II E> RAHY OF THE UN I VER.5ITY Of ILLINOIS DHE6t V.I TRIED IN THE FIEE. gt %nh. BY MRS. MACKENZIE DANIELS, AUTHOR OF "MY 8ISTEE MINNIE," "THE OLD MAID OF THE FAMILY," " OUR GUARDIAN, " "RUTH EAENLEY," ETC., ETC. IN THEEE VOLUMES. VOL. I. LONDON: THOMAS CATJTLEY NEWBY, PUBLISHER, 30, WELBECK STREET, CAVENDISH SQUARE. 1860. 8*3 TRIED IN THE FIRE. CHAPTER I. n It was in Miss Jane's private room that the tea- party I am about to describe took place. Miss Jane (she had of course a surname, but she was never called by it) was the English governess of a young French lady, from the extreme south, who, for the sake of studying singing under one of the first masters, and acquiring the Parisian accent, was boarding for awhile with the above named teacher, in a VOL. I. / fi i 2 TRIED IN THE FIRE. school of some reputation in the Faubourg St- Honore. There were at that time about forty-five French, and fifteen English pupils in the estab- lishment ; a few of the last having, like Miss Jane, private rooms, and being, what we call in England, " parlour boarders." Of course there was a great deal of clanship amongst these fair daughters of Albion, and much congregating together after school hours, in one or other of the pretty little private rooms just mentioned, where in winter they boiled water for tea (just to remind them of dear England) over their cheerful wood fires, or roasted chesnuts in the ashes, or simply formed a circle (when purses were low) round the genial blaze, toasting their cold feet, and talking that species of nonsense which only school girls can talk. Miss Jane had only been a few months in the school, but she had become an immense favourite TRIED IN THE FIRE. 3 with all the English pupils, partly because she really was a particularly nice little woman, and partly because the English governess of the es- tablishment had made herself extremely obnoxious by forming a friendship with the under French teacher, and even occasionally joining with this last-named individual in ridiculing certain En- glish customs and manners, which the fifteen representatives of Great Britain thought proper to uphold with all the warmth and energy of their respective dispositions. Now Miss Jane was English to the very back-. bone; and as her salary was liberal (she had lived for nine years in the same family), it pleased her to give frequent tea parties to her young countrywomen, though even amongst these she had her favourites, and always arrogated to her- self the privilege of inviting and excluding whom she chose. On the present occasion the party was a mixed one, as, out of compliment to her own B 2 4 TRIED IN THE FIRE. pupil (Valerie Joeelyn), she had made room for two or three little French girls, who were sub- dued into silence by the sight of the large piles of thin bread and butter (English fashion), and the abundance of cakes and other dainties, with which Miss Jane had loaded her guest table* and was distributing with generous hand amongst her guests. It was summer-time now, and it wanted but a fortnight to the grand breaking-up and public distribution of prizes ; that bright goal to which the French school-girl's eye is directed through- out all the year that precedes it. The whole school, with one or two exceptions, had been working very hard, and great excite- ment prevailed as to the probable rewards their laudable exertions would meet. The eldest of Miss Jane's guests, Gertrude Scott, had been amongst the most indefatigable of the youthful students ; and her dark eye lighted up with an- ticipated triumph as her companions prophesied, TRIED IN THE FIRE. 5 over their excellent tea and bread and butter, that she would carry off at least a dozen prizes. " But, after all," said Norah Kennedy, a wild Irish girl of eccentric and unpopular character. " what good is it to do you in your future life, Gertrude ? You have no chance of having to go out as governess, and yet for nine or ten months you have been risking a spinal com- plaint, and the loss of those bright eyes of yours, in the acquirement of knowledge, that a year or two at home will cause you entirely to forget. The very thought of those weary desks, at which so many of you sit from morning till night, makes my brain spin round. Isn't it stupid of them, Nelly ?" This was addressed to a fair and rather pen- si ve-lookins; sirl, whose chair was next to Norah's, and who replied with a smile that greatly beautified her face : — " Oh ! you know I am so constitutionally lazy, that I shall be quite sure to agree with you. Yes ; I think TRIED IN THE FIRE. all this overwork of hands and brains stupid in the extreme." " And yet," said Gertrude Scott, without, however, appearing very much interested in the matter, " I know nobody who has w 7 orked harder at oil painting, for the last six months, than Ellen Clavering ; and work is work, whether mechanical or mental." Nelly was about to reply, when Miss Jane, who loved her well enough to assume the privilege of speaking the truth, said for her, "Nelly Clavering has been working for a very important object, of which, indeed, she makes no secret ; only you, Gertrude, have been so absorbed in your own labours, that you have paid no attention to the gossip around you. Don't you remember that this demure young friend of ours obtained the first prize for oil painting at the last concours ; and that con- sequently, if she is first again, the prize of honour will be awarded to her." TRIED IN THE FIRE. 7 " And why is she so anxious for that ? I fancied Nelly boasted of having no ambition." " Oh ! how awfully slow you all are 1" said the Irish girl, with an impatient gesture. " Nelly, my dear, why don't you explain at once that you have a fancy for being crowned with white roses, in the presence of two or three hundred spectators, who will be sure to whisper as you walk down the long gallery, ' O/i, la belle Anglaise, lajolie blonde /' What is six months of hard painting, to secure such a magnificent reward as this ?" "You are detestably satirical, Norah," re- plied the pretty Nelly, with a half offended look, " and I shall not take the trouble to justify myself." " You need not," said the other, with a smile that was by no means mirthful, although it ex- pressed perfect good temper ; "for even if you lost somewhat of the public esteem and admi- ration, Nelly, you could well afford to do so. 8 TRIED IN THE FIRE. We all join in spoiling you — all, at least, who* have leisure for such idle pastime." " Pray, exclude me from the list of Miss Clavering's blind admirers and devotees," ex- claimed a handsome, aristocratic-looking young lady, seated : at Miss Jane's right hand. " I daresay it is a proof of my bad taste, but I never could discover any attraction in popular idols." Nelly coloured to the roots of her flowing ringlets ; and Miss Jane, with a slight frown on her kind face, turned to the last speaker. 1 'You are severe upon yourself, rather than upon poor Nelly, Katherine ; for I am sure you would be the last in the world to refuse to ac- knowledge merit, when you had really dis- covered it.'* Katherine Wilmot bent her proud head a little lower as she replied — " Perhaps you are right, Miss Jane ; but I must use my own eyes in discovering it, and not those of other people." TRIED IN THE FIRE. 9 " Certainly, my dear, that is but fair ; but now that you are so soon to part — it may be for ever in this world — I should so like to see you and Nelly rather better friends." " I am sure I wish no ill to Miss 01avering,' > began Catherine, speaking in a cold, proud tone, and curling her thin, but perfectly outlined lip, when Nelly (with tears suddenly dimming her bright blue eyes) sprang up and seized her op- ponent's hand. 11 For Miss Jane's sake, Katie, let us be friends, — at least, for to-night. You know / have never wished to quarrel with you. and, to this hour, I am entirely ignorant of the origin of your dislike to rne. Come, I won't ask you to kiss me ; but, at any rate, shake hands." Miss Wilmot, though rather liking scenes in general, especially if she happened to be herself the heroine of them, chose to express unbounded abhorrence of such vulgarities on the present occasion ; and, adding that she was as anxious 10 TRIED IN THE FIRE. as Miss Clavering to oblige their mutual friend and hostess, she suffered her cold hand to re- main for a moment in Nelly's warm one, and then, leaving the tea-table which was about to be cleared, walked to the window, and appeared to be amusing herself with the little French girls. " You are looking thoughtful, Nelly," said her Irish friend, at a later hour, when some of the party had gone away to the evening classes, and the rest were lounging idly about the room. " Is it Mordecai, sitting in the king's gats, that robs you of your peace of mind ? " " If you are alluding to Katie Wilmot, I cer- tainly was thinking of her just then, and won- dering what I can possibly have done to inspire her aversion." " Ah, Nelly, you are a very short-sighted mortal, but I am not going to lend you my spec- tacles for such an ignoble use as in this case you would put them to. It does not matter one bit TRIED IN THE FIRE. 11 why this proud, narrow-minded girl dislikes you ; but it does matter a great deal that you fret over it." " Why ?" " Because it proves to me the existence of a shade iu your character which I have long sus- pected — a yearning for universal love and admi- ration, and an incapacity for being satisfied with the hearts that really do belong to you, so long as you discover a single one that does not.'' " I am afraid there is some truth in what you say, Norah ; but I can't help it if it is, can I ?" u For pity's sake don't look as if you expected an answer to such an absurd question, Nelly. Is mine a brain to reason about the freedom and the capacities of the human will ? " " I can't tell. You are very clever, Norah, and you always seem to me to know every- thing." " Silly child ! But, to return to our original discussion, I really am afraid that this craving of 12 TRIED IN THE FIRE. yours for more than your due share of love and admiration, will greatly mar the happiness of your future life." " You think, then, that I shall find it difficult to obtain all that I seek ?" " No ; my thought is this, Nelly — that the very seeking, ardently and passionately as you will set about it, will disturb your peace, and create a continual state of excitement which will be terribly detrimental to your happi- ness." "Now please to tell me, Norah, why that which you always say is absolutely essential to your happiness, should be destructive of mine. Your brain can surely reason thus far." " It is because we are such entirely opposite characters. Did I not see in you the very anti- podes of myself, I should not love you as I do, Nelly." " Lo've, love, — who is talking of love?" said Miss Jane, coming suddenly from the window, TRIED IN THE FIRE. 13 where, by the waning light, she had been teaching Kate Wilmot a different stitch in em- broidery. " I really think, Norah Kennedy, you have a great deal to answer for in encourag- ing the romantic propensities of this foolish Nelly." " My conscience acquits me of any such im- prudence, Miss Jane," replied Norah, a little stifflv, for she was vexed that her tete-a-tete with the only girl in the school to whom she had really attached herself, should be thus un- ceremoniously interrupted. " We were not * speaking of the sort of love to which you allude." " It is a wonder, then," exclaimed Miss Wil- mot, sarcastically, " for everybody knows that you and Ellen Clavering spend the greater part of your time in dreaming of some imagi- nary and radiant future, in which you are to distinguish yourselves, and enjoy an amount of happiness that no heroines ever yet attained to." 14 TRIED IN THE FIRE. Norah was on the point of replying angrily (for she had no lack of hot Irish blood in her veins), when Miss Jane came in between these opposing spirits like the gentle peace-maker that she always was. " Well really, Katie, if we talk of dreaming about the future, or castle-building, which is all the same, I think we must admit that it is a weakness to which every young girl is peculiarly liable. Were a fortune-teller suddenly to appear amongst us, I scarcely know which of you all would be the most anxious to test her skill.' ' Katherine curled her lip, and feigned to be deeply interested in her embroidery. "I should like, indeed, just to know which of the present party will be married first/' said Nelly Clavering, whose good temper was still proof against her adversary's sneering. " Oh, you, you — I would wager anything it will be you," exclaimed three or four voices at once; while Gertrude Scott looked up quietly TRIED IN THE FIRE. 15 from a French composition she was revising, and observed, quaintly, — " I don't care who it is, so long as it is not me. " Oh, you, Gertrude, are booked for a blue stocking," replied Miss Jane, patting the young student's head affectionately ; " or, if ever you marry at all, it must be a schoolmaster, who will sympathize heart and soul with you in your wonderful book lore." " And, of course, you must never have chil- dren," continued another girl, who was jealous of Gertrude's success. " The poor little creatures would be left to run naked, and to grow up into men and women as they could." " Perhaps not," remarked Gertrude, with un- ruffled countenance, " but it is not likely that I shall ever marry. We are a large family at home, and there will be no fortune for any of us." " And I am still more likely to pass through 16 TRIED IN THE FIRE. life alone," said Norah Kennedy ; and no one attempted (not even Nelly) to refute her asser- tion. Miss Jane remarked, however — " Old maidism is not such a pitiable state as you young ladies, just entering life, may imagine. I can assure you that I myself, for example, am perfectly contented with the lot that has been assigned me." " But you are not an old maid yet, dear Miss Jane," said her own pupil, who w 7 as devotedly attached to her ; " and you know very well you might have been married long ago, had you only—" " Hush, hush, Valerie," replied her now blushing and embarrassed friend, laying her soft white hand on the speaker's lips, u that ques- tion, remember, is not for discussion here." It seemed a trifling thing, and none of the English girls understood why it should be so, but from the moment Valerie Jocelyn had made this evidently forbidden allusion to some unre- TRIED IN THE FIRE. 17 vealed secret in the life of her gentle governess, Miss Jane's spirits flagged, and more than once tears were detected in her kind eyes, as she tried to rally and entertain her guests as before. They had all good feeling enough to refrain from commenting on the change, but the even- ing was spoiled ; and, after thanking their liberal hostess, and wishing her an affectionate good night, they took their leave with one accord, and retired to their respective sleeping apartments. \ol. I. c 18 TRIED IN THE FIRE. CHAPTER II. There had been an incessant hum of youthful voices in the salle de dessin throughout the whole day, for nearly all the girls who learnt drawing had something to finish for exhibition at the approaching concours ; but the evening had now arrived, and only one untiring worker remained standing before an immense easel, putting the last touches to an elaborate oil painting, which bore tokens of very careful copying, if of nothing more. The poor girl looked tired and pale, and her eyes often wandered from the historical group on her canvas, to the waving trees and the TRIED IN THE FIRE. 19 smooth lawn, and the moving figures in the pleasant garden beneath. By-and-bye, and just as she had persuaded herself that it was really getting too dark to paint any longer, the door of the salle opened abruptly, and Norah Kennedy appeared on the threshold. " Of course, " she said, advancing quickly to where the other stood, " I thought I should find you here, Nelly. You ought to be ashamed of this dogged perseverance for such an ignoble object — but I am in the mood for giving you a* thorough scolding; so put down those miserable brushes, and come out with me into the garden." Nelly yawned while her friend was speaking ; and when she had done, replied frankly, that the present interruption was very agreeable to her. "For, indeed, Norah," she continued, "I have been longing for a stroll ; and had i . c 2 20 TRIED IN THE FIRE. you amongst those gracefully gliding figures, I should have left my easel half an hour ago." " Very flattering and seductive words, Nelly ; but if you had wanted me, it would have been easy to seek me in my own room." " Oh ; but I never thought of that. You know how anxious I am to get this painting completed." " Don't I ? Why, has not this same anxiety deprived me of your sweet society for the last fortnight ? And yet in three days, Nelly, we are to part for months and years ; perhaps, very likely indeed, for ever." Norah's voice took a tone of almost pas- sionate sadness as she concluded this sentence, and twining her arm round Ellen Covering's waist, she kissed the fair bending face with im- petuous affection. " I am sorry at the thought of losing you, dear Ncrah," replied the other kindly ; but she neither returned the warm embrace, nor spoke TRIED IN THE FIRE. 21 as if, to her, this coming parting were a matter of very great importance " You are sorry, Nelly/' repeated her Irish friend, a little bitterly ; " and so you will be when you say good-bye to Madame Guillemar's pet dog, or to the porter's baby nephew. I don't know why I should be wasting such worlds of affection on a cold-hearted being like yourself." " I am not cold-hearted, Norah ; only some- what less warm and demonstrative than your- self." " I say you are cold-hearted, Nelly ; not from selfishness, I acquit you fully of this, but constitutionally and irremediably. I have tried to thaw you for the last eleven months, with love such as one girl seldom bestows upon another, but I see it is a vain task ; and at length I have made up my mind to love on in spite of you, and to let this love be its own, and only exceeding great reward." 22 TRIED m] THE FIRE. "Norah, you are" very unjust, because too exacting." " I may be too exacting, but I am not un- just. I wish you could prove that I am so in your case." " I do love you. Norah, and you know it. Do I not tell you every thought, every feeling, every weakness of which I am conscious ?" " Oh, yes ; I am formed to be an admirable confidante," having no secrets or thrilling in- terests of my own to absorb my mind ; but don't look hurt, my Nelly. I will admit that you have a sincere friendship for me, and were I a person calculated to work upon your imagi- nation, you might even, perchance, love me almost as well as I love you." " What do you mean now, Norah ?" " Only that all your strong affections must be created through the imagination rather than through the heart. When the love of which you dream so often, really comes, it will be ex- TRIED IN THE FIRE. 23 cited by an assemblage of attributes with which you will invest the individual who has happened (perhaps favoured by some peculiar external attraction) to strike upon the sensitive chords of this same ardent imagination. I know it will be so, Nelly ; and as I foresee much un- happiness to you in consequence of it, I heartily wish it were otherwise." " But when, my dear Norah, " asked Ellen Clavering (by no means displeased with the turn their dialogue had taken) — " when did you make all these marvellous discoveries re-, specting me?" " For the most part in my own room, seated on that fascinating window ledge, and leaning against the bar which you persist in declaring so dangerous/' " Upon my word, Norah, I believe you will meet with an accident one of these days, if you do not abandon that frightful habit of yours ; and then, putting the danger aside, it is really '24 TRIED IN THE FIRE. so very, very unladylike, to sit with your legs out of window." Norah laughed loudly for a minute or so ; and then said, " As for the danger, there is positively* none ; since it would take ten men at least to wrench out that iron har, which is mv securitv ; and the sense of freedom and lightness I enjoy when thus seated, is worth a much greater risk than even your timid nature can conjure up in the present case. But if you come to the ladylike nature of the action, I have only to reply, that I have not the least ambition to be a lady, and, therefore, may consider myself unfettered by the arbitrary laws of ladyism." " I wonder who is talking nonsense now ? Happily nature has decided the point for you, otherwise I do believe you would carry out your eccentricities by choosing not to be a lady. It would be quite like you.'' "If I go through life, Nelly, as a woman — a TRIED IN THE FIRE. 25 true woman — do you understand the term ? — I shall be abundantly content," "What is your idea of a true woman?" "One who can forget herself ; and whether in a palace or a cottage, lead a life of patient, uncomplaining sacrifice. This is what women were oriffinallv intended for ; and she who does it not, is no true woman." " But suppose no occasion presents itself for the practice of such lofty heroism ; what then?" " There never was a woman born into this wicked world to whom the occasion has not come ; it is her own fault if she passes it by without seeing it.*' " Well, it sounds very noble and admirable ; but I doubt whether the actual practice of it would not necessarily include something that has not, I am sure, been in our thought, Norah." " Christianity, piety, fanaticism." 26 TRIED IN THE FIRE. " The first will do. Yes, I do believe that real Christianity would be essential to a life of constant, patient, self-sacrifice, such as you have described." " Not at all. There have been true women amongst the greatest heathen idolaters in all ages ; there are true women in our own country, who never look into their Bibles. Whether they will go to heaven or not. is a question that the good people you patronise may decide, and no doubt have decided ; but as far as this world is concerned, such women do their duty, and deserve some reward." " Your doctrines and theories are always very plausible, Norah ; but — but — " " But you don't agree with them, Nelly — say it out boldly. To you they are of earth, earthy ; and you would rather I kept them to myself. You are a little afraid of them, and I accept the compliment, and thank you for it." TRIED IN THE FIRE. 27 " Perhaps I am. Shall we come down into the garden now ?" " No ; it is pleasanter and quieter here, where 1 can at least have you all to myself. How often I indulge in the selfish wish that you were not such a general favourite, Nelly." " Do you ?" " Ah, now I see your thoughts are wander- ing far away from me. Do, dear Nelly, be generous, and remember how very, very soon we are to part." " I don't forget it any more than yourself, but it is no use to be always speaking of it." " Oh, Nelly, you could not help speaking of it, if it haunted you night and day as it does me but I should never make you understand the intense and gnawing pain that comes m my heart every time I reflect that our happy inter- course is so soon to end. No more summer evening strolls under those dear old trees, no more cosy chats by our winter's fire ; no more 28 TRIED IN THE FIRE. delightful interchange of thought, and hope, and feeling ; no more dreams together of the mys- terious future — " " Pray, pray, don't go on, Norah," interrupted her friend, pleadingly, and in a tearful voice. " You have said quite enough to put to flight all my thoughts about to-morrow, and to make me as low-spirited as I see you are yourself." " Never mind, Nelly. With you it will only last a few hours. The crown of white roses, and the admiration of Madame Guillemar's guests to-morrow evening, will restore all your happiness, and leave you still a debtor to me in the way of sorrow and regret." " You are a privileged person, Norah, or I would not so tamely submit to your insinua- tions of vanity and frivolity — qualities that ought never, at least, to have a prominent place in the character of your chosen friend." " I can well believe, Nelly, that, had nature made me fair and attractive like you, I, too, TRIED IN THE FIRE. 29 should have gloried in exciting admiration, and been content to derive my happiness from the same unwholesome food." Instead of replying to this, Nelly Clavering remained apparently buried in thought for several minutes, and when, at length, she spoke, it seemed as if her meditations had been of a totally different subject from the one under dis- cussion. " Norah, do you remember that English lady who was on a visit to Madame Guillemar last Christmas, and with whom I used to go out so • often ?" fC Perfectly — and how I used to dislike her because she engrossed so much of your time without having the smallest claim to it." " You were dreadfully jealous, Norah ; and for this reason I always avoided talking to you about her. She was a widow, you know, and had been one of Madame's first pupils years ago." 30 TRIED IN THE FIRE. " Well, Nelly, and what association of ideas has brought this person on the tapis now ?" " When you accused me of deriving my hap- piness from the gratification of personal vanity and such like follies, I w 7 as led to think of the earnest way in which Mrs. Lane tried to set be- fore me the only real and enduring happiness. I often wish she had stayed longer here." " That she might have made you a complete and finished methodist, Nelly. I am sure I am very thankful that she did not." " And yet, Norah, if religion is true at all, it must be essential for us to possess it." " Of course, my dear ; but there is an im- mense difference between simply possessing a thing, and continually parading it before the eyes of our fellow-creatures in a manner to make ourselves both ridiculous and disagreeable. If ever I come to wear the cross of iron on my breast, I shall take good care to put a velvet kerchief over it." TRIED IN THE FIRE. 31 " But it seems to me, Norah — of course, I am very ignorant about all these things — that there cannot be much sincerity or earnestness in that religion which is not manifested in some way or other to those around us. Without boasting of it in the least — I am sure dear Mrs. Lane never did — we ought, I fancy, to glory in its possession, and not to hide it like something we were ashamed of." " Well, my dear Nelly, when once you can assure me that you have yourself forsworn the world and all its pomps and vanities, I may, perhaps, listen with profit to your edifying ser- mons. In the meanwhile, allow me to be happy and wise in my own way, and to recom- mend you, just entering into life — a life that will necessarily be full of temptations and perils, to choose definitely one path or the other, and not to set out halting between two opinions." " I wish I could choose the straight and nar- row path — I do, indeed, Norah, — but the other 32 TRIED IN THE FIRE. is so attractive ; and, in the first, I should have to walk alone — father, mother, brother, all being completely in the world and of the world." Norah Kennedy yawned, and gave every evi- dence of being weary of the subject. " Look at those bright stars coming out> Nelly," she said, drawing nearer to the open window. " When I think of the future that lies beyond this present world, I love to imagine it connected with a borne in some of those shining planets, where parted friends will be re- united, human intelligence perfected, and every means afforded us of gratifying to the highest possible degree the faculties which our purified natures will retain. " " You are so clever, dear Norah, that it seems absurd for me to argue on any subject with you ; but, remembering all that Mrs. Lane took such infinite trouble to teach me, I cannot help thinking that your ideas of religion are very, TRIED IN THE FIRE. 33 very different from those you will find in the Bible." '■ I never said they were not ; but, for pity's sake, don't let us get into a labyrinth, Nelly, of which we are neither of us sure of the clue. Ah, there is the refectory bell ringing ; so, by way of a pleasant change, we will go now and regale ourselves with artichokes and bread and butter." VOL. II. 34 TRIED IN THE FIRE. CHAPTER III. The next day was one of ceaseless bustle and excitement for all the teachers, pupils, and do- mestics belonging to Madame Guillemar's large establishment. There were drawings to be finished and framed, duets, and solos both vocal and instrumental, to be rehearsed for the last time ; white dresses to be trimmed with the colours of the respective classes, and all the other minute and elaborate preparations con- nected with the monster gathering, to be got through, before six o'clock in the evening. Amongst the English girls particularly, Miss TRIED IN THE FIRE. 35 Jane's talents and good nature were in constant requisition, and not a little quarrelling took place because they could not all have her at the same time. Some wanted her to help in mounting a drawing, some to hear them play a difficult pas- sage (for Miss Jane was a first-rate musician), and others to show them how the lace and ribbons were to be arranged on their dresses. Finding, however, that it would be impossible to give en- tire satisfaction to all, Miss Jane soon left the disputants to get on as they could, and devoted herself to her favourite, Ellen Clavering, who,* while really requiring assistance, had been the last to urge her claim, when she saw how the kind-hearted little woman was besieged and tor- mented. They were in Ellen's private room, and the toilette part of the business being happily dis- posed of, Miss Jane had seated herself to play the accompaniment of a song that Nelly would have to sing in public in the evening. D 2 36 TRIED IN THE FIRE. " Now then, my dear, we must not waste time. You are ready, are you not, Nelly ?" 11 Not quite, dear Miss Jane. All this run- ning up and clown stairs has made my heart beat so. I wish the evening were well over." " Yet you anticipate a great deal of pleasure, Nelly ?" " And you despise me for it in your secret soul — don't you, Miss Jane ?" " No, my love, why should I ? I think, on the contrary, it is very natural and excusable at your age." Nelly looked suddenly grave. Had Miss Jane found fault with her frivolity, she would immediately have tried to justify it herself; but the reverse being the case, she felt condemned and uncomfortable immediately ; because her conscience spoke in louder and more faithful words than any she was accustomed to listen to from human lips. " You are very kind and indulgent," she said, TRIED IN THE FIRE. 37 in a depressed tone, " but I know, nevertheless, that I am weak and foolish enough to deserve your condemnation. I admire Gertrude Scott with all my heart, for having no interest in this evening beyond the hope of receiving the prizes she has so justly earned." " Gertrude's character is altogether different from vours, Nellv. I admire her too, and she is a girl who will alwavs be admired and esteemed above many around her ; but her virtues, we must remember, are natural to her, and not the result of conquered faults and erroneous ten- dencies." " How do you think people ought to set about conquering their faults and failings, Miss Jane ?" Nelly was pretty sure she should not get a perfectly right answer, but she was curious to hear what the good, sensible Miss Jane would have to say on the subject. " My dear, you could find many a better 38 TRIED IN THE FIRE. guide and teacher than myself; but I think, if once a person is thoroughly convinced and ashamed of a particular fault or weakness, }hey can, without any extraordinary effort, cure them- selves of it." " Oh, Miss Jane, if you say that, you can never have had a fault or a weakness ; but my heart is quiet now, and I must not monopolize the whole of your precious time." When the really difficult song had been gone through, Miss Jane declared the execution of it perfect, and warmly complimented Ellen Claver- ing on the pains she must have taken. " But really I have not," said Nelly, candidly. <'I knew there was no fear of my voice failing me; and therefore I have been inexcusably lazy (at least, so my singing master tells me) with all these fine Italian pieces." "You have more pleasure in practising those wild Irish melodies that Norah Kennedy is so fond of." TRIED IN THE FIRE. 39 " A great deal, because I can feel whatever is soft and plaintive and tender, whereas these loud, impassioned scenes, to which I am ex- pected to give expression, awake no echo in my own heart, but rather weary and disgust me. " You are still a thorough English girl, Nelly, in spite of your four years in this gay city." " I hope so. I should never wish to be any- thing else." " Nor even, I suppose, to marry a French- > man ? [ " Oh ! Miss Jane, not for the world ; would A slight colour tinged the smooth, olive cheeks of the middle-aged lady thus addressed ; and Ellen suddenly remembered her companion's strange emotion on the evening of the tea-party, when Valerie Jocelyn had made some indiscreet allusion to a past event. 40 TRIED IN THE FIRE. " But how selfish and thoughtless I am to keep you chattering here," she continued, with- out giving the other time to reply, " when there are two or three dozen people calling or waiting for you in different parts of the house. Go now, dear Miss Jane, to Katherine Wilmot — I declare it is nearly four o'clock, and I will take a peep in the meanwhile at Norah Kennedy, who, I'll be bound to say, has not given herself the trouble to get a single thing ready for the evening." Nelly had not misjudged her eccentric friend, for on entering Norah's room she found that- young lady seated on the floor, surrounded by three or four half-packed boxes, humming the air of one of her wildest and saddest national melodies, and otherwise employed in reading, or at least looking over a packet of apparently very old letters. She raised her eyes, full of a mournful, ab- stracted expression, as the door opened, but TRIED IN THE FIRE. 41 only nodded, without speaking to the privileged intruder. 11 1 have come to see if I can do anything for vou, Norah. You said the other day your dress wanted a good deal of arranging:, and I don't believe you have the least idea how to do it yourself." 11 1 have never thought of it since, Nelly. You are very kind, and if you really mean to do it for me, I will hunt it out at once." " I will do it with pleasure ; but what have you been about with all these boxes ? Nobody is thinking of packing up to-day." " 1 meant to do everything now, that I might have to-morrow to devote entirely to you, but happening to light upon this bundle of letters — it was my evil genius that guided me to them — I have wasted all my time, and brought on a fit of something worse than the spleen." " Poor Norah !" " Oh, don't pity me, Nelly, or I shall get ill- 42 TRIED IN THE FIRE. tempered as well as dull. While you are sewing, I will, if you like, tell you something concerning these letters and their writer. I never meant to do so, but we are going to part, and I know that if I ask it, you will make a grave for it in your memory, not to be desecrated by even your nearest and dearest in after-years." Nelly looked deeply interested, and readily promised all that her friend required. " We were neighbours," then began Norah, tying up her packet with nervous fingers, " when he was a rough schoolboy, and I, being delicate and sickly, had a governess every day at home. Our gardens were only divided by a low wall, and often, always indeed on summer evenings, he used to come over and work at my flower- beds, with me, or learn his lessons while I worked, or made work for others, alone. I be- lieve that even as a boy he was very handsome and distinguished-looking, but I never took any heed of that. It seemed a most natural and TRIED IN THE FIRE. 43 inevitable thing that we should grow attached to each other, and learn to think, as time went on, that it would be impossible ever to live apart. Our first separation occurred when he went to college, and then the grief and desolation that I could tell to no one, wrought upon my health, and eventually laid me on a sick bed, where I had time to be ashamed of my weakness, and to struggle with more than woman's strength (though I was then only fourteen) against it. We corresponded very regularly during all that first absence, and when, at the end of about six months, he came home again, he was handsomer, more manly, and more devoted to me than ever. In looking back to it now, I can only suppose that it was my own personal plainness and in- significance that hindered his relatives from attaching any importance to our intercourse ; and yet they might have known that human affections are not dependant upon comely fea- tures, or what the world calls loveliness ; indeed, 44 TRIED IN THE FIRE. the very fact of my want of beauty, impressed since my earliest childhood upon my mind, ren- dered the unmistakeable attachment he lavished upon me a thousand-fold more precious and inestimable. " I cannot, dear Nelly, in spite of the interest I see you feel, linger over my story as if it were a romantic fiction that I had read or heard. Although I am now nearly twenty, and I was less than fourteen when I first knew him, every incident connected with our acquaintance is so painfully burnt into my memory, that it seems but a month or two ago that it all occurred ; and the wounds are no nearer healing than they were when first inflicted, notwithstanding that I have learned to hide them from the common gaze.'' " Do go on, Norah," said Ellen, as the nar- rator paused abruptly, and seemed to be thinking some uncommunicable thoughts — " I had no idea that you had such a history concealed from me." TRIED IN THE FIRE. 45 "lam going on, Nelly, but don't let me get sentimental or ridiculous in the midst of the plain narration I wish to make. You look so deeply and intensely sympathetic while listening to stories of this kind, that one is always tempted to lay the whole heart bare before you ; but that is not my present object, so turn away those speaking eyes of yours, and let me my round, unvarnished tale deliver, as quickly and briefly as I may." " I will put all my heart and eyes into this muslin dress, Norah, if you will only continue your history." " Well, then, I am coming to our second se- paration, which lasted some months longer than the first, and at the expiration of which, my friend was to visit his home, but for a very short time previous to settling himself in Dublin, as junior partner in a large banking establishment, of which a rich, childless uncle was the head and chief. 46 TRIED IN THE EIRE. " It was during the few days we were now to- gether that I first began to fancy a slight change in the friend I had hitherto thought all my own. He was not less kind and affectionate than before, but he was less anxious to have me con- stantly with him, and more preoccupied when I was by his side. Still, however, this had only the effect of rendering me occasionally irritable and gloomy with others, it never made me either unkind to or suspicious of him. He was no longer a boy — life, with all its large excitements, was opening before him, and it was natural enough that he should begin to look out from the dream-world we had hitherto inhabited to- gether, into that wide battle-field, whither I might not at present follow, and in whose interests he doubtless thought I was too young and ignorant to participate. " So I reasoned, and so I strove to content myself even when the last parting words had been uttered, and I knew that it would probably be years ere we met again. TRIED IN THE FIRE. 47 " For some months our correspondence went on as regularly and warmly as ever, fand it was my happiness to think that he still opened his heart to me, and made me the confidante of all his joys and sorrows, as fully as in the old, hlissful days of constant and unrestrained com- munion. At length, however, this source of never- wearying pleasure and consolation abruptly dried up, his letters ceased altogether, and, after enduring the utter misery of suspense and fear, till I was ill in body and half distracted in mind, I went boldly to his mother and asked her what was the matter. " This woman had never liked me, otherwise for his sake I could have clung to and almost worshipped her. Now she replied coldly, that her son had been ill for some time, and that even when quite well again he would probably have too much work to do to be able to cor- respond with ' all his old playfellows.' All his old playfellows ! Ah, Nelly, my child, you will 48 TRIED IN THE FIRE. never see me suffer as I suffered then ; but of course it did not matter to anybody, and so I kept it to myself, and hated life, and sunshine, and all bright things, and wished every hour of my existence to die and forget that I had ever had a being. And now, from this healthy and enviable state, which lasted above two years, how do you think I was roused ?" " Surely not by hearing of his death ?" " No, my child, it was on this wise. One morning, a summer morningr, I was gathering some flowers in the garden for my own mother, who was sick, when suddenly his mother put her head over the low wall that divided us, and said, in her most gracious tones — " ' Norah, your old playfellow sends his love to you, and something else that I will give you by and bye. He was married the day before yesterday to one of the richest girls in Dublin, and as lovely, they tell me, as — as that rosebud you have got in your hand.' " TRIED IN THE FIRE. 49 " I believe I replied * thank you, ma'am/ but with no more consciousness of what I was thanking her for, than if I had been an animated machine speaking the words prescribed for me by the mechanician. I remember, however, that she added with remarkable distinctness of ut- terance — " ' Yes, I knew you would be pleased to hear the news, for you always took an affectionate interest in my dear boy, and this is really such an excellent match for him.' " I went from her into the house, and at- tended upon my sick mother, and denied my- self throughout all that day the blessing of a single hour of solitude, bat the night came at last; and then, carrying with me to my own room the wedding cake he had sent for me, I shut out the world, and spoke with my po^r heart alone. Soon after this, my mother's ill- ness terminated in death, and I grew sick and vol. I. E 50 TRIED IN THE FIRE. weary, and disagreeable to everybody around me, and my father, in desperation, sent me to France. So now, Nelly dear, you have the whole history, of which these old yellow letters are all the external record that remains. Thank you, my child. You have arranged that an- tiquated-looking dress most tastefully." " Ah, Norah, but I should like to hear more of your history, and not, after having had my deepest interest excited, be put off with such an abrupt termination. May I not ask if you have ever heard of him since ?" " I have never heard of him since." " And what induces you to keep the let- ters ?" " I don't know, or rather I should say my probable motive for doing so does not enter into the confidence I have chosen to make. Let us talk of something else." Nelly acquiesced, but she noticed with pain TRIED IN THE FIRE: 51 # and uneasiness that there was not a shadow of colour on Norah's cheeks, when, an hour afterwards, she left her to dress for the even- ing. E % i UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS LIBRARY 52 TRIED IN THE FIRE. CHAPTER IV. There were, perhaps, few assemblies in Paris that evening more brilliant or more striking than the one in which Madam Guillemar's pupils were to play so conspicuous a part. No expense and no trouble had been spared to render this particular concourse attractive and successful. Several of the English girls, having finished their education, (at least in conventional par- lance,) were to return to school no more ; and it was one amongst the many objects that Madame had in view, that these young ladies should take back to their own country a fa- TRIED IN THE FIRE. 53 vourable report of the establishment in tho Faubourg St. Honore. Not less than five hundred guests had been invited, and these, accommodated with seats on either side of the long gallery, and in the rooms opening from it, were permitted to gaze for once without rebuke, and to their hearts' content, at the sixty white-robed girls who occupied covered benches, raised one above the other at the ex- tremity of the gallery down which they would have to pass, each in her turn, and alone, to receive the prizes distributed by Madame Guil- lemar and the different masters who attended the establishment. After the distribution of prizes a concert was to take place, and at the conclusion of the con- cert a little friendly dance amongst the pupils and their own intimate friends and relatives, the remaining portion of the guests having the option to remain as spectators if they were so disposed . 54 TRIED IN THE FIRE. By half-past six the rooms were nearly full, and the poor girls, who had been seated in state for nearly three quarters of an hour, beginning to grow weary and impatient. Amongst the members of the first class, distinguished by rose- coloured ribbons, and occupying the highest bench, were the four English girls who have been already introduced to the reader. Kathe- rine Wilmot, Gertrude Scott, Nelly Clavering, and Norah Kennedy. The two last, seated side by side, were conversing in whispers, while Gertrude Scott, with flushed cheeks and anxious eyes, was silently awaiting the ordeal before her, and Katherine Wilmot was scanning the yet restless group beneath, with a disdainful curl of her aristocratic lip, which would plainly have intimated to any who had cared to notice it, that she deemed it an immense condescension on her own part, to be found in such a scene at all. At length the signal for silence and order was given — a general hush took place amongst the TRIED IN THE FIRE. 55 expectant visitors, and for a few minutes all eyes were turned to that end of the gallery where Madame Guillemar sat behind a table covered with neat piles of books, and flanked on either side by the grave-looking, black-coated professors, who gave every evidence of being seriously interested in the business which had brought them there. The first prize awarded fell to the share of a French girl, who had not, in a convenient bash- fulness, to make the ordeal of walking down the long gallery to receive it, in the slightest degree painful or disagreeable — but the next person summoned was Gertrude Scott, and the deep blushes that dyed her cheeks, mounting even to the roots of her dark hair, as with trembling steps she descended from her altitude, created universal sympathy and interest amongst tho lookers on, and elicited the exclamation of " poor Gertrude !" from the lips of nearly all her companions. 56 TRIED IN THE FIRE. Six times this good, industrious girl had to go through the ceremony, whose painfulness she had scarcely calculated upon, before either of the other English pupils was called to leave her seat. She was the onlv one amongst them who had been ab^e to compete with the French girls in those solid branches of education which re- quired steady and constant industry to master, and her having done so successfully, was con- sidered a proof of genius that did honour to her country as well as to herself. Without doubt, Gertrude was very proud and very happy when, for the sixth time, she returned to her seat, and added another to the little pile of books already deposited between herself and Katherine Wilmot ; but it is none the less true that she rejoiced in the idea that her task was now at an end, and that she should play the far easier part of a spectator for the rest of the evening. " First, and only prize for the study of the harp, awarded to Miss Katherine Wilmot.' , TRIED IN THE FIRE. 57 And that dignified young lady, who had some excuse now for the scornful expression that marred rather than increased the beauty of her features, (inasmuch as she was the only girl in the school who had learnt the harp), walked with firm and stately step down the gallery, and re- ceived her prize with the air of a queen who is graciously accepting some token of homage from a humble and devoted subject. " Who is she ?" whispered a small, dark gentleman, seated near enough to Madame Guillemar to reach her ear. " I never saw so striking a face and figure." " She is," replied the smiling governess, " one of our choicest specimens of the English aris- tocracy, but possessed of a pride and haughtiness such as I am very sure neither you nor any of our countrymen would wish to come in contact with. Besides, I have no authority for intro- ducing Miss Wilmot in France." To render this last sentence intelligible, it 5'8 TRIED IN THE FIRE. must be explained that Madame Guillemar's school, notwithstanding its high respectability; had a character for match-making, which was not entirely undeserved. It was, in fact, no secret amongst her large circle of acquaintances, whatever it might be amongst the pupils them- selves, that she undertook to find suitable hus- bands for any of the young ladies intrusted to her care, whose parents wished to have them married off their hands. There was only one instance on record of an English girl having been so disposed of, and as this union turned out unhappily, it was never openly alluded to. " So much the worse," exclaimed the small Frenchman in reply to Madame's information concerning Miss Wilmot, " for that is a woman to whom I should not mind giving- my arm." O CD J If Katherine could have heard him ! After the numerous rewards for music had been distributed, the professor of drawing came forward with his rather long list of names, and TRIED IN THE FIRE. 59 looking encouragingly and approvingly across the intervening space towards his favourite pupils — " Prize of honour for oil-painting — Miss Ellen Clavering." " Poor Nelly ! are you frightened ? \ Summon courage, dear child, it will soon he over." " I am not in the least frightened, Norah, only I am sure my face is dreadfully red." " What does it signify ? Take care, or you will step upon your long dress." In another minute Nelly was hending low her ringletted head to receive from Madame Guil- lemar's hands the crown of white roses she had worked so hard and untiringly to obtain. " And that young lady," explained Madame, turning to her inquisitive guest, who had leant forward the instant Nelly had received her dis- mission, " is one of our English beauties. What do you think of her?" " Ah ! not very much ; she is too short, and has too bright a colour." €0 TRIED IN THE FIRE. " Poor child ! she is flushed and excited,'' said the governess, who was fond of Ellen Clavering, " otherwise I assure you she is far prettier than Miss Wilmot." And this seemed to he the general opinion, wafted in faint whispers and exclamations to Nelly's ears, as she hastened hack to her seat, and pressed gratefully and affectionately the warm, encouraging hand that Norah held out to her. " Are you satisfied, Nelly, or does the golden fruit taste less deliciously than its appearance promised ?" " Pray don't tease me now, dear Norah. I am quite satisfied, and very glad, indeed, that I persevered in my object." Then, suddenly turning full upon her friend — " I would give the world if you were going to have a prize, Norah ?" " Hush ! we shall get into disgrace for whispering. Had I tried for a prize, depend upon it I would have gained it." TRIED IN THE FIRE. 61 In the meanwhile the chief business of the evening proceeded rapidly. More than one young and pretty head received a crown of roses, and more than one young and sensitive heart beat rapidly in the consciousness of exciting, for at least a moment, universal admiration. But at length came the most interesting part of the whole performance, namely, the bestowal of the prizes of esteem, which consisted of a myrtle wreath, to be placed, like the crown of roses, on the head of the recipient, who was chosen through the simple medium of votes by. the pupils themselves, each one writing on a slip of paper (to be afterwards submitted to Madame) the name of the girl she conscientiously believed to be the most amiable and worthy of esteem amongst her companions. It was generally pretty well known before hand to whom this coveted reward would be given ; but on the present occasion there were two girls, one French, and the other English, 62 TRIED IN THE FIRE. who shared nearly equally the esteem and af- fection of the rest of the school. The former was a young lady who had already carried off five or six of the most honourable prizes ; the latter was Gertrude Scott, whose genuine and unaffected humility had prevented her from having the slightest suspicion that she was to be the heroine of the evening- So, however, it turned out ; and on the public announcement being made, that amongst sixty girls, this quiet English stranger was admitted by the larger number to be the most worthy of esteem ; poor Gertrude, with tears in her eyes, and a brighter flush than even Nelly Clavering's on her cheek, had once more to walk down the formidable gallery, and amidst looks of interest from the spectators, and of warm approval from Madame Guillemar and her assistants, to re- ceive the myrtle crown upon her head, and return thus honourably decorated to hear the vet more touching; and gratifying murmurs TRIED IN THE FIRE. 63 of congratulation that arose amongst her com- panions. This being the last prize to be bestowed, a general movement now took place, and imme- diate preparations were commenced for the promised concert. All the girls who had any pretensions to be musicians, were included amongst the performers ; the least skilful certain of finding indulgence, at any rate, from their own relatives, and a few so conscious of superior talent, that they had no need to fear the most critical audience. Amongst the last was Nelly Clavering, whose rich, thrilling voice only required careful culti- vation to make it as remarkable as it was even now sweet and attractive. " You are looking too thoughtful and dis- contented for an expectant prima donna, " said Norah to her friend, as they stood together for a few minutes, drinking eau sucre in the salle de dessin ; " what is the matter, Nelly ?" 64 TRIED IN THE FIRE. "Nothing, only I am tired of the evening, and wish I had not to sing." " Is that quite true, Nelly ?" " It is indeed — but here comes Gertrude Scott to speak to us. How pretty she looks to-night, don't vou think so ?" " Not exactly pretty, but very nice, and very happy. Well, Gerty, how do you feel beneath your weight of honours ? Here is Ellen Cla- vering half inclined to be jealous of you." This was purely a random shot, for Norah had been far from attributing anv such unworthy sentiment to her friend ; but Nelly's face grew crimson under Gertrude's smiling scrutiny, and she replied with unusual temper — " You are for ever saying disagreeable things, Norah. Nobody can feal more strongly than I do, the justice of the distinction Gertrude has obtained : she will not question this, I am sure, though you are ungenerous enough to do so." " How childish you are," replied Norah, in a TRIED IN THE FIRE. 65 half-grieved, and half-impatient tone. " I was only jesting, as anybody but yourself would have discovered. You had better leave us, Gertrude, for you see we are both of us excessively dis- agreeable to-night." '•Not till I have thanked you both most sincerely for your votes in my favour," said Gertrude, looking gratefully from one to the other of these strangely assorted friends. " I knew that a few amongst the English girls wished me to get the prize of esteem, but I never could have believed I had so many friends — it has been a great surprise to me." "True merit is always humble," replied Norah, " at least if children's copybooks are to be trusted in — but you are not partaking of these delectable refreshments, Gertrude, and in five minutes the concert will begin." At that moment Nelly was called by one of the teachers to bring her music and remain with the other intended performers in the circle as- VOL. I. F 65 TRIED IN THE FIRE. signed to them round the different instruments, which had been placed upon a kind of square dais, contrived for the occasion at the same end of the gallery where the pupils had previously been seated. In an establishment like that of Madame Guillemar, the concert, it is scarcely necessary to say, went off with great eclat. All the singers were loudly and enthusiastically ap- plauded, Ellen Clavering not more, perhaps, but quite as warmly as any of the rest ; and yet she had rarely done so little justice to her voice as on this occasion, and it must have been a superior one indeed to triumph in the slightest degree over the disinclination she evidently felt to exert its powers. Miss Wilmot played an elaborate solo on the harp, which excited the very fervent admiration of the small dark gentleman, and inspired him for a moment with the insane idea of following that young lady to England, and boldly demand- TRIED IN THE FIRE. 67 ing her hand of her aristocratic parents ; but happening at a later hour of the evening to en- counter a look of Katherine's when he had dared to fix his eyes upon her for a longer period than politeness warranted, he not only abandoned this design, but came to the remark- able conclusion that a wife chosen from the English aristocracy would not be likely to yield him that entire respect which he should naturally exact from the lady on whom he conferred the honour of his name. The little dance that succeeded the concert „ was necessarily less brilliant than either of the two entertainments that had gone before. Most of the girls were tired and warm, and those pri- vileged friends who were permitted to mingle indiscriminately amongst them, would have pre- ferred chatting quietly rather than leading them through the figures of a quadrille ; but Madame Guillemar and the dancing-master were both agreed as to the urgent necessity of this cere- F 2 68 TRIED IN THE FIRE. monial, so one and all were obliged to submit to it, and to conceal their weariness and sighing for bed as well as they could. Norah and Ellen had only five minutes to- gether when the long evening was fairly over ; and then, on the former's earnestly entreating a reconciliation, Nelly, putting up her face for a kiss, said, frankly, — " If there had been nothing of truth in your accusation, Norah, I should not have been offended, but I had been contrasting discon- tentedly my crown of roses, which had cost me such immense effort, with Gertrude's myrtle wreath, obtained through the simple exercise of a goodness that is perhaps natural to her, but none the less admirable and worthy of imitation. I suppose she will be one of your true women by and bye." " Perhaps so ; but not if her present book fever grow. Blue stockings — it is an odious TRIED IN THE FIRE. 69 name for them — are the most selfish people in the world." " Good night, Norah. I am thoroughly and stupidly tired, and shall go to sleep standing, if I stand much longer." " Good night, my child ; and remember that to-morrow, at least, you are all my own." TRIED IN THE FIRE. CHAPTER V. In a pleasant, elegantly-furnished room, looking out upon a spacious lawn, where fancifully- arranged beds and wire stands of the brightest autumn flowers contrasted prettily with the dark green of the grass and of the distant trees, sat, in the month of August, 18 — , a lady and gen- tleman, both a little past middle age, talking rather earnestly together. The breakfast things had just been removed, and two or three oper- letters were lying on the table, all of them a