for him? If he be blameless and harmless, the Son 
 of God without rebuke, as he is exhorted to be, what 
 more can be asked or expected of him ? Some persons 
 imagine that nothing more can be demanded and that 
 therefore the life of a true Christian will be faultless 
 and infallible. But this is a mistaken notion and 
 contrary to all experience as well as to the teachings 
 of holy scripture. If this were really the case, why 
 should Christians be exhorted to confess their faults, 
 one to another? The presumption seems to be that 
 they will all have faults. God's holy law, made for 
 and adapted to holy beings, requires both a perfect
 
 286 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 heart and a perfect life. The one, salvation provides, 
 but the other cannot be produced in this life, since 
 it requires, in order to effect it, both moral and phys- 
 ical perfection. The latter will not be enjoyed by us 
 until after the redemption of our bodies. While our. 
 bodies are imperfect, our mental processes will be 
 imperfect. Our knowledge is imperfect, our judg- 
 ments are imperfect and every so-called mental faculty 
 is imperfect, and every mental process is unreliable. 
 This makes perfect conduct impossible; and if we 
 were left, after our conversion, amenable to this law 
 which exacts perfect conduct, none of us could measure 
 up to that standard. " Lord if Thou wert strict to 
 mark iniquity, who could stand ? " But in order that 
 the child of God might be justified, He is. made free 
 from the demands of this law, and through the grace 
 of God is placed under another law called " the law 
 of Christ." This other law is the law of love, in which 
 hot the act, but the motive of that act is alone con- 
 sidered. So to the child of God " love is the fulfilling 
 of the law," though he may not be able, through 
 ignorance or other infirmities, always to do what God 
 would have him do, nor to benefit his neighbor, though 
 that is his intention. 
 
 The supposition that the Christian needs the grace 
 of God only because of his disobedience, that is, of 
 sin against light and knowledge, or principally for 
 that reason, is not warranted by the teachings of 
 scripture. It is generally assumed that Christians 
 will sin and that therefore they will need the grace 
 of God. If by sin is meant any violation of the 
 holy and perfect law, it must be admitted that they 
 will sin. But those who thus teach are not careful
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 287 
 
 to discriminate between voluntary and involuntary 
 transgressions of that law, and thus they encourage 
 men to sin knowingly and to expect mercy for such 
 sin. Involuntary transgression of God's law is im- 
 puted to no one until he has voluntarily assumed the 
 responsibility of it by rejecting God's help. But 
 involuntary sin calls for no repentance. I cannot 
 blame myself for what I could not avoid; and only 
 so far as I see and feel myself at fault, can I be 
 sorry for that transgression. Christians may be 
 sorry in a measure for unintentional transgressions 
 because they see they did not exercise due care and 
 watchfulness, but what is unavoidable, can produce 
 no remorse. To declare that no man can live clear 
 of sin is a very ambiguous statement, and is purposely 
 left ambiguous by those who plead for sin; and the 
 fact that men profess repentance and sorrow for sin 
 is prima facie evidence that their sins were voluntary 
 and not unavoidable. For a man to declare that he 
 sins because he cannot help it, and at the same time 
 profess sorrow for such sins and reproach himself 
 for them, is a plain contradiction, and proof of hy- 
 pocrisy. We are not asked to repent of sins we cannot 
 avoid; Christ's righteousness unconditionally covers 
 such sins. It is the sins that have the concurrence of 
 our wills that condemn us and that call for repentance, 
 and Christians do not commit such sins. For a child 
 of God to thus freely choose to sin against God would 
 be to seal his eternal doom. " If we sin wilfully 
 after that we have received the knowledge of the 
 truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sin, but 
 a certain fearful looking for of judgment." This is 
 the sin unto death, which we are not required to pray
 
 288 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 for. There is a sin not unto death that does not 
 bring condemnation, and consequent separation from 
 God, yet when it is recognized by us, it should be 
 repudiated and so far as we feel ourselves respon- 
 sible because of want of care or watchfulness, we 
 should seek forgiveness; but most of such lapses or 
 shortcomings are never realized by us, and cannot 
 therefore be confessed. To those who do not see 
 the matter in its true character, there seems to be 
 a discrepancy between the various declarations of 
 scripture. " There is, therefore, no condemnation to 
 them that are in Christ Jesus." (Rom. 8:1.) "Who 
 shall lay anything to the charge of God's elect?" 
 (Rom. 8:33.) "He that abideth in Him sinneth 
 not." (1 John 3:6.) And then on the other hand 
 we find these scriptures : " I have written unto you 
 little children, that ye sin not ; but if any man sin, 
 we have an Advocate with the Father." (1 John 2 :1.) 
 " Confess your faults, one to another, and pray for 
 one another that ye may be healed." " And if he 
 have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him." 
 " If a man sees his brother sin a sin that is not unto 
 death he shall ask and he shall give him life for a 
 sin that is not unto death." To those who are not 
 enlightened, these and many other scriptures seem a 
 jumble of inconsistencies and contradictions. It does 
 not seem possible to harmonize such statements. But 
 there is no real discrepancy in these teachings. It is 
 not necessary to imitate the example of Martin Luther, 
 who rejected the epistle of James, because he imagined 
 that he contradicted Paul in his teachings on the subject 
 of faith. The fault was not in James' epistle, but 
 in Luther's understanding. Thus many people think
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 289 
 
 that as they cannot harmonize these teachings, they 
 must choose between them, and almost invariably 
 they reject those passages teaching the believers 
 freedom from sin, because they are not in harmony 
 with their experience. In attempting to harmonize 
 these apparent contradictions in the scriptures, it is 
 necessary first to understand that the term " sin " 
 does not have an invariable meaning when used by 
 the New Testament writers. St. Paul tells us " sin is 
 the transgression of the law." Strictly speaking, all 
 the infractions of the holy, perfect law of God are 
 sins ; and in this sense of the term, all are sinners, 
 since no man in this life can keep that law perfectly. 
 But Christians are not under that law, but through 
 grace are under the law of Christ, which is the law 
 of love. This law does not take cognizance of the 
 act, but of the motive and the intention of the act. 
 Saints can have pure intentions, though they cannot 
 live perfect lives. When the New Testament writers 
 use the word sin they use it in one or the other of 
 these senses, but they do not differentiate these mean- 
 ings but leave that task to the reader. When they 
 declare saints to be free from sin, sin both inward 
 and outward, that they do not commit sin, they refer 
 to infractions of the law of love to which they are 
 subject. Judged by this standard, they are clear of 
 offence. When they speak of them as sinning, they 
 refer to unintentional infraction of the law of God. 
 Judged by one standard, they are "blameless and 
 harmless, the sons of God without rebuke." Judged 
 by the other standard, they are found wanting. It 
 is true that all deviations from this holy law are punish- 
 able and must be atoned for. I have shown how these
 
 290 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 are not imputed when light and power to obey are 
 wanting, and how when light and help are rejected, 
 the sinner becomes responsible for every infraction 
 of the law of perfect obedience. But the Christian 
 believer is not under this law, but under the law of 
 love, and is held responsible for the violation of that 
 law alone. But in order that he may be held guiltless, 
 Christ's obedience of the perfect law is imputed to 
 him, since his disobedience was imputed to Christ. 
 So that this law, so far as the believer is concerned, 
 passed away, having all been fulfilled. As Jesus 
 foretold, " until heaven and earth shall pass away, 
 one jot nor one tittle shall in no wise pass from the 
 law until all be fulfilled." Here, then, the true Chris- 
 tian, perfect in heart, but imperfect otherwise, and 
 still compassed with infirmities, needs the imputation 
 of Christ's righteousness. Christ's obedience atones 
 for our want of it, and thus we are saved by His 
 life as well as by His death, as the apostle Paul de- 
 clares : " For if when we were enemies, we were 
 reconciled to God by the death of His Son, much 
 more being reconciled, we shall be saved by His life." 
 True believers, then, need the grace of God, not be- 
 cause of voluntary transgression or willful sin, but 
 because of those technical violations of the perfect law 
 of God which are incident to their imperfect state in 
 this life. So we need an High Priest who can be 
 touched with feeling for our infirmities, and who can 
 have compassion on the ignorant, even those who 
 are out of the way. I assert that real Christians 
 do not intentionally and willfully sin against God ; 
 they cannot do it. " He cannot sin, because he is 
 born of God." " A good tree cannot bring forth evil
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 291 
 
 fruit." Jesus declares, " If any man love me, he will 
 keep My word." He does not say he ought to keep 
 it,' but he ivill keep it. It is in his will to keep it, 
 and cannot be in his will to do otherwise. The idea 
 that a man can love God and at the same time defy 
 Him by refusing to obey Him, is absurd. Jesus says 
 again. " If ye love me, keep my commandments." And 
 the apostle John declares, " This is the love of God, 
 that we keep His commandments, and His command- 
 ments are not grievous." Nothing is the love of God 
 that comes short of obedience. But do not understand 
 from this that the true believer cannot fall away. 
 Though he cannot voluntarily disobey God while he 
 loves Him, he may cease to love Him, and then, 
 like a shorn Samson, he becomes weak like other 
 men. The Christian stands by faith and faith may 
 fail. Jesus prayed for Peter that his faith might not 
 fail. Why should He do this if faith could not fail? 
 The possibility of falling is clearly taught in the 
 scriptures. It is only those who are down that need 
 fear no fall; those who most assuredly stand should 
 take heed, and watch against falling. Believers do 
 not fall by outward transgression, but by unbelief, 
 as they stand by faith. Faith brings unity with God; 
 the lack of faith separates us from God. Since the 
 work of God in the heart of the believer has made 
 it possible and natural for him to obey God because 
 he loves Him, there can be no allowance made for 
 voluntary transgression; the righteousness of Christ's 
 obedience does not cover such sin, else Christ would 
 have become the minister of sin and encourager of 
 it also. The apostle Paul denies that Christ is the 
 minister of sin. It is sometimes charged by the
 
 292 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 enemies of the gospel that the doctrine of pardon 
 of sin encourages transgression. If after men have 
 been redeemed from slavery to sin and have been 
 made capable of obedience, their voluntary trans- 
 gression were excused, this objection would lie against 
 the doctrine of pardon. But though this is the ordinary 
 teaching of professed gospel ministers and theologians, 
 it is a libel on Christ and His gospel. Christ did 
 not die to excuse sin nor to encourage men to con- 
 tinue in sin that grace might abound, but to make 
 an end of sin, and to bring in its place everlasting 
 righteousness. Unmeasurable harm has been done by 
 such unscriptural and unreasonable teaching. How 
 astonishingly little have men understood of the gospel 
 which they have professed to teach. The blind, full 
 of confidence in their ability to lead have led the 
 blind, full of confidence in their blind leaders, and 
 both have gone together into the ditch of destruction. 
 The awful consequences of such false teaching are 
 beyond the power of language to express. Calvinists 
 have justly objected to the teachings of Arminians 
 on the subject of back-sliding or falling from grace. 
 The common Arminian teaching on this subject has 
 been as great an encourager of sin as Antinomianism 
 has been. They both encourage men to look upon sin 
 as a trivial or light affair. The gravity and seriousness 
 of sin against God is not realized. It is supposed 
 that men can fall away after conversion, live in open 
 and flagrant iniquity for a while, then repent and be 
 restored to the favor of God to repeat the former 
 experience again and again. No such teaching is 
 found in the gospel. The New Covenant holds out 
 no hope to the apostate. It is true that God was once
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 293 
 
 married to a backsliding church, fitly represented by an 
 unfaithful spouse; but this is not the case now. 
 Christ's New Covenant bride is a chaste virgin, not 
 a reformed harlot; and there is no unfaithfulness in 
 her. Those who draw back, draw back to perdition. 
 Those who fall away find no place of repentance, as 
 the apostle plainly declares. The one sacrifice avails 
 for but one cleansing. If once renounced, by willful 
 sin, a sin that separates from God and brings con- 
 demnation, " there remaineth no more sacrifice for 
 sin." St. Paul declares of such that it is impossible 
 to renew them unto repentance. We are told in the 
 epistle to the Hebrews that the reason the sacrifices 
 of the Jews in the Old Covenant were repeated was 
 because they, for whom these sacrifices were offered, 
 continued to sin. One sacrifice could remove sin but 
 once. Repeated sin required repeated sacrifices. If 
 these sacrifices could really have taken away sin and 
 given the worshipper a clear or perfect conscience, then 
 they would have ceased to be offered because " the 
 worshipper, once purged, would have had no more 
 conscience of sin." This is the case with the sacrifice 
 of Christ; it purges the conscience from sin or dead 
 works and leaves the conscience clear. If by willful 
 sin this sacrifice is repudiated, no other one remains. 
 " By one offering He hath perfected forever them that 
 are sanctified." To fall from this high estate, is to 
 fall like Lucifer, never to rise again. But someone 
 may object, " This is contrary to experience. I have 
 seen such persons converted over and over." Yes, 
 no doubt. Such conversions need to be repeated often 
 because they are of no value ; they are delusions. 
 Human experience is an uncertain thing to pit against
 
 294 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 
 
 the word of God. Let God be true, though it make 
 every man a liar. What He says. I accept as true, 
 and it accords with my reason and sound philosophy. 
 There is no provision made for willful sin in those 
 who have tasted of the good word of God and the 
 power of the world to come. Christ's righteousness 
 does not cover such offences. But those transgressions 
 which are the result of human weakness and frailty, 
 which are without the concurrence of the will, and are 
 not deliberate and intentional have provision made for 
 them in the atonement. They are not imputed to the 
 transgressor, but are covered by the imputed righteous- 
 ness of Christ. Those lapses which also are the result 
 of ignorance or deception are covered. In the case of 
 deception the offender is not wholly without responsi- 
 bility, though the offence is not deliberate or intended. 
 It results from the lack of sufficient watchfulness, 
 which gives Satan an unnecessary advantage. When 
 realized, such sin must be repudiated and repented of. 
 Not to do this would be to make the sin willful and 
 damning. Then there are the offences that are the 
 result of sudden surprise or inattention, which are im- 
 mediately regretted when recognized. These also are 
 among the sins that are " not unto death," which are 
 covered by the imputation of Christ's righteousness. 
 When it is said of the believer that he does not sin, 
 and that he cannot sin because he is born of God, 
 intentional, deliberate, willful sin is meant, which 
 brings condemnation and separates the soul from God. 
 This alone is sin to him who is not under the law, 
 but under grace. Herein lies the real distinction be- 
 tween mortal and venial sins of which the Romanists 
 speak. No offence is venial which is intentional and
 
 LATER LIFE, OBITUARY AND SERMONS. 295 
 
 deliberate, and no sin mortal, which is not such. To 
 place one act in the venial list and one in the mortal 
 list without respect to intention, is unmitigated non- 
 sense. Because of these unintentional and unavoidable 
 infractions of the perfect law of God we are daily 
 made great debtors to grace. Like prevailing Israel, 
 we go halting all our days, but the grace of God 
 abounds above all these shortcomings. So the be- 
 liever can sing with Charles Wesley : 
 
 " Contented now upon my thigh 
 
 I halt till life's short journey end; 
 All helplessness all weakness, I 
 On Thee alone for strength depend." 
 
 Though we have this treasure still in earthen vessels, 
 we have no occasion for discouragement, and no ex- 
 cuse for failure, since the grace of God is sufficient 
 to give us the victory over sin. So we continue to sing : 
 
 " Lame as I am, I take the prey, 
 
 Hell, earth and sin, with ease o'ercome; 
 I shout for joy, pursue my way, 
 And like a bounding hart, fly home."
 


 
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 UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS-URBANA 
 
 MEMOIRS OF SAMUEL RUFUS HARSHMAN SULLIV