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 All rights reserved. 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 Being Chapters from the Life and Fortunes of 
 Richard Ryder, otherwise Galloping Dick, 
 sometime Gentleman of the Road 
 

 By H B MflRRlOTTWdnON 
 
 LONPON: JOHN • LflNE‘L___ 
 
 CHICA60: 5TONE”rtNP°KIP10f1LL”D 
 
 i i n p cccxcvi i 
 
These Chapters have already appeared in the pages of the 
 “ Neva Review.” 
 
?S. 3 
 VY 5 3 3 <|p 
 
 
 Contents 
 
 Chapter I 
 
 & 
 
 ^0/* the Bishops Quandary , o/' the humourous 
 
 Events that ensued .... 
 
 Chapter II 
 
 Of the Man from Cornwall , with an Account of 
 what fell in Bristol Castle 
 
 Chapter III 
 
 Of the Ladys Chamber ; of how I trespassed 
 and of how I was so oddly entertained 
 
 ^ Chapter IV 
 
 > Of the Enterprise of the Kings Treasure 
 
 vii 
 
 i 
 
 >\> 
 
 45 
 
 9i 
 
 137 
 
Contents 
 
 Chapter V 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Of my Incarceration in the Jug , and of how the 
 Prisoner-Ordinary and 1 drank Wine to- 
 gether . . . . . . . 183 
 
 Chapter VI 
 
 Of a Meeting near Fulham , and of a Remarkable 
 
 Part I played . . . . . 231 
 
 Vlll 
 
Quandary, and of the 
 Events that ensued. 
 
 Of the Bishop’s 
 Humourous 
 
Chapter I 
 
 Of the Bishop’s Quandary, and of the 
 Humourous Events that ensued. 
 
 The chance seemed fallen into my hands, and 
 without my expectation. The place was very 
 privy; the sun stood at four of the afternoon, 
 and already the heaven was blackening overhead. 
 A thin cold wind whistled through the empty 
 trees, tossing the snow in spray, and the devil 
 of a hard night was brewing. In the centre 
 of the road, and bare to this desolation, the 
 carriage stood forlorn, the shafts half buried in a 
 drift, and the broken wheel full circle to the sky. 
 And there lay the Bishop, reclining against his 
 cushions, with his interrogating eyes upon me. 
 
 “ You say truly,” said the Bishop suavely, 
 “ the Church is ill-served by the minor clergy in 
 some gross particulars.” 
 
 He set the tips of his fingers together, and 
 
 3 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 complacently regarded the roof of his coach. 
 I confess that I was mightily taken with his 
 coolness, for he must needs have a notion of 
 my calling, and yet there he sat, with his 
 smug face uncrinkled, and his great body heaving 
 placidly, as though he had been this half-hour 
 at ease before his fire. I had the fancy to 
 thrust him a little closer and, springing from 
 Calypso, I drew to the carriage and leaned 
 my arms across the window. At this new 
 proximity he appeared to start ever so little, 
 and glanced at me from the edges of his eyes. 
 
 “There’s the rub,” says I. “For myself, 
 I am naturally a man of peace, who can split 
 a weasand with his sword upon occasion. I 
 pursue a sound life and a simple calling.” The 
 Bishop bowed in affable audience. “ I am 
 content with what goods the world, or chance, 
 provides. If there be some who have brought 
 evil accusations of greed upon me, why, what 
 matters it, if a man’s conscience be right with 
 his Maker? And you, my lord, will surely 
 know the calamitous and miserable calumniations 
 put upon our poor human nature ? ” 
 
 4 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 The Bishop nodded slowly. “ ’Tis just,” 
 says he, “for tongues will wag”; and re- 
 turned to the equable contemplation of his 
 cushions. The imperturbable air of those fat 
 features nettled me. 
 
 “Sometimes,” I resumed, “’tis true that I 
 have fallen away from my own conception of 
 myself. I have suffered from an egregious 
 desire to sound of fine repute, to cut a figure 
 in the world. That vice, we know, lies also 
 in the heart of many a priest.” 
 
 The Bishop assented gravely. “ But ’tis after 
 all but a minor flaw,” said I, “in a character 
 of cardinal virtues.” The Bishop waved his 
 hand politely, as though deprecating a matter 
 of small import. 
 
 “ And then ” said I. “ But I fear I 
 
 weary you ? ” The Bishop straightened him- 
 self upon his seat. “Indeed,” he replied, “I 
 find your case of much interest and instruction.” 
 
 I vowed that I would break his resolute 
 equanimity. “No man shall say,” says I with 
 some heat, “ that the Church has not ever 
 had my inward fealty. Leal son have I been 
 
 5 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 to her. I have paid tithes and given charities. 
 But ofttimes . . . i’ faith ” — and here I laughed 
 — “ ’twas fetched out of some noodle’s pocket.” 
 
 I paused. The Bishop lifted the tips of 
 his lingers apart, and looked at me. “I fear,” 
 said he, u that there is no conscience but carries 
 grievous burdens.” 
 
 He nestled more snugly in his cushions, 
 crossed his plump legs, and closed his eyes ; 
 and with the act seemed to dismiss me from 
 his presence. I surveyed him for a moment 
 in silence, and with some amazement. Not a 
 point upon his well-ordered body but witnessed 
 to a life of ease and dignity. He was full-fed ; 
 his spreading belly was arrogant with appetite ; 
 his broad calm face was rich with ample and 
 luxurious wastes. He was built generously 
 upon secure and comfortable years. And there 
 he lay, the rough wind thrashing his warm 
 flesh, obnoxious to the instant handling of a 
 wild highwayman, mumbling a conversation in 
 polite terms, unmoved by danger, and unde- 
 ranged by discomfort. The control of the 
 man was so admirable that I must push it to 
 
 6 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 its limits. “’Fore Heaven,” says I to myself, 
 “ I will see this fine courage topple down, 
 if I keep sheep by moonlight* for it.” I had 
 never a stomach for Mother Church, but this 
 damned ugly lump was come near to turn me 
 parson. I leaned over and tapped him on the 
 knee. He opened his eyes with an air of 
 weariness, and fastened them upon me with 
 a faint gesture of apology. 
 
 “I fear I have been rude enough to fall 
 asleep,” says he. 
 
 “Indeed,” I answered sharply, “’tis ill 
 manners, as you may see, to split through a 
 gentleman’s discourse so lightly. I did myself 
 the honour to begin you my history.” 
 
 “You must forgive me,” said the Bishop, 
 with that wave of his hand. “Pray continue. 
 To be sure — your history.” 
 
 “Hark’ee,” said I roughly. “You profess 
 yourself a vicar of God. Damn and shrive 
 — these be the transactions of your precious 
 trade ! You hold a knife to poor mortal 
 throats, and scare ’em with hell-fires, as I 
 
 * A pretty pastoral euphemism for “ hang in chains.” 
 
 7 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 might tickle those thick creases of your own. 
 And which were the greater sin ? ” I asked 
 with indignation. 
 
 “Indeed,” said he softly, “you do us both 
 injustice. But ’tis a bitter night for so long 
 and engrossing an argument as this is like to 
 develop between us. ’T would please me greatly 
 else, and if I may but see you at some other 
 
 time ” He bowed, and left the invitation 
 
 in his bow. “But I was to hear your history,” 
 says he. “I interrupt you. Pray proceed.” 
 
 The serenity of his phrases staggered me, 
 and I could do naught but scrape my wits up 
 in a heap and burst out on him. “ Fore gad,” 
 I broke forth, “I have stopped a man’s vitals 
 for less impudence than yours. A bloody 
 priest, forsooth, to prate of justice and of 
 argument ! You are a man of Holy Writ. 
 Faugh! Call me a ruffian, a cut-throat, or a 
 vagabond — but I have broke your decalogue 
 into a thousand pieces, and turned and shattered 
 ’em again.” 
 
 “ That,” said the Bishop gravely, “ lies 
 betwixt yourself and your Maker. ’Tis a pity 
 
 8 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 in so well-favoured a youth as you would 
 seem,” and his glance strayed over me de- 
 liberately. “But I have known many ruffians 
 like yourself in a long and lively experience.” 
 
 He put his hand to his coat, and slowly 
 withdrawing a snuff-box, tapped meditatively 
 upon the lid. And at the sight I was divided 
 strangely in a confusion between a roaring 
 sense of laughter and an angry surge of ill- 
 temper. Swinging in the balance uncertainly 
 for a moment, I dropped with a plump at 
 length upon the side of passion. The Bishop 
 was staring into his snuff. I rapped a pistol 
 over his knuckles, and when he looked up he 
 gazed instead down the long hollows of the 
 barrel. 
 
 “Come,” says I, with a rough oath, “forth 
 with your precious guineas, or I’ll spoil the 
 smooth beauty of those cheeks. I will have 
 you unload your pockets, my fat vicegerent, 
 an’ I cannot force you disburden your conscience. 
 Off with your jewels and your rings ! ” 
 
 The Bishop inspected the weapon without 
 flinching, and then looked me quietly in the 
 
 9 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 face. “You have been very tedious, my 
 friend,” says he. “ Indeed, I was in some hopes 
 that my rascals would have returned ere you 
 had found your spirit for the job.” 
 
 I could not but admire him even through my 
 irritation, but I kept the muzzle at his head, 
 and cried out impatiently : “ Ha’ done, my lord, 
 ha’ done! ’Tis ill jesting with Dick Ryder 
 on his rounds. Out, out with your long, fat 
 purse.” 
 
 For the first time in our intercourse a slight 
 smile gleamed in the Bishop’s eyes, and his 
 white face fell into deeper corrugations. With- 
 drawing the rings from his fingers, he placed 
 them with his purse in my hand without a 
 word, and looked at me inquiringly. I clapped 
 the booty in my pockets with a nod of satis- 
 faction, while dropping back into his seat he 
 slowly re-crossed his legs. 
 
 “And now,” quoth he, “you will, I trust, 
 allow me to repose in quiet. I have had a long 
 day’s journey, and my travels are not yet at 
 their term. Perhaps you will permit me to 
 say that your conversation, which I doubt not 
 
 io 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 would have engaged me very pleasantly upon 
 another occasion, fell somewhat inopportune. I 
 am an old man, and have tired. If you will be 
 so good as to leave me, betwixt now and the 
 return of my coachman with the horses I shall 
 have the felicitous chance of sleep.”* 
 
 “My lord,” I answered amiably, for my 
 ill-humour was gone, and I liked the posses- 
 sion of the man, “I wish you the deepest of 
 slumber ” — he inclined his head courteously. 
 “ And if,” says I, u there is any favour you 
 might require of me ere I go, why, damn it,” 
 says I, “you shall have it, and welcome.” 
 
 • “ My good Ryder, as that is your name,” 
 said the Bishop suavely, “ nothing in the world, 
 I assure you, save perhaps that you will adjust 
 the window, for the night is falling very shrewd.” 
 I threw Calypso’s bridle over my arm and 
 bent myself to his request. As I finished, 
 and was on the point of slapping to the door, 
 the Bishop glanced at me. “I fear,” said he, 
 with another smile, “ that none of the guineas 
 in that somewhat lean purse will find their 
 way to church. ’Tis, of course, no business 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 of mine. I do not presume to dictate to any 
 man’s conscience. You pay tithes, you say, 
 and give in charity. It is excellent hearing, 
 and I confess that I was in some hope a little 
 earlier, when you vaunted those virtues so 
 proudly, that some of my guineas might per- 
 chance come back to me hereafter. But it was 
 a momentary thought only. You know your 
 own trade. I wish you good-night. I fear ’tis 
 a cold ride for you.” And he dismissed me 
 with a gentle motion of his hands. 
 
 Now I have ever been a fellow of red-hot 
 impulse, and my passions and my humour 
 mingle so strangely and vie so oddly, that 
 I swear I can scarce tell at one moment what 
 fit will take me the next. And at this in- 
 imitable farewell, so suavely phrased, and so 
 courteously charged, stinging the while with 
 such faint and friendly satire, I was so vastly 
 tickled that I could not forbear bursting into 
 laughter in that silent road. 
 
 “The devil take me!” says I, “ I love a 
 bishop, and to lighten a brother- wit is monstrously 
 against my stomach. So here’s for you, my 
 
 12 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 lord.” And with that I swept the purse and 
 the rings at a motion into his apron. 
 
 The Bishop stirred and regarded me with 
 mild surprise. Then, smiling and shrugging 
 his heavy shoulders, he replaced the rings 
 slowly upon his hands. “This, I take it, is 
 not repentance ? ” he asked, thoughtfully. 
 
 “Nay,” said I jauntily. “Take it for what 
 you will. Call it a whim, conceive it a doting 
 fancy for a tough old cock, or imagine me a 
 penitent ripe for the altar. It matters not so 
 you carry off your jewels in safety.” 
 
 “You are mistaken, Ryder,” says the old 
 gentleman, shaking his head. “Were it a 
 whim, I should expect a sharp change. Should 
 it be a pious penitence, I should have no option 
 save to pursue the gracious miracle — with sound 
 religious advice and the ordinances of the 
 Church. And if it came of a sudden apprecia- 
 tion of, as you say” — he paused — “myself and 
 my poor merits ” — he paused again and, having 
 settled his rings, took a pinch of snuff — “I 
 should have a mind to ask your company at 
 dinner.” 
 
 13 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 “Curse me!” says I, “let us put it at that, 
 then. The cold is peaking my bowels into a 
 very respectable appetite.” 
 
 The Bishop dusted the snuff from his apron 
 and fell back into his lounge. “You press me 
 too hard,” said he, reproachfully. “I am not 
 of so young a blood to take these sharp turns 
 with you ; ” and he eyed me as if inviting 
 speech. 
 
 “The Devil!” I retorted warmly. “I will 
 fasten myself upon no man’s hospitality. ’Twas 
 of your own notion.” 
 
 “An offer,” he explained smoothly, “upon 
 a fitting occasion.” 
 
 “Well,” says I, laughing, “what occasion 
 will better this ? ” 
 
 The Bishop considered me coldly. “ I am to 
 dine,” he observed, “ with my Lord Petersham, 
 who celebrates to-night the marriage of the 
 Lady Mary.” 
 
 I laughed again. “And you with a broken 
 coach, my lord ! ” I cried. 
 
 The Bishop reflected. “It is true,” he re- 
 plied, “ that I am in some difficulty, but my 
 
 14 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 rascals will be here shortly. And that, too,” 
 he added, with a smiling blink, “upon the top 
 of yourself, my friend.” 
 
 “A fig for your rascals!” said I. “They 
 are lucky if they get them a pair of horses 
 within five miles of Wretford this night.” The 
 Bishop frowned. “ The night is bleak and 
 wild,” I continued, “and the snow is piled in 
 deep drifts upon the highways. If your coach- 
 man has the road by heart ” 
 
 “He is a stranger to these parts,” interrupted 
 the Bishop. 
 
 “Why, then,” says I, “he will reach your 
 lordship by cock-crow, if he reach at all. Or 
 rather, we shall stumble upon his body in some 
 gutter by the way.” 
 
 “Your suggestions are drawn black, Ryder,” 
 sighed the Bishop. 
 
 “As black as the night, or my own heart, 
 your lordship,” said I gaily. 
 
 “And you would propose ?” he asked, 
 
 after a pause. 
 
 “An inn close by, at which you might sup 
 and repose with warmth and comfort. A bottle 
 
 15 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 of wine and a roast loin of veal, my lord ; and 
 me, too, Dick Ryder, for company, in admiring 
 witness of your estimable qualities.” I con- 
 cluded with a long congee, and when I looked 
 up again he was watching me with some 
 suspicion. 
 
 u Faith,” said I, “ you have reached me forth 
 a warm invitation, and you would now with- 
 draw? Fie, fie! my lord. But as I may not 
 be your guest for lack of confidence, sink me,” 
 says I, “ then you shall be mine, and none the 
 worse for that.” 
 
 The Bishop cocked his head upon one side 
 and scrutinised me carefully. 
 
 “ Lord, Lord ! ” I cried, u but here’s a doubt- 
 ing Thomas ! ” And loosening my belt I flung 
 pistols and sword upon his lap. 
 
 The Bishop smiled, and took a pistol by the 
 muzzle in a most gingerly manner of distaste. 
 “I have never set off a firearm but once,” he 
 mused, u and by accident it hit a grocer.” 
 
 “ Pooh ! ” said I, grinning, “ ’tis all one, 
 whether of design or accident. The hole is 
 blown, and the poor groaning soul slides 
 
 16 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 through. And I call you to witness that ’tis 
 not so much for the meddling of your own 
 fingers as to secure the weapons out of my 
 own reach, and for the sake of these insolent 
 suspicions.” 
 
 “I do you wrong, Ryder,” said the Bishop 
 gravely, “I do you wrong. But I will have 
 none of these detestable things about me.” 
 And he pushed them from him with a little 
 grimace of disgust. 
 
 “Why, then, let us begin,” I urged. “And 
 if you will take my mare, I will put us both 
 upon the proper way to a comfortable retire- 
 ment.” 
 
 “And my Lord Petersham,” said the Bishop, 
 with a twinkle in his eye, “ must wait ? ” 
 
 “ Faith, and he must,” I answered, “ until 
 our stomachs are filled, when I will myself 
 conduct you upon the road.” 
 
 “Captain Ryder,” said the Bishop, lurching 
 clumsily out of the carriage, “I am much in 
 your debt for your insistence.” 
 
 The darkness had now fallen pretty thick, 
 and the snow lay deep and soft underfoot; 
 
 17 
 
 B 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 but we made safely, if at some pains, down 
 the bye-road which led to Wretford, the Bishop 
 a black lump upon Calypso, and myself straddling 
 the carriage horse which his servant had left. 
 The wind took us in the hindquarters only, and 
 for that I was glad, as it stung like a thousand 
 knives upon the naked face. I was mightily 
 pleased to be out of that bleak night and 
 stowed in a snug warm house : and in this 
 regard I’ll warrant the Bishop was none behind 
 me. The inn was empty; but the chamber 
 into which the innkeeper showed us roared 
 with flaming logs, and at the first glow of the 
 light upon the wooden walls the Bishop turned 
 to me and smiled. “We shall do well,” he 
 says, “if the supper be in any keeping with 
 this show of comfort.” 
 
 “And by the Lord, my lord,” I put in, “you 
 may trust Dick Ryder for that.” 
 
 “And now,” says he, still smiling and very 
 affably, “ is it you that dine with me, or am I 
 determined as the guest ? ” 
 
 “My lord,” said I, bobbing to. him, for I 
 would take him in his own vein, “we gentle- 
 
 18 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 men of the road claim the honours of the road ; 
 and if you will receive the hospitality of the 
 road, your lordship’s invitation shall stand over 
 for a better occasion.” 
 
 I think he was affected by the impudence 
 of my offer, as indeed I had meant him to be, 
 for he . chuckled ever so softly, and turning to 
 the fire warmed his hands. “So be it, Ryder, 
 so be it,” he said. 
 
 My stomach w r as tolerable enough when 
 the feast was served, and I clapped my spurs 
 under the chair and fell to with all my teeth. 
 And none so backward was his lordship, 
 neither. He snuffed up the rich odours of 
 the stuffed veal with his inordinate nostrils ; 
 he breathed in the fine-smelling spiceries with 
 an air; and he took possession of the table 
 with magnificent and easy pomp. The dignified 
 behaviour of the creature, so incongruous to 
 his circumstances, tickled me rarely, and I could 
 have slapped my thigh to see me there, squat- 
 ting over against such company, with all the 
 graces of an Earl at Court. And first he flings 
 me out his napkin and spreads it evenly across 
 
 19 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 his belly. “And now,” says he, “a little grace, 
 Ryder, will come convenient ’twixt you and me. 
 We must e’en consecrate a feast derived one 
 knows not whence.” 
 
 He spoke so smooth and with so gentle a 
 sarcasm that I should have been a sorry knave 
 to have taken any offence out of his words. 
 Indeed, I had no disposition now to look upon 
 anything save with humour, and the phrase was 
 pat enough in all knowledge. 
 
 “If your reverence,” says I, “cannot muster 
 prayers for both, w r hy I’ll make shift to furbish 
 up a tag for myself.” 
 
 “ ’Tis part of our episcopal duty,” he re- 
 turned, “ to take charge of these small 
 courtesies to our Maker.” And with that, 
 having muttered a scrap or so — which did well 
 enough for me, God knows ! — he whipped up 
 a knife and fell on the victuals. 
 
 There was a fulness about his hunger which 
 was much to my mind. The fire roared behind 
 him, and the room was very pleasantly filled 
 with warmth and perfume. I cannot bring to 
 mind that we spoke much or of consequence 
 
 20 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 for the first ten minutes. But somewhere 
 about the third course (an extremely well 
 jugged hare), and when for my own part the 
 edge of my appetite was blunting, I looked up 
 and met the Bishop’s eye, which was fixed upon 
 me meditatively. He raised his glass and sipped 
 of the claret slowly; set it down upon the 
 table; and pinching up his eyes the while, 
 stared thoughtfully from it to me and from 
 me to it again. 
 
 “Of a cold hard night, Ryder,” said he, 
 picking out his words, “a warm soft wine 
 lines a stomach gratefully. We oppose oppo- 
 sites in the meetest sense; and, to take my 
 own poor judgment, the frankest advice, if 
 it be for the common comfort, consists with 
 the most polite and sacred usages of society. 
 
 This wine ?” He paused and inquired of 
 
 me in silence. 
 
 I brought my fist with a thump upon the 
 board. “ Sink me for a scurvy worthless 
 loon,” said I angrily, for I was in a blush of 
 shame to have played so evil a trick on him. 
 I took a draught myself, and plumped down 
 
 21 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 the glass with an oath. “ ’Tis so, by Heaven,” 
 I said; “cold harsh stuff and biting to the 
 vitals.” And I sprang at the door to call 
 upon mine host. 
 
 “ I felt,” explained the Bishop politely, 
 “ that some point was askew in a dinner else 
 so perfect.” 
 
 I roared to the landlord, who came falling 
 up the stairs in his fuss and fright. I took 
 him in by the shoulders and drubbed him with 
 round abuse. “Perish my soul,” I cried, 
 “ you filthy tapster, to fub off upon the 
 Bishop and me, this griping verjuice, that 
 is fit not even for a surfeit of swine ! Are 
 we gutter hogs,” I said, “ to swill on swipes and 
 sour the edges of our teeth on vinegar ? And 
 his lordship there of as delicate a stomach as 
 any lady in the straw ! ” 
 
 There was never a wretch made so mean a 
 figure as the rascal when I had him by the 
 collar under this storm ; but the Bishop said 
 nothing till the fool was got off, shambling in 
 a fit of terror, to his cellars. Then he lay 
 back and looked at me very mildly. 
 
 22 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 “ There is a certain rough vigour in your 
 tongue, Ryder,” said he, “ and of scurril terms 
 you have a most remarkable empire. But it 
 sounds so strangely in my ears that it has 
 fallen with something of a clap upon me. I 
 will not criticise my host,” says he, “and to 
 cross the habits of a life smacks of a meddling 
 Anabaptist. But, an you must march in your 
 full habit as a man, ‘Bishop’ were best left 
 unsaid, Ryder, and ‘his lordship’ might with 
 profit hold over till the blood runs cool. You 
 will observe that I tuck up my apron for 
 convenience.” 
 
 “You speak well, my lord,” I replied 
 penitently, “and if you will be so good as 
 shrive me for the sacrilege, split me, I’ll hold 
 by your directions for the future.” 
 
 And here came the flasks with the innkeeper, 
 which, uncorking, we dipped our noses in a rare 
 old Burgundy. My lord held up his head and 
 blinked at me good-humouredly across the table. 
 “For all that I will not deny,” said he, “the 
 value of such vigour.” 
 
 W e drank again. The wine was rarely 
 23 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 generous. The Bishop drained his glass and 
 poured it full afresh. He beamed at me, and 
 twirled the shank between his fingers and 
 against the light. 
 
 “’Twas an admirable thought, Ryder,” he 
 said, smiling, “that you should have recalled 
 this inn. I wonder, now, where that laggard 
 coachman of mine may be ? ” 
 
 “ Deep to his neck in drifts,” says I, with a 
 laugh. 
 
 “ ’Twould be a pity,” said the Bishop, 
 shaking his head, “an ill bed upon a bitter 
 night. But let us hope,” he added cheerfully, 
 “ that the rascal is kicking his heels by a 
 comfortable fire.” 
 
 “And drinking some such noble liquor as 
 his master,” I put in. 
 
 The Bishop laughed, showing his fine white 
 teeth. He laughed, and drank again. “And 
 yet,” said he, moralising, “rightly thought on, 
 Ryder, these afflictions and visitations of the 
 weather have still their divine uses.” I cocked 
 my eye at him, in wonder, to see him break 
 out in this preaching fashion. “They teach 
 
 24 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 us, Ryder, to cast up the blessings of our 
 homes, and they are uncommon fine in titillat- 
 ing an appetite,” he ended, with a chuckle. 
 
 “And a thirst, by your lordship’s leave,” I 
 added, addressing myself to the wine. 
 
 The Bishop’s eyes followed the dusty flask, 
 and lingered upon it with thoughtfulness. 
 “We will have another,” said I, promptly, 
 rising to my feet. 
 
 “ Another ? ” said the Bishop dubiously. 
 
 “Why, yes, another,” I repeated, with 
 decision, “ I am no sand-bed, but I am no 
 stop-the-bottle, neither.” 
 
 “Well, then, another,” assented the Bishop, 
 with a sigh. 
 
 When I took my seat again, the Bishop was 
 contemplatimg me with some curiosity. “You 
 have a wife, Ryder ? ” he asked. 
 
 “I have as good,” I answered, “and as pretty 
 a doxy as lives this side of London. Here’s to 
 her health,” says I. 
 
 The Bishop took out his snuff-box, and, 
 tapping it very carefully, “I do not know,” 
 said he, “ if there be any sufficient authority 
 
 25 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 for the relation in canon law, but ’twill serve, 
 doubtless, for my argument.” 
 
 “And for our toast, my lord,” said I stoutly. 
 The Bishop looked at me, his eyes twinkled 
 suddenly, and he lifted his glass. “ And for 
 our toast, as you have well observed, Ryder,” 
 he agreed. 
 
 In the pursuit of my business I have had 
 occasion to mingle in a variety of company. I 
 have dined with the Lord Chief Justice — not 
 with his will, to be sure ; I have encountered 
 a Royal Prince ; and I have entertained several 
 noble ladies and gentlemen of title upon com- 
 pulsion. Altogether I have a tolerable acquaint- 
 ance among the quality. But the Bishop was 
 more to my taste than the most amiable among 
 them ; and when he spoke of Polly Scarlett in 
 such kindly terms, the friendliness went straight 
 to my heart, and I reached over my hand and 
 stuck it at him. 
 
 “ My lord,” says I, “ you take me by the 
 heart, and, ’fore Heaven, if you had a score of 
 purses you should go free of the confraternity. 
 As one gentleman of the road should speak to 
 
 26 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 another, so do I speak to you. And now, if 
 there be any toast your lordship may be nursing 
 in his desires, do not smother it up,” said I, 
 “but unwrap it and show it forth, and I will 
 drink it, though it should be to the topsman 
 himself.” 
 
 “I am under infinite obligations for the 
 favour, Ryder,” said the Bishop, bowing at me, 
 “but I fear I have no one for this honour.” 
 “Come,” I protested, “roll ’em all in your 
 mind, my lord, and turn ’em over on your 
 tongue. I’ll warrant there’s a pretty woman 
 somewhere at the back.” 
 
 The Bishop seemed to consider, and shook 
 his head gravely. “It appears, Ryder,” said 
 he, “that you are too sanguine. We will leave 
 the tribute where it stands.” 
 
 “Then,” I exclaimed, “sure, we will drink 
 without it.” And I pushed over the flask. 
 
 The Bishop daintily filled his glass with his 
 fat fingers, and we drank once more. His 
 stomach merged over the table : it ranged 
 collateral with the wine, and tickled me with 
 the notion of some great vat beside the empty 
 
 27 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 bottles. I shook with laughter, and the Bishop 
 smiled genially. “Speaking as one gentleman 
 of the road would to another, Ryder,” says he, 
 u I declare I have never kept such disreputable 
 company in my life.” 
 
 I have confessed the wine was rich and 
 cordial : it flowed warmly through my veins, 
 and set my head high and whirling like a 
 weather-cock. And at this j est I fell to 
 laughing louder, for the thrust appeared to me 
 a piece of pretty wit. I smacked my thigh, 
 and bellowed till the rheum ran over my eyes, 
 and at last I pulled up and found the Bishop 
 very quiet and fallen into a kind of abstraction. 
 In my merry mood I took this ill ; for a gentle- 
 man must needs complete a bargain to the 
 end, and I hate your sour looks and solemn 
 faces. 
 
 “Look’ee, my lord,” I cried, with some 
 choler, “ if ’tis my Lord Petersham that you are 
 regretting, why have it out, and let us finish 
 your thoughts aloud.” 
 
 The Bishop lifted his eyebrows with a faint 
 expression of amusement. “I vow, Ryder,” 
 
 28 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 said he, “that I had clean forgot my Lord 
 Petersham.” 
 
 “That is well,” I returned, dropping back 
 into my chair. 
 
 “ But,” he continued, thoughtfully, “ in truth, 
 now that you recall me to my duty, I must 
 remember also that pleasure has an end.” 
 
 He rose, and I rose with him. “ My lord,” 
 I said, for I was all for a long night, “ it would 
 ill become me to press you from your duty, but 
 if you will consider the night ” 
 
 “ Ah, Ryder,” he interrupted, smiling 
 graciously, “pray do not beset a poor sinner 
 with temptations.” He stood before the fire, 
 warming his legs. “This has been a pleasant 
 encounter,” says he, “ and now I will keep you 
 to your promise.” 
 
 As he put it in that way, I had no more 
 words against his purpose, and, having settled 
 the score, we set forth again upon the horses, 
 myself this time upon Calypso. The night was 
 still very bitter, but I, at least, was warm with 
 wine, and I think the Bishop, too, was full 
 enough for comfort. Yet the cold edge of 
 
 29 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 the wind somewhat reduced my fervour, and 
 where I was rolling three-parts-free in liquor 
 ten minutes back, I was now mainly sobered 
 and continent of all my senses. I knew the 
 land by rote, and we proceeded easily by lanes 
 and windings, through a grievous slush of snow, 
 until, at the end of half an hour, we came out 
 on the ridge of the hill (I knew it of old) which 
 lies in the rear of my Lord Petersham’s castle. 
 
 At the cross-roads the Bishop reined in his 
 horse, and turned to me. “I think, Ryder,” 
 said he, but courteously, “that we shall be well 
 quit of each other here. I make a dull com- 
 panion for youth, and you have, doubtless, a 
 long ride before you.” 
 
 “Dull,” says, I “be damned! I’ll wager 
 upon you before all the bucks of town.” 
 
 The Bishop smiled. “So rich a testimony 
 from yourself, Ryder,” he observed, “should go 
 far to keep me in repute.” 
 
 “You may have it and welcome, my lord,” I 
 answered. “And here,” I added, as a noise 
 of wheels came up the hill, “ no doubt you will 
 find some friepd§ with whom I may leave you.” 
 
 3 ° 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 I could hear the horses snorting and the 
 heavy carriage creaking, as it strained slowly to 
 the top. 
 
 “ Ryder,” said the Bishop, after a pause, and 
 looking at me quizzically, “ I am like to eat 
 worse dinners than to-night’s, and to meet much 
 poorer entertainment.” 
 
 At that moment the heads of the horses 
 came popping over the rise. “ Why, as for 
 entertainment,” says I jovially, for the Devil, 
 somehow, took me all in a second, u ’tis not all 
 at an end, neither, I can promise you.” For 
 the fancy caught me up of a sudden, and rapt 
 me off in the maddest of whimsies ; and as 
 the carriage rolled out into the moonlight I 
 beckoned the Bishop forward and rode up in his 
 company. I was not two minutes over the 
 business. There was the postilion imploring 
 mercy on his knees, the woman shrieking, the 
 gentleman himself swearing a stream of oaths, 
 and my pistol through the window — the whole 
 rare picture in a flash ! 
 
 “Why, what is this?” stammered the Bishop 
 
 in amazement. “What — why- ” And his 
 
 3i 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 horse, backing and plunging under his clumsy 
 handling, saved me the rest of his protest. 
 But, seizing the bridle in my left hand, I forth- 
 with brought his nose up to the window. 
 
 “Sir,” said I, politely, to the man in the 
 coach, “ the frost holds hard, and the snow lies 
 heavy, and my friend and I, lacking purses of 
 our own, must needs borrow of our neighbours 
 to carry us to that excellent host, my Lord 
 Petersham’s. And as on this great occasion of 
 the Lady Mary’s marriage, we should think 
 shame to do things with a niggard hand, why, 
 we are fain to dip deep into your pockets. I 
 am sure,” says I, with a glance at the lady, 
 “that this lamentable condition of my friend 
 in particular, for I am of younger and more 
 vigorous blood, will merit the tender considera- 
 tion of the sex.” 
 
 I could have fallen off the mare for laughter, 
 and for the first time in the adventures of that 
 night I caught a look of consternation stamped 
 upon the Bishop’s face. But as for the couple 
 in the coach, they made no more ado after their 
 first emotion. I have the repute of a manner, 
 
 32 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 which, though it becomes me little to brag of 
 it, carries me forward in my business without 
 much trouble. The purses were flung out 
 (one, as I live, at the Bishop), the window was 
 closed, and the horses were slapping down the 
 hill, ere the Bishop’s face had lost its frown or 
 his tongue found words. I turned and met him 
 squarely, but I was in a sweat to keep from 
 laughing. He bit his lip, and at the sight of 
 his discomfiture, I could contain myself no 
 longer, but broke into merriment. He was 
 most horribly taken aback, I vow. But “ This 
 is unseemly, Ryder,” was all he said ; repeating 
 it sharply then and there, “This is unseemly.” 
 
 I gave him some foolish retort, for I was 
 cackling like a hen, and, steering his horse 
 round quickly, he started down the hill at a 
 leisurely pace. But he had not gone very far 
 ere I was on him, and catching at the reins of 
 his horse, I gave him the barrel at his eye. 
 
 “Nay, nay, my lord,” says I, u ’tis dis- 
 courteous to take such brief leave of a friend 
 and companion. You shall have your share, 
 honourably enough. Dismiss your dudgeon. 
 
 33 
 
 c 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 Meanness was never cried of Galloping Dick. 
 We shall take part together. Come, you and 
 I are engaged for a fine evening’s pleasuring.” 
 And with that I let him snatch a glimmer of 
 the pistol. He stared at me reflectively for a 
 space, with a frown upon his forehead, and then 
 shrugged his shoulders after a foreign fashion of 
 his. “It seems,” said he, “that, having made 
 free with the Devil, I must e’en abide his 
 company.” 
 
 “That is so,” I retorted on him, grinning, 
 “ and ’tis not the first time the Church has 
 made friends with him.” 
 
 “ ’Tis a lesson,” said the Bishop, continuing 
 his thoughts, “ one might protest, against 
 bodily indulgence.” 
 
 “ Fie ! fie ! ” says I, “ a wit turned preacher?” 
 “I will have you observe, Ryder,” says he, 
 with asperity, “ that I am still your guest.” 
 His ease had not deserted the man, even in 
 his anger, and I would have made him a decent 
 apology for the sneer, had not the rumble of 
 approaching wheels distracted my attention. 
 
 “It appears,” said the Bishop calmly, “that 
 
 34 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 the post is well chosen, and you are like to 
 capture all his lordship’s guests.” 
 
 “We, my lord, we!” I cried, laughing. 
 u Of myself, I make no pretensions to courage, 
 but, bucklered with a fine fat fellow like your- 
 self, I am fit to hold the road against a regiment 
 of his Majesty.” 
 
 I declare that I had no anticipation of the 
 event at the outset. The act was merely 
 incidental ; but when I smote the Bishop’s 
 horse upon the rump, he put up his forelegs 
 and plunged out upon the road, fetching his 
 head, with a crash, through the window of the 
 carriage as it pulled up. Confusion fell in a 
 moment, and a frightened face shrank into the 
 interior of the coach. The Bishop himself, for 
 he was an indifferent horseman, being heavy 
 above the saddle, was flung in a lump across the 
 mane, and sat looking in at the window with a 
 very red and angry face. He was a formidable 
 fellow, with great thick eyebrows, and I swear 
 it was as much the contortion of his ugly 
 features as my own appearance with the pistol 
 that finished the business on the spot. And he 
 
 35 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 was scarce back in the seat ere the carriage was 
 bowling away down the road. Then it was, 
 perhaps, that I had most occasion to admire the 
 man, for, righting himself with some labour, 
 and settling his hat anew, he blew like a 
 porpoise for some minutes. At the end he 
 drew out his box with great difficulty, and, 
 turning to me, tapped it after his habit ; and, 
 says he, snuffing : “ That was the Lady Craw- 
 shaw,” says he. “ ’Twas the last week but one 
 I dined with her.” 
 
 “ I trust,” said I, “ that she served your lord- 
 ship well ? ” 
 
 “Indifferent, Ryder,” he declared, “in- 
 different only. She has a shrewish tongue, 
 and can keep no cook of parts. Indifferent ; 
 and the wine, too, after a woman’s heart.” 
 Then, “You will observe, Ryder,” he said, 
 presently, “ that I am an old man, and, however 
 exciting the adventure, that the wind bites 
 hard.” 
 
 “My lord,” I replied, bowing, for I was still 
 under the spell of his demeanour, “I can ill 
 afford to lose so useful a comrade, and there is 
 
 36 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 the hedge for shelter against our next enter- 
 prise.” 
 
 Perhaps it was scarce what he had expected, 
 but he made no reply. 
 
 I was already in excellent temper, for the 
 humour of the affair fairly set my head buzzing ; 
 and on the next episode of the night I was 
 flushed with my own roaring spirits, as though 
 I had been still drunken in the inn. And no 
 sooner was the sound of horses’ hoofs come 
 up the hill but I caught the Bishop by the 
 arm and, horse by horse, we took the road. 
 “Here, comrade,” said I, “faith, we have, as 
 it seems, a fuller job to our hands.” For at 
 the moment two horsemen cantered into the 
 cross-ways. “Two merry young bloods from 
 London town,” says I, “who, I dare swear, have 
 some spunk in the pair of them. But forward, 
 forward, my bold cavalier ! And we’ll lay the 
 gallants by the heels ere they so much as darkle 
 at us.” And clapping a pistol in the Bishop’s 
 hand, I pricked up Calypso and rode forward to 
 meet them. 
 
 I swept upon the two like a whirlwind, the 
 
 37 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 Bishop by my side clinging to his pommel, his 
 apron flapping indecorously in the wind ; and 
 ere they had sense of our business we were 
 side by side with them under the light of the 
 moon. At the first sight of my firearm the 
 young buck upon the hither side drew up his 
 reins with dispatch, and his beast came down 
 upon its haunches, while the other opened his 
 mouth and gaped vacantly at me. 
 
 u Hold, my pretty cullies,” says I smoothly, 
 “for my lord and I have a little catechism for 
 your ears.” 
 
 I tell the tale to my own discredit, but I was 
 nigh mad with excitement and the humours of 
 the evening had drove all my wits afloat. But 
 the truth is that I saw the fellow fumbling at 
 his holster, and my own pistol was at t’ other’s 
 head; and so, with never a thought, I called 
 merrily to the Bishop to stop him. “ Show 
 your mettle,” says I, laughing. “ Show your 
 mettle, my lord.” 
 
 “Why in sooth, with all my heart,” says 
 the Bishop smartly. And with that, all of a 
 sudden — damn me ! — there was a cold nose at 
 
 38 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 my temple, and the Bishop’s face, looking 
 devilishly wicked, smirking into mine ! 
 
 The thing took me sharply aback, and there 
 was I, staring like a fool, and, for once in my 
 life, with never a word to say for myself. 
 But not so the Bishop. “ ’Tis a pretty sort of 
 triangular duel,” says he pleasantly, “ in which 
 it seems I have the least to lose. But I trust 
 it may be averted with a little discretion and 
 humility. Drop your weapon,” says he sharply. 
 
 He had me as safe as a fowl trussed for 
 the table, and I could do nothing but follow 
 his order. Thereupon the two cravens, coming 
 to themselves, and eager to be quit with sound 
 skins and full purses, whipped round their 
 horses and made off; and the Bishop and I 
 were left together in the road. My lord re- 
 garded me maliciously, and at last, breaking into 
 a something foolish laugh, I found my tongue. 
 “ Why, one gentleman of the road to rob 
 another! ” says I. u ’Tis monstrous, my lord.” 
 “You will have a better knowledge of the 
 etiquette than myself, who am but a novice, 
 Ryder,” says he, mightily pleased with himself 
 
 39 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 44 For a guest to rum-pad his host ! ” I urged. 
 44 ’Tis beyond all manners.” 
 
 44 Faith, I am so new to the trade that you 
 must pardon me if I am blind to these delicate 
 distinctions,” says the Bishop, chuckling. 
 
 44 Come,” I remonstrated, 44 this jest is after 
 all in ill season. Put down that pistol.” 
 
 44 The thought came into my head of a 
 sudden,” mused the Bishop. 44 Indeed, it was 
 of your own inspiration.” 
 
 44 An’ you do not,” I cried angrily ; 44 the 
 Devil take me but I will shortly blast your 
 ugly head from off your shoulders.” 
 
 44 And ’twas well I took lessons from so 
 excellent a master as yourself,” returned 
 the Bishop unperturbed. 44 It had been di- 
 sastrous to have mistook the barrel.” 
 
 44 Well,” says I sulkily, 44 if you will act 
 with this gross dishonour, pray, what terms 
 are you pleased to make ? ” 
 
 44 Why, here is reason,” says the Bishop 
 smiling, 44 and a very proper spirit of contrition. 
 And, for the night does not mend and my 
 bones are old, I will not keep you longer. 
 
 40 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 First, and to secure the good name of the 
 Church which stands committed in myself, 
 you shall return me all those purses.” 
 
 “ Half had been your share without this 
 foolish piece of comedy,” says I surlily. 
 
 “Which,” he went on, still smiling, “I will 
 endeavour to restore to their several owners. 
 
 Secondly, you will retire to the foot of 
 the crossways, and I myself will watch you 
 gallop out of sight within three minutes of 
 the clock. Thirdly — ,” quoth he. 
 
 “Thirdly,” says I, with a laugh. “Why 
 here is all the fashion of a sermon ! ” 
 
 “And this,” he observed, “is a point to 
 which I will entreat your best attention — you 
 will rescind my invitation to the Palace, which, 
 you will recall, was bespoke in general, not 
 in particular. And, for corollary to this same 
 item, Ryder,” says he, with a whimsical look, 
 “should we meet, as by some strange chance 
 of Heaven we may, I exact that you shall 
 not hail me for a boon fellow before the 
 world.” 
 
 “ Offered,” said I suddenly, “ like a worthy 
 
 41 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 Bishop, and accepted like a good highwayman. 
 And here’s my hand on it,” says I. 
 
 And at that, flinging off Calypso, I sprang up 
 at him and clutched the wrist that held the pistol. 
 
 The Bishop was fat and old and awkward, 
 but for all that he was no child at pap, and 
 he made a gallant wrench or two for liberty. 
 He struggled with my hands, heaving his 
 poor old shoulders up and down with stiff 
 ungainly motions till I fell to laughing again, 
 and had well-nigh desisted for laughter. But 
 then, all of a sudden, there came a sharp 
 little crack, a hard smack fell on my leg, and 
 the flesh of it pinched and burned and tingled 
 as if it had been scratched by the Devil. I 
 hopped and danced upon the snow, and swore 
 out my soul ; and then, j erking out my sword, 
 I limped forward, and, seizing the Bishop’s 
 bridle, put the point swiftly to his breast. 
 He never blenched, but looked critically and 
 with interest at my leg. 
 
 “ That,” says he mournfully, “ is but my 
 second shot, and the pity of it is that both hit 
 of accident.” 
 
 42 
 
Of the Bishop’s Quandary 
 
 I could not have helped it ; his face and 
 the words set me off once more ; and dropping 
 my blade I put my knuckles in my hips and 
 shouted with laughter. 
 
 The Bishop waited, and when at length I 
 came to a pause he looked at me with 
 interrogation. “I suppose,” says he, “ that 1 
 shall not now have even my own half of the 
 booty ? ” 
 
 “Take it,” I shouted, bursting out afresh, 
 “ take it all, and go in God’s name, or whoever 
 be your master. I would not rid the establish- 
 ment of such a pillar — no, not for salvation 
 from the Pit.” 
 
 And, flinging the bags at his apron, I 
 mounted Calypso and rode off, laughing still 
 
 43 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall, with an 
 account of what fell in Bristol Castle. 
 
Chapter II 
 
 Of the Man from Cornwall, with an 
 account of what fell in Bristol Castle. 
 
 Now, my encounter with Sir Ralph Leybourne, 
 which was the original of certain curious 
 sequels, fell in this wise. I had danced a 
 pretty lively sort of jig across country, and 
 was now posting for the West, several shires, 
 indeed, being at that time too warm for my 
 toes. It was then my usage, as it has ever 
 been, upon such alarms to settle in a private 
 retirement, and hear the wind blow over my 
 head ; whether ’twas with Polly Scarlett in 
 the Ratcliff Highway, or may be in a snug 
 corner with some other Mrs Bitchington. But 
 of all these give me Polly for my taste. And 
 now that the traps were out in town, and I 
 was pictured thick in many a Hue and Cry , I 
 was, for the nonce, in pursuance of this policy, 
 
 47 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 for a cheerful seclusion in the distance. So it 
 happened that at eight of the clock on that 
 fifth of June I set out from Sutton Valence, 
 astride upon Calypso, and by midday drew up 
 at a little village, a league or so t’other side of 
 Bath. Here was a tolerable ale-house with a 
 large bare room ; and me and a red-haired 
 stranger to fill it of ourselves. 
 
 If there be one character next to the habit of 
 a prompt arm that best serves our profession, 
 ’tis surely the property of a sharp observation, 
 and so it was upon my companion that my eyes 
 fell now with particular attention. He was a 
 huge, lean-faced man, with tall, rough bones to 
 his cheeks, and a pair of hard, cross-cut eyes — 
 ugly to look on, but something superior in air, 
 and of a certain interest to denote. Nor was his 
 aspect pleasanter than his face, for he wore a 
 nasty scowling look, and had the appearance of a 
 fellow that would leap down your mouth ere you 
 opened it. Now this was the man for my money. 
 He challenged me, and for the love of God I 
 could not put a name upon his business ; which, 
 as you may suppose, set me off in a twinkling. 
 
 48 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 I laid down my knife, took a draught of 
 wine, and “ Sir,” says I, observing him in a 
 friendly way, “for a townsman, as I should 
 interpret you, you show a lively appetite.” 
 For there was he filling his belly with the 
 meats in a greedy, hasty fashion, and never so 
 much as a glance at me, or a civil by-your-leave. 
 
 At that he turned sharply, stared at me for 
 an instant with a scowl, and then seeming very 
 lumpish, “No better than your own,” says he 
 in a surly voice. 
 
 “Why, for myself,” says I pleasantly, “I 
 make no boast of an old maid’s appetite. I 
 can use a knife and platter with my fellows. 
 But there is appetite,” said I with emphasis, 
 “and there is a ranting, roaring belly; and the 
 one I should think shame of, save under sore 
 needs.” 
 
 “ You are scarce civil,” says he, with a sour 
 face on him, and shortly, as one who would be 
 at no trouble to pick up a quarrel or pass a pat 
 rejoinder. But I was in no humour to be thus 
 put down. 
 
 “Why, then,” said I, “to be civil is to sit 
 
 49 
 
 D 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 stark before your meats, gulping like a hog, 
 and for two gentlemen to lower across the 
 table upon one another. If that be civility,” 
 says I, u damn your civility,” I says. 
 
 The fellow went on with his meal without 
 even the compliment of a word, at which I was 
 somewhat nettled; but seeing I was embarked 
 upon the sally, Dick Ryder was not the man to 
 cry quits with an ugly-visaged, cross-grained, 
 country-bred oaf. And it struck me, too, at 
 the moment that the cully might be one of 
 my own calling, and in much the same plight 
 as myself ; for ’tis notorious that some of our 
 trade are surly rascals enough, with no more 
 manners than a jackal. 
 
 “If it be,” I resumed tartly, “that a pair of 
 good eyes and a leash of sound legs and arms 
 would be the better wanting in your company, 
 then I take you,” says I, “and, faith, I am in 
 the heart to tolerate your reputable dudgeon. 
 But I would have you to learn, my friend, that 
 suspicion breeds suspicion, and that he is a 
 fool who would not dare to carry off his case 
 with a firm, high hand.” 
 
 50 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 “ What do you mean ? ” he asks, in a startled 
 voice. 
 
 U I am no head at a guess,” says I, sticking 
 my finger at the thick, red soils upon his boots, 
 U but I swear I can pin a point upon honest 
 CVuantock mud.” 
 
 I vow I never saw a man’s face flame to such 
 a sudden passion. His colour blew as strong 
 as his hair, and he dapped his hand to his 
 sword, muttering very angrily and with a 
 suggestion of terror. 
 
 I laughed, and poured out a glass from the 
 bottle. “ Mark me,” said I, with good humour, 
 u ’twas of honest Chiantock loam I spoke. And 
 ’tween you and me I’ll warrant we are ac- 
 quainted with the discrimination.” 
 
 “I am come,” says he sulkily, “from Wor- 
 cester.” 
 
 u And sure,” says I, smiling, u that will serve 
 very well to explain a monstrous appetite ; and 
 the rather that the road is poor, and the tops- 
 man hath a heavy hand.” 
 
 Now he looked at me, as I saw, in some 
 perplexity, and with an ingenuous frown of 
 
 5 * 
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 wonder ; and with that I knew that I was taken 
 
 % 
 
 up with a wrong notion, and I drew up mighty 
 sudden, as you may fancy. Presently his eyes 
 fell, and with an indifferent lift of his shoulders 
 he resumed his guttling. It tickled me so to 
 see his unhandsome gestures and his lumpish 
 manner at table that, though I was ruffled by 
 my rebuff and was casting about for some new 
 gate, I could not refrain from laughter. I 
 dropped my glass and chuckled forthright. At 
 which he started again. 
 
 “What the Devil says he savagely. 
 
 “ Gad’s my life, may a gentleman not pass his 
 meal in peace, but you must bawl him out of 
 comfort ? ” 
 
 “Rot me,” says I, opening my eyes, and 
 with some choler. “Here’s a pretty piece of 
 insolence. And may a gentleman not hug a jest 
 with himself, but must go forth, forsooth, and 
 split himself among the dogs ? Stab me,” says I, 
 “my young gentleman, you will neither be merry 
 with me, nor suffer me to be merry alone.” 
 
 He stared at me, as though about to retort 
 upon me, but apparently thinking better of his 
 
 52 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 course. “ I beg your pardon,” said he, but too 
 bluntly for courtesy. “ I was mistook.” 
 
 “Why, come now,” says I amiably, u you 
 make amends like a man of honour, and I will 
 do myself the favour of asking you to a glass 
 with me.” 
 
 An expression of annoyance beset his 
 features, but he durst not well decline me, 
 and, indeed, I was in no spirit for refusal. I 
 shifted up my chair within reach, and we 
 jingled our glasses. 
 
 “A pint of warm wine,” said I genially, “is 
 the finest specific for an empty stomach these 
 mild days.” 
 
 • Considering that he was then three-parts 
 through a capon, with pasties to boot, here was 
 a pretty point enough, but he took no notice of 
 the sally. 
 
 “True,” he answered, briefly. And finding 
 him thus so much disposed to conversation I 
 pushed back my chair, and, lolling in it, 
 surveyed him with a friendly care. I was now 
 less than ever at the knowledge of his calling, 
 but I was to make a smart push for it. 
 
 53 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 “Goods,” says I, smiling broadly, and with 
 an air of intelligence, “are sunk most dismal 
 low this season.” 
 
 “ Ah ! ” says he, vacantly. 
 
 “Why,” I went on, seeing he kept his 
 tongue, “ there was a dozen pieces of holland 
 sold in London last week, and that of the finest, 
 at no more than four shillings the ell.” 
 
 “Ah!” says he again, and adds, “Indeed!” 
 indifferently. 
 
 “You may well say that,” says I, “but ’tis a 
 fact of my own knowledge. Broadcloth, silk 
 drugget, and brocades — ’sbud, I know not 
 which lies in the worse case in the markets. 
 Now, in your own experience,” says I, “ what 
 
 price have you put upon ” 
 
 “Why, man,” says he, interrupting me 
 sharply, “ what the Devil ! Do you take me 
 
 for a ” and there he stopped mighty quick. 
 
 “O well,” says he in another voice, “yes, yes, 
 I find ’em one as bad as another,” he says. 
 
 “And black Colchester bays? ” says I. 
 
 “Ah, yes, yes, that too,” says he, nodding: 
 “Colchester bays, too.” 
 
 54 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 I could scarce hold from laughing at the droll 
 creature, as he sat waggling his head sagely 
 upon terms he had never so much as heard, and 
 casting restless shots out of his cross-eyes upon 
 me. But I sat grave enough, and looking to 
 him of a sudden. 
 
 “But you,” says I, in a tone of inquiry, 
 “ will be no snip, I’ll dare swear ? ” 
 
 “Damme, no!” says he, flushing in a 
 moment, and then adds hurriedly, “Well, no — 
 not a snip — no, not quite, that is,” and fell to 
 frowning uncomfortably. 
 
 “No,” said I cheerfully, “I took your 
 measure when I first set eyes on you. But 
 your sword — ’twas that put me oiF in the start. 
 But now,” I says, laughing, “ I understand how 
 you come by that.” 
 
 “Oh, yes, now, of course,” he replied, echo- 
 ing me a bewildered laugh of his own. 
 
 “ Does it pay you well ? ” I asked. 
 
 “Pay?” he said, stupidly. “O well,” says 
 he, “ tolerably, tolerably.” 
 
 “I’ve had half a mind to it myself,” said I, 
 meditatively. “In these hard times a man may 
 
 55 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 do very much worse.” He nodded. “And 
 with good honest fare,” says I, “and the price 
 of a flask now and then.” He nodded again, 
 frowning more than ever. “ And on a particular 
 private service, a guinea from one’s master.” 
 He drew up his red head, staring at me 
 haughtily. “ Specially,” I went on, “ for a secret 
 service to carry letters ” 
 
 To say the truth I had wellnigh forgot the 
 premier business of my adventure; so tickled 
 was I to put this egregious fellow upon prickles. 
 But at my last words, and ere the full sentence 
 was off my lips, he turned of a sudden deathly 
 pale, stuck his hand again to his sword, and 
 took a fit of shivers. 
 
 “ Damnation ! ” he cried, all in a blaze of 
 fury. 
 
 He squinted abominably as his eyes racked 
 me, and one hand crept in a tremor to the cuff* 
 of his jacket. Now, I am a man of speedy 
 wits, as indeed ’tis needful in my trade, and in a 
 flash I was aware that I had come upon some 
 more desperate affair than I had imagined. 
 Moreover, the real meaning of his appearance 
 
 56 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 there, I know not how, ran suddenly in my 
 head. But I was my own master, in despite of 
 this ; and though, for sure, I felt like whistling, 
 instead, keeping a very demure face, and 
 answering his look with mere surprise, I said : 
 “ What is it?” said I. “You ha’nt been 
 robbed ? ” 
 
 He glared at me speechless half-risen in his 
 seat, and occupied in gulping his emotion. 
 
 “Faith!” I said, with a grin, “an’ you 
 present the lady with the letter in a face like 
 that, I’ll warrant you, she shall have a fit, and 
 you a beating from your master.” 
 
 He gave vent to a snort of relief, as it 
 seemed, and fell back in his chair, pretty limp. 
 “Ha’ some more wine,” says I, cheerfully. He 
 gulped down a draught, and the colour ran into 
 his cheieks again. He even looked at me with 
 a sickly grin. 
 
 “I feared,” said he, “I had forgot the billet- 
 doux." 
 
 “ Ha, ha ! ” says I in a manner of raillery, 
 “ sink me ! but you’re a fine rascal for a love- 
 sick gentleman. And I’ll swear, too, ’tis no less 
 
 57 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 than an assignation.” He nodded, with a miser- 
 able kind of wink, and bobbed his nose into the 
 wine, seeming very much pleased with himself. 
 But now I was gotten very big with the notion 
 I had in my head and looked to put it to the 
 test. Indeed, I miscalled myself a fool in that 
 the idea had not taken me earlier, with all those 
 stirring rumours from the South, where that 
 silly cully of a Monmouth, was setting the 
 country-side by the ears. The splashes upon 
 my neighbour’s feet and legs lay as thick as a 
 Devon brogue might ha’ laid on his tongue, and 
 I could almost swear to every mile since he had 
 ridden forth of Tiverton. And with that the 
 shape of my new behaviour came to me boldly. 
 
 u Look’ee,” says I, speaking earnestly. 
 “ Across the main length of this table when I 
 first crossed my legs under it, I liked the fancy 
 of you ; and though ’twas in a fashion of snarl- 
 ing you showed your teeth at me, why I mind 
 you none the worse for a fire-eater.” 
 
 “Go on,” said he, regarding me with wonder. 
 “ Come, then,” I went on. You’re too good 
 a lad for this fetching and carrying. Your 
 
 58 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 sword brags too loudly for the business. 
 There’s a cut about your face that derides 
 you at it ; and your hair is not the colour 
 of a lackey’s periwig. If I was you,” says I, 
 “sink me, but I’d set up myself for a gentle- 
 man of fortune.” 
 
 “What would you have me do? Where 
 should I turn for a living ? ” he asked, looking 
 amused. 
 
 “You talk of living,” says I with a wink. 
 “But, mark’ee, young fellow, there’s also dying. 
 And a man may die with his sword in his fist — 
 the faster the better.” 
 
 “Well?” he says, grinning. 
 
 I bent over, and tapping him on the shoulder, 
 said, very mysteriously, “ Come with me,” says I. 
 He lifted his brows, interrogating me. “Oh 
 yes,” says I, “but there’s many a good man is 
 like to follow where I am for.” 
 
 “Where is that?” says he. 
 
 “Why,” says I in a whisper, “to the side of 
 King James III,” says I, “by the grace of God, 
 King of England and Scotland and Lord of 
 Ireland.” 
 
 59 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 I felt him give a sudden start under my hand, 
 but, taking no notice, I winked at him and 
 nodded. 
 
 44 Oh ! ” he cries, looking close at me, and 
 speaking in a lower voice, 44 so you’re for the 
 Prince, are you ? ” 
 
 “Hush!” says I, looking about me. “This 
 ground is not safe.” 
 
 He followed my looks with a little display of 
 timidity, and then returned to the contempla- 
 tion of myself. He inspected me narrowly, 
 and afterwards dropped his eyes, shrugging 
 his shoulders. 
 
 “I am no hand with a sword,” said he. 
 
 I was no longer in any doubts. He was 
 certainly from the seat of the insurrection, and 
 as like as not with important papers. Indeed, 
 his whole bearing was of a man that feared to 
 be taken. But I pressed him a little closer. 
 
 4 - 4 Ah ! ” I cried, feigning to rally him. 44 But I 
 can see you have used a gully upon requirement. 
 Think on it. I’ll vow to further you. An’ his 
 Sacred Majesty had ten such swords as mine he 
 would be in no needs of whistling for more, and 
 
 60 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 James of York were best-a-sporting with his 
 newest doxy.” 
 
 Now, I will acknowledge ’twas my own 
 default, for I had put myself all along upon his 
 own level as a gentleman’s footboy; and he, 
 poor man, must perforce take me at my own 
 reckoning. But when he broke out into his 
 harsh satirical laughter, it made me mad. 
 
 “Oh, his new Majesty is in luck,” says he 
 laughing, “with a sword such as yours at his 
 
 call. And as for James Stuart ” Here he 
 
 fell a-laughing in a loud rasping country fashion 
 that was ill for me to bear. 
 
 My temper is of the quickest, and, whoever 
 he might be, I was not for suffering the 
 insolence of a dung-fork like him. 
 
 “ Faith, then,” said I, starting red, “ since 
 you show such an appreciation of my sword, ’tis 
 at your service.” 
 
 “ Pish, man,” said he, still laughing, “ sit 
 down.” 
 
 But I was fair boiling now, and the thought 
 that he could thus entreat me with such good- 
 humoured indifference out of a belief that I was 
 
 61 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 the poor huckster I had made myself out, made 
 me the more resolute to show my mettle. I 
 rapped my sword out sharply. 
 
 “You are pleased, sir,” said I, fiery-red, “to 
 laugh at me.” 
 
 “Why,” says he, with the first twinkle in 
 his eyes that I had seen, “and may not a 
 gentleman hug a jest to himself, but must 
 rather go forth among the dogs for his 
 laughter ? ” 
 
 I was a little staggered at his ready use of 
 my own rebuke, but I was equal to him in a 
 moment. 
 
 “True/’ I says, “your jest is your own, poor 
 though it be. Laugh an’ you will. But damn 
 me,’’ says I, “ you shall not squint at me.” 
 
 At that he turned scarlet himself, and scowl- 
 ing at me, “You're an impudent rogue,” says 
 he. 
 
 “ Draw,” says I, and made at him. 
 
 He whipped out his iron, and was putting it 
 up with a black expression on his phiz, when 
 all of a sudden a noise of voices and stamping 
 in the passage interfered between us. His 
 
 62 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 weapon dropped, as indeed did mine also. He 
 stared at the door fearfully, and next at me. 
 Nor was I myself very comfortable, for, as you 
 are aware, I was then in particular demand at 
 half-a-dozen Assizes. 
 
 u What is this ? ” he asked, speaking very 
 low. 
 
 u Why,” says I, with a sort of laugh, “it 
 seems someone has come with a billet-doux for 
 one of us.” 
 
 He took a sudden rush at the window, but 
 on that instant the door was flung open and a 
 packet of soldiers broke into the room. My 
 companion turned, sword in hand, and so again 
 did I, not knowing what colour affairs were 
 taking. But of me they took no heed, for it 
 seems that they had full notice of their man, 
 and had indeed been on his heels a matter of 
 two days. And so, while we two stood in 
 great disconcert and irresolution, a young man, 
 somewhere near my own height, and of a very 
 lively cast of face, stepped out of the troop, 
 sword in hand, and confronted the man from 
 Cornwall. 
 
 6 3 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 “Mr Baverstock,” says he, with a bow, and 
 bringing his hat to his knees, “I regret that 
 you must consider yourself my prisoner.” 
 
 The chamber sounded with the clank of 
 spurs, and the doorway filled with dragoons ; 
 but my man was as game as a bantam, or rather 
 as a bubbly-jock, for he was now the colour of 
 his hair all over. 
 
 “Prisoner be damned,” he cried with a sneer, 
 and ran upon the other without more ado. 
 
 But the Captain, for so I understood him, 
 took a step back and made play with his point. 
 He stood as cool as a fencing-master, and was 
 more than the match of my squinting friend, 
 who, for all that he made a smart show, being 
 far gone in passion, soon concluded the affair on 
 his own account. Presently I saw the soldier’s 
 rapier bend and glimmer ; there was a j erk and 
 a twitch, and Master Red-Head’s toasting-fork 
 was flying in the air above my head. In a 
 second the privates moved up, and had their 
 prisoner in hand. The thing fell with such 
 dispatch that I could not but admire the ease of 
 its process, but ’twas as much the spunk of the 
 
 64 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 man Baverstock as the skill and nicety of his 
 opponent that took my fancy ; and “ Bravo ! ” 
 I cried, “ bravo ! ” 
 
 Thereupon the Captain turned, and seeming 
 to observe me for the first time, looked me up 
 and down, and ended with a good-humoured 
 grin in my face. 
 
 “ And who the Devil may you be ? ” says he, 
 smiling. 
 
 a Rot me, Captain,” says I, “as to that, think 
 of me merely as one that lacks the occasion to 
 try swords with you.” 
 
 “As to that,” he replied, observing me closer 
 and with more interest, “ maybe we shall better 
 the chance in good time.” 
 
 “Why, yes,” says I, on an impulse I could 
 not withstand, for the man drew me so. “And 
 here’s to the opportunity.” 
 
 And with that I filled a glass, and pushing it 
 at him lifted my own to my lips. He eyed me 
 askew, in a fascinating way he had, from under 
 his bent brows, and then burst into laughter. 
 
 “And here, my good sir, is to the oppor- 
 tunity,” he said. 
 
 E 
 
 65 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 This took me right in the stomach for 
 fellowship. “ And ’fore gad,” says I a little 
 roughly, “we’ll break a bottle on it.” 
 
 He tossed ofF his wine. “And ’fore gad, 
 sir,” says he gaily, “we will.” 
 
 And thus it was that I became acquainted 
 with Sir Ralph Leybourne. I called for the 
 landlord, and Sir Ralph sat down, but then, 
 seeming to recollect, turned to his prisoner, 
 where he stood gloomily within a ring of the 
 dragoons. 
 
 “Mr Baverstock,” says he, “lam no thief- 
 taker, nor no spy-catcher neither, and if a 
 gentleman of good west-country blood shall 
 choose to set himself up a new sovereign, ’tis 
 nothing against his gentility whatever it be to 
 his oath. But an’ you will give me your word, 
 you shall stay here, and,” here he swept a 
 graceful bow towards me, “ perhaps this gentle- 
 man will suffer me a guest and to order for us 
 all.” 
 
 But Baverstock, if that was his name, merely 
 gave him a savage look. “ I will give no 
 word,” said he. 
 
 66 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 Sir Ralph shrugged his shoulders. “ As you 
 will,” he said in another voice ; and then to his 
 men, “You had better lay in a stock of food 
 for yourselves, and see you hold your prisoner 
 fast,” he says. 
 
 When they were gone he turned to me 
 smiling, and, “It seems,” says he, “that in 
 the hopes of cutting out each other’s hearts 
 we must first grow friends over wine.” 
 
 “ Why not ? ” said I stoutly. “ I love a 
 
 gallant sword, and a passage-at-arms is a sure 
 passage to friendship.” 
 
 “In this case ’tis the bottle,” he objected. 
 “Bottle or blade,” said I, “I will find some 
 way to your heart, Sir Ralph.” 
 
 He inquired of me with his eyes for a 
 moment with a sort of indifferent good-humour. 
 “ Let us drink, at least,” said he, “ I’ll warrant 
 we will both make friends with the wine.” 
 
 I regarded him closely as we drank. He put 
 back his head and swallowed the liquor at a 
 gulp, winked at me, and then, noting some 
 tangle in his lace, slowly combed it out with 
 his long white fingers. He was much taken 
 
 67 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 up with this same lace, stroking out his ruffles 
 and preening himself with a fastidious taste. 
 And then he seemed, at last, to remember me 
 again, and looking at me showed his teeth. 
 
 “ Another glass, eh ? ” he observed. I 
 nodded, and we refilled our glasses. 
 
 But then again, after he had drunken, his 
 attention wandered like the eyes of a light o’ 
 love. He hummed a ribald snatch of song 
 
 without more consideration of my presence 
 than if I had been a boy, and his glance 
 strayed about the room. But presently re- 
 turning to himself and finding me staring at 
 him, says he, in a very winning fashion, 
 “Well,” says he, “do I find grace in your 
 sight, O Lord ? ” 
 
 “Sir Ralph,” said I, “you warm my heart. 
 You’re the man for me if there’s never another 
 in the world. As for women, damn ’em,” I 
 says. 
 
 At this he was pleased to go off into merri- 
 ment, rapping his glass upon the table in 
 applause, and, throwing back his handsome 
 leeks, 
 
 68 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 “Why here is praise,” says this popinjay; 
 “ fie, fie,” and laughs immoderately. And 
 then, “Why where is my manners,” he cries, 
 “to have sat down to wine without a know- 
 ledge of my worthy host ? ” 
 
 “My name, Sir Ralph,” said I, “is Ryder, 
 at your command, and I pursue the life of a 
 gentleman of ease.” 
 
 “And a damned good calling,” he says 
 heartily. “ And I’ll swear you make an 
 excellent living of it.” 
 
 I looked at him with a suspicious eye, for 
 the turn of his words took me aback ; but he 
 regarded me very innocently. And “You are 
 a friend, then,” he asked, “ of my poor Baver- 
 stock, there?” 
 
 “Friend! ” says I, “as much of a friend as to 
 be drawing upon him on your interruption.” 
 
 “Why,” he says laughing, “a very proper 
 sign of friendship — as we agreed.” 
 
 “ I cannot abide sour looks,” I said. 
 
 “Aye,” said he, “he is of a fanatical design; 
 and so, in sooth, are they all. I have never 
 clapped eyes on His Gracious Majesty King 
 
 69 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 James, but I am a good servant of his, and 
 the King is the King, and there’s an end. 
 While, as for his Grace of Monmouth, Mr 
 Ryder, he is a fool who should think one 
 should be born a bastard and begotten a 
 king.” 
 
 “ You speak my own sentiments,” said I. 
 
 He rose now, and sweeping off his hat, 
 with his heels together, “Mr Ryder,” he said 
 mockingly, but with no shadow of offence in 
 his voice, “God or the Devil imposes an end 
 to pleasant company, and we must now part — 
 I to my service and you to your ease.” 
 
 “Until we meet,” I put in, and returning his 
 bow with as much magnificence as himself. 
 
 “Ah!” he replied, “I have an uncommon 
 bad memory. But you must jog it, Ryder, 
 you must jog it.” 
 
 I accompanied him from the inn, and when 
 we were got into the open, there was all his 
 little company scattered under the huge elm 
 before the doorway, and the man Baverstock 
 set somewhat apart in the charge of two 
 dragoons, looking very black and disconsolate. 
 
 70 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 I had some pity for the fellow, for he was by 
 no means white-livered, and drawing near, gave 
 him a friendly sort of glance. He looked back 
 at me startled, and with a sudden light in his 
 eyes, and appeared to consider very deeply. 
 Then, keeping a wary gaze upon his guards, 
 edged off towards me as near as he dared. 
 There was a commotion of chatter under the 
 elm, and this proceeding went unnoticed. But 
 it was something of a surprise to me, who at 
 the moment had no guess of what the fellow 
 wanted. But when he was come close enough, 
 he spoke very hurriedly and in a low voice. 
 
 u Sir,” says he, “are you a true man? and 
 are you, in truth, for Monmouth ? ” 
 
 “To the first, yes,” said I promptly, “and as 
 to the second, why, after that, ’twill need no 
 answer.” 
 
 He made, as though to search me right 
 through with his squint. “I must e’en trust 
 you,” he whispered. “See here, I am taken 
 upon a journey of vast moment. But that’s 
 no matter for myself, if it were not for what 
 I carry. I have about me papers that must 
 
 7i 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 soon be dragged forth and paraded before 
 
 James Stuart’s eyes. You ” He paused 
 
 and looked at me very troubled. 
 
 I put out my hand, for the man’s courage 
 was agreeable. “I will deliver them,” says I, 
 u or burn them.” 
 
 For a moment more he wavered, and next, 
 with a shifty glance behind him, “I must trust 
 you,” he says desperately, and with a nervous 
 action of his fingers began plucking at his 
 long cuffs. But at that instant, and ere more 
 could pass between us, Sir Ralph’s voice broke 
 in like a pistol-shot. 
 
 “The Devil take you, Ryder,” said he 
 angrily, “ stand aback there, or you and I 
 shall have to make of that little affair a matter 
 of business rather than of diversion ; and 
 that mighty soon.” 
 
 Baverstock dropped his hands, aghast, being 
 the next second in the clutch of the soldiers; 
 while as for me, this smart command was 
 hardly to my custom. 
 
 “The sooner the better, Sir Ralph,” said 
 I, as sharp as himself. “And I have yet to 
 
 7 2 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 learn that a gentleman may not have speech 
 of a gentleman, wherever King James or King 
 Monmouth may poke in his nose.” 
 
 “ Indeed,” says he, “ Captain Ryder, as 
 you yourself should know, there are bounds 
 to the liberty of the road.” 
 
 He had given me a title for the first time, 
 and my renewed suspicion of his meaning, 
 together with the malice of his answer, went 
 direct to my marrow, and forthright I drew 
 on him. But he shook his head, laughing 
 again in his old temper. 
 
 “Not now, Captain,” says he, “but later, 
 maybe, you will give me another chance.” 
 
 For all that my blood was hot, I was fain 
 to admit he came off with the better grace ; 
 but he bore such an air with him that I put 
 up my sword without a word, and watched 
 him in a mixture of fury and admiration. 
 The men were mounting in their saddles, and 
 he now joined them. Never had I encountered 
 with a man so much of my own kidney. 
 We were as like in disposition and in quality 
 as two oranges, and upon the High-Toby 
 
 73 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 (to which he was a sore loss) he would have 
 achieved an admirable practice. And yet I 
 was like at that time to have disengaged myself 
 from his life once and for all, had it not been 
 for what followed immediately. The troop, 
 being now in order, with Baverstock in the 
 thick of it, was wheeling off upon the Bristol 
 Road, Sir Ralph at the head, when, shifting 
 in his saddle, he waved his sword to me 
 merrily. 
 
 “To our next meeting, Captain,” he cried, 
 u and prythee, an’ thou lovest me, let it fall 
 soon, and upon a fine night and a good road.” 
 u Damn me,” I shouted, the blood singing 
 of a sudden in my head, u but you shall find 
 no quarrel with date, nor time, nor circum- 
 stances, or hang me for a cutpurse.” 
 
 1 heard the sound of his laughter, as the 
 horses took the corner; and it was there and 
 then I got the resolution. I had no more 
 liking for Baverstock than I should spend 
 upon an attorney ; save that he was a fellow 
 of spirit. But I had acquired a strange fancy 
 for Sir Ralph, and it maddened me that he 
 
 74 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 should have thus put a mock upon me. Well, 
 the enterprise was come upon my hands, and 
 I was now for seeing the end, the more 
 resolutely for his taunt. My wits are quick 
 enough, and I had the true course of my policy 
 ere you could hop out of a saddle. So it 
 was that, after a moment’s reflection, I called 
 for my reckoning, and, climbing Calypso, 
 struck my spurs into her flank and made by 
 the crossroads for Bristol. I reached the town, 
 somewhere, as I guessed, within an hour of 
 Sir Ralph’s company ; but I was not precipitate 
 for the surprise; I must needs leave a while 
 for strategy ; and so, putting my mare to her 
 bed, I made my quarters at a little hostelry 
 within the heart of the town. ’Twas not 
 until the morrow, and near the stroke of six, 
 that I set foot first within the precincts of 
 the Castle. Colonel Biddulph was a bluff man 
 by reputation, with an open affection for the 
 bottle; but, whether or no he was in wine I 
 know not. I confess he met me very roughly 
 indeed. Upon hearing my business, though 
 he was obviously well pleased with my informa- 
 
 75 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 tion, he used me with such contumely that I 
 was hard put to it to keep from his cravat. 
 He cross-questioned me sharply, and when I 
 stuck to my story, turning on his heels without 
 further words, called one of his servants to 
 bring Sir Ralph Leybourne. I smiled to 
 myself to imagine his astonishment upon seeing 
 me there in the Governor’s room and about this 
 business, but indeed upon his entrance he 
 disordered me with his first shot. 
 
 “ Hullo!” cries he, quite gaily. “What, 
 my pet knight-errant in this respectable com- 
 pany ! Captain Ryder,” says he, shaking his 
 finger at me, a ha’ you come for the bottle 
 I owe you, that you figure thus boldly in the 
 precincts of justice?” 
 
 “What, do you know this fellow?” says 
 the Governor in an amaze. 
 
 Sir Ralph peers at me roguishly. “Well, 
 sir, ” said he, “ if my eyes be still in my head, 
 it should be a truculent gentleman whom I met 
 yester morning at the Three Thorns out of 
 Eckhurst.” 
 
 “Ah,” says the Governor. “Well you shall 
 
 76 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 deal with him, as you know him. He is a 
 rogue who is to do us the service of finding 
 the dispatches upon Baverstock for a considera- 
 tion. See him brought to the prisoner, and 
 watch him carefully. ” 
 
 At this, Sir Ralph seemed a good deal 
 staggered, and a very different change came 
 across his features. 
 
 “ Hum ! ” said he, “ ’tis a dirty business, 
 for which I have no stomach.” 
 
 The Governor motioned me to follow, which 
 I did in silence, for though I was much mortified 
 I held my temper pretty tight, being resolved to 
 settle the account later, and to my own satisfac- 
 tion. But Sir Ralph was of too cheerful and 
 lively a nature to be long silent, and as we 
 proceeded to the cells he could not refrain his 
 tongue. It was: “Hark’ee, Ryder, and I take 
 leave to say you’re a damned canting rascal,” 
 and then in a high-pitched arrogant voice : 
 “And keep a good yard to the fore, Ryder, 
 lest I nose you for a stinkard ; ” with many 
 other little jibes of the like colour. But all 
 the time I kept my teeth together, and without 
 
 77 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 ever a sign on my part we came at last to the 
 dungeon in which Baverstock was cast. Fling- 
 ing open the door, Sir Ralph bade me enter, 
 and there I stood in the presence of the man I 
 was to betray. He seemed surprised to see me, 
 as he very well might be, but there was no 
 time for looks, for Sir Ralph curtly ordered me 
 to my job. 
 
 “ Here’s a friend of yours, Mr Baverstock,” 
 says he, “who has taken a sudden fancy for 
 King James, and is come to show it on your own 
 person. I am very sorry for you,” says he. 
 
 Baverstock regarded me at the first with 
 wonder, and with growing suspicion, and then 
 with a horrible glare of hate. He uttered 
 an abominable oath, and turned to Sir Ralph, 
 who stood looking out of the window. 
 
 “Sir Ralph,” he says, “you are at least a 
 gentleman like myself. Is this the orders that 
 I shall be subject to the familiar insults of a 
 villainous footboy ? ” 
 
 “ On the contrary,” said Sir Ralph drily, “ I 
 believe him to be a very accomplished highway- 
 man.” 
 
 78 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 “Sir Ralph,” says I sharply, for I would put 
 up with this no longer, “an’ this business is to 
 be done, it must be done in your presence. I 
 shall be obliged, therefore, for your face.” 
 
 He whipped round quickly and shot an angry 
 glance at me. 
 
 “Nay, my good scoundrel,” he said. “’Tis 
 not a job to my stomach. A turnkey shall 
 serve your turn.” 
 
 Thereupon he was stamping towards the 
 door when I stopped him. 
 
 “ Sir Ralph,” says I in another voice, “ there’s 
 need for you and me to finish this matter 
 atween us. ’Tis true that the gentleman yonder 
 has about him certain papers of value. I had it 
 from himself. Moreover, ’tis certain also that I 
 know where they are hid.” 
 
 Baverstock glared at me, and Sir Ralph bit 
 his lip and frowned. 
 
 “Well?” he cried impatiently. 
 
 I laughed. “Turn the key i’ the lock, Sir 
 Ralph,” says I, “ for the opportunity of our 
 quarrel is now come, and we must risk no 
 interception.” 
 
 79 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 He started, and opened his mouth, and then 
 fell to whistling slowly, while a pleasant smile 
 grew on his face. 
 
 “Why, damn me, Ryder,” says he, “what a 
 strange rogue you are, for sure ! ” He paused, 
 looking at me thoughtfully. “ But this is mad- 
 ness, Ryder,” says he, presently. 
 
 “ Come, come, Sir Ralph,” said I ; “ let me 
 jog your memory.” 
 
 He was still staring at me, but seemed to 
 wake up, and broke into a merry laugh. 
 “ What, you would make a rescue ! ” he cried. 
 
 “I would give you the occasion you have 
 asked,” said I, bowing. 
 
 Again he paused, and at last, “ By God ! 
 Ryder,” he cried, “ cutpurse, canter, or gentle- 
 man of the road, you’re a man after my own 
 heart.” 
 
 “ Here’s a pair of us, then,” said I, smiling. 
 
 And, “In truth, I will not deny the com- 
 pany,” says he; “but,” he added, “I have a 
 mind to spare you.” 
 
 “ What do you mean ? ” I asked. 
 
 “Come,” he says, “I have already forgot 
 80 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 this gentleman’s hiding-place. Is’t in his boots, 
 eh? or perchance in his red hair? I vow I 
 misremember, and yet I swear you did your 
 business.” 
 
 For answer I drew my sword on him, but 
 as yet he made no movement.” 
 
 “ My poor Ryder,” he said, “ know you not 
 that, should I not finish you myself, there’s 
 a score of stout fellows without the door ? ” 
 
 “ Pooh ! ” said I. “ And there’s a key to the 
 door.” 
 
 Suddenly he turned, and stepping to the gate 
 of that dungeon shot the bolt softly. “ I wash 
 my hands of you,” said he, drawing his own 
 weapon at last. “ But stay, we must not fight 
 here, or the noise will reach the sentries.” 
 
 He seemed to consider, and then going to the 
 further wall, took a key from the bunch he 
 held, and turned it in the lock of a second door 
 which was half-hid by the darkness. 
 
 “Here’s the room for our entertainment,” he 
 said, and following on his heels I found myself 
 of a sudden enveloped in the blackness of night. 
 “We may not fight here,” said I. 
 
 81 
 
 F 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 “ And why not ? ” he asked, laughing. 
 “We shall meet then on level terms, for I 
 would not take you at the disadvantage of my 
 skill — thief though you be.” 
 
 “ Damn you ! ” I cried angrily, u what is this 
 gabble about thief? Come, put up your 
 weapon, an’ you will fight in the dark.” 
 
 Now the chamber, as I have said, was of the 
 thickness of a foul night, there being no en- 
 trance for the light, as I discovered afterwards, 
 save by a little low window looking forth on a 
 deep ditch, the which was now involved in the 
 fall of evening : so that neither he nor I might 
 discern between the shadows. I heard him try 
 the point of his sword upon the stone floor, 
 but by this, and the door being shut, I had 
 lost all count of his direction ; and then he 
 called to me, his voice coming from the further 
 end of the dungeon. 
 
 “ Are you ready, Ryder ? ” he said. 
 
 I gave him the answer in a clear voice, that 
 he might be at no disadvantage from ignorance 
 of my position, and then moved openly into 
 the centre of the chamber. 
 
 82 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 “Your spurs clank,” says he. “You had 
 best take ’em off, my friend.” 
 
 “ An’ you hold not your tongue,” says I, “ it 
 will answer my spurs well enough.” 
 
 He laughed. 
 
 “Have at you,” says I, and made a thrust 
 for the sound. But he must have broke away 
 at the moment, for my point took nothing but 
 empty air, and I was wellnigh my length upon 
 the floor. 
 
 For himself, he made no noise, and a silence 
 fell upon the dungeon, broken by little sounds 
 and starts from everywhere, for the wind and 
 the rain were playing without, and the human 
 noises within, if there were any, I might not 
 dissever from these signals of the storm. And 
 so for a time there was no transaction upon 
 the part of either. What he was at, I know 
 not, nor indeed had I the least inkling of my 
 own intention, save to watch and to listen in 
 jealous circumspection for my own person. It 
 was like no fight upon which I was ever 
 engaged, and I did not favour the notion of 
 it. For there was I on my side waiting in 
 
 83 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 the horrid blackness, sword in my hand, 
 eager for every sound amid the uproar of 
 the elements, and expectant to be lanced 
 through the groin any moment by the man, 
 for whom I was so far from having any bitter- 
 ness but I would gladly have shook hands with 
 him there and then. You must conceive me, 
 in this notable predicament, and regretting the 
 job with all my heart, while I listened, straining 
 like a cat at bay. And suddenly a brisker noise 
 to my left set me spinning round, and I struck 
 out fiercely. At the same moment our weapons 
 clinked together, and the next instant his point 
 was stinging in my arm. “Touched, Ryder, 
 touched,” said he merrily; and at that, feeling 
 the prick, and being now gotten to quarters, I 
 fell sharply to the exchanges with a better 
 stomach. 
 
 ’Twas a Bedlam business, and I can mind 
 the feel of it to this day. Our swords clinked 
 and clashed, but according with no rules, owing 
 to the remarkable blackness. At the first he 
 whistled away, but by-and-bye, warming to 
 the work, and, as I suppose, losing something 
 
 84 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 of his breath, he gave up, and I heard only 
 now and then the noise of his hard breathing. 
 We had by this both grown very serious, and 
 I’ll warrant that he wanted blood of me for 
 his pricks as much as I demanded it of him. 
 And then, as it fell out, the tip of my blade 
 took his shoulder. He swore under his breath. 
 
 “ ’Sdeath, Ryder,” he cried, “ ’tis the way 
 to my gizzard. Here’s for yours,” and came 
 at me more hotly 
 
 And this state of affairs ran on for something 
 over the half-hour, so that we soon came to 
 feel worn. I felt now that I had the uppermost 
 of him, being at once more agile in the dark- 
 ness, and of sharper ears ; whereas he may 
 have been the better swordsman — I never 
 knew. So all of a sudden, and when I was 
 pushing him very hard and heard the sounds 
 of distress in his throat, partly, no doubt, 
 because of his wound, I says, “Sir Ralph,” 
 says I, u this thing has gone far enough.” 
 
 “Ha!” cried he, through his panting. “I 
 have you winded, my fine fellow.” 
 
 “Nay,” I replied, “for my own part I am 
 
 »5 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 in no hurry to quit. Yet why should we be 
 at this labour for a man whom I do not reckon 
 at a straw ? ” 
 
 “Fie, Ryder, fie!” says he, 4 ‘to go back 
 thus upon a friend ! ” 
 
 “Indeed,” said I, “’twas no friendship but 
 a very common vanity set me on to this ; and 
 now that I am like to worst you, I am in no 
 mind to slay a man for the value of a humour.” 
 “Worst me!” says he, with a touch of 
 haughtiness ; “ my good man, I begin, for the 
 first time, to think you have a fear.” 
 
 But this was too much for me, and I made 
 no more effort to reconcile him, but, on the 
 contrary, beset him lustily. And then began the 
 last scene in that remarkable affair. We were 
 both spent with fatigue, but he was farther 
 gone than myself, and, besides, had his wound. 
 We were now, according to my guess, some- 
 where about the middle of the room. We 
 directed ourselves by instinct, and ’twas no 
 saying whether the blade would run into the 
 air, meet steel with steel, or cut and hack upon 
 the body. I was, myself, picked out with a 
 
 86 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 score of bloody places, and, being weak for 
 loss of blood, was for ending the hellish 
 
 business with all dispatch. And thus, with 
 thrust and parry, aimed and taken at random, 
 we pushed across the flagstones, he receding 
 slowly from my reach. But presently he 
 seemed to rally, and his blade came whizzing 
 for my vitals. Ere the point struck I was 
 
 back a foot, and lunging forward sent in my 
 
 own iron upon the level from my shoulder. 
 
 It lit upon his sword, and then slid up ; but 
 the blow was so hot that still the point ran 
 on, and the next I was aware had slipped softly 
 into something, and the hilt was fetched back 
 in my hand with a jar. All of sudden there 
 was a dull bang, as of a head upon the wall, 
 and a shrill and horrible scream rang out in that 
 black and fatal chamber. The heavy fall of a 
 body upon the stones ensued, and my sword 
 was j erked from my shaking hand. 
 
 “Sir Ralph/’ I cried, “Sir Ralph!” in an 
 alarm, for the shriek in a manner affected my 
 nerves, stiff though they be with a rough life. 
 
 There was a voice calling upon me feebly, and 
 
 87 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 suddenly all was quiet. I stooped over his 
 body, groping for it in the dark as best I might ; 
 and the first thing my fingers happened upon 
 was my own sword, which, following downward, 
 took me to his face. And at that and without 
 further inquiry, I fetched up, with my heart in 
 my mouth, for I knew now the meaning of that 
 sickening scream. And there was never a 
 sound from the dead man, but I, fingering in his 
 breast, felt the pulse of his heart was gone. 
 
 I remember that I stood up and gazed 
 stupidly into the black vacancy. Sir Ralph 
 was dead as a maggot, and there was the 
 topsman for me, and Baverstock too. This 
 set me thinking, and presently I ran smartly 
 into the other cell, where the fellow himself 
 lay unconcerned in the dusk upon the boards. 
 
 “ See, here,” said I, surlily enough, “ it seemed 
 that the price of your liberty is the price of a 
 life, and as ’tis a habit of mine to pocket what 
 I buy, come along and ask no questions ; for 
 ’tis your head as well as mine’s in danger.” 
 
 He followed me into the inner cell, where, 
 after a short exploration, we hit upon the little 
 
 88 
 
Of the Man from Cornwall 
 
 window of which I have spoken, and which 
 looked forth low upon a wide ditch half-full 
 of very muddy water. There was a bar across 
 it, which shook to the touch, and this it appeared 
 we might remove ; at least ’twas our one 
 chance. 
 
 “Wrench!” says I to Baverstock, and we 
 shook together. 
 
 Whether ’twas our united strength, or that 
 the bar was insecure, and the masonry inferior, 
 the room being long out of occupation, I know 
 not ; but the iron gave, and there was our 
 egress ready. I squeezed through the narrow 
 hole and dropped plump into the water, whither 
 my companion followed ; and, scrambling out 
 upon the farther side, we came presently by 
 devious bye-ways upon the meadows. I was 
 in no mood for talking, as you may believe, 
 neither by reason of my wounds, and the wetting 
 which made them smart, nor because of the 
 horrid affair of Sir Ralph’s death. Indeed, I 
 was more than impatient to be rid of the man 
 that had brought me into this needless business. 
 And so, when he turned to me in a formal 
 
 89 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 fashion, and spoke out his thanks, my temper 
 broke. 
 
 “ Sir,” says he, very stiffly, “ in the name of 
 King James III., I thank you for these services 
 to-day. Rest assured that they shall not be 
 forgotten when his Majesty comes to his own.” 
 ’Twas then I turned on him savagely. “ As ' 
 for your King James,” says I, “ or King Byblow, 
 what the Devil is it to me ? Let him go hang 
 or go rot,” says I. “But damn my soul!” I 
 says, “I have just let the life out of the only 
 man I could ha’ took for friend, and all for a 
 squinting country lout. And, damn your soul ! ” 
 
 I says, u but I will take toll of you for the fact.” 
 Whereat, taking him by the throat, I made 
 him deliver, for all his oaths and his fury. And 
 a pretty sum I took upon that occasion, as I 
 remember well, the which bought a box of 
 dainty trinkets for Mrs Polly. 
 
 90 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber ; of how I tres- 
 passed and of how I was so 
 oddly entertained 
 

 
Chapter III 
 
 Of the Lady’s Chamber ; of how I tres- 
 passed and of how I was so 
 oddly entertained 
 
 For the pother that fell in the “ Blue Boar,” I 
 was myself much in default. I had little busi- 
 ness, indeed, to be there at all, and specially at 
 that time; for the place was in ill-favour with 
 the officers, who were used to skip in and skip 
 out as familiar as pigeons in a dovecote. But 
 most of all was I to blame for hobanobbing with 
 Old Irons, as notorious for cribs as he was upon 
 the road, through whose foul-mouthed folly by 
 this double disadvantage the misadventure came 
 about. I take shame on myself to have kept 
 his company for more than the exchange of a 
 civil greeting, for I never could away with a 
 shabby trade like his. But the fact was I was 
 rolling on a full tide of liquor, having that even- 
 ing made Town from Winchester, with a heavy 
 
 93 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 lining to my pockets, and being buckled up, 
 pretty lively, upon the way to Polly. ’Twas 
 Old Irons that caught me at the “Blue Boar,” 
 where we sat cracking our bottles and gibbering 
 away in a maudlin sort of fashion for the better 
 side of two hours. Old Irons was fair set in 
 wine, and must needs come at last to bragging 
 at the pitch of his voice ; swearing his was a 
 smarter blade, and calling upon me in loud oaths 
 to try his mettle ; and then, as if this were too 
 little, falling upon me and beslobbering me with 
 affection, styling me his brother-in-arms, and 
 vowing in the next breath that all upon the 
 High Toby save himself were dirty devils, and 
 fit for nothing but to pimp about a boiling- 
 house. You may suppose this stuff was hardly 
 to my taste for all the wine that I had drunk, 
 nor was the landlord any easier, I could see, 
 from the frightened glances he threw at us. 
 
 “Damme,” says I at length, “close up, you 
 man of mouth; or you’ll find us warming the 
 inside of the Jug.” 
 
 And with that, and ere I had a notion, the 
 trick was done, the traps were on us, and there 
 
 94 
 
I 
 
 Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 was the landlord, wringing his hands and crying 
 out that ever this shame was come upon his house. 
 
 There was never a wickeder sinner than Old 
 Irons inside Christendom, or outside for that 
 matter, and I’d warrant his white hairs against 
 the best of Bow Street wits. He stood astar- 
 ing, and then began to cackle in a friendly, 
 drunken way. But I waited for no more, and 
 flinging off the paws from my shoulder, whipped 
 out my sword, and went right through ’em. 
 The poor cullies scattered like a crowd of 
 sparrows, and I was forth of the door and away, 
 with Old Irons shouting foul oaths behind, and 
 a pack of the catchpoles on my heels. I slapped 
 through the streets at a rare pace, for I am 
 swift on my pegs, but the traps were no 
 cripples neither, and kept close on my tail; 
 and presently it came across me that if I could 
 not make for my proper quarters, I -was like this 
 time to run myself out. And on the top of 
 this, being now got into the rear parts of 
 Golden Square, I found myself all on a sudden 
 rattling up a blind alley, with one of the dogs 
 near upon me, and nothing but a hedge of walls 
 
 95 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 upon either side. And what does I do then, 
 but without more consideration and on the 
 sudden suggestion, scramble into an open 
 window of a house that overhung the alley. 
 
 I was fair mad with myself to have been put 
 to this ignominy, and all for a beggarly crew 
 that I could ha’ driven with a bean-pole; and 
 gently pulling to the casement, I cursed Old 
 Irons for a daft, racket-pated old scoundrel. 
 But just then there was an interruption on my 
 thoughts in a little frightened cry that came 
 from the interior of the room. This made me 
 turn, for the Lord knew into what further 
 mischief I had fallen. The room was in dark- 
 ness save for one feeble light that was in the 
 back part. And here, to my exceeding sur- 
 prise, I perceived that I was come into a bed- 
 chamber. But no sooner were my eyes on 
 the bed itself and the disarray of the coverlets, 
 than they fell next upon a second discovery, 
 still more deranging. For there, cowering in 
 a corner and wrapped in an elegant sort of 
 nightrail, was a young miss, hiding her face, 
 and all ashiver from terror. This took me off 
 
 96 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 my fury forthright, for I was not the man to 
 scarify a woman so, save now and then in the 
 common course of business. Moreover, I was 
 also at the moment mightily disconcerted myself 
 with the traps outside, and so without more ado 
 I stepped further into the room, and, u Madam,” 
 says I, very courteously, a I would ask your 
 pardon upon this trespass, but I am in a sweat 
 for liberty, and I will swear but I mean no harm 
 by you.” 
 
 w Who are you ? ” she asked in a trembling 
 voice, and getting the clothes about her more 
 warmly. 
 
 u Why,” says I promptly, blowing away like 
 a grampus, “I am a poor rebel against His 
 Majesty, who is like to be taken and done for 
 at the hands of an accursed Law.” 
 
 “You will be killed?” she said. 
 
 I nodded. “Dead as mutton,” I answered. 
 
 “ Upon the scaffold ? ” she whispers, looking 
 very startled. 
 
 “You may call it that,” says I. 
 
 “ Oh ! ” she cries, drawing in her breath and 
 regarding me very pitifully. 
 
 G 97 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 “ Come, now,” said I, finding there was 
 little time to be exchanged upon these cere- 
 monies, with the mongrels baying below. 
 “Come, now, there is no manner of hurt in 
 an honest rebel against his King, and if you 
 will but serve me by a generous silence, I will 
 e’en pick my way forth of your house by the 
 proper gates, as comfortable as a footboy.” 
 There came some voices at that instant from 
 without in the alley, whereat she gave a gasp. 
 
 “ Oh ! they must not take you,” she said 
 eagerly. “ You must be hid.” 
 
 “Faith,” I replied, “I do not ask a privilege 
 so far, but if I may have the space of your 
 walls for passage I will make my own meat at 
 the end, if needs be.” 
 
 “No, no!” she said, seeming bewildered, 
 “they will be clamouring at the door.” 
 
 Now this was likely enough, as I guessed, 
 but what course else was before me, with none 
 but a girl’s petticoats ’twixt me and Newgate, 
 I was at a loss to conceive; and as for that, 
 there was not even petticoats, as it seemed, 
 in the case. 
 
 98 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 “Well, what am I to do?” says I, laughing. 
 
 “I will help you,” says she quickly: “I am 
 thinking.” 
 
 Now this piece of consideration in a young 
 miss that might well have run out of her 
 senses on my appearance, and screamed down 
 the house on me, gave me a mighty tender 
 feeling; but I said nothing at the moment, 
 seeing she was involved in thought. 
 
 Then: u You will see, sir,” she began in 
 
 a timid way, “that I am in a case of some 
 embarrassment ” 
 
 “ Gad ! ” said I, interrupting, for I could see 
 the confusion of her face, and I had clean 
 forgot she was so bare, “ I disremembered you 
 wore no clothes. I will go,” I says. 
 
 “No, no!” she protested, making a sudden 
 step out of her corner as though to stop me. 
 
 “But ” and here again she fell ashamed 
 
 and was covered with blushes. As yet I had 
 seen little of the girl’s viznomy, she being 
 obscured in the shadows, but at this forward 
 motion the light was flung upon her, and I 
 vow she was a pretty wench enough. I should 
 
 99 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 not ha’ minded to buss her there and then, 
 but seeing she was in such a taking, and had 
 used me so kindly, I made shift to ease her 
 delicacy. 
 
 “Hark’ee, miss,” says I, U I will secure 
 myself within the further room there, and you 
 shall clap the doors upon me as tight as you 
 will.” 
 
 But : “ No ! ” says she again, and in a hasty 
 manner: a ’Tis my sister-in-law’s room,” says 
 she. 
 
 “Faith!” said I, laughing, “I am come 
 into a regular plague of sleeping chambers. 
 But if I must needs, then, keep the room, sink 
 me ! but we will have the light out, young 
 madam.” 
 
 And then: “No,” again says she, looking 
 
 at me rather frightened. 
 
 “Oh, well,” says I in some impatience, “if 
 you will not trust me so far, in God’s name do 
 not trust me at all ; and I will take my way out 
 of the window again, with thanks.” 
 
 “Nay, nay!” she said, for that touched her 
 heart. “ But I will trust you, sir. If you will 
 
 xoo 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 but turn your back upon me, in sooth, I shall 
 be ready ere you may count fifty.” 
 
 “And so be it, and the Lord bless your 
 pretty face,” said I, tickled with the child. 
 Whereat I whisked about and stared out of 
 the window into the night ; and then for a 
 humorous whim, I fell on counting the figures 
 aloud, and as I did so, could hear behind me 
 the noise as of a mouse rustling among 
 garments. But presently, peering forth of the 
 casement, I thought I discerned a man upon the 
 further side of the alley, watching me, and with 
 that I dropped quiet and drew back a bit. And 
 thus it was that falling into oblivion of my 
 delicate position, and the bargain with Miss, 
 I was suddenly startled by the opening of a 
 door behind me, and a new voice upon the 
 silence; and jumping round I put my hand to 
 my sword. 
 
 It was ill-done, being against my compact, 
 but I had the excuse ^of my hazard, and I think 
 she did not remember it against me in the odd 
 event that succeeded. For there was my Miss, 
 half-dressed, and showing the white round of 
 
 IOI 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 her shoulders, fallen back upon the bed with a 
 very pale face ; while over against the doorway 
 was the newcomer, who first started herself, 
 then stared, and finally broke into a rippling fit 
 of laughter, which was very merry to hear. 
 
 “ Fie ! fie ! ” says she, “ and you so young 
 and milk-faced, sister. O you baggage ! ” says 
 she, laughing. 
 
 Miss was now all ablush from being white, 
 and seemed mightily confused ; but seeing how 
 the matter stood I stepped up myself, and says 
 I bluntly, “I’ll swear, madam,” says I, “that 
 she’s a vestal for me.” 
 
 “O Gad!” she cries, laughing louder, “you 
 kill me, sure. I warrant you make my ribs 
 ache. Nay, good sir, pray protest away. Lard, 
 I like you for it. ’Sbud, but ’tis an easy 
 costume, and I have tried it myself.” 
 
 But there Miss gets upon her legs again, 
 with her rail clutched to her throat, and, “You 
 mistake,” she says in a low tone, and all con- 
 fusion, “I — this gentleman •” 
 
 “ Slidikins, you chuck, don’t deny it,” cries 
 t’other. “Faith, I would not go back upon 
 
 102 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 an honest amour for all the jewels of London. 
 Oh, what a sly hussy; and you all fresh from 
 the country ! ” 
 
 This was gone too far for me, seeing Miss 
 there so embarrassed with her colour, and so 
 I spoke out very civil and very plain. 
 
 “ Indeed, madam,” said I, “ you do us injustice 
 in your suspicion, me in my presumption, and 
 the lady in her modesty. I’ll dare swear, if 
 she have a lover, ’tis not I.” 
 
 Once more she went off laughing. “You 
 ply a brave tongue,” she says. “How it wags 
 about ! W ell, what is’t ? Lard, give me a 
 pretty lie, and I’ll forgive you.” 
 
 “This gentleman is a rebel,” says Miss 
 eagerly. 
 
 “ A rebel ! ” cried she sharply, and looks me 
 up and down. 
 
 “And being beset of the King’s officers has 
 took refuge here by an inadvertence,” I put 
 in, bowing. 
 
 She surveyed me with deliberation, and then 
 smiled. “Foy!” she said, “’tis a likely sort 
 of rebel. And you would make my house your 
 
 103 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 covert. Why, the times is topsy-turvy when 
 we have rebels in a bed-chamber. Well, Mr 
 Rebel,” she said, U sure, you have a fine way 
 with you. And a good tall fellow for the 
 crows ! ” and she looked at me again. But % 
 meeting her eyes, somehow, for the life of 
 me I could not refrain from going off into 
 laughter on the same instant as herself. After 
 which she gave me a roguish glance, and “So,” 
 said she, “ you have brought the law to besiege 
 my doors. W ell ? ” 
 
 I put my hand to my heart. “ Madam,” 
 said I, “I have of an accident put Miss here 
 to the blush, and you to trouble. I think 
 shame on myself, but ’twas not of purpose 
 or proposal ; and if you will allow me I will 
 here take my leave.” 
 
 “ Lard ! ” she cries, making an eye at me, 
 “you are in haste to be quit of us. Sure, 
 since you please Cynthia, we must do our best 
 for you,” and then, tapping Miss upon the 
 cheek, “ Fie, sis ! ” she says, laughing, “ you 
 have excellent taste, you gixie, you. I shall 
 yet make a woman of you.” 
 
 104 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 But Miss drew back with a gesture, and 
 looking all pink and warm like a peony-flower. 
 “ Oh, your ladyship is cruel,” she broke out 
 with tears, “you deride me and you shame me.” 
 * T’other did nothing but giggle, being now 
 taken in a further fit, and there was me 
 standing stupidly, hat in hand, minding nothing 
 to say, and vexed out of patience with this 
 silly clutter. And in truth what would have 
 come of it all I cannot say, but at that juncture 
 a great rapping upon the outer doors sounded 
 through the house. 
 
 “They are here,” cried Miss suddenly, 
 started out of her tears. “ Oh, sister.” 
 
 “Foh! ” says her ladyship, “and indeed they 
 may knock at my doors.” 
 
 “You must open to them, madam,” said I, 
 “ they are on the King’s warrant.” 
 
 She stamped her foot, and looked imperious ; 
 then frowning, encountered my gaze dubiously. 
 “You think ’tis necessary?” 
 
 I shrugged my shoulders. “ Madam,” I says, 
 “I am mad to be overmuch in your way, and 
 
 I crave your pardon. Let me remove ” 
 
 105 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 “ O foh ! ” cried she lightly, “ an’ if we must, 
 well we must. His Majesty has no manners. 
 I’ll warrant we find a way to pass you off. ’Tis 
 a pity to peril the blood of so handsome a 
 rogue.” 
 
 “ He must be hid,” cries Miss. 
 
 “Nay,” said I, “I will serve myself best at 
 large, and not pent within some closet, where 
 a man’s iron were as much use as a toothpick.” 
 Her ladyship looks at me. “ Sure, we’ll 
 swear to you,” she says boldly. 
 
 “Well,” says I slyly, “an’ I might without 
 undue trespass be established for Mrs Cynthia’s 
 
 brother, why ” 
 
 “Yes, yes,” said the girl eagerly. 
 
 Her ladyship looked at me, and next at 
 Miss, and her eyebrows fell an instant. But 
 she said nothing, until presently, 
 
 “’Sbud,” she cried, clapping her hands, “I 
 have it, sure. Lard, yes, you shall be sis’s 
 brother and my husband. Gemini I But I 
 have been long without a bed-fellow.” 
 
 She held me with her roguish eyes, and 
 looked so damned taking that I was sore put 
 106 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 to it not to throw my arms about her on the 
 spot and take the privilege she proffered with 
 such a gust. But instead, “ Faith,” said I 
 promptly, “but the character will fit me with 
 all my heart ; and a handsomer wife ’twere 
 hard to find the length of Town,” says I. 
 
 “Why, for that matter, and the husband, 
 too, is uncommon,” she retorted, smiling at 
 me roundly. 
 
 There was that in her eyes that drew me, 
 and in a manner they seemed to communicate 
 with me. But that passed on the instant, and 
 she was laughing lightly the next second. 
 
 “ Lard ! ” she cried, “ ’tis a pretty plot. O 
 my Sol!” and turns to her sister. “Sis, sis, 
 I’ll warrant to save him, the pretty rogue. He 
 is no lover of thine, child, but mine own un- 
 lawful husband. Fie, what is come to your 
 cheeks, you jealous minx?” and pushed her 
 with a laughing contempt. 
 
 But Miss was looking askew, though I had 
 no eyes for her at the time ; and then again 
 the noise of the traps was repeated, and there 
 was the sound of footsteps in the house. 
 
 107 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 “Go, go,” says Mrs Cynthia. 
 
 “Yes, go,” says her ladyship, taking me by 
 the arm and pushing me to the door. “An’ 
 you be my husband, ’tis in my chamber you 
 must stay, not Cynthia’s.” And laughing she 
 put me forth and pulled the door upon me. 
 
 Now, I was in no mind to be there in the 
 dark for long, being indeed much taken now 
 with the adventure, which promised better than 
 I had dared imagine. And, moreover, I was 
 anxious to witness the end myself, whatever 
 it might be ; and so in a very few minutes, 
 and when, after a little, the sound of their 
 chatter was gone, I opened the door and, 
 creeping out upon the stairway, made for the 
 next floor. Here a noise of voices attracted 
 me to an oaken door, which shoving back, 
 I came into a very spacious chamber, lit up 
 as for the reception of guests. Here was 
 several people in brisk conversation, and my 
 two ladies among ’em, the one of which, she 
 that was to husband me, was calling in a high 
 voice. 
 
 “A highwayman!” she cries. 
 
 108 
 
 “ Lard, 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 gentlemen, and in my house ! Oh, and us 
 with all our jewels ! ” 
 
 And it was upon the echo of this that I 
 entered and came plump upon the company. 
 There was three of the traps, and they all 
 turned sharp at my footsteps. 
 
 “ What is this fuss ? ” says I, in a fine tall 
 voice, and regarding them all with indignation. 
 
 “Why, here is our man,” cried one of the 
 traps, a tall lout of a fellow, Wilkins by 
 name, as I knew very well by sight ; and 
 thereupon two of them, running up, set their 
 hands on me. 
 
 “ Oons ! ” cried I furiously, sending them 
 sprawling. “ What the devil ! You un- 
 mannerly scum ! ” 
 
 “’Tis the man himself, your ladyship,” said 
 Wilkins, and then ; “ Richard Ryder,” said he, 
 “I arrest you in the King’s name.” 
 
 “ God a mercy,” broke out her ladyship ; 
 “Sir Paul, what is this comedy?” 
 
 “ Sir Paul ! ” cries Wilkins in an amaze. 
 
 “’Tis my husband, sirrah,” says her lady- 
 ship haughtily. “Sir Paul Fulton of the 
 
 109 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 Firs, and Custos Rotulorum for the county of 
 Somerset.” 
 
 There was never a fellow taken so aback as 
 this Wilkins. He scratched his rough head, 
 and looked very puzzled, “But, your lady- 
 ship ” he says, and then stops and rubs his 
 
 nose. “’Tis the very moral of the man,” he 
 mutters. 
 
 “ Odzooks ! ” I said, coming forward and 
 keeping up my voice very stiff with the best 
 of the quality. “ You sottish tenterhook ! 
 What, would you lay hands upon a justice? 
 And upon what pretence, you hobnailed 
 rogue ? ” 
 
 U I beg your pardon,” he stammered, “I 
 
 ” ; and then whispered to his men. I 
 
 saw them nod their heads, and they talked 
 together with some show of excitement. 
 Then again Wilkins turned to me and “I 
 am sorry,” said he gruffly, “but you must 
 come with me, for it must be proven of the 
 justices whether you be what you claim to 
 be.” 
 
 “ Why ’ ” I cried, breaking towards him. 
 
 i io 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 “Damn you, you muckworm, you rascal — you 
 
 ” And taking the flat of my sword I 
 
 was there and then for laying ’em all to the 
 floor and shovelling ’em into the street. But 
 at that her ladyship, who had been feigning a 
 rare flutter, now stepped in, putting up a pretty 
 arm afore me. 
 
 “Stay, Sir Paul,” says she, and then very 
 imperiously to Wilkins, “You have dared doubt 
 a gentleman’s own word of what he is, and the 
 word of his wife, that he is her husband. 
 Well, as you be King’s officers, you shall have 
 witness, as is in your right to ask. Cynthia ! ” 
 she calls, and Miss comes up, looking very 
 white and frightened. “Who is this?” says 
 she, pointing at me. 
 
 “Sir Paul Fulton,” says the girl with a little 
 hesitation. 
 
 “ And my husband ? ” says her ladyship 
 sharply. 
 
 “Yes,” says Miss in a low voice. 
 
 Her ladyship faces the traps. “Well?” she 
 says. 
 
 Wilkins looked all confused ; and at this 
 
 1 1 1 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 point the door creaked and opened, and there 
 came in softly a little old gentleman, dressed 
 up very precious, and bedizened with fopperies. 
 
 Here, I must own, my heart was in my 
 mouth upon this apparition, for we were like 
 to have the tables turned upon our pretty 
 plot, whoever the Devil he was. But her 
 ladyship was never a whit dismayed. 
 
 “ Ah ! ” she said joyously, running up to 
 him, “you are come in the nick of time, Sir 
 Charles. What think you ? These rogues 
 will make out that Sir Paul here is no husband 
 of mine but a villain of a highwayman or some 
 low fellow. Tell ’em, Sir Charles, tell ’em,” 
 she says, clinging to him, 44 tell ’em to their 
 faces. Is not this gentleman here Sir Paul, 
 my husband, with whom I have gone to bed 
 these five years ? ” 
 
 If Wilkins was took aback before, the little 
 old gentleman was in even greater disconcert 
 now. He dropped his cane, and next his 
 snuffbox: then he started panting and wheez- 
 ing, and his eyes bulged out of his sockets; 
 and he grew a kind of purple. Faith, he went 
 
 1 12 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 through more changes of embarrassment than I 
 could reckon upon paper. 
 
 “Prythee, get your breath, Sir Charles,” 
 cried her ladyship, appealingly, “an’ your chest 
 be so bad again. But tell ’em, tell ’em. Lord ! 
 I shall die of this insolence.” 
 
 And then at last the old creature, getting his 
 wind, says, stammering, “Odds,” he says, “yes, 
 your ladyship, Sir Paul, for sure.” 
 
 “And is’t not my husband?” she says en- 
 treating. 
 
 “Gadsbobs, of course,” he stutters, “your 
 husband.” 
 
 “ Swear it to them,” she urges piteously, and 
 as one all in a tremble. 
 
 “ I’ll swear it,” says he in a fluster. 
 
 Her ladyship whipped round upon the traps 
 in a splendid bearing, and regarded them 
 haughtily. But that was enough for Wilkins. 
 He hung his head abashed, and made some 
 sort of amends in a sulky, terrified way. But I 
 paid him no heed, not so much as if he was 
 dirt, and the three fellows slunk out of the 
 room, with their tails curled under ’em, I assure 
 
 h 1 13 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 you. But it was not upon them I bent my 
 attention ; ’twas the little old gentleman as 
 tickled me. For there he was fallen, limp, into 
 a chair, snorting like a pig and mopping of his 
 face, staring the while first at me and then at 
 her ladyship, and sometimes in a bewildered 
 way at Mrs Cynthia. Then, when the door 
 had banged upon the fellows, her ladyship 
 burst out a-laughing. 
 
 “ Lard, Lard ! ” she cries, “ Sure, I shall die 
 of it all,” and tapping me on the shoulder, “My 
 poor Ryder,” she says, “ an’ that be what they 
 call you, you have a taking presence and a rare 
 possession. ’Sbud, but you make a handsome 
 husband, and I an admirable wife to you.” 
 
 “Indeed, your ladyship,” I said, “I am sorely 
 beholden to you ; and a more elegant display of 
 terrors I ha’n’t seen not upon any stage of 
 Town.” 
 
 And then the old boy thrust in, getting his 
 voice once more. “ O my lady,” he says, “ O 
 my dearest charmer, what does this signify? 
 Odds, but I am all amiss; and who is this 
 fellow ? ” 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 “ Fellow,” says she, drawing herself up with 
 an air of great magnificence. “ Faith, Sir 
 Charles, I will have you to speak civilly of my 
 husband, as you yourself have borne witness.” 
 
 That put him further about, with the colour 
 running in his funny old face. “ Odds, my 
 dear,” he cried in a wheedling voice, “ what 
 spirit of devilry is here ? What is this tantrum, 
 ninnykins ? ” 
 
 “ Devilry ! ” says she, “ ninnykins ! Sure, an’ 
 I was Sir Paul, ’twould not be I that would 
 stand by to hear these terms put upon his wife.” 
 
 Now I had no knowledge of what there 
 might be between ’em, save that they seemed 
 upon a certain intimacy, and for all that I knew 
 this might ha’ been the real bed-fellow. Seeing 
 her kindness for me, therefore, I was not for 
 making trouble between ’em, and I came 
 forward with my best manner. 
 
 “Hark’ee, Sir Charles,” I says bluntly, “what 
 has fallen ’twixt me and her ladyship is not for 
 your interference, whoever you may be. But, 
 an’ you fuss yourself into a heat about it, and 
 maybe with private grounds of your own, under- 
 115 
 
a 
 
 Galloping Dick 
 
 stand that if a lady shall do a poor gentleman 
 great service, ’tis to the credit of her heart, 
 as should be acknowledged the first by one of 
 your years.” 
 
 But upon this he rose in his chair, splutter- 
 ing. “ My years ! ” he squeaked. u Odds ! 
 my years ! I was born in the year of his gracious 
 Majesty’s Restauration, and there’s midwives to 
 prove it. Oons ! ” 
 
 “Well,” said I, “best hold your temper, for 
 even by that you are old enough to have better 
 manners than to fly out among ladies.” 
 
 He fell back, gaping at me, and quite speech- 
 less, for he must ha’ been sixty if he was one ; 
 and her ladyship good-humorously interposed. 
 
 “Come,” she says, “Lard! How you would 
 quarrel upon me ! But, ’slife, I have a mind to 
 sup. Sir Charles, cease your dudgeon, and 
 come to supper, you and Sir Paul there.” 
 
 The Lord knows I was willing enough, and 
 so, apparently, was Sir Charles, for without 
 more words he scrambled upon his thin shanks 
 and made hastily for the banquet room, where 
 an elegant treat was laid out and furnished for 
 1 16 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 us. And he was no sooner set at the board 
 than he recovered his wits and made play with 
 the victuals with a good spirit. As for me, 
 Lord ! I keep still the remembrance of the 
 company, and the viands, very lively. Her 
 ladyship was pleased to sit next me, and all the 
 time was chattering like a nest of magpies, 
 laughing and jesting and plying me with her 
 eyes in a way that warmed me even more than 
 the wine. Miss sat t’other side, seeming rather 
 demure, and the little old gentleman divided 
 himself between gulping down his food and 
 ogling at her ladyship. I was hollow in the 
 midriff myself, and there were good things 
 enough about us, and so I was pretty comfort- 
 able at the first. But after a little, and when 
 we were well on in wine, it suited her ladyship 
 to give a turn to her tongue that was not to my 
 liking. ’Twas that damned Wilkins as had put 
 it in her head, and the more she pursued me the 
 shriller the old scarecrow opposite screamed out 
 his hee-hee-hee, and cackled like a parrot. 
 Now, for all my experience of women, and 
 I have encountered them of all qualities, I am 
 ii 7 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 better with ’em upon the road, or elsewhere, 
 than thus, in a kind of obligation, and as it 
 were under a bond of gratitude. And what 
 made it worse, was that it had been no manners 
 to fume and grow surly. But, in truth, she put 
 me out. 
 
 For says she, archly, “ O my dear Ryder, 
 and ha’ you killed many in your business ? ” 
 and when Miss leaned over with her ears 
 open, “Faith, sis, I’ll swear ’tis a very wicked 
 fellow.” 
 
 “Why, no,” says I foolishly, “no more than 
 my share.” 
 
 “Ah, but,” says she, “I know you gentle- 
 men. O you rogue ! ” And ere I could prick 
 up my wits to retort on her, she gave a little 
 scream, and putting her hands to her face, 
 “ O Captain Ryder,” she says, feigning to 
 implore me, “an’ we meet, you will spare my 
 jewels? ’Slidikins, my dear Ryder, promise me 
 that.” 
 
 This set me shifting in my seat, but I was 
 at a loss for words ; and then she flew off 
 again in her light-headed fashion. “Captain 
 1 18 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 dear,” she says eagerly, “ odds me, but you 
 shall learn me the trade. Faith, and I’ll learn 
 it; indeed, sis, and I will.” 
 
 ’Twas not that I minded the knowledge 
 of my calling, for I never have blushed for 
 that ; but to be made a mock of before an 
 old Mawkin, and with Mrs Cynthia’s face 
 of wonderment opposing me, was a sorry 
 trial for my temper. But I was not to be 
 drawn out, and I passed it off pretty well, for 
 I says, “Faith, your ladyship,” I says a little 
 roughly, but smiling, “I will teach you any- 
 thing in the world, and Miss here, and the 
 rather that I’ll warrant with two pretty faces 
 and no ugly dowdies we should not want for 
 decoys.” 
 
 At that she laughed (but Miss turned red) 
 and, clapping her hands, filled me out more 
 wine. 
 
 “What an admirable husband I have gotten, 
 for sure ! ” she cries to Sir Charles, who was 
 hee-heeing in his silly fashion. 
 
 “ And,” says I, thinking to mark a score upon 
 him, if I might not upon her, “If you and me 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 should meet with some such rolling old rogue, 
 as Sir Charles there, in the hiccups, why I 
 warrant we should set ourselves up for life.” 
 
 Sir Charles stuttered, being indeed in the 
 hiccups himself, as I saw, but her ladyship 
 laughed louder, and being now gotten to her 
 fourth glass, put her hand on mine. 
 
 “Lard,” says she, “an’ we be not already 
 wed, which I have forgot, we’ll make a match 
 of it, Ryder.” 
 
 I was fairly mellow myself by then, and I 
 answered smart enough. “If your ladyship 
 will,” says I cheerfully, “ faith I’m for the noose 
 to-morrow.” 
 
 Old Mawkin gave a little snarling laugh. 
 
 “I wonder at you,” he squeaked, “to hear 
 you talk so boldly of nooses.” 
 
 “’Slife,” said her ladyship sharply, “and why 
 should he not ? Mercy ! may not my husband-to- 
 be converse of what he will in the house that 
 shall be his ? ” 
 
 “ Oons, what mean you ? ” asked Mawkin, 
 with a hiccup, “a jest is a jest,” he says. 
 
 “And a sot is a sot,” she retorted quickly. 
 
 120 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 “But an’ you keep your wits from the orgy, 
 you may dance me to church to-morrow ; ” 
 and she sent me such a languishing look as 
 thrilled me to the reins. 
 
 “By God, that is so,” I said, all afire; and 
 then she laid her hand in mine, and the impulse 
 coming over me sudden, I drew her over with a 
 movement, and kissed her loudly. 
 
 “ O, you villain, you,” said her ladyship, 
 but she laughed softly and held my hand still. 
 But Sir Charles was gotten upon his legs, all 
 yellow and purple, and his nose gleaming above 
 the rest of his face; while Miss was all of a- 
 tremble.” 
 
 “ Sis,” she cried, “ Sis, shame on you ! 
 You would take this jest too far.” 
 
 Her ladyship only laughed ; and then old 
 Mawkin stamps to the door, shaking his fist, 
 and “You — you are a wanton — ” he hiccuped, 
 
 “odds — you — you ” and out he scrambles 
 
 without finishing, and with our laughter after 
 him. Then there was a moment’s pause, after 
 which Miss turns and addresses me. 
 
 “ I know not who you be, sir, nor what be 
 
 21 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 your business. That is between you and your 
 conscience. But as you lay a claim to be 
 a gentleman, you will see ’tis a late hour and 
 the time for your leaving.” 
 
 For the life of me I could not say how it 
 took me so, for I was never less in the mind 
 to go; but there was that in her bearing 
 and still more in her eyes that sobered me 
 very swiftly ; and all of a sudden I recalled 
 that ’twas she that had befriended me in the 
 first. With which I stood slowly on my feet, 
 and “ ’Tis true,” says I roughly, but with an air 
 of decision, “ I had forgot the hours, and needs 
 but I must be packing after Sir Charles. But if 
 ’tis in my hand,” said I, looking at both of ’em 
 studiously, u to return this pleasant entertain- 
 ment one day, why here’s my word for to 
 command me.” 
 
 “Fie ! Cynthia,” puts in her ladyship sharply, 
 ’’you jealous malapert. Out, you shameless 
 baggage, that would rob me of a husband ! ” 
 
 Miss shrank away, very still and white, and her 
 ladyship turns to me, smiling. “What!” she 
 cried, “you would take fright at this chitty- 
 
 122 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 face? Foh! and I shall be jealous myself. 
 But Lard, yes,” she says, simpering, “ the child 
 is right. My reputation is to lose. You must 
 not pepper that with spots. O Lard, no. But 
 if not to-night it shall be to-morrow, an’ it fit. 
 Foh ! yes.” 
 
 I looked at her a moment, and her tumul- 
 tuous eyes, and then, u Sink me,” I cried, u to- 
 morrow it shall be.” 
 
 I scarce know how I came out of the house 
 and was got to bed, but the next morning I was 
 up betimes and engaged with the affairs of the 
 night. You must fancy that here was an odd 
 predicament in the which to find myself. For 
 the lady herself, I had scarce a doubt but she 
 had settled a kind of affection upon me, and 
 indeed I was no gallows-bird for looks, though 
 the women were ever the worst element in my 
 fortunes. But what set me pondering was this : 
 that the bargain was composed deep in wine, 
 and that whereas I was now considering of my 
 position, her slugabed ladyship too might be 
 biting her fingers at me and laughing all over. 
 For the marriage itself, no doubt I had a mind 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 to it ; for ’twas a rare chance fallen in my way, 
 such as we devil-may-care gentry would accept 
 singing. I would ha’ leapt to gather the fruits 
 of our relations, with her a widow, as I con- 
 ceived, and guineas chinking in from many a 
 broad acre. And if it came to that, I had a 
 fancy for her, for she was a woman of mark, 
 with the brand of her beauty as thick on her 
 as her powder. Not but what Polly Scarlett 
 had a neater turn to her shoulders, and a 
 smarter leg to her kirtle. For the matter of 
 that neither was as good as Miss’s for I had 
 seen both of hers pretty plain. Yet her lady- 
 ship had an air of gaiety, as it might be, which 
 reminded me of Mrs Polly, and I’ll dare swear, 
 save for the other considerations, there was little 
 to pick between ’em. Still, the adventure, upon 
 my reflections, came out thus : that I would be 
 married an’ she would have it, and be damned to 
 Sir Charles and sis also. And having gotten 
 these convictions, what does I do, but, like a 
 fool, gets on Calypso, and rides off to a mews 
 near by ; whence, striking into the square, I 
 stopped before her ladyship’s door. 
 
 124 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 When I was come inside, after a parley with 
 the footboy, I found her ladyship stretched upon 
 a couch and seeming very weary and lacka- 
 daisical. 
 
 “ O Lord,” says she, “ ’tis my old friend, 
 Ryder. Sure, captain, you are come to make 
 me merry of your wits, for I be sad enough.” 
 And that was true, for she was pale, as I might 
 discern beneath her colours. 1 was come in a 
 very high spirit, and as elegant, I’ll warrant, as 
 Sir Charles himself, saving for the gewgaws 
 about him, and for all that she was so melan- 
 cholical I was not to be stayed and started off 
 very sprightly. 
 
 “ O Lard, Ryder,” says she, “ how you run 
 on ! And what is the news of Town ? ” 
 
 “Why,” said I, “there is nothing about the 
 streets, your ladyship, save the runners, and 
 that Sir Charles is fallen into a chagrin.” 
 
 She laughed soundly at that, and “ O you 
 rogue,” she says. 
 
 “ And,” I went on, “ beside that there is no 
 news save the news that I love you, and that 
 news is old news since last night.” 
 
 125 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 “ What a lover you make ! ” she cried, very 
 well pleased, as I could see. 
 
 “Nay, rather,” says I, “ what a husband ! ” 
 
 u Husband!” says she, with a yawn, “Troth, 
 ’tis a silly word.” 
 
 “’Twas you as spoke it last night,” said I 
 bluntly. 
 
 “ O foh ! ” says she, “ you have a most dis- 
 tressing memory, Ryder.” 
 
 But I was not to be put off like that, and, 
 having now the fit upon me, I plunged pretty 
 deep into my affections. I wager I gave her 
 as good a story as any of the water-blooded 
 ninnies of the Town, and I vow, too, that she 
 took it with a rare relish. For she seemed 
 vastly delighted, and she says, sighing, “How 
 you woo, Ryder ! ” she says. O my poor 
 Ryder, how you must ha’ suffered ! Lord, 
 you would believe I was a chit in my teens, 
 like sis, there.” 
 
 “As for teens,” says I, “you and me are 
 gotten beyond. I would not have a slip like 
 that for a king’s ransom. Give me a fine stark 
 woman with two valiant and artful eyes in her.” 
 126 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 “ O fie,” she said, feigning to cover her face, 
 “ you are a most instant villain. How you press 
 me ! And, I warrant, you ha’ loved scores.” 
 “One may dabble in the sex,” I said, “but 
 I have had a passion for none save your lady- 
 ship. And I have seen hundreds, but never 
 one to match the turn of your shoulders.” 
 
 “I have pretty shoulders,” says she, glancing 
 down at ’em : and she stretched herself upon 
 the couch so as her ankles showed beneath the 
 borders of her petticoats. 
 
 “Aye,” said I, “ and more ! ” 
 
 “ O foh,” she says, but her eyes sparkling, 
 “ there be plenty in the Town with better 
 points upon ’em.” 
 
 “Indeed, and there’s not,” says I, “as I will 
 prove upon the body of any Huff in London, if 
 he have the ill taste.” She gave me a look out 
 of her eyes, the which set me off in a whirl. 
 “Come,” says I suddenly, “what’s amiss that 
 we should not fetch the parson ? ” 
 
 “ O Lard,” she sighed and simpered, “ what 
 would the wits of Town say ? They would 
 rhyme me out of my life.” 
 
 127 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 “And I,” I said, “would bleed ’em out of 
 theirs.” 
 
 “What a tongue you wag, for sure,” said 
 she archly. “I fear, Ryder, you would take 
 me by storm.” 
 
 “ I would take you, an’ the parson had 
 hummed upon us,” says I. 
 
 “ How you clatter about this parson ! ” says 
 she querulously. “There’s better things than 
 church and parson.” 
 
 “Why, as for them,” I said, “maybe I do 
 not reckon so much upon them myself.” 
 
 “Well?” says she smiling, holding me and 
 as it were inviting me with her eyes. What 
 was for coming I know not, for my head was 
 dizzy, but just then enters, pat upon us, that 
 nidgett, Sir Charles, tripping over his toasting- 
 iron as he comes in. 
 
 “What! is’t you, Sir Charles?” cries her 
 ladyship, while I stood frowning at this spoil- 
 sport, and he staring at me. Then, “But you 
 know my dear Ryder,” says she gaily. “Faith, 
 you interrupt us in our bridal rehearsal.” 
 
 The Mawkin stared at me, blinking his eyes, 
 128 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 and then with a snort turned short away and 
 marched up to her ladyship. I was sufficiently 
 put about as it was, and was in no temper to 
 stand this ; so making a stride after him, I took 
 him by the collar and wheeled him round. 
 
 “ Sir ! ” said I tartly, “ you have been intro- 
 duced to a gentleman, and for a gentleman to 
 scowl upon a gentleman in any case is not after 
 my notion of civility. So that’s for you,” l 
 says. 
 
 “ Odds ! ” he cried with his squeak, and 
 lugging at his sword, while the red nose on 
 him stood out more like a door-knob than ever. 
 
 “ Leave that skewer alone,” says I sharply, 
 “ or must I learn you that ’tis not for a gentle- 
 man to draw in the presence of a lady ? ” 
 
 But as he still struggled with his hilt, and 
 stammered and spluttered, as it might be in a 
 fit, I took him by the nape of the neck and 
 shoved him towards the door. 
 
 “ Odds ! ” he says. u Bobs ! ” he says. 
 “ Oons ! ” says this Mawkin, “ you shall 
 repent this.” But I ran him to the door and 
 filluped him out into the hall, and then, re- 
 i 129 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 turning, found her ladyship fair rolling on the 
 couch with laughter. 
 
 “ O Ryder, dear ! ” she cried, “ you are an 
 uncommon entertainment. Faith, you capture 
 my heart.” 
 
 But here again there was an interposition 
 upon us ; for Miss came hastily into the room 
 with a billet for her ladyship. 
 
 “ O Gemini ! ” cries her ladyship. “ Foh, 
 what is this ? You interrupt us. I want not 
 your bills. Lord, you should ha’ seen my Sir 
 Paul with Sir Charles here. Troth, there’s 
 comedy left in life.” And with that her eyes 
 fell upon the superscription of the letter, and 
 she gave a start, and sat up quickly. 
 
 But while I was wondering what this might 
 mean, for I saw that she was flustered, Miss 
 came up, and “ May I have a word with you, 
 sir ? ” she said in a low voice. 
 
 “ Certainly,” said I, “and a thousand for 
 such a pretty face.” 
 
 Her lip curled a little, but she made no reply 
 to that, beginning in quite another vein. 
 
 “ Sir,” she said, “ I know not who or what 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 you be, nor whether you be rebel or highway- 
 man; but ’tis best that you should leave this 
 house.” 
 
 “What!” said I, “and her ladyship there 
 who is to wed with me ? ” 
 
 She turned her head sharply from me, but 
 then, coming back again, made as if to speak 
 once more ; but at this point her ladyship broke 
 in. 
 
 “O Lord, sis,” she cried, “give me joy. 
 Faith, and you must guess. Who is’t, d’ye 
 suppose, save the faithless Malvern, the dear 
 rogue ! ” 
 
 “Why, what is this?” I asked, for there was 
 that about her show of excitement that made 
 me wonder. But she took no heed of me, and 
 went on crying out in terms of unaccustomed 
 gladness about this “ devoted wretch,” and this 
 “dear villain,” and declared that her hair was 
 all awry, and that she would never be fit more 
 to receive a chairman. 
 
 I was not to pass all this in silence, as you 
 may imagine, and so I broke in sharply : “Your 
 
 ladyship ” said I ; but ere I could get two 
 
 I3i 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 words out of my mouth, she waved me away 
 with a gesture of impatience. 
 
 “ Lard, Ryder, d’ye see that I am busy ? I 
 have enough to do but to mind your tantrums ; ” 
 and fell to re-reading of her letter with every 
 demonstration of delight. 
 
 And while I stood there for the moment, 
 mortified and dubitative, I heard Miss’s voice 
 again in my ears. “Sir,” she says, “and in- 
 deed ’tis urgent that you go ? ” 
 
 “Why ” I cried, turning on her in vexa- 
 
 tion ; but then something in her viznomy 
 stopped me. “Well, what is it?” I asked. 
 
 “Whatever you be,” she says, “you have 
 enemies, who will be brought upon you very 
 soon. And you had best escape while there is 
 time.” 
 
 “ Oh ! ” said I, for now I understood. “ You 
 mean old Mawkin ? ’Tis a treacherous old 
 hunks, and I will prick him into a few holes 
 with his own bodkin.” 
 
 “I name no names,” she says quickly, “but 
 you will go ? ” she urged. 
 
 “ Damme, no,” says I, being now angered at 
 
 132 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 this general opposition; “but I will have it out 
 with her ladyship first, and Hunks too.” I 
 stepped up to her, for the tables were like 
 to be turned upon me all on a sudden. “Your 
 ladyship,” says I, “you ha’ treated me ill.” 
 
 “O Lard, Ryder,” she cried, stamping her 
 foot with impatience. “ Don’t ye hear sis ? 
 Get ye back to your highways ere justice 
 overtakes ye.” 
 
 Now this was spoken very brutally, and for 
 all that she had done for me I had not merited 
 a jibe like this at her hands. My blood was 
 up, and I answered very plain. 
 
 “Hark’ee, your ladyship,” said I, “I know 
 when a face is welcome. But that’s not to the 
 point,” says I ; “ for I cannot abide your high- 
 mannered whimsies, and I am no petty varlet to 
 be plucked and tossed aside for sport. Why, 
 says you, ‘We will go to church.’ ‘Certainly,’ 
 says I, seeing your ladyship’s girdle clips the 
 rarest piece — and a pair of eyes ! ‘ To- 
 
 morrow,’ says you, ‘To-morrow for me,’ says I. 
 And, faith, when it comes to the act, there’s 
 no more than a footboy’s discharge, or as 
 133 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 much ceremony as you would waste upon your 
 maid.” 
 
 At that she looked up from her reading for 
 the first time, and laughed at me. “ My poor 
 Ryder,” she says, “you ha’ been my husband 
 for a day, and I am not used to keep ’em longer. 
 Thank God that I didn’t divorce ye sooner.” 
 u Go, sir ! ” pleaded Miss, at my ears ; and 
 she was right enough, for there was the traps 
 at the door, as I could hear. 
 
 “Yes, go, my highwayman,” says t’other, 
 indifferently. 
 
 “Well,” says I grimly, “an’ I be a highway- 
 man, the which I will not deny, damme, I will 
 not go empty-handed. One or t’other,” says I, 
 looking at ’em, “ make your choice, or I’ll have 
 both.” 
 
 Her ladyship laughed, and Miss turned 
 red. “ O, you may have sis,” says her ladyship. 
 “ Only leave me my jewels.” 
 
 This nettled me further. “ Damn your 
 jewels,” I says, “I’ll have someone forth along 
 of me, sink me if I don’t.” 
 
 ’Twas then that the door opened, and I 
 134 
 
Of the Lady’s Chamber 
 
 turned, thinking the traps were right upon me, 
 but ’twas only Mawkin, rubbing his fingers and 
 humming to himself, very much pleased. 
 
 “Take Sir Charles,” says her ladyship lightly. 
 
 And somehow all of a sudden the humour 
 took me, for I am a man of odd impulses ; and, 
 moreover, I recalled that all this had fallen out 
 by reason of his treachery. I slapped my leg. 
 
 “By Gad ! ” I says, “ and so I will.” 
 
 Mrs Cynthia cried out aloud, and her lady- 
 ship laughed, and old Mawkin struggled ; but 
 I took him by the small of his back, and flinging 
 him over my arm, made for the door. 
 
 “They will take you,” cried Miss, “they will 
 take you.” 
 
 “By the way I came in,” I says, “ by that 
 way I go forth, and a pest upon all petticoats ! ” 
 
 “Don’t ye stay in sis’s chamber,” cries out 
 her ladyship, screaming with laughter. 
 
 But I was out of the room and up the stair- 
 way, ere I could hear more. I pulled old 
 Mawkin through the window for all his gam- 
 badoes, catched up Calypso (and my boots) at 
 the mews, and was out and away upon the 
 135 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 turnpike to Uxbridge, ere ever a jannizary was 
 in sight. And ’twas not till I was come under 
 Tyburn Tree that 1 dropped him off the saddle, 
 whence he fell with a splash into some muddy 
 pool that the stream makes there. But as for 
 me, I galloped on, feeling, as you may suppose, 
 mightily out of appetite with women. 
 
Of the Enterprise of the King’s Treasure 
 
Chapter IV 
 
 Of the Enterprise of the King’s Treasure 
 
 ’Twas the narrowness of my fortunes, as much 
 as my own giddy head, that leagued me in the 
 business of the King’s Treasure. I have always 
 borne a brain ; there was never an adventure 
 to my fist but I measured out its chances ; and 
 sometimes ’twas taken, though against all odds, 
 and other times ’twas left for a piece of fool- 
 hardiness. It was along of my mood. For the 
 matter of that, we gentlemen of the road live 
 no feather-bed lives, and it is our trade to 
 forestall the assaults of Death. But this affair 
 went against not only my judgment but my 
 will ; and I make no doubt that I would not ha’ 
 taken up with it, had it not been that my 
 pockets were bare, and my head was singing 
 with wine. Altogether, at the moment, I 
 conceive that the world and I were on pretty 
 
 139 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 lively terms. But ’twas the leanness of my 
 purse as drew me on. “Split me,” says I to 
 Danny, throwing a crown at him, “ and here’s 
 my last coin upon it ; ” and there upon the spot 
 the bargain was struck. But the next day I 
 was out of temper with myself. ’Twas not 
 the greatness of the peril that put me off, for 
 I have never been stopped by a bloody point 
 in all my days ; but the truth was, there was 
 never a rascal of the whole pack of our fellow- 
 ship that I would care to join hands with on 
 an emprise of the kind. I was not for couples 
 myself : I kept myself aloof ; and Old Irons and 
 I wore the best reputations upon the road, but 
 in very different ways, as you may fancy. Old 
 Irons was as black a rogue as you may con- 
 jecture, being bred up from a lad for cutpurse 
 and wheedler, and entertaining any business as 
 would fetch him in a guinea to break a bottle 
 on. Out of his drink he was as cunning as 
 he was ferocious, but in wine you would not 
 match his bravadoes out of Hell. And, by a 
 curious chance, it was this very man that 
 directed me to the folly of the adventure. 
 
 140 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 ’Twas Creech as had the information to start 
 with, and took it from no less a person than 
 Timothy Grubbe himself. “ Ay, there you 
 are,” says Old Irons to me, u and who d’ye 
 suppose is blind cuckoo enough for to walk into 
 Timothy’s net ? Why, you, Dick Ryder,” says 
 he, “ you and a buffle-head like Creech there.” 
 
 “ As for that,” I said, for I was nettled at his 
 sneering, “I can see a point or two beyond 
 Timothy Grubbe’s back, and without ever a 
 wink from you.” 
 
 u Rip me,” says he, starting up, u d’ye think 
 I could not ha’ been in the job myself ? And I 
 suppose ’twas not Timothy as came wheedling 
 of me with his rat’s eyes, and clapping me on 
 the back for a lord, and thrusting forth his 
 tongue upon the sight of guineas that a man 
 of heart might take in a night an’ he used his 
 weapons briskly. Bah ! ” says Old Irons, “ I 
 trust no thief-catcher, nor no go-between, not 
 till I pull my locks at the topsman.” 
 
 And this was true enough about Timothy 
 Grubbe, as every man of us knew very well. 
 There was many that owed the Jug and the 
 
 141 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 Tree to that mealy-mouthed scoundrel, with his 
 pink eyes and his greasy grin. If ever the 
 Devil came to London Town, it was with 
 Timothy’s hide he covered himself. For it 
 was his aim to stand in security somewhere 
 half-way ’twixt us fellows and the Law, and 
 squeeze the both; and but that he had the 
 lives of scores upon his tongue, and was very 
 useful withal at a pinch, both to us on the lay 
 and to the traps, he would have been hanged 
 or pistolled for his pains long since. But, 
 Devil or none, Timothy Grubbe was not a 
 name to frighten me, nor was I to be lectured 
 by a sot like Old Irons. And so I told him 
 roundly ; and then while we were drinking at 
 the “Bull’s Head,” who should come up but 
 the man himself. 
 
 He stepped forward to us smartly, as though 
 we were the particular game he was after, and, 
 “ Ho ! Ho ! Dick Ryder,” says he, with that 
 intolerable grin of his, “ and there’s sport 
 ahead, is there, Dick? Pretty goldfinches to 
 nest in your pockets, eh ? So, so, Dick ; and 
 you look full-mettled for business. What ? ” 
 142 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 And he stood there wagging the head upon 
 his wry neck, as though he had fallen from 
 the topsman’s cart a while too soon. 
 
 Old Irons said nothing, for he was mighty 
 quiet when Timothy Grubbe was about ; but I 
 would not keep silence before a half-hanged, 
 mal-faced mongrel like him. 
 
 “And who are you, Timothy Grubbe,” said 
 I, “to come athrusting in your nose atween 
 two gentlemen at supper? Does His Majesty 
 give you that right along of the privilege to clap 
 poor cullies in the Jug?” 
 
 He grinned worse than ever, nodding his 
 twisted head, but shot me an evil look out of 
 his narrow eyes. 
 
 “ Ah, here’s a wit,” says he. “ Here’s a wit 
 as the ladies of the Court have lost. A fine 
 young gentleman, Captain Irons, and a fine clean 
 job he made nigh Petersfield last week; and a 
 fine entertainment, too, he will make some day 
 upon Tyburn Tree, with the Ordinary apraying 
 over him, and his heels akicking the air ! ’Twill 
 be a better sight than you’ll make, Captain Irons, 
 for all the little matter at Bedford, and Colonel 
 H3 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 Truscott’s jade, that died a natural death, in 
 course, last seventh of August. Why,” says 
 he, “ I have known gentlemen of this kidney 
 now for twenty years, and I’ll warrant I never 
 put eyes upon a braver figure of a man than 
 Galloping Dick. This is some nobleman’s 
 by blow, surely, Captain Irons,” says he, address- 
 ing him but watching me. 
 
 “ Now, damn you ! ” I cried, getting off my 
 seat, u an’ you have not the civility to quit, I’ll 
 take leave to quoit you forth myself.” 
 
 Old Irons stuck out an arm to hold me, being 
 turned very white in the gills at the jars upon 
 himself, but I was scarlet with fury, and I drew 
 a knife on Grubbe. 
 
 a Ha ! ” says he, not changing his tone, but 
 keeping his eye warily upon me, and slipping 
 dexterously aside, “ ’tis a mettlesome lad. I’ll 
 wager him against a shipload of his Majesty’s 
 officers.” Then, “ Put that down,” says he in 
 another voice, very sharp, but still quiet. I 
 looked at him, and he burst out laughing. u O 
 fie, Ryder,” he said, “to take a jest like this! 
 Come, my cock, come ; put up that gully and 
 144 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 drink for me to a fine moon to-morrow evening. 
 I’ll warrant we all love a moon. ’Tis a fine 
 sight to watch the heavens sprinkled with stars 
 and to know that the Lord Almighty is upon 
 His throne.” And chuckling to himself over 
 his blasphemy, he called up the landlord with 
 some wine. 
 
 But though I was embarked upon this 
 business, and that in a kind of fellowship with 
 him, I would see the rogue burst ere I kept him 
 company. And the truth was that I was now 
 maddened to be linked with him, but I durst not 
 go back upon Creech, as I considered coming 
 forth of the tavern ; and, moreover, I had 
 myself drawn Zacchary Mills into the same 
 excursion, a lad of spirit, with a serviceable 
 weapon and a merry pair of lungs. And so it 
 fell that we made the venture, as had been 
 agreed, upon the next evening. 
 
 The coach was bound for Chatham, with 
 kegs of his Majesty’s guineas for the ships 
 there, and first I must post down the road early 
 in the afternoon to determine a position for our 
 ambuscade. I reckoned to come up with the 
 K . 145 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 escort over Shooter’s Hill, some miles this side 
 of Dartford ; and, having marked the spot and 
 laid out a rude plan, I rode into Dartford itself, 
 where I pulled up at the u Pigeons ” for a pint 
 of wine. I had no thought at the first but to 
 wash my throat and be off, but the day was 
 warm and the tavern mighty cool and alluring ; 
 and there I fell a-talking with a civil-mannered 
 fellow, that was a chandler hard by. He was a 
 comfortable old cock, of an affluent habit, and 
 pretty well to do, as I suspected. He babbled 
 like a mill-stream, and, being on easy terms 
 with the landlord, soon drew him also into the 
 conversation ; so that in a little there was the 
 three of us discoursing together just as pleasantly 
 as though we had sung in the same quire all our 
 days. Master Nick-and-Froth, who was an 
 affable party, fetched out a choice bottle for his 
 crony, and, having taken a fancy to myself, 
 nothing will suit but I must join them. Nor 
 was I loth, for as yet it was early, and there was 
 a dusty road ’twixt me and our place of assigna- 
 tion. And that, I suppose, with the good cheer 
 and the undisguised admiration of the two old 
 146 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 joskins, set me babbling rather plainer than was 
 wise, so that in the end the chandler looks at 
 me inquisitively. 
 
 44 You have seen a deal of life,” he says. 
 44 One might wonder, to be curious, what might 
 be your trade.” 
 
 That shut me up in a trice, for I had been 
 talking of bloody things I had seen adventured. 
 44 Ah, yes,” said I carelessly, for I knew it was 
 best to lead ’em boldly out of their suspicions, if 
 so be they had already conceived any. 44 I ha’ 
 seen a damned sight more evil deeds than I 
 could say. But when the Law says 4 Mum,’ 
 why I says 4 Mum,’ too, as in duty bound.” 
 
 44 Oh ! ” says the fat chandler brightly. 
 44 Are you an officer ? ” he says. 
 
 I winked. 44 Hark’ee,” said I, 44 when silence 
 is called, there had best be no questions,” and I 
 nodded at him meaningly. 44 But an’ I might 
 speak of what my masters would fain leave in 
 oblivion, I could tell tales as would astonish you. 
 
 Why even to-day ” says I, and there broke 
 
 off. 44 Bah ! ” I says, 44 my tongue wags.” 
 
 44 We’ll ha’ some more wine,” says the 
 147 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 chandler after a moment, and with extreme 
 friendliness. 
 
 “Well,” said I, for the whim ran into my 
 head on the moment to set their fat eyes a- 
 goggling, “if it be another glass, why I will 
 not say no ; but upon that limit I stop. D’ye 
 understand ? I stop,” I said, bringing my foot 
 with the stamp on the floor. “His Majesty’s 
 business can ill afford to wait upon any man’s 
 thirst” 
 
 “ His Majesty’s business ! ” cried the fat 
 chandler, exchanging a glance with the inn- 
 keeper, and opening his eyes. 
 
 “ His Majesty ! ” says I sharply. “ I said 
 nothing of His Majesty. Must you be putting 
 words between a gentleman’s teeth ? ” 
 
 “ No, no,” says the fat chandler hastily, 
 “ ’twas my mistake,” and signed to the landlord 
 to bring another bottle. When it was come, 
 he filled the glasses, and put one to his 
 lips. “Well,” he says, smiling at me amiably, 
 “ Here’s to the success of any business you may 
 have in hand, friend ; and I’m sure ’tis of 
 importance.” 
 
 148 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 “ Ah ! ” says I, after a draught, and shaking 
 my head sagely, “You may say that. Why, 
 if ’twere not for me, that stands here, His 
 Majesty might be ten thousand guineas the 
 poorer this night.” 
 
 The chandler lifted his brows at the landlord 
 again, and smiled and nodded, as though he 
 would say, “We are getting to it now.” I 
 brought my fist down upon the bench with a 
 thump. 
 
 “ Does any man tell me,” I says, “ that I’m 
 not the match of a dozen snarling rascals such 
 as may chance to pounce upon His Majesty’s 
 coach this side of Chatham ? ” 
 
 “ What ! ” said the chandler, starting. “ Is 
 there an escort to Chatham to-night ? ” 
 
 “Rot me,” says I, feigning to stare at him 
 stupidly. “ Whose wits are wool-gathering 
 that you gabble about Chatham ? I know what 
 I know,” I says, “ and I can hold my tongue 
 with any man.” 
 
 “Yes, yes,” says old Nick-and-Froth sooth- 
 ingly. “Indeed, sir, ’tis so. You are a very 
 discreet gentleman, I’ll warrant, and a brave 
 149 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 one, too ; ” and the two regarded me with fresh 
 esteem and wonder. 
 
 But I was not disposed to juggle away the 
 afternoon in the society of a pair of sobersides, 
 and, truth to say, I know not what put me in 
 the humour to fool them so, unless ’twas the 
 wine, which was excellent, and for which they 
 deserved some return. But already I was 
 regretting my piece of sport. Not that I cared 
 two pinches for the simpletons ; but ’tis a wise 
 tongue that keeps the habit of silence. So 
 making them my devours, which on their part 
 were very respectful, I left the tavern and rode 
 back to our tryst at the “ Joiners’ Arms ” in the 
 little village of Lewisham. There I found 
 Creech in a black mood, but Zacchary bubbling 
 with excitement. 
 
 “We’re on a lunatic job, and we’re a pack of 
 fools ; that’s what we are,” says Creech with an 
 oath. And with that I knew that he, too, had 
 been talking with Old Irons. 
 
 “Well,” said I, “’twas you put us on to it, 
 Dan, and why in God’s name do you change 
 your tune at this hour of night ? ” For it 
 150 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 angered me to see him whimpering and maybe 
 setting silly notions allow in the lad’s head. 
 
 But Zacchary, as it turned out, was game 
 enough. u Come out of that, Dan,” he says, 
 laughing. 44 Fetch out old Blood-Drinker, and 
 let’s see his temper. Stab us all, Dan, but 
 we’re more than the match of King James’s 
 scum.” 
 
 44 There’s sense,” says I, well enough pleased, 
 44 and there’s spirit, too; and the sooner you 
 come by your own again, the better for us all, 
 Dan.” * 
 
 “You’ll have your belly full soon enough, 
 young fellow,” says Dan, with a sneer, turning 
 on Zacchary. 44 ’Tis not the cock that crows 
 the loudest as uses his spurs best. And as for 
 you, Dick Ryder, you know I’m no white liver, 
 and I’ll trouble you to take back those words.” 
 
 44 Sink me, Danny, I’ll swallow ’em whole,” 
 said I, laughing, 44 if ’twill serve to set you in 
 your stirrups again.” But he looked very nasty, 
 and so I took him by the arm aside, and, 
 “Look’ee,” I says, 44 don’t go for to spoil the 
 spirit of Zacchary there. The boy’s willing : 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 and there’s stuff in him to stop a regiment. 
 And here’s the moral of it. Why, an’ so be 
 we have been damned fools enough to rattle 
 the dice for Timothy Grubbe, why we’re fools, 
 and there’s no more to say. But what’s gone 
 is gone, and to curl up with the mullygrubs be- 
 cause the milk is a trifle sour, is neither to your 
 credit nor to mine. And that’s plain,” I says. 
 
 He grumbled a little further, but seeing that 
 he was coming round, I said no more ; but 
 that young bantam Zacchary, who was well 
 primed with drink, must needs put out his 
 j erks. 
 
 u Let me rot for a corpse,” he says, clinking 
 his glass, a but I’d think shame to turn pale 
 afore a small j ob like this, more especially after 
 twenty years’ service. ’Tis not my notion of 
 business,” says he, looking very scornfully at 
 Creech. 
 
 But I saw that Dan was scowling, and the 
 lad was getting over-ripe with liquor, so I broke 
 in roughly. “Hold up there, you young slip- 
 string,” I said, “ and let less go in and less come 
 out at your mouth.” 
 
 52 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 “ Damme, Dick Ryder,” says Zacchary, 
 jumping to his feet. “I won’t take no such 
 terms from you, for all the fellow you think 
 yourself. No, nor from a cold liver, like 
 Creech,” he cries, returning again to Dan. 
 
 “ Sit down, you fool,” I said sharply. But 
 Creech was on his legs too, and had his fingers 
 on his pistol, and there was like to be trouble 
 on my hands. I took Zacchary by the collar 
 and threw him back into his chair, where he 
 lay struggling with me. 
 
 Creech was furious. “ I’ll cut the heart out 
 of you,” says he. “You muck- worm, you! 
 
 I’ll slit your gizzard, you .” But this was 
 
 more than I could endure, for Zacchary was 
 struggling to be at Creech, and Creech was 
 reaching round me to fall on Zacchary ; and 
 all because the one chose to take a fit of 
 temper, and the other had filled his jacket 
 tighter than was good for him. 
 
 “ Curse you, Dan,” I said, “ I’m no watchdog 
 to keep two fools from each other’s throat. 
 Drop that pistol,” I says, “ and shake yourself 
 together, while I muzzle this bloody-minded 
 153 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 young rogue.” Creech muttered, but let fall 
 his hand, and I pinioned Zacchary with my 
 arms. u By Gad,” I said, u but I’ve a mind to 
 open that ugly sconce of yours. The Bedla- 
 mite I was to have bestowed a kindness on a 
 numskull that does not know how to behave 
 before his betters! And this your first job of 
 any account, too ! ” That seemed to sober him, 
 for he stopped struggling and swearing filthy 
 oaths, and sat sullen in his chair. 
 
 When we took the toby, hard upon nine 
 o’clock, the pair were still very surly. But 
 Zacchary’s spirits rose presently, for he was but 
 a raw hand with the temper of a boy, and the 
 prospect of the fight scattered his ill-humour. 
 He said little, but whistled busily, forging 
 ahead of us, as though impatient to be over 
 the hill. Creech too was pretty mute, save 
 now and then for an oath which he spat at 
 his nag when it stumbled in a rabbit-hole. But 
 when he had got to the crest of the hill, and 
 looked down upon the open stretch of land 
 beyond, he pulled in, and says he, with another 
 oath, “ There’s a moon out.” 
 
 154 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 “ The better for us to pick ’em off, Dan,” I 
 returned, laughing at him. 
 
 “ What — Oliver ? damn Oliver ! ” # said 
 Zacchary. “ Let’s push forward and come to 
 quarters.” 
 
 “Softly, my young cockerel,” I said, “and 
 where the mischief d’ye suppose you’ll be find- 
 ing your game by this ? ” 
 
 “ Oh,” says Creech, with a sneer, “ they’re 
 ahiding from Zacchary Mills, that’s what they 
 are. They’re all afraid of him and his barkers, 
 they are. They know his stomach for blood, 
 they do. We ain’t to do nothing, Dick Ryder, 
 but to set down upon our prats and see ’em put 
 up their hands and cry for mercy to this fire- 
 eater here.” 
 
 “Hold your tongue, Dan,” said I angrily, 
 for I could see Zacchary’s eyes gleaming. 
 “Wait till we are finished with the job, 
 and then, if you come out clear, you can 
 settle your jealousies together. I’ll not come 
 between you,” I says. “But there’s one road 
 
 * Note. — A facetious nickname for the moon: designed, it may 
 be, in a humour of compliment, to the Lord Protector. 
 
 155 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 before us now, and that’s what we must 
 follow.” 
 
 There was no further word until we had 
 rode down into the flat, and come up with the 
 spot on which I had pitched for the sally. The 
 road here was bordered upon the one side by 
 a tall hedge with a ditch, and upon t’other by 
 a strip of green marsh ; and a little below this 
 we took up our stand beneath a clump of elms 
 for rather more than half-an-hour. Zacchary 
 grew very restless, but Creech was stolid 
 enough by now, only turning an eye on the 
 moon from time to time and cursing her for a 
 spoil-sport. And I will admit that she was an 
 interference, for she was a full wheel, and the 
 road spread in a white light, twenty paces 
 before us, so clear that the shadows of the 
 trees lay in a dark wavering mesh along it. 
 But if a gentleman of the road must be 
 hindered by the impudent accidents of the 
 weather, he had best give up roaming and 
 settle down with empty pockets afore a 
 mercer’s counter. By-and-bye Zacchary bent 
 his ears to the ground. 
 
 156 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 “ They’re coming,” he says, and whipped 
 out his pistols with glee. Sure enough, I 
 could hear far away a rumbling noise, borne 
 down on the wind, which blew sharply from 
 the north-west. “ I’ll reckon to take two on 
 the first clash,” says he boastfully. 
 
 “Stand by there,” says I brusquely, “and 
 keep your bragging tongue quiet. What 
 would you be up to ? ” 
 
 “ Why,” says Zacchary, “ shan’t we march 
 up and cock our pistols at ’em ? ” 
 
 “Yes,” says I, “and a shot in the stomach 
 for us all ! You fall back, Zacchary Mills, 
 and leave these appointments to me. D’ye 
 think they will pull up for the likes of your 
 pretty face?” 
 
 “ What shall we do, then ? ” he asked 
 anxiously. 
 
 “You best just follow me,” I answered, 
 “and no word or stroke till I give the signal.” 
 
 And a little after that the coach drew into 
 sight away at the bend of the road. Where- 
 upon I wheeled round and, with Dan on my 
 left and Zacchary clinging close to my right, 
 157 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 cantered slowly up the highway to meet it. 
 It came swinging down at a merry pace, and 
 flashed out upon the open swamp into the 
 brilliant moonlight ; and j ust at that we put 
 heels to our nags, and rode forward at a hand- 
 gallop. The coach was as plain as if it had 
 been midday, and I could count the heads of 
 the four that sat on the box with the driver. 
 But from the speed at which we came up, they 
 could never have suspected our design. And 
 the first hint of the matter, as well as the first 
 words on the occasion, came from the coach- 
 man, who, seeing as we did not divide to let 
 him run through, shouted a warning at us. 
 But we took no notice. u Stand close,” says I 
 under my breath, and they both held in tight 
 till the flanks of our horses grazed and brushed 
 against each other. 
 
 And then someone rose suddenly upon the 
 box. u What the Devil ! ” he cried. u Where 
 are you coming, you drunken fools ? ” 
 
 Now, I know the way of drivers, and have 
 never met one who was not for saving his 
 horses an’ he could ; and sure enough, as I 
 158 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 had calculated, the coachman, seeing how we 
 still rode on abreast for him, suddenly, and 
 upon instinct, pulled his leaders across the road- 
 way out upon the green marsh. The swiftness 
 of this strategy, when they were in full speed, 
 threw the whole team into confusion, and they 
 pranced and came back upon their haunches, 
 backing the coach with a bump into a puddle 
 of water. But the movement came a second 
 too late for Creech, who, sweeping along on 
 my left, swerved out of line and ran his mare 
 full face upon the struggling prads. The 
 shock sent ’em all to the ground, and Creech in 
 the thick of the mellay. But I had no time to 
 spend upon him then, for at that moment I put 
 a shot in the coachman, lest he should do 
 further mischief, and the next second the 
 fusillade began. 
 
 The first thing I was aware of was a bullet 
 through the cuif on my wrist, but by this 
 Zacchary and I had been carried to the rear of 
 the coach, and were using our barkers pretty 
 freely. Zacchary knocked over a tall fellow 
 that was leaning over the top with a blunder- 
 159 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 buss, and ere his dangling corpse had time to 
 fall off the coach, I sent a bullet through his 
 neighbour. I heard, too, the crack of a piece 
 from the other side, and guessed that Danny 
 was at work. But the top was a bad place for 
 a siege, and the King’s men in their fury came 
 rattling down to the ground, shouting, and 
 priming their weapons as they came. The 
 first that landed came at me with a muzzle up, 
 and I, having no shot left for him, must needs 
 meet him with the cold iron, which was an ugly 
 case for me, if his excitement should leave him 
 any aim. But at that very moment down came 
 the clouds upon the moon, and the sky fell thick 
 with darkness. I had spurred Calypso to run 
 him down, and just as the blackness spread 
 there was the noise of his barker, and flop she 
 went upon her foreknees, rolling over in the 
 dust. My shoulder came with a smack upon 
 the road, but in a trice I was out of the saddle 
 and on my feet, and ere he could draw on me 
 had spitted him like a fowl. Suddenly, to my 
 surprise (for I thought she was done for) 
 Calypso got to her legs, and with a whinny 
 160 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 galloped down the road in a state of panic. 
 But this was no time for considerations of her, 
 and, in truth, I knew she would make for her 
 old stables ; so, gripping my tool, I rushed up to 
 where Zacchary was being hard pressed by three 
 stout fellows, who were hacking at him with 
 point and edge, and driving him step by step 
 into the ditch. As I sprang forward, it ran in 
 my head to wonder where the Devil was 
 Creech, for I had seen nothing of him since he 
 had fallen in the collision, and he might be food 
 for maggots by now. But there and then was 
 the wonder answered, and, indeed, I might have 
 guessed it sooner had I not been so occupied. 
 For there was some ten or so of the escort to 
 start with, and now but four remained, and of 
 the dead I could lay but two to my credit, 
 besides the coachman. Well, just as I pounced 
 on the nearest man that was swiping at Zacchary, 
 a shot rang out, and slap he goes upon his face, 
 wriggling a little. I turned at that, and there 
 was Dan, sure enough, the white light of the 
 moon, which shone forth again, striking on his 
 black face, right in the middle of the frightened 
 l 161 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 horses, and propping his pistol on the ribs of the 
 one that had fallen. 
 
 “ Bravo, Danny ! ” says I, and stuck my iron 
 through the ribs of Zacchary’s second opponent. 
 But thereupon, and while Zacchary was finishing 
 off the last of ’em, I heard a sound behind me 
 and felt something tingle in my side. Turning 
 about I came face to face with a sort of officer 
 man by the coach side, with a red cut across his 
 face, which maybe was some of my own handi- 
 work. The point had slipped through my 
 thigh, and had I not moved, would, doubtless, 
 have gone to my midriff. I turned mighty 
 dizzy of a sudden, and I remember that his face 
 went from me in a mist; I had, moreover, 
 a sickly sense of wobbling on my legs. But 
 by an effort of my mind I recall squaring 
 myself on them, and then, feeling still that 
 I was going, I lunged forward blindly. My 
 point took him somewhere, and he went back 
 upon his head under the wheels. I myself was 
 carried with a bang against the coach, and 
 leaned there, supporting myself vaguely for a 
 moment, until I grew conscious that it was 
 162 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 shifting. Then I drew off somehow, and 
 opened my eyes. It was the plunging of the 
 scared horses that was shaking the coach, and 
 as I looked my gaze fell stupidly upon the 
 fellow under the wheels, who was struggling to 
 rise in a feeble fashion. The horses backed 
 and jumped forward, and the wheel dragged 
 over his neck, and after that he stirred no 
 more. 
 
 Then it seemed to me that there was a long 
 pause. There was a cricket buzzing in my ears, 
 and a flock of sheep came dancing before my 
 eyes, lavolting up and down. But after a time 
 I looked about, and there was silence on the 
 night ; and then again someone came running 
 up against me, and I heard Zacchary’s voice, 
 crying in a jubilant tone, “ I ha’ killed three, 
 Dick,” says he, “I ha’ killed three,” slapping 
 me on the shoulder. 
 
 “ Damn you,” says I, “keep your hands off 
 me, you dung-fork,” and then I burst out 
 laughing. Zacchary’s face was pretty plain by 
 this time, and I saw him looking at me. 
 
 “ Ha’ they done you ? ” he says. 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 “ Where’s Creech ? ” says I ; but, Lord, I knew 
 where Creech would be, if he were alive ; and 
 there he was, for sure, rifling the pockets of the 
 escort. “Give me a hand,” says I to Zacchary, 
 “ there’s a bodkin through my kidneys.” 
 
 “We finished ’em off,” he cries. “I ha’ 
 killed three,” repeating the phrase in a silly 
 braggart way. 
 
 “You bloody-minded young tyger,” I says. 
 “What is it, who killed whom? Stand up 
 there, Dan,” I says, “ and let’s get to business.” 
 
 “ ’Twas my blade as done it all,” says 
 Zacchary in excitement. 
 
 “Keep your mouth, you young devil,” I said, 
 for I was fretted with my wound ; and I jerked 
 my elbow into his side for a reminder. Now, I 
 was leaning full heavy upon Zacchary’s shoulder, 
 and my face was turned to where Creech was 
 stooping among the corpses ; when all of an 
 instant the quiet was startled, and Zacchary, 
 loosening his hold on me, slipped to the earth 
 with a groan. I fell with his body, which 
 quivered under me, but pulling myself up 
 quickly stared at Creech. 
 
 * 164 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 “What the Hell is this?” said I. 
 
 Creech met my eyes in bewilderment. 
 “There’s no one left,” he says, in a low 
 voice. 
 
 “Where did that come from?” said I. And 
 just then by way of answer came another crack, 
 and a bullet passed Creech’s nose. 
 
 “ My God ! ” says he, and whisked about. 
 There was the pause of an instant, and a third 
 report sounded, and Creech staggered, and then 
 began to run with a shambling, tottering gait 
 away upon the London road. But I stood 
 staring. And suddenly out of the coach a 
 black figure jumped hastily, and running round 
 to the front, cut loose the dead nag, and 
 clambered upon the box. 
 
 “Hell!” said I, and forthwith made for the 
 coach as fast as my shaking legs would let me. 
 The man had gotten the reins in his hand when 
 I reached it ; and I had just time to fling 
 myself at a strap on the rumble, when the team 
 plunged and reared under the whip, and the 
 wheels turning slowly, the coach rolled on 
 sideways for a few paces, and then lumbering 
 
 i6 5 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 upon the hard road, broke into a canter towards 
 Chatham. 
 
 Dangling from the leathern strap, I was 
 bumped from point to point along the way, 
 which was like to be bad for my wound, as I 
 soon discovered from the growing pain in my 
 groin, and a further seizure of faintness. And 
 yet it passed my wits how I was to struggle up 
 to the body of the coach, with it in motion and 
 my strength running out on a tide. But as the 
 job was fairly set for me, I was not the poltroon 
 to give in without a wrestle, and so very slowly 
 and very feebly I hauled myself up, till my legs 
 drew off the ground, and my hands clutched the 
 railing of the seat. By good luck my wrists 
 held, and though I felt the muscles shaking like 
 jelly in my arms, I pulled myself higher still, 
 until at last my nose rose over the level of my 
 knuckles. And there I hung suspended for a 
 time, with very quick breath, and a deathly 
 sickness in my belly. But I was not yet in 
 extremity, despite the ugly circumstances, and 
 gathering my spirits for a final essay, I flung 
 myself as it were forward into the air with a 
 1 66 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 kick, and came down with my breast upon the 
 iron rails and the rest of me stuck out over the 
 road. After that it was a small matter by 
 comparison to wriggle across the seat on to the 
 coach-top, and here for full five minutes I lay 
 sweating like a horse, and with the trees and 
 old Oliver and the whole environing landscape 
 rushing round and swaying in my head. But 
 when I picked up my senses, I settled down 
 pretty comfortable in the seat, and began to 
 look about me and consider. The first thing I 
 set eyes upon was the dark figure on the box, 
 bent over the horses, and though I could make 
 out very little, for the moon was soon in jail 
 again, the turn of his back seemed somehow 
 familiar. 
 
 But now, when I had time to reflect, it 
 appeared to me that I had run my neck 
 into a damned foolish business. For here 
 was the stage, with all the bloody marks 
 of battle on it, and one dead body at least, 
 as I could perceive, rolling about on top — 
 here was the coach, I say, running straight 
 for Dartford, with me seated there, like a 
 167 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 lamb, for a turn to Tyburn. Just as these 
 considerations turned sharply in my mind, and 
 I was vaguely revolving the chance of an escape 
 from the quandary I had run into with so much 
 pains, the man on the box pulled up, and we 
 came to a stop abreast of a patch of wood. 
 The dead fellow that was jumping about on 
 the roof settled down quietly at that, and I 
 had but time to follow his example and lie flat 
 between the seats as the moon shone forth 
 once more, when the man skipped down lightly 
 from his perch and, coming round the coach, 
 opened the door. This tickled my curiosity, 
 and by edging myself along I could thrust my 
 nose over the roof and observe his movements. 
 Then it was for the first time that the full 
 design of this abominable plot was revealed to 
 me ; for the moonlight struck clear upon his 
 face, and it was the face of the wrynecked 
 scoundrel, Timothy Grubbe. I had well-nigh 
 screamed out in my rage to discover his double 
 perfidy, but I kept the oaths under and watched 
 him closely. He scrambled into the coach, and 
 reappeared next instant, carrying in his arms 
 1 68 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 a heavy keg, under the burthen of which he 
 staggered across the road into the brushwood. 
 As soon as this was dispatched he returns and 
 fetches me out a second, which he proceeds to 
 hide in the same way ; and he repeats the 
 performance till the coach is empty ! By this 
 it was plain that the vile rogue was concealing 
 the King’s treasure, and I could ha’ ripped the 
 vitals out of him, and would ha’ done it then 
 and there, but that I was without a weapon of 
 any kind, and my wound would barely suffer 
 me to sit up, let alone engage with a sound 
 man like him. But when he had mounted the 
 box again and drove off, no doubt in high glee, 
 I’ll take oath, weapon or no weapon, that I 
 would have climbed over the roof and choked 
 him from behind if I had had the free use of 
 my limbs. Old Irons was right, and to be 
 mixed up with a stinkard like that was a piece 
 of folly for a boy. Why, it was for us dolts 
 to settle the escort, while he sat comfortable in 
 his hole, and never so much as showing a face 
 in the fight ! And when that was done, it was 
 a pistol through the window for Zacchary and 
 169 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 Creech and me, and the King’s pictures all for 
 him ! This discovery sent me into a black 
 choler, in which I would hear no suggestions 
 of prudence for my own safety. I swore I 
 would be even with him, if only for the blood 
 of Zacchary. But the Devil of it was that 
 here was I being driven into Dartford with 
 never a word to say for myself. ’Twas true, 
 he was in ignorance that I sat behind him, and 
 this set me thinking, so that presently, what 
 between wrath and the cordial inwards of a 
 silver pocket vial I carried, I had contrived a 
 manoeuvre to pursue when we reached the 
 town. ’Twas hazardous, but, the Lord 
 knows, I was less like to care for hazards 
 at that moment than ever in my life. 
 
 And in this wise we rattled into Dartford, 
 each of us, I daresay, encumbered with strong 
 emotions. Timothy Grubbe drew up before 
 an inn, and descending from the box rapped 
 loudly at the door. But as for me I took no 
 heed of him after that, for letting myself in a 
 gingerly way to the ground upon the other 
 side I shambled miserably off into the night. 
 
 170 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 By good fortune that same afternoon I had 
 remarked the office of the Justice, and thither 
 I now made my way with my best speed. I 
 could not forbear a grin to myself to think of 
 me on an enterprise like this, to confront a 
 Justice in his own house. ’Twas pitch and toss 
 at the best, I knew, but I would have the heart 
 out of Timothy Grubbe somehow. So when I 
 was got unto the Justice’s door I knocked 
 smartly for admittance, and presently you might 
 ha’ seen me hob-anobbing with his worship, 
 him all eyes and mouth, listening to my tale. 
 
 “ How many was there, did you say ? ” says 
 he. 
 
 “There was six of ’em,” I replied, “and 
 bloody butchers all, as this rip in my side 
 will witness.” 
 
 “ Poor fellow ! ” says the Justice kindly, 
 “ pour yourself another glass ; ” and looks at 
 me out of his mild eyes with interest. “ But 
 you secured one scoundrel,” he says. 
 
 “ Secured,” says I, “ yes ; and that’s the fact. 
 Left for dead I was, as I’m telling you, and 
 him standing over the poor dead bodies to 
 
 171 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 filch ’em of their purses, when down comes 
 my pistol-butt on his head.” 
 
 “You’re a lad of mettle,” says he approv- 
 ingly, u and this ruffian is safely bestowed in 
 the coach ? ” 
 
 “Well,” says I, “and that’s where he was; 
 but, as your worship will perceive, I am all of 
 a daze, and maybe the villain will escape his 
 bonds, if so be your worship will not lay hands 
 on him forthright.” 
 
 “Ay, that I will,” said he, “we’ll despatch 
 
 the rogue ; ” and, rising from his chair, he 
 
 summoned his men. But at that instant there 
 came a noisy clatter on the door, and the 
 
 Justice stared at me. “ Why, who is this at 
 such a time ? ” he asked. 
 
 I knew well enough who it was, for Timothy 
 Grubbe was not the man to leave himself 
 touched with suspicions, and I had already 
 
 fathomed his cunning purpose ; which, indeed, 
 was why I had forestalled him. His worship 
 went to the door, and presently I heard voices 
 in the hall, the one of which I distinguished 
 easily enough. And after a little, as I sat 
 172 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 sipping my wine, the Justice came back, in a 
 rare perplexity of spirits and mind. 
 
 “ Why, what is this ? ” he says. “ Here is 
 a fellow that brings a tale as like your own as 
 may be, save that ’tis he is the hero.” 
 
 I started, and regarded him in an amaze. 
 “ Why,” says I, “ all was killed but me and 
 the prisoner, and that I’ll swear.” We stared 
 at each other. “ What like of a man ? ” I 
 asked, in a low voice. 
 
 “Why, a small fellow,” says he, “with his 
 head to one side.” 
 
 “ My God ! ” I cried, feigning an excite- 
 ment ; “ take him, your worship ! ’Tis he, 
 don’t let him escape.” 
 
 “ Why, what’s amiss ? ” he says, surprised. 
 
 “ ’Tis the man himself,” I said. 
 
 “Your prisoner?” he asked. I nodded. 
 “ O my Lord,” says the Justice, rubbing his 
 hands, “ this is fine news. He has given him- 
 self into our hands. You shall see him, you 
 shall face him, and identify him ; ” and he 
 chuckled. I chuckled, too. 
 
 “Why, yes,” I says, “I’ll warrant I’ll face 
 173 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 him.” With that, out pops the Justice, and 
 soon after comes me in again with Timothy 
 Grubbe, sure enough, on his heels. 
 
 “ Perhaps,” says he, “ you will repeat your 
 statement afore this gentleman.” 
 
 I could scarce keep from roaring with 
 laughter, to see Timothy’s white face chapfall 
 so suddenly at me sitting there confidential. 
 
 “ Yes, that is the fellow,” I said ; “ I’d know 
 him among a hundred by his ugly neck.” 
 
 “ Do you know who he is ? ” asked the 
 Justice. 
 
 “Well,” said I dubiously, “as like as not, he 
 would be that same black ruffian, Dick Ryder.” 
 “I’ve heard of him, I’ve heard of him,” says 
 the Justice, rubbing his hands again. 
 
 But Timothy Grubbe was no fool, as I knew 
 very well, and though he had started at the 
 first, and had worn a frown of embarrassment 
 upon his face throughout this colloquy, he was 
 contained enough now when he addressed his 
 worship. 
 
 “ Mr Justice,” says he sharply, “ I have no 
 notion what sort of figure you play in this 
 174 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 farce, but, whatever it be, I must interfere 
 with your amusement for a moment, and ask 
 you to arrest this man in the King’s name.” 
 
 His worship stared, and then laughed a little. 
 “ O ! ” says he, “ that’s it, is it ? ” 
 
 Grubbe turned on him. “This man,” he 
 said, speaking in his harshest voice, “ though 
 the Devil, his father, knows how he comes 
 here, was the chief of the gang that attacked 
 and robbed the stage, as I have informed you.” 
 He said it so firmly, and with such an ap- 
 pearance of authority, that his worship looked 
 staggered, and said nothing. It was time for 
 me to put in my famble, if I was to keep my 
 post ; and “ Ah ! ” says I, very sarcastic, “ and 
 ’tis a brave bold tongue you ply for a common 
 cut-throat. You have it all pat, as one would 
 say. And perhaps you could swear to ’em all 
 in a court of justice ? No one better ! And 
 I suppose, my fine fellow, ’tis me that’s this 
 same Dick Ryder, and ’tis you as had charge 
 of His Majesty’s treasure.” 
 
 Timothy Grubbe looked at me, with lowered 
 brows, out of his little red eyes. “I don’t 
 175 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 know what name you put on yourself,” he said 
 in his rasping voice. “ I have no such intimate 
 acquaintance with gentlemen of the road. But 
 I do know that I shall have you clapped in prison 
 ere an hour. But why do you delay ? ” says 
 he, addressing the Justice imperiously. “ I 
 have already asked you to place this fellow 
 under arrest.” 
 
 His worship was very much disturbed. 
 “Softly, softly,” he says, taking a pinch of 
 snuff absently. “How am I to judge between 
 you ? ” 
 
 “ Judge,” says Timothy with a sneer. “ I 
 warrant His Majesty will have a word to say 
 upon judges when the news of this goose-work 
 reaches his ears.” 
 
 The Justice turned red. “ Why ,” he 
 
 stammered, and looked at Grubbe with doubt. 
 
 “ Mr Justice,” I cut in, for I could see the 
 case was turning against me, “I ask you to 
 seize this man on a charge of highway robbery 
 and murder.” 
 
 Grubbe gave me an ugly smile, as though 
 he had gotten the best of me now, and I will 
 176 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 admit that I was a little dashed myself. “ But 
 there is no evidence,” says his worship, frown- 
 ing. “ There is none to speak to the truth 
 of either.” 
 
 And at that word I took a notion that sent 
 the blood spinning in my veins and brought me 
 to my feet very solemn and certain. I have 
 always come out of difficulties upon the proper 
 side, in some degree by the favour of fortune, 
 but the more, I take it, thanks to my own 
 ingenious wit. And here was the chance to 
 turn to account an idle humour, which I had 
 till now regarded more as a piece of reckless 
 folly. 
 
 “ As to that,” says I slowly, “ there’s plenty 
 to speak to my identity, but it is an ill hour 
 to fetch ’em from Town.” Timothy Grubbe 
 grinned. “ Yet I am loth to keep your worship 
 in suspense,” I says, “and myself under so 
 foolish a suspicion, and, faith, we’ll e’en put 
 up with a witness or two in Dartford, an’ it 
 like your worship.” 
 
 Timothy shot a sharp glance at me, and the 
 Justice gave a sigh of relief. “Come,” says 
 m 177 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 he more cheerfully, “ that is well ; and we’ll 
 take the witnesses at once.” 
 
 “Indeed,” says I, with my eyes on Grubbe, 
 u if your worship will but fetch ’em out of bed, 
 there’s an honest chandler by the name of 
 Tyrwhitt, of this town, and the host of the 
 c Pigeons,’ that knows what my business was 
 this day.” 
 
 “Tyrwhitt!” says the Justice. “Yes, I 
 know him — a worthy fellow. We’ll have ’em 
 both ; ” and, opening the door briskly, he gave 
 an order to his men. 
 
 Timothy scowled, and scratched his chin, 
 with his evil eyes upon me, who sat down 
 again, indifferent, and finished my wine. But 
 Timothy said nothing, nor indeed did anything 
 further pass between us three until the return 
 of the messengers, when there was a rap on the 
 door, and the Justice stepped across. 
 
 “ Come in, Tyrwhitt,” he says ; “ come in, 
 my good man.” 
 
 When the fat chandler was got in, and ere 
 the Justice could say another word, he served 
 my purpose better than I could have foreseen. 
 i 7 s 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 For he gazed about in a stupid, sleepy fashion, 
 looked vacantly on Grubbe, and then, his eyes 
 dropping on me, he blinked and gave a cry. 
 
 “ Well, sir,” says the Justice, “do you know 
 this man ? ” 
 
 “ Why, yes,” says the fat chandler, brighten- 
 ing up, “ ’tis the gentleman as had charge of 
 His Majesty’s gold to take to Chatham.” 
 
 Grubbe started aback, and made as though to 
 speak, but was silent. “ Ha ! ” says the Justice. 
 “Now it seems we are getting upon the scent.” 
 And thereupon he called in the landlord of the 
 “ Pigeons,” who entered in some trepidation. 
 “ Do you know this man ? ” asked the Justice, 
 now very stiff and formal. 
 
 Old Nick-and-Froth looked at Grubbe and 
 shook his head, and then, with a glance at me, 
 said in a public whisper to his worship, “ ’Tis an 
 officer of His Majesty’s, upon a secret service,” 
 and nodded mysteriously. 
 
 “ Oho ! ” said his worship with a smile. 
 “Faith, I think we have it now,” and he 
 regarded Timothy sternly. “I think,” he says, 
 “my good highwayman, that the little-ease in 
 
 1 79 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 Dartford Compter is the place for you,” and 
 chuckled as if he had made a jest. But Timothy 
 said nothing, shifting his small eyes from one to 
 another viciously. 
 
 “ What ! ” says the innkeeper, “ is this a 
 highwayman ? ” and retreated a step. 
 
 The Justice nodded in good humour. “ But 
 he won’t be one much longer, I fear me,” he 
 says. 
 
 “Faith, ’twas a matter I know much about,” 
 says the fat chandler complacently, “ for me and 
 this gentleman discussed it over our wine.” 
 
 “Ah!” says the Justice with an approving 
 glance at me, “ a fine tall fellow that, Tyrwhitt, 
 whom I commend to your kind hospitality for 
 his wound’s sake.” 
 
 “ O, I shall be well enough, your worship,” 
 said I, getting on my feet, “ and I will e’en take 
 the generous offer of my friend here for a 
 bandage and another glass.” 
 
 “And welcome,” says the chandler, very 
 warmly. 
 
 All the time Timothy Grubbe said nothing, 
 only looking at me with a scowling smile. He 
 180 
 
Of the King’s Treasure 
 
 was a reptile of parts and spirits, was Timothy, 
 and no doubt he saw there was nothing more to 
 be said that bout. So he held his tongue ; he 
 never was one to waste his time, was Grubbe. 
 
 But I was not going to part like that. I 
 would have an oath out of him somehow. 
 
 u ’Tis a pity,” I said, turning to go, u that the 
 rogues got away with the gold.” 
 u Ay, ’tis a pity,” said the Justice. 
 u I wish,” says I, “ that I knew where 
 ’twas hid — in some patch of wood, maybe.” 
 The Justice nodded, but Timothy looked up 
 suddenly, a flash of intelligence lit his eyes, and 
 he ground his teeth fiercely and muttered, giving 
 me a bloody look. I could not refrain from 
 laughing at that. “Well,” says I, u ’tis a 
 comfort to know that one rogue at least will 
 take no share in the plunder.” The Justice 
 laughed too, and they all laughed ; and upon 
 that I got out of the house, roaring with 
 laughter. For I had left Timothy with that 
 news to spend a very discomfortable night. 
 
 But as for me, I was in high feather, 
 and after patching up my wound, which the 
 1 8 1 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 chandlers good lady tended, and narrating a 
 string of adventures over a steaming bowl, I 
 crept out of the house when all were abed, and, 
 mounting a nag which I found in the stables, 
 rode without more ado to the little piece of 
 wood in which the gold was hid. I distributed 
 as much as I could carry in packages about my 
 saddle, and having dissembled the rest against a 
 later opportunity, I set out in good spirits ; 
 reaching Maidstone early the next day, where I 
 remained in quarters for a week, or may be 
 more. 
 
 182 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug, and of 
 how the Prisoner- Ordinary and 
 I drank Wine together 
 
Chapter V 
 
 Of my Incarceration in the Jug, and or 
 how the Prisoner -Ordinary and 
 I drank Wine together 
 
 ’Twas on the third day of November, in the 
 year 1687, His Majesty’s Assizes being then 
 in full session, that I was first clapped into the 
 Jug. Timothy Grubbe it was that managed 
 it, and a dirtier trick never stood to his account. 
 For I had rode up that morning from Uxbridge, 
 after an absence of three months from Town, 
 and no sooner am I arrived than the news 
 reaches me through a crimping-master of my 
 acquaintance at the “Bull’s Head,” that the 
 traps had their paws on Polly Scarlett, she lying 
 ill in the Ratcliffe Highway. There was never 
 a tenterhook alive durst put his nose inside 
 the u Bull’s Head,” where the company was too 
 hot for a regiment of dragoons ; and so they 
 must needs find this way to fetch me forth. 
 
 185 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 The report was no Jack o’Lanthorn, neither, for 
 Timothy, as I discovered, had put the beagles 
 upon her that very day, upon the news com- 
 municated by his spies that I was come to Town. 
 The Law has no queasy stomach, and will 
 undertake a scurvy job with any; but indeed 
 there was no suspicion upon Polly, and the 
 charge upon which they took her was, if you 
 please, the possession of certain gold guineas 
 with His Majesty’s viznomy upon them. These, 
 they would make out, were a parcel of the 
 King’s treasure, the which I had snatched 
 out of Timothy’s own fingers by Dartford. 
 I knew it was odds but the message was a 
 snare for my feet, for all that I questioned 
 the crimp so closely ; but then, I was not for 
 letting the risque hang over Polly. It made me 
 mad to think upon her in Timothy’s hands, with 
 his pink eyes a-cocking at her. I was not to be 
 averted by such scum, whether it was my cap- 
 ture that was plotted or no ; and that very even- 
 ing, after the fall of dusk, I set forth on foot 
 for the RatclifFe Highway, counterfeited for a 
 sailor, with a stout hanger at my thigh. 
 
 1 86 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 When I reached the house it was pitch black, 
 and a light shone forth only from an upper 
 window. Sure enough, there was an officer 
 ostentatiously set upon the doorstep, and keep- 
 ing a sharp watch. I knew that I was like to 
 get little by strategy out of Grubbe ; it was in 
 a bold front my only hopes lay ; and so up I 
 marched with a rolling gait, and, says I, feign- 
 ing a drunken hiccough, “What’s agog?” I 
 says, u and upon whose door are you sticking 
 out your elbows ? ” 
 
 The trap gave me a glance, and seeing as I 
 made for the door, pushed me off with his arm. 
 “ The Law is in charge here,” he says shortly. 
 
 u Law ! ” says I, with a stupid stare. 
 “Law!” and I fell to laughing. “Damn 
 me, what’s the old Antick atwixt Jenny Rum- 
 bold and me ? ” for that I knew was the name of 
 a piece in the house. 
 
 He observed me from head to foot, without 
 ever a suspicion. “ Get you gone,” says he, 
 contemptuously ; “ there’s no kixsy-winsy for 
 you here.” 
 
 “ Damme,” says I, with another hiccough, 
 
 187 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 and fingering for my hanger, “ but I’m in the 
 mind to carve your face after a private pattern 
 of my own.” He closed with me, but, getting 
 a clutch upon his waist, I threw him, and fell 
 to battering on the door with the hilt of my 
 weapon, shouting the while as one full of drink. 
 That brought some one from the inside, and in 
 another moment I was in the grip of a sturdy 
 fellow on the doorstep, with my other friend 
 handling me freely from behind. 
 
 u What the Devil’s this ? ” said the newcomer. 
 u Is this our man, Cockerel?” 
 
 “No,” says t’other, puffing for breath; “ ’tis 
 a scurvy tarpaulin with a libidinous body full of 
 liquor.” 
 
 “ And that’s true,” says I, lurching against 
 ’em, and nodding my head with a foolish smile ; 
 and with that I called “ Jenny ” at the top of 
 my voice, in a most endearing manner. 
 
 “ Bah ! ” said the big officer, who seemed 
 to be in a superior position, “ push the drunken 
 fool out.” 
 
 “No,” says I, “push the drunken fool in, 
 young fellow.” 
 
 1 88 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 The catch-polls broke out laughing, seeming 
 to be touched by the humour of my rejoinder, 
 and one of ’em gives me a shove that despatched 
 me reeling against the stairway in right earnest. 
 But picking myself up I started a fol-de-rol in a 
 quavering voice, and staggered noisily up the 
 stairs. And all would have gone well, but just 
 as I had gotten to the landing, who should 
 come out of Polly’s room but the arch-janizary 
 himself ; who no sooner had set eyes on me 
 than he uttered a thin cackle, and blew a shrill 
 whistle through his teeth. To say the truth, I 
 took longer to recognise him in the gloom than 
 he me, or I should have spoiled that game for 
 him ; but after that it was too late, and turning 
 I leaped down the stairs. 
 
 “Seize him!” yelled Grubbe. “Take 
 him ! ” he clamoured ; and the traps met me at 
 the bottom. I laid one low with my hanger, 
 and I let a hole through a second, seeing which, 
 the third drew off. 
 
 “ Curse you for a pack of curs,” screeched 
 Grubbe, and came tumbling down the stairs 
 upon me behind. He had no weapon, but the 
 189 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 force of his weight dismissed me sprawling, 
 and ere I could pull myself up, there was 
 three of ’em sitting upon my body. 
 
 So there was the curtain down upon that 
 part of the play, and the Jug for me, sure 
 enough. But I should not ha’ minded so much 
 had it not been for Grubbe, who came about 
 me discharging his jests with an air of affec- 
 tionate condolence. It was u Poor Dick! 
 And that you should have come to this after 
 all Timothy’s warnings ! ” And it was, u Ah, 
 Dick, the Lord abideth His time to avenge 
 Himself on evil-doers.” And then he would 
 turn to his bum-bailies — (Damn them !) — and 
 beg them to take care of me, for that I was a 
 fastidious young gentleman of tender nurture, 
 whom His Majesty destined to high promotion. 
 But I said never a word in answer, and kept 
 my lips tight until they had delivered me in 
 Newgate. I was not going to let Timothy 
 Grubbe raise a sound out of me. 
 
 There was sorry company in the Jug, but 
 I could have ordered things tolerably, for it 
 held a cracksman or two I knew pretty well 
 190 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 by sight ; only the next trick the knave played 
 on me was to have me laid in irons and disposed 
 in a solitary cell. It was declared that I was 
 a desperate fellow, and the dubsman told me 
 with a grin that he had long hoped for the 
 pleasure of my fellowship, and had kept 
 his best set against my coming. I dare say 
 this was true enough, for there were few parts 
 of the country but I was as well known as the 
 King himself. Moreover, those that enjoyed 
 the liberties of the Jug would have spread my 
 name ; to witness which, it was a brave recep- 
 tion I got upon my entrance. But to be 
 chained within a lonely chamber, without ever 
 the chance of a diversion, went against my 
 stomach. And the place was foul to boot, 
 and full of rats. 
 
 Here I lay for some time, until my case was 
 heard at the Assizes. Now, Grubbe was a 
 cunning devil, and I knew that ’twas not of the 
 Chatham coach I should hear, seeing that was 
 too delicate a business upon which to hazard 
 his own reputation. But there was plenty 
 against me without that, and first of all up 
 
 191 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 comes the affair at Petersfield, with which 
 Grubbe was well acquainted. And as if that 
 were not enough, they had furbished up a 
 paltry business on Hampstead Heath, in the 
 which I was under the necessity to quiet a 
 noisy fellow with my barker. This, it turns 
 out, if you please, was no less a personage 
 than a Sheriff of the City. And after that 
 the document wound up with the officer that 
 I had cut down in the Highway ; as if the 
 killing of a catchpoll, good Lord, made any 
 difference among respectable people ! Still, 
 though the one case was black against me, 
 and Grubbe, no doubt, had ample private 
 particulars of the others, I must face my 
 position with the best phiz possible. So I 
 laid hold of a gentleman of the law to speak 
 in my defence. He was a man in repute for 
 a mighty clever fellow, and had had much 
 practice at the Assizes these many years. In 
 his earlier days he had had sharp work under 
 Old Noll, and of late he had been with Bloody 
 Jeffreys in the West. He was a grasping, 
 watery-livered creature, with his fee ever in 
 192 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 the tail of his eye ; but that was no bar to 
 me, seeing I was just then very comfortable in 
 pocket; and so I bought him with a bag of 
 goldfinches, and sent him off with his pockets 
 bulging with king’s pictures, to digest at his 
 leisure. I knew it was a bad case for me, and 
 that fact was plainer upon the morning of the 
 trial, when I was fetched into Court atween 
 two turnkeys, and with the darbies still upon 
 my wrist. It seems that they were in a taking 
 lest even then Dick Ryder should spread his 
 wings ! When I was brought in and looked 
 about me, there was the Judge regarding me 
 sourly from his bench, and hobanobbing with 
 him stood a tall, fat-bellied man, with a white 
 wig and a very scarlet face. This was the 
 cully as was to talk me up the ladder. And 
 with the sight of them laughing together I 
 knew ’twas odds but I should get no fair play 
 that day. But I was not to hoist the white 
 feather on that account, and so I j ust wagged 
 my head to my man to begin. But instead, 
 up jumps Pot-belly, and starts upon a tedious 
 harangue, motioning at me with his fingers 
 n 193 
 

 Galloping Dick 
 
 and bowing to the Judge, raising his eyes to 
 the ceiling, and gesticulating like the gross 
 ape he was. I paid little heed myself, being 
 long past patience after the first ten minutes ; 
 but presently out pops some one from the 
 crowd, and ere I knew it, was swearing away 
 as to what I had done here, and what coat I 
 wore, and how his arm was a-bleeding, with 
 other matter of the sort. 
 
 “’Twas a bloody deed, my Lord,” says he, 
 and looks at me fearfully. 
 
 I knew the oaf now for the rascal of the 
 gentleman I had run through at Petersfield. 
 It was a flagrant piece of foolishness, for 
 sure, was that Petersfield job: in broad day- 
 light too, and within a mile of the town ! 
 
 “ Do you recognise him ? ” asks his Lord- 
 ship. 
 
 “Yes, my Lord,” says the fellow. 
 
 “You are sure?” says his Lordship: “look 
 at him.” 
 
 The coachman turned a frightened glance 
 upon me, for he was in a rare panic, and 
 I shot him a black look full of menace. 
 
 194 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 Whether it was that, or that his wits were 
 out, I know not, but says he, “No,” says 
 he. 
 
 u Come, come,” said his Lordship, with a 
 frown, “you shall not blow hot and cold in 
 this fashion. Is that the man ? ” 
 
 Whereupon the craven, who was all a-sweat 
 with terror, lost the hold upon his tongue, 
 and stammered and stuttered and blinked, 
 and finally appealed to the Judge to spare 
 him, and to the Almighty to have mercy on 
 him, for that what he said was the truth, the 
 whole truth, and nothing but the truth. 
 
 u Pah ! take the fellow down,” says his 
 Lordship. u Call another witness.” 
 
 But if, so far, the fact was in my favour, I 
 was not to get off so easily upon other scores ; 
 and the chief business of all was the appearance 
 of the Sheriff I had wounded. The old mawkin 
 had a voice like a parrot, harsh and high, and 
 delivered his evidence all in one shrill squeak. 
 I will confess that what he said was true 
 enough, and went badly against me ; so much 
 so that I chafed to myself that I had not stuck 
 
 *95 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 him, while I was about it. After that I knew 
 it was all over with me, unless my little lawyer 
 could serve. He had sat very still, making 
 notes upon his papers industriously, and asking 
 a question or so pretty sharply at times. And 
 indeed, it was ludicrous to see the pair of ’em, 
 for he, like t’other, was fat, only small, and 
 bald under his wig ; and the two kept jumping 
 up and down opposite one another, as if ’twas 
 a game of see-saw. But by degrees his face 
 began to lengthen and he shook his head over 
 his shoulder to some one behind ; and at that, 
 and seeing the case gathering against me, I 
 slipped my temper, for he had done little 
 enough for his money. 
 
 So, “ Damn you,” I bawled to him, u speak 
 up, you little beer-keg, you ! ” At which he 
 went scarlet, and there was a laugh in the 
 Court. But the Judge scowled, and I was 
 hustled by the turnkeys. 
 
 And then, when at last it fell to him to 
 speak, a mighty poor figure he made. He 
 ranted like a Roundhead. If you were to 
 believe him, I was a low-spirited cur enough, 
 196 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 that had no thought but to keep his mother in 
 bread and his wife in garters. ’Twas a marvel 
 that he did not attach half a score of gaping 
 brats upon me. According to him I was a half- 
 starved sort of snip, as took my meals in a 
 boiling-house, and was as regular for church 
 as a girl in her teens. He pursued these silly 
 lies so long and with such satisfaction that I 
 could endure him no further. 
 
 “Gag that fat fool,” says I, u for an’ the 
 topsman must have me he may have me and 
 welcome, but I’ll meet him after my own 
 fashion, and not with the character of a 
 poltroon.” 
 
 There was little more to be said after that. 
 And soon the Judge got to his feet, and says 
 he : “ Prisoner at the bar, have you any reason 
 to urge why I should not pass sentence upon 
 you ? ” 
 
 “ My lord,” says I, speaking very loftily, 
 “an’ I had gotten a lawyer with a proper 
 tongue in his mouth, and some brains to his 
 skull, and an’ it had not been for yonder 
 sour-featured Sheriff, this honourable Court 
 
 197 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 might ha’ come to a different resolution. But 
 seeing as things are thus, why pass your sen- 
 tence, and be damned,” says I. 
 
 Thereat he puts on a little black cap, and 
 turns to me with a solemn Anabaptist face. 
 But I was not behind him at that, and so 
 smack upon my head goes my own hat, and 
 I surveyed him with as long and mopish a 
 countenance as himself. And at the con- 
 clusion of his discourse I marched off as jaunty 
 as you may wish, atween my guards. There 
 was never a Judge on His Majesty’s bench as 
 could get a tremor out of Dick Ryder. 
 
 Well, there was I now laid in the Jug again, 
 in my little-ease of a cell, and scarce a fortnight 
 ’twixt me and Tyburn. And first, you must 
 know, they had me watched very sharply, for 
 Grubbe had whispered in their ears that I was 
 a devil that would break out of hell. ’Twas 
 the dubsman told me this in excuse for harsher 
 usage, for he was decent enough out of his 
 office, and entertained an admiration for me. 
 Nor was Grubbe much at fault, for it was not 
 in my mind to rest in my dungeon convenient 
 198 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 to Jack Ketch, and I vow that I would have 
 burst their very walls and disported myself 
 openly in London Town, had I gotten the 
 liberty of my limbs. For that again I owed 
 Timothy a grudge, and I was not the man to 
 forget a black debt, not if I had to wait a 
 twelvemonth. But I will admit that my plight 
 took a dark colour, with me in chains, and 
 never a soul, not even Polly, permitted in my 
 cell. It was plain that they would hold me if 
 they could. But, Lord, ’tis before obstacles that 
 a man’s heart rises, and if I was to be daunted 
 by the raw circumstances of my peril, I should 
 ha’ given up the road, in a manner of tongue, 
 ere ever I took to it. So with that I considered 
 very deeply, taking counsel in my hold. I had 
 many friends outside Newgate, if I could but 
 exchange messages; and presently I thought 
 upon a plan, which was no sooner conceived 
 than forthwith I started to put it into execution. 
 And first I must deliberate on my behaviour, 
 for upon that all hung. What does I do then 
 but in the first few days after my sentence 
 break out into paroxysms of fury whenever 
 
 199 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 the gaoler poked his nose oyer the doorway? 
 I roared like a bull at him, rattling my irons 
 furiously and flinging my body upon the 
 stones till you would have thought that all the 
 devils were collected out of Christendom in 
 that one corner. The gaoler himself, with 
 whom I had been upon terms previously, took 
 affright at me, and not without reason, for I 
 threw my hands in his face when he entered 
 with my food, grinding my teeth at him till the 
 edges cracked. ’Twas small wonder soon that I 
 got the name of being a bedlam : the apprecia- 
 tion of death having, as they said, robbed me of 
 my senses. And then it came about that not 
 one of them would venture into the dungeon. 
 Lord, it fairly split me to see ’em run when I 
 charged at the doorway. But this was a piece 
 of my policy, for I guessed very well what 
 would happen ; and sure enough, after this had 
 gone forward for a couple of days, in marched 
 the Ordinary for to quiet me with the consola- 
 tions of religion, by the Governor’s command. 
 He entered in a trembling state, his knees 
 giving as he came, but I sat sullen in my corner 
 
 200 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 with never a word or a sign, till he was arrived 
 nearly abreast of me, leaving the door open for 
 flight, and the dubsmen all agog with the 
 expectation of an uproar. 
 
 “My son,” says the Ordinary in a quaking 
 voice, seeing I kept calm, and inspired, maybe, 
 by this, “it is my duty to prepare you for your 
 appearance before your Maker.” 
 
 At that I gave vent to a yell and brought my 
 chains with a crash upon the floor, sending him 
 at the same time a devilish look. He withdrew 
 at top speed; but fearing, I suppose, that I 
 might make a rush for them, the turnkeys 
 banged the door, and there was his reverence 
 all alone with me. His face betrayed the most 
 abject consternation, and he turned white even 
 to his red nose. Whereupon I could hold my 
 laughter no longer, and broke out into a fit of 
 merriment. 
 
 This seemed to encourage him a little, for, 
 still keeping his distance, he addressed me : 
 U I am glad,” says he, “to see that you keep 
 up your spirits, my poor fellow, in these heavy 
 circumstances.” 
 
 201 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 u Spirits!” says I, scowling at him, “I have 
 had enough of spirits, damn them! Take ’em 
 away ! ” I yelled, and fell to cursing. He made 
 no sign, but still remained in the corner near 
 the door, in a fresh fit of shivering. But that 
 was not in my scheme ; and so, feigning to 
 come out of my seizure, I turned to him in a 
 tremulous imploring fashion. a An’ you be a 
 man of God,” I bleated, u and the Minister of 
 His Divine mercy, rid me of these Devils, 
 reverend sir.” 
 
 This put a new face on him at once, and his 
 tune changed with alacrity. u Why, certainly, 
 certainly, my good man,” says he, coming to- 
 wards me briskly. “ ’Tis the function of us 
 servants of the Almighty to discharge such 
 duties to the unfortunate. What ails you ? ” 
 
 I groaned, and then, taking him greedily by 
 the hand, whispered, “’Tis the spirits of the 
 murdered as haunt me, your reverence.” 
 
 By this he was completely in control of 
 himself, and took out his snuflf-box quite pom- 
 pously. a Yes, yes,” says he, tapping it, u ’tis 
 true. For they that have the blood of their 
 
 202 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 fellow-creatures upon them, how shall they 
 escape the damnation of Hell ? ” and he re- 
 garded me complacently. 
 
 He was a tall, thin fellow, with an ancient 
 wig that sat awry upon him, and a face blotched 
 and bubuckled with drinking. His arms and 
 shanks were long and bony, and seemed ever 
 in his way, so that you took the impression 
 that he had more than his share of them ; he 
 looked for all the world like a dragon-fly in 
 liquor. He stretched his ungainly carcase on 
 the floor, and doubling up his knees, snuffed 
 with a satisfied air. I groaned again. 
 
 “If you have shed blood,” observed the 
 Ordinary, “ blood shall be exacted of you, and 
 after death, to burn in the fires of Gehenna. 
 Thus doth the Holy Writ imply. The tears of 
 a sinner avail not, for though in God is our 
 refuge, yet shall not the judge of all do right ? ” 
 He wiped his nose with his fingers, and looked 
 at me. 
 
 “But if I repent,” said I humbly, “the 
 Almighty will pardon me ? ” 
 
 The Ordinary smiled in a superior way, and 
 203 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 dusted his legs. “Undoubtedly,” he returned, 
 “there is a chance for such as truly repent 
 them of their iniquities, but who testifieth to 
 the sincerity of that repentance, seeing that 
 we are but dust and ashes? Moreover I would 
 ask you to observe that it is more comfortable 
 to feel that the Lord takes vengeance upon 
 them that break His commandments, as He 
 rewards them that keep them. Thirdly,” says 
 he, “whom He loveth He chasteneth.” 
 
 Now by this I had perceived that the 
 Ordinary was somewhat gone in liquor, having 
 primed himself, as I imagine, for our encounter ; 
 but it was no odds to me in what condition I 
 found him, provided I could make a tool of him. 
 And this I seemed likely to achieve, for when 
 he left me, it was with the most polite messages 
 of religion and a promise to see me again that 
 evening for the further administration of sacred 
 comforts. From the word, too, which I had of 
 the gaoler, he took credit, I found, for having 
 tamed me. 
 
 “I have exorcised him,” said he to the dubs- 
 “ There’s nothing like the consolations of 
 204 
 
 man. 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 the Church to exorcise the evil spirit.” And 
 he stalked about the Yard among the prisoners, 
 holding his head high. 
 
 Things now fell out as I had plotted, for, 
 sure enough, the Ordinary made his appearance 
 in the evening with a mouth full of admonitions 
 and prayers. He was now deeper than ever in 
 wine, having, as I supposed, spent the better 
 part of the day in celebrating his spiritual 
 triumph. He wore a great air of patronage, 
 and was extremely affable, standing with his 
 lean legs well apart, in order for to keep his 
 feet, and poking a bent forefinger at me to 
 emphasise his instructions. 
 
 “Ryder,” says he, “I fear that you are a 
 rogue, a devilish rogue. By the tokens of the 
 law, discovered in His Gracious Majesty’s 
 Courts, you have taken the blood of man, and 
 whoso sheddeth man’s blood by man shall his 
 blood be shed. There is a solemn word for 
 your comfortable consideration. When I am 
 gone, and, my orisons discharged, I am retired 
 to the innocent sleep of a child, think upon it 
 with tears and sighs and bitter mortifyings of 
 205 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 the spirit. For the Almighty has appointed 
 unto Him ministers of His Wrath, the which 
 shall exact of you the penalty to the uttermost 
 farthing.” Whereat he hiccoughed, and in- 
 cautiously changing the position of his feet, sat 
 down upon the floor very suddenly. “ Ryder,” 
 says he, proceeding still solemnly, and without 
 any appearance of having discovered his collapse, 
 “I warn you as a priest of the Church, to flee 
 from the wrath to come. What is man but as 
 the grass that to-day is and to-morrow is burned 
 in the oven? Yea, what is he, but as the flame 
 of a candle that is blown out with a breath? 
 And I will put it thus unto you, for your 
 surer edification. Firstly, there is the sin of 
 Lasciviousness, the which deserves reprobation. 
 Verily it has its reward. Secondly, to divide 
 our discourse into heads, there is the sin of 
 Drunkenness. The drunkard shall not inherit 
 the kingdom of God. Mark that, ye that look 
 upon the wine when it is red. Thirdly, there 
 is also the sin of Covetousness, the which even 
 princes commit. And finally, to pass over the 
 several Cardinal vices, which at this moment 
 206 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 have slipped my memory, there is the sin of 
 Murder.” 
 
 He spoke the word as it were with a sort 
 of bellow, and contemplated me sternly, his 
 bibulous eyes, a little asquint, resting weakly 
 on my face. But whether ’twas the dramatic 
 pause he made that was too long for his wits, 
 or that he was tired of the matter, he resumed 
 presently without seeming to remember upon 
 what he had been talking. “ Ryder,” says he, 
 “the ale in this Jug is admirable, but the wine 
 is swipes for a tender stomach,” and at once fell 
 to chuckling in delight of his jest. 
 
 “And that’s true, your reverence,” said I, 
 “as I can bear witness. ’Tis hard that a man 
 who is picked out for death may not so much 
 as bowse a pint of good wine to warm his heart 
 against the rope.” 
 
 He nodded approvingly, and we condoled in 
 quite an affectionate manner; the which set 
 presently smacking his lips over the rare flasks 
 he had drunk in former times, more particularly 
 in the company of Jerry Starbottle. 
 
 “Aye,” says he, “that was an excellent year, 
 20 7 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 Ryder : a better I have no wish to spend. 
 There was Hack, and Higgins, and old Jeremy 
 Starbottle, all rode to the Tree that year. Ah, 
 there was king’s pictures and to spare, lad ! 
 Faith, there was more of c Stand and Deliver’ 
 in those days in a week than the whole 
 squadron of you might venture in a twelvemonth 
 nowadays,” and he sighed over the recollection. 
 
 It was in my plan to set his tongue blabbing, 
 the more so as I desired to be upon terms with 
 him ; and so I listened very humbly, though 
 Hack and Higgins were none so mighty, nor 
 Jerry Starbottle neither. Indeed the tales of 
 these gentry have suffered undue enlargement. 
 But I said no word about that, merely shaking 
 my head along of him, and saying, “Ah yes, 
 those must ha’ been gay days. We are a poor 
 company in their comparison.” 
 
 “Poor!” says the Ordinary with spirit. 
 “You say well. A parcel of scarecrows, set to 
 frighten crows — that’s what the pad is now ; ” 
 and seemed very bitter about it. 
 
 In fine, we got very well acquainted, for the 
 Ordinary was glad to pay me frequent visits, 
 208 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 the other tenants of the Jug being little to his 
 taste. 
 
 “ There was never a scurvier company in the 
 Yard,” he explained. u ’Tis full of none but 
 common canters and divers, rude fellowship for 
 a man of parts ; and scarce a golden roundle 
 among them.” 
 
 There was the rub ; and, indeed, it was as 
 much the entertainment I made for him as the 
 love of my society as fetched him so often to 
 see me. For I was in no lack of money, and 
 would constantly have him in a pint of warm 
 ale, the which he drank with tender regard. 
 
 u Ryder,” says he, u I have taken a liking 
 to you. You are no common file, like the 
 riff-raff outside ; and damme, but if you must 
 wear hemp, you shall wear it like a proper 
 gentleman with the very best offices at your 
 service.” 
 
 He was a rare sodden rogue was the Rev. 
 Josiah Phipps — for that was his name — and 
 mingled piety with liquor and oaths faster than 
 any man I have encountered. For the most 
 part he was drunken, when he alternated 
 209 
 
 o 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 between a desire to prove me damned and the 
 whim of recounting famous exploits on the 
 road. But when he was sober he wore a 
 solemn face, and roared Hell at me, as he had 
 been in the pulpit. There was never a man 
 so deeply damned as me, according to him, 
 with his firstlies, and his lastlies, and his flow 
 of quotation from the Scriptures. And verily 
 I believe the cully was in earnest, for there 
 were two parts of him, so to speak : one 
 crapulous and roystering, and t’other imposed 
 by traditions and long usage upon his fleshly 
 habit. But there were times, too, when he 
 was neither drunk nor pious, at which he 
 would talk shrewdly of the affairs of State 
 and the conditions of the Government. Not 
 that I cared a groat for them, but it was to 
 my profit to encourage him into a lively friend- 
 ship for me, which is ever best achieved by 
 the fortuitous discussions that pass between 
 man and man. And then, again, he would 
 sometimes fall very low-spirited and comment 
 upon his own affairs with the utmost frankness. 
 
 “I should ha’ been a Dean, not to say a 
 
 210 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 Bishop, Ryder,” he would say ; u I would have 
 filled the place sonorously. I’ll warrant I have 
 a good voice, as you may witness, and there 
 be people that have come miles to listen to my 
 discourses to the condemned. I have a sting- 
 ing smack in my sentences. I have made old 
 Jerry himself heave with fear. ’Tis all in the 
 accumulation, as it were. I pile my emotions 
 in a pyramid. Each phrase hath an edge : it 
 bites. I have seen the eyes goggling out of 
 the whole condemned pew at my fulminations. 
 And to think,” he went on with a change of 
 note, u that I am but Prisoner-Ordinary to 
 a noise of gallows-birds ! I that might have 
 had beaux and wits and fine ladies trembling 
 afore me. ’Tis the papistical leanings of His 
 Majesty that are at fault.” And with a sigh 
 he would bury his nose in the tankard. 
 
 But all the same I made way with him, as 
 he acknowledged. u I will admit, Ryder,” said 
 he at another time and in his most sentimental 
 mood, “howbeit I wear the cloth, and am, 
 beyond doubt, of a much superior state, that 
 I am sincerely honoured by your friendship. 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 Starbottle was well enough, but Starbottle, be- 
 tween cronies, was a rough-mannered tyke, 
 with no gracious instincts. He had no more 
 civility than a bear, had Jerry.” 
 
 And now I come to the time when, my plot 
 being ripe, I must make a push for liberty. 
 It was a hazardous course, and I could not 
 promise myself success, but ’twas better to 
 take all the hazards in the world than to be 
 carted meekly off to Tyburn. Thus it was 
 upon the night afore the day appointed for 
 the ladder that the Ordinary, entering my cell 
 very sober about eight o’clock, found me with 
 a doleful mouth. 
 
 “Ah, Ryder,” he says, shaking his head, 
 “ ’tis a long journey and a short shrift for you 
 to-morrow ” ; and, being in that humour, pro- 
 ceeded to enliven me with pictures of the 
 vengeance of the Almighty and of the base- 
 ness of the malefactor. 
 
 Of course I listened very anxiously, and 
 when he had finished, I says, “Your reverence,” 
 I says, “if a man must die, ’tis wisdom that 
 he should die with his belly comfortable. For 
 
 212 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 the which consideration let us be merry to- 
 night." 
 
 u Merry ! ” he cried, lifting up his hands, 
 “a soul so nigh its Maker is more meet for 
 prayers and fastings " ; and then, his own 
 stomach getting the uppermost, u yet I would 
 not refuse any legitimate consolations of the 
 flesh to a human being, more particularly as 
 the spirit oftentimes cedeth out of the very 
 weakness of the body.” And this was the 
 last flutter the rags of his calling made, for 
 when the wine was fetched, he sat down to 
 it with a relish, and grew garrulous, as was 
 his wont. u ’Tis a pity, Ryder," says he 
 meditatively, and cocking an eye at his glass, 
 “ to see a handsome rogue such as you be 
 predestined to a cruel end. I have seen many 
 go to the Tree with few compunctions, and 
 even with a sigh of content to be quit of 
 their dirty company. But you, in a manner, 
 warm my heart. ’Tis grievous that you should 
 fall upon so evil a fate, and you with such 
 a fine buxom career before you. But it comes, 
 for the main part, of our bringing up," he 
 213 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 says ; u I have a philosophy by which I hold 
 in private, and which teaches me not to con- 
 temn no man. This world runs so zig-zag ; 
 ’tis like a bolting horse. No sooner are the 
 reins in your fingers but you are flung upon 
 your nose and left with a bloody coxcomb on 
 the roadway. We suffer the hazard of broken 
 bottles, out of which the wine is spilled on 
 every corner. Vessels, Ryder,” he added 
 sententiously, “ fashioned, some for honour, 
 and some for dishonour ; and that is the way 
 my eyes look upon life.” 
 
 “ Rip me,” said I, “ ’tis an excellent view, 
 your reverence, which is to say, that had you 
 been Dick Ryder and I Prisoner-Ordinary, I 
 should be stuffing the creases out of my 
 stomach to-morrow evening, and you would 
 be swinging and creaking ’tween the crows 
 and the frogs.” 
 
 “No doubt,” agreed the Ordinary, a little 
 uneasily, and filled his glass again. “You 
 will understand me, Ryder,” he went on, 
 “ when I confess to you that the topsman 
 draws me strangely. I love him. ’Tis like 
 
 214 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 a lodestone to see him with the noose in his 
 fingers, looping and festooning and twining 
 it so delicately beneath the black gallows. 
 Lord, how many times have I stood by, per- 
 forming the sacred offices of my high calling 
 for the advantage of poor souls as was oozing 
 out of kicking flesh.” Here he smiled and 
 seemed to recall the occasions with unctuous 
 affection, but suddenly resumed: “But there 
 is something further to my nature, the which 
 confounds me. With this delight is enter- 
 tained a strong repulsion, very antagonistic. 
 My belly has retched at the sight of the 
 Triple Beam, which all the while my eyes 
 devoured with appetite. Explain that for me, 
 Ryder, an’ you may.” 
 
 “Rot me,” said I with a laugh, “but ’tis a 
 cheerful conversation you would pu/Sue. Damn 
 the topsman, and here’s to a merry meeting ! ” 
 
 The Ordinary lifted his glass and drank. 
 “ I like you, Ryder,” he said, with enthusiasm. 
 “ There is nothing mealy-mouthed about you. 
 You make a rare companion to a bottle. The 
 age of drinkers is gone out ; but Starbottle and 
 215 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 I were notorious in the Yard. A paunch of 
 the right sort had Jerry.” 
 
 “ Ah,” I put in again, “ this age is degenerate, 
 and that’s gospel.” 
 
 The Ordinary rubbed his nose. “Rotten,” 
 says he with decision, “all rotten, saving only 
 yourself, Ryder, which is a rare exception.” 
 
 Now all this time I had taken little part in 
 the conversation, being content for his tongue 
 to wag, and still plying him with liquor. But 
 presently, as his blood warmed, he grew louder 
 and less deliberate in his words, and began to 
 oscillate between his usual extremes of religion 
 and gossip. Whereupon, seeing that my 
 opportunity was arrived, I suddenly took my 
 main step. For in the midst of his remini- 
 scences of the hanging of Captain Crayes, I 
 dashed my glass down hastily with my manacled 
 hands. 
 
 “The Devil take us ! ” I cried, “but here we 
 are guzzling verjuice when we should be float- 
 ing an occasion in good liquor.” 
 
 The Ordinary looked at me, drunkenly. 
 “ True,” he said. “ You have not treated me 
 
 216 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 well, Ryder. The wine is damned bad, as I 
 live.” 
 
 u And the more fool I,” says I, “when there 
 is a gross of generous burgundy a-waiting for 
 me in the cellars of the ‘Bull’s Head,’ in the 
 trust of Mr Shackleton.” 
 
 I regarded him anxiously, for Shackleton’s 
 was a name he must have known very well, and 
 the “ Bull’s Head ” would have aroused the 
 suspicions of a common dungfork. But he was 
 nobly primed, and there was never a sign in his 
 countenance save the marks of drink in his 
 rolling eyes. 
 
 “’Sblood! ” says he, “we will drink it all.” 
 
 I shook my head. “ How shall it be 
 fetched ? ” I asks him dolorously. 
 
 The Ordinary paused. “I will charge my 
 own person with the job,” he said. 
 
 “ But it will not be delivered to you,” said I. 
 The Ordinary was too drunken to consider this 
 difficulty, and so said nothing. “Wait,” says I, 
 feigning a thought. “If your reverence is 
 willing for the mission, why I think we may 
 compass it.” 
 
 217 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 “How so?” says he eagerly. 
 
 “ If your reverence,” says I, “ will proceed to 
 the 4 Bull’s Head ’ and offer a message to the 
 landlord, I have no doubt it may be managed. 
 And this is what you shall say, namely, a 
 demand for a dozen of Captain Ryder’s rare old 
 burgundy, set by for occasions, and Captain 
 Ryder’s lamentations, but he would drink a 
 toast to the lads at the c Pack Horse ’ to-morrow 
 an’ he had not other business with his Majesty. 
 ’Tis a civil farewell to ’em.” 
 
 The Ordinary got upon his legs. 44 I will 
 discharge it at once,” he said with a hiccough. 
 
 44 Do not forget the terms,” says I, 44 or the 
 landlord, as like as not, will send you packing,” 
 and I repeated them slowly a second time. 
 The Ordinary solemnly repeated them after 
 me, and then, shambling to the door, was gone. 
 
 I wager ’twas an uncomfortable hour I 
 expended upon his leaving, for it was odds but 
 he would forget his mission, or that Shackleton 
 would not understand, or that, maybe, he would 
 be stopped by an over-zealous turnkey. There- 
 fore it was with great satisfaction that I heard 
 218 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 him return ; and in he comes with a rush, his 
 long legs flying, and a parcel of bottles under 
 his arms. 
 
 “They keep a close watch upon you, to- 
 night, my poor Ryder,” he says, “but I have 
 explained unto the j igger-dubbers as we must 
 spend the evening together for spiritual con- 
 solation and advice,” and he cackled with 
 laughter. 
 
 But at the sight of the bottles I was well- 
 nigh losing my head for the first time, and, 
 paying no heed to him, “ Let me have ’em,” 
 says I eagerly. 
 
 The Ordinary drew himself up and put a 
 finger to his nose. “Softly, softly, Captain,” 
 said he, “ ’tis my privilege as the superior and 
 your ghostly comforter to make the experiment 
 first.” So saying, he sat down upon the floor a 
 long way from me, and deliberately selecting a 
 bottle knocked the neck off it with extra- 
 ordinary neatness. At this my heart was in my 
 mouth for a moment, but the next second I 
 knew ’twas all right, for tipping the edges 
 against his lips the Ordinary drank and gurgled 
 219 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 as he drank. This done, he jerked himself 
 towards me, saying: “’Tis a rare vintage, my 
 Ryder, and I cannot conceive how my stomach 
 abided those swipes.” 
 
 I clutched the bottles from him one by one, 
 leaving him to his swilling, and examined them 
 carefully, feigning to observe the marks ; but 
 soon an alarm took me, for what I was in search 
 of was not there. 
 
 “ Bah ! ” says I, “ the knave has fobbed you 
 off. This is not his best.” 
 
 The Ordinary stared. “’Tis well enough,” 
 said he, “and there’s half a dozen more with- 
 out.” 
 
 “ Why, fetch ’em in,” cried I, with new 
 hope, “maybe ’tis the tap I love.” 
 
 The Ordinary, stimulated thereby, obeyed 
 without a word ; and no sooner was the first 
 bottle in my hands than I saw at once that 
 Shackleton had taken my meaning, and I’ll 
 warrant I laid it by with a mighty cheerful 
 feeling in my heart. And with that I turned, 
 smiling, to the Ordinary, and gave him a health, 
 to which he responded with drunken gravity. 
 
 220 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 Then befell a scene the recollection of which 
 even now makes me merry. For I was myself 
 in a lively mood, now that things were assured 
 for me, and the Ordinary, heated with the 
 drink he had already swallowed, and gloating 
 upon the good liquor, soared beyond his previous 
 behaviour in the extravagance of his meander- 
 ings. He had not a spark of humour in his 
 body, but was as serious as a Judge. 
 
 “You will wonder, Ryder,” says he, seated 
 very comfortable, “why I, who was ordained 
 for great things, am come to this deplorable 
 state. Females, my lad, cracks, cockatrices, 
 for a start, and an uncommon devotion to the 
 bottle, the which it is pleasing to consider, I 
 have now conquered.” 
 
 “Well, here’s another glass on it,” said I, 
 with a laugh. 
 
 The Ordinary dipped his beak like a did- 
 apper. “ ’Tis a sore pity you are bound 
 for Hell-fire, Ryder,” he said; “but so ’tis 
 — where their worms dieth not — a parlous 
 state, lamentable, indeed, for a Christian to 
 contemplate,” 
 
 22 1 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 u Does your reverence mark me out for 
 Satan?” I asked whimsically. 
 
 He rolled his eyes, and shook his head 
 lugubriously. “Undoubtedly, you are chosen 
 for burning, Ryder,” he declared. “I have 
 given your case careful and prayerful thought. 
 But the mercy of God which endureth for ever 
 will be void before an addicted sinner like your- 
 self. The Devil has hardened your heart, as 
 he hardened the heart of Pharaoh, and of old 
 Clinch, that was hanged in chains at Hamp- 
 stead in 1673. He was a rare one > was Clinch; 
 a prettier hand at a job I never met. I have 
 known him to take two thousand guineas in a 
 day between here and Portsmouth.” 
 
 “ I ha’ done better myself,” says I, for I was 
 tired of this laudation of parties like Clinch and 
 Starbottle; “I have took ten thousand in an 
 hour or so.” 
 
 The Ordinary turns his eyes on me. “For 
 the which you have lost your immortal soul,” 
 he said solemnly. “Bethink you, Ryder, how 
 little a thing is life. Rather lay up for yourself 
 treasure in Heaven, where neither moth nor 
 
 222 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not 
 break through and steal. The advice, maybe, 
 comes late, seeing that your hours are num- 
 bered; but, as I have not had the honour of 
 your acquaintance previously, I have lacked the 
 opportunity to put you upon the narrow way 
 that leadeth to life.” 
 
 “ O damn preaching,” says I ; “ let us drink.” 
 
 The Ordinary smiled. “What I like about 
 you, Ryder,” he says, “is your generous hand. 
 You must have heaped up riches. ’Twas a 
 pretty business, yours ; and all to fall into the 
 hands of a wench.” 
 
 But I would not take that from him, as I 
 let him know. “Leave talking of Polly,” I 
 cried angrily, “or irons or no irons, I’ll knap 
 your ugly nose olf ” 
 
 “You are too hot, Ryder,” says he, edging 
 away drunkenly ; “ I meant no offence. Faith, 
 I mean nothing but well by you, in proof 
 whereof I will drink to a neat turn-off to- 
 morrow.” He drank at his words, and though 
 I was angry I could not forbear laughing. 
 
 “O well,” I says, “I’ll join you there.” 
 
 223 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 u That’s well,” he says. “ Friends should 
 not quarrel, specially as their fellowship must 
 be so soon determined,” and smacked his lips. 
 “ Lord, Ryder,” says he, gazing at the ceiling, 
 u you’re but a young hand, smart for your age, 
 no doubt, but lacking the master’s cunning. 
 There was that job at Petersfield, now — Clinch 
 would never have undertook that, nor Starbottle 
 neither. ’Twas your impetuosity misled you. 
 For my part I should ha’ waited for the fall of 
 dark, catched ’em up three leagues t’other side, 
 nicked ’em in the forest, and then, as comfort- 
 able as you like, I should ha’ had ’em under 
 my pistols, with never a star to witness and 
 wooden ears to hear. ’T would ha’ been as 
 easy as dismembering a pint of wine.” 
 
 He was now fair set upon his hobby, and I 
 knew that he would not be drawn from the 
 wine so long as he could fist a bottle. But 
 I was minded to get to work, and be quit 
 of the oaf, and so, says I, “Your reverence 
 will perceive that the sands of my life run 
 out, and the night is far spent. An’ it suit 
 you, sure, I will engage for the remainder 
 224 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 in watch and prayer, lest I enter into tempta- 
 tion.” 
 
 At the sound of this he pulled up and sur- 
 veyed me with solemnity. “Aye,” says he, 
 “ Ryder, fall to your prayers, for thou shalt 
 be hanged as high as Haman afore breakfast.” 
 
 “Leave me, then,” says I, “and take those 
 pipkins with you, for what has a poor devil like 
 me to do with mortal pleasures ? ” 
 
 “True,” he stutters. “There’s no further 
 use in them for you, and as ’tis a pity to despise 
 the kindly creatures of God, I will e’en put up 
 with them myself.” 
 
 So saying, and hugging the remnant of the 
 dozen to his breast, he staggered to the door, 
 which, being unlocked from without, was once 
 more closed upon me. You may imagine that 
 it was not long before I had forth my particular 
 flask, and fetched out of its inwards a sharp file 
 and a short whittle. With the former I set 
 to work forthwith, and after three hours’ hard 
 labour had eaten well through the irons. After 
 which, concealing the knife about me, I lay 
 back and slept sound. 
 
 p 
 
 225 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 I was awoke about sunrise by the coming of 
 the dubsman who, with a few rough words of 
 condolence, bade me to prepare for the cart. 
 This was easy done, and presently I was taken 
 forth by his mates, one of whom ventured to 
 rally me upon my fortunes in ugly terms. I 
 would have taken the brute a clout under his 
 jaw, if I had not been restrained by considera- 
 tions of prudence. As it was, all I did was of 
 a sudden to go down upon my knees and plead 
 for his pardon. The turnkeys grinned, and 
 the same fellow was for lifting me up with his 
 foot, when in comes the Ordinary, looking the 
 most dismal ruffian you can imagine in the 
 three kingdoms, but his eyes very determined 
 and business-like. 
 
 “ Hold, Roper,” says he, sharply ; “ you 
 
 would forget yourself ; ” and then to me, u I 
 am glad, Ryder, to perceive that you are come 
 to a resigned and dutiful spirit on this day of 
 reckoning.” 
 
 I rolled my eyes, and murmured some hocus- 
 pocus to myself, with my nose to the ceiling, 
 and the Ordinary looking edified, took a pinch 
 226 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 of snuff. But after that I was pushed along, 
 and came next into the open, where a great 
 crowd was collected. At the sight of me there 
 was some noise, and then what does I do but 
 suddenly flops upon my knees again. 
 
 a Your reverence, I would wish to pray,” 
 says I. 
 
 “Back there,” cried the Ordinary, waving 
 his arm authoritatively, and gesticulating to my 
 shepherds to stop. There was a roar from the 
 crowd, and then there fell a hush, for ’twas 
 scarce the conduct that had been looked for 
 in me. Then I was gotten into the cart, with 
 the Ordinary by me, and we set forth at a 
 doleful pace for the Uxbridge Road. Down 
 I pops on my knees once more. 
 
 “ I would ask mercy,” says I. 
 
 His reverence stared a little, but quickly com- 
 posing himself, “Aye, you have need of mercy,” 
 he says, and lifts his own hands to Heaven. 
 
 Now this proved diverting to the escort, of 
 whom the self-same Sheriff that had witnessed 
 against me rode near by on a white horse. But 
 I let ’em laugh, for I swore under my breath to 
 2.27 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 visit them with a surprise presently. ’Twas a 
 rare piece of fun to them, no doubt, that Dick 
 Ryder was turned puritan, and Shackleton’s 
 lads, too, must have stared. For, by that 
 same token, when we were at length off Soho, 
 to the accompaniment of many groans and 
 cheers, and a great concourse of people, I 
 saw, sure enough, that Shackleton had took 
 my meaning, for there was a string of ’em in 
 accordance with my signal, outside the “Pack 
 Horse.” Here once again I fell upon my 
 knees, and this time the Ordinary, who was 
 being carried away by his growing passion, as 
 we neared the Tree, fell with me, calling out 
 his prayers aloud. And j ust then, glinting out 
 of the tail of my eye I caught sight of Timothy 
 Grubbe, all in a grin by the roadway. That 
 somehow put the rowels on me, and with a 
 swift movement of my arms I loosened the 
 darbies upon my wrists and legs, and flinging 
 them off with a clank into the cart, whipped 
 out the gully and with a bound was over the 
 edge and into the road, leaving the poor 
 Ordinary upside down, with his long legs 
 228 
 
Of my Incarceration in the Jug 
 
 kicking in the air like a beetle fallen upon his 
 back. The act fell with such suddenness that 
 it took them all by surprise, but at the cry 
 that was raised the escort reined in with 
 some confusion. Once upon his legs, how- 
 ever, Galloping Dick was a match for any 
 escort, and sending the nearest off his nag 
 with a knock in the belly, I merely sent the 
 steel in a flying stab at my old friend, the 
 Sheriff, and was through the ring ere ever 
 they might lift a weapon. A great roar broke 
 from the assembly, but the ranks gave way 
 upon the Soho side, as I ran through full tilt. 
 “ Bravo, Dick ! ” cries someone, and with that 
 a shout goes up, and ’twas “Bravo, Dick!” all 
 round. Shackleton’s lads carved out a lane 
 for me smartly enough, and ere the escort could 
 pierce the crowd I was through the “Pack 
 Horse ” and out upon a private back-alley, as I 
 knew, in the twinkling of an eye. 
 
 And that, as it chanced, was the method of 
 my escape, which was for long notorious in the 
 country, and concerning which many erroneous 
 tales have been in circulation. 
 
 229 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham, and of a 
 Remarkable Part I played. 
 
Chapter VI 
 
 Of a Meeting near Fulham, and of a 
 Remarkable Part I played 
 
 It has many times fallen to my good-fortune, 
 in the exercise of my calling, to have en- 
 countered persons of high distinction, picked 
 out for cynosures of the public gaze, and 
 marked and predestined to fill a great part in 
 the history of our times. There was his 
 lordship, the Earl of Shaftesbury for one, a 
 Minister of the Cabal, and a cock of the 
 game to boot ; and I could tell, if I were 
 minded, of my meeting with Bloody Jeffreys, 
 and of the trick I put upon him ; while, 
 to name no other, I had a mighty queer ad- 
 venture in communion with that dirty toad, 
 Titus Oates. But the sally that best pleased 
 233 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 my whimsy, and for which, as it chance, I 
 was the least fore-armed, was taken in more 
 exalted company, and when I was yet green on 
 the pad. And I here set my pen to the 
 narrative with the more zest, that the man 
 himself being now dead, and passed into 
 sour disrepute, I am enabled to show him 
 forth for what he was — a sovereign fellow, 
 incomparable with a whole line of high- 
 nosed Dutchmen. Maybe ’twas owing to my 
 very rawness that the escapade took so full a 
 flavour and developed so roundly, for, an’ my 
 wits had been a trifle brisker at the outset, 
 and my eyes had plied smarter than my tongue, 
 I might ha’ stopped short, for sure, upon the 
 threshold of the emprise, that, as it was, I 
 slipped into the affair with a plunge, and for 
 all the world like any micher of ten years old ; 
 and this was how it came about. 
 
 Having gotten into bad odour upon the North 
 Road, and finding the j annizaries peppered 
 about the posting-stages, I rode into London 
 Town upon the seventh of May, armed with 
 fat pockets, and distended, maybe, with a corn- 
 234 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 placent satisfaction in myself. I was fair 
 bubbling over the brim with spirits, and ready 
 for to cock a barker or flash an iron at General 
 Monk himself, if so be the occasion should 
 throw me across him. But after a day or so 
 with other roysterers, and my temper still 
 serving, out I flung upon an excursion towards 
 Fulham, for mere devilment, and by no means 
 because my purse was running low. Half-way 
 to the village, and within cry of a tavern, I fell 
 across a carriage, dancing along at a rare pace, 
 richly caparisoned, and with out-riders and all 
 the privileges of wealth. Nothing must suit 
 me then but, like a lusty young fool, to drive 
 myself square across the way, and despatch 
 the horses back upon their prats, setting the 
 coachman and the post-boys yelling in a terrified 
 ubbaboo. And next I popped up to the 
 window, and thrusting my pistol forward, 
 exacted my demands of the occupant, ere ever 
 he guessed what was afoot. 
 
 He was mightily perturbed and also inordin- 
 ately savage, being as I could perceive, a nobleman 
 of mark upon his road to some great house. To 
 235 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 be rumpadded there, almost within the precincts 
 of London, and upon a night of stark moon- 
 light, and with a score of people within call, 
 could not have been greatly to his taste. But 
 his fuming served him little, for I relieved him 
 of what he had, which, to say the truth, was 
 not very much. I cared not a doit for that, 
 but the distemper with which he took his 
 predicament, together with my own giddy head, 
 set me in a roar, and there I stood in the road, 
 watching the carriage roll away, with my hands 
 to my hips, cackling out of mere levity. 
 
 And with that, quite suddenly, a voice says 
 by my side, u Faith, ’twas a very neat piece 
 of horsemanship; and I’ve no wish to see a 
 better.” 
 
 You may guess that I started about sharp 
 enough, and there in the moonlight, but his 
 face obscured in the shadow, was a man astride 
 of a big Flanders mare, coolly contemplating 
 the vanishing coach. 
 
 u Who the devil may you be ? ” says I, very 
 much set aback by this apparition, and fingering 
 my pistol uneasily. 
 
 236 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 His gaze shifted to me slowly, and he 
 regarded me with a silent scrutiny. I was in 
 the full light, and he might observe every galoon 
 and buckle upon me. But, calm as he was, I 
 was not to be browbeat by his insolence, and 
 so, without further ado, I jogged the nag a 
 step nearer, and says I, drawing my hanger — 
 “Well,” I says, “an’ you have observed my 
 horsemanship with so much commendation, 
 “Sink me, but you shall have the occasion to 
 test my passados also.” 
 
 “Nay, nay,” he says, laughing a little, “but 
 I will take the rest of your reputation on trust, 
 and without any test. ’Tis a point with me to 
 trespass on no man’s calling.” 
 
 I looked at him in suspicion, but somehow 
 the humour of his voice assuaged me. Yet I 
 was not going to yield upon the impulse to 
 any current stranger that might punch a hole 
 through me when my back was turned ; and so 
 I came still a step nearer, and, 
 
 “So be you are honest,” said I. “Let us 
 see old Oliver on your face.” 
 
 There was a moment’s hesitation ere he 
 
 237 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 moved, but then, with another gentle laugh to 
 himself, he pulled round his mare, and backed 
 into the moonlight, where he remained, regard- 
 ing me with a catching smile. He was a man 
 of good presence, somewhere about fifty, as I 
 conjectured, with a big nether lip, and a swarthy 
 face, harsh-featured, yet moulded in good humour. 
 I liked the fancy of him, and seeing that I was 
 in a merry mood myself, was for hob-a-nobbing 
 with him at once, an’ he would. But ere I could 
 speak he interposed on my observation of him. 
 
 U I trust,” says he demurely, “that you will 
 keep me no longer under old Oliver’s scrutiny 
 than may serve your need, for, to say the truth, 
 I hold something of a traditional antipathy to 
 the name.” 
 
 “Zooks!” I said laughing, “and so do I — 
 a scurvy, ranting Anabaptist — a coystril as 
 knew nothing of good liquor and good women.” 
 
 “You express the feelings of my family to 
 daintiness,” he returned with his smile, “and I 
 would that my poor father were alive to hear 
 you.” 
 
 “You speak well,” says I, “and there’s many 
 238 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 that would take a journey even out of Hell to 
 spit upon old Noll’s bones.” 
 
 “I misdoubt,” he says, reflecting, u if my 
 father had designed that precise abode for 
 himself. But it may well be he was wrong. 
 For my own part I find, no doubt with yourself, 
 this present world a sufficient exercise for my 
 thoughts — the more so that it has sometimes 
 used me shabbily.” 
 
 “ What calling may you follow ? ” I asked. 
 “Well,” he says, with a sly look at me, “’tis 
 scarce one for pride, but an’ you press me I 
 must confess that I have the repute of being a 
 somewhat importunate beggar.” 
 
 “What!” says I in an amaze, “are you a 
 wheedler ? ” 
 
 “Ah,” he says thoughtfully, “I believe even 
 that term has been put upon me, but the word 
 has an ugly sound, now I hear it.” 
 
 “ But,” said I, for his appearance set the lie on 
 his statement, “You speak like a man of quality. 
 I’ll warrant you are no common canter.” 
 
 “True,” he said suavely. “I am glad that 
 you have observed that. I endeavour to be 
 
 2 39 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 proportionate to my breeding ; for, according 
 to the acceptance of my friends, I derive from 
 excellent parentage, though, it is obvious a man 
 may not vouch for so much in his own person.” 
 
 “ What then ? ” said I. 
 
 “Well,” said he, smiling, “I find my wits 
 use me better than my birth; that is all.” 
 
 u Ho ! Ho ! ” I cried, for he spoke with such 
 plain modesty that I could not but give him 
 credence, “I wager you are a man of parts, 
 then, to fig yourself out in this spruce fashion. 
 It serves you very well, I dare swear. And 
 now I am come to think on it you have the cut 
 of a wheedler, and I doubt not also the maw ; ” 
 and I fell to laughing. 
 
 But he made no remark, merely smiling very 
 sedately, and when I was done I addressed him 
 more confidential. “To be frank,” said I, “I 
 took you at the first, seeing that you were not 
 in league with the Old Antick, for one of the 
 lay. But I see you are not the bantam for that. 
 Your face and your paunch betray you,” says I. 
 
 “ How is that ? ” he asked, looking at me 
 dubiously. 
 
 240 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 “ Oh well,” says I, “ you were featured and 
 figured for an Adonis. That’s your trade,” I 
 says, “and I’ll warrant I could pin it to you an’ 
 I poked a little closer.” 
 
 He smiled broadly, and then putting back his 
 head went off into a gentle inward laugh very 
 joyously. 
 
 “My friend,” says he, when he had come 
 to himself, but still chuckling, “ you strike 
 home. In sooth I had resolved to keep the 
 matter private, but, egad, there’s no deceiving 
 your eyes,” and he blinked at me humorously. 
 
 But meeting his gaze I could not refrain on 
 my part, and off I went into a peal. When I 
 looked at him again he had took his reins in 
 hand, but, leaning forward quickly, I seized the 
 bridle at the mare’s mouth. 
 
 “Come, come,” says I, with an oath, “I will 
 have you know, wheedler or applesquire, that 
 you are not your own master while Dick Ryder 
 is in need of you, and since you have sought 
 my company, by God, but you shall keep it 
 until I choose.” 
 
 A slight frown contracted his forehead, but 
 Q 241 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 immediately his eyes lit up with that choice 
 smile of his, and says he — 
 
 “My good man,” he says, “I had not 
 presumed to quite such hospitable acquaintance, 
 for in truth I am too little used to such 
 fellowship as yours to desire to lose it hastily.” 
 “And what the devil,” I cried with asperity, 
 for his^tone was something superior, “do you 
 with your 4 good man ’ ? I’ll have you remember 
 that I am any man’s equal, to say nothing of a 
 damned Cupid’s.” 
 
 “ As for good man,” he replied suavely, “ I 
 will not defend the adjective ; and in respect 
 of equality — why, I daresay you make a better 
 thing of it than I.” 
 
 “ Faith,” says I, seeing he spoke so humbly, 
 “ maybe I do. But an’ you take my full 
 pockets to heart, there’s stranger things have 
 happened than that I should put you on the 
 road to fortune yourself. I ha’ caged a deal 
 more goldfinches in a week than your kidney 
 would gather in a twelvemonth. In a way I 
 have ta’en a sort of liking to you.” 
 
 “ You are very good,” says he, as humbly 
 242 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 as ever, u I should be pleased to learn of 
 you.” 
 
 “Oh, damme,” says I, “I’ll teach you a 
 proper trade. ’Tis better than to cozen old 
 madams of their jewels, and to snip the fal- 
 lals off young punks. Sure, that is a sorry 
 business for a Quaker-bodied respectable old 
 gentleman like you.” 
 
 I thought he winced ever so slightly at that, 
 but then, sending me one of his sly and smiling 
 glances, he remarked — 
 
 u Captain Ryder, if you can teach me a 
 profession proper to my years, I can promise 
 you the gratitude of my friends ; ” and, making 
 me a polite bow, he sat in his saddle, as though 
 awaiting orders with docile attention. 
 
 But somehow (I could not say why), the 
 terms of his reply deranged me. There was 
 an air about him that was new to me, and I 
 was bewildered whether he was mocking at 
 me, or merely sitting at my feet like an 
 ignoramus. I cast him up with as shrewd a 
 gaze as I might, measuring him from his silver 
 spurs to his big black wig which he wore in the 
 243 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 last buckle. But soon he interposed in my 
 inspection. 
 
 “ Captain Ryder,” he said, gravely, “I am 
 awaiting instructions of you.” 
 
 I laughed a little at that, being still in my 
 perplexity, but he threw me a glance of re- 
 proach. 
 
 “I had scarce expected, Captain,” says he, 
 “ of one of your acknowledged and well-merited 
 repute to mock at honest enthusiasm, however 
 raw. Humble as I sit, I would scorn to put a 
 slight upon any ardent heart.” 
 
 But I was none the more settled for this 
 same speech, which appeared to me to have a 
 savour of the ironic ; and yet I could pick no 
 fault in his demeanour. For all that, I was 
 uneasy that he must be laughing at me, and 
 so when he says more gaily — 
 
 “Come, Ryder, what say you? Shall we 
 take the road?” I broke out in a blast of irri- 
 tation. 
 
 “ Damn you,” I said. “ Do you think I have 
 no better use for my limbs than to risk ’em 
 upon a noddy that has lived to fifty years with- 
 244 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 out having gotten even a hornbook knowledge 
 of life ? ” 
 
 “The reproach, Ryder,” says he, with an 
 appearance of consideration, “ is too cutting. 
 I know women very well, as you must admit.” 
 
 “ And a fine field that is to grub in,” I says 
 with a sneer. 
 
 “ ’Tis very pleasant,” says he impartially ; 
 and at the words spoken very takingly and 
 with such an absence of offence, my dudgeon 
 vanished and I broke into laughter again. 
 
 “Damme,” I says, “you’re the man for me, 
 in whatever gutter you make your livelihood ; 
 and you shall drink me fair at the “World’s 
 End ” to it, or by the Almighty, I’ll batoon your 
 fat paunch.” 
 
 The invitation was bluff enough in all con- 
 science, but I suppose he accepted the spirit 
 of it, for he replied, with a glance at his 
 belly — 
 
 “ Indeed, it is none so monstrous, Ryder, 
 when all’s said. But I will confess that it has 
 outstripped my ambition by several inches. 
 Yet do my friends assure me that it is in no 
 245 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 wise out of keeping, but rather, if I am to 
 believe them, of quite an elegant distinction. 
 In truth, in my own little circle I am considered 
 for something of a fine gentleman, and ’tis the 
 fashion to aim at my precise girth.” 
 
 a A plague on you,” says I, laughing, “you 
 round-bellied old hackney! You need rowels 
 upon you for to keep you trotting, and a 
 fortnight of Little-ease would best meet your 
 case.” 
 
 “I may come to that,” says he placidly, “I 
 may come to that, an’ I keep such company.” 
 
 It was a merry j est, and not for me to take 
 offence at ; indeed I liked him the better for 
 his humour; and pretty soon we were seated 
 in the tavern to ourselves, my lacemonger with 
 a stiff brew of French brandy and me with a 
 quartern of ripe ale. He pulled a sour face 
 over his glass, for the liquor was not to his 
 palate, but I jibed him on his dainty stomach. 
 
 u Faugh ! ” says I, u those light o’ loves spoil 
 you. ’Tis well enough. I know the stuff, as 
 like as not the best brandy ever fetched out 
 of France under His Majesty’s nose. I would 
 246 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 think shame to live so maudlin as yourself, and 
 you with the makings of a man in you ! ” 
 
 “I must apologise,” he says politely, “for 
 my seeming discourtesy, for the feast is yours. 
 And I have no doubt you are right as to the 
 quality, but I fear me that my taste has been 
 distorted by the stuff fubbed off upon me by 
 my cousin in France.” 
 
 “ Maybe he is in the trade ? ” I inquired. 
 “Oh,” says he, smiling, “a good many hogs- 
 heads pass through his fingers in the year.” 
 
 “ Ah ! ” says I with a wink, “ and I misdoubt 
 if it pays a farthing to His Majesty.” 
 
 “You are right,” said he, with a laugh, 
 “But in truth I have no grudge against His 
 Majesty, so be that I pay nothing.” 
 
 “You say well,” says I. “He’s not a bad 
 sort, Old Rowley, but a lazy chicken-spirited 
 dog. ’Twould do him good were someone to 
 fetch him a toe in the hinder-parts upon 
 occasion.” 
 
 “ Ah ! ” says he, contemplating my boots 
 with some interest, and then meeting my eyes, 
 “ Is he worth it ? ” he asked smiling. 
 
 247 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 “ Damme,” says I, echoing his smile, “ I 
 don’t know that he is. Let him go to the 
 Devil his own way.” 
 
 “You speak my sentiments,” says he. 
 
 But soon, what between the drink and the 
 incitement of our talk, and my own new-found 
 liking for the cully, my tongue began to clap 
 merrily. To say the truth, I had purposed to 
 press him upon his name and style, for I felt 
 sure he came of some position, though probably 
 lapsed in fortune ; but, like the vain oaf I was, 
 I fell to chattering more of myself than of him, 
 lecturing him like a schoolmaster, and informing 
 him upon the Art of Life. 
 
 “Now yours,” I said, “to my thinking is a 
 dirty trade. To dangle at a petticoat, and to 
 be kept in leash like a monkey, — ’tis mean- 
 hearted conduct, not to be assumed by a fellow 
 of spunk. Not but what,” I says, “I cannot 
 put a proper value upon a wench. Tame or 
 wild cat, swart or red, Joan or My Lady, so 
 be she have colour to her flesh and marrow 
 to her bones, I’ll play the Spaniard with the 
 best of them. But to stand for ever mak- 
 248 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 ing lays against her humour, Lord, ’tis quite 
 another matter, and worth no man’s respecta- 
 bility.” 
 
 He had listened to me very seriously, though 
 I thought that his mouth twitched at times, and 
 when I was done he observed with a deprecat- 
 ing manner, 
 
 “I fear you would put me to too rigorous a 
 service, Captain Ryder. At my age ” 
 
 “Zounds, man,” I interrupted on him, “You 
 may be no green goose, but you’ve the vitals 
 of a man in you yet.” 
 
 “ ’Tis very courteous in you so to reassure 
 me,” he returned with a bow, “ But indeed you 
 yourself have reminded me of my habit,” and 
 he glanced at his stomach. 
 
 “ Gad ! ” says I, “ a week on the Toby will 
 melt that suet.” 
 
 He rose, laughing good-humorously, and with 
 an air on him that somehow seemed to dismiss 
 me : but I rose too. 
 
 “ Faith,” I says, “ you are not for horseback 
 yet. The ladies, sure, are not so exigent of 
 your company. I promise you they will not 
 249 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 grow stale for the lack of the likes of 
 you.” 
 
 “Tut, tut!” he cries with acerbity, a you 
 ride a jest to death. I like a man that plays 
 upon more strings than one,” and then, “Come, 
 Ryder, you will observe that I do not twit you 
 with the Road.” 
 
 “ Oh, damn the Road,” I retorted in a 
 roystering way. “ I am in the mind to ex- 
 pend the night after quite another fashion ; and 
 had you the spirit of a louse, ’twould be to 
 one of them same ladies you would offer to 
 present me.” 
 
 At that his mouth suddenly quivered, and, 
 his eyes sparkling, he laughed faintly. 
 
 “But,” says he, “you should consider my 
 profession. Where is my livelihood, should I 
 loose you on my private liberties ? ” 
 
 u Maybe,” said I, smacking my pockets, “ we 
 can arrange that atween us.” 
 
 “ Ah,” said he, turning grave of a sudden, 
 “here’s sense and a commendable business 
 habit ? ” 
 
 I winked at him, “ Said is done,” says I, and 
 250 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 leaning forward, very facetious, dug my 
 knuckles at his waistband. 
 
 Upon my motion, and very instantaneously, 
 he withdrew his body out of range, and, his 
 whole face changing, directed on me a short 
 imperious gaze that stayed me in the act. 
 Now I was fairly loosed by the liquor I had 
 boused, to say nothing of the issues of my 
 previous flights, and I could not conjecture to 
 this day what inspired me with the recognition, 
 specially in that bibulous state. But the fact 
 was that throughout our intercourse I had had 
 a growing uncertainty of him, and now, with 
 that flash of his eyes, the discovery came upon 
 me like a thunder-clap, and I fell aback, dazed 
 and disordered, with the knowledge that here 
 was His Gracious Majesty himself that had 
 been my companion ! 
 
 The revelation abashed me outright, and I 
 stood staring on him, with all my wits aflow, 
 the similitude of his features to the effigies I 
 had seen of him gathering clearer with each 
 moment. 
 
 But I suppose he referred my embarrassment 
 2 5 * 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 to his smart rebuke, or to some drunken witless- 
 ness, for he smiled at last, and says he, “Well, 
 shall we conclude the bargain ? ” 
 
 But with his speaking consideration came to 
 me and I jumped up, feigning an eagerness, 
 but still very damnably mazed. 
 
 “Sink me,” I said, “for sure, and no 
 time will better this.” But all the while my 
 brains were busy with the discovery, and ’tween 
 that and the horsing I had opportunity sufficient 
 to dispose my mind. And first it appeared to 
 me that if it ’twas Old Rowley for certain, it 
 would ill become Dick Ryder to subvert the 
 entertainment he had chosen for himself ; and 
 that for so long as he was for being interpreted 
 as a common Adonis, for such I would use him 
 in conduct. Whereas, for a second deduction, 
 seeing that he had put a subterfuge on me so 
 far, damn it, ’twas my privilege to put another 
 upon him, an’ I might. With which determina- 
 tion my thoughts came to a conclusion ; and 
 presently, as we were jogging along flank 
 to flank, I says, counterfeiting my former de- 
 meanour as near as may be — 
 
 252 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 “What style do they put upon this cocka- 
 trice, you old satyr ? ” I says. 
 
 If he had taken any suspicions that I had 
 unmasked him this must have settled them, and 
 he replied sedately — “ Faith, among so many I 
 can scarce — but yes,” he says, “ this must be 
 Mistress Barbara.” 
 
 “Barbara,” says I, smacking my lips, “An’ 
 I like the wench as well as her name, I’ll 
 warrant Mistress Barbara and I should be 
 capital company together.” 
 
 “Ah,” says he, showing his teeth in a soft 
 smile. “But I would have you warned that 
 this same Barbara hath a spirit. She is par- 
 ticular to the point of phantasy. I have 
 remonstrated more times than I can remember 
 upon her whimsies, but she will aye fly out. 
 They* will bear no remedy.” 
 
 “As for that,” I said briskly, “I like ’em 
 best with the diabolic. A stark woman and 
 a fist o’ nails for me ! ’Tis a welcome diversion 
 for a fellow of mettle.” 
 
 But all this time I was casting about to 
 nominate the wench congruous to the rumours 
 253 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 of the Town, and then the remembrance comes 
 to me, and I knew ’twas the Duchess of Cleve- 
 land as he spoke of. And if I was in any 
 doubt before, that resolved me upon the 
 identity of my companion. But I said very 
 little more, though screwed to the pitch of 
 a high sensation, until we drew up before 
 a house near by the village of Kensington. 
 Here Old Rowley jumps to the ground. 
 
 “I had forgot to tell you,” says he, turning 
 to me suavely, “ that there is a disagreement 
 ’twixt the lady and myself, and it is odds 
 that we shall meet a hot reception.” 
 
 But I merely grinned, and presently, the 
 preliminaries being arranged, we were ad- 
 mitted by a foot-boy, and found ourselves set 
 in an ample room, enriched with many pleasant 
 pictures and sumptuously ordered. 
 
 “Rip me,” says I, staring about the 
 chamber, “ you are a prince among wheedlers 
 to have the freedom of this palace.” 
 
 “ Oh, I do very well,” he returned affably, 
 and commands me some wine. But just as 
 we were sipping of our glasses comes me in 
 254 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 a strapping madam, robed in a magnificent 
 gown, and her eyes like the lights in a black 
 pool. 
 
 “You rogue,” says I to Old Rowley, “what 
 an admirable taste you show, for sure.” 
 
 “I was in hopes,” says he in the same 
 whisper, “ that you would have attributed the 
 taste to the lady. ’Tis a compliment they 
 expect.” 
 
 But she then, coming forward very rapidly, 
 started aback slightly, on seeing me and drew 
 herself up, questioning His Majesty with her 
 eyes. 
 
 “Madam,” says Old Rowley, bowing very 
 gravely, “ ’Tis a friend of mine— this good 
 gentleman, to whom your name being used 
 with all admiration, he conceived a warm de- 
 sire to be presented to you ; the which, as 
 one acquainted with your catholicity, I 
 have made bold to grant. Like myself, he 
 stands without the Law, following an illicit 
 calling.” 
 
 Her brow darkened, and I could perceive 
 at once from various ensigns that she owned 
 255 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 the temper of a shrew; and says she very 
 coldly, and with an angry look at Old Rowley, 
 U I am honoured indeed by this gentleman’s 
 admiration,” and then flinging herself into a 
 chair, she cries petulantly, “ Lard, what 
 whimsy would you be at now ? ” 
 
 But Old Rowley starts as with surprise, 
 and speaking in a pained voice — u When I 
 tell you, Madam,” he says, “ that Captain 
 Ryder has kindly offered to instruct me in 
 the delights of the King’s highway, you will 
 see how much we should be indebted to him 
 for the opportunity to add to our humble 
 fortunes.” 
 
 But Madam shrugged her shoulders, and 
 gave vent to a sigh of weariness — seeing 
 which, I presumed to speak up for myself. 
 
 “ ’Tis true enough, Madam,” I says, stepping 
 a pace forward, “ what this old humourist says, 
 but sure, he has put it so ceremonious that I 
 scarce recognise the bargain. For ’twas con- 
 cluded atween us both that, if so be yourself, 
 as was like, being out of stomach with him, 
 should be agog for a new ligby, why here’s 
 256 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 a claimant for the honour,” with which I 
 flings my glove to the floor. 
 
 Her ladyship burst out laughing very sourly, 
 and turning to Old Rowley — 
 
 “ Is this true ? ” she asked. 
 
 Now I had thought to see him wince at 
 my impudent suggestion, but, Lord, nothing of 
 the kind. 
 
 u Why,” he says, with a pretty smile, “ ’tis 
 set somewhat coarsely, but — ” and then, after 
 a show of confusion — “ Captain Ryder, you 
 will perceive, would leave you every liberty 
 of selection.” 
 
 “I should be accustomed,” says she scorn- 
 fully, “to be subjected to your vagaries ; ” and 
 stopped abruptly, seeming to reflect. 
 
 Presently she looked up at me with a 
 different face. 
 
 “ Captain Ryder,” she says with a smile, 
 “you will doubtless pardon my seeming rude- 
 ness, but this news has fallen of the suddenest. 
 
 I make no doubt but we shall be better ac- 
 quainted presently.” 
 
 “Indeed,” I replied grandly. “Better ac- 
 r 257 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 quainted is a phrase that, with your ladyship’s 
 permission, shall be invested with a private 
 meaning.” 
 
 “ So it shall,” she says quite softly, and 
 looking at me with enticing eyes. 
 
 Though it is not my part to brag of my 
 person, I have lived too long not to know the 
 value of a smart coat and a pair of eyes, and 
 I will confess that her ardent glances stung 
 me to the midriff; more particularly as she 
 next turned towards His Majesty, and with a 
 dainty gesture of her arm, addressed me thus— 
 “ Maybe,” she says, “ you can persuade your 
 friend, Captain, not to obtrude himself upon 
 us in this unseemly fashion.” 
 
 “Why,” says I promptly. “Now his duty 
 is over, he may go to the Devil for me,” and I 
 took a step or so towards Old Rowley. 
 
 He seemed a trifle disconcerted, for I reckon 
 ’twas scarce the deportment he had expected 
 in her ladyship ; but this was only for a second, 
 and then he bowed very gravely. 
 
 “I feared, Madam,” he said, shaking his 
 head, “that this would be my reception, once 
 258 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 you were seised of a fine bird like this ; and 
 so I warned our Captain here.” And then to 
 me — “ Ah, Ryder, ’tis a heavy price to pay for 
 your good offices upon the Road,” and feigned 
 to look chapfallen. 
 
 “Maybe,” says I, in a huffing way, “But 
 ’twas a fair bargain, and what would you ? 
 Should a stalwart, full-bodied piece like Madam 
 here be pulled off with a cockchafer like you ? 
 Sink me, you rate yourself too high.” 
 
 “In truth,” he murmured, seeming despon- 
 dent, “ you are right. I have but a poor notion 
 of my own pretensions, and yet I will confess it 
 has sharply vexed me to be so discountenanced.” 
 There he sat, the rogue, leaning easily in 
 his chair, and with a lugubrious expression on 
 his phiz, but his eyes, as I might perceive, very 
 demure and luminous, shooting glances under 
 his brows at Madam. But she avoided him 
 coldly, and turning to me murmured some fancy 
 jape against him under her breath, and went off 
 into a giggle of satiric laughter. ’Twas nothing 
 to the point, indeed, but I slapped my thighs 
 and feigned to roar with her, while I was 
 259 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 puzzling my brains to know what she was at. 
 Old Rowley directed a quizzical look on us, 
 and crossed his legs calmly. I make no doubt 
 but he was diverting himself hugely, but so 
 was I, for the matter of that, and the more so 
 that I was resolute to turn the tables upon 
 him. So, 
 
 u Look on him ! ” says I, going off again. 
 “ A muck-rake like that, as ought, from his 
 investiture, to be a godly sanctimonious saint — 
 to think of him philandering in the courts of 
 Love ! ” 
 
 “Nay,” says Madam, ironically, “you must 
 not be too hard on him. He is as God made 
 him.” 
 
 u May He make no such other ! ” I exclaimed. 
 
 “ Amen ! ” says she, with a vicious snap of 
 her teeth. 
 
 Suddenly she bent forward to me, where I 
 was seated and put her white hand gently on 
 my shoulder. 
 
 u Captain,” she whispered in a cooing voice, 
 “ I will be plain with you. This man hath 
 outlasted my endurance, and that’s the fact. 
 260 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 Lord, what I have stood from him would amaze 
 y6 ’” 
 
 u You shall stand no more,” says I fiercely, but 
 wondering what mischief she was conceiving. 
 
 “ Indeed,” she says, very softly, u I am 
 beholden to you for your offices. ’Tis he 
 himself that has brought deliverance to me.” 
 
 “ That is so,” said I, grimly, “ I will quit you 
 no more.” 
 
 She sighed, and lifting her eyes to mine, 
 thinks to befool me with her blandishments. 
 
 “ And there is one service you shall do me,” 
 she says very low. 
 
 “What is that?” I asked. 
 
 “You must know,” she answers, dropping 
 her voice still lower, u that this same fellow 
 has upon him a valuable necklet of mine, the 
 which he has appropriated for himself. Wrest 
 it from him,” she whispers eagerly, “ wrest it 
 from him, and let us be done with him for 
 ever.” 
 
 At once I got a notion of what lay between 
 them, and the origin of this disagreement. The 
 necklace, I guessed, must ha’ been destined for 
 261 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 some other light-skirts, and my lady being of a 
 jealous disposition, was in the mind to capture 
 it ; while I was the catspaw, was I, to serve her 
 ends. Oh well, thinks I, here’s a new face to 
 the adventure, at the least ; and assuming a 
 stern frown, I leaped quickly to my feet and 
 made for Old Rowley, where he sat, very 
 much exercised, I daresay, upon what we were 
 exchanging. 
 
 “ Hark’ee,” says I, “ Master What-be-your- 
 name.” He put his head to one side and 
 regarded me whimsically. “If ’twere not for 
 your years I would learn you smartly to thieve 
 a lady’s goods — and as it is, and to avoid 
 delay, I will have you disgorge me a certain 
 necklace as belongs to Madam here.” 
 
 Old Rowley started slightly, and a frown 
 settled on his forehead. He had not antici- 
 pated this, I could see, and for a moment he 
 sent a sharp look at her ladyship. But she 
 leaned back and disregarded him. 
 
 a What do you mean ? ” he asked, somewhat 
 
 “Oh,” says I, mockingly, “I reckon you are 
 262 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 aware of my meaning. He that steals from 
 his mistress is a black thief, and you may be 
 thankful if I do not prove that on your jacket.” 
 He sat still, appearing to think, but mani- 
 festly perplexed. 
 
 u Come, vomit,” says I, and I raised my hand. 
 u Sirrah ” — he begins quite fiercely, and sur- 
 veys me. Then all of a sudden he changes, 
 and producing a packet from his pocket, hands 
 it to me with a slight bow, but gnawing his 
 lip all the while. u I acknowledge my fault,” 
 he says. u But indeed ’twas a present of mine 
 to the lady, with a stone for every year of her 
 life.” 
 
 As he spoke I was dangling the toy in my 
 finger, and her ladyship’s face, which had been 
 gleaming with satisfaction, flamed suddenly 
 from her natural colour, and she cried out 
 some sharp exclamation — for indeed there 
 were nearer forty jewels in the string than 
 thirty. But the possession of Old Rowley, 
 together with the pat rejoinder which so put 
 her ladyship about, tickled me so, that I could 
 scarce forbear from laughter. And, sooth to 
 263 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 say, as ’twas the first occasion on which I had 
 confused him, I was mightily pleased with my- 
 self; and none the less that I was to upset 
 her ladyship still more plumply. So dropping 
 the trinket in my pocket, I went back to her. 
 
 “ I have it safe,” says I. 
 
 “ Give it me,” cries she, all excitement. 
 
 “Nay, nay,” says I, “but you shall wear it 
 upon our wedding-night, I vow, not afore.” 
 
 For a moment her eyes were shot with fury, 
 and then apparently upon reflection she used 
 another voice. 
 
 “You dear villain,” she says in a coaxing 
 tone. “ How you would torment me ! I fear 
 you are a tantalising rogue.” 
 
 “ Oh no,” I says, with a cunning look, “ but 
 tis my usage to drive a proper bargain.” 
 
 “ Oh fie ! ” says she, “ you misbeliever ! Come, 
 let me see an’ it be truly mine.” 
 
 I shook my head, sticking my tongue in my 
 cheek. “Never a blink,” said I, “afore that 
 hour you wot of.” 
 
 Her eyebrows came down sudden. “ Troth,” 
 she says, with a toss of her head, a ’tis not 
 264 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 gallant to make such terms. Love hath no 
 conditions. I am used to be trusted, Ryder 
 dear.” 
 
 And with that Old Rowley, who was seated 
 very inperturbable, and patting a puppy-dog 
 that was in the room, glanced up at me. 
 
 “That’s true enough, Ryder,” he says comic- 
 ally, and goes on with his fondling. 
 
 “There are times for trusting,” I answered, 
 “ and there are times also for caution, but may- 
 be this is time for neither. I will not be hard 
 on ye. You shall exchange this pretty play- 
 thing against a veritable number of kisses — a 
 buss for each pearl,” I says. 
 
 “How dare you?” she cried imperiously. 
 
 “ Hoity-toity ! ” says I, lifting my brows at 
 her, and mimicking her voice. “No one says 
 ‘ dare ’ to me ; and ’tis but to anticipate the 
 event by an hour or so, as you will agree.” 
 
 “ Sir — ” she began, very still, and then 
 she turned quickly upon Old Rowley, who, 
 stooping over his dog, was softly chuckling to 
 himself. 
 
 “ ’Tis you have done this,” she cried angrily. 
 265 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 u ’Tis your device to have instructed this varlet 
 so to insult me.” 
 
 He turns a whimsical face on her. “Faith, 
 not I,” he says. “ ’Tis your own doing, 
 Barbara. You made love to him. Sure, I have 
 never seen a woman court a lover so warmly.” 
 
 But here I broke in, counterfeiting a fury. 
 “ Varlet,” says I. a And who the Devil gave 
 you leave to put that phrase on me ? I will 
 take no such words from no man, and from no 
 woman neither.” 
 
 “ Leave this room, fellow,” says she haughtily. 
 
 “ Sink me, if I do,” I says. “ Here I have 
 come and here I stay ; and what is more, I 
 design to taste those pretty lips on this instant ” 
 — with which I made as if to approach her. 
 
 But she started away with an evil countenance 
 on her, and Old Rowley sat in his seat, balancing 
 a crown upon the spaniel’s nose, and paying no 
 heed to us. But, presently, her ladyship’s face 
 changed very smartly, when she saw me advance, 
 and she called to old Rowley. 
 
 “Will ye witness this?” she says with some 
 agitation. 
 
 266 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 But he, looking up, and appearing to notice 
 us for the first time, started to his feet hastily. 
 
 “ Faith, I beg your pardon,” he says very 
 suavely. “But I am fallen very forgetful. 
 Sure, of course, I will not be trespassing upon 
 two such billing doves,” and marched at once 
 for the door. 
 
 But at this intimation her ladyship turned 
 pale, and cried out for him to help her, re- 
 treating in his direction, and keeping a fearful 
 eye on me. I was vastly entertained to see the 
 jade’s consternation, for she was well paid for 
 the strategy she used on Old Rowley. He 
 came to a pause by the door, assuming an air 
 of perplexity, and then, when she invoked him 
 once more, feeling, I conceive, that the jest had 
 run far enough, he came up to me, and tapped 
 me on the arm. 
 
 “Ryder,” said he, pretending to whisper, but 
 in a voice very audible. “You press her too 
 closely. God forbid that you should fling her 
 back on me. ’Twixt ourselves, I am well quit 
 of her arrant temper. But serve her more 
 gently, and with a proper approach.” 
 
 267 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 But I waved my arm impatiently at him. 
 u Stand aside,” says I “ for I will buss this re- 
 calcitrant Orinda or be damned,” and I reached 
 out my hand as if to seize her. 
 
 “You ruffian you ! ” she cried, stimulated 
 back into her haughtiness by Old Rowley’s 
 intervention. “I will have you whipped at the 
 cart’s tail. I will put my mark on you.” 
 
 “ Why, for that matter,” I says with a laugh, 
 “and I upon you.” 
 
 But she gave a little scream, and Old Rowley 
 stood by, seeming somewhat embarrassed, for 
 it was plain what I was minded to do, and, 
 sooth to say, my blood was hot enough for 
 the job. But upon my venturing another 
 movement she stamped her foot in a frenzy. 
 
 “Do you know who I am, fool ? ” she said. 
 “I am the Duchess of Cleveland, I will learn 
 you to use your hands on persons of quality.” 
 
 “Oh, ho,” says I with a boisterous laugh, 
 “ ’tis high company we enjoy, for sure. Well,” 
 I says, “and I make no doubt that I am the 
 Great Mogul, and this here will be His 
 Gracious Majesty himself.” 
 
 268 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 Old Rowley, I saw, looked somewhat dis- 
 concerted, and, eyeing me sharply, he says, 
 
 “ Come, come, Captain, do you not see that 
 you have excited her so far, that she will seek 
 refuge from you in any fiction.” 
 
 That turned me on him, for I was tired of 
 the silly wench, and “Who the Devil are 
 you,” I said, “ to interfere atween a gentle- 
 man and his mistress ? I will take it on me to 
 teach you manners,” and forthwith I drew on 
 him. 
 
 He was not at all put about by this, but 
 smiled in his soothing fashion. 
 
 “No doubt,” he says, looking at my weapon, 
 “ ’tis the ardent spirit proper to a lover, Captain, 
 but you will perceive that you have drawn upon 
 an unarmed man.” 
 
 “Well,” says I, “an’ I may not slice you 
 with the point, I will e’en trounce you with the 
 flat,” and I stepped to him, iron in hand. 
 
 And now for the second time Old Rowley’s 
 face fell, and he withdrew a pace, while Madam 
 cried out in an alarm for me to stay my hand, 
 as I knew not what I was doing. But he, 
 269 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 sending her a command out of his eyes, made 
 me a pretty bow. 
 
 “Captain Ryder,” says he, with a rare 
 mastery of himself. “I am in the wrong, for 
 to lack a weapon is no excuse for a gentleman 
 of honour. But an’ I may, I will remedy the 
 want, and we may meet upon any terms you 
 choose.” 
 
 “ What would you ? ” I asked. 
 
 “I will send a foot-boy for my weapon, and 
 a friend to serve us,” he replied suavely. 
 
 I considered, and then, “So be it,” said I, 
 “an’ you bring no bullies of your own kidney 
 upon me.” 
 
 “Yourself shall see the letter, Captain,” he 
 says courteously ; with which he got him swiftly 
 to the table, and seizing a pen, scribbled me 
 off a note, the which he handed for my in- 
 spection. 
 
 The epistle was innocent enough, and con- 
 tained no hint of the circumstances, and more- 
 over, I could ha’ fastened my faith on Old 
 Rowley, that he would not employ treachery 
 against me. But, all the same, and after the 
 270 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 foot-boy was despatched, I passed the half-hour 
 that ensued in a sweat of conjecture as to what 
 was to fall out. It seemed that I, maybe, must 
 presently cross swords with His Majesty’s own 
 self, the which, as you may imagine, I was in 
 no haste to do. But then I considered that, 
 with the introduction of this friend, the affair 
 might dispose itself suddenly in a new way, 
 and that it was this appearance that was to 
 procure Old Rowley out of his predicament. 
 And yet again, if that were so, I could not but 
 wonder why he did not reveal himself on the 
 moment. In fine I could not bottom his design, 
 which, whatever it was, seemed comfortable 
 enough to him, for he expended his time quite 
 easily, frolicking with the dog, and conducting a 
 casual conversation upon indifferent topics with 
 Madam and me. To see him so urbane and 
 unruffled you might ha’ supposed he was the 
 host enlivening his guests. But Madam had 
 obviously passed into a state of despair, and bit 
 her lips and looked frightened ; and once she 
 spoke, appealing to him. 
 
 “ May not this farce end ? ” she says. Old 
 271 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 Rowley looked at her with a polite expression 
 of surprise. 
 
 u Farce ! ” quoth he, as in mild reproach. 
 “You take lightly what may well be a tragedy 
 for me, Barbara. I wish I could simulate your 
 deportment,” and resumed his antics in the 
 coolest manner. 
 
 Just upon that there comes me the foot- 
 boy to the door, with the news that a gentle- 
 man was waiting upon us below; and then I 
 turned to Old Rowley. 
 
 “ This is not to betray me ? ” I says very 
 suspicious. 
 
 “I give you my word, Ryder,” he returned 
 heartily. “ I will hold no communion with 
 him, and you shall explain the situation your- 
 self.” 
 
 At that I ordered the lackey to bring up 
 t’other, and soon there sounds a jangle of spurs 
 in the doorway, and enters a tall fellow, very 
 elegantly dressed. Directly his face was to 
 me, rip me but I could ha’ cried out in 
 chagrin on myself, for ’twas the face, as you 
 will believe me, of no other than the cully that 
 272 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 I had rumpadded that evening ! In a twinkling 
 I had the notion of that old rogue’s manoeuvre, 
 but I made no exclamation, holding back as 
 sober as a judge. The newcomer bowed 
 politely to her ladyship and Old Rowley, who, 
 on his part, answering the congee with cere- 
 mony, addressed him gravely. 
 
 “I am so unfortunate as to pick a quarrel 
 with this gentleman, who will, on his own 
 request, explain your errand,” he says, looking 
 at me without a sign. 
 
 T’other turns to me, with a little frown, for 
 he was a staid pompous creature, and maybe did 
 not fancy such escapades ; and then his brows 
 contracted, and he scowled very black at me. 
 
 u I think, Sir,” he says stiffly, u that I have 
 a little business with this gentleman that must 
 take precedence even of yours.” 
 
 u Indeed ! ” says Old Rowley, with an affable 
 look of surprise ; and then, seating himself 
 comfortably, u Pray do not let me interrupt you 
 then.” 
 
 u Sirrah,” says my Hector brusquely, u I see 
 you recognise me.” 
 
 2 73 
 
 s 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 Now all this time I was cudgelling of my 
 wits to hit upon a plan of conduct. For the 
 matter of that I should not have minded to try 
 a pass with the solemn ninny on the spot ; 
 but I knew that His Majesty was seated as 
 spectator to the play, and it would divert him 
 which way soever the affair went ; and I was 
 resolved to derange his enjoyment an’ I might. 
 So, putting on a dumb expression of bewilder- 
 ment, I stared on the fellow without any intelli- 
 gence. 
 
 “ Faith, you have me at a disadvantage,” I 
 says. “I misremember to have met you.” 
 
 But he had grown very choleric. “I fancy,” 
 he rejoined grimly, “that I may spur your 
 memory.” 
 
 “You will be no bum-bailiff?” I asked 
 innocently. He flew scarlet, laying his fingers 
 on his sword. 
 
 “ Let me recall you,” he says sharply, “ a 
 certain encounter nigh Fulham at eight of the 
 clock this evening — when I had the privilege of 
 meeting with a sturdy rascal, as like yourself 
 as need be.” 
 
 274 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 I put up my head haughtily. “Sink me, do 
 you insinuate ’twas I ? ” I cried. 
 
 “You have been long in taking my mean- 
 ing,” he returned sardonically. 
 
 Here was the point for the diversion I had 
 contrived, and so says I, suddenly changing 
 my tone to sullenness, “You cannot prove it.” 
 
 “ I think,” he says with a laugh, “ my word 
 will serve with the justices against a common 
 scampsman.” 
 
 “You will not prosecute?” I asked in a 
 cringing note, and Old Rowley pricked up 
 his ears. 
 
 “Troth, and I will even now have you 
 charged and clapped in Newgate,” says he 
 angrily. 
 
 “ What you may do, you may do,” says 
 I very surly, “but I can prove an alibi” 
 
 “That,” he says with a sneer, “you shall 
 have the opportunity of doing in the dock.” 
 
 “ I can bring a witness to support it beyond 
 dispute,” I says. 
 
 “Indeed,” he replied ironic, “and who may 
 that be?” 
 
 275 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 “ Why,” says I, “ at eight o’clock I was in 
 the company of His Most Gracious Majesty, 
 King Charles the Second of that name, him- 
 self.” 
 
 Even as the words were olf my tongue I 
 looked at Old Rowley, but to my desperate 
 chagrin he makes never a motion, and not 
 an eyelash budges on him. ’Tis true that 
 Madam gave vent to a little cry, but His 
 Majesty himself sat as still and unconcerned 
 as the dead. 
 
 “ What is this ? ” cries Gold-lace, looking 
 from me to Old Rowley in some perplexity, 
 and as though uncertain of his cue. 
 
 “ I fear, Captain,” says Old Rowley smoothly, 
 “that here is some mistake; for, if you will 
 recollect, ’twas I that had the privilege of your 
 company at the hour you name.” 
 
 “ Faith, and I made bold to recognise 
 your Majesty,” said I, but feeling something 
 abashed. 
 
 “What!” says he, opening nis eyes, and then 
 went off into laughter. “ Indeed, Captain, you 
 have honoured me very greatly. But now I 
 276 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 come to think on it, if you supposed me so, 
 you have used me pretty scurvily for a 
 prince.” 
 
 u Are you not the King ? ” says I, feeling 
 very sheepish, and somehow staggered in my 
 confidence by his demeanour. 
 
 “Why, yes,” says he waggishly, “and you 
 are the Great Mogul, as we agreed.” 
 
 I stood then, as you may fancy, much dumb- 
 founded, and for the moment at a loss for 
 words, but my Gold-lace friend fetched me to 
 my senses ; for says he in his turn — 
 
 “ Come, come, my good scoundrel, you forget 
 that we have not discharged our business. 
 These shifts will not serve you.” 
 
 At that I turned on him very savagely, for I 
 knew ’twas Old Rowley himself, now that the 
 first surprise was over; only I saw no way to 
 deliver myself, and it made me mad to consider 
 that he had been tickled to see me befool 
 myself for Heaven knows how long. 
 
 “ Damn you,” says I. “ An’ this be not His 
 Majesty, why, then, I will claim a prior settle- 
 ment with him, afore I deal with you.” 
 
 2 77 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 My gentleman said nothing, but glanced at 
 the King, a little startled ; and he on his part 
 showed a few signals of embarrassment. 
 
 u Come,” says I, encouraged by this success. 
 “An’ I may not cross swords with His Majesty, 
 I may with a plain Master Rowley, shall we 
 say ? ” 
 
 Hereupon His Majesty’s eyes lit up slowly, 
 and the smile broadening on his face, he burst 
 out into merriment. 
 
 “ On my soul, Captain Ryder,” says he, “I vow 
 you would make a very good Indian Emperor.” 
 
 “ And you, Mr Rowley,” says I, as quick as 
 himself, “ would become a very proper king.” 
 
 “Nay, Ryder,” says he, subduing his laughter, 
 but still gaily, “then, I believe that you and I 
 are the only two people in the realm that 
 think so.” 
 
 But the other two, both my lady and my 
 lord, stared upon us, for their wits, I reckon, 
 were scarce nimble enough for the change, and 
 they looked astounded to see us conversing as 
 if upon a mutual understanding. Indeed the 
 fellow seemed puzzled to determine if I knew 
 2 78 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 twas the king, and if the king were willing 
 that he should be himself. And he stood like 
 an owl, pursing his lips, till Old Rowley turned 
 to him. 
 
 “ I fear, Danby,” says he demurely, “ that 
 the rogue is right, and that he will escape 
 justice this time. You see, if he were to call 
 upon me I must testify to the truth.” 
 
 “As for the matter of my Lord Danby’s 
 purse,” said I, stepping forward, “If your 
 Majesty will recall, it was none so fat, and I 
 misdoubt but we have expended all upon our 
 revels. But an’ I may make restitution in 
 another way, maybe this trinket will suffice for 
 its value ; ” and down I flung the necklet on 
 the table. 
 
 My Lord Danby gaped in an amaze, and 
 Old Rowley, lifting his eyebrows, humorously 
 glanced upon it with a rueful air, and surveyed 
 Madam out of the tail of his eyes. 
 
 “ Take it, Danby,” says he, “ and forgive the 
 varlet.” 
 
 But my lord, who was regaining his com- 
 posure, raised the j ewels gingerly on his finger, 
 279 
 
Galloping Dick 
 
 and then, with a sudden assumption of gallan- 
 try, very ludicrous to witness in him, 
 
 “Nay,” he says, “Here is no trinket for a 
 man,” and with a bow presents it to my lady. 
 
 She was hugely delighted, and looked trium- 
 phantly at Old Rowley; but he followed the 
 gawd with a quizzical look of dismay. 
 
 “ Oddsfish,” says he. “Had I bent to the 
 inevitable earlier, we had been saved all this 
 ado.” 
 
 “I would not have missed it for a fortune, 
 your Majesty,” says I warmly. 
 
 “ Ah,” says he, “ I daresay not, Captain. But 
 then you come off better than I, by my poor 
 Danby’s purse.” 
 
 “Your Majesty had your share,” said I de- 
 murely. 
 
 “ Why, so I did,” says he with a smile ; 
 and then suddenly he pulls out a watch from 
 his fob, and regards it contemplatively, and 
 says he, very serious, but inexpressibly comical, 
 
 “ His Excellency, the French Ambassador, has 
 now been waiting for me one hour and three 
 quarters upon urgent business,” and covering 
 280 
 
Of a Meeting near Fulham 
 
 a tiny yawn, he threw me a genial nod and 
 passed out of the room. 
 
 But as for me, I got forth in high feather, 
 and mounting the nag (it was afore Calypso’s 
 time) rode for the “Bull’s Head,” mighty full 
 of my adventure, as you will believe. 
 
 T 
 
 281 
 
— — 
 
Turnbull &> Spears , Printers , 
 Edinburgh 
 

 
 
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JOHN LANE 
 
 IX 
 
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 Volume i. April 1894. 272 pages. 15 Illustrations. 
 
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