a I E) RAFIY 
 
 OF THE 
 UN IVLRSITY 
 Of ILLINOIS 
 
 823 
 
 H3 12c 
 1812 
 
 V.I 
 
THE 
 
 COUNTESS AND :GERTRUDE ; 
 
 OR, 
 
 MODES OF DISCIPLINE. 
 
 BT 
 
 LMTITIA-MATILDA HAWKINS. 
 IN FOUR VOLUMES. 
 
 Pouiquoi ne pas 6cnre ? cela interesse davantage. Ecrivezceque vouj 
 *vez vu. — Mon ami, M. Gray, disoit que si I'on ^toit content d'^crir^ 
 exacteraent ce qu'on aroit vu, sans appret, sans ornement, sans chercher 
 & briller, on auroit plus de lecteurs que les raeilleurs auteurs. 
 
 Lord Orforo. 
 
 Non hie Ceiitauros, non Gorgonas, Harpyiasque 
 Invenies. Martiai,. 
 
 TlfE SECOND EDITION. 
 VOL. I. 
 
 LON BON : 
 
 PRINTED FOR F. C. AND J. RiriNGTON, 
 NO. 62, ST. Paul's church-yard; 
 
 B]/ haw and Gilbert, St. John'iSquMref ClerkenweU, 
 
 1812, 
 
Discourses of morality, and reflections upon human na- 
 ture, are the best means we can make use of, to improve 
 our minds, and gain a true knowledge of ourselves. 
 
 Addison. 
 
 I could never find that I learned half so much of a wo- 
 man's real character, b}' dancing with her, as by conversing 
 with her at home, where I could observe her behaviour at 
 the table, at the fire-side, and in all the trying circumstances 
 of domestic life. We arc all good when we are pleased. 
 
 COWPER. 
 
 Je rends au public ce qu'il m'aprcie: j'ai emprunte de 
 lui la matierc de cet oavrap;c : il est juste que, I'ayant acheve 
 avcc toute Tattention pour la verile dont je suis capable et 
 qi.'il meiitc de inui, je lui en fasse la restitution. 
 
 La Bruyere. 
 
'^ 2 
 
 TO 
 
 Mrs, H. M. BOJVDLER. 
 
 Madam, 
 
 It is your injunction, on permitting 
 me to dedicate this work to you, that I shall 
 record you only as the friend of Elizabeth 
 Smith. You say it is a distinction you 
 would wish to place on your tomb, as Sir 
 Fulk Greville did on his, that of ' Friend 
 to Sir Philip Sydney.' I cannot give a 
 greater proof of respect than in obeying 
 you; — but the natural anxiety felt on ap- 
 pearing before the public, makes m.e con- 
 gratulate myself that, in looking round for 
 a name to give credit to mine, I fixed on 
 one which needed no designation. 
 
 I am. Madam, 
 
 Your most obliged and obedient 
 
 L. M. HAWKINS, 
 
 Twickenham, 
 Nov, 1811, 
 
ADVERTISEMENT 
 
 TO THK 
 
 SECOND EDITION. 
 
 Here let me speak in my own person, and offer 
 my very grateful acknowledgments of obligation in 
 return for the reception * Gertrude' has met with 
 from the public, and, more particularly, from 
 those whom it was most my ambition to please. 
 To the flattery which seems to assume, that an 
 author expects more than a due share of praise, 
 has been added the discriminating approbation of 
 superior talents and superior virtue ; and civil 
 speeches, well-penned letters, and elegant poetry 
 have been afforded with no niggard spirit. But 
 for still greater, far greater favors have I to return 
 thanks to those who have said ' As parents^ we 
 are indebted to you* — * As inexperiencedy we own 
 your assistance* — * As our friend^ let us know 
 and associate with you.' 
 
 But to record only praise would intimate that 
 nothing contrary to it has been bestowed. — Not 
 
 so. 
 
vi ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 SO. — Whether indeed the work iias been, in any 
 instance, wholly condemned, I know not ; for the 
 fear of punishment overcoming the hope of reward, 
 I have not dared to search for any public opinion 
 of it ; and there is in most people a degree of good 
 manners that keeps private censure aloof from the 
 object of it ; but I have been favored with a variety 
 of projects by which Gertrude and her party might 
 have been improved, or her adventures rendered 
 more interesting. To one suggestion, from a very 
 sensible mother, 1 certainly would have submitted, 
 had it reached me in time. It would, I grant, 
 have been more correct, had Gertrude married 
 from a situation of perfect content ; but would the 
 youjig have liked her as well, if she had not shewn 
 a little human weakness ? 
 
 Corrections have been offered as well as amend- 
 jnents ; but I have not dealt in falsity ; and to 
 deny because we are wanting in experience, is 
 hardly fair. The readiest confutation is the pro- 
 duction of an authority — but I like not revenge. 
 
 For one glaring fault I certainly would apo- 
 logize — the length of the work; but having as 
 often heard it wished six volumes as two, perhaps 
 it is its brevity that I ought equally to defend. 
 
 Amused with the ludicrous, and teazed with the 
 absurd criticisms I have been forced to hear- — and 
 sometimes a little startled by reflecting on the irre- 
 levant 
 
ADVERTISEMENT. VU 
 
 .cvant habits and pursuits of some who have taken 
 the censor's chair, I had an inclination to collect 
 a few of the instructions with which I have been 
 favored, and to print them as anti-laudatory verses; 
 but a friend has saved me the trouble ; and with 
 the adjunct of his little drama, and the deepest 
 feehng of what 1 owe to the candor of the public. 
 I dismiss my second edition to the protection of 
 those who have given celebrity to the first. 
 
 L. M. PI. 
 
 Twickenham, 
 -pec. 1812, 
 
MRS. BLENDISH AND FRIENDS. 
 
 MRS. GOODWILL. 
 
 oINCEnow,mydear friend,\viihmuch judgment and learning, 
 
 To our diet and food your attention you're turning, 
 
 (For such is your skill, your intention quite charms us, 
 
 As now you'll prevent us from eating what harms us,) 
 
 I wish you'd devise something clever and smart, 
 
 Which when Nature's o'crcharg'd would new vigor impart, 
 
 Or if e'er we indulge, would not fail to correct 
 
 Of over-indulgence the latent effect. 
 
 Such hints would still heighten the joys of the table. 
 
 And to furnish such hints you alone, ma'am, are able: 
 
 And even your conscience, I'm sure, must approve it — 
 
 For as to the matter of fame, you're above it. 
 
 MRS. CARE-CRAZED. 
 
 And, my dear Mrs. Blendish, bestow a kind thought, 
 And teach us to feed our poor babes as we ought. 
 If you could but inform me what's fitting and best 
 For my poor sickly children, 'twere kind I protest ; 
 For now (and I ne'er was to fiction inclin'd) 
 They are nothing but humors in body and mind; 
 And unless by home radical change, my dear friend, 
 Their tempers and health I can rnanage to mend, 
 Without all romancing, I plainly can see 
 They'll live to be ni agues to themselves and to me, 
 
 LADT 
 
LADY PRETERITE. 
 
 And pray, ray dear madam, try what can be done 
 For the stomachs of those who are healthy and young. 
 To bring them to relish the plain English fare 
 On which I was brought up, with great wisdom and care. 
 Tis shocking to see, with some that are young 
 That nothing is fit to pass over their tongue, 
 Without such profiuion of spirit and spice 
 As would ruin their parer.ts almost in a trice: 
 It brings on disease, from which physic can't save, 
 And sends them, ai last, to a preniature grave. 
 Good honest roast beef and plum-pudding for me, 
 And your kickshaws of France I wouid ne*er wish to see. 
 Nor the thin brodo-lungo of Italy: these 
 Can ne'er the plain taste of an Englishman please. 
 
 MRS. NICELY. 
 
 And pray dt^i't forget that a cook should be neat 
 In whatever i elates to the food that we cat. 
 
 MTIS. DILIGENT. 
 
 And let me beseech you would, wholly abstain 
 From using narcotics, which puzzle the brain. 
 The charms of soft opium what numbers declare, 
 So lulling to sense and so soothing to care! 
 But shall man, by his Maker design'd for the skies, 
 Plac'd here t^ account for each moment that flies: 
 Shall he of his reason eclipse the faint gleam. 
 And be urg'd thro' life's day in the stupor of dream? 
 
 Mrs. Blcjiflish and Friends at table after dinner, 
 
 MRS. GOODWILL. 
 
 Well! good Mrs. Blendish, wc really must own 
 That wonderful skill in your dinner you've shewn. 
 The sev'ral ingredients put into the dish 
 Corresponded exactly with what wc could wish. 
 
 Ou] 
 
Our feast of to-day a grand It^cture has been, 
 
 \Vc cannot but profit by what we have seen. 
 
 How blest is your fate that has leisure bestow'd. 
 
 Denied to all us, to leach others their road ! 
 
 Your example has shewn us, far more than a book. 
 
 How small is the talent that makes a good cook. 
 
 For ourselves, there are many complaints, we may say, 
 
 That we all of us feel more or less ev'ry day. 
 
 Which your judgment has hit, wfth the method most sure, 
 
 By removing the cause, of effecting the cure.. 
 
 That you've done us. great service by all is confess'd: 
 
 Yyur reward is recorded within your own breast. 
 
 LADY CLOUD. 
 
 Well! good Mrs. Blendish, I cannot but saj 
 You gave us an excellent dinniv to-day, 
 As this lady observes; — and I freely confess 
 I can scarcely find language its praise to express: 
 But do you not think — I speak under tavor—- 
 It might still be improvM by a more refin'd flavor? 
 ]ly something — you take me — to make it quite right, 
 A little more elegant — more recondite. 
 
 MISS GROVEL. 
 
 Nay ♦here, Lady Cleud, you must doubtless mistake; 
 You surely don't mean, my dear ma'am, as you speak. 
 If the dish has a fault, it is really too high — 
 I cannot endure your high dishes — not I. 
 
 MRS. TI.MID. 
 
 And could you not, madam, — rho' I may be wrong — 
 Have omitted the beef as a little too strong, 
 And then in its stead have plac'd a nice chicken, 
 For those whose weak stomachs want delicate picking? 
 
 MISS 
 

 Miss trim. 
 
 Well said ! with all this I agree to a letter, 
 nd less scAs'ning had doubtless been al 
 The flavor is much too decided for me.- 
 
 And less scAs'ning had doubtless been all for the better: 
 
 MRS, PLEASE-ALL. 
 
 Indeed were it milder, with all 'twould agree. 
 Yet still I would hint for your consideration 
 — It will be but a trifling, the' wise alteration — 
 To remove, and 1 hope you v/ill all acquiesce — 
 Those terrible cholicI<y greens from the mess — 
 A most delicate dish it would be without question. 
 But at present, I own, it don't suit my digestion. 
 
 O ! what would I give that my dear Mrs. B 
 
 AVhen she first plann'd the dish had consulted with nae ! 
 
 LADY PLEADWELL. 
 
 But, my good Mrs. Blendish, do do me one favor, 
 To oblige me, do alter that strange foreign flavor, 
 That flavor of something, I cannot tell what, 
 It is quite new to me, or it's name I've forgot. 
 But I'm sadly afraid that it will not sit easy 
 With my young friend Miss Standout, whose stomach is- 
 quea«y. 
 
 MRS. CANDOR. 
 
 And now that I think -on't, you'd better, no doubt. 
 Omit a mere trifle my palate found out. 
 Which surely would alter our tastes, that no more 
 We should relish those things that gave pleasure before. 
 
 MISS BUSY. 
 
 And, sweet Mrs. Blendish, pray let me intreat 
 That my friend Mrs. Alktrip your pity may meet. 
 By wealing no clothes— »a little gay pride ! — 
 She has hurt her digestion, it can't be denied. 
 
 Now 
 
XJU 
 
 Now there is not a soul on the earth, for whose sakt 
 I would ask you the least alteration to make, 
 Save dear Mrs. AUstrip — and sure 'twere not right 
 To punish thus harshly a folly so light. 
 So pray, pray do alter this dish for ray friend- 
 First pity the culprit, then raercy extend. 
 
 MRS. SLY. 
 
 Now let me advise you, my dear Mrs. B , 
 Let no one e'er have the receipt, do you see? 
 Don't tell for your life what it's made of; for those 
 Who now most approve it, would turn up their nOse 
 If they knew the ingredients and how it is made, 
 So keep your own counsel — that's all can be said. 
 
 MRS. SHREWD, 
 
 Mrs. Sly, I am quite of your mind, I declare — 
 Let no one, dear madam, your confidence share. 
 Let nobody know where you bought your ingredients: 
 To preserve your due credit make' use of expedients. 
 Go tell all the world from Siberia they came — 
 Otaheite — or Cairo — no matter what name. 
 But if they suspect that they're things that are sold 
 Ev'ry where — in all climates — hot, temp'rate, or cold, 
 And that some in their own weedy gardens once grew, 
 There seeded and bloom'd, they'll be angry with you. 
 
 MADAM RASP. 
 
 Pray why should our friend be alarm'd, or afiaid 
 Who knows what's put in it, or how it is made? 
 May it jalap and calomel prove to the mind 
 Of such as to vapors and spleen are inclin'd. 
 And remove, from whatever bad cause they arise 
 The follies and faults that grow under our eyes. 
 But to cure the great evils I hint at, such food 
 Is n't half strong enough, I'm convinc'd, to do good.' 
 
 MISS 
 
xiV 
 
 MISS SHY; 
 
 I should, I confess it, be sadly afraid 
 What might by the world or some people be said. 
 If / ventur'd compounding a di-sh like the present.—* 
 To make the world talk, you'll admit, is not pleasant* 
 Tho' to do the dish justice, 'tis savoury food, 
 And, I doubt not, intended to do us all good. 
 
 times, inter rvpting the last speaker. 
 
 Come, come, let's examine of what would consist 
 This dish so approv'd, if each cook'd as they list. 
 
 MRS. BLENDISH. 
 
 I can cast it up easily — nothing 'twould be 
 Save mere bran and water — and not cook'd by me. 
 So take my receipt, ladies, if you incline, 
 Or cook for yourselves — 'tis no business of mine. 
 
CONTENTS 
 
 TO 
 
 VOLUME I. 
 
 INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER. 
 
 PACE 
 
 Common fate of a preface. Motives to the work. 
 Protection of females. Means of living. Hardships. 
 Sketches of tyranny. Apology i xxiii 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 After- thought never good. The ignorant no* always to 
 blame, when they have had no choice of being learn- 
 ed. Female gourmandise. Stimulants now in 
 fashion. A genteel education. A chearful dwell- 
 ing better than a dull one. Caprice of dress. Time 
 past not much beitei: than time present, Manners of 
 court of Louis XIV. not quite so refined as we think 
 them. Females of the last age, some wise, some other- 
 wise. Anecdote of Mrs, B — , the tragedian. Dis- 
 tinctions not lost on ^'oung people. \ 
 
 CHAPTER n. 
 
 An heiress's debut. Manners not always the same. A 
 sordid education. A step-daughter in fault! How 
 to make a cross husband crosser. Good advice to a 
 son-in-law. An oppressed innocent. How to make 
 Sunday odious. Morning amusements. Chance of 
 matrimony. Taste for music. Portrait of a concert. 
 Importance of public singers. Anecdotes ^ . , . \7 
 
 vox,, I. a CHAPTER 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 PACl 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Train up a child in the way he should not g©. Love 
 of money inculcated. Doing iike other people. Modes 
 of living. Modern oeconoray illustrated. Misers. A 
 dinner party < • • • • ^7 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 The true use of the Bible. A husband-hunting. The 
 heiress emancipated. Portraits from the life. Thirty 
 a melancholy age to some. Happiness imperfect, 
 even with riches. The offered coronet. Good rea« 
 sons for doing wrong. A wooing. A wedding. How 
 to ruin a protegee. Milton's Eve in fashion. Lady 
 in Comus the honesler character. A poor devil. 
 Prospect of an heir 56 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 Solitary grandeur. Mr. Lint's account of his neigh- 
 bors. How to treat the parson of the parish. Mo- 
 tive for going to church. A decent rector. A coun- 
 try congregation. Hints to the dilatory. The grace 
 of condescension. Usefulness of visitors in a family. 
 Anecdote of the Marchioness of — , 74 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 Stolen pleasures sweet, because stolen. The earl's 
 son. The rector's daughter. Infant espousals. 
 Kursing intolerable. Attempt to be gay. Conjugal 
 disgusts. A gentle quarrel, London a bad place 
 for children. An affectionate father. A negligent 
 mother. An advising waiting-maid. A baby asleep. 
 
 A mama's farewell. Departure for London 89 
 
 CHAPTER 
 
COKTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 A rencontre. Tlie wife and mistress. Fatal effects of 
 visiting a picrare-gallery. Deceit its own punish* 
 nient. An example of fortitude. How to break a 
 bad connection. A deserted lover. How to en- 
 courage virtue in a husband. The compromise. 
 Peace and happiness. General Howit2er*s conjugal 
 good-breeding j03 
 
 CHAPTER VHI. 
 
 The strenuous imbecilities of the idle. A party-wo- 
 man. Anecdote of George SeUvyn. Pride of ances- 
 try. Anecdote of the Duchess of Q A 
 ministerial man. Want of discretion sometimes mis- 
 taken for parsimony. How to ivy a tradesman's pa- 
 tience. Anecdote of Lady . Runuinc? 
 
 after the royal family. A sensible aunt. Bath. A 
 succession of pursuits. A library-maker. Anec- 
 dotes. BookscJlers' shops. . Il6 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 A happy expedient, A diplomatic appointment. A 
 disappointment. The * poor devil' ot use. Sketch 
 of * poor devil.' A letter. The answer. A visit at 
 dinner-time and nobody in a bustle. A brave boy. 
 An authentic ghost-story. The * poor devil' obsti- 
 nate. The pleasures of children enviable. Thoughts 
 on education. The ' poor devil* rather prosy, Mr. 
 
 , the philanthropist's, colts of thirty. More 
 
 prosing. A reproof well taken. A protligate mo- 
 ther. The progress of ruin. Moderate views of a 
 father 133 
 
 a C CliAPTER 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 PAGE 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 A favor handsomely conferred. A pair of savages. A 
 disconsolate widow. Dignified gratitude. A happy 
 ather. A letter to one's husband. The diplomatic 
 departure. The little protegee. A young lady's em- 
 ployments. Kitchen comforts. Preparations for 
 Tunbridge. A genteel sharper. The pillaged ladies. 
 Friendly enquiries in affliction 156 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 Prudent retrenchments. A son introduced to his mo- 
 ther. A polite reception. The parson duped. 
 Cheap protection. A child's dress. Anecdote of 
 
 the Duchess of Q 's court-dress. The suffering 
 
 of being ridiculous. Cowper*s opinion of the joys of 
 childhood. A kind interference. Fathers educating 
 daughters. Living instances. A well educated 
 school-mistress. We know not how we learn to read. 
 The first spark of a passion for knowledge. How to 
 avoid learning the alphabet. Inconvenicncies of an 
 ardent spirit. Dancing. How to remedy short 
 shoes, A young termagant 1J4, 
 
 CHAPTER XIL 
 
 A noble governess. New neighbors. Ill-bestowcd in- 
 dulgences. The mischiefs of Sunday. How to hear 
 a child say its catechism. Ignorant people the best 
 eachcrs of tach other. How to teach writing, 
 Trash-literaturt. Religion * a good plan' for the 
 poor. H©w to mis-use good books. A course of 
 superior reading. How to make a child love lying. 
 The advantages of learning to knit. Poor Sunday! 19^ 
 
 CHAPTER 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 A new apothecary. A new school. New preterites. 
 New ticarraent. New ideas and new pursuits. Dress- 
 ing for * the ball.' 21 
 
 CHAPTER XIV- 
 
 A father's letter, A son's answer. A generous disdain. 
 Children, brought up together, not always alike. 
 Much to be feared. Much to be hoped. Mama 
 well-behaved. Disinterested love. The champion 
 too vehemcnl. • • • • 234 
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 A remove. The governess changed for a tutor. A 
 partnership. Law not friendly to taste, A worthy 
 man. The compensation, an anecdote, A fond 
 wife. Bassompierre reproached by Mary de Medicis. 
 The little handmaid. A girl's employments. Black 
 letter. Anecdote of Dr. . The joys of indus- 
 try. Journal of a day. 243 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 The world does not always slight those who have slighted 
 it. Literary habits. The aukwardness of a novice. 
 Severe discipline. How to prevent a girl's reading. 
 How to collect a library. How to hinder n girl's 
 learning music. Thrift, ancient and modern. How 
 to attach young men. An agreeable man. The little 
 beggar too interesting. A secretary in training. Ori- 
 ginal letter. A visit to Oxford. Perfect happiness. • •. 258 
 
 CHAPTER 
 
 I 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 PACE 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 Diplomatic regards. Odious Comparisons. Cid bono f 
 A strange girl. A correspondence. A specious 
 teacher. Honest indignation. Prudence in pleasure. 
 Defeated caution. The truant out-witted. How to 
 serve one's best friend. An ignorant girl. ••• 278" 
 
 CHAPTER XVIir. 
 
 Tunbriclge devotion. Traits of two minds. Little pe- 
 dants. A travelled woman. Anecdotes of an Italian. 
 Good advice. The art of ingeniously tormenting 
 carried into practice. ••....♦•*..... 2gQ 
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 Trials of patience. Improvement of time. Excessive 
 tyranny. Relaxation. A great favor. A lesson to 
 spoiled children. A perverted woman. A sudden 
 friendship. A lecture. •►••» ^OJ 
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 
 One person*!? poison another person's meat. Smarfc 
 replies. The weary castigator. Fruits of a wise- 
 plan. Guessing at the world. An ingenious mode 
 of arguing. Ward work. How to escape €?iniii. 
 Cold comfort. * Visjicri liber f A squabble for the 
 globe. A young lady in a passion. The sempstress. 
 The globe obtained. Splendid prospects. The 
 sempstress mortified. The present. . t . » . • • 331 
 
 CHAPTER 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 PAGE 
 CHAPTER XXr. 
 
 How to starve down a taste. Anecdotes. Exemplary 
 veracity. The projected journey. Domestic policy. 
 Lessons to a dependent. The toad-eater. The 
 farewell. Miseries of solitude. The noble visitor, 351 
 
 CHAPTER XXII. 
 
 A polished nobleman. A strong temptation to be dis- 
 obedient. The candor of youth. A conflict. The 
 matter accommodated. A polite husband. The mi- 
 series of a short wardrobe. ••♦••• • • • # 367 
 
INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER. 
 
 €ommon fate of a preface. Motives to the work. Protection, 
 of females. Means of living. Hardships. Sketches of ty- 
 ranny. Apology. 
 
 Nobody reads a preface ; 'tis idle therefore to 
 write one: — if there be any part of a work 
 which the reader never sees, it is that addressed 
 most peculiarly to his attention. But this omission 
 is an act of injustice, because the authoi^s oppor- 
 tunity of speaking aside, often exists only in those 
 preliminary pages ; and without listening to what 
 he .would say, nf;ither his plan nor his motives can 
 be known ; cor.sequently he is in danger of being 
 misunderstoor , and condemned for not doing that 
 which, had ) is preface been read, would have ap- 
 peared tote ly foreign from his purpose. Novr, 
 we beg If Jive to inform our readers, if we are 
 blessed v ith any, that unless they read patiently 
 and fairly to the beginning of our narrative, they 
 cannot acquire* the smallest right to censure or 
 even Jj criticise : they must know what we do not 
 unde/take, or they qannot judge of what we have 
 performed. — Their patience shall not be severely 
 tried. 
 
 The motive to our undertaking originated in the 
 vexation produced by being compelled to see, in 
 the circuit of an extensive acquaintance with so- 
 ciety, 
 
Xxiv tNTRODUCTORt CHAPTER. 
 
 ciety, very few children made happy by the 
 indulgences lavished on them by their parents, 
 very few parents reaping the expected fruits of in- 
 dulgence, and very few young persons who, on 
 quitting the paternal home, can face the realities 
 of life without injury to their temper, ship- wreck 
 of conscience, or a lamentable demonstration that 
 fortitude and submission are not amongst the tfC-' 
 compUshments they have acquired. And indeed, 
 as little are these children of fashion fitted to beaf 
 the prosperity of life when unclouded : their edu- 
 cation may, for a time, suspend their real character ; 
 but sorry are we to say, we do not perceive less 
 pride, less ostentation, less selfishness, less pre- 
 ference of the good things of this world to those 
 of another, than before men of rank and talent, and 
 ^\'omen of the highest principles, devoted their 
 lime and tlieir labor to inculcating the precepts of 
 Christianity. 
 
 Let us, however, be understood as speaking only 
 of some. — God forbid we should dare to throw out 
 a general censure so heavy in its charge. We 
 trust we could, on the terms granted to Abrahano, 
 save many cities, even when looking only to our 
 o,wn friends ; but he who writes on physic, must 
 leave the healthy out of his computation, and we 
 must be allowed to consider the inhabitants of the 
 world as needing, at least, to be reminded of thp 
 efficient and final causes of their creation. 
 
 On what plan we should proceed was a ques- 
 tion, when a very flattering hint from a gentlemaa 
 ^^W known in the world of science and literature, 
 
 decided 
 
INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER. XXV 
 
 decided us : he bade us write on the subject of 
 useful exertions — we must not reveal what he bade 
 us make our text, though such a disclosure would 
 be our best apology for confining our observations 
 almost wholly to our own sex. 
 
 Our work is extensive, but still very imperfect. 
 It has required some exertion of the power of se- 
 lection, to ascertain what we might leave of the 
 heap of matter before us, when so much error de- 
 manded notice; and in aiming to avoid the didactic^ 
 we have omitted much that claimed a place. JJy 
 endeavoring to atone for one omission, we shall, 
 perhaps, awaken the attention of the reader to the 
 general tendency of our labor. 
 
 The connection between the higher and lower 
 ranks of females, is a matter deserving very serious 
 thought ; and the duty attendant on it is not dis- 
 charged by committing it to those beneath us. 
 Were we to address ourselves rather to the feel- 
 ings than the good sense of those whom we would 
 influence, we would remark, that the language of 
 Christianity, contrary to that of poetry, makes a 
 motive to sympathy out of our ignorance of misfor- 
 tune : it does not bid us congratulate ourselves * on 
 seeing a shipwreck from the shore, or a battle fron> 
 a fortress :' it tells us to do good according to our 
 ability : it bids us look to the bounty of Heaven, 
 and strive to imitate it. On this basis we urge, 
 and as a point of worldly prudence we recommend 
 to ladies of rank and wealth, as a branch of that 
 protection which the powerful should bestow on 
 the powerless, the duty of doing all that can be 
 
 donf 
 
XXVl INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER. 
 
 done for that part of the female youth of this 
 country, who must depend on their own endeavors 
 for a maintenance. 
 
 We will briefly consider the means we recollect 
 by which a decent female can gain a livelihood : 
 • — they appear to us to be Servitude, Manu- 
 factures, and Education. 
 
 In that of Servitude, we meet an obstacle at 
 the outset. The present relaxed mode of govern- 
 ing a family, in too many instances deprives females 
 of that protection which the affluent might, without 
 injury to themselves, and certainly with a great 
 increase of sober satisfaction, afford to the indigent. 
 It is a very difficult matter to prevail on a woman 
 of conscience in the ' upper circles' as they are 
 called, to take the charge of a young girl on 
 her first quitting her father's cottage ; the conse- 
 quence of which difficulty is, that such girls must 
 be content at first with the lowest mistresses, from 
 whom they not unfrequently import into nurseries 
 and dressing-rooms, ideas and manners that are a 
 thousand times more inconvenient than their pri- 
 mitive ignorance and aukwardness. 
 
 The objection to taking this responsibility, is 
 made in the common-place phrase, ^ I cannot look 
 after my servants ;' but if the proprietor of a great 
 manufactory v^ere to say, * I cannot look after my 
 workmen,' we should see the absurdity, and he 
 would feel tlie effi^ct of it : our duty must be 
 done, nor can we neglect it on this point through 
 any other mistake than that of not considering our 
 servants as persons between whom and ourselves 
 # the 
 
INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER. XXvil 
 
 the distinctions necessary in this world, will ceasr, 
 and for our care of whom, while employed in our 
 service, we are to give as solemn an account as of 
 our care of our children. How half of us can stand 
 this scrutiny, let us ask our own consciences. 
 
 We deny the assertion, that it is impossible to 
 take care of a large family of servants — it may Le 
 a labor of Hercules to cleanse an Augean stable : 
 but we trust there are few such slovens as the 
 king of Elis ; and if it were our lot to inherit after 
 so dirty a predecessor, there are strong streams 
 that may even now, and in this country, be turned 
 to the purifying purpose of the Alpheus or the 
 Peneus *. Lady Startwell has proved, that, at 
 twenty-one years of age, well-born, well-educated 
 
 and 
 
 * For the information of those who comfort themselves 
 that the morals of the lower classes arc now so bad as to ex- 
 empt the higher from all solicitude about them, we quote an 
 instance within our own knowledge, of a young woman, taken 
 from the service of a careless family, where she had been, 
 * nothing loth' indulged in every possible folly, who congra- 
 tul^ed herself on removing to the service of persons of a very 
 different description, that she was now placed where * she had 
 not the power of doing wrong.' 
 
 To any lady desirous of improving herself in the dut^ wc 
 submit to attention, we recommend the epitaph of Lady Mar* 
 garet Hastings, in the church of North Cadbury, in Somersct- 
 «hire, of whom it is said, hat 
 
 * In government of those that did her serve 
 
 Most wise, most stout, most kind she ever was : 
 
 Most kind to such as sought well to deserve, 
 
 Most stout to those that did neglect their place. 
 
 She wisely could correct the fault of the^e. 
 
 And those encourage that would seek to please.* 
 
 And 
 
XXviil INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER. 
 
 and boasting no peculiar powers, it is possible to 
 take the nrianagcnient of a large * ready-made fa- 
 mily' and a noble establishment, to conciliate the 
 love of the one, by assisting them in the govern- 
 ment of themselves, and to regulate the other by 
 that gentle coercion which never fails to obtain 
 respect. The means are very easy, if the mind 
 can be abstracted from this world's paltry inter- 
 ruptions ; and Lady Startwell will never, unless 
 some great calamity beiall her, have half the 
 trouble in managing her houshold well, that others 
 take to ruin the morals of their servants and their 
 own tempers ; for she knows what she has to do, 
 and she does it ; yet she is not apparently more 
 occupied in her houshold-affairs than other women 
 of her own rank, nor half so busy as Countess 
 Pennywise who entertains her friends with the 
 generosity of her tradesman in advising her * not 
 to buy soap when the price had suddenly risen.' 
 Were all mistresses of great families like Lady 
 Startwell, there would be no difficulty in sheltering 
 the modesty of an humble girl in a situation of 
 protection : such girls would be received in sub- 
 ordinate capacities there, instead of being driven 
 to an alehouse and the society of quartered sol- 
 diers ; and from those of good habits, they would 
 learn them. 
 
 We should weary were we to investigate the 
 multifold causes which contribute to make some 
 mistresses of families worse than good-for-nothing 
 
 And let it be remembered, if wc may reason by analogy, 
 that as her ladyship died in the reign of Elizabeth, these ser- 
 vants might be what we now term * young ladies.' 
 
 members 
 
INTROBUCTOilY CHAPTER. XXlX 
 
 members of society. We ^vill only name the inor- 
 dinate love of pleasure and of dress — thes*^ things 
 meet the eye of their servants ; their drawing-room 
 follies they may enjoy more in secret ; but these 
 and their consequences, idleness and extravagance, 
 seem to go through the hands of servants, and are 
 not lost in their passage. 
 
 One deleterious fruit of this corrupted soil, is 
 that soporific of houshold care, called * board- 
 wages.' Even in the time of the Spectator, it was 
 considered as pernicious, and certainly manners 
 are not now such as to abate its noxious infiiicnce. 
 It is the resort of ignorance and idleness, and the 
 source of infinite mischief. Lady Alimony, indeed, 
 defends it on the plea, that * it is the only possible 
 mode of government by which you can avoid feed- 
 ing an army instead of your houshold ;* and wc 
 doubt not she is sincere in her belief. When we 
 have a little pushed her in her argument, her last 
 question has silenced us : ' But how is it possible 
 that I can take care of my servants, when, perhaps 
 three times in the week, I am not at home till 
 day-break r' We could have said, that something 
 might be done by way of check in accounts ; but 
 we had been told, that three times in the year was 
 quite often enough for ' that parody on the game 
 of cribbage,' our housekeeper's accounts. — Then, 
 indeed, we could say no more, but ceased to won* 
 der that his infirm lordship had his separate estu* 
 blishment in another county *\ 
 
 The 
 
 ♦ That the innocent suffer for the guilty, couhj be pr .vn# 
 in all the affairs of life. "VVc, who pa^ rcaciy money, unr^k 
 
 .hoje 
 
XxX INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER. 
 
 The pride felt by some ladies in seeing their 
 servants drest above their station in life, is another 
 circumstance of unfitness for protection, and an 
 injury to the lower classes, that can result from 
 nothing but pride. The sentiment declares itself 
 in an implied injunction to the beholders, to consider 
 the dignity of those who have persons so dignified 
 in appearance to wait on them. This is pure non- 
 sense ; but the effect is something worse. Many 
 a young woman has been rejected where she might 
 have done well, because her former employer has- 
 thus corrupted her ; and it is a fact, that the sti- 
 pend and more than the stipend, is spent by fe- 
 male servants even of the lowest description, in 
 this worse than folly. The resource is pretty ob- 
 vious ' to the meanest capacity,' and if ruin ensues, 
 the mistress is not wholly excusable. 
 
 those who never pay, and we who govern our families consci- 
 entiously, must, without vigilance, sufTcr by the negligent and 
 indolent. A friend of our's loet a very good servant, who was 
 tempted from her by the supposed ceconomy of board-wages. 
 Her mistress made enquiries into her advantages, and was 
 answered, ' Why, ma'am, ray board-wages are enough t^ 
 keep me; and having lived in several good families where they 
 do not allow them, it is hard if I cannot get a dinner amongst 
 them three times a week/ 
 
 We must, however, confess we have seen * board-wages' 
 made * to answer better. Our friend, Mrs. Mammon, when- 
 ever disappointed of dining out, tells her servants she will 
 * take up with a bit of their loaf at her dinner.* Now this is 
 true osconomy ; and as such, we recommend it to counter- 
 balance the w^aste that there must be in every family, where 
 'there is no hungry stomach to fail lawful heir to the garbled 
 dishes of the fastidiou-. 
 
 ' I ahvays 
 
ITfTRODUCTORY CHAPTER; XXXl 
 
 * I always permit my woman to read all the no- 
 vels I read myself,' is a speech xQvhutim, Mhixrh 
 saves us all trouble on this head. Can such per- 
 sons be fit guides for the youth of their own sex ? 
 Can thev recollect, that he who does not take 
 care of his houshold, is styled by one of the Apos- 
 tles, worse than an infidel ? or are they to be 
 disbelieved if they profess their houses unfit for the 
 protection of the ignorant and unwary ? 
 
 Sorry are we to record the error of persons of a 
 much higher class of merit; but who, we may almost 
 say, in consequence of their very merits, do mis- 
 chief in society as mistresses of families, and who, 
 forming a half-tone between the Church of England 
 and those sectaries denominated Methodists, call 
 tliemselves with a sad distinguishing assumption, 
 serious Christians. W^e respect their principles ; 
 we pity their failure ; but excessive zeal defeats its 
 own purpose: their servants are either made fanat- 
 ical ; and we know alas ! too well what fanaticism 
 will do in a vulgar mind; or else they look on 
 religion as the hobby-horse of their employers, 
 and as a peculiarity to which they must, as to 
 all others, give way while in their service. At 
 their next remove, perhaps, they go into a family 
 where the subject is never thought on, and it is all 
 the same to them *. 
 
 There" is, we will venture to say, nothing in 
 the majiagement of a family equal to the setting a 
 
 * A proof of tliis \vc received in a servatit, who descriijcd 
 ttic family whom he served, as ' monstjous rcli,:iii»ab/ 
 
 VOL. I. I.) good 
 
XXXll IXTRODUCTORY CHAPTER. 
 
 good example, the convincing servants that we 
 have one common interest with them, and, above 
 all, the putting it out of their power, if possible^ 
 to do wrong. Without wishing to degrade our 
 fellow-creatures, we must remark, that the lower 
 classes can always understand justice, but seldom 
 fail to mis use indulgence; and when the mistress 
 of a family feels this, and recollects the licence her 
 absence from home allows, to say nothing of the 
 injury to the men-servants in the street, a sen- 
 sible-woman will think that the pleasure of danc- 
 ing till sun-rise, has, like all other pleasures, some 
 alloy. 
 
 Before we dismiss the article of servitude^ we- 
 will suggest the comfort a parent would find on a 
 death-bed, in knowing that a daughter is placed 
 under the care of a mistress who will not neg- 
 lect her. The upper classes of servitude might 
 surely admit even the daughters of professional 
 fiien, where the means have been wanting to give 
 education, if such young women could be kept 
 from all association with men-servants ; we are no 
 fosterers of pride, but we love decency, and on no 
 account would we expose a delicate female to- 
 coarse manners in the other sex ; but in great fa- 
 milies th*s is avoided, and often a very comfortable 
 place might be found for a pennyless girl, if she- 
 'svere allowed to take her , meals alone. There is 
 iK)thing laborious, or even unpleasant, in attending- 
 on one of our own sex in a situation of life above 
 us ; and surely it would be worth our trouble, and 
 It would repay us in our own comfort, if, by a little' 
 
 ingenuity, 
 
.'IXTRODUCTOflY CHAPTER. XXXIll 
 
 ingenuit}^, we could tempt to offer her service, the 
 daughter of a country-curate, in preference to the 
 young lady at ^ the Red Lion,' or ' the Chequers.' 
 
 Having said thus much on the subject of servi- 
 tude, we conclude it by int^'eating the ladies of this 
 country not to neglect as hopeless, not to spoil by 
 indulgence, but to watch over with maternal vigi- 
 lance those young women whose parents confide 
 them to their charge with the anxiety they ought 
 to feel, and which anxiety we must remember it is 
 •cruelty to increase. 
 
 Manufacturers, either in fabricating, or in 
 vending them, afford a subsistence to numberless 
 young women, but our knowledge does not extend 
 far enough to admit us to speak on any branch but 
 that connected with the needle ; this is most for- 
 midably prolific of misery. A young woman must 
 be as thoroughly grained in virtue, as one whom 
 we have the happiness to know, to prefer to the 
 protection of an officer in the guards, the comforts 
 of a cold solitary lodging, an egg or a sausage fcr 
 her dinner, and the exercise of her needle from four 
 in a summer-morning till ten at night, even if she 
 were well paid ; but let it be known to the world 
 that, at the rate of payment now afforded to such 
 labor, she, if she works iov friends, must not 
 expect more than sixpence or ninepence a day. 
 By the shops or uarehouses, she may get two shil- 
 lings ; but ladies who must be fine, and will not 
 work, and grud;£e to pay, are of all tyrants some 
 of the mobt oppressive. We have seen twelve shil- 
 
 b 'Z lings 
 
XXXIV INTI1015UCT0RY CHAPTER, 
 
 lings cleaved by a task of four hours every day for 
 three months, performed for a lady to whose ^ewe- 
 rosliij the payment was referred : we have seen 
 ninc[)cnce oti'cred for that which, if purchased^, 
 would have cost exactly three times the sum.. We 
 iiave seen, O ! we must not tell what we have 
 seen. * Homo homini lupus/ says nothing of wo- 
 man. We have had to dry the tears caused by one 
 woman's hard heartedness to another. We could 
 
 give such a history of protection ! 
 
 And even at what is called the best that can be 
 expected by young women earning their bread to 
 the injury of their sight and at the risk of pul- 
 monary disorders, their lot is very hard, and unne- 
 cessarily so. The venders of their work, often 
 sell it for three and sometimes four times what 
 they are paid. Surely this is as unjust to the con- 
 sumer as to the artificer ! and for what do we shb- 
 mit to be thus imposed on ? That we may make 
 our purchases in mansions fit for persons of the 
 first rank^ and fancy we advance ourselves by our 
 folly ! 
 
 It is our earnest wish to see a. young woman 
 able, by such industry as will not destroy her 
 health, to earn three shillings a day bv her needle; 
 and half our female readers will disbelieve us when 
 we tell thepi this is not to be done. As little credit 
 will be given i^, when we say that, even in our very 
 charities we assist to prevent this. Mrs. Haggle 
 threatens poor Lucy Stitchwell that she shall give 
 her 110 more plain work ; she can have it done * at 
 her . j^choor lor half-price ; it matters not to her 
 
 tha 
 1 
 
INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER. XXXT 
 
 that Lucy has no other means of subsistence. Jvlany 
 of us are more innocently doing infinite mischief, 
 even in our seemingly best deeds, by forestalling 
 the labors of tliose wiio, if we do not buy, must not 
 .eat. Is it worse to take ihe nether mili-stone? 
 
 In tiie department of educatiov, nothing has 
 given us equal satisfaction with the plan adopted, 
 witliin these few years, by some very judicious mo- 
 thers, of taking their children out of the nursery, and 
 placing about them, under their own immediate 
 inspection, a very young person, who has been 
 tolerably educated. It is a plan replete with kind- 
 ness and good sense, and has our mo^t ardent 
 wishes for its encouragement. We have known 
 instances where a young woman, thus placed, has 
 scarcely felt it was not in her own home : she has 
 been treated with prudent confidence, and allowed 
 a portion of every day for her own improvement; 
 and in concerns where there was no particular rea- 
 son to take an interest, she has experienced the 
 protection that could be claimed from none but 
 parents. 
 
 The point we have most at heart for the advan- 
 tage of young women who are to get a mainte- 
 nance by instructing others, is their being fairly 
 taught what they are to teach. IMany are the 
 cases that have come under our knowledge in 
 -Our wish to assist, where necessity and an honest 
 desire to succeed have been all * the capital' with 
 which a young woman has set out. By the help 
 of those books, calculated rather for the tutor 
 
 than 
 
XXXvi INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER. 
 
 than the pupil, — by learning the lesson at night 
 ^vhich she was to teach in the morning, she lias 
 shifted on till she has gained the small Encyclo- 
 poedia required by an ignorant or a negligent em- 
 ployer, or male her manners and submission a 
 hedge for herself. 
 
 But want of knowledge leads to so many paltry 
 devices, and the fever of conscious deficiency is 
 so terrible a disease, that we wish to see the want 
 supplied; and for this no means can be found 
 • but such a renunciation of airy hopes as shall pre- 
 vent parents from depending on what is vulgarly 
 called ' the chapter of accidents,' in providing for 
 a family. If the time ever arrives, when it shall 
 be thought more reputable to fit girls for earning 
 their bread than for entrapping the unwary, it will 
 be the first object of a father and mother, reject- 
 ing all superfluous accomplishments, to give their 
 daughters those solid attainments which may en- 
 title them to a home and a provision ; but we fear 
 that time is not at hand. We have heard but of 
 one instance where this has been a plan steadily 
 pursued to its extent, and its success, we are 
 happy to say, abundantly recommends it*'. 
 
 Our 
 
 * Too late for the body of our work, but, to our consola- 
 tion ! in time for notice here, has appeared one of those exam- 
 ples, in support of our precepts, which call for our acknow- 
 ledgment. Adelaide O'Kceffe, in retirement from th ♦ world, 
 and devotion of herself to tlje pious oflices of filial duty, has 
 produced an elegant work of moral instruction descriptive of 
 * P-ttriarchal Tiaies/ We are not fond of * familiar expo* 
 
 ^itioub/ 
 
INTRODUCTORT CHAPTER. XXXvii 
 
 Our information on the subject warrants U5 In 
 saying that there are no yowng women for whose 
 safety so much is to be apprehended as those for 
 whom this care ought to be used and is not exer- 
 cised. The upper ranks have no idea of the want 
 of wliat is called ' management' in those who live 
 by them. In high life the young people are in- 
 dustrious and moderate, when compared to their 
 tradesmen's daughters^. When my lord duke kindly 
 asks his manof fashions, or his suggestor of improve- 
 ments, after ' his girls,' he does not suspect tliat" 
 the Misses pilunder their father of every guinea to 
 buy finery, lest they should be behind their oppo- 
 site neighbors in folly and fashion ; that to walk 
 Pall-mall, and stare and be stared at, is the besc 
 purpose of this extravagance. The father himself, 
 purchasing a right to be equally a fool by con- 
 niving at their folly, is going home to introduce 
 at his table the last description of friends a wise 
 parent would wish to shew to his daughters : the 
 manners correspond with the men, and scenes fol- 
 low which would call our veracity in question. — 
 
 sitions,' or * chatty paraphrases' of the Scripture: but this 
 young adventurer in the regions of oriental probability, has 
 shewn her respect for her text by the decorum of her ampli- 
 fication; and those who read Milton, Klopstock or Gesner 
 with pleasure, will find nothing to offend and much to admire 
 in this her performance. She knows us not; but we say 
 * Go on, good girl.* 
 
 * A pueris nulio officio aut discipline assuefacti, nihil 
 ommn> contra voluntatem faciant. Caesar De Bello Gal- 
 lic©. IV. 1. In us. Delph. 
 
 A bankruptcy 
 
XXXviu INTRODUCTORY CHAPTSll. 
 
 A bankruptcy is the greatest good fortune in suck 
 cases. 
 
 The times call for other ideas ; and if parents 
 are too proud or too thoughtless, to believe or to 
 consider the probable fate of their family, the 
 young people ought to be wiser: the fate of nations 
 is printed in a legible type in view of all of us ; and 
 the girl who practised crying matches in a spaj*e 
 garret, because she was persuaded her father was 
 wanting in affection and promised her more than 
 jhe could perform, when he said he could provide 
 for her in idleness, is a reproof and an example not 
 to be sliiihted. The girl minht have cried matches 
 at this hour, had she been of the race of those 
 above described ; but, as may inferred from her 
 forethought, she has been found highly deserving 
 of a better fate. 
 
 Having thus far explained our motives and ur-» 
 ged their importance, we must speak of the execu- 
 tion of our plan. 
 
 The work has for its basis so much truth that it 
 roust not pretend to rank with efforts of invention. 
 Our business has been similar to that of the com- 
 piler in the ' Diable Boiteux' * arranger et lier des 
 larcins.' Such a mode of discipline as that of 
 Gertrude Aubrey was practised; and excepting 
 the •ftaltery almost inseparable from a portrait—^ 
 for who appears homely on modern canvas? — she 
 is an existing being. Whatever regards the cul- 
 ture and progress oi her mind, w hatever describes 
 her feelings or delivers her opinions, is tiuth ; and 
 
 ill 
 
IimiOBUCTORy chaptek. xxxix 
 
 in ttiettei^ of iticident, the truth is approached as 
 nearly aS consists with prudence^ 
 
 A story was necessary to connect circumstances 
 and recommend them to attention : it was likewise 
 requisite to shew how our Heve would use her ac- 
 quired powers ; but even here, as little fiction as 
 possible is introduced. With very few exceptions, 
 our characters are portraits and our elucidations 
 from real life; but as it is the folly and not the 
 foolish, that we have aimed at, we can say with 
 the Spectator that in drawing faulty characters, 
 we have taken care to dasli them >vith such parti- 
 cular circumstances as may prevent all ill-natured 
 application. 
 
 Perhaps some apology is due to our elegant rea- 
 ders for associating them in the outset with persons 
 of undignified manners and sentiments, and for 
 jiaving entered into detail not obviously important. 
 — A small exercise of patience will justify as: we 
 refine as we run ; and our aim will be perceived. 
 Those readers who greet NaUire wherever she is to 
 be found, and who, in other circumstances, have 
 tolerated descriptions of manners new to them- 
 selves, and evidently not congenial to those por* 
 traymg them, will be content with our., drawing 
 advkum, 
 
 Wfe may have fallen into unxletected inconsistent 
 "Cies; but of one we are sensible. When we s^ 
 out on the system of what is jocularly called we^- 
 gmism, we khew fiot that our name would be de- 
 ^^anded.:— it « ^vith the utmost repugnance, with 
 tio confidence in our own powers, and with a ju&t 
 
 VP-^* h. c deference. 
 
xl INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER. 
 
 deference for the public opinion, thiat we submit 
 ourselves to view ; but, supported by the integrity 
 of our intentions, we shrink from no feir reproof; 
 we dread no remorse of conscience, even in that 
 hour which must make us feel unprofitable deeds 
 as culpable. 
 
 Typographical errors have. been increased by a 
 distance from the scenes of business, and our in- 
 accuracies of punctuation are such as to leave us 
 nothing to request but a total disregard of it; 
 we wish these faults may outblaze those attributa- 
 ble to our too rapid pen. Even in our acknow- 
 ledged absurd inconsistency, there may be in- 
 volved another; we may have blended wegoiism 
 and eo'otism : but Casear writes * dixeram' and 
 * scripsimus.' 
 
 To criticism we are exposed : to censure those 
 who speak very plain truth are liable ; and perhaps 
 of- all who ever preceded us in print, we have the 
 least claim to lenity on a comparison of our per- 
 formance with our undertaking. Private causes 
 can hardly be pleaded in public delinquency; but if 
 our deservedly popular bard asks indulgence under 
 the distraction of mind occasioned by friendly re^ 
 gret, we may hope for mercy, at least from those 
 who have witnessed the almost momentary-inter- 
 ruptions of our pen by calls to alleviate the vari- 
 ous sufferings of others. In short, these yplumes 
 •have been compiled in distant places,- in .health 
 and sickness, in enjoyment, and in anxiety, but 
 seldom in quiet; and tliu event shews, almost t© 
 our total dismay, that ' nostri farr^o libell^' 
 
 is 
 
INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER. Xll 
 
 is a large mass of desultory matters, suggested 
 by casual recollections and occurrences, not well 
 arranged, subject to the inaccuracy of repetition, 
 and rendered prolix, sometimes by the request of 
 friends, and sometimes, perhaps, by natural infir- 
 mity. 
 
 Should our readers see much to disapprove, yet, 
 after this submission, feel averse to condemn, we 
 will most cheerfully sink into oblivion, will they 
 but advise their young people rather to spend their 
 time on the New Testament, as the source whence 
 we have borrowed or stolen all that is worth read- 
 ing in our volumes^ 
 
TH« 
 
 COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE ; 
 
 OR, 
 
 MODES OF DISCIPLINE. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 Jfter'thought never good. The ignorant not always to blamtf 
 tvhen they hate had no choice of being learned. Female 
 gourmandise. Stimulant snow in fashion. A genteel edum 
 cation, A chearful dwelling better than a dull one. Caprice 
 of dress. Time past md much better than time presents 
 Manners of court of Louis XIV, not quite so refined as 
 toe think them. Females of last age, some wise, some other 
 •wise. Anecdote of Mrs, B — , the tragedian. Distinctions 
 not lost an young people. 
 
 There are decisions of the judgment which, 
 though not suggested by more than ordinary in- 
 tellect, will stand the scrutiny of superior wisdom, 
 and to which nothing can be fairly objected but 
 that they occurred too late to be of any use : 
 had they presented themselves in the shape of 
 foresight rather than as matters of experience, 
 they might have saved us from error ; but now, 
 reflexion and regret are * mere loss of time and hin- 
 drance of business/ 
 
 VOL. I. B Such 
 
2 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 Such were the decisions of the Countess of Lux- 
 more, in a very short time after her marriage, when 
 she drew a vexatious comparison between her na- 
 tural Hberty of action as Miss Toms, the daughter 
 of a London banker, and one of the greatest of the 
 city- heiresses, emancipated from all control of 
 parents, guardians, and good sense, and her arti- 
 ficial restraint as the neglected wife of a man ot 
 quality, who admitted her to share with him little 
 more acquired advantage than his title and his 
 heraldic bearings. 
 
 That she had contracted an alliance, such as 
 the world denominates very ' imprudent,' she 
 could not be long ignorant ; but that the effects 
 were chargeable on the imprudence, she was not 
 disposed to admit. She told herself, and who 
 could not have told her ? that human life is, as 
 her poor father had often warned her, a lottery, 
 where the blanks are in tenfold proportion to the 
 prizes. Chance, luck, fortune, she had taught 
 herself by habits of expression, to accept for every 
 description of providential care, not merely as 
 adumbrations of that which respect forbids us to 
 .make common phrase, but as the deities succeed- 
 ing to Thor and Woden, in the superintendance 
 of human affairs. 
 
 . It is not our fault, if Nature has been a niggard 
 to us in the endowment of the mind : as little 
 cause for boasting have we, if she has been libe- 
 ral. Neither can we be very heavily censured for 
 not having profited by advantages unknown in 
 our time ; and, for whatever were the deficiences 
 
 of 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. S 
 
 of Miss Toms, we must, in common charity, and 
 to a certain extent, apologise by observing, that 
 female education was not the fashion at that time 
 when she might have been improved by it : she 
 therefore calls for allowances ; and if it be urged, 
 that even uneducated, she might have been more 
 agreeable than she will be found, we reply, that 
 experience proves to accurate observers, that the 
 animal spirits, and the features, often receive 
 their character from the discipline of our earliest 
 years, and that to deprive us of our chearfulness 
 is to take the win^s from our duties. 
 . If any of the spoiled children of our time, they 
 whose talents cannot put forth a germ, unper- 
 ceived and unfostered, nay, perhaps, not even un- 
 anticipated, are inclined to look with disdain, 
 instead of gratitude, on those who wish to make 
 them what is called ' wiser,' tlmn themselves, let 
 them recollect, and wait for our proof of the fact, 
 that females have been but newly indulged as they 
 are now ; and that, should the next generation of 
 females be taught military tactics and the Chinese 
 language, the young of the present day may have 
 to ask the candour they now refuse. Education, 
 like dress, is in ordinary minds to be accounted 
 fpr by a reference to fashion ; and if the fashion 
 was followed, and not chosen by ourselves, the 
 fardingale, and the art of raising pie-crust, are 
 entitled to as much respect as the Grecian cos- 
 tume, and the art of china-painting. 
 
 And even, if talents may sometimes be procured 
 by inheritance, Miss Toms had still a small chance 
 
4 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 of possessing any ; and if they must be encouraged 
 before they can discover themselves, she stands as 
 fairly excused ; for she had not so much encou- 
 ragement as that of opposition to assist her. Soma 
 fastidious people, indeed, may fancy that there is 
 an activity of goodness in every sound heart, an 
 activity connected with a simple sense of duty, 
 and guided by the common behests of consci- 
 ence — that net one in a thousand of us perhaps 
 has genius, but that there are few who have not 
 some pulse, some power, or some wish that raises 
 them from inanition, and that it needs nothing 
 but a retrospect to that law, which we acknmv- 
 ledge as our rule, to learn that we must give an 
 account of the interest we make of all, even the 
 very little, that may have been committed to our 
 charge. 
 
 But, perhaps, reasoning was not in fashion in 
 the youth of Miss Toms : these ideas had no spon- 
 taneous existence in her mind ; and she had, poor 
 girl ! no one near to impart them. Slie had lost 
 her mother, almost at her birth : the good lady, 
 whose tastes were rather wayward, had preferred, 
 too early in her state of convalescence, the glo- 
 rious pleasure of the palate to the tardy satisfac-*. 
 tion of forbearance, and she paid onli/ her life for 
 four square inches of toasted cheese. We shud- 
 der at suicide — we talk of its heinousness — we 
 execrate it. What shall we say to a woman, who 
 at any time makes eating a pleasure ?— What shall 
 vi:Qnot say of her, who not yet fully invested with 
 lUeofiiceo£ambtlier, can forego its delights;, and 
 
 - forget 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 5 
 
 forget her infant, for a gratification of the lowest 
 kind, and which leaves no trace but in the injury 
 to her then sacred trust, her health ? — The bride- 
 groom, who invited his friend to see his tigress 
 eat, was hardly dealt with by the instantaneous 
 claim of a separate maintenance. There are vices 
 /which are in themselves an outlawr}^, and surely 
 I this is one. 
 
 Is it pobsible that any lady can like eating ? says 
 I my pretty little starveling neighbour, who diets 
 iwith the sparrows. Certainly it is a great pleasure 
 : to some, even of the present day. Observe Miss 
 I Womanly, the Miss Cramwells, Mrs. Hautgout, 
 and half of those who make up the chorus of large 
 dinner parties, where the table must be filled, and 
 I where we make agreement with our next neighs 
 i hour, * I have let you eat your soup, will you in- 
 dulge me by letting me eat this wing of a fowl !^ 
 ' — ^I'he first of these ladies, at thirteen, brags of 
 *'the turtle-dinners she has partaken, and can dis- 
 sertate on the various flavors of the various ani- 
 trials. — ^The eldest Miss Cramwell makes it her 
 rule to 'taste of every thing;' while her sister is 
 confident she can detect every ingredient in a made- 
 dish. — Mrs. Hautgout has her venison-closet, to 
 which her husband very justifiably orders her, 
 whenever the haunch has been kept to please her 
 palate ; and all these ladies will ' t^ke wine' ^t 
 table, till prudent men, in common charity to 
 them, forbear the temptation, and bow in silence 
 when it is forced on thpm. 
 
6 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 * As to wine,' says Lady Smellcork, * I see no ' 
 harm in a little. I detest eating as much as any 
 body can. I'm sure I don't get an ounce of meat 
 down in a week — my stomach turns at the sight of 
 victuals ; but God knows what would become of 
 us all without Port and Madeira ! I had it from 
 my cradle; and I certainly shall not leave it off 
 now.' 
 
 We believe you, good lady ; but the effects pro- 
 duced in you, and in others, who have been treated 
 with port wine from their cradle, will not recom- 
 mend the practice, unless the impunity with which 
 you swallow a bottle of Madeira at a sitting, be 
 a convenience. That physician would deserve the 
 thanks of the community, who should, except in 
 special cases, forbid the practice of giving wine to 
 infants : the circulation of the blood in children 
 wants no accelerating : the constitution loses the 
 benefit it might, in need, derive from an untried 
 medicine : the dose must be enlarged every time 
 it is called for, and hence much of the present 
 prevailing and deleterious practice resorted to, in 
 the failure of animal spirits. None but medical 
 men know how very common is the practice of 
 taking ardent spirits, among women of rank, and 
 those often very young women. It is fact, and we 
 will not scruple to disclose it, that the brandy-bot 
 tie is sent to the apothecary to be drugged, that it 
 may rank as medicine. All the various nervous 
 resorts fiom camphor, red lavender, essential oils, 
 aether, up, or doxvn if you please, to solid opium, 
 
 are 
 
 i 
 
THE COUJ^TESS AND GtRTRUDE. 7 
 
 are gradations too nearly allied to those by which 
 the reason is undermined, and the moral character 
 destroyed *. If there were security in acting ho- 
 nestly, we might have some hope ; but want of 
 shame is a dangerous species of honesty ; and Miss 
 Belvidere, who accounts for her charming spirits 
 at last ball, by a double dose of laudanum, taken 
 after she had put on her rouge, is no safer in her 
 practice than Mrs. Calx, whose alcohol is charged 
 m her house-book by any name but its own. Biit 
 this is not the practice in its most terrific form. 
 We have just learnt, that ' a pretty present' for a' 
 young lady at school, is a medicine- chest, ele- 
 gantly fitted up, containing essences and extracts 
 of various descriptions, and French brandy ! In- 
 stances have occurred where the young lady has 
 been cautioned ^ to say nothing on the subject, but 
 to take just a little' of these good things when- 
 ever she finds lierself low. What are liqueurs, 
 between the courses of a dinner, compared to these 
 comforts for youth ? 
 
 * The use of opiates, as stimulants, in the ordinary occu- 
 pations of lite, is growing alarming. A medical friend of 
 cur's was employing a smith: he asked hirn what he would 
 have to drink, — * Something out of the shop, if you please, 
 "Sir :' was his answer. When asked ' What ?' he chose, lau- 
 danum ; and having tdken a quantity scarcely credible, he 
 held out his hand, and, with a bogging face, said, * And now. 
 Sir, if you please, a bit of the solid' — this was opium, and he 
 was indulged. There are hair-dressers and laundresses in 
 London, who cannot begin their work without two-penny- 
 -worth of what they call Loddy—they say it gaes farther than 
 rCeneva. 
 
 We 
 
S THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 We return to Miss Toms. The little heiress 
 who, as an aukward care, gave little joy to hei^ 
 surviving parent, was removed from her father's 
 house of business where she was born, to the tene- 
 ment of a nurse on Bethnal Green, and thus 
 afforded Mr. Toms a happy opportunity of being 
 witty, in comparing her to the heroine of the ob- 
 solete ballad connected with this rural spot ; and 
 also of hinting at future greatness, by his equal 
 ability, with the beggar of the song, to ' vie an- 
 gels* — understand, reader, ten-shilling-pieces, not 
 celestial beings, with any lord in Christendom. 
 
 At Bethnal Green Miss Nancy was kept, till a 
 maiden-aunt, on reporting a visit of inspection, 
 closed her detail with * And I declare to good- 
 ness, brother, beside her bad words, I saw her 
 get up on a jack-ass, behind a chimney-sweeper T 
 Under a conviction that this, at five years old, 
 -was rather indecorous for a young lady ' who 
 was to have so much money,' she was removed 
 by her aunt, and, with a new wardrobe, and the 
 intimation that a great honour was conferred, 
 gent to a school behind the church of Stratford le 
 Bow. 
 
 If, as we have hinted, first impressions have any 
 pfTect on the future hue of the mind, Miss Toms's 
 may be traced back to the characteristic dulness 
 of this mansion of instruction, the windows of 
 which, divided into compartments by stone-work, 
 and crossed and recrossed by alternations of lead 
 and iron, might reasonably have been complained 
 of, as excluding the sight of enlivening objects, but 
 
 enlivening 
 
 I 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 9 
 
 enlivening objects there were none to see ; and 
 meagre poverty and its thousand cares — cares 
 from which the mind of an instructor ought to be 
 exempt, were the inmates of the house, and the 
 occupation of those who professed there to train 
 the youth of their own sex. They did not indeed 
 talk of ■ useful elegance and liberal virtue,' as the 
 horizon of their endeavours : they did not write 
 over their door Mucuit utile dulci : they did not 
 even nick-name their house; but they did not 
 doubt they could make Miss Toms ' a very gen- 
 teel young lady.' 
 
 Without gaiety, life may be passed in perfect 
 satisfaction ; but without chearfulness, it is hard 
 to be content. The pleasure of a clean, light, 
 and well arranged house, communicates itself to 
 the possessor, and is diffused to all who partake 
 or who visit it. It is a species of comfort felt 
 and understood by all, and makes a cottage as 
 much an object of envy as a palace ; nay, per- 
 haps, it is more conspicuous in the lowly than in 
 the ostentatious dwelling. In the rage for change, 
 and the capricious resumption of discarded in- 
 conveniences, let us earnestly deprecate, as pecu- 
 liarly hostile to our social feelings, a resort to 
 the dim light and chilling want of ventilation, 
 which may still be contemplated behind the church 
 of Stratford le Bow, and nearer at hand, in some 
 modern specimens of our imitation of King James's 
 gothic. We would forbear the hint, if we saw 
 that having once adopted what is good, is a se- 
 curity against extreme avidity in seeking the re- 
 verse ; 
 
10 THE COUNTESS AND GEnTRUDE. 
 
 verse ; but our very cloaths bear witness against 
 us. Not long ago, we had dressed ourselves in 
 all the elegant simplicity of classic taste : dress 
 was becoming in all polished cities, a sort of uni- 
 versal language : when the first rage was over, 
 we had accommodated the style to our country 
 and to tlie state of society, and women^ could be 
 respectable in their appearance without deviating 
 from fashion; when, on a sudden, the flowing 
 line was changed for peaks and angles, and the 
 tombs of Westminster abbey seemed to furnish our 
 ideas. No credit attacnc^ to the change. Even 
 the most scrupulous had been convinced that we 
 could be Grecian without being meretricious ; 
 and they certainly did not applaud us for our re- 
 treat to the Gothic *. 
 
 * We would not, for any credit our taste might gain, be 
 understood as approving, even in comparison with our very 
 worst fashions, the French antique, which we have witnessed ; 
 and at which we have, on more feelings than one, shuddered. 
 
 It is a matter of fact, that Lady was obliged to throw 
 
 a shawl over the exposed person of her daughter, to stop the 
 hisses of a theatre. It was a revolution in sentiment, as well 
 as in dress, that had then been attempted. Before that 
 period, it may be observed, our cloaths had been the ob. 
 ject; and that, which should best exhibit their materials and 
 their form, was the best fashion : the hoop, the stomacher, 
 the sleeve, the shape of the head, nay the shoes, were made 
 to carry and display ornaments. Fashion, or something 
 else, changed the direction of the eye towards us ; and our 
 outlir.e, nay, our skin, became matter of curiosity. We, 
 oun>elvcs, heard the daughter of a clergyman in the country, 
 say, when speaking in praise of the then fashion, that * she 
 liked people should be able to guess whereabouts she was in 
 her deaths'— and, indeed, it was a guess safely ventured. 
 
 At 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. U . 
 
 At sixteen, Miss Nancy was taken from school, 
 and established as mistress of her father's house, 
 in order to rescue the concerns of it from the de- 
 predations of his two domestics, who, hating 
 married, had thus one common interest, not ex- 
 actly according with that of their principal. He 
 had not seen lier since her last great shoot of per- 
 son, and being rather a little man himself, he was 
 prodigiously gratified by her uncommon height- 
 To all who asked after * Miss,' he replied, in terms 
 of exultation at her size ; and, estimating her by 
 the proportion of bone she carried about her, he 
 thought her * an amazing fine girl,' and began 
 to be proud of her. Not at all unlike was his 
 pride to that of the hedge-sparrow, or -water 
 wag-tail, which has had the honour of rearing a 
 cuckow. 
 
 She had brought home a very slight tincture 
 of the very slight accomplishments tauglit behind 
 the church of Stratford le Bow : their number 
 might, perhaps, have been lessened, could any 
 one connected with her have made a selection; 
 but when asked ' Is Miss to learn this ?' and 
 * Should not a young lady of such great fort'm 
 be instructed in this?' the maiden aunt, with 
 summary decision — at all times the readiest way 
 of getting rid of the ^ pro and cori of a business 
 -—saved herself and her brother trouble, and a 
 penny-w orth of postage, by saying, ' Nance had 
 better learn every thing.' The first seven years 
 therefore produced a hornpipe, exhibited with a 
 shepherdess's crook — the minuet in Sampson — 
 
 'My 
 
15 THE COUNTESS AXT) GERTRUDE. 
 
 ' My heart's my own, my will is free' — and a map 
 of England and Wales, done in marking-stitch on 
 fine white canvas, in which * St. George's chanel/ 
 and the counties of * Lester,' Lincon,' and 
 
 * Buckenham,' stood forth conspicuous proofs of 
 accurate orthography. These fruits, with a series 
 of official letters, written on ruled paper, and 
 copied from a slate filled for her, informing * Dear 
 and honoured Papa' of her health, and the ' ap- 
 proaching holydays,' formed the value received for 
 about thirty-five pounds a year of hjs money *. 
 
 It is an infirmity of increasing age to suppose 
 human nature in a state of decadence, and to re- 
 fer to time past, as time to be imitated. Nothing 
 can be a more complete delusion : every age pro- 
 bably appears, to those who live in it, the worst 
 ever known t, and fears are entertained by every 
 generation of human beings, and on foundations 
 pot obviously slight, that rula must close the 
 
 . * Of much more recent date than Miss Tom.s*s edu- 
 cation, is a pleasure we once experienced in hearing a 
 laiiy, educated at rather a better school, teach her little boy 
 -elocution. Gay's Fable of the Old Hen and the Cock was 
 the exercise, and great were the pains bestowed on making 
 
 * Master/ when he came to the jast line, pronounce it~- 
 
 * But FOR my mother'^ prohibition !' We could almost have 
 supposed the same lady had taught the reverend gentlemen, 
 who make the leprosy of Naaman to cleave to Gehazi forever* 
 as well as to his offspring, ami, who turn St. Peter's ques' 
 tioiiy ' What glory is it?' into < What glory is itK 
 
 + It was the opinion of the late Lord Mansfield, that vice 
 did not vary in its quantity, but apportioned itself variously 
 amongst the several classes of society, 
 
 - 5 scene 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. IS 
 
 scene before us. The preceding ages, indeed, 
 have passed safely over, but this does not prove, 
 nor does any thing we can trace in history prove, 
 that those who flourished in them were free from 
 our fears. Thus it is in morals ; and to descend 
 to manners, we cannot find out that in the time 
 of Miss Toms's education, or even of her grand- 
 mother's, the manners of young persons were at 
 all better than now ; and in cultivation of intel- 
 lect certainly they would bear no comparison. If 
 we had been asked at what time, and in what 
 country, women might have appeared to the most 
 advantage, we should perhaps have replied, 
 that setting the v'wtues out of the question, the 
 court of Louis XIV. must have afforded the finest 
 field for manners and accomplishments. But we 
 stand corrected by having read the memoirs of 
 Mademoiselle de Montpensier daughter to Gas- 
 ton Duke of Orleans, the younger brotlier of 
 Louis XIIL, and son of Henry IV. The first 
 heirers of France, and the first match in the world, 
 as she vvas esteemed, one would imagine that if 
 education had ever been an object, it here would 
 have been perfect; but one more completely 
 trumpery, or a more incongruous mind ttjan it 
 made out of a character, neither destitute of 
 strong sense, nor of singular qualities, can rarely 
 be found. We would recommend every one who ia 
 disposed to refer us for examples to tlie latter half 
 of the seventeenth century, to contemplate the cha- 
 racters of the many ladies who make a conspicuous 
 figure 'ux the dnemoirs of Mademoiselle. Th^ 
 
 scene 
 
14 THE COUN^TESS At^D GERTIlUi:)E. 
 
 scene at the death of our unhappy Princess, wife 
 to the Duke of Orleans, that of the queen mother*, 
 and the funeral of the wife of Louis XlVf- prove 
 at least, beyond all question, that the French 
 ought to be the most ceremonious people on earth ; 
 the instant their trammels are taken off, they shew 
 themselves to a great disadvantage. 
 
 It is to be hoped that the intellect can hardly be 
 cultivated to any purpose, without a visible effect on 
 the manners ; and that therefore we may, notwith- 
 standing the many exceptions we are compelled to 
 admit, claim some advantage over past ages. One 
 good result has certainly been obtained by the dif- 
 fusion of knowledge ; women possessing it, do not 
 think themselves privileged to depart from the 
 practice of the world : there is no affectation of 
 superiority where the enjoyment of any thing is in 
 the power of many ; and not to omit the decencies 
 of life, is a point with those who, some years ago, 
 might have claimed exemptions. 
 
 That the last century produced women of ta- 
 lents, who must at any period of time have been 
 distinguished, the press has afforded irrefragable 
 proofs ; some of these possessed a greater or less 
 
 * Of this lady's personal neatness, which was always a 
 trait of her character. Mademoiselle gives a striking proof : 
 she says—* Lorsqu*on lui mit les saintes huiles aux oreilles, 
 elle dit a Madame de Fleix, levez bien mcs cornettes, de 
 pour que ces huiles nY touclient, parce qu'cUes sentiroient 
 mauvais/ 
 
 t Les mousquctaires qui la menercnt, chasserent dans la 
 plaine de &t. Denis; et on rit beaucoup dans les carroses.. 
 
 degree 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. IJ 
 
 degree of learning, some talents, some good 
 sense ; but all of them were companions for men 
 of literature. Still, however, they bore a very 
 small proportion to the mass of females in this 
 country. While one daughter of a family had, by 
 her own industry and application, rendered herself, 
 to common apprehension, a prodigy, it was not 
 unusual for all the rest to be deplorably ignorant; 
 and it has not unfrequently been the mortificatioa 
 of a sensible girl, to see a brother bring home a 
 wife almost as ignorant as the cook-maid. To be 
 driven to the direful necessity of writing a letter, 
 was, when the misfortune of a timid mind, to 
 undergo the hazard of a nervous fever : the pen 
 jfnust be taken up as it was left by the last occu- 
 pier, and not all the aid of the best selling book in 
 the English language, Entick's Dictionary, could 
 give certainty in orthography ; the monosyllables, 
 not suspected of poner \o puzzle, escaped scrutiny, 
 and consequently betrayed the writer, while all 
 the miserable chance-medley of punctuation, and 
 the misplaced grenadiqr corps of capital letters, 
 gave reason to suppose that the ear had decided 
 in one case, and the eye in the other. On 
 the contrary, now to write ill or incorrectly is 
 disgraceful, and not to have ideas in the mind to 
 fill a sheet of paper, would argue a sad defect. 
 In other points of attainment, we are greatly im- 
 proved, be our quantum of real goodness what it 
 may; and surely it is better to do things well 
 than ill. Nothing above the keepers of a low inn 
 or retail shop, would be content with their daugh- 
 ter's 
 
16 THE COUKTESS ANU GERXnUDE. 
 
 ter's sqnallinc!: n vulgar love song, or decorating 
 their Sunday room witli a tawdry piece of em- 
 broidery *. 
 
 The demands made on young ladies, ^vhen ]\f iss 
 Toms was at schooi, were not rigorous ; but if 
 ever she was warned of her deficiencies, she had 
 a ready reply in her knowledge of the wealth to 
 which she n\ as born. She might have been told a 
 plain truth — * There arc things which money can- 
 not buy ;' — but nobody at Stratford le Bow knew 
 that : it is a late discovery, and one which tends 
 so admirably to settle the value of bullion in the 
 market, that it cannot be too early unfolded, or 
 too often recalled to the minds of the rising gene- 
 ration : for, grief to say, though we live not in a 
 sordid age, children, much to young to collect 
 such artiticial ideas, have very soon a notion of 
 the superiority implied by money and its represen- 
 tatives, fine clothes, a fine house, a fine carriage, 
 and, above all, a service of plate, or those pre- 
 cursors of aspiring pride, and as often of de- 
 grading ban!:ruptcy, the silver dishes at the corners 
 of mama's table. 
 
 ♦ We lecture the young people of the present day, if of 
 our own sex, nith * When I was a girl, such and such deco- 
 rums wore observed/ But there were, even then, exceptions 
 
 to decorum. The celebrated Mrs. B , the tragedijin, was 
 
 niece to a woman whom an imprudent match had raised to 
 affluence ; to gain a husband for her, was the aunt's endea- 
 vour: a young man, with sober habits, and a taste for music, 
 was fi\ed on; she was set down to needle work in full view, 
 vith ' the Practice of Piety' conspicuous in her work-basket, 
 and being bid to sing, she obeyed —we cannot record the »oog 
 —we should not be credited— the fish would not bite. 
 
THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 1? 
 
 CHAPTER IL 
 
 Jn hcireus debut. Mmners mot dwayt tie tame. A sordid 
 education. A step-daughter in fault ! How to make a cross 
 kwhandcrosser. Gojd adzice to a son-in-larx. An oj/pressed 
 innocent. Hcrx to make Sunday odious M rning amuiC" 
 mcnts. Chance of matrimony. Taste for muse. Portrait 
 of a concert. Importance of public singers. Anecdotes. 
 
 If such had been the cultivation of our heiress's 
 mind, we may pretty accurately guess the crop 
 produced. The death of her maiden aunt, and the 
 inertion of her father, invested her, on assumincr 
 her station, with despotic authority. He was habi- 
 tually, but if habits inherited can excuse, pardon^ 
 ably, sordid in his ideas and manners ; his love of 
 gain amounted, almost without his being conscious 
 of it, to covetousness ; but as this propensity does 
 not necessarily imply parsimony, he was exempt 
 from some of that solicitude to keep hb gains to* 
 gether, which would have restrained liis Nancy's 
 expences: she had carte blanche on the house; 
 and provided she took care to have his breakfast, 
 dinner, and supper at the hours that suited him, 
 and of a kind that as he said * might repay him 
 for the fag of the day,' she might do whatever 
 pleased her : on two points only, did he presume 
 to offer counsel — he advised her * not to be idle'— 
 and ^ to go to church whenever it did not rain, on 
 VOL. I. c the 
 
1? THE COUXTESS AND GERTRUDE, 
 
 the Sunday.' The reason for the first admonition 
 M'as, he said, to keep his stockings and shirts in 
 repair — for the second, he urged the superior 
 chance of getting ' a real good husband,' and one 
 who \vould take care of her money. Places of 
 public amusement, he confessed, were not so 
 agreeable to him as * looking over the books,' and 
 there was nothing to be got there but ' fine fellows, 
 ^vho never knew the earning of a guinea, and 
 therefore would never know how to keep one.' 
 Nancy was not disobedient ; she put one shirt out 
 of a set, into her work-basket; and when papa 
 asked — 'Well, Nance, how many shirts more to 
 make?' he supposed the solitary garment a sam- 
 ple. She, <luly as ^the Sabbath returned, put on 
 her last new decorations, and repaired to the pa- 
 rish church, and, at two o'clock, when the dinner 
 drew her father home from the coffee-house, ar 
 up from ' the books,' she reported as many of the 
 congregation as her observation had reached. 
 Thus habituated to the discharge of a religious 
 duty, she continued the custom for a whole year, 
 when perceiving that nobody who could get out 
 of London, remained in it on that day of the 
 w^eek, she prevailed on her father to dispense with 
 the necessity when it was cold weather, or wet 
 weather, or weather that might be cold, or might 
 be wet; and to substitute for it the seeing a little 
 company, and making a yearly excursion out of 
 town. 
 
 Miss Toms, having the credit of passing for 
 four years older than she was, went through all 
 
 the 
 
THE COUNTE.^S AND GERTRUDE. IQ 
 
 the ceremonial of a less confined mode of life with 
 perfect steadiness and self-possession. She took 
 the old gentleman to all the amusements she wish- 
 ed to partake, or if he was disinclined, she soon 
 went alone ; and learning in the course of one 
 winter, that the ^vest end of the town was the best, 
 she divided herself between such entertainments as 
 the great allow the little to help to maintain, and 
 those Avhich the recollection of his ' one rich 
 
 I daughter/ made her father's friends emulously 
 
 I provide for them. 
 
 A very laudable degree of refinement has de- 
 prived us of that knowledge of manners which was 
 transmitted by the old genteel comedy; and as 
 those works of imagination which come under the 
 description of novels and romances, contain more 
 frequently portraits of fictitious beings, acting ac- 
 cording to the fancy of the writer, than real deli- 
 neations of human nature as it has existed : the 
 memory of the Nestors of the age becomes the 
 only record of that vthich passed in the generations 
 immediately preceding us *. 
 
 What our ancestors were content with, it is 
 however gratifying to an enquiring mind to know ; 
 and it tends in some measure, if not to our mode- 
 ration, to our right judgment of the incessant, 
 
 * Let no one be misled into an opinion that the writings, 
 even of Richardson, give us the manners of the time. A 
 very well informed friend of ours assures us, thai her mother, 
 in whose middle age they were the most popular, considered 
 their manners as being no more like those of her time, than 
 they now appear like those of the present day, 
 
 c '2 iiut 
 
20 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 but silent step of time, when we look back to 
 the point which he had reached between certain 
 periods. 
 
 Regretting the loss of any species of informa- 
 tion that can make us acquainted with matter of 
 fact, but not at all wishing to restore polluted 
 fountains, we will recollect a little of what oral 
 tradition has taught us were parts of domestic 
 manners and habits, in the rank of life in which 
 ]\Iiss Toms rose on the world. We will speak of 
 the family of Mrs. Toms, who had brought her 
 husband a fortune, esteemed large for that time — 
 ten thousand pounds. 
 
 Nothing could have been narrower than Mrs. 
 Toms's education : her daughter's was * classical' 
 compared to it. The parent had suffered, from 
 her birth, all that sort of discipline, or rather 
 oppression, which just stops short of murder. She 
 was untowardly born when her father had * wound 
 up his affairs,' and made his w ill : she was born 
 when he was retiring from the fatigues of the law, 
 to a house he had built in the keenest exposure" 
 that four miles north of London affords ; and, in 
 consequence of the projected remove, the house 
 in which she first saw the light, was let, as it is 
 termed, ^ over her head.' The chansje of dwellinjj: 
 had been planned, so as to have avoided this co- 
 alition of distresses ; but, perhaps, the anxiety and 
 bustle it brought, defeated the intention; for 
 mama \\2isji,red in the conclusion of her cares, and 
 the unwelcome intruder came six weeks too soon — - 
 little, delicate; and black-eyed. If any tiling 
 
 could 
 .9 
 
THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 21 
 
 could have put in good humour a man who never 
 was so, the child's being a boy might have con- 
 tributed to the desirable purpose, as it would, in 
 some measure, have secured him against the soli- 
 citude consequent on the w^eak health of his only- 
 son ; but a girl she was, and being, as soon as 
 she was moveable, carried to this northern villa, 
 she w'as frozen for life. 
 
 Among the arrangements of this family, one 
 which marks strongly the difference of manners, 
 w^as the sending the son, who had all the qualities 
 and recommendations of a gentleman, at a boy's 
 age, into Yorkshire for education, with the parti- 
 cular view of curing him of daintiness in eating. 
 Forgive us if we here anticipate by remarking the 
 effect of this care. His mother, when he was 
 afterwa'^ds living at home, would give four shillings 
 a pound, a sum equal certainly to seven now, for 
 fresh salmon for his supper, and paid thankfully a 
 hundred times the regular price to get a pidgeon 
 pie baked for him at an unseasonable hour; he 
 complained that fillet of veal set his teeth on edge, 
 and was sure he could discover by his palate from 
 which side of the breast of a turkey he was helped. 
 Execrable as is all the modern kitchen lore so prac- 
 tically professed by our men of fashion, is it worse 
 than this silly voluptuousness, and its more silly 
 indulgence by a silly mother?^ who to fulfil com- 
 pletely her duties, as her children grew up, con- 
 nived at, and furnished the means for a species of 
 enjoyment for them, which, it is hoped, will hard- 
 ly now gain credit. 
 
 Dining 
 
0,2 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUPJE. 
 
 Dining at the early hour of the times, the young 
 people were very well disposed for an eight o'clock 
 supper, which was prepared for them by stealth in 
 the servants' hall, and consisted of just that spe- 
 cies of provision which ought to have been forbid- 
 den them, with wine and the indulgences of a libe- 
 ral dinner ; and so satisfied were the minds of ' 
 these young pigs, with * stolen waters,' and 'bread 
 eaten in secret/ that though it sometimes happen- 
 ed, for want of a little management, that they || 
 had, in their pet its soupers, exactly the dish which 
 they agreed in disliking at dinner, when provided 
 in the regular way, it was no abatement of the en- 
 joyment ; it was, * in secret,' ' if not stolen,' and 
 therefore it was pleasant. That the young man, 
 who was by nature of a consunjptive habit, lived 
 to thirty-live, and then died onlij of epilepsy, is 
 more wonderful than that he lived no longer. 
 
 We have said Mrs. Toms's education was sor- 
 did. Let us see it in detail. She was sent to an 
 old woman in the village *to be taught her letters,' 
 as it xcas not decided that sbe should not be able 
 to read—it xvas, that she should not know how to 
 write, and this for an excellent reason ; her mo^ 
 ther's daughter, by a former husband, had made 
 a run-away match ; and as -Mercury always passes 
 for the coadjutor of Cupid and Hymen, the good 
 gentleman argued, that if his step-daughter had 
 not been able to write, she would not have ' cast 
 her affections' on a journeyman linen-draper, in 
 preference to a Turkey merchant, who had offered 
 himself and q, coach and six. To. this grievous 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 23 
 
 and truly deplorable violation of all the ties of 
 duty, aftection, and gratitude, must in justice be 
 ascribed much of the moroseness, and we may say 
 cruelty, under which the children of the second 
 marriage suffered, — it was unjust as well as unrea- 
 sonable ; but so was the .determination of the dog 
 who would never go out in a shower after the cook 
 had scalded him. 
 
 This fugitive nymph had been beloved by her 
 step-father with that tender and delicate partiality, 
 which her near relation to the object of an ardent 
 passion, might more than exguse in a susceptible 
 mind. Five thousand pounds had been left her by 
 her father, w hich he who was now in his place, 
 and by his will her guardian, not without the deep- 
 est considerations and the best warranty, invested 
 in the funds of those never-to-be-forgotten adven- 
 turous gentlemen, the South Sea Company. Every 
 shilling was lost, and the conscientious guardian, 
 to the admiration of Lord Chancellor Hardwicke, 
 though exonerated even in the eye of the law, re- 
 funded the whole to his ward ; and in the subse- 
 quent settlement of his property after this transter, 
 still allotted her, as he had before designed, such 
 a share with his own daughters as would make her 
 provision exactly equal to theirs. The lovely lit- 
 tle girl was too young to be then sensible ot her 
 obligation^ but neither that when disclosed to her, 
 nor the constant indulgence of her utmost wishes, 
 nor the care taken to give her the best appearance 
 and education of the time, could work on a headv 
 strong vulgar mindj with which nature had fortified 
 
24 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 her. She asked permission to pass a week with 
 some friends at a distance ; the arrangement wa» 
 made, and dismissing her fathers carriage and 
 servants, under pretence of having been met on 
 the road by two of the family, she got into London, 
 was mai ried, and made her next appearance in a 
 linen-draper's shop in Smithfield, which her money 
 had procured the scoundrel -lover credit to open. 
 Unawed and unfeeling, even when in a personal 
 interview, her ill requited guardian gave up to her 
 whatever remained in his hands of trust or pro- 
 perty, and deaf to the generosity with which he, 
 with eyes not tearless, conjured her husband to 
 repay by kindness the great sacrifice she had made 
 to him, of home, of family, and almost of fame, 
 she with the .usual resource of extreme turpitude 
 affected to be the indignant personage, and added 
 to her ingratitude every species of insolence that 
 could be conveyed by exhibiting herself to those 
 who might report it, in the most degrading offices, 
 and by charging them with messages replete with 
 contempt. For the example of youth, the moral 
 of this tale must not be withheld. She lived to 
 feel that the common comforts of sickness were 
 withheld by the wretch on whom she had bestowed 
 herself. Ihe female companion of her clandestine 
 flight, the daughter of a neighbour, was severely 
 punished by the high honor of her quaker- father, 
 who never again would admit under his roof even 
 his favourite child, after she had been engaged in 
 so foul a plot. 
 
 'Ti3 
 
THE COUNTBSS AJ^D GERTRUDE. 2^ 
 
 'Tis injustice operating on a feeling heart that 
 makes misanthropy, an I I\lrs. Toms's father, after 
 this disappointment, hecame a misanthrope — not 
 uncanJid, not uncharitable; but professing that 
 ' he knew not now in whom to place confidence/ 
 he ^ave himself up to spleen and seclusion, and 
 frequently to his cliiidren iterated the expression, 
 * you suffer for the faults of another !' 
 
 A disposition not natural lo him, and certainly 
 not ^ easy in the wear,' might have met relief from 
 kind opposition, had his wile possessed prudence ; 
 but he had scarcely conquered the hrst feeling of 
 this deep vexation, when he found his home made 
 uneasy by his lady's partiality for a woman, a 
 widow with a small income, and who had all those 
 low' recommendations, which procure to the base 
 half their living, and prompt them to repay the 
 favor by sowing the se^d of discontent in the mind 
 of a benefactor. Ail the griefs, contradictions, and 
 hardships of married life, were detailed to this 
 confidante, and heard by her, not with ' grains of 
 allowance,' but with that soothing flattery which 
 encourages not only to detail but to imagine misery ; 
 and the husband disliking even what he w^as per- 
 mitted to see of tiiis disposition in the ladies, so 
 far exerted his authority as to beg INIrs. Tattle-aid's 
 visits might not be too frequent. Being called 
 from home on sudden business to a considerable 
 distance, the opportunity was taken to invite not 
 merely this bosom friend, but a large party of 
 exactly those friends, whom it may be presumed 
 for substantial reasons, he most disliked, and re- 
 turning 
 
2^ THE COIJNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 turning before his appointed time, he found his 
 house thus filled, and his cellar emptied of some 
 of his choicest wines. Let it be a lesson to per- 
 sons capable of enjoying such pleasures, that from 
 that hour, his wife could never obtain even the 
 smallest gratification for herself or her children : 
 her word was air to him, and she had no means of 
 doing even what was necessary, but pilfering from 
 her allowance for the ex pences of the house, and 
 consequently keeping a succession of false accounts. 
 Consistent with such a mind, was her counsel to 
 Mr. Toms on marrying her daughter ' Look sharp 
 after her, for she is very cunning.' 
 
 The son was now the father's only object of re* 
 gard, though his heart was not entirely callous to 
 the pleasures of friendship ; the younger of his 
 two daughters had more in her composition that 
 made its way to the affections, but being the object 
 of more than her share of dislike fi'om her father, 
 he revenged her inopportune intrusion into his 
 genealogical table by laying to the charge of a 
 helpless little delicate girl all the dilapidations con> 
 jnitted in the house ; and she was beaten and horse- 
 whipt for doing mischief, which if she had had the 
 will she had not the power to perpetrate ; — 'cover 
 her neck over that I may not see the w heals on 
 it,* — this was the atoning acknowledgment made 
 by a severe father when he had accused and pu- 
 nished unjustly. 
 
 Deprived of every species of employment but 
 needlework, the poor girl passed a life of extreme 
 dqlness— every year buried the family in closer 
 
 seclusion 
 
 r 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 27 
 
 seclusion than the former ; and Sunday was spent 
 in a way that made it a day of abhorrence. The 
 father had been a Calvinist, but so far conformed 
 for the sake of marrying, as to go in the morning to 
 church, and in the afternoon to meeting ; but the 
 Calvinist predominated in his ideas and habits, 
 and part of the observance of the day of rest was 
 the shutting out all the light but what was necessary 
 to avoid the chairs and tables : the intervals between 
 public worship he filled up by hearing his children 
 repeat the * Assembly's Catechism,* and in the 
 evening his family and the servants were called in 
 to hear sermons of four hours* endurance ; in read- 
 ing which he paused only to bid his w ife ' make 
 that child stand' when tlie youugest was observed 
 to drop off' her chair asleep. 
 
 It was to the kindness of her affectionate brother 
 that the mqst unhappy of this suffering trio, owed 
 the little learning she had obtained. She was not 
 destitute of natural quickness, and the paucity of 
 her enjoyments made her learn, as a delightful 
 variety, to write a very plain hand, and to go 
 through with accuracy the six first rules of arith- 
 metic. — Having nothing to distract her attention, 
 she became an exact accomptant, and with these 
 two accomplishments, added to a Dutchwoman's 
 nicety in the science of ' plain work,* she really 
 got through life. It was her boast that she could 
 draw a thread unbroken after the scissars had 
 done their office, the wl^ole length of a piece of 
 
2S THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 The young people had all attained their majority^ 
 when, one winter morning, having risen, as was, 
 to the annoyance of his famil}-, his custom, long 
 before daylight, and as he was descending the stairs 
 lighted by his youngest daughter, he called out 
 * stand away' and fell headlong in an apoplectic 
 fit. — The poor young woman fainted when informed 
 that he was dead, and only the next morning could 
 be made aware that she had lost her father, and 
 with him all restraint. A sense of propriety 
 highly praise- worthy, kept the family together 
 durinf^ the first year, at the expiration of which 
 time, the brother and younger sister dividing their 
 time between their mother and the Morkl, took a 
 house in London, and devoted themselves to all its 
 reputable delights, its public spectacles, and its 
 morning dissipations, the tendency of which should 
 not be forgotten ki our censure of modern man- 
 ners * 
 
 Indulged 
 
 * Far be it from us to take up the cause of vice or folly ; 
 but what we may ask would be said to the rapture, not only 
 Mrs. Toms but persons of higher rank and superior claims 
 have exprest, at the recollection of the joys of Ranelagh, when 
 to see at a morning lounge enlivened by music, half a score 
 fctrumpets of fashion, for we will not disguise their rank under 
 the delicate appellations of ' frail sisters' or ' unfortunate young 
 women* was one of the attractions. Or \vhat estimation Would 
 a mother now deserve, who could amuse the infant minds of 
 
 her children with animated descriptions cf how Miss O 
 
 swam round the Rotunda * only once/ and was carried off by 
 a nobleman into keeping; how some other Miss charmed by 
 the assumed appearance of melancholy modesty, or how she 
 
 her- 
 
THE COUXTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 29 
 
 Indulged to excess by this kind brother, Mrs. 
 Toms entered on * the married state' as wayward 
 and as puerile as if she had been all her life the 
 fondling of a doting kindness. Extremely tena- 
 cious of what little she did know, and thoroughly 
 contemptuous of all the much she did not know, 
 she was not a very comfortable wife nor was her 
 loss great as a mother. 
 
 But before we dismiss her to the shades, it may 
 add a little to our knowledge of past manners, if 
 we state the singular chance by which she became 
 ^Irs. Toms, or it may be objected, and we admit, 
 not unjustly, that ^/^7>/thus confined had little 
 chance of marrying, and that a xcoman thus let 
 loose on the workl, iiad still less chance of mar- 
 rying prudently. 
 
 Know then, curious reader, that on a certain day 
 when Miss was still a girl, perhaps in her cradle, 
 her father riding alone on horseback up the hill on 
 the top of which stands to this day his house, was 
 overtaken by or did overtake a courteous stranger. — 
 Observations on the weather, the road, and perhaps 
 
 herself was in danger of the sarac species of overture, from a 
 gentleman whose attention was drawn by her appearance. 
 I'et such, had Mrs. Toms not eaten the toasted cheese, we 
 may infer from what has been, would have been a part of the 
 rearing of Miss Nancy : and of other pleasures she might have! 
 learned by the exhilarating recitals of excursions from 
 London, undertaken not from any curiosity to see places of 
 beauty and celebrity, but prompted by the convenience of a 
 chariot and a set of horses, and the noble emulation of exhi- 
 biting in a riding dress of twice the expence and finery of auy 
 modern one, 
 
 each 
 
30 THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 
 
 each other's horse, produced not precisely the sweet 
 dialogue of Virgirs eclogues, -but such a colloquy 
 as ended in an invitation, which being accepted 
 and returned, was followed by the introduction of 
 
 Mr. Toms into the family. The brother 
 
 continued the friendship begun by the father, 
 and when the fatal epilepsy closed the pageant life 
 of the former, Mr. Toms found himself in possession 
 of more than triple the sum he had expected as 
 his lady's portion. 'Tis easy to triple what has 
 out-tripled itself: and he was from that instant 
 a man of wealth and consequently of conse- 
 quence. 
 
 Of him there is nothing to be said, that may not 
 apply to any man whose father has had the means 
 to give him the means to get money. He had only 
 one brother, and he being the offspring of the 
 mother's second marriage, was so many years 
 younger than himself, that he ranked rather with 
 the next generation than that in w hich the elder 
 -was born. A dissimilarity of pursuit, originating 
 in a very different conformation of intellect, kept 
 them nearly strangers as they went through life. 
 
 Our heroine's father had but three tastes bestow- 
 ed on him by the fairies at his birth, first for money, 
 secondly for politics, and thirdly for music, but it 
 was music of a particular description, and which 
 met its greatest gratification in wind instruments 
 and what he termed ^ a glorious crash.' A dinner 
 was greatly recommended to his acceptance if he 
 was sure that * pray, sir, a little gravy' would be 
 accompanied by the notes of ' Sound sound your 
 
 trumpets' 
 
THE COUNTi:SS AKD GERTRODIT. $1 
 
 trumpets' or he could obtain * another slice of the 
 fattest part' to the cadence of the march in Porus*. 
 We would with pleasure turn aside to tell by 
 what seemingly irrelative chances the great and 
 the superb dissipations of a London spring have 
 arisen * from low beginnings :' but though we claim 
 
 * Music was not, at that time, what music is now. The 
 songs of Ptanelagh, V'auxhall, and jMarybone, then satisfied 
 the unlearned ear, and easy and cheap was its gratification. 
 Private concerts were arranged without disordering a family, 
 and men who now order their chariot at nine for a ten guinea 
 subscription concert, then would have put on a great coat, 
 even without boots or unibrella, and setting out before six, 
 would have trusted to their, legs, to pass what they felt a 
 ' delicious evening* at a little club, where catches, glees, 
 motets, and madrigals, with the canon ' Non nobis* injiaaley 
 were ' done* in plain correctness, Tlie Castle concert at 
 Haberdashers* hall, the Academy of ancient music which 
 gave birth to that now in such distinguished celebrity, and 
 the Madrigal Club at one of the city taverns, were substitutes 
 for the Opera, the Oratorio, and * the Harmonic,' of the 
 present day, to those who considered the east and west as 
 opposite points. At the first, the newest imported ^opra/jo 
 and the most distinguished leader were occasionally to be 
 heard : at die second, were reared into excellence and modest 
 confidence under scientific masters, those who have been the 
 teachers of the most justly celebrated theoretic and practical 
 musicians of our tinie; and tJie last kept alive and handed 
 'down to us, however humble in its origin and sordid in its 
 proceedings, that taste for the works 'of Bird, Tallis, and the 
 other composers of the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, 
 which has so added to the attractions of the exquisite treat 
 which is sometimes offered to us by ou elegant friends, and 
 best described as * a little good music ^,^11 performed, and 
 listened to in silence.' 
 
 a ridit 
 
32 THE COUNTESS AND GJfcflTRUDE. 
 
 a ricrbt to wander, we do not demand a licence to 
 run wild. In reaiarkiniz on manners, however, we 
 »iay, within our own Hmits, be allowed to describe 
 a circumstance connected with our subject, the 
 manner in which a musical entertiihiment was then 
 sometimes brought within the reach of such as did 
 not chuse ' to fetch from far' or * to buy dearly.' 
 To give an idea of this, it is only necessary 
 to describe verbatim an occasional concert of 
 which Mr. Toms and his Nancy were always audi- 
 tors. It was held at the house of a friend of his, 
 a merchant then ranking with the Greshams, the 
 Whittino'tons, and the Bancrofts of London, and 
 affecting a superiority of taste and style which in 
 the end, alas! ivy-Uke, dried up those sources by 
 which itself existed. 
 
 Mr. Toms, it has been premised, loved wind 
 music and * a glorious crash :' he would not have 
 answered as did an amateur of less decided taste 
 to a little lad who had reported an alfresco orches- 
 tra as consisting of two horns and a hautboy— 'Two 
 horns and a hautboy? — why, my dear, 'twas enough 
 to deafen the owls !* — The more noise the more 
 pleasure was his axiom, and in Lothbury where 
 this mercantile house was situated, provided enough 
 noise was made, it was impossible he could be 
 cheated by the escape of any part of it.— Th& 
 mansion being on a plan very much resembling that 
 of a sugar house, and demonstrating the extent of 
 that legal aphorism 'cujus est solum, ejus est usque 
 ad caelum' was better calculated for the purposes 
 
 of 
 
 i 
 
 # 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GRIITRUDE. 53 
 
 of business than the pursuits of pleasure. It af- 
 forded only two rooms in which the guests and 
 perfornaers could be accommodated : the former 
 were deposited on bales of woollen, cotton, and 
 linen goods in the warehouse : the performers, who 
 were for the most part gentlemen, were penned into 
 the compting-house, where an exact calculation 
 of square inches, presented all real, but left still 
 some ideal danger to elbows and from fiddlesticks. 
 There were certainly some advantages in this con- 
 cert room and its hall of audience, which no other 
 ever possessed : every note u as heard in its fullest 
 force, unless overpowered by one still louder : — ^. 
 there was no danger of an echo, and as the Tho- 
 rowgood of the house observed, there was ' room, 
 for every body if they v\ould but sit quiet.' — 
 Think, O reader, if thou hast any power of hear- 
 ing, what must on a ground plot of perhaps twen- 
 ty-four feet square, have been the effect of a dou- 
 ble bass, a violoncello, two tenors, three violins, 
 — and two french horns, blown by the young Tho- 
 rowgoods. — Stretch thy imagination and thy ear- 
 drums a little more ; for to these were added, one 
 evening, to the almost insane joy of Thorowgood, 
 who introduced them with * Here they come, now 
 we shall do — now I am quite easy' — a pair of ket- 
 tle-drums ! — We narrate — \^ e do not create. 
 
 Of the consequence allowed at times to great 
 musical genius, many ludicrous stories are in cir- 
 culation ; and so many, that it is matter of wonder 
 
 VOL. I, P that 
 
34 TH^ cSuirxiss and gertrude. 
 
 tMt i-e should wonder at the consequence assumed 
 rfow by those whose unrivalled excellence admits 
 of their making their own terms. We have only to 
 rfefii&rk' that Britannia superb on the ocean is pros- 
 trate in her pleasures ; but if there be any progeny 
 from th6 lady who exclaimed as has recorded our 
 facetious Hogarth, ' one God, one FarinellijVit 
 i^ to be hoped they have more grace than to give 
 such a licence for the insanity of pride in a fellow 
 ni6rtal. 
 
 And ifter all that is said in our day, of extra- 
 vSgant insolence, is it more intolerable tlian that 
 of Faustina, Cuzzoni, Senesino, or tlie Brescian 
 Fatrinelli above named ? — Has a manager of the 
 opera had to part two female combatants, as was 
 necessary in the disputes for pre-eminence between 
 thosfe two ladies? Has any composer been exaspe- 
 rated as was Handel, at the refractoriness of the 
 ]kh named of these viragos, when he took her 
 roitnd the waist and bound himself by a vow, not 
 indeed exactly such a vow as produced his * Fare- 
 well ye limpid streams,' to throw her out of th^ 
 window if she would not sing ? Do we hear of suth 
 a porcine exhibition of the philosophy of Epicurus 
 as that of Cuzzoni, when having received on the 
 threshold of famine, a guinea, she sent a boy to 
 her wine-merchant with an order for a bottle of 
 Tokay, charging him to bring the very best, and 
 to call in his way at the baker's to beg a roll ? 
 May we finish the story without wearying? for- 
 give, if we disgust— 'tis a strong trait of character 
 
 and 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 35 
 
 and irresistibly autlientic — she in the presence 
 of ttvo gentlemen who had made her a visit, and 
 bestowed' the relief of her poverty, and who 
 wished to see how she would use it, poured the 
 bottle of Tokay, which we believe holds a quart 
 and a jill, into a hand bason, and breaking the roll 
 into it, ate it with a spoon as she would have done 
 soup *. 
 
 * To descend to a less ferocious character and a less ex- 
 traordinary occurrence, what should we feel in seeing a lady 
 afiVonted as a bride of rank was by Handel, when she singing 
 one of his songs imperfectly, he literally took off his black 
 vj\g and threw it in her face ? We do not wish to excite re- 
 sentment against one to whose superiority the whole civilized 
 world seems to bear witness: perhaps he who had such 
 ' music in his soul' must feel beyond the power of endurance : 
 it was the fever of a moment, and he instantly, and before he 
 replaced his wig, was on his knees intreating her husband's 
 "forgiveness. 
 
 When we have intreated that it may not always be pre- 
 sumed that great talents and great brutality are the sun and 
 the shadow, and that when a modern Cecilia declines an in- 
 vitation unless her husband be included, she may be supposed 
 rather correct than insolent: when we have informed our 
 readers, that one of the tenderest of female hearts may be 
 found in the neighbourhood of the finest vocal powers, and 
 that the poor of a country village have called forth the volun- 
 tary, the uncombined exertion of a voice, such 
 
 * As did with sweetness thro' mine ear 
 
 Dissolve me into ecstacies 
 
 And bring all Heav'n before my eyes/ — 
 
 We have only to add, that while a performer thus gifted has 
 been supposed sporting in exotic effrontery, the real feeling 
 has been that of an insupportable terror of a British audi- 
 ence. 
 
 In thus representing to candid attention matters of justice 
 ahd fact, we do not lose sight of our design, and we refer 
 
 p 2 for 
 
36 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 for the contrast of manners to a collection of gazettes kept 
 at the office of the Secretary of State for the Home Depart- 
 ment, in which female singers, it must be supposed, of some 
 pretensions, are advertised as * the Italian lady that is lately 
 come over, that is so fanious for her singing' — * the Italian 
 woman'—' a gentlewoman that hath one of the best voices in 
 England,' and * a young geiitlewoman, of twelve years of 
 afge,' and this apparently in concerts where the admission 
 was, even then, half a guinea. 
 
 CHAPTER^ 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 37 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Train vp a child in the w he should not go. Love of money 
 inculcated. Doing like other people. Modes of living. 
 Modern cecojiomij illudrated. Misers. A dinner party. 
 
 Miss Toms, the great heiress in expectancy, was 
 now settled at home as mistress of her father and 
 his house ; and tlie very little share he had taken in 
 her education proved as satisfactorily, how easy 
 it is to * train up a child in the way it should' not 
 * go,' as her subsequent adherence to the instruc- 
 tions of her youth proved, that 'when it is old it 
 will not depart Irom it.' It is greatly to be wish- 
 ed, that parents and teachers would learn to sow 
 before they call for the sickle, that they would get 
 something into the mind before they expect to get 
 any thing out ; and having attained this wisdom, 
 they shall then have our free leave to resort to the 
 old and incomparable, but unfashionable, manual 
 operations of boxing ears, whipping petticoats, 
 and even the more cruel discipline of withholding 
 a breakfast, or shutting up in silent solitude — they 
 shall do, and we will encourage them on our own 
 experience and training, every thing that does not 
 harden into a victory over shame, if they Avill only 
 follow the example of Mr. Toms, aftd do what is 
 in the power of admonitionp to be beforehand with 
 
 the 
 
SS THE COUNTESS AND JGERTRUDE. 
 
 the occurrence of faults, and the necessity of pu- 
 nishment. If Agathos will but get it well into the 
 ears of his boy, and impress it, by example drawn 
 from reality, that a love of pleasure deprives a 
 man of all freedom of action, he shall have our 
 utmost sympathy when Eugenius is lound at the 
 gaming-table ; and if Matilda will but tell Iris 
 what has been the general fate of silly beauty, and 
 inform her of the superior wear of virtue, we will 
 help to reclaim her lovely daughter, if ever she 
 listens to the overtures of Sir Harry, whose heart 
 has so often shewn itself, in Cupid's hand, a dia- 
 mond. 
 
 The department in which Mr. Toms found his 
 talents most at home, was that of worldly pru- 
 dence ; and with a due exercise of the art itself, 
 he had recommended the practice of it, when his 
 heiress had scarcely bid adieu to lier cradle. — la 
 Jier occasional visits from Bethnal-green, being now 
 and then somewhat at a loss to entertain her 
 through a day of many hours, he had ordered her 
 nurse, from whom, to her praise, she would not 
 jbe separated, to bring her into the banking-shop, 
 that she might see, not the grisly papc^' of our 
 public credit ; but ' the pretty shiiiing golden gui- 
 neas' which were counting in heaps and with sho^ 
 vels, and the ingots which were weighing to an in- 
 computable amount. She would in a very short 
 time — ' Lord love her dear little tractabiiity 1' 
 ,cried her father — come spontaneously to contem- 
 plate this glorious sight, and would hold out hea* 
 frock at the words, * All these guineas are to buy 
 
 Nance 
 
THE COUNT£SS AND GERTRUDj:. ^Q 
 
 J^ance a new fine gowp,' and stretcji put both 
 hands, and open her eyes beyond then- natural ex- 
 tent of opening, to kiss the guineas and stroke the 
 ingots. It is happy when parents can find ser- 
 vants and teachers ' to pursue their plans.' Mr. 
 Toms was thus fortunate. Nancy's nurse entered 
 into all her employer's i4.eas — she made the sight 
 of the * pretty guineas,' and the kissing the deaf 
 gopid bars the object in her visit to Papa, and ^t 
 » proper season got over Miss's preconceived ^ver- 
 {sion to that excellent vegetable, a carrot, by as- 
 suring her it would ' if she ^^ould but taste it/ 
 make Mier pretty cheeks red.' This, witli a pro- 
 mise of the blue sky for a petticoat, which we 
 must call the fir«t step in celestial observations, 
 and a constant system of bribery tp dp right, aiid 
 of giving way whenever Miss chose firmly to do 
 wrong, were a part of tliat trai/iwg in which it is 
 to be feared he who recommended it was want- 
 ing. 
 
 Till the age of twenty-one, little alteration oc- 
 curred in Miss Toms's n)od.e of life : Mr. Toms 
 and hi3 daghter were to be ^een in all those places, 
 where they were to be expected, at the Lord 
 Mayor's and Easter festivities, in swan-tiopping 
 parties, water excursions in the companies' barges, 
 a day's pleasure at Blackwall, or a dinner at Rich- 
 mond, which with a retreat in the dog-days to a 
 villa he had erected for himself, with a Chinese 
 railing round it, close to the road ajt Sti^atford- 
 ^reen, as he said, ' got rid of the summer very 
 tolerably.' Margate and Ramsgate were then 
 7 dreary 
 
4D TH>: COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 dreary fishing towns ; and it was not as yet found 
 necessary for every one, as if in danger of the liy- 
 drophobia, to run to the sea once a year. 
 
 What is it that can have produced, within the 
 memory of all of us, the wonderous rage that pre- 
 vails, not for going to any particular place, or 
 from any particular place, but for quitting our 
 homes ? Were this passion confined to those who, 
 by circumstances, arc obliged to make the metro- 
 polis their residence, the attractions of the coun- 
 try, and the salubrious effects of a purer air, 
 M'ould answer the question : but even many of 
 these prove, that merely health and pleasure are 
 not their monitors : if they were, it would hardly 
 be worth the trouble to live, during the usual 
 period of absence, in the back rooms of our 
 houses, that it may not be known we are in Lon- 
 don. Not to want health —not to have a taste for 
 the pleasures even of the country, can be no dis- 
 grace, but not to be able to do * like other people' 
 —ay, there's the rub. 
 
 The factitious impulges of our actions are some- 
 times the strongest : those which naturally result 
 from circumstances, may be controlled if they do 
 not meet the concurrence of our wills ; but artifi- 
 cial want resides in the will, and must be gratified, 
 and of all artificial wants, none seems more arbi- 
 trary in its commands, than that which cries, duly 
 as Fashion sets her horses' heads towards Hyde- 
 Park corner * migrate coloni.' Of these ' coloni,' 
 nine- tenths are impelled by one of these causes, 
 the restlessness of feverish luxury, the necessity of 
 
 doing 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 41 
 
 doing as their superiors do, or the desire of ap- 
 pearing what tlicy are not. The other decimal 
 part, seeking health and rational enjoyment, are 
 content with the cottage of some one who, bitten 
 by the same gad-fly, runs for shade to the sands, 
 and for retirement to tlie thronged promenades of 
 the coast. The class of the restless may be known 
 by their inability to decide ' whither they shall 
 go'— Provided they get away~0 could they but 
 get away from themselves ! — they care not where 
 .they alight, and rather than not move, they would 
 move for the proper months of restlessness, from 
 Windsor Forest to Hull or Liverpool. 
 
 The passion for imitatic^n perhaps leads the 
 greatest number in its train, and we must suppose, 
 though we confess ourselves utterly at a loss to 
 comprehend how, that it has an adequate compen- 
 sation attached to it, for the trouble, the iatigue, 
 and not unfrequently the ruin that attend and fol- 
 low it. 
 
 Those who go ' to play a part' at a distance 
 from home, are the most amusing set ; and the 
 contrttems they are fated to experience, are some- 
 times to an observer of manners, most whimsically 
 ludicrous. If you have the misiortune to live near 
 such a family, in one of the new-built streets in 
 London, you may know vi^hen they are going ' to 
 be grand,' by the preceding bustle, and with as 
 much accuracy as you can divine their ' having 
 friends to dinner' by the white-aproned satellites 
 of the contectioner, and the preternatural peripa- 
 tetics of pots and kettles. They quit home, and 
 
 you 
 
42 THE COUNTESS ANP GERTRUPi:. 
 
 you next liear of th(?m ^s moving in a sphere veFy 
 little like that which they occupy in your sight : 
 you can scarce believe that the, perhaps newly ^ 
 dubbed honourable, ]\Ir. Towdererow-Amyand 1 
 — Robarts, is your honest neighbor Hemming 
 Roberts — or that ' his interesting and elegant lady' 
 who has figured in the Morning l^ost, is the same 
 notable ^vife who, properly considering that her 
 husband is a young merchant, and that she adds 
 yearly to his expences, sets out duly every morn- 
 ing to pay bills and buy in provisions for her J 
 family. They come home * in style,' and ' in style' * 
 perhaps they indulge for the next fortnight, till the 
 contract at the Rhedarium is out — and then Mr. 
 and Mrs. Roberts are again ' very quiet good sort 
 of people,' and ape nobody. 
 
 Why we are not as well content as were our 
 forefathers zxid foremothers to live, as the opulent 
 amongst them generally did, m their own places, 
 was a question even in the time of the sagacious 
 Osborn * ; but we speak of a later period. Per- 
 sons 
 
 • A lady of high birth and still more distinguished by 
 tliojse talents which best txcuse uncommon goodness, has 
 remarked to us, that the respect we feel for age extends itself 
 to our literary tastes, and that we do not willingly venture 
 to dispute opinions contained in books a century old. This 
 sentiment makes us hope Francis Osborn may be h43ard with 
 some respect, if ^ye quote from his * Advice to a Son,' a pas- 
 sage in the sentiments of which, though not always thinking 
 with the Author, we cannot but concur. 
 
 ' 1 find the oeconomicks, though most useful -to being, the 
 least ebteemetJ wjlh our gaiUnts, looked upon by some gis 
 
 trivial. 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 43 
 
 sons of rank must be supposed to have had always 
 their choice of dwellings, but of these all did not 
 always come to London. Of those who made a 
 yearly residence in the metropolis, the greater part 
 resorted thither at the meeting of the Courts of 
 Law, or of Parliament, and these set the fashion 
 to the rest, and thus from the beginning of 
 November till perhaps the first or second week in 
 
 trivial, by others as dishonourable, and unbecoming a mas- 
 culine employment; yet a total neglect of them may be found, 
 inexperience, the ruin of the greatest families in England, as 
 their more exact prosecution keeps up men's estates in Italy, 
 where the inhabitants are celebrated as most generally wise, 
 and therefore not unfitly proposed in this for an universal 
 pattern, but where they border too near the confines of 
 penury and baseness, most unbecoming the custom and plenty 
 of England ; and where, in this particular (till the sword 
 received a commis,sion from God to devour all things good 
 ^md honourable in the land) our Noblemen equalled the 
 Princes, and our King exceeded in hospitality all the IMo- 
 narchs in the known world : and might yet have done more, 
 had the true elements of thrift been maintained in an equal 
 proportion, by providing all things at the best hand, and 
 making use of times and seasons ; in which I confess so much 
 «s purely belongs to housewifery, ought, if not in discretion, 
 yet in reverence to custom, to be left to women, provided 
 they own abilities competent for the employment : which is 
 yet sometimes so far contradicted by experience, as the first 
 leak of a husband's fortune is found to rise in the kitchen, 
 and such rooms as a man of quality cannot decently visit. 
 Nor is there a better way patent to obviate this falling into a 
 hcctick, through such a dysentery, than by an equal balanc- 
 ing all weekly accounts ; never noted by wisdom any more 
 blemish to honour than to know how many horses he keeps 
 io the stable/ 
 
44 THE COU^'TESS AND GERTRUDE. ^ 
 
 May, every one, except those who, having seats 
 and villas, spent Christmas and Easter at them *, 
 was to be found at their town house. From 
 this time till November again, families consi- 
 dered themselves as settled in the country, unless 
 distant relatives or reasonable curiosity drew them 
 from home But now how very different is the 
 plan of domestic life ! Let us not be told the times, 
 the times, will not afford what we recollect 
 as customary ; or asked who is there who can 
 afford to spend six months in London ? If the 
 love of rambling indeed were indulged cheaper 
 than the love of quiet, we would grant the plea of 
 the times ; but that it is not so we can all witness. 
 The truth is, we cannot be content, and we cannot 
 afford to be discontented ; and hence the paltry 
 arts by which we make others pay for our gratifi- 
 cations. When- it was the fashion to be settledy 
 the Spring extravagance had not encroached on 
 the supplies for the other nine months : the 
 mistress of a house could manage it without the 
 resource of board-wages, or the assistance of 
 *■ figure-men ; the cook of the family could dress 
 a handsome dinner for its friends : the expence of 
 a carriage and horses was ascertained : the house, 
 and even its furniture, could be endured year after 
 year without those improvements that now and 
 then make us apprehend that a fire or a mob has 
 
 * The Northumberland household book marks these re- 
 moves in very early times as regulated by the supposed duties 
 of the seasons at which they were made. Religious retire- 
 jnent seems to have been a part of the family oeconomy. 
 
 laid 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 45 
 
 laid waste the dwellings of our acquaintance. We 
 lived, 
 
 * By our own use and not by others* eyes/ 
 
 This was the secret. 
 
 In our comparative view of the depreciated 
 value of money, the increased price of provisions, 
 and the weight of public burdens, we omit all re- 
 collection of our own share in these grievances, 
 and the reduplication of them by our own follies. 
 We do not deny, we cannot but feel and very 
 disagreeably too, that an income which once left a, 
 considerable surplus, when every decent luxury 
 was enjoyed, will now scarce admit of the most 
 moderate enjoyments ; but let us be consistent in 
 our complaint. Our friend Shuffle must notplead 
 the times, or even his twelve children, in defence 
 of his guinea, when he bestows a younger child's 
 portion on fitting up a room, nor can we listen to 
 Mrs. Sift's solicitudes in saving washing, when she 
 informs our ignorance, that her veil cost eighty 
 guineas. 
 
 In 1770 an income of twelve hundred pounds a 
 year maintained, without grudging or low care, a 
 family consisting of the father, mother, and three 
 children at school, with eight servants, a carriage, 
 three horses, a good house in London, and a country 
 residence ten miles from it, consisting of a large 
 mansion, garden, paddock, and an adjoining field. 
 The carriage cost hi bullduig, for the purchase of 
 any thing not new would have been thought dis- 
 graceful. 
 
46 THE COUNTERS AXD (JERtltUDE. 
 
 gi'aceful, about a hundred guineas, and the san^e 
 sum yearly kept that and the horses for it. The 
 lady of the house spent about fifty pounds a year 
 in dress, and every thing about them, their servants 
 and their dvveUing, was in the highest order. What 
 the land produced, they consumed; and the almost 
 scandalous traffic, the Genoese, the exotic parsi- 
 mony of the present time, the sending to market 
 the profitable and the arranged overplus of a resi- 
 dence of pleasure, would have sunk such oecono- 
 mists to contempt. — Prince Doria's little window 
 in his palace in Rome, at which with the costume 
 of a London gin shop, his small wines are ex- 
 changed for small coin, argues something like 
 decent pride, but we * proud English,' as our mili- 
 tary antagonist stvles us, can, for the sake of 
 paying for lodgings in a fashionable watering place, 
 or to avoid the miserable alternative of being con- 
 tent at home, consent to let strangers once a year 
 into our neat appropriate apartments and our very 
 beds : we farm our gardens; we dispose of the dairy 
 produce to the best bidder; we cover our lawns 
 with the candidates for Smithfield, to atone for 
 having launched out into expences to which our 
 receipts are inadequate *. Far be it from us to 
 stigmatise necessary prudence — if we must thus 
 
 * ' What a famous dessert you give us, my dear friend!' 
 said a guest to his host — ' It 'fTtusl be good, Sit- Turnpenny — 
 for il is bought out of your garden.' — We could tell \torse 
 stories : — in this instance the vender fairly pocketed the 
 price. 
 
 (Economise, 
 
THi: COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 4/ 
 
 dbconomise, notwithstanding all our fair prudence, 
 it must be submitted to, but as a necessity im- 
 posed not as a new means of enjoyment. — It may 
 well become honest Pidgeon and his good little 
 wife to do what may leave them the means to 
 bring up their half score children on an income 
 they cannot increase — they have already made 
 every renunciation in their power — they spend not 
 an idle guinea — they must ' turn every thing to 
 account,' but does it therefore consist with the dig- 
 nity or the revenue of Countess Seizequartiers to let 
 her town house for half the season, of Lord Multi- 
 fold to bargain with Old Tan the gardener for the 
 product of his groptries, pineiueSj peacheries, cher- 
 ryes, * et omne, quod exit in rj/,' whenever he 
 quits Castle Pictbourne for a few weeks, or of Sir 
 Dashwood Colander to call for a bottle of kis ^vei^ij 
 best Port, while lie makes a bargain for fat sheep 
 with his butcher ? Can any one of these persons 
 have heard the dictum of Lord Bacon, ' It is less 
 dishonorable to abridge petty charges, than to stoop 
 to petty gettings ?' 
 
 The subject of paltry o&conoitiy is inexhaustible. 
 The traffic of opera boxes, of concert and benefit 
 tickets % the mean, the almost dishonest money 
 transactions w^ith tradesmen, each deserve ii chap- 
 
 * It can be no novel information to those accustomed to 
 the elegant societ}' of London, that one of the means of afford- 
 ing cheap patronage to public performers, is to take a dozen 
 tickets for their nighty and to compel eleven dear friends, who 
 dare not refuse, to take the superabundance off our hands. 
 
 tQF 
 
48 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDt. 
 
 ter of our work. Selling our old clothes would be 
 a virtuous meanness compared with many of these 
 negociations. 
 
 How was our high-spirited friend Harry Classic 
 astonished, when he was looking for a Plato in a 
 bookseller's shop in Bond Street, and heard a 
 messa<Te delivered by a servant in a livery, whose 
 colours, if described, would instantly detect the 
 family he served, requesting for his lady the loan 
 of one hundred pounds — fifty were sent with an 
 apology for inabihty to do more. ^ Ah, Sir,' said 
 honest Title-page to Harry, seeing him perhaps 
 Stare, — ' you are surprized, but this is nothing to 
 what I could shew you. Vou^ living in your 
 native credit and a quiet respectable home, where 
 I vow to God when I wait on you, it makes my 
 heart overflow to see the good order and harmony 
 that unite your family — you can have no idea of 
 the shifts and intrigues by which the show that 
 makes this street famous, is connected with the 
 situations of the great. — This borrowing that you 
 have witnessed is nothing. Can you credit me 
 when I tell you that I have seen in other book- 
 sellers' shops, sent there amongst a parcel sold by 
 a man of fashion, books that have been bought of 
 me, and for which I have not to this hour received 
 the money ? And do you know that it is a common 
 practice with school boys to order, in their father's 
 names expensive sets of books with cuts, which 
 cuts they take out and sell to their schoolfellows ? 
 I myself have been thus imposed on and refused 
 
 redress. 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTHUDE. 4^ 
 
 I'edress, because I ought to have supposed that a 
 minor could not want an expensive book *. 
 
 But where, we shall be asked, is the remedy 
 to be found ? Surely in that accommodation of 
 ourselves to the situation of our country, in that 
 frugality, and ia those renunciations, if necessary, 
 which would, more than any thing, tend to con- 
 vince him who is longing to devour us, that he 
 must still hunger. If we cannot afford the year's 
 rent of our house, we cannot afford that of an 
 opera-box, — if we must sell butter before we can 
 buy cheese, we ought not to give ^ grand dinners :' 
 — if our poverty and 'the times' oblige us to be 
 niggardly towards others, there can be no excuse 
 for indulgence towards ourselves — and if we must 
 let our apartments whenever we sleep out of them, 
 the less frequently we quit home the better. 
 
 We scruple not to affirm, that what are mis- 
 called the pleasures of the world, are obtained and 
 enjoyed on a plan of Jinessingy very unbecoming 
 the English character. How to buy and possess 
 under the market price — how to avoid taxes, with- 
 out renouncing the thing taxed — how to cast our 
 burdens on others — are considerations that occupy 
 the mind to its material injury, and to the destruc- 
 tion of tliose nice perceptions which we ought to 
 regard as the outworks ot conscience. Every 
 tiling sits loose to us — what we can get by making 
 
 * We could reveal something worse even than this,, if we 
 were not delicate in the use of our powers. Parents have been 
 known to furnish boys at school, with temptations to thet 
 purses of others, and t^ value themselves on Ihe profit made. 
 
 VOL. I. E over 
 
50 THE COUNTESS ANl> GERTHUDt. 
 
 over to others, is the first consideration ; and marry 
 a mistress of a family, when she fancies herself 
 what is called ' settled,' finds herself in the situa- 
 tion of ' a fag' at our public schools — the fag goes 
 into a succession of beds to prepare them for his 
 masters ; the wife occupies her hc^se only till its 
 decorations tempt a purchaser or a tenant; — to 
 take many houses, fit them up, and dispose of 
 them at an advantage, being now one of the se- 
 rious occupations of an English gentleman. 
 
 We ourselves were educated ^^itll a strong sense 
 of justice and decorum ; and the prejudices of 
 early youth are excusable. It was an axiom with 
 our tutor, ' No one has a right to the labor of ano- 
 ther without recompense.' — O ! could he have 
 lived to see the paltry disregards of this truth that 
 we have witnessed [ We object, and so did he, to 
 all bribes ; but services rendered to us make us 
 debtors ; and a smile and ' thank you' will not pay 
 a messenger for going a mite, nor can any discon- 
 tinuance of that perverted custom called * vails^ 
 make a delicate mind feel easy in a six months' 
 visit to a friendy and a condescending nod to the 
 domcstics^^be it ever so condescending. We 
 shall, in the course of our work, have occasion to 
 &peak on faslo^i^n^able frugalities of many kinds — 
 here let us dismiss this, by hinting, that while hu- 
 mzn nati^Fe rermai^s \^at it ever ims been since the 
 fall, and will be probably while the world exists, 
 evefj^ pOW6f of iriftu'encfeg our fellow-creatures ta 
 goodness by the practice of religion or morality, all 
 ©ur pains i» tead^i*^, ii't advising, nay all our be- 
 nevolence, 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE 51 
 
 nevolence, is good for nothing, if we are not just 
 and consistent The harnaony of a good mind 
 ought not to be disturbed by discordant inconsist- 
 encies. The better we are, the better we ought 
 to be. 
 
 We have, times past recounting, found ourselves 
 stopped in recommending to those under us, the 
 example of those whom we think exemplary. When 
 we name the fear of God, in w hich our friends 
 Wellborn and his wife live and educate their chil- 
 dren, we hear of his swearing at his groom, and 
 her neglect of an unfortunate sister : if we praise 
 the elegance of her dress, we are referred to her 
 .ragged regiment in the nursery^-if we commend 
 his regard for an old servant, we are convinced 
 that the kindness is hardly purchased by drudge- 
 ries imposed ; and, for fear we should have this 
 information from imperfect sources, she tells us 
 herself how she manages to get that which appears 
 costly at a frugal price. Such people sink us into 
 fools, when Hhe arts of life' are the subjects of 
 discussion — but we cannot learn of them. 
 
 Yet with all this attention to ' the pressure of the 
 times,' we cannot find the effect we should look 
 for. Shopkeepers tell us, and all the indications 
 of trade confirm their report, that so much money 
 was never spent as now ; and we have good reason 
 to believe, that the present scheme is, to have mo- 
 ney for whatever we covet, and to plead 'the 
 times' for foregoing necessaries of life and decency 
 which give us no pleasure. The houshold linen 
 will bear another patching, we must have a tvventy- 
 
 iL 2 guinea 
 
52 THE COUNTES'S AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 guinea walking-dress, or a mantle of four times the 
 price ; and poor Tom must shift with his outgrown 
 coat, because Papa has just given Mama a row of 
 pearls. 
 
 Have we any misers now ? Arc all the race of 
 
 E , and J , and R , extinct? We 
 
 cannot congratulate ourselves on the world's deli- 
 verance from them, while examples so much more 
 easy to be copied exist — it requires energy of mind 
 to be a miser — nothing but ordinary selfishness to 
 
 do base things. No one will imitate R 's ne- 
 
 <Tociation for the loan rather than the purchase of a 
 pennyworth of brimstone to avert the cramp, — nor 
 will many be at the trouble of changing servants' 
 cheese for worse at the same price, or run the risk 
 of pocketing the cheese-taster. It is not every 
 woman of quality, who, like his well-trained daugh- 
 ter, will immerse her arm up to the elbow in the 
 hog's tab ! ! — but all can be shabby *. 
 
 Allow us to give from our Liber Veritatis, from 
 which we have not turned our eye, a sketch of a 
 real dinner party. The company were, the master 
 and mistress of the house, — persons possessing 
 four changes of residence, and keeping two car- 
 riages, — some young people of the family, the bro- 
 ther of an earl with his wife, an oriental Croesus 
 
 ♦ Be warned, ye fair candidates for matrimony ! jMissSkin* 
 flint lost her lover on the eve of her wedding, by saying, * No, 
 tliank you mama, no more chicken, Mr. — — - has not picked 
 
 his bones clean — -I will pick them for him.' — Mr. *- cruel 
 
 Mr ! sent a note to the lady's bedside the next morn- 
 ing, in very good time to save her rising, 
 
 ^nd 
 
THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 53 
 
 and his beautiful lady, one or two ripieno charac- 
 ters, and the observing party.— The first questioa 
 came from ' the honorable,' while he was assisting 
 the lady of the house in carving a fine cod. — 
 
 * Where do you get your fish r' The lady addressed 
 herself to her husband, ' Ruby, where did it come 
 from r' — ' 1 went this morning to Billingsgate my- 
 self for it:' — then followed the revelation of his 
 method of haranguing the chapman with whom he 
 dealt : — * Come, my good fellow, now 1 know you 
 love a bit of good fish yourself; and you know 
 what's good, — now let me have some of your prime 
 
 goods — I want, says I, a capital fish.' 'Where 
 
 do you deal for your glasses ? Ruby,' said the 
 Nabob, — 'what do they stand you in?' — ' Why 
 there, said Ruby, I must let you into a little bit of 
 a secret, — I get them snug, — I don't believe they 
 
 * stood me in above four-pence halfpenny a-piece.' 
 — ' Gad,. I wish I could get some like 'em! — do 
 you know mine cost me eighteen-pence ? and then 
 I was favoured, I thought; but these are as neat 
 glasses as any man would wish to drink out of — do 
 send your man to me.' 
 
 Every dish and every thing produced the sanie 
 sort of dialogue, till at length came, in the dessert, 
 some ' very pretty oranges,' not large, but looking 
 more than usually ripe and juicy — again Ruby was 
 obliged to refer and compute — the very pretty 
 oranges were purchased in 'Change Alley, and 
 ' stood him in,' one with another, five farthings 
 each : — the jew-boy was described as accurately as 
 possible, and Nabob was sure he should find him. 
 
04 THE COUNTESS AND CrERTRUDE. 
 
 — '* And iiow,' said Ruby, ' if you love a bargain, 
 I will tell you how 1 manage lor my venison. I 
 make that fellow there, that deals so largely just 
 by our coffee-house, send me off an express when- 
 ever he has a fine haunch that must be drest that 
 day. — I send him my guinea, and, upon my soul, 
 I can't taste any M'here such venison as I get.' 
 
 The Nabob's lady was a native of the East, and 
 but newly initiated in the Irugalities of London — 
 perhaps we might — O I who can always command 
 their features r — we might look as if hearing novel- 
 ties, —indeed they were so to us. — She therefore 
 began some counteracting observations ; and ad- 
 dressing herself to our hostess, she informed her 
 of some alterations making in their * third drawing 
 room in Portland place,' and the sad necessity it 
 invoked of removing * the glass pilasters.' She 
 then pj-oeeeded, ^ Only think, Mrs. Ruby, how 
 
 strange it is that Mr. , though he has four 
 
 horses always standing in the stable, chooses to go 
 into the city in a hackney coach !' — Poor Nabob, 
 who had been till this moment practising in the 
 key of parsimony sharp, felt it discord to his ear 
 to be snatched into that of vanity flat ; and in his 
 not lost Scotish accent, with the help of his snuff- 
 box, and with an accompaniment of malice in his 
 countenance, not to be sketched, he replied in a 
 lower tone, but very audibly, ' Ye may talk now ; 
 but it want be long, yell ha' yere fovver hoars^s 
 to brag o'.' ^ 
 
 Pity subdued our very feeling,-r-mcrcy, mercy ! 
 was on our tongue : — the offending vain one, to 
 >\'bom the old rhodomontade would have applied. 
 
 *' The 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 55 
 
 * The lovely whiteness of thy beauteous neck, 
 Sullies the plate, and makes the napkin black/ 
 
 seemed in an instant steeped in the deepest infu- 
 sion of the pceony< — she had no resource but si^ 
 slence, her fan and her ^cinaigrette, Guinea whist 
 finished the evening*. 
 
 • An instance of ingenuous parsimony comes to our know- 
 ledge, while this page is printing. — A lady, with an income 
 of ten or twelve thousand pounds a year, was bewailing to 
 her apothecary the grievous reduction it would experience 
 by the property-tax : he comforted her by alluding to her 
 abundant means of supporting it. — * True,' she replied, ' I 
 do not say I cannot afford it — but verily it amgunts.to more 
 than my whole year's disbursements. 
 
 ClIAPTEIV 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. . 
 
 Tin: true use of the B.hle, A husbandJnmt'mg, The heiress 
 emancipated. Portraits from the life. Thirty a vidancholy 
 vge to some. Happiness itr.perfect, even "with riches. The 
 offered cfvonet. Good reasons for doing wiong. A "wooing. 
 A weddug. Hoxo to ruin a proteiiec. Milton s Eve in, 
 fashion. Lady in Conms the honest charactir. A poor dtvil. 
 Prospect of an heir. 
 
 A FFw years proving to Mr. Toms's satisfaction 
 that his daughter was, as he said, ' a young woman 
 to be trusted,' she had in every department, but 
 the banking-shop, tiie entire management ot him 
 and his purse. Imputing the undisturbed tran- 
 quility in which the other sex were content she 
 should remain to ' the oddities' of lier father, she 
 looked forward with an impatience very justifi- 
 able, in the opinion of her upper servant, to that 
 period which should give her the plenary enjoy- 
 ment of that which she now shared. Those who 
 stop to consider what must occur before they take 
 possession of ' the portion of goods that falleth 
 unto them,' may feel some check to this impa- 
 tience ; but Miss Toms had never yet been desired 
 to consider. 
 
 By the privation of other tastes, she was nega- 
 tively compelled to do what she disliked, till it 
 became a habit, and she a proficient in it. Her 
 
 needle, 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. *57 
 
 needle, exercised in puttinsf together, or keepinty 
 together, her father's linen, in transferring trim- 
 mings, adding ornaments to ornaments, or fetch- 
 ing up fashions in her dress, filled up her hours 
 at home; and though Mr. Toms would sometimes 
 wonder that his * Nance,' somehow or other, 
 never looked * like other people,' yet recollectin<y 
 that * he must say for her, she was by no means 
 extravagant,' he was fearful of interfering. He 
 therefore endured with complacency, her freighted 
 work-basket — ' a thing of shreds and tatters' — 
 standing duly in the dining-room window on a larfire 
 book, of very little use in the house but to smooth 
 a cambric handkerchief once worn, or to absorb 
 the humidity of a bit of lace washed for the even- 
 ing. In the blank leaf of this great book, indeed, 
 had been registered, on the joyful day of its occu- 
 rence, and with abundant space beneath — left 
 alas ! for brothers and sisters — the birth of the not 
 then named but already designated Nancy Toms 
 —and — * so far' — the book was of value. — If, as 
 a female genius of our own day has laid down, 
 the good order of a house consists in ' keeping 
 every thing in its proper place, employing every 
 thing in its proper use, and doing every thing at 
 its proper time,' IViiss Toms was in a fair way to 
 become a notable housekeeper — for what is the 
 proper place for a large book but a window? and 
 wiiat can (>e its use to a lady, but that to which 
 she put it ? Of proper times too, she was not un- 
 observant : she never in her life was too late for 
 any thing she liked to do ; and rich as she was, 
 
 to 
 
58 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 to do what she did not like to do, was * out of 
 the question.' 
 
 A few hints from his neighbors and friends — a 
 question or two on the subject — a toast addressed 
 to Miss Toms at his table, of—— pardon the inde^ 
 cency, we beseech thee, reader — ^ A good husband 
 and soon'— made Mr. Toms begin to think he must 
 look out for those who seemed not to look out for 
 his daughter. He had considered as the natural 
 impatience of girls to be what they call * their own 
 mistress,' some little poutings he had witnessed 
 when neighbors sent bride-cake : he had, with a 
 smile, watched the placing carefully on the cham- 
 ber-candlestick, when she retired for the night, 
 the mystic fragment which was to influence her 
 dreams ; but now the warnings of his friends, as 
 they were not always secret, might, he feared, 
 warn the nymph to seek for herself, and risk her 
 finding what would be worse than any thing he 
 could find, or even than her going unmarried to 
 what he called ' Elysium fields.' 
 
 On a sudden, therefore, he resolved on an altera- 
 tion in his mode of living : he took his head clerk 
 into a partnership, and relaxing from the care of 
 - the books,' he made the disposal of his daughter 
 a subject of equal speculation with the funds. For 
 some months of every year, he now travelled with 
 her. Perceiving, as he said, that nothing was ^ to 
 be done' in London, where, as he supposed, * the 
 market was glutted,' he would try the country ; 
 and, beginning at South End, with the same steady 
 regularity as had ms^rked his progress in business, 
 
 he 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 59 
 
 he proceeded by exactly- allotted portions aloncr 
 
 the eastern and southern coasts, visited Bath, 
 
 Bristol, Liverpool, and the principal towns in 
 
 Wales, stopping longest where he found the 
 
 greatest resort of nionied men, or any gaiety that 
 
 brought young people together. Wherever he 
 
 saw^ * the Assembly-room' written on the front of 
 
 , a country-inn, he stopt to mai^e enquiry ; and if 
 
 ' he could see his Nancy engaged in a dance, he 
 
 . pared not for his own personal suffering under a 
 
 1 cieling that returned the evaporation of the even- 
 
 i ing ; he watched all her movements ; he clapt, he 
 
 encored, and told all those around him that that 
 
 i fine girl was his only daughter, and that she might 
 
 I have forty, fifty, sixty, or a hundred thousand 
 
 j pounds of his money any day of the week, 
 
 i according as the advance of years added to his 
 
 compound capital and compound interest. 
 
 No part of England, but the extreme northern 
 counties, was ' unhunted' in this search; and to 
 these r\liss Toms exprest a decided aversion. She 
 feared a location beyond the Tweed ; and to avert 
 the danger, requested her father in their many 
 conferences on the subject, not to go near the 
 Scotch people, as they were all * much too sharp 
 for her?' * But, girl, they are prudent fellows — 
 they'll take care of your money' — ' Yes Pa,' but 
 when I have it, /shall choose to spend W There 
 was, to I\Ir. Toms's apprehension, too much wit in 
 the reply, to allow him any plea for contradiction: 
 it served two purposes: it saved an extended jour- 
 ney; and when reported, it went some way towards 
 ^ hintinn 
 
60 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 hinting to * the Southerns,' that Miss Toms pre- 
 ferred a husband amongst them. — Oh ! the first 
 summer that was spent in despair ! when the sen- 
 tence, ' why I think, Nance, we have been every 
 where, and had no luck,' settled them into a villeg' 
 giatura at Stratford green. The old gentleman 
 did not long survive it. Some attacks on his con- 
 stitution made him think he must, notwithstanding 
 this sad state of uncertainty, settle his affairs ; and 
 half convinced it was as well his daughter should 
 remain what he had taken such fruitless pains to 
 prevent her remaining, he made a brief will in 
 favor of * Nancy Toms, spinster,' with no other 
 deduction or appropriation than that which did 
 him honor, a very liberal bequest to his half-bro- 
 ther. On his death-bed he saw this brother, and 
 having requested him to assist Nancy in the regu- 
 lation of her affairs, he died Avithout regret, 
 without sohcitude, and perhaps without hopes or 
 fears. 
 
 Now all this history of foolish Mr. Toms and his 
 daughter is ' most insufferable' — ' horrible to a de- 
 gree' — ' common place'—' taken from low lite' — 
 * out of nature.' — It may be insufferable, horrible, 
 and common place — but it is not low life, nor out 
 of nature — nor quite out of fashion. — Change the 
 ground, and you see the same farce daily, and still 
 more folly. — What but the same folly and as much 
 vulgarity, has made Baroness Phalanx spend her 
 daughters' small portions on a superficial educa- 
 tion, ruddle them up like new-shorn sheep, and 
 carry them to court and from court, from one city 
 
 to 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 6l 
 
 to another, from this southern to that eastern wa- 
 tering-place, but the same object that animated 
 Mr. Toms's endeavors, the hope of disposing of 
 a daughter?' Or what is it that induces Mrs. Pe-n- 
 ny worth to hazard her neck daily in her crazy vehi- 
 cle, culled from the stale fragments of the builder s 
 lofts, to shew her nieces, Anna-Maria, and Julia 
 in the Park, but the hope that somebody, it mat- 
 ters not who, may ask, ' Who are those pretty 
 girls ?' We do not often applaud rebellion ; but 
 we can excuse the perverse decorum of these 
 children, when we see them draw back with a 
 resolution not to be stared at. And when others 
 of our friends claim our attention to their daush- 
 ters' productions and accomplishments, as they are 
 mis-called, is it not in the hope of what may 
 ensue? and is it not all as vulgar, as * Mr. Toms 
 and his daughter.' — The motive stamps the action, 
 and we know the motive. — Why was Mrs. Myops 
 in hysterics of joy when Carnefaccia, the statuary, 
 begged leave to model her daughter's foot? Why 
 has she, since it has been in the shop windows, 
 looked shy on Frank Manly, and redoubled her 
 attention to the young Marquis? — 'Tis all ' Mr. 
 Toms and his daughter' enacted over and over 
 again; and Volpone, whether performed in a barn 
 or a theatre royal, is still Ben Johnson's comedy 
 ' The Fox.' 
 
 Miss Toms was at this time thirty years of age 
 — a melancholy period to the vain and frivolous. 
 We have indeed heard our noble-minded Cornelia 
 thank God she had reached twenty-nine — but then 
 
 Cornelia 
 
62 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 Cornelia is neither vain nor frivolous; she is not 
 aware that her person is admired; and she rejoices 
 in getting free from that impedimeiat of youth, 
 which might lessen her powers of protection and 
 assistance. Cornelia has designs too vast to 
 be bounded by this world. To lead others with 
 her in the path of righteousness, is one of the 
 occupations of her life, and in this endeavour expe- 
 rience assists. ]\Iiss Toms had no such hard labor 
 to encounter: her father's funeral removed every 
 obstacle to her taking possession of this world ; 
 and of another she knew, if possible, less. 
 
 In ' the common way,' — living genteelly in Lon- 
 don, when London was fashionable, and out of 
 it, or in what is called ^ London out of town,' at 
 other times, she got on to near thirty-five, not 
 having realised, and why she had not done it she 
 knew not — above half the pleasure she had been 
 promised by hope, as the exclusive patrimony of 
 a great heiress. Her mortifications had often coun- 
 terbalanced her enjoyments : youth and beauty 
 would sometimes attract more notice than wealth 
 and finery ; and there was, in a rising generation, 
 something she knew not what, which she had not 
 perceived in that co-eval with herself. Her endea- 
 vours to refine her connexions, made her sensible of 
 the advantage of rank, consequently ' family pride 
 ■was with her a darling theme of reprehension : and 
 when she had made exertions to bribe a party 
 round her by the only attraction she had to offer, 
 it was dejecting to find that something, very tri- 
 fling in her estimation^ would turn a body of 
 
 recruits 
 
TriE <!:OUNTESS AND GERTRUt)E. 63, 
 
 recruits into deserters. By degrees, her spirits 
 flagged ; and the little cheerfulness new happiness 
 had occasioned, departed. Finding it difficult to 
 distinguish herself by spending, the wish to spend 
 became superseded by one to save. Little was 
 relinquished or acquired by this change. The 
 acid and alkaline coalescence of pride and parsi- 
 mony sometimes produce a neutral ; and it was 
 doing no flagrant injury to society, when Lord 
 Luxmore thought of a marriage with Miss Toms 
 as the best means to save him from the trouble, 
 the hopeless trouble ! of learning to be wise. 
 
 In the outset of this splendid attachment, she 
 had not been entrapped ignorantly ; she had been 
 warned; she had sacrificed more than one sincere 
 friend of her family, in the discussion. She had 
 resented as personal insult, a hint from her uncle, 
 that a plain woman of her age, ran a tremendous 
 risk in marrying a needy nobleman of eighteen. 
 Anonymous letters had told her of incipient at- 
 tachments and an arranged connexion : his debts 
 and his pursuits had been stated, and he had been 
 characterized, perhaps somewhat beyond the per- 
 mission of truth, as incapable of nothing but 
 acting well. Her advisers, like many who mean 
 just the contrary of what they effect, thought 
 the stronger the dose, the more certain the cure. 
 Arsenic may be given in a quantity that proves 
 its antidote ; and Miss Toms's heart rose unhurt 
 from the stroke that was intended to dismiss its 
 new interest. 
 
 To 
 
64 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE.- 
 
 To the arguments founded on disparity of age, 
 she had replied by remarking, that if it was an ob- 
 jection, it belonged to LordLuxmore to make it: all 
 men were not of that light disposition which seeks 
 only what is childish : his error s were no blemish : 
 ' a reformed rake always made the best husband:' 
 she might have added, that men of fashion are 
 thought by many ladies to give eclat to vice, and 
 that superior rank claimed the privilege of acting 
 under carte blanche from conscience. — His female 
 connexions he certainly would give up when he 
 married her; and what more could be expected? His 
 debts she meant to pay ; and, with many thanks 
 for the kind and disinterested endeavors of her 
 good friends, she considered herself as the person 
 best able to judge of what was conducive to her 
 own happiness. Some credit, she observed, had 
 been given her by her ^poor dear father for prudent 
 conduct, and she could not think her understand- 
 ing so "oerij much btlow that of the rest of the 
 world, as to need perpetual guardianship. But of 
 what use were prudence, caution and good sense, 
 if now that she chose to act for herself in a point 
 where no one had any right to act for her, she was 
 to be treated as if she needed, what she never yet 
 had asked, the advice of friends ? 
 
 To prove at once her candor, her freedom from 
 suspicion, or rather from common sense, and her 
 love, all disadvantageous reports were duly com- 
 municated to his lordship ; and their frequency 
 furnished him with a good argument for urging 
 
 on 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 65 
 
 6n the day which was to deprive her counsellors 
 of their right to counsel, and convince the world 
 that she was of age and ability to judge for herself, 
 'il'iie ensuing winter would confound all opposition. 
 The malice of those who presumed to think them- 
 selves at present her equals, could not follow ker 
 into the splendid appropriations of rank and ho- 
 nors. Where she was welcomed as a guest, these 
 persons could not gain admittance even as spec- 
 tatois. They could only hear of her enviable ex- 
 altation, and would, in time, be taught by the 
 distance between them and her, to court that in- 
 fluerice which they might justly fear. In short, she 
 now, he observed, had gone too far in her path of 
 noble independence to recede : she must be what 
 her father's discernment of her merit, and confi- 
 dence in her propriety of conduct, had hitherto 
 exempted her from being, the ward and the pup- 
 pet of her self-interested relations, whom nothing 
 but their consanguinity, prevented his lordship 
 from denominating the dregs of the people, if she 
 once said or gave reason to suppose, that she re- 
 pented of her partiality for a man who was willing, 
 for her sake, to forego every consideration but 
 that of rescuing her trom an usurped government, 
 which, if not now immediately felt in all its iron 
 tyranny, he saw, and had more reasons than he 
 chose to name for asserting, was ready to crush 
 her the moment she withdrew from his fond pro- 
 tection. 
 
 If the earl of Luxmore was but a common-plac6 
 orator; if his arguments seemed fetched rather 
 
 VOL. T. F from 
 
66 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE- 
 
 from his necessities than from his passion ; if, in 
 short, Avhat he said was any thing but fair reason- 
 in<T and legitimate deduction, it nmst at least be 
 confessed that he knew liis auditor, and possessed 
 the power of accommodathi.o; his rhetoric to the 
 occasion that called for it. All he said found a 
 willing ear, except the allusion to the inferiority of 
 Miss Toms's connexions : this claimed a short 
 pause in her perfect acquiescence,. and before she 
 confessed his lordship in the right, and fully ac- 
 quainted with her sentiments, she stopped to fight 
 the battle of some few of her relations, by proving 
 pcttv distinctions bestowed on some of their pro- 
 genitors, and local honours sought by others. The 
 greatest and most substantial vindication of them, 
 she, like many hasty orators, passed over in si- 
 lence ; she omitted entirely the mention of high 
 respectability, inviolable integrity; and the esteem 
 and confidence of their fellow-citizens, which many 
 Qf licr family had possessed, without wishing for 
 the paltry and unsuitable distinctions which are the 
 last exertion of expiring humility. 
 
 Let us, however, in this purely mercenary nego- 
 ciation, do the earl justice. Miss Toms had been 
 pointed out to him, at an Easter- ball, which the 
 hope of flattering the sherifl' into a loan had in- 
 duced him to attend, as a great heiress, and one 
 pot very likely to refuse the oiier of rank. Some- 
 thing had, to his praise be it spoken ! made his 
 conscience for a vvhile hesitate and ask him whe- 
 ther starving on his pay in tiie guards, an appli- 
 cation for a pension, or even the experiujent of 
 
 opconomical 
 
THE COUXTESS AND GERTRUDE. G/ 
 
 ^Economical prudence, were not preferable to the 
 renunciation of a poor papist-girJ, whom he had 
 decoyed from a hamlet, and attached to him by the 
 gratitude consequent on kindness, and to the de- 
 testable hypocrisy for which he must pledge him- 
 self: but the threat of a foreclosure of the mort- 
 gage on his family mansion opposed his scruples, 
 and the lady's uncle settled the business complete- 
 ly, by prevailing on one of his lordship's creditors 
 to disturb him, that the news might reach her, and 
 crush, as he hoped it must, the passion, he sup- 
 posed, a couple of country-dances had given birth 
 to. — This ill-timed officiousness made up the earl's 
 mind : he promised the clamorous tradesman a 
 full discharge of his debt to him in three months, 
 and at the Opera that evening, sought and won the 
 heiress. All previous matters were soon adjusted, 
 where on one side there was so much to urge, and 
 on the other bO much to allure. A superb house' 
 was taken, and furnished with all the celerity of 
 London upholsterers; equip^ages were chosen, 
 servants hired ; the bride's clothes exhibited as 
 usual, and tried on by all fair candidates for simi- 
 lar honors ; and the morning papers soon gratified 
 the town by announcing the happy event m fa- 
 shionable terms, equivalent with * chastely elegant 
 in her decorations — ' Brussels lace robt — * chariot 
 andfouf — ' happy pair — 'felicitous honey-moon^ 
 kc. &c. 
 
 In the progress of this courtship, some praise is 
 due to his lordship's cautious integrity of profes- 
 sions. When he urged the fair mistress of his des- 
 
 F g tiny 
 
68 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 tiny to do, what he saw she wanted only an excuse 
 for doing, he bound himself by the most solemn 
 promises to fulfil, to the utmost, every wish of her 
 heart ; and as he knew enough of that region to be 
 assured that the herald and the jeweller could 
 execute all he undertook, and was sufficiently con- 
 versant with the world and its view of things, to 
 trust that the woman he married must, at least for 
 a time, be envied, he had no premeditated design 
 to impeach his honor, or fail in the performance 
 of his promises. 
 
 In his lordship's character the predominant fea- 
 ture, if we may so term a negative, was the ab- 
 sence of every principle, good or ill : he was by 
 no means atrocious, nor perhaps would he have 
 been bad if any pains had ever been taken to make 
 him otherwise : he had a great deal of natural good 
 humor, which bore an amiable semblance without 
 having any root in the soil of his mind : his person 
 was uncommonly fine, his manners perfectly ele- 
 gant : to have deemed him a fool would have 
 been as wide of the truth as to have dubbed him 
 a philosopher : he was, what may every spring- 
 day and every hour, when men of fashion appear 
 abroad, be met in Hyde-Park, the subscription- 
 houses, and all other lounges of the * upper 
 world.' Had he married a sensible woman, he 
 would have become respectable; for to immediate 
 influence he was more than ordinarily open. The 
 woman he married could make no addition to the 
 catalogue of his virtues, but patience and self- 
 abasement, nor offer for his advantage any of that 
 
 soft 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 69 
 
 soft power which never assumes so little as when it 
 accomplishes the most. 
 
 One great and lasting comfort, however, at- 
 tended their union : the parties were out of the 
 reach of deception or disappointment. As Miss 
 Toms's property was entirely Bank-Stock, no mis- 
 take could take place in that important point; and 
 as his lordship stood recorded in the peerage as 
 Basil Sydenham, Earl of Luxinore, Viscount 
 Portargis, Baron Sydenham of Luxmore, in the 
 
 county of a captain in the first regiment of 
 
 foot-guards, — which, to avoid being laughed at, he 
 quitted before his nuptials took place, — his lady 
 could not be defrauded of her nobility : each there- 
 fore had what each purchased. 
 
 Any power, that her superiority of age and ex- 
 perience might give her over the errors of so un- 
 schooled a husband, had not connected itself with 
 Lady Luxmore's recollections or her solicitude for 
 aggrandizement; and of that union which doubles 
 joy and divides sorrow, the one might have had 
 just as clear a notion as the other, if accident had 
 not given his lordship an advantage. But there 
 was this difference between them : he had, in his 
 mind, an indistinct outline of an amiable female 
 character ; but of worth in a man, she knew no- 
 thing. Miss Toms had studied no character but 
 that of her father : Lord Luxmore had, in two 
 years' domestication with his girl of the hamlet, 
 found or fancied all the happiness that female so- 
 ciety could give : it wanted, indeed, that sine qua 
 VP71 with some scrupulous minds, innocence ; but 
 
70 THE COUXTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 he had discernrnent enough to feel, or else some- 
 body had convinced hiui, that the instant it ceased 
 to be illicit, it v. oiild cease to exist : he therefore 
 rested content. 
 
 The object of his passion was the daughter of 
 very poor pareiits, v.ho thinking they should share 
 in any good fortune they mio;ht procure for her, 
 agreed in making her useless and dependent. Se- 
 duced themselves from the religion of their fore- 
 fathers by a cathoHc iamily, who became pur- 
 chasers of the property ail round them, they gave 
 up this daughter to the lady who had done them 
 this kindness^ and ^vho having all the amiable 
 warmth of her mode of faith, and perceiving in her 
 /?;'0^e_^^'ee a mind capable of any degree of refine- 
 ment, indulged her weak benevolence in setting 
 her feelings to that fine edge, which even the ac- 
 tion of the air will injure. Cnllivating her imagi- 
 nation, with no view but to see it w hen cultivated, 
 she destroyed every active power, and spent those 
 hours in teaching her to read poetry and give pathos 
 to tragedy, \^ hich had been far more meritoriously 
 spent in the dairy or the laundry. — Beauty and 
 delicacy were pleaded as the excuses for, or rather 
 tiie justification of, her folly ; and when his lord- 
 ship had accepted the invitation of a son of this 
 familv, to spend a few^ weeks with them, he found 
 this anomaly in the drawing-room, and thence al^ 
 lured her by professions of passion, and ambiguous 
 phrases, which credulity might translate into any 
 thing. Tl:e poor girl, taught to be weak, was not 
 of necessity vicious : she submitted to all the ob- 
 scurity 
 
THE COUNTESS A^H GERTRUr.'E. 7l 
 
 scurity attached to such a situation, and proved 
 that she might have made an honest man, a degree 
 above lier own rank, an amiable, if not a useful 
 wife. Delighted to exert every talent she pos- 
 sessed for him whom she wished — O ! how vain 
 the wish to a mind but half corrupted ! — to consi- 
 der as her benefactor, she recited at times the 
 most pathetic parts of the Paradise Lost, and then 
 instructing him in that which had instructed her, 
 she gave him at once the copy and the original, 
 and charmed him by her fancied resemblance to 
 that which she taught him to believe the archetype 
 to which he was indebted for all that he loved in 
 her 'K 
 
 Lord Luxmore's faults, as well as his better 
 qualities, were all, like the teeth of infants, without 
 any foundation, easily made useful or easily re- 
 moved : virtues and their opposites had all grown 
 
 * Whether the earl or his mistress, or even the present 
 fa'ihion of admiring Milton's Eve, be correct, we humbly 
 conceive admits a question. We cannot but think the poet 
 drew what he intended a portrait of tlie weaker sex, and not 
 at all less weak tlian her sex, decked with all the charms 
 compatible with that weakness. Eve is a lovely, wayv/ard, 
 pouting, bewitching, great girl, recommended very forcibly 
 to the gentlemen by her fine hair and her docility, but, to 
 nice observers, disgraced by the petty artifice that seems to 
 cling to her character. However just may be the delinea- 
 tion, no woman could feel flattered by a comparison with Eve, 
 unless the power of fascination be in itself really valuable. In 
 our opinion, the lady in Comus was designed by Milton as a 
 far more perfect picture ; and certyJnl)' there is in her a cha- 
 racter of goodness infinitely superior to the ductility of Eve, 
 though perhaps much less bewitching. 
 
 together ; 
 
73 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 tof^ether ; and no culture had been bestowed on 
 them. The absence of all regard or interest for a 
 clergyman of his family, wIk), though now poorly 
 provided for by a living forty miles west of Lon- 
 don, and distinguished by him only by the title of 
 * The poor devil,' he knew, as matters stood, might 
 one day, in his own, or his son's person, grace, 
 far better than he had yet done, that of Luxmore, 
 induced him to wish for an heir, and prompted 
 him to be civil to his wife, while the little viscount 
 was in expectancy ; but not all the prudence of 
 liis good behaviour could, even then, hide from 
 the countess that she was grandly miserable. His 
 care for her made her a state prisoner ; and hav- 
 ing no friendships in her world of acquaintance, 
 few were solicitous to learn how she got rid of her 
 lagging hours. For the benefit of the air, she was 
 advised to retire into the country before she had 
 exhibited half her paraphernalia, and before, as 
 she expressed herself in a letter to one of her bride- 
 maids, one mortal soul had thought of leavincr 
 town. It was, most unfortunately, at a time of 
 year when her lord's engagements would not ad- 
 mit of his attending her, gladly as, she was cer- 
 tain, he would have shared her solitude and /e^<y/- 
 ed himself, as she assured her correspondent he 
 exprest it, on her society. 
 
 But to all this realization of Ceyx and Alcyone, 
 ' the fates had not consented,' and the countess 
 was obliged to go, attended only by her waiting- 
 woman, to the worst part of an eastern county, 
 where his lordship's chateau^ which her fortune 
 
 ha4 
 
THE COUNTESS AMD GERTRUDE. 75 
 
 had secured from the gripe of a mortgage, had 
 emerged from the haunts of the fox and the otter. 
 Having accomplished his purpose of getting her 
 away from liim, he was guilty of no farther offence : 
 he received her attempts at correspondence with 
 great command of countenance, if his valet hap- 
 pened to be near ; and occasionally he sent an ex- 
 press to satisfy himself either of her welfare as to 
 health, or her ignorance of the more agreeable 
 arrangements his improved finances had enabled 
 him to make with the girl of the hamlet. 
 
 r:> 
 
 CHAP. 
 
74 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 Solitaiy grandeur. Mr. Lint's account of his neighbors. IIozo 
 to treat the parson of the parish. Motive for going to church. 
 A decent rector. A country congregation. Hints to- the di- 
 lator ii. The grace of condescension. Usefulness of visitors in 
 a family. Anecdote of the Marchiones': of 
 
 The emiui of such a situation was not to be borne 
 "without complaint ; and it naturally suggested to 
 the sufferer every possible expedient, but the best, 
 for its mitigation. She intreated her lord to pre- 
 vail on some one or two of those whom she had 
 carried about with her, — things to talk to and look 
 at, — in her short blaze of splendor, to make her a 
 visit ; but the inducements offered were no coun- 
 terbalance to the renunciations required. The 
 county Avas not a fashionable county : had it been 
 Hertfordshire, Berkshire, or Buckinghamshire, 
 something might have been done. Bath, even in 
 its inferiority of spring-attraction, compared to the 
 metropolis, might, for the sake of novelty, have 
 been put up with : if the heights round it had no 
 charms for the taste of these Paradise-hunters, yet 
 Milsom-street had always something to please the 
 eye; and an evening in Bath was always a disposa- 
 ble commodity — but shire was shocking, and 
 
 the question. How far from the county-town ? al- 
 
 ways ended the negociatioii. 
 
 It 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 75 
 
 It was now May. A wet spring had made all 
 countries bad, and bad roads impassable. Lux- 
 more was insulated by the thaws and the rains ; 
 and these circumstances, used by the countess as 
 motives to pity, were converted by those whom 
 she herself attempted to move, into reasons for 
 civil refusal. London, unaffected by thaws or 
 rains, where inconveniences are felt only by the 
 scene-shifters and candle-snuffers of pleasure, and 
 not by the actors in its dramas, was in its higliest 
 brilliancy ; and the details of fashion and splendor, 
 whicii the transmitted newspapers conveyed to the 
 pining countess, served only to aggravate her re- 
 gret, and to bring her m.ind to that state of cool 
 decision, which has been before remarked on, as 
 faulty only in the season allotted for its perfection. 
 
 She had been three weeks in this solitude, un- 
 cheared by any episode, except the visits of the 
 apothecary ; and had still, according to her lord's 
 and ner physician's kind plan for her health and 
 safety, a prospect of near four months' waiting in 
 the same place, when, out of all heart and hope 
 and temper, she condescended to enquire what so- 
 ciety the little decayed town on the farther side of 
 the park, contained. The apothecary, on whose 
 information she sought to attain this knowledge, 
 enumerated first of all, as entitled to precedence, 
 his own wife, Mrs Lmt; and next, as having a re- 
 gard for the profession of divinity, Mr. Aubrey 
 the rector, and Mrs. Aubrey, his wife. Her^ady- 
 ship stopt him by dispensing with his particular- 
 ising in this quarter, as Mr. Aubrey had made her 
 3 a visit 
 
76 THE COUXTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 a visit on her arrival, of which, she said, in the 
 fearful certainty that he could do nothing but 
 preach, which of all things under heaven she ab- 
 horred, she had taken no notice. The knight of 
 the pestle anticipated any self-reproach her lady- 
 ship s humility might suggest to her, by assuring 
 her, she had no loss in declining the visits of Mrs. 
 Aubrey, as he himself was a strange queer man, 
 and his wife, though a prettyish sort of woman in- 
 deed, a mere water-gruel character. Mr. Aubrey 
 was himself a dabbler in medicine ; and the Lord 
 knew what would become of them ! for he could 
 take his oath he never took five shillings a year of 
 their money. 
 
 To the question, ' And who have you besides, 
 doctor ?' she had no very encouraging reply : * A 
 mere parcel of riff-raff'! petty traders and shop- 
 keepers, such as would not suit your ladyship in 
 the smallest degree — coarse vulgar money -getting 
 people : none rich, but all covetous. Indeed I 
 believe, my lady, I may truly say, there is not a 
 gentlewoman in the w hole place but my wife, and, 
 indeed, Mrs. Aubrey — O ! Mrs. Aubrey certain- 
 Iv. — Mrs. Lint, I am sure, my lady, would be 
 very happy to come and play a little piquet or 
 cribbage with your ladyship, at any time, when it 
 is not washing-week or the fair.' * Thank you, 
 thank you, good Mr. Lint,' replied her ladyship : 
 ' I really am so forlorn here, that I am moped to 
 death ; and my lord is now so taken up with busi- 
 ness, that I do not get three lines from him in a 
 week ; he is, I know, excessively miserable about 
 
tHE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 77 
 
 me, but he can't give me any hope of his coming 
 down. I can't prevail on any of my London 
 friends to come and stay with me ; and here I 
 know not a soul. I wish my Lord would let me 
 go to one of the watering-places ; for there one has 
 a chance of seeing one's acquaintance ; but here 
 — I might as well be out of the world. However, 
 I nmst submit and make the best of it : * we, mar- 
 ried ladies,' must do as our lords and masters 
 please, and people of distinction can t act like the 
 common herd.' 
 
 A retort of the two last words was on the lips of 
 jMachaon : but stifling the recollection, that at this 
 rate of computation, even JMrs. Lint was degraded 
 down to * the common herd;' he turned his anger 
 into a species of indignant effrontery, that gave 
 him courage to justify Lord Luxmore's exertion of 
 conjugal authority, under the plea, that her lady- 
 ship * could not be confined in a better place,' a 
 hint that ^ he was never out of the way,' and an 
 observation, that ' the heir to an earldom ought 
 certainly to be born in his father's castle.' 
 
 These intimations convinced the countess that 
 her visitor was in an error she should have plea- 
 sure in correctinor. Seeing through his little selfish 
 
 r? o o 
 
 artifice, she exultingly declared it was not her 
 Lord's plan, nor would she submit to it on any 
 terms, that the heir ot Luxmore should first breatiie 
 the filthy air of shire fens. He had pro- 
 mised to remove her to town, or the neio;hborhood 
 of it, in due time, and she should insist on his 
 making good his promise. 
 
 With 
 
73 TfiE COUXIESS AXi) GERTRUDE. 
 
 ^Vitb a vast deal of throat-clearing, face-strok- 
 ing, and aukvv^ard hesitation, ]\Ir. Lint was about 
 to hide Iris vexation by retiring, when her ladyship 
 again resuming the subject of her seclusion, inti- 
 mated, that, being a little curious to see what tlie 
 neighborhood did not afford, and ' having nothing 
 better to do,' she would, if the next Sunday was 
 tolerably fair, and the road at all passable, make 
 one in the congregation at the parish-church, 
 merely, as she said, for the purpose of looking 
 round.' 
 
 Either natural integrity, or a spirit of contra- 
 diction, prompted the man of medicine to reply 
 by dissuasion, as the experiment in the state of 
 her ladyship's health and the roads, might defeat 
 her husband's wishes ; but, on second thoughts, 
 he recollected, that ' it was not his affair,' and he 
 was silent. He behaved, as every prudent apo- 
 thecary should do ' to a woman of distinction :' — 
 he let her have her own way. 
 
 In monotonous life every thing is an adventure; 
 as in a plain, every rise is a hill. Lady Luxmore 
 havinjT resolved on ' servino- her Maker' on the en- 
 suing Sunday, began to prepare for it : her first 
 enquiry was concerning the state of the roads. 
 Her equipage was a travelling post-chaise with one 
 pair of horses, who since their arrival had never 
 been harnessed. The men-servants, who saw 
 less sport in fatiguing themselves by exertions for 
 public worship, th^n in skittles and quoits at 'the 
 Luxmore arms,' all set their faces against the pro- 
 ject; and it had no friend but the lady's woman, 
 
 who 
 
THE COUXTESS AND GERTRUDE. 79 
 
 who having a little tender arrangement with the 
 gardener, which her ladyship's bell was. sure to 
 interrupt, — on motives, undoubtedly of pure 
 piety, commended the goodness of her ladyship, 
 and the condescension of people of distinction, 
 whenever they ^ demeaned' themselves by goin<)- to 
 church. 
 
 There was a covert suggestion of degradation 
 in this sentence of praise, which might at any 
 other time, and in any other place, have alarmed 
 the countess's sense of propriety; but now that 
 in the level of her wearisome life, she had placed 
 an object, important as Ely to the landscape of 
 its vicinity, she would not lose sight of it, but 
 resolved, cost what it might, that she would not 
 be hindered from ' serving her IMaker : she was 
 leading quite a heathenish life ; and she wondered 
 how people, who called themselves Christians, 
 could do so.' Not a word therefore of the grum- 
 bling about the poor horses, who stiff for want of 
 exercise, certainly did not wish to drag through 
 the bottomless mire a carriage, none of the light- 
 est, reached her attention : she w^as decided on 
 her duty, and her next subject of decision was her 
 dress. 
 
 She had, in early and mature life, spent many 
 an agreeable hour in the assortn^.ent of colors and 
 the disposition of ornaments, for various and con- 
 fessedly important occasions ; but on no one had 
 ishe bestowed more mental discussion. — She was, 
 as she observed of herself, ^ ail at sea to a degree,' 
 for she had no one from whom to copy, or to whom 
 
 to 
 
80 TllE COUNTESS A^^D GERTRtJI>£. 
 
 to prescribe. She could not ask ' what other peo- 
 ple did,' for in her estimation there were no * other 
 people;' and as her woman remarked, her lady- 
 ship was left entirely to her ladyship's good sense 
 and taste — only certainly her ladyship would not 
 go meanly drest, lest she might be taken for an or- 
 dinary person. In this she acquiesced entirely r 
 the question therefore in debate was, whether she 
 should subdue by exceeding, or interest by for- 
 bearincr. After lonj^ hesitation, she chose the for- 
 mer ; and whatever of finery could, without posi- 
 tive and ludicrous absurdity, be exhibited in a 
 church, was spread for her selection. 
 
 But at the moment of equipment, her ideas 
 changed : the awful was at once rejected ; but 
 whether to charm by languid elegance, or to do 
 something else by contemptuous negligence, was 
 still undetermined — when, lo ! the whole project 
 was nearly cast to the ground by an unforeseen 
 indisposition, which kept her ladyship in almost 
 hopeless doubt during her breakfast-hour, and then 
 allowed her no alternative but to stay at home, or 
 to make her appearance in her unstudied deshabille. 
 Lady Luxmore the/ ef ore exhibited at lier parish^ 
 church, not reprehensibly habited. 
 
 A servant had been dispatched the preceding 
 day to give notice of the countess's pious inten- 
 tions, ostomhiy, that the family- pew in the chancel- 
 might be prepared for her. The precaution was 
 superfluous; for good, communicative, brisk INIr. 
 Lint had already, at every house where his visits were 
 paid for, divulged the important circumstance, by 
 
 lamenting 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 81 
 
 lamenting, with all the pathos of extreme vexation 
 and evil augury, that ^ his friend the countess' 
 would not be dissuaded by his arguments from 
 venturing to church. 
 
 Mr. Aubrey, on whom the whole of the duty 
 lay, was in the desk punctually; and at the ac- 
 customed moment, with his accustomed precision, 
 was going to begin. Mr. Lint, as well as every 
 one who w^ould come, was in the church in Sunday 
 gear. Seeing Mr. Aubrey stand up, he just stept 
 out of his little pew, on tiptoe, and in a whisper 
 submitted to his judgment tlae propriety and po- 
 liteness of waiting for her ladyship. — ' Are we met, 
 Mr. Lint, to serve our Creator, or the countess of 
 Luxmore?' * To the Lord our God belong mer- 
 cies' — he proceeded. 
 
 In the middle of the litany — to join in requesting 
 a share in this world's blessings and the protection 
 of its Maker — and too late for any preparatory 
 acknowledgment of infinite unworthiness, entered 
 the person, who, unencumbered by those impedi- 
 ments which form admissible excuses for the lower 
 classes, it is to be supposed would have wished to 
 set an example of punctuality and promptitude *. 
 
 ♦ Were only the Lady Luxmores of the world guilty of 
 this sad breach of good manners, and we may say decency, 
 we would pass it without comment ; but it is our ill fortune 
 to see, in the metropolis, professors of righteousness, persons 
 the most vehement in reforming the morals of the poor, and 
 the most inclined to extol indiscriminately whatever has the 
 word * religion' attached to it, lamentably deficient in this 
 indispensable duty of keeping their appointment \\iik their 
 Maker. We were taught in oiir childhood, that if we were 
 
 VOL. I, ' G llustic 
 
82 THE COUNTESS ANt) GERTRUDE. 
 
 Rustic curiosity had been wound up ; and human 
 frailty, become active and vigorous, was helping 
 everyone who could not see kneeling, to quit their 
 Supplicating posture, when Mr. Aubrey, by giv- 
 ing a new emphasis to his voice, and by raising his 
 uplifted hands with a gesture of increased earnest- 
 ness, proportioned to the momentary sin of the 
 people, refixed the attention of all, save IVlr. Lint, 
 as he uttered, almost with a broken voice, * That 
 it may please Thee to have mercy upon all men.' 
 
 not present at the general confession, we had better stay from 
 church ; but certainly there must be two opinions on, the sub- 
 ject, or else the subject is not worth an opinion ; for the first 
 lesson seems, in some elegant neighborhoods, the genteelest 
 time for disturbing: a consregation. We cannot overcome the 
 shame of entering, even when the first sentences are reading, 
 such is the unhappy force of prejudice ! but we suspect it is 
 as unpolite an observance as that of being punctual to a din- 
 ner hour. We should gladly be informed of the principle on 
 which those who puzzle us act ; and in return we will tell 
 them, that with such a corrective in their own conduct, they 
 may subscribe to every public charity * in vogue,' they may 
 give advice, books, encouragement, nay, every thing, to the 
 poor, and they will do no good. Could they know the impe- 
 diment they are to us * of the old school/ they ought to have 
 mercy-, if they have no decency. Without passing a heavier 
 censure on them than we would willingly utter against a fel- 
 low-creature, we could not reprove a servant for this inatten- 
 tion, while their example stands in our way; we must make 
 them despised before we could make others obedient. But 
 they do this in some measure for themselves : they must not 
 complain of any breach of duty in the lower classes; they 
 teach by a colossal model ; and it is they who expose us to 
 the reply of * If gentlefolks who ought to know so much 
 iwitter, do so, what can they expect from us? 
 
 The 
 
THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 8S 
 
 The countess's triumph was therefore postponed 
 till the singing*psalm, and by that time, she was 
 convinced that nearly two miles of bad road, and 
 the exertion of her driver to gain upon the clock, 
 lest, if there should be no sermon, they might 
 meet the congregation on their way home, had ren- 
 dered it matter of doubt how she should endure 
 the fatigue of her return. As her dress had been 
 compelled into decency, her deportment was re- 
 strained, by her indisposition, to what afforded no 
 food for observation. She with difficulty sat out 
 the sermon, was obliged then to remain still in the 
 corner of her curtained pew, till the church was 
 quite cleared, and, at the suggestion of Mr. Lint, 
 to request Mr. and Mrs. Aubrey to allow her half 
 an hour's rest at the rectory -house. 
 
 Under such circumstances, and with unpreju* 
 diced strangers. Lady Luxmore could make none 
 but a favorable impression. Mrs. Aubrey, on 
 hearing her request, came to her, and conducted 
 her to her house, where Mr. Aubrey had prepared 
 for her reception. She met with respect and kind- 
 ness, soon recovered sufficiently to be sensible that 
 she was fortunate in her situation, and, with no 
 ^reat persuasion, consented to remain there till the 
 [lext day. 
 
 I The ideas which fine ladies form of * country 
 ,)arsons, and country parsons' wives,' are not al- 
 vays correct ; and whatever additional information 
 [Vlr. Lint's experience had furnished, could hardly 
 end to do away any preconceived dislike; but 
 I very recollection now gave place to tlie sense of 
 i &S ease; 
 
84 THE COUNTESS AND GERtRUDlS 
 
 ease ; and Lady Luxmore in the cliearfulness of 
 J^lr. Aubrev, and tlic assiduities of his little wife, 
 fancied she had found every virtue under Hea- 
 ven. Mr. Aubrey's stock of general information, 
 -tiiouizh not boundless, was admirable to one so 
 atliirst for son)cthing in the guise of amusement, 
 und to whose limited ideas so much of that w hich 
 every one else knows, might be new ; and as his 
 tl^oro ugh goodness made him very solicitous about 
 his guest, he ranked, in her estimation, as the 
 nyost polite man she had ever met with. Mrs. 
 Aubrey was well descended, and had in early life 
 seen somethiugof the * u[)per world :' she couki 
 detail little anecdotes and peculiarities of persons 
 in a rank of life far beyond the hopes of the then 
 M\is Toms: she was respectful, obliging, and 
 eon^.passionate, and being gratified by the rank of 
 her jyisitor, she appeared to consider all trouble as^ 
 pleasure : her want of powers of exertion, ar)d the 
 lack of method in all she did, passed for the awe 
 imposed by Lady Luxmore's superiority, and there 
 was a delicacy about her that disarmed criticism ; 
 she was, moreover, precisely in the same circum- 
 . stances, as the countess, and as, though she had 
 jao child then living, she had had many, her expe- 
 rience was of some use in supporting the invalid's 
 spirits. 
 
 . Ayheretbe person receiving kindness was sa 
 well sutislied, and the persons odering it were so 
 disposed, it required not all the reasons that might 
 jbaye been brought forward to extend this uninten-j 
 tional visit to the period of a week. I|er ladyship 
 
 was 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 85 
 
 was perfectly recovered in two days, and wrote tci 
 the earl such an exulting account of her improved 
 comforts, as, if he had studied them only, must 
 have gratified him. By way of justifying lier sud-» 
 den. partiality, she magnified all the excellence that 
 attracted her regard. Mr. Aubrey she described 
 as inferior only to king Solomon — she really be- 
 lieved he had read all the books in the world, and 
 any body would suppose he had been round the 
 globe and back again. Mrs. Aubrey was a most 
 charming nice woman, and a most agreeable com- 
 panion ; for nothing stirred in the great u orld 
 without her knowledge — a hint that made his lord- 
 ship order four post-horses for the follovving Satur- 
 day evening, when he knew a good moon would 
 convey him to Luxmore, and give him some hours 
 on Sunday to Ffearn whether Mrs. Aubrey heard 
 and reported ail that passed in the great world. 
 So unlooked for a favor as a visit from her lord 
 tended, not to disturb, but to improve the coun- 
 tess's novel enjoyments ; his coming, the haste of 
 his journey, nay, even the short time he could 
 stay, assisted to shew the important light in which 
 he considered his wife, and by testifying, the ten- 
 derness of his love, proved the worth of its object : 
 be paid a very early visit to the rectory-house on 
 the morning of his arrival, and behaving, as he 
 ever did, where deportment was concerned, ^vith 
 the most perfect propriety, he made that wiiich 
 was a convenience to himself appear a favor to 
 those Nvho were serving him : his arrival created a 
 
 bustle. 
 
85 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 bustle, Avhich his generosity more than requited ; 
 and his lady had every reason to suppose her- 
 self the envy, and her lord the admiration, of 
 every married and unmarried woman in the place. 
 Finding his countes^s preparing for her return 
 home, he escorted her thither, before ho set otF 
 again for London, having first bespoken the con- 
 tinuance o'f Mr. and Mrs. Aubrey s obliging atten- 
 tion to her. His lordship's manners were always 
 above his age, and in assuming the character of 
 a husband, and in the prospect of being soon a 
 father, that natural propriety which makes some 
 of our friends always look well drest, that uncon- 
 scious choice of what is right, which no awkward 
 person could ever imitate — made him a model 
 of external decorum. Though scarcely more 
 than a boy when he married, his conduct was ne- 
 ver boyish ; he was master of his house and his 
 houshold : his faults were, at least, well bred ; and 
 he had too much politeness to give offence to any 
 one. He completed his present condescension by 
 hoping the expected addition to the family at the 
 rectory-house, was not fully provided with spon- 
 sors, as he awd the countess must be allowed to 
 take a part in that agreeable charge on them- 
 selves. 
 
 Having seen his wife settled again at home, he 
 set off for town, very well satisfied that, notwith- 
 standing Mrs. Aubrey's extensive knowledge of the 
 great world, some things in it might escape her 
 sagacity. 
 
 Lady 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 87 
 
 Lady Luxmore's visit was to be returned by 
 one from the rector and his lady ; and the relapse 
 into solitude was much cheared by the hope of 
 soon having, at least, one willing auditor of what- 
 ever practising details of inherited opulence, na- 
 tive importance, personal charms, lovers, fine 
 clothes, or fine speeches, her ladyship might be 
 disposed to put together for the amusement of her 
 guests. 
 
 The visit commenced, to the satisfaction even 
 of the lady's woman, to whom it gave a holyday. 
 Servants and bell- ropes are infinitely obliged to 
 any thing that will keep quiet idle lords, ladies, 
 gentlemen and gentlewomen. The movements of 
 tlie industrious have some regularity, because re- 
 gularity is essential to industry ; but to guess the 
 wants or wishes of the idle, is impossible, as nei- 
 ther the one nor the other can arise from any thing 
 like reality, or be better founded than in caprice. 
 Who, however shrewd, could have guessed what 
 the marchioness rang for, when she ordered a ser- 
 vant in waiting on her bell, to ' take away the chil- 
 dren and bring her the dog?' 
 
 Every disagreeable circumstance attendant on, 
 or connected with, the residence at Luxmore, now 
 vanished : the summer, though late, proved be- 
 nign : the roads were passable ; the country was 
 all new : the families within a certain distance, had 
 visited the countess ; and London, growing un- 
 fashionable, was consequently in fashionable 
 phrase, * odious and filthy.' Rural joys rose in 
 their value, in proportion as the metropolis de- 
 clined 
 
88 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 dined in favor : ^ the house was by no means un- 
 comfortable'—' with a book and a friend she could 
 always pass her time agreeably' — * she did not 
 doubt that, ai^ she liked the place really very well, 
 Lord Luxmore would lay out some money on it,* 
 and ' it might, she was sure, be made a very pretty 
 thing.' 
 
 CHAPTEI^ 
 
 \ 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 89 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 Sfukn pleasures sweet, because stolen. The eaiTs son. Tht 
 rector's daughter. Infant espousals. Nursing hitulcrable. 
 Attempt to be gay. Conjugal disgusts. A gentle quarrcL 
 London a bad place for children. An affectionate father. A 
 negligent mother. An advising waiting-maid, A bahy asleep, 
 A mamas far ej^eli, Departurefor London. 
 
 August drew near its close ; and Lord Luxmore, 
 engaged, in London and out of it, in pleasures 
 vitiated only by the vicious connections in which 
 they were pursued, had not been able to get so far 
 as his own house. There are people in the world 
 to whom a walk through a wood would be recom- 
 mended by a warning not to trespass on the land, 
 and to whom, without this warning, the pleasure 
 would be insipid *. 
 
 * ' I like this walk,' said a lively girl to us, when entering 
 .on the private grounds of a friend : — * it looks so like tres- 
 passing/ — the girl was honest, and spoke the sense of thou- 
 sands. What other motive of preference could make Lady 
 Amabilis Penchant, at the duchess's ball, throw off the very 
 little that veiled her bosom, recline to advantage in her chair, 
 and with only one foot on the floor, dispose the other for th© 
 advertisement other hosier, while she flirted, as it is called, 
 but t(;e say, transgressed the bounds of decency^ in a silly con- 
 versation with that empty, noisy, and not innoxious cox- 
 comb, Hilary Scamper. We are persuaded that her ladyship 
 
 In 
 
90 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 In September, his lady was to be in town; but 
 Mrs. Aubrey having pitied her for being called thi- 
 ther at so homid a time of the year, she, in one of 
 her epistles to her lord ^CLtly intimated a doubt 
 of her ability to travel so far, at a time when it 
 would be necessary : a hint he joyfully accepted, 
 as ridding him of much inconvenience and some 
 trouble. As, in this new arrangement, it was his 
 plan to be beating about lor pheasants, while wait- 
 ing for the arrival of his heir, he could, without 
 much repugnance, promise to ' devote himself to 
 his wife, as soon as the press of engagements 
 w hich would follow the rising of parliament, per- 
 mitted. Partridge-shooting he meant to take w ith 
 aiiriend in the next county, near whose house he 
 could, without offence to the morals of his host, 
 place his illicit favorite ; and when there, he saw- 
 it would not be very difficult to establish her, on 
 his remove, at a convenient distance from his own 
 house ; w hich, considering the melancholy priva- 
 tion of society he must endure, while Lady Lux- 
 more was confined, every one of his way of think- 
 ing must consider as vastly excusable. It would 
 be mere prosing to descant on the sad vacuity of 
 heart which leaves room for such substitution : it 
 would be flying in the face of received opinion, to 
 intimate that the mind which can be content wdth 
 
 would not, on any consideration, draw nearer lo evil than 
 the appearance of it— but, to speak in no harsher terms, she 
 shews a sad taste, and she must not be angry if she is unjustly 
 abused. Wo will not help forward the mischief, but we dare 
 iLot defend one who will not defend herselft 
 
 vice, 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE, ^1 
 
 vice, is a mind deficient in sentiment; or that 
 Lord Luxmore, having pledged his word, his faith, 
 his honor, even to a disagreeable woman, would 
 have appeared far more elegant in a humane devo- 
 tion of his attention to her and his infant, than in 
 framing paltry falshoods, beneath the subterfuges 
 of a schoolboy, to get out of his own house almost 
 as soon as he had entered it. But so it was ; and 
 to such meanness does every one expose himself, 
 who so far departs from integrity, as to make a 
 vow of misery in order to get out of it, and from 
 common prudence as to persist in doing that of 
 which he is ashamed. 
 
 The first of October brought his lordship to his 
 family mansion, and a fortnight s havock amongst 
 the lovely birds, cheered by occasional ten-mile 
 excursions to his Rosamond, ending his waiting, 
 he saw his wishes for an heir gratified by the birth 
 of a son, so well conditioned in iiis appearance, as 
 to leave no anxiety on his mind about the descent 
 of his title, and his wife's property. 
 
 In less than a week after this bell-ringing event, 
 Mrs. Aubrey gave, perhaps, superior pleasure to 
 her husband, by becoming the mother of a stout 
 little brunette, not indeed by many degrees so 
 beauthul as Lord Viscount Portargis, but a child 
 of whom her father said, any thing might be made 
 w^ith a very small degree of care. The little lord 
 had soft blue eyes, a corresponding complexion, 
 and though robust, a character of quietness about 
 him much more easily disturbed into fretfulness 
 than excited to a smile ; while the parson's daugh- 
 3 ter 
 
9^ THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 ter opened wide on the world two dark eyes, and 
 seemed to struggle against the inarticulate difficul- 
 ties of an incipient existence. The one slept, 
 chafed, and cried, while the other exerted all lier 
 infant powers in her own behalf. 
 
 At the end of six weeks from the viscount's 
 birth, the children were eh.ristened together by the 
 names of Basil and Gertrude, and at the time of 
 the ceremony, which, out of respect to Mr. Au- 
 brey's opinions, the earl suffered to be performed 
 in the church, Mrs. Aubrey was so overcome by 
 delight, at seeing her first promising child made a 
 christian, and in company with the heir of Lux- 
 more, tliat she could not check a wish, that tlie 
 infant couple might, in the course of years, meet 
 in another part of the church more spontaneously. 
 The countess, with whom one person might pre- 
 sume, to a degree that would ruin anotlier in her 
 favor,' gaily adopted the fmcy ; and making the 
 baby-noble take the hand of the rector's daughter, 
 she presented her to him as * his little wife,'' ]\Ir. 
 Aubrey tried to frown ; but the hilarity of the par- 
 tics was triumphant. 
 
 Thes^e important events over, peace and happi- 
 ness seemed the lot of the two houses ; but, alas ! 
 a cause of difference soon arose in that of the 
 higher rank. Ills lordship had untowardly been 
 made acquainted, when a boy, with some hair- 
 bread tli 'scapes he had had from premature deatli 
 under the care of a drunken wet nurse; and from 
 this circumstance he had imbibed a most unfortu- 
 nate prc^'udice ai^ainst that description of persons. 
 
 It 
 
THE COUNT£SS AND GERTRUDE. ()S 
 
 It had not been difficult to prevail on the countess 
 to undertake the nursing her child ; fur she was as 
 ignorant, as she could be, of what it meant ; and 
 as Mrs. Aubrey, fjom peculiar feelings, preferred 
 it, and rejoiced in the prospect of this pleasure, no 
 obstacle came in the way ; but a very short expe- 
 riment satisfied her ladyship's curiosity, and wea- 
 ried her maternal patience. She was therefore at 
 the trouble of starving herself, and, at the expencc 
 of a present to Mr. Lint, to convince her lord, 
 that she and her infant were hastening to their 
 grave; and a wet-nurse, the sight of whom the 
 earl could scarce endure, was soon found. In vaiii 
 he had ventured to predict to his wife, that her 
 pwn health would fiu&ir : she had her own private 
 feelincfs and IMr. Lint on her side: and soon the 
 M'ordy war ended. To convince him that he was 
 wrong, she, on banishing her infant, made the 
 greatest shew possible of her perfect state of 
 health, of her weariness of shire, and her in- 
 difference about the little viscount, who was now 
 consigned wholly to servants' care, ^nd seen by his 
 mother, in due form, twice in the day. His father 
 indeed had more vivid feelings on this subject: he 
 watched, as far as he could, every indication of 
 health or ailment, and saw Mrs. Aubrey daily, to 
 hear her opinions ; hut a child so young was inca- 
 pable, not only of valuing but of receiving a fa- 
 ther's attentions in arijw^y ; and for the want of 
 those of a mother, what'shajl compensate * ? 
 
 ♦ It is almost proverbial, that half-mea-^ures are worse tlian 
 no measures ; arid this truth we have had occasion to recol- 
 
 Ihe 
 
94? THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 Tlie autumn proving uncommonly fine, the 
 space between this time and the meeting of parlia- 
 ment late in January, was passed by his lordship 
 in the usual vicissitudes of shooting, coursing, 
 hunting, and playing billiards with guests in his 
 house ; and by her ladyship in entertaining the 
 wives and daughters of the few of these guests who 
 were family-men, in visits to and from the neigh- 
 bors and the rectory-house, the road to which had 
 been easily made passable, and when she was at 
 home and alone, in absolute unprofitable stagna- 
 tion, varied, indeed, by the visits of Mr. Lint, or 
 the conversation of her waiting-woman. She 
 made an attempt, it is true, at introducing the 
 exotics of London into shire, and in hopes 
 
 lect, in our observations on the effects produced by the well- 
 meant endeavor to recommend the care of their infants tola- 
 dies. There is a humorous way of being passively obedient, 
 vhich brings instant repentance on llie mind of an arbitrary 
 commander ; and one might imagine, if the business were 
 not a little too serious, that this is the merry mood of some 
 Jady-nurses, who, forgetting that to indulge in the ordinary 
 pursuits of the idle, is incompatible with that higher indul- 
 gence, which ought rather to be considered as a permission 
 than a command, forego not an hour's amusement. We 
 heard a very sensible mother of a family reply to the com- 
 plaints of another on the ill condition of her baby, * How is 
 it possible it can be otherwise? Yon are out from what you 
 call noon till past midnight, with only the interval of dress- 
 ing and dinner ; nay, you often dine abroad, and are not at 
 home till sun-rise — do you call this nursing ? or can you, in 
 such a state of ferment, be a fit nurse tor your child ? — Let 
 me advise you — take your baby and set off for your pretty 
 villa iu Surry, and stay there till vou have done your duty.' 
 
 of 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. |Q5 
 
 of being repaid more than in kind, she announced 
 a ball and supper ; but a deep snow left her to the 
 solitary joys of her own magnificence ; and, like 
 all sensible persons who determine late in life to 
 be foolish, because they have never before had it 
 in their power, she, on the first discouragement, 
 gave up the attempt. 
 
 It was in vain that good Mr. Aubrey hinted at 
 her privileged situation, and the means it afforded 
 of purchasing the best feelings of the human heart : 
 — had he communicated the best method of having 
 a finer dress than any of her neighbors, and at 
 half the price, he might have won her attention ; 
 but ' to do good and to distribute,' was a taste not 
 implanted in her youth, and very very difficult of 
 attainment now, when, as she justly observed, she 
 had * a son to save for.' 
 
 Compelled as were the discordant pair to dwell 
 together, because there was, as yet, no motive for 
 their parting, their dislike to each other hourly in- 
 creased. The countess wondered she could throw 
 away herself and her money on a man who now 
 appeared to her only a prodigal and a coxcomb ; 
 and the earl regarded his lady as he would have 
 done a mis-shapen but productive fruit-tree, to^ 
 lerated in his garden only for its use. His judg- 
 ment, it must be confessed, was the more candid 
 and correct : her's of him was not just : he seemed, 
 to her, prodigal because he was generous, and a 
 coxcomb because he had the habits and attentions 
 of a man of rank, and fashion : in her manners he 
 missed — and he had no right to complain of the 
 
 deficiency 
 
$6 THE GOUNTE6S AND GERTRITBE, 
 
 defiGieney — all that belongs to birth and good- 
 breeding: she was often immoderate, never ele- 
 gant : she could not correct her passion for incon- 
 gf uous finery and cheap splendor : her name was 
 to be found as a certifier of the superiority of cheap 
 flambeaus, plated ware, and frugal substitutions 
 of all kinds ; it was in vain that Lord Luxmore 
 tried not to see the ridicule she excited, or to for- 
 get that he had married 3, woman of a narroi^- 
 mind and of nearly twice his age. 
 
 Jill his feelings were ascertained and were found 
 discouraging to the attempt, his friends were not 
 wanting in these reminiscejices : he could, indeed, 
 frown them down as they occurred ; but to pre- 
 vent the recurrence required, and improved him 
 in, habits of manly finnnesa : he was assured that 
 at tliirty, he must either bury his wife or shoot 
 Jiimself; and when peculiarly aggrieved, he would 
 retiirn thanks for the prospect of such an option. 
 'Jo shake his feelinas as a father, was a work of 
 liiO'i'c diffjculty: though called by whatever epi- 
 thets or cognomens imply old age, decrepitude 
 ajid the mockery of wisdom, here he was invulne- 
 rable : his boy was his consolation : no raillery 
 could diininisii I;is worth. 
 
 Nothing having arisen to give life and motion 
 .to these dispositions, the earl and countess ' got 
 o\\ vastly well, till it was time to think of London. 
 But wheii the journey was to be arranged, the flint 
 and steel shewed themselves in full power of exci- 
 tation : they could not nrake the day or the road 
 suit the affairs of both ; the countess chose vSuiv 
 I day. 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. g/ 
 
 day, and the shortest distance ; the earl thoufrht 
 Tuesday a better day, and was obliged ' by busi- 
 ness of importance' to make a circuit : he must 
 
 see his friend, Lord — , by the way ; he 
 
 should sleep at his house; and they probably 
 might travel to town together. Her ladyship 
 thought it very extraordinary that his lordship 
 should think of going there without her: Lady 
 
 —^ ■ had pressed her coming, and she could 
 
 not but think she had as good a right as any body 
 
 to go where she was invited. ' Lady 
 
 is not at home,' said the earl, with, perhaps, a 
 little unsteadiness of muscles ; for her ladyship 
 paused, and the conversation ceased. 
 
 Lord Luxmore's ' business' was in truth nothing 
 more nor less than the safe conveyance of his mis- 
 tress to London ; and to take her up caused ^ the 
 circuit' of his otherwise strait journey. The par^ 
 ties having discussed the matter, as long as they 
 saw good, said no more on the subject, till the 
 week previous to the time when it wa.s supposed 
 the countess meant to quit Lux more. At this pe- 
 riod the earl asked his wife this plain question, 
 ^ What do you mean to do with the boy ?' 
 
 ' Do v» ith him ?' repeated her ladyship, with 
 very natural surprise. 
 
 * Yes, do with him, Lady Luxmore, do I not 
 speak plain?' 
 
 * Why, in God's name, what should I do with 
 him ? — can't I take him with me ?' 
 
 * Yes, certainly, if I chuse it/ 
 
 * And if you do not,'— - 
 
 vol,. I. H *Why 
 
Sia THE COUNTESS AND Q^RTJIUDE. 
 
 * Wliy then he cannot go with you-— and to tell 
 you the truth. Lady Lux more, I do 7iot chuse that 
 he should go. If you take no more notice of liiin 
 in town, than you have done here — and I am sure 
 you w ill not — he is much better left to the care of 
 his nurses ; I shall speaJv to Mrs. Aubixy ; she 
 >vill, I dar€ say, attend to him ; and I will have 
 l;im remiOin liere till our return.' 
 
 Perhaps his lordsliip expected Lady Luxmore, 
 on this occasion, to shew herself a mother, and 
 forego, for the sake of her sweet infant, the amuse- 
 ments of a place to which she was no sti'anger ; 
 or, perhaps, he might think that, even if tlie qua- 
 lities for w hich he gave her full credit, operated 
 to the suppression of her natural feelings for a 
 time, still that so powerful a magnet would soon 
 draw her away from him, and rid him of her in- 
 convenient presence. 
 
 The reply convinced him that he was not yet 
 acquainted with the lady he had married. With 
 ja vociferous exclamation, she declared her total 
 unconcern in the decision. lie might do what he 
 would with the boy, provided he did not bury her 
 
 alive again in — shire. She doubted not Mrs. 
 
 Aubrey would look after Porta rgis ; and * she be- 
 lieved, on the whole, the country was best for all 
 children.' 
 
 Seven years' intimacy could not have done so 
 much towards enlightening the earl's. mind a^ this 
 sentence. His heart was very far from bad, but 
 he seldom had attended to its best suggestion. 
 Education, exaaiple, associates, and counsellors, 
 4 had 
 
TiiE COUNTESS ANt) &ERTRUDfe. gg 
 
 had made him, rather a man of the town than of 
 the world; but deliberate cruelty/ ever shocked 
 him ; and whenever his previous habits had not 
 interfered with his judgment, it was, on common 
 subjects, correct. He had seen ttie poor girl whom 
 he had deceived, in spite of all the corrupt princi- 
 ple he had found it necessary to infuse into her 
 mind, humane, and sympathising with every dis- 
 tress; she had lively affections, heightened by the 
 enthusiasm of her religious persuasion ; and, but 
 for him, they would still have been pure. As a 
 father, he was shocked at seeing iiimself out-done 
 in indifference by a mother ; for he was himsejf 
 very fairly convinced, that his infant was best 
 placed as he designed, and it was his conviction 
 that gave birth to his resolve ; but Lady Luxmore 
 was a woman as well as a parent ! this was her 
 only child ; and she could leave it to the care of 
 persons, comparatively strangers, or could at least 
 decide on it, without manifesting the smallest re- 
 luctance. He dismist the niatter from his thoughts, 
 by cursing himself for a fool in the delicacy he had 
 used towards her, and by resolving to err no more 
 in the same way. 
 
 Something, she best knew what, made her lady- 
 ship postpone her journey till the day after her 
 lord's departure, and in the short time of their re- 
 maining together, more bickering, more oblique 
 jnnt, and smart taunt occurred than usual. The 
 .^countess, after the conversation above mentioned, 
 had resorted to that ready listener, her own wo* 
 mm; and had detailed 'the earl's brutish beha- 
 
 H iii vior, 
 
100 THE COUN^TESS AND Gy.RTRUDE. 
 
 vior, with an accent and an impetuosity' that 
 shewed how acceptable would be an opportunity 
 of requiting it. IJer trusty dependant was not 
 Avanting in recollection of the ten thousand in- 
 stances in which ^ she must say, her ladyship had 
 put up with a great deal too nuich from liis lord- 
 ship ; but that was always the case ever since ^he 
 had known the world : those that zcould bear, 
 might bear, for any thing that unfeeling people 
 cared ; and so it was that her ladyship was made 
 to suffer. She must, indeed, speak her mind, 
 and say, she tlijught her ladyship a great deal too 
 submissive. She could not see anv sense in a wife's 
 obevins: an unreasonable husband : she was sure 
 it was not meant they should ; and she never saw- 
 any good come of it : — there was reason in roast- 
 ing of eggs, as well as good manners in eating 
 them ; and, to her way of thinking, though, to bfe 
 sure, she was no judge, if husbands expected la- 
 dies to oblige them, they ought to begin and set the 
 first example. There was the honorable Mrs. . 
 Sulphur, v/hom she had the pleasure of living with, 
 
 - before she came to her ladyship, and wlio gave 
 her that lace she wore on her morning-cap, which 
 probably her ladyship had observed, and which 
 costtuo guineas a yard ; when she first went to 
 live with her, she found her always crying and 
 miserable about Mr. Sulphur's temper; but she 
 soon put her to rights, and advised her to pluck 
 up a spirit: she took h.er advice, and disannulled 
 
 - all the crying, and after that, was very comibrtable \ 
 and a great deal more fashionable, and her lady-; 
 
 ship ^ 
 
THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 101 
 
 ship would find slie must do so too, or the lords 
 of the creation would soon become lords and mas- 
 ters indeed.' 
 
 The folly of setting fire to one's own barn, is not 
 greater than that of listening to the kind advice of 
 those who, like the natives of a dangerous coast, 
 look for their harvest in a storm. It is not to bc3 
 supposed that the class of persons maintained by 
 servitude can be in themselves, as a body, better or 
 worse than the rest of the world ; but thus much 
 may be fairly said, that if mistresses of families 
 will make their own passions their idols, they can 
 seldom hope for virtuous priestesses to serve the 
 altar. 
 
 Thus encouraged by one who often reminded 
 her principal of her condesceusion in serving. her, 
 I/ady Luxmore ha.d decided on being, as her wait- 
 ing-woman expressed it, * even with his lordship ;' 
 and this level was to be gained by making a visit 
 herself to the house where he had told her he should 
 sleep: she meant to be just in time to cross on him, 
 before he set oiTthe next day for London ; and she 
 doubted not, in that call, to fmd the lady of the 
 mansion at home, and disappointed in not having 
 seen her with the earl. 
 
 Each pursued thus their own separate plan. 
 The earl set out on his day, making the nurse and 
 child accompany him in his carriaj^fe to the extre- 
 mity of the park. We cannot bear liard on his 
 folly ; the child was awake, and in mor^ glee tlian 
 was his habitual state of animation : he had him in 
 his arms, and found it dilhcult to say his last 
 
 ' farewell ! 
 
1'02 THE COUXTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 * farewell ! my boy !'— a father did not know — how 
 should he know ?-r-that though the horses might 
 exhilarate him, the motion of the caniage they 
 drew, Avould set the dear little fellow to sleep ; but 
 he did not turn out his drowsy companion : he 
 substituted one pleasure for another ; and inno- 
 ceKtly, for it was ignorantly, hazarded giving the 
 baby cold, that he might gaze on it as it slept. 
 
 The countess having declared that she should 
 go by one road, and meaning to go by another, 
 prepared to set off very early the next morning : 
 her child was brought to her in her way to the car- 
 riage, when, shaking him violently by the hand 
 with ' Bow wow wow ! good bye, old fellow :' she 
 bade the head-nurse go to Mrs. Aubrey for what^ 
 e\^er she might want, and' l6ft Viscount Fortargis 
 tb enjoy the country airt 
 
 CHAP, 
 
 I 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 103 
 
 CfiAPTER VII. 
 
 A rencontre. The wife and mistress. Fatal effects of visiting 
 a picture-gallery. Deceit its O'lCn punishment. An example 
 of fortitude, IIoio to brcaP a bad connect ion, A deserted 
 lover. Hoxv to encourage xiftue m a husband. The compro- 
 mise. Peace and happiness. General Howitzers conjugal 
 good-breeding. 
 
 Taking post-horses after the^ first stage, Lady 
 Luxmore reached the mansion at which she meant 
 tJ make *a friendly call' about noon. Having seen 
 the place last in the height of summer, she was 
 surprised, on entering the park, to find the trees 
 \vithout leaves : she drove up to the house : an old 
 servant came to the hall- door : the family were 
 gone to London. This was grievous indeed ! 
 
 'Had not 3'Our ladyship better walk into the 
 house,' said the waiting- woman, who accompanied 
 her lady in the carriage, and who began to want 
 something comfortable. * I dare say the house- 
 keeper could let your la'ship into one of the rooms, 
 ■while the horses are changed : and really it is bet- 
 ter than sitting starving in the carriage here.' 
 
 This was not absurd, as the inn was near; and 
 !Mrs. Tagg having first secured a place for herself 
 at the housekeeper's fire, and bespoken a drop of 
 
 hot 
 
104 THE COUNTESS AND GEllTRUDE, , 
 
 hot elder ^vine, got permission for her lady to sit iu 
 one of the cold apartments, and returned to tell 
 how ^vell she had sped. 
 
 The countess, not knowing what was to be her 
 portion of comfort, was following the man in 
 liopes of seeing a fire, when he, turning round as 
 he preceded her, asked if she would not please, as 
 the rooms were all too cold to sit down in, to see 
 the pictures. Of two evils chusing the less, she 
 suffered him to escort her to a farther room, where 
 was the housekee[)cr with a party ; and her atten- 
 tion was arrested by seeing the back of a young 
 man, on whose shoulder was leaning, in an agony 
 of tears, as young a woman. She heard, accom-^ 
 panied with convulsive sobs, these words : ^ 1 car^^ 
 not bear it ; these pictures all reproach me : I see 
 nothing but penitents, and Him who died for pe- 
 nitents. O 1 Jesu ! O ! Maria! I am, indeed, a pe- 
 nitent : let me — O \ let me, my lord, go home to 
 iny father : I will bear any thing : O ! pray, pray V 
 No notice was bestowed on the lady who had just 
 entered, and whose feet seemed nailed to the floor 
 w ith vacant wonder ; the housekeeper was wiping 
 her eyes : and the gentleman was, in the kindest and 
 most soothing manner, while he prest the young 
 creature to his bosom, endeavoriPfg to stop and to 
 comfort her. Lady Luxmore advanced two steps : 
 the housekeeper peixeived her : her looks made 
 the gentleman turn his head : he exclaimed, ' La- 
 dy Luxmore! by heaven!' and the young woman 
 jbe was supporting, caught hold on him, ^nd then 
 
 sunl^ 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 105 
 
 flunk down on the floor. The groupe would have 
 made a picture. 
 
 The countess was going to speak : her husband, 
 stretching out his hand in a forbidding attitude, 
 and shaking his head, as if it was no time for him 
 to listen, looked on the motionless body at his 
 feet : he then assisted the man who had ushered 
 iqi Lady Lux more, to place the young womaa 
 a2;ainst the chairs on the side of the room. A 
 maid-servant was called, and sent for some harts- 
 horn, while the injured and insulted wife sat at a 
 distance, with her unofFered smelling salts at her 
 nose, to observe what passed, and to take care of 
 her own dignity : the earl, in the mean time, as if 
 unconscious of her restraining presence, knelt by 
 tlie livid fair one, and with the tenderest appella- 
 tion, of ' my dearest Mary' — ' my love' — ' my life' 
 endeavored to recall her to existence. In a few 
 mmutes, the young woman sighed, opened her 
 eyes, and, in the humblest manner thanking those 
 around her for their kindness, requested, for mer- 
 cy's sake, to be taken out of the room. 
 
 The story tells itself. The rencontre would not 
 have happcaied, had not the earl om.itted in his cal- 
 culations for the journey, the possibility of his 
 wife's revenging the affront put on her by his chus- 
 ing to make a visit without her: he had attempted 
 to deceive : he had departed from the truth : he 
 had not slept at tlio house, nor did he expect to find 
 his friend at it ; but he had intended to treat Mary 
 with a sight of the very fine collection of pictures 
 fhcrc, and not haviqg yet learnt that in painting 
 
 any 
 
106 TH^ (50U'J^WSS AND GIl'RTROdE. 
 
 arty thing tiiorie than the fame of the artist, the 
 coloring, the keeping, the handling, and the price 
 were objects, he did not know that a susceptible 
 imagination, heightened by a profession of religion 
 not yet sunk' into forms, and an ardency of lovo 
 not yet schooled into wisdom, might regard repre- 
 sentations as realities, and feel living accusers in 
 the works of Raffaelle, the Caracci, and Carlo 
 Dolce. 
 
 In removing Mary, it was necessary to carry" 
 her near Lady Luxmore's feet. Her ladyship 
 drew away her garments, and with a shriek, indi- 
 cating great terror, watched her rival out of sight. 
 So ended the scene, which might have made little 
 change in the relative situations of the respective 
 personages, had the fainting girl suffered Lord 
 Luxmore to attend her out of the room ; but 
 though relapsing into a death-like aspect, she 
 roused herself to forbid it with her hand and her 
 eyes ; and there seemed a control about Mary, 
 which his lordship was not used to disobey. 
 
 For a few minutes he wavered, not between the 
 claims and the claimants on his affections, but 
 between the option of running away from the cloud 
 that threatened him on the brow of his lady, or 
 facing the coming storm. Muttering to himself, 
 * Better have it out,' he put on his hat, crossed 
 his arms, and standing before her, asked if she had 
 any thing to say to him : she was beginning to re- 
 ply ; but her natural eloquence not being great, 
 she gave him opportunities of interrupting her. 
 lie stopped her short, with * Well !' Lady Luxmore, 
 
 I know 
 
th:^ countess and Gertrude. 107 
 
 I know all that you can say : I know I am wrong, 
 as well as you can do : I will tell you the plain 
 truth : I loved Mary before ever I thought on you : 
 I was too poor to marry her ; and so I married 
 you. It does not, in my opinion, become such a 
 mother as you have sh^wn yourself, to reproach 
 tne with any failure of duty : I do no more than 
 fifty others I could name, do, and no more, I am 
 sure, than any one, in iny situation, would do : 
 I shall not give up Mary to please you; but I give 
 you my honor that you shall always mefet with re- 
 spect from me, if you will forbear making an up- 
 roar. If you chuoO, however, to be violent, I 
 have no objection; you shall have a proper allow- 
 ance, and we part.' He ceased, and walked up 
 and down, waiting an ansAver. Not a word came ; 
 he stopt: he asked * what he was to think.' — 
 ' Think?' replied her ladyship; ' why, that I am 
 a great fool.' ^ Agreed,' said his lordship, bow- 
 ing, and went out of the room to seek Mary» 
 
 The countesS; left without a Cicerone, now^ be- 
 gan to look at the pictures : she gazed at those sub-- 
 jects which had struck the mind of Mary; but she 
 was neither a catholic nor a penitent : she thought, 
 indeed, some of them were ' very handsome,' but of 
 the merit of any thing she stared at, or the connexion 
 of the w hole, or any part of it, with Mary's faint- 
 ing and distress, she could discover nothing. The 
 tempestuous silence of her own mind; kept her in- 
 sensible to all that was passing at a little distancie 
 from her. She heard not her frantic lord calling 
 for Mary, raving at tl^e servants, or giving con» 
 
 tradictory 
 
108 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 tradictory orders in the same breath. To all hi» 
 questions, he could obtain but one answer : * The 
 lady left the house, my lord, the instant she came 
 out of the room : there happened to be a returned 
 post-chaise going from the door, and she got 
 into it, and drove off as fast as possible.' Every 
 subsequent query was replied to by, * Don't know 
 — can't say, my Lord.' In a fury, he quitted the 
 house, with the hope of seeing which road the 
 chaise had taken : his own carriage was at the 
 inn near the park-gate, and he sent a man to or- 
 der it up immediately : he returned not to take 
 leave of his countess, but merging his carriage be- 
 fore he had received any satisfaction as to the road 
 the other had taken, he hoped he was following it 
 by taking that towards the town, near which lived 
 the severe, yet negligent father of Mary. — That 
 he enquired in vain for her at her home ; that he 
 found her not in the neighborhood; that he waited 
 there all the next day to no purpose, may be attri- 
 buted to the charity of the housekeeper at • 
 
 who, had listened to Mary's story with pity for her 
 parents, and had encouraged her seU-denying re- 
 solutions by secreting her. 
 
 The countess, for whose exasperated feelings 
 some allowance must be made at such a moment, 
 not knowing what was best to be done, and not 
 having yet called her prjvy-counsellor, ^Irs. Tagg, 
 to assist in the debate, was half inclined to get 
 back with all possible expedition to Luxmore ; but 
 her fortitude shrunk from the trial.of a spring out 
 pf Ix)ndon. Arrangements, she concluded; myst 
 
 be 
 
THE COUNTESS ANl) GERTRUDE. 10$ 
 
 be made for a separation ; and she would have 
 liked ' a little talk' with Mrs. Aubrey on the sub- 
 ject of her griefs and grievances ; but, on the whole, 
 she believed it was better to go to London ; and 
 thither, therefore, she betook herself with all ex- 
 pedition.' Her house, which was situate in the 
 north-west extremity of the town, was ready for 
 her reception ; but day after day passed, and the 
 earl arrived not. 
 
 More than a week he spent in a fruitless search; 
 and at length, wearied with disappointment, and 
 seeing nothing probable but the necessity of Mary's 
 soon writing to him, he hastened home, got to his 
 house about three o'clock in a moonlight morning, 
 threw himself on the couch in his dressing-room, 
 and about noon next day, sent up a message to 
 her ladyship, intimating that he was ^ coming to 
 have a little conversation with her.' 
 
 As she had at this moment the advantage, and 
 it was a rare possession, she did not know exactly 
 how to use it. She was reading a letter, which had 
 been sent to her inclosed in another ; and she 
 scarcely raised her eyes from the paper, when the 
 earl, never less anxious about her humor or his re- 
 ception, entered the room. 
 
 He threw, himself on a chair, leant one arm over 
 the back of it, and reclined his forehead on his hand. 
 • From this posture of distracted contemplation, 
 which admitted no thought but of Mary, he was 
 startled by her ladyship's holding out, by one cor- 
 ner, the letter she had been reading, with a delicate 
 invitation to look at it, conveyed in the words, 
 
 ' A let- 
 
110 THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRtJi>E. 
 
 * A letter from your strumpet, Lord Luxmore.^ 
 ^ Thou devil !' were the only words his lordship 
 could stop to utter : he snatched the letter, and 
 quitted his wife, to read the reproaches he doubted 
 pot he sliould meet. He endeavoured to command 
 his feelings ; it w^as a novel experiment, but he 
 succeeded so far as to comprehend these sen- 
 tences. 
 
 ' When your lordship finds I have inclosed this 
 in a letter to Lady Lux more, I am fearful you will 
 think it rather dictated by my wish to appear can^ 
 did than by my sincerity, but if I know myself, I 
 am not to be moved by any thing this world can 
 threaten or offer : I therefore request the credit I 
 feel I deserve. I am no longer the weak, the en* 
 thusiastic creature I was: I am an altered being. 
 
 * Why I tore myself from you at — , I need 
 
 not explain. What were my motives, I am per- 
 jsuaded you know. You are not ignorant that ;! 
 jhave always been unhappy, or that, howev€r un- 
 grateful it seems in me to urge it, your lordship's 
 Jcindness has never been able to render me insen- 
 .sible to the criminality of our connection. That I 
 \vas at first deceived, might be some excuse for 
 me; that I would not undeceive myself admits of 
 no excuse. Lwill not reproach .you : I will rather 
 confess that it has (Cost me almost my life to sepa- 
 rate from you: but separated I now am., and it 
 would cost me more to return to you. 
 
 ^ I remained under the kind protection of the 
 ,hpusek,eeper at i ■; till I hoped you had , given 
 
THE COUNTESS AJND G£RTRU1>E. 1 M 
 
 up all pursuit of me : I then went to my fathers : 
 I cannot tell you what I suffered wken he disowned 
 all knowledge of me : he would not allow me to 
 
 «nter his cottage. 1 then went to Mrs. J 's, in 
 
 the faint hope that I might meet with less severity : 
 my kind benefactress condescended to receive me 
 with tears, and with reproaches of herself for hav- 
 ino; indulored her tenderness in educating me above 
 my situation in life : she allowed me to remain 
 with her, and her actions have corresponded with 
 the reception I found. She has told my story, 
 and pleaded my good resolutions, to a Swiss lady, 
 of her own church, now on a visit to her, and who 
 is, in a short time, to return to her native country. 
 I go with her as her humble attendant; and what I 
 have seen and heard of her, convinces me I shall, 
 with her, be as little miserable as I can hope 
 to be. 
 
 * I do not wish to interest your lordship's feel- 
 ings. I would have you recollect, that we have 
 both deviated most grievously and unpardpnably 
 from our duty ; and if you hate me far having, 
 however unintentionall}^, drawn you into error, I 
 must own you just : but }^t I cannot submit to 
 .appear ungrateful; nor can I part from you without 
 acknowledging your uniform Hbei'ality and kind- 
 ness. Might I presume to advise, I would request 
 3^our lordship to think on this matter as I do, and 
 to consider, if such have been my feelings when no^ 
 thing was subtracted from my enjoyments, what 
 may be your's on the brink of eternity. I can 
 only say, JL have seen my danger, and retreated : 
 
 may 
 
ll!2 TJIE COUNTESS AND ^'EUTllVtit, 
 
 may you profit by seeing what is possible ! — I havd 
 sent a parcel to your banker's, and I hope you will 
 find every thing in pi'oper order at the house iri 
 town. You will, I am sure, be kind in dismissing 
 the poor servants. Tell them what I have done; 
 and that I am happy : the assurance and the ex* 
 ample may, I hope, in some measure atone for 
 the wretched pattern they have had in her who 
 ought to have tau<]^ht them better. — Farewell : for- 
 get me/ 
 
 His lordship having shed over this letter more 
 tears than the deaths of all his relations had ever 
 cost him, rang for a servant, and sent up to Lady 
 Luxmore a demand, which it is to be supposed, was, 
 in its passage softened into a request, of the letter 
 inclosing that he had read. It came : it was a very 
 humble supplication for pardon : it wished her la- 
 dyship all iiappiness, and took a respectful leave. 
 
 The song of the Syrens would not at any time 
 hp.ve caught the attention of Lady Luxmore. It is, 
 therefore, not incredible that she should toss the 
 letter from her, wlien she had perused it, with na 
 other comment on it, than — ' stuff— cant' — or that 
 she should be at a loss for a reason why she 
 should detain it, when her husband sent for it. Shie 
 
 * Never knew nor sougKt to know 
 
 * Of faith sincere the grateful glow, 
 
 * But read in misery's tearful eye, 
 
 * The well dissembled tale of smooth hypocrisy/ 
 
 The diction of the palinode, a-dded to the earFs 
 
 esteem 
 
THE COUKTBSS AKD GERTRUDE. 113 
 
 esteem for her whom it forhade him to love ; and 
 he shut himself up for the rest of the day, to pon- 
 der on this untoward ly virtuous abdication. Hav- 
 ing indulged his grief till he began to feel ashamed 
 of it, he tried to find something to resent; but 
 j\[ary had left him no cause for resentment, and 
 this conviction again overwhelmed him. He next 
 tried to applaud and to concur; but he was too 
 deeply wounded, and too much stunned to feel 
 any possible good in the infliction. He could only 
 judge that he was very miserable, that he had lost 
 JNIary, and that without her the world was a desert: 
 her delicate sentiment and tender conscience he 
 could not assume, but his mortification gave effi- 
 cacy to her advice, and rashly vowing, for the sake 
 of her humble virtues and his lady's contrary en- 
 dowments, that he would never have any thing 
 more to say to the female part of the creation, 
 he found himself, in a few days, almost involunta- 
 rily improved in the theory, or at least in the prac- 
 tice, of morals. 
 
 Feeling it daily more difficult to bring himself to 
 another personal interview with his countess, he 
 attempted to arrange some plan of accommodation, 
 through a written medium; but he must have for- 
 gotten, at the moment, the effusions of her pen^ 
 
 during her solitary residence in shire ; or he 
 
 never could have expected her to reason on papei/. 
 Havino; tried in vain, she was driven to the neces- 
 sity of saying he might see her ; and they accord- 
 ingly breakfasted together the next morning. The 
 one party had nothing now to renounce : the other 
 if VOL. I. I had 
 
/14 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 had nothing to demand. For mutual ease, mutual 
 forgiveness was exchano:ed. Lord Luxmore was 
 to be treated as a well-bred husband; Lady Lux- 
 inore was not to be considered as a froward wife 
 or a negligent mother: that is to say, they were to 
 connive at each others' past faults : consequently, 
 the only effect produced on the mind, would be the 
 abatement of the moral sense. Let no such com- 
 iiiutation be mistaken for Christian forbearance. 
 
 The time of year, and its modes of life were fa- 
 vorable to the preservation of good humour: his 
 lordship had hh bear-parties iov high eating; her 
 ladyship her routs for high play. At the former 
 she might have been treated with a little unpleasant 
 freedom, had not her husband been well-bred ; and 
 had she not been protected by that jealousy 
 IN liich we all feel for our own creations and adop- 
 tions. Had *a parent compelled Lord Luxmore 
 to take such a wife, he might, and with some rea- 
 son, have protested against the choice, and might 
 have appealed to his friends; but there are few 
 husbands, it is to be hoped, like General Howitzer, 
 vho, with terms of pity, such as ' the old wretch,' 
 and ' the crippled devil,' amuse a company by the 
 detail of his ancient spouse's decrepitudes; and the 
 purse-bearer who is liable to be caricatured is ge- 
 nerally the bearer of an empty one. With regard to 
 the earl, whatever was the sentiment indulged in 
 solitude, it would have been denied in society, and 
 the bottle would have been pushed at the first wink 
 of inebriate raillery. 
 
 Lady Luxmore had nothing of this to endure : 
 i the 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. Il5 
 
 the Stare and the laugh had been long over, and 
 the propriety of the earl's behavior discouraged 
 even pert misses from being witty : he now wanted 
 but little of twenty years of age; and heiu^ ex- 
 tremely admired for his person, his dancing, his 
 great good humor, his taste in carriages, and the 
 elegance with which he drest, and spoke French, 
 the applause of the world instructed her ladyship's 
 feelings, and she smiled beyond her usual grace of 
 smiling, when congratulated by her young friends 
 on her felicity in being united to so charming a 
 man. Somewhat deeper was the feeling of a few- 
 married ladies, who in silence envied a union where 
 the parties knew so little of each other, yet still 
 drew together, like their carriage-horses, with per- 
 haps less affection, but of similar importance aad 
 accommodation to each other. 
 
 1 2 CHAP. 
 
l\6 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 CHAPTER VIIL 
 
 T/ie strenuom imhcciUties of the idle, A 'party xvojnan, Ancc-. 
 " dote tif George Selzci/n. Pride of ancestri/. Anecdote qf 
 
 . the Duchess of Q . A mbmterud mnn, Jf'cuit of 
 
 ; discretion sometimes mistaken for parsimony. How to try a 
 
 tradesman's patience. Anecdote of Lady . Run^ 
 
 nwr niter the royal family. A sensible aunt, Bath, A 
 succession of pursuits. A library-maker. Anecdotes. Booh- 
 ^ sellers' shops. 
 
 The winter was spent in London, in the way 
 practised by persons of wealth and rank and unoc- 
 cupied minds, with just as much variation as the 
 exhaustion of tried pleasures, and the pursuit of 
 those remaining untried, af!brds. It is so easy to 
 be idle in London, and yet never at leisure, that 
 we need not give lessons on the subject. The sort 
 of life resulting from this strenuous imbecility, 
 suited Lady Luxmore very tolerably, as the differ- 
 ent paths into which it led her and her lord, al- 
 lowed her to display her greatness without fear 
 of his better-bred eye, and to mortify, in her own 
 way, fools less fortunate. Every birlh-day was a 
 new epoch in her existence; and seldom could she 
 forego even the less brilliant court-days, till a hint 
 reached her that she was thought to pay her duty 
 too often. She then desisted altogether from her 
 
 3 visits 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE; 117 
 
 visits to St. James's *, commenced politician, and 
 grew most wisely democratical, repaying to her- 
 self in the outcry against royalty and its appen- 
 dages, the reproof she had drawn on herself by 
 the want of that quality which can rarely be learnt 
 — * Moderation.' The vacuity left in her mind, 
 she fitted up by a set of not less agreeable, but 
 still narrower littlenesses, and added one to the 
 number of those who fancy themselves public 
 spirited, when they are only avenging private sel- 
 fishness f. In her motives, and the conduct sub- 
 sequent on them, she found a large party of abet- 
 tors : the discontented are numerous: the selfish 
 not fewer. 
 
 Lady Luxmore, by this adoption, we will not' 
 say change, improved extremely her situation in 
 society. The old nobility, those who, as their co- 
 
 * It was not our countess who excited the late George 
 Selwin'b wit, when he said to a friend in the drawing-room, 
 on the approach of a lady of rank peculiar in her appear- 
 ance, 
 
 * Speak to it, Horatio.' 
 
 Lady Luxmore, always on great occasions, colored. 
 
 f Nut presuming to give any farther opinion on the subject 
 of politics than to recommend the noble virtue of loyalty, we 
 will not make use of the opportunities afforded us by our 
 connections, of now and then discovering real motives, where 
 those ostensible were widely different. We will refer for an 
 instance of what we hint at, to the reply of a critic, ' now 
 to the dust gone down,' who being asked, why he had been 
 severe on a work not deserving severity, replied, * Why did 
 the author say any thing against Sterne .?' The critic was a 
 dealer in copy-right. 
 
 ronet 
 
118 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 ronet was worn by the wise or the unwise, hacj 
 made or marred kings and princes, had nqt 
 sought the society, even of the earl. Their neigh- 
 bor, old Mrs. Wapshote, retaining nothing but 
 her name, of all the good things derived from a 
 Saxon ancestry, had refused to mount her taxed 
 cart to make her ladyship a visit at Luxmore. The 
 De Anythings, said the cross old woman, are fitter ; 
 to visit such mushrooms : they came in with the 
 Norman ; 7ny family was in its decay when the 
 Norman families began to flourish. The old Du- 
 chess of Q 's question, when one of the H— 
 
 family was ennobled. What does this fellow mean 
 by powdering himself with the dust of my ances- 
 tors? was haidly better. 
 
 But the party Lady Luxmore now joined, was 
 willing to forego personal distinctions for the sake 
 of numbers ; and she was to be seen on the mob- 
 side of every question, and in the gala of an elec- 
 tion, decked, she knew not, poor woman f why, 
 with the colors that declared her not so much at 
 enmity with * the government' as with govern- 
 ment. Like the barrow-woman, who when 45 wa$; 
 a favorite number, thought five and forty its syno* 
 nym, and chalked 54 on her vehicle. 
 
 Not at all wiser or more principled was her 
 lord, in taking the opposite side of the question. 
 As yet, indeed, he had no power, but that which 
 the influence of his rank gave him ; and needing 
 nothing, he had no incentive to exert himself, other- 
 wise than to support conversation ; but his early 
 
 marriagQ 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 11^ 
 
 marriage had produced an effect we should be 
 happy to see oftener: it had given him a charac^ 
 ter to wear, and though it was sometimes a little 
 ludicrous to the grave, to see him ' aftect to nod/ 
 yet the error was on the right side ; and if his 
 principle of ' supporting ministers,' which was a 
 measure on which, he said, he was * at all events' 
 resolved, had not been traced up to the funded 
 condition of his wife's property, he might have 
 been listened to, and contradicted occasionally, in 
 his unqualified praise of all that every body in 
 the service of government did : every appoint- 
 ment was for the salvation of the country; and for 
 every loss by sea or land he found a palliative-—' 
 they, his lordship best knew who, were all fine 
 fdlows, and should ever be sure of his vote on all 
 occasions. 
 
 But the appreciation of the earl and his lady in 
 their several circles, was not similar : his lordship 
 was prudent enough to know the value of easy 
 circumstances; and though, thanks to Miss 
 Toms's half-uncle, due care was taken of her pro- 
 perty, and till he was of age he could not enter on 
 the full possession of what he had so dearly pur- 
 chased, he was equally prudent and liberal : he 
 spent his money well, and gained the esteem con- 
 sequent on this branch of wisdom, while his wife 
 enquiring in all cases of expeuce what other ' peo- 
 ple of quality did,' and then trying to discover how 
 little she might do, made herself unpopular on 
 every occasion that called for liberality, and was 
 
 con- 
 
120 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 considered as the pest of every shop she dealt 
 at*. 
 
 In a few months after this system of peace, and 
 
 oblivion 
 
 ♦ We have some charity for persons r,uspcctcd of a disiiw 
 clinauon to part from money, because we are convinced that 
 the character is as often gained by want of discretion, as by 
 want of liberality. Many arc the inslauces of noble actions 
 done with pleasure, by those who seem to delight in the mean^ 
 est arts of saving money. In many cases, forty shillings a- 
 year wouhi purchase a good name ; and a saving of no greater 
 stamps us with a bad one. But we have no mercy for persons 
 who, after makinji tradesmen wait for their money, turn 
 them off for daring to ask for it, nor for those who exercise 
 the pitiful arts of making and breaking agreements, as they 
 can tint! most conducive to their interest : A gentleman should 
 be a oenth man to his butcher and his baker ; and a woman 
 of rank should never condescend to try the patience of a 
 shopkeeper as we have seen it tried. We will give the anec- 
 dote, only presuming that there is no service we are ever 
 called to * so hot' as that of shopping with our friends who 
 want every thing and buy nothing. 
 
 Being at one of the best shops in street, on the 
 
 eve of a public mourning, we saw a carriage drive up with 
 the blazonry of two of the best families in England. Two 
 elderly ladies alighted; they wanted dresses; they thought 
 they should like velvet ; what was the best a yard ? it was 
 spread before them; they thought silk velvet unnecessary; 
 cotton velvet would do; cotton velvet was reached: they did 
 not know whether bombazine would not suit them better: 
 here now was fine amusement; for bombazines are to be had 
 of all prices and textures ; a dozen were handed to them. 
 On the whole, they believed a cottage-stuff would wear best, 
 and they heard they were to be had for two shillings a 
 yard : they would call again when they had decided. — 
 They then looked at some gloves; asked how much a black 
 fan would * come to/ enquired whether the^ sold in that 
 
 shop 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. }21 
 
 oblivion had been entered on, Lady Luxniore, most 
 wisely, as she bad before her the stupendous task 
 of weaning a very young man from a vice, and en- 
 couraging him under a painful renunciation, as- 
 serted her independence by taking a villa near 
 London, to which she retired, if retirement it 
 could be called, in the beginning of the summer, 
 for two or three days of every week, to give enter- 
 tainments to her acquaintance ' in a rural style.' 
 She then, notwithstanding her antipathy to royalty, 
 thought it necessary to ibllow ' the family' in their 
 removes from London to Windsor, and from 
 Windsor to Weymouth ; and having convinced 
 herself that they really did talk much in the man- 
 ner of other well bred personages, and almost 
 beginning to suspect that, when away from St. 
 James's, they might have some little claim to 
 heads and hearts, she might have grown loyal, had 
 she been noticed to her satisfaction ; but seeing 
 their condescensions bestowed on tiiose who, to 
 her knowledge, had not ^ brought half her fortune,' 
 she thought it more consistent to rail at ^ etiquette;' 
 and in the autumn, when she knew it was not 
 * style' to be seen, she betook herself to Lux more, 
 where the earl joined her, and they might have 
 preserved their neutrality uninjured, had not they 
 
 shop black ribbons, * and all sorts of things ;* took a half- 
 crown article, and got into their carriage. 
 
 We have neither * extenuated' nor ' s^^t down in malice ;* 
 we give the scene strictly as it passed ; and we could give the 
 xjame ; but 
 
 Jvow, let us not talk of the insolence of tradesmen. 
 
 disagreed 
 
122 THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 
 
 disagreed on that important question, the manage- 
 ment of Viscount Portargis now near a year old; 
 but so admirably stable was the arrangement they 
 had made for their mutual quiet, that the dissen^ 
 sion produced no convulsion : ttiey only forbore 
 meeting as much as possible, and speaking entire- 
 ly, and thus lived on in perfect harmony, till his 
 lordship began to find his friends shy of his house, 
 and suspected that something was wanting to the 
 comfort of such as, in his now improving habits, 
 she should most have wished to draw towards 
 him. 
 
 Made uneasy by the admission of this idea, he 
 went to town when town had no attraction, because 
 he felt ennui more painful in every other place. 
 Whatever were his natural inclinations, he had 
 lately, and particularly since the birth of his son, 
 picked up a taste for domestic life, and had been 
 encouraged in it by an excellent aunt, who, not- 
 •withstanding she was at the middle age of life, and 
 a single woman, was a great favourite with him, 
 and very much disposed to rejoice in seeing others 
 happy. He had made no secret to her of the no- 
 comforts of his house, though he did not reveal all 
 the causes for the abatement of his chearfulness ; 
 and her advice to him had been judicious : Lady 
 Mary had kept at a civil distance from the coun- 
 tess, as the only probable means of remaining civil ; 
 and when his lordship had run down by stealth, as 
 he chose to do once in a fortnight, to see his boy, 
 he had pleasure in reporting to this good aunt the 
 progress he saw or fancied in his son : he now 
 
 sought 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 125 
 
 SGuglit again this comforter. * Nature, my dear 
 nephew/ said Lady J\Iary, * gave you, I should 
 suspect, a taste for female society and domestic 
 comfort: the inclination has never been fairly met: 
 you have, by your own choice, of which you must 
 make the best you can, exposed it to repulsion, 
 and it now ceases to exist in any other form than 
 that negative one which makes every thing unpa- 
 latable. Had you married more discreetly, with 
 this enjoyment, all other pleasures might have been 
 enjoyed : the duties of active life, and even the in- 
 sipidities of artificial life, would have found a zest 
 in the contrasted satisfaction which suspends them: 
 a wife of a good temper and agreeable attainments 
 would have made the return home your best pros- 
 pect in absence : but without this, your amuse- 
 ments are bounded by an horizon you are perpetun 
 ally touching ; and, experience proving their satiet3% 
 you try to escape an inevitable weariness by shun^ 
 fiing repose.' 
 
 Lady Alary, in this conversation, meant well, 
 and acted not ill. She was of our opinion, that 
 to assist a friend to bear an evil, it is not the best 
 way to deny its existence, or to conceal its import- 
 ance : but she found her auditor very much like 
 his - fellow-creatures : he took his own part ; de- 
 fended his marriage, and wished his aunt good 
 
 Oiornmg. 
 
 The countess's autumn afforded happier suc- 
 cessions than his lordship's. When wearied of 
 Luxmore, which, notwithstanding her still exist- 
 
 ing 
 
124 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 ing respect for ^Ir. Aubrey, her friendship, or rather 
 fondness for his wife, to say notliing of poor little 
 Portargis, happened in very good time for a six 
 weeks' visit to Bath, she retired thither, took a house 
 there, made friendships, drank tiie water on bad 
 days, as an excuse for taking out men and horses; 
 and by the assistance of Monday's dress ball, 
 Wednesday's concert, Thursday's cotillion ball, the 
 play, and tlie motley crouds assembled at the 
 houses of great reception^ she got through this 
 period * very fairly' in a place of which scarce 
 two persons give the same account, so admirably 
 does it adapt itself to the wishes of all its visitors. 
 To her ladyship it was particularly recommended 
 as a delightful place, because a peeress is, to all 
 intents an3 purposes, a peeress, at the upper end 
 of the ball-room, and because it is very easy to 
 live there without having an hour's quiet in the 
 course of a day; and she would not have believed 
 us had we told her we found it the seat of much 
 rational goodness, as well as of weak fanaticism, 
 of great talents as well as the most despicable fri- 
 volity, and the most serious folly. The w orld, and 
 nearly every thing we touch in it, is what we make 
 it ; and Bath is a medicine or a poison as we use 
 it; but certainly if inhabitants can reflect lustre 
 on a place of residence, it may boast the honor 
 conferred by female virtues and talents, which are 
 there drawn into a focus that affords the pleasant- 
 est means of contemplating that which it is always 
 pleasant to contemplate, the beneficence of the 
 Creator in his donation of intellect, accepted w ith 
 
 humility. 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 1^5 
 
 Isumility, and improved by every mean he allows 
 us. 
 
 When it was time to quit Bath, it was time to 
 come to London : people of rank were ' congre- 
 gating,' and Lady Luxmore must bo in town on a 
 day fixed. This pattern, for getting through the 
 signs of the zodiac, succeeding so well, served, with 
 only the substitution of the gay coast for * filthy 
 Luxmore/ for the two following revolutions of the 
 earth on its axis ; and she flattered herself she now 
 did exactly * like other people of rank.' 
 
 But to the earl, not bloated with vulgarities, life 
 in the shape he assigned it, was, even in London, a 
 burden. The void INIary's fortitude had left in his 
 affections, was not filled up: he now habitually 
 turned from his wife ^vith a feeling little short of 
 hatred, consequently, whenever he was at home, 
 and without company, he was given over in si- 
 lence and solitude to intruding reflections and un- 
 profitable regrets. He wished he had not quitted 
 the army; but he was not willing, by purchasing 
 again, to confess his disappointed views : he would 
 have tried drinking ; but the habit in him was ne- 
 ver strong, and Mary had so restrained him, that 
 it was become unpleasant to him : spiri;ed play 
 ^vas the resource of many under like circumstances; 
 but though he was now in the full possession of all 
 that he could ex})ect from his marriage, and in a 
 state of no common pecuniary ease, his lady's re- 
 lation, Mr. Sterling,^ had, when unable to prevent 
 the marriage, fettered hioi, as if his present rumi- 
 nation had been foreseen : he could not, therefore, 
 
 take 
 
1^6 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDfe. 
 
 take the scope his pride would have demanded, iri 
 en^asinsc with those, neither inciunbered with 
 principles nor manacled by settlements : he tried 
 an assiduous attendance in the house, of which he 
 was a raw member, and felt himself improve in 
 this school of the aristocracy ; but the house of 
 lords was not sitting all day nor all the year, and 
 sometimes he was wearied with listening to that in 
 which he could have none but a silent interest : he 
 tried all the clubs ; even the chess-club, and for 
 some weeks * check-mat, stalemat,' and all that 
 succeeds to 
 
 * Alba tenet dextram, servat Regina colorem' 
 
 occupied and nerved his mind : he stopt in the 
 street his friends of similar pursuir, or his antago- 
 nist of the last evening, to discuss the manner in 
 which a catastrophe might have been varied ; and 
 the hope of celebrity in an elegant amusement, 
 and which certainly tends to strengthen the acu- 
 men of the human intellect, and to teach circum- 
 spection, repaid his vigils of perplexing and haunt- 
 ing images. Weary, however, in a short time, 
 'Of a species of relaxation more fatiguing, when 
 carried to excess, than nx)st laborious callings, he 
 tried to improve his taste for billiards, which 
 brought the additional recommendation of ele«[ant 
 and healthful exercise, but this too was factitious, 
 and had its inconveniences : it associated him with 
 and attracted to him, men not always agreeable ; 
 and having had a point in which he thought himself 
 indisputably right, decided against him, his artifi- 
 cial 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 127 
 
 cial predilection changed into sore remembrance 
 of mortification, and enforced more quickly and 
 clamorously than any of its discarded predecessors, 
 the necessity of some new toy. To this succeeded 
 all that could be effected by the purchase and sale 
 of horses, and the bespeaking and countermanding 
 carriages ; but here Mary's taste was recollected ; 
 and a little ridicule which her plain sense — O ! that 
 it had never lost its characteristic ! had bestowed 
 on such childish caprice, burst on his memory 
 in the very act of folly, and excited sensations 
 so painful, that he gladly paid some scores of 
 guineas to be rid of a contract which he knew sh^ 
 would have thought a very silly business. 
 
 Agriculture, botany, a turning-lathe, and the 
 collection and dispersion of pictures, in rotation, 
 took their seasons, budded, blossomed, and de- 
 cayed. In the first, he had proceeded so far as 
 to invite the gentlemen around his estate to see, on 
 his land, the competition between two pieces of 
 mechanism, which united in themselves all the 
 advantages of broad-cast and dibbling , and had 
 shewn ' a capital wether' at an agricultural dinner. 
 In botany, he had not indeed arrived at the honor 
 of seeing the reward of his researches, in the im- 
 portation aiul baptism pf a Luxmor'ia, but he had 
 ascertained with exactitude, that a parcel of the 
 seed of ' Reseda odorata,' either by the fault of 
 the soil or the seedsman, was returned from the 
 ground with the character and habit of ' Thlaspi 
 Bursa Pastoris.' In turning, he could, at the ex* 
 pence of not more than ten times the shoprprice, 
 produce handles for fire-screens, brass screws, and 
 
 sundrv 
 
1l3!8 THE CatTNTESS AND GEUtRtTDE* 
 
 sundry ivory nick-nacks ; and in the larger concern 
 of connoisseurship, he had for some weeks in- 
 vited and attracted hdlf the town, by exhibiting a 
 Claude that turned out a Swannevelt, and by 
 boasting of a Flemish old woman paring turnips 
 as a jNIichael Angelo Caravaggio ; but it requires 
 some philosophy to collect and avow the collecting 
 of pictures: a man must bear to hear numberless 
 insinuations respecting his property and his saga- 
 city, which no one, in any other department of 
 commerce would endure : he gains no credit by 
 having been lavish of money in his purchases : it 
 is the business of every one to suppose him a dupe, 
 and to detect his folly ; and to bear all this, re- 
 quired a deeper foundation of taste than Lord 
 Luxm ore's. 
 
 Dismisted in succession, with these successive 
 follies, for follies they are when resorted to on so 
 feeble an impulse, he, on the first thin crop from 
 his land followed by a spring fatal to his lambs, 
 let off again that part of it which he had taken 
 into his own hands *' ; on the first disagreement 
 with his gardener from Kew, disposed of his stove 
 and green-house-plants ; without cause, save sati- 
 ety, left the turuing-kithe; and having an offer from 
 a public exhibitor for the whole of his picture gal- 
 lery, at the loss of only one third of his expence, 
 he renounced for ever, and without a moment's 
 regret, the splendid celebrity, which he saw it re- 
 
 * A^erum iibi oves furto morbo periere capellae, 
 Spem mentita '^eges, bos est enectiis arando 
 
 Gffensus damnis ■ 
 
 " tendit ad cedes* Horace. 
 
 quired 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 129 
 
 quired the revenue of a prmce, and the patience 
 of a martyr, to preserve. 
 
 Tis a sad hectic constitution of mind, when resV- 
 lessness meets imbecihty : yet it is to be cured, if 
 we know how to set about it : but Lord Luxmore 
 not having this knowledge, and not aware that it 
 was to be gained, felt himself, when he had re- 
 ceived the money for his collection, as much to 
 seek as when he began collecting. 
 
 What now remained to be done ? he was not in- 
 deed in the distress of the speculator who could 
 not give up the Stock exchange * because he was 
 too old to walk Bond-street,' his lordship, had he 
 turned his studies that way, might have got air and 
 exercise and fame at once ; but, unfortunately, 
 he was not completely a baby of fashion. The 
 ashes of his mind, though at present giving little 
 hope that 
 
 * Parva sub inducta latuit scintilla favilla,' 
 
 yet declared that there had been substanca But 
 with regard to the offered resource, walking Bond- 
 street having been an early pastime, and his me- 
 mory retaining the sense of weariness which it had 
 superinduced, it did not come recommended by 
 any novelty. There seemed therefore but one re- 
 source, unless he took up with raiional pursuits, 
 and this opened on him in a morning-lounge with 
 a friend, who was fitting up a very fine library, 
 and who for soise unoccupied shelves was in quest 
 of long sttSy while to accommodate the narrower 
 wants of other portions of wall and mahogany, he 
 VOL. T. K applied 
 
130 THE COUNTESS AND GDRtfttJDE. 
 
 applied the test of a twelve-inch rule *. This 
 friend being a man the ' easiest possible to do bu- 
 siness with,' did not weary, as do half our ac- 
 quaintance, the patience of shopkeepers, by seeing 
 all, approving all, and at length declining all — • 
 good Procrustes Superfix of Puppy borough in 
 Cumberland, went, as he said, in all things by his 
 eye. When he had bought a book, he sometimes 
 stepped back, after having quitted the shop, to re- 
 fresh his memory with the title ; but, in general, he 
 cared little on that score. Any trifling mistake in 
 dimensions, -^for the most accurate will sometimes 
 err, — his domesticated binder rectified: — extreme 
 height only made * the plough read' a little more 
 than it designed, and it occurred only once, that 
 it took off poor Vashti's crown in the graphic re- 
 cord of her disgrace: — thickness could be reduced 
 by the muscular operation of a stout arm ; and if 
 the volume did not exactly fill the space, he put 
 into it, as he said, by way of blank leaves, a few 
 gazettes, or sheets of advertisements, which are 
 always to be had at a printer's or a publisher's, and 
 give two chances of amusement to a lounger, who 
 may, for aught the possessor knows, have ' drawn 
 a prize' in German or Hindoo, while waiting for 
 his horse, his dinner, or his wits. — The pleasure 
 of correcting current errors makes us embrace this 
 
 * On our honor, our page was written before Dr. Clarke's 
 anecdote appeared. He says, * A Russian nobleman gave an 
 order to his bookseller, * Fit me up a handsome library — 
 little books above— great books below.' — Our fact is Eng- 
 lish. 
 
 Opportunity 
 
THE dOUNTESS A^'D GERTRUDE* 131 
 
 Opportunity of asserting, that it was not Mr. Pro- 
 orustes Superfix who adopted wooden editions of 
 'Standstill's Travels,' ' Lawyer against Fees/ and 
 'Block on Human Understanding' — it was the 
 
 Earl of T • ; neither did our friend ever report 
 
 an application made to him to subscribe to a trans- 
 lation of Plautus jrro??i the original Greek — it was 
 
 Sir J ' M — ■ 5 both the one and the other 
 
 dead long ago. 
 
 In the superb libraries of the great booksellers, 
 the earl saw outlets enough for money, and inlets 
 enough for new play-things. In one .shop, where 
 his friend w^ent to protest against the invoice of 
 three hundred pounds' Worth oi promiscuous litera" 
 tare which he had ordered, and which he could 
 riot keep, but at a very large discount, he was 
 presented with ' uncorruptcd text' ^ faultless type' 
 — ^ immaculate paper/ and * ink made on the first 
 principles of chemistry :' in another emporium of 
 literature, disquisitions of learning, science, and 
 taste, were thrown before him : here he saw bind- 
 ing, there gilding, that defied the manual excel- 
 lence of the continent : here were leaves marbled 
 into landscape, there was morocco of a color ne- 
 ver before attempted : here was engraving whose 
 exquisite stroke rivalled the work that made the 
 fortune of an artist, and more than atoned — if in- 
 deed, it needed atonement — for * a little licence in 
 the outline' — and if his lordship would step this 
 way, he might see a work where the fidelity of the 
 unshaded outline was not to be solicited — * Soli- 
 cited ?' said the earl to his friend — * Yes, a solid- 
 K 2 tarcj 
 
132 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 tai^ey to question,' replied Mr. Superfix ; ^ one of 
 the first scholars of the age has given it in this 
 sense' — ' God bless me !' said the earl — for he, 
 poor man ! was no scholar ; and he mistook this, 
 which was learning, for pedantry, to which he 
 had, like most small dealers, a decided aversion^ 
 as we have to all things that puzzle us. 
 
 ^ Have you got,' said his lordship, * a very good 
 road-book?— I have lost mine.' 
 
 ^ Here is one, my lord, that has been bound ex- 
 pressly for Sir Superfine Tawdry — we can get ano- 
 ther done for him, if your lordship approves this.* 
 
 ' But what's the use of this fine cover, and these 
 silv^er clasps, and all these ornaments ?' 
 
 ' It is Sir Superfine's taste, my lord.' 
 
 ' I cannot say I admire it: I should think the 
 sooner one could get at the inside of such a book, 
 the more convenient it would be.' 
 
 * Different tastes ! my lord.' 
 
 'Well, if you please, I will have one bound 
 strong and plain, and easy to get at.' 
 
 CHAf. 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 133 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 A happy expedient, A diplomatic appointment, A disappoint" 
 ment. The ^ poor devil' of use. Sketch of' poor devil. A let- 
 ter. The ansvcer. A visit at dinner-time and Jiobody in a bus. 
 tie. A brave boy. An authentic ghost-story. The * poor de- 
 vil' obstinate. The pleasures of children enviable. Thoughts 
 
 on education. The ^ poor devil" rather prosj/. Mr. ■ , 
 
 the philanthropist's f colts of thirty. More ptosing. A reproof 
 xvcll t alien. A profligate mother. The progress of ruin. 
 Moderate views of a father, 
 
 A FEW mornings spent in this sort of lounging^ 
 •convinced his lordship, that to the patronage of 
 the various excellence submitted to his considera- 
 tion, a fortune much larger than that which his 
 lady had brought him, would hardly afford the 
 means. * I can give up,' thought he, ' perhaps 
 better before I engage, than after I am engaged. 
 Self-denial I see is necessary ; O Mary ! thy ex- 
 ample 1 — I can give up,' 
 
 His lordship would have returned home very 
 sad, had there not resulted from the prismatic 
 whirl of these optic exhibitions of the morning, an 
 idea, that though he could not well found a li- 
 brary, such as these great literature-merchants 
 would allow him to be confcent with, yet that, as a 
 deriiier resort, general reading would be a good 
 plan : he therefore ordered at the fashionable cir- 
 culating library, an increase of newspapers, and 
 
 all 
 
134 THE COUXTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 all the monthly, quarterly, and annual publica- 
 tions to be regularly sent in, together, as he ex- 
 prest himself, with ' every thing worth reading in a 
 light way,' as it came out. But having thus en- 
 rolled himself as a Mecaenas, though in a subor- 
 dinate class, he found it not easy to keep out of the 
 higher, and was daily induced, by means not at 
 all unfair, to put down his name, not indeed to 
 the works he had specifically rejected, but in the 
 various lists of subscribers to splendid publications, 
 which he was told would rise in value, so as to be- 
 come an immense addition to his property. If 
 these ^ extra-elephant folios' had not always the 
 most erudite compilers, he had a new and very 
 great pleasure in exhibiting to his morning-visitors, 
 and his dining friends while waiting the pleasure of 
 bis cook, the habrts of foreign nations, and the 
 wonders of foreign soils, the excavations of Ellora, 
 the landscapes, physiogFiOmy, and animals of the 
 Cape, the rtiost adaptable shapes for horse-shoes, 
 and the firmest construction for light-houses. All 
 these, and fifty other spepies of knowledge, equally 
 recommended by their disjointed independence of 
 each other, opened new vistas of gratification ; 
 and a rapid succession of them was necessary to 
 dazzle him, and hide from him the conviction which 
 \vould have forced its way, that the human intel- 
 lect, refusing to be fed before it is hungry, profits 
 not half so much by the system of repletion, as by 
 a slender supply of aliment loudly demanded by 
 the impetuous sense of want, and a strong power , 
 pf digesting. But happily, when once his lord- 
 ship's 
 
THE COIJNTESS AND GEflTRUDE. IS5 
 
 ship s new taste for novelty of this kind was known, 
 it wanted not its flatterers and abettors ; and, with 
 the aid of conversation, which has been charac- 
 terised by the best authority, as * making a ready 
 man,' he began to feel such rapid improvement in 
 his faculties, as to be easily persuaded he was not 
 destitute of talents for business. Tis true, a 
 snarling critic had ventured to reply to an observa- 
 tion very favourable with regard to the earl's abili- 
 ties, that, ' in a desert, there was room for any 
 thing to grow, if there were but soil to nourish it;' 
 but this reached not his lordship's ear : it was 
 a splenetic expression ; and either the good -nature 
 of him who heard it, or the fear of nipping in the 
 bud the germ of genius, suppressed it. 
 
 The idea of public business once received into 
 his mind, was not dormant: it was divulged 
 amongst his friends, and received no check. A 
 short speech in the house on a popular question, 
 and an introduction at the minister's levee, dubbed 
 him a politician. In the next re-adjustment of the 
 treasury- balance, he got a ripieno appointmentj 
 and was soon asked to accept a diplomatic situ- 
 ation, not indeed of much responsibility, but of 
 parade and splendor, and which he was disposed 
 to look on as the ' ne plus ultra' of fortune's power 
 to serve him. 
 
 Much bustle and business preceded the entering 
 on this new situation. At length the day of depar- 
 ture was fixed ; and he notified it to the countess, 
 together with the arrangements he had made for 
 her supply of cash^ with about a§ much formality 
 
 on 
 
136 THE COUNTESS AKD GERTRUDE. 
 
 on his part, and interest on her's, as if he had 
 told his groom he should ride out, and would have 
 his horse fed. Lady Lux more asked, indeed, 
 what was to be done with Portargis, now near five 
 years old; but his lordship only bade her trouble 
 her head about her own business, and sat down to 
 write a letter to M\\ Aubrey, who, with his wife, 
 had recently spent a week with the earl and coun- 
 tess. 
 
 He informed Mr. Aubrey of the necessity of his 
 quitting England, in a diplouiatic capacity, vv'hidi 
 might occupy him for a year, or for years, and re- 
 quested him to admit the young viscount under his 
 roof for the time of his absence. A reply came 
 from the hand of Mrs. Aubrey, who, by her hus- 
 band's direction, pleaded the infirm state of his 
 health as an obstacle to iiis doing what otherwise 
 vrould have given him a most welcome opportunity 
 of shewing his respect and attachment. 
 
 Defeated in this plan of disposing of his son, he 
 had to devise another. 
 
 His lordship had sometimes thought, and for 
 him, very seriously thought, of the manner in 
 which he should bring up his son with the most sa- 
 tisfaction to his parental pride. On some points 
 he could decide : the army should be his profes- 
 sion : the world his book : he Vvished him just to 
 know enough to pass decently in the society he 
 would be ^thrown into ; and to fence, dance, and 
 ride well, and speak French elegantly, he thought 
 it a matter of conscience to pjake of the lii'st im- 
 portance, as he saw daily, and in some measure, 
 
 felt 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. |37 
 
 felt in his own person, their powers of conducing 
 to a man's success in the world. Any tendency 
 towards abstract learning ; any wish for that which 
 makes a nnan equally fit for public or private life, 
 and equally content with fame or obscurity, Lord 
 Luxmore would have regarded as little less a ble- 
 mish than a club-foot or the loss of an eye : he was 
 prepared, indeed, with a few of those expressions 
 which move by inueiido, in case such unfortunate 
 tastes appeared ; but he flattered himself, as he 
 did in thinking of the gout, that as it never in the 
 memory of man, had shewn itself in his family, it 
 was not likely to break out in Portargis. In mo- 
 rals, he meant to preserve nearly the same medi- 
 ocrity : he did not w ish his son to be flagrantly 
 wicked, and therefore lie wished some care to be 
 taken of his early years ; but he certainly did not 
 desire to bring him up to boast virtues to the re- 
 proach of his father: he cared not, as he said to 
 his friends, ' if he had a little of the devil in him ;' 
 ^ he would rather have him a Pickle;' ' boys were 
 good for nothing without mischief.' As to any 
 thing else, that would come of itself; and he would 
 not have him made an old woman before he was a 
 young man. On the subjects of temper and ge- 
 neral disposition, he thought it always best to be 
 silent till ^ the age of reason :' how could children 
 understand correction? and he was sure all he 
 wanted would be effected by a public school. It 
 was his design to send him, at a proper age, to 
 Eton, furnished abundantly, which he thought a 
 thing never to be neglected, with money ; he would 
 there make good connections : he then meant to 
 
 have 
 
158 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 hav€ bim abroad for a shurt time, before he launch- 
 ed hitn in the dragoons, for ^vhich the miUtary 
 academy would prepare him. 
 
 Jn a^li Lord Luxmore's deliberations respecting 
 his son, to keep him out of the reach of liis mother, 
 was a principal care : he could have wished him 
 to remain ignorant that he ever had a mother ; but 
 as this could not be effected, his next care was to 
 find some one with whom to deposit him, and over 
 whom she could have no influence. Having no 
 second resource, he addressed a letter to that re- 
 verend cousin of his in shire, who, if ever 
 
 he did think of him, came to his recollection by 
 the style and title bestowed on him in the early 
 frolic of youth, of 'the poor devil' 
 
 This ^ poor devil' was the reverend Basil Syden- 
 bam,, the only son of his lordship's father's only 
 brother, which brother had married very early, very 
 imprudently, and with the hope that the then eari 
 would die unmarried. The clergyman was there-^ 
 fore about ten years older than his titled kinsman, 
 and was, at one time, presumptive heir to the fa-* 
 roily-honors. On the occurrence of that even! 
 which decided the matter against his interests, the 
 father of Mr. Sydenham had acted, for the first 
 time, wisely ; he had procured for his son admis- 
 sion on the foundation of a public school, where 
 he had been inured to discipline ; from thence he 
 had been sent, with high credit to the university ; 
 had been afterwards engaged as tutor to a young 
 man of rank, with whom he had travelled, and 
 who had requited his services by a living, on which 
 
 witb 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUD-E. ISQ 
 
 With oeconomy, he could subsist : he had married a 
 deserving young woman ; and his life would have 
 passed hitherto unmarked by misfortune, had he 
 not lost his wife soon after the birth of his son. 
 This son, now nearly ten years old, was the object 
 of his rational solicitude : he knew he had it not 
 in his power to provide for him, otherwise than by 
 his own industry; but he was resolved to keep 
 him independent of the head of the family, the 
 means to which he conceived to be the exertion of 
 his utmost attention in educating him himselt, and 
 such strict oeconom}^, as should, when he had fitted 
 him for the university, enable him to maintain him 
 there, till he might be provided for by his college. 
 This was his scheme, and from it he had never 
 deviated. He gave up all his leisure, from the 
 moment when his child was capable of instruction, 
 to teaching him whatever he thought would con- 
 duce to form his character, improve his intellects, 
 and render him useful to himself. Having pro- 
 ceeded on his own plan seven years, he took, out 
 of a number of pupils which his high estima- 
 tion excited his friends to urge on him, three, only 
 two of whom were superior to his boy in their 
 progress. The attainments of the elder ones, Mr. 
 Sydenham intended should call out emulation ; 
 and the inferiority of the third he made use of as 
 the test of his son's attention to his lessons. The 
 two elder worked together* in the presence of 
 young Basil, and being well chosen, led him on to 
 follow them : by the test of teaching himself the 
 lesson he had just learnt, he knew what progress 
 
 he 
 
140 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 he was making ; and what he had required in the 
 day was doubly impressed on his memory. 
 
 In his yearly visit to the metropolis and his fa- 
 mily, Mr. Sydenham never omitted leaving his 
 address at his noble cousin's; but as this was not 
 honored with any notice, the world could not have 
 tempted him to do more. The carl and the par- 
 son therefore knew so little of each other, that a 
 frank with the corner-fringe of ' Lux more' sur- 
 prised and almost alarmed him. The contents 
 were soon digested. The style ran thus : 
 
 *■ My dear Sir, 
 
 ' His Majesty having done me 
 the honor to appoint me to a diplomatic situation, 
 M'hich may keep me out of this country some years, 
 I wish to know by return of post, whether it would 
 be inconvenient to you to take my son into your 
 house for the purpose of your superintending his 
 education till he is of a proper age to go to Eton. 
 If you can make it suit you, I shall expect you in 
 town directly, when you shall hear further parti- 
 culars from 
 
 Your's very much 
 
 LUXMORE.' 
 
 The answer took no more time in the composi- 
 tion than the right honorable penmanship did in 
 decyphering. It was only 
 
 * My Lord, 
 
 As the plan your lordship does 
 me the honor to propose to me, would not consist 
 
 with 
 
THE COUNTESS AND ©ERTRUDE. 141 
 
 with my modes of life or present occupation, I 
 must beg to decline it ; but am, my lord, very 
 respecfuUy, 
 
 Your lordship's obedient servant, 
 
 Basil Sydenham/ 
 
 A second rejection was a grievous disappoint- 
 ment; it had not entered into Lord Laxmore's 
 calculations : he had foreseen no difficulty but that 
 which money might remove, and he was not pre- 
 pared for so peremptory a refusal. Still, however, 
 he held firm to his purpose ; and as the shortest 
 method of doing business is to do it ourselves, he 
 the next morning set off for Mr. Sydenham's living, 
 and reached the humble vicarage-house just as the 
 family, alter a few words of thankful supplication 
 to Him who gives us ail, v. ere seated at dinner. 
 
 It was so long since the Peer and the Divine 
 had met, even on the pavement of London, that 
 tliey scarcely knew each other ; and had they been 
 of equal rank, some ceremony must have pre- 
 ceded their interview; but his lordship having, from 
 his carriage, obtained a bird's-eye view of the 
 room and the business going forward, had made 
 his way to the circle, before the Clodpole yclept a 
 footman, had done staring at them there tzvofun^ 
 ny black men whom he had perceived standing on 
 each side the picture on the chay-door, as his lord- 
 ghip's own man, ' vviio always rode with him,' 
 bounced it to with an air of irresistible autho- 
 rity. 
 
 ' Do not let me disturb you, Sydenjiam,' said 
 
 th^ 
 
149 THE COUNtESS AND GERTRlTDfi. 
 
 the earl, good bumoredly. ' Let me have a chair 
 and a plate, and a slice of your nice pork ; and 
 we will then talk of the business I came upon.' 
 
 Mr. Sydenham, in all that perfect composure 
 which results from a man's knowing his proper 
 station, and respecting himself as well as his su- 
 periors, apologised for bringing his lordship to a 
 homely meal, and at an unseasonable hour. Lord 
 Luxmore soon made every one easy by seeming 
 pleased; and by a little well directed and well- varied 
 attention to the young people, by shewing curiosity, 
 and expressing interest with regard to their pur- 
 suits, he made his intrusion a circumstance agree- 
 able to all. The refusal he had met with, and 
 which it was his errand to get rescinded, rendered 
 him more than a little solicitous to recommend 
 himself to his young relation. He stroked his 
 curled head as he sat next him ; and on his re- 
 treating from that which the natural growth of his 
 hair made not very pleasant to his feelings, he 
 asked him if he was afraid, * Tell me the truth, 
 Basil — I suppose, Sydenham, he has our family 
 name — were you not frightened when you saw me 
 come in ?* 
 
 * Frightened ? No ; what was there to frighten 
 me; Sir?' 
 
 * Oh ! nothing : but young people in the country 
 are apt to be afraid of strangers.' 
 
 ' But my father says. Sir, we, in the country, 
 ought to be very kind to strangers ; and how celn 
 we be kind, if we are afraid ? I never can do any 
 tiling w^ell, if I am afraid. Do you see that bar 
 
 there? 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GXRTRlfeE. 143 
 
 there ? the first time my fatlier bid me clear it, I 
 am sure I could have done it, if I had not said to 
 myself, I do not think I can ; but the next time, 
 I said nothing about it, and I am certain I went 
 four inches higher than the bar.' 
 
 ' Then you are determined never again lo be 
 afraid.' 
 
 ' Not I.' 
 
 ' Never,' interposed My, S3'denham, * while you 
 do right ; the first moment of guilt ouglit to be the 
 first moment of fear ; in short, there is nothing, 
 your lordship will agree with me, to fear where 
 there is no guilt.' 
 
 ' Indeed, father, I always strive to think so,' re- 
 plied Basil ; ^ for, I know that at worst we can but 
 be killed ; and last winter, vrhen there was all that 
 terrible piece of work about Henry, though I really 
 did believe there were people got into the house to 
 rob us, and perhaps murder us, as they did at Far- 
 mer Sandford's, I went to sleep very quietly ; for 
 . I knew they could but kill us, and I could not 
 prevent it : I hoped, indeed, 1 might wake in time 
 if they made any noise, and then I determined to 
 come to your bed-siJe and call you.' 
 
 ' And what,' said Lord Lux more, * was the ter- 
 rible piece of work about Henry? May I not 
 hear it ?' 
 
 ' Vvliy Henry was out, and Henry v/as at 
 home, both at once, and frightened Betty into fits j 
 and they said' it was his ghost.' 
 
 There was too much vehem^rce, and too little 
 
 method in the outset of this detail, to pro iiise 
 
 7 much 
 
144! THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 much perspicuity. Mr. Sydenham, therefore, tak- 
 ing up the conversation for his son, observed to 
 Lord Luxmore, that the occurrence alluded to, 
 was one of the many that serve to prove the 
 cheats put on the superstitious. * Tiie fact,' said 
 he, ' was simply this : one evening last winter, I 
 was very much concerned at being told by the 
 servant who superintends my family, that a young 
 girl, a house-maid, had been terrified into fits by 
 the man-servant. On enquiry, I found, that in 
 coming out of one of the rooms, she had seen the 
 man, who, I must confess, was of a figure and 
 countenance enough to appall a weak mind, 'when 
 imperfectly seen, go up the stairs in a very unu- 
 sual manner ; as he passed her, he had grinned 
 horribly ; but I do not know that the girl would 
 have taken fright, had she not, on mentioning the 
 circumstance of his having made her start, been 
 told that it was impossible, as he was not at the 
 time in the house. She was then fully convinced 
 it was his shadozo, as she called it, that she had 
 seen ; and the conviction completely overcame her. 
 I was appealed to in the case, but she was inca- 
 ble of hearing reason, and knowing that I really 
 had sent the man out on an errand, I could only 
 imagine some one had got into the house, whom 
 she had mistaken for him : we searched, but to 
 no purpose ; and in about an hour the man came 
 home, and enquired the cause of the uneasiness, 
 which, with a due regard to the laws of ghost-de- 
 licacy, his fellow-servants seemed very unwilling 
 to reveat'. My boys were told by the women that 
 
 Henry 
 
THE COUKTESS AND GERTRUDjET. 145 
 
 Henry could nof possibly live above a month, as 
 his shadow had been seen to pass ; and I had a 
 good opportunity of combating the supernatural 
 dread such communications were liiiely to awaken: 
 I let tl^em hear all that was to be said; nay, I 
 courted for them all the additions that credulity 
 and lyini^ legends could make to this suspended 
 fact. In the mean time, I took no pains to dis- 
 cover any clieat. I only bid them wait the event; 
 On the day month after this disturbance, Henry, 
 who had always been sickly, was obliged to leave 
 me to go into a London hospital, and we heard 
 then no more of him. In the early part of the 
 summer, one of my lads met him in the street, 
 recovered, and looking in health. Knowing the 
 interest I felt for him as a good servant incapa- 
 citated by illness, he asked him why he did not 
 come down at least to see us, if not to return to 
 his service. He replied, * I dare not. Sir, my 
 master would commit me to prison about Betty.' 
 This was all he would say when he found the 
 young man not yet informed of the circumstance ; 
 and I should have regretted his silence, had I 
 parted wdth any servant after his departure, but I 
 trusted there must have been some plot that re-* 
 quired more heads than one, and I waited only 
 for some disagreement that required my interfet'- 
 ence : one soon occurred between the girdener 
 and the cook ; and when I was advising peace, and 
 adverting to the recent distress occasioned by the 
 strange story of Henry, each of them, anxious to 
 oppress the adversary, at the same moment dis- 
 VOL, t. L closed 
 
14(5 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE, 
 
 closed the fact, that he had been let in private^, 
 after I had sent h'un out, on purpose to frighten 
 the poor girl. It was a reason with nie for dis- 
 missing both of them ; and I believe it was the 
 destruction of many ghosts in the neighborhood. 
 
 When the young ones were withdrawn for their 
 hour of play, Lord Luxmorc entered on his pur- 
 pose; but lie found ,!\lr. Sydenham inflexibly re- 
 solved : he urged tiie impropriety of his having 
 charge of the one person, wdio alone, after his 
 lordihip, stood between his family and the earl- 
 dom; he should risque his lordship's tavor for ever, 
 were he to use, w ith his heir, the measures he must 
 be allowed to use with all who were committed to 
 his trust : he took his pupils only for ihe sake of 
 his boy : he did not wish to enlarge his number, 
 and he had neither at present nor in prospect, a 
 vacancy. 
 
 The opposition of the one party, only confirmed 
 ■the other in his perseverance; and Lord Luxmore, 
 convinced that his wife's influence could do no- 
 thing against such discipline as he supposed Mr. 
 Sydenhanfs, was resolved, at any rate, to pur- 
 cliase this friend for the young viscount. He 
 ■offered extravagant emolument: he promised to 
 relieve Mr. Sydenham from all anxiety about Ba- 
 sil, by securing for him the first good reversion, 
 that came uithin his orbit of ndnisterial power. 
 It was to no purpose :— and he was, in more jus- 
 tillable uneasiness of mind than he was in the ha- 
 bit of feeling, about to accept Mr. Sydenham's 
 
 offer 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 147 
 
 6fFer of a bed for that night, without havin^^ 
 any farther profited by his journey than to 
 regret honestly that his cousin had not been ths 
 director of his youth, and the example of his ma- 
 turer years, when shaking hands cordially with 
 the independent, but yet humble and respectful 
 vicar, he said, with a glistening eye, * Sydenham, 
 if my boy is ruined, you must answer for it : I 
 have no resource now : I did not think to have 
 been refused.' ' Indeed?' said Mr. Sydenham, 
 starting back : ' well, give me till the mornino- to 
 • consider of it, my lord : God forbid I should re- 
 fuse my assistance when it is realli/ wished for; if 
 I can arrange the matter, I will yield.' The earl' 
 felt and expressed himself grateful ; and the re- 
 lations parted with improved sentiments of each 
 other. 
 
 Lord Luxmore rose early, and in the enjoyment 
 
 of a species and degree of chearfulness new to his 
 
 feelings. It was an early spring, and he was 
 
 pleased while dressing, to see from his window, 
 
 ]\Ir. Sydenham sharing the sports of his pupilsj. 
 
 |;and as much occupied in promoting their plea- 
 
 ;sure as in directing their studies. There is no- 
 
 I thing that astonishes and captivates the ujiuds of 
 
 the half-virtuous and the half-wise, so much as any 
 
 proof that the good and the learned can act in a 
 
 Common way *' : it is a surprise, and a cordial to 
 
 our 
 
 * And often in the case of those who are neither good or 
 teamed, but who have pursuits not quite of the lowest order, 
 fc 2 th«f 
 
1 i8 TIIF COUNTESS, AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 our vanity to see our superiors resemble us, even if 
 it be but for halt an hour of the four and twenty. 
 His lordship joined the groupe, just as Basil, by 
 the instruction of his father, had improved his 
 manual dexterity in his play : — liis exultation 
 was 2;reat, and his father's encouragement tliat of 
 a man who knev; how to excite emulation without 
 calling out vanity. 1^/'. 
 
 A sigh escaped tlie earl, in cOasidcring how 
 much more easy it is to annise simple than sophis- 
 ticated minds : he had never, in his recollection, 
 been as happy as this boy ; and a feeling of na- 
 tural benevolence made him almost dread to en- 
 quire whctlicr his son might ||0pc for admission to 
 a share in the pure delight of this little commu- 
 nity. 
 
 Mr. Sydenham having performed his promise of 
 considering the proposal, was too polite to make 
 his relation wait, or to need another question. 
 Ke began the subject; and the anxious parent 
 felt relieved when his reply was, that ' oji his oxmi 
 conditicm he would undertake the great charge 
 of the infant-viscount. Lord Luxmore flattered 
 himself that more could not be required than he 
 had ability to accede to, and therefore promised 
 unreservedly 
 
 ^ I have,' said ]\Ir. Sydenham, * my own ideas 
 
 the same sort of wonder is excited. * I never was so asto- 
 nislied,' said Mrs. Starcabout, ' as when I s;uv IMiss Boast- 
 less at needle-work !' * Why were you astonished ?' ' Be- 
 cause I thought she understood Latin and Greek.* ' Well !. 
 and what then?--* ! that's all/ 
 
 on 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. ]49 
 
 on the subjecl; of education; and I cannot lu: 
 think it a matter which requires, in the course of 
 this world's progress, frequent revision, and much 
 accommodation to tlie spirit of the times. I know, 
 on the contrary, that many, much wiser and far 
 more learned than myself, are now contending for 
 iin unqualified resort to ancient usage, whilst others 
 are going intinitely beyond me, and making one 
 of the most important exertions of the human 
 powers, depend on tiie fashion of the day. En- 
 <leavoring to steer between these extremes, you 
 will conclude, perhaps, that I am conceited and 
 obstinate : I hope not so ; for I have availed my* 
 self of the better information and longer experience 
 of many; and I am still ready to adopt whatever 
 •my judgment can admit to be an improvement; but 
 it is my duty to act up to my own ideas, and there- 
 fore I take no pupil over whom I am not allowed 
 that perfect control which subjects him to all my 
 despotism. '> 
 
 ' You have carte blanche, my friend.' 
 * Your lordship does me honor; but, before you 
 give me this implicit credit, I would have you 
 know to what you subscribe. I think I may say 
 my endeavors in morals are simply these. To fix 
 the principles. To subjugate the passions. To 
 liberate the judgment; every particle of which 
 endeavors must have their foundation laid in the 
 simple precepts of religion, pure and mild as it 
 comes from its source. The manners shall not be 
 neglected ; and of the Greek and Latin, and the 
 Accomplishments fit for his exalted rank, I wilt 
 
 takq 
 
Iv50 THE COUNTESS AND GKRTRUDE. 
 
 take due care, if 3^our lordship's absence from Eng^ 
 land extends to the time cf life when the polish of 
 my handywork is called for. If I take your son, 
 to fit him for Eton, I fear I shall interest myself 
 too deeply in his welfare to rssign him tacitly to 
 his fate there.' 
 
 * Understand me, Svdenham. You would dou- 
 ble the obligation by promising to be his guardian 
 during my absence/ 
 
 * If we agree, my lord, on tlie first question, 
 you may rely on it. A few hours in a day, with 
 the industry 1 shall endeavour to make him exert, 
 will fit him for the routine of a public school; 
 but the more anxious part of the charge is not 
 divided into times and seasons : — it is a care I car- 
 ry to my pillow: a care that will not always sleep 
 w^th me there ; a care that rises w itli me and ad- 
 heres to every moment of my existence : — mine is 
 a situation of awful responsibility/ 
 
 ' No man can be fitter for it ; few so fit/ 
 
 * We hear at this time,' resumed j\lr. Syden- 
 ham, ' a great deal of what appcai-s to me absur- 
 dity, on the danger of breaking the spirit of chil- 
 dren. No one can be less a friend than I am, I 
 hope, to oppression of any kind ; but this fear of 
 breaking the spirit, seems to me very nearly allied 
 in rationality to such a fear as should restrain a 
 man from training a colt for the service to which 
 his Maker and man's necessities destine him. 
 Happening to visit, many years ago, with my fa- 
 ther, and when I was very young, the park of that 
 crazy philanthropist, who thought it a breach of 
 
 the 
 
THE COUXTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 151 
 
 ihc civil compact between the rational and brute 
 creation, to do ought beyond the Jiat of Nature, I 
 was, even then struck, with his folly; but since that 
 time, his unbacked colts, thirty years old, have not 
 appeared to me ataif more preposterous in their 
 savage freedom, tiian many men of what is called 
 first reference in the world of fashion, and who 
 consider the indulgence better than the control of 
 every wayward passion.' 
 
 Lord Lux more stroked his face, gave his watch- 
 key three turns, and changed the bearings of his 
 legs. iMr. Sydenham, Vi-arm in his subject, pro- 
 ceeded : ' ^ly colts, however, shall never undergo 
 from me any severe 7naJiSge, I am no friend to 
 placing a head between two pillars, and lashing g, 
 carcase, to try how far a pair of heels can kick out ; 
 but I have a horror of suffering a tine generous 
 spirited animal, by my negligence, to go half a mile 
 out of his way, and then with a military bit and a 
 pair of spurs, even of gold spurs, forcing him back 
 into it. 1 would never wish to be acquainted Vvith 
 a child's natural faults, if I can smother them with- 
 out seeing them. I\ly aim in mental cultivation is 
 to get a quantity of good seed into the soil, before 
 the weeds dare shew their heads ; and th^n I may 
 hope by mowing and hoeing, and all the usual and 
 unusual diligence of agriculture, which I will never 
 spare, to thin them, or at least to prevent their 
 seeding. As to the patient forbearance of waiting 
 to see what is the first effort a boy will make to be 
 a knave, I cannot. discover its merit or its utility 
 
 it 
 
152 THE COUNTESS AND GERTEUDE. 
 
 it is waiting the growth of a giant, without posseis- 
 sing the dexterity of David.' 
 
 * You are perfectly at liberty, my dear Sir,* 
 said his lordship, who began to look as if he 
 thought his cousin a little prosing^ ' to adopt what 
 methods you please ia your guardianship of my 
 boy. 1 do not wish to trouble you lor an expla- 
 uation.' 
 
 ' I \\\\\ then say but one word more, my lord, 
 and that perhaps respects too much your lordship : 
 my experience, and I may add, my success, have 
 hitherto been in my favor ; but then I must own, 
 the subjects of my care have been uncommonly 
 suited, both in their own characters and their con- 
 nexions, to my wishes. I think I will venture to 
 promise my plan shall succeed, if your son is a 
 tolerably well-disposed boy, provided that I am 
 allowed to proceed ; and that at no time qf 
 his life he is exposed to — I must speak openly, my 
 lord, — to a bad example where he ought to look 
 for a good one.' 
 
 * I am too much interested, I confess,' replied 
 the earl, rising and turning aside, ' in keeping you, 
 Sydenham, in good humor, to be offended at even 
 a little more bluntness than I expected : nay I 
 can own your reproof just ; but, in the same spirit 
 of justice, let me, I beseech you, ask what chance 
 I ever had of being better than I am ; I have been 
 foolish, like other young men ; but I do not know 
 that I am worse than the rest of the world ; and I 
 will be so candid, for it is no compliment, as to 
 
 say, 
 
THE COUXTESS AND GERTRUDE. 153 
 
 ^y, that had you been iriy tutor, cr even iny elder 
 brother, perhaps I houl i be happier now than I 
 am : but consider ; you know my situation. The 
 jearly death of my father, and his excessive fond- 
 ness for my mother, who, I need not conceal from 
 you, was, in all ways, before and after her mar- 
 riage, unworthy his regard, lelt me entirely at iier 
 disposal : my father's will gave her the uncontroled 
 possession of every article of family- property, and 
 jthe direction of my education: she riiined herself 
 and me, and then married an ensign under orders 
 for the Indies, and whom she had pretty well 
 fleeced, to save her from diiiiculties. 1 was put to 
 a preparatory school, wliere I was spoiled, because 
 I was the only lord in it: I was then moved from 
 one academy to another, till at last I got to VV'est- 
 ininster, where she kept me short of money, and 
 whence, you know, I was exjjelled for availing my- 
 self of that resource of tfje neeuy, a rebellion. I 
 then finished by a year at a military academy, and 
 was thrown into the guards, with my mother's will, 
 jand the mortgage of my estate in my pocket, and 
 about 3001. a-year property. 1 believe what I 
 saw at my mother's, by shocking me, did me harm: 
 her deep play drew about her a set of females who, 
 even then, excited my disgust and abhorrence. All 
 my idle reading portrayed to njy imagination wliat 
 women might be, if unspoiled by the town; and m 
 a visit to a friend of my own sort, I entangled my- 
 self. — Forgive me, Sydenham ; you have had no 
 such weakness,' pursued the earl, in universal 
 agitation. ' I expect no allowances : -I can say no 
 
 more ; 
 
154 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 more : — only believe it was not an unworthy object^ 
 that I protected; she was an angel. 
 
 * Well! I \vas ruined — I married, I dare say 
 you know whom and how ; and my life has been a 
 hell to me ever since. In quitting the kingdom, I 
 hope for more peace ; I do not call myself a vi- 
 cious nian, and 1 think I was not by nature in* 
 tended to be bad; but I despair of ever being 
 more than negatively right; my spirit is most 
 truly broken : this, however, I will promise you, 
 I will never lead Portargis into vice, but at the 
 same tin^e I must say, I do not wish him to be so 
 wise as to admonish or even to shame me. Make 
 him what will go decently through the world, and 
 be a comfort lo me in my old age, and I am con- 
 tent.' 
 
 ]\Ir. Sydenham shook his head. Lord Luxmore 
 was alarmed, and retracting what he had said, 
 again referred every thiiig to Mr. Sydenham. 
 
 ' M'ell then, my lord, if 1 may be allowed to fol- 
 low, exactly and without being amenable to any 
 one, whatever plans I shall, from strict observation, 
 judge necessary: — if no complaint against me is 
 ever listened to; and if I am backed, as every 
 teacher ought to deserve to be, by parental autho- 
 rity, I will make no objection. As to pecuniary 
 terms, we will talk of them afterwards, and they 
 must be rigidly adhered to. I cannot think my 
 services overpaid in what I accept with other boys, 
 since I sacrifice my peace and the leisure I so love: 
 whether I merit it, you must hereafter determine. 
 My young relation must come on the same terms; 
 
 and 
 
THE COUXTESS AXX) GETiTUUDE. 15^ 
 
 aT^d lie must neither be better cloi;hecl, better allow- 
 anced, nor, in short, in any wny better treated, 
 than his fellow-disciples. To great pride I have 
 no objection ; bat little pride I detest. 
 
 One enquiry yet remained to be made. What- 
 would be expected on the part ot Lady Luxmore? 
 Iler husband's spirit would not permit him to say 
 all he felt: he made, therefore, only general ob- 
 jections to all reference and much intercourse, but 
 allowed Mr. Sydenham a discretionary power in 
 whatever might call for his decision. 
 
 CHAT. 
 
lo5 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 A favor handsomely conferred. A pair of savages. A discon^ 
 solate xddo-ii\ Dignified gratitude. A happy father. A 
 letter to ones husband. The diplomatic depart inc. The Utile 
 protegee. A young lady's cmplnyments. Kitchen coinforts. 
 Preparations for Tunbridge. A genteel sharper. The pit- 
 iaged ladies. Friendly enquiries in ajjlielion. 
 
 This important business satisfactorily adjusfed, 
 his lordsliip took a cordial farewell of his relations, 
 ^nd crossed the country to his seat The first 
 news he heard there, made his arrangement appear 
 to him still more valuable. Mr. Aubrey had that 
 morning expired ; and the earl, in this spring-tide 
 of his benevolence, before he had seen the recent 
 "widow, sent an express back to the house he had 
 just quitted, with a letter to Mr. Sydenliam, re- 
 questing, in the most flattering terms, his ac- 
 ceptance of the rectory of Luxmore, worth more 
 than treble the value of the living he now held, 
 and with which it was not incompatible. He next 
 enquired for some dinner, and after it, ordered in 
 his little Sampson to make sport ; but not visiting 
 his house as punctually as heretofoYe, Portargis, 
 now aware his father was a stranger, was shy and 
 silent. 
 
 Miss Aubrey, insensible of the loss she had sus- 
 tained at home, which indeed to her was irrepa- 
 rable, 
 
TIIK COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. \5f 
 
 table, was, at the time wlicn the viscount was 
 summoned to his father, at high and rude play. 
 As they acted like chain shot, never far asunder, 
 she made her appearance with him. 
 
 The viscount's nurse had possessed the perfect 
 confidence of her employers, and had, to a certain 
 period of time, deserved it: but the heads of fa- 
 milies should be aware, that the changes produced 
 in vuli^ar minds, are more violent than in cultivated 
 dispositions. The woman did her duty v,ith suf- 
 ficient accuracy to save her from reproof, though 
 Ladv Luxmore might, in a visit to the family- 
 mansion in the preceding autumn, had she been 
 endued with very quick observation, have per- 
 ceived some new habits : they vrere now flagrant ; 
 for the woman had charmed the heart of a smug- 
 srler, and his presence had not improved either the 
 delicacy of her manners, or that branch of virtue 
 called isobriety. 
 
 What appearance poor little Portargis might 
 have made, had not the earl's haste to write to 
 My. Sydenham, prevented his calling for him im- 
 mediately on his arrival, may be guessed by the 
 circumstance of his being entirely made clean on 
 the news of his father's entering the house. A 
 change of raiment not being so easily procured, 
 nor so important for Gertrude, she exhibited as 
 she was caught, in a frock, once white, but which, 
 by its many and various hues, told that her haunts 
 were the ditches, the stables, and the kitchen. 
 But even her dirt could not disguise her. Her 
 dark eyeS; and her hair, which she stood combing 
 
 with 
 
158- THE CCUNTESS ASV GtRTRUBEv 
 
 with her fingers till it was grotesque, her healthy 
 hue, in which a fairer spot might here and there 
 be perceived, accusing the sun of its mis-used 
 power, were striking, while the superior air that 
 contrasted with her sordid appearance, gave art 
 interest to her slender figure. 
 
 As she was much too dirty to be kissed, Lord 
 Luxmore, though naturally fond of children, was 
 oblic^ed to content himself with shaking hands with 
 her. She was not disconcerted ; but she stared, 
 till her eyes seemed to have lost all power of 
 closino- ; and when she saw her playfellow seated 
 on the earl's knee, from which he would gladly 
 have dismounted to pursue his sports with her,, 
 she set up an appropriate and thoroughly vulgar 
 roar of jealousy and vexation. An atten}pt ta 
 exile her for the sake of peace, gave the viscount 
 the use of his voice ; and Lord Luxmore was 
 forced to endure a nuisance that he might retain a 
 pleasure. His watch soon engaged ^he attention 
 of his boy ; and Gertrude forgetting her jealousy 
 in her curiosity, annoyed him still more by her 
 proximity, than by her former vehemence. 
 
 The earl endeavoured to find out their attainments 
 and abilities ; but it was scarcely possible to bring, 
 the little savages into any order. If he tried them 
 in the alphabet, both were ignorant or informed : it 
 was dilBcult to tell which prompted the other, so 
 well did they fire together ; if he required them to 
 spell a word, to know which could do it correctly 
 was as great a trial of attention ; if they were 
 bid to read a few easy words, they fought for that 
 
 from 
 
THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 15() 
 
 from which they were to read : they acted in con- 
 cert; both were dumb, or both clamorous. The 
 little they would say, was rendered unintelligible, 
 partly by pi'ovincial tone and articulation, and 
 partly by its being of a description of language 
 which his lordship had never learnt, or else had 
 forgotten. Nothing could exceed it in vulgarity. 
 
 If the earl ever thought justly, it was now, when 
 seeing incipient mischief, and possessing the means 
 to stop its farther progress, he thanked God 
 for the blessing of such a friend as his cousin 
 Sydenham, His first business in the morning, was 
 to send for a village- taylor to accoutre the viscount 
 tor his new situation ; he next sent to make en- 
 quiries after Mrs. Aubrey, and received in answer 
 a request for the honour of a visit, which he felt 
 not at all inclined to pay. He was not fond of 
 the subject of death : he did not admire ]\Irs. Au- 
 brey's care of his or her own child, and having 
 just sent away the gift of the living, he felt awk- 
 ward : he therefore civilly excused himself, and 
 beguiled the day with his bailiff, the rough viscount 
 Portargis, and the purified I\iiss Aubrey. 
 
 Having waited on the pleasure of the village- 
 taylor, and now with great delight seen his lovely 
 boy equipt to advantage, Lord Luxmore dismist 
 the nurse ; and that he might not do a rude thing 
 by iMrs. Aubrey, he took her daughter in one hand 
 and Portargis in the other, and made at once a 
 visit of restoration, of taking leave, i\nd of con- 
 dolence. 
 
 IMrs. 
 
iSCi THE COUNTESS AND GERfRtJt)]^. 
 
 Mrs. Aubrey, after returning thanks for hi^ 
 lordship's frkfidit/ Idridrtess, in letting Gertrude 
 remain at ^ the house' during the ^ confusion' miA 
 ' vexation' of her father's death, opened the bu- 
 siness on which she wislied for ^n interview with 
 the patron of the living. She hinted the merits 
 and almost the claims of the gentleman who had 
 assisted Mr. Aubrey daring his illness, in such- 
 terms as made his lordsiiip suppose that, by be- 
 stowing the living on him, he might have saved 
 Mrs. Aubrey the trouble of a removal. To crush 
 this young hope, he was forced to tell the truth; 
 and Mrs. Aubrey's real sorrow could not tlien be 
 doubted. She was in some measure to be ex- 
 cused; for she was a weak spoiled woman, and 
 left in absolute poverty, witliout a home or friends. 
 To expressions of compassion, and an assurance 
 that her convenience should be consulted, the earl 
 added the far greater consolation of a fifty-pound 
 bank note ; and having by a little stratagem got 
 rid of Gertrude, to avoid the uproar of grief m 
 the separation of the children, he pre|)ared to ga 
 
 again into shire, to visit his obliged relation, 
 
 and to deposit what he now regarded more than 
 ever as an inestimable treasure, in the hands of a 
 man who was to rid him of all anxiety for some 
 years. 
 
 Poor Gertrude's soi-row, when she saw her com- 
 panion taken from her was periiaps the most 
 genuine that the human heart can feci She was, 
 by her mother's imprudence, aware of her loss too 
 
 soon 
 8- 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. ifil 
 
 ^0011. Something omitted, obliged Lord L'jxmorc 
 to stop at the rectory house in his way from Lux- 
 more : she cangiit a glimpse of Pcrtargis in the 
 carnage : she would have thrown herself under 
 the wheels ; while he, amused by the novelty of 
 his situation^ and attracted by the glasses, the 
 tassels and cushions, noticed her as little as if she 
 had been a stranger, or he had been deaf. 
 
 Circumstances had proved a hot-bed to the friend- 
 ship between the earl and his cousin ; and to return 
 to the hospitality of a man whom he had obliged, 
 could not but be pleasant to the feelings of the fcr- 
 iner. He expected, indeed, though before Perfectly 
 satisfied with his reception, and subsequently con- 
 vinced by the manner in vrhich the favor had been 
 accepted, that it was duly felt, to find his relation 
 still farther conciliated ; but he was mistaken. Mr. 
 Sydenham neither bowed lower, nor smiled oftencr, 
 nor listened more attentively, nor left his pupils 
 for his lordship's company, at all longer than 
 m the first visit. — At their meeting, he respectfully 
 took the hand that had conferred the favor ; and 
 with an English dignity, said, * My lord, you have 
 inade me easy for life : I shall now- be able to 
 maintain my son at the university with the ac^» 
 vantages of a gentleman ; and I owe it all to your 
 lordship : I must endeavor to acknowledge it in 
 my care for your boy. The education of thosd 
 now in my house, I shall finish, that I may net 
 ,put those to inconvenience who have relied oii 
 me : but as I see my son can exert himself on t! % 
 impulse of his mind, I shall take no more.' 
 yoL. I, n tord 
 
l6i- THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 Lord Luxmore at this moment was raised to m% 
 ec&tacy of virtue : his feelings choked his utterance^ 
 and he could only say — the properest words he 
 could have said — ^ God bless you in your new- 
 situation !' — His respect for his kinsman was still; 
 increased by his disinterested rejection of the 
 power he possessed of holding the living of Lux- 
 more with that on which he now resided ; and 
 having offered to his patron every attention that 
 his call from his own country, and the vicinity to 
 his estate, might render useful and practicable, the 
 earl had the further satisfaction of availing himself 
 of Mr. Sydenham's counsel on many important 
 points ; and a few days were spent, without one 
 visit from tlie demon of ennui, though the duties' 
 of his host often left hi-m to himself; but against 
 these vacancies there was a provision of agreeable 
 books, a fine country, a respectable neighborhood, 
 to which the friend of Mr. Sydenham, even had 
 he not been a lord, would have found an equally 
 favoi'able introduction. Before his departure, he 
 had the comfortable certainty that Portargis would 
 be perfectly happy in his change of abode : and, 
 Avith a reluctance beyond what he suspected him- 
 self * weak enough' to feel, he quitted all that he 
 felt happy in possessing, the attachment of a 
 worthy man, and the promise of pride and comfort 
 in the heir to his worldly advantages. 
 
 To Lord Luxmore's great surprise, and cer- 
 tainly to his greater relief, he leamt, on his arriving 
 at the town-house, that the countess had removed 
 to her retlreinent on Richmond terrace. The 
 1 porter 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GEUTRUDE. 163 
 
 |)Orter gave him, as he alighted, a letter^ which 
 was to explain her ladyship's departure. The earl 
 bpened it, as he proceeded towards his library^ 
 and stopt, half way, to digest and laugh at thi^ 
 conjugal epistle : 
 
 * Lord Lux more 
 
 I ha.yejust heYdJ'ro7n IMrs, 
 Aubrey how you have distressed her What U 
 fifty pound in her situation poor woman It is 
 just throwing so miich money into the tire I dotii 
 see why the person she recommended might not 
 have had Luxmore I understand too you have 
 sent the dear child to your relation just as it" I 
 had no rite to be asked You may take your cxvn 
 pleasure in this if you please butt ]\irs Aubrey 
 shall not be ill used I shall take hex and her dear 
 little girl into my family and as I hear Sydenham 
 is to have Luxmore you uiaij let it or sell it if you 
 like for I shall never set eyes on the place, again 
 or will I leave this place till you are set off since 
 I see I am nobody 
 
 N. Luxmore' 
 
 Hi& lordship had too much good hature to im- 
 pute to Mrs. Aubrey more than was her du^ share 
 in this business ; and he knew too well the value 
 of his wife's displeasure, to fret at having excited 
 it ; he scorned to justify himself, and left the king- 
 dom with all the spld^or appertaining to his high 
 office, without attempting to see, or condescerTding 
 to write to Lady Luxmore* As soon as- he was 
 u 2 gQtt^i 
 
t64 THE COUNTESS AND GEHTRtTD^. 
 
 gone, she same to town, drove to his lorcishipV 
 solicitor, and to the banking-house at which he 
 kept cash — found herself — thanks to Mr. Syden- 
 ham's success in pleading her cause — well pro- 
 vided—sent for Mrs. Aubrey, inviting her to enjoy 
 a London spring in the iirst three months of her 
 \\'idowhood, and pointed at the earl's cruelty in 
 depriving her of her son, by her fondness fbr the 
 little Gertrude. 
 
 The faults of one half of the world make the 
 merits of the other half; Lady Luxmore's were at 
 present all founded on the implied delinquency of 
 her husband. She was not by nature kind ; but 
 she became so, that he might appear the contrary : 
 — she was not liberal, but that it might seem as if 
 he alone had restrained her generosity, she spent 
 ostentatiously : her ill humor had, for some time, 
 made her fancy herself in bad health, and live 
 much at home : she now lived in the gaze of all, 
 and felt greatly raised in consequence by the flat- 
 tering coni;ratalations of those who bid the world 
 rejoice that the fetters were taken off * so cbarai- 
 ing, so superior a woman.' Mrs. Aubrey and her 
 daughter were dressed at her expence, and a share 
 of flattery was demanded for them. The child 
 was supposed * the happiest little girl in the world ; 
 and Mrs. Aubrey could not do otherwise than 
 confirm the supposition. 
 
 All went on well for three months. Mrs. Au- 
 brey s mind did not possess^'a soil in which sorrow 
 Tjould take deep root; and in exchanging a sickly 
 •Jiusband for a generous friend, she could not but 
 . ■■ : ' see 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 1^5 
 
 see her advantage. Neither had she any dislike to 
 tlie amusements of London, or the expressions hj 
 which she sometimes heard herself described as 
 * that interesting widow,' * that lovely victim of sor- 
 row," or ' that fascinating ]\Irs. Aubrey.' Lady Lux- 
 more, on her part, had the gratification of telling all 
 her visitors, as soon as she had sent her friend out 
 of tiie room on some artificial errand, how timely 
 had been her interposition, how wretchedly poor 
 Mr. Aubrey had died, how unfeeling had been 
 Lord Luxmore, and, in effect, how good, how very 
 good, she had been herself. 
 
 Gertrude was not quite so happy as she appear- 
 ed : she felt grievously, even when at Richmond, 
 the want of a spacious garden ; and still more did 
 she miss the companion who used to join and to 
 aid her sports. The chairs, when turned into 
 horses, and harnessed to the best of her ability. 
 Mould not run : she was not perfect in the guidance 
 of a hoop; she was only learning to skip: she 
 could spin a peg-top, but Poitargis had promised 
 to teach her to take it up. In short, ail her boy- 
 ish exercises were defective, and she had not spirit 
 to recommence them. 
 
 : A substitution, indeed, was proposed by ]\frs. 
 Aubrey, and acceded to by tiie countess ; and a 
 stud of dolls was got together to make good to 
 Gertrude the loss of her companion and her sports. 
 It was very puzzhng to the ladies, that Gertrude, 
 who was remarkably fond of children, spurned a 
 doll, liow few are capable of developing the 
 feelings of the young mind ! and hovv absuvdly do 
 
 half 
 
16^ THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 half of us reason on it ! When a baby-doll would 
 not please her, they bought her one drest like f^ 
 young gentleman, and called it Portq.rgis. Ger- 
 trude demolished the impostor at a (dIow. 
 
 Nothing sped well till she turned her views ; and 
 then, having made iriendships with the servants, 
 she enjoyed new delii^hts. The countess and Mrs. 
 Aubrey had their own amusements ; and they were 
 Such as needed not the presence of Gertrude ; she 
 was, therefore, sometimes forgotten, or, when re- 
 collected and recalled, the employments of winding 
 worbted, and picking coffee^ served to keep her 
 quiet. 
 
 In her frequent or almost inces.sant triiantries 
 from the place where she ought to have been, her 
 delights were in the kitchen, shelling peas, topping 
 and tailing gooseberries^ stripping currants, par- 
 ing apples, and such occupations; at other times 
 fclie stole down at the servants* eating-hours, and 
 got rashers of bacon, toasted cheese, sugared 
 bread and butter, and fermenting preserves, 
 enough to have killed half a dozen puny chil- 
 dren. For such purposes, she often sat on the 
 coachmans knee, and heard, over and oyer again, 
 the history of all the horses and dogs he had been 
 acquainted with ; and Mhen more at leisure, she 
 attended on the under-foctman while he cleaned 
 knives, and thus got an insight into the useful 
 science of making brick-dust. Leajning of every 
 sort, save this, was out of her reach : indeed, there 
 was no time for it, either on the part of those who 
 should have been the teachers, or their pupil. 
 
 Lat!5 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. l67 
 
 Late hours make late hours; and it required some 
 exertion in the principals of the house, to rise, 
 breakfast, read the newspapers, and perform all 
 the idleness of tlie morning, before night ; while 
 -little miss's various, companions and avocations, 
 'her own meals, her attendance on those of the 
 servants, and the formidable business of being 
 made clean, left only space for her accompanying 
 Lady Luxmore and her mama, that she might be 
 shewn in their morning-round. 
 
 In the course of the summer, an excursion to 
 Tunbridge was talked of; and Lady Luxmore was 
 a little surprised to find it not agreeable to her 
 uniformly acquiescing companion ; this, however, 
 was no impediiBent : the orders wer^ given, and 
 preparations were making. J\lrs. Aubrey's dejec- 
 tion increasing, Lady Luxmore broke through her 
 resolution of not regarding it, and enquired the 
 cause. She was answered with agitation and ap- 
 prehension, that the ^ impossibility of supportino* 
 an external appearance, fit for a person so honored 
 as she was by her ladyship's condescension, was 
 the weight on her spirits: might she be permitted 
 to take care of the house in town during the time 
 X)f her ladyship's absence, how happy she should 
 he !' . ' 
 
 This was not to be thought on :'to no alone to 
 Tunbridge was shocking ; and at this season of 
 the year, there was hardly any body avIio was not 
 already engaged in some summer-sclieme.^, A 
 small bank-note settled the business : the receiver 
 was overwhelmed with gratitude, and the donor 
 
 . seat 
 
168 THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 
 
 jsent her to a distant part of the house, while sho 
 entertamed her next visitor with ^ poor Mrs. Au- 
 brev's poverty,' and her ready cure lor it. 
 
 The day for the journey was approaching; and 
 Mrs. Aubrey was much occupied. A young man, 
 whom she styled a nephew of her deceased hus- 
 band's, and called Captain Smith, had, from the 
 time of her coming to town, visited her frequently, 
 and was now ahiiost daily with her: his manners 
 were extremely prepossessing, and his person 
 would have justified any miss of five and forty in 
 any indiscretion, had love been her excuse. This 
 young man called, by appointment, the day before 
 that named for the Tunbridge expedition ; and 
 JJrs. Aubrey remained at home to receive him, 
 having begged the countess to excuse her, just that 
 once, from shopping with her, as she had business 
 of importance respecting ' poor dear Mr. Aubrey's 
 affairs,' to transact with her ladyship's favorite. 
 Captain Smith. And business of importance it 
 certainly was ; no less than an assignation for the 
 purpose of stealing a wedding at the parish- church. 
 Her'-ladyship having still nmch to do in the pur- 
 chasing department, had been advised by Mrs. 
 Aubrey to set out at eleven ; and in a quarter of 
 an hour after, the lover was to attend his mistress 
 with a hackney-coach, to take away herself and her 
 moveables to a house in a fashionable street, which 
 he had prevailed on her to believe was his own re-r 
 sidence, and from whence Mrs. Aubrey meant to 
 send a letter she had already written, imploring La- 
 iiy Luxmore's forgiveiicss of a rash and unadvised 
 
 step, 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 1^9 
 
 «tep, the folly of a moment, and the effect of the 
 most earnest persuasion, and leaving it entirely at 
 her ladyship's option to continue her present care 
 of the little girl, and consequently in process of 
 time to educate, clothe, maintain, and provide 
 for her. 
 
 Mrs. Aubrey had told the servants that Captain 
 Smith would come to take her baggage to the inn, 
 that Lady Luxmore's carriage might not be loaded; 
 and not being quite ready when he arrived, she, 
 fortunately for his plans, sent down a message de- 
 siring him to get her trunks into the coach. -< 
 
 He had been shewn into the room where the 
 countess had been sitting, and on a table of which 
 were collected, ready for the journey, some of her 
 possessions, consisting of line laces, jewels, and 
 money, packed in a very commodious travelling- 
 case, and waiting only for the completion of its 
 contents, by what she was then abroad to pur- 
 chase. It was easy to guess by the external, that 
 this case was of value, and it did not escape the 
 contemplation of Captain Smith. He took, from 
 another part of the room, enough of that which 
 belonged to Mrs. Aubrey, to hide the rest of his 
 booty; and, in a few seconds, had jumped into the 
 coach and driven off, telling the servant at the 
 door he should return in a few minutes for the rest 
 of Mrs. Aubrey's trunks. It is needless to say he 
 did not keep his promise. 
 
 "When Lady Luxmore returned from her Bond- 
 street fatigues, she found Mrs. Aubrey in an agita- 
 
 tation, 
 
170 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 tation, which she was in vain endeavoring to con- 
 ceal under the appearance of business. This agi* 
 tation was not, indeed, occasioned by her know- 
 ledge of her patroness's loss ; for of that they were 
 equally ignorant at present ; but it arose from her 
 conviction, that she had lost her promised hus- 
 band, and about one half of her wardrobe. Too 
 weak to conquer her feelings, and too simple to 
 conceal them, she threw herself on her knees and 
 confest * the rash ^tep,' she had engaged to take, 
 and the manner in which she had been checked. 
 The countess instantly recollecting the fraud put on 
 her, was going to reply, but looking round, the 
 unoccupied table caught her eye, and she exclaim- 
 ed, '" Good God ! where are my jewels ?' 
 
 Mrs. Aubrey, petrified, rcnjaincd on her knees. 
 Gasping and staring, she too looked at the table ; 
 and then her situation rushing on her mind, she 
 sunk dowh, deprived of all sense by the horror of 
 the implication even she could foresee. Lady Lux- 
 more, calling for her servants and her travelling- 
 ease, left her on the floor to recover at leisure ; and 
 at the expiration of an hour of fruitless enquiry, 
 bdng rerninded of her by a message of the utmost 
 humility, she replied by a request that she would 
 leave the house instantly. 
 
 Even in the depth of this distress, and the still 
 greater profundity of her childish ignorance, Mrs. 
 Aubrey was too prudent to make her daughter a 
 sharer in her misfortune. She went alone, and 
 found a lodszin^ in the neii^hborhood, and from 
 thence the next day wrote, a letter to her ladyship, 
 
 exculpating 
 
THE COXJNTESS AND dERTRUBE, l^J 
 
 iC-KCulpating herself, as far as she was able, from 
 the worst part of the suspicion she was exposed to. 
 It was impossible to suspect her of a participation 
 an the swindling transaction: it was evident to all 
 those whom Lady Lux more, in her dismay, got 
 round her as counsellors, that Mrs. Aubrey had 
 been the dupe of a common cheat ; but nothing 
 she had to otYer obtained any attention at the pre- 
 sent moment, nor would her memorial have met 
 any reply, had she not most humbly offered to take 
 Gertrude ^to starve with her.' To a second letter 
 on the subject, the countess replied, verbally, that 
 the child should stay with her, on condition that 
 the mother never again appeared. 
 
 So ended the friendship with Mrs, Aubrey, who 
 Jiad been beholden to her husband's character "for 
 the prop of her own weakness, and who now, in 
 the depth of her distress, betook herself into Scot- 
 land, where, with an increase of sorrow and dis' 
 cretion, she resolved for ever to hide herself. 
 
 The pillaged countess had not been wanting in 
 using proper means for the recovery of her pro- 
 perty ; but n^t chusing to offer tlie reward her le- 
 gal friends proposed, she was never called on for 
 that which she would have given. The jewels she 
 had lost, were not, in quantity, Enough to afflict 
 her inconsoHbly : she could comfort herself, that 
 they consisted only of her summer- wear ; and per- 
 haps the shame of being obliged to retract all her 
 €ncomiums on herself for her choice of Mrs. Au- 
 drey as a friend, kept her for a few days, in some 
 tnea&ure^ siieat on a subject that otherwise must 
 
 have 
 
172 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 have made her eloquent. She had, in one in- 
 stance, met from her plain-speaking relation, Mr. 
 Sterling, he who had in vain striven to prevent her 
 marriage, the mortifying reply' * I knew how it 
 would turn out : what could you expect but folly 
 from a foolish woman? — how could you be so im- 
 prudent as to kave the case on the table ?' and she 
 began to feel discouraged in complaint. 
 
 ''i'he most material part of her loss was her half- 
 year's income, which, on receiving it from Lord 
 Luxmore s banker, she had put in the same place 
 of safety as the unfortunate jewels. In vain she 
 demanded to have it made good : to her infinite sur- 
 prize and vexation she felt the circumscribing 
 power of the earl's orders, and learnt that she had 
 already gone to the extent of her hopes. 
 
 The consternc tion that seizes the minds of im- 
 provident persons, when they are punished into 
 experience, no one i\ho has duly calculated the 
 chances of this world, can conceive ; they run into 
 .the fire, and wonder they are burnt ; they dance 
 on a precipice, and till the moment of destruction, 
 neither believe precept, nor heed example. Lady 
 Luxmore, as if she had never before heard of silly 
 widows or handsome sharpers, spent some hours in 
 wondering jjthat Mr. Aubrey's relict could be such 
 a fool, and Captain Smith, * who looked so much 
 like a man of fashion, and was so agreeable and 
 well drest,' could be a swindler : but had the earl 
 •been entirely out of the way, and the captain 
 fairly /;/ it, w ho w ill say he might not have swindled 
 her ladyship into a misfortune, more than equivat- 
 
 lent 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE; 175 
 
 lent to her present loss; for, stili ' Captain Smith 
 was a very handsome young man, and so much the 
 man of fashion !' 
 
 Well! -vvhat was to be done? Why, the Tun- 
 bridge ideas must give way, for want of money, to 
 ideas of a cheaper sort : her ladyship must oecono- 
 mise, and let her house at Richmond, and, for the 
 present, stay where she was, because she had not 
 tliC meaiis of moving. She, therefore, remained in 
 town, and received the visits of her condolins 
 friends, who came to enquire /ioz£; /> refl://j/ was. — 
 This was soon intolerable. The expressions, * I 
 looked round ;' * I stared ;' ^ I was petrified,' would 
 not bear repeating, without weariness, above tvro 
 or three hundred times ; and she had not yet seen 
 half the list of those who had sent to enquire aftet' 
 her and her jewels. Vexed beyond endurance in 
 all ways, she could resolve on nothing at all to the 
 purpose of obtaining a respite from this hourly re- 
 newal of her griefs, but betaking herself to Liix- 
 more, whither she was sure no one would follow 
 her, even to hear * how it really was.' 
 
 CJIAP. 
 
i74i THE COUNTESS ANB ^EUtRtji>Ei 
 
 CHAPTER Xi. 
 
 Prudent retrenchments. A son introduced to his mother. A 
 folitt r€ccpti07i. The parson ditptd. Cheap protection. A 
 
 child*-s drest. Anecdote of the. Duchess of Q '5 court- 
 
 dre6S. The spjft ring of being ridiculous. Cowpers opimofiof 
 thejvysofchddhood. A kind intviy'erence. Fathers educo' 
 ting dai/^hters. Living instances. A well-educated, school- 
 mistress. He knuK not hoxv ivc ham to read, lite first spark 
 of a passion for knowledge. JJozv to avoid learning the alpha" 
 het. Inconxcnicncts of an ardent spirit. Dancings li^w td 
 remedy short shoes. A young terniogant. 
 
 To Luxmore, therefore, the countess retreated, 
 having first retrenched every superfluous article of 
 expence, and taking with her, besides Gertrude, 
 only her men-servants and her own waiting-maid, 
 who was not sorry to have seen the favorite out of 
 favor. Gertrude could be no vexation; for she 
 bad been industriously taught to mention her mo- 
 ther only as her * naughty mama, who made poor 
 dear Lady Luxmore cry and go without her din- 
 ner.' 
 
 Mr. Sydenham was preparing for his remove ; 
 and in his first visit to oversee his workmen, when 
 all but Portargis and his own son were withdraw n 
 for the vacation, he waited on the countess. He 
 did not take the viscount in his hand, wishing first 
 to know a little of her ladyship > and this little 
 
 would, 
 
THE COUNTESS AND qERTRUDE. IJS 
 
 would, perhaps, have entirely hindered his inU'o-- 
 ducing him, had not one of those caprices to which 
 some people are subject, made the lady assume. a 
 character very foreign from her own. 
 
 She had, before she ever saw Mr. Sydenham,: 
 with a degree of candor and integrity worthy o£ 
 imitation, resolved to^ hate him ; but this was at 
 the same time that she resolved never to see Lim. 
 Now that she found herself, in some measure, 
 obliged to see him, she thought of a method of vex- 
 ing her husband, a pleasure tar superior even to 
 that of distressing the parson. She could not 
 doubt that Lord Luxmore had represented her to 
 his cousin, as she knew she merited : she could 
 not suspect that his pride had prevented his saying 
 more than what might be translated by, ' I did a 
 foolish thing in marrying a disagreeable woman for 
 money.' She concluded herself odious in M^. Sy- 
 denham's eyes, and consequently supposed she 
 stood alone against the united hatred of her lord 
 and his relatives. Could she remove this preju- 
 dice, the balance of pi)wer might lean to her, and 
 the earl might be in the minority on questions 
 where her interest w-as implicated, or her will in- 
 terfered. 
 
 When Mr. Sydenham was announced, as waitr 
 ing for permission to see her ladyship, she, there- 
 fore, went forward towards the door of the room 
 to meet him. She recollected, perhaps, a stage 
 attitude of encourageinent and conciliation; f^nd 
 a^, though she was compelled by the verdict of her 
 glass to acknowledge herself ' rather a plain wo- 
 man,' 
 
ff6 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 man,' she valued herself much on her height and 
 perpendicularity, she felt no doubt of his ' being 
 struck with her.' In her reception of him, she 
 overstept all bounds of intermediate ceremony :■ 
 she recognised him as a> f)rivileged friend : she 
 enquired after her son, and protested it Avas very 
 good of Air. Sydenham to take so much trouble to 
 call on her. 
 
 Nothing is so winning as a frank deportment ; 
 nothing so graceful where any superiority makes 
 frankness condescension: we accept it as con- 
 fidence and distinction ; our self-love is flattered : 
 the happiness of anotlier seems, in some measure, 
 at our mercy ; and even a generous mind is pleased 
 with the loan of power, it would not lor the world 
 use. 
 
 Mr. Sydenham was so far a dupe, as to give 
 her ladyship a decent rank in his estimation. She 
 did not, indeed, appear greatly gifted by nature; 
 but still there seemed about her * a desire to do 
 right,' and he saw ' nothing that might not very 
 well be borne with.' Her story of Mrs. Aubrey 
 redounded to her credit, since it was no disgrace 
 not to have fathomed such folly ; her conduct to 
 little Gertrude, as she described it, was meritori- 
 ous ; and her resolution to retire from the world 
 for a time, because she had been pillaged and could 
 npt for the present maintain the appearance neces- 
 sary for her rank, was not absurd. With these 
 favorable sentiments, and a hope that he could 
 shew his gratitude to his patron by attention to his 
 consort, he, without fear or scruple, permitted the 
 
 mother 
 
tm COUNTESS A^^D GERTRUDE. 177 
 
 mother and son to meet as often as was consistent 
 with the viscount's diligence, in this short residence 
 at the rectory-house. The affectionate mother, be- 
 ing in Mr. Sydenham's sight at the first interview, 
 overwhelmed her son with caresses, while Ger- 
 trude, whom absence had made a little shy, drew 
 back, as if half afraid of an imperfect welcome from 
 "him. But she had no cause for fear. Portartyis 
 struggled to disengage himself from the strong 
 grasp of his mother, and darted forward towards 
 his not-forgotten play- fellow, whose glistening eye 
 and repetition of ' dear, dear Portargis,' told how 
 little effect distance had on her heart. 
 
 But whatever change or appearance of change, 
 prudence might have made in Lady Luxmore's 
 plans, none was effected in the place she was by 
 necessity doomed, for some time, to inhabit : it 
 was still odious to her; but the injury to her finan- 
 ces so strongly called for patience, that she sub- 
 mitted tolerably well. She let her house in town 
 for the space of time she thought it would be ne^ 
 cessary to oeconomise, and, remaining quietly where 
 she was, she extracted a new amusement from her 
 necessities, and made a sport of oeconomy: her 
 thoughts were now wholly turned to accumulation; 
 Lady Luxmore's pigs, geese, butter, and eggs, were 
 to be bought; and she descended to means of 
 wealth, similar, perhaps, to those by which her 
 own family had, at first, been established. She 
 was delighted with this tension of her mind, be- 
 cause it was new ; and when it ceased to be new, 
 it pleaded the still stronger prescription of habit. 
 
 VOL. I. N Thd 
 
178 THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 
 
 Tiie fras;ality of her kitchen was notorious ; and 
 considering her general temper, she might justly 
 have shared in the witty quibble occasioned by the 
 same error in a greater character, who was de- 
 scrii)ed as keeping ' Lent in his kitchen, and 
 Passion- week in ins parlor ali the year.' 
 
 Tiie ceconomy of the buttery hatch was not ex- 
 ceeded by that which, almost without her feel- 
 in '~r it, was practised on little Gertrude, whose 
 powers of amusini:!; cheaply wore now, in this dis- 
 mal seclusion, become tiie ligature of her ladyship's 
 aftections. To live alone was impossible : no 
 companion coidd she have so unoffending and un- 
 expensive; and therefore, to keep her word to her 
 lord in revenge for his disposal of lord Portargis 
 without her concurrence, she was still retained. 
 
 Unfortunately for the poor girl, there was, 
 amongst the hoards which her ladyship brought 
 into the family, an old carved walnut-tree or wains- 
 cot chest, containing many articles of her mother's 
 clothes, together with renmants of bed-hangings, 
 long since obsolete : nothing in this paroxysm of 
 saving had escaped tlie countess's recollection ; and 
 whenever Gertrude wanted clothing, this chest 
 was resorted to. It contained, indeed, nothing fit 
 for the wc-dv of such a child, or, indeed, of any one 
 else, but it was convenient; and as the tine large- 
 patterned damasl.s and chintz-patterned cottons 
 had once been very costly, tiie countess, however 
 differently she judged for herself in the article of 
 fashion, was decidedly of opinion that they were 
 ' only too good' for the purpose. At a very small 
 
 ex pence, 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. ]7d 
 
 expence, a villacre-sempstress was employed in 
 accoutring the little damsel, who, scarce more 
 than six years old, stood forth arrayed in gold- 
 colored damask, diversified with leaves rivalling 
 any church-yard dock, or in a species of manufac- 
 ture from cotton, stout enough for a barge-sail, 
 and displaying an epitome of much more than was 
 contained in the creation *. 
 
 We will not suppose feelings so low as those of 
 Eenvy and jealousy, had crept into Lady Luxmore's 
 I mind; It is true her pleasure in having Gertrude 
 [taken for her own child, had given way to that of 
 t telling how she still loved her, and how little that 
 Hove was merited by her mother's conduct: but 
 (Gertrude, at present, was no competitor for an}^ 
 • gratification Lady Luxmore could enjoy. Why 
 tthen did she delight, for delight she certainly did, 
 i in making her a figure for scorn to point at, even 
 l' where expence was ?2ot concerned? 
 
 However unaccountable it was that she should 
 I do this, not only in the parsimonious quality of 
 ji her garments, but even in the make of them, so it 
 [ was; and almost tlie first sentiments- the child was 
 capable of forming, were those of inferiority and 
 mortification. They were sometimes counterba- 
 lanced by her high natural spiiits, but they re- 
 
 * We havelioanl, but we do not venture to. avouch it as a 
 
 fact, that the Duchess of Q , when a young woman, 
 
 revenged herself on her mother, who had ceconomised in or- 
 dering her presentation-dress, by arraying herself with that 
 part of the petticoat turned in sight, were a more frugal 
 silk was substituted for the rich material of the rest of the 
 jgarment. 
 
 N 2 turned 
 
180 THE CdUXTESS AND GERTRUDE* 
 
 turned whenever ths servants set up a shot 
 of merriment on seein-g; ' the little figure oi 
 fan' in some new habiliment : the abasement she 
 then ftlt; can be conceived by none who suppose 
 a child's mind always childish. 
 
 Dress, at every time of life, ought to be a 
 subject of small solicitude ; and at a very early 
 period, it should be of tl>e least. May all mo- 
 Ihers, by their prudence, prevent the many mis- 
 chiefs that result from too much attention to it I 
 but a regard to decency is a principle of our i-eli- 
 gion; and in directing, with propriety, the subject 
 as it arises in young minds, tiiere is, as in almost 
 every Office well performed, some degree of charity. 
 We have no negative actions : whatever we do, 
 produces in itself, or its example, someeifect; and 
 that effect which is to last the longest, is that which • 
 should be the most regarded. A child's mind i* 
 easily elated or depressed: it has not altitude 
 enough to reach above a trifling pleasure or pain ; 
 ^tmd while adults, in similar circumstances, can 
 discern some consideration that moderates enjoy- 
 ment, or supports the mind under privation, a 
 child takes the question abstractedly; and imagin- 
 ed good and evil admit of no qualification *. 
 
 Ill 
 
 * Cowpcr shewed liIs intimacy with the feelings of ouf 
 young years, when he said, '• There are few, perhaps, in the 
 world, who have not cause to look back with regret on the days, 
 of infancy; yet, to say the truth, I suspect some deception 
 in this; for infancy itself has its cares; and though we can- 
 not conceive how trifles could alTect u^ much, it is certains 
 
 they 
 
THE COUNTESS ANT> GERTRUDE. 181 
 
 In the present case, Gertrude had no jx^rcep- 
 tion but that she was ridiculous even to those whom 
 she knew, judging by the countess's treatment of 
 her servants, to be beneath her; and she had no 
 choice of feeling, but abject mortification or har- 
 dened contumacy; the former was the safer, but 
 not tlie most readily assumed by a mind Hke lier's : 
 she saw and heard herself laughed at, and she 
 \\'as indignant : not a'A-are that had she remained 
 passive, she would have suffered less and interested 
 more, she opposed infant dignity and puerile per- 
 verseness to what she had to endure, and would 
 sometimes defend, as if she had had the liberty of 
 chusing, what she felt as her punishment and dis- 
 grace. 71iis rendered her situation intolerable, 
 where she had, while handsomely clad in mourning, 
 found her pleasures ; and it had the good effect of 
 chasing her from the kitchen and the stable to the 
 chambers. 
 
 Mr. Sydenham, daring his short stay at the 
 rectory- house, seeing, in his visits to die countess, 
 that the very small pains already bestowed on the 
 little Aubrey would be entirely lost, and with a 
 prospect of very bad substitutions, if she continued 
 in this state of savage idleness, became interested 
 tor the child ; and feeling himself in that situation, 
 which, if her father had lived, would have sup- 
 plied the deficiency, a restless anxiety to dq some- 
 
 they 4id. Trifles they appear now ; but such they were nut 
 then.' Most truly eoul4 Gertrude bear her testimony to this 
 truth.' 
 
 4 thing 
 
182 THE COVNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 thin<y for her, occupied his meditations. As a 
 child very little like any other he had ever seen, 
 she drew his attention ; and he thought, he could 
 predict that nmnagenient very different from that 
 under which she must be reared, v.ould be neces- 
 sary to correct the strong shades, and bring out 
 the colors of her character. Had there been no 
 * boys in the way,' he would have indulged 
 the inclination he felt, to take to her as his 
 own, and to try an experiment in education* : he 
 
 had 
 
 * How" much the world wouhl be benefited and obliged by 
 a few cxperimcnis of tliis kind, the success witii which some 
 already made have been attended, shews us. We shall be 
 asked, we well know, What father can have lei>;ure to attend, 
 to the education of his daughters? We meet the reproving 
 question, and reply ' IMany:' and we will venture still far- 
 ther, and say, that those fathers who have, within the limited 
 circuit of our observation, been the most aiding in the edu- 
 cation t)f girls, have been uniformly men with whom lci.'>ure 
 was scarce. The old friend of our family, Dr, Lawrence, a 
 London phyftciaii, a man of sciontific pursuit, and with a 
 numerous family, gave a daughter a classical education him- 
 self. Our erudite friend. Dr. Fellet, of St. Albans, to whose 
 hinted wish this work owes its existence, also in the midst of 
 the complex cares of a medical profession, and in a track 
 of it that might have excused neglect, took into his own 
 charge the mind and intellect of a daughter.^ — ^^For the sake 
 of our readers, we have tried to learn his system; but system 
 Lc had n/)ne, save that of acting as occasion made fit. We 
 will give what we got from him : he will forgive being made 
 useful. 
 
 * I followed no system,' said he : * I led nature, but it was 
 by a silken thread; and I never lost my temper. J did not 
 wish to make her a prodigy. | never pushed her faculties 
 beyond their powers; but 1 gave them fair encouragement, 
 I foui)d it, for a long wbilc; indeed till she wasj.iiear twenty 
 
 • ' Vear« 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. ] 83. 
 
 luad ideas on tlie subject which he v^ould have 
 ^vished to reaUse; but to his personal solicitudes, tlie 
 charge of the young viscount, and th^ home-edu- 
 cation of his son, were insuperable obstacles. 
 
 Seeking; in his n^iud for the next best o;ood he 
 might do ' tlie little Aubrey,' he thought on iiis 
 sister, the wiie of Captain lirett, who iiaving only 
 one ciiild, and that a daughter,. and she a few years 
 older than Gertrude, could, without much incon- 
 
 ycars of age, not at all vigrccable to her to read books of mere 
 aniubcmeiji; but uhtrii once {)revailcd on to read a few of 
 the best, she relishod thvm extremely. I happened to have 
 Jortin's life of i' rasraus on my table: she took, to it of her- 
 self, mid hunted outia Bayle all the references*; she has read 
 few books; but 1 have taken care they should be good. I 
 made her read PriJeaux's Connectiou, to accustom her or- 
 gans to didicult pronui.cialion. She has turned out all I 
 could wibli : she is a nice- little notable wife, knows all that- 
 is necessary to be done in a family, sets out her table well, 
 and does the honours eh'gantly : she is expert in all teminine 
 works, and not cledcient in any female attainment or ac(!om- 
 
 plibhment.' Another instance is that of .Mr. T— : _, a 
 
 clergyman in Uerkbhire, doing duty at a dislattce from hohie,' 
 and taking pupils; he has reared a daugiiter under ihany 
 opposing circujnstae.ces, and has given her all the advantages 
 his pupils have deiivod.from him; — she vyas educated- .with, 
 them ; and yet is as much admiied for her delicate elegance, 
 
 and her singular modesiy, as for her Knowledge. Mr. T 
 
 should, for the good of others, detail his method. \Ve knmv' 
 that such was the authority he maintained, even when not- 
 immediately on the spot, that no jjupil dared toucli^ even, a; 
 
 liiiger of the lovely little girl. Do not tell us, good fiier.ds, 
 
 v.liat can not be dcuie; — we tell ywu what cax be done. 
 Any thing good may be done, rf we vviH ir^' and 'persevere;-^' 
 and this sentiment we wish aj)pendod to the immortal l^ara" 
 celtusma, ' Ex\gl,'\kd expects evluv manto do his duty,' 
 
 veuience_j 
 
184 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 vciiience, have suffered her to share in her care and 
 kmdness; and Mrs. Brett might have been trusted, 
 and her alacrity in the service of a girl, bereft as 
 completely as any orphan of the benefit of parents, 
 Avould not have needed much to spur it: but there 
 are some things winch, though we cannot, or will 
 not, do them ourselves, we are not fond of perform- 
 ing by deputy ; and Lady Luxmore, * quite shocked* 
 at the idea of giving Mrs. Brett so much trouble, 
 and informing ^Ir. Sydenham that he did not know 
 what he undertook for, when he proposed his sis- 
 ter's beincj troubled \nth ' Miss,' ended the dis- 
 cussion, in which the parson was, as she thought, 
 a little presuming, by acceding to the half-measure 
 of sending ' ]\Iiss' for improvement to an old lady, 
 wJiOj possessing uncommon advantages of educa- 
 tion, had been con.pelled to resort to them for the 
 support of herself and a very ancient father, and 
 \vho had taken a house between the earl's mansion 
 and the town, in which she boarded and educated 
 a few girls, adding to her gains, which were not 
 great, by taking a few day-scholars. The hint 
 being given under the suggestion of relieving her 
 ladyship frbm that which must sometimes be fa- 
 tiguing, a contract was made for sending Gerti*ude, 
 On very low terms, atoned for by the honor of the 
 connection, every morning to be taught to read 
 and to ivork, but with an especial prohibition of 
 her learning * a word of French.' — * 1 do not un- 
 derstand it myself/ said Lady Luxmore, ' and 
 therefore it would not be proper that t^is child, 
 whom I keep entii-ely out of charity, poor thing! 
 
 as 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. J 85 
 
 as she has not another friend in the world, sac u Id 
 be karnt it.' — Mrs. Tonge was going to reply, 
 but, on second thoughts, she v. as silent : sha ven- 
 tured to ask, whether her ladyship did not think 
 * a quarter's dancing' would be well bcstov.ed oil 
 the young lady, as she certainly p(;kcd most terribly. 
 With some difficulty, the point was carried ; and 
 Gertrude, not knowing what she was to expect, 
 set out on the following Monday moriiing, with the 
 under-gardener lor her guide, and an unhemmed 
 glass-cloth for the footman, by way of praxis in the 
 art of using a needle. 
 
 Her dress had, as usual, been furnished from 
 the family-chest, all, excepting her hat, which 
 cheap, coarse, and of the village -forrii, \^as yet, as 
 being new and not ridicul'!:)as, a subject Oi i)ride. 
 She entered, in her own way, a large room ; at one 
 corner of which, sat good old stately Mrs. Tonge : 
 in the centre of the same side, and opposite the 
 door, an English teacher, and at the lower corner, 
 one of the same rank, but French in nation, and 
 thoroughly so in appearance. Mrs. Tonge was 
 more than commonly plain ; the English teacher 
 was handsome; the Frenchwoman fine; but to the 
 first, Gertrude felt iristantly attached; while for the 
 two others she conceived, on speaking to the for- 
 mer, and on looking at the latter, an invincible 
 aversion. Mrs Tonge was surprised at the Huency 
 w ith which she read. To her question ' who had 
 taken so much pains with her?' she had no answer 
 to return. When asked * how she had learned to 
 read so well ?' she could, with truth, say ' she did 
 
 not 
 
18() THE COUNTESS AND GERTiiUDE. 
 
 not know,' for she remembered nothing of being 
 taught but the 'vexation of going from ba to ab^ 
 which had appeared to her a sad inversion of the 
 settled order of things. Encouraged by Mrs. 
 Tonge, who was, very pardonably, seeking amuse- 
 ment in listening to her, she told how she hoped 
 she should have got on, when she liad learned ba, 
 and then she found it was all of no use in the 
 world, for it must be learnt backwards. — After 
 her lesson, she was called up again by Mrs. Tonge, 
 and, kept quiet by the injunction of a finger, she 
 waited till a young lady who was reading aloud, 
 paused. Gertrude's eyes had been fixed on the 
 reader's lips, and she could not take them off 
 when she stopt. Airs. Tonge now ordered her to 
 attend a little boy whom she beckoned to her, in go- 
 ing through the alphabet by sight and memory, but 
 perceiving no sign of attention, slie said louder, 
 ' Do you hear me, Miss Aubrey?' — * Yes,' said 
 she, * but do tell me what she there has been read- 
 ing; is that French?' ^ No,' said j\irs. Tonge, ' it 
 is Italian. — ' And what about?' ^ 'Tis Davila's 
 history of the civil wars of France,' said Mrs. 
 Tonge, witii periect good nature. ' Wars of 
 France?' repeated Gertrude, staring; ' but how. 
 she seems to like it ! shall I ever read Wars of 
 France r' ' Yes,' said Mrs. Tonge, ' if you are 
 good, and love books, and take pains.' ' I will 
 take pains,' said the ardent spirit : * but am 1 to 
 hear this boy? — what? his letters? — -why, he's as 
 tall as me; only measure: very well.'' — -She tQok 
 the book ; but, much to her surprise, and equally 
 
 to 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDf:. 187 
 
 to her embarrassment, she perceived several 
 of the letters blotted out with a pen. ^ Wliat's 
 this for ?' said she to her new pupil ; ' Say no- 
 thiuii;,' replied the disciple with a sort of cunning 
 more ludicrous than censurable: ' those are the 
 letters I do not know ; so I shall mi«s thctn ; and 
 you see she can't see them ; for I have blurred 
 them out' Not knowing how to proceed in a new 
 case, she referred to her principal : little master 
 was punished ; and Gertrude was instantly hated 
 by almost every one for exposing the culprit : she 
 had no means of defending or excusing herself: 
 and when she sat down in her place, she experien- 
 ced the first overt acts of the world's injustice ; but 
 it affected her iiltle ; something v/ithin told her she 
 was right, , and she repaid scorn with scorn, and 
 elbowing, with elbowing. She vv^as next called up 
 by the. French teacher : to this citation she demur- 
 red : it was Lady Luxmore's express order that 
 she should not be taught a ' word of French,' and 
 she resisted, till IMademoiselle making her repeat 
 u/ij dci{i\ irois, qiiatre, kc. on the strings of her 
 tent frauie, she submitted, for want of the mecins 
 of opposition. 
 
 But vviien siie was to go home, new distres-es 
 awaited her: the little malignants whom her ho- 
 nesty in tiie discharge of her office had stirred up, 
 had got to her new hat, • and with u dextrous ap- 
 plicciiiun of their fingers to the crown, which fiad 
 been fabricated of what is called chip, in its na- 
 tural state of Dutch importation, and in the way 
 least likely to endure iii usage, they had thrust the 
 
 centra 
 
185 THE COUNTESS AN^D GXRTEUCE. 
 
 centre into the fonn of a cone. She was in dis- 
 may : she could replace it very imperfectly ; but 
 what she could effect^ she did, with the conscious- 
 ness that what had been her only pride was now to 
 be numbered with her other many mortifications. 
 Another misery came in the shape of a message 
 from Mrs. Tonge to Lady Luxmore, stating that 
 her shoes were too short : this was too much to 
 bear : she took upon herself the vindication of her 
 shoes : * they were her best red shoes ; and her 
 others had holes in them.' 
 
 In her way home, she felt vastly inclined to 
 complain of the evils she had endured ; but still 
 she was convinced that, at any rate, the morning 
 at school was better than the morning at home : 
 she, therefore, went to the opposite extreme, and 
 suppressed not only her own complaint of her suf- 
 ferings, but that of Mrs. Tonge of the shoes. 
 
 The next day produced new sorrow : it was the 
 day of initiation in dancing ; and she was drest 
 for the purpose. As she was to wear her best, 
 that is, her most tawdry dress, she must wear her 
 best bonnet and cloke : the one was of blue, the 
 other of gold-color, edged with purple ; and that 
 Mrs. Tonge might see how tine she could be, she 
 marched up the school-room as she entered the 
 house, staring around her as if demanding applause 
 as the atonement for the cruelties of the preceding 
 day. But she was disappchited : suppressed 
 laughter in some, was, by a better feeling, reduced 
 to only ^ smile in others ; but the sentiment was 
 the same in its nature. * My dear,' said Mrs. 
 
 Tonge, 
 
THE COUXTI^SS AND GEHTRUDB. 18ff 
 
 Tonge, 'who dresses you so fine?' — 'The countess 
 of Lux more,' returned Miss, again looking round. 
 * And is this your dancing dress ?' — ' Yes ; but it 
 is not my best : I have clothes a great deal finer 
 than these, in London, much better than any of 
 tlie girls here ; but Lady Luxmore thinks these 
 quite good enough for a country day-school/— 
 Mrs. Tonge had seen too much of young minds not 
 to understand this and the workings of counte- 
 Bance with which it wtis accompanied. 
 
 ^l>e silenced the rising burst of laughter arouiad 
 fier, and only said, ' Well, my dear, take off your 
 walking-dress; for with your blue bonnet, your 
 yellow ^nd purple cloke, your embroidered gown, 
 and the green petticoat that peeps below it, to say 
 nothing of your scarlet shoes, you are finer than 
 any parrot T^ver saw.' Gertrude not knowing 
 how to understand this, did as she was bid ; and 
 the dancing-master soon made his appearance. 
 
 This new instructor, when she was introduced 
 to him, was pleased with her make and figure, the 
 strength of her joints, and the possibility of gaining 
 credit by her. The poking, and a bad inclination 
 bf her left foot, he cared not for; * they would,' he 
 said, ^ soon be corrected ; but she who had heard 
 of these faults without seeing any fair effort ta 
 correct them, till she supposed they wet'e alwa}^ 
 to remain with her, assured him that they were 
 not to be cured, for that she had worn a steel col- 
 lar, and Lady Luxmore had made her go barefoot 
 'three days; ' and yet she was no better.' The 
 ea.aster smiled, and next adverted to the unfortu- 
 nate 
 
190 THE COUNTESS A^^D G^ERTRUDE. 
 
 nate business of the short shoes. She was obliged 
 to confess she had not dared to mention them, and 
 the tears with which her high spirit condescended 
 to the confession, abated the dislike she was in 
 danixer of incurring all around her. 
 
 On returning home, she had no alternative; she 
 must mention her shoes, as her gardener-guidq was 
 likewise furnished with the fact : the evil was cured, 
 without expence of time or money, the next morn- 
 ing; for tiie weather being fortunately very finej 
 aad the paths quite dry, Lady Luxmore was cer- 
 tain she ' could take no harm' by the liberation of 
 her feet. She, therefore, ordered the footman, with 
 a knife, to cut across the extremity of the shoe ; 
 and Gertrude's foot instantly made its appearance 
 an inch beyond its scarlet scabbard. The laugh-^ 
 ter, at the moment of her entrance, was general ; 
 and the poor girl had nothing left but to brave it: 
 she. accused, she scolded, and by naming those 
 %vho had been the ringleaders in distressing her, 
 she raised a nest of hornets about her *: 
 
 Equally 
 
 * It is very much to be wished that some pains were taken 
 in cbllccting juvenile biography: the altt>mpt would carry 
 lis back nearer to those sources which furnish future materi- 
 als, than any -theory can do. Wc will offer a few verbal in- 
 stances of binjiplicity that occur to our recollection, as matter 
 of curiosity and aniuscment. A little girl of five years, who 
 had been uncommonly well trained under an exemplary mo- 
 ther, asked her brother, a year older, this question : « Do you 
 know, Robert, that after you die, your thinks will go to God }* 
 Asking her, if she knew the meaning oi persevering', she re- 
 plied, ' V/hy, persevering ^ being trying and taking pains/ 
 
 Taking 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. l^l 
 
 Equally exposed to error and to censure, by the 
 commendable and reprehensible parts of an ardent 
 
 temper, 
 
 Taking leave of her grandfather after dinner, and leaving 
 him ali)nc, she seemed to be going to wish him pleasant com- 
 pany ; but, as if recollecting the inconsistency of such a 
 wish, she altered it into, * I wish you a pleasant by — your- 
 self.' — Another child of the same sex, and nearly of the 
 same age, called her mother's attention to an iri-egularity at 
 the breakfast table, by saying, * JMama, my brother has got 
 the Irft mug,' meaning the urovg^ and not knowing that right 
 had two contraries. One a little older, being desired by her 
 father to ask for Potatoes, and not for Tatoes, the next day 
 asked him for Fo-turn/ps. 
 
 Another boy whf) had seen a water-mill casing with brick- 
 work, and afterwards saw Sadler's Wells Theatre repairing- 
 in a way that seemed similar, asked if that too was going to 
 be made into a mill. 
 
 Some merriment, but more vexation, has been produced, 
 by attempting to tutor children to behave well on particular 
 occasions. A deceased friend of our's taking a little boy to 
 spend a, summer-evening with his godmama, gave him c few 
 rules of conduct : she bade him shew civility to the master 
 of the house, and not mistake any of the servants for him ; 
 to drink only two cups of tea, and if he had any thing to eat 
 that had butter with it, to use his handkerchief. He pro- 
 mised obedience, but being ushered into the drawing-room by 
 a man of an appearance for which he was not prepared, he 
 turned round and said, ' Mama, am I to make a bow now ? 
 I can't tell whether this is a servant or a gentleman,' — this 
 was got over : — lea came ; ' -Mama, these cu[)s are not near so 
 large as our's in the nursery; must 1 say ' no more, thank 
 you, for only two of these?' — The lady of the hou^.e sent for 
 larger cups. About to help himself to what was offered to 
 cat, he paused, and cried out^ * Mama, I can't tell whether 
 there is bulterin these things; am I to pull out my handker- 
 chief?' Jt was understood that master wished for butter, and 
 
 it 
 
IPS THE C0U5CTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 temper, acting on the first impulse, and not having 
 sense enougii to perceive that what is right in the 
 end aimed at, is sometimes wrong in the means by 
 which we seek that end, she was in training to 
 leurn by experience the evils incurred by an ill-di- 
 rected zeal. Every body's business, every body's 
 cause Wcis Gertrude's; she eiiquired what every 
 fwae fv\7sts engaged in : slie offered her assistance to 
 everyone ; she wanted to try if she could not do 
 every one's work, and choking under the feelings 
 of mortified pride, when she was compelled to 
 see her own iaa-bility, :she then begged with diffi- 
 dence, equal to her former confidence, to be in- 
 structed, ^luch too liberal of her reproofs, but 
 seldom bestowing them where they were not in 
 some measure deserved, she was a terrible cham- 
 pion to the oppressed, to whom, however, she 
 could seldom render any better service than at- 
 tracting that ill humor to herself which had before 
 had another object. Of the world's injustice she 
 was in danger of forming a decided opinion, while 
 'She could not understand that she marred the 
 cause she supported by the intemperance of her 
 support. 
 
 Having by a gentle remonstrance from Mrs. 
 
 it wjis ordered. Walking in the garckn, he ran to pick up 
 'some -apples fallen under a tree, and brought tltem to the 
 ikdy. She, supposing he wished for th^m, desired "»him to 
 keep them; he replied, * No, thank you, ma'am, I brought 
 "them to you ; {or mi/ manm has dumplings made for us of'lhe 
 apples that fall, and I thought you might make dumplings 
 too.' 
 
 Tonge 
 
THE COUXTESS AND GERTRUDE. 1^3 
 
 Tonge been prev^ailed on in some measure to over- 
 come her nature, and be quiet, and for this end 
 being kept near her for whom alone she enter- 
 tained any deference, Gertrude was content ' to 
 dwell,' for some days, ^ in decencies;' but the ar- 
 dent spirit alas ! will find fuel for itself; and silly 
 Gertrude, persuaded that at least now, if never 
 before or again, she must bt and be judged right, 
 took up the cudgels in behalf of a little mulatto- 
 girl, whom she thought unfairly treated, and with 
 whom she had made a friendship of compassion 
 returned by gratitude. Gertrude had seen this 
 pitiable little object, wlio was newly arrived, shiver- 
 ing with cold to which no one but herself was sen^ 
 sible: she had heard her laughed at and accused 
 of deceit: it was not very comprehensible to a 
 mind unprejudiced, that any one should take pains 
 to be very miserable ; and that this girl was very 
 miserable she did not doubt: she first went to 
 Mrs. Tonge, and told her that poor Miss Tropic 
 ou»'ht to hav6 just such a rloke lined with fur as 
 Lady Luxmore had in winter, and she did not 
 doubt they might buy one at ]\Ir. jMedley's shop, 
 for they sold there, she saw, candles and ribbons, 
 and cheese, and muslins ; and when Mrs. Tonge 
 endeavored, in a soothing tone, to bespeak her 
 patience, she became disgusted with her restraint, 
 and marched oif, with her hemming-apparatus, to 
 the quarters of Miss Tropic, whose eyes, on sight 
 of her, began to pour down new cascades ot tears. 
 Gertrude enquired into this proximate cause of 
 this gush of woe, and learnt it from the re-itifra- 
 voL. J. o tion^ 
 
!94 TIIE COUNTtsS AKt) GEKTRtTDK. 
 
 tions of those around her, who wefe, cruelly eiiotigh^ 
 reproaching^ lier with her country and color and 
 t\oolly hair, to which the aggrieved damsel replied 
 bv cxprcssioi:ts that went to the heart of Gertrude^ 
 * I can't help mj country ;' * I an't a blacky;' ' I 
 don't cone off' In a rage of tears, she now threw' 
 herself on Gertrude ars her only reliance, and no- 
 thing but the interference of the higher powers,. 
 which had been suspended by Mrs. Tonge's inter- 
 est in Gertrude^'s singularity, could calm the up- 
 roar. Our voluble heroine was offended with 
 what appeared to her the injustice of merely part- 
 ing combatants, where there was on one side so 
 much aggression, and on the other so much help- 
 lessness. She knew not that poor Miss Tropier 
 and her persecutors were to have justice, thougli- 
 it was deferred ; but that the course of business iw 
 a school, like the government of the v/orld, di<l not 
 admit of stopping the machine to kill files. 
 
 A little more pains bestowed by jVlrs. Tonge, 
 ^yho judiciously treated her disciple as if she had 
 been much older, went some way towards con- 
 vincing her that the school and the scholars would 
 take care of themselves without her interference f 
 and a little caprice in those of whose regard sho 
 thought herself certain, gave her a lesson of the 
 world, and abated her interest in that around her. 
 She ' got on* more easily; ami attaching herself tcy 
 Mrs. Tonge, she carried home reports which sh© 
 supposed must please the countess of the fine pros^' 
 pects of knowledge opening to her. 
 
 But a very short time destroyed all these fair 
 
 hopes* 
 
1:'HE COUNTtSS AND GEltTRUD^. igS 
 
 hopes. Gertrude, accustomed to the busy scene 
 of school, and gratified by those little delegations 
 of power which implied that there was a rank of 
 ignorance below her's, was disgusted with the 
 stagnations of home; and some little exhibitions of 
 this feeling afforded cause for complaining that 
 she was spoiled at school, and ended in Lady' 
 Luxmore's professing that she should * teach her 
 herself/ 
 
 o i CHAP, 
 
196 THE COUNTESS A??D GERTRUDE. * 
 
 CiiAPTtR xn. 
 
 J iwhle goi-icrness. Kem 7ieig>ihors. lILhesioiced iiidulgnicc.*. 
 The wischicfs of Sunday, llow to hear a child 6a j/ its cafe- 
 chisvu Jgnorunt people the best teachers of each other. How 
 to teach writaig. Trash literature. Religion ' a good 'plan' 
 for the poor. How to mis-vse good books. A coun^e of *m- 
 j)erinr reading. Hotd to make a child love lying. The advaJi- 
 tagcs of learning to knit. Four Sunday! 
 
 At that grand day of new arrangements, in some 
 counties, called old St. Michael, Mr. Sydenham 
 and his little flock became settled inhabitants of 
 the rectory-house at Luxmore, much to the satis- 
 faction of Gertrude, who sadly needed something 
 to compensate for the privation she had experienced 
 in being taken from the swift stream of amusement 
 she had found at school, and deposited in the mill- 
 pond of the countess's neglect; for that most 
 w retched of all demons, the demon of procrastina- 
 tion, had put off, from day to day, her ladyship's 
 assumption of the office of a teacher, till it ceased 
 to exist even in intention. Gertrude, ignorant of 
 the discipline that Mr. Sydenham would preserve 
 in his house, supposed that just as many pupils as 
 he brought, just so many playfellows she should 
 find; and to this time she, with considerable pa- 
 tience, /br //e?% postponed her wishes to be able to 
 do many things, which she could not doubt Por- 
 
 targis, 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. Ip7 
 
 targis, and the rest of ' the boys at Sydenham's/ 
 as she heard them styled when spoken of by the 
 countess as pests in prospect, coald ' shew her 
 'tbe way to do.' 
 
 In part of her hopes she was disappointed : ^ Sy- 
 denham' introduced no one of * his boys' but the 
 viscount; his own son was not enquired for; and 
 Mr. Sydenham never asked admissions. But, of 
 one happy day in the week Gertrude was certain, 
 as Lord Portargis was, for the sake of cultivating 
 his mama's affection, to spend Sunday, after 
 church, with her. During tin'ee or four of these 
 hebdomadal visits, the means seemed to promise 
 the desired end; and Gertrude, in the joy of re- 
 covering this dear partner of her infancy, forgot all 
 her vexations ;. but Mv. Sydenham began to find 
 that, however well his plan might succeed in its 
 purpose, it might be attended with evil greater 
 than the benefit. All that passed on this day be- 
 came a mystery, on which Portargis, who till now, 
 gave no cause of complaint, refused, as if bound 
 by a promise, to thro\v any light. He had nioney 
 vvliich he spent in greater profusion and more pri- 
 vacy than was good ; the apothecary was oftcner 
 needed, and why could only be guessed at, he v.as 
 more refractory on Monday than on any day of 
 the week. It was soon evident that his mother 
 treated him with an unbounded and pernicious in- 
 dulgence; and some expressions that escaped her 
 when Mr. Sydenham hinted this, shewed pretty 
 evidently that she meant to outbid her husband in 
 the purchase of the voung viscount's filial affection. 
 
 ' Tiie 
 
1^8 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 The matter could not Lng remain in abeyance; 
 and before the time of the countess's resuming 
 her London residence, she was allowed to see her 
 son only when Mr. Sydenham was present. This 
 would have been a greater grievance than it proved 
 to Gertrude, had not Lady Luxmore's scheme 
 of monopoly, almost entirely prevented all inters 
 course between the children. If they attempted 
 to leave the house, or even the room, in quest of 
 their amusements, they were called back : objec- 
 tions were made to the weather, or fear was ex- 
 prest for the viscount's health, or it was so cruel 
 to leave her all alone ; and when all other means 
 of keeping his lordship quiet failed, she resorted 
 to the ingenious device of pricking a card through 
 in the form of a B, or a P, or an L, or something 
 as surprising, and which she could accomplish, 
 and setting him wilh a needle and colored silk, to 
 make himself start at the portrait produced by his 
 fingers. Ignorance and expectation induced him 
 to comply once; and he received the encouragement 
 of being assured he * would soon work better than 
 ^ Gertrude,' but his lordship declined the honor *. 
 
 If 
 
 * We (Endeavor in this work, to give the result of experir 
 cnce and observation; but much, very much are we obliged 
 to omit; and were it not for the happy resource of half a 
 page oHong primer t now and then, we must be more deficient. 
 Lady Luxmore-s control here recalls to our remembrance an 
 
 early connection of our family, the old marchioness of T . 
 
 The good lady living near us, was the torment of our child- 
 hood, by an interference which drew on us, very often, an 
 increase of scvcuty. Si^e had two dctughtcrs, of no accou^it 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 1^9 
 
 If they amused themselves in her presence, so as 
 to seem insensible to it, she reclaimed their atten- 
 tion by proposing fcome of the obsolete sports of 
 her childhood, or by intreating them to * recollect 
 that it was Sunday.' Her son was beginning to 
 imderslaud and so see through tius, and, had the 
 
 jn her eyes., and a -son who \va<! hor pricie and only object m 
 life. He was a lovely, spirited boy, writhing und^er her soli- 
 citudes, arvd perhaps sometitncs sliimilated by them to oppose 
 negligence to prudojicc, V/lien at play with us, and in no pos- 
 sible danger, she would recall him literally in these words: 
 * My Loid ! come hither this instant ; you will run, and over- 
 heat yourself, and get a surfeit, and a fever, and the small- 
 pox, and die-' Her care hud not suffered him to be inocu- 
 lated ; and we have accompanied her in a tour round a village- 
 common, eiujuiiing at every house where she thought there 
 was illness, whether it was the small-pox. At one door she 
 happened to see the apothecary's horse; ^.hc ferreted out the 
 poor woman. * WeU 1 mistress, I suppose you have got the 
 small-pox hpre/ ^ No, iiuljeed, my lady; but my husband 
 has broke his leg, and we are afraid it will be fatal/ * Q | 
 is that all ? I was afraid it was the small-pox.' To re- 
 turn to his lordship : lie had a tutor at home, under 
 whose eye he took an airing on his poney daily in sight 
 of the house; he had a servant to lead the horse, and 
 one on eacii side ; yet lie was thrown ancj dragged in the stir- 
 rup ! and once contrived, for he was very ingenious, to amuse 
 himself with the garden-roller, till it deposited him in a piece 
 of water that had a steep descent of tuii. He died, sweet lad ! 
 at fourteen, of the measles; and her ladyship, a widow from 
 ^arly life, lived to bury her daughters. She was, with all her 
 weaknesses, a good and kind-hearted woman, with great pride 
 and great condescension. She once occasioned some merri- 
 ment in llic drawing-room at St. James's, by calling out 'o a, 
 nobleman her neighbor, and who was lord of the manor in 
 which her villa \^as situated, * My lord ^hjl^^'j, 1 wish yoii, 
 would order the hogs to be rung:' but still we vyish there 
 were more such old marchionesses as she was, 
 
 practice 
 
200 THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 
 
 practice of this indulgence not been discontinued, 
 it could not mucii ioniier have done hiai the same 
 sort ot harm as heretofore ; but it would, perhaps, 
 have produced open rebellion ; and therefore it was 
 better dropt : he had proceeded so far as to wish 
 that there was no Sunday, and to ask if Gatty 
 could not come to play with him instead of his 
 coming home; but this inefficient wish did not 
 much mend matters. ]\Ir. Sydenham and Lady 
 Luxmore were driven to an unpleasant explanation, 
 w'liicJj cmXed in her going to town in April, resolved 
 never to return to Luxmore ' till that insolent 
 man was under ground there.' 
 
 The expence of a London spring, compelled 
 her ladyship, or the acquired habit induced her, 
 to" resume her plan of ceconomy ; and at the end of 
 the spring she had found out that, as staying at 
 home was the cheapest of all j)lans, a London 
 summer might be tolerated. It was in this sum- 
 mer that she began the iuiportant business of Ger- 
 trude's education. Slie rumma<^ed out an old 
 common prayer book ' which the child could not 
 spoil,' and out of which she might learn the Church- 
 Catechism : she borrowed a spelling-book of the 
 foot-boy, and she bought a copy-book, which, with 
 the episode of hemming dusters, and the never- 
 ceasing sewing to lengtlien her clothes, formed the 
 prospectus of the undertaking. 
 
 Lei no one presume to teach, who has not had 
 the patience tQ learn, Lady Luxmore knew not 
 
 what 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 201 
 
 what she undertook even in the shameful little she 
 proposed. In three Sundays, the catechetical of- 
 iice was so wearying, that slie had contrived to 
 abridge most of the interroo-atories in a method 
 defying all recollection of the original composition ; 
 and with those answers which she supposed her 
 pupil had already by heart, she dispensed, ^ever 
 once reflecting that it was the form and solemnity 
 that were to discipline the mind to that attention 
 and obedience which prepare the way for the ad- 
 mission of religious truths. The spelling she 
 turned over to the owner of the book, adopting a 
 philosophical axiom of her own, that two ig- 
 norants must improve each other. Beyond obliquG 
 strokes that stood in all directions, and ovals that 
 were every thing but oval, she could not attend 
 the pen of Gertrude ; and nothing now prospered 
 but the duster-hemming, and the eking. 
 
 But Gertrude's mind was not inactive : she had 
 .indeed no one to inform her, but she could wonder ; 
 and a natural instinct pointing oit to her a book as 
 her only assistant, her sedulity in reading overcame 
 all remaining difficulty, and excepting a few uncouth 
 words which none of the servants could explaiiv 
 or pronounce, she had made herself mistress of 
 the exploits of the King and the Cobler, Guy Earl 
 of Warwick, Robin Hood, and the fate of Johnny 
 Armstrong, the latter of whom a})pearcd to her an 
 inimitable hero. The ih'bt volume of Robinson ^ 
 Crusoe v»as a treasure that repaid her for risking 
 ber neqk in climbing some shelves to get at it, as 
 
 it 
 
f 02 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 it lay buried amongst band-boxes. She found also 
 a comedy ; but it puzzled her : she could not con- 
 ceive persons speaking, of whose presence, neither 
 her eye nor her ear nor any previous information 
 gave her notice. The * West Indian,' therefore, 
 Avhich was the comedy she had stumbled on after 
 dislodging the cat, was, shame to say ! for once, 
 and perhaps only once since it existed, laid aside 
 -as * stupid nonsense.* 
 
 By the time she had finished as many repetitions 
 of these re-perusals as had served to commit to 
 memory many of the sentences verbatim^ she was 
 in some danger through the kindiiess of the ser- 
 vants, of acquiring the worst taste for that sort of 
 literature denominated trash. A volume of Tom 
 Jones was not the best code of ethics that could 
 have fallen in her way, but this was harmless, 
 compared to halfpenny-sheets of ballads, and col- 
 lections of similar poetry, under all the fantastical 
 names that can give hints to the vicious and de- 
 ceive the virtuous. Fortunately, at this period, a 
 visitor exprest her surprize that her ladyship had 
 not * made more use' of religion in her plan, than 
 appeared from the answers Miss Aubrey returned 
 to a few simple questions put to her. Lady Lux- 
 more after this, took more seriously into consider- 
 ation ' the utility' of religion as a branch of educa- 
 tion, and assured every body, to whom she men- 
 tioned the subject of * that poor child,' that she 
 should make her as religious as possible; she 
 '^trhou^ht it * the best plan for poor people,' 
 
 Tho 
 
TriE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 203 
 
 The Church-Catechism had been laid aside, 
 and it was deemed needless to resume it, as she 
 some months before, knew it by heart. The novel 
 scheme was that of setting her to learn four verses 
 of a psalm daily, which she was to let her patroness 
 know she had repeated to one of the servants. 
 There was no one at hand to point out the defect 
 of a project which might leave for Tuesday the 
 completion of a sentence learned, and, perhaps, 
 forgotten on Monday. She began * and had she 
 been made to exert herself, the task would havQ 
 been nothing ; but she was equally disinclined 
 to the business, and incapable of understanding 
 what she got by rote in this way. The figurative 
 language was not only unintelligible to her, but 
 sometimes ludicrous i^ her conception of it, and 
 her acquirement was visible only in the prophane 
 use she innocently made of phrases she could not 
 comprehend. Watts's Hymns coming in the coun* 
 tess's way, she thought they would furnish admi- 
 rable daily doses to be taken in the same manner ; 
 but having, in giving her the book, mentioned 
 something of * Presbyterian cg.nt' in a tone that 
 gave her an indistinct idea of contempt, the rhyme 
 ^lone caught her favorable attention, and the sen- 
 timents passed over her mind with a sort of caveat, 
 ^s ' fit only for poor people, and beneath ladies.' 
 The prose loves of Pyramus and Thisbe, came 
 next to hand, and with Foxton's Moral Songs, 
 ^nd the history of Herod and j\fariamne, formed 
 pretty nearly the whole scale of Miss Aubrey's 
 severe studies, 
 
 4 
 
C04 TEH-: COUXTESS AND GERTRUDL. 
 
 She could now read well enough to amuse : and 
 an experiment, made in indisposition, taught the 
 countess that she could employ her in this way, 
 and thus grow wise by deputy. * Sir Charles Gran- 
 dison' was the first book brought forward for this 
 purpose. Lady Luxmore was not averse to re- 
 freshin2[ her memory, and it was entered on with 
 avidity. If king David and Dr. Watts had not 
 preceded poor Richardson, some indignation must 
 be excited on reflecting how such a work must be 
 misused and misunderstood in the hands of a child. 
 
 But the unfortunate baronet was soon laid aside : 
 he existed only as far as the second volume of his 
 exploits. Goodness is monotonous : and the st(;ry 
 did not go on half fast enough for the impatience 
 of the auditor. Telemachus succeeded ; but the 
 amiable archbishop soon made his bow, and re- 
 tired behind the scenes to make ^vay for Monsieur 
 Galland, whose translation of the Arabian Nights' 
 entertainm.ents,' translated again into English, 
 seemed to be exactly the desideratum in literature. 
 
 The duster-hemming, and all otiier occupations, 
 were now laid aside for the ogres and ogresses: 
 the work, twice read through, was begun a third 
 time : the ' Persian Tales' succeeded : and by that 
 period, the reading-rage was over : but the njischief 
 of such employment was at spring-tide, and such 
 a waste of time was not to be retrieved. Gertrude's 
 imamnation had kindled at the torch of hction, 
 and ' splendide mendax,' she would fabricate im- 
 possible events, and detail them with a hardi- 
 hood that might have puzzled, and perhaps 
 
 siiDckcd 
 
THE C0IJXTE9S AND GERTRUDE. £05 
 
 shocked those who knew not her studies. To ex- 
 cite wonder was become her greatest delight, and 
 giving way to an impulse, that in her was innocent, 
 but which, nevertheless, called for immediate cor- 
 rection, she made confusion without end, by the 
 fabulous recitals with which she pleased herself 
 and deceived the houshold. 
 
 The countess was now, in pursuance of the 
 present system, more than three quarters of. the 
 year in London ; and the interval was consumed 
 at a villa. — Gertrude, at an apparent stand as to 
 all improvement, was still disposed to enquiry and 
 deduction. . It cannot be imagined that Lady Lux- 
 more was less wayward to her dependant than to 
 others. The poor girl had much to endure from 
 her caprice, her parsimony, and something differ- 
 ent from both, which looked like a tendency to 
 aversion. She now spoke to her and treated her 
 as a being of uncommon stupidity and deficiency. 
 She seemed to take it for admitted, that she could 
 not do what every one else did. Not distinguish- 
 ing between the natural want of a moral quality, 
 and the mischief done to the moral sense bj^ her 
 own act, she, when Gertrude was detected in fa- 
 bricating falshoods, supposed her incapable of 
 truth : she saw not in her childish fictions — in her 
 talking of children stolen and secreted — in her de- 
 scribing toys that spoke, and wooden horses that 
 galloped — any relation to the oriental hyperbole 
 with which she had saturated her mind ; she stig- 
 matized her as a liar, and would have * let slip' 
 
 at 
 
i06 THE COUkTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 at her the tongues of her lowest servants, if they 
 had not more mercy than their noble mistress ; 
 yet she remained a favorite ; and still more mis- 
 chief might have resulted from their encourage-* 
 ment in evil, than from Lady Luxmore's discou-* 
 ragement of good, when they dried up her tears 
 with an observation, that * all young gentlemen 
 and ladies would tell fibs sometimes.' 
 
 Not the smallest record was kept of some little 
 occasional feelings of compassion for others, of the 
 determination ' to be very good,' often and often 
 repeated, of the wish for power to relieve distress, 
 or the glow of something like, at least, the love of 
 virtue, at the hearing of a good action : Lady 
 Luxmore might fairly indeed excuse herself, by 
 asking, ' How should I know all this ?' True — ye 
 who must be told all things, may he pardoned iri 
 your ignorance ; but there is a mind now and then 
 inhabiting a human body, which needs not the loud- 
 proclamation of the tongue. — We watch for early 
 rose-buds— we hope they are forming — we per- 
 suade ourselves they are perceptible — we are con- 
 fident, and they expand. — Are infant-virtues less 
 to be looked for? — Axe they less valuable than 
 j-ose-bud s ? 
 
 Gertrude had now accomplished her ninth year ; 
 and scarce a day past ^^ ithout some proof that 
 her patroness would gladly be rid of her, could 
 she bu^t supply her place agreeably. Whenever 
 any girl, of superior advantage or imaginary recom- 
 mendations, came with some one of Lady Lux- 
 Biore's vi^iitors, to bear a part iir the morning no- 
 thingness, 
 
tHE COUNtESS AND GERTRUDE.. 20^ 
 
 thingness, to be gazed at, or to dazzle at an evening- 
 party, poor Gertrude was sure to hear some mor- 
 tifying comparison. If Lady Luxmore left her in 
 the carriage while she made a series of calls, she; 
 was, on her return, told what charming girls had 
 been seen, how elegantly they conducted them- 
 selves, and if the evening had been spent quietly 
 from home, how sweetly they made tea, and how 
 happy it would have been had * Miss' resembled 
 them; every thing but their dress was praised; and 
 this, perhaps, it was as well to pass over. 
 
 On a mind like the countess's, no impression 
 could be made by those indications which nature 
 sometimes puts forth in young minds, and which, 
 if fairly regarded, are useful in assisting to decide 
 on the correction or improvement to be aimed at. 
 Her ladyship seemed to look out only for attempts 
 at opposition, and Gertrude soon found that, next 
 to any complaint of the increasing uncouthness 
 of her clothing, which was generally punished witb 
 imprisonment or some article of dress still more 
 degrading, the wish to learn was the highest crime 
 she could commit : it was considered as rebellion, 
 and crushed in its first state of existence. 
 
 The servants had been the amusing companions 
 of her younger years: they were now sought as 
 her consoling friends; and as her ladyship had 
 ipany new sets in the course of the sun's progress 
 through the zodiac, these coinforta^s were gene* 
 rally bad and succeeded by worse. The truth, 
 perhaps heightened by a, Uttle malice, reached 
 
 Gerti'Utie's 
 
!208 THE COUNTESS AND G£HTRUI>E* ' 
 
 Gertrude's car whenever LadyLuxmore was named, 
 and such a spirit as hers might have been coun- 
 selled into any excess ot rashness, had not ttiis pe- 
 riod of her age produced a revolution, even in her 
 infant mind. 
 
 The reader will pardon tlie detail of little cir- 
 cumstances : they are in their nature elucidating. 
 Gertrude, we have premised, is no fiction : such 
 a scheme of education was pursued, and it would 
 be of no use unless detailed minutely. 
 
 That children, if not found in employment, will 
 find it for tliemselves, is an observation confirmed 
 daily and hourly by the ingenious mischief of 
 many a busy little mind. Gertrude was not mi- 
 serable, though restless, in ignorance : she Mas 
 gasping for knowledge ; and whatever she saw 
 done by others, she aimed at doing herself. Having 
 seen the maid-servants knitting, she, one Sunday 
 morning, stole some worsted, — her allowance of 
 one penny per week not allow ing her to purchase : 
 and having set herself up in her new employ com- 
 pletely, by begging a knitting-needle, which she 
 broke in two, she went to Lady Luxmore's newly- 
 arrived personal servant, to ask her to shew her 
 how to use her implements. Sunday morning was 
 particularly convenient for the purpose, as, out of 
 respect for the dny, the ogres and ogresses, who 
 were again in requisition, were laid aside, and it 
 was not the invarial)le custom of the house to go 
 to church : Lady Lux more was generally busy 
 about noon settling her accounts ; and any little 
 job of needle-work that she chose not to trust to 
 
 her 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. £09 
 
 her woman, was reserved for those dull hours, 
 when, as she sagaciously observed, tlie town 
 looked * as if the plague was in it,' and the bells 
 sounded as if dismissing the inhabitants to ' their 
 long homes.' Sunday, she taught all about her, 
 was a dismal day: the weather was alwavs forlorn, 
 and the fire burnt worse on that diy, than on any 
 ©ther in the week. 
 
 '^Vith these pi^oper and co7isoUng notions of the 
 day which brings, to every good mind, a blessing 
 and a comfort, Gertrude mounted the upper stairs 
 in search of Mrs. Stockall, and requested her to 
 give her a lesson in knitting. The womaji was 
 not of the common description of great ladies' 
 great maids : she was, on the contrary, a plain el- 
 derly woman, such as Lady Luxmore would not 
 have condescended to employ in that capacity, 
 had not the fame ' her place' had acquired, leu 
 her almost without an option. To Gertrude's re- 
 quest, slie ansivered by reminding her, that it was 
 Sunday. The dialogue that ensued may easily be 
 inferred : the adult enforced, in a homely way, 
 the observance of the sabbath ; the infant con- 
 tended for that liberty which allowed the com- 
 pliance with her v^ish: Miss, all the while, 
 pursuing the knitting, which intuitively she had 
 comprehended. 
 
 Mrs. Stockall pursued — But do you not know, 
 my child, that the breaking any one of these com- 
 mandments, which you seem to know so well by 
 heart, will be punished in the next world ? 
 
 VOL. I. V ' What 
 
210 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 . ' What is that to uie ?' replied Gertrude ; ' I 
 shall be dead ; and then I caiiaot feel being pu- 
 iiish.ed.' 
 
 Without any intentional energy, but naturally 
 affected by the subject, the woman replied, look- 
 iu'^ stcdfastly at tiie young lady's bravura coun- 
 tenance, — ' But you will be brought to life again 
 in the next world, and will feel punishment as 
 much as you would now.' 
 
 Is it too much to say, that this moment, and 
 these words, decided the future character of Ger- 
 trude Aubrey? There can be no fear of departing 
 from probability in the assertion ; for it is fact ; 
 and if in Gertrude there was any subsequent 
 goodness, connected with sentiments of obedience 
 to the Divine Will : — if she felt pleasure, beyond 
 the mere instinct of natural benevolence, in those 
 acts of kindness which her conscience approved : 
 — if she lamented most sorely every deviation 
 from what she thought riglit, and that early neg- 
 ligence which left her ail to do for herself, all, all, 
 originated from this moment of simple conviction. 
 It would not have been wonderful, had enthu- 
 siasm caught hold of an imagination thus exerted 
 and left to its own excitation. Let us see how 
 this dangerous propensity, the rock of an ardent 
 s^Dirit, was avoided. 
 
 No question of the truth or authority of what 
 she had heard, disturbed the new convert : it ac- 
 counted satisfactorily to her mind, for all that had 
 
 here-- 
 
THE fcOUNTESS AXD GERTRUDt. 211 
 
 heretofore puzzled and perplexed her ; and when 
 she considered that she once had, as she had heard 
 by chance, and found corroborated in the little 
 she had read, been created out of nothing, she 
 knew not how she could dispute the possibility of 
 her being revived from that state to which she 
 was aware, in the instance of her father and 
 others, persons were reduced. She felt that it was 
 rioiht and consistent : and she beg;an to ask her- 
 self confusedly a question that, if analyzed, was, 
 what manner of persons those with this prospect 
 ousht to be. 
 
 CHAP, 
 
12 12 THE CdUXTESS AND GEIiTRPI;E. 
 
 I 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 A ne-u: apothecary. A mr.' school. New prefer i( ex. Sfiottcal- 
 fiieiit, Neiv ideas and mn pursuits. Dressing fur * the baltS 
 
 Whether hgr ladyship began to be ashamed of 
 her protegees now visible dei'eets, or of her own 
 unfair negli^j^ence, it meitters not to enquire. An 
 accidental circumstance decided her as to the part 
 she should take in tlx) business of supplying them- 
 On some offence given her by her apothecary, she 
 sent, when attacked next by a spasmodic disorder 
 in the stomach, for a young practitioner in the 
 neighborhood, who, turning out very handsome^ 
 very specious, and ' very attentive,' soon had the 
 felicity of getting into high favor. Frequent visits 
 producing intimacy, he caressed Gertrude, not 
 only as a child, but as a child whose best recom- 
 mendation was Lady Luxmore's partiality, la- 
 mented the trouble such a charge must occasion 
 her ladyship in her delicate state of health, and 
 hoped the object of her philanthropic beneficence 
 would always retain a due sense of her obligation ; 
 he next, and at a proper distance of time, mention- 
 ed his own interests and concerns : his mother and 
 sisters had, till now, lived in the country, where 
 their health had suffered greatly from a stagnant 
 humidity of the atmosjxherc : his sisters had been 
 
 obliged,- 
 
THE COUXTESS AND GERTRCDE. 513 
 
 obliged, on this account, to give up the profitable 
 concern they had been for some years engaged in, 
 of keeping a large boarding-school ; they meant 
 now to raise a few scholars in liis house, which, 
 as he was contracting for a partnership at a small 
 distance, and which would require his residence, he 
 should soon quit to them : they would think them- 
 selves very nui-ch honored, might they have the 
 care of Miss Aubrey on very easy terms : he could 
 say of them, that Vthey were excellent women,' 
 had * read a great deal,' and ' possessed whatever 
 was requisite in female education.' 
 
 Lady Lux more listened, and, soon after, re- 
 ceiving some new offence from what she called 
 * the impertinence of ]\{iss,' which impertinence con- 
 sisted, perhaps, in asking a question her ladyship 
 could not answer, she made a visit to j\frs. and 
 the Miss Mendalls. Possibly the politeness of a 
 first interview prevented her ladyship's ears from 
 being struck by the provincial ^riYW^' that accompa- 
 nied the eloquence of these very good women; and 
 it might be her want of acquaintance with * verbum 
 personale,' &c. that saved them from the suspicion 
 that they could not speak their own langua^re with 
 passable correctness. She might not in their 
 ' much civility' hear or listen to the singularity 
 of ' he go' and ' it do,' nor might any fair oppor- 
 tunity occur of introducing their favorite preterites 
 ^ stob, scrat,' and 'shruck,'for stabbed, scratched, 
 shrieked. Be that as it may, the ladies were charm- 
 ed with * that sweet woman' Lady Luxmore, and 
 the countess could not but own they were ^ mighty 
 
 good 
 
214 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE, 
 
 good sort of women/ and very fit for the business 
 of education. An agreement was made for Ger- 
 trude's becoming a day-scholar to tliem ; and for 
 ten guineas a year she was to be taught English 
 grammar completely, work of all kinds, writing, 
 arithmedc, and dancing. An additional induce- 
 ment offei ed itself in the shape of the Miss Men- 
 dalls want of a musical instrument, and the coun- 
 tess's having an old harpsicord, which would just 
 answer their purpose and frank Gertrude for the 
 first year. 
 
 In the following week, the young lady began her 
 studies at this academy of profound science ; and 
 the hope or amusement in obtaining knowledge, al- 
 most counterbalanced the dread of again encoun- 
 tering ridicule; for her exterior was now, if pos- 
 sible, more grotesque than ever, as Lady Lux- 
 more, alarmed lest her rapid growth should outgo 
 her resources, bestowed on her, not only the gi- 
 gantic patterns brought from ' the family chest/ 
 but some of the least fit of her own cast-off clothes, 
 and, many of these, articles of dress which existed 
 before she was raised to her present dignity. 
 
 But Gertrude had no cause to fear : she was 
 s-pared by the profound respect the Miss Mend alls 
 entertained for every one who sent them a scholar, 
 from all repetition of her former suffering. They 
 soon perceived she was more companionable than 
 girls at her age usually are, and admitted her ta 
 greater intimacy than she had a right to expect; and 
 if she had been disposed to have complained, they 
 .\vould have soothed and pitied her , but giving her 
 
 predit- 
 
THE COUNTESS A>:D GERTRUDE. 213 
 
 credit for the juvenile propriety there was about 
 her, they rather set her up as a a example to be 
 followed than as an object of derision, and kept 
 all those in order who might have been inclined to 
 transgress. 
 
 Still, however, there were mortifications to be 
 endured. The countess's oeconomy iiad been griev- 
 ously otfended by the wicked consumption of shoes; 
 an9 it had been avenged by providing her with 
 such, and such only, as were tit ihr the mire of 
 the fens, and on the tirst glance at whicl], the danc- 
 ing master declared the utter impossibility of teacii- 
 ing a young lady ' the positions' in ' ploughboys* 
 shoes.' She now, more sensible, though less ex- 
 posed to mortification, burst inlo tears, when re- 
 jected and ordered to her place, with a request^, 
 peremptory as a command, that ' she would order' 
 a pair of slioes on the plan of those worn by the 
 few other girls who composed this new scnool : 
 she was told, tiiat there was no maker but ]\ir. Ne- 
 thersole in some fashionable street, who could be 
 relied on ; and there they ??:ust be had. ' 
 
 The lesson ended, the Miss Mendalls and their 
 mother entered into conlidence wiiii Gertrude : 
 they lamented to see her come to dance so d rest: 
 they did not suppose it her fault, poor thing! but 
 could she not prevail on Lady Luxmore to let iicr 
 have a dancing-dress, a little more like that of 
 other girls ? She could only promise to carry any 
 message to her ladyship ; and one was Iramed, 
 which happened so far to suit the purpose, as to 
 obtaui a relaxation in the article of shoes, aivi by 
 
 \dno\xSt 
 
216 tAe ccwntess and Gertrude. 
 
 various little dishonest pretences, for \\hich thosei 
 who compel them into practice are, we trust, re- 
 sponsible, she accomplished wearing on these days 
 of gala, the least preposterous of her garments. 
 
 If Lady Luxmore liad resolved on any thing . 
 respecting the education of her protegee, it was 
 that, on no account, should she be wiser than her- 
 self. She, therefore, still prohibited ail acquamt- 
 ance with the French lani^uage, grammatical or 
 univrammatical; and as the Miss INIendails had at 
 present no scholar who learnt it, and they them- 
 selves had shifted through the world and their bu- 
 siness without it, they were perfectly of opinion 
 with ' that sweet woman,' Lady Luxmore, that 
 unless for people who had a prospect of going to 
 i Freance,' it was wholly needless: everything good 
 in French was translated into our own tongue, and 
 if it was not it did not signify ; for they were a par- 
 cel oi papists and u^ifidels, and no good was to be 
 trot by them. What the Miss Mend alls would 
 have said to these papists and infidels^ some years 
 after, we may conjecture. 
 
 It must be confessed a task sufficiently hard, de- 
 volved on them, even in the teaching, as they had 
 undertaken to do, the grammar of their own lan- 
 guage. What is understood, even now, by this 
 branch of education, among many who see no 
 difficulty in it, is not clear; but certainly it is 
 J^omething widely different from the syntactical ^ 
 discipline of a boys'-school"; the only discipline 
 that will ever tend to real knowledge. It would 
 be w ell if a little niorq were aimed at than tlie 
 
THE COUN^'ESS AND GERTRUDE. ^\^ 
 
 names of the parts of speech, and tl>e commit- 
 ting to the un-analysing memory, page after pa^Cy 
 of a treatise on grammar. Very seldom does 
 it it occur that a girl, even if she can answer as 
 ' to gender, number, case, person, as they arise, does 
 not stumble at construction^ on which, as mean- 
 ing the relations of a sentence, the comprehension 
 of its grammatical form must depend. But tliese 
 good women had not proceeded near so far in the 
 depths of philology. Gertrude had, given to her 
 when at her former seat of learning, a very small 
 volume, containing the lowest elements of language: 
 this she had puzzled over when she could not under- 
 stand it, till she undertood it: it was entirely new to 
 the Miss Mendalls; and on a question arising to de- 
 cide whether a word was an adjective or an ad-cerb! 
 she could take a part, and supported her opinion by 
 a reference to this little book: she gained credit by 
 her knowledge, and was advanced, even in the good 
 opinion of those who had already made her their 
 favorite. She was now suffered to proceed very 
 much in her own way : columns of spelling were 
 dispensed with, and portions of a pocket diction- 
 ary given up, to the less restricted but more use- 
 ful conceptions of a girl not wonderfully endowed: 
 they saw, that if she ever erred in orthography, 
 somehow, they knew not indeed how, — she seenied 
 right; and if slie was not precise in delinitions, 
 or what they called meanings, she was not very 
 wrong. They had, however, a much larger share 
 pf candor l;han of erudition : the^ wei'e satisfied 
 
£18 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 M itli the end, so it were but obtained ; they per- 
 ceived the siniiularitv of her mind, and allowincr 
 her to pursue her own method, because, indeed, 
 they had no other by which to correct it, tliey left 
 her in possession of an orthography that depended 
 on reason more than on memor}^, and which con- 
 sequently needed no paltry helps to recollection, 
 and of a system of definition that gave to her style 
 of speaking, even then, an originality that distin- 
 guished her from all other children, and which, 
 through life, brought with it its own advantages. 
 
 Writing was an amusement, and arithmetic was 
 a sti'etch of faculty just suited to a mind that de- 
 lighted in extreme tension; but, in the former, it 
 was very difficult to persuade her that there ought 
 not to be due proportion between the time bestow- 
 ed, and the excellence atchieved. She saw, even 
 vat her age, that unless swiftness accompanies fine 
 writing, the ability to write finely can be useful to 
 few. Slow writing she called, according to /ler 
 •ideas, * drawing,' and her own endeavors acting in 
 some measure against those of her teacher, gave 
 her a style of hand-writing, in which extreme fluen- 
 cy v^as afterwards added to elegance. 
 
 Needle- work, as she saw the value of everything 
 useful, and was delighted with visible effects, would 
 have won on her, had she had any tliing plea- 
 sant to practise on; but Lady Luxmore had pos- 
 sessed in ' single blessedness' this solitary accom- 
 plishment, and, ' not chusing to be rivalled in it,' 
 ishe requested Gertrude might ?wt be taught to 
 
 do 
 
THE COUXTF.SS AXD GERTRUDE. 219 
 
 do it to any dejzrec of perfection. Is this cre- 
 dible? — It is FACT *. 
 
 But even with this exempting prohibition, she 
 could not escape some little distress on the sub- 
 ject, well disposed as were these ladies and their 
 venerable mother towards her : they could pity, 
 they could sympathise, and they could see that she 
 •was unlike many other girls ; but they could not 
 measure her mind, nor did they know- by what 
 aliment to nourish it, or by what discipline to cor- 
 rect its defects. She was punished for want>' 
 intei'est in doing that which could interest none 
 but a mind destitiite of ideas; and a failure of ex- 
 actitude in tlie stitches of a long series of hemming, 
 was revenged rather than corrected by an exhibi- 
 tion ot her in the corner of the school, w ith her evil 
 deeds fastened round her neck ; a disgrace which, 
 like all that diminish the novelty of shame, pro- 
 duced a sort of local haughtiness. 
 
 For some months, she so loved those under 
 whose care she was placed, that she only wished 
 the ladies had been able to give her more satisfac- 
 tory answers to her many queries: she thought it 
 was very strange, that they could not tell her why 
 part of the lire was of a deep red, and part of a 
 bright yellow : she begged them just to bs so 
 good as to let her know what was in the inside ot 
 the lock of the door: why the bell sounded, as 
 
 * Wc could make the instance stronger. A father has 
 raadc tills accomplishment the condition of his favor: the 
 jnother has issued in secret the prohibition above, and taciily 
 libtpned to the reproof for supposed Jeficicncy, 
 
 4 shQ 
 
•20 Tilt COUX'JESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 she ' had found out it did by the little tiling in the 
 middle hitting the piece that went round it :' she 
 should be very much obliged to them if they would 
 explain to her how iron was made : she should 
 like to know * why she had not chilblains in sum- 
 mer;' she had once held a bottle, into which Lady 
 Lux more had poured rose-water and elder-iiower 
 water ; she was sure tliey were quite cold when 
 separate : but they were very warm when put to- 
 gether : * how could this be ?' She thought * it would 
 lessen the evil of house-breaking if the doors were 
 fastened to the bells, or if locks could be made 
 ivith pistols in them.' 
 
 But in vain did she resort to ihe house of Mend- 
 all for the solution of any difficulties: she was 
 dispirited but not disgusted, till two circumstances 
 occurred, which convinced her, that to hope to be 
 in any way wiser for the care she was under, was 
 in vain : she must, she felt, do what she could for 
 lierself 
 
 The first of these vexations was occasioned by 
 -an affection of her sight, which rendered it impos- 
 sible for her to do any thing with accuracy. What 
 she made, as she thought, of the size it should be, 
 Tias four times as large, and seen so indistincly, 
 that she could attempt nothing but writing and 
 arithmetic, which were executed in the same gi- 
 gantic style : the unfortunate needle- work was, of 
 course, worse than usual ; and her disgrace became 
 heavier. 
 
 In the extreme want of method of the good 
 Jiiss Mendalls, haJf of whose time was spent in 
 
 pratinc*" 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. £2\ 
 
 pmting to each other or to their country-folk who 
 visited them when they should have been em- 
 ployed, it often happened, that the business of the 
 day was not only inverted, but omitted ; and by one 
 of these accidents it so fell out, that Gertrude had 
 passed several days, during which she had com- 
 plained of her eyes, without being called on to 
 read : the hemming and sewing could be inspected 
 without intermission of the ' says I,' and * says 
 he,' of reported colloquy ; but the reading would 
 have been inconvenient ; and even the practising 
 on the rattling harpsichord was prohibited, with a 
 very injudicious request to (he few learners of 
 music, that they would ' discontinue that terrible 
 noise.' 
 
 The defects of the needle-work being seen, and 
 the excuse not heard, the ladies were proceeding 
 to what they thought condign punishment, when 
 Gertrude demanded an audience, and protested 
 she could not see: — still she could not ^ain belief, 
 nor would she have been permitted to speak, had 
 not good old Mrs. Mendall, with the acumen of 
 Sancho Panca, advised the giving Miss Aubrey a 
 I book as a test. ' She will read/ said the old lady, 
 * depend on it, if she can.' She could not distin- 
 guish a letter ; and the topical disease was then 
 littended to, and relieved. 
 
 The other instance was brought forward by a 
 freak of the junior Miss Mendall, who, knowing 
 Gertrude had a voice, bid her, and in a tone of 
 great authority, sing: out of mere diffidence, she 
 h^Gd to be excused : the excuse she made was 
 
 not 
 
C22 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUt)E4 
 
 not only not listened to, but she was told she 
 should be made to s'mg. The inconsiderate express 
 sion even suggested to her of itself, the folly it con- 
 tained : she was called up, had her hands crossed 
 before her, and held tight in their position, and her 
 chin forced up at the same tiuie : in this posture, 
 she was ordered to sing : that which was mild ex- 
 cuse, now became obstinacy ; and her refuge was 
 silence. She was detained till poor inexperienced 
 Miss Mendall was weary, and then dismissed with 
 an assurance, that ' the next time she was desired 
 to sing, she should do it.' This she had sagacity 
 enough to perceive was so mucii breath spent in 
 vain ; and after these experiments of wisdom, she 
 felt her confidence in the Miss Mendalls sadly on 
 the decline. 
 
 In reflecting on these instances, we find text 
 for a long commentary on the extreme folly we 
 have witnessed in the infliction of punishments ir- 
 relative to the fault committed, and injurious to 
 the moral sense of the culprit. As much might 
 be said on the absurdity of undertakinaj to accom- 
 plish that which we cannot command ; but we will 
 substitute for our own, perhaps crude theory, a 
 fact or two, of a more amusing nature. 
 
 We have, for now almost nine years, witnessed 
 the education of a boy by his widowed mother. 
 Let it not be supposed, that a father's care even 
 formed the ouiluie of the plan : the child was in 
 his cradle when the less was sustained. There is 
 in the boy a character of * aut Ccesar ant nulluSy' 
 tbtat might uiaJ\e a common mind shrink from the 
 
 task 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 2^5 
 
 task of conducting such a spirit; but our friend is 
 of no common mind. With firmness, but without 
 the intervention of temper or caprice, he is ruled 
 easily, and as easily is he made happy ;< but the 
 point we would remark is the bloom we have- 
 seen diffused over that exquisite moral sense, 
 which we wish to preserve in all its delicacy, evea 
 when connected with the ardent mind and the 
 high tone of a manly boy. We asked how he 
 proceeded in his learning : he was then approach- 
 ing seven years of age ; and his mother, looking 
 at him with a smile that indicated his power of un- 
 derstanding a latent meaning, replied, ' Why, at 
 present perhaps, Charles, the less we say on that 
 subject the better.' His eyes were suflused ; is 
 lips quivered, and he answered, ' Why, mama ? 
 why do you say, the less said the better ? — If I 
 have done badly, tell of it ; and if I have not— 
 why— why, the less the better r' We could make 
 little Charles the theme of many pages ; but we 
 dare not. 
 
 On the folly of promising rashly what we can- 
 not accomplish, the candid reader will accept this 
 
 genuine anecdote. — A Mr. , the friend of 
 
 peers and princes, had occasion to go from Lon- 
 don to Hampstead ; and in his way, perhaps over- 
 taken by bad weather, took a hackney coach, the 
 driver of which, whether knowing him or not we 
 do not pretend to say, demanded at the end of the 
 journey more than his fare, and being refused it, was- 
 
 very insolent ; Mr. beiuij in the commission 
 
 of the peace for Middlesex^ threatened to commit 
 
 him. 
 
224 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUD^i 
 
 hirn. * With all my heart,' replied the man, very 
 coolly, ' provided you will but write the warrant 
 yourself.' Going into the house, to which he had 
 
 been driven, Mr. called for pen, ink, and paper, 
 
 and began to write, ' Whereas' ' No^ no,' said 
 
 he to himself, ^ that's not the form of a warrant.' 
 
 * Forasmuch' — forasmuch? — no, that won't do. — 
 
 * Know all men.' — * I don't think that's it — well, 
 get along, you scoundrel — you're an impertinent 
 fellow, and not worth my notice.' AVe return to 
 our subject. 
 
 With all these subductions, however, Gertrude's 
 situation was greatly improved by the school-plan : 
 she read ' the Spectators' and ' Guardians,' and ^Ad- 
 venturers,' ' Barclay's Argenis,' ' Wogan on the Les- 
 sons,' and parts of Shakespeare : she heard of 
 many books, of whose existence she was before ig- 
 norant, and of many things that never could have 
 been heard of at home. Still there were points of 
 instruction, such as fall into ttie department of all 
 parents, on which she was miserably deficient. It 
 was, indeed, the good custom of her place of edu- 
 cation, to begin the morning-dutie's with reading 
 the Scriptures ; but Lady Luxmore's breakfast- 
 hour did not suit this early duty, and thus she lost 
 her share in it, consequently she could derive no 
 benefit from the knowledge diffused by the prac- 
 tice ; and though her instructresses were extremely 
 kind, she could have remained in ignorance some 
 time Ioniser rather than have dea;raded herself in 
 their valuable opinion, by owning her want of com- 
 mon instruction; or the little purpose to which she 
 
 hivd 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. £^5 
 
 had learnt bi^ rote. If she, in the presence of Liidv 
 Luxmore, let fall the least expression of curi- 
 osity, when by accident she had been taken to 
 church, she was desired not to want to be wise 
 , before her time, and given to understand, that such 
 I subjects were not to be mentioned by such a 
 girl. 
 
 The hours wasted at home, were unfortunately 
 many; and as her patroness was a declared enemy 
 I to that sort and degree of indulgence ' which spoils 
 i little girls,' these hours were productive of many 
 I distresses. The least injury to lier clothes, brought 
 I on her the severest punishments : the smallest in- 
 I dulgence of her natural spirits, was followed by 
 I depressing unkindness. A word that indicated 
 I the increase of knowledge of any sort, or an obser- 
 vation ever so laudable, was resented as if re- 
 ! fleeting on her benefiictress, who, at other times, 
 'when flattery or some fortunate circumstance had 
 !put her in good humor, would, with a happy in* 
 consistency, seem to bespeak the future patience 
 and forbearance of her dependent, by describincp 
 pathetically her own disadvantages, and, at the 
 same time, artfully inveighing against ' learned la- 
 dies,' * pedants in petticoats,' and * girls brought 
 up only to despise their betters.' 
 
 Whatever was Gertrude's deportment in the 
 presence of her to whom she owed her daily bread, 
 or however perfect and agreeable to her the re- 
 straints of a place, where she felt she was gaming 
 more knowledge than home afforded, her natural 
 character was nearly allied to that described by 
 VOL. 1. Q naturalist?. 
 
CC6 rut COUNTKSS ANf) GERTRUDE. 
 
 I 
 
 naturalists, under the clifFcrent, yet resembling terms 
 of rantipole, hoyden, and romp. ■ Well-formed, 
 and of a good constitution, she had great powers of 
 activity ; but having nothing, after her removal to 
 London, to engage them, they were wasted in 
 boisterous exuberance of spirits, and shewed them- 
 selves, when left to herself, in dangerous climbing, 
 break-neck jumps, violent blows bestowed on the 
 servants, or the delightful departure from the 
 common mode of descending a staircase, by the 
 newer one of sliding down upon the hand-rail. 
 
 But the bias her thoughts had taken, and the 
 conversation of the Miss Mendalls, put an end to 
 her rantipole-joys, and not satisfied with informa- 
 tion dealt out in portions, she, in her first absence 
 from school, conceived, that it would be an excel- 
 lent sclieme, if possible, to get a Bible for her own 
 private use : in no other way could she gratify her 
 curiosity on the topics that had excited it. She went 
 about the house, hunting and begging; and at 
 last an old one was found which no one seemed 
 templed to claim : the type was of a blinding'mi- 
 nuteness, but this was no obstacle to her young 
 eyes ; and with an intenseness of curiosity that her 
 ignorance may excuse to those wiio ask an apo- 
 logy, and account foi* to those who are disposed 
 to w^onder, she read through the book of Genesis, 
 as she had done through the first volume of ^ Ro- 
 binson Crusoe.' 
 
 Her feelings unguidcd, and her judgment pre- 
 i^uming, she was often wrong, and, almost as often, 
 pbstinate in her conclusions; but the story of Jo- 
 seph 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 22/ 
 
 seph awakened tenderness new to her, and repaid 
 her for the vexation she had been made to suffer by 
 the seeming iniquity of Jacob. From Joseph, she 
 learnt the satisfaction of forgiving injuries, as from 
 the punishment of Eve, she had gained acquaint- 
 ance with the virtue of self-deniaL The wax of 
 her mind was now prepared to receive any im- 
 pression ; and ev^ry one sunk deep into it. 
 
 As she proceeded in he.^ simple scriptural stu- 
 dies, she felt herself instructed and improvedi* 
 The story of Isaac cost her many tears, and much 
 palpitation. The perverseness of the Jewish multi- 
 tude disgusted her : the disinterested perseverance 
 of Moses taught her forbearance: she was over- 
 •^vhelmed with the grand proniulgatipn of this law, 
 and not insensible to the eloquence with which it 
 was recapitulated. In considering the affection of 
 Naomi and liuth, she felt a vacuum in her own 
 heart, and wished she had even a mother in-Lm 
 to love. She was delighted with the intrepidity of 
 Joshua • but poor Sampson fell heavily under her 
 displeasure for being prevailed on by a woman. 
 She had a high opinion of Portargis's superiority, 
 and would have been shocked had she supposed it 
 possible for her to presume to dictate to him \ by 
 this egotising rule she judged the Jewish judge and 
 his fair one. For Samuel she felt the pious, love 
 of a dau^^hter : and David reigned unrivalled in her 
 admiration, till he forfeited her love by his dupli- 
 jcity ; for she could fiai* better understand hi^ guilt 
 towards Uriah, than that to which it was but a 
 prelude ; and it was ^ so base, so ungentlemanly, 
 Q 2 so 
 
2^8 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 SO mean, so shabby to serve poor Uriah so/ that 
 she was many years older before David regained 
 any place in her favor. 
 
 The prophets were, as may be presumed, almost 
 uholly unintelligible to her; but the book of Pro- 
 verbs, and the apocryphal books of that descrip- 
 tion, seemed to her far better than any rules of 
 prudence or politeness she had ever heard; and 
 from them she gained a fashion of courtesy so 
 founded in reason and humility, that she was sel- 
 dom at a loss when she meant to be civil, and had 
 sufficient knowledge of common things to save her 
 from being a dupe. 
 
 All went on well through the Apocrypha. She 
 shouted with exultation at the shreAdness which 
 demolished Bel and the Drao;on : she fou«;ht with 
 the Maccabees, and could joyfully have perished 
 with the woman and her seven sons ; and she en- 
 tered into all the various interests of all the persons 
 whose actions she found recorded : but far dif- 
 ferent were her sensations, when she had proceed- 
 ed but a very little way in the gospel of St. Mat- 
 thew. The expressions of innocent but ignorant 
 concern, with which her heart had answered to the 
 little recorded of the humiliation of the Divine In- 
 fant, were on a sudden succeeded by those of awe 
 and reverence. She learnt hi) heart, and xvith all 
 her heart, the sermon on the mount : it was music 
 to her senses : it was \^ isdom, from which there 
 was no appeal ; and, even at that early age, she 
 was shocked in considering how she had wandered 
 
 from 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 529 
 
 from its narrow path, and, on her first perusal, 
 shut the book with tears ot contrition. 
 
 The next rational and consequent suggestions, 
 ■were the duty of prayer, and the necessity of con- 
 scientious watchfulness ; and she formed a plan tor 
 herself, which was often interrupted, but never 
 abandoned. But all that passed in her working 
 mind, however laudable and entitled to encourage- 
 ment, was in secret; for she could rather have 
 told Lady Luxmore of any thing, than of her wish 
 to be a Christian. 
 
 The means she possessed to this important end, 
 were still miserably scanty. The unclaimed Bible, 
 and the ragged Common-Prayer-book, formed iicr 
 stock of divinity ; -and in these, after her curiosity 
 had led her thl*ough those parts that could dn'ect, 
 and those that must perplex, to the end of tiie 
 Apocalypse, she still read portions daily. By 
 great good fortune. Lady Luxmore turned out 
 from amongst some of her ancient hoards. Watt's 
 Prayers for Children, and, with an exhortati^ n lit 
 for a condemned convict, gave it her. Her hrst 
 awakener, Mrs. Stockall, had long since resigned 
 her post; and the libraries of the succoeding ser- 
 vants had been searched in vain. The feats «t 
 highwaymen, and annals of the short reigns oi 1^- 
 male swindlers: ' the complete Vaientine-.writcr,' 
 and ' the Berkshire lady' were all she could tind 
 there: these she read, but they would not bear a 
 re-perusal. 
 
 One occurrence, too trifling indeed for history, 
 
 bu^ 
 
230 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 but well suited to our microscopic delineation, af^ 
 forded Gertrude, when returned to the discipline 
 of the Miss Mendalls, an invaluable opportunity 
 of ridding herself at once of some feeling, piteu 
 found in girls towards each other. The spring 
 brought forward the expectation, the palpitation, 
 and the promise of linery, attendant on the danc- 
 ing-master's ball ; and standing high in his favoi:, 
 and being resoited to as a partner for every scholar 
 deficient in ear or unexpert in a figure, she was 
 looked to for some credit. She practised, as did 
 the rcst^ and was arranged in a set.; and no ques- 
 tion was asked, till she was commissioned to tell 
 the countess the time hxed for ih'isjeie, :She wa^s 
 shrewd enough to be apjn'ehensive; i^nd it requir- 
 ing a little artificial courage to hatBH^ithe subject^ it | 
 was, ^3 may be guessed, deferred to the last mo- 
 Trient. It was 4'ather awkwardly atchieved, it must 
 be confessed ; for at the tiitie when she took leave 
 on going to school in the mernpng, having slept 
 tv itli it on her memory, and waked with it on h^r 
 €pirits, she informed her ladyship of the commis- 
 'sion given her the day before. It might have been 
 a lesson fot life against fear and ^finessing, had «he 
 ^een told that because of this delay, she should not 
 ^ indulged ; but a lecture cm slyness, deceit, and 
 cunning being closed by an alssurance, that from 
 fhfe lipst moment of her beginning to 'Tearn, it was 
 a siettled thing, that -no sueh expence as this should 
 ever be incurred for her, she could 'not blame 
 herself to any advantageous purpose. 
 
 i-eiv chiidrens' 'ni^inds tilre really known; yet 
 
 thcv 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GEUTRUDE. 231 
 
 they form an important study. Those who have 
 applied to it, will not wonder that Gertrude ^ras 
 as averse to conveying the reply, as timid in exe- 
 cuting the commission ; but here her feelings were 
 a little consulted : a question relieved her from the 
 pain of a spontaneous effort, and condolence met 
 her tears of mortification. The dancing-master, at 
 the ne^t lesson, declared it * a great pity that Miss 
 Aubrey might not dance at the ball ;' and setting 
 her aside from the hgure in which she had been 
 practising, commissioned her to make up for the 
 time lost, to her successor, by instructing her in 
 what she herself had been fruitlessly taught. Mean- 
 while he found it * extremely difficult' to continue 
 his attention to her, as she was the only one not in 
 a set ; and the hitherto joyous days of dancing be- 
 xiiame terrible by the re-iteration of hints and ob- 
 lique reproaches. 
 
 At length, cain<e the eye of the ball, and with it 
 new v^xaitions for poor <ir.ertrude. Lady Lux- 
 moYid, either in the caprice, oi* something else tha-t 
 3^a<ie a ipai:t of her tem,per, had, in her occasional 
 <aUs on the ladies <i)f the school, calls generally 
 ip<^tirived for tte increase of diocipline towards 
 her protegee, been attracted by the beauty of a 
 Jferfolk .girl, 1;W9'}{^rsol€ler»tbain "Gertrude, and 
 m Ms fav:Oiiit^, by invitations and :}vindnesses,of 
 \\?^iou8 sortSj abe "feyisih^ a?p artificial affection, 
 .wjvch <5tue,w her to her^^f, and away ■from Ger- 
 rlkjude. Jibe Norfolk .lass ^was the belie of the 
 -sobool ; :ViV\d ;ber dress tfor the ball having -been 
 flrerymych studied, Lady -Luxmore intecestcd hor- 
 
C!3!2 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE- 
 
 self in it, and insisted on so far contributing to it, 
 as to lend lier some very valuable ornaments. Of 
 these offers, and the ornaments, Gertrude was 
 made the bearer ; and in the negociation there was 
 apparently, on the part of her protectress, not the 
 smallest recollection that the ambassadress could 
 feel. The Miss Mendalls and the favorite were 
 highly gratitied ; and Lady Luxmore's praises rCr 
 sounded in every interval of active preparation. 
 Perhaps Gertrude could not, had she been ever so 
 kindly interrogated, have desrribed her sensations 
 at the time ; but they might be guessed by the ef- 
 fect on the morning of the ball-day, when having 
 dismissed 6tlf\ she spent her whole time in assisting 
 those who were to partake the pleasure. She 
 heard, indeed, one of the Miss Mendalls say to the 
 other : * I do think Anne,' though Lady Luxmore 
 is * a very sweet woman,' she is a little hard on 
 that poor child : she talks of her temper, and her 
 pride, and her obstinacy, and her bad disposition; 
 but I am sure it cannot be very bad, when she can 
 help to dress * the ladies,' for the ball she ought to 
 be going to ^ herself.' Gertrude felt the encourage- 
 ment, and proceeded on a new, and perhaps not a 
 better principle. 
 
 She was excused from going home to dinner : 
 she saw the party set off, and then, putting on her 
 almost squalid walking-habiliments, - and having 
 re-adjusted a piece of paper in each of her shoes, 
 which made good the holes in them, she returned 
 home to assure Lady Luxmore that her orna- 
 nients had properly decked her favorite. It was a 
 
 cheap 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 233 
 
 cheap purchase she made at that moment. Never, 
 pever did any sentiment of envious emulation or 
 selfish jealousy again disturb her : she was not to 
 be found in any scramble for favor or profit; mor- 
 tification could not exasperate her; humiliatioa 
 lypuld not stoop so low as to reach her, 
 
 CHAP. 
 
234 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDi:. 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 Afdihers Itttcr. A sons ansxcer, A generous disdain, Chil- 
 dreuy brought up togtthtr, not always alike. Much to be feared. 
 Much to be hoped. Mama uell-behaxcd. Disinterested /ore, 
 7Vie champion too vehement. 
 
 Mr. Sydenham had, very soon after his first inter 
 Tiew with the countess, written of her to Lord 
 Luxmore, in that spirit of true benevolence which 
 should lead us all to wish others in possession 
 of their due share of praise and estimation ; and as 
 it w as not absolutely necessary, afterwards, to con- 
 tradict his report, he had only forborne all mention 
 of her ladyship, lie had settled himself, much to 
 his satisfaction, at Luxmore rectory-house, and 
 was a faithful steward to the family-estate. From 
 thence, he had written to the earl a very hopeful 
 account of his son's progress, to which the father 
 replied, w^th every possible acknowledgment, in- 
 closing to viscount Portargis the following en- 
 couraging and judicious letter : 
 
 * Jf y dear boy, 
 
 ' Mr. Sydenham has been so obliging 
 as to inform me of your great improvement under 
 his care. I never doubted what you could do; 
 ^nd under tjo gentlemanly a tutor, I v/as sure you 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. ^S*l 
 
 f^ould learn with pleasure. You will soon see 
 there is no difficulty in learning, if you afe but re- 
 solved — every thing is easy to a willing mind* I 
 know Mr, Sydenhaili will attend to your Latin and 
 Greek, and your morals ; therefore it must be i/our 
 ,care to get the best manners, and all the accom- 
 plishments fit for your rank. I shall grudge no- 
 thing to please and indulge you, if I see you 
 •desirous of being what I wish. You will tak^ 
 giNeat care, I hope, never to do any thing unbe- 
 coming you— you must always remember what is 
 fit for you to do, and do it — if I were to hear of 
 your disgracing yourself, I should be shocked. 
 Write me, and believe me 
 
 ' Your affectionate, 
 
 * LUXMORE.' 
 
 * P. S. Tell Mr. Sydenham, I wish him to in- 
 crease your weekly allowance to three and six- 
 pence^ as I would never have you want moriey.' 
 
 Portargis had not yet learnt craft, nor was he 
 old enough either to understand die vague advice, 
 or the absurd reliance of his fathter-s letter. To 
 obtain that which ought ne\'er lb have been con- 
 signed to his prudence, he carried it to !Mr. Syden- 
 ham, who could not forbear giving it a re-perusal 
 before he dismissed it. It dejected him ; for he 
 saw in it, tliat however he might educate the vis- 
 count, he could never educa'te the earl; and it t'as 
 not difficult to predict what a son would turn out, 
 under such admonition. But there was no remedy, 
 <;xcept in the departmeat 'of the supplies, -and 
 4 here^ 
 
235 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 here, in some measure, he assumed the right of 
 a veto : he would not refuse compliance ; but he 
 laid by, under his own care, the addition that was 
 ordered to a weekly stipend already too liberal, 
 promising the viscount, that whenever he really 
 wanted money, he should be furnished from this 
 bank. 
 
 By the next dispatches sent out to Lord Lux- 
 more, his son wrote, without the smallest assistance 
 or superintendance of Mr. Sydenham, the following 
 reply to his father's letter ; 
 
 ' Dear papa 
 
 * I am very happy here and should 
 be quite happy if it was not for that stupid gram- 
 mar I wish Gertrude was here I think you might 
 ^vrite to mama and ask her to let her come down 
 she used to tell me a great many things when I 
 could not do them and now I have nobody and 
 have it all to find out I wish I might have my 
 poney here instead of in the paddock Mr. Syden- 
 ham will not let me have the money but has put 
 it by I dont know quite what you mean by some 
 things I anifc dear papa 
 
 * Your affectionate son, 
 
 ^PORTARGTS.' 
 
 A very little trouble would have procured for 
 Mr. Sydenham the liberty of new-modelling this 
 reply ; but he disdained it; he cared not, in the least 
 degree, what reports were made of him : if those 
 Tvho had entrusted him with their children, could 
 
 be 
 
TttE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. Q3t 
 
 be influenced by their opinions, it was impossible- 
 such subjection could long implicate him : he had 
 had the comfort of knowing, that those who came 
 determined to find nothing right, had been, in the 
 end, the first to acknowledge their own injustice ; 
 and leaving nothing to be alleged against him 
 with truth, he trusted to his own integrity for his, 
 acquittal with all those who were candid enough 
 to make their esteem worth having. The letter, 
 therefore, went with its beauties unsoiled, and its 
 errors on its head ; and the correspondence was 
 kept up between father and son nearly in the style 
 in which it set out. Mr. Sydenham and the earl 
 had their more important intercourse ; and it is 
 but justice to ovvn, that Lord Luxmore's satisfac* 
 tion in haying secured his cousin's friendship, 
 never for a moment suffered the smallest diminu- 
 tion. Well aware of the superior importance at- 
 tached by the earl to external accomplishment, 
 Mr. Sydenham's prudence pointed out the neces- 
 sity of purchasing, by every possible attention to 
 liiem, the right of making Portargis, if he was 
 capable of being made so, good and wise. 
 
 Thus matters stood, when the viscount had 
 reached his tenth year. Though brought up for 
 •hal£|iis time with Gertrude, and as nearly as pos- 
 sible in the same manners and habits, nothing could 
 be moi^ opposi^ than their dispositions; and, 
 consequently, their progress in the acquirement 
 of knowledge bore no resemblance. Gertrude 
 had stored up every atom of information she could 
 iiglicct; his lordship had learned only what he 
 
 could 
 
235 THE COUNTESS AND GEHTRUDE. 
 
 could not escape; she hailed as the highest de- 
 light, whatever demanded the utmost exertion of 
 her faeuhies : he was fatigued with the continued 
 application of five minutes' attention : she had no 
 pleasure beyond the improvement of her faculties: 
 he none superior to that which results from the 
 connected ideas of horses, whips, boots, and saddles. 
 Jt was at this period that Mr. Sydenham, ac- 
 cording to Lord I.uxmore's arrangement, dis- 
 missed the young viscount to Eton, as fit for 
 it, as the most conscientious pains, and abilities far 
 above the task, could render him; but yet far, very 
 far beneath what he could have wished. Portargis 
 was no blockhead : he had a larger portion of 
 classic lore than many more studious boys ; but 
 his mind had no digestion. His own son, Mr. Syden- 
 ham still retained with him, giving him every advan- 
 tage in his power, and proceeding on the plan of the 
 school at which he himself had been educated, 
 with a regularity and strictness on which, under 
 Providence, he knew he must depend for success *: 
 the lad promised well: he repaid the trouble of 
 his father by a generous affection; and a disdain 
 of wliatever wag base or vicious, seemed a tolerable 
 security against the first attacks of the world. But 
 hi3 father was too diffident of his own powers A» 
 trus); to what tie had done; and scarcely could fie 
 with m.or^ aaxious fe^r have looked forward to the 
 ordeal the young man must pass, bad he been 
 wholly negligent of parental duty. The christian 
 virtues do mi, perhaps, always, pay ready money j 
 fc«t ihev bring a oi^bk iiUer^st at last; aud for that 
 
 he 
 
THE COUIRTTESS ANB GERTRUbe. 25^ 
 
 he waited in humble hope; and daily, and almost 
 hourly, he recommended this depository of all his 
 happiness in this world, to Him, who ' alone can 
 rule the wills and affections of men.' 
 
 After the departure of Lord Portargis, who was 
 still to consider the house in which he was edu- 
 cated as his only home, Mr. Sydenham made a 
 point of spending the ensuing winter- vacation in 
 London with his son and the viscount. He had 
 two purposes to answer in taking this trouble ; the 
 one was, that he might himself introduce them ta 
 those pleasures which act with dangerous force oa 
 the unguarded mind, but are innocent and useful 
 when properly sought; the other was, and here 
 he listened to the voice of parental affection, an4 
 felt as father, to give Lady Luxmore the gratifi- 
 cation of seeing her son often/ without leaving her 
 the power of doing him harm. He had suffered 
 to pass, unnoticed and unresented, her former ill'- 
 humor, and taken care, even while Portargis was 
 wholly under his roof, that he should occasionally 
 visit her; but it was, and he was resolved still 
 should be, a pleasure always enjoyed with the sad 
 alloy of his own attendance. In these intervals, she 
 never made tli« slightest reference to any thing 
 unpleasant that had passed between them ; ami 
 the mother so far got the better of the- woman, 
 that she behaved unexceptionably w€il, seemed 
 properly gratified, and condescended e^en to notice 
 her young relation Basil. ■ ■ \ 
 
 These days w^ould have been days of rejoicing 
 to GertrudC; had th^unshine of Lady Luxmoi^'ii 
 
 favor 
 
640 THE COUNTESS AXt) OERTRUDEi 
 
 favor not been subject to clouds; but howevei* 
 capricious by nature and culture, whatever was 
 her humor or her object, still Gertrude was to ex- 
 pect this periodical return of mortification. It 
 was generally contrived that she should be in dis- 
 grace, and a prisoner when Mr. Sydenham, his 
 son, and his charge, were to be dinner-guests ; and 
 though the good nature of the former would have 
 made him add his request to Portargiss's demand 
 for her liberation, and he regretted the hard treat- 
 ment he could not but perceive, yet he was too, 
 prudent to interfere; for he already saw, with 
 anxiety for them both, the hold she had on the 
 memory, and the influence she had over the infant 
 passions, of the viscount, whose natural dispo- 
 sition, though far from bad, was marked with g^ 
 dangerous impetuosity; and whose faults, accom- 
 panied by an irregular generosity, and a strong 
 character of caprice, must, if not early corrected, 
 prove a source of infinite uneasiness to himself 
 and those interested for him, or connected with 
 him. 
 
 The species of regard with wiiich Gertrude 
 niet Lord Portargis's vehement affection, was 
 that of a twin-sister; and, as far as her years 
 would permit it, contained that interest and concern 
 which, perhaps, constitute the most valuable de- 
 scription of love. His health and welfare, his 
 happiness and his amusements, were of impor- 
 tance to her in the highest degree ; but a thought 
 of herself never was connected with her feelings 
 for him, any farther, than respected the advantage 
 
 ^ ' she 
 
^THE COUXTESS AND GERTRUDE. 04 1 
 
 she hoped to gain from Lis knowledge when he 
 had acquired it. Alive to gratitude, and findin£f 
 but few claimants on it, she remembered with ec- 
 Stacy, all his little kindnesses to her. What he gave 
 her was, in her estimation, invaluable; and what 
 was given to him, she looked on as an obligation 
 conferred on herself. When he w^as removed to 
 Eton, he wi'ote to her; but the letter was not 
 suffered to reach her before the seal was broken: 
 it was made the subject of taunt and punishment; 
 and the juvenile correspondence was, perhaps 
 wisely, prohibited. For this exercise of authority, 
 the viscount's indignation was turned on his mo- 
 ther; and with very little ceremony, he let her 
 know it, with an additional assurance, that he 
 * hated her for her cruelty to poor Gatty,' and 
 that he always would hate her while she was cruel. 
 This reforming expedient did not produce much 
 good : it perhaps might have procured the fmal 
 dismission of the aforesaid poor Gatty, if her lady- 
 ship could have devised a plan of shifting without 
 her and have found any one to whom she could 
 have transferred her: but when we are very angry, 
 we are seldom very prudent; and in bidding Mrs. 
 Aubrey be gone, for ever, out of reach and hear- 
 ing, her ladyship forgot, that, let her inclinations 
 traverse even diametrically, let circumstances 
 ever so well justify her, or, in short, let what 
 midit occur, she could not now rid herself of her 
 burthen : poor Gatty was a fixture, and having 
 made her such, those who know the waywardness 
 of the human will, need not be told that she giew 
 voi.. I. R daily 
 
242 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 daily less an object. of affection. Bishop Wilcox 
 knew his fellowrcreatiires, when, \\\s servants 
 having murmured on being ordered to work the 
 engine belonging to his palace at Rochester, he in 
 the next instance, gave them permission to playi 
 the engine. 
 
 CHAK 
 
THE GpUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 2^3 
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 A remoit. The governess changed for a tutor. A partnership. 
 Law not friendly to taste. A worthy man. The coinpen- 
 satiou, an anecdote, A fond xvife. Bassowpierre reproached 
 by Mary de Medi^is. The little handmaid. A girl's employ^ 
 
 went. Black letter. Anecdote of Dr. . The Joys 
 
 of' industry. Journal of a day. 
 
 Gertrude had entered on her twelfth year, 
 w}ien her patroness perfected her prudential ar- 
 rangements with a view to render them lucrative, 
 by sinking every taste in that for money; and 
 though this was, after all her endeavors, in the 
 way she exerted them, a species of thrift, which 
 by an adjusted balance of caprice and parsimony, 
 saved nothing in the event, but what it would have 
 been meritorious to spend, there certainly, if vo- 
 luntary choice is any testimony, must have been 
 pleasure in the effort. We know the tension of 
 mind with which we aim at the utniost in other 
 things. — To hit a mafk is a commpn object of 
 strenuous, exertion :t— sometimes the higher it i», 
 the rpqre honorable; always the amailer it is, 
 ,if nothing but hitting be the aipi, the greater is pur 
 dexterity, and the praise we nierit. Why should 
 apt parsimony be excellende? it includes the vir- 
 tues of fortitude and self-denial — pray, pray let 
 It have its advocates-^a:;e decline the t^sk. 
 
 R^^ The 
 
244 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 The strict practice of this quality, as it subsisted 
 in Lady Luxmore's fimily, sometimes occasioned 
 differences of opinion between her ladyship ftnd 
 her servants, which not unfrequently terminated 
 in the instantaneous dismission of the whole hous- 
 hold ; the mhiage then devolved on Gertrude and 
 a substitute; and to throw coals on the fire, to 
 shew visitoi s in and out, to take in milk and muf- 
 fins at the door, were offices for which the at- 
 tendance on the Miss M^dalls was dispensed with. 
 Her ladyship having adopted this plan of oeco- 
 nomy, pursued it with feelings of encouragement 
 derived from her own sources. She removed from 
 the airy part of the towMi, in which she had hitherto 
 lived, to a house newly become her property, and 
 which was situated in a choice sf^t of dullness in 
 the midst of uproar, near St. James's. This change 
 of abode took Gertrude entirely from under the care' 
 of the Miss Mendalls; and little as they. now could: 
 do for her instruction, it still was a sad privation 
 to her, and an afflicting separation to both parties. 
 
 But it was not long that she felt the sad pause 
 pccasioned by this removal. The vacuum was 
 filled up in a way that made a very important alter- 
 ation in every thing re pecting her, both at present,^ 
 ^nd in the future character of her situation. 
 The event that made this chanire was the as- 
 
 o 
 
 sumption \\xiQ Lady Luxmore's confined house and' 
 small family, of Mr. Sterling, the half-brother of 
 Mr. Toms, and consequently stcp-uucle to the 
 countess. It was to him that she was indebted 
 for the best of that advice which would, had it 
 
 be<?a 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 245 
 
 been followed, probably have kept her a single 
 woman, but which had produced only the security 
 of her large property, and a coolness between the 
 parties obliging and obliged. 
 
 In proportion, how^ever, as her ladyship repented 
 her precipitancy in marrying, she perhaps blamed 
 her rejection of the counsel that would have pre- 
 vented it; and her uncle being, though not many 
 years, yet older than herself, and rich, and a child- 
 less widower, she made overtures of kindness, 
 and had, for some time, been in the habit of visit- 
 ing him, and receiving his visits. The comforts 
 of advancing age were rising in his estimation; and 
 his niece having no objection to furnish them, on an 
 equitable division of expences, they were both 
 prepared to see the advantage of making one house 
 serve them. The matter was soon arransied : and 
 Mr. Sterling, a stout man of about sixty years of 
 age, became a sort of major-doino in tlie family, or 
 rather ' a partner in the concern,' 
 
 He was a man of sound sense and of cultivated 
 talents: the law had been his profession, but the 
 liberality of his brother had enabled him to quit 
 the laborious part of it ; and he indulged his taste 
 for literature, by increasing his knowledge, and 
 diffusing it through the medium of the press, 
 which was, on various subjects, generally at work 
 in his service. His acquirements, considerable in 
 themselves, could have their due appreciation 
 with none but those who knew the preclusion' 
 which being thrown at fourteen cr fifteen into one 
 of the law offices, forms against even the memory 
 
 oi 
 
216 THE COUNTESS AXH GERTRTJDE. 
 
 of an education. It is in vain, in general, that 
 a young man promises himself to rise an hour 
 earlier, and go to bed an hour later than those 
 content vvith their stock of knowledge, and that 
 his vacation shall be dedicated to the unread 
 classics *. Weariness is weariness to all bodies, 
 though, perhaps, not to all minds; and a horse, 
 even from a livery-^ stable, will distance any Pe- 
 gasus that fancy may mount for the long vaca- 
 tion. But Mr. Sterling's tastes, and those of a 
 few whom we have known, were too strong for 
 the sap of indolence or the treachery of pleasure. 
 
 He was what is termed a sound black-letter 
 lawyer, and a perfect English-scholar ; and his 
 readin*:, various, extensive, and deep, led him be- 
 yond the writers of his own country : he had a 
 passion for music of the old school, a critical 
 knowledge of painting and sculpture, tine ideas of 
 . architecture, and the propensities of a gentleman. 
 lie was a man of the strictest probity and purest 
 miiul, and of a temper naturally inclined to every 
 thing social ; but the wife whom he had lost, had 
 early in their union checked this disposition ; yet, 
 when she married, she sat down with good inten* 
 
 * He would at times speak feclinnly of the hardbhips wliich 
 were, in hisyoanoer days, the lot and the discipline of lads in 
 his situation; and of those casual vexations, which are un- 
 expectedly atoned for, he would give an instance by relating 
 his severe feeling of the unkindness of a man, who seeing 
 him bathing in a pond, threw his clothes into it. * I bore it 
 then,' said he, * and had no choice. Little did I think that 
 that pond, the field, and the whole estate, would one day be 
 mine/ 
 
 tions, 
 
*FHE^otjyt£si An!) GERxaubE. 247 
 
 tioris, and meant to centre all her joys in home 
 and her husband ; but, untowardly for the comfort 
 of both, she was very imperfectly informed as to 
 the best method of doing what she thought her 
 duty : the first step to it was the practice of sitting 
 up for Mr. Sterling, to the injury of lier health 
 and the irritation of her nerves, whenever he spent 
 an evening from home t he was then received with 
 tears of joy, and a recitative of all the horrors 
 of imagination which her love had suggested : this, 
 however pretty for the first fortnight, had, at the 
 end of that time, the effect of hinting to him, that 
 he purchased his enjoyment at the price of a fellow* 
 creature's peace ; and consequently, though he 
 could not stand the laugh of his friends, by renounc- 
 ing the participation he had promised them in 
 their little social meetings, where music and the 
 various branches of belles lettres gave a zest to 
 conversation^ his pleasure in these amusements 
 was annihilated : the finishing stroke was reserved 
 for the period of six weeks after marriage, when 
 on his going to a little club in the neighborhood, 
 "Where a few friends met to sing Purcell's music, 
 she with tears told him, she perceived he did not 
 love her so well as he had done. She was too 
 pretty, and he was too soft-hearted, to endure the 
 hearing this twice : he told his friends, he had now 
 every thing the world could give him, at home, 
 and from that day, he obtained the appellation of 
 ' the uxorious,' from which nothing but the death 
 of his wife could have freed him. 
 
 Her assiduity had gi'own rather wearisome ; 
 
 springing 
 
248 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 springing from an ostentation of duty, and not from 
 that free-born capacious love that carries discretion 
 at its side, it existed only in extremes ; she would 
 suffer no one to wait on liim but herself; she was his 
 valet, his porter, his scout— every thing, in short, i 
 but companion and friend ; and he who well knew ' 
 the real province, and had hoped for the best affec- 
 tions of a female so placed, was far from pleased 
 at seeing her emulating the slavish services of a 
 ne^rro. ller death shocked his good nature, but 
 did not much abridge his happiness ; — he lust, in- 
 deed, a servant who anticipated his wants; but he 
 was rid of a perpetual blister, which hindered his 
 cniovini: many comforts. As their tastes were not 
 similar, there was little painful recollection in their 
 separation ; he soon settled himself again, engargoii, 
 in chambers, and remained in that way of life, till 
 the time now mentioned, when the bold thieveries 
 of his laundress, added to some instances of neg- 
 ligence that endangered his health, made him cast 
 a wishful eye towards his only female relation. 
 , In his progress through life, having been a man 
 much resorted to and relied on, engaged in trusts, 
 arbitrations, and chancery-suits, he had been com- 
 pelled to see much evil, so much that he had 
 acquired a habit of looking for it, and of supposing 
 it where it did not exist. With this adaptation of 
 Jiis visual faculties, his sagacity was keen, and that 
 interest which we take in any pre-eminence we 
 possess, made it, alas ! a matter of victory and 
 triumph, when his suspicions proved prophetic ; 
 thus prepossessed, he v/as severe; but he was, 
 
 when 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. M^ 
 
 when left to himself, seldom unjust : no man had 
 more candor in correcting himself, no man was 
 more easily appeased when angry, no man was 
 . more disposed to encourage virtue : his faults 
 might have been averted, had he married a woman 
 of soothing manners and strong good sense ; and 
 he might have become popular, would he have 
 connived at guilt or spoken ' smooth' instead of 
 true ' things :' those who knew him best, defended 
 him from the charge of uncharitable austerity, by 
 asserting, that it was exercised in the greatest de- 
 gree on himself; and those who denied him to be 
 merciful, were such only as were yet to be taught 
 that justice is satisfied wrien mercy can find 
 place. When he quitted the profession of the 
 Jaw, the most honorable testimonies were borne 
 to his uprightness. He might have been reproach- 
 ed, as Mary de Medicis reproached Bassompierre, 
 for disdaining to solicit favors, but he could not 
 be charged with accepting them. 
 
 , Unfortunately, Lady Luxmore was his only 
 refuge against the inconveniences of a solitary old 
 age : every year had shortened his list of cordial 
 friendships, without any substitutions ; for he had 
 not taken the wholesome advice of ' splicing in' 
 agreeable acquaintance, to prevent this natural 
 evil of protracted existence. In resorting to his 
 niece's house, he was in danger of extinguishing 
 the last ray of that better light which would have 
 informed and guided his superior mind and its 
 actions. Though he remembered the time when 
 he heartily despised her, and had still no esteem 
 
 for 
 
^50 TriE COtJNTESS ANf) GEltTRUDfe. 
 
 for her, yet there was too great probability, th^t ty 
 the frequent repetition of her sentiments, he might 
 be led to adopt them, and end that Hfe as a cynic, 
 which he had hitherto made of dignified utility ; 
 for even their bickerings, which at times were car- 
 tied to some length, though the arguments used 
 against him never made him a convert, had yet 
 the unhappy effect of increasing that which was 
 already too strong a feature in his character. 
 
 The influence of a man so circumstanced and 
 gifted, could not be negative ; and Gertrude, for a 
 week after Mr. Sterling's arrival, fancied herself 
 repaid for all her losses, and secured from every 
 repetition of suffering. She had been accustomed 
 to see him as a visitor ; and the novel society of 
 a child, seemed to have the power of bringing out 
 affections and tendernesses he had forgotten he- 
 possessed : she thought herself certain of a friend 
 in him, when she found his usual kindness of man- 
 ner towards her increased, perhaps, by chearful- 
 ness resulting from the hope of improved comfort. 
 
 It remained, for some days, matter of unalloyed 
 delight, when Gertrude saw a numerous collection 
 of what she thought ' most entertaining-looking 
 books,' arranged with all possible frugality of space, 
 round the back parlor, and the adjoining room 
 which characterises the old-fashioned form of build- 
 ing what is called a harpsichord-house : and the 
 pleasure and profit their exteriors promised, 
 seemed secured to her by Mr. Sterling's good hu- 
 ntiored adoption of her into his service, by the Style 
 and title of * his little handmaid.' 
 
 4 Instead 
 
THE COtTNtESS AND GERTRUDE. ^51 
 
 Instead of that monotonous war with the nature 
 of things, which girls with scanty wardrobes and 
 scanty means, are doomed to carry on by means 
 of needle and thread, a new and various field of 
 employment now opened to her view : She was set 
 to copy, on paper so large that her want of height 
 obliged her to kneel on her chair, long extracts 
 from folio-books, and, not unfrequently, printed 
 in what is called the black letter. Ladies, comingr 
 in and seeing her thus employed, precipitately 
 thought this very wonderful. Gertrude did not 
 adopt their idea as it existed in their minds : re- 
 tnembering that she had learnt this character by 
 its being within two inches of the common alpha- 
 bet, and feeling that it v/as almost impossible not 
 to learn it, it appeared to her, indeed, wonderful 
 that any one should make a difficulty of it. But 
 a difficulty she wqs forced to know it is, to some 
 people ; for Dr. ' looking over her shoulder 
 
 at what she was copying, said, ' I think, in a few 
 hours I could accomplish reading it.' — What a 
 happiness it would be for the young, if the old 
 would sometimes keep silence^! 
 
 The pen had succeeded to the needle in the 
 hand of Gertrude : the scissars gave way to that 
 useful implement in the work of a scholar, the 
 paste-brush ; to bleach prints that had been stain- 
 ed, and to separate them, without injury, from a 
 
 * * I cannot attempt learning German/ said Miss Lazy- 
 brains, — * the character is such an impediment/—* There are 
 
 very few of the letters different from our black letter' 
 
 * True, but who can read black letter ?'— ' Good morning.' 
 
 canvas, 
 
252 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 canvas, were works in which she had to assist : to 
 fetch and carry was her exercise ; and in a very 
 short time, a post still more honorahle was assign-* 
 ed her. Mr. Sterling began to print a work, so 
 voluminous as to afford a prospect of seven 
 years' employment tor the press ; and he declared 
 his intention of making her correct the typogra- 
 phical errors: an occupation not unjustly denomi- 
 nated sordid, servile, dull, and every thing disa- 
 greeable; but it formed too strong a feature in 
 Gertrude's cheap education to be oniitted or 
 sligl.tly noticed ; and while it is depreciated as the 
 lowest *fag' of literature, we would wisii to bear 
 in memory this truth, tliat the superfluous know- 
 ledge of the wise would ^ set up' ttic ignorant, and 
 that what the tall stoop to perform, the short must 
 stand on tiptoe to atchieve. To this ///5/oe- posture 
 of mind, Gertrude wa:^, through life, indebted. 
 
 A little conversation on the subject, informed 
 her of the mode of printing, the impossibility of 
 avoiding errors, the consequent necessity of cor- 
 rection, and the mode of c rrecting; and the large 
 remuneration offered her of a farthing for every 
 detected mistake, would have tempted her, who 
 ijad as yet but one penny per week, to a more la- 
 borious undertaking. On receiving her orders 
 and a proof-sheet to practice on, she stared, and 
 enjoyed her own importance, then doubted the 
 possibility of her satisfying Mr. Sterling, and hav- 
 ing made the experiment of a page, sat down again 
 in proud delight, to reverse top-side-to'ther-way- 
 letters; arrange words shuffled out of their quar- 
 ters, 
 
THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. Q55 
 
 ters, amend orthography, and settle punctuation. 
 He was not displeased with what she did : the 
 sheet, thoucrh he had not been extremely liberal of 
 * the facilitating methods/ was correct. ' Bene 
 ascolta chi nota/ 
 
 Of her pecuniary reward, indeed, she was dis- 
 appointed. A short calculation which he set her 
 to make, convinced him, that he should purchase 
 assistance too dear at the ratio he had established. 
 ' But I may go on. Sir' said she, * may I not? 
 even if I am not to have the farthings/ * Cer- 
 tainly,' he replied. — * I know no stimulus to labor 
 but gain,' was the sentiment, not of a corrupt, but 
 unquestionably of a diseased mind. 
 
 The correction of the press was sometimes car- 
 ried on in the study, for the convenience of asking 
 questions when doubts arose ; but the writing was 
 performed in the room in which the countess sat 
 Gertrude's hand was not yet settled, but it was not 
 incapable of writing well, even now ; and to write 
 illegibly is not so often the fault of young practi- 
 tioners, as of those who have had too much prac- 
 tice : her business was, in general, of a sort ex- 
 tremely dry ; but if it had brought with it any 
 pleasure, the sensation would have been consider- 
 ably lowered, by the moderating spirit of Lady 
 Luxmore, who, not venturing to prohibit or en- 
 tirely to object, nevertheless threw out frequent 
 hints of the mischief all this would do ' Miss' — ■ 
 the loss of time, as it hindered * her plain work' — 
 and the folly of setting a girl about business that 
 
 would 
 
5;o4 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 would make her masculine, and must make her 
 cjonceited. 
 
 But all this affected not Gertrude : she was 
 kept chearful by the nerve of industry, and she 
 hoped what she was doing would, in time, lead to 
 knowledge. That what was necessary to be done 
 might not be omitted, she was obliged to rise early ; 
 and Mr. Sterling s bookseller having given her a 
 child's volume of poems, extracted from some of 
 our best poets, she made the learning some lines 
 from it every morning, a duty succeeding that of 
 reading the Psalter, the Bible, and Dr. Watts. 
 
 Let it not, however, be imagined, that Gertrude, 
 in what Lady Luxmore was pleased to style her 
 * shocking masculine employments,' lost any of the 
 natural impression of a female mind. She loved 
 and delighted in every thing that belonged to her 
 sex; but precluded, as she was, from all that must 
 have reached her through the medium of kindness 
 in her patroness, to indulge these propensities was 
 impossible. The most sordid care of her clothes 
 occupied her needle, and was exercised in the 
 room where Lady Luxmore received her visitors, 
 at those intervals when Mr. Sterling did not em- 
 ploy her. She assisted in every thing where her 
 assistance could be made useful : she broke sugar, 
 she unpacked tea, she gave out stores ; she kept 
 an account of candles, apples, pears, wine, and — 
 of the height of the thermometer! Though in- 
 trusted with no power, she was made, in some 
 pleasure, responsible for the conduct of the house- 
 hold: she w^as sent, almost every hour, into the 
 
 kitoJien ; 
 
THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. ^55 
 
 liitchen; and a hint of watchfulness was given her 
 with an appeal to her selfishness, that she even 
 then disdained, when she was told, that whatever 
 depredations she could prevent among the ser- 
 vants, might probably turn out to the advantage of 
 her wardrobe. At tv/elve years old, she saw 
 through the fallacy of this argument; and having, 
 without the motive, made one honest attempt to 
 ^ave her benefactress from injury, which ended in 
 Jier ladyship's taking part with the accused ser- 
 vant, she gave up all pretension to the character 
 and virtues of a spy. 
 
 Gertrude's day is easily described. To the du- 
 ties of the breakfast-table, and those of ambassa- 
 dress to the cook, succeeded her employments for 
 Mr. Sterling, or the countess, then an airing through 
 the streets and squares, with that useful adjunct, 
 Hyde-park, or a little frugal shopping, or a few 
 calls on persons, whose real or asserted absence 
 from home was * most earnestly desired.' This 
 filled up the morning tolerably, though not with- 
 out complaining of languor, tediousness, and bad 
 weather. If the rest of th^ day was spent without; 
 company or engagei^ent, Gertrude withdrew v/ith 
 the table-cloth, and one hour was her own, au 
 Jiour so enjoyed, that she frequently, in lier im-» 
 patience to gain her own apartment, exhausted 
 l\Q€ breath and destroyed her pov^-ers, by the ve- 
 locity with which she ran to it. At the expiration 
 of this bour, she was summoned to minister at the 
 ff^a^tpf golFee; aiicj from this tms, except when 
 
 scat 
 
^56 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 sent into the kitchen for her supper, she quitted 
 the room no more till she was dismissed to her rest. 
 These hours of the evening were generally occu- 
 pied by writing for ]\Ir. Sterling : the alternative 
 was much worse; it was cribbage with the countess, 
 at which she dared not win. 
 
 Fire and candle did not come under the techni- 
 cal description of necessaries of life, in Lady Lux- 
 more's consideration, at least, when she considered 
 for others ; and they were blessings Gertrude sel- 
 dom enjoyed but in participation : in her apart- 
 ment, the former was an indulgence never seen. 
 Ends of candle she could beg ; but the want of 
 warmth she could not supply; and her constitution, 
 though uncommonly free from all cause of com- 
 plaint, was not of the most robust temper. She 
 could, by painful experience, tell, that extreme heat 
 does not produce a more deathlike feeling than ex- 
 treme cold ; but as custom makes that easy which 
 novelty makes difficult, she could bear a great de- 
 gree of either, without being * driven from her moor- 
 ings ;' and these early habitudes, though at the 
 time severe, served not only to make her grateful 
 for indulgences, but to save her from artificial 
 wants, and to enable her to be content when others 
 murmured. 
 
 The commission of a grievous fault, no less 
 than that of writing, whOj for whom, very early in 
 her labors, drew on her a very severe reprehension 
 from Mr. Sterling, but followed by a benefit that 
 more than atoned for it : he bought for her that 
 accidence to the Latin grammar, which passes un- 
 der 
 
THE COUXTESS AND CERTRUDF,. 257 
 
 der the name of Lily, but which is said to have 
 l)ccn the work of no less a man than Cardinal 
 Wolsey ; and when he had forgotten the occasion 
 of sivintr it, he interested himself in her becoming 
 mistress of it : he told her she might pass over 
 the Latin part of the examples ; but she did not 
 use the permission. Most seriously do we wish 
 that all girls who are taught the grammar of their 
 own language, were allowed to derive their first 
 knowledge on the subject from this or a similar 
 tract; it would be very easy to induce them sub- 
 sequently to admit the variations of other lan- 
 guages ; but in the present mode of working back- 
 wards from exceptions to general rules, the busi- 
 ness is sadly performed. 
 
 VOL. I, S CHAP. 
 
258 tlti. COUNTESS AN'$) CEllTrvUi)iL 
 
 CHAPTER XVL 
 
 J7iC Xi'orld dncs not always slight those mho have slighted it. Lz^ 
 tcrary habits. The aivkzcanliiess of a it&vice. Severe ilisc'iplinc,. 
 JIuic to prevcjit a girl's rtadlng, Hoiv to collect a Ubi'ary. 
 How to hinder a girl's learning music. Thrifty ancient snd 
 modern. Ilorv to utfaeh young men. An agreeable man. 
 The Utile beggar too interesting. A secretary in training. 
 Original Idler. A visit to Oxjord. Perfect happiness.' 
 
 Though Mr. Sterlins; bad slighted tlve world, the 
 world was not inclined to neglect him ; and when 
 it was known that he was living near St. James's^ 
 and was met by some of his fonncr acquaintance 
 and by those who knew him in booksellers' shops, 
 taking his daily musing walk round the park, he 
 perhaps did not feel inclined to reject overtures to 
 intercourse. As he had advanced in lite,- he Jiad, 
 unknown to himself, acquired a new character : 
 he had credit and fame ; and his taste on many sub- 
 jects was become authority: he had, at an early 
 period of his life, given the wjrld a work \Ahich 
 had been well received, and hid established his 
 reputation as an author : he had rendered essential 
 serviG3 to the legislature, by making points, till then 
 nnfixe ], clear and permanent : he had preserved 
 pure moraU-, and an inviolable integrity; and hav- 
 ing lost none of his powers of conversation, his ac- 
 1 quaintance 
 
riit couKTiss and gertrude, ^sg 
 t|uaintance was still desirable: he, therefore, at his 
 setting out with his niece, soon found himself very 
 pleasantly connected with those who remained, of 
 his own standing, and those who were desirous of 
 profiting by his knowledge ; and Gertrude at this 
 early period of her life, was accustomed to see in 
 his study, for he darerl seldom introduce them far- 
 ther, such a constellation of intellect exerted in 
 various ways, as along life does not always exhibit. 
 It is true she was sent away on the admission of 
 visitors; but if a book was wanted, or an extract was 
 to be made, her name resounded all over the hoose, 
 and called her to the conference, to the no small 
 annoyance of poor Lady Luxmore, who wondered, 
 * for God's sake,' what all this was to end in. 
 
 All Gertrude's days, indeed, were not days of 
 
 agreeable exertion. Mr. Sterling was not easily 
 
 pleased by any one so little in the habit of business. 
 
 She sometimes mistook his orders, and turned the 
 
 paper she wrote on, the wrong way, or she made 
 
 erasures or interlineations, or she could not always 
 
 ; read his rough copy, or alas ! the infirmity of hu- 
 
 I man nature did not always write so fairly as it 
 
 i ought to do, and then she was subject to very se- 
 
 I vere reprehension, enforced not unfrequently with 
 
 the hand* Often, when nothing would please, 
 
 and the fates seemed conspiring against her, she 
 
 passed part of the day in tears which obtained no 
 
 pity. She felt it a great hardship, notwithstanding 
 
 all her disposition to gain knowledge at whatever 
 
 might be the inarket-piice, to be sliarply reproved 
 
 whenever she returned the answers, ' I do not 
 
 s £ know/ 
 
$60 THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE* 
 
 know,' or ' I cannot tell/ or ^ I did not think,' or ' I 
 thought.' * Why do you not know ?' ^ Why cannot 
 you tell ?' — ' Why did you not think r' — and some- 
 times — ^ What business had you to think r' were 
 replies, fallowed by an exhortation, beginning, 
 ' When I was your age *.' In whatever she was 
 set to do, she was to find the means : in whatever 
 she was ordered to seek, she could rely only on 
 her own sagacity ; and perceiving tliat it was often 
 the shortest way to begin and turn regularly 
 through a folio-volume, tl:iose acquainted with the 
 quantity of desultory knowledge to be gleaned in 
 this way, were not astonished that she knew more 
 than most girls, without having one brilliant qua- 
 lity, or a ray of genius : she was in no danger of 
 being flattered into conceit : if any gentleman com- 
 mended his little assistant, Mr. Sterling answered, 
 ' She mu^t do it ;' and if allowed to reply, * I am 
 very liappy, Sir, to be able,' she was perfectly sa- 
 tislicd ^\ itli her situation in the eye of his friends. 
 All, however, that she could endure from a mind 
 
 * 'I'hc eohiciclence of tliis trait of cliaractor, wiili a pecu- 
 iiaiity of thf! Rus.ian general, Suvorof, as recorded by- Dr. 
 Clarke, would excuse an unfair accusation of us, or if wo. 
 tlcpended on our invention, dclcr us frotn ibis seeming plagi- 
 arism. Our page was written before Dr. Clarke's work wai> 
 seen by us, probably before it was published. We leave our 
 fact to shift for itself, only arguing from Jhe resemblance, ' 
 what our own feelings corroborate, that there are few con- 
 trasts more irritating than the supine relaxation of contented 
 ignorance, wiien opposed to the energies of a mind whose 
 every pore is opened to imbibe learning. 
 
 like 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 2^1 
 
 like his, when left to itself, was trifling matter of 
 complaint, when compared to the uneasiness she 
 suffered under the influence of Lady Luxmore on 
 him : she met it everywhere ; and though her use- 
 fulness prevented its depriving her of all her en- 
 joyments, or all his favor, it occurred too fre- 
 quently not to be feared and looked for. The 
 letterings of his books had, on the display of his 
 library, afforded her a high hope of pleasure, and 
 this was realised, in some measure, by his allowing 
 her free access to the shelves. As, like many lite- 
 rary men, his time for working hard was that when 
 he should have slept, his hour of rising in the 
 morning, and consequently the breakfast-houi', 
 ^vere late. Gertrude soon found that this would 
 leave her a most convenient space of time, as she 
 ivas expected to be on the spot to prepare break- 
 fast, and frequently, for want of her materials, 
 -could not proceed in what she was at work on. To 
 employ this interval, could not give offence to the 
 countess, as affecting, very shortly after Mr. Ster- 
 ling's employment of Gertrude^ to consider her as 
 his peculiar property taken forcibly from her, she 
 chose to * spite herself rather than prevent her 
 remaining idle. 
 
 To make the best profit of this precanous hour, 
 at every minute of which she might hear his foot- 
 'step, and be called off, she deternilned to read 
 those books in the library nearest at hand, some of 
 vrhich, being biography, voyages, and travels, pro- 
 mised her instruction and amusement. As she 
 could not suppose siie was doing wrong, she used 
 
 no 
 
262 THE COUNTES§ AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 no concealment ; and of course, as Lady Luxmoro 
 disliked being left alone, she s£^t down in the same 
 room with her. Interruptions certainly came very 
 close to each other ; but accustomed to be thwarted, 
 she heeded tliem little, and left off for every trifle 
 that could be contrived for her annoyance, resum- 
 ing her readinoj between the stai^e directions of 
 ^ Do fetch me a handkerchief;' ' Do shut the door;' 
 ' Do open the window ;' ' Do pick up my scissars/ 
 Feeling some hints that she could not talk while 
 she read, thoudi at no other time did the countess 
 seem to wish for her conversation, she tried the 
 pacifying effect of reading aloud; but her ladyship 
 being taken with a fit of bustling, to which suc- 
 ceeded a fit of coughing, she contented herself 
 ^ith making remarks on the subject of her read- 
 ing, and in lior own language descril:)ed the plea- 
 sure she derived from the Ijook in her hand. 
 
 She must not be blamed for not having foreseen 
 the effect of this policy. Siie did not know that 
 Lady Luxmore would report what she had saic|, 
 in such a manner that Mr. Sterling would feel 
 himself compelled to make a present to her of thq 
 book in question, without giving the reader the op- 
 tion of concr.iding it. From that instant, it was 
 consigned to a book case, of which the owner kep^ 
 the key, duly ticketed, and deposited in a drawer 
 ©f a bureau, of which she carried the key about 
 her ; and from this imprisonment, the author so 
 seized on, had no chance of escaping for a mo- 
 ment, till a yearly dusting mq,de havock with 
 the ve^^etative adhesions of the undisturbed damp. 
 
 Against 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRCDE. S&S 
 
 Against this subtlety, which had already de- 
 jwived her of two or three entertaining books, such 
 as Commodore Byron s Narrative, Lord Anson's 
 Voyage, and the Shipwreck of Pierre Viaude, there 
 was one remedy ; and this was to take such books 
 only, as could afford no temptation or excuse to 
 wish for others ; for though, as Lady Luxmore ne- 
 ver read, it seemed a matter of indifference 
 M'hetlier she longed for the writings of Plato, or 
 of Pope, yet there was a sort of probability which 
 it could nx)t be doubted she would * keep in view ;' 
 and the plan, to a certain degree, succeeded ; for 
 if ever she now came to the know led 2;e of what 
 frertrude was reading, she made no farther re- 
 mark, than that she wondered how she could 
 spend her time so, and, ended, with a request to 
 know whether some of her clothes did not ^vant 
 mending. 
 
 ]3ut all this fortification of prudence was insuf- 
 ficient : the poor reader was still in danger, and a 
 danger she had not been aware of, and of a nature 
 far more serious : by shunning books of light 
 amusement, she was betrayed into those on sub- 
 jects Avhich might have brought mischief witli 
 them. Had she had a little more sagacity, slie 
 must have begun by this time to suspect that she 
 was, when out of the sight and hearing of Mr. 
 Sterling and his niece, honored with their thoughts, 
 and perhaps the topic of their conversation, when 
 she was asleep ; bat ill humor wliich she did" not 
 merit, she did not always percei\ e ; and when i\Ir. 
 Sterling one morning enquired wiiat she was reau- 
 
264 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 ing, and she answered, * Dr. Watts's enquiry con- 
 cerning, ' What is Space r' she acquiesced' in his 
 taking the book out of her hands, satisfied that 
 he judged rightly in saying she could not under- 
 stand it. The next morning brought the same 
 enquiry with Itss Lenignity ; . and her answer then 
 being, 'Montaigne's Essays,' he took away the 
 volume, and advised her to mind Lady Luxmore, 
 and do more needle-work. She gave up the book 
 and the habit, and began to fear that somebody 
 did not like she should read. — Who this was, a 
 little reasoning by analogy informed her. 
 
 In her chearful moments, which, notwithstand- 
 ing that she was still a pageant of tawdry oeco- 
 iiomy in her dress, and perpetually under repre- 
 hension for some inadvertence or fancied misde- 
 meanor, were more than the children of the present 
 day would believe. Mr. Sterling had heard her 
 sing, and convinced that her ear was correct, he 
 told her, in one of his good-humored intervals, 
 ' that he had half a mind' to have her taught to 
 play. She was almost frantic with delight, but 
 beginning to grow cunning, she was silent on this 
 subject to Lady Luxmore. To her great surprise^ 
 her ladyship herself mentioned it with many enco- 
 miums on her uncle's generosity; but the surprise 
 lasted not long : she kindly advised ' Miss,' should 
 he again express the intention he had hijited, to 
 decline it, as he would, she knew, be ^ monstrous 
 angry,' should she not excel, and ' there could be 
 no chance of her excelling.' The hei^ was in strong 
 Italic : the niatter was spoken of at the breakfast- 
 table ; 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 965 
 
 table; and her ladyship obligingly answered for 
 ' Miss,' that ' she had no desire to leara music' 
 
 The society at Lady Luxmore's had now, as far 
 as regarded her, drawn into a very narrow com- 
 pass. Something of our power of attracting de- 
 pends perhaps on the place in winch we live, and 
 the style we support ; and certainly her present 
 abode was no more attractive than commodious : 
 had she not, in the early part of lier life, under- 
 gone the discipline oi a. smoke-dri/hig in one of the 
 closest streets of the city, her iiealth might have 
 suflered by her remove ; but as the house was her 
 own, and to let it she must have laid out money, 
 she always stood forth its champion. ^ It was so 
 near the parks that it ?nii.st be airy, and so near the 
 palace that it nmst be gay.' 
 
 For every change in her modes of life, she re- 
 ferred to her own choice, and stigmatised as the 
 votaries of nonsense, all who deviated irom her. 
 The world, or her climate of it, was not, indeed,- 
 new to her. She had go'ue through, as far as 
 refinement then furnished means, all that routine, 
 which, in its now increased eccentricity, converts 
 the mistress of a noble mansion into the hostess 
 of an assembly-house. She had not, indeed, 
 entered into contracts and partnerships with the 
 mercenary troops of Euphrosyne : she had not 
 ^squabfcled who should find refreshments, orhowma- 
 ;iy tickets she should ^ be allowed' lor ' her friends :' 
 she had not hired rout-chairs, rout glasses, rout- 
 cbina, jto accommodate the guests, for these plans, 
 
 not 
 
fl66 THE COUNTKSS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 not -of oeconomy, hut of finessing, and of living 
 above ourselves, had not then occurred to the ima- 
 crination. Yet, even then, thrift obtruded her si- 
 newy visage and skinny fingers into the haunts of 
 pleasure ; and to furnish cards, Scotch coal, and 
 sometimes lights, was part of the contract between 
 fine people and their footmen. The guests paid 
 the reckoning under the candlestick, and sub- 
 scribed to the wages of the domestics as they de- 
 parted. ' You will be careful, my dear lady Ho- 
 noria,' said Mrs. Thoroughbred to her noble and 
 wealthy niece, on introducing her, * to leave your 
 card-money and fee the footmen at Lady Cor- 
 morant's rout and su})per to-night.' * Certainly,' 
 replied the generous mountain-heiress, ' and half- 
 guineas under our plates, I suppose, for the supper.* 
 Is it impossible that we should be content to let 
 our means bound our plans of expence ? or is it 
 just that persons invited should pay the expence 
 of the entertainments made for them ? If it be 
 the nature of things, it is vain to contend against 
 'it : if it be Fit, we are culpable in our endeavor to 
 correct it or absurd to submit it to consideration ; 
 but the combination of liberality and parsimony, 
 of splendor and meanness, is, to our natural feel- 
 ings, most galling— We could give iuch instances !* 
 To return to the preterite gala-days of Lady 
 . Luxmore. She had, while inhabiting her elegant 
 mansion in the new buildings, boasted her ' three- 
 hundred' and her ' five-hundred' routs and parties : 
 she had announced balls, suppers, and the reccp^ 
 . tion of masks, and had given dejcunes at tiie hour 
 
 of 
 
THE COUNTESS AXD OERTRUDE. 26/ 
 
 jof dinner, and joined iier lord in dinners at an 
 liour long after that of the curfew : her floors had 
 not, perhaps, been so * tastefully' chalked as those 
 of the present day : her plateaux had not, perhaps, 
 exhibited as fine landscapes as the hand of an ar- 
 tist now ' throws :' her vases, her candelabray her 
 exotics, curtains, sofas, and carpets had been pro- 
 Jbably of elegance inferior to our's ; for it cannot 
 be denied, that the improvements in the decora- 
 tions of our houses have been, within the last 
 \ twenty years, great and gratifying ; but her man- 
 sion and its contents had been seen, admired, 
 enviedj and abused ; and when all this had sated, 
 .and became a tale ten times told, as her husband's 
 pecuniary arrangements with her had given her 
 j .power to act as she saw good in the matter of her 
 > own comforts, the advertisement of ' the well-as- 
 \ .sorted and superbly elegant furniture of a lady of 
 i fashioL,' with the consequent irregular ode to Ne- 
 cessity beginning * Lot 1. A feather-bed, bolster, 
 , ?ind two pillows,' had cleared off all this now need- 
 ' less splendor, while the ^ retired villa' at Rich- 
 ; .mond had passed, as it stood, into the hands of a 
 j ..dealer io temporary dwellings. To her new abode 
 she brought the more substantial mahogany-tables 
 and chairs of a distant relation, who, with tliat 
 j spirit which often guides the makers of wills, left 
 [ .the little she possessed to the countess of Luxmore, 
 iiierely because, of all those who were looking for 
 tier death, she wanted her property the least. 
 
 Thus situated, and having starved down one 
 .specie^ of piide, she bad no wish for society. Those 
 
 who 
 
tSS THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 who had known her only as Lady Luxmore, and 
 who judged her superficially, thought her greatly 
 altered ; but, persons better informed, called to 
 mind the fable of the metamorphosed cat, and, 
 remembering the habits, manners, and countenance 
 of Mr. Toms, could fancy they saw him revived 
 in his daughter. 
 
 But though the countess professed now * to keep 
 no company,' there were persons, who, for va- , 
 rious reasons, visited her ; and as she was sinking 
 into that remarkable propensity of unnatural ele- 
 vation, which leads to delight in associations with 
 inferiors who 7nai/ stare, and ?mist not presume, 
 her visitors were, but with a few exceptions, ap- 
 parently unprofitable beings : yet, still they con- '. 
 stituted a part of Gertrude's education, and were \ 
 unconsciously and unintentionally, members of ' 
 that academy of severe discipline which trained 
 her mind not only to virtue, but to happiness. 
 
 Had her ladyship's protegee, indeed, been idle, 
 conceited, or a disciple of the seyisibilities, some 
 inconveniences might have been hatched under the 
 auspices of the patroness, yet without her know- 
 ledge ; as one of the means of ' helping off' with 
 Sunday, was the admitting to the table a few young 
 men, some of them lads, whom the countess, not 
 exactly in imitation of the Duchess of 's pha- 
 lanx, but with a sort of maternal hospitality, con- 
 sidered as her peculiar property, purchased by 
 eiirly kindness. 
 
 If she had any affectation, it was that of popu- 
 larity amongst young men, and if she ever did a 
 
 favor, 
 
THE COU.NTESS AND aLJlTRUDE. Q,C)9 
 
 lavor, it appeared in the form of barley-su^ar or 
 cakes to junior schoolrboys, or sixty-fourths of 
 lottery- tickets to lads a little older. If some one 
 of this corps married, and the wife was, in all 
 ways, of a very humble description. Lady Lux- 
 more appeared to great advantage in giving advice ; 
 and Gertrude, if she had listened, might have 
 edified. None talk so much of ' you single ladies' 
 as those who are surprised at their own good luck 
 in getting a husband ; and none are so au fait in 
 the nursery, as those who have had but one chilj. 
 
 At the head of Lady Luxmore's masculine 
 friendships, stood Harry Carr, who grateful for 
 early indulgences, more than returned them by 
 attention and politeness ; and now, in the prime 
 of life, gratified her ladyship by an invariable 
 steadiness of respect. 
 
 Three days seldom passed without Harry's call- 
 ing: he was received without ceremony, and his 
 cbearfulness and gentlemanly manners generailj 
 left the elder personages of the family in better 
 humor than he had found them in. Often when 
 a snarling duet had commenced, he would drop in, 
 and produce a finale. He brought the news of the 
 bar and of the town : he heard much in the world 
 of letters, and of politics, and was always amusing. 
 His conduct to Gertrude had been judicious with- 
 out being unkind, and kind without being injudi- 
 cious — a medium which few people, observe with 
 young persons, and very few can hit where chil- 
 dren are not well treated: they throw their whole 
 %veight into the one scale or the other, and conse- 
 quently 
 
270 THE C0t5NTi:sS AND GERTTIUDE. 
 
 quently assist, either in oppressing or increasing' 
 the sensibility to oppression : he had been duly 
 informed of the no-relation in which Gertrude 
 stood to the noble family who were so very humane 
 as to save her from starving ; but his behavior did 
 not mortify her. She had occasionally, in her 
 earlier years, been made to answer a set of ques- 
 tions amounting to an acknowledgment she was 
 then too young to feel in all its humiliation, that 
 but for * good Lady Luxmore,' she must have been 
 
 * a little beggar ;' but this catechism happening to 
 interest one soft-hearted woman of rank, till she 
 hurt into tears on the little bosom of the depen- 
 dant, the ex[>eriment was found dangerous ; it was' 
 discontinued, and she was forbiden to call herself 
 
 * little beggar.' 
 
 In addition to the privileges of this early ac- 
 quaintance, ]\ir. Carr was constituted judge in all 
 matters of juvenile delinquency, not perhaps de- 
 tailed in the most indulgent v/ay : she had been 
 accustomed, from time immemorial, to stand at his 
 knee with her finger pointed to the spots on a 
 soiled garment, or v.ith a face betraying the bene-r 
 volences of the store-room, in expectation of the 
 boxed ears which she was promised he should 
 bestow. That he exhorted without laughing, was 
 to the credit of his gravity ; and that he made the 
 admonition of efficacy, was still more deserving of 
 praise. Arrived at the>age of girlhood, these re- 
 ferences were not very agreeable to her feelings ; 
 but she was sensible of the advantages of his con^ 
 "^ersation : he had been on the continent; he wa?s 
 
 of 
 
 1 
 
THE COU!s^TESS AND GERTUtDE. 27t 
 
 of an observing mind ; he described accurately^ 
 and his opinions, as well as his conduct, shewed 
 his preference of whatever was riglit. 
 
 But not suffered to take any share in the co^^' 
 versation of j\lr. Carr, or the other visitors who 
 relieved the increasing emmi of the countess's life^ 
 and called for the gi'atitude of her pi^otegee when 
 to please was more than ordinarily difficult, Ger- 
 trude proceeded, even in company, \nth her proofs 
 and ?xvi6-es, ardently occupied, but insensible to 
 the advantages she was deriving from this exer- 
 cise. She now copied Mr. Sterling's letters to 
 his correspondents of all ranks and distinctions^ 
 and to his tenants, who now and then needed the 
 most expHcit unincumbered brevity to make- them 
 comprehend that he m.ust have his rent*; to 
 artists employed in the embellishment of his pub- 
 lications, where the nice objections of an informed 
 eye were to be made perspicuous in words; to 
 men of letters with whom he communicated on 
 questions of learning; to persons of rank, whose 
 approbation, and often thanks, were the best re- 
 wards of his voluntary toils, and sometimes to those 
 ill the highest official situations, where access was 
 
 * We subjoin for the amusement of our readers an original 
 letter from a tenant. It did not, indeed, require an answer. 
 
 * Hon'd Madam 
 
 * Have in closed you a roasting Pigg fering 
 as our Cow will not hure any littel Ones when I Pays my rent 
 sincearly hoping all the Good Family well as thank god this 
 £uds me..' 
 
 needed 
 
572 THE COUXTKSS AND GEIITRUDE. 
 
 needed to. that which was not the property of 
 ^he pubUc, or transcripts were to be obtained from 
 the libraries of foreign potentates. Besides this 
 opportunity of tracing the best models, she, in 
 writina; from his oral dictation, heard him discuss 
 bis objections to his own modes of expressing his 
 ideas ; and hence she obtained more correctness of 
 style than could have been taught her by precept. 
 
 Sadlv, even now, did she regret the small extent 
 of her knowledge : that portion of a page which 
 was ill any language but her own, was to her a 
 dead letter, and most vehemently did she wish it- 
 ever might be in her power to acquire that which 
 at present was so totally out of her reach, that to 
 ttiink on it was only to produce despondency. 
 
 The necessity of making researches in tiie Bod- 
 leian library called Mr. Sterling to Oxford; 
 and as it was the heiglit of summer, he proposed 
 the generous measure of treating the countess and 
 her protegee with a share in the journey. Cer- 
 tainly had he stopt at the countess, there would 
 have been no hesitation ; but he went a little too 
 far to hope for unqualified 'assent; and as the pro- 
 posal was made — imprudent Mr. Sterling ! in the 
 hearing of Gertrude, time was taken to consider of 
 it, and she shewed her extreme and childish folly 
 in losing a night's refreshing sleep, deliberating on 
 the chances for and against the acquiescence. 
 The next day's newspaper decided the matter: 
 it stated a rumor that Lord Luxmore would shortly 
 'be in London. Mr. Sterlincr ao;ain shewed himself 
 ^ very deficient judge of human nature; for he 
 
 now 
 
THE COUNTESS ATTB GERTRUDE. 273 
 
 now supposed his niece had a good reason for not 
 goinn ; — on the contrary, the event just served to 
 decide her wavering mind ; and she, with some- 
 thing like an acknowledgment, declared her readi- 
 ness to accompany him, and even to make ' Miss' 
 of the party. 
 
 Miss's wardrobe, alas ! stood sadly in need of 
 another benevolence just at this time, so sadly, that 
 she was driven to the necessity of declaring what 
 needed no declaration to those who had eyes. 
 The notification was received as usual ; and 
 it was succeeded by ' a rummage,' as it was 
 termed, in the old walnut-tree chest, whence was 
 brought forth a remnant of that endless stock of 
 Patagonian finery, which had persecuted her al- 
 most as long as she could remember, and from 
 another dipot, an old white silk of the countess's, 
 thrown by, as too much soiled even for winter- 
 evenings in London, yet * much too good to be 
 given to her maid.' Directions were issued for 
 converting these into a travelling-dress and a gala- 
 dress for * Miss :' a hat, perfectly related to the 
 white silk, in propriety, durability, and condition, 
 [was found in the same repository ; and thus equipt, 
 |did Miss take her place on the back-seat of the 
 ;old coach, to the horses of which a pair of leaders 
 [were added. The party were to sleep at Stoken- 
 Ichurch, and reach Oxford in good time the next 
 [evening. 
 
 Gertrude's joys were as keen as her vexations ; 
 and at this moment, perhaps, her delight exceeded 
 tliat of most mortals ; she would indeed have re- 
 voL. 1. T joiced, 
 
274 THE (X)UNTEAS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 joiced, could she have changed dresses with any 
 one of the maid-servants, who at that hour in the 
 morning, were ' untwisting, with hard and adverse 
 wrists, the dreary radii of their mops :' but good 
 was sood in the eves of Gertrude, however modi- 
 tied and abated ; and to see Oxford, or any thing 
 beyond five miles from London, she would have 
 submitted— even to be finer ! 
 
 Stopping at Beaconsfield, it was a part of Mr. 
 vSterling's scheme to visit the garden of the poet 
 Waller. It was an undertaking too vast for the 
 countess ; but he was allowed to take Miss, while 
 his niece received a visit at the inn from the wife 
 of the apothecary of the place. This lady had 
 been the very humble companion of Miss Toms 
 before her elevation to the peerage, and was now 
 extremely useful in saving her qiiojidam patroness 
 from the njisery of iier own company, and in 
 introducing IMr. Linctus, who was sure he could 
 devise ^ a pretty remedy' for that ' nasty tiresome 
 cough.' 
 
 Gertrude set out with j\Ir. Sterling ; and never 
 was he more agreeable than in this classic tour, 
 in which he poured from the rich stores of his me- 
 mory, that information, which ' the association of 
 ideas' fixes for ever in the young mind — the infor- 
 mation connected with tije place they were visiting, 
 and the man w hose fajne liad made it famous. 
 
 But alas ! on returning to the inn, a sad disaster 
 threatened— O ! it is impossible to say what it did 
 not threaten. Poor IMiss was possessed of only 
 one pair of shoes fit to shew Iheir faces ; these 
 
 shoes 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 2/5 
 
 shoes were now on her feet; and though in very 
 decent condition when she set out, were, at this 
 monient, in consequence of making the circuit of 
 the poet's garden, the walks of which were 
 gravelled, a little injured. To have 'heard Lady 
 Luxmore's oration on the subject, any one would 
 have imagined either that there was no shoemaker 
 out of London, or that she l^ad not the means of 
 replacing these shoes. Li tears, Miss resumed 
 her seat in the coach ; and not even the novelty 
 surrounding her^ could counterbalance the re- 
 iterated reproaches of her patroness. Arrived at 
 Oxford, and hoping the disaster would be for- 
 gotten there, the servant was ordered to take 
 Miss's shoes in the morning to be mended, and 
 * Miss' herself was, in still more forcible accents, 
 condemned to remain in bed the first morning of het* 
 arrival, in hot weather, and in a place particularly 
 exciting curiosity, till her shoes should be in repair. 
 Her imprisonment lasted the whole of the fore^ 
 noon; and Lady Luxmore and herself spending 
 the evening ttte a tete in a front-parlor of the 
 Star Inn, the shoes of Gertrude, and the few 
 square caps to be seen in the streets of the lovely 
 city of Oxford, furnished matter of conversation. 
 
 If Gertrude had not been perfectly acquainted 
 with those who brought her, she might have felt 
 somewhat disappoitned, when she found Mr. Ster- 
 ling had very little time to bestow on her, and that 
 it was expected she should confine herselt with the 
 countess ; but she knew, though perhaps not spe- 
 cifically what would happen, what she had no 
 T 2 right 
 
Q76 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRtJDE. 
 
 right to suppose would happen ; and she therefore 
 very patiently transcribed all Mr. Sterling brought 
 her to do, performed all his niece's behests, and 
 thought herself most richly requited by his kind* 
 ness, in making it a part of his business, to shew 
 her, in the last two days, whatever strangers come 
 to see in the western university. Lady Luxmorc 
 found a distant cousin in one of the towers of St. 
 John's, and with him she conversed on the gene- 
 alogy of the house of Toms, its intermarriages with 
 the families of Flint, Tapps, and Skeggs, while 
 * Miss was,' as she termed it, ' taking her swing of 
 pleasure.' Yet the countess contributed somewhat 
 to Gertrude's enjoyments. When the first irritation 
 produced by the journey had subsided, she shewed 
 the medicinal effects of increased chearfulness on 
 her temper. She had no taste for college-sights ; 
 but she took Gertrude with her, when she went to 
 look at the outsides of buildings and the inside of 
 shops ; and th© airings were new. 
 
 After a fortnight's abode, the party set out on 
 their return, and taking the more inviting road 
 through Henley, and, on account of the heat, 
 making short journeys, Gertrude accompanied Mr. 
 Sterling in a call at Slough, which afforded her a 
 sight of that scientific machinery, whose vastness 
 seems constructed after the order of some of Mil- 
 ton's rebellious angels, and rather designed to at- 
 tack than to explore the heavens : it astonished 
 her, even thus seen. 
 
 An uninformed observer mi^ht have auj^ured 
 well for Gertrude's future indulgence, when INIr. 
 
 Sterling, 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 277 
 
 Sterling, who seemed to have derived courage and 
 independence from the honorable reception he 
 had found in the university, made her gratification 
 a motive for taking Windsor in his way home. He 
 asked no permission, therefore he found no ob- 
 stacle, and Gertrude was repaid for all the endur- 
 ances of her life. The Church of Stoke Pogeis, 
 Runnimede, Windsor forest, and Pope's episode 
 of Lodona, Cowper's hill, and Denham's flattering 
 portrait of our lovely river, were all objects and 
 their shadows in her mind ; and Gertrude was in* 
 vincibly happy. 
 
 CHAP. 
 
278 TPIE COUNTESS AND GEliTRUDE, 
 
 GMAPTmi XVir. 
 
 Diplomatic regards. ~ Odious comparisons. Ciii bono ? A 
 strange girl. A correspondence. A specious teacher. Honest 
 indignation. Prudence in pleasure. Defeated Caution. The^ 
 truant out-rcitied. How to serve one's best friend. An 
 ignorant girl. ■ 
 
 Lord Lux more still continued the representative 
 of his sovereign in a foreign court, and acquitted 
 himself of the little intrusted to his care, in a man- 
 ner that did not discredit his appointment. As 
 that little, however, consisted more in the observ- 
 ance of etiquette than in the dispatch of business, 
 and the elegance of his person and address had 
 been his recommendation to the high honor, it 
 was very possible for him to execute all the duties 
 of his station, without much enlargement of ideas 
 or acquisition of knowledge, beyond that wdiich 
 must be gained by visits of ceremony, and dinners 
 of state, diplomatic regards which do not sink, 
 just now, in value. His conduct to those of his own 
 nation, which was dictated by his natural good- 
 nature, and regulated by his sense of the dignity 
 of his office, obtained him public praise; and the 
 newspapers were liberal in recording it. Some 
 years before, his wife might have felt elevated by 
 lier share in it; but now, she seemed angry with 
 
 her 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 279 
 
 her husband for not being odious, and consoled 
 herself by hinting, that he could be commended by 
 none but his own report. 
 
 In those hours which Gertrude was doomed to 
 spend with the countess, unoccupied by Mr. Ster- 
 hng, she was accustomed to hear Lord Luxmore 
 and her own mother spoken of in terms of the most 
 degrading reproach. If any man was mentioned 
 as a bad husband, a bad father, and in all respects 
 just what he ought not to be, Lord Luxmore was 
 at hand for a compari^^on ; and 'just such a hus- 
 band as mine,' was the phrase with which his wife 
 stopt every description of particularly unfeeling 
 or flagitious conduct in a married man, while 
 every paragraph in the public papers, descriptive 
 of any species of fraud, brought forcibly to her 
 recollection the loss she had sustained by Mrs. 
 -Aubrey. It mattered not that Lord Luxmore 
 had been allowed but a very small chance for 
 being a good husband, and that Mrs. Aubrey's 
 Jblli/j not artifice J was the cause of the injury she 
 had done her benefactress : the morose are seldom 
 scrupulous, and any thing will serve for an accu- 
 sation with those who ought to accuse themselves. 
 Gertrude was therefore reared in a thorough and 
 increasing dislike of the earl, whom she very iui- 
 perfectly remembered; but with regard to her 
 mother, the suppression of natural feeling was so 
 painful to her, that, as if degraded by her parent's 
 supposed delinquency, and ashamed of having 
 cause to blush, she never, on any occasion, men? 
 tioned hew 
 
 Mr. 
 
280 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE, 
 
 Mr. Sydenham continued his guardianship of 
 Viscount Portargis ; and whenever he fetched him 
 from Eton, or returned him tiiither, he shewed 
 him to his mother, with whom, by being only civil, 
 he kept on civil terms. In the Christmas recesses, 
 Gertrude and he met frequently ; and the respect 
 Mr. Sterling and Mr. Sydenham entertained for 
 each other, improved the pleasure of these visits. 
 Mr. Sydenham's manners could offend no one ; and 
 Mr. Sterling was not disposed to take or to give 
 offence. On one point, which could have produced 
 no difference between them, they never touched : 
 this was the question, whether the cousin of the 
 one, or the niece of the other, had been the more 
 deficient in common-sense, when, for the promo- 
 tion of their comfort in this world, they so yoked 
 themselves. It certainly would have appeared, on 
 any investigation, that the countess, without giving 
 aw^ay her property, might have lived precisely in 
 the way she had, by uncontrolled choice, adopted ; 
 and that, as neither the earl's person, address, or 
 fitness for his present employment, depended on, 
 or were increased by, the aUiance with * the house 
 of Toms,' he might have been just in his present 
 public situation, and a single man, had he trusted 
 to his own endeavors ; but frugality and industry 
 are the two last resources that present themselves 
 to the imagination of the needy. 
 
 There was, in the mind of Portargis, a steady 
 principal that secured him equally from all trouble- 
 some affection towards his mother, and all vari- 
 ation in his love for Gertrude. As long as he 
 
 could 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 281 
 
 could fancy the former attempted to control him 
 in his partiality to the latter, there uas no danger 
 of his relaxing his feelings towards either. Having 
 no concealment in his composition, it required 
 not any great exertion of sagacity to discover that 
 Gertrude Aubrey was his inducement to tolerate 
 the necessity of dining at the countess's, yet in his 
 recollection of their infant hours, there was some- 
 thing too creditable to the goodness of this dispo- 
 sition to admit of correction, without departing 
 from that strictness of rectitude which his guardian 
 made the basis of his discipline. 
 
 These visits, from which Mr. Sydenham's son 
 was now again excused by the marked rudeness 
 of Lady Luxmore, were periods in Gertrude's ex- 
 istence that were rende^^ valuable by the kind- 
 ness she met in them, and by the assurance they 
 gave her that the companion of her earliest plea- 
 sures was still the same affectionate /creature; but 
 the discouragement all her frank expressions expe- 
 rienced, sot^n taught her the artilice of seeming 
 rather to look to the seeing good Mr, Sydenham^ 
 than her dear, i^ar Portargis. To Portargis, 
 however, as oppor.mity offered, she confided all 
 her joys, her cares, a\^ her wishes : he knew how 
 happy she was made v the hope of improvinnj 
 under Mr. Sterling — a ife^ing his lordship could 
 not well understand ; — hoV unhappy by his mo- 
 ther's moroseness, which 1^ could easily credit; 
 and how much she wished ' i learn all languages, 
 arts, and sciences' — a tast\ which he thought 
 very extraordinary and a littlegbsurd ; — he would 
 
 not 
 
2S2 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 not have wondered had she told him she wished 
 for horses, open carriages-, guns, or even a pair of 
 boots made at a fashionable artificer's.; but ' how 
 she could wish to plague herself ^^ ith books, was 
 most astonishing to him.' 
 
 But with all this young nonsense, such had been 
 his training, that Mr. Sydenham was beginning to 
 reap some little fruit from his truly fatherly care ; 
 and his vanity, whatever it was before, had received 
 some little addition frcm' the situation his Mcve 
 occupied in school and in favor at Eton, when 
 that scene-shifter, the postman, gave a new direc- 
 tion to his idc;\s, by the simple mechanism of the 
 follo^vins; letter from Lord Luxmore ; 
 
 * My Deae Sir, 
 
 * I FEEL, at the present moment, 
 the advantage of your being one of my family, as 
 a stranger might not, perhaps, so readily ijnder- 
 stand and embrace my views, as I am sure you 
 will. 
 
 ' I have had an opportunity of sf^hig, in his way 
 to England, and of being intrc^^uced to him in a 
 very distinguished manner, r^r great hero. Mar- 
 quis Bannerman; he is, I assure you, a military 
 genius of the first order • ^nd I know no man who 
 makes a finer figure ir/the field, or who knows 
 better what a regimen^ ought to be, whether on 
 parade or in action; we had an opportunity of 
 passing some days tf^ether : his deportment was 
 very flattering to r« personally ; and at parting, 
 he explicitly offerer nie his frkndship. As it will 
 
 be 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 283 
 
 be in my power to serve him here, by promoting his 
 views for the opera-engagements, wliich is a sub- 
 ject he interests himself much in, I shall make no 
 scruple of connecting myself closely with him ; 
 and if it ever gives me an opportunity of servinjy 
 your son, you may be assured I shall not let it 
 pass by. 
 
 ' He let me into all his plans, and amongst 
 others, one he has for educating his son, Lord 
 Dwindle, who is a delicate boy, just the age of 
 mine, and who, from the nature of his constitu- 
 tion, must be kept near the sea. The marquis, 
 therefore, has engaged a Frenchman, a man of 
 high birth and uncommon talents, to go to Eng- 
 land with him : he means to establish him with 
 Lord Dwindle in a very liberal style, on our south- 
 ern coast, and has engaged to meet every ex- 
 pence of the establishment, till he can add to his 
 number of pupils, which is not to exceed four: 
 he recommends me very earnestly to place Portar- 
 gis under his care, and divide the sum -total with 
 him till our abbe can find two more, which, I dare 
 fiay, he will do the instant he is known ; for he 
 has every requisite and recommendation of person, 
 manners, and education; and I think, as far as I 
 can enter into his plan, it seems much better suited 
 - to Portargis's disposition, than the routine of a 
 public sciiool. In all his letters, he complains so 
 grievously of that sad bore, the grammar, that I fear 
 his studies must be very irksome to him, poor fel- 
 low ! I have mentioned this circumstance to our 
 abb^, by way of sounding him at a distance, and 
 ^ he 
 
284 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDt. 
 
 he exactly meets my idea in his plan: he says he 
 never, in teaching, makes use of grammars or dic- 
 tionaries, or any of that lumber; his lessons are 
 given viva voce, and at no stated periods, lest, as 
 he says, sensibly enough, the striking of the clock 
 should sink the animal spirits, and blunt the energy 
 of the intellectual faculties. You ^vill see, such a 
 plan requires an amazing stretch of comprehension: 
 a teacher cannot be asleep who teaches viva voce ; 
 and as little can he value his leisure. I own I 
 like the idea; and as he proposes giving only one 
 day in the week to the classics, I think Portargis 
 would have more time to learn French thoroughly, 
 and all the other accomplishments of a gentleman. 
 
 * If you approve my sentiments on the subject, 
 you will oblige me by giving the proper notices at 
 Eton in the handsomest way; and should any dis- 
 appointment have occurred, pray draw on my 
 purse at your discretion. I would rather pay than 
 defer ; as the abbe will be in London soon after 
 this reaches you. 
 
 ' I still must request you to let my son's vaca- 
 tion-home be with you, as you can then watch his 
 progress, and correct any. little faults that may 
 arise, especially as the abb6 is un bon catholique* 
 The abbe shall wait on you as soon as possible 
 after his arrival : I shall tell him to enquire for 
 you at your usual lodgings in town. 
 
 ' I wait your reply, and am freely and sin- 
 cerely and very much, 
 
 ' Tour's, 
 
 * LUXMORE.' 
 
 P. S. 
 
TAE countess and GERTRUDE. £8i> 
 
 * P. S. Great negociations on the tapis, — You 
 shall have the earliest intelligence.' 
 
 Mr. Sydenham was not as calm when he read 
 the subscription as when he broke the seal of this 
 letter: he sat down to his writing-table, and wrote, 
 * My Lord;' but feeling himself under the influ- 
 ence of some degree of anger, he did not proceed: 
 he took two days to try to overcome his feelings. 
 What they would have dictated in the first moment, 
 tannot be known: perhaps nothing much worse 
 than their subsequent production. 
 
 ' My Lord, 
 
 ' You must forgive me if I am 
 abrupt. 
 
 * You are going, believe me, to place the most 
 valuable of your possessions, the only thing that 
 makes the turmoil of this world tolerable, the 
 loan for which you must be responsible, in the 
 hands of a quack ? — Because Marquis Bannerman's 
 dissolute habits have entailed on his son hereditary 
 disease, is i/oii?' son, a fine healthy vigorous boy, 
 to be lodged and dieted in an hospital? for nothing 
 else- will this establishment be, when completed ; 
 and whether the air or the regimen agree or dis- 
 agree with the sound, will be little considered where 
 the sick are the objects. 
 
 * To give my sentiments on this vivd voce plan, 
 would involve me in a discussion of the respective 
 advantages of opposite methods. Believe me, it 
 is all nonsense : we may correct and improve on 
 
 ' the 
 
•28S THE COUNTESS AND OERTRUt)E» 
 
 the plans of our forefathers; but they knew what 
 they were about when they made grammars and 
 dictionaries. 
 
 * What can this abbe teach your son that he 
 might not be better taught by his own countrymen, 
 except, indeed, his own language? What ideas 
 can he imbibe from him of his relations as an Eng- 
 lish peer, or of his religious engagements as a pro- 
 testant? 
 
 ' Were I writing on any other subject, my deaf 
 lord, I must apologise for the licence I have as- 
 sumed ; but your son, your only son, is the matter 
 in question; and I cannot too forcibly express my 
 entire disapprobation of the plan. When did a 
 Sydenham owe his education to a French abbe, 
 or his constitution to the barren exhalations of the 
 sea-sliore? Unless you mean to make him, indeed, 
 ' projecta vilior alga;' do not, I conjure you, give 
 him over to be thus educated : Your abbe may be 
 a worthy man, and trhs bon catJioUque, but such 
 merit suits not us ; and I repeat, that on the state- 
 ment of his method, he is a quack. 
 
 * I shall give no notices; I shall take no steps; 
 but I will keep the secret till I hear again from 
 your lordship. 
 
 ' However roughly I have expressed myself, I 
 am nevertheless, 
 
 ■ ' Your lordship's most obliged 
 
 * and very faithful 
 
 B. Sydenham. 
 
 The reply to this was, 
 
 My 
 
the countess and gertrude. g87 
 
 * My dear Stdenham, 
 
 ' I AM sorry you and' I should differ 
 on any point, and still more sorry that the delay of 
 your letter led me to suppose you acquiesced 
 in what I proposed. It is now too late to retract; 
 for the marquis and the abb6 are on their way to 
 England. I admit all the force of what you urge; 
 but still I hope you take up the matter too seri- 
 ously. IVIy respect, and affection, I may say, for 
 the abbe, increased every hour while he Avas here; 
 and if Marquis Bannerman trusts his son to his 
 care, why should I not trust mine? 
 
 ' On the whole, as I should be most unwilling to 
 do the least thing that you might mistake for un- 
 kindness, it is, perhaps, as well that yowr letter 
 was delayed; for the advantages of what I pro- 
 posed to you, are far greater than my statement of 
 them to you. The Marquis will, I doubt not, be, 
 jn a very short time, commander in chief: he has 
 a daughter, I understand, but three years older than 
 Portargis, and should the son not live to be of age, 
 she will be an immense match. All these things 
 I have taken into the account : I have not acted 
 precipitately, I assure you : I speak sub rosL 
 
 In this state of things, I must beg you to act 
 for me. After the next vacation, I would have 
 Portargis turned over to Abbe Bonfront: he will 
 by that time be settled in his house, and he will, 
 With every proper consideration, inform you of his 
 proceedings: I have explained to him fully the 
 Tespec": and deference due to you. 
 
 ♦ I write 
 
C§8 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 * I write by this messenger to my son, to sav6 
 you trouble, and am, very truly, 
 
 * Your's, 
 
 * Luxmore/ 
 
 Mr. Sydenham had only to obey. Referring to 
 the earl's letters for orders in a business to which 
 he could not make his own intellect stoop, he 
 acted precisely by its guidance, and had the severe 
 mortification of turning over Portargis, who was 
 now, every month, improving in disposition, and 
 erowin^ emulous in his studies, to the care of 
 a suspected stranger; for what he had seen of Abbe 
 Bonfront convinced him, that he was not of the 
 number of the respectable exiles from France, who 
 claim esteem with pity, but that his abilities were 
 founded in his necessities and his presumption, 
 and that his nexv method of instruction was dictated 
 by sound pelicy, as far as regarded himself. Ex- 
 treme respect, and abject flattery, could not veil 
 ignorance from a scholar; but for the sake of Por- 
 targis, the Gaul was treated civilly. 
 
 In the winter-vacation next ensuing, the vis- 
 count was met, with Mr. Sydenham, in one of the 
 parks, by Marchioness Bannerman, who knowing 
 him by having seen him at the abba's, and not 
 being able to arrange a dinner-party with him and 
 his shy friend, learnt their address, and the next 
 day, sent them tickets for a masquedye^e, inclosed 
 in a peculiar billet to ' her young friend.' On the 
 corner, under the direction to hi-g lordship, was 
 
 written 
 
THE CdUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 289^: 
 
 wr'Mcn Private; and though the very circumstance 
 might have justified Mr. Sydenham's oisregdrd of 
 it, the injunction was as sacred to hiin as if com- 
 ing from a legitimate authority i he gave the billet 
 himself to Povtargis, who un! iesicatintvly communi- 
 cated the contents, and gave him ills share of 
 them. 
 
 The matter allowed a fortnight for considera- 
 tion ; and Mr. Sydenhani never iu that time nam* 
 ing the business, his lordship could only suspect 
 the invitation not as gratilylug to the one party as 
 to the other. An accident ascertained this : For- 
 targis was told by a brother-disciple of the marine-, 
 academv, whom he met at the theatre, of the 
 ditiiculty he had had to procure an introduction to 
 the projector of this * famous grand thing; and 
 neither Macbeth, nor his lady, the witches nor the 
 banquet could, from this moment, reclaim his atten- 
 tion. Mr. Sydenham had, without sacrificing his 
 pleasure from the performance, been awake to all 
 that was passing ; and perceiving the hold whicli 
 the subject had taken on the viscount's mind, he, 
 that he might not sleep on it in its crude state, 
 made it the topic of conversation In their return : 
 he stated his objections, not merely to the spe- 
 cies of amusement, but as they respected his 
 charge ; he intimated his earnest wish that, at a 
 fit time, and under fit circumstances, he should 
 be acquainted with whatever constitutes the plea- 
 sures of the world in which he was to live; 
 * hpt,' said he, ^ beginning thus early with the 
 product of an exhausted taste, you will not only 
 
 VOL. I. u depriva 
 
290 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE/ 
 
 deprive yourself of the power of enjoying tl ose 
 which ought to precede it, but you will lind your- 
 self) if once seen at such an entertainment, involv- 
 ed in a vortex of dull dissipation, which will soon 
 weary you, and produce that habit of discontent 
 and apathy, which you yourself observe in those 
 vho describe past amusements. These are some 
 of my objections on your account ; on my own I 
 have more. I should not chuse to shew my head 
 at Marchioness Bannerman's ; and I must pass 
 your hours of pleasure very painfully, were you 
 to go without me; you will therefore, I am per- 
 suaded, oblige me by postponing this gratification. 
 I should prefer convincing you to controling you ; 
 but your father relies on me, and I must not act 
 against my judgment, even for the pleasure of in- 
 dulging you. \i you will tell me you can make 
 this sacrifice to oblige me, I shall sleep the better 
 for it, and you may be assured I will find a way to 
 requite it.' 
 
 ' O ! certainly,' replied the viscount, * if you 
 do not approve it, I shall not go ; though, I con- 
 fess, I do not see .' 
 
 * It is because you do not see,' said Mr. Syden- 
 ham, ' that I presume to see for you ; but you 
 have promised me, and I am obliged to you.' 
 
 Two days passed, and Lord Portargis seemed 
 to have forgotten the masquerade; and Mr. Sy- 
 denham having received an invitation for himself 
 and his ward to meet, that evening, at the house 
 of a man of taste and science, that highly gifted. 
 9 Mohawk 
 
THE COUXtESS ANl3 GERTRUDE. 2ffl 
 
 Mohawk chief, whose journal, it. is to be hoped, 
 will one day be given to the public, the viscount 
 himself proposed sending an excuse to I\Iarchione33 
 Bannerman. But the next day, meeting at a viesv of 
 pictures, the young man who had labored so hard for 
 an introduction, and who now exulted in posses- 
 sing two tickets, he was compelled to own that I\Ir. 
 Sydenham disapproved his going to the masque- 
 rade. Ridicule soon unhinged his mind ; and a 
 highly colored description of unreal festivity, an 
 assurance that the Mohawk chief would go thither 
 
 after ' the blue stocking' at Sir "s ; and the 
 
 interjections ' leading-strings !' — ' dry-nurse !' — 
 * musty parson !' with a self- congratulation on be- 
 ing, ' thank Heaven, out of the trammels'^ — finished 
 the conquest of a fool over rational docility. 
 
 Having parted from his new monitor, with evi- 
 dences of repentance on his countenance, Portargis 
 was called back to hear * a middle plan,' by w hich 
 he might avoid offending and yet iuduliie his wish: 
 the second ticket was at his service ; he miglit slip 
 
 out of ' the hall of wisdom,' at Sir 's ; his 
 
 friend's man should attend him any where to dress ; 
 and a note would pacify old Sidrophel and teach 
 him that a young man was not to be- treated like 
 a baby ;' ' it was but a jobation, and the marchio- 
 ness's masquerade was worth that.' The matter 
 was agreed ; and when Mr. Sydenham came with- 
 in hearing, nothing but the hour remained to be 
 setded: ^ ten on Thursday' was all he could hear, 
 but this was enough ; and by that time having 
 given up for the sake of his duty, the promised 
 
 u S pleasure 
 
2^'C TIIE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 pleasure of his evening, he and the viscount had 
 arrived, by a fine moon, and in a mild winter-even- 
 ing, not in square, but at the rectory- 
 house, at Luxmore. No other kifluence had been 
 used than that of a letter ready writt; n to the earl 
 and an option given to his son; f?nd Mr. Sydenham 
 would have passed the matter sub sUentio^ if that 
 would have answered the purpose of a moral to 
 the drama of the day; but a little animadversion 
 on the breach of a given promise was necessary ; 
 and the manner in which it was received and re- 
 turned, made ^Ir. Sydenham in his next letter to 
 the earl, request him, when writing to his son, to 
 give his sentiments on the subject. * I shall make 
 it a point of honor,' concluded Mr. Sydenham, 
 * iiot to inform myself of what your lordship's let- 
 ter may contain ; we can have but one interest. 
 When you suspect I have any distinct from 
 yours, I resign my charge and tlie rectory of 
 Luxmore' 
 
 It was Easter when the carl's reply arrived ; 
 and Portargis, calling with Mr. Sydenham on his 
 mother, shewed it to Gatty. Behold the part re- 
 specting this futile attempt at rebellion on one side, 
 and oppression on the other. 
 
 * I am sorry to learn from S.'s last letter, that 
 you and he have ditfered. As I shall always treat 
 you with the candor I expect myself, I must con- 
 fess it appears to me, as you will always find it 
 when two persons quarrel, that you were both 
 
 wrong: 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 2P3 
 
 wrong : he might as well have indulged you; for, I 
 sec by the English news-papers, that the marciiio- 
 ness's parties are in great request; and I am a little 
 of the Chestcrfieldian school, as to the use of re- 
 spectable women in polishing young men's manners, 
 which is a point I have no right to expect S. to 
 shine in : he never undertook it, therefore he is 
 not to be blamed if deficient in it ; but you cer- 
 tainly departed from that line of conduct I wish 
 you to pursue, in receding from your promise ;— 
 though not a solemn one, or perhaps, even on 
 his own statement, much more than a gentle- 
 manly acquiescence, it would have been as well to 
 have kept it. I hope the matter is now forgotten; 
 and as I shall hasten my return as much as possi- 
 ble, you will have opportunities enough to pay 
 yourself for your disappointment S. cannot ob- 
 ject to your going with me; and I am free to own, 
 it is a sort of amusement I am particularli/ attach- 
 ed to, and always was : I retnember, at your acre, 
 doing something so like what S. complains of, that 
 I thought I saw myself again in you. You have 
 no occasion to shew S. this ; he says he shall not 
 expect it; so you have nothing to fear. Soyez sage, 
 and be assured you will always have me for 
 * Your sincere friend, 
 
 * LUXMORE.* 
 
 From this period, the conduct of Portargis had 
 been a heavier charge on the anxiety of Mr. Syden- 
 ham, who could read in the deportment of the 
 viscount what he had scorned to read in the pa- 
 rental 
 
29«t thi:;C0.uxt;ess and gertrupe,, 
 
 rental coiingel of the earl. la all matters of ques- 
 tion .l^etweeii them, there was a hint of the proba- 
 bility of his -father's early return, and a reference 
 to that point of .time as the end of his subjugation. 
 Any Qppo^ition might have given shape and feature 
 tg iiis resenUnent ; but meeting only an acquies- 
 cei^oe \\hicU had its own meaning, he had nothing 
 tq^conijjiit, and. :Could only chafe eigainst general 
 control^ which he did without any exception in 
 j[a\:or of Abbe. Bonfront. 
 
 Qn .the part of .Lord Luxmore, no excuse could 
 bo iwade but that which was disgraceful to him. 
 —His candor, as he called it, was a paltry de- 
 sertion of him whom he had burthened with his 
 interests and his duties, and who had, in the most 
 conscientious manner, discharged his trust,; and 
 had Mr. Sydenham seen the reply to his temperate 
 representation, .and on it founded his claim to se- 
 cede from an irksome and ungrateful task when 
 there was no one at hand to supply his place. Lord 
 Luxmore could have re|)roached only himself 
 for it. 
 
 On hearing the story of this dcmelL Gertrude 
 had .expected Lord Luxmare's letter to have been 
 of a very different tendency; she was theriefore 
 surprised in acquainting herself with its contents; 
 but not .being able accurately to define her own 
 ideas, and supposing herself a most incompetent 
 judge of an affair where gentlemen were the par- 
 ties, she could only express her concern that any 
 question of tlie kind had occurred, and hint her 
 gorfo.vv that Portargis could h^v^e ,^juf '^red #py one 
 
 to 
 
THE COUNTESS AND 'GERTRUDE, 2^5 
 
 to interfere where his promise had been already 
 given. At first, the viscount looked a little at a 
 loss ; but soon recovering his courage, he confirmed 
 her in her opinion that it was impossible she could 
 be a judge in matters of this sort. 
 
 CHAP. 
 
195 THE COUNTESS AND GERTIIUL»E. 
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 Tunhridge chtofioiu Traits of txvo minds. Little ptdants. A 
 trait/fed woman. Avccdotcs of an Italian Good udiicc. 
 The art ofin^eniouslii tormenting carried into practice. 
 
 I>: the services which Mr. Sterling cl aimed from 
 Gertrude, it was not only the practical activity of 
 her head and hands, that received cultivation: his 
 contemplative powers, which seemed as if over- 
 flowing irom their own exuberance, formed her 
 sources of reflection and decision ; and his habits 
 guided her's. As it Avas fortunately one of them, 
 to attend divine worship, it became, though often 
 renounced, that of the family ; and tiie countess, 
 rather than be left alone, gave inio it *. 
 
 But perhaps nothing w^as further from INIr. Ster- 
 ling's intention than the education of Gertrude, 
 when he first attempted making her useful to him; 
 nor could it ever be perceived that he aimed at 
 more than increasing those powers of usefuhiess 
 for his own service ; he might truly iiave satisfied 
 
 ♦ Her ladyship was rather of the school of our friend, 
 IsIys. Mammon, wlio, when asked by a lady, staying with her 
 at Tui/uridge, if she would go to church one at'iernoon, an- 
 swered, *0! yes, certainly, my dear; as .<:ocd a way of 
 Bpe»ding the afternoon as atiy othi r ; but afterwards, I must 
 just go on the walks, a.nxl see who and who are together/ 
 
 his 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 29f 
 
 bis mind, had it been prone to anxiety on her ac- 
 count, by the conviction that he gave her, ^vith the 
 power to serve liim, that of serving herself : his 
 actions were naturally right when left to his own 
 regulation ; tbey resulted from the tone of his 
 nriiiH., and wanted not the seal of his jiidgment to 
 give them authority. Geitrude won on his at- 
 tention ; and he found it pleasant to communicate 
 that which was readily and grutefuliy imbibed. 
 Fortiinately, she ha I no one to check her by cen- 
 suring him or his opinions ; we may say no o)ie ; for 
 his niece certainly occupied no space in any body's 
 prepossessions. It remained unnoticed to her 
 and by her, that disdaining to adopt the common- 
 place sentiments of a woi id to which he gave not 
 implicit credit, he was seldom found or heard to 
 quote the minor moralists of his day; modern 
 ethics, affjcted metaphysics, essays, with texts 
 prefixed to them, and called sermons, diffuse pre- 
 c^^pt, persuasion addressed to the imagination, and 
 all modes of recisoning but the closest, he treated, 
 perhaps, with too indiscriminating a degree of neg- 
 lect. Extensive as was his knowledge, the diges- 
 tive power of his mind, which transmuted it into 
 oriuinal idea, was still more admirable. 
 
 Fed from such a source, Gertrude's mind could 
 not resemble tliat of girls in general: the most 
 tilHing occurrence furnished her with something 
 to comment on, or by wdiich she could correct 
 or corroborate her previous ideas. Nor was Lady 
 l.uxmore's mind negative in the formation of 
 heft :-^\ve are sadly deceived in our expectations 
 
 from 
 
^9^ THE COUNTESS AND GEUTRUDE. 
 
 from the world, when we enter it from a home 
 which has afforded no conflicts ; and though she 
 was often wrong, yet an acrid temper served, like 
 the action of fire, to separate cohering substances, 
 mid put them within the reach of analysis. She 
 had a keen-sighted sagacity, which too often flat- 
 tered her : ^he could detect a shrew under the 
 thickest disguise of refined politeness : she could 
 foretell vexation where nothing ^vas expected but 
 eiijovnient : she could ascertain what marriages 
 would bring repentance, which child of a family 
 wauld most plague its parents, how long an extra- 
 vagant couple would keep their chariot, and what 
 v;on\d be the first foolish thing that a young favo- 
 rite of fortune would do. As slie seldom augured 
 goc)d, and the world is fertile in evil, the chances 
 were in her favor ; and if ever she had been pos- 
 sessed of a sentiment of good will and undoubting 
 confidence, the traces of it had long since been 
 destroyed by the acid of a fermenting experience. 
 Conscious of her own need of every infonnation 
 that could fit her for the world, Gertrude, though 
 often vexed at evil forebodings, listened to the little 
 reasoning that sustained them ; and events occur- 
 red, with sufficient frequency, to keep her attention 
 awake. In one instance, without waiting Jo?' 
 effects, she could not but see the propriety of the 
 countess's mortifying satire, when the heiress of 
 hei' fatherV head- clerk in the banking-house, 
 brought her daughters on a visit of introduction, 
 and tiie eldest, a little delicate pink-eyed creature, 
 with peevish spirits, and a childish aiiud, begaa 
 
 to 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRU-PE. Qgg 
 
 to talk of her literature, her studies, .her common- 
 place book, and her papers; and her sister, a year 
 younger, disclaimed all competition with dear Au:- 
 gusta-Anne, and professed that ker education was 
 not finished, as she still had her geography and 
 Italian masters, a tutor in elocution, and a precep- 
 tor in composition. 
 
 Beside the countess's occasional morning visitors, 
 and a few whom she saw, and whose visits she re- 
 turned for thesaive of a little low whist in an evenincj, 
 she had another description of friends who cam.e at 
 times to pass, what is most emphatically called V.a 
 long day.' These she fetched in the outset of he.jr 
 airing, and carried iiome duly in the evening, it 
 jheingone of her ladyship's chief enjoyments t© ridfj 
 through the streets of London, when. the lamp^ 
 Mere lighted. They were, in general, persons of a 
 subordinate class, who, having neitiie-r cares nor 
 comforts, w\ere willing, for the sak^ of .ptarticipating 
 ?the latter, to bear the detail oi tlie fod'uner, con»e- 
 jquently they were not companions by wbonj Ger- 
 (tr^ude could profit. . .^ . , 
 
 , JBut there was one visitor of a, very .different de- 
 scription, whom we shall ba-v>e gre&t pleasure in 
 describing, and on whose character it may be very 
 liselul to comment. Mr. Sterling .had Mtipduced 
 Jier to his niece as the daughter of his very old 
 /ri^ncj, Mr. Britton* and though her ladysliip re- 
 ceived her with politeness, or what, she did not 
 mean to be quite the contrary of it, tte ho use,, had 
 he not been, in some measure, the iiaaster of it, 
 ^ would 
 
*00 TUE COUJS'TKSS AND GiKTRUDE. 
 
 T^ould not have allured Mrs. Anne. She soon 
 g-auged the countess's mind ; and though incihied to 
 tliink cliaritably, as well asjustly, it might perhaps 
 have been difiicult to keep up intercourse between 
 personf? having so few points of contact in their 
 characters, had not Mrs. Brilton immediately taken 
 an interest in Gertrude, and pitied the oppression 
 under which she saw her exist. She was a single 
 woman, not young, of plain person, and simple 
 manners ; and, in a situation as conducive to ori- 
 ginality and strength of mind as Gertrude's, had 
 acquired a superiority of intellect highly honorable 
 to herself, and benehciai to many. For the sake 
 of one, towards \a horn, perhaps, she was drawn by 
 recollection of former similarity, she bore with 
 mucii that was disagreeable in these visits, and 
 much there was, notwithstanding all the pains ^Ir. 
 Sterling took to keep her free from his niece's an- 
 noying gossip, while, with a kindness so well con- 
 ducted as to give no offence to tiie countess, slie 
 endeavored to add to Gertrude's knowledge, and 
 to excite her endeavors. When she saw her warm- 
 ed by ' honest emulation to industry/ she shortened 
 her path to the attainment of what she desired ; 
 and when she perceived that she desponded, she 
 encouraged her. 'llie rectitude of Mrs. Britton's 
 itjeas made her compassionate the protegee j with- 
 out degrading the protectress ; and in no oppor- 
 tunily of speaking to her alone, did she ever betray 
 the least perception that Lady Luxmore was not 
 all that could be wished : she knew that the time 
 might be far better employed in informing her, 
 
 thiiu ! 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDfii* 301 
 
 than in rendering her more keenly sensible to hei 
 situation, or in abating respect for one on wiiom, 
 whatever were her sentiments, Gertrude still must 
 remain wholly dependent. This judicious woman, 
 therefore, possessing herself more than the com- 
 mon advantages of her sex, sought to communicate 
 to her young favorite some portion of tliat forti- 
 tude which she had been compelled to gain ; i-he 
 taught her that the world abounded with evil which 
 fmtsl be endured, and that on the enduring it well, 
 depended the advantage we might derive from it, 
 as well as the estimation it would obtain lor us ; 
 that ail complaints, while the good Providence of 
 God grants us health, food, and raiment, especi- 
 ally when cheared by the hopefulness of youth, 
 were the evidences of a u)ind, nerveless and pueiilc : 
 — that in the best systems of education, we still 
 must teach ourselves, and that one half of the as- 
 sistance afforded young people, tended, like the ap- 
 lication of unguents to the skin, only to stop 
 up those channels by which the mind was to de- 
 rive its nutiitnents. When Gertrude came to her 
 with insuperable difficulties, and professed her to- 
 tal inability to discover the means by which she 
 was to proceed in any thing, jMrs. Britton an- 
 swered, * Find out, my dear young lady, — remem- 
 ber the first business a watchmaker's apprentice is 
 set to, is to make his toob — all operations of the 
 mind would be reduced to culinary receipts, if vve 
 had every thing laid down for us.' — ^ I have a 
 great love,' she would say, ^for reasoning by analogy, 
 and >(or deducing one argument or fiict from ano- 
 ther. 
 
3<52 fitE cotJXtE.'^s anO gTertrudE. 
 ther. I do not mean, nor will you understand me 
 as- meanins, that this should be done w ith that ri- 
 gorous adherence to the law, that excludes the 
 equity of common sense and discretion ; were we 
 tocaiTy analogy 10 excess, we siiould say that be- 
 cause prmn -and jail are synonymous, prisoner 
 nud jailor must be so, whereas the idiom of our 
 lanj^jai^e keeps tlieir meanings widely asunder ; but 
 there is a chain of knowledge, wiiich, if we can 
 once seize, the accretion of ideas becomes rapid. 
 
 Mrs. Britton had, in her early youth, lived very 
 much with persons of talent : the literati of the 
 metropolis, the first artists, and men of science, 
 had been her father's- friends ; and having lost her 
 mother at her birth, she had had less opportunity 
 of making female acquaintance than most young 
 women; but her sweetness of temper, and her un- 
 assuming manners, had led her into the families of 
 those who filled her father's table, and with whom 
 his evenings were spent; and she had found her 
 due appreciation in the world. A few years be- 
 fore this period, she had, \v\i\\ the most genuine 
 filial affection, attended her father in a tour on the 
 continent, which the state of his health obliged him 
 to undertake : in this point, her duty and her wishes 
 agreed ; and a residence of some length at Naples, 
 and still longer at Rome, gave her a decided su- 
 periority in society, a superiority which she never 
 mis-used. 
 
 Neverhaving known a mother's care, and her 
 father remaining a widower, she had been, to her 
 
 great 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 303 
 
 great regret, deprived of the advantages she mitTht 
 have gained from the admixture of female instruc- 
 tion, directed to the detail of life, with the grand 
 principles of action which the masculine mind" 
 perhaps best enforces. Exempt from all petty 
 prejudices, not apt to suppose that because two 
 persons in three have abused a sacred trust, the- re- 
 maining one must do so likewise, and not derivin^T^ 
 her opinions from those who have their own to 
 seek, she lamented, sincerely, her father's not hav- 
 ing taken a second wife; aiKi. on all occasions cen- 
 sured that sort of fond engagen^ent, by which ha 
 bound himself to pay tiiis fancied respect to her 
 memory. The consequences of this privation of 
 minor care, shewed themselves in little irregula- 
 rities of domestic habits, and a very pardonable 
 ignorance of female qualifications ; and the lesson 
 this holds out may be summed up best in her owa- 
 words. ' What would I not have given in our 
 journies, to have known how to work with a needle, 
 or how to make a pudding for my dear father !' 
 
 Her filial assiduities seemed stimulated by the 
 ^ense of her father^s misfortune in having lost his 
 wife ; and in travelling, as he chose to have no at- 
 tendant but herself, she was exposed to. much, that 
 a man more habituated to take care of femalesv 
 would have avoided for a daughter. Feeling that 
 she needed the protection his infirmities made him 
 rather seek than afford, and fearing she mi^;bt 
 prove a burthen to him instead of a comfort,! sll©^ 
 changed her dress, and passing' as a lad, made 
 ^ contracts 
 
504r THE COIJKTESS AXD GERTRUDE* 
 
 contracts with drivers, resorted to magistrates, and 
 stood betuecn him and imposition*. 
 
 On quitting England, she had been advised by a 
 Avcll known Italian, to do as he had done, and 
 * make the English pay the cxpences of travelling 
 by a volume of travels ; but she had few ideas in 
 common \\ ith this man ; and even the pleasure she 
 might communicate to her friends could not over- 
 come her reluctance to making herself observed f. 
 
 Knowing 
 
 * Of the (hmger, as well as disgust, attached fo this great 
 sacrifice, a fact will give a more correct idea than any rea- 
 soning. In Naples, having gone on her arrival to the post- 
 ofhce to seek for letters, she was returning* reading as she 
 walked one she had found there. To break the seal, she had 
 taken off ht r glove, and put a little switch she carried, under 
 her arm. A man following her, and seeing the hand that 
 now held a corner of the Utter while she read it, said aloud, 
 in Italian, which she understood perfectly, * 1 swear, that 
 is no wiaff'^hand/ Foreseeing what she must be exposed to, 
 in the public street, if this idea seized the minds of others, she 
 put her letter together, took her switch from under her arm, 
 nnd facing about in a menacing posture, she was allowed to 
 pursue her way unmolested. 
 
 f Adverse as we are to that narrow English feeling, Avhich. 
 makes every foreigner an object cf distrust, or of hatred, we 
 
 can but wonder at the reception B experienced in this 
 
 country. It appears to us, that few, who have come to seek a 
 living in it, have less deserved it. The rudeness of his beha^ 
 vior was intolerable; and though, in one or two instances, it 
 met with more than retaliation, it was too often submitted to., 
 with acquiescence in the privileges of a licensed perbonag(\ 
 He once, in a mixt company, of which Mrs. Britton was 
 one, bestowed all his attention on a girl under twelve years 
 old, and was so free in his manner of playing with her, that 
 the lady of the house, wishing to stop it, said, * Comr, Mr. 
 
 B 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 305 
 
 Knowing her father's fondness for whatever she 
 did, she dreaded lest her journal might be called 
 for, in the circle of his companions ; but as her 
 memory was uncommonly retentive, this was, to 
 those who lived much with her, an inconsiderable 
 loss. The recital of what she had seen and heard, 
 made her conversation as a^jreeable as it was in- 
 forming; and Gertrude treasured up in her mind 
 whatever she could gather from her. Beside this, 
 Mrs. Britton gave her an insight into branches of 
 knowledge which the one possessed and the other 
 wished to possess, in a way which put it in 
 
 B , do not let that child engross your attention : here 
 
 are others, her seniors, who claim a little of it/ — The lady 
 who spoke, being small in person, he replied, in the most cy- 
 nical manner, * Madam, you are a child in stature, and a 
 child in understanding.' 
 
 At the Prince of Orange coffecrhouse, one day, when the 
 frequency of street-assaults were spoken of, he said, ' Why 
 do they not serve such fellows as I served the man just by 
 here? — That's the only way to stop the evil/ We had this 
 fact from Gianmni the Italian master, who heard it ; and what 
 we are now going to relate, a reverend and magniticent 
 contributor to the British Museum, avt)uched to our father. 
 Some years after the dreadtul rencontre for which he was 
 tried, he was in a situation which made it necessary ^or him 
 to divide a poach with a young lady : he did it with a pocket- 
 knife, and when the peach wa^ eaten, he said to the lady, ' I 
 should, I fear, have sjioiled youi stomach for the peach, if you 
 had known that the knile I cut it with, was that with u hich I 
 stabbed the man in the Haymarket/ We will forgive any one 
 who refuses all credit to this ; we give an authority that we 
 dare not discredit. Mr. Sterling knew and associated with 
 
 B 's friends ; but he never would hold any intercourse 
 
 witn the man himself. 
 
 VOL. I. X her 
 
506 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 her power to proceed on the basis she had laid. 
 Finding that she had attained a considerable share 
 of grammatical eri.dition, and had nothing to learn 
 in syntactical accuracy, she advised her endeavor^ 
 ing to learn languages. Happy would Gertrude 
 have felt, might she but have said, ' I will.' 
 
 CHAP* 
 
THE COUNTKSS AND GE:R'rRirDE. 307 
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 Trials of 'patience. Im-pravemeht of time. Excessive tyranny^ 
 Relaxatiun. A great favor. A lesson to spoiled children. 
 A perverted "Woman, A sudden friendship. A Uctwre* 
 
 Perhaps in a mind so compelled to pen up all 
 its best sensations, as was Gertrude's, something ar- 
 dent and romantic might have sprung up. if no one 
 bnt Lord Portargis had been kind to her ; but Mh 
 Sterling, however worked on by his niece, would 
 sometimes rebel and be affectionate; and though 
 Gertrude was tolerably certain that it he parted 
 from her in a pleasant temper, when she wished 
 him good night, something, she knew not what, 
 would have soured him the next morning, yet, by 
 noon, her assiduities and her usefulness, generally 
 brought him round ; and when he had seen tiie 
 patience with which she rose almost constantly in 
 the course of dinner, if the cook disappointed his 
 palate by her ignorance or her negligence, it was 
 riot iti nature, at lea^t not in his hature, to continue 
 ill disposed. 
 
 But Gertrude had stiil enough to endure — as 
 Atich as usually falls to the lot of dependents. 
 She was now fourteen , and her situation did not 
 mend. Reside being made daily and hourly, to 
 fed wha:t it was to have nothing she Could call her 
 
 X ^ own, 
 
308 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 own, she perceived, in her patroness, the rise 
 and progress of jealousy. The sordidness of her 
 appearance also grew, every year, a more bitter 
 mortification, as Lady Luxmore, with either no 
 feehng, or a very peculiar one, now seemed to 
 take pleasure in contriving that her maids and her 
 pj^olegeCy should be. clad from the. same piece, and 
 jnever dispensed with her attending her sick or 
 well, in her morning's round, whether it consisted 
 merely of an airing, or of shopping and visiting ; 
 and she was^ therefore, compelled to exhibit her- 
 self before persons, not always well bred or good- 
 .nattired enough to postpone their remarks till she 
 was out of hearing. Had she heard all that was 
 spoken aside, he might perhaps have caught some 
 little consolation ; but her ear brought to her only 
 remarks the most cutting; and in the shops the 
 countess frequented, she could not but perceive 
 that one journey-woman went aside to call another, 
 to help stare at the odd ^figure and fashion of Lady 
 Luxmore's foundling girl. For this exertion of 
 tyranny, the reason must be sought in her lady- 
 ship's antipathy to solitude, which also sometimes 
 put her on ridiculous expedients. Perceiving that 
 in Gertrude's usefulness to Mr. Sterling, a reason 
 mi2;ht now and then be found for keeping her at 
 home, if the pleasure of her company were the 
 strong. St argument she had to urge, she contrived 
 to keep herself perfectly ignorant K^i the topography 
 ot London and its vicinity, and to turn all the ma- 
 nagement, tor staying out two hours and a half, 
 within which time she was not willing to return 
 
 home, 
 
■The countess and gertrude. 309 
 
 home, on Gertrude, reserviag to herself only a most 
 correct acquaintance with the turnpikes and their 
 demands. Wicked Gertrude, sometimes particu- 
 larly grudging this mode of improving time, would 
 propose and carry into execution, an airing under 
 ' statute measure,' but this fraud on the govern- 
 ment was duly reprobated ; and she was made to 
 write out a list of airings and their durations. .' 
 
 One circumstance, however, in these excursions, 
 when they would otherwise have been intolerably 
 tedious, or enlivened only by that sort of mono- 
 logue called, in vulgar language, ' a jobation,' 
 arose to alleviate their dulness. Lady Luxmore, 
 with no occupatioHj fancied herself a wonderful 
 (economist of time. She could not endure, as she 
 said, to see people crawHng on the earth like rep- 
 tiles, and such animals, or sitting down with their 
 hands before them, as if they had nothing to do. 
 Alluding to the vocal composition, ^ Comely swain 
 why sitt'st thou so ?' she quoted the rhyming line, 
 ' Folded arms are signs of woe ;#and it was a liappy 
 recollection in cases of necessity. 
 
 In conformity to this opinion, she herself, 
 moved occasionally with considerable bustle, if not 
 celerity ; and if any thing or person stood in her 
 way, so much the worse for it. To prevent seden- 
 tary idleness, she had always some work in hand, 
 which, at about four times the expence at which 
 she might have purchased it, she proceeded in, 
 till her uncle would sometimes ask if it was endless. 
 If the work was a new toy, every interruption was 
 a provocation, but if it had been gazed on till it 
 
 ' palled 
 
310 T.»Je COUNTESS ANt) GERTRUDE. 
 
 * palled upon the sense/ Mr. Sterling's employ- 
 ment of Gertrude^ and the impossibility of getting 
 any. thing done by her, seryed for the basis of vexa- 
 tion "*, Very, very often had she to methodize ex- 
 tracts, and tack sentences together, in one room, 
 while in the other, the counteiss waited to be told 
 how it waspoasible her work ' could be wrong.' 
 
 , One day, when the carriage was slowly dragging 
 tlij'Qugh a heavy piece of road, alie observed to 
 Gertrude, that it was pity so much of her time as 
 that spent in their airing should be wasted: * she 
 should like very well that §lie should bring her 
 \york or a book out with her. This, as even in 
 the happiest of their moments, there could be no 
 conversation between two persons, one of whom 
 cared not to listen, and the otlier dared not speak, 
 was a delightful permission ; and the result proved 
 so acceptable to her ladyship, that when, in the 
 fogs and dirt of November, she would, for air and 
 amusement, bid her coachman drive from Hyde- 
 park-corner to Whitechapel-church, the reading was 
 not suspended. The injury to lungs and nerves, 
 
 * For the benefit of those who. are subject, to quick feelings, 
 we give a fact which occurred under our own eye. A lady 
 working on canvas, and called from it against her will by her 
 husband, in a pet threw her work from her, too angry to 
 perceive she had thrown her needle under her hand. la 
 quitting her chair, the needle went into the ball of the 
 thumb : the haemorrhage was very alarming; the liand was 
 perished, and weakened for life, and she never after could 
 take anything cold in it, without a cramp, that made it matter 
 of great nicety to unclose her fingers, 
 
 wa& 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 311 
 
 was not of importance enough to be regarded ; and 
 when a good old plain-speaking apothecary, find- 
 ing that Gertrude was now reading six hours of 
 the day aloiid to Lady Luxmore, and writing dur- 
 ing the same space of time for Mr. Sterling, jo- 
 cularly offered a more expeditious, though not 
 more infallible way of sending her to her grave, 
 her ladyship, in a piteous tone of complaint, re- 
 marked how hard it was that she * who had paid 
 so dearly for the education of a girl, so cruelly 
 thrown on hen should reap no benefit frem the 
 enormous expence she had been at in her educa- 
 tion.' Gertrude, therefore, persevered in her 
 du.ies. 
 
 It was now becoming obvious matter of serious 
 regret, that a man of Mr. Sterling's admirable en- 
 dowments, and valuable acquirements, should be 
 living under the inci-easing influence of a head and 
 a heart so inferior to his own. It was of no avail 
 that he saw and sometimes hinted at his niece s 
 wearisome peevishness, or that he despised the 
 only wisdom she possessed, and which his admired 
 author. Lord Bacon, has described as ' left-handed.' 
 Lady Luxmore and he quarrelled incessantly: she 
 grew more teazing, he more impatient. Any neg- 
 ligence of the cook's, which made him wait a quar- 
 ter of an hour for his dinner, he would punish by 
 the irrelative revenge of a fortnight's silence. A 
 paper mislaid, or any imperfections in the perform- 
 ance of his commands, drew on Gertrude the hea- 
 viest reproaches; and the phrase, ' hewers of wood 
 an^ dra^v ers of water/ was rung in her ears, as 
 9 designating 
 
312 TUE COUNTESS AlCD GERTRUDE. 
 
 designating the only employments for which her in^ 
 tellects, or at least her use of them, would fit her *. 
 It was now impossible for her, even to ask pardon, 
 or make an apology, in language that might not be 
 censured. If the severity produced tears, she 
 was ridiculed, and ordered to the glass to behold 
 herself, with expressions of opprobrium too strong 
 for our page : if she submitted without tears, she 
 was hardened: if she dared reply, she was inso- 
 lent. When told sometimes, in a spring-morning, 
 that she was to attend her patroness, in an agree- 
 able excursion, ten miles out of 'town, before the 
 hour arrived at which they were to set off, some 
 dis'^race was contrived for her, and she was left at 
 home. In no point now did the uncle and niece 
 agree, but in crushing the dependent; and such 
 was apparently the exertion used to keep up tlie 
 
 * Let "US make one <^xccption, and shew by the temper, in. 
 its niitural state, what its perversion amounted to. Gertrude 
 had been ordered to transcribe two pages of folix) paper : the 
 writing was to be her very best ; no erasure, no mistake, no 
 imperfection could be admitted; for it was to be submitted 
 to the first eyes in the kingdom. Gertrude was not without 
 pride ; she did her utmost, and carried it to JMr. Sterling, with 
 perhaps too much sclf-complacancy: he approved it, and she 
 left him examining it. In a few minutes, * Gatty ! Gatty '.' 
 made her expect a confirmation of praise: she went to the 
 study; he shook his head, and was silent: she drew near him ; 
 he put his finger on a word in a line near the end ; it was 
 goverment instead of government ! ! She almost shrunk 
 from his reach ; she felt entitled to severity; but he was very 
 Kierciful. * I pity you with all my heart,' said he : * but it 
 must be done again, and as well done.* She again did all 
 in her power ; but the first was the best. 
 
 fever 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 313 
 
 fever of dislike in iiis mind, that at this period of 
 irritation, he could not make a visit to the house 
 of any great man, where there were statues or 
 pictures, without returning home more hostile than 
 before to poor Gertrude. On these occasions, 
 Lady Luxmore thought it prudent to play a silent 
 cliardcter: she joined in no railing — she brought 
 mo accusation; but she served admirably for an 
 auditor, without whom, probably, there would iiave 
 been no orator; and she could, and did answer 
 leading questions, such as, ^ Was it so in your 
 time?' — * Would you have dared,' -&c, : that served 
 k> make the culprit appear still more guilty. 
 
 Unless a specimen be given, it may be difficult to 
 co»:eiye how Gerti^ude Aubrey aad the V-enus de 
 Medici*5 could come into a comparison. Nothing 
 could be easier than to oppose them in this situation. 
 iMr. Sterling had only to tell iiis dear niece. — for 
 enemies are dtar to each other, whenever any new 
 disgust draw^ off their habitual inveteracy— that 
 ke had just seen a very beautiful picture or statue : 
 ghe then exprest some curiosity to know what it 
 w'as; and let it have been what it. might, whether 
 male or female, a bacchante or a Sijeiiiis, a Venus 
 or her son, it served equally \vell to bring in the 
 never-fliiling application, conveyed in the ^vords, 
 * I looked at it with delight, and could not tl.'rbear 
 thinking of your odious J\iiss.' To this Gerirude 
 never replied. 
 
 In one instance, her patience v*as put to a severer 
 trial. A printer employed for Mv. Sterling, and who 
 h^ been left a widower with many children, had 
 
 the 
 
314 THE COUNTESS AVD GERTRUDE. 
 
 the misfortune to see his eldest daughter taking to; 
 a very scandalous life, a life of the lowest iniamy. 
 Mr Sterling, under the predominating influence 
 of his nieces supper-conversations, which were, 
 if effects may be admitted as evidence, never very 
 friendly to Gertrude, made use of even this cir- 
 cumstance, unconnected as it was with her, to 
 teaze and mortity lier : in apparent sympathy with 
 the man's misfortune, he brought home the news, 
 closing it with this unpardonable departure from 
 probability : * It is, in my opinion, but an antepast 
 of what we shall see in our own house.' — Gertrude 
 heard, and Gertrude felt: — she heard herself un* 
 justly traduced, and she understood the implied 
 slander; but she felt that she had no redress, and 
 that Mr. Sterling had no foundation for his cruel 
 aspersion. She was indignant, and she was 
 silent. 
 
 Now, let it not be imagined, that Mr. Sterling 
 meant a syllable of what he said : he thought of 
 nothing, we will venture to answer for him, but a 
 cliimerical progeny of vices, the offspring of a fan- 
 cied want of attention to bis commands or his pre- 
 cepts, even if the ferment of ill humor originated 
 in his ow^n bosom ; but we are much more inclined 
 to suspect that he suffered himself to be teazed into 
 resentment of something that he could not feel, 
 and, obliging hi^ niece by the loan of his authority, 
 made use of a sledge-hammer to kill a fly :— read 
 Zf-asp, if you please, good reader! instead oi jlij ; 
 but ask, alter the correction, how many would have 
 
 been 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 315 
 
 been able to bear, even as did Gertrude — imperfect 
 uneducated Gertrude — such a series of irritation. 
 What the good Bourdaloue says of the monastic 
 life, applies to her, that though there may be no 
 moment that requires the exertion of great forti- 
 tude, the repetition of its grievances amounts to a 
 martyrdom. A martyrdom, such as Gertrude's, 
 required a delusive hope, such as she cherished, to 
 sustain it. 
 
 The effect of all this accumulated vexation was 
 bad. The comparisons between which she so con- 
 veniently stood, of the Venus de Medicis and the 
 printer's daughter, had been, on one side, brouglit 
 more home to her feelings by Mr. Sterling's admira- 
 tion of a foreign lady, who certainly was a model for 
 an artist : that her countenance had no pleasant 
 character, that she was subject to odd starts of 
 temper, and had really none but external beauty, 
 was, in the present case, no abatement : Gertrude 
 had seen her, and would have been happy to re- 
 .semble her; but worried and wearied with her 
 eulogium, may she be forgiven, if we own her feel- 
 ings of triumphant jo}^, when the lady made herself 
 conspicuous, indeedy by quitting her home and 
 her husband, on a trifling dispute ? If it is the 
 merit of our seniors, that their pains have made us 
 benevolent, what is it when their pains have had an 
 opposite tendency? 
 
 After this time, Gertrude certainly did not mend : 
 she was so insolent as to ask Mr. Sterling what he 
 thought of his favorite r^ow ; and in other instances, 
 tli^ young lady's tongue found its use : for on her 
 
 being 
 
SlG THE COUXTESS AXD GERTRUDE.- 
 
 being made to Vvcar such shoes as, at that tirn^, 
 ■\vero given only to those who had to dread the 
 want of another pair, and hearing the shoemaker 
 ordered to abridge them of a little neatness of ap- 
 pearance, she had lemonjstrated by saying, that 
 * she was sure no girl in the parish,' perhaps she 
 meant parish-^iri, wore such; and when Lady Lux- 
 more had said that she hated to hear her speak, she 
 had rephed with a meaning, ' I believe it, madam/ 
 She was now fast approaching to a state of in- 
 difference as to every thing connected with her pre- 
 sent situation ; and a sullen gloom was overspiead- 
 ing her temper : she saw it in vain to try to do 
 righ.t ; and she was nearly desperate in the attempt. 
 Trifles below even the dignity of our lowly history, 
 w ere uiade iujportant enough to try her patience. 
 In her attempts to make the best of her sad ap* 
 pearance, she was allowed to proceed to a certain 
 p(;int, and then ordered to restore what she had 
 practised on to its original form ; no matter that 
 it was almost impossible. There was great plea- 
 sure, in seeing her in a garment that would in no 
 ^vay fit her, and then calling on Mr. Sterling to 
 look at this hog in armor : a term, wiiich for many 
 years of its usage, she could not comprehend ; she 
 understood it, as pronounced, to be a word like 
 Hippopotamus, or Rhinoceros ; and had she been 
 set to write it, she would have spelt it very unin- 
 teliicfiblv ; but now the meaning, struck her : it 
 was another stone thrown at a creature sinking un- 
 der the waves of capricious oppression; and no 
 rcgolutions that she could form, and many were 
 
 formed 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. . 317 
 
 formed— could enable Lei' to get through the day 
 ivith the command of her temper. Still &He was 
 obedient, but evidently discontented ; and her dis- 
 content, which dared not speak out, affecting the 
 tone of her voice, gave a new subject of reproach. 
 Harassed and distressed, and beginning to feel 
 more keenly than ever, she performed her duties 
 without interest, and though not designing to omit 
 what was expected from her, she was made severely 
 to feel every lapse of memory. 
 
 A new mode of oppression soon suggested itself 
 to the countess, under the guise of seeming con- 
 cern in her improvement : this was the making 
 her write a formal letter to her, to beg for every 
 article of dress that dire necessity compelled 
 her to ask for ; and it was a condition, that no 
 letter should contain two requests, or fewer than 
 six lines, clear of ^ top and tail.' This was, it 
 must be confessed, slavish ; but it was of neces- 
 sity complied with, and the first attempt coming in 
 a happy moment, it was shewn to !Mr. Sterling, 
 who, pleased witti the style and the hand-writing, 
 sent to her by the countess her billet under-written : 
 
 * If you make your requests in such language 
 and such writing as this, you will make very few 
 that will not be gladly complied with, when ad- 
 dressed to your affectionate 
 
 ' T. S.' 
 
 Nor was this politeness merely verbal. Shortly 
 ^fter, when ]\Ir. Sterling was speaking on t:.e 
 
 increasing 
 
318 THE COUlvrtESS AND GERTKUDE. 
 
 increasing usefulness of a knowledge of the French 
 language, and the price he paid for translating 
 from it, she felt a wish tliat she could do it, and 
 said — encouraged indeed bv the absence of the 
 countess — -^ I do think, Sir, I could, with a gran> 
 mar and a dictionary, teach myself: other people 
 have done it — why should not I ?' — ' If you wish 
 it,' he replied, * I know a very sensible little man, 
 educated at St. Omer's, a friend of ]\Irs. Britton's, 
 ^vho would teach you well, and at no very great 
 expence. — I would give twenty pounds to instruct 
 you, which, I dare say, M'ould afford you a yeai* s 
 teaching; and if you are industrious, it will bie 
 sufficient : if you are not, it is your own loss.' 
 
 She had, even now, lost little of her childish 
 simplicity. Though engaged in occupations more 
 seriotis than are usually allotted to girls, her 
 character was as natural as at five years Old, 
 "w henever the countess was not at hand to spread 
 a gloom over it : consequently this pinncely offer, 
 as it appeared to her, was received, not with ^ deep 
 curtsies' — ' kisses bestowed on Mr. Sterling's hand' 
 ■ — * tears glistening' — ' voice fliltering' — and the 
 other detail of modern sensibilities ; — but in all the 
 ecstacy of a mind, by nature buoyant and kept in 
 health by industry, she thanked him ibr makhig 
 her ' the happiest ere iture in the world' — promised 
 to exert ail the application in her power, and re- 
 peated, 'Oil am so happy ! — O ! Sir \ you are 
 so very good ! O ! I am so delighted f 
 
 She was running up stairs, to enjoy without 
 molestation, let, or hindrance, the most delightful, 
 
 sensations 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 31^. 
 
 sensations she remembered experiencinsr, when it 
 occurred to her that it would be expected she 
 should tell Lady Luxmore of Mr. Sterling's aene- 
 rosity. It was a chilling recollection; but she 
 was accustomed to do what she was averse to : 
 she saw it must be done, and she did it; but, 
 perhaps, the effort would have been beyond her 
 powers, had she anticipated correctly the recep- 
 tion her simple communication, and the gratitude 
 which accompanied it, met. Not only displeasure 
 at the expence and the prophesied effects of this 
 extravagance, burst on her ; but she was accused 
 of having artfully and insiduouslii and presumpti- 
 oushj, as her ladyship expressed herself, tried to 
 aleniate Mr. Sterling's regard to herself. A mild 
 exculpation was all she could attempt ; but this 
 gained neither attention nor credit : she was then 
 silent. What she had obtained was well worth 
 the price she paid for it ; and Mr. Sterling having 
 once given his word, would not retract it : the 
 little man was engaged ; and Gertrude heard, with 
 the attention she would have given to the wind, 
 yet not without deep feeling, those unjust insinu- 
 ations, and cutting sarcasms, which were called 
 out, whenever the subject was mentioned ; and 
 more especially at those fretting periods, when she 
 was compelled to ask Lady Luxmore for the one 
 pound eleven shillings and six-pence, which de- 
 frayed the expence of twelve lessons. 
 
 Her zeal and application may be guessed at, as 
 well as the difficulty of exerting them, where 
 nothing was omitted that could interrupt her, and 
 
 nothing 
 
SCO THE COUNTESS. AXD GERTRUDE. 
 
 nothing aUowed that could forward her. Let the 
 young people of the present day, tliose who can- 
 not sit down to what they call theh' ' studies/ but 
 in a'ooms heated in winter up to 66'^, and in sum- 
 mer defended from the sun by shades of all de- 
 scriptions, who defer beginning to read * till papa 
 has finished the Gothic book- case,' or who cannot 
 be industrious * till mama will take away those 
 horrid family-pictures/ be convinced by facts, that 
 the want of accommodation dwells in their own 
 ininds. Our disci[)Ie, it is absolutely true, when 
 she was, with the utmost diligence and tl^e most 
 perfect exertfon, endeavoring to do what she sup- 
 posed right, was allowed no place to take hesr 
 lessons in, but her bed-room. * I would not sub- 
 mit to it,' said the youngest Miss Pert, wiien she 
 heard it. * But I will — and gladly,' said Gertrude, 
 — ' it will not affect my learning French.' 
 
 Her Gallic studies, or at least the assistance m 
 them, closed at the time assigned them ; and 
 though her instructor, when he took his leave, 
 wished to have done more for her, and considered 
 his labor as imperfect, he left her well furaislied to 
 attain whatever portion of literature in that lan- 
 guage might come within her reach. She had, it 
 is true, been fortunate in the year chosen for the 
 purpose: Mr. Sterling was, by a suspension of 
 his great work, out of the hands of the printer; 
 and a mild winter had permitted her to be indus- 
 trious, even without a fire : her teacher had per- 
 formed his part of the contract ably and honestly ; 
 and when in her adult years, she was distinguished 
 
 by 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE, $Ql 
 
 by the celebrated reader of French drama, as the 
 auditor, who, of all to whom he had read, ' Lest; 
 understood and most entered JntP tLe spirit of his 
 performance,' he at oqce proved his own acumen, 
 and bore testimony to the goodness of Providence, 
 in counterbalancing the peculiar hardships of her 
 lot, by an ^dded portion of intellectual activity. 
 
 The appropriation of this year to the learning 
 - something positive,' marked jt as a year of plea- 
 sure ; yet the pleasure was far from unalloyed, 
 J^ady Luxmore's reports to her uncle of Gertrude's 
 ' obstinacy,' * self-sufficiency,' and various other 
 such problen:)atical instances of ill-conduct, were 
 imperiously dictated by the irnpending danger of 
 her being decidedly ^nd specifically wiser than 
 herself. The manner in which these reports c^me 
 round again to her, did not exactly define the 
 accusation — She was, for instancp, called down 
 stairs ; she found Mr. Sterling and Lady Luxmore 
 together, she was told to stand at the door, and to 
 answer to the question, ' What was to become of 
 her?'— If she replied, as was her only reply, 
 ' Indeed J dp not know,' he seemed officially de- 
 legated to inform her on the subject, which, he was 
 BQ far wrought on by the very temper he most 
 jcontemned, as to ^do, in terms such as these , ' If 
 you do not know, I will then tell you : — you will 
 live to l?e hated and despised, to see every body 
 preferred before you, and yourself neglected ; and 
 then you will bitterly regret that you did not take 
 the advice of your best friends.' — Now, unques- 
 Jjonably, word$ weighty as these, and used by way of 
 
 y(fu I. y jrepvehensipn, 
 
.jCG the countess AKD GERTRUDE'. 
 
 reprehension, do imply some offence very heinous ^ 
 llicy might have been used by tlie master of Ho- 
 garth's idle apprentice, and, perhaps, with Uttle 
 effect ; but as the crimes to ^vhich they were ap- 
 jplied, certainly never did amount to any thing 
 beyond the irritated feelings, the casual negligence, 
 or tlie compelled haste, of a girl not quite fifteen, 
 It is humbly presumed this mode of reprimand 
 and correction, if it had any tendency to correct, 
 was more than adequate to the occasion. 
 
 The accidental circumstance of neighborhood, 
 about this time introduced to the countess a new 
 friend, and to Gertrude a new source of instruc- 
 tion. The human mind cannot exist without exici- 
 tation ; and if we have not the art of keeping up a 
 gentle cuiTcnt of motion in it, we are very apt to 
 seek what it heeds in a torrent. Lady Luxmore 
 liad a taste for new and violent 'friendships ; and 
 having watched, from her A\'indows, a lady who was 
 come to live in the opposite house, and who en- 
 couraged her curiosity by seetning to affect great 
 ^)riVac^', she, on seeing the knocker muffled, sent 
 to niake enquiries into the cause. Tliis produced 
 acknowledgments from the honorable i\i rs. Tutelle, 
 who so far overs tept the common bounds of -polite 
 gratitude, as to make a visit of thanks, which m 
 the hot-b^ed of 'sudden prefefcnce, in a very short 
 time prodiiced a violent attaclinient on tile part of 
 the countess. 
 
 Mrs. 'J^utelle was hot young :^he hhd had 'la large 
 share' of beauty, and was not deficient in intellect : 
 though how iharried, she had not aizcaj^'s been so ; 
 
 3 and 
 
THE COUNtfiSS AND. GEKTRUBE. • 325 
 
 and an early engagement in the cares of a family, 
 under circumstances that justly shut many doors 
 against her, had ruined her health, and produced 
 distress that claimed pity, even from those the least 
 inclined to shew her tavor : her husband was, like 
 most men who commit an act of defiance against 
 the common sense of the world, extremely shy ; 
 and her family now consisted only of two daugh- 
 te!-s ; the eldcsi: of whom, to her honor be it 
 spoken, she could scarcely endure in her sight; 
 while the youngest, shame so say ! she ruined by 
 indulgence. 
 
 No where, but in the Greek tragedy, can an 
 idea, explanatoi-y of Mrs. Tutelle's character in its 
 existing state, be sought : one set of recollections 
 roused — one set of passions armed, she was the 
 direful Medea: — her sorrows and her sufferings 
 called up to her review — her tenderness touched, 
 she was Hecuba. If she had, in the eye of her 
 new friend, any fault, it was perhaps, one which 
 she could not well define, but which she might 
 have named inconsistency — a fault of which few 
 can judge. JVe contend, that Mrs. Tutelle was a 
 character as nearly consistent as any one we ever 
 met with ; but till the source is discovered, a rivulet 
 is a miracle. 
 
 She was, at this time, living in the most perfect 
 decorum, and shewed how estimable, how worthy, 
 how happy she might have been, had she been 
 trained in habits of virtue, and, on the contrary, 
 how much, how very much, every woman forfeits, 
 of ev^y good quality she is endowed with, when 
 
 Y 2 she 
 
324 THK COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 she loses her claim to respect ; for even into this 
 mind, which, if its index, a lovely face and its own 
 ruins, might be trusted, was intended by Him who 
 formed it, for higher purposes, there had now 
 intruded such a- base alloy, that, except in the 
 trifles of the world, Gertrude, who did not know 
 her history, saw she was not to be relied on. She 
 had a decalogue for herself, and a scale of virtue 
 and vice, totally unconnected with that by which 
 persons of integrity judge their own conduct: she 
 saw no harm in ' the practice of the world :' the 
 acknowledgment of bad propensities was * honesty 
 and liberality' — a quiet decorum induced suspi- 
 cions of hypocrisy — illicit connections she seemed 
 to consider as the rouge of modern character, an 
 embellishment that left no question of its admissi- 
 bility; — but did any man, through conscience, 
 caprice, interest, or weariness of the monotony of 
 infamy, discard his mistress ; words were in- 
 adequate to give vent to her feelings *. 
 
 Had Mr. Sterling been allowed a choice, this 
 connexion would not have been tolerated ; but 
 if the countess was in the secret, she had too 
 jnuch prudence to exile her supple favorite by 
 fcetraying her ; and Mr. Sterling w^s pot inclined 
 
 ♦ Wliat would she have said, had she been at Tunbridge 
 
 Wells, when the divorced Lady said, in public, to 
 
 Ker new husband : * For God's sake, do not stay away long % 
 .!ivha;t am J to do with myself in a strange place ?'-^-and the 
 colonel replied^ m these wm-ds— ' Go to the devil, for what 
 I care !i'— We give .this as a lesson to ladies in the high 
 road for divorce — 'tis worth ten sermons — and strietly fact, — 
 Xlic parties had been mawjed the preceding day. 
 
 %9 
 
fo suppose, that one so very cliarming, could err 
 farther than in having assumed wrong ideas— 
 the consequence, he doubted not, of bad teach- 
 ers ; but, happily for Gertrude, he never suffered 
 any one of these liberal expressions to pass with- 
 out a subsequent comment ; and when he found 
 his niece too much bigotted to admit calmly 
 his rational doubts, he would cease in her pre- 
 sence ; but what he would have said was not 
 lost : the next excuse he could make for calling 
 Gertrude into his study, gave her his sentiments 
 and opinions. 
 
 * Let nothing,' he would say, * ever induce you 
 to do more than silently hear such morality as 
 that which this friend of my niece's professes-— 
 in your situation, I do not expect you to take an 
 active part-glisten and be silent > enter into no ar- 
 gument : if you could argue successfully, you gain, 
 nothing ; if you seem defeated, you lose all. — No 
 one, indeed, can be a victor by denying the truth ; 
 and that virtue is the only happiness of this world, 
 iand the guide to that of a better, is a truth en- 
 graven on the heart of man ; but those who would 
 judge between two disputants, on this or similar 
 topicsj would not ask zvhether, but how the matter 
 had been proved ; and if you failed in one point 
 ^of form, it would avail you nothing to be right ; — 
 you would be hooted down, and you might con- 
 found the fall of the cause you meant to substan- 
 tiate, with your own defeat, and fancy, because 
 you could not reason, that the subject would not 
 beaTyreasoning on. These are my motives for 
 
 recommending 
 
3^6 THE COUNTESS ANJ5 GERTRUDE. 
 
 recommepdini: to you silence ; but let notliing like 
 acquiescence accoaipany this quiescence : let no- 
 thing diminish your disgust at hearing paltry sub- 
 ^itutions for pure doctrines. Vice is vice, aad 
 virtue is virtue, even were all the sophists and 
 legislators of the world to new christen them : tlie 
 means of distin^uishinf; them we know where to 
 find ; and it is at our own peril that we ever mis- 
 take them. Notwithstanding all that this very 
 charming Moman lets fall of the ' censoriousness 
 of the world,' and the ^ illiberality of its tenets,* 
 believe me, the world is too lenient and too liberal, 
 On motives of selfishness, we listen, with corrupt 
 ears, to all those texts which exalt the efficacy of 
 charity, and admitting that St. Paul does not 
 mean to confine it to deeds of beneficence, we go 
 to an extreme in making it include acts of in- 
 justice, affecting to hope against hope, and to be- 
 lieve against all conviction, that we may entitle 
 ourselves to rank with those whose sins are covered 
 by this scanty mantle. Nay, we pay ourselves 
 for all this pious disposition to be taught, by 
 letting in at the door we have opened for virtue, 
 some gratifications of which she certainly never 
 heard : going to a culpable excess in that which is 
 in its own nature right, we add to the number of 
 our own pleasures, by annexing to them the plea- 
 sures of those with whom we ought never ta 
 associate ; and we then feel a sort of self-compla- 
 cency in having, as we think, acted candidly. I 
 do not commend that zeal which makes a man teU 
 a^nother, by way of news, in the market-place, that 
 
 he 
 
THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 3^7 
 
 he is a knave; but I would have every man know 
 a kni^ve when he meets one, and every woman 
 shun, as her most dangerous enemy, the woman 
 who defends, or even excuses, hcentiousness.' 
 
 Gertrude had too long been indebted to i\Ir. 
 Sterling for informing her mind, and she iiad 
 seen too many proofs of his discernment, to 
 question whether he was right nov/ : her heart ad- 
 mitted all that he said of the necessity of a strong 
 line of separation between virtue and vice ; and 
 though she felt grieved to louer ]\Jrs. Tutelle in 
 her esteem, she could not but own she gave too 
 much c^use for questioning her discrimination. 
 She felt glad of the caution given her ; but slie 
 hoped it was not necessary to forego the pleasure 
 she derived from jMrs. Tutelle's kindness. To her 
 simple question, whether she should alter her con- 
 duct towards this visitor, he replied in the negative : 
 ' I hold it,' said he, * a part of prudence, to keep 
 up a certain sort of civility with persons from 
 whom we cannot iree ourselves, and whose ap- 
 proaches we yet desire to repel. I always place 
 tliem,' added he, jocularly, * in the relative situ- 
 ation of bar-shot; — if they mast come near, I 
 wish for something to prevent their comini^ nearer; 
 aQd this you will finc^l best aiccomplished by a 
 jdistant civility. As soon as you give reason to 
 imagine that you ai'e acting by the dictate of any 
 thing less justifiable than steady principle, you 
 lose the advantage you ought to have retained, 
 and afford occasion to stigmatize you as capricious, 
 passionate, resentful, severe, or weak: this can 
 
 never 
 
SiCS THE COUNTESS ANB GERtRUlDE; 
 
 never occur, if you, beside taking care not to dd-^ 
 sbrve their reproaches, keep at a distance that for-^ 
 bids them to presume that they know your motives* 
 — Be right and be prudent as far as is in your 
 power, in all your actions ; — submit them to the 
 icorrection of no one, after your age makes you 
 your own mistress ; and if, unfortunately, you 
 scannot, consistently with what you think your 
 duty, avoid giving offence, bear whatever it may 
 bring on you, as you would the blowing of the 
 wind — let it blow ever so hard, let it never drive 
 you from the path of invariable integrity. When 
 you have taken care of this, 3'ou will find the 
 interest of your fellow- creatures cannot have beerl 
 injured.' 
 
 Fortified vvith these and similar precepts, Ger* 
 trude enjoyed the society of Mrs. Tutelle, without 
 danger to herself, and learnt from her those man- 
 ners which she had no otherwise the means of at- 
 taining. Mrs. Tutelle had lived very much in the 
 highest society, if not in the best': she judged well on 
 many points, and would haVe judged erroneously 
 on none, had not her faults made it her interest to 
 ^rr : though she was too prudent to give her entire 
 confidencie, expressions would escape her that as- 
 sisted in teaching Gertrude somewhat of what she 
 tnust expetrt to find in the world, and which 
 abated her impatience to be launched on its stormy 
 ocean : added to her beautiful person and elegant 
 manners, she had a correct taste in dress, knew 
 perfectly what a young woman ought to be, to ac- 
 iquire the character of fashion^ and, as far as l^e^ 
 
 gardd 
 
THfe (!:OUXt£S$AND iGERTfiuDE. ' o^^ 
 
 gards the world, had much to say that was worth 
 attention. Contrary to the practice of Mrs. Brit- 
 ton, she, at every opportunity, condoled with Ger* 
 trude on her hard fate, and severely censured 
 Lady Luxmore s unfeeling conduct : and had she 
 met any encourhgement, she would probably have 
 been industrious iii seeking for her the means of 
 emancipation ; but against this effort of friendship, 
 Gertrude was well guarded, by hinting at her 
 very small claim even to what she enjoyed : — 
 by professing herself content, she stopt ail danger- 
 ous overtures : and by promising to read Rousseau, 
 * if Mr. Sterling permitted it,' she reduced Mrs. 
 Tutelle to the awkward necessity of carrying back 
 the volumes, with the loaii of which she meant to 
 have obli2;ed her younj^ favorite. 
 
 Thus where one of Gertrude's friends failed her, 
 the other took her up. Mrs. Britton could do 
 nothing for her feminine character, but that which 
 applied to character in general ; and Mrs. Tutelle 
 could do Rothincr but for her feminine character. She 
 could teach her the best way of making the best 
 of what was bad, and the most of what was too 
 iittle; and sometimes she could, by a weil-apphed 
 jhint of the opinion formed of her ladyship's great 
 generosity, from her kindness to Miss Auorey, 
 procure for her some little relaxations of nii^ ^ard- 
 liness. Of thi-s friendly interposition she could 
 not doubt, though it was never obviously exerted: 
 it was one day proved to her, when on suddenly 
 entering the room where she had left Mr. Sterlings 
 ILady Luxmore, and Mrs. Tutelle, she heaia tiiC 
 
 latter 
 
530 TJfE qt^UNTESS ANB GEUTRUDE. 
 
 latter, rather vehemently, talcin;:; her part in g, con- 
 versation of which she had been the topic ; and 
 the increased kindness of Air. Sterling th^ next 
 day, shewed, that even where he did not 'wholly 
 trust the advocate, he yet could admit the con- 
 viction of truth. 
 
 CIIAP. 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE, 
 
 CliAPTER XX. 
 
 Pw person*^ poi<^on another jicrsorrs meat. Sinnrt repJics. Th^ 
 idtary cast; gator. Fruits (ff a wise plan. Guessing at the 
 iDorlUf An ingenious mode of arguing. Hard work. How 
 to escape eaiuii. Cold comfort. * Vis fieri liber ?' A squab- 
 ble for the globe, A young lady in a passion. The sempstress. 
 The globe obtained. Splendid prospects. The sempstress inor^ 
 tified. The present. 
 
 Even the deficiencies in the characters of Mrs. 
 Tutelle, and Mrs. Anne Ijritton, exhibited les- 
 sons for Gertrude. In the latter, she saw that the 
 strong pursuit of high attainment, a pursuit not 
 affected, but congenial with her ntaure, had, ia 
 some measure, made her overlook thin«;s not to be 
 neglected by a female. She had gathered the 
 choicest fruits of the distant plain, and the flowiers 
 pf the highest mountains, but had stept over the 
 bumble product of the valley ^^ liich nature had 
 assigned for her habitation. Mrs. Britton felt her 
 ^x an incumbrance: Gertrude, on the coatrary, 
 was sincei'ely thankful she was not of the other. 
 In considering what she would wish to .become, 
 •she saw, in being a girl, no obstacle to her attain- 
 ing such knowledge as she felt competent to g^in ; 
 |iay, she comforted herself that, bjb she certainly 
 ihad not powers equal to great acquirements, great 
 ^icquirements WDiild not be demanded of her. She 
 
 had, 
 
332 THE douNtE^s AND GEiitliui)i:. 
 
 had, indeed, no definite idea of her own charactex^ 
 in its present state, or of what it would be at a fu- 
 ture time. She had more distrust of than confi- 
 dence in herself; and she had no wish to act witl>^ 
 Out guidance. What she had experienced in any 
 successful endeavor to please Mr. Sterling, made 
 her fancy it would be very agrcea\)le to have some 
 one to please ; and not recollecting the passion of 
 the viscount as at all what she sought for, she 
 sometimes wished there were some one in the 
 world whom she might love and respect, and who 
 would love her She was not, indeed, quite sure 
 such a being did not exist ; but she dared not think 
 on the subject. 
 
 While she listened to Mrs. Britton's highly edi- 
 fying conversation, she availed herself of ]\Irs. 
 Tutelle's advice on thinjTs comparatively trifling, 
 but even here was food for the countess's satire : she 
 could not libel her with the common quotation of 
 
 * In utrumque paratus,' but she could hint, that 
 Miss meant ^ to have two strings to her bow;' and 
 
 * she supposed the men who could not understand 
 her learning, were to be caught by her notability/ 
 If Mrs. Tutelle commended her for the becomincr 
 fashion of any thing she had made, Lady Lux- 
 more never failed to remark on the no-merit of 
 such excellence, and the impossibility of a young 
 lady's being otherwise than %'ery smart ^ when her 
 whole time and attention were bestowed on her 
 dress.' It needed an habitual curb ort her tongue, 
 to avoid claiming pity for hei" external, even at the 
 best that she could do for it, rather thaix deprecate 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 533 
 
 i»g censui'e'foT tlie' indispensible care with which 
 she complimented the vvretched ingredients of her 
 sorry w-ard robe. But alas! nearly the half of 
 ^sop's fables were written to convince mankind, by 
 analogy, that power is odious when mis-used, and 
 yet the mis-use of power is, to this day, one of 
 the (extreme evils of life. 
 
 But at length, and indeed it was high time, IMr." 
 Sterling seemed almost weary of the ungrateful 
 task of pronouncing sentence on one, whom there 
 seemed always the inclination, as well as the means, 
 to find guilty : he did not own tliis feeling, nor did 
 he appear quite satisfied that it was just : though 
 bis unkindness was not constant, his kindness was 
 far from regular or steady; her cause was, how- 
 ever, now safe in his hands, if she dared strip the 
 truth of the halo diffused round it by prejudice; but 
 never once, in the course of all her exercises of 
 patience, did Gertrude say a word to Mr. Sterling 
 ;that could injure his niece in his regard. 
 
 She was now of an age and height, and had an 
 appearance, that repelled childish treatment. In- 
 tellectual pleasures increased their preponderating 
 powers ; and the irritability which had begun to 
 possess itself of her temper, diverting its direction, 
 fell o?2l^ on her bodily health. The tender mercies 
 ,of the countess had now a new field. When any 
 one enquired, with kindness, how ]\iiss Aubrey did, 
 whether in the invalid's presence or not, the an- 
 swer came from her patroness, and was conveyed 
 in the words, ' As well as genteel ladies ever think 
 It proper to be.' . , 
 
 Of 
 
3oAf THE COUNTESS AXD OERTRlTpl:. - 
 
 Of the pleasure of seeing ti\e viscoont, she 
 seemed now totally deprived. He remained at 
 Abb6 Bonfroiit's, and Ikid improved there, as might 
 he ex}x.^cted. Almost ashamed to own he had a 
 mother, he strove to drive hei^ troni his recollec- 
 tion while ahsent, and succeeded so well, that in 
 his vacations, when Mr. Sydenham brought him to 
 pay his duty to the countess, he could not resume 
 anv portion of conciliating manner. In his rage, 
 forgetting his love, he behaved so ill, that Mr. 
 Sydenham vvas compelled to affect to punish him 
 bv preventing his visits ; and some discoveries of 
 inclinations that needed the metropolis for their 
 field, made it prudent to prefer passing the vaca- 
 tions at Luxmore. 
 
 The earl seemed desirous to postpone his retunt 
 to England : he shifted his situation, and every re- 
 move fixed him again for a certain time. Ger- 
 trude, therefore, lived without any thing to hope 
 or to expect. 
 
 A sense of unascertained deficiency, and the fear 
 that she should feel it most severely when too late 
 to atone for it, gave her great and reasonable 
 uneasiness. In the life she led, she knew not what 
 any one of her own age or station was doing ; but 
 she supposed every one diligent and all successful. 
 She heard of works written for the use and im- 
 provement of young females ; and she concluded, 
 they must be manuals of virtue and wisdom ; but 
 she had no means of seeing them. The newspa- 
 pers contained advertisements of various places of 
 education, wh^re she fancied eveiy accomplish- 
 ment 
 
THE COUNTESS AXt) GEtlTRUDE. 335 
 
 ment was to be obtained with the utmost facility, 
 and in the highest perfection : her own circuitous 
 endeavors appeared so inferior to these means, 
 that she concluded the end must be equally remote 
 from success; and, in despair, was often tempted 
 to lay aside ever}^ endeavor: yet a desire of know- 
 ledge haunted her ; and subtractions were, for tliis 
 purpose, made from both ends of her sleep. From 
 every accidental visitor, introduced by any of the 
 countess's few connections, she endeavored, if al- 
 lowed to speak, to learn something which they had, 
 and she had not, opportunity of knowing-; butex- 
 cef>ting descriptions of theatres, and the arraage- 
 ments of a dinner, or a ball, she could learn little : 
 few of 'Lady Luxmore's acquaintance \vere educated, 
 or of a species that could pass decently through 
 ^society without education ; and perhaps if there 
 is any truth which has not an exception, it isthalt 
 gregarious animals prefer keeping to their kind. 
 
 Not much encouragemen4:, indeed, was given, in 
 the codritess's presence, to any conversation but 
 such as made herself the prominent figure: in 
 early life, her money ; in mature years, her rank ; 
 and now, in the wane of existence, her ill health, 
 her nesliiient husband, her ind liferent son, were 
 topics, which, with the episode of bad servants, 
 and attempts to Improve her own oeconomy by 
 learning that of Other ceconomists, made out a 
 morning-visit. But even here a nice medium was 
 to be observed: «he must not be contradicted 
 when she asserted, that she was always ill, that she 
 'hid the VkOrst husband and the most hopeless 
 
 child 
 
3oG THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 child that ever fell to the lot of human behigi 
 but yet no one but herself must assert it : if tho 
 other interlocutor of the dialogue proceeded a 
 thought too far, she was instantly ready to take 
 up the cause of all those things and persons, which 
 and whom she had described as in the last state of 
 evil : her health then, - to be sure, was not good ; 
 that was the misfortune of many ; but, still she 
 was not so old as to despair of it;' — and ^ it cer- 
 tainly was mending :' ' Lord Luxmore certainly was 
 not very kind, but there were many wqrse;' and 
 * when men of very high rank were placed in very 
 high situations^ it was not to be expected that they 
 could attend to domestic affairs ; the lower class 
 of peoi)le, indeed, had nothing else fo do :' — her 
 son waS; she believed, ' very much like other 
 young men of great rank and immense expec- 
 tations ;' — she did not think Portargis had ' a bad 
 heart :' he would ' sow his wild oats,' and she 
 doubted not * cut a figure in life.' 
 
 Conversation thus diverted, even if it could pre- 
 viously have answered any purposes, was now ren- 
 dered perfecdy uninteresting to Gertrude ; and 
 the reflection on it afterwards, shewed her the re- 
 source she enjoyed in her occupations for Mr. 
 Sterling. Nothing could form a greater contrast 
 than that which the front and back parlors of this 
 house exhibited ; her faculties were called from the 
 completcst remission to extreme tension, by only 
 the opening a door ; and she went from petty cares 
 and indefinite commands, or vapid inquiries of, 
 )Vho was in town, and out of town?-rwho wj^s 
 
 ip^rried, 
 
tHE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. S37 
 
 married, dead, confined, or likely to be confined, 
 to copy from an almost illegible rough draught, or 
 to extract or abstract from books on the d ryes t, or 
 the most informing subjects. If, in this scene of 
 action, the least question of her own powers 
 was started, she heard, and in no gentle accents, 
 the reply, * Come, come, it must be done ;' — with 
 probably, indeed, the softening and often repeated 
 addition, ' You think it hard now ; but a time will 
 come, when you will thank me for setting you to 
 such employment/ When she was in higher favor, 
 and the press of business was great, and attended 
 with much reaching and carrying heavy booki$, 
 she would, in a tone of burlesque complaint, cry 
 out, 'Oh! if we had but a little black boy! Sir :' 
 and Mr. Sterling, who, perhaps, lelt it rather a 
 necessity than a pleasure, thus * to fag' a growing 
 girl, as if sensible that she might very innocently 
 murmur, and yet averse to the sound of complaint, 
 would occasionally anticipate her exclamation, by 
 ' opening his commission,' with, * Now, do not let 
 us have any wishing for black boys.' 
 
 But it was not often now, that Gertrude could 
 laugh away her cares and troubles. Her chear- 
 fulness was not perpetual : it rather came in the 
 shape of internal support, than external embellish- 
 ment ; and seriousness, by her principals denomi- 
 nated ' gloom, sullenness, and pouting,' was becom- 
 ing a strong feature in her character, to the percep- 
 tion of those who chose to see tio more than their 
 eye could reach. Many pleasures, such as are 
 deeufed valuable in youth, she missed; and to be 
 
 VOL. I. z iusensiWe 
 
33^ THE COUNTESS AND GE:RTaUDK. 
 
 insensible of this, was impossible ; but she was 
 verv willing to believe she escaped more miseries. 
 Siie listened with more eagerness to Mrs. Anne 
 Britton, when she bade her take it for a subject 
 of thankfulness that she was safe from the evil of 
 the world, than to Mrs. Tu telle, when she assured 
 her she would be less unhappy in a convent. And 
 could she have known a little more of what was 
 passing in other families, she would have been 
 av^are of still farther advantages. She had lite- 
 rally been obliged to ask what was lYjeant by ennui 
 in the sense in which she heard it used, and as 
 applied to life in general, or daily existence. Th« 
 e^Xpressions * monotony of ideas;' ' sameness of 
 day&;' * want of stimulus;' * tcedinni vit(jt ; * be- 
 ing <j[uitc let down;' — ^ fit for nothing'—* in 
 want of aft object' — * abhatu ; and a hundred 
 such, conveyed no sense to Gertrude. Small as 
 were the intervals of time she could call her own, 
 she was obliged to be an teconomist, even of mo* 
 rnents ; and adopting Mr. tSterling's definition of 
 dispatch, she made it consist * not in a bustle, but 
 in doing nothing in vain.* 
 
 No votary of the toilette, no girl who Sets her 
 heart on the success of her efforts in decoration, 
 fiOne whose highest aim is to mortify their own sex 
 or entrap the other, can conceive the real happi- 
 frCss of Gertrude, when, after a severe winter, 
 which want of fire obliged her to spend with the 
 countess in the dining-parlor, returning spring 
 allowed her to rise in a morning ; and when she 
 sat do^vn to an old worm eaten bureau, the few 
 dj-awers of which contained all her wardrobe, and 
 
 ia 
 
THE COUNTESS ANB GERTllUDfe. 539 
 
 in a thick volume of blank paper, which Mr. Ster- 
 ling had given her, because the damp had disturb- 
 ed the size in the paper, and consequently it 
 would not well bear ink, formed a common-place 
 book, which he had instructed her to keep on Mr* 
 Locke's plan. In this, she entered extracts from 
 books she could not hope ever to possess, and 
 whatever she could pick up, that appeared to her 
 worth retaining. All was done, against the timo 
 when she should have nothing to depend on but 
 her own exertions. 
 
 A short review of the alterations to which the 
 change of seasons rendered Gertrude's comforts 
 obnoxious, may be of use to those young people 
 who, without * bringing in a stone,' as is usual in 
 the counties overloaded with that commodity, ex» 
 pect all ranks to open in obedience to the command, 
 * Let me come to the fire.' At one time, for the 
 accommodation of the servants employed in needle- 
 work, a fire was made in her room, for a few hours 
 in a day ; and sometimes there was a spark, capa* 
 ble of improvement, when she went to bed, which 
 enabled her to use an inch of candle she had beg- 
 ged : but of late years, new arrangements, after the 
 removal, had dispensed with this indulgence ; and 
 her chamber, never since her occupying it, had 
 been warmed by any thing but the glimpse of a 
 rjorthern sun, and her own inhabiting it. In the 
 register of the thermometer, which she kept for 
 Mr. Sterling's amusement, she recorded her own 
 sorrotvs; and the progressive diminution of the 
 
 z S number 
 
340 THE COUNTESS AND GEUTRUnE. 
 
 number she had to set down, would have been 
 uniformly dejecting, had not her own observation 
 taught her, that it was possible to feel the cold se- 
 vere at 60°, and the heat oppressive at 51°, from 
 whence she inferred, what she might have learned 
 from any thing else, that rules are liable to ex- 
 ceptions. 
 
 To rise in a morning early, ^^as a matter of the 
 highest importance to her comfort, as at no other 
 time was she exempt from the fear of interruption. 
 At this time, by a kind loan from J\Irs. Britton, 
 she was enabled to learn by heart, the Italian 
 grammar, and was endeavoring to form her organs 
 to the pronouncing ciascheduno^ concidsiacosache, 
 and the whole assemblage of difficult enunciations 
 to be found in it. Mr. Sterling had picked up on 
 a stall for her, tliat liberal sixpenny-worth of 
 learning, contained in Harris's ' Astronomical Di- 
 alogues : he had tossed out from his library a 
 close-cut copy of Iloole's edition of Comenius's 
 * Orbis Sensualium Pictus.' Portargis had given her 
 an engraved drawing-book ; she had a French 
 common prayer-book, as a part of her didactic li- 
 brary in attaining the language, and, beside a gram-; 
 mar, dictionary, and book of exercises, obtained in 
 the same way, she had Godeau's psalms, which 
 j\Irs. Britton had given her, and a beautiful New 
 Testament, in French, printed at Leyden, to which 
 was, unfortunately for her peace of mind, append- 
 ed the Psalms of Beza and Marot in metre, with 
 musical notes. Everv one of these few books, 
 formed a radix in her mind ; and in a, method of 
 
 her 
 
THE C0UNTES3A.ND GERTRUDE, 3^1 
 
 her own, which, perhaps, no one would thank us 
 for explaining, they allowed of a sort of athletic 
 exercise of her powers ; but the last-mentioned 
 opened a prospect of the science of music only to 
 afflict her : she had obtained by questions, cau- 
 tiously ventured on, to Mr. Sterling, an explanation 
 of some unconnected circumstances that struck her 
 in a page of music ; and she had once ventured to 
 say, that had she no opportunity of learning till she 
 was fifty years of age, she would then attempt it ; 
 but Mr. Sterling did not encourage her, and reply- 
 ing to her teazing questions, with ^ stand out of my 
 way ;' * don't torment me ;' * mind your own busi- 
 ness,' poor Beza, in addition to the discouragements 
 he met, in person from Henry IV, was forced 
 to submit to obscurity, and for the same reason, 
 because his reader could not understand the union 
 of sound and sense. 
 
 It is, perhaps, good — but who can do it strictly? 
 to inure our feliov;-creatures to inconveniences: 
 and. had Gertrude been less susceptible of cold in 
 future, she might have thanked the oeconomy of 
 her patroness : but she gained nothing in hardiness: 
 the cold was misery to her; she added all in her 
 power to her clothing: she contrived every possible 
 method of bearing it, but in vain : she was still 
 growing rapidly; and one njorning, about this time^ 
 having risen long before day, a faint giddiness came 
 on, which obliged her to throw herself on her bed 
 and to try whether she could not employ herself 
 before she rose. This she accomplished ; and it 
 sufcceedcd to her wish. 
 
 One 
 
543 THE COUNTESS ilND GERTRtTDl!!. 
 
 One of the circumstances least agreeable in her 
 dependence, was the being sent into the kitchen 
 amongst the cGmaion servants, to eat her supper, 
 a practice not yet corrected : it answered Lady 
 Luxmore's purpose, in keeping visitors away from 
 her domestics; for, poor woman ! she knew no 
 * management,' but that of an overseer ; but irk- 
 some, as this was, and must be, she saw herself 
 not in any way obliged to depart from her own 
 situation : she ate her morsel standing, and aloof; 
 she was civil and thankful, and no one instance of 
 insolence, or want of respect, occurred to her, at 
 tiiese moments of mortification. 
 
 Thus oppressed, it was not, perhaps, without ^ 
 meaning, tliat Mr. Sterling made her read to him, 
 on Sunday evenings, * The Works of the Author 
 of the Whole Duty of Man,' and learn, and repeat 
 to him frequently, Cowley's translation pf the * Vi§ 
 fieri liber r' of Martial : 
 
 * Would you be free ? 'tis your chief \yish, you say : 
 
 Come on : J'll shew thee then the certain way. 
 
 If to no feasts abroad thou lov'st to go, 
 
 \\ hile bounteous Heaven docs bread at home bestow j 
 
 If thou, without a sigh, or golden wish, 
 
 Can'st look upon thy beechen bowl or dish : 
 
 If ihou the goodness of thy clothe* dost prize 
 
 By thine own use, and not by others' eyes : 
 
 }i', only safe from weathers, thou can'st dwell 
 
 In a small house, but a convenient shell : 
 
 If in thy mind such pow'r and greatness be, 
 
 The Persian king's a slave, conaparcd »o ihee.* 
 
 Sentiments such as these, Thomson's paraphra^^ 
 
 of 
 
THE COUNTESS AND CEftTRUDE. 343 
 
 ©f part of the Sermon on the Mount ; the lines 
 called ^ the Golden Verses of Pythagoras ;' Gray's 
 * Elegy in a Church-yai"d,' and, above all, the 
 Scriptures themselves, taught her not to seek the 
 praise of men, not to distrust the protection of 
 Providence, not to omit any duties, not to ' mea- 
 sure her height by an evening sun,' and not to 
 place any thing in competition with what is in itself 
 right. 
 
 Of a principal ingredient in the happiness, and, 
 as often, in the misery of young persons, she \\ as 
 utterly ignorant : * Indulgence' was a word which 
 she always wished to hear analysed : in her own 
 instance, she could not know what it iricant : her 
 wishes, had, with few exceptions, budded without 
 expansion, and decayed without forming fruit; and 
 discouraged by repiilsion ivhen she otfered a rC" 
 quest, if she did not cease to covet, she forbore 
 to crave. 
 
 She had not, indeed, araied herself sufficiently 
 against temptations ; siic, perhaps, suspected not 
 that any, more dangerous than tliose she had 
 passed, were to be apprehended. But ^:)ing, oae 
 aiorning, with the comitess, to an optician's, a globe 
 in a shagreen case, ail togetiier Dot larger than an 
 f)i'aiage, struck the chord of her covetousiness ; 
 and tliough her weekly allowance was now six- 
 pence, she was too ixn patient to wait tlie eveat of 
 perfect parsimony, and fifteen weeks' patience, and 
 rashly begged Lady Luxmore to indulge her with 
 it. It was refused : on coming home, she Imd as- 
 sailed Mr. Sterling : he cofisdted his jriece, and 
 
 she 
 
344 THE COUNTESS AN© GERTRUDE. 
 
 jhe vvas peevishly oalered to * mind Lady Lux-^ 
 more, and do more needle- work.' 
 
 Forgive, we beseech you, gentle reader, the con- 
 dujct of Gertrude, under this refusal : she ought to 
 have behaved better : she behaved extremely ill. 
 Retiring from Mr. Sterling's presence, she burst 
 into tears, and lighting on the house-maid, who 
 was accidentally of a respectable description, she 
 answered her question, ' What is the matter. Miss ?* 
 by saying ^loud, and almost with insolent hope 
 that she should be over- heard, ' Did you ever 
 know any thing so cruel ? — O ! this is cruel, in- 
 deed r Exasperated as she was, her passion rose 
 every moment : her teeth chattered, her joints 
 shook ; and she sobbed till she was heart-sic^, 
 before she could explain ' the cruelty' of which 
 she complained. It was in vain to soothe her : 
 
 * she wished herself a beggar in the street :' she 
 
 * would ask to be apprenticed out :' she ' would 
 not submit to such cruel treatment.^ • What could 
 she do, more than she did ? She was sure she did 
 all in her power ; and as to needle-work, which 
 she was bid to do, where was she to find it ? Lady 
 Luxmore would give her no new work, and Mr. 
 Sterling hated to see her mending her clothes : he 
 had told her,- that it took the labor of one day to 
 make good the mischief of that before ; and since 
 
 Lord li r's brother had come in, and caught her 
 
 in this species of industry, she had resolved rather 
 to sit up all night to work, than to do it in public' 
 
 Presently her tears stopt : a sudden thought 
 came into her mind, and she recovered the com- 
 
 in^nd 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 34:5 
 
 mand of herself. * Sarah/ said she, ' you are 
 making shirts for Mr. Sterhng ; give me one, and 
 I will make it. I never did such a thing ; but I 
 dare say I can,' The fever of her mind admitted 
 of no delay; she collected what was necessary, 
 and went boldly into the roam where the coun- 
 tess was. 
 
 As might be expected, she was asked what was 
 her employment: her passion had now subsided 
 into what may be termed dri/ mbbiNg^ and she sat 
 down to work, in spite of every possible hint and 
 interruption, with all the diligence she could use, 
 not at all exciting Mr. Sterling's observation, 
 though, if what he had been, without doubjt, coin- 
 missioned to say, had sprung from his own percep- 
 tions, he would have seen that she was acting ia 
 obedience to his command. 
 
 In a week, she had finished the garment, and 
 very much doubting her own perfoVmance, car- 
 ried it to Sarah, in treating her to be very rigorous 
 in her examination of the work. Assured that, 
 at least, it ought to please, she made her next 
 visit to Mr. Sterling. 
 
 Let any one conceive Gertrude Aubrey, intro- 
 xiucing herself to the study, certainly at her full 
 height, and, in the strange caprice of an indignant 
 spirit — a sort of Hamlet-sense of unmerited in- 
 jury — not as any one else would have done, car- 
 rying the vestment decently folded up, but drag- 
 ging it after her on the ground, by the wristband 
 of one sleeve ! Perhaps, had she been the daughter 
 pf Tasso, he would have seen a resemblance be- 
 tween 
 
3<K) THE COUlffTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 twecn the state of her character at the moment, 
 and that of his ambassador Ars^antes, when, adopt- 
 incr the quarrel of his sovereign, he, in a rage, 
 shakes out war from the skirt of his garment. She 
 jirked the proof of her Imughtj obedience into the 
 centre of the carpet, and saying, * Tliere, Sir;, 
 you bid me work: when I asked you for a globe, 
 you bid me mind my work : I have made you a 
 shirt.' 
 
 * A shirt! — and for me?' said Mr. Sterling, rais- 
 ing his spectacles: * have you made it yourself?' — • 
 Receiving an atiirmative, he rose, and saying, 
 * Follow me,' he went to Lady Luxmore. 
 
 * Why, Nancy, your Aiiss here says she has 
 made me a shirt! — Do you know any thing about 
 it?' 
 
 * Not I, indeed : I am not in Miss's councils : 
 3 don't know half she does : &he is much above 
 me.' 
 
 * Well I but look at it, and tell me if it is well 
 done.' 
 
 Her ladyship laid hold on it, as Gertrude of- 
 fered it; and, w ith a fastidious glance, said : * Yes, 
 I cannot say it is badly done.' 
 
 * Then the globe to-morrow, and a guinea to- 
 day,' said Mr. Sterling, instantly performing tlie 
 pecuniary part of his promise. ' You have done 
 very right; and trust me, Gertrude, you shall not 
 suffer for it.' 
 
 ' The revolution produced in Mr. Sterling's sea- 
 timents by this accident, might have proved dai> 
 gerous to his niece's perfect enjoy m€at of absolute 
 
 power, 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 347 
 
 pow"*^, but infinitely more fatal to the equanimity 
 of Gertrude. To use Lady Luxmore's own phrase, 
 for one week, nothing was ' too hot or too heavy' 
 for * Miss/ She was praised to all comers: she 
 was encouraged in every exertion ; and circum- 
 stances connected with public affairs, having ren- 
 dered Mr. Sterling's introduction at St James's, 
 and his frequenting the levees and drawing-rooms 
 there, necessary, he began, in the excess of his 
 goodness, to project wonders for Gertrude; and 
 blaming the countess for letting her connections 
 dr-op, he tried to prevail on her to live more in the 
 world, hinting, at the same time, that the intro- 
 duction of Gertrude might be attended with good 
 effects. The balls on birth-nights were not then 
 given up; and he made the necessary enquiries for 
 procuring admission for her into the Lord Cham* 
 berlain's box on the next occasion. He, more than 
 ever, noticed her person, and seemed to be has- 
 tening her progress to womanhood : he gave her a 
 new dress, purchasing the right to indulge himself 
 by equal munificence to the countess : he gave her 
 his wife's watch, and he talked of ' the expediency' 
 of procuring such ornaments for her, as other young 
 people were wearing. 
 
 Her mind became, what is called, ' unhinged ;' 
 and fashion began to assert, far louder than here- 
 tofore, a claim to be heard. Her clotlies were 
 still made totally unlike those of young persons, 
 and she was, more than ever, sensible to the morti- 
 fication. Bad as were the materials, their shape 
 ^nd figure otfended her still mure; and determined 
 
 no\y 
 
34S THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 now to sail with tiie first favorable breeze she had 
 formed to carry forward her wishes, she resolved 
 to be no more singular where her own industry and 
 ingenuity could aid iier. Her hrst undertaking, 
 therefore, after this famous shirt, was the modern- 
 izing her wardrobe; and by dintof scissars, needle, 
 and thread, and pers'everance, she had nearly suc- 
 ceeded, in one instance, when Lady Luxmore, 
 who, till then, had suffered in silence, taking no- 
 tice of her proceedings, ordered the reinstatement 
 of the garment in its original form. This subject of 
 heart-burning was now eyed by its unhappy pos- 
 sessor, with disgust and despair; but it must have 
 been seen to have conveyed a just idea of itself, 
 when restored to its primaeval form : the small-pux 
 does nothing to the face of beauty, equal to the 
 injui-y here sustained ; that can only scar and 
 seam : here were scai's, seams, folds, and unmeet- 
 ing lines of pattern, to make altogether * a thing 
 of shreds and patches/ 
 
 Still, however, the best anchor held. Mr. Ster-r 
 liufr's kindness reniained firm. He had, at the 
 ex pence of four or five guineas, purchased for 
 her some little articles, which the goldsmith was 
 to send home, and his heart overflowing with 
 kind feelings, he had described them to her. Going 
 down next morning to the breakfast-room, the 
 outside of a little box on the chimney-piece, told 
 her her present was come, and that she had only 
 to wait his appearance to receive it. The coun- 
 tess was remarkablv gracious; not so her uncle; 
 
 his 
 
THE C0UXTE8S AND &ERTRUDE. 349 
 
 his brow was cloudy: the tea was. bad; the news- 
 paper was worse printed than ever; and Gertrude 
 M as not spoken to, till the party were breaking up, 
 when, calling her from the door, which she had 
 nearly reached, he gave her the box, with the al- 
 loying words, * Take it, if you think you deserve it/ 
 She knew not what to do or say ; to accept was 
 presumption ; to refuse, would have been insolence; 
 she stretched out her hand, curtsied, thanked, 
 and retired to view her giit : it consisted of sosne 
 obsolete finery of Lady Luxmore's ; and on the 
 next occasion of decorating, her ladyship had new 
 ornaments. Mr. Sterling's favor was gone, 
 
 Nunc * praeter pclagi casus, ct fulguris ictum 
 Evasi, densae caelum abscondere tenebrse;' 
 
 and Gertrude sunk again to her own rank of ex- 
 istence, happily we may say, for her. 
 
 She had lost in her expectations, she had gained 
 in the power of submission; and, too much subju- 
 gated even in her thoughts, to dare to whisper to 
 herself those epithets with which she might have 
 branded the action, it had no other consequence 
 with her than the abatement of hopes depending on 
 caprice, and an increase of ardor in those attain- 
 ments, which cheat none who honestly pursue 
 them. 
 
 A few days wore off Mr. Sterling's chagrin; 
 and had his niece happened to offend him in that 
 time, Gertrude might have been let into the whole 
 transaction ; but this not occurring, her restoration 
 
 to 
 
3^50 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 to favor was brought al)Out by the attrition of 
 needs and powers ; and perhaps convinced that lie 
 had erred as much on the one side of what was 
 equitable, as Lady Lux more had done on the 
 other, silence on the subject became prudence. 
 
 CHAP. 
 
THE COlfNTESS AND GERTRUDE* 351 
 
 CHAPTER XXI. 
 
 How to stmte down a taste. Anecdotes. Exemplary veracity. 
 The projected journey. Domestic p<tiici/. Lessons to a d(.. 
 pendent. The toad-eater. The Jarcucll. Mi&crles of soli* 
 tudc. The noble xUitor. 
 
 Thus, with little variation but that which attends 
 the steps of time, wore awa\^ Gertrude's years till 
 she was near sixteen. Mr. Sterling seemed her self- 
 constituted guardian; and the formation of her 
 mrn 1 was the consequence of the employment of 
 his. She was, likewise, indebted to him for the 
 observance of the decencies and injunctions of 
 Christianity : lie had prevailed on Lady Luxmore 
 to let her be confirmed : he had prepared her for 
 the subsequent duty, and himself accompanied her 
 in her introduction to it : he had been sometimes 
 engaged in hard literary labor, which always in- 
 cluded her, and sometimes at what he called rest, 
 which she never shai'ed; for the rest of an active 
 mind would form the labor of the indolent ; and as 
 it varied only in the degree of mental tension it 
 Superinduced, her quantity of mechanical employ- 
 ment was, never long together, sensible to the re- 
 laxation. 
 
 He w^ould, at times, have been pleased with an 
 
 escape, into the country; but his niece's unques- 
 
 '( . 3 tionabl'j, 
 
352 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDt. 
 
 tionable, though denied dislike to any place but 
 London, never suffered the discussion to go far. 
 When he hinted at it, she parried it by a caveat 
 against dulness and expence, at the same time 
 claiming the credit due to a taste for rural life* 
 
 * She loved the country/ she said, * as well as any 
 body, but she owned she did not like being dull/ 
 Mr. Sterling would reply by the opposite question, 
 
 * Pray, what call you your own house ? or, by the 
 more pettish assertion, that three trees would 
 make any place dull in her opinion. Then came 
 a question, * What is dulness ?* and the adversa- 
 ries lost each other in a fog of their own raising. 
 As it was not very convenient to him to remove 
 the materials of his employments, he acquiesced 
 the less reluctantly, and starved his love of nature 
 and her habitations, and endeavored to persuade 
 himself that the parks comprised all that the coun- 
 try could give, with the addition of casual society. 
 
 In his daily walks there, he found, or he made, 
 friends or acquaintance who resided near, and to 
 whose families he endeavored to introduce Lady 
 Luxmore. He would have made Gertrude the 
 companion in his circuit of St. James's, or the 
 Green park ; but her attendance on the countess 
 forbidding this, and some anger being excited by 
 the mention, she begged it might never be urged. 
 Her caution and fori; arance gave her increased 
 credit with him ; and he seemed, when vexed, 
 sometimes disposed to join forces with her; but 
 made wary by experience, she saw that she should 
 render the path of duty still more intricate, and 
 
 ther^fors. 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE; 333 
 
 therefore, but not without some few hints from hiin 
 of displeasure, declined the induli^ence. She now^ 
 however, stood so nearly in the light of a dauf^hter 
 to him, that the conversation he had partaken in 
 his walk seemed doubly amusing, if he could re- 
 peat it to her. He brought home to her with in- 
 finite glee, the story of the good old table-decker 
 at St. James's, who, growing feeble, and finding 
 himself unable to make the tour of the park, had 
 hit on the expedient of ^ going half round it and re- 
 turning :' he stood all his niece's reproofs for his 
 stupidity,' and her hints that ' he really began to be 
 unfit to walk by himself,' while he related the ac- 
 tual occurrence of his addressing a gentleman, as 
 a friend of his, of the name of JMilier : his taking 
 several turns in the mall with him, and entering 
 into close conversation, and at last being informed 
 that he was mistaken, by his companion's profes- 
 sing his entire want of knowledge of him : they 
 had conversed on circumstances that tallied, in an 
 extraordinary manner, with Mr. Sterling's suppo- 
 sition that he was talking to a person who knew 
 him ; but at length it came out, that this Mr. Mil^ 
 ler was of a German family, named Miiller. The 
 Anti-jacobin had not then laid it down as an axiom 
 in enunciation, that 
 
 U twice dotted, is pronounced like |. 
 
 but the matter of fact was then, as it is now. 
 When he met a jew- boy, crying, * Well limoni/ 
 instead of ' Good Lemons,' Gertrude shared his 
 mirth, and gained extraneous information. 
 
 VOL. I. A a But 
 
354 THE COUXTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 But it \\ as not only these little matters of mtVr 
 riment and amusement that she partook; he was 
 now so in the habit of communication, that he 
 seemed to consider any omission as an inadver- 
 tency, to be atoned for at the first opportunity ; 
 she, therefore, heard repeated some of tlie best 
 sentiments of the first men of the time ; and Mr. 
 Sterling had an accuracy of relation about him that 
 rendered all he said singularly valuable. He laid 
 it down as a rule, and observed it himself most 
 strictly, that whatever was conveyed to the under- 
 standing of another, ought to suffer nothing in the 
 conveyance ; he expected the simple fact to be de- 
 tailed, witliout confusion, addition, or embellish- 
 ment ; and in adhering to his own law, he gave a 
 compactness and a terseness to whatever he re- 
 peated, that is in the power of none who apply to 
 invention rather than to memory. As it was his 
 good taste that laid these injunctions on narrative, 
 the same taste, always consistent, directed his 
 manner : no story ever lost by not gaining in his 
 hands : it was the essence of the humor ; it was 
 the point of the epigram, the pathos of the nar- J 
 rative, or the emphasis of an expression, that 
 ^tood forth to the hearer ; and to say it was re- 
 ceived from him, was to stamp the authenticity of 
 any fact^. 
 
 In 
 
 * We would recommend to "all reporters of flicts and re- 
 lators of conversation, the scrupulosity of Mr. Sterling, and 
 |ke sentiment of Mr. Roscoe, who, in his life of Loren?^) 
 
In Lady Lux more there was in this space 
 of time so«>e little change, but as it was merely 
 that which years will bring, it was not so beneficial 
 to Gertrude as that slie found in Mr. Sterling. 
 Unexcited by any interest, unconsoled by any at- 
 tention, though both interests and attentions were 
 offered to her, and having no one whom she wished 
 to please, &v who paid her for her trouble in vex-^ 
 ing, slie would have sunk in-fia tlie most lifeless 
 
 de Medici, says, ' The efforts of iraaginatian shoU'ld not b^ 
 substituted for the documjent&of history/ 
 
 Were this indispcnsible attention to a plain rule of coiii-^ 
 mon henesi}*, a practke rather to be remarked cm than to 
 ho recommended, we should not see woods in laridscapes o£ 
 countries, whose very essence is the privation of vegetable 
 pr^djuclions, nor should we have occasion to detail the fol- 
 lowing fact, which we were very, sorry to see recorded by an 
 allusion, in a late popular publication. 
 
 Boswell, in his life o-f Johnson, has told a story of a lady, 
 Avho, in a dinner-party at hei? ©wia house, req^uested some 
 one npt to cut a n[king«, hecausc it cost fwu shilling^j and wh(» 
 yet was ruining her husband by her expence. The dinner- 
 party and the mango are facts; but the prohibition had no 
 foundation ; and tho price was guess. The lady was the 
 countess-dowager of R. — — , who certainly never ruined her 
 husband ;, and knowing herself to be meant in the anecdate, 
 she asked Boswell how he could so falsify the truth; he re- 
 plied, ' Why, madam, it is no more than is.dQne by landscape-' 
 paintei^: the landscape is from nature, but the tree in the 
 fo-reground is an embellishment*' 
 
 This is certainly not * splendid^ mendax ;' it is a most 
 dangerous, and almost a libellous 5ort of memloQit^ an^ au- 
 dacity, and happy we are to bear our testimony in a case 
 where qualities of a very properly opposite kind, render tiie 
 circumstance impossible, even if the biographer had not 
 pleafded guilty, 
 
 ^ A a ^ inanity, 
 
356 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 inanity, had not the broad-cast of general cen- 
 sure, and the dibbling of individual dislike, 
 formed a plan of agriculture for her mind. Even 
 in her fondnesses, some of which still subsisted, 
 it was evident that she was often supported more 
 by ill-will towards another than good-will towards 
 her favorite. She was fond of Sir Vapid V^acuum, 
 because * he was such an excellent husband ; he 
 never went out for a ride, or to walk, without ask- 
 ing Lady Vacuum if there was any thing he could 
 do to ohli,^^e her : he was all that a husband ought 
 to be. No matter that Sir Vapid was the laugh- 
 ing-stock of his acquaintance, that his highest sen- 
 sibilities were called out by chimney-sweepers, and 
 that he was almost in hysterics on reading the 
 narrative of the last moments of a little dog. — ' O ! 
 those words!' said he, * those words,' ' he wagged 
 his tail !' — ' I can never forget them :' ^ he wagged 
 his tail!'—' O! what pathos !' 
 
 Now even this partiality had its fulcrum. Lady 
 Vacuum was as much flint as her husband was 
 dough. To his question, ' What can I do to 
 oblige you r' she seldom answered any thing better 
 than ' Only set your chair away :' ther^efore, Sir 
 Vapid was still more beloved, as not only a con- 
 trast to Lord Luxmore, but a sufferer under the 
 despotism of a wife. Every one with whom the 
 countess was connected, had their jewel to which 
 they were the fpil • Mr. Sterling had his; Gertrude 
 had her's. 
 
 The earl had corresponded with his son, with 
 
 Mr. 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 337 
 
 Mr. Sydenham, and with his banker, but never 
 with his wife; and this cessation of intercourse 
 and the circumstances that led to it, had produced 
 the usual effect of silence between persons not 
 very dear or very necessary to each other. Though 
 no resentment remained in the real good-nature of 
 Lord Luxmore, he had, when it first occurred to 
 him, that he might as well write to his wife, felt it 
 difficult to begin; and the difhculty in-creasing every 
 time it came to his recollection, the recollection 
 ceased to trouble him : he, therefore, prepared 
 to return to England without any notice given to 
 his lady, but what she accepted from the occa- 
 sional, ^ We hear' and ' It is said' of the daily 
 papers. As his arrival was, as she exprest it, * no 
 object' to her, and she had, on a former occasion, 
 been misled into an expectation of it, she now 
 affected to disbelieve the probability of it, and thus 
 let it escape from her thoughts, without much 
 trouble in chasing it away, or any effort to retain 
 it. 
 
 His being on his way home, was at length matter 
 of public certainty; and about the same time, the 
 ill condition of some property in a very: distant 
 part of the kingdom, obliged Mr. Sterling to take a 
 journey thither. 
 
 It was a formidable necessity to a man not ac- 
 customed to ordinary modes of conveyance. Air. 
 Sterling, in a mail-coach, a stage-coach, or a post- 
 chaise, would have been, in the occupation of his 
 acquaintance, a novel association of ideas : had 
 ^ he continued to live en garfon^ his own chariot, 
 
 little 
 
8i8 THE COUNTESS AND GEETRUDE. 
 
 little less weighty than a farmer's loaded waggon, 
 with gilt springs, and lat long-tailed black horses, 
 would have been his style. New, lie felt more in- 
 clined to make the ladies of the party, tlian to 
 avail himself of modes of dispatch, or the blessings 
 of liberty. 
 
 I'he ' what say you to the journey, Lady Lux- 
 more?' was perfectly well received; but the neces- 
 sity of taking ' Miss' her ladyship could not per- 
 ceive; she had be-en treated to Oxford ; and if she 
 was now to go with them, she would fancy herself 
 a great personage and never to be left at home ; 
 it was restraint enough to have her always listening 
 to every thing; that they never could enjoy a din- 
 ner or a breakfast together, as such neai' relations 
 ought to do, and she should like to do without 
 her : as for herself, she never wished for any com- 
 pany but his; and she dared to say, it was tlie 
 same with him.' 
 
 * But pray, let me ask you, Nancy, before you 
 go on: — you are to do as you like about taking her; 
 but what should we say to each other if that girl 
 were not present? We can, at any time, speak ia 
 finother room; and you send her to bed long be-* 
 fore we retire : do not fancy that an iuconvenience 
 which is certainly a comfort to you and to me: we 
 grow old, and — ^ 
 
 * You remember, Sir, you are a few years older 
 than I am. I can't say I want any stach comfoi't ; 
 nnd I sometimes feel that to have people always 
 about on«, especially peopk so very clever a^ 
 ^ ]\!iss^' is not very agreeably.' 
 
 ^ ^ You 
 
THE COUNTESS AXD GERTRUDE. 3.59 
 
 ^ You remind me of my meeting yesterday in 
 the park, walking witii a gentleman I sometimes 
 chat with, a lady who was enquiring for a gover- 
 ness for her daughters : the person she wanted was 
 to have every possible recommendation, and as far 
 as I could learn, was to submit to every possible 
 indignity: she must on no account expect to be 
 considered as one of the family. I ventured to 
 ask, why this prohibition? and she gave me, very 
 politely, and good-humoredly, the reasons you 
 alledge against taking Gertrude, the shackles sh« 
 should feel in having any one constantly with her, 
 as she called it. I said what I could on the sub- 
 ject ; for, in my opinion, there is a great deal to 
 be said in that case ; and I could not forbear think- 
 ing the woman a very great fool, if she expected 
 good rsanners in a person from whom her children 
 were to learn them, when she denied the requisite 
 opportunities for cultivating them. But as to Ger- 
 trude, you are to do ^s you please ; she is your 
 charge not mine ; though I own I should hke he^r 
 to go, rather than your maid, in the carnage; and 
 somebody you must have, I suppose.' 
 
 * I can send my servant by any conveyance ; 
 and, I confess, I would rather liave my liberty.' 
 
 On this occasion, Gertrude had none of the 
 vicissitudes of hope and fear that had preceded the 
 Oxford journey. When she w^as told of the in- 
 tention of quitting home, her remaining there was 
 included in the same sentence, and she knew that 
 a computed portion of writing and sewing would 
 be left for her employment. But her heart svenk 
 
360 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 q,t the prospect, as the time approached : she had 
 never, in her recollection, spent a whole day alone ; 
 and though solitude, could she have used it ac- 
 cording to iier own inclination, would have been 
 a iavor to her, yet she had no means tq make it 
 turn to advantage ; and necessary as she had 
 been taught to think the countess's personal pro- 
 tection, she looked on the withdrawing it, even iu 
 this way, and for a space of time ever so short, 
 as synonymous with ruin to her She was to be 
 Jeft in the house witii t^vo female servants ; but 
 these were of a very common description, and had, 
 but a few weeks before entered on their places. 
 Fire and thieves were subjects of terror; and thp 
 tricks of London were constant topics of the 
 countess's conversation with her friends; she, who 
 had been nurUireJ in its atmosphere, was inter- 
 ested by its delinqucMcics, and could repeat, 
 without end, stories by vvhich parlors were entered 
 in sumnier-evenings, and houses stripped in the 
 absence of the family, Yet, forlorn asvvas the 
 prospect of, as it might prove, an uncheared soli- 
 tude of many weeks, she was obliged to acquiesce 
 in the reply m^de to ^\\ those who asked— and who 
 did notaski^ vvhether Miss Aubrey accompanied he;r 
 ladyship—which gave them to miderstand, that 
 ' Miss Aubrey would indeed remain in Londop, 
 but would be too ir^uch occupied tQ go. out or 
 receive visits.' The flattered give the pitch to 
 their flatterers; and L^dy Luxmore had generally 
 the satisfaction of hearing ' how perfectly right* 
 sjie was, — * how good iuii en>ployment was for 
 
 young 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 3^1 
 
 young people,' and ' how proper it was that every 
 gne should be able to live alone, especially in a 
 situation where every thing was provided for th^ir 
 comfort without their care or ex pence ;' — ' how 
 happy would they alF — if one could but believe 
 them! — ^ be in such a situation, and under such a 
 kind friend!' — ' INJiss Aubrey,' they were certain, 
 ' would not mind a few weeks by herself — though 
 to be sure, the tears that seemed to glisten, at least 
 they fancied so — in her eyes, spoke well for her 
 gratitude and attachment to her very generous 
 protectress, who, indeed, had her option of letting 
 her remain in her house, or sending her away.' — 
 ' Many people did not like to have people staying 
 in their houses, when absent themselves — there 
 were many inconvcniencies,* observed Miss Tabitha 
 Leech, * unless it were, perhaps, some middle- 
 aged single woman, who was left as an humble 
 friend with the servants under her — but then it 
 was difficult to find just such a person, entirely fit 
 for the trust, and who would accept it ; and after 
 all, it was an unthankful office, and it must be a 
 person without connexions needing to be looked 
 after. — Vv^ere she left in such a charge, she should 
 make a point of never stirring out: — she was very 
 fortunate, the year before, in the offer of- such a 
 situation — she hud taken the superintendance of 
 Sir Jehu and Lady Jaunt's elegant mansion, in 
 Berkley-square, during their absence in the west ; 
 — it had just saved her three months' lodging, and 
 she should like very well to meet with such a thing 
 
 again. 
 
562 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRltDK. 
 
 again. As Miss Aubrey was to be left in this 
 situation of confidence, she said nothing; but ha4' 
 Lady Luxmore wanted a person, she might have 
 been assured of her best services.' — There was 
 certainly no absolute necessity for making this ap- 
 plication to herself: Miss Leech's aim was as evi- 
 dent as if she had said, that the characteristics of 
 her person were requisite in the choice. 
 
 The day fixed for the journey arrived, notwith- 
 standing all Gertrude's reluctance to think of it : 
 she assisted in the preparations ; and having re- 
 ceived her last orders, a cold * good bye to ye* 
 from Lady Luxmore, and the farewell of a father 
 from Mr. Sterling, with a charge to be a good 
 girl, she saw tlKi carriage steer its narrow course 
 out of tlie pent-up quadrangle into the almost as 
 narrow defile of houses from which it branched, 
 and for the first time in her recollection, felt 
 desolate. It was a fine rich summer-morning; 
 every reflection of the light told what the hues 
 must be, where brick walls ^vere not, and Avhat 
 the sky might be, when not obscured by smoke ; 
 and when she turned in again to the dusky rooms, 
 who but those who know how the youthful spirit 
 will dilate beyond its mansion, can tell the senti- 
 ment of abject imprisonment that struck her heart? 
 She knew, indeed, she was not a prisoner : she 
 had her liberty ; but how could she use it ? Too 
 timid to venture alone into the street or the park, 
 she saw she must be content to immure herself: 
 sli^e looked out at the windows : those of every 
 
 house 
 
THE COUNTESS AND G*EIlTKUt>E. S63 
 
 house in sight, were closed ; their owners w^re 
 enjoying the couotry, and their vicegerents their 
 beds. 
 
 Unable to endure her own feelings, when in- 
 dulged in idleness, slie endeavored to soothe them, 
 by watering the moveable garden over the house- 
 door, and then sat down to her employment, a 
 principal part of which consisted of an index to 
 five quarto volumes, whieh she was to arrange al- 
 phabetically, and copy for the printer. 
 
 The day, though brilliant was melancholy-^ 
 perhaps the more melancholy for its brilliancy : slie 
 inissed Lady Luxmore's reprehensions and Mr. 
 Sterlings interruptions ; and the certainty that 
 she could neither be reprehended nor interrupted, 
 took away her power of activity : she tried to vary 
 her employment, but she could not command her 
 attention : she therfore resorted to her needle- 
 work, and felt it some little resource against the 
 corroding quality of vexation. Towards the even- 
 ing, one of the servants, in pure compassion, 
 offered to walk with her in the park ; she accepted 
 gratefully the kindness, and w^nt out ; but, as if 
 more responsible for the eccentrie tshabbiness of 
 her dress, than when with Lady Luxmore, s\yo 
 fancied every body loolced at her dyed tissue gown 
 and sordid shoes, and she soon retreated. 
 
 It was now that she felt more distinctly than 
 ever, the sad, sad want of a mother, and now that 
 her heart, ever proi^KJ to teach her imagination, 
 turned in all its bitternesss t6 the recollection, t^'dt 
 >jf ahq even /if?</ a mother, ^he scarce ^ared ov^-n l>er. 
 
 Unable 
 
364 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 Unable to face such another day, she saw lier 
 resource must, till her mind was more bowed to her 
 situation, be sought in something which, by inter- 
 esting her attention, would render her less sensible 
 to external circumstances. The library, she knew, 
 afforded this ; and though she had avoided it, as 
 peculiarly desolate in the absence of its master, 
 she determined to overcome this childish feeling, 
 and quit for it the drawing room, which, as it was 
 a season that spared coals, had been the countess's 
 sitting-room at the time of her departure. She 
 -went to make the experiment, on rising the next 
 morning, and finding the doors locked, she re- 
 quested the servants to open one of them; but tliey 
 had not the keys, nor could they accurately inform 
 her how they had been bestowed, or what was the 
 motive for the care, any further than that her 
 ladyship was seen with them in her hand when 
 Miss was busy, and that she was overheard to say, 
 .that if the doors were left open, she was sure 
 Miss would do nothing but read. 
 
 The discovery was somewhat mortifying; it as- 
 sisted, however, in bowing her spirit, and inclined 
 ratlier to cry, than to write or to sew, she felt the 
 necessity of avoiding herself To do this, she 
 asked the. servant who catered for the family, to 
 permit her to walk with her, when she went out on 
 the minor embassies of the mhwge, and found 
 some amusement in the detail of the market. In 
 going out for this purpose, they had met a man 
 on the steps, who had asked, if that was the 
 countess of Luxmore's, and whether she was at 
 
 home ; 
 
THE COUNTESS ANEf GERTRUDE. S65 
 
 home; and who, on hearing the reply, had said, 
 that was all he was ordered to ask, and had gone 
 away. 
 
 On their return, this was explained : they were 
 met by the maid- servant who had remained at 
 home, and in a whisper told, that the earl was 
 arrived and then in the drawing-room waiting to 
 see Miss Aubrey. He had asked many questions ; 
 it had been difficult to convince him that the 
 countess had really inhabited that house ; and he 
 seemed in expectation of hearing more from Miss 
 Aubrey. But could the object of his attendance 
 any way have escaped him, he would have waited 
 in vain. — Little cause as Gertrude had to trust the 
 prejudiced reports of Lady Luxmore, or to love 
 her, it was impossible, to any one brought up 
 under her, to entertain the smallest respect or 
 regard for the earl, the catalogue * raisonne' of 
 whose crimes, vices, and follies, had been rung in 
 her ears from the first days of her recollection. 
 
 * How shall I avoid him ?'' was on her lips in 
 attempting to pass the door of the drawing-room, 
 -which was half open, when his lordship, impatient 
 and impetuous, hearing footsteps, opened the door 
 entirely. He surely could not have expected to 
 see her the little plaything he had left her ; yet he 
 started back, and raised his eyes from the low 
 level on which he seemed to suppose he should 
 meet hers : his hands were stretched out, and his 
 countenance expressed honest pleasure; but the 
 next moment his hands were withdrawn, and 
 there was a suffusion on his cheek; and, as if her 
 
 very 
 
56$ THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 very outline demanded respect, he behaved re- 
 spectfully to her, whom he, perhaps, meant to 
 have caressed. — Let it not be said, Gertrude wasi 
 repelling— his lordship was correct. 
 
 CBAP, 
 
aiHE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE, S67 
 
 CHAPTER XXIJ. 
 
 A polished nobleman, A strong temptation to he disobedient* 
 The candor of youth. A conflict. The matter accommodated^ 
 A polite husbatid. The miseries of a short wardrobe^ 
 
 Every recollection of what she had heard, va- 
 nished at the moment the earl led her into the 
 middle of the room, and requested, in the most 
 well-bred manner, to know whether she could 
 possibly be ^ the little Aubrey.' She saw some- 
 thing far different from the idea impressed on her 
 mind by description. Instead of ' all that was 
 odious,' as his wife termed him, she could not but 
 perceive, that the gentleman before her, who 
 spoke to her with condescension and encouraged 
 her by kindness, had every advantage of person 
 and manners and yeai's, that any one would wish 
 bestowed on the object of their love, their pride, 
 and their esteem. She could not believe there 
 could be much that was in any way bad, under 
 an exterior so graceful, and a deportment so con- 
 ciliating ; and she thence might have precipitately 
 concluded, there must be something in marriage 
 that, when two persons were tired of each other, 
 blinded their judgments, or obscured their good 
 qualities. 
 
 When 
 
568 THE COUNTESS AN"t) GERTRUD^. 
 
 When her first feeHngs had subsided, she was 
 unembarragsed, and answered his lordship's many 
 queries and remarks concerning the house and its 
 mistress, with no other reservation than that 
 which the sense of her dependence taught. The 
 comparatively sordid dwelling, was indeed mat- 
 ter of astonishment and merriment to the earl ; 
 and when he had surveyed what was accessible of 
 it, he next turned his enquiries towards Mr. Ster- 
 Yincf, of whose residence with the countess he ap- 
 peared to be informed ; but here his questions 
 were bounded by the respect Gertrude expressed 
 for him to whom she owed much improvement, 
 and consequently much happiness ; and his lord^ 
 ship could not but conclude her justified in his 
 praise, as he saw that something beyond the limit 
 of Lady Luxmore's society, must have given her 
 protegee that promptitude and originality in ex- 
 pressing her ideas, which to him were equally novel 
 and agreeable. When he had Hstened to hei: 
 replies, he could hardly refrain from telling her, 
 she was a charming girl ; but it required much 
 more effrontery than his lordship, though a man 
 of fashion, ever possessed, or wished to possess, 
 to utter such approbation of one who seemed 
 scarcely to hope to escape blame : he therefore 
 turned it into the polite wish, that any thing in his 
 power could improve her comforts, and shifted his 
 discourse to a subject he did not imagine could 
 give her pain : he asked after her mother, de- 
 siring to have explained to him * a strange headless 
 
 story,' 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GEETRUDl!. 369 
 
 Story/ which had reached hirii^ of some sudden 
 ditiereiice between the countess and hen 
 
 Tears were the only answer she could give to 
 this wounding query, for, when called on to detail 
 it, she found that she knew but very imperfectly 
 tlie cause that had deprived her of her parent. 
 She could say little more than that she remem- 
 bered some i^reat confusion, some sreat loss to 
 Lady Luxmore, and her mother's being supposed 
 the cause, in conjunction with a Captain Smith, 
 and quitting the house abruptly: — she feared her 
 mother must have acted indiscreetly, as Lady 
 Luxmofe had never yet shewn any inclination to 
 forgive her; but she could not give up the hope, 
 that a time might come, when what had passed 
 would be explained to her perfect justification, 
 or, at least, to her excuse, and when she might be 
 allowed, if she still lived, to see and to know hen 
 
 * Were she ever so faulty,' concluded she, sobbing, 
 
 * it would yet, in my situation, be a comfort to 
 have a parent/ 
 
 * You might find yourself mistaken, my young 
 friend,' said his lordship. ^ I can conceive nothing 
 worse than the folly or indiscretion of a parent — • 
 it is a clog for one's life; it makes the world shy 
 of young people; and it brings millions of miseries. 
 — But tell me — Miss Aubrey, 1 suppose I am to 
 call you — are you unhappy here?' Perhaps had 
 this question been put to her at any other time, 
 she could have met it with a firm negative, before 
 her recollection had come forward to contradict 
 it; but the remembrance of the preceding day, 
 
 VOL. 1. B b and 
 
S7d THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 and the prospect of weeks of similar days, over- 
 came her; and bursting anew into tears, she could 
 only say — * As happy, my lord, as I have any 
 right to expect to be.' 
 
 Nothing female had interested the heart of 
 Lord Luxmore since that memorable day, when 
 tlie object of his illicit attachment had conscien- 
 tiously bidden him adieu for ever : his passions 
 had not wanted excitation ; and he had lived at 
 random, but Lord Luxmore was as imperfectly 
 vicious as virtuous : he was one of those people of 
 whom others have said, * they wished them either a 
 little better or a little worse, that they nnght know 
 where to class them, and after his erratic life, 
 there, perhaps, was pleasure — at least, there was 
 novelty, in correct feeling/ lie continued to speak 
 kindly, and sought in his mind for some happiness 
 to offer her ; but what could he offer ? He asked 
 her how she was to be employed or amused in the 
 absence of Lady Luxmore: she shewed him part 
 of what she had to copy, and pointed to a heap of 
 linen she had to make. 
 
 With an asseveration that made her start, the 
 carl vented his indignation at the tjranny implied 
 in these tasks; and vowing, that she should not be 
 pent up in ' such a dust-hole' for sucti a purpose, 
 he paced the room, as if endeavoring to devise 
 Bome plan for freeing her. 
 
 * Tell me,' said he, ^ ingenuously,; do you wish 
 to be removed from this house and from Lady 
 Luxmore's care ?' 
 
 May Gertrude be forgiven? — May her daily 
 
 and 
 
1?T1E COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 371 
 
 ■anri hourly mortifications, and the hope of, at least, 
 a change of evil plead for her, if it he acknow- 
 ledged, that she almost thought in the affirmative 
 — it must re-instate her in the good opinion, even 
 of the most rigorous, if it he added, that recollect- 
 ing Mr. Sterling, she replied, * No, ray lord ; I 
 have no wish to be removed/ 
 
 * Well then, what say you, my dear Miss Ger- 
 trude Aubrey, lo enlivening your sohtude by con- 
 verting it into a trip to Luxmore ? I may be sent, 
 out again very soon; for we errand-men are never 
 certain of an hour, therefore I must be quick in 
 looking after my own affairs. When I am once 
 settled abroad again, I do not think I shall be in 
 a hurry to return ; at least, I shall not com.e till 
 some great change takes place in my family- 
 concerns. I shall fetch Portaro-is from his marine 
 villa, to take him with me to Luxmore : he and 
 I shall be at the house; and I am sure Mr. 
 Sydenham and l:is sister, Mrs. Brett, who now, 
 I -understand, lives with him, will be very happy 
 to entertain you.'. 
 
 * I am greatly obliged by this kindness, my 
 lord, but it is impossible I can accept it.' 
 
 His lordship had not exerted his diplomatic 
 abilities for so many years, without learning the 
 art of overcoming a punctilious difficulty: he met 
 every objection that could be made, and was firm 
 in his purpose : he would take all the blame on 
 himself: — he would pay an amanuensis for writing 
 for her, and a sempstress for sewing, and, in short, 
 he would do so much that he lejft nothing for her 
 B b £ to 
 
37^ THE COUNTESS A^TD GERTRUDE. 
 
 to say. Portargis and he would call her, at any 
 hour she woald name, the day after the following. 
 The project appeared mad in itself, and, as far 
 as regarded her, full of danger: she could not 
 hope, that such a departure from the injunctions 
 laid on her, would be punished by any thing less 
 than the forfeiture of the countess's favor for cver< 
 and she felt, that even if Mr. Sterling supported 
 her, it might be insufficient to reinstate her. — 
 Urged, as she was by the good-natured earl, and 
 loudly as her own inclination prompted her * to 
 take the good the gods provided,' she yet wished 
 to avoid the pain of a wrong decision ; and con- 
 vinced that the servants, who knew Lady Lux- 
 more's orders and her temper, would join witli 
 her in thinking the risque too great, she asked his 
 lordship's permission to speak to them ; but he 
 replying with something like disdain, that he did 
 not usually consult his footmen on taking a 
 journey, she was instantly sensible of the error 
 into which her simplicity had led her; and over- 
 whelmed with confusion, she could only intreat 
 forgiveness, and beg that she might not be tempted 
 by the otfer of immediate pleasure, to do that 
 which must involve her in future misery. 
 
 Lord Luxmore was moved. — * I wish with all 
 niy soul,' said he, ' you would teach the world 
 this excellent doctrine — ^'tis, as you justly say, the 
 offer of immediate pleasure that involves us in 
 future misery. — But Avhere, njy good girl, have 
 you learnt all this wisdom? —I am sure my wife 
 could not teach it you.' 
 
 ' 01 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 375 
 
 * O ! my lord, it" you knew Mr. Sterling, you 
 ^vould not ask me.' 
 
 ' 1 thought he had been a cross old stingy kind 
 of being — he and I "svere once on opposite sides 
 of a question; and I thought then he used me 
 very iil ; — but as matters have turned out, I do 
 not know whether it might not have been better 
 
 for me, had I But tell me — what kind of man 
 
 is her' 
 
 * One of the best in the world. I can conceive 
 nothing superior to him : — he is certainly a little 
 pettish at times, but who is not? and his kindness 
 to me more than atones for it; — every hour I pass 
 with him, is a lesson in something useful — some- 
 thinor that informs mc, or something intended to 
 make me better.' 
 
 ' There is little occasion for that,' replied Lord 
 Luxmore, with that thorough v/ant of consider- 
 ation that makes us tell children ' how pretty they 
 are,' and ' how good they look ;' but Gertrude 
 was not in danger of being hurt by the point- 
 blank compliment — she ascribed all to Mr. Ster^ 
 ling, and honestly, as well as prudently, wished 
 to convince his lordship, that the friendship of 
 such a man was not to be lightly appreciated 
 or sacrificed for a frolic— But what she said 
 availed nought. — The earl repeated to himself her 
 accidental antithesis of ^ immediate pleasure,' and 
 * future misery :' he commented on it, and ac- 
 knowledged, as an idea new to him, that the pre- 
 ference of the future to the present, is the basis of 
 virtue and of happiness : he argued neither igno- 
 
 rantly, 
 
374 THE COUNTESS ANP GERTRUDE. 
 
 rantly, nor perhaps insincerely, on the pleasure 
 there must be, to those who would submit to it, in 
 foregoing our inclinations on the ascetic principle 
 of virtuous self-denial. The emphasis with which 
 he pronounced the word must, proved, that he 
 presumed tlie consequence, and not at all that he 
 knew it hif experience : what etfect it had on his 
 actions, was instantly evident ; he had admitted, 
 he had repeated, he had ruminated on the axiom, 
 but he changed the subject only to tell her, he 
 was more than ever determined on his plan. 
 
 The sentiment not being f/uite so new to her, 
 had sunk deeper into her heart, and with a glow 
 that spoke the approbation of her conscience in 
 the triumph of the virtue he had praised, she, with 
 increased gentleness, with the humblest gratitude, 
 but strengthened firmness, declined his offer. 
 
 The matter in itself seemed indeed trilling : the 
 question \yas only, should she commit . a girlish 
 fault in running away from that which was 
 irksome, to meet that which was pleasant? and 
 by this reference to the abstract, not the relative 
 state of a question, do the lenient moralists of the 
 present day judge : — every thing, according to 
 their ideas, or, at least, according to their j&ro- 
 fessionSj is ' taken up too seriously.' If a parent 
 corrects a child for a fault persisted in aiid re- 
 peated, the cruelty of the correction is remarked 
 on, as if it had a casual error for its object; and 
 our Gertrude's fortitude would have met no en- 
 couragement from the world. 
 
 But slie had entered.on the conflict i-r-her prin- 
 ciples 
 3 
 
THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 375 
 
 ciples taught her to abide it ; and it was not till 
 the earl had reduced his proposal to a fortniiylit s 
 absence, that she listened to it Then, indeed, 
 the temptation was very strong, as she hoped, by 
 industry, she could execute all that had been left 
 her to perform. 
 
 She began to hesitate: and Lord Luxmore, 
 aware of it, thought to turn the balance instantly 
 in his favor, by offering to keep her absence 
 secret : he had now nearly overset the little vessel 
 of hope he was steering ; but instantly retracting, 
 and confessing himself misled by his zeal for her 
 happiness, he set the matter again where it was, 
 and discussing it as a question of only a fortnight's 
 absence, he left her little that she could brin^r 
 forward as opposition. 
 
 Her countenance, perhaps, told that she was 
 not displeased by the endeavor to accommodate ; 
 yet her acquiescence was imperfect, and there 
 were still obstacles which she was afraid to name ; 
 she almost flattered herself she ought not to name 
 them — perhaps it was only her want of knowing 
 the world that made her think of them ; but if so, 
 why did something within her make them seem 
 so important? She could urge the extreme im- 
 propriety of her going to the house of Mr. Sy- 
 denham uninvited ; but this his lordship obviated 
 by shewing her, in a letter he had just received 
 from him, a passage respecting herself, w hich had 
 been, in a great degree, the cause of this visit. 
 In it, Mr. Sydenham intimated, that he understood 
 l^dy Luxmore's health to be very much impaired ; 
 
 and 
 
S7G TILE COUNTESS AND GERTRUUE. 
 
 and he suggested the propriety of some arranger 
 mentwith regard to iier * very promising protegee' 
 He begged his lordship, if, on visiting his lady, it 
 appeared to him that the charge of Miss Aubrey 
 v/as too fatiguing or in any way undesirable, that 
 his and Mrs. Brett's best services might be ten- 
 dered. 
 
 * We parsons/ said ]\Ir. Sydenhan:^, ' should, 
 where wc can, assist e^ch other's families ; thp 
 church affoids but a poor provision fqr those who 
 are to come after us, especially for girls ; and feel- 
 ing this, and knowing the young damsel as I do, 
 I would willingly consider her as my own, if her 
 situation ever admits of my making the offer. 
 Should you find matters as I have hinted, pray, 
 my dear lord, do not hesitate, but consign her to 
 us ; and we will receive her gladly for any time li- 
 ipited or unlimited.' 
 
 All objection of this kind was now done away ; 
 and she could plead something like an invitation. 
 The truth became more terribly stript than ever, 
 and when again pressed for her full compliance^ 
 she was driven to a most painful species and de- 
 gree of ingenuousness; for, however allured, how- 
 ever in some points justified, and however desirous 
 to make the right and the pleasant of the question 
 agree between themselves, nothing could overcome 
 those instinctive feelings, the antennce of our duty, 
 which are bestowed on us to warn us of the ap- 
 proaching danger of being in danger of erring. 
 She knew, -in her heart, that in itself there could 
 be no breach of any great rule of virtue in acquiesc- 
 ing 
 
THE COUXTESS AND GERTRUDE. 377 
 
 ing on such conditions as she meant to insist on ; 
 but she had never turned the lancet-edge of her 
 feelings by misuse: they, therefore, were in rheir 
 keenest perfection ; and, in her reading, they liad 
 met rather with confirmation than currecliqn. 
 Though ignorant of tlje practical world; she knew 
 what it had a right to expect from those who com^ 
 pose its society : it required not an acquaintance 
 with its follies or its vices to know, that as tliose 
 addicted to either, must, by doing much harm, de- 
 serve censure, tliose who bear the semblance of 
 evil, denominated indiscretion, must be, if not 
 culpable, at least deserving of admonition ; that 
 nothing deserving of admonition can be ex- 
 emplary; and that an injunction to be an ex- 
 ample, was contained in many passages of that 
 book, from which her duty was to be learned. — 
 This point having been settled in her own clumsy 
 homely way, long before the present occasion, she 
 had only to decide that, as it forbade her acting 
 indiscreetly, what she was about to do, must either 
 be accompanied by justifying prudence, or re- 
 nounced. 
 
 The search after satisfaction called her off from 
 the pursuit of enjoyment ; and she felt that it was 
 not only very possible, but w^ould be her voluntary 
 choice to relinquish the latter to secure the former. 
 Firmly, therefore, but with the most respectful ac- 
 knowledgments, appealing to the earl's sense of 
 right, to his ideas of decorum, and his knowledge 
 of her unsupported situation, she told him. not 
 that there w-ere two conditions on whicli she would 
 accept his kindness, but two insuperable obsta- 
 8 cles 
 
37S THE COUNTESS AI^D GERTRUDK. 
 
 clcs that must oppose her accepting it: the one 
 was, that he should be the the only female of the 
 party, the other, that she could not obtain Lady 
 Luxmore's permission. 
 
 A few minutes were \vastcd in an endeavor to 
 convince her, that neither a com[)anion of her own 
 sex nor a permit was necessary : she listened in 
 silence and was supposed convinced ; but with only 
 an apology for any seeming obstinacy, she contest 
 her opinion unchanged ; and his lordship, baffled 
 in his good-natured intention, yet not at all inclined 
 to foreiio the pleasure of pleasing her, was driven 
 to the sad resource of pacing the room, in deeper 
 thought than he had exercise-d in his official ca- 
 pacity, to strike out some middle plan that would 
 be approved by the simple sense of a giri not quite. 
 sixteen. 
 
 * Would you,' said he, ' do as I wish, if I found 
 means to obviate these ditiiculties r' 
 
 * I cannot promise : some other impropriety 
 mi»ht arise to mv recollection ; but as it would be 
 founded only in my fear of doing wrong, I am cer- 
 tain your lordship would not severely blame it/ 
 
 ' Do you wish to make difficulties, or to over- 
 come them r' 
 
 * You cannot ask me seriously, my lord. I 
 should be very thankful to be allowed to go to 
 Luxmore, if I could do it with propriety ; but you 
 know, that when one does any thing that seems 
 wrong, it is so xery uncomfortable, that all the 
 pleasure is made misery; and I would much rather 
 stay here than risk it : here, I know the worst, and 
 
THE COUxVTESS AND GERTRUDE. 379 
 
 no one can blame me ; but to do what I am sure 
 Mr. Sydenham and his sister would think wronor, 
 would be to forfeit my welcome ; and even if they 
 were kind enough to impute it to my want of know- 
 ing better, as I cannot plead this ignorance, I 
 must, even if nobody ever blamed me, be very un- 
 easy : there is something so selfish in doing what 
 we cannot but suspect improper, because we like 
 it! — it is like eating what one knows injurious to 
 one's health.' 
 
 Again, his lordship was referred to his feet : 
 
 * You could have an answer from Lady Lux- 
 more by Thursday, I suppose.' 
 
 ' Yes, if I write to-day : they were to stop on 
 the road for some days, I know, within one day s 
 post : Islr. Sterling said so when he left orders 
 abouf his letters.' 
 
 * Will you let ine write, Miss Aubrey ? 
 
 * No, no, my lord; I cannot do thac' 
 
 * "Will you let me see your letter before you 
 seal it ? — And will you say what you can to get per- 
 mission ?' 
 
 * Certainly ; but this is not the greater of my 
 two diflficulties : the writing is easily accomplished. 
 Lady Luxmore may, indeed, not answer me ,* and 
 then, I fear, I ought not to go; but of this, I would 
 take my chance ; if — 
 
 * Well ! the if I can meet with an expedient : 
 it would, indeed, postpone my setting out till the 
 beginning of next week ; but I would wait, rather 
 than leave ypu here, now I have set my mind on 
 releasing you. My old aunt Lady Mary Syden- 
 ham, 
 
380 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 ham, a venerable spinster, but a very good crea- 
 ture, — you have never seen her, I conclude — has 
 a mind to see Luxmore again, belbre her bones arc 
 laid there : she proposes coming down to nie for 
 a few days, while I stay there ; and I can arrange 
 our travelling with her : a carriage will hold us 
 four, for it is not a modern one; and post-horses 
 will take us down in very good time / 
 
 * V/ill Lady Mary approve this V 
 
 * O ! yes, I am sure she will : she is very fond 
 of Sydenham ; and if you go as a visitor to the 
 rectory, she will be glad to assist in your con- 
 veyance.' 
 
 * But still I should he very sorry to detain your 
 lordship. And 1 should not be happy if I did not 
 know Lady ^lary consented readily. — And — ' 
 
 * And what next?' said his lordship, with good- 
 humored peevishness. 
 
 ' How shall 1 let your lordship know the purport 
 of Lady Luxniore's answer?' 
 
 ' I will call every day.' 
 
 ' O dear !— no— that must not be. Lady Lux- 
 more said expressly, I was not to have any vi- 
 sitors.' 
 
 ' Wliy, you cannot stir without the breach of 
 some commandment. Nonsense.' 
 
 ' No; not nonsense: I must confess, Lady Lux- 
 more is ricrht: if she allows me a home in her 
 house, and maintains me there, — she surely may 
 make her own conditions; and I am sure she is 
 perfectly right ; and I am obliged to her : it would 
 
 be 
 
THE COUXTESS AND GERTRUDE. 381 
 
 be very awkward for me to have any visitors : 
 therefore, I must beg, my lord ' 
 
 * Well, I have said A. Miss Aubrey, so I must 
 say B. I will fetch my son, and in my way back 
 make a call on a friend. I will leave you my ad- 
 dress, on condition that you let me know the re- 
 sult of your writing to Lady Luxmore.' 
 
 * Certainly.' 
 
 * And you will not cheat me ?' 
 
 ' You do not know Qie, my lord, or how much 
 obliged I feel for all this goodness.' 
 
 * Well tlien, write your letter ; and I will frank 
 it. I know my wife has no objection to save six- 
 pence occasionally : if I hurry you, I will call 
 again.' 
 
 It was not necessary to give him this trouble. 
 She wrote. The earl skimmed a stale newspaper, 
 and finding nothing to object to in her diction, 
 except that she had not said * half enough,' he 
 Mas proceeding to write the superscription, when it 
 occurred to him, that a few lines from himself 
 might conciliate matters : there was a little debate 
 in his mind ; but, at last, the active voice predomi- 
 nated ; and with a little consideration, hejinessed 
 a really civil letter to his wife, in which he excused 
 himself for not having seen her on his arrival, by 
 the necessity he had been under of following the 
 king, and expressed a hope of being mo7^e Jortu^ 
 nate on his return. 
 
 Nothing could give Gertrude greater pleasure 
 than this condescension : it seemed to open a door 
 to a new order of things. His lordship took his 
 
 leave. 
 
382 THE COUNTESS AND GERTRUDE. 
 
 leave, nith all the decorum that had attended his 
 visit, prouiisiniz to make arrangements by writing; 
 and she had then only to sit down, in a tumult of 
 novel delight, to recollect that there was one griev- 
 ous impediment to her happiness ; an impediment 
 she had not dared to name; an impediment so 
 tiitlin<^ in its reality, that she was ashamed to feel 
 it very grievously important. It was one connect- 
 ed with her sex and her poverty : — it was delicacy 
 concerninf^ her appearance, and the want of means 
 to make it decent; and in ruminating on this bitter 
 mortification, she felt something very nearly allied 
 to repentance of her acquiescence in the prospect 
 of her own happiness. 
 
 ' Rest quiet ; you can do no good ; the oppressed 
 camiot be disgraced by oppression,' was the reply 
 made by a literary man, whose reputation, arrived 
 now at its zenith, will, while virtue and Christianity 
 are prized, know no setting— when consulted on 
 the possibility of abating the mortifications of a 
 dependent. But this had never come to Gertrude's 
 ear; and alas! even the precepts of the * Vis 
 fieri liber?' which, in many instances, had soothed 
 the asperities of her fate, were at this moment, 
 when ima^^inary public disgrace attended her, lost 
 to her recollection. 
 
 There was, however, no option in her fate. 
 She could not collect magnanimity enough to with- 
 hold her petition from Lady Luxmore, or to wish 
 it might be refused: she told herself she had only 
 to submit to being ridiculous and despicable.; but 
 submission was not the easier. 
 
 Her 
 
Her distresses haunted her sleep ; and she rose 
 the next morning in a situation of possible happi- 
 ness, alloyed by a certain vexation. No philoso- 
 phical or even religious arguments would avail 
 her; they were all too big for so small a subject; 
 a subject that she stigmatised as trumpery in the 
 extreme, yet felt of powerful influence. She could 
 as little justify her anxiety by the permission * to 
 provide things honest,' but it was no extension of 
 indulgence to her who had no power; and she had 
 no temper of mind to adopt but vexation. 
 
 f.^D OF VOLUME I. 
 
 Printed by Law and Gilbert, St. Johu's Sq^imr^ Lundoa.