S2.3_ No Plays Exchangred* Just Published—Parlor Pantomine.-J Parts. Price 26 Cents Eac'? m No. LXXIX. THE MINOR DRAMA. THE SWISS COTTAGE: WHY DON’T SHE MARRY? A MUSICAL BURLETTA, IN TWO ACTS. BY THOMAS HAYNES BAYLY. WITH CAST OP CHARACTERS, STAGE BUSINESS, COSTUMES, RELATIVE POSITIONS, &c., &0. AS PERFOKl Butiand’s Music Store. Headauarters for Musical iDslrunieuts, Sheet Music, Play Books and all kinds of JNIusical Trimmings. 3? uiiig Street West, TOilOMTtl. \L THEATRES. TOfKSfckTO; R. B. 1 A 9 tn *D T7 *1? tn 37 King Street West. Htasgie Mitcliell’s Plays.-TineHOi^ The Criwet— Wild Irish Girl— L rr,: Barefoot — Pearl of Savoy^ — Katty O Sheal. . ...g Anything on this cover sent by mail on receipt ofpnce. v". ' 'V '■ FRENCH’S ajt acti'ns ISOition. No. LXXIX. THE SWISS COTTAGE; OR, ¥HT DON’T SHE MARRY? A MUSICAL BUELETTA, IN TWO ACTS. BY THOMAS HAYNES BAYLY, OF ‘‘ ONE HOUR, OR THE OARNIVAL BALL FORTY j AND fifty;” ‘‘comfortable service;” “sold fob I A SONG,” ETC. ETC* TO WHICH ARE ADDED, A !)escription of the Costtini'e — Cast of the Characters — Entrances and Exit»— Relative Positions of the Performers on the Stage, and the whole of the Stage Business. A PERFORMED AT THE ROYAL OLYMPIC THEATRE, LONDOR, AND AMERICAN THEATRES. i NEW YOBK: SAMUEL FRENCH, PUBLISHER, < 122 Nassau Street, (Up Stairs.) i ®ast of tje ©tavacters. — T he iSwiss Cottag» y ^ a g I 5 - W £ n« a® '* <. a • PQ Q M 3 ^ ^ O O t Oh^P^O cq S a W pq fP s. ^ .a c-C r 2 «i ^ ^ C "q ^>5 •il o o-js ^ ^ I 8 •5 Cb ad W O <1 H L. means First Entrance^ Left. R. First Entrance^ Right. S. E. L. Second Entrance, Left. S. E. R. Second En- trance, Right. U. E. L. Upper Entrance, Left. U. E. R. Upper Entrance, Right. C. Centre. L. C. Left Centre. R. C. Right of Centre. T. E L. Third Entrance, Left. T. E. R. Third Entrance, Right. C. D. Centre Door. D. R. Dooj Right. D. L. Door Left. U. I). L. Upper Door, Left. U. D. R. Upper Doo^, Right The Reader is supposed to be on the Stage, facing the Audience. C 0 S t u m e. — The Swiss Cottage. NATZ. — Yellow nankeen jacket, with puffs, full breeches to match- striped stockings — blue striped shirt — shoes and straw hat. Max — F rench corporal’s fatigue jacket — white pants. — ^black gaiters^ foraging cap. V SOLDIERS — Similar to Max PEASANTS — French jackets, breeches, &c. LISETTE — Blue bodice — red French petticoat — striped ^tocking»w shoes, &c. THE SWISS COTTAGE: OR, ¥HY DON’T SHE MARRY! SCENE I. — The interior of a Swiss cottage — a door on each side of he stage, and a large centre door, which being open, the mountains a‘,e visible — Tables, chair, a large arm chair, and a little three-legged smol Enter Swiss Peasants, male and female — Janet and Louise in the front. CHORUS, Natz has got the letter, He will soon be here ; Ere he comes, ’tis better We should disappear. Let us go ; — hereafter We will all be gay ; Now a fit of laughter Would the jest betray. Janet. And now, pray tell me, why you are all so merry T Louise. I thought you knew all about it. Listen. You know how long poor Mr. Natz Teik has sighed for the hand of Lisette, and sighed in vain : well, to-day he has received an avowal of her affection, and a promise that she will marry him. Jan. From herself! Louise. He thinks, poor man, they come from herself But there lies the joke ; we wrote the letter, and sent it to him. Jan. Oh, poor fellow, I pity him ; he will die when he discovers the t rick ; here he comes, and how elated he seems — I can scarce help aughing. Louise. Come, — he must not see us laugh ; and if he asks for our congratulations, we shall never keep our countenances. Come, away, [Exeunt Louise, Janet, and Peasants at centre, L. Enter Natz at centre, r. in ecstacy, nodding to Peasants as he passes them. THE 'SWISS COTTAGE, 5 i^atz. She is min^! She is my own dear little pet Lisette, after all - i can scarcely contain myself — I could walk up the mountain in three stiides— I could jump over the moon — who would have thought it 1 — so cold, so cruel, so indifferent about me ; and now to write me a letter, all of her own accord, telling me she doats upon me, and longs to be my wife ! [kissing the letter.] I must read it again, [reads.] ‘ Dear Mr. Natz, I can no longer help telling you that I love you’ [he struts about, adjusting his dress.] She can’t help it ! — hem — I am a happy fellow-r-I’m richer than any young man in the village ; but thatdadi not influence her. No, no, She knew it when she used to snub me ; for I told her how many cows I had, and how much milk they gave me. But it wasn’t the cows — it wasn’t the milk — it wasn’t the money ; she loves me for myself — it was my figure ! — and what a beautiful creature she is — so elegant ! Ah, 1 hear her voice — she is coming down the mountain path — I’m all flutter and agitation — I’ll stand aside and look at her for a minute or two, and then I shall have courage to speak. ■ [Exit at door, p. s. Enter Lisette at centre door, singing, her Swiss basket at her hack — unfastens her basket, and puts it on table at the back of the stage, SONG. Light is my heart, lighter than ever — Here is my home, and I’m content ; Why should I wed — never, oh never All the long day I should repent. Oh delightful hour ! I’m in Pleasure’s bower — Every where a flower Springs up in my way ; No dull spouse to teaze me, Or with frowns to freeze me, All men strive to please me — Happy, happy day ! Natz, who has been peeping, advances. his. Bless me, Mr. Natz, you here. Nat. [embarrassed.] Yes, Miss Lisette — hem. [aside.] How my heart flutters — pit pat ! [aloud.] I — I wonder you are surprised to see me — you understand 1 Lis, No, indeed, I don’t. Nat. The only wonder is, that you were not here to receive me ! hey 1 Lis. Come, I like that ! What assurance ! The preceptor told me he had a letter for me — I knew it coul.l only be from my brother, and I set off at day-break to fetch it. Here it is. Nat. [embarrassed] Oh, a letter! Ah, yes, from your brother. [aside.] I wanted to talk about her own letter to me. [aloud.] Hem — you were speaking of your brother — I hope he’s not killed '! Lis. How can he be killed, stupid, when he has written me a letter I 6 THE SWISS COTTAGE. ^ Nat. True — it. couldn’t be that he wrote about ,'Tut don’t say stupid • — I don’t quite know what I’m saying. Lis. So it seems. Oh, my dear, dear brother. It is fifteen years since he left us, but it seems to me but yesterday. My father and mother were old, and rny brother called me, and took me on his lap, and gave me a kiss. Nat. {a side. ^ Happy man ! Lis. “ Good bye, dear Lisette,” said he ; “I am going to the wars, and perhaps I shan’t see you again till I dance at your wedding.” Nat. [rubbing his hands.'\ Ah ! then it’s all right. Lis. How, sir ! '^hat do you mean by al. right 1 Nat. Why, that is to say — I don’t exactly know — because, if he don’t come to-day, I shall never have patience to wait his return, nor you neither. Lis. Patience ! — why, what do you mean 1 Nat. [nodding.^ We can’t put olF our wedding. Lis. Our wedding 1 What possesses you to speak to me in this confident way 1 — are you out of your senses'? Nat. Nearly so, and no wonder. This letter — this dear letter ; it’s not from my brother, and it's not from my sister, for I’ve got neither one nor t’other, but it’s from a person I love better than all the world. Lis. And pray, sir, who has written you this wonderful letter 1 Nat. Ah, you pretend not to know. I declare you do it very well — very well indeed. I can’t think how people can make believe like that. Ha, ha ! Very well, 1 declare. Lis. What can you mean '? Nat. [flurried.^ Why — w'hy this is your own letter, to be sure — your promise to marry me to-day — look at your own signature — [refl.d~ ing.] “ Your’s most affectionately — Lisette.” Lis. [snatching the letter '\ Affectionately ! Nonsense, sir, you’re bewitched — I don’t understand all this, and I can neither read nor write. Nat. [in amazement.'] Not write Lis. No — that is — I certaiwly can write my own name. Nat. [delighted.] That’s enough — you signed it. Lis. Stop a bit. I certainly can write my own name ; but when I have done it, and very nicely too, it don’t look a bit like that ; no, that’s not my I — mine are beautiful I’s. Nat. It’s not possible that this is a hoax. If I’ve been imposed upon I shall die. Lis. [angry.] Die ! I can’t help it, sir — it’s no affair of mine — I know nothing about it — this 1 know, that I never wrote that letter. Nat. I shall go distracted — mad — I know I shall ; I feel myself going mad by little and little — I shall be furious in a minute, [going to cry.] — and if I arn, wbo will care — not Miss Lisette ! Lis. \aside.'\ Poor fellow ! — I see it all ; it’s a joke of the village boys and girls. [aloiLd.] Never mind, Natz : never mind — they thought to annoy you and me, and perhaps to make us quarrel ; — never you mind, they shall sec us better friends than ever. 7 k THE SWISS COTTAGE. Nat. [in a pcf] No, I won’t — I won’t be friends with anybody — I’ll burn the village. Lis. Oh, for shame ! Nat, [sobbing.'] And I’ll throw myself into the lake, and I — won’t — let — anybody — fish me out. Lis. What nonsense you do talk. Nat. [a5 if suddenly recollecting.] Oh law ! do you know that I’ve sent invitations round to all my neighbors to ask them to our wedding. I’ve ordered the music — I’ve ordered the supper — I’ve ordered every thing. Lis. [frightened ] Oh, my goodness, what’s to become of me 1 Nat. I’ve uncorked every bottle of wine in my cellar. Lis, You had better go home and drink it. Nat. I’ve killed an ox, ma’am, and I can’t eat that — it was big enough to eat me — and I’ve killed ;wo sheep — and I’ve killed all my cocks and hens — and I’ve done worse than that Oh dear me — a faintness comes over me — I went to the attorney Lis. Law ! you havn’t killed him ! Nat. No ; but, whilst I waited, I made him draw up a marriage set- tlement, which gives you all that I possess. Here it is, signed by me ; and I thought your signature would go just there, but now — Oh I shall be the laughing stock of the whole neighborhood. Lis. And I, too ! — that’s worse. Was there ever such provoking im- pertinence ! to write a letter in my name ! Nat. [timidly.] Yes, and I believed it because I wished it but now, if you would but consent to turn the joke against them, and let us have the wedding in earnest. Lis. How do you mean I Nat. [very bashful.] If you would only write your name at the bot- tom of this page. Lis. Only write my name — a likely story ! — why then, you know, I should be obliged to marry you. Nat. And that’s precisely what I want. Lis. Hold your tongue, sir, and never presume to mention the subject again ; I have vowed I won’t, and — and — 1 wonH — there now. Nat. Why not I Lis. I say, sir. I’ve vowed that I won’t marry. Nat. Yes, but then — why notl Lis. Why not ! Listen, and I’ll tell you. SONG. LIBERTY FOR ME. Here, in my own secluded dwelling, The charm is this, — that I am free ; If I wed — oh, sir, there is no telling How very gruff my spouse may be. And that I’m sure would not suit me. For if I laugh he’ll think it wrong, And bid me hold my tongue. 8 THE SWISS COTTAGE, 4 Liberty for me — No man’s wife I’ll be ; Liberty for me — I’ll be ever free. I have been told how wives are slighted, And no rude man shall use me so ; If I wed— when to some dance invited, I have no doubt he would say “ no — My dear, stay here — you shall not go'' But if he tried to clip my wing, I’m sure I still should sing — Liberty for me, &c. Nat. [angry and mimicking.^ Liberty for me, indeed ! If you must sing. Miss Lisette, sing sense. I wish, instead of singing or talking either, you’d act like a reasonable being. Lis. What would you have me do I Nat, Take a husband. Lis. No, no — not I — why should 1 1 Nat. He will love and protect you. Lis. Oh dear, there’s no necessity for that — you love me, you know — don’t you 1 You’ve told me so a hundred times. Nat. [delighted.'] Yes, so I have and it’s true. Lis. Very well — and if I were in danger, would not you protect me 1 Nat. Yes, that I would. Lis. Well, then, there’s no necessity for a husband to love and pro- tect me. I don’t mean to marry. If I married anybody. I’d marry you ; for you’re a good little man, with an excellent little heart, and a cosey little farm. Nat. Oh, I’m delighted. Lis. Yes, yes — but I don't mean to marry anybody ; so there’s an end of that. But come here, I want you to do me a little service : read me my dear brother’s letter. Nat. [takes letter.] That I will — it is the second letter I’ve read to- day — heigho ! — well, well, listen, [reading.] — “ Camp of Prince Charles, June 1st.” — and now we are in the middle of July ! Lis. I suppose the letter has been detained ; there has been an en- gagement since then, and they have been intercepted. Nat. [reading.] “ Dearest Lisette.” [looks sentimentally round at her, and repeats the words.] Dearest Lisette Ids. Go on — you’ve said that before. Nat. [reading.] Yes, often — “ Nothing new to tell you, always fight ing ; but I hope soon to get a short leave of absence, and shall hasten to see you.” Ids. Soon ! and that letter was written more than a month ago ! My j)oor brother ! after fifteen years, how happy I shall be to see you. Nat. [reading.] “ But you must not expect to see me at any particu- lar time, and I am sadly disappointed to learn that there is no chance at present of my being greeted by a little regiment of nephews and nieces. Why don’t you marry 1” [looking round at her.] Hem! you THE SWISS COTTAGE. 9 hear — your brother says “ Why don’t you marry V' — you really ought — • Lis. How dare you ! read the letter if you please, and no comments — go on. Nat. Aye, that I will — there was no stop there, [reading.] “ Why don’t you marry Natz I” — Hem ! — He would make you an excellent husband, and has proposed for you.” Lis. Who presumed to write him that bit of gossip, I should like to know 1 Nat. {timidly.] I did, two months ago. Lis. Without my permission ! Nat. Ma’am, I thought it my duty Lis. How vexatious ! go on. Nat. {reading.] “ It appeared to me a good marriage — man of res- pectable family — good fortune — and devotedly attached to you — ” There, you see what your brother says — shall I read that bit again 1 [Lisette turns her back, annoyed.] “ He has not a commanding figure, nor can I call him good-looking, nor fashionable ” Lis. [exultingly.] Yes, yes, — I hear what my brother says — ^you may read that last bit again. Nat. No thank you, ma’am, {reading.] “ But this is no reason for refusing an excellent young man.” There., I’ll read that again if Lis. Go on, sir, Nat. [reading.] “ And if, on my return, I find that the good I hear of him is true, I shall insist upon your marrying him.” Lis. Insist! Nat. He says insist !”— -only look. Lis. [snatching the Utter.] This is too absurd. My brother has no right to interfere in my affairs. If you don’t want to make me hate you, you will never allude to anytifing so disagreeable again, Nat. You are not going. Lis. Yes, I am. Nat. Let me help ycm with your basket. Lis. {putting on her basket.] No, you shan’t. Nat. Will you allow me to walk a little way with you \ Lis. No, I won’t ; and now, sir, pray never let me see your face here again — I am not going to make myself the town-talk. I wish you a good morning, sir. [Exit at centre door, singing, Liberty for me.” Nat. Oh dear ! oh dear ! I’m worse off now than ever, I’m never to come here again ! Never mind. I’ll put an end to my miseries — I’ll put an end to myself. I wonder which would answer best : to throw myself off the top of the mountain, or to drown myself in the lake. I must do one or the other, and yet — the preceptor says it is so naughty to do tbat sort of thing, and I’m sure it’s not agreeable. If I had but a friend who would stick me in the gizzardr— then the sin would be off my conscience. But I suppose people would say he murdered me ! [martial music without.] Whafs that ! Soldiers coming down the mountain ! Foes, perhaps — and if so, they may pop me off in no time ! No — they are our own soldiers. Well, then, I’ll enlist, and then I shall have a chance of being sbof in ^ respectable way. I’ll beckon to them. 10 THE SWISS COTTAGE. [goes to centre door and makes Here they c wne — this way, gen- tlemen. Enter Max and Soldiers at centre door. Nat. This way — if Miss Lisette were here, she would receive you hersell — but I’ll do my best. [bustles about, and exit. f. s. M A X— S 0 N G . RECITATIVE. It is my mountain home ! — yes, I could gaze for ever, Upon the lovely scene, oh ! precious to my heart ; 'Twas here a happy child, with light and joyous footstep, I knew each secret path of my dear mountain home. [7Vie Ranz des vaches is heard on the mountain. What do I hear ! It is the thrilling Ranz des vaches ! Song of home I love thee ! Wild and thrilling lay !* Oft I’ve sigh’d to hear thee, Roving far away ; But my heart foreboded That the sigh was vain. And I ne’er should listen To that song again ! Yet once more I hear it ! As in dreams ’twas heard, While I seem’d transported To the spot adored ; With a loved one gazing On thy tranquil lakes ; But the spell is broken When the dreamer wakes ! Song of home, I love thee, &c. Max. [To Soldiers, who are grouped at the hack of the stage. 1 — Come, boys, we’ll rest here a little ; and be sure you observe order. The first that touches even a tomtit, or shoots a rabbit, will offend me ; we are now in our own country, and must observe strict discipline. Soldier. Yes, yes. Enter Natz, with tvine, 4’C., and several pewter drinking cups. The Soldiers sit at two tables. Max remains in front. Max. Hang me, if we have not lost our way ! I thought I knew every mountain path. Ah, tell me. young man, are we far from Heris- sau 1 the regiment ought to muster there. Nat. You are within three hours’ march. I have a farm close by, where you may all sleep, and have everything you want. [aside.'\ They’ll make away with my ox, and my sheep, and my dead cocks and hens, and drink the wine I uncorked for my wedding. Heigho ! THE SWISS COTTAGE. 11 Max. Thanks, my good fellow ; and who are you 1 Nat. I’m well known here — I’m Natz Tieck. Max.[ surprised.'] Natz Tieck, of Appenzelll Nat. Yes — why are you surprised 1 Max. Oh, nothing ; only I have heard you well spoker of, and I’m glad to make your acquaintance. Give me your hand. Nat. [shaking hands.] Then do me a favor — let me enlist in your company. Max. Oh, you are jesting ! Nat. No — I’m a miserable little man, and I want to be shot. Max. Want to be shot ! Nat. Yes ; I wish I was bigger, I should make a better mark. Max, Why, what’s the matter with you ? Nat. I’m crossed in love — I adore a girl, and she won’t marry me. Max. Ah, indeed ! and what is her name I Nat. Lisette Geierstein. Max. [aside.] Lisette ! my sister. Nat- She is the prettiest girl in the village ; she has a brother, cor- poral Max, but he is with the army, — perhaps you know him. Max. Hey — Max — Max — I’ve heard the name. Nat. And do you know he’s coming home I Max. I don’t think that likely, [aside.] As he’s at home already. Nat. Not that it signifies to me — for since he wrote to his sister, ad- vising her to marry me, she has treated me worse than ever. I had a contract drawn this very morning, giving her all my fortune, — and now I must be content to leave it to her in my will. Max. Then I suppose she does not love her brother. Nat. Oh, yes, she does. Max. Then she dislikes you 1 Nat. No, sir, she don’t ; she told me this morning she liked me ; but that she never would marry anybody. She likes to be single — such a thing to say. Max, What folly. Nat. I told her so here, in her own house, not an hour ago. Max. This her house. Nat. Yes ; when her father and mother died, she sold the house thej used to live in, and bought this chalet. Max. [aside.] All shall go right. This her house. Ah, I’ll give hei a lesson. Nat. Were you talking to me, sir I or speaking confidentially to yourself I Max. Go and fetch the certificate of your birth. You must show me that before you enlist. Nat. [drawing up.] Oh, certainly, — if you have any doubts about who I am. Max. Oh, you mean to quarrel with me. Nat. No, sir, by no means. Max. Then go, and do as I bid you — go instantly. Na^. Oh^ very well, [aside.] What rough brutes ! I shall be as bad THE SWISS COTTAGE. \2 I suppose, when I join the corps, — that is, if I don’t soon get popped off. [Exit, V. 8. Max. [looks through the centre door.] Ah, I sec her ; I am sure it is my sister. She comes, she comes. I cannot contain myself I must run and kiss her. Yet, no — now or never : she must be taught wisdom. My lads, come hither. — [the soldiers gather round him.] — Listen to my orders. First Soldier. You have only to give the word. Max. Well, then, my lads. I’ve changed my mind. I told you not even to kill a rabbit, but I give you leave to rummage the yard, and the garden, and throttle every duck, goose, cock, hen, and guinea-pig, that falls in your way. Awoy, aw^v ; let the havoc begin. [some of the soldiers go out r. Enter Lisette in great annoyance^ l. The Soldiers are rummaging the house, taking a frying-pan and other kitchen utensils^ a basket of eggs from a closet, ^c. Great noise. Lis. Good gracious ! soldiers ! gentlemen ! what are you all about 1 Oh dear me ! Max. Oh, my beautiful darling, we intend dining here, and thought of course you would furnish the board well, we thought it right to help you. Lis. But who gave you permission to dine here at all 1 What will become of me 1 Max. [with unconcern, addressing a soldier.] Oh she is pretty, certainly — and now that she’s flurried she looks prettier than before — there, what a blush. Lis. None of your nonsense here, sir, if you please 1 Oh dear me, I’ve nothing ready — you had better go. Max. No, no — we want no dainties — bread and cheese and kisses. Enter several Soldiers — one with a rabbit, one with pigeons, one with a little pig, one with a fowl, all killed. Sol. See what wc have got — glorious fare. Max. Ah ! now for the list of the killed and wounded. Lis. Oh the wretches — they’ve killed all my pets ! [sne runs after them, one after another, trying to snatch from them the fowl and other things.] Max. Well done, my boys — and now all we want is the key of the wine cellar. Lis. And that you shan’t have for your impudence. Enter Soldiers with baskets of wine, r. Max. Thank you, my dear — see, the lads have forced the door : and now we’ll drink your health. Lis. [running from one to aiiother^ Oh this is beyond bearing — my best wine that I was keeping for my brother ! Max. Your brother — oh stuff! I’ll drink his health, and it will do your brother as much good as if he drank it himself. 1st Sol. And now for the health of our hostess, and I for one claim a THE SWISS COTTAGE. 13 kifs. [they run towards her^ she tries to escape— interposes and pushes them back.^ Max No, no — keep your distance. Isi Sol. [aside.] Oh, ho ! — the corporal wants to keep her to Lis. [throws herself into a chair.] I shall die of vexation. Max. Comcj come — a song, a song, to cheer our pretty hostes». SONG^Max. With these we'll bivouac. He who wears a regimental suit, Oft is poor as is some raw recruit, But what of that ! Girls will follow when they hear the drum, To view the tassel and the waving plume That deck his hat 1 Oh ! he will sing when he’s not on duty. Smoke his cigar, or flirt with some gay beauty. Oh, vive I’amour, cigars and cognac. Hurra, hurra, hurra, hurra ! with these we’ll bivouac. CHORUS OF SOLDIERS. Oh vive I’amour, &c. Max. When we march into a country town. Prudes may fly from us, and dames may frown ; All that’s absurd ! When we march away, we leave behind Prudes and dames that have been vastly kind — ^ Pray take my word ! Off, off we go, and tell them we’re on duty, Smoke a cigar, and seek for some new beauty. Oh vive I’amour, &c. Chorus as before. During the symphony which ends each verse of the Chorus ths Soldiers heat time on the table with their pewter drinking cups, making a sort of staccato accompaniment. Lis. They will positively stun me ! Enter Is/ Soldier with an apron and cap. r. .st Sol. The dinner is ready — come Lis. Dinner ! 3Iax. Come, will you not join us Lis. No, certainly not — 1 wonder at your assurance 3fax. Oh, very well — adieu for the present ; you must promise to make yourself very agreeable in the evening. Come along, my lads. [Exeunt Max and Soldiers, singing the chorus r. 2 e. Jjis. Oh dear, oh dear ! They will stay in my house all nixrht ! — and 14 THE SWISS COTTAGE. perhaps to-morrow ’ — and possibly fifteen days ! What a prospect ! I must go to the police — stop though — if I go away, what will become of my goods and chattels ! 1 have no nearer neighbor than Natz — and ISatz is a bachelor — and then I haven’t been very kind to Natz, arid shouldn't like to go to him ; besides, were I to go, I dare say they’d burn my house in my absence — such people would do anything. Oh — I hear somebody coming — oh. I’m so terrified ! — how I will scream I [loo^s out at centre door — delighted.^ Oh no — I breathe again — it’s Natz. Enter Natz, with a bundle hung on a very long swords c. Katz. Don’t be frightened, it’s only me. Lis. No, I’m not frightened now. Nat. [coldly.] I did not take the liberty of calling to see yoUy ma’am, I’m come to meet the corporal. Lis. To meet the corporal I Nat. Yes, ma’am — to-morrow Fm going a soldiering. Lis. Surely you jest ! Nat. No, ma’am, it’s no jest — that is to me. I went to fetch some papers, and this great big sword which belonged to my great uncle, Alexander, who was a grenadier. WTio knows what I may live to be 1 Where’s the corporal 1 Lis. Oh, he and his men have turned my house upside down ! Nat. Upside down '! law ! Then, I suppose, you don’t quite know whether you’re standing on your head or your heels ! Well, the sooner we are all off, the better — here’s a paper I wish you to take care of — [goes to his bundle and takes one out.] — No — that’s the certificate of my birth — heigho ! I wish I had never had any birth days ! — [takes out another.] — No — that’s the marriage contract— that goes into the bundle again. Ah, here it is — it’s my last will and testament, and it won’t be my fault if you don’t soon enjoy all the comforts it bequeathes you. Don’t open it — till you hear — I’m shot — or — or — stuck in a vital part. Lis. Don’t talk so, Natz Nat. No, I won’t talk at all. My presence here, I know, is disagree- able. Good bye, for the last time — God bless you. Lis. Oh, don’t go — no, not disagreeable, [aside.] What shall I do, if he leaves me here alone with the soldiers. Nat. Oh, that you would but say that you wish me to stay Lis. 1 do, I do — a friend at this moment may be of essential service. Nat. Don’t be kind now., if you mean to be cruel 'presently. Lis. Hark, I hear the soldiers ! Oh stay here to-night — only to- night — its a favor one might ask of — any ncigbbor — to-morrow you can go if you wish it — you can occupy that room, \_points to door on the left. Nat. To be sure. Oh, I’m a happy man again. [Exit^ l. h. Lis. I shall be less frightened now, for a lone woman in a country house is [noise without.] Oh, Natz, Natz, come here. Enter Natz — he has left his bundle in the room^ l. Nat. W' hat is the matter ! THE SWISS COTTAGE* 15 Oh, these horrid men — you must not leave me, Natz. I see you are sadly tired with your long walk, and night is coming on — but — but — look there — the armchair — make yourself comfortable there, if you can. JV’fltr. isUs in a large arm chair on the right of the stage. 1 There — a prince could not be more comfortable. I am very tired certainly ; very — and very sleepy. I should not dislike falling asleep for an hour, for I should dream of you. [Lisette goes to the other side of the stage j and sits upon a little th ee legged stod.l Lis. Hush — sleep now ; I may want you to protect me by and bye, and I will call you, if there is any danger. Nat. You are a great way olf. Ah, I thought I should have been far away by this time, [ijawns.^ I certainly am drowsy — I wonder how I shall look in regimentals What was I thinking about 1 I’ve killed all my cocks and hens. Heigho ! \_falls asleep.^ Lis. He is fast asleep, [noise.^ Ha ! Oh as it gets late, I get more and more alarmed. I feel so lonely out here by myself, \_gets up softly^ and very quietly creeps across the stage with her little stools which she places quite close to Natz’s chair., and then sits down in it ] Lis. I’m much more happy now. Enter Max behind. Max. [asidc.'[ Ah, she would not let him go ; sitting side by side, too. All’s right, [^aloud.'] Hem ! Lis [jumping wp.] Mercy on me ; the corporal ! Max. Yes^ my darling — [affecting to be tipsy — aside.~\ I’ll pretend to be tipsy ; women are always frightened at tipsy men. \_aloud.^ I’m come to make love to you : I always make love best after dinner, [following her about.] Lis. [aside.] How disagreeably sound Natz sleeps. Max. Come, give me a kiss. Lis. Don’t insult me, sir. Max. Insult you ! — nonsense. Your little husband there could not object to your giving me a kiss — shall I ask him'! Lis. That’s not my husband. Max. I naturally thought he was, finding you just now so close together, snoring a duet. Lis. Sir, I wasn’t asleep, and that young man didn’t snore. He is not my husband, I say ; and I don’t mean to marry. Max. Oh, then, you may kiss me as much as I please, [runs after her.] Lis. [running about.] Oh, Natz, Natz, Natz. Nat, [starting up.] Oh, such a nice dream ! Ah, what do I see 1 [runs between Max and Lisette.] Max. [pulling him rounds and getting next to Lisette.] Why do you interfere '! — she’s not your wdfe. Nat. Alas ! no. Max. Is she your sister '! Nat, No, she is not. 10 THE SWISS COTTAGE. Max. {blustering.'] Is she your niece 1 or your cousin ! or your aunt 1 or your grandmother'! iVa/. She’s no relation — but for all that Max. Go about your business, then. Nat. I shan’t stir a step. Miss Lisette asked me to stay, and stay I will — may I not '! {to Lisette.] Lis. Ye — yes — certainly — ’tis to oblige me you stay. Max. Oh, I see it all now ! you are her lover '! Nat. Well, I never said I wasn’t. Max. And so am I — I love her to distraction. Lis. Oh my gracious ! Max. Resign her to me this moment, Nat. Never. Max. If you don’t Lis. Let me entreat Max. {coldhj.] Pray don’t meddle, ma’am. Men must settle these matters with flint and steel, and powder and shot. Leave us alone — we shall not be long — and one or other will come back to comfort you. Fortunately for me. I’m in good practice. Nat. I can’t shoot a bit ! Lis. Oh, sir, I implore Max. {furiously pointing to door.] Leave us. Lis. Oh, I’m so terrified ! {Exit, l. h. Max. Now, sir, I expect you to follow me. In a quarter of an hour I shall wait for you at the bridge ; be sure you do not disappoint me. {Exit centre. Nat. A quarter of an hour! — then, I suppose, in twenty minutes I may expect a bullet to go right through me. I should not have minded that so much this morning, but now Lis. {'pee'ping.'] Is he gone '! Oh Natz — are you really going to fight that blustering fellow'! — he’ll eat you up ! Nat. Perhaps so — it does not much matter what becomes of me. [Lisette cries.] W'hat do I see — crying for me ! Will you think kindly of me when I’m gone'! Lis. Gone — oh, I know not what you mean by gone — ^you must not go. EiUer Max behind, looking at them and smiling unperceived. Max. Why don’t you come “! — {touching his sword.] — some one expects you. Nat. {aside and going up the stage.] How provoking — to be cut in half at such a moment I Lis. {to Max.] I know what you intend — but you shan’t kill him — one who is so very dear. Alax. Lear I to whom '! Lis. {confused.] To — to his friends and his family, to be sure. Max. He has no family — he is a bachelor, like myself Were he a family man, I would not for the world run the risk of depriving a wife of her husband. THE SWISS COTTAGE. 17 Lis. [quiekly.l Oh, you would not ? — then you did not know he was a married man I Max. He is not married. Lis. Oh yes, sir, he is — I’ll take my oath of it. Max. [to Nat.] Oh, that alters the case. Come here, sir. Nat. [coining forward.l I am ready — I’ve been screwing up my courage, and now for it. Max. No, no, my good fellow ; I did not know you were a married man. Nat. Who : I “I married ! Lis. [aside. 1 Say yes — I desire you. Nat. Oh, yes, yes — ^married' — what was I thinking of 1 — I had quite forgot it. How one does forget little things sometimes. Max. What’s all this 1 — there is some mystery ! Lis. Oh, only family reasons. Max. Oh, I beg pardon — no business of mine— who is his wife 1 Lis. His wife I — Did you ask who is his wife '1 Max. Yes ; a married man must have a wife, I suppose ; and see her I will, or else — ^ — Nat. My wifel I — I — [aside.] What shall I do for a wifel Lis. [courtesying to Max.] Hem — Pm his wife, sir. Nat. [aside.'l What do I hear I Oh, dear Lisette. 1j% [sings aside to him.] Now don’t presume on what I’ve said, To save you from the man I dread ; To let you call me wife was kind. But ’tis a jest, pray bear in mind. Nat. [aside.] A jest ! only a jest. Max. Oh, I beg ten thousand pardons — Mr. and Mrs.Natz Teik, pray have you any family 'I Let me see the little people. Lis. We’ve no little people, sir. Nat. Except ourselves, and we’re not very big, there are no little people in the house, except your own little drummers and lifers, [aside.] What shall we do for little people 1 Max. Well, do you know, I can’t account for it — but I cannot persuade myself that you are really man and wife, [to Lisette.] Go and kiss him, my dear. Lis. Kiss him, sir ! Nat. [aside.] Oh, it’s all up, now — she’ll never do that. Max. I’m sure you are deceiving me, and his blood shall flow. Lis. Oh dear, no- — not at all — why should I not kiss him % [asidei] Here’s a pretty job. the stage and kisses Natz.] Nat How very delightful ! Lis. [singing aside to him. Max goes behind watching them.] Now don’t presume, young man, on this, You see Pve saved you with a kiss ; To condescend so far, was kind — But ’tis a jest, prav bear in mind. 18 THE SWISS COTTAGE. Nat. \aside.'\ Another jest — heigho ! Lis. \^to Max." Well, now I suppose you are satisfied! Max. No ; show me your marriage contract. Lis. [asiWc.] Oh dear me, what am I to do ! Nat. Contract — well, to be sure — it’s in that room, in my bundle Lis. [aside. 1 Oh — Ac has signed it, and it is in his bundle. Ye«, yes, sir, ril go and fetch it. [Exity l. h. Max. You see young man, I am not to be imposed upon. Nat. [a.side.'\ She is gone to fetch it — but it is only signed by me I Enter Lisette — gives 'paper to Max. Max. [reading."] Ah, this looks well. Signed I see, by Natz Tcik, and underneath by Lisette Geierstem. All’s right. Nat. [delighted.] Signed I what do I hear ! Lis. [aside.] Hold your tongue. [Max goes to a table and writes.] My brother has not signed it, and the contract is not worth a sous. Max. [comes forward and overhears .] That’s not true. Look here, my dear brother and sister. Nat. What do I see ! — signed “ Max.” [Lisette throws herself into her Irother's arms. Nat. Are 'you Max 1 Max. Yes, and I have made my sister happy against her will. Enter Soldiers and Peasants. Nat. Ah, here you all are — come just in time to wish me joy in earnest — I’ve not killed my cocks and hens tor nothing. This is Mrs. Natz Teik, after all ! FINALE. Max. Man ! a lesson I have taught you here, If a maid is cruel — persevere. She’ll be more kind ; And, fair maid, you have your lesson too, Ere you spurn a man, be sure that you Know your own mind. If I am near, be sure I will assist him. And you hear him sing, when I enlist him. Oh vive I’amour, cigars and cognac. Hurra, hurra, hurra, hurra, with these we’ll bivouac. CHORUS. Oh vive I’amour, &c. Lis. Since it seems that T am fairly caught, Let me teach you all. as I've been taught. Good wives to be. THE SWISS COTTAGE. 19 Though he’ll guard me when there's danger nigh, Tm the manager — he must not try To manage me. In my own house I’ll try to do my duty, And welcome here — good humor, youth, and beauty. And if you go, I hope you’ll all come back, Hurra, hurra, hurra, hurra, with me to bivouac. CHORUS. Oh vive I’amour, VSB ■J 'i:' . r*-’f '^;rr rr*rr;) ^ itWOi. :rfi ■■"V • * « ' ''I- . ^ <^i ii’i .‘Mm-.((i i^7^•i ?.{Tf^r fc I rE.^'tcu ,' ,.;v — ^T'’.4 ■*!juA( ^ % r li UO-r ^oj I / Ti f.:’,^ ^ ' f:. ; -^^ '••>./ ' " • .■- ’‘Ki •,.:>_ -• ' 1,^ . ..: .^ ' ;aF ’ . ' ‘7'/ (Catalogue cmlinued from second page of cover.) VOL. XLII. 329 Ticket of Leave Man 330 Fool's Kevenge 331 O’ Neil the Great 332 Handy Andy 333 Pirate of the Isles 334 Pan chon 335 Little Barefoot 336 Wild Irish Girl VOL. XLIII. 337 Pearl of Savoy 338 Dead Heart Hamlet, in Three Acts The Oath of Office Guttle & Gulpit containing Eight Plays. . to the Stage, by Leman Thomas Rede. Containing Clear and Full Directions for obla^ing ■SfE^a^men^with complete and valuable instructions for beginners, relative to salaries, ^ Mine through Rehearsals , securing proper dresses, conduct at a first appearance, &e., & of the principal English and American Theatres. Edited and adapted to the iddia % list - C. WEMYSS. Mawey’s Exhibition Reciter and Drawing Room Entertainments, cts. Blbg choice Recitations in prose and verse. Together with an unique collection of Pettte Comedies, Dramas and Farces, adapted for the use of Schools and Families. By Charles Massey, Professor of Elocution at Burlington College, N. J., and Me- The Two numbers, bound in cloth. School style 75 dramas for the Drawing Room, by Miss Keating 40 ^lays for the Parlor, by Miss Keating 46 Acting Charades, by Miss Pickering 40 be Miller’s Own Jest Book - 40 life of a Showman, by David Prince Miller j 40 unch and Judy, Illustrated- 40 omic Dramas, for College, Camp, or Cabin, (Male Characters only,) 40 ramas for Boys, (Male Characters only,) by Miss Keating 40 iome Plays for Ladies, (Female Characters only.) complete in 2 parts each 40 n Evening’s Entertainment, an original Comedy, a Burlesque and Farce 40 lakspeare’s Proverbs, by Mrs. Cowdin Clarke 30 laygoer’s Journal, 3 parts — each 30 THE ETHIOPIAN DRAMA. o. 1. Robert Make- Airs. 2. Box and Cox. 3. Mazeppa. 4. United States Mail. 5. The Coopers. 6. Old Dad’s Cabin. 7 . The Rival Lovers. 8. The Sham Doctor. 9. Jolly Millers. 10. Villikins and his Dinnah. 11. The Q,uack Doctor. 12. The Mystic Spell. . 13. The Black Statue. Mo. 14. Uncle Jeff. 15. The Mischievous Migger. 16. The Black Shoemaker. 17. The Magic Penny. 18. The Wreck. 19. Oh, Hush ! or, The Vir- ginny Cupids. 20. The Portrait Painter. 21. The Hop of Fashion. 22. Bone Squash. 23. The Virginia Mummy. 24. Thieves at the Mill. 25. Comedy of Errors. The above Dramas have been produced with the utmost care, not only to the conectness the text, but to all the Stage Directions, Properties, and other minutiae, pertaining to iir being properly placed on the Stage. Although these Dramas are specially adapted Ethiopian entertainments, they are well fitted for Private Theatricals* NOTICE . — Owing to the continued increase in price of Press Work, Paper and ^DiNG, we shall he obliged to charge Fifteen Cents atJRetail^forthe Standard and Minor ,AMA. — January 1st, 1864. Any of the above sent by Mail or Express on receipt of price. SAMUEL PRENCH, Publisher, 122 Nassau Street, (Up Stairs.) Agent for Lacy’s, Cumberland’s, and Webster’s English Plays. FKENCH’S Price 15 C , I. 1 The Irlah Attorney 2 Boots at the Swan fiTK of a Lover « Shot 6 His Last Legs Prince 8 The Golden Parmer « ■ VOL. II. ? J J?® Tutor 12 The Barrack Room 13 Luke the Laborer 14 Beauty ana the Beast 15 St. Patrick s Eve 16 Captain of the Watch VOL. III. 17 The Secret fn/^rs 20 The Bottle 21 Borx and Cox 22 Bamboozlinsr 23 Widow’s Victim ■24 Robert Macaire VOL. X. 7S Ireland and America MINQe dram^ Bound Volumes *1.26. liKKSsNisgsilg.... 76ro^l’an,s and Back for ia« 1219 AdonJ-J^L.'*’ VOL. XXVJ O. « ^OL, IV. 25 Secret Service 26 ( >mnibus 27 Irish Lion 28 Maid of Croissy 29 The Old Guard w Raising the Wind 81 Slasher and Crasher ”2 Jsaval Engagements VOL. V. S O California 34 Who Speaks First uriosc 3b Macbeth Travestie 37 Irish Ambassador 38 Delicate Ground S In® ^ ®atbercock [Gold 40 All that Glitters is Not _ . VOL. VI. 41 Gnmshaw, Bagshaw and Bradshaw 42 Rough Diamond fj Costume ff Two Bonuycastles 45 Born to Good Luck 46 Kiss in the Dark .[jurer 77 That Blessed Baby 78 Our Gal ^ 79 Swiss Cottage 80 Young Widow VOL. XI. fii ?7i®““*8an and the Fa. 82 Irish Post fripo bI Neighbor’s Wife 84 Irish Tiger Br rp • and Tiger 86 Jo Oblige Benson 87 State Secrets 88 Irish Yankee VOL. XII. QA ®®®d Fellow q? Pair Star 91 Gale Breezely 92 Our Jemimy 93 Miller’s Maid 94 Awkward Arrival 9.J Crossing the Line 9o Conjugal Lesson o,,r ''"OL. XIII. 97 My Wife’s Mirror OQ w New York I 99 Middy Ashore 1 100 Crown Prince .101 Two Queens 102 Thumping Legacy 103Gnfin4edGelaLan 1104 House Dog I VOL. XIV. .^over tub Matrimony and Out of Place InQ Mother 109 Hi-a-wa-tha 110 Andy Blake 111 Love in ’76 [ties 112 Romance under Difficul- Erock Comedy and Tragedy 151 Dutchman’s Ghost 152 Persecuted Dutchman 153 Musard Bal?^’ gr®at Tragic Revival ®®“‘^®“an from iS! 157 Tom and Jerry i lanH IM Village IM ® A-miss 160 Amateurs and Actors 2M the I 1 *28 Siamese Twins 224 Sent to the Towi 9..ra T’OL. XXIX Somebody Else 226 Ladles’ Battle nnl Acting 230 ofMa. oo?m^ Husband’s Gl' *1 232 Fighting by Proxy I VflT. 's-i'v ' Ifii [oal 233 Unprotected Pm,i 95ft vrv.. Oa-.- .. •' v/auuio 164 Shakspeare’s Dream Neptune’s Defeat Take Care of Little 168 Irish Widow [ Charley iftov yOL. XXII. Peddlar 170 Hiram Hireout Sa H oorn The Drama Defended if Wool Dealer JZ? Ebenezer Venture [ter 17 ^ from Charac- 176 Lady of the Lake (Trav) VOL. xxiir. 236 Who Stole the Pi 237 My Son Diana 238 Unwarrantable In 239 Mr. and Mrs. Whit 240 A Quiet Family ^ VOL. XXXI. 241 Cool as Cucumber 242 Sudden Thoughts ■ ‘243 Jumbo Jum 244 A Blighted Being 245 Little Toddleklna j VUUICAJUJ VOL. XV. }ff 9°^ 2 Suits 114 A Decided Case 115 Daughter [nority VOL. VII. tn Cox Married and o rp [Settled 51 Go-to-bed Tom 62 The Lawyers 53 Jack Sheppard 54 The Toodles 55 The Mobcap 56 Ladies Beware VOL. VIII. 67 Morning Call M Popping the Question 59 Deaf as a Post 60 New Footman 61 Pleasant Neighbor 62 Paddy the Piper 63 Brian O’ Linn 64 Irish Assurauco 116 No; or.theGloriiSsMy 117 Coroner s Inquisition Tin Humble Life 119 Family Jars 120 Personation VOL. XVI. 121 Children in the Wood 122 Winning a Husband 123 Day after the Fair 124 Make Your Wills 125 Rendezvous 126 My Wife’s Husband 127 Monsieur Tonson Illustrious Stranger 131 The Corsair Norah Creina -- ■ Mad .^ogE 178 Barney the Baron 179 Swiss Swains 180 Bachelor’s Bedroom 1 flo ^ Holand for an Oliver 182 More Blunders than One 183 Dumb Belle 184 Limerick Boy VOL. XXIV Philosophy 186 Teddy the Tiler ^ ^ 187 Spectre Bridgroom 188 Matteo Falcone 189 Jenny Lind 190 Two Buzzards 191 Happy Man 192 Betsy Baker VOL. XXV. }oft Interest J^^My Fellow Clerk 1 197 Bengal Tiger Lf ghing Hyena J^® Vanquished 200 Our Wife VOL. XXVI. 201 My Husband’s Mirror 247 Maid with tne M 1248 Perplexing Predic 040 T. ^'CL. XXXII. 249 Dr. Dilworth 2^ Out to Nurse 251 A Lucky Hit 252 The Dowager 253 Metamora (Burlesc 254 Dreams of Delusioi 255 The Shaker Loveri 256 Ticklish Times ..VOL. XXXIII. 257 20 Minutes with a T 258 Miralda: or, the Ji of Tacon 259 A Soldier’s Courtsl 2W Servants by Legacy 261 Dying for Love 262 Alarming Sacrifice 263 Valet de Sham 264 Nicholas Nickleby VOL. XXXIV. 265 The Last of the PIgl 266 King Rene’s Daughi 267 The Grotto Nymph 268 A Devilish Good Jo ‘269 A Twice Told Tale 270 Pas de Fascination o, VOL. IX. 65 Temptation 66 Paddy Carey 67 Two Gregorios 68 King Charming 69 Po-ca-hou-tas 70 Clockmaker's Hat 71 Married Rake 72 Love and Murder VOL. XXX VM, All the World'* oSl«,fe Qim*h, or Nigger Practice Z^l I urn Him Out 131 The Corsair 132 Shylock 133 Spoiled .Qhjld 134 Evil Eye 135 Nothing to Nurse 136 Wanted a Widow ."*2 Pr •^‘»3 Arig,.|„f (he AtUc ^■'4 Ibrcurnotanceii AlterCane* Knity O'Hheal A Sufiper in Dixie VOL.. XVIII. 137 Lottery Ticket 138 Fortune’s Frolic 139 Is he Jealous / 140 Marric'^' ^iachelor 141 Mu8i,and at Sight 147 iriHhmanlii Loyt;[on 143 Animal Magnotisin |144 Highways and By-Ways 204 Good for Nothing 205 The First Night 206 The Eton Boy . 207 MAndering Minstrel 1208 Wanted, iOOO Milliners /OL. XXVII. •20b Poor Pilcoddy VOL. XXXV. 273 The Olio, Parti 274 The Olio, Part 2 275 The Olio, Part 3 i 276 The Trumpeter’s Dai 2ii7 Seeing ACarren 278 Green Mountain Boi 279 That Nose 280 Tom Noddy’s Secret 211 pon’tForgetyour Opera 212 Love in Livery 218 Anthony and Cleopatra 214 Trying It On. 215 Stagu Struck Yankee 216 Young Wife & Old Um- brella ,282 A Regular Fix 283 Dick Turpin 284 Young Scamp 285 Young Actress 286 Call at No. 1-7 287 One Touch of Natur 288 Two B’hoys ri>* Any Play sent by Mail or Express, on receipt of 15 cents, in money or sU All orders will receive prompt attention. *, * An Alphabetical List of 3000 Plays sent by Mall on receipt of a Postage SU SAMUEL FRENCH, Publisher, 122 Nassau St. (up staii