LI E) R.ARY OF THE UN IVLR5ITY Of ILLI NOIS 823 SuTha IBQ3 Digitized by tine Internet Arciiive in 2010 witii funding from University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign http://www.archive.org/details/handleycrossorsp01surt HANDLEY CROSS; ♦s'' • OR, THE SPA HUNT. gl Spotting IBak. BY THE AUTHOR OF JORROCKS' JAUNTS AND JOLLITIES," &c. DT THREE VOLUINIES. VOL. I. LONDON: HENRY COLBURN, PUBLISHER, GREAT MARLBOROUGH STREET. 1843. ^ HANDLEY CROSS; OR, THE SPA HUNT. CHAPTER I. " I respect hunting in whatever shape it appears ; it is a manly and a wholesome exercise, and seems by nature designed to be the amusement of the Briton." — BECKroRD. When Michael Hardey died, great was the difficulty in the Vale of Sheepwash to devise how the farmers' hunt was to be carried on. Michael, a venerable siDortsman of the old school, had long been at the head of aftairs, and without paying all expenses, had enjoyed an uninterrupted sway over the pack and country. The hounds at first were of that primitive sort, upon which modern sportsmen look down with contempt. Few in number, uneven in size, and ill-matched in speed, they were trencher-fed* all • Unkenneled, or kept at farm-houses and cottages. VOL. I. B Z HANDLEY CROSS; OR, the year round, and upon any particular morning that was fixed on for a hunt, each man might be seen wending his way to the meet followed by his dog, or bringing him along in a string. " There was Invincible Tom, and Invincible Towler, Invincible Jack, and Invincible Jowler." Day would hardly have dawned ere the long- poled sj)ortsmen assembled with their hounds. Then they would trail up to puss. Tipler would give the first intimation of her erratic wanderings o'er the dewy mead. Then it was, " well done Tipler ! O, what a dog he is !" Then Mountain would throw his tongue, and flinging a pace or two in advance, would assume the lead. " Well done, Mountain ! Mountain for ever" — would be the cry. Tapster next would give a long drawn howl, as if in confirmation of his comrades doings, in front, and receive in turn the plaudits of his master. Thus they would unravel the gordian knot of puss's wanderings. ^ ^ ^ ^ Other foot-people try the turnips, cross the stubbles, and beat the hedges. Yon tuft upon the rising ground seems likely for her form. Aye, Tipler points towards it. Giles Jolter's hand is raised to signal invincible Towler, but half the pack rush towards him, and Jolter kicks puss out of her form to save her from THE SPA HUNT. 6 their jaws. " Hoop ! Hoop ! Hoop ! There she goes !" What a panic ensues ! Puss lays her long ears upon her back, and starts for the hill with the fleetness of the wind. The pack with more noise than sj)eed, strain every nerve, and the further they go the further they are left behind. The hare crosses over the summit of the hill, and the hounds are reduced to their noses for the line. " Now, Mountain ! Now, Tipler ! Now, Bonnets-o'-blue. Oh, what dogs they are !" ^ 'TT W W ^ ^^^ff^P^^ff->P^^ff-> ^^ ^^® sportsmen, running and rolling after their darlings, with little leisure for shouting. Then, having gained the summit of the hill, the panting pedestrians would stand lost in admiration at the doino^s of their favourites down below, while the more active follow in their wake, trusting to a check to let them in. When a check ensued how bipeds and quadrupeds worked ! While the latter were sniffling about, o^oino; over the same o-round half a dozen times, the former would call their hounds to them, and either by pricking or lifting over difficult ground con- trive to give them a lead. The hunt is up aagin, and away they all go. The hounds strain over the grass, dash through the furze, making the spinney resound with their cry, and enter upon the fallow beyond. Mountain alone speaks to B 2 4 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, the scent, and hill re-echoes his voice. — Now he's silent. — She's squatted. The prickers are at work again, trying each furrow, and taking the rigs across. How close she lies I W "n* ^ W 'Jv " Hoop r She jumps up in the middle of the pack, and Mountain gets a mouthful of fur. That was a close shave ! — too close to be pleasant. The hill people view her, and now every move of puss and the pack is eagerly watched. " That's right ! that's right ! over the stubble. Tipler's just going her very line. Ah, he's taken up the hedge instead of down, and Mountain has it. Now, Mountain, my man !" She runs round the sheep, but Mountain hits her off beyond. Now she doubles and springs back, but they work through the problem, and again puss has nothing to trust to but her speed. Her strength begins to fail. She makes a grand effort, and again leaves her pursuers in the lurch. Slow and sure they ring her funeral knell after her, each note striking terror into her breast, as she pricks her long ears and sits listening. She nears her own haunt but dare not enter. The hill-people descend to join the tussle at the end. Poor puss ! her large bright eyes are ready to start out of her head. Her clean brown fur is THE SPA HUNT. O clotted and begrimed, and her strength is all but exhausted. Another view ! " Poor, is the triumph o'er the timid hare." Now what a noise of men and hounds as they view her aoain. It is a last chance. She passes into the next grass field, and a friendly hedge conceals her from their view. She steals up the furrow, and reaches the wall at the high end. It is high and loose, and a few stones are out in the middle. Puss jumps in.^ # # # # # Up come the hounds. Mountain and Tipler, and Gamester, and Bonnets-o'-blue, Merryman and Ferryman, and then a long tail, yeljjing, yapping, puffing, and blowing. Over they go into the lame. Now up, now down, now backwards, now forwards, now round about, but no puss. 'Jr -Jv w w w Up come the field. " Now, Mountain, my man, hit her off*!" cries his master, vaulting over the wall, and stooping to prick the hare on the road. But no prints are there. " She must have flown !" observes one. " Or sunk into the ground," says another. " Or yon tinker man's knocked her on the * The maiiceuvres of a liunted iiare are truly astonishing. — The author witnessed the above. 6 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, head," observes a third, pointing to a gipsy camp at the cross roads, and away they all go to demand the body of puss. M. M. M. ,AL, M^ ■^ "TV* tV- •TV* "TV The tinker man shows fight on having his cauldron searched, and several stout wenches emerging from the tattered cart-awning, a battle royal ensues, and further attention is completely diverted from puss. Well done, puss ! To proceed — The next step in the Handley Cross hunt, was getting a boy to collect the hounds before hunt- ing.* They lay wide, and sometimes Mountain's master couldn't come, consequently, Mountain was not there ; sometimes Tipler's master was absent, and the pack lost the services of Tipler's unerring nose. Next, some of the farmers began to ride. At first they came out with young horses, just to let them see hounds — then as the horses got older they thought they might as well work them till they sold them, and at last it ended in their riding as a matter of course. Foremost among the riders was Michael Hardey. He had always * It is only those who have witnessed it that can credit the sagacity evinced by trencher-fed hounds in knowing the hunt- ing mornings, placing themselves ready for the summons, or rushing with joyous cry to meet the messenger. THE SPA HUNT. been a great promoter of the hunt, breeding his hounds as he did his horses, for speed and sub- stance. Some used to say they were r«^ther too swift for a hare. Others, however, followed his example, and in course of time the heavy towling harriers were converted into quick and dashing hounds. Time rolled on, and Michael at length became looked upon as the master or manager of the pack. Having been always more addicted to fox than to hare, he had infused a spirit into the country which ended in making the wily animal their quarry. The hounds were still kept at walks during the summer, but Michael fitted up a kennel at his farm to which they were brought towards the autumn. Peter, the pedestrian huntsman, was taken into Michael's service, clothed and mounted. Of course all this was done by subscription. Some gave Michael cash, some gave him corn, some hay, others straw, and all the old horses in the country found their ways to his farm. They were then called fox-hounds. The first day of the first season, after their metamorphosis, the hounds met at Handley Cross — the Godfather of our work. It was a pretty village, standing on a gentle eminence, about the middle of the Vale of Sheepwash, a rich grazing 8 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, district, full of rural beauties, and renowned for the honest independence of its inhabitants. Neither factory nor foundry disturbed its morals or its quietude — steam and railroads were equally unknown. The clear curl of white smoke, that rose from its cottage chimneys, denoted the con- sumption of forest wood, with which the out- skirts of the vale abounded. It was a nice clean country. The hazel grew with an eel-like skin, and the spiry larch shot up in a cane-coloured shoot. Wild roses filled the hedges, and fragrant woodbine clambered every where. Handley Cross was a picturesque spot — It commanded an almost uninterrupted view over the whole vale — Far, to the north, the lofty Gayhurst hills formed a soft and sublime outline, while the rich vale stretched out, dotted with village spires, and brightened with winding silvery streams, closed in on either side with dark streaks of woodland tracts. — To the south, it stretched away to the sea. Handley Cross, was a simple, unpretending village— The white-washed, thatched-roofed cot- tages formed a straggling square, round a village green, in the centre of which, encircled with time-honoured firs, on a flight of rude stone steps, stood the Aallage cross, the scene of country hirings. Basket-making was the trade of the inhabitants ; a healthy and prosperous one, if the looks of its followers, and the vine-clad and rose- THE SPA HUNT. 9 covered fronts of the cottages might be taken as an index. It had but one public-house — the sign of the Fox and Grapes, and that was little fre- quented — had it been, there would most likely have been two. Thither our master brought his hounds the first day of the season in which they professedly began to hunt foxes. It was a day of interest in the vale, and people gathered ft'om afar— The morning was beautifully fine, with a slight tinge of frost on the ground, that half-an-hour's sunshine would dissolve. A little before eight, the foot-people on the steps of the Cross, descried Michael crossing the vale by a line of hand-gates, from his house — the hounds clustered round his horse, and Peter bringing up the rear. On they come at an easy steady pace, and then the tall hedges below concealed them from their view— presently they rose the hill, and entered the village-green. " The hounds ! the hounds !" cried the children, and away they rushed from the Cross to meet them. Some of the hounds threw their tongues with delight, as they jumped and fawned on the hands that had fed them — Climbank met his master, and rushed to him with joy, while the honest fellow felt in his pocket for the accustomed crust. " Come-by-Chance," recognized his mistress, and nearly threw her down with the vehemence of B 3 10 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, his salute. All was cheerful and bright— Mi- chael's black horse pawed the ground, and whin- nied with delight, as the hounds bayed him, or leapt against his sides. His master had paid a little extra attention to his toilette that morning ; his well-brushed broad-brimmed hat, jDressed gently on his close-lying nut-brown curls, his whiskers were newly trimmed, and he had evi- dently had a keen-edged razor to shave with — Health was on his brow, and a good-natured smile hovered o'er his swarthy face, disjDlaying the brightness of his eyes and the whiteness and regularity of his teeth. Michael was then about forty ; but for the fullness of his limbs one might have taken something off. The elements had rather hardened than sharjoen'd the features of his face. He stood six feet high, with an amazing- expanse of chest, and well-proportioned limbs. His hunting costume consisted of a good nut- brown coat, almost matching his complexion, a scrupulously clean white neckcloth, with a large flap-pocketed red waistcoat, patent cord breeches, and mahogany-coloured top boots. His undress, or home costume, was the same, with drab gaiters instead of boots ; and his full, or evening costume, ditto, without the gaiters. A twisted hunting horn was slung across his shoulder, and he rode with a spare stirrup-leather round his horse's neck, This coal black steed was an animal of THE SPA HUNT. M amazing speed and power — nearly tliorough-bred, with a light, well-set on head, clean flat legs, immense loins and hocks— he stood nearly six- teen hands, though the shortness of his tail made him look somewhat bigger — he was rising seven years old, and that was his first regular season. Peter was dressed like his master — coat, waist- coat, and breeches off the same web, and rode a wiry-looking bay mare, with white hind legs. He was then about thirty, short, light, and active, barely turning nine stone — Michael weighed fourteen. Horsemen now began to arrive through the various openings among the cottages on the green. First came James Fairlamb, with his merry round face shining with the morning sun — He rode a crop-eared cob with a Roman nose ; his dress consisted of a single-breasted plum- coloured coat, with large silver buttons, black boots, and white lambswool stockings drawn over his knees. Stephen Dumpling, the doctor, appeared at the door of the only four-windowed house on the green, followed by his maid with a foaming tankard. The contents being disposed of, he mounted his dun pony, and joined the group. He was dressed in orthodox black, with powder, and a pigtail, drab shorts, and top boots. The plot thickened— they came by twos and threes. Peter Jewitt, and Harry Jones; two 12 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, Smiths, and a Brown, then another Jewitt, then another Jones ; Morgan Hains, and John Tho- mas; next a horse-breaker ; after him, Mr. Giles, the brewer, followed by the Exciseman, on a mule ; then Mr. Smith, the overseer, and Miss Fidget's young man with the letter-bag, a mole- catcher, and a gamekeeper. All his comrades having come, Michael looked at his large silver hunting watch, and seeing it was half-past eight, prepared for throwing off. The couples were taken off the young hounds, master and man cocked forward their legs and tightened their girths, and then turned their horses' heads for the south, amid a chorus of delight from the hounds and the ill-suppressed cheers of the field. A hazel copse or two were tried just for the sake of the chance, and on they trotted to a warm lying cover of gorse or brush wood, formed by the junction of two hills. Jolly-boy, Boniface, and Dexterous, feathered as they approached the spot, and the former dashing in with a whimper and a long drawn howl, Michael took off his broad-brimmed, low-crowned hat, and waving in the pack, cheered them to the echo. His horse pricked his ears, and whinnied with delight, and could scarcely be brought to stand with his head towards the cover as Michael stood erect in his stirrups, with one hand on the cantrel of his THE SPA HUNT. 13 saddle and the other holding his whip and reins, while his eagle-eye roved over every part of the dell. " Have at him there, my jewel T cried he to old Bonny-bell— a favourite white bitch that lived with him, and could scarcely ever be persuaded to quit his horse's heels, — as she stood w^hining, lifting a foot, and looking him earnestly in the face ; — " Have at him there, my old lass .'" re-echoed he, looking down upon her, and waving his right hand, to induce her to join cry. The old bitch dashed in, and the chorus increased. The gorse was close, or the hounds must have chopped the fox, for he had made two etforts to break up hill so as to fly for the woodland country, and had twice been driven from his point by Michael's voice and the crack of his whip. A momentary silence ensued, as they over-ran the scent, and Michael had just cried, "Look out, Peter!" to his whipper-in, who was stationed on the opposite hill, when the fox dashed over a piece of stone wall between two large ash trees in the high hedge at the bottom of the cover, and with a whisk of his brush, set his head straight down the vale, crossing over a large grazing ground of at least a hundred acres. " Silence !" cried Michael, holding up his hand to the foot people, who were congregated on the hill, as he turned his horse short and galloped to the point at which the fox broke away, where with a twang of his bugle, he 14 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, presently had the old hounds at his heels, and hat in hand he waved them over the wall. Jolly-boy feathered for a second on the grass, and then with a long-protracted howl, as if to draw his brethren to the spot, he went away with his head in the air, followed by Dexterous, Countryman, Bonny-bell, and True-boy, and after them went the body of the pack. " Gone away ! " cried Michael, " gone away ! tally-ho! tally-ho! tally-ho!'' "Get away, hounds! get away !" holloaed Peter, cracking his whip as he trotted down the steep hill ; and putting his bay mare straight at the fence at the bottom, went crash through it, with a noise that resembled the out-bursting of a fire in a straw-yard. Then came the rush : the black threw the stone wall behind him, as a girl would her skipping- rope ; and James Fairlamb's cob came floundering after, bringing down the coping stones, with a rattle and clatter that would have been awful if hounds had not been running. The third man was the doctor on the dun, who made it still lower ; and after him came Peter Jewitt and John Jones, (the latter leading over,) and impeding the progress of John Thomas, the other Jewitt, the other Jones, Morgan Hains, the overseer, and the parish-clerk of Welford, who all kept holloaing and swearing away — as obstructed gentlemen in a hurry generally do. The foot-people, seeing THE SPA HUNT. 15 how hopeless was the case, stood upon the hills, lost in mute astonishment, eyeing Michael on his black, careerino' over the meadows and hedaes in a straight line with the pack, followed by Peter on his bay, and Fairlamb on his cob, until the plum-coloured coat of the latter assumed the hue of the others, and hounds, horses, and men, grew " Small by degrees, and beautifully less." " Gently /" cried Michael, as the black horse bounded over the fifteenth fence, with all the dash and vigour with which he had cleared the wall, and the hounds threw up over a fallow, the first check they had come to. " Yon way !" cried a countryman on a bean-stack, who had headed the fox, extending his arm like a telegraph ; " to the left, past the hurdles." " Let them alone r cried Michael, " let them alone ! Jolly-boy has it down the furrow ; hoic to Jolly-boy ! hoic !" and a wave of his hat brought the pack forward, and away they go full cry, making the welkin ring with the music of their deep-toned notes. "A cry more tuneable Was never hoUoa'd to, nor cheer'd by horn !" Forward they press ; and Conqueror usurps the place of Jolly-boy. Poor dog, nature must not be denied, and age has slackened the vigour of his limbs! But they come to slow hunting, and the old houiid's unerring nose keeps the pack upon 16 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, the line. The ground is stained with sheep, which scampering in a half circle as the fox went pass, complete the ring, now that they hear the hounds. Michael pulls up, Peter is at his side, Fairlamb is in the next field — crack goes a rail, and the Ro- man-nosed cob is over, and the doctor's dun comes up just as Michael puts his fingei' in his ear, and screeches the pack forward to old Bonny-bell, who speaks to the villain under the gate. It is a rotten old thing upon one hinge, formed of at least twenty spars and rails, all rattling and jingling out of concert, and is fastened with hazel-bands and pieces of knotted rope. Michael's ponderous iron-headed whip breaks through them at a blow, and, thrusting the remains back with his right leg, he passes through and enters the open common beyond the vale. They are now upon the downs! all is brightness and space ; Handley-cross ap- pears like a speck in the distance, rendered visible only by the dark firs on the Green, and the vale looks like a web of green cloth stretched out behind. They approach rising ground, and the pack no longer press forward in eager jealousy, but each hound seems settled in his place; in truth, the pace has told upon uneven condition, and four hounds alone carry the scent. The ground becomes steeper and steeper, and even the fox has traversed the " mountain's brow" at an angle. Now CHm- THE SPA HUNT. 17 bank's outline stands against the blue sky, and the pack wind after him in long drawn file. Michael jumps off his horse as he approaches the steep ascent, and runs up, leading; Peter follows his example, but Fairlamb sticks to the cob, and the Doctor begins kicking and digging the dun with his spurs. The heights of Ashley Downs are gained, and the scene changes. The horizon is bounded by the sea, upon whose briny bosom float some pigmy vessels, and the white breakers of the shore are just visible to the eye. It may be five miles off, and the space between is undulating and open, save towards a tract of woodland that appears to join the coast. The Doctor reaches the summit of Ashley Downs, and pulls up fairly exhausted. He takes off his hat and mops the perspiration from his brow, as he sits viewing hounds, horses, and men, swinging away down the hill like a bundle of clock pendulums into the vale below. Not a house to be seen ! no, not even a cottaji-e, and as the hounds turn to the right, and run the depths of a rocky dell, whose projecting cliffs support venerable yews and red-berried hollies, their music rends the air, " As if a double hum were heard ai once." " It's twenty years since I was here," said Michael to himself, wiping the perspiration from 18 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, his forehead, " and the fox beat me I recollect. If we can but press him out, we must kill. That's the very crag!" added he, " just below the crooked oak. He has tried it, but, thank good- ness, Jolly-boy carries the scent beyond ! Yooi on, hounds ! yooi onT' holloasMichael from above, with a crack of his whip to some tail hounds that kept snuffling at his sides ; " Forrard, away, forrard .'" The dell opens into a broader expanse of better soil, and the whole pack pour forth into the vale beyond with a chorus and a melody " of musical discord and sweet thunder," that makes even Fairlamb's cob, though somewhat distressed, snort and prick up his ears with pleasure. For- ward they go, with every hound upon the scent and speaking to it, " What lengths they pass ! where will the wandering chase Lead them bewilder'd !" * * * * " He's close afoor you!" cries a shepherd from a straw-thatched hut, whose dog having chased the fox had caused a check, and Michael cast forward at a trot. A flock of sheep wheeling round a field directed him to the line, and old Bonny-bell hits him off at the hedge-row. All the hounds then stoop to the scent and dash forward into the large wood beyond with mischief and venom in their cry. The wood is open at the THE SPA HUNT. 19 bottom and they get through it like wild-fire. Michael is with them, and Peter is outside, with Fairlamb behind. The wood becomes studded with evergreens and gradually opens upon a lake with a bridge of costly structure at the end; Michael views the fox dead beat, with his tongue out, and brush dragging along the ground just turning the corner to cross the bridge; and dashing forward, hat in hand, in another minute ran into him on the mossy lawn by the terrace of Ongar Castle, just as the Earl of Bramber and family were sitting down to breakfast. Who shall describe Michael's ecstacy, as he picked up the fox and held him high above the baying pack . There he stood on the well-kept lawn, with his fox grinning in grim death in one hand and his low-crowned hat in the other, whooping and holloaing old Bonny-bell and the pack up to him, while the colt in a smoking white lather, kept moving about, stamping and pawing up the mossy bank as he went. Then Michael pulled his bugle round and sounded a blast that brought Peter and Fairlamb along at the best pace they could muster, just as the Earl of Bramber threw up the breakfast-room window, and the towers of the castle flashed upon Michael's view. All, however, was right, for his lordship having been a sportsman him- self entered into his feelings, and, stepping out 20 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, upon the lawn, banished the idea of intrusion by congratulating Michael on his sport. The ladies, too, followed his example, and even for- gave the trampling of the horse on their mossy carpet. The horses and hounds were then with- drawn from the terrace to a corner of the park close by, where the fox's brush, mask, and pads, being cut off, Peter climbed up a neighbouring oak, extended himself along a strong arm across which he balanced the fox, whooping and hol- loaing to the hounds, while Michael and Fairlamb did the same below, and the hounds being tantalized by expectation, and baying in full chorus, down went the fox crash into their mouths ; " tear Mm and eat himr was the cry, and he was riven to pieces in an instant. Years rolled on with varying sport, but with Michael at the head of the hunt. Time slackened his pace and the pace of his field ; but they all grew fat, and old, and grey together, and no one noticed the change in his neighbour. The hounds got a name, and while in their zenith none could twist up a fox sooner or in better style. With plenty of music and mettle, they seldom over-ran the scent, were never pressed upon, or over-ridden. They turned like harriers. Kennel lameness was unknown. As a huntsman Michael was super-excellent. He knew when to lay hold of his hounds, and THE SPA HUNT. 21 when to let them alone. His voice was shrill, clear, and musical, his eye quick and bright, and he saw things that others never noticed. It is told of liim that one day having pressed his fox very hard, and lost him most unaccountably in a wood of some ten acres, as he was telling his hounds over preparatory to going home, he all at once rode back to the top of a hill that commanded a view of the other side of the cover and tallihoed away ! The fox being blown, was soon after killed, and when Michael came to account for his movements, he said that knowing the hounds were all out, he heard a blackbird frightened in cover, and supposed it might be by the fox moving, after they were gone. Hundreds of similar stories might be told of him. In his large woodlands with which the out- skirts of the vale abounded, many a fox owed his death to the way Michael threw in his tail-hounds at head. He knew his country and the runs of his foxes, and where he gained an advantage one season he did not forget to repeat it in the next. His dog language was peculiar, partaking more of the nature of dialogue than the short monosyl- labaic cheering and rating of the present day. His hounds were strongly attached to him ; and if by any chance he did not accompany them to cover, they would rush full cry from Peter and his boy to meet him on the road. 22 HANDLEY CROSS. Peter was a capital coadjutor, and master and man played into each other's hands with keenness untinctured with jealousy. The whipper-in's nerve continued after his master's beo^an to fail, and he might often be seen boring through a bullfinch to clear the way for old Michael, or sto23ping at a brook to give him a help over. Peace to Michael's manes ! He died at the good old age of seventy-four, without a groan or struggle. The lamp of life gradually flickered out, and his spirit passed away almost imper- ceptibly. " His memory is cherished yet ; and many people say, With this good old English man good old times are gone for aye.' " 23 CHAPTER 11. " Throw physic to the dogs." Well, as we said before, when Michael Hardey died, great was the difficulty in the Vale of Sheep- wash to devise how the farmer's hunt was to be carried on. The difficulty was increased by the change that had come over the country itself. After upwards of thirty years occupancy of it, Michael witnessed one of those magical revolutions that appear to belong rather to fiction than reality. One Roger Swizzle, a roistering, red-faced, round-about apothecary, who had somewhat im- paired his constitution by his jolly performances while walking the hospitals in London, had settled at Appledove, a small market town in the vale, where he enjoyed a considerable want of practice in common with two or three other for- tunate brethren. Hearing of a mineral spring at Handley Cross, which, according to usual country tradition, was capable of " curing everything," he tried it on himself, and either the water or the exercise in walking to and fro had a very bene- 24 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, ficial effect on liis somewhat deranged digestive powers. He analysed its contents, and finding the ingredients he expected, he set himself to work to turn it to his own advantage. Having secured a lease of the spring, he took the late Stephen Dumpling's house on the green, where at one or other of its four front windows, a numerous tribe of little Swizzles might be seen flattening their noses against the panes. Roger possessed every requisite for a great experimental (qy. quack) practitioner, — assurance, a wife and large family, and scarcely anything to keep them on. Being a shrewd sort of fellow, he knew there was nothinof like strikino* out a new lio^ht for attracting notice, and the more that light was in accordance with the wishes of the world, the more likely was it to turn to his own advantage. Half the complaints of the upper classes he knew arose fi'om over eating and indolence, so he thought if he could originate a doctrine that with the use of Handley Cross waters j^eople might eat and drink what they pleased, his fortune would be as good as made. To this end, therefore, he set himself manfully to work. Aided by the local press, he succeeded in drawing a certain attention to the water, the benefit of which soon began to be felt by the villagers of the place ; and the landlord of the Fox and Grapes had his stable constantly filled with gigs and horses of the visitors. Pre- sently lodgings were sought after, and carpeting THE SPA HUNT. 25 begfan to cover the before sanded staircases of the cottages. These were soon found insufScient ; and an enterprising bricklayer got up a building society for the erection of a row of four-roomed cottages, called the Grand Esplanade. Others quickly followed, the last undertaking always eclipsing its predecessor, until that, which at first was regarded with astonishment, sunk into insig- nificance by its more pretending brethren. The Doctor's practice " grew with the growth" of Handley Cross. His rosy face glowed with health and good living, and his little black eyes twinkled with delight as he prescribed for each patient, sending them away as happy as princes. " Ah, I see how it is," he would say, as a gouty alderman slowly disclosed the symptoms of his case. " Shut your potato trap ! I see how it is. Soon set you on your legs again. Was/«r worse myself. All stomach, sir — all stomach, sir — all stomach — three-fourths of our complaints arise from stomach ;" stroking his corpulent protu- berancy with one hand, and twisting his patient's button with the other. " Clean you well out and then strengthen the system. Dine with me at five and we will talk it all over." To the great and dignified he was more cere- monious. " You see. Sir Harry," he would say, " it's all done hy eating ! More people dig their VOL. I. C 26 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, graves with tlieir teeth than we imagine. Not that I would deny you the good things of this world, but I would recommend a few at a time, and no mixing. No side dishes. No liqueurs — only two or three wines. Whatever your stomach fancies give it ! Begin now, to-morrow, with the waters. A pint before breakfast — half an hour after, tea, fried ham and eggs, brown bread, and a walk. Luncheon — another pint — a roast pigeon and fried potatoes, then a ride. Dinner at six, not later mind ; gravy soup, glass of sherry, nice fresh turbot and lobster sauce — wouldn't recom- mend salmon — another glass of sherry — then a good cut out of the middle of a vfell-browiied saddle of mutton, wash it over with a few glasses of iced champagne ; and if you like a little light pastry to wind up with, well and good. — A pint of old port and a deviled biscuit can hurt no man. Mind, no sallads or cucumbers, or celery, at dinner, or fruit after. Turtle soup is very whole- some, so is venison. Don't let the punch be too acid though. Drink the waters, live on a regimen, and you'll be well in no time." With these and such like comfortable assu- rances, he pocketed his guineas, and bowed his patients out by the dozen. The theory was pleasant both to doctor and patient, and peculiarly suited the jolly air of the giver. We beg pardon for not havins: drawn a more elaborate sketch of THE SPA HUNT. 27 Mr. Swizzle, before. In height he was exactly live feet eight, and forty years of age. He had a long fat red face, with little twinkling black eyes, set high in his forehead, surmounted by fullish eye-brows and short bristly iron-grey hair, brushed up like a hedgehog's back. His nose was snub, and he rejoiced in an ample double chin, rendered more conspicuous by the tightness of an ill-tied white neckcloth, and the absence of all whisker or hair from his face. A country- made snuff-coloured coat, black waistcoat, and short greenish drab trousers, with high-lows, were the adjuncts of his short ungainly figure. A pe- culiarly good-natured smile hovered round the dimples of his fat cheeks, which set a patient at ease on the instant. This, with his unaffected, cheery free and easy manner and the comfortable nature of his prescriptions, gained him innume- rable patients. That to some he did good, there is no doubt. The mere early rising and exercise he insisted upon, would renovate a constitution impaired by too close application to business, and bad air; while the gourmand, among whom his principal practice lay, would be benefitted by ab- stinence and regular hours. The water no doubt had its merits, but, as usual, was greatly aided by early rising, pure air, the absence of cares, regular habits, and the other advantages, which mineral waters invariably claim as their own. One thing c2 28 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, the Doctor never wanted — a reason why it did not cure. If a patient went back on his hands, he soon hit off an excuse — " You surely didn't dine off goose, on Michaelmas-day ?" or " Hadn't you some filberts for dessert?" &:c., all which information he got from the servants or shop- keepers of the place. When a patient died on his hands, he would say, " He was as good as dead when he came." The Handley Cross mania spread throughout the land ! Invalids in every stage of disease and suffering were attracted by Roger's name and fame. The village assumed the appearance of a town. A handsome crescent reared its porticoed front at the north end of the green, to the centre house of which the Doctor removed from his humble whitewashed cottage, which was imme- diately rased, to make way for a square of forty important houses. Buildings shot up in all direc- tions. Streets branched out, and markets, and lawns, and terraces, stretched to the right and the left, the north, the south, the east, and the west. The suburbs built their Prospect Houses, Rose Kill Villas, Hope Cottages, Grove Places, Gilead Terraces, and Tower View Halls. A fortune was expended on a pump room, opening into spacious promenade and ball rooms, but the speculators never flagged, and new works were planned before those in hand were completed. THE SPA HUNT. 29 A thriving trade soon brings competition — another patientless doctor determined to try his luck in opposition to Roger Swizzle. Observing the fitness of that worthy's figure for the line he had taken, Dr. Sebastian Mello considered that his pale and sentimental countenance better be- came a grave and thoughtful character, so deter- mined to devote himself to the serious portion of the population. He too was about forty, but a fair complexion, flowing sandy locks, and a slight figure, would let him pass for ten years younger. He had somewhat of a Grecian face, with blue eyes, and regular teeth, vieing the whiteness of his linen. Determined to be Swizzle's opposite in every particular, he was studiously attentive to his dress. Not that he indulged in gay colours, but his black suit fitted without a wrinkle, and his thin dress boots, shone with patent polish ; turned-back cambric wristbands displayed the snowy white- ness of his hand, and set ofi" a massive antique ring or two. He had four small frills to his shirt, and^aJi auburn hair chain crossed his broad roll- collared waistcoat, and passed a most diminutive Geneva watch into its pocket. He was a widower with two children, a boy and a girl, one five and the other four. Mystery being his object, he avoided the public gaze. Unlike Roger Swizzle, who either trudged from patient to patient, or 30 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, whisked about in a gig, Dr. Sebastian Mello drove to and fro in a claret-coloured fly, drawn by dun ponies. Through the plate glass windows a glimpse of his reclining figure might be caught, lolling luxuriously in the depths of its swelling cushions, or musing complacently with his chin on a massive gold-headed cane. With the men he was shy and mysterious; but he could talk and flatter the women into a belief that they were almost as clever as himself. As most of his fair patients were of the serious, or blue-stocking school, he quickly discovered the bent of each mind, and by studying the sub- ject, astonished them by his genius and versa- tility. In practice he was also m3rsterious. Disdaining Roger Swizzle's one mode of treat- ment, he professed to take each case upon its merits, and kept a large quarto volume, into which he entered each case, and its daily symp- toms. Thus, while Roger Swizzle was inviting an invalid to exhibit his tongue at the corner of a street — lecturing him, perhaps, with a friendly poke in the ribs, for over-night indulgence. Dr. Mello would be poring over his large volume, or writing Latin prescriptions for the chemists. Roger laughed at Sebastian, and Sebastian pro- fessed to treat Roger with contempt — still com- petition was good for both, and a watering-place THE SPA HUNT. 31 public, ever ready for excitement, soon divided the place into Swizzleites and Melloites. Portraits appeared at the windows, bespeaking the characters of each — Swizzle sat with a patient at a round table, indulo-ino- in a bee's-wing-ed bottle of port, while Mello reclined in a curiously carved chair, one be-ringed hand supporting his flowing-locked head, and the other holding a book. Swizzle's was painted by the artist who did the attractive window blind at the late cigar shop in the Piccadilly Circus, while Sebastian was indebted to Grant for the gentlemanly ease that artist invariably infuses into his admirable portraits. Just as the rival doctors were starting into play, a third character slipped into Handley Cross, without which, a watering-place is incomplete. A tall, thin melancholy-looking man made his appearance at the Spa, and morning after morn- ing, partook of its beverage, without eliciting from widow, wife, or maid, an inquiry as to who he was. He might be a methodist preacher, or a music-master, or a lidler, or a fencer, or a lawyer, or almost anything that one chose to fancy — he might also be any age, from five-and-thirty to fifty, or even more, for strongly indented lines fur- rowed the features of a square and cadaverous countenance, while intrusive grey hairs appeared among his thin black hair, plastered to advantage 32 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, over a flat low forehead — straggling whiskers fringed his hollow cheeks, growing into a stronger crop below the chin. His costume consisted of an old well-brushed hat, lined throughout with black, a mohair stock, with a round embroidered shirt collar, an old white- elbowed, white-seamed black dress coat, while a scrimpey, ill-washed, buff waistcoat, exposed the upper buttons of a pair of much puckered Ox- ford-grey trowsers, and met, in their turn, a pair of square-cut black gaiters and shoes. The place being yet in its infancy, and many of the company" mere birds of passage, the " un- noticed" held on the even tenour of his way, until he eat himself into the President's chair of the Dragon Hotel. He then became a man of importance. The after comers, having never known him in any other situation, paid him the deference due to a man who daily knocked the table with a hammer, and proposed the health of " Her Majesty the Queen," while mutual con- venience connived at the absurdity of being introduced by a man who knew nothing of either party. Being ofaferretting disposition, he soon got acquainted with people's histories, and no impe- diment appearing in the way, he at length dubbed himself master of the ceremonies, and issued his cards, " Captain Doleful, M. C." THE SPA HUNT. 33 Who, or what he was, where he came from, or any thing about him, no one ever cared to inquire. He was now " Master of the Cere- monies," and Masters of Ceremonies are not people to trifle with. The visitors who witnessed his self-instaliation having gone, and feeling his throne pretty firm under him, he abdicated the chair at the Dragon, and retiring to lodgings at Miss Jelly's, a pastry cook and confectioner, at the corner of two streets, opened books at the libraries for the reception and record of those complimentary fees that prudent mammas under- stand the use of too well for us to shock the deli- cacy of either party by relating it here. This much, however, we should mention of Captain Doleful's history, for the due apprecia- tion of his amiable character. He was pretty well off, that is to say, he had more than he spent, but money being the darling object of his heart, he perhaps saved more than others would have done out of the same income. He had been in the militia — the corps v/e forget— but he had afterwards turned coal merchant (at Stroud, we believe), an unprosperous speculation, so he sold the good-will of a bad business to a yoang gen- tleman anxious for a settlement, and sunk his money in an annuity. There are dozens of such men at every large watering-place. In this case, a master of the ceremonies was as much wanted c 3 34 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, as any thing else, for the Pump and Promenade Rooms were on the eve of completion, and there would be no one to regulate the music in the morning, the dances in the evening, or the anti- cipated concerts of the season. It was out of Roger Swizzle's line, and, of course, Sebastian Mello disapproved of such frivolities. Handley Cross had now assumed quite a dif- ferent character. Instead of a quiet, secluded village, rarely visited by a stranger, and never by any vehicle of greater pretension than a gig, it had become a town of some pretension, with streets full of shops, large hotels, public buildings, public houses, and promenades. The little boys and girls left their labour in the fields, to become attendants on leg-weary donkeys, or curtsey- ing offerers of wild flowers to the strangers. A lover's walk, a labyrinth, a waterfall, grottoes, and a robber's cave, were all established ; and as the controversy between the doctors waxed warmer, Sebastian Mello interdicted his patients from the use of Swizzle's Spa, and diluting a spring with Epsom salts and other ingredients, proclaimed it to be the genuine one, and all others spurious. He then, under the signature of " Galen," entered into a learned and rather acri- monious argument with himself, in the great London Medical Mediator, as to the wonderful virtues of the Handley Cross New Spa. THE SPA HUNT. 35 Galen, who led the charge, while admitting Dr. Mello's great talents, had described the waters as only so, so ; while Dr. Sebastian Mello, disdaining the paltry subterfuge of an anony- mous signature, boldly came forward, and stated facts to prove the contrary. Galen, nothing daunted, quoted other places as superior ; but his vehemence diminishing in the ratio of the doctor's eloquent confidence, he gra- dually died out, leaving the doctor the undisputed champion of a water capable of curing every disease under the sun. Parliament being up, and news scarce, the doctor contrived, through the medium of a brother, a selector of shocking accidents, to get sundry extracts inserted in a morning paper, from whence the evening ones gladly transplanting them, and the country ones rehashing them for their Saturday custo- mers, the name of the waters, and the fame of the doctor, spread throughout the land, and caused a wonderful sensation in his favour. The effects were soon felt, for lodgings and houses were written for from all parts, and as a crowning effort, a railway, for the purpose of supplying the metropolis with lily-white sand, passing a station within two miles, was just opened out, offering inexhaustible resources, from the wealth and complaints of the capital. 36 CHAPTER III. "He draweth out the thread of his veibosify finer than the staple of his argument." — Love's labour lost. Thus, then, matters stood at Michael Hardey's death. A great town had risen in the centre of his country, the resort of the rich, the healthy, the sick, and the idle of the land. Rival doctors divided the medical throne, and Captain Doleful was the self-appointed arbiter elegantiarum. The hounds, though originally hardly a feature, had lately been appended to the list of attractions both in the way of newspaper encomiums, and in the more open notice of " Houses to Let." In- deed, such was the fame of Michael and his pack, that several corpulent cob-riding bachelors had taken up their quarters at Handley Cross, for the purpose of combining morning exercise and evening amusements, and several young gentlemen had shown such an anxiety to get the horses out of the flys, that Duncan Nevin, the livery-stable-keeper, had began to think seriously of keeping a hack hunter or two. THE SPA HUNT. 37 This worthy — a big consequential dark-haired dark-eyed, butler-marrying-housekeeper, having run the gauntlet of inn, public-house, and waiter, since he left service, had set up in Handioy Cross, as spring-van luggage remover, waiter at short notice, and owner of a couple of flys, and three horses, which seemed more likely to do good than any of his previous speculations. Kot that he knew any thing about horses, but having resolved that ten pounds was an outside price, he cold not easily lose much. As a seller, he vvas less contracted in his estimates. He it was who first heard of the death of Michael Hardey, and quickened by self-interest he was soon at Miss Jelly's with Captain Doleful. Roger Swizzle being seen feeling a patient's pulse in a donkey gig, was invited to the con- sultation, and though none of them saw how the thing was to be accomplished — they agreed that it would be a great feature to have the hounds at Handley Cross, and that a public meeting should be called to take the matter into consideration. Of course, like sensible people, the land-owners would take their tone from the town, it being an established rule at all watering places, that the visitors are the lords paramount of the soil. The meeting, as all watering place meetings are, was most numerously attended ; fortunately some were there who could direct the line of pro- 38 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, ceeding. On the motion of Captain Doleful, Augustus Barnington, Esq., a rich, red-headed, Cheshire 'Squire, took the chair, and not being a man of many words, contented himself by stam- mering something about honour, and happy to hear observations. We do not know that we need introduce Mr. Barnington further at present, save as the obedient husband of a very imperious lady, the self-appointed Queen of Handley Cross. Captain Doleful then squared himself into attitude, and after three or four ghastly simpers and puckers of his mouth, complimented the husband of his great patron, upon the very able manner in which he had opened the business of the meeting. " It would be superfluous in him to waste their valuable time in dilating upon the monstrous advantages of a pack of hounds, not only in a health-giving point of view, but as regarded the prosperity of their beautiful and flourishing town. To what was the prosperity of Leamington and Cheltenham to be ascribed, but to their hunting establishments, for it was well known their waters were immeasurably inferior to what they enjoyed, not only in sulphuretted hydrogen, but also in iodine and potash. But that was beside the question. For his own part, he stood there upon public grounds alone (hear, hear). His numerous and arduous duties of regulating the Spas in the mornings, the prome- THE SPA HUNT. 39 nades at noon, and the balls and concerts of an evening, left him but too little leisure as it was to pay those polite attentions to the fashionable world which were invariably expected from a well-bred master of ceremonies. Many of the aristocratic visitors to be sure, he observed by the subscription book at the library, had kindly over- looked his remissness — unintentional and scarcely to be avoided as it was — and he trusted others would extend him a similar indulgence. With respect to the maintenance of the fox-hounds, he confessed he was incompetent to offer any sug- gestion; for though he had long worn a scarlet coat it was when in the army — a Militia captain — and hunting formed no part of their exercise. Perhaps some gentleman who under- stood something about the matter, would favour the meeting with his ideas upon the number of dogs and foxes they should keep (laughter) ; the probable expence of their maintenance (renewed laughter), and then they might set about seeing what they could raise by way of subscription." The conclusion of his speech was greeted with loud applause, amid which the captain resumed his seat with a long-protracted mouth-stretching self-satisfied grin. Mr. Dennis O'Brian, a big broad-shouldered, black-whiskered, card-playing, fortune-hunting Irishman, after a short pause rose to address the 40 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, meeting. " Upon liis honour," said he, throwing open his coat, " but the last spoken honourable jontleman had made a mighty nate introduction of the matter in its true light, for there was no denying the fact that money was all that was wanted to carry on the war. He knew the Bal- lyshannon dogs in the county of Donegal, kept by Mr. Trodennick, which cost half nothing at all and a little over, which showed mighty nate sport, and that was all they wanted. By the powers ! but they were the right sort, and followed by rale lovers of the sport from a genuine inclina- tion that way, and not for mere show sake, like many of the spalpeens of this country (applause). If the company would appoint him manager- gineral, and give him a couple of hundred in hand, and three or four more at the end of the season, by the holy piper ! he would undertake to do all that was nadeful and proper, and make such an example of every thing that came in his way, as would astonish his own and their wake minds for iver. He would have foxes' pates by the dozen. He had no fear ; faith none at all. By the great gun of Athlone he would ride in and out of the Ballydarton pound, or fly at a six-foot brick and mortar wall, dashed, spiked, and coped with broken bottles ! He had a horse that he would match against any thing that iver was foaled, a perfect lump of elasticity from his THE SPA HUNT. 41 slioulder to the tip of his tail — the devil be with him! but when you got on his back it was ten to one but he sprung you over his head by the mere con- traction of his muscles ! Faith ! at his castle in Connaught, he had many such, and he would give any jontleman or man of fortune in the company that would fetch a few over to England one for his trouble." Thus Mr. Dennis O'Brian rattled on for ten minutes or more, without producing an}^ favourable effect upon the meeting, for having won or borrowed money from most of them, no one felt inclined to allow him to increase his obligations. When he had exhausted himself, Mr. Romeo Simpkins, a pert, but simple-looking, pink-and- white, yellow-haired youth, studying the law in Hare Court, in the Temple, being anxious to train his voice for the bar, came forward from the crowd that had congregated behind the chair, and looking very sheepish, after casting his eye into his hat, where he had a copious note of his speech, set off at a hand gallop with the first sentence as follows :— " Mr. Chairman and gen- tlemen, in presuming to introduce myself upon the notice of the meeting, I assure you I am actuated by no motive but an anxious desire such as must pervade the breast of every free-born Englishman, every lover of his country— every — I mean to say every — every" — here he looked 42 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, imploringly round the room, as much as to say, " what a mess I'm in !" and then casting his eyes into his hat again, attempted to read his notes, but he had made them so full, and the novelty of his situation had so bewildered him, that they were of no use, and, after a long string of stutters, he slunk back into the crowd amid the laughter and applause of the company. As he left the room he dropped his notes, which, as the reader will see from the following specimen, were framed for rather a serious infliction : " Presume to address — love of country — of all out-of-door amusements, nothing like hunting — encouraged by best autho- rities — practised by greatest men — Sacred history — Nimrod of Babylon — Venus took the field — Adonis killed in chase — Persians fond of hunting — Athenians ditto— Solon restrained ardour^ — La- cedemonians and their breed of speedy dogs — Xe- nephon — Olympic games — Romans — Aristotle — Oppian — Hadrian — Ascanius. — Somerville — Beckford — Meynell — Colonel Cook — Nimrod of Calais — Thanks — Attentive hearing." Mr. Abel Snorem next addressed the meeting. He was a grey-headed, sharp-visaged, long- nosed, but rather gentlemanly-looking, well- dressed man, who was notorious for addressing every meeting he could get to, and wearying the patience of his audiences by his long-winded orations. Throwing back his coat, he gave the THE SPA HUNT. 43 table a thump with his knuckles and immediately proceeded to sjieak, lest the Chairman should suffer any one else to catch his eye. — " Mr. Chairman and gentlemen," said he, "if I am rightly informed, for I have not a copy of the proclamation with me, this meeting has been convened for the purpose of taking into consider- ation a very important question connected with the prosperity of this salubrious spot ; — a spot I may say unrivalled both for its health-giving properties, and for those rural beauties that nature has so bountifully lavished around. In bringing our minds to the calm and deliberate consideration of the subject — fraught, as I may say it is, with the welfare, the happiness, the recre- ation, the enjoyment, of many of those around — I feel assured that it would be wholly superfluous in me to point out the propriety of exercising a sound, impartial, unbiassed judgment — dismissing from our minds all political bias, all party feeling, all invidious comparison, all speculative theories, and of looking at the question in its single capa- city, weighing it according to its true merits, apart from all personal consideration, and legisla- ting upon it in such a manner as we shall con- ceive will be most conducive to the true interest of this town, and to the honour and welfare of the British dominions. (Laughter and loud coughing, with cries of " question.") The ques- 44 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, tion appeared to him to be one of great sim- plicity, and whether he regarded it in the aggre- gate, or considered it in detail, he found none of those perplexing difficulties, those aggravating technicalities, those harrowing, heart-burning jea- lousies, that too frequently enveloped matters of less serious import, and led the mind insensibly from the contemplation of the abstract question that should engage it, into those loftier fields of human speculation that better suited the discursive and ethereal genius of the philosopher, than the more substantial matter-of-fact understandings of sober-minded men of business (loud coughing and scraping of feet.) Neither was it tinctured with any considerations that could possibly provoke a comparison between the merits of the agricultural and manufacturing interests, or excite a surmise as to the stability of the lords, or the security of the church, or yet the constitution of the com- mons ; it vfas, in short, one of those questions upon which contending parties, meeting on neutral ground, might extend the right hand of fellowship and friendship, when peace and harmony might kiss each other, truth and justice join the embrace, and the lion and the lamb lie down together" — (" cock a doodle doo /" crowed some one, which produced a roar of laughter followed by cheers, whistles, coughs, scraping of feet, and great con- fusion.) Mr Snorem, quite undaunted and with THE SPA HUNT. 45 features perfectly unmoved, merely noticed the interruption by a wave of the right hand, and silence returning, in consequence of the exhaustion of the "movement" party, he drevr breath and ao:ain went off at score. " The question, he would repeat, was far from being one of difficulty— nay, so simple did it appear to his mind, that he should be greatly surprised if any difference of opinion existed upon it. He rejoiced to think so, for nothing was more con- ducive to the success of a measure than the unanimous support of all parties interested in it ; and he did hope and trust, that the result of that meeting would show to the world how coinciding in sentiment had been the deliberation of the dis- tinguished assembly which he then had the honour of addressing" (applause with loud coughing, and renewed cries of " question, question," " shut it up," "order, order.") — " He was dealing with it as closely, and acutely, as logic and the English language would allow (renewed uproar.) It ap- peared to him to be simply this — Divest the question of all superfluous matter, all redundant verbiage, and then, let the meeting declare that the establishment resj^ecting whose future main- tenance they had that day assembled, had been one of essential service to the place — upon that point, he had no doubt they would be unanimous — (yes, yes, we know all that). Secondly ; they 4() HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, should declare that its preservation was one or paramount importance to the place and neigh- bourhood, and then it would necessarily resolve itself into this {''cock a doodle, do T with immense laughter) — those who were of opinion that the establishment was of importance would give it their countenance and support, while on the other hand those, who were of a contrary opinion, would have nothing whatever to say to it. He regretted the apparent reluctance of some of the company to grant him a fair and extended hearing, because, without vanity, he thought that a gen- tleman like himself in the habit of attending and addressing public meetings (laughter) was likely to clear away many of the cobwebs, films, mistifi- cations, and obstructions that hung in the way of a clear and unprejudiced view and examination of the question; but such unfortunately being the case, he should content himself by simply moving the resolution which he held in his hand and would read to the company." " That it is the opinion of this meeting, that the hounds which have hitherto. hunted the vale of Sheepwash and adjacent country, have con- tributed very materially to the amusement of the inhabitants and visitors of Handley Cross Spa." Mr. Hookem, the librarian, seconded the resolution, which was put, and carried unani- mously. THE SPA HUXT. 47 Mr. Fleeceall, the solicitor, a violent Swizzleite, then stood forward to address the meeting. — He was a tallish, middle-aged, very sinister-looking, bald-headed gentleman, with a green patch over one eye, and a roguish expression in the other. He was dressed in a claret-coloured duffle-frock coat, a buff kerseymere waistcoat with gilt buttons, drab trousers, with shoes and stockings. After two or three hems and haws, he began — " Very few countries," he said, "were now without hounds — certainly non£ in the neighbourhood of a town of the size, importance, and population of Handley Cross ; a population too, he should observe, com- posed almost entirely of the aristocracy and plea- sure and health-hunting portions of society. — A couplet occurred to his recollection, which he thought was not inapplicable to the question before them, though he must observe that he introduced it without reference to any quarrel he might have had with a certain would-be medical man in the place, and without any intention of injuring that individual in the estimation of those, who were inclined to place confidence in his prescriptions ; he merely quoted the lines in illustration of his position, and as being better than his great and increasing business, not only as an Attorney at law, and Solicitor in the High Court of Chancery, but also as a Conveyancer, and Secretary of the Poor Law Board of Guardians, and Clerk of the 48 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, Mount Zion turnpike road, would allow him time to pen. They were these : " Better to rove iu fields for health unbought, Than fee the doctor for a nauseous draught;" and he was sure no one there would deny that hunting, of all pursuits, was best calculated to restore or produce health and drive away dull care, the ills and evils of life, whether in mind or body (applause). Exercise, he would say, without invidious allusion, was the best of^all medicines. They were standing in the garden of England, On every side Nature's charms were displayed around ; and Handley Cross was the capital of Beauty's empire (applause). Within her bounds an un- rivalled Spa had burst into existence, the health- giving qualities of whose gushing waters would draw people from all nations of the earth (cheers). Air, water, and exercise, he contended, would cure anything that was capable of relief (cheers). Let them, then, take measures for inducing people to enjoy the pure atmosphere from other motives than mere change of air, and the day could not be far distant when quackery would fail and hunting flourish. His business, as he said before, was great — almost overpowering; but such was his devotion to the place — such his detestation of humbug and knavery, that he would not hesitate to accept the situation of secretary to the hunt in THE SPA HUNT. 49 addition to his otlier numerous and arduous ap- pointments, and accept it too upon terms mucli lower than any other man could afford to take it at. Mr. Smith, a Hampshire gentleman one of the earliest patrons of Handley Cross Spa, who, from the circumstance of his lodging round the corner of Hookem's library, had acquired the name of "Round-the-corner Smith," next presented himself to the notice of the meeting. He was a smart, genteelly dressed man, apparently about live-and-thirty, or forty, with a tremendous impedi- ment in his speech — so troublesome was it indeed, that it was hard to say whether it was most dis- tressing to his hearers or himself. After opening a very natty single-breasted blue surtout, so as to exhibit a handsome double-breasted shawl waist- coat with a Venetian watch chain, he coughed, and commenced — not a speech, but a long string of stutters. " He felt con-sid-did-did-did-rable di-di-di-difficulty in pro-no-no-no-no-nouncing an o-p-p-p-p-pinion upon the matter under con-sid- did-did-de-ration, because he was not co-co-co- co-conversant with the c-c-country, b-b-but he t-t-took it to be an establish-lish-lished rule, that all men w ho h-h-hun-hunted regularly with a p- p-pack of ho-ho-ho-hounds, ought to contribute to their sup-sup-sup-port. — He knew something about h-h-h-hun-hunting, and if his hu-hu-hu- VOL. I. D 50 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, humble services would be of any avail, the co-co- co-country might command them. At the same time he thought, that the h-h-h-hunt would be more li-li-likely to pros-jDros-prosper if there were more ma-managers than one, and that a co-co-co- committee would be the likeliest thing under existing cir-cir-cir-circumstances to give sa-tis- tis-faction — He therefore be-be-begged to move the following resolution." — " That it is expe-pe- pedient that the Vale of She-she-sheepwash ho- ho-ho-hounds should in fu-fu-future be carried on by subscription, by a co-co-co-committee of ma- nagement, under the name of the Ha-ha-ha- handley Cross ho-ho-ho-hounds." Captain Doleful begged to propose as a fit and proper person to be associated with the honourable gentleman who had just addressed them, in the future management of the pack, his worthy, excel- lent, public-spirited, and popular friend, Augustus Barnington, Esq., of Barnington Hall, Cheshire, who, he felt convinced, would j^rove a most valuable ally not only in the field but also in superin- tending the home department, and arrangements, such as hunt dinners, hunt balls, and other enter- tainments to the ladies, which, he felt assured, it would be equally the pride of the hunt to offer, and the pleasure of the fair sex to accept." (applause) Some one then proposed, that Stephen Dump- THE SPA HUNT. 51 ling, son of the dun-pony riding doctor, should form the third. Old Dumpling was dead, leaving Stephen a nice farm, and somewhat independant, but the latter had a soul above the plough, and having got a cornetcy in the yeomanry, had started a gig and horse, and drove about with a clown at his side, with a cockade in his hat. Stephen was a goodish-looking half-farmer, half-gentleman, sort of fellow, half-buck and half-hawbuck. He was of middle stature, dark-complexioned, with dark eyes and dark hair ; but there was a sort of un- finished style about him that prevented him passing for a gentleman. If his hat was good, his boots were bad, and a good coat would be spoilt by a vulgar waistcoat, or misfitting trou- sers. He grew whiskers under his chin — smoked cigars — and rode steeple-chases. Still he was an aspiring youth, and took, as a matter of right, that which was only done to keep the farmers and landowners quiet — namely, adding him to the committee. All this being carried nem con, the uniform was next discussed, and great was the diversity of opinion as to colour. Some wanted yellow, some wanted green, others blue, some both blue and green ; in short, all gay colours had their sup- porters, but the old scarlet at length carried it, with the addition of a blue collar. D 2 52 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, But the resolutions will best describe the result of the meeting. The following is a copy : — At a meeting of the visitors and inhabitants of Handley Cross Spa, held at the Dragon Inn, in Handley Cross, on the day of to take into consideration the circumstances arising out of the lamented death of Michael Hardey, Esq., the late master of the hounds. Augustus Barnington, Esq., in the Chair. It was resolved, That it was highly expedient to continue the hunt, and remove the hounds to Handley Cross. That Augustus Barnington, Henry Smith, and Stephen Dumpling, Esquires, be appointed a committee of management. That a club be formed, called the Handley Cross Hunt Club, the subscription to be three guineas, to be paid annually in November, to which the first twenty members shall be elected by the committee, and the subsequent members by the club at large — one black ball in ten excluding. That, in order to meet the wishes of gentlemen desirous of contributing more than the annual subscription of three guineas, the treasurer be fully authorized to take as much as any one will give. That the undress uniform be a scarlet coat, with THE SPA HUNT. 53 a blue collar, and such a button as the masters may appoint, breeches and waistcoat ad libitum. That the dress uniform be a sky-blue coat, lined with pink silk, canary-coloured shorts, and white silk stockings. That any member appearing at the cover side, or at an evening meeting of the members, in any other dress, be fined one pound one, for the good of the hunt. Signed, A. Barnington, Chairman. 54 CHAPTER IV. "Then round the room the circling Dowagers sweep, Then in loose waltz their thin-clad daughters leap ; The first in lengthened line majestic swim, The last display the free unfettered limb ;" Joy, universal joy, prevailed at Handley Cross, when it became known that a committee of management had undertaken to hunt the Vale of Sheepwash. The place had not had such a lillip before — Farmers looked at their fields and their stacks, and calculated the consumption of corn. Duncan Xevin took a six-stalled stable, and putting a splendid sign of a fox peeping over a rock at some rabbits, christened it, the " NIMROD MEWS LIVERY AND BAIT STABLES. HUNTERS, HACKS, AND PERFECT LADIEs' PADS. N. B. A GLASS COACH." Emboldened by success, he scraped together five-and-twenty pounds, and asked every body he met, if he could tell him of a horse for the field. No one with money need long want a horse, but THE SPA HUNT. 55 Duncan saw so differently when purchasing, to what he did when selling, that he seemed to have two pair of eyes. To be sure, he was a good judge of a tail, and that, for a watering-place job-master, is something — " Don't tell me what Tattersall says about rat-tails," he used to observe, " I like them full, fine, and long. A horse with a full tail, looks well in the field, on the road, or in harness, and will always bring his price." His first purchase was an old roman-nosed, white-faced, white-stockinged, brown horse, that had carried the huntsman of a pack of harriers for many a-year, and was known by the distin- guished name of Bull-dog. He was a little, well- shaped, but remarkably ugly horse, and had a rheumatic aff"ection in one of his hind legs, that caused him to limp, and occasionally to go on three legs. He was never fast, and sixteen or seventeen years had somewhat slackened the pace of his youth, but he was a remarkably hard- constitutioned animal, that no one could drive beyond his speed, and he could creep through or leap almost any thing he was put to. The harriers being done up, the subscribers had handsomely presented the huntsman with his horse, which he came to offer Duncan Nevin for his stud. " He's varry like the field," observed Nevin, eying him, " but his tail's shocking shabby, more like a worn-out whitening brush 56 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, than anything else — our customers require them handsome — I fear he would only do for the field — I want them generally useful." The huntsman declared he would go twice a- week all the season, and offered to leap him over a gate — This he did so well, that Duncan Nevin priced him — fifteen pounds was all he asked, and he bought him for ten. A sixteen hands, bad bay mare, with a very large head, very light middle, and tail down to the hocks, was his next purchase for the field. She was a showy, washy, useless beast, that could caper round a corner, or gallop half-mile heats, if allowed plenty of breathing time, but invariably pulled off" her shoes at her leaps, and was a whistler to boot — she cut behind and dished before — still she had an undeniable tail, and her size, and great hocks, as she stood well- clothed and littered, gave her the appearance of a hunter. She was six years old, had never done any work — because she never could, and in all probability never would. The wags christened her De Melcis, on account of her musical powers. Fair Rosamond, a little cantering up and down white hack, stood in the third stall ; and when all the three fly-horses were in, which was never except at night, the six-stall stable was full. The news of the purchases flew like lightning, — the number was soon magnified into ten — crowds THE SPA HUNT. 57 besieged tlie mews to learn tlie terms, and the secretary wrote to know what Nevin meant to give to the hunt. Every thing now looked cheerful and bright — the hounds were the finest play-things in the world — they furnished occupation morning, noon, and night. Every man that was ever know^n to have been on horseback was invited to qualify for wearing the unrivalled uniform. Names came rolling in rapidly — the farmers, to the number of fifteen, sent in their five and ten pound notes, while the visitors were extremely liberal with their names, especially on a representation from Fleeceall, that payment might be made at their convenience — their names, the honour of their names, in short, being the principal thing the committee looked to. Dennis O'Brian put his down for five-and-twenty guineas, Romeo Simp- kins did the same for five, Abel Snorem pro- mised " to see what he could do," and all wrote, either promisingly, encouragingly, or kindly. Duncan Nevin converted a stable into a kennel and feeding-house, and gave up his wife's drying ground for an airing yard, into which the poor hounds were getting constantly turned from their comfortable benches, by one or other of the committee showing them off to his friends. Then the make, shape, and colour of every hound was discussed, and what some thought defects, others d3 58 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, considered beauties. The kennel was pretty strong in numbers, for all the old worn-out, blear- eyed hounds were scraped together from all parts of the Vale, to make a show ; while a white ter- rier, with a black patch on his eye — ^who was re-christened " Mr. Fleeceall" — and an elegantly clipped, curled, dressed, and arranged black French poodle, were engaged to attract the ladies, who seldom have any taste for fox-hounds. Every allurement was resorted to, to draw com- pany. Poor Peter soon began to feel the change of service. Instead of Michael Hardey's friendly intercourse, almost of equality, he was ordered here, there, and every where, by his numerous masters ; it was Peter here, Peter there, and Peter every where, no two masters agreeing in orders. Smith would have the hounds exercised by day-break ; Barnington liked them to go out at noon, so that he could ride with them, and get them to know him ; and Dumpling thought the cool of the evening the pleasantest time. Then Barnington would direct Peter to go on the north road, to make the hounds handy among carriages, while Dumpling, perhaps, would write to have them brought south, to trot about the downs, and get them steady among mutton ; while Smith grumbled and muttered something about " block- heads" — "knowing nothing about it." Each THE SPA HUNT. 59 committee-man had his coterie, with whom he criticised the conduct of his colleagues. Autumn " browned the beech," but the season being- backwardly, and the managers not exactly agreeing in the choice of a whipper-in, the cere- mony of cub-hunting was dispensed with, and Peter, with the aid of Barnington's groom, who had lived as a stable-boy with Sir Harry Mainwaring, was ordered to exercise his hounds among the deer parks and preserves in the neighbourhood. November at length approached ; the latest packs began to advertise ; and Kirby-gate stood fortli on the Monday for the Melton hounds. All then was anxiety ! Sadlers' shops were thronged at all hours. Griffith, the prince of whip-makers, opened an establishment containing every pos- sible variety of hunting-whip ; and Vincent ap- pointed an agent for the sale of " persuaders." Ladies busied themselves with plaiting hat-cords for their favourites, and the low green chair at the boot-maker's was constantly occupied by some gentleman with his leg cocked in the air, as if he had taken a fit, getting measured for " a pair of tops." How to commence the season most brilliantly was the question, and a most difficult one it was. Dumpling thought a " flare-up" of fireworks over night would be a flash thing ; Round-the-corner Smith was all for a hunt dinner; and after due 60 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, discussion and the same happy difference of opinion that had characterised all their other consultations, Captain Doleful recommended a hall, in the delusive hope that it would have the effect of making friends and getting sub- scribers to the hounds, and be done, as all con- templated acts are, at a very trifling expense. There was no occasion to give a supper, he said ; refreshments — tea, coffee, ices, lemonade, and negus, handed on trays or set out in the ante- room, would be amply sufficient, nor was there any necessity for asking any one from whom they did not expect something in the way of support to the hounds. Round-the-corner Smith did not jump at the proposal, having been caught in a similar speculation of giving a ball to a limited party at Bath, and had been severely mulcted in the settling ; but Barnington stood in too wholesome a dread of his wife to venture any opposition to such a measure ; and Stephen Dumpling merged his fears in the honour, and the hopes of making it pay indirectly by gaining subscribers to the hounds. The majority carried it ; and Captain Doleful spread the news like wildfire ; of course, taking all the credit of the thing to himself What a bustle it created in Handley Cross ! The poor milliner-girls stitched their fingers into holes, and nothing was seen at the tailors' windows but sky-blue coats lined with pink silk, and THE SPA HUNT. 61 canary-coloured shorts. The thing looked well, for fourteen candidates appeared all ready to owe their three guineas, for the honour of wearing the uniform, or for the purpose of getting their wives and dauo'hters invited to the ball. It was fixed for the first Monday in November, and it was arrano^ed that the hounds should meet in the neighbourhood on the following day. Meanwhile the committee of management and Doleful met every morning for the purpose of making arrangements, sending invitations, and replying to applications for tickets. The thing soon began to assume a serious aspect ; the names which at first amounted to fifty had swelled into a hundred and thirteen, and each day brought a more numerous accession of strength than its predecessor. Round-the-corner Smith's face lengthened as the list of guests increased, and Dumpling began to have his doubts about the safety of the speculation. Barningtontook it very easily for he had plenty of mone}, and the excite- ment kept his peevish wife in occupation ; and she, moreover, had plenty of friends, whom she kept showering in upon them at a most unmer- ciful rate. Every morning a footman in red plush breeches and a short jacket arrived with names to be put down for invitations. Doleful was in great favour with her, and by her request he took his place every morning at the table of 62 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, the committee-room to keep her husband " right," as she called it. Of course, with such incon- gruous materials to work with, the thing was not arranged without great difficulty and dissention. Dumpling put down his cousins, the three Miss Dobbs's, whose father was a farmer and brewer, and making pretty good stuff; " Dobbs's Ale" was familiar at Handley Cross, and his name occupied divers conspicuous signs about the town. To these ladies Mrs. Barnington demurred, having no notion of" dancing in a hop-garden;" and it was with the greatest difficulty, and only on the urgent representation of Doleful, that their rejection would cause the secession of Dumpling, that she consented to their coming. To divers others she took similar objections, many being too low^, and some few too high for her, and being the daughter of a Leeds manufacturer, she could not bear the idea of any thing connected with trade. At the adjournment of each meeting, Doleful repaired to her and reported progress, carrying with him a list of invitations, acceptances, and refusals, with a prospectus of those they thought of inviting. These latter underwent a rigid scrutiny by Mrs. Barnington, in aid of which all Doleful's local knowledge, together with Mrs. Fribble's millinery knowledge, Debrett's Baron- etage, and Burke's Landed Gentry of England, were called together, and the list was reduced by THE SPA HUNT. 63 striking out names with an elegant gold pencil- case with an amethyst seal, as she languished out her length on a chaise-longue. One hundred and fifty-three acceptances, and nineteen invitations out, were at length reported the strength of the party ; and Mrs. Barnington, after a few thought- ful moments passed in contemplating the ceiling, expressed her opinion that there ought to be a regular supper, and desired Doleful to tell Bar- nington that he must do the thing as it ought to be, if it were only for her credit. Poor Doleful looked miserable at the mention of such a thing, for Smith and Dumpling had already began to grumble and complain of the magnitude of the affair, which they had expected would have been a mere snug party among the members of the hunt and their friends, instead of beating up for recruits all the country round. Doleful, however, like a skilful militia-man, accomplished his object by gaining Dumpling over first, which he did by pointing out what an admirable opportunity it was for a handsome young man like himself, just beginning life, to get into good society, and per- haps marry an heiress ; and Dumpling, being rather a pudding-headed sort of fellow, saw it exactly in that light, and agreed to support Dcle- ful's motion, on the assurance that it made very little difference in the expence whether the eata- bles were set out lengthways on a table and called 64 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, " supper," or lianded about all the evening under the name of " refreshments." Indeed, Doleful thought the supper might be the cheaper of the two, inasmuch as it would jjrevent the pilfering of servants, and the repeated attacks of the hungry water-drinking guests. This matter settled, then came the fluttering and chopping-oif of chickens' heads, the wringing of turkeys' necks, the soaking of tongues, the larding of hams, the plucking of pheasants, the skewering of partridges, the squeezing of lemons, the whipping of creams, the stiffening of jellies, the crossing of open tarts, the colouring of custards, the shaping of blanc-mange, the making of macaroons, the stewing of pears — all the cares and concomitants of ball-making and rout-giving ; and Spain, the " Gunter" of the place, wrote off to London for four-and-twenty sponge cake foxes, with canary-coloured rosettes for tags to their brushes. The great, the important night at length arrived. The sun went down amidst a brilliant halo of purple light, illuminating the sky with a goodly promise of the coming day, but ail minds were absorbed in the events of the evening, and for once the poet's " gay to-morrow of the mind" was disregarded. Every fly in the tov/n was engaged nine deep, and Thompson and Fleuris, the opposition London and Parisian perruquiers, THE SPA HUXT. 65 had dressed forty ladies each before five. To- wards dusk, young gentlemen whose hah' " curled naturally" came skulking into their shops to get the " points taken off;" after which, quite uncon- sciously, the irons were " run through," and the apprentice boys made door-mats of their heads by wiping their dirty hands upon them under pre- t-ence of putting a little " moisture in ;" while sundry pretty maids kept handing little paste- board boxes over the counter, with whispered intimations that " it was wanted in time to dress for the ball." Master-tailors sat with their work- men, urging their needles to the plenitude of their pace ; and at dinner time there were only three gentlemen in all the place minus the canary- coloured inexpressibles, and one whose sky-blue coat could not be lined until the Lily-white-sand train brought down a fresh supply of pink silk. Doleful began dyeing his hair at three, and by five had it as dark as Warren's blacking. Mrs. Barnington did not rise until after the latter hour, having breakfasted in bed ; and young ladies, having taken quiet walks into the fields with their mammas in the morning to get up com- plexions and receive instructions whom to repress and whom to encourage, sat without books or work, for fear of tarnishing the lustre of their eyes. Night drew on — a death-like stillness reigned around, broken only by the occasional joke of a 66 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, stationary fly-man, or the passing jibe of a messen- ger from the baker's, tailor's, or milliner's. The lower rooms of all the houses at length became deserted, and lights glimmered only in the upper stories, as though the inhabitants of Handley Cross were retiring to early rest. # # # # # Again, as if by general consent, the lights descended, and in drawing-rooms where the blinds had not been drawn or curtains closed, those who stood in the streets might see ele- gantly dressed young ladies entering with their flat candlesticks in their hands, and taking up their places before the fire, placing a satin-slip- pered foot on the fender, waiting with palpitating hearts for their flys, anxious for the arrival of the appointed time, but dreading to be early. Wheels had been heard, but they had only been " taking up," none as yet having started for the ball, xlt length the clatter of iron steps, the banging to of doors, and the superfluous cry of " To the Ongar Rooms !" resound throughout the town, and the streets become redolent of animal life. A line of carriages and flys Avas soon formed in Bramber-street, and Hector Hardman the head constable, with his gilt-headed staff" in his hand, had terrible difficulty in keeping order, and the horses' heads and carriage poles in their places. Vehicles from all quarters and of every THE SPA HUNT. 67 description came pouring in, and the greetings of the post-boys from a distance, the slangings of the flymen, with the dictatorial tones of gen- tlemen's coachmen and footmen, joined with the cries of the rabble round the door, as the sky- blue coats with pink silk linings popped out, re- sembled the noise and hubbub of the opera colonnade when a heavy shower greets the de- parting company. The " Ongar Rooms" were just finished, and, with the exception of a charity bazaar for the purpose of establishing a Sunday school at Sierra Leone, had never been used. They were a hand- some suite of rooms on the ground floor, entered from the street by two or three stone steps, under a temporary canopy, encircled with evergreens and variegated lamps. From the entrance-hall, in which at each end a good fire blazed, two rooms branched off*, one for gentlemen's cloaks, the other for ladies. Immediately in front of the entrance, scarlet folding-doors with round panes opened into a well-proportioned ante-room, which again led into the ball-room. Ranged in a circle before the folding doors, stood Barnington, Smith, Doleful, and Dumpling, all grinning, and dressed in sky-blue coats with pink linings, white waistcoats, canary-coloured shorts, and white silk stockings, except Doleful, 68 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, wlio had on a crumpled pair of nankeen trousers, cut out over the instep, and puckered round the waist. Dumpling's dress was very good, and would have been perfect, had he not sported a pair of half dirty yellow leather gloves, and a shabby black neckcloth with red ends. There they all stood grinning and bowing as the entrances were effected, and Doleful introduced their numerous friends with whom they had not the happiness of a previous acquaintance. The plot soon thickened so much, that after bowing their heads like Chinese mandarins to several successive parties who came pushing their way into the room with- out receiving any salutation in return, and the blue coats with pink linings becoming too nume- rous to afford any distinguishing mark to the visitors, our managers and master of the ceremo- nies got carried into the middle of the room, after which the company came elboAving in at their ease, making up to their mutual friends as though it were a public assembly. The fiddlers next began scraping their instru- ments in the orchestra of the ball-room like horses anxious to be off, and divers puffs of the horn and bassoon sounded through the build- ing, but still the doors remained closed, and Doleful cast many a longing anxious eye towards the folding doors. Need we say for whom he THE SPA HUNT. 69 looked ? — Mrs. Barnington had not arrived. The music at length burst forth in good earnest, and Doleful, after numerous inquiries being made of him why the ball did not commence, at length asked Barnington if he thought his good lady was coming ; when most opportunely, a buzz and noise were heard outside — the folding doors flew open, and in Mrs. Barnington sailed, with her niece, Miss Rider, on her arm. Mrs. Barnington was a fine, tall, languishing- looking woman, somewhat getting on in years, but with marked remains of beauty, " sicklied over with the pale cast" of listlessness, produced by a mind unoccupied, and bodily strength un- exercised. Her features were full-sized, good, and regular, her complexion clear, with dark eyes that sparkled when lighted with animation, but more generally reposing in a vacant stare whether she was eno^ao^ed in conversation or not. In her head she wore a splendid tiara of diamonds, with costly necklace and ear-rings of the same. Her dress of the richest and palest pink satin, was girdled with a diamond stomacher, and a lengthening train swept majestically along the floor. Across her beautifully moulded neck and shoulders, in graceful folds, was thrown a white Cachmere shawl, and her ungloved arm exhibited a profusion of massive jewellery. Her entrance caused a buzz followed by silence throughout the 70 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, room, and she sailed gracefully up an avenue formed by the separation of the company, — " A queen in jest, only to fill the scene." Doleful and the managers came forward to receive her, and she inclined herself slightly towards them and the few people whom she deigned to recognize. Having, after infinite persuasion, consented to open the ball with Dumpling, and having looked round the company with a vacant stare, and ascertained that there was no one who could vie with her in splendour, she resignedly took his arm, and the ball-room door being at length thrown open, she sailed up to the top of the room, followed by countless sky-blue-coated, and canary-legged gentry, escorting their wives, daughters, or partners, with here and there a naval or military uniform mingling among the gay throng of sportsmen and variously clad visitors. Most brilliant was the scene ! The room was a perfect blaze of light, and luckless were the wearers of second-hand shoes or ball-stained gloves. There was Dennis O'Brian, towering over the head of every body else, with his luxu- riant whiskers projecting from his cheeks, like cherubs' wings on church corners, with an open shirt collar, confined by a simple blue ribbon and a superabundant display of silk stocking THE SPA HUNT. 71 and calf from below his well-filled canary-coloured shorts, — for sjnalls would be a libel on the articles that held his middle man. His dark eyes sparkled with vivacity and keenness — not the keenness of pleasure, but the keenness of plunder, for Dennis had dined off chicken broth and lemonade to be ready to "Cut the light pack or call the rattling main," as occasion might offer towards the morning. Snorem, too, had decked himself out in the uniform of the hunt, and this being his usual bed-time, he walked about the room like a man in a dream, or a tired dog looking where to lie down. Then there was Romeo Simpkins, who had just arrived by the last Lily-white-sand train, and had all his friends and acquaintances to greet, and to admire his own legs for the first time pro- truding through a pair of buff shorts. Fleeceall stood conspicuous with a blue patch on his eye, pointing out his new friends to his wife, who was lost in admiration at the smartness of her spouse, and her own ingenuity in applying the rose- coloured lining of an old bonnet to the laps of his sky-blue coat. Now the music strikes up in full chorus, and Doleful walks about the room, clapping his hands like a farmer's boy frightening crows, to get the company to take their places in a country dance ; and Mrs. Barnington, having stationed herself at 72 Handley cross ; or, the top, very complacently leads off with " hands across, down the middle, and up again," with Stephen Dmnpling, who foots it away to the utmost of his ability, followed by Round-the- corner Smith with her niece, Barnington with Miss Some-body-else, Romeo Simpkins, with Miss Trollope, Dennis O'Brian, who looks like a capering light-house, with little old Miss Mor- decai, the rich money-lender's daughter, and some thirty or forty couples after them. Mrs. Barn- ington's train being inconvenient for dancing, and having been twice trodden upon, upon reaching the bottom on the third time down the middle, she very coolly takes Dumpling's arm, and walks off to the sofa in the bay window, where, having deposited herself, she dispatches Dumpling to desire her husband not to exert himself too much, and to come to her the moment the dance is done. The country dance being at length finished, a quadrille quickly followed ; after which came a waltz, then a gallope, then another quadrille, then another waltz, then a reel ; until the jaded musicians began to repent having been so anxious for the start. Towards one o'clock, the supper-room door was heai'd to close with a gentle flap, and Doleful was seen stealing out, with a self-satisfied grin on his countenance, and immediately to proceed round the room, informing such of the company THE SPA HUNT. 73 as he was acquainted with, from having seen their names in his subscription book at the library that the next would be the " supper dance ;" a dance that all persons who have " serious inten- tions" avail themselves of, for the interesting purpose of seeing each other eat. Accordingly Dennis O'Brian went striding about the ball- room in search of little Miss Mordecai ; Captain Doleful usurped Stephen Dumpling's place with Mrs. Barnington ; Eound-the- corner Smith started after the niece, and each man invested his person, in the way of a " pair-off," to the best of his ability. Barnington was under orders for Dowager Lady Turnabout, who toadied Mrs. Barnington, and got divers dinners and pineapples for her trouble ; and Stephen Dumpling, being fairly " let into the thing," was left to lug in the two Miss Dobb's on one arm, and old mother Dobbs on the other. It was then " every man for himself." The simple-minded couples then stand up to dance, and as soon as the quadrilles are in full activity, Doleful offers his arm to Mrs. Barnington and proceeds into the supper-room, followed by all the knowing-ones in waiting. But what a splendid supper it is ! A cross table with two long ones down the centre, all set out with turkeys, chickens, hams, tongues, lobster sallads, spun sugar pyramids, towers, temples, grottoes, jellies? VOL. I. E 74 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, tarts, creams, custards, pineapples, grapes, peaches, nectarines, ices, plovers' eggs, prawns, and four- and-twenty sponge-cake foxes, with blue, red, and canary-coloured rosettes for tags to their brushes ! Green bottles with card labels, and champagne bottles without labels, with sherry, &c., are placed at proper intervals down the table, — the cham- pagne yielding a stronger crop upon the more fruitful soil of the cross table. Who ordered it, nobody knows, but there it is, and it is no time for inquiring. Shortly after the first detachment have got comfortably settled in their places, the music stops, and the dancers come crowding in with their panting partners, all anxious for lemonade or any thing better. Then plates, knives, and forks are in request; the "far gone" ones eating with the same fork or spoon, those only "half gone," contenting themselves with using one plate. Barnington is in the chair at the cross table, with a fine sporting device of a fox, that looks very like a wolf, at his back, on a white ground with '-^Floreat Scientia' on a scroll below, the whole tastefully decorated with ribbons and rosettes. Dumpling and Smith are Vice-Presidents. Hark to the clatter ! " Miss Thompson, some turkey ? allow me to send you a little ham with it?" " Mrs. Jenkins, here's a delicious lobster sallad." ** Now, Fanny, my dear, see you're dropping the THE SPA HUNT. 75 preserve over your dress !" " Oh dear ! there goes my knive !" " Xever mind, ma'am, I'll get you another." " Waiter ! bring a clean glass — two of them !" " What will you take ?" " Cham- pagne, if you please." " Delightful ball, isn't it?" " How's your sister ?" " Who'll take some pine- apple punch ?" " I will, with pleasure." " I've burst my sandal, and my shoe will come off.'' " Dear, that great awkward man has knocked the comb out of my head." " Go to see the hounds in the morning !" " Susan, mind, there's mamma looking." "Waiter! get me some jelly." "Bache- lors' balls always the pleasantest." " Barnington is married." " Oh, he's nobody .'" " Dumpling does it and stuttering Smith, there's no Mister Barnington." " There's the captain — I wonder if he sees us." " Oh the stoopid! he wont look this way. Should like to break his provoking head !" " How's your horse ? Has it learned to canter ?" " Take some tongue." " Champagne, if you please." Thus went the rattle, prattle, jabber, and tattle, until Mr. Barnington, who had long been looking very uneasy, being unable to bear the further frowns of his wife, at length rose from his seat for the most awful of all purposes, that of monopo- lizing all the noise of the room, — a moment that can only be appreciated by those who have filled the unhappy situation of chairman in a company E 2 76 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, of ladies and gentlemen, when every eye is pointed at the unfortunate victim, and all ears are open to catch and criticise what he says. " Barnington ! Barnington ! chair ! chair ! order ! order! silence!" cried a hundred voices, in the midst of which Mr. Barnington tried to steal away with his speech, but had to " whip back" and begin again. " Gentlemen and ladies, (order ! order !) I mean to say Mr. Vice-Presidents, ladies, and gentlemen (hear, hear), I beg to propose the health of the Queen — I mean to say, the ladies who have honoured us with their presence this evening." Great applause, and every man drank to his sw^eetheart. Mrs. Barnington looked unutterable things at her spouse as he sat down, for women are all orators or judges of oratory, and well poor Barnngton knew the vigour of her eloquence. Beckoning Doleful to her side she desired him to tell Barnington not to look so like a sheepish schoolboy, but to hold himself straight, and speak out as if he were somebody. This Doleful interpreted into a hand- some compliment, which so elated our unfortunate, that he immediately plucked up courage, and rising again gave the table a hearty thump, begged the company would fill a bumper to the health of the strangers who had honoured the Handley Cross hunt ball with their company. The strangers then began fidgetting and looking THE SPA HUNT. 77 out an orator among themselves, but were put out of suspense by the rising of Dennis O'Brian, who returned thanks in one of his usual felicitous and appropriate speeches, and concluded by pro- posing the health of the chairman. Barnington was again on his legs, thanking them, and giving " Success to fox-hunting," which was acknow- ledged by Snorem, who, being half asleep, mis- took it for the time when he had to propose the healths of Smith and Dumpling, to whom he paid such lengthy compliments that the ladies cut him short by leaving the room. All restraint now being removed, the gentlemen crowded up to the cross table, when those who had been laying back for supper until they got rid of the women, went at it with vigorous determination, — corks flew — dishes disappeared, song, speech, and sentiment, were huddled in together, and in a very short time the majority of the company were surprised to find themselves amazingly funny. 78 CHAPTER V. '' It is our opening day.' Handley Cross had a very debauched look the morning after the hunt ball. The Ongar rooms being lighted with windows round the top, with covered galleries outside, for the accommodation of milliners, ladies' maids, and such as wish to criticise their masters and mistresses, had no pro- tecting blinds ; and a strong party having settled themselves into "three-some" reels — the gentle- men, for the purpose of dancing themselves sober, the ladies, like Goldsmith's clown, to try and tire out the orchestra — the ball seemed well-calculated to last for ever, when the appearance of day-light in the room, made the wax-lights look foolish, and caused all the old chaperons to rush to their charges and hurry them off, before bright Phoebus exposed the forced complexions of the night. All then was hurry-skurry ; carriages were called up, and hurried off as though the plague had broken out, and Johns and Jehus were astonished at the bustle of their " mississes." The last fly at length drove off ; the variegated THE SPA HUNT. 79 lamps, round the festooned porch, began glimmer- ing and dying in succession, as Doleful and the remaining gentlemen stood bowing, grinning, and kissing their hands to their departing partners, while their blue coats and canary-coloured shorts, exhibited every variety of shade and complexion that the colours are capable of. Doleful's hair, too, assumed a vermillion hue. The town was clear, bright, and tranquil ; no sound disturbed the quiet streets, and there was a balmy freshness in the morning air, that breathed gratefully on the feverish frames of the heated dancers. The cock, " the trumpet of the morn," had just given his opening crow, in farmer Haycock's yard be- hind the rooms, and the tinkling bells of the oxen's yoke came softened on the air like the echoing cymbals of the orchestra. St. George's ^ chapel clock strikes! Its clear silvery notes fall full upon the listeners' ears. " One ! two ! three ! four ! live ! six — six o'clock !" and youths say it is not worth while going to bed, while men of sense set off without a doubt on the matter. Some few return to the supper-room to share the ends of champagne bottles and lobster salads with the waiters. Morning brought no rest to the jaded horses and helpers of the town. No sooner were the rosinantes released from the harness of the flys, than they were led to the stable-doors and wisped 80 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, and cleaned in a manner that plainly showed it was for coming service, and not for that performed. Bill Gibbon, the club-footed ostler of the " Swan Hotel and Livery Stables," had eight dirty fly- horses to polish into hunters before eleven o'clock, and Tom Turnbinn, and his deaf-and-dumb boy, had seven hunters and two flys ordered for the same hour. There was not a horse of any descrip- tion but what was ordered for the coming day, and the donkeys were bespoke three deep. If Duncan IVevin had had a dozen Bull-dogs and De Melcis, they would all have been engaged, and on his own terms too. " Oh sir !" he would say to inquirers, " that Bull-dog's a smart horse — far too good for our work — he should be in a gentleman's stable — Did you ever see a horse so like the field, now ? I'm only axin thirty pound for him, and it's really givin' of him away — I couldn't let him go out under two guineas a day, and then only with a very careful rider, like yourself — Cost me near what I ax for him, in the summer, and have had to put him into condition myself — Oats is very dear, I assure you — Perhaps you'd have the kindness not to say that he's hired, and save me the duty ?" A little before eleven, the bustle commenced ; the first thing seen was Peter leaving the kennel with the hounds, Abelard, the black poodle, and ' Mr. Fleeceall," the white terrier with a black THE SPA HUNT. 81 eye. Peter was dressed in a new scarlet frock- coat with a sky-blue collar, buff striped toilanette waistcoat, black cap, new leathers and boots. His whip, spurs, gloves, bridle, and saddle were also new, and he was riding anew white horse. Barn- ington's groom followed, similarly attired; and this being his first appearance in the character of a whipper-in, he acted fully up to the designation by flopping and cracking the hounds with his whip, and crying " Co'p, co'p, hounds ! — go on, hounds — go on ! drop it ! — leave it ! — to him, to him !" and making sundry other orthodox noises. Lamp-black was that morning in great request. Broken knees, collar and crupper marks had to be effaced, and some required a touch of lamp- black on their heads, where they had knocked the hair off in their falls. The saddling and bridling were unique ! ^o matter what sort of a mouth the horse had, the first bridle that came to hand was put into it. Stephen Dumpling's horse, having travelled from home, was the first of the regulars to make his appearance in the street. He was a great, raking, sixteen hands chesnut, with " white stock- ings," and a bang tail down to the hocks. He was decorated with a new bridle with a blue silk front, and a new saddle with a hunting horn. Stephen's lad, dressed in an old blue dress-coat of his master's, with a blue and white striped E 3 82 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, livery waistcoat, top-boots, and drab-cords, and having a cockade in his hat, kept walking the horse up and down before the Dragon Hotel, while Stephen, with a feverish pulse and aching head, kept sipping his coffee, endeavouring to make himself believe he was eating his breakfast. At last he lighted a cigar, and appeared whip in hand under the arched gate-way. He had on a new scarlet coat with a blue collar, the same old red-ended neck-cloth he had worn at the ball, an infinity of studs down an ill-fitting, badly- washed shirt, a buff waistcoat, and a pair of what are called " Dorsetshire leathers*," — a sort of white flannel, that after the roughings of one or two washings, give gentlemen the appearance of hunting in their drawers. His boots had not been " put straight " after the crumpling and creasing they had got in his " bags," consequently there were divers patches of blacking transferred to the tops, while sundry scrapings of putty, or of some other white and greasy matter, appeared on the legs. Independently of this, the tops retained lively evidence of their recent scouring in the shape of sundry up and down strokes, like the first coat of white-washing, or what house-painters call " priming," on a new door. * These breeches used to be very popular with the members of Mr. Farquharson's hunt. Probably the gentlemen cleaned their breeches and coat collars (white) with the same article. THE SPA HUNT. 8-3 Dumpling's appearance in the street was the signal for many, who were still at their breakfasts, to bolt the last bits of muffin, drink up their tea, and straddle into the passage, to look for hats, gloves, and whips. Doors opened, and sports- men emerged from every house. Round-the- corner Smith's roan mare, with a hunting horn at the saddle-bow, had been making the turn of Hookem's library for ten minutes and more ; and the stud of Lieutenant Feelall, the flash riding- master, — seven " perfect broke horses for road or field," with two unrivalled ponies — had passed the Dragon for the eight Miss Mercers, and their brother Tom, to go out upon to " see the hounds." Then sorry steeds, with sorrier equipments, in the charge of very sorry-looking servants, paced up and down High-street, Paradise-row, and the Crescent; and a yellow fly. No. 34, with red wheels, drove off" with Dumpling's nondescript servant on the box, and the three Miss Dobbs's, and Mother Dobbs, in scarlet silk pelisses, with sky-blue ribbons and handkerchiefs, inside. Jaded young ladies, whose looks belie their assertions, assure their mammas that they are not in the " least tired," step into flys and drive away through High Street, kissing their hands, bowing and smiling, right and left, as they go. Abel Snorem, having purchased a pair of new top boots, appears in the sky-blue coat, lined witli 84 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, pink silk, and the canary-coloured sliorts of the previous evening, looking very much like a high- sheriff's horse footmsin going out to meet the judges. 'Not meaning to risk his neck, al- though booted, he makes the fourth in a fly with Mr. and Miss Mordecai, and fat old Mr. Guzzle, who goes from watering-place to watering-place, trying the comparative merits of the waters in restoring appetite after substantial meals : he looks the picture of health and apoplexy. Mrs. Barnington's dashing yellow barouche comes hur- rying down the street, the bays bearing away from the pole, and the coachman's elbows sticking out in a corresponding form. Of course all the flys, horses, and passengers, that are not desirous of being driven over by " John Thomas," the London coachman, are obliged to get out of the way as fast as they can, and he pulls up with a jerk, as though he had discovered the house all of a sudden. Out rush two powdered flunkies in red plush breeches, pink silk stockings, and blue coatees, when, finding it is only their own car- riage, a dialogue ensues between them and Mr. Coachman, as the latter lounges over the box and keeps flanking his horses to make them stand out and show themselves. A few minutes elapse, and out conies the portly butler with a " Now then ! Missis coming down !" whereupon the Johnnies rush to their silver-laced THE SPA HUNT. 85 hats on the hall table, seize their gold-headed canes, pull their white Berlins out of their pockets, and take a position on each side of the barouche door. Mrs. Barnington sails majestically down stairs, dressed in a sky-blue satin pelisse, with a sky-blue bonnet, lined with pink, and a splendid white feather, tipped with pink, waving gracefully over her left shoulder. She is followed by Barn- ington and Doleful, the former carrying her shawl and reticule in one hand, and his own hunting whip in the other. Barnington, as usual, is well dressed, having on a neat-fitting, double-breasted scarlet coat, with a blue collar, and rich gilt but- tons, sky-blue cravat, canary-coloured waistcoat, well-cleaned leathers and gloves, and exquisitely polished boots, with very bright spurs. Doleful, who is rather in disgrace, for having introduced a partner to one of the three Miss Dobbses over night, and has just had a wigging for his trouble, sneaks behind, attired in a costume that would have astonished Tom Rounding himself, at the Epping Hunt. It consists of an old militia coat, denuded of its facings and trappings, made into a single-breasted hunting coat, but, for want of cloth, the laps are lined, as well as the collar covered, with blue ; his waistcoat is pea-green, imparting a most cadaverous hue to his melan- choly countenance, and he has got on a pair of old white moleskin breeches, sadly darned and 86 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, cracked at the knees, Hessian boots, with large tassels, and black heel-spurs. He carries his hat in one hand, and a black gold-headed opera cane in the other, and looks very like an itinerant con- jurer. What strange creatures ^/ze women some- times fancy ! Mrs. Barnington steps listlessly into the carriage, throws herself upon the back seat, w hile Barning- ton and Doleful deposit themselves on the front one ; the door is shut with a bang, the " Johnnies" jump up behind, " ivhit," cries the coachman to his horses, off they go, the fat butler, having fol- lowed them up the High Street with his eyes, closes the door, and away they bowl at the rate of twelve miles an hour, round the Crescent, through Jireth Place, Ebenezer Row, Apollo Terrace, past the Archery Ground, and Mr. Jackson's public gardens, and along the Appledove road, as far as the Mount Sion turnpike-gate — leaving j^edes- trians, horsemen, and vehicles of every kind, im- measurably in the distance. At the gate a crowd is assembled — Jones Deans, the " pikeman," has wisely closed the bar, and " iVo trust'' stands conspicuously across the road. As the carriage approaches, it is thrown wide open, off goes Jones's hat, Mrs. Jones Deans drops a hasty curtesy, that almost brings her knees in contact with the ground, and the little urchins on the rails burst into an involuntary THE SPA HUNT. 87 huzza. John Thomas cuts on, and turns at a canter into the grass-field on the left of the road, where poor Peter has been walking his hounds about for the last hour or more. What a crowd ! Grooms of eveiy description, with horses of every cut and character, moving up and down, and across and around the field ; some to get their horses' coats down, others to get their legs down, a few to get their horses' courage down, others to try and get them up ; some because they see others do it, and others because they have nothing- else to do. There are thirteen flys full of the young ladies from Miss Prim's and Miss Prosy's opposi- tion seminaries, the former in sky-blue ginghams, the latter in pink ; Mrs. Fleeceall driven by her dear Fleecey with a new hunting whip, in a double-bodied one-horse " chay" with four little Fleecealls stuck in behind ; Mr. Davey, the new apothecary, with his old wife, in a yellow dennet drawn by a white cart mare ; Mr. and Mrs. Hookem of the library, in Jasper Green, the donkey driver's, best ass-car ; farmer Joltem in his untaxed gig, with his name, abode, and occu- pation painted conspicuously behind ; old Tim Rickets, the furniture-broker, in a green-garden chair drawn by a donkey ; the post-man on a mule, Boltem, the billard table-keeper, and Snooks his marker, in an ass phaeton ; Donald 88 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, Mc Gratli," 'SquireArnold's" Scotcli gardener, on Master George's pony ;" and Sam Finch, the keeper, and Thomas, the coachman, on the car- riage horses. Wrapped u]3 in a large dirty Thurtell-looking witney coat with mother-of-pearl buttons, the size of half-crown pieces, in a single-horse fly, with a dirty apology for a postilion on the animal, with hands stuffed into his side jDOckets, and a hunting whip peeping above his knees, the mighty Dennis O 'Brian, wends his way to the meet, his brain still swimming with the effects of the last night's champagne. As he diverges from the road into the grass-field, he takes his hunting whip from its place, loosens the thong, and pro- ceeding to flagellate both rider and horse, dashes into the crowd in what he considers quite a " bang- up way." " ISTow, Peter, my boy !" he roars at the top of his voice, as standing erect in the vehicle he proceeds to divest himself of his elegant '' wraprascal," " be after showing us a run; for by the piper that played before Moses, I feel as if I could take St. Peter's itself in my stride. — Och blood and ounds ! ye young spalpeen, but you've been after giving that horse a gallop, — he's sweating about the ears already," he exclaims to a little charity-school boy, whom the livery stable keeper has despatched with a horse Dennis has hired for the " sason," warranted to hunt THE SPA HUNT. 89 four days a week or oftener, and hack all the rest — a raw-boned, broken-knee'd, spavined bay, with some very " going'' points about him. " Be after jumping off, ye vagabond, or I'll bate you into a powder." Romeo Simpkins then comes tit-tup-ing up on a long-tailed dun, with a crupper to the saddle, surrounded by the four Miss Merrygoes, all ringlets and teeth, and the two Miss Millers all forehead and cheeks, — the cavalcade mounted by the opposition riding-master, Mr. Higgs, who follows the group at a respectful distance to see that they do not take too much out of the nags, and to minute theu' ride by his watch. "^ Romeo is in ecstacies! He has got on an ill-made, cream-bowl-looking cap, with a flourishing ribbon behind, a very light-coloured coat, inclining more to pink than scarlet, made of ladies' habit cloth, a yellow neckcloth, his white waistcoat of the previous evening, and very thin white cord breeches that show his garters, stocking tops, and every wrinkle in his drawers ; added to which, ifter a fashion of his own, his boots are secured to his breeches by at least half a dozen buttons, and straps round the leg. The ladies think Romeo •" quite a dear" and Romeo is of the same opinion. *At most watering places " unforHinaies'' are let out by the hour — half-a-crown an hour for a three legged one ; three shillings for a horse that has four. 90 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, " Now, Barnington don't ride like a fool and break your neck," says the amiable Mrs. Barning- ton to her sapient spouse, as he begins to fidget and stir in the carriage, as the groom passes and re- passes with a fine brown horse in tip-top condition, and a horn at the saddle ; a request that was con- veyed in a tone that implied, " I hope you may, with all my heart." Then turning to Doleful, who was beginning to look very uneasy as mount- ing time approached, she added, in a forgiving tone, " Now, my dear Captain, don't let Bar- nington lead you into mischief; he's a desperate rider I know, but there's no occasion for you to follow him over every thing he chooses to ride at." Mrs. Barnington might have spared herself the injunction, for Doleful's horse was a perfect anti- dote to any extravagance ; a more perfect picture of wretchedness was never seen. It was a long, lean, hide-bound, ewe-necked, one-eyed, roan Rosinante, down of a hip, collar-marked, and crupper-marked, with conspicuous splints on each leg, and desperately broken-kneed. The saddle was an old military brass-cantrelled one, with hair girths, rings behind, and a piece of dirty old green carpet for a saddle-cloth. The bridle was a rusty Pelham, without the chain, ornamented with a dirty faded yellow-worsted front, and strong, cracked, weather-bleached reins, swelled THE SPA HUNT. 01 into the thickness of moderate traces — with the head-stall ends flapping and flying about in all directions, and the choak-band secured by a piece of twine in lieu of a buckle. The stirrups were of unequal lengths, but this could not be helped, for they were the last pair in Handley Cross ; and Doleful, after a survey of the whole, mounts and sticks his feet into the rusty irons, with a self-satisfied grin on his spectral face, without discovering their inequality. " Keep a good hold of her mouth, sir," says the fly-man groom whose property she is, gathering up the reins and placing them in a bunch in Doleful's hands ; " keep a good hold of her head, sir," he repeats, an exhortation that was not given without due cause, for no sooner did the mare find herself released from her keeper, than down went her head, up went her heels, off went the captain's hat, out flew the militia coat laps, down went the black gold-headed cane, and the old mare ran wheel-barrow fashion about the field, kicking, jumping, and neighing to the ex- quisite delight of the thirteen fly-fulls of pink and blue vouns^ ladies from Miss Prim's and Miss Prosy's opposition seminaries, the infinite satis- faction of Mrs. Fleeceall, whom Doleful had snubbed, and to the exceeding mirth of the whole field. " Help him ! save him f screams Mrs. Earning- 92 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, ton with clasped hands and uplifted eyes as the old mare tears past the barouche with her heels in the air, and the loose riding M. C. sitting like " the Drunken Huzzar" at the circus, uncon- sciously digging her with his black heel-spurs as she goes. " Oh heavens ! will nobody save him?" she exclaims ; and thereupon the two powdered footmen, half dying with laughter, slip down from behind, and commence a pursuit, and suc- ceed in catching the mare just as she had got the Master of the Ceremonies fairly on her shoulders, and when another kick would have sent him over her head. Meanwhile Mrs. Barnington faints. Fans, water, salts, vinegar, all sorts of things, are called in requisition, as may be supposed, when the queen of Handley Cross is taken ill ; nothino- but a recommendation from the new doctor that her stays should be cut, could pos- sibly have revived her. Peace is at length restored. Doleful, sorely damaged by the brass cantrel and the pommel, is taken from the " old kicking mare," as she was called at the stable, and placed alongside the expiring Mrs. Barnington in the carriage, and having had enough of hunting, Mr. John Thomas is ordered to drive home immediately. Whereupon Peter takes out his watch and finds it exactly five minutes to one, the hour that he used to be laying the cloth for Michael THE SPA HUNT. 93 Hartley's dinner, after having killed his fox and got his horses done up. Barnington having seen his wife fairly out of sight, appears a new man, and mounting his brown hunter takes his horn out of the case, knocks it against his thigh, gives his whip a flourish, and trots up to the pack, with one foot dangling against the stirrup iron. Peter salutes him with a touch of his cap, his groom whipper-in scrapes his against the skies ; and Barnington with a nod, asks Peter what they shall draw ? " Hazleby Hanger, I was thinking sir," replied Peter with another touch, " the keeper says he saw a fox go in there this morn- ing, and it's very nice lying." — " Well then, let us be going," replies Barnington, looking around the field," — " No !" roars Stephen Dumpling, taking a cigar from his mouth ; " Hoppas Hays is the place ; the wind's westerly," — wetting his finger on his tongue, and holding it up to the air, — " and if we can force him through Badger Wood and Shortmead, he will give us a rare burst over Langley Downs, and away to the sea." — " Well, what you please, gentlemen," replies Peter; " only we have not much time to lose, for the days are short, and my fellow servant here doesn't know the country; besides which we have five couple of young hounds out." — " / say Hazleby Hanger," replies Barnington with a frown on his brow, for he was unused to contradiction 94 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, from any one but liis wife. " / say Hoppas Hays," replies Dumpling loudly, with an irate look, and giving his boot an authoritative bang with his whip. — " Well, gentlemen, which ever you please," says Peter, looking confused. — " Then go to Hazleby Hanger," responds Barnington. " Hoppas Hays !" exclaims Dumpling ; mind, Peter, I'm your master." — " No more than myself," replies Barnington, " and I find the whipper-in." " Where's Smith ?" shouts Dennis o'Brian, working his way into the crowd, with his coat-pockets sticking-out beyond the cantrel of his saddle, like a poor man's dinner wallet. " Here ! here ! here !" responded half a dozen voices from horses, gigs, and flys. " No, Round-the-corner Smith I mean," replies O'Brian. " Yonder he is, by the cow-shed in the corner of the field ;" and Smith is seen in the distance in the act of exchanging his hack for his hunter. He comes cantering up the field, feehng his horse as he goes, and on being holloaed to by some score of voices or more, pulls short round and enters the crowd at a trot. " What shall we draw first. Smith ?" inquires Mr. Barnington; ' ' I propose Hazleby Hanger." " I say Hoppas Hays," rejoins Dumpling. — " Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-zleby Ha- ha-hanger, or Ho-ho-ho-ho-hoppas Ha-ha-ha-ha- hays ! I should think Fa-fa-fa-farley Pa-pa-pas- ture better than either." '* Well then, let us draw THE SPA HUNT. 95 lots," replied Dennis O'Brian, " for it's not right keep'iig gentlemen and men of fortune waiting in this way. — By the great gun of Athlone, but the Ballyshannon dogs, kept by Mr. Trodennick, would find and kill a fox in less time than you take in chaffing about where you'll draw for one. See now," added he, pulling an old Racing Calendar out of his capacious pocket, and tearing a piece into slips, " here are three bits of paper ; the longest is for Hazleby Hanger, the middle one is Hoppas Hays, and the short one shall be Farley- Pasture, and Peter shall draw ;" whereupon Dennis worked his way through the crowd, ad- vanced into the middle of the pack, and just as Peter drew a slip, Dennis's spavined steeple- chaser gave Abelard, the French poodle, such a crack on the skull as killed him on the spot. The field is again in commotion, two-thirds of the young ladies in pink ginghams burst into tears, while one of the sky blue pupils faints, and a second is thrown into convulsions and bursts her stays with the noise of a well-charged two-penny cracker. " Wlio-hoop .'" cries Dennis O'Brian, " here's blood already !" jumping off his horse and holding the expiring animal in mid air ; " Who-hoop, my boys, but we've begun the season gallantly ! killed a lion instead of a fox !" and thereupon he threw the dead dog upon the ground amid the laughter of a few pedestrians. 96 HANDLED CROSS ; OR, and the general execration of the carriaj^-e com- pany. We need not say that the sport of the ladies was over for the day. There lay poor Abelard, the only dog in the pack they really admired ; whose freaks and gambols in return for buns and queen-cakes, had often beguiled the weariness of their brothers' kennel lectures. The sparkling eye that watched each movement of the hand, was glazed in death, and the flowing luxuriance of his well-combed mane and locks clotted with gory blood — Alas, poor Abelard ! *' Oh name for ever sad ! for ever dear ! Still breathed in sighs, siill ushered with a tear ! The hounds alone seemed unconcerned at his fate, and walked about and smelt at him, as though they hardly owned his acquaintance, when " Mr. Fleeceall," the white terrier with the black patch on his eye, having taken him by the ear, with the apparent intention of drawing him about tine field, Miss Prim most theatrically begged the body, which was forthwith transferred to the bottom of her fly, to the unutterable chagrin of Miss Prosy, who was on the point of supplicating for it her- self, and had just arranged a most touching speech for the occasion. Eyes were now ordered to be dried and the young ladies were forthwith got into marching order. — Pink ginghams wheeled THE SPA HUNT. 97 off first, and when they got home, those that did not cry before, were whipped and made to cry after ; while the sky-blue young ladies had a page of Sterne's Sentimental Journey, commence ing " Dear sensibility ! source unexhausted of all that's precious in our joys or costly in our sor- rows !" &:c., to learn by heart, to make them more feeling in future. The field, reduced one half, at two o'clock set off* for Farley Pasture ; the procession consists of five flys, twenty-three horsemen, four gig-men, and a string of thirteen donkeys, some carrying double, and others with panniers full of little folk. Dumpling and Barnington look unamiable things at each other, but neither having carried his point, they ride along the sandy lane that leads to the cover in pouting sullenness. The caval- cade rides the hill that commands the cover in every quarter, where Peter and the pack wait until the long drawn file have settled themselves to their liking. The cover is an uninclosed straggling gorse of about three or four acres in extent, rising the hill from a somewhat dense patch of underwood, bounded on the east by a few weather beaten Scotch firs ; the country around being chiefly grass fields of good dimen- sions. Dumpling canters round the cover, and takes a position among the firs, while Barn VOL. I. F 98 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, ington plants himself immediately opposite ; and Smith, determined not to be outdone in impor- tance, establishes himself to the south. " Yooi in there /" cries Peter at last with a wave of his cap, his venerable grey hair floating on the breeze ; " yooi in there, my beauties /" and the old hounds, at the sound of his cheery voice, dash into the gorse and traverse every patch and corner with eagerness ; " Have at him there !" cries Peter, as Belmaid, a beautiful pied bitch , feathers round a patch of gorse near a few stunted birch and oak trees : " have at him there, my beauty !" — " yooi, wind him !" " yooi, push him !" " Talli-ho r cries Abel Snorem in a loud, deep, sonorous voice from his fly, rubbing his eyes with one hand and raising his hat in the air wdth the other ; " talli-ho ! yonder he goes." " It's a hare!" exclaims Peter ; " ifs a hare ! pray hold your tongue, sir ! pray do !" — It is too late ; the mischief is done. Three couple of young hounds that did not like the gorse, having caught view, dash after her ; and puss's screams at the corner of the ploughed field, are drowned in the horns of the masters, who commenced the most discordant toothings, puffings, and blowings as soon as Abel Snorem's talli-ho was heard. Meanwhile the whipper-in has worked his way round to the delinquents, and jumping off his horse seizes the hind quarters of puss, whereupon THE SPA HUNT. 99 Vigilant seizes him a posteriori in return, an^ makes him bellow like a bull. The masters canter round, the field rush to the spot, and all again is hubbub and confusion. " Lay it into them !" exclaims Barnington to his groom-whip- per-in ; " cut them to ribbons, the riotous brutes !" " Don't !" interposes Dumpling, " / wont have the hounds flogged ;" whereupon the ladies laud his feeling, and mutter something that sounds very like " Barnington and brute." Just as stut- tering Smith is in the midst of a long string of stammers upon the question of corporeal punish- ment, a loud, clear, shrill talli-ho is heard pro- ceeding from the neighbourhood of the fir trees, and Peter on the white horse is seen standing in his stirrups, cap in hand, holloaing his hounds away to their fox. — " Hoic together! hoic !" and the old hounds rush eagerly to the voice that has led them to a hundred glories. — "Yonder he goes by Mersham Hatch, and away for Downleigh-crag," exclaims a lad in a tree, and eyes are strained in the direction that he points. " Forrard away ! forrard." " Crack ! crack !" go a score of whips ; " talli-ho !" scream a dozen voices. " Away ! away ! away !" holloas Peter, settling himself into his saddle. " Away ! away ! away !" echoes the groom-whipper-in, as he stands rubbing himself, debating whether to mount or go F 2 loo HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, home to the doctor. Barnington races round the cover, Dumpling- takes the opposite side, followed by Smith, and Dennis O'Brian shoves his spa- vined steed straight through the cover, and goes bounding over the high gorse like a boat off a rough shore. Romeo Simpkins and his tail trot after a fat old gentleman on a black cob, dressed in a single-breasted green coat, with mahogany- coloured top-boots, and a broad-brimmed hat, who makes for Ashley Lane, from thence over Downley Hill, from whence there is a full view of the pack running like wildfire over the large grass enclosure near Ravensdeen village, with no one but Peter within a quarter of a mile of them. Away they speed : and just as Peter's white horse looks like a pigeon in the distance, and the rest diminish into black specks, a curve to the left brings them past Arthingworth clump, leaving the old tower on the right, and skirting the side of Branston Wood, far in the distance they enter upon the tract of chalky land beyond. The old gentleman's eye catches fresh fire at the sight, he takes off his low-crowned hat, and mops his bald head with a substantial snuff-coloured Bandana, and again bumps off at a trot. He pounds along the lanes, turning first to the right, then to the left ; now stopping to listen, now cutting through the backs of farm buildings, now following an almost imperceptible cart-track through a line of THE SPA HUNT. 101 field-gates, until he gains Surrenden Lane, where he pulls up short, and listens. " Hark !" he ex- claims, holding up his hand to Romeo and his female friends, who are giggling and tittering at the delightful canter they have had; " hark !" he repeats, in a somewhat louder voice. A short sharp chirp is borne on the breeze ; it is Heroine all but running mute. A deeper note follows, another, and another, which gradually swell into chorus, as the pack carry the scent across the fal- low, and get upon turf nearer hand. The old gentleman is in ecstacies. He can hardly con- tain himself. He pulls his cob across the lane ; his hat is in the air, no one views the fox but himself, the hounds pour into the lane ; — a mo- mentary check ensues. Villager speaks to it in the next field ; Dexterous has it too — and Coro- ner, Harmony, Funnylass, and Ravenous, join cry ! — they run the hedge-row — a snap and crack is heard just by the large ash-tree. — " Whoo- whoop r holloas the old gentleman, putting his finger in his ear, and Peter comes bounding over the fence and is among his pack fighting for the fox. Then up come the field, the horses heaving, panting, and blowing, all in a white lather, and the perspiration streaming off the red faces of riders. There has been a desperately jealous tussle between Barnington and Dumpling which 102 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, should ride first ; and nothing but the badness of the start has prevented their being before the hounds. Dumpling has knocked in the crown of a new eight-and-sixpenny hat ; while a strong grower that he bore before him through a stiff bull- finch, returned with a switch across Barnington's nose, that knocked all the skin off the bridge. " I claim the brush !" exclaimed Dumpling, still in the air. " No such thing !" responds Barnington, as they land together in the deep lane, from the top of the high bank with a strongly pleached hedge on the top. " I say it's mine !" " I say it is'nt !" " I say it is !" " Peter, it's mine !" " Peter it isn't !" " At your peril give it to him !" " You give it to me, or I discharge you I "Well, gentlemen," replies Peter, laying the fox before him, "whichever way you please." " Then give it me." " No, give it me." " Isn't it mine, sir?" says Dumpling, appealing to the gentleman on the cob, " my horse touched ground first, and, according to all the laws of steeple- chasing that ever I've heard, or read of, in ' Bell's Life,' or elsewhere, that's decisive." " I should say it was Squire Hartley's," observed Peter, looking at the green-coated gentleman on the cob. " Squire Hartley's !" exclaim Dumpling and Barnington at the same moment ; " Squire Hart- ley's ! How can that be ? He's not even a member THE SPA HUNT. 103 of the hunt, and doesn't give a farthing to it." " It was his cover we found in," replies Peter ; " and in old master's time, we always gave the brush to whoever was first up." " First up,'' roars Dump- ling, " why he's never been out of a trot !" " And ridden the road !" adds Barnington. " What do we know about your old master?" rejoins Dumpling, " he was, a skirting, nicking. Macadamizing old screw." " He was a better sportsman than ever you will be," replies Peter, his eyes sparkling anger as he spoke. " Let us have none of your impertinence," replies Barnington, nettled at the disrespect towards a member of the committee ; " and let me advise you to remember that you hunt these hounds for the amusement of your masters and not for your own pleasure, and you had better take care how you steal away with your fox again as you did just now." " That he ha-ha-ha-had," exclaims Round-the-corner Smith as he creeps down the side of the bank, holding by the cantrel of his saddle, into the lane, after having ridden the line with great assiduity with- out seeing a bit of the run ; " I never saw such an impudent thing done in all the whole course of my li-li-li-life before." Poor Peter made no reply. An involuntary tear started into the corner of his eye, when, having broken up his fox, he called his hounds together and turned his horse's head towards 104 HANDLEY CROSS. home, at the thought of the change he had lived to see. Arrived at Handley Cross, he fed his hounds, dressed his horse, and then, paying a visit to each of his masters, respectfully resigned the situation of " huntsman to the committee of ma- nagement of the Handley Cross fox-hounds." 105 CHAP. VI. " By holy Mary, Butts, there's knavery." — Henry VIII. " A FELLOW feeling makes us Avonderous kind," says the adage, and the present case was no ex- ception to the rule. Our three masters, having slept on their visit from Peter, met the next morning, when all jealousies were merged in abuse of the huntsman. He was every thing that was bad, and they unanimously resolved that they were extremely lucky in getting rid of him. " Anybody could hunt a pack of hounds," and the only difficulty they anticipated was the possibility of the groom-whipper-in not being sufficiently recovered from his bite from the hound to be able to take the field on the Friday, for which day the hounds were advertised to meet at Meddingley, three miles down the vale, in the cream of their countrv. Barnino-ton would have no difficulty in hunting them if any one would whip-in to him ; Dumpling was equally confident; and Smith said he had no " he-he-he-he-si-tation about the matter." It was therefore arranged that each should lend a hand, and hunt, or turn the hounds, as occasion required, and let the world F 3 106 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, at large and Peter in particular see what little occasion tliey had for his services. Meanwhile Beckford, Cook, and the Sporting Magazines, were perseveringly studied. Friday came, but like an old " Oaks day" it was very languid and feeble; there was no polishing of hack hunters, no borrowing of bridles or lending of saddles, no bustle or hurry per- ceptible in the streets ; the water-drinkers flocked to the wells as usual, and none but the regulars took the field. Among the number was our old friend Squire Hartley on his black cob, attired in the same green coat, the same brown top-boots, and the same low-crowned hat as before. Snorem and Doleful came in a gig in the inspec- tion style, and Dennis O'Brian smoked three cigars before any one looked at his watch to see how the time went. At length Squire Hartley ventured to inquire if there was any possibility of the servant having mistaken his way, whereupon it simultaneously occurred to the trio that there might be some- thing wrong. Joe had orders to bring the hounds by an unfrequented lane, so as to avoid collecting- foot people, and after another quarter of an hour spent in suspense, the field proceeded in the direc- tion they ought to come. On rising a gentle eminence out of Sandyford Lane, a scarlet-coated man was seen in the distance standing in the THE SPA HUNT. 107 middle of a ploughed field, and a fustian-coated horseman was galloping* about it, endeavouring to turn the hounds to the former, but in conse- quence of riding at them instead of getting round them, he made the hounds fly in all directions. The cavalcade then pressed on, horns were drawn from their cases, and our three masters cantered into the field, puffing, and blowing most unsatis- factory and discordant blasts. Joe then disclosed how the pack had broke away on winding a dead horse hard by, and how, after most ineffectual efforts to turn them, he had lent a countryman his horse and whip, while he stood in the field holloaing and coaxing them away. This feat being accomplished through the as- sistance of the field, the hounds, with some^vhat distended sides, proceeded sluggishly to the cover . It was a long straggling gorse on a hill side, with a large quarry hole at the far end, which, from long disuse, had grown up with broom, furze, and brushwood. The hounds seemed very easy about the matter, and some laid down, while others stood gazing about the cover. At length our masters agreed that it was time to throw off", so they began, as they had seen Peter, with a whistle and a slight wave of the hand, thinking to see the pack rush in at the signal, — no such thing: however : not a sinole hound moved a muscle, and tbxee or four of the young ones 108 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, most audaciously sat down on the spot. The gentleman on the black cob smiled. " Yooi over there !" cried Barnington, taking off his hat and standing erect in the stirrups. " Yooi over there ! get to cover, hounds, get to cover !" screamed whipper-in Joe, commencing a most furious onset among the sitters, whereupon some jumped and others crept into cover and quietly laid themselves down for a nap. Five or six couples of old hounds, however, that had not quite gorged themselves with horse-flesh, worked the cover well ; and, as foxes abounded, it was not long: before our friend on the cob saw one stealing away up the brook that had girded the base of the hills, which, but for his eagle eye, would have got off unperceived. " Talli-ho !" cried the old gentleman at last, taking off his hat on seeing him clear of the cover, and pointing southwards in the direction of Bibury Wood, a strong hold for foxes. " Talli-ho ! " responded Barnington without seeing him. " Talli-ho ! " re-echoed all the others without one having caught view ; and the old gentleman, putting the cob's head straight down the hill, slid and crawled down to the brook followed by the field. Here with much hooping holloaing, and blowing of horns, a few couple of hounds were enticed from the cover, and being- laid on to the scent, dribbled about like the tail THE SPA HUNT. 109 of a paper kite, taking precedence according to their several degrees. First old Solomon, a great black and white hound, with a strong resemblance to a mugger's mastiff, gave a howl and a towl; then Harmony chirped, and Manager gave a squeak, and old Solomon threw his tongue again, in a most leisurely and indifferent manner, causing some of the young hounds to peep over the furze bushes to see what was going on. The run, however, was of short continuance ; after crossing three grass fields they came to a greasy fallow, across which the hounds were working the scent very deliberately, when up jumped a great thumping hare, which they ran into in view at tlie well at the corner. Our sportsmen were somewhat disgusted at this, but made the best of the matter, and laid the mishap to the charge of the horse in the morning. After consuming another hour or two in draw- ing hopeless covers, and riding about the country, they entered Handley Cross just in full tide, when all the streets and shops swarmed with bright eyes and smart dresses, and each man said they had had a capital day's sport, and killed. After passing through the principal streets, the hounds and horses were dismissed, and the red coatsjwere seen flitting about till dusk. The next day, however, produced no change for the better, nor the following, nor the one after ; and the oftener they went, the wilder and 110 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, worse the hounds became. Sometimes, by dint of mobbing, they managed to kill a fox, but hares much more frequently fell a prey to the renowned pack. At length they arrived at such a state of perfection, that they would hunt almost any thing. The fields, as may be supposed, soon dwindled down to nothing, and, what was worse, many of the visitors began to slip away from Handley Cross without paying their subscriptions. To add to their misfortunes, bills poured in a-pace for poultry and other damage ; and every farmer's wife who had her hen-roost robbed, laid the blame upon the foxes. Fleeceall had the first handling of the bills, but not being a man with a propensity for settling questions, he entered into a voluminous correspondence with the parties for the laudable purpose of proving that foxes did not meddle with poultry. One evening as our masters returned home, quite dispirited after an unusually bad day, without having seen a fox ; and the hounds having run into and killed a fat wether, and seized an old woman in a scarlet cloak, they agreed to meet after dinner, to consider what was best to be done under the circumstances. On entering the room, which they did simultaneously, two letters were seen on the table, one of small size, directed to " The Gentlemen Managers of the Handley Cross Hunt-Ball and Supper," con- taining, in a few laconic items, the appalling N THE SPA HUNT. Ill amount of £290. 3s. 6d. for the expences of the memorable ball-night. The other more resembled a government-office packet than a letter, and was bound with red tape and sealed ; it was addressed to the " Honourable the Committee of Management of the Handley Cross Fox Hounds.' Barnington,more stout-nerA^ed than his colleagues, tore off the tape, when out of the envelope fell a many-paged bill, secured at the stiching part with a delicate piece of blue silk. The contents ran thus : — The Honourable Committee of Management of the Handley Cross Fox-hounds, To Walter Fleeceall, Dr. £. s. d. Sept. Attending you by especial appointment, when you communicated your desire of taking the Hounds 13' 4 Considering the subject very attentively .110 Attending Capt. Doleful, M.C.,at Miss Jelly's, the Pastry Cook's, conferring with him on the subject, when it was arranged that a Public Meeting of the Inhabitants should be called . . . . . 13 4 Dravving notice of the same . . .110 Making two fair copies thereof . .0106 Posting same at Library and Billiard Room .068 Long attendance on Capt. Doleful, M. C, arranging preliminaries, when it was agreed that Mr. Barnington should be called to the chair . . . . . 13 4 Carry forward £4 19 2 112 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, £. s, d. Brought up 4 19 2 Communicating with Mr. Barnington thereon, and advising him what to say . .110 Attending Meeting, self and clerk . . 1 10 6 Making speech on the merits and advantages of Fox-hunting, (what you please), Making minute of the appointment of the committee of manage m 6 8 Attending Capt. Doleful, M. C, by especial appointment at Miss Jelly's, when it ap- pearing advisable to conciliate the farmers, writing to Mr. Stephen Dumpling, requesting his attendance . . . .068 Attending meeting, when Mr. Dumpling's name was added to the committee, and title of hunt changed to " Handley Cross" Hounds . . . . .110 Making special minute thereof, and of ap- pointment of self as secretary . .0106 Writing 353 letters soliciting subscriptions, inviting and exhorting gentlemen to become members of the hunt, describing the uniforms, scarlet coats with blue collars in a morning, and sky-blue coals lined with pink silk, canary-coloured shorts, and white silk stock- ings in an evening, (letters very long and very pressing) . . . . 25 Writing 129 rejoinders to 129 answers from 129 gentlemen who did not readily come into the thing, pointing out the merits and advantages of fox-hunting in general, and of the Handley Cross fox-hunt in particular 10 Carry forward £44 15 6 THE SPA HUNT. 113 £ s. d. Brought up 44 15 6 Seven gentlemen refusing to subscribe on the grotmds that the hounds would hunt hare, diawing long and special affidavit that they were true to fox, and would not look at hare 2 2 Attending swearing same, and paid for oaths .068 Three gentlemen refusing to become members unless the hounds were allowed to run hare occasionally, writing to assure them their wishes would be complied with . .110 Mr. Spinnage having written to say he could not subscribe unless they occasionally hunted stags, writing to assure him that they were stag-hounds, quite as much as fox hounds . . . .068 Mrs. Margery Mumbleby having sent in a bill of ll. 8s. 6d. for four hens, a duck, and a goose, stolen by the foxes, consulting sporting records to see whether foxes were in the habit of doing such things, engaged all day, and paid Mr. Hookem.the librarian, for searching through his Sporting Magazines 2 2 Writing Mrs. Margery Mumbleby very fully thereon, and stating my firm conviction that it was not the foxes (copy to keep) . 13 4 Mrs. Margery Mumbleby not being satisfied with my answer, drawing case for the opinion of the Editor of the New Sporting Magazine, three brief sheets . . . 1 11 6 Paid carriage of parcel and booking .034 Paid him and secretary . . .246 Carried forward £55 6 6 114 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, £ S. d. Brought up 55 6 6 Carriage of parcel back, containing Editor's answer, who said he had no doubt the foxes were " two-legged" ones . . .030 Fair copy of answer for Mrs. Margery Mura- bleby, and writing her fully thereon, (copy to keep) . . . .068 Hearing that Dennis O'Brian, Esq., was going to visit his castle in Ireland, tailing at his lodgings to receive the amount of his sub- scription prior to his departure, when fhe maid-servant said, her master was not at home . . . . Calling again, same answer Ditto ditto Ditto ditto Ditto ditto Ditto ditto, when the servant said Mr. O'Brian had left this morning Much mental anxiety, postage, parcels, let- ters, &c., not before charged (what you please) Total £85 16 2 It is but justice to Mr. Fleeceall's accurate method of transacting business, to state that on the creditor side was 181. 18s. for six subscrip- tions received, and a very promising list of gen- tlemen who had not yet found it convenient to pay, amounting in the whole to some 3001. The two bills, however, sealed the fate of the committee of management, and drove the slaugh- THE SPA HUNT. 115 tered wether and scarlet-cloaked old woman of the morning out of their recollections. Shocked at his situation, Stephen Dumpling took the white-legged chesnut to Duncan Nevin, but though that worthy admitted that he was varry like the field, neither his long tail, nor his flowing mane, would induce him to offer more than twenty-five pounds for him. " I really have more horses than I can do with," repeated Mr. Nevin, " had you come last week, or the week afore, I had three gentlemen wanting horses for the season, and I could have given you more, for I should have got him kept till April, and there may be a vast of frost or snow before then, but it would not do for me to have him standing eating his head off; you know I've nothing to do with the weather," added he, " when they are once let." Had Duncan known how things stood, he would not have ofiered him more than ten. Fortunately for Stephen, Smith and Barnington being both in high credit, the chesnut was saved from the " Nimrod livery and bait stables." Still the committee was at an end, and that soon became known. " Who now was to take the hounds?" was the universal inquiry, which no one could answer. The visitors looked to the townspeople to make the move, and the towns- people wished to give them precedence. With 116 HANDLEY CROSS. the uniniated, the main qualification for a master appears to be " plenty of money." With them the great sporting objection of " he knows nothing about hunting," is unheard of. The case was urgent and the emergency great. None of the committee would touch again, and there was no engagement to hunt out the season. Puff paragraphs were tried in the Handley Cross Paul Pry, a gossiping publication, which en- livened the lists of arrivals, departures, changes of residence, parties given, &;c. with what it called the " sports of the chase," but without success. Some, to be sure, nibbled, and made inquiries as to expence and subscription, but their ultimatums were always in the negative ! Sky blue coats and pink linings were likely to be at a discount. In the midst of the dilemma, Captain Doleful's anxious mind, quickened by self interest, hit upon a gentleman made for the place — rich as Croesus, a keen and scientific sportsman — an out-and-out lover of hunting — every thing in fact that they wanted. His face wrinkled like a Norfolk biffin with delight, and he summoned Fleeceall, Hookem, the librarian, Boltem, the billiard table keeper, to Miss Jelly's, where, over a tray of hot mutton pies, most magnanimously furnished at his own expence, he arranged the scheme disclosed in the following chapter. 117 CHAPTER VII. " A man he was to all the country dear." " Where can that be from, Binjimin ?" inquired Mr. Jorrocks of his boy of all-work, as the latter presented him with a large double-headed letter, with a flourishing coat of arms seal. Mr. Jorrocks was a great city grocer of the old school, one who was neither ashamed of his trade, nor of carrying it on in a dingy warehouse that would shock the managers of the fine mahogany- countered, gilt-canistered establishment of modern times. He had been in business long enough to remember each succeeding lord mayor before he was any body — " reg'lar little tuppences in fact," as he used to say. Not that Mr. Jorrocks decried the dignity of civic honour, but his ambition took a different turn. He was for the field, and not for the forum. As a merchant he stood high — country traders took his teas v/ithout tasting, and his bills were as good as bank notes. Though an unlettered man he had great powers of thought and expression 118 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, in his peculiar way. He was " highly respectable," as they say on 'Change — that is to say, he was very rich, the result of prudence and economy — not that he was stingy, but his income out- stripped his expenses, and money like snow rolls up amazingly fast. A natural born sportsman, his lot being cast behind a counter instead of in the country, is one of those frolics of fortune that there is no ac- counting for. To remedy the error of the blind goddess, Mr. Jorrocks had taken to hunting as soon as he could keep a horse, and though his exploits had been confined to the suburban county of Surrey, he should rather be " credit'd" for keenness in following the sport in so unpropitious a region, than " debit'd" as a cockney and laughed at for his pains. But here the old adage of " where ignorance is bliss, &;c." came to his aid, for never having seen any better country than Surrey, he became impressed with the conviction that it was the " werry best," and their hounds the finest in England. "Doesn't the best of every thing come to London ?" he would ask, " and doesn't it follow as a nattaral consequence, that the best 'unting is to be had from it ?" Moreover, Mr. Jorrocks looked upon Surrey as the peculiar province of Cockneys — we beg pardon — Londoners. — His eai'liest recollections THE SPA HUNT. 119 carried him back to the days of Alderman Har- ley, and though his participation in the sport consisted in reading the meets in a boot-maker's window in the Borough, he could tell of all the succeeding masters, and criticise the establish- ments of Clayton, Snow, Maberly, and the re- nowned Daniel Haio:h. It was during the career of the latter great sportsman, that Mr. Jorrocks shone a brilliant meteor in the Surrey hunt — he was no rider, but with an almost intuitive knowledge of the run of a fox, would take off his hat to him several times in the course of a run. No Saturday seemed perfect unless Mr. Jorrocks was there ; and his great chesnut horse, with his master's coat-laps flying out beyond his tail, will long be remem- bered on the outline of the Surrey hills. These are recollections that many will enjoy, nor will their interest be diminished as time throws them back in the distance. Many bold sportsmen, now laid on the shelf, and many a bold one still going, will glow with animation at the thoughts of the sport they shared in with him. Of the start before day break — the cries of the cads — the mirth of the lads — the breakfasts at Croydon — the dear " Derby Arms," — the cheery Charley Morton* — then the ride to the meet — * Cliarley — mine host of the Derby Arms — was more given to venison than fox- 120 HANDLEY CROSS ; OH, the jovial greeting — the glorious find, and the exhilirating scrambles up and down the Surrey hills — Then if they killed ! — O, joy ! unutterable joy! How they holloaed! How they hooped! How they lugged out their half-crowns for Tom Hill, and returned to town flushed with victory and eau de vie. But we wander: — • At the time of which we speak Mr. Jorrocks had passed the grand climacteric, and balancing his age with less accuracy than he balanced his books, called himself somewhere between fifty and sixty. He was a stiff, square-built, middle- sized man, with a thick neck and a large round head. A woolly broad-brimmed lowish-crowned hat sat vfith a jaunty side-long sort of air upon a bushy nut-brown wig, worn for comfort and not deception. Indeed his grey whiskers would have acted as a contradiction if he had, but deception formed no part of Mr. Jorrocks's character. He had a fine open countenance, and though his turn up nose, little grey eyes, and rather twisted mouth, were not handsome, still there was a combination of fun and good humour in his looks that pleased at first sight, and made one forget all the rest. His dress was generally the same — a puddingey white neckcloth tied in a knot, capacious shirt frill (shirt made without collars), a single-breasted high-collared THE SPA HUNT. 121 buff waistcoat with covered buttons, a blue coat with metal ones, dark blue stockingnet pantaloons, and hessian boots with large tassels, displaying the liberal dimensions of his well-turned limbs. The coat pockets were outside, and the back buttons far apart. His business place was in St. Botolph's Lane, in the city, but his residence was in Great Coram Street. This is rather a curious locality, city people considering it west, while those in the west consider it east. The fact is that Great Coram Street is somewhere about the centre of London, near the London University, and not a great way from the Euston station of the Bir- mingham railway. Approaching it from the east which seems the proper way of advancing to a city man's residence, you pass the Foundling Hospital in Guildford Street, cross Brunswick Square, and turning short to the left you find yourself in " Great Coram Street." Neat unas- suming houses form the sides, and the west end is graced with a building that acts the double part of a reading-room and swimming bath — " literature and lavement" is over the door. In this region the dazzling glare of civic pomp and courtly state are equally unknown. Fifteen- year-old foot boys in cotton velveteens, and variously fitting coats, being the objects of ambi- VOL. I. G 122 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, tion, wliile the rattling of pewter pots about four o'clock denote the usual dmner hour. — It is a nice quiet street, highly popular with Punch and other public characters. A smart confectioner's in the neighbourhood, leads one to suppose that it is a favourite locality for citizens. We may as well introduce the other inmates of Mr. Jorrocks's house, before we return to our story, premising that they are now going to act a prominent part. Mrs. Jorrocks was the reverse of her husband in all except figure. She was a commonish- minded woman with great pretension and smat- tering of gentility. She had been reckoned a beauty at Tooting, but had outlived all, save the recollection of it — she was a dumpy figure, very fond of fine bonnets, and dressed so diffe- rently^ that Mr. Jorrocks himself sometimes did not know her. — Her main characteristics were a red snub nose, a profusion of false ringlets, and gooseberry eyes. She had married Mr. Jorrocks for his money, and he, like many mercantile men in early life, not having had much leisure to look about him, had taken her without any very exact knowledge of her character. Fortunately most of her female acquaintance being like herself, the worthy man never discovered the inferiority of his sj)ouse. THE SPA HUNT. 123 No children blessed the union, and a niece, the orphan daughter of a brother of Mr. Jorrocks, formed their family circle. Belinda Jorrocks was just entering upon womanhood — young, beautiful, and guileless, even the polishing properties of a finishing seminary had failed to contaminate the innate goodness of her heart. — In person she was of the middle size, neither too slim nor too stout, but just of that plump and pleasantly rounded form that charms all eyes, whether admirers of the tall or short. Her light brown silken hair clasped the ivory forehead of a beautiful oval face, while the delicate regularity of her lightly-pencilled eyebrows, contrasted with the long rich fringe of her large blue eyes — rosy lips and pearly teeth appeared below her Grecian nose, while her clear though somewhat pale complexion, brightened with the flush of animation when she spoke. Her waist was small, and her feet sylph like. " Where can this be from, Binj imin ?" inquired Mr. Jorrocks taking the letter before mentioned as he sat in his red morocco hunting chair in the back drawing room in Great Coram Street. " Andley Cross !" w^here is that !" said he, looking at the post-mark, " Knows no one there I think," continued he, cutting the paper on each side of the seal with a pair of large scissors kept in the capacious black inkstand before him. G 2 124 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, Having opened the envelope, a large sheet of white paper and a gilt-edged pink satin paper note presented themselves. He opened the note first. — The writing was unknown to him, so he took up the other, and folding it out proceeded to read the contents. — Thus it run — " To John Jorrocks, Esq. " Honoured Sir, " The committee of management of the Handley Cross fox-hounds being under the necessity of relinquishing their undertaking, we, the under- signed keen and determined sportsmen, having experienced the evils of a divided mastership, and feeling fully impressed with the importance of having a country hunted single-handed by a gentleman of known talent and experience, who will command the respect and obedience of his followers and the admiration of the world, look u]) to you, sir, as pre-eminently qualified for the distin- guished, honourable, and much coveted situation.'' " My vig !" exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks jumping from his chair, slapping his thigh and hopping round the table, taking up three or four holes of his face with delight — " My vig! who would ever have thought of such a thing! — O, John Jorrocks ! John Jorrocks ! you are indeed a most fortunate man ! a most lucky dog ! — dear ! — THE SPA HUNT. 125 O dear ! — Was ever any tiling so truly delightful!" Some seconds elapsed ere our worthy friend could compose himself sufficiently to look again at the letter. — At last he resumed. " When we consider, sir," it continued, " the brilliant position you have long achieved in that most illustrious of all hunts ' the Surrey,' and the glorious character you have gained as an ardent admirer of field sports, we feel most deeply and sincerely sensible that there is no one to whom we can more safely confide this im- portant trust than yourself." " Capital ! bravo ! werry good indeed !" ex- claimed Mr. Jorrock's, laying down the letter again for the purpose of digesting what he had read. " Capital indeed," he repeated, nursing one leg over the other and casting his eyes up at a dirty fly-catcher dangling over his head. — Thus he sat for some moments in mute abstraction — at length he let down his leg and took up the letter. " In conclusion, sir," it ended — " we beg to assure you that you possess alike the confidence and esteem of the inhabitants of this town and neighbourhood, and in the event of your acced- ing to our wishes and becoming the manager of our magnificent hunt, we pledge ourselves to afford you our most cordial and strenuous support, 126 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, and to endeavour by every means in our power to make you master of the Handley Cross fox- hounds, at the smallest possible expense and inconvenience to yourself. (Signed,) Miserrimus Doleful, M. C. Captain half-pay. Duncan Nevin. Alfred Boltem. Simon Hookem. Walter Fleeceall. Judas Turnbill. Michael Grasper." " Capital indeed !" exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, laying down the letter, clapping and rubbing his hands — " werry good indeed — most beautiful in fact — wot honour, I arrive at — wonder what these chaps are now," added he,saying which, in taking up the letter his eye caught the pink satin paper note. It was in the same fine lady like running- hand as the letter, and purported to be from Captain Doleful, explanatory of their motives, and vouching for the respectability of himself and brother requisitionists. Mr. Jorrocks was all delight, and being the child of impulse and generous feelings, his joy found vent in stamping on the floor, thereby summoning his servant the aforesaid Benjamin into his presence. THE SPA HUNT. 127 Benjamin, or Binjimin as Mr. Jorrocks pro- nounced the name, was one of those mischievous urchins that people sometimes persuade them- selves do the work of a man without the wages. He was a stunted, pasty-faced, white-headed, ginnified boy, that might be any age from eight to eighteen, and as idle and mischievous a brat as it was possible to conceive, sharp as a needle and quick as lightning, he was far more than a match for his over easy master, whom he cheated and deceived in every possible way. — Whatever went wrong, Benjamin always had an excuse for it, which generally transferred the blame from his own to some one else's shoulders ; a piece of ingenuity that required no small degree of dex- terity, inasmuch as the light-porter of the ware- house, Betsey, a maid of all work, and a girl under her, were all he had to divide it among. — Not a note came into the house, or a letter went out of it, but Benjamin mastered its contents ; and Mrs. Jorrocks was constantly losing things out of the store-room and closets, which never could be traced to any body. One unlucky Sunday morning, indeed, Mr. Jorrocks happened to turn back suddenly on his way to church, and caught him sitting in his easy chair at the breakfast table, reading Bell's Life in London, and scooping the marmalade out 128 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, of the pot with his thumb, when he visited Ben- jamin's back with a summary horse- whipping ; but that was the only time, during a period of three years, that he ever was caught in a scrape he could not get out of. — This might be partly attri- butable to Betsey finding it convenient to be in with Benjamin, who winked at the visits of a genteel young man from a neighbouring haber- dasher's. The poor maid under Betsey, and the light porter, who was generally absent, were therefore the usual scape-goats, or somebody else's servant, who had happened to come with a message or parcel. Such was Mr. Jorrocks's domestic establishment, which, like most masters, he either thought, or affected to think, very perfect. We left our friend stamping for Benjamin, who made his appearance as soon as he could slip down stairs and come up again, he having been watching his master through the key-hole since delivering the letter. # # # # " Now, Binjimin," said Mr. Jorrocks, eyeing him with one of his benevolent looks, and not knowing exactly what to say — " Now, Binjimin," he repeated, "Are the 'osses all right?" " Yes, sir, and the wehicle too." " Werry good," replied Mr. Jorrocks — " werry THE SPA HUNT. 129 good," taking a half-emptied pot of Lazenby's marmalade, out of a drawer in liis library table. " See now ! there's a pot of marmeyZac? for you," (Mr. Jorrock's had the knack of making the most of what he did, and treated the half pot as a whole one), and mind be a good houy, and I make no doubt you'll rise to be a werry great man — nothing gains man or houy the respect and esteem of the world, so much as honesty, sobriety, and cleanliness." Mr. Jorrocks paused — He would have finished vnth. a moral, wherein his own fortune should have furnished the example, but somehow or other, he could not turn it at the moment, so after scrutinizing Benjamin's dirty face for a second, he placed the marmalade pot in his hand, and said, " now go and wesh your mug." Uncommonly amiable and consequential was Mr. Jorrocks that morning. As he walked, or rather strutted into the city, he gave twopence to every crossing-sweeper in his line, from the black- eyed wench at the corner of Brunswick Square, to the breechless boy, with the red night cap, at St. Botolph's Lane end ; and he entered his dark and dingy warehouse with a smile on his brow, enough to illumine the dial of St. Giles's clock in a fog. Most fidgetty and uneasy was he all the morning — every foot-fall made his eyes start g3 130 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, from the ledger, and wander towards the door, in hopes of seeing some member of the Surrey, or some brother sportsman, to whom he might communicate the great intelligence. He went on 'Change with a hand in each breeches pocket, and a strut that plainly told how well he was to do with himself — still some dear-bought expe- rience had given him a little prudence, and all things considered, he determined to sleep on the invitation before he answered it — Perhaps the pro's and con's of his mind will be best displayed by a transcript of what he wrote : — "Gentlemen, " 1 have the honour to acknowledge the receipt of your favour of the 4th, and note the contents which I assure you is most grateful to my feelings — in all you have said, I most cordially goinside. — It's pleasant to see humanity estimating one's walue at the price one sets on oneself. I am a sportsman all over, and to the back-bone — 'Unting is all that's worth living for — all time is lost wot is not spent in 'unting — it is like the hair we breathe — if we have it not we die — it's the sport of kings, the image of war without its guilt, and only five-and twenty per cent of its danger. " I've no manner of doubt at all, that I'm fully qualified for the mastership of the 'Andley Cross THE SPA HUNT. 131 fox-lioimds, or any other — 'uuting lias been my 'obby ever since I could keep an 'oss, and long- before — a southerly wind and a cloudy sky are my delight — no music like the melody of 'ounds. But enough of the rhapsodies, let us come to the melodies — The £. s. d. in fact. Wot will it cost ? — In course it's a subscription pack — then say how many paying subscribers have you? Wot is the nett amount of their subscriptions — how many couple of 'ounds have you? Are they steady? Are they musical? How many days a week do you want your country 'unted ? Is stopping expensive ? Is the country stiff or light ? Are your cover's ^vide of the kennel ? Where is your kennel ? I never heard of your 'ounds before — wot stabling have you? Is 'ay and corn costly ? In course you'll have your stock of meal by you? Are there any cover- rents to pay — and if so, who pays them ? How are you off for foxes — write me fully — fairly — freely — frankly, in fact, and believe me to remain, gen- tlemen, all your's to serve, "John Jorrocks. " Great Coram Street, London^ " To Miserrimus Doleful, Esq., M. C. Captain Half-pay, Handley Cross." ^ ^ ^ * " Well, come this is more like business than any 132 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, we have had yet," observed Captain Doleful on reading the epistle — " though some of his questions will be plaguy troublesome to answer." — " What does he mean by ' are they steady V — ' Are they musical V and as to the * stopping being expen- sive,' of course that must depend a good deal upon how he lives, and whether he stops at an inn or not — It's a pity but I knew something about the matter, that I might make a satisfactory answer." Fleeceall had Blaine's Encyclopaedia of Rural Sports, but as he was thought rather too sharp, Doleful determined to try what they could do without him ; accordingly ,"^0 concocted the fol- lowing epistle, which having copied on to a sheet of sea-green paper, he sealed with yellow wax, and deposited in the post — " Dear Mr. Jorrocks, "Your kind and flattering letter has just come to hand, and I lose not a moment in supply- ing you with all the information in my power, relative to our celebrated dogs. Unfortunately the secretary to the hunt, Mr. Fleeceall, is absent on urgent business, consequently I have not access to those documents which would enable me to answer you as fully as I could wish. The dogs, as you doubtless know, are of the purest blood, THE SPA HUNT. 133 having been the property for many years of that renowned sportsman, Michael Hardey, and are bred with the very greatest care and attention. It is perhaps not going too far to say that there is not such another pack in the world. There are at present thirty-two couple of old ones, in kennel, besides an excellent white terrier with a black eye. They are very steady and most musical. Their airing yard adjoins the Ebenezer chapel, and when the saints begin to sing, the dogs join chorus. Handley Cross, where the kennel is situated, is in the most beautiful, fertile, and salu- brious part of the country, within two miles of the Datton station of the Lily-white-sand railway, and contains a chalybeate spa of most unrivalled excellence. The following is an accurate analysis of the water, taken by an eminent French phy- sician, who came all the way from Rheims for the express purpose of examining it. ONE PINT, (Wine measure.) Sulphate of Soda 21 Grains Magnesia 3| Sulphate of Lime 4^ do. Muriate of Soda 9^ do, Oxide of Iron 1 do. Carbonic Acid 1a do. " To this unrivalled spring, invalids from every 134 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, part of the world, from every quarter of the globe, flock in countless numbers ; and it is unnecessary to point out to a sportsman like yourself either the advantages that a pack of hounds confer on such a place, or the benefits accruing to the mas- ter from having the support of men with whom, to use a familiar phrase, " money is no object." Indeed I think I may safely say, that keenness is all that is required, and a gentleman like you would meet with support that would gal- vanize your most sanguine expectations. You must excuse my saying more at the present, as I have been out since day-break, and there is a piece of cold roast beef standing before me at this moment, whose beautifully marbled side, and rich yellow fat with a delicately browned outside, in conjunction with a crisp lettuce-salad in a china bowl, peremj)torily order me to conclude, which I do with the earnest exhortation for you at once to declare yourself for the high honour of the mastership of the Handley Cross hounds. Believe me to remain in extreme hunger, dear Mr. Jorrocks, very sincerely your's, MiSERRiMus Doleful, M. C, Handley Cross. Capt. half-pay." " Dash my vig !" exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, lay- ing down the letter, " what prime beef that must THE SPA HUNT. 135 be ! By jingo I almost fancy I see the joint, ■with the nice, curly, crisp, brown 'orse radish, sticking- to it in all directions. — I knows nothing better than good cold roast, tinged with red from the gravy in the centre. — Doleful must be a trump — feel as if I knew him. Keen fellow too — Peep- of-day boy — Dare say he found the fox by the drag — Oh, vot joy is that ! Nothing to compare to it — Mio-ht as well have told me more about the 'ounds though too," he observed, as a glim- merinof of caution shot across his mind — " Should like to have a fair black and wite understanding what they are to cost. I'm rich to be sure, but then a man wot's made his own money likes to see to the spending of it." Thereupon Mr. Jorrocks stuck his hands under his coat-laps and paced thoughtfully up and down the apart- ment, waving them sportively like the tail of a dolphin. Having pulled his wig about in all directions, he at last composed himself at his table, and drew up the following reply. " Dear Doleful, " Your agreeable favour has come to hand, and werry pleasant it is. It appears to be directed to two points — the salubriosity of ' Andley Cross, and the excellence of the 'ounds. On the first point I'm content — I make no doubt the water's 136 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, capital. Please tell me more about tlie 'ounds and country — Are you quite certain that people will not be backward in coming forward with the coin — I've lived a long while in the world — say a liberal half hundred — and I've never yet found money good to get — So long as it consists of pen, ink, and paper work, it comes in like the ocean ; many men can't help putting their names down to subscription lists, just as others can't help nodding at an auction, but confound it, when you come to gether in the doit's, there's an awful falling off. Howsomever, you should know best, and suppose now, as you seem full of confidence, you underwrite me for so much, according to the number of days you want the country 'unted. " Turn this over in your mind and let me know what you think of it ; also please tell me more about the 'ounds, and country, for in fact as yet I knows nothing. Are there many old hounds in the pack ? Are there many young ones to come in? What size are they? Are they level? Do they carry a good head ? Have they plenty of bone ? Cook says a weedy hound is only fit to 'unt a cat in a kitchen — I says ditto to that. What sort of condition are they in ? Can they trot out fifteen miles or so, 'unt and come back with their sterns up ? How are you off" for foxes ? Do you ever hunt a bagman ? Again I say, write to me with- THE SPA HUNT. 137 out reserve — quite freely in fact, and believe me, Your's to serve, John Joerocks. Great Coram Street, London." " To Miserrimus Doleful, Esq., M. C, Capt. Half-pay, Handley Cross Spa." This letter was a poser, for the worthy M. C. had no notion of running risks, neither had he the knowledge necessary for supplying the infor- mation Mr. Jorrocks required, still he saw the absolute necessity of persevering in the negocia- tion, as there was no probability of any one else coming forward. In this dilemma, it occurred to him that a bold stroke might be the policy, and obviate further trouble. Accordingly he wrote as follows : — " Dear Mr. Jorrocks, " Your's is just received, — I was on the point of writing to you when it came — A rival has appeared for the mastership of the hounds — a great nabob with a bad liver, to whom the doc- tors have recommended strong horse-exercise, has arrived with four posters, and an influential party is desirous of getting the hounds for him. Money is evidently no object — he gave each post- boy a half-sovereign, and a blind beggar two- 138 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, and sixpence. I have protested most strongly against his being even thought of until your final decision is known, which pray give imme- diately, and, for your own sake, let it be in the affirmative. I can write no more — My best ener- gies shall be put in requisition to counteract the sinister proceedings of others. Pray write im- mediately — No time is to be lost — In the greatest haste. Faithfully your's, MisERRiMus Doleful, M. C. Capt. Half-pay." " To John Jorrocks, Esq. Great Coram Street, London." This letter was a sad puzzler to our worthy friend. In his eyes a mastership of fox-hounds was the highest pinnacle of ambition, and the situation was the more desirable at that moment from a seism in the Surrey hunt, and the apparent decadence of that establishment. Still long experience had tinctured his naturally ardent and impetuous mind with some degree of cautio n, and he felt the importance of having some sort of a bargain before entering upon what he well knew was an onerous and expensive undertaking. The pro's and con's he weighed and turned over in his mind, and the following letter was the result of his cogitations : — THE SPA HUNT. 139 Dear Doleful, " I will candidly confess, as Raphiel said to Daniel, that to be a master of fox-'ounds, or M. F. H., would be a werry high step in the ladder of my hambition, but still like Raphiel, I should not like to pay too dear for my whistle. I doesn't wish to disparage the walue of your Nabob, but this I may say, that no man with a bad liver will ever make a good 'untsman. An 'untsman, or M. F. H. should have a good disgestion, with a cheerful countenance, and, moreover, should know when to use the clean and when the dirty side of his tongue — when to butter a boobey, and when to snub a snob. He should also be indif- ferent as to weather, and Nabobs all come from the east, where it is werry 'ot — all sunshine and no fogs. "Again, if I am right, they hunt the jackall, not at all a sporting animal, I should say, from the specimen in the Zoologicals. Still, as I said before, I doesn't wish to disparage the walue of your Nabob, who may be a werry good man, and have more money and less wit than myself. If he is to have the 'ounds, well and good — I can go on as I have been doing, with the old Surrey. If I'm to have them, I should like to know a little more about the £. s. d. Now — tell me candidly, like a good fellow, wot you think 140 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, they'll cost, and wot can be raised in the way of subscription. Of course a man that's raised to the lofty position of an M. F. H., must expect to pay something for the honour, and so far from wishing to live out of the 'ounds, I am well dis- posed to do what is liberal, but then I should like to know the extent of my liability. Dignity, in my mind, should not be too cheap, but betwixt you and I and the wall I rather mistrust a water- drinker. To be sure there be two sorts, those that drink it to save the expense of treating themselves with aught better, and those wot undergo water for the j)urpose of bringing their stomachs round to stand something stronger — Now if a man drinks water for pleasure, he should not be trusted, and ought to be called upon for his subscription in advance ; but if he drinks water because he has worn out his inside by strong libations, in all humane probability he will be a good sort of fellow, and his subscrip- tion will be underwritten for a trifle. All this may be matter of no moment to a Nabob, but to a man vot's risen from indigence to affluence by the exertions of his own head, it is of import- ance, and I should like to know wery particu- larly how many of the subscribers are woluntary water-drinkers, and how many are drinkers from necessity. THE SPA HUNT. 141 " I am, as you doubtless know, a grocer, in a large way of business, wholesale and retail, im- porting direct from China, which I suppose will be the country your Nabob comes from, and unfortunately at the present writing, my junior partner, Simon Simpkins, senior, is on a trading tour, and I can't well be wanted at the shop, otherwise I would run down and have a personal interview with you ; but I had a letter this morn- ing from Huddersfield in which he says he will be back as on Friday at farthest, therefore as the season is spending and the 'ounds should be kept going, I could, should your answer be agreeable, run down on the Saturday and make arrange- ments for taking the field immediately — Of course I presume there is every thing ready for the purpose, and a master is all wot is wanted, for I only keep two 'osses — what the lawyers call qui tain ers, ' osses that ride as well as drive,' and they would only do for my own riding. I have a sharp lad that might make a second whip, and my establishment consists of Mrs. Jorrocks, my niece, Belinda, Betsay, the maid, and Binji- min, the boy. Of course Mrs. J. as the wife of the M. F. H. would expect proper attention. . " I shall want a comfortable house to accommo- date this party, and if I could get one with stabling attached, it would be agreeable — Per- haps you may know something of the sort, the 142 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, willa style would be agreeable. I think that's all I've got to say — indeed I haven't paper for more, so shall conclude for self and partners. Your's to serve, John Jorrocks." "To Miserrimus Doleful, Esq, M. C, Capt. Half-pay, Handley Cross Spa." Doleful was in ecstacies when he got this letter, for he plainly saw the Nabob had told upon Mr. Jorrocks, and that he was fairly entering the meshes of his net. The letter indeed was unex- ceptionable, save the mention of his avocation of a grocer, which Doleful determined to keep to himself, and merely announce him as a gentleman of large fortune whose father had been connected with trade. Recollecting that Diana Lodge was to let, he forthwith secured the refusal of it at three guineas a week, and calling on Fleeceall, concocted a most flattering list of subscribers and members of the hunt, which he forwarded to Mr. Jorrocks with the following letter : " Dear Mr. Jorrocks, " By the greatest good luck in the world Diana Lodge, within a stone's throw of the kennel, came vacant this morning, and not having the slightest doubt that on inspection of the ac- companying list of subscribers to the hounds and THE SPA HUNT. 143 members of our celebrated liimt, which you will see by the letters A. and B. prefixed to their names, contain very few of those most horrible characters water-drinkers from choice, you will immediately accept the honourable office of ' Master,' I have engaged it for you at the very moderate rent of four guineas a week, including every thing. It is a cottage ornee, as you say in France, entered by an ivy-covered trellis-work arch, tastefully entwined with winter roses, now in full blow. In tlie passage is a highly polished Honduras mahogany table on claw feet castors, for hats, whips, gloves, cigar cases, &:c. On the right is a dining-room of comfortable dimensions, with another Honduras mahogany table, capable of dining eight people (the number the late Mr. Walker, author of that clever work ' The Original,' declared to be the orthodox size for a party) with a Honduras mahogany cellaret side- board with patent-locks, and a dumb-waiter on castors. The carpet is a Turkey one, and the rug a Kidderminster, of a pattern to match the carpet. On the left of the passage is a drawing- room of the same size as the dining-room, fur- nished in a style of unparalleled elegance. " The chairs, ten in number, are of massive imitation rosewood with beaded and railed backs and round knobs along the tops, and richly carved legs. In the centre is a beautiful round imitation 144 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, rosewood table on square lion-clawed brass castors, and the edge of the table is deeply inlaid with a broad circle of richly carved highly-polished brass. Against the wall, below a costly round mirror, supported by a bronze eagle in chains, is a square imitation rosewood table inlaid with satin wood in lines, containing two drawers on each side, with ivory knobs for handles. The carpet is a fine flowered pattern, richer than any thing I can describe, and the whole is wonderfully complete and surpassingly elegant. "There are four bed-rooms and a dressing-room, which holds a bed and a kitchen, back kitchen, scullery, pantry, and other conveniences. To the back is a nice little outlet of a quarter of an acre, laid out in the style of the Jar din de Plants at Paris, an d there is a splendid old patriarch of a peacock, that struts about the walls, spreads his tail, and screams delightfully. In short it appears to me to have been built with an eye to the residence of a master of hounds. " And this leads me to tell you that the Nabob has been to the kennel, attended by two Negroes? one of whom held a large green parasol over his head to protect him from the sun, while the other carried a Chinchilla fur-lined, blue silk cloak to guard him from the cold. I hear he talked very big about hunting and elephant riding, and said the waters here had done his THE SPA HUNT. 145 liver a vast deal of good. I may observe that it is possible an attempt may be made by a few trou- blesome fellows to place him at the head of the establishment, particularly if you any longer delay appearing among us ; my advice to you therefore is, to place yourself, your amiable lady, and accomplished niece, with your servants, horses, (fee, on the mid-day Lily-white-sand train, on Friday next, and make a public entry and pro- cession from the Datton station into Handley Cross, showering half-pence among the little boys as you go. I will take upon myself to muster and marshal such a procession as will have an imposing appearance, and the Nabob will be a very bold man if he makes any attempt upon the hounds after. " I need not say that your amiable lady will receive from me, as M. C. of Handley Cross, all those polite attentions that are invariably paid by all well-bred gentlemen in the dignified situ- ation I hold, more particularly from those bearing Her Majesty's Commission in the Army; and in the table of precedence among women, that I have laid down for the regulation of the aristo- cratic visitors of Handley Cross Spa, the lady of the M. F. H. comes on after the members of the Royal Family, and before all bishops' wives and daughters, peeresses, knights' dames, justices' wives, and so forth. Expecting then to meet VOL. I. H 146 HANDLEY CROSS. you at the Dattoii station on the Lily-white-sand railway, at three o'clock on Friday next, and to have the supreme felicity of making the personal acquaintance of a gentleman who so worthily fills so large a space in the world's eye, I have the honour to subscribe myself, with humble respects to the ladies, dear Mr. Jorrocks, Faithfully your's, MiSERRiMus Doleful, M. C, Capt. Half-pay." 147 CHAPTER VIII. "Admiranda tibi levium spectacula rerum." — Virg. G. 4. 3. "A mighty pomp composed of little things.'' What a fuss there was preparing for Mr. Jorrocks's reception ! — Captain Doleful was per- fectly beside himself, and ran about the town as. though he expected her Majesty. First he went to the proprietory school, and begged a half holiday for all the little boys and girls ; next he visited Mr. Whackem's mathematical seminary, and did the like by his ; Miss Prim and Miss Prosey, both promised to " suspend the duties of their respective establishments" for the afternoon ; and three infant schools were released from lessons all the day. " Jorrocks for ever," was chalked upon the walls, doors, and shutters, and little children sung out his name in lisping acclamations. Publicans looked cheerful, and livery stable keepers, ostlers, and helpers, talked about the price of hay and corn. Sebastian Mello called a meeting of the Religious Freedom Society, who voted eight-and-twenty shillings for placarding the to^vn with the following comfort- able assurance — " Fox-hunters will all go to Hell." H 2 148 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, The banner with the fox upon it, and the " Floreat Scientia" scroll, painted for the cele- brated ball and supper, was released from the darkness of Mr. Fleeceall's garret, where it had been deposited after the entertainment, and mounted on poles to lead the way in the proces- sion; while the milliners, mantua-makers, and tailors, were severally called upon to contribute silk, calico, and bunting for flags, decorations, and ribbons. Whatever Doleful demanded was necessarily ceded, so absolute was his sway over the tradespeople of the Spa. In every respect he was as great a man as a country mayor. Did a new cheesemonger, or a new hatter, or a new milk-woman, wish to settle in the place, the good will of the M. C. was invariably to be obtained, else it was to little use their troubling themselves to come ; and the perquisites and advantages derived from these sources made a comfortable addition to his yearly income, arising from the subscription book at the library. The musicians at the wells were also under his controul, and of course they received intimations to be at the Datton station before the appointed hour that Mr. Jorrocks had privately announced his inten- tion to arrive. The morning sun broke cheerfully through the clouds in a good, down-rightly, determined fine day, and as Doleful threw open the latticed case- THE SPA HUNT. 149 ment of his window, and his eye roved to the " sun bright summit" of the distant hills, he poured forth an inward ejaculation for the success of the great enterprise of the day, and for his own especial honour and emolument. In the midst of his reverie Jemima, the maid of all work and shop girl of the house, tapped gently at his door, and handed in a three-cornered note written on pink satin paper and highly musked. Doleful started as though he had seen an apparition, for in the hand he immediately recognized the writing of his great patroness, Mrs. Bar- nington, and the recollection of Mrs. Jorrocks, the table of precedence among women, whereby the latter was to supplant Mrs. Barnington, the baits and allurements he had held out for the purpose of securing the Jorrocks's, together with the honour he was then instigating the inhabitants to do Mr. J., all rushed upon his mind with terrible velocity. Nor did the contents of the note assuage the anguish of his mind. It was simply this : " Mrs. Barnington will thank Capt. Doleful to wait upon her at twenty-three minutes before eleven." " Twenty-three minutes before eleven !" ex- claimed the Captain, throwing up his hands, looking like a condemned criminal — " How lih^ her that is ! always peremptory with others and never punctual herself; well, there's no help for 150 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, it. Jemima," exclaimed he, down the narrow staircase to the girl who had returned to the shop, " my compliments to Mrs. Barnington, and say, I will make a point of being with her at the time she names. I wonder," continued he to himself, pacing up and down his little bed-room in his dressing gown and slippers, "what she can want, it must be about the Jorrocks's — and yet I could not do otherwise than I have. If she storms, I'll rebel, and trounce her for all her airs, by Jove, I will !" saying which, he clenched his fist, and, looking in the glass, brushed up the few straggling hairs that marked the place for whiskers, and felt quite valiant. His courage however rather oozed out of his finger ends, as the appointed hour approached, and at twenty-one minutes before eleven by his watch, and twenty-two and a half by the church clock, he arrived at the door of his arbitrary and capricious patroness. " Mistress is in her Boudoir," said the conse- quential butler on receiving the Captain at the hands of the footman, " but I'll send up your name. Please step into the parlour," and there- upon he turned the Captain into the dining room, and closed the door upon him. Towards twelve o'clock, just as the Captain's courage was nearly up again, and he had thrice applied his hand to the ivory knob of the bell- THE SPA HUNT. 151 spring to see which way it turned against he wanted to ring, in strutted the butler again, with " Missis's compliments, sir, and is sorry she is indisposed at present, and hopes it will not be inconvenient to you to return at ten minutes before three." — " Ten minutes before three," exclaimed the Captain as a tinge of colour rose to his pallid cheeks, " impossible !" said he, " impossible .'" Then recollecting himself he de- sired the butler to return with his respects to Mrs. Barnington, and say that at any hour next day, he would have great pleasure in waiting upon her, but that his time was completely bespoke for the whole afternoon. The butler forthwith departed, and in about three quarters of an hour, during which time Mrs. Barnington had finished a nap on the sofa, and arranged an elegant neglege toilette wherein to appear, the butler returned, and with a bow and wave of his hand announced that " Missis would see the Cap- tain," whom he preceded up stairs and handed over to Janette, the French maid, stationed at the door, who ushered the Captain into the pre- sence of Mrs. Barnino^ton in the back drawino: room. She was lying in state on a costly many- cushioned crimson and gold ottoman, dressed in a fawn-coloured robe de chambre, with a rich white Cachmere shawl thrown carelessly about her legs 152 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, below wliicli, her elegantly-formed feet in pink swan's down-lined slippers protruded. Her morn- ing cap of costly workmanship was ornamented and tied with broad satin cherry-coloured ribbons, which, with the colour of the ottoman and cushions imparted a gentle hue to her clear but delicate complexion, and her bright silky hair flowed in luxuriant tresses from the sides. She was pre- tending to read the Handley Cross Paul Pry, while with her left hand she kept applying a costly gold vinaigrette to her nose. The room was a mass of jewellery, costly furniture, and absurdities. " Good morning. Captain," said she, with the slightest possible inclination of her head. — " Janette, set a chair," which she motioned the Captain to occupy, and the maid departed. " Pray," said she, as soon as the door was closed, what is the meaning of all this to do about a Mr. Horrocks, that I read of in this morning's Paul Pry?" " Mr. Horrocks," replied the Captain, " really marm, I don't know — it's the first time I've heard the name mentioned this long time, — there was a Mr. Horrocks lived in Silenus villa the year before last, but I understood he had gone back to India." " Oh, no," replied Mrs. Barnington, " that's THE SPA HUNT. 153 quite another person these are Londoners — trades-people I hear, and the man Horrocks the paper says, is to haA'e the hounds." " Oh," says the Captain blushing to the tips of his ears, " you've mistaken the name marm. — It's Jorrocks — Mister Jorrocks of Great Coram Street — a great merchant — at least his father was. The present Mr. Jorrocks is a mighty sportsman, and hearing the hounds were without a leader, he wrote to offer himself, and some of the sporting gentry of the place have been in treaty with him to take them ; but I need not tell you, Mrs. Barnington, that hunting is not an amusement I am partial to, indeed I hope I may never have to go out again ; but you know that as Master of the Ceremonies I am obliged to countenance many things that I would gladly avoid." " True," replied Mrs. Barnington, with a smile of approbation — " I thought you would not be likely to encourage vulgar 23eople coming here merely because they dont care for breaking their necks over hedges and ditches — but tell me, isn't there a Mrs. Jorrocks?" " I understand so," replied the Captain with a hem and a haw ; " a lady of birth, they say ; but had I known you would have interested your- self in the matter, I should certainly have informed myself so as to have been able to tell you all about her." h3 154 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, " Oh dear no ! iiot for the world ! — whether as a lady of birth or a tradesman's wife, it would never do for me to concern myself about them. You know my position here is not to be contro- verted by any interlopers, be they who they may, — or come from where they will." " Undoubtedly not, marm," replied the obse- quious M. C. ; " there's not a person in the place insensible of the advantages of your presence ; but I should hope, — at least, perhaps I may ven- ture to express a slight wish, — that if these Jorrocks's appear respectable people, you will for the sake of sociability vouchsafe them the favour of your countenance, and condescend to notice them a little^ " I don't know what to say about that, my dear Captain," replied Mrs. Barnington thoughtfully. " If they appear respectable people, and if they live in a certain style, and if I thought the matter would rest at Handley Cross, and they would not obtrude their acquaintance upon me else- where, and if they appeared sensible of the obligation, I might perhaps call upon them ; but where there are so many points to consider, and so many to ascertain, it is almost needless specu- lating upon how one might act; all that we can do for the present is to maintain one's own consequence, and you know full well the only way to support a place like this, is to uphold the dignity of the chief patroness." THE SPA HUXT. 155 " No doubt," replied Captain Doleful, with a lialf-suppressed sigh as the table of precedence among women came across his mind. " I am sure. Madam, I have always been most anxious to pay you every respect and attention in my power, and if I have failed it has been owing to the multiplicity of my engagements and duties, and not from any want of inclination on my part." — " I'm sure of it. Captain ; and now let us see you back here at dinner at ten minutes past six." " With pleasure," replied the Captain, rising to depart, with a grin of satisfaction on his melan- choly visage. " Stay one moment," resumed Mrs. Barnington, the Captain was leaving the room. " The paper says these people arrive to-day. — If you chance to see them or can find anything out about them, you know, well and good — perhaps Mr. Bar- nino-ton mig-ht like to know." The clear bright beauty of the day, combined with the attraction of a stranger coming to fill so important a situation as master of fox-hounds, drew many to the Datton rail-way station, who were previously unacquainted even with the name of " Jorrocks ;" though it is but right to state that the ignorant portion consisted princi- pally of the fair sex, most men, whether sports- men or not, having heard of bis matchless fame and exploits. 156 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, All the flys, hack horses, donkeys, and ponies, were bespoke as usual ; and many set out at noon day to secure good births at the station. Pre- cisely at two o'clock Captain Doleful appeared at Miss Jelly's door, attired in a dress that would puzzle the " property man" of a theatre. It was nearly the same as he exhibited himself in on the memorable opening day of the committee of management. The old single-breasted militia coat, denuded of its facings and trappings, with a sky blue collar and sky blue linings, and a short, shrivelled, buff kerseymere waistcoat, with mother of-pearl-buttons, old white moleskin breeches, well darned and patched at the knees, and badly cleaned Hessian boots and black heel spurs. — His hands were covered with a pair of dirty- white kid gloves ; and in his right one he carried a large hunting whip. An oil-skin covered hat, secured to a button-hole of his waistcoat by a yard of sky blue penny ribbon, completed the rigging of this sporting dandy. Having withdrawn his countenance and custom from Sam Slickem after the affair of the kicking mare, (the effect of which had been considerably to impoverish Mr. Sam,) of course all the other proprietors of hack horses were on the alert to j)lease the great M. C, and on this day he was mounted by Duncan Nevin on his white mare, Fair Rosamond, who was generally honoured by THE SPA HUNT. 157 carrying pretty Miss Lovelace, the head beauty of the place — but who being unable to ride this day, it came into the hands of the Captain. To make the mare more complete, although in winter time, its ears were decorated with white fly nets and dangling tassals, and from the saddle hung a large net of the same colour and texture, with a broad fringe, completely covering her hind quarters and reaching below her hocks. Doleful eyed the whole with a grin of satisfied delight, and never did field marshal mount his charger for review, with a more self-complacent air than sat upon the brow of this distin- guished character. Having steadied himself in his stirrups, and gathered up the reins, he cast an eye through the barley sugar and cake cans in the window upon Miss Jelly, and, hissing at the mare through his teeth with a jerk of the reins, went off in a canter. A rare actioned beast it was too ! Up and down, up and down, it went so light and so easy, and yet making so little progress withal, that Ducrow himself might have envied the possession of it. Thus he went tit-tup-ping along through the silent streets, to the infinite delight of all the Johns and Jennies, who were left to flatten their noses against the windows during their masters' and mistresses' absence, and here and there exciting the anger of a butcher's dog, or farmer's 158 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, cur, that flew at the mare's heels with an indig- nant bark as she passed. Having timed himself to a nicety, our gallant M. C. arrived at the station just as the last fly and flight of donkeys drew up outside the iron- railing that runs along the railroad from the station-house, and, in the absence of Mr. Jor- rocks, of course he was the object of attraction. " Good morning. Captain Doleful," exclaimed a dozen sweet voices from all sorts of vehicles, for women will toady a master of ceremonies, be he what he will ; and thereupon the Captain gave one of his feature- wrinkling grins, and raised his oil- skin covered hat as high as the yard of penny ribbon would allow, while all the little boys and girls, for whom he had obtained half-holiday, burst into loud acclamations, as they stood or sat on Lily-white sand barrels, hazel bundles, and other miscellaneous articles, waiting for convey- ance by the railway. " Now, children, mind, be orderly, and attend to what I told you," said the Captain, eying his juvenile friends as though he were marshalling them for a quadrille. " It now wants but ten minutes to the coming of the train, so be getting yourselves in order, unfurl the flags ; and you, musicians," turning to the promenade band, who were hard at work with some XX, " be getting your instruments ready, to welcome Mr. Jorrocks with ' See the conquering hero THE SPA HUNT. 159 As the minutes flew, the scene became more inspiriting. Eyes were strained up the rail-way in the direction he was to come, and ears were opened to catch the first sound of the engine. All was anxiety and expectation. Hope and fear vacillated on every countenance. " Should he not come, what a bore !" " Oh, but he's certain to arrive, and Mrs. Jorrocks too, arn't they Captain ?" The Captain looked thoughtful and mysterious, as all great men should, but deigned no reply. 160 CHAPTER IX. We poor unfledg'd Have never wing'd from view o' the nest ; we know not What air's from home. — Shakespeahe. Precisely at three-quarters of a minute before three, a loud wild shrill whistle, that seemed to issue from the bowels of the earth and run up into mid-air, was heard at the back of Shaving- ton Hill, and, in an instant, the engine and long train rounded the base, the engine smoking and snorting like an exasperated crocodile. Nearer and nearer it comes, with a thundering sort of hum that sounds through the country. The wondering ploughman stops his team. The cows and sheep stand staring with astonishment, while the horses take a look, and then gallop about the fields, kicking up their heels and snorting with delight. The guard's red coat on the engine is visible — next his gold hat-band appears — now we read the Hercules on the engine, and anon it pulls up with a whiff, a puff, and a whistle, under the slate-covered shed, to give the Hercules his water, and set down and take up passengers and goods. Seven first-class passenger carriages fol- low the engine, all smart, clean, and yellow, with THE SPA HUNT. 161 appropriate names on each door panel — The Venus, The Mercury, The Comet, The Star, The Prince Albert, Queen Victoria, and the Prince of Wales; next come ten second class ones, green, with covered tops, and half covered sides, but in neither set is there anything at all like the Jorrocks party. Cattle-pens follow, holding sheep, swine, donkeys, and poultry ; then came an open platform with a broken britscka, followed by a curious looking nondescript one horse ve- hicle, containing a fat man in a low-crowned hat, and one of those becoming articles of dress, a drab M'Intosh cloak, which gives him the ap- pearance of sitting in a dirty shirt. Along with him sat two ladies, muffled up in cloaks, and at the back was a servant maid. From the bottom of the carriage swung a couple of large West- phalia hams, and a warming-pan. " Pray is Mr. Jorrocks here ?" inquired the elegant M. C, who had persuaded the clerk of the railway to let him in upon the line, riding his white charger to the door of the first class carriage, and raising his hat as he spoke, but getting no answer, he continued his interro- gatory down the whole set until he came to the end, when casting a despairing glance at the cattle pens, he was about to wheel about, when the gentleman in the M'Intosh sack, in a very stentorian voice, roared out, " I say, Str! Baint this the Datton station?" 162 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, " It is, Sir," replied Captain Doleful, in his most dignified manner. "Then I want to land," responded the same sweet voice. " Here's a gentleman wants to be down," observed Captain Doleful to the scarlet-coated guard, who came bustling past with a pen of geese to put upon the train. " Yes, a gentleman and two ladies," roared the hero of the M'Intosh, " Mister and Missis JoRROCKS in fact, and Miss Jorrocks !" "Bless my heart," exclaimed Captain Doleful in ecstacies, " how delighted I am to see you ! I really thought you were not coming," and there- upon the Captain raised his hat to the ladies, and offered his hand most cordially to Mr. Jorrocks. "What, you knows me do you?" replied Mr. Jorrocks, with the sort of doubtful shake of the hand that a person gives when he thinks the next moment may discover a mistake. "You knows me do you V repeated he, " you have the adwantage of me — pray who are you" " Captain Doleful, M. C," responded our worthy, presenting his card to the ladies ; and thereupon Mr. Jorrocks, with a chuckle on his good-humoured countenance, as he glanced at the Captain's incongruous habiliments, seized his hand and rung it heartily, saying, " 'Ow are ye, Doleful? 'Ow do ye do? Werry glad to see you — werry glad indeed ; 'ow's the Nabob ?" THE SPA HUNT. ' 163 " Middling, thank you," replied the Captain, with a faint bhish on his cadaverous countenance. " But hadn't you better alight and get your car- riage and things off the train ?" inquired he, glad to turn the conversation, " they'll be off with you if you don't mind," and thereupon the CajDtain beckoned the guard, and Mr. Jorrocks, standing up in the vehicle, looking very like a hay-stack with a hat on the top, shook his M'Intosh, and bounded on to the ground. Mrs. Jorrocks, in a black velvet bonnet, lined with pink satin, and her body all shrouded in a sea-green silk cloak, then accepted the offer of the Captain's arm, and descended with caution and due state ; while Belinda, with the spring of youth and elasticity in her limbs, bounded on to the foot-way beyond tlie rail. Benjamin, who was asleep at the end of the train in a covered caravan, along with the horses, being considerately kicked awake by Mr. Jorrocks, the process of unloading was com- menced and speedily finished, and the vehicle, horses, Betsey, Benjamin, Mrs. Jorrocks, Jor- rocks, Belinda, and Doleful, were all huddled together on the side of the railway, when a puff of the engine started off the train, and away it went, hissing and spitting through the quiet landscape, leaving our party to the undisturbed observation of the Handley Cross crew. A second more sent the train out of sight, and 164 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, Captain Doleful, with his usual melancholy air, heightened at the moment by the feeling of witnessing a departure, leaving his charger in the care of Benjamin, offered Mrs. Jorrocks his arm, and walked her off to the station house, followed by Jorrocks and Belinda, amid the observations and inquiries of the numerous party ranged outside the barrier. The ladies being left to arrange their toilettes, Jorrocks and Doleful joined arms in a most friendly manner, and strutted back to the carriage, the round- about sack-like figure of the one, contrasting well with the lean, lathy, mountebank appear- ance of the other. Benjamin having his hands full with the three horses, had not had time to strip off his dirty white great coat, and display his fine new sky-blue postillion jacket, with the Jorrocks crest, a " fox's head," worked in white worsted on his right arm, or yet his new patent cords and top-boots, so Mr. Jorrocks, taking the horses from him, gave him an opportunity of putting himself right, while he stood by asking Doleful a hundred questions, and expatiating on the merits of the animals. " This ere oss," says he, rubbing his hand up and down the Roman nose of a great rat-tailed brown, " I've ridden three seasons with the Sur- rey, he's never given me but one fall, and that was more my fault than his. Indeed I may say THE SPA HUNT. 165 it was mine entirely. 'Ow's this country off for foxes? Well, you see, I was chiveyin' this ere OSS along like wildfire, for it was a most special fine scentin' day — breast-high all the way^and Noddin' Homer and Tom Hills, that's our 'unts- man as was, were ridin' wiciously wenomously jealous of each other, for Tom's an honest fellow and hates a dirty 'umbug as much as myself, and by the way that reminds me to ask if you can re- commend me to an honest man to buy my forage of? Well, we blazed down Windy Hill, and past StoweyWood, just as though it were as level as this rally, when Homer, thinkin' to gain a nick, turned for Xosterly, and Tom and I rode slap for Guilsborough, where he threw a shoe, and I was left alone in my glory. I know'd the coun- try well, and sinkin' the hill, stole down Muddi- ford Lane, with the pack goin' like beans on my left, with only two men within a mile of them, barrin' a miller with his sacks, who rode uncom- mon galvanizingly. " Well, thinks I to myself, if they turn by Gatton Steep I'll have a nick, for though this 'oss was never reglarly pumped out, yet times are when he'd be better of a little more wind, and so as I rode along cranin' over the 'edge, 'oping every minute to see old Barbican, who was leadin' the pack that day, give a bend to my side, ven vot should occur but a gipsy camp half across 166 HANDLEY cross; OR, the lane, and three donkeys, two jacks and a jinney, huddled together in the other part so as to make a regular barrier, and, by the bye, did you ever read Cornish's History of the French Revolution? but, however, never mind that at present ; well, we were close upon the camp and donkeys before ever we saw them, for it was just at that sharp turn of the road where the water in' trough is — confound them, they always place pikes and troughs in the hawkwardest places — and this 'oss though with all his eyes about him, was so heager lookin' for the 'ounds, that I'm dashed if he didn't come upon them so suddenly that he hadn't time to change his leg or do no thing, consequentially he dodged first among the gipsey bairns, puttin' his foot through a sarcepan the old father gipsey was mendin', and then, fearin' mischief, he flew to the left, and cast me right on to the old jinney ass's back, who, risin" at the moment, finished the business by kickin' me ofi" into the dirtiest heap of composition for turnips I ever smelt in my life — haw, haw, haw ! I really think I wind it now. Still the 'oss is a good un — an undeniable good un. When he carries me well, I ax's three 'undred for him, at other times I'd take thirty. " This too's a grand nag !" said he, taking hold of the ear of a stiff bay with white hind legs, and a bang tail — " good at every thing — rides, drives. THE SPA HUNT. 167 'lints, and carries a 'ooman, I calls him Xerxes, cause as how ven I drives two, as I'm a doin' to-day, he goes leader, and in-course the brown, which I calls ^r^er-Xerxes, comes arter him ! Both go like the vind.— Binjimin,mind the traces, — and now be after puttin' too, your Missis will be ready by the time we get all square;" and thereupon Mr. Jorrocks began fussing and busy- ing himself with the horses and harness, and very soon had Xerxes and Arter-Xerxes in their proper places, " tandem fashion." The carriage was an old, low, open, double-bodied one, with red and black wheels, looking as much like a fire engine as any thing else, especially with the Westphalia hams and warming pan swinging from the bottom like buckets. It held four com- fortably, or five on a pinch, and the inmates were Mr. Jorrocks and his wife, Belinda, and Betsey. It was tremendously stuffed and hung about with luggage, and at the back was attached a most sporting package, consisting of two saddles done up in horse-sheeting; and through the roller which fastened them to the carriage, two stout hunting whips and a new brass horn were thrust. All things being ready, Mr. Jorrocks gave Ben- jamin a "leg up" on to Xerxes, and gathering up the reins of his wheeler in a most workmanlike manner stepped into the vehicle, and preceded by Captain Doleful on the white charger, drove 168 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, up to the station-house door, to the infinite delight of all the spectators outside the rails? amid the puffings, scrapings, and tootlings of the musicians, the pointing of children, the unfurling of flags, and general movement of the meeting. Mrs. Jorrocks and Behnda had improved the few minutes in the station-house, and with the aid of Betsey and a looking-glass had put to rights any little disorder the joltings and blow- ings of the journey had occasioned. Having cast her sea-green wrapper, Mrs. Jorrocks shone forth in a superb scarlet brocade pelisse, so bright and dazzling that even in Great Coram Street, or St. Pancras Church, it acted as a load-stone on the eyes of the beholders, and now in the quiet country was almost overpowering. She looked like a full-blown peony. Belinda, the young, the fair, the beautiful Belinda, was the picture of innocence and health. Her large lustrous blue eyes, with their long silken lashes, shone " sweetly lambent " from beneath a drab silk drawn bonnet lined with blue, across which a rich black veil was thrown; a smile hovered round her ruby lips, disclosing the beau- tiful regularity of her pearly teeth; while the late rapid movement through the air, joined with the warmth of the station-house, and the excitement of the scene, had imparted a slight flush to a delicate, but beautifully clear complexion. Her THE SPA HUNT. 169 shining brown hair, drawn across her forehead in the Madonna style, was confined with a narrow band of blue velvet, while a rich well-fitting drab silk pelisse displayed the symmetry of her exqui- sitely rounded figure. Her beautifully formed feet were enclosed in well-fitting patent leather shoes, whose ties winding up a not over thin ankle, were lost in the vandyke flounces of her trousers. The station-house and buildings completely concealed our party from the spectators outside, consequently Mr. Jorrocks had time to make all those comfortable dispositions of the persons of his suite as are always desirable in public proces- sions, but are sometimes driven out of the heads even of the most experienced paraders, by the inquisitive observations of many hundred eyes. Captain Doleful having been duly presented, and all being ready, Mr. Jorrocks took Belinda upon the draw-out seat next himself, then fol- lowed Mrs. Jorrocks upon the other regular seat, while Betsey bundled in behind, among Dundee marmalade pots, tea caddies, lump-sugar, Copenhagen cherry brandy, seed cakes, currants and things of all sorts Having given a knowing cast over his left shoulder to see that all Avas right, Mr. Jorrocks cried out, " Now, Binjimin, follow the Captain," and giving Arter-Xerxes a touch with the point of the whip, passed from the VOL. I. I 170 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, screen formed by the station-house, to the folding iron gates at the side, which being thrown open at the approach of the Captain, they made a splendid turn oflP the railway line among the crowded space outside. " Huzza ! huzza ! huzza I huzza ! huzza ! huzza !" exclaimed a hundred voices ; " Huzza ! huzza !" responded a hundred more, amid the roll of drums, the puffing of the horns, the flapping of the flags, and the waving of handkerchiefs from those whose aristocratic ideas precluded the expression of clamorous ap- plause. Doleful stopped Benjamin on the leader, and Mr. Jorrocks pulling short up, stood erect in the vehicle, and taking off his low-crowned hat bowed and waved it repeatedly to the com- pany, while Mrs. Jorrocks acknowledged the compliment by frequent kisses of her hand, and Belinda's face became suffused with blushes at the publicity and novelty of her situation. — Having sufficiently exercised their lungs, hats began to rest upon their owner's heads, hand- kerchiefs were returned to their reticules, and amid a general buzz and exclamation of applause, a rush was made at the carriage to get a closer view of Belinda. " By Jove, what a beautiful girl !" exclaimed Captain Percival (a new comer) to his friend Mr. Drummond, eyeing Belinda through his glass. " Did you ever see such eyes?" inquired a second. THE SPA HUNT. 171 " Handsomest creature I ever beheld !" ob- served a third. "What a quiz the old girl is," remarked another. " Is she her daughter ?" inquired a third of Captain Doleful, who was busy marshalling the procession. " Lots of money I suppose !" said another. " He looks like a rich fellow, with that great sack of a M'Intosh." " The servant girl's not bad looking." " Miss for my money," said another, " I'm in love with her already." " I wish she'd stand up and let's see her size." " I lay a guinea she's a clipper." " There's a hand ! I'll be bound for it she has a good foot and ancle. None of your hairy-heel'd ones." " He looks like a jolly old dog," observed another. " We shall have lots of dinners, I dare say." Doleful's face wrinkled into half its usual size with delight, for he plainly saw he had made a hit ; and most fortunate were those men who had cultivated his friendship through the medium of the subscription books at the libraries, for the two guinea subscribers were immediately pre- sented to the trio, while the guinea men were let in at intervals as the procession moved along the i2 172 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, road. Nor should we omit to mention, for the instruction of all other M. C.'s, that thirteen new names were put down that evening, so that Dole- fuPs prospects were brighter than ever. The first burst of applause having subsided, the party got settled into the order of the day, as laid down in the programme of the worthy M. C. First went the proprietory school children, eighty boys and a hundred and nine girls, three a-breast, with sundry pocket handkerchief banners. Next came the " Fox and Floreat Scientia " flag, on double poles so as to stretch across the road ; the musicians, two drummers, two horn blowers, two fiddlers, and a fifer, were planted behind it ; after which came three glazed calico flags, of various co- lours in stripes, followed by Whackem's mathema- tical seminary, and the rabble at large. Then came another large double flag, in broad stripes of scarlet and white, with the words " Jorrocks for EVER !" done in black letters; Doleful's own place was immediately after this, but of course during the progress to Handley Cross, he kept along-side the carriage of the distinguished strangers. The flys, gigs, ponies, donkeys, chaises, &c. followed on in a long drawn line, just as they could jostle in, for the Captain knew the high hedges on each side of the narrow road would do more towards keep- ing them in order than all the injunctions and remonstrances he could lay down or use. THE SPA HUNT. 173 Mrs. Jorrocks was delighted! — Never before did she think anything either of hunting or her husband, but now the former seemed a most delightful amusement, and Jorrocks appeared a perfect hero. He too was charmed with his reception, and grinned and nudged Belinda with his elbow, and cast a sly wink over his shoulder at Betsey, as they jumbled along the road, and the compliments of the crowd came showering among them. Then he turned his eyes up to heaven as if lost in reflection and bewilderment at the honour he had arrived at. Anon he caught the point of his whip and dropped it scientifically along Arterxerxes' side, then he began to whistle, when Captain Doleful having resigned the side of the carriage on which Mrs. Jorrocks was sitting to Captain Percival, came round to say a few nothings to our worthy friend. "Well, Miserrimus," said Jorrocks, opening the conversation as though he had known him all his life, " you see I'm down upon you as the extinguisher said to the rushlight — always say you carn't be too quick in catchin' a flea. — 'Ow's thelS'abob?" " Middling, thank you," again replied the Captain, — "yowVe looking uncommonly well I'm sure," said he eyeing Mr. Jorrocks as he spoke. " Oh me r replied Jorrocks, " bless you I'm never bad — never except I gets a drop too much. 174 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, as will happen at times in the best regulated families, you know, Miserrimus." Whereupon Mr. Jorrocks, with a knowing grin, gave Doleful a dig in the ribs with the but-end of his whip — saying, " have you got any of that ' cold roast ' you told me of in your letter ?" " Why no, Mr. Jorrocks, it's all gone, but there's plenty more in Handley Cross. It's the best place for beef I know. — Indeed for every- thing." " You'll be desperation fond of 'unting I s'pose," observed Mr. Jorrocks, after a slight pause, flourishing his whip over his head, and giving a knowing look at Doleful's accoutrements. " It's the only thing worth living for in my mind," replied Captain Doleful. "By jingo! so say I," rejoined Mr. Jorrocks; " all time's lost that's not spent in 'unting. — Give us your hand, Miserrimus, my houy, for you must be a trump — a man after my own 'eart!" and thereupon Jorrocks gave him such a shaking as nearly sent him off" his horse. "That'll be your kiver (cover) 'ack (hack) I presume," observed Mr. Jorrocks after their hands were released, as he cast his eye at the white. " He goes up and down like a yard and a half of pump water." Doleful did not know whether this was meant as a compliment or otherwise, so he "grinned THE SPA HUNT. 175 liorridly a ghastly smile," and asked Mr. JoiToeks if he was fond of music. " Music !" said Mr. Jorrocks, yes, the music of the 'ounds — none o' your tamboureenin' work. Give me the real ough, ougli, oiigh, of a fine deep-toned 'ound in the depths of a rocky dell, as he drags up to old Reynard among the brush-wood," and as he spoke, Mr. Jorrocks snuffed the air and threw his head about as thouo-h he were feelino; for a scent himself. — " What sort of fencin' have you?" " Fencing !" repeated Captain Doleful thought- fully — " fencing, why we've had none, I think, since the theatre closed." " Humph !" said Mr. Jorrocks, that's queer — never knew a play-actor in my life with the slightest turn for 'unting." The foremost in the procession having reached the outskits of the town, a halt was made to allow the pedestrians to knock the dust off their shoes, and get their voices ready for shouting. Doleful rode along the line exhorting them to order and regularity, and directing the streets through which the procession should pass, taking particular care to keep wide of the Barnington's. A considerable accession was here made to their strength by numerous groups of ladies and gen- tlemen, who, attracted by the fineness of the day, and a little natural curiosity, had wandered 176 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, out to see what sort of an animal a Cockney master of hounds was. Miss Prim and Miss Prosey's seminaries too turned out in their pink and blue ginghams, and came up just at the period of the halt, — all the grooms and helpers of the town who could not get to the station now flocked to swell the throng. The hubbub and confusion was excessive, and they pushed, and elbowed, and fought to get near the carriage to have a close view of Mr. Jorrocks. " My eyes but he's a fat un !" exclaimed Mr. Giblets the butcher to his foreman, " it would be a credit to a butcher to supply such a gemman as him ;" whereupon he thrust a card into Mr. Jorrocks's hand, containing his name, trade, and place of abode. This was a signal for the rest, and im- mediately a shoal of cards were tendered from persons of all callings and professions. Lucy Sandey would mangle, wash, and clear-starch; then Hannah Pye kept the best potatoes and green-groceries in general ; Tom Hardy supplied milk at all hours ; George Dodd let Donkeys by the day or hour ; Samuel Mason offered the card of the Bramber livery stables, where there was a lock-up coach-house; Susan Muddle hoped the ladies would drink with her at the Spa at a shilling a week, and glass found. Then there was a wine-merchant's card, followed by lodging- house keepers' without end, and a chimney-sweep's. THE SPA HUNT. 177 All in advance being now ready, Captain Doleful came grinning and capering through the crowd, and announced to the ladies that they were about to enter the town, and informed Mr. Jorrocks that they would first of all proceed to the Dragon Hotel, from the balcony of which it woukl have a good effect if he would address the meetins:. Without waiting; for Mr. Jorrocks's assurance that he " didn't know what to say," he I^laced himself in advance of Benjamin, and raised his hunting whip as a signal to the musicians, who immediately struck up " See the conquering hero comes," and the cavalcade proceeded. The boom of the drums, the twang of the horns, and the shouts of the children, brought every human being to the doors, windows, and verandahs, and there was such running, and rushing, and fighting to see the conquering hero, and such laughing among the servant maids at the ample dimen- sions of his shoulders, with as many observations upon his retinue, as would fill a chapter of themselves. After passing the long line of villas that stud the road in the Mount Sion direction, the caval- cade turned into Arthur Street, where the noise and bustle increased ten-fold. Shop-lads, no longer to be restrained, rushed out in defiance of their masters' holloas, some hastily putting up the shutters, others leaving the shops to take I 3 178 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, eare of themselves. Bazaars, fancy shops, jew- ellers, &;c. were drawn of both buyers and sellers ; and as the " Floreat Scientia" banner rounded the turn into High Street, an advancing mob from the other end of the town charged with such vigour as sent both poles through Stevenson's, the hatter's, window, damaging a dozen paste- board boxes, being the principal part of his stock in trade. Nothing was heard above the clamour but the boom of the drums, and the occasional twang of a horn, while Captain Doleful's redcoat, and his horse's white head, seemed borne upon the shoulders of the multitude. Thus they pro- ceeded in stately array down High Street, and neared the Dragon Hotel. At length they got the carriage up to the arched door, and the party alighted amid a tre- mendous burst of applause. Captain Doleful having tendered his arm to Mrs. Jorrocks, Be- linda took her uncle's, and no sooner did Betsey get out of the back seat of the carriage than a whole host of little dirty boys scrambled in to obtain a better view, making desperate havoc among the Dundee marmalade, and Copenhagen cherry brandy, to the infinite indignation of Ben- jamin, who roared lustily from the leader that he would " oss-vip 'em" all round. Being ushered into the balconied apartment of the first floor front, Captain Doleful took a hasty THE SPA HUNT. 179 review of his person at the looking-glass, placing the few straggling hairs in the most conspicuous manner over his forehead, and loosening his oil- skin-covered hat from his scarlet coat, advanced with out-squared toes and elbows to present him- self to the notice of the meeting. His appearance in the balcony was the signal for a universal roar, amid which, the drums and wind instruments did their duty. After bowing and grimacing most condescendingly to the meet- ing below, silence was at length obtained, and he proceeded to address them as follows : — " Ladies and gentlemen, — ladies and gentle- men," he repeated, laying the emphasis on the word ladies, and grinning like an elderly ape on all around, " encouraged by your smiles, by your applause, for, without you, as Mr. Campbell the poet beautifully inquires, 'What is man ? — a world without a sun,' I present myself to your notice to perform an act that I verily and conscientiously believe will prove most conducive to the interest, the happiness, and general welfare of this thriving and important town." Here the Captain placed his fore finger on his lip, and, according to pre- vious arrangement with the drummers, they rumbled with their drums, and the children gave some loud huzzas, in conjunction with such of the mob as were troubled with a turn for shouting. " Ladies and gentlemen," he resumed, " I stand 180 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, not here for the gratification of the paltry personal vanity of addressing this distinguished assembly, but I present myself to your notice, in discharge of the high, the onerous, the honourable and all- important office of Master of the Ceremonies of this renowned Spa, to introduce to your notice one of the most distinguished, the most deter- mined, the most popular, and the most scientific sportsmen England, or any other country, ever saw (loud cheers). Need I say, gentlemen, that this illustrious individual is the great and re- nowned Mr. Jorrocks — a name familiar to our ears as household words — so familiar that it is even chalked on the walls of our town ; and it is indeed a high — a 'flattering circumstance to my mind, that I — even I — the humble individual who now stands before you, should have been the means of procuring for a town that I love so ar- dently, a man of such unequalled excellence and such distinguished worth." Here Doleful being rather blown, put his finger upon his lip again, upon which the drums rumbled, the horns twanged, and a round of applause was brewed up. He resumed, — " Gentlemen, the temporary cloud that obscured the brightness of our delightful town has passed away ! another and a brighter sun has risen, beneath whose fos- tering rays, prosperity, bright, unequalled pros- perity, shall renovate our homes, and draw forth THE SPA HUNT. 181 blessings from your grateful hearts (cheers). This, gentlemen, is a thought that repays me for a world of trouble, and believe me that in all the changes and chances of this eventful life, amid all the frowns of life's vicissitudes, the bright re- collection of this hour will furnish consolation that a thousand woes will not outweigh (great applause). Let me not, however, ladies and gen- tlemen, dwell too long on the part I have happily, but unworthily played in this transaction. Let me not stand between that bright constellation of sporting knowledge and the indulgence of your curiositv. Rather let me withdraw, with a bosom o'erflowing with heart-felt gratitude for the ho- nours your kindness has heaped upon me, and introduce to your notice our great and illustrious stranger." Here Doleful squared out his elbows and bowed most humbly and condescendingly, first to the front, then to the east and west, and, courtier-like, backed from the balcony into the room, amid loud and long-continued cheers. While he was delivering himself of all this eloquence, Mrs. Jorrocks was busy inside the room preparing her husband for presentation to the meeting. Having made him take off his M'Intosh, she brushed his blue coat over, rubbed the velvet collar right, put bigwig straight, and wiped the dust off his Hessian boots with a corner of the table-cover. Doleful came backinc: in, and 182 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, nearly upset Jorrocks as he was standing on one leg by the table, undergoing the latter operation. " Now it's your turn, Mr. Jorrocks," observed the Captain, on the former recovering his equi- librium, and thereupon they joined hands and advanced into the balcony, like the Siamese twins, amid the uproarious applause of the meeting. " 'Ow are ye all ?" said Mr. Jorrocks with the greatest familiarity, nodding round to the meeting, and kissing his hand. " 'Ope's you are well. Now my frind, Miserrimus, having spun you a yarn about who I am, and all that sort of thing, I'll not run his foil, but get upon fresh ground, and say a few words about how matters are to be managed. " You see I've come down to be master of your 'ounds, and first of all I'll explain to you what / means by the word master. Some people call a man a master of 'ounds wot sticks an 'orn in his saddle, and blows when he likes, but leaves every thing else to the 'untsman. That's not the sort of master of 'ounds I mean to be. Others call a man a master of 'ounds w^ot puts in the paper Mr. So-and-so's 'ounds meet on Monday, at the Loin o' Lamb ; on Wednesday, at the Brisket o' Weal ; and on Saturday, at the Frying-pan ; and after that, jest goes out or not, as suits his conwenience — but that's not the sort of master of 'ounds I means to be. Again, some call themselves mas- THE SPA HUNT. 183 ters of 'ounds, Trhen tliey pay the difference atwixt the subscription and the cost, leaving the manage- ment of matters, the receipt of money, payment of damage, and all them sort of partiklars, to the secre- tary. But that's not the sort of master of 'ounds I means to be. Still, I means to ride with an 'orn in my saddle. Yonder it is, see," said he, point- ing to the package behind the carriage, "a reg'lar Percival, silver mouth-piece, deep cup'd — and I means to adwertise the 'ounds in the paper, and not go sneakin' about like some of them beg- garly Cockney 'unts, that look more as if they were goin' to rob a hen roost than 'unt a fox, but havin' fixed the meets, I shall attend them most punctual and regler, and take off my 'at (hat) to all payin subscribers as they come up (cheers). This, I thinks, will be the best way of doin' business, for there are some men wot don't care a copper for owin' the master money, so long as the matter rests at^dxt themselves, and yet who would not like to see me sittin' among my 'ounds with my 'at slouched over my eyes, takin' no more notice of them than if they were as many pigs, as much as to say to ali the gem- men round, ' these are the nasty, dirty, seedy screws wot don't pay their subscription.' "In short, I means to be an M. F. H. in reality, and not in name. When I sees young chaps careerin' o'er the country without lookin' at the 184 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, 'ounds, and in all humane probability not knowin' or carin' a copper where they are, and I cries, ' 'old 'ard !' I shall expect to see them pull up, and not wait till the next fence fatches them too." Here Mr. Jorrocks made a considerable pause, whereupon the cheering and drumming was re- newed, and as it died away, he went on as fol- lows : — " Of all sitivations under the sun, none is more enviable or more 'onerable than that of a master of fox-'ounds ! Talk of a M. P. ! vots an M. P. compared to an M. F. H. ? Your M. P. lives in a tainted h'atmosphere among other M. P.'s and loses his consequence by the commonness of the office, and the scoldings he gets from his con- stituents, but an M. F. H. holds his levee in the stable, his levee in the kennel, and his levee in the 'unting field — is great and important every where — has no one to compete with him, no one to find fault, but all join in doing honour to him to whom honour is so greatly due (cheers). And oh, John Jorrocks ! my good frind," continued the worthy grocer, fumbling the silver in his small clothes with upturned eyes to heaven, " to think that you, after all the ups and downs of life — the crossins and jostlins of merchandise and ungovernable trade — the sortin of sugars — the mixing of teas — the postins of ledgers, and handiin of inwoices, should have arrived at this THE SPA HUNT. 185 distinguished post, is most miraculously wonder- ful, most singularly queer. Gentlemen, this is the proudest moment of my life ! (cheers.) I've now reached the top-rail in the ladder of my h'ambition ! (renewed cheers). Binjimin !" he hollowed out to the boy below, " Binjimin! I say, give an eye to them' ere h' articles behind the chay — the children are all among the Copen- hagen brandy and marmeylad ! Vy don't you voUop them ? Vere's the use of furnishing you with a vip, I vonder ?" "To resume," said he, after he had seen the back of the carriage cleared of the children, and the marmalade and things put strait. "'Unting, as 1 have often said, is the sport of kings — the image of war wihtout its guilt, and only five-and-twenty per cent, of its danger. To me the clink of the couples from a vipper-in's saddle is more musical than any notes that ever came out of Greasey's mouth. I dosen't wish to say nothin' in dispa- ragement of no man, but no Nabob that ever was foaled, loves 'unting better than me. It's the werry breath of my body ! The liver and bacon of my existence ! I dosen't know what the crazeyologists may say, but I believes my head is nothin' but one great bump of 'unting (cheers). 'Unting fills my thoughts by day, and many a good run I have in my sleep. I'm none of your fine, dandified, Rotten-row swells, that only ride 186 HANDLEY CROSS. out to ride 'ome again, but I loves tlie smell of the mornin' li'air, and the worry mud on my tops when I comes home of an evenin' is dear to my 'eart, (cheers). Oh, my frinds ! if I could but go to the kennel now, get out the 'ounds, find my fox, have a good chivey, and kill him, for no day is good to me without blood. I'd — I'd — I'd — drink three pints of port after dinner instead of two ! (loud cheers.) That's the way to show Diana your gratitude for favours past, and secure a continuance of her custom in future (cheers). But that we will soon do, for if you've " ^ 'Osses sound, and dogs 'ealthy, Earths well-stopped, and foxes plenty,' no longer shall a master be wantin' to lead you to glory (loud cheers). I'll not only show you how to do the trick in the field, but a scientific course o' lectors shall train the young idea in the art at 'ome. I've no doubt we shall all get on capitally — fox 'unters are famous fellers — tell me a man's a fox-hunter, and I loves him at once. We'll soon get acquainted, and then you'll say that John Jorrocks is the man for your money. At present I've done — hoping worry soon to meet you all in the field — for the present I says adieu." Hereupon Mr. Jorrocks bowed, and kissing his hand, backed out of the balcony, leaving his auditory to talk him over at their leisure. 187 CHAPTER X. "A slippery and subtle knave." — Shakspeare. When Mr. Jorrocks backed from the balcony into the " Moon," after delivering the luminous address reported in our last chapter, Captain Doleful looked at his watch, and found it wanted but ten minutes to the time he was to appear at the board of her imperial majesty, Mrs. Bar- nington, so ringing for Mr. Snubbins, the land- lord of the Dragon, he hastily consigned the party to his protection, and, quitting the room, ran through the town like a lamplighter, to re-arrange his toilette at his lodgings. Off went the old militia coat, the white moleskins and Hes- sians made way, with pantomimic quickness, for a black coat and trousers, which, with the shrivelled buff waistcoat, and a pair of broad- stringed pumps, completed the revised edition of the arbiter elegantiarum of Handley Cross Sjia. The crowded incidents of the hour left no time for reflection, and fortunate, perhaps it was, for 188 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, the Captain, that he had no time to consider of what had taken place, or even his creative genius might have discovered some little difficulty in reconciling the discrepancies that existed between his professions and performances. So quick, however, were his movements, and the transition of events, that John Trot, the under butler, who was one of the audience before the Dragon, had not time to detail the doings of the day to Mr. Mountain, the butler, to tell to Mrs. Stumps, the housekeeper, for the information of Jeanette, to carry in broken English to her mistress, ere Captain Doleful's half resolute knock announced his arrival at the door. " Why here's old wo-begone himself, I do believe!" exclaimed John, just as he had got so far in his narrative as the intrusion of the flag- poles into Mr. Stevenson's the hatter's window. " It is, indeed," added he, casting his eye through the grating of the area at the Captain, as he stood above ; I declare he has pealed off* his uniform, and come like a Christian. Dirty brute, it arn't possible he can have washed him- self, for I saw him bolt out of the Dragon not three minutes afore I left, and I only looked in at the Phoenix and Flower-pot, and took one glass of hot elder wine, and came straight home ;" saying which, John, in the absence of Sam, the footman, settled himself leisurely into his THE SPA HUNT. 189 coatee, and proceeded to let the Captain into the house. " The dog's come to dine," said John, on his return, " and precious hungry he is, I dare say, for he don't allow himself above two feeds a week they say. However, I gave him a bit of conso- lation, by telling him that missis had laid down at four o'clock, with orders not to be disturbed, and therefore it might be eight or nine o'clock before they dined ; but ' Sir,' says I, ' there's the Morning Post,' so I left him to eat that, and precious savage he looked. IN; ow, I declare on the honour of a gentleman, of all the shabby screws I ever came thwart of in the whole of my pro- fessional career, that Doleful is the dirtiest and meanest. T'other night it was raining perfect wash-hand-stand basins full, and after sitting master out to bed, and missis until she began to yawn, he mustered courage to do the expensive, and asked me to fetch him a fly. Well, never had I seen the colour of his coin, often and often as he has darkened our door, and come with his nasty jointed clogs, dirty cloaks, and wet num- brellas ; but thinks I to myself, this surely will be catching time, and it 'ill all come in a heap in the shape of a golden sovereign pound cake ; so out I splashed, pink silks and all, the first day on, too, and brought up Sam Fletcher's yellow with the grey ; skipped up stairs, told him all 190 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, was ready, handed him his hat, upon which I saw him fumbling in his upper pocket; he stepped into the fly, and just as I closed the door, slipped something into my hand — felt small — half sov., better than nothing, thought I — ' thank you, sir, Miss Jelly's,' cried I to Master Sam, off he went, in comes I, looks in my hand — hang me, if it wern't a Joey /" " That beats every thing ! " exclaimed Mr. Mountain, the butler, laying down a handful of spoons he had been counting over, " why do you know he gave me one the very same day, and it lies on the entrance table now, to let him see how little we care for Joeys in our house." " Who's that you're talking about ?" inquired Mrs. Stumps, whose room being on the other side of the passage from the butler's j^antry, enabled her to hold a dialogue without the trouble of moving herself across, she having been selected on account of her fatness and the volubility of her tongue. "Only old lamentable," replied Mr. Trot, "what do you think the fellow's done now? — compli- mented Mr. Mountain and myself with a Joey a-piece. Stop till I catch him with a decent coat on, and see if I don't dribble the soup or melted butter over it." " Confound the mean dog," observed Mrs. Stumps, " he's the most miserable man that ever THE SPA HUNT. 191 was seen. I do wonder that missis, with all her fine would-be-fashionable airs, countenances such a cur. Master may be dull, and I dare say he is, Ixit he's a prince compared to old Doleful." " Master's 5q/if," replied Mr. Mountain thought- fully, " and he's hard too in some things, but there are many worse men than he. Besides, the wife's enough to drive him mad. Shes a terrible tartar.'' " She's in one of her tantrums's to day." ob- served Mrs. Stumps, " and has had Mademoiselle crying all the morning. " She's tried on thirteen dresses already and none will please her. It will be eight o'clock very likely before they dine, and that reminds me she had two notes this morning by post — one was from Lady Gillon, and Sam thought he saw something about dining, and stay- ing all night, as he took it up stairs, so just you keep your ears open at dinner, and find out the day, as I want to have a few friends to cards and a quadrille the first time the family go from home." " Oh, I dare say I can acquaint you all about it without waiting for dinner," observed Mr. Mountain. " Sam, just step into the clothes room, and feel in B's brown frock-coat that he had on this morning, and bring me his letters." Sam obeyed, and speedily returned with three. Mr. Mountain took them, and casting a wafered 192 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, one aside, as either a " bill or a begging letter," opened a fine glazed note with blue edges, sealed with a transfixed heart on green wax : — " Monday, at ten, at the Apollo Belvidere," was all it con- tained, and winking at Sam, who winked at John Trot, who passed the wink to Mrs. Stumps, Mr. Mountain refolded the note, and opened the one from Sir Gibeon Gillon, which contained a pres- sing invitation for the Friday following, and to make one at a hattu on the Saturday. " You must find out whether they go or not," observed Mrs. Stumps ; " they will be sure to say something about it at dinner, so mind be on the look out. There's missis's bell ! my eyes, how she rings! would't be near her for the world." — A perfect peal ! After Doleful had had a good spell at the Post, beginning with the heading and ending with the printer's name at the end, Mr. Barnington made his appearance from his room below, where he had been deceiving himself into the belief that he was reading, and saluted the M. C. in the way that a man generally takes his wife's friends when he does not like her. After exchanging a few nothings, he looked with an air of easy indiffer- ence round the room, then at the French clock on the mantle-piece, next at his watch to see that it was not wrong, and finally composed himself cross-legged into a low douro with massive THE SPA HUNT. 193 cushions at the back and sides. Doleful resumed his seat on the sofa. Thus they sat for half an hour, listening to the tickings of the time-piece, looking alternately at each other and the door. Seven o'clock came and no Mrs. Barnington, then the quarter chimed in that concise sort of way, that almost says, " Oh, it's only the quarter !" the half hour followed with a fuller chorus and more substantial music, whereupon Barnington, who was beginning to be hungry, looked indig- nantly at his watch and the door, then at Doleful, but wisely said nothing. Doleful, who had only treated himself to a penny bun since breakfast, was well-nigh famished, and inwardly wished he had palmed himself off on the Jorrocks' ; when just as the time-piece was chiming away at a quarter to eight, a page in a green and gold uniform threw open the door, and in sailed the majestic Mrs. Barnington in lavender-coloured satin. With a slight inclination of her head to the Captain, who was up like an arrow to receive her, and a look of contempt at her husband, she seated herself on an ottoman, and glancing at a diminutive watch in her armlet, and seeing it correspond with the time on the mantel-piece, without a word of apology for keeping them waiting, she hurried off the page to order dinner to be served instantly. VOL. I. K 194 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, In ten minutes, just as Mrs. Barnington was desiring Doleful to ring to see why dinner was not ready, Mr. Mountain, with great state, and an air of the most profound respect, walked into the centre of the room, and announced that it was on the table, when, backing out, and leaving the page in charge of the door, he returned to the parlour to twist a napkin round his thumb, and place himself before the centre of the side- board to be ready to raise the silver cover from the soup tureen, and hand it to John Trot, to pass to Sam, to place on the tray, the instant the party were seated. Mrs. Barnington, with an air of languid absence, mechanically placed her hand on DolefuFs arm, and sailed down the thickly-carpeted stair-case, past the footmen in the entrance, and dropt into a many-cushioned chair at the head of the table. Doleful seated himself at the side opposite the fire, and Bar- nington of course took his place at the foot of the table. Soup and a glass of sherry passed round amid the stares and anxious watchings of the servants, before any thing like a conversation was commenced, for ^Barnington was not a man of many words at any time, and fear of his wife and dislike of Doleful, now sealed his lips entirely. Several indifferent topics were tried during the fish, alternately by Mrs. Barnington and Doleful. THE SPA HUNT- 195 — The weather — the Morning Post — the last elopement — somebody's band — the new French milliner, when, gathering- up her napkin, and giving her head a toss in the air, she observed, in a careless easy sort of way, " By the bye, Captain Doleful, I forgot to ask you if those Horrocks people arrived to-day ?" " Oh yes, marm, they came," replied the Cap- tain, with uneasiness on his brow, for he saw " Mountain and Co." were all eyes and ears to catch what he said. — "A little malt liquor, if you please. Do you get your malt of Dobbs ?" inquired he of Barnington, making a desperate effort to turn the conversation at the outset, the only chance of effecting it ; "if you don't," ob- served he, " there's a capital fellow come from Mortlake in Surrey, to establish an agency here for the sale of the same sort of beer the Queen drinks, and apropos of that, Mrs. Barnington, perhaps you are not aware that her Majesty is so truly patriotic as to indulge in the juice of the hop — takes it at luncheon, I understand, in a small silver cup, a present from the Prince, with the lion and the unicorn fighting for the crown, beautifully raised in dead gold upon it, made by Storr and Mortimer, who certainly have more real taste and ingenuity in trinkets, and articles of virtu than all the rest of London put together, — but this beer is very good — clear — amber and K 2 196 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, hoppy," added he, drinking it off, and hoping to drown old Jorrocks, wife, niece, and all, in the draught. " Who is Horrocks, that you were asking about, my dear?" inquired Barnington of his wife, for the purpose of letting Doleful see he didn't consider him worth answering, and not from any motives of curiosity, — an infirmity from which he was perfectly free. " Only some people the Captain and I were talking about this morning, my love, that were expected from London. They are 7iot come, you say ?" added she, turning to the Captain. " Oh yes, marm, I said they were come. Allow me the honour of taking wine with you ? Do you take Champagne ? Champagne to your mis- tress," looking at Mr. Mountain. Mountain helped them accordingly, giving the Captain as little as possible. " Well, and what sort of people are they ?" resumed Mrs. Barnington, setting down her glass, and looking at Doleful as much as to say, " come, no nonsense." " Upon my word I can hardly give an opinion, for I saw so little of them ; but I should say from what little I did see, that they are very respect- able — that's to say (haw hem), people well to do in the world (hem). He seems an uncommonly good-natured old fellow — rattles and talks at a THE SPA HUNT. 197 tremendous rate ; but really I can hardly fairly give an opinion upon their other qualifications from the very little I saw." " How many carriages had they ?" inquired Mrs. Barnington. " One, with a pair, but they came by the train, they will probably have more coming by the road." " Many servants ?" " Not many, I think. Perhaps they are coming by the road too." " What are the women like ?" " The old lady seems a monstrous good-natured, round-about, motherly sort of body, neither very genteel nor yet altogether vulgar — a fair average woman in fact — charitable — flannel petticoat — soup kitchen sort of woman. — This is capital mutton — never tasted better. By the way, Mr. Barnington, did you ever eat any Dartmoor mut- ton ? it certainly is the best and sweetest in the world, and this is as like it as anything can possibly be." " No," was the answer Mr. Barnington vouch- safed our hero, who, bent on turning the conver- sation, and nothing disconcerted, immediately addressed himself to his hostess, with, " Beautiful part of the country — fine scenery — should like to live there — people so unaffected and hospitable — ask you to dine and sleep — no puddling your way home through dirty lanes in a dark night. 198 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, The view from iEther rocks on the edge of Dunmore, most magnificent — there's a fine one also on the road between Exeter and Tiverton — and near Honiton too — what food that country would afford your splendid pencil, Mrs. Bar- nington. I know no one so competent to do justice to the scenery as yourself," and thereupon the Captain used one of his most insinuating grins. Mrs. Barnington went on eating her " vole cm vent^' inwardly resolving to know all about the Jorrocks's, without compromising one jot of her dignity. The conversation then took a brisk and rapid range over many topics and to divers places — Bath, Cheltenham, Brighton, Tunbridge Wells, were all visited in succession, and at last Mrs. Barnington fairly landed the Captain back at Handley Cross. " I suppose we shall be having a ball here soon, sharn't we. Captain ?" inquired she. " That depends upon Mrs, Barnington," replied the obsequious M. C. in the humblest tone. " If you are so disposed there's no doubt of our having one. My ball at present stands first on the list, and that will take place to- morrow fortnight." " Oh, I forgot your ball entirely — true — oh dear, no ! I shouldn't wish for one before that — it might interfere with your's. Of course you will send me five tickets." " The Captain bowed profoundly, for this as THE SPA HUNT. 199 much as said there would be a five pound note coming. " I hope you will have a good one," added she. " There will most probably be some new comers by that time to amuse one with their strange faces and queer ways. — I wonder if the Horrocks's will go ?" The idea at that moment flashed across the Captain's mind too, and a prophetic thought as- suring him they would, he determined to grapple with the subject instead of fighting shy, and ventured boldly to predict they would, and once more essayed to smooth their passage to Mrs. Barnington's patronage. "Oh, I have no earthly objection to them, I assure you, I can have none to people I never either saw or heard of Of course, if they have letters of introduction I shall call upon them — if not, and you assure me, or rather convince me, of their respectability, I shall notice them the same as I do other people who come here as strangers." "Very much obliged indeed," replied the Cap- tain, feeling all the time that he was " thanking her for nothing." — " They are, I believe, highly respectable. She, I understand, is the daughter of a gentleman about the court of George the Third. The young lady is very pretty, and Jor- rocks himself really seems a very excellent old fellow." " What, you are talking about Mr. Jorrocks, 200 HANDLEY CROSS. are you ?" inquired Mr. Barnington, looking up from his " omelette" with an air of sudden en- lightenment on his countenance. "Why yes, Solomon!" replied his loving spouse, " who did you think we were talking about ?" " Why you called them Horrocks ! how was I to know who you meant ?" " How were you to know who we meant ? why what matter does it make whether you know or not. Take the cheese away. Mountain, and don't make this room smell like a beer shop." " Stay ! I want some," interposed Mr. Bar- nington. "Then take it into your master's room," replied Mrs. Barnington. "Go and stuff yourself there as much as you like ; and send for your friend Horrocks, or Jorrocks, or whatever you call him, to keep you company. 201 CHAPTER XI. " Tend well my ounds." " Send my Sec. here," said Mr. Jorrocks, with great dignity, to the landlord of the Dragon ; who, in compliance with Doleful's directions, was waiting to receive his orders. " Send my Sec. here," he repeated, seeing the man did not catch what he said. " Your Sec, sir," repeated the landlord, " it'll be your boy, I presume ?" turning to the waiter, and desiring him to send the ostler to stand by the horses' heads while Mr. Jorrocks's boy came up stairs. " No, not my houy" replied Mr. Jorrocks with a frown, " so you presumes wrong." " Your maid, then ?" inquired the sharp waiter, thinking to hit what his master had missed. " No, nor my maid neither," was the worthy grocer's answer,- — " T\hat I want is my Sec, the Secretary to my 'unt in fact." " Oh ! the Secretary to the hunt, that will be Mr. Fleeceall," rejoined the landlord with a grin k3 202 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, of satisfaction. — " Run up to Speldhurst Street, and tell Mr. Fleeceall that Mr. Jorrocks has arrived, and wishes to see him." " Tell him to come directly" said Mr. Jorrocks, adding, in a mutter, " I dosn't understand why he's not here to receive me. Fatch me up a glass of cold sherry negus with. — Public speakin makes one werry dry." Before the with was well dissolved, so as to enable our hero to quench his thirst at a draught, our one-eyed friend entered the room, hat in hand, and presented himself to Mr. Jorrocks. " Now I wants to see you about my 'ounds," said Mr. Jorrocks, with an air of authority. — " Where are they ?" " Some, I believe, are in the kennel, others are in the Vale with the various farmers," replied Mr. Fleeceall. " Some in the Wale !" repeated Mr. Jorrocks with surprise, " vy arn't they all in kennel ? you surely knew I was a comin, and ought not to have had things in this hugger mugger state. — Whose fault is it ? Where's the kennel-book ?" " The kennel-book ?" repeated Mr. Fleeceall with surprise. " Yes, the kennel-book, you know what that is surely — the list of the 'ounds in fact." " Oh, I beg your pardon — I don't think there is any regular kennel-book — at least I never had THE SPA HUNT. 203 one — all that / do, is to receive the subscrip- tions, — write to gentlemen that are in arrear, or are likely to subscribe, — tax poultry bills, — and prevent extortion in general." " Well, all werry useful in its way," replied Mr. Jorrocks, " but a secretary to an 'unt is expected to know all about the 'ounds too, and every thing besides — at least he's no Sec. for me if he don't," added he, his eyes sparkling with animation as he spoke. " Oh, I do," replied Mr. Fleeceall with tre- pidation, " only Captain Doleful has had all our people so busy, preparing for your reception, that we really have not been able at so short a notice to make our arrangements so perfect as we could wish. I know all the hounds well." " Then put on your 'at and come with me to the kennel. It's full moon to-night so we needn't mind about time." Fleeceall hesitated, but seeing Mr. Jorrocks was resolute, he put a good face on the msitter, and boldly led the way. As he piloted Mr. Jorrocks through sundry short cuts, he contrived to insinuate, in a casual sort of way, that things would not be in such apple-pie order as he might expect, but that a day or two would put every thing right. Calling at Mat Maltby's for the key of the kennel, he enlisted young Mat into the service, desiring him to stand by and prompt 204 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, him what to say, he very soon had the new master before the rails of the kennel. The hounds raised a melodious cry as they jumped against the pailing, or placed themselves before the door, and anger flew from Mr. Jorrocks's mind at the cheerful sound. " Get hack, hounds ! get hack ! Bonney-hell, have a care !" cried Mat, as they pushed against the door, and prevented its opening. " Perhaps you'll take a switch, sir," said he, turning to Mr. Jorrocks, and handing a hazel-rod from a line hanging on the rails beside the door. " Get hack, hounds !" again he cried, and inserting his right hand with a heavy double- thonged whip through an aperture, between the door and the post, he loosened the thong, and sweeping it round among their legs, very soon cleared a space so as to enable the master to enter. Mr. Jorrocks then strutted in. The kennel was quite of the primitive order, and such as Meltonians would disdain to keep terriers in. It consisted of two rooms, and the feeding troughs in the half-flagged yard showed that the hounds dined out of doors. A tem- porary boiling-house was placed behind, and the whole of the back part adjoined close upon the New Ebenezer Chapel. Great was Mr. Jorrocks's surprise and indig- nation at finding that the pack was without a huntsman, whipper-in, or horses, and that instead THE SPA HUNT. 205 of thirty-two couple of hounds as stated by Doleful, there were but sixteen. He was perfectly thunderstruck, and it was some time ere his rage suffered his tongue to give vent to his thoughts. It was a " reg'lar do," and he'd wesh his 'ands of the concern at once. " He'd shoot Doleful first though — skin him alive in fact." Fleeceall attempted to sooth him, but finding he was only adding fuel to the fire, he suffered his anger to exhaust itself on the unfortunate and now fortunately absent Captain, when he again ventured to attempt an explanation. Captain Doleful, he thought, must have said thirty-two hounds and not thirty-two couple. Mr. Jorrocks pulled the letter out of his poc- ket, and thirty-two " couple " appeared as plain as possible. " \yell, but sixteen would take less keeping, and the subscriptions would be all the same." " But they look shabby," roared Mr. Jorrocks, " I hates a short pack. — Then who's to 'unt them ?" " Oh," Fleeceall made no doubt Mr. Jorrocks would do it well himself, " Osbaldeston did so." Coupling him with Mr. Osbaldeston pleased Mr. Jorrocks, and after two or three grunts, on considering how far he had gone, and how he would be laughed at if he backed out, he deter- 206 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, mined to let it be " over shoes over boots," so he stuck out his legs, and proceeded to examine the hounds. " Plenty of bone," observed he, with a growl. " Oh, lots of bones !" replied Fleeceall, " that corner's full," pointing to the bone-house. " Are they steady ?" inquired Mr. Jorrocks. " Middling," replied Fleeceall, anxious to be safe. " Vot, they're not riotous are they ? Never 'unted bagmen or nothin' of that sort ?" inquired our master. " Oh dear no," replied Fleeceall, " ran a boy, I believe, one day." " Ran a boy !" exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, " never heard of sicli a thing ! He must have had a drag." " They bit his drag," replied Fleeceall, laugh- ing. " It were a young hound bit an old 'ooman," interposed Mat, anxious for the credit of the pack, " he had a bone, and she would have it from him, and the boy got atween the two. ^' Humph !" grunted Mr. Jorrocks, not altogether relishing the story whichever way it was. The hounds were a fine lashing-looking lot, chiefly dogs, with a family likeness running through the pack. There were no old ones, and the lot, as far, as they went, were fairly average. Worse packs THE SPA HUNT. 207 are to be found in great kennels. Mr. Jorrocks remained in the kennel until he had mastered their names, and there appearing no help for the matter, he resolved to do the best ae could with his boy until he could meet with a huntsman. — Ordering the feeder to be there by day-break, and have the hounds ready for him to take out to exercise, he thrust his arm through Fleeceall's, and desired him to conduct him back to the Dragon. As they went, he lectured him well on the duties of his office. " Now, you see, sir," said he, " I dos'nt want one of your fine auditin' sort of Sees., what will merely run his eye over the bills, and write his initials on the back, but I wants a real out-and-out workin' chap, that will go into them liitem by hitem, and look sharp arter the pence, without leavin' the pounds to take care of themselves. A good Sec. is a werry useful sort of h'animal, but a bad un's only worth 'anging. In the first place you must be werry particklar about gettin' in the subscriptions. That is always uppermost in a good See's, mind, and he should never stir out of doors without a list in his pocket, and should appear at the cover- side with a handful of receipts, by way of a hint to those wot liav'nt paid. Now, you must get an account book with ruled columns for pounds, shillings, and pence, and open a Dr. and Cr. 208 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, account with every member of the 'unt. ' ISTo tick' must be the order of the day, and every Saturday night you must come to me with your book, and I shall allow you two glasses of spirit and water whilst we overhaul the accounts. You must be all alive in fact. Not an 'oss must die in the district without your knowin' of it— you must have a nose like a wulture, with the know- ledge of a Smithfield or Vitechapel knacker for buyin' them. Should you make an 'appy 'it (hit) and get one with some go in him, I'll let you use him yourself until we wants him for the boiler. In the field, a good Sec. ought always to be ready to leap first over any awkward place, or catch the M. F.H.'s 'oss, if he 'appens to lead over. In all things he must consider the M.F.H. first, and never let self stand in the way. Then you'll be a good Sec, and when I dosn't want a Sec. no longer, why you'll always be able to get a good See's, place from the character I shall give you. " Now, here we are at the Dragon again. — Come up stairs and I'll make you acquainted with your missis," saying which, Mr. Jorrocks led the way, and was met on the landing by the knock-knee'd, greasy-collared waiter, who ushered them into the room, where Mrs. Jor- rocks and Belinda, fatigued with the doings of the day, had laid themselves down on a couple THE SPA HUNT. 209 of sofas, waiting for the return of Mr. Jorrocks to have their tea. " This be my Sec," said Mr. Jorrocks to his spouse, with that indifferent sort of manner which characterises the introduction of a man for whom there is no occasion to put oneself out of the wa3^ Mrs. Jorrocks, who had bolted up at the opening of the door, gave a sort of half bow, and rubbing her eyes and yawning, very quietly settled herself again on the sofa. Tea passed away, when the ladies having retired, Mr. Jorrocks and Fleeceall very soon found out that they had a taste in common, viz. — a love of brandy and water, wherewith they sat diluting themselves until the little hours of the morning, in the course of which carouse, Fleeceall dex- terously managed to possess himself of every particle of his worthy patron's history and affairs. A page or two from Mr. Jorrocks's Journal, will perhaps best elucidate the doings of the early days of his reign over the Handley Cross fox-hounds. " Saturday. — Awoke with desperation 'ead ach — Dragon brandy car'nt be good - Dreamed the Lily-vite-sand train had run off with me, and chucked me into the channel — Called to Binjimin — the boy snorin' sound asleep! — only think, snorin' sound asleep, the werry mornin' after comin' 210 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, down to wip into a pack of fox 'ounds— fear he has no turn for the chase. Pulled his ears, and axed him what he was snorin for. Swore he wasn't snorin' ! — Never heard a boy of his size tell such a lie in my life. Dressed, and on 'orse- back by day-light — Xerxes full of fun — Arter- xerxes dullish — Bin. rode the latter in his new tops and spurs — Now, said I to Bin. as we rode to the kennel, ' you are h'entering upon a most momentous crisis — If you apply yourself dili- gently and assiduously to your callin', and learn to be useful in kennel, and to cheer the 'ounds with a full melodious woice — such a woice, in fact, as the tall-lobster-merchant with the green plush breeches and big calves, that comes along our street of a still evenin', with his basket on his 'ead, cryin' ' I^OBsters ! fine JjOBsteis ! ' has, there is no sayin' but in course of time you may arrive at the distinguished honour of readin' an account of your doin's in Bell's Life; but if you persist in playin' at marbles, chuck farthin', and flyin' kites, instead of attendin' in the stable, I'll send you back to the charity school from whence you came, where you'll be rubbed down twice a day with an oak towel, and kept on chick-weed and grunsell like a canary- bird, — mark my words if I von't.' " Found Mat Maltby at the kennel weshin' the flags with a new broom, and 'issing for 'ard THE SPA HUNT. 211 life — werry curious it is, wet or dry, soft or 'ard these chaps always 'iss. 'Ounds all delighted to see me — stood up in my stirrups looking over the rails, 'olloain', cheerin', and talkin' to them. Yoicks Dexterous ! Yoicks Lucky-lass ! Yoicks Rallywood ! Good dog. Threw bits of biscuit as near each of them as I could pitch them, calling the 'ounds by name, to let them see that I knew them — Some caught it in their mouths like H'Indian Jugglers—' Let 'em out Mat,' at last cried I, when back went the bolt, open went the door, and out they rushed full cry, like a pent up hurricane, tearin' down Hexworthy Street, into Jireth Place, through Mornington Crescent, by the Bramber Prome- nade into the High Street, and down it with a crash and melody of sweet music that roused all the old water-drinkin' maids from their pillows, galvanized the watchmen, astonished the gas- light man, who was making way for day-light, and reglarly rousing the whole inhabitants of the place. " Clapt spurs to Xerxes and arter them, hol- loain' and crackin' my whip, but deuce a bit did they heed me — On they went ! sterns up and 'eads too, towlin', and howlin', and chirpin', as though they had a fox before them. Butchers' dogs, curs, setters, mastiffs, and mongrels of all sorts and sizes, flew out as they went, some 212 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, joinin' cry, others worry in' and fightin' their way, but still the body of the pack kept movin' onward at a splittin' pace, down the London-road, as wild as hawks, without turning to the right or the left, until they all flew, like a flock of pigeons, clean out of sight. ' Oh, dear ! oh, dear !' cried I, puUin' up, fairly exhausted, at the third mile stone, by the cross-roads to Gabriel's House and Knowlton, ' Ive lost my 'ounds, and I'm ruined for ever.' ' Blow your 'orn !' cried a countryman who was sittin' on the stone, they are not far afore you, and the dogs not far afore them;' but blow me tight, I was so blown myself, that I couldn't raise a puif — easier to blow ones 'orse than one's 'orn. To add to my grief and infinite mortification, Bin- jimincame poundin'and clatterin' along the hard road, holloain' out as he went, ' Buy IjOBster • fine luOBster .'' " The pack had turned down Greenford Lane, and I jogged after them, sorely puzzled, and desperate perplexed. On I went for a mile or more, when the easterly breeze bore the 'ounds' cry on its wings, and pushin' forward, I came to a corner of the road, where the beauties had thrown up short before an Italian plaster of Paris poll-parrot merchant, who, tray on head, had the whole pack at bay around him, bellowin' and howlin' as though they would eat him. ' Get THE SPA HUNT. 213 round them, Binjimin,' cried I, 'and flog them away to me,' and takin' out my 'orn, I blew for 'ard life, and what with view holloas, and cheerin', and coaxin', with Bin at their sterns, succeeded in gettin' most of them back to their kennel. Plaster of Paris poll-parrot merchant, followed all the way, indulgin' in frightful faces and an unknown tongue." The Journal then branches off into a mem. of what he did at breakfast in the eating line, how he paid his bill at the Dragon, after disputing the brandy item, and liow he afterwards re- moved, with Mrs. Jorrocks and Belinda, to Diana cottage, which he did not find quite so commodious as he could wish. The day's entry closes with a mem. that he had stewed beef-steaks for dinner. " Sunday. — Up by cock-crow, and into the ken- nel. Dexterous and Mercury been fightin' about a bone, and Mercury got a bloody ear. Lector'd Bin and Mat upon the unpropriety of leavin' bones about. Made Bin. call over the 'ounds by name, double-thongin' him when he made a mistake. " Mrs. Jorrocks in a desperation fidget to get to church. Never know'd her so keen afore. Secret out — got a new gown, and a bonnet like a market gardener's flower-basket. With all her keenness contrived to start just as the bells gave 214 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, over ringin' — Beadle, in blue and gold, with a cocked 'at on his head, and a white wand in his hand, received us at the door, and handed us over to the sexton, in deep blue, bound with black velvet, who paraded us up the 'isle, and placed us with much clatterin' in the seat of honour, just afore the pulpit. Church desperate full, and every eye turned on the M. F. H. — Mrs. J. thought they were lookin' at her ! poor deluded body. Belinda, dressed in lavender, and lookin' werry wholesome. Lessons long — sermon excel- lent — all about 'onering one's superiors, meanin' the M. F. H. doubtless. " After church, friend Miserrimus came and shook 'ands with us all round. Gave him ' un- bounded pleasure' to see us all so bloomin' and well. Mrs. J. delighted, and axed him to dine. Five, and no waitin'. Walked down High Street. Mrs. Jorrocks on one arm, Belinda on t'other. Doleful in the gutter. Fine thing to be a great man. Every body stared — many took off their 'ats. — Country people got off the flags. ' That's Mr. Jorrocks,' said one. ' Which?' cried another. ' Do show him to me,' begged a third. 'Jorrocks for ever!' cried the children. Nothing like being a great man. Kennel at two — feedin'-time — plaster of Paris poll-parrot mer- chant outside, still in a great rage, but didn't catch what he said. Many people came and THE SPA HUNT. 215 wondered how I knew the names of the 'ounds — all so much alike, they said, Take them a life- time to know them. Miserable ignoramusses. " Monday. — At the kennel by daylight. Bin- jimin, as usual, to be kicked awake. The bouy seems to take no interest in the thing. Fear all the lickin' in the world von't drive a passion for the chase into him. Threatened to cut his coat into ribbons on his back, if he didn't look lively. Mat Maltby recommended the 'ounds to be coupled this time — condescended to take his ad- vice. Told Bin. not to cry ' boil'd LoBs^ers' as he did on Saturday, but to sing out in a cheerful woice, rich and melodious, like the boiled-lob- ster-merchant. Axed what to sing out ? Why, ' get on 'ounds,' ven 'ounds 'ang (hang) back, and ' gently there !' when they gets too far forward,' said I. Put Xerxes's head towards kennel door this time, instead of from it. Worth a golden sovereign of any man's money to see 'ounds turn out of kennel. Sich a cry ! sich music ! old Dex- terous jumped up at Xerxes, and the h'animal all but kicked me over his 'ead. Pack gathered round me, some jumpin' up against the 'css's side, others standin' bayin', and some lookin' anxiously in my face, as much as to say, which way, Mr. Jorrocks? Took them a good long strong trot to the pike, near Smarden, and round by Billingside, letting them see the deer in Chid- 216 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, fold Park. Quite steady — make no doubt they will be a worry superior pack in less than no time — make them as handey as ladies' maids, — do every thing but pay their own pikes in fact. Wonder Doleful don't ride out. Keen sportsman like him, one would think would like to see the 'ounds." The Journal proceeds in this strain for two or three days more, Mr. Jorrocks becoming better satisfied with his pack each tinie he had them out. On the Friday, he determined on having a bye-day on the following one, for which pur- pose, he ordered his secretary to be in attend- ance, to show him a likely find in a country where he would not disturb many covers. Of course the meet was to be kept strictly private, and of course, like all " strict secrets," Fleeceall took care to tell it to half the place. Still, as it was a " peep of day affair," publicity did not make much matter, inasmuch as few of the Handley Cross gentry loved hunting better than their beds. Fleeceall's situation was rather one of diffi- culty, for he had never been out hunting but once, and that once was in a gig, as related in a preceding chapter ; but knowing, as Dr. Johnson said, that there are " two sorts of information, one that a man carries in his head, and the other that he knows where to get ;" nothing daunted by the THE SPA HUNT. 217 mandate, he repaired to Mat Maltby, the elder, a cunning old poacher, who knew every cover in the country, upon whose recommendation, it was arranged that a bag-fox, then in the posses- sion of a neighbour, should be shook in South Grove, a long slip of old oak, with an excellent bottom for holding a fox. All things being thus arranged, as Mr. Jorrocks conceived, with the greatest secresy, he went to bed early, and long before it was light, he lay tumbling and tossing about, listening to the ticking of the clock below, and the snoring of Benjamin above. At last dav beo-an to break, and having^ soused the boy with a pitcher of cold water, Mr. Jor- rocks proceeded to jump into his clothes, con- sisting of the Surrey hunt scarlet coat, with green collar, buff waistcoat, drab kerseymeres, and ma- hogany-coloured top boots. Arrived at the ken- nel, he found Fleeceall there, on his old gig mare, with his hands stuck in the pockets of a great dirty-white Witney coat, with large mother- of-pearl buttons, which completely enveloped his person. " Is Miserrimus here ?" inquired Mr. Jorrocks, on discovering the person of his Secre- tary. " Well, carn't wait — sorry for it — know better another time ;" and thereupon the hounds were unkennelled, and desiring Fleeceall to lead the way, Mr. Jorrocks got the pack about him, and away they went for South Grove. VOL. I. L 218 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, The morning dawned auspiciously, and there was a balmy freshness in the air that promised well for scent. Added to this, Mr. Jorrocks had cut the left side of his chin in shaving, which he always considered ominous of sport. — Bump, bump, jolt, jolt, he went on his lumbering hunter, now craneing over its neck to try if he could see its knees, now cheering and throwing bits of biscuit to the hounds, then looking back to see if Benjamin was in his right place, and again holloaing out some witticism to Fleeceall in ad- vance. Thus they reached the unenclosed com- mon, partially studded with patches of straggling gorse, which bounds the east side of South Grove, and our sporting master having wet his fore- finger in his mouth, and held it up to ascertain which quarter the little air then stirring came from, so as to give the pack the benefit of the wind, prepared for throwing off without delay. " Pull out this stake, Binjimin," said he to the boy, as he brought his horse to bear ujDon a frail gap into the wood — " Jump on the top," added he, " so as to level the hedge with the ground," adding, " these little places often give one nasty falls." This feat being accomplished, Benjamin climbed on to Arterxerxes again, and Jorrocks desiring him to keep on the right of the cover, parallel with him, and not to be sparing of his woice, rode into the wood after his hounds, who THE SPA HUNT. 219 had broken away with a whimper, ripening into a challenge, the moment that Binjimin was oft' the gap. What a cry there was ! The boy with the fox in a bag had crossed the main ride about a minute before the hounds entered, and they took up the scent in an instant. — Mr. Jorrocks thought it was the morning drag and screamed and hol- loe'd most cheerily — " Talliho !" was heard almost instantaneously at the far end of the wood, and taking out his horn, Mr. Jorrocks scrambled through the underwood, breaking the briars and snapping the hazels, as he went. Sure enough the fox had gone that way, but the hounds were running flash in a contrary direction. " Talliho ! talliho ! hoop ! hoop ! hoop ! away ! away ! away !" holloaed Mat Maltby, who, after shaking the fox most scientifically, had pocketted the sack. Twang^ twang, twang, went Mr. Jorrocks's horn, sometimes in full, sometimes in divided notes and half screeches. The hounds turn and make for the point. Governor, Adamant, Dex- terous, and Judgment came lirst, then the body of the pack, followed by Benjamin at full gallop on Arterxerxes, with his face and hands all scratched and bleeding from the briars and brush- wood, that Arterxerxes, bit in teeth, had borne him triumphantly through. Bamj the horse shot past Mr. Jorrocks, Benjamin screaming, yelling, L 2 220 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, and holding on by the mane, Arterxerxes doing with him just what he liked, and the hounds getting together and settling to the scent. " My vig, wot a splitter !" cried Mr. Jorrocks in as- tonishment, as Arterxerxes took a high stone wall out of the cover in his stride, without dis- turbing even the coping. To the left was a gate, which having got through, Mr. Jorrocks chose a furrow in the ploughed field that ran up the hill, and just as he got half way up, he viewed the hind-quarters of some half-dozen horses, the riders of whom, having been in the secret, had waited in the wood, disappearing through the high quick fence at the top. " Dash my vig, here's an unawoidable leap, I do believe," said he to himself, as he neared the headland, and saw no way out of the field but over the fence ; " and a werry awkward place it is too," added he, " a yawnin' blind ditch, a hugly quick fence on the top, and may b.e, a plough or 'arrow, turned teeth uppermost, on the far side. " Oh, John Jorrocks, my good friend, I wishes you werewell over with allmy 'eart — terrible place, indeed ! Give a guinea 'at to be on the far side," saying which, he dismounted, and pulling the snafile-rein over his horse's head, he knotted the lash of his ponderous whip to it, and very quietly slid down the ditch and climbed up the fence, " whoaing'' and crying to his horse to " stand THE SPA HUNT. 221 still," expecting everj^ minute to have him on his back. The taking-ori place was wide, and two horses having gone over before, had done a little towards clearing the way, so having gained his equilibrium on the top, Mr. Jorrocks began jerking and coaxing Xerxes to induce him to follow his example, pulling at him much in the manner of a school-boy, who catches a log of wood in fishing. " Come hup ! my man," cried Mr. Jorrocks coaxingly, jerking the rein ; but Xerxes only stuck his great fore legs in advance, and pulled the other way. " Gently^ old fellow !" cried he, " gently, Xerxes my bouy !" dropping his hanj, so as to give him a little more line, and then trying what effect a jerk would have, in inducing him to do what he wanted. Still the horse stood resolute. He appeared to have no notion of leaping. Jorrocks began to wax angry, " Dash my vig, you hugly brute !" he exclaimed, grin- ning with rage at the thoughts of the run he was losing. " If you don't mind what you're arter, I'll get on your back, and bury my spurs in your sides. Come hup! I say," roared he, giving a tremendous jerk of the rein, upon which the horse flew back, and pulled Jorrocks head fore- most into the ditch. Xerxes then threw up his heels and ran away, whip and all. Meanwhile, our bagman played his part gal- 222 HANDLEY CROSS. lantly, and run three quarters of a ring, of three quarters of a mile, chiefly in view, when, feeling exhausted, he threw himself into a furze-patch, near a farm-yard, where Dauntless very soon had him by the back, but the smell of the aniseed, with which he had been plentifully rubbed, dis- gusting the hound, he chucked him in the air and let him fall back in the bush. Arterxerxes, who had carried Benjamin before the body of the pack, came tearing along, like a poodle with a monkey on his back, when, losing the cry of the hounds, the horse suddenly stopped short, and off flew Benjamin beside the fox, who, all wild with fear and rage, seized Ben by the nose, who ran about with the fox hanging to him, yelling, '• Murder ! murder ! murder !" for hard life. 223 CHAPTER XII. "A broth of a boy!" " When will your hounds be going out again think ye, Mr. Benjamin ?" inquired Samuel Strong, a country servant of all work, lately ar- rived at Handley Cross, as they sat round the saddle-room fire of the Dragon Inn yard, in com- pany with the persons hereafter enumerated, the day after the celebrated run described in the last chapter. Samuel Strong was just the sort of man that would be Samuel Strong. Were his master to ring his bell, and desire the waiter to tell the " Boots" to send his servant " Samuel Strong" to him. Boots would pick Samuel out of a score of servants, without ever having seen him before. He was quite the southern-hound breed of ser- vants. Large-headed, almost lop-eared, red- haired (long, coarse, and uneven), fiery whiskers, making a complete fringe round his harvest moon of a face, with a short thick nose that looked as though it had been sat upon by a heavy person. 224 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, In stature he was of the middle height, square- built, and terribly clumsy. Nor were the defects of nature at all counter- acted by the advantages of dress, for Strong was clad in a rural suit of livery, consisting of a foot- man's morning jacket, with a standing up collar made of dark grey-cloth, plentifully besprinkled with large brass buttons, with a raised edge, as though his master were expecting his crest from the herald's college. Moreover, the jacket, either from an original defect in its construction, or from that propensity to shrink, which inferior clothes unfortunately have, had so contracted its dimen- sions, that the waist-buttons were half-way up Samuel's back, and the lower ones were just where the top ones ought to be. The shrinking of the sleeves placed a pair of large serviceable-looking hands in nervously striking relief. The waistcoat, broad blue and white stripe, made up lengthways, was new, and probably the tailor, bemoaning the scanty appearance of Sam's nether man, had de- termined to make some atonement to his front, for the waistcoat extended full four inches below his coat, and concealed the upper part of a very baggy pair of blue plush shorts, that were met again by very tight drab gaiters, that evidently required no little ingenuity to coax together to button. A six shilling hat, with a narrow silver band, and binding of the same metal, and a pair THE SPA HUNT. 225 of darned white Berlin gloves, completed the costume of this figure servant. Benjamin Brady — or " Binjimin" — was the very converse of Samuel Strong. A little puny, pale-faced, gin-drinking-looking Cockney, with a pair of roving pig eyes, peering from below his lank white hair, cut evenly round his head, as though it had been done by the edges of a bar- ber's basin. Benjamin had increased consider- ably in his own opinion, by the acquisition of a pair of top-boots, and his appointment of whip- per-in to the hounds, in which he was a good deal supported by the deference invariably paid by country servants to London ones. Like all inn saddle-rooms, the Dragon one was somewhat contracted in its dimensions, and what little there was, was rendered less, by sundry sets of harness hanging against the walls, and divers saddle-stands, boot-trees, knife-cleaners, broken pitchforks, and bottles with candies in their necks, scattered promiscuously around. Nevertheless, there was a fire, to keep " hot-water ready," and above the fire-place were sundry smoke-dried h^d-bills of country horses for the by-gone season — " Jumper — Clever Clumsy — Barney Bodkin — Billy Button, &:c." — while logs of wood, three-legged stools, and inverted horse-pails, served the place of chairs around. On the boiler-side of the fire, away from the l2 226 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, door — for no one has a greater regard for No. 1 than himself — sat the renowned Benjamin Brady, in a groom's drab frock coat, reaching down to his heels, a sky-blue waistcoat, patent cord breeches, with grey worsted stockings, and slip- pers, airing a pair of very small mud-stained top- boots before the fire, occasionally feeling the scratches on his face, and the bites the fox in- flicted on his nose the previous day — next him, at the " first pair hoy out," a grey-headed old man of sixty, whose jacket, breeches, boots, entire person, in fact, were concealed by a long brown holland thing, that gave him the appearance of sitting booted and spurred in his night-shirt. Then came the ostler's lad, a boy of some eight or nine years old, rolling about on the flags, playing with the saddle-room cat ; and, imme- diately before the fire, on a large inverted horse- pail, sat Samuel Strong, while the circle was made out by Bill Brown (Dick the ostler's one- eyed helper), " Tom," a return post-boy, and a lad, who assisted Bill Brown, the one-eyed helper of Dick the ostler — when Dick himself was acting the part of assistant waiter in the Dragon, as was the case on this occasion. "When will your hounds be going out again think ye, Mr. Benjamin ?" was the question put by Samuel Strong, to our sporting Leviathan. " 'Ang me if I knows," replied the boy, with THE SPA HUNT. 227 the utmost importance, turning his top boots before the fire. " It's precious little consequence, I thinks, ven we goes out again, if that gallows old governor of ours persists in 'unting the 'ounds himself I've all the work to do ! Bless ye, we should have lost 'ounds, fox, and all, yesterday, if I hadn't rid like the werry wengeance. See 'ow I've scratched my mug," added he, turning up a very pasty and much scratched countenance. " If I'm to 'unt the 'ounds, and risk my neck at every stride, I must have the wages of a 'unts- man, or blow me tight the old 'un may suit himself" "What 'n a chap is your old gen'leman?" inquired the " first pair boy out," who, having been in service himself, where he might have remained if he could have kept sober, had still a curiosity to know how the world of servitude went on. " Oh, hang if I knows," replied Benjamin, " precious rum 'un I assure you. Whiles, he's werry well — then it's Bin this, and Bin that, and you'll be a werry great man. Bin, and such like gammon ; and then the next minute, perhaps, he's in a regular sky-blue, swearing he'll cut my liver and lights out, or bind me apprentice to a fiddler — but then I knows the old fool, and he knows he carnt do without me, so we just battle and jog on the best way we can together." 228 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR " You'll have good wage I 'spose," rejoined Samuel, with a sigh, for his "governor" only gave him ten pounds a year, and no perquisites, or "stealings" as the Americans honestly call them. " Precious little of that I assure you," replied Benjamin — " at least the old warment never pays me. He swears he pays it to our old 'oman ; but I believe he pockets it himself, an old ram ; but I'll have a reckoning with him some of these odd days. What'n a blackguard's your master?" " Hush r replied Samuel, astonished at Ben's freedom of speech, a thing not altogether under- stood in the country. " A bad 'un I'll be bound," continued the little rascal, " or he wouldn't see you mooning about in such a rumbustical apology for a coat, with laps that scarce cover you de- cently ;" reaching behind the aged post-boy, and taking up Mr. Samuel's fan-tail as he spoke. " I never see's a servant in a cutty coat, without swearing his master's a screw. Now these droll things such as you have on, are just vot the great folks in London give their flunkies to carry coals, and make up fires in, but never to go staring from home with. Then your country folks get hold of them, and think by clapping such clowns as you in them, to make people believe that they have other coats at home. Tell the truth now, old baggy-breeches, have you another coat of any sort?" THK SPA HUNT. 229 " Yee'as," replied Samuel Strong, " I've a fustian one." " Vot, you a fustian coat !" repeated Benjamin in astonishment, " vy, I thought you were a flunkey !" " So I am," replied Samuel, " but I looks ater a hus and shay as well." " Crikey !" cried Benjamin, " here's a figure futman wot looks arter an 'oss and chay — Vy you'll be yot they call a man of ' all vork,' a vite nigger in fact ! dear me," added he, eying him in a way that drew a peal of laughter from the party, " yot a curious beast you must be ! I shouldn't wonder now if you could mow ?" " With any man," replied Samuel, thinking to astonish Benjamin with his talent, — "And sow?" " Yee'as and sov/." " And ploo ?" (plough) " Neyer tried — dare say I could though." " And do ye feed the pigs ?" inquired Bsnjamin. " Yee'as, when Martha's away." " And who's Martha ?" " Whoy she's a widder woman, that liyes a' back o' tlie church. — She's a son a-board a steamer, and she goes to see him whiles." " Your governor's an apothecary, I suppose by that queer button," observed Benjamin, eying Sam's coat. " Wot we call a chemist and drug- 230 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, gist in London. Do you look arter the red and green winder bottles now ^ Crikey, he dor't look as though he lived on physic altogether, does he?" added Benjamin, turning to Bill Brown, the helper, amid the general laughter of the company. " My master's a better man than ever you'll be, you little ugly sinner," replied Samuel Strong, breaking into a glow, and doubling a most serviceable-looking fist on his knee. " We've only your word for that," replied Benjamin, "he don't look like a werry good 'un by the way he rigs you out. 'Ow many slaveys does he keep?" " Slaveys," repeated Samuel, " slaveys, what be they?" " Vy cook-maids and such like h'animals — women in general." " Ow, two — one to clean the house and dress the dinner, t'other to milk the cows and dress the childer." " Oh, you 'ave childer, 'ave you in your 'ouse ?" exclaimed Benjamin in disgust. "Well come, our's is bad, but we've nothing to ekle (equal) that. I wouldn't live where there are brats for no manner of consideration." " You've a young Missis, though, havn't you?" inquired the aged post-boy, " there was a young- lady came down in the chay along with the old folk." THE SPA HUNT. 231 "That's the niece," replied Benjamin — "a jolly nice gal she is too — her home's in Vite- chapel, — often get a tissey out of her — That's to say, she don't give me them herself exactly, but the young men as follows her do, so it comes to the same thing in the end. She has a couple of them you see, first one pays, and then t'other. Green, that's him of Tooley Street, gives shillings because he has plenty ; then Stubbs wot lives near Boroughbridge — the place the rabbits come from — gives half-crowns, because he hasn't much. Then Stubbs is such a feller for kissing of the gals. — ' Be'have yourself or I'll scream,' I hears our young lady say, as I'm a listening at the door. ' Dont,' says he, kissing of her again, ' you'll hurt your throat, — let me do it for you.' Then to hear our old cove and he talk about 'unting of an evening over their drink, you'd swear they were as mad as hatters. They jump, and shout, and sing, and talliho ! till they bring the street-keeper to make them quiet." " You had a fine run t'other day, I hear," ob- served Joe, the deputy-helper, in a deferential tone to Mr. Brady. " Uncommon !" replied Benjamin, shrugging up his shoulders at the recollection of it, and clearing the low bars of the grate out with his toe. " They tell me your old governor tumbled off," continued Joe, " and lost his boss." 232 HANDLEY CROSS. "Werry like," replied Benjamin with a grin, " he generally does tumble li'off. I'm d — d if it isn't a disgrace to an 'oss to he ridden hy such a lubber !" A great fat beast !" he's only fit for vater carriage." Haw ! haw ! haw ! haw ! haw ! haw ! went the roar of laughter among the party ; haw ! haw ! haw ! haw ! haw ! pealed the second edition. " He's a precious old file too," resumed the little urchin, elated at the popularity he was acquiring, " to hear him talk, I'm blow'd if you wouldn't think he'd ride over an 'ouse, and yet somehow or other, he's never seen after they go away, unless it be bowling along the 'ard road ; — t'other morning, we had a run, and he wanted to give in during the middle of it, and'yesterday he stood staring like a stuck pig in the wood, instead of riding after his 'ounds. If I hadn't been as lively as a lark, and leapt like a louse, we should never have seen an 'ound no more. They'd have run slap to France, or what- ever there is on the far side of the hill, if the world's made any further that way. Well, I rides, and rides, for miles and miles, as 'ard as ever the 'oss could lay legs to the ground, over every thing, 'edges, ditches, gates, stiles, rivers, determined to stick by 'em, — see wot a mug I've got with ramming through the briars— feels just as if I'd had it brushed with a pair of wool- THE SPA HUNT. 233 combs ; liowsomever, I did, and I wouldn't part company with tliem, and the consequence was, we killed the fox — my eyes, such a wopper ! — longer than that," said he, stretching out both his arms, " and as big as a bull — fierce as fury — flew at my snout — nearly bit it off— kept a hold of him though — and worried his soul out— people all pleased — farmer's wife in particklar —offered me a drink o' milk — axed for some jackey— had none, but gave me whiskey instead, — Vill any man here sky a copper for a quartern of gin ?" inquired Benjamin, looking round the party. " Then who'll stand a penny to my penny, and let me have a first go ?" No one closing with either of these handsome offers, Ben took up his tops, looked at the soles, then replacing them before the fire, felt in his stable-jacket- pocket, which was laying over his own saddle, and bringing out a very short dirty old clay-pipe, he filled it out of the public tobacco-box of the saddle-room, and very complacently crossing his legs, proceeded to smoke. Before he had time to make himself sick, the first pair boy out, interrupted him by asking what became of his master during the run. " Oh ! dashed if I know," replied Benjamin, " but that reminds me of the best of the story — We killed our fox you see, and there were two or three 'ossmen up, who each took a fin and I 234 took the tail, which I stuck through my 'oss's front, and gathering the dogs, I set off towards home, werry well pleased with all I had done. Well, after riding a werry long way, axing my way, for I was quite a stranger, I came over a hill at the back of the wood, where we started from, when what should I see in the middle of a big ploughed field but the old 'un himself, an 'unting of his 'oss that had got away from him. There was the old file in his big red coat and top-boots, flounderin' away among the stiff clay, with a hundred weight of dirt stickin' to his heels, gettin' the 'oss first into one corner and then into another, and all but catchin' hold of the bridle, when the nag would shake his head, as as much as to say, ' IN^ot yet, old chap,' and trot off to the h'opposite corner, the ould un grinnin' with h'anger and wexation, and followin' across the deep wet ridge and furrow in his tops, reg'larly churnin' the water in them as he went. " Then the 'oss would begin to eat, and Jor- rocks would take Bell's Life out of his pocket and pretend to read, sneaking nearer and nearer all the time. When he got a few yards off, the 'oss would stop and look round, as much as to say, ' I see's you, old cock,' and then old J. would begin coxin' ' Wlioay^ my old feller, wlio-ay — ivho-ay, my old Bouy,' (Benjamin imitat- ing his master's manner by coaxing the old post- THE SPA HUXT. 235 boy,) until he got close at him again, when the 'oss would give a half-kick and a snort, and set-ofF again at a quiet jog-trot to the far corner again, old J. grinnin' and wowin' wengeanee against him as be went. " At last he sjDyed me a lookin' at him through the high 'edge near the gate at the corner of the field, and cuttin' across, he cried, ' Here Binjimin ! BiNjiMiN, I say!' for I pretended not to hear him, and was for cuttin' away, ' lend me your 'oss a minute to go and catch mine upon ; so accordingly, I got down, and up he climbed, ' Let out the stirrups four 'oles,' said he, quite consequential, shuffling himself into his seat, ' Vot you've cotched the fox 'ave ye V said he, lookin' at the brush danglin' through the 'ead stall. ' Yes,' says I to him, says I, ' we've cotched him.' Then vot do you think says he to me ? Vy, says he to me, says he, ' Then cotch my 'oss, and away the old wagrant went, 'oss, 'ounds, brush, and all, telling every body he met, as how he'd cotched the fox, and leavin' me to run about the ploughed land after his lousy nag — My tops baint dry yet, and never will, I think," added Benjamin, putting them closer to the fire, and giving it another poke with his toe. " What'n 'osses does he keep?" inquired the return post-boy. "Oh, precious rips I assure you, and no mistake 236 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, — Bless your 'eart our old chap knows no more about an "oss tlian an 'oss knows about him, but to hear him talk — Oh, crickey ! dosn't he give them a good character, especial ven he wants to sell von. He vont take no one's adwice neither. Says I to him t'other mornin' as he was a feelin' of my 'oss's pins, ' that ere o'ss would be a pre- cious sight better if you'd blister and turn him out for the vinter.' ' Blister and turn him out for the vinter ! you little rascal/ said he, lookin' as though he would eat me, ' I'll cut off your 'ead and sew on a button, if you talks to me about blisterin.' Says I to him, says I, ' You're a thorough-bred old hidiot for talking as you do, for there isn't a grum in the world^ wot doesn't swear by blisters ! I'd blister a cork leg if I had one," added Benjamin, " so would any grum. Blistering against the world, say I, for every thing except the worms. Then it isn't his confounded stupidity only that one has to deal with, but he's such an unconscionable old screw about feeding of his 'osses— always sees every feed put afore them, and if it warn't for the matter of chopped inions (onions) that I mixes with their corn, I really should make nothing out of my stable, for the old un pays all his own bills, and * Benjamin spoke truth there, for let a gioom be ever so ignorant, he can always recommend a blister. THE SPA HUNT. 237 orders his own stuff, and ven that's the case those base mechanics of tradesmen never stand nothin' to no one." " And what do you chop the onions for, 3Ir. Benjamin ?" inquired Samuel Strong. " Chop inions for !" exclaimed Ben with as- tonishment, and is it possible that you've grown those great iiery viskers on either side of your chuckle head and not be h'up to the chopped inion rig ? My eyes, but you'll never be able to keep a^a/, I think! Vy you double distilled fool." " Come, sir," interrupted Samuel, again doub- ling his enormous fist, that would almost have made a head for Benjamin, amid a general roar of laughter, " keep a clean tongue in your head. or I'll knock your teeth down your throat." " Oh, you'r a man of that description are you !" exclaimed Benjamin, pretending to be in a fright, " you don't look like a dentist either somehow — ■ poor h'ignorant h'ass. Vy the chopped inion rig be just this — You must advance a small brown out of your own pocket, to buy an inion, and chop it werry small. Then s'pose your chemist and druggist chap gives his 'oss four feeds a-day (vich I s'pose will be three more than he does), and sees the grain given, which some wicked old warmints will do, you take the sieve, and after shakin' the corn, and liissin' at it well, just take 238 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, half a handful of chopped inioii out of your jacket pocket, as you pass up to the 'oss's 'ead, and scatter it over the who'ats, then give the sieve a shake, and turn the whole into the manger. The governor seeing it there, will leave, quite satisfied that the 'oss has had his dues, and per- haps may get you out of the stable for half an hour or so, but that makes no odds, when you goes back you'll find it all there, and poulterers like it none the worse for the smell of the inions. That, and pickin' oif postage-stamps, is about the only parquisite I has. " Now, Mr. von eye," said he, turning to Bill Brown, the one-eyed helper, " is it time for my 'osses to have their bucket of water and kick in the ribs ?" The time for this luxurious repast not having arrived, Benjamin again composed himself in his corner with hi 5 pipe, and the party sat in mute astonishment at his wonderful precocity. The return post-boy (whose time was precious) at length broke silence, by asking Benjamin if he was living with his first master. " Deed am I," replied Ben, knocking the ashes out of his pipe, " and had I known as much of sarvice as I does now, I'd have staid at school all my life — Do what they will at school, they carn't make you larn, and there's always plenty of play- time. Crikey, 'ow well I remembers the day our THE SPA HUNT. 239 old savage kidnapped me. Me and nasty-faced Joe, and Peter Pink-eye Rogers, were laying our heads together how we could sugar old mother Gibb's milk, that's she as keeps the h'apple and purple sugar-stick stall by the skittle-ground at the Royal Artiller3rman, on Pentonville Hill, veil, we were a dewising how we should manage to get her to give us tick for twopennorth of lollypops, when Mr. Martin, the 'ead master, and tail master too, I may call him, for he did all the flogging, came smiling in with a fat stranger at his 'eels, in a broad-brimmed vite caster, turned h'up with green, and 'essian boots with tassels, werry much of the cut of old Paul Pry, that they used to paint upon the 'busses and pint pots, though I dosn't see no Paul Pry's now a-days. " Well, this 'ere chap was old Jorrocks, and h'up and down the school he went, looking first at one bye (boy) and then at another, the master all the while begging him on, just as the old gentleman seemed to take a fancy, swearing they was all the finest byes in the school, just as I've since 'eard old J. himself chauntino- of his 'osses ven he's 'ad one for to sell, but still the old file was diflicult to suit — some were too long in the body, some in the leg, others too short, another's 'ead was too big, and one whose nose had been flat- tened by a brick-bat from a Smithfield drover's bye, didn't please him. Well, on he went, h'up 240 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, one form, down another, across the rest, until he got into the middle of the school, where, for the conw enience of flogging, the byes sit face to face, with their books on their knees, instead of having a desk afore them, and at last the old cock got into the line, and began h'examining of them werry closely, fearing he was not going for to get suited. " ' Werry odd, Mr. Martin,' said he, ' werry odd indeed, I've been to the kilt and bare-legged school in 'Atton (Hatton) Garding, the green coat and yellow breeches in 'Ackney (Hackney), the red coat and blue vestkit school at 'Olloway (Holloway), the sky-blues and jockey caps at Paddington Green, and have found nothing at all to my mind ; must be getting out of the breed of nice little useful bowys, I fear,' and just as he said the last words, he came afore me, wdth his 'ands behind his back, and one 'and was open as if he wanted summat in it, so I werry kindly stuck a pin in it. " ' Hooi ! Mr. Martin,' roared he, ' here's a houy put a pin into me,' showing his mauley to Martin ; and Martin seeing w ho vras behind, werry soon fixed upon me — ' You little dirty, disreputable abomination,' said he, seizing of me by the collar, at least wot should have been a collar, for at the Corderoy's they only give us those quaker-like upright sort of things, such as THE SPA HUNT. 241 old fiery-face there," looking at Samuel Strong, " has on. Says Martin to me, says he, laying hold of me werry tight, ' vot the deuce and old Davey, do you mean by insultin' a gentleman vot vill be Lord Mayor ? Sir, I'll flog you within a barley-corn of your life !' " ' Beg pardon, sir, beg pardon, sir,' I cried, * thought the gentleman had a sore 'ead, as he kept his 'at on, and a little bleedin' would do him good.' " ' Haw ! haw ! haw !' roared Mr. Jor rocks, taking out a red cotton wipe and rubbing his 'and, ' haw ! haw ! haw ! werry good, Mr. Martin, werry good — promisin' houy that, I thinks, pro- misin' houy, likes them with mischief — likes them with mischief, poopeys (puppeys) and bowys — never good for nothin' unless they 'ave — 'Ow old's the rogue.' " Now Martin know'd no more about me than I know'd about Martin ; but knowin' the h'age that Jorrocks wanted a bye of, why, in course, he swore I was just of that age, and knowin' that I should get a precious good hiding for prickin' the old covey's 'and, if I stayed at the Corduroy's, why I swore that I was uncommon fond of 'osses,gigs, and such like, and after the old file had felt me well about the neck, for he had an idey that if a bye's big in the neck in course o' time he'd grow strong all over, he took me away, promising Martin the VOL I. M 242 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, two quarterages our old gal had run in arrear for my book laming — though blow me tight I never got none — out o' my wage, and would ye believe it, the old gudgeon kept me goin' on from quar- ter to quarter, for I don't know 'ow many quar- ters, sayin' he hadn't viped off the old score for my schoolin', just as if I had any business to pay it ; at last, one day as I was a rubbin' down the chesnut 'oss as he sold to the chap in Tooley Street, he comes into the stable, full of pride, and I thought rather muzzy, for he bumped first again one stall, and then again another, so says I to him, says I, ' please, sir, I vants for to go to the Veils this evening.' " ' To the Veils !' repeated he, staring with astonishment—' To the Veils !— Wot Veils V " ' Bagnigge /' said I, and that's a place, Mr. Baconface," observed Ben, turning to Samuel Strong, " that you shouldn't be hung with seeing — skittles, bowls, stalls all round the garding, like stables for 'osses, where parties take their tea and XX — all painted jsky-blue with red pannels — gals in shiney vite gowns and short sleeves, bare down the neck, singing behind the h'organ with h'ostrich feathers in their 'eads — all beau- tiful — admission tup-pence— a game at skittles for a penna — and every thing elegant and quite genteel — musn't go in that queer coat of yours though, or they'd take you for a Bedlamite, and THE SPA HUNT. 243 may be send you to the hulks — queer chaps the Londoners — once knowd a feller, quite as queer a lookin' dog as you, barrin' his nose, which was a bit better, and not so red. Well, he had a rummish cove of a governor, who clap't him into a nut-brown suit, with bright basket buttons, and a glazed castor, with a broad welwet band ' all round his 'at,' and as he was a mizzlin' along Gower Street, where his master had just come to live from over t'other side of the vater, vot should he meet, but one of the new polish (police), who seeing such a h'object, insisted he was mad ; and nothin' would sarve him, but that he was mad ; and avay he took him to the station 'ouse, and from thence, afore the beak, at Bow Street, and nothin' but a sendin' for the master to swear that they were his clothes, and that he considered them livery, saved the fellow from transportation, for if he'd stolen the clothes he couldn't have been more galvanized than when the new polish grabbed him. " Well, but that isn't what I was a goin' to tell you about. Blow these boots," said he, stooping down and turning them again, " they never are goin' for to dry. Might as well have walked through the Serpentine in them. I was goin' to tell you of the flare up the old 'un and I had about the Veils. ' Well,' says I to him, says I^ * I vants for to go to the Veils.' M 2 244 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, " ' Vot Veils V said he. " ' Bagnigge,' said I. ' Bagnigge be d — d,' said he, — no he did'nt say, * be d — d,' for the old 'un never swears except he's h'outrageously h'angry. But, howsomever, he said, I shouldn't go to the Veils, for as 'ow, Mrs. Muffin, and the seven Miss Muffins, from Balham Hill, were comin' to take their scald with him that evening, and he vanted me to carry the h'urn, while Bat- sey buttered and 'anded round the bread. " ' Well,' but says I to him, says I, ' that don't h'argufy. If I'm a grum, I'm a grum, if I'm a butler, I'm a butler, but it's out of all conscience and calkilation expectin' a man to be both grum and butler. Here 'ave I been a cleanin' your useless screws of bosses, and washing your hugly chay till I'm fit to faint, in h'order that I might have a night of enjoyment to myself, and then you wants me to carry vater to your nasty old boiler. A man should have double wage, instead of none at all, to stand such vork.' " ' 'Ow do you mean none at all V said he, grinnin' with anger, ' dosn't I pay your old mother a sovereign annually four times a-year V " Vots that to me V said I, ' my mother don't do your work does she V " ' Dash my vig !' said he, gettin' into a reglar blaze. ' You little ungrateful 'ound, I'll drown you in a bucket of barley water,' and so we got THE SPA HUNT. 245 on from bad to worse, until he swore he'd start me, and get another bouy from the Cor- duroy's. " ' Quite unanimous,' said I, ' quite unanimous, in course you'll pay up my wages afore I go, and that will save *un the trouble of taking of you to Hicks Hall.' At the werry word ' Hicks Hall,' the old gander turned quite green and began to soften. ' Now, Binjimin,' said he, ' that's werry unkind o'you. If you had the Hen and Chickens comin' to bitch^' with you, and you wanted your ' pumpaginous aqua' (which he says is French for tea and coffee) carried, vouldn't you think it werry unkind of Batsay if she wouldn't give you a lift V Then he read a Ions; lector about doing: as one would be done by, and all that sort of gammon that Martin used to cram us with of a Sunday. Till at last it ended in his givin' me a half-crown to do what he wanted, on the understandin' that it was none of my vork, and I says, that a chap wot does every thing he's bid, like that suckin' Samj)son there, eyeing Samuel Strong with the most ineffable contempt, is only fit to be a tinker's jack ass.'" Samuel looked as though he would annihilate the boy as soon as he made u^) his mind where to hit him, and Benjamin, uncon- * This IS a Cambridge term, and how Mr. Jorrocks, or rather Benjamin, got hold of it, we know not. 246 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, scious of all danger, stooped, and gave tlie eternal tops another turn. " We never heard nothing of your coming until three days afore you cast up," observed Bill Brown, with a broad grin on his countenance at Benjamin's audacity and Samuel's anger. " It wern't worry likely that you should," re- plied Benjamin, looking up, " for as 'ow we hadn't got our own consent much afore that. Our old cove is a reglar word and a blow man. If he does, he does, and if he don't, why he lets it alone. Give the old 'un his due, he's none o' your talkin' chaps, wot's always for doin' some- thin', only they don't. He never promised me a cow-hidin' yet, but he paid it with interest. As soon as ever he got the first letter, I know'd there was somethin' good in the wind, for he gave me half a pot of his best marmeylad, and then a few days after he chucked me a golden sovereign, tellin' me, go and buy a pair of new tops, or as near new as I could get them for the money." " And what did you pay for them ?" inquired both post boys at once, for the price of top-boots is always an interesting subject to a stable ser- vant. "Guess!" replied Benjamin, holding tlieni up, adding, " mind, they are nothing like now what they were when I bought them ; the Jew told me. THE SPA HUNT. 247 though it don't do to believe above half what those gents, tell you, that they belonged to the Markiss of Castlereagh's own Tiger, and that he had jDarted with them because they didn't wrinkle in quite as many folds as his Majesty wished. Here was the fault," continued Benjamin, holding one of the boots upon his hand and pressing the top downwards to make it wrinkle. " You see it makes but eight wrinkles between the top and the heel, and the Markiss's gen'lman swore as how he would never be seen in a pair wot didn't make nine, so he parted with them, and as I entered Holyvell Street from the East End, I spied them 'anging on the pegs at Levy Aaron's, that's the first Jew vot squints on the left 'and side of the way, for there are above twenty of them in that street with queer eyes. " ' Veskit !' said he, ' vashin' veskit, werry sheep ; half nothin' in fact,' just as these barkers always chaff. " ' No,' said I, passing on — ' You don't s'pose /wears cast offs !' " ' Clow for to shell,' then said he,—' Bes'h price, bes'h price.' " ' Nor to shell neither,' said I, mimickin' of him. ' I'll swap my shoes for a pair of tops if you like.' " ' Vot vill you give in V axed Levy Aaron. " ' Nothin',' said I, determined to begin low enough. 248 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, " ' Valk in then,' said he, quite purlite, ' 'onour of your custom's quite enough,' so in I went. Such a shop ! full o' veskits covered with gold and flowers, and lace, and coats, without end, with two sides, each as high as a hay-stack, full o' nothin' but trousers and livery breeches.' " ' Sit down, shir,' said he, 'anding me a chair without a back, while his Missis took the long stick from behind the door with the- hook, and fished down several pairs of tops. They had all sorts and sizes, and all colours too. Mahogany, vite, rose-colour, painted vons ; but I kept my eye on the low pair I had seen outside, till at last Mrs. Levy Aaron handed them through the winder.' I pulls one on. " ' Uncommon fit,' said Levy Aaron, slappin' the sole to feel if all my foot was in ; ' much better leg than the Markiss o' Castlereagh's Tiger ; you'll live with a Duke before you die.' " ' Let's have on t'other,' said I. " ' Von's as good as both,' said he. ' Oh !' says I, twiggin' vot he was after — ' If you thinks I'm a man to bolt with your boots, your mistaken ;' so I kicked off the one I had on, and bid him 'and me my shoes. Well, then he began to bar- gain — ' Thirty shilling and the shoes.' I was werry angry and would'nt treat. " Five-and- twenty shilling icithout the shoes then. Still I wouldn't touch. ' Give me my castor,' said I, buttonin' up my pocket with a slap, and lookin' THE SPA HUNT. 249 werry wicious. 'You'r a nasty suspicious old warmint.' Then the Jew began to soften. ' 'Onour bright, he meant no offence.' ' One shovereign then he vod take.' ' Give me my castor,' said I. " * Good mornin', Mrs. Jewaster,' which means female Jew. ' Seventeen and sixpence !' ' Go to the devil,' said I. ' Come then, fifteen shillin' and a paper bag to put them in.' * No,* said I, ' I'll give you ten.' ' Done,' said he, and there they are. A nice polish they had when I got them, but the ploughed land has taken the shine off. Howsomever, I 'spose they'll touch up again ?" " Not they," replied Bill BroAvn, who had been examining one of them very minutely, " they are made of nothing but brown paper !" " Brown paper be 'anged !' exclaimed Benja- min. " Your 'eads more like made of brown paper." " Look there then !" rejoined Bill Brown, run- ning his thumb through the instep and displaying the brown paper through the liquid varnish with which it had been plentifully smeared. " Haw, haw, haw, haw, haw, haw, haw,'' pealed the whole of the saddle-room party, in the midst of which, Benjamin bolted with his brown-paper boots. M 3 250 CHAP. XIII. And still the wonder grew, That one small head could carry all he knew." A DELAY in taking the field being inevitable in consequence of the want of a huntsman, Mr. Jorrocks determined upon opening the campaign with a sporting lecture. The popularity attendant upon those he had given in London, and the opportunity of incul- cating the precepts he wished practised towards himself, both at home and in the field, made him think it was an opportunity that ought not to be neglected. Accordingly he enlisted the assistance of Cap- tain Doleful, in whose province such arrange- ments seemed peculiarly to belong, and the large room of the Dragon was engaged and tastefully fitted up under their joint superintendance. A temporary platform was placed at the far end surmounted by a canopy of scarlet cloth, tastefully looped up in the centre with an emblematical sporting device, formed of a hunting cap, a pair of leather breeches, a boot jack, and three foxes' brushes. Inside the canopy was suspended THE SPA HUNT. 251 a green shaded lamp, throwing a strong light upon the party below, and the room was bril- liantly lighted with wax both from the chande- liers and reflecting mirrors against the wall. The doors were besieged long before the appointed hour for commencing, and ere the worthy lec- turer made his appearance there was not standing room to be had in any part. The orchestra was also full, and in it " we observed many elegantly dressed ladies," as the reporters say. Precisely at eight o'clock Mr. Jorrocks ascended the platform, attended by Captain Doleful, Roger Swizzle, Romeo Simpkins, and Abel Snoreni, and was received with the most enthusiastic cheerinof. He wore the full-dress uniform of the hunt ; sky blue coat lined with pink silk, canary- coloured shirts, and white silk stockings. His neckcloth and waistcoat were white, and a finely plaited shirt frill protruded through the stand-up collar of the latter. Bunches of white ribbon dano:led at his knees. In his hand he held a roll of notes, while some books of reference and a tumbler of brandy and water, were placed by Benjamin on a table at the back of the platform. Benjamin had on his new red frock with blue collar, cord breeches, and white stockings. After bowing most familiarly to the company, Mr. Jorrocks cleared his voice with a substantial hem, and then addressed the meeting. 252 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, " Beloved 'earers ! — beloved I may call you, for though I have not the pleasure of knowin' many of you, I hope werry soon to make your intimate acquaintance. Beloved 'earers, I say, I have come 'ere this evenin' for the double purpose of, seeing you, and instructin' of you on those matters that have brought me to this your beau- tiful and salubrisome town, — (cheers) — Beautiful I may call it, for its architectural proportions are grand, and salubrisome it must be when it boasts so many cheerful, wigorous countenances as I now see gathered around me — (loud applause) And if by my comin', I shall spread the great light of sportin' knowledge, and enable you to perserve those glowin' mugs when far removed from these waters, then shall I be a better doctor than either Swizzle or Sebastian, and the day that drew John Jorrocks from the sugars of retirement, will henceforth remain red-lettered in the mental calendar of his existence — (loud cheers). — Red- lettered did I say ? ah ! wot a joyous colour to denote a great and glorious ewent! Believe me, there is no colour like red — no sport like 'unting. " Blue coats and canaries," observed Mr. Jor- rocks looking down at his legs, " are well enough for dancin' in, but the man wot does much dancin' will not do much 'unting." But to busi- ness — Lectorin' is all the go — and why should THE SPA HUNT. 253 sportin' be excluded ? Is it because sportin' is its own champion ? Away with the idea ! Are there no pints on which grey experience can show the beacon lights to 'ot youth and indiscretion ? — Assuredly there are ! Full then of h'ardour — full of keenness, one pure concentrated essence of 'unting, John Jorrocks comes to enlighten all men capable of instruction on pints that all wish to be considered conversant with. " Well did that h'immortal man, I think it was Walter Scott, but if it war'nt, 'twas little Bartley, the boot-maker, say, that there was no young man wot would not rather have a himputation on his morality than on h's 'ossmanship, and yet, how few there are wot really know any thing about the matter ! Oh, but if hignorance be bliss 'ow 'appy must they be ! — (loud cheers and laughter.) 'Unting is the sport of kings, the image of war without its guilt, and only five-and-twenty per cent, of its danger ! In that word, ' 'unting,' wot a ramification of knowledge is compressed ! The choice of an 'oss — the treatment of him when got — the groomin' at home, the ridin' abroad — the boots, the breeches, the saddle, the bridle, the 'ound, the 'untsman, the feeder, the Fox ! Oh ! how that beautiful word. Fox, gladdens my 'eart, and warms the declinin' embers of my age. (Cheers.) The 'oss and the 'ound were made for 254 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, each other, and natur threw in the Fox as a connectin' link between the two. (Loud cheers.) He's perfect symmetry, and my affection for him, is a perfect riddle. In summer I loves him with all the hardour of affection ; not an 'air of his beautiful 'ead would I hurt ; the sight of him is more glorious nor the Lord Mayor's show ! but when the h'autumn comes — when the brownin' copse and cracklin' stubble proclaim the farmer's fears are past, then, dash my vig, 'ow I glories in pursuin' of him to destruction, and holdin' him above the bayin' pack ! ( Loud cheers.) " And yet," added Mr. Jorrocks thoughtfully, " it ar'nt that I loves the fox less, but that I loves the 'ound more, as the chap says in the play, when he sticks his friend in the gizzard. (Roars of laughter and applause.) " The 'oss loves the 'ound, and I loves both ; and it is that love wot brings me to these parts, to follow the all-glorious callin' of the chase, and to enlighten all men capable of illumination. To night I shall instruct you with a lecture on dealin'. " ' O who shall counsel a man in the choice of a wife or an 'oss?' asks that inspired writer, the renowned Johnny Lawrence. ' The buyer has need of a hundred eyes, the seller of but one, says another equestrian conjurer. Who can take up an 'oss book and read about splints, and THE SPA HUNT. 255 spavins, and stringalts, and corns, and cuttin', and farcy, and dropsy, and fever, and thrush's, and grease, and gripes, and mallenders, and sallenders, and ring-bones, and roarin', etcaetera, etcaetero- rum, without a shudder lest such a complication of evils should fall to his lot ? Who can expect a perfect 'oss, when he sees what an infinity of ills they are heirs to ? I 'opes I have'nt come to 'Andley Cross to inform none on you what an 'oss is, nor to explain that its component parts are four legs, a hack-bone, an 'ead, a neck, a tail, and other etcaeteras, too numerous to insert in an 'and-bill, as Georgey Robins would say. " 'Eavens, wot a lot of rubbish has been written about 'osses ! " continued the worthy lecturer, casting up his eyes. " I took a fut rule t'other night and measured off a whole yard and an 'alf of real down-right 'ard printin' on the single word, 'oss ; each suc- ceedin' writer snubbin' the last, swearin' he know'd nothin', until one would exjDect to arrive at the grand climax of hignorance, instead of gleanin' wisdom as one went. There was Bartlet, and Bracken, and Gibson, and Griflaths, and Taplin, and Stewart, and Youatt, and 'Ands, and Lawrence,^ and Wite, and Percival, and Hosmer, and Peters, and Anonymous by 'Ookem, and Wilkinson on Lock-jaw, and Colman, and 256 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, Sewell, and Happerley, and Caveat Emptier, all snubbin' each other like so many snobs. '^ Away with them all say //" exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, throwing out his hands, to the imminent danger of his supporters right and left. " Away with them all say I — from the trepanner of glandered 'osses, down to the sharp City prig, wot borrows and abuses his authority ! (Loud cheers.) Away with all such rubbish, say I ! John Jorrocks is the only real enlightened sa- pient sportsman ; and 'ere, 'ere from this lofty heminence I hurls defiance at the whole tribe of word-manglin', grammar-stranglin' cotation- crammin', passage-cribbin' cocks, and bids them to a grand tilt or tournament of jaw, when hevery man may do his best, and I'll make mince-meat of them all — catermaudchously chaw them up in fact, as the Americans say. (Loud cheers.) " But, gently old bouy," continued he to him- self, " you mus'nt be too 'ard on the fools, or you'll kill 'em out-right ; curb your wehemence a little ; come, I'll give you a drop of brandy and water ;" saying which, Mr. Jorrocks retired to the back of the platform, and took such a swig at the tumbler, as left nothing, as he observed, to "carry over." Presently he returned, smacking his lips, and resumed in a more composed tone as follows: — THE SPA HUNT. 257 " Talkin' about writers," said lie, " the best informed man to my mind wot ever wrote on equestrian matters, was Mr. Gambado, who held the distinguished post of ridin' master to the Doge of Wenice. Hosmermay be more learned, and Happerley more latiney, but for real down- right shrewd hobserwation, the Doge's man flogs all t'others, as the Kentuckey boy said. Most writers go out of their way to bring in summut wot does not belong to the subject, but Gambado sticks to his text like a leech. Hosmer, for instance, tells us that a hostrich can outstrip an 'oss, but what matter does that make, seein' that no one would like to go cuttin' across country on a hostrich that could get an 'oss. Another tells us how many 'osses Xerxes had in his army after he passed the Hellespont, but it .would have been far more to the purpose to have told us how many Dyson or little Bartley bought at the last 'Orncastle fair. " Still I don't mean to say that Gambado was all over right, for there are points upon which the Doge's man and I differ, though fashion, in course, has altered since his time. He writes upon 'osses in general, and says little about those for carryin' a scarlet, without bringin' it to shame, which is wot we most want information upon. Some of his positions too are bad. For instance, talkin' of eyes, he says, some people make a 258 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, great bother about an 'osses eyes, jest as if tliey have anything to do with his h'action, and Geoffery says, that if a man chooses to ride without a bridle it may be matter of moment to him to have an 'oss with an eye or two, but that if he has a bridle, and also a pair of eyes of his own, it is iparfectlie immateriel whether the 'oss sees or not. Now, from this, I thinks we may infer that the Doge, either did not keep 'ounds, or that the country he 'unted was flat and unen- closed, otherwise Gambado would certainlie have felt the inconwenience of ridin' a blind 'un. Indeed, I almost think, from his declinin' the Rev. Mr. Nutmeg's offer of a mount on his brown 'oss, that Mr. Gambado either was not a sportsman, or had arrived at a time of life when the exer- tion of 'unting was too great for him. " The case was this," observed Mr. Jorrocks, taking up the work, " and the advice is as good now as it was then. Nutmeg says, in his letter to the ex-ridin' master, who appears to have been actin' as a sort of chamber-council on 'oss cases : — ' You must know, sir, I am werry fond of 'unting, and live in as fine a scentin' country as any in the kingdom. The soil is pretty stiff, the leaps large and frequent, and a great deal of timber to get over. Now, sir, my brown 'oss is a werry capital 'unter ; and though he is slow, and I cannot absolutely ride over THE SPA HUNT. 259 the 'ounds (indeed the country is so enclosed that I do not see so much of them as I could wish), yet, in the end, he generally brings me in before the 'untsman goes home with the dogs.' " And here let me observe," said Mr. Jorrocks, breaking off, " that that is neither good sportin' nor good language, and Nutmeg, I should think, had been one of your Macadamizin' happetite 'unting parsons, or he would neither have talked of ridin' over the 'ounds, or yet being content to draggle up after the worry, and just as the dogs, as he calls them, were going home — But let that pass." Mr. Jorrocks then resumed his reading — " Now, sir, my brown 'oss is a noble leaper, and never gave me a fall in his life in that way ; but he has got a h awkward trick (though he clears every thing with his fore legs in capital stile) of leaving the other two on the wrong side of the fence ; and if the gate or stile happens to be in a sound state, it is a work of time and trouble to get his hind legs over. He clears a ditch finely indeed, with two feet, but the others constantly fall in ; that it gives me a strange pain in my back, very like what is called a lumbago ; and unless you kindly stand my friend and in- struct me how I am to bring these hind legs after me, I fear I shall never get rid of it. If you please, sir, you may ride him a hunting yourself 260 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, any day you will please to appoint, and you shall be 'eartily welcome. " To this letter Gambado replied as follows — " Reverend Sir, " Your brown 'oss being so good an 'unter, and as you observe, havin* so fine a notion of leapin', I should be 'appy if I could be of any service in assistin' you to make his two hind legs follow the others ; but, as you observe, they seem so worry perwerse and obstinate, that I cherish but small 'opes of prewailin' upon them — I have looked and found many such cases, but no cure — However, in examinin' my papers, I have found out somethin' that may prove of service to you, in your worry lamentable case — An oat-stealer or ostler has informed me, that it is a common trick played upon bagsters or London riders, when they are not generous to the servants in the inn, for a wicked boy or two to watch one of them as he turns out of the gateway, and to pop a bush or stick under his 'osse's tail, which he instantly brings down upon the stick and 'olds it fast, kickin' at the same time at such a rate as to dislodge the bagman, that bestrides him — Sup- pose then, when your 'oss has flown over a gate or stile in his old way, with his fore legs only, you were to dismount, and clap your vip or stick properly under his tail, and then mount again ; THE SPA HUNT. 261 the puttin' him in a little motion will set him on his kickin' principles in a hurry, and it's ten to one but by this means vou oret his hind leo^s to follow the others — You will be able, perhaps, to extricate your stick from its place of confinement when you are up and over (if you arn't down) ; but should you not, it is but sixpence gone. I send you this as a mere surmise ; perhaps it may answer ; perhaps not. " I thank you for your ofier, which is a werry kind one, but I beg to be excused accepting it ; all my hambition being to add to the theory with as little practice as possible. " Add to the theory with as little practice as possible," repeated Mr. Jorrocks, — " That's wot a great many writers are anxious to do at the pre- sent day — But to proceed — Another circumstance leads me to suppose that Jeffery was not an 'unter. In some obserwations in his Preface on a portrait of Mr. Gambado that adorns the frontispiece, the editor says that it was done by a friend from me- mory, and tinctured with the prejudice of friend- ship. ' Jeffery,' he says, ' was not so slim, nor was his eye so poignant ; nor was he ever known to be possessed of a pair of top-boots himself, though he often mentions boots in his writings.' " Tliat I think," observed Mr. Jorrocks, " is conclusive. But then what does it prove ? Why, that if Gambado, the best of all sportin' writers, 262 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, knew nothin' of 'unting, it is the more incumbent on John Jorrocks to supply the deficiency. " But whether Gambado, if I may be allowed to speak of him with such familiarity, was a fox- hunter or not, it is quite clear that he possessed a knowledge of 'osses far superior to any man of the present day. ' The Academy for Grown 'Ossmen,' is a perfect text book in its way, and when a man has read Gambado's instructions how to choose an 'oss, how to tackle him pro- perly, in what sort of dress to ride him, how to mount and manage him, how to ride him out, and above all how to ride him 'ome again, dull must be the dog wot has occasion to go to the Stadium* for further information. " There is a wast of fancy about dealin' — far more than relates to the mere colour; indeed some say that colour is immaterial, and there is an old saw about a good 'oss never being of a bad colour, but the first question a green 'orn asks is the colour of the prad. Old Steropes says, if you have no predeliction that way, choose a mouse-co- loured dun, for it has the peculiar adwantage of * Many of our readers doubtless have seen towards the end of a summer's evening, a troop of pepper and salt equestrians turned up vi^ith green, enter and parade the park. These are the riding advertisements of a gymnastic establishment on the banks of the Thames, to which Mr. Jorrocks alludes. THE SPA HUNT. 263 lookin' equally well all the year round. A black list down the back makes it still more desirable, as the bystanders will suppose you are ridin' with a crupper, a practice no finished 'ossmen ought to neglect. This latter point, however, is confuted by Gambado, who says, ' be werry shy of a crupper if your 'oss naturally throws his saddle forward. It will certainlie make his tail sore, set him a kickin', and werry likely bring you into trouble.' " How perplexin' must all this be to a begin- ner," exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, throwing up his hands. " The heighth of an 'oss, Gambabo says, is per- fectly immaterial, prowided he is higher behind than before. Nothin' is more pleasin' to a tra- veller than the sensation of continually gettin' forward ; whereas the ridin' of an 'oss of a con- trary make is like swarmin' the bannisters of a staircase, when, though perhaps you really ad- vance you feel as if you were goin' backwards. " Gambado says nothin' about the size of an 'oss's head, but he says he should carry it low, that he may have an eye to the ground and see the better where he steps. Some say the 'ead should be as large as possible, inasmuch as the weight tends to prewent the 'oss from rearin', which is a wice dangerous in the highest degree ; my idea is, that the size of the 'ead is immaterial, 264 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, for the 'oss doesn't go on it, at least he didn't ought to do I know. " The ears cannot well be too long. Gambado says, for a judicious rider steers his course by fixin' his eyes between them. This, however, is a disputed point, and old Dickey Lawrence re- commends that they should be large and loppin' in a horizontal direction, by which position no rain can possibly enter, and the 'oss will have no occasion to shake his 'ead, a habit which he says not only disturbs the brain but frequently brings on the mad staggers. " Here again the doctors differ ! " It seems agreed on all hands that the less an 'oss lifts his fore legs, the easier he will move for his rider, and he will likewise brush all the stones out of his way, which might otherwise throw him down. Gambado thinks if he turns his toes well out, he will disperse them right and left, and not have the trouble of kickin' the same stone a second time, but I don't see much adwantage in this, and think he might as well be kickin' the same stone as a fresh one. " There can be no doubt that a Roman nose adds greatly to the gravity of an 'oss's countenance. It has a fine substantial yeoman-like appearance, and well becomes the father of a family, a church dignitary, or a man in easy circumstances. — A Roman nose and a shovel hat, are quite unique. THE SPA HUNT. 265 — Some think a small eye, a recommendation, as they are less exposed to injuries than large ones, but that is matter of fancy. The nostrils, Law- rence says, should be small, and the lips thick and leathery, which latter proj)erty aids the sensibility of the mouth werry considerably. — Some prefer an arched neck to a ewe, but the latter has a fine consequential hair, and ought not to be slighted. " It may be prejudice, but I confess I likes an 'oss's back, wot inclines to a hog bend. — Your slack backs are all werry for carryin' miller's sacks, but rely upon it there's nothin' like the outward bow for makin' them date their leaps properly. Many men in the Surrey, remember m)^ famous 'oss Star-gazer. He was made in that form, and in his leaps threw an arch like the dome of St. Paul's. A Iouq- back is a grand thing for a family 'oss.— Iv'e seen my cousin Joe clap six of his brats and his light porter on the back of the old Crockerdile, and the old nag would have carried another if his tail had been tied up. — In the 'unting field, however, one seldom sees more than one man on an oss, at a time. Two don't look sportin' and the world's governed by appearances. " Some people object to high blowers, that is 'osses wot make a noise like steam engines as they go. I don't see no great objection to them VOL. I. N 266 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, myself, and think the use they are of in clear- in' the way in crowded thoroughfares, and the protection they afford in dark nights by preventin' people ridin' against you, more than counterba- lance any disconwenience. — Gambado says, a bald face, wall eyes, and white legs, answer the same purpose, but if you can get all four, it will be so much the better. " There is an author who says the hip-bones should project well beyond the ribs, which form will be found worry conwenient in 'ot weather, as the rider may hang his hat on them occasion- ally, whilst he wipes the perspiration from his brow, addin' that that form gives the hannimal greater facility in passin' through stable-doors, but I am inclined to think, that the adwice is a little of wot the French call pleasantre, and we call gammon ; at all ewents I don't follow it. " Broken knees is nothin'. — Where, let me ax, is the man with the 'oss that he will swear will never tumble down ? Geoffry indeed says, ' Be sure to buy a brokenknee'd 'oss whenever he falls in your way ; the best bit of flesh that ever was crossed will certainly come down one day or another ; whereas, one that has fallen (and scara- fied himself pretty tightly) never will again, if he can help it.' At an American 'oss sale, I read of t'other day, a buyer exclaims — THE SPA HUNT. 267 " ' Vy, he's broken knee'd V " ' Not at all, you mister,' cried the hauctioneer pertly. ' The geii'leman wot sells this 'oss, always marks his stud on the knee, that he may know 'em again' — haw! haw! haw! chuckled Mr. Jorrocks ; ' Lofty h'actioned 'oss ! — struck his knee again his tooth !' I once heard a dealer declare on behalf of a broken-kneed 'un in the city. " There is an old sayin' in Spain, that a man wot would buy a mule without a fault must not buy one at all, and faultless 'osses are equally rare. Gil Bias's mule, if I recollects right, was * all faults,' and there are many 'osses not much better. To be sure it makes a marvellous dif- ference whether you are representin' the 'oss s qualities to an expectant purchaser, or treatin' yourself to a bit of unwarnished truth as we all must do occasionally. It is an unpleasant re- flection, and says little for the morality of the age, or the merits of the Reform Bill, that, out of London, one can hardly get gid of an 'oss without more or less doing wiolence to one's feelin's of integrity. * The purchaser has needs of a hundred eyes, the seller, of but one,' says the authority I quoted before, but dash my vig, they require the seller to make up in tongue what he economizes in wision. " Warrantin' an 'os is highly inconwenient, n2 268 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, 'specially when you've reason to know he's a screw^ and it requires a good deal of manage- ment to ewade the question so as not to diminish the price. I generally tries to laugh it off, sayin' ' Vy really warrantin' is quite out of fashion, and never thought of atTat's ;' or if the buyer is a young'un and 'apparently werdant, I says why faith, / should say he's all right, but you can see the OSS yourself, and can judge better nor I.' "Men that have much business of this sort, ought to keep a slippery-tongued grum to whom they can refer a purchaser in an off 'and sort of way, as though it were beneath their dignity to know nothin' of the kind an dwished the grum to give every possible information, which the warmint knows a great deal better than do. " A respectable lookin' grum wot can lie like truth is truly inwaluable to gen'lemen of this description. If a man is rich he may cheat you with impunity ; it is only poor men wot suffer in consequence. Honesty is of no use to licensed 'oss dealers. Every man supposes they are rogues and treat them accordingly. Who does not remember old bottled-nosed Richards ? When any one axed his number, he said, * Oh you ax any shop-keeper in Hoxford-street, where the biggest rogue lives, and he'll be sure send you to me !' "But to the warranty, as I said before, it's THE SPA HUNT. 269 werry inconwenient warrantin', and if a customer sticks to his point, it is not a bad dodge to try and puzzle liim by makin' him explain wot he means by a sound 'oss, and if he gets any way near the point ax him if he can lay his 'and on his 'art, and say that he is not only sound but free from all impendin' disease. I once fright- ened a chap uncommon when we got this far, by exclaimin', ' I'm dashed if there aint a hectic flush on your mug at this moment that looks werry like consumption.' He closed the bargain im- mediately, and under pretence of writin' a cheque, went into the 'ouse and had a good look at himself in the glass. Tat. is werry clever at this work, and when a Johny-raw axes him if he warrants an 'oss sound, he exclaims with a hair of astonishment, ' Warrant Mm sound! Why sir, I wouldn't warrant that he s an 'oss, let alone that he's sound'- haw, haw, haw. My friend Dickey Grunt, who lisps werry much, did a clever thing in this line t'other day. He sold an uncommon green orn a broken-winded 'oss, /i^^ping out when ax'd if he warranted him sound, ' Oh in courthe like all men I warrant him thound;' whereupon the youth paid the money and dispersed for a ride. Presently he comes back with a werry long wissage, and said, ' Vy, sir, this ere 'oss is broken-winded.' " ' I knows it,' says Dick 270 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, " ' Then, sir, you must take him back and re- turn me my swag, for you ' warranted him sound.' " ' No thuch thing my good fellow,' replied Dick, ' you mithtook me altogether, I thaid I icanted him thound ! not that I warranted him thound.'--(loud laughter.) " Old Joe Smith in Chiswell Street, had a wicious nag wot would neither ride, nor drive, nor 'unt,nor do any thing that a nag ought. Well, Joe took him to Barnet fair, where he fell in with a swaggerin' chap in tight nankeens and hessians, who axed him in a hoff 'and sort of way, if he knowed of any thing that would knock his buggy about, to which Joe conscientiously replied he did, and sold him his 'oss. Having got the blunt, Joe left the town, for Barnet is only a dull place, when wot should come past him like a flash of lightenin', but his old nag, with his 'ead in the air, kickin' and millin' the splash board of a tidy yellow buggy, with a cane back, and red wheels picked out with green. Presently, up came the owner on a grey poster, with the traces all danglin' at his 'eels, and jist as he neared Joe, the old nag charged the rails of the new mound, snappin' the jimmey shafts like carrots, and leavin' the rest of the buggy scattered all over the road. " ' Hooi, you rogue ! you willain ! you wagga- bone !' roared the buyer, gaspin' with rage and THE SPA HUXT. 271 fatigue, ' I'll teach you to sell sicli nags to family men of fortin ! You've all but been the death of Mrs. and Miss Juggins and myself— Where do you live, you complicated abomination of a scoundrel V " Now Joe, who is a hoiley little chap, cunnin' as the devil, and not easily put out of his way, 'special ven it's his interest not to be so, let Jug. run on till he was fairly blown, when he werry cooly observed, jinglin' the odd pewter in his breeches pocket, ' My dear sir, you are labourin' under a werry considerable mistake. If you call to mind what you axed me, it was, if I knowed an 'oss to knock your buggy about, and egad ! if he hasn't done it to the letter, (pointin' to the remnants on the road,) I don't know what knockin' about is.' " Haw, haw, haw !" laughed Mr. Jorrocks, a chuckle in which the majority of the company joined. " Another chap that I know had an 'oss that was a capital 'unter, and good at every thing but 'arness, which his soul disdained. Well, it didn't suit the owner's conwenience to keep any thing but wot the lawyers call qui tamers, that is to say, 'osses wot will ride as well as drive ; so he looked out for a customer, and presently found a softish sort of chap in green spectacles, who having tried him to ride, axed if he was quiet in 272 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, 'arness. To this the owner had no hesitation in sayin' yes, for he had seen the nag standin' in 'arness without movin' a muscle, but when the buyer wanted to tack a carriage to the 'arness — Oh, my eyes ! that was quite a different storey ; and my lord rebelled, and kicked the woiture to bits. The buyer tried to return him, but the owner con winced him he was wrong, at least he conwinced him he would not take him back, which was pretty nearly the same thing. " Daddy Higgins in Rupert street, had just such an 'oss as Joe Smith's — one of the reg'lar good for nothin's — and sold him to a quaker to draw his cruelty wan, assurin' him, when axed if he was quiet in harness, that it would delight Hobadiah's eyes to see him draw. Well, the quaker tried to tackle him, but the 'oss soon sent his 'eels through the splash board, and when Hobadiah remonstrated, all the Daddy did, was to laugh, and assure him it would delight his eyes too to see him draw, for the 'oss would never bear a pair of shafts in his life. " But enough of sellin' — It's time I was sayin' somethin' about buyin' — No easy matter either. " ' Long, long ago,' as the popular ballad has it. Gambado said it was immaterial whether a purchaser went to Tattersall's, or Haldridge's, or Meynell's 'unt, or to his Majesty's, for it was probable he would be taken in wherever he THE SPA HUNT. 273 went, and things are pretty much in the same state now. " The less a man knows about an 'oss, the more he expects, and the greater the propability of his thinkin' himself done. Oh, my beloved 'earers, 'appy is the day, when brimful of hignorance, the tyro enters on his first 'oss dealin' speckilation — Great may be his greenness, but age and ex- perience will cure all that, and who would not barter grey-'eaded gumption for the joyousness of youthful confidence and indiscretion ? — For that pure werdancy, wot sends ingenuous youth up back slums in search of 'osses advertisin' for kind masters rather than high prices, the pro- perty of noblemen deceased, or hofficers goin' abroad (applause). " When I was a houy, and alack ! it's long since. Clods came to London expectin' to find it paved with gold, and many wot read the newspa- per adwertisements, must think it's the real place for humanity and 'oss flesh — sicli shape — sich sym- metry — sich action — sich temper, the most timid may ride, and sich bargains ! Who would trudge, when for twenty pounds he can have a cob fit to carry a castle, or a canterin' thorough-bred, that a child may ride. The werry trials they lioffer would keep a man gom,prowided he could but get them. " No man fit to be at large, will ever trouble a n3 274 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, puff advertisement. If lie does, lie will find himself saddled with an 'oss that isn't worth his saddle, or, may be, taken to a police office for stealin' of him. Next, let him awoid choppin' and changin'. — We know w^hat we have, but we don't know what we may get, is a werry trea- surable truism. " Whatever may be the risks of out-and-out dealin', there is no doubt but exchangin' is by far the most certain loss ; and it is one of those provokin' uncertain certainties, for a man is never certain wot he loses. — ' If he don't suit, I'll take him back,' says a dealer ; no doubt he will, but will he return you the tin ? No sich thing ! Hell give you somethin' worse, and make you give him somethin' for doin' so, and the oftener you change, the worse you'll be mounted, " There's an old sayiii' that it's easier to perceive the wrong than pursue the right ; and I reckon it's a vast easier to tell a man wot he should not buy, than wot he should. Walk along Picca- dilly any summer afternoon and see the seedy screws shakin' on the agony coach stands ; there is age, wice, and infirmity, unaided by blisters or bran mashes. Flesh covers a multitude of sins, but an agony coach 'oss stands forth in the familiar anatomy of high bones, and yet there be good shapes and good pints to admire, but no THE SPA HUNT. 275 one would think of buyin' an agony coach 'oss ! Still there is much good awoidance to be learned by lookin' them over. " ' Who wants to buy an 'oss, wot can walk five, and trot twenty miles an hour V exclaimed a wag among the crowd before the bettin' room at Doncaster. 'I do!' 'I do!' ' I do !' re- plied a dozen woices. ' Then if I hears of sich a one, I'll let you know,' replied the gen- tleman ; and werry similar is my sitivation with regard to adwisin' you where to purchase. One thing is quite certain, that you can't buy experi- ence with another man's dust, but then, havin' to pay for it, he will do best wot gets it for least. " The first step towards a purchase, is to make up your mind what sort of an 'oss you want ; — unter, 'ackney, charger, coach, or ' qui tamer.' This is a most important point, especial where you go to a dealer's, where they never have less than thirty or forty, and as many more comin' from 'Orncastle, or 'Owden, or at their farms in the country. For want of this previous ar- rangement, I once saw a rum scene between Septimus Green, old Verd Antique's ninth son, and old Tommy Doem, wot kept the Pelican Livery and Bait Stables in Cripplegate. Old Tommy was on the eve of his perihodical bank- ruptcy, and jest afore shuttin' up, Septimus arrived flourishin' his cambric, with his white 276 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, jeans strapped under his chammy leather opera boots, and a tartan tye round his neck. Old Tom eyed him as he swaggered down the ride, and having exchanged nods, Septimus began axin' Tommy if he had anything in his line, jest as though he bought an 'oss every other day. Tommy paused and considered, runnin' his mind's eye, as it were, through the seven stalls, and the ten stalls, and the fifteen stalls, and all the loose boxes, and then as usual he called for Joe — Joe was the pictur of a dealer's man ; red nose, blear eyes, long body, and short legs, — master and man were one. After a little side talk, in the course of which. Tommy heard with regret that the brown was at Greenwich, and the roan at Dulwich, and the white at Blackheath, and half a dozen others of Green's cut away on trial. Tommy exclaimed, with a hair of sudden enlight- enment, ' But Joe, there's the cow! jest slip on the 'altar, and bring her hup the ride.' " ' Cow !' exclaimed Septimus, " I wants an 'oss !' " ' Well, but see her out at all ewents,' replied Tommy, in the sweetest manner possible, ' lookin' costs nothin'.' " ' But I doesn't vont a cow !**roared Septimus, bustin' with rage. " Jest then the street gates closed, and hup came Joe, runnin' the cow as he would an oss, THE SPA HUNT. 277 old Tommy praising her haction, and the way she lifted her leg, swearing she never would come down, takin' no notice of Green storming and swearin' he didn't want a cow, he wouldn't take a cow in a gift ; and I really believe if I hadn't been there, old Tommy would have talked him into it — for he certamlie had the most buttery tongue that ever was hung — and the gates were locked into the bargain. " But let us narrow the field of 'oss speckila- tion, and view our buyer on the road to a dealer's in search of an 'unter. ~No man should go there in black silk stockin's, dress trousers are also out of character. And here I may observe that there be two sorts of fox-'unters — the quiet fox-'unter wot goes out werry swell, but comes home and resumes the appearance of a gentleman, and the Tom and Jerry fox-'unter wot goes out now and then, to smoke cigars, pick up a steeple-chaser, wear groomish clothes, and be able to talk of the 'ounds on the coach-box. The latter are not the men for the dealer's money. They turn the stables over from end to end, worm out the secrets, and keep a register of the fluctuations in price of each 'oss. Some act as middle-men between the buyer and seller, gettin' wot they can out of each for their trouble. ' I can buy him cheaper than you,' they say, and so they benefit the buyer by pocketin' the difference. 278 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, These are the bowys to bother a dealer's vig ! A vink from them stops many a bargain, while an approvin' nod from such distinguished judges drives ingenuous youth into extempore bargains that they would otherwise bring half their ac- quaintance to inspect. " When three men enter a yard, a dealer sel- dom opens out. Two are plenty for business — if the buyer is ^e«-green, he had better get some riper friend to play first fiddle, and he must be spectator. If he has a button at his 'at and 'olds his tongue, he may pass for a quiet fox-'unter, and so command respect. There's ' masonry ' in fox-'unting, and a loop in at the linin', or a button behind, will do more than all the swagger and bluster in the world. It is an inwariable rule with the dealers to praise the bad paints and let the good 'uns speak for themselves. It is a waste of time ob- servin' that an 'oss is large in the 'ead or light in the carcase, because a contradiction is sure to follow. It is equally useless axin' the age of a dealer's 'oss, because they are all ' six h'ofi^.' If you object to shape, make, or colour, they will tell you it's all fancy ! That some folks like a happle others a h onion, and Lord So and So would give any price for sich an 'oss. As to hargufying with a dealer, that's quite out of the question, because he has his cut and dried an- THE SPA HUNT. 279 swers to every obserwation you can make, and two or three grums to swear to what he says. Keep therefore, in mind what Gambado said about being done, keep also in view the sort of nag you want, and don't be talked into buyin' a cow, and when an 'oss of your figure makes his appearance, look him full in the face, as though you were used to such interviews. If you have read about sand-cracks, and sallenders, and sit- fasts, and thorough-pins, and quittors, and locked jaws, and curbs, you will save yourself the trouble of enquirin' after any of them by axin' the dealer if he'll warrant him sound. In course he'll say yes, and you may then proceed with your view. The precept ' no fut no 'oss,' is well to be borne in mind perhaps, as also 'no 'ock no 'unter.' Now 'ark forward ! " The dealer, what with his tongue and his whip, will keep you and the nag in a state of trepedation. " All the good qualities 'oss flesh is heir to will be laid to his charge, and there will be notliin' you can ax but what he will be able to do — ' Leap ! Lor bless you. Sir, I vish you'd see'd him last Friday gone a week with the Queen's stag hounds at Slough. We was a runnin', old Sulky, wot always goes straight, when he planted the field at a six foot vail, dashed and coped with broken bottles — Xot another 'oss looked at it, 280 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, and Davis declared he never see'd sich a lip in his life.' " Spooney.—^ Vill he go in 'arness do you think V ^''Dealer. — 'Quietest crittur alive ! Jack's eldest bowy here, a lad of thirteen, driv him and another to Mile End and back, along the Strand, through Fleet Street, Cheapside, and all, busiest time o' day, and he nouther looked to the right nor the left. Lay your leg over him, sir !' " Now this is an inwitation for the gen'leman to mount, and if so be he of the button has never been much used to ride, he had better let his friend use his leg, or should neither be werry expert, let the dealer's man throw his over. Some 'osses don't like strangers, and nothin* looks so foolish as a man floored in a dealer's yard. Still mountin' is the first step in practical 'ossmanship, and it don't need no conjuror to know that unless a man mount he can have no ride. Should our friend think well of the nag's looks, perhaps he cannot begin his acquaintance too soon. If he sees no wite of the eye or sym- toms of wice, no coaxin' or whoo«in', or shoulder- in' to get him to stand, let him go boldly up and mount, like William the Conqueror. 'Osses are queer critturs, and know when we are frightened of them just as well as we do ourselves. Born to be controled, they stoop to the forward and the bold ! THE SPA HUNT. 281 " If Green'orn gets fairly up, the chances are he likes his mount. It is pleasant to find one s self carried instead of kicked off, and some 'osses never ride so well as on trial. Out then Spooney goes, and tries all his paces ; a self satisfied smile plays on his mug, as rein on neck he returns down the covered ride, and the dealer with a hair of indifference axes, ' How he likes him, his mount V " Spooney. — ' Why pretty well — but I think he rayther pulls — I fear he'll be windictive with 'ounds.' " Dealer. — ' Pulls ! Vy, if you pulls at him, in all humane probability he'll jmll at you — other- wise you might ride him with a thread, addin' aside, I sells 'osses, not 'ands. Finest mouth'd nag I ever was on !' " Spooney. — ' Well, but you'll take a leei\e less than what you ax V " Dealer. — ' Couldn't take a fardin' less ! gave within three sovs. of that myself, and brought him all the vay from 'Orncastle — Squire Smith will take him, if you don't — indeed, here comes his grum.' " Here the booted servant appears — " The bargain is then closed — the money paid, a warranty included in the stamped receipt, and Spooney's first ride is to Field's, or the Weteri- nary College, to have him examined. One pound one, is thus added to his price. 282 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, "Thus, my beloved 'earers," concluded Mr. Jorrocks, " have I conducted you through the all perilous journey of your first deal, showin' how warious and conflictin' are the opinions relative to 'osses, and how, as in many cases, wot is one man's meat is anither man's puzzon. Far be it from me to say, that you will be much wizer from anything you have heard, for the old stager will find nothin' but what he knew before, while all that can be taught the beginner is not to be too sanguinary in his expectations. " ' Turn about is fair play,' as the devil said to the smoke jack, and it is only right that those who have inwested capital in the purchase of experience, should be allowed to get a little back. Bye and bye it will be Green'orns turn, and then little Spooney who now goes sneakin' up the yard, will swagger boldly in, commandin' the respect and attention of the world. " We must all creep afore we can walk, and all be bitten afore we can bite. But let not in- genuous youth despair ! If his 'oss is not so good as he might be, let him cherish the reflection that he might have been far worse ! Let him apply that moral precept so beautifully inculcated towards his better 'alf : — " ' Be to his faults a little blind, Be to his wirtues ever kind.' " So shall little Spooney jog on rejoicin ' f THE SPA HUNT. 283 Each succeedin' year shall find him better mounted, and at each fresh deal, he will become a wizerer, and I 'opes an 'appier man." Mr. Jorrocks concluded amidst loud and uni- versal applause. A loud call being then made on Roger Swizzle, that genius at length stepped forward , and after a few preparatory hems, declared that of all the lectures he had ever listened to, either at Guy's, Bartholomew's or elsewhere, he had never heard one so replete with eloquence, genius, and infor- mation (cheers). Hunting, and Handley Cross waters (the original Spa ! some one cried out), the original Spa, of course, repeated Roger would cure every complaint under the sun, and if he had'nt such a wash-ball seat, he declared he'd turn sportsman himself. Before they dispersed, however, let them pay a tribute of respect to the gentleman to whom they were indebted for such a great sporting luminary — he proposed three cheers for Captain Doleful. Captain Doleful returned thanks, and proposed three cheers for Roger Swizzle, after which, the meeting separated. 284 CHAPTER XIII. " Behold, I am thy servant." — Sterne. People whose establishments are regulated with such regard to lazyness, that John knows whether it is his duty to brush his master's hat, or James's, can have little idea how those in humbler life get served at all, or yet the sort of servants that offer themselves for any place that may be vacant. Thus, great Herculean ploughmen will offer themselves as postillions, and failing that, will consider themselves equally fit for butlers ; while fellows that have never been in a stable, will un- dertake the charge of horses and carriages, and drive if required. The news of Mr. Jorrocks's want of a hunts- man soon became known, as well through the medium of " Bell's Life in London," and the Handley Cross " Paul Pry," as by the inquiries of divers would-be sporting gentlemen, who like to busy themselves about horses and servants for other people. The consequence was, that Diana THE SPA HUNT. 285 Lodge was beseiged by all the idle, dog-stealing raffs in the country — Flash, slang-looking scamps in long waistcoats, greasy livery coats with covered buttons, baggy breeches, and square-toed gaiters, buttoning over the knee-cap. They all spoke in the highest terms of themselves, and though none of them had ever hunted, they all thought they'd "like it," and one had actually got so far in a hunting establishment, as to have been what he called second pad groom — viz, a helper at twelve shillings a- week. The following sample will show the general character of the correspondence. " Edgebaston. " Sir, " I am in whant of a situation. Seeing your advertsment in the papey If a greable to you it whould sute me verrey well I have not been in survice be fore I have been A Horse Dealer for my self and with my Father But I have no doubt that I am compident to take the situation for I been used to hunting all my life and have rode in sum of the furst Steeple Chases in the country I can refure you to John Cock's Esq. Cocks' Hall, near Beccles. I have been yoused to hunt with many fine hounds — Stag Hounds, Beagles, and all, and know all about them. I am maried but no famley, onley my self and wife. I am 28 286 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, years of age 10 stone wight But as for wage I shall leave for you to state if every other thing meets your aprobation I have a friend that is Butler with Captain Boxer, at Bath, you can right to him if you think proper As E knows my self and famely, " I remain Your's Obdiaint Servant Thomas Loggan." " To John Jorrocks, Esq. Of the Handley Cross Hunt, Handley Cross." " Warminster. " Sir, " On hearing you want a huntsman, I take the liberty of writing to enquire after the place I thoroly understand my business either as groom or coachman and have been accustomed with hounds I live at present with John Jones Esq. at Warminster as groom and gardner where I leave on Thursday first if you want a servant I shall be glad to serve you as I am a married man Your obedient servant, John Crakethorpe." " To Mr. Jorrocks, Esq., Handley Cross." THE SPA HUNT. 287 " Dear Sir, " I take Liberty of writing those Few Lines to you Hereing that you are In Want of A Servant And I Am in Want of A Situation If you Have No Objections And I have Been in the Racing- Stables Seven Years And My Age is 23 And Stands About 65 foot 6 J And My Wages Will Be 30£ A Year And If you thought I Should Suit Y'ou Direct to Mark Sj^raggon, North-fleet And for My Caracter Inquire of Major Barns of Horton Hall Near York And My Weight is A bout 9 stone. I am diseno-ao'ed in the woman way Your humble Servant, " To J. Jorrocks, Esq. Mark Spraggon." Fox hunter " Handley Cross." " Sir, " Rugby " I saw in your advertisement wanted, a single young man as huntsman with a tow days a-week pack of hounds, I should like to know what the celery will be, as I think I could fulfill this situation very well, my weight is 9^ stones. Please to write with return of Post about the Celery and where the situation is. You will much Oblige Mr. I Jorrocks." remain . your humble Servant, John Green.' 288 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, "Sir " I write these few lines to inform you that I have seen in the Paul Pry paper that you are in want of a young man as huntsman to your hounds and I have sent these few lines to say that I am a marred man and has a family but I cannot move my Wife for 4 years to come for I have 8 Boys at trade and they get their meat and lodge at home so if you do not get one to suet you I should be happy to wait on you if you think that I will suit you I have been with boath fox Hounds and Harriers to take care of them in the Kennels and Hunting them in the field and I can Groom my own Horses to which I like to take Car of my own Horses allways as for my Age is 52 years and my Weight is 9 stone and has been 5 years in my last sittuation but I do not wish to give you the trouble to write back if you get one to suet you for I can be at liberty in a Week's Notice, so if you think I will suet you my wages is one Pound per Week and meat in the House likewise, and Close to hunt in so I remain Your humble Servant, " Please to Direct to John Cox." Mr. John Cox, (Huntsman) Epsom." " To Mr. John Jorrocks, Master of Hounds, Handley Cross. THE SPA HUNT. 289 Finding the applications by letter becoming numerous, Mr. Jorrocks soon discontinued an- swering those that he did not think held out any prospect of suiting, but the following roused his bile into the answer that succeeds : — "Sir, " Hearing you are in wants of a gentleman to hunt your hounds I make bold to represent my qualities for the office. I should like to know the salary attached to the appointment also the per- quisites belonging to it, and whether the Christ- mas presents come in pretty strong. I feel quite confident of giving ivyery satisfaction, for I am well-known to many sporting characters, if we can only agree upon terms, but I should not like to have any dirty work, or grooming to do. An early answer, directed to the Cat and ComjDasses, Birmingham, will meet with immediate attention. From yours obedt, David Eadie." " To Mr. Jorrocks, Hunter, Handley Cross." (Answer.) " Sir, " I am werry much obliged by your purlite communication, and much regret that it did not vol. I. o 290 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, come a little sooner, so as to enable me to awail myself of the offer of your services, as I thinks you seem jgst the sort of man — I beg pardon — gentleman I want. — Unfortunately the appoint- ment is filled up, though perhaps £100 a-year, and perquisites to the tune of £50 more, might not have been worth your consideration, though Christmas presents would make the salary up good £200 a-year. — I does all the dirty work myself, and you might have worn wite kids on non 'unting days. Yours to serve, John Jorrocks, Grocer and M. F. H." " To Dr. Eady, Cat and Compasses, Birmingham." # # # # " Here's a cove vants you," said Benjamin, as he brought a candle to seal the foregoing. " Vants me," repeated Mr. Jorrocks, " who can it be?" Benjamin. — " Don't know — he von't tell me, but he says his names Pigg, and he comes from the north — Scotland, I should think by his tongue." Mr. Jorrocks. — " Pigg — humph — Scotland — humph — Shouldn't wonder if he's one of those place-'unting coves — the town's full of them." — THE SPA HUNT. 291 Without waiting for orders, Benjamin re- tired, and presently appeared, followed by a strang-er. He was a tall, spindle-shanked man, inclining to bald, with flowing grey locks shading a sharp- featured, weather-beaten face, lit up with a bright penetrating hazel eye. A drop hung at his nose, and tobacco juice simmered down the in- dented furrows of his chin — His dress was a strange mixture of smart-coloured, misfitting clothes. A blue and white cotton neckcloth was twisted carelessly round his scraggy neck — a green-baise jacket, with the back buttons almost between his shoulders, flattened upon a pair of baggy dirty-white cords, between which, and a little red waistcoat, a vast protuberance of soiled linen appeared. — His shrunk drab mother-of- pearl buttoned gaiters, dragged upon an ill- shaped leg, making his stooping, lathy figure more ungainly, and the scantiness of his upper garments more apparent. His hands, encased in shiny yellow ochre-coloured gloves, were thrust a long way through the little jacket sleeves, between which and the gloves, coarse dirty wrist- bands appeared — one hand clutched a boy's turned-up hat, and the other rested on a rugged oak staff". "•Humph r grunted Mr. Jorrocks, as he eyed him, observing aloud to himself, "Vot a long- o 2 292 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, legged beggar you are," inwardly resolving that he wouldn't do. " Your sarvant, Sir," said the figure, shufiling the little hat into the staff hand, while he raised the other to his forehead, and kicked out behind. " Heard tell you was in want of a huntsman." "Humph;' grunted Mr. Jorrocks again, ''you don't look much like one. Who made your breeches 1 " A Mike Brunton made the breeks, ne body can maVe breeks like Mike Brunton," replied the stranger, laying hold of the baggy cords as he spoke. •' Humph," grunted Mr. Jorrocks again, " vere do you come from ? " Ah, ar's frae Harwich last, but ar*s a native of Paradise, aside canny Newcassel — yell ken canny Newcassle nae doubt." " Car'nt say I do," said Mr. Jorrocks, wonder- ing where it was ; " vot 'ounds have you been with ?" Pigg. — " A vast — I ken all the hounds i' the North, Lambton's, and Ridley's, and Russell's, and Kelburne's, and Whosperer's, and all — Kel- burne gav' me this coat," said he, pulling round one of the short laps as he spoke, " ard Winter gav' me the breeks," continued he, hitching them up till they nearly touched the bottom of the little red waistcoat. THE SPA HUNT. 293 " Humph," said Mr. Jorrocks, wondering at his dialect. " You can ride I s'pose ?" Pigg. — "Ride! aye, ar wish ar'dnout else tode." Mr. Jorrocks. — " And clean an 'oss ?** Pigg. — " Aye, ne doubt, grum him, that's to say." " You'll be werry keen, I s'pose ?" said Mr. Jorrocks, brio^htenino- as he went. " Ar's varra hungry, if that's what ye mean," replied Pigg, after a moment's consideration. " No," said Mr. Jorrocks, " I means, are you desperation fond of 'unting." " Fond o' huntin' ! Oh faith is I — there's nout like huntin'" " Dash my vig ! so say I," exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, " it's the real Daffy's Elixir ! The Cordial Balm o' Gilead ! The concentrated Es- sence o' Joy ! — Vot weight are you ? you're long in the leg," continued Mr. Jorrocks, surveying him from head to foot. " Ar's lang, but ar's light," replied Pigg, look- ing down at his spindle shanks, " ar's sure ar dinna ken what ar weighs— may be eliven stone." " In course you're a bachelor ?" observed Mr. Jorrocks. " Oh quite," replied Pigg, " ar niver fashes the women folk. Mr. Jorrocks.—'''' Vot's your pedigree ? 'ow are you bred in fact ?" 294 THE SPA HUNT. Pigg. — " All, ar dinna ken nout about that, ar's heard tell ar was dropped sonie where i' canny Newcassel, but ar niver kenned ne body i' the shape o' father or frind but mar cousin Deavilboger — you'll hav' heard tell o' mar cousin Deavilboger, ne doot (doubt)." " Can't say as 'ow I have," replied Mr. Jor- rocks, " is he a great man for the 'unt ?" Pigg. — " jN^o, deil a bit on't, it was just that we fell out about — says Deavilboger to me one mornin' as I war gannin away to Gosforth Gates to see the hunds throw off, says he to me, says he, ' if thou doesn't yoke thy cart and gan and lead tormots (turnips) thou needn't fash thysel to come back here ony more, for ar'll hav' ne gentle- men sportsmen about mar farm.' " " Says ar, Deavilboger, thou surely wadn't grudge a man the trifle of a hunt, ar that's al- ways i' the way and ready to oblige ; but he's a divil of a man when he's angered is mar cousin Deavilboger, and he swore and cussed that if ar went ar shouldn't come back — ah ! Iioio he did swear and cuss — ar really think he didn't leave a part o' me uncussed — except my teeth and nails, and see we quarrelled and parted. " But he's a good man i' the main, is Deavil- boger, only he canna bear the hunds, and as sure as winter cam round the Deavil an' I were sure to have a dust, but that's all done now and THE SPA HUNT. 295 ended, so ar'll always speak well o' the ard Deavil, for he was a good friend to me, and gav me monny an ard suit o' claes, and monny a half-crown at the Cow Hill fair and such like times — dare say he gav me this varry hat ar hev i' my hand," continued Pigg, thrusting out the little chapeau as he spoke. " But did you ever 'unt a pack of 'ounds V in- quired Mr. Jorrocks. " Why now ar can't say as how ar's iver hunted a pack," replied Pigg, " but ar's used to hunds, and have travelled all o'er the world amaist — Bliss ye all the sportin* gentlemen ken me, King o' Hungary and all !" " Well, you shall eat as your 'ungry," replied Mr. Jorrocks, not catching the last sentence, " but I wants to know more about you and your pre- tensions — an 'untsman holds a conspikious place in the world's eye, and it be'oves an M.F.H. to be werry partickler, wot'un a one he selects, tell me now can you holloa " " Hoop, and holloa, and talli-ho !" exclaimed Pigg, at the top of his voice, his ^yes sparkling with animation. " Gently," exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, partaking of his enthusiasm, "you'll frighten the ladies; tell me now, wot wage do you want ?" " What wage ? A ar dinne ken ! — we'll not differ about the matter o' wage — What is ar to de?" 296 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, " ^J' you'll have to 'unt and feed the 'oimds, clean two 'osses, look arter the tackle, and see that all's on the square, in fact." " Ar can de all that," replied Pigg, " and break your 'ard bones into the bargain." " Humph ! Werri/ kind," grunted Mr. Jor- rocks." " Ar mean 'ard kennel bones," explained Pigg, seeing Mr. Jorrocks looked irate. " Oh, I twig," replied our master, resuming his smile, " break 'em for the farmers — for manure, in fact — We'll go on about the wages." " Ar'd like to have my vittels in the house, if you have ne objection," resumed Pigg. " In the 'ouse," said Mr. Jorrocks considering, " I doesn't know about that — to be sure, you are light in the girth, and don't seem a great grubber, but 'unting makes one werry 'ungry"— " Bless ye, ar eat nout," replied Pigg, rubbing his hand over his stomach, to show how flat it was, " and ar'd take a vast less wage gin ar were fund i' the house." 3Ir. Jorrocks. — " S'pose then, we say eighteen pounds, your meat, and a suit of clothes." Pigg. — " Say twenty, and ar'll find mysel', — ar've a capital cap ar got in a raffle, and a red coat 'ard Sebright gave me." THE SPA HUNT. 297 " No, no," replied Mr. Jorrocks, " none of your cast-ofFs. The 'Anclley Crosss 'ounds must be turned out as they should be." " Well, then," replied Pigg, " you mun hev it your own way, see giv me my arles." " Your wot ?" inquired Mr. Jorrocks. Pigg. — " My arles ! we always get arles i' wor country." Mr. Jorrocks. — " Wot all your wittles at once ?" Pigg. — " No, man — sir, ar mean — summut to bind bargain like." Mr. Jorrocks. — " I twig! See, there's a shillin' for you. Now go and get your dinner — be werry keen, mind." Pigg ducked his head as he took the money, and retired. ^ Tp "-T? ^» " Murder ! Murder ! Here, sir ! Here, sir .'" exclaimed Benjamin, bursting into the room after the lapse of a few minutes, with fear and anger depicted in his face, " That great h'ugly beast's taken the shoulder o' mutton onto his plate, and swears the taters and gravy are good enough for Betsay and me." " Taken the shoulder of mutton onto his plate," repeated Mr. Jorrocks in astonishment, " impos- sible, Binjimin I the man told me he had no appetite at all." " Ah, but he has,'' retorted Benjamin with re- o3 298 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, doubled energy, " and lie swears he'll pick his teeth with the bone, and break my 'ead with it when he's done — I never see'd such a great h'ugly beast in all my life." " Veil, I'll go and see arter this," said Mr. Jorrocks, shaking his head, and buttoning up his breeches pockets, as he rose from his chair with the air of a man determined to show fight. ^ ^ w tF " How NOW !" roared Mr. Jorrocks, bursting into the kitchen, to the astonishment of James Pigg, who, knife in hand, was cutting away at the shoulder of mutton, to the infinite indignation of Batsay, who seemed about to contend for her share of the prog. " How NOW !" repeated Mr. Jorrocks in a still louder voice, which had the effect of making Pigg drop the mutton and jump up from the table. " Didn't you tell me," said Mr. Jorrocks, speaking very slowly at the commencement, and boiling up as he went on, " didn't you tell me as 'ow that you hadn't no h'appetite, and yet I finds you seizin' the meat wot's to serve the kitchen for dinner and the parlour for lunch — Vot do you mean by sich haudacity, you great long-legged Scotch sinner !" " 'Ord bliss ye," replied Pigg, " ar was nabbut teasin* yon, bit bowdekite," pointing to Benjam in THE SPA HUNT. 299 " mar appetite may be a bit brisker this morn than at most times, for ar had a lang walk, but ar wasn't gannin' to eat all the grub ; only that bit bastard wad set up his gob, and say ar was to be under him, see ar thought ar'd jist let him see whether or no at startin'." " Veil, but," replied Mr. Jorrocks, calmly, ''^fightin vont do : I doesn't grudge you the mat- ter o' the mutton, but there must be unanimity and concord, or we shalln't kill no foxes. Bin- jamin's a fine bony," looking at him, " and will fulfil the duties of his station, by which means alone a man can rise to h'eminence and distinction — hem! and get rich, which is a werry great thing, hem ! — and give satisfaction, and gain unbounded applause, hem ! — so now jest settle yourselves to your dinners, and don't let me have any more nonsense" — saying which Mr. Jorrocks walked deliberately out of the kitchen, and shut the door upon the party. But though our worthy friend had thus apparently settled the difficulty, he was too good a judge not to see the importance of an early understanding between Benjamin and Pigg as to their relative situations ; and, as the former had to be lowered to the advancement of the lat- ter, Mr. Jorrocks had to summon all his dexterity to reduce the one without gi\^ng a triumph to the other. Not that Benjamin would have been 300 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, difficult to replace, or indeed any loss, but Mr. Jorrocks did not like losing all the training lie had given him, and which he still flattered him- self would work him into a good and cheap ser- vant. How far our too confiding master's antici- pations were likely to be realized, the reader has most likely formed some opinion for himself. Still, Mr. Jorrocks knew the boy too well to sup- pose that he would easily brook having any one put over him, and the way of doing it occupied Mr. Jorrocks's thoughts all the afternoon. As the shades of evening were succeeded by winter's darkness, and Mr. Jorrocks had emptied his third tumbler of brandy-and-water, he stirred his fire, and rang for candles. Benjamin speedily appeared ; but, instead of allowing the youth to depart upon bringing them, he ordered him to take a chair on the other side of the table, and listen to what he had to say. Mr. Jorrocks then arranged the candles so that one threw a light on the boy and the other on his book, without their being too near the fire to suffer from the heat. Thus prepared, he gave the fire a finishing poke, and clearing his voice with a loud hem ! addressed the boy as follows : — " ]Si ow, Binjimin," said he, " the 'igh road to fame and to fortin' is open to you — there is no sayin' what keenness, combined with sagacity and THE SPA HUXT. 301 cleanliness, may accomplish. You have all the ingredients of a great man, and h'opportunity only is wantin' to dewelope them." " Yes, sir," said Benjamin, assenting to the proposition. Mr. Jorrocks paused, for it was as far as he had arranged matters in his mind, and the answer rather put him out. " Now, Binjimin," at length he resumed, opening his book at random as he spoke, " this book is the werry best wot ever was written, and is worth all other works put together. It is the h'immortal Peter Beckford's Thoughts upon 'Unting. Thoughts upon 'UntingI" re- peated Mr. Jorrocks, casting up his eyes, " My vig, wot a title ! Take any page of the book you like, and it's full of reason and genuine substantial knowledge. See!" said Mr. Jorrocks, "I've opened it at page 268, and how his opinions tally with my own. " ' Eagerness and impetuosity,' he says, ' are such essential parts of this diwersion, that I am never more surprized than when I see a fox-'unter without them.' " Charmin' idea !" exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, looking up at the ceiling, " Dash my vig! how true it is. Whoever heard of a lazy fox-'unter ? A man may be late for every thing — late to bed, late to breakfast, late to dinner, late into the city — but if he's a real out-and-outer, he'll never be late at the cover side. Vot, I ax, should 302 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, be done with a man wot is slack ? Wot should be done with a man wot is slack, I axes you, Binja- min?" repeated Mr. Jorrocks, after pausing for an answer. Benjamin was beat for a reply ; but seeing his master's glistening optics fixed upon him, he at length drawled out, " Don't know I'm sure." " Don't know, you beggar ! " responded Mr. Jorrocks, bristling as he spoke, " I'll tell you then, you warmint. He should be choaked — strangled in fact!" " Yes, Sir," said Benjamin, quite agreeable. " Now then," continued Mr. Jorrocks, search- ing in the table of contents for the chapter he wanted, " I wants to tell you wot the great Mr. Beckford says respecting the vipper-in, and I begs you'll pay partikler attention, for every word deserves to be printed in letters of gold, and then, when you understand the duties, James Pigg and you will go 'and-in-'and together, like the sign of the Mutual Assurance h'office, and we shall have no more wranglin' about shoulders o' mutton or who's to have the upper 'and. — 'limiting is a thing wot admits of no diwision of interests. We must be all on one side like the 'andle of a tin-pot, or like Bridgenorth election. The master, the'ounds, and the servants, are one great unity, radiating from a common centre, like the threads of a Bedford- THE SPA HUNT. 303 shire bobbin pillow — hem — and all that sort o' thing — Now," continued Mr. Jorrocks, turning to the book, — " here's the chapter wot I wonts, — No. 9, page one hundred and twenty-two, and again, let me entreat your 'ernest attention. Mr. Jorrocks then commenced reading as follows : — " ' With regard to the vipper-in, he should be attentive and obedient to the 'untsman ;'— -atten- tive and obedient to the 'untsman, you hear, Binjimin, ' that is to say, always on the look- out for orders, and ready to obey them — not 'anging back, shufflin', and tryin' to excuse himself, but cheerful and willin', and as his 'oss,' says the immortal author will probably have most to do, the lighter he is the better, though if he be a good 'ossman the objection of his weight will be sufficiently counterbalanced.' " Then, mark wot he says — " ' He must not be conceited.' — That's a beautiful idea," observed Mr. Jorrocks, fixing his eyes on the boy, and one to which I must 'eartily say ' ditto.' " ' He must not be conceited !' No, indeed, he must not, if he's to serve under me, and wishes to escape the acquaintance of my big vip. No conceited beo^o-ar will ever do for J. J. I had one formerly,' " continued Mr. Jorrocks, reading on, " ' who, instead of stoppin' the 'ounds as he ought, would try to kill a fox by himself. — This fault is unj^ardonable.' 304 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, " Dash my vig if it isn't" exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, " a nasty shabby, selfish trick into the bargain. — 'Ow I would trounce a chap wot I caught at that game — I'd teach him to kill foxes by himself. But hark to me again, Binjimin." " ' He should always maintain to the 'untsman's holloa, and stop such hounds as diwide from it.' " That's excellent sense and plain English," observed Mr. Jorrocks, looking at the boy. " ' When stopped, he should get forward with them, after the 'untsman.' " Good sense again," observed Mr. Jorrocks. " ' He must always be content to act an under part.' " Mark those words, Binjimin, and let them be engraved on your mind's memory." " ' He must always be content to act an under part.' Mr. Jorrocks then omitted the qualifying sentence that follows, and proceeded in his reading. " ' You have heard me say, that when there is much riot, I prefer an excellent vipper-in to an excellent 'untsman. The opinion, I believe, is new ; I must therefore, endeavour to explain it. My meanin', is this— that I think I should have better sport, and kill more foxes with a mode- rate 'untsman, and an excellent vipper-in, than THE SPA HUNT. 305 witli the best of 'untsmen without such an assistant. You will say, perhaps, that a good 'untsman will make a good vipper-in ; not such, however, as I mean ;— his talent must be born with him. " ' His talent must be born with him,' repeated Mr. Jorrocks, " that is to say, he must have the bump of Fox-un-ta-tive-ness strongly deweloped,' —adding to himself " wonder if that beggar, Binjamin, has it." " ' My reasons are, that good 'ounds (bad I would not keep) — Nor I, either,' — observed Mr. Jorrocks, — " ' oftener need the one than the other ; and genius, which in a vipper-in, if attended by obedience, his first requisite, can do no hurt : in an 'untsman, is a dangerous, though a desirable quality ; and if not accompanied with a large share of prudence, and I may say, 'umility, will oftentimes spoil your sport and hurt your 'ounds. A gentleman told me that he heard the famous Will Dean, when his 'ounds were runnin' hard in a line with Daventry, from whence they were at that time many miles distant, swear exceedingly at the vipper-in.' " A werry improper proceedin' on his part,' ob- served Mr. Jorrocks," without looking off the book. " * Sayin', loot business have you here?—i\\e man was amazed at the question — why dont 306 HANDLEY CROSS. you know,' said he, ' and he d — d to you, that the great earth at Daventry is open ? The man got forward and reached the earth just time enough to see the fox go in.' " Ow provokin' " observed Mr. Jorrocks, " ab- solutely distressin' — enough to make the Arch- bishop of York swear." Here, a loud snore interrupted our friend, and looking up, Mr. Jorrocks discovered Benjamin sound asleep, with his head hanging over his left shoulder. Shutting the book in disgust, he took a deliberate aim at his whipper-in's head, and discharged the volume with such precision, that he knocked the back off the book. Benjamin ran roaring out of the room. 307 CHAPTER XV. " e ancientest house, and the best for housekeeping in this county, or the next; and though the master of it write but yeoman, I know no esquire like him." — Merry Beggars. " Imitation is the sincerest flattery." — Lacon. " Dash my \ig, if here b'aint Stubbs !" exclaimed Mr. Jorrocks, as the pawing of a horse at the arched gateway of Diana Lodge, caused him to look up from his breakfast. " Stubbs !" exclaimed Mrs. Jorrocks. " Stubbs !" repeated Belinda, with a blush and a smile ; and Jorrocks ran foul of Betsey in the passage, as she came to announce that " Mr. Stubbs was at the gate." Charles Stubbs was just four-and-twenty — handsome, witty, and gay, he was welcome where- ever he went. In height he was just five feet ten, full-limbed, but not coarse, with a clean- ness of make and shape that bespoke strength and muscular activity. His dark brown hair clustered in unstudied locks upon a lofty fore- head, while bright brown eyes beamed through 308 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, the long fringe tliat encircled them, giving life and animation to a dark intelligent counte- nance. Charles was the only son of a rich Yorkshire yeoman — of a man who, clinging' to the style of his ancestors, called himself gentleman, instead of esquire — Gentlemen they had been styled for many generations, and son had succeeded sire without wishing for a change, The old lattice-windowed manor-house, sub- stantial, and stone-roofed, stood amid lofty oaks, upon a gentle eminence above the bend of a rapid river — myriads of rooks nestled in the branches, and the rich meadows around were studded with gigantic oaks, and venerable weather-beaten firs. The finest flocks and herds grazed in the pastures, ducks were on the pond, pigs and geese revelled in the stubbles, while the spacious yard at the back of the house, contained Dorking fowls, the finest turkeys, and the best of cows. Old Stubbs was in short a gentleman farmer. His wife had been dead some years, and Charles and a daughter were the only ties that bound him to the world. The common desire of seeing one's son better than one's self, induced old Stubbs to give Charles a good education, not that he sent him to College, but he placed him at a good Yorkshire school, which, just as he was leaving, and the old gentle- THE SPA HUNT. 309 man was wondering " what to make of him," he happened, while serving at York assizes, to be struck with the easy eloquence of a neighbour's son, whom he remembered a most unpromising boy, that he determined to see* if Charles would not train from the saddle and gun and make a barrister too. Having ascertained the line of study that gen- tleman had pursued, in due course, old Stubbs and his son started for London, per Highflyer, the father inside and the son on the box. The Piazza Coffee House had the honour of receiving them, and after a week spent in sight seeing, during which they each had their pockets picked half a dozen times while staring into the shop windows, they found themselves one fine morn- ing at the chambers of the great Mr. Snarle, in Lincoln's Inn Square. Mr. Snarle was a great conveyancer, his opinion was nearly as good as law, and having plenty to do himself, he took as many pupils as ever he could get, to help each other to do nothing. Each of these paid him a hundred guineas a year, in return for which they had the run of a dingey, carpetless room, the use of some repul- sive-looking desks, and liberty to copy twenty volumes of manuscript precedents, that the great Mr. Snarle had copied himself when a pupil with great Mr. somebody else. 310 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, The chapel clock was striking nine as father and son squeezed through the iron bars in the Portugal Street entrance to Lincoln's Inn, and before they got to the uncouth outer door that shuts in the set, the great conveyancer had handed his great coat to his bustling clerk, and was pulling a little brown wig straight, prepara- tory to setting to for the day. The newly-lit lire, shed a scanty ray over the cheerless comfortless apartment, which was fitted up with a large li- brary-table piled with dusty papers, and a rag of a carpet under it, three or four faded morocco chairs, and a large glass book-case, with an alman- ack flopping in front, " Good morning, gentlemen," said the parch- ment-faced old man, as the clerk ushered the fresh fly into the spider's web. " Hope to make your better acquaintance," bowing to each. # # # # Old Stubbs would have sat down and told him all his hopes and fears, but Mr. Snarle cut short his dialogue by looking at his watch and produ- cing a little red volume indorsed cash book, he politely inquired what name he should enter, and then observing that his clerk would receive the fee, and show Mr. Charles what to do, he civilly bowed them into the outer room. Contrasting Mr. Snarle's brevity with his coun- try solicitor's loquacity, old Stubbs told over his THE SPA HUNT. 311 liimdrcd guineas to Mr. Bowker, the aforesaid clerk ; and just as he was leaving Lincoln's Inn, his mind received consolation for the otherwise unpromising investment, by seeing the Lord Chancellor arrive in his coach, and enter his court, preceded by the mace and other glittering in- signia of office. " Who knows," thought old Stubbs to himself, " but Charles may some day occupy that throne;" and an indistinct vision flitted across the old man's mind, of stuffing the woolsack with the produce of his own sheep. Shortly after, with an aching heart and fervent prayers for his son's happiness, the old gentleman returned to Yorkshire ; and Charles, having re- moved his portmanteau from the Piazza to a first- floor lodging in Hadlow Street, Burton Crescent, made his second appearance at the chambers of Mr. Snarle. # # # # " Oh, it's i/oM .'" exclaimed Mr. Bowker, answer- ing the gentle rat-tat-tat at the outer door, " come in. Sir, come in — no occasion to knock ! — No cere- mony ! — Paid your footing you know — One oius'' Mr. Bowker, or, Bill Bowker, as he was gene- rally called, was a stout, square-built, ruddy-com- plexioned, yellow-haired, bustling, middle-aged man, with a great taste for flash clothes and jewel- lery. On the present occasion, he sported a smart nut-brown coat, with a velvet collar; a sky- 312 HANDLEY CROSS; OR, blue satin stock, secured by numerous pins and brooches ; a double-breasted red tartan waistcoat, well laid back ; with brownish drab stockingnette pantaloons, and hessian boots. A great bunch of Mosaic seals dangled from a massive chain of the same material; and a cut steel guard, one passing over his waistcoat, secured a pair of mother-of- pearl-cased eye-glasses, though Bill was not in the least short-sighted. " You're early," said Bowker, as Charles depo- sited a dripping umbrella in the stand. "You don't look like a sap either," added he, eyeing Charles in a free and easy sort of way, for Bill was a real impudent fellow. "What is the right hour?" inquired Charles, with a schoolboy sort of air. " Right hour ! " exclaimed Bill, " any time you like — saps come at opening, others at noon, the honourable not till afternoon. There are two chaps copying precedents now, that the laundress left here at ten last night — {tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, went a little hand bell). There's old Snarle, ob- served Bill, bundling off, adding, as he went, " be back to you directly." ^ ^ tP ^ "Confound these covenants for quiet enjoy- ment!" muttered he, returning and ojiening a pigeon-holed cupboard, labelled like the drawers against a chemist's shop wall ; " I get no quiet THE SPA HUNT. 313 enjoyment for them I know. One, two, three — there — three and one left," returning* a few sheets of manuscript to their hole, " free from incum- brances." "Wish I was," thought Bill — " and for further assurance — one, two, three, counted Bill, " now let's see if he'll have the further assurance to ask for any more to-day." # # # # "Well now, what can I do for you?" inquired he, returning from the delivery of his " common forms." There's Squelchback's settlement, that most pupils copy — five hundred pages ! produced ten issues, an arbitration, and a Chancery suit — Great precedent ! " But I think I've something in my pee- jacket that will suit you better," observed Bill, taking up a great coarse large-buttoned pilot jacket, and producing a paper from the pocket. "There," said he opening it out, "there's 'Bell's Life in London,' you'll see a letter from me signed 'Ajax.' Bring it back when you've done, and don't let the Honourable catch it or he'll burn it." Saying which. Bill presented our pupil with the paper, and opening the door of an adjoining apartment, ushered Charles into a room on the right, in which sat two youths in very seedy coats, copying away out of manuscript books. " Mr. Stubbs, gentlemen !" exclaimed Bill with an air of importance, " Mr. Frost, Mr. Stubbs ; VOL. I. p 314 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, Mr. Stubbs, Mr. Frost ; Mr. Jones, Mr. Stubbs ; Mr. Stubbs, Mr. Jones." Mr. Frost and Mr. Jones rose from their chairs, and greeted Mr. Stubbs much in the manner of debtors receiving a chum into their already over-crowded apartment. Frost and Jones were both working men ; with their ways to make in the world, they had paid their hun- dred guineas for a high sounding name, and betaken themselves to the mechanical drudgery of precedent copying, with an industry worthy of a better direction. Old Snarle sometimes had them in to settle drafts that either had drawn, but the majority of their instruction consisted in reperusing what he had settled without the benefit of the " why and wherefore." Old Snarle was too crusty, and too high in the profession to condescend to explain. Stubbs's early appearance at Chambers inspired hopes that he was going to be a working man, but the sight of " Bell's Life '' demolished the idea, and the conversation died out as the pupils gradually resumed their weary occupations. " The Life" was uncommonly lively that morn- ing ; there had been a great fight at No Man's Land, between Big-headed Bob and the Pet of the Fancy, which appeared clothed in all the glowing language with which the editor colours his pugilistic accounts. How Big-head was caught, and his nob put in chancery, how he THE SPA HUNT. 315 sent the Pet's teeth down his trap in return, how both were floored, and picked up by their seconds with their claret corks out. Then there was a host of correspondence ; complaints against stewards ; accounts of races ; nints to judges ; and Ajax's letter, in which he assumed the toga of his master, and dating from Lincoln's Inn, gave some very queer law respect- ing landlord and tenant. The challenges too were numerous. Ugly Borrock of Bristol, would eat boiled mutton and turnips w4th any man in England ; Tom Jumper had a terrier he would match against any dog of his weight for ten sovereigns, to be heard of at the Jews Harp, City Road ; Jem Scamp could be backed to whistle ; Tom King to run on all fours ; and the Lord knows what else. The advertisements too, were peculiar. In addition to the usual inquiry after hounds, and offers of horses, there were a suit of Daniel Lambert's clothes for sale, a preserved boa constrictor serpent, notice of vocalisation and frontal-frapidigitation, at the Coal-hole, and meeting of the judge and jury society at the Garrick's head. Charles kept reading and wondering, amid occasional interruptions from the arrival and introduction of pupils. They were mostly gen- tlemenly men, somewhat choaked into idleness by the prolixity of Squelchback's settlement. p 2 316 HANDLEY CROSS ; OR, Indeed, their chief claims to the title of reading men consisted in the perusal of the newspapers, of which old Snarle furnished the Times, and they clubbed for the Chronicle. Bowker's " Life" was well-known, and what with it and a pair of white cord trousers, Charles had on, they made up their minds that he was a " sporting man.*' Between twelve and one o'clock, all the gen- tlemen, except the honourable, had arrived, and the old question of " fire" or " no fire," was broached. This had been an open question in the Chambers ever since old Snarle commenced taking double the number of pupils the room would accommodate, and as it furnished great scope for eloquence and idleness, the debate fre- quently lasted a couple of hours, during which time the Sap's used to sneak out to dinner, generally getting back in time to vote. This day they stayed, expecting the new pupil would "hold forth," but he was so absorbed with Bell's Life, that when called upon by the chair, he gave a silent vote ; and just as Bill Bowker answered the bell, and let off his old joke about issuing a fiery facias, " the honourable" arrived, and the room was full. The Hon. Henry Lollington, the ninth son of an Earl, was quite a west-end man, and what is generally called a petite maitre. He was a tall, drawling, dancing sort of a man, in great request THE SPA HUNT. 317 at Almack's, and had a perfect abhorrence of any thing coarse or common-place. He was a mortal enemy to Mr, Bowker, who he kept at arm's length, instead of treating as an equal as some of the pupils did. " Mr. Bowkar," drawled he, as he encountered that worthy in the passage, " bring me a piece of papar, and let me give you orders about my letters — I'm going to Bath." " Yes, my Lud !" responded Bill, in a loud tone, to let Charles hear what a great man they had among them. " 'Deni you, Mr. Bowkar, I'm not a Lord," responded the Hon. Mr. Lullington. " Beg pardon, my LudV replied the imperturba- ble Bill, bustling out. Charles at this moment had got into the notices to correspondents, and was chuckling at their humorous originality. " Suppose one maa to wilfully fire at another with intention of taking awdy his life, but accidentally misses bis aim and kills another, will the laws oi'