/ 
 
 D K A K. I 
 OF THE 
 
 U N I VERS ITY 
 Of ILLINOIS 
 
 GIFT OF 
 
 HARRISON E. CUNNINGHAM 
 
 823 
 
 N5454 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE 
 PANTRY 
 
BY THE SAME AUTHOR 
 
 THE SPORTING INSTINCT 
 CUPID GOES NORTH 
 THE BLUE GERM 
 IN MESOPOTAMIA 
 
 LONDON 
 
 HODDER AND STOUGHTON 
 
LORD RICHARD 
 IN THE PANTRY 
 
 AUTHOR OF “THE BISHOP AND THE LADY 
 
 HODDER AND STOUGHTON 
 
 LONDON NEW YORK TORONTO 
 
TO 
 
 ALICE AND ROBUST 
 
CHAPTER I 
 
 “Come to the so-called years of discretion he had undecided 
 views on every point but one — he did not mean to do any honest 
 work if he could avoid it.” — Tony's Luck . 
 
 “ That not impossible She 
 
 That shall command my heart and me. ” 
 
 < 6 My dear Tubby, I don’t believe in my sister. 
 I don’t trust her for a moment. Sisters are all 
 very well before they’re married. But when they’re 
 married they become the very deuce of a nuisance. 
 You never know what they’re up to, and what with 
 their natural advantages of knowing all about you, 
 they’ve got the whip hand with a vengeance. I 
 tell you Georgie’s got something fixed in her head 
 —one of those diabolical matrimonial schemes that 
 women invent while they’re mendin’ holes in 
 stockin’s, or findin’ the hymns in church. It’s no 
 joke for a fellow like me, who’s a bit slow at seeing 
 through things.” 
 
 Lord Richard Sandridge uttered these gloomy 
 words as he walked with his friend, Mr. George 
 Bannister, down Piccadilly. They were on their 
 way to Mr. Thompson’s house in Lexmore Gardens. 
 The air was bright and balmy, but Lord Richard’s 
 thoughts were despondent. Even Tubby, his bosom 
 friend, was inclined to agree that there was some 
 reason for forebodings. 
 
 7 
 
8 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ Who is she? " he asked. 
 
 “ A Miss Evelyn Lovejoy." 
 
 “ Promising name. What is she? " 
 
 “Don’t know." 
 
 “ Where is she? " 
 
 “ Lives in Portman Square with her mother. 
 Big house. Heaps of money. Father dead. 9 ’ 
 
 “ Ah," said George Bannister, “ I guess your 
 sister’s got her eye on that training stable." 
 
 “I’m perfectly certain of it, my dear chap." 
 
 They continued on their way in silence. Lord 
 Richard tilted his top hat slightly back on his head 
 and sighed mournfully. His pleasant face showed 
 lines of anxiety. 
 
 “You know, Tubby, I simply don’t want to 
 marry," he said confidentially. “There is some- 
 thing in the Bible about marrying and givin’ in 
 marriage at the right time. Well, it isn’t the 
 right time, as far as I’m concerned." 
 
 “ How about the Lovejoy? " 
 
 “Oh, she doesn’t suspect anything. My sister 
 made me dance three times with her one night. 
 I made all the excuses I could think of. I said 
 my heart was bad — nothing like getting the re- 
 putation for a weakish heart if you want to get 
 out of things, Tubby — then I said the room was 
 too hot — my shoes were tight — I had strained my 
 ankle — everything I could think of — but I had to 
 do it. I hate dancing with strangers as much as 
 with relations. Strangers always want to find out 
 all about one, and relations always have found out 
 long ago, so it’s equally boring." 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 9 
 
 “I never dance,” said Tubby. “ I never take 
 any violent exercise. Motion is the cause of all 
 unrest.” 
 
 “ And when I had danced with her,” continued 
 Lord Richard, “ she would insist on talking about 
 my soul. Kept on coming back to it, and simply 
 wouldn’t leave it alone. It was perfectly disgust- 
 ing. It’s a thing I never talk about. I keep it 
 in the dark, and told her so. She said I ought to 
 cultivate it — let it grow, Tubby, as if it was a bulb 
 — and that without soul a man wasn’t worth a half- 
 penny. I told her that the more soul one had in 
 this world the more trouble one got into. That’s 
 why this world is so unlike the next.” 
 
 “How did she take it? ” 
 
 “ Oh, she drooped with horror. Why do women 
 like talking about souls so much, Tubby? ” 
 
 “People always like to talk about things they 
 haven’t got,” said Tubby. “ When we get a thing 
 we cease to talk about it. When women get souls, 
 ahd get the Vote, they’ll have nothing to talk of 
 except other people’s husbands.” 
 
 “I don’t suppose there’ll be many husbands to 
 talk about in those days. I must introduce Miss 
 Lovejoy to you, Tubby. You’ll get on famously. 
 She says animals have got souls.” 
 
 “Then I’m not an animal, Richard.” 
 
 “You’ll have to prove it. You look one. Do 
 we look like animals, or do animals look like us, 
 Tubby? ” 
 
 “ I think we all look much the same. Tell me 
 some more about the Lovejoy.” 
 
10 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ She’s pretty,” said Lord Richard, guardedly. 
 
 Tubby took out an inlaid ivory cigarette-case and 
 mused for a moment in silence. 
 
 66 1 recognise two great classes of women,” he 
 said as he lit a cigarette. “ Ladies and washer- 
 women. Which is she? ” 
 
 Lord Richard seemed to find the question dis- 
 tasteful. 
 
 “ She’s a lady by instinct, Tubby, Just as you’re 
 an animal by instinct.” 
 
 “Not by birth? ” 
 
 “ My dear Tubby, remember your parents ! ” 
 
 “ I was speaking of the Lovejoy. I never refer 
 to my parents, Richard. They never refer to me.” 
 
 “Oh, she’s a very charming person, Tubby,” 
 said Lord Richard, in a tone of voice which showed 
 that he was not willing to discuss Miss Lovejoy ’s 
 social position any further. They walked on, turn- 
 ing through the Park on their way to Lexmore 
 Gardens. 
 
 Lady Georgina Thompson, Lord Richard’s sister, 
 was at that moment seated in her small fawn and 
 gold drawing-room, and though she was neither 
 mending holes in stockings nor looking out hymns 
 she was deeply pre-occupied in a matrimonial 
 scheme. 
 
 Her second brother had now reached the age 
 of thirty-two years. The elder was nursing a bad 
 lung abroad. Her father, the Marquis of More- 
 nest, was impecunious, and the entire family looked 
 to Richard to contract a marriage on a sound 
 financial basis. Lady Georgie, who was a very 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 11 
 
 practical person, felt that the responsibility of the 
 whole affair lay in her hands. The Marquis of 
 Morenest, who spoke at rare intervals, seemed 
 anxious to persuade Richard to take up a business 
 post which he knew of, but Richard flatly declined 
 to do anything of the sort, adducing a delicate 
 constitution as an excuse. 
 
 “ My dear father, a business man requires steel 
 nerves, an iron constitution, a brazen morality and 
 a heart of phosphor-bronze. I have none of these 
 tilings. 95 
 
 His mother was inclined to support him. Lady 
 Morenest suffered from a variety of ailments which 
 she tabulated in an ailment book and showed to her 
 doctor twice a week. 
 
 On this particular afternoon, in response to an 
 urgent note from Lady Georgie, the Marquis and 
 his wife drove in their antiquated victoria to Lex- 
 more Gardens. They arrived some time before 
 Lord Richard and Tubby. 
 
 Lady Georgie received them with a mixture of 
 impatience and cordiality. 
 
 “My dear," said her mother, sinking into a 
 chair, “we received your note. It upset us very 
 much. It was so abrupt." 
 
 The Marquis took up his position on the hearth- 
 rug. His head, owing to some process of senile 
 decay, nodded steadily. He fixed his eyes on a 
 rose-wood corner cupboard containing Dresden 
 china, and nodded at the shepherdesses within. 
 
 “Now we are all together I can explain things," 
 began Georgie, raising her voice so that her father 
 
12 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 might hear. “ The reason why I summoned you 
 here is because I think I have found the wife for 
 Richard.” 
 
 The head of the Marquis nodded continuously. 
 
 “ My dear, you have not asked after my health 
 yet,” said the Marchioness, patiently. “I am not 
 so well as yesterday. Sir Walter Chargem weighed 
 me this morning in his private scales behind the 
 screen in his consulting-room in a suitable costume. 
 One hundred and eighty pounds, my dear ! Not 
 a grain under. He has advised an entirely new 
 treatment.” 
 
 “ Yes, mother. Fm sure you could not be in 
 better hands. One night I took Richard to the 
 Dalrymples, and ” 
 
 “ My dear,” said the Marchioness, “your father 
 continues to be very trying about the bathroom. 
 He refuses to have any alteration made. He finds 
 the bath sufficiently large. Frederick ” — here Lady 
 Morenest raised her voice to a sort of shriek — - 
 “will you, or will you not, have a new bath put 
 in? ” 
 
 “Certainly not, Jane,” replied the Marquis, 
 nodding vigorously. 
 
 “Well, I shall have it done after you’re gone,” 
 shrieked the stout Marchioness, who was a few 
 years younger than her husband. “ I shan’t have 
 to wait long, anyway.” 
 
 “Mother, you must not say things like that,” 
 cried Georgie in shocked tones. 
 
 “Wait till your husband won’t let you have a 
 bath,” replied the Marchioness, querulously. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 13 
 
 44 Bertie would never think of placing such a 
 restriction on me, 5 ’ said Lady Georgie, coldly. 
 
 There was a pause, in which Lady Morenest 
 fumbled for her bottle of smelling-salts. 
 
 Georgie once more endeavoured to introduce the 
 topic of Richard’s wife. 
 
 4 6 1 met a very charming girl called Evelyn Love- 
 joy last week,” she said. 44 1 think she is in every 
 way a suitable match for Richard. Besides being 
 an heiress ” 
 
 44 Richard shall go into business,” said Lord 
 Morenest, suddenly. 44 1 have a good opening for 
 him.” 
 
 44 Impossible ! ” shrieked the Marchioness. 
 44 Richard is not fit for any profession, Frederick.” 
 
 44 A very good opening,” continued the Marquis. 
 44 Dry goods.” 
 
 44 Your father is mad,” cried the Marchioness. 
 44 What does Richard know about dry goods? I 
 have never heard of them before.” 
 
 44 But if Richard marries an heiress there is no 
 need for him to go into business,” shouted Lady 
 Georgie, desperately. 
 
 44 Your father gets worse every day,” observed 
 her mother. 44 He is continually making meaning- 
 less observations. And his head is nodding more 
 than ever. It nearly drives me mad. I shall ask 
 Sir Walter to put it in plaster.” 
 
 44 Poor father,” murmured Georgie. 44 You 
 must not be too hard on him. By the way, did 
 I tell you about the heiress I had found for 
 Richard? ” 
 
14 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 # 
 
 “Heiress, my dear?” exclaimed the Marchion- 
 ess. “You haven’t said a word about it l Fancy 
 keeping us all in the dark like this. Frederick, 
 Georgie has found an heiress for Richard.” 
 
 “ Dry goods,” muttered the Marquis. 
 
 “She’s not an American!” shouted Georgie, 
 triumphantly. 
 
 “Are American heiresses dry goods?” asked 
 Lady Morenest, innocently. “Your father says 
 some strange things. I have never been to America. 
 People say it’s turned out much better than they 
 expected when they discovered it.” 
 
 “She’s quite a suitable person,” continued 
 Georgie, rapidly. “ She lives with her mother in 
 Portman Square. I’m told she’s a millionairess, 
 but I must make certain of that. Richard does 
 not appear adverse to her. He danced three times 
 with her one night at the Dalrymples quite on his 
 own initiative. She waltzes beautifully and together 
 they made a very handsome couple. I want him 
 to call on her to-morrow.” 
 
 “ My dear, Richard never calls on us. He has 
 not been to see me or your dear father for over a 
 month.” 
 
 “ He is so absent-minded. Rut I want him to 
 call on Evelyn Lovejoy, mother.” 
 
 “No one calls on us now,” said the Marchioness. 
 “Your father behaves in such an odd manner that 
 people are literally frightened to come.” 
 
 “ Yes, mother. Now, what do you think of the 
 plan ? ” 
 
 “Plan, my dear? I never make any plans now- 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 15 
 
 adays. Your father overthrows all my plans out 
 of pure malice.” 
 
 Lord Morenest’s head nodded thoughtfully. 
 
 “The last plan I made about the bathroom 
 
 “ Yes, mother. Now, would you like me to bring 
 Evelyn Love joy round to see you? ” 
 
 “Sir Walter said I was to see no one. The 
 slightest thing upsets me. 6 No callers, no dances 
 and no fiddlef addles/ Those were his very words. 
 And now you wish to disturb me with callers. It 
 is just like you, Georgina. As a child you were 
 just the same. Always thoughtless and careless — 
 just like your father.” 
 
 “What did you wish to see us about? 99 asked 
 Lord Morenest, suddenly. 
 
 “About Richard!” shrieked his daughter. 
 
 The Marquis pulled out his watch. 
 
 “It is too late now,” he said. “I am going to 
 the club.” 
 
 “No, wait a moment, father. Do you under- 
 stand that I have found an heiress for Richard? ” 
 “I have to meet Bundleman at four,” said he. 
 “He’s keeping that post open for Richard.” 
 
 “ Your father’s quite mad,” said the Marchioness. 
 “It is useless trying to explain anything to him.” 
 Lady Georgie rose and walked towards her father. 
 Placing a hand on each shoulder she looked at him 
 firmly. He nodded at her. 
 
 “Now, father, listen! ” she said in loud tones. 
 
 “ Richard has got to marry money ” 
 
 Before she could continue the door opened and 
 Lord Richard and Tubby were ushered in. 
 
16 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “Yes,” said the Marquis, “Richard has got to 
 marry money. Bundleman said so.” 
 
 “Hush! ” exclaimed Georgie, hastily. 
 
 As Lord Richard entered the drawing-room and 
 heard their words he gave Tubby a hasty glance. 
 He closed the door and faced his family. 
 
 “Look here,” he said, “I heard that last re- 
 mark, and I may as well tell you all that I don’t 
 intend to marry. I can’t marry. I’ve got a weak 
 heart. Sippleth waite told me I had.” 
 
 “ Here’s Richard ! ” said Lady Morenest, blandly. 
 “How d’ye do, Mr. Bannister? You’ve just been 
 to Contrexeville for the waters, I’m told. Sit down 
 and tell me exactly what you did.” 
 
 “I’m going,” said Lord Richard, opening the 
 door. 
 
 “Don’t be so silly, Richard,” exclaimed his 
 sister. “ What are your reasons for refusing to 
 get married? ” 
 
 “ Sipplethwaite, ” said Lord Richard, briefly. 
 
 “ Who is Sipplethwaite? ” 
 
 “ He’s my doctor. He looks after my heart. 
 He told me I couldn’t stand it.” 
 
 “What has your heart got to do with it? ” 
 “Marriage is an affair of the heart.” 
 
 “Hullo,” said the Marquis. “There’s Richard. 
 Come here, my boy, Bundleman is keeping that job 
 open for you in the City.” 
 
 “How are you, father? Thanks very much. 
 But I’m afraid I can’t take it. Heart is too weak, 
 you know.” 
 
 “Rubbish,” said Lord Morenest. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 17 
 
 Lord Richard walked to the bell and rang it. 
 A servant appeared. 
 
 44 Just go down to the telephone and ring up 
 Dr. Sippleth waite. You’ll find his number in 
 the book. Tell him I want him round here at 
 once.” 
 
 44 Very good, my lord.” 
 
 Lord Richard turned to his sister. 44 Excuse me 
 taking these liberties in your house,” he said. 46 But 
 you really drive me to it.” 
 
 The Marchioness was engaged in discussing Con- 
 trexeville with Tubby. Lady Georgie drew her 
 brother aside. 
 
 44 Richard, don’t be so silly. You know father 
 hasn’t got a cent, and Raggart is going to pieces. 
 You’ve simply got to marry money. Never mind 
 what the girl is like. As long as she has plenty of 
 money you can go your own way.” 
 
 44 Can’t say I admire your morals,” said Lord 
 Richard, coolly. 
 
 44 How stupid you are ! ” exclaimed Georgie, im- 
 patiently. 44 What is the good of morals if you 
 can’t dispense with them when you’re amongst 
 friends? Your mother and father are most anxious 
 that you should marry ” 
 
 44 Yes, I know. Miss Lovejoy.” 
 
 44 Exactly. I couldn’t help noticing how de- 
 lighted you were with her that night. I think you 
 suit each other splendidly. When I saw you to- 
 gether it suddenly flashed upon me that it would 
 make a splendid match ! ” 
 
 44 My dear Georgie, you’ve been hatching this 
 
18 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 infernal plot for days. I don’t want to say any- 
 thing against Miss Lovejoy. She is a charming 
 young lady. But I’m hanged if I marry her or 
 anyone else.” 
 
 “Then what do you intend doing? ” 
 
 “Nothing.” 
 
 “ Are you not ashamed ? ” 
 
 “ Not in the least. I’ve made an art of doing 
 nothing. It is an art.” 
 
 “Well, marry — and go on doing nothing! ” 
 
 Lord Richard shook his head doubtfully. 
 
 “ Artists always degenerate after they’re 
 married. The inspiration to do nothing might 
 leave me.” 
 
 Lady Georgie frowned with annoyance. 
 
 “I wish you would be serious,” she exclaimed. 
 
 “ I am serious. I am always serious when I’m 
 defending my own rights.” 
 
 “ Do you know that father lost another ten thou- 
 sand over those Mexican mines?” observed Lady 
 Georgie in a low voice. “The position is serious, 
 Richard. Meet it seriously.” 
 
 Lord Richard Sandridge made a grimace. 
 
 “Is that true?” She nodded. He stared 
 moodily at the carpet. 
 
 “Think it over,” she said as she turned away. 
 Tubby, finding his conversation with the Mar- 
 chioness flagging, applied his usual remedy. 
 
 “ Did I ever tell you the story of the Serpents of 
 Brazil ? ” he asked. Lady Morenest shuddered. 
 
 “No, no! ’’ she exclaimed. “I hate the sight 
 of the creatures. Did you say there were some at 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 19 
 
 Contrexeville ? Then that decides me. I shall not 
 go after all.” 
 
 “Well, Tubby,” said Lord Richard, coming up, 
 “what new scandal are you telling my mother? ” 
 
 “ I never talk scandal, Richard. People only 
 talk scandal out of envy. I don’t envy anyone.” 
 “It’s not immoral to envy, as long as you don’t 
 covet,” said Lord Richard. 
 
 “What is the difference? ” asked his sister. 
 
 “All the difference in the world,” replied Lord 
 Richard. “ I envy Miss Lovejoy, but I don’t covet 
 her; whereas I covet my neighbour’s ass, but don’t 
 envy it.” 
 
 The Marquis, seeing his son standing before him, 
 made his customary remark. 
 
 “You must go into business, Richard,” he said. 
 “I have a good opening.” 
 
 “ My dear father, I tell you I cannot do any such 
 thing. Sippleth waite will give }^ou reasons.” 
 “Who is Sippleth waite ? ” 
 
 “He’s my doctor,” said Lord Richard, wearily. 
 “Doctor? ” exclaimed the Marquis, rousing him- 
 self. “I never need a doctor. Walk and drink 
 water — that’s my motto.” 
 
 “I never walk and I never drink water,” said 
 Lord Richard. “And I have no motto.” 
 
 “That’s why you need a doctor,” remarked his 
 father. “ Why don’t you join Bundleman in the 
 City? He says he can give you a good opening.” 
 
 “ Sipplethwaite said ” began Lord Richard, 
 
 striking one hand on the other to emphasise each 
 word. 
 
20 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ My dear, what a name ! ” exclaimed the 
 Marchioness. “ It sounds like a new disease. ” 
 
 “He’s quite a good man,” said Tubby. 
 
 “ Who? ” asked the Marquis. 
 
 “ Sipplethwaite ! ” shouted Tubby. 
 
 “ Good heavens ! ” said the Marquis. 
 
 Lord Richard sat down on a couch. 
 
 “ Tubby and I are the only sane people in this 
 room,” he said in despair. 
 
 “If you refuse to marry Evelyn Lovejoy you’ll 
 be doing the most insane thing possible,” mur- 
 mured his sister, spitefully. 
 
 “ Thank Heaven a man can only have one wife 
 in England,” murmured Sandridge in reply. “ Sup- 
 posing you had to find me half a dozen, what a 
 bright and pleasing prospect would extend before 
 us! 99 
 
 “I’d rather have six wives than one wife,” said 
 Tubby. “ By Jove, if they were all heiresses, how 
 delightful it would be.” 
 
 “How many glasses of water did you have to 
 drink before breakfast? ” queried the Marchioness, 
 still revolving the charms of Contrexeville in her 
 mind. 
 
 “Only two,” said Tubby. “The water is fairly 
 strong.” 
 
 “That’s nothing!” cried Lad}' Morenest. 
 “ When I was at Glenhoy we had to drink sixteen 
 glasses before breakfast, allowing a quarter of an 
 hour between each glass. So that since breakfast 
 was at eight we had to get up at — let me see ” 
 
 “ At four,” said her son. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 21 
 
 “ Yes, at four, Mr. Bannister. Ah, cures are 
 not what they used to be.” 
 
 A servant entered and announced that Dr. 
 Herbert Sipplethwaite was waiting below. 
 
 “ Show him up,” said Lord Richard. 
 
 “No,” said Lady Georgie. “I am not going to 
 have a strange doctor in my drawing-room. If you 
 want to see him, Richard, you must go down to 
 the smoking-room.” 
 
 “ My dear Georgie, I don’t want to see him. I 
 want him to see you and father and prove that my 
 heart is too weak to allow me to marry and go into 
 business and all that sort of thing.” 
 
 Lord Richard approached his father. “I want 
 you to go down and see my doctor,” he shouted. 
 “I refuse to see any doctor.” 
 
 “ But I want you to see him about me.” 
 
 “ I don’t care what you want.” 
 
 The Marquis of Morenest became flushed and 
 defiant. Georgie touched him on the arm. 
 
 “Father, Richard wants you to see him. He’ll 
 tell you that his heart is weak.” 
 
 “ I don’t care if it is weak. Why should I listen 
 to a doctor telling me his heart is w r eak ? ” demanded 
 the Marquis. 
 
 “Leave him alone, children,” exclaimed Lady 
 Morenest. “ It’s dangerous to excite him too 
 much.” 
 
 “But I’m not exciting him, mother,” said Lord 
 Richard, desperately. 
 
 “Yes, love, you are. You know your father 
 would hate to have his heart examined.” 
 
22 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Lady Georgie sat down helplessly on a chair. 
 Lord Richard made one more attempt. 
 
 “It’s Sippleth waite ! ” he shouted. 
 
 “ Good heavens ! ” said the Marquis, nodding 
 furiously. 
 
 “Oh, send him away, Richard,” sighed Georgie. 
 “ It’s no use.” She turned to the servant who was 
 still waiting. “Tell Dr. Sipplethwaite that his 
 services are not required.” 
 
 “ Sippleth waite’s heart isn’t weak,” muttered 
 Lord Richard in a quiet frenzy. “It’s my heart 
 that’s weak, isn’t it, Tubby? ” 
 
 “So you say,” said Tubby, calmly. 
 
 “Hearts are going out of fashion,” said the 
 Marquis. “ In my young days everyone had a 
 heart. Nowadays they have an appendix.” 
 
 “It’s so much more sensible,” explained Tubby. 
 “You can have it out and be done with it.” 
 
 The Marquis took out his watch again. 
 
 “We must be off, Jane. I’ve to meet Bundle- 
 man at the club at four to see about the place for 
 Richard.” 
 
 “Look here,” exclaimed Lord Richard, suddenly. 
 “Hang Bundleman! I’d rather marry Miss Love- 
 joy.” 
 
 “Hooray! ” cried Tubby. 
 
 “How extremely sensible of you,” said Lady 
 Georgie. “ I was sure you would do it in the end.” 
 “How many glasses did you say?” asked the 
 Marchioness. “Two or sixteen? ” 
 
 “Two,” said Tubby, solemnly. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 23 
 
 CHAPTER II 
 
 * c Come when he will, my heart’s a chamber sweet 
 Prepared for love . . 
 
 Evelyn Lovejoy sighed and pressed a singularly 
 fragile hand to her brow. She was sitting before 
 a little carved oak desk. There was some exquisite 
 green notepaper peeping from a brocade box, a 
 jewelled pen lay beside it. There was also some 
 severe-looking manuscript paper, and on the top 
 of the first sheet was inscribed, in an artistic hand, 
 “ Thoughts of Ruskin.” 
 
 Above the bureau hung a charming engraving 
 of Shakespeare. A bust of Marcus Aurelius 
 stood on a bracket below. Evelyn did not know 
 exactly who it was. It certainly resembled 
 Mozart. 
 
 Evelyn sighed again. 
 
 Mrs. Lovejoy, her buxom and debonair mother, 
 who was remarkable for her beautifully-corseted 
 figure and her soft, unlined, indeterminate face, 
 turned to her child and exclaimed : 
 
 “ Dearest, what is it? You will wear yourself 
 out with all this writing.” 
 
 “Oh, I wasn’t writing, mother,” came the quick 
 response. “ I was simply trying to jot down a 
 few thoughts from the volume of Ruskin I’ve just 
 finished.” 
 
 “ What makes you do that? ” said Mrs. Lovejoy, 
 who privately wondered why in the world anyone 
 troubled about books or Ruskin or anything. 
 
U LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Twenty years’ acquaintance with her daughter had 
 not made her cease to wonder. 
 
 Evelyn swung round on her chair and looked 
 more pensive than usual. 
 
 “The other night at the Dalrymples’ dance I 
 met — someone — who said he forgot everything he 
 read. I was so sorry for him. And I thought I 
 would try and see if I remembered anything of the 
 book I’d just finished and I don’t, not one word. 
 Oh, why wasn’t I born clever? ” 
 
 “Darling, clever people are so uncomfortable,” 
 answered her mother, who was embroidering pink 
 peacocks on a black cushion with satisfaction and 
 deliberation. 
 
 “ You never knew any,” flashed Evelyn. “ There 
 wasn’t anyone clever at Girston. There was no one 
 with an idea at Brook bridge. All business people ! ” 
 She shuddered. 
 
 “They all had money,” said Mrs. Lovejoy, 
 placidly selecting a crimson thread for a peacock’s 
 eye. 
 
 “ I hate money,” was the peevish answer. 
 
 “Then you should find your new friend very 
 much to your liking,” pursued the tranquil voice 
 beside her. 
 
 “ What new friend ? ” Evelyn said coldly. 
 
 “ Lord Richard Sandridge, darling.” 
 
 “Oh! Scarcely a friend, I think.” 
 
 “I thought him quite extraordinarily pleasing 
 at the Dalrymples, and he is coming to call, I 
 think. Did you notice what a fine-looking man he 
 was ? ” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 25 
 “I didn’t care for him.” 
 
 Miss Lovejoy slammed an open drawer into her 
 bureau. 
 
 “You seemed at any rate to be having a very 
 earnest conversation.” 
 
 “ One must do one’s best to help people.” 
 
 “Was he asking your help, my love? ” 
 
 “I don’t think he is very happy,” said Evelyn, 
 sighing deeply and remembering Lord Richard’s 
 bewildered remarks about the soul. 
 
 “Perhaps,” said Mrs. Lovejoy, with simplicity, 
 “he may need some guidance, some womanly 
 influence to help him.” 
 
 She did not raise her light undistinguished eyes, 
 nor observe the look in her daughter’s face. Evelyn 
 rang the bell sharply. 
 
 “ What is it now, darling? ” 
 
 “Some brown paper and string, Benson,” she 
 said to the respectful servant. 
 
 “So you’ve taken to doing up parcels,” sighed 
 her mother. “It’s so fatiguing. Since I was a 
 baby I made other people do uncomfortable things 
 like that for me.” 
 
 “Maeterlinck says everyone has a favourite 
 word,” replied her daughter. “Yours is certainly 
 6 uncomfortable,’ mother, and yet you’re the most 
 physically comfortable person on earth.” 
 
 Mrs. Lovejoy did not grasp Evelyn’s meaning, 
 so continued to embroider placidly, while the foot- 
 man brought in brown paper and string. 
 
 Evelyn turned over the pages of an edition de 
 luxe with loving fingers. The work was entitled 
 
26 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Hours with Great Essayists. This book she had 
 promised to lend to Lord Richard Sandridge, who, 
 in polished accents, had deplored his lack of culture 
 and idealism. 
 
 6 6 Dare I?” said the heiress to herself as she 
 fingered the silken bookmarker. “ I will ! ” and 
 the marker floated down between two pages headed 
 “Work.” 
 
 66 It should move his manhood,’ 5 thought the girl. 
 “ It may change his life. 55 
 
 She read with enjoyment an eloquent passage 
 declaring that every woman loves a man soil- 
 stained from working with his hands in Mother 
 Earth rather than a white-fingered dilettante . She 
 longed to underline the words, did so, and in a 
 pretty repentance strove to obliterate the line with 
 india-rubber. 
 
 She took out some of the smallest, daintiest size 
 of green notepaper and paused, remembering for 
 the hundredth time a certain parting in a delicious 
 alcove under a palm. 
 
 “Would you care to read the book that has 
 helped me so much? 55 she had said. She had heard 
 all about this young man from his sister. How 
 he had so much ability but no application, how lie 
 had idled away every precious year since coming 
 from the ’Varsity. Georgie had asked her “to do 
 all she could,” and she had fervently promised. 
 “ He means well,” the sister had said. “ He wants 
 a friend , a woman friend, a sweet woman friend.” 
 They had kissed and parted.. 
 
 The next evening was the Dalrymples’ dance. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 27 
 
 He waltzed admirably. They waltzed, and after- 
 wards talked. When she had offered him this book 
 he had dropped the eyeglass that he wore without 
 a ribbon (her memory told her) and had said : “ By 
 Jove, it’s awfully good of you ! No one’s ever 
 lent me a book before. And I’ll try not to forget 
 all that’s in it, as I usually do.” 
 
 “Oh, you mustn't this time,” she had said in 
 an artless way, and because her soul was romantic 
 and she knew hardly anyone, and because at that 
 moment she remembered his inefficiency and his 
 unheroic life-story, she had added, in a soft con- 
 fusion, “I do want you to be happy.” She had 
 gone to her mother in a dream and he had gone 
 and had a whisky-and-soda to be sure it was not 
 a dream and that he was with the ordinary well- 
 beloved people of his set. 
 
 Evelyn roused herself at length and began to 
 write with many flourishes : — 
 
 “Dear Lord Richard, — I send you the little 
 book I promised to you. I hope you will feel about 
 it just what I felt when I read it. The whole world 
 was different and one realised that things are not 
 as they seem. Don’t you like paragraph 3, page 
 83, beginning, * Let us fight for toil ’ ? It gave 
 me great pleasure. — Yours sincerely, 
 
 “Evelyn de Vine Lovejoy.” 
 
 This she decided was too gushing and altogether 
 too long. She tore up the paper, selected another 
 sheet, and wrote : 
 
28 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “Dear Lord Richard, — I send you Hours 
 with Great Essayists . I hope you will like it very 
 much. Perhaps you won’t care for the parts 
 about Napoleon so much, but you will be sure to 
 like ‘ On Thought,’ 4 On Leisure,’ 4 On Sympathy,’ 
 and ‘ On Work.’ — With kind regards, yours 
 sincerely, 
 
 “ Evelyn Lovejoy.” 
 
 She copied this three times, thinking with satis- 
 faction that her handwriting was improving, and 
 carefully and slowly (so dear is a little task done 
 for the beloved !) packed the little book up in 
 brown paper, tying the knots very badly. Previ- 
 ously she had crushed a rose which stood near 
 her, innocent in a silver filigree vase, and had 
 carelessly strewed some fragrant petals here and 
 there between the thin pages. As she did so, 
 thinking of him, Lord Richard’s insouciant face 
 rose before her and she told her own heart that he 
 was “nice — very nice.” 
 
 What was his address? 
 
 She had not thought of it. Would it do to 
 post it to Lacly Georgie’s house? Georgie’s sharp 
 eyes would recognise her writing. Georgie would 
 be pleased. Evelyn saw through the whole 
 design. “I didn’t care for him,” she had said 
 to her mother. But he had made a deep im- 
 pression. 
 
 As the address was penned with slow curvings 
 of the jewelled pen, Evelyn’s mind recurred for 
 the thousandth time since the night of the ball 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 29 
 
 to the subject of love. This was not the ideal 
 man, but could she not make him so, raise him, 
 uplift him, give herself — somewhere — was it in a 
 quotation in T.P.’s Weekly ? — she had read that it 
 was a woman’s glory to give — give — give to the 
 man she loved. 
 
 “Till, all gone, 
 
 He should smile, ‘ She never seemed 
 Mine before.’ ” 
 
 What a mission ! to raise this young aristocrat 
 with his handsome face and his distinguished air 
 to the true meaning of life. And what a sweet 
 missionary ! 
 
 This pleasing reverie was rudely broken by the 
 footman, who advanced with an untidy-looking 
 black note-book on a tray. 
 
 “ What is it? ” said Evelyn as sharply as if her 
 brain was not in a whirl of romantic thought. 
 
 “It is the lady what collects for the Chinese 
 Mission. She said you gave five shillings last year, 
 miss.” 
 
 “ Nonsense.” 
 
 Miss Lovejoy swept up the book and rapidly 
 scanned it. 
 
 “It is down,” she said thoughtfully, “but I’m 
 sure it’s too soon to give again. Oh,” with 
 triumph, “I see I gave in December. It’s only 
 June. Take back the book, Benson, and point out 
 the mistake.” 
 
 Mrs. Lovejoy observed her daughter from the 
 window and sighed. If Evelyn had been less 
 shrewd and business-like where money was con- 
 
80 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 cerned she might be more amenable. She knew 
 her own worth too well sometimes. Mrs. Lovejoy 
 ardently desired (what mother of her class would 
 not!) that the old, old^ story should be repeated, 
 that money and trade should mate with poverty 
 and blue blood. But Evelyn, though only twenty, 
 was too old to be blinded. Lady Kate Douglas 
 had schemed in vain last season to bring Miss 
 Lovejoy and the impecunious Marquis of Douglas 
 together. 
 
 “He wants my money, not myself,” Evelyn 
 had said with appalling frankness to her mother. 
 
 Mrs. Lovejoy pretended to be relieved when the 
 Marquis was dismissed with a few' curt words at 
 Ranelagh. She had only murmured : 
 
 “But why at Ranelagh? Why refuse anyone 
 at Ranelagh? It’s so uncomfortable if you want 
 someone to get you tickets for tea.” The Marquis 
 refused to take his rejection like a man and de- 
 parted instantly. He was small, freckled, and 
 anxious. Evelyn despised him. 
 
 She had been a little suspicious of Lady Georgie, 
 but she liked her, and she was gratified by the 
 introduction to the Morenests. And Mrs. Lovejoy 
 had noted that the girl was visibly attracted by 
 the new man on the tapis. As she entered the 
 ball-room on Lord Richard’s courteous, unwilling 
 arm, Evelyn had almost lost that stiff look and 
 awkward pose of the head that characterised her, 
 and was talking eagerly. “ He is easy to talk to, 
 mother,” she had owmed. True, she had denied 
 that she liked him. Which was also promising. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 31 
 
 Mrs. Lovejoy bent her excellent if portly figure 
 more intently over her impossible embroidery. If 
 they married she would no longer live in Portman 
 Square. But there was that nice little man out 
 at Singapore who was always writing to implore 
 her to come out and share his lot. Evelyn thought 
 there was something positively indecent in her 
 mother’s receiving letters from this stout, red- 
 cheeked ship-owner. 66 1 never heard of a girl’s 
 mother having a love affair,” she would say with 
 a despairing gesture. “ Darling, why not? ” Mrs. 
 Lovejoy would reply. Her usual bland serenity 
 was a little ruffled and disturbed by this rebellious 
 daughter. “ I am not old, I married your father 
 when I was very young, and,” plaintively, “ I did 
 not know one fish from another. It was so un- 
 comfortable housekeeping. I don’t see why I 
 shouldn’t have this pleasure — getting letters from 
 an old, old friend like Jack Avery. And perhaps 
 
 when you are married and I am very lonely ” she 
 
 would break off in her contented voice. 
 
 Then Evelyn would say no more till the next 
 letter came, when she would wince as her mother 
 sat smiling over the envelope with its clerkly 
 address. Both now hoped there was not a letter 
 from Singapore when the footman entered once 
 more. Mrs. Lovejoy, knowing a letter was due, 
 hoped to receive the letter when alone, for Evelyn 
 felt a fresh indignity each time it arrived. 
 
 “Lord Richard Sandridge has called,” announced 
 the man. “ Are you at home to-day, miss? ” 
 
 “No,” said Evelyn, so hurriedly that her mother 
 
82 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 started. “ Stay, Benson, yes— I will see him,” she 
 cried, stepping after him. She flew to the oval 
 mirror, perceived that her hair was in excellent 
 disorder, thanked Heaven that she was in her 
 picturesque green painted muslin (it was quite new), 
 and paused fluttering at the door. 
 
 “ I must give him time to notice the beautiful 
 room ” 
 
 She had, with extraordinary prescience, ordered 
 the richest flowers to be placed in the drawing- 
 room. 
 
 “I must not hurry, he must not think me 
 eager 99 
 
 Meanwhile Lord Richard Sandridge was seated 
 with his chin on his hands in the room below, 
 noticing nothing, and filled with the gloomiest 
 forebodings. 
 
 “ I wish I had not come. I wish I had not come,” 
 he repeated to himself again and again with the 
 sincerity of a child. 
 
 Three minutes elapsed. Another thought came 
 into his brain. “ Why did I come?” he said. 
 “ Why did I come?” Another moment, during 
 which his eyes scanned the mossy green carpet 
 aimlessly. Then another thought, angrier than the 
 rest : “ Georgie made me come. They all made me 
 come,” he repeated; “Georgie made me come.” 
 
 His exceedingly attractive face was flushed with 
 irritation and annoyance when the door was flung 
 open and the heiress entered with a look of com- 
 placency and self-possession, and a strong fragrance 
 of scent. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 88 
 
 “By Jove,” said Lord Richard, uneasily, as he 
 shook hands, “I hope you’re awfully fit.” 
 
 They sank simultaneously into hard, elegant 
 chairs. 
 
 “It’s so funny,” said Evelyn, in a low voice. 
 “I was just posting you a — a parcel.” 
 
 “A parcel! I say, were you? How awfully 
 rippin’ of you, Miss Lovejoy. You know no one 
 has troubled to send me parcels since my old nurse 
 posted me things to Eton.” 
 
 Miss Lovejoy blushed. She blushed readily. 
 
 “ Oh, it’s only a book — the book I told you 
 about — Essays ,” she said breathlessly. 
 
 “Oh, ah ! ” said Lord Richard, quite at sea, and 
 disappointed that the parcel should end in that. 
 
 “I wrote you a note too,” continued Miss Love- 
 joy, feeling as though she was being carried she 
 knew not whither. 
 
 “ How nice of you ! Let me see it, won’t you? ” 
 “I don’t think I will now you’ve come,” she 
 answered. “Don’t you think it would be silly? ” 
 Lord Richard, feeling at a loss, agreed hastily. 
 “Was it not a delightful dance?” said Miss 
 Lovejoy after a considerable pause. “ I think our 
 hostess was looking wonderfully beautiful.” 
 
 “ Let’s see, she was the stout lady in blue with 
 the big diamonds, wasn’t she? ” 
 
 “ Oh, no — Mrs. Dalrymple stout ! Very thin, all 
 in white l ” 
 
 “ Oh ! ” Lord Richard tried to remember. He 
 had been to three dances since and was naturally 
 mixed. 
 
 B 
 
34 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ I expect perhaps,” said Miss Lovejoy, who went 
 to one dance a year, “perhaps you don’t notice 
 people very much — what they look like, I mean.” 
 
 By this Sandridge was himself again. He de- 
 clared he did, he always did, but mendaciously 
 added that that evening he had eyes only for one 
 person, 
 
 “Heaven forgive me for the lie,” he murmured 
 to himself. 
 
 Then he felt extraordinarily pleased with him- 
 self. He liked, yes, he positively enjoyed a little 
 flirtation. It was a change from the eternal 
 chatter of Tubby and those unreasonable people at 
 home. 
 
 “You are staring at that little water-colour,” 
 said Miss Lovejoy. “It’s a Whistler.” 
 
 “ How did you get hold of it? ” he asked, trying 
 to see which picture she meant. 
 
 “ Oh, I knew him.” She was proud of this. She 
 had never known anyone clever before or since, and 
 she worshipped ability. “He didn’t want to part 
 with it, but I ” — she smiled picturesquely and laid 
 one finger, studded with a huge emerald, reminis- 
 cently on her lips — “I persuaded him to give it 
 to me. I was always good at wheedling.” 
 
 “At beagling!” exclaimed Lord Richard. 
 “ Gracious heavens, so am I ! I went out with the 
 Southsea lot when I was staying with a sort of 
 cousin of mine, but you find too soon, you know, 
 
 that’s the worst of it. I remember one ” He 
 
 launched out on a long description while the girl 
 sat amazed. Tea was brought in. Lord Richard 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 35 
 
 pulled himself up with a start as she handed him 
 a priceless cup. 
 
 “I’ve been boring you. Now I know I have,” 
 he said, and he turned his utterly charming smile 
 on her so frankly that the odd thrill at her heart 
 came again triumphantly ; she had no humour and 
 was afraid to explain that he had mistaken what 
 she said. She even contemplated the hideous, 
 fatiguing sport of beagling with satisfaction as he 
 spoke, soon inquiring, as she had never witnessed 
 it, “What the ladies wore? ” 
 
 Her visitor entered into this theme with en- 
 thusiasm. 
 
 “I used to know a rippin’ little woman, Mrs. 
 Jones, and none looked better. She had quite a 
 simple kit — white jersey and short tweed skirt and 
 natty little brown boots. She had a small foot,” 
 said Lord Richard, simply. 
 
 Evelyn instantly hated Mrs. Jones and was 
 pleased to feel that she did. She had never been 
 in love. Was it possible? — she dared not welcome 
 the thought. But she must direct the conversation 
 into higher spheres. 
 
 “ By the way,” said Lord Richard, quite briskly, 
 “vrihat is your favourite pudding? ” 
 
 Tubby had told him in a malicious moment that 
 this w r as a good question to ask any girl you found 
 it difficult to talk to. He trusted Tubby rather. 
 
 Evelyn cast about for an answer. The conversa- 
 tion was becoming silly. She wished to discuss 
 Raphael and the Muses (who exactly were the 
 Muses ?) 
 
36 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 4< I like plum-pudding. This cake,” observed 
 the ultimate heir to the marquisate of Morenest, 
 44 reminded me of it.” 
 
 Sir Walter Chargem says plum-puddings are 
 pernicious,” said Evelyn, firmly. 
 
 64 Do you believe in doctors?” grinned Lord 
 Richard, making good headway with his cake and 
 thinking of Sippleth waite. 
 
 44 In England we believe in our wives and our 
 doctors, that’s why we’re such a splendid race,” 
 said Evelyn, primly. 
 
 44 Good heavens! that’s why we’re a failure!” 
 he said. 44 Oh, Miss Lovejoy, my sister tells me you 
 are superstitious. Do tell me about it. Are you 
 really ? Do you honestly believe that passing under 
 a ladder and spilling salt and things makes any 
 difference ? And oh ! have you ever seen a ghost ? 
 And have you combed your hair on Hallowe’en 
 night, and eaten an apple and seen the face of your 
 husband over your shoulder? And what was he 
 like? ” 
 
 Lord Richard laid down his tiny plate and gazed 
 directly at the girl. 
 
 44 We are talking nonsense, I think,” she said. 
 44 1 have not seen a ghost, Lord Richard, but — 
 I’ve had my hand read, and it’s come true.” 
 
 Evelyn leaned a little nearer to him. 44 1 spent 
 all last Saturday afternoon most excitingly,” she 
 informed him. 44 1 went to three astrologists ! ” 
 
 44 She is a nice girl,” thought Lord Richard, 
 44 and I’m keepin’ her right off the soul this time. 
 Did they tell you anything a’fly bad,” he said 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 37 
 
 sympathetically; 4 ‘death of relations, horrid un- 
 happy marriage, what?” 
 
 “No — it was to be a happy marriage,” she said. 
 
 “ It’s not the fashion for girls to want to be 
 married,” his lordship remarked. “Suffragettes 
 and all that sort of thing,” he continued brilliantly. 
 
 “Oh, you don’t understand,” cried Evelyn, turn- 
 ing a flushed face to him. She talked undiluted 
 suffrage for a few minutes. 
 
 Lord Richard stared at the floor, muttering to 
 himself, “Only just off the soul and I don’t seem 
 to be further on a bit. I think I shall go — yes, 
 I shall certainly go.” 
 
 He rose stiffly, and the heart of Evelyn died 
 within her. She had not been a missionary, she 
 had not succeeded in interesting him. She longed 
 intensely to know more of his life. Where was 
 he going when he lounged out of her drawing- 
 room? What did aristocrats do with their time? 
 — what did a hopeless idler like Lord Richard do? 
 
 “What are you going to do now?” she said 
 pleasantly. “ And will you take the little book, or 
 shall I post it? ” 
 
 “ Oh, may I take it ? ” said he. 
 
 It was brought and he begged for permission to 
 undo it. She was looking almost pretty as she 
 stood there, slender in her summer dress. And 
 he was poor, and he had to propose, and Georgia 
 had said — 
 
 “It’s this,” Evelyn said, turning the pages, 
 “This is the one I like so much. I hope you’l] 
 be in sympathy too.” 
 
38 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Here a few rose-petals fluttered out and his lord- 
 ship deftly caught one and gazed at it through his 
 eyeglass. Evelyn may be pardoned for thinking 
 that it was a sentimental look. 
 
 “ By Jove, how did that get here?” he said. 
 6 6 Which did you advise me to read, Miss Love- 
 joy?” 
 
 “ Work,” she answered. 
 
 “ Oh, but I hate work ! ” he answered easily, 
 looking down on her. “ Lord, how I worked 
 once ! ” 
 
 “ Yes,” she said, all eager attention. 
 
 Mrs. Lovejoy, at that moment taking the Singa- 
 pore letter from the letter-box, observed them with 
 satisfaction through the crack of the door, which 
 the footman bearing the Essays had left open. 
 
 “ What work was it? ” and Evelyn’s face soft- 
 ened. Perhaps he had been in Parliament or slaved 
 in Diplomacy. 
 
 “Oh, it was weeding my sister’s garden,” said 
 Lord Richard. “ Georgie got it into her head to 
 live in the country, and poor old Thompson had to 
 get her a place down in Essex. You’ve no idea,” 
 said Richard, excitedly, “ what a big area of weed- 
 ing there was to be done. No one would believe 
 it. There was acres of weeding. Georgie had an 
 economical fit — perhaps you’ve noticed my sister’s 
 very economical at times ” 
 
 Miss Lovejoy had noticed. Georgie had walked 
 her home from a matinee and Evelyn had not 
 forgotten it. 
 
 “ And I had to do all the weedin’, for she wouldn’t 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 39 
 
 have a gardener. Simply kicked and screamed and 
 said she wouldn’t, and that I must do it. I wrote 
 to Tubby and told him to come and help. He 
 wouldn’t, you know. I hardly thought he would. 
 Do you know my friend Tubby Bannister, by the 
 way ? He’s a splendid fellow for tellin’ tales — 
 no one better. Even my people laugh at his 
 serpent story. 
 
 44 But don’t you enjoy work — don’t you like it? ” 
 she said. 44 Isn’t it man’s noblest heritage? Doesn’t 
 he fulfil himself in work? ” 
 
 66 Work’s dull,” said his lordship, cheerily, 
 smothering a yawn. 44 All the dull fellows work 
 - — what ? ” 
 
 44 1 honour and respect all who work,” she said 
 indignantly. She stepped backwards, her eyes 
 glowing. She was going to do this man good, this 
 effete 
 
 No, he was not effete, he looked splendidly 
 vigorous as he stood with his handsome dark head 
 bent over the little book. He was not looking at 
 her and missed her posture and her eyes. 
 
 44 You must tell me what you think of the book,” 
 she said, controlling herself and thinking that per- 
 haps enough had been said. 
 
 There was a silence which Evelyn found em- 
 barrassing. 
 
 4 4 If you like it I could lend you his other 
 books, they’re longer,” she said. 44 One’s on the 
 Renaissance.” 
 
 44 Eh? ” he said absently. 
 
 44 What can he be thinking of ? ” she wondered. 
 
40 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ Can my words about working be rankling in his 
 mind ? ” 
 
 Then as she thought he raised his pleasant dark 
 eyes to hers and exclaimed : 
 
 “ Miss Lovejoy, you told me the other evenin’ 
 you were very fond of animals. May I take you 
 and Mrs. Lovejoy to the Zoo one day? 99 
 
 CHAPTER III 
 
 44 Forgive me if I seem, unkind. 
 
 Oh, love ! you know not why ! 71 
 
 Loyalty in Absence , 
 
 On the same evening Lord Richard sought out 
 his friend George Bannister. The latter was re- 
 clining comfortably in his room by the open window. 
 A large box of cigarettes was at his elbow. 
 
 Lord Richard abstracted a cigarette and sank 
 into a chair. 
 
 “ If I tell you about it you’ll laugh at me, Tubby. 
 I hate being laughed at.” 
 
 “ So do I,” agreed Tubby. * 6 It takes away my 
 appetite. It’s as bad as having to laugh at people. 
 That makes one so terribly hungry.” 
 
 “ I shall have to tell you,” reflected Richard. 
 
 “ Of course,” said Tubby. “ If you don’t I shall 
 tell everyone else.” 
 
 “I can’t make head or tail of her,” complained 
 Lord Richard. “ She’s given me a book.” He 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 41 
 
 produced it from his pocket and handed it to his 
 friend. 
 
 44 Essays, ” said Tubby. 
 
 44 Yes. I’ve never read an essay in my life. 
 What are essays, Tubby? ” 
 
 44 Essays are things people write to deceive 
 their friends, Richard. They put all the beautiful 
 thoughts which they haven’t thought, and all the 
 noble actions which they haven’t done, into them. 
 Never be deceived by an essay. Sensible people 
 never read essays.” 
 
 44 Miss Lovejoy reads them all day.” 
 
 44 Then she isn’t sensible.” 
 
 44 But if she’s going to be my wife she must be 
 sensible, Tubby. What on earth am I to do? ” 
 
 44 Make her sensible,” said Mr. Bannister, turning 
 the leaves of the book in his hand. 44 Take her 
 about all day. Don’t give her a moment’s peace. 
 Upset things and swear. Put her money on out- 
 siders and lose it. Show her your friends. Dis- 
 close your true nature. Be late for everything. 
 Run down everything. Yawn and giggle. Talk 
 about dress. Talk about horses and actresses, 
 motor-cars and picture-hats, restaurants and 
 polo, dances and other men’s wives. Yawn when- 
 ever she talks. In short, behave just like the 
 confounded fool that people take you for.” 
 
 44 1 did,” groaned Lord Richard. 44 1 talked like 
 a fool all afternoon.” 
 
 44 Go on talking like a fool, then,” said Tubby, 
 comfortably. 
 
 44 How long do you think it will take ? ” 
 
42 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ She ought to improve in a month. She may 
 not improve for years. Ail depends on you. 95 
 
 “ Then I shall descend into the family vault 
 talkin’ rot, Tubby." 
 
 “ Never mind. It will have been a noble 
 mission." 
 
 Lord Richard rose and began to pace the room. 
 He went over the scene of the afternoon. The 
 more he thought of it the more convinced he 
 became that Evelyn Lovejoy could never be his 
 wife. 
 
 “She’s not my idea of an heiress at all," he 
 exclaimed bitterly. “ Georgie ought to have 
 found me something more straightforward. I 
 always thought heiresses were like dolls, stuffed 
 with gold instead of sawdust, with nothing to say 
 unless you squeezed ’em, and then precious little. 
 But she’s not like that, Tubby. She talks as if 
 she had a country cottage in heaven and just came 
 up to town for the middle of the week to explain 
 what a brute you are." 
 
 “Here’s a rose-leaf," said Tubby, shaking the 
 book. 
 
 Two or three rose-leaves fluttered out and fell 
 to the floor. Lord Richard regarded them with a 
 frown. 
 
 “Essays on work, rose-leaves and money," he 
 muttered. “What can you make of her? " 
 
 “Another rose-leaf," said Tubby, laconically, as 
 he shook the volume again and let free a delicate 
 pink petal. “ Why didn’t she put a few sovereigns 
 between the pages? " 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 43 
 
 “ Perhaps she has. Go on shaking, Tubby.” 
 
 Mr. Bannister sat up. 
 
 6 i Will you introduce me to her? ” 
 
 “ My dear fellow, I’ll drive you round there 
 now if you like ! But why this sudden 
 interest? ” 
 
 64 Oh, nothing,” murmured Tubby. “I was just 
 wondering which of you was the bigger fool ! It 
 strikes me that the young lady knows what she’s 
 up to.” 
 
 “ No, she doesn’t, Tubby, and I’m sure she hasn’t 
 the faintest idea what I’m up to. I’ve invited 
 her to the Zoo to-morrow with her mother.” 
 “The Zoo? ” exclaimed Tubby. 
 
 “Yes. Said she was fond of animals. Isn’t the 
 Zoo full of animals? ” 
 
 “Don’t know. Never been there.” 
 
 “Nor have I. You had better come along and 
 look after the mother, Tubby. There are certain 
 to be lots of things in cages just like you. It will 
 amuse her.” 
 
 “ Very well. I’ll lunch with you to-morrow and 
 we’ll take them to the Zoo.” 
 
 Lord Richard picked up his hat and stick. 
 
 “All right, Tubby. That will be splendid.” 
 
 He went towards the door. 
 
 “I suppose the Zoo is perfectly safe?” asked 
 Tubby, anxiously. 
 
 “ I don’t know. I think it would be a very good 
 thing if we all met our ends there to-morrow,” 
 said Lord Richard, savagely. “ I won’t attempt 
 to defend myself. Good-night ! 
 
 
44 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Next day Evelyn Lovejoy, dressed in a severely 
 simple costume of white linen, which she wore with 
 a vague idea that it would be good for Lord 
 Richard, drove with her mother in a carriage and 
 pair to the north gate of the Zoological Gardens. 
 It was a perfect day. The sunlight glittered on 
 the polished harness of the well-groomed bays. 
 The carriage wheels flashed brilliantly as they 
 rolled over the dusty roads. On the box the 
 coachman and the footman, in liveries of primrose 
 and dark green specially designed by Evelyn, 
 sat in attitudes of rigid correctness. Mrs. Lovejoy, 
 pleasantly excited and rather breathless, eyed her 
 daughter doubtfully. 
 
 ‘ 6 What a pity you did not wear your biscuit- 
 coloured dress, my dear,” she sighed. “ That white 
 linen is almost countrified.” 
 
 “ It is quite suitable for the Zoo, mother.” 
 
 Mrs. Lovejoy sighed again. She found it im- 
 possible to fathom the depths of her daughter’s 
 mind. 
 
 “ Is Lord Richard Sandridge coming alone? ” she 
 asked. 
 
 “ Yes, mother.” 
 
 “Then what am I to do, dear?” cried her 
 mother, fluttering her handkerchief nervously. 
 
 “You are to keep with us the whole time,” said 
 Evelyn, firmly. 
 
 “ My dear, he will be certain to wish to speak 
 to you in private.” 
 
 “Why? ” asked Evelyn, coldly. 
 
 “ Oh, my dear, think for yourself. Surely you 
 have guessed. ...” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 45 
 
 “Please Jo not be ?ulgar, mother. Vulgarity, 
 even if it comes from my mother, is a thing I 
 abhor.” 
 
 “ My dear ! ” murmured Mrs. Lovejoy, helplessly. 
 
 “I mean what I say,” continued Evelyn, sternly. 
 “ If you behave in a foolish manner I shall never 
 forgive you. You must make no excuse to leave 
 us alone together. You must come everywhere 
 with us. Lord Richard simply offered to take me 
 to the Zoo because I told him I was fond of animals. 
 That is all.” 
 
 “Yes, my dear. But don’t you think. . . .” 
 
 “ I do not think anything ! ” said her daughter, 
 sharply. “ Lord Richard’s friendship is purely 
 platonic.” 
 
 “ But even if it is ” began Mrs. Lovejoy. 
 
 “ Mother, if you do not stop I shall be seriously 
 annoyed. There is nothing between Lord Richard 
 and myself — nothing at all.” 
 
 Mrs. Lovejoy raised her hands with a gesture of 
 amazement, but did not dare to say anything 
 further. 
 
 The carriage rolled onwards and passed under 
 the cool shadows of the trees in Regent’s Park. 
 Evelyn’s eyes rested on the broad expanse of grass, 
 over which merry groups of children were scattered. 
 Her serious face was set in a most determined 
 expression, which was familiar to Mrs. Lovejoy but 
 unknown to Lord Richard. She glanced swiftly at 
 the carriage clock. It was close upon three. 
 
 “Now do not push me in front of you,” she said. 
 “ Lord Richard will naturally greet you first. And 
 do not talk much. Leave that to me.” 
 
46 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 The carriage swept up to the north entrance. 
 Evelyn darted a lightning glance towards the gates. 
 Her mother sat up and tried to look calm. 
 
 There was no one in sight. It was now one 
 minute past three. 
 
 “ Drive on a little way,” called Miss Lovejoy to 
 the coachman, “and then come back.” 
 
 “My dear, wasn’t he there? ” asked her mother. 
 
 “No! You aren’t blind, are you?” snapped 
 Evelyn as she leant back on the cushions once 
 more. 
 
 They drove in silence for half a mile and then 
 the carriage turned back. When they drew up 
 before the entrance it was ten minutes past three. 
 And still the tall figure of Lord Richard was not 
 visible. 
 
 “Perhaps he has forgotten,” murmured Mrs. 
 Lovejoy with great lack of tact. 
 
 Her daughter made no reply. The horses 
 stamped and flung up their heads. The minutes 
 passed slowly. Evelyn was torn between the 
 
 desire to stay and the wish to behave as non- 
 chalantly as possible, in which case she knew she 
 ought to go elsewhere. Finally she decided to go 
 into the grounds with her mother. 
 
 “No doubt Lord Richard has been called away 
 at the last minute on some important Government 
 business,” she said, as she alighted from the 
 carriage. 
 
 “ But, my dear, is he connected with the Govern- 
 ment? ” 
 
 “Of course he is! ” flashed Evelyn. “He’s the 
 son of a Marquis, isn’t he? ” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 47 
 
 “ Yes, my dear,” panted Mrs. Lovejoy, humbly. 
 Evelyn handed the necessary entrance money 
 coldly to the man in the office, and mother and 
 daughter passed into the gardens. Mrs. Lovejoy 
 was at once struck by the sight of a large green and 
 pink parrot which hung suspended by its beak from 
 its perch. “ How gorgeous ! ” she murmured. 
 4 Dust the thing for a cushion.” 
 
 “ Gh, do come on!” cried Evelyn, irritably. 
 “ Are you going to stand all night looking at that 
 hideous creature? ” 
 
 In the meantime Lord Richard, in the company 
 of Tubby, had consumed a satisfactory luncheon, 
 during which all thought of the Zoo had been put 
 out of mind. Tubby had met an American family 
 that morning, and seemed greatly stimulated by 
 the encounter. 
 
 “ Everything seems to be pure guesswork in 
 America, Richard, judging by the way they all 
 talked,” he remarked over his coffee and cigar. 
 “ The only thing they seem certain about is the 
 inferiority of England.” 
 
 “I suppose it’s quite true, Tubby.” 
 
 “They do things quite differently over there,” 
 reflected Tubby. “They tell me that the sign of 
 national greatness in America is to have a cock-tail 
 named after you when you die.” 
 
 “Why are divorces so common in America?” 
 asked Lord Richard, thoughtfully. He was sitting 
 at the piano. 
 
 “ Because they heat their houses with hot- water 
 pipes,” replied Tubby. “That’s why they have 
 scarcely any domestic life.” 
 
48 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “It must be terrible to get divorced, 5 ’ continued 
 Richard, pursuing a melancholy train of thought 
 and striking solemn chords. 
 
 “Oh, no,” said Tubby, cheerfully. “You can 
 talk about anything after a year’s interval — even 
 about your divorce.” 
 
 “It’s very expensive, isn’t it? 99 
 “Of course. It’s a luxury.” 
 
 “ What do you have to do ? ” 
 
 “You don’t have to do anything in America. 
 In England the matter is more complicated. You 
 begin by dismissing all the servants and replacing 
 them by trained detectives. After that you leave 
 it all to them.” 
 
 “I hope I shall never come to that,” said Lord 
 Richard, earnestly. “It sounds terrible.” 
 
 “It isn’t so terrible as it sounds,” said Tubby. 
 “Nothing is so terrible as it sounds.” 
 
 “ You’re awfully cynical, Tubby. I wish I could 
 be as cynical. How would you like to marry for 
 money? ” 
 
 “ I shouldn’t like to marry for any other reason 
 - — if I had to marry at all. Thank Heaven, I 
 needn’t.” 
 
 “I should like to marry for love,” said Lord 
 Richard, wistfully. He began to play a dreamy 
 waltz. Tubby crossed one leg over the other and 
 puffed contentedly at his cigar. 
 
 “Good people marry because they fall in love,” 
 he remarked. “ Bad people marry because they 
 are tired of falling. Are you tired of falling, 
 Richard ? ” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 49 
 
 Lord Richard rose from the piano. 
 
 “ My dear Tubby, I belong to the society of good 
 people. If I were to marry I should never dream 
 of thinking myself unworthy of my wife. I am 
 worthy of any woman.” 
 
 “I call that confounded conceit, Richard.” 
 
 “I suppose it is.” 
 
 “I hate conceited men,” said Tubby, 
 
 “ So do I,” said Lord Richard. “ Let’s go out.” 
 “You’ve nothing to be conceited about.” 
 “That’s why I’m conceited, Tubby.” 
 
 “ I hope she’ll humble you to the dust. I shan’t 
 brush you if she does.” Tubby levered himself 
 on to his feet and adjusted his tie before the mirror. 
 “Where are we to meet them? ” 
 
 “ At the east entrance at three. Hurry up. We 
 shall be late as it is.” 
 
 They hailed a hansom and drove rapidly to their 
 destination. On the way Tubby said : 
 
 “ What shall I talk to the mother about? ” 
 
 “ Oh, anything. Keep off diamonds. Lovejoy 
 was a diamond merchant.” 
 
 “It is a subject I rarely broach,” said Tubby. 
 “ I shall tell her the story of the serpents of 
 Brazil.” 
 
 They drew up with a jerk opposite the east 
 entrance. Lord Richard sprang out. 
 
 “They’re late! ” he said. “That’s extra- 
 ordinary.” 
 
 “There’s nothing extraordinary in being late,” 
 said Tubby as he paid the driver. 
 
 “ I should have expected her to be early.” 
 
50 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ In order to see you, Richard. Your conceit 
 is insufferable. ” 
 
 They took up a position in the shade and waited. 
 Lord Richard consulted his watch at intervals. “ 1 
 hate waiting for people, ” he exclaimed. “How 
 long shall we give them ? ” 
 
 “ Half an hour at least. It’s beastly to be caught 
 out at your own game like this. She’s got more 
 sense than I thought from your description.” 
 
 “Where are the animals?” asked Richard, 
 petulantly. “I can’t see anything but trees over 
 the fence.” 
 
 “Perhaps they’re in the trees.” 
 
 “Elephants don’t live in trees,” said Richard. 
 
 The minutes passed slowly. At length an idea 
 smote upon the brain of Mr. Bannister. 
 
 “Are you sure she said the east gate? ” 
 
 “North gate, you mean, Tubby. This is the 
 north gate, isn’t it? ” 
 
 “This is the east gate. You told me the east 
 gate and I told the driver. What an ass you are, 
 Richard! What’s the time? ” 
 
 “ It’s almost half-past three. Let’s go and ask 
 the man in that ticket-office what we ought to 
 do.” 
 
 After a heated discussion it was decided that 
 Tubby should walk across the gardens to the 
 north gate, this being the shortest way, while 
 Lord Richard, in case the Lovejoys might drive 
 round the various entrances, was to walk round by 
 the road. They set off with rapid steps on their 
 different courses. Tubby, after lingering before an 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 51 
 
 enclosure containing several vermilion flamingoes, 
 which excited his admiration and wonder, finally 
 arrived at the west gate, owing to mis-direction on 
 the part of an old gentleman whom he had asked 
 on the way. 
 
 He remained there for some minutes, smoking 
 blissfully. At length his suspicions became 
 aroused, and after making inquiries he discovered 
 the mistake. He set out manfully for the north 
 gate, and arrived panting and exhausted. Lord 
 Richard, who had arrived some time before, had 
 asked at the ticket-office if anyone answering to 
 the description of Mrs. and Miss Lovejoy had passed 
 through the gates, and had received a reply in the 
 affirmative. He therefore left a message for Tubby 
 to meet him at the lion-house and set off to tour 
 the gardens in search of Evelyn. 
 
 On receiving his message Tubby at once chartered 
 a bath-chair and directed the man to wheel him to 
 the lion-house. He passed through the grounds, 
 the object of some curiosity on the part of the 
 visitors, who naturally contrasted his extraordinary 
 healthful appearance with his method of locomotion. 
 
 At intervals he called to the man to stop in order 
 that he might study the antics of some remarkable 
 bird or beast. The sights pleased him immensely, 
 and he felt some regret that he had never come 
 before. 
 
 He arrived at the lion-house, to find Richard 
 stretched prone on a seat, gazing with expression- 
 less eyes at the king of beasts. On seeing Tubby 
 in his bath-chair Richard jumped to his feet. 
 
 UNIVERSITY Ot 
 Illinois library 
 *t orbana-champaign 
 
52 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ By Jove, Tubby, that’s a good idea! I’m dead 
 tired, I’ve been all over the shop. They’re here 
 somewhere.” 
 
 “Come on,” said Tubby, cheerfully. “Get 
 another bath-chair and continue your search.” 
 
 Another bath-chair was procured, and side by 
 side the intrepid travellers sallied forth on the 
 chase. 
 
 Evelyn Lovejoy, with her exhausted mother 
 dragging along at her heels, walked wearily past 
 the cosmopolitan collection of animals without 
 casting a glance at their cages. 
 
 “ My dear ! ” gasped Mrs. Lovejoy, “ let us either 
 go home or take a bath-chair. I’m sure he isn’t 
 here.” 
 
 “ How can we possibly take bath-chairs ?” snapped 
 Evelyn. “ How absurd we should look ! It is very 
 vulgar to attract attention.” 
 
 “My feet ache dreadfully,” groaned Mrs. Love- 
 joy- 
 
 “ I don’t expect Lord Richard is here for a 
 moment. Please don’t think I’m looking for 
 him.” 
 
 “Then what are we doing? ” 
 
 “I suppose we can look at the animals without 
 Lord Richard Sandridge’s assistance? ” 
 
 “Yes, yes, dear. Can’t we sit down somewhere 
 and have some tea ? ” 
 
 “ Have tea here ! ” exclaimed her daughter in 
 horrified tones. “ Only the commonest people take 
 tea at a place like this.” 
 
 At this moment, as they dragged themselves 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 53 
 
 round a corner, they came face to face with Lord 
 Richard and Tubby, who, side by side in their 
 comfortable bath-chairs, were engaged in earnest 
 conversation. 
 
 Evelyn’s first impulse was to fly. Lord Richard 
 had not yet seen her. She took a step back and 
 caught hold of her mother’s hand. Then she heard 
 Lord Richard’s voice saying earnestly : “ My dear 
 Tubby, I should adore the right sort of wife. I 
 should worship her from the crown of her head to 
 the soles of ” 
 
 He caught sight of Evelyn standing before him, 
 pale and ^hrinking. To the surprise of the by- 
 standers he leapt actively from his bath-chair and 
 hailed her with apparent delight. 
 
 66 It was all my fault,” he explained to Mrs. 
 Lovejoy. “ I have a genius for muddling things. 
 I am most awfully sorry to have kept you 
 waiting.” 
 
 “Oh, we weren’t waiting for you,” said Evelyn, 
 tartly. She bit her lip, regretting the words. 
 
 “ Let me introduce my friend Tubby — Mr. 
 Bannister, I mean,” said Richard. 
 
 The introductions were effected, and after dis- 
 missing the bath-chairs the party moved slowly on. 
 Evelyn and Richard were in front. 
 
 “Can you ever forgive me?” murmured Lord 
 Richard, softly. She looked up at him. The words 
 she had overheard came back to her in their full 
 meaning. 
 
 “ Yes,” she murmured with equal softness. 
 
 They strolled in a silence which, for Richard’s 
 
54 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 part, was due to vacuity of mind, but in Evelyn’s 
 case arose from a wild conflict of emotions in her 
 heart. 
 
 “Why didn’t you take a bath-chair? ” he asked 
 at length in a matter-of-fact voice. 
 
 “Oh, I did not need one,” she said hastily. “1 
 am passionately fond of walking. It is so sweet 
 to walk along these paths among the beautiful 
 birds and beasts, and let one’s imagination trans- 
 port one to 6 magic casements opening on the foam 
 in ’ — in — lands forlorn, you know.” 
 
 “Yes,” said Lord Richard. “That’s what 
 Tubby and I were saying to each other just when 
 we met you.” 
 
 “ Have you read any of that book? ” she asked, 
 arching her eyebrows and glancing at him side- 
 ways. 
 
 “I dipped into it last night,” he said. He re- 
 collected that he had left it in Tubby’s rooms. 
 “ Flow nice of you to put all those rose-leaves in it. 
 They kept on dropping out as I turned the pages.” 
 
 She was gratified. 
 
 “We’re going to the reptile house,” called out 
 Tubby. “ I want to show Mrs. Lovejoy the ser- 
 pents of Brazil.” 
 
 “And you?” queried Lord Richard, tenderly. 
 “ Where would you like to go? ” 
 
 “To the iion-house,” she answered with a flash 
 of her eyes. Lord Richard straightened his back. 
 
 “ Right-ho ! ” he said. They turned their steps 
 down a side path. 
 
 “ You told me a lie just now,” she said. “You 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 55 
 
 weren’t talking to your friend about magic case- 
 ments when you met us. I heard what you said as 
 you came up.” 
 
 “ What did you hear?” asked Richard, with 
 great anxiety. 
 
 “ I heard you say a fine thing ! ” 
 
 He sighed with relief. 
 
 “ I heard you say you would worship your wife, 
 Lord Richard ! ” 
 
 “So I would,” he said heartily. Then, recollect- 
 ing himself, he looked down at her. “Yes,” he 
 murmured. “Do you believe me? ” 
 
 “I believe you,” she answered simply. 
 
 They came to the doors of the lion-house and 
 passed within silently. 
 
 “How fine they look! ” she exclaimed in thrill- 
 ing tones. “ How noble their mien and how terrible 
 their eyes ! I think if I were an animal I should 
 like to be a lion ! ” 
 
 “You would be fed once a day at three,” said 
 Richard, absently. Fortunately she did not hear 
 the remark owing to the loud roars which filled 
 the air. 
 
 “Do you remember the king who had the heart 
 of a lion? ” she asked. 
 
 “No,” he said. “I’ve forgotten.” 
 
 “He is my favourite king in history.” 
 
 “ What was his name? ” 
 
 She stood before him and drew herself up, 
 
 “ Richard Coeur de Lion ! ” she cried. 
 
 After this he felt that it would be folly to delay 
 matters. He drew a deep breath and clenched his 
 
56 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 hands. He felt the whole edifice in which he stood 
 rocking under his feet. A mist swam before his 
 eyes. His mouth became dry. She still stood 
 superbly before him. 
 
 “Evelyn,” he said in a low vbiee. An enraged 
 lion uttered a loud roar. He looked at her and 
 saw that she had not heard him. 
 
 “ Evelyn,” he said, raising his voice. “ Will you 
 marry me? ” 
 
 As he said these words a sudden silence fell on 
 the place. The lion ceased to roar. His voice 
 rang out clearly, causing an elderly lady from 
 Putney, whose name happened to be Evelyn, who 
 was standing near by, to jump as if she had been 
 shot. He remained rooted to the spot, gazing at 
 Evelyn as if at some dread spectre. 
 
 She turned very pale. The lady from Putney 
 blushed, for no obvious reason. 
 
 “ Richard,” murmured Evelyn. A wave of colour 
 swept over her. Turning, she hastened up the steps 
 to a seat. The lady from Putney, now very pale, 
 moved a few paces away. 
 
 Lord Richard, feeling as if his knees had turned 
 to water, followed Evelyn. For a moment he had 
 a savage desire to hear her refuse him. And then, 
 as he saw her face, a deep regret tore at his 
 heart. He felt genuinely sorry, both for her and 
 for himself. 
 
 “ Georgie made me do it,” he muttered, as he 
 stood before her. 
 
 She was overcome, more by the emotion of sur- 
 prise than by any passion, although she loved him 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 57 
 
 as he stood there* pale and defiant, against the 
 background of restless lions. 
 
 Then, with an effort, she controlled herself. 
 Her brain worked rapidly. Swiftly she passed in 
 review before her mind all the essential facts of the 
 case. 
 
 “ Yes,” she said in a steady voice, “I will marry 
 you— on one condition.” 
 
 44 And what is that? ” he asked. 
 
 “ I will marry you, Richard, if you fulfil this one 
 condition.” 
 
 She paused a moment and raised her eyes to his. 
 
 “ I will marry you if you show me that you can 
 earn your own living for six months ! 99 
 
 CHAPTER IV 
 
 u But money’s scanty ; I’m dilettante, 
 
 And so Amanti has to wait in Ypsilanti. 
 
 Lady Georgie was washing the Dresden china 
 in the drawing-room at Lexmore Gardens. She 
 always insisted on doing this herself. The china 
 was regrettably ugly and strange in design. Im- 
 mense vases swelling out and curving in clumsy lines, 
 and decorated with inane-looking beings, stood 
 about on brackets. Georgie felt vaguely that it 
 was the proper thing to have such ornaments 
 
58 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 in her house, and bought them as cheaply as 
 possible. 
 
 The fact that the same things could be dear and 
 cheap was of immense and vivid interest to her. 
 She was moderately well off, and the management 
 of her income was the centre of all her existence. 
 Every year she bought at Evans’ a very cheap and 
 comprehensive housekeeper’s book, in which there 
 were spaces allotted practically to everything in 
 life. For eliminate the dressmaker, fishmonger, 
 baker, doctor, the post-office, the railway, etc., and 
 what have you ? Georgie often made this final 
 remark. The amazing thing was that, in spite of 
 a diligent attendance at practically all sales, and 
 notwithstanding that she studied her stores’ list as 
 carefully as the monk his missal, Lady Georgina 
 failed to save anything. Her weaker sisters living 
 all round the gardens, and more particularly Lady 
 Phillimon at No. 5, and the Hon. Bridget Lacy 
 at No. 3, accomplished this result without half the 
 exertion. 
 
 At the age of eighteen Georgina had adopted 
 one or two lines of conduct and methods of life as 
 “ sensible,” and she had clung faithfully to them 
 throughout the twelve monotonous years of married 
 life with the excellent Thompson. 
 
 So things were as they always had been this 
 June morning at 4 Lexmore Gardens. The clock 
 pointed to eleven ; Lady Georgie had sketched out 
 with the cook a bill of fare for the day, comprising 
 two puddings made for twopence. The cook, who 
 was unfortunately new and unused to the place, had 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 59 
 
 ventured to suggest a savoury Georgie had never 
 heard of. She distrusted that savoury at once, but 
 was patient and heard the cook out. 
 
 66 It seems to involve a good deal of expense with 
 the chutney and the prawns,” she had said with 
 the peculiar graciousness and firmness she employed 
 towards servants. “ I think we had best leave it 
 alone.” 
 
 It was china morning, a Wednesday, and her 
 ladyship was in full swing. She wore a huge linen 
 apron, enveloping her plump person. As she 
 washed she meditated on her brother. 
 
 “ If he had only an income of his own ! ” she 
 sighed. “ Rut he hasn’t, he never will have, and 
 it’s essential that something should be arranged. 
 He must marry or work.” 
 
 At breakfast she had emphasised the thought 
 to Thompson, who was head of that great banking 
 firm, Hill, Mackerel & Thompson. 
 
 “I’ll speak to Hill,” the good-natured man had 
 replied. 4 4 And I don’t think sardines make a 
 
 very satisfactory breakfast, Georgina. I think I 
 remember saying so before.” 
 
 “ Yes, do speak to Hill,” said Georgie. She 
 had for long gone on the plan of taking no notice 
 of any remark which annoyed her. She seldom 
 thought of the aggravating fact that Mr. Thompson 
 spent an hour and a half every day (he had con- 
 fessed it) lunching at the First Avenue Hotel. She 
 seldom thought of how much it came to. 
 
 Just as she was replacing an enormous flower- 
 pot of chaste design on a stand, made specially 
 
60 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 for it, her eyes fell on her brother’s handsome 
 figure passing the window with an unusually quick 
 step. 
 
 “ Richard to lunch ! How very tiresome. There’s 
 really nothing in the house except chicken, and he 
 began that some days ago. This sort of thing 
 makes me wish one had no brothers at all ! ” 
 
 Lady Georgie forgot her annoyance when she 
 caught sight of her brother’s face. It had lost its 
 customary pleasant look and was worried, distinctly 
 worried. ^ 
 
 “ Is it bad news, Richard?” she said, nearly 
 dropping a small Savona vase. “Is anyone ill? ” 
 “No, no, it’s not that,” he answered, sinking 
 wearily upon a couch. “You’ll be pleased with 
 me, Georgie.” 
 
 This time the Savona vase dropped and broke 
 into a thousand pieces. It was one of those rare 
 occasions when Georgie was genuinely moved. She 
 guessed instant 2y, and thoughts of diamonds and 
 houses in Portman Square, Christmas and birthday 
 gifts, danced in her brain. She even imagined her- 
 self strolling in the grounds of Miss Lovejoy’s 
 immense country estate, “Dinas Powis.” 
 
 Her eyes, always roundish, grew positively like 
 small blue saucers as she gazed at Lord Richard. 
 
 “It’s Miss Lovejoy! You are engaged ! ” she 
 almost whispered. 
 
 “Right,” said Lord Richard. 
 
 “You darling! ” said Lady Georgie, approach- 
 ing and kissing him tenderly. “Now tell me all 
 about it, and don’t be long, for I must finish the 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 61 
 
 china and have a dressmaker at twelve. When did 
 you do it? ” 
 
 “ Yesterday.” 
 
 “ So you come to me practically at once. That 
 was nice. I’m awfully glad, Richard. It makes 
 everything so easy, and isn’t it very — very ” — 
 Lady Georgie hesitated — “ very interesting to be 
 in love? ” 
 
 “Oh, very,” he said despondently. 
 
 “ Richard, you’re not well. It’s your heart 
 again ! ” Lady Georgie believed in Sippleth waite. 
 
 “ It is, as you say, my heart again,” he answered. 
 66 She has accepted me on this condition, that I earn 
 my own living for six months.” 
 
 “Oh, impossible,” said Georgie, sharply. “She 
 would never presume to dictdfe to you ! ” 
 
 “ She did. She didn’t oehave a bit like the 
 heiresses in books,” said her brother, a little wildly. 
 The whole situation rose before him again in terrible 
 clearness. How unkind and unreasonable she was. 
 And he had taken her to the Zoo! And only 
 yesterday morning he remembered he had been 
 positively light-hearted. He had even whistled as 
 he was shaving, he recollected. Now there was 
 nothing left to be happy over, ran his incoherent 
 thoughts. He wished he had never met Miss Love- 
 joy. He looked at his sister, who was mechanic- 
 ally trying to piece together the Savona vase, and 
 he hated her. 
 
 “ She didn’t mean it, you know, Richard ; it 
 was just — just a rather impertinent joke,” she 
 suggested. 
 
62 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ She was perfectly serious.” 
 
 “ Well, I think it was gross impertinence on her 
 part,” w r as the hot reply. “I never heard of such, 
 a thing ! ” 
 
 “I said I would do anything for her sake.” 
 
 “ Silly ass ! Why say such a thing? ” 
 
 “ I won’t have you callin’ me a silly ass, Georgie. 
 Who suggested it? Who swore it was the best 
 thing to do for the family? ” 
 
 Lady Georgina was quelled by her brother’s 
 bitterness. She remained silent for a few moments’ 
 then burst out with : 
 
 “ Did you accept the conditions? ” 
 
 “Of course I played up to her. I pretended 
 that it was the easiest thing in the world, and we 
 arranged that I should 4gjp and see her in December. 
 The six months is to begin on July 1st.” 
 
 Richard did not add that Evelyn had been charm- 
 ing to him after the scene in the lion-house. Her 
 manner had been gentle, kind even to tenderness. 
 She had looked at him in a delightful way under 
 her long, dark lashes, and as he said good-bye she 
 even pressed his hand lingeringly. 
 
 Mrs. Lovejoy and Tubby, panting up the grave 
 w r alks, thought the whole thing was arranged as 
 they observed the cool, white linen dress in close 
 proximity to the immaculate suit, wdiich was the 
 hundred and twentieth item on a famous tailor’s 
 bill. 
 
 “Well, I’m sorry, on the w r hole,” said Georgie, 
 after deep thought. “ But you can easily get 
 employment. There’s Bundleman ” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 63 
 
 4 4 Hang Bundleman! Hang him many times 
 over ! ” 
 
 44 My dear boy, what would be the good of hang- 
 ing anyone many times over ? And Bertie will 
 speak for you at the bank — in fact, he’s doing so 
 to-day ” 
 
 Lord Richard’s lips set in an obstinate line and 
 his sister’s heart sank. 44 I’m not going into a 
 bank. I’d give them fair warning and simply take 
 some of their piles of gold home in my pocket and 
 go to the East and live on the money till I died. 
 I might go to the East and beg,” he added bright- 
 ening. 44 But I suppose it wouldn’t be earning 
 properly. She’ll want to know all particulars. Is 
 there any lunch, Georgie? I must be going. 
 Hullo, what is it? ” 
 
 44 The Marchioness of Morenest is here, m’lady, 
 and will stay to luncheon,” announced a servant 
 from the door. 
 
 The Marchioness was resting in the hall, render- 
 ing invisible the small but strong chair on which 
 she reposed. 
 
 44 Mamma! I thought you said you could not 
 come this week,” said Lady Georgie, hurrying 
 out. 
 
 44 Yes, it was this week,” was the tranquil reply. 
 44 1 caught Harriet using this this morning, 
 Georgina.” 
 
 She waved a small packet of papier pouclre. 
 “ Stupid woman. I took them away and shall use 
 them myself. Can you see any change in me, 
 child? I rubbed two on as I was driving here. 
 
64 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Do I look well? Your father has been odious to 
 me this morning. And Sir Walter Chargem says 
 I must positively be a vegetarian for a time.” 
 
 “ I think your .complexion is much the same as 
 usual. You look quite well. I’m sorry father has 
 been odious. And I think Chargem’s wrong,” said 
 Georgie, patiently remembering the questions in 
 order. 
 
 66 Let luncheon be served at once,” said the 
 Marchioness, waving her plump hand. 
 
 “ Mamma ! before twelve ! ” 
 
 “I can’t help it if we are late. I couldn’t come 
 before. Is it a party ? ” 
 
 44 Richard is here.” 
 
 “ Where is he?” 
 
 Richard, in a fit of deep despondency, was play- 
 ing on the piano. He had an exquisite touch and 
 imparted to “The Little Shop-girl” an air of 
 appropriate sweetness, despair and gloom. 
 
 “He’s playing. Go in and see him while I 
 order luncheon.” 
 
 The Marchioness sailed in. 
 
 “I thought it was the piano-tuner; I quite 
 thought so,” she said. “Now I see that you are 
 playing Beethoven. But how you deteriorate in 
 your music ! ” 
 
 She surged into a seat. 
 
 “Do you mind my taking your temperature? ” 
 she said. “ (And would you mind stopping the 
 noise?) It only takes a minute. I am convinced 
 that my temperature is lower than anyone’s. I 
 met the Duchess of Antwerp this morning, and I 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 65 
 
 said, 6 What is the lowest ebb your temperature 
 has ever reached ? ’ She confessed it was 97. Now 
 mine, I know for a positive fact, has been 92. I 
 wonder I have a temperature at all after your 
 father’s goings-on. He still won’t let me get a 
 new bath. I go into the bathroom and turn on 
 the hot water and splash with my hands so that 
 the maids shan’t suspect. Oh, it’s pitiful ! It 
 makes one’s heart ache to think of it.” 
 
 She had inserted a clinical thermometer into her 
 son’s mouth. 
 
 “Do you mind? ” she demanded. 
 
 “ Not in the least,” he replied absently. 
 
 Anyone but Lady Morenest would have noticed 
 his preoccupation. He was wondering, wondering, 
 wondering — 
 
 “Your father nods so that he drops it. He has 
 broken two this morning. They spring out of his 
 mouth almost as soon as I put them in. But I 
 had ordered three from the chemist,” said the 
 Marchioness, smiling radiantly. “ And so I had 
 one left.” 
 
 “Mamma,” said Lady Georgie, entering, “you 
 are extravagant. Three thermometers in one day.” 
 A look of worry crept over her face. 
 
 “ I shall be able to get at more money when your 
 father’s gone,” said Lady Morenest, beginning to 
 set sail for the door. “ Did you say luncheon was 
 ready ? And should you mind setting any carnivor- 
 ous food on a side-table? Since I have become a 
 vegetarian I cannot sit down to a table with meat on 
 it. What vegetables are there, by the way? ” 
 c 
 
66 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Lady Georgie, who not only had to keep her 
 dressmaker waiting, but had very little for lunch, 
 preserved her temper wonderfully. 
 
 “There’s salad, of sorts,” she said, “and pota- 
 toes and cold chicken. Why are you sitting on the 
 piano-stool with a thermometer in your mouth, 
 Richard? ” 
 
 He dashed it down on a small table and rose. 
 “Will there be any lunch for me? ” he inquired. 
 
 “No,” shrieked Lady Morenest from the dining- 
 room, where she was already ensconced. “ There’s 
 only chicken for two, hardly that. Chickens are 
 simply vegetables with feathers instead of leaves.” 
 
 “ Miss Lovejoy said she’d like to call on mamma,” 
 said his sister, anxious for a little more conversa- 
 tion ere parting. 
 
 “Don’t let her. Mother will take her tempera- 
 ture and that will stop her talking.” 
 
 “She’d think it was the correct thing to do if 
 mother did it,” said Georgie, bitterly. She felt 
 for her brother and for the family dignity. The 
 thought of her mother’s bill at the chemist’s, 
 which, no doubt, would soon be forwarded by the 
 despairing Marquis to her husband, checked any 
 further w^ords of scorn. From that moment Georgie 
 uttered no disparaging remarks about Miss Lovejoy. 
 The matter must be carried through. 
 
 “ Good-b}^, darling,” she said ardently. “I am 
 almost certain there will be a message from Bertie 
 for you when you get in. And it wdll only be for 
 six months. Then you can marry her and settle 
 down.” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 67 
 
 “ And settle up,” he said, thinking of his end- 
 less bills. “ But, hang it all, I do admire her. 
 But how can she ever be my wife? ” 
 
 “ Why, anyone can be anyone’s wife, you 
 stupid,” said Georgie. 
 
 But Lord Richard knew better. “ No, there are 
 laws against some marriages,” he said, trying to 
 express his meaning. 6 ‘ I wish I could find a law 
 against this. I wish there was some other way 
 out.” 
 
 46 There isn’t. Oh, Richard, think of mamma,” 
 said Georgie, pointing towards the next room, 
 where Lady Morenest was thoroughly enjoying 
 herself. “Think of father and all the losses! ” 
 
 64 1 don’t want to,” he replied crossly. He 
 kissed her and went to the door. 
 
 “I suppose you’ll be interviewing people all the 
 afternoon. The best way to the bank is by the 
 tube and change at Piccadilly. Oh, Richard, she 
 won’t be telling her friends about this affair, will 
 she? That would be simply intolerable.” 
 
 “Of course she won’t. I simply leave her alone 
 for six months and return on the first of December 
 with my earnings in my purse. You’d better be 
 there as you’re so involved in the affair. Then you 
 can go home and announce it in the evening and 
 drink our healths in that raspberry vinegar you’re 
 always making.” 
 
 “I can’t think what mamma is doing,” said 
 Georgie, uneasily. “She is so quiet.” 
 
 “She’s gone to sleep, I expect. Good-bye, 
 Georgie.” 
 
68 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Lord Richard did not go back to his rooms at 
 once. He refused to think out the situation till 
 the evening, and spent the afternoon at Kew, staring 
 at the flowers with some enjoyment. As it grew 
 late he was struck with the resemblance of Kew with 
 the Zoo. “ It even rhymes/’ he muttered miser- 
 ably, and immediately wended his way homewards. 
 There were three letters awaiting him. 
 
 He opened the largest envelope. It was from 
 Bundleman, offering him a post in dry goods. 
 
 “ I won’t, I won’t be in dry goods,” said Richard. 
 
 He shouted for dinner and regarded the remain- 
 ing two envelopes. 
 
 One was in his brother-in-law’s handwriting. 
 The other was in a strange hand. Bertie Thomp- 
 son’s letter was very kind. He had seen Hill, and 
 though there was no post vacant at that time Hili 
 had generously contrived one specially for him. 
 “Easy work and easy hours,” wrote the amiable 
 brother-in-law, “ would at least make your burdens 
 lighter.” 
 
 “ Burdens, burdens. I suppose he means father 
 and mother, and my bills. Carter, have I many 
 bills just now? ” he called to his man. 
 
 “ A fair amount, sir. The left-hand drawer is 
 well blocked up, sir.” 
 
 “I’m feeling so depressed to-night, Carter, that 
 I think I must pay off one at any rate. Any of us, 
 after all, may die at any time.” 
 
 “ Yes, sir. There’s one here for eighteenpence, 
 sir.” 
 
 “ Pay it to-morrow, Carter. Here you are, I can 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 69 
 
 just do it. Now I ought to glow with virtue all 
 evening. 5 ’ 
 
 During dinner Richard kept the third letter by 
 his side; and after eating in silence for some 
 time he burst out: 44 Do you like getting letters, 
 Carter? ” 
 
 44 Why, yes, sir.” 
 
 44 Then, Carter, you must be engaged. You 
 couldn’t possibly like getting letters unless you were 
 engaged.” 
 
 44 I’m not promised, sir,” said Carter, dusting 
 away some crumbs from the tablecloth with great 
 dexterity. 44 Rut there is a young person at South- 
 sea, sir.” Then, pursing his thin lips, he added 
 patronizingly, 44 She’s a little, thin, pale, but well- 
 meaning young person.” 
 
 44 You go to Southsea for your holidays, don’t 
 you? ” 
 
 44 Yes, sir,” was the apologetic reply. 44 You 
 see she — she wants to see me, sir.” 
 
 44 Lucky man ! ” said his master. 44 No one wants 
 to see me, Carter, but my tailor.” 
 
 He tore open the third letter with a grim fore- 
 boding. It was from a scholastic agency, and 
 stated that Lady Georgina Thompson had handed 
 in his name that afternoon to Messrs Albans & 
 Albans, and that they had much pleasure in telling 
 him that they had vacant a post as private tutor 
 in a small house near Brighton. There were two 
 boys who desired to be prepared for Oxford. Salary 
 excellent. Would Lord Richard communicate 
 with them? 
 
70 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ Georgie’s afraid I won’t go to the bank, so 
 she’s working at other plans. I must stop her,” 
 he reflected. 
 
 Then he went to the looking-glass over the 
 mantelpiece and stared at himself. “ I won’t go 
 into dry goods,” he said sternly. “ I won’t go into 
 a bank. I won’t go and teach € amo , amas y amat. 9 
 Anyway, I don’t remember any more. I’d better 
 settle it up at once.” 
 
 He seated himself at the table and wrote : 
 
 “My dear Mr. Bundleman, — Many thanks. I 
 am not in need of a post just now.” 
 
 Then : — 
 
 “ Lord Richard Sandridge thanks Messrs. Albans 
 & Albans for their communication and informs 
 them that they may take off his name from their 
 books.” 
 
 Then : — 
 
 “ My dear Bertie, — I couldn’t possibly be in a 
 bank. Thanks all the same. — Yours, 
 
 “R. S.” 
 
 “ I can’t go to Lexmore Gardens again after this. 
 What can I do? ” he said to himself. As he sealed 
 the third envelope, “By Jove! I can at least 
 disappear and they’ll stop bothering me! ” 
 
 Seizing a fourth sheet of notepaper he wrote to 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 71 
 
 Tubby, briefly outlining this solution and closing 
 with the pathetic sentence : 
 
 “Do dine with me before I disappear.” 
 
 “ Here are four letters, four precious letters to 
 post, Carter.” Richard was delighted with the 
 idea of his disappearance and turned a brighter face 
 to his valet. “ Have I paid you recently, by the 
 way, Carter? ” he added genially. 
 
 “Not very lately, my lord.” 
 
 “ Is there a letter from the bank for me to-day — 
 have you opened it as I told you and found out 
 how much I have ? I never dare open letters from 
 the bank myself.” 
 
 “ Nine pounds, my lord ! ” 
 
 “ Oh, good. Fll write you a cheque now for 
 eight. I may — be going away.” 
 
 “ Yes, my lord.” 
 
 Richard sat back in his chair and thought. What 
 could he do ? What could he possibly do when he 
 had disappeared? 
 
 Where should he disappear to? He had got to 
 work somewhere. Nauseous thought. There had 
 been something in the essay Miss Lovejoy had given 
 him about a man working in Mother Earth. 
 Personally he didn’t care for Mother Earth, and he 
 was positively frightened of worms. He had seen 
 lots when he was weeding for Georgie. Gardening 
 he would not do. “ After all,” he consoled himself, 
 “ I shall only take a few shillings with me and I 
 shall be bound to work. Something will turn up.” 
 Then his mind wandered to Evelyn. He pictured 
 himself, with all his bills paid, lounging through the 
 
72 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 beautiful rooms at Portman Square. He saw him- 
 self at his tailor’s looking over hundreds of patterns 
 (exclusive) and ordering hundreds of suits. He saw 
 himself investing in sets and sets of waistcoat 
 buttons, bizarre and rare. He saw himself in a 
 perfectly-equipped sailing-yacht cruising in Southern 
 waters. He even imagined himself into Tibet 
 (without Evelyn), where he met with thrilling and 
 absorbing adventures. He saw himself in the huge 
 bungalow at Maidenhead, where the heiress enter- 
 tained her friends on emerald lawns stretching 
 down to the smooth river. He would enjoy that, 
 certainly. 
 
 “ When do you think of marrying, Carter? 99 he 
 asked when his man had returned from the serious 
 posting of the letters. 
 
 “ 1 shall not leave you, my lord, till you wish to 
 get rid of me,” said Carter, drawing himself up. 
 “ And if your lordship were to marry, and begging 
 your pardon, my lord, it is the best I could wish 
 to ’appen to you, I would then take the hoppor- 
 tunity hoffered and withdraw.” 
 
 Lord Richard sat bolt upright on the Chester- 
 field, where he had thrown himself. He always 
 lay down after the exhausting pastime of letter- 
 writing. 
 
 “The best thing that can happen to me! ” he 
 exclaimed. “ Why do you think so, pray? ” 
 
 “Hevery man is better for a ’ome, my lord. 1 
 don’t care if it be a dook or a commoner, we’re all 
 men, my lord, under our skins and houtward appear- 
 ance,” Carter said humbly, and paused. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 73 
 
 6 ‘ Quite so, quite so! ” assented Lord Richard, 
 warmly. 
 
 “ And what I maintain is, my lord, that a man’s 
 the better for a woman’s love, and sometimes, 
 begging your pardon, my lord, halso for her 
 money.” 
 
 “Has Miss — er — Southsea a fortune? ” 
 
 “ She ’as a very tidy little confectionery business 
 not so very far from the Parade, my lord.” 
 
 “Oh! I’m glad to hear it.” Lord Richard 
 smoked furiously. Even Carter saw that he needed 
 to marry money. The fact seemed to prevail every- 
 where. Even the shoe he wore was shabby. But 
 he was not going to Bundleman. O/i, no. Georgie 
 would say, “Why not?” “Tubby would not be 
 such a fool. He would understand. Why, it 
 would kill me,” thought the hope of the family, 
 straightening his violet tie. And a bank ! Faugh ! 
 He would honestly rather die. The idea of his 
 tutoring sent him into fits of silent laughter. 
 “Albans & Albans didn’t know, I fancy,” he said 
 to himself, “they didn’t know that I didn’t get 
 through the Little-go till my third year ! I call 
 that little affair a very good joke.” 
 
 By this time to-morrow evening he would have 
 disappeared ! Where would he be ? He had a wild 
 idea that he would find out the address of the con- 
 fectionery girl at Southsea from Carter. But that 
 would be scarcely fair. He knew he would absorb 
 the profits, and after all the profits were due to 
 Carter. 
 
 “ I’d better look up some advertisements, I sup- 
 
 C 2 
 
74 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 pose,” he thought, and languidly stretched out his 
 hand to the as yet unfolded Morning Post . “ What 
 
 a day I’ve had, Mornin’ paper not read at nine- 
 thirty in the evening through pressure of business !” 
 he muttered. 
 
 He found the advertisements and read moodily. 
 “Waitress — that won’t do. Industrious male 
 
 assistant for drapery business — (no). Grocer 
 
 assistant, used to both counters and soliciting — - 
 (what was soliciting?). Frenchman, young — (un- 
 lucky again). Man — accustomed to making steel 
 
 sickles and reaping-hooks (heavens!).” And so on 
 and so on till he turned to the first page, where 
 his eye caught the following in largish type : 
 
 “ Wanted at once. Capable butler of gentle- 
 manly appearance. Apply L. G., 8 Bollinger 
 Terrace, Chelsea. 
 
 The terms “ gentlemanly appearance ” went 
 straight to the heart of Lord Richard. He went 
 to the looking-glass once more and stared at him- 
 self for quite ten minutes, and finally exclaimed, 
 “By Jove, I’ll do! And — what’s more — I’ll do 
 
 it! ” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 75 
 
 CHAPTER V 
 
 ‘ * Henceforth I ask not good fortune, I myself am good fortune ; 
 
 Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more . . 
 
 Song of the Road. 
 
 “Is it possible that I hear you aright?’’ ex- 
 claimed Tubby, breathless after his rapid ascent 
 of the staircase. 
 
 “Yes,” said Lord Richard from the bed-clothes, 
 “I am going to disappear.” 
 
 “But, my dear fellow, how? ” 
 
 “Disappear — vanish,” continued Richard in 
 smothered tones as he turned his head on the 
 pillow. “ Do you think anyone will miss me, 
 Tubby? ” 
 
 “No, I don’t think that,” said Tubby. “But 
 what interests me is the way you propose to dis- 
 appear. When I received your letter this morn- 
 ing that was the first thing that struck me, and 
 that’s why I came round at once.” 
 
 “I have a plan,” said Lord Richard, recollecting 
 the advertisement in the Morning Post . “ Ring for 
 
 Carter.” 
 
 Tubby pressed the electric bell. 
 
 “ Carter,” said Lord Richard, when his servant 
 arrived, “lay out my oldest suit of clothes.” 
 
 “Yes, my lord.” 
 
 “And, Carter, there will be two to breakfast,” 
 said Tubby. “I was so excited that I could 
 scarcely swallow anything this morning. I have not 
 
76 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 been up so early for years. I hate getting up early. 
 It’s so terribly disfiguring.” 
 
 He examined his face in the mirror. Lord 
 Richard watched him despondently. 
 
 “ What an extraordinary arrangement Miss Love- 
 joy has made,” continued Mr. Bannister, taking up 
 a hair-brush. “ I am astonished that you acquiesced 
 so readily. Why have men fallen into this silly 
 habit of being slaves to women? ” 
 
 “I can’t understand it, Tubby,” said Lord 
 Richard, seriously. “You’re right — I’m nothing 
 but a slave. And a slave is lower than a servant, 
 Tubby, isn’t he? ” 
 
 “ I suppose so. Richard, you can’t possibly wear 
 that suit ! ” 
 
 Carter had entered carrying the oldest suit in 
 Richard’s wardrobe. 
 
 “Unfold it, Carter,” said Lord Richard, sternly. 
 
 They surveyed it in silence. 
 
 “Impossible! ” exclaimed Tubby. 
 
 “ What do you think? ” asked Richard. 
 
 “I’m inclined to agree with Mr. Bannister, your 
 lordship. At the time it was a fashionable and 
 exclusive pattern. But now it is current coin.” 
 
 “Would that it were!” murmured Lord 
 Richard. 
 
 He sprang out of bed, spurred by a sudden 
 resolution. 
 
 “Throw it away, Carter!” he cried. “ Bring 
 me my newest morning coat. Hang it, I must 
 have a gentlemanly appearance, even though I am 
 a servant — a slave, I mean ” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 77 
 
 46 Are you going to call on her to-day? ” asked 
 Tubby. 
 
 “Yes,” muttered Richard. 44 But there’s no 
 reason to suppose it’s a she any more than a he. 
 L. G. were the initials. They sound Jewish to my 
 mind.” 
 
 44 What are you muttering about? ” 
 
 44 Nothing. Give me that other brush.” 
 
 44 You can’t have it. I’m using it.” 
 
 44 Your hair is perfectly smooth.” 
 
 44 What do you want with a hair-brush at this 
 stage? ” 
 
 44 1 always brush my hair before having a bath,” 
 exclaimed Lord Richard with sudden ferocity. 
 44 Give it to me, Tubby.” 
 
 44 Be patient, Richard. Early rising makes my 
 hair curl out of sheer horror.” 
 
 44 The more you brush a curl the more it curls,” 
 said Lord Richard, trying to snatch the brush, 
 44 Leave it alone! Carter! ” 
 
 Carter’s voice sounded in the distance. 
 
 44 Yes, my lord? ” 
 
 44 Turn on the cold water. If there’s any ice in 
 the place put it in the bath. Ice is what they use 
 for people who are going mad, isn’t it? ” 
 
 44 Yes, my lord.” 
 
 44 Don’t spare the ice then ! Tubby, you fiend, 
 give me that brush.” 
 
 44 You can have it now. The curl is dead.” 
 After brushing his hair Lord Richard departed 
 to his iced bath, thinking deeply over the imme- 
 diate future. Tubby wandered round the bed- 
 
78 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 room examining all the photographs and orna- 
 ments. He picked up all the bottles and boxes 
 on the toilet-table and sniffed at their contents. 
 He found some Indian clubs behind a curtain and 
 began to swing them. 
 
 Lord Richard came back from his bath just as 
 Tubby swung a club into the electric lamp sus- 
 pended above the dressing-table. 
 
 “ What an ass you are, Tubby! How on earth 
 can I dress on a carpet of powdered bulb glass ! ” 
 
 Carter was summoned to sweep up the fragments. 
 When he had gone Tubby sat down on a couch 
 and surveyed his friend as he was dressing. 
 
 Lord Richard lingered over his assortment of ties 
 until Tubby grew weary. 
 
 “ Hurry up, Richard. Breakfast will become 
 luncheon soon, and we’ll be done out of a meal. 
 Why haven’t you got a photograph of her here? 
 There seems to be a photograph of everyone in 
 town except her.” 
 
 “ By Jove, Tubby, I quite forgot to ask her ! I 
 shall have to go round and get one before I dis- 
 appear ! What an infernal nuisance. Carter! — 
 Oh, Carter, just bring me the Morning Post in 
 here.” 
 
 When it was brought Richard glanced hastily at 
 the advertisement pages. The advertisement for 
 the butler was still there. The sight cheered Lord 
 Richard and he began to whistle. 
 
 “ You’re not in love,” said Tubby. 
 
 ‘‘How can I tell? Will you be my best man, 
 Tubby? ” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 79 
 
 “No. I’m faint with hunger. Hurry up, 
 Richard. What time do you disappear? ” 
 
 “ Oh, I shan’t tell you that. You aren’t to 
 follow me, you know, Tubby. You wouldn’t play 
 such a low hand, would you? ” he inquired 
 anxiously. 
 
 “I’m due at Strawberry Hill this afternoon, 
 unfortunately,” said Tubby. “Otherwise I should 
 certainly dog your footsteps. But I promised the 
 Prime Minister I’d be there to-day. The Polish 
 dancers are to dance on the lawn. Hadn’t you a 
 card for it? ” 
 
 “ I don’t know. I forget. My days for going 
 out and enjoying myself are over,” said his lord- 
 ship, miserably. 
 
 “I see the card on the mantelpiece. Am I to 
 tell people you’re disappearin’? ” 
 
 “Anything you like,” was the desperate answer. 
 “ But, of course, it must be kept strictly dark 
 about the reason.” 
 
 “Six months hence, when people read that 6 a 
 marriage has been arranged,’ they won’t know 
 what a deal of arrangin’ it took,” grinned Mr. 
 Bannister. “ I believe you’re goin’ on the stage. 
 So I shall go to the theatre every night for the 
 next ten weeks.” v 
 
 “Do,” said the other. “I shall be in Henry 
 VIII. It will cheer me up to see your idiotic face 
 beaming at me from the stalls as I come on as 
 Fifth Gentleman. And now come down to the 
 club.” 
 
 Richard spent the morning in greeting various 
 
80 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 acquaintances and lingering over his good-byes in 
 such an impressive and melancholy manner that 
 more than one of his friends asked him what was 
 the matter. At two-thirty, after an excellent 
 lunch, Tubby departed. An hour later Richard 
 leapt into a hansom and drove to Portman Square. 
 
 Coming down the broad steps was a sharp- 
 featured, elderly man, who apparently did not 
 observe Lord Richard. 
 
 “ Who can that be? They know so few people. 
 Perhaps it’s an uncle. He’ll be my uncle in no 
 time! Perhaps she isn’t in; perhaps she’s gone 
 to the crush at Strawberry Hill. But I don’t think 
 she knows that crowd.” 
 
 Miss Lovejoy was at home. Lord Richard 
 sighed. He was shown into her own boudoir. 
 Miss Lovejoy was dressed in a Liberty frock, which 
 was very loosely made and hung in flowing lines. 
 Two frightened-looking girls, with rosy cheeks, 
 were seated one on either side of Evelyn, who posed 
 before a spinning-wheel. Miss Lovejoy grew very 
 white and put her hand to her heart. 
 
 “ Lord Richard ! ” she said. 
 
 “ I’m afraid I’m interrupting,” he said pleasantly, 
 as he took her hand. 
 
 She recovered herself with an effort. “ Oh, no! 
 I am trying to explain to these girls, Mary Hodges 
 and Daisy Titmus ” 
 
 Both girls rose and made really charming little 
 curtseys to Lord Richard, who bowed profoundly 
 to each in turn. 
 
 4 4 The girls are from Dinas Powis. I am teach- 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PALTRY 81 
 
 ing them spinning, ” said Evelyn, confusedly. “I 
 want to revive the old industries in English villages. 
 I wonder if you are interested in the Handicraft 
 and Home Art Club, Lord Richard? ” 
 
 “ I’m sure I should be,” he said. “ How do you 
 work it? won’t you teach me? ” 
 
 66 The truth is I can’t manage it very well,” said 
 Evelyn, uneasily handling the distaff. She scarcely 
 knew what he was saying. She understood that 
 they had parted finally the other day. Why had 
 he come to see her? True, it was only the last 
 day of June. Perhaps he had come to say he could 
 not comply with the conditions. 
 
 She had had a brief note from Georgie telling 
 her of the kindness of Hill, and expressing the hope 
 that Richard would be able to avail himself of this 
 splendid opportunity, which undoubtedly led on to 
 higher things. This was before Richard’s note had 
 reached Mr. Thompson. 
 
 “ May I try to see if I can get it going? ” said 
 Lord Richard. The apple-cheeked girls gazed at 
 him with admiration. He took the seat on the oak 
 stool relinquished by Evelyn. 
 
 “If you had something on your hair you’d look 
 like that delightful picture of Lady Hamilton,” he 
 whispered as he passed her. Miss Hodges and Miss 
 Titmus heard and were thrilled to the very core of 
 their honest hearts. They wished Miss Lovejoy 
 ’would leave spinning alone, though they liked 
 coming up to London and having tea in the vast 
 pink-walled London kitchen. They had been up 
 last Thursday, but Miss Lovejoy had forgotten and 
 
82 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 fj? 
 
 made another engagement, and they had had a 
 beautiful time wandering over the house under the 
 care of the housekeeper. 
 
 Had not the footman said Lord Richard when 
 this good-looking man entered? And were they 
 not familiar, thoroughly familiar, with the aristo- 
 cracy through the Forget-me-not series of penny 
 novelettes which came regularly every week to the 
 village ? 
 
 Miss Lovejoy was watching Richard with strange 
 emotions as he skilfully overcame all the difficulties 
 that had baffled her and set the machine in motion. 
 He looked very handsome, and she felt she must 
 see him alone at once and find out why he had 
 come. 
 
 “ Mary and Daisy, go downstairs to tea now,” 
 she commanded. “ I will explain things to you 
 later on.” 
 
 More bobs from Mary and Daisy as they regret- 
 fully retreated. Richard held the door open for 
 them, and they adored him from that moment. 
 For years afterwards they sought out his photo- 
 graph in Society journals and shop windows and 
 gloated on it. 
 
 “I like that habit of curtseying,” said Richard. 
 
 Evelyn longed to show him how she herself could 
 curtsey, but she was not at ease and thought he 
 might not think it good form. 
 
 “I must be particularly careful now,” was her 
 unspoken thought, as she already saw herself glit- 
 tering above the world of commoners as the 
 Marchioness of Morenest. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 83 
 
 But why had he come? 
 
 “I daresay you wonder why I’m here, Evelyn. 
 Eh? ” 
 
 “I do, rather.” 
 
 Lord Richard looked rather foolish. 
 
 4 4 I’ve come to beg for your photograph,” he 
 said. “ I haven’t got one, and I want one before 
 I go into — into banishment.” 
 
 Evelyn was delighted. She was one of those 
 very lonely people who always have a great many 
 photographs left on their hands out of the dozens 
 they have ordered. Afraid of knowing what she 
 called the 44 wrong ” people, and suspicious of most 
 families without a title, she had ended in having 
 only a mere handful of acquaintances, and only one 
 real friend in the person of her buxom mother, who 
 sat at that moment in the dining-room writing her 
 Singapore letter. The letter was more ardent than 
 it had been before, as Evelyn had given her to 
 understand that she was privately engaged to Lord 
 Richard. 
 
 44 So I see no reason,” wrote the infatuated 
 woman of forty-five to the 4 4 nice man” of fifty- 
 three, 44 why I should not come out to you in a 
 year’s time.” 
 
 4 4 Would you like to choose?” said Evelyn to 
 her lover. She went to her bureau and opened a 
 drawer. 
 
 44 Which will you have?” she said playfully, 
 spreading a large number of exquisitely-taken 
 photographs before him. 
 
 There were square and oval photographs ; photo-* 
 
84 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 graphs in a deep browny colour, in a reddish tint, 
 in platinotype ; photographs of Miss Lovejoy in the 
 morning, Miss Lovejoy in the evening, Miss Love- 
 joy in fancy dress (several), Miss Lovejoy’s head 
 and shoulders veiled in chiffon, Miss Lovejoy look- 
 ing up, Miss Lovejoy looking down, Miss Lovejoy 
 full face, sad, arch and smiling, Miss Lovejoy with 
 eyes cast down, Miss Lovejoy gazing heavenward, 
 Miss Lovejoy in a hammock, Miss Lovejoy at the 
 piano, Miss Lovejoy reading, Miss Lovejoy in 
 profile, Miss Lovejoy standing against a lattice 
 window holding a lily, Miss Lovejoy leaning on a 
 sundial with trailing draperies, Miss Lovejoy with 
 her head leaning against an old oak chair, Miss 
 Lovejoy with a tennis racquet, Miss Lovejoy in an 
 afternoon muslin, Miss Lovejoy in a toque, Miss 
 Lovejoy in a picture hat, with and without strings, 
 Miss Lovejoy in a motor bonnet, Miss Lovejoy 
 dancing, Miss Lovejoy with her dogs, Miss Lovejoy 
 on the lawn and among hollyhocks. 
 
 “ By Jove! they are lovely! 55 
 
 So they were. They expressed the latest work 
 of the most famous photographers in the world, 
 and the most expensive processes. 
 
 “ I’ll have a miniature done for you if you wish,” 
 she said, a little breathless. 
 
 Lord Richard was studying the photographs 
 carefully. 
 
 “I like this one,” he said, selecting one of Miss 
 Lovejoy in walking dress. 
 
 “ Oh, that’s the one I like least ! ” she cried. 
 “ It’s not dreamy enough.” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 85 
 
 At that particular moment Lord Richard did not 
 care for anything dreamy. 
 
 “But can I have this? ” he persisted. 
 
 “ Oh, yes. And shall I have the miniature done? 
 You are — you are going to do as I asked, aren’t 
 you, Lord Richard? 99 
 
 “Of course,” he said simply. And then he felt 
 as if he was right in the coils of some great crushing 
 force that he could not escape. He never meant 
 to be engaged to Miss Lovejoy. But he was, and 
 though she was plain he had better make the best 
 of it. 
 
 Evelyn was disappointed when he only put one 
 photograph aside, and he had not answered her 
 question about the miniature. 
 
 “You will write to me,” she said eagerly. She 
 imagined the dashing, ardent lines. 
 
 “ Oh, yes. But I shall have my work.” 
 
 She glowed at the words “my work.” 
 
 “I love you to say my work,” she said impul- 
 sively. “ Oh, I do hope you will enjoy whatever 
 you take up. I think I can guess what it will be,” 
 she added, thinking of Georgie’s letter and imagin- 
 ing a magnificent office in the city, with her hero 
 easily taking command. “Would you like me to 
 write to you?” she asked. “And — don’t you 
 think you could find time to write to me every 
 evening? ” 
 
 “I’m afraid I shall be busiest then,” he ex- 
 plained gently, thinking of dinner-parties. He 
 had no doubt from the first that he would be 
 engaged by L. G. 
 
86 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 (“Levi Gutterman it might be,” he said to him- 
 self, puzzling out the initials. “I’m dead certain 
 it’s a Jew.”) 
 
 Evelyn thought that her lover was taking the 
 matter almost too seriously. 
 
 “Don’t work too late in the evenings,” she said, 
 with an adorable lift of the eyelids. 
 
 “ Oh, I expect I shall have cleared by half-past 
 nine,” he answered. “And. yes, please, do write 
 to me.” 
 
 Swiftly she produced a little gold and vellum 
 pocket-book. 
 
 “May I take down the address? ” 
 
 “I’d rather tell you that w r hen it’s all over, 
 Evelyn. Will you send the letters to my club, 
 1000 Piccadilly? ” 
 
 “ I will. Oh, Lord Richard, do sit down and 
 let’s have a nice talk. Tell me, when did you 
 begin to love me? ” 
 
 She wished she did not feel so clumsy and so 
 awkward in his presence. She was painfully afraid 
 of doing the wrong thing. 
 
 The look that came over his face when she asked 
 her last question quite frightened her. She hurried 
 on : “I hope the six months will soon pass.” 
 
 “What shall you be doing? ” he asked a little 
 curiously. 
 
 Evelyn blushed with pleasure. How nice of you 
 to be interested ! ” she cried. “ I think I must 
 show? you my time-table.” 
 
 “Oh, the A.B.C. But I shall go by cab,” said 
 his lordship. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 87 
 
 Miss Lovejoy smiled. 
 
 “ Oh, I mean my engagement list for the next 
 few weeks. You see,” she said rapidly, “ Pm very 
 much interested in the Society for the Re-intro- 
 duction of Smocks into Village Life, and deeply 
 absorbed in the Guild for Old Women’s Play.” 
 
 “ Old women’s play. I don’t understand, I’m 
 afraid.” 
 
 “ Well, down in my village the old people are 
 so dull in the evenings, and a few people round 
 have hit on the idea of starting a club for gentle 
 games. They meet together and play cards— — ” 
 
 66 What stakes? ” said Richard. 
 
 “Oh, not for money. Surely that would be 
 doing more harm than good.” 
 
 He acquiesced hastily. 
 
 “Then perhaps you noticed Sir Charles Bulstrode 
 leaving the house as you came in.” 
 
 “ I saw someone.” 
 
 “ Well, he’s the great tea and ginger proprietor, 
 you know.” 
 
 “Tea and sand, isn’t it? ” 
 
 “I don’t know,” said the heiress, with a hurried 
 frown. “ At any rate he wants to build a model 
 village for his girls, you understand, and I’m sub- 
 scribing, and he has promised to show me the 
 plans. I’m giving three thousand to that,” she 
 said with pride, forgetting for a moment that her 
 heart was aching because he had not made love to 
 her since the Lady Hamilton speech. 
 
 “I say. Are you really?” said Lord Richard, 
 with admiration and regret. 
 
88 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 4 4 1 love you when your eyes shine like that and 
 all the soul in them shows,” she said. (After all, 
 were they not engaged?) 
 
 44 1 hadn’t the slightest idea that my soul had 
 stepped up there,” he said awkwardly. 44 Fact is, 
 I always think of it as an oblong-shaped thing just 
 by my heart.” He laid his hand on his excellently- 
 chosen waistcoat. 
 
 44 Shall you want me to help you with all your 
 societies when we are married?” he continued 
 wistfully. 
 
 44 Oh, you must do just as you like then, Lord 
 Richard,” she replied. 44 1 suppose we shall go 
 out into society a great deal, shan’t we? ” 
 
 44 If you like.” 
 
 44 You will be able to have any sport you care 
 for,” she said. Then she put on her 44 wheedling ” 
 air. 44 And I’ve set my heart on your flying! I 
 shall order you the sweetest little monoplane directly 
 our engagement is announced. Oh, Richard, you’ll 
 take me up in it, won’t you? ” 
 
 44 1 fly! Oh, no,” said his lordship, uneasily 
 startled. 44 Rut I tell you what. We’ll send 
 Tubby up — my friend Mr. Bannister. Tubby and 
 mother. What? ” 
 
 He laughed at the picture of Lady Morenest 
 clinging to the frail wires. His mind, tottering 
 and confused under his many trials, was supported 
 by the scintillating idea. He could see Tubby’s 
 broad and anxious face disappearing unwillingly 
 — most unwillingly — into the clouds. 
 
 44 Mr. Bannister is a cousin of the Duchess of 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 89 
 
 Towcaster, surely,” said Evelyn, frowning as she 
 tried to remember the relationship. 
 
 “Oh, don’t mention it. He hates her.” 
 
 “How funny to hate a duchess! ” said Evelyn 
 with awe. 
 
 “Oh, I don^t like those I know,” said Lord 
 Richard, “except the Duchess of Melbury. She’s 
 charming.” 
 
 “Will she have us to stay, do you think? Will 
 she like me? ” 
 
 “Oh, of course,” he said immediately; then re- 
 membering the Duchess and her difficulties with 
 people out of her own set, he fell silent. 
 
 “I’ve got several houses in different places,” she 
 said timidly. “ But nothing like your beautiful 
 Raggart. Oh ” (clasping her hands), “how perfect 
 it must be to have an ancestral home ! ” 
 
 “ Last time I was there I thought the roof would 
 fall in,” observed his lordship. “Want of funds 
 makes things very awkward,” he said somewhat 
 coarsely. “Now I really must be going, Miss 
 Evelyn; I’ve an appointment.” 
 
 “Oh, don’t say Miss Evelyn!” she cried. 
 “Evelyn, of course.” 
 
 He took her two hands in his. They were 
 covered with rings. “I say, have you hurt this 
 finger ? ” he inquired in a concerned way. “ What’s 
 this bandage? ” 
 
 “ It isn’t a bandage, it’s the new kind of badge,” 
 she said earnestly. “Don’t you like it? — just a 
 big wide band of white metal. The Club of Essay 
 Lovers. Don’t you know it? I got it yesterday. 
 
90 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 I suppose ” — she hesitated — “ 1 suppose I’d better 
 not wear it on the finger now! Lord Richard, I 
 hope you’ll like your work. I hope you’ll find 
 time to write to me very often. I’ll write regularly 
 to the club. I am so proud of you. Please don’t 
 work too hard. Shan’t I really see you for six 
 months ? 99 
 
 “ Oh, perhaps, perhaps,” he said, wondering how 
 he could get away. She tired him. Her insistent, 
 intense voice, occasionally affected, occasionally 
 dramatic, wore him out. Besides, he did not under- 
 stand or care about souls, village clubs, spinning 
 and plans for tea-girls. 
 
 “ Perhaps the day will come when you’ll thank 
 me for making this condition,” she said, smiling 
 at him as they stood by the door. 
 
 “ Perhaps! ” he said, as he stooped and kissed 
 her hands. 
 
 CHAPTER VI 
 
 “ For all I do is certainly right, 
 
 And all you do is certainly wrong.” 
 
 Tale of a Tear • 
 
 “Miss Margaret Gaythorne,” announced the 
 housemaid at Mrs. Gaythorne’s flat at Bollinger 
 Terrace, Chelsea. 
 
 Young Mrs. Gaythorne was in the morning-room, 
 deftly trimming a hat. The table was strewn with 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 91 
 
 dainty bits of ribbon, and a lace scarf was already 
 draped round the chapeau . 
 
 Notrah was not proficient in the art of showing 
 people in, and the angular figure of Miss Gaythorne 
 entered at once. 
 
 Lettice Gaythorne never liked her sister-in-law. 
 She was furious with Norah’s stupidity and with the 
 visit of Margaret. Why should she come to-day, of 
 all days, without warning? It always meant such 
 a stupid grey time. 
 
 6 4 Good morning, Lettice. You did not expect to 
 see me! ” said Miss Gaythorne’s acid voice. 
 
 “Delighted,” murmured Lettice, printing a kiss 
 on Miss Gaythorne’s wrinkled cheek. “ Sit down, 
 Margaret. I hope you can stay to lunch.” 
 
 “I can stay the whole day,” announced Mar- 
 garet. “ There is a new worker in Camberwell 
 Street, and I am anxious that she should take the 
 whole duty to-day. Just to see what she’s in for.” 
 
 Margaret had taken up work in the slums, as 
 there seemed no other niche that demanded her 
 presence, when her elder brother Eustace had 
 married his ward. She had never forgiven Eustace 
 till he died. But she was very jealous of his 
 memory, and always persuaded herself quite wrongly 
 that his marriage had been an unhappy one. 
 
 Lettice rapidly recalled the day’s engagements. 
 She had been going to lunch at Ragani’s with a 
 woman friend, they were doing a picture-gallery 
 later, and — oh, horror of horrors ! — the curate was 
 coming to dinner! The curate was Highish and 
 Margaret was Lowish. 
 
92 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 She quickly decided to put the friend and the 
 picture-gallery off. Perhaps the curate, after all, 
 would appeal to Margaret, for she was very fond 
 of church work. 
 
 44 Have some lime juice and a biscuit/ 5 she said, 
 tenderly removing the hard mole-coloured straw 
 from Miss Gaythorne’s uncompromising head. 
 Margaret adored lime juice. 
 
 6 4 Have a care! ” sharply responded Miss Gay- 
 thorne. 
 
 1 can’t find the hatpins,” said Lettice. 
 
 “I use an elastic, not hatpins,” said her sister- 
 in-law with an exasperated sigh. “ Yes, I will have 
 the lime juice, thanks.” 
 
 After a few minutes’ conversation Margaret said, 
 glancing at the frivolous-looking hat on the table : 
 “I wonder you can fritter away such a glorious 
 morning as this is on a piece of folly like that ! ” 
 
 “ Oh, I love staying in on a fine morning when I 
 know I ought to be out,” said Lettice, perversely. 
 The atmosphere was already charged with elec- 
 tricity, as it always was when Margaret came. 
 
 “ See, this will give way the way you’re doing 
 it,” said Miss Gaythorne, touching the carelessly- 
 arranged scarf. “ Sew it firmly or you will look 
 foolish on a windy day ! ” 
 
 She chuckled. Lettice glanced at the terrible 
 mottled handkerchief on the mole-coloured straw, 
 tied tightly down, and shuddered slightly. 
 
 &nd how is Claude? Has he gone to school 
 yet? That’s one of the things I came up to see 
 to,” said Margaret, staring at pretty Lettice. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 93 
 
 Lettice set her lips firmly. “No, he hasn't,” 
 she said. “I am going to get a tutor for him 
 soon,” she added. 
 
 “ Eustace, had he lived, would certainly have 
 sent him to school by now,” said Margaret Gay- 
 thorne. 
 
 “ I think Eustace would have done what I 
 wished,” responded Lettice, trying to speak lightly. 
 
 Margaret sniffed. 
 
 “ I’m sure he would have wished the child to have 
 more country air,” she said. She had started on 
 a most unfortunate topic, the management of 
 Claude, Mrs. Gaythorne’s only child. Lettice 
 always grew ruffled and Margaret grew rude at these 
 moments. 
 
 “ I sometimes lie awake in Camberwell Road ” 
 
 “Not in the road,” murmured Lettice. 
 
 Margaret flashed a steely glance at her provok- 
 ingly pretty sister-in-law. 
 
 “In No. 877 Camberwell Road,” she said em- 
 phatically, “I lie awake thinking of the life you 
 lead here ” 
 
 “It’s a very convenient flat, Margaret. Just a 
 little difficult when we are short of a butler. But 
 I’ve advertised and got several letters already.” 
 
 “H’m. Well, as I say, I think it’s ruination 
 for the child to be here ” 
 
 “He goes down to the cottage at Rushmere 
 nearly every month,” said Lettice, trying to be 
 calm. 
 
 “What’s that! A mere week-end! Yes, it’s 
 ruination for him, for you.” 
 
94 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “For me, Margaret? ” 
 
 Lettice rose to her feet indignantly. 
 
 “ What would Eustace have said to your fritter- 
 ing away your life here giving dinner-parties, 
 gadding about from day to day, neglecting your 
 boy’s education? ” 
 
 Lettice, thinking of her struggle with Claude 
 over a sum that morning, smiled bitterly. 
 
 “ You have changed,” said Margaret. “ Oh, it’s 
 not pleasant for me to have to tell you the truth, 
 but I thought it out and knew it to be my duty, 
 so came on purpose to say my say. You cut me 
 short last time, you remember,” she said. 
 
 “Go on,” said Lettice. 
 
 “Well, I say that you have changed. Even in 
 your dress. Your hats are much larger than I like. 
 You don’t write to me as you did in the old days. 
 Then you live in London, and Eustace hated town. 
 You can’t deny that.” 
 
 “No,” said Lettice. 
 
 “And you’re not thirty, and you ought, I say 
 you ought to have an elder woman living with you 
 as chaperon. I have no doubt you entertain men ! 
 I quite expected to find that silly young parson 
 who’s infatuated with you, here.” 
 
 “ At eleven o’clock ! My dear Margaret ! ” 
 remonstrated Lettice. “ But you are right. I am 
 expecting him to dinner to-night.” 
 
 She thought of the lonely, spectacled little man 
 and laughed. He was glad to come to a good 
 dinner and a talk about his little fiancee. Margaret 
 no doubt would have objected had she known of the 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 95 
 
 fiancee ; however, Lettice was too much bored to tell 
 her. 
 
 “I thought so,” said the spinster, energetically. 
 4 4 The curate should be at some meeting, not sit- 
 ting over luxurious food. And why don’t you 
 try and do some good, Lettice? You’re utterly 
 selfish.” 
 
 Lettice glanced at a letter on her bureau which 
 contained the money for shipping a whole poor 
 family to Canada to begin life again, but said 
 nothing. 
 
 Margaret’s voice poured on. . • . 
 
 “ I believe I will go now,” said Miss Gaythorne. 
 
 It was now five o’clock. She had enjoyed a 
 delicious tea in spite of herself, insisting on putting 
 a cake in a paper bag to take back to a poor woman 
 in Camberwell. Lettice had nearly lost her temper 
 more than once through the interminable day. 
 Even Claude had not been a success. His clothing 
 was wickedly thin and all wrong, and the nursery was 
 not ventilated properly. 
 
 “Yes, I will go,” said Margaret, while Lettice 
 was wondering why such excellent people would be 
 so unprepossessing and interfering. “ I will leave 
 you to your selfish life while ” 
 
 “ While you go to your noble one,” supplemented 
 Lettice. 
 
 Margaret heaved a sigh. “ I do know the mean- 
 ing of self-denial,” she said. “ Well, good-bye, 
 Lettice.” 
 
 “ You won’t stay and meet Mr. Littleton? 99 
 
96 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ Not without a proper chaperon/’ frigidly 
 responded the spinster, “ Good-bye.” 
 
 “ If she could only know Mr. Littleton,” thought 
 Lettice, merrily. The sound of the door banging 
 behind Margaret made her feel distinctly cheerful. 
 She ran into her boy’s nursery and caught him in 
 her arms. 
 
 “ Come, darling, let us dance! Turn on the 
 gramophone.” 
 
 The gramophone played “ Merry Mokes,” and 
 Lettice and her little boy whirled round together, 
 the child leaping with joy. 
 
 “ Aunt Margaret corned in to see me when you 
 wasn’t there and told me I ought to do more lessons 
 and go to school, and I don’t want to,” he said. 
 “ And she asked if I said my prayers.” 
 
 “Never mind, my sweet. I think I will put you 
 to bed myself to-night ! ” 
 
 “ Oh, darling mummy, will you really?” He 
 pranced and kicked with delight. 
 
 Later, when he was in bed, with his rosy cheek 
 on the downy pillow, he asked sleepily : 
 
 “ I needn’t ever go and live with Aunt Maggie, 
 need I, mummy? ” 
 
 “No, sweetheart . ’ ’ 
 
 “ She is so bothering,” said Claude, sighing and 
 resettling himself cosily. 
 
 “ Oh, Margaret,” said Lettice as she went off to 
 dress, “if you only knew what feelings you’ve 
 roused in me. I feel perfectly reckless ! I simply 
 long to shock you. I’d love to elope or commit a 
 murder ! ” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 97 
 
 She gazed at her bright image in the glass and 
 smiled. “ Yes, reckless!” she repeated. So she 
 arranged a theatre party by telephone at once with 
 several people, and woke next morning with the 
 reckless feeling as strong as ever. 
 
 If Margaret Gaythorne had not paid that visit 
 Lord Richard might never have secured his situation. 
 
 Lettice was young, Lettice was pretty, Lettice 
 had never been in love. 
 
 CHAPTER VII 
 
 “ Who can tell 
 
 Of one so dear, so indiscreet, so fair ? ” 
 
 Sicilian Octave. 
 
 “8 Bollinger Terrace, Chelsea,” shouted 
 Lord Richard, as he entered the taxicab. “ Now 
 the die is cast,” he muttered as he looked at his 
 watch. “ In half an hour I should know my fate. 
 It’s Georgie’s fault to begin with, and then it’s 
 Evelyn’s fault, and lastly, above everything, it’s 
 Arthur’s fault for not looking after his lungs 
 properly.” 
 
 The thought of his elder brother brought with 
 it a vein of sadness. Richard pictured him in 
 Davos, wearied by the grinding routine of sana- 
 torium life, still hoping, although everyone knew 
 he could not last out another year. 
 
 D 
 
98 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ I suppose I ought to write and tell him I’m 
 engaged,” he thought. “I can write from Bol- 
 linger Terrace.” 
 
 He wondered if butlers were allowed to write 
 letters, and whether they could use the house note- 
 paper. His immediate future was very vague. He 
 had an idea that he would be taken on at once and 
 without references. 
 
 “ I shan’t disguise myself in any way. They’ll 
 probably be Jews and overeat themselves every 
 night. When they go out I’ll play on their beastly 
 piano. I shall have to talk to the other servants. 
 What on earth shall I talk about? I suppose they 
 know Carter. I shan’t spend a penny; I’ll just eat 
 w'hat I’m given and clean the silver. Six months ! 
 What awful brutes women can be ! Fancy a man 
 telling the girl he w T as going to marry to earn her 
 living for six months. I agree with Tubby. He 
 says that if you take a hundred men and a hundred 
 women half the men are decent chaps and all the 
 women are brutes. It’s wretched the w r ay one 
 grows up and finds other people’s rotten remarks 
 are true. But they are true.” 
 
 He glanced at himself in the mirror. 
 
 “I look all right,” he muttered. “ Quite as 
 good as most butler fellows. I wish I wasn’t quite 
 so tanned. Butlers ought to look pale. I shall 
 be devilish stiff, anyw r ay. Nothing under a guinea 
 in the tip line ! ” 
 
 The taxicab drew up and Lord Richard descended 
 to the pavement. He paid the man and turned to 
 look at the house. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 99 
 
 “ Hullo, flats! ” he exclaimed. He went up the 
 steps and stared at the name board inside the 
 hall. 
 
 “ L. G.,” he murmured. “I’ll wager the L 
 stands for Levy and G for Jonah.” 
 
 His eye fell on number twelve and he whistled. 
 
 “Mrs. Lettice Gaythorne!” he exclaimed, 
 “ Who the dickens is she? ” 
 
 He repeated the name several times and then 
 shook his head. 
 
 “No good! ” he said. “I thought I’d heard 
 the name before somewhere. Well, here goes. 
 She’s certain to be ugly, anyway. She’s got such 
 a pretty name.” 
 
 He mounted the first flight of steps. 
 
 “Besides,” he muttered savagely, “what the 
 deuce does it matter? I’m engaged — engaged — 
 engaged to . . .” — for the moment he had almost 
 forgotten the name — “ to a girl called Evelyn 
 Lovejoy ! ” 
 
 He ascended the next flight. 
 
 “ What on earth does a woman want with a 
 butler? ” he asked himself. He paused irresolutely. 
 “Nice flats, at any rate,” he reflected, eyeing the 
 doors. “I suppose this is where she lives.” He 
 fumbled in his pocket for the advertisement and 
 unfolded it. 
 
 “ { Capable butler of gentlemanly appear- 
 ance,’ ” he read. “I’ll do, but I feel in rather 
 a panic.” 
 
 He stretched out his hand to ring the bell. 
 Before he could do so the door opened and he saw 
 
100 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 a woman standing in the dark hall. She was 
 fastening her gloves. In one hand she held a gold 
 card-case. She stepped out, smiling, and looked 
 at him inquiringly. For a moment Lord Richard 
 stared as if fascinated. Then he held out the 
 advertisement. 
 
 “I’ve called about this,” he stammered. 
 
 She looked at it and smiled again. 
 
 “Oh, yes,” she said, “I am Mrs. Gaythorne. 
 Do you know of anyone who would suit? ” 
 
 Her voice was musical and her attitude most 
 engaging. 
 
 He repressed his emotions sternly. 
 
 “ I called to see whether I would do for the 
 place,” he said as calmly as possible. “You 
 haven’t filled it up yet, have you?” he inquired 
 anxiously. 
 
 She stared for a moment. She recognised him 
 as Lord Richard Sandridge. She had seen his 
 photograph often in Lady Stivetheback’s drawing- 
 room. 
 
 “Oh, no, not yet,” she replied slowly. “Will 
 you please come inside? ” 
 
 He followed her into the flat and cast an appreci- 
 ative glance around. Everything was charmingly 
 arranged. She led the way into the drawing-room, 
 and then, with an almost imperceptible gesture of 
 apology, changed her mind and passed into the 
 dining-room. She sat down at the table and looked 
 at him gravely. 
 
 He deposited his hat and stick on the floor and 
 took a chair. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 101 
 
 “ This is a very jolly little place you’ve got here,” 
 he said. 
 
 “ Yes. I am only here for a short time.” 
 
 “How long? ” he asked with a tone of anxiety. 
 
 “Until the end of the year — about six months.” 
 
 He uttered an exclamation of delight. 
 
 “I’m so glad,” he said warmly. “That’ll suit 
 me down to the ground.” 
 
 She studied him for a moment. Then she looked 
 down her straight little nose and compressed her 
 lips. 
 
 “You wish to apply for the position of butler? ” 
 she asked, rising carelessly and going to the mantel- 
 piece. She took up a sheaf of letters. “I’ve had 
 a great many applications this morning, and several 
 have called — like you. I can’t say that I have 
 exactly filled up the place yet, but I practically 
 made up my mind this morning. What are your 
 special qualifications for the post? ” She spoke in 
 crisp, business-like tones. 
 
 “ Well, 1 didn’t take my degree, you know, but 
 I got through the Little-go all right,” said Lord 
 Richard, guardedly. 
 
 Mrs. Lettice Gaythorne turned towards the 
 mantelpiece for a moment. He admired the studied 
 composure of her back. 
 
 “ I see,” she said. “ May I ask if you have been 
 in service before?” 
 
 “Not very much,” said Lord Richard, carefully. 
 
 “ You mean . . . ? ” 
 
 “ Well, hardly at all, now I come to think of 
 it.” 
 
102 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “In other words, you haven’t acted as butler 
 before? ” Her tones were once more brisk. She 
 had turned and faced him. He had risen also, 
 seeing that she was standing. 
 
 “Not as butler,” replied Lord Richard. 
 
 “ As footman ? ” 
 
 “Well, I can hardly say I’ve been much of a 
 footman.” 
 
 “What experience have you had, then? ” 
 
 “I’ve had a lot of experience,” he replied 
 moodily. “ I’ve been through a tremendous lot — 
 more than most fellows of my age.” 
 
 “What is your age? ” 
 
 He looked rather astonished. 
 
 “ It is very important to know the age of one’s 
 servants, now that the Compensation Act is in 
 force,” she explained. 
 
 “Oh, yes. I’d forgotten that. It’s a rotten 
 act, isn’t it? ” 
 
 She shrugged her pretty shoulders. “ I must 
 know your age,” she persisted. 
 
 “ Thirty-two.” 
 
 She nodded and sat down again, bending her 
 head over the sheaf of letters. He sat down also. 
 He wondered how old she was. 
 
 “Under thirty,” he muttered. 
 
 She looked up unconcernedly. 
 
 “I beg your pardon? ” He looked slightly con- 
 fused and she went on, “ Here is a letter from the 
 man I thought of taking. In the first place, he’s 
 acted as butler in two houses before — at Lady 
 Glendilly’s and 99 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 103 
 
 “Oh, she’s an old crank,” interposed Lord 
 Richard. “And she’s as poor as a church mouse. 
 There’s nothing in that.” 
 
 “ ... and at the Cheviot-Greens’ place in 
 Somersetshire. He was four years in the last place. 
 He only left because they had to cut down their 
 expenditure.” 
 
 “ Yes. Old Cheviot-Green backed his own stable 
 till he had scarcely a shirt on his back. Rough 
 luck on the daughters. Do you know them? ” 
 “I’ve met them.” 
 
 “ Let me see, that would be old Stoker, wouldn’t it ? 
 He was a very decent butler, but slow — very slow.” 
 She glanced at the bottom of the page. 
 
 “Yes. Stoker is the name he gives.” 
 
 “Don’t you take him,” advised Lord Richard. 
 “ He’s the sort of man who gets very easily mixed 
 and brings in the ice pudding with lighted brandy 
 round it, and gives you neat whisky instead of 
 sherry. Besides, he’s well over eighty.” 
 
 “He says he is forty-five and unmarried.” 
 
 “ Don’t you believe him, Mrs. Gaythorne. H^’s 
 more probably ninety.” 
 
 “That’s rather old for a butler,” reflected Mrs. 
 Gaythorne. “ I would rather have someone 
 younger.” 
 
 “ Of course,” exclaimed Lord Richard. “ Thirty- 
 two is just the right age.” 
 
 Mrs. Lettice Gaythorne laid the letters on the 
 table and pressed a neatly-gloved hand meditatively 
 on them. 
 
 “ My husband, when he was alive, used to be 
 
104 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 very particular about the men he employed in the 
 house,” she said. “ He used to make inquiries into 
 every detail. By the way, what is your religious 
 faith?” 
 
 “Oh, the usual thing.” 
 
 “What do you mean by that? ” 
 
 Lord Richard was perplexed for a moment. 
 Then he brightened. 
 
 “The church where they sing the psalms — not 
 just talk them, you know.” 
 
 “ Church of England, in other words? ” 
 
 “That’s it.” 
 
 She nodded again and, taking out a gold pencil- 
 case, made a note on a sheet of paper. Then she 
 put the pencil between her lips and seemed to 
 ponder. 
 
 “ Are you married? ” 
 
 “No.” 
 
 “ How much are you accustomed to drink every 
 day?” 
 
 Lord Richard smiled pleasantly. 
 
 “Oh, not very much.” 
 
 “Beer? ” 
 
 He started. “I don’t care much for beer,” he 
 said hesitatingly. 
 
 “ What are you in the habit of drinking? ” 
 
 “Oh, anything.” 
 
 “ Lemonade? ” 
 
 Lord Richard moved in his chair. 
 
 “ Yes — if you like. What do you usually take? ” 
 Mrs. Gaythorne laughed slightly. Then she 
 looked grave again. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 105 
 
 “I usually take lemonade,” she replied. “Are 
 you an early riser? ” 
 
 “Not very,” he admitted. “Tubby — Mr. Ban- 
 nister, you know — says it’s so disfiguring. But, of 
 course,” he added politely, “I should rise just 
 whenever you liked.” 
 
 He looked at her anxiously. She bent her head 
 over the sheet of paper. He liked her black hat, 
 trimmed with large chiffon bows. 
 
 “I should require you to get up at six-thirty,” 
 she said. “Of course — I do not know yet whether 
 you will suit. You must prove yourself capable 
 of performing your duties first. There are only 
 two of us, my son and I. By the way, you noticed 
 how I worded my advertisement? My reason for 
 that was to find someone to take out my little son 
 Claude in the afternoons. I object very much to 
 nursemaids of any sort. I look after him myself 
 in the mornings. But in the afternoon, when I am 
 out, I would like him to be in the company of a 
 man. You understand? ” 
 
 “Perfectly,” asserted Lord Richard. “How 
 old is the little fellow? ” 
 
 “Claude is seven years old.” 
 
 “Just the right age,” said Richard, enthusi- 
 astically. “ They’re a nuisance when they are 
 younger. I’ll take him to the Exhibition to- 
 morrow.” 
 
 “You are a trifle previous,” said Mrs. Gay- 
 thorne, coldly. 
 
 “ I beg your pardon. I forgot. But don’t you 
 think I’ll do all right? ” 
 
106 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne would not commit herself. She 
 took up her pencil once more. 
 
 “ Are you industrious, willing and honest? ” 
 
 “I am all these things,” replied Lord Richard 
 after reflection. 
 
 “Now we come to the difficult question of the 
 evening out. I suppose you do not expect more 
 than one evening out a week ? ” 
 
 “No, no! ” exclaimed Richard. “I don’t want 
 an evening out. Keep me at home every evening, 
 please.” 
 
 “You can please yourself whether you take it or 
 not. You can consider Wednesday evening your 
 own. If you do not wish to go out you can stay 
 here.” 
 
 “Thanks very much,” said Lord Richard, fer- 
 vently. “I’d rather stay here if I’m not in your 
 way.” 
 
 She looked at him in surprise. 
 
 “Why should you be in my way? ” she asked. 
 
 “ I can sit in here if you’re in the drawing-room,” 
 he explained. 
 
 “You’ll have your own room to sit in,” she said 
 severely. 
 
 “Oh, yes, of course,” he said, crestfallen. “I 
 keep on forgetting.” 
 
 “ Is your memory bad ? ” 
 
 “ Atrocious.” 
 
 “That’s rather against you, surely? ” 
 
 He admitted that it was. It occurred to him 
 that he might now ask her a question. 
 
 “How many servants do you keep?” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 107 
 
 “Two and a page, who is ill just now,” she said. 
 
 Lord Richard nodded thoughtfully. 
 
 “ What are they like? ” he asked. 
 
 “I am quite satisfied with them.” 
 
 “ What do they talk about as a rule? 99 
 
 “I’m afraid I don’t know.” 
 
 “Do you think they’ll be easy to get on with? ” 
 
 “I think so.” 
 
 He sighed with relief. 
 
 “I’ve been worrying about that rather,” he said. 
 “But I’ll take your word for it.” 
 
 She rose suddenly. 
 
 “I’ll be back in a moment,” she said. He 
 hastened to open the door for her. 
 
 Left to himself, Richard walked slowly round 
 the room. He noticed from the size of the furni- 
 ture that it had been meant for a larger room, and 
 deduced that Mrs. Lettice Gaythorne had either 
 known days of greater prosperity or that she was 
 staying in town before moving into a house. There 
 was only one photograph on the mantelpiece. It 
 was of an elderly man with a white beard. “The 
 late Gaythorne,” Richard guessed rightly. He 
 went to the sideboard and eyed the silver that 
 stood glittering upon it. 
 
 “I shall have to clean the stuff with methylated 
 spirits or something,” he muttered. He examined 
 the crest on a silver mug for a moment. Then he 
 sat down again. 
 
 He did not feel as depressed as when he had 
 entered the flat. For some reason, which he was 
 not conscious of, his spirits had risen. A book- 
 
108 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 case near the window arrested his attention and 
 he went to look at its contents. His eye ran over 
 the titles of the books. 
 
 “No essays I” he exclaimed. “Nothing but 
 novels and plays ! ” A thought suddenly struck 
 him. “She can’t be an actress?” He recalled 
 the picture of Mrs. Gaythorne seated by the table 
 looking seriously at him. He came to the con- 
 elusion that she was not an actress. “ Women can 
 be pretty without being actresses,” he reflected. 
 “She’s quite pretty. I suppose it’s all right. I 
 wonder what the kiddie is like. I should think 
 he’s rather a decent little chap. I can’t imagine 
 her spoiling anyone. I wonder if she’ll have me? 
 She was rather down on me about sittin’ in the 
 dining-room at night.” 
 
 When Mrs. Gaythorne entered again Lord 
 Richard was staring out of the window, with his 
 hands thrust deeply into his pockets. 
 
 She walked up to the table. 
 
 “ I suppose you have not any sort of reference 
 with you?” she asked. “You must excuse me 
 being particular about details of that sort, but 
 nowadays one has to be very careful about 
 servants.” 
 
 “Yes,” he agreed. “You can’t be too careful. 
 I remember when I ” 
 
 She interrupted him. 
 
 “Have you got any references? ” 
 
 “I’m afraid not. Shall I get some? ” 
 
 “ Where could you get them from ? ” 
 
 “ Oh, my sister would give me one. I suppose. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 109 
 
 and then there is Tubby — Mr. Bannister, you know 
 — who would be quite willing to say a word in my 
 favour.’ ’ 
 
 She appeared to consider the question. 
 
 “It doesn’t matter,” she said at length. 
 
 She occupied herself with the buttons of her 
 glove. Her expression, which he found attractive, 
 was one of absorption in her task. He watched 
 her with interest. She was of medium height, 
 and wore a gauzy black dress, with a string of 
 pearls round her neck. There was a slight 
 colour in her cheeks. He felt curious as to the 
 colour of her eyes, which were shaded by the dark 
 lashes. 
 
 He coughed. 
 
 She looked up. 
 
 He saw that her eyes were soft grey. She 
 looked away at once and continued her task. Then 
 she swept her skirt round and sat down. 
 
 “I think you may possibly suit,” she said in a 
 deliberate voice. 
 
 “Oh, thank you, Mrs. Gaythorne ! ” 
 
 She held up her hand to stop him. 
 
 “ I propose to take you on trial for a short time. 
 When can you come? ” 
 
 “ Any time,” he said eagerly. “ I can stay now, 
 if you like.” 
 
 “ Are your clothes here? ” 
 
 He made an exclamation of annoyance. He had 
 forgotten all about his clothes. 
 
 “I can send a note to my man and he’ll send 
 them round.” 
 
110 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “No,” she said, “I think it would be best if 
 you came to-morrow, in the afternoon. I have a 
 friend coming to dine to-morrow, so I trust you will 
 do your best and not make any mistakes. Would 
 you care to see your quarters? ” 
 
 “Thank you,” he said, taking up his hat and 
 stick. She led the way out into the hall and then 
 paused. He was standing close beside her. 
 
 “By the way,” she said carelessly, “I don't 
 think you mentioned your name.” 
 
 “Sandridge,” he said. “Lord Richard Sand- 
 ridge.” 
 
 “Thank you,” she said unconcernedly. She 
 had known it all the time. She went down the 
 hall and turned up a small passage. 
 
 “This wdll be your room,” she said, opening a 
 door. “This is the only room in the passage. 
 The other servants are at the opposite end of the 
 flat.” 
 
 He glanced into the small room. 
 
 “Capital! ” he exclaimed. “I shall be awfully 
 snug in here.” 
 
 “I hope so,” she replied simply. “I’m afraid 
 they haven’t put the electric light in here for some 
 reason. You can have a lamp or a candle, as yon 
 prefer. A candle is safer. Do you read at 
 
 nights ? ” 
 
 “Not usually, but I’ve got a book of Essays 
 that I’ve promised someone I would read, so I shall 
 have to. I suppose I shall be busy all day? 
 
 She smiled faintly. “Oh, the work won’t be 
 very hard. I’m rather particular about cleanli- 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 111 
 
 ness. But I can explain the other matters to- 
 morrow. By the way, I suppose you have evening 
 dress ? ” 
 
 “Yes,” said Lord Richard, humbly. 
 
 “ I prefer you to wear a black tie with your tail 
 coat,” said Mrs. Gaythorne. 
 
 “Oh, hang it, I can’t do that!” exclaimed 
 Richard, in genuine indignation. “It’s beastly 
 bad form, you know.” 
 
 She looked at him steadily and relented. “ Very 
 well. As you please. Would you like to see the 
 pantry? ” 
 
 “ Oh, never mind. Are you sure I’m not keep- 
 ing you, Mrs. Ga} r thorne? I know you’re simply 
 dying to get out.” 
 
 She compressed her lips and shook her head. 
 
 They went into the hall again. Mrs. Gaythorne 
 picked up her card-case, which lay on a table. 
 
 “Oh, there’s one thing more. I shall require 
 you to be overhauled by my doctor to make certain 
 }'OU are sound. I can’t have invalid servants in 
 the house. Can you go round and see him and get 
 a certificate from him some time before to-morrow 
 afternoon? ” 
 
 “Certainly. What’s his name? ” 
 
 “ Sippleth waite,” said Mrs. Gaythorne. 
 
 Lord Richard drew a deep breath. 
 
 “Yes — all right,” he said, “I’ll go and see 
 him.” 
 
 “ He lives in Lancaster Square — number sixty. 
 Just mention my name and have the fee charged 
 to my account.” She moved away. “I think 
 
112 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 that is all. I shall expect you round early in the 
 afternoon. 95 He saw that he was expected to go. 
 She took no notice of his outstretched hand. He 
 dropped it and took a step towards the front door. 
 
 “Oh, that reminds me, 55 she said. “I shall call 
 you Richard. Or would you prefer Sandridge? 55 
 
 “Richard, 59 he said hastily. 
 
 She nodded in a matter-of-fact way. 
 
 “ Very well. Please do not forget to call me 
 madam when you address me. 95 She spoke in an 
 almost inhumanly indifferent voice and turned away. 
 He stood gazing at her, with a spot of colour in 
 either cheek. 
 
 “ Very well, madam," he said. 
 
 “Thank you. Good day." 
 
 “Good day!" said Lord Richard, savagely. 
 He opened the door and passed out onto the land- 
 ing. 
 
 “ What brutes women are ! " he exclaimed. 
 
 Then he paused. “ Gad, she never mentioned 
 what my salary is going to be ! " 
 
 Without a momenta hesitation he rang the bell. 
 Mrs. Gaythorne opened the door herself. 
 
 “Excuse me, madam," said Lord Richard, 
 stiffly, “ but may I inquire what salary you propose 
 to give me? " 
 
 She seemed to find the top of her card-case 
 interesting. 
 
 “Three pounds a month." 
 
 “Make it guineas," said Lord Richard, w r ith an 
 effrontery which surprised and afterwards pained 
 him. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 113 
 
 She looked up calmly. “No. Pm afraid that’s 
 too much.” He saw her grey eyes, and took off 
 his hat instantly. “ Really, I beg your pardon, 
 Mrs. Gaythorne,” he said, “I didn’t think what I 
 was saying. Three pounds a month is quite enough. 
 Good day — madam.* 
 
 CHAPTER VIII 
 
 44 Fortune, little jade, 
 
 Do you think to fright me ? 
 
 Learn, oh tricksey maid, 
 
 That your pranks delight me.” 
 
 Lady Fortune . 
 
 Richard walked swiftly home and gave Carter 
 orders to pack as many things as would go into 
 six suit-cases, two hat-boxes, one kit-bag, two boot- 
 bags and a couple of cabin trunks. He decided to 
 take also a gun-case and a brace of salmon rods. 
 
 “I don’t suppose there’ll be much sport in Bol- 
 linger Terrace,” he muttered. “But she might go 
 visiting later on and take me along with her, and 
 then they would come in handy.” 
 
 While Carter was packing Lord Richard passed 
 the time in asking him unusual questions. 
 
 “ What do you consider a good method of lay- 
 ing a table for two, Carter? What I mean to say 
 is, how would you set about it? I suppose you’d 
 lay the cloth first, eh? ” 
 
114 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ Yes, my lord. That is the usual way.” 
 
 “ Would you remove the ordinary tablecloth? ” 
 “ Only in certain cases, my lord.” 
 
 “ In what cases ? ” 
 
 “ When the cloth is very thick and heavy, or 
 ’angs too low, my lord, and in all cases when it’s 
 valuable and would spoil with spilling things onto 
 it. Then you would use a special under-cloth.” 
 
 “ Simply a question of common sense? ” said Lord 
 Richard, airily. 
 
 “Yes,” said Carter, folding a pair of buckskin 
 riding-breeches with great care. His master became 
 preoccupied. 
 
 “Then you’d put a lot of flower-pots in the 
 centre, wouldn’t you? ” he asked. 
 
 “Well, not flower-pots, my lord. Vases with 
 flowers is more suitable.” 
 
 “What sort of flowers would you use, Carter? ” 
 “Well, the last table I decorated for you, my 
 lord — that night when Mr. Bannister brought them 
 two young ladies from the Gaiety Theatre and 
 you mistook the plumber for the Marquis, my 
 lord ” 
 
 “I remember,” said Richard, with a wave of his 
 hand. 
 
 “ On that night, my lord, I did your table with 
 yellow tulips and black ribbon. If your lordship 
 will call to mind, there was ballet-girl menu-cards, 
 what your lordship ordered from the Arcade, with 
 yellow paper skirts and black stockings.” 
 
 “ I remember, Carter ! A most charming 
 effect ! ” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 115 
 
 ‘ ‘ Thank you, my lord.” 
 
 “ Mr. Bannister ordered them, Carter,” said Lord 
 Richard, blandly. 
 
 “ Yes, my lord.” 
 
 “I never go to the Arcade, Carter.” 
 
 “No, my lord.” 
 
 “ And now I come to think of it, it was Mr. 
 Bannister who made the mistake about the 
 plumber.” 
 
 “Yes, my lord.” 
 
 “ By the way, Carter, what did we do that 
 night ? My memory is atrocious. I have often 
 wondered.” 
 
 “Your lordship made a speech.” 
 
 “Really, Carter? ” 
 
 “Your lordship spoke from the open window. 
 There was quite a big crowd in the square. Your 
 lordship spoke for ten minutes, and begging pardon, 
 you made a very amusing speech. It made the 
 crowd laugh, my lord.” 
 
 “Did it really, Carter?” exclaimed Lord 
 Richard. “What was it about?” 
 
 “ Your lordship spoke on the subject of the North 
 Pole, which your lordship assured the crowd you 
 had discovered. When you ’ad finished you said 
 that you would show them what you ’ad found 
 there, and then your lordship tied Mr. Bannister 
 up with a piece of rope, which the plumber brought 
 with him, and lowered him from the window. Mr. 
 Bannister was very amusing, my lord. He recounted 
 his story about them serpents of Brazil. ’E wae 
 upside down, my lord.” 
 
116 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “Good heavens I” murmured Lord Richard. 
 “How long did he hang there? ” 
 
 “ The young ladies pulled him up while your 
 lordship was engaged in playing the Dead March 
 on the piano, 55 replied Carter. “Mr. Bannister 
 was quite uninjured, and on bein 5 released he in- 
 sisted on playing the part of 5 Amlet, which 5 ee 
 happened to know, using your tobacco jar as a 
 skull, my lord, with the two young ladies as grave- 
 diggers, and yourself accompanying the 5 ole with 
 Choping’s March, my lord. Very effective it was, 
 too, with me and the plumber looking on. Mr. 
 Bannister and one of the young ladies couldn’t 
 5 elp crying, and they sat in a corner dabbing each 
 other’s eyes with a serviette, while your lordship 
 and the other young lady played ‘ Love’s Golden 
 Dream is O’er ’ as a duet on the piano, which 
 greatly affected the plumber, my lord, the last 
 time he had heard it bein’ on a steamer outside 
 Margate in a thunderstorm, when ’ee was with his 
 girl, and most of the bandsmen ’aving to give up 
 through sickness, and the ’ole boat being terrified 
 by the lightning.” 
 
 “I hope the plumber enjoyed the evening, 
 Carter? ” 
 
 “Yes, my lord. He ’ad come round to fit that 
 shower-bath which your lordship was in such a 
 hurry about— you always are in a ’urry, begging 
 pardon, when you decides to have anything — and 
 ’e went away ’aving done nothing but turn off the 
 water at the main, leading to trouble next morning, 
 my lord.” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 117 
 
 Carter continued to line Lord Richard’s suit-cases 
 with every variety of clothing. His master lay back 
 in a chair gazing at the ceiling. 
 
 “May I ask your lordship how long you intend 
 to be away? ” 
 
 “Six months, Carter. Tell everyone that I’m 
 off to Australia.” 
 
 “ Very good, my lord. And will you be sleeping 
 here while you’re in Australia, my lord? ” 
 
 “No, Carter. It’s just conceivable I may come 
 round once or twice. I’ll let you know. Keep up 
 the Australian tale, especially to Mr. Bannister.” 
 
 “ Very good, my lord. Shall I tell the tradesmen 
 to send their bills to Australia? ” 
 
 “By Jove, Carter, that’s a first-rate idea. Why 
 didn’t you think of it before? Tell ’em to send 
 them to Poste Restante, Australia.” 
 
 “ Very good, my lord. In the meantime, may 
 I suggest to your lordship that you open accounts 
 at other shops? If they was to see youi lordship 
 in their shops, and I was to tell them you were in 
 Australia, they might doubt my word.” 
 
 “Oh, I shan’t be buying anything, Carter. I 
 shall only want a few odds and ends, like methylated 
 spirits and starch and that sort of thing.” 
 
 “Yes, my lord ! And where shall your private 
 letters go? ” 
 
 “To my club, Carter.” 
 
 The imperturbable Carter continued packing. 
 Lord Richard, feeling something bulky in his 
 pocket, pulled out the photograph of Evelyn Love- 
 joy and stared at it gloomily. With sombre eyes 
 
118 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 he traced the lines of her features, seeing each in 
 the chill light of actuality without any warm illusion 
 of romance to enrich the cold face and make it smile 
 at him from the elaborate cardboard mount. He 
 felt almost inclined to abandon the whole insane 
 scheme and set out in earnest for Australia. Then 
 he remembered his banking account, and knew it 
 was an impossible plan. Recently his bankers had 
 been chary about overdrafts. 
 
 He handed the photograph to Carter. 
 
 “Pack it,” he said shortly. 
 
 “Yes, my lord.” Then, after a pause, Carter 
 added, “Shall I pack any of the photographs on 
 the mantelpiece? ” 
 
 Lord Richard let his eyes travel over the wide 
 assortment of smiling faces, flashing teeth and 
 tempting lips that were collected together above 
 the fireplace. 
 
 “No,” he said. 
 
 Carter left the room to lay the table for dinner. 
 Lord Richard went into the bathroom and had a 
 bath, and then dressed and sat down at his piano. 
 On the top of the piano were one or two pretty 
 little water-colours of hunting scenes which he had 
 painted himself. He looked at them critically as 
 he composed a pathetic melody which suited his 
 thought. Carter flitted noiselessly about. 
 
 Richard was thinking of Mrs. Lettice Gaythorne, 
 and when he remembered the w ay he had bartered 
 for a better wage an uncomfortable sense of shame 
 crept over him, through which he saw her soft grey 
 eyes looking quietly at him. What did she think ? 
 — probably that he was mad, reflected Richard. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 119 
 
 After all, she was right. He was mad. Women 
 had driven him mad with their brutal methods. 
 Mrs. Gaythorne had not really been so very brutal. 
 It was only natural that he should have to call her 
 madam, and her request that he should wear a black 
 tie and tail coat was not so unreasonable. Some 
 people insisted on it as a distinguishing mark. He 
 saw once again the little room with the iron bed- 
 stead in which he was to spend his six months’ 
 bondage, and pictured himself surrounded by his 
 luggage, reading the volume of essays by the light 
 of a solitary candle. 
 
 “ I wonder who is going to call me at six-thirty ? ” 
 he thought. Then it occurred to him that he would 
 have to rouse himself, and he decided to buy an 
 alarum clock without delay. 
 
 He ceased playing and sat silently at the piano. 
 Never before had his heart been so exercised with 
 thoughts of matrimony, and now that its latent 
 feelings had been roused by so much feminine brutal- 
 ity he knew that it ached for a true love, in which 
 he might allow his whole mind and being to be 
 absorbed. He began to pace restlessly about the 
 room with downcast eyes. 
 
 At that moment he heard voices sounding in the 
 hall without. 
 
 “No, sir. Lord Richard is not at home, sir.” 
 
 “Then where is he, Carter? ” said the voice ©f 
 Tubby. 
 
 “He has gone to Australia, sir.” 
 
 “ Australia ! ” Tubby’s tones were filled with 
 suspicion. 
 
 “ What boat did he go by? ” 
 
120 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 64 By the afternoon boat, sir,” was Carter’s firm 
 reply. 
 
 “ My dear Carter, there isn’t an afternoon boat, 
 is there? ” 
 
 6 4 Yes, sir. Three boats a day for Australia, sir. 
 Morning boat, afternoon boat and evening boat, 
 sir. Lord Richard caught the afternoon boat.” 
 
 “ Good heavens, Carter, are you speaking the 
 truth r ” 
 
 “Yes, sir.” 
 
 “Where is Australia, Carter? ” Tubby seemed 
 slightly bewildered. 
 
 “ It is some little distance away, sir. I believe 
 it is an hisland, sir, surrounded on all sides by 
 water. The climate is equable, sir.” 
 
 “ That’s what I thought too ! ” There was 
 another pause. “ I shall come in and smoke a 
 cigarette, Carter.” 
 
 “ His lordship gave strict injunctions that his 
 rooms were not to be disturbed, sir.” 
 
 “ Oh, but that’s all nonsense, Carter. He 
 couldn’t possibly object to me smoking a cigarette 
 in here.” Tubby’s voice grew louder. He drove 
 Carter before him down the hall. Hearing his 
 determined approach Lord Richard lost no time 
 in getting under the table, and just managed to 
 hide himself when Tubbj^ entered. 
 
 “ Hullo,” said Mr. Bannister. “ Dinner for one ! 
 Who is that for, Carter? ” 
 
 Carter, napkin in hand, brushed some imaginary 
 crumbs from the table, and wondered what had 
 become of his master. He did not reply. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 121 
 
 “Very well,” said Tubby. “I shall remain 
 here until I find out who is going to eat that 
 dinner, Carter. If no one turns up I shall eat it 
 myself.” 
 
 “Yes, sir.” Carter stood indecisively by the 
 table. Then he jumped suddenly as Lord Richard 
 pressed his toe from under the table. 
 
 “ What’s the matter, Carter? ” asked Tubby. 
 “Nothing, sir.” Carter racked his brains for 
 some excuse to get Mr. Bannister out of the house. 
 
 “Excuse me, sir,” he began. “The dinner is 
 not for Lord Richard. It is for his private secre- 
 tary, who is coming to-night to look over his letters 
 and bills, sir.” 
 
 “Private secretary!” exclaimed Tubby. “I 
 didn’t know he’d got one.” 
 
 “Yes, sir. A young lady.” 
 
 “ Oh ! ” said Tubby. “ This is news. What sort 
 of a young lady, Carter? ” 
 
 “Well, sir, she’s very nervous and sensitive, and 
 begging your pardon, sir, I fancy your presence 
 would greatly upset her.” 
 
 Carter felt his toe pressed violently by his master. 
 He suppressed a look of pain. Tubby looked at him 
 very suspiciously. 
 
 “How long has he employed this young lady? ” 
 he asked. 
 
 “ Off and on for some months, sir. Lord Richard 
 is quite satisfied with her.” 
 
 “Do you mean to tell me that she goes over his 
 private letters, Carter? ” 
 
 “Yes, sir,” replied the servant, impassively. 
 
122 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ She dockets them and puts them in pigeon-holes, 
 sir.” 
 
 “What pigeon-holes ? ” asked Mr. Bannister, 
 looking swiftly round the room. 
 
 “She brings them with her, sir.” 
 
 “ Good heavens, Carter, this is very extra- 
 ordinary ! ” 
 
 “Yes, sir.” 
 
 “You think so too? ” 
 
 “Yes, sir.” 
 
 Tubby smoked reflectively for some time. Then 
 
 he said : 
 
 “ I shall wait till she comes, Carter. I can’t help 
 it if she’s nervous.” 
 
 “It will spoil her appetite.” 
 
 “ I can’t help that. Don’t let me keep you.” 
 '"No, sir.” Carter departed, acknowledging 
 defeat. 
 
 Tubby, reflecting on the tale of the private secre- 
 tary, came to the conclusion that Carter was a liar. 
 He smoked one cigarette and lit another. 
 
 In the meanwhile Lord Richard was in a very 
 uncomfortable position. He began to have pins 
 and needles in his feet and his back began to ache. 
 Mr. Bannister seemed quite contented to remain 
 in his seat for ever. Several minutes passed slowly 
 away and Tubby lit a third cigarette. Outside in 
 the hall Carter stood waiting. He had turned the 
 key to his master’s bedroom so that Tubby could 
 not prowl in there and see the luggage lying about. 
 
 Lord Richard felt he could not endure another 
 minute. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 128 
 
 Tubby, seeing an illustrated weekly, took it up 
 and began turning the pages, humming a gay little 
 tune to himself. 
 
 Lord Richard could contain himself no longer. 
 
 “ Oh, go away, Tubby ! ” he exclaimed, putting 
 out his head from under the tablecloth. 6 6 Haven’t 
 you got anything to do? ” 
 
 4 4 Hullo, Richard, is that you? ” said Tubby, with 
 great equanimity. “ Carter told me you had gone 
 to Australia. Does he know you’ve come back 
 again ? ” 
 
 Richard drew himself out painfully and stood up. 
 “ What a contemptible creature you are ! ” he 
 cried disgustedly. “ Is your life so devoid of interest 
 or purpose that you can spend a whole evening in 
 the rooms of a man whom you know has gone to 
 Australia? It’s a very good thing I didn’t go. If 
 I had you’d have waited here until you turned into 
 a mummy. Tubby, you sicken me 1 I can hardly 
 stand, and I can’t feel my feet.” 
 
 6 6 When is your private secretary coming? ” 
 
 “ Oh, go away ! ” 
 
 66 Is she pretty? ” 
 
 “ Carter’s an ass. But he did his best.” 
 
 “ Carter is a jewel of a liar, Richard. He should 
 never lack emplo 3 >ment! Why haven’t you dis- 
 appeared? ” 
 
 “ I’m going to disappear to-morrow. I made a 
 mistake in the dates. Tubby, I wish with all my 
 heart that you were anywhere but here.” 
 
 Lord Richard spoke so seriously that Mr. Ban- 
 nister rose. “Very well,” he said, “I’ll go. But 
 
1 U LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 before I go I’ll tell you what I think of you. I 
 think you’re playing a low game, Richard. I don’t 
 like it. I shall say nothing in your favour, and if 
 people run you down when you’re gone I shan’t 
 stand up for you. Good-night.” 
 
 Tubby walked in a dignified way out of the room. 
 In the hall he met Carter. He looked at him 
 sternly. 
 
 “ Carter, I’m ashamed of you.” 
 
 Mr. Bannister then made his departure. 
 
 Lord Richard loitered about and finally retired 
 to bed very early. 
 
 “ Don’t give me any dinner, Carter. Bring me 
 something I never have to eat. I’m changed from 
 what I was, so I ought to change my diet.” 
 
 “ Do you feel ill, sir? ” 
 
 “ Rather all overish, Carter,” said his lordship, 
 wearily. 
 
 Carter looked very wise. 
 
 6 4 What are you thinking about? Out with it, 
 Carter.” 
 
 “ I was thinking of what my mother always took 
 when she felt chippy, my lord.” 
 
 “ What was that? ” 
 
 “ A cup of cocoa, sir, and a jam puff.” 
 
 “ Bring them to me, Carter. The least I can do 
 is to follow your excellent mother’s example.” 
 
 In a short time Lord Richard was in bed, propped 
 up by pillows, and was enjoying his unusual fare. 
 
 “ I believe I’m cut out for the simple life, 
 Carter,” he said enthusiastically. “ I quite like 
 a jam puff.” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 125 
 
 “ Yes, sir,” said Carter. “Have another, sir? ” 
 
 “I might,” said Richard. 
 
 Richard thought angrily of his sister. Why 
 should he marry? It was obvious, since he enjoyed 
 eating such cheap things, that he could live on a 
 few shillings a week. 
 
 He closed his eyes and the face of Lettice Gay- 
 thorne came before him. He desired to think 
 affectionately of Evelyn, but he could not. Two 
 soft grey eyes rose before him. A song he had 
 heard rang in his ears : 
 
 “ Grey days are your grey eyes, 
 
 Gold days your hair.” 
 
 “ Oh, Lord, this will never do ! ” he reflected, 
 and leaping out of bed he took hold of a Sandow 
 exerciser hanging on the back of the door and begap 
 to smite the air. 
 
 CHAPTER IX 
 
 “ I am now, at last, behold me 1 
 In the heart of the adventure ! ” 
 
 Far from Home* 
 
 Dr. Herbert Sipplethwaite, at the hour of 
 eleven next morning, was seated in his consulting- 
 room examining his nails. Around him were a large 
 number of medical instruments which, for the most 
 part, were obsolete and useless, but served the 
 
126 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 excellent purpose of impressing his patients. By 
 turning a switch under his writing-desk he could set 
 in motion various electrical devices, whose whirring 
 sounds and sparks and flashes roused sensations of 
 amazement in all the uninitiated. A noise in the 
 street made him look up. 
 
 He saw a four-wheeler, laden with luggage, drive 
 up and stop before his door. Greatly over-joyed, 
 Dr. Sipplethwaite drew a sheet of notepaper to- 
 wards him and began to write a letter to an 
 imaginary person. 
 
 A few moments later a servant announced that 
 Lord Richard Sandridge was in the waiting-room. 
 
 “Show him up in five minutes,” said Dr. Sipple- 
 thwaite. 
 
 The allotted time passed as slowly for Dr. 
 Sipplethwaite as for Lord Richard. 
 
 At length the patient was shown in. 
 
 “Good morning, Lord Richard,” said the doctor 
 in a cordial voice. “I am sorry to have kept you 
 waiting. I am very busy this morning. I see you 
 have a cab with luggage at the door. Going away 
 for a holiday, eh? ” 
 
 “Yes — that’s it, Sipplethwaite. I came to con- 
 sult you. ...” 
 
 Lord Richard paused. 
 
 “Pray sit down,” said the doctor, resuming his 
 seat by the writing-table. 
 
 Lord Richard sat down. 
 
 “ Well, you see, it’s like this.” He paused, until 
 an idea came to the rescue. “ Oh, yes ! ” he ex- 
 claimed. “That’s it. I’ve taken a wager that I 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 127 
 
 am perfectly sound, and I just wanted you to run 
 over me and write down the evidence on a piece of 
 paper — just to prove it, you know.” 
 
 4 4 How about the heart, Lord Richard?” said 
 Dr. Sipplethwaite, with a twinkle in his eye. 
 
 “ Oh, that’s only a joke between you and me. It 
 was awfully decent of you to promise to say I had 
 a weak heart if my father insisted on me going into 
 business. But I’m serious this time.” 
 
 “How much is the wager? ” asked Dr. Sipple- 
 thwaite, blandly. 
 
 “ Oh, it’s for the amount of your fee,” said Lord 
 Richard, with a laugh. He recollected that he had 
 not enough money on him to pay the necessary fee. 
 
 “ Well, let’s get to work ! ” exclaimed Dr. Sipple- 
 thwaite, with a gleam of professional lustre irradiat- 
 ing his thin countenance. “You’ll have to 
 strip.” 
 
 “Pull down the blinds then,” said Richard, 
 anxiously. 
 
 “ Quite unnecessary. That window glass is a 
 special device of mine. You see out but can’t see 
 in. Do you notice the fine linear striation ? That’s 
 the secret. I’m going to patent it.” 
 
 Lord Richard, with occasional glances towards the 
 window, did as he was ordered. 
 
 Dr. Sipplethwaite eyed him critically 
 “Jump! ” he commanded. 
 
 Lord Richard jumped. 
 
 “ Hop round the room ! ” 
 
 Lord Richard hopped. 
 
 “Now the other foot ! ” 
 
128 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 These were followed by other commands, until 
 Lord Richard was gasping for breath. Then Dr. 
 Sipplethwaite arose and took up a wooden stetho- 
 scope. He applied it to Lord Richard’s manly 
 chest. 
 
 “ Is the first sound all right? ” asked Richard, 
 who had heard the Marchioness make the remark 
 before. 
 
 “ Quite all right.” 
 
 “ What does it sound like? 99 asked Lord Richard 
 with childish curiosity. 
 
 “ A dull, booming sound.” 
 
 “ What’s the fourth sound like? 99 
 
 Dr. Sipplethwaite laughed in his cordial manner. 
 
 “ You’ve only got two sounds, Lord Richard,, 
 They’re both normal. No murmurs at all — al- 
 though we have a little humorous saying in the 
 profession that many a heart kills its owner without 
 a murmur — ha I ha 1 ” 
 
 “ I’m sure mine will,” said Richard. 
 
 After Dr. Sipplethwaite had carried out further 
 investigation Richard was allowed to dress again. 
 
 “Well? ” he inquired. 
 
 “ Sound as a bell ! ” 
 
 “Will you write that down on a piece of paper 
 and sign it ? ” 
 
 “ Certainly.” He took a sheet of notepaper. 
 “By the way, where are you off to? 99 
 
 “ Oh, I’m just going for a little holiday.” 
 
 “ Seaside? ” 
 
 “No.” 
 
 Dr. Sipplethwaite nodded gravely. He perceived 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 129 
 
 that Richard was unwilling to say where he was 
 going. 
 
 “I’ve lost my stud,” announced Lord Richard 
 from the corner of the room. 
 
 “ Let me help you to find it.” 
 
 The eminent doctor and Lord Richard crawled 
 about together on the floor, when the door opened 
 and the servant entered. 
 
 “ The cabman wants to know if he’s to wait, sir,” 
 he said, with an insolence which was due to the sight 
 of the two occupants of the consulting-room on the 
 floor. 
 
 “Tell him he’s got to wait,” said Lord Richard. 
 The servant withdrew. “ Oh, here it is 1 It was 
 in my collar all the time.” 
 
 When Lord Richard had dressed he shook hands 
 with the doctor. 
 
 “ Oh, will you send in your account to Mrs. Gay- 
 thorne? ” he said carelessly. “She’s lost her bet 
 this time.” 
 
 Dr. Sipplethwaite was surprised. 
 
 “ Mrs. Gaythorne ! I did not know you knew 
 her.” 
 
 “Oh, yes — we’re old friends.” And taking up 
 the signed declaration Richard departed. 
 
 When he emerged on the pavement he looked at 
 his watch. It was barely twelve o’clock. 
 
 “What on earth can I do? ” he asked himself. 
 “I’m not due till after lunch.” 
 
 “Station, sir? ” suggested the cabman, 
 
 “ No. Drive anywhere you like for half an hour* 
 I’ll tell you when to stop.” 
 
180 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 He clambered in and lit a cigarette. The four- 
 wheeler lurched off in the direction of Pimlico. Lord 
 Richard stared out of the windows. 
 
 After half an hour had passed the cab had pene- 
 trated into a strange district. Lord Richard put 
 his head out of the window. 
 
 “ Stop here ! ” he shouted. 
 
 The cab stopped and Richard got out. 
 
 “ Where are we? ” he demanded. 
 
 “ This is Napoleon Road, sir.” 
 
 “ Did Napoleon live here? ” 
 
 “ Not as I know of.” 
 
 “ I want to get some lunch somewhere,” continued 
 Richard, absently. 
 
 “ There’s an X.Y.Z. over there, sir.” 
 
 4 6 All right. Will you wait ? ” 
 
 The cabman assented suspiciously, and Richard 
 entered the restaurant. 
 
 He sat down at a marble table and looked round. 
 
 “ I’m absolutely exhausted ! ” he murmured. “ I 
 must have some champagne and grilled kidneys.” 
 
 He gave his order to a waitress. After a great 
 deal of discussion and argument Lord Richard found 
 himself eating a couple of poached eggs on toast and 
 a roll and butter. A glass of milk stood at his 
 elbow. His expression was resigned, but he ate 
 steadily. He managed to linger for half an hour 
 in the restaurant; and then, finding the place in- 
 tolerable, he paid his bill and once more entered the 
 cab. 
 
 “ Where to, sir? ” 
 
 Richard looked at his watch. It was one o’clock. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 131 
 
 “ Go back,” he said, “and drive round Hyde 
 Park until it’s two o’clock. Then drive to 8 
 Bollinger Terrace, Chelsea.” 
 
 The cabman, who had got down from his box, 
 closed the door. 
 
 “ 4dl this is going to cost money,” he muttered 
 as he went back to his place. 
 
 Lord Richard, who heard the remark, felt 
 anxiously in his pocket. He had only a few 
 shillings. 
 
 “Mrs. Gaythorne will have to pay,” he sighed. 
 “It’s only right she should pay for unavoidable 
 expenses of a servant.” 
 
 When he found himself in Hyde Park he searched 
 the faces of the passers-by, but there was no one 
 he knew. The Park was almost empty at that 
 hour. The oppressed atmosphere of the interior of 
 the cab, his unappetising lunch and his own deep- 
 seated sorrows combined to make him feel wretched. 
 He thrust his head out of the window. He could 
 stand it no longer. “ Drive to Bollinger Terrace ! ” 
 
 A quarter of an hour later the cab stopped before 
 Mrs. Gaythorne’s flat. 
 
 A ragged man, who had been following the cab 
 throughout the morning through all the bewildering 
 mazes of its journey, and w T as now gasping for 
 breath, offered to carry up the luggage. Richard 
 assented and gave him directions. 
 
 “ How much is all this ? ” he asked. 
 
 “I’ll take a quid,” said the cabman. 
 
 Lord Richard, who never disputed cab fares, 
 looked round helplessly. 
 
132 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 44 You’ll have to wait a moment,” he said, 44 I 
 must go and get change.” 
 
 “I don’t want no change. I said a quid.” 
 
 44 All right. I’ll be down in a moment.” 
 
 Richard ran up the steps and rang the door-bell 
 of Mrs. Gaythorne’s flat. 
 
 A maid opened the door. 
 
 4 4 Is Mrs. Gaythorne in ? ” 
 
 44 Yes, sir. She is at lunch now.” 
 
 44 Will you ask her if she can spare me one 
 minute? I’ll w^ait here. It’s only for a minute.” 
 When Mrs. Gaythorne came out Richard raised 
 his hat. 
 
 44 I’m most awfully sorry to trouble you,” he 
 
 exclaimed, 44 but the fact is that ” 
 
 She interrupted him. 
 
 6 6 You are earlier than I expected. Where’s 
 your luggage? ” 
 
 44 It’s being brought up by a man.” 
 
 44 Very well. How much is your cab fare? Is 
 that w T hat you want? ” 
 
 44 Yes,” stammered Richard, blushing. 
 
 44 How much is it? ” 
 
 44 He wants a pound.” 
 
 44 A pound! ” exclaimed Mrs. Gaythorne, raising 
 her delicate eyebrows. 44 Where have you come 
 from? ” 
 
 Lord Richard tried to think. 
 
 44 Well, we started from my place at eleven and 
 went to see Sipplethwaite. Oh, by the way, 
 I’ve got that certificate. He signed it all right 
 and ” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 133 
 
 “ Please go on. What did you do after 
 that? ” 
 
 “ Then we drove to Napoleon Road and I had 
 some lunch, and then it was only one o’clock, so 
 we went into the Park until I got absolutely fed up, 
 Mrs. Gaythorne, and couldn’t stick it another 
 minute. So I told him to drive here.” 
 
 She looked at her wrist-watch. 
 
 “ It’s five minutes to three. Very well. Here is 
 a pound for him.” 
 
 “ Oh, thanks awfully. I’ll just run down and give 
 it to him.” 
 
 The ragged man appeared, carrying the gun- 
 case, the salmon rods and a hat-box. 
 
 “Here’s some of my luggage,” explained 
 Richard. “I’ll be back in a moment.” 
 
 “Shall I carry it in, mum? ” asked the ragged 
 man. 
 
 “Yes.” Mrs. Gaythorne looked at it for a 
 moment. “In there,” she said in a choked voice 
 as she opened the door of Richard’s bedroom. 
 “Is there any more? ” 
 
 “ Lor’, mum ! There’s ’eaps more.” 
 
 “Very well. Bring it up.” She went hastily 
 down the hall, opened a door and disappeared from 
 view. Mrs. Gaythorne had vanished into her 
 bedroom, and here she lay back in a chair and 
 closed her eyes. Her lips quivered. Then she 
 controlled herself. The faintest smile broke over 
 her face. She rose, looked at herself for a 
 moment in the mirror, and went out into the hall 
 again. 
 
134 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Lord Richard, carrying a couple of calf-hide suit- 
 cases, was standing at the further end. The ragged 
 man, labouring under the weight of an iron-bound 
 cabin trunk, was standing in the landing beyond. 
 
 “ It must go in ! ” Lord Richard was saying. 
 “ There’s plenty of room for it all.” 
 
 They both went into Richard’s bedroom and 
 deposited their loads on the floor. The ragged 
 man came out again and went downstairs for the 
 next lot. 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne hesitated. Then she walked up 
 the hall. 
 
 64 1 hope you’ll find there’s enough room,” she 
 said. “You can stand some bags in the passage 
 if there isn’t.” 
 
 “Oh, I’ll fit them in, Mrs. Gaythorne.” 
 
 He became conscious that she was looking at 
 him. 
 
 “ I mean madam ! ” he said hastily. 
 
 “ Very well. Get unpacked as soon as possible, 
 and then I will show you the pantry.” 
 
 “Yes, madam.” 
 
 “ Do you want a shilling to tip the man? ” 
 
 “Oh, I can manage a shilling, thanks.” 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne went back to the dining-room. 
 
 When all the luggage had been carried in 
 Richard’s bedroom was completely filled up. He 
 looked at it in despair. “ Unpack 1 ” he exclaimed. 
 “How the dickens can I begin? ” 
 
 A voice at the door roused him. 
 
 “You ain’t the new butler?” it said in awe- 
 stricken tones. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 185 
 
 He looked and saw the housemaid staring round- 
 eyed at him. 
 
 “Oh, yes,” he said pleasantly. “ I’m afraid I 
 am. Are you the housemaid? ” 
 
 “Yes.” 
 
 He came forward and shook hands. 
 
 “ I hope we shall get on all right,” he continued. 
 “ What’s your name ? ” 
 
 “ Norah. What’s yours ? ” 
 
 “ Oh, I’m called Richard. I say, Norah, how can 
 I get unpacked? Mrs. Gaythorne said I was to 
 unpack as quickly as possible.” 
 
 “Lor’, this ain’t really your luggage? ” 
 
 “ Yes. I wish it weren’t.” 
 
 “ Save me, but you’ve brought enough, ain’t yer ?” 
 “ Well, I didn’t know quite what sort of clothes 
 I should want, Norah.” 
 
 “I’ll ’elp,” said Norah. “I’ve got a quarter of 
 an hour to spare before I clear away.” 
 
 They started on one of the cabin trunks. 
 
 “But where is it all to go?” exclaimed Lord 
 Richard in despair. “There’s only one chest of 
 drawers.” 
 
 “Leave them trunks,” said Norah, practically, 
 “ and unpack the bags.” 
 
 They unpacked four of the suit-cases and filled 
 the chest of drawers. At intervals Norah uttered 
 exclamations of wonder. “Ridin’ breeches,” she 
 said. “Lor’, what’s them for? ” 
 
 “Doesn’t Mrs. Gaythorne ride? ” 
 
 “But you ain’t going ridin’ with her?” asked 
 Norah, incredulously. 
 
136 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “Oh, I don’t know. She might wish it, you 
 know.” 
 
 Lord Richard was very relieved to find that the 
 housemaid was so willing to be agreeable. When 
 they had finished she looked at him curiously. 
 
 “ What’s brought you to this ? ” she inquired 
 with feminine curiosity. 
 
 He sat down on a trunk and buried his face in 
 his hands. 
 
 “A woman,” he muttered. 
 
 “It’s a cruel shame.” 
 
 “ Of course it is,” said Lord Richard, gratified by 
 her sympathy. 
 
 The sound of an electric bell became audible. 
 
 “ Dining-room,” said Norah briefly, and dis- 
 appeared. 
 
 While Richard had been unpacking Mrs. Gay- 
 thorne had been taking her dessert with her little 
 son Claude. 
 
 “Mummy,” said Claude, who was a charmingly 
 picturesque little person with rather grave habits 
 and a winning smile, “ who was that you were 
 speaking to? ” 
 
 “ That’s the new butler, darling.” 
 
 Claude watched his mother peeling an apple for 
 him. His eyes were thoughtful. His mother 
 seemed rather absent-minded, for she began to eat 
 the apple herself. 
 
 “Is he going to be my new daddy, mummy? ” 
 asked Claude, pensively. 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne laughed merrily. 
 
 “No, darling.” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 137 
 
 “ But you told me that some day I might have a 
 new daddy.” 
 
 His mother looked earnestly at him. 
 
 “ Would you like a new daddy, Claude? ” 
 
 He clapped his hands. “Oh, yes, please, 
 mummy ! 99 Then he added gravely, “ I should like 
 an apple too.” 
 
 “ Oh, my dearest, I am so sorry. I was not 
 thinking.” 
 
 “What is my new daddy going to be like?” 
 asked Claude, after he had got his apple. “ Where 
 will you buy him, mummy? ” 
 
 His mother sighed and stretched her hand across 
 to him. 
 
 “ Which of all the gentlemen whom you know do 
 you like best, darling? ” 
 
 Claude seemed to find the question difficult. He 
 munched his apple and looked before him as he 
 thought of all his mother’s visitors. Mrs. Gay- 
 thorne watched him. 
 
 “ I don’t like any of them enough to be my 
 daddy,” he pronounced at length. 
 
 “ Don’t you like Sir Charles, Claude? ” 
 
 The child shook his head. 
 
 “Not much, mummy.” 
 
 “ But why, my dearest? 99 
 
 Again the child shook his head. 
 
 “I don’t know, mummy. He isn’t going to be 
 my daddy, is he? ” 
 
 “Oh, no, dear,” said Mrs. Gaythorne, quickly. 
 “I don’t think so.” 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne sat toying with her plate. Claude 
 
 E2 
 
138 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 finished his apple, wiped his hands and looked at 
 her. Then he got down from the table and went 
 up to her. His hand stole into hers, 
 t “ Mummy,” he whispered. “ Don’t let’s have a 
 new daddy at all.” 
 
 She put her arms round him and drew him close 
 to her, burying her face in his golden curls. 
 
 “ Why, Claude? ” she murmured. 
 
 “ Because we’re quite happy without one,” said 
 Claude, contentedly. 
 
 “ Are you happy, dear? ” 
 
 “ Yes, mummy. Isn’t you happy too? ” 
 
 “ Yes, darling one. Mummy is quite happy too.” 
 Claude meditated for some time while his mother 
 caressed his curls. Then he said : 
 
 “If we had a new daddy would he take me out 
 riding, mummy, instead of Mr. Smith? ” 
 
 Mr. Smith was Claude’s riding-master. 
 
 “Perhaps, Claude.” 
 
 Claude sighed deeply. “ Never mind, mummy. 
 Mr. Smith doesn’t mean to be so cross. Perhaps a 
 new daddy would be cross too.” 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne rose suddenly. 
 
 “Mr. Smith isn’t too cross with you, Claude. I 
 want you to learn to ride well, and he is a very 
 good master. You’re old enough not to mind if 
 he’s cross.” 
 
 “Yes, mummy,” said the child, submissively. 
 Although he was always humble when his mother 
 spoke to him with a touch of sharpness in her voice, 
 Claude was by no means a child lacking in spirit — 
 often of the most mischievous kind. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 139 
 
 His mother was anxious not to pet him too much, 
 and always ended a scene in which affection had held 
 sway over her by a word of reproof or a sharp 
 command. 
 
 Claude was sent to his nursery and Mrs. Gay- 
 thorne rang the bell for the housemaid. 
 
 44 Send Richard here, please, ” she said. 
 
 Norah hastened on her errand. 
 
 44 Missus wants to see you at once,” she said to 
 Lord Richard, who was still seated on the cabin 
 trunk, sunk in gloomy thought. He rose with 
 alacrity and went into the dining-room. 
 
 44 Have you got that certificate from Dr. Sipple- 
 th waite? ” 
 
 44 Yes, madam. Here it is,” said Richard in his 
 best manner. She glanced over it. 
 
 44 You told him to charge the fee to my 
 account? ” 
 
 44 Yes, madam.” 
 
 She was seated by a writing-table, in the corner 
 of the room. She turned her head towards him for 
 a moment, and decided to administer a reproof. 
 
 44 1 was rather annoyed at having to pay so much 
 for your cab. Don’t you think you might have 
 managed in some other way ? It was surely 
 unnecessary to spend the whole morning seated 
 in a cab at my expense? 99 
 
 44 1 had no idea I had so little on me, madam. 
 Will you please deduct the amount I owe you from 
 my wages?” His voice was very humble. She 
 relented a shade. 
 
 44 1 shall deduct five shillings from your wages. 
 
140 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Richard/ 5 she said reflectively. “I dislike sense- 
 less extravagance/’ 
 
 “Yes, madam,” said Lord Richard. “I quite 
 agree with you.” 
 
 She raised her eyebrows slightly in the manner 
 which Richard was beginning to fear. 
 
 “ It does not affect me whether you agree or 
 not,” she said coldly. He stood silent, smarting 
 under the reproof. There was a pause. He 
 wondered whether he might go. He could see 
 her profile against the window and it soothed him 
 a little. 
 
 “ I think I told you I expect a guest to dinner 
 to-night? ” she asked at length. 
 
 “Yes, madam.” 
 
 “ It is Sir Charles Bulstrode. Dinner will be at 
 eight.” x 
 
 “ Yes, madam,” said Lord Richard, who had 
 never heard of Sir Charles Bulstrode. 
 
 “You will open a bottle of Heidsick ’94, which 
 you will find in the wine cupboard off the pantry, 
 and also a bottle of liqueur brandy. That is all the 
 wine that is necessary.” 
 
 “Yes, madam.” 
 
 She rose and moved towards the door. 
 
 “Let me show you the pantry,” she said. She 
 glanced at him a moment. “ Are your clothes quite 
 suitable? ” 
 
 “I can change them, madam.” 
 
 She went out into the hall. Richard followed. 
 So far things had gone comparatively smoothly in 
 his opinion, and his attitude had been as servile as 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 141 
 
 he could make it. Moved by a sudden impulse, she 
 opened the nursery door. 
 
 “ Oh, I say, what an awfully jolly little chap! ” 
 he said. “ Is this Claude? ” 
 
 “ Master Claude,” said Mrs. Gaythorne with 
 emphasis. 
 
 Lord Richard flushed. “ I beg your pardon,” he 
 said, taking a step back. She hesitated and then 
 closed the door in a determined way. 
 
 “The pantry and kitchen are here,” she said, 
 going down the hall. 
 
 Lord Richard clenched his teeth and followed. 
 His thoughts were to the effect of wondering how 
 a woman with so charming an exterior as Mrs. 
 Gaythorne could behave in this brutal fashion. 
 
 “ More brutality,” he muttered as he entered the 
 pantry. She showed him a few cupboards, pointed 
 out the drawers for the silver and took him into the 
 kitchen. 
 
 “This is cook,” she said with that brevity of 
 expression which seemed one of her characteristics. 
 She watched Lord Richard bow with great politeness 
 to the cook, who rose from her dinner, and without 
 quite knowing what she was doing, curtseyed. 
 Norah stared with open mouth. 
 
 “You must ask Norah where things are,” she 
 said. “In the meantime you can clear away the 
 luncheon things. You will find a tray in the 
 pantry.” 
 
 And, humming a little tune to herself, Mrs. Gay- 
 thorne left the kitchen. 
 
 There was a short silence. 
 
142 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ ’Ave you ’ad your dinner?” asked cook at 
 length. 
 
 “Yes, thanks very much, cook. I suppose I’d 
 better get on with my work, hadn’t I? ” 
 
 “ You’d better take off your coat first. It would 
 be a shame to dirty it.” 
 
 “That’s a good idea.” Lord Richard divested 
 himself of his coat and went into the pantry, where 
 he found a tray. With this in his hand he sauntered 
 into the dining-room. Mrs. Gaythorne was at her 
 writing-table again. 
 
 Lord Richard put the tray on the sideboard and 
 began to remove the glasses from the table. 
 
 “The tray goes on the tray-stand,” said Mrs. 
 Gaythorne without looking up. Lord Richard 
 looked round helplessly. “ The tray-stand folds up 
 and stands behind the door when not in use.” 
 
 “ Oh, yes. Here it is.” 
 
 He took it out and put the tray on it. When 
 he had removed everything from the table Mrs. Gay- 
 thorne looked round. Before her was a half-finished 
 letter. She followed Richard’s movements without 
 speaking and then returned to her letter. 
 
 “ I shall not expect you to go out with Master 
 Claude to-day,” she remarked, as Richard was 
 making preparations to leave the room with the 
 tray. 
 
 “No, madam.” 
 
 “You had better spend your spare time in finding 
 out where everything is kept. I shall be out for 
 tea. You will take in Master Claude’s tea at four 
 o’clock.” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 143 
 
 “Yes, madam.’ 5 
 
 And bearing the laden tray before him, Lord 
 Richard Sandridge strode savagely down the hall 
 into the pantry. 
 
 “Now you’ll ’ave to wash up,” said the voice of 
 Norah from the kitchen. 
 
 CHAPTER X 
 
 “ Flavour of sunburnt nectarine, 
 
 And the light that danced thro’ a wine-glass thin 
 Filled with juice of the grape of Rhine. 
 
 She laughed and talked about this and that — 
 
 Easy, exquisite, foolish chat ! ” 
 
 A Memorable Dessert 
 
 “I’m so busy I scarcely know where to begin,” 
 said his lordship to himself as he stood in his pantry, 
 which he had succeeded in arranging quite neatly. 
 “ I shall have to do the menu-cards and the flowers 
 for to-night.” 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne had gone out, talcing Claude, 
 and the flat was very silent. Cook was reading the 
 Daily Mirror and Norah was sewing. 
 
 “ What a good thing I packed my paint-box. 
 I know the wisdom of taking all you’ve got with 
 you,” said Richard. “I’ll do a river scene. But 
 first I must find the paints.” 
 
 Suit-case after suit-case was dragged from under 
 the bed and the room was soon a wild litter of 
 collars and ties, shirts and coats. 
 
144 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ Ah, here it is! ” sighed Richard in relief, as 
 he opened the last suit-case. “ Now to get the 
 cards ! ” 
 
 He changed into a becoming lounge suit and left 
 the flat in high spirits. 
 
 “ Don’t know how it is, but I haven’t been so 
 happy for years ! 99 he said aloud, and Mrs. Bangs, 
 who lived at No. 4 and was toiling upstairs, looked 
 at him with great curiosity as he sprang down the 
 steps. 
 
 “ So the pretty widow has been entertaining 
 again,” meditated Mrs. Bangs. “ But no — I saw 
 her driving not ten minutes ago ! ” 
 
 Richard was determined to make his first little 
 dinner a great success. Dark purple sweet peas 
 and lilies of the valley should be his flower scheme. 
 There must also be mauve shades for the candles, 
 “ mauve with perhaps little crystal beads hanging 
 round, and perhaps not,” he decided. 
 
 He came first to the stationer’s. It was rather 
 a poor shop, but he entered. They had only very 
 plain menu-cards in dead white. 
 
 “ These won’t do,” said Richard. “ Thanks 
 awfully all the same for showing them to me.” 
 
 He left and passed on to a very ordinary flower- 
 shop, which did its poor best for Lexmore Gardens. 
 
 “I think I had better go to Bond Street,” he 
 rapidly decided. “ Mrs. Gaythorne would like 
 everything to be tophole. I must be quick. I 
 think I ought to take a taxi.” 
 
 He was soon whirling towards Oxford Street. 
 To his horror and dismay he saw Tubby on the 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 145 
 
 left-hand pavement, immaculately clad, with a 
 gardenia in his buttonhole. 
 
 Lord Richard was terrified, really more troubled 
 than there was any occasion to be. He behaved 
 like a child, burying his face in his hands till they 
 had swung past Marshall’s. 
 
 “I suppose people will think I was crying,” he 
 reflected. 64 It’s better than letting Tubby see. 
 He would certainly have boarded the cab.” 
 
 Bond Street proved eminently satisfactory. 
 Richard ordered quantities of exquisite lilies and 
 fragrant sweet peas ; he also turned back and com- 
 manded that half a dozen pot flowers should be 
 sent, cherrypie and roses. These were to turn the 
 fireplace into a flowery paradise. 
 
 He purchased also, at two shillings each, three 
 menu-cards of pale purple satin, each bearing a 
 chaste Adams decoration. The third was bought 
 in case one of his sketches was a failure. 
 
 He came back elated, only stopping on the way 
 to wire to Carter to forward his coin-case to him. 
 He had the brilliant idea of placing his wages in it 
 and carrying it, flushed with triumph, to Evelyn 
 “ in six months’ time.” 
 
 The sketches went well, and soon Richard was 
 inscribing — 
 
 Consomme A la Colbert 
 Filet de Bceuf A la Brillat 
 POULET R6tI AU CrESSON 
 P£che Melba 
 folLAIRS d'AnCHOIS 
 
 Dessert 
 
U6 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 under two effective impressionist sketches of punt, 
 river and girl. He showed them to cook, who said, 
 64 Lor’ ! ” At this point Norah entered, full of 
 excitement. “There’s a lot of lovely beautiful 
 flowers come,” she said. 
 
 “They’re for the table!” said Richard, all 
 pleasure. 
 
 “Well I never! Mrs. Gaythorne don’t always 
 go to that expense for Sir Charles. An old sala- 
 mander I call him,” said Norah, slightly confused, 
 but very unmistakably against the knight. 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne came into the dining-room about 
 six o’clock, when Richard was placing the last vase 
 on the table. He had taken infinite pains, as most 
 men do when arranging flowers. 
 
 “Oh, do you like them? ” he cried, straighten- 
 ing himself and surveying the effect. “ Do you 
 like them — madam? ” 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne, tired after a shopping expedi- 
 tion on behalf of Claude, w r as inclined to be 
 irritable. 
 
 “Where did these flowers come from?” she 
 said, half closing those soft eyes which always 
 sparkled however tired she was, and sparkled more 
 when she was on the verge of annoyance. 
 
 “ I thought it was better to get something as 
 the others were dead, madam,” said Richard. 
 
 “ I ought to have spoken to you about it. I 
 had intended to get a few fresh flowers.” Her 
 admirable voice, clear as a silver bell, lingered over 
 the word “few.” He found himself comparing 
 this voice with the voice of Evelyn Lovejoy. “ I 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 147 
 
 had intended to, but I forgot. I had so much to 
 do,” she said wearily. 
 
 Richard had profited by having a sister. Tea 
 was, he knew, what a woman craved for perpetu- 
 ally. He said hastily, 64 Excuse me, Mrs. Gay- 
 thorne,” and was out of the room in a moment. 
 
 Mrs. Gajdhorne sank into a chair and viewed 
 the display of flowers with a good deal of temper. 
 
 44 What extravagance. What wicked extrava- 
 gance,” she murmured, propping her pretty 
 pointed chin on her hands. Nor was she mollified 
 when Richard appeared in a few minutes with a 
 little tea-tray. 
 
 4 6 What is the meaning of this? ” she inquired. 
 44 1 didn’t order it.” 
 
 44 1 thought, madam, you said you were tired,” 
 he said. 
 
 44 So I am, desperately,” she owned to herself; 
 but aloud she only said : 
 
 44 Another time don’t get me tea unless I order 
 
 it.” 
 
 44 Georgie used to say it was the only thing that 
 was any good for a headache.” 
 
 44 Who is Georgie, pray?” said Mrs. Gay- 
 thorne in a tone like ice. She began to drink the 
 tea. 
 
 44 My sister. She married Bertie Thompson, you 
 know.” 
 
 44 How much did these flowers cost? ” 
 
 44 1 can’t remember exactly, I’m afraid, madam. 
 How careless of me! ” 
 
 44 How very careless. And what a ridiculous 
 
148 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 piece of folly to get all these pot flowers for the 
 hearth ! ” 
 
 “Oh, I remember now, the boy left a bill for 
 you, madam,” Richard said. He went to the 
 writing-desk and handed her an envelope. 
 
 He then bent over the table, putting a last touch 
 to the flowers. There was an ominous silence in 
 the room. He turned to see that Mrs. Gaythorne 
 was looking prettier than ever. She was very pink. 
 When she was angry she always grew pink. 
 
 “These flowers cost a pound,” she said in a 
 terrible tone. “ What right, what right have you 
 to run me into this frightful expense? ” 
 
 Richard stood aghast. “ I was trying so hard to 
 please you,” he faltered. 
 
 “Have you no common sense? ” she said. She 
 was standing now, still pink and still very angry. 
 “First the cab, and then this.” 
 
 “I am very sorry,” he said. “Please take this 
 off my wages ! I won’t get any flowers for you 
 again, madam.” 
 
 “Why on earth are you wearing that suit? ” she 
 continued, looking him up and dow T n. 
 
 “ Oh, I w^ent out — I’m very sorry ” he began 
 
 in a miserable voice. 
 
 “That will do,” she said, checking him with a 
 wave of the hand. “You have forgotten your 
 place, utterly forgotten it. I suppose you have 
 rubbed up the silver candlesticks for to-night?” 
 
 “No madam, not — not yet. And oh, I’ve for- 
 gotten the purple shades.” 
 
 “ What shades? ” said she, in exasperation. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 149 
 
 44 I meant to get some purple shades, they look 
 so ripping, so splendid I mean, with the purple 
 flowers. But of course I shouldn’t have thought 
 of it without asking you,” he said nervously. He 
 was not likely to forget his lesson. 
 
 44 And now I’ll polish up the candlesticks.” 
 
 44 How do I even know that you can do that pro- 
 perly?” she said, still angry. 44 Fetch them and 
 I will do them in the morning-room.” 
 
 44 Oh, I say, no, Mrs. Gaythorne, I can’t let you 
 do that. You ought to rest before dinner now, 
 and there isn’t much time.” 
 
 44 Fetch them for me,” she said. 
 
 He brought them. He was told where the silver- 
 cleaning apparatus was kept. He put it down in 
 triumph. He watched her deft fingers in admira- 
 tion, and copied her method very carefully. 
 
 44 See how they shine! ” he said. 44 How they 
 shine, madam ! But oh, please , let me do the 
 other two. I can’t bear to see you do it, madam.” 
 44 Why not? ” she said coldly. 
 
 44 Because you — you’ve got such pretty hands,” 
 he was going to say, but stopped himself in time. 
 44 Because it spoils your hands, madam,” he said. 
 
 44 Well, I will leave them now,” she said in an 
 indifferent way. 44 Be very quick and then lay the 
 table.” 
 
 44 How I hate her speaking to me in that way,” 
 he thought. 
 
 44 Is he to be my new daddy, mother? ” said a 
 little voice, and Claude peeped round the door. 
 
 44 Come away with me at once,” said Mrs. Gay- 
 
150 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 thorne, with irritation. She swept off with Claude 
 pulling at her hand and crying, “I want to stay 
 and help that man. Oh I do.” 
 
 Richard dressed hastily and suffered agonies in 
 donning the black tie. He lingered anxiously 
 over the dinner-table and invited Norah to look 
 at it. 
 
 “D’you think I’ve forgotten anything, Norah? ” 
 he said in a dejected tone. 
 
 Norah was used to laying dinner-tables and soon 
 said she thought it was all right. 4 4 But there, 
 you do seem down-’earted,” she said, watching his 
 gloomy face as he jingled the glasses at Mrs. Gay- 
 thorne’s place. 
 
 He was thinking of the cold look she had given 
 him. He hated her to be angry with him. And 
 he had thought she would be so delighted with the 
 flowers. 
 
 44 I’m all right,” he said. “ There’s the bell! ” 
 
 The next minute Sir Charles Bulstrode had 
 entered the hall and was being helped off with his 
 coat. Richard recognised him as being the man 
 he had seen running down the steps of Miss Love- 
 joy’s house. Sir Charles was carrying a case, which 
 he deposited on a chair. 
 
 “Say Sir Charles Bulstrode,” commanded the 
 knight. 
 
 For a moment Richard felt strongly disposed to 
 resist the patronising tone ; then he remembered his 
 part, and throwing open the drawing-room door 
 he announced loudly and clearly, “Sir Charles 
 Bulstrode ! ” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 151 
 
 From the dainty green sofa there rose a shim- 
 mering form. Richard looked and caught his 
 breath. He had never seen anything so lovely. 
 
 Lettice was all in cloudy white and silver. Her 
 eyes were sparkling, her hair was arranged per- 
 fectly. It rippled round her white brows and had 
 all sorts of lights and shades in it. She was 
 wonderful. As he closed the door softly Lord 
 Richard was thinking why she was so beautiful. 
 “ I think it’s her expression,” he said to himself, 
 busy at the sideboard. 
 
 Lettice had a singularly brilliant look. It had 
 fascinated many, including Sir Charles. 
 
 They came in to dinner, and as she sat there, 
 leaning her white elbows on the table, she was more 
 delightful than ever. A long chain of amethysts 
 burned on her neck. 
 
 The flowers looked well in the soft candle 
 light. 
 
 “ Richard, you’ve forgotten the salt-cellars,” she 
 said in an undertone. 
 
 In an instant he had fetched them. It was no 
 happy time for Lord Richard. He clutched wildly 
 at his hair at his off moments, when he was not 
 taking away plates. 
 
 “ Help on the left side,” murmured Mrs. Gay- 
 thorne, taking the entree from the right. 
 
 “Now offer the wine.” 
 
 Unfortunately he was looking at her shining and 
 sparkling at the end of the table as he poured 
 some wine into Sir Charles’s glass. It splashed on 
 the tablecloth. 
 
152 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “Oh clumsy, clumsy ! ” exclaimed Sir Charles. 
 His manners were not good and he had the dis- 
 tressing habit of speaking his thoughts. He was 
 striving to be more correct, however, for he longed 
 to enter Society ; since his knighthood he had been 
 uneasily mixing with the best people he could get 
 hold of. It was hard, it was irksome to get used 
 to things, but he was striving daily. 
 
 At this moment he was sorry he had spoken. 
 Mrs. Gaythorne flashed a chilling glance at him 
 and Richard hastily left the room. 
 
 “How very well your man’s clothes fit him, 
 Mrs. Gaythorne,” said Sir Charles, anxious to put 
 matters right. 
 
 There was no answer. 
 
 “Remarkably, remarkably well,” said Sir 
 Charles, regretfully. He himself had infinite 
 trouble with tailors. 
 
 The talk passed to the new Government. They 
 had given Sir Charles his knighthood and he was 
 naturally proud of them. Mrs. Gaythorne listened 
 in silence for some time. Sir Charles was abusing 
 one of the Leaders of the Opposition. 
 
 “Burton is such a cad,” he said as he expanded 
 his waistcoat and leant back in his chair, fingering 
 his wine glass. 
 
 “Oh, no,” said Lettice, quickly. “He’s quite 
 a good fellow.” 
 
 “Yes, he is,” said Richard, handing peche 
 Melba. 
 
 Sir Charles leapt about in his chair. 
 
 “ What did you say? ” said he. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 153 
 
 “I beg your pardon, sir/ 5 said Richard, very 
 humbly. He again hurried from the room. 
 
 “ It strikes me you have a very extraordinary 
 man, Mrs. Gaythorne. Evidently as particular 
 about his politics as his tailor.” 
 
 “Yes,” said Mrs. Gaythorne. She was smiling 
 delightfully now, for she was genuinely amused. 
 
 Lord Richard did not wait badly. He was slow 
 but fairly sure, making several rather distracting 
 remarks to Norah, who was outside. 
 
 Sir Charles was* most complacent. Lettice was 
 looking beautiful, the table was charming, the whole 
 dinner was so very different from the solemn affairs 
 to which he was accustomed. There was a grace 
 and lightness about the whole thing. 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne glanced at him occasionally and 
 wondered how she could put up with him. She 
 hoped he had not brought his banjo with him. At 
 that very moment he said blandly : 
 
 “You kindly asked me to bring my banjo with 
 me, Mrs. Gaythorne. I have done so. I have also 
 brought some new music.” 
 
 “ Ah ! ” she said. 
 
 “I think I am improving,” continued Sir 
 Charles, pompously. “ And it is wonderful how 
 many friends it has brought me, taking up 
 banjoing.” 
 
 He beamed, and Richard, setting down a price- 
 less and curiously-coloured dessert plate before him, 
 thought what a silly ass the fellow was. 
 
 Why had Mrs. Gaythorne invited him? Surely 
 she could not be in love with him. The idea was 
 
154 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 so thoroughly appalling that Richard, absent- 
 mindedly, placed a dish of apples before Lettice 
 instead of an empty plate. She was quick to touch 
 his sleeve, and he retrieved the error with a sinking 
 heart, biting his lip to keep silent. 
 
 “ The Duchess of Antwerp, as I believe she likes 
 to call herself,” continued Sir Charles, clearing 
 his throat, 44 has told me that since hearing me 
 play she has ordered a banjo, and she now practises 
 for three hours every day.” 
 
 “ And what will Antwerp do with himself, poor 
 devil? ” exclaimed Lord Richard, who knew the 
 Duke well and was aware that he had fretful 
 nerves. 
 
 This time Mrs. Gaythorne was annoyed. She 
 had indeed every right to be. “ Leave the room, 
 Richard,” she commanded. 
 
 “Seems to me your man must be mad,” com- 
 mented Sir Charles. 
 
 He rather liked the situation ; it brought him 
 into more intimate terms with Lettice to be sitting 
 with her alone criticising her servant. 
 
 She turned the conversation by saying brightly, 
 “And what about the flat, Sir Charles? ” 
 
 “ Oh, if you would give me some advice about it 
 I should be so grateful,” he said. “ I saw the 
 decorator people to-day. I told them a lady was 
 going to help me furnish it. I have some patterns 
 of wall-papers here,” and he drew them from his 
 pocket. 
 
 “ Won’t you have some ginger, Sir Charles? ” 
 
 “I’d like some very much. We’re going in for 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 155 
 
 ginger a good deal now,” he said, and then 
 stopped, horrified because he had mentioned his 
 business. 
 
 She helped him out. 
 
 “ Yes, I’ve seen it in tiny blue and white jars, 
 labelled ‘The Bulstrode.’ But it’s too dear, too 
 dear, Sir Charles.” 
 
 She shook a white finger at him. At the 
 moment she was like a sweet Greuze picture. 
 
 “You shall have a present of a dozen pots, a 
 score of pots,” said the knight, stretching out a 
 horny hand across the tablecloth towards her. 
 
 She looked at the hand with a lifting of her 
 delicate brows and said : 
 
 “ What had you thought of for the hall of your 
 flat? ” 
 
 “This,” said Sir Charles, producing a scrap of 
 brown and yellow wall-paper. 
 
 “Oh, I shouldn’t, really. I shouldn’t,” said 
 Mrs. Gaythorne, earnestly. She knew he had 
 hideous taste, and when he had implored her help 
 in furnishing his new flat she had foreseen 
 difficulties. 
 
 “Then I thought for the drawing-room,” said 
 Sir Charles, producing another scrap. 
 
 “ That is very pretty. Did you choose that ? ” 
 Mrs. Gaythorne said. It was simple white. 
 
 “Miss Lovejoy admired that,” said Sir Charles. 
 
 “Miss Lovejoy? The girl with heaps of money 
 and who does so much for the Sailors’ Home 
 Charity? ” 
 
 Sir Charles nodded * 
 
156 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ I met her at the big bazaar at the Albert Hall 
 in the winter, smothered in a big hat and sables. 
 I remember she was one of the best saleswomen. 
 I think she’d some very fine diamonds too,” said 
 Mrs. Gaythorne. “ I didn’t know you knew her. 
 So she is helping you to furnish the flat as well ! 
 Oh, Sir Charles ! ” 
 
 Sir Charles beamed. He almost believed that 
 he was a lady-killer for a moment. 
 
 ‘ 6 But what a monstrous price for a paper. You 
 won’t give 10$. 6d. a piece! ” exclaimed Lettice, 
 reading what was written on the back of the wall- 
 paper. (She said the word monstrous so prettily, 
 with a gleam of white teeth.) 
 
 “Well, you know, since — since — since His 
 
 Majesty honoured me,” said Sir Charles, passing 
 his hand over his chin with embarrassment, “ since 
 then the truth is, Mrs. Gaythorne, I’ve decided not 
 to mind spending money. So why not a wall-paper 
 at 10$. a piece ! ” He laughed awkwardly. 
 
 Lettice looked at him critically. She had met 
 Bulstrode at a week-end in a country house, and 
 he had won her heart by fishing Claude out of a 
 pond. The small boy had climbed a tree over- 
 hanging the water and the branch had snapped, 
 and Bulstrode had plunged in and rescued him, 
 carrying him dripping to the bank. Lettice had 
 thanked him with tears in her eyes. Sir Charles 
 had been charmed, and since he had assiduously 
 kept up the acquaintance. This was the second 
 time he had been to dinner. On the first occasion 
 he had bored Lettice by producing his banjo after 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 157 
 
 dinner, and by thrumming cheerfully while she 
 tinkled, yawning continually, at the piano. 
 
 Now it seemed as if the offence were about to be 
 repeated. Lettice had invited two others to her 
 little dinner but they had not been able to come. 
 So the prospect of, the banjo was again before her. 
 
 To Richard bringing in coffee, however, it 
 seemed that they were most intimate, most con- 
 fidential, as they sat in the green drawing-room. 
 Bulstrode was talking, and talking very well, of 
 the model village he proposed to erect for his work- 
 people. Lettice was genuinely interested for the 
 moment ; she w r as leaning forward, her lips slightly 
 parted. 
 
 “ She is in love with him l ” thought Richard as 
 he handed the tray to Lettice, and watched her 
 pretty hands busy with the silver jugs. 
 
 Pretty hands ! Why was he always thinking of 
 them and of her shadowy eyes? Could it be pos- 
 sible that he was in love with his mistress? She 
 looked up at him and half smiled, saying, “ Thank 
 you,” and he knew then at that very instant that 
 it w as true. 
 
 Then came the little frown which he already 
 knew so well. She was afraid he was not going 
 to offer Bulstrode coffee. But he was determined 
 not to fail in any way now. He held the lovely 
 oak tray before Sir Charles, and afterwards carried 
 it out without spilling, in triumph. At the door 
 Bulstrode called out : 
 
 “ Just fetch in my banjo.” 
 
 He had, like most self-made men, a bad manner 
 
158 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 towards servants, and Richard felt he must retort ; 
 but he controlled himself, went quietly out and 
 returned with the case. 
 
 “ I brought some new music,” said Sir Charles, 
 eagerly, “ ‘ The Lily Valse,’ 4 Little Fairy Bell, 5 
 and 4 Ma Coal Black Coon/ ” 
 
 “ Oh, how interesting ! ” said Mrs. Gaythorne. 
 She cast almost a comrade’s glance at Richard as 
 he was disappearing through the door. He caught 
 it and his heart throbbed deliciously. She had for- 
 given him then ! He could hear from the pantry 
 the strains of piano and banjo, not making “ one 
 music,” but very decidedly two. It was torture to 
 think of Bulstrode being so near her ! 
 
 How well she accompanied ! Even the hideous, 
 vulgar tunes seemed sweet and gay when she played 
 them. Sir Charles was clearly a novice. He was 
 only master of one chord. 
 
 Richard was having supper with the cook and 
 Norah, an experience which he did not particularly 
 care for, when the bell went. He was out of the 
 kitchen “like a shot,” as Norah remarked, adding 
 that the new young man seemed willing if nothing 
 else. 
 
 Richard heard Bulstrode’s lingering good-night 
 answered by Lettice in low tones. Then Sir Charles 
 came briskly down the hall. His worn, lined, 
 shrewd face, the face that could be crafty, cunning 
 and as hard as a flint, looked straight at Richard, 
 who bore the scrutiny unflinchingly. Sir Charles 
 prided himself upon being a judge of men. He saw 
 before him a young and handsome countenance, 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 159 
 
 frank and open as the day. Richard was, without 
 doubt, easy and debonair. His clothes fitted per- 
 fectly. Sir Charles felt wistful. 
 
 Wh§t on earth was the use of owning enormous 
 shops and great wealth if one had neither ease of 
 manner nor well-cut clothes? He must give more 
 for his suits ! It was so hard to give up the old 
 habits of the old days when he was just beginning 
 and got everything ready-made in Cheapside, at a 
 very satisfactory price indeed. 
 
 “ I want to get my butler some clothes,” he said, 
 clumsily and abruptly. “ Can you give me the name 
 of your tailor? ” 
 
 6 ‘ Curran of Piccadilly,” said Richard without a 
 smile. He remembered that stage butlers never 
 smiled, and tried to make himself look as solemn 
 and impassive as he could. Distinctly there were 
 moments when he enjoyed his part. 
 
 “Did Mrs. Gaythorne get it for you? ” said Sir 
 Charles, electrified with curiosity at the name of 
 one of the best tailors in London. 
 
 “No, of course not,” Richard said indignantly. 
 
 “ I didn’t know Curran undertook servants,” said 
 Sir Charles, getting into his coat. “Well, well, 
 one lives and learns! Good-evening.” 
 
 Richard held the door open for him and banged 
 it unnecessarily loudly behind him. 
 
 “How can she have such a bounder to dinner? 99 
 he said in despair to himself. As he passed the 
 drawing-room door he met Mrs. Gaythorne. 
 
 “You should not have spoken at dinner,” she 
 said very severely. “It must not occur again,” 
 
160 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ I know the Antwerps. I am very sorry ” 
 
 he began. 
 
 “We won’t discuss it. By the way, I was 
 quite pleased with the menu-cards,” she continued, 
 with one of her rapid changes of manner, to which 
 he was soon to become accustomed. “ Did you do 
 them yourself? ” 
 
 “ Yes, madam. I am very fond of sketching. 
 I’m so glad you liked them. That was right, 
 anyway? ” he asked so humbly that she softened 
 still more. 
 
 “You don’t wait so badly. In time you will 
 be passable,” she said graciously. “Will you 
 please tell cook breakfast will be at half-past 
 nine? ” 
 
 “ May I ask you one question? ” he said, greatly 
 daring. 
 
 “Yes,” she said indifferently. She began to go 
 down the passage. 
 
 “ Are you fond of the banjo? ” he said earnestly. 
 
 She looked backwards and he saw the exquisite 
 curve of her profile. She paused. Then, “No,” 
 she said with an enchanting smile. 
 
 “I’m glad,” he said fervently. But he spoke 
 to thin air. She was gone. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 161 
 
 CHAPTER XI 
 
 “ . . . Low replies, 
 
 And sweet inscrutable eyes 
 
 Coming up from Richmond .” — Old Song. 
 
 “X wish you to go to the Belmont Club, Benson, 
 and see if they can give you the address of Lord 
 Richard Sandridge. If not, inquire whether letters 
 which are sent to him there are being forwarded.” 
 
 Evelyn Lovejoy was standing in the stately hall 
 at Portman Square. It was late September. She 
 had heard nothing from Richard and was distracted. 
 She was also just in the stage when a feeling of 
 compunction was passing to one of anger. 
 
 “ Tell Goss to admit a German gentleman who 
 will call and have him shown into the morning- 
 room. I am not at home to anyone else except,” 
 — she hesitated — “except Sir Charles Bulstrode,” 
 she finished. 
 
 Evelyn was interesting herself much in forming a 
 Society for Promoting English and German Friend- 
 ship, the S.P.E.G.F. it was generally called, and she 
 wore its badge, a hideous lion ramping on a purple 
 enamel field, on her beautiful dress that afternoon, 
 in honour of the visit of Herr Wolfmann, an in- 
 genuous German she had met at an hotel. He had 
 promised to help her. 
 
 The Herr, who had unsuccessfully combined Eng- 
 lish and German tailoring, appeared smilingly at the 
 cherry-coloured front door at three precisely, and 
 asked in sonorous tones for Mees Lovejoy. 
 
 F 
 
162 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 The heiress entered the small and solemn chamber, 
 where he sat, with great empressement. She wore 
 immense ear-rings, which suited her admirably, and 
 a necklace of Egyptian coral. 
 
 44 It ees so kind ! ” murmured the German, raising 
 her hand to his lips. 
 
 “Kind! No! ’’said she. 
 
 66 Ah, but it w r as,” he said, and kissed again. 
 
 Evelyn w^as secretly delighted, being one of the 
 women w T ho can never have too much admiration, 
 be it only from a middle-class Prussian. This w^as 
 the third time her hand had been kissed. The 
 refused Marquis had done it, Richard had kissed 
 both in farewell — ah, Richard ! 
 
 She sighed deeply, and for the moment all her 
 heart w r as with him. When, oh, when would Benson 
 return, and oh, what bliss if there were some 
 news ! She w r as a good deal too proud to ask 
 anything of Georgie, w r ho, in her turn, honest 
 lady, was too proud to inquire of Evelyn about her 
 brother. 
 
 46 Something has been troubling me,” said the 
 German when they w T ere seated on superb chairs of 
 polished wood. 
 
 64 Ah, I hope there is no difficulty with our 
 scheme,” said Evelyn, eagerly. 44 Of course the 
 path to anything noble is strewn with difficulties ! ” 
 She felt she was quoting Rusldn and glowed. 44 Look 
 at all the examples great men have left behind 
 them ! ” she continued, warming to her theme. 
 44 Did Columbus discover America without a 
 struggle? did Robert Bruce conquer without ” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 168 
 
 “It ees not that,” broke in Herr Wolfmann, 
 suddenly. “ It ees my stomak.” 
 
 “ Your — your what? ” 
 
 64 It ees my cold stomak ! Whatever I do here 
 in this Eengland my stomak is quite cold! ” 
 
 “ I thought you were talking of the Society ! 99 
 Evelyn said. She was distinctly shocked. 
 
 44 You vould vonder!” rapidly continued Herr 
 Wolfmann. “You vould vonder at me! Seven 
 goot hot meals in the day and my stomak he is 
 still cold ! It has been thus ever since I came over 
 the sea.” 
 
 44 Let us get on to the formation of the Society,” 
 said Evelyn, hastily. 
 
 The German was considering his next remark. 
 
 44 Rut in this Eengland,” he continued, carried 
 away by his own brilliancy and proficiency in Eng- 
 lish small talk, 44 the ladies, I vill maintain, do not 
 dress veil. My vife who in Eengland shortly vill 
 become vill show you ! 99 
 
 His lips curled as he glanced at Evelyn’s dainty 
 draperies. 
 
 44 1 like, I vill say, many colours ! My vife she 
 wear a red bodeece, a green skeert and a brown 
 coat. So ! It vill the greatest pleasure be if I 
 may brought to you her to see,” he continued. 
 
 Evelyn was astounded. She did not care to know 
 Herr Wolfmann save as an interested agitator in 
 the cause of Universal Peace. He had looked so 
 earnest over it as they had sat together in the lounge 
 of the most admirable hotel at Blacton-on-Sea. He 
 had, in reality, been delighted when Evelyn, hearing 
 
164 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 his accent, had approached and had timidly unfolded 
 her idea. He did not care for the idea in the least, 
 but cared very much that he should have the friend- 
 ship of one of the greatest heiresses in England. It 
 would be pleasant for him to dine with her and to 
 quote her in conversation. He regarded his call on 
 Miss Lovejoy as a social matter, and fully expected 
 her to call on his wife at their Bayswater boarding- 
 house before they left London. 
 
 ££ I have been tinking, and I tink there is no 
 goot in our leetle plans/’ said the Herr, cheerfully. 
 His eyes rolled to the door hoping that tea might 
 be served. 
 
 “ But I thought you said you could get at the 
 Embassy ! ” 
 
 “ I coot — yes ” He spread out his fat hands. 
 
 “ But since speaking with you I have had an offer 
 to be with some in a good work for shipping German 
 sausage to Eengland. Here you know not how to 
 make them. So I vill not have time for our German 
 Eenglish Club ! I am sorry. But I vill to Germany 
 instantly return. I am cold here always — I ” 
 
 “Herr Wolfmann, I thought you cared! I 
 thought you really cared for the great cause!” 
 said Evelyn, with deep reproach. 
 
 “I do care, but I care more that I am cold,” 
 he said simply. 
 
 She rose. Tears were near her eyes. Her active 
 imagination had seen herself beholding the King 
 and the Kaiser linking their hands in an eternal 
 grip. The German departed, surprised and discom- 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 165 
 
 fited at having been dismissed without food, and 
 Evelyn sat down lost in morbid thought. 
 
 The arrival of Benson, imperturbable and de- 
 bonair as usual, roused her. 
 
 “Well, Benson? ” she said eagerly. 
 
 “Lord Richard Sandridge left no address, miss.” 
 
 “And are his letters being forwarded?” she 
 asked breathlessly. 
 
 “ As they have no address they cannot forward 
 any, miss,” said Benson in gentle reproach. He 
 closed the door softly. 
 
 “Then he has had none of my letters!” she 
 thought. It was a real shock. The words she 
 imagined engraven on his heart (in one letter she 
 had been rash enough to call him “ my own brave 
 knight fighting the dragon Idleness ”) had never 
 been engraven there at all ! It was a deadly blow. 
 The words penned on summer midnights, when her 
 window opened on the busy square, words of love, 
 of encouragement, had never reached him. “The 
 Letters that Never Reached Him ! ” — (she thought 
 dreamily that she had once heard of a book called 
 by that title). 
 
 Then she started violently, remembering a little 
 volume of extracts she had copied out for him on 
 green paper, on work, from an essay by Carrie 
 Morelli. What pains she had taken over that! 
 She could only remember one thing in it. The 
 gifted authoress had pointed out with great acumen 
 that nothing in Nature ever took a holiday — so why 
 should Man? 
 
166 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Bitter tears stood in Evelyn’s eyes as she 
 followed the sad way of her thoughts. 
 
 Then the door opened and Sir Charles Bulstrode 
 was announced. 
 
 He looked brisk and pale and wore a large carna- 
 tion in his buttonhole. 
 
 “Oh, Sir Charles! How stupid of Goss to show 
 you in here! Come to the drawing-room! ” 
 
 “Anywhere, anywhere,” said he. He saw her 
 tears and said, with commendable simplicity : 
 
 “ Miss Lovejoy, you’re in trouble. Can I help? ” 
 
 “I’m disappointed,” she said frankly. 
 
 “Won’t you tell me? I can be a regular old 
 father confessor,” said Sir Charles, preening him- 
 self slightly. He loved to be on ultimate terms 
 with people, partly because he almost always found 
 there were difficulties in the way. 
 
 Evelyn went across to the table and took up a 
 small box. 
 
 “Look,” said she, taking off the lid. 
 
 It was full of lions on purple enamel fields. 
 
 “Well I never I ” said Sir Charles. “Are they 
 brooches? ” 
 
 “ They’re badges I had designed for a very pet 
 scheme I had. You know r how the papers are full 
 of the German scare? ” 
 
 The knight looked portentously solemn. He felt 
 in some vague way that as he had a title he would 
 be one of the great men in a war. “ One can 
 scarcely fail to observe that from the newspapers,” 
 he observed pompously. 
 
 “ Well, I had hoped to form a society for Anglo- 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 167 
 
 German friendship,” said Evelyn. “I went so far 
 as to design these badges.” 
 
 “Well, I never saw anything so pretty,” ex- 
 claimed Sir Charles, throwing a glance of admira- 
 tion. “it was good of you.” 
 
 “I met a German at Blacton who seemed a very 
 likely person to help me, especially as he said he 
 knew some of the people at the German Embassy. 
 I had it all sketched out. There were to be weekly 
 social meetings, and everyone had to sign an agree- 
 ment that if war came they would not fight on either 
 side ! ” 
 
 “H’m,” said Sir Charles. 
 
 “ And now the man has failed me. Talked about 
 — idiotic things and thought he was paying an 
 ordinary call. And I don’t know any more Ger- 
 mans,” finished Evelyn, sadly. 
 
 “It is bad luck,” sympathised Sir Charles. 
 
 “Perhaps you could help me,” she sighed. 
 
 “You’re always thinking of others,” said Sir 
 Charles, gallantly. 
 
 “I love my country,” replied Miss Lovejoy, 
 casting her fine eyes upwards. 
 
 “You do, indeed,” said he, thinking how well 
 she looked. “ I brought some plans ” 
 
 Evelyn held out her hand with a delicate gesture 
 of disgust. 
 
 “I’m too tired to-day,” she said gently. “I 
 have a really bad headache.” 
 
 “Then come with me down to the river, Miss 
 Lovejoy. I’m longing to try my new Renaud,” he 
 said persuasively. 
 
168 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 / 
 
 “I should like to,” she said, “but mamma is 
 out.” 
 
 “I saw Lady Sydney Frene driving with a man 
 who was certainly no relation the other day,” said 
 Sir Charles, with emphasis. “ And Pm told it’s 
 quite the thing nowadays. Princess Gwen does it, 
 and we all know she’s all right,” he continued, 
 referring to a stout puritanical royalty. 
 
 “ Well ” she hesitated. 
 
 “It is a shame," declared Sir Charles, with 
 emphasis. “ It is a shame that anyone should annoy 
 you. Don’t tell me it was only that German fellow 
 who upset you ! ” 
 
 “It wasn’t,” she faltered, thinking angrily of 
 Richard. 
 
 “No, I know,” said Sir Charles, shutting his jaw 
 with a snap that pleased her. “ Go and put on your 
 hat, please,” he pleaded. 
 
 “My bonnet,” said Miss Lovejoy, becoming 
 pleasurably excited, and thinking of a creation in 
 elephant grey which nestled in tissue paper upstairs. 
 
 She paused before the glass for a considerable 
 period, angrily crushed Richard’s photograph into 
 a drawer and fluttered downstairs. 
 
 Sir Charles made a mental comparison of her and 
 another lady he knew, one less feverish, less awkward 
 in manner, but more spirited. Evelyn’s tempers 
 were often mere petulance. Distinctly he could 
 manage her best of the two, in spite of her sharpness 
 about money. 
 
 The thought made him very charming to her as 
 they whirled toward the river. She suggested her 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 169 
 
 place at Maidenhead, but they had only time for 
 Richmond. 
 
 41 4 1 had hoped such great things from this League 
 of Friendship, Sir Charles,’’ said Evelyn, childishly. 
 4 4 1 know you will think me foolish — but I even 
 imagined a happy day when, through the influence 
 of its thousands of members ” 
 
 She stopped, flushing with excitement. 
 
 44 Yes?” said he. 
 
 44 1 pictured the time when both England and 
 Germany would give up having navies and these 
 terrifying armies ! ” she said. 
 
 44 You must remember there are other nations 
 besides Germany and England,” said Sir Charles, 
 guardedly. 
 
 She exclaimed in admiration, 44 What an im- 
 portant fact that is ! Perhaps it is all for the best, 
 Sir Charles. Perhaps a mere weak woman cannot 
 expect to organise anything so great.” 
 
 44 Don’t drive so fast, Turner,” said Sir Charles, 
 sharply, to his chauffeur. He had only lately forced 
 himself to buy a car and he was terribly nervous. 
 
 44 Your chauffeur is very good,” said Evelyn, 
 indifferently. 
 
 44 He used to be one of my best sellers,” said Sir 
 Charles. 44 1 find motoring very expensive,” he 
 added bitterly. 44 How do you like my crest? I’ve 
 had it put inside and out. It cost me sixty pounds.” 
 
 44 It is lovely,” she said, admiring the conventional 
 design. 
 
 They felt sympathetic. Both rich, they both 
 spent money lavishly in certain directions, but 
 F 2 
 
170 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 grudged it all the while. Evelyn had lain awake 
 several nights after her generous gift to Sir Charles, 
 wondering why she had not made it £500 less. 
 But glancing at his hatchet profile she did not 
 regret it. 
 
 Here was a man with whom she felt thoroughly 
 at ease. She need not be feeling afraid the whole 
 time lest she should make a faux pas in conversation 
 or in behaviour. Then he had made his own money, 
 the money that had given him his precious title and 
 this glorious Renaud car with its soft chestnut 
 leather cushions. She admired success intensely. 
 
 “You know that Shakespeare circle you men- 
 tioned/’ said Sir Charles, bending towards her 
 tenderly. They were passing up Richmond Hill now 
 and the air was warm and sweet. 
 
 “Yes,” she said brightly. All thoughts of the 
 errant Richard were gone. If she had come out 
 with him on a stolen ride she would have been miser- 
 able the whole way thinking she had committed a 
 social error. This worthy King of Grocers was not 
 thinking of any such thing. 
 
 “ I think I must take it up this winter. I — eh — 
 have been so busy hitherto that I haven’t had much 
 time to give to — ha ha! the arts.” 
 
 “Or the things of the soul?” she murmured 
 softly. 
 
 “Just so. I must take ’em ail up. In fact, I 
 have had eight lessons on the banjo ; difficult, 
 because I have to crowed ’em in between business 
 meetings. You must tell me just what I ought to 
 take up.” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 171 
 
 “You would make a success of anything/’ she 
 said softly. 
 
 “Oh, I don’t know. I think I would be pretty 
 feeble in that higher culture or whatever they 
 call it.” 
 
 “No, you would succeed,” she insisted. “See 
 how you’ve succeeded already.” 
 
 The knight thought of the tea and sand and the 
 ginger and flour combinations which had made his 
 name and smiled. 
 
 The car turned into the side street that leads to 
 the boat-house. 
 
 “Do you punt?” said Miss Lovejoy, glancing 
 coyly from under her bonnet. 
 
 “I expect I could,” said Sir Charles, gallantly. 
 “ I haven’t been on the river for years. I didn’t 
 have the Saturday afternoons off that others took in 
 the firm,” he said reminiscently. 
 
 “ You worked, you see,” said Evelyn. 
 
 “I should think I did.” He smiled with pride. 
 
 “Punt, sir? ” said the boatman. 
 
 “Yes. Er — I suppose punting is quite simple, 
 eh? ” said Sir Charles. He was in a morning coat. 
 He began to fear, intrepid man though he was. 
 
 “ Shall I do it for you? ” suggested the man. 
 
 “ Perhaps you had better to-day, though, as you 
 say, there is no difficulty.” 
 
 The boatman, who had said no such thing, 
 grinned and pushed the punt from its moorings. 
 
 “And now, Miss Lovejoy,” said Sir Charles, 
 looking at his gold hunter, “I have just forty 
 minutes to spare, then I have a meeting at the 
 
172 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Cheesemongers* Hall. Are you doing anything 
 to-night? ” he continued as they shot gently into 
 mid-stream. 
 
 “No,” said Evelyn. 
 
 “ Will you and Mrs. Lovejoy come with me to 
 some entertainment? ” 
 
 “I should like it.” 
 
 Sir Charles beamed across at her. He wished the 
 boatman had not been present. 
 
 “You must dine with me first,” he said. 
 
 “ No, you must dine with me ! ” she said. 
 
 Then she stopped and w r ondered if Richard would 
 like it ! She did not care whether he would or not. 
 Why had he not written ? 
 
 “ I thought you’d prefer a cinematograph, and 
 these seats, though not the dearest, are much the 
 best,” fussed Sir Charles that evening as he saw 
 Evelyn and her mother into shilling places. 
 
 Evelyn did not answer. 
 
 “The first item, I see, is the Newbury Meeting, 
 held the other day.” 
 
 The pictures came on the screen, a gay race- 
 course, a fashionable crowd walking hither and 
 thither. 
 
 “ I wonder if we shall know anyone I ” said Sir 
 Charles in a low voice, anxious to impress on Mrs. 
 and Miss Lovejoy his knowledge of Society. 
 
 Evelyn caught her breath. At that very moment 
 she beheld Lord Richard, hat at the back of his head 
 in the old way, and glasses slung over his shoulder, 
 strolling through the paddock with a pretty woman 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 173 
 
 delightfully dressed in black. Another moment and 
 they were gone. 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne had gone to Newbury, and 
 Richard had a day’s holiday and also went. The 
 cinematograph had immortalised them just after 
 they had met in mutual surprise. 
 
 Smarting tears of jealousy and pique rushed into 
 Evelyn’s eyes. 
 
 She was very tender and kind to Sir Charles all 
 the way home. 
 
 He liked her. She did not snub him, as Lettice 
 often did. 
 
 CHAPTER XII 
 
 “So all the relations gathered together and discussed it and 
 guessed wrong .” — Tice Story of a Runaway. 
 
 “ It’s perfectly true,” said Tubby. “ He has 
 really disappeared. There are more than two dozen 
 letters at the club for him, all in the same hand- 
 writing, and scented so strongly that several old 
 gentlemen have become suspicious of each other.” 
 
 64 But where can he have gone? ” exclaimed Lady 
 Georgie. She handed Mr. Bannister a cup of tea 
 and looked distractedly at her guest. 
 
 “ When men between thirty and forty disappear 
 there is usually only one explanation,” said Tubby, 
 darkly. “ Although Miss Lovejoy stipulated that 
 
174 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 he must earn his own living for six months it was 
 absolutely unnecessary for him to disappear. If it 
 had been me, I should have earned it in broad day- 
 light on the pavement somewhere.” 
 
 “I suppose those letters are from Miss 
 Lovejoy? ” 
 
 “ Of course. She’ll be furious if she finds he 
 hasn’t received them. Do you think he’s in 
 England? ” 
 
 “ Where else could he be? ” asked Tubby, whose 
 knowledge of geography was small. 
 
 “He might be in Paris,” reflected Georgie, 
 vaguely. 
 
 Tubby shook his head. “ No, he must be in 
 England, otherwise he wouldn’t have his letters sent 
 to the club. The whole thing appears to me to be 
 unnecessarily mysterious. Mystery is out of date 
 nowadays. Mystery is the sauce of the lower classes. 
 We can dispense with it. Have you seen Miss 
 Lovejoy? ” 
 
 “No. I was so angry with her impertinence in 
 imposing this impossible task on Richard that I 
 thought it best to keep away. Of course, the 
 engagement must be announced. In fact, it’s really 
 not an engagement. Richard is qualifying for the 
 place.” 
 
 “ The insolence of money ! ” sighed Tubby. “ I 
 never had enough money to become really insolent.” 
 
 “I expect father and mother soon,” said Georgie, 
 looking at the yellow and green china clock on the 
 crowded mantel-shelf. 
 
 “Do they know about it? ” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 175 
 
 “I think so. I’ve told them on two separate 
 occasions. I think father understands. I don’t 
 believe mother does.” 
 
 Tubby was greatly mystified by his friend’s be- 
 haviour. He had seen Carter more than once since 
 his disappearance, but could get nothing out of that 
 laconic person. He had intended to watch the house 
 on the day following his discovery of Lord Richard 
 under the table, but his own laziness and other 
 people’s energy had prevented him from carrying 
 out his intention. Two months had now passed 
 without word from Richard. 
 
 “ Let’s write to Scotland Yard and offer a 
 reward ! ” 
 
 “No,” said Georgie, quickly. “They might 
 discover too much. Detectives have a mania for 
 detail that very soon passes the limits of decency.” 
 
 “I suppose none of us are perfect in detail,” 
 murmured Tubby. “But Richard in detail was 
 better than Richard en masse . Shall we adver- 
 
 tise? ” 
 
 “No,” said Georgie again. 
 
 “Then let us do nothing,” said Tubby, comfort- 
 ably. “That is always the solution of everything. 
 People who do nothing in emergencies soon become 
 famous.” 
 
 “ The whole thing is degrading ! ” exclaimed 
 Georgie, angrily. “It contains all the element of 
 a scandal. Were it to get about people would talk 
 about it for a month, and everyone I detest would 
 call on me and sweetly ask for details.” She rose 
 with a gesture of impatience. “ Oh, I begin to 
 
176 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 wish 1 had not meddled with Richard at all ! It 
 was silly of me to tell him that father had lost more 
 money in Mexican Mines. It was — an exaggeration. 
 I suppose he can’t be dead? ” 
 
 “People who marry for money never die,” said 
 Tubby. “That’s their punishment.” 
 
 “But he isn’t married yet! If he had married 
 and then disappeared I could have understood* 
 But to disappear before marriage is so dreadfully 
 careless. Richard is so terribly careless in all 
 things, except in his appearance.” 
 
 “I believe in appearances. What’s the good of 
 belonging to the upper classes unless one obviously 
 appears to be one of them ? ” 
 
 “ There’s not much point in appearing to be 
 one! ” said Georgie, glancing down at her skirt, 
 which was fashionable but hideous. 
 
 “Ethically considered,” said Tubby, “tailors are 
 a great force for good. As far as I’m concerned 
 they are a religious order. I am intensely religious 
 — so is Richard.” 
 
 “Tailors certainly live chiefly by faith alone,” 
 laughed Georgie. “ Oh, here’s mother ! ” 
 
 The Marchioness, followed by her husband, 
 entered the room. 
 
 “Your father is dreadful,” exclaimed Lady 
 Morenest, as she hid her favourite couch from 
 view. “ Simply dreadful. He has invented a new r 
 game! ” 
 
 She leaned back on the cushions and closed her 
 eyes. The Marquis took up his position on the 
 hearthrug and nodded. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 177 
 
 “ How very ingenious of him,” said Tubby* 
 6 6 What is it for ? ” 
 
 44 Don’t ask me,” murmured the Marchioness with 
 closed eyes. 44 What is it for? Nobody knows. 
 He is going to patent it. He says it will cost 
 thousands to advertise.” 
 
 Georgie approached her father. 
 
 64 Have you invented a new game? ” she shouted. 
 
 44 Yes,” said the Marquis. 44 Bundleman is going 
 to patent it.” 
 
 44 Are you sure it’s worth while? ” 
 
 44 Bundleman says it will cost money. Where is 
 Richard ? ” He nodded round the room. 
 
 44 1 told you yesterday that Richard has dis- 
 appeared.” 
 
 44 Good heavens ! ” said the Marquis, and became 
 silent. 
 
 44 Patents, my dear Georgina, are terribly expen- 
 sive,” said Lady Morenest, fanning herself feebly 
 with one hand. 44 The Patent Office is made up of 
 the most extravagantly-inclined young men, who 
 think nothing of defrauding one. When I was 
 young nobody patented anything. It was considered 
 the worst possible form to invent anything except 
 excuses. I remember dear Lady Ward telling me 
 that in China (her husband was attached to a 
 Government pagoda, I fancy) if anyone invented 
 anything they beheaded him instantly and destroyed 
 the invention. China must be idyllic. The Bible 
 always associated strange inventions with the 
 heathen. Did you ever invent anything, Mr. 
 Bannister? ” 
 
178 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ I invented myself,” said Tubby. 
 
 “Then you ought to patent it at once,” mur- 
 mured Lady Morenest, absently. “ What a refresh- 
 ing idea. To patent ourselves ! My dear Georgina, 
 let us patent your father instantly ! He has turned 
 out very strangely ! Imagine what a furore it would 
 create at the Patent Office. Why isn’t Richard 
 here? We might ask him to undertake it.” 
 
 “ Richard has disappeared, mother,” said Georgie, 
 pathetically. 
 
 “ Ah,” exclaimed Lady Morenest, an extra- 
 ordinary gleam of intelligence lighting up her 
 features. “I think I know better.” 
 
 “ What do you mean ? ” exclaimed her daughter. 
 
 Lady Morenest nodded sagaciously, but said 
 nothing. 
 
 “I was talking of your father’s new game,” she 
 continued at length. “It is downstairs in the hall. 
 He insisted on bringing it round. Bundleman, who, 
 in my opinion, is a mere mountebank, says there’s 
 something in it. Frederick!” she screamed, “if 
 you patent that game I insist on having a new bath 
 put in.” 
 
 “ I refuse, Jane ! ” 
 
 “Why? ” 
 
 “ Bundleman ” began the Marquis. 
 
 “ Goodness ! You didn’t consult Bundleman on 
 my bath, did you? ” 
 
 “ Yes,” said the Marquis, his head making violent 
 movement, “Bundleman said so.” 
 
 “Said what?” 
 
 The Marquis nodded. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 179 
 
 “He said that it was so.” 
 
 Lady Morenest sank prone on her couch, crying : 
 
 “ Listen to him I He is incoherent — an obstinate, 
 incoherent husk ! Nevermind. I can wait. Your 
 
 father can’t last •” 
 
 “Hush, mother,” said Georgie, hastily. 
 
 “ . . . more than a year,” concluded the 
 Marchioness. “I am counting on that.” 
 
 “You really must not say such things.” 
 
 “My dear, don’t correct your parents. Practi- 
 cally speaking, I am a doctor. I know what I say, 
 and when I say it I am speaking professionally. 
 By the way, Sir Walter avers that I am two pounds 
 less. I suspect him of tampering with the weights. 
 I can detect no difference myself. This morning, 
 behind the screen, we had quite a little battle royal, 
 you know. So awkward while one is literally trem- 
 bling on the balance. Ah, Mr. Bannister, I fear 
 the scales as much as the guillotine! ” 
 
 “Why should you fear the guillotine?” asked 
 Tubby. 
 
 Lady Morenest raised one finger. 
 
 “ I am secretly convinced that we are on the 
 verge of a revolution ! ” she whispered. “ I have 
 noticed trivial incidents for days which have led 
 me to this conclusion. The masses are muttering ! 
 Listen.” 
 
 Nothing could be heard but the snoring of 
 Georgie’s pug. 
 
 “Richard is very late,” said the Marquis, taking 
 out his watch. 
 
 “ But if there was a revolution it would be an 
 
180 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 absolute farce,” said Tubby* “We should all be 
 on the same side.” 
 
 “ Bundleman said he could not keep that post 
 open for Richard much longer,” said the Marquis, 
 moving restlessly. 
 
 “ My dear Mr. Bannister, you talk as if there 
 were no heroes in the world,” said Lady Morenest* 
 
 “ As long as there are heroes the world can’t 
 be properly civilized,” replied Tubby. 6 * Heroes 
 are only necessary in uncivilized districts where 
 wrongs exist. To be absolutely civilized is to be 
 absolutely free from heroes. Who is your favourite 
 hero? ” 
 
 “Ah! ” exclaimed the Marchioness, “I adore 
 George Washington. I read about him the other 
 day.” 
 
 “ But why is he so admirable a person? ” mur- 
 mured Tubby. “ He abolished the slave problem 
 and introduced the servant problem in its place. 
 Was it altogether worthy of praise? ” 
 
 Lady Morenest’s attention was arrested. 
 
 “ How very interesting,” she observed. “ Per- 
 haps you are right. I have never been to America. 
 Really, to believe all that one hears of the place 
 would raise one to the position of a saint at once ! 
 I remember poor Lady Stivetheback going on a 
 visit there. Poor thing, she was travelling for her 
 health — completely shattered by excesses in tea. 
 In fact, she drank so much tea that they would 
 hardly let her through the Customs — at least, that 
 is what I was told. But we were talking of servants. 
 They are quite beyond me, Mr. Bannister ! So well 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 181 
 
 educated that one is afraid to talk before them ! 
 This education is a dreadful thing. The only 
 antidote is to be well-bred. If that is impossible 
 I should regard culture as the only thing to fall 
 back on. Cultured people are endurable — I mean 
 the people who buy books and never read them, 
 you know. Educated people, of course, never buy 
 books and yet always manage to read them. Such 
 a deplorable lack of taste ! Yes, I agree with you 
 now. Washington was short-sighted. I would 
 welcome a return of slavery. The servant problem 
 is literally undermining the stability of the British 
 Empire. What a pity it is that our religion 
 makes us believe in so much that we know is a 
 mistake ! I wonder if the bishop would object to 
 my reintroducing slaves ? I must ask him to- 
 
 morrow.” 
 
 She stopped, out of breath, and her vague eyes 
 wandered round the room. They came to rest upon 
 her husband’s nodding head. 
 
 “ Richard ” began the Marquis. 
 
 6 4 Ah ! ” cried Lady Morenest, “ that reminds me. 
 Why has no one mentioned Richard’s name before? 
 I could have told you the most interesting little 
 piece of news. My memory is so bad. Was it you, 
 Mr. Bannister, who said that a good memory was a 
 middle-class perquisite? Or perhaps it was Sir 
 Walter. Poor man, he is so worried about me. I 
 cannot fail to see that. After all, it is beautiful 
 to see anxiety and compassion written on the face 
 of our doctors. So very human and unmercenary I 
 Not that I think doctors, as a class, are good men. 
 
182 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 One never actually discovers anything. One can 
 only suspect. Their training helps them to acquire 
 that absolutely expressionless eye that is a fortune 
 in itself. ” She paused reflectively. “ The wicked- 
 est man I ever knew,” she continued with a deep 
 sigh, “ was a doctor.” 
 
 “ What news have you got of Richard? ” asked 
 Georgie. 
 
 “He is dead now,” added the Marchioness. 
 “ No, no, dear child. Not Richard ! I do not 
 refer to that renegade, my son. Indeed, he may 
 be said to be very much alive.” 
 
 She beckoned to her husband, who came a step 
 nearer. 
 
 “ Your son Richard is married ! ” she screamed. 
 “ Good heavens ! ” exclaimed the Marquis. 
 Georgie jumped up from her chair. “ Married, 
 mother? What do you mean? ” 
 
 “I knew something was wrong,” said Tubby. 
 “ I shall believe in no one for the rest of my life. 
 How do you know he’s married ? ” 
 
 “ I’ve seen his child.” 
 
 “Conclusive proof!” cried Tubby, with great 
 satisfaction. “Who is she? ” 
 
 “It’s a little boy.” 
 
 “I mean, who is the wife? ” 
 
 The Marchioness extended her hands and shrugged 
 her shoulders. 
 
 “Some actress, no doubt. I haven’t seen her.” 
 “Or private secretary,” murmured Tubby, 
 thoughtfully. “I oughtn’t to have judged Carter 
 bo hastily.” v 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 183 
 
 “Mother, this is impossible !” cried Georgie. 
 “He’s engaged to Evelyn Lovejoy. How can he 
 be married at the same time? ” 
 
 “My dear child, you have had no experience of 
 men — of course, I exclude your husband.” 
 
 “Do you mean that Bertie isn’t a man? 99 asked 
 Georgie, hotly. 
 
 “No, my dear. What I mean to say is that 
 except for your husband you have had no experi- 
 ence of men. I do not blame you. On the con- 
 trary, I admire a contented domestic life. At the 
 same time it is essential that the leaders of our sex 
 should be familiar with the mode of life a man like 
 Richard is accustomed to adopt. I was singled out 
 for such a mission at an early date. I stuck to the 
 difficult task imposed on me and never complained. 
 As a consequence I know men through and through. 
 I know all their vanities, crimes and aspirations. I 
 know all their nicknames. I am familiar with their 
 after-dinner stories.” 
 
 “You don’t know the story of the serpents of 
 Brazil,” said Tubby, quickly. 
 
 “ Ah, Mr. Bannister, I may pretend not to know. 
 But, believe me, I am familiar with every detail 
 of it.” 
 
 “Then what happened to the serpent that 
 swallowed the colour-blind orchid-seeker’s pocket- 
 book? ” 
 
 “ Ah, I know — I know ! How naughty you can 
 be, Mr. Bannister. But it is of no use. I shall 
 reveal nothing — not even on that gruesome and 
 indelicate subject.” 
 
184 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “But, mother, do please let us keep to the im- 
 portant subject of Richard,” cried Georgie. “Tell 
 us how you discovered that he was married.” 
 
 “ My dear, I discovered it in the simplest possible 
 manner. I was seated in the Park, thinking sadly 
 about your dear father, who had been unusually 
 trying that morning. Indeed, I was contemplating 
 the stratagem of buying one of those collapsible 
 baths made of india-rubber, which I saw the other 
 day at the stores, when suddenly I found a charming 
 little boy standing beside me. i My dear/ I said, 
 ‘ where is your mother ? * He shook his head and 
 replied, 6 Daddy is over there ! ’ Following the 
 direction indicated, to my unspeakable amazement 
 my eyes lighted upon my own son Richard, smoking 
 a cigarette, with his hat on the back of his head. 
 He did not see me. Without a moment’s delay I 
 vacated the Park. Scenes, my dear, even with rela- 
 tions, I abhor. But I was not surprised. I have 
 often studied Richard’s face and felt that there 
 was much in it that was hidden from the public 
 gaze.” 
 
 “'But this is terrible!” exclaimed Georgie. 
 “What on earth can we do? ” 
 
 “Do, dear child? Why, nothing, of course. 
 When people are married nothing can be done. 
 After all, why should not Richard marry whom he 
 pleases? ” 
 
 “Don’t you understand that he is engaged to 
 Evelyn Lovejoy?” 
 
 “Is he?” murmured the Marchioness, com 
 placently. “ How very odd. Who is she ? * 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 185 
 
 “ The heiress. Oh, what a hopeless muddle 
 everything is in I ” 
 
 “Not at all,” said Tubby. “It is all quite 
 clear.” 
 
 “ What ought we to do? 
 
 “Nothing, of course.” 
 
 “I must be off,” said Lord Morenest, suddenly 
 looking up. “ Bundleman said he would be at 
 the club at five. Where is Richard? He is very 
 late.” 
 
 “ Richard is married,” screamed the Marchioness. 
 
 “Why?” demanded her husband. Lady 
 Morenest closed her eyes. 
 
 “I don’t know,” she sighed. “I don’t know 
 why any one ever marries.” 
 
 “People marry for the same reason that they 
 go to the theatre or get shampooed — simply because 
 there is nothing else to do,” said Tubby. “ I have 
 drawn up a plan of things to do when I’ve got 
 nothing to do, so that I don’t go and get married. 
 For instance, if the feeling comes on in the morning 
 I have lunch early, and then ” 
 
 “ Oh, please be quiet ! ” said Georgie. “ You 
 are all perfectly inhuman. I must go and find 
 Richard at once and see if it’s true.” 
 
 “Of course it’s true,” said Lady Morenest. 
 “ I am very pleased about it. It saves the expense 
 of a wedding.” 
 
 “ Where is my game? ” asked Lord Morenest. 
 
 “If it’s true I shall have to tell Miss Lovejoy,” 
 said Georgie, wearily. 
 
 “Oh, no,” said Tubby. “Don’t tell her. Let 
 
186 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 her find out. To find out a scandal is a woman’s 
 chief delight. Don’t go and spoil everything.” 
 
 66 Think of her sorrow! ” 
 
 “ Nonsense I ” said Lady Morenest. 46 Heiresses 
 are never sorry.” 
 
 “ Quite right! ” cried Tubby, heartily. “That’s 
 why I detest them.” 
 
 “ My game? ” muttered the Marquis. 
 
 “Oh, ring for it, dear child,” said the Mar- 
 chioness, shrilly. “Have it brought up.” 
 
 Mr. Bannister rose and rang the bell. 
 
 “Heiresses are all the same,” he said. “You 
 can pick ’em out in a ball-room straight away. 
 They’re always rather pale, they never look at you, 
 they never listen to what you’re saying, and they 
 always run down the supper, and they never have 
 any sense of humour. If they had they couldn’t 
 be heiresses. Have you noticed that money has no 
 sense of humour? ” 
 
 “I can’t believe it! ” exclaimed Georgie, sud- 
 denly. “Richard would have told me. I am his 
 only sister.” 
 
 “He would have told me before you, dear 
 Georgie,” replied her mother. “But men are so 
 modest about their love affairs — so much more 
 modest than women.” 
 
 “I don’t believe he is a bad man,” continued 
 Georgie. “I’m sure he isn’t.” 
 
 “All men are bad except sons and brothers,” 
 said Tubby. “ Besides, it’s not wicked to be 
 married, in the opinion of the public ! Public 
 opinion is often wrong.” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 187 
 
 “ But if he’s married how could he spend two 
 whole months down at Raggart last year? ” asked 
 Georgie, triumphantly. 
 
 “That proves it,” said the Marchioness. 
 
 “Here’s my game,” said the Marquis, skipping 
 off the hearthrug. The game was deposited on 
 the floor before them. Georgie turned away to 
 the window and stared at the street below. Mr. 
 Bannister approached her. 
 
 “Are you rather cut up over this? ” he asked. 
 
 She nodded. 
 
 “Never mind,” he said soothingly. “Heaps of 
 marriages turn out all right. I know it’s awful 
 to think of Richard being married.” 
 
 “Please don’t joke. I hate to think that I’ve 
 been deceived.” 
 
 “Oh, we’re all deceived,” said Tubby. “That’s 
 the blessing in everything. It’s only when we are 
 undeceived that the trouble begins. But it was silly 
 of Richard to let his son loose in the Park. Let’s 
 hush it up. After all, half of what happens in this 
 world you must pretend not to see and the other 
 half you’ve got to hush up ! I know it’s rather a 
 cynical remark to make. But it’s quite true. 
 Cynics, you know, like sentimentalists, are some of 
 the horrors of peace. When the next war comes 
 we shall be changed, thank goodness.” 
 
188 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 CHAPTER XIII 
 
 ** Her lips said ‘ Go,* her shining eyes said * Stay ! 9 99 
 
 Hand in Hand , 
 
 On the same afternoon, while the Marchioness 
 was laboriously exploding her newest bomb of social 
 intelligence on the heads of Georgie and Tubby, 
 Lord Richard was seated in the pantry at Bollinger 
 Terrace. 
 
 He gazed meditatively at a vista of chimney-pots 
 from the open window. A solid silver tea-tray, 
 partly wrapped in a covering of green baize, lay on 
 the table beside him. In his hand he held a duster 
 of chamois leather. His coat hung on a peg behind 
 the door and he sat in his shirt-sleeves. A vertical 
 wrinkle was visible running down the centre of his 
 forehead. He looked slightly fatigued. 
 
 He was roused by a voice from the kitchen. 
 “ Four o’clock ! You’ll ’ave to be getting the tea- 
 things together.” 
 
 Lord Richard drew himself on to his feet and 
 stared vaguely round the pantry. 
 
 “ ’Urry up ! ” continued the voice. “ Missus 
 said she’d be ’ome at four. Master Claude’s going 
 to be left at ’is party. You’ll ’ave to fetch ’im 
 back at six.” 
 
 “ Right ho ! ” exclaimed Richard, with a sudden 
 accession of briskness. “ Is the kettle boiling, 
 Norah? ” 
 
 “ ’Corse it is. Cook and me is just ’aving a drop 
 of tea now. ’Ave somei? ” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 189 
 
 “Thanks, no. You drink too much tea, you 
 know, Norah. So do you, cook.” 
 
 “Go on with you,” was cook’s pleasant reprisal. 
 “ ’Ow many whisky s-and-soda ’ave you drunk this 
 week past? Shockin’, I call it I ” 
 
 “It’s my whisky, cook.” 
 
 “That ain’t no argument! It don’t matter 
 whose whisky it is.” 
 
 Lord Richard took out the silver tea-tray and 
 busied himself with his preparations. He worked 
 rapidly. He knew where everything was. In a 
 few minutes he was carrying the tray into the 
 drawing-room. He went back to fetch the cake- 
 stand and returned again to the drawing-room. 
 It was empty. The piano stood open, and a piece 
 of music, one of Chaminade’s waltzes, was on the 
 rest. Lord Richard glanced round the room and 
 sighed. During the past two months Mrs. Lettice 
 Gavthorne had seemed to grow sterner each day — 
 and yet he knew instinctively that her heart was 
 never so stern as her eyes — those grey, shadowy 
 eyes that sometimes smiled for a fleeting moment. 
 He had got on famously with Claude, who still 
 insisted on calling him by the forbidden nickname 
 that made Mrs. Gaythorne so cross. She had told 
 him that Claude was not to go to the pantry so 
 often, nor was Richard to dally in the nursery. 
 Occasionally she had talked to him, almost natur- 
 ally, on some subject apart from domestic matters, 
 but she always ended such a conversation with a 
 sudden coldness of manner or a sharp rebuke. Yet 
 even if Lord Richard had been in a position to 
 
190 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 throw up his place at Bollinger Terrace he was not 
 quite certain whether such a proceeding would be 
 altogether agreeable to him. 
 
 Now as he stood looking round the charmingly- 
 furnished room he found himself thinking of her. 
 He walked to the piano. He longed to play it. 
 “ Why shouldn’t I?” he muttered. Then his 
 attitude changed. “Dare I?” he said softly. 
 “ How angry she would be ! I’m only a servant. 
 She doesn’t like me to forget that.” 
 
 He sighed and sat down on the piano stool. 
 
 “I’ll make her angry! ” he w r ent on. “I love 
 to see her angry — really angry — with me.” 
 
 He played some chords and then stopped. A 
 step sounded outside and Norah appeared. 
 
 “ Lord ! ” she exclaimed. “ You didn’t ought 
 to play. You’ll make missus wild ! ” 
 
 “Never mind,” replied Lord Richard. “I like 
 to see her wild.” And he added under his breath, 
 “ She’s got such a pretty colour when she’s wild. 
 When I smashed the Wedgwood teapot I could 
 have kissed her for the way she looked at me.” 
 Norah departed and Lord Richard went on play- 
 ing softly. The vertical wrinkle on his forehead 
 smoothed out and vanished. The pleasure of play- 
 ing, which had been denied him for some time, w r as 
 intense. Each rich chord gave him the keenest 
 enjoyment. Once he glanced at the clock. It was 
 a quarter past four. 
 
 On the tea-table the silver kettle simmered above 
 its spirit lamp. The striped green sun-blinds were 
 drawn outside and the room was cool and shaded. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 191 
 
 The door stood partly ajar. Lord Richard heard 
 the noise of a latch-key at the front door. He com- 
 pressed his lips and continued to play. He raised 
 his eyes to the door. 
 
 44 It can’t have been her,” he thought; “ she 
 would have rushed in at once to scold me.” 
 
 He played to the end of the piece. When he 
 had finished he sat motionless with his hand still 
 resting on the keyboard. The sound of the door 
 closing made him lift his eyes. Mrs. Gaythorne 
 was standing inside the room looking at him. 
 
 Lord Richard rose slowly and stood by the 
 piano. 
 
 “ Do you know T that you have no business in 
 here? ” she asked quietly. 
 
 “ Yes.” 
 
 There w r as a pause. She went to a chair by the 
 tea-table and sat down. She raised her veil and 
 looked at him again. 
 
 “ Why are you so naughty? ” 
 
 He had scarcely expected the adjective. 
 
 “ I am sorry,” he murmured, humiliated by her 
 eyes. 
 
 “Is it fair on me? ” she w r ent on. 
 
 His expression showed her that he did not 
 understand. 
 
 “Aren’t you taking advantage of me? You 
 surely must understand how difficult it is for a 
 woman to — control — a man-servant. Why did you 
 come in here deliberately and do what you know 
 is forbidden? Isn’t it rather — well, bad form?” 
 
 He flushed. 
 
192 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ You are quite right. But I didn’t mean to— 
 defy you.” 
 
 “Then why did you do it? ” 
 
 “Because,” he said, with swift passion, “I 
 couldn’t help it. I love music. I have not been 
 able to play a note since I came here. I knew 
 you wouldn’t like it. And there was another 
 
 reason.” 
 
 She raised her eyebrows. “Yes? ” 
 
 He looked at the floor. “ Yes. I wanted to 
 make you angry.” 
 
 When he dared to look up he saw that she had 
 turned away. 
 
 “I’m sorry,” he said in a low voice. “I was a 
 cad to take advantage of you. But I didn’t mean 
 it in that way. It’s difficult for me — I mean, it’s 
 harder for me to do my duty properly than for other 
 - — butlers.” 
 
 “Why? ” she flashed. 
 
 He took a deep breath. “It’s new work to 
 me.” 
 
 “But oughtn’t you to try and do your best? ” 
 she said swiftly. “Didn’t I take you on without 
 references? Why don’t you try harder? Isn’t it 
 contemptible to plead that excuse? ” 
 
 “ Yes — madam.” 
 
 She turned round again. The flush that he had 
 wished to see was there on her cheeks. 
 
 He took another deep breath. 
 
 “You’re angry,” he said, half afraid. 
 
 “Haven’t I good reason to be angry? Did I 
 ask any questions when I took you on here? I 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 198 
 
 haven’t got the faintest idea why you should have 
 come to me in this position, I don’t care. I 
 know that you’re above it in every way — but you 
 surely don’t think that that is going to count, do 
 you? You came here as a servant. I have treated 
 you as a servant. Did you expect anything 
 else? ” 
 
 “No! ” he said quietly. “I have done my best 
 to please you. Haven’t 1 earned my wages? ” 
 
 “ By playing my piano? ” 
 
 “Except for that, have I satisfied you? ” 
 
 She moved her hands and began to unbutton a 
 glove. 
 
 “I suppose so,” she said at length. Her voice 
 was indifferent. “ It would have saved me a lot 
 of trouble if I had engaged a more experienced 
 man.” 
 
 He winced slightly but stood his ground. 
 
 “I’ve done my best,” he said doggedly. U I 
 haven’t been late a single morning and Pve only 
 smashed a teapot — w r hich you wouldn’t let me 
 replace although I wanted to. I’ve looked after 
 Claude — I mean Master Claude — as well as I could. 
 You won’t let me take him out riding although I 
 told you I could teach him better than that riding- 
 master and save you expense as well. I wear a 
 black tie with a tail coat simply to please you, and 
 you haven’t the faintest idea how it hurts me, and 
 I never laugh at Bulstrode — I mean Sir Charles — 
 and I don’t quarrel with the other servants, and 
 hang it, I can wait quite decently at table now, 
 can’t I ? ” 
 
 G 
 
 / 
 
194 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ All that doesn’t excuse your playing my piano,” 
 she said between her teeth. 
 
 “ I know. I’m sorry for that. It was a tempta- 
 tion. At least, I didn’t do it on the sly. I knew 
 you were coming back ! ” 
 
 She hesitated. “ Did you do it because you 
 thought you would — impress me? ” she asked, 
 drawing off the glove and smoothing it out 
 thoughtfully. 
 
 He drew himself up stiffly. “No, madam.” 
 
 He w r alked to the door. 
 
 “One moment,” she said. 
 
 He looked at her interrogatively, standing rigidly 
 at attention. 
 
 “Master Claude is to be fetched from the 
 Haveringtons’ at six.” 
 
 “Yes, madam.” 
 
 “You can send Norah if you like.” 
 
 “Yes, madam.” 
 
 Lord Richard, his face rather pale, opened the 
 door and walked out. In his pantry he stood with 
 clenched hands and closed eyes. 
 
 “ Your tea’s ready,” called out cook. 
 
 He composed himself and went into the kitchen. 
 
 “ I shall fetch Master Claude,” said Lord Richard 
 to Norah as he sat down at the table. The draw- 
 ing-room bell rang sharply. 
 
 “I’ll answ r er it,” said Norah. “Did she give it 
 you for playin’ the piano? ” 
 
 “She was very angry,” replied Richard. Norah 
 ran to answer the bell. 
 
 “Angry? ” snorted the cook. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 195 
 
 “ Yes. She had every reason to be angry, 
 cook.” 
 
 “ You didn’t do her piano no ’arm.” 
 
 “ No, but I had no business to play it.” Richard 
 took up the loaf and cut himself a piece of bread. 
 
 “ Missus wants you,” said Norah, coming back. 
 
 Lord Richard left his tea and went slowly into 
 the drawing-room. Mrs. Gaythorne was occupied 
 in replenishing the tea-pot from the kettle. She 
 did not look up. 
 
 “You rang, madam?” 
 
 “ Oh, yes. I wanted to tell you about my 
 arrangements for the week-end. I am going down 
 to my country cottage at Rushmere to-morrow. I 
 shall take Master Claude with me.” 
 
 Lord Richard did not know that she had a cottage 
 in the country. He did not express surprise. 
 
 “Yes, madam.” 
 
 “ I shall leave the cook and Norah here. I have 
 a housekeeper down there who can do practically 
 everything.” 
 
 “Yes, madam.” He waited. She had not said 
 what she wished him to do. He wondered if she 
 was about to dismiss him. She looked up at length. 
 
 “ By the way, I had no intention of — of causing 
 you any pain by what I said just now.” 
 
 “No, madam,” he replied stonily. 
 
 “You must understand that it is difficult for me 
 to reprove you calmly when you do things to rouse 
 my anger.” 
 
 She bent over the tea-table and poured herself 
 out another cup of tea. She selected a fragment 
 
196 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 of sugar with serious eyes. One of the gloves on 
 her lap fell to the floor. 
 
 “ Allow me,” he said quickly as he stooped to 
 pick it up. She nodded her thanks. 
 
 “Is there anything more, madam? ” he asked. 
 “Yes. I do not think I shall require the services 
 of a butler any longer! ” 
 
 She leaned back and looked steadily at him. 
 
 He bowed. “ Very well. I quite understand 
 that I have forfeited my claim to remain in this 
 situation. I can leave here to-morrow.” 
 
 “ Where will you go? ” 
 
 “I can no doubt obtain another situation.” 
 
 She seemed to consider the possibility. 
 
 “You do not require longer notice? ” 
 
 “I couldn’t really stay in a place where I knew 
 I wasn’t wanted,” he returned warmly. 
 
 “I am sorry,” she said. “You don’t want to 
 stay, then ? ” 
 
 “Naturally, I can hardly be expected to wish to 
 stay.” 
 
 “Why not? ” 
 
 “Because you have already told me you do not 
 require me.” 
 
 “ I said I did not require a butler.” 
 
 “That is the same thing.” 
 
 She shook her head and smiled. He was puzzled. 
 
 “I’m afraid I don’t quite ” 
 
 “In any case,” she interrupted, “I give you 
 notice now with regard to your position as a 
 butler.” 
 
 “Very well.” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 197 
 
 He detected in her eyes the faint light of amuse- 
 ment, carefully masked by a look of serious gravity, 
 
 “ Have you been comfortable here? ” she asked. 
 
 “ Perfectly, thanks. And that day we met at 
 Newbury was just stunning. ” 
 
 “Do you think butlers, as a class, have pleasant 
 work to do? ” 
 
 “It is not altogether unpleasant. If you have 
 finished tea, madam, I’ll take the tray away.” 
 
 “I have not finished.” 
 
 He stood silently before her. 
 
 “I am afraid you have been very dull,” she 
 said. 
 
 “Not at all, madam.” 
 
 “ Do you know you’ve changed since you came 
 here? ” 
 
 He could not help being interested. “ I think 
 you’re much more — grown up,” she continued. 
 “Didn’t you tell me that you are thirty-two? ” 
 
 “Yes, madam.” 
 
 “You are three years older than I am,” she said 
 composedly. “ It seems rather absurd that I should 
 be in a position to reprove you, doesn’t it? But I 
 think I’ve had more experience of the world than 
 you.” 
 
 “Women invariably think that, madam,” said 
 Lord Richard, stiffly. 
 
 “Don’t you think it’s true? It takes such a lot 
 to get anything into a man’s head,” she replied 
 absently. 
 
 “ I have known women who never learnt anything 
 after they left school, madam.” 
 
198 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “Have you? ” she murmured with obvious 
 indifference. 
 
 He turned towards the door. She did not detain 
 him. In the kitchen Lord Richard seemed pre- 
 occupied. He could not pretend to understand 
 Mrs. Gaythorne. He understood that he had lost 
 his place and was wanted no more. This idea made 
 him smart, for he could conscientiously say that he 
 had done his best, and she had dismissed him with 
 unnecessary abruptness. 
 
 “I shall have to get another place,” he thought 
 miserably. “By Jove, what an ass I was to get 
 engaged to Evelyn ! I can scarcely remember her, 
 and I don’t believe I’ve looked at her photo for over 
 a week. And I’ve never written to her. I wonder 
 if there are any letters at the club for me? It’s 
 all Georgie’s fault. The whole thing has aged me 
 terribly. Mrs. Gaythorne’s quite right.” 
 
 He looked up to meet the interested eyes of 
 Nor ah. 
 
 “ How old do you think I am? ” he asked, 
 “Thirty-five,” said Norah, promptly. Lord 
 Richard groaned. He felt double the age. 
 
 “It’s them whiskys-and-sodas,” said cook 
 severely. “What did missus ’ave to say to you? ” 
 “ Oh, she’s going away to the country to-morrow 
 with Master Claude. I didn’t know she had a 
 place at Rushmere.” 
 
 “Who’s to go with her? ” 
 
 “No one. She says she’s got a housekeeper 
 down there. You and Norah are to stay here.” 
 
 “ And you * ” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 199 
 
 “ Oh, I’ve been given notice,” said Lord Richard, 
 smiling. “ Ah, there’s the bell again. That’ll be 
 to clear away the tea-things.” 
 
 He retraced his steps to the drawing-room, glad 
 to escape the indignant exclamations of the other 
 servants. 
 
 Lettice Gaythorne had not moved from her seat 
 by the tea-table. As Lord Richard entered the 
 room it crossed his mind that there are few posi- 
 tions so charmingly becoming to a woman as when 
 she sits in her own drawing-room beside her own 
 tea-table. 
 
 “ I suppose you have told the other servants 
 that I’ve given you notice? ” she began. 
 
 “Yes, madam.” 
 
 “ And I suppose they are very indignant about 
 it?” 
 
 “Really, I haven’t the faintest idea, madam.” 
 
 She sighed and examined a locket at her breast. 
 
 “Do you think it cruel of me? ” she asked. 
 
 “ I have not thought about it at all.” 
 
 “Then it’s of no importance to you? ” 
 
 “Not in the least.” He paused, checked by an 
 inner voice. “Naturally, I am sorry,” he con- 
 tinued. “ It has been a great pleasure to work for 
 you.” 
 
 “Please don’t say that,” she said quickly. “Do 
 you know, now that I have given you notice I feel 
 that I can talk more freely to you. Would you 
 resent it very much if I asked you one question? ” 
 
 “Not at all, madam.” 
 
 “ It’s a question that most women would have 
 
SOO LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 asked long ago. It’s really very creditable of me 
 not to have asked it.” She smiled quickly. “ I 
 don’t like to ask it now, for it’s no business of 
 mine. Why did you come here at all? ” 
 
 “ I saw your advertisement.” 
 
 “I don’t mean that.” 
 
 “That is the sole reason, madam.” He bowed. 
 She saw that he was determined to say nothing 
 more. 
 
 “Forgive my curiosity,” she murmured. The 
 colour mounted to her cheeks. Her eyes harboured 
 an unmistakable reproof. She turned away a little 
 desperately. 
 
 “Will you please sit down? ” she said. “I am 
 anxious to ask your advice on a subject that I feel 
 you know more about than I.” 
 
 He hesitated until she made a movement of 
 appeal. He took the nearest seat. 
 
 “It’s about Claude,” she observed. He could 
 only see her profile. He felt suddenly sorry for 
 her, without reason. 
 
 “Yes? ” 
 
 “ I am worried about his future. Do you think 
 I pet him and spoil him? ” 
 
 “No. Sometimes, madam, you are rather hard 
 on him.” 
 
 “ Ah, that’s because I’m so afraid I’ll spoil 
 him. You know how much I love him. Can’t 
 you see it’s difficult for me to hit off — the happy 
 medium ? ” 
 
 “ I think he is still too young to let that worry 
 you. When he is older things may be different.” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 201 
 
 “ Why? ” He was conscious of the coldness in 
 her voice and for the moment did not reply. 
 
 “ Why should things be different? ” she asked 
 again. 
 
 “ You can send him to school, and later to 
 college.” 
 
 She leaned forward. “Does that really make 
 any difference? When he comes home won’t I still 
 be forced into the old position ? Think how it will 
 worry me if I do not like his friends. How can I 
 advise him in any way? It is not until something 
 dreadful has happened that a mother in my position 
 can be of any use. And then I can only take out 
 the paste-pot of womanly sympathy and stick the 
 pieces together.” Her voice became bitter. “I 
 fancy that is what women are useful for in the 
 main.” 
 
 “Perhaps it is,” said Lord Richard, gravely. 
 “ Certainly a woman without such a paste-pot is 
 an unpleasant event.” 
 
 He leaned back and watched her. He wished 
 to say something but felt that it might anger her. 
 
 “May I speak frankly, madam? ” 
 
 “Yes, please do.” 
 
 “Well, my advice is simple. Why don’t you 
 marry again? ” 
 
 She started, as if stung by the remark. Then 
 she laughed. 
 
 “Surely there’s some pleasanter solution?” 
 Meeting his eyes, she coloured. “ Do you mean to 
 infer that I should marry Sir Charles Bulstrode? ” 
 
 “No! ” 
 
202 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 44 Because, even were my inclinations in that 
 direction, I would court disaster. Sir Charles lias 
 other ambitions.” She spoke lightly, without a 
 trace of regret, and laughed in her eyes. 
 
 6 4 Would it be rude to ask you whom he intends 
 to marry? ” asked Richard, idly. 
 
 “ How can it possibly concern you ? Asa matter 
 of fact, I’ll tell you. I believe it is someone of the 
 name of Lovejoy. Of course, I do not know whether 
 she has accepted him, but I understand he has 
 proposed.” 
 
 Lord Richard sat up suddenly. 
 
 64 Evelyn Lovejoy!” he exclaimed. 44 Why, 
 
 I’m engaged ” He broke off hastily and stared 
 
 at Mrs. Gaythorne in amazement. 44 How do you 
 know? ” he concluded. 
 
 44 He has told me.” 
 
 There was a pause. 
 
 44 Did you say you are engaged to Miss Love- 
 joy? ” asked Mrs. Gaythorne. 
 
 44 Yes.” He rose and began to pace about the 
 room. 44 Yes. I might as well tell you every- 
 thing now. I’m engaged to her and she promised 
 to marry me if I could show her I could make my 
 own living for sis months. That’s why I’m here. 
 You know now. Good heavens, if what you say 
 is true, what a fool I am ! Oh, I think women are 
 awful ! I agree with Tubby. He says there may 
 be twice as m&ny women on earth as men, but he’s 
 quite sure there will be twice as many men in 
 heaven ! ” He smote the air with his closed fist. 
 44 Think of me frittering away my time in this con- 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 203 
 
 founded hole- — no, I beg your pardon, I don’t mean 
 that — in this miserable role of butler, while she is 
 making up her mind to marry that hard-headed, 
 cross-eyed, money-making machine Bulstrode. It’s 
 simply disgusting.” 
 
 He sat down again and buried his face in his 
 hands. While he had been talking Mrs. Gaythorne 
 rose. She now came towards him slowly. 
 
 “I’m awfully sorry,” she said in a low voice. 
 “I may be wrong. Wait and see. You’ve made 
 me feel rather horrid. Why didn’t you tell me 
 before? I misjudged you all along. I thought 
 you came here for other reasons.” With a sudden 
 movement of impulsiveness she touched his shoulder. 
 “ Poor Richard, do you love her very much ? ” 
 
 He looked up. An expression of amazement 
 crossed his face. He sprang to his feet. 
 
 “Mrs. Gaythorne!” he exclaimed, “I believe 
 you’re crying ! ” 
 
 “Am I?” she said bravely. She managed to 
 smile. “Perhaps it’s because I’m so sorry for 
 treating you so badly. Why didn’t you tell 
 me? ” 
 
 “ But you’ve been awfully decent to me ! ” he 
 cried. “ Why — tell me — why did those tears come 
 to your eyes? It’s not because of Bulstrode, is 
 it?” 
 
 She shook her head. “I’m not crying. Don’t 
 be so absurd.” 
 
 “Look here,*you are crying. I simply hate to 
 see you crying like this. You know how sorry I 
 am for you. I do wish I could help you about 
 
204 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Claude. I believe that’s what’s worrying you? 
 Tell me — is it? ” 
 
 “No. Please don’t be silly. I think you had 
 better take away the tray.” 
 
 She walked towards the mantel-shelf. 
 
 “ Please take it away ! ” she said again. 
 
 He obeyed her in silence, and carried the tray 
 to the kitchen. He returned for the cake-stand. 
 Mrs. Gaythorne was lying on the sofa. He hesi- 
 tated. Her hat was thrown on the floor. 
 
 “ Oh, what have you come back for? ” she said. 
 There was an irrepressible sob in her voice. 
 
 He went to the door and closed it. 
 
 “Please don’t cry,” he said quietly. 
 
 “ Go away ! ” 
 
 “Do you think I am going to leave you here by 
 yourself while you are in this state? ” 
 
 “ Oh, go away — go away ! ” 
 
 “I’d rather see you married to Rulstrode than 
 crying like this,” he exclaimed. He came towards 
 her and stood looking down. He could only see 
 one hot cheek wet with tears. Her face was hidden 
 in her hands, which clasped a crumpled lace hand- 
 kerchief. 
 
 “ Oh, I am so sorry ! ” was all Lord Richard 
 could say. But he said it in such a way that the 
 sobs became wilder. He bent over her. It was 
 now his turn to lay one hand lightly on her 
 shoulder. “Won’t you let me help? ” 
 
 “Please go away,” was all she could manage to 
 say. 
 
 He straightened himself and sighed. He felt 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 205 
 
 suddenly furious with the world and all its system. 
 It was a rotten world. Everything was out of 
 order. Bollinger Terrace was a darker spot than 
 Central Africa. 
 
 “ If you’ll stop crying I’ll go away.” 
 
 “Go — away! ” she whispered. “If you don’t, 
 I’ll ring the bell.” A wave of temper passed over 
 her. “How dare you disobey me? ” she sobbed. 
 “You are my servant, aren’t you? ” 
 
 He bowed his head reverently. “Yes.” 
 
 She sat up. Her dress was in confusion. Her 
 eyes were streaming. Her cheeks flushed, wet and 
 marked by the pattern of the cushion. She rested 
 her elbows on her knees and looked at the points 
 of her shoes. 
 
 “ Go away. I dismiss you. I think you’re 
 perfectly horrid.” 
 
 “Why?” 
 
 “ Do you think any woman likes to be seen crying 
 by her — butler? ” 
 
 “I am no longer your butler.” 
 
 “Then what are you? ” 
 
 “I hope — a friend, Mrs. Gaythorne.” 
 
 “Women can’t make friends of their butlers,” 
 she sobbed afresh. “Oh, go away! What a fool 
 you must think me.” 
 
 •Lord Richard was very much upset. All men 
 are upset when they gaze on a woman in tears and 
 cannot comfort them by letting them sob in their 
 arms. He could think of nothing suitable to the 
 occasion. And he was really distressed because he 
 felt so awfully sorry. 
 
m LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 And that was all he could say, 
 
 “ Oh, please don’t stand there and say you’re 
 sorry,” exclaimed Mrs. Gaythorne in some exaspera- 
 tion. “ You’ve got nothing to be sorry about.” 
 
 “Pm sorry about you,” said Lord Richard. 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne rose up with a gesture of im- 
 patience. 
 
 “Then it’s very silly of you,” she said in her 
 ordinary voice. “ Please take away the cake-stand 
 and go and fetch Master Claude.” 
 
 He picked up the cake-stand mechanically. 
 
 “And please forget all about this stupid in- 
 cident,” she continued. Her back was towards 
 him. “ I suppose it’s nerves. I don’t usually suffer 
 from them. I always regarded myself as being a 
 very calm sort of person.” 
 
 “I’ll take away the cake-stand and I’ll fetch 
 Master Claude,” said Lord Richard, earnestly. 
 “ But I don’t forget this incident nor let you forget 
 that I intend to help.” 
 
 “Oh, my dear boy, run away! How on earth 
 can you help ? ” She turned towards him. “ Don’t 
 refer to it again.” 
 
 Her words were too much for Richard. In a 
 moment he had sprung forward and seized her 
 hands. 
 
 “ I’m going to help,” he said. 
 
 She freed herself instantly. 
 
 “ Don’t be silly,” she said sharply. 
 
 “ But do you understand that there’s nobody in 
 London who feels more sorry than I ? ” 
 
 “How do you know?” Her eyebrows arched 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 207 
 
 and her grey eyes looked steadily into his. “ How 
 do you know? 95 she asked again. 
 
 “ I’m perfectly sure of it.” 
 
 She turned and glanced at herself in the mirror. 
 “ I think you take a lot of things for granted,” she 
 remarked. “ I begin to think you aren’t any more 
 grown up than when you came here. As a butler 
 you might be forty. As a man — — ” 
 
 “Yes? ” he asked eagerly. 
 
 “ I think you very much of a boy still.” 
 
 He took a deep breath. 
 
 “Do you despise me for that? ” 
 
 She shrugged her shoulders. 
 
 “ Do you know that crying doesn’t spoil your 
 face a bit? ” he said irrelevantly. 
 
 She shook her head. “ I shall pay for it to- 
 morrow.” 
 
 “I shall be gone to-morrow.” 
 
 She seemed unaffected by the announcement. 
 
 “ I wonder if you’d let me stay on here as butler 
 if I paid you a pound a week? ” he asked in a low 
 voice. 
 
 A little smile broke about her lips. 
 
 “I’m afraid there would be nothing for you to 
 do. I’m going to get another maid.” 
 
 “ I could stay in the nursery and look after 
 Claude.” 
 
 “Could you? I don’t think it would be good 
 for you. You’d get tired of playing soldiers all 
 day. Resides, you couldn’t smoke in there — or 
 drink. Cook tells me you drink a lot of whisky 
 before the sun goes down.” 
 
208 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “I don’t,” cried Lord Richard hotly. “ She 
 doesn’t understand these things. It’s no business 
 of hers.” 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne smiled and shook her head. 
 
 “ I hope you won’t become a drunkard when you 
 leave me — to-morrow.” 
 
 “ Don’t you think it’s quite possible that I 
 may? ” he said, taking a step nearer. “Is it wise 
 to let me — drift? ” 
 
 “ I’m afraid I can’t take any responsibility. You 
 could hardly accuse me of driving you to drink.” 
 
 64 Yes, I could.” 
 
 “ My dear boy, how? ” 
 
 “ If I knew that I was never going to see you 
 again I should take to drink.” 
 
 “ I think you ought to go and fetch Master 
 Claude,” she said quietly. 
 
 “ I would — really.” 
 
 She went toward the piano and sat down before 
 it. She struck one chord. 
 
 “ As a matter of fact, you never let me tell you 
 what I was going to propose.” 
 
 She struck a second chord and looked up. 
 
 “ I was going to suggest that you should take 
 up the position of companion to Claude and accom- 
 pany him — us : — on our travels. I thought of going 
 abroad soon. That’s, of course, if Miss Lovejoy 
 doesn’t want you.” 
 
 “ You really mean that? 99 he cried. 
 
 “Why not? It seems a pity to turn you out 
 into the street.” She broke into the melody of the 
 waltz which Lord Richard had played. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 209 
 
 “ There’s one thing, however, that you must agree 
 to,” she said, pausing a moment. 
 
 44 Anything,” he said eagerly. “ I’ll agree to 
 anything. What is it? ” 
 
 6 4 You must not make love to me,” was the com- 
 posed answer. 
 
 Lord Richard picked up the cake-stand and 
 rushed out of the room, leaving a trail of highly- 
 coloured cakes all down the passage. 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne continued to play the waltz. 
 
 CHAPTER XIV 
 
 “ Oh, roses, roses everywhere — but only one for me 1 99 
 
 The Hon. Agnes Mannering was one of the sleep- 
 iest people in the world. She had a fair, smiling 
 face lit by sleepy blue eyes, and a tranquil and most 
 soothing manner. 
 
 She was one of the best people in the world to 
 invite to stay with you. She never wanted to make 
 any plans or to go on any expeditions. She would 
 establish herself in a cosy chair with a writing-pad 
 on her knee, and a fountain pen, and declare that 
 she was about to write letters. A few minutes 
 afterwards you would find her beautiful and asleep, 
 with her long fair lashes resting on her rosy cheeks. 
 
210 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Lettice was very fond of Agnes and she had in- 
 vited her to Rushmere. Mrs. Gaythorne travelled 
 down to Sussex alone, picking up her friend on the 
 way. Richard and Claude were to follow the next 
 day. 
 
 “We’ll have tea directly, Hitchens,” said Mrs. 
 Gaythorne, pausing in the big white hall and de- 
 livering up her little bag and scarf to the smiling 
 housekeeper. 
 
 “ Yes, ma’am ; I’ve set it in the garden.” 
 
 Half an hour later the two ladies were seated 
 by a round oak table in a grey paved courtyard. 
 Green lawns stretched round them, separated by 
 paths edged with brilliant flowers. It was a pink 
 garden. Lettice kept all other colours out. Roses 
 clambered everywhere ; they sprang in the borders, 
 twined up arches, and hung in fragrant posies by 
 the high wall that ran right round the garden. 
 There w r as a wonderful strip of ground full of pink 
 hollyhocks. There were also crowds of pink sweet- 
 peas. Lettice drew a long breath. 
 
 “Oh, how blessed it is to be here,” she said. 
 “ Agnes, how can we live in town ! ” 
 
 “How can we, indeed! ” said the Hon. Agnes, 
 leaning back luxuriously. 
 
 “But you’re happy anywhere,” said her friend, 
 enviously. 
 
 “ So are you,” replied Agnes, comfortably. 
 “ More tea, please. Where did you get these 
 heavenly cups with these sw r eet Chinese people on 
 them ? — and oh, Lettice, these knives are new ! 
 You extravagant girl.” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 211 
 
 44 1 adore green handles,” replied Mrs. Gaythorne. 
 44 But you’re wrong, Agnes.” 
 
 44 Why wrong? ” 
 
 44 In saying I’m happy anywhere.” 
 
 44 My dear Lettice, you have the sunniest smile 
 I ever saw.” 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne sighed. She was thinking of 
 Richard, and of all he had become to her. 
 
 44 To-morrow I am expecting Claude,” she said. 
 44 Claude and his tutor.” 
 
 44 You didn’t tell me Claude had a tutor. Re- 
 member I haven’t seen you since the winter,” 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne suddenly felt terribly nervous ; 
 she could not go on talking about Richard. Nor 
 did she quite know how to explain things. 
 
 44 Isn’t the house looking ducky?” said she, 
 turning the conversation. ~ 
 
 Lettice adored her country cottage. Mr. Gay- 
 thorne had given it to her for a wedding present 
 and had rejoiced in her pleasure. 
 
 Lettice had looked up to him as to a father; 
 he was thirty years older than she was, and had 
 been her guardian, and when her parents had died 
 nothing seemed more natural than that she should 
 go and spend her life with him. 
 
 He had died peacefully two years after their 
 marriage. 
 
 44 You must marry again, my dear,” he had said 
 one day to her after he had lain for a long 
 time quite still on his couch and watched her. 
 44 Always remember I should wish you to be 
 happy.” 
 
212 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 She had cried a great deal after he had died and 
 she felt that the loyal affection she gave him would 
 never change. It did not change now. She had 
 never arrived at Mericot without giving him a 
 grateful thought. 
 
 “ When I have had another cup of tea I shall 
 have a thorough tour of the house,” she announced. 
 “ Hitchens, of course, knows better than to do the 
 flowers for me. And, Agnes, you must see my new 
 room.” 
 
 “ New room ? ” 
 
 “Yes, a kind of sitting-room I have had built 
 out ; do you mean to say you don’t notice it there, 
 that window peeping out just to your right? ” 
 
 “ How perfectly angelic to have so much money 
 that you can tack on an extra room to your house 
 when you wish ! ” sighed Agnes. 
 
 “ Now will you have more tea? ” 
 
 “No, thanks.” 
 
 “Then come at once and let’s tour.” 
 
 “Oh, Lettice, need I come? ” said Agnes. The 
 corners of her pretty mouth dropped. “I’m so 
 tired after the journey,” she complained. 
 
 “Tired after two hours’ journey! ” 
 
 “Oh, very.” 
 
 “ Do you mean to say you don’t want to see my 
 new room? ” Mrs. Gaythorne demanded. 
 
 “ Oh, yes, I’m dying to see it,” protested Agnes, 
 very seriously. “But must I? ” 
 
 “ Of course you needn’t, clarling. Here, have 
 my cushions and go to sleep.” 
 
 Lettice went singing into the house and made 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 213 
 
 her way to her new sitting-room. She had wonder- 
 ful taste in decoration and it was a delightful place. 
 It had white walls and deep pinky chrysanthemum 
 chintzes everywhere. There was a great recess by 
 the fireplace cosily cushioned in plain pink. There 
 were many photographs about. A sewing-machine 
 stood in one corner. Lettice was very skilful with 
 her needle and preferred to make her own frocks ; 
 she had also the precious knack of pinning together 
 bewitching hats. 
 
 In another corner there were some golf clubs and 
 tennis racquets. The whole room breathed of a 
 practical woman who loved an active life. There 
 were few books — only one or two novels. Mrs. 
 Gaythorne did not, like Evelyn Lovejoy, worry w r ith 
 reading. She was keen on the actual happenings 
 of the day, and preferred to be out with the hounds 
 than crouching over the fire with sonnets, and would 
 rather be playing tennis than lying dreaming in a 
 hammock. Richard understood her. He would 
 never, if he lived to be a hundred, understand 
 Evelyn Lovejoy. 
 
 And Evelyn demanded a husband whom she could 
 look up to and admire. And Richard’s manners 
 were all she would ever admire in him. 
 
 “I wonder what he will think of it all,” said 
 Lettice to herself as she gazed out of the window. 
 She had never been in love with strict, elderly 
 Eustace Gaythorne. She had never really been in 
 love before. And now she loved a man who was 
 engaged to someone else! 
 
 Well, she must clearly give up the idea of having 
 
214 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 him for Claude’s tutor and companion now. It 
 would never answer. A voice in her heart told 
 her that Richard himself would not endure it for 
 long. But for a few days she would not disarrange 
 matters. In about a week she was due at a big 
 Society bazaar, where she had promised to be a 
 palmist. Then she would make a change. 
 
 She caught herself thinking of Richard as she 
 moved about arranging roses in vases. Would he 
 like a country life? She remembered his fishing 
 tackle in the flat and laughed. He was just a 
 boy then I 
 
 Now y he was different. For the first time in his 
 life he was in earnest. 
 
 Did Evelyn Lovejoy care for him? 
 
 She feared it, and her face paled as she looked 
 steadfastly at the prospect of a life without Richard 
 spreading before her. All the interminable long 
 years ! 
 
 “ Dear Mrs. Gaythorne,” exclaimed a sprightly 
 voice at the window just when Lettice was allow- 
 ing tears to creep into her eyes. “ Dear Mrs. 
 Gaythorne ! So delightful to have you down here 
 again. I had no idea you were coming, but heard 
 quite by chance you had arrived I ” 
 
 “Do come in, Mrs. Mayhew! ” Lettice dashed 
 the tears from her eyes with her pretty sleeve and 
 opened the French window still wider. 
 
 Mrs. Mayhew, a tall, slight woman with a merry, 
 sunburned face, embraced Lettice affectionately. 
 She was a near neighbour, the wife of the Member 
 for Dulhampton. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 215 
 
 “ My dear, I’m giving a dance to-morrow even- 
 ing* Can you come? I’d no idea you were here 
 or you’d have had a card, of course.” 
 
 “ I should love to!” said Lettice, sparkling. 
 “May I bring my friend? Miss Mannering is 
 here.” 
 
 “Oh, I should be charmed,” replied Mrs. May- 
 hew. Then her face clouded. 
 
 “I’m afraid I won’t have a man for her,” she 
 said frankly. “ Counting you, we’re just even 
 numbers. Could you get anyone? ” 
 
 She watched Lettice blush and wondered. 
 
 “I have a tutor for Claude now 7 ,” murmured 
 Mrs. Gaythorne. “May I bring him? ” 
 
 “Do. Now I must fly. The car’s at the gate 
 and I’m going to the station to fetch Rex. Nine 
 to-morrow r evening . ’ ’ 
 
 “ I’ll come to the gate,” said Lettice, linking her 
 arm in her friend’s. 
 
 “You look splendid,” said Mrs. Mayhew. “By 
 the way, what’s your tutor’s name ? ” 
 
 “ Lord Richard Sandridge,” said Lettice, striving 
 to speak calmly. 
 
 “ One of the Morenest lot ! You don’t mean to 
 say he’s tutoring. No, I haven’t met him, but 
 I know 7 his cousins. Lord Morenest has lost all his 
 money, hasn’t he? ” 
 
 “ I don’t know. I think they are poor.” 
 
 “ Well, how very sensible of this young man to 
 take to tutoring. I shouldn’t have thought a 
 Sandridge would have had the brains! ” 
 
 Lettice, remembering Richard’s honest explana* 
 
216 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 tion of how he passed his Little-go, said with 
 dignity : 
 
 “ I believe he did well at Cambridge.” 
 
 “ Well, of course you wouldn’t have anyone who 
 wasn’t first-class for Claudel Good-bye, darling.” 
 She smiled and departed. 
 
 .««•••• 
 
 Lord Richard and Claude arrived at lunch time 
 the next day. The boy was like a wild thing leap- 
 ing and jumping through the house. 
 
 “ See my jolly room I have all to myself,” he 
 cried, pulling Richard upstairs after they had 
 lunched in the courtyard. 
 
 “May I? ” said Richard, looking at Lettice. 
 
 “Of course.” 
 
 “Won’t you show me? ” 
 
 She led him upstairs where all the bedrooms were 
 spotless snowy white. Claude’s little room was 
 charming, with a huge cupboard full of glorious 
 toys. 
 
 “He’s spoiled,” said Lettice, letting her hand 
 rest a moment on the child’s curly head. 
 
 “Not yet. And he shan’t be,” said Richard, 
 quietly. 
 
 “ Is my new daddy going to stay with us always, 
 mummy? I do love calling him my new daddy 
 just ’cause you don’t like me to,” cried Claude, 
 bubbling over with mischief. 
 
 She said, “No, not always,” in a distracted 
 fashion. 
 
 “How pretty that border is,” said Richard, 
 seeing her embarrassment. He pointed to a rhyme 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 217 
 
 frieze which ran round the room, “ Every room 
 you have anything to do with is lovely,” he 
 observed. 
 
 “Can I go with Miss Mannering to the wood, 
 mummy? She said at lunch she would take me,” 
 cried Claude. 
 
 “Yes, if you like. Get your hat.” 
 
 “What will you and the new daddy do? Will 
 you come too? ” 
 
 “ No. Go and get on your hat at once.” 
 
 “Why don’t you reprove him?” Lettice said 
 sharply as Claude raced down the passage. 
 
 “How can I?” said Lord Richard, looking at 
 her. 
 
 “I’m going to write letters in the garden,” she 
 said, moving away. 
 
 “ And I’m going to read letters! Is there any 
 reason why I shouldn’t sit in the garden, Mrs. 
 Gavthorne? ” 
 
 Birds were singing in the apple trees, the sky 
 was blue, the fair garden was at its fairest. 
 
 “Be just where you like,” she said, trying to 
 speak indifferently. 
 
 Half an hour later saw Mrs. Gaythorne seated at 
 a little table writing busily. 
 
 Not far away, near the little fountain that 
 sent its waters up in a joyful shower, sat Richard 
 in a deck chair, with Miss Lovejoy’s letters before 
 him. Carter had called for them at his club 
 and forwarded them at Lord Richard’s tardy 
 request. 
 
 They began by being very affectionate in tone, 
 
218 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 cooled off, and the latest were short and curt, 
 demanding that he should go and see her at 
 once. 
 
 The poor fellow went laboriously through them 
 all. There was a good deal about Eulstrode. 
 
 “He is" such an interesting man,” wrote Miss 
 Lovejoy with much underlining. “ When you come 
 back you must really meet him ! He has given me 
 a great deal of help in a Society for Village Lads 
 which I am organizing. I admire his business head, 
 his large aspirations. When we are married we 
 must see a great deal of him ! ” 
 
 “Good Lord!” said Richard, aloud. “Oh, I 
 beg your pardon, madam,” he said hastily. 
 
 “Not madam now,” said Lettice, looking up, 
 dimpling. 
 
 “No, I’m glad,” he said, but his voice was 
 despondent. 
 
 Mrs. Gaythorne felt confused and wrote without 
 thinking in her letter to the milkman, “ How nice 
 he looks in a straw hat.” 
 
 Meanwhile Richard forged on. He had arranged 
 the correspondence in dates. One letter, written a 
 few weeks before, ran : 
 
 “ I am, as you know, a great believer in super- 
 stitions. I had such a dreadful dream last night 
 about you. I thought I saw you falling down a 
 precipice. Now when I have that dream something 
 awful always happens. Why won’t you write me 
 just a line? You can’t be so busy that you couldn’t 
 do that. Do write.” 
 
 Then again : 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 219 
 
 “ When I think of you I feel very proud. I feel 
 what I have asked you to do may influence your 
 whole life. Don’t you like working, Lord Richard? 
 If I knew where you were I’d send you a copy of 
 a splendid little book I’ve just discovered called 
 Self Culture . I do hope your people won’t think 
 what I have asked you to do at all silly. I do 
 think you understood what I meant, didn’t you? 
 Although your work may be dreary — office work 
 must be, and I guess you’re in some office — I ex- 
 pect you get a hand in great transactions and are 
 very much interested. Sir Charles Bulstrode was 
 telling me ” 
 
 “ Where are you going, Mrs. Gaythorne? ” said 
 Richard, glancing up from the closely-written sheet 
 as Lettice rose. 
 
 “ I thought of going to the woods to find Agnes 
 and Claude.” 
 
 “ May I come? ” 
 
 “Hadn’t you better finish your letters?” she 
 said dryly. 
 
 “ I don’t want to.” 
 
 He stuffed them into his pockets. 
 
 “There are too many,” she said, looking at him. 
 Her heart ached. She was glad to think she had 
 never seen him writing. 
 
 “I’ll take them upstairs.” 
 
 He was down again in a flash, so they walked 
 side by side along the smooth pine-bordered road. 
 The air was fragrant and it was good to be alive. 
 
 “ Oh, how I love the country ! ” she cried, put- 
 ting up a white hand to a green bough. 
 
220 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “Yes,” he said moodily. The perusal of Miss 
 Lovejoy’s letters left him miserable and anxious. 
 
 “Do forget all your troubles for to-day,” said 
 
 Lettiee, impulsively. “ Perhaps — perhaps ” She 
 
 hesitated. 
 
 “Perhaps? ” he helped her. 
 
 “ Miss Lovejoy is very likely entirely constant to 
 you,” she hazarded. “You must not be cast down 
 by what I said about Sir Charles. He probably 
 made the most of her friendship.” 
 
 “I’d like to tell you more about it,” he said 
 desperately. Then he glanced into the pine forest 
 stretching on either hand. “ Could we go and sit 
 down? ” he said. 
 
 She nodded and they entered a wood. There is 
 no place in the world so wonderful when the sun 
 streams down between the boughs. He threw him- 
 self down on the pine carpet at her feet. She leant 
 against a pine trunk and took off her big sun-bonnet. 
 
 “ Well? ” she said, glancing down at him. 
 
 “Need I tell you now?” he said. “It’s so 
 perfect.” 
 
 “ I suppose you wish she was here,” said Lettiee, 
 looking away to the dim depths of green. 
 
 “ Oh, no. I must tell you at once. I can’t have 
 you believing I care for her for a moment,” he said 
 wildly. “You see I keep thinking you understand 
 that.” 
 
 There was a tremendous change in Lettiee ’s face. 
 Light and life flowed into it. 
 
 Nothing in the world mattered now. 
 
 “ How did you ever take me into your service ? 
 
 99 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 221 
 
 he said, watching her hungrily. “ How mad it 
 must have seemed to you.” 
 
 66 Well, I’m not so very old, you know, and I 
 always loved doing mad things, and I liked you, 
 and I was tired of being ordinary and conventional 
 and old ! ” Lettice laughed. 
 
 64 1 am going to write to Miss Lovejoy and ask her 
 to release me,” he said. “Of course I don’t know 
 if she will.” 
 
 “ She will if she likes Sir Charles/’ 
 
 They looked at each other with joy. 
 
 “How I wish I could telegraph to her,” he said 
 enthusiastically. “Reply paid.” 
 
 “ Oh, that would never do ! ” she said gravely. 
 “Have you heard at all from your people? ” 
 
 “ No, but I never do, you see. They’re always 
 so busy, and they keep on forgetting about me.” 
 “I expect your sister is worrying, isn’t she? ” 
 “It was all Georgie’s fault,” frowned Lord 
 Richard. “ But, after all, it led me to you, didn’t 
 it? ” he added, beaming. 
 
 “ I think we ought to go on,” she said, and rose. 
 “ Are you inclined to come to a dance this evening 
 at the Mayhews ? ” 
 
 “A dance? ” 
 
 “Yes, they give very nice ones very often in the 
 summer. Agnes and I are going.” 
 
 “ I should love to. How many dances may I 
 have with you ? ” 
 
 She blushed. “One or two, perhaps,” she said 
 lightly. “Ah, there they are! ” 
 
 They caught sight of Agnes and Claude busy 
 
222 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 building a pine-cone house on the grass. Agnes 
 lifted her lazy eyes and saw a perfect picture of 
 youth and beauty coming towards her. She took 
 in the whole situation at a glance. Lord Richard 
 was a good deal taller than Lettice and bent over 
 her in the most becoming fashion. 
 
 “Are you coming to help, mummy and new 
 daddy? ” cried Claude. “Do cornel 99 
 
 Agnes gasped and with difficulty controlled her 
 features. 
 
 They lingered long in the sunny wood and strolled 
 back towards tea-time to the cottage. Lettice went 
 up to her room to dress before dinner, and Agnes 
 followed her. 
 
 “ What shall you wear, Lettice? 99 
 “ My grey, I think. And you, darling? 99 
 “ I only brought my bronze.” 
 
 “ It will be charming. Oh, Agnes, I wonder 
 when you will meet the man you will love? 99 
 
 “Never, I should think,” said Miss Mannering, 
 contentedly. “ How would I ever have time to get 
 married? I can scarcely get everything into the 
 day as it is, what with looking after my clothes and 
 my dog.” 
 
 “You get up so late,” said Lettice. 
 
 “ And go to bed early. I know I do. I think 
 reading in bed’s the most delicious thing in the 
 world — deliciouser than paradise ! ” 
 
 “ I hope you won’t mind getting home late to- 
 night,” said Lettice. 
 
 “ I adore dancing, as you know. Does Lord 
 Richard dance well? He looks as if he might.” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 223 
 
 “It doesn’t interest me,” said Lettice, sharply, 
 turning away. 
 
 “Are you going to keep him as tutor long? ” 
 persisted Agnes. 
 
 “ No. I think Claude shall go to a day school.” 
 
 “ He seems to manage the boy nicely. I notice 
 Claude doesn’t disobey as he used, and he is better 
 behaved at table and not so noisy.” 
 
 “ Yes, that’s true.” 
 
 “Well, I must go and dress. Then I’ll come in 
 and admire you,” Agnes said. 
 
 They walked along the road to the Mayhews’ 
 house, a big red brick cottage about a mile aw r ay. 
 It was a beautiful walk among the pines in the warm 
 evening air. Lord Richard, opera hat slightly 
 tilted back, walked between them. He thought 
 Agnes a very sensible girl ; she did not bother him 
 by talking. Lettice was rather unapproachable. 
 She was looking perfectly lovely in a dress of grey 
 gauze brightened with amethysts. 
 
 The guests were already assembling in the big 
 dining-room, which had been cleared for dancing. 
 Long windows opened on to the lawms, and tiny 
 coloured lights flickered here and there among the 
 rambling paths in the spacious garden. Lettice 
 was claimed instantly by many partners. Lord 
 Richard did not, to her surprise, come near her. 
 She saw him looking rather miserable in a corner 
 with Agnes. She went towards them. 
 
 “ Aren’t you going to ask me to dance, Lord 
 Richard?” she said so graciously that the poor 
 
224 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 fellow’s heart leaped up. He had again sunk under 
 a cloud of depression. For supposing Miss Lovejoy 
 would not let him off. He saw himself, as he had 
 done hundreds of times, for ever at her side, reading 
 essays, talking on the soul — taking the chair at 
 Club meetings — 
 
 But it was a summer evening. The band was 
 playing Perdition enchantingly, and Lettice was 
 standing by his side inviting him to dance with 
 her. 
 
 “How many may I have, madam?” he stam- 
 mered. 
 
 “Oh, madam! ” said Agnes, going off into a fit 
 of dear laughter. She was ignorant, of course, of 
 the fact that he used to be the butler. Luckily 
 Claude had not betrayed it as Lettice feared he 
 would. 
 
 “You may have three, my lord,” answered 
 Lettice, very sweetly. 
 
 “May I have this? ” 
 
 She nodded. The two swung off together. Their 
 steps matched exactly. 
 
 “ What a fool you must think me ! ” said Lord 
 Richard, softly. “Tubby always told me I was 
 but I never realised it.” 
 
 “ Oh, don’t think of anything but this waltz ! ” 
 she cried; and they were speedily in the land of 
 enchantment again. 
 
 He led her afterwards to the garden, and they 
 found a seat under a dark cedar tree. The moon 
 gleamed above them in the quiet fcky. 
 
 “And now I’ll tell you why I came as butler,” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 225 
 
 said Lord Richard, “and why I hate myself. Yes, 
 Mrs. Gaythorne, you shall know just what an ass 
 I’ve been all the way through. I don’t know what 
 you’ll think of me, but I must just risk it.” 
 
 “Yes, do tell me,” said she, and she moved a 
 little nearer, sweet and fragrant and exquisite, and 
 turned her face to listen. 
 
 But he moved further away, and, looking with 
 knitted brows across the shadowy lawns, he began to 
 speak. 
 
 CHAPTER XV 
 
 •• Tell me, Madam Mystery, pray, 
 
 „ Is my future glad or grey ? ” 
 
 The bazaar at Landon House was a yearly affair 
 of considerable magnitude. The Duke and Duchess 
 of Antwerp, who were in supreme control of the 
 proceedings, were charitably inclined, and by the 
 exercise of tact and diplomacy always managed to 
 make the balance a substantial one. 
 
 Landon House, isolated from the sweeping crowd 
 of Piccadilly by a frowning barrier of stone sur- 
 mounted by spikes of iron, was decked out with 
 flags and rosettes. A red striped awning ran down 
 to the main gate, where the crowd stood several 
 deep on either side of the red baize strip along which 
 so many dainty feet trod every afternoon. 
 
 H 
 
226 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Among the many attractions of the bazaar there 
 were few so well patronised by high and low, rich 
 and poor, as Madame X. In a corner of one of 
 the rooms stood a tent, in front of which a stalwart 
 Arab was stationed, suitably attired in flowing white 
 raiment and wearing a high turban. Above the 
 entrance was a signboard bearing the words 
 “Madame X.” Now all the world knew that 
 Madame X was a very clever palmist, whose prog- 
 nostications had created a furore at the last year’s 
 bazaar. But the tent and the Arab were a new 
 departure. 
 
 “Who can she be?” everyone asked. “What 
 a handsome man that Arab is. Really, one never 
 sees Englishmen quite so handsome.” 
 
 And after saying this everyone sighed and decided 
 to patronise Madame X without delay. 
 
 In consequence there was always a crowd ^ wait- 
 ing outside the tent door. These were carefully 
 arranged in proper order by the Arab, who appeared 
 to understand no English, and at the same time 
 was entirely above the persuasion of money to permit 
 any to go in out of turn. His dark, sombre eye 
 flashed magnificently and the scorn on his swarthy 
 face made the tempters feel ashamed. 
 
 As each visitor was shown out of the tent — 
 frequently blushing, sometimes looking defiant, and 
 always astonished — the Arab would disappear within 
 for a short time as if to consult Madame X. And 
 then, appearing once more at the door of the tent, 
 he would beckon the nest comer inside. 
 
 The curious visitor, on entering the gloom of 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY m 
 
 the tent, saw an Eastern figure seated at a small 
 table, veiled as far as the eyes. Unaccustomed to 
 the darkness, he was unable to see anything clearly, 
 and by the time he regained his sight the seance 
 was finished. Madame X was only to be interviewed 
 between the hours of three and six, and no interview 
 lasted longer than five minutes. It was possible to 
 obtain appointment cards for the next day, and 
 those who did this were careful not to turn up late, 
 for then the Arab would refuse entrance in the 
 haughtiest manner. Irritable old gentlemen, plead- 
 ing on behalf of languid daughters, found him a 
 difficult person to deal with. / 
 
 The fee for each interview was ten shillings, and 
 although it only lasted five minutes Madame X 
 always managed to crowd so many startling 
 facts into the time that the visitor was more than 
 satisfied. 
 
 The Duchess of Antwerp addressed the Duke of 
 Antwerp on the subject of Madame X. 
 
 “ No one, my dear, could possibly say the things 
 she says without a most intimate knowledge of 
 Society. Who can she be? ” 
 
 The Duke had no idea. 
 
 “ An actress, probably , 99 he said. 
 
 “Impossible!” exclaimed the Duchess. “Our 
 menfolk can’t give us away like that, surely ! ” 
 “She brings us fifteen pounds a day,” muttered 
 the Duke. “It’s a pity she don’t put in another 
 hour and make it more.” 
 
 On the second day of the bazaar Mr. Bannister 
 arrived at the entrance at the hour of three, and 
 
228 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 encountered Georgie and her mother standing on 
 the strip of red baize. 
 
 44 Fm going to waste ten shillings,” announced 
 Tubby. 44 I shall have my hand read. I’ve got 
 them both carefully wrapped up in expensive gloves 
 which I refuse to remove. I’ve come straight from 
 a manicure shop.” 
 
 44 I shall ask her if Richard’s married and where 
 he lives,” said Georgie, 44 if I decide to afford the 
 very expensive fee.” 
 
 44 My dear,” exclaimed the Marchioness, as she 
 steamed along under the awning, 44 that would be 
 a mistake. She might be his wife. Richard had 
 several very Oriental ideas.” 
 
 44 He may have several wives,” said Tubby. 
 
 44 Have you got a ticket? ” asked Georgie. 
 
 44 Yes. Mine’s for three-thirty,” replied Tubby. 
 44 Let’s have tea together and discuss notes. Mind 
 you take your wedding ring off before you go 
 in.” 
 
 44 That’s no good. It leaves a mark.” 
 
 44 Lend it to me,” said Tubby, naively. 
 
 44 Don’t be so absurd ! ” 
 
 44 1 shall go in on all fours and pretend I’m an 
 Atheist,” continued Tubby. 44 1 wonder if she 
 knows anything about the serpents of Brazil? ” 
 
 They entered a crowded room, filled with 
 chattering people, who surrounded each of the 
 gaily-decorated stalls and joked with the owners. 
 The bazaar was an occasion for the display of 
 fashions. 
 
 44 Good heavens ! 99 declared Tubby, as his eye 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 229 
 
 wandered over some women before him. “ Really, 
 it isn’t right for a man to be out nowadays with- 
 out a chaperon. How dare you bring me to a place 
 like this? ” 
 
 “They are the highest in the land,” sighed 
 Georgie. 
 
 “My dear,” said the Marchioness, “how very 
 grotesque. Just look ! They remind me of so 
 many eels wriggling heavenwards.” 
 
 “Your dress is almost as bad,” remarked 
 Tubby to Georgie. “ It’s outrageous. Rut for 
 women, men might have attained their ideals long 
 ago.” 
 
 “I apologise,” said Georgie. “My dressmaker 
 did it. I knew nothing about it till I tried it on 
 this morning. What can one do? ” 
 
 “You ought to have stayed at home,” said 
 Tubby, severely. “Who designs fashions?” 
 
 “No one knows . 99 
 
 “Why don’t you find out? Why will women 
 always accept things patiently like this ? It is 
 really humiliating. I shall go home after my hand 
 is read and go thoroughly into the subject. You 
 ought to get detectives to find out who is responsible 
 for this at once.” v 
 
 “ Other women’s husbands are responsible for 
 fashions, Georgina,” observed the Marchioness. 
 “ What a charming tea-cosy ! So absolutely useless 
 — quite out of fashion. What is it — a parrot? 
 Ah, yes, so it is ! How ingenious ! ” 
 
 She was looking at the handicraft of Mrs. Love- 
 joy, which was displayed on one of the stalls. 
 
230 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Tubby was instantly pounced upon by a charming 
 stall-holder, who pressed him to buy a set of lace 
 d’oyleys. 
 
 66 But Pm not married,” he objected. 
 
 44 Buy them ! ” declared the stall-holder, with an 
 enticing smile ; 44 you’ll feel that you have some- 
 thing to marry on then.” 
 
 44 Can you reasonably marry on half a dozen lace 
 mats? ” asked Tubby, doubtfully. 
 
 44 Of course. I married on less.” 
 
 4 4 Was it a success? ” he inquired with interest. 
 
 64 I’ll tell you if you buy them first.” 
 
 44 How much? ” 
 
 44 Only a guinea.” 
 
 Mr. Bannister frowned and produced the money. 
 44 1 must find out,” he muttered. 44 I’m immensely 
 interested in other people’s marriages.” 
 
 44 Now I’ll tell you,” she said. 44 For the first 
 year it was an absolute failure. Then an aunt died 
 and it became a huge success.” She smiled and 
 handed him the parcel tied up with blue baby- 
 ribbon. 44 Was it worth it? ” she asked. 
 
 44 No,” said Tubby, 44 1 don’t think it was. But 
 nothing you have to pay for is worth it after you’ve 
 paid. You’ve practically ruined me. I shall have 
 to live on lace mats and nuts for a week ! But I’m 
 glad the aunt died.” 
 
 He wandered away in pursuit of the Marchioness. 
 She, being thoroughly seasoned, examined every- 
 thing and bought nothing. 
 
 44 You ought to buy a fancy bath embroidered 
 with parrots,” said Tubby, over her shoulder. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 231 
 
 “ My dear Mr. Bannister, I should welcome the 
 idea. But it would be the end of Frederick. He 
 is so hostile to baths. Sir Walter — I asked him 
 about the matter — said that I must insist on having 
 a bath ! ” 
 
 “Mother, don’t talk so loudly,” exclaimed 
 Georgie. “You say such odd things. People will 
 misunderstand. ” 
 
 “ What of that, dear child ? We are an assembly 
 of misunderstood people as it is. The addition of 
 one more will remain unnoticed.” 
 
 They drew near Madame X’s tent and the 
 Marchioness caught sight of the tall and handsome 
 Arab. At the same moment the Arab’s dark eyes 
 fell on her, and it was noticeable that he gave a 
 slight start. 
 
 “ Here we are,” said Tubby, cheerfully. 
 
 “How very handsome he is!” murmured 
 Georgie. “ Do you think he is married to Madame 
 X? ” 
 
 “ My dear ! ” exclaimed the Marchioness. “ How 
 very singular.” 
 
 She approached the Arab and looked searchingly 
 at him. 
 
 “Do you speak English? ” she asked. 
 
 The Arab took no notice. 
 
 She repeated the question in French. 
 
 He looked at her with Eastern indifference. 
 
 “ He’s so like Richard ! ” exclaimed the 
 Marchioness, turning to Georgie in amazement. 
 
 “ Oh, nonsense, mother! Richard isn’t nearly so 
 good-looking.” 
 
232 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 Lady Morenest sat down upon one of the empty 
 chairs outside the tent and stared. 
 
 The Arab, who stood about two paces away, 
 gazed dreamily over the crowded room. 
 
 “ A mother’s eye can penetrate any dis- 
 guise,” continued the Marchioness, shrilly. “Mr. 
 Bannister, is that, or is that not, my son 
 Richard? ” 
 
 “No,” said Tubby, “if it’s Richard I’ll eat my 
 hat.” 
 
 “It is Richard,” said Lady Morenest, decisively. 
 “You’ll have to eat your hat.” 
 
 “ Prove it, then ! ” 
 
 Lady Morenest leaned forward. 
 
 “Richard! ” she said coaxingly. The Arab 
 took no notice. “Richard!” she screamed. “It 
 is I — your mother ! ” 
 
 Several people turned round and stared. 
 
 “Mother!” whispered Georgie, nervously. 
 “ You must not talk so loudly. People will think it 
 extraordinary that you have an Arabian son.” 
 
 “I should like to give him a bath,” observed 
 the Marchioness. “ All that walnut stain would 
 come out.” 
 
 “ It can’t be Richard. He isn’t so tall as that. 
 Besides, he couldn’t come here like that ! ” 
 
 “Men look twice as tall in dressing-gowns,” 
 said Lady Morenest. “ I know it is Richard. Mr. 
 Bannister, will you please go up to him and say, 
 6 Hullo, Richard, how are you ? ’ I order you to 
 do it.” 
 
 Tubby sighed. “ Hold my parcels, then ! 99 He 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 233 
 
 straightened his back and took a step forward and 
 held out his hand. 
 
 “ Hullo, Richard, old man l” he exclaimed, 
 “ what are you doing here? ” 
 
 The Arab stared impassively over the top of 
 Tubby’s silk hat. 
 
 “ Richard ! ” said the Marchioness, sharply. 
 “ You know Mr. Bannister I ” 
 
 At that moment someone came out of the tent, 
 and the Arab, after glancing at the next visitor, 
 withdrew under the flap. 
 
 Tubby sat down next the Marchioness. 
 
 “It’s not Richard,” he remarked. “Did you 
 hear what I whispered under my breath ? If it had 
 been Richard he would have kicked me all round 
 the bazaar.” 
 
 He pulled out his watch. 
 
 “Another five minutes and then it’s my turn,” 
 he said. “ Hullo, isn’t that Miss Lovejoy coming 
 up on the rails ? ” 
 
 Georgie looked round quickly. She had no desire 
 to meet Evelyn, but it was too late to avoid her. 
 
 Miss Lovejoy was bearing a ticket for Madame X 
 in one hand. 
 
 “How are you?” said Georgie, with great 
 cordiality. “ It seems ages since we met. Do you 
 know my mother ? ” 
 
 She effected the introduction. 
 
 “I have heard of you,” said the Marchioness. 
 “ But I cannot remember what I heard. Georgie, 
 didn’t you tell me that Miss Lovejoy was engaged 
 to somebody we know ? 99 
 
234 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “No, mother!” said Georgie, hastily. She 
 drew Evelyn aside. “ I have not seen you since 
 Richard proposed. Where is he? ” 
 
 Evelyn was rather frightened by the expression 
 on Georgie’s face. 
 
 “I don’t know,” she gasped. “Oh, I am 
 wretched about him. I have not heard from him. 
 What does it all mean? ” 
 
 “ It’s your fault. Why did you impose that 
 absurd condition on him? You surely must know 
 that none of our family have earned a living for 
 centuries. I must confess it angered me. I was 
 so furious about it that I thought it best not to 
 come and see you. Of course, the engagement is 
 not known publicly.” 
 
 “We are not engaged,” said Evelyn, coldly. 
 “Lord Richard must first prove himself capable of 
 fulfilling the terms I imposed on him.” 
 
 “ How ridiculous I ” retorted Georgie. “ I never 
 heard of such nonsense. Have you any idea where 
 he is? ” 
 
 “No,” said Evelyn, tearfully. “I don’t think 
 he loves me.” 
 
 “ Nor do I ! ” exclaimed Georgie, in exasperation. 
 
 Evelyn Love joy drew herself up with great 
 dignity. 
 
 “Very well, Lady Georgina,” she said in a frigid 
 voice. “ Let me tell you that I do not love him 
 either. He wished me to marry him because I am 
 an heiress.” 
 
 “Nonsense! ” 
 
 She shook her head 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 235 
 
 “ It is not nonsense. Lord Richard was under 
 your thumb. I do not care if I never see him 
 again ! ” 
 
 She turned away, and then uttered a faint cry 
 of fear. Standing close beside her, with folded 
 arms, was the swarthy Arab. 
 
 “Oh! ” exclaimed Miss Love joy, “he gave me 
 such a fright. I hate niggers ! ” She picked up 
 her skirts and drew away. There was a curious 
 expression in the Arab’s eye. 
 
 Georgie returned to her mother. 
 
 “Mr. Bannister has just gone into the tent,” 
 said the Marchioness. 
 
 “ That was Evelyn Lovejoy, mother. I once had 
 a silly idea that Richard should marry her ! She’s 
 an heiress, you know.” 
 
 “ But he’s already married ! ” The Marchioness 
 rose and crossed to where Miss Lovejoy was stand- 
 ing, before Georgie could restrain her. 
 
 “My dear Miss Lovejoy!” she said. “Have 
 you not heard the news ? Georgie tells me you have 
 no idea that Richard is already married. His eldest 
 boy is nearly seven years old. Is it not delightful ?” 
 
 After uttering these words and beaming cordially 
 in Evelyn’s pale face, the Marchioness returned to 
 her seat. 
 
 She was about to address her daughter when a 
 loud voice from the interior of the tent attracted 
 the attention of all in its immediate neighbourhood. 
 
 “ I tell you I didn’t ! I have never hung upside 
 down out of a window. It’s a pure libel.” 
 
 The Arab dived quickly under the flap and 6 
 
236 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 moment later Tubby, very flushed, shot out. A 
 sound of merriment proceeded from the depths of 
 the tent. 
 
 “ It’s disgraceful ! ” said Tubby, warmly, ad- 
 dressing no one in particular. “ She told me things 
 no decent woman would think of referring to. 
 True? What’s that got to do with it? There’s 
 some confounded trickery in this. How does she 
 know about the serpents of Brazil? ” 
 
 He sat down beside Georgie and took out hi: 
 handkerchief. 
 
 “ She’s English,” he said. 
 
 “ What did she tell you? 99 
 
 “ I shudder to think of the things she said. She 
 must be an actress.” 
 
 “ In that case you probably know her quite well.” 
 “ Hullo,” said Tubby, “there’s Miss Lovejoy 
 going in next I Look at the Arab bowing.” 
 
 “I hate that woman,” said Georgie. “She tells 
 me that she doesn’t care a bit if she never sees 
 Richard again. She has the impudence to suggest 
 that he was after her money.” 
 
 “ Oh, I say, what awful cheek ! And it’s so 
 absolutely true. But I really am glad. She would 
 have made Richard miserable. Did she mean what 
 she said ? ” 
 
 “ Yes. She was charmingly frank. I refuse to 
 speak to her again.” 
 
 “ So the engagement is off? 99 
 “ Yes.” 
 
 “ Does Richard know? How on earth can we tell 
 him?” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 237 
 
 “Tin afraid we shall never see Richard again, ” 
 said Georgie in a low voice. 
 
 Tubby did not reply. He was thinking of 
 Madame X and wondering how he could find out 
 who she was. It occurred to him that he might 
 trace her home* 
 
 “ When does Madame X shut up shop? ” 
 
 “ Six o ’clock.” 
 
 “Let’s go and have tea till it’s your turn to go 
 
 in.” 
 
 And followed by the Marchioness they went off 
 in search of tea. The Arab watched them until 
 they were lost in the crowd. 
 
 In the meanwhile Evelyn Lovejoy was seated in 
 the dark interior of the tent. Her hands lay out- 
 stretched upon a small table over which the veiled 
 figure of Madame X bent. 
 
 For a minute there was silence. Evelyn’s heart 
 beat rapidly. Her encounter with Georgie had 
 naturally roused her to cold anger. And now, her 
 belief in palmistry being so intense, she felt that her 
 inmost secrets lay bare to the mind of Madame X. 
 
 Nor was she mistaken, for that remarkable woman 
 began to speak in a low, clear voice as follows : 
 
 “You are very unhappy,” she began. It was 
 a habit of Madame to begin in this way to all 
 women. Everyone likes to be thought unhappy or 
 to harbour some haughty and gloomy romance in 
 the pure shrine of the soul. “It is your heart 
 that causes you trouble. Yours is a strange story. 
 You have great wealth. You are engaged — ah, 
 forgive me if I am wrong, but I fancy you are 
 
238 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 engaged — to a man who does not love you — to a 
 villain — yes, I am right — who wishes for your 
 money. And while perplexity gnaws at your heart 
 your chained love strives to turn towards another 
 — towards one who truly loves you. This man — 
 your true lover — is a person of a different stamp. 
 He is firm and true. He does not seek money 
 — he has enough — but only love. So far his life 
 has been loveless. He adores you. All day he 
 thinks of you.” 
 
 Madame X paused. 
 
 “Tell me,” said Evelyn, in a low, thrilling voice, 
 “ tell me what the true lover of my heart is like.” 
 “He is a man of middle age — a man of powerful 
 ambition — a man with a will of iron. And yet, 
 despite all his intense business genius, he has simple 
 and endearing habits. For instance, he plays the 
 banjo.” 
 
 Miss Lovejoy drew a deep breath. “Sir 
 Charles! ” she cried in vibrating tones. 
 
 “Is that his name? ” asked Madame X, 
 innocently. 
 
 “ Go on ! Do you say this man loves me? ” 
 “Yes — -most tenderly and passionately.” 
 
 Evelyn nodded. 
 
 “ And the other man — to whom I was engaged ? ” 
 “Alas, he is a deceiver. His heart is black.” 
 Evelyn rose majestically. 
 
 “ Enough ! ” she said. “ This decides every- 
 thing. I have always doubted him. Now 1 know. 
 Thank you, Madame X — thank you from the bottom 
 of my heart.” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 239 
 
 Madame X did not reply. Evelyn passed out of 
 the tent and the Arab entered. 
 
 “Well? ” inquired the Arab, eagerly. 
 
 “ I feel a perfect brute,” said Madame X. “ But 
 I did what was best for her, didn’t I? ” 
 
 “You are a perfect angel! ” cried the Arab, 
 “ The next person is old Lord Stivetheback. Sixty 
 —married — just been in America — gay old dog — 
 won Derby six years ago — writing book of memories 
 — -very fond of curries — says his house is haunted. 
 Is that enough ? ” 
 
 Madame X nodded and the noble lord was 
 ushered into her presence and completely staggered 
 in a few moments. He was told things which the 
 Arab had not told Madame, and when he was re- 
 minded of the existence of a balcony in Shropshire : 
 
 “Bless my soul! ” he exclaimed, “do you mean 
 at Little Primbank — the Rhenishes’ place ? ” 
 
 “I cannot tell. But it was there you broke a 
 solemn vow which the gods still remember. By the 
 way, don’t refer to it in your Memoirs which you 
 are writing just now ! ” 
 
 His lordship was quite overcome and offered to 
 put down a five-pound note if Madame X would let 
 her veil fall down by accident. 
 
 “Can’t think who you are,” he exclaimed. 
 “ Wish I could remember Little Primbank better. 
 Why, it was years ago ! You must have been quite 
 a little girl.” 
 
 “ Oh, please don’t think it was I. I am merely 
 telling you the vision your presence calls up. I 
 have never been to Little Primbank.’* 
 
240 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “Ha! ha! That’s good. I’ll find out soon 
 enough, Madame X.” 
 
 “ Well, please don’t blackmail me ! ” she laughed. 
 
 At five o’clock the Arab ushered in Georgie, who 
 had tried vainly to reduce the ten shillings to five. 
 
 “You have a great sin on your soul — which 
 concerns one closely connected with you — perhaps 
 a brother,” began Madame X, instantly. 
 
 At the end of her five minutes Georgie was on 
 the verge of tears. 
 
 Tubby, waiting outside, tried to comfort her. 
 
 “ It’s all right,” he said. “ Don’t believe a word 
 she says. I’m going to follow her at six and find 
 out who she is. Did she know where Richard is? ” 
 
 “No. But she said she thought he was happy.” 
 
 “Did she say he was married? ” 
 
 “I asked her that question,” said Georgie. 
 “ She gave a strange reply, i No — not yet ’ — 
 uttered in an extraordinary tone of voice. For a 
 moment I thought she was crying.” 
 
 CHAPTER XVI 
 
 84 When the happy ‘ Yes ' 
 
 Falters from her lips . . .*■ — Maud, 
 
 The organizing secretary of the bazaar, Miss 
 Blenkinsop, wearing pince-nez and an unspeakable 
 air of importance, bustled up to the tent a minute 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY Ml 
 
 after six o’clock. Lettice was patiently tracing the 
 life and destiny of Eliza, fifth daughter of the 
 Countess of Mont Blanc, and the Arab was timing 
 her, standing at the entrance with watch in hand. 
 
 56 1 fear Madame X will be fatigued,” said Miss 
 Blenkinsop. “ She has done very well and the 
 Duchess is delighted. She pressed me very hard to 
 disclose her name, but I knew dear Mrs. Gay- 
 thorne ” (she lowered her voice and glanced round 
 at the rapidly-emptying room), “ I knew 7 dear Mrs. 
 Gaythorne would rather keep it a secret. Shall I 
 take the money? ” 
 
 The Arab produced a large bag containing thirty 
 half-sovereigns. 
 
 “Did Madame X have tea? ” said Miss Blenkin- 
 sop, feeling that Arabs were very good-looking. 
 
 The Arab bowed. 
 
 “ Do thank her for me. I mustn’t stay. I have 
 to go and audit the accounts of the sweet stalls. 
 Dearest Baroness Cooper has no head for figures and 
 always gives the purchasers such a lot of change. 
 Last year she was a hundred pounds out.” 
 
 Miss Blenkinsop nearly ran into Tubby at that 
 moment. He was determined to watch the tent 
 closely and he came slowly by. 
 
 “ Dear Mr. Bannister ! So glad to meet you. 
 And have you bought well ? 99 she said archly. 
 
 “I have been pretty well sold,” said Tubby, 
 glancing regretfully at the d’oyleys he carried. 
 “ And I have just come a cropper with Mrs. Hether- 
 ington Heeby at the flower stall. I had no idea 
 she had married again. I said I was so sorry her 
 
242 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 husband was dead ; I hadn’t seen her for a time, 
 d’ye see, and she said her husband was in Skye. 
 I said I felt pretty certain George was in heaven 
 all right, and she got annoyed and said John was 
 shootin’ in Skye. I thought she meant George , was 
 turned into a shootin’ star, and I said, 6 but why 
 call him J ohn ? ’ and she said quite ctossly 4 that 
 that was his name and they’d been married for a 
 month and a bit.’ ” 
 
 At this moment Eliza Mont Blanc, a stout school- 
 girl, emerged from the tent radiant. The Arab 
 entered and bent over Madame X solicitously. 
 
 44 You’re very tired. Why did you let that girl 
 stay so long ? ” 
 
 44 She would ask me so many questions,” mur- 
 mured Lettice. 44 She’s in love with Lewis Waller 
 and Beerbohm Tree and H. B. Irving, and wanted 
 to know if there was any hope, and if she could 
 be an actress, and if she should play Juliet to begin 
 with. I said yes to everything.” 
 
 44 Now you must go straight home,” said the 
 Arab, authoritatively. 44 You look tired out.” 
 
 44 1 should like to buy something to take back to 
 Claude,” she objected. 
 
 44 Well, come now before you change.” 
 
 Lettice emerged. Tubby, watching carefully 
 from a distance, decided that she had a pretty figure. 
 She walked in her floating draperies to the end of 
 the hall. The Arab stood silently beside her as she 
 scanned the small supply of goods left on the toy 
 stall. 
 
 44 Do you think he would like this?” asked 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 248 
 
 Lettice, forgetting her part and lifting her eyes in 
 a very natural way to the Arab as she pointed to 
 a toy. 
 
 Lord Richard was intensely conscious of Tubby’s 
 presence in the near neighbourhood. He spread 
 out his hands with a deprecating gesture to Lettice 
 and smiled as she held up a box of soldiers in a 
 wonderful uniform. 
 
 “I believe Tubby will follow us,” he thought. 
 “I will dodge him if he does.” 
 
 Lettice took the soldiers. As they walked to- 
 wards the entrance she said to the Arab : 
 
 “ I shall be here in a quarter of an hour.” 
 
 He bowed and left her. He had thought of 
 changing in the dressing-room provided and having 
 a bath, but the thought of Tubby made him un- 
 easy. He determined to drive back to the flat as 
 he was. Tubby, by now lounging in the dressing- 
 room, was disappointed of his prey. The Arab 
 went back to the bazaar and loitered about aimlessly. 
 
 Meanwhile Lettice was getting into ordinary attire 
 in a room adjoining the huge cloak-room. Many 
 women were there as she passed through dressed in 
 a summer frock. 
 
 “ Mrs. Gaythorne ! I had no idea you were up !” 
 exclaimed Mrs. Murray, a stout Scotswoman, 
 advancing to shake hands. “ Have you been 
 selling ? ” 
 
 “No,” said Lettice. “Have you? 99 
 
 “Didn’t you come to the refreshment stall? I 
 had the honour of waiting on the Princess. She 
 has a very German appetite. Oh, Miss Love- 
 
244 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 joy* — — ” Mrs. Murray broke off as Evelyn came 
 near. “ My dear, I wanted to catch you before you 
 went. A thousand thanks for lending me your 
 drawing-room for my meeting. Mrs. Gaythorne, 
 do you know Miss Lovejoy? ” 
 
 Lettice found herself shaking hands with Evelyn, 
 who was leaving. Miss Lovejoy was looking happy 
 and determined. She scarcely troubled to look at 
 Lettice. 
 
 4 4 Sir Charles Bulstrode was in the hall a moment 
 ago,” she said to Mrs. Murray. “ He will be happy 
 to be in the chair on the 23rd.” 
 
 Lettice, watching Evelyn swim out of the room 
 in her rich dress (modelled on a Botticelli) felt 
 rather tired and very confused. 
 
 She found her faithful Arab waiting in the hall 
 and rewarded him with a weary little smile. 
 
 “ But you have not changed ! ” she said. The 
 Arab was carrying a suit-case filled with his every- 
 day dress. 
 
 He waved her into a taxi without speaking. It 
 was closed. When Lettice was settled he said, 
 speaking rather strangely : 
 
 “ Shall you mind if we drive to Richmond? ” 
 “Anywhere you like,” she said wonderingly. 
 “There was a man there I know very well,” 
 said Lord Richard. “ I rather think he means to 
 follow me. I’m determined that he shan’t get 
 me. I’m not going to have Tubby triumphing. 
 To begin with, drive us to Hyde Park Corner,” 
 he said to the driver. “I’m afraid you’ll be hot 
 with the cab closed like this,” he continued, turn- 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 245 
 
 ing to her anxiously. “ Perhaps I’d better leave 
 you and get into another cab and dodge him alone. 
 Would you mind looking out of the window to see 
 if anyone is following? I daren’t in this dress, you 
 see.” 
 
 Lettice tried in vain to get her hat through the 
 window. 
 
 “It’s too big. I’ll take it off! ” she cried in 
 exasperation. Off it came, a rustic straw wreathed 
 in apple blossom, and Lettice put her head out. 
 
 “ A man is getting into a hansom — he is coming 
 this way,” she reported. 
 
 “ I will never let Tubby catch me ! ” said Lord 
 Richard, his eyes shining with excitement. 
 “ Bother ! I suppose I can’t get out and walk, can 
 I, in this kit? ” 
 
 “We are just passing my club,” said Mrs. Gay- 
 thorne. “ Shall I take you in there? Wouldn’t 
 it be better than Richmond? ” 
 
 “ Wouldn’t I look rather funny going into a 
 club? But he couldn’t follow us in there, could 
 he?” 
 
 46 Of course not. No man is admitted excepting 
 with a member of the club.” 
 
 Lettice called to the driver to stop, and they 
 passed out of the cab and up the wide marble 
 steps of the Ladies’ Own Home and Country Club. 
 The porter looked at the figure of the Arab with 
 suspicion. 
 
 “ You’d better change here,” said Lettice. 
 
 “ Supposing Tubby draws up outside and waits? ” 
 
 “ You can go out by a back entrance.” 
 
246 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ Right I Well, I’d like to change very much. 
 Look at those girls staring at me ! Is my face very 
 badly done? ” 
 
 Lettice glanced at him and laughed. “You’re 
 a little hot,” she remarked cruelly. 
 
 Richard vanished, and Lettice, going up to the 
 library, discovered the Hon. Agnes seated in a deep 
 chair with her eyes shut. One hand, holding a 
 cigarette which had gone out, was lying limply 
 on the arm of her chair, the other held an open 
 book. 
 
 “You should have come to the bazaar, Agnes ! ” 
 exclaimed Lettice, gently waking her. “You know 
 you promised ! ” 
 
 “ Good gracious, Lettice, I didn’t know you ever 
 patronised your club ! ” 
 
 “I do sometimes.” 
 
 “Is Lord Richard here? 99 
 
 “Yes, he’ll be upstairs in a moment.” 
 
 Agnes looked at her friend in silence. It was 
 impossible that Lord Richard should remain long 
 in his present capacity. Lettice caught her look 
 and laughed. 
 
 “I’m thinking of giving the tutor his cong£,” 
 she said a little unsteadily. Then she walked to the 
 window. She saw a hansom standing at the park 
 side of Piccadilly in which Tubby sat. 
 
 “How did you get on?” said Agnes. They 
 were alone in the room, so they could talk freely. 
 
 Visions of the people she had entertained during 
 the afternoon came over Lettice ’s mind. She 
 scarcely realised as yet that Evelyn was no longer 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY Ml 
 
 engaged to Richard. “ Very well,” she said, and 
 was thankful when Richard appeared clothed in 
 ordinary dress. 
 
 “How are you, Miss Mannering? How funny 
 that you should belong to this club too ! Why 
 have they got men’s arm-chairs and tables? ” 
 
 “It used to be a men’s club and we bought all 
 the furniture, you know,” said Agnes, who was a 
 drowsy and unwilling member of committee. 
 
 “Oh! Well, I think it should all be much 
 prettier as it’s a woman’s show. Mrs. Gaythorne, 
 have you looked out of the window? ” 
 
 “Yes,” said Lettice. “ The hansom is there.” 
 “Tubby is awfully clever,” said Lord Richard, 
 with deep admiration. “ I always say there’s no 
 one like Tubby. I’d love you to know him. You 
 should just hear him telling stories ! ” 
 
 “ Then why not invite him here? ” 
 
 “Because — because I don’t want him to know 
 where I am quite yet.” 
 
 There was a pause of a few minutes. “Do you 
 mind looking again? ” said Lord Richard. 
 
 “ He’s still there ! 99 
 “ Oh ! ” 
 
 Lord Richard roved about the room. 
 
 “Jove, what a lot of rules you have,” he said, 
 naively reading a huge printed card. “I suppose 
 I couldn’t join this club, could I? ” 
 
 “We only bring men once a week unless they 
 are relations,” said Mrs. Gaythorne. She blushed. 
 
 “Unless they are relations? If they are* how 
 often may they come? 99 
 
248 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 44 As often as their relations bring them,” she 
 said, trying not to blush again. 
 
 “I wish I had more relations,” sighed Richard. 
 44 Do you mind looking out of the window again, 
 Mrs. Gaythorne? I’m awfully sorry to trouble 
 you.” 
 
 44 He is still there.” 
 
 “I know r Tubby. He’ll wait for hours,” cried 
 Lord Richard in mingled despair and respect. He 
 was aching and wearying to get Lettice alone and 
 tell her he loved her. It was cruel of Fate to inter- 
 vene in this fashion. His heart was beating wildly. 
 He supposed he could not tell her all about it in a 
 Women’s Club. 
 
 Lettice was talking to Agnes in a low voice. She 
 lifted her head and said : 
 
 44 Agnes can show you the back entrance. I 
 will leave by the front in half an hour’s time. 
 You’d better go at once. I’ll stand by this window 
 here.” 
 
 44 Come along,” said Agnes. She was very much 
 amused. 44 It’s just like a novel, isn’t it?” she 
 cried. She was awake for once. 
 
 She led Lord Richard downstairs and they met 
 several women and young girls in the hall. Lord 
 Richard was afraid he might know some of them 
 and be detained, so he hurried past with his eyes 
 averted. They passed dowm several long corridors 
 and finally arrived at a back door which led directly 
 into St. Quentin’s Street, a small and little-used 
 alley. 
 
 There was no one here but a man leaning against 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 249 
 
 a wall. It was not Tubby. Richard heaved a sigh 
 of relief. 
 
 “That’s a good thing!” said he. “I don’t 
 know what you must think of me, Miss Man- 
 nering. I give you my word of honour that I 
 am not a thief I Good-bye, and thank you so 
 much.” 
 
 Agnes looked after him and sighed. “ This is 
 all an adventure after Lettice’s own heart,” she 
 said to herself. “ It’s made her young again. She 
 was certainly getting rather subdued before the 
 advent of the tutor.” 
 
 Lettice had sent cook and Norah for holidays and 
 had installed the housekeeper from the cottage at 
 the flat with a country girl to help. She thought 
 that was a better plan than explaining Lord 
 Richard’s altered position to the household. When 
 Richard arrived at the flat he was warmly greeted 
 by Claude. 
 
 “ Is mummy coming ? ” said the little boy. “ And 
 may I feel in your pockets to see if you’ve been 
 buying anything for me? ” 
 
 Richard had remembered and produced a box of 
 chocolates from the suit-case. 
 
 “ What have you been doing with yourself, old 
 chap? ” he said. 
 
 “ Playing with Mrs. Hitchens. I telled her all 
 about you when you did wait on us when we had 
 dinner. You was a servant once, wasn’t you, 
 daddy? I’d like to be a servant or an engine- 
 driver.” 
 
 “He’s been making up the most ’orful tales, 
 
250 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 sir, bless his ’eart,” said the housekeeper, taking 
 Richard's suit-case off to his room. 
 
 Richard went into the morning-room and threw 
 himself down in a chair. He had a tremendous 
 feeling of victory. He had eluded Tubby. Good 
 old Tubby ! 
 
 Rut he would look him out directly his engage- 
 ment was settled. Surely Lettice would not refuse 
 him. He trembled at the thought and lit a 
 cigarette. 
 
 “ Your hand is shaking, daddy, ” said a voice at 
 his elbow. 64 When is mummy coming? ” 
 
 “She will be here very soon, Claude. ” 
 
 “ Could you possibly play bears with me in time 
 before she corned home? ” 
 
 “ I might. Fetch me a rug and I’ll go under the 
 table.” 
 
 The little boy dragged a covering from the sofa 
 and the game began. Meanwhile, at the club, 
 Lettice was talking to Agnes. The hansom with 
 Tubby in it still lingered outside. 
 
 “ He will have quite a good fare to pay, my 
 dear,” said Agnes, who had been let into Mrs. 
 Gaythorne’s confidence a good deal without having 
 been told anything very definite. This art is 
 practised to perfection by women when they wish. 
 
 “Supposing he follows me,” said Lettice, 
 nervously. 
 
 “He won’t, will he? It’s Lord Richard he 
 wants ? ” 
 
 “But supposing he follows me? ” 
 
 “ Well, if he does, I don’t see that there is much 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 251 
 
 harm in it. You say you think Lord Richard won’t 
 mind meeting him in a day or two.” 
 
 Agnes, guessing well that Richard was only wait- 
 ing till the proposal was made and accepted, smiled 
 most mischievously. 
 
 “ He could even wait in the hall,” said she. 
 
 “Nonsense, you don’t understand,” said Lettice, 
 hastily. “I think I’d better go. It’s nearly 
 seven,” she added, “and you are going, Agnes, 
 aren’t you? ” 
 
 “ I believe I promised to dine with the Stuart- 
 Gordons, but there’s no hurry.” 
 
 “I must go now,” said Lettice, decisively. 
 “ Thank you so much, darling. Come to tea on 
 Friday.” 
 
 She swept downstairs and out. Tubby bent for- 
 ward in his hansom and was bitterly disappointed 
 when no Arab appeared. 
 
 He bit his nails meditatively and decided to wait 
 a little longer, ordering the driver to take him a 
 little lower down the street. 
 
 Lettice reached Bollinger Terrace on the stroke 
 of half-past seven. She was met at the open door 
 of the flat by Claude and Richard. 
 
 “ We’ve had the door open for ever so long. 
 We’ve both been waiting for you.” 
 
 “Have you?” she said in her musical voice. 
 Richard thought she looked her prettiest. 
 
 “Mummy! ” cried Claude. “We’ve been play- 
 ing at all sorts of new games ! What have you 
 brought for me? ” 
 
 “ Here’s your parcel, darling. Now run away to 
 
252 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 the nursery,” said Lettice, after kissing him. 
 (i ‘ Mummy will come soon.” 
 
 He was now trained to obedience and trotted 
 away, hugging the present. Lettice went into the 
 drawing-room and Richard followed her. 
 
 “I left Mr. Bannister sitting in the cab,” she 
 said. “It’s all right.” 
 
 He came and leaned over her. 
 
 “Now Pm free,” he said. “I’m free, darling, 
 and I love you.” 
 
 She did not answer, but kept her eyes fixed on 
 the ground. 
 
 “Will you marry me? ” he said very low. 
 
 She put her hand in his. 
 
 “ Look at me,” he said. 
 
 She looked, and their lips met. 
 
 “ By Jove ! ” said Tubby from the door. 
 
 Lettice sprang to her feet and Richard turned 
 to face Mr. Bannister. 
 
 “What do you mean by following me?” he 
 shouted angrily. He was mollified almost instantly 
 by Tubby’s expression. 
 
 “I beg your pardon, old man — I had no idea. 
 Will you introduce me ” 
 
 “ Mrs. Gaythorne, this is Mr. Bannister. Tubby, 
 Mrs. Gaythorne is going to be my wife.” 
 
 He threw his handsome head back and smiled 
 radiantly. 
 
 “Well! ” said Tubby, shaking hands with both 
 of them. 
 
 “ Do sit down,” said Lettice, who had blushed 
 very prettily. “I’m sure you want an explanation. 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 253 
 
 But do tell me how you followed us? I left you 
 in a cab outside my club.” 
 
 4 ‘ And I left by the back way,” said Lord 
 Richard, puzzled. 
 
 “ I paid a man to watch the back way when I 
 saw you going into the club,” said Tubby, who 
 was now sitting on the sofa. “ Of course I wasn’t 
 such a fool as to forget that there was a back 
 entrance and that you might think of it. He 
 followed you here and then came back to my cab, 
 where I was despondently waitin’. Gave me the 
 address. I tipped him, taxied here, and found the 
 hall door open. I must apologise, Mrs. Gaythorne, 
 for walking straight in. I heard what I was sure 
 was Richard’s voice and I whisked right in to find 
 it!” 
 
 “ Well, you are clever, Tubby ! ” exclaimed Lord 
 Richard, sincerely. “ Who’d have guessed that 
 such a brain lay behind your rottenly small fore- 
 head? I’d never have thought of posting a fellow 
 at the back entrance. Now I come to think of 
 it, I did see a man standing about. I suppose 
 he followed me.” 
 
 “All the way.” 
 
 “ I’m sure you’re dying to talk to each other. 
 Mr. Bannister, you will stay to dinner with me? ” 
 said Lettice, rising. 
 
 Tubby glanced at his clothes. 
 
 “Oh, that does not matter. You must stay.” 
 She smiled at Richard and left the room. 
 
 “ I say, Richard, she’s lovely, and how' she can 
 tell fortunes ! ” said Tubby, very seriously. There 
 
254 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 seemed so much to say that it was difficult to 
 begin. 
 
 “ A good thing for you, Dick, that Miss Love- 
 joy’s engagement is announced — what? ” 
 
 “ Is it announced ? ” 
 
 “ It seems she told one or two of the people, 
 including the Duchess, before she left the bazaar. 
 She’s marrying that fellow who twangs on the banjo 
 and makes things to eat. Bulstrode, I think the 
 name is.” 
 
 “ It’s a narrow escape, Tubby.” 
 
 Richard leant back in his chair and told Tubby 
 the whole story. It was barely told when the gong 
 sounded. 
 
 “And now I’ve got her, Tubby, everything’s 
 different. I don’t mind what I do. I’ll go to 
 Bundleman’s or anything,” declared the newly- 
 accepted lover. 
 
 “ More likely you’ll go motoring abroad as you 
 tell me Mrs. Gaythorne is going to get a car.” 
 
 “ Here she is ! ” 
 
 They went in to dinner and talk was fast and 
 furious. Tubby began by relating the story of the 
 serpents of Brazil with enormous aplomb. He then 
 passed on to the subject of Madame X. 
 
 “I met Stivetheback and he said he was going 
 to retire to a monastery,” he announced. “It 
 seemed the only thing left.” 
 
 “ I fear I have sent Eliza Mont Blanc to the 
 stage,” laughed Lettice. “I was getting tired and 
 I agreed with all the ambitions she confided to me. 
 Her hand was very fat and awfully red.” 
 
LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 255 
 
 6 4 1 noticed Monty Newson, whom everyone thinks 
 rather a simple ass, pencilling in no end of lines 
 before he went to you,” said Lord Richard. 44 I 
 very nearly called out to him.” 
 
 64 You nearly answered me, I suppose, when Lady 
 Morenest sent me up to you,” said Tubby. 
 
 44 Rather not. Tubby, you might have stopped 
 mother from drinking her tonic publicly like that.” 
 44 Did you see the dear little box she carries 
 packed with medicine bottles ? I heard her offering 
 the Duchess aspirin, and the Duchess didn’t like it 
 at all. Then Lady Morenest said, 4 Why not take 
 some phenacetin? I’ve got it all here.’ The 
 Duchess is rather mean and she sometimes takes 
 phenacetin for her neuralgia, so she pocketed a 
 tabloid for future use.” 
 
 44 Father wasn’t there. Tubby.” 
 
 44 Oh, wasn’t he? He was showing his new game 
 to the Princess. Luckily he remembered all the 
 rules. She only understands German but she gave 
 the Royal look of approval — Lord Morenest was 
 fairly bucked up.” 
 
 44 How is Carter? ” 
 
 44 Carrying on. I met him wearing your grey 
 suit the other day and I told him about it. He 
 said he was sure you would wish him to do so.” 
 
 44 Good old Carter. I don’t mind.” 
 
 Lord Richard noticed that Lettice’s glass wag 
 empty. He rose and went to the sideboard. 
 
 44 The maid will be here in a moment, Richard.” 
 He took no notice but came to her and filled her 
 glass. 
 
256 LORD RICHARD IN THE PANTRY 
 
 “ Don’t you know I always loved waiting on you, 
 and always shall,” he whispered. 
 
 Tubby, wrestling with a chicken bone, fortun- 
 ately did not see or hear. He was talking steadily, 
 eating steadily, and steadily endeavouring to control 
 his eyeglass. 
 
 “I’m taking up yachting,” he announced. 
 “ Mainly because I look well in a yachtin’ cap. I’m 
 having a yacht built. It will be ready in a few 
 months’ time. And I want someone to christen 
 her. Bottle of wine, you know, spilt on the bows.” 
 
 “And who shall you invite to do it?” asked 
 Lettice. 
 
 He looked at her, raised his glass and smiled. 
 
 “ I shall ask Lady Richard Sandridge ! 99 
 
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