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 UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS LIBRARY AT URBANA-CHAMPAIGN
 
 THE TORY BARONET; 
 
 TORIES, WHIGS, AND RADICALS, 
 
 BY ONE WHO KNOWS THEM, 
 
 IN THREE VOLUMES. 
 VOL. I, 
 
 LONDON : 
 
 RICHARD BENTLEY, NEW BURLINGTON STREET 
 
 1844.
 
 KZ3 
 
 THE TORY BARONET; 
 
 ; TORIES, WHIGS, AND RADICALS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 Citizen^ a man of trade, — not a gentleman. — Johnson. 
 
 In days not far distant from those in which 
 we live, might be seen entering the Royal 
 Exchange every day as the clock struck four, 
 a tall thin man addicted to wearing powder, 
 to walking with a huge stick, to a remarkable 
 volubility of speech, and to the rather easily 
 acquired habit of embodying in sentences of 
 the most fearful length, the smallest possible 
 portion of anything approaching to an idea. 
 This gentleman was an Alderman of the City 
 of London, a Liveryman of the Goldsmiths* 
 
 VOL. I. B
 
 2 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 Company, a goldsmith by trade, a citizen by 
 birth, and he had the happiness to rejoice in 
 the name of Clapperton. The family of the 
 Clappertons could not trace back its origin 
 either to the time of William the Conqueror, 
 or even to that of William and Mary, but it 
 was satisfied with knowing that for the period 
 of one hundred and twenty years there had 
 never wanted a Clapperton on the rolls of the 
 Goldsmiths' Company. Mr. Alderman Clap- 
 perton had passed through all the civic offices 
 with, of course, honour to himself] and glory 
 to the Corporation; and as a reward for dis- 
 tinguished merit, and as a just tribute to his 
 well-earned fame, a benevolent and gracious 
 monarch conferred on him the honour of 
 baronetcy, and Sir Edward Clapperton became 
 the founder of a new dynasty ; upon which 
 occasion he delivered himself of the following 
 speech : — 
 
 " I am sure^ your Majesty, that your Ma- 
 jesty will do me the honour to remember that 
 on the occasion when I had the privilege of 
 waiting on your Majesty with the loyal and
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 3 
 
 dutiful address on your Majesty's accession to 
 the throne of these realms, — which I am sure 
 was one of the most bright and glorious days 
 of my past life, — that I said to your Majesty, 
 You may be sure, Sire, of the affection and 
 devotion of your Majesty's most loyal citizens ; 
 your Majesty's noble and generous conduct on 
 all possible occasions cannot fail to secure the 
 affections of the most dutiful people in the world, 
 when their affections are surely placed on any 
 object. And in rendering my grateful thanks 
 to your Majesty for the signal mark of royal 
 benevolence now conferred on me, (and I am 
 sure I may say conferred on the honourable 
 Company to which I belong,) I am sure that I 
 may express for that Company, as well as for 
 myself, that anything it is in its power, or in 
 my power to do, at any time, I am sure we 
 shall be ready to do so at a moment's notice. 
 I am sure your Majesty has a truly British 
 heart, and I am sure your Majesty can appre- 
 ciate our hearts, for we have all British hearts. 
 Again, I repeat to your Majesty that never 
 could a Monarch more surely rely on his faith-
 
 4 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 ful subjects, the Mayor and Corporation of the 
 City of London, than you can, I am sure." 
 
 This was one of the most eloquent orations 
 of Sir Edward ; and his family hoped that the 
 Goldsmiths' Company would have it " framed 
 and glazed," — but in this noble devotedness of 
 feeling the Master and Wardens did not fully 
 participate, and the speech was simply copied 
 on vellum, emblazoned with the arms of the 
 Clapperton family, and hung up in the large 
 dining room on Clapham Common. 
 
 This was the origin of the Clappertons. Sir 
 Edward, when only a goldsmith, and less sure 
 of his future fame, had the misfortune to marry 
 a most worthy and admirable woman, who 
 could not understand what it was to rise in 
 the world, and who was guilty of occasional 
 faux pas, such as asking the gentleman who sat 
 next her at dinner to take wine with her, of 
 being " remarkably fond of long whist and 
 sixpenny points," of having a predilection for 
 very gay caps and a profusion of flowers, and 
 of directing the conversation, even when she 
 lived westward, to city politics and city gossip.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 5 
 
 All this sadly grieved both Sir Edward and 
 his daughters, and the only son felt it by no 
 means improbable, that these maternal tastes 
 and habits would stand in the way of all their 
 future preferment. Lady Clapperton remained 
 deaf to all these remonstrances, reproved the 
 " pride " of her " stuck-up husband and chil- 
 dren," and as she wore low bodies and gauze 
 handkerchiefs would declare that for her part 
 there was nothing like nature. 
 
 " Blessed is the man who hath a lady for 
 his mother," exclaimed her refractory but 
 only son. 
 
 " Then you are blessed, indeed," retorted his 
 obtuse parent ; and delighted with what she 
 mistook for a well^merited compliment, she 
 added, " That which is born in the bones 
 is sure to come out in the flesh, Ned. I re- 
 member very well, my poor dear father used 
 to say, as he took me on his knees and looked 
 at my bright blue eyes, and gazed on my fine 
 flowing locks, — ' Betsy, my girl, you '11 make 
 your way in the world ; for you have the 
 very look of a queen !' and though your dear
 
 b THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 mother is not a queen, my boy,"" continued 
 Lady Clapperton, " she is a lady in her own 
 right now; for if your father should die to- 
 morrow, I should be Lady Clapperton the 
 rest of my days. I always said to your father, 
 when he first put up to be common-council- 
 man for the Ward of Cheap, — ' Clapperton,' 
 said I, ' this is the first step, — mind what 
 you 're about, — and if my father's word does 
 not come true to the letter, it will to the spirit.' 
 And now so it has ; for am I not Lady Clap- 
 perton ? And the best of it is, my boy, that 
 you will be Sir Edward Clapperton, and your 
 wife Lady Clapperton, when we shall be 
 smouldering in the grave. None of your 
 knighthoods for me ; but Sir Edward once, 
 Sir Edward for ever; and Lady once. Lady 
 for ever. That 's my way of thinking." 
 
 This was Lady Clapperton; but she had 
 her merits. Her plate was kept in a chest, 
 and the key in her pocket. Her store-room 
 was well ventilated, and not less well sup- 
 plied with the comforts and luxuries of the 
 table ; and that key also was kept in her
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 7 
 
 pocket. The wine-cellar was not confided 
 either to her husband or his butler. She flat- 
 tered herself that Dr. Henderson was not a 
 better connoisseur of claret, hock, champagne, 
 Lisbon, port, or sherry, than herself; and as 
 to her East India madeira, " the King'*s or 
 Kaye's cellars had not the parallel." Her 
 favourite newspaper was The Morning Post. 
 She was also very learned in Leadenhall-street 
 literature ; and was herself, not a walking 
 Encyclopaedia, but an ambulating cookery- 
 book. Simple, generous, round, affable, red, 
 and jovial, she was the charm of a dinner- 
 table at her own house, and precisely the re- 
 verse at any other residence. There were some 
 points, either in her character or her arrange- 
 ments, on which she was entitled to pride 
 herself. They were not her eloquence, her 
 wit, her education, her high bearing, noble 
 mien, commanding talents, or pungent satire; 
 but her white currant wine, which she " back- 
 ed" against any liqueur on the Continent, her 
 boar*s-head, once a-year, which she imported 
 from Chevefs, and her caviare and cranberries,
 
 8 THE TORY BAHONET. 
 
 which were equally perfect at Clapham Hall. 
 Nor should her biographer omit to record 
 that her "Westphalia Hams" were wonder- 
 ful, and that her hospitality was prodigious. 
 Her chief defects were a pertinacious love of 
 the letter W, in the case of veal, a grape 
 vine, victualling-office, and even vinegar; the 
 first and last of which cases were the most 
 distressing, as dinner was a daily occurrence, 
 and veal and vinegar were very often two of 
 its condiments. This was her first defect. An 
 awful misapprehension of the rules laid down 
 by Dilworth, Lindley Murray, and other ortho- 
 dox and polite authorities, for the pronuncia- 
 tion of the letter H. She was unfortunate in 
 her struggles to do right, and spoke with " esi- 
 tation" of the " air" of her '' edd." There was 
 a third defect, which ought to be nameless, a 
 love of luncheons. To those who protested 
 against such antiquated and exploded repasts, 
 she would reply, " Now, do you suppose, sir, 
 that I would let these poor things (the poor 
 things being her two daughters) go without 
 anything to eat from ten in the morning till
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 9 
 
 six at night ? No, no ! In my opinion, a good 
 warm luncheon is the best meal in the day. 
 Poor, dear Sir Charles Stilton used to say, 
 
 the Duke of Y , who was as good a man 
 
 as ever broke bread, and who took his wine 
 freely, was a great lover of luncheons. And 
 the Alderman himself was no bad judge, I 
 assure you. So, with such examples before 
 us, we must not give up our luncheons." 
 
 This was Lady Clapperton. She was kind- 
 hearted, generous, and charitable, warmly at- 
 tached to her friends, and easily persuaded 
 into a friendship ; but those who visited her 
 for any lengthened period ran two great chances, 
 the first of their hearing, and the second of 
 their digestion. If these were of no conse- 
 quence, Clapham Hall was a princely residence. 
 But as all that's bright must fade, poor Lady 
 Clapperton took to dying. Her indisposition 
 was short but severe. Feeling " quite out 
 of sorts the previous night" — we are simply 
 transcribers of her own eloquent narrative to 
 the medical attendant, — " she was prevailed 
 on to take a large tumbler of hot arrack- 
 
 B 5
 
 10 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 punch. This had the effect of giving her a 
 good night's sleep : and when she awoke she 
 thought she was better. She rose, but felt 
 weak. Sir Edward advised her to try a veni- 
 son cutlet and a few glasses of the best East 
 India madeira. But she had scarcely finished 
 her luncheon than she felt very drowsy. She 
 remembered no more." An apoplectic attack 
 had seized her ; and though, for a few hours, 
 she was restored to a perfect apprehension of 
 her situation, a second attack conveyed her to 
 that bourn from which no traveller returns. 
 The daughters mourned her loss, the son shed 
 bitter tears over her grave. Sir Edward di- 
 rected the most expensive funeral that could 
 be imagined to be prepared, and the funeral 
 breakfast was nearly as pompous as a Lord 
 Mayor's feast. Lady Clapperton, adieu ! 
 
 The Miss Clappertons were ladies of a very 
 different mould to their defunct mamma. Miss 
 Charlotte was the eldest — her junior sister 
 was Miss Sophia. The former had received 
 her education at a boarding-school on that 
 very common, where now Sir Edward pos-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 11 
 
 sessed his hall ; and the youngest child, and 
 the favourite too, had been so happy as to 
 enjoy the advantages of a private education, 
 having private masters, and a private go- 
 verness. Miss Charlotte was fair, pale, and 
 flaxen, rather addicted in her earlier days to 
 a love of city royalty, but still knew all the 
 rules in Wanostrocht's French Grammar, could 
 talk a few words of Italian to the " broom- 
 girls," and the " white mice boys," and had 
 seen more of the world than her sister, for 
 she had taken two trips to Boulogne. Miss 
 Sophia was a brunette, resembled neither father 
 nor mother, a circumstance which much an- 
 noyed Sir Edward and his lady, had a strong 
 voice, which she exercised in the bravura style, 
 looked remarkably well with harp-strings in her 
 fingers, or with her fingers on harp-strings ; 
 whilst her eldest sister played with her ring- 
 lets, and was quite an fait at Hertz's piano 
 compositions, as well as an ardent lover of 
 Meyerbeer. Both the Miss Clappcrtons sang 
 — both required a good deal of pressing — 
 both sang when pressed — and blessed was
 
 12 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 the wight who got off without two hours of 
 performances, when once the Miss Clappertons 
 were fairly installed before their piano. 
 
 During the life-time of their mamma their 
 favourite topic of conversation was " their aver- 
 sion to vulgarity," but after her jocund face 
 and merry heart no longer enlivened their 
 Clapham mansion, they took to novels and 
 the Belles Lettres. Accustomed to the civic 
 virtue of profusion, they treated their minds 
 as their departed mamma had done their bodies, 
 and belonged to four circulating libraries, — 
 one in the country, and three in town, — to the 
 first class of books at each library, in order 
 that they might have an abundant supply of 
 mental food for their craving appetites. Their 
 groom was often oppressed by the weight of 
 four and five sets of the last three-volumed 
 novels, and their lady's-maid was " really 
 afraid lest the young ladies should throw 
 themselves into a consumption by so much 
 hard reading.""* The current literature of the 
 day was soon insufficient in quantity for their 
 impatient and eager souls, and in their thirst
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 13 
 
 for knowledge the Waverley novels were passed 
 in such rapid review, that the Miss Clapper- 
 tons even forgot the names of the tales, if not 
 of the author. When the Scotch novels were 
 terminated, they began with Fielding, Smol- 
 lett, and Richardson, and kept up a sort of 
 amiable and sisterly contest about who could 
 read the quickest, and not who could under- 
 stand the best. How long this state of things 
 might have continued, or to what fearful re- 
 sults it might have. conducted, it is impossible 
 to imagine, but an event to which we shall 
 presently refer changed once more the cur- 
 rent of their thoughts, as well as the whole 
 plan of their existence. But before we make 
 any further allusion to that circumstance, we 
 must attempt a sketch of the only son. It 
 is still but an act of justice to record that 
 the Miss Clappertons were really very nice 
 girls. 
 
 Edward Clapperton, Esquire, was the hope 
 of the family. He it was who was to trans- 
 mit the name of Clapperton to the next ge- 
 neration, and by it to the end of time. Good-
 
 14 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 tempered, not very strong-minded, easily led 
 into all fun or mischief, really averse to bu- 
 siness, fond of amusements, yet social, gene- 
 rous, and unsuspecting, he received a good 
 education at the Charter House, only after- 
 wards to become a — goldsmith. Yet, as he 
 was high-principled, dutiful, and possessed a 
 great love, if not of fame, at least of reputa- 
 tion, he attended to business, that the credit 
 of the house might stand high, and that his 
 own credit with his own bankers might not 
 fall low. Civic honours in his heart he de- 
 spised, but until the creation of a Baronetcy 
 in his family he had no prospect of any other. 
 That event, however, changed all his expec- 
 tations and plans, and opened before him a 
 wide field for speculation and hope. He was 
 tbo frankly good to desire the death of his 
 father, but it was a consolation to him to 
 know that at some period or other of his future 
 life he should be Sir Edward too, and Maria 
 Catherwood, the daughter of a respectable 
 though not very opulent founder, he then 
 hoped would rise with him to the higher
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 15 
 
 circles of society, and to the style, if not the 
 grandeur of the great. 
 
 Maria was a pet lamb. Gentle, unassum- 
 ing, infantine, modest, graceful, playful, and 
 young, she was the darling of her father's 
 heart, and the hope of her mother's life. Her 
 tastes were as simple as her acquirements were 
 feminine, and there was an innocent artless- 
 ness about her, which gained for her none but 
 names of tenderness and feelino^s of interest. 
 At the age of seventeen her slender form ap- 
 peared rather to whisper like the zephyrs than 
 to tread along the ground, and Maria Cather- 
 wood was too pure a creature for most men to 
 love, and yet so interesting and fascinating 
 that but few could think of her with indiffer- 
 ence. Yet, though her frame was slender, her 
 heart was strong, her affections ardent, and her 
 friendships enthusiastic ; and she would blush 
 most deeply when Edward Clapperton was 
 mentioned, long before he had made any de- 
 claration of affection, or even of esteem. " He 
 is a fine-hearted fellow !" said Maria, when she 
 heard him accused of avarice ; '* there is not
 
 16 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 an atom of that vice in his character, or I am 
 indeed mistaken. Who has not his faults ? 
 Edward Clapperton may have his, and I doubt 
 not he has many, but he is much more likely 
 to err on the side of generosity and extrava- 
 gance, than on that of avarice or meanness." 
 
 Alderman and Mrs. Clapperton loved Maria 
 as they would have done a pretty flower, a 
 sweet dove, a tender plant ; but they never 
 thought of her as their child, for they knew 
 that her father was far from wealthy, and they 
 hoped that their son Edward " would look 
 much higher." When the title made its ap- 
 pearance in the Clapperton family, even Lady 
 Clapperton, with all her good-heartedness, 
 " trusted that her son would forget his boyish 
 loves," and seek for some one more in accord- 
 ance with the change which had thus come 
 over the spirit of their dreams. The Miss 
 Clappertons loved Maria with sisterly affection, 
 but regarded the penchant of their brother for 
 " the little creature'' as a dreaming recollection 
 of bygone days ; and when their father was 
 created Sir Edward they dismissed the idea of
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 17 
 
 even the possibility of such a marriage wholly 
 from their minds. Edward Clapperton himself 
 had his doubts and misgivings. The declara- 
 tion of his attachment to Maria he had made 
 when only nineteen years of age ; she had post- 
 poned any definitive answer, and bade him 
 wait awhile, to be sure that the proposal would 
 not lead to any family disunion, though, at 
 the same time, she allowed him to feel that 
 to her he was by no means disagreeable. The 
 death of Lady Clapperton suspended for a 
 short period the intimacy of the two families ; 
 Maria was less frequently at Clapham Hall ; 
 neither Sir Edward nor his daughters felt any 
 longer any uneasiness, and they all hoped that 
 the friendship of boyhood would remain un- 
 changed in future and coming years, and that 
 it would continue of that character, which to 
 them would be most acceptable, especially as 
 the Catherwood family was more virtuous than 
 wealthy. 
 
 " Troubles never come alone," says the pro- 
 verb ; and this was undoubtedly the case with 
 the Clappertons ; for six months after the death
 
 18 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 of their mamma, Sir Edward descended sud- 
 denly to the same vault as his departed spouse, 
 and the escutcheon, with " Resurgam " be- 
 neath it, adorned or beshrouded the front of 
 Clapham Hall. The Court of Aldermen fol- 
 lowed their defunct member to the grave, and 
 passed a vote of condolence to his son, whilst a 
 deputation of the livery of the Ward of Cheap, 
 a few weeks afterwards, invited young Sir Ed- 
 ward to become candidate for the post of Com- 
 mon Councilman. But he had far different 
 plans in view ; they dreamt not of the things 
 of heaven and earth which had entered into his 
 philosophy ; for he had resolved to give up 
 business, sell off the stock in trade, get rid of 
 the good-will, and realise the large fortune 
 of his father ; and as Sir Edward had died 
 without any will, to take possession of the 
 freehold estates, divide the personal property 
 with his sisters, and live " like a gentleman" at 
 the family mansion. 
 
 " No more vulgarities for me ! " said Sir 
 Edward ; " no more turtle dinners at Green- 
 wich or gilded boat excursions to Richmond.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 19 
 
 No more making; love to aldermen's wives or 
 to common-councilmen's daughters ; no more 
 Easter balls or lord mayor's feasts ! no more 
 canvassings for poor liverymen who seek to be 
 bridge-masters ; and no more tormentings for 
 ' votes and interest ' in orphan asylums, or by 
 ward officers, or for Christ's Hospital ! Thank 
 God ! it was the title of Sir Edward and 
 Baronet that were transmissible, and not those 
 of alderman or liveryman. I am Sir Edward 
 Clapperton, of Clapham Hall in the county of 
 Surrey, Baronet ; with a good house, fine fortune, 
 capital estates, large personal property, ex- 
 cellent constitution, admirable health, not a bad 
 figure, gentlemanly appearance, engaging man- 
 ners, and all that sort of thing ; and with two 
 very decent sisters, who can keep house, and 
 look well, play, sing, go to the Opera, be 
 presented at court, and cut a figure in that 
 kind of world for which my poor dear father 
 and mother — God bless them both ! — were 
 really anything but qualified. Dear Maria 
 must wait awhile. Her advice was excellent ; 
 full of sense ; though I did not think so then ;
 
 20 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 I am glad she gave it, now. I must sow my wild 
 oats before I think of marriage ; and become 
 steady, before settling down. Politics, dear 
 politics, I must now attend to them; — not your 
 city politics, your Guildhall politics, your 
 Mansion-House politics ; oh, no ! but the 
 Carlton Club politics ; politics of St. Stephen's 
 Chapel, gentlemanly politics. I must become 
 what my dear father never could be made — it 
 was not in him — a man of the world. To be 
 sure, I am very young to become such ; but a 
 man at twenty-three is a man for all that." 
 
 The Miss Clappertons learnt with delight 
 the determination of their brother. They ab- 
 horred trade ; the eldest, since she took to 
 reading, daily diminished in her previous 
 demi-attachment to the city and its interests ; 
 the aversion of the youngest increased ; the 
 "Ward of Cheap was never visited by either 
 of them ; and they gave their hearty concur- 
 rence to all such arrangements as should with- 
 draw their brother. Sir Edward, from all 
 City connexions, and place him in that world 
 of which they had heard so much and seen
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 21 
 
 SO little, — the hemi monde. It was true that 
 Mrs. Graham had introduced them to dukes 
 and marchionesses at Baker Street, and that 
 Doctor Colton, of Pall Mall East, had done 
 his little best to initiate Sir Edward into 
 the secrets of the West End ; — but they all 
 longed to bask in the sunshine of the haut 
 ton : to have their movements noticed in the 
 Court Journal ; to see their names arranged 
 in alphabetical order with the rest of the 
 authorised and recognised aristocracy ; to be 
 introduced at court ; to see their court dresses 
 amply described in the columns of The Morn- 
 ing Post; and to become part and parcel of 
 the elite of the land, 
 
 Sir Edward disposed of the business in 
 the City for a very large sum, made all the 
 arrangements which duty and honour dictated 
 as to the fortunes of his sisters, and then re- 
 solved to spend with them the winter at 
 Bath. He knew not how the mighty Bath 
 of former days had fallen. 
 
 " A prophet hath no honour in his own 
 country," said Sir Edward to his sisters ;
 
 22 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " we will come out at Bath. There we will 
 live in splendour and taste, become acquainted 
 with the rank, fashion, and beauty of that 
 orthodox watering-place, then be introduced 
 at court in the spring, spend our next summer 
 in London, autumn at Baden, and winter at 
 Paris, and finally settle down at Clapham Hall 
 after introductions to the English, Baden, 
 and French courts, and select our society, as 
 well as arrange our future plans." 
 
 " Admirable ! " said Miss Charlotte. 
 
 *' Delicious ! " said Miss Sophia ; and each 
 looked on her brother as a prodigy both of 
 talent and genius. 
 
 This is a sketch of the Clapperton family. 
 How those plans were executed or abandoned, 
 and the consequences to which they led, will 
 be seen hereafter.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 23 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 He is a racaille ; i. e. a loose, disorderly, wild, gay 
 man ; addicted to pleasure. 
 
 Old Play. 
 
 Amongst the amiable nothingnesses which 
 made up the character of the founder of the 
 Clapperton family, was a perfect indifference to 
 politics. The first Sir Edward would say, 
 " that he was sure he owed all his advancement 
 and all his wealth, to his never having been drawn 
 into party politics. For his part, he thought 
 there were good and bad of all sorts. No men 
 were more worthy of love than Sir William 
 Turtle or Sir Charles Stilton, and yet they 
 were Tories. Mr. Alderman Black and Sir 
 Jonathan Webb were admitted to be two of 
 the most upright men in the Corporation ; and 
 they were Whigs. And Mr. Alderman Tin
 
 24 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 and Mr. Alderman Rice were two of the most 
 efficient members of the Court of Aldermen ; 
 and yet they were Radicals. He had also ob- 
 served during the whole of his civic life, that 
 however politics divided men at contested elec- 
 tions, and when the question of ' who ?' should 
 eat the loaves and fishes was at issue, when 
 once that point was decided and the eating 
 commenced, they were unanimous in their pro- 
 ceedings, and loved each other as brethren. 
 So, to avoid all strife, and secure peace for 
 himself as well as respect and happiness for his 
 family, he had commenced public life with this 
 resolution, — never to oppose any man on ac- 
 count of his politics, nor any proposition when 
 apparently good in itself, because it was 
 brought forward by any political party, whe- 
 ther high-church or low-church, church and 
 state, or no church and no state at all." 
 
 This was the only feature in his father's 
 character that the young Sir Edward could 7iot 
 approve. 
 
 " To be anything in the upper classes," said 
 Sir Edward to his sisters, "men must be some-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 25 
 
 thing in politics. Our poor, dear father never 
 could understand this ; and perhaps it was 
 well that he could not, — for, by his obliging 
 manners towards all parties, and his support 
 of all in their turns, he secured so large a 
 business and made so ample a fortune. But 
 my position is far different. My fortune is 
 made. My title I have not to seek. Com- 
 merce I have done with for ever ! I will 
 never see the City, except it be to canvass the 
 worthy liverymen for the honour of represent- 
 ing them in parliament, and this I can never do 
 without an avowal of principles. For my part, 
 I care not two straws who are in power, the 
 Whigs or the Tories, but I must be one or the 
 other. To be a Radical, unless I were one of 
 the chiefs, like Sir William Coldsfoot, would 
 exclude you, as well as myself, from very much 
 of the best society, especially as our origin will 
 always be looked to, unless we are patronized 
 by some of the old families of the country. 
 But whether I side with the Tories or the 
 Whigs I am perfectly indifferent ; for when 
 Whigs are in office they are Tories, and when 
 
 VOL. I. c
 
 S6 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 Tories are out of office they are Whigs. To 
 one or the other of these sections I must be- 
 long ; and as we have some expectations from 
 Mr. Mapleton and his cousins, who are both 
 Tories to the backbone, I think it would be 
 but wise and prudent on my part, to avow 
 Tory and church principles." 
 
 " I think so too, my dear Edward," said 
 Sophia, " especially as the Tories are in power, 
 and we can never hope to get on in the world 
 until presented at Court." 
 
 " Oh, as for that, my dear Sophia," replied 
 Sir Edward, " the Tories are a good-natured 
 set of fellows when in office, and are always 
 more obliging to the Whigs who oppose, than to 
 the Tories who support them. Their maxim 
 is, that it is better to neutralize one opponent, 
 than to render more solid ten friendships of 
 their own party. I am not as yet sufficiently 
 acquainted with these matters to offer any de- 
 cided opinion on such a question ; but I rather 
 think some moderate Tories have becomeWhigs, 
 of late, not merely from the conviction that the 
 Whigs ere long will take office, but because
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 27 
 
 they see clearly that nothing is to be got out 
 of any ministry which has the Duke for its 
 head. The Duke is too honest and straight- 
 forward a man for a premier ; and, besides 
 which, he has gained his reputation, can never 
 hope to be more popular than he is at present, 
 and has nothing to aspire to. On the whole, 
 I am satisfied it is my duty to belong to Jiis 
 party, especially as I have no favour to ask, 
 and no frowns to fear. If I enter parliament, 
 I should take my seat behind Sir Robert, and 
 give my independent support to a Church and 
 State cabinet." 
 
 " As to church matters, my dear Edward,'* 
 said Charlotte, " I think you need not trouble 
 your head about such affairs. Leave the 
 church to the clergy and the bishops. They 
 know what 's best ; and as some of our old 
 friends are Unitarian dissenters, I should be 
 sorry to see ycfU take any part in anything 
 relating to the church. For my part I think 
 one religion as good as another, provided we 
 are but sincere in our belief." 
 
 M Why, where have you been reading such 
 
 c 2
 
 28 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 trash as that ?" asked Sir Edward, with a 
 wholly unaccustomed energy ; " I pray you 
 banish from your mind such absurd and pre- 
 posterous notions. The religion of this coun- 
 try is that of the Established Church, and we 
 belong lo it. How can you hope to be pre- 
 sented at Court, mix with the best society, and 
 be on an equality with the oldest families in 
 the country, and yet hold that your Methodists 
 and your Dissenters are on an equality with 
 Churchmen ? Why, really, Charlotte, if such 
 opinions are held by you, let me conjure you, 
 as your best friend and protector, never to 
 broach them. If it were known that such 
 sentiments were entertained by any of the 
 Clapperton family, farewell to all my plans, 
 hopes, and prospects." 
 
 "But I thought," replied Charlotte, "that 
 the highest circles of society held precisely 
 these opinions ; and that the Marchioness of 
 Swanshire, and the Countess of Hartwell, and 
 the Duchess of Marblehall were as indifferent 
 on these matters, as that ice-plant or this 
 egg-cup."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. ^V 
 
 " That is precisely your error," said Sir 
 Edward ; " they are indifferent, if you will, 
 to the forms and ceremonies, to the rites and 
 church-goings of religion, but they would 
 rather die than appear in a conventicle, and 
 would rather be taken up for shop-lifting, than 
 accused in the public journals of favouring 
 Methodism. It is not that they are religious, 
 or care about religion, but they must belong 
 to the National Church." 
 
 " I understand Edward perfectly," said So- 
 phia, turning to Charlotte and regarding her 
 with a look of some anxiety as well as interest; 
 "his maxim is, think what you like, believe 
 internally what you will; but as every other 
 religion but that of the Church is looked upon 
 as vulgar and ungentlemanly, never say any- 
 thing about Dissenters or Methodists. Appear 
 before the world as if you knew nothing about 
 them. Never either defend their cause, or re- 
 proach them ; go to Church ; stand well with 
 your parish clergyman ; and, if ever appeal- 
 ed to on such matters, say that you leave all 
 tfeese questions to the gentlemen, since ladies
 
 30 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 have something else to do than to trouble 
 themselves about church or state." 
 
 " Admirable ! " exclaimed Sir Edward. 
 " That is indeed what may be called muUum 
 in parvo." 
 
 " What do you say, Edward ? Multum — " 
 asked Charlotte. 
 
 " Oh ! it 's only a Latin phrase, signifying 
 ' much in a little,' my dear ; but never ask 
 these questions before others. I know veri/ 
 little of Latin myself; for what I learned at 
 the Charter-house I have nearly forgotten, but 
 I make it a rule never to ask questions. You 
 7nai/ know, or you may not know, so long 
 as you ask no questions ; and no one can tell 
 to which description of characters you belong ; 
 but the moment the question is asked, it is 
 clear you do ?iot know, — and then you are 
 set down for a dunce. Take my advice, Char- 
 lotte; never ask any questions. Laugh when 
 others laugh, — and look grave when others 
 look grave ; and, independent of the fact, 
 that this will secure you a vast many friends, 
 be sure it will save you from many trou- 
 bles."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 31 
 
 "By the bye," — continued Sir Edward, 
 " my dear girls, we must now think very seri- 
 ously of our arrangements for Bath. I have 
 thought of Cheltenham, Leamington, Hastings, 
 and Brighton ; but you must have observed 
 in the course of your reading, that in all the 
 best novels Bath carries the bell. They tell 
 me it 's dull, prosy, and old-fashioned ; but 
 it 's better for us, who are now coming out for 
 the first time, to go to an old-fashioned than 
 to a more modern watering-place. When once 
 we shall be fairly started, we may do as we 
 please; but it will look much better among 
 the fashionable departures of the Post to have 
 it recorded, — ' Sir Edward Clapperton and 
 the Miss Clappertons, his sisters, from Clap- 
 ham Hall for Bath, where they propose spend- 
 ing the next three months,"' than to have 
 Hastings, Brighton, or indeed any other place 
 inserted in its stead. I shall go down quite 
 incog, by the mail, to make all preparatory 
 arrangements, shall select the very best House 
 still unlet in the city ; and, as nearly twelve 
 months have elapsed since the death of our 
 poor dear father, there will no longer be any
 
 32 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 reasons either of delicacy or affection to pre- 
 vent our appearing in public, and making 
 that display which the family title and fortune 
 fully authorise." 
 
 The Miss Clappertons fully concurred in all 
 the plans of their " admired " and " astonish- 
 ing" brother; and a few days afterwards Sir 
 Edward Clapperton started for Bath. 
 
 That no chance of producing an effect might 
 be thrown away. Sir Edward wrote previ- 
 ously to the proprietor of the York House, 
 announcing his intended arrival, and directing 
 rooms to be prepared for his reception. A 
 new travelling portmanteau, with a silver plate 
 at the top, and the arms of the Clapperton 
 family engraved on it, as well as the name 
 of " Sir Edward Clapperton, Baronet," be- 
 neath the arms, was his only companion ; and 
 when the next morning he descended from the 
 mail-coach, he found a suite of rooms in the 
 most perfect order, and every delicacy and 
 luxury which nature could supply or art could 
 offer, placed at his disposal. The proprietor 
 of the York Hotel knew well the genus to
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 33 
 
 which Sir Edward belonged. " Money was no 
 object." Whilst an old nobleman, with three 
 centuries of heraldry to back him, would take 
 his carpet-bag into the coffee-room, unburthen 
 himself of his tog-roggery, call for tea and a 
 muffin, and think himself well served, the 
 Clapperton race bespeak a suite of rooms for 
 a single man, and take tea, coffee, chocolate, 
 wine, liqueurs, broiled salmon, potted wheat- 
 ears, Yarmouth bloaters, cotelettes a la Main- 
 tenon, and an epigramme d'agneau aux points 
 (Tasperges, for even an early breakfast. These 
 are the sort of persons who make the fortune 
 of an hotel-keeper; and no wonder, therefore, 
 that the master of the York was up and wait- 
 ing, even at a somewhat early hour in a De- 
 cember morning. 
 
 Sir Edward was delighted with the " York." 
 He had magnificent rooms on the first-floor, 
 lounged on the Ottomans, feasted on hors- 
 (Tauvres, admired all, praised everything, and, 
 after refreshing himself with a bath, a barber, 
 a newspaper, and a stroll of two hours, wrote 
 to his sisters as follows : — 
 
 c 5
 
 34 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " Dear girls, 
 
 " This is charming. I slept all night in 
 the mail, except when some City man, with 
 whose face I was not wholly unacquainted, 
 disturbed me by his commercial observations, 
 and his road-side stories. Arrived at seven. 
 Found the ' York ' perfection. Bath delici- 
 ous. Barber, a perfect master of the ceremo- 
 nies. Breakfast, — nothing superior, I should 
 think, out of Paris. The Abbey very fine. 
 The King's, Queen's, and new private baths, 
 admirable; but the great Pump-room, — deli- 
 cious. Milsom and Bond Streets are most 
 inviting; the parades, the crescents, Sydney 
 Gardens, — but, above all, — the Pump-room ! 
 This is the queen of cities. A great poet has 
 written, 
 
 ' Of all the gay places the world can afford, 
 By gentle and simple for pastime adored, 
 Fine balls, and fine concerts, fine buildings and springs, 
 Fine Avalks and fine views, and a thousand fine things, 
 In manners, in dress, in politeness to shine, 
 Bath ! let the art, let the glory be thine ! ' 
 
 " I have seen an inscription to the memory 
 of a lady, which I have copied, just changing
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 35 
 
 the name, as applicable to our departed mother, 
 and propose that it should replace the very 
 unsatisfactory tablet now erected to commemo- 
 rate her virtues and her fame. 
 
 * In memory of Lady Sarah Clapperton, 
 
 Consort of Sir Edward Clapperton, Baronet, 
 
 of Clapham Hall, in the 
 
 Comity of Smrey ; 
 
 Born June 4, 1773. 
 
 Deceased January 11, 1827. 
 
 For more than twenty-four years wife and consort 
 
 to Sir Edward, 
 
 who never saw her once ruffled with anger, 
 
 or heard her utter even a peevish word ; 
 
 whether pained or injured, the same good Avoman, 
 
 in whose mouth, as in whose character, 
 
 was no contradiction. 
 
 Resigned, generous, affable, hospitable ; 
 
 without passion, though not without sense, 
 
 she took offence as little as she gave it ; 
 
 she never was, nor made, an enemy. 
 
 To servants mild ; to her children kind ; 
 
 to her guests hospitable ; to the poor charitable. 
 
 Always caring how to please Sir Edward, 
 yet not less attentive to her duties as a Christian. 
 How few will be able to equal, what all should endeavour 
 to imitate T 
 
 " If you approve of this inscription, I will at- 
 tend to its execution on my arrival in London.
 
 36 THE TORY BARONET, 
 
 "But now, to change the scene, how shall 
 I describe the great Pump-room ? 
 
 ' Ods-bobs ! how delighted I was unawares, 
 With the fiddler I heard in the room above stairs ; 
 For music is wholesome, the doctors all think, 
 For ladies that bathe and for ladies that drink/ 
 
 " There they were, even at ten in the morn- 
 ing, dear creatures, young and old, smiling 
 and frowning, drinking and walking, whilst at 
 the King's Bath and Cross Bath, 
 
 * You cannot conceive what a number of ladies 
 Were wash'd in the water the same as our " Tray" is ; 
 How the ladies did giggle and set up their clacks 
 All the while an old woman was rubbing their backs. 
 Oh ! 'twas charming to see them all put on their flannels, 
 And then take the water like so many spaniels. 
 And tho' all the while it grew hotter and hotter, 
 They swam just as if they were hunting an otter/ 
 
 " For Bath is the region, believe it, dear 
 girls, — yes, Bath is the region to keep soul 
 and body alive. Adieu ! Ever your affec- 
 tionate brother, 
 
 " Edward. 
 
 " P. S. — Do not expect me till I arrive."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 37 
 
 Sir Edward roamed and rode day after day 
 in every direction, from the York House to the 
 Literary Society — from the south wing of Syd- 
 ney Place to the Freemasons' Hall — from Port- 
 land Place to the Circus — from Milsom Street 
 to the Ferry — from Upper Camden Place to 
 the Royal Crescent — from High Street to the 
 Queen's House — from Great Pulteney Street 
 to Prospect Place — from Grosvenor Place 
 even to Pickwick and Corsham House ; exa- 
 mining ail houses, lodgings, and accommoda- 
 tions ; but at last decided in favour of the 
 centre of active life and fashionable bustle, 
 — Milsom Street, and hired for the season the 
 best house in this very magnet of the city, 
 this pulse of Bath movement. 
 
 " The beaux in Milsom Street, who sought renoAvn, 
 By walking up, in order to walk down ! " 
 
 Sir Edward was rather early in his arrange- 
 ments, but he regretted this the less as it af- 
 forded him the advantage of choice ; and the 
 residence he selected was regarded as decidedly
 
 38 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 one of the very best in the whole city. He 
 was delighted to find that the entertainments 
 for visitors were as various as they were nu- 
 merous, and that what he had been told by 
 an old visitor was true, that 
 
 " 'Twas amazing they found such a number of ways 
 Of employing his thoughts all the time that he stays.'* 
 
 That his intended arrival might be no secret, 
 Sir Edward subscribed to the assembly-rooms, 
 public library, literary, philosophical, and 
 even charitable institutions, giving cheques on 
 Drummond's with nonchalance and affability, 
 and requesting every one to whom he spoke, 
 and especially the Master of the Ceremonies, 
 on no account to allow him to omit any duty or 
 subscription which was customary on the part 
 of the nobility or gentry. 
 
 When Sir Edward had terminated to his 
 entire satisfaction these preparatory arrange- 
 ments, he directed the waiter to secure him 
 a place by the York House coach to London, 
 and left, for a few days, this paragon of cities.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 39 
 
 * 
 There were two other inside passengers. The 
 
 first was Miss Appleton, who, as the head 
 milliner of the place, was proceeding to Lon- 
 don to receive her last arrivals, in the shape 
 of fashions and fineries from Herbault's ; and 
 who was said to be, by good judges, one of 
 the prettiest women in Bath. The other pas- 
 senger was Lord Swainton, of whom, and of 
 whose proceedings, we shall at least attempt 
 a description. 
 
 Lord Swainton was of middling stature, 
 with a large head, not wholly bald, but par- 
 tially covered with greyish hair, with small 
 light eyes, an amazing mouth, immense ears, a 
 hat which nearly covered his eyebrows, brown 
 leather gloves, with holes in them, a blue 
 dress-coat with gilt buttons, a yellow ker- 
 seymere waistcoat, and pantaloons, which hung 
 in loose drapery over his bony and somewhat 
 shrunken limbs. He had a nervous action of 
 the shoulders, the result of a perpetual state 
 of incredible excitement, and a facility in con- 
 versation which was truly appalling; possess-
 
 40 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 ing a title without an estate, and great con- 
 versational talents, unaccompanied by any very 
 burdensome amount of principle, he astonished 
 the ignorant, deceived the unwary, and even 
 baffled those who set themselves up as tolerably 
 good judges of human nature. What he lacked 
 in fortune he made up in wit ; and as he believed 
 with Talleyrand, that speech was given to man 
 to assist him in cajoling others, he acted on 
 the principle he adopted, and found that few 
 were those who could resist his startling pro- 
 positions, or his extraordinary pretensions. 
 Lord Swainton, at the period of which we 
 write, was about fifty-five years of age. Re 
 admitted only forty-five when a pretty woman 
 was present ; but ten years more when it be- 
 came necessary for him to appeal to his age 
 and experience in confirmation of the truth 
 of some very novel and unbelievable dogma. 
 Possessing but a very small income, and in- 
 dulging in expensive habits, he relied a good 
 deal on the *' Ace of Diamonds" and the " King 
 of Hearts." Amongst the various characteris- 
 tics, combinations, and attributes which united
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 41 
 
 to form his tout ensemble, there was one more 
 than the rest which puzzled those who thought 
 and spoke of him, and that was, that though 
 his pockets were empty, his appetite prodi- 
 gious, and his private table expensive, yet 
 that he talked incessantly as though to in- 
 crease the demand of his animal nature for 
 supply ; whereas prudence should have dic- 
 tated to him rather the husbanding than the 
 throwing away of his resources. He was the 
 greatest talker in Europe, and the poorest 
 peer of England. Well acquainted with Bath 
 society, possessed of a quantum of assurance 
 almost inconceivable, and ever ready to avail 
 himself of every circumstance which could pro- 
 mote his own daily interests by administering 
 to his daily wants ; the intended arrival of 
 Sir Edward Clapperton and his sisters for the 
 season, the temporary stay of the former at 
 the " York,** his approaching return to Lon- 
 don, and even the hour of his departure, were 
 known in all their order of time to this watcher 
 for golden opportunities ; and his visit to the 
 metropolis in the same coach which conveyed
 
 42 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 Sir Edward, was an event neither accidental 
 nor singular. 
 
 " I think we had better cross legs, Sir 
 Edward Clapperton," said Lord Swainton ; 
 " nothing like making oneself comfortable in 
 these public vehicles, eh. Sir Edward ? I 
 know you are not accustomed to this kind of 
 travelling. Beggars description !" 
 
 Sir Edward blushed. " How could he be 
 known ? Who was this old-clothes-man-look- 
 ing sort of person that addressed him with so 
 much of familiarity, though respect ?'' 
 
 " With whom have I the honour of travel- 
 ling?" asked Sir Edward, with a voice be- 
 tween surprise and diffidence. 
 
 " Oh ! nobody — nobody, merely Lord 
 Swainton of Swainton ; every one knows me 
 at Bath, member of the Upper House, well- 
 known at the Carlton, Brookes's, the Athe- 
 naeum, United Service, and University. Jack 
 of all trades, and master of none. He ! he ! 
 he ! a great talker and a small wit ; but twenty 
 years ago (addressing himself to his fair and 
 opposite companion) an adorer of your sex,
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 43 
 
 Mademoiselle, and a tolerably fortunate one 
 too, for my girls laugh at me sometimes, and 
 say, ' my lord, you have broken more hearts 
 than you have banks/ He ! he ! he ! Beg- 
 gars description !" 
 
 " Lord Swainton of Swainton," thought Sir 
 Edward, " this is fortunate. He says he is 
 well known at Bath ; a peer of the realm ; no 
 doubt a wealthy and eccentric nobleman ; can 
 tell me everything I want to know ; perhaps 
 introduce me to Bath society ; this is lucky ; I 
 wonder whether he is a Tory." 
 
 " Your lordship, I believe, belongs to the 
 Conservative interest.'' 
 
 Lord Swainton hesitated an instant, for he 
 was full of care not to offend Sir Edward's 
 prejudices, if he had any; since, although he 
 had discovered all that related to the fortune 
 and origin of the Clapperton family before he 
 secured his place at the York to travel with 
 Sir Edward, he had not been able to find 
 out anything relating to their politics; so, 
 without answering the inquiry, he dexterously 
 replied.
 
 44 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " Sir Edward, doubtless, is of that great 
 party ? " 
 
 " Unquestionably," said Sir Edward; and 
 as Lord Swainton had now obtained satisfac- 
 tory information on the only point upon which 
 he was ignorant, he exclaimed, 
 
 " I need not have asked you the question, 
 Sir Edward ; all gentlemen are Conservatives. 
 I am a Tory to the backbone. The Duke is 
 my most intimate friend. Sir Robert has in- 
 vited me to Drayton. Lord Sturnley calls 
 me his political father, and I am proud to say 
 my pupil does me justice. Wit, wine, and 
 women, Sir Edward, have made him what he 
 is. Oh, yes ! Church and State, and Church 
 and King have been the watchwords of my 
 family from the time of Constantine down- 
 wards. The founder of my race had the 
 sword left him which Constantine wore when 
 the cross appeared in the heavens. My eldest 
 boy has a MS. written by Constantine him- 
 self, giving a minute description of every 
 particular of that extraordinary event. The 
 Government offered him five thousand pounds
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 45 
 
 for its possession, but he very properly refused, 
 saying, ' that would, indeed, be selling my 
 birthright for a mess of pottage.' He ! he ! 
 he ! Beggars description ! " 
 
 " This is a capital fellow,'" muttered Sir 
 Edward to himself. *' To think of his son 
 refusing five thousand pounds for a MS., 
 rather than part with a family relic. These 
 hereditary families are those I wish to becorne 
 acquainted with, who can thus afford to sacri- 
 fice five thousand pounds, without hesitation, 
 when a ' family ' consideration requires it to be 
 made. He says he knows Bath well. I must 
 direct our conversation to that topic, and above 
 all seek to make his acquaintance. Yet I must 
 not appear too anxious, for I have been told 
 these hereditary noblemen are very touchy and 
 difficult to please." 
 
 " That was a noble trait in his character, 
 indeed," said Sir Edward aloud. 
 
 " Oh, nothing at all, nothing at all ! it 's 
 family, not fortune. Sir Edward, that consti- 
 tutes a man. Thank God, he wants neither ! 
 Married the most beautiful woman in Europe.
 
 46 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 When George the Fourth saw her, he said, 
 ' that woman must be Venus.' Ha ! ha ! 
 ha ! Beggars description ! My poor boy 
 was sadly afraid his Majesty would fall in love 
 with her ; but it was ten years too late. The 
 bravest man in the British army, sir. The 
 Duke said to me, ' Swainton, take care of that 
 boy of yours, he 's the bravest lad in his 
 Majesty's service.' Made but a poor match 
 after all — as far as money is concerned — 
 thirty thousand pounds down, and six thou- 
 sand a-year for life. Poor work for a peer's 
 eldest son — but ' any port in a storm'. Beg- 
 gars description ! " 
 
 *' Oh ! how little these hereditary families 
 regard money,"" thought Sir Edward, who 
 looked on his new acquaintance with friendly 
 but respectful feelings; and then determining 
 not to allow the hours to glide by without 
 hearing from his distinguished companion all 
 that his long acquaintance with Bath would 
 enable him to communicate respecting that 
 place, he observed, 
 
 " I think your lordship said that you are
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 47 
 
 well acquainted with Bath. I have just taken 
 a decent sort of house in Milsom Street for 
 myself and my sisters for the season, and any 
 information I could obtain as to Bath customs 
 and society would be really quite an obliga- 
 tion ; especially from one moving in such 
 society as — " 
 
 " Oh ! you 're very good, you 're very 
 obliging. Yes, I have known Bath these thirty 
 years: dined hundreds of times with Mr. 
 Staring, the great London banker, in the very 
 house which you have just taken, Sir Edward. 
 No man gives better Hock than Staring. By 
 the bye, I fell in love with Anna Selina Sto- 
 race in your breakfast parlour. She had called 
 in to consult the Marchioness of Littlebury 
 concerning the monument she and Braham 
 were about erecting to Rauzzini, who so long 
 conducted the musical department of that cit}^, 
 and she shed so many tears whilst speaking 
 of her former professor, that the hearth rug 
 was quite saturated with tears. Beggars de- 
 scription ! She had her young minor canon 
 with her at the time, you know who I mean.
 
 48 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 Braham, the Canterbury canon, then a little 
 boy, and I loved her for the sake of her tears. 
 I suppose no woman ever shed so many tears 
 in her life before as poor Storace did on the 
 death of her old professor. The best Madona's 
 head I ever saw in my life was at a small inn 
 at Pisa. I call it the best, for the face was 
 covered with tears, literally covered. You 
 would have imagined that the tears had washed 
 out all the vermilion of her cheeks, and even 
 the ruby redness of her lips. The innkeeper 
 has had thousands and thousands of offers for 
 his Madona, but nothing could induce him to 
 sell her. The rogue had very good reasons. 
 His inn was always full to see the picture. 
 When I was last there, there were nine or ten 
 carriages in the court-yard ; and as many more 
 applicants, but all the beds were let. Talking 
 of Pisa, I remember Lady Quickborough whom 
 I met there, and with whom I had been ac- 
 quainted ten years before at Bath ; she had the 
 whitest teeth I ever saw in my life. Crossing 
 the Simplon afterwards in her carriage, I said 
 to her. Lady Quickborough, I must lay a
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 49 
 
 wager with you ; and she said, ' Well, what 
 about ?' So I said, ' that your ladyship's 
 teeth are whiter than snow,* and opening the 
 door of the vehicle I sprang on the ground, 
 and took up a handful of snow just drifted. 
 How she did laugh ! I never heard a woman 
 laugh so much in ray life. I suppose she 
 lauo;hed two hours without ceasino; — but I 
 won my wager, for she was obliged to admit 
 that her teeth were whiter than even the then 
 falling snow. And now what do you think was 
 the wager? turning to the pretty Bath mar^ 
 chande de modes, who sat and smiled in the 
 corner. ' I am sure I cannot tell, my lord,' 
 she replied. Why, five kisses on her ruby 
 lips, to be sure. Ha ! ha ! ha ! and yet few 
 men kissed Lady Quickborough. Beggars de- 
 scription ! " 
 
 " I think Lady Quickborough is dead," re- 
 marked Sir Edward. 
 
 " Yes, she is dead. Fine, tall, majestic, 
 splendid woman, — cut off in the prime of her 
 days, — not fifty, — as stately as the oak of 
 the forest, and protecting and shading all 
 
 VOL. I. D
 
 50 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 whom she cherished by her large heart and 
 noble character. Never think of her without 
 recalling the lines of the poet, 
 
 ' As some tall clifF, that lifts its aAvfol fonn 
 High o'er the vale, and midway braves the storm ; 
 Though round its breast the rolling clouds are spread, 
 Eternal sunshine settles on its head.' 
 
 Lady Fortbury was another of the frequent- 
 ers of Bath in my younger days. She was, 
 perhaps, the most loveable woman that your 
 eyes ever feasted on. I remember Lord Clif- 
 ford said of her. 
 
 * collected there, 
 
 As in one point, all nature's charms appear.' 
 
 Her feet were the smallest ever seen in the 
 British dominions, and were perfect bijoiix in 
 a cotillon. The first time I saw her was at 
 Teignmouth, where she was fond of straying 
 along the road leading to Dawlish under the 
 cliffs. I surprised her once in her rambles; 
 for, as she did not hear me approach, I made her 
 tremble again when I said, 
 
 * And list with pleasing dread to the deep roar 
 Of the wide weltering waves.'
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 51 
 
 She started like a fawn, and made a bound 
 like an antelope. She was the most agile 
 woman I ever saw; — would jump twenty or 
 thirty feet like a young roe upon the moun- 
 tains, and laugh at those she left miles behind 
 her. Beggared description ! " 
 
 " Then there was the Countess of Steepdeen. 
 I was a vast favourite of hers. We used to_call 
 her Lady Macbeth. She knew Shakspeare by 
 heart, — never missed a word, — could begin a 
 play at the beginning and go on to the end 
 without the smallest assistance from her promp- 
 ter. Her evening Shaksperian readings were 
 crowded to suffocation. Many persons nearly 
 died at those parties from heat and emotion. 
 As to her Summer festivals at Steepdeen they 
 were beyond the power of language to de- 
 scribe, when all the graces and wits of the 
 day were clustered around her. And then 
 such scenery ! 
 
 * Solemnly vast. The trees of various shade, 
 Scene behind scene, with fair delusive pomp. 
 Enrich the prospect.' 
 
 I remember meeting Ugo Foscolo there, — 
 
 d2 
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 ^,>,^.T-u nr IIIINni^
 
 52 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 an odd man, — poor looking creature, — but 
 quite a poet. 
 
 ' The poet's eye in a fine phrenzy rolling — 
 
 You know the rest. But I shall tire you 
 with quotations ! Poetry and the fair sex," 
 turning to ihemarchande de modes again, "were 
 always my idols. He ! he ! he ! Beggars 
 description ! " 
 
 Sir Edward entreated his lordship to con- 
 tinue his most agreeable reminiscences; and 
 the pretty milliner ventured to say, " that 
 she thought it was quite delightful to travel 
 in such company." 
 
 "Ha! ha! ha!" shouted his lordship, in 
 a tone of affected gaiety, " well, if you will 
 have some more of my recollections, I remem- 
 ber, then, your father. Sir Edward ; I met 
 him some years ago, at the coffee-room at the 
 York." 
 
 " Indeed," said Sir Edward. " Yes ; I re- 
 member, now your lordship is so good as 
 to mention it, that my father did once go down 
 to Bath on a business affair, on occasion of
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 53 
 
 a splendid fete given by the Duchess of Coun- 
 terpoint." 
 
 " And a more straightforward, gentlemanly, 
 mild, agreeable, man I have never met with 
 than your father, Sir Edward. Do you re- 
 member the lines of Akenside ? 
 
 * Approach ! behold this marble. Know ye not 
 The features r " 
 
 pointing at the same time with his fore-finger 
 to Sir Edward, as he spoke. '* Vast resem- 
 blance, sir, between your features and those 
 of your late excellent father. I might have 
 continued Akenside''s lines and asked 
 
 hath not oft his faithful tongue 
 
 Told you the fashion of your own estate, 
 The secrets of your bosom ? ' 
 
 Your father, Sir Edward, was a truly honest 
 man ; and who will not say of him, — 
 
 ' An honest man 's the noblest work of God.' " 
 
 " You are really too kind, my lord," said 
 Sir Edward, who was captivated with the 
 apparent feeling and respect with which Lord 
 Swainton had spoken of his father. " I shall
 
 54 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 long remember this agreeable journey from 
 Bath." 
 
 " And I am sure I shall," said the pretty 
 milliner. 
 
 " What are those lines of that fellow 
 Moore's .? '* asked his lordship. 
 
 '* ' Beauty and Folly and Reason, they say, 
 Went on a party of pleasure one day.' 
 
 The lots are soon cast here, at any rate. 
 I will take that of Folly, with my wings ; and 
 Beauty and Reason belong to my fellow passen- 
 gers ! He ! he ! he ! Beggars description !" 
 
 " Indeed you are mistaken," replied Sir 
 Edward, " not as to both, but as to one of 
 the characters. We know to whom beauty 
 belongs, undoubtedly ; but I confess I should 
 personate Foll}^ much better than Reason." 
 
 " If it be true that ' it takes a wise man 
 to make a fool,' perhaps you may personate 
 that character Sir Edward," said Lord Swain- 
 ton, with somewhat of assumed gravity. " Your 
 father also, sir, was a modest man. ' Great 
 modesty is nearly always allied to great talents 
 or great virtues,' was a favourite maxim of
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 55 
 
 another Bath frequenter some five-and-twenty 
 years ago, — Major Shovell, an unpropitious 
 name, but, I suppose, the wisest man that ever 
 lived, i. e. in modern times. He wrote some 
 beautiful lines on the Bath waters, which began, 
 
 * Scar'd at thy presence start the train of death, 
 And hide their whips and scorpions. Thee, confas'd, 
 Slow fever creeps from ; thee the meagre fiend 
 Consmiiption flies, and checks his rattling coughsu' 
 
 Talking of coughs, though, poor Major Sho- 
 vell died of the most dreadful cough I have 
 ever heard in all my life. He would some- 
 times cough two and three hours at a time 
 without ceasing, till he became so black that it 
 was impossible to discover the smallest difference 
 between his hat and his face. Quite dreadful ! 
 He died at the end of a cough of nearly four 
 hours' length. I have never forgiven myself 
 for no.t attending his funeral, even though I 
 was at the time he died a perfect skeleton, not 
 one ounce of flesh on all my body ; persons 
 used to come and see me as a curious spectacle ; 
 my bones pierced through my skin in every 
 direction. You might have seen my heart beat
 
 56 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 and my lungs respire. But the Bath waters 
 restored me. 
 
 * Hygeia broods, with watchful wing, 
 O'er ancient Baden's mystic spring ; 
 And speeds from its sulphureous source 
 The steamy torrent's secret course ; 
 And fans th' eternal sparks of hidden fire. 
 In deep unfathom'd beds below, 
 By Bladud's magic taught to glow ; 
 Bladud, high theme of Fancy's gothic lyre.' 
 
 I remember one of your late father's excel- 
 lent kind-hearted friends who was fond of 
 Bath, Sir Charles Stilton, a great friend of the 
 Duke of York's, and indeed of everybody who 
 knew him. The last time I saw him was at 
 the Pump-room, I asked him, ' Were you 
 not well acquainted with the Duke of York, 
 Sir Charles Stilton ? ' — ' Well acquainted with 
 the Duke of York ? Yes, I was indeed well 
 acquainted with him. He was a good man ; 
 yes, he was a good man ; as good a man as 
 ever brake bread ; and he took his wine freely, 
 freely ."' — ' Did you know Mr. Pitt, Sir Charles 
 Stilton ?'—* Did I know Mr. Pitt? Yes, I 
 did know Mr. Pitt. He was a good man too.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 57 
 
 Yes, he was a good man, as good a man as 
 ever brake bread ; and he took his wine freely, 
 freely.' — ' Did you know Mr. Canning, Sir 
 Charles ? '—' Did / know Mr. Canning ? To 
 be sure I knew Mr. Canning. He was a good 
 man. Yes, he was a good man. Mr. Canning 
 was as good a man as ever brake bread ; and 
 he took his wine freely, freely." And thus I 
 went on conversing with Sir Charles Stilton for 
 an hour or two in the Pump-room, walking 
 up and down, as was his custom, with his stick 
 in his hand, but his hands behind him ; and in 
 answer to all my inquiries he said the same 
 thing of every one of whom he spake well 
 (and he resembled your father in one thing. Sir 
 Edward, he spoke ill of no one), ' He was a 
 good man, sir, as good a man as ever brake 
 bread, and he took his wine freely, freely." " 
 
 Lord Swainton perceived with pleasure that 
 they had arrived at Marlborough, and learnt 
 with no small satisfaction that the coach stop- 
 ped half an hour to afford passengers the neces- 
 sary time for taking refreshments. 
 
 " Well, Sir Edward, what say you to a little 
 
 d5
 
 58 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 soup, a deviled fowl, some chateau margaux ; 
 and taking this pretty belle into our party ? " 
 
 The pretty belle declined the honour, " as 
 she could never eat or drink when travelling ;" 
 but Sir Edward was delighted at the proposi- 
 tion, and " thought his lordship an admirable 
 caterer."" 
 
 " An additional halfcrown to the coachman, 
 and another to the guard, will procure us an 
 extra quarter of an hour for our dinner, and we 
 can do some mischief with a knife and fork in 
 that time, at any rate," said his lordship. 
 
 The coachman and guard looked well pleased, 
 the landlord recommended his claret, but " took 
 the liberty of suggesting, that a glass of ' par- 
 ticular' madeira, after the mulligatawney soup, 
 would not be amiss ;" and whilst the fowl was 
 deviling he introduced some amusing patties. 
 
 " Now for the bill," said his lordship to the 
 waiter, as he emptied the last portion of claret 
 into his glass, and cracked one walnut ; and 
 then turning to Sir Edward, he observed : 
 " We have dined well to-day, at any rate. 
 What will be the reckoning ? "
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 59 
 
 " Oh, two or three guineas," said Sir Ed- 
 ward, with real and unaffected indifference. 
 
 " No more ? " said his lordship ; *' then it 
 will not be worth dividing : you will allow me 
 to consider you my guest, Sir Edward ? " 
 
 '* That would be impossible, my lord," said 
 Sir Edward. " If your lordship will confer on 
 me the privilege, of allowing me the honour of 
 saying, that at least I once had the advantage 
 of having Lord Swainton as mine, I should be 
 both charmed and grateful." 
 
 " Oh no, no, no, Sir Edward ; you must not 
 ask that, — but come, 'head or tail?' that's the 
 best way; you shall cry, and — ;" his lordship 
 broke off abruptly in the middle of his sen- 
 tence, with apparent confusion, but, thrusting 
 his hands into all his pockets, with seeming 
 horror said, " 1 '11 turn that fellow away. 
 That 's the third time this has happened to 
 me. Sir Edward. My valet, a most confiden- 
 tial fellow, to whom I would entrust untold 
 millions, who keeps my keys, cheque-books, 
 government securities, everything, in fact, not 
 in my banker's hands, has allowed me to
 
 60 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 come to London, now the third time, without 
 a stiver in my pocket. I can forgive this no 
 longer; I must send him his discharge from 
 this very spot — this very house;" and then, 
 raising his voice, he called back the waiter, and 
 desired him to bring a sheet of paper and 
 sealing-wax. 
 
 Sir Edward implored his lordship not to 
 discharge so invaluable a servant for even 
 this third act of negligence, but to reflect 
 how difficult it was to procure one in whom 
 confidence could be placed. " Besides which," 
 added Sir Edward ; " I beg your lordship 
 will feel that you have your purse-bearer 
 with you." 
 
 " Oh, you are too good, indeed. I cannot 
 think of that; yet it will be provokingly 
 awkward to arrive in London without even 
 a sovereign in one's pocket ; and I dare say 
 the fellow has never paid my place. I really 
 would write, but my daughter at Bath is leav- 
 ing to-day for Cheltenham, and the letter might 
 not reach her." 
 
 Sir Edward placed a handful of gold on
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 61 
 
 the table, and Lord Swainton was good enough 
 to borrow five sovereigns. 
 
 " It is, indeed, an ill wind that blows no 
 one any good," said Sir Edward ; " for I hope 
 this inattention of your lordship's servant may 
 induce your lordship to make Clapham Hall 
 your head-quarters whilst sojourning in the 
 metropolis, though I regret to learn you are 
 leaving Bath." 
 
 " You are much too kind," said his lord- 
 ship ; " much too kind ! I shall be often at 
 Bath, though I have broken up my establish- 
 ment there." 
 
 " Now, gentlemen — now, my lord — if you 
 please," said the guard, who had extended 
 the refreshment from thirty minutes to nearly 
 an hour. "Go, we must now, if you please." 
 
 Sir Edward paid the bill, and the coach 
 proceeded. The impression made by Lord 
 Swainton on Sir Edward was evidently so 
 favourable, that the former resolved on con- 
 tinuing the same line of proceeding which 
 had already led to such happy results. 
 
 " An admirable dinner, and first-rate wine
 
 62 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 gratis,'' thought his lordship ; " five sovereigns 
 in a purse not of late often so patronised, an in- 
 vitation to a citizen's mansion, and other good 
 things in store, are no bad symptoms of im- 
 proving fortune. Courage ! courage ! and all 
 will be right yet. Who can tell but that I 
 may make one of the Miss Clappertons Lady 
 Swainton ? BrsLvo, hravo I allons, allons ! 'A 
 faint heart never won a fair lady.' Beggars 
 description." So he recommenced as follows ; — 
 
 " I think we were talking of Sir Charles 
 Stilton, Sir Edward, when our dinner sur- 
 prised us so agreeably." 
 
 '* Yes, my lord, and I remember a story, 
 of Sir Charles, which, perhaps, may amuse you. 
 When a plain cheesemonger in the city, a 
 carter went into his shop, and asked for a 
 ha'pworth of cheese. ' We don't make ha'- 
 pworths of cheese,' said Sir Charles; ' we make 
 nothing less than pennyworths'.' — ' Well, then, 
 cut me a pennyworth's,' replied the carter, 
 and the pennyworth of cheese was cut. ' Lend 
 me your knife a moment, master,' said the 
 carter, who, cutting the pennyworth of cheese
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 63 
 
 in two, took up one half, and threw down 
 a halfpenny, exclaiming, ' There master, that's 
 the way to make a ha'pworth of cheese.' Sir 
 Charles used to tell this story to ministers 
 of state, bishops, and even princes of the 
 blood. But pray, my lord, let me hear 
 something more about Bath." 
 
 " Bath, Sir Edward, has fallen off of late 
 years. It was once the very liveliest place I 
 ever set my foot into. That was when it was 
 said, 
 
 ' Fashion in everything bears sov'reign sway, 
 And Bath for " Life," the gayest of the gay !' 
 
 Balls, parties, promenades, teas, theatre, as- 
 sembly - rooms, recitations, suppers, and I 
 know not what besides. Never a moment idle. 
 Wearied to death with pleasure, and yet will- 
 ing to die over again, so great was the enjoy- 
 ment. The Duchess of Dimples was at that 
 time in her glory. Beauteous creature ! All 
 the men were her slaves ! She ruled over us 
 all ; but not with an iron rod, but with a 
 golden sceptre, or rather with a fairy wand. 
 Every one wept when they saw her get old. I
 
 64 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 never shall forget the last time she entered the 
 Pump-room, how the rank and beauty and 
 fashion of Bath crowded round her whom 
 nature and art had united to render one of the 
 most beautiful, accomplished, and superior an- 
 gels of this nether sphere ; and I recollect 
 Captain Beauchamp repeated the lines to '* Old 
 Time," invoking him to ward off his dire effects 
 from her lovely person. 
 
 ' Know, should'st thou bid the beauteous Duchess fade, 
 Thou, therefore, must thy own delights invade ; 
 And know, 'twill be a long, long while. 
 Before thou giv'st her equal to our isle — 
 Then do not with this sweet chef-d' auvre part, 
 But keep, to shew the triumph of thy art.* 
 
 Those were the bright days of Bath, Sir 
 Edward, next to those of Beau Nash ; beggared 
 description ! 
 
 '* Sir Joseph Binks was a great lover of 
 Bath, Sir Edward, a man of great parts and 
 wondrous knowledge. I've talked with him 
 for hours together, and he used to make me 
 laugh till my sides literally split, and my 
 eyes became perennial fountains for my tears 
 of joy and hilarity, when he sang to an old
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 65 
 
 humdrum tune, some lines written by Peter 
 Pindar on the discovery of Botany Bay by 
 Captain Cook. 
 
 ' You have heard of Captain Cook, our worthy great com- 
 mander ! 
 
 The great Sir Joseph Binks, and Doctor Solander ; 
 
 They sail'd round the world, were perplex'd and were 
 teased too — 
 
 To find out a place where the King might send his 
 thieves to ! 
 
 So, Britons, fill up bumpers, rejoice now, and all sing. 
 
 What a glorious set of thieves we shall have from their 
 ofi"spring. 
 
 ' Bow, wow, &c.' 
 
 Ha ! ha ! ha ! Those were the days, Sir 
 Edward, the days of the Beef Steak Club, 
 Peter Pindar, and the Sons of Anacreon ; beg- 
 gared description !" 
 
 " They must have been joyous times, in- 
 deed," replied Sir Edward ; " but what is life 
 at Bath now, my Lord ? No one can give me 
 a better idea than your lordship how to pass 
 away my time, and enable my sisters to kill 
 theirs during the next three months." 
 
 " Oh, Bath is still a very delightful place. 
 Not what it was — but very delightful. In the
 
 66 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 morning to the Pump-room — then from ihe 
 Pump-room to the Parades — the Crescents — a 
 drive — a walk in Sydney gardens — a peep at 
 Prior Park — a lounge in the libraries — exhi- 
 bitions — billiards — a game of chess — a hand at 
 whist — backgammon if you will ; early dinners 
 — the theatre — or the rooms — cards — dancing 
 — scandal — gossip — tea — ices — and home. 
 There is the Harmonic Society, if you are fond 
 of glees and catches. Riding schools, if your 
 sisters are not good horsewomen. Baths, if 
 they love warm water. Sedan-chairs for quiet 
 snug rides, with a novel to read at leisure; 
 or your own carriage for a favourite drive, 
 when the weather is not unpropitious. 
 
 ' SAveet Bath, the liveliest city of the land, 
 Where health and pleasure ramble hand in hand, 
 Where smiling belles their earliest visits pay, 
 And faded maids their ling'ring blooms delay ; 
 Delightful scenes of elegance and ease, 
 Realms of the gay, where every sport can please !' 
 
 Ha ! ha ! ha ! plenty of mirth, frolic, fun, 
 and amusement still. Sir Edward. Beofsars 
 description ! The great secret is to know where
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 67 
 
 to find them all at a moment's notice, and to 
 
 catch that moment as it flies, 
 
 * Life let us cherish 
 While yet the taper glows.' 
 
 Eh, Sir Edward? and if an old man like my- 
 self, can be of any use to you, I shall be most 
 happy to become your chaperon, or rather that 
 of your sisters, when I am there, and that will 
 be often, for I am a bit of a roamer. Bath 
 society and Bath enjoyments beggar descrip- 
 tion, w^hen really known, and really tasted ; 
 but a stranger, even with fortune and rank, 
 will remain a stranger, still, unless introduced 
 to the best circles. All depends on introduc- 
 tion. Your father's character I knew well, and 
 I shall be most happy to be useful to his son." 
 
 Sir Edward's gratitude knew no bounds. 
 He insisted on conducting Lord Swainton to 
 Clapham Hall, on their arrival in London, and 
 informed his lordship that his carriage would 
 be waiting for him at the White Horse Cellar, 
 to convey him to his waiting and anxious sisters. 
 
 Lord Swainton was afraid that his sisters 
 might be inconvenienced by the intrusion of
 
 68 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 a perfect stranger, and at so early an hour 
 in the morning too, and proposed to defer his 
 visit till the next day ; but the less anxious 
 he appeared to be to make the acquaintance 
 of the Clappertons, the more anxious was Sir 
 Edward to secure him, till at last his lord- 
 ship said, " that he felt it would really be 
 rude, after such marked attention on Sir 
 Edward's part, to decline so obliging an in- 
 vitation." 
 
 On arriving at the White Horse Cellar, Sir 
 Edward directed his groom, who was in at- 
 tendance, to pay all charges to the coachman 
 and guard, both for himself and his lordship; 
 and whilst all was preparing, and Lord Swainton 
 was arranging his toilette, Sir Edward started 
 off a ticket-porter in a hackney-coach with in- 
 structions to proceed at full speed all the way 
 to Clapham Hall, with two words from Sir 
 Edward to the Miss Clappertons, viz : 
 
 " Dearest girls, 
 
 " I have only two minutes in which to say 
 that 1 have arrived in town, and shall be with
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 69 
 
 you half an hour after this billet-doux, with 
 a peer of the realm, Lord Swainton of Swain- 
 ton, a widower, the most captivating man ima- 
 ginable. Prepare all for him in the twinkling 
 
 of an eye. 
 
 " Ever yours, 
 
 " Edward." 
 
 The travellers soon followed, and Sir Edward 
 forthwith introduced Lord Swainton in due 
 form to his sisters. 
 
 Lord Swainton complimented the Miss Clap- 
 pertons on their '* roseate " appearance, and 
 declared " that they would carry health to 
 Bath, instead of seeking it from that charming 
 city." The portrait of their father next claimed 
 his attention. " What an admirable portrait ! " 
 said his lordship, and then in an under tone, 
 approaching the Miss Clappertons, and shak- 
 ing his head, he said, 
 
 " ' Yes, we have lost a father ! 
 
 The greatest blessing heaven bestows on mortals, 
 And seldom found amidst these wilds of time, 
 A good, a worthy king ! ' "
 
 70 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 The Miss Clappertons looked grave. It was 
 their duty to do so. 
 
 " And that is the portrait, I presume," he 
 added, " of your late mother, Lady Clapper- 
 ton?" 
 
 " It is, my lord,'' said Sophia, with a 
 marked emphasis of respect and humility. 
 
 " And the very model of goodness ! The 
 very perfection of good-nature, she must have 
 been ;" remarked his lordship, " there are 
 some faces," bowing at the same time to the 
 Miss Clappertons, " which can never deceive 
 you." 
 
 " She was an admirable woman, indeed,"" 
 said Miss Sophia. 
 
 "' Yes, that she was,'' added Miss Char- 
 lotte ; and as Sir Edward perceived the con- 
 versation was unexpectedly taking a serious 
 turn, he said, 
 
 " Will your lordship allow me to show 
 you your room, preparatory to our hour of 
 luncheon. To-day we will lunch early." 
 
 His lordship " would be truly grateful," and 
 suggested how happy he should be to look
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 71 
 
 over the mansion, which was indeed even more 
 delightful than he had imagined or believed. 
 
 " This is the billiard-room, my lord. What 
 does your lordship think of it ?" 
 
 " That it is even worthy of having you, 
 Sir Edward, for its proprietor. Beggars de- 
 scription I" 
 
 " This is the library, my lord ; not so much 
 frequented, I am sorry to say, as it should be." 
 
 " There are other modes of acquiring know- 
 ledge than by reading,'' replied his lordship ; 
 " you belong no doubt, Sir Edward, to those 
 who find sermons in stones, books in the run- 
 ning brooks — and good in everything. He ! 
 he! he! That's the way, Sir Edward, live 
 to learn, and learn to live. Beggars descrip- 
 tion !" 
 
 " That was my poor dear father's bedroom," 
 said Sir Edward, pausing at the door, and 
 not entering the chamber. 
 
 " Ah ! " sighed Lord Swainton, 
 
 " ' The chamber where tlie good man meets his fate, 
 Is privileged beyond the common walk 
 Of virtuous life, — quite on the verge of heav'n.' "
 
 72 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " And this is your chamber, my lord,'' said 
 Sir Edward, opening the door of the state- 
 bedroom of Clapham Hall. 
 
 " Fine room — good proportions — admira- 
 ble wainscoting — just like poor dear Lady 
 Dorothy's room at Swainton. She never 
 would sleep in any other — was born there — 
 nursed there — cradled there — fondled there — 
 brought up there — slept there the first night 
 of her marriage — brought seven children into 
 the world there — got sick there — died there 
 — and went to heaven there. Just such an- 
 other room. What a splendid prospect ! beau- 
 tiful pictures ! Thank you, Sir Edward, I am 
 sorry to occasion you so much trouble, I will 
 join you when your alarum shall call us to 
 your luncheon." So Sir Edward left his lord- 
 ship to arrange his toilette, and thus afforded 
 him time to reflect on this change of affairs, 
 and to ask himself whether this was 
 
 " the tide in the affairs of men, 
 
 Which taken at the flood leads on to fortune." 
 " Well, don't you think I 'm a lucky dog .'^
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 73 
 
 asked Sir Edward of his sisters, as he rejoined 
 them in the dining-room whilst Lord Swain- 
 ton made himself " beau " in the best sleeping- 
 chamber. 
 
 " Indeed you are," said Charlotte. 
 
 " Oh, it 's quite delightful ! " replied Sophia. 
 
 " And what a charming man," continued 
 Charlotte. 
 
 " Any one can see he is a nobleman,*' added 
 Sophia. 
 
 " And wealthy as well as noble," said Sir 
 Edward ; " none of your pauper lords — but 
 an out-and-out nobleman in every sense of the 
 word. He knows every one and everything. 
 We shall get introduced at Bath to the elite 
 of society. But mind, girls, I beseech you to 
 mind, ' we are Tories.' " 
 
 " That is, we are for the government you 
 mean, don't you, Edward ? '"' asked Sophia. 
 
 " Yes, to be sure, my dear ; for the Duke, 
 for Sir Robert, and all that sort of thing. And 
 pray mind, not one word about Dissenters. 
 Church and State — Church and King — State 
 and King, and the Tories for ever ! " 
 
 VOL. I. E
 
 74 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " Don't fear, dear Edward," said Charlotte ; 
 " your sisters will not disgrace you." 
 
 " Oh, I am quite sure of that, my dear girl, 
 but then you know one does not get hold of 
 these real out-and-out noblemen every day ; 
 and the best of it is, he knows all about us, 
 — met our poor dear father at Bath when he 
 went there, some years since, on an affair of 
 business; and therefore has nothing to learn 
 of our former civic rank, to annoy him or to 
 induce him to regret our acquaintance. I am 
 not aware how long he will remain, but I shall 
 endeavour to prevail on him to return with 
 us to Bath in about a week. Be yourselves 
 now, quite natural and quite at ease, and let 
 us take care to profit well from his conversa- 
 tion and hints, for our future arrangements and 
 residence at Bath." So the luncheon-bell was 
 rung, and the party assembled in the dining- 
 room .
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 75 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 •Ye thus hospitably live, 
 
 And strangers with good cheer receive. 
 
 DRYDEN. 
 
 Captain Sentry, my master's nephew, has taken posses- 
 sion of the Hall House, and the whole estate. 
 
 Amongst the few friends of the Clappertons 
 who had the right of e^itree^ and with it '* the 
 run of the house," was Captain Macfarlane. 
 Having fought three duels for love affairs, 
 in one of which he was wounded in his right 
 hand, yet without any profit to himself from 
 either, he was regarded at Clapham Hall 
 as the " pink of honour ;" and although he 
 had too small an income either to give parties 
 or to receive visitors, his " captainship" was 
 a fortune for him with the Clappertons, and
 
 76 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 the wonders of his '' foreign travel" greatly 
 amused Miss Charlotte and Miss Sophia. Cap- 
 tain Macfarlane was a man bordering on for- 
 ty-five, of rather small dimensions, with little 
 black eyes, hair somewhat inclined to be rather 
 redder than auburn ought to be, mustachios 
 adopted in Spain, large whiskers, covering a 
 considerable portion of his weather-beaten 
 cheeks, and uniformly dressed in a blue frock- 
 coat, braided with lace and frogs. Of these 
 coats he had two, one for state and the other 
 for ordinary occasions, such as morning calls 
 and daily life. He had a quick, sharp, some- 
 what unpleasant mode of speaking; but he 
 was almost the only man of the Clapperton 
 acquaintance who knew nothing about the 
 City, and was profoundly attentive to all the 
 little wants and wishes of the inmates of Clap- 
 ham Hall. An illness of a prolonged, but not 
 dangerous nature, had kept him from the Clap- 
 pertons during the three past months; and he 
 had not, therefore, been consulted, as he other- 
 wise would have been, about their proposed 
 arrangements for proceeding to Bath. Not,
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 77 
 
 indeed, that Captain Macfarlane had, or pro- 
 fessed to have, any very large acquaintance 
 in the fashionable world ; but he was a gentle- 
 manly fellow, was acquainted with a few good 
 families, was well known to be a most honour- 
 able man, and was very generally invited as 
 a sort of " make-up-man," on whom all could 
 rely, to avoid sitting down thirteen to table, 
 or to remedy a disappointment occasioned- by 
 the sudden indisposition of some one who 
 ought to have gone on a pic-nic excursion. 
 There were others, indeed, who regarded him 
 as a much more important personage ; and 
 as Captain Macfarlane's card was to be seen 
 almost everywhere, in some circles he was 
 called " Captain Ubiquity." 
 
 *' Captain Macfarlane ! *' said the servant, 
 just as the Clappertons and Lord Swainton 
 had commenced their dejeuner a la fourchette ; 
 and as both the Miss Clappertons rose to re- 
 ceive him with "How do you do. Captain?" 
 laying a special emphasis on the first do ; and 
 as Sir Edward assured him " that he was 
 DELIGHTED to sec him," it was evident at once
 
 78 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 to Lord Swainton that the Captain was a 
 great favourite. The Captain had gone down 
 to spend one of his "long days" at Clapham 
 Hall, which meant, to arrive at luncheon time, 
 and not leave till eleven at night, when the 
 Clappertons invariably sent him home in their 
 carriage, unless, as was sometimes the case, 
 he preferred remaining all night. His in- 
 tentions, on this occasion, were not to return 
 till the following day ; and when this was 
 announced by him to the family, every member 
 declared that they were " quite delighted." 
 
 " My lord, I have the honour to intro- 
 duce to you my friend, Captain Macfarlane. 
 Captain Macfarlane, I have the pleasure to 
 introduce to you Lord Swainton of Swain- 
 ton." 
 
 Each bowed, each smiled, and then every 
 one gained his seat, whilst a convert was placed 
 on the table for the Captain. 
 
 " Well, my dear Captain," said Sir Edward, 
 " why, it seems an age since we saw you here, 
 and almost another since I last called on you. 
 I fear you have had a relapse."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 79 
 
 " Indeed, I have," replied the Captain, " and 
 I have now come to take my leave of you for 
 a few months; for I am about to spend the 
 winter at Brighton." 
 
 " At Brighton ! " exclaimed Miss Sophia ; 
 " why, we are leaving for Bath !" 
 
 " For Bath, Miss Sophia ! Bath, do you 
 say ? Why, how in the world could you get 
 it into your heads to go to Bath? They are 
 only the "Rococos" who go there. Bath 
 was in days of yore, some two score years 
 ago and more, a very decent sort of place; 
 but worn-out old ladies with sad coughs, 
 ruined noblemen with small incomes, clergy- 
 men without livings, old maids who have lived 
 out all their chances, and blacklegs who are 
 contented with small but certain pickings, are 
 almost the only frequenters of Bath now. Oh ! 
 you must come to Brighton." 
 
 "Just like you, Captain, just like you, — 
 full of strong prejudices. Why, I have seen 
 Bath, — just returned from seeing it, and there- 
 fore am an eye-witness against you.'* 
 
 " Oh ! I said nothing against Bath town,
 
 80 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 Bath streets, Bath water, or Bath hotels ; did 
 I, ladies ? but only against Bath society : and 
 though I do not know how long you have 
 been at Bath, Sir Edward, I think I will ven- 
 ture a wager of a cup of coffee with the ladies, 
 that your stay has not been long enough to 
 initiate you into Bath mysteries." 
 
 *' But if my sojourn has been short, that 
 of Lord Swainton's has not been so," said the 
 host ; " and no one can be more eloquent in 
 its praises than his lordship/' 
 
 " All depends upon circumstances. Sir Ed- 
 ward, — all depends upon circumstances," said 
 his lordship. " If your friend has been a great 
 deal at Bath, I have not had the good fortune 
 to meet with him. Society at Bath, like every- 
 where else, is of course various. Single men 
 sometimes have more difficulty than others in 
 their associations with family society ; but for 
 my part, I think the society at Bath for ele- 
 gance, tournure, and genuine fashion, beggars 
 description!" And then, turning to the Cap- 
 tain, he asked him, " Did you visit the Dove- 
 lands, the Weylands, the Pollerstones, Lady
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 81 
 
 Witchie, Lord Brelbanone, and the Marchion- 
 ess of Fairtown ?" 
 
 The Captain confessed that he knew Bath 
 better by report than from actual residence, 
 and that during the month or six weeks he 
 had occasionally spent at that watering-place, 
 he had kept very little private society, and had 
 lived almost wholly in public." 
 
 " Come, come, Captain, you have been rather 
 too severe, then, on poor dear Bath, I think ; 
 but, to cut the matter short, I must tell you I 
 have taken the best house in Milsom Street for 
 the season, and when you shall be tired of 
 Brighton winds and waves, of the Old Steyne 
 and the North Parade, of Blue and BufF, and 
 Kemp Town, then take a trip to our city of 
 ' Rococos ; ' for you know there will always 
 be a bed at your service, as there is at Clapham 
 Hall." 
 
 " Ah, you are always kind," said the Cap- 
 tain, " and I do not tell you that I shall not 
 avail myself of your offer ; but for the pre- 
 sent I require more bracing air than Bath, 
 and, thank God, I have no need of its waters." 
 
 e5
 
 82 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 '' But of a glass of this Sauterne," said Lord 
 Swainton; " the finest Sauterne I ever drank 
 in my life — perfect nectar — beggars descrip- 
 tion ! " 
 
 The Captain accepted the challenge, and 
 on this subject, at least, there were not two 
 opinions. 
 
 As Lord Swainton wished to write letters, 
 announcing to his extensive circle of friends 
 his arrival in town and where he had taken 
 up " head-quarters,"" he had the privilege con- 
 ferred on him of being closeted in the Miss 
 Clappertons' boudoir. He was well supplied 
 by them with papers of varied hues, colours, 
 and scents, with odoriferous waxes, seals for 
 nearly every day in the year, and pens of 
 crows, geese, and swans, steel, silver, and 
 ruby. 
 
 The Clappertons and Captain Macfarlane 
 were now left to their accustomed quiet chit- 
 chat, which the latter began by asking, 
 
 " May I ask you, where in the world you 
 have met Lord Swainton ? how you became 
 acquainted with him ? He seems a very clever
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 83 
 
 and agreeable companion, and his face and 
 conversation are not unfamiliar to me; but I 
 cannot, for the life of me, remember his name 
 in the peerage." 
 
 " It is in Debrett," said Sir Edward, " and 
 the family name was Cramwell." 
 
 " Cramwell, — Cramwell. Oh ! I know now 
 all about it," said the Captain ; " to be sure, 
 — to be sure. This was the Honourable Cap- 
 tain Cramwell, and who succeeded to his cou- 
 sin's title as Baron Swainton of Swainton. Ah, 
 Cramwell used to be a gay fellow, — the gayest 
 of the gay, — more wit than money in former 
 times: what he is now, I know not. His 
 estates are, doubtless, considerable." 
 
 " Immense," said Sir Edward ; " he is evi- 
 dently very rich, and the cleverest man in con- 
 versation I ever met with, — delightful com- 
 panion ! " 
 
 " He is, indeed," said Miss Charlotte. 
 
 " Have you lost your heart, then ? " asked 
 the Captain, railingly ; " though I ought rather 
 to have asked his lordship that question." 
 
 " Always gallant, Captain," said Miss Char-
 
 84 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 lotte; "your illness has not diminished your 
 politeness." 
 
 " Swainton — Swainton," repeated the Cap- 
 tain ; " I should like to see Debrett." 
 
 So Debrett was brought from the library, 
 and the Captain satisfied himself that the title 
 was the same as he had anticipated. 
 
 " I ought to know his eldest son," he con- 
 tinued, " for if I am not greatly mistaken, we 
 were both at Oxford together." 
 
 " Come, Captain, what do you say to a game 
 of billiards ? " 
 
 " With all my heart, Sir Edward ; but I 
 hope the ladies will join us." 
 
 " Oh ! most certainly, Captain," said Miss 
 Charlotte; and to the billiard-room Lord 
 Swainton also very shortly hastened. 
 
 '' I've just been writing a billet'doux to the 
 prettiest woman in the universe," said his lord- 
 ship as he entered the room ; " the very 
 emblem of a rose-bud — with all its odour and 
 all its tints, but without its thorns. A perfect 
 Hebe. I should like you to know her. Sir 
 Edward. With the eye of a gazelle, the step
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 85 
 
 of an antelope, the tongue of an angel, and the 
 lips of a seraph; she's the most perfect crea- 
 ture of a girl I ever saw. Scarcely nineteen. 
 Immensely rich. Does not know the extent of 
 her fortune. She always calls me ' papa;* 
 her father and myself were so intimate ; and I 
 always call her ' my little witch.' Will not 
 enter into all her property until twenty-five 
 years of age, in consequence of some peculiar 
 restrictions in an old marriage settlement. 
 Shocking things, ladies, those marriage settle- 
 ments ! He ! he ! he ! " and then turning to 
 Miss Sophia, he said, " perhaps you would 
 like to hear my scribble to my little witch ? 
 Beggars description ! " 
 
 " Oh dear, yes ! '' said Sophia. 
 
 " We should, indeed, my lord," said Char- 
 lotte ; and his lordship read, 
 
 " Clapham Hall, Surrey ; Tuesday. 
 '* My dear little witch, 
 
 " Perhaps you will think me bewitched 
 when I tell you where I am ; and, indeed, if 
 you knew all, you would not wonder that I
 
 86 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 was so. Bright eyes, generous hearts, noble 
 hospitality, graceful board, fine billiard- table, 
 splendid library, and the very twin bed-room 
 of poor Lady Dorothy's at Swainton. Could 
 imagine myself back in the old hall. Same 
 wainscoting — same panels — same everything. 
 Your poor old ' papa ' is romancing away 
 here with the charming Miss Clappertons, and 
 their fine-hearted brother, Sir Edward, to say 
 nothing of an pld friend of poor Scrope's when 
 he was at college — Captain Macfarlane. I 
 am just about joining the party at a game of 
 pool. I wish my little witch were here to 
 charm some of the balls into the pockets. 
 Remember me to Lady Georgiana, and tell her 
 I have not forgotten the scolding she gave me 
 when I last saw her. Nevertheless I place 
 myself at her feet, and hope not to remain 
 there always; but to be raised by her fairy 
 wand to favour and smiles. My heart em- 
 braces thee, my dear little witch, 
 
 " Your affectionate papa, 
 
 " Swainton." 
 
 " To the Honourable Miss Woodstock, 
 Gower Street, London."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 87 
 
 " Oh, how charming ! " said Sophia. 
 
 " What a delightful letter, my lord ! '' ex- 
 claimed Charlotte. 
 
 " I thought I had the honour of being at 
 college with the Honourable Scrope Cram- 
 well," said the Captain. 
 
 " Oh, yes ! I remembered all about it whilst 
 I was scribbling a line to him in Mademoiselle's 
 boudoir," said his lordship ; " and I know_ it 
 will give him pleasure to hear that you are 
 recovering from illness. Fine fellow, sir, is 
 Scrope ! Best memory of any man I ever saw 
 in my life. I do think he remembers being 
 born. Ha ! ha ! ha ! Beggars description ! 
 At any rate he will describe Lady Dorothy's 
 nurse with so much exactitude, (and she died 
 a month after he was born,) that he must 
 remember distinctly the events of his first 
 thirty days. Yet they say, that children and 
 kittens never see for a month. He ! he ! he ! 
 But Scrope is like the Bristol men, who ' sleep 
 with one eye open.* Ha ! ha ! ha ! and glori- 
 ous eyes he has. They won him the lips, the 
 heart, the eyes, the fortune, of his angel of a 
 wife. Beggars description ! "
 
 88 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 '' Ah ! my old friend Scrope is married 
 then/' said the Captain. 
 
 *' To be sure he is ! and I suppose he is the 
 happiest man on the face of the earth ; the 
 very happiest. I never saw such a happy man. 
 I often say to him, ' Scrope ! you look just 
 like a man I once saw at Lord Ayrton's pet 
 farm, eating bread and fat pork in the pantry." 
 Ha ! ha ! ha ! His very eyes stand out with 
 fatness.'* 
 
 "Ah! has he got stout then?" asked the 
 Captain. 
 
 " Stout !" exclaimed his lordship; " why, 
 Scrope is a larger man than was the late Lord 
 Queenstown. Stout ! imagine two single gen- 
 tlemen rolled into one. Full two. You miorht 
 say three — or even four. There never was 
 but one man as fat as Scrope, and that was 
 Daniel Lambert. Ha ! ha ! ha ! His wife 
 tells him he ought to have a carriage with 
 eight wheels ; and I say yes, and drawn with 
 eight horses. Talking of horses, Captain, did 
 you ever see Lord Snowton's four-in-hand ? 
 The best cattle in the universe. Beggar de-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 89 
 
 scription ! I *d travel on foot from here to 
 the Caspian Sea, all the way, and be drowned 
 on the road into the bargain, to see four such 
 animals. You had a fine pair of chesnuts, Sir 
 Edward, in the chariot this morning. Fond of 
 chesnuts — chesnut horses — roasted chesnuts — 
 a duck and chesnuts — chesnut pudding — ches- 
 nut soup — chesnut trees — marroniers — no- 
 thing like chesnut soup. Did you ever _eat 
 chesnut soup, ladies.?" turning to the Miss 
 Clappertons ; " it beggars description. Lady 
 Murray, of Passy, first taught me how to make 
 it. The finest combination of art and nature 
 in the universe. Sir Charles Stilton, when in- 
 formed of it, travelled from Bath to London 
 to give a special dinner to his Majesty's mi- 
 nisters, in order to introduce chesnut soup to 
 
 their notice. Lord E was delighted with 
 
 it, and pronounced it to be superior to turtle. 
 Poor Sir Charles ! how vexed he was ! He 
 loved chesnut soup with all his heart, but he 
 adored turtle soup with all his soul. Ha i ha! 
 ha ! I remember Sir Charles stopped me in 
 Regent Street, and asked me ' if I had ever
 
 90 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 eaten chesnut soup ? ' — ' No, Sir Charles ; but 
 I have no objection to make the experiment.* 
 xHe ! he ! he ! — ' Then to-day, at seven, at the 
 Square,' said Sir Charles ; and I think I must 
 have eaten a large soup tureen full, or rather 
 a large soup tureen empty. Ha ! ha ! ha ! 
 ' Sir Charles,' said I, * do you know Lord 
 
 E ?'— 'Do I know Lord E ? Yes, 
 
 I think I do, indeed. Lord E ! — Lord 
 
 E ! — why, he 's a good man — as good a 
 
 man as ever brake bread — and he takes his 
 wine freely, freely. But he likes chesnut soup 
 better than turtle.' Poor Sir Charles, he could 
 
 scarcely forgive this, even in Lord E . 
 
 Sir Charles's coat of arms ought to have been 
 three turtles, quartered with bucks' heads ; for 
 turtle and venison were the elements of his 
 being. Ha ! ha ! ha ! He ! he ! he ! — No- 
 thing like Jamaica for turtles ! When I was 
 in Jamaica, ladies, I lived upon turtle 365 
 days every year. Turtle roasted and turtle 
 boiled, turtle hashed and turtle stewed, turtle 
 steaks and turtle chops, turtle pies and turtle 
 patties. I had a turtle shell arranged like a
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 91 
 
 little bulrush boat for my poor Scrope. Lady 
 Dorothy had a turtle head-shell stuffed for a 
 pincushion. My girls had turtle fins filled 
 with emery for their needles. It beggared 
 description to see how we turtled it — and I 
 used to call my two youngest girls ' two turtle- 
 doves/ Ha! ha! ha! He! he! he! he! 
 Beggared description ! " 
 
 After an hour or two at " pool," at which 
 his lordship evinced no great talent, and lost a 
 few shillings to the ladies with " great plea- 
 sure," he challenged Sir Edward to a game 
 at billiards, playing the French game, if 
 equally agreeable to his host. 
 
 " Quite immaterial," said Sir Edward. " I 
 am afraid though, as I know my own table, it 
 will be hardly fair to risk much upon our 
 game." 
 
 '* Double or quits," said his lordship. " You 
 understand me, Sir Edward ? I '11 draw a 
 cheque for 10/. on Coutts's, or one on Aldgate 
 pump." 
 
 " With all my heart," said Sir Edward ; and 
 the game was played. Lord Swain ton was a
 
 92 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 first-rate player. Sir Edward had really no 
 chance with him, but his lordship so managed 
 his play as only just to win the game and 
 obviate the necessity for his drawing a cheque 
 upon Coutts's. 
 
 " So I must give you a cheque upon Aid- 
 gate pump, Sir Edward, must I ? Ha ! ha ! 
 ha ! Beggars description ! " 
 
 " Or my revenge, my lord." 
 
 '' Oh with all my heart. Double or quits 
 still." 
 
 Sir Edward played admirably ; but Lord 
 Swainton better. Still for sometime the game 
 was neck and neck. His lordship talked no 
 longer. His nervous shake of the head in- 
 creased prodigiously, and his anxiety might 
 truly be said to beggar description. 
 
 " You have beaten me, my lord," said 
 Sir Edward, as he advanced to his lordship 
 and placed ten sovereigns in his hand ; " but as 
 the first game was only by two, and the second 
 only by one point, will you play one more 
 game, before I take you to see my stables?" 
 
 " Oh, with all my heart,'* replied his lord-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 93 
 
 ship ; " fifteen pounds and fifteen will make 
 thirty. If I win 1 'll purchase some pretty 
 trinket or other for my little witch, and send 
 it to her on her birthday, next Friday ; and 
 if not, why I suppose I must do the same 
 thing ; but with my own money, instead of 
 yours. Sir Edward. He ! he ! he ! as I stood 
 godfather to her I must not forget her, dear 
 child;' 
 
 Lord Swainton felt somewhat nervous, lest 
 his adversary should have done, as he had, in 
 concealing his strength ; but to his great de- 
 light, he soon discovered that this was not 
 the case ; and as he added fifteen more sove- 
 reigns to his astonished and delighted purse 
 he muttered to himself, "Admirable people, 
 these city people! — feast you like princes, and 
 pay you besides." 
 
 The horses were splendid, the stables were 
 admirable, the court-yard was worthy of olden 
 days, the garden was the best managed gar- 
 den ever seen in winter ; the hothouse was 
 equal to any thing he had ever beheld in this 
 country, but not to the orangery at Versailles
 
 94 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 where he had beheld ten thousand orange 
 trees in full bearing at the same moment ; nor 
 yet to the gardens at Potsdam, where the 
 King of Prussia gave away pine-apples by 
 the sack, since they grew like caterpillars ; and 
 in one word, Lord Swainton so extolled Clap- 
 ham Hail, that Sir Edward declared, " he 
 had always thought it a decent sort of a place, 
 but after what his lordship had been good 
 enough to say, he felt really quite in love 
 with it." 
 
 •' Surprising place that Bolkham is," said 
 his lordship ; " few men so extraordinary 
 as its venerable possessor. A father at 85, 
 and grandfather at 104. I was there once 
 with Prince Esterhazy at sheep-shearing time. 
 About a million sheep — perhaps two million 
 — never saw so many sheep in all my life be- 
 fore, nor since. The whole country for miles 
 round looked like one vast leg of mutton. Lord 
 Bolkham said to Prince Esterhazy, 'Well, 
 prince, what do you think of this.? Have 
 you ever seen so many sheep collected before ? ' 
 ' Never,' replied the prince, * but I have seen
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 95 
 
 as many shepherds.' If Lord Bolkham had 
 dared, he would have ordered the Prince's car- 
 riage. Sad disappointment ! ah ! ah ! ah ! After 
 all done and said, though, the sheep were very 
 fine — very fine indeed ! — Beggared description." 
 
 The dinner was splendid. Birch transmitted 
 his white soup, Angell his venison pasty, and 
 at seven o'clock it was announced, by a newly- 
 imported, true West End footman, that, 
 
 " Sir Edward is served." 
 
 Madeira, hock, champagne, sauterne, port, 
 sherry, and clarets of three growths, all equally 
 good, graced the groaning and the festive 
 board ; and it was nearly nine before even the 
 ladies withdrew. 
 
 " The ladies !" said Lord Swainton, as soon as 
 seats were regained, and fresh glasses and cool 
 win'b had been placed on the table, " the ladies ! 
 Sir Edward ; our guardian angels when young, 
 our companions in advanced years, our trea- 
 sures in poverty, our jewels in wealth, our god- 
 desses always. Hip, hip, hip ! ha ! ha ! ha ! " 
 
 " With all my heart, my lord," exclaimed 
 Sir Edward.
 
 96 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " Ditto to the last speaker," chuckled the 
 Captain. And all three smacked their lips, and 
 praised the " bee's wing." 
 
 " You ought to be in parliament, Sir Ed- 
 ward," said Lord Swainton ; " men of your 
 fortune, talents, and rank, ought to be there. 
 My friend. Sir Oscar Morbleu, one of the sit- 
 ting members for Warnstable, is tired of par- 
 liamentary life, and is on the look-out for a 
 successor. The seat cost him 5000/. ; would 
 take three ; 3000/. more would do the rest ; 
 and a true Church and King man, a Conserva- 
 tive of the right sort might be sure of his 
 seat ; and that within six weeks from the pre- 
 sent time. What say you, Sir Edward?" 
 
 " That I should like it of all things ; but 
 the only thing I fear is a change of adminis- 
 tration." 
 
 " Not the least chance ; not a possibility," 
 replied his lordship, who was in an ecstasy on 
 perceiving that the bait had been swallowed. 
 " Suppose there should be a blow-up in France, 
 and the Whigs and Radicals availing them- 
 selves of the excitement it would create, should
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 97 
 
 press on some measure of reform, what would 
 it amount to ? Some half-and-half measure, to 
 gull the people and silence popular clamour. 
 Never fear, Sir Edward ; the Whigs have as 
 many rotten boroughs as the Tories, and can 
 less afford than they can to disfranchise their 
 own constituents and lose their own property. 
 What say you, Captain ? '* 
 
 " Upon my word, my lord, I hardly know 
 what to say. I cannot place any reliance upon 
 the Whigs. If once in power, they will not 
 be easily driven from it ; and to secure their 
 places, they may go much greater lengths than 
 we now can anticipate. Still, if Sir Edward 
 has an eye to parliament, a seat in Warn stable 
 for 6000/. is no bad spec. If I had 6000/. 
 to spare I would accept it to-morrow." 
 
 " The fact is," said Sir Edward, " I know 
 very little of these matters myself, but as far 
 as 6000/. are concerned, I would willingly give 
 that sum to be assured of my seat." 
 
 " Oh, never fear, never fear ; if you '11 spend 
 your 6000/. I'll manage the trick for you. 
 The first day of the session my friend Sir 
 
 VOL. I. F
 
 98 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 Oscar Morbleu will accept the Chiltern Hun- 
 dreds, and a new writ will be moved for. Four 
 or five days before the commencement of the 
 session I will accompany you to Sir Oscar's. 
 His seat is not seven miles from the bo- 
 rough. On depositing his nomination to the 
 Chiltern Hundreds in our hands, and a re- 
 quest to Sir James to move for a new writ, 
 
 he shall receive 3000/. The other 3000/. will 
 be expended, if necessary, in the usual manner. 
 The managers of the borough will accept 
 3000/. this time, on condition of having a 
 second election so soon. Thus, for 6000/. you 
 will make one seat in the borough your own ; 
 and with a little good management you may 
 represent for life, or till raised to the peerage, 
 the good town of Warnstable. Come, captain, 
 let us say. Sir Edward Clapperton, member of 
 parliament for the borough of Warnstable." 
 " Hip, hip, hip, hurrah ! hurrah ! " 
 Sir Edward smiled ; Sir Edward blushed ; 
 Sir Edward attempted a speech, by no means 
 a bad one, and proposed —
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 99 
 
 " My noble mover, and my gallant seconder, 
 Lord Swain ton and Captain Macfarlane ! " 
 
 " Bravo ! bravo !" cried the toasted guests, 
 and the wine was poured down in copious liba- 
 tions, until the ladies summoned the gentlemen 
 to the drawing-room. 
 
 " I have the honour to present to you, 
 ladies," said his lordship as he entered the 
 room, " Sir Edward Clapperton, M.P. for the 
 borough of Warnstable ! " 
 
 " Ha, ha, ha ! that is a good joke," said 
 Sophia. 
 
 " Oh, really, my lord, you 11 make us die 
 with laughter," said Charlotte. 
 
 " It 's no laughing matter, though," said the 
 captain, looking most gravely. " Your bro- 
 ther is not, but he will be, member for Warn- 
 stable in less than six weeks from this time." 
 
 " Oh, that will be delightful ! won't it, 
 Charlotte?" 
 
 « Yes, I think so indeed, dear Sophia. Only 
 mind, Mr. Edward, don't you behave as shab- 
 bily about franks as Alderman Tin does to his 
 
 v2
 
 100 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 girls. They say, they are always obliged to 
 apply to other members rather than to their 
 pa' to frank their covers." 
 
 " Always the case, ladies ; always the case ; 
 shoemakers' children are the worst shod ; but, 
 if franks are of any use to you, pray make as 
 much use of me as you like. My pen and my 
 name are alike at your service, 
 
 and do, as is my du-ty, 
 
 Bow to the shadow of your shoe-tie. 
 
 Ha ! ha ! ha ! He ! he ! he ! Beggars de- 
 scription." 
 
 Franking letters — sipping black coffee — 
 drinking gunpowder, and tasting liqueurs from 
 Corcellet's at Paris — with a quiet round game, 
 many jokes, and some riddles and rebuses, 
 were the occupations of the merry party, till 
 the splendid musical clock chimed the quarters 
 and the hour of midnight. 
 
 The ladies withdrew. The Captain soon 
 followed ; and Lord Swainton and Sir Edward 
 were left alone. 
 
 " I hope I can rely on the discretion of tlie
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 101 
 
 Captain,'' said Lord Swainton. " If he has 
 not changed his character, of late years, he 
 is at once the bravest and the least considerate 
 of men ; and if but one whisper was heard, 
 in private or public, respecting the borough 
 of Warnstable and my friend Sir Oscar's in- 
 tentions, he would have his seat besieged with 
 applicants, and contesting candidates would 
 destroy all our plans. Silence is the word. 
 Sir Edward, — the silence of death. A breath 
 would defeat us." 
 
 " I will take care of that," said Sir Edward. 
 " I know the Captain well. He values my 
 friendship as I do his ; and if I request secresy 
 I may rely on it." 
 
 "Good,— good; and good night, too," re- 
 plied his lordship; and Morpheus soon took 
 to his embraces the host, hostesses, and guests 
 of Clapham Hall.
 
 102 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Who says he was not 
 
 A man of much plot, 
 May repent that false accusation ; 
 
 Having plotted and penn'd 
 
 Six plays to attend 
 The farce of his negotiation. Denham. 
 
 The tide has certainly set in, in my favour, 
 thought Lord Swainton, as he arranged his 
 toilette the next morning. " Here are thirty 
 good sovereigns in my purse ; my journey to 
 London paid ; I owe nothing to mine host ; 
 and it 's hard if I cannot clear a thousand 
 pounds out of this Warnstable election. By 
 the bye, it is now six weeks since I met Sir 
 Oscar Morbleu at Bath ; it is high time I 
 should write to him. He may have altered 
 his mind or augmented his price. This young 
 man Clapperton is evidently delighted at the 
 idea: I must ensure his friendship, and con-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 103 
 
 firm, by my stay, the good impressions I have 
 made on him. These citizen folks have a 
 great fondness for those who will " put their 
 legs under their mahogany ;" and nothing 
 suits me better just now than this sort of 
 thing. But above all things this affair of 
 Warnstable must be managed. If Sir Oscar 
 has altered his mind, there 's old Norton, the 
 member for Bowen, and Craven, who sits 
 for Tougherton, and several others, no doubt, 
 to be heard of, who wish to get out of parlia- 
 ment ; though I should prefer, greatly prefer, 
 Sir Oscar. He understands commission, per- 
 centage, and all that sort of thing ; and can 
 slip a five hundred pound note into one's 
 hands in a very gentlemanly manner. I must 
 write to him at once ; and such a letter as I 
 can show to Clapperton."" So his lordship 
 rang for paper and its accompaniments, and 
 dashed off the following letter to Sir Oscar 
 Morbleu : — 
 
 *' Will my dear Sir Oscar allow me to 
 ask, if he is still disposed to accept the Chil-
 
 104- THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 tern Hundreds, and on the same conditions ? 
 If so, I have an able, honest, staunch Conserva- 
 tive, of great talents, honourable family, and 
 long purse, who aspires to a seat in St. Stephen's. 
 An interview at Bath, or at the Rookery, — as 
 most convenient, is suggested. A letter by re- 
 turn of post to Long's will be sure to find me. 
 " His very truly, 
 
 " SWAINTON." 
 
 ''Excellent, — excellent," — said Sir Edward, 
 as he read this communication placed in his 
 hand in the breakfast parlour just before the 
 commencement of a morning dejeuner a VAn- 
 glaise : " this is just the very thing. In four 
 days your lordship can receive an answer, and 
 we can then decide as to the time of our 
 departure, either for Bath or the Rookery of 
 Sir Oscar. Till then, I beg your lordship 
 will consider yourself our guest. We have 
 ample room for any of your lordship's friends 
 whom you may feel disposed to invite to our 
 plain and humble hospitality ; and though we 
 have not the splendour or luxuries of Swain-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 105 
 
 ton Hall to oiFer them, we have some tolerable 
 wines, French beds, and a decent billiard- 
 table." 
 
 His lordship assured Sir Edward that he 
 could not think of thus abusing his truly gen- 
 tlemanlike hospitality, but that as he must 
 go to London that day to consult his bankers 
 on the subject of an investment of monies, 
 which he was about to receive from the Court 
 of Chancery, he should be happy to introduce 
 to them Sir Felix Montague, the wittiest man 
 in his Majesty's dominions, and as handsome 
 as he was witty. And then turning to the 
 Miss Clappertons, he said ^^ prenez garde! 
 prenez garde, my friend Felix is a gallant gay 
 Lothario, though for honour and virtue a per- 
 fect model." 
 
 " Now this is very kind of you, indeed," 
 said Sir Edward ; " and mind you tell your 
 friend that I have either horses at his service, 
 or stables for the use of his stud. It is of 
 course understood he will accept a bed." 
 
 " Oh yes ! oh yes ! if I can persuade him 
 to come," said his lordship ; " but these winter 
 
 F 5
 
 106 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 nights men like he who sleep in clover, will 
 not even turn out for velvet sometimes. Ha ! 
 ha ! ha ! He ! he ! he ! Beggars description !" 
 
 " I don't know what to make of your new 
 friend/' said Captain Macfarlane to Sir Ed- 
 ward Clapperton, after the departure of his 
 lordship for London. 
 
 " But I do," replied Sir Edward ; " and, 
 present company always excepted, he 's about 
 the most gentlemanly man I have met with, 
 for many a summer day. Besides which, he is 
 invaluable to myself and my sisters ; and if 
 he gets me into parliament for Warnstable, I 
 shall never be able to repay him, so great 
 will be my obligations." 
 
 " Oh, he is charming!" said Sophia. 
 
 " Quite delightful !" said Charlotte. 
 
 And as Captain Macfarlane feared his pru- 
 dence, caution, and doubts, might be misin- 
 terpreted for jealousy, unkindness, or some 
 other equally unamiable characteristic, he re- 
 solved to join in the general note of appro- 
 bation, and said, 
 
 " OI15 his lordship is an admirable com-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 107 
 
 panion, certainly, and tells as good a story 
 as any man I ever heard in my life." 
 
 " Indeed he does," said Sir Edward ; " my 
 journey from Bath I shall never forget. But 
 I wonder who is his friend Sir Felix Mon- 
 tague ? Do you know, Captain ?" 
 
 " Oh, he 's a man that 's well known in 
 the club-houses; — plays well, eats well, drinks 
 well ; is a great friend of Colonel Sabrope, and 
 bets largely, or used to do so, at Newmarket. 
 The Honourable Mr. Binghorn and himself 
 have been at Copenhagen, Madrid, Munich, 
 and other places together ; and I have heard 
 that at Baden-Baden he has won some money. 
 He is a first-rate billiard player, and would, 
 I think, be a good match for Lord Swainton, 
 for his lordship knows how to handle the cue 
 most certainly." 
 
 " Yes, he 's a thorough man of the world," 
 said Sir Edward ; " loves play, women's so- 
 ciety, the theatre, amusements, and yet, I sus- 
 pect, is a profound politician.** 
 
 " I doubt his profundity," replied the Cap- 
 tain ; " but I have no doubt as to his being
 
 108 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 an admirable tactician ; and few men, I should 
 say, understood better how to manage a con- 
 tested election. But I must be going, I have 
 an appointment at two at St. James's." 
 
 " Adieu, my dear Captain," said Sir Ed- 
 ward; " take care of yourself." 
 
 " And take care of your self f^'' replied the 
 Captain, rather significantly. 
 
 " Oh, trust me, I will take care," said Sir 
 Edward, thinking that his friend made some 
 allusion to the large expenses attendant on 
 borough elections ; " weasels are not caught 
 asleep." 
 
 " Ladies, adieu ! " said the Captain ; and the 
 ladies expressed their hopes that they should 
 soon see him at Bath. 
 
 Notwithstanding this favourable congt, the 
 Clappertons were not, however, well pleased 
 with the Captain. They thought he had ex- 
 hibited a little jealousy; that Lord Swainton 
 had beaten him out of the field respecting 
 Bath ; and that the manner he had spoken of 
 Sir Felix Montague was neither kind nor gen- 
 tlemanly.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 109 
 
 Sir Edward confessed that he had a similar 
 feeling to that of his sisters. " But then," he 
 said, " poor Macfarlane has been ill, was out 
 of sorts, was taken by surprise to find his 
 lordship here, came down for a quiet chit- 
 chat with us, and was by no means accoutred 
 as he would have been, if he had known the 
 sort of society he would have met with. No, 
 no, Macfarlane is a good fellow, and as long 
 as I have a bottle of port he shall have half 
 of it." 
 
 The afternoon soon fled — the family plate 
 was brought out, the oldest and finest wines 
 raised from their long-encrusted beds ; and 
 the preparations for Lord Swainton and Sir 
 Felix Montague were on the first and best 
 scale. 
 
 " Miss Clappertons and Sir Edward, I 
 have the honour to present to you my kind, 
 true, and admirable friend. Sir Felix Mon- 
 tague," said Lord Swainton ; " a Pindar for 
 wit, without his coarseness; a Brummell for 
 the heau monde, without his conceit ; and a 
 Burke for eloquence, without his severity."
 
 110 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 And then turning round to Sir Felix Mon- 
 tague, he said, " My dear Montague, these 
 are the Miss Clappertons, and this is Sir Ed- 
 ward ; I explained to them my desire to make 
 you mutually acquainted ; at the same time I 
 feel I owe you all my best apologies for this 
 abrupt introduction." 
 
 *' Ladies," said Sir Felix, " my kind friend 
 Lord Swainton no sooner noted to me your 
 good pleasure, than I hastened to throw myself 
 at your feet ; and your brother knows how we 
 men knock about in this world of ours, when- 
 ever beauty, wit, and benevolence command 
 us;' 
 
 " Well said, well said ! " exclaimed his lord- 
 ship. " And now let me tell you, ladies, a 
 little story. I had scarcely left Clapham to- 
 day, and arrived in the little village rejoicing 
 in the name of London, than I met my poor 
 boy Scrope. I never saw such surprise de- 
 picted in any one's countenance in my life. 
 He thought me at Bath, as I thought him in 
 Wiltshire. He wept with joy to see me. I 
 always call him my boy, though nearly thirty
 
 THE TORY BARONET. Ill 
 
 summers have passed over his head. But what 
 do you think I have done ?" 
 
 " Not shot him, I hope," said Sir Felix. 
 
 " No, nor scolded him, I hope,'' said Miss 
 Charlotte. 
 
 " But invited him, I trust, to join our family 
 dinner-table," said Sir Edward, with genuine 
 politeness of feeling. 
 
 " I have even been such a monster," ex- 
 claimed his lordship; and retreating to the 
 door, called — " Scrope, come and speak for 
 yourself." 
 
 And Scrope entered. 
 
 " The Honourable Scrope Cramwell," said 
 his father, " Sir Edward and ladies ; my son, as 
 the saying is, — the very image of me when he 
 was young; never such a resemblance in the 
 world before. Beggared description ! But, 
 since he has got so fat, I have nothing to say 
 to him." 
 
 " I have really to apologise, Sir Edward, for 
 this extraordinary intrusion, but my father is 
 fond of these — " 
 
 " Very agreeable surprises," said Sir Ed-
 
 112 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 ward ; and the dinner was soon after an- 
 nounced. 
 
 Scrope Cramwell — for we will drop the 
 Honourable, for the sake of brevity, and call 
 him Scrope, — was a fine-hearted fellow at bot- 
 tom ; but as he had had many hard battles to 
 fight, from want of money and means, in his 
 rising in the world, he looked at thirty very 
 near fifty. Still he preserved his natural gaiety, 
 and although he was far from approving his 
 father's mode of life, and very inconsiderate 
 conduct, yet he ever evinced as a son the most 
 sincere affection and unfeigned love. But for 
 an annuity which he granted to Lord Swain- 
 ton, and which was paid him monthly, to his 
 own receipt, to prevent it being mortgaged or 
 anticipated, his lordship would have had no 
 positive or assured means of support ; since 
 estates, legacies, marriage-portions, and every- 
 thing else, had long since been swept away by 
 this lover of dissipation. Scrope had married 
 tolerably well ; not as well as his lordship had 
 reported to the Clappertons, nor anything like 
 it, but he had an income of about 1500/. per
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 113 
 
 annum ; and as he had sown all his wild oats, 
 and a prodigious quantity of them, he was as 
 steady as a Cramwell could be, and eschewed 
 his father's ways. 
 
 " Well, Scrope," said his father as soon as 
 they were seated at table, " I forgot to ask you 
 after your wife ? Charming creature ! affec- 
 tionate daughter ! Best wife I ever heard of, 
 except your poor mother. Lady Dorothy ! " 
 
 " I thank you, my lord, both for her and 
 myself," said Scrope ; " quite well, very happy, 
 and remarkably quiet." 
 
 " Quiet ! quiet !" retorted his lordship ra- 
 ther peevishly. *' Some people seem to think 
 the great end of life is to be quiet. A mole is 
 quiet ; a hedgehog is quiet ; a tortoise is quiet ; 
 the Dead Sea is quiet ; the grave is quiet ; we 
 are not born to be quiet, but to be gay, lively, 
 animated! N'est-ce pas, mademoiselle?" ad- 
 dressing himself to the eldest Miss Clapperton, 
 who sat next him. 
 
 " Oh certainly, my lord, 1 am very fond of 
 life; but then we must be quiet sometimes." 
 
 " Never!" said his lordship. " Never, ma-
 
 114 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 demoiselle ; that 's a dangerous habit, to be 
 quiet ; it grows upon one. Nature is never 
 quiet, always at work, always occupied : snow 
 falling, rain descending, cataracts leaping, ri- 
 vers flowing, seas roaring, wind blowing, trees 
 shooting, clouds moving, sun, moon, and stars 
 shining; lightning darting, thunder rolling, 
 earthquakes swallowing, volcanoes burning ! 
 and why should man be the only quiet thing 
 in the universe ? No, no, no ! it 's a bad thing 
 to be quiet. To be quiet is to be sleepy ; to be 
 sleepy is to be apoplectic ; to be apoplectic is 
 to die ; and to die is to be quiet indeed. But 
 I suspect even your wife, Scrope, is not so fond 
 of quietness as to desire that ? " 
 
 " Always the same, my lord ; always full of 
 wit and humour. I have travelled many a 
 mile on foot and horse, but never met your 
 equal." 
 
 " And is your father always so full of life 
 and anecdote ? " asked the younger Miss Clap- 
 perton of Scrope. 
 
 " Oh, always, always." And then, in an 
 under tone — " He is the most extraordinary
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 115 
 
 man I ever heard of. At his time of life he 
 wiU beat me hollow in walking, running, bowl- 
 ing, cricketing, fishing, shooting, hunting, sing- 
 ing, galloping, eating, drinking, and in fact in 
 everything." 
 
 " In spending the bank-notes, you might 
 have added," whispered Sir Felix Montague 
 to his friend Scrope, who sat on his other 
 side. 
 
 *' And in bouncing," replied Scrope, in a 
 very low whisper. 
 
 " Scrope, Scrope," said his father, "taking 
 away my character ? No whispering. Ladies, 
 you must call these rogues to order, or they 
 will whisper away my character." 
 
 " That would be difficult," muttered Mon- 
 tague in the ear of his friend, and Scrope 
 smiled significantly. 
 
 " Sir Edward ! will wine be agreeable ? " 
 asked his lordship ; and Sir Edward was " most 
 happy.'' 
 
 " What do you think of this madeira, my 
 lord?" inquired Sir Edward, with the air of 
 one who knew what must be the reply.
 
 116 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " I will tell you, Sir Edward— 
 
 * Drink, drink ; there 's a spell in its every drop 
 'Gainst the ills of mortality ! 
 Talk of the cordial that sparkles for Helen ; 
 Her cup was a fiction, but this is reality.' 
 
 Beggars description !" 
 
 " Better wine than even Sir Oscar's, my 
 lord,*" remarked Montague, " who, by the bye, 
 is about resigning his seat, if he cannot find a 
 purchaser." 
 
 " Indeed," observed Lord Swainton, with as 
 much nonchalance as if the subject had been a 
 matter of total indifference to him, and not as 
 if he had held a long conversation with Mon- 
 tague, on his way down to Clapham Hall, on 
 the best means of bringing this subject again 
 on the " tapis," and securing young Clapper- 
 ton as a candidate ; " I have heard something 
 of this before. Oh, yes ! Morbleu has an ad- 
 mirable cellar, and it is well stocked besides ; 
 but, who told you about his seat ? " 
 
 " I forget now whether it was young Lord 
 Dalrymple or Colonel Palmer ; but they both 
 were of opinion, that if he resigned his seat
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 117 
 
 without making some prior arrangement with 
 a new candidate, and securing him the influ- 
 ence of his party and the votes of his electors, 
 there would be many candidates in the field, 
 and large sums would be expended by political 
 rivals." 
 
 Lord Swainton looked with affected earnest- 
 ness at Sir Edward, nodded his head most 
 significantly, and simply said, '' All right." 
 
 " What 's « all right,' " asked Scrope, with 
 genuine curiosity. " Some plot, my lord, with 
 Sir Edward?" 
 
 " Nothing at all, Scrope. Little pitchers 
 have great ears ; and listeners sometimes hear 
 no good of themselves. Ha ! ha ! ha ! Beg- 
 gars description ! " 
 
 " It 's a fine old borough to represent," said 
 Montague, who was invited to Clapham Hall 
 by his lordship, to aid him in this most im- 
 portant negotiation, " those rascally Whigs 
 will move heaven and earth to get it into their 
 clutches, if Sir Oscar should take it into his head 
 one of these days to throw up his seat in a fit 
 of ennui, and leave the combatants to fight it
 
 118 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 out; and he is just the sort of man to doit. 
 Oh, what a scramble there would be for that 
 seat ! It is one of the oldest borou^jhs in the 
 kingdom, and bribery and treating are really 
 sanctioned by usage and immemorial custom. 
 I should not wonder if ' young Ward,' who is 
 anxious to get a seat, should become a candi- 
 date — and money is no object to him. He 
 could throw away bank-notes like dirt." 
 
 Sir Edward listened with breathless atten- 
 tion to every word uttered by Sir Felix, and 
 watched the countenance of his lordship. His 
 lordship knew this well — and adapted his face 
 accordingly. 
 
 " We shall see what we shall see," said his 
 lordship, shaking his head yet more signifi- 
 cantly at Sir Edward than before, and at the 
 same time holding his green glass for hock. 
 
 '* Will hock be agreeable, Sir Edward?" 
 
 " Any wine you prefer is agreeable, my 
 lord," replied the anxious candidate, who 
 looked upon Lord Swainton as the heau ideal 
 of a negociator — and the very king of diplo- 
 matists.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 119 
 
 Lord Swainton now perceived that enough 
 had been said by Montague, and gave the 
 agreed on signal for silence, by asking Sir 
 Felix to take wine with him. 
 
 The conversation was then changed to the 
 miscellaneous chit-chat of a very pleasant din- 
 ner, and the ladies retired, the gentlemen 
 talked about politics and turf news, horses and 
 dogs, farming and actresses, the opera and 
 Newmarket, as usual ; and then coffee was 
 announced, and the ladies were rejoined. 
 
 " Let us have two minutes' chat together," 
 said Lord Swainton, as he walked across the 
 hall arm in arm with his host. " I think after 
 what Sir Felix has said about the borough, we 
 must take stronger measures." 
 
 " So do I," said Sir Edward, " and that 
 without delay." 
 
 Lord Swainton was delighted. 
 
 " Now, Sir Edward," said his lordship, in a 
 tone of deep and mysterious solemnity, " I am 
 one of the last men in the world to make many 
 professions, but I confess you have so charmed 
 me by the whole of your conduct, that I am
 
 120 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 quite at your disposal in this Warnstable 
 matter." 
 
 " Indeed, my lord, you are much too good. 
 What steps do you recommend ? " 
 
 " Why, I learnt to-day that Sir Oscar Mor- 
 bleu is really at his seat, and will not leave it 
 for a week to come. Once in London, the game 
 will be up. My plan is to start to-morrow, 
 carriage and four, to the Rookery, take him 
 by surprise, obtain his written resignation, and 
 Jiis demand for the Chiltern Hundreds, then 
 pay into his bankers a sum of money on his 
 account, and the remainder when a new writ 
 shall be moved for, on the first day of the 
 Session. You need not trouble yourself about 
 money matters — I will make the necessary ad- 
 vances, if you prefer it ; it 's precisely the same 
 thing to me, and you can pay to Scrope, or to 
 my bankers, or I can draw upon you for the 
 amount." 
 
 " Really, my lord, I cannbt think of your 
 advancing money for me," said Sir Edward ; 
 " it is infinitely too much to devote your time, 
 health, talents, and energies for one who has
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 121 
 
 no claim on your lordship — but to advance 
 money besides, would be impossible." 
 
 " Oh ! don't be squeamish, Sir Edward ; a 
 few thousand pounds one way or other is no 
 great object to either of us, I hope, and I can 
 draw upon you at sight when 1 need the re- 
 payment." 
 
 " But your lordship niust allow me to place 
 some money on account at your banker's to 
 meet the expenses of the journey, and various 
 other arrangements you may feel necessary to 
 make on my behalf." 
 
 " Oh ! I will not contradict you. Sir Ed- 
 ward, about such a bagatelle as that; but 
 on second thoughts, nothing should be done 
 through bankers. Just give me a cheque for 
 200/. and I will send Scrope for it to-morrow ; 
 so that hereafter nothing may be traced." 
 
 "Better say 500/.," said Sir Edward. 
 
 " No — no — no : what should I do with 
 500/., Sir Edward.? Posting and post-boys, 
 hotels, and a dinner or two, do not require 
 500/. Make it 200/., or 300/., if you will; 
 but 200/., is abundant." 
 
 VOL. I. G
 
 122 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 So Sir Edward wrote a cheque for 300/., 
 payable to himself or bearer, and placed it 
 in the hands of Lord Swain ton, with feelings 
 of unaffected gratitude. 
 
 " I do not know how to thank you enough, 
 my lord," said Sir Edward. 
 
 *' Don't talk about these things. I would 
 travel tens of thousands of miles to keep those 
 rascally Whigs out of Warnstable. Must 
 make sacrifices, you know, Sir Edward, for 
 one's party. We shall have to fight a hard 
 battle shortly, what with the Polignac admi- 
 nistration in France, and the movements of 
 O'Connell in Ireland. England expects every 
 man will do his duty. Ha ! ha ! ha ! He ! 
 he ! he ! Beggars description !" 
 
 "It would be well, my lord, if every one of 
 us did our duty in the same noble style as 
 your lordship." 
 
 " Come, come. Sir Edward, none of your 
 flattery. Let us join the ladies, and sip some 
 of your most excellent coffee." 
 
 " All right," whispered Lord Swainton to 
 Sir Felix, as he passed by his chair to ap-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 123 
 
 proach the Miss Clappertons; and Sir Felix 
 smiled satisfaction. 
 
 " I hope, ladies," said Scrope, " we are to 
 have some music." 
 
 " A perfect Pan is Scrope after music," said 
 his lordship ; " a Jew's-harp, a hurdy-gurdy, 
 a Highland bagpipe, a triangle, musical bells, 
 linnets'* notes, even his own voice, — all delight 
 him. He only wants cloven feet to make him 
 Pan No. 2. Ha! ha! ha! He! he! he! 
 Beggars description !" 
 
 " You might as well have said an Apollo, 
 my lord," replied Scrope; "for many a time 
 in the Highlands, if I have not made the woods 
 leap and the forests dance, I have made the 
 lasses jig." 
 
 The Miss Clappertons played some duets, 
 which Lord Swainton called divine. Scrope 
 sang some Irish melodies most delightfully, 
 in the opinion of the ladies; and Montague 
 made them all laugh most heartily, as well as 
 himself, with 
 
 " Have you ever seen little Lord John 
 At a Bedford town election r* 
 
 G 2
 
 124 THE TORY BARONET, 
 
 and with another, 
 
 " My dearest O'Connell, what think you of Ireland ?" 
 
 " Now for a round game," said Sir Ed- 
 ward ; and Sir Felix was very lucky at Specu- 
 lation. 
 
 It was past one before the drawing-room 
 was forsaken ; and the new west-end servant at 
 Clapham Hall could not understand what Sir 
 Edward meant when he informed him on en- 
 tering his service, that he kept early hours 
 and little company. " Nameporte, as Lord 
 Harry used to say after his French valet, 
 who taught him to speak his nasty language 
 grammatically ,"*' muttered Sir Edward's fash- 
 ionable servant ; " nameporte (iiimporte), it 
 will be all one and the same thing at the end of 
 the year, — but there goes two, and so I must 
 go too, — and that too will be to bed." 
 
 Scrope left by eight in the morning. 
 
 Montague waited for Lord Swainton ; and 
 together they entered Sir Edward's post- 
 chariot for Long's Hotel, from whence the 
 latter was to proceed on that same afternoon
 
 THE TORY BARONET. V25 
 
 to the Rookery of Sir Oscar Morbleu, in order 
 to carry into effect his plans for the borough 
 of Warnstable; and Clapham Hall and its 
 amiable inmates became once more cool, calm, 
 and collected.
 
 126 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 Small black-legg'd sheep devour with hunger keen 
 The meagre herbage, fleshless, lank, and lean ; 
 Such o'er thy level turf, Newmarket, stray. 
 And there, with other blacklegs, find their prey. 
 
 Crabbe. 
 
 " Nice prosy people," said Montague to Lord 
 Swainton, as the carriage drove from the door 
 of Clapham Hall. " These city people always 
 amuse me. To conceal their origin, or seek 
 to make you forget it, they speak of money 
 as we should of millinery, with a nose turned 
 up and a mouth turned down, as if it were 
 the most despicable thing in creation, wholly 
 unworthy of being picked up, and hardly en- 
 titled to the honour of being trodden under 
 their feet. Just now, before starting, your 
 friend Sir Edward called me aside into the 
 billiard-room, and said, * Pray, may I ask your 
 opinion of this billiard-table ? You have tried 
 it this morning, and I saw at once by your
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 127 
 
 manner of handling the cue that you are an 
 excellent judge. I should like to have the best 
 billiard- table in this part of the country— 
 expense is no object.' — '1 think you have 
 already the best, Sir Edward,' I replied, ' and 
 further expense would be useless.' He was 
 quite delighted, and assured me he should be 
 most proud to cultivate my acquaintance. And 
 now, my good Lord, as we have begun_ to- 
 gether, let us go on together. Clapperton must 
 have his seat, and we must feather our nests." 
 
 " That''s precisely how I understand it,'' 
 said Lord Swainton. " Head-quarters at 
 Long's, to secure his election, and for the 
 despatch of out-voters in case of a contest. 
 You must make yoiir head-quarters there. 
 Two sitting-rooms and a bed-room — a good 
 table, and civil Dempster to wait on you. We 
 will make these arrangements sur le champ ; 
 and as Clapperton gave me carte blanche and 
 a cheque for 300/., that will do for starting. 
 Warnstable will cost him more than 6000/. 
 unless I can succeed better than I expect wit^ 
 Morbleu. But whether six or ten, the seat 
 must be secured, and the rest leave to me."
 
 128 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " Oh, once get him in," replied Montague, 
 " his delight would know no bounds, and he 
 would be ours for life."" 
 
 " Yes, for life," said Lord Swainton with 
 much energy and satisfaction ; and his little 
 eyes became radiant with anticipation. 
 
 " This travelling-carriage he has also placed 
 at my disposal till the election is over, and 
 as long afterwards as I may require it ; for he 
 added, ' he could not think of allowing my 
 wheels to be worn out in his service.' ' My 
 wheels,' I could scarcely refrain from exclaim- 
 ing, ' have taken to their heels long ago/ 
 Ha ! ha ! ha ! He ! he ! he ! Beggars de- 
 scription !" 
 
 " We had better proceed first to the bank- 
 er's," said Montague, " and get the cheque 
 changed. Three hundred pounds are three 
 hundred pounds in such piping times of peace 
 as these, with the season before us and scarcely 
 a stiver in one's purse. Never throw a chance 
 away."" 
 
 " To the Horse Guards," said Lord Swain- 
 ton to Sir Edward's coachman, who was sent
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 129 
 
 up with the best bays to drive his lordship 
 about everywhere, procure post-horses for the 
 afternoon, and start the post-carriage and his 
 lordship from Long's for the Rookery of Sir 
 Oscar. 
 
 " I will not drive to Drummond's, Mont- 
 ague, for Clapperton's servant may know his 
 master's bankers, and report that our first visit 
 was made there ; but will step thither whilst 
 
 you call on Lord H , or leave your card ; 
 
 after that, to Downing Street, where I will 
 leave a P. P.O. for our Home Secretary, which 
 I will explain hereafter, and secure his favour 
 if I add a new vote to his phalanx at the open- 
 ing of the next campaign, which promises to 
 be a hot one." 
 
 " You are certainly the prince of tacticians, 
 Swainton. It 's a lamentable thing a man of 
 your talent and address should not have mil- 
 lions at your disposal." 
 
 " Never fear, — never fear, Montague," re- 
 plied his lordship. " What say you to more 
 moderate wishes, in the shape of brother-in- 
 law to Sir Edward.?"
 
 loO THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " I 've no idea of his fortune, or of those of 
 his sisters," said Montague; "and it's much 
 more difficult to learn those things of City 
 people than it is of our own class in society. 
 They have no antecedents, no hereditary bai- 
 liffs, or family solicitors, or land-stewards, to 
 make one's friends ; — and most of their money 
 is in the funds." 
 
 " But if they have no antecedents, they have 
 no mortgages ; if they have no hereditary 
 bailiffs, they have no bum-bailiffs either; no 
 Fi-fa's to look after, or insolent and running 
 usurers to oppress them," retorted his lord- 
 ship : " so take you the younger, and I the 
 elder Miss Clapperton, and put up with 3000/. 
 a-year. Beggars description ! " 
 " Agreed to," said Montague. 
 " It 's a bargain," said Lord Swainton, as 
 the carriage drove up to the Horse Guards. 
 
 His lordship proceeded to Drummonds", the 
 cheque was duly cashed, the 300/. found their 
 way into the oubliettes of Lord Swainton's 
 small-clothes, — those pockets which resembled 
 whirlpools, into which, whatever once entered, 
 was gone for ever !
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 131 
 
 *' All right," said his lordship, as he entered 
 the carriage again. " The clerk asked me my 
 name, and I said Clapperton." 
 
 " Why so?" asked Montague. 
 
 " Because, in the event of an election com- 
 mittee to unseat Sir Edward for bribery, I 
 should thus avoid money being traced to me." 
 
 " But what will you do with the notes ? 
 You may be traced through them." 
 
 " I have thought of that," said his lordship, 
 " and have taken 100 sovereigns in gold ; the 
 notes I shall change at the Bank of England 
 for gold too. I shall adopt this plan with 
 reference to all the monies which may pass 
 through my hands for this Warnstable elec- 
 tion ; so that come what may, I may be 
 secure. Ha ! ha ! ha ! But Sir Edward must 
 have his seat for from 6000/. to 10,000/. ; and 
 as to the rest, — never catch a weasel asleep ! 
 Ha ! ha ! ha ! Beggars description !" 
 
 The Duke's, Sir Robert's, Lord M—'s and 
 Sir Henry H — 's were all called at in their 
 turns, not that either Lord Swainton or Mon- 
 tague could really boast of their acquaintance, 
 but that an impression had to be made on
 
 132 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 the mind of the coachman, who would be 
 sure to report his proceedings to Miss Clap- 
 pertons' lady's-maid or Sir Edward's valet. 
 House after house, and hotel after hotel, 
 were purposely knocked at, in vain. Card 
 upon card was left with servants, who an- 
 nounced that their owners had not yet arrived 
 in town. And at length the carriage stopped 
 at Long's hotel. 
 
 The faithful Dempster, the best waiter in 
 Christendom, made his appearance : rooms were 
 ordered, a dejeuner a lafourchette, as substantial 
 as a dinner, was prepared, and nothing was 
 wanted but a travelling servant to accompany 
 his lordship post, to the seat of Sir Oscar 
 Morbleu. 
 
 '•' Dempster," said his lordship, " this is 
 very provoking,'' as the clock struck three ; 
 " my servant is taken ill, don't know what it 
 is, sudden and dangerous illness ; I must leave 
 at six, at latest, for Warnstable ; my friend 
 Sir Edward Clapperton sends his carriage 
 and post horses, with his coachman, to see 
 me start at that hour; but I have no courier, 
 no servant."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 133 
 
 " I know an Italian servant, my lord, who 
 looks remarkably well, and though he speaks 
 but little English he understands all the duties 
 of a courier. He is only two steps ofF, and 
 would be ready in an hour."" 
 
 " Admirable ! " replied his lordship ; and 
 Signor Raspini was engaged in less than the 
 twinkling of an eye. 
 
 "That's the sort of fellow for me," said 
 his lordship to Montague; "none of your 
 reading and writing, spelling and curious 
 servants, but a fellow who can hear all and 
 say nothing, who understands you in an 
 instant, but cannot read your letters; who 
 obevs instead of chattering, and feels that 
 he is your servant. I hate your true English 
 coxcomb, who talks about all your affairs, 
 knows all your genealogy, gets the tailor to 
 dun you when he quits your service, and 
 puts all the ready money you entrust to him 
 to the account of his own wages. Whereas, 
 this Raspini, though he is a Signor, will not 
 exchange one word with Sir Edward's servant, 
 looks more like a chasseur than a courier, and 
 will smoke, laugh, and speak of mi lord
 
 134 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 Anglais, as though there were but two such 
 in the universe. With such a man as this 
 for one''s servant, a frolic, a run-away, a cut 
 and double — everything is possible — for he 
 would keep your secret, never know your right 
 name unless you were fool enough to write it 
 for him, and die in your defence if you only 
 put a few extra shillings in his pocket."*' 
 
 At six to a moment the post carriage-and- 
 four arrived, and Sir Edward's servant entered 
 for orders. 
 
 " Here Tom — Jack — Joe —Will — what 's 
 your name, here 's a sovereign to buy you 
 an ounce of snufF or some pigtail," said his 
 lordship ; " and take this note to Sir Edward, 
 with my compliments to himself and the ladies. 
 The note was characteristic of its writer. 
 
 " Long'? Hotel ; six o'clock. 
 " Dear Sir Edward, 
 
 " In spite of urgent entreaties on the part 
 of my solicitors to remain in town for the 
 Accountant General's office, and notwithstanding 
 still more urgent entreaties from my banker's 
 to conclude some arrangements for investments,
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 135 
 
 I start in two seconds for the Rookery. Thus 
 I run off with your gold and your carriage ; 
 — but to return, I hope, with your creden- 
 tials or title deeds for M. P. for Warnstable, 
 Mettez moi aux pieds de vos dames. And 
 believe how faithfully 1 am 
 
 "Yours, dear Sir Edward, 
 
 " SWAINTON."''' 
 
 "I must have a fifty-pound note of you," said 
 Montague, as his lordship was counting his 
 money, and stowing it away in his waistcoat 
 and other pockets. 
 
 " I cannot manage that," said his lordship ; 
 " but take twenty pounds now, and the rest 
 when I return to London and have changed 
 the other notes." 
 
 '^Cest bien, mon ami" replied Montague, 
 who knew how to take what he could get, 
 and to feel happy with a little. 
 
 " All revoir, my lord,"" exclaimed Montague, 
 as Dempster and the Italian servant assisted 
 Lord Swainton to his seat in the chariot. 
 
 " Very much obhged to you, my lord, and 
 a pleasant journey to your lordship," said
 
 136 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 Sir Edward's coachman, who had not forgotten 
 the sovereign civility of his benefactor. 
 
 " Sans adieu ! Montague. My compliments 
 to Sir Edward and the ladies, — coachman ;" 
 and the carriage drove off. 
 
 " That 's a fine gentleman," said Sir Edward's 
 coachman, " I never drove the like of him 
 before. He beats Sir Edward hollow."" 
 
 " Sir Edward who ? *" asked Dempster, who 
 was by no means dissatisfied to learn something 
 of the new guests at Long's. 
 
 " Why my master, Sir Edward Clapperton, 
 of Clapham Hall."' 
 
 " Who is, then, 1 suppose a friend of his 
 lordship's," inquired Dempster. 
 
 " I fancy he is indeed," replied the coach- 
 man ; " and I wish my master had three 
 hundred such in the year. I shouldn't be 
 coachman long." 
 
 " And the gentleman who remains at the 
 hotel ; do you know him ? "" 
 
 " Oh, he 's a friend of my lord's, I dare say 
 as good as he is : birds of a feather flock 
 together — isn't it so, sir."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 137 
 
 " Very often," said Dempster ; " but not 
 always." 
 
 "But I must get home with my horses, and 
 take down a new post chariot from Adams's," 
 observed the coachman ; "so good night, sir."" 
 
 Lord Swainton had a long, wearisome, cold, 
 and, in every respect, disagreeable journey, 
 and when he arrived at the next post town, 
 at the seat of Sir Oscar Morbleu, he was so 
 fatigued with excitement and with travelling, 
 that he resolved on taking a long night's rest 
 before he made known to Sir Oscar his un- 
 expected arrival. 
 
 The next morning his lordship " was himself 
 again," and despatched his Italian courier on 
 horseback with a note, informing Sir Oscar 
 of the object of his visit and his desire for an 
 interview. 
 
 Sir Oscar had by no means a transcendant 
 opinion of his visitor, but he knew that Lord 
 Swainton was clever, quick, energetic, and en- 
 terprising ; and since the former much wished 
 to dispose of his seat on the best terms he 
 could, before the opening of the Session, (being
 
 io8 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 apprehensive of a change in the government, in 
 the event of disturbances in France,) he invited 
 his lordship to the Rookery, and begged he 
 would not think of remaining at the inn. 
 
 " Come, Sir Oscar, I bring you good news," 
 said his lordship, as he entered the library at 
 the Rookery, where his host was waiting to 
 receive him ; " I have sold your seat — or, 
 at least, I have a buyer. You know I am 
 a man of few words — very few, and you are 
 no marchand in these sort of matters. I have 
 a candidate. Young, handsome, wealthy, good 
 family, a Tory to the back-bone, a staunch 
 supporter of the Duke and Sir Robert, good 
 speaker, out-and-out gentleman, man of ho- 
 nour, I Ve known his father before him. He 
 will give you 1500/. down on the nail, on 
 your giving me, first, your resignation to the 
 electors of Warnstable, and a letter, signed by 
 yourself, recommending my friend ; secondly, 
 a letter to the Chancellor of the Exchequer 
 asking for the Chiltern Hundreds ; and, thirdly, 
 a written request to some one, to be agreed 
 on, to move for a new writ for the borough :
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 139 
 
 all this to be kept a secret ; your resignation 
 and recommendation of my friend to be pub- 
 lished on the same day that the writ is moved 
 for in the House ; and all your interest pro- 
 mised for your successor." 
 
 " I see but two objections to your con- 
 ditions, my lord. The first is the sum named. 
 At least 1000/. too little. The second is, to 
 the non-publication of my letter of resigna- 
 tion until the day of the moving for the 
 writ." 
 
 " I am sorry I took this journey, if that 
 be the case," said his lordship, affecting to 
 regard 2500/. as quite out of the question. 
 
 " Indeed, I deeply regret it," said Sir Oscar, 
 " but I have refused 2000/. to a man whom 
 you know well — and though I would do any- 
 thing in the world to oblige any friend of 
 yours, my lord, you conceive ." 
 
 " Oh, yes !" said Lord Swainton ; " I con- 
 ceive the impossibility of accepting my condi- 
 tions. If, indeed, you should find any reason 
 to alter your determination, or if other arrange- 
 ments should not be concluded with sufficient
 
 140 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 speed to meet your views, as there is so little 
 time to spare before the Houses meet, I shall 
 be happy to renew our negotiations, that is, 
 provided my friend shall not have suited him- 
 self elsewhere. He ! he ! he !" 
 
 " Ah ! indeed, you are very kind to say as 
 much ; but I expect a confidential agent of 
 a gentleman you know well in the sporting 
 world, to be here to-morrow or the next day, 
 and if I had been aware of your intention to 
 come so far, I would have spared you the 
 trouble. The moment I received your letter 
 I invited you to call on my solicitor, Mr. 
 Spark, of the firm of Spark, Flint, and Pow- 
 der, of Lincoln"*s Inn, and I did so to prevent 
 either trouble or misunderstanding." 
 
 " Let us say no more on the subject, then," 
 replied Lord Swainton, still affecting great 
 indifference, whilst every nerve in his system 
 vibrated to the anxieties of his mind : for all 
 his plans and hopes depended on the difference 
 of the price which he should give for the seat 
 to Sir Oscar, and the price at which he should 
 sell it again to Sir Edward Clapperton. Lord
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 141 
 
 Swainton was shown his chamber, reflected on 
 his best course, and finally resolved to keep 
 up an air of indifference, and to endeavour 
 to ascertain who was the confidential agent 
 expected, and for whom he was about to 
 negotiate. 
 
 " Young Ward is looking out for a seat, 
 Sir Oscar ; perhaps yours might suit him." 
 
 " I have not the honour of his acquaintance," 
 replied Sir Oscar drily ; " but he 's immensely 
 rich." 
 
 " Lord Bourtonbury, the Whig of the old 
 school, wishes for a seat for his eldest son ; 
 and he has the ablest agent, Mr. Walter of 
 Grantham, I ever met with in my life," 
 
 " Indeed,'" replied Sir Oscar; " I should 
 think Lord Bourtonbury was not troubled witli 
 the metallic ; as to his Whiggism, he is half 
 a Tory, 1 think ; I know not his son — he does 
 not abound in wealth either, I presume." 
 
 " Not pressed down beneath the weight of 
 gold, I dare say," said Lord Swainton. 
 
 " A gentleman has just arrived, sir, from 
 Grantham, and wishes to see you," said the
 
 14S THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 valet as he opened the door, *' his name is 
 Walter." 
 
 " That is extraordinary," said Lord Swain- 
 ton, who forgot for a moment where he was, 
 who he was, and what he said. 
 
 " Do you know him then, my lord.^" asked 
 Sir Oscar. 
 
 " Oh ! yes, I know him well. Keen as a 
 razor — sharp as a black terrier — and a screw 
 withal ; but never mind, that 's no affair of 
 mine. He unseated one of the sitting members 
 for a borough, whose name shall be nameless, 
 by his own testimony."" 
 
 " That's a bad trait," said Sir Oscar ; " but 
 will your lordship allow me to leave you a few 
 minutes just to welcome him to the Rookery, 
 and do the indispensable civilities ? " 
 
 " Oh ! I beg you will make no excuse," said 
 his lordship ; " business. Sir Oscar, business 
 before everything." 
 
 In less than five minutes Sir Oscar returned, 
 and said, that it had been agreed between him- 
 self and Mr. Walter, that all business should 
 be deferred till the next day, as he was mucli
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 143 
 
 fatigued by his journey from Lincolnshire, and 
 feeling rather indisposed had requested to be 
 allowed to retire to rest. This was a joyful 
 respite for his lordship, who at once determined 
 on the expedient of seeking to gain over Mr. 
 Walter for himself and his candidate, by a re- 
 tainer of 300 sovereigns, thus securing the seat 
 for the price his lordship had offered on his ar- 
 rival at the Rookery. With Sir Oscar, Lord 
 Swainton conversed on the various subjects 
 which then engaged the public attention, par- 
 ticularly on the state of France ; and eked out 
 in a rather dull and monotonous manner the rest 
 of the day. Before retiring to rest, his lordship 
 sent up his compliments to Mr. Walter, and 
 wished to know if he was well enough just to 
 shake hands with an old friend of his, now 
 named Lord Swainton ? Mr. Walter, who had 
 somewhat recovered from his fatigue, thanks to 
 a warm room, warm bed, and some stimulating 
 refreshments, replied that he should be most 
 happy : and his lordship was ushered into Mr. 
 Walter's room. 
 
 " Why, my dear Walter, I'm sorry to hear
 
 144 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 you are so knocked up. What, in the world 
 do you do here, you rogue, in the depth of 
 winter too, and so far removed from the scene 
 of your labours ! " 
 
 " Upon my word, my lord, I am almost as 
 much astonished as yourself to find myself 
 here ; but I dare say you are aware, that when 
 there ^s a place to be let, there's always more 
 than one candidate to fill it." 
 
 " Ah \ I understand you," replied his lord- 
 ship, " a good retainer — a noble fee — such a 
 journey ought to bring grist to the mill. No 
 doubt Lord Bourtonbury is as generous as he 
 is—" 
 
 " Poor," said Mr. Walter ; «' but what can 
 one do when applied to, to undertake a jour- 
 ney under such circumstances ? " 
 
 " Why, make it, to be sure," said his lord- 
 ship. " Only, if his lordship had not been 
 extremely anxious, I know a friend of mine 
 who, if he could effect the purchase on mode- 
 rate terms, through your intervention, would 
 think it his duty to place 300/. at your dis- 
 posal."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 145 
 
 *' Oh ! as to being very anxious," retorted 
 Mr. Walter, " I can hardly say he is very 
 anxious ; especially as he apprehends a disso- 
 lution may take place even before the end of 
 the Session, unless French affairs should take 
 another turn ; but your lordship can easily 
 understand that 300/. is not a very large sum 
 in a matter of this delicacy." 
 
 " Say 500/.'* replied his lordship ; " a«d 
 offer Sir Oscar 1200/. for his seat." 
 
 " I thought of offering 1500/." repHed Mr. 
 Walter ; " but that was the outside sum I was 
 authorized to mention, and that on certain 
 conditions as to the time and manner of arrang- 
 ing this matter." 
 
 " Then a bargain's a bargain," said his lord- 
 ship ; " offer 1200/. for the seat, and no ad- 
 vance on that price. My offer is 1500/. ; if he 
 accepts it — well ; then there will be 500/. for 
 yourself. If he accepts it not — go on with 
 your negotiations, as I shall not bid higher — 
 and may you make a good affair. A journey 
 from Grantham to this distance in winter is 
 worth 500/. or nothing. Ha ! ha ! ha ! " And 
 
 VOL. 1, Lt
 
 146 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 his lordship and Mr. Walter shook hands. 
 The whole scene occupied but five minutes, 
 and Lord Swainton returned to the drawing- 
 room. 
 
 " Dry, clever, close fellow that Walter," 
 said his lordship to Sir Oscar. " Can make 
 nothing of him. Close as a lady's heart when 
 she will not have it besieged, Mademoiselle," 
 turning to Miss Morbleu, who had replied in 
 nothing but monosyllables to all Lord Swain- 
 ton's advances. 
 
 " I do not know him,*" replied Sir Oscar ; 
 " but Lord Bourtonbury's agent must be a 
 man of honour and delicacy." 
 
 "'Oh, undoubtedly!" said Lord Swainton; 
 '* but close as a snail with his shell on. Eh ! 
 eh ! eh ! Beggars description ! " 
 
 The evening was dull and tiresome. Neither 
 Lady Morbleu nor her " yes and no " daughter 
 would either understand or enjoy the witticisms 
 of his lordship, and Sir Oscar, who at ordinary 
 times was by no means an unpleasant compa- 
 nion, was in an uneasy and anxious mood re- 
 specting his seat and his visitors, fearing, lest
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 147 
 
 like Beattie's donkey, who starved between 
 two haystacks of equally bewitching odour, he 
 might, in seeking to set one purchaser against 
 another, lose both, and remain to the first day 
 of the Session, when he must resign, to accept 
 an office offered him by the Government, with 
 the seat on his hands. At eleven o'clock. 
 Lord Swainton retired to rest, well satisfied 
 with his day's comhinaisons — and Sir Oscar 
 did not close his eyes all night. 
 
 " I thank you for your hospitality and a 
 good night'^s rest," Sir Oscar, said his lordship 
 as he entered the breakfast-room ; " and now, 
 will you allow me, as the morning is fine 
 and the weather propitious, to tell my courier 
 to have my carriage and horses at the door 
 in an hour." 
 
 "In an hour!" said Sir Oscar, with much 
 uncomfortable surprise; "but what shall we 
 say about Warnstable ? " 
 
 " Oh ! I would not for the world stand in 
 the way of poor Walter, you know. A com- 
 mission, or rather two, are matters of some 
 importance to him. He is an admirable elec- 
 
 h2
 
 148 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 tion agent. He knows well the value of all 
 this sort of property. He has come all the 
 way from Grantham ; and doubtless his offers 
 will please you." 
 
 " Bat stop, my lord, and see," said Sir 
 Oscar; "your lordship arrived first — and 
 should have the preference." 
 
 " Oh ! you 're very kind. Sir Oscar, but I 
 beg you will only consult your own interests. 
 Friendships in business are out of the ques- 
 tion. I have taken a run down here to oblige 
 a friend, and it has afforded me the double 
 gratification of renewing my acquaintance with 
 you, and of forming that of your amiable lady 
 and accomplished heiress. 
 
 " You are exceedingly obliging," replied Sir 
 Oscar ; " and as your lordship appears anxious 
 to return to London, I will have, with your 
 permission, half an hour's chat with Mr. Wal- 
 ter before any decision shall be come to.'* 
 
 " Oh ! half an hour, or an hour, or even 
 longer, is of no sort of importance," said 
 his lordship ; " only, if Mr. Walter is the 
 buyer, the sooner I return the better, as my
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 149 
 
 friend has another seat in view, which in some 
 respects would suit him much better. But I 
 advised him first to seek to enter into arrange- 
 ments with you, as I knew he could not fall 
 into such hands in any other part of the king- 
 dom." 
 
 " You are really too good. I thank you 
 most sincerely," replied Sir Oscar ; — and Mr. 
 Walter made his appearance. 
 
 Lady Morbleu was as silent and Miss Mor- 
 bleu as monosyllabic at breakfast as they 
 had been the previous day, and though his 
 lordship perpetrated some very capital puns 
 they were perfectly enigmatical to all except 
 Mr. Walter, who had a keen sense of the 
 ludicrous, as well as a good appetite for the 
 splendid breakfast with which he feasted more 
 senses than one, on the morning in question. 
 
 When the breakfast was terminated. Sir 
 Oscar and Mr. Walter adjourned to the li- 
 brary. 
 
 " Affairs look gloomy,"" said Mr. Walter ; 
 " a dissolution is expected to take place next 
 summer. The seat is not worth, then, more
 
 150 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 than one session's purchase. I am prepared 
 to offer you 1200/., Sir Oscar, on condition that 
 the writ is moved for on the first day of the 
 session, and that not a word transpires on the 
 subject to the electors prior to that period." 
 
 " 2000/. I have already refused Mr. Wal- 
 ter, and I am surprised Lord Bourtonbury 
 should think of making me such an offer. 
 Those terms are inadmissible." 
 
 " But, Sir Oscar, though in ordinary times 
 I should concur in your opinion, I assure you 
 that I could not go beyond that price at the 
 present moment; and I have a full conviction 
 that the offer I make you is the best you will 
 now receive. I am sorry to hear you did not 
 accept that of 2000/. Perhaps it was made 
 before the appointment of the Polignac Cabinet 
 in France." 
 
 " Indeed you are mistaken," said Sir Oscar ; 
 "but with your permission I will just speak 
 two words to a farmer who is waiting to see 
 me." 
 
 "With Lord Swainton," thought Mr. Wal- 
 ter, " and no farmer."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 151 
 
 " Oh, by all means, Sir Oscar ; and as you 
 know my ultimatum, I will, with your per- 
 mission, take a walk in the park and return 
 in an hour. 
 
 " Be it so," said Sir Oscar ; " and I wish 
 you a pleasant blow and a healthy ramble." 
 
 " My lord," said Sir Oscar, as he rejoined 
 Lord Swainton in the breakfast parlour, who 
 was engaged in scribbling letters to Scrope, 
 the little Witch, Montague, and half-a-dozen 
 other personages of importance ; " the seat 
 is yours for 2000 guineas. Some of the con- 
 ditions of Mr. Walter do not please me." 
 
 " Sir Oscar, 1500/. is the outside farthing, 
 and you and I will not discuss such matters 
 any further." 
 
 *' Then the seat is yours," said Sir Oscar. 
 
 " If that is your determination," replied his 
 lordship, " we will prepare the documents." 
 
 "And transmit them to my agents in Lon- 
 don," said Sir Oscar. 
 
 " Oh, no, there will be no necessity for that. 
 I will become pledge for the 1500/. if you will 
 give me shelter, wind and water tight, during
 
 152 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 the time necessary for the exchange of cou- 
 riers. To prevent delay, I will send an ex- 
 press ; and to avoid any subsequent discussion, 
 I will also order gold. Beggars description !'' 
 
 '* My lord, I leave all these minor arrange- 
 ments to your lordship's good offices and able 
 management," replied Sir Oscar ; " and in- 
 stead of days, should be delighted to detain 
 you weeks at the Rookery." 
 
 The letter of resignation, addressed to the 
 electors, was then drawn up ; another letter, 
 applying for the Chiltern Hundreds, was pre- 
 pared ; and a third, authorizing the moving 
 for a new writ, was also deposited in his lord- 
 ship's hands. 
 
 The Italian courier was called in. His lord- 
 ship spoke to him in his own language, direct- 
 ed him to prepare himself with a horse, and 
 with a postillion to accompany him in an 
 hour, to proceed tow^ards London ; and his 
 despatches were placed in his hands at one in 
 the afternoon, containing the following letter 
 to Sir Edward Clapperton : —
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 153 
 
 " My dear Sir Edward, 
 
 " I forward you by my Italian courier, 
 with the greatest imaginable despatch, the 
 agreeable and satisfactory intelligence that J 
 have arranged with Sir Oscar Morbleu for 
 Warnstable. I found Mr. Ward had been 
 before me; and Lord Bourtonbury's agent I 
 have had to buy off with a present of 500/. 
 Notwithstanding this wholly unexpected mal- 
 contre, I have succeeded for 3000/., all In- 
 cluded ; and am now in pledge for you for 
 that amount. I enclose you copies of all our 
 documents. The 3000/. I will advance for 
 you, if you desire it-; but if you prefer other- 
 wise, (though it is wholly immaterial to me,) 
 then forward 3000/. in gold. There must be 
 no Bank-notes in this matter. This is a sine 
 qua non with Sir Oscar ; and I could not but 
 acknowledge the justice of his demand. The 
 best mode of transmitting the 3000/. will be 
 by sending it down in a post-chaise, in the 
 charge of some confidential person, and my 
 Italian courier will accompany him. When 
 these arrangements are made, we will meet at 
 
 H 5
 
 154 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 Bath, and take the necessary steps for your 
 being the first in the field the instant Sir Os- 
 car's resignation is made known at Warnstable. 
 If your agent shall not arrive within forty- 
 eight hours from this moment, I shall pay the 
 3000/. for you, and draw on my own bankers 
 for the amount in gold. Not an hour is to 
 be lost. Sir Oscar has given me three days to 
 complete the arrangements ; and I have ordered 
 my courier to proceed to Sir Felix Montague, 
 with despatches for him in the event of your 
 being absent, or of your not being prepared 
 with the required sum, that he may forward it 
 by my own courier without delay. Assure the 
 ladies of my unaffected friendship, and your- 
 self, of my sincere regard. 
 
 " Yours faithfully, 
 
 " SWAINTON." 
 
 " Sharp 's the word, and quick 's the mo- 
 tion," said his lordship, as he placed 30 sove- 
 reigns in the hands of his courier, and bade 
 him arrive, without fail, at Clapham Hall by 
 eight o'clock the following morning.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 155 
 
 " Si, si, signer ,"*' said Raspini, and the whips 
 cracked, the courier galloped, and the postil- 
 lion followed with amazing rapidity. 
 
 " That 's an affair finished," said Lord 
 Swainton, as he walked arm-in-arm with Sir 
 Oscar Morbleu, on the fine terrace in front 
 of the Rookery. 
 
 " I hope so," said Sir Oscar. 
 
 "I am sure so," replied Lord Swainton; 
 and his lordship soon saw with pleasure Mr. 
 Walter start for Grantham, with a promissory 
 note in his pocket which he had signed in 
 his favour for 500/., and payable one month 
 after date at Long's hotel, London.
 
 156 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 Gold ! gold ! gold ! gold ! 
 Bright and yellow, hard and cold, 
 Hoarded, barter'd, bought, and sold, 
 Stolen, borrow'd, squander'd, doled. 
 
 Hood. 
 
 The morning on which Scrope, his father, 
 and Montague left Clapham Hall, was devoted 
 by the Clappertons to conversation on the 
 rapid and wondrous events of the two or three 
 past days. All agreed that Lord Swainton 
 was " a most bewitching man," that Scrope 
 was " a very quiet gentlemanly fellow,"'' and 
 that Sir Felix Montague was " an out-and- 
 out man of the world." 
 
 Lord Swainton they nicknamed " beggars 
 description,*" Scrope they called " my son Sir 
 Edward,""" and Montague they agreed to desig- 
 nate " the man of fashion." All the jokes of 
 his lordship were repeated over and over again, 
 all the peculiarities of Scrope and of his quiet
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 1.57 
 
 lady afforded abundant matter for conversa- 
 tion ; and as to Sir Felix, though his visit 
 had been a short one, he had evidently left 
 behind him very favourable impressions which 
 were felt by the youngest Miss Clapper ton 
 even more than by her sister. 
 
 " The most gentlemanly man I ever saw," 
 said the youngest Miss Clapperton. 
 
 " Yes, he is very gentlemanly,"" responded 
 her sister. 
 
 *' Ah ! not merely very gentlemanly, for of 
 Scrope and Lord Swainton you may say that ; 
 but Sir Felix is the most gentlemanly person I 
 ever saw." 
 
 " Hearts beating and eyes meeting, and 
 all that sort of thing," said Sir Edward. 
 
 " Oh ! Edward, what a plague you are ; one 
 can never admire a man without your making 
 it out directly that one is in love with him. 
 You used to teaze me about the Captain, but, 
 oh, what a difference between the Captain and 
 Sir Felix ! One could hardly believe they both 
 belonged to the same genus." 
 
 " Oh ! that 's too bad," replied Sir Edward ; 
 " I confess I was not pleased with Macfarlane 
 yesterday ; but I am satisfied he was taken
 
 158 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 by surprise, and was rather annoyed at having 
 made us a visit in his accustomed every-day 
 frock-coat, and without a change for either 
 the dinner or the evening. I like our Jiew 
 brooms very much ; but we have had a good 
 deal of service out of the old one." 
 
 '* Well, give me 'beggars description' if I 
 must have either of them," said the eldest 
 Miss Clapperton ; " what say you, Edward?" 
 
 " Oh ! I think so too, I confess," replied Sir 
 Edward ; " besides I take it that Sir Felix 
 is a man of very different fortune to that of 
 Lord Swainton. I shall never forget his truly 
 unaffected and gentlemanly offer to advance 
 the 3000/. necessary for the seat at AYarnstable, 
 if it should be momentarily inconvenient to 
 myself to do so. I should like to have heard 
 of such an offer from one of your city men. 
 They would have required bonds, warrants of 
 attorney, judgments, bills of sale, promissory 
 notes, and insurance of lives at the Pelican 
 or elsewhere, to guarantee the due and punc- 
 tual repayment of the money ; and there would 
 have been deeds, and stamps, and lawyers' 
 bills and consultations, and medical certifi- 
 cates, and I know not what else besides ;
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 159 
 
 whereas, when a peer of the realm undertakes 
 to make important arrangements for you, he 
 gives his time, his money, his interest and 
 patronage, and desires nothing in return but 
 the pleasure of knowing he serves his king 
 and his country by assisting the political party 
 to which he has attached himself, from a con- 
 viction that it is the most favourable to the 
 conservative interests of church and state. That 
 is true nobility." 
 
 The eldest Miss Clapperton was enchanted 
 with this eulogium passed on her dear Lord 
 Swain ton, and unhesitatingly declared " that 
 notwithstanding the great difference in their 
 respective ages, if Lord Swainton should offer 
 her his hand she would give him her heart 
 without a moment's hesitation." 
 
 '' There was another trait in the conduct 
 of his lordship yesterday which delighted me 
 beyond measure," continued Sir Edward, " for 
 it contrasted so strongly with the city mode of 
 conducting such matters. When I insisted 
 (and I really was obliged to insist) on placing 
 some money at his lordship's disposal for tra- 
 velling expenses, and all that sort of thing, 
 he would not suffer me to write a cheque for
 
 160 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 more than 300/. and even begged it might only 
 be 200/. How different would Mr. Alderman 
 Cleggalt, or Messrs. Black, Ease, and Black, 
 have proceeded to business. But in three mi- 
 nutes all was settled, and even so great was 
 his delicacy of feeling, that to prevent here- 
 after any unpleasant discussions before a com- 
 mittee of the House of Commons respecting 
 my purchasing a seat in parliament, or rather 
 the interest of the sitting member, he said that 
 Scrope should go and receive the cheque, and 
 that my own name might be inserted in the 
 body of it." 
 
 " Did he, indeed ! " said the eldest Miss 
 Clapperton, with great emphasis, and no lack of 
 feeling. " You are quite right, Sir Edward ; 
 none but noblemen can thus act. Such con- 
 duct and such principles must be hereditary. 
 Don't you remember reading how poor Lord 
 Sykes, when he wished to borrow some money 
 of an usurer, in order to assist him in pro- 
 curing a seat in parliament, was compelled by 
 the wretched fellow to pay him I think twenty- 
 five per cent, interest, in the form of an an- 
 nuity, and, besides that, to insure his life.^" 
 
 " To be sure I do," said Sir Edward ; " and
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 161 
 
 I also remember that in spite of this nice bar- 
 gain, his lordship returned him principal and 
 interest in money at the full value, though the 
 usurer only advanced him the amount in the 
 shape of brooches, pins, and rings, which he 
 was obliged to sell at so low a rate that he 
 did not realize more than forty per cent." 
 
 " But now," said the eldest Miss Clapperton, 
 as they sat after dinner over wine and filberts, 
 — the latter carefully preserved in hermetically- 
 sealed canisters, so as to have them as fresh in 
 December as in October, — " I want really to 
 have a little serious talk with you about your 
 former love affair with Maria Gather wood. 
 Certainly she is a very sweet girl — I love her 
 dearly — and whatever may be our future des- 
 tiny, and it may be very brilliant, whatever 
 I can do to render her happy I should always 
 feel it my duty to do ; but to prevent anything 
 like reproach afterwards, or coolness towards 
 them, or from them towards us, — a thing 
 which would make me quite wretched, — 1 do 
 think that you ought, either yourself, or by me 
 if you will, — and I am sure I am willing to do 
 anything for you, — to let her understand that 
 the love that boys feel and poets feign, you still
 
 \62 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 cherish for her, but nothing more than this, 
 and that she is quite at liberty to accept any 
 proposal made to her, as you consider yourself 
 equally free, should you think fit to settle down 
 in life and cease to be a bachelor. And I will 
 tell you why I mention this. When you were 
 at Bath, the Edwards's came down and spent 
 a long day here, and amongst other things, we 
 talked, of course, of the Catherwoods. Jane 
 Edwards said, * Oh, I 've got a piece of news 
 to tell you. Who do you think has made 
 an offer to Maria ? ' We guessed every one 
 we could think of, and were at last obliged 
 to give it up. ' Young Price,' said Jane; ' but 
 Maria declined the offer of course."* — ' Why of 
 course, Jane ? ' I asked. ' I see no reason why 
 she should have refused. For my part, it is 
 of all others the match I should have deemed 
 the most suitable.' — ' Why you are joking, 
 my dear,' replied Jane. ' The most suitable ! 
 Come, come, that is a very good joke indeed, 
 and from the sister of Sir Edward, too ! ' — 
 ' Sir Edward,' I replied ; ' why, what has Sir 
 Edward to do with it, Jane ? ' — * Why, my 
 dear girl, is not Sir Edward engaged to
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 163 
 
 Maria ? * — ' No more engaged to Maria than 
 he is to you, Jane; and I believe he loves 
 one as much as he does the other. Edward 
 feels towards you as he does towards Maria. 
 Have we not all been brought up children 
 together ? Whatever his future sphere may 
 be, he will never cease to love the playmates 
 and the friends of his earliest days.' Jane 
 expressed her surprise at what I said, but 
 added ' that she thought you, Edward, viewed 
 the matter in a very different light to that in 
 which it was regarded by me/ " 
 
 " Not very different, my dear sister,'* re- 
 plied Sir Edward. " When you said, however, 
 that I loved Jane Edwards as well as Maria 
 Catherwood, you embellished the picture. But 
 it is quite true that I consider both her and 
 myself at perfect liberty to make such matri- 
 monial arrangements as we may find most con- 
 ducive to our happiness, and that, according 
 to her own proposal, this liberty is most ab- 
 solute." 
 
 " I should go much more happily to Bath,"" 
 said Miss Clapperton, " if you would give me 
 your authority to say as much as this, in the
 
 164- THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 most unreserved manner, to Maria herself, to- 
 morrow or the next day, as we propose spend- 
 ing an hour or two with them before our de- 
 parture ; for nothing would grieve me more 
 than to have it said hereafter, when you are 
 in parliament and moving in the best circles, 
 that you had acted unkindly or unhandsomely 
 to Maria." 
 
 " Unkindly or unhandsomely to Maria ! " 
 exclaimed Sir Edward; " why I should as soon 
 think of behaving so to you, my dear sister — 
 are we not all sisters and brothers together ? "" 
 
 " To be sure we are, and nothing more," 
 replied Miss Clapperton ; " and this short con- 
 versation has relieved me from a weight of 
 anxiety which has oppressed me these last few 
 days, and which has diminished the pleasure 
 afforded to me in the society of your new ac- 
 quaintances, my dear Edward. But now I 
 know all your mind, I am quite at rest."*"* 
 
 " Of course you will say nothing to annoy 
 Maria," replied Sir Edward; " and the pro- 
 posed conversation with her on the subject 
 you will take care shall appear quite natural 
 and as a matter of course, and not as if you 
 were the bearer of any message from me to her.""
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 165 
 
 " Trust to me, Edward — I love Maria too 
 well to distress her for a moment ; but your 
 honour, and her happiness, may perhaps re- 
 quire me to be frank. And as she has refused 
 so eligible a match as young Price, and Jane 
 Edwards has more than once hinted at the 
 reason, it is high time there should be no more 
 misconception on this subject." 
 
 Sir Edward and the youngest sister were 
 both loud in their praises of their eldest sister's 
 conduct on this and on all important occasions, 
 and the evening passed off very agreeably. 
 
 The next day, Sir Edward went to London 
 to arrange many private matters connected with 
 his approaching departure for Bath, as well 
 as to supply himself with ample ready money 
 means to meet any demand which might be 
 made on him by Lord Swainton with reference 
 to the borough of Warnstable. He sold out 
 some stock, and had a balance of 5200/. in his 
 banker's hands. 
 
 The iVliss Clappertons left Clapham Hall at 
 the early hour of eleven, made an endless 
 variety of purchases at Howell and James's, 
 and then proceeded to make their P. P. C. 
 visits, and leave cards when their friends or
 
 166 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 acquaintances were either invisible, or perhaps 
 really not at home. 
 
 " My dear Maria," said the eldest Miss 
 Clapperton to Maria Catherwood, when quite 
 unintentionally they were left alone in the 
 drawing-room by the rest of the family and 
 the youngest Miss Clapperton, who had all 
 gone downstairs to look at a new and noisy 
 parrot who was singing and whistling in the 
 dining-room, — " I am half, but only half, angry 
 with you, and have a great mind to give you a 
 scolding." 
 
 " Give me a scolding ! " exclaimed the pretty 
 pet Maria — " Ah, I hope not — it would almost 
 break my heart to have a scolding from you. 
 But I see by your smiles it is nothing very 
 serious : pray tell me directly — I am dying to 
 know." 
 
 " Cannot you guess ? " asked Miss Clapper- 
 ton. '* I think you can, Maria." 
 
 " No, indeed, I cannot," said Maria, with 
 that air of real truth which cannot be counter- 
 feited. 
 
 " Well then, why did you not tell me that 
 Charles Price had made you an offer ? " 
 
 "Oh! is that all, my dear.?" replied the
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 167 
 
 light and soft beauty, as her cheeks burned 
 with blushes and emotion ; '* I am glad it 's 
 of no more importance than that." 
 
 "Why, what do you mean?" inquired Miss 
 Clapperton ; '* of no more importance than 
 that. All I can say, Maria, is, that if I had 
 had such an offer, I should have told you." 
 
 " Oh I it was a thing of no importance at 
 all," said Maria, still blushing more than be- 
 fore ; " pray who told you ? " _ 
 
 " Jane," answered Miss Clapperton ; " and 
 she added, that you had refused him." 
 
 " To be sure I did," said Maria, turning 
 somewhat pale, and looking like a lily at 
 sunset. 
 
 "Why, what is the matter with him?" 
 asked Miss Clapperton, determined on not 
 letting the matter drop here. " Of all the 
 City men with whom I am acquainted, I know 
 none I should have preferred to young Price.'* 
 " But if I am not fond of City men, my 
 dear," said Maria, slightly blushing. 
 
 " Ah ! then your affections are engaged else- 
 where," replied Miss Clapperton ; " and if that 
 be the case, I have indeed the right to scold 
 you for not having told me."
 
 168 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 Maria turned pale, quite pale, and looked 
 most lovely. 
 
 " I am sure I did not say I had placed my 
 affections anywhere, or on any one,'* said 
 Maria ; " and so why should you suspect me ?" 
 " Because you have refused so admirable 
 an offer as young Price's : with good manners, 
 fortune, education, and highly respectable fa- 
 mily. Even Sir Edward, who considers him- 
 self your brother, expressed his surprise that 
 so eligible an offer should have been rejected." 
 
 " Did he?" asked Maria; " and " 
 
 At this moment the door opened, and the 
 youngest Miss Clapperton and the Cather- 
 woods returned from the parrot. Maria en- 
 deavoured to conceal her agitation, but she 
 could not wholly succeed. 
 
 " My dear Maria," asked Mrs. Gather wood, 
 " why, what 's the matter with you ? How 
 pale you look, my dear. Come here, love. 
 How cold you are ! Why you tremble !" 
 
 " Oh ! it's nothing, mamma, — nothing at all. 
 It will go off in a moment. I am so some- 
 times, — it never lasts long, — there, I 'm better 
 now!" and she smiled as beauteously as she 
 was wont to do. The effort she had made to
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 169 
 
 restrain her tears had caused this nervous irri- 
 tation. Miss Clapperton perceived it with 
 sorrow. It was evident that up to that mo- 
 ment Maria had not considered herself quite 
 so free as she had begged Sir Edward to be, 
 and that she had hoped he had not wholly 
 taken her at her word. But then Miss Clap- 
 perton observed with satisfaction, that Maria 
 afterwards joined in the conversation on gene- 
 ral topics, as well as respecting Sir Edward, 
 the house at Bath, Lord Swainton, &c. &c. 
 in her accustomed mirthful and sweet manner ; 
 and she hoped, against hope, that as the ice 
 had now been broken, and as Maria knew how 
 the Clappertons, and above all, how Sir Ed- 
 ward, looked on the whole affair, that hence- 
 forth there would be a total forgetfulness of 
 their merely juvenile attachment. Mrs. Ca- 
 therwood erroneously imputed, in her own 
 mind, these slight attacks of feeling or of indis- 
 position, on the part of Maria, to her regret at 
 having somewhat abruptly refused the hand of 
 young Price; and, as mothers always do in 
 these cases, " she feared Maria had a coldy 
 
 *' Adieu I dear Maria," said Miss Clapper- 
 ton, as she took leave ; *' I love you tenderly, 
 
 VOL. I. I
 
 170 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 and hope your mamma will contrive to bring 
 you down to Bath." 
 
 Maria, who, with great strength of mind, 
 had at once secretly resolved not to throw her- 
 self in the way of Sir Edward, or to seek to 
 cherish in him a passion which perhaps he no 
 longer felt, replied, " I think that will be im- 
 possible." 
 
 " I fear so too, my dear Miss Clapperton," 
 said Mrs. Catherwood; "but we shall love 
 you all just as dearly. Remember us all to 
 Sir Edward. Adieu !" 
 
 The Clappertons all met at seven in the 
 evening at Clapham Hall, and the dinner was 
 enlivened by the coachman, who being question- 
 ed by Sir Edward respecting the proceedings 
 of Lord Swainton and Sir Felix Montague on 
 the previous day, replied to all his inquiries 
 with words of great pomp in honour of his 
 lordship. The fact was, that the " west-end 
 servant"" had a holiday given him by Sir Ed- 
 ward, to see his friends in town before leaving 
 for Bath, and the ladies' footman was ill. So 
 the coachman waited at table. 
 
 " Indeed, Sir Edward, they went to all the 
 great houses in London. I never saw so many
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 171 
 
 calls made in one day in my life before ; and 
 all big houses, — all first-rate houses, as the 
 saying is, — quite the richest, greatest, noble- 
 man-Uke sort of palaces. You know, miss, 
 what I mean," addressing himself alternately 
 to Sir Edward and his eldest sister; "and 
 everybody seemed to know him, and he knew 
 everybody. I dare say, miss, his lordship is 
 not a very young man, as the saying is ; and 
 yet he jumped in and out of the carriage like a 
 squirrel. I beg your pardon, Sir Edward, — 
 I mean no offence ; but he was so light, as it 
 were." 
 
 " Yes, his lordship is very active," replied 
 Sir Edward gravely. " I suppose, however, 
 he did not make your fortune.'' 
 
 The coachman smiled. " No, not my for- 
 tune, Sir Edward, certainly ; by no means : 
 but I should have no objection to do such a 
 day's work three hundred-and-sixty-five days 
 of every year. Oh! he's the most generousest 
 man I ever clapped my eyes on.'"* 
 
 " And pray, my dear sister," asked Sir Ed- 
 ward of Miss Clapperton, as wine and filberts 
 again amused them at dessert, " have you seen 
 the Catherwoods to-day, — and how are they ?" 
 
 i2
 
 172 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " Yes, we saw them, Edward, and remained 
 two hours with them ; and found them all quite 
 well, except Maria, who has a little cold. At 
 least, so says Mrs. Catherwood." 
 
 " But what do you say ?" 
 
 " Why, what her mother says, to be sure. 
 How can I know better than her mother?'' 
 
 " Come, come, my dear Charlotte," said Sir 
 Edward ; " that won't do. Let 's have all out, 
 good, bad, or indifferent, or, as the sailors say, 
 all above board," 
 
 " Well, then, Edward, I fear Maria, up to 
 this day, has not considered herself so far re- 
 leased from all engagements with you, as you 
 supposed. But, to my great relief, this is the 
 case no longer." 
 
 " Why, what did she say, then?" asked Sir 
 Edward, with some emotion; and Miss Clap- 
 perton related, with scrupulous fidelity, every 
 word that had passed. 
 
 "And how did you leave her?" asked Sir 
 Edward. 
 
 " Evidently relieved, like myself, of a great 
 weight off her mind,'' answered Miss Clap- 
 perton ; " and now we may all go to Bath as
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 173 
 
 soon as you like ; and for my part, I shall go 
 determined to be happy." 
 
 " She did not weep ?" asked Sir Edward. 
 
 " Oh no, indeed ! " replied Miss Clapper- 
 ton ; " beautiful and tender as she is, she has 
 too much energy of character to weep. Be- 
 sides which, she knew perfectly well that you 
 were not under any sort of obligation to 
 each other beyond that of pure friendship ; 
 her emotion was only that of one who is in 
 the act of formally forgetting or getting rid 
 of the reminiscences of some girlish attach- 
 ment, more imagined than expressed/' 
 
 " Not exactly so,'' replied Sir Edward ; 
 " for you know, four years ago, when about 
 nineteen, I made her an offer of marriage." 
 
 " Yes : but she entreated you to consider 
 that offer as no longer binding." 
 
 " Precisely so," replied Sir Edward ; " and 
 nothing more has since transpired." 
 
 *' And nothing more will transpire, I hope, 
 dear Edward," retorted his sister ; " go and call 
 on the Catherwoods, behave just as you have 
 always done ; talk, laugh, joke, quiz, and kiss, 
 as brother and sisters, son and mamma, and
 
 174 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 then our friendship for that charming family 
 will remain as it ought to do, wholly un- 
 changed, and placed, as it should be, on its 
 proper footing." 
 
 Sir Edward promised that this should be 
 the case, and as all were wearied with their 
 multiplied avocations during the day, they 
 retired at an earlier hour than usual to their 
 chambres a coucher. 
 
 To the inexpressible annoyance of all the 
 servants at Clapham Hall, they were disturb- 
 ed the next morning, a cold and wet De- 
 cember day, by a violent and protracted ring- 
 ing at the great bell. The Newfoundland 
 dog barked furiously. It was scarcely five. 
 There were several voices to be heard. One 
 seemed like that of a foreigner, another was 
 that of the Clapham Common patrole, and 
 the third was a sharp shrill voice, which 
 harmonized well enough with the wind that 
 whistled among the trees. 
 
 The gardener and the coachman at length 
 made their appearance. 
 
 " I be Signor Raspini, di courier, di mi 
 lord Anglais," said Lord Swainton's courier, 
 as the outer gates were opened for admission.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 175 
 
 " I wish you had come a little later, old 
 chap," grumbled the gardener, " whoever you 
 be ; but it 's no use talking your nasty foreign 
 stuff to me. Tell us in plain downright Eng- 
 lish who you are, what you are, and what you 
 want ?" 
 
 " Me explain," said Signor Raspini ; " mi 
 Lord Swainton to my Lord Clapham — one 
 packet — me give Lord Clapham." 
 
 " Oh ! I see what it is," said the patrole ; 
 " Lord Swainton has sent this fellow — " 
 
 " I be no fellow — I be Signor Raspini, 
 courier to mi lords Anglais, many mi lords 
 Anglais." 
 
 " I wish you 'd hold your nasty foreign 
 jaw," said the gardener with characteristic po- 
 liteness, " we don't see any of you foreign 
 devils here; so let this here gentleman ex- 
 plain," pointing to the patrole, " and then we 
 shall get on a little." 
 
 " Why, I was going to explain," said the 
 patrole, " that some one, whom this fellow 
 calls Lord Swainton, has sent him with a 
 parcel or packet, or something or other, for 
 your master, whom he calls Lord Clapham, 
 instead of Sir Edward Clapperton; but these
 
 176 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 poor creatures. Lord bless 'em, know nothing 
 of no other language than their nasty foreign 
 stuff — so that's all the matter." 
 
 " Well, why didn't you come, old chap, with 
 your parcel or packet, a little later, and not 
 rattle up gentlemen's servants at this time 
 o' the morning, in your old Roman Catholic 
 ways ? There 's none of you are Christians, 
 you are all blind Papists, you are — ;" and 
 in this strain, it is more than probable the 
 gardener would have proceeded much longer, 
 to the great annoyance of Signor Raspini, 
 had not the coachman, with the aid of the 
 light of a second lantern, perceived that the 
 courier was the very same gentleman who, but 
 three days previously, had handed in Lord 
 Swain ton to his carriage at Long's, or, in plain 
 terms, that he was Lord Swainton's servant. 
 
 " Robert," said the coachman, as soon as 
 he had made the discovery ; " Robert," ad- 
 dressing himself to the gardener ; " do you 
 know who you are talking to ? It 's the ser- 
 vant, the courier, of Lord Swainton, who I 
 told you I started from Long's Hotel in mas- 
 ter's post-chariot. Go along with you, and 
 leave the gentleman to me."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 177 
 
 " I hope no offence, sir," said the gardener, 
 who began to fear that Signor Raspini might 
 report unfavourably of him to his master. Sir 
 Edward ; " I hope no offence, sir. I thought 
 it was some of these wandering Italian vaga- 
 bonds with their palaver. I didn't know it 
 was a gentleman's courier." 
 
 " I be Italian,'' said Raspini ; " I be no 
 vagabond. I tell mi lord." 
 
 " Get out of the way with you directly," 
 said the coachman to the gardener ; " you are 
 only making yourself a fool. Leave this gen- 
 tleman to me. Follow me, sir, if you please, 
 and I will make a fire in the servants' hall 
 in the twinkling of an eye. This way, sir, 
 if you please, and, Robert, bring some sticks 
 and make a fire." 
 
 " I be no gentleman, — I be no vagabond," 
 said Raspini ; " I be de courier de mi Lord 
 Swainton. I come so quick, so quick, with 
 great news to mi Lord Clapham I" 
 
 " Clapperton," said the coachman, " my 
 friend, not Clapham." 
 
 " Clapperton," replied Raspini; "'tis just 
 di same. I want speak to mi lord." 
 
 I 5
 
 178 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " He is in bed," said the coachman. 
 
 " Me must see mi lord directlek," said 
 Raspini. 
 
 " That is impossible," replied the coachman. 
 
 " Me have a thing for him," said Raspini. 
 
 " Very likely," replied the coachman. 
 
 " Me must tell him de great news from 
 mi lord." 
 
 " Not at five in the morning," said the 
 coachman. 
 
 " He will lose de tousand pounds, if mi lord 
 not get this (producing the despatches) di- 
 rectlek." 
 
 " I '11 go and call Sir Edward's servant," 
 said the coachman; and, a little before six, 
 the fashionable west-end valet made his ap- 
 pearance. 
 
 The valet soon understood the whole matter, 
 and desiring that the servants might all be 
 called up instantly, carried up the despatches 
 to his master, lighted a fire in his bed-room, 
 placed wax-lights and the writing-desk of Sir 
 Edward near the fire, then took care of the 
 courier, and agreed fully with him, " that the 
 gardener, coachman, and all the rest of these 
 country servants, knew nothing of polite life."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 179 
 
 " Wonderful man ! " exclaimed Sir Edward, 
 as he read the letter of his lordship, and the 
 copies of the documents it contained. *' I 
 must be at my bankers'* by nine, speak to 
 them about this affair of gold, and consult 
 them how I shall send it to his lordship." 
 
 " Let the courier come up," said Sir Ed- 
 ward, when his valet retired ; and Sir Edward 
 questioned him as to the time of his leaving 
 the Rookery, the wonderful rapidity with which 
 he had performed his journey, and placed in 
 his hand a five-pound note. The courier then 
 retired to rest, and was requested to be ready 
 by noon to proceed in a post-chaise, with an 
 agent of Sir Edward, to the seat of Sir Oscar 
 Morbleu. 
 
 The Miss Clappertons rose two hours earlier 
 than usual that morning. They perused with 
 rapture the letter and the enclosures, and con- 
 gratulated their brother on his expected title 
 of M.P. for the borough of Warnstable. 
 
 " I cannot tell whom to send with the 
 3000/.," said Sir Edward. " I hardly like to 
 trust so large an amount in gold to the Italian 
 courier of his lordship ; and yet I would not 
 for the world appear to distrust him."
 
 180 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " Cannot you ask George Catherwood ?'' said 
 the eldest Miss Clapperton ; " it would be 
 an agreeable journey for him. Of course you 
 would pay all expenses, and, as he knows 
 Italian, he would converse with the courier.'* 
 
 "A capital notion, that !" replied Sir Ed- 
 ward ; " and I can, at the same time, take 
 leave of Maria and the rest of the family," 
 
 Sir Edward hastened to London, made the 
 arrangements he proposed, and, at two o'clock, 
 George Catherwood and the courier started 
 in a hired carriage and pair on their way to 
 Lord Swainton. Sir Edward hired a carriage 
 for the journey, to avoid the constant shifting 
 of the box containing the gold, and George 
 Catherwood was instructed to feast the cou- 
 rier on the road, to deliver the chest to Lord 
 Swainton, and not to accept any invitation to 
 remain at the Rookery, but simply to leave the 
 chest, and return post, but more leisurely, to 
 London. Sir Edward begged of him to spend 
 a day or two at Bath, requested him to make 
 his house at Milsom Street his head-quarters, 
 and assured him that no one would ever be 
 more welcome to his present or future resi-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 181 
 
 dences than the members of the Catherwood 
 family. 
 
 To Lord Swainton, Sir Edward wrote as 
 follows : — 
 
 " My very dear Lord, 
 
 " It would be quite impossible for me to 
 express to you, in any language, my debt of 
 obligation to you. I only hope that you will, 
 at some future time, command my services ; 
 not that by them I can hope to repay you 
 for your actually unmerited kindness, but 
 only to enable me to give some practical 
 proof of my gratitude and devotedness. I 
 have requested a young friend of mine, who 
 is about to spend a few days at Bath, at 
 my house in Milsom Street, to see the box 
 with 3000/. in gold, delivered into your hands, 
 but, as he is wholly ignorant of the object 
 of this remittance, as well as of the amount 
 transmitted, I have begged him simply to leave 
 the money with your lordship, and then to 
 withdraw. My sisters have received your kind 
 recollections with much pleasure, and they, 
 with myself, long once more to enjoy your
 
 18^ THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 truly delightful society. Clapham Hall has 
 sunk back to its old humdrum monotony, and 
 you alone can revive it. But, I believe, when 
 next we meet, it is to be at Bath, — is it not? 
 I wait your orders. Believe me, 
 " My dear lord, 
 " Yours most gratefully and faithfully, 
 "E. Clapperton." 
 
 " I think my seat is pretty well assured 
 now," said Sir Edward, as he conversed with 
 his sisters after dinner. 
 
 " I think so, indeed," replied the eldest 
 Miss Clapperton ; " but what said Maria to 
 you?" 
 
 " Oh, she was the same as ever. No dif- 
 ference. I thought she turned rather pale 
 when I went in ; but it might have been fancy. 
 Mrs. Catherwood made me sing my poor dear 
 father's favourite song, 
 
 ' I 've kissed and I 've prattled with fifty fair maids, 
 But the maid of the mill for me.* 
 
 And we parted as we always do, the best of 
 friends ; — though the best of friends must 
 part."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 183 
 
 " And therefore so must we," said the eldest 
 Miss Clapperton, and all once more regained 
 their bed-rooms. 
 
 There we will leave them for the present, 
 wishing them pleasant dreams and rosy slum- 
 bers.
 
 184 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 There be that can pack cards, and yet cannot play well ; 
 so there are some that are good in canvasses and factions, 
 that are otherwise weak men. 
 
 Lord Swainton felt himself rather uneasy at 
 " The Rookery," for although Sir Oscar did all 
 he could to render himself and his residence 
 agreeable, it was one of those houses where 
 no one is ever at home, because the permanent 
 inmates do not appear to be so themselves. 
 Few persons ever remained there more than 
 two or three days, and the period for visit- 
 ing the Rookery which even these preferred, 
 was when the neighbouring races rendered 
 out-door amusements indispensable. It was 
 not that Lady Morbleu was either ignorant or 
 unamiable, nor was it that Miss Morbleu 
 was deficient either in education or good man- 
 ners ; but the whole family was naturally cold.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 185 
 
 formal, and ceremonious, and only associated 
 with a few of the highest and leading families 
 in the county. Sir Oscar found his life mono- 
 tonous, and got into parliament. When in 
 parliament he found that life too expensive, 
 for few boroughs required more constant ex- 
 penditure than Warnstable. He applied to 
 government for office, and waited year after 
 year for the accomplishment of repeated pro- 
 mises. The truth was, that the vote of Sir 
 Oscar in parliament was worth a vast deal more 
 than either his name or support out of it, 
 and the government was, therefore, by no 
 means anxious to comply with his wishes. But 
 as prospects of change became more pro- 
 bable, as the effects of the Roman Catholic 
 Emancipation Bill were beginning to be felt, 
 and as some cries for Reform were heard, the 
 prayers of Sir Oscar were at length listened 
 to, and a seat at a government board of some 
 importance was secured to him. The ex- 
 pensive borough of Warnstable he resolved 
 therefore to resign, and either to come in on 
 very moderate terms for a government borough, 
 or to remain out of parliament altogether. On 
 this point he determined to obey directions
 
 186 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 from head- quarters, but as he had the cer- 
 tainty of receiving the appointment a few days 
 after the meeting of parliament, and, as that 
 appointment would necessitate a new election, 
 he took preparatory measures for securing to 
 himself the return of a portion of those thou- 
 sands of pounds which he had expended in 
 the borough in question. Sir Oscar was not 
 pleased with the condition of resigning his vote 
 before the Houses met, and of having the writ 
 moved for on the first day of the session. He 
 would have preferred greatly to have received 
 his diploma of office before he took any of 
 these preliminary steps ; but as both Mr. 
 Walter and Lord Swainton had insisted on the 
 same condition, he was obliged to yield, and 
 nothing more than the receipt by him of the 
 15001. was necessary to complete all arrange- 
 ments. 
 
 Lord Swainton was most anxious for the re- 
 turn of the courier. He feared that in his 
 letter to Sir Edward he had not been suffi- 
 ciently explicit respecting the transmission of 
 the 3000/. He counted every hour, and then 
 every minute of the time. He walked, talk- 
 ed, read, rose early, sat up much later than
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 187 
 
 the Morbleu family were accustomed to do, 
 played short whist, rallied the ladies, discussed 
 every old and new question of politics with the 
 chief of the house, drank of every wine, sipped 
 every liqueur, wrote letters without end, and of 
 course dated them all from the Rookery, so that 
 the acquaintances of his lordship were asto- 
 nished to find him one day at Sir Edward 
 Clapperton's seat, in Surrey, and a few days 
 afterwards two hundred miles off, at the 
 Rookery of Sir Oscar. Many of them won- 
 dered at his new accession of " dear friends," 
 never heard of before ; but all attributed these 
 freaks to some improvement in his purse. How 
 he had contrived thus to amend his fortune, 
 they could not tell ; but they were fully aware 
 that his head was always scheming, and that 
 he gained more than he lost — at play. 
 
 Sir Oscar kept some good horses, and in or- 
 der to divert themselves, and shake off the ennui 
 of waiting for the arrival of the courier and the 
 funds, he proposed to his lordship a ride to 
 Warnstable on horseback. The proposition 
 was accepted, and, as the afternoon was bright 
 and clear, though somewhat frosty, the horses 
 arrived at the door at two o'clock. But Lord
 
 188 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 Swainton had scarcely taken his seat in his 
 saddle, when he perceived driving up most 
 furiously towards the door of the Rookery, 
 through the small park of Sir Oscar, a carriage 
 and pair, and in a moment afterwards the head 
 of the Italian courier popped out of the window. 
 
 " They must have travelled amazingly fast, 
 Sir Oscar," said his lordship; "beggars de- 
 scription ! — never saw post-horses gallop so 
 fast in my life." 
 
 The carriage stopped. Young Gather wood 
 alighted: placed in Lord Swainton's hand the 
 letter of Sir Edward, which the former read 
 with the rapidity with which an eagle pounces 
 on its prey. 
 
 "Ah, you are the friend of Sir Edward/"" 
 said his lordship. 
 
 " Sir Oscar, this young gentleman is the 
 friend of my friend ; and is the bearer of what 
 we expected." 
 
 " Pray, walk in," said Sir Oscar. 
 
 " Will you have the goodness to excuse me ?" 
 replied George Gatherwood, obeying the very 
 letter of his instructions. " I have travelled all 
 night, am much fatigued, and wish to set off to 
 Bath in a few hours. 1 have only to deliver a
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 189 
 
 box to his lordship, which the courier will take 
 out of the carriage." 
 
 So the courier took out the box, and placed 
 it in the hall. 
 
 " But you really must allow me the pleasure 
 of offering you the best that the Rookery 
 can supply," said Sir Oscar, in his most polite 
 manner. " You will find the inn very com- 
 fortable, no doubt, but I think we can do a 
 little better for you." 
 
 *' Yes, yes," said his lordship, " Sir Oscar is 
 right; a few glasses of his champagne and a 
 broiled fowl or so, and the softest bed in the 
 county, will refresh you more than old port, a 
 rump-steak, and a mattress." 
 
 " I am greatly obliged to both Sir Oscar 
 and yourself, my lord," replied young Cather- 
 wood ; " but I ordered my dinner and bed 
 at the inn, and arranged with the master that 
 this post-boy and his horses should take me 
 back again." 
 
 " I am extremely sorry,'' said Sir Oscar. 
 
 " I deeply lament your determination," add- 
 ed his lordship, who still kept his eyes steadily 
 fixed on the precious box, which had been 
 placed just within the hall at the door.
 
 190 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 Young Catherwood took leave in a minute, 
 leaped into the carriage, and drove off. 
 
 " Fine youth that," said Sir Oscar. 
 
 " Admirable ! Beggars description !*" re- 
 plied his lordship, walking rapidly into the 
 hall whilst he pronounced the panegyric. 
 
 " May I trouble you to take this into my 
 room ?" asked his lordship of the head foot- 
 man. 
 
 " How heavy it is for so small a box," ob- 
 served the footman. 
 
 " Yes, it contains some precious ores from 
 America,"" said his lordship. 
 
 In a few seconds Lord Swainton was left 
 alone with his box. How he opened it no one 
 can tell, for it was well nailed down, and screw- 
 ed into the bargain, and his lordship had only 
 a pocket-knife, which had been his constant 
 companion for years past, to serve as hammer 
 and screwdriver ; but no carpenter could have 
 been more dexterous, or one-half as expedi- 
 tious as his lordship ; and 3000 new sovereigns 
 from the Bank met his anxious, but now ra- 
 vished eyes. 
 
 " Beggars description ! " repeated his lord- 
 ship to himself at least fifty times, as he un-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 191 
 
 packed each little " rouleau" of fifty sovereigns, 
 and counted them one after the other. 
 
 " My lord," said a voice from without, whilst 
 the person who spoke knocked at the door, 
 " my lord, as the letters will be sent off to the 
 post in five minutes, Sir Oscar wishes to know 
 if your lordship has any other letter to send 
 besides those you have left on the hall-table ? " 
 
 " Oh yes, yes," replied his lordship, " by all 
 means. I will give you a letter in a minute for 
 London;" — and seizing a pen he wrote as 
 follows : — 
 
 " This goes for to tell, 
 
 That the gold I 've received, 
 With a quickness that 's passing belief ; — 
 ' All 's well that ends well/ 
 
 Is my motto and creed, — 
 And Sir Edward is sure of his seat ! 
 
 "SWAINTON." 
 
 "Beggars description!" said his lordship, 
 as he sealed up the letter, and gave it to the 
 servant who stood outside. " This is quick 
 work with a vengeance. The Rapids are a 
 tool to it. Nothing but lightning to rival it. 
 Steam it beats; balloons are the old heavy 
 vans, two miles an hour on an average, com- 
 pared with this. Admirable man, Sir Edward I
 
 192 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 What a siorht ! 3000 sovereigns at once ! 
 Never saw so many Kings* heads in my life 
 before ! and all resemble each other ! Beg- 
 gars description ! " His lordship was, in fact, 
 in an ecstacy, and whenever this was the case 
 he became almost frantic. 
 
 '* I will leave this desperately dull, gloomy, 
 cawing, croaking, misanthropic Rookery in less 
 than an hour,'' said his lordship, " but I must 
 first pay a visit to Sir Oscar, and count him 
 out 1500 of these beautiful creatures," — gazing 
 on the sovereigns as he spoke, if possible, with 
 even increased enthusiasm. 
 
 His lordship rang the bell, and asked, if Sir 
 Oscar had gone out. 
 
 " My master is in the library, my lord," 
 said the servant. 
 
 " Be good enough to inform him that I wish 
 to speak to him there, if he is disengaged ; 
 and tell my courier to have the carriage pre- 
 pared, and all ready for starting at four." 
 
 " The courier has just gone to lie down, my 
 lord; shall I disturb him ?" 
 
 Lord Swainton looked at his watch. It was 
 half past two. " Let him alone for an hour,'' 
 said his lordship, " and see you that all that is
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 193 
 
 necessary is done, that I may leave at four ;*" 
 and as he advanced to the servant he slipped a 
 sovereign into his hand, which was received 
 with many acknowledgments and much grati- 
 tude. 
 
 " You may rely upon it, my lord, that every- 
 thing shall be ready in good time. Your lord- 
 ship wishes for four post-horses, no doubt ? '* 
 
 " Oh, decidedly,'' replied Lord Swainton ; 
 " and if you wake my courier half an hour 
 before starting, that will do." 
 
 " Sir Oscar,'"* said his lordship, as he entered 
 the library, " here I am, laden with all the 
 treasures of Egypt." And producing the 1500 
 sovereigns, he laid them on the table. 
 
 " You are very obliging indeed," replied Sir 
 Oscar ; " I am sure your friend is under the 
 greatest obligation to you ; and as to myself, 
 my lord, you may count upon me at all times, 
 for I shall be truly happy to render you any 
 service in my power." 
 
 " You have just an opportunity, then, of 
 obliging me now," replied his lordship : " I 
 am rather short of * rhino' for the road, and a 
 few purchases I have to make at Bath and 
 Bristol, and I am afraid overdrawing my 
 
 VOL. I. K
 
 194 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 bankers ; perhaps you would allow me to be 
 your debtor for a hundred sovereigns ?" 
 
 " With very great pleasure, my lord," said 
 Sir Oscar ; " but are you sure that one hun- 
 dred will be sufficient ?" 
 
 " Oh yes, I think so," replied his lordship ; 
 " and I will pay them into the hands of your 
 bankers' agents in London/' 
 
 " Or, you can give me a cheque on your own 
 bankers at once, dated at such time as may be 
 agreeable to yourself." 
 
 " It would be better that no cheques passed 
 between us," replied Lord Swainton. " We 
 have hitherto done without them, and I do not 
 see any occasion for resorting to them now." 
 
 " I think your lordship is quite right," said 
 Sir Oscar; handing, with much grace and 
 cheerfulness, the 100 sovereigns to his guest. 
 
 " And now. Sir Oscar, I must prepare for 
 departure," said his lordship. " I wish to 
 reach Bath as early as I can to-morrow, and 
 the roads are heavy and hilly." 
 
 " I hope your lordship will not think of leav- 
 ing to-night ? " said Sir Oscar. 
 
 " You are too obliging," replied Lord Swain- 
 ton. " My horses are ordered, and will be 
 here at four."'
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 195 
 
 A dejeuner a la fourchette was speedily 
 served — Lord Swainton feasted with enthu- 
 siasm. He had 1300/. of his own, besides the 
 use of the 500/. for which he had given a note- 
 of-hand, on unstamped paper, to Mr. Walter. 
 The world was before him. His play debts at 
 Bath amounting to only 300 guineas, he would 
 be able to wipe off the old, and begin new 
 scores with the new season. 
 
 " I ought to have some letters of introduc- 
 tion on behalf of my friend to the Mayor and 
 Corporation of Warnstable," said his lordship ; 
 " perhaps you will have the goodness to send 
 them to me at Bath ? " 
 
 " They are all prepared," replied Sir Oscar, 
 " and here they are." They were neatly writ- 
 ten — drawn up with cold and quiet carefulness, 
 contained all that was necessary, and were cha- 
 racteristic of the writer. 
 
 " Admirable ! " cried his lordship, as he 
 opened one after the other, and read the con- 
 tents, pouring glass after glass of fine pale 
 sherry into his capacious and wide mouth, — 
 " beggars description ! A bottle of this wine 
 in the carriage would be no unpleasant com- 
 panion."
 
 196 THE TORY Bi^RONET. 
 
 " You are very good to say so,'* replied Sir 
 Oscar, who gave directions that it should be 
 done, and that the horn cup tipped with silver 
 should be put in the pocket. 
 
 " Adieu, Sir Oscar," said his lordship as he 
 ascended the carriage steps, with his gloves and 
 papers in one hand, and his money-box in the 
 other. " Any commands for Bath ? — hope 
 soon to introduce Sir Edward to you, and to 
 meet you at Warnstable." 
 
 " I shall look forward to it with much plea- 
 sure," said Sir Oscar, with rather more warmth 
 than he was accustomed to display ; and the 
 carriage drove off whilst the Italian courier 
 sprang to the rumble. 
 
 *' I am a lucky fellow, after all that 's said 
 and done," muttered his lordship in a tone 
 somewhat louder than a whisper as the carriage 
 drove out of the park gates of the Rookery ; 
 " this business has been managed admirably. 
 I have bought this seat for 2000/. and I sell 
 it to Sir Edward for 3000/. Sir Oscar ouffht 
 
 o 
 
 never to ask for that 100/. and Walter ouffht 
 
 o 
 
 to be glad to take 300/. In that case, indeed, 
 I should make 1300/. clear ; and as Sir Ed- 
 ward will most certainly not allow me to re-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 197 
 
 turn to him any part of the 300/. which he 
 placed in my hands to meet various expenses, 
 I shall be able to realise about ICOO/. out of 
 the 3300/., besides other minor benefits in con- 
 ducting the election through the agency of 
 Montague. Of this 1600/. Montague must 
 have 200/.— leaving 1400/. My Bath play 
 debts will absorb 300/. — leaving 1100/. My 
 travelling and other expenses, 100/. — leaying 
 1000/. One thousand pounds clear ! Admira- 
 ble ! — Beggars description ! And then, nothing 
 can be more fair. I bought the seat cheaply 
 because I managed well with Walter — bought 
 Lord Bourtonbury out of the market — and 
 conducted all the affair with a talent of which 
 no one else is master ! I told Sir Edward 
 it would cost him 3000/. and a like sum 
 for electioneering expenses. He made no ob- 
 jection. He shall be covered for 6000/. — 
 nothing else concerns him. If I manage it 
 on more eligible terms, so much the better for 
 myself; but this is no affair of his. Warn- 
 stable against 6000/. That is the real ques- 
 tion ; and if I can manage it for 4000/. the 
 difference is mine." 
 
 These were Lord Swainton's morals. ** The
 
 198 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 end justifies the means," was the motto of some 
 portion of his life ; and so, provided Sir Edward 
 was seated at Warnstable for 6000/., it was 
 Lord Swainton's opinion, that his friend had no 
 right to inquire how that sum should be appro- 
 priated. Indeed, he went so far as to believe, 
 that if he. Lord Swainton, could have obtained 
 the seat for 600/. instead of 6000/., the differ- 
 ence would belong to him, inasmuch as he had 
 fixed on the latter sum with Sir Edward. His 
 mode of reasoning, with respect to Mr. Walter 
 and Sir Oscar Morbleu, was equally ingenious 
 and peculiar. " If Mr. Walter had made the 
 arrangements for Lord Bourtonbury," said 
 Lord Swainton to himself, " his lordship would 
 only have given him 300/. This Walter ad- 
 mitted : and for this 300/. he must have in- 
 curred much trouble and anxiety. Whereas, 
 I shall give him 300/. for doing — nothing. 
 It 's very true that I gave him a note for 500/. 
 — but then that was done in a moment of ex- 
 citement ; — and if I pay him 300/. when his 
 note becomes due at Long's, he ought to be 
 delighted ! As to Sir Oscar, he will be the 
 most ungracious, ungrateful, ungenerous cur 
 living, if he ask for the repayment of the
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 199 
 
 100/. I just obtained from him in the shape of 
 an advance ; " and so taking a piece of paper 
 from his breast pocket, and his silver pencil- 
 case, he wrote as follows : — 
 
 Received. £ 
 
 Paid. 
 
 £ 
 
 Sir Edward . 3000 
 
 Sir Oscar 
 
 1500 
 
 For Expenses . 800 
 
 Walter . 
 
 .500 
 
 From Morbleu . 100 
 
 Expenses 
 
 100 
 
 Deduct from Walter 200 
 
 Montague must have 
 
 200 
 
 
 Further Expenses, say 
 
 JOO 
 
 3600 
 
 
 
 2400 
 
 £2400 
 
 Balance . 1200 
 Deduct Play Debts ^ 
 
 at Bath 
 
 300 
 
 Clear Balance left £ 900 
 
 " Beggars description ! Beggars descnp- 
 tion ! " exclaimed his lordship, several times, 
 as he reviewed these figures and facts, and 
 passed all the events before his mind in glorious 
 and rapid succession. " I'm saved this time 
 at any rate. A little luck at Bath, will set me 
 on my legs." 
 
 After a long night, and a dismally cold ride, 
 only enlivened by a good dinner on the road,
 
 200 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 and by oft administered glasses of the fine pale 
 sherry of Sir Oscar, which had been put in the 
 carriage, Lord Swain ton arrived at Bath. 
 
 *' I will give the York a benefit this time," 
 said his lordship, " and pay my small score of 
 20/. 2.S. 9^. I have owed the last two years. 
 These sort of paying arrangements, now and 
 then, are admirable modes of extending credit 
 hereafter. I shall quite astonish the weak 
 mind of the landlord. Beggars description ! " 
 
 His lordship drove up to the York. The 
 waiters with their master were all at the door. 
 The Italian courier descended. The former 
 had expected to see some face or family calcu- 
 lated to excite hope and pleasure ; but they 
 turned away half annoyed and but scarcely 
 civil, when " Old Beggars Description ""* made 
 his appearance. Lord Swainton perceived this 
 with sorrow, but such sorrows were not novel 
 to him, and he despatched them as quickly as 
 possible. 
 
 " Waiter — waiter " — cried his lordship, 
 as he entered the cofi*ee-room, " just ask your 
 master to change this 100/. note for me, I have 
 not enough left to pay the postillions — and 
 there 's a small affair I owe him, of 20/. that
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 201 
 
 he may as well deduct, and give me the ba- 
 lance. It entirely slipped my memory."" 
 
 " Your lordship is very good," said the 
 waiter, who knew that his master had long 
 since put this down as a bad debt ; and he 
 hastened out of the room with great rapidity. 
 
 It was nearly ten minutes before he returned 
 with many bows, and hosts of thanks from the 
 landlord, who soon afterwards made his ap- 
 pearance, and asked if his lordship purposed 
 remaining the night at the hotel, or whether he 
 would proceed to London. 
 
 " I shall remain some days,'* said his lord- 
 ship ; and then made many inquiries as to the 
 last arrivals at Bath. 
 
 *' Lord Bourtonbury's son has been stay- 
 ing here some days," said the landlord, " but 
 has left for Warnstable this morning." 
 
 " For Warnstable ! " said his lordship, with 
 great quickness and some agitation. " For 
 Warnstable, did you say ? Has his agent, 
 Mr. Walter, gone with him ? " 
 
 " He has not, my lord. Mr. Walter has gone 
 to London or to Grantham, I forget which."" 
 
 This was a piece of intelligence he could not 
 comprehend. Had Lord Bourtonbury's son 
 
 k5
 
 202 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 resolved to canvass the borough of Warnstable 
 before Sir Edward Clapperton ; and, as he was 
 defeated in his arrangements with Sir Oscar, 
 to seek to obtain the seat without making any 
 other appeal but to the electors? Was Mr. 
 Walter a party to such plans ? What was to 
 be done ? Surely Sir Oscar could not be sell- 
 ing his interest twice over, and thus attempting 
 to deceive all parties. This was impossible to 
 be believed, and yet there was no accounting 
 for this wholly unexpected movement. 
 
 " Did his lordship's son and Mr. Walter 
 appear on good terms ? " asked Lord Swainton. 
 
 " Why, I think quite the reverse, my lord. 
 The last word I heard Mr. Walter say was, 
 ' Mind, I protest against your going ; ' to 
 which his lordship's son replied, ' Who cares 
 for your protest, Mr. Walter ! '"''* 
 
 *' Ah, indeed ! indeed ! " replied his lord- 
 ship, " some mad prank of the young man, I 
 suppose. He 's quite a lad, full of fun and 
 folly ; beggars description ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! " 
 
 Lord Swainton took an early dinner, went 
 to the theatre, rooms, and tables, and lost 50/. 
 in half an hour. 
 
 " I am sorry to inform your lordship," said
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 203 
 
 the landlord of the York, as Lord Swain ton 
 returned to his hotel a little after midnight, 
 " that a fellow here, named Dickins, who has 
 some pretended claim on your lordship, has had 
 the impertinence to obtain an execution against 
 your lordship's carriage for 17/. and a few odd 
 shillings. The execution was issued a few days 
 since against some books of your lordship's, 
 deposited long ago, by your lordship, with 
 Mr. Smith, in Bond Street Buildings; but 
 Mr. Smith claimed more than the value of the 
 books for rent and so forth ; and, as the officer 
 saw your lordship stepping out of your car- 
 riage this afternoon, he asked your Italian 
 courier if this was your lordship's carriage ? ""' 
 
 " Well, and what did the fellow answer?"" 
 asked Lord Swainton. 
 
 " He said, certainly, it was the carriage of 
 your lordship." 
 
 "Ass! fool! beast! foreign scoundrel! liar! 
 that he is ! " exclaimed Lord Swainton, in a 
 thundering passion. " It is not my carriage, 
 never was, and never will be. But what 
 then.?" 
 
 " Why, my lord, the carriage has been 
 seized, and cannot go out of my yard until
 
 204 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 either the pretended debt be paid, or until it 
 be decided that the carriage is not your lord- 
 ship's." 
 
 " What is best to be done ? " asked his lord- 
 ship. 
 
 " Either employ an attorney to-morrow 
 morning," replied the landlord, " and bring an 
 action against the sheriff in the name of the 
 proprietor of the carriage for illegal seizure, or 
 else pay the debt and costs." 
 
 *' The carriage is not mine," said his lord- 
 ship ; " but if the scoundrel, who has made 
 the seizure, will take lOL and give a receipt 
 in full of all demands, I will give him that 
 amount on his withdrawing the seizure.'"' 
 
 " I will see about it in the morning," re- 
 plied the landlord, who made his bow and 
 withdrew. 
 
 " An unlucky afternoon, this,"" thought Lord 
 Swainton. " Twenty pounds gone to that fel- 
 low, for the old bill I owed at this hotel ; 
 now at least ten more for this Fi-fa affair; 
 and young Bourtonbury on his road to Warn- 
 stable ! What 's best to be done ? First of all, 
 not to plague myself any more about the 20/. ; 
 second, to get rid of this carriage business,
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 205 
 
 and of the carriage too, as quickly as possible, 
 or it will be seized again by some other rascally 
 creditor ; and thirdly, set off to Warnstable, 
 and watch all the movements of this young 
 scamp of a fellow, who has doubtless gone 
 there of his own accord, to see how the land 
 lies, and, perhaps, to make a disclosure of 
 Sir Oscar's intentions." 
 
 " Let the carriage and two pair of horses be 
 at the door at nine precisely to-morrow morn- 
 ing,"" said his lordship to his courier, who 
 came for instructions for the next day. The 
 landlord of the York had kept the whole 
 affair of the seizure a secret, so that the 
 Italian courier had no idea of what had trans- 
 pired. 
 
 Lord Swainton was no idler. Though it 
 was nearly one in the morning, and he had 
 travelled the whole of the previous cold night 
 from the Rookery to Bath, he sat down and 
 wrote letters. He wrote to Sir Felix Monta- 
 gue, to Scrope, to his daughters, who were 
 dispersed over the country, and to Sir Edward, 
 as well as to Sir Oscar Morbleu. The letter 
 to Sir P^dward was as follows : —
 
 206 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " My dear Sir Edward, 
 
 " Here I am at Bath, with all the papers 
 in regular order, and ready for our parlia- 
 mentary campaign. On my arrival here, how- 
 ever, I have learned something which has an- 
 noyed me, and which compels me, though 
 cold, wearied, and worn out, to return to 
 Warnstable. A young man, the son of Lord 
 Bourtonbury, has gone down thither to can- 
 vass the electors, contrary to the will of his 
 father and to the advice of his agent. As 
 he only left twelve hours since, I shall be 
 on the spot before him ; and, should it become 
 necessary, am en mesure to take, in your 
 behalf, through some respectable borough 
 agent there, all the measures which may be 
 desirable. Do not leave Clapham Hall, even 
 for an hour, without leaving word where you 
 may be found, unless indeed you prefer 
 proceeding at once to Bath and waiting for 
 me at Milsom Street. In that event, you 
 will be prepared with gold to meet all the 
 expenses of the election. Write me by return 
 of post at the post office, Warnstable, under 
 the feigned name of William Gurney, Esq., 
 as I shall keep myself perfectly incog, unless
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 207 
 
 the young boy who has gone thither should 
 have really commenced a canvass, and, in 
 that event, I shall crush his hopes at once, 
 with my name, my purse, and my energy. 
 Your seat is safe. Place me, where I should 
 be, at the feet of the ladies, and believe me 
 that I am, as ever, 
 
 " Yours faithfully, 
 
 " SWAINTON," 
 
 The next morning, the affair of the carriage 
 could not be settled without the payment of 
 twelve pounds, but for which sum the Fi-fa 
 was discharged, and his lordship, and his 
 courier returned by the same road on which 
 they had travelled the previous day, and ar- 
 rived on the following at Warnstable. 
 
 As the carriage drove up to the door of 
 the best inn in the borough, Lord Swainton 
 perceived a young man, whom he recognised 
 as Lord Bourtonbury"'s eldest son, in earnest 
 conversation with the landlord. 
 
 " The Whigs have no chances here," said 
 the landlord, as he turned off from the young 
 Whigling to address himself to the new comer. 
 
 "You have a comfortable bed-room and
 
 208 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 good sitting-room to spare, no doubt ?" said his 
 lordship to the landlord. 
 
 " I have both at your service," replied 
 the delighted host, who was embarrassed to 
 know how it was that carriages-and-four 
 should be arriving so rapidly at Warnstable. 
 
 His lordship directed his courier not to 
 give his name, but to state that he was a Mr. 
 Gurney, a gentleman of large fortune in the 
 north of England ; and then walked about 
 the borough. He examined all the public 
 and private buildings, talked with the poorer 
 and middHng classes, found no one prepared 
 for a new election, but every one believing that 
 ere long there would be a general election 
 all over the country. With many the wish 
 was father to the thought, but some of the 
 more intelligent people apprehended that affairs 
 in France might terminate badly. 
 
 " And who are your present members ? " 
 asked Lord Swainton of the landlord as he 
 brought in the ox-tail soup in a silver tureen, 
 with a damask napkin under his arm. 
 
 " Sir Oscar Morbleu is our principal mem- 
 ber," replied the landlord ; " and Mr. Pat- 
 terson is the other."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 209 
 
 " Is Mr. Patterson the Whig ? " asked his 
 lordship. 
 
 "He is so," answered the landlord, "but he 
 will never be elected again ; and yet there is a 
 young gentleman here, who is the son of a 
 Whig lord whose name shall be nameless — " 
 
 " Oh, I know who he is," interrupted his 
 lordship ; " the son of Lord Bourtonbury.'* 
 
 " Well he will have it, that another Whig 
 candidate, in the event of a general election, 
 would be successful." 
 
 " But there is no chance of a general election 
 for the present at any rate,*" replied Lord 
 Swain ton. 
 
 " No, I think not," said the landlord ; " and 
 I have said as much to the young gentleman 
 you saw me talking to. But he has got hold 
 of some cock-and-a-bull story of Sir Oscar 
 being about to resign. I told him he knew 
 very little, I thought, of our provincial news, 
 for that certainly if Sir Oscar had any such 
 intentions he would have made them known 
 to me before any man in the borough." 
 
 " And what has Lord Bourtonbury's son 
 to do here, do you suppose? " 
 
 " Oh, I have no idea," replied the landlord ;
 
 210 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " I presume he is going on. He travels alone, 
 and without a servant, and told me just now 
 that Warnstable was a very dull place, and 
 that he should leave in the morning.*" 
 
 "Ah, indeed!" remarked Lord Swainton. 
 " Did he say whither he was going?" 
 
 " No, he did not ; but he asked me how 
 far it was to Exeter." 
 
 " I should like to know which road he 
 takes," said his lordship, merely as a matter 
 of idle curiosity. " It is an odd season of 
 the year to be travelling about for pleasure." i 
 
 " It is rather so, indeed," replied the land- 
 lord, and then left the room. 
 
 When he returned with the fish his lordship 
 asked " if Sir Oscar Morbleu had much in- 
 fluence in the borough." 
 
 " Very much indeed," replied his tenant, 
 for such was the landlord of the inn ; " and 
 I flatter myself that I have some small influ- 
 ence too ; but I would rather lose my life than 
 vote for a Whig or any of their creatures." 
 
 "You are right," said his lordship, '* though 
 you run some risk of losing your travellers if 
 you always give your opinion so freely.'' 
 
 *' I have the honour to know to whom I am
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 211 
 
 addressing myself," said the landlord. " Your 
 lordship does not remember me." 
 
 " Indeed I do not," said his lordship, " and 
 I think you are mistaken in your man." 
 
 " I think not. Lord Swainton," retorted the 
 landlord. " Does your lordship remember 
 Sam Pocock, who lived with your mother-in- 
 law as coachman ten years, and who left her 
 service on account of ill health to return to 
 his native place .? " 
 
 " To be sure I do," said his lordship ; " and 
 are you Sam ? " 
 
 " I am, indeed," replied the landlord ; " I 
 came down here — my father died and left me 
 200/. — I was patronized by the clergy, Tory 
 nobility, and gentry, and especially by Sir 
 Oscar, who lent me 300/. on the strength of 
 my family's good character; and twenty-two 
 years ago, next March, I became the tenant of 
 this inn. I have been here ever since — never 
 had a day's illness — have long since paid oft* 
 my loans and debts, and have now a few thou- 
 sands in the Consols, and some property in 
 this town; all of which is at the service of 
 the Tory cause, which is as dear to me as 
 my own life. Church and King for ever is
 
 212 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 my motto ; and no Whigs or Whiglings have 
 any chances with me." 
 
 " That 's capital/' said his lordship ; " as 
 good as this sherry of yours ; of which I hope 
 you will do me the pleasure, Pocock, to take a 
 glass, and wish ' success to the Tory cause 
 in Warnstable.' " 
 
 " With all my heart, my lord,*' said the 
 landlord ; and as his lordship insisted on his 
 taking a seat, he recounted to him all the mi- 
 nute details of his private fortunes. 
 
 " And now I will tell i/ou a secret, Pocock,"" 
 said his lordship. " You are an honest man, 
 a true Tory, an old servant in our family, 
 and can be relied on, — read those papers;" 
 pulling out of his pocket one after the other 
 those prepared at Sir Oscar Morbleu*s. 
 
 The landlord read them over and over again. 
 " You astonish me, my lord,"*" said the land- 
 lord ; " but as that is the case you may com- 
 mand my services in any way you think fit, 
 since of course your candidate is a Tory." 
 
 " To the backbone," said his lordship. 
 
 " All right," replied the landlord ; " but his 
 name ? "" 
 
 " Sir Edward Clapperton, — a man of good
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 213 
 
 family, excellent connexions, first-rate for- 
 tune, fine generous fellow, and all that sort 
 of thing." 
 
 " Very good, very good," said the landlord ; 
 and then his lordship explained to him the 
 line of conduct he proposed to adopt, viz., that 
 of having the writ moved for on the same day 
 as Sir Oscar's resignation and Sir Edward's 
 address should be circulated at Warnstable. 
 
 "Will you be his agent ?" asked his lordship. 
 
 " Not myself, but my son," replied the 
 landlord ; " and if 1500/. be judiciously spent, 
 the election this time is sure." 
 
 Discouraged by his visit to Warnstable Lord 
 Bourtonbury's son set off early the next morn- 
 ing to Exeter to visit some relatives, and Lord 
 Swainton resolved on remaining a day or two 
 until he should hear from Sir Edward, in 
 order to complete the arrangements he had 
 partially made. With those arrangements he 
 was well pleased, but he was yet more con- 
 vinced than ever ; firstly, that Sir Edward's 
 seat was sure ; and secondly, that he, Lord 
 Swainton, might save at least another thousand 
 pounds for himself out of the election expenses. 
 Glorious prospect ! vast consolation !
 
 214 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 O speak, if voice thou hast ! 
 
 Tell me what sacrifice can soothe your spirits ? 
 
 Shakspeare. 
 
 The Clappertons had made all their visits 
 of ceremony — returned the few fashionable 
 calls of the neighbouring gentry, arranged their 
 affairs of menage, locked up all their valuables, 
 deposited their papers and documents in the 
 great chest at the bankers', and put Clapham 
 Hall on board wages, previously to their de- 
 parture for Bath, when Sir Edward received 
 by post, at eleven in the morning, the letter 
 from Lord Swainton, which announced that the 
 son of the old Whig, Lord Bourtonbury, had 
 set off for Warnstable. The first impression 
 produced by this letter was rather a painful 
 one. Sir Edward thought of his 3000/., which 
 though not ruinous, was still a very consider-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 215 
 
 able sum ; and although he had made up his 
 mind to expend 6000/. rather than not obtain 
 his seat, he did hope there would be no oppo- 
 sition to his return, and in that case that a 
 small portion only of the second 3000/. would be 
 required. He had looked on 6000/. as the max- 
 imum, and about 4000/. as the minimum. In 
 fact, he was a novice in electioneering matters, 
 and very little acquainted with the worthy and 
 independent burgesses of Warnstable. He had 
 a sort of confused idea that the 3000/. he had 
 already transmitted would find its way partly 
 into Sir Oscar's, and partly into the electors' 
 pockets ; how or in what way he knew not ; 
 and that the rest of the expenses he would 
 have to discharge would be only for taverns, 
 — treating, — an election ball, or something or 
 other in the form of a banquet to his consti- 
 tuents, after the whole was over, unless, indeed, 
 some Whig rival should appear on the field, 
 and then he was fully prepared to incur ex- 
 penses to the full extent of the extra 3000/. 
 Now, injustice to Lord Swainton, it must be 
 admitted that these inaccurate notions of Sir 
 Edward were not the result either of conceal- 
 ment, fraud, or mis-statement on the part of
 
 216 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 the former ; but were simply the result of Sir 
 Edward's real ignorance of election matters, 
 and an unwillingness on his part to make in- 
 quiries of his lordship, lest on the one hand 
 his ignorance should be thus betrayed, and 
 on the other his lordship should think him 
 distrustful of his vast powers of arrange- 
 ment, or of his most honourable and most 
 friendly intentions. But now that the 3000/. 
 were paid, and yet Lord Bourtonbury's son 
 had started for Warnstable, thereby proving 
 that the secret of Sir Oscar's intentions to re- 
 sign had not been kept, Sir Edward began to 
 perceive that whether he succeeded or not, he 
 would probably have to lose his 6000/., and 
 that it was no longer of any use to conceal 
 from himself that even the whole of that sum 
 would be required. 
 
 Sir Edward talked over these matters confi- 
 dentially with his sisters, who reminded him that 
 a debt, long since due, from Sir Morgan O'Flim- 
 well, about the payment of which the family had 
 entertained serious doubts for several years, 
 had been lately received from India, amounting 
 to 5000/. so that in fact even should the whole 
 of the 6000/. be expended on the contested elec-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 217 
 
 tion, it would only be 1000/. in addition to 
 what they had long looked on as a bad debt. 
 This way of regarding the matter was exceed- 
 ingly consolatory to Sir Edward, especially as 
 Lord Swainton had re-assured him, even in his 
 last letter, that his election was quite sure. 
 
 Notwithstanding, however, these cheering 
 prospects, it was resolved in solemn conclave 
 by Sir Edward and the Miss Clappertons, that 
 the former should write a letter to Lord Swain- 
 ton, full of expressions of gratitude and con- 
 fidence : but at the same time hinting that it 
 would afford him great pleasure to learn that 
 there would be no contest, as, in that case, the 
 additional expenses would probably not amount 
 to more than 1000/. instead of 2000/. 
 
 After making some half-dozen draughts of 
 letters, and writing no fewer than three copies, 
 to meet the still further prudential suggestions 
 of the eldest Miss Clapperton, the following 
 was the document agreed upon, which was 
 then duly despatched to Warnstable, directed, 
 as desired, to William Gurney, Esq. Post Office. 
 
 *' My very dear Lord, 
 
 " How can I thank you sufficiently for all 
 
 VOL. I. L
 
 218 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 your kindness? I have racked my brain in 
 vain for suitable expressions. My sisters have 
 done the same ; but the result is to avow our 
 perfect consciousness that there are not words 
 in our language sufficiently forcible to express 
 all our gratitude and admiration. My sisters 
 insist upon my saying ' nous sommes vraiment 
 accablisJ They think this is the strongest 
 phrase they can aid me in composing ; and yet, 
 still we all feel its weakness. 
 
 " That you should have returned so instan- 
 taneously to Warnstable, has also filled us 
 with surprise and delight. I am of course 
 unable to understand the position of parties in 
 the borough in question, and know nothing of 
 the chances of a Whig opponent, though I 
 cannot help hoping that no opposition will 
 take place, and that then the second 3000/. 
 will not be required, or, at least, but a small 
 portion of it. If an opposition should occur, 
 I shall of course be prepared at Bath, as your 
 lordship suggests, with 3000 more sovereigns ; 
 but we will still hope that your lordship's zeal, 
 talents, energies, and promptitude, may render 
 that expenditure unnecessary. We shall leave 
 to-morrow morning for Bath, so that my ad-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 219 
 
 dress will be Milsom Street, where I hope in- 
 deed soon to receive you in person, and where 
 my sisters anticipate much delight from your 
 very agreeable society and conversation. 
 
 " Renewing my assurances of unbounded 
 esteem and gratitude, I am, my dear lord, 
 " Your obliged and faithful, 
 
 " E. Clapperton." 
 
 As Sir Edward resolved on having his horses 
 conducted down to Bath by his grooms, he 
 and his sisters travelled post. In the first 
 carriage, which was the old family dark yellow 
 coach were Sir Edward, the two Miss Clap- 
 pertons, and Miss Lucy Dawson, the very 
 pretty daughter of Colonel Dawson. The 
 Colonel, who had been wounded at Waterloo, 
 with his family, belonged to both societies at 
 Clapham ; they visited the citizens and the 
 squires, and were equally beloved by both. 
 Miss Lucy Dawson was a fine-spirited girl, 
 full of life, energy, warmth of character, 
 and feeling. She had received an admirable 
 education, but, unfortunately for herself, had 
 but a very small fortune. She played well, 
 danced well, walked well, talked well, looked 
 
 l2
 
 220 THE TORY EARONET. 
 
 well, felt well, and thought well, and was 
 only twenty-one. In a drawing-room she was 
 a picture. She was always admired. Every 
 one who knew her not, immediately inquired of 
 his neighbour " who was that beautiful crea- 
 ture?" and every one " was sorry to hear that 
 she had nothing." Lucy was fully aware of 
 her position, but it produced no unpleasing 
 effect upon her character. She was neither 
 jealous of others who were wealthy, nor stu- 
 dious to make herself agreeable because she 
 was poor. She never affected indifference to 
 men's society, nor an aversion to marriage, 
 which she did not feel. The motto of her 
 heart was, ^^ mon heure viendra."" She was of 
 a lively and amiable disposition. The Miss 
 Clappertons were much attached to her, Sir 
 Edward thought her a very agreeable person, 
 "but she was not the style of beauty he ad- 
 mired ;'" and though he danced with her in 
 preference to any other of the belles of Clap- 
 ham, he never felt that his heart had prompted 
 this selection. Lucy's health always suffered, 
 during winter, for her chest was rather deli- 
 cate, and cold weather severely affected her. 
 The Miss Clappertons had prevailed on Colonel
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 221 
 
 and Mrs. Dawson to allow their daughter to 
 accompany them to Bath, as their guest dur- 
 ing their winter sojourn, and the Colonel felt 
 the less hesitation in acceding to their request, 
 as the Miss Clappertons were known to be 
 remarkably steady girls, and as there was an 
 impression at Clapham that Sir Edward was 
 engaged to a rich heiress ; though who she 
 was, or where she resided, no one could tell. 
 Had not this opinion been generally enter- 
 tained, and had not the Miss Clappertons been 
 highly esteemed for their prudence, the Colonel 
 was the last man in the world to have allowed 
 any protracted visit, on the part of his daugh- 
 ter, to a family, the head of which was a young 
 and wealthy bachelor. 
 
 With light and happy hearts the party 
 ascended the carriage steps to proceed to Bath, 
 and in the new green post chariot, from 
 Adams's, were the two ladies*-maids, with the 
 favourite Italian greyhound of their younger 
 mistress. There were the adequate number 
 of men-servants outside each carriage, and the 
 whole procession had the gay appearance of 
 a wedding. Sir Edward was in excellent 
 spirits — all the guide-books imaginable were
 
 222 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 on the seats or in the pockets of the carriage ; 
 Theodore Hook's " Sayings and Doings," were 
 likewise there, to chase away ennui, should 
 such a monster dare to intrude even for a 
 second. A traveUing pocket chess-board, two 
 small solitaires, and a new puzzle, formed 
 also part of the inside baggage of this joyous 
 company, as with health, wealth, and good- 
 humour, they proceeded on their road. 
 
 " Come, keep up your courage," said Sir 
 Edward to Miss Lucy, when they crossed the 
 once famous heath of Hounslow ; " this was 
 the scene of the exploits of Ned Halloran ; 
 and who can say we may not meet such 
 another ? " 
 
 " Ned Halloran," replied Miss Lucy, " why, 
 who was Ned Halloran ? " 
 
 " Ask my sisters," said Sir Edward ; " his 
 story was a favourite of our poor dear father." 
 
 " Oh ! pray tell it me then," exclaimed the 
 pretty voyageuse ; and Miss Clapperton the 
 elder became the spokeswoman. 
 
 " Well, Ned Halloran, my dear, was a high- 
 wayman, and one well-known for infesting 
 this heath ; a great collector, as he was styled, 
 a perfect Macheath, surrounded by the worst
 
 THE TORY BARONET. S2o 
 
 of female society, to whose vices and extra- 
 vagance he contributed all his hard earnings, 
 until he was ultimately betrayed by a fa- 
 vourite Dulcinea del Toboso, and received sen- 
 tence of death, which punishment was com- 
 muted to transportation for life. Ned Hal- 
 loran, possessed principles that would have 
 reflected credit on a better cause, and acted up 
 to the strictest rule of honour in every pri- 
 vate transaction of his life ; he could not, how- 
 ever, be convinced that he had been guilty 
 of a crime, in taking from those persons who 
 possessed property, in order to relieve himself, 
 who had none. Such was the character of 
 this robber. Well, you know Maria Cather- 
 wood, my dear?" 
 
 '* Yes," replied Lucy, " I met her once 
 at your house, and thought her the most 
 lovely creature I ever saw." 
 
 " Indeed, she is very pretty," said Sir Ed- 
 ward. 
 
 " Well, then," continued Miss Clapperton, 
 " upon one of Ned Halloran's collecting days, 
 on this very heath we are now crossing, he 
 stopped Maria's maternal great uncle, a gold- 
 smith and refiner, a man of considerable pro-
 
 224! THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 perty and importance in the City of London. 
 Ned Halloran took from him, without any 
 resistance on his part, his cash, gold watch, 
 chain, and seals, and also his silver knee and 
 shoe-buckles, and then very politely wished 
 the goldsmith a good morning. The high- 
 wayman, thinking all was right and safe, after 
 a short circuitous route on the heath, put up 
 his horse at an inn to take refreshment. His 
 repast being ended, just as he was ready to 
 mount his horse, the goldsmith rode into the 
 yard, but did not recognize him. Halloran 
 left the inn without the slightest agitation, 
 and in the course of a few days offered the 
 above stolen articles for sale at the goldsmith's 
 own counter. The latter looked up at Hal- 
 loran, without betraying any appearance of 
 his recollecting the man who had robbed him 
 on Hounslow Heath ; ' These are my goods,' 
 said he. ' Who made them yours ? ' asked 
 Halloran. ' The same person that made them 
 vours,' replied the refiner. ' Explain,' exclaim- 
 ed Halloran. ' Yourself, then," retorted the 
 goldsmith. 'How is that?' asked Halloran, 
 with imperturbable assurance. ' Did you not 
 make them yours by robbing me of them on
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 225 
 
 Hounslow Heath ? and now have yoa not 
 made them mine by bringing them back to 
 me ?' Halloran took to his heels, and the 
 goldsmith never saw him again." 
 
 "Oh! that's very amusing/' said Lucy. 
 " Do you know any more tales of the high- 
 wayman ?" 
 
 " Yes," replied Charlotte ; " on another oc- 
 casion, he robbed of a valuable lot of jewellery 
 a person, who was what the thieves term a 
 fence, that is, a receiver of stolen goods ; and 
 afterwards, to his astonishment, found that he 
 was offering them for sale to the very man he 
 had robbed. But the receiver of stolen goods, 
 with the utmost coolness and in a business-like 
 manner, paid him the worth of them, and Hal- 
 loran retired from the shop in safety. This 
 is easily accounted for ; as the jeweller was a 
 refiner, and melted down goods as soon as they 
 were brought to him by thieves. Ned must 
 have been directed to his shop by some of 
 his own fraternity ; and therefore the refiner 
 pocketed the aflront, fearing that, if any in- 
 quiries had been made into the subject, his 
 own iniquitous practices would be discovered. 
 It is a positive fact that this jeweller and re-
 
 226 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 liner, in a few years after this transaction, put 
 a period to his existence to avoid the disgrace 
 of a public trial for forging the Goldsmith's 
 Company's mark, to pass the articles he sold 
 as gold." 
 
 " Oh ! that is an amusing story," said Lucy. 
 
 " Well," said Sir Edward, " here we are 
 at Cranford Bridge, and yonder is Cranford 
 Park, once the residence of the famous Colonel 
 Berkeley, now Lord Seagrave." 
 
 *' He deserves to be a lord," said Lucy ; 
 " for his conduct to his brother the present 
 Earl of Berkeley was truly noble." 
 
 " Road to Bushy," exclaimed the younger 
 Miss Clapperton, looking towards a sign-post. 
 " Who was it lived at Bushy ? I quite forget." 
 
 " Why, Mrs. Jordan, to be sure," said Lucy. 
 
 * In Cora sweetly did she play her part. 
 
 No word, no action was with her at strife ; 
 
 Her feelings flow'd spontaneous from the heart, 
 
 The anxious mother and the tender wife.' " 
 
 *' She was before our time," said Sir Ed- 
 ward; "but my father used to talk of her 
 talents in the part of ' Peggy,' as well as in 
 that of ' Pickle. '
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 2"27 
 
 ' Her virtues many, seek not her faults to view ; 
 Whate'ei they were, they 're buried in her bier. 
 This humble tribute to her merit 's due, 
 And mem'ry still will give her name — a tear.' " 
 
 " Oh ! we are getting quite poetic," exclaim- 
 ed the younger Miss Clapperton. 
 
 "And I quite hungry," said Sir Edward; 
 and soon afterwards they all stopped at Salt 
 Hill. 
 
 " The best luncheon you can put upon the 
 table," said Sir Edward, as the landlord smiled 
 with satisfaction and complacency. 
 
 " You shall have the best the house can 
 afford, my lord." 
 
 " No, not ' my lord' yet," said Sir Edward ; 
 " but simply Sir Edward Clapperton." 
 
 " I beg your pardon," replied the landlord. 
 " I mistook you. Sir Edward, for the young 
 Duke of Dunster, whom I have been expect- 
 ing some days past on his way to Bath, and 
 who generally honours me by spending the 
 night here. We have admirable beds, Sir Ed- 
 ward; all of down. Beautiful ride to Eton 
 and Windsor. Would you like to choose your 
 bed-rooms, ladies?" 
 
 " Oh ! no," said Sir Edward, " we must
 
 228 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 reach Bath to-night. My Lord Swainton will, 
 perhaps, be expecting me ; and it is not agree- 
 able, at this season of the year, to sleep at 
 hotels, even though as well aired and venti- 
 lated as yours."" 
 
 As the landlord was disappointed in one 
 part of his expectations, he resolved to obey 
 to the letter Sir Edward's orders respecting 
 the luncheon ; and soup, fillets of sole and 
 salmon, hot and cold game, pastry, and every 
 imaginable luxury, made the table groan and 
 the ladies smile. 
 
 The landlord praised his champagne and 
 hermitage ; his good things were then all tasted, 
 and all approved. 
 
 After Sir Edward had paid the bill, the 
 amount of which w^e will not state, the party 
 quitted Salt Hill with some regret, for civility 
 and warmth, an admirable larder and the 
 best imaginable wines, are by no means to be 
 despised in wintry weather, on the road even 
 to — Bath. 
 
 After luncheon, came gaming, but gaming 
 on a very small scale ; chess for a shilling, 
 and solitaire for sixpence. Lucy won all. She
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 229 
 
 checkmated Sir Edward, and took all the ivory 
 pegs off the solitaire board but one. 
 
 As the day grew dusk and the sky grey, 
 they reached Hungerford. 
 
 " I know not precisely its position," said 
 Sir Edward, " but in this very neighbourhood 
 Ramsbury Manor-house is situated, the man- 
 sion of Sir Francis Burdett, whose whole 
 life has been devoted to one favourite scheme, 
 " Reform of parliament." 
 
 " Sir Francis Burdett ! " cried Miss Clap* 
 perton ; " why, dear Edward, is he not a 
 radical?" 
 
 " Upon my word, I know not," replied Sir 
 Edward ; " but, at least, he always votes with 
 them on that one question of reform. There 
 are some who think that, if once he could 
 obtain the object he contends for, there would 
 not be a stauncher conservative in the empire. 
 One thing is certain, he is one of the best 
 scholars in the country, and is a man of large 
 fortune and ancient family." 
 
 " And yet a radical ? " asked Lucy, who 
 did not profess, however, to be very great in 
 politics.
 
 230 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " That would seem impossible," said Miss 
 Clapperton. " A radical is, I believe, one 
 who, having nothing, wishes to subvert every- 
 thing, that he may profit by a scramble. Sir 
 Francis Burdett can have no wish for that 
 state of things. He would be a loser, and not 
 a gainer, by the establishment of such prin- 
 ciples." 
 
 " You are quite right,'' remarked Sir Ed- 
 ward. " Sir Francis Burdett may have some 
 peculiar notions as to representation, and some 
 theoretical notions as to reform, but he is 
 no leveller.'' 
 
 " Would you like to take a glass of Hunger- 
 ford beer, sir ?'' asked the waiter at the inn, 
 whilst horses were changing. 
 
 '* By all means ; its fame is extensive, and, 
 though I am no lover of malt liquor, yet I 
 like to encourage the staple trade of the 
 place." 
 
 The foaming tankard was handed round. 
 One said " the beer was delicious,'* another 
 pronounced it to be " exquisite," a third 
 " quite as good as champagne," and Sir Ed- 
 ward himself summed up all by saying, that
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 231 
 
 even Sir Charles Stilton never brewed better 
 at Still Hill. 
 
 *' It is moonlight," said Sir Edward, " and 
 the night is clear ; we are remarkably for- 
 tunate." 
 
 " Oh, I have just seen a ghost !" exclaimed 
 Miss Lucy, as they arrived at Cherrill ; " I 
 am sure it was a ghost. It resembled a horse, 
 an immense white horse riding in the sky. 
 I never beheld anything so extraordinary in 
 my life before. It appeared to be travelling 
 in the sky in the same direction as we are 
 going." 
 
 " Let me see this ghost, too,'" said Sir Ed- 
 ward, as he let down the window, and reached 
 his head out as far as he could without dis- 
 turbing the ladies. 
 
 " Well, true enough, it is a ghost, or some- 
 thing like it," replied Sir Edward ; and, calling 
 to the coachman, he directed him to order the 
 postboys " to pull up," that they might exa- 
 mine the mystery. 
 
 "What's that figure?'' asked Sir Edward 
 of the post lads. 
 
 " Oh, it 's only the white horse cut out on
 
 232 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 the hill side," replied one of the amused 
 drivers ; and the anxieties of the party were 
 relieved . 
 
 " How annoying ! " said Lucy. " I wish it 
 had been a ghost. I am so fond of ghosts, that 
 is, of ghost stories. Do you know a good 
 ghost story. Sir Edward ?" 
 
 " I think I do,'' he replied. 
 
 " Oh ! pray tell it, then ; it will be so de- 
 lightful to hear a good ghost story whilst tra- 
 velling." 
 
 " But it is quite true," said Sir Edward. 
 
 " So much the better," replied Lucy, who 
 implored him to begin at once. 
 
 Sir Edward was too obliging to be implored 
 in vain, and he related the following facts. 
 
 " Once upon a time, and that time was 
 not many years since, there lived in a village 
 in the north of England, where the Wesleyans 
 are abundant and Methodism is prosperous, 
 an old lady and gentleman of that denomi- 
 nation, who were distinguished for their piety 
 and worth. In the district in which they re- 
 sided they were, as far as worldly circum- 
 stances were concerned, the most respectable 
 of the body, and they were in the habit of
 
 THE TORY BARONET. ^33 
 
 receiving at their pretty cottage the preachers, 
 to spend the Saturday night, the whole of 
 Sunday, giving them an early breakfast, and 
 bidding them God speed, as they return- 
 ed over the hills to head-quarters on Mon- 
 day. The travelling preachers in the cir- 
 cuit used to take it by turns to visit this 
 village, and there was no other house so much 
 approved. The old lady and gentleman had 
 a faithful servant, a female named Mary Cook- 
 son, a Wesleyan, and she was highly respected 
 in their society for her faith and good works. 
 Mr. West, one of the travelling preachers, on 
 arriving in his turn at the residence of the 
 old gentleman and lady, found to his surprise 
 all the inner shutters shut, or the blinds drawn 
 down, and knocked at the door with some 
 anxiety. 
 
 " Mary opened it. She looked dejected 
 but not overwhelmed, cast down but not in 
 despair. 
 
 " ' I fear something is the matter ?' said 
 Mr. West. 
 
 " ' Yes, sir,* replied Mary. ' My poor, dear 
 master and mistress are both dead ; one died 
 within an hour of the other, — but your
 
 J234t THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 room is all ready, sir, your supper all pre- 
 pared ; — they left word on what text they 
 wished you to preach to-morrow evening to 
 the congregation, and they gave orders that 
 they should be buried at the parish church 
 next Tuesday.' 
 
 " ' I am deeply grieved,' replied Mr. West ; 
 and he wept like a child. 
 
 " ' Oh, they have been to see me,' said Mary, 
 'several times; they come every day, they 
 are very good to me ; they told me they loved 
 me quite as much now as ever they did, and 
 they bade me make myself happy for that 
 I was well provided for. I have got a friend 
 of mine to write to the last address of their 
 terribly wicked son-in-law, who I expect will 
 come down to hunt after the will. I do not 
 know where it is, but my poor master and 
 mistress have hidden it somewhere, and con- 
 fided the secret of its hiding-place to an old 
 gentleman, a friend of theirs who died of an 
 apoplectic fit the very night following the 
 morning when they died ; so that no one now 
 knows where the will is. Their poor daugh- 
 ter died broken-hearted long since ; but left
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 235 
 
 three charming children, all of whom are pro- 
 vided for by the will/ 
 
 " ' I do not think there can be any difficulty 
 about the will, Mary,' replied Mr. West ; ' for 
 doubtless, you know the name of the lawyer 
 who prepared it, and therefore the draught 
 of it would be found amongst his papers.' 
 
 ''' That also is very unfortunate,' said Mary ; 
 ' I know who it was that prepared the will, 
 but about a year ago his house and office 
 were burnt down, and with it the copy of 
 the will he had, and some important deeds 
 likewise of my master and mistress. I have 
 been praying very much about this matter,' 
 added Mary ; ' and I feel little doubt that 
 some light will be thrown upon it. I have 
 heard a great deal of knocking in and about 
 the room in which you are going to sleep, 
 sir ; and I have looked in every direction, 
 but I am rather hard of hearing, and to-day 
 the knocking has ceased. I wish it may begin 
 again whilst you are here, sir, perhaps you 
 would then be able to find all out.* 
 
 '' Mr. West, though a most excellent man, 
 found it rather difficult to say amen to this
 
 236 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 wish of poor Mary, but still he did say, ' that 
 though he had no desire to see a ghost, he by 
 no means wholly disbelieved in them, and was 
 quite willing to leave himself in the hands of 
 Providence.' 
 
 "After partaking of his supper, and gazing 
 on the icy cold faces of his beloved but de- 
 parted friends, Mr. West took leave of Mary 
 and retired to his room. He only asked for 
 a candle, that he might not be without a light 
 in case of any extraordinary visit, and after 
 recommending both body and soul to the pro- 
 tection of the Divine Being, he went to sleep. 
 No noise disturbed him. He slept well all 
 night, and in the morning he could not help 
 thinking, though he did not say as much 
 to poor Mary, that the noises she had spoken 
 of were imaginary. 
 
 ''That day, Sunday, he preached as his 
 departed friends had desired Mary to request 
 he would do, viz. in the morning from the 
 text on which he had resolved to preach before 
 he arrived ; but in the evening from that which 
 they had selected as the basis of a funeral 
 sermon for themselves. The con^reo^ation in 
 the evening was greater than ever before
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 237 
 
 known, so much were the old gentleman and 
 lady respected ; and many members of the 
 National Church paid this tribute of respect 
 to their memory. 
 
 "'Well Mary,' said Mr. West after the 
 evening's service, *have you any further clue 
 to the will ? as — ' 
 
 " ' Oh yes,' she replied ; ' master and mistress 
 came to see me again, sir, this afternoon, when 
 you were out visiting your friends. I did 
 not like to say anything to you about it this 
 evening before you had preached, sir, for 
 fear of its disturbing your mind; but both 
 master and mistress pointed to the cupboard 
 in your room.' 
 
 " Nothing daunted, good Mr. West asked 
 for a candle, and together they examined, 
 looked, scrutinised closely, and knocked the 
 boards and the wainscoting ; but all to no 
 avail. There was nothing to indicate the small- 
 est difference between one part of the cup- 
 board and another, and Mr. West again 
 thought that poor Mary was either highly 
 nervous, or given to dreaming. 
 
 " ' I have had a letter, too, this afternoon 
 from the terrible son-in-law,' said poor Mary ;
 
 2S8 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 ' and be tells me that he cannot come down 
 to the funeral of the old people, because he 
 is ill in bed, but that the moment he can 
 undertake the journey he shall come down 
 and take possession of the property ; and 
 directs me to remain in the house till he comes. 
 I did not want his orders upon this point,' 
 added Mary ; « for my master and mistress 
 made signs to me this very afternoon at this 
 table, whilst they stood there,"* pointing to 
 the exact spot, ' and I sat here as I do now, 
 not to forsake the house ' 
 
 " ' Did they speak to you then ?' asked Mr. 
 West. 
 
 '' ' No, sir, they did not say a word ; but, 
 God bless them ! and you sir, too, I have 
 lived so long with them, and knew so well all 
 they thought and felt without their saying a 
 word, that it was quite natural for me to un- 
 derstand what they wanted and intended." 
 
 '* Mr. West again supped ; again had a can- 
 dle ; again went to bed, and again slept all night 
 without being disturbed by any noise what- 
 ever. He had no longer any doubt that Mary 
 was deceived by fears or by nervous sensations. 
 
 " ' When do you come again to this place.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 239 
 
 sir ? ' asked Mary, as Mr. West was taking his 
 Monday morning's breakfast, previously to his 
 departure. 
 
 «« i Why, our next quarterly plan is not pub- 
 lished yet, Mary,' replied Mr. West ; * but our 
 superintendent fixed with me that I should 
 come the sabbath after next." 
 
 " ' Then I shall not have the pleasure of see- 
 ing you any more ?* said Mary. 
 
 " ' Why, I thought you told me yesterday, 
 you had determined to remain in the house?"* 
 replied Mr. West. 
 
 " ' Yes, but I shall be gone to heaven before 
 a fortnight,' replied poor Mary. ' I know this 
 now ; and I hope you will be good enough to 
 say for me to the congregation, that God has 
 been a faithful God to me all my life long, and 
 that the ways of religion are ways of pleasant- 
 ness and peace.' 
 
 " ' Whenever you do die, I will certainly say as 
 much, Mary,' he said ; ' that is, if I am in this 
 part of the country then ; but I hope that day is 
 far removed. It is not given to us, you know, 
 to know the times and the seasons when God will 
 call us. These things are known only to him, 
 who wisely keeps such secrets from us.'
 
 240 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " ' Very true, very true, sir, as a general 
 rule,' replied Mary ; ' but you know, sir, God 
 can do as he will amongst the hosts of heaven 
 and the inhabitants of the earth ; and, therefore, 
 there is no rule without some exception/ 
 
 '' ' Cheer up, Mary, cheer up ; you are dull, 
 lonely, melancholy. You had better have 
 some one to come and keep you company ; you 
 get nervous and timid.' 
 
 *' ' Oh dear, no ! Mr. West,' replied Mary 
 with quite unusual energy : ' you are very much 
 mistaken indeed, sir, if you think me either 
 dull, lonely, melancholy, nervous, or timid. 
 I have lived too long with my poor dear mas- 
 ter and mistress, and loved them too dearly, 
 to be frightened at them. But if you do not 
 come before the Sunday after next, you will 
 see me no more. I thank you for all your 
 kindness to me, and to my master and mis- 
 tress, sir, whilst living ; and may we all meet 
 in eternal glory ! ' 
 
 " 'Thank you, Mary,' said Mr. West ; ' thank 
 you, my dear friend ! That is the best wish 
 you can give me ; but do not indulge in low 
 spirits. Adieu!' And he departed for his 
 home.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 241 
 
 " The next Tuesday, the mortal remains of 
 the good old folks were committed to the 
 grave* All the village were present, and Mary 
 was the chief mourner. 
 
 " ' It is hardly worth while to cover over 
 the coffins," said Mary to the clergyman, after 
 the funeral was over, ' it will be my turn 
 next ; for when master read to me his will, 
 he said it was his wish, as also that of his 
 wife, that, if practicable, I should be buried 
 with them."* 
 
 " ' Do not despair,' replied the clergyman, 
 ' you may have many years before you. The 
 term of our lives is in the hands of God. 
 Come and see me. I wish you belonged to 
 our Church entirely: but I know you love 
 it, nevertheless.' 
 
 " * Indeed I do, sir,' said Mary, *and I hope 
 you will read the burial service over me.' 
 
 " ' To be sure I will,"* said the clergyman, 
 'if I do not die before you, Mary ; and now 
 that the funeral is over, we will come to see 
 you.' 
 
 '' The next Sunday, Mr. Mason, another 
 Wesleyan preacher, went to the village to take 
 his turn. The cottage looked gay, and Mary 
 
 VOL. I. M
 
 242 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 seemed in tolerable health and spirits. She was 
 not well acquainted with Mr. Mason, for he was 
 a local preacher, and had not long been accus- 
 tomed to the duty. He knew, however, of the 
 recent loss sustained by the Wesley an denomi- 
 nation in that quarter, and duly informed Mr. 
 West, on his return on the following Monday, 
 of Mary's health and state of mind. He told 
 Mr. West that he heard no noises, that all ap- 
 peared quite tranquil, that Mary spoke a good 
 deal of her master and mistress, and seemed 
 to apprehend that their worthless son-in-law 
 would come down before Mr. West should 
 return again to the cottage. She did not ac- 
 count for this, neither did she speak of her 
 death, but often said, in the course of the 
 Sunday, ' God will do all things well."* 
 
 " When the next Saturday arrived, Mr.West 
 set out on his long walk of seven miles to the 
 village in question, with a heavy heart. He 
 was not superstitious or fanciful; but poor 
 Mary had been so earnest in her predictions 
 that, in spite of himself, when he entered the 
 village he felt nervous and depressed. He 
 arrived at the cottage. It was still quite light.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 243 
 
 on a brilliant evening in July, and the sunset 
 splendid ; but the cottage door was shut, the 
 blinds down, or the shutters closed, and Mary's 
 kind face was not to be seen. 
 
 " ' Is she dead then ? ' he inquired, with no 
 ordinary emotion, as a respectable woman, 
 who was also a member of the Wesleyan 
 society, opened the door. 
 
 " ' Yes sir, she died last Wednesday, full 
 of faith, and full of hope;* and she has left 
 a few words for you, which I wrote down ac- 
 cording to her directions. Here they are.' 
 
 ' My dear friend and minister, 
 
 ' When you see this letter, poor Mary 
 will be in heaven with her beloved master and 
 mistress, and with their more beloved Saviour. 
 Be so kind as to preach from the text " He 
 hath done all things well." Soon may we also 
 meet in glory. 
 
 ' Your affectionate friend, 
 
 ' Mary Cookson.' 
 
 " Mr. West felt paralysed. It seemed as 
 if the place whereon he stood was holy ground. 
 
 m2
 
 244 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 He wept, and prayed, and then retired to rest. 
 He almost desired to hear some supernatural 
 noises, but he heard none. Morning arrived. 
 He visited the corpse of poor Mary. She ap- 
 peared to look at him as when she last said, 
 ' It will be my turn next." He preached in 
 the morning to a large congregation on the im- 
 mortality of the soul ; but in the evening the 
 Chapel could not contain one-fourth of the as- 
 sembled multitude from all the surrounding 
 villages, who had come to hear something of 
 poor Mary ; and Mr. West was obliged, however 
 reluctantly, to preach in the open air. He took 
 the text which Mary had pointed out, and the 
 impression produced on all present was pro- 
 found. 
 
 " When the services were over he went to a 
 friend's house, and supped and prayed with 
 the family. He then took leave of them, and 
 returned to the cottage, and asking for a can- 
 dle, retired to rest. The curtains at the foot 
 of the bed only were drawn. The night 
 was bright; he felt fatigued and wearied with 
 excitement, and soon fell asleep. This was 
 about eleven o'clock. He slept soundly three
 
 THE TORY BARONET. S45 
 
 hours, but was then aroused by a loud knock- 
 ing in the cupboard in his room. His first 
 thoughts were, that perhaps the bad son-in-law 
 had come down to the village, had arrived too 
 late, and was now knocking outside to gain 
 admittance. He listened again. The knocking 
 had ceased. He concluded that he had been 
 dreaming of recent events, and had been dis- 
 turbed by some imaginary noises. He looked 
 at his watch ; it was two o'clock. He turned 
 round to go to sleep again, and was about 
 closing his eyes when the curtains at the bot- 
 tom of his bed suddenly parted. He expected 
 to see the wretched son-in-law enter, and was 
 prepared to defend himself, if attacked or in- 
 sulted. He saw no one ; the door was closed, 
 the light was burning, and the night without 
 was stormless and cloudless. He sat up in his 
 bed, and uttered a short but energetic prayer. 
 The knocking in the cupboard re-commenced. 
 This was to him a signal for rising. He dress- 
 ed himself, praying all the time for wisdom 
 and courage. He drew up the blind of his 
 back sleeping-room, and determined to investi- 
 gate fully the causes of this noise in the morn-
 
 24:6 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 ing. But as he was about leaving the room, 
 the cupboard-door flew open with some vio- 
 lence. ' This is a sign/ he said to himself, that 
 there is to be no delay in my examination ; 
 I will proceed at once, and trust in God to 
 protect me.' The hammer with which he and 
 poor Mary had ineffectually examined the 
 boards and walls in every direction, still lay 
 there. * He took the candle in one hand, and 
 the hammer in the other ; but his hand trem- 
 bled, and in spite of his faith in God he was 
 much agitated. 
 
 " ' I must persevere,' thought he, ' and fear 
 nothing. What can the head of that screw 
 mean?' he said, as he looked at the paper on 
 the walls very closely and with minute atten- 
 tion, ' and covered over with paper, too ? I 
 must endeavour to get it out.* The fact 
 was, that by knocking the paper about he 
 had torn it, and discovered the screw. « It 
 was singular that the old gentleman and lady, 
 who loved Mary so much, should not have 
 confided to her the secret of the exact spot 
 where they had hidden anything of import- 
 ance, — if such was the case. Perhaps they
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 247 
 
 were afraid of their son-in-law arriving here 
 after their death and frightening the truth 
 out of her. They were taken so suddenly 
 ill, and like herself, had died so quickly, that 
 they had no time to think of these things. 
 Still she had a firm conviction that this room, 
 and especially the cupboard, was the place of 
 concealment. I will persevere. Who can tell 
 but that the son-in-law may come down this 
 very day, find some will or deeds, destroy 
 them, and take from his own deserted and 
 neglected children the property which may be- 
 long to them ?"■ 
 
 " Mr. West pulled out his clasp-knife, and 
 by its help drew out the screw. A small 
 piece of wood fell out ; he knocked again, 
 and another piece of wood came away, and 
 disclosed a small aperture or little cup- 
 board about one foot square, in which were 
 deposited the marriage settlement of the old 
 gentleman and lady, and the will of the former. 
 The knocking had wholly ceased. Mr. W^est 
 perused both the settlement and the will ; and 
 kneeling down, thanked God that He had 
 been pleased to select him as an agent in
 
 248 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 securing to the grand-children of his deceased 
 friends the property of which their own wretch- 
 ed father would undoubtedly have deprived 
 them. When the fire took place at the solici- 
 tor's of the old gentleman and lady, their son- 
 in-law thought that the marriage settlement 
 was destroyed. For some time they feared so 
 too ; but it was afterwards found in the iron 
 chest, dug out of the ruins. From that mo- 
 ment the old people would never trust it out 
 of their presence. By the marriage settlement 
 the property was to be divided amongst their 
 children, after their death ; and if no chil- 
 dren were living, then amongst their descend- 
 ants. The settlement gave power to the old 
 gentleman or lady to deprive any son-in-law of 
 theirs of his portion, provided his wife should 
 be dead, if his conduct had not pleased them. 
 This was precisely the case now, and the will 
 of the old gentleman decided that trustees 
 named by him should, in conjunction with the 
 successors of those appointed by the marriage 
 settlement, take care of the children's property 
 till they were of age, and then divide the funds 
 amongst them. If the son-in-law had disco-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 249 
 
 vered the will, he would have burned it, as 
 well as the marriage settlement. 
 
 "Mr. West was overpowered with joy. He 
 closed up the boards again as well as he could, 
 and took the will and deed into his custody. 
 The address of the grand-children was still 
 wanted ; but Mr. West felt no uneasiness on 
 this head, as an advertisment in the public 
 papers would probably soon discover them. 
 Mr. West resolved to remain, in order to bury 
 poor Mary. On Monday evening the son-in- 
 law arrived. Mr. West would wait no longer, 
 but proceeded to a friend's house. On Tues- 
 day the burial was conducted with every mark 
 of respect ; but the son-in-law ' was too fa- 
 tigued to follow the corpse to the grave/ On 
 the same night he received notice from an 
 attorney, employed by Mr. West, that the will 
 and marriage settlement of his deceased parents 
 had been placed in his hands, and that he must 
 prepare to leave the next day. By these pro- 
 vidential means all the property was saved, 
 and the grandchildren of the old lady and 
 gentleman 'were duly provided for." 
 
 M 5
 
 250 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " And now what do you think of my story ?" 
 asked Sir Edward. 
 
 " Why, that it is most delightful ; and I 'm 
 sure we all thank you very much indeed," said 
 Lucy, " so I move a vote of thanks." 
 
 " And we second the motion," said both the 
 Miss Clappertons, and the motion was of course 
 carried 7iem. con. 
 
 They had arrived at " Pickwick," — not Mr. 
 Dickens's Pickwick, nor Sam Weller's Pick- 
 wick, — but the village of Pickwick, ninety- 
 seven miles from London, once celebrated for 
 the splendid collection of paintings of Paul 
 Cobb Methuen, Esquire. 
 
 The light of the moon enabled the travellers 
 to look at the pretty village of Box. 
 
 " Sweet Auburn, loveliest village of the plain, 
 Where health and plenty cheer'd the labouring swain." 
 
 And in about an hour afterwards, the lights 
 and life of Bath gladdened the eyes of its de- 
 lighted though somewhat fatigued beholders. 
 It was nine o'clock. The roads had been fjood? 
 the post-boys had been w^ell paid, and the 
 horses therefore had done their duty.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 251 
 
 The carriage drove to Milsom Street. Some 
 of the servants, previously sent down, had pre- 
 pared dinner, — all was in perfect order ; the 
 Miss Clappertons were in ecstacies ; Miss Lucy 
 said, " really they were too kind to bring her to 
 such a superb place;" and Sir Edward looked, 
 though he did not say as much, " Have I not 
 managed well ?"
 
 252 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 I, under fair pretences of friendly ends. 
 And well-placed words of glossy court'sy, 
 Baited with reason not implausible, 
 Wind me into the easy-hearted man, 
 And hug him into snares. 
 
 Milton's Comus. 
 
 Lord Swainton waited the arrival of the 
 next day's post with feelings of some anxiety. 
 The inn was comfortable, the old servant of the 
 family, the inn-keeper, most obliging; many 
 and many a time did he enter the parlour 
 where his lordship wrote letters, notes, and 
 billets-doux, to pass away time, and recapitu- 
 lated to him all his wonderful doings at the 
 various contested elections in that borough 
 during the last twenty years ; how he had 
 been complimented from the hustings, abused 
 by counsel, cross-examined in a committee- 
 room of the House of Commons, prosecuted
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 25S 
 
 for bribery as a direct and positive agent, and 
 acquitted; and then what snnfF-boxes, guns, 
 and even gold watches for himself, wife, and 
 children, he had received from successful can- 
 didates. Then he would recount how he kid- 
 napped electors who were about to vote for the 
 other side, made them drink bottle after bottle 
 of well-brandied port and sherry, until they 
 were insensible of being conveyed to the hay- 
 loft and there kept until the election was 
 over. How, in other cases, letters were adroit- 
 ly sent from London, a few days before the 
 election, informing aged electors that their 
 children were dying in London, and begging 
 them not to lose a moment, but to proceed 
 to their sick beds without delay ; and then, 
 when they arrived, to their astonishment, 
 though not regret, they found that an elec- 
 tioneering trick had been played off upon them, 
 and that their children were in perfect health. 
 Then, how others had been invited to sea in 
 a steam-boat on an excursion for a day or 
 two's pleasure, prior to the fatigues of an 
 election, and had then been landed in France, 
 and assured by the captain that the machinery 
 of the engines was so deranged, that he could
 
 254 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 not get back in less than a few days ; all these, 
 and various other manoeuvres, were recounted 
 with joy and smiles to the approving Lord 
 Swainton, who nodded his head, opened his 
 eyes as widely as he could, and exclaimed 
 at the end of each new recital, " Beggars de- 
 scription !" 
 
 At length the mail arrived. " Is there a 
 letter for me?" inquired his lordship. 
 
 "What name?" asked the youth who opened 
 the window at the post-office. 
 
 " William Gurney, Esq.," was the reply. 
 
 " There is;" said the youth, placing in 
 his lordship's hands the letter of Sir Edward. 
 
 " Beggars description!" muttered Lord 
 Swainton to himself, as he turned away with his 
 letter; " the readiest, 'most regular, admirable 
 man I ever knew. But let us see what he says." 
 
 Lord Swainton read the few first sentences 
 with unbounded delight, and was truly gra- 
 tified to find that his new friends were acca- 
 bled with a sense of unspeakable gratitude 
 for his truly disinterested services. But when 
 he approached the closing phrases, he felt a 
 little fidgety, if not a little nervous. He
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 255 
 
 perceived that Sir Edward did not expect to 
 pay the whole of the second 3000/. unless 
 a contest should occur, and in that case the 
 sum he, Lord Swainton, had made out of 
 the first 3000/. was probably the whole of his 
 benefit. 
 
 " Beggars description ! " said his lordship, 
 as he walked up and down the streets of 
 Warnstable ; " something must be done ! If 
 I encourage an opposition, as I might easily 
 do, were I disposed, the second 3000/. would 
 then be wholly expended in bond fide election 
 expenses, and I should not be able to rescue 
 a dollar for myself. If, on the other hand, I 
 prevent, by my admirable management, a con- 
 test, he will not ' come down with the blunt,' 
 and I shall be jockeyed. Beggars description ! 
 What 's to be done ? ''■ 
 
 For more than an hour his lordship turned 
 the matter over in his mind. 
 
 " In for a penny, in for a pound," said Lord 
 Swainton ; " a faint heart never won a fair 
 lady, nor a thousand sovereigns either ; now or 
 never is the word, and I must strike the iron 
 whilst it is hot. I '11 write to Sir Edward and
 
 256 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 tell him, that as he appears rather to regret 
 the engagement he has entered into respecting 
 the second 3000/., and evidently did not un- 
 derstand that the total sum of 6000/. would 
 be absolutely required, whether there should 
 be an opposition or not, the great expense 
 consisting in the price of the votes, — he had 
 another friend who would gladly step into his 
 shoes, and would return not only the 3000 
 sovereigns, but also the 300/. he had placed 
 in his hands to meet small and miscellaneous 
 expenses. " I am sure," thought his lordship ; 
 " Sir Edward will not accept the offer, and 
 in that case I shall receive, on my return to 
 Bath, the whole of the remaining 3000/." 
 
 Having resolved on this line of conduct, 
 Lord Swainton hastened to the hotel and wrote 
 as follows : 
 
 " My dear sir Edward, 
 
 " First of all let me thank you for the 
 very kind and amiable things you and your 
 charming sisters have been pleased to say in 
 the letter I have just received. Believe me 
 that I have the most unaffected pleasure in
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 257 
 
 serving you and gratifying them, and that the 
 consciousness of doing a good action brings 
 with it its own reward. 
 
 " But now to business. I think it is quite 
 clear, from the terms of your letter, that you 
 have not understood this affair rightly ; and 
 therefore 1 will seek to put it on its proper 
 footing without delay. You thought that the 
 sum of 3000/. transmitted in the chest to Sir 
 Oscar's, was to cover all expenses, or nearly all, 
 in case there should be no contest. This is 
 an error. Whether there be a contest, or no 
 contest, the second sum of 3000/. will be indis- 
 pensable. The voters here must be paid just 
 the same, and the same price, in all cases and 
 events. I think, then, the best plan will be 
 for you not to proceed any further in this mat- 
 ter. Draw upon me at sight, at the Royal 
 Hotel here, whose landlord, I find, was an old 
 servant in my family, and is the most influ- 
 ential person in the borough, for the sum of 
 3,300/. being the sum you sent to Sir Oscar's, 
 and the sum you also placed in my hands to 
 meet miscellaneous expenses. I will prevail 
 on Sir Oscar to give me a letter of recom- 
 mendation in favour of another candidate, a
 
 258 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 friend of mine, who is dying to get into Par- 
 liament; and in this way the matter will be 
 satisfactorily arranged. He will reimburse me 
 all the expenses I have been put to, so that I 
 shall not be out of pocket one farthing ; and 
 you need not, therefore, feel any annoyance or 
 apprehension on that ground. Do not say that 
 you are ashamed of having given me all this 
 trouble for nothing ; for the little unimportant 
 mistake which has occurred is of no sort of con- 
 sequence to me, and is, no doubt, to be attri- 
 buted to myself in not having been sufficiently 
 clear about the matter. If, on the other hand, 
 you still desire to persist in your candidate- 
 ship, I will be answerable for your success; 
 but you must write by return of post, and say 
 so in the most decided terms. I will then ad- 
 vance loOOZ. to the son of my old servant and 
 head electioneering agent here, on account, and 
 proceed to Bath to confer with you, to prepare 
 your address to the electors, and to take the 
 necessary measures to ensure the press in these 
 parts in your favour. You will then have the 
 3000Z. ready on my arrival. Mind, whichever 
 way you decide, I shall be fully satisfied ; 
 only oblige me in one thing, and I will not
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 259 
 
 ask another favour from you, — and that is. if 
 you determine on resigning the borough, draw 
 on me at once for the 3,300/. through a Bath 
 bank, and send it on at once for payment, as 
 of course I cannot be seeking to serve two par- 
 ties at the same time. Either, then, be pre- 
 pared to place in my hands the second 3000/. 
 on my arrival at Bath, or draw on me for 
 3,300/. at sight, and close this affair. In either 
 case, with best compliments and respectful 
 assurances to yourself and the amiable ladies, 
 I am, as ever, my dear Sir Edward, 
 " Most truly yours, 
 
 " SWAINTON.''' 
 
 Lord Swainton, on reading his letter over, 
 exclaimed, "Admirable!" "Beggars descrip- 
 tion ! " 
 
 His lordship ran rather than walked to the 
 Post-office. 
 
 " It is too late," said the youth, when his 
 lordship knocked at the Post-office window. 
 
 " I will pay extra," replied his lordship, in 
 an agony of excitement. 
 
 " I have just closed the bag," said the youth, 
 " and am going to give it to the mail-cart."
 
 260 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " I will give you a sovereign if you will 
 open it," replied Lord Swainton, " and feel 
 obliged to you into the bargain." 
 
 The youth smiled, — said " he would not do 
 it for anybody else," by which it is to be pre- 
 sumed he meant for anybody but the sove- 
 reign ; and Lord Swainton saw, with his own 
 delighted eyes, the bag unlocked, and the 
 letter in question safely deposited. 
 
 "Beggars description !" said his lordship, as 
 the mail-cart drove off; " there goes my letter. 
 But what will be the reply? Upon that hang 
 all my prospects, not only for the season, but 
 for life. If I secure only 1000/. in addition to 
 the sum already made, I am saved ; but if Sir 
 Edward takes me at my word, and draws on 
 me for the 3,300/. and the bill goes back un- 
 paid, I am ruined ! Beggars description ! But 
 I have often been ruined already, — so it will 
 only be ruin No. 100." 
 
 How to pass the next forty-eight hours was 
 a difficulty. There was no billiard-table open 
 at that season of the year; there were no 
 gaming-tables. No one was at Warnstable 
 whom he knew. What was to be done? He 
 decided on making an excursion. He knew
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 261 
 
 every lane, street, and alley in the borough 
 where he had been staying. So he determined 
 to take a trip to Exeter. 
 
 " I have some important business at Exeter," 
 said his lordship to the landlord of the hotel ; 
 " but shall return in two days."" To prevent 
 any suspicion, however, he paid his bill before 
 departure, and declared " that the charge was 
 not high enough." 
 
 " This is not the usual fault found with us,'"* 
 replied the landlord, very honestly and truly. 
 
 "Indeed!" said his lordship, with a sham 
 look of astonishment, " much too cheap, — 
 much too cheap. Beggars description !" 
 
 Lord Swainton started for Exeter, travel- 
 ling all night, to the no small annoyance of 
 his Italian courier, who wondered what in the 
 world so rich a man as his lordship could find 
 amusing in scouring the country in all direc- 
 tions, at so inclement a season of the year. 
 
 His lordship passed the next day at Exeter, 
 where there happened to him the following 
 adventure. 
 
 " Cramwell ! Cramwell ! '' cried a well-known 
 voice behind him, just as he was entering the 
 cathedral ; *' why, what in the world can have
 
 262 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 brought you to these parts, and on Christ- 
 mas-eve too ! You are the very man I want 
 to see. I have got into a little trouble here, 
 and know not how to get out of it." 
 
 The person who stopped him was a half-pay 
 officer, once well known at Bath for his gam- 
 bling and non-paying propensities, and who 
 had set off from that city somewhat in debt, 
 not only to his gambling friends and cronies, 
 but also to a few butchers, bakers, and so 
 forth. One of these tradesmen had now come 
 to settle at Exeter, and had just then by 
 chance met Captain Smallman. 
 
 " Well, Captain," said Lord Swainton, " you 
 call me Cramwell ; but my name is Swainton 
 now." 
 
 " Oh ! indeed, my lord," replied the Captain, 
 " I had no idea you had come to your title. I 
 hope the estates are as large as your heart." 
 
 " Indeed they are not, Captain,'' said his 
 lordship. " Poor as a church mouse — hungry 
 as a starved dog ! — but still, I think I owe you 
 ten pounds?" 
 
 " I believe you do, my lord," replied the 
 Captain, " and they would be exceedingly ac- 
 ceptable."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 263 
 
 " Then here they are," said his lordship, 
 putting them into his friend's hands, " and I 
 hope they will enable you to settle with your 
 creditor ; for I suppose something of that sort 
 is the difficulty you allude to ? " 
 
 " Just the very thing," replied the half-pay 
 captain; " really it's quite surprising that I 
 should meet you at such a moment." 
 
 " Ah, it is indeed," said his lordship, " if 
 you knew all. One good turn deserves an- 
 other, and you can be of some use to me." 
 
 " That's good again. Cram well — I beg your 
 pardon, my lord," replied the Captain. " What 
 can I do ? " 
 
 " I will tell you. I may want a sham can- 
 didate for a borough, just to urge on a real 
 one. If the real man hangs back, it may be 
 necessary to have another in the field ; and 
 be sufficient to excite the other to come down 
 with—" 
 
 " The blunt," said the Captain. 
 
 " Precisely so, my good fellow. You are 
 up to everything. Never catch a weasel asleep. 
 Beggars description ! " 
 
 " You are too good," said the Captain, 
 chinking the ten sovereigns in a pocket long
 
 ^64 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 unaccustomed to such visitors ; " but I am 
 really asbamed to be detaining you in the 
 street — will you do me the favour to visit my 
 humble lodgings, my lord ? I have a knuckle 
 of ham to offer you, and a glass of the best 
 cider in Devonshire, fully equal to the finest 
 sherry." 
 
 " No bad things either," replied his lord- 
 ship; and they proceeded along the streets, 
 in front of the very shop whose inmate was 
 a creditor of the Captain." 
 
 " You are a couple of bad uns," said the 
 shopkeeper, as they passed by his door; " one 
 has owed me 10/. for five years, and run away 
 to avoid paying me; and the other, — you old 
 cheat you, I forget your name, — has owed me 
 61. for more than seven years." 
 
 Lord Swainton stopped. " I owe you 61. ? " 
 asked his lordship, in a tone of defiance and 
 fury, until he saw who it was. — It was Mr. 
 Piecrust, the baker. 
 
 " Yes you, my Lord Forget-your-debts — 
 for I forget your name," replied the baker, — 
 "^OM, 3/07/, i/ou owe me 6/." And a crowd of 
 people who heard the loud cries of the vender of 
 loaves and flour began to assemble.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 265 
 
 " Take your dirty 61. you scoundrel," said 
 his lordship, throwing six sovereigns on the 
 counter. 
 
 " I owe you but 5/." said the Captain. 
 
 " You owe me 10/." replied the baker ; 
 " but give me 51. and we are quits/' 
 
 " Give me a receipt in full of all demands,* 
 replied the Captain, and the receipt was given. 
 The baker was delighted — bowed most respect- 
 fully to the gentlemen, and had the impudence 
 to say "he should be proud to serve them 
 again." 
 
 " Beggars description ! " said his lordship ; 
 and they proceeded to the humble cottage of 
 the Captain. 
 
 There his lordship spent the day. Old 
 chums together, they recounted their mutual 
 exploits ; and the remaining five sovereigns in 
 the pocket of the Captain made him both merry 
 and warm. 
 
 " If my real candidate should give me any 
 trouble," said his lordship, as he took leave 
 of the Captain, who accompanied him to the 
 door of the inn, " I shall write to you ; and 
 you will send me such a letter as I shall draw 
 out, not altering a word. If, on the contrary, 
 
 VOL. I. N
 
 266 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 he should go on as he has begun, I shall not 
 trouble you any farther on this business, ex- 
 cept to come over to the election and enjoy 
 some of the festivities." 
 
 " Agreed to," replied the captain ; bidding 
 his lordship " Good night !" with much fervour. 
 
 " Those ten sovereigns were well paid,"' 
 thought his lordship, as he took his candle- 
 stick and proceeded to his bedroom in the inn 
 at Exeter. " I have made Smallman mine for 
 life — there's nothing he would not do for me 
 now. This is the best day's arrangement I 
 have made for a long time. Beggars descrip- 
 tion ! I am wholly indifferent now, what may- 
 be the reply of Sir Edward. — In the first place, 
 I know he is mad to get into Parliament. 
 — In the second place, I am fully convinced 
 that the Clappertons are rich, and that money 
 is no object. — In the third place, I do 7iot be- 
 lieve that he would rather abandon his seat than 
 risk another 3000/.— Fourthly.— With all their 
 anxiety to belong to the fashionable world, and 
 with their conviction that I have the power to 
 introduce them to the polite circles, they 
 would, after all, be fearful of displeasing me. — 
 Fifthly. — It would be quite contrary to the
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 267 
 
 laws of nature for any man to take back 3,300/. 
 when you insist upon his doing so. — Sixthly. — 
 Supposing such a thing should occur, and that 
 Sir Edward should determine to abandon the 
 seat rather than expend 3000/. more, unless in 
 the case of a contested election — well, what 
 then ? — why, then I would send off a courier to 
 Bath, to inform him that a Whig candidate, 
 Captain Smallman, had started since I last 
 wrote ; I would brush off to Smallman, and send 
 him onwards with his addresses and his circu- 
 lars, and would convince Sir Edward that the 
 moment had arrived when he must now carry 
 into effect his original intentions ; for that, as 
 an Opposition candidate had come forward, the 
 burgesses would not seek for a third man ; whilst 
 the second man, Captain Smallman, had not 
 the slightest chance of success. Beggars de- 
 scription ! " said his lordship several times, as 
 was his habit to do when much pleased or 
 much agitated — " Beggars description!" 
 
 Fully prepared for all possible contingencies, 
 Lord Swainton retired to rest. He slept 
 heartily and rose early. 
 
 " I have an improvement upon last night's 
 plan,'' reflected his lordship ; " I will take 
 
 N 2
 
 268 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 Smallman with me as far as Blackly, which is 
 within ten or twelve miles of the borough. 
 There is a place for him in my carriage. It 
 will cost nothing. If the letter from Sir Ed- 
 ward be favourable, the Captain can come on 
 and spend a day with me at Warnstable. If, 
 on the contrary, the letter be unfavourable, 
 an hour will take me to him, and we can 
 arrange all our plans for his entry into the 
 place as a Whig candidate. I must be off to 
 him directly, and obtain his assent." 
 
 The captain had not risen when Lord Swain- 
 ton arrived at the cottage. 
 
 " Where "'s the Captain's room ? " asked his 
 lordship of the very pretty waiting-woman. 
 
 " Up stairs, the front door,""* replied Susan ; 
 " you cannot lose your way, my lord." 
 
 « No — not if I had such a pretty guide as 
 you are," said his lordship, with one of his 
 best smiles; " though it is just such angels as 
 you are, who turn our heads and make us lose 
 our wits." 
 
 " But you do not turn ours," replied Susan 
 very archly ; and his lordship felt sorely that 
 he was getting old. Susan showed him up- 
 stairs.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 269 
 
 " Holloa ! Captain ! Captain ! " cried his 
 lordship ; ** what do jou in bed at this time 
 of the morning ? " 
 
 " Sleep, to be sure,*" replied Smallman, who 
 had a vast aversion to being roused to another 
 day's miseries and annoyances so early in the 
 morninoj. 
 
 " I want you to be off with me to Blackly," 
 said his lordship. " I have a seat in my car- 
 riage — and we can breakfast on the road."" 
 
 " Oh ! with all my heart," said the Captain, 
 who remembered that it was Christmas-day, 
 and that he had wondered when he went to 
 bed where he should eat his Christmas pud- 
 ding, for he had no chance of having one at 
 home ; " and let our breakfast be a good one, 
 worthy of the day." 
 
 " Beggars description ! " said his lordship, 
 descending the stairs, " to think I forgot 
 Christmas-day ! Baron of beef — Norfolk 
 turkey — sumptuous chine — glorious pud- 
 ding — mince pies — old family hall — tenants 
 assembled — foaming tankards — blazing fag- 
 gots — blind-man's-buff* — happy days — joy- 
 ous hours — all — all — fled ! Beggars de- 
 scription ! "
 
 270 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " I am sure he is thinking of former days 
 and happier times. Poor man ! *" thought Su- 
 san, observing the reflective mood of his lord- 
 ship, as she opened the door of the dining- 
 room. " So lords have troubles as well as 
 country servants. I was to have dined with 
 my father and mother to-day — but now the 
 captain is going out, I suppose I must not 
 leave the house."" 
 
 " Did you speak to me, my lord ? " asked 
 Susan, as his lordship repeated two or three 
 times his favourite phrase of '' beggars de- 
 scription." 
 
 " I did not speak at all, my dear," replied 
 his lordship. " I was only thinking, that if 
 you had a piece of mistletoe in your kitchen, I 
 could show you a pretty trick that they used 
 to play some thirty years ago." 
 
 " And that they play still," said Susan 
 archly. " Oh no, my lord, there's no mistle- 
 toe there ! " 
 
 Susan laid a great emphasis on the word 
 " there," and she did so advisedly. She 
 wished to know whether she could dine with 
 her large family circle, consisting of her father 
 and^ mother, brothers and sisters, and sweet-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 271 
 
 heart too, that day, or not ; she feared that her 
 fate would be to remain at home, as the cap- 
 tain was going abroad. 
 
 " No mistletoe in the kitchen," said his lord- 
 ship ; " it is somewhere else, then." 
 
 " That may he" replied Susan. 
 
 " Then where, pray ? " asked Lord Swain- 
 ton, who began to imagine that it was in some 
 other room in the house, and that a kiss be- 
 neath its white berries and green branches 
 might still be stolen. 
 
 " At my father's house," said Susan. 
 
 " Oh ! then you have a father ? " inquired 
 his lordship. 
 
 '* Indeed I have, my lord ; and a kinder and 
 a better father does not live in Exeter, no, 
 nor in all the world neither ; I was to have 
 dined to-day with him, and with my mother 
 too, and with all my brothers and sisters, 
 and — ." 
 
 " Your sweetheart, perhaps," interrupted his 
 lordship. 
 
 " That *s not impossible," replied Susan, 
 with blushing cheeks ; " but father will have 
 one less at his table now, for the captain is 
 going out of Exeter with your lordship, and I
 
 272 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 dare say he will not choose to have the house 
 left alone." 
 
 " Then 1 will stop and take care of it," said 
 his lordship, " for, by Jove, your father shall 
 not be deprived of the flower of his flock for 
 either Sir Edward or all the electors in the 
 world. You shall dine with your father to- 
 day, my dear ; make your heart easy upon that 
 point ; and if I cannot kiss your pretty pout- 
 ing lips under your father's mistletoe, your 
 sweetheart shall." 
 
 " I thank you a thousand times/' said 
 Susan, looking delighted. " You are, indeed, 
 very kind, my lord ; but pray do not say any- 
 thing about it to the Captain; he might be 
 vexed that I mentioned it to you." 
 
 " Oh ! leave that to me," said his lordship ; 
 *' if there's no other way of managing the 
 matter, I will keep the house, and dine with 
 your master. We can have our dinner from 
 the inn." 
 
 The Captain came down. He had dressed 
 himself in his best, and was evidently antici- 
 pating pleasure from his excursion. 
 
 " Susan," said the captain, " you have heard 
 I am going out of town for some days with his
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 273 
 
 lordship; "just put me up a shirt, a pair of 
 stockings, my razor and shaving-box, hair, 
 nail, and tooth-brushes, in a silk handkerchief. 
 I am sorry you will be disappointed in your 
 promised pleasure to-day, but you know it 
 would not do to leave the house. I promised 
 to stay at home, and dine as I could, that 
 you might go ; but now this is impossible. I 
 will make this up to you as soon as I come 
 back; just step to your father and acquaint 
 him of this, as soon as you have made up my 
 little bundle ; his lordship will excuse my keep- 
 ing him waiting." 
 
 Susan's heart would have burst with grief at 
 this moment if she had not entertained some 
 hope from his lordship's promised intervention. 
 She did not feel displeased either with her 
 master or Lord Swainton, for both had be- 
 haved well; but she thought of her father's 
 look of disappointment, and of his sigh of 
 sorrow when she should tell him that she could 
 not come ; and in spite of all, she would have 
 shed a flood of tears before her master had 
 finished what he had to say, had it not been 
 for the presence of his lordship. Susan looked, 
 however, perfect obedience, and said — 
 
 N 5
 
 274 THE TORY r>AROXET. 
 
 ** Very well, sir, 1 will do so." 
 
 *' Stop, Susan," said his lordship. ''I have 
 anotlur thought. I will spend tiwiay in Ex- 
 eter with your master. We will dine together. 
 
 Tlie dinner I will order from the inn. You 
 need not make uji the bundle, or go to vour 
 father's. It may be the last Christmas-day 
 you may spend with him." 
 
 Susan said not a word. The captain looked 
 rather annoyed : and his lordship perceived it. 
 
 *• Oh, I have thought o{ a better plan still. 
 1X"> you not know some good, honest old wo- 
 man, who would, for a shilling or two. come 
 and keep the house for vou, if vour master 
 would allow it ?" 
 
 Susan looked cheered bv the thought, and 
 the captain brightened up. 
 
 ** To be sure she does." said the captain. 
 •* Pov^r widow Flaxman would be glad to earn 
 a tritie. and I would triist her with untold 
 gold." 
 
 •* 1 thank you. sir, verv nii.... :.....\\i," said 
 Susan; ** and 1 thank you too. my lord, though 
 not so much for n^.yself a> for my poor father; 
 for it would be such a disappointment to 
 hitu."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 275 
 
 "And to somebody else too," added his 
 lordship. " Beggars description ! " And then 
 putting his hand into his pocket and taking out 
 half-a-crown, he said, " Here, this will pay the 
 widow Flaxman." 
 
 " Oh, thank you, my lord, a thousand times,'' 
 said Susan ; " I shall not forget this Christmas- 
 day as long as I live." And away she bustled, 
 first to prepare the bundle, and then to look 
 after the widow. 
 
 All this was effected in five minutes. Lord 
 Swainton and the captain then left the cottage 
 to proceed to the inn, and commence their 
 journey. 
 
 " Beggars description," said his lordship, 
 when they had advanced a few steps from the 
 cottage door ; " I have forgotten something ; I 
 must go back." 
 
 " What is it V asked the captain; "let me 
 go back for you." 
 
 " No, no," said Lord Swainton, with some 
 vehemence. " I shall not be a moment." 
 
 His lordship ran back. Susan opened the 
 door. Lord Swainton stepped into the sitting- 
 room. " Susan,"' said he, " I forgot to give
 
 216 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 you half-a-crown for yourself, and — though 
 there be no mistletoe — " 
 
 Susan made no resistance, but allowed his 
 lordship to kiss her. The fact was, she felt 
 grateful, and she knew not how to refuse him. 
 
 " I forgot to give your girl a trifle," said 
 his lordship on rejoining the captain, "and I 
 went back to do so. Half-a-crown is an object 
 to her, whilst it is none to me.'"' 
 
 The captain had his suspicions, for he knew 
 his lordship was always fond of pretty lips, 
 but he said not a word. 
 
 " And now for tcarte ! eh ! captain ?" asked 
 his lordship, as they drove out of Exeter, after 
 having partaken of a splendid breakfast at the 
 inn. " We will play for pence, halfpence, or 
 farthings, if you will; but something or other 
 we must stake, just to keep up the excitement." 
 
 " Always the same, my lord," replied the 
 captain, " always fond of excitement." 
 
 " Yes, I feed on excitement, drink excite- 
 ment, sleep excitement, walk, talk, think ex- 
 citement ! Nothing like excitement. Beggars 
 description ! " 
 
 " Ace of Clubs ! " said the captain, as he 
 turned the card.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 277 
 
 " Then I shall lose all the day," said his 
 lordship. " Never won in my life when the 
 game opened with Ace of Clubs. That card 
 has been my unlucky one through life. I fear 
 it is an ill omen for my letter from Sir Ed- 
 ward." 
 
 " I hope not," repHed the captain ; " but 
 simply a good omen for me that I shall win a 
 few of your sixpences." 
 
 " Shall the stake be sixpence, then ?" asked 
 his lordship. 
 
 " Yes," replied the captain, who afterwards 
 passed sixteen times, and thus won eight shil- 
 lings. 
 
 It was five o'clock in the afternoon of Christ- 
 mas-day when the carriage drove up to the 
 Swan Inn, at the clean pretty town of Blackly. 
 As they had breakfasted at the inn at Exeter 
 before starting, contrary to their original plan, 
 they were both desperately hungry. 
 
 "What can we have for dinner.?" asked 
 his lordship as they alighted — " and directly 
 too.?" 
 
 "We have as fine a piece of roast-beef as 
 ever twisted on a spit," answered the inn- 
 keeper, "and it is just ready to be taken up.
 
 278 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 It would have been put away to get cold in 
 the larder, for our coach-passengers in the 
 morning, but, if you think you can fancy that, 
 you shall have the first cut."" 
 
 "Excellent!'' said his lordship; "beggars 
 description !" 
 
 " And have you anything in the shape of 
 plum-pudding or mince-pies ? " asked the cap- 
 tain. 
 
 " Both," added the innkeeper ; " and both 
 ready and hot." 
 
 " We are quite in luck's way," said his lord- 
 ship. " This looks well for the letter. I am 
 afraid, however, it will be late before I ar- 
 rive at Warnstable ;'' and turning to the land- 
 lord, added — " Look alive, then, my friend ; 
 quick as lightning and sharp as a needle ! 
 Beggars description ! " 
 
 The beef was admirable, the pudding de- 
 licious, and the mince-pies unexceptionable. 
 The landlord produced his very best port, as 
 his lordship " was good enough to say that 
 money was no object." In fact, he placed on 
 the table two bottles of wine which had been 
 twenty-five years in bottle, which was pro- 
 nounced to be " nectar !'*
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 279 
 
 Dinner, wine, talk, and a rubber or two at 
 whist, playing " double dummy,*' brought the 
 hour of the clock to nine. 
 
 " I am afraid I shall not get my letters to- 
 night," said his lordship, " if I have another 
 rubber. I must press on as quickly as I can." 
 They counted points and games, and Lord 
 Swainton had lost twelve shillings." 
 
 " Twelve and eight make twenty," said his 
 lordship, throwing down a sovereign, which 
 the Captain put in the same pocket in which 
 were most snugly deposited the five remaining 
 from those he had received the preceding day. 
 
 " And there are two more to meet your 
 expenses to Warnstable," added his lordship ; 
 " for either you will come in, as a candidate, 
 or else spend a day or two with me before 
 my return to Bath." 
 
 " My lord, the carriage is ready," said the 
 Italian courier, who had relished beef and 
 plum-pudding on Christmas day more than 
 fish and macaroni; and in two minutes the 
 carriage moved on. 
 
 '' Pleasant times these," said the Captain 
 to himself as he called for a pint of punch, 
 hot and sweet. After which he went to bed
 
 280 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 very nearly " glorious," and dreamt of hust- 
 ings, of flags, of music, and of speeches, and 
 slept twelve hours. 
 
 As soon as Lord Swainton entered his car- 
 riage he went off to sleep, and did not wake 
 till within a mile of the borough. 
 
 " What are those lights?" asked his lordship 
 of the postilion, as he saw in the distance some 
 which he did not precisely recognise as old 
 friends. 
 
 " They are the lights in Warnstable," re- 
 plied the post-boy. 
 
 " Ah, indeed ! you have come very quickly, 
 then: just stop at the post-office as you go 
 by ; there is a letter for me." 
 
 " The post-office has been closed an hour 
 ago," replied the lad ; " but I will stop if 
 your lordship pleases, though it is of no use 
 since the post-master does not live there." 
 
 Lord Swainton felt disappointed, but still 
 he ordered the post-boy to drive there, for 
 he remembered the sovereign he had given to 
 the youth for despatching his letter, and it 
 might so happen that the same youth would 
 be there again.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. ^81 
 
 " Knock louder," said his lordship, as his 
 courier descended from the rumble, and tapped 
 at the post-office door. But no one replied. 
 There was no light. 
 
 "Beggars description!" said his lordship, 
 as the carriage rolled on to the hotel. *' There 
 lies a letter for me of incalculable importance, 
 and yet I cannot procure it !" 
 
 His lordship arrived at the inn, took soda 
 water and brandy, talked with the landlord, 
 thought about his letter, went to bed anxious, 
 and woke early.
 
 2S2 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Man is the merriest species of the creation ; all above 
 and below him are serious. 
 
 Addison. 
 
 The morning after the arrival of Sir Edward 
 and suite at Bath they all rose late. On arriv- 
 ing at the breakfast table there were letters 
 and newspapers from all parts. Newspapers 
 from London and from Warn stable. Letters 
 from London, and even from Clapham. One 
 was from Mrs. Colonel Dawson, addressed to 
 her beloved Lucy, enclosing her a 51. note 
 which she had " entirely forgotten to give her 
 before leaving, that she might not be with- 
 out pocket money ;" another from Sir Felix 
 Montague to Sir Edward, expressive of his 
 regret that " the birds had flown," when he 
 had gone down to " pay his devoirs to the 
 ladies before their departure ; a third from Sir 
 Edward's bankers, advising him to apply to
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 283 
 
 the bank at Bath in correspondence with them, 
 to supply him with the 3000/. in gold, if he 
 should require it, and containing a letter of 
 introduction from them to the Bath bankers, 
 stating that whatever sums Sir Edward thought 
 fit to draw, they would be responsible for at 
 sight. There was also a fourth letter, which 
 was opened the first by Sir Edward. It was 
 the letter from Lord Swainton. As Sir Ed- 
 ward read it he looked annoyed, then read 
 it again. 
 
 " What have you to vex you, my dear 
 Edward ? " asked the elder Miss Clapperton 
 affectionately ; " I am sure something unplea- 
 sant has occurred.*' 
 
 " Nothing at all, I assure you,"' replied Sir 
 Edward ; and then casting a side glance at his 
 sister, he made a well understood sign that he 
 did not desire to speak of business before Lucy. 
 
 When the breakfast was over. Sir Edward 
 left the room, and Miss Clapperton followed 
 him. Her sister remained behind to keep 
 Lucy company, that nothing calculated to di- 
 minish the life and cheerfulness of the party 
 might even be suspected. 
 
 " I am dreadfully afraid I have offended
 
 284 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 his lordship/' said Sir Edward, as he entered 
 the drawing-room, and handed the letter to 
 his sister. " These noblemen are such high- 
 spirited fellows, they cannot brook the least 
 alteration, or even a doubt of the excellence of 
 their plans or arrangements. Come, read the 
 letter, however, and see what you think of it." 
 
 Miss Clapperton read the letter. 
 
 " I fear so, too, Edward,'" she replied, " but 
 what noble conduct ! what truly gentlemanly 
 and dignified behaviour ! Not only does he 
 not reproach you, not only does he take all the 
 blame as to the misunderstanding on himself, 
 not only does he agree to cancel all he has 
 done for your benefit, not only does he direct 
 you, if you have altered your mind in conse- 
 quence of this new feature of the case, to draw 
 upon him at sight for the 3000/. ; but so deli- 
 cate is he on every point of honour, that he 
 even requests you also to draw for the 300/. 
 which you placed in his hands for travelling and 
 miscellaneous expenses. This is admirable con- 
 duct indeed; there is no class like noblemen, 
 Edward ; they are really gentlemen and men 
 of honour at heart." 
 
 " Yes, mv dear sister," said Sir Edward ;
 
 THE TORY BARONET. ^85 
 
 " and he has done even more than what you 
 have referred to; for he goes the length of 
 offering to advance 1500/. for me, provided I 
 go on ! provided, indeed ! why, how could he 
 doubt it?" 
 
 " Oh ! of course you will," replied his sister ; 
 " but what could show more finished delicacy 
 than this part of his letter ? * Do not say that 
 you are ashamed of having given me all this 
 trouble for nothing, for the little unimportant 
 mistake which has occurred, is of no sort of 
 consequence to me, and is, no doubt, to be attri- 
 buted to myself, in not having been sufficiently 
 clear about the matter/ And then, again, 
 ' mind, whichever way you decide, I shall be 
 fully satisfied."* Oh ! really his conduct is so 
 perfect, that we might truly and justly make 
 use of his favourite term, and say, ' It beggars 
 description ! ' " 
 
 " Indeed we might," said Sir Edward, " that 
 is just my feeling; but what is best to be 
 done ? " 
 
 " Why, there can be no doubt as to that, 
 Edward," replied his sister ; " write to sav 
 that you are sure all the mistake is yours; 
 that whether there be a contest or not, the
 
 286 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 other 3000/. are ready at a moment's notice, 
 and that you place yourself entirely, wholly, 
 in his hands. And mind you present to him 
 our very best compliments, and say that we 
 long — quite long to see him again." 
 
 " Well, my dear Charlotte, that is precisely 
 my opinion," replied Sir Edward ; "but as So- 
 phia has a very long, cool head, I should like 
 to have her opinion too. Just ask her to step 
 in for a few minutes, while you remain with 
 Lucy." 
 
 Sophia thought precisely the same as her 
 sister and brother ; and Sir Edward sat down 
 and wrote the following letter : — 
 
 " My very dear lord, 
 
 " I have just received your very kind, 
 and, at the same time, most considerate and 
 important letter. I am much more than an- 
 noyed, I am truly grieved at all the trouble 
 I am giving you, especially as I am convinced 
 that I am alone to blame for the momentary 
 misunderstanding which has taken place with 
 respect to the second 3000Z. My sisters are 
 precisely of the same opinion ; they say that 
 they are sure you are not to be blamed. 
 Thus, you perceive, my dear lord, that you
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 287 
 
 are looked on as immaculate by the ladies. 
 But be this as it may, and it really is of no 
 sort of importance, except on account of the 
 extra trouble I have given you, I beg you 
 will consider that I am ready with the second 
 3000/. in gold, at a moment's notice, and that 
 I hope you will be able so to arrange as not 
 to advance any sum on my account. It is 
 quite enough to devote such talents and in- 
 fluence as yours, my lord, to me, without 
 putting yourself to any even momentary in- 
 convenience by the advance of 1500/. to the 
 agent. I reckon myself also peculiarly for- 
 tunate in having for my agent a former ser- 
 vant of your lordship's family, and I feel no 
 doubt whatever relative to my success. 
 
 " When your lordship shall arrive at Bath, 
 you will find all ready for your reception, and 
 a very pretty girl withal, who longs to hear 
 your amusing stories, and to become acquainted 
 with one of whom we have spoken in terms of 
 such well-merited admiration. 
 
 " My sisters beg you to receive their united 
 best compliments, and I beg you to believe, 
 my dear lord, how truly I am, 
 
 " Yours very gratefully and truly, 
 
 " E. Clapperton."
 
 288 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 Both the Miss Clappertons perused the letter 
 of their brother, and they pronounced it to 
 be admirable. 
 
 It was now Christmas-eve. Sir Edward and 
 his sisters gave sumptuous directions for the 
 next day, and resolved on doing justice to 
 Christmas festivities. 
 
 About two ©""clock a carriage drove up. The 
 door trembled again beneath the weight and 
 oft-repeated strokes of the knocker. Who 
 could it be ? It was " The Master of the 
 Ceremonies.'* 
 
 " Ask him to walk in," said Sir Edward, 
 when the servant announced his arrival. 
 
 " Pray be seated, sir. I am happy to see 
 you." 
 
 *' Your most humble servant," said the mas- 
 ter, turning to the ladies ; " is this your first 
 visit to Bath ? 1 do not remember having had 
 the honour of having your names on my book 
 before, ladies. I thought there were but two 
 Miss Clappertons ?" 
 
 " There are only two," said Sir Edward ; 
 " but Miss Lucy Dawson, daughter of Colonel 
 Dawson, whose bravery is so well known, and 
 who received the Waterloo-medal, has accom- 
 panied my sisters.'"*
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 289 
 
 " Indeed !" said the master ; " daughter of 
 the celebrated Colonel Dawson. Most admira- 
 ble officer, brave man; no two opinions res- 
 pecting your father, madam," turning to Miss 
 Lucy ; " it is a great satisfaction to know that 
 the daughter of so brave and excellent a man 
 has condescended to honour Bath with a 
 visit." 
 
 Miss Lucy blushed, and then muttered 
 something about " very happy — very kind — 
 and had longed always to see Bath." 
 
 " Are you fond of dancing, ladies ? " asked 
 the Master of the Ceremonies. 
 
 " We are all of us passionately fond of it," 
 replied Miss Sophia ; " and that is one of 
 Bath's greatest attractions to us." 
 
 " I need not ask you. Sir Edward, if you 
 have come to take the waters. I presume 
 not. The appearance of yourself and your 
 party would at once indicate that our healing 
 springs are not required by you." 
 
 « Why, I think not, sir," replied Sir Ed- 
 ward ; " and yet I believe Miss Dawson has 
 some intention of trying them." 
 
 " Does her health then require it ?" asked 
 the master in a sort of serious under-tone, 
 
 VOL. I. o
 
 290 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 indicating real or affected interest. " If she 
 takes them medicinally I would advise her 
 first to consult a medical man, of whom we 
 have several here highly distinguished for 
 their talents and gentlemanly bearing ; but if 
 Miss Dawson's health should not require her 
 to drink them, she had better wholly abstain, 
 for they are of too powerful a nature to be 
 negative in their results ; they do much good 
 or great harm." 
 
 Miss Lucy said, " that her papa and mamma 
 thought they might prove beneficial to her, but 
 that, as she had not received any positive di- 
 rections from them on the subject, she should 
 'let well alone."' 
 
 Sir Edward " thought she should consult 
 some eminent physician if necessary, and asked 
 the Master of the Ceremonies whom he would 
 recommend." 
 
 "In the arduous and truly important post 
 confided to my care," replied the master with 
 much dignity, " I endeavour, Sir Edward, to 
 adopt the golden rule, of doing as I would be 
 done by. You may easily imagine that were 
 I to patronise any medical man here, his for- 
 tune would be made. But then what would
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 291 
 
 become of the others ? I have, therefore, laid 
 it down as a rule not to recommend any one ; 
 but when appealed to, as I now am, simply to 
 repeat the names of the medical chiefs of this 
 city in alphabetical order, and leave those who 
 consult me to decide for themselves. Thus we 
 have, Sir William Allcure, — and Sir James 
 Buzzard, — Mr. Bolus the apothecary, — Mr. 
 Catch the surgeon, — Dr. Dovetail the accou- 
 cheur, — Dr. Eye the oculist — Dr. Fondle, 
 who is very generally called in, in diseases of 
 children, — Mr. Gimblet the aurist. — Mr. Hurt 
 the dentist, — Mr. Lance the cupper, — and Mr. 
 Potion, Mr. Powder, Mr Pilula and several 
 other general practitioners, — not to forget the 
 celebrated Monsieur Pedicure, the distinguished 
 chiropodist." 
 
 " Oh, what droll names," said Sophia. 
 
 "And how appropriate, too," remarked Lucy. 
 
 " All men of first-rate talent in their respec- 
 tive spheres," observed the master of the cere- 
 monies ; "but I hope, ladies, though they are 
 all my kind dear friends, you may have no 
 occasion to consult them." 
 
 " I presume, Sir Edward, you have taken a 
 
 box at the theatre ? " 
 
 o 2
 
 292 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 "Indeed, sir, I have not, I am sorry to 
 say ; but I was thinking of doing so this 
 morning/' 
 
 " If I can be of any service in recommending 
 the best box to you, and where you will see as 
 well as hear, and hear as well as see, I shall be 
 truly happy." 
 
 " Indeed you are most obliging,'' said Sir 
 Edward ; " I will do myself the pleasure of 
 accepting your offer. If you will fix your own 
 hour, I will meet you there." 
 
 The master of the ceremonies fixed four — 
 and then rising most gracefully, bowing most 
 elegantly, and retiring with dignity, vanished 
 into thin air, or else, which is most probable, 
 drove oif in his vehicle. 
 
 " Rather prosy," said Miss Lucy. 
 
 " Oh, do you think so ?" asked Miss Clap- 
 perton ; " I was so much pleased with him." 
 
 " And I, too," said Sophia. 
 
 " I was neither pleased nor displeased," ob- 
 served Sir Edward; "I suppose, he is omni- 
 potent here ; mind, young ladies, we must all be 
 on our P's and Q's until his lordship shall arrive, 
 and set us all right." 
 
 Sir Edward and the Miss Clappertons read
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 293 
 
 through the rules and regulations which the 
 master of the ceremonies had left them, and the 
 following programme of amusements : 
 
 " Monday night — Dress Ball. 
 " Wednesday night- — Concert. 
 " Thursday night — Fancy Ball. 
 " Friday night — Card Assembly." 
 
 '' Exquisite !" exclaimed Sophia. 
 
 *' Oh, my dear, how delicious !" said Char- 
 lotte, addressing herself to Lucy. 
 
 " It is indeed !" she replied. " Dress balls — 
 Cotillon balls, — I hope they begin early.'" 
 
 " Oh, yes,'' said Sir Edward, " at eight 
 o^clock, and finish at midnight." 
 
 " Minuets, too !"" cried Sophia. 
 
 " And country-dances!" exclaimed Charlotte. 
 
 So the girls began dancing beforehand, and 
 Sir Edward repeated the lines : — 
 
 " What joy at the ball, what delight have I found, 
 By all the bright circles encompassed around ! 
 I 've read how the goddesses meet all above, 
 And throng the immortal assemblies of Jove. 
 When, join'd with the Graces, fair Venus appears, 
 Ambrosial sweet odours perfume all the spheres. 
 But the goddess of love, and the Graces, and all 
 Must yield to the beauties I 've seen at the ball.
 
 ^94 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 For Jove never felt such a joy at his heart, 
 Such a heat as these sweet charming creatures impart, 
 In short, in fine women there really is something, 
 When they meet altogether, that 's quite overcoming." 
 
 The ladies laughed heartily, but danced on ; 
 and Sir Edward went to the theatre to choose 
 his box. 
 
 " This theatre was founded by General 
 Palmer's father, was it not?" asked Sir Edward 
 of the box-keeper. 
 
 " It was sir, indeed, but the General is no 
 gainer by it. He has been, I think, a most ill- 
 used as well as unfortunate man» In the Post- 
 office business he has been sadly tricked — 
 and—" 
 
 " Oh I know nothing of politics at Bath," 
 said Sir Edward. " I know Palmer's claret 
 is excellent wine, though too pure and unadul- 
 terated, I believe, to suit every one's taste. I 
 know no more of the General than that, and 
 that is all to his credit.*" 
 
 The next day was Christmas-day. Church 
 at St. Mary's, Bathvvick; a ride from Milsom 
 Street to Walcot Parade, and to the Ferry, 
 and Henrietta Street ; a visit to the Great 
 Pump-room and a saunter on the parades, fully 
 occupied them until dusk ; and preparations
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 295 
 
 for dinner, and for the reception of two recent 
 acquaintances whom Sir Edward had invited 
 to join the family circle, engaged all their at- 
 tention until the hour of six. The two new 
 acquaintances were old friends of Colonel Daw- 
 son, to whom he had addressed letters intro- 
 ducing Sir Edward ; and as they were mostly 
 at liberty when dinner or even supper parties 
 were proposed to them, they accepted the rather 
 late invitation given by Sir Edward, when -he 
 called on them, on the previous day. The fact 
 was, that the baronet had made up his mind 
 " to make a splash at Bath," and therefore to 
 become well-acquainted with everything re- 
 lating to that splendid city and its society as 
 quickly as possible, so that no time might be 
 lost before their fashionable enjoyments should 
 begin, in making inquiries and observations. 
 
 The first of these new acquaintances was 
 Major Browne, who had seen some service in 
 India, was a widower, had only one son, who 
 was at Calcutta ; he had lived seven years 
 in Bath, was highly respected, and knew every 
 one ; his greatest pleasures were walking and 
 backgammon. 
 
 The second was Colonel Wright, an old
 
 296 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 bachelor, who had distinguished himself in the 
 Peninsula, and reposed on his laurels. He 
 loved dancing, or rather dancing- walking; for 
 he would not derange a curl on his head, or 
 turn hastily round to save his own life, or even 
 that of his handsome sister who kept his 
 house : but he was " devoted to the female 
 sex," a sworn enemy to gaming, was most rigid 
 in the payment of all bills on the first Monday 
 of every month, and enjoyed an excellent repu- 
 tation for being quite comme ilfaut and " very 
 respectable." He was never guilty of afaux- 
 pas, and could neither pity nor sympathise 
 with those who had been. 
 
 The dinner was rather solemn and cold on 
 Christmas-day, though Sir Edward did his 
 best ; and the party broke up about eleven. 
 
 " This is flat enough," said Sir Edward, as 
 the Colonel and the Major left together. " I 
 have no doubt they are excellent men, both of 
 them ; but they are not the sort of birds that 
 amuse me." 
 
 " Their notes are none of the liveliest, I 
 own," observed Miss Lucy ; " but I know 
 papa has a great respect for them both as 
 admirable officers."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 297 
 
 " You have no idea how different they are 
 to Lord Swainton," said Miss Charlotte, ad- 
 dressing herself to Lucy. 
 
 " Ah ! and to the Honourable Felix Mont- 
 ague," observed Miss Sophia. " Oh ! what a 
 difference ! But 1 do not believe there are two 
 Sir Felix's in the world." 
 
 " Smitten, — quite smitten ! "" said Sir Ed- 
 ward; to which Sophia only deigned to re- 
 
 " Edward, you are a great plague." 
 The next day was devoted to shop visiting, 
 to purchases, to orders to tailors and mil- 
 liners, to preparations for his lordship, to 
 visits to the libraries, and to a variety of mis- 
 cellaneous arrangements which are quite in- 
 dispensable when three young ladies and a 
 gentleman, abundantly supplied with health, 
 money, good spirits, and a determination to be 
 gay and fashionable, first settle down for a 
 season at Bath. All their orders were on a 
 most costly scale; and, as far as a lavish dis- 
 play of wealth could secure importance, every- 
 thing that could be done was effected. In one 
 word, all Bath soon knew they had arrived, 
 and would be fashionable. 
 
 5
 
 298 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 But it is now time to return to Lord Swain- 
 ton. We have said that he rose early on the 
 morning after Christmas-day. He did so, to 
 proceed to the Post-office, in order to procure 
 the letter he expected, since, as it was directed, 
 not to himself, but to William Gurney, Esq. he 
 could not send his courier for it. 
 
 " I think you have a letter for me ? " said 
 his lordship, to the same youth to whom he 
 had given a sovereign. 
 
 *' Yes, I have, sir," was his reply ; " it 
 arrived yesterday, and if I had known where 
 you lodged, I would have sent it up to 
 you." 
 
 " Oh ! it 's of no importance," said his lord- 
 ship, turning on his heel. 
 
 " Of no importance !" muttered Lord Swain- 
 ton to himself; "of no importance! That 
 was a fib, and a most unnecessary one; for, 
 if this letter be of no importance, I don't know 
 what letter can be." So he burst open the 
 seal. 
 
 " Admirable ! capital ! famous ! glorious I 
 beggars description ! " and then his lordship 
 read the letter again. " I must go off to Bath 
 at once," continued Lord Swainton, talking to
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 299 
 
 himself as fast as he could, and without in- 
 termission. — " Strike the iron while it 's hot ! 
 and before some scoundrel or other at Bath 
 may attack my reputation before Sir Edward. 
 The master of the ceremonies is a good sort of 
 fellow, and owes me no grudge, — indeed, he 
 speaks ill of no one, — but if he should happen 
 to meet with some of my play creditors, there 
 would be a pretty kettle of fish. Beggars de- 
 scription ! " 
 
 But what was to be done respecting Captain 
 Smallman? He was waiting for orders at the 
 Swan Inn, at Blackly, and was either to come 
 to Warnstable as a candidate, or as a friend 
 and visitor; but now his lordship required him 
 in neither capacity, as he longed to arrive at 
 Bath, and secure in his own hands the 3000/. 
 
 " I know what to do," said his lordship; 
 •' send him a Bl. note by my courier, who can 
 go there and back on horseback whilst I am 
 arranging for departure, and writing to Bath, 
 London, and so forth." 
 
 This plan was carried into effect much to 
 Captain Smallman's satisfaction. Lord Swain- 
 ton wrote three lines to Sir Edward, "just to 
 say that he should leave Warnstable that after-
 
 300 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 noon, after having made all the necessary ar- 
 rangements for his election ; and that, although 
 it would not be very legal to do so, he might 
 begin beforehand in preparing his franks for 
 the ladies, for that his election was safe." 
 Then, in a postscript he added, " I have ad- 
 vanced 1500/. for you to the agent, to make 
 assurance doubly sure." 
 
 Once more Lord Swainton started for Bath, 
 — once more rattled along the road, — and once 
 more entered that charming city, and drove 
 up immediately, at five o'clock, to Sir Ed- 
 ward Clapperton's in Milsom Street. No 
 reception could be more flattering, no cor- 
 diality more sincere; and his lordship was 
 scarcely in his room arranging his toilet for 
 dinner, when the west-end servant of Sir Ed- 
 ward brought up a box, very heavy, and with 
 a key wrapped up in a note from Sir Edward, 
 expressing how grateful he was to his lordship 
 for having advanced the 1500/. at Warn stable, 
 and with what pleasure and thankfulness he 
 returned that sum, and accompanied it with 
 1500/. more, making the total sum of 6000/. 
 for the whole expenses of the approaching elec- 
 tion.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 301 
 
 "Beggars description !" said his lordship ; 
 beggars description ! This is admirable !" 
 And taking up the box, opening it, examin- 
 ing its contents, and feasting his eyes for ten 
 minutes on 3000 more sovereigns in gold ; 
 standing bolt upright, he exclaimed, over and 
 over and over again, " Admirable ! wonder- 
 ful ! beggars description !" 
 
 " My lord," said the west-end servant, knock- 
 ing at Lord Swainton's door, " Sir Edward has 
 begged me to remind you that the dinner hour 
 has arrived, but, as perhaps your lordship is 
 fatigued, you might like it postponed." 
 
 " By no means," said his lordship. " I shall 
 join your master and the ladies in five mi- 
 nutes." 
 
 His lordship looked admirably, and who 
 does not when he is as happy as was Lord 
 Swainton, when he entered the drawing-room ? 
 The ladies were, of course, "• angels ! " the 
 house "splendid!" and their warm reception 
 " accahltd him," he confessed, laying great 
 emphasis on the French word. They all 
 laughed heartily and sat down to dinner, the 
 account of which must be given in the next 
 chapter.
 
 S02 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 Good Shepherd, tell this youth what 'tis to love. 
 
 — It is to be made all of sighs and tears ; 
 
 It is to be made all of faith and service ; 
 
 It is to be all made of fantasy, 
 
 All made of passion, and all made of wishes ; 
 
 All adoration, duty, and obedience ; 
 
 All humbleness, all patience, all impatience, 
 
 All poverty, all trial, all observance. 
 
 Shakspeare. 
 
 Never was a merrier dinner party than this ; 
 Lord Swainton felt relieved of such a weight of 
 cares by relieving his host from a weight of 
 gold, that he indulged in all the buoyancy of 
 his extraordinary character, and made the ladies, 
 and especially Miss Lucy, laugh so heartily, 
 that she more than once entreated him to for- 
 bear. The descriptions he gave of the family 
 of the Morbleus, and the satires he poured 
 forth on young misses who cannot speak, and 
 especially on Miss Morbleu, who, by her perti-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 303 
 
 nacious silence had exceedingly provoked him, 
 resisting, as she did, all his jokes and all his 
 puns, — good, bad, and indifferent, — were irre- 
 sistibly comic. The following is one of the 
 scenes which he gave, most graphically adapt- 
 ing his manner, physiognomy, and voice to 
 each sentence. It was a dinner-scene at Sir 
 Oscar's, when he sat opposite to " the miss of 
 the establishment." 
 
 Lord Swainton. — I shall have great pleasure 
 in being allowed to take wine with you. Miss 
 M or bleu. 
 
 Miss Morbleu said nothing, but bowed 
 her head. 
 
 Lord Swainton. — Shall I send you hock 
 or sherry ? 
 
 Miss Morbleu looked indifferent, but seem- 
 ed by her manner to point her eyes or her head 
 rather in the direction of the hock. 
 
 Lord Swainton. — Then you do not decline 
 hock, I presume? Hie, haec, hoc^ hujus, huic, 
 hunc, hanc, hock ! Ah ! ah ! ah ! he ! he ! he ! 
 
 Miss Morbleu. — I beg your pardon, my 
 lord, I have learnt Latin and got as far as 
 Delectus ; but hock or sherry are quite the 
 same to me.
 
 304 THE TORY" BARONET. 
 
 Lord Swainton (to the servant). Will you 
 assist Miss Morbleu to hock ? 
 
 Miss Morbleu bowed very crookedly to- 
 wards the right ear, contrary to the usual and 
 established custom in such cases, of bowing 
 to the left. 
 
 Lord Swainton. — Delectus est buvere vinum 
 avec mulier* 
 
 Miss Morbleu. — I am not so far advanced 
 as that, my lord. I have been told that Mu- 
 lier is a fine author. 
 
 Lord Swainton. — And authoress, too, Miss 
 Morbleu, sometimes. 
 
 Miss Morbleu. — Indeed, my lord! Are 
 they married, then? 
 
 Lord Swainton. — Who married, Miss Mor- 
 bleu ? 
 
 Miss Morbleu. — I thought you spoke of 
 a Mrs. Mulier, and I had only heard of a 
 Mr. Mulier. t 
 
 Lord Swainton. — I am not aware whether 
 
 * Lord Swainton was a better scholar than this, but he 
 was resoh-ed on having a joke at the expense of Miss 
 Morbleu's Latin. He intended to say, " How delightful 
 it is to take wine with a lady." 
 
 t i. e. Moliere.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 305 
 
 they were married or not; but it is probable 
 so agreeable a person did not long remain 
 single. Ladies seldom do under such circum- 
 stances. And, turning to Lady Morbleu, he 
 asked permission to take wine with her. 
 
 Miss Morbleu. — I think we are talking of 
 very opposite characters. 
 
 Lady Morbleu. — I fear my daughter has 
 forgotten some of her Latin, my lord. 
 
 Sir Oscar. — And I am sure I cannot assist 
 her, for I have forgotten all mine these twenty 
 years past. I know, however, that Mulier is 
 a woman. 
 
 Miss Morbleu. — Ah ! mine was a gentle- 
 man. 
 
 Lord Svvainton. — Your what, Miss Mor- 
 bleu.? 
 
 Miss Morbleu. — I hardly know, my lord, 
 except that you said, " It was very delightful 
 to drink wine ; " and then I understood that 
 you made that observation from Mulier. 
 
 Sir Oscar. — I remember, in my boyish days, 
 translating from Mulier's works ; but whether 
 it was Mr. Mulier or Mrs. Mulier, I cannot 
 say. 
 
 '' I could restrain myself no longer,'' said his
 
 306 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 lordship to the Miss Clappertons ; '' and to 
 conceal my laughter I began to cough, placing 
 one pocket handkerchief after another to my 
 eyes, which so streamed with tears that you 
 might have wrung out pails full ; beggared de- 
 scription ! One advised brandy, another Sal 
 Volatile ; Sir Oscar thought it was food which 
 had gone down the windpipe. Miss Morbleu 
 sat perfectly motionless ; but now and then, be- 
 tween my fits of coughing, I heard herself and 
 her father exchanging a few words respecting 
 Mr. or Mrs. Mulier, for they were by no 
 means agreed as to the sex of the party, though 
 it was ' a woman.' This set me off again into 
 new fits of laughter, which I concealed as well 
 as I could, until after about three quarters of 
 an hour of the most violent coughing and laugh- 
 ing ever heard in the history of the world and 
 all the planets, I consoled myself with some 
 half-cold haunch of mutton." 
 
 " ' I hope you are better, my lord ?* said Miss 
 Morbleu. * It is very unpleasant when the 
 food goes the wrong way.' 
 
 *' ' Very indeed,' I replied, said Lord Swain- 
 ton ; and if she had uttered another syllable 
 I should have laughed till I died."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 307 
 
 " I am afraid you are a quiz," said Lucy. 
 
 " I know not how to quiz," said his lord- 
 ship, " except with a quizzing glass, and this I 
 should not have the hardihood to do when the 
 mirror would reflect so much beauty. ' I 
 think you are quizzing me," said Lord Mor- 
 pleworth one day to me ; and he was old, cross, 
 ugly, and my second cousin. ' Indeed I am 
 not, cousin,' I replied, ' but every one else 
 does.' Ah ! ah ! ah ! He was so angry." 
 
 The ladies all laughed, and Sir Edward was 
 not less amused than they. 
 
 " I once belonged to a debating society,'* 
 said his lordship, " when I was at Cambridge, 
 and it was one of the most amusing things in 
 the world. Beggars description ! The oddest 
 subjects in the world were chosen for discussion. 
 Neither history, politics, religion, literature, 
 the arts and sciences, poetry, sculpture, painting, 
 music, trade, nor commerce, manufactures, agri- 
 culture, nor anything of the kind were suffered 
 to claim our attention." 
 
 *' Oh, then, you chose Latin, Greek, and 
 Hebrew, mathematics, and all those dull things, 
 to debate upon," guessed Charlotte. 
 
 " Not so," said his lordship. " Guess again."
 
 308 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " Then you discussed geology, or astronomy, 
 or mineralogy ? '' 
 
 " Try again," said his lordship. 
 
 " I have it," said Lucy : " natural history, 
 my lord ? " 
 
 " No ; nor the history of angels, with which 
 you must surely be well acquainted. Eh ! eh ! 
 eh ! Guess again. Beggars description !" 
 
 " It does, indeed," said Sir Edward. " I 
 think, my lord, we must give it up." 
 
 " Yes, we give it up," cried the ladies as well 
 as Sir Edward ; and his lordship was requested 
 to tell them what could have been the subjects 
 of their debates. 
 
 " I will give you a dozen specimens of the 
 subjects we selected," said his lordship; "but, 
 upon one condition, and that is, that you select 
 one of them for a debate at dessert, and that 
 you all pledge yourselves to take a part in the 
 discussion." 
 
 " I am sure I cannot," said Charlotte. 
 
 " Nor I," said Sophia. 
 
 " Oh, I could not make a speech to win a 
 throne," said Lucy. 
 
 " Yet every speech of yours would win a
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 309 
 
 heart," said his lordship. " Ah ! ah ! ah ! 
 Eh ! eh ! eh ! Beggars description !" 
 
 " It does, indeed," said Lucy, and she gave 
 one of her heartiest laughs, running up and 
 down the scale with incredible rapidity. 
 
 " But do tell us the subjects, my lord, I be- 
 seech you to do so," said Miss Clapperton. 
 
 " You know my conditions,"" replied his lord- 
 ship ; " are as inexorable as the electors of 
 Warnstable are to their candidates. Ah ! ah ! 
 ah ! Eh ! eh ! eh ! Beggars description ! " 
 
 " Well," said Lucy, " I am dying to hear 
 the subjects, my lord ; but you know I really 
 cannot make a speech." 
 
 '' I know no such thing," replied his lord- 
 ship ; "music, love, soul, fire, genius, taste, 
 imagination — all in your favour. If you can- 
 not speak. Miss Dawson, who can ? " 
 
 " Oh, that is capital !" said Lucy, with ge- 
 nuine sincerity. " Well, then, I will speak, 
 mais prenez garde, my lord; for you know, 
 when once you unlock a woman's tongue you 
 cannot chain it again." 
 
 " And who do you think would chain your 
 tongue?" asked his lordship; — "or rather, 
 who would not be chained by it?"
 
 310 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 Lucy laughed, for she never took compli- 
 ments in an}^ other light than either as good or 
 bad jokes, accordingly as they were uttered. 
 
 '' Well, Miss Charlotte,'' inquired his lord- 
 ship, " you have heard what your fair friend 
 says : will you also do your best, — and that will 
 be good indeed, — in the shape of a speech ? I 
 once dined at Lady Mary Sandgate's, where 
 there were all the Hebes, Floras, and Venuses 
 of creation. Never was there such an assem- 
 blage of beauty since I was born ! — and I 
 made a similar proposition to that I now make 
 here, at your hospitable board, Sir Edward, 
 and the ladies were so taken with the idea, that 
 we began the debate at nine in the evening and 
 did not close it till seven the next morning. 
 Ten hours' debate. Beggared description !" 
 
 " Well," said Charlotte, " I will promise to 
 do my best." 
 
 " And I, too," said Sophia. 
 
 " And I must not be behindhand," added 
 Sir Edward, " and so your party is complete, 
 my lord ; and now for the subjects." 
 
 " It will be good practice for you. Sir 
 Edward,"*' replied his lordship; " such debates 
 may prepare you for Saint Stephen's."
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 311 
 
 "And for the hustings," said Sir Edward, 
 " or the borough hall." 
 
 " Well," said his lordship, " now there are 
 just five of us. Two must advocate one side 
 of the question — two the other — and one must 
 be president." 
 
 " Oh, 1 11 be president," said Charlotte, 
 *' for then I shall not have to speak." 
 
 " Don't fall into that error," replied Lord 
 Swainton ; " for the president will have to give, 
 in the first place, a general view of the subject 
 under discussion ; and then, at the close, pre- 
 sent a resume of the whole debate." 
 
 " Oh then, yoii must be president, my lord," 
 said Sophia. 
 
 "Yes, yes, Lord Swainton president! — 
 Voted by acclamations ! " cried the merry 
 party; and his lordship was called to the 
 chair. 
 
 " Now then," said his lordship, " the presi- 
 dent must have pens, ink, and paper, and a 
 little hammer or bell to preserve order; for 
 though there are four belles present, 1 want 
 a ringing bell. Ah ! ah ! ah ! " 
 
 His lordship, on being provided with the 
 materials he wanted, then wrote a list of the
 
 312 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 subjects which he remembered to have been 
 discussed by his Cambridge club of Odd Fel- 
 lows, and from which the party present were 
 to select one for the evening's debate. If the 
 votes were equal, the president was to have the 
 casting voice. 
 
 List of Subjects for Debate at 
 MiLsoM Hall. 
 
 1st. — Why are cat's eyes green in the 
 dark ? 
 
 2nd. — Why are sea-gulls called Mother 
 Carey's chickens ? 
 
 3rd. — Why was Tenterden steeple the cause 
 of Goodwin Sands ? 
 
 4th. — Why do we generally go to sleep on 
 our left side ? 
 
 5th. — Whose hair is most frequently grey, 
 that of the ladies or the gentlemen ? 
 
 6th. — At what age are spinsters entitled to 
 the epithet of old maids ? 
 
 7th. — When is an unmarried man to be 
 regarded as an old bachelor ? 
 
 8th. — Why did Monboddo say that men 
 were monkeys with their tails cut off? 
 
 9th.-- What is it to " fall " into love ?
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 313 
 
 10th. — Why is beer of better flavour out of 
 pewter ? 
 
 11th. — Why are green glasses used only for 
 Bucellas, Hock, and Moselle ? 
 
 12th. — Why do the Chinese love birds-nest 
 soup ? 
 
 " What a droll list," said Lucy, as she 
 passed it, after having read it over, to Miss 
 Clapperton : " I know which I shall choose.'' 
 
 " And so do I," said Miss Clapperton, as 
 she handed it to Sophia. 
 
 " Well I cannot so soon determine, for I 
 am embarrassed between three of them,'* said 
 Sophia ; " but tell me, Edward, which do you 
 select ? " 
 
 Sir Edward whispered in the ear of Sophia, 
 when he had examined the list ; " I shall vote 
 for No. 9/' 
 
 So the votes were given as follows : — 
 
 Lucy, for No. 6. 
 
 Charlotte, for No. 7. 
 
 Sophia, for No. 9- 
 
 And Sir Edward, for the same number. 
 
 " No. 9 is the subject for discussion, ladies 
 and Sir Edward,'" said his lordship. " Allow 
 me to read it in your hearing." 
 
 VOL. I. P
 
 314 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " What is it to fall into love ? " 
 " Ladies and Sir Edward, 
 
 " Elected by your unanimous suffrages to 
 the high and responsible office of President 
 of the Milsom Hall Debating Club, allow me, 
 in the first place, to thank you for this proof 
 of your respect, (turning to Sir Edward,) and 
 of your love," (turning to the ladies). 
 
 " No, not love/' said Lucy ; " but respect 
 and admiration."" 
 
 " Beggars description ! " replied his lord- 
 ship ; " I am respected and admired — but 
 not loved. More of that anon." And then 
 his lordship continued his speech. 
 
 " And now having congratulated myself on 
 your respect and admiration, allow me to 
 felicitate you on the brilliant and numerous 
 assembly of rank, beauty, and fashion I see 
 before me. Who can wonder, however, that 
 when Sir Edward Clapperton, the able and 
 independent member for Warnstable, is our 
 host, all should rush at his bidding to this 
 animated scene.? (The Ladies," said Lord 
 Swainton, in an under tone, " pray be so good 
 as to wave your handkerchiefs in token of ani- 
 mated applause." This request was immedi-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 315 
 
 ately complied with, and the sweetest odours 
 perfumed the room. Lord Swainton again re- 
 sumed. 
 
 " But it is my duty to direct your attention 
 to the subject chosen for this evening's dis- 
 cussion, which is one full of interest, instruc- 
 tion, and romance. 
 
 " The subject is love : not your love (look- 
 ing at Sir Edward), nor my love (regarding 
 in their turn all the three ladies), but Love ! 
 Not the God of Love, though he is a most be- 
 witching fellow ! nor yet Miss Love, though 
 she is seraphic and sublime ! nor yet the Loves 
 of the Angels, though Tom Moore surprised 
 the Persians themselves with that poem, which 
 is now translated and sung by those of whom 
 he wrote ! But the subject is ' love.' The 
 abstract principle, ' love,' that sweetest of all 
 words in any language. But this is not all ; 
 not only are we called upon to dwell with 
 rapture on the word * love ;' but we are in- 
 vited to consider the ' falling' into love, or 
 the being drowned in love — or the first and 
 sudden impulse of love — or the being over head 
 and ears in love — or the having one's brain 
 turned with love — or the becoming in love
 
 316 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 without being a voluntary agent — or the being 
 absorbed by love so as not to know the dif- 
 ference between a cow and a cabbage-stalk, 
 or the being so occupied with the love of an 
 object as to walk over a cliff of some three 
 hundred feet high into the sea, and be literally 
 drowned without knowing it, or, mistaking 
 your mistress's eyes for fixed stars, and looking 
 at them through a night telescope. These are 
 *ome of the ablest and most modern definitions 
 of the material school ; but then come the other 
 class of thinkers, of the imaginative school ; and 
 they differ. In their opinion, to ' fall into 
 love,' means to become love ; to be love itself ; 
 just as fresh water falling into the sea would 
 soon be part of the sea, and become salt water : 
 two beauteous principles blended into one. 
 These philosophers maintain that when a man 
 falls into love, a sort of transmigration takes 
 place, by which the heart of one being takes 
 possession of the body and soul of the person 
 he loves, so that their affections become united 
 as one spirit : a process of moral alchymy re- 
 duces both their systems, by a series of in- 
 comprehensible affinities, to one essence, a moral 
 substance, called Love. These are, as you
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 317 
 
 are no doubt well aware, the two great contend- 
 ing systems on this all-important subject ; but 
 I feel that I am trespassing on your time, and 
 since our honourable host has had, as I am in- 
 formed, some experience on this head, 1 invite 
 him to commence the evening's discussions.""* 
 ("Bravo! bravo!" said the ladies; and this 
 time they did not forget to wave their hand- 
 kerchiefs.) 
 
 "My lord, — the President, — and ladies," 
 said Sir Edward, " I am an advocate for the 
 material, not the metaphysical or imaginative 
 view of this question. Far be it from me 
 to say that there is not much imagination 
 in the love of some persons; but I submit, 
 that they soar into love, fly into love, spring 
 into love, but never fall into love. It is 
 the falling into love which strikes me as being 
 essentially, indispensably material. When 
 some bewitching creature is first seen b}' you 
 at a private ball, on a race-ground, at a the- 
 atre, on a public walk, or in assembly-rooms, — 
 or, in fact, anywhere; and although you have 
 most important duties to attend to, journeys 
 to undertake, books to write, or perchance 
 (smiling at his lordship), even a contested elec-
 
 818 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 tion to prepare for ; — if, I say, the impression 
 produced on you is so great, so overpowering, 
 that business, books, pleasures, amusements, 
 and politics, all must be forsaken, and all 
 are forsaken by you, to watch even the smoke 
 proceeding from the chimney of the palace or 
 cottage, hall or humble dwelling where your 
 charmer resides ; and if neither the enjoyments 
 of the turf, of the theatre, of the table, of 
 gaming, of literature, nor of polite society, 
 have no longer any attraction for you, because 
 the idol of your soul is as yet unspoken to, 
 unasked, unwooed, — and because you know not 
 how to succeed in placing a letter in her hand, 
 or in throwing yourself at her feet, remain in 
 doubt whether she will bid you rise and live, 
 or sink and die; — that is what I call falling 
 into love. Forbid it, O ye graces and ye muses, 
 ye goddesses and ye cherubs, that such should 
 ever be my awful destiny ; but if, indeed, my 
 prayers are not to be granted, if this fall is to 
 be mine, oh, let me fall as softly and as surely 
 as may be ! Let, I pray you, the fair one hold 
 me not a slave ! Grant that at once she may set 
 me free, and assure me that she hath fallen in 
 love with me; and that thus, imaginatively, our
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 319 
 
 natures may be one !" (The ladies were vehe- 
 ment in their applause of Sir Edward, though 
 they did not all approve his doctrines, or adopt 
 his views.) 
 
 " Seniores pnores," said his lordship ; "which 
 means that Miss Charlotte Clapperton, as the 
 elder sister, is now requested to address the 
 meeting." 
 
 " My lord," said Charlotte, with an air of 
 assumed dignity, which she sustained well, 
 *' differing, as I do, wholly and entirely from 
 the last speaker, I confess that I am an advo- 
 cate of the imaginative school. No, my lord, I 
 cannot accept the definition given by the last 
 speaker. My view of falling into love is far 
 different. It is more ethereal ; it requires not 
 the foreign aid of ornament; it needs no let- 
 ter to convey its meaning, no cottage or palace 
 smoke to serve as a signal to its flames, — but 
 is the pure sentiment of a pure mind. When 
 a woman falls into love, my lord, she keeps her 
 own secret, allows ' concealment, like a worm i' 
 the bud, to prey on her damask cheek ;' — she 
 tells it not, — she conceals it even from herself, 
 — she feasts on it in her imagination, — but she 
 needs no personal presence or representation to
 
 320 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 excite her sympathies or to rouse her heart. 
 She reads a splendid poem ; she falls into 
 love with the author, whom she will probably 
 never see ; but she carries her love of him to the 
 tomb. She reads a novel, — she is captivated 
 with the hero of the tale,— she falls in love 
 with him ; but the hero may never have ex- 
 isted. For myself, I have fallen in love with 
 Jupiter; I mean the planet Jupiter. I know 
 not if ever I shall see his beauteous eyes again ; 
 but I hope I shall. Still, whether I do or not, 
 my heart is his. This is imagination, you will 
 tell me. I know it ; and this is precisely what is 
 meant by falling into love. The last speaker al- 
 luded to material objects. He spoke of balls, 
 race-grounds, theatres, and public walks. Such 
 a ' faller into love' as that gentleman, would 
 fall in love with a new waltz, with the winning 
 horse, on which he had bet thousands, and suc- 
 ceeded, — with a scene in an opera, or with 
 some favourite oak in a public park or pro- 
 menade. Away with such fallings into love as 
 this ! I, on the contrary, have fallen into love 
 with the blue sky of Italy, on which these 
 mortal eyes will probably never gaze; with 
 the shores of the south, which it is not likely
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 321 
 
 I shall ever tread ; with Venus, who never 
 lived ; and with Apollo, who never played. I 
 have fallen into love with all ; but I cannot 
 fall into love with that which I touch, see, 
 handle, know, and can every moment examine. 
 No ! I walk into love with these, and very 
 often indeed walk back again. This is my 
 opinion." (Very long and vehement cheering 
 followed this truly able and witty speech ; and 
 Miss Clapperton was congratulated by both 
 her male and female co-members on her tri- 
 umphant debut.) 
 
 When the applause and excitement had sub- 
 sided the president invited Miss Lucy Dawson 
 to favour the meeting with her opinions. 
 
 " My lord,'' exclaimed Miss Lucy, with an 
 air of affected astonishment, " I really am sur- 
 prised at the confusion of terms by the last 
 lady-speaker. What, my lord ! and brother 
 and sister members, are we to be told that a 
 book is not material ? that the planet Jupiter 
 is not material ? that the blue sky of Italy is 
 not material ? that the shores of the south are 
 not material? and that Venus, with her mirror, 
 and Apollo with his lyre, were not material ? 
 It is impossible, my lord, to listen to such 
 
 F 5
 
 322 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 absurdities as these without feeling one''s blood 
 curdle, and one's whole system revolt ! How 
 different is my system, and that of my honour- 
 able friend the member for Warnstable ! We 
 are perfectly consistent. Our theory and our 
 practice go hand-in-hand. When I see a 
 nice, clean, dapper, well-powdered, respectable 
 man, dressed all in black (that is essential, 
 for I never could fall in love with a man 
 who was not wholly and always dressed in 
 black), about fifty to sixty years of age, with 
 somewhat of a pale appearance, indicating 
 asthma, and yet with undoubted testimonials as 
 to character, virtue, and, above all, wealth ; 
 when I see such a man full of gold and silver, 
 bank-notes, and bank-stock, riding in a carriage 
 all by himself, whilst I am walking down the 
 Clapham-road, with the servant or a friend, on 
 a beautiful, broiling hot, dusty day, then, my 
 lord and fellow-members, I have no hesitation 
 in falling into love with such a character. Of 
 course, I presume him to be a bachelor. Of 
 course, I presume that he says to me, ' Divine 
 creature ! you are mistress, if you will, of 
 my fortune, my carriage, my farms, my 
 woods, my groves, my piano, my harp, my all !'
 
 THE TORY BARONET. S2S 
 
 and that I say to him (not meaning it), ' Oh, 
 you tiresome old fellow, how can you think I 
 will marry you !' Further, I presuppose that 
 he insists and implores, and prays and entreats ; 
 and then that I marry him ; and next that he 
 shall die at the end of six months, of his most 
 terrible asthma ; and then, that I shall have 
 everything left me, and be appointed sole exe- 
 cutrix. Then, indeed, I should fall in love 
 with such a man, and would never have^ his 
 portrait removed from the dining-room as long 
 as I lived. I might, indeed, follow up my de- 
 lineation further. I might say : and then, after 
 I had buried my beloved husband a year, and 
 had made myself fully acquainted with the 
 extent of my wealth, I might fall in love with 
 a man who was without a farthing, but with a 
 splendid title, agreeable manners, noble name, 
 chivalrous conduct, and gentlemanly and fa- 
 shionable tastes, and marry him in spite of 
 his poverty or his age. Such a man I might 
 fall in love with, but with no other. Now, 
 both of these are cases of material love ; and 
 this is the system I adopt and prefer." 
 
 "Bravo! Bravo! Bravissimo !"" cried Lord 
 Swainton. " This beggars description ! The
 
 324 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 best speeches I ever heard in my life are those 
 I have listened to this evening.*" 
 
 The other members were also warm in their 
 eulogies. When silence was again restored, the 
 president called on Miss Sophia Clapperton, 
 who began as follows : — 
 
 " ' Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, 'tis love 
 Which makes the world go round.' 
 
 " But not materially so, my lord and you la- 
 dies and Sir Edward. We all know that this is 
 not affected by love, but by the laws of nature ,• 
 and even the lady-speaker who has preceded 
 me, with all her love of gold, carriages, powder- 
 ed wigs, and old gentlemen, would surely not 
 maintain that love meant the laws of nature. 
 No, Mr. President, let us not be led astray by 
 such sophisms as those of the first and third 
 speaker, but let us rather follow the happy in- 
 spirations of the second. It is needless, then, 
 that I should inform you that I belong to the 
 imaginative school. A crust of oaten bread, a 
 few cresses from the limpid spring, the dew of 
 heaven to slake my thirst, and a stone covered 
 with moss for my pillow, are sufficient for my 
 material frame. I fall into love with the being 
 who lives on nature, whose soul feasts on ex-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. S25 
 
 change of sentiments and of tastes — not phy- 
 sical tastes, but the tastes of the heart. I fall 
 into love with the being whose soul is poetry 
 and whose voice is music. Perhaps such a 
 being 1 shall never see. Surely I have never 
 seen him. But my fancy has created him ; 
 my heart has imagined him ; and if he does 
 not exist, at least I have fallen in love with 
 him. To fall into love is not, then, the jog- 
 trot, every-day feeling as described by the last 
 speaker, but the soul's supreme approbation of 
 something imaginary rather than real. The 
 half-mad poet, who rushes from the haunts of 
 men, and sends to some bookseller, to whom 
 he is unknown, the lucubrations of his mind, 
 written in a cave or a grot long ere the sun 
 has shed his rays on the landscape around ; 
 that is the man we fall in love with, though 
 we have never seen him. Oh, man ! man ! 
 little do you know the heart of wo — man ; 
 and woe to you that you do not. As to your 
 falling into love, I should as soon dream of a 
 man falling upwards, falling towards the sun 
 instead of towards the earth, if let out of a 
 balloon, as falling in love with any one but 
 himself. Before you can fall into love you
 
 326 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 must know what love is, and that is only known 
 by woman. I vote for the imaginative view of 
 the question." 
 
 Three peals of laughter succeeded this brief 
 but vigorous attack on that sex to which his 
 lordship and Sir Edward belonged ; and when 
 the laughing had subsided, Lord Swainton de- 
 clared that it " beggared description !" He said 
 this four times, which meant that he was in 
 earnest. 
 
 "Now, then, my lord," said Sir Edward, 
 " now for your summing up." 
 
 " Oh ! yes," exclaimed Charlotte, '* now it 's 
 his lordship's turn." 
 
 " Silence — silence, for my lord," said Lucy, 
 in her bewitching way ; and his lordship com- 
 menced as follows : — 
 
 " When the clappers of such pretty bells 
 demand silence, one almost regrets that silence 
 is obtained. Such music is the most delight- 
 ful I ever heard. 
 
 " The meeting of this evening has been most 
 satisfactory. The talent which it has elicited 
 is of the highest order, and may truly be 
 said to ' beggar description.' I have listened 
 in the course of my life to Burke, Pitt, Fox,
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 327 
 
 Canning, Brougham, Peel, and I know not 
 who else besides ; but never did I hear from 
 their lips anything surpassing the wit, poetry, 
 imagination, and taste of our female orators. 
 Of our good Sir Edward it is necessary to 
 say no more than that he has indeed given fair 
 promise for his future fame at St. Stephen's. 
 
 '' But what shall I say on the subject-mat- 
 ter of debate ? There have been two speakers 
 on the material, and two on the imaginative 
 side of this question. As president, I must 
 pronounce in favour of one ; and yet how greatly 
 am I embarrassed! 
 
 " Sir Edward has told you of bewitching 
 creatures at private balls, race-grounds, thea- 
 tre, and assembly-rooms. Oh ! how many rise 
 before my memory, — and yet you ladies eclipse 
 them all. This is material not imaginative — 
 and I own I have fallen into love." 
 
 (" Ha ! ha ! ha !" shouted Lucy, who was the 
 very queen of laughter, as her pretty ringlets 
 hung on either side of her head.) 
 
 " Miss Charlotte has told you of hidden 
 love, of secret love, of the love of ideas, and 
 of the creations of one's own imaginings; but 
 would not this falling into love be rather
 
 S28 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 ideal than real? And can we fall (which is 
 a material act) into an immaterial action ! 
 
 " Miss Lucy Dawson has made you smile 
 with her notions of falling into love ! but how 
 did we all sympathize with her when she spoke 
 of carriages, gold, estates, farms, woods, and 
 asthmatic husbands. I only regretted that 
 black was indispensable, for I never wear 
 it. Ha ! ha ! ha ! beggars description. 
 
 " Miss Sophia was eminently happy in her 
 illustrations, though I fear her soul will be 
 long ere it finds such another as itself; for 
 men who fall into love generally prefer good 
 pillows to moss stones, claret and champagne 
 to limpid springs or the dews of heaven, and 
 a young widow with a large estate to a pretty 
 maiden without a shilling. And yet, 
 
 * Oh 'tis love, 'tis love, 'tis love, 
 "Which makes this world go round.' 
 
 "I give the casting vote for the material 
 view of this question. Ah ! ah ! ah ! eh ! eh ! 
 eh ! beggars description ! ""* 
 
 The ladies withdrew. The gentlemen soon 
 joined them. It was long after one o'clock 
 ere the party separated ; and when Lord Swain-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. ti29 
 
 ton gained his room, and gazed once more on 
 the box, which he had locked up in a cup- 
 board, with 3000 sovereigns in it, he exclaimed, 
 with all his heart " Beggars description !" and 
 with this phrase on his lips he went to sleep.
 
 330 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 " A gamester, the greater master he is in his art, the 
 worse man he is." 
 
 The next morning the breakfast-table was 
 surrounded at ten o'clock. After breakfast was 
 over, Lord Swainton proposed " that they 
 should get to business," and the ladies offered 
 to retire. But his lordship, who knew well 
 how good a thing it was to have ladies loith 
 you on all occasions, and how much depends 
 on their espousing your cause, invited them to 
 remain. Sir Edward, however, made a well- 
 understood sign to Sophia, to leave the room 
 with Lucy, as he had no desire to talk about 
 Warnstable before her. 
 
 "Oh ! they are only going to talk politics,"" 
 said Sophia to Lucy, " and that will not
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 331 
 
 amuse us. Charlotte, perhaps, will remain, 
 but come you with me, and let us practise our 
 new duet." 
 
 " With all my heart," replied Lucy ; " good 
 day, amiable trio of stern politicians." 
 
 '* Sweet girl, lovely creature, angelic simpli- 
 city, beggars description!" said his lordship, 
 as Lucy left the room. 
 
 " Well, Sir Edward,'' continued his lord- 
 ship, " all looks prosperous at Warnstable. A 
 man of a little influence in those parts, my 
 old friend Captain Smallman, had some notion 
 of starting. As soon as I learned it, I pro- 
 ceeded to Exeter, convinced him that a Whig 
 candidate would have no chances in the bo- 
 rough— -paid some expenses he had incurred — 
 and obtained his promise not to proceed further." 
 
 "Did you, indeed?"' said Miss Charlotte; 
 " really, my lord you must allow me to express 
 how truly sensible we all are of your lord- 
 ship's kindness ; such disinterestedness and de- 
 votedness are indeed, rare." 
 
 " Say nothing about that, I beg of you ; 
 for my part, I feel that all the obligations are 
 on the other side."
 
 3S2 TEIE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " Oh ! that is really too much,'* replied Sir 
 Edward ; *' I only regret that I have no possi- 
 ble means of showing my gratitude to your 
 lordship."" 
 
 " Well, but let me tell you what I have 
 done," said Lord Swainton, who then pulled 
 out of his side coat-pocket a mass of foolscap 
 paper, on which were written the address of Sir 
 Oscar to his constituents containing his resig- 
 nation ; the letter to the Chancellor of the Ex- 
 chequer applying for the Chiltern Hundreds ; 
 and a request to the Home Secretary to move 
 for a new writ for the Borough of Warnstable. 
 Besides this, his lordship had drawn out for Sir 
 Edward Clapperton an address to the electors, 
 also advertisements and leading articles for 
 the provincial papers, and paragraphs or puffs 
 for the London Press. In fact all was, " cut 
 and dried C and as his lordship had ascertained 
 from the landlord of the hotel, and agent at 
 the borough in question, what were his opinions 
 and those of the majority of electors on all 
 leading questions, he had taken care to frame 
 Sir Edward's address so as to meet all possible 
 contingencies. It was as follows : —
 
 THE TORY BARONET. S33 
 
 " TO THE WORTHY AND INDEPENDENT ELECTORS 
 OF THE BOROUGH OF WARNSTABLE. 
 
 " The resignation of your late esteemed 
 and respected representative, Sir Oscar Mor- 
 bleu, has once more led to a vacancy in your 
 ancient and truly patriotic borough. Again 
 are you called on to tread in the steps of 
 your illustrious ancestors, from the period 
 of Athelstan and Henry I. downwards, and 
 to select a representative in parliament. I 
 hasten to offer myself for that honour. Pos- 
 sessed of ample fortune, health, and a desire to 
 serve my country and promote the good old 
 cause of Church and King, Church and State, 
 I flatter myself that I shall not prove myself 
 unworthy of your choice. Brought up a mer- 
 chant and manufacturer, I understand your 
 local interests, and shall know how to defend 
 them. Your port needs improving, and it shall 
 be improved. Your theatre needs ornament- 
 ing, and 1 will never have it said that a town, 
 distinguished as the birth-place of an author, 
 of a poet, and a dramatist, shall have a theatre
 
 384 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 unworthy of itself. Your woollen-trade must 
 be revived. Your baize, silk-stocking, and 
 waistcoat manufactories must be encouraged. 
 Your new member must patronize your balls, 
 give new life to your select and admirable so- 
 ciety, and support all the charitable institutions 
 of your town. 
 
 " But besides this, he will defend the throne, 
 oppose all wild and mad schemes of change, 
 under the name of 'reform,' endeavour to ob- 
 tain the repeal of the Catholic Emancipation 
 Bill, call for new protection to our foreign 
 trade, and for a reduction on the duty upon 
 foreign corn. We must have cheap bread, 
 cheap custom duties, and foreign markets and 
 ports opened to us in every direction. 
 
 " But above and before all things, I will 
 defend your ancient privileges and hereditary 
 rights. I will assert on all occasions the purity, 
 patriotism, primitive privileges, and piety of 
 the electors of Warnstable ; and no one shall 
 ever dare to attempt to deprive you of your 
 old and dear franchises. 
 
 " The corn-laws must be revised ; commer- 
 cial treaties must be signed with foreign pow- 
 ers ; the Church must be defended, that ancient
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 335 
 
 and best barrier of all our most sacred rights ; 
 and, in one word, I will seek to preserve to you 
 and to the country all that is good and valuable 
 in our most glorious constitution, at the same 
 time joining the government in any prudent 
 measures it may propose, provided they are 
 such as will conduce to your advantage, 
 
 " I have the honour to remain, 
 " Gentlemen, 
 " Your devoted, obedient and very humble 
 servant, 
 " E. Clapperton, Bart." 
 " Claplmni Hall, London." 
 
 " Will that do ? " asked his lordship, as he 
 concluded reading the address. 
 
 *' I think it will indeed ! *' replied Sir Ed- 
 ward. 
 
 " Oh, it 's admirable ! " exclaimed Miss Char- 
 lotte ; " really admirable !" 
 
 " There is one point, however," said Sir Ed- 
 ward, "on which I should like to have your 
 opinion, my lord, and that is, about decorating 
 the theatre; do you not think that looks some- 
 thing like bribery ? Besides which, the ex- 
 pense might be considerable."
 
 3S6 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 " You can do it for five hundred pounds, 
 Sir Edward ; that small expense will secure 
 your seat for life ; not for one parliament only, 
 but for life, or until you may be raised to the 
 peerage. The fact is, that the Warnstable 
 people are very fond of theatrical amusements, 
 and if you only please them in this matter your 
 popularity will be greater than that of any 
 man ever known there before. Beggars de- 
 scription ! " 
 
 " But do you not think it would be bribery 
 to say so beforehand ? Do it, if you will, but 
 say nothing about it in the address." 
 
 " You are wrong. Sir Edward ! At all 
 events, promise it, and we can afterwards con- 
 sult Serjeant Sadface on the question." 
 
 " Should we not consult him at once, then, 
 my lord, whether it be bribery or not, since, 
 what once I have promised I must fulfil ?" 
 
 '• O fiddle-de-dee," said his lordship. "Elec- 
 tion promises are like pie-crust, Sir Edward, 
 made to be broken." 
 
 Sir Edward looked as if he was not of this 
 opinion, but said no more, as his lordship 
 promised to consult Serjeant Sadface the next 
 week.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 337 
 
 " And now I must take leave of you for the 
 rest of the day until dinner-time," said his lord- 
 ship. " I have many calls to make ; and as we 
 have had a heavy fall of snow I shall have some 
 difficulty in climbing about." 
 
 " My carriage is at your service," replied 
 Sir Edward. 
 
 His lordship declined the offer, with many 
 thanks, as he knew full well that he had to 
 climb up streets too steep to allow a carriage 
 to pass. 
 
 Lord Swainton's visits were to his play-cre- 
 ditors. He started with 200/. in his pocket, 
 and he expected to return without a shilling. 
 He owed 300/. in all ; but he had not the heart 
 to pay all the same day. He called on a 
 Colonel Shortpoint, who had sworn to insult 
 him in the Pump-room publicly if he did not 
 pay him the 60/. he owed him. The interview 
 was short and striking. 
 
 Lord Swainton. — Shortpoint, I think I owe 
 you a trifle ? 
 
 Shortpoint. — I know you do. 
 
 Lord Swainton. — How much is it ? 
 
 Shortpoint. — 60/.; but I 'il let you off with 
 50/., money down, and no bills. 
 
 VOL. I. Q
 
 S'S8 THE TORY BAROiNET. 
 
 Lord Swainton. — Here they are, throwing 
 the 50 sovereigns on the table. 
 
 Shortpoint. — My dear Swainton, how long 
 have you been at Bath ? 
 
 Lord Swainton. — Twenty-four hours. 
 
 Shortpoint. — When will you come and see 
 me? 
 
 Lord Swainton. — I have come now ; but 
 I must take my leave, for I have other visits 
 to make. 
 
 Shortpoint. — I always said you were an 
 honourable fellow, and would pay. 
 
 Lord Swainton. — Not always, I think ; but 
 never mind ; beggars description ! 
 
 The next play-creditor he called upon was 
 Captain Oblivious ; who always forgot when he 
 lost, but was most inexorable when he won. 
 No one had spoken so ill of Lord Swainton 
 in Bath as he had. 
 
 Lord Swainton. — I Ve just looked in to pay 
 you the 15/. I owe you. Captain, and to renew 
 our acquaintance. 
 
 Captain. — Oh ! my dear Swainton, I am 
 sorry you should have given yourself so much 
 trouble as to think of me, I had quite for-
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 339 
 
 gotten you owed me anything, and, if even 
 I had remembered it, I should have thought 
 it quite as safe in your hands as in mine. 
 
 Lord Swainton. — Who is here, just now ? 
 I am down with a sort of city man and his 
 family; good kind of people enough, — rich, 
 generous, and so on ; — but who 's here ? 
 
 Captain. — Why, your terrible foe. Lady 
 Muchberry. 
 
 Lord Swainton. — Is she, indeed ? 
 
 Captain. — I heard her say that young Clap- 
 perton in Milsom Street, who has just come 
 down, was a friend of yours, and that she 
 would take good care to set him against you. 
 I fancy you owe her a trifle, and some one 
 or other told her that you denied it ; this has 
 made her very spiteful. She says you owe her 
 40/. I would advise you to settle the matter, 
 for she might annoy you. 
 
 "Thank you, thank you !" said his lordship, 
 and he then took leave of the Captain. 
 
 " My lady," said Lord Swainton, who met 
 her at the door, just stepping into her carriage 
 to make a call at Sir Edward Clapperton*s> 
 though the streets were slippery and the wind
 
 340 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 cold, " I have just called to give the lie to 
 some impudent fellow, who, I understand, said 
 that I did not owe your ladyship 40/. ; and 
 the best way of giving him the lie is to pay 
 my debt ;" at the same time handing over that 
 sum in gold. 
 
 " Oh, my lord," replied Lady Muchberry, 
 " I never believed the man who told me so. 
 I knew you would pay me. We are all 
 pinched in our turns. I have lost a great 
 deal lately, and this sum, small though it 
 be, is very acceptable for some of the dirty 
 tradesmen's bills. Which way are you going ? 
 By the bye, I am going to call on some friends 
 of yours, the Miss Clappertons. They tell me 
 that they are very nice people. I once met 
 their father at Sir Charles Stilton's at Still 
 Hill. Are you going that way ? " 
 
 " Yes, I am," replied his lordship, " and 
 will accompany you to their house. They 
 are nice artless girls, very fond of life, and 
 wish to be introduced into society, and all that 
 sort of thing. No one can be of more use 
 to them than your ladyship." 
 
 *' Say, rather, than yourself, my lord, for
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 341 
 
 I really should not have thought of calling on 
 them, had not some one told me you knew 
 them, and that was a guarantee to me that they 
 were comme ilfaut.'''' 
 
 " A precious mess I *ve escaped,'** said 
 Lord Swainton, to himself; " two minutes, nay 
 one minute later, and I should have been 
 ruined. As sure as the sun is the sun, he 
 would have given up all idea of the borough, 
 and insisted on the return of the second 3000/; 
 beggars description ! " 
 
 " Will you allow me to introduce your lady- 
 ship to Sir Edward and the Miss Clapper- 
 tons ? " asked his lordship in his most winning 
 way. 
 
 '* Will I allow you, indeed ?" replied her 
 ladyship ; " why what could be more gratifying 
 to my feelings than to be so introduced ? I 
 am sure I shall be greatly indebted to you." 
 
 The carriage of Lady Muchberry drove up 
 to the door of Sir Edward, and Lord Swainton 
 assisted her ladyship to alight. 
 
 " Ladies, I have the high honour, and 
 the great gratification of presenting to you 
 my valued and highly-esteemed friend. Lady
 
 342 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 Muchberry, the life, soul, and admiration of 
 the best society in Bath, and not only in 
 Bath, but in every place that she condescends 
 to enliven by her presence." 
 
 " Young ladies," said Lady Muchberry, 
 "don't you believe his lordship; he is much 
 too good, too kind, and too indulgent. You 
 are fortunate, indeed, in having him for 
 your chaperon^ for when he is not in Bath, 
 we are as dull as you would be without your 
 beaux." 
 
 The young ladies smiled, Sir Edward felt 
 delighted; he had often heard of Lady Much- 
 berry, and his father, who had seen her once 
 at Still Hill, had always spoken of her after- 
 wards as the most fashionable woman he ever 
 saw ; and there she was before him. 
 
 " I once met your father at my old friend's. 
 Sir Charles Stilton's, Sir Edward," said her 
 ladyship. 
 
 4. " My father frequently spoke of that day 
 with delight," replied Sir Edward. 
 
 " Oh, yes, Lady Muchberry," said Miss 
 Charlotte ; " I well remember your name, 
 and feel much honoured by your visit." 
 
 A few more civilities were exchanged.
 
 THE TORY BARONET. 34^ 
 
 Lady Muchberry " would be most happy to 
 do all that could be agreeable to them at 
 Bath ;" and then Sir Edward and Lord 
 Swainton both accompanied her to her car- 
 riage. ' The former returned to his sisters, 
 but his lordship entered the carriage with her, 
 and " begged for another lift." 
 
 " Charming woman,'' said Miss Charlotte. 
 
 " And so fashionable," said Miss Sophia. 
 
 " And so obliging," added Miss Lucy. 
 
 "Yes, it is very agreeable to come out 
 under such patronage as that of Lady Much- 
 berry and Lord Swainton.*' 
 
 " It is, indeed,*' said the three young ladies, 
 simultaneously. 
 
 Lord Swainton being now perfectly recon- 
 ciled to Lady Muchberry, and knowing her 
 strong partiality to good dinners, excellent 
 wines, and the ne plus ultra of liqueurs, " hoped 
 she would dine at the Clappertons before he 
 left for London ;" and her ladyship request- 
 ed him " to manage that with his usual talent 
 and amiability.*' 
 
 His lordship then took leave of her, visited 
 the rest of his play-creditors, found them all 
 at home, made his peace with every one who
 
 344 THE TORY BARONET. 
 
 could have injured him, dined with joy and 
 
 in high spirits at the Clappertons, and felt 
 
 more at ease than he had done for the last 
 five years. 
 
 END OF THE FIRST VOLUME. 
 
 LONDON 
 PRINTED BY SAMUEL BENTLEV, 
 
 Bangor House, Shoe Lane.
 
 UNIVERSrTY OF ILLINOM-URBANA 
 
 3 0112 056504928