* y^9% 


 
 OR 
 
 THE FOOL OF FORTUNE. 
 
 IN THREE VOLUMES. 
 
 BY THE AUTHOR OP 
 
 The Follies ofFasldouj Lottery of Life , La Belle Sauvage, t^t. 
 
 ** Per tot discrimina reium." 
 
 VOL. I. 
 
 LONDON: 
 PRINTED AT THE 
 
 POR LANE AND NEWMAN, 
 
 LEADENH ALL-STREET. 
 1803.

 
 / 
 
 '^>V^ 
 
 D FERE G RI JVE. 
 
 CHAP. I. 
 
 JIT was DOW two v,o*clock ; the coach 
 
 ro from to London was to fet off at 
 
 ^ three, when a young man of good appear- 
 © ance, dreffed in mourning, entered the 
 ;j ofHce, and engaged an infide place. 
 -^' *' There is an hour yet. Sir/' faid the 
 
 clerk. 
 ^ The young gentleman appeared little 
 ^ pleafed with this information. — " I am a 
 VOL. I. B ftranger
 
 t PEREGRINE. 
 
 flranger in the town," faid he ; " is there 
 any place worth feeing, and which may oc- 
 cupy me till the departure of the coach ?'* 
 
 A perfon in the plain habit of an elderly 
 gentleman, who had at the fame time taken 
 another infide place, and feemed to be 
 equally at leifure, invited him to walk round 
 the city. 
 
 ** As we are to be fellow-travellers,'* faid 
 he, *' we cannot commence our acquaintance 
 too foon." 
 
 The young man accepted the offer. • 
 
 " You are now," continued the gentle- 
 man, as tliey entered the market-place of 
 
 the city, " in the i'luftrious city of , 
 
 one of the oldeft, and, begging the pardon 
 of the Mayor and Corporation, one of the 
 vileft cities in his Majefly's three kingdoms. 
 As to its ftyle, or ground-plot, as the archi- 
 ted:s call it, *tis that of the reign of the 
 
 Edwards y
 
 PEREGRINE. 3 
 
 Edwards ; in the center, a circular market- 
 place, all the narrow ftreets opening into it, 
 and continuing in Rraight lines to the walls; 
 and the jutting ftories of oppofite houfes 
 almoft meeting each other," 
 
 Pereg!i:ie, the name of the young gen- 
 tleman, was gratified with the converfation 
 of his companion. He enquired of him 
 
 whether the city of had not ftill 
 
 more fingular, and lefs pleafingdiftin(5lions? 
 Peregrine, as an Englifhman, and the grate- 
 ful citizen of a free and happy country, was 
 attached with ardour to its conftitution ; and 
 though he had pafTed his life in one of the 
 moil turbulent counties of the kingdom, that 
 of which the city of — was the capital, 
 he had been little affected with the general 
 folly. He had often lamented the extensive, 
 and indeed almoft univerfal predominance 
 of thofe unhappy principles of the new phi- 
 B 2 lofophy
 
 4 PEREGRINE. 
 
 Jofophy which, having finifhed the tour. of 
 the Continent, and left behind them thofe 
 traces of civil confufion which no time will 
 ever erafe, had at length paflcd over the 
 channel, and difturbed the peace of this 
 hitherto happy country. 
 
 The city of had long been famous 
 
 for the afyliim it had given to thefe infec- 
 tious dodrines. Peregrine made fome en- 
 quiries of his companion on this fubjed. 
 
 *' Yes,'* replied the other, '' the city of 
 
 may make that boaft, I do not 
 
 know, indeed, how it happens that thefe 
 principles are nowhere fo prevalent as in 
 our towns of great manufadories. Perhaps 
 the greater population of thefe towns, or 
 fome other circumfliances peculiar to them- 
 felves, mud be the caufe. However this 
 may be, Birmingham, Manchefter, and 
 » have always borne . the palm of 
 
 civifm
 
 PEREGRINE. 5 
 
 ctvipn m this kingdom. In — in par- 
 ticular it rears a bolder front, and elevates 
 a higher creil, than in any other city of oar 
 empire.'* 
 
 They were no;v upon the Caflle hills^ 
 which Peregrine juftly thought worthy of a 
 better town* The fituation of this ancient 
 fortrefs is indeed peculiarly pleafant j it is 
 built upon a high hill, and commands a 
 view not only of the city, but of the county, 
 to a very great extent. It is now ufed as a 
 common prifon for debtors and felons, two 
 fpecies of criminals which our laws have 
 the humanity to confound together. Th® 
 gentleman, the companion of Peregrine^ 
 was juftly fevere upon this part, of our Jeg^l 
 fyftem. 
 
 ** When I was abroad fome years ago,'-' 
 faid he, " I heard a remark from a well- 
 informed foreigner, who had vifited England 
 E 3 as
 
 6 PEREGRINE. 
 
 as Secretary to the Venetian EmbaiTy, and 
 was as well acquainted with our laws as with 
 thofe of his own State. He obferved that 
 the laws of this country, as to the chara(5ler 
 of their general fyftem, deferved the credit 
 they received, and were doubtlefs fuperior 
 to thofe of any other nation of Europe. But 
 I mufl confefs," faid he, ** my furprife, 
 that a body of jurifprudence fo well fitted 
 to all the interells, and fo careful of the 
 freedom of every clafs of the people, (hould 
 be difgraced by fo mercilefs a code as that 
 of your Debtor Laws. In the freed country 
 of the world,'* faid he, ** you (hew in this 
 inftance the lead regard to the liberty of 
 the fubjed ; a debt of ten pounds, a debt 
 incurred by neceflity, and the debtor de- 
 prived of the means of payment by misfor- 
 tune, is enough to rob a man of his liberty, 
 
 and
 
 PEREGRINE. 7 
 
 and fhut hini np in a common prifon with 
 felons and (lioplifcers !'* 
 
 A very juft remark, and one that muft 
 give concern to every man who has the 
 reputation of his country at heart. 
 
 The market-place of the city of . 
 
 is what, next to the Caftle, would catch the 
 attention of an idle traveller j it has nothing, 
 however, very fingular to recommend it to 
 the obfervation of fuch who have made the 
 clafEc tour, and feen the antiquities of Rome 
 and Naples, and the delightful towns of the 
 Mediterranean. The towns of England, 
 though richer than thofe of the Continent, 
 have not that impofing air which catches 
 the eye of the traveller, and makes the moft 
 lively impreflion upon his fancy. 
 
 Bui the market-place of is the 
 
 more pleafing, as it is a tolerable contrail 
 
 to the other parts of the city^ there is 
 
 B 4 fcarcely
 
 S PEREGRINE. 
 
 fcarcely a decent flreet through all tlit 
 town, and it is upon the whole the mo(l 
 huddled and ill-contrived city of any in 
 
 Europe. A pavement, about three feet 
 Vvide, upon one fide of the market-place, is 
 called, by v/ay of diftindion, the Gentle- 
 men's Walk J and ferve?, for the moH: parr, 
 as a promenade to the young ofHcers whofe 
 ill fortune has quartered them in this ntfb of 
 democracv. 
 
 Their late worthy Bidiop, Dn — ufed 
 to fay that Heaven for his prayers had given 
 him a Bifhopric> and, for his (ins, had 
 
 made that BKhopric that of j and 
 
 our two travellers acknowledged the juftice 
 of this remark. They were now hafteningto 
 their inn, and had fcarce g.^t half-way down 
 the walk, W'hen their ears were faluted by a 
 din as infernal as ever aftoniflied man. On 
 ftoppiiig and looking round them, they 
 
 found
 
 PEREGRINE. 9 
 
 found the noifehad ilTued from a neighbour- 
 ing coffee-houfe. They had the curioiity 
 to enter, and examine the caufe. They 
 learned upon their entrance that a kind of 
 city club, confuting of the principal mem- 
 bers of the Corporation, had met in the 
 adjoining room to dinner, and that the noile 
 had proceeded from their joint acclamations 
 on the public toads given for the occafion. 
 
 Peregrine and his friend were curious to 
 know what the toafts were which thefe hearty 
 citizens had receiv^ed with fuch burfls of 
 rapture; but as they were unable lo devife 
 any means, they were in defpair of fatisfying. 
 their curiofity, when a gentleman, the friend 
 of the companion of Peregrine, came fortli 
 from the fea (ling- room. After their mutual 
 falutations, the llranger told his friend that 
 he had been expeding him at the inn ; and 
 B5 not -
 
 10 PEREGRINE. 
 
 not finding him return, had walked out to 
 meet him. 
 
 *^ Pafling by this coffee-houfe/* he con- 
 tinued, '* 1 heard a horrible din of noife, 
 and entered through curiofity ; and if you 
 feel the fame defire to know the meaning of 
 this clamorous rapture, I can conduct you 
 into the room. This is a ciiy feqfi -, and I 
 am acquainted with a worthy Alderman who 
 makes one of the party.*' 
 
 They exprelTed their joint defire to be 
 introduced, and the ftranger, taking hold 
 of his friend's arm, and bidding Peregrine 
 follow, led the way. The company were 
 all fo much occupied, fome in converfations, 
 fome in liftening, others in drinking, that 
 they took no notice of the entrance of the 
 ftrangers, who feated themfelves without any 
 obfervation. 
 
 One
 
 PEREGRINE. II 
 
 One of the party, who feemed to be en- 
 gaged with another in the utmofl: heat of 
 controverfy upon fonie principles of govern- 
 ment and politics, turned round to Pere- 
 grine the moment he was feated, believing, 
 from the gravity of his countenance, he had 
 been all along liftening to his argument i 
 and thus abruptly addrefTed him. 
 
 '' Teil me. Sir, was not William the 
 Conqueror an ufurper ? I fay. Sir, hew did 
 William the Conqueror come to the throne 
 of England ? Why by conqueft, Sir ! — 
 And what right is conqueft. Sir ? — Why, 
 no right at all, Sir^ *tis only the right of 
 the ftrongeft, and can laft no longer than 
 the conquered has the weaknefs to fubmit. 
 William the Conqueror therefore had no 
 right ; and having no right himfelf. Sir, 
 tell me, Sir, how could he tranfmit a right 
 to his pofterity ? — Sir, do you mind. Sir — 
 B 6 I fay
 
 12 PEREGRINE. 
 
 I fay he could tranfmit no right j and 
 
 therefore. Sir ** 
 
 Here the incenfed orator proceeded to a 
 conclufion, which fo irritated our travellers, 
 and Peregrine in particular, that being an 
 honed fubjedl, and a well-wifher to his King 
 and country, he could fcarcely reftrain his 
 indignation. Bat here their attention was 
 called off to another difputant, who was 
 holding forth in a tone equally high at the 
 top of the table ; and fuddenly turning his 
 head from his adverfary, and addreiiing him- 
 felf to the whole company — " And pray, 
 gentlemen,'* continued he, " will any one 
 be pleafed to inform me whether every truft 
 does not fuppofe a power of refumption. I 
 truft my banker with my moneys have I not 
 a right to recal my truft, and place my 
 money, ifl fhould think fit, in other hands ? 
 Why, look you, gentlemen, 'tis the fame 
 
 thing
 
 PEREGRINE. IJ 
 
 thing with Kings and their people ; , their 
 authority is only a truft, and therefore revo- 
 cabJe, according to the nature of all trufls, 
 at the will of the power by whom it was 
 entrufted — that is to fay, gentlemen, at the 
 will of the people |r—fo here is a toaft, gen- 
 tlemen !" 
 
 When he had finiflied this choice piece 
 of eloquence, he rofe from his feat, and 
 commanding all his brother-citizens to do 
 the lame, out of refped to the toad he was 
 about to drink, gave one of fo outrageous a 
 nature againft all decency, good fenfe, and 
 order, that Peregrine and his travelling com- 
 panion left the room with difguft ; and they 
 had got halfway to the inn before they efc'a- 
 ped the infernal din of their civic applaufes. 
 
 The coacn was waiting : they afcended 
 into it, and began their journey. Peregrine 
 could not help exprcOlng fonie furprife at 
 
 the
 
 14 PEREGRINE. 
 
 the fcene he had juft left, and demanded of 
 his companion whether this unhappy conta- 
 gion of democracy were general throughout 
 the kingdom, or confined td particular towns 
 and cities? 
 
 " No/* replied his fellow-traveller, "the 
 mifchief is chiefly confined within the pre^ 
 cindts of large trading towns; nor is it diffi- 
 cult to find a reafon why it (liould be fo 
 
 generally prevalent in fuch places. , 
 
 for inflance, is a large manufaifluring town, 
 and therefore full of the lower clafs of la^- 
 bourers, whofe very exiflcnce depends on 
 the brifknefs of trade. This trade is neceffa^ 
 lily checked by war; the proprietors of the 
 manufadories have not the fame vent for 
 their commodities, and can therefore neither 
 employ the fame number of hands, nor give 
 to thofe they do employ, the lame wages as 
 formerly. The confequence is obvious ; 
 
 the
 
 PEREGRINE. 1 5 
 
 (he lower clafs fuffer feverely from the 
 preffbre of the times ; they are too ignorant 
 to diftinguifh the caufes ; they charge to 
 the ill condudl of their governors what they 
 ought rather to impute to their misfortune ; 
 and thinking their prefent ftate to be bad, 
 foolifhly flatter themfelves that any change 
 would make it better. This, Sir, is the 
 caufe, the firft origin, the caput et origo 
 malir 
 
 '^ In a great degree^ Sir,'* replied Pere- 
 grine ; '* but I fear the principles, and even 
 the arguments we witnefs, are as current in 
 our county as in its city.** 
 
 " You are right, Sir," replied a paflen- 
 ger ; •* it is impoflible either to pafs a 
 country alehoufe, or take flielter from a 
 ftiower in a hut or ftraw-flied, without meet- 
 ing with fome of our ruftic patriots. A 
 friend of mine told me that, as he was pafling 
 
 the
 
 l6 PEREGRINE, 
 
 the other day through his village, he faw a 
 ring made, and his butcher and his baker 
 dripped to their fliirts, fighting in the midft 
 of it. Upon enquiring into the particulars of 
 this quarrel, he was told that they had been 
 in a hot argument whether William the 
 Conqueror was a baftard or not — whether he 
 claimed his right to the crown by defcent or 
 conquefl ; and not being able to fettle the 
 difpute othervvife, they had recourfe to battle 
 to decide the controverfy." 
 
 The company were much plcaled with, 
 this anecdote. It Vv'as now near midnight^ 
 the feafcn in the depth of winter, and the 
 coach going over Newmarket Heath — aheath 
 where for many miles not one fig^fe'vege- 
 tation appears to the eye of the traveller.. 
 In an interval of the rain and wind, the 
 palTengers heard the found of an approaching 
 carriage. Liftening a moment, the noife of 
 
 the
 
 PEREGRINE. If 
 
 the carriage ceafed, and from the fudden 
 Ihriek of a woman, they imagined it to be 
 overturned. As the exclamation appeared 
 to proceed from a little diftance, the gen* 
 tiemen immediately left their feats ; and 
 having come within fight of the coach, they 
 faw a horfeman immediately riding away. 
 The fellow errdeavoured to put his hoifc to 
 full fpeed i but the animal being mettlefome, 
 he was thrown off, and lay apparently lifelefs 
 on the road. 
 
 Sufpedting him to be what he afterwards 
 appeared, the gentlemen feized him, and 
 finding him only dunned, endeavoured to 
 recover. him. Peregrine, meantime, ap- 
 proached the'.xarriage, and having fucceeded 
 in relieving the ladies of their terror, went to 
 the afiifiance of his companions. 
 
 *' The ladies," faid he to his friend, 
 " are an aunt and a niece, and were going 
 
 to
 
 iS PEREGRINE* 
 
 to the houfe of a relation, when they were 
 Hopped in their way by this highwayman.** 
 
 " But let us look at the rafcal," faid the 
 elderly gentleman, having now got him on 
 his legs. 
 
 Saying this, he brought one of the Goach-^ 
 lamps to the fellow*s face, and it difcovercd 
 a countenance which indeed appeared fuited 
 to its trade. 
 
 Having bound and fecured him in their 
 own coach, the travellers proceeded on their 
 journey to Barton Mills, where they intended 
 to deliver bim up to juflice i but they had firft 
 the curiofity to qucftion him. Finding 
 his fentiments fomething above his condi- 
 tion, they demanded of him what could lead 
 him to fuch a daring attempt upon the pro- 
 perty of another. 
 
 '' Property,'* faid the fellow -, '* what 
 
 do you mean by property ? I am a 
 
 weaver.
 
 PEREGRINE. I9 
 
 weaver, and have read the Rights of 
 Man and the Political Economy. Property 
 is all an arbitrary fiction of the law, and 
 there is no fuch thing as property in a (late 
 of nature. All the property of a country 
 belongs to its inhabitants, and therefore each 
 Ihould have an equal fhare. Whoever has 
 more than falls to his (hare in an equal 
 divifion, has fo much of what ought ta 
 belong to another ; and therefore that other, 
 if he has the courage^ has the right to fcize 
 it. I have that courage, and the Rights of 
 Man tell mc that I have that right, I am 
 a —— weaver, and therefore hate ty- 
 ranny, and love liberty. And (hould I be 
 hanged for my attempt, my laft words fhould 
 be—' Huzza for liberty and the city of 
 
 The coach had now gained Barton Mills, 
 
 and
 
 aO PEREGRINE. 
 
 and the highwayman was delivered up to a 
 conflable. After fome delay, the travellers 
 again proceeded on their journey* 
 
 pi }i.:-„^ L ilJLJ-.'X'-CT I ! !HJ J UU'.fjQ! 
 
 CHAP. II. 
 
 ROM their lafl flage to the conclufion 
 of their journey, Peregrine found the infide 
 pafTengers were to confift only of himfeif and 
 his friend. The latter gentleman had con- 
 traded, even during this fliort acquaintance, 
 a favourable opinion of Peregrine, who, on 
 his part, was equally pleafed with the decent 
 manners and good fenfe of his companion. 
 
 This
 
 PEREGRINE. 21 
 
 This gentleman's name v/as Gavadone, and 
 his charader was not without many fingu- 
 larities. His goodnefs was of a nature which 
 with feme would have palled for weaknefs ; 
 and indeed many of hisbcfl adlions were not 
 without that mixture which might lead even 
 the mofi: candid to a fimilar conclufion. He 
 was the fecond fon of a good family, and 
 was in poilefiion of an income of about 
 eight hundred per annum, the greater part 
 of which was fpent in oilices of philan- 
 thropy. Of a good heart, his charities had 
 more of benevolence than difcrin^iinatiouj the 
 ffighteft appearance of diftrefs was fufficient, 
 and he thus became the dupe of thole who 
 had art enough to counterfeit its appendages. 
 In one of the mod charitable cities of the 
 world, fcarcely did a public inftitution of a " 
 benevolent kind exift, in the regifters of 
 which his name was not enrolled. 
 
 It
 
 li PEREGRINE. 
 
 It was another fingularity of this gentle- 
 man, arifing from that confidence which 
 always attends upon goodnefs, that he was a 
 certain and never-fuling refource of every 
 adventurer; for fcarcely was a new projecb 
 fuggefted, or a new patent obtained for an 
 invention, but what he became an imme- 
 diate and liberal patron to it. It will not 
 therefore be a fubjed of furprife that our 
 travellers were equally pleafed with each 
 other. 
 
 After a free converfatlon upon other fub- 
 jeds, the gentleman was led to enquire what 
 were the purpofes for which Peregrine was 
 about tovifitthe metropolis. Peregrine repli- 
 ed, with fome appearance of embarraffment, 
 that he really did not underftand his own 
 defigns. This anfwer was made with that 
 air of confidence and ingenuoufnefs which 
 fliil further alTifted to fix him in the good 
 5 opinion
 
 PEREGRINE. 2^ 
 
 opinion of his friend. To fome further en- 
 quiries of the latter, Peregrine replied more 
 fully. 
 
 ** I cannot fay that there is any thing in 
 my fituation which I have need to conceal. 
 It is unfortunate indeed ; bqt Co little fin- 
 gular, that It may be related in a few words. 
 The county which I have jufl left, was that 
 in which 1 was born. My father had great 
 preferment in the Church : he died, toge* 
 ther with my mother, whilfh I was yet iq^ 
 my infancy. An uncle, who, to be near his 
 brother, had retired on a fortune made in 
 trade to the pari(h of my father, received 
 me into his houfe ; and having no family, 
 educated me as his own fon. It is of this I 
 have chiefly reafon to complain. An edu- 
 cation lefs brilliant would either in my pre- 
 fent circumftances have been more ufeful, 
 or would at lead have taken much from a 
 
 difiip-
 
 ^4 PEREGRINE. 
 
 dilappointment which, had I not been 
 brought up to higher profpedls, I (hould 
 fcaicely have felt. From a pubhc fchool, 
 to which the prejudices of my uncle had fen t 
 me on the death of my father, his fondnefs, 
 which had increafed, removed me to the 
 Univerfity, where my allowance was as 
 fplendid as though I had been born heir 
 to thq, bed eftate in the county. From a 
 natui-al imprudence of youth, 1 lived even 
 beyond this liberal appointment, nor did 
 my extravagance appear altogether unpar- 
 donable, as the fortune of my uncle, ac- 
 quired by a long and fuccefsful commerce, 
 was great. Every one flattered me, and, 
 to confefs the truth, I flattered mylelf that 
 1 fhould be his heir. His incrcafing affec- 
 tions, and even occafional aflurance, aug- 
 mented this perfuafion;^' You may conceive 
 my furprife, Sir, when being at Oxford 
 
 about
 
 PEREGRINE. Is 
 
 about fix months ago, I received a letter 
 that my uncle was dead — that he had been 
 buried by the cares of another relation, 
 but that my attendance was expeded upon 
 the opening of his will. 
 
 " I arrived on the appointed day. The will 
 was opened. The eftate and whole perfonal 
 property of my uncle were left to another, 
 a nephew indeed, as well as myfelf, but 
 one whofe worthlefs condudl had long alien- 
 ated from him the affeflions of my uncle. 
 A legacy of five hundred pounds was all that 
 was left to myfelf; but the ufual appointment 
 for my expences at the Univerfity being 
 unpaid, it was reduced almoft as foon a^ I 
 received it, to lefs than a hundred and 
 fifty. With fuoh a capital it was madnefs lo 
 think of returning to Oxford ; notiiing 
 therefore remained but to employ the Iniall 
 remains of my legacy in fuch a manner as 
 
 VOL. I. c nV'^i t
 
 26 PEREGRINE. 
 
 might contribute to my future fupport, and 
 to endeavour, by thofe talents which Nature 
 had given me, and the advantages I had 
 received from education, to enter into a 
 profeflion from which I might expedl a 
 livelihood. 
 
 " A friend of my late uncle, who was from 
 infancy partial to me, and who, having him- 
 felf owed his fuccefs to his talents, had ob- 
 tained that mofl; ufeful of all knowledge, 
 the knowledge of life, not only confoled me 
 in my difappointment, but advifed me to 
 awaken all my efforts, and feek my fortune 
 in the metropolis. Such, Sir,'* continued 
 he, is the objedb of my prefent journey." 
 
 Pcrgrine here concluded. 
 
 CHAP.
 
 rEREORINH. ?7 
 
 CHAP. HI. 
 
 Circumstances o^nitted by Peregri?ie, but 
 which it is necessary for the Reader to 
 knaw» 
 
 JlJjVERY biographer fince Plutarch, has 
 confidered it an invariable rule in that branch 
 of writing, that whoever has approved him- 
 felf a hero in his mature life, has exhibited, 
 even in infancy, fome figns of his future 
 eminence. Thus was the early prowefs cf 
 Hercules marked by flrangling ferpents in 
 his cradle 5 and thus, with equal probabi- 
 c 2 lity.
 
 20 PEREGRINE. 
 
 lity, it Is related of Xenophon, that being 
 loft in a wood when an infant, he was fed 
 by a hive of bees. We have nothing fimllar 
 to fay of Peregrine ; he has already himfelf 
 related the greater part of his Hfe to this 
 point of our hiftory. He has omitted, how- 
 ever, fome few circumftances, either not 
 knowing them himfelf, or not thinking it 
 neceflary to communicate them to his friend; 
 but as they will enable the reader to under- 
 Hand our future narrative, we (hall here 
 briefly relate them. 
 
 Upon the night of the firfh Wednefday in 
 January, in the' year 17 — , the officers of 
 
 the parifn of L , according to their 
 
 ancient praclice, had their annual meeting. 
 The overfeers of the poor had met together 
 at the alehoufe of the village, and, in com- 
 'pliance with old cuftom, ordered a dinner, 
 the expence of which was little (hort of half 
 4 the
 
 PEREGRINE. 29 
 
 the fum they had to diilribute among the 
 paupers o' the pari(h. It was the peculiar 
 bead of the overfecrs of the parifh of L 
 that their rates, from their own ingenuity, 
 were lower than thofe of any other parilli of 
 the like extent in the county. To preferve 
 this credit, oreat caution had always been 
 obfervcd in the choice of thefe ofiicer-. A 
 farmer who, from fomsthing f/milar in his 
 charader, was only known by the name of 
 Little Ifaac, had exerciled this ofFice the 
 current year; and it was to examine and to 
 pafs his accounts that the entertainment 
 above mentioned was given. 
 
 It was the laudable cuftom in thefe parifh 
 feafts thatpleafure andbulinefs fhouldbe kept 
 asdiflindastheirdifferent natures indeed feem 
 to require ; and thus, that the reli(h of the 
 dinner and wines might not be fpoiled from 
 any intermixture of more ferious affairs, the 
 c 3 fettlement
 
 30 PEREGRINl. 
 
 fcttlement of the accounts was pollponed 
 till the moment they were about to retire. 
 Nor v/as this regulation without wifdom ; 
 for as it is the well-known eifed of wine to 
 open the heart, and fometimes the purfe, 
 iiiany articles were pafTed under this influ- 
 ence, which might otherwife have excited 
 more notice* 
 
 , It was now evening, and the generous 
 hearts of the parifh elders were warmed by 
 the generous wines with which they were 
 already beginning to ftagger, when they to 
 a man indulged in praifes of the good 
 
 parifh of L , and more particularly of 
 
 the peculiar excellencies of their poor regu- 
 lations. 
 
 " Gentlemen," faid Farmer Squeeze, 
 " folks may fay what they will, but I defy 
 them to produce a parifli in all England 
 where the poor are more cheaply maintained 
 
 than
 
 PEREGRINE. 3I 
 
 than in this pariQi of L . In other 
 
 parifhes the poor have been doubled and 
 trebled in number by the negligence of 
 the overfcers ; in our*s, on the. contrary, they 
 have been annually on the decreafe. I have 
 been overfeer four feveral times, and I think; 
 I may fay a bold word, and defy any man to 
 tell me to my face, that a vagrant has ever 
 been allowed to fettle, or burthen us w'lih 
 his fupport. And though I fliould lay it, 
 yet I hope, gentlemen, you will excufe the 
 feeming vanity, but many the marriage that 
 Farmer Squeeze has prevented, left the pariih- 
 Ihould be overrun with a beggarly brood of 
 brats. Many, many, neighbour, has been 
 the match which. I have forbidden at the 
 Church -doors." 
 
 The honeft farmer had no fooner finiflied 
 the delivery of his eloquence, the enumera- 
 tion of his virtues, and the fervices he had 
 c 4 done
 
 32 FEREGRINE. 
 
 done for them, than, at the propofal of the 
 chairman, the whole coinpany arofe upoQ 
 their legs, and drank Farmer Squeeze and 
 
 the good parifti of L , with cheers, and 
 
 three times three. Every one appeared to 
 unite .wilhrgly in this hearty tellimony to 
 the fcrvices of the worthy man; but one of 
 the company feemed to be not without fome 
 envy of his glory, and when he had drunk 
 the toaft, thus addrelTcd the farmer : — 
 ' *• 1 do not mean to object to your fcrvices, 
 Mr, Squeeze, but you will pleafe to recol- 
 ledt that I have been overfeer four times, as 
 well as yourfeif, and I believe my conduct 
 is as good as your's.*' 
 
 *« May be fo. Farmer Famine,** replied 
 Squeeze ; *' but I only wi(h to afk the gen- 
 'tlemen prefent one queflion. Who was it, I 
 fey — who wa3 it eflabhfiied barley-bread 
 
 and
 
 PEREGRINE, 3J 
 
 axnd potato-pudding, and thus lefTened the 
 rates a hundred per cent .^" 
 
 <' You! you!' cried the whole afTcmbly 
 with loud plaudits. 
 
 *' And i\ho was it," faid Famine, fome- 
 what difconcerted by t'us applaufe of his 
 rival — " who was it, 1 fa}^, that purchafed 
 up all the bones of the neighbourhood, 
 difiblved them into a digeft, and made foup 
 at the rate of a penny per gallon, and thus 
 fupported the poor of the pariQi through the 
 whole of the lad hard winter? Who was 
 it, I fay, received the thanks of the Soup 
 Societies, and a medal from"Spital-Fields ?'* 
 
 The rojm ag:-\in refounded with the ap- 
 plaufe of Famine, 
 
 ** Gentlemen." faid Little Ifaac, ^' you 
 
 have been pleafed toteftify your approbation 
 
 of my brother-officers, Squeeze and Faaiine; 
 
 I will not venture to enter into any com- 
 
 c 5 petition
 
 34 PEREGRINE. 
 
 petition with the merits of thefe gentlemen 3 
 but as I have exerted my utmoft efforts to 
 give fatisfadion, I confefs I am not without 
 defirc that you will be pleafed to beflow on 
 me a teftimony of your approbation. Gen- 
 tlemen, 1 have been in office for the whole 
 of this year ; and during that time never for 
 a moment can I charge myfelf with having 
 forgotten the duties of an overfeer, that is to 
 fay, the interefl of the good parifli of 
 
 L- . That I may mention only one 
 
 of my actions upon the firft day I 
 
 entered on my office, I prevented three 
 marriageSy which doubtlefs would have 
 proved a great future burthen, for two of 
 the fellows were Irifhmen, poachers y and, 
 as fuch, upon high feeding. They have 
 fince almoft flocked the pariHi to which I 
 got them removed. To two of the women 
 I gave a couple of guineas to go into fervice 
 
 ia
 
 PEREGRINE. J5 
 
 in the neighbouring parifli, procured them 
 places, and thus contrived to gain them 
 fettlements at the expence of our neighbours. 
 I prevented the third marriage by boldly 
 prohibiting the banns in the face of the 
 congregation. I have removed more than 
 a dozen trave'lers, who were fo near bur- 
 thening the parifh with their funerals, that 
 eight out of the dozen died in the cart as I 
 was carrying them away. I took care, how- 
 ever, that they did not die, or at leafl that 
 their death was concealed till I gained the 
 bounds of another parifh. I have only to 
 add the laft, and what I hope will not be 
 the lead acceptable of my fervices as your 
 overiecr, and that is, that the dinner of 
 which you have partaken t h is day, was ordered, 
 and all its articles feleded by me j and that 
 you may recal the merits, I will, by your 
 leave, gentlemen, read over the bill, which the 
 publican has this moment put into my hands. 
 c6 The
 
 ^6 PEREGRINE, 
 
 The Overseers of ^he Poor, and Gentlemen of 
 
 the Parish of L , 
 
 To Jeremy Spukger, of the Greyhound, 
 
 of. s. d. 
 
 To 24 couples of fowls, part boiled, and 
 
 partroafied 6 
 
 To roafting and boiling the fame- 12 
 
 To bread fauce for the fame 10 6 
 
 To four fillets of veal, lOlb. each, at 
 
 Is. 6d. per lb. ' 3 
 
 To cooking the lame ••• 14 
 
 To fluffing the fame with materials - 5 
 
 'i'o Shams, 1 /lb. each, at 2s. 6d. perlb.---- 4 5 
 
 To paftr^T-, puddings, &c. &c. &c. 4 13 4 
 
 To melted butter for the veal and puddings 18 
 To 13 gallons of fpirits, brandy, rum, Hol- 
 lands, &c. &c. 11 15 
 
 To fugar for brandy and water and the 
 
 puddings 14 
 
 To 12 doze-n of port, at 21. per dozen .•••24 
 To fun dries not expreffible — pipes, tobacco, 
 lemons, drams before dinner, and Glou- 
 
 cefiier and Chefliire cheefes after 2 10 6 
 
 To cafh given by order to a poor woman, 
 v/ho came to afk relief at the time the 
 gentlemen were at dinner, having fix 
 
 children and a bedridden hufband 7| 
 
 To a pint of Imall beer for the fame 1 {- 
 
 By Order of the Overfecrs — ■ 
 
 of the roor, £ oO 8 1 
 
 Ic
 
 PERICRINE. 37 
 
 It is needlefs to add that Little Ifaac ob- 
 tained a well-merited applaufe, his health 
 being drunk, with a general cheer, and an 
 unaniiiious huzza to Little Ilaac and the 
 
 paridi of L . The bill was difcharged 
 
 without a murmur, the accounts pafTcd, 
 and prefented to the officers of the following 
 year ; and with fuch examples, every thing 
 was expelled from them. •• 
 
 The entertainment over, and the night 
 far advanced, each retired to his home. 
 Little Ifaac, Famine, and Squeeze, perhaps 
 from a fimilitude of their merits, had united 
 in company; and the party had juft gained 
 the door of the former, when they beheld 
 a young woman lying immediately acrofs 
 their way. 
 
 It was now near ten o'clock, in the middle 
 of a winter nigiit -, the wind was (harp, and 
 
 the
 
 3$ PEREGRINE. 
 
 the fnow almoft. covered the ground. The. 
 ftranger was rather unfuitably, than ill dad. 
 
 *' What do you here, good woman ?'* 
 exclaimed Little Ifaac. 
 
 " I have nowhere elfe to reft," /he replied 
 mournfully. *' Alas, I am only a burthen to 
 the world !" 
 
 *' And was it neceflary," faid Famine, 
 " that of all places in the world, you fhould 
 chufe out our pariQi to bear this burthen ?** 
 
 *' Do not reproach me, good Sir," re- 
 turned the poor objed j " I fhall not live 
 long 1" 
 
 *' Not live long !'' faiJ Squeeze. ** Hark- 
 ye, good woman ! here is half-a-crown for 
 you, but haften to the next parifh — you 
 will be there fure of a decent burial 1 Come— 
 I take an intereft in your welfare 3 hailen to 
 the next parilh — they have an apothecary 
 there V\ 
 
 *' Conie^
 
 PEREGRINE. 39 
 
 " Come, good woman,'* repeated Famine 
 and liaac, '* get up ; and the worfe you are, 
 the fooner you had befl haften to the next 
 pariih.'' 
 
 It was at this moment that Peter, an old 
 fervant of the Rev. Dr. Hawthorne, the 
 worthy Redor of the parifli, happened to 
 pafs in his way home. With a natural in- 
 quifitivenefs he drew near the place, and at 
 once, on perceiving the objecft, felt for her 
 diftrefs. Peter had never been an overfeer, 
 and had indeed few qualities by which to 
 arrive at that office in the parifh of L . 
 
 ** She cannot haften to the next parifh,*' 
 faid he, in anfwer to the lad words of the 
 honeft farmers, *' and why can you defirc 
 it, when there are houfes enough at hand ? — 
 Mr. Squeeze,*' he added, '* your houfe is 
 neareft, and I will call your wife to this poor 
 woman's afriftance.** 
 
 Peter
 
 40 PEREGRINE. 
 
 ' peter was now alert in this errrn-l, when 
 Squeeze in great terror caught his arm. — 
 " My wife is from home," faid he ; " but — 
 but — hark-ye, good fellow — my neighbour 
 Famine's wife !" 
 
 " She will do as well,** interrupted Peter; 
 ** and now I think of it, Mrs. Famine's houfe 
 is clofe by." 
 
 ** My wife r cried Famine, aghaft with 
 terror, and arrefting him by the arm, "my 
 wife IS on a vilit to her daughter- in law ; 
 but then, my neighbour Ifaac's wife !'* 
 
 " Thank you, neighbour, for your good 
 intentions," cried Ifaac, catching his lad 
 words, ** but my wife, friend (to Peter) is 
 better em.ployed than to attend upon fick 
 vagrants and begi^ars.*' 
 
 ** And is the woman to die upon your 
 fteps r" cried Peter. 
 
 '« Oh Loid, no — I hope not !" replied 
 
 Ifaac,
 
 PEREGRINE. 4I 
 
 Ifaac, *' for then vvc fliall have to hnry 
 her !" 
 
 Peter, whofe heart felt as much pity for 
 the poor wretch as fcorn and contempt for 
 the ovcrfeers, faid not a word, but took to 
 his heels, and ran to the parfonage. Entering 
 the parlour wit\i fome abruptnefs, he ac- 
 quainted the Dodlor with the fubje61: of his 
 embaffy. 
 
 •* Merciful Heaven 1" exclaimed the 
 
 Dodlor, as Peter finifhed the ftory, ** lying 
 
 on the fteps fuch a night as this 1 Is there 
 
 no one to afTift her ? — Did you leave her 
 
 • alone ?" 
 
 " No/' cried Peter, *^ I left her with 
 the overfeers." 
 
 *^ Then (he is fafe, poor creature 1'* 
 replied the Doclor, 
 
 « Is fhe fo ?" faid Peter. " No, Sir, 
 you are mlllaken, for the overfeers are only 
 
 talking
 
 42 PEREGRINE. 
 
 talking of burying her j and they even want 
 to hurry her off to the next parilh, for fear 
 of that burthen falling on themfelves. Hea- 
 ven forgive them !*' 
 
 " I will not fay that," replied the Doflor, 
 " but may Heaven fend them fuch human 
 punifliment as may foften their heart?, and 
 thus fccure them from the more dreadful 
 menace of the future I But come, let us 
 go to her afiiftance/' 
 
 Peter now ran before, and the Doctor 
 with a flower, but no iels willing (lep, fol- 
 lowed him. 
 
 They foon reached the fpot, but the 
 woman was not there. Peter in fome afto- 
 nifhment looked around him. Nodiing was 
 to be feen — the woman was gone. 
 
 *' You fee, Peter," cried the Dodlor, 
 *' you have judged too haftily ; you have 
 imputed to theie men a hard-heartednefs 
 
 and
 
 PEREGRINE. 43 
 
 and a want of Chriftian charity, \\'hich 
 do not belong to them. They have, 
 doubtlefs, taken proper care of this poor 
 defolate Itranger ; they have doubtlefs re- 
 ceived her into their poor-houfe.*' 
 
 Peter made no reply to his mafter, but 
 continued to look around him. Upon the 
 oppofite fide of the way a road opened into 
 the village, which, paffing over a high hill, 
 led to the next parilh. Peter here heard 
 the found of voices, and knew them to be 
 the overfeers. He then perfuaded the Doc- 
 tor to follow him along the road. They 
 loon gained the hill, and by the light of the 
 moon refiedled by thcfnow upon the ground, 
 perceived a cart before them. The cart 
 almoft at the fame moment flopped by an 
 old ruined barn on the road fide. 
 
 '' It is the overfeers," faid Peter i " 1 
 know their voices.'* 
 
 *« What
 
 44 PEREGRINE, 
 
 '« What are they about ?" fald the 
 Dodor. 
 
 ** AVe w ill approach, and fee,'* returned 
 Peter. 
 
 They approached, therefore, a few paces 
 nearer, fo as to hear and fee all that was 
 tranfaded. Meantime, the overfeers had 
 depofited their burthen, whatever it was, 
 and were preparing to return. 
 
 *^ What if this fchetne of ouf's diould 
 come to be known ?" faid Little Ifaac. 
 
 " Never fear,** faid Famine ; ** the woman 
 will die before morning, and the dead, you 
 know, tell no tales ; and as to any diflionefty 
 in it, I can fee none. T'other parifh can 
 better afford to bury her than our's." 
 
 " But are you fure,'* faid Squeeze, '« that 
 this barn where we have lodged her, is pot 
 in the bounds of our own pariQi ? Is that 
 matter clear, neighbour ?'* 
 
 " Clear 1—
 
 PEREGRINE. 45 
 
 « Clear I— yes, yes — I'll fwear to that,** 
 replied Famine. " Come, n.y lads, we have 
 done a good job, and added one mare to our 
 merits as overfeers. Coiae, we have nothing 
 to fear ; there is no one who fees, hears, or 
 can punilh us." 
 
 ** You are deceived, fellow 1" cried the 
 Doctor, hurrying up> and addrefTuig him 
 with uniifual vehemence ; *« there is one who 
 fees, who hears, and will punifh you ; there 
 is one from whofe eyes the deeds of darknefs 
 can never be hid, and from whofe juftice no 
 adt of cruelty can ever efcape unpunillied. 
 Shame upon you ! — Do you forget that you 
 wear the fhapes of men, and bear the holy 
 name of Chriftians ? — and is it with the 
 life of a fellow-creature you thus fport ? — 
 Fetch back the woman, place her in the 
 cart, and attend her to my houfe," con- 
 tinued
 
 46 PEREGRINE. 
 
 tinued the Dodtor, with all his natural 
 vehemence. 
 
 The fellows were awed by his manner 
 into immediate obedience. The woman 
 was replaced, the cart refumed its road, and 
 the Dodtor and Peter did not quit its lide 
 till theyfaw the poor objedl of their charity 
 fafely conveyed to the Parfonage, and recom- 
 mended to the care of the houfekeeper. She 
 was immediately carried to a bed ; and 
 though the Do(5tor's houfekeeper was a 
 woman of real charity, and would not have 
 negledted her charge, had the poor wretch 
 committed to her care been as poor as 
 Lazarus, her attention perhaps affumed 
 more relped when fhe difcovered, upon 
 undrefling her, fome circumftances which 
 infpired her with a more favourable opinion. 
 In a word, by the cares of this worthy 
 
 domeftic.
 
 PEREGRINE. 47 
 
 doraeftic, the young woman was in a few 
 days reftored to her former ftrength, and 
 exhibited, on her recovery, an elegance of 
 perfon and manners which well juftified the 
 favourable prejudices that had been enter- 
 tained of her. 
 
 As fhe opened her eyes, on the return of 
 her ftrength, on this refpefVable attendant — 
 ** Alas !" faid fhe, " is there indeed one 
 who ftill retains a care for a poor unfortunate 
 like me ? — am I not as yet wholly defolate ? 
 Alas, I have not merited it ! — I have done 
 nothing to deferve this perfecution !" 
 
 " I will anfwer for it that you have not,** 
 replied the good woman ; "but you are now 
 in careful hands. My mafter is one of the 
 rnofl: benevolent of men j to be unfortunate 
 is claim enough on his efforts to relieve you. 
 Whoever you are, whether you have loft 
 the protedlion of a father's houfe by any 
 
 imprudence
 
 4? PEREGRINE. 
 
 imprudence of your own, or whether your 
 misfortunes be of another kind, you are alike 
 fecure of his affiftance." 
 
 " I owe my life to your charity,'* replied 
 the young woman. " I have been driven, but 
 not for crimes^ from the home on which I 
 had a claim for proledion. I have wandered 
 till my feet refufed any longer to fupport my 
 weight. I funk down upon the fteps of a 
 heartlefs wretch, and v/as upon the point of 
 perifliing with wearinefs. Your mafter, like 
 my guardian angel, was at hand, and deli- 
 vered me from my impending fate. May 
 Heaven preferve you ! may it return in 
 bleilings of ten thoufand fold upon the head 
 of my benefadtor, what he has done forme !" 
 
 To make fliort of our narrative, this ob* 
 jed of the benevolence of the worthy Redlor 
 was foon recovered ; and relating her ftory 
 to him with all the franknefs of innocence, 
 
 file
 
 P£R£CRIN£. 49 
 
 flie made that impreflion upon his goodnefs, 
 that, having no other afylum, he compelled 
 her to accept that of his own houfe. 
 
 It is not to our prefent purpofe to relate 
 the various incidents of her (lory ; it is 
 fufiicient to fay here that it had little in it 
 of the charader of romance ; her misfortune 
 was not of an uncommon kind, but one of 
 thofe in which thoufands are every day 
 involved. 
 
 The Dodlor having taken the pains of an 
 enquir}'-, received full proof of every circum- 
 ftance (lie had related; and, in defpite of 
 the loquacity of the goflips of the village, 
 after a few months married her. 
 
 Of this marriage was Peregrine the only 
 iflue. His mother furvived his birth but a 
 few months, and the grief of his father for 
 her death haftened Ids own. 
 
 Peregrine, as he has related himfelf, 
 VOL. r. D devolved
 
 5© PEREGRINE. 
 
 devolved into the protedVion of his uncle. 
 With the other circuiTiflances of his fitua- 
 tion to the prefent moment, the reader is 
 already acquainted. Behold him now about 
 to enter upon the fcene oflife without friends, 
 without patronage, and almoft without 
 money. 
 
 CHAP. IV. 
 
 R. GAVASTONE was fo much pleafed 
 with the addrefs and franknefs of Peregrine, 
 that he compelled him, upon their arrival 
 in town, to accompany him to his own houfe* 
 Receiving a card from his fervant as he en- 
 tered — '' This is as I could wilh,*' faid he, 
 4 as
 
 PEREGRINE. 51 
 
 as he exaiiiined the fuperfcriptlon. *' J 
 beheve, Sir," he continued, turning to 
 Peregrine, *^ that we (hall have little diffi- 
 culty in finding a fituation that may fuit 
 
 you, Mr. , a friend of mine, is to 
 
 dine with me to-day. He has long been 
 in want of a Secretary, and I make no 
 doubt but that my recommendation will 
 be decifive. Mr. ■ is a foreigner, 
 
 and is the proprietor of one of the moft 
 invaluable inventions of the day : I need 
 
 not fay that I mean his M T s. He 
 
 profefles, by a limple operation of half an 
 hour, to cure difeafes which have baffled the 
 whole power of medicine. Tooth-aches, 
 confumptions, corns, catarrhs, all fubmit to 
 this invincible remedy ; they all difappear, 
 and are all difperfed by the (imple touch of 
 
 the M T s. But you mufl: notex- 
 
 ped in Mr. a man of the befl manners 
 
 D 2 pofliblc i 
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 UrilYERSlTY OF WJUlNOli
 
 52 -, PEREGRINE. 
 
 pofiible; he confiders himfelf above all the 
 common forms of politenefs, and treats the 
 phyficlans of the day who have attacked him, 
 with what he calls merited contempt /'* 
 
 Mr. entered tl.e room as his friend 
 
 concluded thefe words, and Peregrine per- 
 ceived the juftice of Gavaftone's remarks. 
 In fome converfation which fucceeded their 
 dinner. Peregrine could not avoid being 
 
 furprifed at the lingular delufion of ; 
 
 for whatever attacks had been made againft: 
 him in the numerous pamphlets, he faw that 
 he was no lefs a dupe himfelf than the moft 
 credulous of his patrons. A kind of unde- 
 figning honefty appeared in his countenance, 
 which Peregrine jullly confidered as charac- 
 teriftic of a mind above deception. He 
 could almoft even have pardoned his folly, 
 had it not been accompanied by fomething 
 of an unchariub-e acrimony, and an unjuft 
 
 feverity
 
 PEREGRINE. S3 
 
 fevcrity againft the regular profeflbrs, the 
 duty of vvhofe iituation compelled them to 
 expofe the futility of the invention. Indeed 
 this might have been in fome degree imputed 
 to the nature of the attack made upon him -, 
 for as the profeffion juftly confidered the 
 quackery as beneath argument, they con- 
 tented themfclvesby aflaulting him with ridi- 
 cule alone. But there is fome foily too 
 obftinate to be rooted out by raillery, and 
 there was always weaknefs enough in the 
 world to puronize inventions of fliil greater 
 abfurdicy. 
 
 It is needle's to fay that the recommend- 
 ation of Gavaftone was effectual. Peregrine 
 was engaged as Secretary, to record the 
 cures of the new Difpenfary, die propofals 
 for which had already filled half the papers 
 
 of the day. He retired with > early in 
 
 D 3 the
 
 54 PEREGRINE. 
 
 the evening, and on the following morning 
 commenced the exercife of his fituation. 
 
 It was fcarcely within th^ power of Pere- 
 grine to reftrain a propenfity to laughter as 
 he proceeded in this employment. A mul- 
 titude of patients, crippled with gouts and 
 rheumatifms of many years flanding, had 
 the afioniihing credulity to expefl the reco- 
 very of their former ftrength and agility from 
 the application of the M T- s. 
 
 The effedls of this credulity were fubjefls 
 of fliil greater furprifcj for fo lively was the 
 impreflion made upon the imagination of 
 the patients, that they adually fancied them- 
 felves, if not wholly cured, at leaft more 
 than half relieved of their complaints. They 
 did not hefitate to teftify the efficacy of the 
 operation, nor were they undeceived them- 
 felves till, having got a few paces from the 
 
 door^
 
 PEREGRINE. 55 
 
 door, the delufion evaporated, and the 
 cripple of the laft hour, even In defpite of 
 
 the M T— s, was the cripple of the 
 
 next. But it was not worth while to return ; 
 the former teftimony was uncontradidted, 
 and the cure was publifhed as an additional 
 argument of the undoubted efficacy of the 
 M T s. 
 
 The patronage of a Nobleman, more cele- 
 brated for his liberal encouragement of every 
 quackery than any peculiar talent, added a 
 celebrity to the inftitution, which it would 
 otherwife have wanted, and thus called upoa 
 it the attention of the eftabliihed profelTion ; 
 and to awaken the public, it was propofed 
 to fend fome patients to the Diipenfary, 
 where the proprietor, in prefence of the 
 delegated phyfician, fliould exhibit proofs of 
 the efficacy of his pradice. 
 
 Mr. , who, as we before mentioned, 
 
 D 4 rea//y
 
 ^ 56 PEREGRINE. 
 
 really believed in the fovereign merits of tiic 
 
 M T s, received this invitation 
 
 with rapture, confident that it would ferve 
 no other purpofe than to eflablilh on a 
 
 fiimer bafis the credit of the M practice. 
 
 A day therefore was fixed, and Peregrine 
 commanded to prepare to record the cures, 
 and (what the proprietor did not doubt 
 would be the event) the fall convidion of 
 the College of Phyficians. 
 
 Such was the delufion into which a man, 
 in other refpeds not without natural faga- 
 city, had fallen. 
 
 The day arrived, the patients attended, 
 
 and , in full confidence of the efficacy 
 
 of his invention, commenced his operation ; 
 Kor did it fail of its ufual effed:. The ima- 
 gination of many of the patients led them 
 into the fond belief that they were aflually 
 cured 3 and as no one accompanied them 
 
 into
 
 PEREGRINE. 57 "^ 
 
 into the flreet, triumphed without 
 
 detedlion. But his felf- congratulation was 
 foon interrupted by a general burft of laugh- 
 ter from th.e atiendmg phyficians, Mr. ■ 
 in Ibme confufion demanded the caufe. It 
 appeared that one of the phyficians, by the 
 
 exprefs defire of , had conien^ed to 
 
 operate with a pair ofthe T— — s. Mr.— 
 had {uppiied him with a pair for that pur- 
 pofe ; but the Dodor had contrived to 
 exchange them for a pair of wooden in/iru* 
 ments of the fame fhape and appearance. 
 
 Thele woodert T s appeared to have the 
 
 fame effect as the M T s. The 
 
 patients declared themfelves fully relieved 
 from the greater part of their former pain, 
 and departed with many blefTings upon the 
 heads of their benefadlors. 
 
 This argument, however ludicrous, was 
 
 decifive, and regarded his adverfaries 
 
 i> 5 with
 
 fS PEREGRINE. 
 
 with fome confufion. Peregrine was un- 
 willing to be any longer an accomplice in 
 what he was convinced to be a grofs decep- 
 tion, and to owe its effeds, if it had any, 
 to the imagination of the patient alone. He 
 loft no time in demanding his difmifTal ; and 
 in cotupany with a fellow Secretary, who 
 could not fupport the ridicule with which 
 this incident overwhelmed the whole fociety, 
 
 departed from thefervice of . This latter 
 
 gentkman was fome time before he recovered 
 his former confidence. There is no credulity 
 more obftiiiate than that in which intereft is 
 
 blended. Mr. 's confidence therefore 
 
 has at length returned, and his M 
 
 T -s, in his own convidtion at leaft, are 
 
 as efficacious as ever. Such is the effedl of 
 natural credulity. 
 
 Peregrine was much pleafed with the 
 converfation of his friend and fellow Secre- 
 tary 5
 
 PEREGRINE. ^^ 
 
 rary; and as the morning; was far advanced, 
 they adjourned to a coffee- houfe to dine 
 together. Peregrine exprefled his furprifc 
 that their late employer could be poffeiTed 
 with fuch credulity, and the more particu- 
 larly as he underftood him to have received 
 his education at a celebrated American 
 College. 
 
 " I can readily believe him," replied the 
 other ; '^ for as I know what an American 
 College is, I have no difficulty in believing 
 that it tan emit fuch an offspring. When 
 you hear the word College, you form no other 
 iniage of it in your mind, than that of an 
 inftitution limilar to thofe of your own 
 country. But an American College is a 
 thing of a very different nature ; it is infadt 
 little better than a grammar-fchool, and 
 learning is almoft as rare in America as in 
 the Cape of Good Hope.*' 
 
 D 6 ** But
 
 6o PEREGRINE. 
 
 ** But what brought him to this country ?*' 
 faid Peregrine. 
 
 " Becaufe he knew it to be the land of 
 adventurers,'* replied the other, *' and the 
 only place upon the earth where the credu- 
 lity of the people promifed a favourable 
 
 reception to his M T s. This in- 
 
 ventor, like others of the fame clafs, was aC 
 firft doubtful of his own invention. A 
 concurrence of fools has improved his diffi- 
 dence into confidence ; and he has chofen 
 the only ftage where he can have any hopes 
 of Riccefs. London is almoft the only city 
 in the four quarters of the world where 
 every folly and every merit are received with 
 
 equal kindnefs and impartiality. Mr. , 
 
 however, compared with other quacks, will 
 gain fomething in the comparifon : he is the 
 dupe of his own folly ; and if he deceives 
 others, he is equally deceived himfelf. His 
 
 patron J
 
 PEREGRINE. 6l 
 
 patron, the Earl 'of , is the never- 
 
 faUing refource of all the adventurers of the 
 country; and from no Oiher motive than 
 real, but miftaken benevolence, encourages 
 every folly, however extraordinary its na- 
 ture, with equalliberality." 
 
 The converfation took a turn to what 
 was necefTary to be done in purfuit of a new 
 fituation ; and Peregrine difcovered that the 
 condition of his friend had been little lefs 
 defolate than his own. He was a young 
 man of fome merit -, he had received a com- 
 mon education J but at the point when it 
 might have been of ufe to him, he had lo(fc 
 thofe friends from whom he expeded an 
 eftablifhment in life. 
 
 Being thus thrown upon the world, he 
 had hitherto fought his way — a merit not 
 to be defpifed ; and without any other fup- 
 port than that of his own indullry, or any 
 
 other
 
 6z PEREGRINE. 
 
 Other advifer than his own natural fagacity, 
 he had efcaped the ufaal errors of inexpe- 
 rience; and by a laudable economy had 
 colledled a fufficient fum to embark in a 
 life of greater emolument and certainty. In 
 a word, he was of a charadter more ufeful 
 than fplendid ; and had Peregrine known 
 how to value him, he might have avoided 
 many of the errors of his future life. 
 
 After fome more converfation upon the 
 
 finguLar folly of , Peregrine and the 
 
 friendly clerk feparated ; and the former, 
 to be more at leifure to refledl upon his con- 
 dition, direded his {leps towards the Park, 
 
 CHAP.
 
 PEREGRINE* ^3 
 
 CHAP. V. 
 
 ^ S Peregrine was buried in thefe thoughts 
 upon his prefent condition, he was fuddenly 
 arrefted by fome one feizing hitn by the 
 arm ; and on turning round, he recognifed 
 a perfon whom he had formerly known in a 
 humble fituation at the Univerlity. He was 
 a young man, the fon of a Nobleman's 
 butler 3 but by an accident not very uncom- 
 mon, and the caufe of which we fhall leave 
 to the conjefture of our readers, was born 
 within fomething lefs than the ufual period of 
 th« marriage of his mother. The Nobleman, 
 
 for
 
 64 PEREGRINE, 
 
 for fome reafon or another, took a fancy to 
 this fon of his butler ; he ftood his god- 
 father, gave him an education infinitely 
 beyond his condition, and had he not died 
 fuddenly, would doubtlefs have liberally 
 provided for him. By this event, however, 
 young Dexter was left, at the age of eigh- 
 teen, in polTefTion of every tafte and accooi- 
 plifhment of fuperior life, but without a 
 penny. ' 
 
 The Curate of the parifli having taken a 
 fancy to the boy, in whcfe education he had 
 been previouily concerned, and unwilling 
 that ail that i.ad been done fliould be loft, 
 from his wanting the means to complete 
 his ftudies, obtained him a fervitorlliip at 
 the Univerfity, and contributed from his 
 own pittance to his fupp.^rt. It was the 
 intention of this his fecond patron to 
 educate him for the Church 5 but his pupil 
 
 was
 
 PEREGRINE. 6^ 
 
 was no fooner within the walls of a College, 
 than other views and gayer profpeds were 
 opened to his happy ingenuity. 
 
 An Univerfity may judly be compared to 
 the world in miniature'; and in abodes which, 
 in the common-place language of the day, 
 are fo falfely called the af)lums of fcience, 
 every paffion, every caprice, every vanity, 
 and every chara(fler may be found as on the 
 greater ftage of life itfelf. It is well known 
 by every one who has been aftudent at thefe 
 feats of learning, that there is a certain clafs 
 of men who are called tuft -hunt ers^ an ap- 
 pellation which correfponds with that of 
 Toad-eaters in the more common vocabulary 
 of the world. 
 
 The fons of Noblemen, by a praflice in- 
 deed not very confident with that equality 
 which (hould always prevail in the republic 
 of letters, and the dignity which might be 
 
 expeded
 
 66 PEREGRINE. 
 
 expeded in thofe awful feats of fcience, are 
 diftlnguiflied from their fellow-fludents by 
 gold tufts or tafTels to their caps. Wherever 
 thcfe talTels are feen to depend from the 
 velvet level of the caps, thefe tuft-hunters 
 mark them out, and fly with eagernefs to 
 their prey. 
 
 Dexter, whofe ingenuity never mlfied an 
 opportunity of bettering his fortune, foon 
 perceived, and was refolutely bent on prac- 
 tifing the prevailing policy. Without lofs 
 of time he looked round for an objedt, 
 compared all the names of the tuffs with 
 their feveral dignities in the Court Calen- 
 dar, and enquired into the eftates, the 
 Church livings, and extent of Court patro- 
 nage which their fathers enjoyed. 
 
 His fagacity was much diftraded in the 
 choice he (hould make , but another and a 
 greater difHculty occurred, that of obtaining 
 
 an
 
 PEREGRINE. 6/ 
 
 ail introdudlion to any of them. The pride 
 of diflirKflion is more petulantly obferved by 
 fludents in a College, than in the greater 
 world itfelf ; and a fervitor has a more diftant 
 profpedl of being intimate with a Nobleman, 
 than a Curate of becoming Lord of the 
 Bedchamber. 
 
 His fuccefs was further impeded by an 
 obliacle which, to one not verfed in colle- 
 giate prejudices, would appear fomewhat 
 fingular. From habit, this young man had 
 contra(5led, in the courfe of his education 
 by the benevolent Curate, not only a fond- 
 nefs for ftudy, but at his firft entrance in 
 the Univerfity, from wanting the means of 
 all other pleafure, was wholly involved in 
 his books. This caufed him to be marked 
 in tl>e Univerfity phrafe as a dry fellow. A 
 fortunate accident, however, conduded him, 
 
 in
 
 6s PEREGRINE. 
 
 in defplte of thefe impediments, to the ob- 
 ject of his wilhes. A young Nobleman 
 being one evening chafed by the Prodlor's 
 men, and happening to run againft Dexter, 
 and by the violence of the concuflion throw- 
 ing him down, the young Peer thought it 
 neceflary to apologize; and, to render his 
 excufe more fatisfadory, nor only explained 
 the caufe of his hurry, but added, with 
 great eagernefs — " I have been caught fo 
 often, and fo lately, in this curfed affair, 
 that if I am taken to-night, I (hall be doubt- 
 lefs expelled." 
 
 " There is no efcape, I fear,'* replied 
 Dexter, *' for two of the Prodlor's bulldogs 
 have taken a (hort turn, and cut off your 
 retreat before^ as cfre<ftually as their com- 
 panions have behind,'* 
 
 *< What is to be done then ?" faid the 
 affrighted Nobleman. 
 
 << Slip
 
 PEREGRINE. 69 
 
 « Slip up this alley," faid the other. 
 *^ I will take it on myfelf ; I have never yet 
 been furprifed, and the iirft offence will be 
 overlooked." 
 
 To make fhort of the matter, the other 
 obeyed, and Dexter performed his promife. 
 From that day he became the conllant com- 
 panion of Lord Squander, the hopeful heir 
 of Yifcount Mortgage, Baron Foreclofe j 
 and to the credit cf Dexter be it fpoken, 
 that, however unpradifed hitherto in any of 
 the qualities of the Spunge, yet like other 
 great men, he had no fooner obtained his 
 place, than he Qiewed himfelf well fuited to 
 it. Was his Patron drunk, and at the 
 rooms of another — a diftinvStion which was 
 never forgotten, he was the firfl to fecond 
 bis vote, and follow him in the pra6lice of 
 breaking the furniture ; and did the one 
 throw the chair out of the window, the 
 
 other
 
 yO PEREGRINE. 
 
 other was ready behind him to fend the tahU 
 after it. Was Squander ever defirous of 
 indulging in a morning flumber, and cutting 
 chapel, Dexter was always ready to falfify 
 the report, and prick him down as there y or 
 take upon himfelfthe penalties of abfence. 
 
 Such was this young man as a tuft-hunter. 
 The death of the illuftrious Vifcount Mort- 
 gage, Baron Foreclole, recalled his no lefs 
 illuftrious heir, the Lord Squander, from 
 the Univerfity ; and Dexter had fufficiently 
 infmuated himfelf into the good graces of 
 his patron, to be admitted to attend him. 
 
 The young Vifcount Mortgage, on his 
 arrival in town, was introduced to every 
 company. Dexter had flill the good fortune 
 to attend him, and thus became naturalized 
 in all the routs and aflemblies of the de- 
 mireps and noble gamefters of the town. 
 His ingenuity ftill attended him \ in fpite 
 
 of
 
 PEREGRINE. yj 
 
 of the attributes of Fortune, he was ever 
 fuccefsful at play ; and his purfe was as well 
 rep!eni(hed, and his appearance as gay and 
 fplendid, as any of his aflbciates. In (hort, 
 he feemed as belonging to the ranks in which 
 he now moved, and was withal one of the 
 beft dreffed fellows of the day. 
 
 In fuch circumftances was he when Pere- 
 grine met him. After fome converfation iii 
 the ufual gaiety and franknefs of young men, " 
 Dexter demanded of Peregrine the caufe of 
 the unufual ferioufnefs fo vifibly impreiTed 
 upon his countenance. Peregrine had no 
 fcruples to confefs his real fituation. To do 
 jufxice to Dexter, he was not without a 
 confiderable portion of good humour, and 
 that benevolence which is by no means in- 
 confiftent with charadters of his ftamp. He 
 was, moreover, flattered by adopting the 
 caufe of Peregrine, whom h^ had formerly 
 
 known
 
 72 PEREGRINE, 
 
 known in a flate of much fplendour, and 
 who, in delpite of collegiate prejudices, bjid 
 not repulied his advances to intimacy. To 
 this might, perhaps, be added another kind 
 of vanity ; like the JaniiTaries of Turkey, 
 being a Have to one, he might wilh to in- 
 demnify himfelf by becoming a patron to 
 another. 
 
 'f Well, well," faid he, " your fituatlon 
 is indeed bad enough at prefent, but we 
 mayfind a Vv ay of bettering it; and," fliriking 
 his forehead, ** one has already fuggefted it- 
 felf. Come, let us go into this coffee-houfe, 
 and dine together." 
 
 Peregrine accepted the invitation, and they 
 entered. Being the proper hour, the dinner 
 was fet before them. This meal being dif- 
 palche!, and fitting down to their wine. 
 Peregrine demanded of him what he had 
 been doing in town, defirous to lead him 
 
 into
 
 PEREGRINE. 73 
 
 Into a communication of tlie means by which 
 he meant to ailifl him. Dexter repHed with 
 great gaiety, and related many anecdotes, 
 and dcfcribed many fcenes in the gaming- 
 houfes, routs, affemblies, and coteries through 
 which he had pafied. 
 
 Peregrine, who was lefs acquainted with 
 the town, exprelTcd much furprife -, and in 
 return to iome of his anecdotes upon the 
 fiibjed of gaming-houfes, demanded of 
 him whether there adlually were fuch efla- 
 bHfhments of them as he had defcribed. 
 
 " Yes,** replied the other, " every thing 
 improves, and gambling amo-ngil others. 
 Our old fathers, indeed, were accuftomed to 
 play for their amufement only ; and thus 
 gambling, with great propriety of phrafe, was 
 very fignificantly termed p/ay. We have 
 nov/ improved what was their amufement 
 into a fyftem, V/hat was play a hundred 
 
 VOL. I. E years
 
 74 PEREGRINE. 
 
 years ago, is now become biifinefs^ and their 
 Jiverjion is become our occupation. Gam- 
 bling is now a trade ; we embark in it as in 
 a commercial concern. We even engage in 
 joint companies ; partnerQiips are made, and 
 capitals, compofed of the (hares of the feveral 
 members, are put in a bank, and rilked in 
 traffic. Of one of thefe companies I am a 
 member , and as the firfh means of bettering 
 your fortune, Ihali introduce yoiu'' 
 
 " What," faid Peregrine, <« without 
 capital ! I — I have nothing to riik !" 
 
 " And theref;re/' replied the other, 
 " nothing to lofe, and every thing to gain. 
 Yes, without a capital, m.y friend. Had I 
 any capital when I began life ? What fays 
 our favourite Moliere ? Every one may 
 make a dinner out of meat : give me the 
 cook who can make one without. Come, 
 
 follow
 
 PEREGRINE. 75 
 
 follow me — I fnall now take you to the fcene 
 of aclion.'* 
 
 They now departed. It was already night. 
 Dexter called a coach ; and commanding 
 it to drive to the houfe of a certain Countefs 
 in St. James's-Square, he took his feat with 
 Peregrine. 
 
 " It may be of fome fervice to you," faid 
 Dexter, recommencing his former conver- 
 fat ion in their way hither, " to give you a 
 more full pidure of the fcene to which I am 
 about to introduce you. I have already 
 told you that there is fuch a thing as a 
 Joint Stock Company, a Commercial Con^ 
 federacy of gamblers. I am nov/ conduding 
 
 you to the houfe of the Countefs of , 
 
 Vvho any nevvfpnper will tell you is at the 
 
 head of one of them, and it happens to be 
 
 ,the one in which rayfelf and the Vifcount 
 
 are engaged. Unfortunately, thefc houfes 
 
 £ 2 are
 
 yo PEREGRINE. 
 
 are not fo v/ell locked upon by the magi- 
 llracy 5 but luckily, on the other hand, the 
 efforts of the magiftrates are not feconded 
 by the rigour of the laws : however well 
 inclined, they cannot break into our houfes, 
 but are obliged to take imperfecl means for 
 our detetSlion, which means it is our labour 
 to elude. Our doors and windows are thus 
 well barred, our fervants and chairmen are 
 broad-Qiouldered, mufcular, and fix feet 
 high ; and to be equal to the repulfj even of 
 a pojfe comitatus, we have a nu Tiber of well- 
 drelTed, fturdy young men, who appear to 
 be part of our company, but are in reality 
 only retained by us, and are mart! ailed, in 
 cafe of an attack, under a proper ofHcer at 
 their head. We are now in want of fuch an 
 ofHcer." 
 
 Then afTuredly," replied P^^^egrine, " I 
 
 fliall
 
 PEREGRINE. 77 
 
 fliall not fuit you, for I cannot reconcile 
 niyfelf to oppofe the laws of my country/' 
 
 " Plliaw ! have done with this fqueamifli- 
 ncfs !" interrupted the other. " But (liouid 
 not this fuit you, we have places of every 
 kind. Do not imagine that we carry on 
 things by halves ; we have our Clerks and 
 Secretaries as well as the moft fubflantial 
 banker in Lombard Street. The gains and 
 lolles of our Company are recorded with as 
 n^iuch regularity, and our books kept with as 
 conftant a balancing of Debtor and Per 
 Contra Creditor, as thofe of the Bank of 
 England, Take my advice, my friend, and 
 do not repel Fortune when (he comes to your 
 door. Have nothing to do with confcience 
 whild you have your fortune to make,*' 
 
 Tliey now arrived at a fplendid, fpacious, 
 
 and fubflantial houfe, where, after much 
 
 knocking, due precaution, and many exa- 
 
 £ 3 minations.
 
 73 PEREGRINE, 
 
 minations, they were admitted, and through 
 ■a long range of fervants^ chairmen, and 
 others, drawn up on each fide of the hall, 
 all. having fticks and poles, occaiionally 
 employed in other fervices than for what 
 they appeared fuited, were ufiiered up a 
 well-lighted ftaircafe, and into a magnificent 
 fuite of apartments. The rooms were 
 crowded with tables, and all the implements 
 cf the trade. Dexter defired Peregrine to 
 wait his return in an adjoining antichamiber. 
 In a few minutes he reappeared, conducting 
 the lady of thehoufe, the Right Honourable 
 Frefidentefs of the Society. 
 
 '* Is this the gentleman you werefpeaking 
 of?" faidOie to Dexter. 
 
 Dexter replied in the affirmative/ 
 " Well, Sir," continued the lady, ad- 
 cirefTrngherfelf to Peregrine, " as your friend 
 has been pleafed to recommend you, if tr.e 
 
 fituadoa
 
 PEREGRINE. 79 
 
 fitaation faits you, it is at your acceptance. 
 The rank of /Try Company, the firft in the 
 kingdom, will render your office no lefs 
 honourable than lucrative. We ftand in 
 need of a Secretary, Sir, to regifler the feve- 
 ral names and iubfcriptions of the members 
 of this fociety. Your employment will be 
 eafy -, and, as tlie friend of Mr. Dexter, 
 we ihall always expecl you co be one of our 
 party. With regard to your falary, your 
 friend himfelf, our Treafurer, will fettle it 
 with you.'* 
 
 Peregrine, however fcrupulous, faw no- 
 thing in this propofal againft which he could 
 reafonably objecl. His finances, moreover, 
 were almoll exhaufted, and neceffity is not 
 the feafon of delicacy. Dexter enforced his 
 acceptance with all the earneftnefs of friend- 
 fhip ; the furrounding pleafure and affluence 
 of the fcene were not without their force upon 
 E4 his
 
 8o PEREGRINE. 
 
 his imagination. With all thefe induce- 
 ments the reader will doubtlefs pardon Pere- 
 grine if he forgot for a moment the rigid 
 rule of redlitude, and became one of thofe 
 focieties which, in defiance of the law, and 
 in difcredit of the morals of the kingdom, 
 exiil to this day in the metropolis. 
 
 He accordingly accepted the office, and 
 was fhortly after fummoned to take his feat 
 at a magnificent fupper table ; and on the 
 following day was prefented with the books 
 of the fociety, obtained an allotted apartment 
 in the houfe, and commenced the cxercifcs 
 of his cfHce. 
 
 CMAP.
 
 PEREGRINE. " Si 
 
 CHAP. VI. 
 
 Origin and Defence of Gaming, 
 
 OTHING can be morepkaiing to minds 
 of true patriotlfm, than to reflecl upon the 
 various improvements which the minor arts 
 of life, and the condition of fbciety, have 
 undergone in the prefcnt century. We do 
 not think it necelTary to our preicnt 
 purpofe, to enter into a differtation on one 
 of the mofc important of thefe improve- 
 ments. Vv"e Hi all lay it down as a maxim,, 
 and we trull it will not be controverted even 
 E5 by
 
 S2. p::REGiaNE. 
 
 by the mod fophiRical, that th.e importance 
 of any thing may be rated by the happineis 
 it adds to human life. Now, it is impoihble 
 to read our ancient Poets without fympa- 
 thizing in what they defcribe as the mifery of 
 age, a want of objedls fuitable to iis infir- 
 mities, and which may be exercifed even ia 
 defpite of the total failure of all the powers 
 of the underftanding. Unfortunately, for 
 many centuries the ingenuity of men was 
 at a low ebb, and they could hit on no device 
 wherewith to cheat away life, that might 
 require no exercife either of body or mind, 
 or the exertion of any laudable talent. 
 
 Under tbefecircumftances, v^^hat could be 
 rr.ore ir.lfcrable than the old ladies during the. 
 reigns of our Edwards and Henrys ? Whiifl 
 young, indeed, their fjurces of pleafure 
 were fuiHcient ; the gallantry of the age of 
 chivalry was doubtlefs more pleafmg than 
 
 all
 
 PEREGRINE. 83 
 
 all the more hlgid love of our modern beaux -, 
 and a young lady had little to wifli, who 
 was invited daily to a tournament to view a 
 lance ihivered in maintaining the fuperiority 
 of her charms j but their old age was abfo- 
 luteiy comfortlefs. 
 
 Such was the condition of our ancient 
 grandmothers and grandfathers ; and fuch, 
 but for the device of a happy genius, would 
 have been that of the belles of our own day. 
 From the head of one of thofe beings who 
 are born to become the benefadlors of a 
 world, ifiued the invention of r^rJj and the 
 fcience of gaming. It is true, indeed, that 
 its value at firft was but little underftood. 
 The immediate purpofe of their invention 
 was for the amusement of an idiot. It is 
 related by an eminent hifcorian, that Charles- 
 the Eighth of France having been reduced 
 to a tciV-iJorary idiutiCm hj a fright at a 
 ii 6 mafquerade.
 
 64 PEREGRINE. 
 
 mafqiierade, cards were invented for his 
 amuleirient, as a toy beil fuited to this his 
 fccond cluldiQinefs. GeniuSj however, was 
 not without its reward 5 and, as ufually 
 happens, from pofterity. . The merit of the 
 invention became underftood at the death 
 of the inventor, and foon overfpread all 
 Europe. The whole clafs of old ladies, 
 difbanded Statefmen,^ ancient beaux, mature 
 \'irgins, and the cclleclive tribe of what, in 
 the Spanifh proverb, are called the walking 
 dead, adopted it v^'ith eagernefs. 
 
 To return, however, to our fubje'fl. 
 Peregrine had been bat a few days in his 
 new employment, before he became wholly 
 difgufted with it. Indeed there was little in 
 it Vv'hich could be long fupported by a man 
 of any fcruples. The education of Peregrine 
 had infufed into his mind xmany prejudices 
 of a nature very unfaQiionable, and, unfor- 
 tunately
 
 PEREGRINE. 85 
 
 tunately for him, very in confident with his 
 prcfent mode of life. Amongfl thefe, was 
 a mare ftrict obfervance of that one day out 
 of feven which, however once reverenced, 
 is now, to fay the lead, (omewhat negleded, 
 and fcarcely diftinguifhed from any other. 
 The lady of the houfe, in particular, had 
 long divefled herfelf of thofe prejudices ; 
 indeed Sunday was with her a day of more 
 than ordinary activity, and its evening was. 
 only diilinguillied by a fupper of unufual 
 fumptuoufnefs. 
 
 Indeed this fupper was one of the mod 
 important meetings or the week. Every 
 enrolled member of this fociety had it here 
 in charge to bring with him a young friend ; 
 and no allurement was forgotten, noexpence 
 fpared, to prefent fach a brilliancy of fcene, 
 fuch attractions of luxury, and fuch an over- 
 flow of fplendour, as might fix the hook, 
 
 5 ^""^^
 
 t6 PEREGRINE. 
 
 and thus add new prey to the affbciateu 
 vulJures, 
 
 The yoiiDg men, the objeds of this fe- 
 dudlion, were ufually amongn; the clafs of 
 Tons of rich merchants, to whom the feveral 
 members of this fociety contrived to intro- 
 duce themfelves at places of public refort ; 
 and as mod of thefe members were men of 
 family, and many of them even of diilin- 
 guilhed titles, tliey had little difnculty in 
 the purftiit of fuch pra6lices. The fubjedls 
 of their artifices having the common vanity 
 and franknei's of youth, readily fcized the 
 opportunity of an introduclion into a circle 
 {o much above their ufual fphere. 
 
 When they were thus caught, they were 
 invited to the fupper of the following Sunday, 
 and v/ere there received with (uch freedom 
 of poiitcnefs, that they fcldom failed to 
 repeat their vifits until they became regular 
 
 attendants
 
 PEREGRINE. 87 
 
 attendants on tiie gan^ilng-tablcj and were as 
 regularly pillaged. 
 
 It cannot be fuppofed that Peregrine could 
 witnefs, and indeed, in fome degree concur 
 in- thefe pradlices without remorfe j and an 
 incident loon occurred which confirmed l;hi& 
 into a refolution to take a fpeedy leave oi 
 the fociety. 
 
 So great was the extent of the concern, 
 that the Police thought it at length necefiary 
 to take if up, and employed emliTaries to 
 obtain a full difcovery of their pradlices. 
 
 The impudence and ingenuity of this 
 fociety for fome time baiTied all their efforts ; 
 and in a country where the law is ftrongcr 
 than any other power, they had the boldnefs 
 and dexterity to fet it at open dejiance. 
 
 The lady of the houfe one morning 
 fummoned Peregrine to her ciofet j and 
 putting into his hand as he entered, a letter 
 
 from
 
 ^S PEREGRINS, 
 
 from the penny pod, coinmanded him to 
 obtain the necefTary Turn therein mentioned, 
 from the Treafurer, and fettle the bufinefs 
 immediately. 
 
 Peregrine carried tlie letter to Dexter,, 
 who requefled him to read it. Peregrine 
 obeyed, and read as follows : 
 
 *' P/ea/e your Lachjliipy 
 
 " I am a man who flatter myfelf that I 
 do not want merit, but cannot fiy the fame 
 with regard to money. In one word, my 
 Lady, I muft have a hundred pounds.'* 
 
 '« pamn the fcllo.v," interrupted Dexter, 
 *' who is he ? Does my Lady owe him any 
 
 thing r" 
 
 Not
 
 PEREGRINE* Sg- 
 
 " Not a fixpencc,'* replied Peregrine ; 
 ** but bei^r the letter out. 
 
 " My wife is now lying-in with her fixth 
 child i and as (he comes of a breeding family^ 
 I am afraid matters will not ftop here, ^ The 
 pracliccs carried on in your Ladylliip's houfe 
 are fuch as no man of delicate confcience 
 can know and conceal. The Police, more- 
 over, by the pofitive command of /ilg/i 
 authority^ have offered the fum 1 requefl of 
 your Ladyfiilp for the full evidence of thefe 
 fadls. Your LadyQiip may hence perceive 
 that I have a proper regard for my charac- 
 ter, and have not demanded more of you 
 for my filence than they are willing to give 
 for my communication. I have only to 
 fay that your Ladyfhip has to deal with a 
 man of honour -, but I /;////? have a hundred 
 
 pounds^
 
 90 PEREGRINE. 
 
 pounds, and the neceflities of my wife oblige 
 me to trouble you for its prompt payment* 
 'M am 
 " Your Lady Iliip's moR humble fervant, 
 Jeremy Qititam. 
 
 i\"'(7. — 5 Ciirjiloj -Street, 
 Chancery-* Lane, 
 
 They had fcarcely concluded their com* 
 ments on the letter, when a perfon was in- 
 troduced by a fervant into the office of 
 Dexter, by whom he was immediately fa- 
 luted as Mi% Quicam. Dexter endevavoured 
 to negotiate with him, and lower his de- 
 mands, 
 
 " No, Sir," replied the other, «< I muft 
 have my hundred pounds ! I fliall not go 
 &om my word. I am a man of honour,, 
 
 Mr.
 
 PEREGRINE. 91 
 
 Ir. Dexter, and expect to be treated 
 as fuch.'* 
 
 Finding all renionflrances frultlefs, the 
 money was paid. 
 
 " There is one thing/' faid Qaitam, 
 turning back as he was leaving the room, 
 ** which I had almofl forgotten to mention. 
 It is this ;— I have already given my evi- 
 dence." 
 
 ** What the devil !'* exclaimed Dexter. 
 
 " Not To fall, my friend/' replied the 
 other i ** what I have done has been of 
 lervice to me j and as I Q^all manage ic, 
 \si;l be of no injury to you. But to confcfs 
 the truth, I have been a little too ha fly. 
 My letter, as you may perceive by its date, 
 fliould have been anfwered yefterdayj and 
 as I received no reply, I began to imagine 
 that you refufed th,e compromire, I at- 
 tended, tlicrefore, and gave evidence." 
 
 '' Thca
 
 92 PEREGRINE, 
 
 '^ Then what is to be done ?'* exclaimed 
 Dexter, with a voice of indignation and 
 alarm. 
 
 *^ Nothing is to be done,'* replied the 
 other, *' but what 1 have done already, 
 niuft be undone. J and that you know iscafy 
 enough. I have only to render my evidence 
 nugatory by future explanations ; and Qiould 
 the worfl come to the worfl, to hide myfelf 
 for a few days." 
 
 Saying this, he took his leave, leaving 
 Peregrine and even Dexter in fome aftoniQi- 
 inent at this barefaced viliany. Peregrine 
 now demanded of his friend whether fuch 
 fcenes were frequent in tljeir fociety. 
 
 «* Every one,'* replied Dexter, « is fome 
 v/ay or another infefted with the knavery of 
 mankind, and the fociety ofgameflers cannot 
 expecl to efcape. The rogues are pleafed to 
 
 confider
 
 PEREGRINE. 93 
 
 confider us as their cop.federatcs ; and, as 
 fuc'n, lay us under frequent contribu- 
 tion." 
 
 CHAP. VII. 
 
 A KE frequency of thefe incidents (for this 
 was not the only one of the kind) at length 
 determined peregrine to quit his prefent fitu- 
 ation ; and upon the morning following this 
 application of Quitam, he faliied forth to 
 feek fome other empioyment. 
 
 Fie had not remained lonz enou2;h in h"s 
 Secretarydiip to improve the condition of 
 his finances j he deemed it therefore prudent 
 
 not
 
 94 PEREGRINE. 
 
 not to relinquifn even his prefeiit, till he 
 had fecured another employ. 
 
 Without acquauiting any one with his 
 purpofc, but with a full refolution to demand 
 liis difmiPial upon the evening of th.e fame 
 day, he departed in quell of an appointment 
 to which he was invited by an advertifement. 
 
 As he was paffing into the city, his way 
 vas impeded by a cruv;d roi^nd the doors 
 of a cofTce-houfe. He enquired of one of 
 the fpeflators the caufe of the afTembiy. 
 
 '' A gentleman has (Lot himfeif," replied 
 he, " but I cannot tel! you wherefore.'* 
 
 *' Was the ad committed in the ccffec- 
 houfe r" rcfumed Peregrine. 
 
 " Yes,"* replied the other; *^ and I faw 
 it tlTe<rted. The gentleman entered, read 
 the paper of the day, a^d borrowed a pencil 
 of the waiter. With this he appeared to 
 make fome calculation in his pocket-book. 
 
 The
 
 PEREGRINE. 9^ 
 
 The refult, whatever it might be, threw 
 him into a paroxyim of rage and madnefs. 
 He threw book and pencil into the micjdle 
 of the room ; and though his vehemence 
 had attracted upon him the eyes of a nume- 
 rous company, he took a piflol from his 
 pocket, and before any one could reach liim 
 to prevent him, difcharged the contents into 
 his head. He is not, however, yet dead, 
 though he can Hve but a few minutes." 
 
 Oneofthofe impulfes, the caufes of which 
 lie in obfcurity, though from their effeds 
 they may perhaps be iiiiputed to our guar- 
 dian genius, to fome benevolent fpirit who 
 is commifiioned to warn us upon the brink 
 of deftruclion, led Peregrine to prefs through 
 the crowd, to enter into the coffee-room, 
 and thence follow an aftri2:hted waiter to the 
 apartment of the haplefs fuicide. The fame 
 impulfe Jed him to the bed, and the dying 
 
 man
 
 ^6 PEREGRINE. 
 
 man looked in his face ; and making a laft 
 effort, addrelTcd him. 
 
 " Sir, you are too late — you fee every 
 thing is nearly over. Tell your Lady thac 
 I cannot pay her — that I have lofl: more than 
 ic is in my power to obtain. Tell her chat, 
 to keep up my confequence in her focieties, 
 I have ruined niyf^jlf and children, and Vv^as 
 upon the point of involving my flither and 
 my brothers, the partners of the fame com- 
 mercial houfe, in my falh Tell her that I 
 l:ave revenged myfelf on my felly, bi:it that 
 I vviia nothing with regard to herfeif, but 
 that (he may repent before Caz adds another 
 viflim to myK'.f.'' 
 
 The effort was too much f:3r tlie unhappy 
 man. With his laft words he breathed out 
 his lad breath. 
 
 From the clotted blood with Vvhich the 
 ralh deed had befm.eared the countenance of 
 
 the
 
 PEREGRINE. 97 
 
 the deceafed, Peregrine did not immediately 
 recognife him. Hisaddrcfs attradted a tnore 
 Heady regard of his features, and Peregrine 
 beheld with horror one of the conftant at- 
 tendants, and the mod accompliOied mem- 
 ber of his fociety. This fufHciently explained 
 the words of the deceafed, as applied to 
 himfelf. Peregrine recoiled with horror, and 
 continued v\ith aghaft features to regard the 
 countenance of the deceafed. He was only 
 awakened from this reverie of horror to 
 witnefs a ftill further augmentation of its 
 mifery. 
 
 By the imprudence of fome of the fpec- 
 tators, the affair had reached the ears of 
 the wife and daughter of the unfortunate 
 man. Liilening to nothing but theimpulfes 
 of their hearts, they had buril forth from 
 the arms of their friends, and with fcreams 
 of horror, and looks replete with all the 
 
 VOL. I. F haggard-
 
 ^8 PEREGRINE. 
 
 haggardnefs of mifery, ruflied into the apart- 
 ment, where the hufband and father lay 
 weltering in his blood. 
 
 It was impoflible to fupport a fcene like 
 this : Peregrine, at lead, was not equal to 
 it. In the horror of the moment, he almoft 
 confidered himfelf as a confederate in the 
 fuicide, and imputed to himfelf fome com- 
 munication in the caufe of the murder. 
 With the wildnefs of terror he rufhed from 
 the houfe s and without knowing whither 
 he was proceeding, continued to hurry 
 forwards. 
 
 He was fuddenly flopped by fome one 
 feizing his arm j it was one of his fellow- 
 fecretaries : for, as we have befure mentioned, 
 he was not the only one in the fervice of the 
 fociety. His companion demanded of him 
 whither he was haflenmg with fuch unufual 
 fpeed. Peregrine, fcarcely knowing in his 
 
 agitation
 
 PEREGRINE. 99 
 
 agitation what he faid, made no other reply 
 than by the fame interrogation to the man 
 himfelf. 
 
 '* I am going,*' replied he, *^ to wait upon 
 Mr. W ." 
 
 *« Wliat !'* repUed Peregrine, with a look 
 of horror, the caufe of which the reader 
 willunderftand, when he is told that this was 
 the name of the gentleman who had fallen 
 by his own hand. 
 
 '* Yes,'' replied the other.. '^ He was at 
 our party laft night, and loft a good round 
 fum, a-nd my Lady has fent me to receive 
 it. He appointed twelve o'clock at his 
 favourite coffee-houfe. I am haftening thi- 
 ther to receive it, for it is now fome minutes 
 beyond the time. My Lady has com- 
 manded me not to return without the money. 
 Vv'eil, farewell 1— I muft go." 
 
 F2 « Gor
 
 too PEREGRINE. 
 
 " Go r replied Peregrine, with unufual 
 cmphafis. 
 
 *< "What do you mean ?'* faid the other. 
 ^* You both look and fpeak rather ftrangely. 
 Well, farewell !— I hope I ihall find him at 
 the coffee- houfe.'* 
 
 '^ You'll find him there /'* replied Pere- 
 grine. 
 
 The mefTenger departed, and Peregrine, 
 in fome degree recovering from his confufion, 
 yet ftili retaining the fame horror, returned 
 homewards. 
 
 The porter who opened the door, told 
 him that the Countefs had made many en- 
 quiries after him in the morning ; and com- 
 manded him, on his return, to be ufhered 
 up into her own room. Peregrine obeyed 
 the fummons. The lady addreffed him as 
 he entered. Peregrine imagined that he 
 faw in her manner fome unufual emotion ; 
 
 and
 
 PEREGRINEr 101 
 
 and though (he was naturally affable, fhe 
 appeared at prefent to have ftill more com- 
 placency, and to addrefs him even with an 
 air of kindnefs. 
 
 ** Sir/* faid fhe, In a hurried manner, 
 ** I am happy you have returned ; your 
 good genius has fent you — for a moment 
 later, and your ruin might have been com- 
 pleted. Our tbciety, as you know your- 
 feir, is fubjedl to many accidents j that viU 
 lanous lawyer has fet the police upon us, 
 and in a few minutes we may expeft the 
 officers. Yourfelf will be confidered as one 
 of our confederates ^ and as fijch, in common 
 with us, will be fubjetfl to the penalties of 
 the law, which, from the well-known feve- 
 rity of my Lord K— , who has taken it up, 
 are very rigorous. As to myfelf and part' 
 ners, our intereft and other means will fecure 
 fi. But it is a never-failing maxim, and a 
 F 3 point
 
 102 PEREGRINE. 
 
 point of honour with our foclety, to fecure 
 all our friends. Take this, then, for your 
 expences. Sir j and as you regard your 
 liberty, lofe not an hour in quitting the 
 kingdom. Farewell, Sir ! — I thank you for 
 your fervices, which I fliall always remember 
 with gratitude.'* 
 
 The lady, fpeaking this with that dignity 
 of manner which, to do her juftice, was 
 natural to her, and putting into the hands 
 of Peregrine a pocket-book, retired, leaving 
 the latter in fome confufion. 
 
 Kis friend Dexter then entered ; he had 
 the fame appearance of emotion as the lady 
 herfelf. Peregrine was too much involved 
 in his own embarrafTment to obferve much 
 the agjitation of his friend. He informed 
 him of what had paffed between him and 
 the lady. Dexter liftened to him in aflo- 
 niihment j and fnatching the pocket-book 
 
 from
 
 PEREGRINE. lOJ 
 
 from bis hand, examined the contents. 
 Finding it to contain bank-notes only fuffi- 
 cient, as (he faid, for his travelling cxpences, 
 he returned it again, with an exclamation, 
 to Peregrine — '* No, no, by heavens ! — 
 this trick of my Lady fhail not do. Faith ! 
 I now fee what (lie means by the impending 
 bankruptcy of our fociety ! I have too great 
 a regard both for you and myfelf, to fee you 
 involved in this ruin." 
 
 Peregrine requefted him to explain. 
 
 ** Only tricks upon travellers,'* replied 
 the other. *' The lady, you muft know, is 
 not fatisfied with her fliare in the profits 
 of the bank , (he is refolved, therefore, to 
 appropriate the whole. There is only one 
 way of effcifting this, and fhe has hit upon 
 it. You are to be frightened by a trumped 
 up tale ioto leaving the kingdom. When 
 you are gone, (lie charges upon you either 
 F 4 the
 
 IC4 PEREGRINE. 
 
 the aflual robbery of the bank at the ma- 
 ment of your flight, or fome previous fraud. 
 She adds, that one is thus unable to meet 
 the accounts, and that the money remaining 
 in band is little more than enough to dif- 
 charge the bills of the houfe. Her partners 
 are thus bubbled ; and as our concerns are 
 fuch as will not admit of any refource to 
 law, her Ladyihip retains her fpoil, and 
 fecure equally of all fcrutiny and punilhment, 
 laughs in the face of her cheated allbciates/* 
 
 Peregrine liftened aghaft to this contri- 
 vance, ±t eSrS Cf 'wrncn was io wholly to 
 blad his chara(ffcer. Little verfed in the 
 world, he exprelTed fome incredulity. 
 
 *' There is one way," faid Dexter, " to 
 convince us coin ; 5^^^ ^s the lady has 
 forfeited all claims of refpect from me, you 
 fiiall be faiisfied of the truth of what I have 
 told you. Ycu might obferve, as 1 entered, 
 
 mv
 
 PEREGRINE. IO5 
 
 my air of embarrafTment ; the caufe of it 
 was in the part of her fcheme which my 
 Lady had begun to execute on myfelf, to 
 prepare me for its final event. She had told 
 me but a few hours fince, that the fociety 
 was upon the brink of bankruptcy ; but ac- 
 knowledged that (he had ftill fufficient to 
 make a tolerable dividend. Now your 
 departure, which fhe would have called your 
 flighty would have put the fini(hing hand." 
 
 *« 1 flill cannot believe it/' faid Peregrine. 
 
 *' Then flep afide," rejoined the other. 
 ** Here comes one who will convince you ; 
 you fliall hear me force the confeffions from 
 her own mouth." 
 
 The nature of the affair, and the imme- 
 diate concern of Peregrine's reputation, 
 juftified a curiofity which might otherwife 
 have been impertinent. 
 
 Peregrine ftepped into the next room, 
 F 5 whicli
 
 I06 PEREGRINE.. 
 
 which was divided only by a thin partition 
 wainfcoting from that in which the lady now 
 entered to Dexter. The former immediately 
 commenced the conferenccj by demanding 
 of Dexter Vv'hen he had lafl feen his young 
 friend (viz. Peregrine) ?* 
 
 The reader (hould here be advertifed that 
 the lady, having heard the flreet-dopr- 
 open and fhut, believed that Peregrine had 
 already departed ; and indeed, from the 
 terror which had been vifible in his coun- 
 tenance during their late converfation, fhe 
 concluded he v>'ould lofe no time, at leaft' 
 net be imprudent enough to return to the 
 hcufe, but fly vvith all fpeed from the threat 
 of the profecution vvith which flie had 
 alarmed him. 
 
 She now therefore made this enquiry of 
 Dexter. The latter regarded her for a- 
 momcnt with a look of ftrong meaning; 
 
 but
 
 PEREGRINE. IO7 
 
 but immediately afluming a difTembled cafe, 
 replied that he had not feen Peregrine that 
 
 mornmo;. 
 
 '' Good Heavens," exclaimed the lady, 
 *' then I fear it is too true !" 
 
 ** What is too true ?" demanded Dexter, 
 with an affectation of aftonifliment. 
 
 '* That we are ruined,'* replied the 
 lady J '' that our Secretary has eloped with 
 money belonging to the bank ! To confcfs 
 the truth/' (be added, " I have long fuf- 
 pccled him !" pulling the bell in the fame 
 moment with great emotion, and fummoning 
 around her every fervant of the houfe, of 
 each of whom Pne made hurried enquiries 
 whether they had feen Peregrine ; and upon 
 their anAvers in the negative, commanded 
 them all to proceed on the purfuit. 
 
 Dexter, with great coolnefs, fuffered them 
 
 to depart. The lady again recommenced 
 
 F 6 her
 
 108 PEREGRINE. 
 
 her addrefs, and attacked him with fonie 
 vehemence for having recommended Pere- 
 grine to her employ. 
 
 '* I will be anfwerable for his appearance. 
 Madam,'* faid Dexter. 
 
 '' Will you fo, Sir ?'* faid the lady, in 
 perfedt ferenity. 
 
 '* Yes, Madam," he replied ; and at the 
 fame moment opening the door of the ad- 
 joining room, fummoned Peregrine to enter, 
 
 " He has been copying fomethingfor me, 
 Madam," refumed Dexter ; *' but here he 
 is," as he now entered, ** at your Ladyfhip's 
 ferviee." 
 
 It would be fcarcely pofTible for Moliere 
 himfelf, were he again living, to defcribe 
 the countenance of the lady upon this 
 development of the comedy. Dexter re- 
 proached her for her intended and fafhionable 
 fraud with vehemence. Peregrine faid 
 J nothing ^
 
 PEREGRINE. IC9 
 
 nothing ; but throwing down the pocket- 
 book, departed from the houfe, and left the 
 parties to fettle the matter by themfelveSa 
 
 CHAP. viir. 
 
 Peregrine is introduced into the Familij of 
 Lord Frotlu 
 
 EREGRINE was thus again thrown upon 
 the flage of the world, and, if poffible, in 
 a (ituation more defolate than that in which 
 he had entered it. Indeed, if felf-fatisfac- 
 tion, according to the ftoics, be the found- 
 ation of happinefs. Peregrine was much 
 
 lefs
 
 no PEREGRINE* 
 
 lefs happy, and as much lefs fatisfied, than be* 
 fore he had entered into his late employment. 
 Peregrine had continued long enough in his 
 fecretaryfhip to experience many attacks 
 upon the fenfibility both of his feelings and 
 moral fenfe. 
 
 The mifery which was produced almolT: 
 nightly by the effeds of the gaming-table, 
 was but ill concealed by the luxuriant bril- 
 liancy of the fcene : Peregrine therefore was 
 little pleafed with his reflexions on what 
 had fo lately paffed. With regard to his 
 finances, he was a,bfolutely reduced to his 
 laft guinea ; and be it faid to his honour, 
 that though his employers were not wanting 
 in generofity, and his appointed falary was 
 liberal, he had received nothing for his fer- 
 vices : and, indeed, had thoufands been 
 offered by them, in his prefent difpofition he 
 would have reje(5ted all with contempt. To 
 
 have
 
 PEREGRINE. Ill 
 
 have leifure to refie(fh without interruption, 
 he had now entered one of the malls of the 
 Park. He was here faluted ; and, on reply* 
 ing to the advance, was addrefled by a gen- 
 tleman whom he had often feen at one of the 
 parties of his late employers. 
 
 They im.mediately entered into conver- 
 fation ; and after the common fuhjefts— 
 " I am employed/* faid the gentleman, <* at 
 prefent, by a friend of mhie on a com- 
 miflion of rather a curious nature. My 
 friend, you muft know, is a Nobleman, 
 my Lord Froth, who is pleafed to imagine 
 himfelf one of the greateft wits of the day ; 
 and to convince the world of the fame thing, 
 is daily peftering it with his printed foll}'^ 
 His Lord (hip, however, is defirous of the 
 palmi of fcience with as little expence as 
 poflible of any kind of labour to himfelf. 
 He has long been in fearch of an amanu- 
 
 enfiS;,
 
 rrl PEREGRINE. 
 
 enfiis, but whofe employment will In fome 
 meafure differ from that of others in this 
 bufinefs. His Lordlhip has a flyle of com- 
 pofition fomewhat curious. He contents 
 himfelf with didlating what he is pleafed to 
 think a bright thought. The duty of the 
 amanuenfis is to proceed by himfelf with 
 niatter of faft, till my Lord again hits upon 
 another bright thought, and the amanuenfis 
 is again lefi to himfelf as before, filling up 
 all the intervals between the ebb and flow of 
 his Lordiliip's wit. He has tried many^,. 
 but has found no one as yet equal to the 
 .employment — no one who at the fame time 
 had the abilities of an author and an ama- 
 nuenfis.*' 
 
 Peregrine believed that this fituation 
 might fuit himfelf, and mentioned his prefent 
 condition to his friend. The gentleman 
 feized his propofai with eagernefs, and- 
 
 requelled.
 
 PEREGRINE. IIJ 
 
 requeued him immediately to accompany 
 him to his Lordlhip*s houfe. 
 
 Peregrine obeyed. They foon arrived, 
 and were introduced to the Nobleman. 
 Upon fuch recommendation Peregrine was 
 joyfully engaged ; and as it was the hour of 
 dinner, both were invited to ilay. 
 
 The Nobleman being fummoned by a 
 melTenger of fome importance, quitted the 
 room, when Peregrine and his friend were 
 left to themfelves. 
 
 «* My Lord,'* faid the latter, " has, you 
 fee, engaged you j your falary will be liberal, 
 and every thing, I trud, to yourfatisfadtion. 
 But the Peer is of a character fomewhat 
 fmgular, and it will be no little difficulty to 
 adopt yourfelf to his caprices. He affects, 
 among other things, to be a patron^ and 
 iupporcs his claim, as others do, by pro- 
 mifing what he httle means, talking what 
 
 he
 
 114 PEREGRINE. 
 
 be little underftands, and writing what 
 nobody elfe does ! Unfortunately for his 
 friends, my uncle, for fuch I fhould have told 
 you he is, has travelled ; he is continually, 
 therefore, peftering us with the antiquities 
 of Italy, with Santa Marias, Dilettanlis, 
 and Delia Crufcas. He is ever talking of 
 Voltaire, RoufTeau, Bentivoglio, and Han- 
 nibal Carraci. He Is equally fingular in his 
 labours as an author ; he will fufFer no King 
 in Europe to make an alliance without his 
 advice, and fometimes remonftrance in an 
 eighteen -penny pamphlet j and I think it 
 the happieft of his Majefty's prerogatives, 
 that he is not compelled to read it. He 
 deluded the town with fo many letters upon 
 peace, that he has almoft excited a civil war, 
 and wrote upon the price o( corn till he 
 almoft raifed it to a pound per bu(hel. He 
 has one favourite topic, upon which, as you 
 
 value
 
 PEREGRINE. II5 
 
 value his favour, you mud never contracli6t 
 hini. For fome reafon or other, he is a mod 
 invincible friend to the King of Pruffia, and 
 infifts upon the necefllty of the difmember- 
 ment o{ Europe, to add to the power of his 
 favourite, and to render him, to ufe his ozvn 
 language, a fufHcient balance between the 
 Emperor and the French." 
 
 A fervant now entered to fummon them 
 to dinner. They found a numerous com- 
 pany and my Lord at table. Nothing pafled 
 during dinner: but the deflert, and a charac- 
 tcriftic converfation, commenced together. 
 
 *' I do not underftand what they meaa 
 by this balance ofEurope," faid a gentleman, 
 in a habit which poinrcd him out as Chap- 
 lain to the family. 
 
 ** It is eafily explained," faid another, 
 who was afterwards addrefTed by the friend 
 of Peregrine as Dodor Dry, tutor to the 
 
 eidea
 
 Il6 PEREGRIKE. 
 
 elded ion of the worthy Nobleman, and long 
 fince for his fervices promoted to a rich bene- 
 fice. " It is eafijy underftood," continued 
 this learned gentleman, who in fact knew as 
 little about it as the perfon he addrefled. 
 " Why, Sir, the dodrine is almoft as old as 
 the Vvorld 1 What other than -the balance 
 of power was it gave rife to the Trojan 
 war — the confederacy of ail Greece again fl: 
 Priam ?— Priam, you may remember, i$ 
 every where defignated by the epithet 
 valde opkntus \ anc^ opukntu^y as derivei 
 from (jpesy is not confined to affluence of 
 miiniQUiy^ but extends to every other kind 
 ofrefource* The fenfe^ therefore, is, from 
 an accurate examination of the context, that 
 Priam had too many rsjources-^x^i other 
 words, too much Jlnn^th for the fecurity of 
 the fmaller neighbouring States, Yes, Sir \ 
 the rape of Helen was a mere pretext. The 
 
 Priaces
 
 PEREGRINE. II7 
 
 Princes had long refolved on war from this 
 clanger of the balance ol Afia ; and the rape 
 of Helen formed a plaufible excufe, and one 
 which might make a decent figure in the 
 nianifefto." 
 
 This definition had the ufual merit of nil 
 other learned definitions — it left the fubjed, 
 as to the comprehenfion of the company at 
 lead, in greater obfcurity than ever. It had 
 fome pompous phrafes, however ; and, as 
 fuch, fome of the company liftened in ad- 
 miration, and fancied themfelves informed. 
 My Lord Froth, the name of Peregrim^'s 
 patron, having among other caprices adopted 
 that of being a critic, propofcd to adjourn 
 to the Theatre, where a new tragedy from 
 the German of Kotzebue was to be repre- 
 fented. No one oppofing the propofal, the 
 coaches were called, and conveyed them 
 thither. 
 
 The
 
 II-S PEREGRINE. 
 
 The play was the * Stranger.' The per- 
 formance had not commenced when they 
 took their feats, 
 
 " What is a tragic play ?" faid Peregrine 
 to his friend, feeing this unufual title upon 
 the head of the bill. 
 
 *^ I know what a tragedy is," replied 
 another gentleman of the company, taking 
 up the converfation, " but I cannot fay I 
 underftand what our prefent dramatifts mean 
 by this newly-invented fpecies, 2^ tragic play ! 
 I have read, however, one which they are 
 pleafed to call by this name ; and if I may 
 define from what I have found this one^ I 
 fliall fay that a tragic play has every thing 
 of a tragedy but its art, its dignity, and its 
 efFvrd:. Jt is difncult to write a tragedy ; 
 lis fublimity of thought and dignity of lan- 
 guage are within the compafs of few. 
 Nothing is eafier than to form a long firing 
 
 of
 
 PEREGRINE. 119 
 
 of dolorous events. A murder and an 
 adultery cod little invention, and nothing, 
 of genius. The latter is the fubjed: of a 
 tragic play. In a word, it is what Voltaire 
 has not without humour termed a tradef- 
 man 5 tragedy /** 
 
 The play now commenced, and the party 
 liftened in filence till its conclufion. The 
 friend of Peregrine then demanded of the 
 critic what he thought of it ? 
 
 " I cannot fay,'' replied that gentleman, 
 " that I approve it, nor can I fee any merit 
 it has to entitle it to the applaufe it has re- 
 ceived. The aim of a play Ihould be 
 doubtlefs that of in fir uCl ion and amufe^nent; 
 and though perhaps, as a play, we may allow 
 the preference to tiie latter, yet it fliould 
 never be permitted wholly to facrifice the 
 other. But where is the moral in this play ? 
 On the contrary, what can be more flagitious 
 
 than
 
 120 PEREGRINE. 
 
 than its whole tendency? An aclultrefs is 
 not only pardoned, but again admitted to 
 the arms of her hufoand. The horror of her 
 crime is€very where leflened — a crime which 
 in the holy decalogue is put upon a par 
 with the word of our nature, is here treated 
 as little other than an infirmity, and her 
 buiband is repreiented as harfh in with- 
 holding i^is pardon, even as long as he 
 do.es withhold it. It is a play which in better 
 days no EngliQi matron would have feen ; 
 it is a play which, had I been either licenfer 
 or man::iger, 1 (liould have committed to 
 the flames." 
 
 The party now returned to his Lordfhip^s 
 houfe, and Peregrine v.'as introduced to the 
 apartments f^^t afide for hi'j:. 
 
 CHAP.
 
 PEREGRINE* 121 
 
 CHAP. IX. 
 
 Puhiic Education — A brief Hiftory of one 
 of its ViBims. 
 
 Peregrine was well fatlsfied with his 
 prefent fituation, and had been in the fer- 
 vice of his new patron but a few days, before, 
 in defpite of his follies, he faw in him many 
 good qualities wh'ch entided him to his 
 regard. Indeed the greater part of thefe 
 foilies proceeded from an error of education; 
 and as a more full explanation of this may 
 perhaps be of fome fervlce to tbe more 
 VOL. [, G fciious
 
 122 PEREGRINE. 
 
 ferious part of our readers, we fhall not think 
 it impertinent to enter more at large upon 
 the fubjecn:, in a brief hiftory of his Lordfhip. 
 
 It was in the middle of the month of 
 December. The fnow was upon the ground, 
 and almofl even with the ledge of the win- 
 dows of a fmal) back-parlour, whilfl the 
 approaching eight, and the fhri'l wh'.ftling 
 of the wind, completed the winter fc^-nery. 
 The learned Dr. Dadlyle, the former chief 
 mafter of one of the firft of ou; public 
 fchools, who had now retired upon a rich 
 benefice, fpread his fire to a brighter blaze, 
 and commanded Peter to arraign the cur- 
 tains and fhutters, and bring the candles. 
 
 Being obeyed, and having eftabifned liim- 
 felf in his elbow-chair, he began theperufal of 
 his " LloyQ*s Evening Pod,*' a pleafure 
 which he might have enjoyed in the morn- 
 ing, but which, from long habit, he had 
 
 accuf-
 
 PEREGRINE. I23 
 
 accudomed himfelf to referve till evening. Ic 
 was not yet advanced to night. Tlie de- 
 canter had as yet loft but half its contents, 
 and the filberts, the walnuts, and the non* 
 pareils, the daily, and indeed true collegiate 
 deflert of the Doflor, had fuffered but a 
 fimilar diminution. 
 
 The Do<5lor*s perufal was here interrupted 
 by the entrance of a neighbouring gentle- 
 man, who, taking a chair upon the oppofite 
 fide of the Divine, dernanded of him what 
 courfe of education he Ihould give his fon, 
 (who, by the way, we lliculd advertife our 
 reader was the father of the prefent Lord.) 
 
 ** Send him to a public fchool," faid the 
 Doclor. 
 
 ** To a public fchool !" faid the other. 
 *' Dear Dcclcr, have ycu read the publica- 
 tions of the learned againft them ?" 
 
 ** Ye?/* rejcir.ed the Do6lor i "and I 
 G 2 have
 
 124 PEREGRINE. 
 
 have read equally learned anfvvers ; and the 
 one has eradicated the opinioa into which I 
 might have been led, but for my own expe- 
 rience by the former. For a pubhc cha- 
 rader, Sir, no education is fo Vvell fuited 
 as a public fchool. A public fchool is a 
 little world ; and~ they that iffue out of it, 
 enter into a fcene for which they have been 
 prepared. Nothing appears to them with 
 an air, or any effe(^l of novelty. Of thofe 
 who are the daily prey of fliarpers, produce 
 me one who has iflued from a public fchool — 
 fhevv me one of our new philofophers, our 
 G — w— ns, our H — 1 — fts, who have had 
 the advantage of a public fchool, or who 
 can boaft a fingle pupil from the forms of 
 Weftminfter or Eton ? No, Sir ; no public 
 fchool has ever produced an enemy to the 
 facred fabric of our Church and State. The 
 vermin who endeavour to fap thefe holy 
 
 found-
 
 PEREGRINE. 125 
 
 foundations, are the offspring of your private 
 fchools, the fpawn of your Scotch feminaries, 
 your lay-academies, your half learned nur- 
 feries of vice and lyntax ! Yes, Sir ; let the 
 boy go to We ft minder, and Til anfwer for it 
 that you never blulh for him. Send him to 
 Weftminfter, I repeat !'* 
 
 A public education was thus decided 
 upon, and the boy was fent to Weftminfter. 
 The learned Dodlor in this advice had for- 
 gotten what others would have deemed a 
 neceirary preliminary ; he had made no 
 enquiry into the talents or propenfities of 
 his fubjed, but h'\d recommended a public 
 education as (uitable to him, whatever might 
 be his nature or genius. The effcdls may 
 be almoft anticipated. 
 
 Thegr-andfuher of the prefent Lord was 
 at that time a private gentleman, of a very 
 moderate fortur.e, and ^\ith no expefcation 
 
 G 3 of
 
 Il6 PEREGRINE. 
 
 of that title and cflate which defcended by 
 a fortunate accident upon the prefent No- 
 bleman. In thefe narrow circumftances did 
 his iU-judging fondncfs entruft his Con to the 
 education of a public fchool, and put the 
 finidi to his error by fending him, upon 
 
 leaving Weftminfler, to C 1 C h 
 
 College, Oxford, the mod faQiionable, and 
 therefore moft expenfive of the Univerfity. 
 
 At thisperiod the old gentleman died ; and 
 the young man, who, airjongft other follies, 
 had privately married, returned to his home, 
 and took pofTeffion of his family eflate. 
 
 It was now that the fdtal error of his edu- 
 cation produced its too frequent fruits — that 
 of a flruggle in a narrow fortune to fupport 
 that greater fplendour which his early con- 
 nexions had endeared to his fancy. Could 
 a man, educated iimongft jNobles, and the 
 fons of the moft opulent clafs of fociety, and 
 
 accuflomed
 
 PEREGRINE. XlJ 
 
 accuflomed to all the extravagance of a 
 College life — an extravagance which will 
 appear fo inconfiftent with thefe monadic 
 inllicutions, that fome may fmile upon read- 
 ing the exprefTion — could a man, I fay, 
 educated in tins manner, find any ixdiih in 
 the calm purluits of a rural life, and mode- 
 rate fortune ? The family eilate would have 
 been fufHcieiit to tlie wants of convenience, 
 or even in the demands of a tempered ele- 
 gance j but it was very unequal to that pro- 
 digal luxury which had now become a habit 
 with its new pofTeflbr. In (liort, fuch were 
 the happy effects of a public education, that 
 with an income of barely fix hundred a 
 year, the father of the prefent Lord Froth 
 lived at the rate of upwards of a thoufand. 
 The confequences may be well imagined : 
 mortgage fucceeded mortgage, and his eftate 
 in a few years was almoft entirely eaten up. 
 G 4 It
 
 inS I'EREGRINE. 
 
 It was at this unhappy time that his wife 
 appeared on a fudden, and, contrary to all 
 expedlation, in the way of giving him an 
 heir. The unhappy man was no fooner made 
 acquainted with this condition of his Lady, 
 than he became upon the verge of mnd- 
 nefs. He refufed to lifien to the reafoning 
 or confolation of his friends. He raved 
 daily upon his fatal extravagance ; yet [o 
 fatal was this extravagance, {o implanted by 
 nature, fo confirmed by habit, that with all 
 this too certain profpect of ruin, he dill 
 preferved the courfe wdiich his reafon fo 
 flrongly condemned. But fuch is the infa- 
 tuation of this dangerous folly, this inordi- 
 nate love of pleafure ! It refem.bles thofe 
 fatal opiates which at once footh and poifon. 
 
 Hisrefiedions upon his irregularicieSj and 
 the painful confcioufnefs of a mind which, 
 though fubdued to pleafure, was yet awake. 
 
 to
 
 PEREGRINE. I29 
 
 to rcmoiie, excited tliofc poignant feelings 
 which again drove him for confolatiDn to 
 thofe very pleafures which had at firfl caufed 
 them. 
 
 The dreaded moment at length arrived : 
 his wife was dcHvcred of the prefent Noble- 
 man. The child was immediately carried to 
 the father. He was walking in his lludy 
 .!th one of thofe looks of falfe eafe which, 
 as iO unnatural, are i^o truly alarming. 
 
 He received his infant fon from the ' 
 njrfe, faluted his forehead, returned hiai 
 to her arms, and then pulhing her from the ■ 
 door, clofed, and locked it behind her. 
 
 The woman, aftoniQied at his condud, 
 and terrified r.t his looks, remained fome 
 momeits (landing without, when the fudden 
 report cf a piilol VNithin the apartment 
 explained every thing. 
 
 Tlie fcrvants, upon burfl:ing the door, 
 G c found
 
 I^o PEREGRINE. 
 
 found the unhappy man weltering in his 
 blood. To make fure of the blow, and to 
 preclude all neceflity of repetition, he had 
 loaded the piftol with two balls, both of 
 which had pafTed through his head. 
 
 An 0[:en letter was found upon the table, 
 which, as the facred legacy of a dying man, 
 and containing a moral never to be forgot- 
 ten by fathers, we fnall here prefent to our 
 readers ',— it will repay their perufal. 
 
 " Before my memory be branded 
 with lunacy, and the act of misfortune be 
 called by the more difgraceful nameof mad- 
 nefs, let my judges read this luft memorial of 
 my life. Is there a father amongft them, let 
 him be warned equally of the error of my- 
 felf and parents. My mind is too diflurbed 
 
 to
 
 PEREGRINE. IJI 
 
 to relate any thing with conne6lion ; 
 be content, therefore, with the (hort paffages 
 my diftradion-will fuffer me to didate. 
 
 " My father had a fmall fortune to leave 
 me, yet he gave me an expenfive, a public 
 education. This is the firfl caufe of my 
 misfortune. With humble means I have been 
 educated amidft the noble and opulent. 
 Born to a narrow fortune, I contraded the 
 habits of the molt unlimitted prodigality. 
 In one word, my tafte, my habits, my 
 delires, the images of my fancy, and every 
 object of my purfuit, were all at variance 
 v,ith my true ftate. Behold the event 1" 
 
 Such were the cffc6ts of a public educa- 
 tion in })rivate life. Let all future fathers 
 be warned by this example — let them reflrain 
 that fatal partiality, that pernicious a;iibi- 
 G 6 tion.
 
 132 PEREGRINE. 
 
 tion, which lead them to educate their 
 children beyond their proper fphere — an 
 education always ufelefs, and frequently 
 fatal. Let them remember a truth, which 
 is confirmed by the ruin of thoufands, that 
 he who has received an education above his 
 fortune, will never fettle within it : the 
 habits of the boy will be the habits of the 
 man. He who has learned when a youth 
 to trifle with hundreds in College diflipa- 
 pation, in parties with Weftminfter and 
 Eton profligates, will fcatter thoufands with 
 equal profufion in his maturer years. The 
 moral maxim, rhat the man is but the 
 grown child, is equally true with regard to 
 the vicious, as to the virtuous habits of our 
 nature. 
 
 Our pafiions, our propenfities are all 
 the refult of our early habits ; the charaders 
 are fir ft traced in infancy,
 
 PEREGRINE. I33 
 
 *' Which time retracing, deepens into ftrength — 
 *' Which nothing can efface but death or heav'n.'* 
 
 We have been the more particular In the 
 relation of this narrative of terror, as the 
 fubjed: of pubhc fchools has occupied fome 
 of the firft authors of the day. The editor 
 of this hiilory has hinifelf had this advan- 
 tage, and does not hefitate to give this 
 opinion — that for thofe v/hofe birth and 
 fortune, or well-founded expedtaticns, mark 
 them out for public hfe, no education is 
 equal to that of a public fchool j it is here 
 alone that they obta.n that confidence and 
 early dexcerit} / ..--h are fo necelTary in 
 the bufy world : — but for tljofe whofe fortune 
 is lefs ample, nothing is fo litide adapted as 
 a public eduction. How many are there 
 who have fahen the vidlims to this folly, 
 wlicfe iciifn of life is blafted by that 
 
 unhappy
 
 134 PEREGRINE. 
 
 unhappy faflidioufnefs, thatdifgufl: of middle 
 life which the habits of a higher fphere never 
 fail to give. Let parents think on this ! 
 
 To conclude our narrative. 
 
 The widow of tlie unhappy gentleman, 
 the mother of my Lord Froth, fell into an 
 oppofite error i and frightened at the efFedts 
 of a public education, refolved to give her 
 fon no education at all. Thus, at the age 
 of eighteen, he was as vvhoily ignorant as any 
 of the mod menial fervants which furrounded 
 him. At this period the good lady died ; 
 and an event occurred fiill more fortunate 
 for my Lord — the arrival of a maternal uncle 
 from India with an immenfe fortune, and 
 without heirs. 
 
 The firft care of this uncle, who had the 
 ufual fagacity of thofe perfons who, taken 
 from fchool almoft in th^ir infancy, depart 
 to India in purfuit of a fortune, was to 
 
 fuppl/
 
 PERrCRlNE. 135 
 
 fupply the deficiencies of his nephew. It 
 was now too late to fend hhii to fchool j 
 private tutors therefore were hired to 
 attend him at his apartments. 
 
 In one and the fame morning the doors 
 were befleged by French, Italian, and claflic 
 maflers ; and thefe had fcarcely taken their 
 leave, when tl:ey were fucceedcd by other 
 lelTons in miific, drawing, &c. &c. 
 
 The Nabob fcemed to think that nothing 
 was necefTary to his nephew but to furnifh 
 him with this uninterrupted fucceffion of 
 mailers. The brain of the pupil would 
 have been doubtiefs turned by this variety, 
 had not the death of his uncle relieved him 
 from this perfecucion. 
 
 The nephew fucceeded to the fortune of 
 the uncle, and was foon after ennobled for 
 fome fervices to the Minifler, 
 
 It
 
 136 PEREGRINE. 
 
 It will not be a fubjecl of any furprlfe 
 that, with fuch an education, my Lord 
 Froth was a perfect literary coxcomb — one 
 who knew fomething of every thing, but 
 excelled in nothing." 
 
 CHAP, X, 
 
 OTHING could pafs happier than the 
 time of Peregrine in this fervice ; his patron 
 was liberal, and his employment eafy. Some- 
 tim.es, indeed, fom'-thing v/as demanded of 
 him not very agreeable to his wiil:es. His 
 patron, as we have before mentioned, l:ad 
 certain policical principles j and, like others 
 
 of
 
 PEREGRINE. I37 
 
 of his rank, confidered it the duty of his 
 dependants to enibrace the fiime with him- 
 felf. No fooner wasany war thought of, or 
 any public ad projedled, which he imagined, 
 hovvevtr remotely, might affcdl the intereft 
 of the King of Prulfia, than pen and paper 
 were called for, and Peregrine, as amanu- 
 enfis, coinmanded to take his feat. The 
 briiiht thought was then fuggefted ; but as 
 the intervals between thefe fparkles d^efprit 
 were both frequent and long, Peregrine had 
 frequent occafions to fupply the chain of 
 conneclion from himfelf ; and as it was re- 
 quired that every part (hould be confident, 
 he was thus compelled to fupport the fame 
 principles v. ich the noble Peer. 
 
 No labour, indeed, could be more tedious 
 than this part of his duty. Ho.v often did 
 he almoft curfe our iriie^ jitfl, and natural 
 Ally j and while his patron almoft trembled 
 
 with
 
 Ij8 PERFGRiNR. 
 
 with vehenience as he dwelt on the economy 
 of Europe, and the maintenance of iht triple 
 balance, it required all the prudence of 
 Peregrine to red rain a fmile. 
 
 My Lord was the mod indefatigable of 
 men j — he was not fatibfied in fupportir^g the 
 interefl of his own country ; fcarcely a Po- 
 tentate in Europe but came in for the benefit 
 of his advice. He had propofed a new fet 
 of regulations for the iron mines of S.veden ; 
 but his mod favourite work was a letter to 
 the Grand Signer upon his Pole Tax on the 
 Jews. The reception which the pubhc had 
 given to his various labours had excited 
 fomething of his acrimony. Though he was 
 always writing, fo few of his letters had been 
 purchafed, that no one had read them, with 
 the exception of the printer and himfelf. 
 My Lord, however, v/as even with them ; 
 
 he
 
 PEREGRINE. 1^9 
 
 he had a favourite fentence always in his 
 mouth — 
 
 ** Odi profanum vulgus, et arceo/* 
 And this he at ler.gth preaxed as a motto 
 to all his books. Amongft other things, 
 my Lord had experienced what he imagined 
 unfair ufage from the critics of the day. As he 
 ufually publifhed his letters without a name, 
 they were not dazzled by the fplendour of 
 his ftyle, and therefore treated him with a& 
 iitile ceremony as any of the herd of plebeian 
 adventurers. 
 
 Kis rordfhip had now concluded a work, 
 upon which he built his hopes of reputation 
 with poflerity. 
 
 ** It is done!'* faid my Lord, as he threw 
 down his pen, having finiflied the lad period 
 of his ' Serious Thoughts to the Princes 
 and Miniftcrs of Europe/ — ^^ it is done I 
 Whatever pofterity may charge to the 
 
 account
 
 140 PEREGRINE. 
 
 account of other public charaflers of our 
 times, of me at leafh they fliall fay nothing 
 but to my praife. I have laithfully difcharged 
 the feveral debts' 1 owe to my country and 
 to the fytlem of Europe. I have ever been 
 the firft, both v^^ith my pen and voice, to 
 awaken the attention of the public, and the 
 nations of Europe, to whatever might con- 
 cern them. Scarcely have I {ccn a blight 
 on the (hrub-trees in Grofvenor- Square, 
 before I have deluged the town with letters 
 upon approaching * Scarcity,* with the ufe- 
 lefs and wafleful luxury ofpaftry, and kept 
 my whole family on fuel for a month. How 
 many iheets have I written upon potato- 
 bread, and the whale fiiheryj and I may 
 fay — 
 
 * Quse regio interns noftri rion plena laboris !' 
 
 or, in other words, what bookfeller's flielf 
 is not filled with my zeal for the public good, 
 
 with
 
 PEREGRINE. I4I 
 
 with o<5lavos on the ^ Tallow Trade,' and 
 quartos on tlie ' Balance of Europe;' with 
 duodecimos on ' War,' and pamphlets upon 
 the ' Subftitutes for Bread ;' yet is the town 
 wanting in gratitude to my labours. The 
 Reviewers " 
 
 Peregrine here fpared the modefly of his 
 patron, and propofed that he fliould have 
 recourfc to a method, not always unfuc- 
 cefsful, of filencing them on the prefent 
 occafion. 
 
 ^' That might have done once," replied 
 my Lord, " but I am afraid it will not at 
 prefent. The fellows are too much encou- 
 raged, and are too well paid for their honefty. 
 A reviewer might once have been bribed by 
 a dinner, and the reputation of a Cicero 
 have been purchafed for a guinea ; but this, 
 I fear, is now over." 
 
 Peregrine, however, infided upon making 
 
 the
 
 142 PEREGRINE. 
 
 the trial i and my Lord delivering to iiim his 
 pocket-book, requefhed him to go himfclf 
 upon that commiffion. 
 
 Peregrine obeyed ; and chancing to know 
 a gentleman to whom the department of 
 reviewing works of the nature of his Lord- 
 fliip, belonged, got into the fiage for Pad- 
 dington, where the gentleman lived, and 
 was not long in finding his lodgings. 
 
 As our readers may have never met with 
 a "Critical Reviewer," we think it neceflary 
 to exhibit Mr. Scribble in full length. 
 
 This gentleman had been at the Univer- 
 fity in the capacity of what is there called 
 Bible reader — a degree fomething fimilar to 
 that of a fervitor. As the falary is little or 
 nothing, Mr. Scribble contrived to fupport 
 himfeif by various dexterities 3 his room was 
 focn known as a perfed: theme JJiop s and, were* 
 an exercife wanted by any one in the Uni- 
 
 verfity,
 
 PEREGRINE. I43 
 
 verfity, he had but to repair to Mr. Scrib- 
 ble's, and was furnilhed with one for five 
 fhillings. 
 
 So ingenious was he in carrying on this 
 trade, that he at length eftablillied a kind 
 of Joint Company^ having ahuofl: every fer- 
 vitor in the Univerfity under him, whom 
 he employed in the different branches of his 
 extenfive concern. To each, as in a regular 
 office, were allotted their feveral depart- 
 ments : — here adefk of tranflators, there one 
 of declamation writers ; in one place the 
 drudges of Greek impofitions, and in another 
 thofe of Latin thefes ; here was one, 
 with good Chriftian arguments, ready to 
 prove that the world was created^ whilfl 
 another was equally prepared to infift that 
 it exijied of itfe'f -, one to defend Hannibal 
 for loitering at Cannae — another to congra- 
 tulate 
 4
 
 144 PEREGRINE. 
 
 tulate the Roaian empire upon its happy 
 efcape. 
 
 It is no fubjed of furprife that Mr. 
 Scribble thus raifed a competency y — a true, 
 literary Swifs, he and his gang were ready 
 to engage on all fides. Like other great 
 men, this tide of fuccefs infufed into him 
 too great a reliance upon his own talents; 
 and bufinefs no fooner began to pour in upon 
 him, than, eager to move in a lai-ger fphere, 
 and engage in wider undertakings, he left 
 his College, difpofed of the good^wiil of his 
 ofEce to his fucceflbr, an indefatigable clerk, 
 and hired a houfe in Fleet-Street, London. 
 
 His purfe being well replenilhed, he loft 
 no time in embarking his capital in his 
 former trade, but which he was prepared to 
 renew upon a larger bottom. He publilhed 
 an advertifement in all the papers to the 
 following effecl : — 
 
 "A
 
 V»EREGRINE, T4J 
 
 " A fociety of literary gentlemen beg 
 leave to inform the public that, having em- 
 barked a capital in a new concern, they folicit 
 its patronage and fupport. Their plan is to 
 fupply all wants of a literary nature, and 
 fuch as may be inconvenient to be done By 
 the perfons themfelves. Thisadvertifement 
 merits the attention of all Officers of the 
 Navy, who chufe to publiQi the journals of 
 tlieir feveral voyages; and of all Members 
 of Parliament who wifh for ' Addreffes to 
 their ConRituenls.* Sermons in manufcript 
 are likewife provided for all town and coun- 
 try congregations, and prologues and epi- 
 iogues for all plays and farces. 
 
 P. S. About a dozen parcels of manu- 
 cripts have beenjull received from Oxford ; 
 
 VOL. J, H they
 
 146 PEREGRINE, 
 
 they confifl chiefly of Funeral Sennons 
 and Literary EiTays, and are to be fold 
 cheap." 
 
 Unfortunately for Mr. Scribble, peace 
 happened to be made, and the Opera to be 
 unufually brilliant ; the officers, therefore, 
 and town Clergy, as having other occupa- 
 tions, had little need of his afTiftance. la 
 one word, the office became bankrupt, and 
 it was necefTary to his fupport to turn Cri- 
 tical Reviewer. 
 
 With the fmall relics of his capital, he 
 took a lodging at Liffon Green, Paddington, 
 and continued to fupport himfelf by his own 
 induftry. It was here that Peregrine found 
 him. 
 
 It is unneceflary to fay any thing on their 
 forms of falutation. Mr. Scribble excufed 
 
 himfelf
 
 PEREGRINE. I47 
 
 himfelf for having made hltn wait at the 
 -door (which indeed he had done till he 
 had reconnoitred him out of his window), 
 adding that he was then employed in taking 
 up an unlucky hiatus in his flocking, that 
 he might appear with fome decency before 
 the conduiflor of his 'Review.' 
 
 Peregrine entered immediately into the 
 jDurpofe of his vifit. Mr. Scribble made no 
 obftacles ; and indeed, as Peregrine had 
 fufHciently anfwered them before they came 
 out of his mouth, by flipping an argu- 
 ment of mod logical force into his hand, 
 he delired Peregrine to draw out a cha- 
 raJlcr of the work in queflion, and bound 
 himfelf for its infertion. Peregrine objedled 
 that he had not the work by him. 
 
 «« Is that all ?"■ replied the other, taking 
 up a pen, and without further ceremony 
 writing a pompous eulogium. 
 
 H 2 Peregrine
 
 J4S PEREGRlNJg. 
 
 Peregrine regarded him with an aftonifh- 
 ment which he appeared to underftand. 
 
 <' This is nothing/' faid he ; ** what 
 would become of a Reviewer that was com- 
 pelled to read all the books he had to 
 review ? A title, a preface, half a dozen 
 pages in the middle of the firfl volume, or 
 the fame number in the laft (or a name in 
 the title-page), is enough for us! For my 
 part, I am old in the trade ; and I may fay, 
 without vanity, that I underfland it, lam' 
 fatisfied with knowing my author or his 
 fubje(5l, and can then fay enough in confcience 
 for any review. — Is his fubjedt morals or 
 theology, and the author a man of acknow- 
 ledged learning? — ' 0^e rejoice that the writer 
 has here treated his fubjed with his ufual 
 ability ; we can venture to recommend the 
 ^ork to the mod earneft perufal of the 
 public, and wifb him all the fucccfs he 
 
 merits.' —
 
 PEREGRINE. 14^ 
 
 merits.' — Ha ! ha ! ha !— You underftand 
 nie ?-— — Is it by an anonymous, or a young 
 author ?— * JVe give the writer every praifc 
 for the laudable cjefign of his work, though 
 we cannot compliment Wm on a fuccefsful 
 execution. The pamphlet contains feventy 
 pages. We beg leave to afk why it is fold 
 
 for half-a-crown ?' Is it a Novel ? — * The 
 
 town is daily deluged with fo many of 
 thefe ephemera, that v/e hefitate before we 
 can congratulate the public upon any addi- 
 tion to their prefent flock. The author of 
 the Fool of Fortune feems to think he has 
 the fame right with others of the fraternity, 
 and has exercifed it in giving three volumes 
 
 to the public. In line , page , of 
 
 vol. — — , there is an antecedent to w^« ; 
 
 and he is frequently guilty of the exploded 
 
 barbarifm of uling a double accufative after 
 
 Hj the
 
 150 PEREGRINE. 
 
 the word give. On the whole, howevefj 
 we may venture to recommend it to cur 
 readers.' — Ha ! ha ! ha ! Reviewers in- 
 deed read the books they review 1 No, 
 Siri they make better ufe of their time," 
 Peregrine, feeing the end of his vifit 
 anfwered, fhortly afterwards took his leave. 
 
 CHAP.
 
 I^EREGRINE* I5I 
 
 jt ii _il. iw » ijfC i J or ■ t j-j i i". > L- ' iL^Jil 
 
 , CHAP. XI. 
 
 At Teemed as if Fortune were already weary 
 of perfecuting Peregrine, His falary, as we 
 have faid, was liberal, his labour eafy, and 
 he appeared fixed in the good graces of his 
 patron -, but the revolution of her wheel was 
 fufpended, only that flie might recommence 
 her motion with a more than ufual celerity. 
 The family of Loru Froth confided of a 
 wife, a fon, and a daughter. Lady Froth, 
 had little to diflinguiih her from others of 
 the fame rank ; her routs were well attended, 
 her parties brilliant -, fiie played high, vifited 
 H 4 Operas^
 
 152 , PEREGRINE. 
 
 Operas, though fliedetefted mufic ; and was 
 frequently at the Lent Ledluresofa Reverend 
 BirTiop, though file llept greater part of the 
 time. Nor did the elded fon of this Noble- 
 man, the Vifcount Syllabub, differ much 
 From the young Nobility of the day. He 
 had been brought up at Weftmlnfter, where 
 he learned nothing ; had proceeded to 
 Oxford, where he learned nothing ; and had 
 travelled, where he learned nothing. Hav- 
 ing expofed his folly in moil of the nations 
 of Europe, he now returned the //^//-^r<?ze;« 
 fool to his own country. He rode a good 
 horfe, kept an ugly miftrefs, was member of 
 the Claret Club in St. James's Street, and 
 rot without hopes of iDeing enrolled in the 
 honourable Hofl of Faro and Pic Nic. 
 
 it may be eafily fuppofed that, with fuch 
 difparity of character, there was little room 
 for intimacy between Peregrine ' and the 
 
 Vifcount y
 
 PEREGRINE. 153 
 
 Vifcount ; but as Lord Froth had commanded 
 him to become as much as poflible the com- 
 panion of his fon, and as even the follies of 
 the young Nobleman were more congenial 
 to the difpofition of Peregrine than the 
 dull gravity of the father, he was not remifs 
 in cultivating his acquaintance. An inti- 
 macy enfued, even in fpite of that common* 
 place declamation, that without fympathy 
 there can be no friend Qjip. 
 
 In the abfence of Lord Froth, which was 
 very frequent, as belides his town-houfe he 
 had a villa at Richmond, Peregrine was 
 always engaged in the fame parties with the 
 Vifcount, and did not unfrequently attend 
 hia^i to his chere amie herfelf. 
 
 This lady, with the uliial fidelity oflhofe 
 
 of the fame clafs, took her faiary of the 
 
 Vifcount ; but as to other favours, was 
 
 indifferent from whom flie received them. 
 
 H 5 S ■ .
 
 154 peregrine:. 
 
 She had made many advances to Peregrine, 
 who either not underflanding them, or not 
 being much taken with the perfon of this 
 fair creature, preferved his fidelity to his 
 friend with the flubbornnefs of a ftoic. 
 
 Walking in the Park, however, he hap- 
 pened one morning to meet her, Signora 
 was weary -, what then was more natural than- 
 that Peregrine fliould attend her home ? 
 
 It is not neceffary to relate any of the 
 converfation that pafTed between them ; it 
 will be fufficient to fay that Peregrine re- 
 pelled advances which were fome thing more- 
 than indiredl. The pride of the lady was 
 offended. At this moment a knock at the 
 door announced avifit from the Vifcount. 
 
 " Now^, Sir,*' faid fhe, '' it is in my 
 power to be revenged upon you. You know 
 the jealoufy of your friend, and the influence 
 he has with the old Earl. A word from me 
 
 luiiiS
 
 PEREGRINE. I55 
 
 ruins you with him, as a word from him 
 ruins you with his father. I have but to 
 complain of your intrufion here." 
 
 Peregrine here broke out into an indig- 
 HwTHt exclamation, 
 
 ** Come, come, Sir," fald Qie, " let us 
 come to a right underftanding 3 do not have 
 the vanity to think that I am in love with 
 you, or that my propofal proceeds from any 
 thing of that kind. Wiiat I require is briefly 
 this. I (land in need of more money than 
 my Lord is pleafed to give me. Now, Sir, 
 if you unite Wiih'me^ we may play Into each 
 other'i hancis, and my Lord may, by your 
 means, be perfuadcd to be more generous 
 tO/V/V; and, you may rely upon it, I fliall 
 not be wanting in WV^QxixWiy io yourfe if , My 
 Lord is formed to be a bubble. Now, as 
 1 think I have the bed right, as his miflrefs, 
 to cl.eat him, I am unwilling that any one 
 H 6 fhouid
 
 1^6 PEREGRINE. 
 
 fliould interfere with my perquifites. The 
 money that he lofes to fliarpers at the 
 gaming-table, might as well be in my pocket; 
 and I have thought of a fcheme to bring it 
 thither, if I may look for a faithful accom- 
 plice in jy^?^. In Qiort, Sir, fh are and (hare 
 alike- i the plunder of a fool is the right of 
 «very one 3 and one more conceited or better 
 fafliioned to our purpofes, cannot be found 
 than his Lord fhip." 
 
 Peregrine liftened in aftonifhment. Shs 
 thus continued — 
 
 ** And we may contrive it after this 
 manner, I have many friends, both of my 
 own and your fex ; I propofe to give routs 
 and parties in my own rooms. We can here 
 introduce play ; and as the cards and dice 
 may be previously prepared to our purpofes, 
 we can appropriate thofe fruits to our own 
 harvtHy which are novv fcattered over the 
 
 to.vn.
 
 PEREGRINE. "^ I57 
 
 town. You can doubtlefs fee nothing in 
 this, at lead, to obje(fl to. My Lord lofes 
 nothing in the exchange , but thofe only 
 reap the fpoil who have the bed right to 
 it." 
 
 The Vifcount's flep was now heard upon 
 the flairs. 
 
 '* Get into this next apartment," faid 
 ilie, ** and wait either my Lord's departure, 
 or flip down the back flairs." 
 
 As Peregrine knew, amongil the other 
 follies of the Vifcount, his mod invincible 
 jealoufy of his miilrefs, he thought it prudent 
 to follow this advice. Having fafely gained 
 the door, he hurried home, not without 
 many refieclions upon the profligacy of the 
 miflrefs, and the infatuation of the gallant.. 
 He confidered it as a duty, immediately to 
 inform Lord Froth, as he had no doubt, 
 though he rcfufed his own participation in 
 5 ^^^e
 
 J^% ri-REGRINE. 
 
 the defign that had been unfolded to him, 
 that the miftrefs would not want accomplices 
 in the meditated ruin of the Vifcounr. 
 
 Meeting the old Nobleman on his entrance 
 into the houfe^, he related every thing that 
 had paiTed. Lord Froth, upon his conclunon, 
 expreiTed the greatefl gratitude, prefented 
 him with a note of fome value, and aflured 
 him of iiis conftant protedion and patronage, 
 
 *^ 1 do not defpair/' faid his LordQiip, 
 " of preventing it, as, thanks to your attach- 
 ment to my interefl^ it ha,s not gone farther. 
 You have done me a fervice I fhall never 
 forget. From this moment, Sir, confider 
 your fortune as made." 
 
 My Lord withdrew, leaving Peregrine 
 with higher hopes of a favourabre eftabiifli- 
 ment than he had ever yet entertained j but 
 fome thing was preparing which he little 
 
 expected,.
 
 PEREGRINE.- T59 
 
 expeded, and at once demoliflied this faa- 
 ciful fabric. 
 
 The real fentiments of Peregrine on the 
 propofal of the lady were rather too vifibiy 
 imprefled upon his features ; and (lie had too* 
 much fagacity not to read them, and con* 
 fidered it as a matter of felf- defence' to ruin 
 or;ei who othervvife w'ould ruin ker. 
 
 She had no difficulty in exciting the jea- 
 lous fufpicions of the Vifcount, and in deter- 
 mining him to obtain the inflant difmiflal 
 of Peregrine. For this purpofe he had re- 
 courfe to a contrivance fomewhat fingular. 
 
 Lord Froth had an apartment in his own 
 houfe peculiarly fet aTide for the labours of 
 himfelf and his amanuenfis, and he depofited 
 his papers in a cabinet, the key of which- 
 was preferved with as much care as though 
 it contained the oracular leaves of the Sibyls. 
 Upon the morning following the day of this 
 adventure, Peregrine and my Lord entered 
 
 this
 
 7l6a PEREGRINlt^ 
 
 this room to proceed to their ufual employ- 
 ment. My Lord opened his cabinet. Let 
 the reader guefs his furprife, his horror, and 
 eonfiernation, when the fubjed of his length- 
 ened labours, the obje(5l of his fondeft wiQies,. 
 the inlhument of his future reputation, his 
 " Sp'ious TliGUghtSy" were mifiing ! He 
 regarded Peregrine aghaft. In vain was 
 every place fearched— the ineftimable work 
 had difappeared \ — What was to be con- ^ 
 eluded ? No one had accefs to the manu- 
 fcripts but Peregrine. It v;as certain then- 
 that the value of the truft had fapped the 
 foundation of his foriiier honefty. It was in 
 vain that this unfortunate amanuenfis pro- 
 tefled his innocence. My Lord retired to 
 his apartment, and fumrnoning his fon, the 
 Vifcount, confulted him upon this unfor- 
 tunate affair. 
 
 The young Nobleman for once united in 
 
 opiiiiaa*
 
 PEREGRINE. l6l 
 
 opinion with his tadier, thnt the " Serious 
 Thoughts" could not have difappeared With- 
 out hands, and did not doubt but Peregrine 
 was the accomplice of fome pirating book- 
 ieller. 
 
 This uncxpedled concurrence with his 
 own fentiments confirmed Lord Froth ia 
 a refolution of difmifTing Peregrine. His 
 falary was therefore paid hinij and, with 
 fome indignation, but with more contempt 
 of his patron, he 'took his leave s and the 
 Vifcount, who had committed the ** Serioui 
 Thoughts'* to the flames, enjoyed himfelf la 
 the approbation of his e?ztv/. 
 
 CHAP»
 
 tSl PEREGRINE* 
 
 l» i g ii l i>[» j 
 
 CHAP. XIL 
 
 Peregrine was at flrft uneafy that 
 fuch fufpicions had been entertained of his 
 honour i but on more feriousrefle(5lion, found 
 only matter for a fmile. He could, indeed, 
 have little apprehenfion that fuch a charge, 
 however public, could any way injure his 
 chara(5ler 5 for at whatever value the manu- 
 fcript might be held by its author, it is 
 certain that few would fufped, even thofe 
 of. the mod diflioneft principles, to have 
 purloined the " Serious Thoughts,'* -Pere- 
 grine^ moreovera. had foraething ftill left to 
 
 confole
 
 PEREGRIITE. l6j 
 
 confole him, which was the flate of his 
 finances, at prefent more flourilhing thant 
 they had hitherto been. My- Lord had 
 prefented him with a confiderable fum j and, 
 on the whole, he had no caufe to latiient his 
 late employment. Finding his purfe thus 
 replenifhcd, he refolved to indulge himfelf 
 in feme days of inadivity. 
 
 It was yet early in the morning. As he was 
 pairing by the door of the St. James's Coffee- 
 houfe, he faw a gentleman coming out,, 
 whom he knew to be Dexter, The latter 
 continued up the ftreet, and, as Peregrine 
 imagined, in a pace fomewhat fearful and 
 hurried. 
 
 As Peregrine had been much indebted to 
 his friendlhip, and experienced for him a 
 confiderable degree of regard, he followed 
 his fteps with fome intereft. He had now 
 approached within a few yards of him, when 
 
 ha
 
 164 IPEREGHINE. 
 
 lie favv a fliabby fellow, vvhorrr he fufpected 
 to be a bailiff, tap him on the fhoiilder. In 
 the eagernefs of friendlhip he advanced, and 
 found his apprehenfion reahzed. 
 
 At the propofal of the bailiff, they re* 
 paired to a neighbouring tavern of the fecond 
 order. Peregrine here demanded of him 
 for what fum his friend was arrefted. 
 
 To the aftonifhment equally of Peregrine 
 and Dexter, the fellow replied — * Fifty 
 pounds r 
 
 Peregrine m'ade an immediate offer of a 
 payment, as the fum he had received the 
 fame morning was nearly treble that amounts 
 Dexter with many thanks accepted his 
 cffcr. The bailiff was fatisfied, and de- 
 parted. Peregrine regarded his friend witb 
 a IqoIc of fome furprife, as from the former 
 fplendour of his fituation, he fhould little 
 have expeded fuch an incident. Dexter 
 
 appeared
 
 PEREGRINE. 165 
 
 appeared to underfland him. — *' The life of 
 a gamefler," replied he, *' is as much fub- 
 jecl to viciflTitudes, as the inftrumcnts he 
 works with ; others are but occafionally 
 ^he fport of Fortune. Gameflers, ftatefmen, 
 authors, players are the con ftant fupply of her 
 wheel. 'The wretch of to-day,* in the words 
 of the fong, ' may be happy to-morrow.* Nor 
 is our life the lefs plealaRt for thefe vicifli- 
 cudes ; we have always fomething to feed our 
 hopes, and the Icall idle employment is that 
 of a gambler. But this does not happen to 
 be 2iplay debt.'* 
 
 " It is neither for food, clothes, or lodg- 
 ing?*' faid Peregrine. 
 
 " No," replied the other ; " nor were 
 you to gucis to eternity, could you hit the 
 nail upon the head. But as it may be of 
 fervice for you to underfland me, and ai 
 what you have done gives you a claim, you 
 
 Hull
 
 l66 TEREGRINE. 
 
 Umll know it. Well, in one word then^ it 
 is .what may be called the premium of my 
 trade ; and now I think you comprehend 
 me as little as you did before." 
 
 Peregrine confefTed that it was really (o, 
 " Well," replied the other, << attend.— 
 You mud know then, in the firft place, that 
 in this metropolis there are more friends of 
 thofe who want money, but who are refolved 
 to have it, than you may be apt to imagine. 
 Lke all others of the hvcit purfuits, they 
 unite themfelves into companies and focieties. 
 A fraternity is thus formed, which you may 
 call by the nam.e of Chevaliers d'Efprii j 
 for their common ufe they have a fund, or 
 Joint Stocky which is embarked in their 
 trade. Thus, thofe who have made their 
 fortunes by their ingenuity, but may widi 
 to augment them without any further adli- 
 vity of 1-heir own, embody themfelves in this 
 
 brother-
 
 PEREGRINE. 167 
 
 brotherhood. By means of their former 
 connedions, fuch as clerks at gaming- 
 hoLifes, fuitable objefts are introduced to 
 them. To fuch they advance a fufficicnt 
 capital, and give them the necefTary infight. 
 Has one of thefe objects a good perfon, 
 broad flioulders, and a grenadier ftatue, he 
 is enrolled in the clafs o'l fortune-hunters^ and 
 let up with a fuit of clothes, ten pounds, 
 and a cocked hat ; Lis coach is paid to Bathy 
 and he is difmifled, with the blefTings of his 
 company, to an adventure in the land of 
 matrimony. Are his talents lefs promifmg, 
 the ingenuity of the company finds him in 
 other employment. He is introduced, and 
 fot up as a parafite to a Nobleman \ and by 
 their means not unfrcquently obtains admit- 
 tance into the bed company, and feldom 
 fails of finding fome way of being ufeful to 
 Ins employers. Nor are women excluded 
 
 the
 
 .l63 PEREGRINE, 
 
 the benefit of this fraternliyj but if they 
 have good perfons to recommend them, are 
 liberally fupplied with capitals, clothes, &:c. 
 whence they are enabled to embark in the 
 trade of kept-miflrelTes, and to repay the 
 Company both their principal and a liberal 
 intereft from - the profits of thofe fplendid 
 V 1:abli (laments, to which their afliftance has 
 introduced them.'* 
 
 Pere^^rine here interrupted his friend, by 
 a demand of which of thefe chdes he w^as a 
 member. 
 
 " I was about to inform you," faid Dex- 
 ter. " Know, then, that of all thefe 
 Chevaliers dEJprit^ thefe gentlemen of zijays 
 and means ^ none are more acceptable to this 
 honourable fraternity than ihofe who have~ 
 the fingular talents for embarking in the 
 fame fituation in which themfelves have 
 amalled their fortunes., Thefe are the clafs 
 
 oF
 
 PEREGRINE. 169 
 
 of " Gamblers.*' Whoever is fuited to this 
 department, is fecure of the mod liberal 
 encourageaient. In this clafs have I myfelf 
 been enrolled ; and the debt for which you 
 faw me arrefted, is one to them for an ad- 
 vance in this department. The rogues arc 
 not without a prudent cunning ; they know 
 that the greater part of fheir fervants are not 
 men of the moll fcrupulous honefty; they 
 have recourfe to a lingular method of reco- 
 vering debts, which otherwife would not be 
 within the reach of the law. The fums 
 which are lent for the purpofes of play, or 
 others equally illegal, are thus made, by a 
 happy ingenuity, to appear as debts to 
 tradefmen. Their dependants are made to 
 accept the bills of tailors, hofiers, and letters 
 of lodgings, to the amount of their feveral 
 advances ; and the company are thus fecure 
 againft ariy other knavery than their own." 
 VOL. I. .1 Peregrine
 
 170 PEREGRINE. 
 
 Peregrine exprefled fome incredulity at 
 this account: his friend infilled upon its 
 truth ; and to give a full anfwer to all objec- 
 tions, offered to make himfeif an eye-witnefs 
 of its exiftence. He added a propofal, that 
 Peregrine Qiould avail himfeif of their aflift- 
 ance, promifing his intereft to procure him 
 encouragement, and a fuitable department. 
 
 There was fomething in this propofal from 
 which the natural candour of Peregrine 
 averted ; he was, moreover, at prefent well 
 provided, and had little temptation to em- 
 bark in a fociety of adventurers. 
 
 Dexter again repeated his invitation ; and 
 as Peregrine was not without curiofity as to 
 that mod ufeful of all knowledge, the 
 knowledge of the town^ he took the arm of 
 his friend, and proceeded, under his guid- 
 ance, to — - Street, where a board of this 
 honourable company of the Chevaliers d\Ef^ 
 prits was to be held on the fame morning. 
 
 CHAP.
 
 PEREGRINE. fjl 
 
 CHAP. XIII. 
 
 A HOUGH Dexter, as we have fecn in a 
 former chapter, was arrefled for the fum of 
 , fifty pounds, it muft not be hence con- 
 cluded that he was in adlual want of that 
 fum. In fad, he had nearly double that 
 amount in his pocket at the time of his 
 arreft ; 'and his purfe was in his hand to dif- 
 charge it, when Peregrine, not obferving 
 this motion, anticipated the payment. Dex- 
 ter, like a true man of the world, preferred 
 that his friend fhould pay it inftead of him- 
 felf, as he knew that he might thus confider 
 12 the
 
 172 PEREGRINE. 
 
 the debt at an end, and the money as given 
 to him.. He bad likewife made a little 
 miflake in his narrative, as to the caufe of 
 the debt -, he had indeed obtained the money 
 of the fociety he had mentioned, but he had 
 omitted to add that it was for the fervice 
 of his c/iere amie, and not of himfelf. 
 . Peregrine, in his way to the board, made 
 feme enquiries of his friend with regard to 
 the Countefs. 
 
 <« She goes on as ufual,'* replied the 
 other ; " has her routs on Mondays, Wed- 
 nefdays, and Thurfdays, her dinners on 
 Saturdays, and her fuppers on Tuefdays, 
 Fridays, and Sundays j one half of the 
 week labouring to amafs, the other to fcat- 
 ter ; a bankrupt when her bank is full, and 
 never fo thriving as when it is actually on 
 the decline ; profligate and liberal, and as 
 elegant in pcrfon and manners, as grofs in 
 
 principles
 
 PEREGRINE. 173 
 
 principles and praflice ; licentious, and 
 almoft indilcriminate in her perfonal favoursj, 
 but with that air of external decency which re- 
 fines voluptuoufnefs from half its grofTnefs— 
 in one word, fuch as flic has ever been.'* 
 
 They now gained the alley which led up 
 to the office where the fociety which they 
 were about to vifit, held its periodical fit- 
 tings^. 
 
 Peregrine, who, in defpite of his expe- 
 nence, knew as little of the town as a Cornifh 
 miner, regarded every thing with aftonifh- 
 ment 3 and when he was at length introduced 
 to the board, could only obfcrve them iri 
 Clence. 
 
 Dexter, with his ufual familiarity, ad- 
 vanced to the chairman, and whifpering 
 fomething in his ear, gave Peregrine time to 
 look around him. His attention was at- 
 tracted by the falutations of the company, 
 I 3 in
 
 174 PEREGRINJB. 
 
 in many of whom he recognifed the perfona 
 of the moft notorious gamblers, whom he 
 had often feen at the routs of the Countefs. 
 
 He was defired to take his feat at the 
 bottom of the table of green cloth^ the ufual 
 place of examination. From curioiity he 
 lefolved to carry on the farce. 
 
 A fellow at the head of the board opening 
 the regifler of the fociety — " Your friend, 
 Mr. Dexter," faid he *« has a good mien : 
 I flatter myfelf we (hall have little difficulty 
 in finding him an employment. Let us 
 examine our books.'* — Turning over the 
 leaves of the regifher, he thus read out :— 
 
 " Arrived at Bath, on the commencement 
 of the prefent feafon, Mifs Amelia Gripe, 
 daughter of a deceafed pawnbroker, and 
 
 with
 
 PEREGRINE. 175 
 
 with the reputation of a fortune of thirty 
 thoufand pounds ; but that there may be 
 no miftake in this refped, our correfpondent 
 refers us to the will of her late father, regif- 
 tered in Do(5lors Commons. The aforefaid 
 Amelia Gripe was brought up under a 
 maiden aunt, a Jewefs, in St. Giles's, and 
 is fuppofed to have imbibed fomewhat of 
 the Ifraelite faith. She has refufed a Captaia 
 in the Guards, from the fcantinefs of his 
 beard ; and has been heard to commend a 
 man for his perfon who refembled that of 
 Abraham's in fome tapeflry hangings of 
 her maiden aunt. She is now in the charge 
 of a favourite fervant, whofe fervices may 
 be doubtlefs purchafed at their proper price. 
 *' N. B. This account of the lady's fortune 
 has been examined, and verified by me. 
 
 Signed '* The President." 
 
 14 It
 
 176 FEREGRJNI, 
 
 It will eafily be imagined that Peregrine 
 exhibited fome fymptoms of mirth, which 
 were further increafed when the Prefident, 
 with a fingular gravity, demanded of him 
 whether he had a drab coat, or whether he 
 had any objedion to difmifs the powder 
 from his hair, and cafhier his leather 
 breeches. He added, that the fociety would 
 take the latter article of him, as they were 
 in want of habiliments of that nature to equip 
 a friend of their's for his addrefles to a 
 country heirefs. 
 
 As Peregrine made no other reply than a 
 laugh, the Prefident continued. 
 
 ** Here is another which, perhaps, may 
 fuit you flill better," reading. 
 
 " Arrived in town, the 16th of the prefent 
 month. Sir Lionel Lackbrain, a young 
 
 Baronet
 
 PEREGRINE, 177 
 
 Baronet from Glamorganfliire s he hag hut 
 lately fucceeded his father to a large eflate, 
 and an ample property in the funds -, igno- 
 rant, good-humoured, and prodigal of his 
 money ; no difficulty in introduflion, and 
 it will be found eafy to perfuade him to any 
 thing : — good picking for a man of fui table 
 talents I Such a one being introduced to 
 him, might either lead him to our efta- 
 bliOied gaming-houfes, or, himfelf, invite 
 him to play : thus, by both ways, he might' 
 be fleeced at pleafure.. 
 
 " N. B, The young gentleman is par- 
 ticularly attached to plays, and may be feea 
 every day during the feafon at the coffee- 
 houfes near the Theatre, about the hour of 
 ten or eleven o'clock, when the adors go ta 
 rehearfai.'* 
 
 Peregrine
 
 178 PEREGRINE. 
 
 Peregrine had now no further doubt of 
 what he had hitherto fufpeded as a fanciful 
 invention of Dexter's— the exiftence of a 
 gang of fharpers, regularly eftabliOied, and 
 aflifted by the co-operation of each other ; 
 thofe who had already fucceeded, and made 
 their fortunes by fimilar pracflices, uniting 
 to form an aggregate capital, wherewith to 
 maintain their order. 
 
 As it was now the hour for the board to 
 break up, they difmifled Peregrine and his 
 fcend, but defired them to attend a fecond 
 and final examination on the morrow. The 
 board then adjourned with its ufual cere- 
 monies. Peregrine and his friend took their 
 dinner at a neighbouring tavern ; and the 
 former found his ufual pleafure in the viva- 
 city of Dexter, and his extenfive knowledge 
 of the town. 
 
 *'^he knovjled'ze of the w Grid ^'^ fiid the 
 3 latter.
 
 PEREGRINE, I79 
 
 latter, being upon this fubjed, " would be 
 better changed into knowledge of the tozvn-, 
 for that, in fad, comprehends every thing. 
 Are you born without a penny ?-^obtain 
 this knowledge of the town, and your for- 
 tune is as fuccefsfully made, as though you 
 were purfer to a man of war, or agent to a 
 regiment. It is, in a word, the bed of all 
 capitals 5 'tis one of which, as the poets fay 
 of virtue^ nothing can deprive us — which 
 can neither be loft at the gaming-table, nor 
 flolen upon the road, but which is rather 
 augmented by every lofs, and every failure 
 only adds to it a new experience I In this, 
 my friend, you are miferably deficient. 
 What fay you then ? You have nothing to 
 do at prefent, and have an eafy fum in your 
 pocket. Put yourfeif under my tuition for 
 a few days, and you fhaU learn every thing ;. 
 believe me it is the bcil^of all pliilofophy^ — ■ 
 I 6 the
 
 l8o PEREGRINE. 
 
 the art of living at the expence of oihers/ 
 and of enjoying every luxury of life which 
 others provide us with 1 You (Ijall have a 
 proof of it this evening : you iliall attend me 
 to a party of my miftrefs. I fay my miflrefs, 
 becaufe, as flie ferves to my pleafure, (lie 
 may be well called fo \ but as (he is paid by 
 another, and cofls me abfolutely nothing, 
 fhe may in llriderjuftice be called //£j." 
 
 Peregrine did not refufe this invitation \ 
 and as the hour was at hand, and the coach 
 at the door, he accompanied his friend. 
 
 Dexter continued his converfation on the 
 way. 
 
 '* This miilrefs of mine/* faid he, ** is a 
 woman of very fmgular talents ; and I had 
 met her but a few days, v.'hen I found her, 
 without any previous inftrudion,- as well 
 provided v/ith knowledge as myfclf. I have 
 introduced her to our fraternity, and die 
 
 has
 
 PIREGRINE. l8l 
 
 has adcIeJ no fmall reputation to my dif- 
 cernment. She has already fliared the 
 fleece of many vidims, and our gentlemenr 
 have the befl: hopes that (he will, in procefs, 
 of time, prove the mod valuable member of 
 the fociety.. 
 
 The coach now flopped, and Peregrrne 
 and his friend entered. They were lighted 
 up (lairs ; and Peregrine, on being fhewa 
 into the room, recognifed, to his aftonilh- 
 ment, the perfon of the Vifcouht's miftrefs i' 
 
 The darknefs of the night had prevented 
 aH previous obfervation ; no wonder then 
 that he (larted with affright at this fudden 
 incident. He was at fome lofs how to carry 
 himfelf ; the lady, however, was not behind 
 in recognifing him, and advanced with her 
 cuftomary eafe, and without the leaft marks 
 of embarraffment. 
 
 She feized upon the firfl opportunity of 
 
 addrelTing
 
 l82 PEREGRINE. 
 
 addrelTing him in private ; and with an air 
 of difiimulation which confounded Peregrine, 
 who well knew her to be the caufe of his 
 difmifTal from the fervlce of Lord Froths — 
 
 "Well, Sir/' faid (lie, " have you con- 
 fidered the propofal I lately made you V* 
 
 Peregrine, adopting the fame air as herfelf, 
 and alFefting the fame ignorance, replied 
 that he had left the Earl. 
 
 Dexter at this moment joined them. 
 The lady, addrefTing herfelfto him with a 
 mofb admirable impudence — " You mufl 
 know then, Sir,** faid (lie, <' I am not unac- 
 quainted with your friend : Mr. Peregrine 
 and myfelf have met before, and I have not 
 Q)ared my efforts to add him as a member 
 to our fociety. I need not tell you, I fup- 
 pofe, that he was the friend of notre cher 
 ami, my dear Vifcount.— Ha ! ha ! ha ! — I 
 propofc to him to afTid me in relieving him 
 
 of
 
 PEREGRINE. iSj 
 
 of the too great weight of his purfe, and I 
 make no doubt he will be brought to liften 
 to our defigns, but an accident has hap- 
 pened ', for fomc reafon or another he has 
 left the old Lord. How was it, my dear 
 friend ?'* faid (he, again turning to Pere- 
 
 grine. 
 
 Peregrine, who, as Dexter obferved, was 
 wholly ignorant of the town, was abfolutely 
 lofl in aftonifhment at this fingular afTurance. 
 His curiolity, however, was attrafled, and 
 his attention almofl wholly abforbed in the 
 extraordinary afTemblage of the company. 
 In facl, no rout in the whole town could 
 exhibit an appearance of greater brilliancy. 
 There were many women prefent, all of 
 them young, and fome moft exqulfitely 
 handlbme, and with that exterior appear- 
 ance of modefty which, to the fliame of the 
 demireps of the day, the higher members of 
 
 this
 
 184 PEJlEGRINEv 
 
 this clafs have the prudence to adopt. The 
 gentlemen were of an appearance equally 
 amphibious : their manners were fafhion- 
 able ; and no one would have conjeftured^ 
 from any particularity of their mien or drefs, 
 that they belonged to the honourable fociety 
 of the Chevaliers d^Efprits, But every member 
 of the party was equally an inftrument of 
 this ingenious fociety. 
 
 The purpofe of the meeting was now ex-=- 
 plained by a loud knock at the door, and 
 the fubfequent entrance of the Vifcount 
 with other young Noblemen* 
 
 Peregrine and the young Lord were equally 
 embarralTed when they faw each other s but 
 the lady walked up to the latter, and whif=- 
 pered fomething in his ear, the effecft of 
 which was vifible, as his former eafe in- 
 ftantly returned. 
 
 Peregrine underftood a^t length the aim 
 
 of
 
 PEREGRJNE, 185 
 
 of the aflembly, and the air of impatience 
 which, previous to the arrival of the Vif- 
 count, was imprefied on the countenances 
 of all prcfent. 
 
 A fafhionable game was propofed imme- 
 diately on their entrance, and accepted by 
 the eafy dupes with the fame eagernefs with 
 which it was made. The lady, with an 
 afFeclation flie might have learned from 
 fuperior focieties, repelled its firft propofat 
 with indignation ; and was only perfuaded 
 into a compliance with the wifhes of the 
 company by the entreaties of Dexter, and 
 the all-commanding influence of her dear 
 Vifcount. She even then confined the 
 flakes to fingle guineas, with the pofitive 
 exclufion of all bets -, but as the ardour of 
 the company increafed, fhe took the oppor- 
 tunity to leave the apartment, and the 
 (lakes were then augmented to rouleaus^ 
 
 every
 
 lS6 FEREGRINE. 
 
 every one promifing, as a refped to their 
 fair entertainer, to call thefe increafed (lakes 
 by the name of their former ftakes. 
 
 Peregrine was fo little pleaf^d with thefe 
 prad ices, and the ferious iofTes which he 
 forefaw would be the event of the evening, 
 that, under pretence of another appoint- 
 ment, he took an early leave of the company. 
 
 It was in vain that Dexter endeavoured to 
 retain him 5 and even the entreaties of the 
 ladies, which were repeated till they had 
 almoft excited the jealoufy of the other 
 gentlemen, were thrown away. In a word, 
 he was refolved to take a final leave of the 
 fociety of gamblers ; and if knowledge of 
 the town could only be acquired by a facri- 
 fice of honour, and a communication of its 
 vices, he was determined for ever to remain, 
 ignorant. He could not avoid feeling fome 
 
 concern
 
 PEREGRINE. 187 
 
 concern for the fituation of his friend 
 Dexter — a man whofe good -nature and 
 liberality were inexhauflibie, and whofc ta- 
 lents in any fphere would have enfured 
 refped: and fuccefs. In thisy however, they 
 were employed only in purpofes of mifchief ; 
 and his ingenuity only extended the fphere 
 of thefe dilhonourable pradices* 
 
 CHAP.
 
 iBS PEREGRINE. 
 
 CHAP. XIV. 
 
 jr\FTER the advance which, as we have 
 before related, Peregrine had made for the 
 relief of Dexter from his unexpedted arreft, 
 he had a fum ftill remaining, to the amount 
 of feventy pounds. With this he promifed 
 himfelffome days ofleifure; and refolved, 
 iaflead of feizing the firft fituation which, 
 might offer, to wait till he found one bed 
 fuited to his wifiies. 
 
 What he had feen, had infufed into him a 
 rooted averfion towards any thing which 
 had to do with play— an averfion which led to 
 
 a Iln.*
 
 PEREGRINE. 189 
 
 a fingular Incident, and again threw him 
 back almod pennilefs upon the town. 
 
 One morning going by the doors of a 
 public billiard -room, and having to pafs 
 away an interval before an appointment of 
 Tome importance, he had the curiofity to 
 enter the room, as, though he knew nothing 
 of the game, he had been ufed to experience 
 no little pleafure in feeing it played whilfl at 
 the Univerfity. Some gentlemen, to all 
 appearance fkilful players, were engaged at 
 the tables. 
 
 Upon the conclufion. Peregrine was him- 
 felf invited to take a iunty which he declined j 
 but another gentleman, one of the fpeda- 
 tors, drefled like a country 'Squire, accepted 
 the challenge. Ignorant, and apparently 
 vehement, his loITes were foon heavy, A 
 looker-on, a man of agreeable appearance, 
 
 invited
 
 190 PEREGRINE. 
 
 invited Peregrine, by a private fignal, into 
 a corner of the room. 
 
 " I beg your pardon, Sir," faid he ; "but 
 as I invite you to an a(5l of humanity, I 
 flatter myfelf my abruptnefs will require no 
 excufe. The perfoa who is now playing 
 with the *Squire, is a noted (harper : the 
 ignorant young man has a large fum about 
 him, and will doubtlefs lofe it all if he con- 
 tinues to play. There is but one method 
 to fave him ; take the opportunity of the 
 conclufion of the game to invite him froni 
 the apartment, and inform him of his danger. 
 That his antagonift may not fufped; your 
 motive, I will myfelf accept his challenge for 
 the following game." 
 
 The generofity of Peregrine was pleafed 
 with this opportunity of exerting itfelf ; he 
 returned to the table, where the game had 
 jufl concluded with the expeded event to 
 
 the
 
 TEREORINE. I9I 
 
 the unfk.ilful player. The young 'Squire 
 appeared carried away with the ufual palTion 
 and ardour of a lofing gamefter. He loudly 
 undervalued the play of his antagonift -, and 
 difplaying a note for five hundred pounds, 
 and adding that he had nothing lefs, chal- 
 lenged him to play for the whole amount. 
 
 Peregrine now took him by the arm, 
 whilll the gentleman who had addrefled him, 
 played agame in the interval with the (liarper. 
 
 Peregrine having withdrawn the 'Squire 
 into another apartment, gave him the in- 
 formation which he had received, and 
 remonftrated with great generofity againft 
 his ralhnefs in expofing himfelf to fuch 
 lofles. 
 
 " Let me aflbre you. Sir," faid the- 
 other, « he overrated his fkill. The balls- 
 are good 'y and, a^ I have my eyes about me,' 
 I can fee no room for fgul play^ I have- 
 
 beat
 
 19^ PEREGRINE. 
 
 beat better than him many times, and I do 
 not fear but I (liall do it again. But I 
 thank you, Sir, the fame," continued he, ' 
 with charaderiflic rufticity fuited to his 
 appearance. 
 
 Peregrine again remonllrated, and the 
 'Squire again relifted. 
 
 The gentleman who had addreffed Pere- 
 grine, now entered the apartment, faying 
 that he had got another to take him his 
 game. He repeated what he had told 
 Peregrine, and they united in remonftrance 
 to the 'Squire. 
 
 Their advice had at length fo much effect, 
 that the 'Squire exprefled a refolution not 
 to play any more 5 and taking his note of 
 live hundred pounds, put it into the hands 
 of the gentleman, whom he addrefled as an 
 old acquaintance, requefting him to keep 
 it till the following day, when he propofed 
 
 returning
 
 PEREGRINE* T 93 
 
 returning to the country, adding, as the 
 motive of his requeft, that he could not 
 trull himfelf for reftraining his propenfity 
 to play. 
 
 The gentleman excufed himfelf by alledg- 
 ing thut he was compelled to go out of town 
 the fame evening ; and putting it into the 
 hands of Peregrine, whom he profeiTed 
 to have feen in many parties of fafliion, 
 requeftcd him to keep it for the young man. 
 
 Peregrine did not refufe j but, pleafed 
 with the confidence of the 'Squire, and 
 gready fatisfied with himfelf in having ref- 
 cued him from the hands of a fharper> 
 accepted the note, and gave his addrefs. 
 
 The 'Squire, the gentleman, aild Pere- 
 grine now withdrew together to fee the town. 
 The 'Squire exhibited many limplicities, 
 which, as charadteriftic of his condition^ 
 highly diverted the other two. He now 
 
 VOL. I. K remem-
 
 194 PEREGRINE. 
 
 remembered that he wanted to purchafe a 
 watch ; and going into a watchmaker's ihop, 
 he agreed for a gold repeater zX fixty pounds. 
 He demanded of the tradefman whether he 
 could change a five hundred pound bank 
 bill. The man replied in the negative. 
 The 'Squire now looked with an air of the 
 mod fimple embarrafTiiient. The gentle- 
 man, putting five guineas into his hand, 
 declared it was all he had, but that it was 
 much at his fcrvice. 
 
 Peregrine himfelf happened to have the 
 fum required in fmall notes ; and the five 
 hundred pound bill of the 'Squire being in 
 his poirefiion, he did not hefitate to depofit 
 the fum required for the repeater. 
 
 After a fhort walk, his companions left 
 him, and he repaired to dine with Dexter. 
 The 'Squire, however, took leave of him 
 with a hearty (liakeof the haod, requcfling 
 
 • him
 
 PEREGRINE, tpj 
 
 him not to fall being at home in the morn- 
 ins:, as he fliould call on him for the 
 needfidy and be in a curfed hobble if he was 
 balked. 
 
 Peregrine wa^ no lefs amufed than gratified 
 at this rough difplay of country manners. 
 
 '' Their groflhefs," faid he to himfelf, 
 *' is more charadteriflic of honefly than the 
 fuperfluous refinements of the town. Happy 
 candour ! When (hould we meet in a 
 metropolis a (imilar inflance of confidence ? 
 Confcious of his own honefty, the inge- 
 nuous youth had no fufpicions of that of 
 others -, but traded every- one, in the (hapc 
 cfa fellow- creature, as his brother." 
 
 Such were the fentiments with which 
 
 ^ Peregrine met Dexter and a party of his 
 
 friends at dinner : even the features of his 
 
 face were imprefled with the fentiments of 
 
 fclf-fatisfadion ; and after the firft glafs on 
 
 K 2 the
 
 I^ PEREGRINE. 
 
 the removal of dinner, he fought an oppor« 
 tunity to introduce the fubjed to the party, 
 by making a demand of them of what they 
 had done the fame morning, and offering a 
 bet than an aft of his was worth all their' s 
 put together P' 
 
 '' For my part,'* faid Dexter, '' I 
 confefs I have not much to boaft of! My 
 journal of to-day is like my journal of yef- 
 terday : I rofe at ten, breakfafted and read 
 my papertill eleven, and trjed a pair of new 
 boots, and calculated fome chances till 
 twelve. At one I walked into Bond-Street, 
 and ordered a pair of leather breeches s in 
 Oxford Road I ordered another ; and that 
 I might be fure of one pair, in Pall-Mall a 
 third. So much for my morning !" 
 
 '^ My morning," faid another, whom 
 Dexter addreffed by the name of Sir Lionel 
 Lackbrain, " has been ftill more full of 
 
 bufinefs.
 
 PEREGRINE. I97 
 
 bufinefs. I have tried the new pair of 
 horfes I bought at TatterfalPs, have knocked 
 off the wheel of a poney gig-, and lodged 
 two old cats into the mud. Ha ! ha ! ha !- — 
 Plague on't — (uch figures! they lay flat ; and 
 as the wind blew flrong behind thenn, I had 
 . a fair cut as I pafled, and whifked the old 
 dowagers up as faft as I fet them down. 
 1 walked in the Green Park afterwards, and 
 met my Lord Shallow with his dog Casfar. 
 My Lord threw his dog in the pond. T 
 fwore my hiich (hould fwim as well as his' 
 dog ; and fo as a foldier*s wench was felling 
 gin arid gingerbread on the brink, I puflied 
 her in after him. — ^ Swim, dog !' faid he;- 
 
 cfwim, b !' faid r. ''Ha! ha! ha !— 
 
 Wasn't it good 1" 
 
 Peregrine had waited with fome impa- 
 tience to bring out his ftory ; and though 
 l^G could not exped the full praife of his 
 K3 benevolence
 
 loS ^PEREGRINE. 
 
 benevolence in this aflembly of wits and 
 jockeys, he feized the firfl opportunity of 
 relating it at length. 
 
 The party liflened with great attention 
 and admirable gravity to the end i but no 
 fooner had he concluded, than, to his afto- 
 iiiihment, hewasfaluted with a general chorus 
 of laughter. Miilaking their mean-ing, to 
 verify his narrative, he produced his note;^ 
 and held it up for the infpedion of the 
 company. The tffcdi of this* was only to 
 redouble the peal of laughter; when Pere- 
 grine with fome embarrafTment enquired 
 what had excited them to fuch unufual 
 mirth. 
 
 Dexter took the note to examine, and 
 tearing it in two, threw it into the fire ! 
 Peregrine flarted, and the truth at once 
 flaflied upon him. The curiofity of Sir 
 Lionel hac^ refcued it from the flames. . It 
 
 was
 
 PEREGRINE. I99 
 
 was now handed round the table, and ap- 
 peared, as might indeed before have been 
 fufpedlcd, a forged note, wanting even the 
 moll evident marks of being genuine, 
 
 Peregrine, in a word, had been the dupe 
 of an unfufpicious confidence -, he had fallen 
 into the hands of a gang of (harpers : for 
 the honed 'Squire, and the gentleman who 
 hvid affciflcd fuch alarm left he fhould 
 be plundered, together with the other who 
 appeared to be the winner at the billiard- 
 table, were thofe of the moft accomplillied 
 (harpers of the town. The 'Squire indeed 
 would have done credit to any fhage -, with 
 fuch perfeflion did he acl the charader, a 
 man of more experience in the town than 
 Peregrine might have been deceived. 
 
 He was unable to fupport the mirth this 
 
 narrative occafioned. Every one prefent 
 
 except Dexter, who really felt much concern 
 
 K 4 at
 
 200 PEREGRINE. 
 
 at his being thus duped, was loud in ridi« 
 culing his folly. 
 
 *' What a d d cake T' whifpered Sir 
 
 Lionel to the perfon fitting next him. 
 
 Peregrine could no longer endure fuch 
 fenfelefsiibaldry 5 but withdrew from his com- 
 pany, and not in the mod happy compofure 
 of mind. 
 
 CHAP.
 
 PEREGRINE,' 201: 
 
 CHAP. XV. 
 
 Jtx may be fuppofed that the reflexion of 
 Peregrine after the incidents of the day, 
 were not of the mod pleafi hg kind ; and that 
 even in his dreams he accufed himfelf with 
 his creduhty. The earnings of many 
 months were loft by the foily of a moment, 
 and he was now reduced ahnoft to his lail 
 guinea. What was to be done ? This was- 
 a.queftion he could not refolve. He haftened 
 en his clothes, and faUied to break faft with 
 Dexter, 'from vvhofe friendlhip and know-' 
 ^ 5 hd^Q
 
 202 PEREGRINE, 
 
 ledge of the town he expefled effedual 
 advice. 
 
 . Peregrine^ amongft other propofals, men- 
 tioned that of applying for the place of ufher 
 to a fchool. 
 
 " AVhat," faid Dexter, ** and for the pay 
 of a Welfh Curate, do the labour of a Cornifli 
 miner ? — travel, like a mill-horfe, the fame 
 dull round inceflantly, and laQi all the block- 
 Leads of the country into the rudiments of 
 grammar ? — to rife before light ; and, in 
 order to maintain the quiet of the fchool, 
 go to bed before da,rk ? — to weed the gar- 
 den on holidays, and v/ater the maflcr's 
 horfe in the interval of fchool-hours ? — to 
 dine on Saturdays on the remnants of the 
 week, and fcrape horfe-radilh for the cook 
 for the loall beef on Sundays ? — to brufh 
 coats, to black fhoes ? — In a word,* if you 
 
 can
 
 PEREGRINE. COJ 
 
 can fubmit to all this, be an uflierj but 
 fall in any one point, and you are difmiffed 
 as foon as appointed. If, however, you 
 fiiould refolve on this, I can only demand of 
 you, in the words of your favourite fatirift-— 
 
 ** Nusquam pars tegitis ?'* 
 
 No, no, my friend j if you like uniformity 
 in your labours, apply to drive a flagc -coach. 
 Like an ufher of a fchool, you will travel 
 the fame road every day ^ but it is your 
 own fault if the road be not pleafant. The 
 paths of fcience are alike uneven.** 
 
 *« Shall I turn author V* faid Peregrine j 
 " for I am now reduced to that ftate, that 
 I mud fubmit to almoft any thing/' 
 
 " Then go on the ilage," replied Dexter; 
 
 " for if you are refolved to make a fool of 
 
 yourfelf, have fenfe at leaft to prefer the 
 
 mod profitable folly. As an author^ you 
 
 K 6 will
 
 a04 PEREGRIKE^ 
 
 . will only affifl to the fapport of o'cbers : your 
 printer, indeed, may grow fat upon your 
 labours, but yourfelf would do well not 
 even to ftarve : but as a player, your labour 
 is lefs, and your profit more certain. Nor 
 is much neceflary for fuccefs in this line : — 
 a crier's voice, the breath of arace-horfe, and 
 an Irilb impudence of front, will make you 
 as refpedable a . hero, as any ftage can pro- 
 duce. And if you refolve on this, I believe I 
 am not without fufficient intereft to procure 
 you an engagement. My miftrefs, to whom 
 I carried you the other .night, is well ac- 
 quainted with many of the female performers 
 of both houfes i and, to do her juftice, has' 
 I believe more intereft with many of the 
 male adlors than their own wives. I hear, 
 moreover, that one of the houfes is in want' 
 of fome new charaders, more particularly of 
 
 a- country.
 
 PEREGRINE*- ao^ 
 
 a CQiufiry ^enileman^ and a new devi/ for 
 Don Juan. Will either of thefe fuit you ? 
 If 3'ou think you can fubmit to be an uQiec 
 or an author, I fliould conclude you would 
 not hefitate to accept of the deviU^ 
 
 *« But, raillery apart,'* faid Peregrine, 
 *^ my fituation is ferious. Can nothing be 
 done r - 
 
 *' Yes,"* replied Dexter, " many things^, 
 if you have the talents and inclination to 
 attempt them. Thanks to the folly of the 
 town, no one need want who. can in any 
 thing adminifter to it. Could you dance, 
 talk Italian, and procure, under fuch a dif- 
 guife, an engagement at the Opera, I would 
 cnfure you a coach in one feafon. This 
 town, like all other great cities, is divided 
 into two clafTes — thofe that have more than 
 they know what to do with, and thofe who, 
 as fpunges, can fuck up the fuperiluity, and 
 
 divert
 
 ao6 PEREGRINE, 
 
 divert It to tlieir own iieceiTities. Nature 
 is more eqaal than we ufually believe her ^^ 
 for the folly of the rich is as certain a re- 
 fource to thofe who have the wit to manage 
 it, as would be an eilate in their own hands. 
 Thefe rich dupes are but refervoirs, and we 
 need but induftry and Ingenuity to drain 
 them to the bottom. Their follies give 
 wings to their wealth, and we have only to 
 whiftleto call it to our own lure» But to come 
 to the purpofe — I have found a fituatioa 
 which I believe may fuit you. A noble 
 friend of mine, the Earl of GlofTover, is in 
 want of a Secretary to manage a large cor* 
 refpondence ; and I think I can effedually^ 
 recommend you. My Lord is quite a 
 different being from your late patron \ he is 
 every where confidered as one of the mofl 
 accomplifhed men of the day j his exterior 
 s biiiliant, his fuccefs in intrigue undoubted, 
 
 and
 
 PEREGRINE. lOJ, 
 
 and his wit fuch as fults the les belles ajfem- 
 /hies of falhion ; he fpsaks tolerably in the 
 Houfe, and receives every one with a fmile — • 
 ki fliort, he has that happy art of procuring 
 every thing at the leaft pofTible coll: ; he is 
 furrounded by dependants, whom he retains 
 by promifes, and is daily dunned by tradef- 
 nien, whom he pays with complaifance; and, 
 to funi up all, he is diftinguifhed from the 
 libertines of the day by a trait of fome fin- 
 gularity, and to which he may pofTibly owe 
 his fuccefs in intrigue. However profligate 
 in practice, he has the decency to comply 
 with the general prejudices by wearing a 
 mafk of external decorum ; and fo far from 
 fupporting his own pradice by denying any 
 of the principles of morals^ he candidly 
 avows his obligation, and only demands 
 pardon upon the plea of frailty. Come, let 
 3 us
 
 ZOB- P£REGR1NE,- 
 
 us wait upon him ; this is the hour to nnd^ 
 him." 
 
 The friends fallied forth ; and Dexter 
 being known, they were both admitted to- 
 the levee of my Lord. They found him 
 furrounded by a numerous tribe of fupple 
 d-ependants, and in a fcene which a dramatic 
 author would have chofen to exhibit fuch 
 a charader. He was lounging on a fofa,. 
 taking his morning chocolate, with the newf- 
 paper and other pamphlets before him. The 
 irfe of the former feemed that of furniihing 
 him with topics of the converfation which 
 hi€- directed in turns to every member of his 
 obfequious circle. 
 
 Peregrine had now, for the firH time in 
 his life, an opportunity of feeing the etiquette 
 and real importance of a levee. . My Lord 
 Vi^as high in adminiftration , and as fuch, 
 
 his
 
 PEREGRINE. 209 
 
 his circle was always full. Peregrine now 
 beheld him in the aflual exercife of thofe 
 talents which had procured hini his enviable 
 diftinftion in the beau-monde ; and, had it not 
 been for his high rank, he would doubtlefs 
 have confidered him as no inconfiderable 
 coxcomb. 
 
 He obferved that the chief art of this 
 Nobleman was to addrefs in turn every one 
 in the room ; and he prided himfelf, and his 
 flatterers concurred in the praife, in his happy 
 dexterity and promptnefs. Peregrine was 
 abfolutely aftonifhed at the infignificance of 
 greater part of thefe queftions. 
 
 *' Yet it is thefe," faid Dexter, obferving 
 him fmile, *' which have put him at the 
 head of the mode, and have given him the 
 reputation he enjoys. My Lord's motto is 
 • Vive la bagatelle /* and he adheres to it with 
 fuch a wonderful flriclnefs, that every part 
 
 of
 
 Q!0 PEREGRINE. 
 
 cf his condudV, and every trait in his cha- 
 rader, might juftly be ranked under the 
 clafs of//? bagatelle,'^ 
 
 The whole of the circle now departed, 
 with the exception of Dexter and Peregrine, 
 who were left alone with my Lord. 
 
 Peregrine was fomewhat furprifed with 
 the familiar reception my Lord gave his 
 friend, and flill more with the vifible referve 
 in the countenance of Dexter. This cir- 
 cumflance was prefently explained by Dexter 
 taking a bill from his pocket-book, and pre- 
 fenting it to my Lord as hio note of hand,^ 
 
 *' Ah, faith T* cried my Lord, " I was 
 indeed very unlucky the other night. Did 
 you ever knov/ any thing fo unfortunate — 
 fuch a continued run of the chances againil 
 me ? Plague take that fellow, Cogdie, who 
 made me double or quils on the lad card I 
 Well,. Sir, I am ready to difcharge it, if 
 
 you
 
 PEREGRINE. 211 
 
 )uu require it ; but as my banker is out 
 of town, &c. &c." 
 
 Dexter here relieved his Lordfhip from 
 any further embarrairment, by affuring hitii 
 that neither himfelf nor his ibciety (for it 
 was to the members of his club the debt was 
 owing) bad any wifli to hurry him, and that 
 the bill Qiould not go out of his own (Dex- 
 ter's) hands, till paid. 
 
 His Lordfhip thanked Dexter; and ac- 
 cording to his ufual cuflom, proffered to pay 
 this one favour by the promifeof a thoufind. 
 
 Dexter now faw his opportunity, and 
 without further ceremony recommended Pe- 
 regrine as his fecretary. The recommend- 
 ation was inftantly accepted, and his Lord- 
 fiiip invited both of them, as it was late ia 
 the day, to flay dinner with him, 
 
 A gentleman w^s now introduced by the 
 
 fervant,.
 
 212 PEREGRINE. 
 
 fervant, whom Peregrine, by his fhabbf 
 appearance, immediately ccnjedured to be 
 of the tribe of literature. 
 
 My Lord bit his lips as he entered -, and, 
 turning to the window, breathed out a fud- 
 den oath again ft this intrufion, not ^o con- 
 fident with his uiual apathy. His courtly 
 fmile, however, fgoa returned -, and imme- 
 diately advancing to ths gentleman, he 
 received him wi:h that air of opennefs and 
 l^tisfadion which was well adapted to in- 
 fpire the notion of his being the mo^ 
 welcome vifitor his Lord (hip could have. 
 
 My Lord requefled him to take a chair ; 
 and feating himfelf on the fofa, entreated 
 that he would proceed to the promifed read- 
 ing of his tragedy. 
 
 " This gentleman," faid he, addrefling 
 Peregrine and Dexter, '' has v/rittea. a 
 tragedy, and has done me the honour to 
 
 fcled
 
 PEREGRINE. SI^ 
 
 feledl me out as his patron i and, according 
 to engagement, attends this day to read it» 
 The name of his piece is " La Guillotine 5" a 
 name he has chofen as bed adapted to the 
 variety both of the incidents and charadlers^ 
 as it comprehends not only one death, but 
 the execution of all who have fuffered from 
 the commencement of the Revolution, with 
 appropriate fpeeches for each charadler. I 
 have only to add, that it is written for one 
 of the beft .purpofes, that of calling down 
 the hatred of all mankind upon the chief 
 aclcrs in the murder of the King of 
 France." 
 
 Ti;e tragic poet bowed ; and upon the 
 invitation of the company, commenced his- 
 reading:. 
 
 During the whole of theperufal, my Lord 
 preferved a gravity which w^as truly admi- 
 rable, The fummons, ho.wever, to dinner 
 
 appeared
 
 ai4 PEREGRINE. 
 
 appeared equally grateful to every or.e ;, 
 and the tragic poet feeaied not the lead 
 pleafed of the company that he was politely . 
 requefted by the Earl to join the party. 
 
 CHAP. XVL 
 
 O time could pafs more agreeably than 
 Peregrine's in the fervice of this Nobleman: 
 in fome refpedls, indeed, he well merited 
 the reputation he enjoyed of being a Vhomme 
 d'agrjments. He had nothing of that 
 haughtinefs which ufuallychara(5lerlzesothers 
 of his rank ; he treated his dependants with 
 a familiar complaifance j and, what a rigid 
 
 moralift
 
 PEREGIIINE. ^t^ 
 
 morallft nilgbt not think much tohlspralfe, ^ 
 would rather commit even a crime than be 
 guilty of any brufqiierie : in a word, hs 
 was in every refped a man of the firfb 
 falhion. 
 
 Peregrine, however, was fomewhat fur- 
 prifcd at many incidents which he wi'nefTed. 
 One in particular excited an emotion dill 
 more lively than furprife. A lady, adiftant 
 relation of my Lord's family, having lofl: 
 her hufband in one of the campaigns of the 
 late war, was reduced to great llraights ; and 
 having a Ton who was now of age to enter 
 the army, (he folicited the intereft of my 
 Lord to procure him a commifTion. The 
 Earl, as was indeed ahvays his cuftom, pro- 
 mifed to exert himfclf j and as the widow 
 dill further prefTed him, pledged his honour 
 that he would advance him to'thefirflvacancy. 
 
 The lady had fcarcely left the houfe, when ' 
 
 a fellow
 
 ai^ PEREGRINE. 
 
 a fellow entered my Lord's apartment, who 
 had formerly been his fervanX, and in that 
 capacity had rendered him fuch fervices in 
 the courfe of his intrigues, that we fliould do 
 him no injuftice by the hardier name of a 
 procurer. The fellow had fince become a 
 ferjeant in one of the regiments of Guards. 
 
 Peregrine happened to be with my Lord 
 as this perion entered the apartment. The 
 feliovv informed the Earl of a vacant com- 
 mifiion, and wiiiiout ceremony demanded 
 it. My Lord objeded that he had already 
 promifed it to another, his own relation, and 
 endeavoured to divert the converfation to 
 a difFeient fubj^ft. The ferjeant replied fur^ 
 lily. To conclude "in one word, my Lord 
 beftowed thecommifilon upon him, and the 
 widow lady was-left to another time, to be 
 difappointed again perhaps in the fame 
 manner. 
 . - Nor
 
 PEREGRINE. 21/ 
 
 Nor was this the only incident of the 
 kind to which Peregrine was a witnefs, and 
 which leiTened in no confiderable a degree 
 the refpeA which he had hitherto enter- 
 tained of his Lorddiip. Such, however, 
 was his prefent tranquillity, that he was 
 beginning to believe that Fortune was tired 
 of her former caprice towards him, when a 
 fudden incident excited his alarm, and 
 appeared to menace him with an interrup- 
 tion of his repofe,__^ 
 
 My Lord, though in one of the firfl and 
 mail bufy pods in public bufinefs, had 
 fomething of that fingular vanity which is 
 faid to have polTefTed the illuftrious De 
 Wit, that of appearing to tranfad it v»'ith 
 the greateft eafe, and without any of that 
 ftudy and induftry which the nature of the 
 thing might demand, and Vv^hich might be 
 required of minds of an ordinary fize. 
 
 VOL. I. L Under
 
 2l8 PEREGRINE. 
 
 Under the influence of this afTefbation, he 
 feldom r.egleded to vifit the Opera and 
 play houfes. 
 
 A fplendid mafquerade was to be given 
 in the Haymarket. My Lord prefented 
 Peregrine with a ticket, and lequefted him 
 to accompany him. 
 
 At the proper hour the coach drove them 
 to the fcene of entertainment. , Peregrine/ 
 Vvho had little taftc for this kindof amufe- 
 ment, appeared in a do:;. mo > bu. .,y Lord, 
 who was nov\^ in his clement, chole a cha- 
 rader more fuited to h:s lalents and the 
 mode. They accordii^gly f parated almoft 
 as foon as they entered the ro.:>m, and each 
 mixed in different parts of the throng. 
 
 Peregrine was attacked v»^ith ail the im- 
 pertinence and petulant folly whidi are ufual 
 in fuch places j for as he knew no one, he 
 was of courfe addreffed for the moil part 
 
 only
 
 PEREGRINE. 219 
 
 only by thofe filles de joye who, in defplte 
 of every regulation, can be excluded from 
 no place which is to be entered by money. 
 He was flruck with fome furprife at the 
 flrangeja-mble of a mafquerade, where every 
 one, as indeed often happens in life itfelf, 
 feemed intent on chufing a part only for 
 the purpofe of a(fling as far as poflible out 
 of it, and where the humour of every 
 eharacfler confifted but in the awkwardnefs 
 with which it was reprefented, and the 
 incongruity between what might be ex- 
 ped:ed, and what was done. 
 
 He was interrupted in thefe refiedions 
 by the hafly approach of my Lord. 
 
 *' My dear friend," exclaimed the Noble^ 
 man, with that franknefs and animation 
 which fome liberal draughts of champagne 
 had infpired, " I have been feeking you 
 fome time, and in good earneft ftand in 
 L 2 need
 
 220 PEREGRINE. 
 
 need of your affiilance. I have been In 
 purfuit of an Emprcfs fince I left you, one 
 in the ma(k of a Sultana ; and, faith, if her 
 rank were equal to her beauty, her cha- 
 radler would not be perfonated : but, as luck 
 will have it, (he is not unattended ; (he has 
 fome puppy with her whom we muil deceive. 
 As to her, J fee I am fure of her ; and by 
 my honour,'* continued he, *' here they 
 both come V* 
 
 The lady, and the gentleman who attended 
 her, now came near the place where my 
 Lord and Peregrine were Handing j and the 
 latter being concealed behind one of the 
 pillars in the room, they did not appear 
 to fee him. 
 
 The gentleman addrefiing the lady, re- 
 queued her with fome earneftnefs to leave 
 the room ; but added to her enquiries, that 
 he could not fee her that evening in her 
 
 apart-
 
 PEREGRlNEi 221 
 
 npartmcnt, being otherwife engaged, and 
 on bufineis of fome importance. Without 
 further words, he prefented his hand to lead 
 her to her coach, and they retired. 
 
 ** Courage !" faid my Lord, who had 
 overheard all that had pafled j " follow me : 
 if every thing goes as hereto fvjre, I fee no 
 rcifon to defpair.** 
 
 Peregrine, from whatever caufe, appeared 
 here to relax fomething of his ufual feverity 
 of manners ; for whether he was dazzled by 
 the luxury of the fcene, or that the copious 
 draughts which my Lord had compelled 
 him to take, had thrown him off his guard, 
 certain it is he oppofed no obRacle to the 
 propofal of his patron, but taking off his 
 domino, followed him to the doors of the 
 theatre. They here faw the gentleman 
 afTifl the lady into the coach, take his 
 leave, and the carriage drove off. 
 
 L 3 My
 
 22f2 PEREGRINE. 
 
 My Lord, having heard the orders given 
 to the coachman, took the arm of Peregrine, 
 and giving the fame orders to a hack, de- 
 parted in the purfuit. 
 
 The coaches arrived at <hedoor of the lady's 
 houfe almofl: at the fame moment. My Lord 
 jumped out, and without ceremony followed 
 the objed of his purfuit into the paffage. 
 Peregrine was already about to accompany 
 him, when he fuddenly recognifed the houfe 
 of the miftrefs of Dexter and his former 
 friend, the young Vifcounr. 
 
 As the door was immediately fhut, Pere- 
 grine "thought it -advifable to retreat, and to 
 await in an oppofite cofFee-houfe the termi- 
 nation of this adventure. Difmining the 
 hack, therefore,- he v/ithdrew with this 
 intent. 
 
 He continued to amufe himfelf for fome 
 time with the converfation of fome news- 
 critics
 
 ^PEREGRINE. 22^ 
 
 critics whom he chanced to meet ; and the 
 window, clofe ^o which he fat, looking into 
 the ftreet, he had an opportunity of keeping 
 his eye fixed on the door which my Lord had 
 entered. His attention was called off by a 
 loud nolle in the room over head. Upon 
 enquiring into the caufe, he was told it was 
 a» billiard-room, and that the uproar might 
 have aiifen from fome of thofe quarrels which 
 ufually occur in fuch places. 
 
 The curiofity of Peregrine was excited ; 
 his late misfortune had impreflfed the very 
 name of a billiard- table on his memory in 
 charaders too flrong to be fuddenly erafed. 
 He immediately followed a part of the com- 
 pany to the fcene of confufion. The reader 
 may guefs that he felt fome furprife when 
 he recognifed his former friend, the young 
 Vifcount, in a pugiliftic attitude againft one 
 widi v;hom he appeared to have been playing. 
 L 4 He
 
 224 PEREGRINE. 
 
 He beheld with more pleafure his ever ready- 
 friend Dexter endeavouring to feparate them. 
 This indeed to all appearance was a matter 
 of no great difficulty j for ho w.ever clamorous 
 and enraged they appeared to be, the con- 
 queft feemed confined rather to mutual 
 defiances, than to any thing of a more adive 
 nature. Each of them feemed equally drunk. 
 Peregrine demanded of Dexter the caufe of 
 the difpute. 
 
 " Plague take them !'* replied he, " they 
 have no other caufes but that they have both 
 drank alike, and are blockheads alike ; and 
 the word of it is, they are both cowards 
 alike : fo that each continues to threaten the 
 other with what neither dares put in execu- 
 tion. I have no other wiili but that fome 
 one of the company would kick them down 
 {lairs i for my own part, they are not fo 
 
 drunk
 
 PEREGRINE. 225 
 
 drunk but that they both know me, or I 
 would do them that favour myfelf.'* 
 
 Of the gentlemen whom the noife had 
 fummoned above flairs, ibme were amateurs 
 of the fcience of pugilifm ; inftead of medi- 
 ating, therefore, they called loudly ^ov fair 
 play and a ring : and being feconded by 
 the majority of the company, a circle was 
 made, the two young boxers confi^ied within 
 it, and, to their evident confufion, there 
 appeared no efcape from an engagement more 
 decifive than that of words. 
 
 The combatants now lowered their tone; 
 and in defpite of the raillery of the company, 
 the whole affiiir was immediately compro- 
 mifed : the parties (hook hands ; and, amidfl 
 the hoots and general laughter of the aficm- 
 b!y, left the room. 
 
 Peregrine had the curioflty to follow them 
 
 to the dcor of the cciTce-room. His 
 
 L 5 cinbar-
 
 226 PEREGRINE. 
 
 embarraffiiient may be conceived when he 
 faw them" enter the houfe of Signora herfelf. 
 He was puzzled what would be the event 
 of the Earl's adventure ; for though every 
 one but the Vifcount himfelf knew Signora 
 to be regardlefs on whom (lie beftowed her 
 favours, in fuch credulity had the vanity 
 of this young Nobleman plunged him, that 
 he not only believed his miftrefs to be attached 
 to none but him, but, to ufe his own words, 
 ** would have pitted her chaftity againft that 
 of his own virgin aunt's,'* 
 
 What now v^as to be done ! In his em- 
 barraffment he did not hefitate to commu- 
 nicate the affair to Dexter, as his beft 
 refource. 
 
 " Courage, my friend !" faid Dexter, 
 taking his hand with an air of fatisfadion 
 which aftonifhcd • him ; '* your fortune is 
 niade. The Vifcount is indeed a notorious 
 
 coward i
 
 PEREGRINE. (2^7 
 
 coward ; but as he is at prefent warm with 
 wine, and is jealous of his mifirers to mad* 
 nefs, he will be hurried away by his palTions 
 to give your patron a challenge, which his 
 natural cowardice will caufe him to repent 
 when too late. Your fortune is made, my 
 friend !" 
 
 Peregrine regarded him with increafing 
 aftonifhment ; he could not well conceive 
 how his fortune could be made by a challenge 
 to his patron. 
 
 " I have not time to explain myfelf," 
 faid Dexter, in reply 'to his further interro- 
 gatories. " r again, however, repeat that 
 your fprtune is made, except it be your own 
 fault ', and as I (hall throw myfelfin the ^ 
 way of the Vifcount, I have fome hopes of 
 drawing a fimilar advantage to myfelf from 
 this incident. I have only to add one word 
 of advice. Whatever my Lord demands of 
 L 6 '^ you
 
 228 PEREGRINE. 
 
 you, do not Hefitate to comply. You know 
 me well enough to put fome confidence in 
 me ; do not hefitate, therefore, to comply 
 with whatever your patron may propofe, for 
 reft aiTured that I will bring you off with 
 honour. Give me your promife." 
 
 Though Peregrine as yet underftood 
 nothing of what was meant by Dexter, he 
 made no difficulty in giving him the dcfired 
 promife. 
 
 At this moment the ftreet-doorof Signora's 
 houfe opened, and Peregrine beheld my . 
 Lord fally forth. Taking a hafly leave 
 of Dexter, he followed his patron j but as 
 the night was dark, the hour late, and the 
 Earl hurried, he could gain no fight of him. 
 Being met by an old acquaintance, one of 
 thofe who think their own vacancy a fuffi- 
 cient excufe to trefpafs upon the moft ini- 
 portant time of another, he did not reach 
 
 the
 
 PEREGRINE. 22^ 
 
 the houic of his patron till a late hour. Upon 
 an enquiry, he found that the Nobleman had 
 already returned, and was retired to his 
 repofe. The porter added that the Earl 
 appeared fomewhat difturbed, and had de- 
 manded of him as he entered, if Peregrine 
 had as yet returned i and that upon being 
 anfwered in the negative, he appeared much 
 difappointed. 
 
 Peregrine's curiofity was ftill further aug- 
 mented by this account ; but as my Lord had 
 long retired to his apartment, he faw no hopes 
 of as yet gratifying it. He repaired to his cham- 
 ber, and we fcarcely need add that he had 
 feldom'waited with more impatience the ap- 
 proach of morning. No moments are more 
 tedious than thofe of fufpenfe. 
 
 CHAP.
 
 ajO PEREGRINE. 
 
 CHAP. XVII. 
 
 N the following morning, at an hour 
 foniewhat earlier, than ufual, Peregrine was 
 fummoned to,the breakfafl table of my Lord. 
 Peregrine was not without an apprehenfion 
 that the Earl would exprefs fome difcontent 
 upon his defertion of him the preceding 
 evening. He was,agreeably furprifed when 
 the Earl received him u]..on his entrance 
 with more than ufaal kindnefs. The No- 
 bleman immediately led the converfation to 
 the fubjed of his evening's adventure ; but 
 though he ^fibmed an air of raillery, and 
 ' ^ when
 
 PEREGRINE. 23I 
 
 when Peregrine mentioned the probable 
 confequence, affeded to confider it as tme 
 bagatelle^ it was eai'y to difcern an air of 
 embarraffment, and it required lefs fagacity 
 than that of Peregrine, to perceive that he 
 was not without a terror of what might 
 enfue. 
 
 My Lord new diverted the converfation 
 to another channel ; and having given Pere- 
 grine an opening to deliver his fentiments 
 upon fome matter of infignificance enough, 
 feized'his hand with eagernefs, and paying 
 him many compliments upon the general 
 ability he difcovered upon every fubje(fl> 
 addrefTed him with fome abruptnefs. 
 
 *« 1 have had many occafions, Sir^ to 
 remark that your talents are fuited to a far 
 higher hne than that of an amanuenfis : — yes, 
 Sir, this is not the firfl: time I have made 
 this obfervation. I am in a fituation of 
 
 fome
 
 232 PEREGRINE. 
 
 fome public refponfibility, and I confider it 
 as the duty of my office, to felect out fuch 
 for my patronage as may be ufeful to Govern- 
 ment. You may a/Ture yourfelf, Sir, that 
 I {hall not overlook you : from this day you 
 may confider me as your patron." 
 
 Peregrine felt fome furprife, but ftill more 
 fatisfaflion at this addrefs. Every one 
 believes that he poiTefies talents; and Pere- 
 grine was kd into a mamentary perfuafion 
 that he was one of the greatefh men of the 
 day. It is well known that the flattery of 
 their dependants is not without its effedt 
 upon ihe great : — is it a fubjecl of greater 
 furprife that the flattery of the great Ihould 
 have a fimiiar efFed: upon their dependants ? 
 
 My Lord now took up the paper of the 
 day, and continued to read for fome minutes, 
 when affecting fuddenly to recoiled hi mfelf — 
 " J'prcposy^ faid he, '^ have I fhevved you 
 
 the
 
 PEREGRINE. '2,23 
 
 the letter vvluch that foolilli young fellow, 
 the Vifcount, has fent me ? Plague take 
 the fellow and his miftrefs too !'* 
 
 Saying this, he put a billet into the hands 
 of Peregrine, and afFedting his former un- 
 concern, returned to the perufal of his newf- 
 paper. Peregrine found the billet to contaia 
 v/hat is utLally tranflated into d challenge. 
 He demanded of his patron how he intended 
 to proceed. 
 
 <* Why. that's the queftion," replied the 
 other. ''If I could follow my own inclination, 
 I (hould not hefitate to fatibfy the puppy, 
 and to difpatch him to the other world. 
 
 Peregrine was not deceived by this hec- 
 toring ; he began to read in my Lord's em- 
 barralTment, that he had as little inclination 
 for a duel as the Vifcount himfelf. The 
 Nobleman, however, thus continued : — 
 
 " But I owe it to my rank in the admi- 
 
 niftmtion.
 
 234 PEREGRINE. 
 
 niflration, and more particularly to my 
 friendfhip to the Vifcount's family, to con- 
 trive fome means to elude it. I can neither 
 perfuade myfelf to fet an example of fo 
 ferious a breach of moral duty as to engage 
 in a duel ; nor, as the challenge is delivered, 
 can I expofemy reputation to the fufpicion of 
 cowardice by an abfolute refufal. We live in 
 avvorld^ my good friend, where, if fomething 
 is due to morality, flill more is due to pre- 
 judice. Let the cynics afTume as their 
 motto — " Malunt ejfe quam videri,''* For 
 my part, 1 ("hall reverfe it, for I would rather 
 feem than be. Some method muil be found 
 to elude this appointment, and yet fave 
 
 appearances. If I had a friend '* 
 
 Peregrine could not mifunderftand the 
 look which accompanied thefe laft words. 
 He was fomewhat curious to . know the 
 conclufion. He did not hefitate to follow 
 
 the
 
 PEREGRINE. d^S 
 
 the advice of Dexter, and proffer himfelf 
 as ready for any fervice in which his patron 
 might chufe to employ him. 
 
 My Lord eagerly took him at his word. 
 • — '' And that you may fee," continued he, 
 *' that I do not require fervices without 
 acknowledging them, and that my frequent 
 profelTions of fatisficlion at your zeal were 
 not mere words I have procured you a pro- 
 mife of the firft vacant Enfigncy, and 1 hold 
 in my hand a letter from a gentleman in the 
 War Office, who has promifed his intereft 
 for your advancement.'* 
 
 Peregrine could make no other reply to 
 this addrefs, than by repeating that he was 
 at my Lord's fervice, and requefling a further 
 explanation. 
 
 *' If this be the cafe," continued the 
 Nobleman, <' you have only to acl a part, 
 which my letter, in anfvver to the Vifcount's 
 
 challenge.
 
 0.^6 PEREGRINE. 
 
 challenge, will fufficiently explain. But before 
 I read it to you, it may be neceflary to 
 preroife that, in honour, as in every other 
 code, it is an invariable law that prior 
 obligation lliail ever have the preference 
 before a pofterior one j "and that where two 
 debts concur, the fecond creditor mud wait 
 till the firft is fatisged, 'Tis upon this 
 principle that I proceed. Now then to the 
 letter. 
 
 To VifcGunt . 
 
 " MY LORD, 
 
 '« I have received your letter, and flatter 
 myfelf that I underftand it right. I am 
 under the mod lively concern that it is not 
 at prefent in my pov/er to honour your ap- 
 pointment according to my wifnes, for your 
 Lordfliip will readily believe that nothing 
 
 could
 
 PEREGRINE. 237 
 
 could give me equal pleafure as to give you 
 the fatisfadion you requeft^; but I am un- 
 fortunately, engaged to latisfy a prior debt 
 of the fame nature^ A quarrel in the play- 
 houfe with an Officer in the Guards, upoa 
 the fubjeft of a lady, caufed him to fend me 
 a challenge. The affair unfortunately took 
 wind, and the gentleman and myfelf were 
 put in fureties to keep the pe'ace for two 
 years. This term is yet unexpired, and of 
 courfe our affair is yet in fufpenfe. For this 
 caufe, my Lord, it is wholly out of my powe. 
 to anfwer your Lord (hip's appointment at 
 the prefent time ; but my firft debt will 
 no fooner be paid, than I (hall fly to anfwer 
 the fecond. 
 
 '' Your's, 
 
 ^' OLOSSOVER.*' 
 
 " P. S. The OfEccr I allude to, is now in 
 
 town, at No. i8, Clarge^-Street. His name 
 
 4} - is
 
 238 PEREGRINE. 
 
 is Enfign Peregrine H. If your Lordfliip 
 would give him a call in perfon, you might 
 perhaps prevail upon him to furrender to 
 yourfelf his prior right of calling me out. I 
 flatter myfeif you will fucceed. 
 
 *' GLOSSOVER." 
 
 '' There, my friend/* continued my Lord, 
 addrefling Peregrine, " what think you of 
 this? As to the houfe in Clarges-Street, I 
 know lodgings are to bs let there. You 
 mufl go and take them without lofs of time ; 
 and, as^to your part, fliould my Lord honour 
 you with a vifit, I leave it to your own dif- 
 cretlon." 
 
 They were here interrupted by a fervant, 
 who delivered a letter into the Nobleman's 
 hand. To explain its fubjedV, it will be 
 fufficient to fay that Dexter, as he had told 
 
 Peregrine,
 
 PEREGRINE. 239 
 
 Peregrine, refolved to avail hlmfelf of this 
 fame incident, the duel, and to play upon the 
 cowardice of the Vifcount. JHe had paid 
 him, therefore, a morning vifit ; and finding 
 him, as he had expeded, refenting his 
 fudden heroifm, he prefented him a bill, 
 which had remained fame time with him, and 
 of which he had hitherto defpaired to procure 
 payment. It was not difficult to obtain the 
 Vifcount*s confidence ; it was flili lefs fo, 
 to the ingenuity of Dexter at lead, to fuggeft 
 a happy method of eluding it. The Vif- 
 count in rapture adopted it. The letter 
 itfelf will explain what remains. 
 
 To Lord Gloffbver. 
 
 *^ MY LORD, 
 
 " I requefled you this morning 
 to give me a meeting in Hyde Park i and 
 
 in
 
 240 PEREGRINE. 
 
 in full confidence that you would honour my 
 appointment, was already preparing witli 
 -much fatisfadion for the interview. Your 
 Lorddiip may conceive my difappointment 
 when I was fumrnoned down to receive the 
 vifit of one of the fitting magiftrates. My 
 valet de chambre\s2A feen me load my piftols ; 
 and conje6luring my purpofe, the rafcal has 
 had the villany to betray me to the police. 
 I was compelled to give my honour that the 
 affair fhould proceed no further ; but I mud 
 inform your Lordfhip that I do not con- 
 fider his promife as extending to confine my 
 condud in any other country but England. 
 As I wifh nothing, therefore, fo much as to 
 meet your Lordfhip, I have this moment 
 fet off for the Continent, in any kingdom 
 or province of which! amatyour'Lordfhip's 
 fervice. I fhall remain at Strafburgh fome 
 weeks. 
 
 Syllabub
 
 PEREGRINE. 24I 
 
 ^* P. S. I hope your Lordfliip will not 
 folicit for the pardon of my rafcal, the valet 
 de chambre^ for I proteft 1 can never forgive 
 bitn for this ad of treachery ; and the lefs 
 {q^ as 1 have fo little merited it. 
 
 '^ SYLLABUB.** 
 
 My Lord and Peregrine united in a laugh 
 at this manoeuvre of the Vifcount. 
 
 *« Plague take the coward ! — does he think 
 I fhall follow him over the Continent ? He 
 knows, moreover, that my office, will not 
 fuffer me to leave my country. Plague take 
 him for a coward ! 
 
 VOL. I. M CHAP.
 
 242 PEREGRINE* 
 
 / 
 
 CHAP. XVIII. 
 
 JL HE increafing favour of his patron could 
 not but excite in the mind of Peregrine 
 the mod lively hopes of a final eftablifhment. 
 It is true that he had been before deceived 
 by the promifes of a patron, and nothing is 
 more difficult than to eradicate that con- 
 fidence which flatters our wiQies. He now, 
 therefore, began to congratulate himfelf that 
 he was in the dired: road of promotion ; he 
 was already impatient for the promifed En- 
 figncy ; and in every fervant that knocked at 
 the door, he imagined he beheld a meflenger 
 
 from
 
 PEREGRINE. 243 
 
 from the War Office. But my Lord ufually 
 fettled his promifes as he did his other debts ; 
 and as the retreat .of the Vifcount had render- 
 ed the fervices of Peregrine unnecefTary, he 
 remembered his promile only to contrive 
 cxcufes to elude it. A fudden incident, 
 howevei:, changed my Lord's refolution ; he 
 again became the warm friend of Peregrine ; 
 and, as our readers will fee in this chapter, 
 adually performed a promife for once, 
 though, unfortunately for Peregrine, in- 
 effedually. Such was the continued caprice 
 of Fortune againft him. 
 
 As my Lord and Peregrine were at break* 
 fad together, the former received a letter, 
 wliich caufed him an evident embarraffment. 
 I'i.e curiofity of Peregrine was excited j but 
 as my Lord did not think proper to explain, 
 we mud here do it for hiai. 
 
 Lord GiolTover had married early in life 
 M 2 the
 
 244 PEREGRINE. 
 
 the heirefs of a great eftate; and what may- 
 be thought fingular in a man of my Lord's 
 charader, and the lady's fafhion, they had 
 not only married from mutual regard, but, 
 W feveral years after their union, the fidelity 
 of each to the other had continued equally 
 exemplary. At length my Lord returned to 
 his former libertine pradices : the lady made 
 many remonftrances -, my Lord did not en- 
 tirely negledt them, for as the prudence of his 
 wife's guardians had fettled almoft the whole 
 of her property on herfelf, he was in fome 
 degreeidependant on her liberality. Hitherto, 
 therefore, he had been careful to conceal 
 as much as poflible, his many infidelities. 
 The jealoufy of his v/ife at length deteded 
 him, and infifted on the immediate difmifTal 
 of his kept-miftrefs, threatening an inftant 
 profecution in cafe of refufal, the event of 
 which could not have been lefs than a fepa- 
 
 ration.
 
 PEREGRINE^ 245 
 
 ration, and thus the lofs of the greater part 
 ^ of his wife's fortune. 
 
 Such was the fubjed of the letter ; and 
 my Lord, however little inclined to com- 
 pliance, found it his intereft to fubmit. 
 
 My Lord left Peregrine to pay a vifit to 
 his miftrefs j and thinking for once that 
 frank nefs might prove better policy than 
 difTimulation, put into her hands the letter 
 cf his wife, and explained with great inge- 
 nuoufncfs his neceffity of complying with it. 
 The lady, without any thing of that malig- 
 nant violence of pafTion which might have 
 been expected in a female lefs refined, con- 
 tented herfelf with reminding him of an 
 article which had been agreed between them 
 upon their firft connexion, that (hould fuch 
 a difTolution of their tie take place, my 
 Lord engaged to provide his difcarded 
 miftrefs a permanent eftablilhment. 
 
 M 3 My
 
 246 PEREGRINE. 
 
 My Lord bowed ; and promifing to fulfil 
 the engagement, took his leave with his 
 ufual politenefs. 
 
 In his way home, he happened to pafs 
 the War Office j and whether any nsw cir- 
 cumftance had revived in Lis memory the 
 commiflTion of Peregrine, or that he had 
 really intended to demand it at this period, 
 he called upon his friend, and did not leave 
 him till he brought away the commiffion ia 
 his pocket. 
 
 Peregrine in the meantime had fallied 
 forth upon a morning appointment to his 
 friend Dexter. Though fomcwhat late, 
 he found him ftill at his brcakfaft table, 
 with two or three companions, who took 
 llieir leave as Peregrine entered. 
 
 It may be eafily fuppofcd that their con- 
 verfaiion commenced, and continued fomc 
 
 time
 
 PEREGRINE. 247 
 
 time upon the fubjeft of the late chal- 
 lenges, and that Dexter explained more fully 
 to Pereo;rine the advantage which he had 
 
 o o 
 
 drawn by playing upon the cowardice of the 
 Vifcounc. 
 
 Peregrine next demanded of Dexter who 
 were the gentlemen which he had obfcrved 
 leave the room as he entered. 
 
 " Men of our own ftamp,'^ replied Dex- 
 ter, ** Chevaliers d'Efprits — gentlemen who 
 mud live upon their wits, like you and 
 n^yfelf ; and, to do them juftice, they do 
 not want talents for their fituation. One of 
 them eats daily one of the bed dinners in the 
 town without ever paying a (hilling, or 
 making any other return whatever but by 
 praifing it. The manner in which he 
 has fuiced himfelf for his fituation, and pro- 
 cured it, is a fatisfadory proof of his talents. 
 M 4 Having
 
 248 PEREGRINE. 
 
 Having, by fome means or other, pur- 
 (chafed the comminFion of an Enfign in a 
 new-raifed regiment, and thus being ever 
 upon half-pay, he accomplilhed his firfl 
 flep, that of appearing in the charadler of 
 a gentleman, and obtaining an introdudlion 
 into one or two families. His fucceeding 
 one was ftill more fmgular. Under the 
 difguife of a livery fervant, he introduced 
 himfelf to a celebrated paflry-cook and 
 maiire de viandes in Bond-Street; and for five 
 guineas, and the pradice of two months, 
 obtained a fufficient knowledge of his art, 
 and thus became a critic in his profefijon — 
 that of a table parafite. 
 
 *' He now therefore commenced the exer- 
 cife. A foup of a new and excellent flavour 
 introduced into his 7nefSy excited the atten- 
 tion of his brother Oiiicers ; and as the 
 Colonel was to give, a few days afterwards, 
 
 a dinner
 
 PEREGRINE, 249 
 
 a dinner of fome ftate, the new foup, as a 
 delicacy, was an objed of defire. The recipe 
 was requefted , and of courfe its pofleiTor, 
 the Enfign, made one of the company. 
 
 ** By this and other fimilar means, by the^ 
 isTtfodudtion of new fauces, a nevv combina- 
 tion of mixed difhesr— in a word, by the 
 exercife of all the arts of cookery, for no 
 other pay than that of partaking his own 
 labours, he has rendered himfelf not only 
 generally ferviceabie, but generally a fa- 
 vourite. His intereft with the great is by 
 no means contemptible y and I would advife 
 you to cultivate his acquaintance : yoa 
 "may find him of ftill greater benefit, as in, 
 lofing me, you are about to iofe a guide wha 
 has laved you from many errors.'* 
 - ** Lofiiig you!" (aid Peregrine 3 '^ what 
 do you mean r" 
 
 ^' I mean,'* replied Dexter, <* that having 
 M _5 been
 
 25^ PEREGRINE^ 
 
 been the plaything of Fortune long enough, 
 I have now fome hopes of efcaping from her 
 further ju ifdidtion ; in a word, I am in 
 hourly expedation of reaping the fruits of 
 my labours : and having hitherto been a 
 flave to the caprices of others, at length to 
 fet up for myfslf. The moment cannot 
 arrive too foon for my wifhes." 
 
 A fervant here entered, and delivered a 
 letter to Dexter, who eagerly opened it. 
 He had fcarcely examjned the contents, 
 when, uttering an exclamation of joy, he 
 ran eagerly to a kind of a cabinet, and 
 feizing its contents, cards, dice, and other 
 inftruments of gaming, to the afloniOiment 
 of Peregrine, who began to apprehend that 
 he had loft his fenfes, he 'committed them 
 all to the flames. 
 
 " There,'' faid he, apoftrophizing thefe 
 former inftruments of his trade, *' you have 
 
 done
 
 PEREGRINE. SJI 
 
 done me all the good I wiQied ; it (hall be 
 my fault if you undo it by any future 
 harm/* 
 
 Seeing the furprife of Peregrine, be put 
 into his hands the letter he had juft received. 
 There were two. The contents of that 
 which Dexter defired him to read firft, were 
 as®)llow : — 
 
 To T. Dexter^ Efq. 
 
 ** MY DEAR FRTEND, 
 
 " I know nothing that gavc^ 
 me more concern than that I had it not in 
 my power to honour m.y bills in your pof- 
 fefiion, I am the more concerned at this, 
 as I have this moment procured you a 
 lucrative place in the ifland of Jamaica, 
 m6 and
 
 2£2 PEREGRINE. 
 
 and you may perhaps require the money 
 
 to make your preparations of departure. 
 
 Enclofed you will receive your brevet of 
 
 appointment, A fervant awaits your an- 
 
 fwer. 
 
 " Your*s, &c. &c.'' 
 
 Peregrine was occupied in congratulating 
 his friend upon this unexpe(5i:ed turn of 
 good fortune, when he ' beheld his own 
 patron, my Lord GlofTover, approaching. 
 Dexter. now took a hafty leave. 
 
 **^ Farewell, Peregrine — ^farewell, my 
 friend!** faid hcj '' I have at length found 
 a port, and, fecure from wind and tidcj 
 have nothing to dread in future. It is your 
 fate to remain in the hands of chance fome 
 time longer. Take the laft parting advice 
 of one who has feen and fufFered much,, and 
 
 h^s
 
 . PEREGRINE. 2^53 
 
 has learned, by his own experience, the mofl: 
 ufetul, and at one time or another, the mod 
 effedual of all fciences, that of the know- 
 ledge of the world. Remember thefe two 
 rules in which the greater part of that know- 
 ledge is fummed up : — in the firft place, 
 that an hour's labour to one pofTefied of this 
 knowledge, is more produ6live than that of 
 a day to one without it ; in the fecond 
 place, remember it is the firfl: principle of 
 this fcience, to depend upon no one but 
 yourfelf. Avoid the folly, therefore, of 
 droning away life in idle expeftations ; ex- 
 ped nothing from gratitude, nothing from 
 friendlhip, nothing from patronage. It is 
 true that fomething, that much will fome- 
 timcs relult to you. from even thefe re- 
 fources ; but avoid the folly of reckoning 
 upon them, and learn to confider them as 
 the favourable caprices of Fortune. Seize 
 
 Oppor-
 
 254 PEREGRINE. 
 
 Opportunity when (he offers -, the fortune of 
 our lives is often fixed by the moment.** 
 
 Dexter now took a hafly leave, and my 
 Lord in the fame inftant joined Peregrine, 
 He loft not a moment in informing Pere- 
 grine of the fuccefs of his call at the War 
 Office. Peregrine now thought his fortune 
 made. My Lord continued — 
 
 " Nor is this the only affair in which I 
 have interefted myfelf in your welfare. 
 Your fortune is now in your own hands : I 
 fliall charge myfelf with your future pro- 
 motion ; for I am fo well perfuaded of your 
 merit, that I fhould tax myfelf with negli- 
 gence of the interefts of my country, if I 
 failed to raife you to that elevation where it 
 can alone be of effed.'^ 
 
 We fliali not trouble the reader wi-th the 
 
 v/hule of my Lord's addrefs ; it is fufficient 
 
 to add; that the fubftance of the whole 
 
 5 amounted
 
 PEREGRINE. 255 
 
 amounted to tbij; — that my Lord was fo 
 fully convinced of his merit, that he had 
 feledled him out of the whole world as the 
 only man who deferved to be the hufband 
 of his mift efs. 
 
 It is necdiefs to add that Peregrine rejected 
 the propofal with indignation, and that my 
 Lord retired with his ufual politenefs. Pere- 
 grine replied to his bow only by abruptly 
 leaving him. 
 
 '' Alas !" faid he to himfelf, " and are 
 iiich men the patrons of the day ?'* 
 
 CHA1\
 
 2^6 PEREGRINE, 
 
 CHAP. XIX 
 
 A common Charafter. 
 
 EREGRINE, as the reader knows, was 
 no great favourite of Fortune ; but he was 
 pofTefled of that difpofuion of Uiind which 
 can make a man happy in fpite of her. He 
 was of" a temper thje moil fanguine and enter- 
 {)rifing ; and in every difafter and accident 
 cfjife, he had a mofc lively knack of (liiftiiig 
 off the weight of his misfortunes, by fixing 
 his thoughts upon better days. 
 
 A phi!orop!)icarv\ricer, of great reputation 
 
 among
 
 PEREGRINE. 257 
 
 among the clafs of Deifts, has fpread among 
 his many maxims of irreligious abfurdity, 
 feme few of real wifdom and folid morality. 
 — *' I (liould reckon," fays he, *'.a languine 
 temper more valuable than an cftate often 
 thoufand per annum,''* 
 
 A difpofition of this kind Peregrine had 
 in perfedion. Though he was now thrown 
 out of all employment — though he had now 
 loft his patron — or, in other words, hadgiven 
 him up, he was not much dejedted. 
 
 As he was walking in the Park, ruminating 
 on his condition, he was accofted by a gen- 
 tleman of good air and perfon, but not very 
 reputably drefied. 
 
 Peregrine, who had not one fpark of 
 referve or pride in his difpofition, returned 
 the falutation, and joined hmi. This gen- 
 tleman was in truth a fingular charadler: he 
 was a fchoolfcUow of Peregrine, and belonged 
 
 ta
 
 258 PEREGRINE. 
 
 to the fame College. His name was Volant. 
 He had been remarkable in early life for a 
 ftrong and penetrating genius, and all thofe 
 other qualities which are fo often celebrated 
 in boys who turn out extraordinary men. 
 
 As his parents, though in good circum- 
 ftances, were not rich, they had intended 
 to remove him from fchool before he had 
 gone through it, alledging their incapacity 
 to fupport him* The mailer, who befriended 
 him on account of his lingular talents, offered 
 to furniOi the expences of his education, and 
 procured for him, by his intereft, a ftudent- 
 fliip at Oxford. Here likewife he was no 
 lefs admired ; but the greatnefs of his genius 
 was unfortunately not balanced by any ftea- 
 dinefs of mind, and this was the rock oa 
 which h:- fpiit. 
 
 Hi> f^rft iiclinatlon w^s to take Oncers -^ 
 and he had no (ooner taken his degree^ 
 
 than
 
 PEREGRINE. Q.CC^ 
 
 than he gave himfelf up to the fludy of 
 divinity. His progrefs was no lefs rapid, 
 than his application was ftrenuous and unrer 
 mitting. He examined all the arguments 
 of his religious faith, compared the different 
 fydems of belief, and pointed out the 
 weaker parts in each. He wrote commeji- 
 taries on Chiliingworth and Tillotfon, and 
 marked out the advantages obtained over 
 them by their adverfaries, which he charged 
 on the'r infufficiency to fupport the contcft. 
 Sometimes he was angry with Erafmus for 
 having drawn, with too rough a hand, the^ 
 wholefome^veil of fupcrftition from the 
 Romifh Church ; and fometimes hecenfured 
 him, as wanting all fenfe of true religion 
 and piety, Martin Luther was, in his opi* 
 nion, an intcrefted man, and projected a 
 reformauon to gratify an individual malice. 
 Calvin he confidercd a hot-headed bigot, 
 
 and
 
 26o PEREGRINE. 
 
 and condemned his fevericy to the Church 
 of Rome, which he^ thought differed from 
 the Proteftant in ceremonials fo trifling and 
 une0ential, that perfecution was fcandalous 
 on both fides. In (hort, fo high was his 
 reputation in his College, that he was pro- 
 pofed, and on the eve of being chofea 
 Le8urer on Divinity^ when an accident over- 
 turned his defign. 
 
 The adizes were held at Oxford, and 
 trials of great intereft were expe(5led. Vo- 
 lant attended. Mr. E«- — , the celebrated 
 pleader, was engaged in a caufe, which he 
 defended with his ufual ability, and, to the 
 furprife of the Court, wrefted from the Jury 
 a favourable and unexpeded decifidn. 
 
 Volant returned that night to his rooms 
 in a thoughtful mood. He confidered, had 
 he been Counfel for the prifoner, whe- 
 ther he could have been equally fuc- 
 
 cefsfuL
 
 PEREGRINE. 26 1 
 
 ccrbful. He revolved all the arguments 
 in his mind, and was aftonifhed at his 
 own ingenuity ; he could have adduced 
 flronger reafons, arguments of greater per- 
 fuafion, and parallels of more powerful 
 illuftration. He could have detedled falfe- 
 hood and prejudice with more readinefs, 
 and have appealed with more pathos to the 
 pafiions of the Jur)^ Befides, when he con- 
 fidered the metaphors, the figures, and the 
 fmiiiies which the pleader had made ufe of, 
 though fome of them were appofite enough, 
 yet many were unclallical ; then his fyllogifms 
 were not always correal, and his method 
 of argumentation was fometimes loofe, 
 and fometimes quaint ; oftentimes v\eak 
 when the caufe moil preiTed for fupport, 
 and frequently ftrong and dcmonftrative in 
 felt-evident truths. 
 
 From this moment, all thouohts of 
 
 divinity
 
 262 PEREGRINE. 
 
 divinity vaniihed. Volant .tranfported bim- 
 fclf to town, took chambers at the Temple, 
 and commenced the ftudy of tlie law. All 
 obftacles gave v^ay to a genius fo enter- 
 prifmg and intrepid. He foon reported, and 
 put cafes with tolerable accuracy, and was 
 on the eve of being called to the bar, when 
 a friend took him one evening to Drury- 
 lane playhoufe. A tragedy of Otway was 
 performed. Volant had not till now been 
 an admirer of the drama; but was at once 
 inflamed with emulation, and fighed for the 
 reputation cf a poet. Coke and Littleton 
 were foon put afide, and Viner and Fortefcue 
 \s'ere fucceeded by Sophocles and Euripides. 
 He examined all the models of ancient per- 
 fect ion ; and heating his imaginaiion with 
 the enthufiafm of poetry, laboured night 
 and day to produce a work which might \ie 
 with thofe of the moft excellent in the 
 
 dramatic
 
 PEREGRINE. 263 
 
 dramntic art. He found, however, that 
 folitary ftudy and intenfe application were 
 ill-fuited to a refidence in town ; he liad 
 heard, likewife, that the imagination was 
 mod vivid and produdtive, and the fancy 
 bed delivered of her offspring in the bowers 
 of retirement, and the (hades of obfcurity. 
 
 For this purpofe he fold his chambers, 
 and hired lodgings at Turnhain Green, where, 
 after a conftant refidence, and unremittins: 
 application for fix months, he produced a 
 tragedy. 
 
 He immediately offered it to the manager, 
 who, he thought, received it with an air 
 of too much hauteur^ and did not condc-' 
 fcend to honour him even with the flighted 
 thanks. 
 
 This v/as fomevvhat extraordinary ; but 
 this d;d not dejed Volant; he was to call 
 in a month for an anfwer. He was punc- 
 tual to the time, and went, not with the 
 
 fluttering
 
 264 PEREGRINE. 
 
 fluttering of fearful expedlation, but with 
 a heart beating like a champion's on the day 
 of battle, v/ith the ready afTurance of honour 
 and reward. 
 
 He was admitted to the manager, who 
 returned him his tragedy, adding — " that, 
 though excellent in its kind, it was not 
 adapted for reprefentation."" 
 
 Thunderftruck with what he heard, he 
 had not the power of anfwering. All hopes 
 from, the ftage vanillied, and he now betook 
 himfelf to fome new fcheme. He hired a 
 large room, purpofing to give a courfe of 
 le<^ures on Natural Philofophy, 
 
 He was adually diftributing cards In pur- 
 fuit of this object, wjien he encountered 
 Peregrine. After fome converfation, Pere- 
 grine demanded of him what were his hopes 
 of faccefs from his new Icheme. Volant 
 gave liim to underftand that many fucceeded 
 
 as
 
 Peregrine. 265 
 
 as Lecturers in the Arts and Sciences, whofe 
 knowledge was not equal to any tLing more 
 than the drawing up of a prolpedtus, and 
 that he therefore might very well entertain 
 better hopes, fince he at lead underftood 
 what he undertook to teach. — " And," 
 added he, '* if this fcheme fails, I have 
 another." 
 
 Peregrine demanded what it was. 
 ** To go upon thtjage,** replied Volant j 
 ^* I have already turned it in my thougiits.'* 
 " Upon the ftage !" exclaimed Peregrine* 
 *' Aye : do not you think me qualifie 1 ?" 
 '" I would not have you fink yourfelf,*' 
 returned Peregrine, « hy a profeiTion which, 
 though it may not difgrace a fhopkeeper or 
 the clerk of a counting-houfe, muft infal- 
 libly degrade a gentleman." 
 
 '' You mufl know,'' cried Volant, 
 
 ** I have as defpicable an opinion of it as 
 
 VOL. I. N yourfelf;
 
 26.6 PEREGRINE. 
 
 yourfelf j but my defign of going upon the 
 ftage is for the purpofe of getting my tragedy 
 on ! The adors now are our principal 
 dramatic writers, and have blocked up the 
 approach of every author who is not of their 
 own fraternity." 
 
 '' But you will incenfe your family," cried 
 Peregrine, and forfeit the favour of your 
 patrons." 
 
 *' I'll provide againft that/' rejoined 
 Volant, " Every new adlor appears in an 
 affumed name — ' A young gentleman,* you 
 know, * being liis firil appearance on any 
 ftage.'— If I fucceed, I will difown my 
 patrons ; if I fail, they ihall know nothing 
 about the attempt." 
 
 Peregrine tried to rally him out of his 
 abfurd fchemc, but Volant perfifted. 
 
 ** By the bye," continued he, ** what 
 characler would you have me fix upon V 
 
 1 '* I cannot
 
 ^ PEREGRINE, ^ 267 
 
 *« I cannot pretend to advife you,'* faid 
 Peregrine. 
 
 *« You mud know, then," continued 
 Volant, " I have fixed on one already ! 
 What think you of OthellQ f The maik 
 hkles my face, and nobody will know me." 
 
 Peregrine thought it an Ingenious device 5 
 and after fome more converfation, they 
 parted, having in the courfe of their conver- 
 fation walked over half the town. 
 
 END OF VOL. I. 
 
 lANX, MINKKVA-PRESS, X.KADXNK ALL»8TKS£t,
 
 m 
 
 Juji puUiJiedy 
 
 THE 
 
 VILLAGE PASTOR 
 
 AND 
 
 HIS CHILDREN 
 
 IN FOUR VOLS. 12M0. 
 
 Price iSs. fenved.
 
 
 UNIVERSITY OP ILUN0I9-URBANA 
 
 3 0112 049749747 
 
 \ c.