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 UNIVLR5ITY 
 
 Of ILLl NOIS 
 
 8Z5
 
 HARDENBRASS 
 
 AND 
 
 HAVERILL.
 
 BAKNABD AKD FARLST, 
 
 Skiimtr Strett, Lmdm,
 
 HARDENBRASS 
 
 AND 
 
 HAVERILL 
 
 OR, 
 
 mt Sfttttt of m itamtf 
 
 A NOVEL, 
 
 IN FOUR VOLUMES. 
 
 CONTAINING 
 
 A MADMAN AND NO MADMAN-WHO WALKS- 
 DEEDS OF DARKNESS, &c— 
 REMARKABLE CHARACTERS, INCIDENTS, ADVENTURES, 
 &c. &c. INSTRUCTIVE AND ENTERTAINING. 
 
 VOL. L 
 
 The time has been. 
 That when the brains were out the man would die. 
 
 Shaks. 
 His physicians do fear him mightily. Shaks. 
 
 Spare not the babe,- 
 
 Think it a bastard, 
 
 And mince it sans remorse. Shaks. 
 
 Ilontron: 
 
 PUBLISHED BY SHERWOOD, NEELY, AND JONES, 
 
 PATERNOSTER-ROIV. 
 
 1817.
 
 8^S 
 
 V. 1- 
 
 THE 
 
 iEtiitor^ i^rtfatt 
 
 A Novel, entitled " Julius Fitz- 
 John/' alluded to more than once 
 in the course of this history, would 
 have been published before it, but 
 
 S for an unavoidable accident: how- 
 ever, it will shortly appear before 
 the public. The diversity and va- 
 riety of its characters and incidents, 
 
 . almost all taken from real life, will 
 prove both instructive and entertain- 
 a 3
 
 vi THE EDITOR'S PREFACE. 
 
 ing to such as prefer pictures of real 
 life and manners, to false feeling, 
 puling morality, and mawkish sen- 
 timent ; in short, what is natural to 
 what is absurd and monstrous. 
 
 These works were written origi- 
 nally for their Author's amusement : 
 yet will they yield much profit as 
 well as pleasure, either if they at 
 all tend to restore a more natural 
 way of Avriting than has prevailed 
 of late in the greater part of books 
 of entertainment, (whose fulsome 
 pages, whatever their pretences may 
 be, are injurious to morality and 
 the best interests of society), or if 
 they conduce to a reformation of an
 
 THE EDITOR'S PREFACE. vii 
 
 absurd and dangerous system of fe- 
 male education, now in vogue, well 
 calculated to disappoint the hopes 
 of parents, and to poison their chil- 
 di'en's felicity. 
 
 We shall not, however, enter into 
 any discussion in our preface : we 
 mean only to inform thee, gentle 
 Reader, of the aim and tendency 
 of the following pages, in which, 
 though thou mayest sometimes meet 
 with mirth and pleasantry, and scenes 
 from humble life, thou wilt assuredly 
 find nothing inculcated prejudicial 
 to virtue and sound morality, no- 
 thing which can mislead the judg- 
 ment, give a wrong bias to the mind,
 
 viii THE EDITOR'S PREFACE. 
 
 or corrupt the heart. Having pre- 
 mised thus much, we leave thee to 
 the perusal of this entertaining and 
 instructive history, from which, if 
 thou hast sagacity, thou wilt not rise 
 up ungratified.
 
 THE 
 
 ^nmv to m iSooia. 
 
 1x0, little Book — though indeed 
 thou art not little of thine age, see- 
 ing thy bulk is four fat volumes — 
 go, Book, into the world, whither 
 thou hast desired to go. Thou hast 
 no parent's name to shelter thee, 
 (for as soon as thou settest thy foot 
 in thy new lodgings at my good 
 friend the Bookseller's, thy loving 
 father will turn his back on thee),
 
 X THE AUTHOR 
 
 thou h?.st no swollen-cheeked puffers 
 to srr.ooth thy way and trumpet 
 forth thy praises ; but a numberless 
 crew of the lop-eared tribe lie in 
 wait to assail thee, to misrepresent 
 thy harmless innocent mirth, to 
 vilify and calumniate thy honest in- 
 tention, thy laudable detestation of 
 folly, vice, and crime, thy zeal in 
 the cause of virtue, to kick and cuff 
 thy carcass, and heap maledictions 
 on thy head. It will boot thee but 
 little, though thou mayest laugh to 
 think thou hast their pictures in thy 
 pages. 
 
 Seeing thou art thus obnoxious to 
 the assaults of so vast an host, it be-
 
 TO HIS BOOK. xi 
 
 hoves me, like a tender parent, to 
 furnish thee with the best armour 
 that I can against their so furious 
 kicks, cuffs, and back-strokes. Whis- 
 per, then, when thou seest any more 
 vehement and spiteful than the rest, 
 whisper softly into his long ears, " J 
 have Brothers and Sisters/'
 
 HARDENBRASS 
 
 AND 
 
 HAVERILL. 
 
 CHAP. I. 
 
 An Eulogium on the Sun, — An Introduction to 
 Mrs, Pvffin, — A Misfortune 'which rouses the se- 
 cond in command* 
 
 The sun, that glorious luminary, whose 
 impartiality in the distribution of his 
 favours, all men, all reasonable men I 
 mean, must be ready to acknowledge, 
 had travelled with his accustomed speed 
 from the equator towards the south pole, 
 in compassion to those living creatures 
 who may inhabit the regions in that 
 neigbourhood not yet explored by man, 
 
 VOL. I. B
 
 2 HARDENBRASS AND IIAVERILL. 
 
 and had left the natives of this highly- 
 favoured land exposed to the blasts of an 
 autumnal sky, and all those threatening 
 storms that foretel the approach of win- 
 ter ; in plain English, it was about the 
 latter end of October, and some time 
 past noon, when Mrs. Puffin, the land- 
 lady of the ale-house at Pont-y-V — 
 ordered her brawn ey servant Joan to put 
 more coal on the fire in the best room, 
 and get the pipes ready. " Come wench," 
 said she, ** stir and be handy. I see we 
 shall have a storm, and the gentlemen 
 will be here before you can cry skip ! 
 Winter comes soon this year, a curse to 
 it } it will take away all our wisstors." 
 
 *« Marry, mistress, I hope not," re- 
 plied the girl, " for this town be as bad 
 as Merlin's Cave, when all the gentle- 
 volks be gone. I hope, at least, hur 
 above in the room will stop ; hur be main 
 civil, and don't trouble much like they 
 Enghsh oft do." 
 
 «* And what have you to do with your
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 3 
 
 defluxions on the English, you Welsh 
 cheese, you," cried Mrs. Puffin, "you 
 might have more decency than to de- 
 fluct on they, seeing I have the honour 
 to be of that nation, and have served His 
 Majesty, God for ever bless the mark of 
 him, into the bargain." 
 
 Joan would have replied, and doubt- 
 less might have raised a storm within, in 
 comparison to which that which was be- 
 ginning to howl without, would have 
 been as a mole-hill to Cader Idris, (we 
 beg the reader will not mistake us, and 
 fancy we mean to compare a storm to a 
 mountain,) but a sudden accident di- 
 verted her own and Mrs. Puffin's atten- 
 tion. This was no less than the fall and 
 consequent destruction of a number of 
 new pipes, which, according to her orders, 
 the warm-blooded girl was about to de- 
 posit on the table for the use of the ex- 
 pected guests. She no sooner saw the 
 wreck she had made, than she began to 
 swear in Welsh at her own awkwardness, 
 B ^
 
 4. HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 and while she was so engaged, she gene- 
 rously interspersed a few blessings on 
 her mistress and the whole of the English 
 race. 
 
 The violence of the maid served in 
 some degree to cool the mistress, who 
 could not help laughing at the faces she 
 made, and the gestures she used; and 
 like a prudent commander, Mrs. Puffin 
 began to consider in what way she could 
 best repair the misfortune, and prevent 
 her company from suffering a disappoint- 
 ment. She bid Joan gather up the pieces, 
 and be quiet ; and going to the door of a 
 small room that opened into the kitchen, 
 she called loud enough to have awakened 
 King Arthur, ** Kit! Kit ! Puffin, 1 say 1'* 
 
 <« Well 1" growled a deep hoarse voice. 
 
 "Well! not so well, you old dog, 
 you," repHed Mrs. Puffin, " here's this 
 Welsh hussey has a-cracked and crushed all 
 the pipes, I wish she had the Welsh moun- 
 tains on her back ! and I vant you to 
 n>arch down to Doctor Stirit, and vetch
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAYEIllLL. 5 
 
 some more ; he have a new cargo, I 
 know." 
 
 I can't march to-day," answered Kit 
 Puffin, ** I've unbuckled my legs." 
 
 <* Then you may buckle them on again, 
 you old slinker," said Mrs. Puffin, " for 
 I must have the pipes, and the Doctor 
 will be here soon, and a pretty hurly 
 balloo he'll make, if he have not all right 
 in line like. — " 
 
 Mr. Puffin was long inexorable to the 
 threats and entreaties of his beloved 
 wife, but at last he yielded, and pre- 
 pared to sally forth to the shop of Doctor 
 Stirit ; and after a delay, not a little vexa- 
 tious to the active landlady, and which 
 her remonstrances served probably to 
 prolong, he made his appearance in the 
 kitchen; — but we will describe him in 
 a new chapter. 
 
 B 3
 
 ( ^ ) 
 
 CHAP. 11. 
 
 The History of Mr. Pujffln, — A MistaJse and its 
 Consequences, — A Stranger. — A singular RemC" 
 dy for a broken Head, 
 
 The figure that now appeared in the 
 kitchen of the Cheese-toaster, in the 
 town of Pont-y-V — , was a very re- 
 markable one. It was the head and 
 trunk of a man who had measured, when 
 in his prime, six feet three inches ; he 
 was of a very robust make, and florid 
 complexion, with hair as red as the fire 
 in his wife's kitchen. He had seen much 
 service, and escaped wonderfully well 
 during some laborious campaigns, in 
 which he had risen to the rank of ser- 
 geant in the — ^th ; but at last the for- 
 tune of war changed, and at the battle 
 of jS^ a he was desperately wound-
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 7 
 
 ed in the legs. By great good luck he 
 was not left to expire on the field, as 
 many a brave fellow has done ; but being 
 carried to the hospital, he suffered the 
 amputation of both legs, and after his 
 cure he accompanied his present lady 
 and some other old campaigners to his 
 native land. She was so agreeable du- 
 ring the voyage, and spoke so respect- 
 fully and tenderly of her third and last 
 husband, whom she had just lost, that 
 she conquered the heart of Sergeant Puf- 
 fin ; and soon after they landed, he mar- 
 ried her. They each enjoyed a pension 
 from government, and having an uncle 
 who kept the Cheese-toaster at Pont- 
 y-V — , they travelled into Wales to 
 pay him a visit. As he was considerably 
 in years, and had lost his wife, he en- 
 gaged his nephew and Mrs. Puffin to 
 stay with him, and soon after relinquish- 
 ed the concern to them, and dying left 
 them the little property he had accumu- 
 lated. 
 
 B i
 
 8 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 On two wooden legs then, Sergeant 
 Puffin, now known by the title of Captain 
 Cheese Toaster, entered the kitchen, 
 and sitting down on an old oak chest 
 that stood in one corner, he took a silk 
 handkerchief from his pocket, and while 
 he listened to his wife's instructions and 
 injunctions to make haste back, he tied 
 it deliberately round his neck. When 
 at last he was completely equipped, he 
 thrust a quid of tobacco into his cheek, 
 and essayed to sally forth. 
 
 But now a new difficulty arose which 
 almost destroyed the patience of Mrs. 
 Puffin. In amputating the sergeant's legs, 
 the surgeon had not taken care to leave 
 the same length of stump on each side, 
 which the sergeant frequently declared was 
 a serious inconvenience to him! and on 
 the present occasion he found it one; for 
 he discovered before he reached the door, 
 that in his haste to oblige his wife, he had 
 buckled his wooden substitutes on the
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 9 
 
 wrong limbs, and this mistake threw him 
 quite off his balance. 
 
 " Holla ! you dog ! to the right about, 
 wheel [" cried he, making a plunge with 
 his right leg, which proved much shorter 
 than he expected, as did his career ; for 
 he fell with no small force against an iti- 
 nerant vender of crockery- ware, who was 
 at that moment entering the house with 
 his well-filled basket, and knocked the 
 poor man and his crockery to the ground. 
 
 What pen can describe the lamenta- 
 tions that succeeded this tremendous 
 crash! What imagination can figure to 
 itself the countenances of the sergeant, 
 the landlady, the crockery man, or Joan? 
 Poor Puffin, whose head was cut, and who 
 bled profusely, cursed the surgeon who 
 had deprived him of his legs, so unlike a 
 workman ; his wife, who had obliged him 
 1-0 buckle them on, and Joan who had 
 broken the pipes. The vender of pots 
 called out loudly for damages for the as- 
 sault he had suffered, vowing that the 
 B 5
 
 10 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 basket was worth twelve pounds ; the 
 landlady abused him for bringing his 
 trumpery there, and promised him he 
 should not have a farthing, and Joan em- 
 ployed herself in picking up the remains 
 of the pots of various descriptions that had 
 been slain in the encounter. She was ex- 
 amining one, doubtless intended to orna. 
 ment the apartment of some gentle dam- 
 sel, for it had the 's picture at the 
 
 bottom, when the party was encreased by 
 the appearance of the gentleman from 
 above, who had been somewhat alarmed 
 by the noise that now reigned in the inn, 
 and who descended, partly to satisfy hig 
 curiosity, and partly to endeavour to be 
 of use if his assistance was wanted. 
 
 The gentleman who descended the 
 stairs, at the Cheese-toaster, at Pont-y 
 V— was a young man of about six 
 and twenty, but from his style of dress* 
 the deep melancholy impressed on his 
 countenance, where grief seemed to have 
 fairly tricked time at the game of wrinkles*
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL, H 
 
 and the effects of a severe illness, he ap- 
 peared at least forty. He had been what 
 the ladies call a fine young man, that is, he 
 was a good size, well proportioned, with 
 rather handsome features, and expressive 
 eyes. He was dressed in a jacket and 
 trowsers made of coarse dark cloth, and 
 somewhat like a shooting jacket, a light 
 great coat, and a coloured silk handker- 
 chief. Instead of his own hair, he wore 
 a close black wig, made so as to cover his 
 ears, and over his wig, a black straw hat. 
 
 From the time of his arrival at Pont-y- 
 V — he had never spoken to any indivi- 
 dual in the family, but to give an order, 
 or to settle his account, which he did 
 every night, as he intimated that he might 
 probably quit the house some morning at 
 an inconveniently early hour : and though 
 the landlady would willingly have had an 
 opportunity of making up a week's bill? 
 she did not think proper to oppose the 
 plan of her guest. 
 
 This gentleman then entered the kit- 
 B 6
 
 1^ HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 chen, where, on one side lay the sergeant 
 bleeding and swearing, and on the other 
 the wrecks of pans, pots, and cups, which 
 Joan was admiring instead of helping her 
 master. As to Mrs. Puffin, she was in 
 high debate with the crockery man, and 
 using all her eloquence to save her 
 pence. 
 
 The stranger approached Mr. Puffin, 
 and assisted him to rise : he placed him 
 in the arm chair, and then in a quiet way 
 desired Mrs. Puffin to dress her husband's. 
 head. Mrs. Puffin, with a curtsey, re- 
 plied, that she dared to say Doctor Stirit 
 would be there presently, and he deserved 
 to wait for the trouble and expence he 
 had caused. 
 
 The stranger gave her a look of rather 
 an unpleasant nature, and was proceeding 
 himself to cut oft' the hair, and apply a 
 bandage, when Doctor Stirit made his 
 appearance. 
 
 ** Ah ! by G — its lucky you are 
 come, you odd fellow," cried the patient,
 
 HARDENBRASS ANP HAVERII.L. IS 
 
 " or my head might have got well with- 
 out you, and that would not have been 
 fair play, for we should let our neigh- 
 bours live. By G — I don't know 
 whether that thundering ten-pounder 
 there thinks so or not though!" 
 
 The Doctor seeing that he was expect- 
 ed to act professionally, assumed great 
 gravity, and handling the sergeant's head, 
 as if he had been rolling a cannon ball in 
 his hands, he uttered a loud hem ! and 
 shook his own seat of learning. 
 
 " And what do you think of it ?" asked 
 Mrs. Puffin, who had been diverted from 
 her former subject by the arrival of the 
 Doctor. 
 
 " Very bad ! very bad indeed!'^ replied 
 Stirit. 
 
 ** Bad !" uttered the sergeant, in a do- 
 lorous tone. 
 
 " Very bad 1" said the Doctor. 
 
 The stranger who had eyed the Doctor 
 with some contempt, asked what remedy 
 he conceived would be proper in such a
 
 14 HARDENBRASS AND HAVIiRlLL. 
 
 case ; and his contempt was changed into 
 astonishment, when the man answered, 
 " Amputation ! amputation Sir ! there is 
 nothing else will do ! I had just such an- 
 other case not a month ago, I used no- 
 thing but amputation, and the patient is 
 now as sound as I am." 
 
 The stranger seemed about to reply to 
 this extraordinary assertion, when the en- 
 trance of two other people prevented him; 
 he looked round as if he fancied every 
 man an enemy, and quitted the house* .
 
 ( 15 ) 
 
 CHAP. III. 
 
 The Arrival of Mr. Thomas and Elisha Diggle. — 
 
 Mr, Biggie's Opinion of the Doctor* s Remedy 
 
 The fatal Consequences of that Opinion, — A 
 Battle^ in ijohich Mrs. Puffin signalizes her Valour, 
 and her Husband his Prudence, — The singular 
 Effects of Thunder, — Care of the Wounded. — 
 Matrimonial Kitidness. — Mr, Diggle prepares to 
 make a Speech. 
 
 The persons, whose arrival caused the 
 gentleman to quit the kitchen so abrupt- 
 ly, heard what the Doctor said ; and one 
 of them, whose name was Elisha Diggle, 
 answered, " Sound! — yes, barbarian! 
 sound as death can make him !** 
 
 ** I tell you," roared the surgeon, " he 
 is sound as a pipkin ; as sound-headed as 
 you are !" 
 
 " It is impossible,'' said Mr. Diggle, 
 *< Time was, that when the head was off,
 
 16 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERJLL, 
 
 the man would speak ; but now that no- 
 thing but infidelity prevails, it cannot 
 be I — No ! you killed him !*' 
 
 This assertion was more than the Doc- 
 tor, who had Welsh blood in him by the 
 mother's side, could bear : he ceased to 
 handle the head of the illustrious Puffin, 
 and, flying upon Mr. Diggle, he seized 
 his nose, which was of an uncommon 
 length, and wrung it heartily, even until 
 it wept tears of blood. A furious com- 
 bat ensued, of which Mr. Diggle had 
 certainly the least advantageous part, 
 though he was a much taller, larger man, 
 than his adversary : and, finding himself 
 over-matched, he snatched up some of 
 the broken pots and threw them at the 
 Doctor, and with so good an effect, that 
 he succeeded in drawing blood from him. 
 And now most earnestly do we wish for 
 the pen of Homer, so famous for his bat- 
 tles, or of Cervantes, no less famous for 
 his unequalled fights, that we might, with 
 proper effect, detail the general engage-
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERlLL. 1? 
 
 ment that ensued. But, as we have no 
 pen but our own, made from the quill 
 of the sagacious goose, we must do as 
 well as we can, and beg our readers to 
 be content. 
 
 This argillacieous attack, then, (as Mr. 
 Diggle afterwards called it,) seemed to 
 rouse every individual to take part in the 
 combat ; and the missiles flew in every 
 direction. 
 
 The companion of Mr. Diggle, whose 
 name was Thomas, arranged himself on 
 the side of his friend, and, taking the re- 
 mains of a sugar bason which lay nearest 
 to him, he aimed it directly at the eyes 
 of Doctor Stirit, but without accom- 
 plishing the mischief he designed. It 
 passed the Doctor, and saluted the cheek 
 of Mrs. Puffin, who was close by him, 
 Mrs. Puffin had been used to battles ; 
 and if she had not actually engaged in 
 them, she had witnessed them. All her 
 former martial ideas returned, and, pant- 
 ing for glory and revenge, she threw back
 
 18 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 the bason at Thomas, and followed up 
 the advantage she had gained, by wound- 
 ing the lip of her opponent by sundry 
 other argile shots. Joan seconded her 
 mistress ; and the poor potman supported 
 Thomas, determined to have revenge if 
 he could get nothing else. 
 
 As to the sergeant, he sat like the pic- 
 ture of Raw-head and Bloody-bones, 
 with stripes of sanguine hue on his face 
 and garment; and finding that he was 
 not likely to get assistance, and that the 
 shot might reach him, he took some linen 
 he found in a paper in the chair he was 
 sitting on, and put it to his wound : he 
 fastened it, by tying his pocket handker- 
 chief over it, and under his chin, and 
 then drawing the cushion from beneath 
 him, he held it as a shield before his face, 
 and contrived to peep at the combatants 
 from behind it, cheering them by various 
 encouraging exclamations, and giving the 
 word of command with no small glee. 
 It was not long, however, before a re-
 
 HAttDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 19 
 
 trograde movement of his wife brought 
 the battle nearer to him than was quite 
 agreeable, and he ran some risk of hav- 
 ing her driven upon him: to prevent 
 this, he threw himself back in his chair, 
 and, with the cushion, as before, for a 
 safeguard, he, in his turn, made an at- 
 tack, by raising his two wooden legs, 
 and wheeling them about with wonderful 
 rapidity, to the great annoyance of all 
 who came within leg-reach of him. 
 
 This state of things, however, did not 
 last ; for the combat was too severe to be 
 of long continuance ; and when it was at 
 its height, a tremendous clap of thunder 
 seemed to shake the house to its founda- 
 tions. Its effect in the kitchen at Pont- 
 y-V — was remarkable and instantaneous ! 
 The combat ceased on all sides as if by 
 general consent ; the sergeant gave over 
 describing segments of circles, but did 
 not uncover his head ! The Doctor re- 
 linquished the hold that he had on the 
 nose or throat (we forget which) of Mr.
 
 so HARDENBBASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Diggle : Thomas, who was about to cast 
 a vessel of no small size on Mrs. Puffin, 
 let it fall on his own toes : and Joan, and 
 the pot-merchant, who were each in the 
 act of throwing, stood with their arms 
 raised, yet powerless, as if the thunder 
 had petrified them. 
 
 But this chapter having been very 
 laborious, we beg to defer what we have 
 further to say till to-morrow. 
 
 The thunder having caused the furious 
 engagement at Pont-y-V — to cease, as 
 we have said, those who had been con- 
 cerned in it turned their attention to the 
 state of the wounded on all sides ; and 
 even Mr. Diggle submitted to have his 
 nose dressed by his former foe, Dr. 
 Stirit. Harmony was in a great measure 
 restored ; and the poor merchant of 
 crockery, who, though free from bodily 
 injury, was, in fact, the greatest sufferer 
 of the party, appealed to the whole com- 
 pany, and laid his case before them, al- 
 leging that he was but a servant employed
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. ^1 
 
 to dispose of the goods in question, and 
 that he must be accountable for all he 
 did not return to his master. 
 
 In reply to this plea, Captain Cheese- 
 toaster rejoined, that the catastrophe was 
 but the fate of war ; a mere unavoidable 
 accident; and that he was not by law 
 accountable for what had happened. He 
 said, that if the man had broken his pots, 
 he himself had had his head broken, and 
 that he would go to the devil sooner than 
 pay one farthing. But as to Mrs. Puffin, 
 he added, it was quite another thing ! — 
 she deserved to pay for having disturbed 
 him to send him on her fool's errands j 
 and whatever the man could extract from 
 her store was fair spoil. 
 
 This ill-timed hit at his wife drew upon 
 that good lady the whole force of the 
 potman's expostulations, and, as before, 
 every one arranged himself on one side or 
 other. The battle would probably have 
 been renewed with redoubled fury; and 
 JJeaven only knows what fatal conse-
 
 22 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 quences might have ensued, if Mr. Dig- 
 gle had not undertaken to reconcile all 
 differences by making a speech. 
 
 In order to shew his powers of oratory 
 to the best advantage, he mounted upon 
 the oak chest we formerly mentioned ; 
 but, as he was a very tall man, he found 
 his situation somewhat uncomfortable ; 
 for the cieling was low, and, on his very 
 first attempt to stand upright, he knock- 
 ed his head with such force against the 
 top of the room, that the sergeant started 
 at the hollow sound it produced. 
 
 With somewhat of a watery appear- 
 ance, then, in his eyes, he descended; and 
 turning the pot-merchant's basket bot- 
 tom upwards, he stepped upon it, and 
 began his harangue, as in the following 
 chapter.
 
 ( 23 ) 
 
 CHAP. IV. 
 
 An Oration f and the Sergeant's Wit, — Mrs, Puffings 
 Generosity, and the Consequences of Interference. 
 — Diggi^'s neiJt) Disaster, — The Return of the 
 Stranger, — Preliminaries of Peace and Ratifica- 
 iion. — Some Account of Mr, Diggle, and his otun 
 Account of his otun Works, — The Effects of his 
 Enthusiasm* 
 
 Mr. Diggle being, as we said, mounted 
 on the basket, in the true oratorical style, 
 raised his right arm, and exclaimed, 
 
 " Potsherds ! Potsherds ! '' 
 
 A pause ensued j and not a potsherd 
 condescending to answer, his auditors, 
 with mute and profound attention, stretch- 
 ed out their necks, and almost cracked 
 their, eye-strings, in expectation of what 
 would come next. 
 
 Mr. Diggle then took out his pocket 
 handkerchief, and, having, v/ith much
 
 24« HARDENBKA8S AND HAVERILL. 
 
 care, wiped the nose that had been so 
 great a sufferer, he began again. 
 
 " Potsherds 1" — and another pause en- 
 sued, which was interrupted by the ser- 
 geant who exclaimed, 
 
 " Aye, by G — ! botchers enough !'* 
 
 This sally of wit produced a laugh from 
 the company, all but the orator, upon 
 whom it had a most happy effect ; for, as 
 it roused his ire, it furnished him with a 
 subject, and turning to the sergeant, he 
 addressed him thus : 
 
 " O thou compound of material and 
 immaterial, true Potsherd ! whose intui- 
 tive perceptions are as the glare of a 
 phantom by night ! Is it for thee, who 
 art an i7ieffigiatus, a deformitas, to cast 
 the slime of thy waters upon me ? Learn, 
 learn to see whence the rays of light pro- 
 ceed, and do not, thou profane and impo- 
 tent ! act with irreverence toward* the 
 sealed." 
 
 " Sir ! " cried the pot-man, " they are
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 25 
 
 all sealed at the factory ; master never 
 send none without." 
 
 " Ah ! sealed didst thou say ?" replied 
 Diggle ; " then, indeed, they must not 
 suffer ! The sealed of the Lord are the 
 true sons, and we will award thee what is 
 thy due. Lift, raise thy remains, and we 
 will decide, will adjudge thee what is thy 
 pretimn, thy rata poi'tio/* 
 
 As the landlady understood just enough 
 of this to know that the orator was in- 
 clined to give the man his due, — a thing 
 she by no means liked, — she thought it 
 better to make a compromise, and, taking 
 a one pound note from her pocket, she 
 said she would give the gentleman no fur- 
 ther trouble ; that the pots were not worth 
 so much as twenty shillings ; but that, to 
 get rid of the litter and the noise, the 
 man might take that, and carry away the 
 broken pieces. 
 
 The merchant seemed to hesitate, and 
 would probably have taken the money, 
 but Diggle, who delighted in settling 
 
 VOL, I. C
 
 26 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 other people's affairs, prevented him, and 
 said the things ought to be valued sepa- 
 rately, and not by vi^holesale. 
 , Mr. Thomas, seconding his friend, un- 
 dertook to be arbiter with regard to the 
 reasonableness of the man's demands ; but 
 to this Mrs. Puffin objected, unless Dr. 
 Stirit, who was more learned in the price 
 of crockery than in the healing art, was 
 joined in the commission. After much 
 clamour this was agreed to, and they had 
 already proceeded to the amount of two 
 pounds five shillings and twopence, when 
 a furious quarrel arose between Diggle 
 and the Doctor about the price of a cham- 
 ber requisite. Mrs. Puffin, at last, lost 
 her patience, — for during this time not 
 a single pint of liquor was called for, 
 —and, snatching up a broken jug, she 
 threw it at the orator, and hit him on 
 the nose. At that same moment he was 
 stamping with great fury, and broke 
 through the bottom of the basket on 
 which he stood, with his right foot. He
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 27 
 
 consequently fell to the ground ; and 
 the pot-merchant seized him by the col- 
 lar, and demanded pay for his basket ; 
 which, as if animated with the same spirit, 
 obstinately hung to the foot that had 
 pierced it. 
 
 Things were in this position when the 
 stranger in the black wig returned, com- 
 pletely wet through with the heavy r^in 
 that had fallen ; and, as he passed the 
 field of battle where Diggle was quaking 
 under the hands of the pot-man, he 
 hardly cast his eye on one side, but 
 ordered Joan to make a fire in his room 
 instantly. 
 
 The girl went to obey him, and while 
 she was in his apartment, the party below 
 came to an accommodation ; for Mrs. 
 Puffin perceived it was not her interest 
 to promote fighting instead of drinking. 
 She paid two pounds ; and Mr. Diggle, 
 who was really in good circumstances, 
 gave ten shillings for the share he had 
 had in the amusements of the day. As 
 c 2
 
 28 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 to the Sergeant, he said, now his wife had 
 paid the damage, he did not care if 
 he clubbed his share to the poor man's 
 loss, and he generously gave him a 
 dollar. 
 
 Things being thus arranged, and the 
 preliminaries of peace signed, the whole 
 party agreed to ratify them over a bottle 
 in the best room, and Mrs. Puffin her- 
 self waited upon the gentlemen, and sent 
 a boy who ran errands for her, to the 
 Doctor's for some pipes. The Sergeant 
 had his face washed, and contrived to 
 march to the seat left for him in the best 
 room, and a few glasses of Mrs. Puffin's 
 liquor put the whole company in good 
 humour with each other. 
 
 As Doctor Stirit and Mr. Thomas were 
 townsmen, and in the habit of meeting 
 every day at the Cheese-toaster, Mr. 
 Sergeant Puffin did not feel his curiosity 
 at all interested about them, knowing, or 
 fancying that he knew, every thing that 
 could be told about them. But this was
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 29 
 
 not the case with respect to Mr. Diggle, 
 who was one of those numerous travellers 
 that every summer migrate from their 
 homes, to visit the more romantic parts 
 of their native isle. 
 
 As the town of Pont-y-V — was situ- 
 ated in the vicinity of some of the most 
 beautiful and remarkable views and cu- 
 riosities of Wales, the landlady, during 
 the summer and autumnal months, was 
 in the habit of receiving many way-faring 
 men ; and, as the roads were very bad, 
 almost impracticable for carriages, and 
 not very good for horses, unless those 
 bred in the country, she had learnt to 
 welcome a traveller with some respect 
 and civility, though he came on foot, and 
 without a servant. 
 
 Mr. Sergeant then expressed his wish 
 to know who his guest was, by drinking 
 to His Honor's health, though he had 
 not the honor to know who His Honor 
 was, 
 
 In reply, Mr. Diggle, whose whole 
 c 3
 
 so HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 pleasure was in asking or relating, said, 
 that probably his face might be unknown 
 to hinn, but, that he believed, as soon as 
 he heard his name, he would recollect 
 who he was. " My friend Mr. Thomas, 
 here,'' continued he, *' can tell you, that 
 it is one of the most illustrious of the 
 present day, and I doubt not will de- 
 scend to posterity with those of Homer, 
 Virgil, Horace, and Ovid, to say nothing 
 of Theocritus the Sicilian shepherd, or 
 the numerous class of moderns who have 
 in vain endeavoured to reach the height 
 to which those immortal sons of another 
 age attained.'* 
 
 The landlord said, he did not recollect 
 any of them gentlemen having a com- 
 mand in the last war, but they had fine 
 sounding names enough, except the last, 
 who was of no great family he believed, 
 he did not know an officer called Shep- 
 herd. 
 
 Mr. Thomas here replied, that his 
 friend did not talk of commanders ; if he
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 3l 
 
 had, he might have spoke of Llewellyn, 
 or Henry the Fifth, but that the land- 
 lord would soon hear an explanation. 
 " My friend," continued he, " is the 
 illustrious Elisha Diggle Esq. who de- 
 serves, if ever man deserved, the office 
 of Poet Laureat. He has written heaps 
 on heaps ! books on books 1 and is now 
 publishing a work to which all Merlin's 
 will be nothing at all." " Yes !" said 
 Mr. Diggle, '' I have just launched 
 upon the ocean of a tempestuous and 
 ungrateful world, a little skiff charged 
 with the exuberations of a talent, that 
 without vanity, and before friends, I may 
 say, has never had its equal ! It is but 
 nine hundred lines of the thirtieth canto 
 of my tenth book. I intend that the 
 whole work shall consist of twenty-four 
 books, of fifty cantos each, and each canto 
 of not less than two thousand verses. 
 My work will embrace the vast circle 
 of nature, with all that the eye of man 
 hath seen or ear heard, or that it hath 
 c 4
 
 32 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 entered into the lieart of man to con- 
 ceive. Soar up to heaven ? there you 
 shall find me counting the stars and ex- 
 plaining their aspects ! prognosticating, 
 with unerring assurance, the events that 
 shall preponderate and weigh down ages 
 yet unborn, and piercing through the veil 
 of futurity with matchless accuracy and 
 perspicacit3^ Go down to hell ? there also 
 shall you find me, and tremble while I tear 
 your soul with the torments of the Tarta- 
 rian damned." As Diggle pronounced 
 these words, he raised his arm, and wheel- 
 ed it horizontally in so unfortunate a man- 
 ner, and at so unlucky a moment, that his 
 fist came in contact with the head of the 
 little boy who was entering the room 
 with the fresh supply of pipes, and level- 
 led him and his cargo to the ground. 
 The Sergeant had shoved his chair by de- 
 grees, farther and farther from Diggle as 
 he proceeded in his speech, for he felt 
 assured that he w.s mad, and heartily 
 wished him out of the house ; and in this
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. $3 
 
 opinion the doctor concurred with him, 
 while his friend Mr. Thomas lifted up 
 his eyes, and cried from time to time, 
 " A prophet ! yea a prophet !" 
 
 c 6
 
 (34) 
 
 CHAP. V. 
 
 Which contains an interesting Conversation between 
 the Company at the Cheese-toaster, during which 
 some Account is given of the Marquis of Harden' 
 brass, and the Family of Rhanvellyn, — The DoC' 
 tor is summoned. 
 
 The new disaster that befel the pipes 
 almost drove the Sergeant to despair, for 
 his soul was a-thirst for smoke, and it 
 likewise contributed, in some degree, to 
 calm Mr. Diggle : the boy had a glass of 
 wine given him, and was sent back for 
 more, and the Doctor asked the landlord, 
 by way of changing the conversation, and 
 for other private reasons, who the black- 
 looking man was, chat was up-stairs. 
 
 " By the sword of St. George '/* re- 
 plied the Sergeant, " You know as much 
 as I do ; He has been here this fort- 
 night or thereabouts, and I fancy he 
 comes to make pictures or something,
 
 HARDENER ASS AND HAVEFILL. $5 
 
 for one of my neighbours found him sit- 
 ting in front of the Great Fall at the 
 castle, and he goes out to see something 
 every day/* 
 
 " Very odd !" said the Doctor. 
 
 *' Not at all, Sir '/' interrupted Mr- 
 Diggle. " Perhaps instead of a painter, 
 the gentleman is a poet ! and in that 
 case he pursues the right method to 
 get ideas. The Great Fall! God of 
 ttiy Art ! Divine Apollo ! a great fall 
 of water is a subject to flow in pel- 
 lucid drops through ten thousand lines ! 
 that is the way to furnish the mind with 
 ideas. Sir, and I make a point of describ- 
 ing nothing myself but what I have actu* 
 ally seen." 
 
 " Then Sir 1" asked the sergeant, *' I 
 fancy Your Honour has been damned 
 once already ?" 
 
 This question made the Doctor grin, 
 and Diggle, who was a little out of 
 countenance, instead of answering, asked 
 what the strange gentleman's name was. 
 c 6
 
 36 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 « That's what I can't tell Your Honor/' 
 replied mine host, '' he never gave the 
 word yet." 
 
 " Very odd !*' cried Doctor Stirit, 
 " that a man should be a fortnight in a 
 house, and not have told his name ! I 
 greatly suspect he is a dangerous man I" 
 
 " As how ?'* asked the landlord. 
 
 " As how ?" replied the doctor, '^ why 
 don't you say he goes prying and peep- 
 ing at the Castle ? And do you think 
 the Marquis, who has ordered that no- 
 body ! no not the King himself, should 
 put his nose there, would be pleased ?'* 
 
 " As to that," said Mr. Thomas, " it 
 is nothing to the matter ! Every stranger 
 that goes through the country, visits the 
 wonderful Falls, and things not to be 
 found out of Wales I believe, and if Mr. 
 Rhanvellyn, the good old master, don't 
 find the visitors in fault, I don't see 
 what the Marquis has to do with it." 
 
 *'Youdont," cried the Doctor. " May 
 be you don't ! and yet the Marquis may 
 let people know he has too," 
 
 "'^fci.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 37 
 
 Mr. Biggie's curiosity being awakened 
 he begged to know how the Marquis had 
 any command in a place where he had 
 always understood from his friend Mr. 
 Thomas, that the whole property for 
 many miles round belonged to a Mr. 
 Rhanvellyn ; and the Doctor replied as 
 follows : 
 
 " The Marquis Sir," said the Doctor, 
 " I. beg pardon Sir,"' interrupted Mr. 
 Diggle, " but what Marquis ? what is his 
 
 title r 
 
 " What don't you know that ?" said 
 the Doctor rather scornfully, "why the 
 Marquis, the Marquis of Hardenbrass ! 
 one of these days, when his old father dies, 
 he will be a Duke. The old Duke of 
 Trimingham holds out well, considering 
 he is above eighty, and blind and deaf. 
 But the Doctors keep him alive ! I 
 would not be conceited 1 but I may say I 
 keep him alive ! I visit him every day, 
 just to see that his attendants treat him 
 properly and that he does no mischief/^
 
 38 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL 
 
 " I thought Doctor," said the Sergeant, 
 " that that Doctor that comes down once 
 in two months was the chief in com- 
 mand ? the general ?'* 
 
 " He r* said Stirit, " he ! why he only 
 comes for form's sake, and I was brought 
 here on purpose to be the overseer. I go 
 every day, as I told you, sometimes of- 
 tener, just as the case requires, and won- 
 derfully well the Duke is, considering 
 his disorder." 
 
 " What is his disorder ?" asked Dig- 
 gle eagerly. *' Madness, Sir! madness !" 
 answered Dr. Stirit, " why where have 
 you lived not to know that he is as mad 
 as a mad dog. I thought every body 
 knew the pranks he played some forty 
 years ago, when the Marquis was but 
 about sixteen. He took such whims into 
 his head, and set his tenants in different 
 places after such jobs, that many of them 
 died, and, as I have heard, there was 
 one fine estate, that his father or grandfa- 
 ther, or somebody had got by good luck ;
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 59 
 
 and though he knew his title to it might 
 be questioned, he racked his tenants up, 
 till one or two of them, sharper than the 
 rest, set about seeking the man whose 
 right it was. And what do you think 
 they did ? Why the right owner was 
 poor, for his family had been ruined, and 
 the tenants all agreed and made a purse, 
 and so, when the thing came to be tried, 
 the lawyers the Duke had on his side, 
 let themselves be quite out-talked by a 
 new sharp fellow the right heir had em- 
 ployed ; who having the right cause in 
 hand, fairly won all, and the Duke was 
 forced to give up possession/' 
 
 " Aye," said Diggle, " I remember 
 that story now you mention it, but I 
 thought the old Duke had been dead 
 long since. Where is he now ?'* 
 
 *' Where? here at Rhanvellyn Castle, 
 to be sure !" answered Stirit, " and that 
 is the reason the Marquis has forbid any 
 body to go into the grounds I it is for fear 
 of disturbing the Duke/*
 
 40 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 " How can a man who can neither 
 hear nor see be disturbed by visitors?" 
 said Thomas. 
 
 " How ?" replied Stirit, '* why when 
 he goes out they might meet him/' 
 
 " That might disturb them^ if all they 
 say of his white beard, and his hallooing 
 and his noises be true/* saidThomas, ''but 
 I don't see how it should trouble himy 
 
 " May be not '/' rejoined Stirit angrily, 
 " but the Marquis does not choose it, 
 and that's enough, and if I catch Mr. 
 Blackwig there upon the premises, he'll 
 remember it, that's all/' 
 
 " I can understand that," said Diggle, 
 " the unwillingness to admit strangers is 
 a poetic feeling, and the Marquis, as I 
 have heard, is a man of delicate sensa- 
 tions ! But now I do not comprehend 
 why he should choose to confine his 
 father on the estate of another/' 
 
 " Sir, it IS not the estate of another, it 
 is his, and if you'll promise me not to blab, 
 I'll tell you ail I know," cried Stirit,
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 41 
 
 " Ah !*' said the Sergeant, " you mean 
 all you choose we should know ! Ah ! 
 Doctor, Doctor ! you're a sly one." 
 
 The Doctor took no notice of this, but 
 proceeded. " Mr. Rhanvellyn, Sir, as 
 every body knows, is a very good old 
 gentleman, and had but one fault in the 
 world, and that was a love of gaming. I 
 remember when I lived in the — Lord 
 bless me ! what was I going to say ! I 
 had forgot myself. Well, the Marquis 
 does every thing well, as Fve heard say, 
 and he likes play too ! and there was his 
 cousin, the famous man at Newmarket, 
 and the Duke of Trunch, and Squire 
 Rhanvellyn, they played once for three 
 days and nights, as I've heard, and at 
 last. Squire Rhanvellyn got up with the 
 loss of a hundred and eighty thousand 
 pounds. Well, before that he was so 
 poor, and so much in debt, that it was 
 thought he must sell Rhanvellyn, which 
 grieved him, as he had bought the land 
 round the old place where the Castle
 
 42 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 once stood every way, and built that 
 grand Castle, so the Marquis offered to 
 do him a favor, and to take the estate of 
 Rhanvellyn to nurse for him ! ha! ha! ha! 
 The Marquis, moreover, lent him some 
 money, on condition of his making a 
 will to leave the Castle to him for a cer- 
 tain number of years, but this Mr. Rhan- 
 vellyn would not, as he said, if he gave 
 it up for his own life it was enough. At 
 last, however, it was settled by the Duke 
 of Trunch for both parties, and to give 
 Mr. Rhanvellyn all the advantage they 
 could, it was agreed that he should give 
 a bond to let the Marquis have all as long 
 as the old Duke lived, and Mr. Rhanvel- 
 lyn, they say, made a will, and bound 
 himself on the honor of a gentleman, not 
 to make another, by which, he left Rhan- 
 vellyn Castle and the w^hole property to 
 the Marquis for the life of the Duke of 
 Trimingham.^* 
 
 " And who gets it after?" asked Dig- 
 gle, '' IS there no heir?'*
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 43 
 
 "No!" said Stirit, " if Mr. Rhanvellyn 
 had died without a will, they say, some 
 distant relation he never saw, would have 
 had the whole, and cut out his daughter! 
 she will have all, when the Duke of 
 Trimingham dies, her father left it to her." 
 
 "I wonder where the good family is 
 now," said Mr. Puffin. '' I know they 
 went to live beyond sea, just at the time 
 I took possession of the ground here." 
 
 " No," said Stirit, " you are mistaken ! 
 Miss Rhanvellyn was abroad a long time 
 before, and they say, her father went to 
 her. It*s now about two years and a half 
 since — " 
 
 The Doctor was proceeding in his dis- 
 course, when Mrs. Puffin informed him, 
 that he was sent for. He took his hat and 
 sallied forth, and we will do the same, 
 having concluded our chapter.
 
 ( 44 ) 
 
 CHAP. VI. 
 
 Some Account of Dr, Stirit and his Popularity in 
 Pont-y-V — . — The Advantages and DisadvaU' 
 tages of sleeping in an ill-finished *^partment. — 
 Mr, Haverill indisposed. — Joan's Kindness, — 
 Mr, Haverill sets vut to Rhanvellyn, 
 
 X HE curiosity of Mr. Diggle being insa- 
 tiable, he no sooner saw the door fairly 
 closed on Doctor Stirit, than he made 
 particular inquiries respecting him, and 
 heard a part of what we are about to re- 
 late to our Readers. 
 
 Doctor Stirit was a person who some 
 years before had kept, what is called a 
 
 general shop in the town of B ; but 
 
 either through mismanagement, misfor- 
 tune, or roguery, he failed, was made a 
 bankrupt, and quitted his neighbourhood 
 to begin the world again, in a new line. 
 He served in one or two families in various
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 45 
 
 stations, and at last, became butler to 
 
 the Duke of Trunch. Being detected in 
 
 some mal-practices, he was on the eve of 
 
 ruin, when the Marquis of Hardenbrass 
 
 having occasion for a person with some 
 
 ability, and no conscience, took him into 
 
 his service, and employed him in various 
 
 capacities. When he brought his father, 
 
 the Dukeof Trimingham, to Rhanvellyn, 
 
 he established Stirit in an apothecary's 
 
 shop at Pont-y-V — , fixing upon him a 
 
 comfortable income, and giving him the 
 
 supremecommand in his absence ; ordering 
 
 that no stranger should be permitted to 
 
 enter the grounds of Rhanvellyn ; and 
 
 chusing to leave Stirit at Pont-y-V — , 
 
 rather than in the Castle, as travellers 
 
 who visited that place, usually halted at 
 
 the Cheese-toaster. It had so happened, 
 
 that the stranger in the black wig had 
 
 escaped the notice of Stirit, though he 
 
 regularly visited the house, and the 
 
 landlord and landlady knew their own 
 
 interest too well to inform him of his ar-
 
 46 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 rival, being aware, that by causing the 
 Castle grounds to be shut, and even once 
 or twice by insulting visitors who de- 
 manded admittance, he had done them 
 some injury. 
 
 He settled at Pont-y-V — , about a 
 month before the Duke was brought 
 down, and had never quitted his post 
 till eleven months before the time we 
 are speaking of; then, he was sent for 
 express to London, and after being three 
 weeks absent, he returned and resumed 
 his functions. 
 
 The inhabitants of the town all de- 
 tested him, and if he had had nothing 
 but his business to depend upon, he 
 would have starved. Among the rest, 
 Mr. Thomas, a respectable tradesman, 
 who had saved a little independence, ex- 
 ceedingly disliked both him and the 
 Marquis: he, in common with the rest 
 of the neighbourhood, considered the 
 Marquis as a sort of gambler, and though 
 Miss Rhanvellyn had not been at all
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 47 
 
 known there, she was universally pitied, 
 and her state of undeserved poverty, 
 was often a topic of conversation at the 
 tea-tables of Pont-y-V — . 
 
 The night proving extremely rainy, 
 Mr. Thomas and his friend the poet 
 remained tolerably late. As soon as they 
 were gone, the stranger, whom we beg to 
 introduce to our readers by his real name, 
 Arthur Haverill, rung his bell, and order- 
 ed his bill, including his bed for that even- 
 ing. This he discharged, then putting a 
 pound note in the hand of Joan, who 
 thanked him in Welsh, her joy having 
 made her forget her English, he wished 
 her good night, and locked his door. 
 
 Mr. Haverill's room was situated im- 
 mediately over that called the best room 
 below stairs, and from the circumstance of 
 that not being underdrawn, he had heard 
 the whole conversation that passed. As 
 he was concerned to become the subject 
 of discussion, and to be obnoxious to the 
 great Doctor Stirit, whose history he had
 
 48 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 heard as well as the rest of the discourse, 
 he determined, if the morning was tolera- 
 bly fine, to quit his inn, and to go to some 
 other spot, he hardly knew or cared 
 where. 
 
 Having then settled his affairs as we 
 have said, he walked some time about his 
 room in deep thought, and at last prepar- 
 ed to undress himself, but was obliged to 
 desist from a sudden spasm in his sto- 
 mach or chest. 
 
 On searching his dressing-case, he dis- 
 covered that he had none of the medicine 
 which he was in the habit of taking on 
 these attacks ; and rainy and bad as the 
 night was, he was under the necessity of 
 ringing his bell, and requesting Joan to 
 carry his recipe to an apothecary to be 
 made up immediately. 
 
 Joan, who pitied his beautiful face, as 
 she told her mistress, did not hesitate a 
 moment. She took the paper after Mr. 
 Haverill had erased the physician's initi- 
 als, and went with it to Dr. Stirit. The 
 6
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 49 
 
 answer Dr. Stirit returned was>, that he 
 could not read Latin, and desired the 
 gentleman would write it in English. 
 
 This Mr. Haverill did not choose to do. 
 He sent Joan back to ask for a small 
 quantity of opium, or if he had none, a 
 little laudanum. Joan brought word the 
 second time, that he had neither in his 
 shop ; he had salts, and senna, and rhu- 
 barb, but no opium. Mr. Haverill then 
 took a little brandy, which relieved him, 
 and dismissed his attendant, but not till 
 she had informed him, that it was one of 
 the Marquis's people that had wanted 
 the Doctor ; and that the Marquis was 
 coming the next day to see the poor mad 
 old Duke. Having thus detailed all she 
 knew, she left Mr. Haverill, who went to 
 bed ; and having fortunately no return of 
 his pain, he slept till about six the follow- 
 ing morning. 
 
 When Mr. Haverill awoke, he opened 
 his window, which looked towards the 
 woods of Rhanvellyn, and perceiving that 
 
 VOL. I. D
 
 50 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 the light increased, and that the day, 
 when it came, would probably be fine, he 
 dressed himself, packed up his little port- 
 manteau, which he slung by a belt across 
 his shoulders ; and taking a mouthful of 
 biscuit and a small glass of brandy, he left 
 his room, and finding Joan already stir- 
 ring, he quitted the house by aback way, 
 and began to ascend the steep and dirty 
 road that led to Rhanvellyn. 
 
 Nothing can well be conceived morebar- 
 ren and dreary than the road from Pont-y- 
 V — towards Rhanvellyn, and the gloom- 
 iness of the morning contributed to render 
 it, if possible, more thaneveruninteresting. 
 Mr. Haverill proceeded slowly along, 
 sometimes turning to look at the little 
 town of Pont-y-Y — , which lay hardly 
 visible in the valley, while the summits 
 of the opposite mountains were already 
 tinged with the earliest rays of the rising 
 sun. Sometimes he stopped to watch the 
 few sheep that were scattered over the 
 hill that he was ascending, and sometimes
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. S I 
 
 to curse his fortune, and reflect on woes 
 that had already nearly cost him his life. 
 Having however ascended to a consi- 
 derable distance, he came to a part of the 
 road that was cut in the rock, and by a 
 sudden turn he was gratified with a view 
 of the sun rising in full majesty from be- 
 hind the wooded mountains of Rhanvel- 
 lyn. The road having become familiar to 
 him, he passed it without those sensations 
 of fear, and the sickness and giddiness 
 he had experienced the first time he tra- 
 velled over it. It was, as we said before, 
 cut in the solid rock, which rose almost 
 perpendicularly on one side, while on the 
 other, there was a precipice of the depth 
 of five or six hundred feet, at the bottom 
 of which rolled and foamed the rapid R — , 
 that rises at no great distance from this 
 place, in the mountains of Plinlimraon. 
 Sometimes the river, dashing over rocks, 
 formed beautiful cascades, and sent its 
 white foam to heaven ; and sometimes it 
 flowed calmly along till it met with a 
 
 D 2 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF 
 ILLINOIS LIBRARY
 
 52 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL, 
 
 fresh obstacle. Over one of these roar- 
 ing cascades, he crossed a bridge thrown 
 from mountain to mountain, and could 
 not help wondering how it was possible to 
 get horses to pass it with safety. 
 
 As the turns in the road were very ab- 
 rupt, he could sometimes have fancied that 
 he was shut out from the world, in a path- 
 less desert ; and sometimes he almost 
 wished it was so. At last he came in 
 sight of the Castle, situated on a beautiful 
 lawn, with a fine river flowing before it, 
 and mountains piled on rtiountains, wood- 
 ed to their very summits, in the form of 
 an amphitheatre beyond that.
 
 (53) 
 
 CHAP. VII. 
 
 A Peep at the Castle, with a few Hints respecting 
 its present Possessor. 
 
 In the course of the fortnight, during 
 which he had been resident at Pont-y- 
 V — , Mr. Haverill had more than once 
 visited the grounds of Rhanvellyn, and 
 had seen most of the remarkable pro- 
 spects, and beautiful peculiarities of the 
 place. He congratulated himself on be- 
 ginning once more to feel an interest in 
 surrounding objects, and ceasing to be 
 solely occupied by the waste within ; and 
 piqued perhaps by the idea of being for- 
 bidden to see the house, which he knew, 
 if he met Dr. Stirit, would probably be 
 the case ; he now, for the first time, felt a 
 desire to enter its walls. 
 
 In pursuance of this wish, and having 
 besides some desire to procure a breakfast,
 
 54 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL, 
 
 he walked up to the door of the hall, and 
 surveyed the front. 
 
 Every window was closed, as if no liv* 
 ing creature inhabited the edifice, (which 
 though called a Castle, was in fact a mo- 
 dern-built mansion, without any thing 
 castellated about it,) so he walked through 
 the colonnade, which led him round to 
 the back part of the North wing. 
 
 Here was a door with a bell, windows 
 that were opened, and chimnies that 
 smoked. He rung the bell, and waited 
 some time without receiving any answer 
 to his summons. He rung again, and a 
 man who appeared to be a foreigner look- 
 ed out of a window on the first floor, 
 and asked what he wanted, in French. 
 
 Mr. Haverill replied in the same lan- 
 guage, that he was a traveller attracted 
 by the beauty of the place, and that he 
 should be glad to purchase a breakfast, 
 and to be allowed to see the Castle. 
 
 The man was by this lime joined by 
 another, who surveyed the traveller very
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 55 
 
 earnestly, and then said to his compa- 
 nion in German, that the Doctor would 
 never know it, and they might as well 
 get a crown as not ; to which the man 
 assented. 
 
 Mr. Haverill understood German per- 
 fectly, but as they did not address him in 
 that language, he took no notice of what 
 they were saying, and the last comer 
 descending, opened the door, and admit- 
 ted him to a sort of servant's hall, where 
 was a very excellent breakfast of cold 
 meat, ale, and brandy. 
 
 The first speaker asked him in French, 
 what he would choose, and having taken 
 what was agreeable to him, listening 
 while he did so, to the consultation of 
 the men about how they should open the 
 doors, and which would be the best way 
 to lead him ; he laid half a crown on the 
 table, and begged they would shew him 
 the house, as he had a long way to go, 
 and was in haste. 
 
 One of the men, who it appeared did 
 D 4
 
 56 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 not speak Freiich, bid his comrade con- 
 duct him through the state rooms, and 
 excuse his going up stairs ; for, said 
 he, ** we may suffer, if we take him 
 up stairs ; he may remark that all is not 
 right." 
 
 Our hero asked himself mentally, how 
 he should be supposed to know when all 
 was not right, and began to suspect that 
 his entertainers had murdered their 
 charge : this idea, however, appeared 
 too absurd to be entertained a mo- 
 ment, as there could be no motive to 
 murder the Duke, but the contrary, 
 their places probably depending upon 
 his life. 
 
 The man took some keys from a 
 drawer, vowing that he could not read 
 the labels ; and desiring Mr. Haverill to 
 follow him, he opened the door of a pas- 
 sage that led to the hall in the centre of 
 the house. 
 
 This hall was of very large dimensions, 
 and an oval form, the floor a beautiful
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. SI 
 
 mosaic, chiefly composed of Anglesea 
 marble. On one side stood a fine an- 
 tique statue, a Bacchus seven feet high, 
 and opposite to it a bronze Vestal on a 
 stove with a lamp in her hand, and 
 clothed in gilded and highly burnished 
 drapery. 
 
 Mr. Haverill would have remained 
 long here, but his conductor hastened 
 him, and having only time to admire the 
 beautiful paintings round the cornice of 
 the hall, which were done by an eminent 
 artist, he followed the man into an ele- 
 gant drawing-room, furnished with silk 
 draperies, and a chimney-piece, which 
 was a fine piece of sculpture from Italy, of 
 white statuary marble on a yellow and 
 black ground. 
 
 The dining-room, from the window 
 of which was a most enchanting view, 
 was in the same elegant style, and the 
 whole house was filled with statues^ 
 busts, and pictures, which would have 
 D 5
 
 58 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 occupied even a casual observer, some 
 time. 
 
 " We must not stay long, Sir,'* said 
 the man, " for you will like to see the 
 libraries and the conservatory/' Mr, 
 Haverill assented, and had already vi- 
 sited two libraries exquisitely furnished, 
 and was preparing to see the third which 
 opened by folding doors into a conserva- 
 tory of great length, when a violent ring 
 at the bell made his guide start as if he 
 had seen a ghost. 
 
 '' Misericorde r^ cried he, "it is that 
 devil the Doctor." 
 
 " Well," said Haverill, " leave me 
 here, give me the keys of these doors 
 that are yet unopened, and go, if you are 
 wanted.*' 
 
 The man did as he was desired, and 
 returning hastily by the way he had 
 come, he left our hero to examine the 
 keys and open the doors himself. 
 
 We have been taught to consider a
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 59 
 
 well furnished house a very comfortable 
 thing, but as filling our chapters with a 
 list of furniture, could only reduce them 
 to the rank of an auctioneer's catalogue, 
 we forbear to enumerate the splendid 
 silks, and velvets, and moroccos, and pier- 
 glasses, &c. that Mr. Haverill saw at 
 Rhanvellyn. He could not help reflect- 
 ing, as he surveyed the scene before him, 
 on the madness of a man, who possessing 
 such things, could risk them on the cast 
 of a die, or the turning up of a card ! 
 and he concluded his reflections with a 
 curse on the Marquis, who was death 
 and destruction to those who most con- 
 fided in him. 
 
 " But a day will come,'^ said he, 
 " yes, a day of vengeance ; and his pre- 
 sent security will but render it the more 
 terrible/' 
 
 As Haverill uttered these words he 
 
 caught a glimpse of his own figure in a 
 
 superb mirror opposite to him. " Is it 
 
 possible," cried he, " can that meagre, 
 
 D 6
 
 60 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 haggard, aged figure, be the form of Ar- 
 thur Haverill ? I might appear before 
 my nearest friend, and he could not know 
 me." 
 
 No noise, no symptom of inhabitants 
 had reached Haverill in the apartments 
 he had traversed, and as he foundj by his 
 watch, that it was past noon, and he 
 wished to have a peep at the rooms on: 
 the first floor, he examined his keys, and 
 was proceeding to the stair-case, when he 
 heard a person descending. Not know- 
 ing who this might be, and being afraid 
 of occasioning any injury to the men who 
 had admitted him, he placed himself be- 
 hind a large bronze statue in the room 
 he was in, and waited to observe who 
 approached. 
 
 In about five minutes he saw the Doc^ 
 tor accompanied by his own guide, wha 
 looked round in agony lest the stranger 
 should be seen. They passed without 
 speaking, and went through the octagon 
 library into a small apartment, the door
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 6l 
 
 of which was so well concealed, that 
 Haverill had not perceived it. He stood 
 still in his hiding-pl>ice, from whence he 
 had a view of the whole range of apart- 
 ments in that direction. 
 
 After about a qiiarter of an hour, 
 which appeared at least four times its 
 own length, they returned, and Stirit, in 
 wretched French, bid the man open all 
 the doors and windows to air the house. 
 The man said he would, and asked when 
 the family would come. To which Stirit 
 answered *' all the servants will be here 
 to-night, and the Marquis to-morrow, he 
 always travels as fast as if the devil drove 
 him. I shall return in an hour and a half, 
 or two hours, to take charge of the north- 
 ern wing." 
 
 They then disappeared, and our hero 
 descended from his pedestal. In about 
 five minutes the German returned, and 
 prevented him from exploring the hidden 
 door. He seemed satisfied with finding 
 him in the conservatory, and telling him
 
 62 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 that the family was expected, he con- 
 ducted him to the entrance, and having 
 received his fee, wished him a' pleasant 
 journey.
 
 (63) 
 
 CHAP. VIII. 
 
 Mr, Haverill visits old Servants. — He returns to- 
 wards Pont-y-V — . — A Cavalcade, and the amus* 
 ing Adventure of the Doctor and the Pedlar. 
 
 '' There is something mysterious here! 
 something I don't understand," said Ha*. 
 verill, as he went on his way towards a 
 little cottage, at the extremity of what 
 he had learned, was originally intended 
 for Miss Rhanvellyn's flower garden, and 
 with the inhabitants of which he had 
 formed an acquaintance, having break- 
 fasted with them more than once. 
 
 The man and his wife were Welch, 
 the woman spoke tolerable English, but 
 the man was hardly intelligible. 
 
 Haverill entered their cottage as usual, 
 and unstrapping his portmanteau, he re- 
 quested a glass of whey, if they had any.
 
 64 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 " It grows warm now,'* said he, " and I 
 am tired." 
 
 " The more'^s the pity for Hur Honor," 
 replied the wife, " for hur looks sad iW^ 
 
 ^'Tm only tired," said Haverill. '^Well^ 
 how are the flowers, as fine as ever?" 
 
 " Pure gay, Your Honor, and not a 
 weed to be seen," said the old w^oman, 
 ** But dear, we toil and grub, and the 
 lady don't come. 1 fear she never will, 
 Saint David bless her !" 
 
 " Did you ever see her ?" asked 
 Haverill. 
 
 " See her ? to be sure, Your Honor, I 
 see her when she was as little as a kid, 
 and as pretty too, a darling. But now 
 queer men live in the Castle," said the 
 woman, 
 
 " Who are they ?" asked Haverill. 
 
 " That's more than I can tell Your 
 Honor, but I do believe they keep a 
 mad Duke there, for there is a sad roar- 
 ing and tearing, and nobody's been in 
 the Castle since the Squire left it.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 65 
 
 «' Did he live much here ?" said 
 Haverill. 
 
 " Not since his wife died, Your Honor,'* 
 answered the woman, " and then the fine 
 things were not put in. Then the squire 
 took the young- lady away, and it was to 
 heddicate, I think they said/* 
 
 " How long is that since ?'* asked 
 Haverill. 
 
 <« Why, let me see, Your Honor, the 
 young lady was just five year old when 
 her mother, the good lady died, and that 
 is nigh fifteen year ago. She was a 
 sweet good lady, and while she lived, the 
 squire, as IVe heard, kept good company, 
 but he went off sadly after; he built 
 houses, as I've heard the old steward say, 
 just like the mad Duke*s son, who pulls 
 down whole streets, they say, when the 
 fit takes him, in his own villages ; and he 
 learnt too, to game of him, and the old 
 steward said, he did, that the Marquis 
 had ruined more young men than enough,
 
 66 HARDENBRASS ANt) HAVERILL, 
 
 and old ones too. I wish he may never 
 come here/' 
 
 " I hear that he is expected to-mor- 
 row/' said Haverill. 
 
 " St. David forbid, to-morrow ?" cried 
 the woman. 
 
 " I wonder where Mr. Rhanvellyn is 
 now?'' said our hero. 
 
 The old woman shook her head, and 
 told him, " that it was a sad thing to say, 
 but she had heard that he was not very 
 much like the man he had once been, but 
 St. David knew best, both that and 
 where he was, better than she could be 
 expected to know." 
 
 Haverill found upon inquiry, that the 
 nearest town to Rhanvellyn was at the 
 distance of at least twelve miles, and as 
 his strength was not yet restored, he de- 
 termined to dine with the old gardener 
 and his wife, and then to return to his 
 quarters at Pont-y-V — . 
 
 About half past four, then Mr. Haver-
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 6? 
 
 ill left his old host and hostess, and set 
 out on his return to Pont-y-Y , where he 
 supposed he might remain in peace and 
 without any molestation from Doctor 
 Stirit, whose determination to visit the 
 Duke of Trimingham he had not for- 
 gotten, any more than the time that was 
 to elapse before his return to the castle. 
 
 " I shall not meet him,"' said Haverill, 
 " for it is now after the hour he men- 
 tioned. But why should I care, whether 
 I meet him or not? He is too contemp- 
 tible to engage my thoughts for a mo- 
 ment, and all this uncomfortable feeling 
 is only the remains of my weakness ! 
 the nervous irritation consequent on such 
 sufferings as mine. If it were the man, 
 who has most injured me indeed ! there 
 would be some reason for all this ! and I 
 could with pleasure clasp him in my arms 
 and plunge with him from yon rocking 
 bridge into the gulph below ! thus, hav- 
 ing revenge and peace at once."' Other 
 thoughts, that proved revenge more occu-
 
 68 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 pied his mind than any thing peaceable, 
 made him almost insensible to the beauty 
 of the scenery ; but at last, the contrast 
 between its present appearance, and that 
 it had exhibited in the morning by de- 
 grees engaged his attention, and he halted 
 and lingered more than once, to watch 
 the R — dashing and sparkling among 
 the rocks of blue slate. 
 
 He had almost reached the romantic 
 bridge that united two mountains, and 
 led to the narrow and dangerous road that 
 was cut in the solid rock, when hearing a 
 horse approaching, he stopped to give 
 it room to pass. The man who rode 
 it, was one of the Marquises grooms ; 
 who, spite of his natural boldness, had 
 trembled more than once, as he travelled 
 from Pont-y-V — to Rhanvellyn. His 
 horse, used to other roads and other ob- 
 jects, seemed inclined to take offence at 
 every thing, and started when it saw Ha- 
 veril. 
 
 " Curse you, Duke! do you mean ta
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 69 
 
 kill me in this frightful country ? softly, 
 softly ! — hush, hush !"— cried the man. 
 
 " You had better dismount," said 
 Haverill, " a step further would plunge 
 you into the river." 
 
 The groom took his advice, and hav- 
 ing led his horse by our hero, he said, if 
 he was going to that d — d place in the 
 bottom there, he advised him, either 
 to make great haste, or to wait, till a 
 carriage, which brought some of the ser- 
 vants, was past : *' If you meet them on 
 that stone shelf there, friend, you will 
 hardly escape being crushed between the 
 wheels and the rock, and after your civi- 
 lity to me, I should be sorry for that," 
 said the man. 
 
 As Haverill was in no haste, having no 
 object, but rest, in view, on his return 
 to the Cheese- toaster, he perferred re- 
 maining on what he considered the right 
 side of the bridge, and having thanked 
 the man for his information, and learnt 
 from him, that he had orders to meet the
 
 70 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Marquis at Pont-y-V — , at four the next 
 day, he scrambled up a part of the moun- 
 tain, where a projecting point had left a 
 sort of seat, and from whence he had a 
 sublime view of the country, and com- 
 pletely commanded the bridge, and the 
 first reach^ as it might be called, of the 
 road cut in the rock. The voices of those 
 who approached were discernible long 
 before their forms were visible, on ac- 
 count of the many abrupt turns in the 
 way, and Haverill was pleased with their 
 indistinct sounds, and the almost num- 
 berless echoes the mountains returned. 
 It was an occupation, a something to do, 
 to watch their gradual approach, and guess 
 how near they were ; and those of our 
 readers, who either have either been very 
 idle, or very unhappy, will know, that 
 empio3^ment, however trifling or unin- 
 teresting, gives pleasure. 
 
 The first person who passed the point 
 which rendered him visible to Haverill, 
 was Doctor Stirit mounted on a Welsh
 
 HARDENER ASS AND HAVERILL. 71 
 
 poney, and riding with no small conse- 
 quence in the van of the company. He 
 was followed by two men on horseback, 
 and a handsome barouche which con- 
 tained some of the household; in fact, no 
 other than the French cook and an as- 
 sistant, who had preceded the Marquis, 
 to make preparations for him at Rhan- 
 vellyn, and had left sauces and particular 
 directions for his entertainment, at every 
 place, where he was to stop. 
 
 This important personage was cursing 
 the country, the roads, the horses, and 
 the drivers, in his native tongue, and even 
 his master did not escape his notice, on 
 this occasion ; he wished most earnestly, 
 that the Marquis might have his flesh 
 shaken and bruised, till it was as tender 
 as potted woodcock, and as black as 
 pickled walnuts, for thinking of coming 
 into a country, fit only for birds, beasts 
 and madmen. 
 
 Dr. Stirit had reached one end of the 
 bridge, and habit having rendered the
 
 72 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 passage of it familiar to him, was about to 
 cross it with much composure, when, he 
 was suddenly stopped by a travelling 
 pedlar with his shop on his back ; who 
 was in haste to reach Pont-y-V — , and 
 thought there was room to pass the ca- 
 valcade. 
 
 Exceedingly indignant at the man for 
 pressing forward. Doctor Stirit called to 
 him, in an imperious tone, to go back and 
 stop where there was more room, unless 
 he meant to be kicked down the moun- 
 tain. This sort of address by no means 
 pleased the pedlar, who was a sturdy 
 fellow, and he replied in the true York- 
 shire dialect "Kicked? What mun by 
 thou?"' This Stirit did not understand, 
 and to shew his contempt, he pushed his 
 horse forward to the middle of the bridge, 
 where the pedlar stood disputing the 
 passage. But if Dr. Stirit did not care 
 for the strong hardy features of the man, 
 his poney did, for when became to with- 
 in about three feet of him, he made a re-
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 73 
 
 trograde movement, and Stirit, aware of 
 his danger, if this sort of minuet conti- 
 nued, threw himself off his saddle, and 
 having in his fright let the bridle slip 
 from his hands, the poney dexterously 
 passed the pedlar, and continued his 
 journey, at a good round trot to Rhan- 
 vellyn. 
 
 The whole cavalcade, having halted 
 during the parley on the bridge, the 
 pedlar attempted to ghde betwixt the 
 carriage and the rock, but Stirit assaulted 
 him, and almost drove him, by the sud- 
 denness of the attack, down the precipice. 
 Haverill w^as on the point of descending 
 to assist the man, when he saw him seize 
 Stirit, and lift him from the ground, with 
 as much ease as he would have raised a 
 cat. He ran to the bridge with him, 
 and holding him over the side, he told 
 him, that he now saw what he could do, 
 and, if he did not give orders to his peo- 
 ple to let him pass without molestation, 
 he would, certainly, make an example of 
 
 VOL. r. E
 
 74^ HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 him. He then, having placed him on his 
 feet again, turned towards Pont-y-V — , 
 and neither Englishman, Frenchman, nor 
 Welshman, thought proper to throw any 
 obstacle in his way.
 
 ( 75 ) 
 
 CHAP. IX. 
 
 A Storm mthout and loithin. — Mr. Diggles great 
 Powers as a Mediator — his holy Fervours as a 
 Joannite, — A Battle — and the happy Discovery 
 it occasioned, ~- ^n Arrival, 
 
 The delay Mr. Haverill had suiFered on 
 account of the arrival of the cook and 
 his party, made him late j and before he 
 reached Pont-y-V — , he found, from the 
 appearance of the atmosphere, that the 
 evening would probably be as stormy as 
 the preceding one had been. He was 
 exceedingly fatigued; and, having en- 
 quired of Mrs. Puffin whether his apart- 
 ment was disengaged, he ordered some 
 tea in his own room, and when he had 
 drunk it, went to bed. There he soon 
 fell asleep ; for, luckily for him, the best 
 room was unoccupied, and he would 
 
 E 2
 
 76 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 probably have enjoyed a good night's 
 rest, but for a thunder-storm without, 
 and a little fracas within, one of which 
 (we never exactly ascertained which) 
 awoke him from the most comfortable 
 sleep he had enjoyed for some months. 
 The situation of his room gave him the 
 advantage of hearing all that passed; 
 and the first sentence that struck his ear 
 was from the mouth of Mrs. Puffin. 
 
 " You must then, you Velsh thief, 
 you ! — You must ! — as I live, there 
 has been nobody, gentle nor simple, in 
 that there box, but you. Aren't I like 
 to know, seeing I smuggled it over vrom 
 Wallansheens myself? I sewed it inside 
 my flannel petticoat, I did ; — and I sold 
 it all to some great ladies, I did ! — all 
 but that piece I cut off, seeing it was 
 over-measure of the fourteen yards! — 
 and that, vith the others I had, trimmed 
 me a cap and frill ! — and now its gone ! 
 -—and if you don't find it, you beast
 
 HARPENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 77 
 
 you, I'll have you up before Justice Hell- 
 borough, I will; and he'll sift you through 
 and through, he will !" 
 
 To this, Joan rephed, *' that she knew 
 nothing of her lace ; that she was no 
 thief, seeing she had as good blood in 
 her veins as any English of them all j 
 and that she was ready to go before Jus- 
 tice Hellborough, though every body 
 knew what kis judgments were worth, a 
 Hell-Kite!" 
 
 « Tak care, lass," cried the pedlar, 
 who was drinking his ale in the kit- 
 chen ; " thou'd better nut play with edge- 
 tools!" 
 
 " I play with no tools, not I," said 
 Joan. " I meddle with nothing that is 
 not my own ; and you may search me 
 when you will." 
 
 " Gi me another quart o' yal, first," 
 said the pedlar, ** for I want to finish my 
 supper and go to bed." 
 
 Mrs, Puffin ordered Joan to wait upon 
 E 3
 
 78 HARBENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 the gentleman, and give her the key of 
 her box, which she refused^ saying, that 
 she might lose her finery as well as other 
 folks. This reply would, doubtless, have 
 produced another debate more violent 
 than the first, had not the sergeant en- 
 tered from his sanctum sanctorumy where 
 he had been enjoying the luxury of un- 
 buckling his legs, and sleeping after the 
 fatigues of the morning, and, in a more 
 peremptory manner than usual, com- 
 manded peace 5 vowing, that the clack of 
 women's tongues was more than the first 
 attack of fifty thousand men. Mrs. VuIl- 
 ^n muttered, that she would either have 
 her Wallansheens or her revenge on the 
 thief J and would have been as loud as 
 ever in ^we minutes, had not Mr. Tho- 
 mas and Poet Diggle stepped in to shel- 
 ter themselves from the rain. 
 
 A dispute of any kind was a treat to 
 Mr. Diggle, who thought he had as great 
 a talent for settling all debated points,
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 79 
 
 as for making verses, or foretelling events^ 
 in both which sciences he considered 
 himself without a rival. 
 
 As soon, then, as Mrs. Puffin had fur- 
 nished the gentlemen with what they 
 wanted, and her husband had taken his 
 place at their table, Mr Diggle desired 
 to know what were the merits of the 
 case; and Mrs. Puffin, at some length, 
 complained of the loss she had sustained 
 by the roguery of Joan, who was no bet- 
 ter than a Welsh thief, of a piece of Va- 
 lenciennes' lace, worth about twenty shil- 
 lings. Joan, on her part, took Saint 
 David to witness, tliat she had not seen 
 the lace ; and vowed, that she believed 
 the devil was in the house, for now there 
 was nothing but fighting and quarrelling 
 in it. 
 
 " Young woman," said Diggle, " per- 
 haps you are nearer the truth than you 
 are aware of! That malevolent and 
 ever-to-be-dreaded creator of mundane 
 disturbances has, probably, taken on him- 
 E 4
 
 80 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL, 
 
 self the human form to work thee woe^ 
 Happy art thou, if thou art of the seal- 
 ed! Happy if thou believest in the 
 Lord, and the sent of the Lord, the Holy 
 Virgin, who shall conceive and bear a 
 son ! Happy, if thou hast made an of- 
 fering to the holy babe yet unborn, for 
 then Satan shall not prevail against thee ! 
 — then shall the star of righteousness and 
 noon-day splendour shed its flickering 
 rays about thee ; penetrate to thy most in- 
 ward parts ; make thee all light within ; 
 and, bursting from thee with a sound 
 more terrible than the fall of the tower 
 of Babel, astound, astonish thy oppo- 
 nent." 
 
 While the eloquent Diggle made this 
 flaming speech, Joan eyed him with great 
 complacency. She thought, and rightly 
 too, that she had discovered a true dis- 
 ciple of the holy Johanna, whose name 
 was much reverenced in that part of the 
 country 5 and, when Diggle had done, 
 she dropped him a low curtsey, saying,
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 81 
 
 that she was truly sealed, for she had paid 
 a shilling to be done right. 
 
 Upon this, Diggle clasped her in his 
 arms, in token of brotherly love, and 
 likewise to gratify his own holy fervours, 
 by a kiss of the blooming Joan, who, 
 though not handsome, was young and 
 buxom, and suited the Poet's taste. But 
 though Joan, (or, as he chose to call her, 
 Joanna,) suited the Poet's taste, he did 
 not suit her's ; and, listening to her na- 
 tural dislike to be kissed by him, rather 
 than the reverence his holy character in- 
 spired her with, she struggled against 
 him, and as he sat on a crazy chair, 
 threw him off his balance, so that he fell, 
 and bore her down with hi n in so un- 
 lucky a direction, that his elbow struck 
 the sergeant's head, then bending for- 
 wards to a glass of brandy and water 
 which he was conveying to his mouth. 
 The Sergeant dashed his hand on the 
 table, where the glasses leapt up and 
 started, as if afraid j and his wife making 
 E 5
 
 S2 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 a most ill-timed effort to save the wreck, 
 contrived to overturn both table and 
 guests, and received so severe a blow on 
 the face from the two wooden legs of her 
 lord, that she fairly cried out from 
 agony. 
 
 The Pedlar good humouredly came to 
 their assistance, and was attacked for his 
 pains by a terrier dog that Mr. Thomas 
 had brought with him 5 and which, after 
 barking as loud as he could, to fill up the 
 chorus of horrid noises, seized the Pedlar 
 by the heel, as he was helping Mr. Tho- 
 mas to rise. With one blow of his fist, 
 the Pedlar laid Vixen sprawling on the 
 ground j and Mr. Thomas, though he was 
 helped up by him, threatened to prosecute 
 him for the murder of his favourite dog. 
 The Pedlar, who was not a man to be in- 
 sulted with impunity, collared Mr. Tho- 
 mas, and shook him till his intestines rat- 
 tled like peas in a pan ; and, while Mrs. 
 Puffin was raising her warrior, and ar- 
 ranging the bandage on his head, which
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 83 
 
 had not been removed since the battle 
 of the day before, but had now slipped, 
 down, Joan was revenging herself for 
 some liberties the Poet indulged himself 
 in, by fastening her teeth upon his nose, 
 where the marks of them remain to this 
 day. 
 
 The repeated cries of " Murder !" in- 
 duced Mr. Haverill to get out of bed ; 
 and he hastily dressed himself, and enter- 
 ed the room at the moment we have de- 
 scribed. 
 
 His appearance restored their recol- 
 lection to some of the people concerned, 
 among whom was the landlady, who apo- 
 logized for disturbing him. She was go- 
 ing to tell how all this happened, when 
 she suddenly exclaimed: 
 
 " As sure as I'm alive, my husband 
 has the lace on his head ! Wherever did 
 you get it Captain?" 
 
 " D — me, what does it signify ? I know 
 nothing about no lace!" replied Puffin. 
 
 ** It's here, however," said his wife, at 
 E 6
 
 84? HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 the same time exhibiting the bloody rem- 
 nant, which Puffin had taken from the 
 chair he was placed in, at the first battle 
 recorded in this true and authentic his- 
 tory. Joan was exulting in this proof of 
 her innocence, and the Sergeant and his 
 wife picking up the broken glasses, when 
 an equipage drove to the door, and call- 
 ed their attention another way/
 
 ( ^■'i ), 
 
 CHAP. X. 
 
 An Account qftuko arrived, — Various Conversations > 
 — Mr. HaverilVs strange Conduct. — He is sup- 
 posed to be mad. — Mr. Diggle takes an Opportu- 
 nity of distivguishing himself. — The Sergeant i$ 
 isiliins to do him Honour. 
 
 The carriage that stopped at the Cheese- 
 toaster was a neat chariot with a ba- 
 rouche seat, and a widow's lozenge on 
 the pannel. An old lady about sixty, a 
 young one who looked not more than 
 eighteen, and a maid servant, got out of 
 it, and entered the house. They were 
 welcomed by Mrs. Puffin with many curt- 
 sies, and conducted into the best room, 
 where they found our hero and the rest 
 of the party, as described in the last 
 chapter. 
 
 When they saw the state of the wound- 
 ed, and the general aspect of affairs, they
 
 86 HARDENBRASS ANB HAVERILL. 
 
 shrunk back ; and the younger one said, if* 
 they had no other room, her aunt would 
 sit down at the kitchen-fire, and take a 
 little mulled wine. 
 
 " Aye, aye, my dear, any where," said 
 the aunt ; ** it would be a pity to disturb 
 the harmony within." 
 
 " Lord preserve me, my lady ! yoii sit 
 down here where every body comes," 
 cried the landlady ; "1 can't bide the 
 thoughts of it, my lady. But Your Ho- 
 nour's Ladyship is very good to be sure, 
 and there was a haxident in the best 
 room." 
 
 " More than one, I think, ma'am," re- 
 plied the old lady ; *' but I must beg to 
 know whether we can be accommodated 
 here to-night ; for really, after being once 
 overturned, I'm afraid to go further." 
 
 '* Oh dear yes, my lady ! " cried Mrs. 
 Puffin, <' we have wery good haccommo- 
 dations, wery good indeed they be. Would 
 your ladyship like to see them, may be?" 
 
 " My dear," said the aunt to her niece.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 87 
 
 " will you be so good as to see the room 
 up stairs, arid direct Dunn to get my bed 
 ready?" 
 
 The young lady assented, and followed 
 Mrs. Puffin up stairs into an apartment 
 over the kitchen, which, from the dark- 
 ness and raininess of the evening, felt 
 and looked less comfortable than usual. 
 It contained two beds, which the young 
 lady said would do very well, provided 
 they were dry and clean. She then in- 
 spected the beds and blankets, and find- 
 ing them very nice, she told Mrs. Puffin 
 to have a pan of coals run through each 
 bed, and that her maid would give her 
 sheets from the carriage. 
 
 Mrs. Puffin then expressed her sorrow 
 " for that" she had no room for the la- 
 dies to sup in, till the gentlemen moved 
 out of the best, where the skirmish had 
 been. The lady said they had been over- 
 turned, and the kitchen-fire, perhaps, 
 would be better for her aunt, who had 
 been exposed to the rain. " And, noWj
 
 88 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 let her have her mulled wine if you please^ 
 ma'am," continued she, *' for I am afraid 
 of her taking cold/* 
 
 The young lady was about to step down 
 the first stair, on her return to the kitchen, 
 when she was stopped by our hero, who, 
 being of no farther use below, was going 
 to his room. 
 
 " Bless me. Sir, I beg pardon 1*' said 
 she, stepping back to the great injury 
 of the landlady, whose great toe suffer- 
 ed on the occasion. 
 
 Mr. Haverill mechanically stepped 
 back too, to make her room to pass ; but 
 though they were neither of them very 
 large, the staircase was too narrow to al- 
 low the lady to venture ; and Haverill, 
 who thought it was always most polite to 
 render others as easy as possible, made 
 an effort to advance, intending thus to 
 leave her the passage open. 
 
 At the moment he advanced, she ad- 
 vanced too ; and they met in so unlucky 
 a way, that they involuntarily caught
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 89 
 
 hold of each other to avoid falhng ; and 
 Haverill no sooner felt the young lady in 
 his arms, than darting up the step, he 
 threw her from him with violence, ex- 
 claiming, " Never, cursed woman !" and 
 rushing into his room, locked the door. 
 
 The landlady uttered, *« Christ save 
 us !" but the young lady bid her be quiet. 
 <* You will alarm my aunt,'* said she, 
 " and the man has not hurt me. Does 
 he live here ?'' 
 
 " Oh dear no, Miss ; he is but a travel- 
 ler,'* said Mrs. Puffin ^ " and the civil- 
 est, most prettiest behaved gentleman 
 was ever seed. I think the devil has been 
 at work ever since yesterday ; Lord pre- 
 serve the Cheese-toaster ! " 
 
 " The poor man is mad," said the 
 young lady, as she descended. 
 
 " Mad ! the Lord forbid !" cried Mrs. 
 Puffin, *« that would be ruin to the Cheese- 
 toaster. 1 should vant to send he up 
 to keep the mad old Duke company at 
 Rhanvellyn Castle,"
 
 90 IIARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 " Are we far from the Castle ?'' asked 
 the lady. 
 
 " Oh ! no, my lady, no great ways, but 
 it is a road nobody but a gifted one 
 could travel by night." 
 
 By this time the young lady had ar- 
 rived in the kitchen, where Mrs. Dunn 
 was waiting for orders, and the mulled 
 wine being prepared with some dry toast, 
 the ladies partook of it, and sent for their 
 man to receive his directions for the fol- 
 lowing day. 
 
 " Have you put the carriage under 
 cover, Broadhead ?" asked the old^lady. 
 
 " Yees, ma'am," replied the man, "it 
 is under cover, but I am not quite satis- 
 fied with the place. I've done the best 
 though, that it might lay comfortable !" 
 
 ** Very well," replied his mistress, 
 " that will do then; and to-morrow morn- 
 ing get a blacksmith to examine it, and 
 make it safe." 
 
 " There are a good many curiosities in
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 91 
 
 this neighbourhood, I fancy ma'^am, are 
 there not ?" asked the neice. 
 
 " Oh ! yes my lady, it's quite the place 
 for the best in all Vales,*' said Mrs. 
 Puffin, *♦ and we have such heaps of gen- 
 tlevolks and curious men in the season, 
 but it's now almost over for them." 
 
 " Not quite," said the old lady, in a 
 low voice, to her neice, and eying Mr. 
 Diggle, who was passing through to make 
 his retreat. 
 
 The landlady went on. — 
 
 *< We had the Painter here ma'am, my 
 Lady I mean, I beg your Ladyship's 
 pardon." 
 
 *< You have it," said the old Lady. 
 
 " The great Painter that they say has 
 made a gold mine in Vales." 
 
 ** Woman !" exclaimed Diggle, ** never 
 attempt' to say a good thing ; you will in- 
 fallibly scatter its beauties like drops of 
 — of—" 
 
 The Poet was for once at a loss for a
 
 9S HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL, 
 
 comparison, though the rain which was 
 falling presented him with a very apt one, 
 and Joan, whose teeth marks were visible 
 on his nose, passing at the moment with 
 the warming-pan, helped him out by say- 
 ing <* Blood !'* 
 
 The ladies looked at one another, and 
 Mr. Diggle who, as we have heretofore 
 said, had some curiosity, begged pardon for 
 having intruded into the conversation, 
 and offered to give the ladies any infor- 
 mation they wanted. 
 
 " My Lady V said Mr, Puffin, who was 
 in attendance behind, leaning on the oak 
 chest, " that there gentleman can tell 
 you more than any body, my Lady, for 
 he has gone down to the infirm regents, 
 as he told me himself, with a Hammer, 
 a Virgin, a Horse, a Hod, and a crooked 
 Silken Shepherd. He says moreover that 
 he is in Heaven, and can tell all that the 
 stars can, as well as Old Mary down near 
 Aberystwith ; and that he has been dam-
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 93 
 
 ned with the Tartars. And a damned 
 set, begging Your Ladyship's pardon, 
 both friends and enemies found them 
 fellows last war. Moreover — " 
 
 " Silence, barbarian ! Tartar ! Goth [*' 
 roared Diggle, being too nearly choaked 
 with rage and mortification to say more. 
 
 His friend Thomas pulled him by the 
 sleeve, and advised him to go home ; but 
 he would not move till he had impressed 
 the ladies with a more favourable 
 idea of him, than the sergeant's speech 
 was likely to produce, and a sort of scuffle 
 ensued, which seemed to alarm the ladies. 
 Indeed, his very appearance was enough 
 to have alarmed some females ! His tall, 
 bony, gaunt figure ; his long, ugly face, 
 with prominent teeth, (such as Ogres used 
 to be painted with,) and adorned with a 
 hook nose of the largest dimensions, now 
 swollen and scarified, exhibiting the 
 marks of Joan's teeth, and Dr. Stirit's 
 fingers. Altogether he was most horrific,
 
 94 HAKDENBJRA8S AND HAVERILL. 
 
 especially when he raised his thundering 
 voice. 
 
 But this chapter having cost us some 
 labour, we will conclude it, and begin 
 another.
 
 ( 95 ) 
 
 CHAP. XI. 
 
 Mr, Diggle persists in distinguishing himself, — The 
 Effect of his Eloquence on the Ladies, — Mrs, 
 Ptcffins unlucky Mistake, — The Consequences of 
 the Mistake, — ■ A Challenge. — The Landlady's 
 Consolation, — Conjectures respecting the Hero, 
 — An Author's Conjectures, 
 
 The ladies, who perhaps began to think 
 they had got into a mad-house, (they 
 were excusable if they did,) made a move- 
 ment to quit the place ; but Mr. Diggle 
 would not let them go, till he had con- 
 vinced them of his importance, and 
 though Mrs. Puffin and Mrs. Dunn stood 
 with lighted candles in their hands ; and 
 the old lady a little bent with age and 
 infinnity, leaned rather heavily on the 
 arm of her niece, he fairly stopped their 
 progress, and addressed them as follows ; 
 while the Sergeant, Thomas, Broadhead,
 
 96 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Joan, and the Pedlar stood staring and 
 wondering what would come next. 
 
 " Fame, ladies ! fame is the fairest 
 meed the poet claims ; and I do not fear 
 that when you hear who I am, all that 
 that barbarian has uttered to sink me in 
 your opinion, will be wafted away on the 
 gale of reminiscence. My name is 
 Diggle.'' 
 
 The young lady blew her nose most 
 violently, but the old one, who had a 
 better command of countenance, said 
 gravely, and bowing low, ** Diggle ! 
 Diggle !'' 
 
 «< My lady !" said the Sergeant, *« it is 
 the lustrus Elisha Diggle that makes 
 books of picks and canteens ; he is de- 
 serving the pot of laurel !" 
 
 This was almost too much for the old 
 lady, whose eye laughed right merrily, 
 and bowing again, she attempted to pro^ 
 ceed. 
 
 ** By the blood of Orpheus, whose 
 death was nectar to what 1 suffer j
 
 HARDENBRASS ANI> HAVERILL. ~ 97 
 
 this is the refined cruelty of mental 
 torture/* cried Diggle, " and these ladies 
 must allow me to make an exposition of 
 myself before them ! I will shew them 
 the naked man ! they shall see me as I 
 am! they — 
 
 " For shame of yourself, you brutish 
 fellow," cried Mrs. PuflSn, " if you begin 
 any of your impudence here, 1*11 soon 
 settle you, I promise you. What! to 
 offer to assault my guests, and ladies like 
 these too, in my house ! It's too bad, and 
 I desire you'll go shew your nakedness 
 somewhere else." 
 
 This whole scene was too much for the 
 old lady; she fell back in her chair, 
 laughed till she wept, and brought on a 
 fit of coughing ; and her niece accom- 
 panied her in her mirth. As soon as 
 they could stand, they hastened up stairs, 
 where their laughter was renewed, while 
 a different convulsion moved those below. 
 
 The landlady fell upon Diggle with as 
 much fury as if he had actually com- 
 
 voL. I. r
 
 98 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 mitted some shameful act, and reproached 
 him with injuring the character of her 
 house J while he, on his part, asserted 
 that he had done her too much honor 
 by entering, and by that means immortar 
 lizing, the Cheese-toaster, and that he 
 severely repented having thus cast his 
 pearls before swine. He then abused 
 the well-intentioned Sergeant, for having, 
 as he said, ridiculed his betters, while the 
 Sergeant declared that he meant nothing 
 more thaH to let the ladies know what a 
 great man they had in the house with 
 them, and that in fact he had done no- 
 thing more than repeat what Mr. Diggle 
 himself had told him the day before. 
 
 " I tell you ?" roared Diggle, '* I ? 
 When did I ever speak with irreverence 
 of the R •— ? whom God in heaven 
 bless ! When did I say he was infirm ? 
 He, who is enjoying youth, health, beau- 
 ty, and mental vigour unimpaired ! In- 
 firm ? disloyal wretch. — " He was herp 
 interrupted by the Sergeant, who said 
 5
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 99 
 
 that he had served his King and country, 
 and lost his limbs in their service, and 
 this was the first time in his life disloyalty 
 had ever been laid to his charge. He swore 
 tremendously ; and for once his wife and 
 he being on one side, she seconded him 
 with no small violence. Long, very long 
 did the altercation continue, and it ended 
 in Puffin's insisting on satisfaction for his 
 aspersed loyalty. The Poet vowed he 
 would give it him well the first time he 
 had him alone, but that it was beneath 
 him to meet a plebeian, a publican, in the 
 field. 
 
 Upon this, the Pedlar, who had been 
 induced from curiosity to sit up arid heai 
 the end of the fray, said that it would be 
 wrong in the Sergeant, who was used to 
 war, to insist on fighting with pistols, but 
 that nothing was now more genteel than 
 to practise boxing; and if Mr. Diggle 
 chose to meet his man that way, he sup- 
 posed his friend there would second him, 
 and he himself offered to be second to 
 F 2
 
 100 HARDENBRASS ANTD HAVERILL. 
 
 Mr. Puffin, or if Mr. Puffin found the 
 loss of his legs an hindrance, he would 
 fight the battle for him, which would be 
 just the same thing, as a woman and a 
 maimed man had equally a right to a 
 champion. 
 
 This proposal met with the approba- 
 tion of all present, save and except Mr. 
 Diggle, who long demurred. But as he 
 thought there was less danger of the 
 world being deprived of his rare talents 
 by fisty cuffs than by pistol, he at last 
 reluctantly consented, on condition that 
 the fight should not take place before the 
 end of two days, as he wished to practise 
 a little, and renew his acquaintance with 
 the pugilistic art. To this the Pedlar 
 made no objection, but said there must 
 be no puts off, as he should quit Pont-y- 
 V — on the third day. To the great 
 consolation of Mrs. Puffin, the whole 
 party, including two or three of the 
 inhabitants of Pont-y-V — sat down 
 once more, and did not separate till the
 
 MAkDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 101 
 
 Poet, overcome with wine or punch, (for 
 after the minutest inquiry we cannot as- 
 certain which liquor it was,) was fairly a 
 dead man. This circumstance, had he 
 retained his senses, he would have re- 
 garded as an evil prognostic, but those being 
 extinct, pro tempore, his friend Thomas 
 reeled home, and left him to pass the 
 night on an oak table in the best room ; 
 being thus, as it were, buried on the 
 field where he fell. 
 
 It is now time to return to our hero, 
 whose strange and unaccountable beha- 
 viour to a young and beautiful woman, 
 ^hom chance had thrown into his arms, 
 has, we fear, given some of our more fas- 
 tidious readers a disgust to him, and left 
 others in the persuasion that he was mad. 
 AJ^e freely confess that his situation was 
 little short of the last-mentioned circum- 
 stance, and perhaps, though his conduct 
 appears strange, he might have very suf- 
 ficient reasons for it. 
 
 In writing the lives of great or re- 
 F S
 
 102 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 markable people, it is not unamusing to 
 an author to imagine what readers of 
 such and such a taste or description may 
 say on certain occasions. 
 
 <* The fellow must have been a fool/* 
 says the man of pleasure, ** to throw a 
 fine girl away ! stark mad ! would I had 
 been in his place/' 
 
 " Instead of accounting him mad,'* 
 replies his prudent aunt, " I should take 
 him for a very pretty behaved, modest, 
 pious, young man, shocked no doubt 
 with the girFs boldness in catching hold 
 of him. I declare the wickedness of this 
 age i& overwhelming." 
 
 " It was a pretty situation," says a young 
 lady in company, ** and might have been 
 rendered very interesting, if the author 
 had had any romance about him, but he 
 is a mere downright narrator of facts, 
 and shews little tact in the passions. She 
 ought to have fainted in his arms. TlriaJ 
 meeting of Delitia and Julius at Herbert
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HaVERILL. 103 
 
 Castle *, (/ should have called it Castle 
 Herbert, it is more touching,) that meet- 
 ing was really divine, it elicited sparks 
 of love that were truly enchanting." 
 " Nonsense about love," cries an old 
 bachelor, <' love is all folly, the women 
 all plagues. This fellow seems a good 
 sensible fellow, and to know how to es- 
 timate them. I don*t wonder at it, for 
 now they flock about like mermaids all 
 naked, and all squalling and singing 5 it 
 would sicken any male thing on two legs 
 I should suppose. But come, go on with 
 the book if you please, for I begin to 
 think the author is no fool, since he has 
 found so sensible a hero." 
 
 You shall be obeyed, good Mr. Bache- 
 lor, but it must be in another chapter. 
 
 * In Julius Fitz John, mentioned in the Preface. 
 
 F 4
 
 ( 104 ) 
 
 CHAP. XII. 
 
 The Hero being asleep, the History returns to the 
 Ladies, — Their Opinion on >what passed, — The 
 Consequences of speaking French, 
 
 Mr, Haverill had no sooner made the 
 retreat which we have commemorated in 
 the tenth chapter, and locked his door^ 
 than he threw himself on his bed, and 
 was happily relieved from a paroxysm of 
 rage and some other strong ingredients^ 
 by a flood of tears. 
 
 The effects of his passion were merely 
 groans, for reflections he had none ! and 
 happily for him, he at last, thanks to his 
 reduced strength, groaned himself to 
 sleep. So we will leave him, though he 
 he was not sleeping very comfortably, 
 and inquire after the newly-arrived 
 guests in the adjoining chamber. 
 
 After much laughter at the extraor-
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 105 
 
 dinary scenes they had witnessed, they 
 expressed their astonishment to each 
 other, at the conduct of Diggle, who, the 
 niece said, must be mad. 
 
 " Mad ! oh no, my dear !'* said the 
 aunt, " only vain, depend upon it. You 
 see he thinks himself the first poet of the 
 age, and I should not wonder if we have 
 a copy of verses incribed to us." 
 
 " Well aunt — this is the oddest place! 
 Do hear, what a noise they are making j 
 and there is a groan, what can that 
 mean ?" said the niece. 
 
 " La, Ma'am !** exclaimed Mrs. Dunn, 
 «< 'tisthepoor gentleman as is contagious to 
 us, I dares say. Chamber-maid tells I, that 
 he do groan and grieve like any thing, 
 though, when he be awake, bating that 
 he never speak but just for his necessi- 
 ties like, he is quite a taking, gentleman- 
 like man." 
 
 " Who is this taking gentleman?" ask- 
 ed the mistress. 
 
 " That's what I perspired to know 
 F 5
 
 106 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Ma'am/' replied the maid, " but he is 
 so closely corked, and so gentle, that the 
 people here can't get nothing out of him. 
 They think sometimes he seems to groan 
 and strain, and be a little uneasy, as if 
 there was something he wants to let out 
 too 1" 
 
 " Poor man, that's a bad affair," said 
 the old lady. 
 
 The niece shook her head, and said 
 she feared there was something worse 
 than all that the matter, for he ceitainly 
 was as mad as any gentle gentleman need 
 wish to be. She then told her aunt in 
 French, what had happened to herself^ 
 and added with a smile, that her vanity 
 had received, or ought to have received 
 a severe check by so sudden an effect of 
 her beauty upon a passing stranger. 
 The aunt observed, that some people 
 perhaps disliked beauty, as others did 
 perfumes: " but madmen," said she, " are 
 so common, that I am never surprised 
 at any thing however singular."
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 107 
 
 No occurrence in her intercourse with 
 her ladies, as she called them, ever had 
 so unpleasant an effect on the feelings of 
 Mrs. Dunn, as the custom that Mrs, and 
 Miss St. Arno had of speaking French, 
 when they were conversing on any topic 
 they did not think it absolutely necessary 
 for the said Mrs. Dunn to be informed 
 of, and this happened pretty frequently, 
 for they knew that she had an insatiable 
 curiosity, a constant thirst after the af- 
 fairs of others, and so little discretion in 
 the use of her tongue, that more than 
 once, unpleasant things had occurred 
 from her indiscreet repetition of trivial 
 family affairs. We might say, that she 
 passed her whole time in listening to 
 news ; if her exceeding love of talking 
 would allow us : but it must be confessed, 
 that to repeat what she had heard, was an 
 indescribable pleasure, and her life was 
 divided between the two enjoyments. 
 
 On the present occasion, she expressed 
 F 6
 
 108 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 her displeasure by bouncing about the 
 room, and shaking her mistress's gown 
 that she had to fold up, with great vio* 
 lence ; and she contrived to make so 
 much noise, that Miss St. Arno desired 
 her to move about more quietly. 
 
 The reply to this was a sort of mut- 
 tered reproach of a want of confidence, 
 of which Miss St. Arno took no notice. 
 This, probably, threw her more oif her 
 guard, or increased her irritation, and, 
 snatching up the pin-cushion from the 
 dressing-table, she threw over one of the 
 candles, and in so unfortunate a direc- 
 tion, that it fell against a mirror that 
 was hung over the table, and, with some 
 report, shattered it into a thousand 
 shivers. 
 
 She stood like the statue of Niobe, or 
 any other gentlewoman in great distress, 
 and moved her lips and her fingers in a 
 convulsive manner, without, however, 
 emitting a sound.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAV^RILL. 109 
 
 " I never saw any thing so foolish in 
 my life," said Miss St. Arno : <* How 
 can you be so careless ?" 
 
 " Are you bewitched, Dunn, that yoii 
 stand in that manner ?" asked the aunt. 
 
 ** I beheve I am bewitched," said 
 poor Dunn ; ** and I shall be mad in the 
 end? Oh I Lord preserve me! Why, 
 the cost of that glass will be ruin to 
 me!" 
 
 " Come, Dunn, think no more about 
 it!" said Mrs. St. Arno ; " get into your 
 little bed, and go to rest. Let to-mor- 
 row provide for itself." 
 
 " I shall never rest more !" sobbed 
 Dunn. 
 
 " Yes, yes, you will ! Come, get into 
 bed, and don't hinder my aunt from go- 
 ing to sleep," said Miss St. Arno. 
 
 " I hinder nobody, ma'am ; but I sha*nt 
 go to bed," cried Dunn ; " and its very 
 hard it is, for I should never h-dve interred 
 this misfortune, if you had not spoken 
 that bad talk you did!" ^
 
 110 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERELL. 
 
 « What bad talk, Dunn ? What did 
 I say ?'* cried Miss St. Arno. 
 
 *« Say, Miss ! How should I know ? 
 I wish I did," answered Dunn ; *« but 
 the vegetable truth is, that that nasty 
 French is so indecent, I never hear it 
 without being quite angry and enraged, 
 as the Poet says, that you should talk 
 it." 
 
 " There, I believe you," cried her 
 mistress. ** But now I desire you to go 
 to bed; I insist upon it; for I won't 
 be disturbed: and I advise you to be- 
 come good friends with the sound of the 
 French, as soon as possible, for we shall 
 speak it almost constantly." 
 
 " Good Lord !" cried Dunn. « What ! 
 and I stand by and not know a word 
 that's passing, any more than a man that's 
 lost his hearing. I, that never meddle 
 with any body's business nor aifairs ! I, 
 that never talk about nothing, no more 
 than a dumb woman would!" 
 
 "Poor Dunn^i" said her mistress. —
 
 HAKDENBEASS AND HAVERILL. Ill 
 
 ** Why, child, you are an incessant talker; 
 and I don't think you are yet enough of 
 a parliament man to talk continually about 
 nothing." 
 
 " Dear Ma'am ! I a talker ? Lord de- 
 fend me ! if I ever speak a word ! — no, 
 not a word ! And as to telling any thing 
 again — no, if my life depended upon 
 it ! — I would bite my tongue off sooner, 
 than tell what I see in any family I live 
 in. There was my old Lady Blunt as I 
 lived with just five years till I came to 
 you. Ma'am, nobody can excuse me for 
 ever having said a word either about her 
 drinking or swearing ! I saw her myself 
 throw the chamber-pot out of her room- 
 door at the housemaid, because the poor 
 girl had forgot to empty it. I saw her 
 once hit the coachman a great thump 
 with her umbrelier when he came to ask 
 for borders ; and every day some drunken 
 prank or other; but nobody can say I 
 ever told a syllable of any thing to any 
 body, no."
 
 11^ HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 How long she would have run on, 
 Heaven knows ! but her mistress feared 
 till the morning hght ; so she once more 
 peremptorily commanded her to be silent, 
 and to go to bed, and that in rather an un- 
 usual tone, which produced an effect on 
 Mrs. Dunn that no reasoning could pos- 
 sibly have done. We will then leave the 
 party to compose themselves as well as 
 they can, and, for the present, conclude 
 our chapter.
 
 ( 113 ) 
 
 CHAP. XIII. 
 
 The extraordinary Events that happened to Mrs* 
 Dunn during the Night, — jin Uproar ; and the 
 Whim that possessed the Intruder. — j4 Night 
 Scene ; and Haverill's Conduct — his Reflections. 
 — Some Observations on Modern Female Authors, 
 and their peculiar Taste in Subjects. 
 
 The first rays of light were hardly be- 
 ginning to dawn through the scanty cur- 
 tain that covered the window in Mrs. 
 St. Arno's room at the Cheese-toaster, 
 when Mrs. Dunn awoke from a tolerably 
 sound nap she had taken in an easy 
 chair, having conscientiously adhered to 
 the resolution she had made, not to go 
 to bed ; a breach of obedience her ladies, 
 who were very sleepy, had not per- 
 ceived. 
 
 The large bed in which her mistress 
 slept was placed at the farther end of the
 
 114 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 room, and th^t destined for her in a cor- 
 ner much nearer the door ; and though 
 it was not light enough to distinguish 
 objects, she began to fancy that she could 
 find her way to her bed, a circumstance 
 now devoutly to be washed, as she was 
 shaking with cold. 
 
 She was preparing to move, then, with 
 as little noise as possible, for she knew 
 the ladies would be angry, if they found 
 she had sat up all night, when she fancied 
 she heard some one stir ! It must be Miss 
 St. Arno ; and she would wait till she 
 was asleep again. But in about half a 
 minute she had a new subject of alarm j 
 for, as her hand lay upon the arm of the 
 chair she sat on, suddenly a heavy hand 
 was pressed upon it ; but it was only for 
 a moment ; and the poor woman was so 
 terrified with the circumstance, that, in- 
 stead of screaming or giving an alarm by 
 any of the usual effects of sudden fear, 
 she fainted away. When, after a short 
 time, she recovered her senses, and found
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 115 
 
 all perfectly still, she was induced to 
 fancy that the adventure of the hand had 
 been merely a dream ; and the wish to 
 go to bed reviving with her cold shivers, 
 she began quietly to undress herself, 
 when, having completed that operation^ 
 she stood up to shake down her clothes, 
 and stepped gently towards the corner 
 where her bed was placed. She found 
 the bed without difficulty, and turned 
 the clothes softly down j then sliding in, 
 she was beginning to congratulate her- 
 self, when she found the bed already 
 occupied. The usual effect of a fright 
 on Mrs. Dunn was a fainting fit, and that 
 now again happened ; so that her female 
 companions, who slept tolerably sound, 
 remained perfectly unconscious that any 
 visitor was in their room. 
 
 At last a snoring rather louder than com- 
 mon awoke both ladies, and they began to 
 fancy that Dunn, fluttered with the acci- 
 dent of the mirror, had got the night
 
 Il6 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERItL. 
 
 mare. The snorings becoming louder 
 and harder, Miss St. Arno said she would 
 get up and wake the poor creature, for it 
 really was frightful. 
 
 By this time the light had increased 
 sufficiently to enable a person to see ob- 
 jects, when the curtains were drawn aside, 
 and on her way to Dunn's bed, Miss St. 
 Arno admitted it, and then crept gently to 
 the bed : but reader, guess her horror at 
 discovering that maiden lying as if de- 
 prived of life, and a man fast asleep by 
 her side. 
 
 The young lady's presence of mind 
 quite forsook her, and she uttered a pier- 
 cing cry of distress that awoke not only 
 Mr. Haverill, and every other mhabitant 
 of the inn, but the object of her fright 
 himself, and losing all recollection, she 
 was hastening out of the room, when she 
 was stopped by the entrance of those 
 whom her cries had summoned to her as- 
 sistance. Our hero being her nearest
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 11? 
 
 neighbour arrived first, and stopping her, 
 asked in a voice of compassionate kind- 
 ness what had alarmed her. 
 
 " Oh, Sir, a man, murder ! he has mur- 
 dered '* Haverill had continued to 
 
 advance, and now, led by his fair guide, 
 as well as by the old lady who had left her 
 bed, he seized the trembling culprit, who 
 had drawn the pillow over his head, and 
 dragged him from his hiding place; when, 
 to the astonishment of the landlady, Joan, 
 the ostler, and in short every one present, 
 he displayed the identical countenance of 
 the poet Diggle. " Wretched man P' 
 said Haverill, in a voice almost inarticu- 
 late from strong emotion ; " wretched 
 man !" /* Murderer, then I once more be- 
 hold a victim ; no, the case — it /5 not! Oh!'* 
 
 Here Haverill groaned deeply, and 
 Diggle looking round with marks of un- 
 feigned fear and surprise, eyed the com- 
 pany, all excepting himself, in the most 
 fresco dress they could well wear ; and all 
 Jiaving from the indistinctness of the light,
 
 US HARBENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 more the appearance of phantoms than 
 reahties. 
 
 And now the strangest fancy that ever 
 entered the head of a man, accused of 
 murder, took possession of Mr. Diggle ; 
 and this was no other than the belief, that 
 he had, during his last night's sleep, cross- 
 ed the Styx, and that he was arrived in 
 the poets' bell. He conceived the figures 
 about him to be authors of other times, 
 coming to claim restitution of. ideas, 
 figures, expressions, nay, whole verses, 
 couplets, pages ; and he took our hero 
 for one from whom he had borrowed most 
 freely. Mr. HaverilPs address made him 
 quake, and in a tremulous voice he said, 
 « I — I — CO — CO — CO — confess." 
 
 " That you — murdered her? took what 
 you can never restore ?" cried Haverill. 
 
 " I did !" groaned Diggle. 
 
 " And what could be thy motive ?" 
 asked Haverill. 
 
 " Gain," said Diggle, " interest, and 
 fame."
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL, 119 
 
 " Fame ! infamy ratlier, lost and aban- 
 doned soul ;" cried Haverill ; *< but thou 
 must bear thy punishment 5 would that all 
 who like thee •" 
 
 Mr. Haverill was here interrupted by a 
 cry of joy from Miss St. Arno, who ex- 
 claimed, " she lives, she lives ; thank 
 God !" and at the same moment Mrs. 
 Dunn sat up, and gazed round her with 
 much wonder depicted on her counte- 
 nance, and as soon as she found her tongue 
 at liberty, she expressed this wonder by 
 the very simple question of " bless me, 
 what are you all doing in your shifts ?'* 
 This question, which destroyed the pathos 
 of the affair, restored their recollection to 
 the ladies, who retreated to their bed ; to 
 the landlady, who went down to assist 
 her husband to buckle on his legs ; and 
 to our hero, who perceiving the impro- 
 priety of his situation, retired with his 
 prisoner and the ostler, and left the fe- 
 males at liberty to [recover them.selves, 
 and their domestic as well as they could.
 
 120 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Having consigned the prisoner to the 
 keeping of the ostler and Sergeant Puffin, 
 who was marching to the field as Haverill 
 himself quitted it, our hero returned to 
 his bed, where (as he told us not long 
 ago, to the best of his recollection) the 
 following reflections passed through his 
 mind ; " surely fortune, who has blasted 
 my fairest hopes, and crushed ambition 
 and love when they promised most to 
 bestow their fruit upon me, delights to 
 persecute me, and disturb the little por- 
 tion of tranquillity that I have regained ! 
 why else should she present to me those 
 objects most calculated to gall the wound 
 not even yet skinned over? Why throw 
 me into situations torturing to my recol- 
 lections ? Is it to warn me that the cup 
 of woe is not yet exhausted ? Let fate 
 do her worst ; I am come to a resolution 
 to defy her — but I will do more ! I will 
 overcome myself, and venture to see the 
 man— -yes, I will look at him j why should 
 J not bear to see him ? he has most need
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 1^1 
 
 to shrink — he may tremble ; the sword is 
 suspended ; but what shall become of me 
 in the mean time? Why not stay here ? No 
 one knows me ; and a month, perhaps 
 less, will unfetter my hands." 
 
 This being all Mr. Haverill could with 
 certainty recollect, we forbear to add to it 
 any thing of our own, being more desirous 
 of the reputation of faithful biographers, 
 than ingenious inventors. And we take 
 this opportunity, with unfeigned humility, 
 to acknowledge ourselves inferior, very 
 inferior in the last mentioned character to 
 many, nay, almost all our contemporaries, 
 who can, with the most admirable skill, 
 make the reflections of their hero supply 
 the place of incident, and can convey in- 
 struction in all branches of art and science, 
 as well as in divinity and morality, while 
 they are merely telling what their princi- 
 pal personages thought or said. 
 
 It would be unjust to the fair sex, not 
 to acknowledge that the ladies particu- 
 larly excel in this method of writing 5 
 
 VOL. I. G
 
 122 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL, 
 
 and some of them have contrived, in ad- 
 dition to the subjects we have mention- 
 ed, to give rules for the choice of hus- 
 bands and wives, and strong cautions 
 againsf the wicked ways and frail sisters 
 of the town ; detailing, with scrupulous 
 accuracy, (which no man since the days 
 of Richardson would have ventured to 
 do,) every little step, and inward wish, in 
 the course of seduction, from the first 
 trembling address, to the moment of cul- 
 pability ; and from that interesting pe- 
 riod, to the Finish / 
 
 We are by no means blind to the ad- 
 vantages and disadvantages of this plan ; 
 but, as it is quite out of our way, we for- 
 bear to discuss them. Our own method 
 of giving merely a picture of life, and of 
 men and things as they are, cannot fail 
 to be useful to mankind, even though we 
 do not enter into all the minutiae of the 
 incidents we relate ; that is, if mankind 
 choose to make our works useful ; if not, 
 the sin lies at their door, and not at ours.
 
 MARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 123 
 
 We have no talents for long, learned dis- 
 quisitions, or metaphysical subtleties; and 
 we leave all the ics, and the mi/s, and the 
 tri/s, and the ologies, to those who can 
 find nothing else to fill their books with. 
 
 N. B. We are preparing for the press, 
 a work on the most agreeable methods 
 of committing murder and suicide ; with 
 very minute details physical and moral. 
 It was proposed to us by an ingenious 
 friend to weave it into the body of this 
 work ; but we rejected the idea, as con- 
 trary to our usual habits ; and we now 
 venture to recommend it to our readers, 
 as a scientific production well worthy 
 their attention. 
 
 A lady of our acquaintance proposes 
 speedily to publish a treatise on the va- 
 rious methods and effects of seduction ; 
 with an account of the] most extraordi- 
 nary cases, rapes, &c., from Dinah down 
 to the present day. She has the best in- 
 formation on the subject, having (besides 
 her extensive reading) regularly attended 
 G 2
 
 124 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 every public place where it could be pro- 
 cured ; and even visited houses where the 
 face of a modest female (except for pur- 
 poses she can best explain) was never be- 
 fore found. This work will be printed 
 the same size as our own.
 
 ( 125 ) 
 
 CHAP. XIV. 
 
 The Reco^oery of Diggle, — Cross Purposes, — A 
 new Whim s and extraordinary Prophecy, — The 
 Fancy, — A scientific Account of the Battle betMceen 
 Diggle and the Pedlar, 
 
 Mr. Diggle was no sooner conveyed to 
 the kitchen by his landlord and the ost- 
 ler, than he began to perceive that he had 
 fiot yet crossed the Styx. When this ray 
 of light made its way to his sensorium, 
 others followed, and, by degrees, he grew 
 sensible that he had been found in an 
 apartment where he had no business ; 
 and he protested upon his soul, both as 
 a poet and a Christian, that he knew no 
 more how he came there, than what he 
 was accused of perpetrating. He ascrib- 
 ed the whole to magic, in which he had 
 before some belief; and, as he conceived 
 the characters of prophet and poet to be 
 G 3
 
 126 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL, 
 
 united in his own character, he began to 
 cast about in his mind for an explanation 
 of the affair, and to discover the author 
 of the mischief. 
 
 As he sat ruminating, the eye of mine 
 host, who was suffering sundry twinges 
 in his toes ; that is, he could have sworn 
 they were in his toes, and would too, 
 though he had not had a toe to swear by 
 for the last two years and more, the 
 rolling eye of Mr. Puffin met his y .^d, 
 with a very strong, expressive glaneei it 
 fixed that of Mr. Diggle. In an instant 
 he was convinced that the poor Sergeant 
 was leagued with the deceiver of man- 
 kind ; and he ascribed all the cross acci- 
 dents that had happened, to the malign 
 influence of that enemy, who was anxi- 
 ous to cause the overthrow of the Lord's 
 prophet, as well as of his chosen vessel, 
 Joanna. He instantly felt all the horror 
 of his situation; and he began to fear 
 that he had, by some unbecoming frailty, 
 thrown himself into the power of the ad-
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 127 
 
 versary. Being, at bottom, a complete 
 coward, though he had been a pugilist of 
 some repute, he shook with dread of what 
 might happen ; and the Sergeant, who 
 felt some compassion midst his anger, ask- 
 ed if he would have a little spirit, mean- 
 ing a glass of brandy. 
 
 To the great surprise of the Sergeant, 
 Diggle answered, ** A vaunt, evil spirit ! 
 From thy spirit. Good Lord, deliver iis !" 
 
 " I should be glad, Mr. Night-walker, 
 to know why," said the Sergeant ** for to 
 tell you the truth, though you may be an 
 enemy in disguise, it is as good and as 
 neat moonshine as ever darkened these 
 doors. But mayhap, Sir, you mean to 
 sperse my own spirit, as you did my loy- 
 alty ? If you do, all I can tell you is, that 
 provided the hell-kite, as he is called, 
 leaves you a bone to be broken, I will 
 settle both accounts at the same time, 
 and as long as you are in this world, you 
 shall remember your visit to the Cheese- 
 G 4
 
 l^S HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL, 
 
 toaster. D — me ! but 1*11 raise the devil, 
 or ril touch you." 
 
 Diggle's fears were not at all lessened 
 by this speech, the exceeding wickedness 
 of which, made him imagine that an 
 event he had in a fit of pious desponden- 
 cy prophesied about six months before, 
 was now about to take place, and that the 
 whole of what had passed within the last 
 two days, was a plot of the devil to get 
 him to himself. Ke essayed to rise, but 
 the Welsh ostler held him fast, and by 
 this time the Pedlar and the coachman 
 having joined the party, he found himself 
 inspired, and burst out into the following 
 rhapsody, to the great astonishment of 
 his auditors, particularly the Sergeant. — 
 «« You son of the evil One, (to the Ser- 
 geant,) you think by your enchantments 
 to prevail against the inspired of the 
 Lord! But the books are opened, and 
 thou art judged. Short is the time that 
 remains 1 the wheat and the tares shall 
 be gathered ! Then shall ye all, sons of
 
 HARDENBRASS ANB HAVERILL. 1^9 
 
 darkness, with your hellish plot to circum- 
 vent, to undermine, to blow up, to crush 
 down, to destroy! then shall ye all 
 be destroyed. I see him 1 I see him ! 
 bis sword of flame in his hand 1 But 
 three days and the world is no more! 
 but three days and your bones shall be 
 dust ! but three days, and the last judg- 
 ment overtakes you! but three days, and 
 while ye all crack like cockles in the ^tc^ 
 ye shall see the divine Johanna ascend 
 with the blessed babe of her bosom, and 
 the unworthy Diggle, the second Elisha> 
 to a seat of glory ! Tremble ! tremble ! 
 tremble ! but three days to repent — trem« 
 ble !" 
 
 The effect of Mr. Biggie's oratory was 
 as great as heart could desire, for cer- 
 tainly he made some of his auditory trem- 
 ble, and the Sergeant asked if he was 
 sure that what he said about the fire was 
 true. 
 
 " Thou wilt find it too true, answered
 
 iSO HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL 
 
 Diggle perspiring at every pore with his 
 own fervors. 
 
 " If that be the word," replied the 
 Sergeant, " its of no meaning for me to 
 order the bricklayer to look at the roof, 
 or to spend any money at all. And 
 why should we not enjoy the time that 
 comes before the grand attack ? A soldier 
 is always merry the night afore a battle, 
 and good reason he have, by God ! for he 
 don't know he may be merry after, seeing 
 he may lose his life or his limbs as I have 
 done!" 
 
 ** True !" said the coachman, ** I'm 
 sure if my Missis had a heard this here 
 gentleman's discourse, she'd a bordered 
 the carriage should a had no money 
 spent on he." 
 
 The Pedlar, who was not easily wrought 
 upon,\ fancied that Diggle had invented 
 this story or prophecy to escape the fangs 
 of justice, as well as the meeting deter- 
 mined upon with himself, (for the Ser- 
 geant said he should be too top-heavy for
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 131 
 
 a boxing match,) so to try the mettle of 
 his man, he said that if matters were so 
 soon to be brought to an end, the sooner 
 all affairs of honor were settled the bet- 
 ter, and he for his part was willing to en- 
 ter the ring with the gentleman directly, 
 for the justice would not be stirring 
 these two or three hours, and they might 
 have two or three very comfortable rounds. 
 " I* that case" said he, " you'll all gwo to 
 th' gridiron i' peace, and there'll be noa 
 wark aboot honor and sich like stufij it 
 t'other place." 
 
 Nobody seemed averse to this but Mr. 
 Diggle, who vowed that his mind was oc- 
 cupied with thoughts of another kind, 
 and that he forgave the enemy all he had 
 said. The enemy however was not so 
 complaisant to him, and Broadhead the 
 coachman having a little fancy^ as the 
 scientific call it, offered to be bottle hold- 
 er to Mr. Diggle, for whose character he 
 had conceived a great respect, while the 
 Sergeant prepared to perform the satne 
 G 6
 
 132 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILLi 
 
 office for his champion. Diggle opposed 
 all this long and sturdily ; but at last he 
 was induced, partly by the entreaties and 
 encouragement of his second, partly by a 
 good glass of neat moonshine that raised 
 his spirits, partly by his own wish to have 
 the trial over, and some remains of affec- 
 tion for the sport of his youth, and partly 
 by the insulting sneers of the Sergeant and 
 the Pedlar to comply ; and the place 
 agreed upon for the combat being the 
 yard of Mr. Puffin's house ; all parties 
 prepared for the engagement. 
 
 It was not so early in the morning but 
 that many of the inhabitants of Pont-y-V — 
 were already on foot before the battle 
 commenced, and a very respectable au- 
 dience, all eager for the morning's amuse- 
 ment, was collected before the combat- 
 ants entered the ring. 
 
 And now we confess that it would have 
 beea impossible for us, at this distance of 
 time, to have given a correct account 
 of this engagement, had it not been
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 135 
 
 through the kindness of the curate, who 
 was one of the principal^wcy, and who, 
 hearing from his housekeeper that there 
 was going to be a boxing match at the 
 Cheese-toaster, dressed himself in haste, 
 and arrived in time to see the commence- 
 ment of the affair. He took notes on the 
 occasion, and having favored us with 
 them, we transcribe them verbatim et lU 
 teratim j not presuming to add to, or dii* 
 minish from, so scientific and authentic a 
 production. 
 
 The Match at Puffin^ s^ Oct. 18, between 
 Diggle and Pedlar. 
 
 1. In setting to there was a good deal 
 of ceremony, at last Pedlar obtained an 
 introduction, and proved a rough ac- 
 quaintance. Diggle regularly acknow- 
 ledged all favors. 
 
 2. Diggle received a nosegay and got 
 away. Pedlar waited on his man, and 
 planted right and left with great success. 
 Pedlar more thoroughly grounded, but 
 
 1
 
 134 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Diggle the advantage in point of ma- 
 terial. 
 
 3. Diggle struck short, and was com- 
 plimented on the jaw bone. He rallied 
 however, and ran up a score on Pedlar's 
 head. Pedlar extremely gay, laughed a 
 good deal, and very comical in his ways. 
 Amused Diggle a long time about the 
 left ear, but the latter becoming serious, 
 struck him down short. 
 
 4. Pedlar ran in — hit Diggle. Diggle 
 stood to, and got several good things, but 
 being a fanciful customer, was a long time 
 before he was suited to his mind. Com- 
 pletely churned, without any opportunity 
 of acknowledging the favor. Diggle 
 planted a square blow on the chest, that 
 brought red wine from the Pedlar's cel- 
 lar: but getting 'his allowance, lost bot- 
 tom, and ran for it. Pedlar got Diggle's 
 head into Chancery ; seconds interfered, 
 and spoiled sport. The man might have 
 stood again, though he seemed quite 
 thrown out of work, and had for the pre-
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 135 
 
 sent no more to say. The whole very 
 funny ; cursed stupid not to make up the 
 man again, though he had been thrashed, 
 and from the working of his adversary's 
 machinery appeared quite a different ma- 
 terial. The Pedlar seemed to have the 
 best of it from the first, but to Judges 
 only. Mem. To ask both to dine at 
 — 's, where the Fancy will meet. 
 
 As this account gives so satisfactory a 
 description of the situation of the com- 
 batants, we forbear to add a word to it j 
 and while the Sergeant is congratulating 
 and nursing his champion, and his wife is 
 taking care of the Poet's head, we will 
 conclude our chapter.
 
 ( 136 ) 
 
 CHAP. XV. 
 
 Particulars of a Conversation above StairSy and 
 another below Stairs, — ji proposed Migration, — 
 A Rencontre, — A young Ladys fV hints -^ and 
 other Matters, 
 
 We shall for the present leave the Poet, 
 who was conveyed in a cart to the house 
 of his friend Mr* Thomas, and return to 
 Mrs. and Miss St. Arno, who as soon as 
 they felt inclined to rise, rung the bell 
 for the landlady, and having sent Mrs. 
 Dunn, who was alieady up, to assist 
 Joan in preparing some chocolate, they 
 desired Mrs. Puffin to fasten the door, 
 atid to take a seat. Mrs. Puffin, who 
 fancied they were about to complain of 
 the disturbance they had had, summoned 
 all her spirit to defend her house, and 
 turned as red as a turkey-cock as she 
 obeyed them.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 137 
 
 <« I am quite aware," said the old lady, 
 *« that the disturbance we had — " 
 
 *' La ! my lady/' interrupted Mrs. 
 Puffin, *« such a thing as never happened 
 before at the Cheese-toaster. But now 
 it's all settled, and the person as caused 
 it, has fit this morning, and is pretty well 
 quieted." 
 
 ** Did you say he had had a fit ?" 
 asked Miss St. Arno. 
 
 ff Dear no. Miss! only an allowanc^j 
 as the Parson called it." 
 
 <* He shall have his full allowance from 
 us too," said the old lady, <* for 1 was 
 going to tell you if you had not inter- 
 rupted me, that we — " 
 
 *< I'm sure I'm heartily sorry to have 
 interrupted you, my lady," cried Mrs. 
 Puffin. 
 
 " Well then, don't interrupt me again, 
 but hear what I have got to say," said 
 Mrs. Arno. 
 
 ** I won't speak, my lady," cried the 
 landlady.
 
 138 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 " I was going to tell you," continued 
 the old lady, " that from the circum- 
 stances, we are aware that the person, 
 whoever he was, entered our room by 
 mistake, and got admittance from the 
 carelessness of my woman, who having 
 broken your glass — '* 
 
 " Good God of Heaven !" exclaimed 
 Mrs. Puffin, now for the first time per- 
 ceiving the wrecks. 
 
 •* rn pay for it," said the old lady. 
 
 She was again interrupted by the thanks 
 of Mrs. Puffin, which at last subsiding, 
 Mrs. St. Arno continued. 
 
 " My woman carelessly left the door 
 unlocked, and I take it for granted, that 
 the man imagined he was in his own 
 apartment. I wish you then to tell him 
 that he will not receive any molestation 
 from me ; he may be perfectly easy.*' 
 
 " Law ! my lady, easy ! they say he 
 won't be easy again this month" cried 
 the landlady. 
 
 <« Why ? " asked the lady.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 139 
 
 *< Why, my lady ? why because my 
 husband the Captain, have a-punished 
 him for his attempt on your ladyship ; 
 and this morning after he was took*t 
 down, he fit with my husband's friend, 
 who punished him, and he is sent home 
 with a head as big as a barrel." 
 
 This news did not seem to give all the 
 pleasure she expected to the ladies ; at 
 which she wondered very much, as she 
 did at the only reply they made to it, 
 merely asking the poor man's name. 
 She no sooner mentioned it, but Mrs. St. 
 Arno fancied the seeds of the quarrel 
 had been sown the preceding evening, if 
 not before, and she felt easy with regard 
 to any part she might have in it. 
 
 *' And now. Ma'am," continued the 
 old lady, " I want to inquire if you know, 
 whether there is any cottage in this 
 neighbourhood that I could occupy for 
 about a fortnight or three weeks : I 
 would take it for a month, but I shall 
 not stay quite so long,"
 
 14.0 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 The landlady, who foresaw great ad- 
 vantage to the Cheese-toaster, from 
 Mrs. St. Arno's becoming a near neigh- 
 bour, considered and told over upon her 
 fingers all the places within twenty miles. 
 At last she remembered that two ladies, 
 who had lived in a house they had hired 
 for the summer, had quitted it the week 
 before, and she hastened down to in- 
 quire to whom it belonged, and whether 
 it was fit to receive new guestis. 
 
 The best room was ready for the ladies, 
 and they breakfasted there very com- 
 fortably, being waited on by Joan ; while 
 Mrs. Dunn, who looked ill and mor- 
 tified, sat down with the landlord and his 
 lady, and Mr. Broadhead. 
 
 « Well, Ma'am," said Mrs. Puffin, « I 
 hope we shall have you for neighbours, 
 for I have made sure that the Rose Cot- 
 tage as the ladies have had all summer is 
 free, and it will exactly soot the ladies, 
 I should think." 
 
 " The more's the pity," said Mrs.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 141 
 
 Dunn, " for if they once get into a place 
 
 where Miss St. Arno can make pictures, 
 
 they won't think of going away again. 
 
 I never seed such a thing in my life. It 
 
 is just eleven months this very day since 
 
 I came to live with them. Then they 
 
 were living in a cottage they had on the 
 
 banks of the Wye, >and my misseses woman 
 
 as had lived nine years with her, died of 
 
 a fever, and Miss never left her. Well 
 
 the Doctor as attended her, doctored my 
 
 Missis, my Lady Blunt of H — , and 
 
 as he went every day from H — , and 
 
 was an old [friend of mine, Ma'am, he 
 
 recommended me to Mrs. Starno when 
 
 my lady died, (so she pronounced the 
 
 name,) and I haccepted the sitivation, 
 
 though it was a gradation to go from a 
 
 lady to a commoner! Well, Ma'am! 
 
 Law, Mr. Broadhead, you had gone just 
 
 a month before, was not it?" 
 
 " Yees I" said the coachman. 
 
 " Well Ma'am, they tookt a mangina- 
 tion to go till [very nigh Christmas, from
 
 142 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 one spot to another, to sec views, as they 
 said, and Miss has a port fool full of 
 them." 
 
 " What is a port fool ?" asked the Ser- 
 geant. 
 
 « La, Sir ! a port fool — why 'tis a 
 gurt big book, with nothing but a back 1" 
 replied Mrs. Dunn, " and so they put pic. 
 tures in it. Miss has two, one big and 
 one little." 
 
 " Ah !" said the Sergeant, " one for 
 big fools and one for little fools." 
 
 Mrs. Dunn, who did not seem to like 
 these interruptions, went on, 
 
 " Well Ma'am, as I was telling you, 
 they wandered about making woods and 
 water every where." 
 
 " That was natural enough !" said the 
 Sergeant. 
 
 Mrs. Dunn grew very impatient, and 
 raising her voice, she continued, as if 
 she was determined to be heard. 
 
 " Everywhere I say ! And then a lit»
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAYERILL. 143 
 
 tie before Christmas, we went back to 
 the nasty cottage." 
 
 " Rose Cottage is beautiful,** said 
 Mrs. Puffin. 
 
 " Nasty Cottage," continued Mrs. 
 Dunn, " and there we staid without see- 
 ing k single creature for weeks together, 
 for the weather was wretched. Well 
 we staid there till April, and then we 
 packed off bag and baggage, to go to 
 London about some business. I never 
 could get to know what though, for Mrs. 
 Starno, though she is a gentlewoman too, 
 talks that indecent tongue, French. But 
 I thought something about fruit, for she 
 often talked about Pear and Pear — and 
 I know she has land in Herefordshire.** 
 
 " Yees," said the coachman, " I often 
 drove them to a lawyer's, I do believe 
 twar a law-suit.*' 
 
 ** Aye,** said Mrs. Dunn, *< so I always 
 thought. Well I suppose they got it 
 then, for as soon as the weather grew fine, 
 off we went to York, and so to the lakes,
 
 144* HARDKNBRASS AND HAVER]I.L, 
 
 and there have we been filling the port 
 fool till now, when Miss iookt into her 
 head that she should like some Welsh 
 views and some tumbling tints as she 
 calls them, and I suppose this Rose Cot- 
 tage was what they were Trenching about 
 last night, as caused all my misfortunes; 
 but I'll have my revenge of the man as 
 meant to insult my virtue, though Missis 
 may let him off. But pray Mrs. what's 
 your name, where is this Cottage ? 
 
 Mrs. Puffin was not very well pleased 
 to be so addressed; but her interest 
 was concerned, so she bridled her pride, 
 and informed her guest that Rose Cottage 
 was a little Gothic building, about a mile 
 out of the direct road to Rhanvellyn, si- 
 tuated in a deep valley, and surrounded 
 with hills every way. ** There is a little 
 place behind, where a man and his wife 
 who have the care of every thing live ; 
 and his daughter serves for housemaid, 
 or any thing else," said the landlady, and 
 we can supply all you want, for our cart
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 145 
 
 may serve the family. It will be very 
 pleasant for the next month, if the w^ea- 
 ther be fine, but it w^ould not do in vi^in- 
 ter ! it's always either snowed up, or the 
 floods half wash it away/' 
 
 " A pretty prospect," said Mrs. Dunn, 
 and was proceeding, when Joan informed 
 her that her lady wanted her, and she was 
 obliged to move her feet instead of her 
 tongue. 
 
 Mrs. Dunn received orders from her 
 mistress to pack the chaise seat, and have 
 all things in readiness to move to Rose 
 Cottage, by three o'clock, if, upon inspec- 
 tion, it was found fit for their reception. 
 In the mean time the ladies ordered a 
 post chaise, and set out to meet the 
 owner on the spot where Mrs. Puffin 
 told them he would be waiting to receive 
 them. 
 
 They were delighted with their ride, 
 which, after they turned out of the direct 
 road to Rhanvellyn, was exceedingly pic- 
 turesque, being continually on the descent 
 
 VOIi. I. H
 
 146 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 through a beautiful wood, till within 
 about a furlong of the Cottage, which 
 stood on a little lawn through which ran 
 a clear stream. This was crossed by a 
 rustic bridge, and a neat gravel walk led 
 to the door. Behind the Cottage was the 
 habitation of the farmer, as he called him- 
 self, and the stables and coach-house so 
 built as to resemble a chapel in its ex- 
 terior, and a pretty garden, with some 
 good fruit trees. 
 
 The house itself consisted of two par- 
 lours and two bed-rooms in front, and a 
 kitchen and store-room behind, with two 
 servants' rooms over them. It had been 
 cleaned since the family left it, and Mrs. 
 St. Arno finding it quite as large as she 
 wished it to be for the time she intended 
 to stay, gave the necessary orders to the 
 farmer and his daughter, whose services 
 she engaged, and returned to Pont-y- 
 V—. 
 
 " I think this place will answer our 
 purpose very well, my dear/' said the
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 147 
 
 aunt, " and if we dont find so many com- 
 forts and conveniences as we did in 
 Herefordshire, novelty will remunerate us 
 for the sacrifices we make." 
 
 " We ! Ah my dearest little mamma ! 
 do let me call you so ! it is you make sa- 
 crifices to gratify meT* said the niece, 
 '' and I sometimes repent having uttered 
 a wish about Wales ! But it is to me, so 
 interesting; and, if I had not seen the 
 mountains of the North, I should say, so 
 singular." 
 
 " Yes my dear !'* replied the aunt, " so 
 you find, that nothing is, in fact, singular. 
 I have seen a good deal of the world, 
 and I begin now, I think, to know some- 
 thing about it. Depend upon it, there is 
 nothing in it, that is singular! you will 
 never find one man so great a fool, that 
 there is not another to keep him in coun- 
 tenance, or one man, so peculiar in his 
 habits, that another will not, in a great 
 measure, resemble him." 
 
 " I dare say, that it may be so," said 
 H 2
 
 148 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 the young lady, " but, I am somewhat 
 hard of belief, as Dunn says ; I do not 
 think it well possible to find another lit- 
 tle inn in Wales, so stocked with oddities 
 as that we slept in last night, from the 
 landlord to his guests ; and I wish the 
 disturbance we have met with may not 
 be a bad prognostic for us." 
 
 " Never mind the prognostics Ana- 
 rella,*' replied the aunt, " I never trouble 
 my head about prognostics/* 
 
 By this time, they were turning out of 
 the road to the Cottage, into that which 
 led to Pont-y-V — , and perceived our 
 hero walking slowly up the hill, as they 
 descended it. 
 
 " Here is one of the oddities!** cried 
 Anarella, " the man, who threw me from 
 him; Lord what a horrid, fierce looking 
 creature he is! and what a dress!** 
 
 The old lady put on her spectacles, 
 and examined the countenance of Haver- 
 ill, as he slowly approached: when he 
 came opposite the carriage, he saw
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 14^ 
 
 the ladies looking at him, and with a deep 
 blush, that shewed he had not forgotten 
 his first interview, and an ease, and 
 gracefulness of manner, that proved he 
 was used to genteel society, he touched 
 his hat as he passed. 
 
 Mrs. St. Arno bowed in return to his 
 compliment, but Anarella, who, besides 
 the scene on the stairs, remembered that 
 in her own room, turned her head to the 
 other side of the carriage. 
 
 " Did you ever see such a strange, 
 mad looking man," cried the young lady. 
 *' I declare, I could have fancied he looked 
 savage at me!" 
 
 " That would have been fancy, my 
 dear,'' said the aunt, " for certainly it 
 looks more in sorrow than: in anger. I 
 think, I never saw deep, heart-sunk woe 
 written in more legible characters on any 
 man's face. I should like to know his 
 history." 
 
 Anarella laughed at this, and said, " it 
 was lucky she had not felt so strong an 
 n 3.
 
 150 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 interest about the man, as it would have 
 been called a growing fancy." To which, 
 her aunt replied gravely, *' that the stranger 
 seemed a staid, sober person, and too old 
 for such a goose-cap as her Anarella. 
 But, I think, he would be a very proper 
 companion for me,'* continued she, "and 
 who knows what might happen ? Why, 
 you tell me, I am growing every day 
 younger, so by and by, I shall be autho- 
 rized to do a very young trick, perhaps. 
 But, my dear girl, we must think about 
 your business ! I always avoid speaking 
 of it, as much as possible, but some plan 
 must be pursued; and, as we want infor- 
 mation, I must, I think, closet the land- 
 lady." 
 
 Anarella sighed, and said, to-morrow 
 would do, at which, her aunt shook her 
 head, and vowed, that she hated the word 
 to-morrow, while to-day was in existence. 
 
 " But, I shall take the whole conduct 
 on myself," said she, " I believe, it will
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 151 
 
 turn out nothing at all, but we will do our 
 best." 
 
 Anarella would have thanked her, but 
 they found themselves at the door of the 
 Cheese-toaster, and having deposited 
 them there, we will close our chapter. 
 
 H 4
 
 ( 152 ) 
 
 CHAP. XVI. 
 
 Mrs, St, Arno /s. acquainted'with the State of Pub- 
 lic Affairs. — Alarms. — The Arrival of the Mar^ 
 quis of Hardenhrass. — His Companion. — A 
 Blood Parson. — Observations on the Party. — 
 Thej/ go to Rhanvellyn. — A Peep from a Rock. 
 
 When Mrs. St. Arno and her niece went 
 up to their apartment, they found Mrs. 
 Dunn sitting weeping bitterly in the 
 midst of their clothes, and not a single 
 preparation made for removal. On in- 
 quiry into the cause of this inattention 
 to her mistress's orders, she replied in 
 the following words, interspersed with 
 sundry tears, and sobs, and groans. 
 
 " Cause, Ma'am? Oh I cause enough! 
 — Oh ! its all over ; — there's an end. — 
 A con — con — conco — co — '' 
 
 " Don't be such a fool, Dunn ! " 
 said Anarella impatiently. " A con— 
 what?"
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 153 
 
 " A confabulation, Miss !" sobbed 
 Dunn. 
 
 " Aye, probably !" said Mrs. St. Arno ; 
 *' it will not be the first nor the last." 
 
 " Oh dear, yes. Ma'am, it will be the 
 last/' cried Dunn; "and will make an 
 entire end." 
 
 " Of what ?" asked the mistress. 
 
 **^0f me ! — of us all !" said Dunn. 
 
 " That's terrible !" said' her mistress ; 
 " but, however, in the meantime, put up 
 these things, and order my own horses 
 to the carriage." 
 
 As if bewildered, Mrs. Dunn departed 
 to perform the last part of the order, leav- 
 ing the first to be done by Miss St. Arno, 
 who set about packing the things with 
 great alacrity. 
 
 Dunn returned in five minutes, say* 
 ing, that the bad news had had such an 
 effect on every body, that Broadhead 
 could not get the carriage mended; 
 '' There is nobody left in no place, 
 H 5
 
 154 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 ma'am/' said she ; " and every body, 
 but just you, is frightened to death.'* 
 
 " What is there to be frightened 
 about ?" said her mistress : *' I have not 
 yet heard." 
 
 " Lord, Ma'am, I'm sure, begging 
 your pardon, I told it to Miss Starno !" 
 said Dunn. 
 
 " Told me ! what ?" cried Anarella. 
 
 " About the Prophet, Miss," said 
 Dunn. " I told you there was to be a 
 confabulation, I think they call it." 
 
 " Oh ! a meeting of all the Prophets ! 
 is it, Dunn ?" asked Mrs. St. Arno, 
 gravely. 
 
 Dunn, who was exceedingly irritable, 
 and fancied that the ladies misunder« 
 stood her on purpose, here lost the com- 
 mand of her temper, and said, that it 
 would be a fiery meeting for some people 
 that laughed at it now : that, for her 
 part, she had been taught to regard the 
 Scripture ; and God said the world should
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 155 
 
 be destroyed by a confabulation, and not 
 by water. *' It is no joke, Miss,"" said 
 she *' to me, whatever it may be to you^ 
 Miss; and I know I never would have 
 left Hereford, if Td a-thought Td a been 
 burnt in Vales." 
 
 The ladies, who had now found out 
 that she was talking of a conflagration, 
 laughed not a little; ?nd, on inquiry, 
 they discovered that Mr. Diggle was the 
 prophet ; and that his prediction had, by 
 this time, alarmed the whole town of 
 Pont-y-V — . The lower orders of people 
 had quitted their labour, and run either 
 to the alehouse or the meeting, as their 
 dispositions and habits dictated ; and the 
 more respectable inhabitants were busy 
 in settling their temporal as well as eter- 
 nal affairs. Among the true converts to 
 the opinion of Mr. Biggie's infallibility 
 were the domestics of Mrs. St. Arno, 
 and the girl Joan, who said, that now 
 the world would be convinced Joannas 
 was the true virgin. 
 
 h6
 
 156 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Nobody at Pont-y-V — perhaps, suf- 
 fered more than a gentleman mentioned 
 in this work more than once, called Jus- 
 tice Hellborough, and known in the town 
 and neighbourhood by the name of Hell- 
 Kite. He went to the house of Mr. Tho- 
 mas, and procured admission to the pro- 
 phet, who did not spare him in his re- 
 monstrances and admonitions ; but sent 
 him away in so complete a terror of the 
 judgment to come, that he procured the 
 enlargement of a poor woman whom he 
 had caused to be confined in a solitary 
 cell in the prison, for having broken a 
 young twig or two off one of his trees, 
 to give as a whip to her little girl who 
 was running by her side. The child had 
 been sent to the workhouse, where it soon 
 died ; and the poor woman came out of 
 confinement a melancholy picture of 
 wretchedness and insanity. It would fill 
 a volume, if we were to relate the la- 
 bours of the Justice in reversing vile act§ 
 of arbitrary power during the time hi^
 
 HARDENER ASS AND HAVERILL. 15?: 
 
 terror lasted ; and we will, therefore, for 
 the present, leave him to his own happy 
 reflections and agreeable fears. 
 
 Mrs. Puffin, though somewhat infected 
 with the general alarm, was by no means 
 inattentive to her own interest, and she 
 had a basket of provisions, and a small 
 hamper of wine put up according to Mrs. 
 St. Arno's orders ; but not all her in trea- 
 ties could induce the smith to repair 
 the carriage, and the lady must have 
 used a post-chaise, had not the Pedlar, 
 who was drinking with the smith in the 
 kitchen, offered to do the job if he might 
 use his tools, to which the smith con- 
 senting, Mrs. St. Arno found herself 
 fully prepared for departing about five 
 o'clock, so much later than she had in^ 
 tended or wished,^ that she began to feel 
 a little angry at the folly of Diggle, and 
 the natives of Pont-y-V — . 
 
 She had paid her bill, and was about 
 to leave her apartment, when the Mar*-
 
 158 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 quis of Hardenbrass in a plain travel- 
 ling chariot drove up to the door, and 
 Mrs. St. Arno impatient to be gone, took 
 her niece's arm, and both ladies letting 
 down their veils, hurried through the 
 house and entered their carriage. They 
 drove off at a quick pace, and left Mrs. 
 Puffin at liberty to give her whole atten- 
 tion to the illustrious stranger. 
 
 It was in vain that Mrs. Puffin panted 
 for the honour of receiving the Marquis 
 of Hardenbrass under her roof, he sat 
 squeezed back in one corner of his cha- 
 riot, the other being occupied by a man 
 of business in whom the Marquis had the 
 greatest confidence, and who, in the 
 various alterations he had made on the 
 estates of the Marquis, always in his 
 patron's presence declared, that he fol- 
 lowed the lead of a superior genius, and 
 was but an humble workman, who exe- 
 cuted the elegant idea of the seientifie 
 architect. This gentleman's name was
 
 HARDENER ASS AND HAVERILL. 159 
 
 Timothy Slapdash, Esq. but as we may 
 perhaps have occasion to mention him 
 again, we will leave him for the present. 
 In the second carriage was the chap- 
 lain, who divided his patron's favor with 
 Mr. Slapdash, and as their walks were 
 different, they contrived not to interfere 
 with each other. The Rev. Elias Blood 
 could drive, box, fence, run, play at 
 hazard, billiards, chess, backgammon, 
 whist, vingt-un, or any other game of 
 chance or skill. No man was a better, 
 judge of horse-flesh, or knew the odds 
 more surely, and it had been whispered 
 in the circle he was known in, that his 
 friendship for the Marqtiis had induced 
 him to qualify himself to be equally use- 
 ful in his amours, as in his amusements. 
 The Marquis could not stir without him, 
 and though he was himself longing to 
 visit a friend in Norfolk, where the 
 pheasants cauld not die in peace unless 
 he had a flash at them, he was obliged to 
 journey into Wales. His dress was so. un-
 
 160 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILt. 
 
 clerical, that unless where he was known, 
 nobody would have guessed his profes- 
 sion ; indeed he was as heartily ashamed 
 of it, as it had reason to be of him. 
 
 The people of Pont-y-V — crowded 
 round the carriages, while the horses, 
 which had been sent on some hours be- 
 fore from C , were put to them, 
 
 and among the rest, the Pedlar who has 
 so often been mentioned in this true and 
 authentic history. He seemed very 
 anxious to see the Marquis, and mounts 
 ing on a bench at the outside of the 
 door, he gazed full into the carriage. 
 
 The Marquis was some time before he 
 perceived him, and when he did, he 
 drew down the blind of the window, 
 and called out to the men to make 
 haste. They obeyed as quickly as pos- 
 sible, and were just setting off full speed, 
 as usual, when one of the horses lost a 
 shoe. This accident obliged the party 
 to. stop again, and while the Pedlar re- 
 paired it, Mr, Slapdash, who wished to
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 1^1 
 
 shew himself, and his familiarity with his 
 superiors to the people, prevailed on his 
 patron to alight, and look at an old 
 market-cross, now considerably decayed. 
 
 Accordingly the carriage door being 
 opened, the gentlemen walked slowly up 
 the town, followed by the idle mob, and 
 after criticising and fixing the exact date 
 of the cross, they re-entered their vehiclQ 
 and pursued their journey. 
 
 ** Well !" cried Joan, as soon as they 
 were gone, " I never was more disap=' 
 pointed in my days. I always thought 
 your Markasses was fine, gay handsome 
 gentlemen, and that poor creature is no 
 such thing ! I wish I may never be mar- 
 ried if his stomach is not as big as Fill- 
 pail's, and she'll calve in a week! and his 
 legs look so thick and so swelled as if they 
 could hardly carry that, and his behind 
 part, which is heavy enough." " For 
 shame! for shame!" cried her mistress, 
 " hold your prophane tongue, you saucy 
 Velsh slut you ; to t^lk so wiqkedly of
 
 162 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 your betters] Everybody says the Markis 
 is a very handsome man, and the ladies 
 are all mad of him.'' 
 
 " I vi^onder at their taste/' replied Joan, 
 " for his two cheeks are just like two 
 bladders of hog's-lard, and he has got 
 gart hairy whiskers like a beast/' 
 
 f' That has been the fashion a long 
 time," said the Sergeant, " it is like the 
 Germans." 
 
 ** He was very hadsome once," said 
 the Pedlar, " and as genteel as he was 
 handsome. I've heard say too he could 
 dance better than a dancing master, but 
 noo he has t' goot." 
 
 " The nlore's the pityl" said Mrs. Puf- 
 fin, "that a handsome man should be 
 changed so, and be so blown and pursy 
 like." 
 
 "You'd better mind what you say," 
 said the Pedlar, " for he trimmed a man 
 soundly that said he was fat, and made 
 him pay swinging damages for taking 
 away his character."
 
 H ARDENBRASS AND H AVERILL. 1 63 
 
 This assertion of the Pedlar made the 
 company laugh, spite of their expectation 
 of the general conflagration ; but the 
 Pedlar swore it was a fact, and added that 
 afterwards the writer called him a Dorniss, 
 (meaning probably Adonis,) and that he 
 had gone by that name ever since. 
 
 And now we must leave the inhabitants 
 of the Cheese-toaster to pursue their 
 subject if they please, and follow the il- 
 lustrious original, who was dragged up 
 the hill much slower than he liked; fr 
 one of his peculiarities was a constant 
 restlessness, and desire to fly from place 
 to place, as fast or faster than any, mere- 
 ly mortal horses, could carry him. On 
 the present occasion the drivers thought 
 it prudent to let their beasts relax in their 
 efforts, and when reprimanded, they said 
 that it was as much as all their lives were 
 worth to go at such a pace on that road. 
 The Marquis swore, but he was obliged 
 to be content, and the increasing duski-
 
 l64 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILt. 
 
 ness made his companions wish heartily 
 to see Rhanvellyn Castle, 
 
 By the time the noble party had passed 
 the dangerous road cut in the rock, and 
 the no less dangerous bridge, the moon 
 had risen and enlightened the romantic 
 scene in the most enchanting manner. 
 The Marquis, who was really a man of 
 taste, viewed the prospect with pleasure, 
 and raising his eyes to the side of the 
 mountain, he beheld the figure of a man, 
 bending forward from a sort of shelf on 
 which he was seated, and eying him with 
 great attention. The face of his examiner 
 was not visible, as the light did not shine 
 upon it, but his own might be distinctly 
 seen, for it was exposed to the full light 
 of the moon. Though there was really 
 nothing very extraordinary in this, as any 
 foot passenger who heard the equipages 
 coming w^ould naturally climb up the first 
 practicable place he could meet with, and 
 as naturally examine the people in the 
 carriages, yet the Marquis seemed to be
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 165 
 
 Einusually alarmed, and was at first in- 
 clined to stop and examine who so im- 
 pertinent a gazer was ; it is probable that 
 the fear of an accident on so dangerous a 
 road, only prevented him. 
 
 Slight as this incident was, and easily 
 accounted for, it at once destroyed the 
 pleasure he had in the scene ; and, when 
 Dr. Stirit welcomed him to the Castle, 
 he replied only by an inclination of the 
 head, and retired for an hour to the oc- 
 tagon library that had been prepared for 
 his reception.
 
 ( 166 ) 
 
 CHAP. XVII. 
 
 Mr. Haver ill returns to Pont-y-V — . — Some Ac- 
 count of the State in which he found that Place, 
 — Mrs. Puffin's Information, — HaverilVs Mis- 
 takes, — The Inconvenience of public Alarm. 
 
 We doubt not that our ingenious readers 
 will already have guessed, that the figure 
 that had so alarmed the Marquis of Har- 
 denbrass was no other than that of our 
 hero; and, in truth, that was the case. 
 If we recollect rightly, the last time we 
 had the pleasure of meeting him was when 
 we descended the hill to Pont-y-V — with 
 the ladies, and he was then walking to- 
 wards Rhanvellyn. 
 
 We do not feel ourselves authorized, on 
 this occasion, in fully explaining why he 
 chose to take that walk rather than any 
 other, or why he contrived or happened 
 to stay out so late, as to be under the ne-
 
 HARDllNBRASS AND HAVERILL. 167 
 
 cessity of climbing the mountain to avoid 
 the carriages : in due place and time, he 
 will explain all this, and many other much 
 more material circumstances himself; or, 
 if not, we will do it for him. 
 
 It was near eight o'clock when he en- 
 tered the town of Pont-y-V — ; and he 
 felt some surprise at an air of unusual 
 bustle in the streets, and at seeing two or 
 three knots of people talking. Their 
 words reached his ear as he passed along, 
 but not always intelligibly; and he en- 
 tered the Cheese- toaster without being 
 at all aware of the cause of the general 
 commotion. The best room, as well as 
 the kitchen, was filled with company, who 
 exceedingly rejoiced Mrs. Puffin, by 
 drowning their cares in her liquor, and 
 they made a dreadful noise. — 
 
 " I shall not sleep,"' thought Haverill 
 to himself: " even if I could, this noise 
 would prevent me." He, however, pass- 
 ed through the house, and had reached
 
 168 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 the foot of the stairs, when Mrs. Puffin 
 accosted him : 
 
 " Dear, Your Honor ! I was afeard 
 you was gone ! Have you heard the bad 
 news as is in the field ?" 
 
 " No !" replied Haverill. 
 
 This abrupt and forbidding monosyl- 
 lable did not discourage Mrs. Puffin, who 
 was delighted to have found yet one who 
 had not learnt the public calamity ; and, 
 for the nine hundred and ninety-ninth 
 time, she repeated it. 
 
 " La, Your Honor ! it's very bad ; 
 there's going to be a fornication 1" 
 
 " A what ?" said Haverill. 
 
 " La, Your Honor ! — A general for- 
 nication, day after to-morrow, the second 
 of November.'* 
 
 In spite of his gloom, and the sort of 
 dislike he had conceived against his spe- 
 cies, and their mirth and folly, he almost 
 smiled, and would have proceeded with- 
 out replying, but Mrs. Puffin had cut off
 
 HARDENBRA8S AND HAVERILL. 169 
 
 his retreat, and was between him and the 
 stairs. She continued her speech thus : 
 
 <* La ! Your Honor does not seem to 
 mind he ; but the word's given, and no- 
 body won't escape. There's nar a crea- 
 ture in Pont-y-V — , man, woman, and 
 child, as don't tremble at the thoughts of 
 it ; and old Madam Pincher, as is seventy- 
 two, and as lived without fire all last vin- 
 ter, has gived away five shillings in cop- 
 per to-day. She is as rich as Crishus, as 
 folks says, and now she vants to buy her- 
 self off." 
 
 Still Haverill could not comprehend 
 why an old woman of seventy-two should 
 be alarmed in such a conjuncture ; and 
 he attempted again to pass. 
 
 " Good Lord, bless us!" cried the 
 landlady, *< why. Your Honor does not 
 mind he ! It is from heaven, as the pro- 
 phet do say. Fire and brimstone on our 
 Sodom and To-morrow. Not a stroke of 
 work has man, woman, or child dood 
 since the news corned ^ and good news 
 
 VOL. I. I
 
 170 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 enough it is for the Cheese-toaster, for 
 them that has the money says they might 
 as well enjoy theirselves." 
 
 " I shall want a man to go to C — for 
 me, to-morrow," said Haverill, " to fetch 
 a parcel. He must set off early, for 1 
 foresee a change of weather, and he had 
 better not be late. He may come to my 
 room for directions. '* 
 
 This delivered Haverill from his land- 
 lady, arid he went up stairs. At any other 
 time, there would have been twenty peo- 
 ple ready to undertake a walk to C — , which 
 was but at the distance of eight miles, for 
 the gentleman, but now, not one would 
 put himself to the trouble of moving, and 
 there seemed to be a general determina- 
 tion to enjoy the little of life that re- 
 mained, and to leave the gentry to work 
 for themselves. When Joan carried Mr. 
 Haverill his supper, she told him, that the 
 great fire had so tired the people, that no 
 body could stir. 
 
 " A Fire ?" said Haverill, " when ?'*
 
 HARDENER ASS AND HAVERILL. I?! 
 
 " It will be after to-morrow, your Ho- 
 nor," said Joan. I should have expected 
 that answer from an Irishwoman, thought 
 Haverill, but there are bulls every where. 
 
 " Then, I can't have a messenger ?*' 
 asked he. " No, your Honor," replied 
 Joan with a curtsey, ''for David ap-Tho- 
 mas has gived up going, because of the 
 bad news. It has touched every body ! 
 Old Justice Hellborough, as they say, 
 have fined hisself eighteen times to day, 
 for swearing purfame oaths, and gived 
 the money to poor Mary Jones, as lost 
 her senses, with being in a sun terry cell. 
 Doctor Kill, as was all in all before Doe- 
 tor Stirit corned, has visited round to ax 
 forgivings, and they say, when the work 
 begins, he will throw his shop out of vin- 
 dore, and Lawyer Gulp-ap-Gulp has sent 
 for the priest, to give him a solution for 
 his shins." 
 
 Haverill heard no part of this speech, 
 butthe first sentence ; he sat with his head 
 I %
 
 172 HARDENBKASS AND HAVERILL- 
 
 resting on his hands, and having deter- 
 mined to walk to C — himself, if the 
 morning was fine, he told Joan to leave 
 him till he should ring. After he had 
 eaten his supper, he sat ruminating till he 
 felt exceedingly exhausted, and this, per- 
 haps, procured him some hours sleep, 
 which he enjoyed, in spite of the noise 
 that lasted till morning.
 
 ( 17S ) 
 
 CHAP. xvm. 
 
 The Day of reckonings or the Prophet in Glory* 
 — The Sealing of the Joannites, — General Ex- 
 peetation, — Happy Evasion ofDiggle* 
 
 As, if in contradiction to the general 
 expectation of fire from heaven, the 
 morning of the first day of November was 
 uncommonly cold for the season, and be- 
 fore noon it was observed, that some of 
 the peaks of the mountains were newly 
 enveloped in garments of snow. This 
 would not have prevented Mr. Haverill 
 from walking, or riding to C — , if he had 
 been able to do so, but he was very un- 
 well, and remained in bed the greatest 
 part of the day. 
 
 When he arose, he heard an unusual 
 uproar in the town, and spite of his mi- 
 santhrophy, feeling a desire to know the 
 reason, he descended to the street. 
 I 3
 
 174^ HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 He there, reader, beheld a scene wor- 
 thy the days of the good Prophet Jere- 
 miah, for it was no less than the greatest 
 part of the population of Pont-y-V — utter- 
 ing lamentations, in various keys and va- 
 rious manners, and intermixing them 
 with prayers to the Poet Diggle, or per- 
 haps, on this occasion, we ought to say, 
 Prophet Diggle, who ran some risk of 
 being torn in pieces through mere vene- 
 ration and kindness. He stood in the 
 midst of them, swelling in the spirit of 
 pride, internally, quite as much as he 
 was swollen externally, by the Chancery 
 suit of the day before, of which, the ef- 
 fects were visible enough j and his black 
 eyes andhuge head, that seemed too heavy 
 and colossal for his shoulders, added an 
 expressive and characteristic solemnity to 
 his whole appearance. A crowd of wo- 
 men of all ranks pressed round him to 
 kiss his garment or his hand, and he be- 
 ing unwilling, to lose an opportunity to 
 make converts to the right doctrine, now,
 
 -H-\RDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. l?^ 
 
 when matters were brought to so near a 
 crisis, determined to address the audience. 
 He made signs with his hand that he 
 wished to be heard, and was immediately 
 hoisted upon a corner of the market cross 
 and spoke as follows : 
 
 " It rejoices me, unhappy, condemned 
 brethren ! it rejoices me to see that now, 
 when the combustibles are prepared, and 
 ready to fall like the lightning of that 
 false deity, Jove, and the not less terrible 
 fire and brimstone of the true God, it 
 rejoices me, as I said before, makes my 
 entrails sing for exultation, to behold, 
 that, like true Christians, you are all in 
 proper frame of mind for so decisive a 
 judgment. Yet, a little while, and we 
 are no more : yet, a little while, and we 
 are but dust and ashes ! Let me then 
 persuade you to make sure of heaven, 
 by believing on that woman who is to be 
 the true Virgin, who beareth the true 
 Shiloh in her bosom ! That woman who 
 has beat Beelzebub out of the field, and 
 I 4
 
 176 HARDENRRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 made him yield ! Does she not say, by 
 woman came sin, and by me shall come 
 redemption from sin ? To-night, yea, to- 
 night she brings forth; and to-morrow 
 shall you see her fly to heaven with the 
 Shiloh in her bosom. Believe, believe 
 then, believe to day ! To-morrow will be 
 too late. Be ye sealed unto salvation ! 
 Be ye true Joannites! I, an unworthy 
 Prophet of the pure Joanna ! I, a Pro- 
 phet who see into futurity — '' 
 
 Mr. Diggle was here prevented from 
 proceeding, by loud cries of the female 
 Joannites, who were pretty numerous in 
 the assembly, and who raised loud ho- 
 sannahs to his honour. They nearly, 
 if not entirely worshipped him, and the 
 men in general followed their example, 
 when a murmur began to run through 
 the assembly, that a very decent, harmless, 
 woman had been so terrified by the ex- 
 pectation of the fiery judgment, that 
 she had hung herself, and been found 
 quite dead. Diggle improved this cir-
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 177 
 
 cumstance to his advantage, and said if 
 she had been sealed, it could not possibly 
 have happened ; and there being in the 
 town a regular agent of Joanna, who 
 sold seals at the moderate price of one 
 shilling, he was straightway besieged, 
 and obliged (his stock not being suffi- 
 ciently large) to cut his ware into small 
 pieces, so that none of the good people 
 of Pont-y-V — might go to heaven with- 
 out a passport. 
 
 Our hero, who was a spectator of all 
 this, was impious enough to wonder whe- 
 ther the Prophet had any share in the 
 harvest, and as he was now pretty well 
 informed on the subject of the public 
 calamity, he felt some curiosity to know 
 how affairs would terminate the next 
 morning. 
 
 Mr. Diggle had been indiscreet enough 
 to fix the hour of twelve for the com- 
 pletion of the prophecy, and long before 
 that time universal terror or universal 
 drunkenness prevailed. The few, yqfj 
 I 5
 
 17S HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 few, who retained their senses, were 
 alarmed for what the consequences of 
 the discovery of the mistake might be. 
 It so happened, that even Mr. Diggle 
 began to have some inward doubting as 
 to the result, a doubting which probably 
 sprung from the hope of being mistaken. 
 Whatever its source was, it moved Mr. 
 Diggle to provide for his own safety, by 
 quitting the house of his friend Mr. 
 Thomas 5 for if the people should find 
 that he was mistaken, he thought he 
 should be better any where else than in 
 Pont-y-V — . 
 
 It was not, however, a very easy mat- 
 ter for so public a character as Mr. Dig- 
 gle had become, to quit the house of his 
 friend without being seen ; for many of 
 the converts seemed to think their hopes 
 of salvation depended on their proximity 
 to the Prophet. They besieged the 
 house, and as the hour approached, they 
 ffazed at heaven trembling.
 
 tIARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 179 
 
 About ten o'clock, under pretence of 
 i-etiring to silent and solitary prayer, Mr. 
 Diggle left the house, and went into a 
 little summer-house in the garden: he had 
 desired not to be disturbed ; and he knew 
 the family would comply with his wish. 
 
 Having locked the door, he took a 
 view of the adjacent gardens and pre- 
 mises ; and, fancying that he perceived 
 a way by which he might escape to the 
 
 road leading to C , he determined to 
 
 try, and to send by the carrier for his 
 portmanteau. 
 
 He found some difficulty in squeezing 
 his body through a sash window of no 
 very large dimensions; but at last he 
 succeeded ; and having rather lost his 
 balance, he slipped into a stream that 
 ran under the window, and that wet him 
 completely above the knee. This, how- 
 ever, he disregarded, and bending low, 
 that he might not be perceived by any 
 stray inhabitant of the neighbouring 
 houses, he made his way through a plan- 
 I 6
 
 180 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 tation of gooseberry trees, which, it must 
 be confessed, had so Httle regard for the 
 Poet, that they tore his flesh and his gar- 
 ments more than once. 
 
 At the extremity of the garden, how- 
 ever, he arrived in safety, and there he 
 found, to his great dismay, that the thick 
 high hedge had not, as he had fancied, 
 any outlet. What was to be done ? It 
 must be passed ! Making, then, the only 
 resolution that could avail him, he peeped 
 on each side, to spy, if possible, the 
 weakest part, and essayed to get over it. 
 After much exertion, much tearing of 
 flesh, and much rending of garments, he 
 reached the other side, and found him- 
 self in a neat little garden belonging to a 
 woman who had the day before become 
 his disciple. Luckily for him, she had 
 now joined the crowd in front of Mr. 
 Thomas's house j and it would have been 
 still more lucky, if a pig she kept had 
 been inspired with an equal share of de- 
 votion! but that unclean animal some-
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 181 
 
 how taking offence at Mr. Diggle's in- 
 trusion as he sneaked through the yard, 
 attacked him, and was not driven off till 
 she had lacerated his leg. At last, how- 
 ever, she was stunned by a blow on the 
 head from a huge stake the valiant Dig- 
 gle found near, and left for dead on the 
 field. He tied his pocket handkerchief 
 round his leg, and gained a lane in which 
 were a few miserable dwellings, now 
 emptied of their inhabitants ; and this, 
 as he had supposed, led him to the road 
 
 to C , which was very miry and 
 
 deep, and on which he consequently 
 made no rapid progress. 
 
 By the time he had reached the second 
 mile-stone, and he leaned against it, as 
 well to rest his leg, which was very pain- 
 ful, as to consult his watch, to know 
 whether the awful time, which he yet 
 believed in his heart would come, though 
 he hoped it might not, was near at hand. 
 This information, however, he could not 
 have, for his watch was gone, having
 
 18^ HARDENBKASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 slipped out of his pocket when contend- 
 ing with the briars ; and, though he felt 
 half-convinced that he should not survive 
 twelve, nay, two hours longer, he bit- 
 terly regretted it. Being too near Pont- 
 y.V — , however, to loiter, he again pro- 
 ceeded on his way, and had not gone 
 above a quarter of a mile, before he met 
 a sort of light covered cart, or rather a 
 room on wheels drawn by two asses, and 
 driven by a girl of about twelve years, 
 who looked very angry, and very impa- 
 tient. But as this chapter has run to some 
 length, and we have occasion to lay down 
 our pen, we will here conclude it.
 
 ( 183 ) 
 
 CHAP. XIX. 
 
 Diggle's paitiful Situation, — He meets "with Succour.'—^ 
 Returns to Pont-y- V — . — Ho>vo uselessly Haverill 
 employed himself. — The Effects of a General Con- 
 
 flagration. — A Stranger Introduced A Lucky 
 
 Guess, or a Discovery in Medicine, — Letters, 
 
 Lame, wet, torn, and ragged, black, blue, 
 and swollea, Mr. Diggle had so much the 
 appearance of a beggar that the little dri- 
 ver, who sat whipping her steeds, con- 
 ceived it would be very fine sport to add 
 one splash more to his all-bespattered 
 clothes ; and the road being narrow, and 
 Diggle havingturnedhis face away to avoid 
 having it recognized, she contrived to pin 
 him up between the cart and the bank, 
 and if she had not stopped to tell him how 
 sorry she was, perhaps he might have re- 
 ceived some serious injury, that would 
 have deprived the world of the brightest
 
 184 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 poetical star that has visited this lower he- 
 misphere for some ages, at least in his own 
 opinion. 
 
 The travellers in the movable house 
 immediately descended from their abode, 
 and the man assisted Mr. Diggle to dis- 
 engage himself. Indeed it was fortunate 
 for that illustrious individual, that this 
 man was actuated by so christian-like a 
 spirit, for his foot was under the wheel, 
 and might have been still worse crushed 
 than it was, if it had not been carefully 
 released. 
 
 This man, who gained his livelihood by 
 the credulity of others, had acquired a fa- 
 cility in finding out his company, and 
 judging rather by the good linen Mr. 
 Diggle's neck displayed, than by the state 
 of his lower garments, he supposed that 
 he was not very poor. He therefore was 
 a little lavish in his apologies for the awk- 
 wardness of his girl ; and Diggle having 
 been incapacitated from pursuing his 
 journey on foot, he (the stranger) kindly
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL; 18.^ 
 
 offered to convey him to Pont-y-V — in 
 his vehicle. 
 
 To return to Pont-y-V was almost as 
 bad as being left lame, in November, on a 
 dirty road ; but as the preservation of the 
 individual was a duty, seeing that twelve 
 o'clock had not struck, or had not brought 
 with it the fiery wrath he had supposed 
 almost inevitable, Mr. Diggle mounted 
 the room on wheels, with the assistance of 
 his new friend j and the girl, having re- 
 ceived a severe reprimand, and strict 
 orders to drive carefully, and jolt the lame 
 man as little as possible, they began their 
 journey to Pont-y-V — . 
 
 As they went slowly along, the poet 
 had an opportunity of observing the cu- 
 rious box in which he was now, by the 
 malice of fortune inclosed. In one corner 
 was a very small stove for fire, and a flue; 
 in the other a square wooden box, which 
 served the purpose of a table externally, 
 and which contained the whole stock in 
 trade of its owner. A few iron kitchen
 
 186 HARDENER ASS AND HAVERILl. 
 
 Utensils adorned the walls on one side, 
 and on the other was deposited the mat- 
 trass on which the inhabitants slept, and a 
 blanket or two. It was lighted by a win- 
 dow at the end opposite the door, and a 
 long box which held their provisions 
 served for a seat. 
 
 The master of this curious apartment 
 was a very thin, bony man, rather tall than 
 short, with a long narrow face, a nose and 
 chin exceedingly pointed, deep-set, small, 
 round, light grey eyes, and a sallow com- 
 plexion. His mouth was small, and 
 having lost his upper teeth, sunk ; and he 
 never moved a muscle of his face so as to 
 discompose a great gravity, which he had 
 assumed so long, that it was become natu- 
 ral to him. 
 
 His wife was rather a pretty woman, 
 about twenty years younger than himself^ 
 and though her dress was of the shabby 
 genteel order, she neither appeared to 
 want good manners nor intelligence. 
 Perceiving that Diggle was in great pain,
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 187 
 
 she offered to examine his foot, saying 
 that Doctor George Slanger had a specific 
 for most things, and that perhaps they 
 might do him some good. The Doctor 
 nodded in approbation of his lady's pro- 
 posal, and the foot of Diggle was rubbed 
 with some opodeldoc, which the Doctor 
 said was quite as efficacious as any thing 
 he could make. Then the wound on his 
 leg was looked at, and something applied 
 to that, and as by this time the town of 
 Pont-y-V — was in sight, the Doctor in- 
 quired where he would chuse to be set 
 down. 
 
 This simple question puzzled Mr. Dig- 
 gle much, for as noon was now certainly 
 past, and as unhappily his prediction had 
 not been verified, he feared more than 
 any thing to shew his face in Pont-y-V — . 
 Chusing rather to trust to his present 
 conductors, than to the people of that 
 place, he said, that he had left Pont-y-V — 
 in the morning, to avoid seeing a person 
 who was on the point of arresting him,
 
 188 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 and that he would give the Doctor a pound 
 note to allow him to stay in his carriage 
 till night, when he might be able to leave 
 it, and reach the house of a friend who 
 would secrete him a day or two, till his 
 foot was in a condition to travel again. 
 To this proposal his conductors agreed, 
 and he again entered the market-place of 
 Pont-y-V — , and again saw the sign of 
 the Cheese-toaster, in spite of the pain- 
 ful endeavours he had used to avoid 
 both. 
 
 Mr. Haverill had hoped that he should 
 be able to procure a post-chaise, on the 
 second of November, to convey him to 
 
 C , though he could not on the first, 
 
 but Joan informed him, that not a boy 
 would stir till past twelve o* clock, and 
 having passed a very indifferent night, 
 he tried to compose himself to sleep 
 again. But the state of his own body 
 and mind, added to that of the public 
 body, prevented him ; and as faithflil 
 biographers, we are bound to confess,
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 189 
 
 that this considerably increased his irri- 
 tability, and of course his disorder. His 
 mind dwelt upon every agonizing recol- 
 lection, as if with renewed pleasure after 
 the restraint it had suffered, and he 
 more than once uttered his thoughts 
 aloud, in tones that would have attracted 
 the attention of the people in the house, 
 if it had not been occupied by the ex- 
 pectation of the general conflagration. 
 
 " Weak and inefficient wretch, '* cried 
 he, " then once more sickness snatches 
 vengeance from thee; and when thy 
 strength returns, some touch of love for 
 those who have testified so little for thee, 
 shall again unnerve thy arm. But this 
 must not be, I will not die here un- 
 known and leave my adversary to tri- 
 umph y T must not sufier myself to die 
 here — I must have assistance ; I will 
 write to H , yes." 
 
 Haverill continued to think, to grieve, 
 to form resolutions, and to change them, 
 when the noise without encreased to
 
 190 HAUDENBliASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 clamour, and he heard the name of 
 Diggle repeated a thousand times, by 
 more than twice a thousand tongues. 
 He would have got up to see the scene, 
 but he had determined to take care of 
 himself, and he thought it more prudent 
 to lie still. He rang many times for 
 Joan, but Joan was among the niob, 
 and he was obliged to content him- 
 self. 
 
 About half after one, he heard some 
 one tap at his door, and fancying it was 
 either Joan or her mistress, he called 
 "Come in:" the person obeyed, and 
 presented the identical figure of Doctor 
 George Slanger. 
 
 *' Good God ! Sir, what does this in- 
 trusion mean?" cried Haverill: <« How 
 dare you enter my apartment ?" 
 
 The Doctor, without replying, shut the 
 door close, then advancing with much 
 gravity to the bed, he took his hat from 
 off his rather large, and well powdered 
 wig, and made a profound bow. 
 5
 
 HARDENBRASS AND KAVERILL. 191 
 
 *< What do you want, Sir?'* cried Ha- 
 verill. 
 
 With much deliberation the Doctor 
 took from his pocket a small parcel tied 
 and sealed ; and, putting on his spec- 
 tacles, he read the direction, <* To John 
 Strange, Esq. at the Cheese- toaster, Pont- 
 
 y-V — , shire ;" and added, *« Am I 
 
 right. Sir ? Are you the gentleman this 
 is addressed to ?'^ 
 
 •« I am," said Haverill, snatching the 
 parcel ; " You brought it from the Rev. 
 
 Mr. Budds, at C » I thank you. Sir ; 
 
 and pray desire the landlady to pay you." 
 
 The Doctor made another low bow, 
 but did not retire. He felt again in his 
 pocket, and taking out a paper, at least a 
 quarter of a yard long, he presented it to 
 our hero, saying : 
 
 " Sir, this will sufficiently prognosticate 
 to you the nature of my profession ; and, 
 as my method of examination is most 
 easy and natural, and attended with no 
 inconvenience to the patient, I trust that
 
 19^2 HARDEN BRASS AND HAVKRILL. 
 
 you will not be deterred from consulting 
 me. I perceive that you are not quite 
 well J and, as I have been go fortunate to 
 cure the Rev. Mr. Budds, who Your Ho- 
 nor doubtless knows " 
 
 " Indeed, I do not," replied Haverill, 
 interrupting him, and looking wishfully 
 at his packet ; *' Indeed, I do not, and t 
 have no need of medicine." 
 
 "No need. Sir!" cried the Doctor, 
 " you will pardon me if I say that you 
 have great need ; you are ill, very ill, and 
 if you would but consult me *' 
 
 " Sir !** cried Haverill fiercely, " I do 
 not mean to consult you, or any body 
 here." 
 
 " Pardon me. Sir; there you are 
 wrong," interrupted the Doctor ; ** with 
 me there is no trouble ; you have nothing 
 to do but to send me a little of your morn- 
 ing water fasting. I shall then prescribe 
 with certainty for you." 
 
 " D — n your pertinacity, Sir," cried 
 Haverill. " What I I suppose you would
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 193 
 
 send it me back again under the name of 
 a saline, to be swallowed when going to 
 bed. — I'm not thirsty, Mr. Quack," 
 
 A shghtbhish destroyed the sallowness 
 of Dr. George Slanger's cheek, and a look 
 of consciousness, his usual serenity. He 
 was silent and thoughtful ; and Haverill, 
 beginning to untie his packet, desired 
 him, in a milder tone, to retire, as he wish- 
 ed to have nothing to do with him or his 
 waters. Still the man stopped ; and Ha- 
 verill asked him if he v/ished to be paid ? 
 " I told you the landlady would pay you," 
 said he ; " but if you can't find her, I'll do 
 it myself; — pray reach me my breeches." 
 
 " Sir," said the Doctor, " did you ever 
 see me before ?" 
 
 ** Never," replied Haverill ; <« and I 
 wish to God I did not see you nowl" 
 
 " Did you ever hear my practice spoken 
 of then, that you supposed I could send 
 back the water to its source ? " said the 
 Doctor. 
 
 Haverill had spoken at random j but, 
 
 VOL. I. K
 
 194 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 from the manner in which this question 
 was asked, he felt assured that he had by 
 chance divined the right thing j and, to 
 get rid of the man whose presence pre- 
 vented him from reading letters of great 
 interest, he replied, 
 
 " Yes, Sir, 1 know your practice well ; 
 and I can tell you, that unless you in- 
 stantly quit my room I will expose you/* 
 
 The man, who found his livelihood at 
 stake, said calmly, that he should know 
 how to wipe off such a slander ; that he 
 had practised on all the first personages 
 in Europe ; and, that he trusted a friend 
 of the Reverend Mr. Budd's, who had 
 been his patient many years, would not 
 spread such a calumnious report. Ha- 
 verill was out of patience ; and, snatching 
 up the vessel that contained the liquor so 
 highly valued by Dr. George Slanger, he 
 hurled it after that venerable gentleman, 
 who, having perceived the design of our 
 hero, left the room much less deliberate* 
 ly than he had entered it.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 195 
 
 As soon as Mr. Haverill had driven 
 out the enemy, he fastened his room door, 
 and opened his letters. We will give 
 them to the reader, Mr. Haverill having 
 luckily preserved them. 
 
 LETTER I. 
 
 <* My dear Friend, 
 " According to your wish, I send you 
 a copy of the letter I received from the 
 person. You will perceive that so far 
 from having used means to free himself 
 from the disease, he has increased it, re- 
 lying on your known care. I went to 
 town as agreed, and made all due inqui- 
 ries ; and the result of my investigation 
 is, that on the 28th of October, there 
 certainly was a disclosure, but of what 
 kind has not transpired. I advise you to 
 quit the country you are in : you will pro- 
 bably guess why, by the time this reaches 
 you. When in town, I heard from a per- 
 son intimate with the in , that 
 
 K 2
 
 196 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 the Gros Diable has wondered your ab- 
 sence without leave was not noticed ; you 
 have exceeded your time. I do not ask 
 you to come here, as I am aware I am 
 watched, but how the devil they thought 
 of me I cannot guess. Take care of your 
 health, and if you have any return of 
 the symptoms have recourse to my re- 
 cipe. Budd is not trusted, so don't go 
 near him — he never sees farther than 
 his nose, and sight is his quickest sense— p- 
 verb, sap, sat est. If you will meet me 
 in town, I will tell you all I think, but I 
 dare not say more now. Write what you 
 will do, and put your letter in at C — . 
 
 " I am for a good strong dose without 
 more delay. 
 
 " I inclose 40/. that you may not be 
 stopped for that eternal plague. As 
 usual, over head and ears in dirt. 
 
 « N. T."
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 197 
 
 LETTER IL 
 
 (a copy.) 
 «* ToDr.N. T. 
 
 « Sir, 
 
 «« As I have not the honor to be known 
 to you, excepting from the very slight 
 
 mention Major made of you, as a 
 
 travelling friend, you will not wonder that 
 1 should feel extreme surprise at your mak- 
 ing inquuies respecting family affairs, with 
 which I conceive (no offence Sir to you 
 or the Major) you have neither of you 
 any concern. 
 
 " He has thought proper to absent him- 
 self at a very critical moment, and the 
 consequences will be ruinous to him if he 
 does not instantly resume the duties of 
 his profession. Extraordinary interest in 
 a certain quarter, and the friendship of the 
 
 £ — of whose connection with my 
 
 family you know so well, has prevented 
 any decisive step, but it cannot be long 
 so. Besides all this produces much do- 
 
 K 3
 
 19S HABDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 mestic infelicity, and if, as I understand, 
 you have an influence where it seems I 
 have none, you would do well to use it, 
 to do away all these threatened evils. Ex- 
 cuse my being more explicit. I am, 
 « Sir, 
 " Your very obedient, 
 " Most humble servant, 
 
 " The die is cast then !" said Have- 
 rill, returning the letters to their cover, 
 " and I may, now I am able to move, — I 
 may do myself justice. Oh ! that cold- 
 blooded man 1 No business ? What, the 
 very circumstance that fettered my hands 
 at the moment, no business of mine ! But 
 I must not trust myself in the jaws of the 
 monster. I will go to town, and Twenty- 
 men shall meet me there. I must how- 
 ever take a few days to recruit before 1 
 venture on the journey, and if the wea- 
 ther permits I will reconoitre 1 There 
 cannot be danger in simply looking 
 about.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 199 
 
 Mr. Haverill then wrote a letter to his 
 
 friend at H , and put it under cover 
 
 to Mr. Budd, at C — , desiring that gen- 
 tleman, on the envelope, to have it put in 
 the post immediately. He had now to 
 seek a messenger, and conceiving his bu- 
 siness to be of great importance, he dres- 
 sed himself, and descended to see how 
 aflPairs went on below stairs. 
 
 K 4
 
 ( 200 ) 
 
 CHAP. XX. 
 
 A Tragi'Comedi/, or xvhat mournful Scene Diggle 
 ^itttxtfrom his Hiding-place* — A Mob, — Stirit's 
 
 Curiosity. — The Conclusion of the Prophet's Ad' 
 
 venture at Pont-y' V — . 
 
 The interior of the Cheese-toaster was 
 as still and silent as an hermitage, and 
 Mr. Haverill passed through the house 
 without meeting with a single individual. 
 But at the door there was a numerous 
 assemblage of all orders, some specta- 
 tors, and some actors in a tragi-comedy 
 about to be performed. 
 
 This was no other than the burning of 
 Mr. Diggle by the infuriated populace of 
 Pont-y-V — , or rather we should have 
 said the burning of a straw man whom 
 they had adorned with his name. It wag 
 nearly seven feet high, dressed in a co^ 
 of many colours, and holding a torc^n
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. ^01 
 
 one hand. The head and face were 
 enormously hirge, and the wag who had 
 executed it, had affixed a huge paste- 
 board nose, that overshadowed its chin. 
 The vicar, who was no friend to the 
 Joannites, and who happened to be 
 down, gave an old wig, to make the 
 Prophet look venerable, and this was sur- 
 mounted by a paper cap, similar to those 
 the victims of the Inquisition wear, paint- 
 ed like flames, and with two long ass's 
 ears. 
 
 When Haverill arrived on the spot, 
 they had tied the victim to a stake, and 
 he was surrounded with such combus- 
 tibles ready for lighting, as Taffy could 
 procure on the occasion. The shouts of 
 the populace made the welkin ring ^ and 
 it was observed that Mr. Justice Hell- 
 borough, who had been so wrought on 
 by the prophecy, was particularly voci- 
 ferous. 
 
 Not far from the door of the Cheese- 
 toaster, stood the rolling house of Doc- 
 K 5
 
 S02 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 tor George Slanger ; and several females 
 who were anxious to see all the sport, 
 had fixed themselves on various parts of 
 its exterior, little dreaming that it con- 
 tained within its narrow room, the body 
 of the real Diggle, whose limbs were 
 bedewed with a cold sweat, as he viewed 
 through the window, his own execution, 
 and who quaked with apprehension at 
 every shake of the vehicle. The win- 
 dows of the houses were filled with spec- 
 tators, and as there was no other light 
 but the glare of the torches and the 
 small remains of day-light, the scene had 
 a most imposing effect. 
 
 When all things were prepared, a 
 number of squibs and crackers that had 
 been made for the fifth of November, 
 began the amusement, and a fellow with 
 the word hangman painted on a board 
 which he carried in one hand, affixed to 
 a long pole, threw a flaming torch on the 
 pile. The shouts were redoubled, and 
 various epithets, too gross to be repeated
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 203 
 
 here, were bestowed on the poor victim, 
 who answered never a word, but stood 
 with the most perfect composure, while 
 the flames slowly invaded his lower ex- 
 tremities, 
 
 As to the original Diggle, he blessed 
 God and his stars a thousand times for 
 his happy evasion, and would not have 
 grumbled to have lost a limb, rather than 
 have been exposed to the fury of the 
 Pont-y-V — ites. He determined to 
 stay in his present place of refuge, till 
 this fury was overpast, and then to hie 
 to the house of his friend Thomas, who 
 he conceived must be alarmed at his 
 absence. 
 
 Mr. Haverill was so amused with the 
 scene, that he remained out to witness 
 it, spite of the cold, not very prudent- 
 ly perhaps ; but no man is wise at all 
 times. He had advanced nearer the 
 scene of action, when just before him he 
 saw the figure and heard the voice of 
 K 6
 
 204i HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Doctor Stirit, who was addressing the 
 no less illustrious Doctor George Slanger. 
 
 " Who from ? Budds did you say ?" 
 asked Stirit. 
 
 " Yes, truly, my old patient," replied 
 the other. 
 
 " And what is his name ?" said Stirit. 
 
 " Strange ! John Strange, Esq. that 
 was the label," answered George Slanger. 
 
 A fellow who was making his way to 
 the Prophet, here separated Haverill from 
 the pair of Esculapiuses ; and what he 
 had heard, made him doubt whether it 
 would be safe to trust his letter to any 
 messenger, knowing so well the nature 
 of those he had to deal with ; and he was 
 perplexed and provoked, when his atten- 
 tion was called to the poor criminal at 
 the stake, whose head had been filled 
 with crackers and rockets, and who now 
 fired away with uncommon spirit. Ha- 
 verill heard in the crowd, that the dis- 
 penser of seals had been compelled to
 
 HARDENBRASS ARD HAVERILL. 205 
 
 refund, and glad to escape with whole 
 bones, and that it was supposed Mr. 
 Diggle had gone to C — , as he had made 
 his way through the window of a summer- 
 house. He felt, however, but little inte- 
 rest in the fate of Mr. Diggle, and him- 
 self being chilly, for the nigiit was ex- 
 ceedingly cold, he retreated to his bed, 
 and trusted to morning to furnish him 
 either with a messenger or a post-chaise, 
 which last, if he felt tolerable, he intended 
 to occupy. 
 
 Though Mr. Haverill felt but little in- 
 terest in the fate of the great Diggle, we 
 trust that our readers are not quite so in- 
 sensible, or so ungrateful for the amuse- 
 ment he has already afforded them, as to 
 leave him to thaw and dissolve himself 
 into a dew, without some slight wish to 
 know how he was extricated or deliver- 
 ed from his hiding place. 
 
 And we look upon this as a very proper 
 place and opportunity to introduce a dis- 
 course on gratitude 5 and if we can say
 
 206 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 nothing new on the subject, at least to re- 
 peat over again all that has been said by 
 moralists, poets, and philosophers, from 
 the earliest period of recorded time to the 
 present hour. 
 
 How great the advantage would be to 
 ourselves, whatever it might be to our 
 readers, all those unfortunate mortals who 
 have commenced the trade of book making 
 will easily determine ; and some of them 
 will perhaps accuse us of want of wisdom, 
 in not filHng our pages with quotations of 
 approved and acknowledged merit, of 
 weight, and of value, instead of merely 
 copying the whims of our own fancy. 
 To such, however, we beg to say, that in 
 meddling with edged tools great care and 
 some skill is necessary j and we have seen 
 more than one author, who, like a pig 
 swimming, has cut his own throat when 
 he least intended to do so. 
 
 Some give you quotation after quota- 
 tion, with so little discretion, that there is 
 hardly an *< and " interposed to keep
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 207 
 
 them from jostling one upon another. 
 Others let jou wade through a sea of 
 troubles, till you are ready to give up in 
 despair, and then slily pop a little verdant 
 isle from Shakspeare or Milton, or some 
 of those out-of-mode gentlemen ; and 
 others again, by way of alluring you on, 
 place mottos of sterling worth at the 
 heads of their chapters, often to the great 
 disparagement and disadvantage of what 
 follows. We ourselves are free to confess 
 that we design to follow none of these 
 plans, but shall content ourselves with 
 describing facts that have fallen under our 
 observation. 
 
 Between ten and eleven o'clock, the 
 chief part of the mobility and nobility of 
 Pont-y-V — had retreated either to their 
 own homes or to Mrs. Puffin's, and one or 
 two inferior houses of accommodation; and 
 among the rest Doctor George Slanger 
 (who lost no occasion of doing business) 
 assembled at the Cheese-toaster. He did 
 not however stay late, but prepared to ar-
 
 S08 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 range matters for the night ; and recol- 
 lecting the poor bird shut up in his cage, 
 he went forth to deHver him, and venti- 
 late his room, before he and his wife took 
 possession of it. 
 
 Mr. Diggle, whose grief and mortifi- 
 cation at the insults he had seen his repre- 
 sentative suffer, could be equalled only by 
 the pinchings of hunger in his stomach, 
 the aching of his leg and foot, and the fear 
 of what might befal him, was not unwil- 
 ling to quit his place of refuge ; but as a 
 greater security in passing through the 
 town, he purchased of Mrs. George Sianger 
 a plaid cloak, which reaching hardly to his 
 knees, made him perhaps the most re- 
 markable figure that had been seen in 
 Pont-y-V — for some time, his straw re- 
 presentative not excepted. 
 
 The only hindrance or insult he met 
 with in passing from his nest to the door 
 of Mr. Thomas, was a squib from an 
 urchin, who was amused with the odd 
 figure, whether of man or woman he
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 209 
 
 could hardly tell : it fixed upon his 
 skirts, and burnt them ; but this Diggle 
 little cared for, he went as fast as he 
 could in a limping pace, and reached the 
 door of his friend. 
 
 It happened, unfortunately for him, 
 that the family were gone to bed, and 
 the maid who heard him tap, fancying 
 that it was some one of the actors in the 
 comedy of the evening, who was reeling 
 home drunk, opened her window, and 
 discharged upon his head the contents of 
 a scent pot, which it was her duty to 
 have emptied long before. Diggle stood 
 in so happy a position, looking up to- 
 wards the window he heard opening, 
 that he received the whole contents in 
 his face ; and as soon as he could utter 
 any sound but spitting and sputtering, 
 he called loudly on his friend Mr. Tho- 
 mas. That good man knew his voice, 
 and hastened to admit him : he held his 
 nose with one hand, and drew in his 
 friend with the other ; and the unlucky
 
 21Q HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 wench who had thus scented him, was 
 obliged to come down and help to wipe 
 and clean him. 
 
 Great w^ere the lamentations uttered 
 by Mr. Thomas over the unfortunate 
 Diggle ; and he perfectly agreed with 
 him in thinking that it would be advise- 
 able for him to leave Pont-y-V — at 
 present, as there was no knowing to what 
 excess the vulgar might be excited by 
 one or two malicious instigators ! He 
 undertook to send at an early hour in the 
 morning for a post-chaise, to take him 
 up at a certain place, as his house might 
 be watched, and he furnished Diggle 
 with an old military cloak that had been 
 his grandfather's, and a cocked hat, in 
 lieu of the garments spoiled by the golden 
 shower. 
 
 In addition to these acts of friendship, 
 the honest Welshman produced such 
 good cheer as he had in the house, and 
 sat down with the Poet to enjoy as much
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 211 
 
 as he possibly could, of his interesting 
 conversation. 
 
 At length, about two o'clock, the 
 friends separated, and Diggle, taking 
 Mr. Thomas by the hand, addressed him 
 as follows : — 
 
 " Accept, I beseech you, the ebulli- 
 tions of my gratitude for your innume- 
 rable kindnesses ! Your friendship of the 
 true kidney ! shewn when adversity had 
 undermined and overwhelmed me ! had 
 rendered me a very iilth, a nuisance ! 
 But rely upon it. Sir, you will not go un- 
 rewarded ! If my poor endeavours shall 
 succeed, you shall be placed on the high- 
 est pinnacle of the Temple of Renown, 
 the ornament, the glory, and at the same 
 time, the envy of mankind !" 
 
 " Aye, aye, friend," replied Mr. Tho- 
 mas, who began to smoke the Poet : 
 " it's all very well, very well, it is. But 
 do be easy, for Tm not so high-minded!'* 
 
 " Another virtue !" exclaimed Diggle, 
 ** the constellation will be too dazzhng.
 
 S12 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Happily for you, the genius of your Poet 
 shall do you justice." 
 
 *< I don't doubt that," said Thomas, 
 " I don't doubt that ; and now let me 
 give you a bit of advice. Stick to poetry, 
 that's harmless ; but never try your 
 hand at a prophecy again. Lord ! Lord ! 
 you've made but bad work of it this 
 time. The next, perhaps, they may saw 
 you in two, or harrow you to death, or 
 crucify you, or flay you, or put you in a 
 furnace, or tor — " 
 
 " By the sacred Johanna !" interrupted 
 Diggle, '* you make my flesh creep on 
 my bones, and my marrow harden within 
 them ! I am at the same time Isaiah ! Jere- 
 miah ! St. Andrew, St. Bartholomew, 
 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego ! and 
 Tantalus, Sysyphus, and Ixion ! 1 have a 
 hundred lives, and each torn from me 
 with tortures too horrid for the heart of 
 man to name, or the tongue of man to 
 conceive! and I wish that this feeling, 
 sensation, or foreboding, may not foretel —
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. S13 
 
 " Good God, and St. David to boot,** 
 cried Thomas, " don't foretel any more, 
 for fear you should have something to 
 tell afterwards, not quite so sweet.'* 
 
 This attempt at wit on the part of his 
 friend, silenced Mr. Diggle, for he was 
 mortified to find his flaming speech had 
 made so little impression j he wished his 
 host good night, and reposed till between 
 six and seven the next morning, when he 
 left the house of Mr. Thomas, and with- 
 out meeting with any accident, entered a 
 post chaise that was ready for him at the 
 end of a back lane on the road to C — . 
 It was beginning to snow rather seriously, 
 and this was a sufficient reason for his 
 muffling himself up in his military cloak, 
 and hurrying into the post chaise ; as he 
 was about to draw up the window, he saw 
 the figure of a man on the road before 
 him, and in a suppressed voice he bid the 
 boy drive him to the Rev. Mr. Budd's, at 
 C — <* Budds ! Budds !" cried the boy,
 
 214 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 and crack went his whip. Diggle feeling 
 himself safe, was soon asleep, and so for 
 the present we will leave him.
 
 ( 215 ) 
 
 CHAP. XXI. 
 
 Mr, Haverill leaves the Cheese-toaster ^ andjournies 
 in the Snow, — The Adveiiture of the Cottage, — 
 His Reception — he receives a new Name, — 06- 
 servations on dead Heroes and Heroines, 
 
 CoNTRART to his usual custom, Mr, Ha- 
 verill slept late the morning following 
 the execution of Diggle, and while he 
 ate his breakfast, he considered within 
 himself what would be the wisest plan to 
 pursue. He was not long in determining 
 to go instantly to H — to his friend Dr. 
 Twentymen, and to run the risk of a re- 
 lapse. 
 
 The recollection of the inquiries he 
 had heard Dr. Stirit make of the quack, 
 filledhim with a most unpleasant suspicion 
 that he was watched, and he determined 
 in his own mind, that it would be better 
 6
 
 216 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 to go any other way than to C — . He 
 thought from the little knowledge he had 
 gained of the course of the country, that 
 there must be a passable road a little to 
 the left of C — , which would take him to 
 a market-town, where he could sleep, 
 and from whence he could go by easy 
 stages to H — ; determining to try whether 
 there was or not, he rung for his land- 
 lady and asked if he could have a chaise. 
 
 "Good Lord! yes your Honor,'' an- 
 swered Mrs. Puffin, " vor sure you can, 
 but I hope your Honor is not going far, 
 vor the snow do come down. Lord bless 
 me 1 as if Plinlimmon was a shaking his 
 head. And besides it be now two o'clock, 
 and the boy won't be ready this half- 
 hour. But vhere vould your Honor 
 chuse to have the chay to ?" 
 
 <i To C— ," said Haverill. ** C— is 
 
 your nearest stage on the road, I 
 
 think?" 
 
 " Yes, your Honor, it bay, for Abnanty 
 is about. -— It is nine and a half to Ab-
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 21? 
 
 nanty, it lay wide to the left. It turn at 
 Peter Finger, and go behind the hill. But 
 Lord, Sir, this snow will shit up the roads 
 soon, I never saw sich a snow so serus so 
 soon. Dr. Stirit did say last night that 
 it would shit up the roads." 
 
 " Doctor who ?'* said Haverill. 
 
 *< Doctor Stirit, your Honor, as was 
 here last night, and went away again to 
 Rhanvellyn,'* said Mrs. Puffin, 
 
 Haverill having settled all his business, 
 that is, paid his bill and loaded his pistols, 
 stepped into the chaise, not at the door of 
 the Cheese-toaster, but at the turning of 
 the street, where he called at a linen- 
 draper's to buy a handkerchief to tie round 
 his neck. He was more than once tempt- 
 ed to return, but he thought that there 
 would be day-light and moonlight, and 
 he determined to take care of the boy at 
 Abnanty, and send him back in the 
 morning. 
 
 When he came to a turning in the road 
 (that the landlady had called Peter's
 
 SI 8 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Finger) he called to the boy, and ordered 
 him to take that road instead of the road 
 to C — . It was with some difficulty that 
 he was prevailed upon, as he said one part 
 of it was so steep he knew the poor horses 
 would never get through. 
 
 Haverill had been used to command, 
 and could less brook contradiction at this 
 moment than almost any other ; he or- 
 dered the boy to proceed in a voice that 
 would not be disobeyed, and they went 
 along at a pace that promised to bring 
 them to their journey's end about mid- 
 night, if at all. The evening came on, 
 and Haverill began to think he had better 
 have gone to C — , than trusted to an un- 
 known road. His driver came to a place 
 where the road branched off in tw^o di- 
 rections, and took the widest path, that 
 which was rather on the ascent than other- 
 ways ; and as the part they were ap- 
 proaching seemed woody, Haverill began 
 to fear that the way would terminate in 
 some private residence j a thing to him
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. ^19 
 
 very unpleasant, as he did not wish to 
 become known to any body in the neigh- 
 bourhood. 
 
 In about five minutes they came to 
 within hearing of a waterfall, and the boy 
 said that he would go no further, as he 
 had mistaken the way, and he knew that 
 was the devil's wheel at work. Haverill 
 now considered that if any house was 
 near, it would be better for him to take 
 shelter in it, than go back to Pont-y-V — , 
 and he asked the boy if he could find his 
 way back again. The boy said the horses 
 would do that without him. 
 
 " Is there a house near ?" said Ha- 
 verill. 
 
 " I believe there may," said the boy, 
 " but I don't know the land here.'* 
 
 While Haverill was hesitating, he heard 
 a dog bark in the direction he had fancied 
 he should find a habitation, and preferring 
 any thing to returning, he gave the boy 
 some money, assisted him to turn his 
 horses round, and strapping his portman^ 
 h 2
 
 220 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 teau on his back, be turned sbort to the 
 left in a sort of opening in the wood, to- 
 wards the spot the sound came from. He 
 began to find that he was descending ra- 
 pidly ; and the snow fell so thick, that he 
 was more than once apprehensive that 
 this would be his last campaign, and the 
 snow his winding sheet. 
 
 During his illness he had often de- 
 clared life was not worth preserving ; but 
 now, when he had nothing to do but to 
 lie down and fall asleep, he seemed of 
 another opinion, and he made efforts far 
 above his strength, to avoid a catastrophe 
 he had wished for a hundred times within 
 the last two months. Such is human 
 nature ! 
 
 After a long walk, at least so it ap- 
 peared to him, he arrived at a high wall, 
 which he conjectured to be the wall of a 
 garden. It was in vain that he sought for 
 a door, or other entrance ; his strength 
 began to fail, and he was nearly e^^haust- 
 ed, when he bethought him of his pistols ;
 
 IIARBENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 2^21 
 
 he fired one, and was glad to hear that it 
 had again rouzed the dog, who barked 
 furiously. Supposing that human as well 
 as canine ears might have heard him, he 
 called as loud as he could for help, and it 
 was not long before two men, with a Ian- 
 thorn, appeared coming round a corner of 
 the wall. They were armed with a pitch- 
 fork and a poker, and were proceeding to 
 interrogate Haverill, who was white over 
 with snow, when the necessity for ex- 
 ertion being over, he fell senseless at their 
 feet. 
 
 " By the Lord, he is dead !" said one 
 to the other ; <« and we had better go 
 back, and leave him, poor devil ! " 
 
 " Yees, Yees," replied the other; "that 
 may be the Welsh way ; but, dang I, 'tis 
 not the English, so we'll drive him in, 
 let him be friend or foe. Come, highen 
 him ! Gee, Gee ! Here Patty, come out, 
 and take the lanthorn, and make haste, 
 and stir your stumps, for the snow do fall 
 at full speed." 
 
 L 3
 
 2Q2 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 The girl, who was approaching, took 
 the lanthorn and the arms, videlicet, the 
 pitchfork and poker ; and the men rais- 
 ed Haverill, and carried him into a cot- 
 tage, where they deposited him on the 
 floor, before a good fire. 
 
 A consultation was then held on the 
 expediency of stripping the poor man ; 
 and it being thought most advisable to 
 do so, the good woman of the house un- 
 strapped his portmanteau, untied his 
 handkerchief and cravat, and, with the 
 assistance of her daughter, took off his 
 coat and his boots, while the husband 
 reached out a bottle of rum ; and, after 
 taking a glass himself, and giving the 
 companion of his labours another, he at- 
 tempted to put a little into the mouth of 
 our hero. This, however, .was found 
 impracticable 5 for his teeth were firmly 
 closed, and the wife declared, as she roll- 
 ed him in a blanket, that she believed no- 
 thing would ever go in there any more, 
 or bring the soul of him back again.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 223 
 
 ** Here, Patty, my dear ; rub his poor 
 legs, my child, and I'll try if he's any life 
 at the heart. I've heard as the hartshum^ 
 I think they call it, will bring back life 
 to the heart, as its name sheweth ; but 
 I've not a drap of it, or I'd rub it on the 
 place the name sheweth it were made 
 for." 
 
 One of the men now said, he dared to 
 say his lady had some, for she carried 
 physic about with her ; but, for his part, 
 he never before knew why that stuff was 
 called hartshorn. " One may live and 
 layrney^ said he ; " and it's comical that 
 I should a come into Wales to layrne why 
 the hartshorn was made." 
 
 He then went out ; and, in about ten 
 minutes, returned, followed by two la- 
 dies, the younger of whom carried a small 
 case of phials with various contents, and 
 the elder, wrapped up in a plaid, leaned 
 on the arm of a woman-servant. She felt 
 his pulse ; and, perceiving that animation 
 was about to return, she directed the wo-. 
 L 4
 
 S24 HARDEN BRASS AND HAVERlLt. 
 
 man to rub some hartshorn upon his 
 heart, while she herself chafed his tem- 
 ples, and the girl continued to rub his 
 feet and legs. 
 
 It was not long before he sighed deeply, 
 and she then put a little brandy in his 
 mouth, which had relaxed from its firm 
 position of defiance 5 and, looking ear- 
 nestly at him, she recognized him. 
 
 " Ah ! my dear Anarella !*' said she, in 
 French ; " see what fate is ! I was struck 
 with the countenance of this poor crea- 
 ture, and already felt an interest for him, 
 when, behold, he is sent to be my in- 
 mate ! Well, we must use him cour- 
 teously ; and, if he be my fate, as at my 
 age there is no saying nay with impunity, 
 I must try to make the best of an indiffe- 
 rent bargain." 
 
 Miss St. Arno (for it was she herself) 
 returned no answer to her aunt's speech : 
 she stood contemplating the face of Mr. 
 Haverill, and watching the return of life ; 
 and he looked so very different to the
 
 IIARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. ^^5 
 
 person who had thrown her from him on 
 the stairs at Pont-y-V — , that she could 
 hardly persuade herself he was the same. 
 His head, now divested of the black wig, 
 appeared of the finest form, and thinly- 
 covered with brown hair, which curled 
 naturally. His throat was beautiful, and 
 his countenance, now softened, had an 
 expression of sweetness, of which Miss 
 St. Arno would not have thought it sus- 
 ceptible. Indeed, his mouth was exceed- 
 ingly beautiful ; and Miss St. Arno, con- 
 templating him with the eye of an artist, 
 exclaimed, <« It is the young Hercules !'* 
 
 *< Who did her Ladyship say the gen- 
 tleman was, ma'am," whispered the wo- 
 man of the house to Mrs. Dunn. 
 
 Mrs. Dunn was one of those people 
 who cant't, for their lives, say they don't 
 know \ and who, without any design to 
 propagate lies, give a great deal of infor- 
 mation that is not true. Thinking that 
 she had now heard in English, the se- 
 cret of what her mistress had said to her 
 L 5
 
 S26 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 niece in French, she was glad of an op- 
 portunity of telling it again, and replied 
 in a whisper, *« He's the young Urkles ! 
 a rich Erefardsher squire." 
 
 Perfectly satisfied with this information, 
 the woman seeing him open his eyes, and 
 thinking the attack on his heart might be 
 suspended, asked Mrs. St. Arno if Mr. 
 Urkles had not better be put to bed? 
 
 ** Mr. wJio,'' said the old Lady. 
 
 " Mr. Urkles, my Lady, 1 think the 
 young Lady did name him," replied Mrs. 
 Taffle. 
 
 " By all means," said Mrs. St. Arno; 
 «* go Dunn and air the bed in the room 
 next mine, and the men shall bring Mr. 
 Urkles, for I hope now he may be mov- 
 ed." Then turning to her niece, she said 
 in French, that as chance, or she had be- 
 stowed a name on her Knight, and one of 
 no small renown, he might as well retain 
 it till he chose to communicate his own ; 
 to which Anarella with a smile assented. 
 
 Mr. Haverill's recollection began now
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. ^^7 
 
 to return, and he looked vacantly round 
 at his companions. His eye dwelt for a 
 moment on Miss St. Arno, as if there was 
 some association respecting her in his 
 mind, but he turned away his head in a 
 way that shewed it was not pleasing, and 
 gave Anarella an opportunity of admiring 
 one of the prettiest ears in the world. 
 He sunk back on the shoulder of Mrs. 
 Taffle who was supporting him, and it 
 was with some difficulty that Mrs. St. 
 Arno administered to him a small glass of 
 brandy. As soon as he could be moved, 
 she had him rolled in a blanket, and made 
 the men carry him across a small garden 
 to the Rose Cottage, where the coach- 
 man and Mrs. Taffle put him to bed ; 
 while Miss St. Arno prepared his supper, 
 as she conjectured that he wanted sup- 
 port, and hoped he might be able 
 in the course of an hour or two to take 
 something nourishing. 
 
 As he is at present in such good hands, 
 and in all human probability likely to re- 
 L 6
 
 228 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 cover, we will take the opportunity of con- 
 eluding our chapter ; assuring our readers 
 that they cannot possibly have been more 
 anxious for his resuscitation than we have 
 been, for what would have become of our 
 second and succeeding volumes if he had 
 died in this critical juncture, we are at 
 a loss to imagine. We do indeed recol- 
 lect, that an ingenious French authoress, 
 whose works are deservedly admired, has 
 a dead woman for her heroine, and piques 
 herself with very great reason on the ori- 
 ginality of the idea, asserting that it was 
 a thought that had not occurred to any 
 other but herself; and probably she was 
 in the right ; at least no other had been 
 bold enough to produce it to the world. 
 It must be confessed, the dead lady makes 
 no small noise, and is as accive and as 
 punctual m her visits, as any living he- 
 jroine could be, and the whole is very as- 
 tonishmg, and out of the common course 
 of things ; out as we should despair of 
 succeeding with a dead, a defunct hero^
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 229 
 
 seeing we have not the imagination of 
 that lovely part of the creation, who, as 
 some one says, carry more sail than bal- 
 last, we shall content ourselves with a 
 living one, and keep him alive as long as 
 we can, both for our own pleasure and 
 satisfaction, and (we hope) that of our 
 readers.
 
 ( 230 ) 
 
 CHAP. XXII. 
 
 fVhat passed in Haverill's Room — and a Conner' 
 sation beltveen the Ladies^ containing Anecdotes of 
 Lovers and others. 
 
 It was between ten and eleven o'clock, 
 before Haverill was able to take any nou- 
 rishment, and when he recovered his re- 
 collection he was surprised to find him- 
 self in a neat room, with a good fire, and 
 an old lady seated in a great chair by his 
 bed side. 
 
 Mrs. St. Arno perceived that he was at 
 a loss to account for his situation, and 
 looking at him with a countenance young 
 with benevolence and animation, though 
 a little wrinkled with age, she addressed 
 him thus : 
 
 " Don't alarm or puzzle yourself. Sir, 
 about your present situation. You were 
 found apparently lifeless at my gate, and
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 231 
 
 and my people have put you to bed. I 
 assure you that you shall have every at- 
 tention your present weakness renders 
 necessary, and I have only to beg, that 
 you will ask for whatever you want, and 
 not fear to give trouble.'' 
 
 Haverill gazed earnestly at her, as if 
 to recollect where he had seen her ; and 
 then said, ** this from a woman too !" 
 
 Mrs. St. Arno took no notice of this 
 wild exclamation ; but ringing the bell, 
 she desired Dunn to tell Miss St. Arno 
 the gentleman would take some broth. 
 Mrs. Dunn asked whether Mr. Urkles 
 would have biscuit or bread, and being 
 told " hothy^^ she left the room. She 
 soon returned with a basin of broth, and 
 another of arrowroot, followed by Ana- 
 rella, with a bottle of Madeira and a wine- 
 glass ; and Mrs. St. Arno assisting Dunn 
 to raise Haverill, and prop him up with 
 a pillow, asked which he would chuse to 
 take. He returned no answer, but fixed 
 his eye with a look of displeasure on Ana- 
 
 2
 
 23^ HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 rella; and that young lady, perceiving 
 that her appearance discomposed him, 
 gave the basin she held to her aunt, and 
 with a little feeling of mortification, re- 
 tired to the fire-side. 
 
 ** I never heard of any thing like it in 
 my life," said she to herself, while her 
 aunt fed the passive Haverill. " I never 
 saw any thing like this man ! What, am 
 I all of a sudden become so hideous, that 
 he cannot look at me without shudder- 
 ing," (at the same time viewing her really 
 pretty face in the glass), " not I indeed ! 
 I never looked better in my life. Hang 
 the man, I shall hate him, and that would 
 be wrong, as my aunt would say, we 
 should hate nobody ! I won't go near 
 him again, I'm determined !*' 
 
 <« Anarella, my love ; bring a glass of 
 Madeira," said Mrs. St. Arno. 
 
 Anarella's humanity would not let her 
 refuse ; so she again approached the bed 
 of Haverill, and at her aunt's request, 
 held the wine to his mouth. He turned
 
 HARDENBHASS AND KAVERILLr. S33 
 
 his head away, and made a motion with 
 his hand, that signified a refusal. 
 
 " Give it to me, my dear," said Mrs. 
 St. Arno ; " I fear you are awkward. 
 Come, Sir, pray swallow this, it will help 
 you to sleep." 
 
 Haverill looked up ; he no longer saw 
 Miss St. Arno, and he drank the wine, 
 and shortly after fell into a shimber. 
 Mrs. St. Arno then ordered Mrs. Dunn 
 to mend the fire and take her place by 
 its side for the night. She bid her give 
 the gentleman some arrowroot, if he 
 awoke ; and she told her to call her if he 
 should be worse. Having given these 
 directions, she and her niece retired, and 
 left Dunn in the great chair, where she 
 soon fell so soundly asleep, that no small 
 noise would have been necessary to rouse 
 her. 
 
 When the two ladies reached their own 
 apartment, they looked at one another, 
 and both exclaimed at once, " what do 
 you think ?"
 
 234 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 ** Nay, what do you think, my dear ?'* 
 said Mrs. St. Arno. 
 
 ** I think I'm grown very hideous !'* 
 said Anarella ; *' if not, why should the 
 man hate to look on me ? I'm sure it's 
 very — " 
 
 " Very what, my dear ? very provok- 
 ing ?" asked the aunt. 
 
 *' No," said Anarella, laughing, " not 
 provoking exactly ; but it is not fair play. 
 When I had changed my opinion of the 
 man's outside, that he should retain his of 
 mine. He certainly must be a little 
 mad." 
 
 ** What, because he does not admire 
 you, my dear?" said Mrs. St. Arno, 
 " you must not expect to meet a Jarre- 
 ner every where." 
 
 " Oh, a disagreable, fulsome creature 1 
 he sickened me of admiration," said 
 Miss St. Arno. 
 
 " Not quite, my dear, I think," re- 
 plied the aunt. 
 
 " Yes, quite, indeed ; quite," said Miss
 
 HARBENBfRASS AND HAVERILL. 535 
 
 St. Arno, " and I wish, with all my 
 heart, that his father had lived these hun- 
 dred years, ahd then the young Jar — " 
 
 ** Meaning him a gander?" asked the 
 aunt. 
 
 " With all my heart," replied Miss St. 
 Arno, " what you will, for he is my de- 
 testation." 
 
 ** I believe not," said the aunt, " and 
 now that we have by accident touched 
 on the subject, I must tell you what I 
 wish." 
 
 There was a seriousness in Mrs. St. 
 Arno's tone, that made the young lady 
 stare and blush, and v/hile she was curl- 
 ing her hair, she listened in silence to 
 her aunt. 
 
 " I wish, my dear, that you would re- 
 vise, and correct," continued Mrs. St. 
 Arno. " 1 wish you would look back to 
 the manner in which you used that young 
 man. At one time, you certainly en- 
 couraged his attentions ; and I was glad 
 to see that you did ; for through all his
 
 S3G HARDENBKASS AND HaVERILL. 
 
 foppish nonsense, I perceived a fund of 
 goodness, and even of good sense, of a 
 particular cast, 'tis true, that I think, 
 by proper management, might produce 
 a harvest of happiness. The man is not 
 a fool j he has good humour, and a good 
 fortune ; he certainly loves you, better 
 perhaps, than you deserve, after the way 
 you have chosen to serve him in, and 
 my dear girl, I wish to see you married." 
 
 " Don't say so, my dear aunt," inter- 
 rupted Miss St. Arno, " don't say so, I 
 shall think I have offended you." 
 
 ** No child, you have not offended me, 
 though I own I wish you had not encou- 
 raged Jarrener as you did." " I beg 
 pardon for interrupting you so often, my 
 dear aunt," said Miss St. Arno, " but as 
 you now make a serious charge against 
 me, allow me to reply to it seriously." 
 
 ** I wish you would," said the aunt. 
 
 ** The first time I saw Mr. Jarrener, or 
 as he detests to be called. Doctor Jarre- 
 ner, you will remember Ma'am was at
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILI.. 23? 
 
 Mrs. Fuzman's, at Weymouth," said the 
 niece. " I never shall forget it as long 
 as I live. At the upper end of the 
 drawing-room stood the sopha table co^^ 
 vered with bits of broken stones, pots, 
 chains, knives, shells, bones, and in 
 the centre a human skull. The Doctor, 
 seated on the music stool that cracked 
 under his weight, held in his hand a mi- 
 serable dried cat, that had been starved 
 to death between a wainscot and a wall ; 
 and that, to tell the truth, was enough to 
 make one sick. The lovely Miss Fuzmans 
 were one on each side of him, listening 
 with open mouths and vacant eyes to a 
 dissertation on starving to death ^ while 
 the widow Fuzman herself had fallen asleep 
 in her chair, and was playing dot and go 
 one to his periods." 
 
 *< Yes, I remember, my dear,'* said the 
 aunt, *< and I recollect too the stare of 
 poor Jarrener, when he saw your laugh- 
 ing eyes, and the look of horror you ex- 
 hibited at the cat."
 
 S38 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 " Ha ! ha ! ha ! he threw puss down 
 upon a paper shell, for which Monimia 
 Fuzman had given two pence that morn- 
 ing," said Anarella, ** and the young 
 lady looked so maliciously angry, that 
 poor Jar was ridiculously distressed.. He 
 said he was penetrated with sensible sor- 
 row at her vituperative glance, but he 
 would send her half a dozen the next 
 morning. The pretty Miss Fuzman, Miss 
 Louanna, I think they call her, said that 
 was right; and the mama waking up, 
 cried, < One are not one*s-self at all 
 times ! Ha ! ha ! ha !" 
 
 ** They were a ridiculous party to be 
 sure," said the aunt, <* but you must own 
 Jar was the best of them." 
 
 " He was," replied Anarella, " he af- 
 forded me more amusement than any of 
 them ; for, as he told me afterwards, the 
 electric fluid from Cupid's battery, finding 
 its way to his heart, induced a sort of 
 vertigo in his head, and rising to pay his 
 compliments, he trod on the toe of Miss
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. S39 
 
 Monimia Fuzman, who gaped wider than 
 usual, and told him, while the tears ran 
 down her face, that it did not matter! 
 Ha! ha! ha!" 
 
 " Well, but my dear Satirica, what has 
 all this to do with your treatment of Jar- 
 rener ?" asked the aunt. " A great deal,'* 
 replied Anarella. " Jarrener was then 
 wavering between Miss Fuzman, who 
 rolls her little pug nose round, and moves 
 her whole skull, at least, the skin and 
 hair that cover it, in a most surprising 
 manner, to say notliing of the twitch- 
 ing of her mouth and blinking of her 
 eyes — " 
 
 "Aye," interrupted the aunt, " there's 
 madness in the family, that is a sure in- 
 dication of it." 
 
 " Well," continued the niece, " he 
 was hesitating between her and her gawky 
 sister Monimia, who sucks her tongue, 
 and twirls her white locks by the hour 
 together ; when 1 made my appearance at 
 W — , and he suddenly quitted the Miss
 
 240 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Fuzmans and their forty thousand a-piece, 
 to torment me with his long words, and 
 his ridiculous passion. 
 
 *< I like something to laugh at ; who 
 does not ? and I was amused with the 
 novelty of his character. Then I saw 
 very plainly that the widow Fuzman 
 hated me, as she does every thing with 
 information or wit, in however small a 
 proportion, and Miss Gawky Fuzman said 
 that I was the cause of the shell being 
 broken ; and the more angry they were 
 at Jar's attention to me, the more amusing 
 it was. Before we had been a week at 
 W — , he told me that he was saturated 
 with my excellencies ; that we were the 
 meteors of the place, that there was 
 chemical affinity between us, and tiiat he 
 was fully persuaded Fate intended us 
 for each other. * To laugh at,' said I. 
 •No, phosphoretic splendor,' said he, — *to 
 love.' I then assumed a different tone, 
 and with as determined and as cool an air 
 as 1 could put on, I assured him, that
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. ^41 
 
 neither in jest nor earnest would I ever be 
 his partner in such a scheme ; and I fair- 
 ly gave him notice, that if he encouraged 
 such an idea, it would be at his own peril. 
 He then went to you ; he talked, I sup- 
 pose, intelligibly to you, and intelligently 
 too, and I was again obliged to say the 
 rude thing. After that, no dog could be 
 worse used than I used him, during our 
 stay at W — ; and you know I always 
 afterwards refused to dance or walk with 
 him. But I could not forbid him your 
 house, and while you continued to re- 
 ceive him, I was compelled to hear his 
 nauseous stuff. And now, my dear 
 aunt, am I so much to blame ? If the 
 man would have let me alone, I should 
 never have sought him, I'm sure : and 1 
 think nothing can be so disgusting, as 
 the stuff men talk in general to us poor 
 women. I'm sure, I'm heartily tired of 
 it ; and hope, if ever I am married, it will 
 be to a dumb man !" 
 
 VOL. I. M
 
 242 HAKDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 <« All this is highly colored, my dear/' 
 said the aunt, " and situated as you are, 
 it would be well for you to have a pro- 
 tector. Your father's new connexions 
 are so very degrading, that you cannot 
 consider him at all efficient in that cha- 
 racter, and I am your last female relative. 
 I wish you would not laugh the men out 
 of the field, but consider seriously of 
 making some of ^ur admirers happy/* 
 
 " I never shall as long as they say 
 sweet things to me," replied Anarella, 
 <« I should sooner like a man who dis- 
 liked me." 
 
 «« Ah ! traitress !" said the old lady, 
 laughing, " don't think of falling in love 
 with my unknown knight, who is the 
 Lord knows who !" 
 
 " I hope I shall never fall in love," 
 said Anarella, warmly, <« I am ashamed 
 of the follies my sex commit under the 
 pretence of being in love. If I meet 
 with a man who has good sense enough
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. ^24-5 
 
 not to flatter me, who will see and for-. 
 give my faults, and treat me like a ra- 
 tional being, not a spoiled baby, or an 
 insignificant flirt ; if such a man will ask 
 me to plague him for forty or fifty years, 
 I believe I may consent, and I dare say 
 should make a very good wife as the 
 world goes ; but if not, 1*11 e'en live sin- 
 gle, and like Swift, have it said of me 
 when I am dead, that 1 
 
 gave all I had 
 
 To build a house for fools and mad ; 
 To shew by one satiric touch, 
 No nation wanted it so much." 
 
 " I should not scold you, I think, as I 
 have brought you up," said the aunt, 
 ** you are a dear, saucy girl, and I have 
 done with Jartener for ever. But I 
 wonder who this guest of ours is, Ana- 
 rella. I see he is a gentleman in his 
 appearance and manners, but I long to 
 know who it is we harbour." 
 
 " He's a disagreeable man, though
 
 244 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 handsome and genteel," replied Anarella. 
 " I think he is a little mad." 
 
 " Or very wretched," said the aunt : 
 " but good night, love ; we shall see how 
 he is in the morning."
 
 ( 245 ) 
 
 CHAP. XXIII. 
 
 Of the curious Adventures that happened in Mr, 
 HaverilPs Roonty and Mrs, St, Arno's extraor- 
 dinary Conduct, 
 
 It was not much before six o^clock the 
 next morning, when the ladies were 
 awakened by a loud laugh from the ad- 
 joining apartment. Mrs. St. Arno be- 
 gan to fear that her niece was right, and 
 that the unknown gentleman was a ma- 
 niac. Under this impression, she thought 
 it no breach of honor to listen to his soli- 
 loquy, and in spite of tlie dissuasions 
 of Anarella, she got out of bed, put on 
 a flannel dressing-gown, and taking a 
 lamp that she had in her room, in her 
 hand, she entered the apartment. 
 
 All there was as still as she could 
 wish, for the watcher and the watched 
 were equally buried in profound sleep y 
 M 3
 
 J246 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL, 
 
 the fire was out, and tlie rushlight at its 
 last gasp. The good lady began to fan- 
 cy that she and her niece must have 
 been mistaken, when Haverill again 
 laughed, but it seemed to be in bitter- 
 ness, and he cried, ** cruel and inconsi- 
 derate J you knew it !" This was follow- 
 ed by a deep groan, that penetrated the 
 heart of Mrs. St. Arno, who was of a 
 very compassionate disposition. Ha- 
 verill spoke again, as if muttering be- 
 tween his teeth. 
 
 *« Yes, woman, blasted for ever V* 
 Then, after a pause, he added ; *' make 
 haste, I live but for that!" He then 
 turned round on his bed, and Mrs. St. 
 Arno, fearful of waking him, retreated. 
 
 " He is not mad," said she, " but 
 nearly so, Anarella, and probably has 
 suffered some sudden reverse of fortune, 
 or some disappointment in love, which 
 now that his frame is weakened, preys 
 upon his mind, and agitates him in his 
 sleep. I dare say, love is the cause of
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. S47 
 
 this, and probably you may resemble the 
 lady whose heart he has lost ; that will 
 account for his disliking to look at you. 
 
 *« Indeed I can*t tell, aunt." said Ana- 
 rella, ** but I wish he would not distui;)^ 
 us in this way. You'll get your death of 
 cold! how severe the weather is.'* 
 
 They composed themselves to sleep 
 again, and would probably have en- 
 joyed some comfortable repose, if the 
 screams of Mrs. Dunn had not alarmed 
 them. Both ladies got up, and in. their 
 dressing gowns hastened to the apart- 
 ment. They found Mrs. Dunn lying 
 senseless on her back across Mr. Haverill, 
 who held her by the throat, and still 
 asleep, said in a low voice, " Thy groans 
 excite no pity ! how should they ?** 
 
 Mrs. St. Arno gave the lamp to*Ana- 
 rella, and in endeavouring to release her 
 maid, she awoke her guest, who looked 
 pale and haggard, and as if he had just 
 suffered some extraordinary agitation, 
 M 4
 
 248 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Large drops of sweat stood on his fore- 
 head, and he trembled exceedingly. 
 
 Anarella lifted Dunn, who was a little 
 woman, off the bed, and conveyed her in- 
 to her own room, where Mrs. St. Arno, 
 after givdng Haverill a little sal volatile, 
 followed her. She soon came to herself i 
 and protested that she knew not how she 
 came there. When told that she had been 
 taken from the stranger's bed, she said 
 he must be the devil then, for she had 
 sat watching him all night, and never 
 stirred out of the great chair, and when 
 her mistress told her that she had seen her 
 asleep, she took God to witness that she 
 had never closed her eyes till she fainted. 
 
 " I fancy it would be more difficult to 
 cure Dunn than her patient,*' said Mrs. 
 St. Arno, and having made the poor crea- 
 ture swallow a glass of wine, she ordered 
 her to light a candle, and Anarella at- 
 tended her to her own room, to see her 
 safely in bed. 
 
 But in the morning a more serious
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERIJLL. S49 
 
 cause of alarm than any that had yet oc- 
 curred, gave the ladies great concern. 
 The snow which had continued to fall 
 during the night, had drifted consider- 
 ably, and the communication between 
 Rose Cottage and Pont-y-V — was quite 
 cut off. The farmer was obliged to clear 
 a way across the garden, before he could 
 bring the milk for breakfast 5 and he con- 
 soled the family by telling them, that 
 the like happened three years before, 
 when the family were kept prisoners three 
 weeks, and at last a sudden thaw brought 
 a flood, and the water stood in the par- 
 lor three feet deep. 
 
 " It is a bad prospect, my dear," said 
 Mrs. St. Arno, '* but I am most grieved 
 for this poor young man, who will cer- 
 tainly want medical aid.'' 
 
 " If Jarrener was his man," said Ana- 
 rella, <' I should say it was all in his favor, 
 but at present it is certainly very distres- 
 sing. Bless me ! I wish we were out of 
 this punch bowl ! see how it snows again. 
 M 5
 
 ^50 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Why we shall be overwhelmed, and forced 
 to dig our way out." 
 
 •* It looks very serious," said the aunt, 
 " and we must, like people in a besieged 
 town, husband our stores. It is lucky 
 that the butcher supplied us yesterday, 
 and that we laid in our other things for 
 the whole time we proposed staying. 
 The wind is in the same quarter, 1 see, 
 and if the snow drifts more, the road may 
 be impassable for weeks." 
 
 " What a horrid idea !" said Anarella. 
 " Well we must submit, I suppose, and for 
 amusement we will make our unknown 
 tell us his history." Anarella then went 
 to make breakfast, and her aunt to visit 
 her guest. 
 
 When Mrs. St. Arno paid her morning 
 tisit to our hero, she found him perfectly 
 collected, but very low and exhausted. 
 He thanked her politely for her attention 
 to him 5 and said he believed the fatigue 
 he had suffered had produced an attack 
 of fever that had affected his brain.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVEKILL. 251 
 
 " Don't however fancy, Madam, that 
 1 am dangerous," said he, with a melan- 
 choly smile ; *^ I have been very ill late- 
 ly ; a brain fever, I believe, was my com^ 
 plaint ; and I am not yet, you see, out of 
 danger of a relapse. I hope to-morrow 
 to be able to remove," continued he ; 
 <* and exceedingly regret the trouble I 
 have, and, I fear, must occasion you." 
 
 Mrs. St. Arno then told him the state 
 of the weather, and the probability that 
 he must be a prisoner some days. ** My 
 niece and myself. Sir, will be happy to 
 contribute to your recovery," continued 
 she ; ** and we do not doubt that you will 
 render our intercourse more agreeable 
 by favouring us with your name." 
 
 Haverill changed color several times ; 
 and, after a pause, said : *' I am aware, 
 fully aware. Madam, of the propriety of 
 your demand. You have a right to knov/ 
 to whom you extend y6ur hospitality ; 
 and these are not times to entertain stran- 
 gers without some security for their re- 
 M 6
 
 25^ HARDENBRASS AND HAVERlLjL. 
 
 spectability. I could tell you my name 
 was Smith, or Brown ; and you, relying 
 on my honor, would credit me : but I 
 will not deceive you. I have reasons for 
 concealing my real name ; reasons pro- 
 duced, 1 am proud to say, by the villainy 
 of others, and my own credulity, not by 
 my own errors. I am an unhappy man, with 
 blighted fortunes and withered hopes ; 
 but I am not without respectable con- 
 nexions. Do you know Dr. Twenty men 
 
 ofH ?" 
 
 " Not personally," replied the Lady ; 
 *< but I have frequently heard him highly 
 spoken of 
 
 " He knows my whole unhappy story. 
 Madam," continued Haverill ; *< and I 
 was on my way to him, when, by the 
 post-boy having taken the wrong road, 
 I was driven to seek shelter here.'' 
 
 "Well, Sir," replied Mrs. St. Arno, 
 after a short silence j ** I am aware that 
 there may be many situations in which 
 concealment becomes necessary. There
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 253 
 
 are two very good reasons why you should 
 not confide in me, — I am a stranger, and 
 a woman ; and, taking this into conside- 
 ration, and estimating rightly, I think, 
 your candid manner of telling me you 
 cannot be candid, I leave you at liberty 
 to say by what name you would wish to 
 be called/' 
 
 ** Call me what you please. Ma'am ; 
 any thing to satisfy your household," said 
 Haverill ; '« I am quite indifferent about 
 it." 
 
 " My woman has taken it into her 
 head, that your name is Hercules," said 
 Mrs. St. Arno smiling j «* and, therefore, 
 if you please, you may be so called." 
 
 <* Hercules !" echoed Haverill. 
 
 ** You have no objection ?" asked the 
 Lady. 
 
 ** No, none, Ma'am, Hercules be it !" 
 said Haverill. 
 
 Mrs. St. Arno then said <* that her niece, 
 Miss St. Arno, would send up his break- 
 fast J and that, if any thing her medicine
 
 S54 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 chest contained would be of use to him, 
 slie begged him to mention it.'* 
 
 The unfortunate Dunn, now recovered 
 from her fright, was ordered to carry up 
 Mr. Hercules's breakfast ; but she posi- 
 tively refused, saying that she had been 
 twice in a room with men since she came 
 into Vales ; and she knew it was a trick 
 of the devil, so she should 'ware the third 
 time. The coachman was then employed ; 
 and he waited on Mr. Hercules with 
 great good will, as he took him for a gen- 
 tleman, and expected to have a reward 
 for having picked him out of the snow. 
 He took care, while he waited in the 
 room, to acquaint Mr. Hercules that it 
 was he who had saved his life 5 and he 
 related a conversation between the far- 
 mer and himself, that, if it had really 
 taken place, would have given the man 
 in the snow time to shiver his last. 
 
 To all this Mr. Hercules was less at- 
 tentive than perhaps he ought to have 
 been, and as he placed his cup on the
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. '255 
 
 tray, he asked if the lady's name was St, 
 Arno. 
 
 *« Yes, sure," Starno, sure, Starrio," 
 replied Broadhead. " A dear good lady 
 she is ; I do know but of von fault she 
 have 5 she don't stay in a place. But 
 that's to please Miss." 
 
 Haverill then said he thought he should 
 sleep, and begged he might not be dis- 
 turbed till he rang; and Broadhead having 
 closed the shutters, left him to his repose. 
 
 As repose is not less necessary to our- 
 selves than to our hero, we will now relax 
 from our labours ; and trusting to the in- 
 spiration of a new day, deposit our pen 
 on the inkstand, and retire for the night.
 
 ( 256 ) 
 
 CHAP. XXIV. 
 
 Which cofitahis various Particulars that may he seen 
 on Inspection, 
 
 There is perhaps nothing that contributes 
 more to the comfort of an invalid of our 
 sex, than feeling that we are under the 
 care and guardianship of a good and ami- 
 able female nurse ; and though Mr. Have- 
 rill had conceived a disgust> amounting 
 almost to a thorough dislikeof women, ex- 
 cepting in the office of a domestic drudge ; 
 he could not avoid feehng the influence of 
 such a character as that of Mrs. St. Arno. 
 *' She is a superior minded being,'* said 
 he to himself, *« I'm sure she is. Instead 
 of testifying the impatient, ravenous curi- 
 osity to know my concerns, that almost all 
 other women would 5 she generously be- 
 lieved me an honest man on my bare word, 
 and with a manlv frankness told me so.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. ^5^ 
 
 But she is one of another race; not hke the 
 flippant — would that were all! I should not 
 then be the thing I am. My arrival here, 
 at a time when I could not, on account 
 of the weather, have reached H — , is 
 providential ; and if my fever does not re- 
 turn to-night, I will try to overcome my 
 repugnance to see the niece, or any thing 
 that resembles that woman in her bloom. 
 Common civility and common gratitude 
 require this painful effort, and it shall be 
 made. It will do me good too, for I have 
 given way to the weakness consequent on 
 my sufferings; the mind wants bracing 
 as well as the body, and here nothing but 
 the sight of that beautiful — syren shall I 
 call her ? Yes, they are all syrens — the 
 old story, nothing else can possibly re- 
 mind me, what a wretch 1 am." 
 
 With this new turn of thought, and 
 train of ideas, Mr. Haverill fell asleep, and 
 it was not till near evening that he awoke. 
 He felt better, but thought it would not
 
 258 HARBENBRASS AND HAVERILL, 
 
 be prudent to quit his room, as he had 
 perspired a good deal, and the day was 
 exceedingly cold. He rang his bell, and 
 requested that he might have a fire light- 
 ed, as he wished to get up while his bed 
 was made. This request was instantly 
 complied with; and when Patty had made 
 a good fire, Broadhead brought a large 
 blanket, ready aired, to wrap round him 
 as he sat in the great chair. He likewise 
 performed the officeof his valet, and hav- 
 ing made him completely comfortable, at 
 least as far as depended on his exertions, he 
 delivered Mrs. Starno's compliments to 
 Mr. Arkles, and begged to know whether 
 he would take his chicken now or after he 
 was in bed. 
 
 Mrs. St. Arno's humane care to provide 
 for him such food as she thought best 
 suited to his situation, though what he 
 might naturally expect, was pleasing to 
 Haverill, and he returned a polite mes- 
 sage, expressing his regret at not being
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. '250 
 
 able to wait on the ladies, but hoping that 
 in the morning he should feel well enough 
 to venture down. 
 
 While he was eating his dinner, Patty, 
 who waited on him, gave him a dismal 
 account of the depth of the snow, which 
 had again begun to fall ; and assured him 
 that it would be three weeks or a month 
 before any carriage could pass to Pont-y- 
 V— . 
 
 This was not at all agreeable intelli- 
 gence to Haverill, whose ideas all tended 
 to one point, and who found his designs 
 suddenly checked by this detention ; but 
 he recollected the state of his health, and 
 again congratulated himself on having 
 fallen into the hands of a woman of some 
 mind and cultivation, rather than into 
 those of mere peasants ; and this train of 
 thought, the only pleasing one he had 
 entertained during the last six weeks or 
 thereabout, (for we do not speak to a 
 day,) was very salutary to him. 
 He was no sooner comfortably deposit-
 
 5260 HvVRDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 ed in his bed, than Mrs. St. Arno sent 
 her compliments, and begged to know 
 whether a visit from her would be agree- 
 able or not, and she appeared immediate- 
 ly after receiving his answer. 
 
 " 1 fear, Sir," said she, " you will 
 think me a troublesome old woman, thus 
 to intrude upon you ; but my domestics, 
 though very well-meaning creatures, are 
 not very intelligent ; and I am anxious to 
 know that you have every thing that this 
 poor cottage can afford you." 
 
 *' I have every thing. Madam, that I 
 can possibly wish or desire," said Have- 
 rill, " except the power to thank you as 
 I ought." 
 
 "Odear! Sir, that does not signify," 
 replied the good Lady ; " I am a sort of 
 a witch, and know by the eye what peo- 
 ple think." 
 
 ** Then I am contented!" said Have- 
 rill, *' for my eye will, I hope, be more 
 eloquent than my tongue could possibly 
 be."
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 261 
 
 *< I think you judged wisely not to 
 come down, Sir/' said the Lady ; ** it is 
 very cold, and our walls not very thick ; 
 and I am sorry to say that the snow seems 
 determined to make us all prisoners here 
 for some time." ** I fear," continued she 
 gravely, ^* that you will find our society 
 irksome ; for I perceive you prefer that 
 of your own sex; but, aa I like expli- 
 citness, I must tell you that my niece 
 and I have been arranging our affairs so 
 as not to annoy you." 
 
 Haverill looked earnestly at her, but 
 gave no answer. 
 
 " Our house is but small, as you may 
 perceive, Sir," continued Mrs. St. Arno ; 
 ** but we have two sitting rooms ; and to- 
 morrow you will take possession of one, 
 where we shall not intrude upon you ; 
 and I hope you will consider yourself quite 
 at liberty (indeed you will do us a plea- 
 sure) to join us in ours whenever you 
 feel yourself equal to encountering two 
 females."
 
 262 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Haverill, conscious of the strangeness 
 of his behaviour to the niece, felt as if 
 there was an implied reproach in this ar- 
 rangement ; and, as if fearful that the 
 aunt should perceive the displeasure this 
 raised in him, (for he did not like the 
 scheme, though he would, ^ve minutes 
 before, have said he should like it,) he 
 put his hand over his eyes, and remained 
 siilent. 
 
 " My coachman,'* continued the Lady, 
 not appearing to observe him, ** is a will- 
 in s fellow ; he will now have little business 
 out of doors, as you may divine by the 
 state of the roads ; a^d if you will in- 
 struct him, I dare say he may become no 
 despicable valet ; and your linen, the far- 
 mer's wife who made your bed, v/ill wash 
 for you. These are all the little arrange- 
 ments 1 can think of at present, byway of 
 setting you at your ease, and making you 
 feel at home : any thing you may wish 
 yourself, you will order,"
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. ^63 
 
 So saying, Mrs. St. Arno arose, and 
 would have quitted him, adding, that she 
 feared she had talked too much for him ; 
 but he begged she would stay, and she 
 complied. She sat down again j and, in- 
 stead of waiting for a reply, which he 
 seemed about to utter, she began some 
 observations on the nature of the coun- 
 try, and lamented that the very early ap- 
 proach of winter would defeat the pur- 
 pose for which she had hired the cot- 
 tage. 
 
 " My niece,*' said she, " is no despica- 
 ble artist, and her port folio is enriched 
 with views from nature, of many places 
 out of England. She was desirous to see 
 Rhanvellyn, and our journey was unfor- 
 tunately delayed much longer than we 
 intended." 
 
 Still Haverill said nothing, and Mrs. 
 St. Arno, who had that politeness that 
 springs from the right fountain, as well 
 as that arising from commerce with the
 
 ^64 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 world, continued her conversation, or 
 rather her soliloquy. 
 
 " This place looked very pretty the 
 day we came to look at it, I assure you. 
 Sir," said she ; *' by the bye, I recollect 
 Sir, we met you, and you had the polite- 
 ness to recognize me, which after the odd 
 scene of the night before was more than I 
 could expect. We completely contrived 
 to disturb your repose, I believe. — " 
 
 «* And I fear Ma'am," said Haverill, 
 *< that I returned the compliment last 
 night. I hope to-morrow to be able to 
 request admission to your drawing-room, 
 and if you will allow me to chuse in a 
 house where I have no right to chuse, I 
 will beg you not to banish me." 
 
 Mrs. St. Arno looked a little surprised, 
 but she knew human nature too well, not 
 to give its due share of the compliment 
 to the love of freedom of choice, of 
 which the Lords of the Creation, she used 
 to say, were very jealous in even indiffe- 
 4
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 265 
 
 rent matters, but upon the whole, she 
 was pleased with her guest, and she re- 
 tired leaving an impression no less agree- 
 able on his mind. 
 
 VOL. I. NT
 
 ( 266 ) 
 
 CHAP. XXV. 
 
 Nevo Idcasj and the Effects of a deep Siiotv — xvitk 
 various Matters and Observations on Orthography » 
 
 " Miserable as the weather is,'* said 
 Haverill, when he awoke the next day, 
 *« there is something in the air of this place 
 that agrees with me. I have slept better 
 last night, than — no matter than when — 
 I won't think of that now." Hearing 
 the family stirring, he rang for his valet, 
 and learnt from him, that the ladies were 
 at breakfast ; so to avoid giving unneces- 
 sary trouble, he took his own in bed, and 
 then hastened to dress himself. Having 
 determined to forget the thing he was, as 
 much as possible, and to make some re- 
 turn for the kindnesses his hostess seemed 
 inclined to shew him, he schooled him- 
 self to pay his compKments to the young
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. ^67 
 
 lady with composure, and conducted by 
 Broadhead, he entered the drawing- 
 room. 
 
 Mrs. St. Arno rose to receive him, and 
 addressed him with perfect ease, and an 
 appearance of compassion ; but Anarella, 
 who was sewing, took no notice of him j 
 she did not even raise her, eyes. 
 
 " This industrious young lady. Sir, is 
 my niece. Miss St. Arno,'' said the aunt. 
 
 Haverill bowed as he took a chair, 
 and Anarella made a slight inclination 
 of her head, without speaking. 
 
 " Well, Sir, I am happy to see you able 
 to come down," said the aunt, " though 
 really the prospect from the window is so 
 very desolate, that 1 don't know whether 
 orie's bed room is not the most comfort- 
 able place.'* 
 
 Haverill bowed in token of assent, but 
 he did not speak, and the good lady went 
 on. 
 
 " It is fortunate that the poor people 
 in the cottage had laid in a good stock 
 
 N 2
 
 ^68 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 of coals y we shall not want fire to dress 
 our food, even if we should be shut up 
 two months." 
 
 " Two months !'* said Anarella, " God 
 forbid ! the very idea freezes me," and 
 she looked by chance towards our 
 hero. 
 
 " It might, if we had no fuel," replied 
 the aunt, *'or if you were alone ; but let 
 me tell you, my dear, that good fires, and 
 good company, with something to eat, 
 will set frost at defiance." 
 
 " Ah," said Anarella, <* true. I did 
 not at that moment think of either one 
 or the other." 
 
 Mr. Haverill, though a man of the 
 world, felt his situation a little embar- 
 rassing. The sight of Miss St. Arno, 
 spite of all his efforts, raised the fiend 
 in his bosom, and the recollection of his 
 own behaviour to [her filled him with 
 concern. He knew she must take him 
 for a madman, and this consciousness 
 produced a singularity of countenance
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 269 
 
 that was well calculated to confirm her 
 suspicions. He was unable to converse. 
 The last time he had been in the society 
 of a young and lovely female, was on a 
 very interestfng occasion ; the last time 
 he had spoken to one, as his companion, 
 was on a very distressing one. He be- 
 gan to feel an indication of spasms in his 
 chest, and he gasped in a way that too 
 clearly shewed he was ill. 
 
 Miss St. Arno looked frightened, and 
 collecting her work, she thrust it hastily 
 into her basket, and was quitting the 
 room, when he caught her hand, ex- 
 claiming, ** pardon me, Madam, but I 
 cannot consent to frighten you away. 
 You have too much reason, I own. Un- 
 happy associations overcame my forti- 
 tude ; but that is now over, and if you 
 will condescend to remain, believe me 
 you have nothing to fear. If not, and 
 you are still uneasy, 1 will retire, deeply 
 regr-etting the unfortunate manner of my 
 N 3
 
 S70 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 first introduction to you, and its morti- 
 fying consequences to myself." 
 
 Anarella, at a loss for a reply, and 
 feeling the terror that had actuated her, 
 replaced by pity, put her basket on the 
 table again, and sat down. She took 
 out her work, and turned it various ways, 
 while Haveriil, who had now ventured 
 to look at, to speak to, nay, even to 
 touch her, found his unpleasant sensa- 
 tions abate of their poignancy, and his 
 spasmodic symptoms almost disappear. 
 
 " You look better. Sir," said the old 
 lady, eyeing him through her spectacles 
 which she had put on to read the label 
 on a bottle that she took from her medi- 
 cine chest ; " I was going to offer you a 
 few of these drops ; they are very good 
 in sudden affections of the heart or sto- 
 mach." While Haveriil accepted the 
 good lady's remedy, by way of diverting 
 his own and her attention from what had 
 just passed, Anarella looked up archly
 
 HARDENBRASS AND IIAVERILL. ^71 
 
 at the words, affections of the hearty and 
 said it was a pity Jar was not there. 
 
 *< Why, my dear?" asked her aunt. 
 
 This was one of those unfortunate 
 straight-forward questions, which Mrs. 
 St. Arno not unfrequently disappointed 
 her niece's raillery with ; not that she 
 intended to disappoint her or any body 
 else ; but she said what first suggested 
 itself. On this occasion, Anarella did 
 not expect to be asked why, because she 
 naturally thought her aunt would smile 
 at her allusion, and as to Haverill, she 
 did not think much about him. But 
 this unfortunate, " why, my dear?'* drew 
 his attention to the fair speaker, who in 
 reply to it, only blushed deeply with an 
 air of vexation, and re-echoed the word 
 ** whyr' 
 
 We are all, perhaps, apt to build an 
 hypothesis on very slender foundations, 
 especially in love affairs ; and Haverill 
 fancied that much more w^as meant than 
 met the ear, and much more, perhaps, 
 N 4
 
 $7^ HARDENBRASS AND HAVERiLL. 
 
 than the premises warranted. His curi- 
 osity was awakened, and while he sat an 
 apparently attentive listener to a paper 
 that Mrs. St* Arno read from the Mir- 
 ror, he was wondering in his own mind 
 what sort of a man this Jar could be, 
 who was courageous enough to venture 
 on a wife, who to him appeared flippant 
 and unfeeling, and had only a certain 
 piquant sort of sauciness, and a pretty 
 face to recommend her. 
 
 " But," thought he, ** it is the case with 
 them all ; they have art enough to conceal 
 their faults from the person most interest- 
 ed to know them. If this creature had 
 any feeling but for herself, she would have 
 been affected with my emotion, and would 
 have spared a jest, however near the sub- 
 ject that most interests her. But it is well ! 
 for the appearance of sympathy might en- 
 courage those feelings, but now with dif- 
 ficulty repressed, and I should have avoid- 
 ed one too like my bane ! Now, I can see 
 her with perfect tranquillity 5 and from
 
 HAllDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. ^75 
 
 thismoment she ceases to interest or move 
 me^ * Yes ! true woman/ thought he, 
 fixing his expressive eyes, with no very 
 gentle look, upon hers. * Yes, you have, 
 I see, all the virtues of your sex. Cunning, 
 instead of sense j pertness, instead of wit; 
 afiectation, instead of sympathy ; sensu- 
 ality, instead of sentiment ; and pride, in- 
 stead of principle. From my soul, I detest 
 you all." 
 
 Miss St. Arno having finished the work 
 she held in her hand, had rested her elbow 
 on the table, and was listening with inte- 
 rest to her aunt's reading, when she per- 
 ceived the eyes of Mr. Haverill looking at 
 her with an expression of ferocity and 
 dislike, that, added to what had formerly 
 passed, gave her a sort of tremor, and she 
 lefl the room hastily. 
 
 Her aunt looked up, as if inclined to 
 ask "why again, but she said nothing, and 
 perceiving that her remaining auditor was 
 quite lost in his own reflections, she shut 
 the book, and replaced it on the shelf. A 
 N 5
 
 274^ HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 long silence ensued, which Mrs. St. Arno 
 was careful not to interrupt, and which 
 Haverill did not once observe. At last 
 Mrs. St. Arno quitted the room, and left 
 her guest at full liberty to utter his 
 thoughts aloud, if he thought proper. 
 
 She found Anarella under the hands of 
 Mrs. Dunn, who was assisting her to dress 
 for dinner, and telling her the different 
 opinion of each individual in the family, of 
 the new gentleman. " For my own part," 
 said Mrs. Dunn, " I would not go near 
 him on no account, he look so woracious, 
 and as if he'd eat one, and I shid hexpect 
 to be dewourd. He may be a gintleman, 
 and I sippose a be ; for vhy, the woman 
 say his shirt is fine and new, and marked 
 with a fine flourish, a cyphon, I think Miss 
 you call it. But I shid a thought Miss a 
 Y or a U would a stood for Urkles, but 
 this do look more like a C or a double 1 5 
 its very in stink, as your ciphon often be." 
 
 ♦« I suppose its an H," said Anarella, 
 « H stands for Hercules."
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. ^7^ 
 
 «* Dear Miss, I shid never a thought it,'* 
 cried Dunn ; " a Haitch for Urkles ! La, 
 vhat I'd give to be book lairned, and 
 know at the first conception vhat letters 
 do stand for all the things upon airth. 
 Poor dear Lady Blunt as I livied with at 
 Ereford, used to himploy me to read 
 vhen she was herself, and had not a lifted 
 her helbow too often. But I made but 
 hindifferent work of it, Miss, for I vas 
 forced to deciphon the syllabubs, and my 
 lady used to swear at me, and that made 
 me more difficult by half) and so sometimes 
 I vas forced to hold my tongue/' 
 
 Did that ever happen Dunn," asked 
 Mrs. St. Arno. 
 
 " Ma'am!" cried Dunn, not under- 
 standing. 
 
 <* Do you ever hold your tongue ? Are 
 you ever silent ?" said the mistress. 
 
 <* Me, my lady !" cried Dunn, ''There's 
 
 nobody talks less than I do, Ma'am, I 
 
 never speaks but jist to gi\e a proper 
 
 hanser vhen a lady hasks me a question* 
 
 N 6
 
 S7G HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 I never vas tasked for tittle-tattle, nor 
 vor chitteration, nor for wallability, my 
 lady, and vhen I'm haxed a plain question 
 I gives a plain hanser ; jist yes and no ; 
 I halways says, my lady, says I — '* 
 
 She was here stopped by a violent burst 
 of laughter, which neither of her ladies, 
 as she called them, could refrain from ; 
 and which very much enraged her j and 
 her misery was completed by the com- 
 mencement of a conversation in French, 
 in which she could take no part. Poor 
 Dunn, for the nine hundred and ninety- 
 ninth time, cursed the French in her 
 heart ; and, though she did not dare to 
 let the sound of her voice interrupt the 
 ladies, she gratified herself by moving 
 her lips, as if she was speaking, as indeed 
 she always did, when not actually enga- 
 ged in utteration. 
 
 « 1 do really think that man is mad," 
 said Anarella 5 " it is not what he says ; 
 that I could fancy to be uttered by a man 
 who was only strongly moved by some
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 277 
 
 remembrance ; but his look ! — my dear 
 aunt, his look is terrific. I assure you he 
 was looking at me in the most horrible 
 way when I left the room, — quite fierce- 
 ly J and I must beg, that while you have 
 him here, you will never leave me alone 
 with him." 
 
 " 1 did not at all observe what you say 
 frightened you, love," replied Mrs. St. 
 Arno ; ** but I will not leave you alone 
 with him, if I can help it. He pleases 
 me very much. There is a great deal of 
 sentiment and pathos in his countenance, 
 and his manners are perfectly easy and 
 genteel." 
 
 " Yes, so they are, genteel enough ! " 
 said Anarella ; ** I wish he would not be 
 so savage j and, if he will, I wish the snow 
 would vanish, for really he is quite a 
 horror." 
 
 " Nonsense, child," replied the aunt, 
 " he is what the common people call a 
 Godsend j and I do not doubt that we
 
 ^78 HARBENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 shall turn him to good account. He will 
 prove a pleasing companion, I foretel, 
 Anarella ; and, as we may calculate on 
 his remaining here a week or ten days, 
 the sooner we give him the tone of the 
 house, the better." 
 
 " I wonder who he is ?" said Anarella. 
 
 " And I too, my dear," replied the 
 aunt ; *' but, as wondering will not satis- 
 fy us, the best way will be to treat him 
 with kindness and humanity, and make 
 allowances for his abstraction. I must 
 beg, my sweet girl, that you will try nei- 
 ther to start nor laugh ; ibr the unhappy 
 are very sore, and very jealgus. If he 
 chooses to sit with us, we must, as his 
 hosts, endeavour to amuse him, and I 
 trust that you will perform your part. I 
 know that your youthful gaiety is not so 
 well suited to his present disposition as 
 my sober quietness , but you will, out 
 of humanity, restrain it j I know you 
 will,"
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. TJ9 
 
 Thus schooled, Anarella went down to 
 dinner, and left Mrs. Dunn at liberty to 
 talk aloud while she arranged the room, 
 and prepared it for the evening.
 
 ( 280 ) 
 
 CHAP. XXVI. 
 
 Haverill schools himself, — An Amendment. — Assi" 
 milation and Alarms* 
 
 During the absence of the ladies, Mr. 
 Haverill had lectured himself on the im- 
 propriety of giving way to internal reflec- 
 tions on them or their sex, which must, 
 he conjectured, give him an unamiable 
 air ; and he determined to lay some re- 
 straint on himself, and refrain from in- 
 dulging ideas that could produce nothing 
 but mortification to all parties. He pre- 
 pared then to receive them with compo- 
 sure, and even consulted the glass to see 
 how he looked, and whether all traces of 
 ill humour were worn off his counte- 
 nance. When he had arranged his cra- 
 vat, and made the very best he could of 
 himself, he was still dissatisfied with his
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 281 
 
 appearance, and still continued to won- 
 der at the change in his person. He 
 blamed grief, fever, anxiety, fatigue, and 
 at last the black wig. He wondered 
 whether he should take cold if he were 
 to take it off 5 whether his hair was suffi- 
 ciently grown, and his hearing sufficient- 
 ly re-established to render such a step 
 safe. Then looking at the snow, he de- 
 termined that he had better keep it on. 
 " If I had any personal vanity left," said 
 he, *« I should certainly banish it ; but 
 I thank God I am cured of that weak- 
 ness ; indeed it has brought its cure and 
 its punishment with it. I am now as in- 
 different with regard to what women of 
 any age think of my looks, as I used to 
 be solicitous to attract the attention of 
 all ages. I have done with the sex, and 
 for ever!" 
 
 So til inking, for he did not utter it 
 aloud, courteous reader, he again drew up 
 his cravat, and his waistcoat collar, and 
 was almost tempted to throw off the wig^
 
 282 HARBENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 when Broadhead brought in the soup, 
 and he walked towards the iire. 
 
 Dinner was on the table full five mi- 
 nutes before the ladies came, and Have- 
 rill leaning on .the back of the chair at 
 the bottom of the table, waited some- 
 what impatiently for them. Broadhead, 
 who was much more impatient, chose to 
 amuse himself by conversation, and said 
 he hoped the starving he had got in the 
 snow had done him no harm. The civil 
 reply our hero gave him, induced him to 
 go on with other trifling civihties, as he 
 called them ; and at last with a low bow, 
 he said he had a favour to ask. On 
 being desired to mention it, he replied, 
 that he would be very much obliged, 
 very much indeed, if he would tell him 
 the best way to spell his name. " Air- 
 kles,'* said he, *' 'tis a droll bitch of a 
 naame, and the women and me has had 
 a tift, Sir, about how to spell Airkles.*' 
 
 «' Damn the women," exclaimed Ha- 
 verill, and was about to include honest
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 28S 
 
 Broadhead in the benediction, when 
 Mrs. St. Arno and her niece entered, 
 the former with a composed air, though 
 she had heard HaveriiPs exclamation, 
 and the latter with a blush and a look 
 6f timid gentleness, that made her ap- 
 pear more lovely than Haverill had yet 
 «een her. 
 
 Mortified ^nd provoked as Haverill 
 was, at having once more given way to 
 his temper, and natural impatience, he 
 did not forget the attentions politeness 
 required from him ; and venturing to 
 hand Miss St. Arno to the chair on the 
 right hand of her aunt, he took the bot- 
 tom of the table, and carved for the 
 ladies. 
 
 " 1 hardly need ask. Sir," said Mrs. 
 St. Arno in French, " whether you con- 
 verse in French or not, for it is now be- 
 come, even in England, the common lan- 
 guage of conversation. My niece and I 
 frequently chuse to make observations in 
 the presence of our servants, which, as
 
 SS4 HARDENBRASS AND IIAVERILL. 
 
 they do not concern them, we do not 
 think it necessary for them to know. If 
 you do not dislike it, then we will retain 
 our old custom of speaking French when 
 they are in the room." 
 
 " It will be perfectly agreeable to me, 
 Ma'am," said Haverill, " for I have 
 lived so much abroad, that it is as fami- 
 liar to me as English." 
 
 " That is our case," replied the old 
 lady, ** and I question whether Anarella, 
 who went very young into Switzerland, 
 does not think in that language now. 
 If 1 had not made a point of her being 
 English, she would soon have ceased to 
 be so, and I may thank her, for retain- 
 ing my own English so well." 
 
 ** According to your own axiom, aunt, 
 that a good action never goes without its 
 reward ; or rather, that goodness is its 
 own reward," said Anarella. 
 
 The aunt looked affectionately at the 
 niece, and her eyes said as plainly as 
 eyes could say, that she had a reward
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. ^5 
 
 for her trouble, in educating the sweet 
 girl, and Anarella's replied in most af- 
 fectionate terms. This did not escape 
 the notice of our hero, though he was 
 apparently employed in disjointing a 
 fowl. 
 
 " Well, thought he to himself, there 
 can be no deception in that, it springs 
 from the heart. These creatures, can, 
 some of them, love then ? They are not 
 all what— ^' 
 
 His reflections were interrupted by 
 Broadhead, who presented Miss St. Ar- 
 no's plate for some fowl. 
 
 " What part shall I send you. Ma'am?'* 
 said Haver ill, sighing at the remem- 
 brance of the person whose name fol- 
 lowed the what where we stopped. 
 
 •* I usually have the merry thought. 
 Sir," repHed she, with great gravity, <* but 
 as I would not monopolize a good thing, 
 while some of my neighbours are in 
 want of it, I'll take any thing else, and 
 leave that for — "
 
 ^86 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 " For me ?" asked HaverilL 
 
 " If it accords with your taste, Sir, 
 it is at your service," replied Ariarella. 
 
 Haverill helped her to a wing, and with 
 an attempt at a smile, took the merry- 
 thought himself, and Anarella hoped it 
 would prove agreeable. 
 
 This playful hint from Anarella, which 
 seemed to have reconciled the stranger 
 to her niece, pleased Mrs. St. Arno, and 
 she told Haverill that she was afraid 
 Anarella's young spirits would be almost 
 too much for him. " Youth and inno- 
 cence, w^th some other little faults, I 
 will not enumerate in her presence," 
 said the old lady, " will, I fear, render 
 her too gay a companion for your spirits. 
 When that is the case, the least indica- 
 tion of weaiiness will make her a very 
 mute." 
 
 ,' " I am not so much my own enemy. 
 Madam, as to wish any lady to be mute," 
 said Haverill. 
 
 When people once begin to be social.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL, 287 
 
 and to understand each other, unless 
 there be some great defect of temper 
 on one or both sides, they soon become 
 mutually agreeable, and Haverill had not 
 been two days in Mrs. St. Arno's house 
 before he had made both her and her 
 niece exceptions to his general opinion 
 of women. He thought they seemed 
 really good and kind-hearted, and his 
 spirits were better, and began to assimi- 
 late with those of the ladies, which were 
 generally speaking rather of the lively 
 kind. He could even bear to talk over 
 the night-affair at Pont-y-V — ; and he 
 amused the ladies with some anecdotes 
 of Sergeant Puffin and his lady ; and 
 many other people whom he happened to 
 recollect. 
 
 Mrs. St. Arno however, observed, that 
 he was not at all a lady's man. He did 
 not practise that host of little attentions, 
 which Anarelia had been used to receive 
 from all the males who approached her, 
 nor did he shew the least symptom of
 
 288 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 of any thing like the most distant ap- 
 proach to flirtation. Instead, indeed of 
 appearing to admire all she did, he 
 more than once shewed a disapprobation 
 of some lively repartees that passed be- 
 tween the aunt and the niece ; for in the 
 midst of the conversation he left the room. 
 Drawing was too cold an employment in 
 such weather, and Anarella was not a 
 harp player. Their only resource then 
 was reading and conversation, and as 
 both Haverill and Anarella liked reading 
 aloud, they contrived to pass the day and 
 evening too without ennui. 
 
 On the evening of the second day, 
 Anarella ventured to pronounce their 
 guest, a sensible, well-informed, well-bred 
 man. 
 
 " I can talk to him with pleasure," 
 said she to her aunt, <* for he has given 
 over frightening me, and thank heaven 
 he has not paid me one compliment, or 
 even the shadow of one, since he camej
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 289 
 
 Perhaps for that I am indebted to the 
 state of his own mind, as well as my own 
 demerits ; but whatever the cause, the 
 effect is pleasant. Any fool can say what 
 are called agreeable things, and I really 
 beheve some of them learn them by heart 
 to be applied upon occasion ! but only a 
 man of a cultivated mind and noble senti- 
 ments can converse as our Hercules does. 
 I fear the poor man is in love/* 
 
 " Why should you fear it ?'' asked the 
 aunt. 
 
 " Why ? why, because he seems unhap- 
 py, and I suppose he is unhappy on that 
 subject,*' replied the niece. 
 
 " Oh ! that's very well, my dear," said 
 Mrs. St. Arno. 
 
 " Why is it very well, aunt,** asked 
 Anarella in her turn ; " is it very well 
 that he is unhappy ?** 
 
 ** No, my dear, that was not my mean- 
 ing,** said the old lady ; " I said it was 
 very well in reply to an idea of my own.*' 
 ** I begin to like him amazingly,** con- 
 
 VOL. !♦ O
 
 §90 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 tinued Anarella, without taking any no- 
 tice of what her aunt said ; " there is no 
 subject on which we have talked, that he 
 is not quite at home upon. He likes my 
 dear Tasso too, and all my favorites, and 
 has as great a horror of French poetry, as 
 either of us. Then how well he reads 
 Shakespeare 1 Well I don't care now if 
 your prediction is true, and we are shut 
 up a week. I shall derive more informa- 
 tion from him than from all the Adonises 
 I have met with since I came to Eng% 
 land/' 
 
 ** I wish you may, child,*' said Mrs. St. 
 Arno, " and profit by it. He certainly 
 improves upon us, and I don't doubt that 
 before he goes, he will entrust me with 
 his real name. His caution at present is 
 proper, but he will know me better." 
 
 " Dear, I hope then he'll tell me too,'' 
 said Anarella, " for I never wished for 
 any thing in my life so much as to know 
 his name and his history. I wonder aunt 
 what sort of a woman his love is ! whether
 
 H ARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 29 1 
 
 I am like her or not. I should think I 
 am — or perhaps I am like somebody who 
 crossed his love, some enemy, some female 
 deceiver/* 
 
 " Very likely, my dear,'^ replied the 
 aunt. 
 
 " Bat, which is very likely, aunt ?'* 
 asked Anarella. 
 
 " That you are like somebody he 
 hates," said Mrs. St. Arno. 
 
 Anarella looked grave, and bid Dunn 
 fold up her gown straight, in rather a 
 sharp manner, 
 
 Dunn began to weep, and said, 
 
 " There's no casions. Miss, to be so 
 hirksome about a gownd, for all vill soon 
 be hover." 
 
 « All what, Dunn ?" said Miss St. 
 Arno. 
 
 " Vhy, Miss, don't you see that vee are 
 shit up here in a bottomless pit, an naar 
 a vay out. The man as foretold the voild 
 shed be at a hend, only mistookt the vay^ 
 It vasby snow and nat by fire. Snow is 
 o2
 
 292 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 nat vater ; for the Lord said he vad never 
 again destray the vorld by vater ; and 
 he'd be ashamed to falsify his vord, and 
 give us the damnation of vater when he 
 promised fire/' 
 
 " But snow is not fire, Dunn," said 
 Anarella ; " and I think now you may 
 make yourself easy about the prophet; 
 the day is past, you know." 
 
 '' Yes, Miss!" replied Mrs. Dunn, 
 ** the day is past in our veak deceptions, 
 that's true enough ; but vho knows vhat 
 vas the prophet's hidden deceptions, and 
 vhere he^ tookt his fundamentals ? He 
 might m^an that day as the people shit 
 up their shops, to vait for the fire, or he 
 might mean a hundred years, and name it 
 a day !" 
 
 ** In either case, Dunn, we are safe," 
 said Mrs. St. Arno ; ^' but I should like to 
 know how you, all at once, are become so 
 learned in the prophetic language ?" 
 
 Dunn curtsied and sighed ; and said 
 that Mrs. Taffle, the farmer's wife, was
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 293 
 
 well read in the Scripture, and had ex- 
 perienced the grace of God ; and she had 
 been shewing" her, and telling her, that 
 the world would be destroyed by snow. 
 
 " Mrs. Taffle may be a very experienc- 
 ed person, and have the grace of God; 
 and I hope she has ;" said Mrs. St, Arno ; 
 " but I advise you, Dunn, not to listen 
 to such discourse, for Til have neither 
 prophet nor saint in my house, if I can 
 help it ; and a call that way, would cer- 
 tainly be a call to another service." 
 
 Dunn would have replied to this; but 
 the duties of the day were over, and her 
 mistress bid her good night in a tone that 
 would not bear an answer. 
 
 08
 
 ( 294 ) 
 
 CHAP. XXVII. 
 
 Imprisonment, — Variahility. — Conversation. — '. 
 The Commencement oj Mrs JSt. Arno's History. 
 
 Waen Mrs. St. Arno came down the 
 next morning-, she found that Haverill 
 had been out to inspect the state of the 
 Toads ; and he reported that the depth of 
 the snow at the entrance to the road was 
 much more than he had imagined; and 
 he feared that the two men would be four 
 or five days before they could open the 
 communication with Pont-y-V — . 
 
 " Happily as I am situated here," said 
 he, bowling*, " you will perhaps think me 
 unreasonable to wish to be out of this hap- 
 py valley. But I am very uneasy ! A 
 business, to me of the last importance, is 
 suspended by my detention ; and, I fear, 
 my friend Twentymen will put himself to
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. Qg5 
 
 some inconvenience to find me. I wish I 
 could send a letter to him/' 
 
 " I wish you could, Sir/* replied the 
 old Lady ; '' but I know of no means to 
 pass the snow, and we do not keep doves. 
 You are fairly caught in snow bands ; 
 but be of good courage, the friendly thaw 
 will, I hope, assist to relieve you sooner 
 than you imagine/' 
 
 *' I don't know," said Haverill, " be 
 does not seem inclined to appear yot. I 
 think we had better begin to worK our 
 way with spade and shovel/' 
 
 " We, Sir?" said Anarella. 
 
 " I mean, we males. Ma'am," replied 
 Haverill : " the two men and myself must 
 do our best/' 
 
 " The men shall go to work directly," 
 said Mrs. St. Arno ; " but pardon me, if 
 I say that you must not. Such an exer- 
 tion in this cold might bring on your 
 fever; and, as Providence has entrusted 
 you to our care, we must supply the place 
 o4
 
 296" HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 of your mother, who, I'm sure, would 
 think us in the right/' 
 
 " I have no mother,*' said Haverill 
 mournfully ; and he was gratified by see- 
 ing a tear of sympathy in the eyes of both 
 ladies. This greatly affected him ; and, 
 taking the hand of Mrs. St. Arno, he said : 
 
 " Nothing, Madam, would gratify me 
 more, than to feel at liberty to commu- 
 nicate my situation to you fully and cir- 
 cumstantially ; I long to do so, but— I — 
 I am tied — . I trust that in less than a 
 fortnight after I leave this abode, the first 
 in which any fore-taste of returning peace 
 has reached me since — what was I say- 
 ing ? I trust that I may tell you all ; and 
 this leads me to request, that whenever 1 
 do depart, you will allow me to know the 
 place of your destination." 
 
 " Sir, I will certainly," said the lady, 
 " our acquaintance has been very short, 
 'tis true, but I hope when this fated fort- 
 night is over, we may have the pleasure
 
 HARDENBRASS AND H WERILL. 297 
 
 of renewing it, in a less irksome situ- 
 ation/* 
 
 Haverill said nothing*, but he looked 
 delighted ; and Anarella, who was pour- 
 ing- out the tea, some way or other con- 
 trived to make the tray flow. 
 
 ** Oh dear! I have — Oh dear!" cried 
 she. 
 
 " Dear, what?" exclaimed Haverill, 
 snatching her from the table. " Are you 
 hurt, Miss St. Arno ?" 
 
 Whether Anarella^s spirits were parti- 
 cularly low that morning, or not, we can- 
 not pretend to say, bnt she burst into 
 tears, and Mrs. Dunn having wiped up 
 the mischief, her aunt made breakfast. 
 
 " When did you begin to be nervous, 
 my dear," said her aunt; " you used to 
 bear an accident like a heroine ; but I 
 suppose seclusion is beginning to have its 
 effect on you, and 1 d(>n't wonder at, it, 
 so much as you have been accustomed to 
 exercise in the open air. I think a good 
 game at snowball would do you good/' 
 06
 
 298 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 ** I had better labor at making* the road 
 passable," replied Anarella, halt' sighing*; 
 *' and that accomplished, we should all 
 feel our nerves braced. I don't like to be 
 confined, I feel as if I did not breathe 
 freely, and if I am to be much long*er 
 a prisoner, I shall become good tor 
 nothing/* 
 
 " And if you do/' said the old lady, 
 " I shall wish to turn you over to some 
 other custody than mine. I don't like 
 useless people in any station of life, so 
 take care of yourself." 
 
 Anarella sighed again, and as soon as 
 breakfast was over retired, leaving her 
 aunt and Haverill much concerned, as 
 this sort of low spirits was very unlike her 
 character, and they both began to imagine 
 that she was affected by be^ng shut up. 
 However, she soon rejoined them perfect- 
 ly composed; and during the remainder 
 of the day, as mr.ch more agreeable to 
 Mr. Haverill than he had yet seen her ; for 
 she conversed more gravely than usual;
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 299 
 
 and, little variety as they had in their 
 amusements, night surprised them before 
 they were aware of it. 
 
 Seven or eight days elapsed before 
 the immense mass of snow, that had ma- 
 liciously drifted on the road from Rose 
 Cottage, was rendered practicable for a 
 foot passenger, and as soon as it was pos- 
 sible for the farmer to reach the high road 
 to Pont-y-V — , he was sent with a bas- 
 ket for provisions, and it was determined, 
 that if he reported the road safe for a 
 chaise, the whole party should migrate 
 to the Cheese-toaster, where the ladies 
 might remain till their own carriage and 
 baggage could be brought to them. The 
 old lady said she could walk up the hill 
 to the high road to Pont-y-V— -, very well, 
 and there was no doubt with regfard to 
 the rest of the party. As Haverill hoped 
 to be released the next day, he would not 
 send a letter to his friend by the larmer; 
 he proposed to proceed from Pont-y-Y — 
 to C — , and thence to H — as fast as 
 06
 
 300 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 possible, conjecturing" that if any one had 
 intended to molest him he was now safe, 
 as he of course was supposed to have 
 quitted the country. 
 
 " I don't know how it is/' said Mrs. St. 
 Arno, ** but I have not yet lived long" 
 enough in the world to get over the un- 
 pleasant feeling at parting with my friends, 
 and spite of age and some philosophy, it 
 always gives me an uneasy sensation to 
 .say adieu." 
 
 " And me too, aunt," said Anarella. 
 
 •* Mine is, I believe, more than an un- 
 easy sensation,'' said Haverill, ** I need 
 not tell you, how truly painful it is to me 
 to quit so kind, so hospitable a roof. I 
 am deeply flattered, ladies, by your good- 
 ness, and if I live, it will form the sole 
 pleasure of my future existence.'* 
 
 '* If you live, Sir ?" said Anarella. 
 
 " Don't die, my good friend," cried 
 the old lady, *' life has too many bless- 
 ings to be quitted at your years, and I 
 shall, I assuiQ you, be very impatient
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 301 
 
 for the termination of the promised fort- 
 night/' 
 
 " Whether I survive till that time or 
 not, Madam,*' said Haverill, ** your curio- 
 sity shall be satisfied ; and to me, it would 
 be a blessing- not to survive/' 
 
 The tone of deep despondency with 
 which this was uttered, struck Mr. Ha- 
 verilFs auditors, whose hearts were of the 
 gentlest kind, but they said nothing. 
 They felt that they could not administer 
 consolation, and they feared to be thought 
 curious, if they made any observations, 
 in general terms, which might be inter- 
 preted into particular inquiries. Their 
 countenances, however, were sufficiently 
 expressive, and the fair Anarella had, 
 perhaps, never appeared so i)eautiful or so 
 interesting to Mr. Haverill as at the mo- 
 ment when she mio^ht have sat for the 
 representative of Pily. 
 
 The day past heavily over, and was 
 the first disagreeable one that the party 
 had had to complain of, and night
 
 302 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 brought with it some alarm for Mr. Taffle, 
 ^?v'ho had been ordered to return by day- 
 light, but who did not make his appear- 
 ance till six o'clock. 
 
 When Mr. Taffle entered Mrs. St, 
 Arno's drawing-room, where he was ad- 
 mitted to give an account of his expedi- 
 tion, he reported that the high road 
 from the place where that to Rose Cot- 
 tage entered it, was tolerably good, as 
 the snuw was very hard, and that he 
 thouglit the ladies might reach it very 
 well if the frost continued. A migration 
 was then absolutely determined on, if 
 the weather did not alter, and Mrs. St. 
 Arno said she would send the man at 
 breakfast-time, to order two chaises if 
 they could be had, to be ir. waiting at 
 the nearest spot they could reach, and 
 the new friends seeming equally out of 
 spirits, and the ladies having some ar- 
 rangements to make, they separated at 
 an early hour. 
 
 Mrs. St. Arno, who knew that a de-
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 303 
 
 pression of spirits was best combated by 
 a little active employment, and who was 
 both concerned and surprised to see 
 Anarella's health affected with tlie con- 
 finement of a week or ten days, dt sired 
 that young lady to assist Mrs. Dunn in 
 selecting- such of their clothes as they 
 must necessarily take, and making a 
 package of them for Broadhead to carry 
 to the chaise. Aisarelia readily com- 
 plied, and in silence began to separate 
 her aunt's clothes. 
 
 It happened, that Mrs. Dunn, instead 
 of feeling grateful for the assistance, 
 was very much offended at any inter- 
 ference in what she called her pecumar 
 prowince, and as she handed the several 
 habiliments to the bed they were depo- 
 sited on, she indulged in a soliloquy, the 
 burden of which was, that it was time 
 the world should be at an end, as she 
 was insufficient, and that she did not 
 want to have her wages for standing like 
 a dumb waiter.
 
 304 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Anarella was so busily employed in her 
 commission, or absorbed in her own re- 
 flections, that she did not even hear a 
 word she was saying, or if she did, be- 
 ing habituated to the murmur, it pro- 
 duced noimfiression. But Mrs. St. A mo, 
 who was making a little calculation on 
 her tablets, was disturbed, and hearing 
 the words dumb waiter, she said, 
 
 " For pity's sake, Dunn, hold your 
 tonii ue ! vou are as unlike a dumb waiter 
 as possible.'^ 
 
 " Did you speak. Ma'am ?" said Dunn. 
 
 " Yes ! I desired you to hold your 
 tongue, you disturb me," said her mis- 
 tress. 
 
 " Me, Ma'am ? Bless me. Ma'am, I 
 did not speak," replied Dunn; " I have 
 not opened my lips since I came into the 
 room but just to hax vether you'd have 
 a pair of shits put up vith the other odd 
 things. There's nobody talks less nor I, 
 and if-^" 
 
 " You are talking now, child," said 
 her mistress.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 305 
 
 " Dear Ma'am, I beg your pardon, but 
 if it vas the last vord I had to speak, 
 and God knows but it may, now the 
 vorld is so near its hend ! I have not said 
 a vord but to hax the necessary questions 
 about the things, and if that his not agree- 
 able, I'm very sorry ; and Miss had best 
 elect them herself. I did think vonce, 
 that I knowd something in my procession, 
 but now I see I am a ciphon." 
 
 Here Mrs. Dunn stopped necessarily, 
 for she had exhausted her breath, and 
 her lady, taking advantage of the pause, 
 said gently, 
 
 " Dunn, hold your tongue." 
 " Ma'am, I does hold my tongue. I 
 don't speak," said she. 
 
 " I forbid you to speak again, while you 
 are in the room, unless a question should 
 be asked you," said Mrs. St. Arno. 
 
 ** Wery veil. Ma'am," said Dunn, " I'm 
 sure there can be no casions to restick 
 me, who is a picture of silence. I had 
 three sisters, and I was the least talker of
 
 SOG HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 the family, and all the neighbours christ- 
 ened iTie silent Betty. I vas famed all th« 
 country through, and nobody, my lady, 
 till I undertookt your situation, ever ex- 
 cused me before. My Lady Blunt — " 
 
 " Good Heaven !" interrupted Ana- 
 rella,vi^hose attention had now been drawn 
 to the conversation ; " for God's sake 
 don't bring her Ladyship again, for she 
 makes most unconscionable visits. Be 
 silent when my aunt tells you, and don't 
 wear us to death with your eternal 
 noise/^ 
 
 ** Henceforward," said Mrs. St. Arno, 
 " I will have silence in my room ; so no 
 reply." 
 
 Dunn here burst into tears, and con- 
 trived to weep the whole time she re- 
 mained in the room; and probably she 
 might find it a great consolation to her, 
 and a considerable alleviation of her en- 
 forced silence. 
 
 We say probably, for we do not dare 
 to aver the thing to be so positively, but
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 307 
 
 we recommend to all great talkers, to try 
 the experiment, when their tong-ues are 
 chained by the cruel commands of those 
 who are so devoid of taste as not to reHsh 
 this kind of perpetual larum. 
 
 " I wonder, aunt, that you can bear 
 that woman," said Miss St. Arno, rather 
 impatiently, " she is worse than ever." 
 
 "No, my dear," replied her aunt quiet- 
 ly, '* she is much the same, and will con- 
 tinue so, I dare say. Sometimes it is very 
 troublesome to be disturbed by her, but 
 when I am not particularly engaged, she 
 makes me smile. I fancy this evening it 
 was in ourselves the variability was found, 
 not in poor Dunn, she is always equally 
 loquacious." 
 
 " Variability," said Anarella, repeating" 
 the word her aunt had used, with much 
 emphasis ; " How, Ma'am, are we va- 
 riable ? how are we different from what 
 we have always been towards her?" 
 
 " That is a riddle I cannot exactly solve," 
 replied Mrs. St. Arno; " but certainly we
 
 308 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 are a little out of spirits, and perhaps a 
 little impatient. Dunn's loquacity, be- 
 sides being ill-timed, perhaps took its 
 colour from our prevailing hue, and this 
 rendered it still more unpalatable." 
 
 " I confess I am out of spirits," said 
 Anarella ; " I believe our unknown has 
 infected me w^ith his own despondency ; 
 and I really would give half I ever shall 
 be worth, to know the source of his misery, 
 for miserable he certainly is." 
 
 " Have patience, child," said the old 
 lady, he leaves us to-morrow, and he 
 has promised that we, at least /, shall 
 know all in a fortnight." 
 
 " Oh yes, dear aunt," cried Anarella^ 
 ** and I cannot help suspecting, from his 
 look and his manner,' and what he said 
 about surviving, that he has some affair of 
 honour upon his hands. Why else should 
 he be so anxious to conceal his name and 
 his abode ? Why should he have fixed a 
 fortnight?" 
 
 " I really cannot answer those whys»"
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. . 309 
 
 -said Mrs. St. Arno, " at all satisfactorily, 
 my dear. He may be in debt." " Poor 
 creature/' sighed Anarella, " that would 
 be shocking". What a pleasure it would 
 be to be able to extricate him from his 
 embarrassments.'' 
 
 " His wife may have eloped from him,'* 
 isaid the old lady. " What a wretched 
 woman she must be," said the niece. 
 
 ** Or he may only have been crossed in 
 love, as the people call it," continued the 
 aunt. 
 
 " That's what Jarrener calls deadly 
 poison," replied Anarella. 
 
 " These, or fifty other misfortunes may 
 have happened to him, my dear, though 
 I sincerely hope none of them have," 
 said Mrs. St. Arno; ** but as we should 
 probably be far from the truth, even if we 
 could guess the other fifty, our best way 
 at present is to go to sleep, and suspend 
 our curiosity and our pity, till the expira- 
 tion of the fortnight." 
 
 The ladies then wished each other good
 
 310 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 night, and the elder one was soon asleep ; 
 but Anarella felt her mind more fully oc- 
 cupied than it had ever been before, and 
 her compassion interested to a degree she 
 had never experienced. Her own con- 
 cerns, which were of some importance, 
 and her principal reason for visiting Wales, 
 were all forgotten. She wished the next 
 fortnight could be passed in slumbers on 
 her part, and that it might render the 
 stranger happy, though she added with a 
 sigh, she might not see him again. 
 
 The family at Rose Cottage assembled 
 the next morning, in the full expectation 
 of separating before night; but an event 
 had happened that seemed as if it would 
 keep them together some time longer. 
 This was a rapid thaw, the probable 
 effects of which would be to render the 
 road through the wood impassable, and 
 unless, by great good luck, to make the 
 rooms on the ground floor uninhabitable. 
 Haverill, whose impatience at being de- 
 tained was much increased by the near
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 311 
 
 approach and expectation of departing, 
 would have braved the danger of walking 
 up to his knees in snow water, if Mrs. St. 
 Arno had not intreated him to wait a day 
 or two ; and to this he probably would 
 have been deaf, had she not added, " that 
 his remaining would be a great pleasure 
 to Anarella and herself, and it was the only 
 favour she would ask from him/' 
 
 To a favour so asked by a lady, and one 
 too, for whom, spite of his misanthropical 
 feelings, Haverill felt a sincere and grate- 
 ful esteem, he could not give a refusal ; 
 and he sat down, after breakfast, to read 
 aloud to the ladies, as usual. As to Ana- 
 rella she had wonderfully recovered her 
 spirits, which seemed to rise the more the 
 hopes of deliverance were crossed. Mrs. 
 St. Arno, who was glad to see Anarella 
 better, was very chearful and entertaining, 
 and as she sat with her niece and protege, 
 she said, if it would afford them any enter- 
 tainment in this dire state of bondage, 
 she would, like a princess in romance, 
 4
 
 312 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 give them an account of her life and ad- 
 ventures. 
 
 « I have long promised Anarella to tell 
 her all that has befallen me," said she, 
 " and if you will not be v^^earied, Sir, I 
 will now acquit myself of my promise." 
 
 Haverill assured her that she could not 
 gratify him more, and she began in the 
 following words. 
 
 The History of Mrs. St, Arno, 
 
 ** Happy, contented and chearful as you 
 now see me, I have not been exempt from 
 the trifling mortifications, and some of 
 the more serious misfortunes of life. But 
 my evil star has now set some years, and 
 it seems as if I were to have my share of 
 good in this changeful world, at the close 
 of life. 
 
 " Then do you think, Ma'am," said 
 Haverill, interrupting her, '* that a cer- 
 tain portion of evil is appointed us here, 
 and that those who experience it early 
 2
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 31^ 
 
 in life, may hope for happiness in their 
 old age?" 
 
 « Indeed," replied the old lady, " that 
 is a point of doctrine I do not feel myself 
 equal to decide upon, but in the course 
 of my passage through the world, I have 
 frequently observed, that those who set 
 out in life with an accumulation of com- 
 forts and blessings, seldom reach its close 
 without suffering some great calamity that 
 tinges their later years with melancholy ; 
 and on the contrary, many who have 
 suffered serious misfortunes and sorrows 
 till the age of thirty or forty, have after- 
 wards enjoyed a great portion of feli- 
 <jity. This looks something like equality, 
 and though there are a few exceptions 
 of some who are always fortunate, and 
 others who seem to be the sport of fate 
 •and the victims of adversity, I think 
 it may be generally asserted, that all 
 men have their share of good and eviL 
 though not perhaps quite in equal por- 
 tions." 
 
 VOL. I. P
 
 314 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 " If that be the case," said Anarella, 
 " I may live in fear, for hitherto my life, 
 under your kind care, has been one con- 
 tinued scene of comfort and happiness ; 
 and though I have some subjects not very 
 agreeable to reflect upon, they weigh so 
 lightly in the balance, that I may venture 
 to say, I have never known sorrow, at 
 least very great sorrow." 
 
 ** I pray God you never may," replied 
 her aunt, *' but that is hardly, even by 
 worth like yours, to be expected. Let 
 me, however, old-woman-like, give you 
 a piece of advice. Don't foresee evils, 
 unless they are such as you can guard 
 against, and then don't let your mind 
 dwell upon them. Even when you have 
 suffered under misfortune, unkindness or 
 treachery, the less you can think about it 
 the better; and I know, by experience, 
 that the habit of chusing on what subject 
 your reflections shall run, may be acquir- 
 ed, and become as familiar as any other 
 habit.''
 
 HARITENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 315 
 
 " Aye," said Haverill, " but the barbed 
 fhaft! The bitter reflection that inconsi- 
 derate vanity exposed you to the snares of 
 villainy ! How can it be forgotten ?** 
 
 ** Certainly not, till it is extracted, 
 and the wound healed,*' replied Mrs. St. 
 Arno, " but the skilful hand of friend- 
 ship, aided by time, will do more than 
 even extracting" such a shaft as you speak 
 of; and though there are seasons when 
 an old wound will pain one, I feel it my- 
 ielf, yet it does not last long.*' 
 
 Haverill rose from his seat, and paced 
 the small room in great emotion ; but 
 after a few moments, he resumed his seat, 
 and begged that Mrs. St. Arno would 
 g^o on with her story, which he was very 
 anxious to hear. 
 
 ^' Willingly,*' said she. '* 1 was the 
 eldest child of my father, and unfortunate 
 enough to incur his displeasure from the 
 first moment of ray entrance into the 
 world, for he had been anxiously expect- 
 ing' a maie heir to a large landed estate 
 p2
 
 316 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 he himself had inherited from an elder 
 brother who was killed in a duel, and the 
 disappointment made so deep an impres- 
 sion on him, that I really think he never 
 forgave me for being a female. 
 
 " His behaviour made so deep an im- 
 pression on my mother, that it brought 
 on a nervous weakness, and L have heard 
 her say, that she feared her life might not 
 be spared to bring me up; but happily 
 for me it was. 
 
 " Perhaps there never was a human 
 being with so sweet a temper and so 
 affectionate a disposition as my mother. 
 Instead of considering my father's proud 
 contempt of a daughter, as at the same 
 time wrong, foolish, and unkind to her- 
 self, she thought that he had great reason 
 to be disappointed, and she pitied him 
 for not having the only blessing he de- 
 clared wanting to his felicity. " No 
 man," he would say, "has a fortune 
 that more amply supplies his wishes ; 
 no man stands higher in his profession;
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 317 
 
 (he was a general ;) no man is nearer his 
 Sovereign's ear than I am ; and yet the 
 only comfort I require, an heir to insure 
 the descent of my name to posterity, is 
 denied me. Have I not reason to com- 
 plain ?*' ** Indeed you have, my dear," 
 was generally my mother's answer, and I 
 have seen her weep for his painful feelings 
 of disappointment, as much as if his grief 
 had been rational. 
 
 " Till I had reached my eighteenth 
 year, however, there was no prospect of 
 any further increase to our family, and 
 then the pleasure in the expectation could 
 only be equalled by the mortification that 
 the birth of a second gifl produced. 
 
 " I shall never while I live forget my 
 father's agony, and I believe that it occa- 
 sioned the death of my dear mother, who 
 survived her confinement only six weeks. 
 I mention these particulars because they 
 produced an effect on my mind that 
 gave a colour to my future destiny. 
 
 " My mother had laboured hard in the 
 p3
 
 318 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 course of my education, to impress me 
 with the idea that my father was the most 
 reasonable, excellent man living", but 
 though I thought him so in other re- 
 spects, at least as far as my observation 
 went, I never could bring myself to con-^ 
 sider his behaviour either to her or to me, 
 kind and reasonable. 1 resented it, I 
 mean I would have done so if I had had 
 an opportunity, and I felt that he had no 
 love for me, and I no confidence in him. 
 My grief for the loss of my mother was 
 increased ten-fold, by the conviction that 
 my father did not care for me, and I was 
 still more disgusted with all at home, 
 when he insisted soon after that event, 
 that 1 should sit as the head of his table, 
 and receive the nvimerous visitors who 
 frequented our house. 1 was obliged to 
 put ofF my mourning to be presented, 
 and even now I can feel, can recollect I 
 mean, the disgust and grief this apparent 
 disrespect to the memory of a parent I 
 adored, occasioned me.'*
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 319 
 
 At this period of her story, Mrs. St. 
 Arno was interrupted by the entrance of 
 Broadhead, with the tray for dinner ; and 
 we shall take the opportunity of conclud- 
 ing our chapter.
 
 ( 320 ) 
 CHAP. XXVIII. 
 
 Continuation of Mrs, St. Arno's Histotyo 
 
 "My father's known influence in a cer- 
 tain quarter, and the weight his fortune 
 and character had in the world, procured 
 me numerous danglers, for admirers I 
 can hardly call them, and a young officer 
 of high reputation, who had been well 
 known and esteemed by my mother, was 
 perhaps the only one of the party who 
 joined, to the hope of interest, the merit 
 of real affection. During several months 
 he v/as ray constant attendant, and though 
 he intended when he found the lucky 
 moment to make his wishes known to me, 
 yet the consciousness of want of fortune, 
 to entitle him to receive the hand of 
 General T — 's daughter, for a long time 
 prevented him. 
 
 " About ten months after my mother''s
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 321 
 
 death, my father, of whom I had seen but 
 little for some weeks, entered my sitting 
 room, and desiring me to lay aside my 
 drawing, said he had something to talk to 
 me about. I obeyed, and awaited his 
 communication in some anxiety. After 
 a considerable pause, he began, — 
 
 ** It is my intention, as soon as my 
 year of mourning is completed, to marry 
 again ; and as such a step will necessarily 
 require an arrangement of ray affairs, I 
 have called on you this morning, Helen, 
 to consult your inclination with respect 
 to your future residence, and to acquaint 
 you with the extent of your expecta- 
 tions. 
 
 " My tears and sobs here stopped Ge- 
 neral T , he walked to the window, 
 
 till I was a little composed, and then 
 continued, 
 
 " It is perhaps natural enough that 
 
 the mention of a second mother should 
 
 renew your tears for the first, who was 
 
 certainly a very exemplary character, 
 
 p 5
 
 322 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 but upon the whole not exactly suited for 
 the elevated and public station her alli- 
 ance with me placed her in. She would 
 have shone more in private life. I trust 
 that if you chuse to remain here, the lady 
 who will bless me with her hand, will not 
 be disagreeable to you. She is about 
 your own age, amiable and clever ; and 
 assured me yesterday, that your residence 
 with her would contribute much to h^r 
 satisfaction." 
 
 " I asked if she was any of my axjquaint- 
 ance, and was surprised to hear that it 
 was a young lady who had been presented 
 on the same day I was, and with whom I 
 was rather intimate ; that my father had 
 been struck with her appearance on the 
 occasion I have mentioned, and that he 
 was accepted with pleasure both by the 
 parents and the lady herself. 
 
 " I have the satisfaction of seeing that I 
 am passionately beloved," continued my 
 father ; *' which, considering my age, al- 
 most fifty, is more than I could hav<> 
 
 4
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 323 
 
 hoped for on so short an acquaintance. 
 And now, Helen, yon have your choice 
 of three things ; either to remain here, 
 where you will have your own apartments, 
 and such an establishment as suits Gene- 
 ral T \s daughter ; to go to your aunt. 
 
 Lady Y — — , who has kindly undertaken 
 to bring up that other poor child ; or to 
 
 accept the hand of the Earl of G , 
 
 who has this morning proposed to me 
 for you.'^ 
 
 "Dear Sir!** said I, "the Earl of 
 
 G ? why, he is almost fifty I old 
 
 enough to be my grandfather !" 
 
 " I confess that this was very inconside- 
 rate, and even rude on my part ; but it 
 was involuntary. My father looked very 
 angry ; but he was too well bred to re- 
 proach me, and he continued thus ; 
 
 " Then I am to understand. Miss T — , 
 that the Earl is refused ?'* I bowed, and 
 he went on : 
 
 " Hear, then, what your expectations 
 are. With your mother, I received all 
 vQ
 
 324 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 her father had scraped tog-ether, some^ 
 where about fifty thousand pounds. This 
 was settled upon me for my life, if I 
 survived her ; and will be equally divided 
 between you and the other girl after my 
 death. If I could afford it, I would now 
 relinquish your share of it; but I am 
 marrying a young lady with uo fortune, 
 and may hope to look forward to the pro- 
 viding for younger sons ; it would not, 
 therefore, be justice to my family to give 
 out of my hands so large a capital. But, 
 as a decent provision is due to you, I 
 shall give you five thousand pounds, the 
 interest of which will be quite enough to 
 provide you with every thing necessary 
 for a female ; and either here, or at my 
 sister's, you will find a home, and a car- 
 riage free of expense. With five thou- 
 sand pounds, and my connexions, you 
 will marry well ; and, by giving you so 
 little ready money, I secure you against 
 the possibility of marrying any young 
 man who has not a large fortune. If anjr
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 325 
 
 such should make any overtures to you, 
 tell him what your fortune is ; and add, 
 at the same time, that you will incur my 
 displeasure by accepting him. The daugh- 
 ter of General T has a right to expect 
 
 a splendid establishment in marriage ; and 
 if you would take my advice, you \vould 
 
 accept the Earl of G . I give you a 
 
 fortnight to consider in ; and in the mean 
 time, you must wait on the dear girl who 
 has promised me her hand. I have or- 
 dered the carriage at four, and expect 
 you will be ready to accompany me." 
 
 " So saying, my father quitted me, and 
 left me in a state of distress I cannot 
 describe. 
 
 " If I was surprised at my father's think- 
 ing of so young a wife, I was no less so 
 at the ready acceptance Maria — (excuse 
 my not mentioning faaiily names at 
 length. Sir,) I was surprised, 1 say, that 
 Maria should profess so great a readiness 
 to marry him. I had not then learnt 
 that a love of a splendid establishment
 
 326 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 •would stifle all other feeling's in the breast 
 of an ambitious young woman. I had 
 more than once fancied that she was at- 
 tached to the young officer I mention- 
 ed before as my admirer, and whom I 
 shall call Captain Orme; for she took 
 infinite pleasure in interrupting our con- 
 versation whenever we met ; and I had 
 conceived a sort of jealousy and dislike 
 to her. Though not naturally, I hope, 
 of a suspicious disposition, I could not 
 help thinking that her love for my father 
 was not so ardent as he imagined ; and I 
 determined to go to my aunt as soon as 
 I was at liberty, and ask her advice in 
 the disposal of myself. 
 
 " In the mean time, I dressed to accom- 
 pany my father to the house of Maria's 
 parent's ; and, actuated perhaps by a spi- 
 rit of perverseness, as well as a renewed 
 grief for my mother, I put on my deep- 
 est mourning, though I had changed 
 about a month before . 
 
 ** The General looked displeased when
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 327 
 
 he handed me into the carriagej^, but he 
 said nothing, and we rode on in silence. 
 All the way we went I was endeavouring' 
 to gain the command of my feelings, and 
 I alighted with tolerable composure. 
 
 *' We were received in form, for the 
 family was one that lived in great splen- 
 dour, and in our own circle; and when 
 my father led me into the drawing-room, 
 I found the parents, and six daughters, of 
 whom my mama was the eldest ; a young 
 officer their son, and two or three other 
 people whom I had often seen, but did 
 not know intimately. 
 
 */ My father led me immediately to his 
 bride, who blushed the deepest crimson 
 when she saw me, and said : 
 
 " Miss T — , my beloved Miss is 
 
 most anxious to pay her respects to you, 
 and to assure you, that the happiness you 
 have allowed me to hope for, renders you 
 doubly dear to her heart." 
 
 " He at the same time took her hand, 
 which he tenderly kissed, and then join-
 
 528 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 ing it wi^fi mine, he pressed both to his 
 heart. This was too much for me, I had 
 never received any marks of tenderness 
 from my father, either before or after my 
 motiier's death, and 1 burst into a passion 
 of tears, that vvell nigh choaked me. I 
 think the scene must have been rather 
 ludicrous to a by-stander, though it was 
 very painful to me. My father, exces- 
 sively angry, and perhaps a little ashamed,, 
 was consoling his bride, who almost faint- 
 ed in his arms, at this proof of her daugh- 
 ter's affectionate joy ; her father, mother, 
 uncles, and aunts were bringing remedies 
 to revive and compose me; the young 
 officer opened the window and hummed a 
 tune, and the girls from the school-room, 
 whispered and giggled with each other. 
 They were soon however ordered out of 
 the room, and we were informed that din- 
 ner was served. My father chose to stay,. 
 I excused myself on the plea of illness, 
 and was conducted by the young officer to 
 my carriage- 
 s'
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. SQ9 
 
 ** I drove to Lady Y — *s, but she was at 
 Richmond, so I returned home to nurse 
 my woes in solitude. But here is dinner, 
 to which when we have paid our respectSj> 
 I will renew my narrative."
 
 330 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 CHAP. XXIX. 
 
 In wliich Mrs. St. Arno resumes her Narration. 
 
 Whjen dinner was over, and the things 
 removed, Mrs. St. Arno resumed her nar- 
 ration. 
 
 " I assure you, my young friends, 
 though I relate all these things to you 
 with so much composure, I felt them 
 severely at the moment. But lapse of 
 time, and some succeeding trials, has 
 wetikened their effect, and I think I have 
 now a sort of melancholy pleasure in 
 recollecting them. 
 
 '* I think I stopped at my return home, 
 or rather to my father's house, for it was 
 no longer a home for me. When the 
 carriage stopped, I perceived Captaii* 
 Orme on the step, and he accompanied 
 me into the drawing-room. He inquired 
 for the General, and I told him that I
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 331 
 
 had left him in Brook Street. * Then it 
 is true, I presume, Miss T — , that the 
 General is about to form a connexion 
 there ?' said the Captain. 
 
 ** ' Yes!* said I, * and by the manner 
 you speak in, I fancy the thing is known, 
 though I was a stranger to it till this 
 morning.' 
 
 " ' I heard it eight months ago,' replied 
 Captain Orme, * but 1 never could bear 
 to mention so painful a subject in your 
 presence : nor could any one, I should 
 imagine, who knew your angelic mo- 
 ther.' 
 
 ** * The General told me himself,' 
 said I. 
 
 ** Captain Orme looked shocked and 
 hurt at my emotion, for I could not re- 
 frain from tears 3 and after a pause, he 
 said, * Pardon me, my dear Miss T — , 
 but I am anxious to know, interested I 
 would say, if I dared, whether, as is 
 reported, the Earl of G — is to be son-in- 
 law to Maria ?'
 
 SSo HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 " * No, indeed,' replied I, * that my 
 beloved mother would never have con- 
 sented to, nor should I — ' 
 
 '* You will easily imagine that this was 
 the prelude to an offer of his heart, in re- 
 ply to which, I told him exactly what my 
 father designed to do> and pointed out 
 the little probability there was that I 
 should, for many years, become possessed 
 of the moiety of my mother's fortune. He 
 was deaf to all my objections ; and, being 
 seconded by my own esteem for him, and 
 my preseut uncomfortable situation, I 
 consented that he should speak to my 
 aunt, who would, I doubted not, on ac- 
 count of the value she had for Orme, en* 
 deavour to persuade my father to consent. 
 The event, however, proved that we were 
 both mistaken. My aunt warmly espous- 
 ed the cause of the Earl of G ; and 
 
 said that it was the extreme of folly and 
 romance for a girl brought up as I had 
 been, to think of marrying a young offi- 
 cer with little more than his pay to sub«
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 3S$ 
 
 sist upon ; and she strongly exhorted 
 Captain Orme not to expose himself to 
 all the miseries consequent upon a large 
 family, and a small fortune. 
 
 *' As to my brother," said she, " he has 
 reached that time of life when a man has 
 a right to please himself: he wants an 
 heir ; and, of course, he takes a young" 
 wife. But the case is widely different 
 with you, Captain Orme ; you want a for- 
 tune; the shortest and surest way is to 
 marry one ; then, if your wife dies, the 
 next time you please your inclination. 
 As to Helen, she cannot hope to enjoy 
 her fortune for twenty years at least, as 
 the General is strong, and has a good con- 
 stitution ; besides, we are a long lived fa- 
 mily ; her wisest plan is to take the Earl 
 of G -, who is very much broken with- 
 in the last two years : in two more she 
 may be a widow ; and then, if she likes 
 the connexion, and you are at liberty, 
 she can bring you a fine jointure, as well 
 as her love and all that sort of thing."
 
 334 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 " But," said the Captain, " Miss T 
 
 is willing" to relinquish all the advantages 
 a large fortune yields, and to suffer the 
 privations a narrow income must occa- 
 sion. I am romantic enough to think 
 people may be very happy with a bare 
 sufficiency, and enjoy themselves amazing- 
 ly, though they walk on foot. Miss T 
 
 is, I believe, of the same opinion ; and 1 
 must again beg your Ladyship to mention 
 my wishes to the General." 
 
 " My aunt was very angry at the Cap- 
 tain for persisting, and assured him that 
 she would have nothing to do with the 
 affair : she added, that if I continued to 
 correspond with him, she should feel her- 
 self bound to refuse me an asylum under 
 her roof, and to forbid him her house. 
 She said she had no personal dislike to 
 him, but he w^as poor ; and that Helen 
 
 T must have such an establishment 
 
 as would not make her relations ashamed 
 of her. 
 
 " It was in vain that we endeavoured t»
 
 HAKDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 333 
 
 win my aunt over to our interest; she 
 was inexorable; and Orme decided upon 
 speaking to the General himself. He took 
 the opportunity when my father was about 
 to escort his mistress to a jewel Ier*s to 
 make choice of jewels for her wedding; 
 and he urged his wishes with great ear* 
 nestness. My father thanked him politely 
 for the honour he did his daughter, but 
 begged to decline it. " I do not mean, 
 Captain Orme," said he, " to make par- 
 ticular inquiries respecting your fortune. 
 I know you have some ; but, I fancy, if 
 
 I even were to give Miss T the five 
 
 thousand pounds I propose, your whole 
 income would hardly exceed seven hun- 
 dred a year?'* 
 
 '' The Captain owned it would not be 
 quite so much. 
 
 ** Then," said the General, " there is 
 necessarily an end to the business. As 
 
 long as Miss T- is under my roof or 
 
 her aunt's, and she has her choice, she 
 will appear in a manner becoming my
 
 336 HARDENER ASS AND HAVERILL* 
 
 daughter, and her little income wili fur- 
 nish her with clothes and pocket-money. 
 But it would be quite a different thing if 
 she was your wife, Sir. I should blush 
 to meet her." 
 
 " This very much irritated Orme, who 
 was unguarded enough to hint, that even 
 as his wife, I had an undisputed right to 
 the half of my mother's fortune, and in 
 case of my sister's death, to the whole. 
 My father never forgave this, and at 
 the time it occasioned such high words 
 between them, that nothing but his love 
 for me, prevented Orme from calling 
 my father out. He left the house with- 
 out seeing me; and 1 need not tell you 
 how unhappily I passed the next four 
 days, during which I heard nothing of 
 him. On the third day after his de- 
 parture, my father paid me another 
 morning visit, during which, he never 
 once mentioned Captain Orme, supposing 
 that his determination had put an end to 
 the affair. He came to ask how I meant
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 337 
 
 to dispose of myself. I replied, that at 
 least, for a few months, I should wish to 
 go to my aunt. 
 
 " Very well, Miss T — , as you please. 
 But if you would take ray advice, you 
 would leave this house only to take pos- 
 session of G — Castle,'* said the father. 
 
 " I shook my head, and he bid me ar- 
 range every thing with my aunt, as he 
 was too much engaged in preparing for 
 his marriage, to have a moment to spare. 
 I accordingly wrote to her, requesting 
 her to receive me into her family, and it 
 was not till the next morning, that she 
 sent me an answer. In this answer, she 
 promised to receive me on two condi- 
 tions ; one, not to have any further ac- 
 quaintance with Captain Orme, and the 
 other to promise that the childish par- 
 tiahty, as she termed it, should not induce 
 me to relinquish any subsequent offer, 
 Vt'hen such an establishment as suited a 
 daughter of the house of T. should pre- 
 sent itself. If I would agree to, and 
 VOL. I. a
 
 338 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 solemnly promise this, she would receive 
 me with open arms, and never mention 
 Orme's name to me ; if not, she desired 
 me to remain where I was, as she would 
 not be answerable for consequences. 
 
 " On the day I received this, Captain 
 Orme came to visit me. He told me 
 that he had forborne to come or to write, 
 from the fear of being intercepted, but 
 that having" discovered that the General 
 was to attend Maria to the opera after 
 dining with the family, he had watched 
 him out of the house. 
 
 ** And now my dear Miss T — ," said 
 he, " I know not what to propose. If 
 I followed the dictates of my love, I 
 should urge you to bless me with your 
 hani!, and run the risk of afterwards 
 propitiating the General. His interest 
 alone would make my fortune, and he 
 can have any thing he asks. But I will 
 not be so selfish ; the only favour I re- 
 quest, is permission to hope, that should 
 fortune be propitious, you will give me
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 339 
 
 your hand ; I have heard that we shall 
 soon be sent on active service, and I may 
 have an opportunity of distinguishing 
 myself." 
 
 " I will not trouble you with detailing 
 the whole that past at this interview ; 
 the result was a promise of mutual fide- 
 lity, and an agreement to meet the first 
 Wednesday in each month at St. — 's 
 church, till some new circumstance 
 might induce us to make a new arrange- 
 ment. 
 
 " I then wrote to my aunt, respect- 
 fully assuring her, that my most earnest 
 wish was to reside with her, and take 
 the charge of my little sister ; but that I 
 would make no promises. I waited for 
 an answer to my note two days, but 
 none coming, I spoke to my father, and 
 said, if agreeable, I should wish to re- 
 main in his house. He inquired why I 
 had changed my plan, and I told him 
 that my aunt declined receiving me. 
 He went directly to her, and she irri- 
 a2
 
 340 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 tated him so much against me, that he 
 informed me on his return, that now his 
 resolution was taken, and he should send 
 Lord G — word that his offer was ac- 
 cepted. It was in vain that I protested 
 against such a step, and promised never 
 to marry without his consent, if he would 
 not oblige me to take a man I could not 
 love ; he was inexorable, having, he said, 
 consulted his Maria, who saw no reason 
 in the world why I should not love Lord 
 G — , a man, she said, in the prime of 
 life ; at an age when men are the most 
 likely to secure the affections of young 
 women. 
 
 " This specimen of the part my mother- 
 in-law was inclined to act, by no means 
 reconciled me to remaining at General 
 T — 's, and I again applied to Lady Y — : 
 but she was still determined, and I was 
 obliged to consent to stay with my father. 
 I was not long after told by my father, 
 that the Earl of G— would wait on me 
 the following day, and at the same time
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 341 
 
 commanded me to receive him with po- 
 liteness, as my foolish conduct had ren- 
 dered it necessary, for the honour of my 
 family, to have me immediately settled. 
 It was in vain that I begged and intreated, 
 and even promised to think no more of 
 Captain Orme, if I might be allowed to 
 remain single ; my father said that the 
 Earl was impatient, and that in the present 
 state of my mind the sooner the ceremony 
 was over the better. He then again com- 
 manded me to receive the Earl favourably, 
 and left me very wretched. 
 
 " I would have gone to my aunt the 
 next day, but I was told that the Gene- 
 ral's orders were, that I should not leave 
 my room till the Earl arrived. 
 
 " Having taken my resolution, I went 
 down to the Earl as soon as he was an- 
 nounced, and my father looked pleased 
 with my prompt appearance. The Earl 
 expressed his happiness, at the prospect 
 of an union, which he was led to hope 
 was not disagreeable to me ; he appeared 
 a3
 
 :j4>2 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 satisfied with himself and his eloquence, 
 and perhaps with my silence : and my 
 father left us alone, fully persuaded that 
 he had conquered my resolution. 
 
 " I knew that my father was going to 
 his Maria, and I waited till I heard his car- 
 riage depart before I spoke, I then stopt 
 the Earl in the midst of a very eloquent 
 speech, and requested him to hear me. 
 He bowed over my hand, which he held 
 in spite of me, and awaited my commu- 
 nication with perfect self-satisfaction. 
 
 " Bly Lord \" said I, " I cannot love 
 you, and I therefore cannot marry you." 
 
 ** His Lordship^s surprise at this de^ 
 claration was so great, that he let fail my 
 band and rose from his seat. " Not love 
 me, Miss T— ?" said he, ** Not love me ?*' 
 ** No, my Lord," replied I, trembling with 
 fear, for he looked very angry, but I felt 
 as if my future destiny depended on my 
 resolution, and I spoke as firmly as I 
 could. 
 
 ** Then give me leave, capricious
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 343 
 
 woman, to ask why I was brought here, 
 and why the General exposed me, to be- 
 come the amusement of a— a—'* 
 
 " My Lord,'* said I, still more fright- 
 ened, ** if you will listen patiently, I will 
 tell you how I am situated.'* He threw 
 himself into his chair, swelling* with vex- 
 ation, and bowed his head to signify to 
 me that I might proceed. 
 
 ** Without meaning, my Lord, any bad 
 compliment to yourself,** said I, ** the 
 disparity in your years will be a sufficient 
 reason for my not being able to give you 
 my affections.'* 
 
 " Disparity !*' interrupted he, colouring 
 deeply ; " Disparity ! how impertinent." 
 
 " My Lord,** said I, " it was not my 
 intention to be impertinent, nor can I see 
 how so simple a truth can be so. But if 
 you do not think that a reason, I will con- 
 fess that before my father proposed your 
 Lordship to me, I had received other at- 
 tentions more agreeable.'* 
 a4
 
 ?A4> HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 " And did the General know this, Miss 
 T-..?'' asked he. 
 
 " My father has refused the gentle- 
 man," replied I, " and he wished me to 
 transfer my affections, but, my Lord, I 
 cannot, I really cannot. And all I beg 
 of your Lordship, is, to withdraw your 
 persecutions." " Undoubtedly, Madam, 
 I shall oblige you," replied he, rising and 
 ringing for his carriage. ** Spite of my 
 age. Miss T — , 1 do not doubt to find 
 ladies as young, as well born, and as well 
 bred as General T — 's daughter, who can 
 and will readily too, give me an undis- 
 puted heart, and a joyful welcome." So 
 saying, he bowed low, and left me com- 
 paratively happy, for I was persuaded I 
 should see him no more. I retired to my 
 own room as soon as he was gone, and 
 employed myself in considering how I 
 should keep my promise with Captain 
 Orme, of whom I determined to take 
 leave for the present, and to wait till hap- 
 pier days to enjoy his society.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 345 
 
 The next day being Wednesday, I de- 
 termined not to fail in my appointment, 
 for I felt I should be easier when I had 
 told him not to expect me to meet him 
 again, and I was during the morning, in 
 a terrible fright lest my father should 
 come to me in consequence of the EarFs 
 dismissal. I however heard nothing of 
 him, and at half past ten I set off for St. 
 — 's church, attended by my woman. 
 
 She had brought the key of our pew, 
 and as I found Captain Orme in the aisle, 
 we entered the seat and conversed in a 
 low voice, without attracting any notice. 
 I told him all that had happened, and add- 
 ed my resolution not again to be guilty 
 of so great an impropriety as meeting 
 him clandestinely. It was in vain that 
 he urged me to change i% I was inexor- 
 able, but 1 agreed to receive a letter from 
 him, sent under cover to my woman, as 
 he was in daily expectation that his regi- 
 ment would be ordered to Flanders,. and 
 he was besides anxious to hear what fur- 
 a6
 
 346 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 ther passed between my father and my- 
 self. We separated sorrowfully enough^ 
 and I quitted the church first with my 
 attendant, and immediately returned 
 home. 
 
 ** I am very far, my dear Anarella, from 
 intending to recommend any such pro- 
 ceeding to you, even if you should fancy 
 it necessary ; nor do I think I was at ali 
 correct in agreeing to meet Captain Orme 
 any where but at my father's house. But 
 at the time I did not see things in the 
 same light I do now, and not expecting 
 any thing but unkindness from my father, 
 and my aunt, perhaps I flew the more 
 eagerly to one whom I valued, and who 
 certainly loved me very sincerely. I 
 leave you to decide whether I was ex- 
 cusable or not. But to go on with my 
 story, which 1 fear yi:>u will think tedious. 
 As I heard nothing of my father that 
 day, I took it for granted that the Earl 
 had told him what had passed, and th«t 
 he was happily too busy or too much of-
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 347 
 
 fended to reproach me. The next morn- 
 ing', my aunt, Lady Y , called, and dis- 
 missing" my woman, who was employed 
 in my room, she began in the following 
 manner. 
 
 " Miss T — , I am ashamed of you ! 
 never did I imagine, weak, foolish girl, 
 that a dauofhter of the house of T — could 
 disgrace her family as you have done." 
 
 " This address made me imagine that 
 she had by some means learnt my clan- 
 destine interview with Captain Orme, 
 and being somewhat ashamed of it my- 
 self, and provoked that it should be 
 known, I looked I believe like a con- 
 demned criminal. My air of contrition 
 somewhat softened her. " I am glad to 
 see. Miss T — ^ that you are ashamed of 
 your conduct,'' continued she, " and I 
 hope it will never be repeated." 
 
 *' Indeed,'^ said I, weeping bitterly^ 
 ** it never shall.'* 
 
 " Well now, my dear Miss T— , that 
 is very rational in you," said she, " and 
 a6
 
 348 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 more, much more than I expected. I 
 don't wonder that you repented of what 
 is enough to break any girl's heart to 
 think of, and I am glad to have to report 
 to the General " 
 
 " Good God ! my dear aunt^ the Ge- 
 neral surely does not know ?" 
 
 *' How ! not know, child ?" replied my 
 aunt, " why how should he avoid it ? the 
 Earl of course told him all." 
 
 " This removed a weight from my mind, 
 for I found I had misunderstood my aunt, 
 but I said nothing. She went on to tell 
 me that the Earl had written a very angry 
 letter to the General, complaining of my 
 want of good manners, and his want of 
 honour ; that at first a duel nearly took 
 place, but that she happened to hear of it 
 through Maria, and had made up the 
 quarrel, the Earl consenting to retract 
 his charge, on the General assuring' him, 
 that it was his most earnest wish to see 
 me Countess of G— , and that if he had 
 any authority, he might promise himself
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 349 
 
 that he should receive my hand in a few 
 days. " In these cases," continued she, 
 " sincerity is every thing". I told the Earl 
 that fellow Orme stood in his way, and he 
 
 left me to speak to the ■ in to 
 
 have him disposed of. And now child, 
 as you are sensible of your error, I shall 
 take you with me to my house, and send 
 to the Earl to dine with us ; I am quite 
 sure that you will be perfectly happy 
 when the ceremony is over, and even if 
 you disliked it, you must marry the Earl 
 now,, to save your father's life. 
 
 ** It was in vain that I protested and 
 vowed I never would marry the Earl, I 
 was loaded with reproaches, and dragged 
 into Lady Y— 's carriage, where I faint- 
 ed. When I got to her house, I was so 
 ill and so terrified, that she was compelled 
 to let me remain in my own room, 
 aud how she entertained the Earl, I 
 don't know. 
 
 " The next day I sent my woman home, 
 >vith orders not to return till she had a
 
 S50 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 letter from Orme ; and I refused to rise, 
 asserting", and very truly, that I was ill. 
 My aunt had a long conference with the 
 Earl, who was told that I would receive 
 his visit the following* evening, and she 
 came to prepare me to give my consent 
 to the marriage. '* If you delay it a 
 month, Miss T— , it must take place at 
 last," said she, " and I have given my 
 advice, that you shall meet the Earl for 
 the first time, with his special licence, and 
 his chaplain at hand." 
 
 ** This expression struck me exceeding- 
 ly, and 1 did not doubt that it was intended 
 to make me Countess of G — , on the fol- 
 lowing evening. I was silent, however, 
 and my aunt, who probably thought she 
 had said more than she ought, quitted the 
 room. My woman returned soon after, 
 with a short letter from Captain Orme, 
 informing me, that instead of the regiment 
 being ordered to Flanders, it was now des- 
 tined to the East-Indies, and he intreated 
 me to unite my destiny to his immediate- 
 2
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 351 
 
 }y. He said he had but justr eceived his 
 orders, that he could have leave of absence 
 for a few days, and that if I would trust 
 myself with him, he would convey me to 
 the house of a female relative, where we 
 might take such steps as seemed most ad- 
 visable. He said, that if I could consent 
 to be his wife, he would wait for me where 
 we had before met. 
 
 ** I hope I shall be pardoned, if the cir- 
 cumstances I was in, induced me to trust 
 myself rather to a man, whose honour I 
 had no reason to doubt, than to those who 
 had shewn that my happiness was the 
 least of their consideration. Necessity is 
 truly said to be the mother of invention ; 
 and I may add, that tyranny is the father 
 of artifice. I got up early the next 
 morning, and ordering my woman to re- 
 main in the anti-chamber till eleven^ and 
 then lock the door and follow me to 
 a place I named, and where I intended 
 to leave a note for her, I wrapped myself 
 in my cloak, and got out of the house un«
 
 352 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 perceived by my aunt. I had not gone 
 far, when I perceived Captain Orme 
 approaching. He immediately recog- 
 nised me, and was about to put me in a 
 chair, when my fatlier suddenly appeared. 
 I think, I never suffered more acute pain 
 than at that moment ; he demanded why 
 I was there ? why I was with the Cap- 
 tain ? and fifty other whys in a hurried 
 manner. The extremity of my situation 
 gave me courage: I told him that I 
 had learnt his intention from my aunt ; 
 that I was resolved to die rather than 
 marry Lord G — , and that Captain Orme 
 was about to convey me to the house of 
 his aunt. My father bid me enter the 
 chair, but I refused, saying, that I 
 begged he would allow Captain Orme 
 and myself to walk home with him. 
 This he agreed to, and not to tire you 
 with too many particulars, he, before 
 night, consented to give me the five 
 thousand pounds, on condition that the 
 Captain should take me with him to India.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 3S3 
 
 To this he had no objection ; we were 
 married in less than a week, and I soon 
 after bade adieu to England, and to a 
 parent, whose only kind act to me was 
 sending me from him. As to the Earl 
 of G — , my aunt, who would never see 
 me, appeased him, and soon after my 
 departure, my father married his Maria.
 
 ( 354 > 
 CHAP. XXX. 
 
 Conclusion of Mrs, St, Arno's History, 
 
 The life of an officer with a small in- 
 come and a young wife, is necessarily as 
 quiet and retired as his situation will 
 allow it to be, and my own disposition 
 suited well to the lot that had fallen to 
 me. 
 
 " During" the first three years of my 
 marriage, I enjoyed as much happiness 
 probably, as ever woman did; and my 
 husband gave me every reason to bless 
 the circumstances that had almost forced 
 me into his arms. I became the mother 
 of a little girl whom we both fondly 
 loved, and her death was the first adverse 
 stroke we suflfered. About that time a 
 family came to reside where we were sta* 
 tioned, whose real name I shall conceal 
 under that of Forbin. The gentleman
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. $55 
 
 had made an immense fortune in India, 
 and was about to return with his wife and 
 three young children to England. He 
 was considered a very liberal, and even 
 extravagant man, and his lady, who was 
 a rich widow when he married her, ex- 
 ceeded the exceeding luxury of British 
 Indians. I ought to describe her person 
 to you, according to the true style of 
 story-telling, but I fear I have little 
 talent that way ; however I will try. 
 
 ** She was about twenty-five years of 
 age, of a middle stature, well made, 
 and exceedingly graceful in her move- 
 ments. Her face was striking and pretty, 
 but I thought the first time I saw her, 
 that there was an expression of great 
 unhappiness in it, for which I could not 
 account, as she seemed on the happiest 
 terms with her husband. Her eyes were 
 very dark and brilliant, and her hair 
 very fine. Her mother had been a half 
 cast, and the daughter's complexion was 
 rather dark.
 
 356 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 " We became very intimate, and Mr. 
 Forbin pointed out some methods by 
 which Captain Orme, who was soon 
 after Major Orme, might increase his 
 income : he offered to lend him money 
 to make the venture, but Orme was^ 
 afraid of running any risk, that in the 
 event of his death, might leave me in 
 very unpleasant circumstances. The in- 
 timacy, however, that subsisted princi- 
 pally between the gentlemen, involved us 
 in more expense than I thought prudent, 
 and I told the Major that we must decline 
 giving and receiving so many dinners. 
 He looked dissatisfied, and replied, that 
 as the Forbins would go to England by 
 the first ships, it would soon be over; 
 he would rather not make any alteration 
 during their stay. As he was almost 
 always with them when we did not ask 
 them to dine with us, and as I thought 
 he was particularly enjoying himself, 1 
 acquiesced in silence. 
 
 *' My own delicate health, which was
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 557 
 
 somewhat affected by the climate, kept 
 me more at home, and Mrs. Forbin often 
 brought my husband home in her carriage, 
 when he had passed the day there, for the 
 purpose, she said, of asking me how I was. 
 
 " One day we were to give a dinner 
 to a large party of officers, and the For bins 
 and I, mentioned the night before to my 
 husband, that there were a few things 
 which I feared we should not be able to 
 get. " My dear Helen/' said he, '' don't 
 think about any thing; I have ordered 
 the man to go to Mrs. Forbin, for any 
 thing that is wanting ; she will supply us 
 plate, or any thing else." 
 
 " I believe I looked as if I did not ap- 
 prove this arrangement, for he changed 
 colour, and asked what possible objection 
 I could have. " My objection,'' said I, 
 " is a very natural one, I dislike unneces- 
 sary obligation." 
 
 " Nonsense, Helen," replied he, " ob- 
 ligation to so superior a woman as Mrs. 
 Forbin is a pleasure." I did not feel sa-
 
 558 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 tisfied, but I made no reply, and the day 
 arrived on which our guests were to visit 
 us. My husband, who had not break- 
 fasted with me, came into my room, when 
 I was dressing, and tying a string of pearls 
 of considerable value, round my neck, he 
 wished me health to wear them. Though 
 very sensible to the kindness of his inten- 
 tion, I was startled at the value of his pre- 
 sent, and while I thanked him, I looked 
 concerned. 
 
 ** Don't let their cost frighten you, 
 Helen," said he, " they were sent you 
 by Mrs. Forbin." 
 
 ** Bless me, my dear, how could you 
 allow me to accept things of so much 
 value ?" said I, " I shall, with your per- 
 mission, return them, for as we really can- 
 not afford to make presents, I am particu- 
 larly cautious not to receive them.'* 
 
 ** Indeed, child, you will not have my 
 permission/' said he, ** wear them in peace, 
 and be assured that the noble-minded 
 donor will never expect any return. Oh!
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 359 
 
 Helen, yon do not know and value that 
 extraordinary w.man as she deserves! 
 You would not deal with her as with 
 ordinary mortals! If you knew the way 
 in which she speaks of you, you would 
 clasp her to your heart, as the greatest 
 felesing" God ever sent you/' 
 
 " Not while my husband lives," said I, 
 burstinof into tears. 
 
 ** My dear girl, how this climate ener- 
 vates and weakens you," cried the Major, 
 " come, compose yourself, dry your eyes, 
 and wear your pearls, if it is only to keep 
 my diamond in countenance (at the same 
 time shewing me a valuable ring that Mrs. 
 Forbin had given him)." 
 
 " You may believe that this did not 
 please me more than the pearls had done, 
 and though I could not condescend to 
 be jealous of my husband's affections, I 
 thought them in danger. I began to see 
 that Mrs. Forbin's love of general admi- 
 ration would ensnare Major Orme, before 
 he was aware, as the lady had taken him
 
 360 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 by his weak side, and professing to feel 
 an extraordinary admiration for, and at- 
 tachment to, his wife, she was aiming at 
 securing all his attentions to herself. I 
 determined to watch her behaviour at 
 dinner, and I met my company for the 
 first time since my marriage, with a heart 
 oppressed with grief. Her conduct con- 
 vinced me that I was not mistaken. 
 Though surrounded by a host of admirers, 
 she had no eyes, no ears, but for him ; 
 and I was relieved when dinner was over, 
 from a state of great snfFering. As I 
 stood while the ladies were quitting the 
 room, a sudden faintness came over me, 
 and my husband, who was looking after 
 Mrs. Forbin, saw that I was ill. He 
 caught me as I was staggering to a seat, 
 and when I recovered, I found he was 
 uttering the most heartfelt lamentations 
 over me. I believe I smiled and pressed 
 his hand, for I heard Mrs. Forbin, in a 
 half-voice, say to him, " pretty little 
 dears, how tender the lovers are.''
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 361 
 
 " This produced ilie effect she desired : 
 the Major ceased '0 siippoit me ; he laid 
 me on the pillow, and quitted the room. 
 
 " These particulars may serve to shew 
 you the sort of torment 1 suffered during* 
 some months, and Mrs. Forbin at last 
 began to insult and try to irritate me on 
 every occasion ; but I felt that my husband 
 was in her power, and I acted with so 
 much circumspection, that she could not 
 with any reason teach him to despise me. 
 I remember once that she tried to vex me 
 by drawing a comparison between my 
 mental powers and her own, which cer- 
 tainly were very superior, but I only 
 smiled ; and when she at last called me 
 a mere automaton, I replied that I had 
 at least one virtue — I was not mischievous. 
 My husband was struck with my reply, 
 and rising from his seat, he took me un- 
 der his arm and left the house. Mrs. 
 Forbin acted a woman in despair very 
 well, but we did not turn back, and it 
 
 VOL. I. R
 
 562 HARDENBRASS AND IIAVERILL. 
 
 was two days before she renewed her 
 visits. 
 
 " When the time for the departure of the 
 Forbins arrived, I was excessively cha- 
 grined to find that they had delayed it, 
 as the lady declared herself convinced 
 that in her present state of health, so 
 long a voyage would be too much for 
 her. She was adored by her husband^ 
 who never contradicted her, and her 
 artifice was so great, that he thought her 
 «n exemplary wife. 
 
 ** More time elapsed, and at the end of 
 some months my husband told me that he 
 was sensible of his own error, and my 
 forbearance. " But, my dear girl," said 
 he, ** I confess that I have without con- 
 sulting you, borrowed money of Mr. 
 Forbin, and till I can discharge the 
 debt, I entreat you to bear with his wife. 
 Her influence over me is passed for ever ; 
 her magic has lost its force ; and I even 
 think she is transferripg it to another/'
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 56$ 
 
 <* I was too happy not to promise any 
 thing" the Major wished, and he went 
 soon after into the field, from whence he 
 returned safe and unhurt, 
 
 ** I was some years in India without 
 hearing any thing from my father, who 
 was too much occupied with his young 
 wife to have any thoughts to bestow oa 
 his daughter. At length the news of hii 
 death reached us, and we prepared to 
 return to England to claim my fortune, 
 which with my husband's half-pay would 
 be sufficient for our wishes. I was par- 
 ticularly anxious to see my sister, who 
 often wrote to me, and I pleased my 
 imagination with the idea of passing 
 many happy years with hei'. But an 
 event happened, that detained me in India, 
 ** We were dining with a friend previous 
 to our departure, which was already fixed, 
 when as we sat enjoying the cool breezes 
 on the lawn, a tiger suddenly darted 
 among us. I had an umbrella in my 
 hand, which I suddenly opened, and by 
 Xl2
 
 364 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 that means saved the life of one of the 
 party. One of the g-cntlemen had pistols, 
 and he discharged one in so unfortunate a 
 direction, that he wounded Major Oriiie, 
 while tiie tiger was pursued and slain. 
 
 " I will not give you the pain of listening 
 to a detail of both bodily and mental suf- 
 ferings : it was not long before I was a 
 widow; and a severe illness, occasioned 
 by grief and fatigue, prevented me from 
 quitting a country now become disagree- 
 able. I was in the house of a friend, to 
 whose cares and attentions I owe my life ; 
 and when T began again to mix in society, 
 she was solicitous to select such indivi- 
 duals as she thought best suited to my 
 taste and disposition. 
 
 ** By degrees'! regained my composure, 
 ^nd on my return to Europe, I took charge 
 of my friend's little girl, who was now too 
 old to remain in India. I found my sister 
 a fine young w^oman, under the care of a 
 celebrated governess, who kept an aca- 
 demy, my aunt beings dead ; and after
 
 HARDENBRASS AND UAVERILL. 365 
 
 claiming and taking- possession of my 
 fortune, I took my sister home, and com- 
 pleted her education, 
 
 " She was a charming girl, and during 
 the years we lived together, rendered me 
 very happy by her affection. When she 
 married, I left England with my little 
 charge, and took her to visit her father's 
 relations, who lived in Switzerland, I 
 found the child's health declining, and 
 wrote to request her parents not to delay 
 their voyage home, for I had received 
 intelligence that they purposed returning. 
 All my cares were, however, fruitless; 
 she died before their arrival ; and as I 
 found my residence at Lausanne very 
 agreeable, I remained there to receive 
 them. When they came, Mrs. St. Arno 
 was very ill ; and she did not long sur- 
 vive. But this was not the onlv stroke I 
 suffered. I was sununoned to England 
 to my sister, who died in the prime of 
 life, and about a year and a half after 
 that, I married Mr. St. Arno. 
 r3
 
 366 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 *• We lived on the Continent, and my 
 Anarella here, being almost an orphan, 
 and given to our care, we passed a great 
 part of our time in travelling. I need not 
 remind my niece that we had the misfor- 
 tune to lose our friend and kind compa- 
 nion about three years ago, and as I had 
 some business to settle in England, I chose 
 soon after to bring her here. We have 
 led a sort of wandering life 'tis true, but 
 it is not without a plan. 
 
 ** You may, perhaps, be curious to know 
 what became of my ancient lover and my 
 young mamma. She did not gratify my 
 father by bringing him an heir, but she 
 contrived to keep up his ho[x?s of one, 
 and he left her every sort of property he 
 could alienate from us. The Earl of 
 G — , who had taken my evident and 
 violent dislike very much to heart, lived 
 single some years; but, in less than a 
 year after my father*s death, his widow 
 became Couatess of G — , no doubt very 
 happy to have thus secured herself a title*
 
 H ARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 367 
 
 •* A life of dissipation put an end to her 
 existence a few months before the Earl 
 died. 
 
 " Yon see, Sir, that hke the rest of the 
 world, I have had my cares. I have novi^, 
 I think, bnt one,"' said she, looking ten- 
 derly at her niece, " and when that ceases, 
 I am, I trust, ready to resign my life, 
 thankful for the blessings I have enjoyed, 
 and that my trials have not been greater,'* 
 
 k4
 
 ( 368 ) 
 
 CHAP. XXXI. 
 
 Mrs, St. Arno displays some Philosophy. 
 
 Havertll expressed bis obligation lb 
 Mrs. St. Arno, for allowing' him to sbare 
 with her niece, in the pleasure of listen- 
 ing to the story of her trials. " They 
 have, I think, been severe enough," said 
 he, " and I cannot help admiring the hap- 
 py, natural disposition that enabled you 
 to bear them with so much equanimity. 
 Such a temperament is indeed a bless- 
 ing ! Would I could feel less ! Would I 
 could be composed as you are ! 
 
 *' My good friend,'' said Mis. St. 
 Arno, ** you talk as if my sufferings were 
 as recent as probably your's are, and as 
 if you were ignorant of the effects of 
 time. You will find a few years hence, 
 be they what they may, that you will be
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 369 
 
 able to relate what now distuibsyou with 
 as much composure as I have exhibited, 
 at least I hope you will/' 
 
 " It may be so," said Haverill," and I 
 hope it may ! if I am doomed to a long 
 life!" 
 
 '* It will, perhaps, be a happy life after 
 all,*' replied Mrs. St. Arno, ** but, as I do 
 not know the nature of your complaints, 
 I cannot judge how you are at present to 
 escape from tliem. I am not saying* this 
 by way of begging" to know, Sir, I will 
 wait, and though a woman, patiently." 
 
 So saying, Mrs. St. Arno rang for tea, 
 and left the room, that Haverill might not 
 be under the necessity of answering her. 
 As to him, he had relapsed into a fit of 
 abstraction, and had thrown himself upon 
 the sopha unmindful of Miss St. Ariio, 
 who sat in such a direction that she had a 
 full view of his countenance, and her i»en- 
 tle heart felt deeply for him. 
 
 ** His look, his manner, all tells that he 
 is more sinned against than sinning," said
 
 370 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILt. 
 
 she to herself, ** and I cannot but wonder^ 
 that any woman could use such a maa 
 ill. 1 think he grows handsomer every 
 day, and certainly more agreeable* 
 Well, we must stay in this neighbour- 
 hood, I suppose, a few days — we shall see 
 him again then ! he cannot be ungrate- 
 ful, and I am sure he must love my aunt \ 
 every body loves her \ I wander who the 
 lady was !" 
 
 These last words she unwittingly ut- 
 tered aloud, and in so earnest a voice, that 
 Haverill raised his head, and looking 
 steadily at her, said, ** If I could have told 
 you. Miss St. Arno, you would not have 
 had to ask now ! Have patience, have pa- 
 tience! a little, a very little while will 
 tell you all/' 
 
 " Bless me \ how could I be so incau^ 
 tious ?** said Anarella, " Believe me, sir f 
 to ask any thing about you, was very fac 
 from my intentions ! indeed it was !'' 
 
 To this, Haverill made no reply ; he had 
 again sunk into a* reverie, from which.
 
 H ARDENBRASS AND H A VERILL. 37 1 
 
 the entrance of the tea, and the return of 
 Mrs. St. Arno, disturbed him. 
 
 Broadhead said, the water got off 
 so fast, that he was in hopes the poor 
 beasts might drag the carriage up the hill 
 sooner than they had talked of, and this 
 news seemed to revive Mr. Ha- 
 verill ; he recovered himself sufficiently 
 to support an agreeable conversation 
 during the rest of the evening, and the 
 ladies, when they retired, left him seated 
 by the fire, with no companions but the 
 supper things, which Broadhead forgot 
 to fetch when he knew his mistress had 
 retired, and a fire pretty nearly extin- 
 guished. In this situation — but as what 
 befel him is more remarkable than any 
 thing we have yet recorded, we shall re- 
 serve it for a new chapter* 
 
 r6
 
 (372) 
 
 CHAP. XXXII. 
 
 A providential Reverie, and its extraordinary In- 
 terruption. — Mr. HaverilVs courageous Conduct, 
 and its Consequences. 
 
 JMLr. Haverill, as we related at the close 
 ofour last chapter, was left alone in the par- 
 lour at Rose Cottage, and the servants hav- 
 ing retreated to their beds, perfect stillness 
 soon pervaded the whole house. Ha- 
 verill, who had determined if possible to 
 sleep at C — the following night, sat 
 with his feet on the fender, and his eyes 
 fixed on the almost expiring' fire, engaged 
 in deep reflection, and his reverie M'as in- 
 terrupted only by the crackling noise the 
 cooling coals made, or the occasional 
 flashing of lumps of snow out of doors, 
 •which were disengaged from the roof of 
 the cottage, or the trees that surrounded 
 it.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 373 
 
 All was favourable to meditation, and 
 Haverill was so deeply engaged, that he 
 took no notice of the hours as they struck, 
 or of his candle that stood on the table be- 
 hind him, and seemed much inclined to 
 follow the example of the coals in the 
 grate, and be extinct. Haver ill's medi- 
 tation on his affaii's, led him to the con- 
 sideration of means of defence if he should 
 be attacked, and he felt strongly inclined 
 to go and load his pistols, that he might 
 not by any chance forget to do so on the 
 following day. But, a strong reluctance 
 to move, an extraordinary wakefulness 
 overcame his care for the morrow, and 
 turning his head to observe the candle, 
 which wanted his care very much, he 
 took notice that the supper things were 
 not removed. He took up the carving 
 knife, and poising it in his hand, he thought 
 to himself that a man, would need no bet- 
 ter defence if he were attacked. Again 
 the pistols were recollected, and he thought 
 he had better I'eraember to load them be-
 
 374 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 fore he went to bed. He laid the knife 
 down on the table close by him, and took 
 out his watch, which he wound up. He 
 was lighting abed candle in order to retire, 
 ■when he heard the dog, whose voice had 
 before been instrumental in saving his 
 life, by guiding him through the snow, 
 bark and howl tremendously. 
 
 "What can the matter be ?'* said he 
 to himself; " surely no one is robbing 
 poor Taffle ! If they are, this (taking up 
 the knife again) may be useful." The 
 dog was suddenly quiet, and Haverill 
 stood listening if there was any extraordi- 
 nary noise, as he would not go to bed till 
 he had ascertained that all was still. In 
 a very short time, which however appeared 
 a sufficiently long one to him, he thought 
 he heard steps approaching at the back 
 part of the premises ; and in a few seconds 
 he was certain he was not mistaken. It 
 seemed to him that there could not be less 
 than three or four people by the noise 
 their feet made in the wet gravel, and,
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 375 
 
 conceiving* the idea that the only hope of 
 safety for the whole family must be in at- 
 tacking them as they entered, he extin- 
 guished his candle, and waited for them 
 at the door of the parlour which opened 
 almost close to the back door, and from 
 whence he could make a blow at them 
 with the carving knife as they advanced, 
 Haverill was a man of great courage, 
 and we beg leave to assure our readers, 
 that on this occasion he waited for the 
 enemy with all the coolness and determi- 
 nation any hero either of ancient or modern 
 times could have done. The door was 
 opened very cautiously and quietly, as it 
 appeared with a key, and no opposing 
 bolts had been drawn to keep out unwel- 
 come intruders. As it was pushed back 
 he heard the person advancing first say 
 to the others, *• Give me the lantern, I 
 will shew you the room, but don't disturb 
 the w^omen." He recognized the voice 
 of Mr. TafBe, and, as he advanced, he 
 made a cut at the lower part of his body
 
 376 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 with the knife, which did its duty, for 
 Taffle fell uttering- a groan, and the light 
 fell too. The person who was following 
 Taffle had not seen HaverilTs arm either 
 in giving the stroke or withdrawing his 
 weapon, and he came forward to pick up 
 the dark lantern, hoping, probably, that 
 the light was not out, or might be blown 
 in again. Haverill struck at random ; 
 but he found, by an exclamation, that he 
 had wounded the second man, whether 
 dangerously or not he could not guess. 
 And now a sort of scuffle ensued, for the 
 man last hurt seized our hero, who disen- 
 gaged his fighting arm and his weapon^ 
 and made another cut at his opponent, 
 who, if Haverill had been in strong health, 
 would have been no match for him. At 
 the same moment the man from behind 
 discharged a pistol, which happily missed 
 our hero, and lodged its contents in the 
 body of his opponent. He loosed his hold 
 on Haverill, and exclaimed, " D — n you ' 
 you have shot me.'*
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. S77 
 
 Haverill retreated within the parlour 
 door, and found that his knife, having- met 
 with some hard substance, was bent, he 
 straightened it again with his foot, while 
 a second pistol was fired towards him, for 
 though he had not spoken, his movements 
 were not so still, but they in some measure 
 directed the enemy. It grazed his shoul- 
 der as he was rising, and he again aimed 
 a blow in the direction the pistol came 
 from. "D — n this dead villain! we are 
 betrayed!" said the same voice that had 
 spoken before, <*we must retreat," He 
 then attempted to rise, in which he was 
 assisted by one of the men that followed 
 him, at least so Haverill conjectured, and 
 he again aimed a blow, which he found 
 had wounded the third man. The fellow 
 uttered a muttered oath, and, leaving to 
 his comrade to help out their leader, and 
 drag out Taffle, which the other wounded 
 man commanded, he grappled witli Ha- 
 verill, and even succeeded in wresting the 
 knife from him. At that moment the as-
 
 378 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL 
 
 sailants fired a third pistol, which wounded 
 their comrade, who let fall the knife, and 
 staggered after his companions, who had 
 by this time reached the outside of the 
 door. 
 
 Haverill lost no time in closing it after 
 them, and securing it by two large bolts, 
 which had been previously left open. He 
 would have pursued them if he had had 
 any assistance, but, though three pistols 
 had been fired, and the exclamations of the 
 men had been loud enough to be heard by 
 a part of the family, nobody came down 
 to him, and he began to fear Broadhead 
 was in the secret. 
 
 In this, however, he was mistaken. 
 That illustrious character had entertained 
 Mr. TaflSie in the kitchen that evening, 
 and had imbibed a more than double por- 
 tion of ale. This rendered him so drowsy, 
 that if the people Mr. Taffle piloted had 
 met with no more opposition than he was 
 prepared to give them, they might have 
 ransacked the house at leisure. Spite of
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 379 
 
 the noise, he continued snoring in his bed, 
 unconscious of the companion fate or fear 
 had sent him, who was no other than the 
 fair Mrs. Dunn. That tender maiden no 
 sooner heard the report of a pistol, than 
 she leapt from her bed, and running to 
 the nearest place of refuge, she entered 
 Broadhead*s room, and crept into his beil 
 where she fainted, and thus failed to dis- 
 turb him. 
 
 But, this chapter having* been a very 
 active and laborious one, we feel our- 
 selves inclined to lay down the pen, and 
 recruit our spirits, before we describe 
 what passed at Rose Cottage after th« 
 bloody fight of the carving knife*
 
 ( 380 ) 
 
 CHAP. XXXIII. 
 
 What happened at the Cottage after the Battle, 
 And a new Bond* 
 
 As soon as Haverill had fastened the 
 door,he sought for his fallen knife, and hav» 
 ing found it, be entered the parlour, and 
 taking the candle in his hand, groped \m 
 way to tha kitchen, v^hero thara wa^ yet 
 fira enough left to light it again, though 
 not without some little trouble. On his 
 return to the passage, he saw, by the 
 quantity of blood that remained, that his 
 adversaries must have been severely 
 wounded, and as he conjectured that Mrs. 
 and Miss St. Arno were detained in their 
 room by fear, he went to the door and 
 tapped gently with his finger. No an- 
 swer was returned, and he then called to 
 them, assuring them they were safe, and 
 begging to be admitted.
 
 HARDENBRASS ANI> IIAVERILL. S81 
 
 The door was opened by Mrs. St 
 Arno, who started back with horror when 
 she saw our hero's figure. His face, his 
 hands, and his garments, were much 
 stained with blood ; his wig and his neck- 
 cloth had been torn off in the scuffle ; in 
 one hand he carried the bloody knife, and 
 in the other the candle. 
 
 Mrs. St Arno started back with horror 
 when she saw him, while Anarella stood 
 with her hands firmly clasped in the mid- 
 dle of the room, and as he began to as- 
 sure her aunt that the danger was over, 
 she exclaimed in a voice almost inarticu- 
 late from emotion, " Then you are not 
 w^ounded ! Thank God !" 
 
 "I hardly know whether I am or not," 
 replied Haverill, " but I fear your man is 
 not to be trusted ! have you courage to 
 accompany me to his room ? the way in 
 which he receives us will tell much ! if 
 indeed we find him there.** 
 ^ " We must have courage !'' said Mrs. 
 St. Arno, and they all three entered
 
 382 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Broadhead*s room, where they found him 
 snoring* away very comfortably. Ha- 
 verill held the candle to his face to ascer- 
 tain whether his sleep was real or feigned, 
 and the strong light coming just at the 
 time the effects of the ale were diminish- 
 ing, he began to rub his eyes, and at last 
 opened them. No sooner did he perceive 
 our hero such as we have described him, 
 thanfancying that it was a murderer, come 
 to demand first his money and then his 
 life, he attempted to rise from his bed, 
 and would have jumped on the floor, but 
 he felt himself held by the legs. His 
 fear was now redoubled, for he imagined 
 it was the devil in person who was as- 
 sisting his enemies, and he yelled with 
 fright. 
 
 At the same moment that he sat like a 
 maniac at one end of the bed, the face of 
 .Mrs. Dunn appeared at the other, divested 
 of all adventitious ornament, for she had 
 lost her nightcap, and her red hair hunjf 
 about in perfect disorder.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 383 
 
 She had just recovered her senses, and 
 the first use she made of them, was to 
 play the treble of a scream to Broad- 
 head's yell. It was in vain that Mrs. St. 
 Arno endeavoured to pacify them ! in 
 vain that she demanded of Dunn how she 
 came there ! The screaming continued, 
 and at last Haverill, who began to feel 
 faint, said the best way was to leave 
 them. To this, the ladies, however un- 
 willing, were under the necessity of con- 
 senting, and they turned all their atten- 
 tion to succouringf their defender, 
 
 Mrs. St. Arno examined his shoulder, 
 and as the wound appeared a trifle, and 
 the bullet had merely grazed him, she 
 bandaged it up for him in a very expert 
 way, while Anarella went down stairs to 
 fetch a cordial, which her aunt insisted on 
 his swallowing. The readier may easily 
 imagine Miss St. Arno's sensations at the 
 sight of the scene of action, and perhaps, 
 nothing but the idea of saving a life by 
 procuring what was, or seemed to be, ab-
 
 384 haRdenbrass and haverill. 
 
 solutely necessary, could have induced 
 her to g-o through the passage. Having*, 
 however, got what she went in search of, 
 she returned to her friends, who saw her 
 horror in her countenance. 
 
 " Oh, Sir ! dear Sir ! what a scene !" 
 cried she to Haverill, " How eternally 
 grateful must we be to you for saving us 
 from such wretches ! What should we 
 have done if you had left us ? 
 
 «' Perhaps," said Haverill, " they would 
 not have attacked you, if I had not been 
 here/' 
 
 ** How so ?'' asked both ladies at 
 once. 
 
 " One of them, Mhoni by his voice I 
 knew to be Taffle," replied Haverill, 
 ** said he would shew them the room, but 
 begged they would not disturb the wo- 
 men ; from which I conjecture that I must 
 have been the object of attack, as there 
 was no other room but yours and those 
 of the servants.'* 
 
 ** But why should any body attack 
 4
 
 KARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 385 
 
 you?'* asked Mrs. St. Arno, " they must 
 surely have designed to murder as well 
 as rob you!'* 
 
 " Probably,'" replied Haverill, fixing 
 his eyes with a look of ferocity not at all 
 natural to him on Anarella, ** probably 
 murder was their sole aim ! but, this time 
 he is disappointed/* 
 
 The ladies looked the question *< Who ?" 
 but they neither of them spoke, and Ha^ 
 verill did not gratify their curiosity : he 
 said he would go and wash himself, and 
 would return to them as soon as he was 
 clean to consult upon the measures to be 
 pursued. 
 
 The first thing he did when he reached 
 his room was to load his pistols, he then 
 looked at himself in the glass, and he 
 could not but own, that his appearance 
 was enough to make even a bold roan 
 start. He almost started himself, and 
 could not help admiring the sort of watch- 
 fulness that had prevented him from re- 
 tiring to rest, and the extraordinary fa- 
 
 VOL. X, S
 
 386 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 tality of the supper things being left con- 
 trary to the general custom. " Had I 
 pursued my usual habit," said he to him- 
 self, " I should have been in bed, naked 
 and defenceless, and thus have fallen a 
 victim before I had revenged my wrongs/* 
 He then tried to recollect where it was 
 he had heard the voice of the second man 
 who spoke, but in vain ! He could not 
 find any connecting link in his mind, 
 thouo^h he was certain the voice was not 
 unknown to him. As soon as he had 
 washed himself and changed his linen, he 
 determined, that before he went back to 
 the ladies, he would descend and view 
 the passa*^e, and examine again if the 
 doors were safe. He accordingly did so, 
 and wondered anew at his escape, when 
 he perceived the narrow field on which 
 the action had passed. Perhaps, how- 
 ver, that very circumstance saved him ; 
 for, the passage being narrow, he could 
 not well fail to reach any object he struck 
 at. The floor was much covered with
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 387 
 
 folood ; and even the walls were stained 
 with it. His own wig and cravat were 
 lying" near the door, as if dragged there 
 by the weight of Taffle's body, which in 
 its retreat had passed over them ; and 
 there was besides a silver mounted pis- 
 tol ; it had two barrels, and both had 
 been recently discharged. 
 
 Haverill was going away to wash the 
 blood off the pistol, when he perceived 
 something like a stick, which, upon in. 
 spection, proved to be a black leather 
 case or sheath, out of which he drew a 
 knife, with a short thick handle, and a 
 very broad, sharp, two-edged blade. 
 
 ** And this, doubtless was my portion !'* 
 said he to himself, " Let him who sent it, 
 beware !" 
 
 When Mr. Haverill had washed both 
 his prizes in the kitchen, where he 
 thought proper to renew the fire, he was 
 preparing to return to the ladies, when he 
 thought he heard some one approaching. 
 He listeaed with some alarm, for he 
 S2
 
 588 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 imagined that though but three or four 
 had entered the house, there were pro- 
 bably more of the company in the neigh- 
 bourhood. This time, however, he had 
 nothing to fear, for it was only Ana- 
 rella. 
 
 *' My dear Miss St. Arno !" said Ha- 
 verill, in a sort of reproachful tone, " Is it 
 you ? How could you come down again ?" 
 
 ** My aunt sent me," replied she, gasp- 
 ing with terror, " We have been listening 
 this last quarter of an hour, to some move- 
 ments without doors, at the front of the 
 house. There are several feet, and my 
 aunt thinks at least two horses. My 
 aunt wishes you would come. For pity's 
 sake,'' continued she, " don't leave us 
 any more ! we shall die with fright !" 
 
 Ilaverill perceived that she could 
 hardly stand or support herself, and 
 though he had but little strength to 
 spare, he allowed her to lean on his arm, 
 and her head fell on his shoulder. Then 
 suddenly raising it, and releasing his
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 389 
 
 arm, " How selfish !" said she, *' How 
 could I for a moment forget your wound ? 
 How you must hate me !'* 
 
 " No, never ! dear Miss St. Arno ! 
 never !" replied Haverill, " Affliction has 
 knit a bond between us, that I feel, spite 
 of my dislike to your sex, can never be 
 broken. Come, lean on me ! you don't 
 hurt me ! it is my right shoulder that is 
 hurt. Come ! let us make haste to your 
 dear and valuable aunt." 
 
 " Never ?" repeated Anarella, with a 
 voice of pleasure ; then accepting his 
 proffered arm, they returned together to 
 Mrs. St. Arno, Anarella weeping bitterly 
 all the time, to her own great relief and 
 the satisfaction of her companion, who 
 began to think that fear had disturbed her 
 senses ! 
 
 S3
 
 ( 390 ) 
 
 CHAP. XXXIV. 
 
 More Particulars of what happened at Rose Cot* 
 tage, 
 
 ** I HAVE been listening/' said the old 
 lady, " and while Anarella had the light, 
 I peeped through the ^'iindow-shutter. 
 They are gone through the wood, the di- 
 rect road to Pont-y-V — , and probably 
 hope to pass through there unperceived 
 at this early hour/' 
 
 *< Could you see them ?'* asked Ha- 
 verill. 
 
 ** I saw their light, and a horse with 
 two men on it, one supporting the other. 
 This was probably tlie wounded man,"' 
 replied the old lady. "The man who 
 carried the lantern rode on another horse 
 before them."
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 391 
 
 ** Then what have they done with Taf- 
 fle?" I'm certain I killed him!" said 
 Haverill ; " I could not be mistaken in 
 that groan." 
 
 " I should imagine from the time that 
 has elapsed since their retreat, that they 
 may have thrown his body from a tre- 
 mendous precipice there is near the road 
 you came, behind the house," replied the 
 old lady ; I cannot otherwise account for 
 the delay." 
 
 " Probably !"said Haverill, " I wish I 
 had thought of that ! I might have found 
 the wounded man alone. If Broadhead 
 could be roused, we might yet pursue 
 them and ascertain — " 
 
 " Ob, for God's sake forbear !" said 
 Anarella ^ " Why should you run into 
 danger?" 
 
 " Why should I not ?" said Haverill, 
 " Can it signify what becomes of a wretch 
 like me!" 
 
 " They are gone now," cried Mrs. St. 
 Arno," and I doubt not we are for this 
 s4
 
 :]gQ, UARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 night safe. As soon as it is day, I shall 
 make Broadhead put to the horses, and 
 we will leave the spot with all possible 
 speed. I certainly cannot admit Taffle's 
 wife or daughter again, and as the cir- 
 cumstances are very mysterious, I intend 
 to impart tliem to a magistrate at Pont- 
 y-V — , and swear to my deposition. We 
 can lock up the house, and the landlord 
 shall receive his full rent for the quarter, 
 this will reconcile him to the state we 
 leave it in." 
 
 Haverill seemed to approve her plan, 
 and he then shewed her the pistol and the 
 knife, which he desired her to examine, 
 that she might be able, as well as himself^ 
 to swear to them on any future occasion. 
 The knife appeared quite new, with a 
 common bone handle, on which was 
 marked the price in ink. The pistol was, 
 as we said before, silver mounted, and 
 had a cypher engraved on it, which was 
 so intricately contrived, and in one part 
 so nearly obliterated, that had not Ha-
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 39 S 
 
 verill's strong* suspicions assisted his vi- 
 sion, he would not have been able to 
 guess what it was. These suspicions, 
 however, he did not communicate to his 
 companions, but after having submitted 
 the weapons to their inspection, he put 
 them along with the carving knife in his 
 own portmanteau, and then by the desire 
 of Mrs. St. Arno, he went again into 
 Broadhead's room, to try to persuade 
 him to rise and assist the ladies in pack- 
 ing what belonged to them. 
 
 He found the poor man lying on his 
 back as helpless as if he had lost the use 
 of his limbs, with his eyes staring, strong 
 marks of profound fear on his counte- 
 nance, and uttering short and smothered 
 groans, as if exhausted by his former 
 exertions. Mrs. Dunn, whose whole 
 weight lay on his legs, had her head 
 thrust out at the lower corner of the bed, 
 and might very well have passed for a 
 maniac, from her wild and terrified looks, 
 her long dishevelled hair, and the rapid 
 S5
 
 594 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 way in which she incessantly repeated, 
 ^* He has killed me, he has killed me ! 
 oh !" 
 
 Haverill walked up to the bed, and 
 exhorted Broadhead to get up. " The 
 danger is over," said he, " get up di- 
 rectly, your mistress has occasion for 
 you." " Oh ! I shall never get up a- 
 gain ! no, never !" groaned the poor 
 man. 
 
 " Why what is the matter ?'' asked 
 Haverill. 
 
 *' I'm killed !" replied Broadhead. 
 
 " Killed ! by whom ?'' said Haverill, 
 putting the candle nearer him to see his 
 face the better, 
 
 ^* By the bloody murderer as came to 
 iloforme!'' cried Broadhead. 
 
 " This is mere fright,*' replied our hero 
 calmly, " nobody has been in your room 
 but myself and your mistress, and I insist 
 on your getting up directly." 
 
 " Oh ! I can't sir ! I shall never get 
 up no more !" was all the answer Ha-
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. $95 
 
 Terill could get. It was in vain that he 
 assured Broadhead that the danger was 
 past, that the murderer had never been 
 up stairs, that he could not possibly be 
 hurt, and that he must get up ; the only 
 answer he could extort, was " I'm a dead 
 man !"' or a loud groan. 
 
 He then tried his eloquence on Mrs. 
 Dunn, whose face rested on the bed-stock. 
 She raised it to look at Haverill, still re- 
 peating ** He has killed me ! oh V* ** My 
 good woman,^^ said Haverill, " you are 
 not hurt ! pray do leave this room and go 
 to your v>wn ."" 
 
 " Aye, I knows vat for you villain V 
 cried Dunn. 
 
 " Only to dress yourself," said Ha- 
 verill, " your lady is up and wants you.'* 
 
 *' No, it is not to dress myself, it is to 
 bury me; you know you want to hide 
 me ! I know you though you have a v ashed 
 your face ! you^'e killed me you murdering 
 villain, you know you have, oh !'* 
 
 "Killed you Dunn! why don't you 
 2
 
 396 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 know you're alive and talking?'* saicJ 
 Haverill rather impatiently, ** this is the 
 absurdest idea I ever heard of! are you? 
 mad ?" " No, I'm not mad, you mur- 
 derous thief! I'm a dead v^oman ! I shall 
 aever be alive! I shall never talk na 
 more !" ** When that comes to pass,*' 
 said HaverilU ** I shall believe you are a 
 dead woman ; in the mean time, I bring* 
 you an order from your mistress to come 
 to her directly, and if you do not you will 
 be left here, that's all." So saying, he 
 lighted Bxoadhead's candle and placed 
 it on the drawers, and then returned ta 
 assist Mrs. St. Arno in filling the chaise 
 seat and the boot box. But, now that the 
 cause for fear was over, and her agitation 
 had subsided, that good lady found tha 
 bad effects of the fright she had had; 
 she vs^as obliged to lie down on the bed, 
 and Anarella and Haverill undertook to 
 make all the preparations for their de- 
 parture. 
 
 Before seven o'clock every thing was
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 3d7 
 
 ready, and Anarella prepared breakfast 
 with a promptitude, and an expertness 
 that convinced Haverill, she was not only 
 qualified to amuse, but to be useful ta 
 society. Her natural tenderness of dis- 
 position, was heightened by the distress- 
 ing circumstances in which her aunt was 
 placed, and anxiety for that beloved friend 
 seemed to swallow up every other care. 
 The solicitude she had shewn for Ha- 
 verill was now forgotten ! She bent every 
 nerve to forward her Aunt's departure, or 
 procure her something to relieve her, and 
 during the whole time not a selfish mur- 
 mur or exclamation escaped her. 
 
 The first impression she had made on 
 Haverill, had, from some painful associa- 
 tion in his own mind, been one of dislike j 
 the second, almost a contemptuous one I 
 for he had mistaken the buoyant gaiety 
 of a young and innocent mind for a sort 
 of unfeeling levity, and not considering 
 that strangers cannot be expected to sym- 
 pathize deeply with woes they can only
 
 398 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 guess at, he had imagined her proud and 
 hard hearted. 
 
 The change in Anarella's manner, and 
 even in her health, which had given so 
 much concern to her aunt, had rendered 
 her particularly interesting to Haverill, 
 and as she had a fund of good sense and 
 solid information, he found her, though a 
 woman, a desirable companion. Even 
 her wit and gaiety, when excited into 
 action by her aunt's natural lively dispo- 
 sition, were no longer displeasing to him, 
 and he could not help owning to himself, 
 that the noble-minded confidence both 
 ladies had shewn in his honour and ho- 
 nesty, ia spite of the suspicious appear- 
 ance the concealment of his name pro- 
 duced, had created in his mind a respect 
 and even a grateful affection for them 
 that could never be obliterated. This 
 affection was, however, equally warm to 
 the aunt as to the niece, anci had any 
 body suggested to him that he mioht 
 ever be brought to feel a preference of a
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 399 
 
 tenderer nature for Anarella, he would 
 have replied " My esteem and gratitude 
 would induce me to suffer any thing to 
 serve her, but my heart is for ever im- 
 pervious to that degrading passion that 
 makes us the slaves of the least worthy 
 and weakest part of the creation, and 
 induces us to trust our honour and hap- 
 piness to the caprice of a being, who lives 
 only to the pleasures of the moment, and 
 whose sole motive is selfish indulgence/' 
 Such would have been Mr. Haverill's 
 answer, and his sincere opinion and feel- 
 ing at the time we are speaking of ^ but 
 as we are aware that such opinions may 
 prejudice him in the minds of our fair 
 readers, we hasten to other matters, and 
 beg them not to condemn him till they 
 have heard his story. 
 
 Anarella's present behaviour pleased 
 him, and the more, because her feelings 
 were in unison with his own, for he had 
 forgotten self in the pleasure of being 
 ;actively useful to his benefactress.
 
 ( 400 ) 
 
 CHAP. XXXY. 
 
 A last Breakfast. — Friendship, — Co7iJectures and 
 Suspicions. — A Departure. 
 
 The three friends took their breakfast 
 together for the last time, in Mrs. St» 
 Arno's room, for their hearts revolted at 
 the idea of going down to eat, and as 
 they sat, they debated on what would be 
 the most efficacious way to coax Duna 
 from her hiding-place. 
 
 « When she is once pacified,^' said Mrs.. 
 St. Arno, " and persuaded to retire. 
 Broad head will get up. Poor creature ! 
 I dare say the firing of the pistols made 
 her seek shelter in the first inhabited 
 room she found, I have no doubt in the 
 world, that w:as the reason of her being 
 found in Broadhead's room." 
 
 " And very natural too/' said Anarell%
 
 HARDENER ASS AND HAVERILL. 401 
 
 " if I had been alone, I should have rim 
 to call our friend here." 
 
 " I think I will go myself," said Mrs, 
 St. Arno, " by this time they are proba- 
 bly more composed, and as we cannot 
 stir without Broadhead, it is absolutely 
 necessary to rouse them." 
 
 " As soon as he is up to protect the 
 house," said our hero ; but he was here 
 interrupted by a smile from Anarella, who 
 said, " You jest, Sir ! poor Broadhead 
 will never protect even himself ! but I 
 beg your pardon, what were you about 
 to say ?" 
 
 Haverill, who seemed now to know 
 Anarella, and no longer attributed her 
 smiles to levity, smiled in his turn, and, 
 proceeded to say, that he thought it 
 would be proper to go to the cottage and 
 see in what state the Taffies were. In 
 this Mrs. St. Arno agreed with him, and 
 while that good lady went to conquer the 
 fear of her domestics, our hero remained 
 conversing with Anarella.^
 
 4021 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 ** This is probably the last time, my 
 dear Miss St. Arno," said he, ** that I 
 shall have the happiness of a private in- 
 terview v^'ith you ; and I must make use 
 of it to express the deep sense I have of 
 the exceeding- generosity, kindness, hu- 
 manity, and even tenderness, with which 
 I have been treated, during my residence 
 here, I should have expressed this to 
 your admirably noble-minded aunt, but 
 1 fear her nerves are already too much 
 harassed, and as you seem to have but 
 one soul between you, I am persuaded, 
 that you will repicseat my ^>endments to 
 her, even more favourably than I could 
 express them iT^yself. You have saved 
 my life ! a thing I little value ! had that 
 been ail, I should, it is true, have felt 
 obliged for the intention : but you have 
 done more ! you have shewn me that 
 women may be noble minded and gener- 
 ous, and have bound me to you for ever, 
 by an honorable arid unsuspicious con- 
 duct, that has made an impression on my
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 403 
 
 soul, which, perhaps, even death may 
 not obliterate.'* 
 
 ^* Oh, Sir ! what obligations we have 
 to you!" interrupted the sobbing Ana- 
 rella, " to-night ! think of to-night ! I 
 shall ever regard you as the preserver of 
 my aunt, without you she would have 
 fallen a sacrifice to villains, and if I had 
 survived such a stroke, I should have 
 been the most forlorn and miserable of 
 human beings ! No, Sir ! I shall never 
 cease to, to, to feel, the strongest, the 
 warmest gratitude to you.'* 
 
 " I believe you,*' said Haverill, view- 
 ing her sparkling eyes, and animated 
 countenance, with a pleasure he had never 
 before felt, ** from my soul I believe you! 
 Your soul shines in your face, and if 
 likeness could create or constitute re- 
 lationship, I would say it is my sister. 
 Unsuspicious, generous, confiding! Oh! 
 may it never be wrecked as mine has 
 been ! For your sake I will cease to hate
 
 404 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 your sex, and not think, at least, I will 
 try not to think all women — naught/* 
 
 He then rose from his seat, and taking 
 Anarella's trembling hand, he pressed it 
 respectfully to his lips. 
 
 " We shall part at Pont-y-V , Miss 
 
 St. Arno," continued he, " and I will, 
 therefore^ m)w take leave of you, while 
 there are no impertinent witnesses to 
 misconstrue emotions, too pure, and too 
 exalted for the understandings of the 
 multitude^ Whether I live or not, I beg 
 you to remember me ! You shall know 
 my whole unhappy story, and in the 
 hour of death it will be a pleasure to me 
 to reflect, that the two beings I honor 
 will recollect me with kindness." Ana- 
 rella was so surprised and overpowered, 
 that she returned no answer, but by 
 smiling through her tears, and Haverill, 
 taking from his pocket a small case, which 
 contained a pearl hoop, and a valuable 
 diamond ring, said, that he hoped she
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 405 
 
 and her aunt would not refuse him the 
 favor of wearing" them. 
 
 Anarella had put her handkerchief to 
 her eyes, to conceal the violence of her 
 emotion. Haverill put the pearl hoop 
 on her finger, and closing" the case, left 
 it, with its contents, in her disengaged 
 hand. 
 
 Their attention was then called to the 
 encreasing noise in Broadhead's room,' 
 and they hastened there together. But 
 what was Anarella's distress at seeing 
 Dunn with one hand fixed on Broad- 
 head's throat, and the other employed in 
 bestowing sundry cuffs on the prostrate 
 coachman. Mrs. St. Arno was endea- 
 vouring to appease her, but in vain, and 
 Haverill seeing, that nothing but force 
 would do, seized the enraged fair, and 
 placed her on the floor. Her mistress 
 and Anarella then threw the counterpane 
 over her, and hurried her, talking like 
 a maniac all the while, into her own 
 room, where they obliged her to dress 
 4
 
 406 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERTLL. 
 
 herself and pack up her clothes, and Ha- 
 verill persuaded Broadhead to do the 
 same. He could not, however, prevail 
 on him to tell how the affray began, and 
 as neither of the parties ever confessed it, 
 we cannot oblige our readers with com- 
 municating it. 
 
 A good deal of time was consumed 
 before the dome&tics were ready, and 
 then they would have had no breakfast, 
 if Anarella had not set it before them. 
 Broadhead was bid to go and feed and 
 harness his horses, but no commands, nor 
 entreaties could prevail on him to ven* 
 ture out without a companion, and as 
 there did not appear to be any reason to 
 fear a lurking ^nemy, Anarella agreed to 
 stay in the house with Dunn, while her 
 aunt accompanied Haverill to Taffle's 
 cottage. They first, however, escorted 
 Broadhead to the stable, where having 
 living companions in his horses, he seem* 
 ed reconciled to be left, and they then 
 knocked at the door of the cottage. It
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 407 
 
 was in vain that they knocked and called, 
 no answer was given ! all the windows 
 were closed, and they had every reason 
 to believe that the family had migrated 
 in the night. 
 
 By the appearance of the ground Ha- 
 verill conjectured, that there must have 
 been more than two horses, and on the 
 step of the cottage, as well as on that of 
 Mrs. St. Arno's, were large marks of 
 blood. Every circumstance of this affair, 
 particularly^the removal of Taffle's family 
 convinced Haverill, that he was right in 
 his suspicions, but he did not communicate 
 them to his companion, and they returned 
 to Anarella and her troublesome charge, 
 to wait till Broadhead should bring the 
 carriage. They were ready to depart, 
 when they saw a person approaching on 
 horseback, and to her great relief, Mrs. 
 St. Arno discovered it to be her landlord. 
 He was a respectable man, and remem- 
 bering the inconveniences his former 
 tenants had suffered from a similar state
 
 40B HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 of weather, he had that morning' mount- 
 ed his horse to ride to Rose cottage, 
 and inquire after the present occu- 
 pants. 
 
 He was thunderstruck at the state the 
 house was in, and at the relation Mrs. 
 St. Arno gave him, and professed him- 
 self at a loss to guess what could have 
 become of the Taffies. He, however, 
 declared his intention to cause the strict- 
 est inquiry to be made into the affair, 
 and requested to see the gentleman vi- 
 sitor, who had so bravely defended the 
 ladies. Mrs. St. Arno, who seemed to 
 know how unpleasant the interview would 
 be to Haverill, excused his not appearing, 
 by saying that he was wounded, and 
 could not be disturbed, and she then paid 
 her rent, and delivered up every thing* to 
 the landlord, who on his part made no 
 offer of abatement, but observed, it might 
 be a sad business for him, as the house 
 would get a bad name, and next year, 
 perhaps, be without a tenant.
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 409 
 
 And now the carriage being at the 
 door, Miss St. Arno and Broadhead put 
 in the small parcels, and the landlord 
 helped him with the boxes; then Ana- 
 rella went up stairs to summon Haverill 
 and Dunn. Haverill, with his hat drawn 
 over his eyes, a large silk handkerchiei 
 tied over his chin, and his great coat 
 close buttoned, to conceal the marks of 
 blood on his garments, instantly obeyed, 
 and handing Mrs. St. Arno into the car- 
 riage, he stood waiting for Anarella. 
 Anarella, however, came not, and he 
 stepped back into the passage to see what 
 detained her : he found her on the lowest 
 stair, holding the hand of Mrs. Dunn, and 
 attempting to drag her forward, while 
 that good lady pulled back with all her 
 strength. 
 
 " For heaven's sake, come along, 
 Dunn!" said Anarella; ''my aunt is 
 waiting for you; the blood can't hurt 
 you." 
 
 VOL. I. T
 
 410 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 " La ! Miss, I never can cross he ! I 
 shid die! I shid die vor sure!" replied 
 Dunn. 
 
 " How absurd !" cried Anarella : ** how 
 should the blood hurt you ? I have passed 
 over it half a dozen times, and it has not 
 hurt me ; pray, don't be such a fool." 
 
 " Fool or not fool, Miss Starno, I shan't 
 go to cross he," said Dunn ; ** arid it's 
 not hartin^ you goes vor nathing." 
 
 ** Well !" said Anarella ; " then I must 
 leave you, for my aunt is waiting in the 
 carriage : you must find your way to 
 
 Pont-y-V as you can." So saying, 
 
 she let go her hand, and darting forward, 
 gave her own to Haverill, who led her to 
 the carriage. 
 
 There was but one horror greater than 
 crossing the passage, that was staying 
 behind ; so Dunn darted after her young 
 mistress, but forgetting that she had two 
 steps to go down, she fell, and made her 
 nose bleed profusely. Her mistress waited
 
 HARDENER ASS AND HAVERILL. 41 1 
 
 till she had washed her face, and she 
 then mounted the barouche seat, and the 
 carriage, preceded by the landlord on 
 
 horseback, took the road to Pont-y-V . 
 
 It was near eleven o'clock before they 
 began their journey, and the dreadful and 
 almost impassable road they had to go, 
 made it imjDossible for the horses to pro- 
 ceed at more than a walking pace. More 
 than once they were afraid that the car- 
 riage could not be dragged forward, and 
 Broadhead, in his heart, cursed his mis- 
 tress, for letting her own poor cattle have 
 such work, when there were others to 
 hire. At last, when they were very near 
 the turning, that would have brought 
 them into the direct road, the horses 
 stood still, and Haverill began to fear 
 that the extent of his journey that day 
 would be to his old quarters. The land- 
 lord, who rode a tolerable horse, now of- 
 fered to ride on, and send another pair of 
 horses, when Haverill said, if he would 
 allow him to take his horse on to Pont- 
 T 2
 
 412 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 y-V , it would be a great convenience 
 
 to him, and the ladies would be happy in 
 his protection in the meanwhile. To 
 this, flattered by the implied compliment 
 from people so much his superiors, he 
 with many bows consented, and Haverill, 
 pressing the hands of his two female 
 friends to his lips, bid them adieu with 
 great emotion, and mounting the land- 
 lord's horse, he slung his portmanteau 
 across his shoulders, and made the best 
 
 of his way to Pont-y-V— ; where he 
 
 arrived in safety, and whence he imme- 
 diately dispatched a pair of horses to re- 
 lieve his companions. He then himself 
 got into a post-chaise, and took the road 
 
 to C , driven by the same postillion 
 
 who had before attended him, and who, 
 recollecting the night in which he had 
 parted from him, was in some doubt 
 whether it was a man or a spirit he was 
 conducting.
 
 ( 413 ) 
 
 CEIAP. XXXVI. 
 
 what befel Mrs. St. Arn6 and her Niece, and an 
 Introduction to the Marquis of Hardenbrass. 
 
 UsiNli the privilege of authors, that of 
 choosing- which way they will travel, and 
 shewing tlie preference alivays due to the 
 female sex, of whose witching" influence 
 \^'e hftVe been in 6iit life-time but too sen- 
 sible, we will leave M/\ Haverill to pur- 
 sue his joUrney to H-— , and follow Mrs. 
 and Miss St. Arno. 
 
 Shiveritig With cold and a little with 
 apprehension, they remained where he 
 had left them, and w^re at last joined by 
 the boy with the post horses, who after 
 many eflbrts succeeded in moving the car- 
 riage and releasing the ladies. They 
 w^nt on in safety till they bad reached 
 the high road, and the postillion, undep 
 t3
 
 414 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 the idea of making a pusli, fairly over- 
 turned the carriage, and pitched poor 
 Dunn almost up to her neck in a ditch. 
 
 Happily, though much frightened, the 
 ladies were not materially hurt, and their 
 honest landlord opened the door as well 
 as he could, and was proceeding to assist 
 them, when an equipage from Rhanvellyn 
 approached, and stopped just before it 
 reached them. 
 
 The Marquis of Hardenbrass being in , 
 the carriage sent his servants, and his 
 chaplain, who that morning accompanied 
 him, to assist the ladies, professing that 
 he would have alighted himself, but that 
 he feared an attack of the gout ; and the 
 chaplain, who was a man of taste, no 
 sooner saw Anarella's face, than he ex- 
 ei-ted himself to release her, and in spite 
 of her entreaties to be set down he carried 
 her to the carriage of the Marquis, who 
 received her with the greatest politeness ; 
 assuring her that he was particularly hap- 
 py to have been passing at a time when
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILt. 415 
 
 he could be useful to her. Mrs. St. Arno 
 was soon brought to her niece, and the 
 men servants set about delivering' Dunn. 
 The Marquis, who had heard of the ladies 
 at Rose Cottage, and guessed these were 
 they, had taken his resolution, and order- 
 ing his postillion to turn the carriage and 
 drive back to the castle, he apologized 
 for doing so without consulting them, but 
 said he knew that at Pont-y-V — the ac- 
 commodations were very miserable, and 
 he was certain that Mrs. St. Arno's health 
 would suffer from the accident, unless 
 particular care was taken of her. 
 
 " Then I am to understand. Sir," 
 said Mrs. St. Arno, " that I speak to the 
 Marquis of Hardenbrass ?" 
 
 The Marquis bowed ; and was not dis- 
 pleased to see the deep blush that suffused 
 Anarella's cheek. He attributed it to the 
 favourable impression, he and his rank 
 had made on the young lady, and nothing 
 passed to undeceive him. 
 
 " From the road I perceived you came.
 
 416 HARDENBRASS AND MAVERILL. 
 
 Madam," said the Marquis, " I believe I 
 am right in supposing" that I have the 
 honour to see Mrs. St. Arno ?" " May I 
 ask where your Lordship heard my 
 name ?"" asked Mrs. St Arno. 
 
 " In a country so thinly inhabited as 
 this," replied the Marquis, " the addi- 
 tion of any single family will of course 
 be a subject of conversation, even when 
 the parties are less conspicuous than Mrs. 
 St. Arno can ever be. You make me 
 happy, Madam, by honoring Rhanvellyn 
 Castle with your presence, and I assure 
 you I was on my way to pay my respects 
 to you at this very time." 
 
 " My Lord," replied Mrs. St. Arno, 
 " you do me honor, and for a day or two 
 my niece and myself will avail ourselves 
 of your politeness. I beg that my car- 
 riage, if possible, may follow me with my 
 woman." The Marquis pulled the check 
 string, and Mrs. St. Arno gave her orders 
 to the footman, who returned to see them 
 executed, and very soon Mrs. St. Arno^s
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 4 17 
 
 carriage, containing" the disconsolate 
 Dunn, and the Chaplain, followed that of 
 the Marquis to Rhanvellyn, while the 
 poor landlord was left to trudge back to 
 Pont-y-Y — where his only consolation 
 was to find his horse safe and well taken 
 care of. 
 
 Mrs. St. Arno had suffered so much 
 during the morning, that she was really ill 
 before she arrived at Rhanvellyn Castle, 
 and Anarella's anxiety and agitation were 
 in consequence very great. Yet the ro- 
 mantic road she passed, and the tremen- 
 dous rushing of the waters, now in their 
 sublimest state, did not escape her notice, 
 and the Marquis as they proceeded, 
 pointed out to her the most striking points 
 of view. He was a man of acknowledged 
 taste as well as politeness, and contrived 
 to be almost at the whole expence of the 
 conversation during the journey. 
 
 When they reached the castle, he con- 
 ducted them into the drawing room, and 
 perceiving that they were really ill, and
 
 '4 18 HARt)ENBKASS AND HAVEllifLl. 
 
 fatigued, he rinig for theTiousekeep'er, and 
 ordered her to shew the ladies to their 
 apartments, and receive tlieir orders. 
 Then turning* to Mrs. St. Arno he said, 
 " In this house. Madam, you will I hope 
 favour me by giving what commands are 
 most agreeable to you. My usual dinner 
 hour is six, if you are sufficiently reco- 
 vered to join my friends and myself we 
 shall infinitely rejoice, if not you will 
 order dinner at what hour you please." 
 So saying he bowed politely, and left them 
 with his housekeeper. 
 
 This person was a M^oman about forty, 
 rather good-looking than otherwise, with 
 a foreign countenance, and a certain air 
 which some have called dijanty air, and 
 which we confess ourselves at a loss to 
 find a better name for. She was at the 
 same time very obsequious, and very self- 
 sufficient in her manner, and did not im- 
 press the ladies with a favourable opinion 
 of her. 
 
 Mrs. St. Arno, supported by her niece.
 
 fplIow,ed her into an elegant apartment, 
 ready for the; reception of visitors^ with a 
 goqd fire, in the grate, and feeling herself 
 fjfiir.froin well, she deterpain^d to go to bed, 
 fpr a few hours. 
 
 " I wiU thai;ik you, Ma'am," said she, 
 " to send my boxes, which must by this 
 time be arrived, into the dressing room, 
 an^j to order me a bason of water-gruel. 
 I should chuse too to have my bed warmed, 
 and I must beg you to take care of my 
 poor woman, and have her put to bed 
 directly: I fear she is very ill." The 
 woman made a curtsey and retired, and 
 Anarella took off her aunt's pelisse ap,(jl^ 
 bonnet, and plaped ,tlie easy cha^r before^ . 
 the fire for her. They then agreed upo^> 
 dining at all events in. their own apart- 
 ment that day, and w^re proceeding to. 
 observe upon the eventfulp^ssof the. day, 
 when the housekeeper returnejj* She 
 asked if the young lady would give he^j 
 leave to shew her an apartment ; to whi<?ho
 
 420 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 Mrs. St. Arno replied, that she and her 
 niece always occupied the same room. 
 
 " There is no occasion, Madam, here,'* 
 said the woman, in a sort of guttural Eng- 
 lish with a German accent, ** this house is 
 quite a town, we can accommodate very 
 large parties, and my Lord expects some 
 ladies to day." 
 
 " May I beg the favour of your name, 
 Madam?" said Mrs. St. Arno. 
 
 " My name is Shank, Madam," replied 
 the woman. 
 
 " Well then, Mrs. Shank, I thank you 
 for your attention, and I doubt not you 
 are fulfilling the will of your Lord ; but 
 one room is as much as we wish to oc- 
 cupy," said Mrs. St. Arno. 
 
 The woman coloured deeply as if of- 
 fended, and again retired. When she 
 was gone out, Anarella rose to see that the 
 door was closed, and then said, ** I don*t 
 like that woman's face, I would not trust 
 her/'
 
 HARDENBRASS AND HAVERILL. 421 
 
 " It is wrong" to judge hastil}^ my 
 dear/* replied her Aunt, " but 1 must 
 own it is not prepossessing*. Perhaps 
 we are judging her from the company 
 she keeps.'* 
 
 *' Who do you mean ? the Marquis ?" 
 said Anarella ; ** he is at least better 
 countenanced than his woman.** 
 
 A noise in the dressing room now gave 
 notice that their boxes were come, and 
 Anarella hurried out to find her Aunt's 
 night things. While she was opening the 
 chaise seat to look for them, Dunn all 
 mud and anxiety rushed into the room, 
 and expressed her pleasure at finding 
 Miss ag-ain. She would have staid to 
 wait on her lady ; but Anarella insisted 
 upon her going immediately to bed, and 
 taking some mulled wine, which com- 
 mand, at last, she complied with. A wo- 
 man servant carried her packages, and at- 
 tended her to her room, and Anarella 
 desired the mulled wine might be brought 
 to her, as she should see herself that her 
 . vol; I. u
 
 422 HARDENBRx\SS AND HAVERILL. 
 
 maid did not refuse to take it. She then 
 put her Aunt to bed, and gave her her 
 g-ruel, after which she followed Dunn's 
 attendant, who said she was sorry to take 
 her such a long way, but the servant's 
 rooms were very far off. Anarella cared 
 not for distance, and she followed her 
 guide in silence to another wing of the 
 house. But we think it time to conclude 
 our first volume, having lodged our fair 
 ladies in Rhanvellyn Castle : those who 
 are desirous of knowing what passed 
 there, will peruse our second. 
 
 SiNB OF VOL. I. 
 
 liAKNAllD AND rAIU.B¥, 
 
 iHiiuutr tlrttt, London ,
 
 '% 
 
 Y 
 
 
 ■ ■...: •'..... Jl,, 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS-URBANA 
 
 
 3 0112 046421456 
 
 
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