W 'b € $ S.'ccj 
 
 m 
 
 JL ■ eu ITJLjf JXi 
 
 [ « M F 
 
 »“ 11 5 
 
 s, 12 5 
 Life, 10 4 
 
 Bottle, . • » 
 
 Drunkard’s Doom, 
 Aunt Dinah’s Pledge* 
 
 ottlSt *.v 
 
 M F J MS- 
 
 11 6 I Temperance Doctor, • • 10 « 
 
 15 5 I Fruits of the Wine Cup, • t 
 
 6 3 I Drunkard’s Warning, Ic) 0 8 
 
 NO. CCXYI. 
 
 FRENCH ’ S MINOR DRAMA 
 
 ffjjf feting diifion. 
 
 MY YOUNG WIFE 
 
 AND 
 
 MY OLD UMBRELLA 
 
 A FAE.CE IN ONE ACT 
 
 Adapted from the IT r e n c 3ti. 
 
 BY BENJAMIN WEBSTER, Comedian. 
 
 '<1 WHICH ARE ADDED 
 
 A description of the Costume—Cast of the Characters—Entrances and Exits* 
 Relative Positions of the Performers on the Stage, and 
 the whole of the Stage Business. 
 
 AS NOW PERFORMED AT THE PRINCIPAL ENGLISH 
 AND AMERICAN THEATRES. 
 
 NEW YORK: 
 
 Samuel French & Son, 
 
 PUBLISHERS, 
 
 No. 13/8 Nassau Street, 
 
 L 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 Samuel French, 
 
 PUBLISHER, 
 
 80 STKAND. 
 
 •fx. 
 
 BOOKS EVERY AMATEUR SHOULD HAVE. 
 
 \fEUITS GUIDE; or. Howto Get up Home Theatricals and to Act in them, with Uulec,B^ 
 •» Selected Scenes, Plays and other useful information for Amateur Societies. Price25ctS 
 
 fUIDE TO THE STAGE. 15 cents. ART OF ACTING. 15 cents. 
 
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 sponsible for its return to the library from 
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 the University. 
 
 To renew call Telephone Center, 333-8400 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS LIBRARY AT URBANA-CHAMPAIGN 
 

 

 
/ 
 
 { 
 
 MY YOUNG WIFE, 
 
 AND 
 
 MY OLD UMBRELLA. 
 
 21 .farce. ~3n (Due 2lct. 
 
 J 
 
 ADAPTED FROM THE FRENCH. 
 
 BY 
 
 BENJAMIN WEBSTER, 
 
 COMEDIAN, 
 
 author of “ Laughing hyena,” ‘‘Swiss swains,” “queen of the market,* 
 
 “ BELPKEGOR,” “ GOLDEN FARMER,” ETC. ETC. 
 
 With original Casts\ Costumes , and all the Stage Business. As performed at 
 the principal Theatres in the United States. Marked and arranged by 
 Mr. J. B. Wright , Assistant Manager Boston Theatre. 
 
 J 
 
 NEW YORK: 
 
 6 A M IT E L F R E N C H 
 
 Vo. 122 Nassau Street, Up Statbr. 
 
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 George Allen. — Black surtout and waistcoat, and white 
 trousers. 
 
 Augustus Tomkins. — Light-green surtout, crimson velvet waist¬ 
 coat, light jean drab trousers, and eccentric hat. 
 
 Dinah. — Light-blue silk dress. 
 
fl 1 - 
 
 1 11 < 
 
 MY YOUNG WIFE, AND MY OLD 
 UMBRELLA. 
 
 SCENE I. A Chamber 2 and 3 g. ; a door in f. centre ; window in 
 flat, R., looking on a court and garden ; doors R. and l,1k; table 
 on r. h., with pens 9 ink and paper; two chairs on R. h., sofa on L. • 
 dinah, l., and prog, r., discovered seated; dinah at work , prog 
 reading the newspaper . 
 
 Prog. It’s all true, it’s all true, my dear Dinah ; the news I 
 received yesterday is confirmed ; my beautiful farm of Cutaway, near 
 Eton, is burned to the ground ! 
 
 Dinah. My dear father, this is a very great misfortune. 
 
 Prog. How do you know that ? Never judge by appearances. 
 
 Din. Why, surely, my dear papa, a destructive fire like this — 
 Prog. (Rising.) Hold your tongue, Miss Prog, or you ’ll put me in a 
 rage ; imitate my philosophy, and tune up « The Light of other Days ” 
 on your piano. 
 
 Din. (Rising.) But you know, papa, my piano is out of tune. 
 
 Prog. What does that signify ? can’t you play on the keys that are 
 in tune, and let them that are not, enjoy the air with me in silence ? 
 At any rate, you have no excuse for not getting it put in order. 
 
 Din. I have spoken to Mrs. Primmers, next door, and she has 
 promised me her tuner this morning. 
 
 Prog. Well, in case she should forget it, just go jog her memory. 
 Dm. Certainly, papa, I would not cross you for the world ; this 
 fire is enough to put you out of temper. 
 
 Prog. Look at me, cool as a cucumber in an ice-pail. Thanks to 
 the march of intellect, I know what philosophy is, and can bear this 
 loss with the calmness of a Cato. I can afford it, especially as it was 
 insured in the Sun fire-office. 
 
 Din. In the Sun ! excellent — why, my Cousin George is in that 
 office ; and I’m sure, if he could be of the least service to you — 
 
 Prog. Miss Prog, never speak of that young man to me. His 
 means are so small, he should neither make love nor marry— he can’t 
 afford it, so I have desired him to pay his addresses and visits elsewhere. 
 Dm. I m sure he’s a very nice young man. 
 
 Prog. How do you know that ? 
 
 Din. By his appearance. 
 
 Prog. Never judge by appearances. 
 
4 
 
 MY YOUNG WIFE, 
 
 Din. Then he has such a liberal mind ! 
 
 Prog. Without a penny in his pocket; most people are liberal* 
 minded, when they can’t afford to be otherwise, my dear. 
 
 Din. We have not seen him these eight days. 
 
 Prog. So much the better ; and, as I have promised you to another, 
 you must not see him any more, at any rate — 
 
 Enter George, d. in f. 
 
 Din. Here he is. 
 
 Prog. The devil! 
 
 George, (c.) Yes, sir, at your service. Don’t mind me, uncle ; 1’m 
 one of the family. 
 
 Prog, (r.) Yes, and you want to increase it. 
 
 Geo. My sweet cousin ! 
 
 Prog. Mr. George Allen, I am astonished — damme, I’m electrified. 
 Dinah, go to Mrs. Primmers, and see if the pianoforte-tuner is come. 
 Din. (l.) But, papa— 
 
 Prog. Miss Prog, must I speak twice? 
 
 Din. Good-morning, George. 
 
 Prog. Will you go? 
 
 Din. La, papa ! ( ExU f d. in f.) 
 
 Prog walks up to George, with a very severe look , and is about to 
 speak , when George checks him. 
 
 Geo. I have just heard of your misfortune, uncle ; and, as one of 
 the family, I have come to offer you my services. 
 
 Prog. I ’m obliged to you ; but, as I have nothing to do, I shall not 
 trouble you. 
 
 Geo . Trouble? it would be my pleasure, uncle. In adversity, 
 friends should prove what they before professed. 
 
 Prog. Sir, my firm cost me 6000/. Well, I could afford it; it 
 was insured for 8000/. Well, they can afford it ; and, as it is burnt 
 to ashes, they must down with the dust: so you see “ it is an ill wind 
 that blows nobody good.” 
 
 Geo. My dear uncle, I am afraid you reckon without your host ; 
 that you will not get a shilling from them. 
 
 Prog. What ? 
 
 Geo. They assert that your farm was fired through wilful neglect; 
 and if they can prove it your policy might as well have been burnt 
 with your property. 
 
 Prog. {Jumping up.) I’m ruined ! I’m ruined! all my savings 
 gone ! After keeping a shilling ordinary for thirty years I shall want 
 dinner. I’m dished at last. 
 
 Geo. Never mind, sir, as one of the family — 
 
 Prog. As one of the plagues of Egypt ! 
 
 Geo. I have not the plague spot in my hand when I offer it to you, 
 and ask you to share my earnings. 
 
 Prog. George, but for this accident you should not repent this kind¬ 
 ness. 
 
 Geo. But for this accident I could not have proved my disinterested 
 
 regard for you. 
 
 Prog. But I ’ll not stand it. I ’ll go to law. I ’ll serve them with 
 
 a fieri facias. 
 
AND MY OLD UMBRELLA. 
 
 5 
 
 Geo. Don’t put yourself in a passion. 
 
 Prog. Why not? my constitution is strong, and I can afford it 
 Damme, it’s the only thing I can afford now ! 
 
 Geo. Coolness and caution must be our weapons ; nothing is yet 
 decided ; I have some influence with the directors ; they are always open 
 to reason, and you shall not be wronged out of your rights, if I can 
 help it. 
 
 Prog . O, you dear boy! your kindness is engraven here. I ’ll 
 not say more now, only recommend you to keep secret that my farm is 
 insured ; something may happen. I am rather anxious that my in¬ 
 tended son-in-law should not know. 
 
 Geo. Your intended son-in-law ! Mr. Augustus, whom I have seen 
 with you two or three times? 
 
 Prog . The same ; he’s a musical director of concerts in the suburbs, 
 as harmonious as disinterested ; he counts on having 4000/ with Di¬ 
 nah, but, thanks to the fire, I dare say he ’ll be content with half. 
 
 Geo . Not a word shall escape my lips. This Mr. Tompkins is very 
 rich, then ? 
 
 Prog . Not yet, but with the money I shall advance him, he will be. 
 He is going to start a perambulating concert-room — a magnificent 
 idea — engage a host of foreigners, and visit all the principal towns in 
 the world. 
 
 Geo . And you would give your daughter to a man like this — a 
 perambulating musician ? 
 
 Prog. What can I do better? I love music —love it passionately ! 
 Why not ? I can afford it. 
 
 Grizzle. ( Without , d. in f.) 0, very well, first door on the right; 
 thank you — much obliged. 
 
 Prog. Some one comes. (To Geo.) My dear boy, I have no hope 
 but in you. 
 
 Geo . Rely upon my zeal. I ’ll return to the office, meet me there 
 in an hour, and bring your policy of insurance with you. 
 
 (Exit d. in i ) 
 
 Enter Grizzle, d. in f. 
 
 Grizzle, (l.) Mr. Prog? 
 
 Prog, (r.) The same. 
 
 Griz. You Mr. Prog? 
 
 Prog. I am the gentleman. 
 
 Griz. Gentleman! 
 
 Prog. Does that astonish you ? 
 
 Griz. You kept an ordinary ? 
 
 Prog. Yes, sir. 
 
 Griz. At a shilling a head ? 
 
 Prog. Yes, sir. 
 
 Griz. I ’ve dined with you often. (Sighing.) 0 dear ! 
 
 Prog. Why do you sigh ? 
 
 Griz. Sigh ! it’s enough to make any man sigh ( Spitefully ), to 
 think that an ordinary man, at a shilling a head, beer included (that 
 is, small), has made his fortune ; while I, who helped you into this 
 galloping consumption of eatables, am poor and out at elbows — ’t i» 
 humiliating, is it not? 
 
 Prog. Sir, this language — 
 
6 
 
 MY YOUNG WIFE, 
 
 Qriz. Why, you—(Calming his rage) —Fm wrong, excuse me— 
 misfortune ha9 soured me—I am a lost individual! 
 
 Prog. Oh ! I see. .(Aside.) A shabby-genteel beggar. Fll give him 
 sixpence and get rid of him. ( Takes money from Ms pocket.) Here, 
 friend, I am not rich, and this is all I can afford. (Offering him 
 
 money.) . 
 
 Qriz. Sixpence ! sixpence !—do you mean to insult me I 
 
 Prog. Who and what the devil are you ? 
 
 Qriz. You don’t know me—nothing personal? Then all’s forgot¬ 
 ten_forgiven. I’m Mr. Gregory Grizzle, pianoforte-tunei. 
 
 Prog. Recommended by Mrs. Smith ? 
 
 Qriz. Even so. 
 
 Prog. Why didn’t you say so at first ? 
 
 Griz. I forgot it. When I looked at you, your face recalled a thou¬ 
 sand things to my recollection ; above all, it reminded me of my wife. 
 
 Prog. Is she like me ? 
 
 Qriz. Like you! nasty brute! I see you wish to insult me. 
 
 Prog. I tell you I don’t. 
 
 Qriz. Like you! Not so bad as that, neither; no, sir, no; but 
 we used to dine at your house together. 
 
 Prog. Ah, indeed ! then you— 
 
 Qriz. Exactly so. Poor Emma! Curses on the villain who stole 
 my Emma from me! for, spite of myself, I regret her loss. 
 
 Prog. Have you lost her, then ? 
 
 Qriz. No, she has lost herself; but don’t let us speak of that 
 (Crying) Whenever I think of her my heart is ready to burst. 
 
 Prog. Indeed! Poor man ; how I pity you. 
 
 Griz. Sir, I require no man’s pity; no one shall pity me, sir; to 
 
 pity me is to insult me. 
 
 Prog. Well, I won’t pity you; so go and tune my daughters 
 piano. To-night we will sign her marriage-contract, and ’tis a good occa¬ 
 sion for showing off her talent. ,. 
 
 Qriz. I heard of this marriage, this morning, at Mrs. JenKins ! 
 You know Mrs. J.—delightful woman to chat with—speaks ill of 
 everybody. 
 
 Prog. Indeed! 
 
 Griz. She says that your daughter does not love Mr. Tomkins, and 
 that she is very fond of her cousin, Mr. George Allen. It’s no affair 
 of mine,—I know neither one nor the other,—but, take my word for 
 it, my Emma’s example may be followed. 
 
 Prog. Well, time will show; but I have to go out on business; 
 and, as it is going to rain— 
 
 Griz. (Quickly) Is it really going to rain ? 
 
 Prog. Yes, and I must make haste before it come3 down, 
 
 Griz. And to think that I don’t know the scoundrel who has car¬ 
 ried off what I prized so dearly. 
 
 Prog. Ah, your wife ? 
 
 Griz. No, my umbrella. 
 
 Prog. Your umbrella ? 
 
 Griz. There must have been a plot against me; a man whom 1 
 have never seen; well, sir, he has deprived me of her. 
 
 Prog. Her ? Was it a feminine umbrella ? 
 
 Qriz, No, my ma. 
 
AND MY OLD UMBRELLA. 
 
 7 
 
 Prog. Yourma? 
 
 Griz. Yes, her name is Emma ; for shortness, I call her ma, my 
 lawful wedded wife, a lovely young creature, besides a family umbrella 
 that had walked with grandfather, father, and son, on every cloudy 
 day — only eighteen years old, with flaxen ringlets, a mouth like a 
 rose, a Grecian nose — she wished to make a parasol of it. 
 
 Prog. Of her nose ? 
 
 Griz. No, no, of my umbrella, an heir-loom ; — the villain, to de¬ 
 prive me of them both ! 
 
 Prog. .’T is a sad business, but permit me to observe — 
 
 Griz. (Quickly.) On that very day it rained in torrents, and I 
 had returned home for my lamented — umbrella ; but, imagine irr' 
 horror, I found neither umbrella nor wife. 
 
 Prog. My good friend, that is not the point in question. 
 
 Griz. But there ’s the crime, sir. Wives run away every day , 
 that ’s nothing. Very likely they have taken away yours ; but the* 
 dare not take away your umbrella. There ’s the crime — your wife 4 
 not your goods ; but your umbrella is. If a man run away with your 
 umbrella, he’s transported ; but, if he runs away with your wife, he’s 
 delighted. 
 
 Prog. Well, sir, if you will not listen to me — 
 
 Griz. I ’ll show you proof; a note (Feeling in his pockets) , — no 
 I have n’t got it about me, but I remember all the expressions : “ Beau¬ 
 tiful Emma, cease to be sorrowful; to-morrow, at two, I will tear you 
 from your tyrant, and conduct you to — j r ou know where ’ ’ — but no 
 name — no, no ; the scoundrel! Well, sir, I was like a madman ; I 
 rushed into the street without my hat, went to all my friends and 
 neighbors, and gave an exact description of her — covered with green 
 silk, an ivory hawk’s head, and mother-of-pearl eyes. Now, have I 
 not cause to hate the whole human race ? You have done me no harm, 
 but I hate you ; and, when it rains, I hate myself, I hate the world, I 
 hate everything ! 
 
 Prog. But, my good sir, what have I to do with your wife or your 
 umbrella? 
 
 Griz. Enough, sir, I understand you. Where is your umbrella? 
 
 Prog. My what ? 
 
 Griz. I beg pardon, your piano. 
 
 Prog. (Showing him to room r.) In that room — put it in proper 
 order— I don’t care about the expense — I can afford it. 
 
 Griz (Crosses r.) Ha, ha, insult my poverty, do, do ! 
 
 Prog. (Aside.) What a queer fellow ! (Rain.) 
 
 Griz. (Aside.) An old, selfish, poisoning, shilling-ordinary rascal, 
 to have made a fortune by the digestive organs, when, with tuning 
 pianofortes, I am as poor as Job ! but I was born to misery, so it’s my 
 fathers’s fault, not mine. (Goes into room R. h, 1 e.) 
 
 Prog. I thought I should never get rid of him. Ah ! there’s the 
 rain coming down in torrents ; but it must n’t prevent me from going 
 to the insurance office. I must take a coach ; I can afford it, and I will. 
 
 Enter Augustus Tomkins, d. in f., closing umbrella. 
 
 Tomkins, (l.) Good-morning, father-in-law. 
 
 Prog, (r.) 0 ! ’tis you, Augustus, is it? What a storm ! 
 
8 
 
 MY YOUNG WIFE, 
 
 Tom. Yes, horrid ; 1’ve just stepped over with a bouquet for my 
 intended. ( Showing it.) I would n’t wait for a coach, so trusted to 
 my umbrella. Where the devil shall I put it ? It’s famously soaked. 
 
 Prog. I ’ll put it in my study. ( Goes into room , 1 e., i. H.) 
 
 Tom. Thank you. It’s very strange he does not appear more seri¬ 
 ous ; ’t is a false alarm, no doubt. 
 
 Prog. {Reentering from room i.) Well, son-in-law, how goes on 
 the music ? 
 
 Tom. (r.) Better than ever ; the age is decidedly musical, and we 
 are daily becoming more melodious. 
 
 Prog. Glad to hear it; hope you will soon make your fortune. 
 
 Tom . Be assured I shall. I have several capital plans. You cannot 
 imagine what I have in my head ; I have millions there. By the by, 
 I have come to ask you to advance me a few hundreds. 
 
 Prog. Sorry, my dear Tomkins, very sorry ; but I am unfortunately 
 in a very distressing position. 
 
 Tom. Indeed ! then it’s true that your farm is burnt down ? 
 
 Prog. Too true, my dear friend- 
 
 Tom. The devil! ( Puts the bouquet in his pocket. ) 
 
 Prog. Consequently, you must feel that the fortune of my daughter 
 must suffer by it, and, since you have millions in your head, it can 
 matter very little to you whether I give my daughter a few hundreds 
 more or less. 
 
 Tom. {Aside.) So, so, a few hundreds ! 
 
 Prog. Have you any objections ? 
 
 Tom. None, none, I assure you. 
 
 Prog. Very well, then we will sign the contract to-night; I must 
 leave you now, for I have to go into the city on particular business. 
 Dinah will be here directly, and I think you like her company better 
 than mine. ( Exit , ». in f.) 
 
 Tom. Ha ! ha ! ha ! I won’t contradict you. The devil! I am 
 nicely taken in ; I reckoned on receiving at least 4000Z. with the girl; 
 I dare say now he won’t give her half, perhaps only 500Z. cash ; the 
 other live I have already touched ; he thinks I will marry his daughter 
 — I had made up my mind to it. I have broken off my affair with 
 Emma, old Grizzle the pianoforte-tuner’s wife ; she was invulnerable, 
 and, I hear, is gone back to her husband. I will not marry old Prog’s 
 daughter ; — but stay, if I refuse, the old fellow will be furious, and 
 arrest me for the money I owe him, and I have not a shilling in the 
 world. I must arrange that the refusal shall come from him. Ah ! 
 an idea — a double bass idea — my father-in-law does n’t know my 
 handwriting, and an anonymous letter will do the business. ( Sits 
 down.) I ’ll say I’m a drunkard, a gambler, and a libertine, without 
 honor or honesty, morals or conduct; a liar, a scoundrel, and every¬ 
 thing else that is respectable in that way. { Writing at table r.) 
 “ I heard, sir, that you are on the point of uniting your daughter ”— 
 um — um — um — 
 
 Grizzle enters from room r. h., 1 e. {Rain.) 
 
 Grizzle. {Crosses l.) My usual luck ! I’ve broken two strings. I 
 must go and buy some. 
 
 Tom. The devil! I *m not alone. 
 
AND MY OLD UMBRELLA. 
 
 B 
 
 Griz. There is a shop close at hand. (Perceiving Tomk ;-s.) iih i 
 who’s that ? 
 
 Tom. I have never seen this person before ; ’t is a new servant, no 
 doubt. ( Writes again.) 
 
 Griz . Can this be the intended of the young lady, or only the cousin ? 
 
 Tom. There, it is done. (Folding letter.) 
 
 Griz . ( Going to window , in flat , r.) Let me see if it rains, still. 
 
 Tom. Now for the address. 
 
 Griz. Pouring ! — never mind ; I ’ll run through it, ’t is not far. 
 (Going.) 
 
 Tom. I say, my friend ! 
 
 Griz. His friend ! 
 
 Tom. Do you know if there is a twopenny post-office in this neigh¬ 
 borhood ? 
 
 Griz. There is one opposite the music-shop. (Sulkily.) 
 
 Tom. Is it far ? 
 
 Griz. About one hundred and fifty yards. 
 
 Tom. Far enough to get wet; and this letter should be put into the 
 office directly. 
 
 Griz. Give me your letter, and I will throw it into the box as I 
 pass. (Takes it.) 
 
 Tom. Thank you, my good man. By the by, I can lend you an 
 umbrella. 
 
 Griz. An umbrella ! Do you mean to insult me ? 
 
 Tom. Hey ! 
 
 Griz. (At the door.) I had one once, a family relic — no matter, 
 no matter. 
 
 Tom. I assure you, my dear fellow — (Rain.) 
 
 Griz. (Going up to him.) Your dear fellow! That’s what my 
 wife used to say, and when it rained, as it does now, would keep me 
 dry as hay — no matter ; your umbrella! ha ! ha ! ha ! your um¬ 
 brella ! (Exit , d. in f.) 
 
 Tom. A monstrous queer fellow ! What the devil did he mean ? 
 Never mind, he has done me a service ; thanks to him, I can have an 
 interview with my intended before I leave the house, and adroitly pre¬ 
 pare her for the rupture I meditate. Ah ! here she is ! 
 
 Enter Dinah, d. in f. 
 
 Dinah, (l.) Did you wish to see me ? 
 
 Tom. (r.) I am always wishing to see you, charming Dinah ; but 
 I fear the wish is not reciprocal on your part. 
 
 Din. Have I said anything to make you think that your presence 
 was disagreeable to me ? 
 
 Tom. No ; but yet, in spite of yourself, I have perceived — per¬ 
 haps another more fortunate than myself— 
 
 Din. Another ! What would you say, sir? 
 
 Enter George, d. in f. 
 
 Tom. Your cousin, doubtless, can answer for me. 
 
 Din George! 5 
 
 Tom. Come in, Mr. Allen ; come in, sir. 
 
 George. How I detest the fellow ! (Aside.) 
 
 Tom. I am sorry ; one too many, I perceive. ! 
 
10 
 
 MY YOUNG WIFE, 
 
 Geo. What do you say, sir ? 
 
 Tom Nothing ; but there are secrets that have not escaped my 
 penetration. No, my friends, you do not know me. Augustus Tom¬ 
 kins, the natural protector of love and harmony, disunite two hearts 
 beating in unison ? Never ! No — I ’ll sacrifice myself for you. Your 
 happiness shall be mine. No thanks — adieu ! What I feel here will 
 
 reward me sufficiently. Adieu—be happy ’. be happy ! . 
 
 (Runs off , d. in r.) 
 
 Geo. What does this mean ? Explain. 
 
 Din. Why, he, no doubt, knows you have paid your addresses to 
 
 m *Geo. He knows that I love you, and you think that he is generous 
 enough to resign you? Hope returns to me. f 
 
 Din. You conclude too fast; there is still my father s consent 
 
 "t^Never fear ; I have some good news for him — news that will 
 make him happy. 
 
 Din. Indeed ! then I begin to have hopes myselt. 
 
 Geo. You love me, then? 0, celestial cousin ! 
 
 (Kisses her hand.) 
 
 Grizzle appears at door in f. 
 
 Geo. The devil! (Runs off, door L.H..U 
 
 Tin. A stranger ! . '(-Run* off, door R. h., H) 
 
 Griz. So, so. I’ve spoilt their billing and cooing; twas Miss 
 
 p r0 g_lets a young man kiss her hand before she is married - Hum 
 
 — hum — they ’re all alike. This it is to teach girls to play Love 
 among the roses,” on the piano ; but, apropos, the young man who 
 confided this letter to me must be mad. As I was putting it into the 
 post, I looked at the address ; and, to my astonishment, I read, lo 
 Peter Prog, Esq. the Peter Prog, who lives here, no doubt; and 
 so I thought I would save the old fellow twopence by delivering it 
 myself. I hate the human race, but, such is my character, I Will 
 always save a man twopence, if I can, when it costs me nothmg. 
 
 Enter Pjro a, d. in v. 
 
 Prop, (l.) I could n’t find my nephew at the office. 
 
 Griz. (r.) Talk of the devil — Mr. Prog. 
 
 Proa. Ah, Mr. Grizzle ! is the piano in order? 
 
 Griz. Not yet — an accident; these sort of things are always hap¬ 
 pening to me particularly ; but that’s nothing — there is a letter for 
 you. 
 
 Prop. A letter ! from my nephew 7 
 
 Griz. Very likely, he looked like one of the family. 
 
 Prop . Yes, he’s a fine fellow ! ( Opening letter.) 
 
 Griz. I merely meant in manners. , , 
 
 Prog. (Trying to read.) The - he - hear - hum-what a 
 
 scrawl! ’tis impossible to .decipher a syllable ; only look at it. ( Giv¬ 
 ing letter to Grizzle.) _ .. . - 0 . 
 
 Griz. Really, it seems to have been written by a fly that has acc - 
 dentally dropped into the ink. 
 
AND MY OLD UMBRELLA. 
 
 11 
 
 Prog. What ’s the signature ? 
 
 Griz. It has none. 
 
 Prog . ’T is very singular. 
 
 Griz . I think I can make it out. {Beading.) “I hear, sir, that 
 you are on the point of uniting,’* — Surely I know this hand. 
 
 Prog. Why do you stop? 
 
 Griz. Be quiet, be quiet — “on the point of u-uniting your 
 daughter to Mr. Augustus Tomkins. I think it necessary to warm 
 you ” — eh ! warm you? 
 
 Prog. To warn you. 
 
 Griz. It looks exactly like warm — “ to warn you that he is a lib¬ 
 ertine, a bad-conducted fellow, and a gambler.” 
 
 Prog. What an atrocious calumny ! 
 
 Griz. Mr. Anonymous may be a rival. 
 
 Prog. Ah, true, my nephew ! The rascal has disguised his hand. 
 
 Griz. I should think so, or else he was educated before charity- 
 schools were in vogue. 
 
 Prog. Go on. 
 
 Griz. “ At this very moment he is living with a young woman 
 whom he has carried off from her husband.” {Laughing.) Ha ! ha ! 
 capital ! capital! 
 
 Prog. It makes you laugh, then. 
 
 Griz. Yes, yes ; I have a sort of ferocious joy on such occasions. 
 Another husband deceived, ha ! ha ! ha ! — so much the better ; the 
 more the merrier. {Laughing.) Ha ! ha ! ha ! 
 
 Prog. Go on, go on. 
 
 Griz. “You will not doubt what I advance, when you know the 
 lady’s name.” Ah ! ha ! now we shall know who she is. 
 
 Prog. It seems to delight you. 
 
 Griz. To be sure, to be sure; you never had a wife taken from 
 you, or you’d be as pleased as I am — “ This young woman is called 
 Emma ” — 0 Lord ! I’m very ill. {Sinks into a chair.) 
 
 Prog. Emma! {Taking letter.) 
 
 Griz. I must have made a mistake. 
 
 Prog. No; “ Emma, and her husband is Mr. Gregory Grizale, 
 pianoforte-tuner.” Why, that’s you ! 
 
 Griz. Yes, yes ; I am the unhappy wretch ! 0, villanous Tom¬ 
 kins ! I shall know you at last. You, then, have carried off my 
 umbrella. 
 
 Prog. Still, I ’ll not believe that Tomkins — 
 
 Griz. But I ’ll believe it. Where is he ? Where does he live ? 
 Name his place of abode, that I may annihilate him, crush him to 
 bits ? 
 
 Prog. Don’t put yourself in a passion. 
 
 Griz. Why not? I ought to be in a passion, and I will be so. Has 
 he not left me for the last fortnight exposed to all the inclemencies of 
 society and the weather? 
 
 Prog . Still you must not condemn him unheard. 
 
 Griz. But I will condemn him unheard. 
 
 Prog. I’ll go to him, and if he doesn’t justify himself, I will find 
 another son-in-law — I can afford it. 
 
 Griz. Perhaps you can, but I can’t afford it. But where shall I 
 find another family umbrella ? 
 
 15 OF ILL L r B 
 
12 
 
 MY YOUNG WIFE, 
 
 Prog. Will you wait for me here till the affair is explained ? 
 
 Griz. Well, well, I will ; but make haste, for I ’m in such a state ot 
 nervous excitement I shall do something desperate. ( Takes up a chaii 
 and flourishes it over his head.) 
 
 Prog. Be calm, be calm ! I ’ll return immediately. ( Exit d. in f.) 
 
 Griz. Now, Tomkins! damnable Tomkins ! you cannot escape 
 me. Hide yourself where you will, I ’ll find you — stay ; on enter¬ 
 ing this room, a little while ago, the individual who was kissing Miss 
 Prog’s hand, — if it should be Tomkins ! — he is there in that room. 
 ( Pointing to door , l.) 0 heavens ! thoughts of murder and blood 
 
 flash across my mind. (George appearing at door l., with the 
 umbrella.) 
 
 George . Mr. Prog does not come, so I ’ll return to the counting- 
 house, notwithstanding the rain. 
 
 Griz . There he is. 
 
 Geo. I have taken the liberty of borrowing this umbrella, which I 
 found in the room. 
 
 Griz. (r.) Umbrella ! my umbrella, by all that’s horrible ! ’T is 
 he, no doubt — Tomkins, the destroyer of my peace. 
 
 Geo. ( Going.) I ’ll bring it back at night. 
 
 Griz . You shall not stir. ( Standing before the door in F.) 
 
 Geo. What would you with me, friend? 
 
 Griz. I have found you at last, wretch ! Look at me ! Let me 
 examine you face to face ! He’s not even good-looking. 
 
 Geo. Sir, I am as fond of a joke as any man, from those I know ; 
 but from you, a total stranger— 
 
 Griz. A stranger ! You don’t know me ! but you shall, you shall 
 ( Mysteriously.) Grizzle? 
 
 Geo. No. 
 
 Griz . Pianoforte-tuner ? 
 
 Geo. No. 
 
 Griz. Air-street? 
 
 Geo. No. 
 
 Griz. Husband of Emma ? 
 
 Geo. No. 
 
 Griz. No ! you don’t know me ? But you have got my umbrella, 
 infamous robber 1 Do you know me now ? Do you deny my um¬ 
 brella? 
 
 Geo. Does it belong to you, then ? 
 
 Griz. You know it does. 
 
 Geo. For what do you take me, then ? 
 
 Griz. For a reptile, a knave of hearts, a thief! 
 
 Geo. This is beyond bearing, and if you persist— ( Raising 
 
 umbrella.) 
 
 Griz. Strike — do — assassinate me — put the finishing blow to 
 your crimes, and bring yourself to the gallows ! Ah ! you dare not 
 do it ; you fear the scaffold, coward that you are ! (In a sepulchral 
 voice.) The scaffold ! the scaffold ! 
 
 Geo. Stand out of the way then. 
 
 Griz. You stir not hence — give me back my wife! Where is 
 she ? Where is she — where is Emma ? 
 
 Geo. Once more, will you leave me alone ? 
 
 Griz. Give me back my wife. 
 
AND MY OLD UMBRHLLA. 
 
 13 
 
 Geo. Go to the devil! 
 
 Gnz. Then let me go to my wife." You won’t? — then keep her; 
 ’twill be a sufficient punishment ; but, at least, give me back my 
 umbrella ; my wife is culpable, but my umbrella — give me back my 
 umbrella. 
 
 Geo. Are you mad ? 
 
 Griz. Yes—my umbrella, my umbrella ! {Seizing it.) 
 
 Geo. You shall not have it. {Holding it.) 
 
 Griz. Leave go, sir, leave go ! ( Pulling.) 
 
 Geo. I won’t! I won’t! {Pulling.) 
 
 Griz. 0, you thief! you unfeeling robber ! {Pulling.) 
 
 Enter Dinah d. r. h., 1 e. 
 
 Dinah. What is the meaning of this noise ? 
 
 Griz. Come here, Miss {Pulling), and let your presence con¬ 
 found him. 
 
 George. Don’t listen to him, Dinah ; he is mad. 
 
 Griz. Hold your tongue, you cannibal ! hold your tongue ! I des¬ 
 pise you ! Yes, miss ; this man, who is making love to you, is a vil¬ 
 lain — you know you are ! Taking advantage of the rain one day, he 
 walked off with my wife, — a vile seducer ! — and has lived, for the 
 last fortnight, with my umbrella. 
 
 Din. Good gracious ! 
 
 Griz. Never marry him, never ! In the first place, I know you 
 would n’t like him — I know you would n’t ; besides, I can give you 
 other reasons — I can, you highway robber, you know I can ! — Mr. 
 Prog knows all about it. 
 
 Geo. ' Mr. Prog ? 
 
 Griz. {Letting go the umbrella.) Never mind, you cannot escape 
 me. I go to seek for a letter — your rascally letter ; after that, l will 
 never leave you — never ! 
 
 Geo. Leave the room, sir ! 
 
 Enter Tomkins, d. in r. 
 
 Tomkins. What’s the matter ? 
 
 Griz. ( To Tomkins.) 0, my dear friend, thanks to you, I shall be 
 revenged ! {To George.) 0, you villain ! 
 
 Geo. Leave the room, sir, or by Heaven — 
 
 Griz. The scaffold — the scaffold — Newgate — Monday morning, 
 eight o’clock — my wife — my umbrella ! {Exit, D. in E.) 
 
 Tom. (c.) What does he mean ? 
 
 Geo. (l.) Really, I don’t know ; he has been abusing me in an 
 outrageous manner, but for what I cannot imagine. 
 
 Din. (r.) What he said was very clear ; — your conduct is shame¬ 
 ful. 
 
 Geo. Why, cousin, he’s mad ! 
 
 Din. No such thing, sir ; I have seen him at Mrs. Primrose’s often, 
 and I believe everything he has said about you. 
 
 Geo. Indeed ! {Crosses to her.) He told me just now that he knew 
 you could not bear me. 
 
 Tom. (l.) What’s all this? A quarrel between two lovers who 
 adore each other. 
 
 2 
 
14 
 
 MY YOUNG WIFE, 
 
 Din, I can never love a man of intrigue. 
 
 Geo. Nor I a coquette. ( Crosses to l.) 
 
 Tom. (c.) Come, come, be friends ; follow my advice. I have a 
 right to give it, since I have sacrificed my own love. 
 
 Din. You were wrong, Mr. Tomkins, for ’tis you alone whom I 
 esteem, and I am ready to marry you. 
 
 Geo. Perfidious woman ! 
 
 Tom. The devil! this will never do. {Aside.) 
 
 Din. When my father returns I will tell him so. 
 
 Tom. I beg pardon, I merely called for my umbrella. 0, you have 
 it in your hand ! 
 
 Geo. Is this umbrella yours, then? 
 
 Tom. Certainly. 
 
 Geo. Indeed ! it was claimed by another person just now. 
 
 Tom. Mr. Prog will certify to you that it is mine. 
 
 Geo. {Giving it.) That’s sufficient — I know you — there it is. 
 {Aside.) I’m out of that scrape. 
 
 Tom. Adieu, my friends — make it up — too happy that your hap¬ 
 piness is my work. {Going to exit through door in f., stopped by Mr. 
 Prog, who enters d. f. ) 
 
 Prog. Ah ! Tomkins, I have just been to your house. 
 
 Tom. Indeed ! 
 
 Prog. (l. c.) I have learnt some fine things about you, sir. 
 
 Tom. (r. c.) {Aside.) Good ! he has received my letter. 
 
 Prog. 1 hope you will be able to clear yourself; otherwise I — Ah, 
 nephew ! Well ? 
 
 Geo. (l.) Some excellent news, — the insurance will be paid to the 
 utmost farthing. 
 
 Tom. {Aside.) What do I hear? Your farm, then, was insured? 
 
 Prog. For a third more than its value. 
 
 Tom. I’ve made a nice thing of this. Father-in-law, I rejoice at 
 your good fortune, and hope you will, at once, fix the day for my union 
 with your charming daughter. 
 
 Prog. To the point. {Taking out letter.) I have been written to, 
 sir ; I have in my hand a letter relative to you — 
 
 Tom. A letter ! 
 
 Prog. Which speaks of all sorts of dreadful things. Yes, sir, it 
 states that you have enticed a certain Emma, the wife of a Mr. Grizzle, 
 pianoforte-tuner, from her home. 
 
 Din. ’T is he then. 
 
 Geo. You see how everything comes out. 
 
 Tom. I have enemies, Mr. Prog, and, above all, a rival ; there he 
 is, and’t is he alone can have written that infamous letter. 
 
 Geo. (Taking letter from Prog.) Look, uncle, is this my writing ? 
 
 Tom. Pshaw ! You have, of course, disguised your hand, and he 
 has put the Grizzle affair to my account, when he is the guilty jarty. 
 
 Din. Just now Mr. Grizzle had a dreadful scene with him. 
 
 Tom. You hear. 
 
 Geo. I shall choke with rage. 
 
 Din. Cousin, your conduct is abominable ! 
 
 Geo. Mr. Tomkins, we must fight, sir ! 
 
 Tom. Pooh, nonsense ! 
 
 Prog. Go, sir, leave the house — I’ve done with you, sir, forever. 
 
 Geo. My uncle, you arc deceived. 
 
AND MY OLD UMBRELLA. 
 
 16 
 
 Enter Grizzle, door in f. 
 
 Grizzle. (Pointing out George.) Ah ! there he is ! My dear friend, 
 let me embrace you. (Embraces him.) 
 
 Prog. Here’s another. 
 
 Geo. ( l .) You suffocate me. 
 
 Griz. (l. c) Don’t try to shun my gratitude; you are the most 
 generous of men; yes, you see before you-the most generous of men. 
 
 Prog, (c.) My friend, have the kindness to speak intelligibly, for 
 upon my word, at present— 
 
 Griz. Mr. Prog, this morning you saw me melancholy, misanthrop¬ 
 ical ; the chain of my existence was unhinged; I was like a piano with 
 the strings broken, all jar and discord; but now I’m in tune again; 
 for, on entering my house just now, I found— 
 
 Prog. Your umbrella ? 
 
 Griz. No; my wife, my Emma ! 
 
 Tom. (l. c.) (Aside.) Emma ! 
 
 Griz. The dear Emma threw herself into my arms,—a thing she 
 never did before ; and to whom do I owe this happiness ? To him whom 
 I accused, to this excellent and good friend, Tomkins. (To George.) 
 
 Geo. You are still in the umbrella error. 
 
 Griz. Hold your tongue, you perfection of Mr, Tomkins’! let me 
 publish your virtues. Mr. Prog, my wife is very jealous ; my profession 
 of pianoforte-tuner brings me in contact with numberless young ladies. 
 Emma did not like it; she was tenacious of her Grizzle ; so much so 
 that she had almost determined to throw herself into the river. 
 
 Prog. Well, well. 
 
 Griz. I should, however, tell you she had taken with her my 
 umbrella. This gentleman (To George), passing at the time, saw, ou 
 Waterloo Bridge, my young wife leaning on the umbrella—no, no 
 on the parapet! He ran and found her drowned— 
 
 Prog. Drowned ? 
 
 Griz. In tears. He consoled her, and walked with her home, carry¬ 
 ing in his hand my grandfather’s umbrella, which in his hurry he for¬ 
 got to return. (Shaking George’s hand.) Good creature ! Emma beg¬ 
 ged him to escort her to her aunt’s, who lives at Putney, and J tia 
 that which gave rise to that letter which caused all my suspicions. 
 
 Prog. Yes, yes, “charming Emma!” 
 
 Griz. “ Dry your sorrows.” 
 
 Prog. “ To-morrow about—” 
 
 Griz. “Two o’clock,” &c. &c., you know it was as well as I do. 
 ( Giving letter to George.) There it is; I return it to you, generouf 
 man. You have triumphed over my blue devils, and I feel again in m, 
 heart love for my fellow-creatures. I wish every one to live a thou¬ 
 sand years, with twenty thousand a year, and a dozen or two of chil¬ 
 dren. The universe has changed its aspect, human nature appears 
 beautiful to me, and the ugliest person seems handsome ;—even you, 
 Prog, look handsome. By the bye, generous man, will you allow* me 
 to ask you what you have done with my umbrella ? 
 
 Geo. Ask that gentleman there,—he says it belongs to him. 
 
 Griz. To him ?—has he the effronteiy— 
 
 Tom. No, Mr. Grizzle, ’tis yours, and I beg leave to return it. 
 
 Griz. (Taking it hastily.) Very well, sir--being without deli 
 
16 
 
 MY YOUNG WIFE* 
 
 cacy! I say it before Mr. Prog, though he is you? nephew, he is ft 
 being without delicacy. 
 
 Prog . My nephew ! really, sir, t— 
 
 Griz. Don’t defend him; ’t was he who wrote tf<s anonymous let- 
 ter against my friend Tomkins ! 
 
 Prog. Against Tomkins ! 
 
 Griz. I saw him myself concocting the devilry 
 
 Tom. {Aside.) He will betray me, 
 
 Geo. {Who has examined the note.) Why, really this letter is in the 
 same handwriting as the other, — look at it. {Giving letter to Prog.) 
 
 Prog* Can I believe my spectacles 1 
 
 Tom. {Aside.) All is up. , 
 
 Prog. 0 Tomkins, Pm ashamed of you ! 
 
 Griz. You mean George. 
 
 Prog. Mo, no, Tomkins. {Pointing to Tomkins, r.) 
 
 Griz. No, no, that’s George, and this is Tomkins. {Pointing to 
 George, l.) 
 
 Prog. No, no ; that’s Tomkins, and this is George. 
 
 Griz. Is it possible! {Crosses to Tomkins, and embracing him.) 
 My dear sir, I beg your pardon, you are my friend. 
 
 Prog. Really, I don’t understand this. 
 
 Geo. But I do, and will explain. 
 
 Tom. {Aloud.) No further explanation is necessary, sir. You love 
 Miss Dinah, she love3 you,—take her, and be happy. 
 
 Prog. What? what? what? 
 
 Tom. I resign her. Good-morning. {Going.) 
 
 Prog. Stay, stay; you owe me 500f. 
 
 Griz. Never mind. I ’ll pay you. 
 
 Prog. You ! how ? 
 
 Griz. With my umbrella. 
 
 Prog. Pshaw ! it’s not worth sixpence. 
 
 Griz. I beg your pardon, its value is immense; it is an object of 
 public curiosity. I could make a fortune by showing it at a penny a 
 head. Look, is n’t there something very patriarchal about it ? Observe 
 this patch and handle; is there such another umbrella in the world ? 
 No! in itself it is valuable for its singularity ; but when such an 
 affecting story is connected with it, when it has been the cause of such 
 unparalleled domestic distress, it becomes invaluable. Who would not 
 like to possess such a treasure ? No individual can purchase it! But, 
 to accommodate the public and the world in general, I’ve hit upon an 
 expedient—I’ll raffle it; and, to render the excitement greater, my wife, 
 the affectionate and beautiful Mrs. Grizzle, shall superintend the 
 arrangements. Now don’t you see your paltry 500J. ? Come, generous 
 friends {To Tomkins,) come under this faithful shelter, and form, with 
 me, an interesting tableau! {Puts up his umbrella.) There, I’ve put 
 up mv umbrella— (Tomkins goes to Grizzle.) —long may it rain over 
 us, and bear the heaviest shower of applause your approbation may 
 pour down upon my 
 
 “Young Wife, and my Old Umbrella.” 
 
 SITUATIONS. 
 
 Pitoo. Tomkins. Dinah. 
 
 George. 
 
(Catalogue continued from second page of cover.) 
 
 VOL. XLII. 
 
 329 Ticket of Leave Man 
 
 330 Fool’s Revenge 
 
 331 O’Neil the Great 
 
 332 Handy Andy 
 
 333 Pirate of the Isles 
 
 334 Fan chon 
 
 335 Little Barefoot 
 
 336 Wild Irish Girl 
 
 OL. XLI. 
 Pirate's Legacy 
 Charcoal Burner 
 jlgitba 
 ' or V aliente 
 est Rose 
 it s Daughter 
 lilla’s Husband 
 e Gold 
 
 Cts. 
 
 (great secret of shadow 
 
 MTOMIMES ; or, Harlequin in the Shades, 
 vto get them up and how to act them. With 
 (ad concise instructions, and numerous Illus* 
 
 By Tony Denier. Price.2u 
 
 LOU TABLEAUX ; or, Animated Pic- 
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 ijtions. By Tony Denier. Price.25 
 
 TEUR’S GUIDE TO HOME THE- 
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 \ them; to which is added, “ How to get up 
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 led Scenes, Plays, and everything useful for 
 
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 GUIDE TO THE STAGE, by Leman 
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 jste and valuable instructions for beginners, 
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 \rsals, securing proper Dresses, conduct at a 
 
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 ART OF ACTING; or, Guide to the 
 In which the Dramatic Passions are de- 
 knalyzed, and made easy of acquirement; 
 
 Ue requisites necessary for performers of both 
 / heroes, gentlemen, lovers, tradesmen, 
 
 's, heroines, fine ladies, hoy dens, characters 
 Idle and old age, etc. Price ,..J 5 
 
 VOL. XLIII. 
 
 337 Pearl of Savoy 
 
 338 Dead Heart 
 
 339 Ten Nights in a Bar-room 
 
 340 Dumb Boy of Manchester 
 841 Belphegor the Mountebank 
 
 342 Cricket on the Hearth 
 
 343 Printer’s Devil 
 644 Meg's Diversion 
 
 VOL. XLIV. 
 
 345 Drunkard’s Doom 
 
 346 Chimney Corner 
 
 347 Fifteen Years of a Drunk- 
 
 348 No Thoroughfare fard’s 
 
 349 Peep O’ Day I Life 
 
 8e0 Everybody’s Friend 
 Hamlet, in Three Acts 
 Guttle & Gulpit 
 
 Cu. 
 
 MASSEY’S EXHIBITION RECITER 
 AND DRAWING-ROOM ENTER¬ 
 TAINMENTS. Being choice Recitations in 
 prose and verse. Together with an unique collec¬ 
 tion of Petite Comedies, Dramas and Farces, 
 adapted for the use of Schools and Families. Two 
 
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 The two numbers, bound in cloth, School style.... 7 5 
 THE OLIO; or Speaker’s Companion. A col¬ 
 lection of Recitations in Prose and Verse, Dia¬ 
 logues and Burlesques, compiled for the use of 
 Schools, Thespian Societies, etc., and for Public 
 Declamation or Reading. In three parts... each, 15 
 DRAMAS FOR THE DRAWING¬ 
 ROOM. .By Miss Keating. Two parts, each, 40 
 PLAYS FOR THE PARLOR. By Miss 
 
 Keating. Two parts.each, 40 
 
 ACTING CHARADES. By Miss Picker¬ 
 ing .40 
 
 COMIC DRAMAS, for College, Camp, or Cabin 
 
 (Male Characters only), four parts.each, 40 
 
 DRAMAS FOR BOYS (Male Characters only), 
 
 by Miss Keating .40 
 
 HOME PLAYS FOR LADIES (Female 
 Characters only), complete in three part3.... each, 40 
 AN EVENING’S ENTERTAINMENT, 
 an original Comedy, a Burlesque and Farce.40 
 
 THE ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. 
 
 (NEW SERIES.) 
 
 a and Jinks 
 ' Number 
 >ody s Coat 
 ■> Paris 
 1 of Dickens 
 Ole Bull 
 
 jt Tragedy of All 
 
 NO. 
 
 8 Tom and Jerry, and Who’s 
 
 been Here 
 
 9 No Tator, or Man Fish 
 
 10 Who Stole the Chickens 
 
 11 Upper Ten Thousand 
 
 12 Hip Van Winkle 
 
 NO. 
 
 13 Ten Days in the Tombs 
 
 14 Two Pompeys 
 
 15 Running the Blockade 
 
 16 Jeemes the Poet 
 
 17 Intelligence Office 
 13 Echo Band 
 
 NO. 
 
 19 Deserters 
 
 20 Deaf as a Post 
 
 21 Dead Alive 
 
 22 Cousin Joe’s Visit 
 
 23 Boarding School 
 
 24 Academy of Stars 
 
 Make-Airs 
 l Cox 
 A 
 
 States Mail 
 opers 
 id s Cabin 
 .ival Lovers 
 ham Doctor 
 Millers 
 
 kins and his Dinah 
 'uack Doctor 
 ystic Spell 
 ack Statue 
 Jeff 
 
 Sschievous Nigger 
 
 1 or* 1r QhAamftVpr 
 
 NO. 
 
 17 The Magic Penny 
 
 18 The Wreck [ ny Cupids 
 
 19 Oh Hushl or The Virgin- 
 
 20 The Portrait Painter 
 
 21 The Hop of Fashion 
 
 22 Bone Squash 
 
 23 The Virginia Mummy 
 
 24 Thieves at the Mill 
 
 25 Comedy of Errors 
 2 1 Les Miserables 
 
 27 New Year’s Calls 
 2£ Troublesome Servant 
 2ff Great Arrival 
 
 30 Rooms to Let 
 
 31 Black Crook Burlesque 
 
 32 Ticket Taker 
 
 NO. 
 
 48 Fighting for the Union 
 
 49 Hamlet the Dainty 
 
 50 Corsican Twins 
 
 51 Deaf — in a Horn 
 
 52 Challenge Dance 
 
 53 De Trouble begins at Nine 
 
 54 Scenes at Gurney’s 
 
 55 16,000 Y ears Ago 
 
 56 Stage-struck Darkey 
 
 57 Black Mail lClothes 
 
 58 Highest Price for Old 
 
 59 Howls from the Owl Train 
 
 60 Old Hunks 
 
 61 The Three Black Smiths 
 
 62 Turkeys in Season 
 
 NO. 
 
 33 Hypochondriac 
 
 34 William Tell 
 
 35 Rose Dale 
 38 Feast 
 87 Fenian Spy 
 
 38 Jack’s the Lad 
 
 39 Othello 
 
 40 Camille 
 
 41 Nobody’s Son 
 
 42 Sports on a Lark 
 
 43 Actor and Singer 
 
 44 Shylock 
 
 45 Quarrelsome Servants 
 
 46 Haunted House 
 
 _ _ 47 No Cure, No Pay 
 
 /lack Shoemaker 
 
 Tony Denier’s Parlor Pantomimes.—In Ten Parts, 25 Cts. eaeh. 
 
 No. V.— The Viyandiere ; or, The Daughter of the 
 Regiment. Dame Trot and her Comical Cat; 
 or, The Misfortunes of Johnny Greene. 
 
 No. VI.— Godenski; or, The Skaters of Wilnau. 
 
 The Enchanted Horn ; or, The Witches’ Gift. 
 No. VII.— The Soldier for Love ; or, A Hero In 
 Spite of Himself. Simeon’s Mishaps; or, The 
 Hungarian Rendezvous. 
 
 No. VIII.— The Village Ghost; or, Love and 
 
 t Murder both Found Out. The Fairies’ Frolic; 
 
 —M. Dechalumeau; or^ The Birthday or, The Good Wife s Three Wishes. 
 
 No. IX.— The Rose of Sharon ; or, The Unlucky 
 Fisherman. Pongo, the Intelligent Ape, and 
 the Unfortunate Overseer. 
 
 A Memoir of the Author. By Sylvester 
 , Esq. How to Express the Various 
 •vs, Actions, etc. The Four Lovers ; or, 
 ties’ Rendezvous. The Frisky Cobbler ; 
 Rival Artisans. 
 
 |-The Rise and ProgR3ss of Pantomime, 
 hoolmaster ; or the School in an Uproar. 
 of Madrid; or, a Muleteer’s Bride. La 
 s Blanche ; or, The Lovers’ Stratagem. 
 
 M. Dechalumeau ; or, The Birthday 
 .The Demon Lover; or, The Frightened 
 ^y. Robert Macaire ; or, Les Deux Fugitifs. 
 
 V.—Jocko, the Brazilian Ape; or, The 
 )ievous Monkey. The Conscript ; or, How to 
 i the Draft. The Magic Flute ; or, The Ma¬ 
 li’s Spell. 
 
 No. X.— Mons. Toupet the Dancing Barber ; 
 or, Love and Lather. Vol au Vent and the 
 Millers ; or, A Night's Adventures. 
 
 Samuel French, Publisher, , 
 
 the above sent by Mail or Express, on receipt of price. 122 Nassau Street (Up STAIRS). I 
 
 New and Explicit Descriptive Catalogue Mailed Free on Request. 
 
FRENCH’S MINOR DRAMA 
 
 > Price 16 Cents each.— Bound Volumes $1.26. 
 
 VOL. I. 
 
 1 The IriBh Attorney 
 
 2 Boots at the Swan 
 
 S How to pay the Rent 
 
 4 The Loan of a Lover 
 
 5 Th* Dead Shot 
 
 6 His Last Legs 
 
 7 The Invisible Prince 
 
 8 The Golden Farmer 
 
 VOL. II. 
 
 9 Pride of the Market 
 
 10 Used Up 
 
 11 The Irish Tutor 
 
 12 The Barrack Room 
 
 13 Luke the Laborer 
 
 14 Beauty and the Beer’: 
 
 15 St. Patrick’s Eve 
 
 16 Ceptain of the Watch 
 
 VOL. III. 
 
 17 Tfre Secret [pers 
 
 13 White Horse o' tho Pep- 
 
 19 The Jacob if 
 
 20 The Bottle 
 
 21 Box and Cox 
 
 22 Bamboozling 
 
 23 Widow's Victim 
 
 24 Robert Macaire 
 
 VOL, IV. 
 
 25 Secret Service 
 
 26 Omnibus 
 
 27 Irish Lion 
 
 28 Maid of Croissy 
 20- The Old Guar 1 
 
 30 Raising the Wind 
 
 31 Slasher and Crasher 
 
 32 Naval Engagements 
 
 VOL. V. 
 
 S3 Oocknies in California 
 
 34 Who Speaks First 
 
 35 Bombastes Furioso 
 
 36 Macbeth' Travestie 
 
 37 Irish Ambassador 
 
 38 Delicate Ground 
 
 VOL. X. fc 
 
 73 Ireland and America 
 
 74 Pretty Piece of Business 
 75,Irish Broom-maker 
 
 76 To Paris and Back for 
 
 Five Pounds 
 
 77 That Blessed Baby 
 
 78 Our Gal 
 
 79 Swiss Cottage 
 
 80 Young Widow 
 
 VOL. XI. 
 
 81 O’Flannigan and the Fa- 
 
 82 It UiPo?t [ries 
 
 83 My Neighbor’s Wife 
 
 84 Irish Tiger 
 8 5 W. P. or Man and Tiger 
 
 86 To Oblige BenBon 
 
 87 State Secrets 
 
 88 Irish Yank to 
 
 VOL. XII. 
 
 89 A Good Fellow 
 
 90 Cherry and Fair Star 
 
 91 Gale Breezily 
 
 92 Our Jemimy 
 S3 Miller’ £ Maid 
 
 94 Awkward Arrival 
 
 95 Crossing the Line 
 
 96 Conjugal Lesson 
 
 VOL. XIII. 
 
 97 My Wife’s Mirror 
 
 93 Life in New York 
 99 Mid2y Ashore 
 
 190 Crown Prinoe 
 
 101 Two Queens 
 
 102 Thumping Legacy 
 
 103 Unfinished Gentleman 
 
 104 House Dog 
 VOL. XIV. 
 
 105 The Demon Lover 
 [106 Matrimony 
 
 107 In and Out of Place 
 
 108 I Dine with My Mother 
 
 109 Hi-a-wa-tha 
 
 39 The Weathercock [Gold,, A l0 Andy Blake 
 
 40 A.11 that Glitters is Not'111 Love in ’76 
 
 VOL. VI. 
 
 41 Grimshaw, Bagshaw and 
 
 Bradshaw 
 
 42 Rough Diamond 
 
 43 Bloomer Costume 
 
 44 Two Bonnycastles 
 
 45 Born to Good Luck 
 
 46 Kiss in the Dark [jurer 
 
 47 'Twould Puzzle a Con- 
 
 48 Kill or Cure 
 
 VOL. VII. 
 
 49 Box and Cox Married and 
 60 St. Cupid [Settled 
 
 51 Go-to-bed Tom 
 62 Tbe Lawyers 
 5 3 Jack Sheppard 
 54 The Toodles 
 
 65 The Mobcap 
 
 66 Ladies Beware 
 
 VOL. VIII. 
 
 67 Morning Call 
 
 58 Pop ping the Question 
 
 59 Deaf as a Post 
 
 60 New Footman 
 
 61 Pleasant Neighbor 
 
 62 Paddy the Piper 
 
 63 Brian O’Linn 
 
 64 Irish Assurance 
 
 VOL. IX. 
 
 65 Temptation 
 
 66 Paddy Carey 
 
 67 Two Gregories 
 
 68 King Charming 
 
 69 Po-ca-hon-tas 
 
 70 Clockmaker’s Hat 
 
 71 Married Rake 
 
 72 Love and Murder 
 
 VOL. XXXVII. 
 
 JOT 411 tbe World’s a Stage 
 ar.’i* y nash, or Nigger Practice 
 *31 Turn Him Out 
 
 302 t 
 
 »3 An°efof the Attic 
 291 (’ir-Mirostances alter Cases 
 206 ka.t> O’Sheal 
 i?f A Snpjiet in Dixie 
 
 [ties 
 
 112 Romance under Difficul- 
 VOL. XV. 
 
 113 One Coat for 2 Suits 
 
 114 A Decided Case 
 
 115 Daughter [nority 
 
 116 No; or, the Glorious Mi¬ 
 ll! Coroner’s Inquisition 
 
 118 Love in Humble Life 
 
 119 Family Jars 
 
 120 Personation 
 VOL. XVI. 
 
 121 Children in the Wood 
 
 122 Winning a Husband 
 
 123 Day after the Fair 
 
 124 Make Your Wills 
 
 125 Rendezvous 
 
 126 My Wife's Husband 
 
 127 Monsieur Tonson 
 
 128 Illustrious Stranger 
 VOL. XVII 
 
 129 Mischief-Making [Mines 
 
 130 A Live Woman in the 
 
 131 The Corsair 
 
 132 Shylock 
 
 133 Spoiled Child 
 
 134 Evil E^e 
 
 135 Nothing to Nurse 
 
 136 Wanted a Widow 
 VOL. XVIII. 
 
 137 Lottery Ticket 
 
 138 Fortune’s Frolic 
 
 139 Is be Jealous ( 
 i.40 Married Bachelor 
 
 141 Husoand at Sight 
 
 142 .irishman in London 
 
 143 Animal Magnetism 
 
 144 Highways and By-Way* 
 
 VOL. XXXVIII. 
 
 297 lei on -le Francr.L 
 
 298 Who killed Cock Robin 
 
 299 Decimation of Independence 
 
 300 Head* or Tails 
 
 301 Obstinate Family 
 202 My Aunt 
 
 303 That Rascal Pat 
 
 304 Don Paddy de Bazan 
 
 yi 
 
 VOL. VII. 
 
 145 Columbus 
 
 146 Harlequin Bluebeard 
 
 147 Ladies at Home 
 
 148 Phenomenon in a Smock 
 Frock 
 
 149 Comedy and Tragedy 
 
 150 Opposite Neighbors 
 lol Dutchman’s Ghost 
 
 152 Persecuted Dutchman 
 VOL. XX. 
 
 153 Musard Ball 
 
 154 Great Tragic Revival 
 
 155 High Low Jack & Game 
 
 156 A Gentleman from Ire- 
 
 157 Tom and Jerry [land 
 
 158 Village Lawyer 
 
 159 Captain’s not A-miss 
 
 160 Amateurs and Actors 
 VOL. XXI. 
 
 161 Promotion fual 
 
 162 A Fascinating Individ- 
 
 163 Mrs. Caudle 
 
 164 Shc.kspeare’s Dream 
 
 165 Neptune’s Defeat 
 
 166 Lady of Bedchamber 
 
 167 Take Care of Little 
 
 168 Irish Widow [ Charley 
 VOL. XXII. 
 
 169 Yankee Peddlar 
 ,170 Hiram Hireout 
 
 7> ih 7 s-Bedded Roo"' 
 •ama IXjfendeuL 
 
 173 Vermont Wool Dealer 
 
 174 Ebem zer Vehtiye [ter 
 
 175 Princioles from v harac- 
 
 176 Lady of the Lake (Trav) 
 VOL. XXIII. 
 
 177 Mad Dogs 
 
 178 Barney the Baron 
 
 179 Swiss Swains 
 
 180 Bachelor’s Bedroom 
 
 181 A Roland for an Oliver 
 
 182 More B'- nders than One 
 
 183 Dumb R ile 
 
 184 Limerick Boy 
 VOL. XXIV. 
 
 185 Nature and Philosophy 
 
 186 Teddy the Tiler 
 
 187 Spectre Bridgroom 
 
 188 Matteo F: coue 
 
 189 Jenny Lind 
 
 190 Two Buzzards 
 
 191 Happy Man 
 182 Betsy Baker 
 
 VOL. XXV. 
 
 193 No. 1 Round the Corner 
 
 194 Teddy Roe 
 
 195 Object of Interest 
 
 196 My Fellow Clerk 
 -197 Bengal Tiger 
 
 Laughing Hyena 
 
 199 The Victor Vanquished 
 
 200 Our Wife 
 VOL. XXVI. 
 
 201 My Husband’s Mirror 
 
 202 Yankee Land. 
 
 203 Norah Creina 
 Good for Nothing 
 
 205 The First Night 
 
 206 The Eton Boy 
 
 207 Wandering Minstrel 
 Wanted, 1000 Milliners 
 
 VOL. XXVII. 
 
 208 Poor Pitcoddy 
 
 210 The Mummy i Glasses 
 
 211 Don’t Forget your Opera. 
 
 212 Love in Livery 
 
 213 Anthony and Cleopatra 
 
 214 Trying It On. 
 
 215 Stage Struck Yankee 
 
 216 Young Wife & Old Um¬ 
 
 brella 
 
 VOL. XXIX. [ture 
 305 Too Much for Good Na- 
 H06 Cure for the Fidgets 
 
 307 Jack’s the Lad 
 
 308 Much A do about Nothing 
 
 VOL. XXVIII, 
 
 217 Crinoline 
 
 218 A Family Falling 
 
 219 Adopted Child 
 229 Turned Heads ] 
 
 221 A Match in the Dai 
 
 222 Advice to Husb?,n( 
 
 223 Siamese Twins 
 124 Sent to the Tower 
 
 VOL. XXIX 
 
 225 Somebody Else 
 
 226 Ladies' Battle 
 (227 Art of Acting 
 
 228 The Lady of the L| 
 
 229 The Fights of Mar 
 
 ? Gh 
 
 *7 
 
 .maj 
 
 230 My Husband’ 
 
 231 Two Can P 
 
 Game 
 
 232 Fighting by I 
 VOL. X 
 
 233 Unprotected 
 
 234 Pet of the Petticoa 
 
 235 Forty and Fifty 
 
 236 Who Stole the P, 
 
 237 My Son Diana 
 
 238 Unwarrantable 
 
 239 Mr. and Mrs. Wh 
 
 240 A Quiet Family 
 VOL. XXXI. 
 
 241 Cool fts Cucambe' 
 
 242 Sudden Thought. 
 
 243 Jumbo Jum 
 
 244 A Blighted Bein^ 
 
 245 Little Toddlekins 
 
 246 A Lover by Proxy 
 
 247 Maid with the 3k 
 
 248 Perplexing Predi< 
 
 VOL. XXXII. 
 
 249 Dr. Dilworth 
 
 250 Out to Nurse 
 
 251 A Lucky Hit 
 
 252 The Dowager 
 
 253 Metamora (Buries 
 
 254 Dreams of Delusio 
 
 255 The Shalt er Lover 
 
 256 Ticklish Times 
 VOL. XXXIII. 
 
 257 20 Minutes withi 
 253 Miralda: or, the 
 
 of Tacon 
 
 259 A Soldier’s Oou 
 
 260 Servants by 1 
 
 261 Dying for Love 
 
 262 Alarming Saci; 
 
 263 Valet de Sham' 
 
 264 Nicholas Nickh 
 
 309 Artful Dodger 
 
 310 Winning Hazard 
 
 311 Day’s Pishing 
 
 [4c. 
 
 312 Did you ever send your, 
 
 VOL. XXXI 
 265 The Last of the 
 King Rene’s D 
 
 267 The Grotto Nym 
 
 268 A Devilish Good 
 
 269 A Twice Told T' 
 
 270 Pas de Fascina 
 
 271 Revolutionary ' 
 
 272 A Man Without 
 VOL. XXX\ 
 
 273 The Olio, Part 
 
 274 The Olio, Par t 
 
 275 The Olio, Part 
 
 276 The Trumpeter’ 
 
 277 Seeing Warren 
 
 278 Green Mountai 
 
 279 That Nose 
 
 280 Tom Noddy’s S 
 
 VOL. XXX 
 
 281 Shocking Eve; 
 2S2 A Regular Fir 
 
 283 Diqk Turpin 
 
 284 Young Scamp 
 
 285 Young Actresr 1 
 
 286 Call at No. 1--' 
 
 287 One Touch of 
 
 288 Two B'hoya 
 
 VOL. XXX 
 
 313 An Irishman’s 
 
 314 Cousin Fannie 
 
 315 ’Tisthe Darkest H 
 
 316 Masquerade [lor 
 
 317 Crowding the Seas 
 
 318 Good Night’s Res 
 
 319 Man with theCai 
 
 320 Terrible Tinker 
 
 SAMUEL FRENCH 4 SON, 123 Nassau Strbkt, Nkw York. 
 
UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS-URBANA