i6o COCKTO? (Henrv7""^r";^-TR?^ I ^'^/^'-^/ra/.r/ «.////r; ?J7i Stanley ThorHT I ' '>^.^-^ by G. Cn ksllfrk /f' h^anorous etch-. ^ _Ben llev. 1841 I ?u!fe^>^^NtS.'L^- L I E) RAFLY OF THE U N IVERSITY Of ILLINOIS C64st The person charging this material is re- sponsible for its return to the library from which it was withdrawn on or before the Latest Date stamped below. Theft, mutilation, and underlining of books are reasons for disciplinary action and may result in dismissal from the University. UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS LIBRARY AT URBANA-CHAMPAIGN .jii\3'ii^ AU6 2 h liT* Aiic- 2 4 m j-//- ?/(/^ y^f- n/ ^"t v^' /o 1/ /f ( .<>/ ^ (V' iV V' r STANLEY THORN. BY HENRY COCKTON, ESQ. AUTHOR OF " VALENTINE VOX, THE VENTRILOQUIST," &c. WITH ILLUSTRATIONS. IN THREE VOLUMES. VOL. I. LONDON: RICHARD BENTLEY, NEW BURLINGTON STREET. 1841. & L O ND O M : PRJXTED BT SCHULZE AND CO., 13, POLA\D STREET. v'l ILLUSTRATIONS. VOL. I. Page llie Elopement. . . .To face the title. One of the earliest characteristics of Stanley 3 developed. . . . . . .12 g Stanley Thorn after a jovial party. . .173 M The Discovery. 228 VOL. IL ,i Mr. Bouncewell and his colleagues trying it on To face the title. . ^ Bob makes up his book for the Derby. . 14 *,v ' The presentation of the pearls. Stanley plays Sir William's game. Canvassing. .... "X Chairing the Member. 116 170 236 282 VOL m ," Sir William WormMrell receives satisfaction. : To face the title. Stanley and his mother going into their ac- counts. ...... 37 The Earl and the professional gentlemen. . 153 Captain Filcher explains how the aristocracy 7 behave. 223 Chastisement of Sir WilHam by Ameha's brother. 274 STANLEY THORN. CHAPTER I. PORTRAYS, WITH OTHER FEATURES OF IMPORTANCE THE EARLY CHARACTERISTICS OF OUR HERO. To those who had not the honour of being extremely intimate with Alderman Thorn, it will be necessary to explain that he was a man of considerable wealth, derived chiefly from a series of successful speculations in hops ; that he married very early, with the immediate view of procuring the means of entering into those speculations ; that at the expiration of fifteen years from the date of his marriage certificate he was generously and formally presented with an heir, whom he caused to be baptized in the name of Stanley, in honour of an aristocratic friend of that name ; that he lived in purely VOL. I. B 2 STANLEY THORN. aldermanic style until he arrived at the age of fifty-four, when he utterly repudiated not only all intoxicating liquors, but all animal food save that which existed invisibly in vegetables and water ; that such total change of diet at his age brought on an almost perpetual shivering, which, however, failed to induce him to forego his high resolve, but which gradually killed him ; that while some held a minute 2:fOst mortem examina- tion to be essential to the promotion of the science of pathology, others held it to be es- sential by no means, it being clear that his living had caused his death, or, in other words, that his alimentary canal had been completely frozen over ; and finally, that he was buried with appropriate pomp, without the ice being thus sacrilegiously broken. Having performed the pleasing duty of placing these afflicting details upon record to the per- fect satisfaction, it is to be hoped, even of those by whom this worthy individual was held in high esteem, it now becomes strictly proper to state, that at the period of the lamentable dis- solution of the alderman, Stanley had just completed his fifteenth year, and that he ojn:. STANLEY TKORN. hands, that, instead of regretting Bob's ab- sence, as at first, he began to like it rather than not. The gentle Joanna had heard much of the venerable gentleman from Bob. She had heard of his high-toned gentleman-like bearing, of his honourable and strictly virtuous principles, of his brilliant conversational qualities, and of the general generosity of his heart. She had, moreover, heard that he possessed some con- siderable property, which, in her gentle judg- ment, imparted an additional lustre to the whole. She had, therefore, been powerfully prepossessed in his favour before she had the honour of an introduction ; and his conduct in her presence was so perfectly correct, that she felt a strong conviction that the high and noble qualities of his heart and mind had been to some considerable extent understat- ed. It is true he was rather an elderly gen- tleman; but it is also true that he was, in her opinion, an exceedingly nice-looking, el- derly gentleman, who, although in reality sixty, might pass very well for forty- six or b2 4 STANLEY THORN. forty-seven, considering that the hair even of young men will sometimes turn grey ! There was, however, one consideration which — as she confidentially consulted her friend, the pillow, night after night — caused her to reflect deeply upon the solemn and irrevocable step she contemplated. This consideration was a high one, — it being no other than that of what the world would say, — and therefore one which induced her to pause, and very naturally, see- ing that she was known, not only to the whole of her fellow servants, but to the milkman, the laundress, the baker's man, and the but- cher. It was hence in her view of the deep- est importance that due deference should be paid in this matter to the opinion of the world, knowing well, as she did know, that nothing on earth tends to promote human happiness more than the consciousness of being by the world looked up to and respected. For some time this objection appeared to be insuperable. She could not get over it. Many restless days and sleepless nights did she pass in deep re- flection. She even went to the most eminent STANLEY THORN. 5 astrologer of the age for the purpose of having her nativity cast, and was greatly relieved when that profoundly learned person informed her that she would have two husbands, and be with both extremely prosperous and happy : it seemed to be so very conclusive. Still the question of what the world would say was con- tinually upon her lips while she zealously racked her imagination to conceive a sound and sufficient answer to that question; for she imagined, and very correctly, that, if the world should be up in arms in consequence of her marrying an elderly gentleman, it might to some extent interfere with her connubial bliss. At length, however, having considered the matter in all its parts and bearings, she safely arrived at this conclusion, that it would not by any means become her to fly in the teeth of fate, and that, feeling quite sure that the ve- nerable gentleman had been distinctly destined to be her first, it was her duty to surrender herself meekly to circumstances over which she could not be supposed to have control. She therefore made a dead set at him at 6 STANLEY THORN- once, and called into action all her artillery, with the view of attacking his susceptible heart. She established in his presence one perpetual smile — which was indeed a very sweet one of the sort — sighed occasionally with very great effect, and glanced at him with constancy, and corresponding bashfulness, and frequently while playing removed the wrong peg, at the same time protesting that she actually didn't know what she was about — she didn't actually. At the commencement of these affectionate proceedings the venerable gentleman rallied her gaily, and whenever he did so she felt her- self bound to become so confused that she couldn't play at all, she couldn't count, she couldn't help pegging backwards, and the con- sequence was that she couldn't win a game ; but, albeit these little manoeuvres were for some time regarded by the experienced eye of her venerable partner with suspicion, her emo- tion was so deep, and so strong, and so strik- ingly developed, that while he still enter- tained the belief that as a general thing love was a gross imposition, he eventually could not STANLEY THORN. 7 but feel that in the gentle Joanna he had dis- covered the exception that established the rule. He was sure that she loved him — fondly, passionately loved him ; she couldn't help showing it ! In his view a man must be blind who couldn't see it : the thing was so palpa- ble : nothing could be clearer ; and to be be- loved at his age, and that, too, by a finely- built, cherry-cheeked, nicely-behaved, comfort- able-looking creature nearly thirty years younger than himself, was an idea which flat- tered the venerable gentleman : he felt it very deeply, and thought of it constantly ; and as he experienced a variety of sweet feelings which were altogether new to him, he resolved to be, if possible, more killing than ever, as the first grand preliminary to his seeing precisely what could be done. He accordingly became more refined in his language, and dressed with more care, and displayed more agility ; and not only related the feats he had performed, but dwelt upon those which he was able with ease to per- form then : in short, having the most tender aspirations by which a lover could be prompted. 8 STANLEY THORN. he felt that his success as a lover was essential to the maintenance of his reputation as a man : although he knew that when two devoted per- sons try to win each other's hearts, they seldom, indeed, try in vain. He became much more constant in his visits, and was delighted when Bob was absent, which frequently happened, as he went with his master down to the House, and occasionally waited there for hours. On one of these occasions, when the lovers had been playing at their -favourite game for some time without the slightest interruption, the venerable gentleman, conscious of the high estimation in which wealth is held by ladies in general, and how greatly it assists the imagi- nation in all matters of love, embraced a fine opportunity, which the fact of his having won ninepence afforded, for making the following remarkable observation : " Wot a hexcellent thing lots o' money is, ain't it ?' Joanna blushed deeply, and felt extremely tremulous ; but, conceiving it to be her duty to say something, she faintly replied, STANLEY THORN. 9 " Why, it certingly is an excessively excel- lent thing ; but happiness for me, Mr. Joseph, before all the money. Happiness isn't to be bought, for there's no shop in life where it's sold.'^ '^That's hall werry reg'lar,'^ rejoined the venerable gentleman. " You're quite correctly right in that air : still money's a hout and hout thing ! on'y go for to look at the ad wan- tages on it ! — on'y see ^ow hindependent they are, them as does persess lots ; vile them as don't, is in a wuss state of slavery than the black popplation there out by the North Pole. They're never theirselves, them as ain't got no money. They can't hold their heads up : it's clean against natur'. Jist p'int out to me a hindiwidual a-vendin' his vay along the streets, on'y jist let me look at him full in the face, and if I don't tell you vether he's got any money or not, I'll be bound to be blessed ; cos he as hasn't, alius looks werry petickler down his nose ; vile he as has, takes about as much notice of that horgan as if he hadn't got one. He can't look right straight at yer, him wot's b3 10 STANLEY THORN. got all his pockets empty ; he can't ketch yer hearty and vorm by the hand ; he can't speak like a hinnercent man : his woice shivers and shakes jist for all the vorld as if it vos ashamed of itself; and he mumbles, and trembles, and wobbles, vile the corners of his mouth drops right away down in the rottenest manner alive ; verehas, the man vich has got plenty in his pocket can look at yer fierce. He can take yer hand with henergy, and speak up as if he owed yer nothink, and vornt a bit afeared on yer, vich makes great hodds ! Ven I meets a friend, now, vich ain't got no money, I don't like to see him, — I can't say I do, — not a bit acQs I'm spungy, or anythink o'that ; but I'd rayther not see him. I some'ow or nother don't like it. I pities him ; and, as pity wounds the feelings, it ain't consequentially pleasant. If a friend in them there circum- stantials ses to me, ' Have yer got sich a thing as a couple o' shilHn's, it cuts me to the quick ; not acos I at all objects to lend it, nor cos I don't hand him over double wot he arsts for, and never expects to vitness agin the colour of STANLEY THORN. 11 the money, but it^s cos it hurts my sentiments to see him, and wounds me to think wot his feehngs must be. That's the p'int, you know ! that^s vere he feels it !" " Exactly/^ returned Joanna : " you're ex- cessively correct ; but that warn't by no man- ner of means what I meant. I didn't by any means mean to mean that money was no ob- ject, or that it wasn't an excessive advantage : no, if I thought that, I should not have put by for a rainy day, as I have done. I shouldn't have thought of having such an amount as I have in the saving's banks at the present period of time. All I meant was, that money wasn't all ; that money alone couldn't purchase happiness, and therefore that happiness was to be preferred.'' "And in the long run I agrees vith yer. 'Appiness, in course, his the thing — the great thing : ve can't git through the vorld at all comfortable vithout it ; but though it is to be found in hevery spere of society, from Vest- mister to Vopping, vere can it be found without money ? I don't mean to say that they're un- 12 STANLEY THORN. seperateable, — that is to say, that verever there's money there must be 'appiness conse- quentially also ; but I do mean to say, that verever there's 'appiness, there there must like- vise be money. There can't be no 'appiness vithout it. It stands to reason ; it ain't nat'ral ! Look at them vich is in debt : 'ow can they be 'appy?" I'll defy 'em to do it! It's out of natur' for 'em to be 'appy, from the highest spere down to the werry lowest, — from him vich owes his banker arf a million, to him as owes his chandley-shop-keeper arf-a-crown. It's onpossible ! Look at me o'ny jist for instance. I've got seven houses vich brings me in fifty pound a: ear, all let to respectable tenants, substantial men of family vich never shoots the moon, and the writings is at home. Werry v/ell. Now vot, — s'pose I should be throwed out o' place, — vot should I care, vith them to fall back upon r Nothink. But s'pose I hadn't them, and then vos to be throwed out vithout the prospect of gettin' another, vere abouts vood be the price of my 'appiness then ? Voodn't it be out of all STANLEY THORX. 13 character for me to be 'appy ? In course : vere poverty is, there ^appiness can't be. They never agree together ; they^re hallvays a-fightin', and poverty's safe to be wictorious." "I admire your mode of argument/* ob- served Joanna, gently ; ^' it's excessively intel- lectual and correct ; but have you never, in the course of your extensive experience, found those that are poor as happy as those that are rich ?" *^Vy,'' replied the venerable gentleman, knitting his brows thoughtfully, " that is a p'int vich requires to be explained. You see, the poor is sometimes richer than the rich ; and, on the tother side 'o the pictur', the rich is sometimes poorer than the poor. I don't call him poor, however poor he may be, vich has got enough to keep him respectable in his spere ; nor I don't call him rich, however rich he may be, vich hasn't got enough to keep him respectable .in hisn. A rich man maybe werry rich, and a poor man may be werry poor, and between them a werry great distinction may be drawed 3 but the poor man, vich has but 14 STANLEY THORN. twelve shillin's a veek, and vith that can supply- all his vonts, is richer than him vith ten thou- sand a-ear, hif vith that he's enable to make both ends meet. That's the p'int ! So^ you see, I don't call the poor reg'lar poor vich has enough to make 'em comfor' ble and tidy in their vay ; but ven a poor man is poor, vy he's werry poor indeed, cos he can't get no wittles ; and, as 'appiness vont stay vere there's no vidttles, the whole p'int dissolves jist to this, that the rich rich is 'appier than the poor rich, mind yer, — and the rich poor is 'appier than the werry poor poor, vich ain't got no wittles to eat." " I understand you perfectly," said Joanna ; ^'^it's excessively clear, and precisely what I meant. I meant I'd rather be in a poor sphere of life, with sufficient to make me ex- cessively happy, than in a high sphere, roUing in riches, without having happiness with it.'^ '^ Thafs all reg'lar 1" exclaimed the venera- ble gentleman : ^^ ve're a-balancin' the werry same pole ! 'Appiness, in course, is the uniwersal thing, and consequentially ve're STANLEY THORN. 15 hallvaj^s a-yarnin^ arter that vich ve think vill percure it, and vich is nayther more nor less than money ; for, although vot you say is werry true, that there's no shop in natur^ vere ^appiness, like any other harticle, is ticketed and sold, there is thousands of shops vere it is, in a hindirect manner, to be bought ; as, for hinstance, if I vos werry ungry, and unger vos the on'y sore place I had about me, a crust of bread and cheese and a pint of arf-and-arf vood make me ^appy ; but, if I hadn't got no money to buy that bread and cheese and arf-and-arf, I shood be werry onappy indeed. So, you see, it hall depends upon vether you can git vot yer vont : if yer can, in course yer 'appy : if yer can't, in course you ain't. For hin- stance, now I vont a vife. If I could get one — a reg'lar good un — I should then be all right ; but as I can't, 'ow can I be happy ?" Joanna blushed deeply as she observed, with a most expressive smile, " Now, Mr. Joseph, you are joking." " Not a bit," rejoined the venerable gentle- man : " no, upon my honer." 16 STANLEY THORX. ^' Did you ever try ?" " Vy, I can't sconscientiously say I ever did/' "Then how can you know? You cannot know until you try." " But I'm gettin' rayther a hold feller now^ yer know, inclinin', as the poet says, ' into the wale of ears' ; so that nobody '11 'ave me." "Nobody would have you !'' echoed Joanna, with an expression of playful incredulity. " Veil, who vood now ? That's the i^'int at hissue. Vood you ?" The ardent and affectionate heart of Joanna now violently throbbed ; but, as she felt it to be her duty to blush and remain silent, she made no reply. " Veil, p'raps," continued the venerable gentleman, as Joanna glanced most expressively at him, — " p'raps I put the p'int rayther too close, as yer werry perliteness vont let you say no." " Oh ! it isn't for that," observed Joanna, very tremulously. " Veil, then, I'll tell you vot I'll do vith you. STANLEY THORN. Ij Come, now, 1^11 bet you a pair of gloves that you can't, sconscientiously, mind yer, say yes." " What a funny man you are '/' said Joanna. " It vood, I know, be a robbery. I know I shood vin." " Do you think so ?" " Safe ! Come, I '11 make it two to one, — there, and put the money j^down : they shall be arf-crowners, double-stitched Frenchmen. Vill you take them ere hodds ?" " You 'd lose/' said Joanna, with archness, — " you 'd be certain to lose." ^^ I don't think it, nor von't till I have lost. Now, then, vill you bet ?" " Why really ! — Mr. Joseph! — I never knew! — it 's such a very droll way of doing busi- ness !" " Vot 's the hodds, so that business is done ?" '^ But indeed — depend upon it — you M lose." '^ Werry well. If I do, I shall have to stand the Frenchmen, that 's all. Come, put the money down, — or I '11 trust yer. Now, then," 18 STANLEY THORN. continued the venerable gentleman, kneeling upon the footstool beside her, and placing his ear quite close to her lips, " come, visper, and then nayther the kittles nor the sarcepans vont ear. Now mark ! Vood you 'ave me }'* The venerable gentleman patiently paused some considerable time for a reply; but at length Joanna did sigh and say " Now — real- ly !^' '^ Only visper the word 1^' " Upon my conscience I feel so flustrated ; indeed so excessively confused, that I cannot for the life of me.'^ " Oh, but come — now then — vonce more. Vood you ave me }" With a faltering voice, and a fluttering heart, the gentle creature, in a tone which scarcely violated silence, said — " Yes.'' ^' You vood 1^^ exclaimed the venerable gen- tleman, — " sconscientiously 1" He drew back a trifle ; and, having gazed in a state of rapture at her lustrous eyes for a moment, threw his arm round her beautiful swan-like neck and clandestinely kissed her. STANLEY THORN. 19 *^ Nay, you wicked man/' said the blushing Joanna, " that 's excessively naughty/' " Veil, give it me back ! If you don't like to 'ave it, return it to the lips from vence it came." " No, that I am sure I ^11 not do." " Oh, nonsence !" cried the venerable gen- tleman, throwing his arm again round her elegant neck, " I must test your sinceri- ty r " Don't, Mr. Joseph : you '11 rumple my collar : indeed, Mr. Joseph, indeed, indeed you will!" Joanna struggled very correctly; but the venerable gentleman's ardour increased; and, just as he had succeeded in drawing her sweet lips to his. Bob, who had entered the kit- chen during the struggle unperceived, cried " Hemr Had there been a trap-door beneath the gentle Joanna, through which she could at once have disappeared, her disappearance would certainly have been instantaneous, she 20 STANLEY THORN. felt at the moment so dreadfully alarmed ; but as there happened to be no such a piece of theatrical machinery near her, she summoned all her courage, and turning promptly to Bob, said, " Isn't it too bad, Robert ? Here, just because I happen to have won five shillings of Mr. Joseph, he vows he '11 have a kiss, which is very unfair, Robert, isn^t it now 7" Bob looked at her fiercely, and said in an- swer to this strong appeal, " It ain't nothing to me." He also looked fiercely at his ve- nerable friend, and added, " I 'm a-intrud- ing/' These indeed were very cutting observations, and they had a very powerful effect. The lovers wished he had been at that moment drinking with Pharaoh and all his host; but as they gave no expression to that wish, he gloomily seated himself near the fire, and looked into it with a most ferocious aspect. As the venerable gentleman could not of course feel exactly comfortable then, he soon prepared to depart: he took Bob's passive hand. STANLEY THORN. 21 and having bade him good night, Joanna saw him to the door, where he kissed her again, and, singularly enough, she returned it then without any struggling at all. 22 STANLEY THORN. CHAPTER II. THE PETITION ; ITS PROGRESS AND RESULT. Stanley had been nearly a fortnight in the House without having on any occasion risen to . speak. During that time he had heard many excellent speeches^ and many more which, although delivered in an execrable style, read and told well in the papers. His ambition had therefore been constantly strengthened, and as most men, who feel that they possess the power to shine in the particular circle in which they move, are desirous of cultivating those accomplishments, whatever they may be, by which applause is obtained in that circle^ it is not singular that he, possessing the ne- cessary confidence, panted to distinguish him- STANLEY THORN. 23 self in that centre from which celebrity radiates throughout the world. Having studied one important subject deep- ly, and made himself conversant with all its ramifications, he went down to the House on the fourteenth day of his being a member, with the view of startling the nerves of all par- ties by the development of what he had in him. Previously, however, to the commence- ment of the debate in which he intended to take a conspicuous part, an honourable mem- ber on the opposite side presented a petition against his return ! At the moment Stanley could, with great pleasure, have kicked him. He felt in a rage with that man. He might have been, for aught he knew or cared, a virtuous person ; but as he returned to his seat with a calm but triumphant smile, having performed what he conceived to be his duty, — Stanley looked at him ! — in one word, he certainly would have knocked him down, if the forms .of the House had allowed it. It is, perhaps, amazing that the strongest 24 STANLEY THORN. minds are capable of being upset in an instant. A man may have a perfect command over his features ; he may have an equally perfect com- mand over his nerves ; but he cannot have a perfect command, nor anything like a perfect command, over his mind. He may be able to stand and walk erect; he may be able to main- tain the steadiness of his eye and the firmness of his voice ; he may be able to suppress every show of emotion, but he cannot suppress the emotion itself. He may have in full bloom what is technically termed ^' moral courage,'^ — for technical the terra may be said to be, see- ing that physical courage is hard to be defined ; — he may be extremely calm and collected; he may conceal effectually his feelings from others, but from himself they will not be con- cealed. Within his own breast they are in full operation : their influence may rack him, al- though the effect be unseen ; and precisely thus stood Stanley. He scorned to betray his feel- ings when the hateful petition was presented, but they were acute notwithstanding : indeed, so acute that they prompted him to withhold STANLEY THORN. 25 hat brilliant speech with which he intended to astonish the House. The thing came upon him so unexpectedly, he was not prepared for the blow. He knew of course that the op- posing party had been zealous in their efforts to get up a petition, but he had been led by his agents to believe that those efforts had utterly failed ; when, however, he actually saw the unblest document, he could no longer lay the flattering unction to his soul which those agents had been firom the first prescribing. " I have been grossly deceived,^' said he, ad- dressing Sir William, who sat by his side. '^ Those fellows assured me that the idea of a petition was, under the circumstances, absurd.^' " Oh, it may come to nothing now,^^ re- turned the Baronet. " This is the last day on which it could be presented. The prosecution of a petition does not of necessity follow its presentation. The chances are that it will yet be abandoned.^' " I fear not,^^ said Stanley. ^' Why fear V' " Because the grounds upon which they VOL. III. c 26 STANLEY THORN. stand are too tenable to justify a hope that the thing will be relinquished.'^ " The grounds !^^ exclaimed Sir WiUiam. '' The grounds have little indeed to do with the matter. It depends upon the committee. If you get a majority, — and, of course, we must have a whip for it, — you are safe : you need not care then a single straw about the grounds. '' Stanley appreciated this remark very high- ly. He knew that, although in strictly barba- rous states the system of trying the merits of petitions by a directly responsible tribunal might obtain, it would be in a country so eii- lightened as this repudiated, not only as ridi- culous but dangerous, inasmuch as the prac- tice established was of such surpassing excel- lence that it rendered the operation of party bias and factious influence almost impossible, and particularly in cases in which parties are so nicely balanced that the loss of a vote on either side is of very great importance : he knew also that every member was at that happy period an honourable man, and so strictly pure in principle that he w^ould rather see his own STANLEY THORN. 2? party go to the dogs than sacrifice or even slightly tamper with his conscience : he more- over knew that^ albeit certain signally uncivi- lized persons had attempted to upset the just and most salutary system established, their attempts had utterly and of course most de- servedly failed ; still, with all this knowledge, he felt apprehensive that, whether he obtained a majority or not, his seat would be lost, and was therefore at first indisposed to defend it. Sir William, however, powerfully painted to iiim the almost unprecedented folly of yielding, and as most men are guided by the opinions of others — if even they conceive their own judg- ment to be superior — provided always that their vanity is flattered, so Stanley, although he knew that the allegations contained in the petition were true, and that therefore, under the system proposed by the unconstitutional innovators referred to, he would have had no chance at all of retaining his seat, — surrendered his 9wn judgment to that of Sir William, in c 2 28 STANLEY THORN. the full and lively hope of being able to whip in a just and one-sided committee. This hope, however, although it sustained him for a time, was not realised. The com- mittee was moved for ; the whip was used on oth sides with great effect, and the result was seven to four against him. The great point of Sir William was thus at once destroyed, and Stanley again felt disposed to retire ; but Sir WilUam, knowing well what the expenses of defending a seat under the circumstances usu- ally were, and being still sincerely anxious to reduce him to a state of destitution, shifted his ground, and not only ridiculed the idea of giving in, but contended for self- conviction in such a case being comparable only with suicide ; and in this he was ably seconded by the Widow. '^ It would be, you know, such an extremely shocking thing,^' said that lady, when her opi- nion of the matter had been demanded ; " it would be absolutely dreadful — dear me, it would be an eternal disgrace — to retire from STANLEY THORN. 29 the field without a struggle, you know, my dear!" " Mother,'' said Stanley, " look at the ex- pense/' " A fig for the expense, my love ! we are not poor ! I look at the thing in the abstract !" " You do, without reference to the cost. Look at that in the abstract 1 I confess that I have an imperfect knowledge of the expense of these things ; but I know it to be something very very considerable." " Well, my love ! let it be considerable. Thank Heaven we are not beggars ! But we are not beaten yet ! Where is your philosophy, my dear ? Should we make ourselves wretched to-day because it happens to be possible for us to be wretched to-morrow ? Oh, dear me no ! defend the seat by all means." '^ Mother," rejoined Stanley, " you know me, I think, too well to believe that I would not do so if I saw the slightest prospect of success." " My dearest boy, I know that you would not ; I am perfectly certain of that ; but then, although you cannot see this prospect, others 30 STANLEY THORN. can ! Good gracious me ! what does Sir Wil- liam say ? — does he not say that these things are all a lottery V " But how can we reasonably hope to suc- ceed, when we know nearly all with which we are charged to be true }'' " True ! — my dear ! Has not Sir William again and again said, that a thousand things may be true which cannot be proved }'' " I have of course no inclination to resign, which you know : if I conceived it to be pro- bable that my seat could be retained, I would defend it with all the means in my power ; but as the case stands at present I cannot perceive a chance/^ " Oh, there are a thousand chances; rely on it, my love, there are ten thousand chances, although you do not perceive them. Besides, if even the worst should come to the worst, we are surely, my love, as capable of bearing our share of the expenses as the Swansdown faction are of bearing theirs ?' " But that may not be the worst. Suppose we are fixed with all the costs r'^ " Oh, but you know, Sir WiUiam says that STANLEY THORN. 31 an instance of that kind has not occurred within his recollection ?' " But the thing is not impossible : it may occur in our case, and if it should, can it be borne without sensibly affecting your for- tune r " Of course ! Dear me, my love, what a ridiculous question !^* '' Oh, I know nothing about your affairs : you have always most studiously kept them from me 1" '^ Fear nothing on that score; by all means oppose this horrible petition." " Very w^ell : but understand, that if opposed at all it must be opposed with spirit ; no ex- pense must be spared; there must be no stopping short ; the thing once begun must be carried on boldly to the end !'* " That is precisely my feeling. Never mind the expense ; do not dream about that. Have everything that may be deemed essential to success. We shall beat them ! I am sure that we shall beat them. It would be such a truly dreadful thing, you know, my love, to give up all without an effort to retain it. It 32 STANLEY THORN. would look so cowardly and would be so dis- graceful, as Sir William says.' I should go mad ! I am sure of it. I never could be happy again. Therefore, oppose them, my love, by all means ; oppose them with all your power. Engage the highest talent available. Stanley, my dearest love ! let me prevail upon you : will you oppose them ?'^ Stanley consented. He had of course no desire to relinquish his seat : he never had ; but knowing well that his election must have qost something very considerable, althoug the amount had been concealed from him, he felt, being ignorant of the Widow's resources, that the expense of opposing the petition — if the opposition should be reported " frivolous and vexatious," might involve them all in ruin: When, however, he heard that the worst could be borne without any material or permanent injury, he resolved to go on with the opposi- tion boldly : he would not yield an inch ; he defied them to prove their allegations, although he knew them to be true, declaring that his seat should be defended till the last. The battle then commenced. The opening speeches STANLEY THORN. 33 were made. Coach-loads ^ of witnesses were brought up to town, and among them Stanley reeognised many, whom, during the election, he had treated with the utmost kindness and liberality. On ascertaining the quarters of these people, he sent an agent to remonstrate with them ; but they viewed the affair as a mere matter of business declaring that they had no private feeling either way; that the franchise was a property of which they had a clear and indisputable right to make the most, that every contingency increased its value, and that if Stanley wanted them, why he might have them even then. The dgent spoke of gratitude, of course, and enlarged on its brightness and beauty; and they agreed with him; they thought it an excellent thing, and they said so, and contended that its value should be com- mensurate with its excellence, and at the same time declared that they had plenty to sell, and should be glad to dispose of their whole stock at a price. As, however, it was deemed inex- pedient under the circumstances to purchase this inestimable commodity of them — the in- c 3 34 STANLEY THORN. vestment not being quite safe — there was no business done ; the agent left them in posses- sion of their gratitude, which, if all had been taken at their own valuation, would have made a man wealthy indeed. There was, however, another class of wit- nesses of a far more formidable character, in- asmuch.^as they were actuated by feelings of revenge, and had a certain amount of social respectability about them which imparted a nominal purity to their testimony, and thereby gave it an additional weight. These were the tradesmen whom the chairman of Stanley's committee had insulted by his shabby and un- constitutional refusal to meet their prescriptive demands. The rest of the witnesses against him cared nothing about the result ; they had no vindictive feeling to gratify; their object was to make all the money they coald, and it mattered not a straw to them which party tri- umphed ; but these men had set their noble souls upon his defeat ; they had firmly resolved to do all in their power to ensure his pohtical destruction; he had robbed them — for it is STANLEY THORN. 35 a real robbery, when the thing is properly looked atj to refuse to pay respectable men what is regular — and, therefore, they had one and all determined to stick at nothing which could tend to promote the accomplishment of the just and legitimate object in view. The committee sat daily ; but their progress was but slow. The counsel on both sides dis- played all the eloquence, zeal, and ingenuity they had in them, and bullied each other with admirable ferocity. On one point, however, they seemed to be agreed, and that was to make the thing last as long as possible. It seldom indeed happens in ordinary cases, that opposing counsel agree at all; but it is an ex- traordinary fact, that in this case they were on that great point perfectly unanimous. During the examination of witnesses an objection was started at every third question with the utmost regularity and tact, and the speeches which succeeded those objections respectively were remarkable as well for their length as for the sound deliberation with which they were de- livered. 36 STANLEY THOR?^. After a week or two the honourable members of the committee became naturally tired of the business ; but the witnesses in the aggregate were by no means impatient : they cared not how long the thing lasted ; it met their views precisely ; nothing on earth could have suited them better; they were not only living like Aldermen in town, but really beginning to get into flesh. At length, when all concerned save counsel and these philosophic witnesses, were weary, the labours of the committee were brought to an end, and the result was, that they reported the opposition to the petition '^frivolous and veooatioiis,'' and thus fixed Stanley with the whole of the costs, which were enormous I This to him and his immediate friends was indeed a heavy blow -, but poor Amelia felt it most deeply. Her anguish was poignant in the extreme, and while she tried to soothe her Stanley, whose high hopes had thus been blasted, she would hang upon his neck and sob as if her heart were breaking. To Sir William and his associates, Stanley /y arj/yy" STANLEY THORN. 37 wished it to appear that he was comparatively indifferent about the matter, but when in the presence of the Widow alone, his rage could not be calmed. " You see/' he exclaimed, when the result became known, '^you see the position to which you have reduced me ?' '' I, my love ?'* *^ Yes, mother, you !'* " Gracious heavens ! what can you mean V " Did you not prompt me to pursue this mad course ? Should I have opposed this in- fernal petition had it not been for you ?^' *^ My love ! you know that I advised you for the best !'' '^ You advised me for the worst ! You itnagined, I suppose, that it would tame me. I was a fool to follow your advice ; a wretched, a consummate fool P' " Stanley ! Stanley !" exclaimed the Widow, bursting into tears, as he fiercely paced the room. " Oh ! this is cruel — very cruel ! You ought not to be unkind, indeed, indeed, you 38 STANLEY THORN. ought not to afflict me thus ! You should consider that 1 have feelings, Stanley." " Mother, you do not consider that / have feelings !^' ^^ I do : I do, indeed ! I know that my poor boy must feel it most deeply : but do not, pray do not, add gall to this calamity; do not increase our affliction by attributing motives which you must know could never have ac- tuated me. But, my dearest love, can we not appeal }" " Appeal ! No, there is no appeal." " But the decision was corrupt, my love ; grossly corrupt. The committee were guided by factious views solely, and while the counsel against us were demons, our own counsel ought to be ashamed of themselves for having suffered the fiends to go on so. Now, under these cir- cumstances, you know, my love, it strikes me—" " Again I tell you, there is no appeal ! And if there were ; if even I could appeal, I would not. I know that these monstrous expenses STANLEY THORN. 39 must materially affect our fortunes. I am sure of it, quite sure, although you conceal the fact from me/' " They are indeed heavy; very heavy in- deed.'^ " You admit, then/* demanded Stanley fiercely, " you admit that they have involved us?" " No, my love ; no, no ; they have not in- volved us. I said that they were heavy ! — I merely said that. But come, my love, all will be well. Come, be calm and kind ; you are my only joy; I cannot be happy if you are not kind.'* The Widow again burst into tears and buried her face in his bosom. She knew that that which Stanley suspected was true ; she was conscious that these enormous costs, imme- diately following the expenses of the election, had involved her, and although she had yet but an imperfect knowledge of the extent, she knew well, that her position would be sensibly affected. And Sir Vv'illiam knew it too, and was glad. 40 STANLEY THORN. The destruction of Amelia's virtue being his object, he now felt more than ever sure that that object would, at no remote period, be at- tained. STANLEY THORN. 41 CHAPTER IIL IN WHICH A HIGHLY-IMPORTANT SECRET IS DISCLOSED. Notwithstanding the earnest anxiety of the Widow to disguise the real state of the case, her true position soon appeared. Persons may with success conceal their thoughts, their emotions, or even their wealth ; but their poverty will not be concealed : it will out ; it will make itself manifest ; the more energetic may be the efforts to keep it from view, the more boldly will it rear its hateful head to proclaim its existence to the world. If the Widow, when she found herself em- barrassed had immediately retrenched, all would have been so far well as that she might have been able, with economy, to maintain some- 42 STANLEY THORN. thing bearing the semblance of her customary- style ; but as, instead of acting promptly upon the principle of retrenchment, she not only lived as before, but incurred those additional expenses which are invariably consequent on an ardent desire to preserve a reputation for wealth when the means have departed, the necessity in her case for selling out became so constant that in a short time she possessed but little stock, indeed, to sell. This she concealed as long as possible from Stanley. She trembled at the thought of its becoming known to him ; the idea was, in her judgment, dreadful. " Oh V she would exclaim in tones of agony, when alone, " what on earth would he say he if knew it ! He must not be told : he would go raving mad ! and yet, how can I now keep it from him ? What am I to do ? How — how can I act ? I cannot— I dare not go on longer thus : he will be reduced to beggary ! Oh ! my poor boy ! It is terrible — very, very terrible ! The thouirht of it will drive me to distraction !'^ STANLEY THORN. 43 But even this was not all. Had Stanley- alone been concerned in the impending dis- closure, it might have been borne: nay, she would then have summoned sufficient courage to impart the dreadful secret to him at once, for her emDai.'^-ssments were daily becoming deeper and deeper still ; but the thought of what Sir William v/ould say, of what he would think of it, and how he would act, tortured her so cruelly that, although in his presence she wore a constant smile, and expressed the highest pleasure, her heart was in reality full of affliction. And oh ! how she then sighed and panted to hear him propose 1 She had been for many months in the liveliest anticipation of being blessed by receiving a proposal in due form, ^ and yet, albeit in her view, the question had been twenty times all but put, it had never been proposed with sufficient distinctness to warrant a formal consent. This was very dis- tressing : it was indeed very. If he had but proposed to her then, — all might have been well, — all, at least, might have been without 44 STANLEY THORN. sorrow endured ; but, although he still visited with all his wonted constancy, although he still conversed with his usual warmth and eloquence, she cpuld not tempt him to come to the point. At length, having waited for this important question until she began to despair, her diffi- culties became too palpable to escape even the tardy observation of Stanley. He had pre- viously entertained suspicions on the subject ; but, as he hated to enter into matters of a pecuniary character, those suspicions had not taken root : indeed could he have got from time to time the sums of money he required, things might have gone on and on for years, without his troubling himself to give the matter another thought. When, however, he experienced a difficulty in getting what he wanted, his previous suspicions were re- awakened, and he resolved to have them either removed or confirmed. '' Mother," said he, " yesterday I asked you for money. You put me off : you were anxious not to draw too close : I should have STANLEY THORN. 45 som3 soon ; in a day or so ; to-morrow, per- haps ! Why is this ? Why have you not plenty at your bankers ? The time is come, mother, when I cannot but deem it necessary that I hould know the cause." The widow, without answering, burst into tears. " Why, what is the meaning of this ?'^ de- manded Stanley, having regarded her intently for a moment. " There is something — some- thing which you have hitherto concealed, but which must be concealed from me no longer.** " My poor boy !" sobbed the widow. " The dreadful secret must be told ! I have struggled — Heaven knows how I have struggled — to keep it from you.'^ " What is it ?" cried Stanley, with impatience. " You will never be able to bear it : I am sure you never will.'* W- " Whatever it be, mother, let me know at once, that I may at once guard against its effect.'* *^ Those dreadful expenses^ my Stanley ! — those terrible expenses !'* 46 STANLEY THORN. r' *^ Have ruined us \" " No — no — no — no — ! • not ruined — oh ! Heaven forbid 1" " What am I to understand, then ?" cried Stanley. " If they have not ruined us, what have they done }'' " So embarrassed us, my Stanley, that you must — oh, how it afflicts me to tell you ! — you must, at least for a time, manage to live upon the estate w^hich was purchased for your quali- fication." '' Impossible ! How can I live on a pitiful three or four hundred a ^^ear ? How can I entertain* those friends whom I have been in the habit of entertaining ? how can I meet them ? how can I even show my face ? Mo- ther !"— " Stanley, do not be rash : pray do not be impetuous ! You will break my heart ! indeed, my love, indeed it was all done for you. Come, come ! You will be calm, dear Stanley ? You will be calm ? You will not make this wound deeper than it is, or cause it to rankle, dear y STANLEY THORN. 4/ Stanley ? Heaven knows I would have given worlds if this dreadful disclosure could by any earthly means have been avoided/^ " Why did you not tell me before ? Why buoy me up with the hope — nay with the abso- lute belief that our fortunes had not been mate- rially affected ? Why did you not explain to me at once that we were ruined, beggared, com- paratively beggared !" " I dared not ; indeed, my love, I dared not do it. I dreaded nothing on earth more. But, believe me, dear, I ^11 make every sacrifice in my power to promote your happiness still." " Sacrifice ! What sacrifice ha^e you now the power to make }" " Fll reduce my establishment ; Pll put down my carriage ; I'll do anything in the world to diminish my expenditure ; indeed, dear, I will ; I'll live retired — quite retired. I shall be happy — I feel I shall be happy — very happy, if you are but so." " Don^t talk to me of happiness, mother. How can you, or I, or any one be happy when fallen ? The idea is monstrous ! You now 48 STANLEY THORN. perceive the consequence, I hope, of endea- vouring to conceal everything from me/^ " Believe me, dear Stanley, I did all for the best/' '^ But do you think that if I had known what I ought to have known, I would have opposed that petition ? Do you think that I would have been guilty of an act of madness so palpable, so glaring ? Why was the thing kept from me?" " My love, you know that I am at all times unwilling to annoy you. You know that if it were possible to prevent it, I would not have your mind distressed for the world." '' Well !" cried Stanley, still pacing the room with violence. " The thing is done. The die is cast. . W^e are ruined. Now, I sup- pose, 1 may know something of your affairs l^' '* My dear Stanley, all shall be explained." " I insist upon having all explained." ^^ You shall have it, my dear : yes, believe me, you shall. But, although very terrible, it is not so bad as you imagine — it is not, in- deed." STANLEY THORN. 49 " I do not imagine that we are reduced to actual destitution; but I do imagine that henceforth our position will be sufficiently- mean to cause society to shun us. I can't live on three or four hundred a year." " I know — I know you cannot; nor will there be any necessity for you to endeavour to do so : I feel perfectly sure that there will not. No — no, my dear, things may yet be better than you suppose — much better. Let us hope for the best. I am sure I do not know myself yet how we stand. But my affairs shall be immediately adjusted — yes, Pll have them all investigated properly, and at once ; and then we shall see, dear Stanley — we shall see.^' Stanley was sullenly silent. A dreary pros- pect opened to his view. And in the whole social scale, there is, perhaps, no position so annoying, so perpetually painful, or so preg- nant with temptation to dishonour, as that of a young and ardent spirit, who — being without influential family connections, and, at the same time, without a profession — finds himself sud- VOL. Ill, D 50 STANLEY THORN. denly thrown upon his own resources, or placed below the sphere — be that sphere what it may — in which he had theretofore moved. The uncontrollable nature of circumstances renders the folly — it may be termed, the thoughtless cruelty — of teaching young men to depend solely upon the wealth of relatives, instead of giving them a profession upon which to fall back in case of need, so conspicuous, that it is, in truth, amazing, when reverses of fortune so constantly occur, that the paltry pride of parents, on this great point, should be suffered to supersede their manifest duty. This darkly appeared to Stanley then ; and the more darkly, seeing that he had no direct knowledge of the position to which he had been reduced ; but the widow, being far more sanguine, scarcely gave this a thought : her strongest apprehension was that of losing Sir William ; it was that which, in reality, afflicted her most, and, being almost unable to endure the thought of the discontinuance of his visits, she would have gone on as usual, in the lively anticipation of a formal proposal being made. STANLEY THORN. 51 had not Stanley, being impatient to know the worst, insisted upon an immediate investigation of affairs, which accordingly commenced with- out further delay. "fen.of.a.«o. 52 STANLEY THORN. CHAPTER IV. SHOWS HOW A RECONCILIATION TOOK PLACE BETWEEN BOB AND HIS VENERABLE FRIEND. When the reduction of an establishment is about to take place, and more especially if the establishment be an old one, whatever may be the tact with which it is managed, whatever may be the secrecy with which you proceed, it is perfectly sure to be generally known : indeed, any attempt at secrecy does but increase the evil, inasmuch as it establishes a mystery, and .mysteries are invariably pregnant with conjec- tures, which are certain to make the thing worse than it is. Now this is, of course, a remarkable fact, and one, moreover, ascril^able solely to one's utter inability to get rid of servants, under the STANLEY THORN. 53 circumstances, with any degree of quietude or comfort. When these useful people have long been in the habit of giving " good satisfaction," they well know that they would not be dis- charged without a cause, and you cannot — no act of caprice can — deprive them of the addi- tional knowledge of whether their conduct, in reality, constitutes that cause or not. If it do, why there, of course, is an end of the matter ; but if it do not, they watch events narrowly, and if none be engaged in their places, they see how it is, and never fail to report what they see ; in fact, they deem it their duty to do so in their own justification, and that they ought to be justified, is strictly correct. Now in this particular case, the afflicted widow no sooner found it to be necessary for her to relinquish her carriage, and in conse- quence, to discharge her old coachman, and several other servants, than the news flew with such unexampled rapidity, that on the evening of the memorable day in which the servants had notice. Bob received the following letter from his venerable friend : 54 STANLEY THORN. Genal Johnsones Stables. " Deer robered, " allrow i aint Seed nothink on yu fore A werry konsidderbell peerid off thyme sirkum- stanhalls Is cum toe mi nollege witch korses Me fore to feel werry fiUisofFocle about yu kors hive A inkellinashun fore toe think frum wot hive eared yule bee throwed out off plaice if so and yule kum and pig we me hit sharnt kost yer a apney for nothink wile yer out and I des say i kan get yu into somethink as soon As i kan for beein out is onkommon heckspensyve an noboddy dont git fat at It speshly as thymes is werry rotten but wy Dont yu Do me the onner off a korl hay kum there Aint no malliss kum an letts ave a Drain toogether As we yoused korse yu hare a goodd sort an i never took yu fore nothink ellse so No more at pres- sent from yure Werry pertickeller frend Joseph Goggles.'^ The immediate effect of this generous and gentlemanly epistle was to throw the whole of Bob's mental faculties into a state of confusion. STANLEY THORN, 55 He read it again and again, with a view to understand not only the words, but the feelings by which they were prompted. It was the first formal letter he had ever received, and while it tended to raise him in his ovvn estimation as a person of importance, it amazed him, for he had really entertained no suspicion of that which the venerable gentleman had intimated with so much distinctness. What could be the meaning of it ? What had he done ? He was sure that he had been particularly attentive of late. Besides, he had heard no complaint. Had any pernicious person succeeded in secretly subverting his fair reputation? Could it be possible ? As he sat in silent solitude, upon half a truss of hay, in the stall which invariably formed his studio, he weighed with the utmost nicety, the bearings of each conjecture as it arose ; but having been thus engaged for some time, with- out being able to arrive at any really satisfac- tory conclusion, he started up with the full determination to ascertain what it meant, from the lips of his venerable friend. It is true, very true, that in saluting Joanna, 56 STANLEY THORN'. the venerable gentleman had annoyed him, and yet, on serious reflection, why should he feel annoyed ? What was Joanna to him ? She had been kind, she had been friendly, she had made suet dumplings exclusively for him, and had prepared hot suppers al- most every night during his master's parlia- mentary career, which was certainly very affectionate ; but then, had he ever proposed to Joanna ? Had he ever even led her to believe that he wished to propose ? Nay, had he that wish ? Decidedly not ! at least, not that he knew of. Why then should he feel thus an- noyed ? He had no right to entertain any such feeling. He would be annoyed no longer ! He made up his mind at once not to be an- noyed, and having done so, he started off" to have this deep mystery solved. On reaching the General's stables, he beheld in one corner, his venerable friend, sitting stu- diously upon a basket, duly turned upside down, with a pen in his right hand, and the forefinger of his left upon his temple, labouring to turn a bright conception into shape, with an expression of the most intense thought. STANLEY THORN. 5/ The very instant, however, he became conscious of Bob's presence, he reUnquished his pen, and greeted him in his usual affectionate style, by striking a pugilistic attitude, of a character ex- tremely scientific and picturesque. Having squared at each other with great ability for some time, they simultaneously seized each other's hand, which they shook with remarkable fierceness and affection ; and when these, and other equally indispensable preliminaries had been, to their mutual satisfac- tion accomplished, the venerable gentleman broke silence by expressing, with all his cha- racteristic eloquence, the unexampled gladness of his heart. " But Bobby, my Briton," he added, " wot's the matter at ween us ? Friends vich is friends, shood never be onfriendly !" " Pm not unfriendly 1'^ said Bob. ^^ There you are ! the hold business hover agin ! the sum totle mounts ony to a misonderstandin, and cert'ny misonderstan- din's is the rummest things alive. Vy, wot dVer think the hold General did the D 3 58 STANLEY THORN. other day, now ? I'll tell yer : two friends of hisn had a sort of a misonderstandin^ about nothink : they wos werry cold, and coodn't ha' told vy, if they'd bin arst. Werry well, w^ot does he do, but he goes to the basket, and picks out their cards, and then sends 'em to each other's houses as if they wos sent by theirselves ! Wot wos the scon sequence ? Vy they at once returned wot they both took to be the compliment, boney fido, and as each flat- tered hisself that the other had made the fust adwances, and wos willin' for to meet him arf vay, they met, in course, for all the vorld as if nothink had happened, and a reconcilementa- tion took place/^ " Well, that wasn't a bad move, mind yer,^' said Bob, ^' It wos hexcellent, cos they on'y wanted for to be brought together to be all right agin. And that's the case with all these here mis- onderstandin's atween friends. But it's all reg'lar now atween us ? Eh ? Give us yer 'and ! Let's go over to the tap, and say nothink more about it." STANLEY THORN. 59 To the tap they accordingly went, and after touching slightly upon the state of the nation, and two or three important political points which were just then at issue. Bob being im- patient to have explained to him the various intimations containe d in the venerable gentle- man's epistle, produced that mysterious docu- ment, and having read it with due emphasis, begged to know what it all meant. "Wot does it mean! '^ cried the venerable gentleman, elevating his eyebrows in a state of amazement. " Wot ain't you then seed your old missus's coachman ?" " No," repHed Bob, " not lately.'^ " Veil, but do you mean to say you don't know there's a screw werry loose ?" " Haven't heard nothing of it.^' " Veil, send I may live ! Vy, the 'stablish- ment's going to be broke up reg'lar 1" " You don't mean that T' " But I do, and nothink but ! Coachman was ere last night as ever wos, to explain the ole business, and the peticklers cert'ny looks werry queer. He's got vornin'; they've 60 STANLEY THORN. almost hall on ^em got vornin/ and from wot I can learn things is goin' hall to smash 1^' '^ You don't say so V cried Bob, whose countenance developed the utmost astonish- ment. " You stagger me regular. I thought they had a mint." " And so they had ; but coachman tells me thish ere parleymentry business ^as kicked it all down.'^ " Ar, I thought they was going too fast.^' " And so did I/^ rejoined the venerable gentleman ; and it really is amazing how prone men in general are to anticipate things when they have actually taken place, and how fully their conjectures then are borne out by facts. " It struck me frequent," he continued, " that they never cood stand them air evey expenses. But I'm werry sorry for it ; cos, from what I 'ear, your master's got nothink but wot he ^as from the old lady ; so if she goes, he must go vith her." " Safe 1" returned Bob. ^' And it hurts my sentiments very acute, ^cause he is a trump, and there can^t be two opinions about it. STANLEY THORN. 61 But what I look at most is missis, 'cause ' she is a regular good un, and I*d go to the bottom of the sea to serve her. What must her feelinsrs be, mind you, eh ? I don^t think she knows a bit about it as yet ; but when she comes for to be told, eh ? Safe to break her heart." " I don' know," said the venerable gentle* man. " Vimmin genelly bears these rewerses much better than men. And it likevise makes 'em more dewoted. I've seen it frequent. Ven all goes on prosperous, they've plenty of scope to make theirselves onhappy about nothink, and feels theirselves at liberty to pitch into their husbands, cos, as they don't vont for nothink, they don' know wot they vont ; but on'y let their husbands have a rewerse, and they're at once, all affection. Vot is it they voodn't do then if they cood ! And if they can't get 'em over it, they'll kiss 'em, and make it seem better than it is, and try to persuade 'em not to mind it, and get 'em to bear up against it like men. That's the pint ! Vimmin is rum swells to deal with." 62 STANLEY THORN. " I agree with you there,'^ rejoined Bob. " But I say ! ain't your principles on this here particular p'int a leetle changed^ eh ? Didn't you used to tell me^ that when things went wrong, they'd pitch into you the more ?" " Ar/' replied the venerable gentleman, whom the question had slightly confused, " that's ven they're reg'lar hout an' hout "wdxens." Bob shook his head. He perceived at a glance the inconsistency of his venerable friend, and being anxious to know the extent to which his opinions upon the matter had changed, he took occasion to intimate gently that he had an idea that the views which he had once en- tertained on the subject of matrimony were not precisely those which he entertained then. " It strikes me forcible," he added, " that they're, in pint of fact, particularly different ; 'cause I, somehow or another, have a sort of a notion, that you and our cook is a managing of matters, do you know." At this moment the venerable gentleman STANLEY THORN. 6'3 blushed — ay, actually blushed ! — but on re- covering himself a trifle, he smiled, and said, " Vy, Bobby, vot makes you think so ?" '' 'Cause she's a continually sighing and talking about you, and looking arter the post- man, and receiving of letters, which is writ in a fis t wery simular to yourn.'^ Again the venerable gentleman looked ex- tremely red. He saw at once that, in sending a letter to Bob in an undisguised hand, he had not acted with his customary caution. " You write a decent stick, though,^' con- tinued Bob, playfully. " The i's is all dotted, and the hizzards is wery respectable.^^ ^^ I see," said the venerable gentleman, shak- ing his head with great significance, '*' I see I've let the cat out of the bag. But it ain^t of much odds, cos I don't 'spose I'm puttin' your nose out of j'int ?" " Not a bit of it ! Oh ! it ain't no odds to me, you know. Only all I look at is this, — . she's a cook, you know, and cooks is all war- mant, eh ? — don't you recollect ?" 64 STANLEY THORN. " And so they are,'^ returned the venerable gentleman, — " so they are, in common course of natur' -, but Joanna is one in fifty million ! That^s the p'int ! I'll be bound to say you don't find another sich a cook in a day's march P' " She's a good 'un of the sort/' observed Bob^ cavalierly. " A good un ! I believe yer. There's no mistake about her 1" " But however you come to be caught after all your experience, is a thing which gets quite over me. I can't at all understand it. \ deader mystery I never come across." " Vy, look ear," said the venerable gentle- man, with a philosophic aspect. " Did you ever 'appen to see an unexperienced young greyhound a-playing with a leveret, a-roUing of it over and over, and a-pawing it, and licking it, and not exactly knowin' vot to do with it ?" " Can't say I ever did." " Did yer ever see a kitten a-playing vith a mouse, a-purring and singing to it reg'lar, a- STANLEY THORN. 65 letting of it run, and springing arter it agin, vile the little onfort'nate wictim is arf dead vith fright ?'* " Yes, that I have seen." " Werry well, then, wot do they play vith 'em for ? Ain't it cos they know nothink about 'em r Ain't it cos they never tasted the blood of them there animals, and don't know wot it is ? Vy, in course. But let 'em jist valk their teeth into one, — let them have but one taste, and they're alvays then a-hankerin' and yarnin' arter 'em wiolent. And that's the case vith me. I never loved reg'lar afore : I never knowed wot it was to love ; but now that I've tasted it, and knows wot it is, and finds it nat'ral to like it, I carn't never be 'appy vith- out the object of that love, vich is her as I know loves me. That's the p'int." " Well," said Bob, " I hope she'll turn out a regular good un" " Safe to be a good un ! Safe to be 'appy ! She's the kindest and comfortablest creature in life. I never see her feller, and I've seed 66 STANLEY THORN. above a few on 'em in my time^ you know. She's cert'ny hout-an'-hout.^' " Well, all I can say, you know is, may she never be anything but. They do, mind you, sometimes turn out queer." " But you donH s'pose I've lived all these here 'ears for nothink ! No, no, Bobby ; hold birds ain't ketched vith chaff. I shood be blind if I couldn't tell wot a voman wos. I can see right clean through ^em in a hinstant. No — come, we ain' a-going to be done exactly arterall this 'ere experience_, nayther !'^ '^ Well, well," said Bob, '^ you ought to know a little about it.'^ ^' I flatter myself,^' returned his venerable friend, " I just do.'^ " Well, and when do you think about doing the trick." " Vy, that depends a little upon circum- stantials. If your 'stablishment's broke up, yer know, as veil as the old lady^s, vy, it von't be vuth vile for her to take another place." STANLEY THORN. 67 '' No more it won%" observed Bob. " But don't it strike you as very strange that I ain't heard nothing about it ?" " The most singularest thirig*aHve !" returned the venerable gentleman. " They ought^ at least, to 'ave named it, if they did nothink helse." *' But do you know, now, I don't think it '11 be so after all." The venerable gentleman admitted that such a thought as that might be entertained, but strongly advised him, nevertheless, to prepare. He then repeated those generous offers which his gentlemanly letter contained; and when Bob had acknowledged, in grateful terms, the friendly feeling by which those offers were characterised, they pressed each other's hands, had another pot, and parted. 68 STANLEY THORN. CHAPTER V. IN WHICH STANLEY RESOLVES TO RETRIEVE HIS FORTUNE. Although the news of the reduction of the widow^s establishment travelled fast from Bob's venerable friend to the GeneraFs cook, from the cook to the lady's maid, from the maid to Miss Johnson, and from that young lady to the General, both he and Captain JolifFe, whom he subsequently told, deemed it a point of too much delicacy to justify any direct inquiry into the matter. The first object of Stanley — when he found that all he had to depend upon was the estate, which yielded barely three hundred a-year — was to conceal the altered state of affairs from Amelia; and when he had taken steps to ac- STANLEY THORN. 69 complish this, at least for a time, he devoted all his energies with the view of retrieving their fortunes. But then how was this to be done ? Should he enter the army ? No ; that would not do. Should he endeavour to obtain some colonial appointment ? He had not the shghtest wish to leave England ; and even if he had, where was his political influence? He thought of a hundred things by which his position might be improved, but not one which was, under the circumstances, practicable. At length Sir William — who had never allowed a syllable having reference to these embarrassments to escape him — became ac- quainted with a project by which he fondly hoped that Stanley might be involved in utter ruin. At that time several men of high con- nections — one of whom was by courtesy an Earl — having lost on various occasions im- mense sums at play, and being experienced and highly accomplished gamesters, conceived the idea of taking a house themselves, and putting down sub rosa a bank of their own. 70 STANLEY THORN. This they fancied would be a most profitable speculation; and as the aid of Sir WiUiam, by whom they were all perfectly well known, had been solicited, he held it to be an ex- cellent opportunity for sinking the remnant of Stanley^s fortune, by inducing him to join them. He accordingly lost no time in com- municating with Stanley on the subject, but took especial care to jDroceed with the utmost caution. At first he mentioned it as a mere matter of news ; but when he found that Stanley caught at the project, he gradually entered into the most minute explanations, and made the success of the scheme appear certain. " Well," said Stanley, when the matter had been explained, " why don't you join them ?" ^^ Why, you see, I have at present so much on my hands, and the probabihty is that it would divert my attention from matters which require a deal of thought. Besides, you know, I'm not a very speculative man; and these things, to succeed, must be entered into boldly." STANLEY THORN. 71 " Of course nothing but strict honour is intended }'' " Why, the character of those who are engaged in the scheme would alone, one would think, be a sufficient guarantee against dis- honourable practices.'^ " Of course 1 But is it not singular that men of their character and standing in society- should descend to enter into a speculation of the kind ?^' " Why, the descent of itself is not very tremendous. The difference between playing against a bank and playing with one — except in so far as the profits are concerned — is but slight. They would not, of course, like it to be generally known that .they were engaged in a speculation of this sort ; nor would they, in fact, like it to be generally known that they frequented houses of that description at all ; but in the abstract it certainly is as honourable to put down the bank as it is to play against it.^* " It merely struck me at the moment as being rather singular.^' 72 STANLEY THORX. " And so it is. If it were usual, it would be thought nothing of/' " Well,'' said Stanley, " the idea is cer- tainly novel. I should really like to join them/' " I should recommend you not/' ^' Why ?'' inquired Stanley. " Merely because I think that it might occu- py too much of your time. Besides, Thorn, when you play, it is solely for pleasure : now their sole object is profit. There is another thing ; they have of late lost considerable sums of money, which they are resolved to regain, and it is moreover necessary that they should do so ; but you are not in that position." " Perhaps not/' rejoined Stanley, whom the reason assigned urged on the more. " But when Ave play, as you say, for pleasure, is not profit invariably the chief object we have in view ? Are not the pleasures of play derived from winning, coupled with the hope of winning more ? Are losses productive of pleasure ?" " It certainly is not very pleasurable to lose ; STANLEY THORN. 73 but that is an altogether different thing. Here we have a direct and well- organized speculation^ the object of the speculators being to regain a certain sum. That their object will be ac- complished there can be but little doubt ; but then look at the anxiety ! — what can repay them for that?" " The attainment of their object ! Now it appears to me to be the very kind of specu- lation into which I should like to enter.'' " Well, —but that which I look at is the necessity which exists in their case, and not in yours. Of course I'll introduce you with pleasure, and I am sure that they would like you to join them exceedingly; but if you do, you must expect to be annoyed — ^at least I know that the constant settlements, the divi- sion of the profits, and all that sort of thing, would annoy meP " Very likely. But I have not, you know, so much to attend to as you have, which makes all the difference. When shall I see them r " Oh ! we'll go when you please — this VOL. III. E 74 STANLEY THORN. evening, if you like ; but I should advise you, before we go, to think the matter over.^' " Yes ; that of course I'll do. Well, shall we say this evening ?" " Oh yes ! I'll call for you. At what hour ?" " You may as well dine with me, and then we can start from here direct." " Very well ; be it so. I have a few little matters to attend to this morning, and while I am about them you can be turning the thing over in your mind ; but still, if I were you, I should say it would be scarcely worth my while to trouble my head about it. However, it is for you to decide. We shall again see each other at seven." Sir William then left, and as he entered his cab — " Every man," thought Stanley, " knows his own business best. He has no idea of my real position. His advice, there- fore, goes for nothing. He still thinks that I am wealthy. He has not the slightest notion that my necessities are as great as the neces- sities of those whom I shall join. It is hence STANLEY THORN. JS that he conceives that I shall deem the con- stant division of the profits an annoyance !" Stanley smiled at this idea, and then pro- ceeded to calculate what the profits of such a speculation were likely to be ; and while he was thus engaged, — with the gain of tens of thousands floating upon the current of his rich imagination, — Sir William, who was by no means so ignorant of the matter as Stanley supposed, was conversing with the projectors of the scheme, and representing Stanley as being a young fellow who had brilliant expecta- tions, and would be an unquestionable acquisi- tion, if they could but secure him. " But is he likely to be caught ?^' inquired the noble Earl. " Will he come in }" " That I must leave entirely to you. He is to be managed." " Has he much stuff in hand ?" '^ Why, it matters but httle, you know, whether he has or not." " His paper is good, of course ?^' interposed " Captain" Filcher, who had engaged to be the nominal proprietor of the concern. E 2 76 STANLEY THORN. " Safe as the bank/' replied Sir William. " Then of course/' rejoined Filcher, " it's regular." And so it was in his view, and also in that of the noble Earl, who expressed an anxiety to see Stanley, and begged of Sir William to bring him that evening, in order that he might at once be fixed, which Sir William promptly promised to do ; and they parted. During dinner, although no word was spoken on the subject which Amelia could understand. Sir William perceived that Stanley's views were unaltered. He was therefore in high spirits, and conversed with unusual animation, and studiously applauded every sentiment which Ameha advanced. His marked attention to her would, in the mind of a stranger, have excited suspicion ; but his freedom of manner and of speech had been so cautiously, so gradually assumed, that its progress had been to them imperceptible. " I wish your mamma were here, Stanley," said Amelia, on the table being cleared. " Yes/' replied Stanley, " she would have been company. for you while we are absent." STANLEY THORN. 77 ^^ Then are you naughty people going to leave me ?'' " Business, my love, business. I shall not be late/' " Oh ! I anticipated quite a delightful even- ing." " For my part,'' said the wily baronet, look- ing at Stanley, " I think we had better remain where we are/' " There's a good creature !" cried Amelia. " You ought to be recognised generally as the champion of the ladies. Is it of importance, dear Stanley?'' " It is, my love. I must go ; but I shall return very early." ^^ Well, do not let me interfere with business. But how long shall I give you ? Shall I say twelve o'clock ?" " Do not name any time, because I like to be punctual ; and if we say twelve o'clock, I may stop till that time, when otherwise I might be home earlier." " Very well ; but return as soon as you can — there's a dear." 78 STANLEY THORN. ^^You really are an admirable wife/' said Sir William^ to whom the gentle aiFection dis- played by Amelia was wormwood. " Now you are pleased to flatter/^ she re- turned, with a smile. " No, upon my honour." "Well, I appreciate your good opinion," rejoined Amelia, gaily. " Stanley ought in due form to acknowledge the compliment, seeing that he has made me what I am. We must ascribe all the merit to him. Admirable hus- bands make admirable wives — is it not so ?" " It is amiable on the part of those admirable wives to think so.'' " Nay, but is it not so in reality ?'' '• The belief, I fear, is not universally enter- tained.^' " I should say not," interposed Stanley. "The most brutal husbands have the most gentle wives ; and, as you see in my case, the more mild and affectionate a man is, the more advantage his wife takes of that mildness and affection, the more she will tyrannise over him, and make him feel her power." STANLEY THORN. 7^ Amelia smiled, and was about to concede that, with the thoughtless and the vulgar, it sometimes happened that both husbands and wives took advantage of amiability and devo- tion ; but as Stanley at the moment gave the signal, they rose ; and on taking leave. Sir William pressed the hand of Amelia with so much warmth, that although she attributed it to nothing but the purest friendship, she felt an almost involuntary inclination to withdraw it. The effect, however, was but instan- taneous ; she bade him adieu with her wonted smile, and then embraced Stanley with the fondest affection. Having entered the cab, Stanley, being impatient, started off with so much swiftness, that Bob — who had anticipated nothing of the sort, and who had to run like lightning for five hundred yards before he could catch the cab to get up behind — very naturally conceived that there was something additional amiss. " Another blessed screw loose !" said he very privately to himself. ^^ I^m glad he's got somebody with him ; although as it is, I must 80 STANLEY THORN. mind what Fm at. In this here tickUsh state of transactions, masters ain't very particular about gratitude ; and there's something a little extra o'clock to-night, I know 1^' The expediency of looking out with an eagle's eye having thus appeared clear to his view, he leaped from behind with such amazing alacrity when Stanley pulled up, that he was at the head of the horse in an instant. " Another blessed four o'clock business,'' said he, muttering with great caution, as Stanley and Sir William entered a brilliantly illumined club-house. " When every individual mnder's in a blaze they pints to four or half-past, safe I WoTit you stand still ?'' he added aloud, ad- dressing his horse, " or am I to go for to make you ? Don't you think I've enough to put up with ? Ain't it ten times worse than listing for a soger ? As true as I'm alive masters now-a-days ain't got no bowels for servants at all !" Whereupon he stepped leisurely into the cab, and having driven a short distance from the door, he adjusted himself snugly in the off STANLEY THORN. 81 corner of the vehicle, with the view of having a few hours' soft repose. On entering one of the private rooms of the club, Stanley was formally presented to the noble Earl, Captain Filcher, and two other dashing persons, who appeared to be highly pleased to see him. They had evidently been entering into certain calculations having refer- ence to the scheme, the result of which had put them in great spirits ; but no allusion whatever was made to the project for some considerable time. At length, having freely conversed on the various topics of the day, and become thereby better acquainted with each other, the noble Earl opened the subject of the speculation, the success of which he described as being perfectly certain ; and having dwelt upon the brilliant character of the anticipated profits, and proved in theory all that it was necessary to prove, Stanley became so satisfied that he entered at once into his views, and expressed himself anxious to join them. E 3 82 STANLEY THORN. The noble Earl of course explained how happy he should be to have him as a partner in the speculation, and as his title, independently of his gentlemanlike bearing, had great weight with Stanley, he felt highly honoured. " And what will it be necessary" for us to put down ?" he inquired.- ' " Why, according to our calculation,'' .replied the noble Earl, '^ a capital of ten thousand" will in all probability realise a hundred thou- sand pounds in three months. Bat we need not put it all down at once. Let me see ; there are five of us. Of course, we must ex- • " ' ft! pect to lose a trifle at first — it will in fact be expedient to do so. Now, I think that if we each of us put down five hundred to begin with, it will do ; but, of course, it will be well, in order to make all sure, for each to be pre- pared with two thousand.^' This proposition was made to all concerned, and agreed to, and when the agreement had been drawn up and signed, they set aside all qusiness, made an appointment to meet the STANLEY THORN. 83 next morning at the house which Captain Filcher had partly engaged, and spent a jovial evening together. On the following morning they accordingly met, and were all much pleased with the house; and as Filcher had had some experi- ence in fitting up " clubs," he undertook to prepare it with all possible expedition. But Stanley was in limine puzzled. How was he to raise his share of the sum required ? He could no longer draw money of the widow. Should he mortgage his estate ? As this ap- peared to be the .only way in which it could be managed^ he resolved at once to do it ; but as on the day in which this resolution was formed he happened to call at the club, to see what progress had been made, and found Filcher alone, his views on the subject were changed. Filcher, who had received certain hints from Sir William, regarded this call as auspicious. He was therefore unusually anxious to win Stanley's confidence, and after showing him the furniture he had hired, and the tables he. had purchased, and explaining certain mysteries 84 STANLEY THORN. of play, he got him over a bottle of wine, and became excessively communicative and friendly. " I don't know, of course, how you are situ- ated,^^ said he, when he fancied that Stanley had been sufficiently warmed, " but men who have the power to command a mint of money are not at all times flush. I merely allude to this in order to intimate that if you should at any time happen to be short, I have already so much confidence in you— and one can always tell pretty well what a man is — that I shall be happy to lend you my acceptance. But, mind, this is strictly between ourselves. I do not wish it to go farther, because in the present state of the world there are few men indeed whom I would do it for on any account ; but for you I should be proud to do it, if such a thing should ever be required, to the extent of a thousand or so.'^ " Well," said Stanley, who was struck with the friendly feeling displayed by Captain Filcher, "I certainly feel flattered; and it strangely enough happens that I was just about STANLEY THORN. 85 to raise a sum of money by way of mort- gage." "Bills are much more convenient. They save a world of trouble. They have but to be drawn to command the sum required, and when met at maturity the thing is at an end. What sum do you want to raise ?" " I thought of two thousand." " Well ! — I shall be happy to lend you my acceptance for that amount.^' " But what security shall I give ?'^ " Your honour, Mr. Thorn, will be a suffi- cient security for me," " But I think that every man ought to have some more tangible security than that.'^ " Oh, nonsense ! — not among friends !" " I should feel more satisfied.^' " Well, if that be the case, give me your ac- ceptance for the same amount, I positively refuse to take any other security from you'^ This was kind, very kind, on the part of Captain Filcher. Stanley at least strongly felt it to be so, and inquired when the bills should be drawn. S6 STANLEY THORN. " When you please/^ returned the Captain. " It may as well be done now as at any other time. Let me see — instead of having one bill for two thousand, you had better have four, you know, for five hundred each. You will find them more negotiable." " I must be guided by you," observed Stan- ley, who at the same moment drew out his purse. '^ Can we send for the stamps ?" '^ By the by,^' cried the Captain, drawing forth his pocket-book, '^it strikes me I've a lot of stamps here !'^ And it singularlj^ enough did happen that he found just eight of the very stamps required. " Well,^' said he, '^ this is extraordinary ! I knew that I had some, but I had no idea of what they were. They will save us the trouble of sending out for them, at all events.*" Stanley agreed with him perfectly in this, and offered to pay for them ; but the Captain refused to receive a single shilling. " No," said he, " I am not a dealer in stamps. They are of no use whatever to me, and may as well be filled up for this purpose as not." STANLEY THORN. , 8/ The bills were then drawn at two months. At the suggestion of the Captain, the dates were slightly varied. He drew four^ and four were drawn by Stanley ; and, when each had ac- cepted those which the other had drawn, they exchanged acceptances as a mere matter of mutual security. " Have you any channel open ?" inquired the Captain, when the exchange had been made. " I mean,'* he added perceiving that he was not understood, ^^ do you know any one who will discount those bills }" " Upon my honour, I do not. I never had occasion to draw one before. But I suppose there will be no difficulty at all about that ?" '^ Oh ! not the least in life. I'll undertake to get them cashed for you at once." ^^I don't like to trouble you," said Stanley; " but at the same time I really wish you would." " My dear fellow, don't name the trouble !" cried the Captain. " I'll do it with infinite pleasure. You shall have the cheque in the morning." 88 STANLEY THORN. Whereupon Stanley returned him his own acceptances for the purpose of discount^ and having warmly acknowledged this additional obligation^ left him in possession of the whole of the bills. The next morning he called for the promised cheque, and found the Captain excessively busy with the workmen, who were engaged, under his superintendence, in decorating the principal drawing-room, apparently for some immediate purpose. " My dear fellow," said he, as Stanley en- tered, "those things cannot possibly be done until to-morrow." " That will do quite as well,'^ replied Stanley. " I thought that it would make no difference to you ?^' " Oh dear me, no, not the slightest. But what room is this intended for ? You appear to have been very expeditious in fitting it up." The Captain smiled, and drew Stanley aside. " You have heard nothing of it, then ?" said he, sotto voce. "This room is being adorned to give eclat to a private marriage. It will take STANLEY THORN 89 place this evening by special licence. Will you join us ? — it will be delicious sport." ^^ But who are the parties ?"' " I am bound not to tell that ; but you know the bridegroom. Say you will be here. It will come oif precisely at eight.^' " But will my presence be agreeable to those most concerned ?^' '^ Agreeable ! My dear fellow, they will all be delighted. You positively must be here !" " Well," returned Stanley, " in that case I'll come. But I should like to know who the parties are." "All in good time, my dear fellow," cried the Captain. " But the thing must positively be kept a profound secret until the job's done." " Oh ho ! I comprehend !" said Stanley. " PapaJs in the way." " Out, my boy ! — for once in your life out ! There's no papa in the case ; and what is more, my dear fellow, mamma will be here ! At half- past seven, recollect, you will have the felicity 90 STANLEY THORN. of being presented to her and the beautiful bride. You will not therefore on any account fail ?'^ " I will not. But don't let me interrupt you another moment. For the present, adieu. '^ "Adieu, my dear fellow ! Remember the time ! When you know all, my boy, you'll say it's delicious !" "This is strange !" thought Stanley, on leav- ing the house. " And I know the bridegroom ! Who on earth can it be ? Can it be Wormwell ? Very likely: and yet he surely would have named it to me at least ! Well, it is useless to conjecture.'^ And so in reality it was ; but his imagination was fraught with conjectures nevertheless. There was a mystery in the matter, by which his curiosity had been strongly excited, and that excitement continued throughout the morning unsubdued. He was therefore, as a matter of coursa, punctual ; indeed he was there somewhat be- fore the appointed time, and found the bride- STANLEY THORN. 91 groom to be his new friend the noble earl, who presented him at once to the bride. Well, as far as the bridegroom was concern- ed, of course the mystery was solved ; but in his view there was something mysterious still. The bride ! — true, she was rather a beautiful girl, but she was evidently not a lady, while her mamma Stanley couldn't understand it! He tried to converse with the bride ; but "Yes, sir," — "No, sir,'^ and "Very, sir,^^ appeared to be about the only original sentences she had the ability to utter. Her mamma, however, made up for all, by announcing it loudly to be her settled conviction that special licences were far more respectable than banns. " Why, I say,'' cried the Captain, when the hour had arrived, ^' whereas the reverend swell ? Time's up 1" "Oh, he'll be here shortly," returned the noble Earl. " He is safe to come, I suppose ?" At this moment a carriage drove up to the door, and almost immediately afterwards he. 92 STANLEY THORN. by whom the ceremony had to be performed, walked solemnly into the room. As he en- tered, he bowed profoundly to all around ; and as the bridegroom promptly asked him to take a glass of wine, he as promptly filled a bumper, and winked at the bridegroom, which Stanley conceived to be particularly odd. He remained, however, siient; they clearly understood it, although he did not ; and- the ceremony, with- out the smallest loss of time, commenced. " Dearly beloved, said the reverend gentle- man, ^' we are gathered together here for the purpose of joining this man and this woman. Wilt thou have this woman ? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, and keep her ?" The noble earl answered, " I will." " Wilt thou have this man ? Wilt thou obey him, love, honour, and serve him ?" The bride tremblingly faltered out, ^^ I will.'^ " Who giveth this woman to this man ? The Captain took the hand of the bride, and gave it to the reverend gentleman, and when STANLEY THORN, 93 he had transferred it to the noble earl, the ring was put on, and the ceremony ended ! Stanley stood amazed, and the bride's mam- ma observed that the ceremony, she fancied, was rather short, but suggested that it was in all probability unfashionable to have it longer, when performed by special licence. She was therefore quite satisfied : and having taken just sufficient champagne ^to cause her to be content with almost anything, she began to extol, with surpassing volubility, the prominent virtues of " my daughter the Countess, and my dear son- in-law the noble Earl/* The Captain then called for a bumper, and all charged. " I give you," said he, '^ Health to the Bride and Bridegroom ! I propose it thus early, be- cause I know that as they have to travel some distance to-night, we shall soon be deprived of their charming society. The health of the bride and bridegroom ! — the bridegroom and the bride V The toast was duly honoured, and the noble y4 STANLEY THORN. Earl in an eloquent speech returned thanks ; shortly after which he, his trembling bride, and her delighted mamma, took leave and started in a carriage and four. The very moment they had left, the reve- rend gentleman threw aside his surplice amidst loud roars of laughter. " What is the meaning of this ? inquired Stanley of the Captain. " What I don^t you understand it ? " Upon my honour, I do not.^^ " Then it's" no longer surprising the old wo- man was deceived. Don't you think it was done admirably, considering our parson is not in orders ?" '' You do not mean to say that this has been a mock marriage V' " Why, of course ! It was the only way in which that girl could be had ! Mild and gentle as she appears, he has been trying in vain to seduce her in the regular way for the last six months.^' Stanley was so indignant on receiving this STANLEY THORN. 95 intelligence, so incensed at being thus made a party to a proceeding so vile, that he rose on the instant, and quitted the house with a feel- ing of ineffable disgust. 96 STANLEY THORN. CHAPTER VI. THE COMMENCEMENT OF STANLEY'S SPECULATION. To those who have been accustomed to view only the unamiable portions of the female cha- racter, as developed on the one hand by the restless scheming creature of the world, and on the other by the designing hollow-hearted cour- tezan, the mean, cowardly practice of defraud- ing a woman is sport; but by married men, who have studied the character deeply, and who appreciate those beautiful feelings by which it is essentially distinguished, that practice is happily held in abhorrence. Marriage induces a higher estimation of female virtue : it inspires men with a chivalrous, gallant spirit, of which the peculiar promptings are to those who never experienced the blessings which spring from STANLEY THORN. 9? the gentle characteristics of an amiable wife, altogether unknown; and hence Stanley — he being the only married man present during the performance of the disgraceful, cruel mockery detailed in the preceding chapter — was the only man by whom it was not viewed as a jest. But although he was thoroughly disgusted with the heartless conduct of his new associates, he felt bound to fulfil the engagement into which he had entered, but from which he would then most gladly have withdrawn. He had no Ion- - «. ger the slightest confidence in the men ; he conceived it to be almost impossible for them to be actuated by any correct feeling, — still, having entered into the speculation, so far, he was unable to see how he could with honour retire. Having reflected upon the matter for some time, vainly hoping for something to suggest itself whereby the speculation might with grace be abandoned, he named the subject to Sir WiUiam, in order that he might, if possible, point out the means by which an honourable retreat could be accomplished. VOL. III. F 98 STANLEY THORN. " 1 feel so indignant/' said he, after explain- ing the manner in which the mock marriage had been conducted, " at having, although un- consciously, been made a party to so disrepu- table a proceeding, that I declare to you I would almost as soon forfeit the money I have engaged to put down, than have any farther connection with the men/' '' Had you taken my advice," said Sir Wil- liam, *■' you would not have entered into it at all; but I don't see how you can call off now." ^' Nor do I ; and yet one might imagine that conduct like that which I have described would form a sufficient pretext for withdrawing ?'' '' Oh ! you must not think for a moment of making that a pretext. Were you to do so, you would only get laughed at." " But do you not deem it disgraceful ?" " Why, I must say that, strictly speaking, it isn't the thing ; but in the circle, my dear fellow, in which they move, an affair of the kind is really thought but little of. Had he married the girl in reality, the case would have STANLEY THORN. 99 been widely different — it would then have been considered disgraceful indeed; but as it is, being merely a nominal marriage, which may at any moment be dissolved, why, his family are free from the stain of a low alliance, and his friends look upon him of course as before/' " Notwithstanding, he has utterly destroyed that poor girl by blasting her happiness for ever.'* "The conduct of men of high connexions must not, my good fellow, be scrutinised too closely. You must consider the peculiarity of their position. Suppose, for instance, now, that this had been an absolute marriage, what must of necessity followed ? Why, his family, who would have considered themselves thereby eternally disgraced, would have cut him, of course, dead ; while his friends would have spurned him for being a fool.'' " But this is no justification — " " Justification ! I grant you. But a family of this description would rather there should be five hundred mock marriages than a real one with a creature of plebeian origin, unless, indeed, she possess a mine of wealth. The F 2 100 STANLEY THORN. influence of affection or love in such a case is never allowed ; they ^11 not hear it. Rank or wealth, Thorn, — rank or wealth. No other influence can possibly be recognised by them. And perhaps it is as well that it is so. Conceive, for example, the absurdity of such an announce- ment as this : — " Marriage in High Life. — We have authority to state, that the Earl of Clarendale will shortly lead to the hyme- neal altar Miss Sophonisba Gills, the lovely daughter of the late Mr. Timothy Gills, for many years the confidential carman of the celebrated Jonas Carp, Esq. the distingue fish- monger of Billingsgate Market.^^ — Why it would throw every member of the noble family into fits, while the bridegroom himself would become the legitimate laughing-stock of the w^orld. And then look at the position of the girl. Would it not be one of perpetual misery ? Even suppose she were received by the family in question, their very courtesy would make her wretched, if even their sarcasms failed to break her heart. The absurdity of persons "wishing to form alliances in a sphere far above STANLEY THORN. 101 that in which they have been accustomed to move is really monstrous. As far as happiness is concerned, the ambition is fatal if the ob- ject be attained. They cannot be happy. Even their servants will sneer at the meanness of their birth. In a word. Thorn, the belief that anything but bitter mortification on either side can spring from a marriage of this cha- racter, is based upon ignorance the most gross.^' " All this I admit to be correct,'' rejoined Stanley. " In an essentially artificial state of society it invariably is so ; and none but densely ignorant persons would dream of form- ing such a connection. But that is not the point — '* " Why, it proves that this girl, for example, as far as regards her happiness, is not in a worse position than she would have been had the Earl really married her.'' " But it does not prove the conduct of the Earl to be a whit the less disgraceful !" " Granted ! — as far as that goes 5 but it 102 STANLEY THORN. does not by any means follow, that because men of his caste delude a lot of ignorant girls, whom they consider fair game, they should therefore be incapable of acting in all other respects with strict honour. As I said before. Thorn, I regret that you ever entered this speculation ; not because this affair has occur- red, for that is too paltry to be considered for a moment, but because I conceive that the profits, whatever they may be, will never be commensurate with the trouble it may occasion. As, however, you are in it, I cannot see how you can well call off.^' Nor could Stanley. The disgust with which the heartless proceeding had inspired him was not in the slightest degree diminished ; his con- fidence in the honour of his new associates had not by the arguments of Sir William been to any extent increased ; still, jealous of his reputation as a man of si3irit, anxious to be deemed by all a high-toned fellow, and there- fore dreading the possiblity of being suspected of meanness, or even of irresolution, he deter- STANLEY THORN. 103 mined at once to go on with the speculation precisely as if nothing of a disreputable cha- racter had occurred. In pursuance of this determination, he in the course of the day called upon Captain Filcher, whom he found most appropriately engaged in the honourable occupation of fixing an entirely new roulette table, the secret springs of which had been constructed with surpassing ingenuity. " My dear fellow !" exclaimed the gallant Cap- tain, as Stanley entered, " I am positively too glad to see you. I feared that something queer had occurred, you cut away so abruptly. You should have stopped. Oh ! I ^d have given the world if you had remained. We kept it up till daylight ; and such sport ! I thought I should have died. But how came you to leave us so early ?" *^ I was anxious to get away,^' replied Stanley, " and I always find that the safest course to adopt in such a case is that of leaving without giving even the slightest intimation.'^ ^' And so it is ; but I am nevertheless sorry 304 STANLEY THORX. you started." Which was perfectly true. The sorrow expressed was entertained very sin- cerely, and moreover very affectionately, con- sidering that he and a bosom friend had laid a well-conceived plan for fleecing Stanley to a highly respectable extent. " But I say, my dear fellow/' he continued, " those bills, now — I haven't the cash for them yet. It seems strange, but the money market is in such a state. I've been about them this morning. Four-and-twenty bills returned in three days ! — that tells a little tale ! However, I left them ; but if you have any channel, I '11 get them out of his hands." " I can do nothing with them," replied Stan- ley. " Oh 1 well, then, a day or two probably will be of no importance ?" " None whatever." '^ I always like these things to be done at once ; but to-morrow, or the next day, I shall be able, no doubt, to get a cheque for the amount." " That will do quite as well," replied Stan- STANLEY THORN. 105 ley. " But when do we commence opera- tions V " Why, I should say this day week. As far as the play is concerned, you see everything now is nearly ready ; but there are rooms to be fitted up for the Coimtess.'' " Will she reside here ?^' " Oh ! yes ; and mamma is to be the comp- troller of the household.^' ^^ Indeed ! When do they return ?^^ " To-morrow, I hear ; and some excellent sport we shall have. Did you ever see any- thing more admirably managed ? Oh ! the whole thing was capital !" Stanley made no observation upon this, but directed his attention to the arrangement of the tables, more with view of changing the subject than of ascertaining what had been done. The Captain, however, entered into a variety of minute explanations having refe- rence to the course they intended to pur- sue ; and when he had explained all he wished him to know, Stanley left, with the understand- F 3 106 STANLEY THORN. ing that he was to call the next morning for the cheque. On the following day, he accordingly went ; but the Captain had been still unsuccessful. He was to have it the next day ; and he called the next day, and the next ; in short, he con- tinued to call day after day, until the time had been fixed for putting down the first five hun- dred each, as per agreement, when he mort- gaged his estate for the two thousand pounds, and regretted that he had not pursued this course at once, without exposing his poverty to the Captain. Having effected this mortgage, he at once expressed his sorrow to that gallant person that he should have given him so much trouble, and stated, that as he had then sufficient money in his possession, he no longer required the bills to be done. '^ I'm glad to hear it,'^ said the Captain, on receiving this intelligence, "although I gave them this morning to a friend of mine, who promised to bring me the cash in the course of the day. But as it is, why, they had better be STANLEY THORN. 10? destroyed. I regret exceedingly that I should have been unable to get the thing done without delay ; but you know what bill discounters are." " IVe never had anything to do with them,'^ said Stanley ; " but I believe they are not angels/' ^' Angels ! — -devils, sir — absolute devils. However, I'll get the bills together, and see that they are destroyed." Stanley thanked him, and was satisfied. Scarcely knowing the nature of bills, it never struck him that he himself ought to see them destroyed; and if it had, he possessed too much delicacy to hint that he deemed it essen- tial. That, in his view, would have been a direct imputation upon the honour of the Captain, which he would not have cast, even if he had thought of the possibility of the bills getting into circulation ; but the fact is, as the Captain undertook to destroy them, he thought nothing more about the matter. The time now arrived for making up the first bank to commence with, and they met at 108 STANLEY THORN. their own club, which they had named the European, and put down five hundred pounds each. The Earl and his friends^ however, manifested no inconsiderable surprise at the unaccustomed promptitude of the Ca2:)tain in this particular. They evidently anticipated nothing more substantial from him than an I. O. U., and, therefore, looked at each other with great significance when, on drawing forth his pocket-book, he put down ten fifties with the air of a man having the power to produce fifty more of the same sort at a moment^s notice. It was held to be mysterious ob- viously by them all, although nothing was said on the subject at the time. They money was taken, the bank was formed^ and the " Euro- pean" opened the following night. STANLEY THORN. l09 CHAPTER YII. IS ONE WHICH THE LADIES WILL APPRECIATE HIGHLY. " No w, my precious," observed Mrs. Gills, addressing the ^' Countess/' the morning after the speculation had commenced, " now your sperits is a little bit tranquil, you know, you must begin to look about you as a lady of title ought, and take care you're not imposed upon, or anything of that 5 because now you are a Countess, my dear, you must do, of course, as Countesses does, and keep up a proper sperit and dignity." ^' Yes, ma,^' mildly rephed the Countess. ^^ Nor you musn't be put off neither, my dear. You must have your own way, as all 110 STANLEY THORN. Countesses has. Insist upon having all you want, and you'll get \tP '^ But I have all I want, ma, already/' " Nonsense, child ! — truly ridiculous ! Oh ! don't tell me ! You ought to have a separate carridge, and a box at the opperer, and give a splendid serious of parties, and all that, and have all the new novels, and harps, and pianers — ^' "But you know, ma, I never learned to play." " What of that ? The whole world needn't know it. When you give a soree, you know, or any thing of that, engage them to play, my love, as gets their living by it. Countesses never plays in public. Don't you know, my dear, that that's beneath their dignity ? Never try to play, and then nobody ^11 know you can^t. There's no occasion to tell the world what you don't know.^' '^ No, ma, nor more their isn't." " Very well, then, my dear, then you don^t ought to do it.'^ STANLEY THORN. Ill " I won't, ma ; I'll always make believe that I can play." " In course. And mind, never suffer them stuck up things of servants to address you as anything but *my lady/ or 'your ladyship.' ' Did your ladyship please to ring for me, my lady ?' — ' May it please your ladyship/ and so on. I^ra not sure it don^t ought to be ' your grace' ; but ' your ladyship' will do for the present. Be sure and make 'em stick to that ; if they don't, ask 'em who they are speaking to with their imperence. Mind that particular. Always keep them gals at a respectable dis- tance: they are sure to take liberties where they can. If you give 'em an inch, they'll take an ell, and you don't ought to do it. Always know what is due to your dignity, my precious, and make 'em conduct theirselves in a way as becomes 'em. Look at that low vulgar feller, the porter. The ideor of bringing up the baker's bill in his naked hand, for all the world as if there warnt a piece of plate upon the premises. And then look at that imperent thing, Susan. She's always a-giggling 112 STANLEY THORN. and going on. / see her, although she thinks I don't. What does she mean, I should like to know ? Perhaps she thinks the situation ain't good enough for her. I'd give her a month^s warning : she don't know her place. I don't think she's much better than she should be, my dear. Look at her curls ! What business has a low common housemaid with all them there curls ? Twelve pound a-year, my love, won't support that. Besides, she don't treat me with proper respect ; and I'd have her to know, that although I'm not a Countess myself, I'm the mother of a Coun- tess, and that, too, of as good a Countess as any in the kingdom. What does she mean by laughing, and sneering, and opening her igno- rant eyes to the other servants, when I'm giving 'em the necessary orders ? Does she think I'll put up with her low-bred ways ? The insolence of such dressed-up things is exclusive. Either she or me must quit." " Dear ma," observed the Countess, " don't drop yourself down to the level of her." " / drop myself down to her level ! No, my STANLEY THORN. 113 love; I think I do know myself better than that comes to. Her level ! I don't think Td go quite so low as that, neither !" " Well, never mind, ma, I'll give her warn- ing." " In course. And very proper. I shall make a woman of sperit of you yet. But that, my darling, isn't all. You musn't let the noble Earl take no advantage of your inner- cence ; for Earls is but men, and all men, in this regard, is alike ; they'll all impose where they can ; and you don't ought to suffer him to do it. Assume enough, my precious. Be- gin as you mean to go on. There's nothing like striking the iron while it's hot. It saves a world of trouble, my dear. If you wait till a man gets cool, you'll find him very difficult to bend to your own shape; but if you tell him at first what you mean, you 'stablish your dignity, and when he knows what he has to expect, why, he ain't after that disapp'inted. You take my advice, my love, and insist upon doing what you please ; there's nothing like it. A woman ain't a woman of sperit as don't, and 114 STANLEY THORN* ^specially a Countess. You must go out a-patternizing people^ particular them foreigners as sings 5 and give blankets away to the poor in cold weather : it all tells, my love, to make a noise in the world. And when you go a-shopping, make 'em bring the goods out to the carridge, instead of going in ; and when you don't want your carridge, have a footman behind you with a long stick, with a large gold nob at the top. Nothing on earth, my dear, looks so respectable as that; and the taller the footman, and the longer the stick is, the better. Besides, you haven't been to court yet ; nor I haven't seen your name a single once in the papers ! And another thing, the Earl hasn't once introduced you to his family T' ^^ Oh ! ma !" exclaimed the Countess, " I should tremble lilje anything, I know, if he was." " Tremble ! Fiddlededee ! Why should you tremble ? You're as good as them any day in the week." . '^ Oh dear, ma ! I shiver at the very thought. What I should do when I saw 'em I can't think. STANLEY THORN. 115 Fm sure I should turn as pale as I don't know what/^ *' Pale, my precious ! What do that sig- nifies ? Paint — all Countesses paints — and then nobody'll know whether you turn pale or not.'^ '^ Oh ! but I should feel so queer, I know I should." " Rubbish, my love ! What's to make you feel queer ? Always look upon people as being beneath you ; there's nothing on earth gives such confidence as that. If you look up to /Aem, they'll look down upon you; that's the way people gets over people, my precious. And then there's another thing : where is your cards ? I never heard of such a thing as a Coun- tess without cards ! We'll go and order 'em this blessed morning, my love, and have your court of arms upon 'em, you know, and all that. Nothing can be done, without cards. And then Pll tell you what we'll do while we're about it. Dear me ! now, how strange it never struck me before ! — it will be the very thing — my love, we'll order a whole lot of 116 STANLEY THORN. invitation cards at the same time. And then we'll get up a party, and invite all the other nobility in town ; all the Duchesses, and all the Marquisses, and all the Earls, and all the foreign ambassadors and their suits. Oh 1 we'll have such a jolly night of it, my pre- cious !" " But will my lord like it ?'^ ^' There's not the least occasion, my love, to let him know anything about it until they all come, and then, oh ! won't it be an agreeable surprise ! But let 's see — who can we get now to manage it all for us ? It must be somebody that knows all about it, you know. There 's the Captain ; but I don^t like that Captain : he 's always a-sneering, and smirking, and going on so, as if we warn't as good as him, and a precious sight better. I can't a-bear such ways 1" " There 's Mr. Thorn, ma !" suggested the Countess. " Ah ! he 's a mce gentleman. He M be the one. He knows how to behave hisself. No- body can conduct theirselves more gentleman- STANLEY THORN. 117 lier than him. He ^11 manage it for us. I know he will, if I ask him.'* At this moment Stanley was dashing down the street in his cab, with the view of ascertain- ing the result of the previous night's play; but as, on pulling up, he happened to see a person in livery at the door of the European, he laid the whip into Marmion with so much effect, that the animal, darting off in an instant, left Bob, who had got down with all his wonted alacrity, a considerable distance in the rear, before he had time to recover his faculties, the whole of which had been thus unceremoniously upset. Feeling, how- ever, that he had not a single moment to lose, and being moreover extremely swift of foot, he, by virtue of making a desperate rush, soon overtook the cab, and remounted. " Well," he exclaimed, " I should on'y just like to know what 's o'clock now 1 There 's something in the weather-glass, safe ! As true as I 'm alive, I don't know what 's come to all the masters. It 's my belief they 're all a-going stark naked mad. Here 's a mess — here 's a pickle !" — he added, taking a retrospective 118 STANLEY THORN. view of his clothes, — " splashed up to the very eyes! — a full hour and arPs brushing; it ain't to be done under. I 'm blessed if it ain't enough to aggrawate a bishop. If he didn't mean to stop there at all, what did he make believe to pull up for ?" That was the point; and while Bob was thus occupied in giving expression to his own private feelings upon it, Stanley's rage was unbounded ; for as Venerable Joe was the person whom he saw,^ — but whom Bob in his desperate haste failed to see, — he leaped at once to the conclusion that the General, having heard of the speculation into which he had entered, had planted him there as a spy. Such was, however, by no means the fact ; and, in order to prove that it was not, it will be highly correct to accompany the venerable gentleman, who, after laughing very heartily at Bob's rapid movements, and wondering very naturally what it all meant, tvas admitted between the outer doors of the " European," when he sent up his name to Mrs. Gills, whom he had had the honour of knowing for a series of years. STANLEY THORN. 119 Mrs. Gills, on the name being announced, blushed deeply as she repeated it again and again, marvelling who, in the name of aU that was gracious, it could be, and bit her lips with due violence as she protested that the singular cognomen of the individual lived not in her memory ; still she thought somehow she had heard the name somewhere — but where ? Eventually by a miracle she recollected that there was a sort of person of that name in the service of General Johnson, a very intimate friend of hers, from whom, she had no doubt on earth, this person had brought some strictly confidential communication. She therefore directed the servant to show the person into the parlour ; and, after having explained most lucidly to the Countess how essential to the preservation of dignity it was to repudiate all low connections, descended from the drawing- room with all the severity of aspect and state- liness of deportment at her command. On entering the room in which the venerable gentleman stood, marvelling greatly at the fact of his being shown into a parlour, Mrs. Gills 120 STANLEY THORN. reared her chin, and bowed with such surpass- ing grace, that in an instant he felt friendship freezing. He nevertheless approached, and was about to take her hand, which, however, she with a truly icy elegance waved towards a chair, and with an expression of sublimity desired him to be seated. *^ Your manners is very cold, Mrs. Gills,^' observed the venerable gentleman, who could not but deem all this deeply mysterious. " Have I offended you in anythink ?" '^ Oh, dear me, no V replied the lady, tossing her head with a most superb air.^^ " Oh ! I thought p'raps I had," rejoined the venerable gentleman, " as you seems to be werry much changed. I shouldn't a-called, on'y I ^appened to 'ear that Sophy was married.'' " My daughter, sir, the Countess of Claren- dale, is married," returned Mrs. Gills, with great dignity. The venerable gentleman looked amazed. Could he believe it? Could he believe that the same individual Sophy, whoni Mrs. Gills STANLEY THORN. ]21 tried so extremely hard to plant upon him was a Countess ? He was about to take a compre- hensive view of the matter, in order to ascer- tain whether he could really believe it or not ; but Mrs. Gills interposed at the moment an observation, which rendered his imaginative faculties subservient to the influence of straight- forward facts. " As circumstances is so much changed/' — this was the memorable observation, — " and as you must in course be aware that there 's now a propriety as is proper to be observed, may I inquire your object in honnering us with this visit r^' " Oh ! I on'y merely thought I 'd look in to give Sophy — I mean the Countess — joy.'' "Sir,^^ said the lady, apparently quite shocked at the vulgar idea, " I'd have you understand that my son-in-law, the noble Earl, ain't a mechanic." " I din't s'pose he vos. There's wery few noble Hurls as is. But can't I see the Countess ? I should hke to see her.^* " Impossible. It ain't because Pm proud, VOL. III. G 122 STANLEY THORN. no ; but what would the noble Earl say ? Why, heM think it a disgrace to his 'scut- cheon." " It strikes me forcible/' said the venerable gentleman, who felt rather piqued, " that half vot you know about ^scutcheons ain't much." " Well, I'm sure ! I'd have you to know I don't tolerate no insolence, and so you needn^t come it.'^ "Oh! werry well, mum. But I must say, as a hold friend, I didn't expect to be treated in this 'ear upish vay." " You may think yourself honnered that I saw you at all. I know I didn't ought to do it ; but I beg, sir, that in future we mayn't be troubled by your calling any more." " Oh ! that you may take your hoath on. But as I remember there's a little trifle atween us of seventeen and sixpence, p'raps it von't be hinconvenient for you to settle vithout my summonsing on you to the court of requests ?" " What do you mean to insiniwate ?" cried STANLEY THORN. 123 the lady^ — " seventeen and sixpence, or seven- teen hundred pound seventeen and sixpence ; it's all one to me ! I'll discharge the paltry sum, sir, immediate ! what do you mean ?'* Mrs. Gills, being highly indignant, was about to bounce out of the room for her purse, when the folding-doors opened, and the Countess, who had been listening in the adjoining room, appeared. " Dear ma !" she exclaimed, " here's a purse : but don't be angry with Mr. Joseph. You know he has always been kind to us, ma.'* And she extended her hand to the venerable gentleman, [who was about to receive it with the utmost respect, when Mrs. Gills promptly interposed her person exclaiming, " My precious ! What would the noble Earl say ? — what would he think were he to see you shaking hands with a person in livery? Fie ! my love, fie ! I'm putrified to think that you haven't more respect for your dig- nity." " Well, ma, I'm sure there's no harm in shaking hands." G 2 124 STANLEY THORN. ^' There is harm^ my love ! Gracious ! what would the world say ? What would be thought of you in high life ? Why, you wouldn't be received in good society ! Consider !" " My lady/^ said the venerable gentleman, — for though it seems werry rum, I am still glad to call you my lady — I vornt at all avare as you'd married a Hurl, or I shoodn't a- come; no, I know my place better; but I s'pose they vos bavin' a game vi' me rayther ven they guv me your address, and said they thought I ought to call. Howsever, I'm glad to ^ear of your good fortun, and give you joy, and 'ope you'll alvays be ^appy ; but I must say your mother aint treated me veil; cos under the circumstantials, knowin' her so veil as I have done so long, and bein' alvays werry glad to do all I could to serve her ven she vos but a servant like myself, I do think that if heven you'd become the Queen of Hingland, she oughtn^t to be so stuck up." During the dehvery of this eloquent speech, Mrs. Gills, with excessive hauteur was counting out the seventeen and sixpence, and STANLEY THORN. 125 having done so, in due form tendered the amount. But the venerable gentleman dis- dained to receive it. " I'll not touch it !'^ he exclaimed with magnanimity. ^' No ; it aint that as I care for ; twenty times the sum don't make no hods to me ?' " But I insist !" cried the lady. " So you may, mum : but I M jist as soon touch a dose of pison.'^ '' But you shall have it, sir 1'^ ^^ Not a penny on it ; no ; I vish you a werry good day, mum. I don^t/' he continued, addressing the Countess, " mean any disrespect to your ladyship. I voodn't offend you for the vorld ; but it's a hold sayin' an' a true un about the beggar on ossback.'^ And here- upon, feeling much better in consequence of having made this observation, he quitted the house. " The low-bred creature l'^ exclaimed Mrs. Gills as the venerable gentleman departed. " But you shouldn't go on so, ma," said the Countess. " People dont like it.'^ ^^ 126 STANLEY THORN. " Of what importance is it to us, child, what such people like, or what they don't like ? You must know what is due to your own dignity, my love, or you'll never be fit to be a countess. I declare I'm in such a flustra- tion I don't know how to contain myself. Oh, I only wish for his sake Td been a man.'' Before the nerves of this amiable lady had become tranquil, Stanley having taken an impetuous sweep round the Park, returned with the full determination to enter the club, no matter who might be on the watch. Bob, however, allowed him to make a dead stop before he attempted again to alight, for he felt, and very naturally, that he had had enough run- ning for one day at least. ^^ You look like a scavenger," said Stanley, as Bob approached Marmion's head. " Where did you pick up that mud ?" " A pelting arter you, sir, when you made believe to stop here afore,'' replied Bob. Stanley smiled as he entered the house, and Bob thought that his reply was particu- STANLEY THORN. 12? larly pointed and severe, and he winked con- fidentially at Marmion on the door being closed, with the view of intimating to that sagacious animal that that really was his un- biassed opinion. " It strikes me I shut up his shop, then/' he observed. " There^s nothing like getting the best of a master. Directly they find out they're wrong, they cuts their sticks with their tails atween their legs, dead beat.'^ On entering the principal play-room, Stanley ascertained from one of the attendants that the bank had been on the previous night well nigh broken. He was also informed that the persons who had won, had signified their intention of playing that night, when, doubt- less, the luck would be changed ; and that it was deemed by the highest authorities politic to let a bank lose at first, in order not only to stimulate players, but to inspire due confidence by virtue of its stability being tested. To this fellow's description of the extraor- dinary '^ run of luck" which had characterised the play, Stanley listened with the most 128 STANLEY THORN. marked attention. The prospect seemed cheer- less. Two thousand five hundred pounds lost in one night. His high hopes were depressed. It was a " Bear'^ account with him : and yet, why should he despair ? Had not the Earl himself told him, before they commenced, that they ought as a matter of course to lose at first ? . Why then should he feel disappointed? He tried to revive his hopes by looking upon their depression under the circumstances as the mere result of folly, and having learned that his partners in the speculation had appointed to meet at eight, for the purpose of replenishing the bank, he was about to take leave, when he was formally summoned by the Countess and her mamma. On entering the drawing-room, he was re- ceived with unusual parade. Mrs. Gills was particularly fussy, and hoped that he was well, and rang for the cake and wine, and most elo- quently laboured to convey to him an idea of the delight she was sure she should derive from an early introduction to Mrs. Thorn. " Oh ! do bring her with you, some day,^' she con- STANLEY THORN. 129 tinued, '^ and let us have a quiet cup of tea. It will be so delightful, you can't think. I'm sure she's a dear nice lady ; I am sure of it, judging from you." Stanley smiled, and acknowledged the com- pliment profoundly, and said all that was neces- sary to convince Mrs. Gills that he thought her extremely polite. " And now, Mr. Thorn, I've a secret,'' she continued, — " a secret which I don't want any- body to know on but you. I know I can trust you, and I'm sure you'll assist us. The fact is, my daughter, the Countess, and me, is a-think- ing of getting up a party, for we finds it very lonely a-mumping here alone. Now, in course you know all about the other nobility, the Dukes, Lords, Wisecounts, Ambassadors, and such like ; and, as we have never yet given a jollification, all we want is, for you just to put us in the way of it." " I should think," returned Stanley, " that the Earl would be the more proper person to apply to." " Oh 1 but we want to do it unbeknown to G 3 130 STANLEY THORN. him ! We want to surprise him ! to show him just what we can do. Oh, it will be so glo- rious ! You and Mrs. Thorn must come and meet all the nobility. Oh ! we shall have such a frolic V' Stanley could not help laughing. He thought the conception excessively rich, and one which ought to be carried into immediate execution. Feeling, however, that he was not in a position to enter into the spirit of the thing himself, he advised them to apply to Captain Filcher, whom he described as being perfectly conversant with matters of that description, and who, he doubt- ed not, would be but too happy to aid them. " But does he know all about the invitation- cards, the etiquettes, and all that V inquired Mrs. Gills, anxiously. " My firm impression is,^' replied Stanley, " that in a case of this peculiar character, you cannot have the aid of a more useful man." " Oh, well, then, I'm sure I'll apply to him. I'm certain he won't refuse. But do you think he'll keep the thing a secret ?" STANLEY THORN. 131 " I have not the slightest doubt of it/' said Stanley. Nor had he. He believed him to be the very man to carry out the idea to perfec- tion; and, having explained to them how strongly he felt that the Captain would be delighted to serve them in such a merry cause, he received their warmest thanks, and departed. 132 STANLEY THORN. CHAPTER VIIL IS ONE WHICH GENTLEMEN WILL NOT CONDEMN. As the bank was impoverished every night, notwithstanding immense sums of money were lost by the majority of the players, Stanley soon began to view the speculation as a failure. He thought it strange, that with the chances in favour of the table, and with experienced men for managers, the bank should so constantly lose ; and that he did think it strange was not extraordinary, seeing that he was perfectly un- conscious of the fact that the projectors of the scheme, through the instrumentality of confe- derates, were realising fortunes. He knew nothing of the villanous system pursued : he had no idea of knaves being deputed nightly by the two persons with whom the speculation STANLEY THORN. 133 originated, to fleece the fair players, and to plunder the bank. He thought that, of course, all was square as far as they were concerned, and yet it struck him as being singular that their spirits should be raised after each night's loss. Instead, however, of thinking of confe- deracy, false dice, " despatching," and " secur- ing," and thereby attributing all to the true cause, he imbibed the pernicious, soul-enslaving doctrine of Destiny, and madly ascribed all his losses to Fate. This made him wretched, irascible, and occa- sionally, although perhaps involuntarily, brutal. He was satisfied with nothing : everything displeased him : trifles, at which before he would have smiled, now inspired him with rage ; in his sleep he would constantly start and talk wildly, and when awake, he would fitfully pace the room, with pursed lips and overhanging brows. This change poor Amelia perceived with alarm. To her gentle spirit it was a source of deep affliction : it filled her heart with sorrow, and her eyes with scalding tears. She wept 134 STANLEY THORN. bitterly, but in secret ; before him she assumed a soft gaiety, and laboured to cheer him ; and when she perceived upon his brow a more than usually dark cloud, she in silence caressed him the more. Days of misery passed ; and whenever he returned, she would watch his clouded counte- nance anxiously, in the fond hope of finding his spirit soothed, but in vain ; still, fearing it might vex him, she never breathed a syllable having reference to his depression, until, find- ing her caresses repulsed as an annoyance, she became apprehensive that she herself might be, although unconsciously, the cause. At first the bare thought of this being pos- sible, dreadfully distressed her ; but on reflec- tion, being unable to recollect any single act of hers at all likely to have excited his displeasure, she began to hope that something she had either said or done, had been by him misconstrued, feeling convinced that if that were all, she should be able, by removing the misconception, to restore his tranquillity. Having dwelt upon this for some time, to STANLEY THORN. 135 the exclusion of all other considerations, she resolved on alluding to the subject, and blamed herself for having permitted a mere misappre- hension — for that she felt sure it was then — to continue in existence so long. When this resolution was formed, Stanley was absent from home ; he had left to meet his partners by appointment, with the view of putting down the fourth and last five hundred each ; and as he had then made up his mind that the whole was irrevocably lost, he returned more sullen and peevish than ever. As he entered, Amelia flew, as usual, to meet him, and when he had passively received her fond welcome, he sunk into a chair in the most listless style, and with a countenance enveloped in gloom. " I have something, dear, to say to you,'^ she observed, with a gaiety of expression which contrasted strongly with his dismal aspect, — " something, my love, of importance. It is a question, and one which must be answered dis- tinctly, too.'^ 136 STANLEY THORN. " A question ?" cried Stanley, peevishly. "Well, what is it?'' " Nay, do not be cross, dear Stanley. And yet, perhaps, I must allow you to be so until you have answered my question, and I have replied.'' She then threw her arms round his neck, and while gazing earnestly in his face, said, in tones of surpassing sweetness, '^^ Have I displeased you ?" " Displeased me ? Nonsense ; no.'' " Pray, Stanley, tell me. I fear that I have." " I do tell you that you have not. Don't annoy me." '• Dear Stanley, do not be unkind ! You have been for some time very sad, dear; my heart bleeds to see you. I cannot be happy if you are not so. Indeed, my dearest love, if I have in any way offended you — " " I tell you again that you have not 1" " Then what is the cause of your sadness ? Pray let me know all ? I can bear it, my love ; let it be what it may, I can bear it. Beheve STANLEY THORN. 13? me, I can endure with more fortitude the know- ledge of the very worst calamity that could befall us, than ignorance of the cause of that affliction, which is unhappily so apparent. Do, dear, pray tell me all. Do not keep me longer in suspense. You kindly, fondly let me share your joys, — am I not bound to share your sor- rows ? Believe me, dear Stanley, it will to me be an additional joy to know that your confidence in me is unbounded.^^ As a rebellious tear glistened in his eye, Stanley kissed her, and pressed her to his heart, *^ Bless you !" she continued, as she wiped the tear away. " But I must not see that : anything but that I can bear. But you will tell me, dear, will you not ?'* " My good girl, what have I to tell you ?" " Do not allow me to be tortured by conjec- tures. They afflict me, Stanley, far more than a knowledge of the real cause can, let it be what it may." " Ameha, rest satisfied with this, that that 138 STANLEY THORN. which vexes me is not of any permanent importance/^ " I thank Heaven for that ! And yet if it be not, why do you allow it to torment you thus? Come, be cheerful, dear Stanley; it will be such a delight to me to see you smile again ! But I cannot be content with this assurance. If I had,'* she continued archly, ^' sufficient influence over you, I would insist upon knowing more : but as I have not, I must, of course, in the tone of a suppliant, beg of you to tell me all about it. Come, dear, as a favour ? I may be able to assist you. Be- sides, have I not a right to know ? Upon my word, I am anything but sure that I have not. It strikes me that there should be no secrets between us. I may be wrong ; but I incline, nevertheless, to the belief that a wife absolutely ought to know all that pertains to her husband." " But even assuming that she ought, would it be wise, would it be kind on the part of a man to suffer his wife to be annoyed by the knowledge of every difficulty he has to en- couiiter ?'* STANLEY THORN. 139 " He frequently, I apprehend, annoys her far more by withholding that knowledge. When we see you depressed, — and that we can see, my love, in an instant, however much you may endeavour to conceal it, — the conjectures which arise, in most cases, create far more pain than would be induced by an actual knowledge of the facts. When you good creatures keep us thus in darkness, that we may not be afflict- ed by the troubles you endure, you little think that the kind generous object you have in view is not thereby attained. We are troubled by seeing that you are troubled -, the very fact of your spirits being depressed, depresses ours ; and although we endeavour to cheer you when dull, the gaiety we assume is but assumed, dear Stanley, and the assumption of itself costs many a latent pang. But, come, let me pre- vail upon you. What is the matter? It is is true my reputation for ingenuity is not yet established, but a thousand things might be suggested even by me. Stanley, is there any- thing papa can do for you ? If there be, let me know, there^s a dear / Nothing could de- 140 STANLEY THORN. light him more than to have it in his power to render you assistance. It would give him, be- lieve me, the purest joy a man can experience. Tell me, dear — do pray tell me if he can in any way aid you. You know not how he would rejoice in the opportunity ; indeed you do not ; but be sure that he would serve you with all his soul. Let me name it to him, dear. What is it ? Do tell me.'' " Amelia," said Stanley, regarding her in- tently, " let us change the subject. Let it be sufficient for you to know, that I have felt, perhaps, far more annoyed than I ought to have felt. The aiFair will soon be over, and you will then find me as cheerful as ever ; but if you do not wish to annoy me, and I cannot think you do, you will not in any way allude to it again.'* Amelia's lips were thus sealed, and the sub- ject therefore dropped. STANLEY THORN. 141 CHAPTER IX. I THE COUNTESS OF CLARENDALE'S SOIREE MUSICALE. Having explained to Captain Filcher pre- cisely what she wanted, Mrs. Gills had the heartfelt felicity to find that he was prepared to meet her views to a hair. He was in fact, as Stanley had intimated, the very man to carry her conception fully out. He was in raptures with it. Nothing could have delighted him more ; and so heartily did he enter into the spirit of the thing, and so promptly did he settle the preliminaries, feeling well convinced that before many days had expired the club would be completely broken up, and the glorious oppor- tunity thereby lost, that he got cards engraved expressly for the occasion with the Earl's arms 142 STANLEY THORN. thereon emblazoned, and all his plans laid down to absolute perfection, in a space of time al- most incredible in point of shortness. It became, however, essential to the due execution of these plans that the Earl should be temporarily absent ; and it hiappened most conveniently that, having put down his share of the bank, which was doomed to be the last, and just as the Captain had arranged to get him down to Newmarket, he announced his intention of going to Brighton for a day or two, ostensibly in order to pay a long-promised visit. For Brighton he therefore started, and no sooner had he left than, the gallant Captain issued the cards. He sent them to all the Ministers, to all the peers and peeresses in town, to all the ambassadors, to all the members of the House of Commons without distinction, to all the Judges and chief members of the Bar and their ladies, to the principal literary men of the day, to the Lord Mayor and the whole Court of Aldermen ; in short, he pro- ceeded in such an exemplary spirit, that no STANLEY THORN. 143 person of distinction in town could complain of being slighted. It was to be a soiree musicale ; and as such was the case, he patronised the two most fa- shionable bands, and engaged not only the chief Italian singers, but all the native talent avail- able. His views in that, as indeed in all other respects, were extremely comprehensive ; in a word, he was firmly determined to do the whole thing on a scale of magnificence not to be surpassed. " Now, my dear madam," said he, having settled this necessary part of the business to the entire satisfaction of Mrs. Gills, " pray \that do you intend to give them ?" " Oh ! they shall have such a capital hot supper,^^ replied the lady, *^ and just as much wine, rum, brandy, and gin as they like to lay into. There shall be no stint of nothing. And then we'll have some punch ; the punch alley Roman, I hear, is the nicest ; they shall have some of that. And Fll tell you what jints I mean to have. First, for instance, there shall be a tremendious biled round of beef at the 144 STANLEY THORN. top, and another sirline at the bottom ; a large plum-pudding in the middle, two saddles of mutton near that, a line of pork, a fillet of veal and ham, a turkey and sassages, lots of mince pies, a goose and apple sarce, carrots, turnips, taters, sparrowgrass, and every other delicacy in season ; and if they can't manage to make a decent supper off that, why, it will be a strange thing to me/' " It will be strange,^' observed the Captain. ^^ I should say that they have not had such a supper lately." "Is there anything else besides that you think we ought to have ? Because if there is, you know, Captain, we'll have it." " No i I am really unable to suggest any thing else. Your arrangements appear to be excellent. You must have enough porter.'^ " Oh ! they shall have lots of that. But what time do you think they'll be here ?" Why, I should say that they'll begin to ar- rive about nine." " That will do nicely. Oh ! won't the Earl be surprised ! But you'll excuse me, I STANLEY THORN. 145 know, for I've got a world of business in hand ; but if you should think of anything more in the mean time, please tell me.'' The Captain promised faithfully to do so, and Mrs Gills went about her business. In less than an hour after that, however, certain of the noble Earl's family called, and on being informed that he was then out of town, the Marchioness, being resolved to have the matter explained, sent the card at once up to the Countess. On receiving this card, the Countess almost fainted. " Oh, ma !" she cried, tremulously, ^' I never can go down ; I should drop." " Rubbish, my precious 1" exclaimed her mamma. " Why, what have you to fear ? She won't eat you. Besides, you're every bit as good as her.'' " Oh ! I saw her get out of her carriage. The very look of her was enough. She's such a lady !— oh !" " Well, my love, and ain't you a lady ? And can't you get out of your carridge? I'll go down myself and see her." VOL. III. H 146 STANLEY THORN. " Do, ma, pray do/^ " Oh ! if she thinks to come any of her stuck-up fine ways over me, she'll find I can give her as good as she sends. / ain't to be frightened — don't think it/^ Whereupon she adjusted her comprehensive cap, which was richly embelHshed with roses and lilies, and having completely satisfied her- self that she could look fiercely if occasion should demand a look of fierceness, she tossed her head proudly, and descended. " The Countess of Clarendale," observed the Marchioness, who was certainly a most majestic woman, '^ is the lady whom I am anxious to see.'^ " The Countess," returned Mrs. Gills, who tried very laudably to look as tall as possible. " The Countess is rather poorly ; but I am her mother 1" This announcement had the effect of almost stunning the Marchioness, who drew back a trifle, and looked at Mrs. Gills with the most intense earnestness, while two of her sons, by whom she was accompanied, . seemed ready to STANLEY THORN. 14? burst into a roar, they enjoyed the thing so highly. " It is really very strange/' said the Marchio- ness, on recovering herself somewhat, " that I should not have even heard of my son's mar- riage until this morning." " Well, it is odd he didn't let you know.'^ " At what church were they married ?" " Oh ! it was done here by special licence 1" " Indeed ! Can I not have the pleasure of seeing the Countess ?" " Oh, yes ; I'll go and fetch her ; but she's such a timid thing, you don't know.'^ " Well, this is a start ?' exclaimed one of the sons, as Mrs. Gills quitted the room. " He's not married 1^^ cried the other. " He^s not such a fool.'^ " I only hope to Heaven that he is not !" exclaimed the Marchioness. " But you hear what she says !^' " Oh, I don't care what she says. Depend upon it they are not married. But I long to see what sort of creature she is. If she be anything like her mamma, she's a beauty !'* H 2 148 STANLEY THORN. While they were thus engaged Mrs. Gills was endeavouring to prevail upon her precious to *' come down, and make no bones at all about the matter ;'^ but the Countess was still extremely tremulous. " Oh ! ma/' she cried, " I'm fit to faint." « The ideor 1" exclaimed Mrs. Gills. " As if you expected she'd gobble you up ! I never see such a thing ! Pluck up your sperits, and bemean yourself like a Countess, as you are.'' " Oh ! but I feel so frightened, ma." " What are you got to be frightened on ? I'm shocked at you. Why ain't I frightened ? A mere common paltry servant would have more sperit. You don't look as if you be- longed to the nobility at all!" "But I can't help it, ma." "Exorbitant ! — don't tell me ? You should have a little more aristocracy about you ! Come, come, my precious ; come, take them there knots out of your hankecher, and come down without any more affected ways." " I can't, ma : no, indeed, I can't." " You pervoke me ! I shall never make STANLEY THORN. 149 anything on you. What is she any more than you are ? She's only a lady of title Uke your- self! I never heered tell of such a thing ! I'm ashamed of you, reely." And having delivered herself to this effect she again, with due boldness, descended alone. " My daughter, the Countess, says as you must excuse her,'' she observed as she hastily re-entered the room. '^ She don't feel at all the thing this morning. At any other time you like to come, she'd be happy." Well ! The Marchioness could do no more. She could not insist upon seeing her, certainly, although she much wished to arrive at the truth, and therefore feeling it to be useless to press the point then, she rose, and without any unnecessary ceremony, left the house, in- timating that she was not by any means satisfied, and that she felt herself bound to see into the matter further. As the soiree had been fixed to come off on the morrow, the Captain wrote to the Earl by that night's post, to inform that his presence in town at a certain hour was indispensable ; 150 STANLEY THORN. and, as he made it appear that his special command had been prompted by something connected with the speculation, that noble person duly arrived, and found his partners pretending— in order that there might appear to be a sufficient excuse for the summons — to be deeply engaged in a discussion having re- ference to the propriety of continuing the scheme. Into this debate the noble Earl entered with spirit, with the view of proving the advantages which would as a matter of necessity spring from the very fact of putting down ten thou- sand pounds more ; and as it was then but eight o'clock, the discussion was kept up with warmth until nine, at which hour the company began to arrive. The professional people came first, and were received by the Countess and her mamma with unexampled condescension ; but as the rattling of carriages continued, the Earl suddenly in- quired if they knew what it meant ? " Oh ! yes," repUed the Captain. '' The Countess gives a soiree musicale !'' STANLEY THORN. 151 '^ A soiree devil P* exclaimed the noble Earl : and starting up in a rage, he rushed from the room amidst loud peals of laughter. ••' What is the meaning of this ?" he demanded on reaching the brilliantly illumined salon, in which the Countess and Mrs. Gills — dressed in all conceivable colours, and further em- belhshed, in order to look sweetly pretty, with a greater variety of artificial flowers than ever adorned the active person of a sweep on May- day — were entertaining the professional people with characteristic dignity and grace, — " what, I ask, is the meaning of it all ?" " My noble lord," replied the Countess. " We are only going to have a little party P' " A little party ! Are you mad ?" " But it's the Countess's own party 1'^ inter- posed Mrs. Gills. " rU have no parties !" thundered forth the Earl. " Why did you not let me know of it, madam ?" " We thought it would be an agreeable sur- prise !*' " Tom 1" cried the Earl, calling loudly to 3 52 STANLEY THORN. the porter. " Do you hear ? Lock that door ! Open it to no one ! Not another soul shall enter to-night. What persons are these }" he added, turning to the Countess with a look which made her tremble. " They are the singers, my lord.^' " Dismiss them ! I'll not have them here : they're not wanted." Whereupon he returned to his associates^ who were all extremely merry, and demanded of them why they had not informed him of the issue of the cards for this soiree musicale ? '' We thought it by far too good a joke,'^ was the reply. " A joke '/' exclaimed the Earl. " It may be a joke to you, gentlemen ; but look at the position in which it places me! Tom !'' he added, calling again to the porter as the knocking at the door became tremendous. '' Never mind their knocking ! If you let an- other creature in, I'll strangle you. Are those people gone ?" " No, my lord." " Turn them out ? Why do they remain ?" Qy'r>/?/>T_- '~fA^yy^/u/.4y U^^-n STANLEY THORN. 153 The reason soon appeared. They had re- solved not to leave the house without being paid ; and no sooner was the Earl informed of this than he rushed fiercely up to them again^ with a forcible ejectment in view. " 1^11 hear nothing of your demands,'^ said he, *^ to-night. I insist upon your leaving instantly. If you remain another moment you will draw upon yourselves consequences which may not be pleasing.^' Several of the professional gentlemen here endeavoured to reason with him on the subject, but he would not hear a word, and exhibited such excessive violence that they eventually deemed it expedient to depart. He saw them out, while Tom kept on guard, and then closed the door upon them himself. But the knocking still continued, for the street was full of carriages, and the ^^ hole neighbour- hood seemed to be in a state of commotion. " Wrench off that knocker," he cried, " and then write upon the door.^^ " What, my lord }" H 3 154 STANLEY THORN. " Gone to the devil ! — to let ! — anything ! — run' away ! — no matter what !" Tom mixed up some whitening with great expedition, and while the enraged Earl himself kept guard, he wrenched off the knocker, and marked upon the door in legible characters, "To LET. Gone away.'' " Now," said the Earl, " let them thunder if they can. Snap that bell-wire ! — snap it at once ! I charge you, Tom, not to let another soul in to-night." And having given this charge with violent emphasis, he quitted the house, leaving the Countess and her mamma sobbing over each other like children, while the Captain and his band were enjoying them- selves highly, and making a soiree musicale of it, occasionally looking out upon the long line of carriages which continued to arrive and to depart with their loads until past one o'clock in the morning. STANLEY THORN. 155 CHAPTER X. THE COUNTESS OF CLARENDALE RECEIVES ANOTHER LESSON. The Earl did not return to the Countess that night : but on the following day about noon he went to the door of the ^' European," at which he thundered as well as he could, — the knocker being off, and the bell- wire broken — until he became so enraged, that he sent his stick clean through the drawing-room window. The Countess and her mamma were in the drawing-room at the time, and were dreadfully alarmed by the crash ; but they knew the EarFs stick in an instant; and while Mrs. Gills rushed in a fright to the window, the Countess mechanically flew to the door. 156 STANLEY THORN. " You have kept me here long enough, I hope/^ said the Earl, glancing fiercely at the Countess, as he passed her. " Are you deaf?'^ The Countess, being too much alarmed then to speak, tremblingly followed her noble lord in silence. " Weli,'^ said he, on entering the drawing- room, and throwing himself carelessly upon a couch, " a pretty mess you have got me into ! — don't you think you have ?'' *^ Fm sorry we've offended you, my lord," replied the Countess, " For my part," observed her mamma, who had by this time recovered all her faculties, " I don't see much to be sorry about ! Other Countesses has jollifications, and why shouldn't you r" " Jollifications !" echoed the noble Earl, sar- castically. *' Fll have no jollifications. Look at the position in which you have placed me by making fools of all those people.'' " Well, you know, my lord, you know that was all your own fault, and nobody else's ! STANLEY THORN. 15/ Why disapp'int the company ? Why didn^t you let "em come in ? I am sure there was everything nice pervided. It warn't as though we^d only a leg of mutton and trimmings 1" " Don't talk to me about legs of mutton and trimmings ! Leave the room — both of you. I want to be here alone.'' " Please don't be angry, my lord/' said the Countess. " Indeed, we'll not do so again.'' " No, I don't expect you will. I'll take care you do not." " Upon my word and honour, my lord, I didn't know that we were doing any harm." " Did I not tell you that I wished to be alone? Don't stand there chattering — be ofFT The Countess as she left the room wept ; but her mamma, whose bosom swelled with indignation, looked at him, as she followed, with an expression of contempt the most supreme, and, in order to convey to him an additional idea of what she felt, she slammed the door after her as if she meant to spht it. " He's a brute!— an exorbitant monster 1" she exclaimed, on entering the chamber to 158 STANLEY THORN. which the Countess had retired. " But it serves you justly right for not having more sperit. 1 don't know who you take after, that's the real truth. You don't take after me ! Do you 'magine if he was a husband of mine I'd put up with it ? No : I'd see him blessed first ! I wouldn't take it from the best man that ever stepped in shoe-leather. I told you how it would be. I told you from the first how he'd serve you, if you didn't stand up for your rights. I've no patience with you, I haven't. You pervoke me to such a degree, I don't know how to contain myself." " What am I to do, ma ? — what can I do ?'' " What can you do ? Why, up and tell him at once what you mean. Fly into a passion. Theideor ! I only just wish he was a husband of mine, I'd let him know what's what, I'll w'arrant. Do you think that Pd fret, and stew, and go on so ? No ! nor tjou don't ought to do it." " But how can I help it, ma ?" " How can you help it ? Don't tell mei Presume a proper dignity and sperit. He'll STANLEY THORN. 159 tread upon you as if you was dirt, as they all will^ if you let ^em ; but you don't ought to suffer him to do it. And then the ideor ! — did you ever in all your born days hear tell of such a thing as a husband being out all the whole blessed night, without even so much as men- tioning on it ! A pretty thing, indeed ! — as if you had no right to know where he had been ! — as if you didn't ought to insist upon knowing where he'd been ! Do you think Fd let him have a minute's peace till he told me ? How do you know where he was ? And not a word of exclamation ! — the ideor ! But I see how it is : he don't think that we're good enough for him ; but Fd have him to know that your're as good as him any hour in the day, if he comes to that. Aint you a Countess ? and aint you consequentially bound to act as Countesses does ? What does he mean ? A very pretty thing ! There ! if I was you, Fll tell you what I'd go and do at once. I'd go to him, and I'd say, ^ Now, I tell you what it is, — I'm not going to stand it, and so you needn't think it^ and that's all about it. I'm 'solved to stand 160 STANLEY THORN. up for my dignity as a Countess ; and if I can't live peaceable with you, Fll have a separate maintainance, and do what I like.' That's the way to bring him to his senses, my precious ! Whenever a woman talks about a separate maintainance, a man thinks she's in earnest, and draws in his horns. It's the only way, to up and tell 'em what you mean at once. Now, you take my advice 3 you go down and look fierce, and tell him bold you won't have it.'' " What, now, ma ? '' Yes, now. Make hay while the sun shines — strike while the iron is hot." ^^ I'm a good mind, but " " Do it ! Men is cowards when a woman's blood's up. If you cringe to 'em, they trample upon you ; but if you presume a proper dignity, they'll come down to you. Therefore do it, and make no bones about the matter." " But I'm afeared, ma." " Afeared ! Don't tell me about being afeared. What have you to be afeared on ? Give it him at once. Make believe to be in STANLEY THORN* 161 a tremendious passion. Speak loud, my precious : there's nothing like that : they^re sure to get over them as doesn't speak loud. When you speak loud, men is quite safe to speak soft; in fact, they seems then to be almost afeared to speak at all. Throughout life, my love, there's nothing like giving it to 'em loud." '^ But what am I to say, ma,'^ whined the Countess. ^^ What are you to say !" echoed her anxious mamma, in despair. " Why, aint I told you what to say ? Give it to him well. Tell him you won't have it at no price, and so he need'nt think it. As true as I'm alive, there aint a bit of the Countess in you.'' " Well, ma, I can't help it." " Can't help it ! Rubbish ! I've no pa- tience with such ways. Don't tell me you can't help it !— it's enough to make one sick to see so much affectation. Go to him at once, and tell him flat that you're 'solved to stick up for your rights." " Well, ma, I ivill go," said the Countess. " I'm determined I will. I'll tell him it's un- 162 STANLEY THORN. bearable, I will; and he needn't think I'm going to put up with it/^ " Do, my precious. Be a woman of sperit. Its the only way in the world to get over the men. And don^t forget the separate maintainance.^' '^ I won't, ma. I'll tell him plump ; see if I don't." ^^ That's right, my darling, give it him home ! And don't forget to give him an 'int about stop- ping out all the blessed night, neither. Hit him hard upon that p'int; and if you don't frighten him out of his wits, it'll be very strange to me. Therefore don't forget that.'' '^ I won't ma. I'll tell him he treats me very cruel, and that I don't care a single bit about him." " And very proper neither. I shall make a woman of dignity of you yet." Thus encouraged, the Countess boldly de- scended ; but on entering the drawing-room in which the Earl sat, she was seized with so violent a palpitation of the heart, that she was perfectly unable to give utterance to a word. " Well 1" said the Earl, frowning ferociously at her, " what do you want hsre ?" STANLEY THORN. 163 The Countess tried to say that she felt that she was treated very cruelly; but as she could'nt, she burst into tears and left the room. " Why, what^s the matter now ?" cried her mamma, on her return. " Has the monster been at it again ? What does he say for himself ?^' " He asked me what I wanted there/' re- plied the Countess, sobbing bitterly — " what I wanted there \" " Well, I never ! And did'nt you up and tell him r' '' I — could'nt — speak : — he looked — as if — he'd eat — me!" " And what if he did ? Why did't you look as if you'd eat him, and then go ding dong at it with dignity ? But I'll soon settle this — I'll soon let him know a piece of my mind, I'll warrant. He don't quite so easily, get over mel" " Oh 1 pray, ma, don't go : he looks, oh ! so fierce 1" "Fierce! — the ideor! Do you think I'm afeared of a man ! The ridiculousness of it pervokes me 1" 164 STANLEY THORN. Whereupon she bounced out of the chamber, and the next moment stood before the Earl. " Now, I tell you what it is now, plump, my Lord,'^ she observed, with a dignified air ; " if this here's the way you're a-going to treat the Countess, my daughter, it won't do, my Lord, I can tell you : we aint a-going to stand it !" " Am I to be under the necessity of turning you out of the house, Mrs. Gills ?" said the Earl, with perfect calmness. " Turn me out of the house! Well, Pm sure !'' " You will compel me to do so, if you do not conduct yourself with greater propriety." " Fd have you to know that I'm not to be ^timidated, my Lord. Where the Countess, my daughter is, there will I be.'' " You had better be silent. I believe that I contracted no marriage with you." " No ,• I only just wish that you had !" " Heaven forbid !" exclaimed the Earl. " You'd have had a very different person to deal with, I can tell you." " I know it. I do not require to be told." STANLEY THORN. 165 " /wouldn't have put up with one twentieth part of the treatment that she has put up with, poor thing/' " It is of no importance to me, Mrs Gills, what proportion you would have put up with/' " But is it proper treatment ? Let me ask you that/' " Will you do me the favour to leave the room, Mrs. Gills }" " If she ain't treated better, she shall sue for a separate maintainance/' " Leave the room, madam !" cried the Earl, starting up, and pointing fiercely to the door. " If I hear another word, I'll have you in- stantly turned out of the house !'' At this particular moment, it struck Mrs. Gills with great force, that, as she was not the absolute mistress of that house, he had the power to carry his threat into execution ; and as she felt it to be, therefore, inexpedient to provoke the tyrannical exercise of that power, she most reluctantly held her peace, and left the room, as she subsequently expressed it, " fit to bust." 166 STANLEY THORN. " Well, ma" cried the Countess, who was naturally anxious to know the result, '* how did you get. on ? What on earth did he say V " He^s a brute ! I'm putrified, my precious 1 I never in all my days heared of such a mon- ster ! Would you believe it ?— why, he threat- ened to turn me out of the house, he did ! — actually neck and crop out of the house !" " Lor, ma ! you don't say so !*' " It's a fact ! But I'd have him to know that I'm as good as him, if he comes to that, and ain't a-going to tolerate such ways with im- punity." ^' But how did it come about, ma ?" " I'll tell you — but I feel so wild, I scarce know how to contain myself. Turn me out of the house, indeed ! — a very fine ideor! 'In the first place,' says I, ' my Lord, this is all about it : the Countess, my daughter,' says I, ' aint a-going to stand any more of your non- sense, and so,' says I, ' you needn't try it on.' '* '' Lor, ma ! reely you shouldn't have said that." ^' Oh ! there's nothing like giving 'em as good as they send. I aint lived all these years STANLEY THORN. 167 without knowing what Pm about. Howsever, says he, ' What do you mean,' says he. ^ What do I mean ? ' says I, ' I'll tell you what I mean : I mean what I say/ says I, neither better nor worse. ^ Am I to kick you head first out of the house ?' says he. ^ Kick me out of the house !' says I, ^ How many on you ? I should only like to see you,' says I, ^ a-kicking me out of the house. I'd cure you of kicking for the rest of your days,' says I." " Lor ! you didn't ought to have gone on so.'* " Oh ! don't tell me. It showed him, at any rate, I wasn't afeared. ^ Kick me out,^ says I, ' will you ? You 're a nice man, I don't think, to talk about kicking.' ' I '11 do it,' says he, ^ if you don't hold your noise.' ^ You will,' says I, ' will you ? Do it — at your perel !' ' I didn't marry you,' says he. ' No,' says I ; ^ I only just wish,' says I, 'for your sake, you had. I '11 warrant,' says I, ' I 'd let you a-knowed the difference !' So with that we went right at it, hammer and tongs. But I soon cowed him down — I soon gave him to know that / warn't to be frightened." 168 STANLEY THORN. " Oh dear ! I 'm very sorry you said any- thing to him." " Oh ! rubbish about being sorry. There's nothing like telhng 'em plump what you mean. Is he to treat you in this here scandalous way without having a syllable said to him ? His lawful wife too, and a Countess ! You ought to go in. / don't ought to do it. You ought to up and tell him right flat you won't have it, and let him talk about turning you out, if he dare. A pretty thing, indeed ! Why, what did you marry him for ?" " I wish I never married him at all, ma, that I do. Pm very unhappy." " And likely to remain unhappy, too, unless you show a proper sperit. Do you think, if I was a Countess, I wouldn't act different ? I M give him to know I 'd do just what I liked, and give just what jollifications I liked. Does he imagine that you're to be moped up here without displaying no dignity ? Does he suppose that you're to have no company, no parties, no frolics ? Why, had you married a common tradesman, you 'd been better off. STANLEY THORN. 169 Stick up for your rights, my precious, and don't be imposed upon by no])ody. That's the only way. It 's out of all character that you should be muddled up here, and have no sort of pleasure, no sort of society, nor nothing of that. It 's enough to drive any woman stark staring mad ! What 's the good of being a Countess, if you don't do as countesses does ? What's the good of having a title, if you don't keep up your dignity ? That 's my sen- timents. It astonishes my intellects to see you submit to be treated like the common scum of the earth. It 's incredulous to me that you should suffer yourself to be put upon like that. Why, if I was you, I M turn the house out of the windows. / 'd see who was misses, I '11 warrant. And depend upon it, that's the only way. You haven't half enough of sperit, you don't ought to let him keep you thus under his thumb. If you do it now, what '11 it be by and by ? That 's the point : that ^s what you ought to consider. I never in all my days beared of such a thing as a Countess being treated like you. Where 's your pride ? VOL. III. I 170 STANLEY THORN. You don't seem to have got a mite in you. I don't understand it. It gets over me altogether. I Ve no patience with you : I haven't, as true as I 'm alive !" While the Countess was being thus lectured by her mamma, who was earnestly anxious to inspire her soul with due dignity, the Earl and Captain Filcher — of whose arrival the ladies knew nothing — were dividing the profits of their late speculation, and arrang- ing the preliminaries of a certain transfer, the character of which will be duly explained anon. STANLEY THORN. l?! CHAPTER XI. Stanley's pecuniary embarrassments commence. The two thousand pounds for which Stanley had mortgaged his estate being lost, his actual income was reduced to something less than two hundred a-year ; and as he continued to live at the rate of a thousand, he soon of course found himself embarrassed. Still the tradesmen whom he patronised did not for some time annoy him : they believed him to be rich, and were therefore with infinite pleasure prepared to give him credit to any amount, notwithstanding their regular bills were unpaid. This did not, however, last long. In less than two months they began to be importunate. One had a very heavy bill to take up on a certain I 2 1/2 STANLEY THORN. day; another happened at the time to be dread- fully pressed ; a third remembered by a miracle that his commodities bore only a ready-money profit ; a fourth became suddenly so circum- stanced, that he every day expected a man to be put in possession ; while a fifth had decidedly a couple of executions in his house at that par- ticular crisis ; and thus they went on, invent- ing fresh falsehoods daily, and making it appear that they were then in such terrible trouble, that their commercial salvation depended upon Stanley, inasmuch as that, unless these identi- cal " little bills" were immediately settled, tlie Gazette would be the inevitable portion of them all. To Stanley these annoyances were galling in the extreme. He felt deeply humiliated. His inability to pay sums so paltry mortified him more than if the total had been twenty times doubled in one amount. The thing was al- together new to him. He knew not how to act. Had he been, as many thousands are, ac- customed to these petty perplexities, the neces- sity for either bearing up against them, or STANLEY THORN. l/S exerting himself with the view of getting rid of them at once, would have appeared to be absolute ; but as he had never been in any way pressed before, his spirit seemed broken, and he became irresolute and inactive. Poor Amelia — from whom the widow's em- barrassments had been so effectually concealed, that she knew only that the carriage had been dispensed with^ — could not understand this altered state of things at all. At that period she had had no money from Stanley for a month 5 but having taken care of a small sum she possessed at the time of her marriage, she had been able to pay for those articles for which immediate payment was required, while perceiving how much the importunities of those tradesmen who had given them credit annoyed him, she endeavoured, as much as possible, to withhold from him all knowledge of the abrupt and threatening manner in which they made their demands. When, however, the whole of her money had been expended, and the credi- tors, who had previously displayed the most cringing servility, had become not only cla- 174 STANLEY THORN. morous but insolent, she felt it to be her duty to mention the subject to him that she might know the real cause of their not being paid. " Stanley," she observed, taking advantage of a moment in which he appeared to be some- what more tranquil than usual, " those persons are beginning to get very impatient." " What persons ?" demanded Stanley. " Those tradesmen, dear, who have sent in their bills. They called again this morn- ing." " Let them call. They must wait." ^' But they say that they will not wait, my love !" " But I say they must / What do they mean ? Are they afraid of losing their money ?" " Why, it would seem that they were, for the tone they have assumed of late is really very harsh and insulting.'^ " Insulting 1" echoed Stanley. " Fll kick them to the devil !" " Do not be rash, dear Stanley. They are STANLEY THORN. 175 perhaps, very poor. But why do you not pay them at once ?'' " They shall wait now for their insolence." " But were it not better, dear, to settle their accounts, and then to show them that you are displeased with their want of confidence in you by dealing with them no more ?" " I shall do so when I find it quite conve- nient ; but certainly not until then.'^ " But the fact of its being at present incon- venient is a matter of the slightest possible importance ! I can easily get sufficient money to pay them 1" "Of whom?'' " Oh ! I can get it of mamma 1" " Have you ever,'' demanded Stanley regard- ing her with sternness, — "have you ever named the subject to her ?^^ " Never, Stanley ! No dear, never 1" re- plied Amelia; "I would not do so for the world, my love, without your permission." " Very well. In that quarter never let it be named." I'JG STANLEY THORN. " But what possible objection can you have, clear. I really can see none myself.'^ " I have an objection — a very great objec- tion ; one which is perfectly insurmount- able." " Of course, my love, you are the best judge ; but do you know, my impression is, that you are far too delicate, Stanley !'* " I would not have it known that I am short down at Richmond, for ten thousand pounds P' " Oh ! you proud creature V^ exclaimed Amelia, with a smile» '^And yet are you proud, Stanley ? Let me bring you to the test, that we may see if that really be pride which looks so very much like it. Stanley V' she continued, with much earnestness, " the ser- vants — our servants ! It cannot be kept from them.'' " 111 discharge the first that dares to hold the slightest communication with these peo- ple.'^ " It cannot be prevented, my love. They will talk : they will canvass matters of this STANLEY THORN. l77 description; they will form their own con- jectures; they will swell the lightest word into an affair of vast importance. Believe me, I tremble whenever I hear a single knock at the door, — I do indeed, my dear, and would answer all such knocks myself, were it not for very shame/' " I wish to heaven you would not trouble yourself about such things at all/^ " I cannot help it : indeed I cannot help it. Did you but know what I suffer, when I hear those persons in the hall asking the servants the most impertinent questions, and leaving messages of the most insolent and menacing character, you would pity me.'^ " Why did you not tell me of all this before ?'* "Because I well knew, my love, that it would vex you ; and as I fully expected that you would very soon be able to meet their de- mands, T have concealed it from you, hoping that the annoyance would cease without caus- ing you any additional mortification. But, be assured, dear Stanley, that I do not speak thus i3 178 STANLEY THORN. for myself. Although it afflicts me deeply to hear you spoken of by those persons in terms so unwarrantable and harsh, I am not anxious for the immediate discharge of these debts merely as a matter of comfort as far as I am concerned ; my chief object in bringing the subject for- ward, is to put it to you whether it would not be in every point of view far better to allow me to get — say to borrow — a certain sum of money of mamma, than to promote the circu- lation of those rumours which absolutely strike at the purity of your motives ?" " Oh, let them circulate what rumours they please ! they cannot injure me." " But, Stanley dear, would it not be better to allow me to do at once that which I propose, than to suffer your importance to be diminished, not only in the estimation of those tradesmen, but also in the eyes of our servants ? Consider, my love. What if mamma should know that you are at present somewhat pressed ? Nay, if even my father were informed of the fact, of what possible consequence could it be ? But he need not know anything about it.'^ " It shall not be known to either." STANLEY THORN. 179 " Well, then,'^ continued Amelia, " let me suggest another course. But you will not be angry with me ? Promise that you will not be angry if I offer another suggestion ?^' " Well, I do promise : what is it }'' " Have you not heard, dear, of persons — persons, too, moving in high society, who, whenever they need temporary loans, can obtain them by depositing articles of value as security for repayment ?" " I have," replied Stanley. ^' Well, dear, then why cannot we do the same ? Those jewels of mine (you know 1 very seldom wear them) ; I have no idea how much they cost, but I should say they are worth five times the sum we require to pay all these tire- some people. Why not deposit them ?'' " You are a good girV' said Stanley : " but there will be no necessity for anything of the kind." " Take them, dear Stanley V continued Amelia. "Do let me prevail upon you to take them ; or tell me where to go, and I will take them myself. I should not be ashamed, dear ; 180 STANLEY THORN. indeed I should not be ashamed !" But as she spoke, the tears trickled down her beautiful cheeks ; which, however, she tried to con- ceal. "Oh, that will not be required," repHed Stanley. ^* But Lady Dashwell always went herself. She took hers to a goldsmith in Oxford Street, I have heard. Come, dear, let me take mine, and then all these annoyances will be at an end." " Why, Amelia, I am not a beggar ! I ^11 go and get the money of my mother at once. I can do so; but the necessity for it never before appeared to be so pressing.^' " Then you forgive me, dear Stanley V^ " Forgive you !" He embraced her, and left her comparatively happy. She did not expect that he would have been so calm, although it was manifest, even to her, that his naturally impetuous spirit was being by some process gradually subdued. On reaching the widow's residence, Stanley found her sitting in solitude at the drawing- STANLEY THORN. 181 room window, envying the owner of every carriage that passed, and conceiving it to be by far the greatest luxury under heaven. She had no carriage ; and the thought of this formed her chief affliction. She felt that she could with fortitude have endured the loss of any- thing but that ; which was certainly nothing but natural, seeing that the things which we have will appear very poor when compared with the things we have not. " Mother/^ said Stanley as he took a seat beside her, " have you any money at your banker's ?" This question amazed the widow much. The tone was so excessively novel. It had thereto- fore been invariably, '^ Mother ! I want some money, and must have it ; and if you haven^t got it, you must get it ?' Her amazement may hence be understood. ^* Why, my love,^^ she replied, on recover- ing herself somewhat, '^ I have a little.^^ '*■ I wish you M lend me some for a short time,^^ said Stanley. *^ You shall have it again. '^ 182 STANLEY THORN. " Certainly, my dear. How much do you want ?" " How much can you spare ?'' " Why, I scarcely know, my love. Will twenty or thirty pounds be enough V' " I wish you could let me have a hundred.'^ " A hundred pounds, my dear, is a large sum to me now ?' " I know it, mother : I know it. You need not remind me of that. The question is, can you let me have it ? I am pestered to death by a parcel of petty people, whom I am anxious to pay." " Well — well, you shall have it. But be cautious, my Stanley, — for Heaven's sake be cautious, there 's a dear ! I dare say, my love, that you do the best you can ; and I know it to be very distressing to retrench ; but the neces- sity for living within your income, limited as it is, dear, must not be overlooked.'^ " I know, mother — I know all about it. Just give me a cheque.'^ " I have been thinking, dear," continued the widow, as she very slowly opened her desk. STANLEY THORN. 183 " I have been thinking — and it 's strange that it never struck me till this morning — that if we were to live together, dear, in one house, you know, so that we should have to support but one establishment, we should be able to live in better style, besides being " " Yes — yes," interposed Stanley, with im- patience. " We '11 talk about that another time. I'll see about it. Let me have the cheque. The cheque was accordingly drawn, and when he had taken leave hastily, although with somewhat more affection than usual, he pro- ceeded to the banker's without delay. 184 STANLEY THORN. CHAPTER XII. IN WHICH THE VENERABLE GENTLEMAN APPEARS JUST ON THE VERGE. As Amelia had conjectured, the constant applications of the tradesmen for the settle- ment of their accounts formed the principal topic of conversation among the servants. They felt perfectly sure that the establishment was about to be broken up ; and as the gentle Joanna conceived it to be her duty to relate all the particulars to her venerable friend, the day was named for the consummation of their bliss exactly three hours after Stanley had made the heart of poor Amelia glad by placing the entire hundred pounds in her hand to be appropriated to the purposes for which it was obtained. It may also be stated as a remarkable coin- cidence, that Bob — whose spirits were governed by Ameha as absolutely as the thermometer is STANLEY THORN. 185 governed by the air, was on that very evening unusually gay. He had been to the banker's with his master ; he had seen his mistress on his return ; he had seen her twice, and vrell knew, by the joyful expression of her counte- nance, that a favourable change had taken place. When, therefore, he entered the kitchen in which the blooming Joanna and her venerable friend were sitting t^te-a-t^te with very great affection, he exclaimed in the joy of his heart, '^ Now I don't care a dump ! It 's all right ! I know it is by missis ! Blest if I mind stand- ing a couple of pots of arf and-arf !" ^' Vot ! 'ave you got yer vages ?^' inquired the venerable gentleman. " No ; but I shall get 'em, safe. But that ain't what I look at. I warn't even thinking of them. I know it 's all right now v/ith master ; that 's all I care for. I know it by missises looks. I '11 bet ten to one on it, brandies and waters. She can't deceive me." " Looks is werry deceptive,'^ observed the venerable gentleman. '^ It ^s a werry old 186 STANLEY THORN. sayin', and a true un, that you mustn't take people by their looks." ^^ Oh, but missis is one which can't be mis- taken. Let me look in her face, and I know what 's o'clock. I can tell in an instant. There ain't a ha'p'orth of any mistake about her J' " But ain't you got nothink else in this case to go by ?" " Yes ; but that, and nothing else, would be plenty for me. But there is something else. We went out about four o'clock all in a hurry, and drove to old missis's house. Well, master went in with his tail very low — I never see a man much more downer in the mouth ; but he hadn't been there long before he came out, and pelted right down to the banker's. Well, I knew there was something rayther extra in the wind, so I watched him ; and when he came out, pYaps he warn't a little altered ! I never see such a change in a man in my life ! Well, he got in, and cut back ; and when he pulled up at the door missis was on the quivy^ as the French says, at the wmdow ; and the minit she STANLEY THORN. 18? see him I knew how it was. I could tell, I'd oath it. And when I went up just now, the whole thing was as clear to me as chrystial." " Well, I only hope your words may come true," said Joanna. "I'm right for a miUion. I'll lay any odds. It's the Monument to a molehill.^' " I knowed a young ooman," observed the venerable gentleman, assuming that profoundly philosophical expression which he invariably wore when about to illustrate any particular point by analogy, — " I knowed a young ooman — and a werry nice young ooman she vos — vich vos in a decline. Werry well. For a matter of more than three 'ear she vos a-goin', and a- goin', and a-goin' gradual ', but she never for all that beheved she vos a-goin', although she vos terrible thin, and looked as pale as any sheet of vite paper. She voodn't believe it, cos she alvays had a appetite, and vood alvays be a-eatin^ from mornin^ till night in the most onsatisfyin' manner you ever 'eared tell on. Werry well. Now, ven her flesh vos vasted nigh hall ofi* her bones, and she looked like a 188 STANLEY THORN. skeleton kivered vith kid, and hevery soul as looked at her thought that go she must, she all at vunce had the most beautifullest colour as ever vos seen upon a peach ! She looked like a angel as she sit all in vite ; and as her little tiny fingers vos a-playin^ vith her curls, she vos a-smilin' as sweetly as if her little sisters in heaven vos a-visperin^ to her softly, * Hope—still hope !* And I remember,^' con- tinued the venerable gentleman, as he wiped away a tear, which the vivid recollection of this scene had called forth, — " I remember one sanguine friend, vich loved her, exclaiming ven he seed this ^ere colour in her cheeks, ^ Notv she's all right ! vot a favourable change ! Bless- ed be God, she'll get over it now ! But vot vos it ? Natur' blushing to part so pure a soul from a body so fair : nothing else ! In an hour after that exclamation vos uttered, she died. Werry well. Now this seems to me to be a case werry similar : the pockets of your master is got the same complaint; havin' overrun the constable, his means has been long in a decline ; and although he may jist now be suddenly STANLEY THORN. 189 flush, and you may, in sconseqvence, vishin^ him veil, feel yourself justifiable in ofFerin^ to bet any hods it's all right, it strikes me forcible that this here flush is on^y a sign that the whole Establishment 's jist on the p'int of goin' to pot. That's my sentiments. I hope I may be wrong; but that's jist vot strikes me. I shall be werry sorry, mind yer, to ^ear it, cos I do think your master's a trump ; vile your missis, accor- din' to all accounts, is a werry good sort." " She is a regular, good ^un 1^' cried Bob. " A out-and-outer ! / never see her feller yet ; and nothing would hurt my sentiments so much as to see your blessed words come true; for l^m sure that if anything rotten was to go for to occur, she'd break her heart.^' " Veil, I hope I may be wrong. But I 'spose you know Joanna^s a-goin' to give vornin' ?" '^ Well, she may if she likes, in course ; but I won't : Fd stop with ^em if it wos on^y for my vittles.EE '^ She is not," rejoined the venerable gen- tleman, " a-goiu' to give vornin' cos she don't 190 STANLEY THORN. git her vages, but in sconseqvence of other cir- cumstantials !'^ " Oh, that there's the day o' the month, is it }" cried Bob, who saw Joanna blush at the moment, and look very archly, while the ve- nerable gentleman chuckled, and drove his fingers into Bob's ribs, and rubbed his hands with great glee. " I see ! Well, I wish you joy with all my heart. In course / stand god- father to the first ?" '* Robert!" cried Joanna, with a most roguish look. " Lor ! how can you go on so ?" " Oh ! but I expect it ; and if it^s a heir, Fll make him a present of a hat to begin life with. But when is it to be ?'^ " Vy, as a mutual friend to both," replied the venerable gentleman, " ve don't mind tell- ing of you, cos ve vant you to give avay the bride — hif you'll do us the honner ?" " In course 1 Oh, yes ! You do me proud. Well?" " Well, then, Joanna gives vornin' to-mor- row; ve shall be arkst for the fust time in STANLEY THORN. 191 church next Sunday ; and as she vill leave on the ninth of next month, the job's to be jobbed on the tenth." " Bravo !" cried Bob. " The time's drawin' very near ! How do you mean to pass the day?'' " Vy, ve don't think it's vuth vile to make much fuss : ve think that that, under all cir- cumstantials, may be dispensed vith; but ve mean to enjoy ourselves, you know. Ve mean to be jolly. No expense shall be spared. Ve'll 'ave everythink comfortable and reg'lar." " Well, all I can say is, I hope you'll be happy." " Safe !" replied the venerable gentleman with much ardour; when, turning to his be- trothed, he added, " Can there be hany doubt about it ?" " Not the least, dear," replied Joanna, with a most winning smile. ^* I am sure we shall be happy." " I should think so 1" cried the venerable gentleman. " Vot is there to per went it ? I don't mean to say I'm so young as I vos p'raps 192 STANLEY THORN. twenty 'ear ago, but vot o' that ? The consti- tution's the p^int ! If that's sound and regular, vy vot's the hods ?'' " But you don't look old in my eye, by no means/' observed the affectionate Joanna. " Don't 1 ?" returned the venerable gentle- man, with one of his most fascinating smiles. " You're a rogue ! — I know you're a rogue, and there's no mistake of any sort a])0ut you. Howsever,'' he added, " looks isn't the pint : the great and grand thing is, the glorious con- stitution ; and, as mine's as sound as a apple, it makes no hods about the hage." Joanna agreed with him perfectly of course ; and, as he shortly after this took leave of his beloved. Bob accompanied him to the nearest pitiblic-house, with the view of talking matters ovet in private. Here Stanley's affairs were again freely can- vassed ; but, although JBob endeavoured to make things appear as bright as possible, his venerable friend adhered still to the opinion he had expressed — an opinion, the perfect correct- ness of which was on the following morning, by an act of consummate villany, proved. STANLEY THORN. 193 CHAPTER XIII. THE BILLS OF EXCHANGE. While Amelia was occupied in settling the accounts of those tradesmen who had been so importunate, Stanley received two letters, of which the contents were to the effect that two bills drawn by him, and accepted by Filcher, each for five hundred pounds, due the pre- vious day, had been dishonoured, and that un- less the amounts were immediately paid, pro- ceedings would be forthwith commenced. On receiving these letters, which were brought by the same post, Stanley's blood be- came hot ; and having resolved to demand an explanation of Filcher, who had promised to destroy these bills, he ordered his C£ib to be brought to the door with all possible despatch. VOL. III. K 194 STANLEY THORN. Before, however^ this could be accomplish- edj a banker's clerk called, and on producing a pocket-book to which a chain was attached for security, presented another five hundred pound bill — one of Stanley's own acceptances — for payment, which was certainly unfortunate : that is to say, an unfortunate time for such a bill to be presented, albeit the circumstance of bills being brought at the very time they are not wanted, is one which will, in all probability, excite in the minds of men less and less sur- prise as they gradually approach the perfection of civilization. But, although it was in one point of view an unfortunate time for this bill to be presented, in another it was fortunate, inasmuch as Ame- lia was from home, while the clerk was one of those extremely pleasant persons who deem it correct to fright one's house from its propriety by explaining the nature of such business at the door. In this particular case it was stated with great minuteness to the servant, who, as in duty bound, delivered the message to his mas- ter as correctly as he could. STANLEY THORN. 195 " Gentleman/' said he, " called — five hun- dred pound, sir — bill, sir/' " What !" exclaimed Stanley. " Gentleman, sir — five hundred pound " " Show him up." The clerk — who evidently prided himself upon his picturesque personal appearance, having rings on his fingers and pins in his stock, while a dazzling watch-guard was laced over his waistcoat with surpassing ingenuity — was accordingly introduced. "Now, sir,* what is the meaning of this?" cried Stanley, darting a look of fury at him. "Come, sir, explain!'' This rather astonished the faculties of the clerk, for he really had nothing to explain, and he said so : he had merely to present a bill for j)ayment, and that was all he either knew or cared about the matter. "Let me tell you," said Stanley, who being unacquainted with the straightforward functions of his visiter, viewed him as one of the Cap- tain's swindhng confederates ; " let me tell you that this is a most villanous transaction 1" k2 196 STANLEY THORN. "It may be," said the clerk. " 1 know nothing of it." "Don't tell me, sir, you know nothing of it ! Where did you come from ? Who sent you ?" " I came in the regular course of business !" " Who sent you ? — but why do I ask ? You may tell Captain Filcher from me — but Fll tell him myself." " Then I'd better leave a notice ?" " I'll have nothing left ! Quit the house ! — ^ instantly, or I'll kick you to the devil.'' The clerk would have smiled, but as the fierce look and violent action of Stanley inspir- ed him at once with an idea that at that parti- cular moment it would be hardly safe to smile, he withdrew with a deep sense of the indignity he had suffered, and left the notice with the servant below. The cab was now announced, and Stanley, trembling with passion, descended; but he had no sooner got to the door than another banker's clerk came with another bill for five hundred pounds, which so enraged him, that, holding him as he did to be another confede-r STANLEY THORN. ]97 rate, he knocked him down violently, stepped into the cab, and drove off without uttering a word. " Well \" said Bob privately as he mounted behind, "that^s the tidiest done thing I ever did see ! I wonder what's the state of the bless- ed stocks now? Something smokes — safe! I wouldn't have had that there straightforrard hit, at a gift ! that's my candid opinion/' " Stop him ! stop him 1'^ shouted the clerk, on recovering in some slight degree those sen- ses of which he had been for a moment de- prived ; " stop him ! stop the cab, there ! po- lice ! police 1" Stanley heeded him not ; he in fact scarcely heard him : certainly the impetuosity with which he drove was not ascribable to any ap- prehension on his part of being overtaken. But the clerk thought otherwise ; his firm convic- tion was, that his assailant was dreadfully alarmed ; he therefore put on the steam, and ran with wonderful velocity; and it is really amazing how fast men will run when they be- lieve that they are feared by those whom they pursue. 198 STANLEY THORN. " It's of no use, my leetle swell,'^ said Bob with great caution, as he turned to view the strenuous physical efforts of the clerk, — '*• It ain't a ha'porth of use ; and it's well for you it ain't ; for if you wos to come up with us now, I'd take your odds that when you shaved your- self in the morning you wouldn't know your own mug. I don't pertend to understand the merits of the case ; but masters ain't very par- ticular; you'd on'y get victimized more; so you'd better give it up, because^ try all you ^ Imotv, you wouldn't catch us in a fortnight !" And this, after a hard run of five hundred yards, seemed to be the opinion of the clerk^ for, having exerted himself to that extent with the most exemplary spirit, he pulled up to pant, and then returned to the house, with his noble bosom swelling with vengeance. He'd teach him the difference ! He'd let him see ! He'd make him pay dearly ! He*d serve him out sweetly when he caught him 1 In short, he didn't exactly know what he wouldn't do, and that was a positive fact. ^ Stanley, who had continued to drive at a slapping pace, soon arrived at the door of the STANLEY THORN. 199 European, when Bob, who considered it expe- dient to look out with unexampled sharpness, flew to the iiead of the horse like a fairy. The door of the European was open, but nearly the whole of the windows were closed ; and as Stanley alighted, the porter, who had been packing up a box in the hall, and who was then the only person in the house, bowed respectfully, but with an expression which seemed to indicate that nothing was to be got out of him. And this proved to be the case : he knew nothing. He believed, but couldn't tell. He thought, but didn^t know. It was possible that the Captain was living somewhere, but he couldn't tell where ; nor could he tell whether the Earl was or was not in town : he might be, or he might not ; perhaps he was, but he couldn't say. The manifestly gross equivocation of this fel- low tended to confirm Stanley's fears, and hav- ing left him with the conviction that he had been instructed to know nothing, he called upon all whom he knew to have been the asso- ciates of Filcher, including Sir William and 200 STANLEY THORN. the Earl ; but as from them he was unable to obtain the slightest information having refe- rence to the scoundrers retreat, he returned home in a state of mind bordering upon mad- ness. Amelia — who, as she fondly conceived,, had been removing every cause of annoyance by paying the bills of her tradesmen, the whole of whom had not only expressed their sorrow at having been compelled to be so pressing, but had earnestly solicited a continuance of that patronage, which they, of course, declared it would be their study to deserve — received him on his return with a smile of joy. She had heard nothing of the presentation of the bills ; nor had she — by a miracle — heard a word about the assault which during her absence had been committed at the door : her happiness was therefore undisturbed until she perceived that Stanley, on receiving her embrace, looked haggard and wild, when the delight she had experienced instantly vanished, and her mind again teemed with the most painful apprehen- sions. STANLEY THORN. 201 " Dear Stanley, are you not well ?" she in- qnired with an expression of fond affection, mingled with sadness. " I am not,'^ replied Stanley, in tones which seemed to indicate a broken spirit. " I am not. It will soon pass off.^' ^^ I am very sorry that you are not well, dear. What is the matter ?" '^ Nothing — nothing. I shall soon recover. Leave me — leave me.^^ " Will you not " " Leave me V cried Stanley, in a furious tone. '^ Why do you delight in tormenting me thus?^' Amelia looked at him steadfastly for an instant, and then burst into tears; which Stanley no sooner perceived than he embraced and kissed her fondly.