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 0^ Ea^"^ 
 
 NIKOLAI Y. GOGOL. 
 
 XoxE of the many provinces of Eussia possess more interest for 
 "Western nations than the Ukraina, the land where North and 
 South meet, a region of boundless plains, of melancholy aspect 
 and complex character. The Turk and the Pole once ruled 
 there, and have left many traces of their dominion behind them, 
 while the old Cossack leagues imparted, as it were, a republican 
 spirit to the province. All students of Eussian history are 
 familiar with those warriors of the Don, the Zaporozhtsui — 
 recruited among brigands and fugitive serfs — whose hands were 
 raised against every man, and who knew no law save that of 
 the sword. It was from one of these Zaporog families, which 
 have transmitted to their descendants such a keen appreciation 
 of the adventurous and the marvellous, that sprang the true 
 founder of the Russian school of fiction, Nikolai Vasilyevitch 
 Gogol*-Yanovsky, the author of " Dead Souls." It was in the 
 heart of the Ukraina, too, on his father's farm at Scrotchintsui, 
 not far from the historical city of Poltava, that he first saw the 
 light, on the 31st of March, 1809. 
 
 Eeared near the famous battlefield which w^itnessed the 
 giant contest between Charles XII of Sweden and the great 
 Czar of Muscovy, instructed in the old-time songs and legends 
 of the Malo-Eussians, his mind became imbued at an early age 
 with warlik e and poetic folk-lore, whence he afterwards derived 
 materials for his first noticeable work. Educated first at Pol- 
 tava and subsequently at Xiezhin, he proved but an indifferent 
 scholar, preferentially exercising his satirical powers at the 
 expense of his schoolfellows. However, if he did not quite 
 
 * The gogol i 3 a species of duck called the^olden-eye. 
 
 167990
 
 Va KIKOLAI V. GOGOL. 
 
 satisfy his teachers, he evinced at an early age a marked taste 
 for literature, for whilst at Niezhin he started a manuscript 
 journal, in which he inserted stories, tragedies, ballads, and 
 satirical sketches from his own pen. Having with some diffi- 
 culty graduated, he repaired in 1829 to St. Petersburg, fired 
 with enthusiasm and dreaming of speedy glory. Like a genuine 
 Zaporog, indeed, he entered the capital as though it were a 
 conquered city, feeling convinced that he had merely to stretch 
 out his hands to secure possession of every possible felicity. 
 But in (peSMhereof he found the stern realities of life, and 
 met with many discouraging failures. An idyllic story ,> entitled 
 Hans Kiichel-Garten , which he published anonymously, was so 
 mercilessly ridiculed by the reviewers, that he immediately 
 withdrew it from circulation and burnt all the copies that he 
 could lay his hands upon. He was, in fact, so disheartened 
 that he resolved to turn his attention to the stage, and actually 
 applied to the director-general of the Imperial theatres for an 
 engagement ; but it was found that he did not possess a suf- 
 ficiently powerful voice to shine in the profession, and he had 
 to look for an opening elsewhere. 
 
 Early in 1830, one of his stories, known in England as " St. 
 John's Eve," appeared anonymously in a Russian periodical, 
 and shortly afterwards he secured a very insignificant appoint- 
 ment at the Ministry of Appanages. Here his official duties 
 were paltry in the extreme, but he exercised his mind to 
 advantage by studying the clerks and functionaries around him, 
 portraits of many of whom are to be found in his works. 
 
 Soon afterwards, having shaken off" the yoke of bureaucratic 
 slavery, he again began to write, and sought the advice of the 
 celebrated poet Pushkin. The latter advised him to appeal for 
 inspiration to national history and the popular lore of his native 
 province. He did so, the outcome of his efforts being the 
 "Evenings in a Hamlet near Dikanka," which teemed with 
 recollections of the Ukraina, his personal remembrance of his 
 birth-place being interspersed with weird and grotesque excerpts 
 of legendary lore. The "Evenings " met with considerable suc- 
 cess, and apart from any other merit, they possessed that of 
 depicting life in a part of Russia then but little known. This
 
 NIKOLAI V. GOGOL. VH 
 
 being duly appreciated, Gogol felt encouraged, and published, 
 in 1834, a second series of stories, entitled " Tales of Mirgorod."' 
 These included his famous epic poem in prose, " Taras Bulba," 
 a'^ti'rriiig narrative of Cossack life in former times, which 
 en'sured "Eis reputation. " He was at once placed in the front 
 rank of the authors of the day, and a brilliant career was pre- 
 dicted for him. 
 
 He had in the meanwhile become a teacher of Russian at the 
 Patriotic Institute ; and the success of " Taras Bulba " proved 
 so great, and such a decided opinion was expressed in high 
 quarters that a man who thus revivified the past must be 
 skilled in teaching it, that he was appointed professor of 
 media3val history at the university of the capital. His opening 
 lecture there was a brilliant success, completely confirming all 
 these favourable anticipations, and once or twice, upon subse- 
 quent occasions, he fairly electrified his audience. But on the 
 whole his course was very unsatisfactory. " His lectures," 
 says the Russian writer Ivanitsky, who was a pupil at the time, 
 " soon became very dry and tedious. He looked upon the dead 
 nations of the past with dreary eyes, as it were ; the work was 
 wearisome to him, and he himself saw that his audience was 
 bored." 
 
 In fact, he was dreaming of other things. Already in the 
 "Tales of Mirgorod" he had inserted a short story, which 
 marked a change both in his style and ideas. Previously he 
 had belonged to the romantic school, but in this little narrative, 
 called " Old-Fashioned Folks," he evinced a sudden partiality for 
 realismj.jdiidL^£K.iipoii-luia. apace. In 1835 he resigned his 
 functions as a professor to devote himself exclusively to litera- 
 ture, penning comedies, stories, and sketches with feverish 
 activity. Among his productions at this period one may mention 
 the story of " Akakiy_Akakievitch ^s_.Kew _ Cloak," which was 
 based upon his experiences whilst he acted as a clerk at the 
 Ministry of Appanages. It was the first blow w hich he dealt at 
 the Russian system of govermaont, the second being his famous 
 comedy, " TLo luhpoctor-GcDcral," which was written in 1836, 
 and in which he exposed the venality, hypocrisy, and underhand 
 intrifruing of the Russian functionaries. With the erroneous ideas
 
 / 
 
 Vlll NIKOLAI Y. GOGOL. 
 
 that prevail as to the narrow-minded tyranny of the Emperor 
 Nicholas, it seems strange that such a scathing satire upon his 
 government should ever have been publicly performed at St. 
 Petersburg. However, it was the Emperor himself who, after 
 reading the manuscript and laughing at it, ordered his comedians 
 to perform the play ; and on the first night he personally gave 
 the signal for applause. The result of " The Inspector-General," 
 as regards Gogol, was precisely the same as the result of " Tar- 
 tuffe " with Moliere : he gained many admirers and a still greater 
 number of enemies ; and so sensitive was his mind that, upon 
 being traduced and reviled by those whom he had so com- 
 mendably denounced, he lost all his buoyant spirits, and hypo- 
 chondria set in. Thanks to the munificence of the Emperor 
 Nicholas, he was at this period able to leave Eussia for a time 
 and travel through the Continent ; but the gloom which had 
 settled upon his mind was not to be dispelled, and in writing to 
 his friends he frequently remarked that he felt utterly weary in 
 both body and mind. 
 
 He had taken away with him on his travels the idea of penning 
 a masterpiece, in which he would say everything that ought to 
 be said for the enlightenment of iiis countrymen. This was the 
 story 2Icrtvui(( Dushi (" Dead Souls "), a translation of which is 
 now offered to the English reader. Pushkin, so Gogol himself 
 declares, had given him the foundation of his plot ; but to many 
 it would seem to have been borrowed from Cervantes. Indeed, 
 in numerous respects, " Dead Souls " recalls the immortal story 
 of " Don Quixote." It was to have comprised three parts, but 
 only the first one was ever completed. The second, when 
 nearly finished, was partially burnt by Gogol, the portion of it 
 which escaped destruction being published after his death. 
 When the first part was issued at Moscow, in 1842, cries of 
 mingled" stupefaction and indignation were raised throughout 
 empire. "What! was that Russia?" people asked. "A 
 band of rascals and idiots, without exception ! " And thereupon 
 the author was denounced on all sides as a renegade and a 
 defamer. /'.He was told that, desj)ite serfdom and official 
 venality, there were still some brave hearts and honest folks 
 in the empire. He then realised that he had struck too hard 
 
 y \ the
 
 NIKOLAI V. GOGOL. IX 
 
 a blow, and he -wrote numerous explanatory letters, begging his 
 readers to wait for the second part of his book, for the coming 
 contrast of light with darkness. But time passed by, and. this 
 second part did not appear. Gogol's pen, so ready in de- 
 nouncing hypocrisy and exposing venality, seemed unwilling, 
 as it were, to trace a brighter picture of humanity. 
 
 At last, in 1846, he returned to Russia, broken down in health 
 and scarcely able to work. While he desperately endeavoured 
 to complete "Dead Souls," some crisis of hypochondria mastered 
 him every now and then, and upon one such occasion he destroyed 
 all his books and a portion of his manuscript. Then he turned 
 his mind to religion. He wished to go upon a pilgrimage to the 
 Holy Land, he said; and, to procure the necessary funds 
 and obtain the prayers of his readers, he issued a series of 
 " Letters to Friends," which caused a perfect scandal on account 
 of the religious and social views which he expressed in them. 
 It was declared that he had lapsed into mysticism, but in point 
 of fact his views were rather those of a^ansenis^t. ' However, 
 he made his pilgrimage to Jerusalem, and upon his-4-eturn onco 
 more to Russia, as he was without any home or means, he received 
 the hospitality of various friends. Like a true Cossack, he could 
 never linger for long in one spot, but went about from house to 
 house, carrying with him a little bag full of newspapers, reviews, 
 and pamphlets, in which he had been harshly dealt with. 
 
 A person who saw him at this period of his life described 
 him to the Viscount de Yogiie as a little man with short legs, 
 walking sideways, awkward and ill-dressed, with a lock of hair 
 falling over his forehead, and a large prominent nose. He was 
 then very uncommunicative, though he would brighten up occa- 
 sionally in the company of children, of whom he Avas always 
 very fond. "With an unprepossessing exterior he combined great 
 timidity, and his biographers assert that he was never in love. 
 The readers of his works will note, moreover, that his feminine 
 characters are invariably insignificant and weakly drawn. He 
 evidently had but a very slight knowledge of women. 
 
 At thirty years of age, after the publication of the first part 
 of "Dead Souls," Gogol's productive faculties were blasted; 
 after that he merely lingered on, as it were, and at forty-three.
 
 X NIKOLAI V. GOGOL. 
 
 on February 21st, 1852, he expired. His death caused but Uttle 
 stir. Imperial favour no longer upheld him; indeed, the governor 
 of Moscow was formally blamed for having followed his coffin to 
 the cemetery, and Ivan Turgenieff, the novelist, was exiled to 
 his estates for having published an article in which he called 
 him a great man. Posterity, however, has ratified that title, 
 though' it is, perhaps, difficult to assign to Gogol any precise place 
 in the literary Pantheon. M. Merimee places him there beside 
 Dean Swift, but the Viscount de Vogue would prefer to find him 
 a niche of honour between Cervantes and Le Sage. Be this as 
 it may, it is at least certain that " Dead Souls," his unfinished 
 masterpiece, has for forty years remained the greatest work of 
 fiction in the Russian language. The incidents of the story are 
 ever fresh in people's minds, and are constantly alluded to in 
 the course of everyday conversation throughout the length and 
 breadth of the Russian empire. Many of GogoVs sallies, too, 
 have become proverbial expressions, and the names of the 
 personages whom he introduced to his compatriots in "Dead 
 Souls " have grown as familiar in their mouths as household 
 words. 
 
 In concluding these prefatory remarks, it should be stated 
 that Gogol having left his work unfinished, the present trans- 
 lator has, for the sake of continuity, borrowed various con- 
 necting passages from M. Charriere's French version of the 
 story, and has also added the sequel to it, written by Dr. 
 Zahartchenko, of Kief. ^
 
 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 THE CAriTAli OF THE GOVERNMENT. 
 
 A S5IALL and quite a pretty britcbka on springs entered the gates 
 of the hostehy in the provincial city of N. N. ; it was of the 
 sort used by retired colonels, staff-captains, landed gentry who 
 own some two hundred souls of peasants, and, in a word, by 
 fill who are called gentlemen of the middle class. In the 
 britcbka sat a gentleman who was neither handsome nor yet 
 very plain in his personal appearance, neither too stout nor too 
 ihin ; it was impossible to say that he was old, nor could he 
 be called very young. His arrival i^roduced no commotion 
 whatever in the town, and was not signalised by anything in 
 particular; though two moujiks who were standing at the door of 
 ti pot-house opposite the inn, made some remarks, which had, 
 however, more reference to the equipage than to the person 
 jseated in it. " Just look," said one of them to the other, 
 " what a wheel that is ! What do you think ? Will that wheel 
 last as far as Moscow, or not ? " — " Oh ! it will hold out," replied 
 the other. " But it won't hold out as far as Kazan, I fancy ? " 
 — "It will not," returned the other. And here the conversa- 
 tion ended. However, as the britcbka drove into the inn-yard, it 
 was met by a young man in white duck trousers very narrow 
 and very short, and a swallow-tailed coat with claims to fashion, 
 beneath which was visible a shirt-front fastened with a Tula 
 jDin, in the shape of a bronze pistok The young man turned 
 round, surveyed the equipage, caught hold of his cap, which 
 the wind was on the point of blowing off, and then went his 
 way. 
 
 When the carriage had entered the courtyard, the gentleman 
 was received by one of the servants of the inn — a 2>olovoi as they
 
 12 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 ars called in Russian hostelries — who was so lively and restless 
 that it was even impossible to see what sort of a face he had. 
 He ran out briskly, napkin in hand, his lanky figure clad in a 
 long cotton surtout, with its waist almost at the nape of his 
 neck, tossed back his hair, and quickly led the gentleman up- 
 stairs along the whole length of a wooden gallery, to show him 
 the chamber sent him by God. The chamber was of the well- 
 known sort, for the inn was also of the familiar species — that 
 is to say, exactly like all taverns in provincial towns, where for 
 two roubles a day, travellers obtain a sleeping-room full of beetles 
 which peep out of every corner like plums, and having a door 
 leading into an adjoining apartment, which door is always blocked 
 up with a chest of drawers. In that room too a neighbour is 
 always lodged, some silent and quiet, but very curious man, 
 who takes an interest in finding out every particular relating to 
 the stranger. The frontage of the hostelry corresponded with 
 its interior : it was very long, and two storeys high ; the lower 
 one was not stuccoed, but preserved the hue of its dark-red 
 bricks, which Avere already of a muddy tint by nature, and 
 had grown still darker through the severe weather of many 
 years ; the upper storey was painted the inevitable yellow. On 
 the lower floor there were shops with horse-collars, ropes, and 
 cracknels, &c., and in the corner shop, or rather at its window, 
 sat a shiten -•'■ seller, with a samovar of red copper, and a face as 
 red as his samovar. At a distance it might have even been 
 supposed that two samovars were standing in the window, had 
 not the man had a beard as black as pitch. 
 '^ ^Vhile the newly-arrived gentleman was inspecting his room, 
 his luggage was brought in ; first of all came a trunk of white 
 leather, somewhat the worse for wear, and showing signs that 
 this was not the first time it had travelled. The ti'unk was 
 brought in by the coachman Selifan, an undersized man in a 
 short tiihq),-\ and the footman Petrushka, a young fellow of 
 thirty, with a rather surly face, a very thick nose and lips, and 
 wearing a plain, somewhat worn surtout, which had evidently 
 come from his master's shoulders. After the trunk came a 
 dressing-case of mahogany with inlaid decorations of veined 
 birChwood, a boot-jack, and a roast chicken wrapped up in blue 
 paper. When all this had been brought in, the coachman Seli- 
 fan betook himself to the stable to see to the horses, and the 
 
 * Shiten is a beverage made of water, honey, and laurel-leaves, or 
 Falvia, and'often drunk in Eussia instead of tea, especially by the poorer 
 classes. 
 
 t A sheepskin coat.
 
 THE CAPITAL OF THE GOVERNMENT. 13 
 
 footman Petrushka began to settle himself in the small ante- 
 room, an extremely dark little hole, whither he had already- 
 contrived to transport his cloak, and with it some of his own 
 peculiar odour, which had been communicated to, and was 
 wafted after, the bag containing the articles pertaining to his 
 toilet. In this tiny den he placed against the wall a narrow, 
 three-legged bedstead, covered it with a small semblance of a 
 mattress as flat as a pancake, and perhaps as greasy, which he 
 had succeeded in procuring from the landlord of the inn. 
 
 While his servants were installing themselves and getting 
 things to rights, the gentleman had betaken himself to the 
 general parlour. Every traveller knows what these common 
 parlours are like : the same walls painted in oil colours, 
 darkened above by pipe -smoke, and covered below with the 
 marks made by the backs of travellers and tradespeople, for 
 merchants come here on market-days in sixes and sevens to 
 drink their customarj' two glasses of tea. There was the usual 
 smoke-begrimed ceiling, the same smoky chandelier with its 
 multitude of pendant glass drops, which leaped and jingled 
 every time the waiter ran across the Avorn oil-cloth, boldly 
 flourishing his tray, upon which stood well-nigh as many tea- 
 cups as there are birds on the seashore. Moreover, there were 
 the usual oil paintings on the walls ; in a word, everything was 
 exactly the same as what is found everywhere, the only differ- 
 ence being that one of the pictures represented a nj^mph with 
 such an enormous bosom as the reader has, in all probability, 
 never beheld. Such freaks of nature, however, occur in various 
 historical pictures, whence, at what time, and by whom brought 
 to us in Russia, is unknown, but sometimes by our grandees 
 and art-lovers, who have purchased them in Italy on the advice 
 of the couriers who conducted them. 
 
 The gentleman threw off his cap and unwound from his neck 
 a raiubow-hued woollen scarf, such as a wife prepares for her 
 husband with her own hands, giving it to him with suitable 
 instructions how to wrap himself up. Who makes these things 
 for bachelors no one can tell. God knows ! For myself, 
 although a celibatarian, I have never worn such a scarf. Hav- 
 ing unwound his scarf, the gentleman ordered dinner. While 
 they served him with the various dishes usual at an inn, such 
 as ca'bbage soup with tarts, purposely kept for several weeks, 
 calf's brains with peas, small sausages with cabbage, roast 
 capon, pickled cucumbers, and the eternal sweet puff-paste tarts 
 which are always ready at one's service — while he A'^as being 
 served with all these either warm or cold, he made the waiter
 
 It DEAD SOULS. 
 
 tell him all sorts of nonsense about -who had formerly kept the 
 inn, and who kept it now, whether there was much profit 
 derived from it, and whether the landlord was a great rogue, 
 to which the waiter answered according to custom, " Oh, a very- 
 great one, sir ! a perfect rascal ! " For there are a great many 
 people nowadays in civilized Russia Avho cannot eat a mouthful 
 in a tavern without talking to the servant, and even sometimes 
 jesting in an amusing way at his expense. 
 
 However, the new arrival's questions were not all foolish 
 ones. He inquired with great minuteness who was the gover- 
 nor of the town, who was president of the court, who was pro- 
 curator ; in short, .he did not omit a single individual of impor- 
 tance ; but he interrogated him with still greater minuteness 
 concerning all the prominent landowners : how many^^souls^_ 
 (a^rfe) such a one had, how far he lived from town, what his 
 character was, even, and how often he came into the city ; he 
 inquired, too, attentively concerning the condition of that 
 region — were there no diseases in the government, epidemic 
 complaints, deadly fevers, small-pox, and the like ; and he put 
 other questions of the same sort, and in a manner which gave 
 proof of something more than mere curiosity. There was 
 something respectable about the gentleman's manners, and he 
 blew his nose very loudly. It is impossible to say how he 
 managed it, but his nose resounded like a trumpet. This won him 
 much respect from the servant, who every time he heard the 
 noise shook back his hair, straightened himself up into a more 
 respectful attitude, and then bending down his head from his full 
 height, inquired, "Is there anything you would like, sir?" 
 After dinner the gentleman sipped a small cup of coffee, and 
 seated himself on the sofa, placing behind his back the cushion, 
 which in Russian taverns is stuffed with something very much 
 resembling bricks and pebbles instead of wool. 
 
 Then he began to yawn, and ordered them to show him to 
 his room, where he lay down and slept for two hours. Having 
 rested himself, he wrote upon a scrap of paper, at the request 
 of the servant, his title. Christian name, and surname, so that they 
 might be communicated to the police, according to regulation. 
 The waiter, as he descended the stairs, spelt out on the bit of 
 paper the following words: "Collegiate Councillor^ Pavel 
 Ivanovitch Tchitchikoff, landed proprietor, travelling on~his 
 own private business." 
 
 While the waiter was still engaged in deciphering this, letter 
 by letter, Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikoff set out to take a look 
 at the town, which seemed to be satisfactory, for he found that
 
 THE CAPITAL OF THE GOVERNMENT. 15 
 
 it was not a whit behind other provincial cities ; the yellow 
 paint on the stone buildings struck the eye forcibly, and the 
 wooden structures were of a modest dark grey. The houses 
 were one and two storeys high, or a storey and a half, includ- 
 ing the inevitable " entresol," which is so very beautiful, in the 
 opinion of provincial architects. In some places, these houses 
 seemed lost in the middle of a street which was as broad as a 
 field, with interminable wooden fences ; in other places they 
 were collected in a cluster ; and here more activity on the part 
 of the people and more life were perceptible. Signboards met 
 the eye, with representations of cracknels and boots, nearly 
 obliterated by the rain; and here and there was a painting of 
 a pair of blue breeches, and the name of some Warsaw tailor. 
 Here, moreover, was a shop full of caps — leather caps with 
 peaks, and military ones ; over there a billiard-table was 
 depicted with two players wearing swallow-tailed coats, such as 
 visitors to the theatres put on when they intend to go behind 
 the scenes after the last act. The players were painted with 
 their cues in position, with their arms somewhat drawn back, 
 and with crooked legs which had just executed a flourish in the 
 air. Beneath all this was written, " Here's the Establishment." 
 Here and there tables stood in the street, bearing nuts, and 
 soap, and gingerbread which looked like soap ; in other places 
 there were eating-houses, with pictures of a fat fish, and a fork 
 thrust into it. Most frequently of all, one noticed darkened 
 figures of the imperial two-headed eagle, nowadays replaced by 
 the laconic inscription, "Drinking-house."'''- The pavement was 
 everywhere in a bad condition. 
 
 The traveller glanced at the city-garden, which was planted 
 with sickly trees, and after catechising the sentry there as to 
 the nearest way of reaching the cathedral, the courts, and the 
 governor's house, in case of need, he went to survey the river, 
 which flowed through the middle of the city. On the way he 
 tore down a theatrical poster from the pillar to which it was 
 attached, in order that he might read it thoroughly on his return 
 home ; stared intently at a rather pretty woman who passed along 
 the sidewalk, followed by a little boy in military livery, with a 
 package in his hand ; and then he went home and to his room, 
 being assisted upstairs by the servant of the inn. After drinking 
 his tea, he seated himself at the table , ordered a light to be brought, 
 pulled the poster out of his pocket, held it near the candle, and 
 began to read it, half shutting his right eye as he did so. The 
 
 * Until recent times, the crown received the revenues of the drinking- 
 houscs, or kahaki ; hence the two-headed eagles.
 
 16 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 poster contained but little of interest : a drama of Kotzebue's was 
 to be performed at the local theatre, Mr. Poplevin playing the 
 part of Rolla, and Miss Zyablova that of Cora. The rest of the 
 characters were of no consequence, nevertheless he read all the 
 names, and even got as far as the prices for the pit, and learnt 
 that the poster was printed at the Government printing-office. 
 He then, it appears, wound up the day with a plateful of cold 
 veal, some sour cabbage-soup, and a sound sleep — a regular 
 hear sleep, as people say in some localities of the vast Russian 
 empire. 
 
 The whole of the following day was devoted to visits. The 
 new-comer set out to call upon all the official hierarchy of the town. 
 He paid his respects to the governor, who, like himself, was 
 neither fat nor lean in person. The governor wore the order of 
 St. Anna '^ dangling from his neck, and was said to be down on the 
 list for a star ; he was a very good-natured man, moreover, and 
 sometimes embroidered on tulle. Then the traveller called upon 
 the vice-governor, the jbrocurator, the president of the court, 
 the chief of police, the farmer of the brandy revenues, the 
 director of the imperial factories — indeed, suffice it to say that 
 he displayed unusual activity in the matter of calls. 
 
 In his conversations with the ruling personages, he contrived 
 to flatter each in a very artful way. He hinted to the governor, 
 as though cursorily, that to visit his government was like enter- 
 ing Paradise. The roads were everywhere like velvet, he said ; 
 and he added that the rulers who appointed wise officers were 
 worthy of the greatest praise. To the chief of police he said 
 something extremely flattering about the watchmen of the town ; 
 and in -the course of conversation with the vice-governor and 
 the president of the court, who were as 3'et only state. council- 
 lors, he twice addressed them as " Your Excellency" f by mis- 
 take, which pleased them greatly. The result of this was that 
 the governor asked him to honour him that same evening with 
 his company at a family party ; the other officials did the same 
 on their part, one asking him to dinner, another to a game 
 of Boston,;]: and a thii'd to drink a cup of tea. 
 
 The stranger appeared to avoid saying much about himself ; 
 
 * The fifth, in rank of the Russian orders; was founded Felj. 14, 1735, 
 by Charles Frederic of Schleswig-Holstein. 
 
 t Tashe prcvoskhoditclstvo. This title is due only to the memhers of the 
 third and fourth classes of the Eussian hierarchj'^. As memhers of the 
 fifth class, the vice-governor and the judge only had a right to the title 
 of Vuisokopoduii, "wellborn." 
 
 j "Boston," a card game vrhich was very popular on the Continent 
 during the first half of the present century.
 
 THE CAPITAL OF THE GOVERNMENT. 17 
 
 but when he did say anything, it consisted of commonplace 
 remarks, uttered with evident discretion. He had gone through 
 a great deal in his time, he said. He had suffered for the sake 
 of Right ; he had many enemies, who even sought his life ; and 
 now, feeling desirous of settling down in peace, he was seeking 
 a place of residence. Having reached that town, he added, he 
 had regarded it as his positive duty to pay his respects to the 
 principal officials. Such was all that people learned regarding 
 this new arrival, who did not fail to make his appearance 
 promptly at the governor's assembly. His preparations for 
 this party occupied him more than two hours, for he paid un- 
 wonted attention to his toilet. 
 
 After a brief after-dinner nap, he had an elaborate wash, 
 changed his linen, and finally donned a cranberry -coloured, 
 swallow-tailed coat. Having dressed in this fashion, he drove 
 in his own carriage along the wide, interminable streets, illumin- 
 ated by the feeble light gleaming here and there from the 
 windows. However, the governor's house was illuminated as 
 though for a ball : there were calashes with lanterns, two sentries 
 at the entrance, and postilions' shouts in the distance ; in short, 
 all that was requisite. Tchitchikoff was almost forced to close 
 his eyes on his entrance into the drawing-room, for the glare of 
 the candles, the lamps, and the ladies' dresses was terrible. 
 Everything was flooded with light. Black dress-coats, moreover, 
 fluttered hither and thither, and Tchitchikoff had not succeeded 
 in looking about him when his arm was seized by the governor, 
 who at once presented him to his wife. The newly-arrived 
 guest thereupon favoured the lady with a compliment — a very 
 polite one for a middle-aged man whose official rank was neither 
 very high nor very low. When the couples of dancers drove 
 everyone against the walls as they came to a stand-still, he put 
 his hands behind his back and looked at them very attentively 
 for a couple of minutes. Many ladies were dressed fashionably 
 and well ; others were clothed with whatever God had sent to 
 that provincial town. The men here, as everywhere else, were 
 of two sorts. Some were slender, and hovered incessantly 
 about the ladies ; a few of them — who were only with difficulty 
 distinguishable from Petersbui'gians — wore tastefully arranged 
 whiskers, or had fine-looking, smoothly shaven faces. 
 
 These seated themselves beside the ladies, talked to them 
 in French, and threw them into confusion exactly as if they 
 were in the capital. The other men consisted of the stout ones, 
 or those who were like the stranger, Tchitchikoff; that is, not 
 go very fat, and yet not thin. These latter looked askance at
 
 18 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 the ladies, and retreated from them, casting sidelong glances 
 about them to discover whether the governor's servants had set 
 out the green tables for whist anywhere. Their faces were full 
 and round, some of them had beards, here and there one of 
 them was pock-marked. These were the prominent officials of 
 the town. 
 
 Alas ! fat men know better how to manage their affairs in 
 this world than thin ones do. The thin ones only serve on 
 special commissions, or are merely in the ranks, and change 
 about here and there ; their existence is too light in some way, 
 too airy, and not to be depended upon. But the stout ones 
 never fill minor positions, they always hold responsible ones ; 
 and if they do settle down anywhere, they do so forcibly and 
 reliably, so that the place itself trembles and threatens to give 
 way beneath them. They are not fond of external glitter; 
 their coats are not so skilfully cut as the thin men's coats ; but, 
 on the other hand, they have plenty of cash in their coffers. 
 
 Tchitchikoflf thought of all this as he surveyed the company, 
 and the result was that he finally joined the stout men, among 
 whom he found nearly all his acquaintances. The procurator, 
 who had very black, thick brows, and a left eye which was 
 rather given to mnking, as much as to say, " Come into the 
 other room, my boy, and I'll tell you something! " He was a 
 serious and reticent man, however. Then there was the post- 
 master, a man of low stature, but a wit and a philosopher ; and 
 the president of the court, a very sensible and amiable man. 
 All these greeted Tchitchikoff as an old friend, whereupon he 
 bowed, somewhat on one side, but not without courtesy. He 
 next made the acquaintance of a very polite and friendly land- 
 owner, Maniloff, and of a rather awkward one, Sobakevitch, 
 who trod on his foot the very first thing, and said, " I beg your 
 pardon ! " 
 
 They all immediately asked him to join them at whist, 
 and he agreed to do so with a very good grace. They seated 
 themselves at a small table and did not rise until supper-time. 
 All conversation entirely ceased, as is proper when people give 
 themselves up to active business. Although the postmaster was 
 very talkative, even he, as soon as he had taken his cards in 
 his hand, thought fit to assume a thoughtful expression and 
 puckered up his lips. He remained thus all the time that the 
 game lasted. Whenever he played a court-card, however, he 
 smote the table heavily with his hand, saying, if it were the 
 queen, " Go along, old popess ! " and if the king, " Away with 
 you, you Tamboff moujik ! " And the president constantly
 
 THE CAPITAL OF THE GOVERNMENT. 19 
 
 exclaimed, " I've got him by the moustache ! " or "I've got her 
 by the moustache ! " Sometimes as the cards fell on the table, 
 exclamations resounded such as, "Ah ! to be, or not to be ; " 
 " There's nothing to be done; " " So there's a diamond ! " and 
 60 on. At the end of the game the players disputed loudly, 
 and the traveller joined in the discussions, but in a pleasant 
 manner. He never shouted " Go on! " but politely remarked, 
 " Will you have the kindness to play ? I have had the honour 
 to cover your ace," and so on. 
 
 Then, in order to propitiate his antagonists, he frequently 
 offered them his silver and enamel snuff-box, at the bottom of 
 which they perceived two violets which had been placed there 
 to scent it. His attention was especially directed to Maniloff 
 and Sobakevitch, the landowners already referred to. He im- 
 mediately made inquiries about them, calling the president and 
 V the postmaster on one side for the purpose. Some of the ques- 
 ' tions he put to them evinced not only his curiosity, but also his 
 solicitude ; for the first thing of all that he asked was, how many 
 serfs each of them had, and in what condition their estates were; 
 and after that he informed himself as to their names and sur- 
 names. In a short time he had succeeded in charming them 
 completely. 
 
 Landowner Maniloff, a middle-aged man who had eyes as 
 sweet as sugar, and screwed them up every time he laughed, was 
 in ecstasies with the traveller. He pressed his hand for a long 
 time, and begged him in the most earnest manner to honour 
 him with a trip to his estate, which, according to his assertions, 
 was only fifteen versts from the city barriers. To this Tchitchi- 
 koff replied, with an extremely courteous inclination of the 
 head, and a hearty squeeze of the hand, that he was not only 
 ready to accept the invitation with great pleasure, but that he 
 should consider it a sacred duty to call upon Maniloff. 
 
 Sobakevitch, too, said rather laconically, " I invite you to my 
 house also," at the same time giving a backward scrape with 
 his left foot, which was shod with a shoe of gigantic size. 
 
 On the following day Tchitchikoff went to dine and spend the 
 evening with the chief of police. They sat down to play at 
 whist at three in the afternoon, and played until two o'clock in 
 the morning. Here he made the acquaintance of a landowner 
 named Nozdreff, a man of thirty, a wide-awake young fellow, 
 who began to address hini as thou after the first three or four 
 words. Nozdreff also called the chief of police and the pro- 
 curator zAow, and behaved in a friendly way ; but when they 
 began to play for high stakes, the chief of police and the pro-
 
 20 DEAD SOULS- 
 
 curator watched, every trick he took with great attention, and 
 followed up almost every card he laid down. Tchitchikoff 
 passed the next evening with the president of the court, who 
 received his guests in a rather greasy dressing-gown ; then he 
 spent an evening with the vice-governor, dined with the farmer 
 of the brandy revenues, attended a small but expensive dinner 
 at the procurator's, and a lunch which was given by the mayor of 
 the town, and which was equivalent to a dinner. In a word, 
 Tchitchikoff was not able to spend a single hour at home, and he 
 only entered the inn to sleep. 
 
 The new-comer understood how to adapt himself to every 
 circumstance, and showed that he was an accomplished man of 
 the world. On whatever subject the converation turned he 
 could always keep it up ; if it was a question of breeding horses, 
 he spoke about breeding horses ; if his companions talked of fine 
 dogs, he made some very practical observations on that subject; 
 if they discussed the investigations undertaken by the imperial 
 courts of justice, he showed that he was not unacquainted with 
 legal affairs ; if a dispute arose over a game at billiards, he was 
 not found wanting in the necessary knowledge ; if philanthropy 
 was the subject under discussion, he entered into it very fully, 
 and tears even came into his eyes ; moreover, he was well 
 posted as to the distillation of brandy when that was mentioned ; 
 and when they talked of the local officials, he passed judgment 
 on them as though he himself were an official. 
 
 It was worthy of note, moreover, that our friend Tchitchikoff 
 knew how to impart his views with a fitting gravity of mien, 
 and bore himself admirably. He spoke neither loudly nor 
 softly, but exactly in the proper key. In short, turn him which 
 ever way you would, he was an estimable man. All the officials 
 were delighted with him. The governor expressed himself to 
 the effect that he was a well-meaning man ; the procurator said 
 that he was a practical man ; the commander of the garrison that 
 he was a learned man ; the chief of police that he was a respect- 
 able and amiable man ; the chiet's wife that he was a most agree- 
 able and well-bred man. Even Sobakevitch himself, who rarely 
 expressed a favourable opinion of anyone, when he returned at 
 H tolerably late hour from town, and, having undressed him- 
 self, lay down in bed beside his gaunt wife, he said to her, " My 
 love, I spent the evening at the governor's, and dined with the. 
 chief of police, and I have made the acquaintance of Collegiate 
 Councillor Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikoff — a very agreeable man 
 he is to." Whereupon his spouse replied " H'm ! " and gave him 
 a push with her foot.
 
 THE MANILOFF FAMILY. 21 
 
 Such was the very flattering opinion •which was formed of 
 Tchitchikoff in the town ; and it was maintained until he 
 adopted a very singular course of conduct which threw the 
 entire locality into a state of amazement. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 THE MANILOFF FAMILY. 
 
 The strange gentleman had been living in the town for more 
 than a week, going about to evening parties, dinners, and hav- 
 ing a very good time of it as people say, when he decided to 
 pay certain visits out of town ; for instance, to go and see the 
 landowners Manilofi" and Sobakevitch, as he had promised. 
 Selifan, his coachman, was ordered to harness the horses to the 
 well-known britchka early in the morning, while Petrushka was 
 ordered to stay at home, and look after the room and the trunk. 
 The reader already knows that Petrushka wore a rather loose, 
 light-brown surtout, which had belonged to his master, and 
 that, according to the custom with people of his class, he had a 
 very thick nose and thick lips. In character he was reserved, not 
 talkative, and he was even possessed of a noble desire for cul- 
 ture — that is to say, he delighted in reading books. The cha- 
 racter of these books was a secondary matter ; it was all the 
 same to him whether the work recounted the adventures of a 
 love-enslaved hero, whether it was an A B C book, or a breviary ; 
 he read everything with equal attention. If any one had oflfered 
 him a volume of chemistry he would not have refused it. It 
 was not so much what he read, as the process of reading, that 
 pleased him. He enjoyed the surprise of finding that the letters 
 continually formed some word or other, which at times meant 
 the deuce only knows what. His reading was chiefly accom- 
 plished in a recumbent attitude in the ante-room, where he was 
 for ever lying, upon the bedstead and mattress, which became 
 in consequence as flat and as thin as a pancake. In addition to 
 his passion for reading he had two other characteristic traits — 
 he slept without undressing, just as he was, in the same sur- 
 tout ; and he always carried about with him a special atmo- 
 sphere of his own, a peculiar smell, which corresponded, to 
 some extent, with that of a dwelling-room ; so that it sufficed 
 for him merely to install himself somewhere, to take his cloak
 
 22 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 and belongings there, for people to think that the apartment 
 had been inhabited for fully ten years. 
 
 Tchitchikoflf, who was very dainty, and even in some respects 
 capricious, frowned when this atmosphere saluted his sensitive 
 nose in the morning, and shook his head, remarking, " The deuce 
 take it, my good fellow, you are sweating. You ought to have 
 a bath." To this Petrushka made no reply, but immediately 
 busied himself about something, brushed his master's coat, or 
 simply carried some article away. What did he think while he 
 thus remained silent ? Perhaps he said to himself, " You're 
 nice ! Aren't you tired of repeating the same thing forty times 
 in succession ?" God alone knows the truth ; it is difficult to 
 find out what a house-serf does think when his master is reading 
 him a lesson. So this is what may be said of Petrushka in the . 
 first place. 
 
 Tchitchikoff, having given the necessary orders for departure 
 one evening, awoke very early the next morning, washed, 
 wiped himself from head to foot with a damp sponge — which he 
 only did on Sundays, and, indeed that day chanced to be a Sun- 
 day — shaved himself in such a way that his cheeks seemed to 
 be real satin in point of smoothness and polish, donned first his 
 cranberry-coloured swallow-tailed coat, and then his cloak lined 
 with long-haired bearskin, and went down-stairs, supported 
 under the arm by the inn-servant. He seated himself in his 
 britchka, which rolled through the gates of the tavern into the 
 street with a great noise. A pope (priest), who was passing, 
 j removed his hat ; some small boys in dirty blouses extended 
 I their hands, saying, " Give alms to the orphans, master ! " and 
 ( the coachman, perceiving that one of them was hanging on 
 behind the carriage, cracked his whip at him ; whereupon the 
 britchka went jolting over the stones. It was with delight that 
 Tchichikofl* beheld in the distance the striped turnpike-bar, 
 which announced that there would soon be an end to the pave- 
 ment as to all other torture ; and indeed after striking his head 
 a few times with considerable force against the carriage frame 
 he was at length borne out upon the soft soil. No sooner was 
 the town left behind than upon both sides of the road appeared 
 hillocks, fir-woods, plantations of young pines, the charred 
 trunks of old ones, some wild heather, and so on. Our traveller 
 passed villages stretched out in a line, in architecture resembling 
 piles of firewood, the houses being covered with grey roofs, 
 Avith carved wooden ornaments beneath them. Some moujiks 
 in their sheepskin jackets, and yawning as usual, were seated on 
 benches outside the gates. Women with fat faces and closely
 
 THE MANTLOFF FAMILY. 23 
 
 bound bosoms gazed from the upper -windows ; from the lower 
 ones a calf peeped, or else a pig thrust out his snout. In 
 short, the views were the customary ones. Having covered 
 fifteen versts, Tchitchikoff recollected that, according to Mani- 
 loff's account, his estate must be situated somewhere about 
 there; however, the sixteenth-verst stone flew past, and still 
 no village was visible. In fact, had it not been for two moujiks 
 Avho chanced to come along, our hero would hardly have suc- 
 ceeded in reaching his destination. At the query, "Is it far to 
 Zamanilovka village ? " the moujiks removed their caps, and 
 one of them, who was the more sensible of the two, and who 
 wore along beard, replied, "Manilovka, possibly, but not Za- 
 manilovka." 
 
 " Well, then, Manilovka." 
 
 "Manilovka! You must go on a verst farther, and then 
 turn to the right." 
 
 " To the right ? " repeated the coachman. 
 
 " To the right," said the moujik. " That is the road to 
 Manilovka, but there is no Zamanilovka. It is called so,-; — that 
 is, its name is Manilovka ; and there's no Zamanilovka at all. 
 There, right on the hill, you will see a two-floor house built of 
 stone ; that's the owner's house ; that is, the gentleman himself 
 lives there. That's Manilovka for you ; but there's no Zamani- 
 lovka whatever- here, and never has been." 
 
 They drove on in search of Manilovka. After going two versts 
 farther, they came to a turning into a cross-country road ; but 
 they covered two, three, and even four versts apparently, 
 and still no two-floor stone house was visible. Then Tchitchi- 
 koff" recollected, that if a friend invites you to visit him at a vil- 
 lage fifteen versts off, it means that it is certainly situated about 
 thirty versts away. This proved to be the case as regards 
 Manilovka. The seigneurial house stood alone on a height, 
 exposed to every wind which blew : the slope of the hill upon 
 which it was perched was covered with short turf. Upon it, in 
 the English fashion, were scattered two or three clumps of 
 shrubbery — lilac-bushes, and acacias, with five or six birch-trees 
 rearing their fine-leaved, slender crests. Beneath two of them 
 a summer house was visible, with a green cupola, blue wooden 
 columns, and the inscription, " The Temple of Solitary Meditation." 
 Lower down there was a pond, covered with green scum, which 
 is no novelty in the English gardens belonging to the Russian 
 landed gentry. At the foot of the hill and also partly on the 
 declivity itself, some wooden cottages stood out, and our hero 
 for some unknown reason began to count them on the spot, and
 
 24 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 reckoned up over two hundred. Nowhere among them was 
 there a tree or any particle of green stuff : nothing whatever 
 but smooth boards. 
 
 The view was enlivened by two women, who with their 
 dresses picturesquely tucked up, were wading up to their knees 
 in the pond, dragging a torn net, in which one could espy two 
 entangled crabs and a glistening flatfish. These women seemed 
 to be quarrelling, and upbraiding each other about something. 
 Far off on one side a pine-forest stretched monotonously blue. 
 The sky was neither clear nor cloudy, but of a light-gray tint ; 
 and to complete the picture, there was a cock, that prophet of 
 a change of weather, who, although he had been sorely treated 
 by other cocks, on account of certain matters connected with 
 courtship, crowed very loudly, and even flapped his wings, 
 which were as frowsy as old rugs. 
 
 As Tchitchikoff drove into the courtyard, he perceived Mani- 
 loff himself standing under the verandah, in a green shalloon 
 coat, and with his hand pressed to his brow, so as to form a 
 screen for his eyes, with which he was surveying the approaching 
 equipage. As the britchka came near to the verandah, his eyes 
 grew merrier, and his smile became broader and broader. 
 
 " Pavel Ivanovitch! " he exclaimed at length, as Tchitchikoff 
 descended from the britchka. " So you have remembered us 
 at last ! " 
 
 The two friends kissed each other heartily, and Maniloff led 
 his guest indoors. This landowner was a well-favoured man 
 in personal appearance : his features were agreeable, but they in- 
 dicated that he was rather too much permeated with sugar. There 
 was something about his manners and ways indicating that he 
 sought favour and acquaintanceship. He smiled seductively, 
 was of a fair complexion, and had blue eyes. You could not 
 help saying, the first moment you spoke with him, " What a 
 nice agreeable man?" The next moment you would say 
 nothing; but at the third you would remark, "The deuce 
 knows what this fellow is like ! " and you would go off as far 
 away from him as possible ; in fact if you did not retreat, you 
 would feel bored to death. You expected no quick or arrogant 
 word from him, such as you may hear from almost any person if 
 you touch upon a subject he dislikes. Maniloff never displayed 
 a bad temper ; nor had he any hobbies or peculiarities. At 
 home he said very little, and was mostly occupied in thought 
 and meditation : but the subject of his thoughts was probably 
 known to God alone. It is impossible to say that he busied 
 himself with the management of his estate, for he never even
 
 ' THE MANILOFF FAMILY. 26 
 
 went into the fields, and affairs seemed to manage themselves. 
 When the steward said, " It would be as well, sir, to do so and 
 80," — " Yes : it would not be bad," was his customary reply, 
 as he puffed away at his pipe, which had become a habit with 
 him when he served in the army, where he had been considered 
 the most discreet, most delicate, and the most accomplished, of 
 officers. " Yes, it really would not be bad," he repeated. 
 
 When a moujik came to him, and said, as he scratched the 
 back of his head, " Master, pray let me leave my work, allow 
 me to earn something," — " Go," he replied as he smoked his 
 pipe ; and it never even entered his head that the moujik had 
 gone off on a drunken carouse. Sometimes, as he gazed from 
 the verandah at the yard and the pond, he said that it would be 
 as well if an underground passage could be made from the 
 house, or if a stone bridge were built across the pond with 
 booths on each side, where dealers might sit and sell the various 
 small wares required by the peasants. At such times, his eyes 
 became particularly sweet, and his face assumed a most satisfied 
 expression. 
 
 However, all these projects were confined to words alone. 
 Some book or other was always lying in his study, with a mark 
 at the fourteenth page ; a book which he had been reading con- 
 stantly for the last two years. There was forever something 
 lacking in the house : in the drawing-room, there was some 
 very handsome furniture, covered with an elegant silken 
 material, which certainly must have cost a high price ; but on 
 two of the arm-chairs it was missing, and they were simply 
 covered with rugs. For several years, Maniloff had said to his 
 visitors, " Don't sit down on those chairs, they are not ready 
 yet." In one room of the house, too, there was no furniture 
 at all ; though directly after his marriage he had remarked, 
 "My love, we must see about putting some furniture into that 
 room to-morrow, if only for a time." In the evening a very hand- 
 some candlestick of dark bronze, representing the three Graces, 
 and with an elegant mother-of-pearl shade, was placed upon the 
 table, and beside it was set a plain brass candlestick, which was 
 lame, twisted on one side, and all covered with tallow, although 
 neither master, mistress, nor servants perceived it. 
 
 Maniloff and his wife were perfectly satisfied with each other. 
 In spite of the fact that they had been married for more than 
 eight years, each was constantly ofiering the other a bit of apple, 
 or a sugar-plum, or a nut, and saying in a touchingly tender 
 voice, expressive of the most perfect affection, " Open your 
 little mouth, my soul, and I will put this tidbit in." Of course
 
 26 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 the little mouth opened very gracefully on such occasions. 
 Surprises were prepared for 4)irth days, such as a mother-of- 
 pearl case for a toothbrush. And very frequently, as the ] 
 husband and the wife sat on the sofa, the former would suddenly ; 
 abandon his pipe, for some utterly inscrutable cause, and the 
 other her work, if she chanced to have any in her hand at the 
 time, and they would imprint upon each other's Hps such a 
 long and languishing kiss, that a cigarette might have been 
 smoked during the time it lasted. In a word, they were what 
 is called happy. But it may be observed that there are many 
 other occupations in a house besides indulging in prolonged 
 kisses and surprises ; and many different questions might have 
 been put to the Maniloff couple. Why, for instance, did 
 matters go on so stupidly and senselessly in the kitchen ? Why 
 was the storeroom so empty? Why have a thief for house- 
 keeper ? Why were the servants dirty and intoxicated ? Why 
 did they all sleep so unmercifully, or spend their time in playing 
 pranks ? But all these are trivial subjects, for Madame Manilova 
 had been to a boarding school ; and a good education is received 
 in boarding-schools, as is well known. Three principal subjects 
 there constitute the foundation of human virtue, — the French 
 language, which is indispensable to family happiness ; the piano- 
 forte, necessary to afford pleasant moments to a husband ; and 
 lastly, come matters of domestic management, — such as knitting 
 purses, and other sui-prises. 
 
 But let us return to our heroes, who have been standing for 
 several minutes before the drawing-room door, entreating each 
 other to enter first. 
 
 " Pray do not put yourself out so much for me ; I will follow 
 you," said Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " No, Pavel Ivanovitch, no ; you are a guest," said Maniloff, 
 pointing to the door. 
 
 "Pray do not object; I beg that you will enter," rejoined 
 Tchitchikoff. 
 
 "No, excuse me. I will not permit such a pleasant and 
 accomphshed guest to walk behind me." 
 
 " Why accomplished ? Please go in." 
 
 " Well, then, please pass in yourself." 
 
 "But why?" 
 
 " Well, because," said Maniloff, with a pleasant smile. 
 
 Finally the two friends passed through the doorway side by 
 side, crowding each other a little in the process. 
 
 " Allow me to present my wife to you," said Maniloff. " My 
 love, Pavel Ivanovitch."
 
 THE MANILOFF FAMILY. 27 
 
 Then Tcliitchikoff saw a lady, whom he had not yet even 
 noticed, saluting him and Maniloff. She was pretty, and be- 
 comingly dressed. Her loose gown of pale silk suited her well. 
 With one of her small, delicate hands she hastily flung something 
 on the table, and then, clasping a cambric handkerchief with 
 embroidered corners, she rose from the divan on which she was 
 seated. Tchitchikoft' approached to kiss her hand. Mrs. Mani- 
 lova, with rather a strong roll on her r's, declared that he had 
 greatly delighted them by his arrival, and that her husband 
 never let a day pass by without mentioning him. 
 ■ " Yes," added Maniloff, " she has got into the habit of asking 
 me, ' Why does not your friend come ? ' ' Wait, my love,' I 
 say, ' he will come.' And now he has at length favoured us 
 with a visit. Truly, he has afforded us the same pleasure as 
 one feels in May, on the anniversary of the heart." 
 
 Tchitchikoff" became a little embarrassed when he heard that 
 affairs had already got as far as the anniversary of the heart, 
 and he modestly replied that he possessed neither a great name 
 nor any distinguished rank. 
 
 " You have everything," broke in Maniloff with the same 
 pleasant smile ; " you have all that, and even more." 
 
 "How did our town strike you?" added Mrs. Manilova. 
 " Did you pass the time pleasantly there ? " 
 ' " It is a very fine town, a very beautiful town," replied 
 Tchitchikoff", " and I spent the time most agreeably; the society 
 there is very friendly." 
 
 " And how did you like onr governor ? " asked Mrs. Manilova. 
 
 "He is a very dignified and amiable person, is he not?" 
 added Maniloff. 
 
 " Quite true," said Tchitchikoff'; " a most worthy man. 
 And how he enters into his duties I how well he understands 
 them ! It would be well if there were a few more such men." 
 
 " Yes, how well he understands the way to receive people, 
 and behave discreetly and courteously ! " chimed in Maniloff, 
 with a smile, and almost closing his eyes with pleasure, like a 
 cat whom one is tickling gently behind the ears with one's 
 finger. 
 
 " He is a very sociable and agreeable man," continued Tchit- 
 chikoff; " and what an artist ! I should never even have imagined 
 such a thing ! How well he embroiders ! He gave me a purse 
 of his workmanship ; even a lady who can embroider so taste- 
 fully is seldom seen." 
 
 " And the vice-governor — what a nice man he is, is he not?" 
 said Maniloff, again drawing his eyelids down a little.
 
 23 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " A very, very worthy man," replied Tcbitchikoff. 
 
 " Well, and pray how did the chief of police impress you ? 
 He is a very agreeable man, is he not ?" 
 
 " Extremely agreeable ; and what a sensible, well-read man ! 
 We played whist with him, and the procurator, and the presi- 
 dent of the court, until the cocks crowed. A very, very worthy 
 man." 
 
 "Well, and what is your opinion of the chief- of-police's 
 wife?" added Mrs. Manilova. "She is a very charming 
 woman, is she not?" 
 
 " Oh, she is one of the most estimable women I know,'- 
 replied Tchitchikoflf. 
 
 After this they dealt with the president of the court and the 
 postmaster; and in this way they spoke of nearly all the 
 officials in the town, who all seemed to be most estimable 
 persons. 
 
 " Do you always live in the country ?" asked Tcbitchikoff, at 
 length putting a question in his turn. 
 
 "Principally in the country," answered Maniloff. " Some- 
 times, however, we go to town for the purpose of meeting cul- 
 tivated people. One gets rusty, you know, if one lives all the 
 time shut up." 
 
 " True, true," said Tcbitchikoff. 
 
 "Of course," continued Maniloff, "it would be a different 
 thing if the neighbourhood were good — if, for instance, there 
 were a man with whom one could in any way discuss amiability, 
 good breeding, or follow up any science which would stir the 
 
 soul, and impart a lofty flight, so to speak, to " Here he 
 
 wished to express something or other, and, perceiving that he 
 had already conveyed some idea of his meaning, he simply 
 waved his hand in the air, and went on. " Then, of course, 
 the country and solitude would possess many charms. But 
 there is absolutely no one hereabouts. Why, one merely reads 
 the ' Son of the Fatherland' now and then." 
 
 Tcbitchikoff perfectly agreed with his entertainer, adding that, 
 in his mind, nothing could be more delightful than to live in 
 solitude, and enjoy the spectacle of nature, and sometimes read 
 some book or other. 
 
 " But then, you know," said Maniloff, " if you have no friend 
 with whom you can share " 
 
 " Oh, that is true, quite true," interrupted Tcbitchikoff, 
 " What are all the treasures in the world under such circum- 
 stances ? * Possess not money, possess good people for asso- 
 ciates,' said a certain wise man."
 
 THE MANTLOFF FAMILY. 29 
 
 " And do you know, Pavel Ivanovitch," said Maniloff, with a 
 look of mingled sweetness and hypocrisy, "with a true friend 
 one experiences something in the nature of spiritual enjoyment ? 
 For instance, when chance afforded me the happiness, the signal 
 happiness, I may say, of talking to you, and of enjoying your 
 charming conversation " 
 
 " Oh, really, now, what charming conversation do you 
 mean 1 I am an insignificant man, and nothing more," replied 
 Tchitchikoflf. 
 
 " Pavel Ivanovitch ! allow me to be frank. I would gladly 
 give the half of all my possessions to acquire even a portion of 
 your merits." 
 
 " On the contrary, I, for my part, should regard it as the 
 greatest — " 
 
 No one knows what this mutual outpouring of sentiment 
 would have led to, if a servant had not announced at that 
 moment that dinner was ready. 
 
 " I beg of you humbly," said Maniloff, " to remain and dine 
 with us. You will excuse us if our dinner is not like what 
 people serve in capital cities ; we simply have cabbage soup, 
 after the Russian fashion, but we ofi"er it with a pure heart. I 
 most respectfully beg of you to join us." 
 
 Then they disputed for a while as to who should go first ; and 
 finally Tchitchikofi" entered the dining-room side by side with 
 them. 
 
 In the dining-room stood two boys, Manilofi"s sons, who were 
 of that age when children are seated at table in high chairs. 
 Beside them stood their tutor, who bowed and smiled politely. 
 Tho hostess seated herself behind the soup tureen ; the guest 
 was placed between the host and hostess, and a servant fastened 
 napkins round the children's necks. 
 
 "What charming children!" said Tchitchikofi", gazing at 
 them. " How old are they ? " 
 
 " The elder is eight ; the other was six only yesterday," said 
 Mrs. Manilova. 
 
 " Themistoclus," said Maniloff", turning to the elder boy, who 
 was trying to free his chin from the napkin which the lackey had 
 tied about it. Tchitchikofi" elevated his eyebrows on hearing 
 this Grecian name, to which Maniloff", for some unknown reason, 
 had given the termination us ; but he immediately tried to 
 restore his countenance to its wonted expression. 
 
 " Tell me, Themistoclus, which is the finest city in 
 France?" 
 
 Here the tutor directed his whole attention upon Themis-
 
 30 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 toclus, and seemed to want to fly at him ; but he became quite 
 composed again, and nodded his head approvingly, when 
 Themistoclus said " Paris." 
 
 " And what is our finest city," asked Maniloff. 
 
 Again the tutor turned his attention upon the boy. 
 
 " Petersburg," replied Themistoclus. ) 
 
 " And still another ? " 
 
 " Moscow," replied Themistoclus. 
 
 "You clever darling," said Tchitchikoff. "But do you 
 know," he continued, instantly turning to Maniloff with a look 
 of some surprise. "But do you know this child possesses great 
 capacity." 
 
 "Oh, you don't know him yet!" replied Maniloff; "he is 
 very clever indeed. Here's the younger one, Alcides, he is not 
 so quick ; but the elder one, if he comes across a beetle, his 
 little eyes begin to dance all at once, and he runs after it and 
 directs his attention to it immediately. I shall put him into the 
 diplomatic service. Themistoclus," he again began, turning to 
 the youngster, " do you want to be an ambassador ? " 
 
 " Yes," replied Themistoclus, chewing away at his bread, and 
 wagging his head from right to left. 
 
 Just at that moment the footman, who stood behind the 
 embryo ambassador, wiped his nose, and it was as well that he 
 did so, for otherwise something unpleasant would have fallen 
 into the soup. 
 
 During dinner the conversation turned upon the pleasures of a 
 quiet life, interspersed with remarks from the hostess about the 
 theatres and the actors in the town. The tutor looked very 
 attentively at the speakers, and as soon as he perceived that 
 they were about to smile, he invariably opened his mouth and 
 laughed heartily. He was probably a grateful person, and 
 wished in this manner to repay the host for his good treatment. 
 Once, however, his countenance assumed a gloomy expression, 
 and he struck the table sternly, fixing his eyes upon the children, 
 who sat opposite him. This happened when Themistoclus bit 
 Alcides's ear, and when Alcides, with his eyes puckered up, and 
 mouth wide open, seemed about to sob in the most pitiful 
 manner. However, realising that he might be deprived of some 
 dish by way of punishment, he brought his mouth back to its 
 former position, and with tears in his eyes began to gnaw a 
 mutton bone, which caused both his cheeks to shine with grease. 
 
 The hostess turned to Tchitchikoff very frequently, saying, 
 " You are not eating anything ; you have taken very little." 
 
 To which Tchitchikoff each time replied, "I am greatly
 
 THE MANILOFF FAMILY. 31 
 
 obliged ; I am full. Agreeable conversation is better than any 
 dish whatever." 
 
 Finally, they all rose from the table. Maniloff was extremely 
 well-pleased ; and supporting his friend's back with his hand, 
 be was on the point of conducting him to the drawing-room, 
 when suddenly Tchitchikoff announced, with a very important 
 look, that he desired to speak with him on a momentous subject. 
 
 " In that case, permit me to invite you into my study," said 
 Maniloff ; and he led him into a small room where the windows 
 looked out upon the blue forest. " This is my little nook," he 
 added. 
 
 " A pleasant httle room," remarked Tchitchikoff, casting his 
 eyes about it. The room was really not unpleasant ; the walls 
 were painted a greyish-blue colour. There were four chairs, 
 one arm-chair, a table upon which lay the little book with the 
 marker of which of which we have already had occasion to 
 speak, and some papers covered with writing. However, there 
 was more tobacco than anything else. It was in various forms 
 — in paper packages, in boxes, and even piled in a heap on the 
 table. On the sills of both windows, various piles of ashes, 
 shaken out of pipes, w^ere arranged with some attempt at an 
 ornamental disposition. It was evident that this occasionally 
 afforded Maniloff a means of whihng his time away. 
 
 " Permit me to request you to place yourself in this arm- 
 chair," said he. " You will be more comfortable here." 
 
 " No ; allow me to sit upon an ordinary chair." 
 
 "That cannot be allowed, if you please," resumed Maniloff 
 with a smUe. " My armchau- is expressly assigned to guests; 
 whether j'ou like it or not, you must sit in it." 
 
 Tchitchikoff' sat down. 
 
 " Permit me to offer you a pipe," said his host. 
 
 " No ; I do not smoke," replied Tchitchikoff' pohtely, and 
 with a certain air of regret. 
 
 "Why?" asked Maniloff also politely, and with an air of 
 regret. 
 
 "I have never acquired the habit of smoking; a pipe is said 
 to dry one up." 
 
 " Pennit me to remark that that is prejudice. I even hold 
 
 that smoking a pipe is much more healthy than taking snuff'. 
 
 i There was a lieutenant in our regiment, a very handsome and 
 
 ! cultivated man, who never took his pipe out of his mouth, not 
 
 I even when he was at table or anywhere else, if I may say so. 
 
 And now he is over forty ; and, thank God, up to the present 
 
 time he is so well that he could not possibly be better."
 
 32 DEAD SOULS. ^ 
 
 Tchitchikoff remarked that that really did happen at times, 
 and that there were many things in nature which could not be 
 explained by even the most far-seeing minds. 
 
 " But permit me now to ask one question," he began in a 
 tone in which there was a strange, or almost a strange, expres- 
 sion, and then he glanced behind him, it is impossible to say 
 why. Maniloff also glanced behind him for some inexplicable 
 reason. " How long is it," resumed Tchitchikoff, " since you 
 condescended to hand in your census list ? " 
 
 " Why, a long while, or rather, I don't recollect." 
 
 " So that many of your serfs have died since ? " 
 
 "I cannot say. I suppose it will be necessary to ask the 
 overseer about that. Hey, there, you fellow ! Call the over- 
 seer ; he should be here to-day." 
 
 The overseer made his appearance. He was a man of about 
 forty, who shaved his beard, wore a surtout, and apparently 
 led a very tranquil life, for there was a certain look of puffy 
 fulness in his face and a yellowish hue about his skin ; more- 
 over, his small, sleepy eyes showed that he knew very well 
 indeed what down-pillows and feather-beds were. 
 
 "Listen, my good fellow," said Maniloff. "How many of 
 our serfs have died since the census was taken ? " 
 
 "Yes, well — how many? Why, many have died since 
 then," said the overseer ; and thereupon he gave a yawn, cover- 
 ing his mouth slightly with his hand as with a shield. 
 
 "Yes; I will confess that I thought so myself," interposed 
 Maniloff; " that's it, a good many have died." Here he turned 
 to Tchitchikoff and added, " Exactly so, a great many." 
 
 " And what might the number be, for instance ? " asked 
 Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " Yes, what number ? " interposed Maniloff. 
 
 " Well, I might say, what is the number ? " rejoined the 
 overseer. "Why, really I don't know how many have died; 
 nobody has counted them." 
 
 " Yes, exactly," said Maniloff, turning to Tchitchikoff. " I 
 also supposed that the mortality had been large ; but I don't 
 know in the least how many have died." 
 
 "Please to count them," said Tchitchikoff, "and make a 
 minute register of them by name." 
 
 "Yes, all byname," said Maniloff, whereupon the overseer 
 rejoined, "Yes, sir," and departed. 
 
 " And why do you want this done ? " inquired Maniloff when 
 the overseer was gone. 
 
 This question seemed to embarrass his guest ; a certain
 
 THE MANILOFF FAMILY. 33 
 
 strained look appeared on his face and even caused it to redden 
 as he made an effort to express himself. Then Maniloff heard 
 such strange and remarkable things as human ear had never 
 before listened to. 
 
 " You ask the reason ? Well, this is the reason ; I should 
 like to purchase some serfs," began Tchitchikoff, but then he 
 stammered and did not finish his sentence. 
 
 " But allow me to ask you," said Maniloff, " how you desire 
 to purchase these serfs — with the land, or simply for removal 
 elsewhere; that is to say, without land ? " 
 
 "Well, I don't exactly mean serfs," said Tchitchikoff, "I 
 want dead ones." 
 
 "What? Excuse me, I am a little hard of hearing ; I 
 thought I heard a very singular word." 
 
 " My desire is to obtain dead serfs, who are, however, indi- 
 cated as alive in the census list," said Tchitchikoff. 
 
 Maniloff instantly dropped his tchibouk on the floor, and, 
 opening his mouth, remained gaping for several minutes. These 
 two friends who had discoursed so sweetly on the charms of a 
 life of friendship, remained motionless, with their eyes fixed on 
 each other like those portraits which were hung in olden times 
 opposite one another. At length Maniloff" picked up his tchi- 
 bouk and gazed into Tchitchikoff 's face, endeavouring to see 
 whether there was any sign of a smile upon his lips, in fact, 
 whether he was jesting ; but nothing of the sort was perceptible ; 
 on the contrary, his face seemed even graver than usual. Then 
 Maniloft' wondered whether his guest had not unconsciously 
 lost his mind, and he gazed intently at him in terror: but our 
 hero's eyes were perfectly clear ; there was no wild, restless 
 fire in them, such as leaps from the eyes of a madman ; all was 
 quiet in his demeanour and as it should be. Think as he would 
 as to what he ought to do or say, Maniloff' could not devise 
 any other course than to emit the smoke which had remained 
 in his mouth. 
 
 " Yes, I should like to know," resumed Tchitchikoff, 
 " whether you can let me have any such persons, not alive in 
 reality, but alive so far as legal forms are concerned. Make 
 them over to me, or manage it in any way you think best." 
 
 However, Maniloff became so confused and troubled that al 
 he could do was to stare at him. 
 
 "It seems to me that you see some difficulties ? " observed 
 Tchitchikoff'. 
 
 " I ? no, not that," said Maniloff, " but I cannot conceive — 
 excuse me — in fact, I was not able to obtain so brilliant an 
 
 C
 
 34 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 education as is visible, so to speak, in your every movement. I 
 do not possess the lofty art of expressing myself, and possibly, 
 iu the statement w^hich you have just made, something else 
 is concealed — possibly you were pleased to express yourself in 
 that way for the sake of beauty of style ?" 
 
 " No," responded Tchitchikoff, " no : I meant just what I said ; 
 that is to say, souls (serfs) which are actually already dead." 
 
 ManilofF was completely bewildered. He felt that he must do 
 something, ask some question, but what question — the deuce 
 only knew. He at last ended by emitting some more smoke, 
 not from his mouth, however, but through his nostrils. 
 
 " So, if there is no obstacle, you might set about preparing a 
 deed of sale," said Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " What ! a deed of the sale of some dead souls ? " 
 
 "Well, no!" said Tchitchikoff. "We will write that they 
 are alive, just as it stands recorded on the census list. I 
 am not accustomed to depart in any way from the laws ; I 
 suffered for that reason in the service — but excuse me : duty is 
 a sacred thing for me ; the law — well, I am dumb in the pre- 
 sence of the law." 
 
 These last words pleased Maniloff. Still he had not penetrated 
 his guest's real meaning ; and, instead of replying, he began to 
 suck away so powerfully at his tchibouk, that it soon groaned 
 like a bassoon. It seemed as though he were trying to extract 
 from it some opinion with regard to so strange a matter ; how- 
 ever, the tchibouk groaned, and that was all. 
 
 " Perhaps you entertain some doubts ? " urged Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " Oh, excuse me, none whatever! But permit me to ask, 
 will not this enterprise, or to express the matter more plainly, 
 as it were, this negotiation, — will not this negotiation be incom- 
 patible with the official regulations ? " 
 
 Here Maniloff made several motions with his head, and looked 
 very significantly in Tchitchikoff''s face ; his countenance having 
 an expression of such deep meaning as was, possibly, never 
 seen upon a human face, except, perhaps, on that of some very 
 wise minister, at the moment of a most head-splitting trans- 
 action. 
 
 However, Tchitchikoff simply said that such an enterprise, or 
 negotiation, would in no way be inconsistent with the laws ; 
 and he added a moment later, that the treasury would even 
 obtain some profit from it, for it would receive the legal taxes. . 
 
 " You think so ? " 
 
 " Yes, I think that it will be a good thing." 
 
 ** Ah ! if it is a good thing, that is another matter : I have no
 
 THE MANILOFF FAMILY. 35 
 
 objection to it then," said Maniloff, and he became perfectly re- 
 assured. 
 
 " It now remains for us to agree about a price." 
 
 " What price ? " said Maniloft' again ; and he paused. " Do 
 you suppose that I am going to take your money for souls who 
 have, in a certain way, terminated their existence ? If such a 
 fantastic idea has occurred to you, you are mistaken. I will give 
 you these souls gratuitously, and take the deed of sale upon 
 myself." 
 
 We must not omit to say that Tchitchikoff expressed great 
 satisfaction upon hearing these words spoken by Maniloff, 
 Albeit usually grave and judicious, he came near executing a 
 leap like a goat, which, as it is well known, men only execute in 
 the most powerful outbursts of joy. He turned so vigorously in 
 his chair, that he split the material with which it was covered. 
 Maniloff stared at him in some amazement. Moved by grati- 
 tude, our hero expressed so much recognition, that his host 
 became confused, turned red all over, made a negative gesture 
 with his head, and finally expressed himself to the effect that it 
 was really "nothing"; that he merely wanted to show his 
 heartfelt affection in some way, for he was a believer in the 
 affinity of souls ; however to his mind the dead ones were in 
 some respects perfect rubbish. 
 
 " They are not rubbish at all," replied Tchitchikoff, pressing 
 his companion's hand and heaving a deep sigh. He seemed to 
 be ready for a sentimental outburst, and it was not without 
 feeling and expression that he at length uttered the following 
 words : "If you only knew what a service you have rendered 
 me by this, which seems to you mere rubbish ; and yet I am a 
 man without kindred or connections 1 Yes ; and, in fact, what 
 have I not endured '? I am like a bark amid fierce billows. 
 Ah ! what oppression, what persecution, have I not undergone, 
 what bitterness have I not tasted, and for what ? Because I 
 held to the Right, because I had a pure conscience, because 
 I lent a helping hand to a helpless widow and wretched 
 orphans — " 
 
 At this point Tchitchikoff oven wiped away his tears with his 
 handkerchief. Maniloff was thoroughly moved. The two 
 friends pressed each other's hands for a long time, and gazed 
 long and silently into each other's eyes, in which the tears 
 were visible. Maniloft" would, on no account, release the hand 
 of our hero, but continued to press it so warmly that his com- 
 panion did not know how to free it. At last, drawing it gently 
 away, he said that it would not be a bad thing to complete the
 
 36 DEAD SOULS* 
 
 deed of sale as promptly as possible, and that it would be as Well 
 if Maniloff would visit him in town ; finally he grasped his hat, 
 and began to take leave. 
 
 " What ! are you going ? " asked Maniloff, suddenly recover- 
 ing himself, and almost in affright. 
 
 At that moment Mrs. Manilova entered the study. 
 
 " Lisanka," said Maniloff, with a rather sorry countenance, 
 •' Pavel Ivanovitch is leaving us." 
 
 " Then, we have bored Pavel Ivanovitch," replied Mrs. 
 Manilova. 
 
 " Madam ! here," exclaimed Tchitchlkoff, " here, just here," 
 — and he laid his hand upon his heart, — " yes, here, will ever 
 linger the charming hours spent with you; and believe me, 
 there could not be for me any greater bliss than to live with 
 you, if not in the same house, at least in the immediate 
 neighbourhood." 
 
 " But, do you know, Pavel Ivanovitch," said Maniloff, who 
 was greatly pleased by such an idea, " it would in fact be grand 
 for us to live here together under one roof, or beneath the shade 
 of some elm-tree, to philosophise over something, to penetrate 
 the depths — " 
 
 " Oh, that would be a heavenly life ! " interrupted Tchitchi- 
 koff, with a sigh. " Farewell, madame ! " he continued, kiss- 
 ing Mrs. Manilova's hand. "Farewell, my most respected 
 friend ! Do not forget my request ! " 
 
 " Oh ! you may be easy on that score," replied Maniloff". " I 
 shall see you in town in a couple of days at the latest." 
 
 They all then went into the dining-room. 
 
 " Good-by, my dear little boys ! " said Tchitchlkoff, catching 
 sight of Alcides and Themistoclus, who were busying themselves 
 over a wooden hussar who had neither any arms nor any nose. 
 *' good-by, my dear little ones. You will excuse me for not 
 having brought you a present, but I must confess that I did not 
 even know of your existence ; however, when I come again, I 
 shall certainly bring one. I will bring you a sword : would you 
 like a sword ? " 
 
 "Yes," answered Themistoclus. 
 
 " And a drum for you. It shall be a drum, shall it not ? " he 
 proceeded, bending down to Alcides. 
 
 " Yes, a dwum," whispered Alcides, and he dropped his head. 
 
 " Very well, I will bring you a drum, such a fine drum ! 
 it will be all turrr-ru-tra, ta ta, ta ta ta. Good-by, you 
 darling, good-by ! " Here he kissed Alcides on the head, and 
 turned to Maniloff and his wife vdth the little laugh with which
 
 THE MANILOFF FAMILY. 37 
 
 one generally does turn to parents, giving them to understand 
 what dear little things their children arc. 
 
 *' Really, you had better stay, Pavel Ivanoviteh," said Mani- 
 lofl', when they were all gathered on the verandah. " Look at 
 the clouds." 
 
 " They are very small, replied Tchitchikoff." 
 
 " Do you know the road to Sobakevitch's '? " 
 
 " Oh ! I wanted to ask you about that." 
 
 " Well, if you will allow me, I will tell your coachman at 
 once." Here Maniloff, with the same afi'ability, gave the coach- 
 man his instructions, even addressing him once by the pronoun 
 " you ''—in lieu of the " thou " usual in speaking to inferiors. 
 
 The coachman, on hearing that he must pass by two turnings, 
 and take the third one, said, " We shall hit it, your excellency ; " 
 and Tchitchikoff drove off, accompanied by the bows and waving 
 kerchiefs of his hosts, who stood Avatching him on tiptoe. 
 
 Maniloff, indeed, stood for a long time on the veranda, follow- 
 ing the retreating britchka with his eyes ; and even when it had 
 become invisible, he still stood there, smoking his pipe. At last 
 he entered the room, seated himself on a chair, and gave himself 
 up to meditation, heartily rejoicing that he had done his visitor 
 a trifling service. Then his thoughts turned imperceptibly to 
 other subjects, and finally they wandered away, God knows 
 where. He thought of the bliss of a life of friendship ; of how 
 delightful it would be to dwell with his friend on the banks of 
 some river ; and so on ; but suddenly Tchitchikoff's strange re- 
 quest disturbed all his dreams. The thought of it seemed to 
 seethe strangely in his brain ; turn it over as he would, he could 
 not explain it to himself; and thus he sat smoking his pipe, and 
 pondering all through the afternoon and evening until supper- 
 time. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 MADAME KOROBOTCHKINA. 
 
 Meanwhile Tchitchikoff, in a very well-satisfied frame of mind, 
 sat in his britchka, which had long been rolling along the high- 
 way. From the preceding chapter, one can gather what consti- 
 tuted the chief subject of his thoughts ; and therefore it is no 
 wonder that he was speedily absorbed in it, body and soul. That
 
 38 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 the conjectures, calculations, and fancies which strayed through 
 his mind were extremely agreeable, was evident from his face ; 
 for at each moment it expanded into a contented smile. He was 
 so engrossed with his thoughts that it required a loud clap of 
 thunder to bring him to himself, and induce him to look about 
 him : the whole sky was now completely covered with clouds, and 
 the dusty post-road was sprinkled with drops of rain. At length 
 a second clap of thunder resounded, both louder and nearer than 
 the first one, and the rain suddenly poured down as though from 
 a pail. At first it came in a slanting direction, and beat upon one 
 side of the britchka, then on the other ; next altering its course, 
 and becoming almost perpendicular, it drummed right upon 
 the top of the carriage, and began to fall on our hero's head. 
 This made him pull down some leathern curtains, which had two 
 small round windows, adapted for the contemplation of views 
 upon the road, and at the same time he ordered Selifan to drive 
 faster. 
 
 The coachman drew from beneath his box some trumpery 
 garment of gray cloth, put it on, grasped the reins firmly, and 
 shouted at his troika,'^- which were hardly moving their legs. 
 However, Selifan could not at first remember whether he had 
 passed two or three turnings. He decided, after due reflec- 
 tion, that there had been a great many, all of which he had 
 passed. As a Russian soon discovers what to do in critical 
 moments, he turned into the first cross-road he next came to, on 
 the right, shouted, *' Hey, there, my respected friends ! " to the 
 horses, and set off at a gallop, without much concern as to where 
 the cross-road would lead him. 
 
 The rain, however, seemed likely to last for a longtime. The 
 dust of the road was quickly converted into mud, and every 
 moment it became more diflftcult for the horses to drag the 
 britchka along. Tchitchikoff had already begun to grow seriously 
 disquieted at not seeing Sobakevitch's village. According to his 
 calculations, they ought to have reached it long ago. He peered 
 out on all sides, but it was now pitch dark. 
 
 " Selifan ! " he said at last, leaning out of the britchka. 
 
 " What is it, master ? " replied Selifan. 
 
 " Look and see if there is a village visible." 
 
 " No, master, there isn't one visible anywhere." And there- 
 upon Selifan, with a flourish of his whip, began, not exactly a 
 song, but something which had no end. Everything entered into 
 it, — all the cries of approbation and encouragement to which 
 
 * A team of three horses.
 
 MADAME KOROBOTCHKINA. 39 
 
 horses are treated throughout Russia, from one end of the land 
 to the other ; adjectives of every description without discrimina- 
 tion — in fact, the first that came to his tongue. And so it went 
 on until, at last, he began to call the poor animals secretaries. 
 
 Meanwhile Tchitchikoff noticed that the britchka was swaying 
 about in all directions, and that he was being badly jolted. This 
 warned him that they had got out of the road, and Avere 
 probably careering through a ploughed field. Selifan seemed 
 to have perceived it himself, but he said not a word. 
 
 "Here, you rascal, what road are you driving on?" cried 
 Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " But what's to be done, master, in such weather ? you can't 
 see your whip before you, it's so dark! " Thus speaking the 
 coachman tipped the britchka, so that Tchitchikoff was obliged 
 to hold on with both hands. It was only then that he per- 
 ceived that Selifan had been drinking. 
 
 '• Hold on, hold on ! you'll upset us ! " he shouted to him. 
 
 "No, master; how could I upset you?" said Selifan. "It 
 isn't good to upset, — I know that myself already : I sha'n't upset 
 at all." Thereupon he began to turn the britchka slightly, tip, 
 tip, until finally he rolled it over on one side. Tchitchikoft' fell 
 full length into the mud. However, Selifan stopped the horses, 
 who would, indeed, have stopped of themselves, for they 
 were greatly fatigued. This unforeseen catastrophe completely 
 amazed the driver. Extricating himself from his box, he 
 planted himself in front of the britchka, set both arms akimbo 
 on his hips, and while his master was floundering about in the 
 mud, and endeavouring to crawl out of it, he said after some 
 reflection, " Well ; so it has tipped over ! '' 
 
 "You're as drunk as a cobbler," retorted Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " No, master, no. Besides, how is it possible for me to be 
 drunk ? I know that it is not a good thing to drink. I had 
 a chat with a friend ; for one may chat with a good fellow, and 
 there's nothing wrong in that ; and we also had something to 
 eat together. A snack (zaMska) is not a disgraceful thing : a 
 fellow may fairly take a bite Avith a nice companion." 
 
 " What did I tell you the last time that you were intoxicated, 
 eh? have you forgotten ? " asked Tchitchikoft'. 
 
 " No, your blcuiorddiue* how could I have forgotten ? I know 
 my business. I know that it is not right to get drunk. But I 
 had a chat with a fine man, for " 
 
 * AVellbom, equivalent to the German " wohlgetoren." There is no 
 exact equivalent in English,
 
 40 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " I'll thrash you ! I'll teach you to chat with a fine man ! " 
 ^,J^~As your clemency pleases," replied Selifan, in complete 
 (^acquiescence: "if you must thrash me, then thrash away. I 
 have no objection to that. And why not beat me, if there is 
 cause for it ? That is according to the master's will. It is 
 necessary for him to beat, for the moujik often becomes un- 
 governable : he must be well looked after. If there is cause 
 for it, then beat away: why not? " 
 
 To this reasoning the master found no answer whatever. But 
 at that moment it seemed as though fate had resolved to be 
 merciful to them. The barking of a dog resounded in the dis- 
 tance, and Tchitchikoff, in delight, ordered the horses to be 
 whipped up. The Russian driver possesses a fine sense of hearing 
 in lieu of eyes ; hence it happens that although he sometimes 
 drives along at full speed, with his eyes screwed up, he always 
 comes out somewhere. Selifan, without being able to see his 
 hand before him, drove so directly to the village that he only 
 drew up when the britchka stopped short with its shaft against 
 a fence, and when it could actually go no farther. Through the 
 thick veil of pouring rain, Tchitchikofi" could merely perceive 
 something resembling a roof. He despatched Selifan to find a 
 gate ; and this would have required a long time, no doubt, if in 
 Russia people did not keep ill-tempered dogs in lieu of door- 
 keepers ; and a dog, indeed, now loudly announced the britchka's 
 arrival. A light twinkled through one small window, and 
 reached the fence, revealing the gate to our travellers. Selifan 
 began to knock : and soon a person draped in an arniyak'' 
 opened the wicket, whereupon the master and man heard a 
 hoarse, feminine voice asking, " Who knocks ? what has 
 happened ? " 
 
 " We are travellers, my good woman : let us in to pass the 
 night," said Tchitchikoff 
 
 " You're lively travellers ! " rejoined the old woman : "nice 
 weather you have come in ! This isn't a post-house : a land- 
 owner lives here." 
 
 " But what is to be done, my good woman ? We have lost 
 our way. We cannot pass the night on the steppe, in such 
 weather as this." 
 
 " Yes : it is dark, and the weather is bad," added SeKfai. 
 
 " Hold your tongue, you blockhead ! " said Tchitchikoflf. 
 
 " Who are you ? " asked the old woman. 
 
 *' A nobleman, mj'^ good woman." 
 
 * A long, full garment, worn by peasants.
 
 MADAME KOROBOTCHKINA. 41 
 
 The word " nobleman " seemed to give the old woman matter 
 for thought. " Wait ! I'll tell the mistress," she ejaculated. 
 
 In a couple of minutes she returned with a lantern in her 
 hand. The gate opened. A faint light flashed from another 
 window. The britchka entered the yard, and came to a stand- 
 still in front of a small house, of which it was difficult to get a 
 good view through the darkness. Only one half of it was illu- 
 minated by the light which shone through the window falling 
 upon a puddle just in front of the building. The rain resounded 
 noisily as it poured on to the wooden roof, whence it ran in a mur- 
 muring stream into the water-butt. Meanwhile the dogs had 
 burst out barking in every possible key and style ; one, throwing 
 back his head, gave a prolonged howl, with as much care as though 
 he had received wages for it ; another followed suit post-haste. 
 Then there rang out, like a post-bell, an inharmonious soprano, no 
 doubt belonging to a young dog ; and, finally, all ended with the 
 growls of an old animal, whose notes reminded one of a contra- 
 basso in a church choir, when the concerto is in full swing. 
 
 However, our drenched and shivering hero thought only of 
 bed. The britchka had not come to a full stop, when he leapt 
 out upon the threshold, tottered, and came near falling. A woman, 
 younger than the first one, but strongly resembling her, then 
 emerged from under the porch and conducted him into a room. 
 Tchitchikoff cast a couple of fleeting glances about him : the 
 room was hung with antique, striped paper ; the pictures repre- 
 sented various birds ; between the windows hung some little old 
 mirrors, with dim frames in the form of twisted leaves, and 
 behind each mirror was tucked either a letter or a pack of cards, 
 or else a stocking. There was also a wall-clock, with flowers 
 painted on the dial-plate ; but nothing else could be discerned. 
 Tchitchikofi" felt that his eyes were sticking together, as though 
 some one had smeared them over with honey. However, a 
 moment later the mistress of the house entered, a woman ad- 
 vanced in years, in some sort of a nightcap hastily donned, and 
 with a flannel Avrapper round her neck. Evidently one of those 
 women who own a small landed property, and cry over bad 
 crops and losses, who hold their heads on one side, and accumu- 
 late money in motley little bags, stowed away in their chests of 
 drawers. In one bag they Avill put all their silver roubles ; in 
 another, their half-roubles ; in a third, their twenty-five copeck 
 pieces, — although, to all appearance, there is nothing in the 
 drawers but linen, night-dresses, skeins of thread, and a cloak 
 which has been ripped up with the intention of converting it 
 into a gown ; or, if it be old, it has been burnt in cooking holiday
 
 42 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 pancakes, or has simply worn out of its own accord. However, 
 the old woman is economical, and this cloak is destined to lie 
 there for many years, and will descend by will to her grand- 
 niece, together with all sorts of other ancient fripperies. 
 
 Tchitchikoff presented his apologies for having disturbed the 
 inmates of the house by his unexpected arrival. "No matter, 
 no matter," said his hostess. " In such weather, it was God 
 who brought you here. Such a tumult and storm ! You ought 
 to have something to eat after your journey ; but it is very late 
 at night, and it is impossible to prepare anything." 
 
 The lady's words were interrupted by a dreadful hissing, which 
 alarmed our friend ; the noise was such, indeed, that the whole 
 room seemed to be full of snakes : but on glancing up, he felt 
 re-assured, for he perceived that the wall-clock had taken a fancy 
 to strike. The hissing was immediately followed by a hoarse 
 rattle ; and finally, collecting all its powers, the clock struck 
 two with a sound as though some one were drumming on a broken 
 crock with a stick, after which the pendulum went on ticking 
 quietly from right to left. 
 
 Tchitchikoff thanked his hostess, saying that he needed nothing, 
 that she must not trouble herself about anything, that he only 
 desired a bed, though he would like to know where he Avas, 
 and whether the house was far from Sobakevitch's estate. To 
 which the old woman replied that she had never even heard of 
 such a name, and believed that there was no such gentleman 
 at all. 
 
 " But at least, you know Maniloff ? " said Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " And who is Maniloff? " 
 
 " A landowner, my good woman." 
 
 " No, I have never heard of him : there is no such landowner 
 hereabouts. 
 
 " What landowners are there then ? " 
 
 "Bobroff, Svinin, Kanapatieff, Kharpakin, Trepakin, Plye- 
 shakoff." 
 
 " Are they rich men ? " 
 
 " No, father, not very rich. One of them owns twenty souls 
 (serfs), another thirty ; but there isn't one who owns a hun- 
 dred." 
 
 Tchitchikoff perceived that he had arrived in a regular wilder- 
 ness. " Tell me, at least, is it far to the town ? " 
 
 " About sixty versts. How sorry I am that I have nothing to 
 offer you to eat ! But will you drink some tea, friend ? " 
 
 " Thank you, my good woman. I only want a bed." 
 
 "In truth, rest is necessary after such a journey. Place
 
 MADAME KOROBOTCHKITS^A. 43 
 
 yourself here, my friend, on this divan. Hey, there, Fetinya, 
 fetch a feather-bed, some pillows, and a coverlet. What weather 
 God has sent us ! such thunder ! My light has been burning 
 all night before the holy pictures. Why! my father, your back ^^ 
 and your side are all muddy, like a boar's ! Where did you get q 
 
 60 dirty? " H 
 
 " Glory be to God, that I only soiled my clothes ! I must ^ 
 
 return thanks for not having broken my ribs." U 
 
 " Ye saints, how dreadful ! Don't you want something to ~ 
 
 wipe your coat ? " '5^*^ b 
 
 *' Thank you, thank you. Don't trouble yourself, but please 
 give your maid orders to dry my clothes." 
 
 " Do you hear, Fetinya ? " said the lady, turning to the 
 same woman, who had come out to the porch with a light. She 
 had already succeeded in dragging in a feather-bed, and, after 
 beating it up on both sides with her hands, she had sent a flood 
 of feathers flying about the room. " Take the gentleman's caf- 
 tan and his other clothes," resumed the lady, "first dry them 
 before the fire, as you used to do for your dead master, and 
 then brush and beat them thoroughly." 
 
 " I hear, sudariiuja I " * said Fetinya, as she spread a sheet 
 over the feather-bed and placed the pillows. 
 
 "Well, now your bed is ready," said the lady. "Farewell, 
 my friend : I wish you a good-night. Do you need anything 
 more ? Perhaps, father, you are accustomed to have someone 
 to tickle your heels at night. My late husband could never get 
 to sleep without it." 
 
 But the guest declined to have his heels' tickled. The lady 
 took her departure ; and Tchitchikofi' immediately undressed, 
 giving every thing to Fetinya, who, after wishing him good- 
 night in her turn, carried all the wet garments awa5\ When he 
 was left alone he glanced, not without satisfaction, at his couch, 
 which reached almost to the ceiling. Fetinya was evidently 
 an adept in the art of beating up a feather-bed. Then with the 
 aid of a chair, he climbed into the bed, which so gave way 
 beneath him that he sank almost to the floor, while the feathers 
 which he pressed out at the seams flew all over the room. He 
 blew out the candle, drew the calico coverlet over him, and at 
 once fell asleep. 
 
 It was already quite late in the morning when he awoke on 
 the following day. The sun was shining through the shutters 
 straight into his eyes, and the flies were buzzing about. Cast- 
 
 ♦ Madam. The ordinary answer, corresponding to " Yes, madam."
 
 44 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 ing a glance round the room he perceived that birds did not 
 form the subjects of all the pictures : among them hung a por- 
 trait of Kutusoff, and an oil-painting of an old man in a uniform 
 such as was worn under Pavel Petrovitch. The clock again hissed, 
 and then struck ten : a feminine face peeped in at the door, and 
 immediately disappeared again ; for TchitchikofF, during his 
 sleep, had thrown off all the bedclothes. The face which had 
 peeped in seemed familiar to him in some way. He endea- 
 voured to recall who it belonged to, and finally remembered that 
 it was the countenance of his hostess. He put on his shirt : 
 his garments, all dried and brushed, lay beside him. When he 
 was dressed he approached the window, and began to survey 
 the view before him. The window overlooked a narrow yard 
 which was filled with domestic fowl of every kind. The turkeys . 
 and hens were innumerable ; among them stalked a cock with 
 measured steps, shaking his comb, and turning his head on one 
 side, as though he were listening to something. A sow and her 
 litter were also there, poking their snouts into a heap of rub- 
 bish. The sow devoured a little chicken by the waj^ and then 
 quietly continued to eat some water-melon rind. This small 
 court, or chicken-yard, was surrounded by a fence, beyond which 
 spread some broad vegetable gardens filled with onions, cab- 
 bages, potatoes, beet-roots, and other vegetables. There was 
 also an orchard with apple and other fruit-trees, covered with 
 nets, so as to protect them from magpies and sparrows : the 
 latter were flitting in large parties from place to place. Several 
 scarecrows with arms outstretched were elevated on long poles, 
 and one of them wore the lady's own cap. Beyond the vege- 
 table garden came some peasants' huts, which, although they 
 were built at irregular intervals, and not arranged in street 
 fashion, indicated that there were a number of inhabitants in the 
 place. Tchitchikoff noted that they were all kept in repair as 
 they should be : the worn-out boarding on the roofs had been 
 replaced by new planks ; none of the gates hung awry ; more- 
 over, in certain sheds turned towards him he observed some 
 carts which were almost new. "Yes, her village is of a fair 
 size," he said to himself, and he immediately resolved to become 
 more closely acquainted with the lady. He glanced at the door- 
 way through which she had popped her head, and, catching 
 sight of her seated behind the tea-table, he went up to her with 
 a cheerful engaging mien. 
 
 " Good-morning, my friend. How did you sleep ? " said his 
 hostess, rising from her place. She was better dressed than on 
 the preceding evening, wearing a dark gown, and no longer
 
 MADAME KOROBOTCHKINA. 45 
 
 Sporting a nightcap ; however, a wrapper was still wound about 
 her throat. 
 
 " Well, very well," said Tchitchikoff, seating himself in an 
 arm-chair. " And how did you sleep, my friend ? " 
 
 " Badly, my friend." 
 
 "How so?" 
 
 •' Sleeplessness. My hips ache, and my legs seem as if they 
 would break just above my ankles." 
 
 "It will pass oft', it will pass off, my dear woman. You 
 mustn't pay any attention to it." 
 
 " God grant that it will pass oft'! I have rubbed myself with 
 lard, and with turpentine also. But what will you take with 
 your tea ? There is some fruit-brandy in that flask." 
 
 " That's not bad, my dear woman — not bad at all. I will 
 take some fruit-brandy." 
 
 Tchitchikofi' had made up his mind not to stand on ceremony 
 with this person, so taking his cup of tea in one hand, and 
 pouring some fruit-brandy into it with the other, he resumed as 
 follows : — 
 
 "You have a nice little village, my dear woman. How many 
 souls are there ?" 
 
 "Nearly eighty, my friend," said his hostess: "but un- 
 fortunately the times are bad ; last year the crops were 
 frightful ! May the Lord preserve us from anything of the kind 
 again." 
 
 " But there are some stout-looking moujiks here, and the 
 izbas are sound. Permit me to ask your family name. 1 was 
 BO upset — I arrived so late at night that " 
 
 " My name is Korobotchka. I am the widow of a collegiate 
 secretary." 
 
 " I thank you humbly. And your other name ? " 
 
 " Nastasya Petrovna." 
 
 " Nastasya Petrovna ? That's a fine name, Nastasya Petrovna. 
 I have an aunt, my mother's sister, who is named Nastasya 
 Petrovna." 
 
 "And what is your name ?" inquired the lady. " I think 
 you must certainly be an assessor." 
 
 " No, my dear woman," replied Tchitchikoff", laughing, " I 
 certainly am not an assessor : I am travelling on my own 
 business." 
 
 " Ah ! so you are a wholesale merchant. It really is a pity 
 that I sold my honey to the dealers so cheap ! You would 
 probably have bought it of me, father." 
 
 " No, I should not have bought honey."
 
 46 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " What then ? Hemp, perhaps ? But very little hemp is 
 spun in my house now, — half a pood* at most." 
 
 ** No, Tuy dear woman, I am thinking of a different sort of 
 goods : tell me, have any of your peasants died ? " 
 
 " Ah, yes, my friend, eighteen of them ! " said the old woman 
 with a sigh. "And they were such splendid fellows, all work- 
 men. Some have been born since, it is true ; but what of that ? 
 They are all small fry. And then the assessor comes : ' Pay for 
 your souls,' says he. The people are dead, but until the next 
 census you must still pay taxes on them as though they were 
 living. And last week my smith was burnt to death, — such a 
 clever smith he was ! and he knew the locksmith's business too." 
 
 " Have you had a fire here ? " 
 
 " Oh, no ! God preserve us from such a misfortune ! he burnt 
 himself up, my father. His inside got on fire in some way or other 
 — through drinking too much. Blue flames came out of him, 
 and he rotted and rotted away until he turned as black as coal. 
 And he was such a skilful smith ! At present I cannot drive 
 out : there is no one to shoe the horses." 
 
 "All is according to the will of God, my dear woman," said 
 Tchitchikoff, sighing. " Nothing can be said against the wisdom 
 of God, Will you give them to me, Nastasya Petrovna ? " 
 
 " Give you what, my friend ? " 
 
 " Why, all the souls that have died." 
 
 " But how can I give them away ? " 
 
 " It is simple enough. Or, if you prefer it, you can sell them. 
 I will give you money for them." 
 
 " But how ? I really don't catch your idea. You don't want 
 to dig them up out of the ground, do you ? " 
 
 Tchitchikofi' perceived that the old woman was far from appre- 
 hending his meaning, and that it was indispensable for him to 
 speak to her more plainly. So he explained to her in a few 
 words that the transfer, or purchase, would have no significance 
 except on paper, and that the dead souls would be inscribed as 
 though they were living. 
 
 " But of what use can they be to you ? " said the old woman, 
 staring at him. 
 
 " That is my affair." 
 
 " But they are dead." 
 
 " Who says they are alive ? My buying them is an advan- 
 tage to you, since they are dead. You still have to pay for 
 them, but I will release you from that trouble and taxation. Do 
 
 * Twenty pounds* weight.
 
 MADAME K.OROBOTCHKINA. 47 
 
 you understand ? And I will not only free you from that, but I 
 will give you fifteen roubles to boot. Now is it clear ? " 
 
 " Really, I don't know," exclaimed the lady, pausing. " I 
 have never sold any dead people before." 
 
 " The idea ! It would be far more wonderful if you ever had 
 sold any to any one. Or is it that you think they could be 
 turned to profit ? " 
 
 " No, I do not think that. What profit could be derived from 
 them ? The only thing that troubles me is, that they are dead." 
 
 "Well, she's a hard-headed person," said Tchitchikoff to 
 himself. " Listen, my good woman ! Just think it over well : 
 liere you are raining yourself with paying taxes on them as if 
 they were living." 
 
 " Oh, my friend, don't speak of it!" interrupted the lady. 
 " Only two weeks ago I paid a hundred and fifty roubles, be- 
 sides making a present, to the assessor." 
 
 " Well, you see how it is, my dear woman ? Now, only take 
 into consideration the fact that you won't have to give any more 
 presents, for now I shall pay for the dead serfs, — I, and not 
 you : I assume all responsibilities. I will even have the deed 
 prepared at my expense, — do yeu understand me ?" 
 
 The old woman became thoughtful. She saw that the transac- 
 tion really seemed to be a profitable one for herself, but it was 
 too novel and untried; and so she began to feel very much 
 afraid lest our friend should cheat her in this sale. He was a 
 suspicious character, for he had arrived, God knows whence, 
 and at night time too. 
 
 " Well, my dear woman, shall we strike the bargain ? " asked 
 Tchitchikofi". 
 
 " Really, my friend, I never sold any dead people before. I 
 sold some live ones two years ago, — two girls to the protopopo 
 for a hundred roubles each ; and he was very glad and grate- 
 ful : they turned out splendid workers : they even weave 
 napkins." 
 
 " Well, but the question isn't one of living serfs, — God be 
 with them ! — I ask for dead ones." 
 
 " Really, I am afraid lest it should occasion me a loss in some 
 way. Perhaps you are deceiving me, my father ; perhaps they 
 — they are worth more." 
 
 "Listen, my good woman — what a woman you are! How 
 can they be worth anything ? They are dust. Do you under- 
 stand ? Simply dust. Take any useless, trivial thing, for 
 example, even a simple rag, — and the rag has a value ; it 
 can at least be sold for a paper-mill : but those dead serfs are
 
 48 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 good for nothing. Now, tell me yourself, what are they good 
 for?" 
 
 " That is quite true. They are good for nothing at all, and 
 only one thing deters me, that they are dead." 
 
 "Eh! what a blockhead she is ! " said Tchitchikoff to him- 
 self, beginning to lose his patience. " Come, I must settle it 
 with her! She has thrown me into a perspiration, the con- 
 founded old fool!" Here he drew a handkerchief from his 
 pocket, wiped away the perspiration which had started out on 
 his brow, and resolved to attack the old lady in a different style. 
 " My dear woman," said he, " you either do not wish to under- 
 stand my words, or else you say all that for the mere sake of 
 saying something. I will give you money — fifteen roubles in 
 bank-notes — do you understand ? Money. You cannot pick 
 money up in the street. Now, tell me how much did you sell 
 your honey for?" 
 
 "For twelve roubles a pood." 
 
 " You are surely exaggerating a little, my good woman. You 
 did not sell it for twelve ? " 
 
 " By Heavens, I did." 
 
 " Now, come. So much as that — for honey ? You had been 
 collecting it for a year, perhaps, with a deal of care and labour ; 
 you worried about your bees and their comfort, and kept them 
 all winter in the cellar ; but the dead souls I speak of are not a 
 matter of this world. In their case you have not been put to 
 trouble and toil. It was God's will that they should quit this 
 world, thereby diminishing your property. As regards the 
 honey, you received twelve roubles for your labour and exer- 
 tions ; but as regards the souls you will obtain fifteen roubles 
 gratuitously, so to say ; and not in silver, but in blue bank- 
 notes." After these powerful arguments, Tchitchikoff" hardly 
 entertained a doubt but what the old woman would surrender. 
 
 "Indeed!" she replied. "I am a widow, and so inex- 
 perienced in business ! It will be better for me to wait a little 
 while : perhaps some merchants may come, and I can find out 
 about the prices." 
 
 " It's a shame to talk like that, my dear woman ! it's simply a 
 shame ! Now, just consider what you are saying ! Who will buy 
 those dead serfs ? Come, what use can be made of them ? " 
 
 "Perhaps they may be needed some day on the estate," 
 rejoined the old woman; and without concluding her speech, 
 she opened her mouth, and stared at Tchitchikoff" almost in 
 terror, desirous of knowing what he would reply. 
 
 " Dead men, indeed, about the estate ! " he exclaimed. " Eh I
 
 MADAME KOROBOTCHKINA. 49 
 
 where did you get that idea ? They might be used as scare- 
 crows in your kitchen-garden to frighten away the sparrows. 
 That's what you mean, I suppose, eh ?" 
 
 "May the powers of the cross be with us! what terrible 
 things you say !" began the old woman, crossing herself. 
 
 " What else would you set them doing ? And, moreover, the 
 bones and the graves will all remain with you : the transfer will 
 only be on paper. Now, what do you say to that ? How is it 
 to be '? Give me an answer, at any rate ! " 
 
 The old woman began to reflect again. 
 
 " What are you thinking of, Nastasya Petrovna ?" 
 
 "In truth, I cannot decide what to do : it will be better for 
 me to sell you my hemp." 
 
 " But what should I do with your hemp ? I am talking to you 
 of something entirely different, if you please ; and yet you thrust 
 your hemp on me ! Hemp is hemp, and when I come again, I 
 may take it. But not now. So, how is it to be, Nastasya 
 Petrovna ? ' ' 
 
 " By Heavens ! dead souls are such strange wares, — I never 
 heard the like before." 
 
 Here Tchitchikoff exceeded all the bounds of patience, dashed 
 a chair on to the floor, and consigned the lady to the fiend. 
 
 She was extremely frightened. "Ah! don't mention him. 
 God be with him ! " she exclaimed, turning very pale. " Only 
 two days ago, I dreamed of the Evil One all night. I had a 
 fancy to tell my fortune with cards, after saying my prayers, 
 and God evidently sent him as a punishment. I saw him in 
 such terrible guise ; his horns were longer than a bull's." 
 
 "I am surprised that you don't dream of fiends by the 
 dozen," said our friend. "I made my proposition from motives 
 of Christian philanthropy alone : I see a poor widow struggling 
 along, suffering from want. — Well, go to destruction then, and 
 perish with your whole village ! " 
 
 " Ah ! dear me — why do you try to quan-el ? " said the old 
 woman, looking at him in terror. 
 
 " There's no use in saying a word to you. Truly, now, you 
 are exactly like the house-dog, who lies in the hay, and neither 
 eats the hay himself nor permits anyone else to eat it. I should 
 have liked to purchase various domestic products from you, 
 for I sometimes take government contracts also." 
 
 Here he lied, merely in passing, and without any ultimate ob- 
 ject, but with most unexpected success. The government con- 
 tracts acted powerfully on Nastasya Petrovna: at all events, 
 she said in an almost beseeching voice, " Why has your anger 
 
 D
 
 60 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 become so hot ? If I had known, to begin with, that you were 
 such a testy man, I should not have contradicted you at all." 
 
 '* As if there were no cause for anger! The matter may not 
 be worth an egg, and yet I am angry about it ! " 
 
 " Well, as you please : I am ready to sell the souls for fifteen 
 roubles in bank-notes. Only look here, my father, concerning 
 those contracts : if any rye or buckwheat flour is required, or 
 groats, or meat, please don't forget me." 
 
 " No, my dear woman, I will not," he said ; and at the same 
 time he wiped away the perspiration, which was pouring down 
 his face in three streams. He then questioned her as to whether 
 she had not some confidential friends in the town, or some 
 acquaintance, whom she could authorise to complete the deed of 
 sale, and all that was necessary. 
 
 " Why, the son of the protopope, Father Kirill, serves in the 
 courts," replied Mrs. Korobotchka, whereupon Tchitchikoff 
 asked her to write the protopope's son a confidential letter ; and, 
 in order to prevent any unnecessary obstacles from arising, he 
 even undertook to compose it himself. 
 
 " It would be a good thing," thought Mrs. Korobotchka to 
 herself in the meanwhile, "if he would take my flour and 
 cattle for the government. I must make him a present. There 
 was some batter left over last night : I will go and tell Fetinya 
 to bake some griddle-cakes (hlini). It would be as well, too, to 
 make him a sweet tart with eggs : I have some very fine eggs, 
 and it will only require a short itime." 
 
 The hostess thenleft the room, in order to put her idea into 
 execution with regard to the tart, and probably intending to 
 amplify it with other productions of domestic cooking and 
 baking ; while Tchitchikoff proceeded to the drawing-room, 
 where he had passed the night, in order to get the necessary 
 papers from his dressing-case. Here everything had long since 
 been put in order : the luxurious feather-bed had been carried 
 away and a dressing table stood before the divan. Placing his 
 case upon it, he rested awhile ; for he felt that he was as 
 drenched with perspiration as though he had been in a river. 
 Everything he had on, from his shirt to his stockings, was moist. 
 " Ah, that confounded old woman has worn me out I " he said, 
 after resting a while ; and then he opened his dressing-case. He 
 immediately set to work, drew out some paper, and mending a 
 pen, began to write. At that moment his hostess entered. 
 
 " You have a pretty case there, my friend," said she, seating 
 herself beside him. " You purchased it at Moscow, surely ? " 
 " Yes," replied Tchitchikoff, continuing to write.
 
 MADAME KOROBOTCHKINA. 51 
 
 " I knew it : everything there is of good workmanship. Two 
 years ago my sister brought me some warm shoes for the chil- 
 dren from Moscow, and they are of such good material that the 
 children are still wearing them to this hour. Ah, what a lot of 
 stamped paper you have there ! " she went on, peeping into the 
 dressing-case. In fact, there was a good deal of stamped paper 
 there. " If you would only give me a sheet of it," she added. 
 " I need it so much : if a petition has to be sent to the court, I 
 have nothing to write it on." 
 
 Tchitchikofl' explained to her that the paper was not suited for 
 the~pufpose she indicated : that it was intended for bills of sale 
 and not for petitions. However, at last, in order to quiet her, 
 he gave her several sheets valued at a rouble each. Then having 
 written the letter to the protopope's son, he gave it to her to 
 sign, and asked for a brief list of the dead moujiks. It appeared 
 that she kept no list, but she knew almost all of their names by 
 heart. He made her dictate them to him on the spot. The family- 
 names of some of the peasants, and still more their nicknames, 
 surprised him ; and each time he heard a strange one, he 
 paused and looked up. A certain Petr Savelieff Neuvazhai- 
 Koruito''' struck him especially, and he could not refrain from 
 saying, " That is very long." Another had the term korovuii 
 Jcirpitch\ coupled with his name, and one was simply called 
 Y\'^heel Ivan. When Tchitchikoff had finished writing, he 
 sniffed the air a little, and inhaled the smell of something hot 
 and buttery. 
 
 "I humbly beg of you to taste," said his hostess, whereupon 
 he glanced round, and saw on the table some mushrooms, pat- 
 ties, butter-cakes, pancakes, griddle-cakes, and all sorts of tarts 
 — tarts containing garlic, poppy-seeds, curds, fish, and what not. 
 
 " Here is a sweet pasty with eggs," said the hostess. 
 
 Tchitchikoff' attacked the sweet pasty with eggs, and after 
 eating nearly half of it, he praised it. In fact, the pasty 
 was savoury in itself; and besides, after all his trouble and bar- 
 tering with the old woman, he needed some substantial refresh- 
 ment. 
 
 " Will you have some griddle-cakes ? " asked his hostess. 
 
 In reply, Tchitchikoff" rolled three cakes together, dipped 
 them in some melted butter, put them into his mouth, and then 
 wiped his lips and rubbed his hands on his napkin. 
 
 After repeating this three times, he requested his hostess to 
 order his britchka to be prepared. Nastasya Petrovna imme- 
 
 * Despise-the-Trough. t Cow-brick. 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF H.LINOIS 
 LIBRARY
 
 62 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 diately sent Fetinya with instructions to attend to this, and also 
 to fetch some more hot griddle-cakes at the same time. 
 
 *' Your griddle-cakes are very good, my dear woman," said 
 Tchitchikoff, accepting the hot ones when they arrived. 
 
 " Yes, we do them fairly well here," said the hostess ; " but 
 it's a pity the crops are bad ; the flour is not so good. — But why 
 are you in such a hurry, my friend ? " she added, perceiving 
 that Tchitchikoff had his cap in his band. " The britchka is 
 not harnessed yet." 
 
 "It must be ready, my good woman, it must be ready. My 
 man harnesses the horses quickly." 
 
 " Well, please don't forget about the contracts." 
 
 " I won't forget, I won't forget," said Tchitchikoflf, as ho 
 went into the vestibule. 
 
 " And you won't buy any lard ? " said his hostess, following 
 him. 
 
 " Why not ? I'll buy some, but later on." 
 
 " I shall have some at Christmas." 
 
 " I will buy it, I will buy it : I will buy everything you have, 
 even your lard." 
 
 '•Perhaps you would also like some chicken's feathers. I 
 shall have some also at St. Philip's feast." 
 
 " Very good, very good," said Tchitchitkoff. 
 
 " You see, my father, that your britchka is not yet ready," 
 added his hostess, when they emerged from the porch. 
 
 "It will be ready sure enough. But tell me, how I am to 
 get back to the high road ? " 
 
 " How are you to get to it ? " said his hostess. " Well it is 
 hard to tell you ; there are a number of turns, but I can send 
 a little girl with you to guide you. You probably have room 
 for her to sit on the box ? " 
 
 " Of course." 
 
 " Then, I will send a little girl with you ; she knows the 
 road ; only mind you do not carry her ofl' ! The traders have 
 already carried off one of my girls." 
 
 Tchitchikoff assured her that he would not do so, and Mrs. 
 Korobotchka, regaining her composure, then began to inspect 
 everything in her yard ; she glanced at the housekeeper, who 
 was bringing some honey from the storehouse ; at a moujik, 
 who made his appearance at the gate ; and gradually her mind, 
 . sorely confused by her chat with our hero, reverted to house- 
 . hold matters. 
 
 " Ah ! here is the britchka, here is the britchka ! " exclaimed 
 Tchitchikoff ^at last, catching sight of his approaching vehicle.
 
 MADAME KOROBOTCHKINA. 53 
 
 " What have you been doing so long, you blockhead ? " he 
 added to Selifan. " It is evident you haven't entirely got rid 
 of the fumes of your intoxication." 
 
 To this Selifan made no reply. 
 
 "Farewell, my dear woman!" added our hero. "Now, 
 where is your girl ? " 
 
 " Hey, Pelageya," said the hostess to a little girl of eleven, 
 who was standing near the porch, in a gown of home-made 
 linen stufi", with bare feet, which might have been taken at a 
 distance for boots, so bedaubed they were with fresh mud. 
 "Show this gentleman the road." 
 
 Selifan helped the child to climb on to the box, Tchitchikoff 
 placed his foot on the step after her ; and making the britchka 
 tilt on one side, for he was rather heavy, he finally took his 
 seat, saying, "Ah, now, that's well! Farewell, my good 
 woman ! " Then the horses started off. 
 
 Selifan growled all the way, but, at the same time, he was 
 very attentive to his business, as was generally the case with 
 him when he had been in fault, or intoxicated. The horses 
 were wonderfully spruced up. The collar of one of them, which 
 had hitherto been almost in a tattered state, was now skilfully 
 mended. They went on till they reached a cross road, and 
 here the coachman turned to the little girl seated on the box 
 beside him. Pointing with his whip to the cross road, which 
 was black with the rain, and which ran between fresh, bright, 
 green fields, he asked, " To the right, eh? " 
 
 " No, no : I will show you," rephed the girl. 
 
 "Where now?" asked Selifan, when they had gone some 
 distance farther, and had come to a fresh cross road. 
 
 " It's here," replied the little maid, pointing with her hand. 
 
 " Why, you child ! " said Selifan. " That is to the right, as 
 I said. She doesn't know the right from the left ! " he added. 
 
 Although the day was very fine, the road was so miry that 
 the wheels of the britchka caught up the mud, and soon became 
 covered with it as with a coating of felt, which rendered the 
 equipage considerably heavier. Moreover, the soil was clayey, 
 and unusually adhesive. For these reasons they did not emerge 
 from the bye ways until mid- day. Without the aid of the little 
 girl, it would have been difficult to accomplish even this ; for 
 the roads sprawled out in all directions, and Selifan would have 
 covered a vast expanse of unnecessary ground, without any 
 fault of his own. However, the little girl at last pointed to a 
 black-looking building in the distance, and said, " There is the 
 highway."
 
 54 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 "And that building?" inquired Selifan. 
 
 " That's the tavern," said the child. 
 
 "All right, now we can get along by ourselves," rejoined 
 Selifan: "run home." 
 
 He drew up, and helped her to descend, muttering between 
 his teeth, " What a black-legged creature you are ! " 
 
 TchitchikofF gave her a copper groschen ; and then she ran 
 away home, quite content with her present and especially with 
 having ridden on the carriage-box. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 NOZDEEFF. 
 
 On reaching the inn Tchitchikoff commanded a halt for two 
 reasons : on the one hand, to give the horses an opportunity to 
 rest, and, on the other, to get something to eat for himself. 
 
 The wooden inn, darkened with age, received TchitchikofF 
 beneath its narrow but hospitable verandah, supported on turned 
 wooden columns, which resembled ancient ecclesiastical candle- 
 sticks. The inn was somewhat like an izbd (cabin), but of 
 rather larger dimensions. The carving on the cornice round 
 the windows and door gave it a tolerably artistic appearance, 
 which was heightened by some jugs and flowers painted on 
 the shutters. 
 
 Ascending the narrow wooden staircase which led up-stairs 
 into a spacious vestibule, Tchitchikoff encountered a door which 
 opened with a squeak, and beheld a fat old woman in a motley 
 chintz gown, who addressed him with, " This way, if you 
 please." 
 
 " Do you happen to have a roast sucking-pig ?" Tchitchikofi 
 asked in reply to her greeting. 
 ,, " Yes." 
 
 " With horse-radish and sour cream ? " 
 
 " Yes, with both." 
 
 " Fetch it here, then." 
 
 The old woman went to get it, and brought a' plate, and a 
 napkin which was starched to such a point that it stood on one 
 end like a dry crust ; then she brought a knife with a yellow 
 bone handle and a blade as thin as a penknife, a two-pronged 
 fork, and a salt-cellar which could not be induced to stand 
 straight on the table.
 
 NOZDREFF. 55 
 
 Our hero, according to his custom, immediately entered into 
 conversation with the landlady, and inquired whether she kept 
 the inn herself, or whether there was a landlord, and how much 
 money the inn brought in each year, and whether her sons lived 
 with her, and whether the eldest one was married or unmarried, 
 what sort of a wife he had, whether she had brought him a 
 large dowry or not, and whether the bride's father was satisfied, 
 or whether he had been angry at only receiving only a few presents 
 at the wedding ; in short, he omitted nothing. Of course it is 
 understood that he inquired what landowners there were in the 
 vicinity / and he found out that there were several, named 
 Blokhin, Potchitaefi", Muilnoi, Tcheprakoff, and Sobakevitch. 
 " Ah ! do you know Sobakevitch ? " he asked, and he imme- 
 diately learnt that the old woman knew not only Sobakevitch, 
 but Maniloflf also. She declared, too, that Manilofi" was more 
 exacthifj than Sobakevitch : "He immediately orders a chicken 
 to be boiled, asks for some veal," she said ; " and if there is any 
 roast mutton, he asks for that also — indeed he tries everything ; 
 but Sobakevitch only asks for one thing, eats it all up, and then 
 wantsa second help without extra charge." 
 
 While Tchitchikoff was thus conversing and eating the roast 
 sucking-pig, the rumble of an approaching carriage became audi- 
 ble. Peeping through the window he perceived a light britchka, 
 attached to a troika of three fine horses, halting before the door 
 of the inn. Two men descended from the britchka. One of them 
 was fair-haired and of lofty stature; the other somewhat shorter 
 and of dark complexion. The fair man wore a dark-blue Hun- 
 garian coat, the dark one a simple striped summer JRcket. In 
 the distance an empty calash was coming along, drawn by four 
 long-maned horses with frayed collars and some rope harness. 
 The fair-haired man immediately walked up-stairs, while the 
 dark one remained fumbling for something in the britchka, 
 talking to the servant and pointing to the advancing calash. 
 His voice struck Tchitchikoft" as familiar to him in some way or 
 other. While he was still gazing out of the window the fair- 
 haired man had succeeded in opening the door of the room. He 
 was of lofty stature, with a thin, or what is called a worn face, 
 and a reddish moustache. It might be surmised from his 
 brown cheeks that he knew what smoke was, if not the smoke 
 of powder, at least that from tobacco. He bowed courteously 
 to Tchitchikoflf, and the latter responded in the same way. 
 Then the dark-complexioned man entered, flinging his cap from 
 his head upon the table, and jauntily passing his fingers through 
 his thick black hair. He was a well-built young man of medium
 
 56 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 height, with full red cheeks, teeth as white as snow, and whiskers 
 as Slack as pitch. He looked as fresh as blood and milk ; his 
 face was radiant with health. 
 
 "Bah, bah, bah ! " he exclaimed all at once, flinging both 
 arms about as he caught sight of Tchitchikoflf. " How did you 
 come here ? " 
 
 Tchitchikoff now recognised Nozdreff, the same person in- 
 whose company he had dined at the procurator's, and who, in 
 the course of a very few minutes, had got upon a very intimate 
 footing with him. 
 
 "Where have you been?" resumed Nozdreff; and without 
 awaiting a reply, he went on. " For myself I have been to the 
 fair, my dear fellow. And now congratulate me ! I'm totally 
 ruined ! Would you believe it ? I was never so completely 
 plucked in all my life ! Why, I am travelling with peasants' 
 horses ! Just look out of the window ! " Hereupon he bent 
 Tchitchikoff's head so that it almost came in violent contact 
 with the window sash. " Do you see what wretched beasts 
 they are?" he continued. "It was with difficulty that they 
 dragged me along, the cursed animals ! I had to get into his 
 britchka." So saying, Nozdreff pointed to his comrade. "By 
 the way, j'ou are not already acquainted ? This is my brother- 
 in-law, Mizhueff. We were talking about you this morning. 
 ' See, now,' said I, ' we must fi.nd Tchitchikoff! ' But oh ! my 
 friend, if you only knew how completely ruined I am! Will 
 you believe it ? I not only lost four trotters, but everything 
 else besides ! Why, I haven't either a watch or a chain about 
 me ! " 
 
 Tchitchikoff now looked at Nozdreff, and perceived that he 
 had neither watch nor chain. It even struck him that one of 
 his whiskers was smaller and thinner than the other. 
 
 " If I only had had twenty roubles in my pocket," continued 
 Nozdreff, " only just twenty, I could have won everything 
 back ; that is to say, I could have won that and thirty thou- 
 sand roubles besides, and have immediately put them into this 
 pocket-book, like an honourable man." 
 
 " But that was what you said at the time," replied the fair- 
 haired man ; " and when I gave you fifty roubles, you lost 
 them too." 
 
 "I did not mean to lose them; by heavens, I didn't mean 
 to ! If I had not committed a mistake I should not have lost 
 them. If I hadn't staked three to two on that cursed seven 
 after the king, I might have broken the bank." 
 
 " But you didn't break it," said the fair-haired man.
 
 NOZDREFF. 67 
 
 " I did not break it because I plaj-ed too soon. But do you 
 think that your major plays well ? " 
 
 " "Whether he plays well or not, he outplayed you." 
 
 " Much that amounts to ! " said Nozdreii". " I'll win some 
 cash from him in the same way. Yes, just let him play with 
 me again, then we'll see, we'll see what sort of a player he is. 
 Ah! how jolly we were in town, friend Tchitchikoflf ! Really, 
 the fair was capital. The merchants themselves declared that 
 there never was such a concourse of people. Everything which 
 I had brought up from the country sold at the most favourable 
 prices. Ah, my friend, what a carouse we had ! Even now 
 when I think of it — deuce take it — that is, it is such a pity you 
 were not there. Just imagine, a regiment of dragoons Avas 
 stationed at three versts from the town. Every one of the 
 officers — and there were forty of them — came to town ; and 
 then we began to drink, brother, with the staff cavalry captain, 
 Potzyelueflf, such a splendid fellow he is ! such a moustache he 
 has, brother ! He calls Bordeaux ' burdashki.' ' Bring some 
 burdashki, my good fellow,' says he. Then Lieutenant Kuv- 
 shinnikoff — ah, my friend, what a charming man he is ! And 
 I may say that the carouse was managed according to rule. 
 We were all together, and what wine Ponomareff gave us ! He 
 is a rascal though, and you mustn't purchase anything in his 
 shop : he mixes all sorts of rubbish in his wine — sandal-wood, 
 burnt cork, and he even colours it with elderberry, the villain ; 
 but after all if he brings a little bottle from the cellar which he 
 calls his own sanctum, then truly, my friend, you find yourself 
 in the empyrean. Our champagne was so good that the 
 governor's is nothing to it, simply kvas.*' Fancy, not only 
 real Cliquot, but a special sort of Cliquot — double-distilled 
 Cliquot. And then I got one little bottle of a French wine 
 called ' Bonbon,' with a perfume. Ah ! roses and everything 
 you like. But what a carouse we did have ! After us came 
 some prince or other, and he sent to the shop for champagne ; 
 but no, there wasn't a single bottle left in the whole city, the 
 officers had drunk it all up. Just think, I alone drank seven- 
 teen bottles in the course of the dinner." 
 
 " Come, now, you can't drink seventeen bottles," remarked 
 the fair-haired man. 
 
 " On the word of an honest man, I say that I did drink 
 them," replied Nozdrefl". 
 
 "You can say what you like, but I assert that you cannot 
 drink ten." 
 
 * A Bourish. liquor made from rye-meal and malt.
 
 58 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " Come, will you bet that I can't drink them ? " 
 
 " "What's the use of betting ? " 
 
 "Come, now, wager that gun which you bought in 
 town." 
 
 "No, I won't." 
 
 " Come, wager it, try it." 
 
 " I don't want to try it." 
 
 " Yes, you would be left without a gun as you are left with- 
 out a hat. Ah, friend Tchitchikoflf, how sorry I am that you 
 were not there. I know that you could not have parted from 
 Kuvshinnikofi". How well you would have agreed with each 
 other ! He's not at all like the procurator and all those 
 government misers who tremble over every copeck. He can 
 play at galbik, faro, or anything you wish. Ah, Tchitchikoff ! 
 Now, what would it have cost you to come ? Truly, you 
 are a dirty pig for not coming, a thorough lout. Kiss me, my 
 soul ; death, but I love you ! Look, Mizhueff ! fate has brought 
 us together. Now, what is he to me, or what am I to him? 
 He has come here, God knows whence, and we also have come 
 here. But, I say, how many carriages there were, my friend, 
 at the fair, and all on such a grand scale ! I tried my luck at 
 the wheel of fortune, and won two boxes of pomatum, a porce- 
 lain cup, and a guitar : then I staked once more, and gave the 
 thing a twist, and lost more than six roubles, dash it ! But I 
 say, if you only knew what a wild fellow Kuvshinnikofi" is ! We 
 went to nearly all the balls together. There was such a woman 
 at one of them, with hardly anything on her back. She was 
 nearly naked, and I thought to myself, ' Devil take it ! ' But 
 Kuvshinnikofi" — he's such a brute ! — he just seated himself 
 beside her, and paid her such compliments in French. I assure 
 you, he didn't miss flirting with any of the women. That's 
 what he calls ' making the most of the strawberries.' By the 
 way one dealer at the fair sold such wonderful fish and slices 
 of dried sturgeon. I have brought some with me — lucky I 
 thought of buying them while I still had some money left. 
 But, I say, where are you going now ? " 
 
 " To see a man I have to deal with," said Tchitchikofi". 
 " Oh, dash the man ! let him alone ; come to my house." 
 " Impossible, impossible ! I have some business to transact 
 with him." 
 
 " Well, that's a nice story to invent. Ah, you Opodeldok 
 Ivanovitch, you're deceiving us ! " 
 
 " Eeally, I have some business to attend to, and very impor- 
 tant business too." 
 
 J
 
 NOZDREFF. 69 
 
 " I'll bet that you are lying ! Come, tell me to whose house 
 you are going." 
 
 " Well, then, to Sobakevitch's." 
 
 On hearing this Nozdreff burst into such a resounding laugh 
 as only a fresh, healthy man can give vent to, displaying all 
 his sugar-white teeth, and his cheeks quivering and leaping. 
 A traveller in an adjoining room who was abruptly aroused from 
 his slumbers, stared round, wondering what was happening, 
 and finally ejaculated, 
 
 "Eh, what ! has the house tumbled down? " 
 
 " What is there ridiculous in what I said ?" said Tchitchikoff, 
 somewhat offended by Nozdreff 's laugh. 
 
 But Nozdreff continued laughing at the top of his voice, and 
 even shouted at intervals, " Oh, mercy ! I shall burst." 
 
 " But there's nothing to laugh at. I promised Sobakevitch 
 to go and see him," said Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " You'll be sorry whenj'ou reach his house, he's a downright 
 niggard ! Ah ! I know your character ; you'll be mightily dis- 
 appointed if you think you'll find a faro bank and a good bottle 
 of ' bonbon ' there. Listen, my dear fellow; let Sobakevitch 
 go to the devil, and come with me. What dried sturgeon I'll 
 treat you to ! Ponomareff bowed to me when I bought it and 
 said, ' It's only for you ; you may search through the whole 
 fair, and you won't find any such dried sturgeon.' But he's a 
 frightful scamp, and I said so to his face. ' You,' said I, ' and 
 our brandy farmers are the biggest rascals we have.' The beast 
 laughed, and stroked his beard. Kuvshinnikoff and I break- 
 fasted at his place every day. Ah, my dear fellow, I forgot to 
 tell you. But I've got something which I wouldn't sell for 
 ten thousand roubles. Hey, there, Porfiriy ! " he shouted to 
 his man, who was holding in one hand a knife, and in the other 
 a crust of bread with a bit of sturgeon, which he had succeeded 
 in slicing off" on the sly. "Hey, there, Porfiriy!" shouted 
 Nozdrefi", " bring that puppy here. Such a dog ! " he continued, 
 turning to Tchitchikoff. " I didn't buy it, I stole it ; the owner 
 wouldn't give it up of his own free will. I offered him a 
 chestnut horse : you remember it — the one I won from Khvos- 
 tuireff? " 
 
 As it happened, Tchitchikoff had never seen either the chest- 
 nut horse nor I^vostuireft' in his life. 
 
 " Won't you have something to eat, master, now ? " said 
 the old woman, approaching Nozdreff. 
 
 "No, nothing. Ah, my dear Tchitchikoff", how we did
 
 60 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 carouse ! However, woman, give me a glass of vodka [spirits]. 
 What kind have you got ?" . ■ 
 
 " Aniseed," replied the old woman. 
 
 " Well, fetch your aniseed," said Nozdreff. 
 
 " Give me a glass too," said the fair-haired man. 
 
 " There was an actress at the theatre who sang like a canary," 
 now resumed Nozdreff. " Kuvshinnikoff, who sat beside me, 
 said, ' There, my dear fellow, we must make the most of the 
 strawberries with her.' I think there were at least fifty booths 
 at the fair. A fellow named Fenardi turned somersets for four 
 hours." Here he took a glass of aniseed from the old woman, 
 who made a low reverence to him. " Bring it here! " he next 
 cried, catching sight of Porfiriy entering with the puppy. 
 
 Porfiriy was dressed like his master, in a dirty wadded ark- 
 haluk.* He set the puppy on the floor ; the animal stretched 
 itself out, and then began to sniff and smell. 
 
 " There's a pup," said Nozdreff, grasping it by the back, and 
 lifting it up, whereupon it emitted a very pitiful howl. "But 
 you haven't done as I told you," resumed Nozdreff, turning to 
 Porfiriy, and examining the dog's belly attentively. " You have 
 not combed him." 
 
 " Yes, I did comb him." 
 
 " Then where have all those fleas come from ? " 
 
 " I can't tell. Perhaps they crawled on to him from the 
 britchka." 
 
 "You lie ! you lie ! and you never meant to comb him. I 
 believe, you fool, that you have given him some of your own 
 fleas. Look here, Tchitchikoff, look what ears he has ! just 
 feel them with your hand." 
 
 " Oh, I can see them; he's of a good breed," replied Tchit- 
 chikofi". 
 
 " No, but take hold of him ; feel his earg." 
 
 Tchitchikoff, to please Nozdreff, felt the animal's ears, and 
 then remarked, "Yes, he will be a good dog." 
 
 " And do you feel how cold his nose is ? Take it in your 
 hand." 
 
 Not wishing to offend him, Tchitchikoff touched the dog's 
 snout also, saying, " Good scent." 
 
 " A genuine bull-dog," went on Nozdreff. " I confess that I 
 had for a long time been whetting my teeth for a bull-dog. 
 Here, Porfiriy, take him away." 
 
 Porfiriy took hold of the dog, and carried him off to the 
 britchka. 
 
 * A loog, straight coat reaching to the knees.
 
 NOZDREFF. 61 
 
 "Listen, Tchitchikoflf," continued Nozdreff, "you certainly- 
 must come to my house ; it's only five versts away ; wo shall 
 be there in no time, and then you can go to Sobakevitch's, if 
 you like." 
 
 ""Why not?" said Tchitcbikoff to himself. "I will go to 
 Nozdrefi"s, after all. He isn't any worse than the others. He's 
 like everybody else ; and, besides, he's just been losing money. 
 He has plenty of everything, evidently ; and I might ask him 
 to give me something without payment." " I'll go, if you like," 
 be now added aloud ; " but don't detain me long ; time is of 
 value to me just now." 
 
 " Ah ! that's right ! that's good ! Wait, I'll kiss you for 
 that." Here Nozdreff and Tchitchikofi' embraced each other. 
 "That's glorious!" added the former; "we'll all three ride 
 together." 
 
 " No, you must let me leave you," said the fair-haired man. 
 " I must go home." 
 
 " Nonsense, nonsense, my dear fellow ! I won't let you go." 
 
 "But really, my wife will be angry ; you can get into the 
 other britchka now." 
 
 " Ni, ni, ni, don't think of it." 
 
 The fair-haired man was one of those individuals who, at first 
 sight, seem to have a stubborn character. Before you have 
 succeeded in opening your mouth they are ready to dispute, and 
 it seems as if they would never agree with anyone. However, 
 it always ends by their betraying some weakness, and consent- 
 . ing to the very thing they had opposed. 
 
 " Nonsense ! " said Nozdreft", in answer to some objection 
 made by his brother-in-law. Then he set the latter' s cap on his 
 head, and the fair-haired fellow followed his companions. 
 
 " You haven't paid for your aniseed, master," now said the 
 landlady. 
 
 " Oh, very well, very well, my good woman ! I say, brother- 
 in-law, pay, if you please. I haven't a copeck left in my 
 pocket. 
 
 " How much do you want ? " asked his brother-in-law. 
 
 " Why, twenty copecks in all," said the old woman. 
 
 " She's mad ! Give her ten ; that's more than enough." 
 
 "It's but little, master," said the old woman. However, she 
 took the money gratefully, and hastily went to open the door 
 for them. She had lost nothing, as she had asked four times 
 the worth of the vodka. 
 
 The travellers took their seats. Tchitchikoff's britchka drove 
 ■ idongside the one in which Nozdrefi' and his brother-in-law sat,
 
 62 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 1 
 
 and thus they could all three of them converse freely on the 
 way. Behind them followed Nozdreff's little calash, which was 
 always dropping in the rear, with its bony peasants' horses. In 
 this vehicle rode Porfiriy and the puppy. 
 
 While the travellers are journeying on, suppose we say some- 
 thing about Nozdreff, who may, perhaps, play a not unimpor- 
 tant part in our drama. 
 
 Nozdreff's person is probably already somewhat known to 
 the reader. It has fallen to the lot of everyone to meet a few 
 men like him. They are called lively young fellows, even in 
 childhood, and at school they have the reputation of being good 
 comrades. A certain amount of frankness, straightforwardness, 
 and boldness are visible on their countenances. They make 
 acquaintances quickly, and before you have time to look about 
 you they call you " thou." They apparently strike up a friend- 
 ship for ever ; but it almost always happens that the person whose 
 friendship they wish to cultivate quarrels with them that same 
 evening over a friendly drinking-bout. Nozdreff, at thirty-five, 
 was precisely the same as he had been at eighteen and twenty 
 years of age — a great lover of carousing. Marriage had effected 
 no change in him, especially as his wife had soon departed to the 
 other world, leaving him two small children who were decidedly 
 in his way, although a very pretty nurse looked after them. He 
 never could stay at home more than a day at a time. His sen- 
 sitive nose scented out a fair with all sorts of assemblies and balls 
 at a distance of ten versts away. In the twinkling of an eye 
 he was there, disputing and raising a tumult at the card tables, 
 for, like all men of his description, he bad a passion for cards. 
 He did not play in quite an irreproachable style or quite 
 honestly, as we have seen in the first chapter, for he knew 
 several ways of turning up false cards, and other things besides, 
 so that the game very frequently ended by his coming to grief ; 
 he was either kicked out, or else he returned home with only 
 one whisker left him, and that rather scanty. However, his 
 full, healthy cheeks were so well provided with vegetative 
 force that his whiskers soon grew afresh, and even stronger 
 than before. And what was strangest of all — the thing can 
 only happen in Russia — was that after a time he again met the 
 friends who had pummelled him, and met them ^as though 
 nothing had taken place. And he was not the worse for it, as 
 the saying goes, nor they either. 
 
 When Nozdreff was in society he would either drink himself 
 full in such a manner that he could only laugh, or else he would 
 lie and lie in the most terrible way. Indeed he lied absolutely
 
 NOZDREFF. ^3 
 
 without any need to do so ; all of a sudden he would tell a 
 stoiy about some horse he had owned w^ith a blue or pink mane, 
 and such-like nonsense, so that his hearers finally walked off 
 in mingled amazement and disgust. 
 
 While we have been describing Nozdreff the three equipages 
 have driven up to the porch of his house. In the house no 
 preparations had been made for their reception. In the middle 
 of the dining-room stood two wooden trestles, and mounted 
 upon them were two moujiks whitening the walls, and droning 
 out an interminable song, while the floor was all bespattered 
 with whitewash. Nozdreff at once ordered the moujiks and the 
 trestles off, and ran out info an adjoining room to give his orders. 
 His guests heard him giving the cook directions about dinner, 
 and on reflection, Tchitchikoff", who already began to feel some 
 appetite, realised that they would not sit down to |table before 
 five o'clock. When Nozdreff returned he took his guests to 
 inspect his village ; and in a little over two hours he had shown 
 them absolutely everything worthy of exhibition. First of all 
 they went to inspect the stables, where they saw two mares — 
 one a dapple-grey and the other a chestnut — and then a brown 
 stalHon, not very handsome to look at, but for which Nozdreff 
 swore that he had paid ten thousand roubles. 
 
 " Oh ! no, you did not give ten thousand for him surely," 
 remarked his brother-in-law. " He isn't worth even one." 
 
 " By heavens, I did give ten thousand ! " said Nozdreff. 
 
 " You may swear as much as you like," replied his brother- 
 in-law. 
 
 " Well, if you like, we will have a bet about it," said Nozdreff. 
 
 But his brother-in-law would not bet. Then Nozdreff showed 
 them an empty stall, where some valuable horses had formerly 
 stood ; and in this same stable they also saw a goat, an animal 
 which, according to an ancient superstition, is considered an in- 
 dispensable adjunct in any place where horses are kept. This 
 one seemed to be on good terms with the steeds, and walked 
 about beneath their bellies as if quite at home. Then Nozdreff 
 led his friends to view a young wolf, which was tied up. 
 
 "Here's a little wolf," said he. "I have him fed on raw 
 meat, expressly. I want him to be a perfect wild beast." 
 
 Next they went to look at the pond, which according to Noz- 
 dreff's statements, contained fish of such a size that two men 
 could vfiih difiiculty draw one of them to the shore — a statement 
 which his relative did not fail to cast a doubt upon. 
 
 "Now I'll show you the most splendid pair of dogs in the 
 world, Tchitchikoff," said Nozdrefi". " The firmness of their flesh
 
 64 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 will arouse your admiration, and their scent— it's wonderfully 
 keen." Thereupon he led them to a very prettily built little house, 
 surrounded by a large yard, enclosed on all sides. As they entered 
 the yard they saw all kinds of dogs, both long and short-haired, 
 and of every possible hue and colour — dark brown, black with 
 brown streaks, brown-spotted, red-spotted, black-eared, grey- 
 eared, &c. NozdrefF was perfectly at home among all these 
 animals, like a father in the midst of his family. They all in- 
 stantly elevated their tails, wagged them according to canine laws, 
 flew straight to meet the visitors, and began to greet them. About 
 ten of them placed their paws on Nozdreff's shoulders, another 
 one manifested the same friendship for Tchitchikoff, and, rising 
 on his hind legs licked his lips, so that our hero immediately 
 began to spit. The three men duly examined the two dogs, which 
 inspired admiration by the firmness of their flesh — indeed they 
 were fine animals — and then they went to see a Crimean bitch, 
 who was already blind and would die soon, so Nozdreff" declared, 
 though she had been a splendid creature only two years before. 
 They looked at the bitch and found that she really was blind. 
 Then they went to see the mill, overlooking a little stream. 
 " And now we must visit the blacksmith," said Nozdrefl'. And 
 after walking a little farther they came upon the smithy. 
 
 " Here, in this field," said Nozdrefi", pointing to a meadow near 
 the blacksmith's shop, " there's such a pest of hares, that you 
 can't see the ground for them at times. The other day I caught 
 one of them by the hind-legs with my own hand." 
 
 "Come now, you can't catch a hare with your hand," re^ 
 marked his brother-in-law. 
 
 "But I did, I actually did catch one!" replied Nozdreff'. 
 "Now I will take you to show you where my land ends," 
 he resumed, turning to Tchitchikoff'. 
 
 Nozdreff led his guests through a field full of briars and stones 
 and little mounds. The guests were obliged to make their way 
 over the clods recently turned by the plough. Tchitchikoff 
 began to feel tifed. lu many places water burst forth beneath 
 their feet, the district lay so low. At first they took pains in 
 -walking and set their feet cautiously ; but perceiving at last that 
 this was of no avail, they went straight on, without trying to 
 .escape the mud. After proceeding a considerable distance, they 
 at last beheld the boundary, which consisted of a wooden post 
 and a narrow ditch. " Here's the boundary-line," said Nozdreff; 
 " all that you behold on this side is mine, including all the 
 ^forest which looks so blue in that direction, and everything that 
 is behind the forest — yes, all that is mine ! "
 
 NOZDREFF. 65 
 
 " "When did the forest come into your possession ? " inquired 
 his brother-in-law. " Have you purchased it recently ? It 
 never used to belong to you." 
 
 " Yes, I bought it a little while ago," replied Nozdreff. 
 
 " How did you manage to buy it so quickly ? " 
 
 " How ? Why, I bought it on the day before yesterday, and 
 I paid a high price for it : devil take it ! " 
 
 " But you were at the fair then ! " 
 
 " What a fellow you are, Sofron ! Can't a man be at a fair 
 and buy some land as well ? Well, yes, I was at the fair, but 
 my steward bought it in my absence." 
 
 *' Yes, the steward might have done it," said his brother-in- 
 law ; but he still had his doubts and shook his head. 
 
 The visitors returned to the house by the same abominable 
 route. Nozdreff conducted them to his study, in which, how- 
 ever, no trace of those things which are usually to be seen in a 
 study, namely, books and papers, were perceptible ; the only 
 noteworthy articles there were a sword and two guns, which 
 were hanging on the wall, one of the firearms, according to their 
 owner, being worth three hundred, and the other eight hundred, 
 roubles. His brother-in-law, after surveying the apartment, 
 merely shook his head. Then they were shown some Turkish 
 daggers, on one of which was engraved the name " Savclli Sibi- 
 ri/aliojf, niaker." And then a hand-organ was produced, and 
 Nozdreff immediately ground out something. This hand-organ 
 played not unpleasantly ; but in the middle of the tunes some 
 catastrophe seemed to take place, for a mazurka suddenly 
 ended in the song, "Malbrook's going to the war ; " and the 
 latter, in its turn, unexpectedly developed into a well-known 
 waltz of ancient date. Long after the player had ceased to turn 
 the crank, one pipe in the organ, a very audacious one, would 
 not quiet down, but went on whistling. Then Nozdreff' exhi- 
 bited his pipes of wood, clay, and meerschaum, coloured and 
 uncoloured, some of them enveloped in chamois-s^in ; also a tchi- 
 bouk with an amber mouthpiece, which he had won at play not 
 long before ; and a tobacco-pouch, embroidered by some countess 
 or other, who had fallen head over heels in love with him at 
 some posting station, and whose little hands, as he expressed it, 
 were the most subtle superfluities in the world. By this word 
 superfluities, he probably intended to designate the highest 
 pitch of perfection. 
 
 After nibbling a little smoked sturgeon, they seated them- 
 selves at table at about five o'clock. It was evident that with 
 Nozdreff dinner did not constitute the principal feature in life ; 
 
 E
 
 66 DEAD SOULS 
 
 the dishes did not play a very great part in it : some of the 
 food was burned to cinders and part of it was not cooked at all. 
 It was plain, too, that the cook was chiefly guided by inspiration, 
 and dashed in the first thing which came to hand : if the pepper 
 stood near him, he sprinkled in pepper ; if cabbage came in his 
 way, he used cabbage ; and added milk, ham, peas — in short, 
 everything, slap-dash fashion. So long as it was hot, some 
 flavour would surely be the result. At dinner, Nozdreff directed 
 attention to the wine ; even before the soup was served he 
 poured out a large glass of port for each of his guests, and 
 another of Haut Sauterne ; for in the Russian provinces there is 
 no such thing as plain Sauterne. 
 
 Then Nozdi-eff ordered a bottle of Madeira to be brought ; 
 " and better,'' said he, " no field-marshal ever drank." The 
 Madeira actually scorched their mouths ; for the dealers being 
 well acquainted with the tastes of the provincial landed gentry, 
 had touched it up with rum, and added nitro-muriatic acid, in 
 the hope that the drinker's stomach would bear it all. Then 
 Nozdrefi" ordered a bottle of sparkling Burgundy to be brought, 
 and filled the glasses with great diligence, right and left — Tchi- 
 tchikoflf's and his brother-in-law's ; but Tchitchikofi" observed, 
 by the way, that he did not pour much into his own. This 
 made him cautious ; and as soon as Nozdrefi" began to talk or 
 to pour out some more liquor for his brother-in-law, he promptly 
 emptied his own glass on his plate. Before long some cherry- 
 brandy was brought on, which had, so Nozdrefi' declared, ex- 
 actly the same flavour as cream, but in which, to Tchitchikoft"s 
 amazement, common raw brandy was quite perceptible. Next 
 they drank some sort of balsam, which bore a name difiicult to 
 recall ; indeed the host himself gave it a difierent title when he 
 mentioned it for the second time. 
 
 The dinner had long been finished, and all the wines had 
 been tried, but the guests still lingered at the table. Tchitchi- 
 kofi" was unwilling to approach Nozdrefi" on the matter of most 
 importance to himself in the presence of the brother-in-law. 
 The subject was one that demanded solitude and a friendly 
 discussion. However, after all the brother-in-law could hardly 
 be a dangerous person, for he appeared to be pretty thoroughly 1 
 intoxicated, and as he sat there he kept pecking at the table 
 with his nose. Becoming conscious all at once that he was not 
 in a very nice condition, he made a suggestion that he had 
 better start for home, but he did so in as languid and feeble a 
 voice as if, to use the Russian expression, he were bridling a 
 horse with pincers.
 
 NOZDREFF. 67 
 
 " No, no, ni, ni ! I won't let you go ! " said Nozdreff. 
 
 *' Oh, don't detain me, my friend ; I really must go," said 
 the brother-in-law. " You ought not to detain me." 
 
 "Nonsense, nonsense ! we'll set up a bank in a minute." 
 
 "No ; set it up yourself, brother, but I can't. My wife will 
 be in a great rage, she will indeed. I shall have to tell her all 
 about the fair. I must, brother — I really must go at once. No, 
 don't detain me," 
 
 " Well ! let your wife go to . A mighty important matter 
 
 you have to discuss with her ! " 
 
 " No, brother ; but she is so worthy of esteem, and so true ! 
 She renders me such services that, will yoif beHeve it ? the 
 tears come into my eyes at thought of her. No, don't keep me 
 here ; as I am an honest man I must leave." 
 
 " Let him go ; of what use is he ? " said Tchitchikoff softly to 
 Nozdreff. 
 
 "Well, that's true," said Nozdreff. "I hate such people 
 like death itself! " and he added aloud, " Well, the Devil be 
 with you ! go and dally with your vfife,fetiuk." * 
 
 "No, brother, don't call me fetiuk," retorted his brother-in- 
 law. "I am indebted to her for my life. She really is so 
 good and sweet, and she caresses me so — it moves me to tears. 
 If she asks me what I have seen at the fair, I shall have to tell 
 her all about it — she really is so charming." 
 
 " Well, go and tell her a pack of lies ! There's your cap." 
 
 " No, brother, it is not at all proper for you to express your- 
 self about her in that manner ; it is the same thing as insulting 
 me, I may say — she is so lovely." 
 
 " Well, then, take yourself off to her as quickly as possible." 
 
 " Yes, brother, I am going. Excuse me for not staying; I 
 should Ibe heartily glad to do so, but I cannot." And the 
 brother-in-law continued to repeat his apologies for a long while 
 without perceiving that he had already been seated for some 
 time in his britchka, that he had passed through the gates, and 
 that the open fields alone were spread around him. We may 
 safely conclude from his condition that his wife did not learn 
 many particulars with regard to the fair. 
 
 "What a fool!" said Nozdreff, as he stood at the window 
 and watched the retreating carriage. " How he goes along ! 
 That little side-horse isn't a bad one, though ; I have long 
 wanted to get my hands on him. But there's nothing to be done 
 with my brother-in-law ; he's o, fetiuk, just simply a fetiuk ! " 
 
 After this they went back to the sitting-room. Porfiriy 
 * An insulting name.
 
 68 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 brought in lights, and Tchitchikoff observed that bis host held 
 a pack of cards which had most mysteriously made their way 
 into his hands. 
 
 " "Well, my dear fellow ! " said Nozdreff, pressing the cards 
 with his fingers, " come, just to while away the time, I'll hold 
 a three-hundred-rouble bank," 
 
 But Tchitchikoff pretended not to have heard this remark, for 
 as though an important matter had suddenly occured to his 
 memory, he said, " Ah ! lest I should forget it, I have a favour 
 to ask of you." 
 
 "What is it?" 
 
 " First, give me your word that you will grant it." 
 
 " But what is the favour ? " 
 
 " Come, give me your word." 
 
 " Very well." 
 
 " Your word of honour ? " . 
 
 . " My word of honour." 
 
 " Then here is my request : You surely have several dead 
 serfs whose names are not yet struck out of the census 
 returns ? " 
 
 "Well, yes. What of that?" 
 
 " Well, make them over to me, in my name." 
 
 " What do you want with them? " 
 
 '' Well, I need them." 
 
 " But what for ? " 
 
 " Well they are — but that's my business ; in short, I want 
 them." 
 
 "Come, you certainly have invented some scheme or other. 
 What is it? Tell me ? " 
 
 "Invented what scheme? What do j^ou mean? It's im- 
 possible to make anything out of such nonsense." 
 
 " But what can you want with them ? " 
 
 " Oh, what a curious fellow you are ; you want to feel every- 
 thing with your hand, and even to smell it ! " 
 
 " But why won't you say what they are for ? Look here ; as 
 long as you won't tell me, I won't do what you want." 
 
 " But what good will it do you to know ? Well, it's simply 
 this — the fancy struck me. But, look here, it is not honour- 
 able on your part ; you gave me your word, you know, and now 
 you take it back." 
 
 " Well, as you like ; but I won't make the dead serfs over to 
 you until you tell me what you want them for " 
 
 " What can I say to him ? " wondered Tchitchikoff; and, after 
 a moment's reflection, he declared that he needed the dead
 
 NOZDREFF. 69 
 
 souls in order to obtain weight in society ; that his landed 
 property was not large, so that, until it became more extensive, 
 he should like to have a few dead souls. 
 
 " You lie ! you lie ! " said Nozdreff", without permitting him 
 to finish. " You are lying, my good fellow! " 
 
 Tchitchikoff himself perceived that his story was not a very 
 skilful one, and that his excuse was lame. 
 
 " Well, then, I will tell you plainly," he said, recovering 
 himself, " only please do not tell any one. I am thinking of 
 marrying ; but you must know that the bride's father and 
 mother are very ambitious people. It's a nice affair, truly ; 
 I'm sorry I entered into it. They imperatively require the bride- 
 groom to o^vn not less than three hundred souls, and as I have 
 only a hundred and fifty peasants, that's not enough " 
 
 " Come, you're lying, lying ! " shouted Nozdrefi" again. 
 
 " No, no ! " said Tchitchikoff, " I haven't lied even so much 
 as that; " and, with his thumb, he pointed out the smallest 
 joint on his little finger. 
 
 " I'll stake my head that you are lying," retorted Nozdrefi". 
 
 " But this is an insult ! Why do you declare like that that 
 I am lying ? " 
 
 " Come, now, I certainly know you ; you are a'^reat rascal — >/ 
 allow me to tell you so in a friendly way. If I were your 
 superior ofiicer, I would have you hanged on the first tree." 
 
 Tchitchikoft" took ofi"ence at this remark. Any expression 
 that was in any wise coarse or contrary to decorum proved dis- 
 tasteful to him. In fact he did not even like to be treated 
 with familiarity under any circumstances, unless it were by 
 a very exalted personage indeed. So he was now thoroughly 
 ofi'ended. 
 
 "I'd hang you, by heavens I would!" repeated Nozdrefi". 
 " I say this to you frankly, not for the purpose of insulting you, 
 but simply as a friend." 
 
 " There are limits to everything," said Tchitchikoff" with a 
 show of dignity. " If you wish to make such speeches as 
 those, take yourself off" to some barracks." And then he added, 
 *' If you will not give me your dead serfs, then sell them to 
 me." 
 
 " Sell them ! Come, I know you; you are a scamp, and you 
 won't give much for them ! " 
 
 "Eh! but you are a strange fellow too! Look here; do 
 you prize those dead serfs very highly ? Do you value them 
 like diamonds ? " 
 
 "AVell, yes, I do."
 
 70 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " As you please. What Jewish instincts you have, my dear 
 fellow ! You simply ought to give them to me." 
 
 " Come, now, just to prove that I am not a niggard, I won't 
 take anything for them. But buy my stallion, and I will give 
 them to you as a bonus." 
 
 "But, pray, what do I want with your stallion?" said 
 Tchitchikofl", who was really astounded by this proposition. 
 
 " What ? Why, I paid ten thousand roubles for him, and I 
 will sell him to you for four." 
 
 " But of what use is a stallion to me ? I don't keep a 
 stud." 
 
 "But, listen; you don't understand me. I will only take 
 three thousand roubles from you now, and the other thousand 
 you can pay later on." 
 
 " But I have no use for the stallion, God be with him ! " 
 
 " Come, then, buy my chestnut mare." 
 
 " I don't need the mare either." 
 
 " I will only ask you two thousand roubles for the mare and 
 the grey horse which you saw in my stable." 
 
 " But I don't want the horses." 
 
 " You can sell them ; you will get twice as much for them at 
 the nearest fair." 
 
 "All the more reason why you should sell them youi'self, if 
 you are sure you could make twice as much." 
 
 " I know I should ; but I want you to have some profit." 
 
 Tchitchikofl" returned thanks for Nozdreft's friendly inten- 
 tions, and flatly declined to purchase either the grey horse or 
 the chestnut mare. 
 
 " Well, then, buy a dog. I'll sell you such a couple that on 
 seeing them cold chills will run over your skin ! Bnidastayas * 
 with whiskers ; their hair stands up like bristles ; the curves of 
 their loins are something inconceivable, and their paws are 
 round like balls." 
 
 " And what have I to do with dogs ; I am not a sportsman." 
 
 " But I want you to have some dogs. Listen : if you won't 
 take a dog, buy my hand-organ. It's a wonderful hand-organ ! 
 As I am an honest man, it cost me fifteen hundred roubles. I 
 will let you have it for nine hundred." 
 
 " And why should I buy a hand-organ ? I am not a German, 
 to drag it along the road and beg for money." 
 
 " But this is not the sort of hand-organ that the Germans use. 
 It's a valuble instrument ; examine it closely ; it's all of maho- 
 gany. Here, I'll show it to you once more." Here Nozdrefi", 
 * A very ugly sort of hunting-dog.
 
 NOZDREFF. 71 
 
 seizing Tchitchikoff by the hand, began to drag him into another 
 room ; and although our hero stamped his feet and protested 
 that he akeady knew all about the hand-organ, he was forced 
 to listen once more to the tune describing the manner in which 
 "Malbrook " (Marlborough) went to the war. 
 
 " If you won't give me any money, then, this is what I will 
 do. Listen ! I will let you have the hand-organ and all the 
 dead souls I have, and you shall give me your britchka and 
 three hundred roubles bonus." 
 
 " Come, that's an idea ! And what am I to travel in ?" 
 
 " I will give you another britchka. Come, let's go to the 
 carriage-house, and I will show it to you. You need only have 
 it painted over, and it will be a wonder of a britchka.'.' 
 
 " Why, some devil has deprived this fellow of his senses !" 
 said Tchitchikoff to himself ; and he resolved, at any cost, to 
 get rid of all britchkas, hand-organs, and dogs with inconceiv- 
 able cask-shaped ribs and ball-shaped paws. 
 
 " Then it's to be the britchka, the hand-organ, and the dead 
 souls all together." 
 
 " No ; I won't have them ! " said Tchitchikoff once more. 
 
 " Why won't you ? " 
 
 " Simply because I won't ; and that's enough." 
 
 " Well, what a fellow you are, to be sure ! I see that it is 
 impossible to get on with you like a good friend and comrade 
 — that's a fact ! It is evident that you are a double-faced 
 man." 
 
 " So I'm a knave, am I ? Well, judge for yourself : why should 
 I acquire a thing which is absolutely useless to me ? " 
 
 " Well, please don't mention it. I know you very well, now. 
 A thorough knave, truly ! Now, listen ; if you like, we'll have 
 a faro bank. I will slake all the dead souls on one card, and 
 the hand-organ to boot." 
 
 " Well, settling it by gambling means subjecting one's self to 
 uncertainty," said Tchitchikoff; and meantime he cast a glance 
 at the cards in Nozdreft''s hands. By the appearance of the 
 pack it struck him that these must be prepared cards — oven 
 the gilding on the edges seemed suspicious to him. 
 
 Why to uncertainty? " said Nozdreff". " There is no uncer- 
 tainty about it ; if luck is only on your side, you can win a 
 devil of a lot ! There it is ! Eh, what luck ! " he said, be- 
 ginning to deal for the sake of arousing his guest's appetite ; 
 " what luck, what luck ! Look here, and here ! Here's that 
 confounded card upon which I staked everything ! I felt that 
 it would give me over to the Evil One ; and I shut my eyes,
 
 72 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 and said to myself, ' Devil take you ; you will betray me, you 
 cursed thing! " 
 
 While Nozdreff was saying this, Porfiriy brought in a bottle 
 of wine. But Tchitchikoflf positively declined either to play or 
 to drink. 
 
 " Why won't you play ? " asked Nozdreff. 
 
 " Well, because I am not so disposed. To tell the truth, I 
 am not at all fond of gambling," 
 
 "Why not?" 
 
 Tchitchikoff shrugged his shoulders and retorted, "Because 
 I'm not." 
 
 " You're a fool, then ! " 
 
 " I can't help it. God made me so." 
 
 " You're simply &,fetiuk ! I used to think you a decent sort 
 of a man ; but you don't understand good manners at all. It's 
 impossible to talk with you as with a friend : there's no up- 
 rightness or sincerity about you ! You're a perfect Sobake- 
 vitch — ^.just such another rascal ! " 
 
 " Why are you insulting me ? Am I to blame because I 
 don't gamble ? Sell me your dead souls and let us have an end 
 of all this nonsense." 
 
 " May the bald devil get you ! I did mean to give them to 
 you for nothing, but now you won't get them at all ! I wouldn't 
 sell them even if you were to give me three empires. Such a 
 deceiver, such a detestable miser you are ! I will have nothing 
 to do with you from this time forth. Go, Porfiriy, tell the 
 ostler not to give any oats to this man's horses ; let them eat 
 hay instead." 
 
 Tchitchikofi" was not in in the least prepared for this last 
 decree. 
 
 " It would have been better if you had never presented your- 
 self before my eyes at all ! " exclaimed Nozdreff. 
 
 Despite this quarrel, the host and his guest supped together ; 
 but on this occasion no wines with seductive names appeared 
 upon the table, A single bottle of Cyprus reared its head : it 
 was of the sort known as sour {kislyatina) in every respect. 
 After supper Nozdreff told Tchitchikoff, as he conducted him 
 to an adjoining chamber, where sleeping accommodation was 
 prepared for him, " Here's your bed ; but I don't mean to wish 
 you good night." 
 
 Tchitchikoff remained in the most unpleasant frame of mind 
 after Nozdreff's departure. He was inwardly vexed with him- 
 self, and reproached himself with having come to this house, 
 and thus wasted his time. He reproached himself still more
 
 NOZDREFF. 73 
 
 for his indiscretion in discussing a business matter with Nozdrefl', 
 which was acting indiscreetly, like a child, like a fool in fact, 
 for the matter was not at all of a kind which could be intrusted 
 to Nozdreff. 
 
 "Nozdreff is a worthless fellow, who lies, embellishes his 
 facts, and is capable of setting afloat the deuce knows what. 
 Some scandal will surely arise. It was not prudent to tell him 
 that — not prudent at all ! I am a perfect fool ! " added our 
 friend to himself. 
 
 He slept very badly that night. Certain small but very 
 dauntless insects bit him in an intolerably painful manner, so 
 that when he had scratched a whole handful ofi' himself he 
 exclaimed, " I wish the devil had taken you, and Nozdreff 
 also ! " 
 
 He woke early in the morning. His first act, after putting on 
 his dressing-gown and boots, was to cross the yard to the 
 stable, and order Selifan to harness the britchka at once. As 
 he was returning through the yard he met Nozdretf, who was 
 also in his dressing-gown, and had a pipe between his lips. 
 
 Nozdreff greeted him in a friendly way, and inquired how he 
 had slept. 
 
 " So-so," replied Tchitchikoff very drily. 
 
 "As for myself, my dear fellow," said Nozdreff, "I had the 
 horrors all night, — it's terrible to speak of it ; it seems as 
 if a squadron had bivouacked in my mouth. I yelled so ; for, 
 just fancy, I dreamed that I was being flogged, ha, ha ! And 
 by whom do you suppose ? You'll never guess it. Why, by 
 Stafi'-Captain Potzyelueft' and my friend Kuvshinnikoff." 
 
 "Yes," thought Tchitchikoff to himself, "it would be a 
 good thing if they would really give you a sound drubbing in 
 real life." 
 
 " By Heavens ! it was extremely painful," resumed Nozdreff. 
 " I woke up, and, devil take it ! there actually was something 
 scratching me ; in fact, it was the fleas. Now, go and dress 
 yourself; I will join you immediately. I have only to give 
 that rascally steward of mine a good cursing." 
 
 Tchitchikoff went to his room to wash and dress. When he 
 emerged into the dining-room after performing his ablutions, 
 the tea-things and a bottle of rum were already standing on the 
 table. Traces of the dinner and supper of the preceding day 
 were still about the room. The broom did not appear to have 
 been applied at all, for the floor was strewn with bits of crust, 
 and some tobacco-ash still lay on the tablecloth. Nozdreff 
 himself, who entered immediately afterwards, had nothing on
 
 U DEAD SOtJtS. 
 
 besides his dressing-gown, which, being partially open, disclosed 
 his bare hairy chest. As he held his tchibouk in his hand and 
 sipped his tea, he was a very fine sight indeed for one of those 
 painters who object to gentlemen whose hair is too well-brushed 
 and curled, or who are too sprucely attired. 
 
 " Well, what do you think about it ? " said Nozdreff after a 
 brief silence ; " won't you play for the souls ? " 
 
 " I have already told you, my dear fellow, that I don't play ; 
 I will purchase them, if you like," 
 
 " Then I won't sell ; that wouldn't be behaving in a friendly 
 manner. I Avon't take money for the deuce knows what. But 
 play is another matter. Let's cut the cards at least." 
 
 " I have already said no," 
 
 " And you won't change your mind '? " 
 
 " No ; I will not," 
 
 "Then listen; let us play at draughts: if you win, all the 
 dead souls will be yours. For I have a great many who must be 
 crossed out of the next census list. Hey, there, Porfiriy, fetch 
 the draught-board here ! " 
 
 "It is useless trouble ; I shall not play," said Tchitchikoff, 
 
 " But this is not gambling. There can be no luck or falsify- 
 ing in this ; it's all skill. I even warn you in advance that I 
 hardly know how to play at all ; so perhaps you will allow me 
 something to start with." 
 
 " Well, I'll try it," said Tchitchikoff to himself. " I'll play 
 at draughts with him. I used to play the game rather well, 
 and it will be difficult for him to indulge in any of his tricks 
 in it." 
 
 " So be it," he then observed aloud. " If you like, I will 
 play at draughts." 
 
 " The souls shall stand for one hundred roubles." 
 
 " Why so ? It will be enough if they are reckoned at fifty." 
 
 " No, no ! what sort of a stake is fifty roubles ? But it "will 
 be better for me to include in the hundred roubles some medium- 
 class dog, ar a gold watch-seal." 
 
 " Well, as you like," said Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " How many kings will you give me ? " said Nozdreff. 
 
 " Eh ? Why, none, of course." 
 
 "Let me at least have two moves." 
 
 " No, I won't ; I am a bad player myself." 
 
 " We know what a bad player you are," replied Nozdreff, 
 making the first move, 
 
 " It is a very long time since I have had any draughts in my 
 hands," said Tchitchikoff, also making a move.
 
 I 
 
 NoZdReff. '75 
 
 *' We know you, and we know just how badly you play," 
 retorted Nozdreti", moving forward another draught, and at the 
 same time a third one with the edge of hig sleeve. 
 
 "It is a very long time since I had any draughts in my 
 hand," again repeated Tchitchikofl'. "But eh, eh! what's 
 that, my good fellow ? Put that back ! " 
 
 "What?" 
 
 " That draught," said Tchitchikoff, and at the same instant 
 he caught sight of another almost under his very nose, which 
 seemed to have become a king spontaneously. Where it had 
 come from, God only knew. "No," said Tchitchikofi", rising 
 from the table, " there is absolutely no possibility of playing 
 with you ! Things are not managed like that — three pieces 
 moved at a time." 
 
 " What do you mean by three ? It was a mistake. One 
 moved without my knowing it ; I'll take it back, if you like." 
 
 " And the other — where did it come from ? " 
 
 " Which other ? " 
 
 " This one, which has become a king." 
 
 " The idea ! As if you didn't recollect ! " 
 
 " No, my good fellow; I counted all the moves, and I re- 
 member everything. You put it there just now. That's where 
 it belongs." 
 
 " What — where's the place ? " said NozdrefF, reddening. " I 
 see, my dear fellow, that you are a romancer." 
 
 " No, my good fellow ; it seems that you are the romancer, 
 but an unsuccessful one." 
 
 " For whom do you take me ? " asked NozdrefF. " Do you 
 mean to say that I am cheating ? " 
 
 " I do not take you for anything, but I will never play with 
 you again from this time forth." 
 
 " No ; you can't give it up," said NozdrefF, becoming angry, 
 " the game has begun ! " 
 
 " I have a right to leave off, since you don't play in a man- 
 ner becoming to an honest man." 
 
 " What ! you lie ! You cannot say that ! " 
 
 " No, my good fellow, you yourself are lying." 
 
 " I did not cheat, and you cannot refuse to play. You must 
 finish the game." 
 
 " You cannot make me do so," rejoined Tchitchikoff coolly; 
 and, stepping up to the board, he mixed all the draughts to- 
 gether. 
 
 Nozdreff fired up at once, and came so near to Tchitchikoff 
 that the latter retreated a couple of paces.
 
 76 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 "I will force you to play! It doesn't matter if you liave 
 mixed up the draughts. I remember all the moves. We will 
 put them back just as they were." 
 
 " No, my dear fellow; that matter is ended. I won't play 
 with you." 
 
 " You won't play ? " 
 
 " You see yourself that it is impossible to play with you." 
 
 " No ; say plainly that you won't play," said Nozdreff, step- 
 ping up closer to him. 
 
 "I won't!" replied Tchitchikoff, as he raised both hands 
 nearer to his face in case of an emergency, for matters were 
 really coming to a crisis. This precaution of his was very well 
 timed, for Nozdreff gave a sweep of his arm, and one of our 
 hero's fat and pleasant-looking cheeks would have been marked 
 with indelible dishonour if, fortunately, he had not parried the 
 blow, seized Nozdreff with both hands, and squeezed him powex'- 
 fully. 
 
 " Porfiriy ! Pavlushka ! " shouted Nozdreff in a rage, and 
 striving to free himself. 
 
 On hearing these words, Tchitchikoff, so as not to let the 
 servants be witnesses of any disgraceful scene, and conscious 
 at the same time that it was useless to hold Nozdreff, released 
 his grasp. At the same moment Porfiriy and Pavlushka, the 
 latter a robust young fellow, whom it would have been hard 
 to contend against, came in. 
 
 "So you won't finish the game?" asked Nozdreff. "An- 
 swer me plainly." 
 
 " It is impossible to finish the game," said Tchitchikoff, and 
 he glanced out of the window. He saw his britchka standing 
 quite ready, and Selifan seemed to be merely awaiting a sign 
 to drive up to the porch. However, there was no possibility 
 of getting out of the room ; the two stout peasants stood at the 
 door. 
 
 " So you won't finish the game ? " repeated Nozdreff, with 
 his face burning as if it were on fire. 
 
 "If you had played as befits an honest man, I would have 
 gone on ; but now I cannot." 
 
 " Ah ! so you cannot, you rascal ! When you saw that you 
 couldn't have it all your own way, you threw it up. Thrash 
 him ! " shrieked Nozdreff, quite beside himself, and turning to 
 Porfiriy and Pavlushka, while he himself firmly grasped his 
 cherry-wood tchibouk. Tchitchikoff turned as pale as a sheet. 
 He tried to say something, but felt that his lips moved without 
 producing a sound. " Thrash him ! " screamed Nozdreff, rush-
 
 NOZDREFF. 77 
 
 ing forward with his pipe-stem, and covered with perspiration, 
 as though he had attacked an impregnable fortress. *' Thrash 
 him ! " he yelled, in the same voice with which some despairing 
 lieutenant, at the moment of a great assault, shouts " Forward, 
 children ! " to his men. However, if NozdretF imagined himself 
 to be some desperately enthusiastic officer attacking a fortress, 
 the stronghold upon which he was marching did not in the least 
 resemble an impregnable one. On the contrary, Tchitchikoff 
 experienced such terror that his heart seemed to sink to his 
 heels. The chair with which he had contemplated defending 
 himself had already been torn from his hands by the serfs ; 
 already, with his eyes half shut, and feeling more dead than 
 alive, he prepared to take a taste of his host's Circassian tchibouk, 
 and no one knows what would have become of him, had not 
 fate been graciously pleased to save his ribs, his shoulders, and 
 his hind- quarters. All of a sudden, and in the most unexpected 
 manner, as though coming from the clouds, the quivering jingle 
 of bells became audible, and then the rumbling of the wheels 
 of a telyega driving up to the porch resounded, the heavy snort- 
 ing and oppressed breathing of the heated horses reverberating 
 in the very room. They all involuntarily glanced out of the 
 window. Someone with a moustache, in a military-looking 
 surtout, descended from the telyega. After inquiring in the 
 ante-room, he entered while Tchitchikoff was still quaking with 
 alarm, being, indeed, in the most pitiable situation in which 
 mortal ever found himself. 
 
 " Allow me to inquire which of you gentlemen is Mr. Noz- 
 dreff," said the stranger, looking with some surprise both at 
 Nozdreff himself, who was standing, tchibouk in hand, and at 
 Tchitchikoff, who seemed dismayed. 
 
 " Allow me to inquire, first of all, to whom I have the 
 honour of speaking," said Nozdreff, stepping up closer to the 
 stranger. 
 
 " The captain-ispravnik." '■'•'■ 
 
 " And what do you want, pray ? " 
 
 " I -have come to acquaint you with the fact that you will 
 remain under arrest until your case is decided." 
 
 " What nonsense ! What case ? " asked Nozdreff. 
 
 "You have been mixed up in a scandalous affair — as you 
 know very well. While in a state of intoxication you and some 
 companions grossly insulted landowner Maximoff and beat 
 him." 
 
 " You he ! I never yet set eyes on landowner Maximoff'." 
 * The head of the rural police.
 
 78 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " My dear sir, permit me to inform you that I am an officer ; 
 you can reply like that to your servants, but not to me." 
 
 Hereupon Tchitchikotf, without waiting to hear what retort 
 Nozdreff would make, hastily snatched up his cap and slipped 
 past the captain-ispravnik on to the steps, seated himself in his 
 britchka, and ordered Selifan to drive off, urging his horses to 
 the top of their speed. 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 SOBAKEVITCn. 
 
 OuK hero was thoroughly frightened. Although his Britchka 
 was rolling along at full speed, and Nozdreff's village had long 
 since disappeared from sight behind the meadows, the declivi- 
 ties, and hillocks, he still kept looking behind him in terror, as 
 though he expected that a pursuing party would suddenly make 
 its appearance. He breathed with difficulty, and when he laid 
 his hand upon his heart, he found that it was going thump, 
 thump, like a woodcock in a cage. " Ah, what a fright he gave 
 me! Only think of it!" Then all sorts of forcible and un- 
 pleasant wishes were heaped upon Nozdreff : some ugly words 
 even occurred in the course of all this. Tchitchikoff was a 
 Russian, and in a rage. Moreover, it was by no means a matter 
 for jest. " Say what you like," he said to himself, "if that 
 captain-ispravnik had not come in, I might never have looked 
 upon the light of God again. I should have disappeared like a 
 bubble in the water, without leaving a trace, without any pos- 
 terity, without having acquired for my future children any pro- 
 perty or position or even an honourable name." Our hero, it 
 will be observed, was very solicitous about his descendants. 
 
 " He's a brute, that Nozdreff," thought Selifan to himself. 
 " I never saw such a fellow before. I'd like to spit on him ! 
 It's all well enough not to give a man anything to eat, but you 
 ought to feed a horse properly ; a horse loves oats ; that's his 
 fodder ; what bread and meat are for us, so oats are for him ; 
 his provisions." 
 
 The horses, also, apparently, entertained an unfavourable 
 opinion of Nozdreff; the piebald one especially. Although the 
 worst oats always fell to his share, and although Selifan never
 
 SOBAKEVITCH. 79 
 
 poured auy into his manger without saying, " you rascal ! " 
 still he usually did have some oats, and not plain hay ; but at 
 Nozdrefif 's he had been given hay alone, and that was not proper. 
 So, like everyone else, he was far from being content. 
 
 The cogitations of man and beast alike were suddenly inter- 
 rupted in a most unexpected manner. The horses, Tchitchikofl", 
 and Selifan abruptly came to themselves when a calash drawn 
 by six horses bore down upon them. Almost directly afterwards 
 there rang out the frightened cries of two ladies seated in the 
 calash, and the curses and threats of their coachman, who bawled 
 out "0, you rascal ! I shouted to you at the top of my voice, 
 * Turn to the right, you jack-a-napes ! ' Are you drunk ? " 
 
 Selifan was conscious of his neglect of duty ; but, as a Russian 
 never likes to acknowledge himself in the Avrong before another, 
 he immediately drew himself up, and retorted, " And what were 
 you dashing along in that way for ? Did you leave your eyes 
 in pawn in some wine-shop ? " Then he began to back the 
 britchka, trying by this means to free it from the other equi- 
 page, but all in vain ; everything was entangled. The ladies in 
 the calash looked on at all this with alarm depicted on their 
 countenances. One of them was old, and the other quite 
 young, — she was a girl of sixteen, with her golden hair neatly 
 and prettily wound about her small head. The lovely oval of 
 her face was like that of a fresh egg, and it shone with a certain 
 transparent whiteness, also like an egg when it is held against 
 the light in the sun-browned hands of the housekeeper examin- 
 ing it. The gui's delicate ears also transmitted a warm, rosy 
 light ; and, in addition to all this, the terror expressed by her 
 parted lips and the tears in her eyes — in fact, everything made 
 her so charming that our hero gazed at her for several minutes 
 without paying the slightest heed to the confusion which had 
 arisen between the horses and the coachmen. 
 
 " Get out of the way, you Nizhegorod crow ! " shouted the 
 strange driver. Selifan drew back his reins, the strange coach- 
 man did the same, the horses retreated a little, and then again 
 came into collision, and kicked over the traces. Hereupon the 
 piebald horse was so delighted at the idea of making some new 
 acquaintances, that ho absolutely refused to back, but laying 
 his nose upon the neck of a new-found friend, seemed to be 
 whispering something into his ear — some horrible nonsense, 
 probably, for the horse of the calash kept shaking his ears 
 incessantly. 
 
 However, some moujiks from the village, which, happily, was 
 near by, finally assembled on the scene of disorder. Such a,
 
 80 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 spectacle is a boon to the moujik, just as a newspaper or a club 
 is to a German, so a throng of peasants soon collected about 
 the equipages, only the old women and little children being left 
 in the village. The traces were unhitched ; a few blows dealt 
 upon the piebald's nose made him spring back ; in a word, the 
 teams were disentangled and led apart. But whether they 
 were vexed at being separated from their newly-found friends, 
 or were simply obstinate, at all events, whip them as the coach- 
 men would, they refused to stir, standing stockstill as though 
 rooted to the spot. 
 
 The sympathy of the peasants became acute. They vied with 
 one another in oifering advice. " Go, Andriushka," said one of 
 them, " lead that side-horse on the right, and let uncle Mityai 
 mount the shaft-horse. Get on, uncle Mityai." Long, gaunt 
 Mityai, a fellow with a red beard, climbed upon the shaft-horse, 
 where he looked like the village bell-tower, or, rather, like a 
 well-pole, with which water is drawn from a well. The coach- 
 man lashed his horses, but nothing came of it : uncle Mityai 
 rendered no assistance. " Stop, stop ! " then shouted the pea- 
 sants. " Get on the side-horse, uncle Mityai, and let uncle 
 Minj'ai mount the shaft-horse." Uncle Minyai, a broad-shoul- 
 dered moujik, with a beard as black as pitch, and a belly like 
 the gigantic samovar in which sbiten is prepared for a large 
 party of frozen market folks, willingly mounted the shaft-horse, 
 which almost fell to the earth beneath his weight. " Now 
 matters will go better," cried the peasants. " Warm him up, 
 warm him up ! Give a taste of the whip to that dun horse, 
 who has planted his legs obstinately apart, like a koramora." * 
 
 But perceiving that matters did not improve, and that the 
 warming up did no good, uncle Mityai and uncle Minj-ai both 
 mounted the shaft-horse, and Andriushka got upon the side one. 
 Finally the coachman, losing patience, made both uncle Mityai 
 and uncle Minyai dismount ; and he did right, for the horses 
 were steaming as though they had journeyed a whole stage at 
 full speed without drawing breath. He allowed them to rest 
 for a moment, after which they started off of their own accord. 
 While this was going on Tchitchikoff stared with great attention 
 at the young stranger in the calash. He made several attempts 
 to address her, but for some reason or other he was unsuccess- 
 ful. At last the ladies departed ; the girl's pretty head, delicate 
 features, and slender form disappeared, somewhat like a vision ; 
 
 * A large, long gnat, which when it alights on a waU may be ap- 
 proached and easily seized by the legs. 
 
 !
 
 "t:^ 
 
 SOBAKEVITCH. 81 
 
 and there only remained — the road, the britchka, the troika of 
 horses so well known to the reader, SeUfan, Tchitchikoff, and 
 the low-lying, blank-looking fields around. 
 
 As Selifan drove off again, Tchitchikoff began to think about 
 the young girl in the calash. " She was a pretty little thing," 
 said he, opening his snuffbox, and taking a pinch of snuff. 
 " She was nicely dressed too," he added. " So I suppose that 
 she is well off, I wonder what sort of a man her father is. Is 
 he a wealthy landowner of respectable morals, or simply a man 
 with money acquired in the public service ? This girl might 
 have a dowry of two hundred thousand roubles or so, and she 
 would be a very, very appetizing little morsel. Such a dowry 
 would be quite a fortune to many a respectable man." 
 
 The snug little sum of two hundred thousand roubles appeared 
 to his mind in such fascinating colours, that he even began to 
 feel vexed with himself for not having inquired who the travellers 
 were during the stoppage which had followed upon the accident. 
 However, the appearance of Sobakevitch's village speedily 
 changed his thoughts, and caused them to turn to the matter 
 he had in hand. 
 
 The village struck him as a tolerably large one ; to right and 
 left of it, like two wings, one dark, the other light, stretched 
 two woods, one of birch trees and the other of pines ; in the 
 centre rose up a wooden house, with a mezzanine storey, a red 
 roof, and walls painted a dull gray — it was a house of the sort 
 usually erected among us on military settlements and by Ger- 
 man colonists. It was apparent also that, during its construc- 
 tion, the architect had had to carry on a constant struggle with 
 the owner's tastes. This architect had been a pedant, and had 
 desired symmetry, but the owner had wanted comfort, and had 
 sacrificed all the Avindows on one side of the house so as to avoid 
 draughts. And, moreover, the verandah was by no means in 
 the middle of the frontage, for the owner had given orders to 
 omit one column on one side, so that there were only three 
 columns instead of four, as had been originally provided for. 
 The yard was surrounded by palings of unusual strength and 
 thickness, and the owner evidently paid great attention to 
 the question of durability. Huge, untrimmed beams, calculated 
 to last for centuries, had been employed in building the stables, 
 the carriage-house, and the kitchen. The moujiks' huts in the 
 village were also wonderfully well put together ; there were no 
 brick walls, no carvings or other adornments, but everything 
 was solid and in proper condition. In short, everything at
 
 82 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 which Tchitchikoff gazed was substantial, and firm, but had an 
 unprepossessing look. 
 
 As he drove up to the porch, he caught sight of two people, 
 who looked out of one of the windows at almost the same 
 moment, — a woman with a cap on her head, and with a face as 
 long and narrow as a cucumber ; and a man whose countenance 
 was as round as the Moldavian pumpkins called calabashes, 
 with which, in Russia, balalaikas ■'- are made, — those light, two- 
 stringed instruments, the ornament and solace of the susceptible 
 youth of twenty, who walks along in his dandified way, winking 
 at the white-bosomed, white-necked maidens who have assem- 
 bled to listen to his soft music. After taking a peep out of the 
 window, both faces disappeared at the same moment. A lackey 
 in a gray jacket, with a tall blue collar, made his appearance 
 upon the steps, and led Tchitchikoff into the vestibule, where 
 Sobakevitch himself came to meet him. On catching sight of 
 his visitor, he said abruptly, " Pray enter," and led him inside 
 the house. 
 
 When they had entered the drawing-room, Sobakevitch pointed 
 to an arm-chair, and said, " Pray be seated." Then Tchitchikofi", 
 as he seated himself, glanced at the walls, and at the pictures 
 which were hanging on them. These pictures were portraits of 
 young men, Greek military leaders, portrayed at full length. 
 At the window hung a cage, out of which peeped a dark-brown 
 thrush with white spots, which, strange as it may seem, bore a 
 striking resemblance to its master. The host and his guest had 
 not been together two minutes, when the door of the drawing- 
 room opened, and the hostess came in, — a tall lady in a cap 
 with ribbons, which had been dyed with some home-made dye. 
 She entered in stately fashion, holding her head as erect as a 
 palm-tree holds its crest. 
 
 " This is my Feodulia Ivanovna," said Sobakevitch. Tchit- 
 chikofi" approached, and kissed the hand which she almost shoved 
 against his lips, and this afi'orded him an opportunity of observing 
 that her hand had been washed in salt water in which some 
 cucumbers had been kept. This is said to be very good for the 
 skin. " Let me present this gentleman to you, my love," con- 
 tinued Sobakevitch: "Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikofi'! I had 
 the honour of making his acquaintance at the houses of the 
 governor and the chief of police." 
 
 Feodulia Ivanovna invited our hero to seat himself, making a 
 movement with her head similar to those made by actresses 
 
 * A primitive kind of guitar.
 
 SOBAKEVITCH. 83 
 
 when they are impersonating queens. Then she seated herself 
 on the sofa, covered her shoulders with her merino kerchief, and 
 did not move so much as an eye or an eyebrow. 
 
 Tchitchikoff again raised his eyes to the walls, and again 
 beheld the Greek heroes and the thrush in the cage. " We 
 were speaking of you at the presiding judge's — Ivan Grigore- 
 vitch's — on Friday evening last," he said at last, perceiving 
 that Sobakevitch and his wife were not disposed to begin 
 the conversation. " We passed the time very pleasantly 
 there. ' 
 
 " Yes : I was not at the president's on that occasion," replied 
 Sobakevitch. 
 
 " He is a very fine man." 
 
 " Who ? " asked Sobakevitch, looking at the stove in the 
 corner. 
 
 " The president of the court." 
 
 "Well, perhaps he strikes you that way; but in reality the 
 world has never produced such another fool." 
 
 Tchitchikofi" was rather taken aback by this sharp remark ; 
 but recovering himself, he went on, "Of course, no man is 
 exempt from failings ; but the governor now — what a fine man 
 he is ! " 
 
 " The governor a fine man ? " 
 
 "Yes : is he not ? " 
 
 " Why, he's the greatest robber in the world ! " 
 
 " What ! the^governor a robber ? " said Tchitchikofi*, and he 
 could not in the least understand how the governor came to be 
 numbered among robbers. " I must confess that I never should 
 have thought such a thing," he continued. " Permit me to 
 remark, however, that his behaviour does not correspond with 
 anything of the sort : on the contrary, there is even a kindli- 
 ness about him." Here our hero drew out, as a proof, a purse 
 which the governor had embroidered with his own hands and 
 given him, and then he spoke in terms of praise mth regard to 
 the suave expression of his excellency's countenance. 
 
 " But his face is that of a highwayman," said Sobakevitch. 
 " Only give him a knife, and let him loose on the highway, and 
 he'll cut your throat for a copeck, that he will ! He and the 
 vice-governor — why they're Gog and Magog ! " 
 
 " Sobakevitch is evidently not on good terms with them," 
 thought Tchitchikofi". " Shall I talk to him about the chief of 
 police ? He seemed to be a friend of his — However, that's 
 nothing to me," he added aloud. " I must acknowledge that 
 the chief of police pleases me most of all. What a fine, open
 
 84 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 upright character he has ! The simplicity of his heart is visible 
 on his face." 
 
 "He's a rascal!" said Sobakevitch with the greatest cool- 
 ness. " He betrays and deceives us, and yet he dines with us ! 
 I know them all, and they are all rascals ; the whole town is 
 just the same : scoundrel sits by scoundrel, and rails against 
 othev scoundrels. They are all betrayers of Christ. There's 
 only one honest man there — the procurator ; and he's a pig, if 
 the truth must be told ! " 
 
 After these laudatory remarks, Tchitchikoff perceived that 
 there was no use in mentioning the other officials ; and he now 
 recalled the fact that Sobakevitch was not fond of speaking well 
 of any one. 
 
 " Well, my love, shall we have some dinner ? " said Sobake- 
 vitch' s wife to her husband. 
 
 "Pray let us have it!" replied Sobakevitch. Thereupon, 
 approaching the table, the host and his guest drank a glass of 
 vodka apiece, as was fitting, tasted some zakuska, as all people 
 do through all the length and breadth of Russia, including 
 various salted viands and other appetizing dishes, and then 
 repaired to the dining-room: before them, like a swimming 
 goose, went the hostess. 
 
 The small table was set for four. At the fourth place there 
 speedily appeared — it is difiicult to say precisely what ; whether 
 a lady or a girl, a relative, a housekeeper, or simply someone 
 who was living in the house, — at all events, a somebody without 
 a cap, about thirty years old, in a gown of motley hues. 
 
 " The cabbage soup is very good to-day, my soul," said 
 Sobakevitch, after sipping his soup, and taking on his plate a 
 huge supply of nyani, a dish which consists of breast of mutton 
 stuffed with buckwheat groats, brains, and trotters. " Such 
 nyani as this," he added, turning to Tchitchikoff", "cannot be 
 got in town : the Devil knows what they give you there ! " 
 
 " But the governor's table wasn't bad," said Tchitchikoff". 
 
 "But do you know what all his stuff is made of? You 
 wouldn't eat it if you did know." 
 
 " I do not know how it is prepared, and I am no judge of 
 that ; but the pork cutlets and the boiled fish were excellent." 
 
 " So it seemed to you. But I know what they buy at the 
 market. That rascal of a cook, who has taken lessons of a 
 Frenchman, buys a cat, skins it, and serves it up on the table 
 instead of a hare." 
 
 "Faugh! what unpleasant things you say!" said Sobake- 
 vitch's wife.
 
 SOBAKEVITCH. 85 
 
 " What of it, my love? That's the way they manage things. 
 I am not to blame if they do so. Every superfluous thing, 
 which our Akulka throws — if I may be allowed to mention it 
 — into the swill-tub, they put in their soup — yes, in their soup ! 
 And there you have the truth ! " 
 
 " You are always telling that sort of thing at table," returned 
 Sobakevitch's wife again. 
 
 " What of it, my soul?" said Sobakevitch: "if I did that 
 myself — but I tell you to your face, that I wouldn't eat filth. 
 If you were even to smother a frog in sugar, I wouldn't put him 
 in my mouth, and I won't touch oysters either : I know what 
 an oyster is like. Take some mutton," he continued, turning to 
 Tchitchikoff ; "this is breast of mutton with stuffing. It's 
 none of those fricassees, such as are made in gentlemen's kit- 
 chens from meat which has been flung round in the market for 
 four days ! It is the German and French doctors who invented 
 all that. I'd like to hang them all for it ! They have invented 
 dieting, too — which is curing people by hunger. Because they 
 have weak natures themselves they fancy that they know 
 how to doctor Russian stomachs! No, all that isn't the right 
 
 thing by any means ; it's all humbug ; it's all " Here 
 
 Sobakevitch nodded his head very angrily. "Ah! they are 
 always talking about civilization, civilization ; and their civiliza- 
 tion is — faugh ! I wanted to use another word, but it would 
 have been indecent at table. I don't have anything of that sort 
 in my house. When I have pork, I send the whole pig to 
 table ; when I have mutton, I bring on the whole sheep ; or 
 goose, and then we have the whole goose ! I'd rather have 
 only two dishes, and eat as my fancy dictates." Sobakevitch 
 confirmed his words by action : he piled half the breast of mut- 
 ton upon his plate, ate all the meat, gnawed the bones, and 
 sucked them to the very last one. 
 
 "Yes," thought Tchitchikofl', "that man's thick lips do not 
 belie him." 
 
 " I don't have things," now said Sobakevitch, wiping his 
 hands on his napkin, " I don't manage things here, as a certain 
 Pliushkin manages them at his house : he owns eight hundred 
 souls, and yet he lives and dines worse than my shepherd." 
 
 " W^ho is this Pliushkin ? " asked Tchitchikofl'. 
 
 " A scoundrel ! " replied Sobakevitch. "He's such a miser 
 as you can hardly conceive of. Prisoners live better in jail 
 than he does: all his serfs have died, one after another, of 
 hunger." 
 
 " lieally," interposed Tchitchikofl', with interest. " And do
 
 86 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 you mean to say that his people actually die off in great 
 numbers '? " 
 
 " They die like flies." 
 
 " Like flies ! Is it possible ? But allow me to ask you, how 
 far away from you does he live ? " 
 
 " Five versts." 
 
 "Five versts!" exclaimed Tchitchikoff: and he was even 
 conscious of a slightly accelerated action of the heart. " And 
 when you emerge from your gates, is it towards the right, or 
 the left ? " 
 
 "I should advise you not to think of going to that dog's ! " 
 said Sobakevitch."' " It is more excusable for a man to go to 
 some improper place than to his house." 
 
 " Oh ! I was not inquiring with any special object, but merely 
 because I take an interest in knowing about all sorts of places," 
 replied Tchitchikofi". 
 
 After the breast of mutton came some votrus1ika,\ each of 
 which was bigger than a plate ; then a turkey, as large as a calf, 
 stuffed with all sorts of good things — eggs, rice, liver, and 
 heaven knows what all ; all placed in a ball inside the bird. 
 This ended the dinner : but when they rose from the table, 
 Tchitchikoff felt that he weighed a whole pood| more than usual. 
 They went into the drawing-room, where a dish of preserves 
 was already awaiting them — neither pears nor plums, however, 
 nor indeed any special sort of fruit — and which, by the way, 
 neither the host nor the guest touched. The hostess went out 
 in order to procure some other little dainties, and taking advan- 
 tage of her absence, Tchitchikoff turned to Sobakevitch, who 
 was leaning back in an arm-chair, feeling barely capable of 
 grunting after such a heavy meal, and merely emitting certain 
 unintelligible sounds, while he crossed himself and covered his 
 face every now and then with his hands. Tchitchikoff turned to 
 him with these words : "I should like to speak with you on a 
 matter of business." 
 
 " Here are some more preserves," at this moment said the 
 hostess, returning with a small plate ; " they are a good sort, 
 sweetened with honey." 
 
 " We'll attend to that later on," said Sobakevitch. " Go to 
 your room now : Pavel Ivanovitch and I are going to take off 
 our coats, and have a little rest." 
 
 The hostess expressed her desire to send for some feather- 
 
 * Sobakevitch' s own name is a derivative of sobaka, a dog. 
 t Pancakes with curds. 
 X Forty pounds.
 
 SOBAKEVITCH. 87 
 
 beds and pillows ; but her husband said, " We want nothing of 
 that; we will rest in the arm-chairs." So Mrs. Sobakevitch 
 withdrew. 
 
 Sobakevitch then bent his head slightly, preparatory to hear- 
 ing what the business might be. Tchitchikoff began in a very 
 distant way, touched upon the Russian Empire in general, and 
 expressed himself in very laudatory terms with regard to its 
 extent, saying that even the ancient Roman Empire had not been 
 so great, and that strangers rightly admired Muscovy. Sobake- 
 vitch listened to all this, and nodded, whereupon our hero added 
 that according to the existing laws of the empire, souls (serfs) 
 set down in the census lists, although they might have completed 
 their earthly career, were, nevertheless, still taxed just like the 
 living ones, pending the preparation of a new census list, 
 although, as an offset to that, the newly born were not 
 entered on the registers. Sobakevitch still listened and nodded, 
 and then Tchitchikoff added that despite all the justice of these 
 regulations, they were burdensome for some proprietors, since 
 they entailed upon them the necessity of paying taxes for dead 
 as well as for live serfs. He, Tchitchikoff, feeling great personal 
 regard for his friend Sobakevitch, was, however, prepared to 
 assume a portion of such really heavy obligations. With regard 
 to this principal point, our hero expressed himself very cau- 
 tiously : he made no dii'ect mention of dead souls, but merely 
 alluded to them as non-existent individuals. 
 
 Sobakevitch listened to all the talk as before, with his head 
 bent and hardly any expression whatever upon his countenance. 
 It seemed as though there were no soul at all in his body, or 
 that if there were one belonging to it, it was not in the place 
 where it should have been. As in the case of Koshtchei the 
 Deathless,* it was no doubt somewhere beyond the mountains. 
 
 " Well ? " said Tchitchikoff, pausing at last and awaiting a 
 reply, not without some emotion. 
 
 " You want some dead souls, eh ? " simply inquired Sobake- 
 vitch, without showing the slightest surprise, and as if the ques- 
 tion were one of selling grain or faggots. 
 
 " Yes," replied Tchitchikoff, and he again softened the ex- 
 pression by adding, " non-existent persons." 
 
 " They can be found : why not ? " said Sobakevitch. 
 
 " And if there are any in your village, then, no doubt you — 
 would be glad to get rid of them ? " 
 
 " I am ready to sell them, if you like," said Sobakevitch, 
 
 • A character in Eussian folk-lore.
 
 88 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 raising his head a little, and recognising the fact that this would- 
 be purchaser must in all probability find some profit in them — 
 though what it was he could hardly tell. 
 
 "Deuce take it ! " said Tchitchikofi" to himself; " this fellow 
 talks of selling before I have barely given a hint." And then he 
 remarked aloud, " And, at what price, for instance ? though, to 
 be sure, for such things as that, any discussion of price is rather 
 strange." 
 
 " Well, I will not demand too much of you : let us say a 
 hundred roubles a head," replied Sobakevitch. 
 
 "A hundred ! " exclaimed Tchitchikoflf, dropping his jaw, and 
 staring at his friend with all his eyes, not knowing whether he 
 had heard him correctly, or whether his tongue, which was 
 heavy by nature, had not turned the wrong way, and let slip 
 one word instead of another. 
 
 " What, is that too high for you ? " ejaculated Sobakevitch ; 
 and he added, "Well, what would be your price ? " 
 
 " My price ! We have probably made some mistake, or else 
 we don't understand each other, and have forgotten the main 
 point of this business. For my part, I place my hand on my 
 heart, and suggest that eighty copecks apiece would be a very 
 handsome sum." 
 
 " The idea ! eighty copecks ! " 
 
 " Well, in my judgment, it is impossible to offer more." 
 
 "But I am not selling shoes." 
 
 " Well, you must acknowledge yourself that you are not sell- 
 ing men either," 
 
 ' "And so you think that you have found a fool, who will sell 
 you a duly registered soul for eighty copecks ? " 
 
 " But permit me. Surely those serfs died long ago, and all 
 that remains of them is merely a name, barely perceptible to the 
 senses. However, not to enter into further discussion on this 
 point, I will give you a rouble and a half, if you like, but I 
 cannot give more." 
 
 " You ought to be ashamed to mention such a sum ! You 
 are haggling: state a real price." 
 
 " I cannot go beyond that, Mikhail Semenovitch, believe me; 
 on my conscience, I cannot: what cannot be done cannot be," 
 said TchitchikoflT, However, he added another half-rouble. 
 
 "Now, why are you so niggardly?" said Sobakevitch: 
 " really that isn't dear ! Some other scoundrel will deceive 
 you and sell you rubbish, and not real dead souls ; but mine are 
 as sound as nuts, picked articles : there's no better artisan than a 
 healthy moujik. Just consider the matter : here's Mikhyeeff,
 
 SOBAKEVITCH. 89 
 
 the carriage-builder ! Why, no better equipages are made than 
 those he builds. And his work's not like Moscow work, made 
 merely to last an hour ; such durability ! And he pads his 
 carriages, and varnishes them so beautifully too ! " 
 
 Tchitchikoff opened his mouth to remarK that Mikhyeeff had 
 left the world a long while ago : but Sobakevitch had warmed 
 up to his subject, as the saying runs, and he went on speaking 
 as follows : — 
 
 "And Probka Stepan, the carpenter! I'll wager my head 
 that you won't find another such moujik anywhere. What a 
 stout fellow he was, to be sure ! God knows what the autho- 
 rities would have given to have him serve in the Guards : he 
 was three arshins and a vershok in height."* 
 
 Again Tchitchikofi' felt inclined to remark that Probka had not 
 been in the world for a long time ; but Sobakevitch had evi- 
 dently got well started, and such a flood of speech poured forth 
 from his mouth that our friend was constrained to listen. 
 
 " Milushkin, the brickmaker, too ; he could set up an oven in 
 any house whatever. Maksim Telyatnikofi", the cobbler : what 
 ever he pricked mth his awl became a boot at once ; and as for 
 his boots, they were wonderful. Besides which he was always 
 as sober as a judge. And Yeremei Sorokoplekhin ! Now that 
 moujik was worth a fortune ; he traded at Moscow, and he 
 alone paid obrok f to the amount of five hundred roubles a 
 year. What a set of people to be sure ! Mine are not at all- 
 the sort of dead souls that some Pliushkin or other would sell 
 you." 
 
 " But permit me," said Tchitchikoff at last, astounded by such 
 a copious flood of words, to which there was apparently no end ; 
 " why do you enumerate all these men's qualities ? Surely, that 
 does not concern us now, since they are all dead. A dead body 
 is only good to prop up a fence with, says the proverb." 
 
 "Yes, certainly, they are dead," said Sobakevitch, as though 
 considering the subject, and recalling the fact that they really 
 were defunct; and then he added, "Well, what's the use of 
 talking about these men, although they are still reckoned as 
 alive ? What sort of men are those who are still alive ? Flies, 
 and not men at all ! " 
 
 " But they do still exist, whereas the dead ones are merely 
 visionary." 
 
 * An arshin is 28 inches; a rershok is If inch: consequently Probka 
 [cork) Stepan was 7 feet 1| inch high. 
 
 t Obrok, a tax which was paid in lieu of personal labour on the estate, 
 by serfs who were allowed to exercise their callings in the towns.
 
 90 Dead souls. 
 
 " Well, no, they are not visionary. I tell you that you won't 
 even find any such men as Mikhyeeff : such a machinist as he 
 was will never set foot in this room again. No, that's no vision. 
 And there was more strength in his big shoulders than in any 
 horse. Where, I should like to know, could you find such a 
 vision ? " 
 
 " Well, I cannot give more than two roubles apiece," said 
 Tchitchikoff". 
 
 "No, no ; but in order that you may not pretend that I am 
 asking a high price, and won't make you any concessions, I will 
 say seventy-five roubles a soul : only it must be in bank-notes 
 — and that's really only for acquaintance' sake." 
 
 "Well, what can he think? " said Tchitchikoff to himself: 
 "does he take me for a fool?" and then he added aloud, 
 " Keally, you surprise me ; there seems to be some theatrical 
 performance or comedy going on between us : otherwise I can- 
 not understand it. You seem to be a sensible man. You have 
 all the marks of possessing a cultivated mind. Surely these are 
 paltry goods — fu ! fu ! What are they worth ? What are they 
 good for ? " 
 
 " Well, but you are buying them : they must be of some use 
 to you." 
 
 Here Tchitchikoff bit his lips, and felt at a loss for an answer. 
 He began to talk about some family affairs, but Sobakevitch 
 simply replied : — 
 
 " I do not require to know what your connections are : I do 
 not meddle in family matters, that is your own affair. You 
 need the souls, and I will sell them to you, and perhaps you 
 will regret not having bought them. 
 
 " Two roubles," said Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " So you are like Yakov's magpie, who repeated the same 
 thing on every occasion, as the proverb says. Give something 
 like what they are worth." 
 
 " Well, may the deuce take him ! " said Tchitchikoff to him- 
 self. " I'll add half a rouble, as a sop ! — I will add half a rouble, 
 if you like." 
 
 " Well, and if you like, I'll say my last word to you : fifty 
 roubles. Truly, it's a loss to me, and you can't purchase such 
 fine people anywhere so cheap ! " 
 
 " What a hard-headed beast ! " said Tchitchikoff to himself; 
 and then he continued aloud with some vexation, " Yes : what's 
 the use of discussing it after all, just as though it were a 
 serious affair, when I can get them elsewhere, for nothing, too. 
 So far every one has gladly handed them over to me, simply for
 
 SOBAKEVITCH. 91 
 
 the sake of getting rid of them as speedily as possible. The man 
 who holds on to them and pays taxes on them is a fool ! " 
 
 "But do you know," replied Sobakevitch, " that this sort of 
 purchase — I say this strictly between ourselves, and out of 
 friendship — is not always legal, and if I were to report it, or if 
 any one else were to do so, the party concerned would never 
 have any credit in the matter of contracts, or if he wished to 
 enter into any profitable connections ? " 
 
 "So that's what you are aiming at, you sly scoundrel!" 
 thought Tchitchikoflf, and he immediately remarked with the 
 most nonchalant air, "As you please. I am buying them, not 
 from any necessity, as you imagine, but because my own views 
 incline me to do so. If you won't take two roubles and a half, 
 then good-day to you." 
 
 " I can't put him out : he won't give way," thought Sobake- 
 vitch. " Well, God be with you ! give me thirty, and take 
 them." 
 
 "No; I see that you do not wish to sell them, so farewell." 
 
 " Permit me ! permit me ! " said Sobakevitch, holding Tchit- 
 chikoffs hand, and treading on his foot, for our hero had for- 
 gotten to guard himself; realising this, the host gave a hiss, 
 and then jumped upon our friend's other foot. 
 
 "I beg your pardon!" he said, "I seem to have incon- 
 venienced you. Please to sit down here : pray do ! " Then 
 he seated Tchitchikofi" in the chair, rather skilfully than other- 
 wise, like a bear who has been tamed, and who knows how to 
 twirl himself about, and to perform tricks when asked, " Show 
 us how women bathe, Misha ! " or, " How do little children 
 steal peas, Misha ? " 
 
 " Really, I am wasting time : I must make haste," replied our 
 hero." 
 
 " Sit still a little minute, and I will say something presently 
 which will please you." Here Sobakevitch moved nearer to 
 him, and said softly in his ear, as though it were a secret, " Will 
 you give — a corner ? "'■' 
 
 " That is to say, twenty-five roubles ? Ni, ni, ni ! I won't 
 give even the quarter of a corner : I won't add a copeck more I " 
 
 Sobakevitch now said nothing : Tchitchikoflf also held his 
 peace. The Greek heroes, with their aquiline noses, gazed down 
 from the wall upon this barter, with great attention. 
 
 " What is your final price ? " asked Sobakevitch at last. 
 
 " Two and a half." 
 
 * In card-playing, one-fourth of the stake, which is indicated by turn- 
 ing down the corner of the card.
 
 92 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " Keally, a human soul is the same to you as boiled beet- 
 root. Won't you give three roubles ? " 
 
 " I cannot." 
 
 " Well, there's nothing to be done with you : have it as you 
 like. It's a loss to me, but I have a dog's nature : I cannot 
 refrain from doing my neighbour a kindness. I suppose I shall 
 have to prepare a deed of sale, so that all may be in proper 
 form ? " 
 
 " Of course." 
 
 " Well, then, here's another point : I shall have to go to 
 town." 
 
 Thus the transaction was completed. They both decided to 
 visit the town on the following day and draw up the deed of sale. 
 Tchitchikoflf then asked for a list of the peasants. Sobakevitch 
 readily agreed to give one, and immediately stepped up to his 
 desk and began to write down the list, not only giving the 
 serfs' names, but duly indicating their admirable qualities. 
 
 " The list is ready at last," he eventually said, turning round. 
 
 "Ready? Please bring it here." Tchitchikoff ran it over, 
 and was amazed by its accuracy and punctiliousness. Not only 
 were the professions circumstantially described, the names, ages, 
 and conditions of the various serfs, but on the margins there 
 were notes respecting their behaviour and sobriety ; in a word, 
 it was a pleasure to look at the list. 
 
 " Now, please to give me the earnest-money," said Sobake- 
 vitch. 
 
 "Why should you receive earneat-money ? You will receive 
 all the money at once, in town." 
 
 " Well, you know that earnest-money is customary," rejoined 
 Sobakevitch. 
 
 " I do not know how I can give you any, for I have brought 
 no money with me. Yes, here are ten roubles." 
 
 " Ten roubles, indeed ! Give me fifty at least ! " 
 
 Tchitchikoff again denied that he had any money with him ; 
 but Sobakevitch asserted so positively that he must have some, 
 that he drew out another bank-note, saying, " Here are fifteen 
 more, if you like, and that will make twenty-five. Only please 
 to hand me a receipt." 
 
 " What do you want with a receipt? " 
 
 " It is always better to have a receipt, you know. Circum- 
 stances may change — all sorts of things may happen." 
 
 " Very good : give me the money, then." 
 
 " But why give you the money ? Here it is in my hand : as 
 soon as you have written the receipt, you shall have it."
 
 SOBAKEVITCH. 93 
 
 " But, pray, how am I to write out a receipt ? I must see the 
 money first." 
 
 Tchitchijiofi' relinquished the notes he held to Sobakevitch, 
 who, approaching the table, and covering them with his left 
 band, wrote upon a scrap of paper that he had received twenty- 
 five roubles in imperial bank-notes, as earnest-money for various 
 serfs he had sold. After writing the receipt he looked over the 
 notes again. 
 
 " The notes are rather old," he remarked, examining one of 
 them at the light, " and somewhat torn, but, between friends, 
 such things must not be considered." 
 
 "Close-fisted, close-fisted!" said Tchitchikoflf to himself, 
 " and a beast into the bargain ! " 
 
 " You don't want any female serfs, eh ? " asked Sobakevitch. 
 
 " No, thank you." 
 
 "I could sell some cheap. At a rouble apiece, for old 
 acquaintance' sake." 
 
 " No : I have no use for women." 
 
 " Well, if you have no use for them, it is useless to talk about 
 them. Taste knows no law. ' One man loves the pope, and 
 another the pope's wife,' says the proverb." 
 
 "I should also like to request that this transaction may 
 remain a secret between us," said Tchitchikofi", as he took 
 leave. 
 
 " That is a matter of course. A third person has no business 
 to interfere. What takes place between two intimate friends 
 should be confided to their mutual friendship alone. Farewell ! 
 I thank you for having visited me. I trust that you will not 
 forget me in the future : if you have a little leisure time, come 
 and dine with me ; spend a day here. Perhaps we may be able 
 to render each other some further service." 
 
 " That's hardly likely ! " said Tchitchikofi" to himself, as he 
 seated himself in his britcbka. " That close-fisted devil has 
 squeezed two roubles and a half out of me for each dead soul !" 
 
 He was dissatisfied with Sobakevitch's conduct. Although 
 they had met at the governor's and the chief of police's, he had 
 behaved like a perfect stranger, — he had exacted money for 
 rubbish. When the britchka drove out of the yard, Tchitchikofi" 
 glanced back, and perceived that Sobakevitch was still standing 
 upon the threshold, apparently watching his visitor to see where 
 he was going. 
 
 " The sly villain, he's still standing there ! " he muttered 
 between his teeth ; and, after turning towards the peasant's 
 huts, he ordered Selifan to drive ofi" in such a manner that the
 
 94 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 equipage could not be seen from the house. He wanted to 
 visit Pliushkin, whose people, according to Sobakevitch's 
 account, died like flies, but he did not wish Sobakevitch to 
 know it. When the britchka reached the farther end of the 
 village, he called to the first moujik he met, a fellow who had 
 picked up a thick beam somewhere on the road, and who was 
 dragging it home to his hut on his shoulder, like an indefatigable 
 ant. 
 
 " Hey, there, beard ! How do you get to Pliushkin's from 
 here, without having to pass your master's house ? " 
 
 This question seemed to perplex the moujik. 
 
 " Don't you know ? " , 
 
 " No, master, I don't know." 
 
 " you fool ! and you've got gray hair, too ! Don't you know 
 that miser Pliushkin, the man who feeds his people so badly ?" 
 
 " Ah ! the ragged man with patched clothes !" exclaimed the 
 moujik. " Take that path there, and turn to the right a hundred 
 paces off. Then you will only have to drive straight on." 
 
 Thereupon the britchka rolled rapidly away. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 PLIUSHKIN. 
 
 While Tchitchikoff was still meditating over the nickname of 
 '* ragged man " bestowed by the moujik upon Pliushkin, he did 
 not observe that he had arrived in the middle of an extensive 
 village, with a multitude of izbas and streets. But he was 
 soon forced to take notice of the fact by a tolerably severe 
 jolting over the timber-laid road, beside which the stone- 
 paved street of a city is nothing. These planks moved, now 
 up, now down, like the keys of a pianoforte ; and an incautious 
 rider received either a slap on the nape of the neck, or a blow 
 on his brow, or was even made to bite the tip of his tongue 
 with his own teeth in a very painful manner. Tchitchikoff 
 observed a certain peculiar antiquity in all the village structures. 
 The timber walls of the izbas were dark and old : many of the 
 roofs were so full of holes that they looked like gratings ; on 
 some merely the ridge-pole and the side-rafters remained, in the 
 form of ribs. It seemed as though the owners themselves had 
 torn off the shingles and boards, arguing, and with justice, that
 
 PLIUSHKIN. 95 
 
 badly built izbas are not good shelter-places during rain, and 
 that in fine weather the water does not come through ; besides 
 it is no use making a fuss about it, as there is all out-doors and 
 the drinking- shops at one's disposal, and one can go where one 
 likes on the highway. There was no glass in the windows of 
 the little cabins ; some were stufi'ed with rags, or women's petti- 
 coats ; the little railed balconies, which for an unknown reason 
 are built just under the roof on some Russian izbas, were all 
 awry, and blackened even to an unpicturesque degree. Behind 
 the izbas, in many places, stretched huge stacks of grain in rows, 
 and behind the stacks and the ancient izba roofs two village 
 churches rose up into the clear air, peeping forth, now on the 
 right hand, now on the left, as the britchka took different turns ; 
 they stood beside each other, one built of wood, and in ruins ; 
 and the other of stone, with yellow walls, all spotted and cracked. 
 Pliushkin's house began to appear at intervals, and at last it 
 came fully into sight just as the last izbas were passed, and 
 when there appeared a desolate vegetable garden or cabbage 
 plantation, surrounded by a low, and in some places dilapidated 
 fence. This strange dwelling-place, which was very long, had a 
 decrepit look. In some places it was one storey high, in others 
 two ; upon its dark roof, which did not, in many parts, afford 
 adequate protection from the weather, on account of its age, 
 there towered two belvederes, one facing the other, both already 
 tottering, and destitute of any trace of paint. The walls of the 
 house presented naked lattice-work in lieu of plaster to view in 
 various spots, and they had evidently been subjected to all sorts 
 of inclement weather — rain, whirlwinds, and autumnal changes. 
 Only two of the windows were open : the rest were closed with 
 shutters, or simply barricaded with boards. And even these 
 two windows were damaged : one of them being darkened by a 
 triangular piece of blue sugar-paper pasted over it. 
 
 The old and spacious garden, which stretched away behind 
 the house, running towards the village, and then merging into 
 a meadow, seemed to be the only fresh spot about the place, and 
 formed the only picturesque feature in the desolate landscape. 
 The crests of the trees, which had grown at then* own will, rose 
 up against the horizon in verdant clumps and quivering domes 
 of foliage. The colossal white bole of a beech tree, deprived of 
 its leafy head, which had been broken off by a gale of wind or 
 a thunderstorm, rose from the midst of this green thicket, look- 
 ing like a symmetrical column of gleaming white marble against 
 the sky : the slanting, sharply-pointed fracture with which it 
 ended above, instead of there being a capital, appeared dark
 
 96 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 above the snowy whiteness of the trunk. The hop-plants, which 
 had stifled the lilacs, mountain-ashes, and hazel-bushes climb- 
 ing to the top of the fence, also threatened to envelop the shat- 
 tered beech-tree. They had grown half-way up the trunk and 
 then descended, catching in other trees, and in places hanging in 
 the air, knotting their slender clinging tendrils into rings, which 
 swayed gently in the breeze. The green grove, illumined by 
 the sun, parted here and there, disclosing unlighted depths 
 within it, looking like the dark throats of wild beasts. It was all 
 enveloped in gloom, and in its dark recesses there stood forth 
 here and there, beside a narrow winding path, some rickety 
 arbour surrounded by a railing, with the decayed and hollow 
 trunk of a willow tree, a gray Siberian acacia, and some brush- 
 wood, which was all tangled and interlaced. A young maple-bough 
 too, had stretched forth its green leaves, beneath one of which 
 a sun-ray had crept, God alone knows how, suddenly rendering 
 it fiery, transparent, and wondrously gleaming amid that thick 
 darkness. On one side, at the very edge of the garden, some 
 lofty ash-trees bore the huge nests of crows aloft on their 
 quivering crests. On some of them, boughs which had been 
 half torn away drooped downward, laden with dry leaves. In 
 a word, the scene was beautiful as neither art nor nature alone 
 can invent, but as is only possible when they are both combined, 
 when nature gives the finishing touch with her chisel to the 
 often senseless work of man, lightening the heavy masses, de- 
 molishing all the coarsely conceived regularity and poverty of 
 outline, and casting a wondrous warmth over all which has 
 been planned in cold, measured purity and faultlessness. 
 
 After making one or two turns, our hero at length found him- 
 self in front of the house, which now appeared even more 
 gloomy than before. The ancient wood fence and gates were 
 already covered with green slime. A cluster of buildings — 
 servants' apartments, storehouses, cellars, evidently falling into 
 decay — stretched on one side of the yard; beside them, to right 
 and left, the gates of other courtyards were visible. Every- 
 thing here announced that things had been conducted on a 
 grand scale in former times. 
 
 Nothing was visible which could enliven the picture — no doors 
 flying open, no crowd of people going in or out, no bustle of the 
 living nor solicitude for the house. The great gates alone were 
 open, and that because a moujik had entered with a laden telyega 
 covered with a mat. However, Tchitchikofi" soon perceived a 
 person who began to quarrel with the moujik who had brought
 
 PLItJSHKIN. 97 
 
 this tely^ga. For a long time he could not make out to what 
 sex this person belonged — whether it was a man or a woman. 
 The garb this person wore greatly resembled a woman's cloak, 
 but the voice seemed rather hoarse for a woman's. "It must, 
 however, be a woman," said Tchitchikotf to himself, but imme- 
 diately afterwards he added, " Oh, no ! " " But of course it is 
 a woman ! " he said at last, after a more searching gaze. The 
 person, meanwhile, stared fixedly at him, as if a visitor was a 
 rarity there. Seeing the keys which hung from this person's 
 belt, and hearing the very abusive words which were being 
 addressed to the moujik, Tchitchikoff inferred that the wearer 
 of the cloak was probably the housekeeper. 
 
 " Listen, my good woman," he said, descending from his 
 britchka ; " does your master — ■ ? " 
 
 " Not at home," interrupted the housekeeper, without wait- 
 ing for him to finish his query ; and then, after a momentary 
 pause, she added, " What do you want? " 
 
 " I have some business to transact with him." 
 
 " Go into the room, there, then," said the housekeeper, open- 
 ing the door, and showing him her back all spotted over with 
 floui", and a large rent in her cloak. Our hero then entered a 
 dark but spacious vestibule, whence the cold air poured out as 
 though from a cellar. From the vestibule he reached a room 
 which was also dark, being only Ughted by a gleam which came 
 through a wide crack under the door. On opening this door he 
 found himself at last iu the light, and was very much astonished 
 at the disorder which he beheld before him. It seemed as if 
 the floors were being washed, and as if all the house furniture 
 had been temporarily piled up here. A broken chair was even 
 standing on one table, and, beside it was a clock of which the 
 pendulum had stopped, and to this a spider had attached its 
 web. There also stood a sideboard filled with ancient silver, 
 decanters, and Chinese porcelain. Upon a desk, inlaid with 
 mother-of-pearl, which had already fallen out in pieces, leaving 
 behind it empty yellowish holes filled with glue, lay all sorts of 
 things : a pile of documents, covered with a marble paper- 
 weight which had turned green ; an ancient book in a leather 
 binding, with red edges ; a lemon, completely dried up, and no 
 larger than a broken walnut-wood knob from an arm-chair ; 
 a wineglass covered with a letter, and containing some sort of 
 liquid and three flies ; a bit of sealing-wax ; a scrap of rag, 
 which had been picked up somewhere ; two ink-stained pens, 
 dried up and looking as though they were in a consumption ; 
 together with a toothpick, which was quite yellow, and with 
 
 Q
 
 98 DEAB SOULS. 
 
 •wHch the owner had probably cleansed his teeth prior to the 
 arrival of the French in Moscow. 
 
 Upon the walls several pictures were suspended close to- 
 gether, and without any attempt at arrangement ; there was a 
 long, yellow engraving of some battle, with huge drums, shout- 
 ing soldiers, three-cornered hats, and prancing horses. This 
 lacked a glass, and was mounted in a dilapidated mahogany 
 frame. On a line with this a huge oil painting, which repre- 
 sented some flowers and fruits, with a boar's head, and a duck 
 hanging head downwards, monopolised half the wall. From the 
 middle of the ceiling hung a chandelier enveloped in a linen bag, 
 to which the accumulated dust gave the aspect of a silk- 
 worm's cocoon with the worm in it; and in one corner of the room 
 various things not worthy to lie upon the table were piled 
 up in a heap. It would have been impossible to affirm that a 
 living being inhabited this apartment, had not an ancient, 
 threadbare nightcap, which lay upon the table, borne witness to 
 the fact. While Tchitchikoft' was still engaged in surveying 
 the place, a side-door opened, and the same housekeeper whom 
 he had encountered in the yard entered the room. But he now 
 became aware that this person was rather a steward than a house- 
 keeper ; a housekeeper, at all events, does not shave, whereas 
 this person, on the contrary, shaved every now and then, for 
 his chin and all the lower portion of his cheeks resembled one 
 of those currycombs made of iron wire, with which horses are 
 cleaned down in the stable. Tchitchikoff, imparting an inquir- 
 ing expression to his countenance, waited impatiently to hear 
 what the steward would say to him. The steward, on his side, 
 waited for Tchitchikofl" to speak. At length, our hero, surprised 
 by such strange indecision, made up his mind to inquire, — 
 
 " "Where is your master ? Is he at home ? " 
 
 "Yes, he is here," said the steward. 
 
 " Where ? " repeated Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " What, my good fellow, are you blind ? " said the steward. 
 " At home, indeed ! I am the master ! " 
 
 Here our hero involuntarily stepped back, and looked more 
 attentively at this person. It had been his lot to see many sorts 
 of people — even people such as the author and the reader have 
 never beheld — but such an individual as this one he had never 
 yet looked upon. His face was like that of many gaunt old 
 men, only his chin projected so much that every time he wanted 
 to spit he had to cover it with his handkerchief, in order not to 
 spit upon it ; his small eyes were still bright, and they darted 
 about beneath his lofty, bushy brows like mice when they
 
 PLIUSHKIN. 99 
 
 thrust their pointed noses out of their dark holes, prick up their 
 ears, and peer about to see whether a cat, or some scamp of a 
 boy, is not hidden somewhere. His attire was even more 
 worthy of remark. It was difficult to tell of what material his 
 dressing-gown was made ; the sleeves and the upper portions of 
 the sku'ts were greasy and shiny to such a degree that they 
 resembled the Russia leather of which boots are made ; behind 
 there were four tails instead of two, from between which pro- 
 truded some checked cotton. Something, also impossible to 
 distinguish, either a stocking or a belt, but certainly not a 
 neckerchief, was knotted about his neck. In short, if Tchitchi- 
 koft" had encountered this landowner, thus arrayed, at the door 
 of a church, he would probably have bestowed a copper 
 groschen upon him ; for it must be stated, to our hero's credit, 
 that he had a compassionate heart, and could not refrain from 
 giving a copper groschen to a poor man. 
 
 However, it was not a beggar, but a landowner, who stood 
 before him. This proprietor possessed over a thousand souls : 
 and one might have searched a long while for a person having 
 so much wheat, flour, and so forth, in his storehouse, or pos- 
 sessing so many storerooms, barns, and drying-houses, filled 
 with sheepskins, both dressed and tanned ; and having such 
 quantities of linen, cloth, dried fish, and dried vegetables at his 
 disposal. If any one had peeped in upon him in his yard, where 
 stores of wood and utensils were accumulated, it would have 
 seemed to him that he had, by some means, come upon the 
 " shavings market " at Moscow, where wooden vessels are sold, 
 and where clever mothers-in-law betake themselves daily, fol- 
 lowed by their cooks, to purchase household requisites. At 
 Pliushkin's one found every sort of article in wood, turned, 
 fitted together, and plaited, — casks, half-casks, buckets with 
 handles and without handles, tar-barrels, the tubs in which 
 women soak flax and dirty clothes ; baskets, made of thin strips 
 of ash ; oval boxes of plaited birch-bark, with wooden bottoms 
 and covers ; and many other things of various sorts which are 
 of service to the Russians both rich and poor. 
 
 But what was the use of all these things to Pliushkin ? Two 
 such estates as his could not have used them up in a lifetime, 
 though that seemed to make no difference to him. Not content 
 with what he had, he rambled about the streets of his village, 
 peering beneath the bridges and the planks thrown across 
 the gutters, and everything he came across, whether it was the 
 old solo of a shoe, a woman's discarded rag, an iron nail, or a 
 piece of a broken earthenware pot, he carried it all home with
 
 100 DEA.T) SOULS. 
 
 him, and threw it upon the heap which Tchltchikoff had observed 
 in the corner of the room. " There's the old fisherman out on 
 his ramble," the moujiks would say, when they spied him search- 
 ing after his booty. And, in fact, there was no need of sweeping 
 the streets after he had gone on his rounds ; if a passing officer 
 chanced to lose a spur, the spur was forthwith transferred to 
 the familiar heap ; if a woman gaped over the well, and forgot 
 her pail, Pliushkin carried off" the pail. However, whenever a 
 moujik caught him in the act, he never disputed, but immediately 
 surrendered the stolen article ; though if it once fell upon his 
 heap, that was the end of it : he swore that it was his own, 
 that he had bought it at such and such a time, of such or such 
 a person, or that he had inherited it from his grandfather. In 
 his own room he picked up everything he saw — a bit of sealing- 
 wax, a scrap of paper, or a tiny feather — and stuffed everything 
 away in his desk, or on the window-ledge. 
 
 Of course, there had been a time when he had simply been a 
 careful manager, when he had been a married family man, and 
 when his neighbours had been in the habit of coming to dine 
 with him, and listening to him, and taking lessons from him in 
 wise economy. Everything then went on briskly : grain-mills 
 and fulling-mills were in operation, cloth-mills were running, car- 
 penters' shops and spinning-rooms were at work ; the searching 
 glance of the master penetrated everywhere and into everything ; 
 and carefully, but assiduously, like an industrious spider, did 
 he run about attending to domestic matters. In those times 
 his courteous and talkative wife was renowned for her hospi- 
 tality ; two charming daughters, both fan- and as fresh as roses, 
 came to greet the guests : the son, a fine, vivacious little boy, 
 ran out and kissed everybody. All the windows in the house 
 were open then : there was a French tutor, who was a great 
 sportsman, and who was always bringing home partridges or 
 ducks for dinner. And there was also a governess for the little 
 girls. But the good housewife died. Pliushkin became restless, 
 and, like all widowers, suspicious and saving. He did not place 
 full confidence in his eldest daughter, Alexandra Stepanovna, 
 and he was right ; for Alexandra Stepanovna soon eloped with a 
 staff-captain, belonging to God knows what regiment of cavalry, 
 and she married him in haste in some village church, although 
 she knew that her father did not like ofiicers, on account of a 
 strange, prejudiced belief of long standing, that they were all 
 gamblers and spendthrifts. Her father sent his curse after her, 
 and then the house grew more desolate, its owner became more 
 and more miserly. The French tutor was dismissed, because
 
 PLIUSHKIN. 101 
 
 the time had arrived for the son to enter the civil service ; the 
 governess was sent about her business, because it appeared that 
 she was not free from guilt in the matter of Alexandra Stepan- 
 ovna's elopement ; the son, on being despatched to the chief 
 town of the government, in order to learn official routine, accord- 
 ing to his father's wish, enlisted in a regiment instead, and wrote 
 to his father immediately afterwards, asking for some money. 
 Very naturally, he received in reply what the common people 
 call a shish.* Finally, the last daughter, who had remained at 
 home with the father, died, and the old man found himself the 
 sole guardian, protector, and owner of his wealth. 
 
 His lonely life then made him yet more miserly, and as 
 though for the express purpose of confirming him in his opinion 
 of military men, his son ruined himself at cards : he sent him a 
 hearty paternal curse, and never troubled himself afterwards to 
 inquire whether he still existed in the world or not. More 
 windows were shut up every year in the house, until at last 
 only two remained to admit any light, one of which, as the 
 reader has already seen, was pasted up with blue paper. As 
 time went on he paid less and less attention to domestic manage- 
 ment, busying himself more about the scraps of paper and feathers 
 which he collected in his room ; he became more and more crusty 
 "with the people who came to buy the products of his estate ; the 
 dealers grew disgusted with him, and finally abandoned him 
 altogether, saying that he was a devil, and not a man ; his hay 
 and grain rotted ; his ricks and stores of all sorts turned into 
 manure, pure and simple, so that cabbages might have been 
 grown upon them ; the flour in his vaults turned to stone, and 
 had to be chopped up : it was terrible to touch the linen, the 
 cloth, and other materials of domestic manufacture ; they turned 
 to dust under the hand. He himself had already forgotten what 
 he possessed of any given article. He only remembered the 
 sideboard which contained his decanters of brandy, upon which 
 he had made a mark, in order that no one might thievishly drink 
 the liquor. Meanwhile, however, the revenues of the estate were 
 collected as before : the moujiks had to bring as much obrok as 
 usual, the same tribute of nuts was imposed upon every housewife, 
 and the weaving women were obliged to furnish the same number 
 of webs of linen. Everything finally was piled away in the 
 storerooms and rotted, and he himself became at last scarcely 
 human. His daughter, Alexandra Stepanovna, came a couple of 
 times with her little son, to try whether she could not obtain 
 
 * Literally, an insulting sign, made with the fingers, and what English 
 children call a long nose.
 
 102 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 something : it was evident that a wandering life with a cavalry- 
 captain was not so attractive as it had appeared before marriage. 
 However, Pliushkin forgave her, and allowed the little boy to 
 play with a button which was lying on the table, but he gave 
 her no money. On another occasion, Alexandra Stepanovna 
 came with two children, and brought her father an Easter-cake 
 to eat with his tea, and also a new dressing-gown ; for the one 
 which he was wearing was in such a state that it made her 
 both confused and ashamed to look at it. Pliushkin caressed 
 both of his grandchildren, and placing them, one on his right 
 knee and the other on his left, he trotted them exactly as though 
 they had been riding on horses ; he also accepted the Easter- 
 cake and the dressing-gown, but he gave his daughter absolutely 
 nothing, whereupon Alexandra Stepanovna took her departure. 
 
 But we must return to our hero. Pliushkin had been stand- 
 ing in front of him for several minutes without uttering a word ; 
 and Tchitchikoflf was still utterly incapable of beginning the con- 
 versation, distracted as he was by the sight of the master him- 
 self, as well as by all that was in the room. For a long time he 
 could not think how to explain the reason of his visit. He was 
 on the point of expressing himself to the effect that, having 
 heard of Pliushkin as a public benefactor, he had considered it 
 his duty to pay him a personal tribute of respect ; but he felt 
 that that would be too much. On casting one more stealthy 
 glance on all that was in the room, he became conscious that the 
 expression public benefactor might be successfully replaced by 
 the words economy and order : so, having reconstructed his sen- 
 tence on that pattern, he said that, having heard of his economy 
 and rare skill in managing his estate, he had regarded it as his 
 duty to make his acquaintance and offer his respects in person. 
 He certainly might have alleged some other and better reason, 
 but none occurred to him. 
 
 To this, Pliushkin mumbled some reply between his lips, for 
 he had no teeth. What it was exactly is not known, but in all 
 probability, the sense was as follows : " May the deuce take you 
 and your respects ! " However, since hospitality is in such 
 repute all over Russia that even a miser cannot ignore its laws, 
 he added a little more distinctly, " I beg you most humbly to 
 take a seat, I have not been in the habit of receiving guests for 
 a long time, and I must confess that I perceive but very little 
 use in them. A strange custom has sprung up, of going about 
 to visit people's estates to the neglect of domestic affairs. How- 
 ever, I can't offer you anything, for I dined long ago : and my 
 kitchen is very mean and poor, and the chimneys are in a state
 
 PLIUSHKIN. 103 
 
 of utter ruin ; if you try to heat the stove, you will certainly set 
 the house on fire." 
 
 ♦' So that's the kind of man he is ! '" said Tchitchikoff to him- 
 self. " It's lucky that I dined at Sobakevitch's, and tucked 
 into that breast of mutton." 
 
 "And it is a most unfortunate circumstance but there is 
 hardly a wisp of hay for your horses in the whole establish- 
 ment," proceeded Pliushkin. " Yes, and where is there any to 
 be had ? The farm is small and barren : the peasants are lazy ; 
 they are not fond of working ; they only think of getting away 
 to the pot-house. As you know, people are thrown on the 
 world in their old age." 
 
 " But I was told," said Tchitchikoff modestly, " that you had 
 over a thousand souls." 
 
 " Why ! who said that ? My good fellow, you should have 
 spit in the eye of the person who told you that ! He was a 
 jester: he evidently wanted to make fun of you. That is the 
 way people talk ; but for the last three years a cursed fever has 
 been killing off my serfs in swarms." 
 
 " You don't say so! And have many really died ? " exclaimed 
 Tchitchikoff sympathetically. 
 
 '' Yes ; a great many have been carried off." 
 
 " Will you permit me to inquire the number ? " 
 
 " Fully eighty souls." 
 
 "No, really ? " 
 
 " I am not in the habit of lying, my good fellow.'' 
 
 " Permit me to ask another question : I assume that you 
 are reckoning these souls from the time when the last census 
 was taken ? " 
 
 " Glory to God if it were only that ! " said Pliushkin ; " but 
 since the last census I must have lost fully one hundred and 
 twenty souls." 
 
 " Really ? fully one hundred and twenty ? " exclaimed Tchit- 
 chikoff, and he even dropped his jaw somewhat with amazement. 
 
 " I am rather old to lie, my good fellow : I have lived seventy 
 years," said Pliushkin, who seemed to have taken offence at our 
 hero's almost joyous exclamation. 
 
 Tchitchikoff perceived that such a want of sympathy in 
 another's woe had I'eally been extremely impolite ; so he imme- 
 diately sighed, and said that he felt very sorry. 
 
 " Yes, but your sorrow won't put anything in my pocket," 
 said Pliushkin. " There's a captain who lives here near me — 
 the deuce knows where he came from, but he says that he's a rela- 
 tive. ' Dear uncle, dear uncle ! ' he cries, and he begins to kiss
 
 104 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 my hand, and to express his sorrow, and raises such a howl that 
 you have to hold your ears. He's very red iu the face, and he's 
 actually drinking himself to death on brandy. He probably lost 
 all his money while serving as an officer, or some actress 
 coaxed it out of him ; so now he comes here, and tries to 
 wheedle himself into my good graces ! " 
 
 Tchitchikoflf endeavoured to explain that his sympathy was of 
 a very different sort to that of the captain, and that he was 
 ready to prove it, not by empty words, but by deeds ; in fact, 
 without deferring the matter any further, he immediately ex- 
 pressed his willingness to take upon himself the responsibility of 
 paying the taxes for all the serfs who had died in such an unfor- 
 tunate manner. The proposition seemed to amaze Pliushkin. 
 He stared at TchitchikofF for a long time with his eyes wide- 
 open, and he finally inquired, " Haven't you been in the army, 
 my good fellow? " 
 
 " No," replied Tchitchikoff, with a good deal of artfulness: " I 
 was in the civil service." 
 
 " In the civil service ? " repeated Pliushkin, and he began to 
 work his lips about, as though he were chewing something. 
 " But what do you mean by this ? It is surely a loss to you." 
 
 " For your sake, I am even prepared to suffer loss." 
 
 " Ah, my dear fellow ! Ah, my benefactor ! " shrieked 
 Pliushkin, not perceiving, in his joy, that the snuff was drop- 
 ping from his nose in a very unpicturesque fashion, and that the 
 skirts of his dressing-gown, in flying apart, had displayed a very 
 impolite garment to view. " You have comforted an old man ! 
 Ah, my Lord! Ah, my Saviour!" Pliushkin could say no 
 more. But a minute had not elapsed, when the joy which had 
 momentarily shown itself on his countenance disappeared as 
 though it had not existed, and his face once more assumed a 
 careworn expression. He even wiped it with his handkerchief ; 
 and, rolling this into a ball, he began to draw it along his upper 
 
 *' With your permission, may I ask if you mean to undertake 
 paying the taxes for them every year ? and will you give the 
 money to me, or to the imperial treasury ? " 
 
 " This is the way we will manage : we will make out a deed 
 of sale for them, as though they were alive, and as though you 
 had sold them to me." 
 
 " Yes, a deed of sale," said Pliushkin, falling into thought, 
 and he again began to move his lips as before. " But a deed of 
 sale — it's nothing but an expense. - Those officials have no con- 
 sciences. In former days one used to pay half a rouble in
 
 PLIUSHKIN. 105 
 
 copper as tax for a sack of flour ; but now you have to send a 
 whole waggon-load of groats, and add a red bank-note into the 
 bargain — so gi-asping have they grown. I do not know why no 
 one else has called attention to that matter." 
 
 However, Tchitchikoff immediately remarked that he was 
 even prepared to bear the expenses of the deed of sale. 
 
 On hearing that he would pay that, Pliushkin concluded that 
 his visitor must be a thorough fool, and merely pretended that he 
 had been in the civil service, but had probably been an officer in- 
 stead, and had dallied with actresses. However, with all this, he 
 could not conceal his joy, but wished all sorts of happiness to 
 our hero, and to his children even, without waiting to in- 
 quire whether he had any or not. He went to the window, 
 drummed with his fingers on the glass, and cried, "Hey, 
 there, Proshka ! " 
 
 A moment later, someone could be heard running on tiptoe in 
 the vestibule, and rummaging about there for a long time. Finally 
 the door opened, and Proshka entered, a boy of thirteen, shod 
 in such huge boots that, as he stumbled along, he nearly drew 
 his feet out of them. It may be asked why Proshka had such 
 large boots. Well, for all his domestic servants, no matter how 
 many of them there were in the house, Pliushkin had but a 
 single pair of boots, which was always to be found in the vesti- 
 bule. Anyone who was summoned into the master's presence 
 generally ran across the yard barefooted ; but on entering the 
 vestibule he pulled on the boots, and, thus arrayed, made his 
 appearance in the room. On quitting the master's apartment, 
 he left the boots in the vestibule, and went his way again bare- 
 footed. If anyone had glanced out of the window in the 
 autumn, and especially when the first morning frosts were set- 
 ting in, he could have seen all the house-serfs taking such leaps 
 as are hardly made on the stage by the most accomplished 
 dancers. 
 
 " Look there, my good fellow, what a face ! " said Pliushkin 
 to Tchitchikoff, pointing at Proshka's countenance. " Stupid, 
 truly, like a block of wood ; but only try to lay anything down 
 for a minute, and he will steal it ! Well, what have you come 
 for, you fool — tell me, eh ? " Here a brief silence ensued. 
 
 " Bring the samovar, do you hear ? " added Pliushkin at last. 
 "And here, take this key, and give it to Mavra, so that she 
 may go to the storeroom. There, on the shelf, is the sugar oflf 
 the Easter-cake which Alexandra Stepanovna brought me — let 
 her bring it here for our tea. Stop ! where are you going, you 
 fool ? — yes, you utter fool ! Is the Fiend in your legs, busy
 
 106 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 scratching you ? Listen first. The upper part of the sugar is 
 probably spoilt, so let it be scraped off with a knife. And don't 
 you throw any of it away, but carry it to the fowl-house. And 
 see to it that you don't go into the storehouse, my boy. If 
 you do, do you know what will happen ? You will get a taste 
 of a birch rod, so that, if you have a capital appetite now, you'll 
 have a better one then. Just try to go into the storehouse! 
 I shall look out of the window in the meanwhile. He cannot 
 be trusted in anything," continued Pliushkin, turning to Tchit- 
 chikoff, after Proshka had taken himself off, in company with his 
 boots. 
 
 Then he began to gaze suspiciously at our friend. Such 
 remarkable magnanimity began to appear incredible to him ; and 
 he said to himself, " After all, the devil only knows, he may be 
 simply a braggart, like most spendthrifts ! He will lie and lie, 
 just for the sake of talking, and then he will go off! " As a 
 measure of precaution, therefore, and desirous of putting our 
 hero to a further test, he said that it would not be a bad idea to 
 draw up the deed of sale as speedily as possible : for one cannot 
 depend upon man, you know ; to-day he is alive, and to-morrow 
 God knows where. 
 
 Tchitchikoff expressed his readiness to do so on the instant, 
 and merely required the list of serfs. This reassured Pliushkin. 
 It was evident that he had made up his mind to something ; and 
 in fact, taking his keys, he approached the sideboard, and having 
 opened the door, he fumbled for a long time among the cups 
 and glasses, and finally exclaimed, "Well, I can't find it. But 
 I had some splendid liquor, if it has not all been drunk ; but 
 my people are such thieves. However, perhaps this is it." 
 Tchitchikoff now saw that he held a decanter covered with dust. 
 "My deceased wife made this," continued Pliushkin. "That 
 rascally housekeeper meant to spoil it completely, and she did 
 not even cork it up, the beast ! Beetles and all sorts of rubbish 
 made their way into it ; but I took all the filth out, and now it 
 is perfectly clean, and I will pour yoii out a glass." 
 
 However, Tchitchikoff made an effort to refuse the liquor, 
 saying that he had already eaten and drunk. 
 
 " You have already eaten and drunk? " said Pliushkin. " Yes, 
 of course ; one recognises a man who belongs to good society 
 wherever one meets him. He does not go about asking for 
 things, but is satisfied with Avhat he takes at home. But when 
 some good-for-nothing thief comes along, you may feed him as 
 much as you like, he'll never refuse. Why, there's the captain : 
 he comes here. ' Dear uncle,' says he, ' give me something to
 
 PTJIISHKIN. 107 
 
 eat ! ' And I'm his uncle about as much as he is my grand- 
 father. Probably he has nothing to eat at home, and so he 
 prowls about the country. Yes, surely you will need the list 
 of all those lazy dogs. Certainly. As soon as I knew about 
 their death, I wrote their names down on a special piece of 
 paper, in order that I might have them struck out at the first 
 revision." 
 
 Pliushkin now put on his spectacles, and began to rummage 
 among his papers. As he untied each bundle, he treated his 
 guest to such a cloud of dust that the latter sneezed. At last 
 he drew out a paper which was covered with writing. The 
 names of the serfs were sprinkled all over it as thickly as flies. 
 They were of all sorts : ParamanoflFs and Pimenoffs, and Pan- 
 taleimonoffs, and even a certain Grigoriy Go-but-you-won't-get- 
 there. In all, there were over one hundred and twenty. 
 Tchitchikoff smiled at the sight of so many names. Having 
 placed the list in his pocket, he remarked to Pliushkin that he 
 should be obliged to go to town in order to complete the bill of 
 sale. 
 
 " To town ? But why ? And how can I leave my house ? 
 Why, all my people are either thieves or rogues ! They would 
 plunder me so thoroughly in one day that I should not even 
 have a nail left to hang my caftan on." 
 
 " Then, you haven't any acquaintance in town ? " 
 
 " What acquaintances ? All my acquaintances have died, or 
 have dropped me. Ah, my dear fellow! as for an acquaintance — • 
 But stop, I have one," he exclaimed. "Why, the president of 
 the court himself is a friend of mine ! He has never been here 
 to visit me in my old age ! Still, how could I help knowing 
 him ? We were brought up together, and used to play together. 
 Know him, indeed ! He's an old friend ! Would it not do to 
 write to him ? " 
 
 *' Write to him by all means." 
 
 "Why not? Such an old friend! We w^ere friends at school." 
 
 And across the old fellow's wooden face there suddenly flashed 
 a ray of light, which expressed, not feeling, but the pale reflec- 
 tion of a feeling : an apparition, similar to the sudden appear- 
 ance of a drowning man, which appearance elicits a joyous shout 
 from the crowd assembled on the shore. But in vain do the 
 rejoicing brothers and sisters cast a rope from the bank, and 
 wait to see whether he will not rise once more ; whether his 
 hands are exhausted with his struggles or not, this apparition 
 is the last. He is not seen again, and the calm surface of the un- 
 responsive fluid seems still more terrible and more desolate than
 
 108 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 before. Thus Pliushkin's face, after the momentary feeling 
 which had flashed across it, became more unfeeling and expres- 
 sionless than ever. 
 
 " There was a quarter of a sheet of clean paper lying on the 
 table," said he, " but I don't know what has become of it : my 
 people are such worthless creatures." Hereupon he began to 
 peer about under the table, poked about everywhere, and finally 
 screamed, " Mavra ! hey, Mavra! " At his call a woman made 
 her appearance carrying a plate,- upon which lay the sugar with 
 which the reader is already acquainted ; and a long discussion 
 took place between them. 
 
 " What have you done with the paper, you thief? " 
 
 " By Heavens, master, I have seen nothing, except the scrap 
 with which you covered the wineglass ! " 
 
 "Why, I can see by your eyes that you have made away 
 with it." 
 
 " But why should I have made away with it ? It's of no use 
 to me : I don't know how to read or write." 
 
 "You lie! you have carried it to the sacristan: he has a 
 smattering of knowledge, as I know, and you have carried it off 
 to him." 
 
 " The sacristan can get paper for himself if he wants it. He 
 has never laid eyes on your scrap." 
 
 " Just wait ; the fiends will toast you on a gridiron for this, 
 on the day of judgment ! You'll see how they will roast you." 
 
 " But what will they roast me for, when I have not even taken 
 your paper in my hands ? I may have other weaknesses, but no 
 one ever accused me of thieving before." 
 
 " Oh, won't the devils roast you, though ! They will say, 
 ' Take that, you wretched creature, for deceiving your master !' 
 Yes, they will toast you on red-hot bars !" 
 
 "And I shall say, 'There's no reason for it! by Heaven, 
 there's none ! I did not take it. Why, there it lies on the 
 table. You are always accusing us wrongfully!" 
 
 Indeed, Pliushkin now perceived the bit of paper, and paused 
 for an instant, chewing, as it were, till he finally ejaculated, 
 "Well, what did you flare up so for? Hey, what a touchy 
 creature she is ! Say but one word to her, and she'll answer 
 you back with ten. Go and fetch a taper to seal a letter. 
 But hold ! don't bring a tallow candle : tallow melts easily ; 
 it burns out, and is a dead loss : fetch me a pine-knot !" 
 
 Mavra went out : and Pliushkin, seating himself in an arm- 
 chair, and taking a pen, turned the paper about for a long time 
 in every direction, to see whether he could not contrive to cut
 
 PLItJSHKIN. 109 
 
 it in two, but at length be convinced himself that this was im- 
 possible, so he dipped his pen into the ink-bottle, containing 
 some mouldy liquid, together with a multitude of dead flies, 
 and began to write, each word being finely penned and each line 
 following close upon the other. He was already regretfully 
 reflecting that there would still remain a large expanse of 
 unused paper. 
 
 To such meanness, pettiness, baseness, could this man de- 
 scend, to such an extent could he change ! Does this resemble' 
 the truth, the reader may ask ? Well, it is very likely the! 
 truth: it may very well happen with a man. The fiery youth! 
 of to-day would start back in horror if he were shown the por-j 
 trait of himself in his old age. So take with you on your road, ' 
 as you leave behind you the soft years of youth and emerge 
 into manhood, which renders one hard and surly — take with 
 you all your human impulses, don't leave them on the way : you' 
 can never find them again later on if they are once relinquished.,' 
 Stern and terrible old age, as it advances, will return you nothing^ 
 give you nothing back ! 
 
 " And do you know of any of your friends who would like to 
 buy some absconding serfs ?" said Pliushkin, folding his letter. 
 
 " Have you any serfs who have absconded ? " asked Tchit- 
 chikofi" quickly. 
 
 " That's the very point : I have. My son-in-law made some 
 inquiries, and it appeared that no trace of them could be found : 
 but he's a military man ; he's a master hand at stamping about 
 in his spurs, but when it comes to troubling himself about legal 
 matters ." 
 
 " How many of them were there ? " * 
 
 " They would amount to seventy in all." 
 
 "No!" 
 
 "By Heaven, it is true ! Why, there isn't a year but what 
 they run away from me. The common people are great gluttons, 
 and have acquired a habit, out of sheer idleness, of stufiing 
 themselves on festival days ; and I myself have nothing to eat. 
 Well, I would take anything that I might be oftered for the ones 
 ■who have run away. So you had better advise your friend : if 
 he only found ten of them, he would make a deal of money. A 
 Boul on the census list is worth fifty roubles, you know." 
 
 "No, we won't let my friend have so much as a smell of 
 them," said Tchitchikoff to himself, and then he proceeded to 
 explain that no such friend was to be found, that the expenses 
 of such an undertaking would amount to so much that one would 
 have to cut the skirts ofl; one's own caftan to satisfy the judges
 
 110 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 and the lawyers ; however, out of sympathy, he was ready to 
 give, — well, it was such a trifle, that it was not worth men- 
 tioning." 
 
 " But how much would you give ? " asked Pliushkin, at once 
 turning into a Jew : his hands trembled like quicksilver. 
 
 "I would give twenty-five copecks for each soul." 
 
 ** And how would you pay — in ready money ?" 
 
 "Yes, cash on the spot." 
 
 "But, my good fellow, in consideration of my poverty, you 
 might at least give me forty copecks apiece." 
 
 " My most respected sir," replied Tchitchikoff, " I would pay 
 not only forty copecks, but five hundred roubles, apiece. I 
 would pay that amount gladly, because I see that a highly re- 
 spected, good old man is suffering on account of his generosity." 
 
 "By Heaven, it is so! By Heaven, you are right!" said 
 Pliushkin, hanging his head, and then swaying it compassionately 
 from side to side. " It's all out of generosity." 
 
 " Well, do you see ? I understood your character in an instant. 
 So, why should not I give five hundred roubles a soul for them ? 
 But I am not in a position to do it, unfortunately. I am willing 
 to add five copecks if you like, so that each soul w^ould thus be 
 reckoned at thirty copecks." 
 
 "Well, my good fellow, as you please ; but add at least a 
 couple of copecks." 
 
 " I will say two copecks more, then. How many have you ? 
 I think you said — seventy?" 
 
 " No, they will mount up to seventy-eight in all." 
 
 "Seventy-eight, seventy-eight, at thirty-two copecks a soul, — 
 that will be — " Here our hero reflected for an instant, no longer, 
 and then said, " That will be twenty-four roubles and ninety- 
 six copecks." He was strong in arithmetic. He immediately 
 made Pliushkin write out a list of the serfs who had absconded, 
 and gave him the money, which the latter took in both hands, 
 and carried to his desk, with as much caution as though it had 
 been some sort of liquid, and as if he feared each moment that he 
 might spill it. On arriving at the desk, he placed the money 
 with extreme care in one of the small compartments, where it 
 was probably destined to remain interred until Father Karp 
 and lather Polykarp, the two popes of his village, were called 
 upon to bury him, — to the indescribable joy of his son-in-law and 
 daughter, and possibly also of the captain who counted himself 
 as a relative. Having put the money away, Pliushkin seated 
 himself in his arm-chair, and seemed incapable of finding any 
 other subject of conversation.
 
 PLItJSHKlN. Ill 
 
 " What ! are you preparing to go already? " said he, per- 
 ceiving a slight movement which Tchitchikoff' made, simply with 
 the object of getting his handkerchief out of his pocket. 
 
 This question reminded our hero that there was really no 
 occasion for further delay. " Yes : it is time for me to go ! " 
 he exclaimed, taking up his cap. 
 
 " Won't you drink a cup of tea ? " 
 
 " No : it will be better to let the tea wait until another 
 time." 
 
 *' How is that ? I have ordered the samovar. However, to 
 tell the truth, I am not very fond of tea myself. It's an 
 expensive beverage ; and, besides, the price of sugar has risen 
 most terribly. Proshka, we don't need the samovar. Carry 
 the sugar back to Mavra, do you hear ? Let it be put back in 
 the same place, — or no, give it here : I will take it back myself. 
 Farewell, my dear fellow," — this to Tchitchikoff, " and may God 
 bless you ! And you will hand my letter to the president of the 
 court. Yes, let him read it : he is an old acquaintance of mine. 
 Why, we were brought up together! " 
 
 Thereupon, this extraordinary apparition, this little, withered- 
 up old man, conducted our hero into the yard, after which he 
 ordered the gates to be instantly locked. Then he went the 
 round of his storehouses, in order to see whether the night 
 watchmen were at their posts, ready to beat with their wooden 
 shovels on empty casks in lieu of sheet- iron. Then he peeped 
 into the kitchen, where, under the pretext of seeing whether 
 the servant's food was good, he partook heartily of some cab- 
 bage soup and groats; and, finally, having upbraided everyone 
 of them for thieving and evil conduct, he returned to his own 
 room. When he was alone, he even began to meditate how he 
 might requite his visitor for his, in fact, unbounded magnani- 
 mity. "I will give him," said he, " my watch. It is a very 
 good silver watch, none of your brass or pinchbeck affixirs. It's 
 somewhat out of order, but he can have it set to rights for him- 
 self. He is still a young man, and will need a watch in order 
 to please his bride. Or no," he added, after some thought, " it 
 will be better to bequeath it to him after my death, in my will, 
 as a remembrance." 
 
 But our hero was in the most cheerful possible frame of mind, 
 even without the watch. Such an unexpected acquisition as he 
 had made was a perfect godsend, say what you like ; it was not 
 only dead souls, but fugitive ones into the bargain, and to the 
 number of over two hundred ! He had certainly felt, as ho 
 drove up to Pliushkin's village, that he should reap some sort of 
 
 L
 
 112 DEAB SOULS. 
 
 a harvest ; but he had by no means expected so bountiful a one. 
 So all along the road he was extremely merry. It was already 
 perfectly dark when they arrived at the mn in the town. There 
 Tchitchikoif was met by his servant Petrushka, who held up the 
 skirt of his surtout with one hand, — for he did not like to have 
 his coat-tails flying, — while with the other he assisted his 
 master to alight from the britchka. The waiter also ran out, 
 with a candle in his hand, and a napkin over his arm. Whether 
 Petrushka was rejoiced at the arrival of his master is not 
 known. At all events, he exchanged a wink with Selifan ; and 
 his ordinarily surly countenance seemed on this occasion to 
 brighten up a little. 
 
 " You have been pleased to stay away a long time," said the 
 waiter, as he lighted our hero up the staircase. 
 
 "Yes," answered Tchitchikofl', as he set foot on the stairs. 
 " Well, and how are you ? " 
 
 "Very well, thanks be to God," replied the waiter, bowing. 
 " Some lieutenant or other arrived yesterday, and engaged 
 number sixteen, next to your room." 
 
 " A lieutenant ? " 
 
 " I don't know v/ho he is ; but he comes from Eyazan, and 
 has some brown horses." 
 
 " Good, good ! Well, behave yourself as well in future," said 
 Tchitchikoif, and he then went to his room. On entering the 
 ante-chamber he sniffed, and remarked to Petrushka, "You 
 might at least have opened the windows while I was away ! " 
 
 " I did open them," said Petrushka ; but he was lying. 
 
 His master was perfectly well aware of that, but he did not 
 care to retort. He felt very much fatigued after the journey 
 which he had taken. After partaking of the lightest kind of a 
 supper — merely a sucking-pig — he immediately undressed, and, 
 stowing himself away beneath the covei'let, he fell into a deep, 
 sound sleep. Indeed, he slept in a wonderful way, as only those 
 happy beings sleep who know nothing of either nightmares or 
 fleas, and who are not given to cudgelling their brains.
 
 THK TRIBUNALS AND THE POLICE. 113 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 THE TEIBUNALS AND THE POLICE. 
 
 On the next morning when our hero awoke he stretched out 
 his arms and legs, and felt that he had had a good rest. After 
 lying for a couple of minutes on his back, he snapped his fingers, 
 and recalled with a smile that he now owned nearly four hundred 
 souls. Thereupon he leapt from his bed, and began to dress, 
 without even looking at his face, of which he was sincerely fond, 
 and in which he seemed to find the chin the most attractive 
 feature, for he frequently praised it in the presence of his friends, 
 especially if they chanced to be present while he was shaving. 
 "Look here," he generally said, " see what a chin I have : it 
 is perfectly round." 
 
 However, now he glanced neither at his chin nor at his nose, 
 but straightway put on his morocco leather boots with orna- 
 ments of many colours, such as the town of Torzhok skilfully 
 supplies, and then in Scottish fashion, clad only in his shirt, and 
 forgetful of his dignity and his respectable middle age, he 
 executed a couple of leaps about the room, cracking his heels 
 very cleverly. Finally he set to work : he rubbed his hands 
 before his dressing-case with as much satisfaction as an incor- 
 ruptible district judge feels when he has successfully completed 
 a judicial investigation. He was anxious to settle matters at 
 once, and would not allow of any delay. He decided to draw 
 up the bills of sale himself, in order that he might not be 
 obliged to pay any lawyer. He was perfectly well acquainted 
 with the legal formulas, so he boldly began writing in large 
 letters, "Year one thousand eight hundred and so-and-so;" 
 and then, in smaller letters he added" Landowner so-and-so," 
 and all the rest that was necessary, so that in a couple of 
 hours everything was ready. 
 
 When he glanced after this at the various lists of moujiks 
 who had actually been alive once upon a time — who had toiled, 
 and got drunk, and acted as izvoshtchiks, had cheated their 
 masters, or possibly had simply been good moujiks in their 
 way, a certain feeling overpowered him, which was strange and 
 incomprehensible, even to himself. Each one of the lists seemed 
 to possess a special character ; and, more than that, the moujiks 
 themselves seemed to have acquired a special character. Nearly
 
 114 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 all the moujiks which had belonged to Madame Korobotchka 
 seemed to have supplementary names and nicknames. Pliush- 
 kin's list was distinguished by brevity of style ; often only the 
 first syllables of the men's names and surnames were given, and 
 these were followed by a couple of dots. On the other hand, 
 Sobakevitch's list was remarkable for its fulness and minuteness 
 of detail ; not a single one of any of the moujiks' qualities was I 
 omitted. Of one it was said, "A good cabinet-maker;" to the 
 name of another was appended the remark, " He is intelligent, 
 and does not get drunk," Such facts were also indicated as 
 who were the men's mothers and fathers, and what the con- 
 duct of the parents had been. Against the name of one, a certain 
 Fedotoflf, there was written, *'His father is not known, but his 
 mother was the housemaid Kapitolina ; however, he is of a good 
 disposition, and not a thief." All these details contributed a 
 peculiar freshness to the list ; it seemed as though these moujiks 
 had been alive only the day before. After indulging in a long 
 look at their names, Tchitchikoflf ejaculated with a sigh, " My 
 good fellows ! how many there are of you packed in here ! 
 What did you do when you were alive ? Answer me, beloved of 
 my heart ! How did you get along ? " This led him to many 
 reflections as to the lives led by the departed moujiks, and the 
 time rapidly slipped away. " Heigho ! twelve o'clock I " he said 
 at last, glancing at his watch. " Why have I been dawdling 
 here all this time ? I might have finished my business, and 
 instead of that I first wasted time in foolish thoughts. Well, 
 I am a fool. 
 
 Having made this remark he exchanged his Scottish cos- 
 tume for one patronised by civilised Europeans, drew the 
 buckle of his waistcoat as tightly as possible, sprinkled himself 
 with eau-de-Colopie, took his cap in his hand and his papers 
 under his arm, and set out for the city court-house to com- 
 plete the sales. 
 
 He walked along at a rapid pace, for he felt that he should 
 feel awkward and uneasy until everything was finished. He 
 had not been long in the street, and he was still thinking of all 
 these matters, and at the same time drawing his bearskin cloak, 
 covered with light-brown cloth, over his shoulders, when at a 
 turn in the lane he came in contact with a gentleman, also 
 clad in a bearskin cloak, covered with light-brown cloth, and 
 having a warm cap with ear-pieces on his head. The gentleman 
 uttered an exclamation ; it was Maniloff. They immediately 
 clasped each other in a close embrace, and stood in the street in 
 that attitude for fully five minutes. Their kisses were so vigorous
 
 THE TRIBUNALS ANB THE POLICE. 115 
 
 that their front teeth ached for the whole day afterwards, and 
 Maniloff's joy, especially, was so great, that nothing seemed 
 left of his face but his nose and lips ; his eyes disappeared com- 
 pletely. He held Tchitchikoff's hand in both of his own for a 
 quarter of an hour, and made it frightfully warm. Then he 
 related in the most delicate and agreeable terms how he had 
 come to town on purpose to embrace Pavel Ivanovitch, and his 
 speech concluded with a compliment such as is only addressed 
 as a rule to a young girl, with whom one is on the point of 
 dancing. Tchitchikoff had already opened his mouth without 
 knowing how to thank Maniloli'; but all at once the latter pulled 
 a roll of paper, tied with a narrow pink ribbon, from beneath 
 his cloak. 
 
 " What is this ? " asked our hero, taking the paper. 
 
 " A list of the moujiks." 
 
 " Ah ! " Then Tchitchikoff unrolled it, ran his eyes over it, 
 and was amazed at the clearness and elegance of the writing. 
 " This is splendidly done," said he ; " it will not be necessary 
 to copy it. There is even a border all round it. Who did 
 this border so tastefully ? " 
 
 " Well, you ought not to ask me. It was my wife." 
 
 "Ah, good Heavens ! I am really ashamed that she should 
 have taken so much trouble." 
 
 " There is no such thing as trouble, when Pavel Ivanovitch 
 is in question." 
 
 Tchitchikoff made a bow of gratitude. On learning that he 
 was on his way to the court-house, to complete the deed of sale, 
 Maniloff expressed his readiness to accompany him. 
 
 The friends locked arms and set off together. At every 
 elevation, however light, at every little rise of ground or step, 
 Maniloff" supported Tchitchikoff, and almost lifted him up by 
 his arm, accompanying the action with an agreeable smile and 
 the remark that he would by no means suffer Pavel Ivanovitch 
 to hurt his little feet. Tchitchikoff' felt conscience-stricken, 
 since he did not know how to return his thanks, though he was 
 well aware that he was rather heavy. By dint of mutual assist- 
 ance, they finally reached the market-place, where the court- 
 house was situated, a large three-storey stone building, as white 
 as chalk, in allusion, probably, to the purity of soul prevaihng 
 in the pubUc offices installed within it. 
 
 The friends did not walk, but ran, up the staircase. Tchi- 
 tchikoff, not caring to let Maniloff have the trouble of helping 
 him, quickened his pace ; and Maniloff, on his side, flew on 
 in advance, in order not to allow Tchitchikoff to get the advan-
 
 116 DEAD SOL'LS. 
 
 tage of him, so that they hoth were very much out of breath when 
 they finally arrived in a dark corridor. Neither in this place nor 
 in the rooms around was any cleanliness at all conspicuous. 
 Our heroes espied a great many documents, both rough drafts 
 and clean copies, clerks with bent heads, broad necks, swallow- 
 tailed coats, surtouts of provincial cut, and even one in a 
 pimple light gray round jacket, which stood out sharply among 
 the rest, and whose owner, with his head on one side, and 
 almost resting on the paper, was writing out either a protocol 
 about the seizure of some land, or else the description of an 
 estate which had been suddenly seized by some land-grabber. 
 Then they heard exclamations and orders given in a hoarse 
 voice : " Matter No. 368, if you please, Fedosiy Fedosievitch ! " 
 Next a scolding remark: "You are always carrying off the 
 stopper of the court ink-bottle ! " While at times a more com- 
 manding voice, belonging probably to one of the superior offi- 
 cials, rang out imperiously, " There, copy that, and look sharp ; 
 if you don't, your boots shall be taken off your feet, and you 
 bhall sit in my office without food for six days !" 
 
 The noise made by the pens as they went scratch, scratch, 
 was very great, and resembled that of several telyegas loaded 
 with brushwood passing through a forest, where the dry leaves 
 lay fully a quarter of an arshin '■' high. 
 
 Tchitchikoff and Maniloff entered the first department, where 
 there sat two officials, of whom our hero inquired, — "Will you 
 be kind enough to tell us where is the proper office for recording 
 the sales of serfs ?" 
 
 "What do you want?" said both functionaries, turning 
 round. 
 
 " I want to have a deed of sale registered." 
 
 " What have you been buying ? " 
 
 " I wish to know first of all where the serf department is— 
 here, or where ? " 
 
 " Tell us first what you have bought, and what price you 
 have paid, and then we will tell you where to go ; but it's im- 
 possible for us to do so otherwise." 
 
 Tchitchikoff immediately perceived that these officials were 
 simply inquisitive young fellows who unduly assumed an air of 
 importance. 
 
 "Listen," said he; " I know perfectly well that all affairs 
 connected with serfs, no matter what the price paid for them 
 may be, are transacted in one place, and I therefore beg of you 
 
 * Seven inclies.
 
 THE TRIBUNALS AND THE POLICE. 117 
 
 to show US the department ; if you do not know what goes on 
 here about you, we will inquire of someone else." 
 
 To this the functionaries made no reply : one of them merely 
 pointed with his finger to a corner of the room, where there sat 
 an old man docketing some papers. Tchitchikoff made his way 
 straight up to him. The old man was greatly absorbed in his 
 work. 
 
 " Permit me to inquire," said Tchitchikoff with a bow, 
 *' whether this is the place for matters connected with sale of 
 serfs ? " 
 
 The old man raised his eyes and replied, " No, this is not 
 the place for serf-sales." 
 
 " Where is it, then ? " 
 
 " In the serf department." 
 
 " And where is the serf department ? " 
 
 " Ivan Antouovitch has charge of it." 
 
 "And where is Ivan Antonovitch ? '' 
 
 The old man pointed with his finger to another corner of the 
 room, and Tchitchikoff and Maniloff betook themselves to Ivan 
 Antonovitch. Ivan Antonovitch had already cast a glance behind 
 him and taken a stealthy survey of them ; but he now busied 
 himself more intently than ever with his writing. 
 
 " Permit me to inquire," said Tchitchikoff with a bow, " whe- 
 ther this is the place for the transaction of business connected 
 Avith the sale of serfs ? " 
 
 Ivan Antonovitch pretended not to hear him, and, without 
 vouchsafing any reply, became absorbed in his papers. It 
 at once became apparent that he had attained to years of dis- 
 cretion — in fact he seemed to be well past forty. His hair was 
 black and thick, and he had one of those faces which is desig- 
 nated in common life as a "jug phiz." 
 
 " Allow me to inquire whether this is the serf department ?" 
 repeated Tchitchikoff. 
 
 "Yes," said Ivan Antonovitch, who just turned his jug face 
 round, and then went on with his writing. 
 
 " Well, this is my business. I have purchased some peasants 
 for exportation from various proprietors in this district. I havo 
 the deeds of sale ; all that remains is to register them." 
 
 " Ai'e the vendors present ? " 
 
 " Some are here, and from the others I have written autho- 
 rity." 
 
 " Have you brought your drafts of the bills of sale ? " 
 
 " Yes, I have. I should like to know — I am in somewhat of 
 f\, hurry^f the business could not be fiuished to-day ? "
 
 118 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " Oh, to-day ! that's impossible," said'Ivan Antonovitch. " In- 
 quiries must first be instituted as to whether there is anything 
 illegal about these matters." 
 
 " As far as that is concerned, and in order that the affair may 
 be expedited, I may mention that Ivan Grigorievitch, the Presi- 
 dent of the Court, is a great friend of mine." 
 
 " Yes ; but Ivan Grigorievitch is not the only person in the 
 world to be considered ; there are others," said Ivan Antono- 
 vitch grimly. 
 
 Tchitchikoff understood the hint conveyed by Ivan Antono- 
 vitch, and so he said, " The others will not be left dissatisfied. 
 I have been in the service myself; I know how the business is 
 managed." 
 
 " Go to Ivan Grigorievitch," said Ivan Antonovitch, in a 
 somewhat mollified voice. " Let him give orders to the proper 
 persons ; but the matter does not depend on us." 
 
 Tchitchikoff", pulling a bank-note from his pocket, laid it before 
 Ivan Antonovitch, who did not notice it in the least, though he 
 immediately covered it with a book. Tchitchikoff was about 
 to point it out to him ; but Ivan Antonovitch let it be under- 
 stood, by a motion of his head, that it was not necessary for 
 him to do so. 
 
 "There, that fellow will conduct you to the court-room," 
 the official next said, nodding his head. A clerk with frayed 
 sleeves and patched trousers guided our friends, as Virgil guided 
 Dante in the olden days, taking them straight to the court-room, 
 where in an ample arm-chair, and behind two ponderous books 
 and a mirror of the laws, sat the president in state, like the 
 sun. He was not alone, for beside him sat Sobakevitch, en- 
 tirely concealed by the zertzalo.* The entrance of the visitors 
 elicited an exclamation, and the presidential chair was shoved 
 back. Sobakevitch also rose from his seat. The president 
 received Tchitchikoff" into his embrace, and the audience- 
 chamber resounded with kisses, after which the two friends 
 inquired about each other's health. It then appeared that they 
 both had the back-ache, which was immediately attributed to 
 their sedentary life. The president, it seemed, had already 
 been informed of the purchases by Sobakevitch, for he imme- 
 diately began to congratulate our hero, which threw him into 
 some confusion at first, especially when he perceived that 
 Sobakevitch and Maniloff", two of the persons with whom the 
 
 * Zertzah. A small, triangular glass case, containing the three ukases 
 of Peter the Great, with the imperial eagle. This stands on the tahle of 
 every court-room in Russia,
 
 THE TRIBUNALS AND THE POLICE. 119 
 
 business had been privately transacted, now stood face to face. 
 However, he thanked the president, and then turning to Sobake- 
 vitch, he inquired, " And how is your health ? " 
 
 " Glory to God, I do not complain," said Sobakevitch. And, 
 in fact, he had nothing to complain of. Iron would sooner have 
 taken cold or caught a cough than this marvellously well consti- 
 tuted landowner. 
 
 " Yes, you have always gloried in your health," said the 
 president ; " and your late father also was a strong man." 
 
 " Yes, he went bear-hunting alone," replied Sobakevitch. 
 
 "But it seems to me," said the president, " that you also 
 could overthrow a bear if you chose to go out and encounter 
 him." 
 
 " No, I could not throw him," answered Sobakevitch. " My 
 father was much stronger than I am." And he continued, with 
 a sigh, "No, there are no such people left now. Here's my 
 life, for example. What sort of a life is it ? It is nothing 
 but " 
 
 " In what respect is not your life agreeable ? " said the 
 president. 
 
 " It's not good, not good ! " said Sobakevitch, shaking his 
 head. " Judge for yourself, Ivan Grigorievitch. I have lived 
 for fifty years and I have never once been ill ; I have never had 
 so much as a headache or an ulcer or a boil. Now that is 
 not a good omen. Some time or other I shall have to pay for 
 all this ! " and hereupon Sobakevitch became plunggd into pro- 
 found melancholy. / 
 
 ". Eh, what a man ! " thought Tchitcliikoflf and the president 
 simultaneously. " What a thing he has hit upon to fret 
 about ! " 
 
 " I have a little note for you," said Tchitchikofi", pulling 
 Pliushkin's letter out of his pocket. 
 
 " From whom ? " said the president. And breaking the seal, 
 he exclaimed, " Ah ! fromPliushkin. Is he still vegetating on in 
 this world ? That's a case of fate. He used to be the most 
 sensible, the wealthiest of men. But now " 
 
 " He's a dog ! " said Sobakevitch ; " a scoundrel ! He has 
 starved nearly all his people to death." 
 
 " Certainly, certainly," said the president, when he had 
 finished reading the letter. " I am ready to be his agent. When 
 do you wish to complete the sale — now, or later on ?" 
 
 "Now," said Tchitchikoff; "I should like it to be to-day, if 
 possible, for I wish to go out of town to-morrow. I have 
 brought the draft bills of sale with me."
 
 120 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " That is all right, only, -whatever may be your wishes in the 
 matter, we shall not let you leave us so soon. The deeds of 
 sale will be completed to-day, but you must remain with us. 
 I will give the necessary orders immediately," added the presi- 
 dent; and he opened the door to the offices, which were 
 filled with functionaries, who resembled industrious bees, 
 scattered over their comb — if, indeed, a honeycomb can be 
 compared to government offices. " Is Ivan Antonovitch here ? " 
 he asked. 
 
 " Yes," replied a voice within. 
 
 " Send him here." 
 
 Ivan Antonovitch, the man with the jug-like face, presented 
 himself in the audience-chamber, and bowed respectfully. 
 
 " Here," said Ivan Grigorievitch, " take all these bills of the 
 sale of serfs, and have them " 
 
 " And don't forget, Ivan Grigorievitch," broke in Sobakevitch, 
 "that at least two witnesses will be required on both sides. 
 Send to the procurator at once ; he is a man of leisure, and is 
 probably at home. Lawyer Zalotukha, the greatest robber on 
 earth, does all his work for him. The inspector of the Medical 
 Institute — he's a gentleman of leisure too, and is probably at 
 home, if he has not gone off somewhere to play at cards. But 
 there are plenty who are nearer at hand : Trukhatchevsky, 
 Byegushkin — they are all useless encumberers of the earth ! " 
 
 " Exactly, exactly ! " said the president ; and he immediately 
 despatched a clerk in search of all of them. 
 
 " I must also request you," said Tchitchikofi", " to send for 
 the representative of a lady landowner, with whom I have con- 
 cluded a purchase — th6 son of the protopope Father Kirill ; he 
 serves under you." 
 
 " Certainly ; we'll send for him," said the president. "Every- 
 thing shall be done, and you need not give anything to the 
 officials; that I must beg of you. My friends must not pay." 
 So saying, he immediately gave some orders to Ivan Antono- 
 vitch, which were evidently displeasing to the latter. The deeds 
 seemed to produce a favourable impression on the president, 
 especially when he perceived that the purchases were for a large 
 number of serfs, who must be worth fully a hundred thousand 
 roubles. He looked Tchitchikoff in the eye for several minutes, 
 with an expression of the greatest satisfaction, and at length 
 remarked, " Well, really! This is the way to do things, Pavel 
 Ivanovitch. So you have acquired all these ?" 
 
 "Yes," replied Tchitchikoff.
 
 THE TRIBUNALS AND THE POLICE. 121 
 
 " It's a fine transaction ; truly, a fine piece of business." 
 
 "Yes; I myself know that a finer piece of business could 
 not be undertaken. At all events, a man's object in living 
 remains undefined if he does not set his feet firmly on a durable 
 foundation, in place of following the chimera of youth." Here 
 our friend very opportunely introduced some strictures upon 
 young men for indulging in Liberalism, and so on. But it was 
 worthy of note that there was a certain lack of firmness in his 
 own words, as though he were saying to himself all the while, 
 " Eh, my good fellow ? you are lying, and stoutly lying, too ! " 
 He did not even glance at Sobakevitch and Maniloft', for fear of 
 detecting something or other on their faces. But his fears were 
 groundless : Sobakevitch's face never moved ; and Manilofl", de- 
 lighted with this discourse, only nodded his head approvingly 
 as he fell into that attitude which an admirer of music assumes 
 when a songstress has outdone a fiddle, piping such a shrill 
 note that even a bird could not sing it. 
 
 " Why don't you tell Ivan Grigorievitch," noAv called out 
 Sobakevitch, "just what you have bought? And you, Ivan 
 Grigorievitch, why don't you ask him what sort of an 
 acquisition he has made ? Such people ! Simply worth their 
 weight in gold ! Why, I have sold him my carriage-maker, 
 Mikhyeft'! " 
 
 "No; you haven't sold Mikhyefi*, though ? " said the presi- 
 dent. " I knew that carriage-maker, Mikhyefi"; he was a capital 
 workman; he repaired a drozhky for me once. Only, excuse 
 me, how is it ? You certainly told me that he was dead." 
 
 " What ! Mikhyeff dead ?" said Sobakevitch, not in the least 
 disconcerted. "It was his brother who died; but he's very 
 much alive, and in better health than ever. Only a few days 
 ago he began to make me a britchka, such as you can't get made, 
 even in Moscow." 
 
 " Yes, Mikhyefi" is a capital workman," said the president, 
 " and I am even surprised that 5'ou could part with him." 
 
 "Yes, and not Mikhyefi' only, but Cork Stepan, the carpenter ; 
 Milushkin, the brickmaker ; Maksim Telyatnikofl", the shoe- 
 maker — they are all gone ; I've sold them all." And when the 
 president inquired why he had sold them, since they were all 
 men who were indispensable about a house, being capital 
 artisans, Sobakevitch replied, with a wave of his hand, "Ah! 
 well, the fancy struck me. 'Come,' I said to myself, ' I'll sell 
 them ;' and so I did, in a freak." Thereupon he hung his head, 
 as though he repented of his deed, and added, " Here I am, a
 
 122 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 grey-haired man, and I haven't acquired any common sense to 
 this day." 
 
 "But excuse me, Pavel Ivanovitch," said the president, 
 " how does it come that you are purchasing serfs without land ? 
 Are they for colonisation ? " 
 
 "Yes, for colonisation." 
 
 " Oh, well! if they are for colonising purposes, it's quite a 
 different matter ; and in what locality? " 
 
 " The locality. Oh ! in the Khersonese Government." 
 
 " Oh, the land is excellent there ! " said the president, and 
 he expressed himself in very laudatory, terms with regard to the 
 growth of the grass there. 
 
 " And have you a sufficient amount of land ? " 
 
 **I have as much as is necessary for the serfs which I have 
 bought." 
 
 *' Is there a river or a pond ? " 
 
 ** A river. And there is a pond besides." After saying this, 
 Tchitchikoff glanced, unintentionally, at Sobakevitch ; and, 
 although Sobakevitch was as stolid as ever, it seemed to him as 
 though there were written on his face, " Oh, you're lying ! 
 You haven't any river, or pond, or land, at all ! " 
 
 During this conversation, the witnesses began to make their 
 appearance, — the blinking procurator, who is already known 
 to the reader ; the inspector of the Medical Institute, Trukhat- 
 chevsky, Byegushkin, and the other " encumberers of the earth," 
 as Sobakevitch expressed it. Many of them were entirely 
 unknown to Tchitchikoff. Not only was the son of the proto- 
 pope, Father Ivirill, fetched, but even the protopope himself. 
 Each of the witnesses signed with all his names and titles : some 
 in a reversed handwriting ; some in a slanting hand ; some simply 
 upside down, — introducing such letters as were surely never 
 yet beheld in the Russian alphabet. Our well-known Ivan 
 Antonovitch did his work very briskly. The deeds of sale were 
 recorded, the dates were entered, everything was copied in the 
 books, and, when it was all done, there was a chai-ge of one 
 half-rouble per cent., for the registration, to be paid. However 
 Tchitchikoff disbursed even less, for the president ordered that 
 only one-half of the tax should be demanded of him ; and the 
 other half was, in some manner, transferred to the account of 
 another purchase. 
 
 " So now," said the president, when all was over, "it only 
 remains for us to seal the contracts with a convivial glass." 
 
 " I am ready," said Tchitchikoff. " It only depends on you 
 to name a time. It would be a sin on my part if I did not
 
 THE TRIBUNALS ANT) THE POLICE. 123 
 
 uncork two or three bottles of foaming wine for such an agree- 
 able company." 
 
 " No ; you have not taken the matter aright. We are going 
 to provide the foaming material ourselves," said the president. 
 " It is an obligation: it is our duty. You are our guest: we 
 must entertain you. Do you know what, gentlemen ? This is 
 what we will do : we will all of us, as many as there are here 
 present, go to the chief of poHce's ; he's a wonderful fellow ! 
 It will only take him a minute to pass along through the fish- 
 market and look at the wine merchants, and you know how we 
 shall fare then ! And v^eW also have a little whist-party to 
 celebrate this occasion." 
 
 No one could refuse such a proposition. The witnesses felt 
 an appetite at the very mention of the fish-market : they all 
 instantly took up their caps and hats, and the sitting of the 
 court was at an end. When they passed through the offices, 
 Ivan Antonovitch — he of the jug face — said softly to Tchitchi- 
 kofi", as he made his bow, " You have bought a hundred thou- 
 sand roubles' worth of peasants, and yet you have only given 
 me one white bank-note for my labour." 
 
 "Yes; and what are peasants, after all?" Tchitchikofi" / 
 answered him in a corresponding whisper ; "a very worthless j 
 and most insignificant class of people, and not worth half that." i 
 Ivan Antonovitch then understood that his visitor was of an 
 uncompromising character, and would not give him any more. 
 
 The visitors finally arrived at the chief of police's house in a 
 body. This chief of police really was a wonderful man. As 
 soon as he learned the state of alfairs, he called to the captain 
 of the district, a bold young fellow in lacquered cavalry-boots, 
 and whispered a couple of words in his ear, adding, "Do you 
 understand?" And then while the guests were playing whist 
 with ardour in one room, there appeared on the table in another 
 some sturgeon, sterlet, salmon, sveriuga,* pressed caviar, 
 salted caviar, herrings, patties, cheese, smoked tongues, and so 
 on ; all of which came from the market. Next appeared a con- 
 tribution from the oflicials' own quarters — a boar's head, a patty 
 made out of a nine-pood sturgeon, another pasty of mushrooms, 
 some gingei'bread, butter-cakes, and rzvarenitza. '■'■'■ 
 
 The chief of police was a sort of father and benefactor to the 
 town. He was as much at home among the citizens as in his 
 own family, and he visited the shops and bazaars and disposed 
 of their contents as if they were his own private storerooms. 
 
 * A fish of the sturgeon species. 
 
 •f A spiced driftk made of beqr, brandy, and mead.
 
 124 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 On perceiving that the luncheon was ready, this wonderful 
 official proposed to his guests that they should finish their game 
 of whist after the meal ; and they all hetook themselves to the 
 adjoining room, whence an odour which tickled their nostrils 
 agreeably had long since been issuing. Sobakevitch had peeped 
 through the doorway a long while before, and had caught sight 
 of the sturgeon reposing on a huge platter in the distance. "When 
 each of the guests had drunk a glass of vodka of the olive-green 
 hue of those Siberian stones from which seals are cut in Russia, 
 they approached the table with their forks, and began to ex- 
 hibit their characters and their predilections, as the saying is ; 
 some attacking the caviar, others the salmon, and others the 
 cheese. 
 
 Sobakevitch, paying no heed to any of these trifles, attached 
 himself to the sturgeon, and in a little more than a quarter of an 
 hour, while the rest were eating, drinking, and conversing, he 
 completely made away with it, so that when the chief of police 
 happened to remember it, and said to his guests, " And what do 
 you think of that product of nature, gentlemen ? " and turned 
 towards it with his fork upraised, he saw that nothing was left 
 of his product of nature except its tail. But Sobakevitch kept 
 quiet, as though it were not his doing ; and, marching up to the 
 dish which was farthest off, he thrust his fork into a small dried 
 fish. After that he seated himself in an arm-chair, and neither 
 eat nor drank any more, but merely screwed up his eyes and 
 blinked. 
 
 The chief of police was in no wise sparing of his wine, and 
 there was no end to the toasts. The first one was drunk, as the 
 reader may have divined, to the health of the new landowner in 
 the Khersonese, and then to the welfare of his serfs and to their 
 successful removal ; then to the health of his future beautiful 
 wife, which evoked a pleasant smile on the lips of our hero. 
 They surrounded him on all sides, and began to entreat him to 
 remain at least two weeks longer in the town. " No, Pavel 
 Ivanovitch ! You may say what you like, you shall stay awhile 
 with us! We'll marry you off"! — We will marry him, won't 
 Ave, Ivan Grigorievitch ? " 
 
 " We'll marry him ! we'll marry him ! " The president of 
 the court caught up the refrain. "You may defend your- 
 self with hands and feet, but we'll marry you all the same," 
 he said. " Now, my dear fellow, you have come here, and 
 you won't have any reason to complain. We are not fond of 
 jesting." 
 
 *' What ! Why should I resist with hands and f^et ? " said
 
 THE TRIBUNALS AND THE POLICE. 125 
 
 Tchitchikoflf, laughing. " Marriage is not such a thing that 
 one However there would have to be a bride." 
 
 "A bride will be provided. "Why not? You shall have 
 everything, — everything that you wish ! " 
 
 " And if " 
 
 " Bravo ! he will stay ! " they all exclaimed. " Viva, hurrah! 
 Pavel Ivanovitch ! Hurrah ! " And they all crowded round 
 him to touch his glass with those which they held in their 
 hands. Tchitchikotf clinked glasses with all. " Ah ! Ah ! once 
 more ! " exclaimed the more enthusiastic ; and again they 
 clinked. Then they came up to touch glasses a third time, 
 and for the third time they clinked. All had become extremely 
 merry in a very short space of time. The president, who was 
 a very charming man when he got excited, embraced Tchitchi- 
 kofl' several times, exclaiming, in the fulness of his heart, " My 
 Boul ! my mamma ! " and then cracking his fingers, he even 
 began to dance round our hero, humming the well-known song, 
 " Ah! thou art so nice, so nice, thou Komarinsk moujik ! " 
 
 After the champagne, they opened some Hungarian wine, 
 which raised their spirits to a still higher level, and rendered 
 them extremely lively. They had forgotten all about their 
 whist. They asked questions, laughed and talked about every- 
 thing, — about politics, and even about military matters; freely 
 expressing sentiments for which they would have whipped their 
 children at another time. They settled a multitude of the most 
 difiicult questions. Tchitchikofi" had never found himself in 
 such a merry mood. He fancied that he was actually a land- 
 owner in the Khersonese, and he talked about various improve- 
 ments, — about farming ; about the happiness and bliss of two 
 souls living in mutual affinity ; and he began to recite to Sobake- 
 vitch, Werther's message to Charlotte, in verse ; his friend 
 blinking as he sat in his arm-chair, for after eating all that 
 sturgeon he felt strongly inclined to sleep. However, Tchitchi- 
 kofi" finally became conscious that he was growing too commu- 
 nicative ; he asked for a carriage, and obtained the loan of the 
 procurator's drozhky. The coachman of this vehicle w^as an 
 experienced young fellow, as soon became apparent on the road ; 
 for he drove with one hand, and, thrusting the other behind him, 
 supported our hero with it. In this manner was Tchitchikofi" 
 conveyed in the procurator's drozhky to his inn, where he still 
 continued to talk all sorts of nonsense for a long while, chatting 
 about a golden-haired bride with rosy cheeks, and a dimple 
 on the right one ; about estates in the Ivhersonese, and capital. 
 Selifan even received instructions to collect all the newly pur-
 
 126 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 chased serfs, in order that a roll of them might be called. He 
 listened for a long time in silence, and then he left the room, 
 remarking to Petrushka, "Go and undress the master!" 
 
 Petrushka set about removing his master's boots, f and almost 
 dragged him on to the floor with them. But at last the boots 
 were removed, the master properly undressed, and after tossing 
 about for a while on the bed, which creaked unmercifully, he 
 fell asleep, fully convinced that he was a landowner in the 
 Khersonese. But in the meanwhile Petrushka had carried his 
 trousers and his cranberry-coloured coat into the corridor, and, 
 hanging them up, he began to beat and brush them so that the 
 dust flew all over the place. As he was preparing to take 
 them down again he glanced outside and perceived Selifan just 
 coming from the stable. Their glances met, and they under- 
 stood each other by instinct : the master had fallen asleep, so 
 that they could take a little run on their own account. Carrying 
 the coat and trousers into the room, Petrushka immediately 
 went down-stairs ; and they both set off without uttering a 
 single word to each other as to the object of their expedition, 
 but chatting on the way of a totally different subject. Their 
 walk was not a long one, however ; they only went just across 
 the street to a building which stood opposite the inn. Here 
 they entered a cellar-like room, where people of all sorts were 
 seated at wooden tables — men with shaven and unshaven 
 chins ; men in sheepskin coats, and men in nothing but shirts ; 
 with one fellow who wore a frieze cloak. What Selifan and 
 Petrushka did there, God only knows ; but they came out an 
 hour later, arm-in-arm, in utter silence, showing each other 
 great attention, and mutually preventing each other from falling. 
 Hand in hand, and without ever releasing their hold on each 
 other, they fumbled about on the staircase for a quarter of 
 an hour, then mounted, and reached their master's rooms. 
 Petrushka halted for a moment before his lowly bed, meditating 
 how he could lie down upon it in the most genteel manner, and 
 then he stretched himself directly across it, so that his feet 
 rested on the floor. Selifan lay down on the same bed, placing 
 his head on Petrushka's stomach, forgetting that he ought not 
 to have slept there at all, but in the servants' quarters, or in 
 the stable near the horses. Both fell asleep at the same instant, 
 raising a snore of incredible loudness, to which their master 
 replied from the other room with a thin, nasal whistle. Soon 
 after this all sank into silence, and the inn was wrapt in 
 impenetrable slumber. In one small wmdow alone was there 
 still a light visible ; it was the window of a room occupied by
 
 THE TRIBUNALS AND THE POLICE. l27 
 
 some cornet or other, who had come from Ryazan, and who was 
 evidently very fond of boots, for since his arrival he had already 
 ordered four pairs, and was now trying on a fifth one. Several 
 times he approached his bed with the intention of throwing 
 them off and lying down, but he could by no means bring him- 
 self to do so. The boots were really very well made ; and for 
 a long time he still kept lifting up his feet and gazing with 
 admii'ation at the high and wonderfully formed heels. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 THE GOVEENOR's BALL. 
 
 Tchitchikoff's purchases became the subject of conversation 
 throughout the town. Discussions went on, and opinions were 
 expressed as to whether the purchase of serfs for colonisation 
 was profitable. In the course of the debate many people 
 showed themselves to be thoroughly conversant with the sub- 
 ject. " Of course," said some, " it is profitable. There is no 
 question as to that ; the soil in the southern provinces is very 
 fine and fertile ; but what will Tchitchikoff do with his serfs if 
 he has no water ? For there certainly are no rivers thereabouts." 
 
 " The lack of water would be nothing, nothing at all, Btepan 
 Dimitrievitch," replied another wiseacre ; "but this colonisa- 
 tion of serfs is a hopeless matter. It is a well-known fact that 
 on new land, where the work is confined to agriculture — where 
 there is nothing, neither izba nor manor-house — the moujik 
 will run away, as sure as twice two make four, and will, indeed, 
 take himself ofi' in such a manner that you will never dis- 
 cover the slightest trace of him." 
 
 " No, Alexei Ivanovitch ; excuse me, excuse me : I do not 
 agree with you at all when you say that Tchitchikofi''s moujiks 
 will run away. A Russian man is capable of anything, and can 
 adapt himself to all climates. Send him to Kamchatka if you 
 like, only give him some warm gloves, and, axe in hand, he will 
 set to work and build himself a new izba." 
 
 " But, Ivan Grigorievitch, you have lost sight of one very 
 important fact : you have not yet inquired what sort of moujiks 
 Tchitchikoff has bought ? You have forgotten that a landowner 
 does not part with good serfs. I am ready to forfeit my head if 
 Tchitchikoft"s serfs are not thieves, drunkards to the last degree, 
 and of idle and dissolute behaviour."
 
 12S DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " Yes, yes, I agree to that ; that is true : nobody sells good 
 moujiks, and Tchitchikoff's men are drunkards ; but you must 
 take into consideration that there is a moral here — that a moral 
 point is involved : they are worthless now, but, when settled on 
 new land, they may all at once turn into good subjects. There 
 have been plenty of examples of that sort, not only in the world 
 itself, but also in history." 
 
 " Never, never ! " said the director of the imperial factories ; 
 "and believe me, it never can be: for Tchitchikoff's serfs will 
 now have two powerful enemies. The first enemy will be their 
 proximity to the Little Russian provinces, where the sale of 
 wine is freely allowed. I assure you, that in two weeks' time 
 they will have drunk themselves to death. The other enemy 
 will be the habit of a vagabond life, which they must infallibly 
 acquire during the process of removal. It will be necessary for 
 Tchitchikoff to keep them constantly before his eyes, and to 
 govern them with all due strictness ; punish them for each 
 shortcoming, and not depute this to any other person, but slap 
 their faces and whip them himself, whenever it is required." 
 
 " Why must Tchitchikoff administer castigation in person ? 
 He might find an overseer." 
 
 " Yes, find an overseer who can ! Overseers are all rascals ! " 
 
 "Rascals, because the master does not occupy himself with 
 his affairs." 
 
 "That is true," broke in several. "An owner ought to 
 know something, at least, about the management of his estate, 
 and be able to discriminate between people : then he would 
 always have a good steward." 
 
 But the director of the imperial factories declared that a good 
 steward was not to be found for less than five thousand roubles. 
 And then the president of the court said that one might be had 
 for three thousand. But the director retorted, " Where will 
 you find him ? In your own nose ? " Whereupon the president 
 said, " No, not in my nose, but in this very district — namely, 
 Piotr Piotrovitch Samoiloff : that's the overseer whom Tchitchi- 
 koff needs for his moujiks." 
 
 Many of the townspeople entered heartily into Tchitchikoff's 
 position, and the difficulties of removing so large a number of 
 serfs greatly alarmed them ; they even began to feel much 
 afraid that a revolt should break out among such uneasy sub- 
 jects as Tchitchikoff's serfs. Thereupon the chief of police 
 remarked that there was no mutiny to be apprehended ; that 
 the captain-ispravnik existed for the purpose of preventing any 
 rising ; that, if the captain-ispravnik could not go himself, he
 
 THE GOVERNOR S BALL. 129 
 
 need only send his cap, and that this cap alone would drive the 
 serfs to the very localit)^ fixed upon for colonisation. Many 
 staked their estates that this would exterminate the spirit of 
 rebellion in Tchitchikoff's unruly peasants. Opinions varied 
 greatly : some there were who pronounced in favour of military 
 sternness and severity, even if it were a little excessive ; others 
 counselled mildness. The chief of police remarked that a sacred 
 responsibility now rested on TchitchikofF ; that the latter might 
 become, in a certain sense, a father to his serfs, as he expressed 
 it ; he might even lead them to a beneficent state of culture, and 
 in this connection he spoke in laudatory terms of the Lancas- 
 trian method of mutual instruction. 
 
 In this manner did the townspeople discuss and talk the 
 matter over, and many, moved by sympathy, even communi- 
 cated their advice to TchitchikofF, and actually went so far as to 
 offer a convoy for the safe transport of the peasants. Tchitchi- 
 kofF thanked them for their advice, saying that he would not 
 fail to adopt it in case of need, but he declined the escort in a 
 decided manner, saying that it was not in the least necessary ; 
 that the serfs whom he had purchased were of an exceedingly 
 peaceable disposition ; that they were themselves very well 
 disposed towards the idea of removal, and that no revolt could 
 possibly arise among them under any circumstances whatever. 
 All these discussions and expressions of opinion produced, how- 
 ever, the very happiest results that TchitchikofF could possibly 
 desire. They gave rise, in fact, to reports that he was neither 
 more nor less than a great millionaire. The inhabitants of the 
 town had already fallen heartily in love with Tchitchikoff, even 
 without this, as we have seen in the first chapter ; but now, 
 after all these rumours, they became still more deeply attached 
 to him. Moreover, they were good-natured people, if the truth 
 must be told, and lived together in harmony, treating each 
 other in a friendly fashion vnth kind-hearted simplicity and 
 gentleness. They were also much given to hospitality, and the 
 man who had tasted their bread and salt, or who had sat out an 
 evening at whist with them, became, in a certain way, their 
 relative ; and this was especially the case with Tchitchikofi\ 
 with his engaging manners and qualities, for he was really pos- 
 sessed of the great power of pleasing. They took such a fancy to 
 him that he actually could not devise a means of tearing himself 
 from the city ; all that he heard was, " Come, one little week ; 
 live with us just one little week longer, Pavel Ivanovitch ! " In 
 a word, he was petted to death, as the expression runs. 
 
 And yet more worthy of note (indeed, a complete subject of 
 
 I
 
 130 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 surprise) was the impression whicli TcliitcbikofF produced on 
 the ladies. Previously they had had very little to say about 
 him, although they had done him full justice, so far as his 
 agreeable manners in society were concerned ; however, from 
 the instant when reports as to his being a millionaire became 
 current, they discovered other qualities in him. The ladies 
 were not in the least interested parties, however : the word 
 "millionaire" was to blame for it all. Not the millionaire 
 himself, but simply the word ; for there is something about 
 the very sound of this word, more than about any money-bag, 
 which produces an effect equally on rascally people, on people 
 who are neither one thing nor the other, and upon good 
 people — in short, it takes effect upon everybody. The million- 
 aire has this advantage — that he can see baseness — pure, 
 utterly disinterested baseness — founded upon no calculations 
 whatever. Many know very well that they will receive nothing 
 from him, and that thay have no right to receive anything ; but 
 they will infallibly anticipate his desires, laugh, pull off their 
 hats, and force an invitation for themselves to the dinner where 
 they know that the millionaire is asked. It is impossible to assert 
 that this tender leaning towards baseness was experienced by 
 the ladies: still, there were many drawing-rooms where they 
 began to say, that, of course, Tchitchikoflf was not such a very 
 handsome man, but that he possessed the exact amount of good 
 looks which are requisite in a man ; that if he had been a little 
 thicker or fatter, it would have been unbecoming. In this con- 
 nection something was said about a thin man which was of a 
 rather offensive character, — that he was in the nature of a tooth- 
 pick, and indeed not a man at all. Additions of various sorts 
 were made to the attire of the ladies. There was a throng and 
 almost a crush in the bazaar; and a procession was even formed, 
 to such a degree had equipages flocked there. The merchants 
 were amazed to find that some pieces of goods which they had 
 brought from the yearly fair, and which they had not been able 
 to get rid of on account of their rather high price, had now come 
 into fashion all at once, and that customers fairly tore them 
 from each other's hands. One dame was observed during mass 
 to have such a train to her dress, that it monopolised half the 
 church, so that the chief of police of the district, who chanced 
 to be present, gave orders that the common people were to move 
 farther off — that is to say, nearer to the vestibule — in order that . 
 her excellency's robes might not be damaged. 
 
 Even Tchitchikoff himself could not but observe this unusual 
 attention to some extent. Once, on returning home, he found
 
 THE GOVERNOR S BALL. 131 
 
 a letter on his table. Whence it had come, and "who had 
 brought it, it was impossible to discover. The inn servant 
 simply declared that it had been brought there, and that ho had 
 been told not to mention by whom. This letter began in very 
 decided terms, as follows : " Yes, I must write to you ! " Then 
 something was said about the existence of a secret sympathy 
 between souls. This truth was enforced by some points of 
 exclamation which took up nearly half a line. Then followed 
 some remarks which were so very striking, that we consider it 
 indispensable to quote them : " What is our life ? A vale in 
 ■which sorrows have taken up their abode." " What is the 
 world ■? A throng of people without feeling." The writer then 
 informed him that she was bedewing with her tears some lines 
 traced by her tender mother, who had been dead for twenty-five 
 years. Next she invited Tchitchikoff to go with her to the 
 wilderness ; to abandon for ever the city, where people could not 
 benefit by the air in their stifling quarters. The end of the 
 letter expressed absolute despair, and it concluded with these 
 words : — 
 
 " Two turtle-doves will show thee 
 My ashes cold and dried ; 
 With yearning coos will tell thee, 
 That 'twas, alas ! in tears I died." 
 
 The last line would not scan, but that mattered nothing : the 
 letter was composed in the taste of the period. There was no 
 signature : neither was there name or sui'name, nor even the 
 month or date. The writer merely added in the postscript that 
 Tchitchikofl*'s own heart must divine who had penned it, and 
 that the original would be present at the governor's ball, which 
 was to take place on the morrow. 
 
 This interested him greatly. There was something so attrac- 
 tive about this Anonyma, something which appealed so strongly 
 .to his curiosity, that he read her epistle for a second, and even 
 for a third time, and finally said, " Well, I am curious to know 
 who wrote such a thing ! " In a word, the matter had evidently 
 become serious : he pondered and thought it over for more than 
 an hour ; at last, flinging open his arms, and dropping his head, 
 he said, " That letter is very, very fancifully written ! " Then, 
 of course, the letter was folded up, and laid away in his dressing 
 case, in company with some theatre-bills and a wedding invita- 
 tion, which he had preserved for seven years in the same 
 position and the same place. A little later, indeed, an invi- 
 tation to a ball at the governor's was brought to him — a matter 
 of very common occurrence in' provincial towns. Wherever
 
 132 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 there is a governor, balls are given ; otherwise the proper alle- 
 giance and respect of the nobility could not be maintained. 
 
 Our hero's appearance at the ball produced a remarkable 
 effect. Every one who was present turned to greet him, — one 
 with his hand full of cards ; another at the most interesting 
 point in a conversation, just as he was saying, " But the lower 
 district judge replied to that " — But whatever the district judge 
 did reply, it was flung on one side, and the speaker hastened 
 forward with a welcome for our hero : " Pavel Ivanovitch ! 
 Ah, my Heavens ! Dear Pavel Ivanovitch ! Most respected 
 Pavel Ivanovitch ! My soul, Pavel Ivanovitch! Here you are, 
 Pavel Ivanovitch ! Here he is, our Pavel Ivanovitch ! Permit 
 me to press your hand, Pavel Ivanovitch ! Give him here : I 
 will kiss him as fervently as possible, my precious Pavel Ivano- 
 vitch ! " Tchitchikoff found himself in the embrace of several 
 persons at once. He had not succeeded in wholly freeing him- 
 self from the embrace of the president of the court, when he 
 found himself in that of the chief of police ; then the chief of 
 police handed him over to the inspector of the medical insti- 
 tution ; the inspector of the medical institution to the. brandy 
 farmer ; the brandy farmer to the architect. The governor, who 
 was at that moment standing beside a lady, and holding in |one 
 hand a bonbon motto and a Bolognese spaniel, flung both motto 
 and spaniel on the floor as soon as he caught sight of him, 
 whereupon the dog set up a howl. In a word, our hero shed 
 abroad great joy and mirth. Upon every countenance there 
 beamed either satisfaction or at least the reflection of the 
 universal satisfaction. Thus it is with the faces of oflicials 
 during their superior's visits of inspection, after their first fear 
 has passed off, when they perceive that the state of things 
 satisfies him, and when he has at last been graciously pleased 
 to jest ; that is, to say a few words with an amiable smirk. 
 The officials who find themselves close to him laugh in double 
 measure at this ; even those who have but barely heard the 
 words which he has uttered, laugh; and, last of all, a man 
 who stands afar off, near the door, at the very entrance, per- 
 haps, — some police-officer, who has never laughed all his life 
 since his birth, and who, hitherto, has only shown his fist to 
 the people, — even he, by the irresistible law of reflection ex- 
 hibits some sort of a smile, although this smile may resemble 
 the expression on the face of a man who is on the point of 
 sneezing after a pinch of strong snuff'. 
 
 \^ Our hero replied to each and all, and was conscious of his 
 unusual skill ; he bowed to right and to left, somewhat on ope
 
 
 \ "^ jOfi^'^^ 
 
 THE GOVERNOR S 15ALL. 133 
 
 side, according to his custom, but with perfect ease, so that he 
 enchanted everyone. The ladies immediately surrounded him 
 in a glittering garland, and brought with them a perfect cloud 
 of every sort of perfume : one breathed forth roses, another 
 smelt of spring and violets, a third was thoroughly permeated 
 with mignonette. Tchitchikofl' simply raised his nose in the 
 air, and snified. There was a great variety of taste exhibited in 
 the ladies' costumes : their muslins and satins were of such pale, 
 fashionable colours, that it is impossible to put names to them ; 
 bands of ribbon, and bouque^ of llowers, fluttered here and 
 there on the dresses, in the most picturesque disorder, although 
 many a very orderly head had laboured over this disorder ; 
 the airy head-dresses only clung on by one ear, so to speak, and 
 seemed to say, " Ei, I shall fly away ! 'tis a pity that I cannot 
 bear my beauty away with me ! " The ladies' bodices, more- 
 over, fitted them tightly, and presented the most vigorous and 
 pleasing forms to the eye. 
 
 It is necessary to state, that all the ladies of N were 
 
 rather plump ; but they laced themselves so artfully, and had 
 such agreeable ways, that their rotundity was not noticed at all. 
 Everything about their appearance had been the subject of 
 great thought, attention, and care : their necks and shoulders 
 were uncovered just as much as was necessary, and not a bit 
 more ; each one exhibited her possessions up to that point 
 where, according to her own convictions, she felt persuaded 
 that they were fitted to enslave the men : all the rest was 
 concealed with remarkable taste ; either some adornment of 
 ribbon, and lighter than the little puffs which are called 
 "kisses," encircled the neck in an ethereal way, or else little 
 vandyked layers of thin cambric, known under the name of 
 "modesties," emerged from the dress behind the shoulders. 
 These " modesties " covered certain things both behind and 
 before which were not calculated to make a man feel unhappy, 
 while, at the same time, they made him suspect the existence of 
 the destroying objects. Long gloves were drawn up almost to 
 the sleeves, but deliberately left bare the attractive portions of 
 the arms above the elbows, many of which were of an enviable 
 plumpness : in some cases the kid gloves had burst, while being 
 encouraged to ascend higher. In short, it seemed as though on 
 all of them was written, " This is not the provinces; this is 
 the capital; this is Paris itself!" Only here and there did 
 some head-dress, hitherto unseen upon earth, thrust itself 
 forward, or even some feather, possibly a peacock's, arranged 
 quite in opposition to the fashion, and in accordance with indi-
 
 134 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 vidual taste. But this is not to be avoided ; such is the nature 
 of a provincial town ; it will infallibly break out in some spot or 
 other. 
 
 However, as Tchitchikoff stood before the ladies he wondered, 
 " But which one of them is the wi'iter of that letter? " And 
 then he thrust his nose forward to look more attentively ; 
 directly before it there was an array of elbows, trimmings, 
 sleeves, ends of ribbons, perfumed tuckers and gowns. The 
 gallopade was being danced at a furious rate : the wife of the 
 postmaster, the captaifi-ispravnik, a lady with a blue feather, a 
 lady with a white feather, the Georgian Prince Tchipkhaikhilid- 
 zefi", an official from Petersburg, an official from Moscow, a 
 Frenchman,— Coucou, — Perkhunovsky, Berebendovsky, they 
 all had risen and joined in. 
 
 Tchitchikoff soon became utterly bewildered in his efforts to 
 decide which of the ladies was the writer of the letter. On en- 
 deavouring to fix a penetrating glance on the women, he became 
 aware, that, on their part, something was being expressed which 
 sent both hope and sweet pain deep down into the heart of a 
 poor mortal, so that he said at last, "No, it is utterly impos- 
 sible to guess." This did not, however, in any way diminish the 
 cheerful frame of mind in which he found himself. He ex- 
 changed a few agreeable words with the ladies, in an easy and 
 skilful manner ; approached one and another with a tripping, 
 mincing gait, as is generally done by little old dandies on their 
 high heels, which are called "mice's horses," as they trip 
 briskly among the ladies. After tripping to right and left with 
 skilful turns, he gave a scrape of the foot in the shape of a short 
 tail, or a comma. The ladies were greatly pleased, and not only 
 discovered in him a large number of amiable and agreeable 
 qualities, but began to perceive a noble expression on his counte- 
 nance — something martial and warlike — which, as it is well 
 known, is extremely pleasing to women. They even began to 
 quarrel a little over him. On perceiving that he tarried near the 
 door, some of them made haste to occupy seats as close to the 
 door as possible ; and when one of them succeeded in effecting 
 this before the others, there all but ensued an exceedingly 
 unpleasant scene ; and many who would have liked to do 
 the same thing themselves, found such boldness extremely 
 shocking. 
 
 Tchitchikoff" was so occupied by his conversation with the 
 ladies, or, rather, the ladies so occupied and surrounded him 
 with their conversation, indulging in a vast number of the best- 
 planned and refined allegories, which all were bound to guess,
 
 THE GOVERNOR S BALL. 135 
 
 and which made the perspiration start out upon his brow, that he 
 forgot to comply with the requirements of politeness, and ad- 
 dress his hostess first of all. He only recalled it when he heard 
 the voice of the governor's wife, who had been standing before 
 him for some moments already. This lady said to him, in a 
 rather flattering and roguish voice, with an amiable shake of the 
 head, " Ah, Pavel Ivanovitch, so you are here ! " 
 
 It is impossible to reproduce the next words of the governor's 
 wife with accuracy, but something amiable was said by her in the 
 spirit in which the ladies and cavaUers express themselves in 
 the novels of our society writers — those gentlemen who are so 
 fond of describing drawing-rooms, and who plume themselves on 
 their knowledge of the highest " tone " — something in the strain 
 of, " Have the others taken such possession of your heart that 
 there is no longer any room in it, not even the smallest corner, 
 for those whom you have so pitilessly forgotten ? " Our hero 
 instantly turned to the governor's wife, and was on the point of 
 making her a reply which would probably have proved in no wise 
 inferior to those which are perpetrated in fashionable novels by 
 the Zvouskys, Linskys, Lidins, Gremins, and all the other 
 clever military men, when, chancing to raise his eyes unexpec- 
 tedly, he suddenly paused, as though benumbed. 
 
 The governor's wife was not standing alone before him : she 
 held by the hand a young girl of sixteen — a fresh blonde, with 
 delicate and well-formed features : a little pointed chin, a be- 
 witchingly rounded, oval face, such as an artist would have 
 chosen as a model for the Madonna, and such as is rarely en- 
 countered in Russia, where everything is fond of appearing in 
 broad forms — mowiitains and forests and steppes, and faces and 
 lips and feet — the v%yy little blonde whom he had met on the 
 highway as he was* leaving Nozdreft"s, when, through the 
 stupidity of their coachmen, or of their horses, their equipages 
 had come so strangely into collision, so entangling the harness 
 that uncle Mityai and uncle Minyai had had to straighten mat- 
 ters. Tchitchikoff now became so confused that he could not 
 utter a single suitable word ; indeed he muttered — the deuce 
 knows what, but something which neither a Gremin, nor a 
 Zvonsky, nor a Lidin Avould have said. 
 
 " You do not know my daughter yet," said the gover- 
 nor's wife ; " she is a school-girl, and has only just returned 
 home." 
 
 But our hero replied that he had already had the unexpected 
 pleasure of making her acquaintance. Then he tried to add 
 something more, but failed. The governor's wife said two or
 
 136 DEAD SOUI.S. 
 
 three words, and then went off with her daughter to the other 
 end of the apartment to her other guests : while Tchitchikoff 
 continued to stand motionless in the same place, like a man who 
 has gone cheerfully out into the street in order to take a walk, 
 with eyes disposed to look at everything, and who has suddenly 
 stopped stockstill, as though he had forgotten something. More 
 stupid than that man no one can possibly be. In an instant 
 his agreeable expression has vanished from his face : he strives 
 to recollect what it is that he has forgotten. Is it his handker- 
 chief ? No, his handkerchief is in his pocket. Is it his money ? 
 But no, his money is also in his pocket. He seems to have every- 
 thing about him ; and yet some unknown spirit whispers to him, 
 in his ear, that he has forgotten something. And so he gazes 
 abstractedly and gloomily at the moving throng before him — at 
 the flying equipages; at the caps and guns of a passing regi- 
 ment ; at a sign-board ; and withal he sees nothing distinctly. 
 Thus also did Tchitchikoff become a stranger to all that was 
 going on around him. At this same moment, a multitude of 
 hints and questions, all full of refinement and amiability, were 
 being addressed to him by the perfumed mouths of the ladies : 
 "Is it permitted to us poor dwellers on the earth to be so bold 
 as to ask you what you are thinking about ? " " Where lie those 
 blissful regions in which your thoughts are hovering ? " " May 
 we know the name of her who has plunged you into this sweet 
 valley of meditation ? " 
 
 However, our hero replied carelessly, their agreeable phrases 
 being as much wasted as though they had been cast into the 
 water. He was even so impolite that he speedily deserted 
 them, and went away to another part of the room, being 
 desirous of seeing where the governor's wife had gone with her 
 daughter. But the ladies, it appeared, were not willing to re- 
 lease him so quickly. Each one of them inwardly resolved to 
 employ all those feminine weapons which are so dangerous to 
 our hearts, and to set all their best devices in motion. Each 
 of them took an inward vow that she would be as fascinating as 
 possible in the dance, and show off her best points in all their 
 brilliancy. The postmaster's wife, as she waltzed, drooped her 
 head on one side in a very languishing way, as though she really 
 were listening to something supernatural. One extremely charm- 
 ing woman, who had not come with any intention of dancing — 
 being precluded, as she herself expressed it, by a little incom- 
 modity in the shape of a small corn on her right foot, in conse- 
 quence of which she had even been forced to don soft shoes — 
 could not resist, however, but took a few turns in her cloth
 
 THE GOVERNOR S BALL. 137 
 
 foot-geai-, simply to prevent the postmaster's wife from getting 
 too many conceited ideas into her head. 
 
 However all this by no means produced upon Tchitchikoff the 
 effect which the women had relied upon. He did not even 
 glance at the circle thus formed ; but, rising incessantly on tip- 
 toe, he gazed over their heads, in endeavour to see where the 
 fascinating blonde had gone. He also bent down, and stared 
 between their backs and shoulders ; and at length he caught 
 sight of his charmer, sitting beside her mother, over whom 
 something in the nature of an Oriental turban with a feather 
 was waving very grandly. Then it seemed as though our hero 
 wanted to take his beauty by storm. Either the spring weather 
 ■was taking effect upon him, or someone pushed him from be- 
 hind ; at all events, he made his way forward with great deci- 
 ■ sion, and paying no heed to anyone. The farmer of the brandy 
 revenues received such a thrust from him that he tottered, and 
 barely held his own on one foot ; indeed, had it not been for 
 this, he would most assuredly have knocked down a whole row 
 of people. The postmaster also stepped back, and stared at our 
 friend in amazement, mingled with delicate irony ; but Tchitchi- 
 koff never glanced at him : he only saw the little blonde, pull- 
 ing on a long glove, in the distance, and doubtless burning 
 with a wish to launch her flight over the waxed floor. Four 
 couples had already begun the mazurka in one corner : their 
 heels tapped the floor ; and a staff-captain was toilmg with 
 mind and body, with arms and legs, executing such steps 
 as no one else ever executed, even in a dream. Tchitchikoff 
 slipped past the mazurka, almost on the dancers'*very heels, 
 and made straight for the spot where sat the governor's wife 
 and her daughter. Still he finally approached them very 
 timidly, and became confused, exhibiting a certain awkwardness 
 in all his movements. 
 
 It is impossible to say with certainty whether the sentiment 
 of love had been awakened in our hero : it is even a matter of 
 doubt whether gentlemen of that description — that is to say, 
 gentlemen who are neither fat nor thin — are capable of loving. 
 Nevertheless, there was something strange about this, — some- 
 thing which he could not very well explain to himself : it seemed 
 to him, as he afterwards confessed to himself, that the whole 
 ball, with all its chatter and noise, had, for several minutes, 
 retreated far into the distance ; the fiddles and horns had 
 sounded from somewhere beyond the mountains ; and all was 
 covered with a misty veil, like a carelessly painted field in a 
 picture ; and from out of this misty and negligently sketched
 
 133 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 background there stood out, clear and Avell defined, the delicate 
 features of the charming blonde : her little oval face ; her slender, 
 very slender form, — such as girls retain for the first few months 
 after they are released from school ; her white and almost plain 
 gown, which clothed her slight, shapely young limbs so lightly 
 and gracefully, defining them in pure outlines. She seemed to 
 him like some admirable toy cleverly turned from ivory : 
 she alone stood out white, transparent, and bright from amid 
 the troublous opaque throng. 
 
 Evidently, this is the way things go on in the world ; evi- 
 dently, even Tchitchikofi's are converted into poets for a few 
 minutes in the course of their lives. Perhaps, though, the word 
 poet is too strong. At all events, he felt himself like something 
 in the nature of a young man — almost a hussar. Perceiving 
 an empty chair beside the young beauty, he desired to take 
 possession of it. The conversation did not make much progress 
 at first, but afterwards it went very well ; and he even began to 
 produce an efi"ect. In fact, the little blonde actually began to 
 yawn while our hero was telling his tales. He did not notice it 
 in the least, however ; but he related a number of agreeable 
 things, which he had already told on similar occasions, in 
 various places. 
 
 All the ladies were now thoroughly displeased with Tchitchi- 
 koff's behaviour. One of them walked past him, expressly for 
 the purpose of letting him see how she felt, and even brushed 
 the little blonde, in a very impertinent manner, with the heavy 
 rouleau of her dress, and so arranged the scarf which was flutter- 
 ing about her shoulders, that the end of it flourished into the 
 girl's face ; at the same moment, there proceeded from the mouth 
 of some ladies in the rear a very biting and vicious remark, in 
 company with an odour of violets. But he either did not hear 
 it, or pretended that he did not ; and this was not right, for the 
 opinions of ladies should be prized. He repented of this, but 
 later on, and consequently, too late. 
 
 Indignation, which was perfectly just in every respect, now 
 took possession of the ladies, and was depicted on their faces. 
 However great may have been Tchitchikoff's weight in society, 
 although he was a millionaire, and nobility was expressed — and 
 even something martial and military — on his countenance, yet 
 there are things which ladies will not forgive any man for, be he 
 who he may; and when that is the case — why, there's the 
 end of him. There are cases when a woman, however weak 
 and insipid her character may be, in comparison with that of a 
 man, suddenly becomes firmer not only than a man, but firmer
 
 THE governor's BALL. ]29 
 
 than anything in the whole world. The scorn expressed, almost 
 unintentionally, by Tchitchikoff, restored among the ladies that 
 spirit of concord which had almost vanished, in consequence of 
 their mutual jealousy. The few dry and commonplace words 
 which they involuntarily uttered contained sharp insinuations. 
 To complete the disaster, one of the young men composed on 
 the spot some of those satirical verses about the dancers, without 
 which, as is well known, hardly any provincial ball passes off. 
 These verses were instantly attributed to Tchitchikoff. The 
 indignation waxed fiercer, and the ladies began to talk about 
 him in the various corners, in the most unpleasant manner ; as 
 for the poor schoolgirl, she was utterly annihilated, and sen- 
 tence was pronounced upon her at once. 
 
 But in the meantime, a surprise of the most disagreeable sort 
 was in preparation for our hero. At the very moment when 
 the pretty blonde was yawning, and he was relating to her various 
 incidents which had happened to him at divers times, and even 
 touching lightly on the Greek philosopher Diogenes, Nozdreff" 
 made his appearance from the last room in the suite. He was 
 in a joyous, merry mood, and came arm in arm with the pro- 
 curator, whom he had probably been dragging about for some 
 time already ; for the poor procurator was bending his heavy 
 brows in every direction, as though endeavouring to devise 
 some means of ridding himself of this friendly promenade. In 
 fact, it was intolerable. NozdreH' had sipped courage with two 
 cups of tea, with rum, of course, and had been lying unmerci- 
 fully. On catching sight of him at a distance, Tchitchikofi' even 
 made up his mind to a sacrifice — that is, to abandon his enviable 
 position, and to effect as speedy a retreat as possible ; for this 
 encounter boded no good to him. But as ill-luck would have it, 
 the governor came up at that moment, expressed extraordinary, 
 delight at having found Pavel Ivanovitch, and detained him, 
 begging him to act as judge in a dispute of his with two ladies 
 on the question, " Whether woman's love were lasting, or not ?" 
 However, in the meantime, Nozdreff" had caught sight of our 
 hero, and made straight for him. 
 
 "Ah, ah! the Ivhersonese landowner ! the Khersonese land- 
 owner! " he shouted, marching up, and bursting into a laugh, 
 which made his cheeks, fresh and glowing as a rose in spring, 
 quiver: " How now '? have you bought any more dead souls ? 
 Surely, you do not know, your excellency," he screamed, turn- 
 ing to the governor: "this man deals in dead souls! By 
 Heavens ! Listen, Tchitchikoff : you know that I am speaking 
 out of friendship, for you and I are friends, and his excellency
 
 140 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 here also. I would like to liang you, by Heavens, I'd like to 
 hang you ! " 
 
 Tcbitchikoff did not know where he was. 
 
 "Will you believe it, your excellency?" went on Nozdreff: 
 " he said to me, ' Sell me your dead souls ; ' and I fairly burst vnth 
 laughter ! I come here, and I am told that he has purchased 
 three million roubles' worth of serfs for colonisation. Colonisa- 
 tion, indeed ! he tried to buy dead souls of me. Listen, Tcbit- 
 chikoff : you're a fraud, by Heavens, a fraud ! Here's his ex- 
 cellency here. — It's true, isn't it, procurator?" 
 
 But the procurator, Tcbitcbikoft", and even the governor him- 
 self, were in such confusion, that they found absolutely nothing 
 whatever to say ; and in the meantime, Nozdreff, paying not the 
 least heed to them, continued his half-drunken speech : " Wait, 
 my good fellow, you, you^ — I shall not leave you until I find 
 out why you were buying dead souls. Listen, Tcbitchikoff, you 
 really ought to be ashamed of yourself ! You know yourself 
 that you have no better friend than I. And here's his excel- 
 lency. It's true, isn't it, procurator? You cannot conceive, 
 your excellency, how we are bound up in each other ; that is, it 
 is simply as though you were to say, here, — I stand here, and 
 you ask, ' Nozdreff, tell me on your conscience, which is dearer 
 to you, your own father, or Tcbitchikoff?" Well, I should 
 answer, ' Tcbitchikoff, by Heavens ! ' Permit me, my soul, 
 I will give you one kiss. — Pardon me, your excellency; but I 
 must kiss bim. — Yes, Tcbitchikoff ;. now don't resist ; allow me 
 to imprint just one little kiss vipon thy snow-white cheek !" 
 
 Nozdreff was so vigorously repulsed, however, as he at- 
 tempted to bestow his kiss, that he came near flying full- 
 length on the floor. Everyone bad retreated from him, and 
 listened no more. But his remarks about dead souls had been 
 uttered at the top of his voice, and had been accompanied by 
 such boisterous laughter, that they had attracted the attention, 
 even of those who were in the most remote corners of the room. 
 This news seemed so terrible, that all paused with a sort of 
 wooden, stupidly interrogative expression on their faces. Tcbit- 
 chikoff observed that several of the ladies winked at each other, 
 with a malicious, biting smile ; and there was an equivocal 
 expression oh some of their faces which still further increased 
 his confusion. 
 
 That Nozdreff was a notorious liar was known to all ; and 
 the most utter nonsense from him would not have been the 
 slightest novelty : but mortal man — truly, it is hard to under- 
 stand how a mortal is constructed : no matter wbat a saying
 
 THE governor's BALL. 141 
 
 may be, so long as it is a novelty, he instantly communicates it to 
 another mortal, if only for the sake of saying, " Just see what 
 lies are disseminated! " and the other mortal inclines his ear 
 with pleasure, although he himself afterwards says, " Why, that 
 is a stupid lie, which is not worth noticing ! " and then he in- 
 stantly sets out to seek a third mortal, tells him all about it, and 
 then they both exclaim, with noble indignation, " What a stupid 
 lie ! " And all this will infallibly go the rounds of the whole 
 town ; and all the mortals therein, no matter what their number 
 may be, will inevitably talk their fill, and then confess that it 
 deserves no attention and is not worth talking about. 
 
 This apparently trivial incident visibly disturbed our hero. 
 No matter how stupid a fool's words may be, they are oflen 
 sulficient to perturb a sensible man. Tchitchikoflf began to feel 
 awkward and out of place ; it was exactly as though a beauti- 
 fully cleaned boot had been suddenly plunged into a muddy, 
 evil-smelling puddle ; in short, it was unpleasant, very unpleasant 
 indeed. He tried not to think of it ; he endeavoured to divert 
 his thoughts, to enjoy himself: he sat down to the whist-table, 
 but everything went crooked. Twice he made a mistake in the 
 suit, and, forgetting that one does not deal to one's self third, 
 he gave a flourish with his hands, and proceeded. The president 
 of the court could not in the least comprehend how it was that 
 Pavel Ivanovitch, who knew how to play so well, and, one 
 might even say, delicately, could make such mistakes, and had 
 even sacrificed his king of spades, upon which, to use his own 
 expression, he, the president, had relied as upon a stone wall. 
 Finally, the postmaster and the president, and even the chief of 
 police, as was proper, began to jest over our hero, to say that 
 he was in love, that " We know all about it : Pavel Ivanovitch's 
 heart is bad, and we know by whom it has been wounded." 
 However, all this did not console him in the least, try as he 
 would to laugh and to jest in return. He was not even in a state 
 to unbend at supper, although the company at table was very 
 agreeable, and Nozdrefi'had been led away long before ; for even 
 the ladies had at length perceived that his conduct had been 
 quite too scandalous. In the middle of the cotillion, he had 
 seated himself on the floor, and began to catch at the skirts of 
 the feminine dancers, which, to use the ladies' expression, was 
 unlike anything else that had ever been heard of. 
 
 The supper was very gay : but Tchitchikoflf did not even 
 await the end of it ; he went home much earlier than it was his 
 custom to go. There, in his little chamber, which is so familiar to 
 the reader, with some drawers half blocking up the door, and some
 
 142 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 •beetles peeping out of the corners now and then, his thoughts 
 and spirits became as uncomfortable as the uncomfortable arm- 
 chair in which he sat. There was a troubled, disagreeable 
 sensation at his heart : a sort of heavy void. " May the deuce 
 take all those who originated balls ! " he said angrily. " Now, 
 what the Fiend is there to make merry about ? There are bad 
 crops and high prices all over the government, and yet they 
 must needs have a ball. Eh, a pretty affair, truly ! " 
 
 While our friend was sitting in his uncomfortable arm-chair 
 busied with his thoughts, the tallow candle burned on before 
 him, its light long since obscured by its long black wick and 
 threatening to go out every instant ; while through the window, 
 the dull, dark night peeped in at him on the point of turning 
 blue with the approaching dawn ; for the cocks already crowed 
 afar. At this very hour, too, in another quarter of the town, an 
 incident was taking place which was destined to increase the 
 unpleasantness of our hero's position. 
 
 Along the distant streets and alleys there rattled a very 
 singular equipage, which aroused doubt within one's mind as to 
 its proper nomenclature. It did not resemble a tarantas, nor a 
 calash, nor a britchka : it was more like a swollen, fat-cheeked 
 watermelon set upon wheels. The sides of the watermelon — 
 that is to say, the doors, which bore traces of yellow paint — 
 closed very badly, on account of the dilapidated condition of the 
 handles and locks ; so they were secured with strings. The 
 watermelon was filled with chintz pillows, sacks of grain, 
 kalatchi,'^' hokwrld, skorodumJd, and cracknels of raised dough. 
 A chicken-pie and a pasty filled with pickled cucumbers even 
 peeped out on the top ; while the foot-board was occupied by an 
 individual of the lackey species, clad in a short round jacket of 
 variegated home-made stuff, and an unkempt pepper and salt 
 beard, an individual of the sort known by the appellation of 
 vialui.f 
 
 The rattle and squeak of the iron clamps and the rusty screws 
 as the vehicle passed along, awakened a watchman quite at the 
 other end of the town, and this fellow, raising his halberd, 
 shouted at the top of his voice through his sleep, " Who goes 
 there?" but perceiving at last that no one was going past him, 
 and that there was only a rattling in the distance, he shook him- 
 self by his collar, made of some sort of wild beast's skin, and, 
 stepping up to his lantern, he chastised it thoroughly. Then, 
 
 * Meat patties. 
 
 t " Boy," in the sense of servant, regardless of age, just as a negro 
 was formerly called a "boy " in the South of the United States,
 
 THE EMOTIOIS'S OF A SMALL TOAVX. 143 
 
 quitting bis halberd once more, be went to sleep again, accord- 
 to tbe laws of bis order of cbivalry. Meanwbile tbe borses of 
 tbe watermelon coacb bad fallen down more tban once, for 
 tbey were not sbod ; and, besides it was evident tbat tbe ancient 
 pavement of tbe town was not familiar to tbem. Tbe kuhiiinaiia,''- 
 after making several turns from street to street, finally drove 
 into an obscure lane leading past tbe little parish church of 
 St. Nikolai, and baited before the gate of tbe protopope's house. 
 From the vehicle then descended a maidservant wearing a ker- 
 chief and a tyeJofjryel(a.\ She knocked at tbe gate with both 
 fists as vigorously as though she bad been a man. Then the 
 dogs began to bark ; and finally the gates, opening, ingulfed, 
 although with great difiiculty, this clumsy travelling convey- 
 ance. 
 
 Tbe equipage entered a small courtyard, which was full of 
 wood, chicken-coops, and cages ; from tbe equipage then 
 emerged a lady, who was none other than our friend the widow 
 of tbe collegiate secretary Korobotcbok. Shortly after our 
 hero's departure, she had become so uneasy with regard to 
 any possible trickery on bis part, tbat, after losing her sleep for 
 three nights in succession, she bad made up her mind to go to 
 town herself, and this despite the fact tbat her horses were not 
 sbod. She meant to find out definitely what dead souls were 
 good for, and whether she bad not committed a blunder, which 
 God forbid, in selling them, perchance, too cheaply. The 
 eventual result of her arrival in town will be learnt by the 
 reader from a conversation which took place soon afterwards 
 between two ladies. We will give this conversation in the next 
 chapter. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 THE EMOTIONS OF A SMALL TOWN. 
 
 Ix the morning, even at an earlier hour than was suitable for 
 visits, a lady in an elegant plaid cloak emerged from tbe door of 
 an orange-coloured wooden mansion with blue columns, accom- 
 panied by a lackey in a coat with numerous capes, and a gold 
 band on his glossy round hat. 
 [ * An ugly, heavy, old-fashioned coach. f A short, wann jacket.
 
 144 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 The lady, "with remarkable haste, entered a calash which 
 stood at the entrance. The lackey immediately slammed the 
 door after her, put up the steps, and, seizing the strap behind, 
 called out to the coachman, "Drive on ! " The lady had just 
 learned some news, and she felt an unconquerable desire to 
 impart it to her friends. She looked out of the window every 
 instant, and saw, to her indescribable vexation, that she was 
 still only half way to her destination. Every house seemed 
 longer to her than usual : the white stone hospital, with its 
 narrow windows, dragged out to an interminable length, so that 
 at last she could not restrain her impatience, but said, " There's 
 no end to that cursed building ! " Twice did the coachman 
 receive the order, "Faster, faster, Andriushka ! You drive 
 intolerably slow to-day ! " Finally, however, the lady reached 
 her destination. The calash halted before a one-story wooden 
 house of a dark gray hue, with white bas-reliefs over the 
 windows, a lofty wooden grating before the windows, and a 
 narrow palisade in front, behind which some slender trees 
 gleamed white with the city dust which never left them. In the 
 windows of the house some pots of flowers were to be seen, 
 together with a parrot swinging in a cage, and clinging to 
 his ring with his beak, and there were also two poodles lying 
 asleep in the sunshine. In this house dwelt a feminine friend 
 of the lady who had just driven up. For various reasons we 
 prefer to call this friend by the nickname which Avas almost 
 
 universally accorded to her in the town of N ; namely, 
 
 " The charming lady." She had acquired this cognomen in a 
 legitimate manner ; for indeed she spared no pains to make 
 herself extremely agreeable. 
 
 Still, amid all her amiability there certainly did peep out some 
 disagreeable traits, and at times her gracious words pricked one 
 most unmercifully. However everything was dispensed with 
 a refined art such as is only met with in provincial towns. 
 Each of her movements was tasteful ; she was very fond of 
 poetry; she even knew how to hold her head in a dreamy way ; 
 and everyone agreed that she was really charming in every 
 respect. 
 
 But the other lady — that is to say, the visitor — was not so 
 many-sided in character, so we will simply call her " the nice 
 lady." The arrival of this visitor awakened the poodles, who were 
 slumbering in the sun — shaggy Adele and the thin-legged male 
 puppy, Potpourri. Both carried their curled tails into the ante- 
 room, where the visitor had freed herself of her cloak, and 
 stood in a gown of fashionable pattern and coloui'. There was
 
 THE EMOTIONS OF A SMALL TOWN. 145 
 
 a long scarf about her neck, and an odour of jasmine was wafted 
 through the room. No sooner had the charming lady heard of 
 the arrival of her friend, the nice lady, than she ran out into the 
 ante-room. The ladies seized each other by the hand, kissed 
 each other, and screamed as schoolgirls scream when they 
 meet shortly after their release from their studies, and before 
 their mammas have succeeded in explaining to them that the 
 father of one suitor is poorer and of lower rank than the other. 
 The kisses were very loud, so that the poodles began to bark 
 again, for doing which they were switched with a handkerchief. 
 Then both ladies betook themselves to the drawing-room, which 
 was blue, of course, with a divan, an oval table, and even a plush- 
 covered screen ; after them ran shaggy Adele and Potpourri on 
 his slender legs. " Here, here, in this nice little corner ! " said 
 the hostess, seating her guest in one corner of the sofa. " That's 
 it, that's it ! Now, here's a cushion for you." So saying, she 
 thrust behind the other's back a cushion, which had a knight 
 worked upon it in wool, in the fashion in which such things 
 are always worked on canvas : his nose projected like a stair- 
 case, and his lips were square. " How glad I am that you 
 have called," now resumed the charming lady. " I heai'd 
 some one arrive, and I thought to myself, ' Who can it be 
 so early ? ' Parasha suggested the wife of the vice-governor ; 
 but I said to myself, ' "What ! has that fool come here to bore 
 us again ? ' and I was on the point of saying that I was not at 
 home." 
 
 The visitor was certainly anxious to communicate her news 
 at once ; but an exclamation which the charming lady uttered 
 at that moment gave another turn to the conversation. 
 
 " What a gay, pretty chintz ! " exclaimed the charming lady, 
 gazing at the gown of the nice lady. 
 
 " Yes, it is very gay. But Praskovya Feodorovna thinks that 
 it would be better if the pattern were smaller, and if the dots 
 were blue instead of light brown. I sent some other material to 
 my sister : it's so lovely that it is simply impossible to describe 
 it in words. Just imagine : some little stripes as fine as the 
 human mind can conceive, a blue ground, and across the stripes, 
 all over them in fact, a lot of dots and splashes, dots and splashes, 
 dots and splashes, — in short, it is incomparable. I positively 
 declare that there was never anything like it." 
 
 " But my dear, that's motley." 
 
 " Oh, no ! it's not." 
 
 " Yes, it's motley." 
 
 It must be stated that the charming lady was somewhat of a 
 
 K
 
 146 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 materialist, inclined to denial and doubt, and that she despised 
 many things in life. However the nice lady again asserted that 
 her material was not in the least degree motley, and exclaimed, 
 "Dear me ! you are wearing gimp. Why, gimp is no longer worn." 
 
 " "What ! it is not worn ? " 
 
 " No : scallops are worn instead." 
 
 " Scallops — ah, that's not nice at all! " 
 
 "Scallops; everything is scallops; a pelerine scalloped at 
 the edges, scalloped sleeves, scalloped epaulets, scallops below, 
 scallops above, scallops, scallops everywhere." 
 
 "That's not at all pretty, Sophia Ivanovna, if everything is 
 scalloped." 
 
 " Oh dear me, yes ; it is incredibly pretty, Anna Grigorievna. 
 But how greatly surprised you will be to learn that bodices 
 have grown still longer, and that the front is cut in a point. 
 The skirts are quite round, like the old-fashioned farthingales ; 
 and a little padding is even added behind, in order that one may 
 look a fine woman." 
 
 " "Well, that is nice, I must confess ! " said the charming lady, 
 making a gesture of the head which was full of dignity. 
 
 " Exactly : I confess that I like it,'' replied the nice lady. 
 
 "Well, for myself, I shall not follow that fashion, on any 
 account." 
 
 " I also think — well really, when you consider what fashion 
 does come to sometimes. I asked my sister for some patterns, 
 just for the fun of the thing. My Melanie has already made 
 herself a dress in the new style." 
 
 " So you have some patterns ! " exclaimed the charming lady, 
 not without a perceptible movement of anger. 
 
 " Certainly : my sister sent them to me." 
 
 " Give them to me, my soul, for the sake of all that's holy ! " 
 
 " Alas ! I have already promised them to Prascovya Feodor- 
 ovna. Perhaps you can have them after her." 
 
 "Who will care to wear anything after Prascovya Feodor- 
 ovna ! It's very strange that you should give the preference to 
 strangers over your own friends." 
 
 " But she is my aunt." 
 
 " God knows what sort of an aunt she is to you — merely 
 on the husband's side. No, Sophia Ivanovna, don't deny it ; I 
 won't hear anything more ; you evidently meant to inflict this 
 insult on me. It is plain that you wish to break off all acquaint- 
 ance with me." 
 
 Poor Sophia Ivanovna did not know what to do. She felt 
 that she had placed herself between two vigorous tires. So
 
 THE EMOTIONS OF A SMALL TOWN. 117 
 
 much for boastiug. She was ready to pull out her tongue to 
 punish herself for her stupidity. 
 
 " Well, and what about our delightful friend ? " asked the 
 charming lady. 
 
 " Ah, my Heavens ! Where is my poor head ? This is too 
 good ! Of course you know, Anna Grigorievna, why I have 
 come to see you this morning? " Here the visitor's breathing 
 became oppressed ; and her companion retorted: " Praise and 
 laud him as you like, but I say frankly, and I will say it to his 
 face, that he is a Avorthless man — worthless, worthless, 
 worthless ! " 
 
 " But only listen while I disclose to you." 
 
 " Rumours have been in circulation that he is handsome ; 
 but he is not handsome at all : and his nose — why, it's a most 
 disagreeable nose." 
 
 "Permit me, only permit me to tell you, — my dearest Anna 
 Grigorievna, permit me to tell you. This is really a story, a 
 story I have to relate." 
 
 " What sort of a story, pray ? " 
 
 " Ah, Anna Grigorievna, my life ! if you could only conceive 
 the situation in which I find myself Just imagine : this morn- 
 ing the protopopess — the wife of Father Kirill — comes to me, 
 and what do you think ? What sort of a fellow do you suppose 
 our meek friend, our stranger, is, hey ? " 
 
 " What ! Has he been paying court to the jjrotopopess ? " 
 
 " Ah, Anna Grigorievna, if he only had been paying court to 
 her, that would be nothing ! but listen to what the protopope's 
 wife told me. She says that Mrs. Korobotchka, the land- 
 owner, has come to her house, dreadfully frightened and as pale 
 as death, and has told her — what has she not told her ! Only 
 listen! it's a perfect romance: all of a sudden, in the dead of 
 the night, when everybody was fast asleep in the house, there 
 came a knock at the gate, — the most terrible knock that you 
 can imagine ; there was a cry of, ' Open, open ! if you don't. 
 I'll break down your gates ! ' How does that strike you ? What 
 sort of a charmer is he after that ? " 
 
 "But what is Mrs. Korobotchka like? Is she young and 
 pretty ? " 
 
 " Not in the least : she is an old woman." 
 
 " Ah, delightful ! So he is crazy after an old woman ? Well, 
 the taste of our ladies seems to be very nice : they have pitched 
 upon a funny person to fall in love with." 
 
 " Why, no, Anna Grigorievna, it's not at all as you think. 
 But fancy, he presents himself armed from head to foot, like
 
 148 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 Rinaldo Rinaldino, and makes this demand : ' Sell me all your 
 souls that have died.' Then Mrs. Korobotchka replies very 
 sensibly, and says, 'I cannot sell them, as they are dead.' — 
 ' No,' says he, ' they are not dead. It's my business to know,' 
 says he, ' whether they are dead, or not ; and they're not dead, 
 they're not dead ! ' he shouts, ' they're not dead ! ' In short, 
 he behaves in a scandalous manner : the whole village runs up, 
 the children cry, everybody shouts, no one can understand. 
 Well, it was simply horrible ! horrible ! horrible ! But you can- 
 not conceive, Anna Grigorievna, how upset I was when I heard 
 all this. ' My dearest lady,' says the protopopess to me, * look 
 in the glass, and see how pale you are.' — ' I don't want to look 
 in the glass,' I said. ' I must go and tell Anna Grigorievna.' 
 I ordered the calash that very instant. Andriushka, the coach- 
 man, asked me where I was going ; but I could not utter a 
 word, and I only stared in his face like a fool. I suppose he 
 must have thought that I was crazy. Ah, Anna Grigorievna, if 
 you only knew how it troubled me ! " 
 
 "But this is very strange," said the charming lady; " what 
 can those dead souls mean ? I must admit that I understand 
 nothing whatever about it. This is the second time that I have 
 heard something about dead souls ; and although my hus- 
 band says that Nozdreflf lies, there is certainly something in it 
 all." 
 
 " But, Anna Grigorievna, imagine my position when I heard 
 this. * And now,' says Mrs. Korobotchka, ' I do not know,' 
 says she, ' what I am to do. He made me sign my name to 
 some counterfeit document, and he flung a fifteen-rouble bank- 
 note at me. I,' she says, ' I am an inexperienced, helpless 
 widow. I know nothing.' Fine doings, indeed ! But if you 
 could gain any conception of how completely I was upset ! " 
 
 " But it can't be any question of dead souls : something else 
 must be concealed behind. 
 
 " I agree with you," said the nice lady, somewhat taken with 
 this idea, and conscious of a strong desire to know what could 
 possibly be concealed behind it all. She even slowly said," And 
 what do you think is concealed in this case ? Come, what do 
 you think ? " 
 
 " But what do you yourself think ? " 
 
 "What do I think? I confess that I am completely be- 
 wildered," replied the nice lady. 
 
 " Still, I should like to know your opinion on the subject." 
 However the nice lady found nothing to say. She was 
 capable of experiencing emotion, but she was not capable of
 
 THE EMOTIONS OF A SMALL TOWN. 149 
 
 forming an accurate theory ; and for that reason she required, 
 more than any other, tender friendly advice. 
 
 " Well, listen to what these dead souls are," said the charm- 
 ing lady ; and at these words her guest concentrated all her 
 faculties on listening. Her little ears stretched forward of 
 themselves ; she partly rose, so that she hardly rested on the 
 sofa ; and, although she was rather heavy, she suddenly be- 
 came thinner, and almost ethereal, like the down which floats 
 in the air. 
 
 " The dead souls — " began the charming lady. 
 
 " Well, what are they ? what are they ? " broke in her visitor, 
 in great excitement. 
 
 " The dead souls — " 
 
 " Ah, speak, for Heaven's sake ! " 
 
 •' Were simply invented as a blind ; but this is the real mat- 
 ter — he wants to carry off the governor's daughter." 
 
 This conclusion was by no means expected by the visitor, and 
 it was certainly remarkable in every respect. The nice lady, on 
 heaving it, became transfigured on the spot, grew paler, pale as 
 death, and felt actually alarmed. 
 
 " Heavens ! " she exclaimed, clasping her hand=. " That is 
 something which I should never have suspected ! " 
 
 " Well, for myself, I guessed what the matter was as soon as 
 you opened your mouth," replied the charming lady. 
 
 "But what are we to think of the way young girls are 
 trained at the Institute after this, Anna Grigorievna ? There's 
 innocence for you ! " 
 
 " Innocence indeed ! I have heard that she says such 
 things as I should never have the courage to utter." 
 
 " Do you know, Anna Grigorievna, it simply breaks one's 
 heart to see to what a pitch immorality has already attained ! " 
 
 " But all the men are wild about her, though I must confess 
 that, to my mind, there is nothing in her." 
 
 " She is intolerably affected." 
 
 " Ah, my life, Anna Grigorievna ; she is a statue, and there 
 is not a particle of expression in her face." 
 
 " Yes, how affected, how affected she is ! Heavens, how affec- 
 ted ! I do not know who taught her, but never in my life have 
 I seen a woman put on so many airs ! " 
 
 " She's a perfect statue, my love, and as pallid as death." 
 
 " Oh, don't say that, Sophia Ivanovna ! She rouges outra- 
 geously." 
 
 " Why, what are you saying, Anna Grigorievna ? She's chalk, 
 chalk, the purest chalk."
 
 150 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 ** My dear, I sat beside her : the rouge on her cheeks is a 
 finger thick, and falls off in cakes like stucco. Her mother 
 taught her to use it : she was a coquette herself, and the 
 daughter will surpass the mother." 
 
 "Well, now, excuse me, but I am ready to sacrifice my chil- 
 dren, my husband, my whole fortune, this very instant, if she 
 uses a single drop, or an atom, or even a shadow, of rouge." 
 
 " Ah ! good heavens, what are you saying, Sophia Ivanovna ? " 
 said the charming lady, clasping her hands. 
 
 "Why, really, Anna Grigorievna, you say such things that I 
 can only stare at you in amazement," said the nice lady, clasp- 
 ing her hands in her turn. 
 
 It may seem strange to the reader that these two ladies 
 should be unable to agree as to what they had seen at almost 
 one and the same time. But this kind of thing happens very 
 frequently. If one lady looks at an object, it turns out per- 
 fectly white ; but let another lady look at it, and it will appear 
 red — red as a cranberry. 
 
 " Now, this', will prove to you that she is pale," went on the 
 charming lady : " I remember now that I was sitting beside 
 Maniloff ; and I said to him, ' See how pale she is ! ' Truly, 
 one needs to be as foolish as our gentlemen are to laud her. But 
 that charmer of ours. Ah, how repulsive he seemed to me ! You 
 cannot conceive, Anna Grigorievna, to what a degree he seemed 
 repulsive to me ! " 
 
 " All the same, there were some ladies who were not entirely 
 indifferent to him." 
 
 " Do you mean me, Anna Grigorievna ? Why, you can never 
 say that, never, never ! " 
 
 " No, I was not speaking of you : just as though there were 
 no one else but you ! " 
 
 " Never, never, Anna Grigorievna ! Permit me to remark to 
 you, that I know myself very well ; but perhaps what you say 
 might be applied to certain ladies who affect to be unap- 
 proachable." 
 
 " You must excuse me, Sophia Ivanovna, and allow me to in- 
 form you that such scandalous statements have never been 
 connected with my name. With some other, possibly, but not 
 with mine ; and you must allow me to tell you so." 
 
 " Why have you taken offence ? There were other women 
 there : there were even some who seated themselves near the 
 door, in order to be nearer to him." 
 
 Now, after these words, spoken by the nice lady, a tempest 
 ought inevitably to have followed ; but, to the intense amaze-
 
 THE EMOTIONS OF A SMALL TOWN. 151 
 
 ment of both ladies, they each suddenly calmed down, and 
 nothing whatever came of it. The charming lady recollected 
 that the dress pattern was not yet in her possession, and the 
 nice lady realised that she had not succeeded in learning all the 
 particulars with regard to the discovery made by her friend. 
 Thus peace speedily ensued. Moreover, it cannot be said of 
 either of the ladies that they experienced any real ill-will to- 
 wards one another. On the whole, there was nothing malicious 
 about their characters : there had merely arisen in the course of 
 conversation a petty desire to prick each other ; one simply 
 indulged in some little pointed word aimed at the other, for en- 
 joyment's sake : " That's for you ! now take it and digest it." 
 The impulses of the heart difler in the female as well as in the 
 male sex. 
 
 " But still I cannot comprehend," now said the nice lady, 
 " how Tchitchikofi", a new-comer, could make up his mind to 
 such an audacious enterprise. It cannot be that he was without 
 confederates." 
 
 •' And you think that there are none ? " 
 
 " But who do you suppose would help him ? " 
 
 " Well, Nozdrefl', for instance." 
 
 " Bo you think Nozdreif would ? " 
 
 "And why not? It would be just like him. You know 
 that he tried to sell his own father, or, rather, to gamble him 
 away at cards." 
 
 " Ah, good Heavens ! what interesting news you tell me ! I 
 should never have imagined that Nozdreff was mixed up in this 
 affair." 
 
 " I have always supposed so." 
 
 "When one thinks of it, really what strange things do hap- 
 pen in the world ! Now, could anyone have imagined, when 
 Tchitchikoff first came to our town, you recollect, that he would 
 create such a strange commotion ? Ah, Anna Grigorievna, if 
 you only knew how thoroughly upset I am ! If it were not for 
 your good-will and friendship. And here we are, on the 
 brink of destruction. Ah ! what is to become of us ? My maid 
 Masha saw me as pale as death just now: ' Dearest mistress,' 
 she says to me, ' you are pale as death.' — ' Never mind, Masha,* 
 I answered. But, so that's the state of things. So Nozdreff is 
 concerned in it ! I am glad to hear that ! " 
 
 The nice lady was extremely anxious to learn some further 
 particulars with regard to the elopement ; that is to say, about 
 the hour at which it was to take place, and so forth. But the 
 charming lady asserted her ignorance in plain terms. She did
 
 152 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 not know how to lie : to suppose anything is another matter, 
 especially when the supposition is founded on inward conviction. 
 Now, when she felt an inward conviction, she knew how to stand 
 up for herself: and if any learned advocate, renowned for his 
 gift of overcoming other people's opinions, had attempted to 
 wage battle with her, he would have speedily found out what an 
 inward conviction signifies. 
 
 It is not at all surprising that the two ladies should at last 
 have firmly convinced themselves of what they had at first 
 taken merely as an assumption. We, the wise men, as we call 
 ourselves, proceed almost in the same fashion ; and our learned 
 judgments serve as a proof of the fact. At first the learned man 
 approaches a problem in a remarkably crafty manner ; he begins 
 timidly, with the most modest of questions : " Whence comes 
 it ? Did not this land receive its name from such and such a 
 place or person?" or, "Does not this document belong to 
 another and a later period ? " or, " Is it not necessary to take 
 this people as meaning that other people ? " He immediately 
 quotes various ancient authors, and as soon as he sees, or 
 merely thinks he sees, a hint, he sets off" at a trot, takes courage, 
 converses with the ancient writers, puts questions to them, and 
 even answers for them himself, wholly forgetting the fact that 
 he began with a timid assumption. It already seems to him that 
 he sees it all, that everything is clear, and his judgment is 
 summed up in the words, " So this is how it was ! So that is 
 the nation we are to understand ! So that is the point from 
 which the subject must be considered ! " Then comes publica- 
 tion from the pulpit or professor's chair ; and the newly dis- 
 covered truth is despatched on its travels through the world, 
 gathering to itself followers and disciples. 
 
 At the very moment when the two ladies had so successfully 
 and cleverly unravelled this whole complicated matter, the pro- 
 curator, with his ever immovable physiognomy, his thick 
 brows and winking ej'es, entered the drawing-room. The ladies 
 vied with each other in communicating all the circumstances to 
 him ; they told him about the purchase of the dead souls, of 
 Tchitchikoff's intention to carry off the governor's daughter, and 
 they contrived to thoroughly confuse him ; so that, in spite of 
 standing for a long time in one and the same place, winking with 
 his left eye, and slapping his chin with his handkerchief, he 
 could make absolutely nothing of it. 
 
 The ladies left him in that condition, and set ofl', each in her 
 own direction, to stir up the town. This enterprise they suc- 
 ceeded in carrying out in little more than half an hour. The
 
 THE EMOTIONS OF A SMALL TOWN. 153 
 
 town was decidedly stirred up : everything was in a ferment, 
 and no one could understand anything about the matter. The 
 ladies had managed to cast such a mist before everyone's eyes, 
 that all the people, and the officials in particular, remained for 
 some time completely bewildered, standing stock-still, with pro- 
 truding eyes, like sheep. The dead souls, the governor's daughter, 
 and Tchitchikoff were merged and mingled in their brains in a 
 wondrously queer fashion. Then, after their first stupefaction, 
 they tried to separate them one from the other. They endeavoured 
 to understand what they had heard, and became enraged on per- 
 ceiving that the atfair would in no wise explain itself What 
 sort of a parable was this story about dead souls ? There was 
 no logic whatever in dead souls ; — how could dead souls be pur- 
 chased ? Where could a fool be found to buy them ? And 
 with what sort of contraband money would he efiect the pur- 
 chase ? And with what object, and to what use could dead souls 
 be applied ? And why mix up the governor's daughter in all 
 this matter. Tchitchikoff might want to run off" with her, but 
 why should he buy dead souls in order to accomplish this ? And 
 if he bought dead souls, then why elope with the governor's 
 daughter ? Did he mean to dower her with the dead souls ? 
 In short, what nonsense was this story which had been dis- 
 seminated throughout the town '? And what sort of a state of 
 things was it, when, before one could even turn round, scandals 
 were set afloat and travelled throughout the place. If there had 
 only been some sense in them. But no. 
 
 However, they had been put in circulation, so, of course, 
 there was some foundation for them. What ! foundation for 
 dead souls ? No, none at all ! It was all stuff and nonsense ! 
 Yes, deuce take it, that, that was all. Meanwhile rumour was fol- 
 lowed by rumour ; and the whole town began talking about dead 
 souls and the governor's daughter, about Tchitchikoft" and dead 
 souls, and about the governor's daughter and Tchitchikoff. The 
 town, which had hitherto seemed to be asleep, was lashed as by 
 a whirlwind. It woke up, too, all the more readily as it was a 
 long time since there had been any news of any description what- 
 ever. For the space of three whole months, nothing had arisen, 
 even of the sort which is designated in capital cities as gossip, 
 and which, as is well known, is equivalent, so far as town life 
 is concerned, to a timely supply of edible provisions. Now that 
 these stories anent our hero became current, two opposing par- 
 ties were instantly formed — the masculine party and the femi- 
 nine party. The masculine party, which was perfectly ridiculous, 
 directed its attention to the dead souls, while the feminine occu-
 
 154 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 pied itself exclusively with the abduction of the governor's 
 daughter. In this party — to the honour of the ladies, it must 
 be remarked — there was incomparably more order and caution. 
 Their vocation was, evidently, to be good and orderly house- 
 wives. With them everything speedily assumed a vivid and de- 
 finite aspect, was clothed in clear and visible form, explained, 
 and sifted : in short, a finished picture was presented. It ap- 
 peared that Tchitchikofi' had been enamoured of the governor's 
 daughter for a long time, and that they had met by moonlight 
 in the garden ; that the governor would even have given our 
 friend his daughter, for Tchitchikofi" was as rich as a Jew, if it 
 had not been for his wife, whom he had abandoned — though 
 where and how they had learned that Tchitchikofi" was married, 
 was more than anyone could say. However, it appeared that 
 his wife, who was sufiering from hopeless love, had written the 
 most touching letters to the governor ; and that Tchitchikofi, 
 on seeing that the girl's father and mother would not give their 
 consent on any terms, had resolved on abduction. In other 
 houses this was narrated somewhat difierently : That Tchitchi- 
 kofi" had no wife at all ; but that, like a clever man, acting on a 
 certainty, he had, in order to obtain the daughter's hand, begun 
 matters with the mother ; that he had carried on an intrigue 
 with her, and that aftei'wards he had made his proposal for the 
 daughter's hand, whereupon the mother, becoming alarmed lest 
 a crime against religion should be committed, and feeling the 
 gnawings of conscience within her soul, had flatly refused ; so 
 that was why Tchitchikofi had decided upon an elopement. 
 
 To all this, many explanations and corrections were added, 
 in proportion as the rumours at length penetrated to the 
 most remote parts of the town. In Kussia, the lower classes 
 are very fond of discussing the scandals which take place in the 
 highest society ; so people began to talk this over in miserable 
 little cabins, where no one knew Tchitchikofi, nor had even 
 set eyes upon him ; and fresh additions, and very extensive 
 explanations, were made. The subject grew more and more 
 absorbing, and assumed a more definite form each day; finally, 
 it was brought to the ears of the governor's wife herself, in all 
 its perfection. 
 
 This lady, as the mother of a family, and the first lady in 
 the town, felt thoroughly insulted by such stories, and flew into a 
 rage, which was in every respect justifiable. The poor little 
 blonde had to undergo the most unpleasant tete-a-tete that ever 
 it fell to the lot of a sixteen-year-old maiden to endure. Whole 
 floods of questions, cross-questions, declarations, threats, re-
 
 THE EMOTIONS OE A SMALL ToWN. 155 
 
 preaches, exhortations ensued, so that the girl burst into tears 
 and sobbed, and could not understand a single word. Mean- 
 while the house porter received strict orders not to admit 
 Tchitchikofi" at any time, or under any circumstances. 
 
 Having accomplished their business so far as the governor's 
 wife was concerned, the ladies made an attack on the masculine 
 party, endeavouring to bring the latter over to their side, and 
 asserting that the dead souls were all a fabrication, and only 
 made use of in order to avert all suspicion, so that the abduction 
 might the more successfully be carried out. Many of the men 
 were actually converted, and went over to the women's side, 
 despite the fact that they were vigorously upbraided by their 
 companions, who heaped upon them the opprobrious names of 
 "women" and "petticoats," which terms, as is well known, 
 are extremely insulting to the male sex. __ 
 
 But arm themselves and resist as they would, there was no 
 such order in the masculine party as there was in the feminine 
 one. Everything with the males was, after a fashion, rude, 
 unpolished, unfitting, awkward, inharmonious, ugly : there was 
 a confusion in their heads, a turmoil, a lack of clearness, a 
 slovenliness about their thoughts ; in short, bare, coarse, heavy 
 nature was therein disclosed, quite unfitted for household man- 
 agement, or for convictions of the heart, incredulous, lazy, 
 filled with incessant doubts and eternal fears. These men said 
 that it was all nonsense ; that the abduction of the governor's 
 daughter was rather the sort of thing a hussar would efl'ect ; that 
 Tchitchikofi", a mere civilian, would not attempt it ; that the 
 women were lying; that the chief point to which attention 
 should be directed was the dead souls, for, after all, the deuce 
 only knew what they meant, though something very low and 
 rascally must be concealed behind them. Why the men thought 
 that something low and rascally was concealed behind them we 
 shall presently learn. 
 
 A new governor-general had been appointed for the province ; 
 and his arrival, as was well known, was bound to create a state 
 of excitement among the officials. There would be a lot of 
 investigations, reprimands, a thorough setting to rights, and all 
 sorts of commotion with which the chief would treat his subor- 
 dinates. " Now, what will happen," thought the functionaries, 
 " if he finds out that these stupid rumours are afloat in the town ? 
 He may on that score alone make our life too hot for us ! " 
 The inspector of the medical institute suddenly turned pale. 
 God knows what fancy assailed him: did not the dead souls 
 signify the patients who hud died in considerable numbers in the
 
 156 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 hospitals and in other places, of an epidemic, against which 
 proper measures had not been taken ? Was not Tchitchikoff 
 some official despatched from the office of the governor-general 
 to institute a secret investigation ? He communicated this idea 
 to the president of the court. The president retorted that that 
 was nonsense, and then immediately turned pale himself, on 
 putting to himself the query. What were the dead souls pur- 
 chased by Tchitchikoff, as a matter of fact ? And he, the presi- 
 dent, had allowed the deeds of sale to be registered, and had 
 even played the part of Pliushkin's confidential agent in the 
 matter. That would come to the governor's ears, and what 
 then ? He had no sooner mentioned this to his friends than they 
 all turned pale : a terror more infectious than the pest was 
 instantly communicated to all the townsfolk. All instantly 
 upbraided themselves for sins which they had never even com- 
 mitted. The words dead soids sounded so indefinite, that they 
 even began to suspect that they contained a hint referring to the 
 over-hasty interment of two dead bodies, a matter of recent 
 occurrence. 
 
 Some Solvuitchegod merchants, who had come to town for 
 the fair, had afterwards joined in a carouse with some friends, 
 merchants from Ustsuisolsko, — a carouse on the Russian plan 
 with orgeat, punch, cordials, and so on. This carouse had ended 
 in a fight, as usual. The Solvuitchegod merchants killed the 
 Ustsuisolsko merchants, although they themselves received a 
 stout drubbing on their ribs, their flanks, and other portions of 
 their bodies, which bore witness to the immeasurably huge fists 
 with which the deceased had been endowed. One of the victors 
 even had his nose split — that is to say, it was completely crushed, 
 so that only aboxit half a finger's length of it remained on 
 his face. The traders had acknowledged their guilt, alleging in 
 excuse that they had been in a kind of frenzy. Rumours then 
 spread abroad that they had redeemed their guilty heads by the 
 oftering of four imperial bank-notes apiece : however, the affair 
 had been wrapped in mystery. It appeared, though, from the 
 inquest subsequently held, that the Ustsuisolsko men had died 
 of sufi'ocation by stove-gas, and so they were buried as persons 
 who had been sufi"ocated. The second instance of recent 
 occurrence was the following : the crown-serfs of the hamlet 
 of Vshivoi-Spyes, uniting with some serfs of the same class 
 belonging to the hamlets of Borovka and Zadirailoff, had anni- 
 hilated the rural police, sweeping them, as it were, from oft' the 
 face of the earth. The alleged reason for this was, that the 
 rural policemen sufiered from weakness in the region of the
 
 THE EMOTIONS OF A SMALL TOWN. 137 
 
 heart, and gazed too attentively at the moujiks' wives and 
 daughters. However, nothing was known for a certainty ; but 
 it resulted that one of the rural policemen was eventually found 
 dead on the highway ; his uniform, or surtout, was torn in 
 rags, and it was impossible to recognise his face. The aflair 
 dragged through the court, and finally reached the upper 
 tribunal, where it was at first decided in secret council to this 
 efi'ect : As it was not known which of the serfs had taken part 
 in the aflair, and as they were tolerably numerous ; and since 
 the policeman was dead, and the serfs were still alive, so that a 
 decision in their favour was of very great importance to them, 
 the matter was resolved thus : It was declared that the 
 policeman himself had been to blame, inasmuch as he had un- 
 justly oppressed the peasants of Vshivoi-Spyes and Zadirailofi"; 
 and it was reported that he had died of an apoplectic stroke 
 while returning home in his sleigh. 
 
 The matter had been thoroughly disposed of, apparently ; 
 but, for some reason or other, the ofiicials began to think that 
 probably the question Avas now of these dead souls. Now, it 
 happened as if expressly, that at the very time when the 
 ofiicials found themselves in such embarrassing circumstances, 
 two documents reached the governor. The contents of one of 
 them was to the efl'ect that, according to reports and informa- 
 tion previously received, there was at that time in the neigh- 
 bourhood a forger of bank-notes, who was hiding himself under 
 various names, and that a strict investigation was to be imme- 
 diately instituted. The other document contained a communi- 
 cation from the governor of a neighbouring province respecting 
 some legal proceedings against a highway robber, and it stated 
 that if any suspicious individual should make his appearance in 
 that region without references or passport, he was to be 
 instantly arrested. These two documents fairly stunned the 
 ofiicials. Their first conclusions and conjectures were entirely 
 wrong. Of course it was quite impossible to suppose that this 
 had any reference to Tchitchikofl": nevertheless, when they all 
 came to think the mattfer over, each one from his own point of 
 view, and when they recollected that, as a matter of fact, they 
 did not in the least know who Tchitchikoff was, that he had 
 expressed himself in a very obscure way with regard to his own 
 person, — had said, in truth, that he had sufiered for the right in 
 the service, though that was far from being explicit, — and when, 
 in addition to all this, they recollected that he had even spoken 
 of having many enemies, who went so far as to even seek his 
 life, then they became yet more thoughtful. His life was iu
 
 158 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 danger, lie was persecuted, consequently he had done some- 
 thing, eh ? And ^Yho was he, after all ? Of course it was im- 
 possible to think that he made counterfeit bank-notes, muchless 
 that he could be a highwayman ; his personal appearance was 
 in his favour ; but with all that, who could he in fact be ? 
 
 Thus the officials now began to put to themselves the query 
 which they should have put in the first instance, — that is to say, 
 in the first chapter of our work. It was decided to make some 
 inquiries of those persons from whom the souls had been pur- 
 chased, in order that one might at least learn what manner of 
 sale it had been, and what was to be understood by these dead 
 souls, and whether our hero had not revealed to someone, unin- 
 tentionally it might be, or in passing, his real intentions, and 
 whether he had not told someone who he really was. First of 
 all, then, the officials addressed themselves to Mrs. Korobotchka, 
 but from her they learned little : he had bought some serfs of her 
 for fifteen roubles, she said, and he had said that he dealt in 
 chickens' feathers, too, and he had promised to purchase all 
 sorts of things ; and he had said he furnished tallow to the 
 treasury, and therefore must be a rascal, for there had been one 
 man already who bought chickens' feathers, and supplied the 
 treasury with tallow, and he had deceived everybody, and had 
 cheated the protopopess out of more than a hundred roubles. 
 All that she said further was nearly a repetition of the same 
 thing, and all that the officials perceived was that Mrs. 
 Korobotchka was simply a stupid old woman. Manilofl" replied 
 to them that he was always ready to answer for Pavel Ivano- 
 vitch as for himself; that he would willingly sacrifice the whole 
 of his property if he could thereby acquire the hundredth part 
 of Pavel Ivanovitch's qualities. Altogether he expressed him- 
 self in the most flattering terms with regard to the latter, 
 adding some reflections on friendship, which he uttered with 
 half-closed eyes. These thoughts sufficiently exhibited, of 
 course, the tender impulses of his heart, but they did not ex- 
 plain the matter in hand to the officials. 
 
 Sobakevitch, on his side, answered that, in his opinion, 
 Tchitchikoflf was a fine man ; that he had sold the latter serfs 
 for export, and that the people were alive in every sense, but 
 that he would not answer for what might happen in the future ; 
 that if they were to die on the road, in consequence of the 
 hardships of transportation, that would be no fault of his, and 
 that God alone is powerful in that matter ; but there are many 
 fevers and other deadly diseases in the world, and cases had 
 been heard of where whole villages had died off. The officials
 
 THE RESULT IS OUR HERO S FLIGHT. 163 
 
 bad recourse to yet another device, which is not quite honour- 
 able, but which is occasionally resorted to — that is to say, they 
 undertook to interrogate Tchitchikoff's servants through their 
 own lackeys, to find out whether the former knew any particulars 
 with regard to the life and circumstances of their master; however 
 on this side they learned nothing. All they elicited from Pet- 
 rushka was a bad smell, and from Selifan that his master had 
 " been in the service of the state in the excise department," and 
 nothing more. A very strange custom obtains with the lower class! 
 of people in Russia : if they are questioned directly about any- \ 
 thing, they never 'remember, they retain nothing whatever in 
 their minds, and answer simply that they do not knoiy ; but if 
 they are interrogated about something else, they drag this in, 
 and narrate it with a multitude of details which one does not 
 care to listen to. All the researches carried out by the officials 
 merely disclosed to them the fact that they knew nothing with 
 certainty as to what Tchitchikofl' was, but that nevertheless 
 Tchitchikofi" must surely be something. They eventually con- 
 cluded to talk the matter over thoroughly, and to arrive at a 
 decision as to what was to be done about it : what measures 
 were to be taken, what our hero really was — whether he was a 
 man whom it was necessary to detain and lay hands upon as 
 being an evil-disposed person, or whether he was a man who 
 could detain and lay hands upon them all as persons of evil 
 intent. With this object, it was proposed that they should all 
 assemble at the house of the chief of police, who is already 
 known to the reader as the father and benefactor of the town. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 THE EESULT IS DUE HEEo's FLIGHT. 
 
 On assembling at the residence of the chief of police, the 
 officials had occasion to remark from each other's appearance 
 that they had all become greatly emaciated by such an amount 
 of care and anxiety. In fact, the appointment of a new 
 governor-general, the arrival of these documents of secret 
 import, and all these rumours, signifying God knows what, — 
 everything had left visible traces of worry upon their coun- 
 tenances, and the swallow-tailed coats of many of them had
 
 180 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 grown perceptibly loose. All had yielded to the effects : the 
 president of the court had grown thin, and the inspector of the 
 Medical Institute had grown thin too ; and a certain Semen 
 Ivanovitch, who was never called by his family name, and who 
 wore upon his index-finger a ring, which he allowed the ladies 
 to look at, even he had grown thin. Of course, as is always 
 the case, there were some of a bold cast of character, who had 
 not lost their presence of mind ; but of such there were very few 
 indeed. The postmaster alone did not modify his usual evenness 
 of character ; and he was always accustomed to say, in such 
 cases, " We know you, you governor-generals ! There may, 
 possibly, be three or four changes in your ranks, but I have 
 been sitting in my place for the last thirty years, ray dear 
 sirs." 
 
 The council which had assembled on the present occasion 
 speedily set to work, but a most incomprehensible lack of 
 decision was evinced in the views of those who had assembled 
 at it. One person said that Tchitchikoff forged imperial bank- 
 notes, and then he added himself, " But perhaps, no — perhaps he 
 is not a counterfeiter." Another asserted that our hero was an 
 official belonging to the govern or- general's chancellery, and 
 immediately added, " However, the deuce only knows what 
 he is : you certainly can't read it on his forehead." All pro- 
 tested against the surmise that he might be a bandit in disguise : 
 they considered that, in addition to his personal appearance, 
 which was respectable in itself, there was nothing in his conver- 
 sation to indicate a man given to deeds of violence. Ail at 
 once the postmaster, after having remained buried in some sort 
 of reflection for the space of several minutes, — either in conse- 
 quence of a sudden inspiration which had illumined his mind, or 
 from some other cause, — unexpectedly exclaimed, " Do j'ou 
 know, gentlemen, who he is ? " The voice in which he uttered 
 this had something about it which caused all to exclaim 
 simultaneously, "Who?" — "This man, gentlemen, is no other 
 than Captain Kopyeikin ! " And when all, with one voice, there- 
 upon inquired "Who is Captain Kopyeikin?" the postmaster 
 said, " What ! you don't know who Captain Kopyeikin is ? " 
 
 They all replied that they had not the least idea who Captain 
 Kopyeikin was. 
 
 The postmaster thereupon began to relate a long story of a 
 half-pay Eussian officer, who, although he had lost an arm and 
 a leg, had some years previously placed himself at the head of 
 a band of robbers in the forests of Ryazan. 
 
 "But excuse me, Ivan Andreitch," said the chief of police,
 
 THE RESULT IS OUH HERo's FLIGHT. 161 
 
 you tell us that Captain Kopyeikin had lost au arm and a leg, 
 whereas Tchitchikofi" — " 
 
 Here the postmaster uttered an exclamation, and dealt him- 
 self a blow on the forehead with the full sweep of his arm, and 
 called himself a calf publicly, in the presence of them all. He 
 could not comprehend how such a circumstance had not 
 occurred to his mind before, at the very beginning of his tale ; 
 and he confessed that the adage was perfectly just, *• The Russian 
 is strong in second thoughts." Nevertheless, a moment later, he 
 began to employ craft, and tried to extricate himself by saying 
 that mechanism had reacheda high degree of perfection in England ; 
 that it was evident, from the newspapers, that a man had invented 
 a wooden leg of such a description that, by the pressure of an 
 imperceptible spring, such legs would bear a person God knows 
 to what regions, so that he could never be found afterwards. 
 
 However, they all entertained strong doubts as to whether 
 Tchitchikoti' was Captain Kopyeikin, and they came to the con- 
 clusion that the postmaster's theory was too far-fetched. Still 
 they had not hit the mark ; and, led on by the postmaster's 
 acute guesses, they wandered still farther from the truth. 
 From among a number of hypotheses, some of which were very 
 clever in their way, one was finally settled upon ; and this, 
 strange to say, was that Tchitchikoff was Napoleon in disguise. 
 Now Englishmen had long been envious, because, forsooth, 
 Russia was so great and extensive ; and some caricatures had 
 even appeai'ed in which a Russian was depicted engaged in 
 conversation with an Englishman. The Englishman was stand- 
 ing and holding a dog behind him with a cord, and, of course, 
 the dog was understood to be Napoleon : " Look out," says the 
 Briton, " if you don't do so-and-so, I'll set the dog on you." 
 And here they had possibly let him loose from the island of St. 
 Helena ; and now he had made his way back to Russia in the 
 shape of Tchitchikofi'. 
 
 Of course the officials did not believe all this, but still they 
 reflected upon it ; and, on scrutinizing the matter, they were of 
 opinion that Tchitchikoli"s face, when he turned and presented 
 his profile to one's gaze, was very much like the portraits 
 of Napoleon. The chief of police likewise, who had served in 
 the campaign of 1812, and had seen Napoleon in the flesh, could 
 not help confessing that the latter was not in the least taller 
 than Tchitchikofi", and that the cast of Napoleon's countenance 
 Avas neither too fat nor too thin. Perhaps some readers 
 will call all this incredible, and the author is also prepared to 
 declare it incredible to please them ; but unfortunately, it all
 
 162 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 took place exactly as narrated. Moreover, it behoves us to 
 remember that all this occurred shortly after the glorious 
 expulsion of the French. 
 
 At that period, all our landed gentry, officials, merchants, 
 shopmen, every man who could read and write, and even un- 
 educated people, had been sworn politicians for at least eight 
 years. "The Moscow News " and "The Son of the Father- 
 land " were mercilessly perused, and reached the last reader in 
 tatters, which were unfit for any use whatever. Instead of the 
 questions, " How much have you sold your oats for per measure, 
 my dear fellow ? " or, " Did you derive some slight benefit from 
 last night's light snow ? " they said, " What do the newspapers 
 state ? Has Napoleon been released from the island again ? " 
 The merchants greatly dreaded this contingency, for they put 
 full faith in the prediction of a certain prophet who had been in 
 jail for the last three years. This prophet had come from no 
 one knows whence, in bast shoes and a sheepskin coat, which 
 smelt horribly of stale fish, and had announced that Napoleon 
 was "Antichrist," and was held fast by a strong chain behind 
 six walls and seven seas, but that hereafter he would break the 
 chain and obtain possession of the whole world. This prophet 
 had been lodged in jail for his prophecy, as he deserved to be ; 
 but nevertheless, the prophecy had done its work, and the 
 merchants were thoroughly alarmed. 
 
 Fora longtime afterwards, during a period of the most profitable 
 transactions even, the merchants discussed " Antichrist" when 
 they betook themselves to the taverns to drink their tea. Many 
 of the officials and of the genuine nobility also involuntarily 
 meditated upon the subject, and being inoculated with mysticism, 
 which, as is well known, was then in high fashion, they per- 
 ceived a special meaning in every letter which composed the 
 name of Napoleon ; many even discovered in it the numbers of 
 the Apocalypse. 
 
 Thus, there was nothing surprising in the fact that the offi- 
 cials involuntarily meditated upon this point. However, they 
 promptly recovered themselves, on perceiving that their fancies 
 were carrying them along too rapidly, and that this was no solu- 
 tion as regards our hero. They thought and they talked, and 
 finally they decided that it would not be a bad idea to ques- 
 tion Nozdrefl" thoroughly, as he had been the first to start the 
 story of the dead souls, and stood, as they said, in intimate rela- 
 tions to TchitchikofF ; consequently, he must know something of 
 the circumstances of our friend's life, and an eflbrt must be made 
 to see what he had to say.
 
 THE RESULT IS OUR HERO S FLIGHT. 163 
 
 So the chief of police wrote Nozdreff a note on the instant, 
 inviting him for the evening ; and a policeman in cavalry-boots, 
 with an attractive bloom upon his cheeks, proceeded immedi- 
 ately, with hasty steps, and holding up his sword, to Nozdreff's 
 lodgings. Nozdreff was engaged with a matter of importance ; 
 for four whole days he had neither emerged from his apartments 
 nor admitted anyone to them, but had received his food through 
 the window, and had even grown pale and green. His business 
 demanded the greatest attention ; it consisted in selecting from 
 several gross of cards a single pack, the most suitable one upon 
 which one might rely as upon a faithful friend. There was work 
 enough still to last two weeks, and during the whole of this 
 period Porfiriy was to clean the bull-pup Avith a certain small 
 brush, and to wash him three times a day in soap and water. 
 Nozdreff was greatly incensed at having his solitude intruded 
 upon ; first he consigned the policeman to the Devil, but when he 
 had read in the chief of police's note that a harvest might be 
 expected, since some novice or other was to be at the even- 
 ing gathering, he instantly calmed down, hastily locked up his 
 room, dressed himself in the first clothes that came to hand, and 
 set out. 
 
 Nozdrefl''s disposition, testimony, and surmises presented 
 such a sharp contrast with those of the officials that the guesses 
 of the latter were upset. This fellow was decidedly a man for 
 whom there existed no doubts whatever, and in exact propor- 
 tion as they exhibited hesitation and timidity, did he display 
 firmness and confidence. He replied to all points without even 
 hesitating, declared that Tchitchikoff had purchased dead souls 
 to the number of several thousands, and that he himself had sold 
 some to him, because he did not see any reason why he should 
 not sell them. To the question, Was not Tchitchikoff' a spy, and 
 was he not attempting to find out something ? Nozdreff replied 
 that ho had already been a spy in their school-days, that he had 
 been called the "attorney-general," and that his comrades (in- 
 cluding himself ) had hustled him about so much that it had been 
 necessarj' to apply two hundred and forty leeches to one of his 
 temples — that is, he had meant to say forty ; the mention of the 
 two hundred had popped out of its own accord. To the ques- 
 tion. Was Tchitchikoff a counterfeiter ? he replied that he was ; 
 and, in that connection, he related an anecdote to illustrate Tchi- 
 tchikoff' s remarkable cleverness — how the authorities, on learn- 
 ing that he had two million roubles' worth of counterfeit 
 bank-notes in his house, had sealed up the building, and set a 
 guard of two soldiers at every door, and how Tchitchikoff had
 
 164 BEAD SOULS. 
 
 changed the notes in the course of one night, so that, when the 
 seals were removed on the following day, it was seen that they 
 were all genuine. To the question, Did Tchitchikoff really 
 intend to kidnap the governor's daughter, and was it true that 
 he himself had undertaken to assist and take part in the enter- 
 prise ? Nozdreff replied that he had assisted, and that, if it had 
 not been for him, nothing would have come of it. Here he tried 
 to catch himself up, perceiving that he had lied quite unneces- 
 sarily, and that he might by this mistake call down misfortune 
 on his head ; however he could not possibly restrain his tongue. 
 
 Moreover, it was difficult to do so, as such interesting details 
 presented themselves that he could by no means keep silent : he 
 even mentioned the name of the village where was situated the 
 parish church in which the marriage was arranged to take place ; 
 namely, the village of Trukhmatchevka : the pope's name, he 
 said, was Father Sidor ; seventy-five roubles was the price to be 
 paid for the service ; and the pope would not have consented 
 had he not frightened him by threatening to denounce him for 
 having married Mikhail, the flour-dealer, to his fellow-god- 
 parent;"' that he had even surrendered his own calash, and had 
 prepared relays of horses at all the stations. These lying par- 
 ticulars extended even to the point of mentioning the names of 
 the postboys. An attempt was made to drop a word about 
 Kapoleon, but the officials repented of their effort ; for Nozdreff 
 furnished them with such a pack of nonsense, destitute of even 
 the slightest semblance of truth, that they all departed, sighing ; 
 the postmaster alone continued to listen for a long while, think- 
 ing that there might, at least, be something more ; but finally 
 even he waved his hand and said, " The deuce knows what 
 it's all about! " And they all of them agreed that, struggle 
 with a bull as much as you like, you will never get any milk 
 from him. 
 
 So the officials were left in a worse position than before, and 
 they could not settle in the least who Tchitchikoff was. 
 
 Tchitchikoff knew nothing whatever of all this. It seemed 
 to happen expressly, that he took a slight cold at that very time, 
 — one of those colds in the head with a slight swelling in the 
 throat, in the distribution of which the climate of many of our 
 provincial towns is extremely lavish. In order that his life 
 might not be cut short, without posterity, which God forbid, he 
 decided that it would be better to keep to his room for two or 
 three days. During these few days he gargled his throat with 
 
 * Godparents are not allowed to marty in the Greek Church.
 
 THE RESULT IS OUR HERO S FLIGHT. 165 
 
 a decoction of milk and figs, which he afterwards ate ; and he 
 wore a little poultice of camomile and camphor bound upon his 
 cheek. As he was desirous of occupying his time in some way, 
 he prepared new and detailed lists of the peasants whom he had 
 recently purchased ; and he even read a volume of the "Duchess 
 de La Valliere," which he had rummaged out of his trunk; 
 looked over divers notes, and other objects in his dressing-case, 
 read his papers over a second time, in a perfunctory way, and 
 felt greatly bored by everything. 
 
 He could not in the least understand what it meant, that not 
 one of the city officials had come even once to inquire after his 
 health, whereas, only a short time before, drozhkies had stood 
 constantly in front of the inn, — now the postmaster's, now the 
 procurator's, and, again, that belonging to the president of the 
 court. He merely shrugged his shoulders as he walked about 
 the room. At length he felt better, and God knows how he 
 rejoiced when he perceived the possibility of going out into the 
 fresh air once more. He set about his toilet without delay, 
 opened his dressing-case, poured some hot water into a glass, took 
 out his brush and soap, and prepared to shave himself ; and, by 
 the way, it was high time that he did so, for, on feeling his 
 chin with his hand, and looking in the glass, he ejaculated, 
 " Eh ! what a forest has sprung up ! " And in fact, it was not 
 a forest, but all over his cheeks and chin a tolerably thick stubble 
 had planted itself. After shaving himself, he set so briskly to 
 work with his toilet, that he nearly leaped out of his trousers. 
 At last he was dressed ; and sprinkled with eau-de-Cologne, and 
 warmly wrapped up, he emerged into the street, after having 
 muffled up his face as a measure of precaution. 
 
 His re-appearance on the scene was really a festive occasion, 
 as it is with every convalescent. Everything which he 
 encountered assumed a smiling aspect, — the houses, the passing 
 moujiks, who were really quite gloomy, however, and one of 
 whom had just succeeded in dealing a comrade a blow on 
 the ear. He intended that his first call should be for the 
 governor. All sorts of thoughts occurred to him on the way : 
 the pretty little blonde was whirling in his brain ; his fancy 
 even began to grow somewhat uncontrollable, and he had 
 already begun to jest and to laugh at himself a little. It was in 
 this frame , of mind that he found himself in front of the 
 entrance to the governor's house. He M'as already in the act 
 of hastily throwing oft' his cloak in the vestibule, when the 
 porter astounded him with the utterly unexpected words, "Not 
 receiving ! "
 
 166 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 *' How ? What do you mean? You evidently do not recog- 
 nise me. Take a good look at my face ! " said Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " Not know you, indeed ! Why, this is not the first time I 
 ever saw you," retorted the porter. "It is precisely you out 
 of all the rest whom I have received orders not to admit : every- 
 one else can enter." 
 
 " You don't say so ! Why, what's the reason ? " 
 
 " Those are my orders, and it's as it should be, evidently," 
 said the porter, and he added the words " so there." After which 
 he stood before Tchitchikoff in a negligent attitude, and without 
 preserving that courteous mien with which he had always 
 hitherto removed our hero's cloak. It seemed as though he were 
 thinking, as he gazed at him, "Oho ! Since the master drives 
 you from his door, you must be some sort of a scamp ! " 
 
 "Incomprehensible," thought Tchitchikoff to himself, and 
 he went straight to the president of the court ; but the president 
 of the court was thrown into such confusion at the sight of him 
 that he could not put two words together, and uttered such 
 nonsense that they both felt ashamed. Try as he would, on 
 leaving, to explain the matter, and to discover what the presi- 
 dent meant, and to what his words referred, Tchitchikoff could 
 not understand anything. 
 
 Then he called on the others — the chief of police, the vice- 
 governor, and the postmaster ; but they either did not receive 
 him at all, or received him so strangely, conducted the conver- 
 sation in such a constrained and incomprehensible way, were so 
 abstracted, and everything turned out so ridiculously, that he 
 began to doubt whether their brains were in a normal condition. 
 He made an attempt to approach someone, in order at least to 
 discover the cause of all this ; but he did not discover if. He 
 wandered aimlessly through the town, like a man only half 
 awake, and quite incapable of deciding whether his wits had 
 forsaken him, whether the officials had lost their heads, whether 
 all this was happening in a dream, or what. It was late, almost 
 twilight, in fact, when he returned to his inn, whence he had 
 emerged in such an agreeable frame of mind, and ordered tea to 
 be brought, out of sheer dulness. He had begun thoughtfully 
 pouring out his tea, absorbed in a sort of meditation as to the 
 peculiarity of his position, when the door of his chamber 
 suddenly opened, and Nozdreff stood before him in a wholly 
 unexpected manner. 
 
 "What says the proverb? Seven versts is the immediate 
 neighbourhood to friends ! " remarked Nozdreff, doffing his cap : 
 " As I was passing by, I espy a light in your window. ' Come ! '
 
 THE RESULT IS OUR HERO S FLIGHT. 167 
 
 I think to myself, ' I'll go in ! he certainly can't be asleep.' 
 And it's a good thing that you have some tea on the table : I'll 
 drink a cup with pleasure. I had all sorts of vile stuff for 
 dinner to-day, and I feel a row beginning in my stomach. 
 Order a pipe to be filled for me. Where's your pipe ? " 
 
 " I don't smoke a pipe," said Tchitchikotf. 
 
 " Stuff ! As if I didn't know that you were a smoker. Hey, 
 there ! What's his name ? what do you call your man ? Hey, 
 there, Vakhramei, listen ! " 
 
 "His name is not Vakhramei, but Petrushka." 
 
 " What ? Well, you used to have a Vakhramei ? " 
 
 " I never had a Vakhramei." 
 
 " Yes, exactly : it was Derebiu who had a Vakhramei. Fancy 
 what luck Derebin has : his aunt has quarrelled with her son 
 because he has married a serf-girl, and now she has bequeathed 
 all her property to Derebin. Thinks I to myself, 'If I only 
 had an aunt like that, even a distant one ! ' But what's the 
 matter with you, my dear fellow, that you have been keeping 
 aloof from everybody, and have not been anywhere ? Of course 
 I know that 5'ou are occasionally engaged in learned pursuits, 
 that you are fond of reading." (From what premises Nozdreff 
 drew his conclusions that Tchitchikoff occupied himself with 
 learned subjects, and that he was fond of reading, we cannot in 
 the least divine, and Tchitchikoff' still less.) " Ah, brother 
 Tchitchikoff! if you only knew, it really would furnish food 
 for your satirical humour." (Why Tchitchikoff had a satirical 
 mind is also unknown.) " Fancy, my dear fellow, they were 
 playing at gorka at the house of Likhatcheft', the merchant : 
 that's where the laugh comes in! Perependeft" was with me. 
 ' Look here,' says he, ' if Tchitchikoff' were here now, this would 
 just suit him ! ' " (Tchitchikoff, by the way, had never known 
 any Perependeff in his life.) "And confess, my dear fellow, 
 that you behaved very meanly, you know, when — when you 
 played that game of draughts with me. For I won. Yes, my 
 dear fellow, you simply diddled me. But the deuce knows, I 
 can't cherish ill-will. The other day, at the president of the 
 court's — but stop ! I must tell j-ou, that the whole town is 
 arrayed against you. They think that you make counterfeit 
 money, and have appealed to me ; but I defended you with all 
 my might. I told them that I had been to school with you, 
 and knew your father : well, there's no use in particularizing, 
 but I told a lot of lies." 
 
 " I make counterfeit money ! " shrieked Tchitchikoff", spring- 
 ing from his chair.
 
 168 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " But why did you frighten them so ? " went on Nozdreff. 
 "The deuce knows, they nearly went out of their nainds with 
 terror : they made you out to be a spy and a highwayman. And 
 the procurator has died of fright : his funeral will take place to- 
 morrow. You won't attend it, eh ? To tell the truth, they are 
 afraid of a new governor- general. But you have certainly under- 
 taken a very risky business, Tchitchikoff." 
 
 " What risky business ? " inquired Tchitchikoff uneasily. 
 
 " Why, the abduction of the governor's daughter. I must 
 confess that I expected it : by heavens, I expected it ! The 
 very first time when I saw you together at the ball, ' Well, now,' 
 I thought tom5'self, ' Tchitchikoff is not doing that fornothing ! ' 
 But it's useless for you to make such a choice : I can't see any- 
 thing pretty about her. Still, there is one girl worth having, a 
 relative of Bikusoff's, his sister's daughter ; and such a girl, too! 
 One may really call her a wonderful piece of calico ! " 
 
 " But what are you saying ? What crack-brained affair is this ? 
 What do you mean by abducting the governor's daughter ? " 
 said Tchitchikoff, staring with all his eyes. 
 
 *' Come, enough of that, my dear fellow ! What a reserved 
 man you are ! I admit that I came to you about this very matter : 
 I am ready to assist you if you like. So be it : I will hold the 
 crown over you,* the calash and relays of horses shall be my 
 care, but on one condition — that you will lend me three thou- 
 sand roubles. I must have them, my dear fellow, or cut my 
 throat." 
 
 While Nozdreff was rattling on in this strain, Tchitchikoff 
 wiped his eyes several times, with a desire to convince himself 
 whether he was listening to all this in a dream. The manufac- 
 ture of counterfeit bank-notes ; the abduction of the governor's 
 daughter ; the death of the procurator, of which he was said to 
 be the cause ; the arrival of a governor-general — all this pro- 
 duced a tolerably violent alarm in his breast. " Well, if it has 
 come to this," he thought to himself, " there's no time to waste ; 
 I must get away from here as speedily as possible." 
 
 He then got rid of Nozdreff as promptly as he could, sum- 
 moned Selifan at once, and ordered him to be ready at day- 
 break, so that they might leave town at six o'clock on the 
 next morning, without fail ; everything was to be thoroughly in- 
 spected, the britchka greased, and so forth, and so forth. Seli- 
 fan ejaculated, " I obey you, Pavel Ivanovitch ! " but all the 
 same he halted for some time motionless at the door. Our hero 
 
 * Crowns are held above the heads of the bride and bridegroom during 
 the marriage ceremony in the Greek Church,
 
 DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 169 
 
 then immediately commanded Petrushka to pull out his trunk 
 from under the bed — where it was covered with dust — and 
 together they immediately set to work packing it with socks, 
 shirts, linen, both clean and soiled, boot-jacks, and calendars, 
 all of which were thrown in as they came to hand, without much 
 attempt at arrangement. Our hero wanted to be ready that 
 evening without fail, in order that no delay might occur on the 
 following morning. After standing for a couple of minutes at 
 the door, Selifan had slowly left the room. Slowly, as slowly 
 as it is possible to conceive of, he descended the staircase, im- 
 printing traces of his wet boots on the well-worn steps, and in 
 his surprise he scratched the back of his head with his hand for 
 a long time thereafter. 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 
 
 Everything was to have been ready at daybreak, and at 6 a.m. 
 Tchitchikoflf was to have passed through the city gates. Nothing, 
 however, happened as he had anticipated. In the first place, he 
 woke up later than he had intended : this was the first unplea- 
 santness. On rising, he immediately sent to learn whether his 
 britchka was harnessed, and whether all was in readiness ; but 
 it was reported to him that the britchka was not yet harnessed, 
 and that nothing was ready : this was the second unpleasant- 
 ness. He then flew into a rage, and even made preparations to 
 administer a sound thrashing to our friend Selifan, merely 
 waiting, in impatience, until the latter should allege some 
 excuse in his own defence. Selifan soon made his appearance 
 at the door, and his master had the pleasure of listening to the 
 discourses which masters generally hear from their servants 
 whenever it is necessary for one to set out in haste. 
 
 "It will be necessary to have the horses shod, Pavel Ivano- 
 vitch." 
 
 " Ah, you young pig ! you blockhead ! Why didn't you say 
 so before ? Wasn't there time ? " 
 
 " Yes, there was plenty of time. And there's the wheel, too, 
 Pavel Ivanovitch : the tire will have to be replaced, for the roads 
 are full of ruts now, and there will he a great strain on it every- 
 where. And I wanted to report that the dashboard is all 
 rickety, so that it will probably not last for two stages,"
 
 170 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " You villain ! " shouted TchitcMkoff, wringing his hands, and 
 approaching the servant sq closely that Selifan retreated, for 
 fear that he might receive a blow from his master. 
 
 " Have you sworn to murder me ? hey ? " shouted our hero. 
 " Do you wish to cut my throat ? Yes, have you made up your 
 mind to cut my throat on the highway, you bandit, you hog, 
 you marine scarecrow ? hey ? hey ? We have been settled here 
 three weeks, haven't we, hey ? And you never gave a hint, you 
 good-for-nothing, of all this, and now you bring it out at the last 
 moment, when we're almost on the very point of starting ! You 
 meant to mount and set out, did you, hey ? And you concealed 
 it, hey, hey ? Of course you knew it all before ? You knew it, 
 hey ? hey ? Answer me ! You knew it, hey ? " 
 
 " I knew it," replied Selifan, dropping his head. 
 
 " Then why didn't you say so, hey ? " g 
 
 To this question Selifan made no reply, but he seemed to be 
 saying to himself, as he stood with drooping head, " Just see 
 how nasty it has all turned out ; I knew it, and like a stupid I 
 did not tell it." 
 
 " Now go and fetch the blacksmith," retorted our hero, " and 
 let everything be finished in two hours.- Do you hear ? in two 
 hours without fail ; and if it is not, I'll give you, I'll — I'll twist 
 you into a horn — I'll tie you up in a knot ! " As will be seen 
 by this language our hero was deeply incensed. 
 
 Selifan turned to the door, with the intention of carrying out 
 his instructions ; but suddenly he halted, and said, " One thing 
 more. That piebald horse ought to be sold, Pavel Ivanovitch, 
 for he's a regular villain : he's such fi horse, that if you keep 
 him — may God protect us from mishap, that's all I say ! " 
 
 " Yes ! Of course I'll go — I'll run to the market, and sell 
 him ! " 
 
 "By Heavens, Pavel Ivanovitch, he's only fine in appear- 
 ance. In reality, he's the most vicious horse I know ; such a 
 horse is worth nothing." 
 
 " You idiot ! When I want to sell him, I'll sell him. You 
 have set to arguing again, I see ! I'll attend to that. If you 
 don't fetch the blacksmith instantly, and if everything is not 
 ready in two hours, I'll give you such a thrashing that you won't 
 be able to look yourself in the face afterwards ! Gro ! march 1 " 
 Thereupon Selifan left the room. 
 
 Tchitchikofi" broke into a violent rage, and flung down the 
 sword which he carried about with him on his journeys, for the 
 purpose of inspiring fear whenever necessary. He excited him- 
 self with the blacksmith for about a quarter of an hour before he
 
 DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 171 
 
 came to terms ; for all blacksmiths are barefaced rogues, and 
 this one, on perceiving that despatch was required, demanded 
 six times the worth of the job. Kage as our hero would ; call 
 him villain, thief, a robber of travellers ; hint as he would of the 
 Day of Judgment — the blacksmith would not yield in the least : 
 he thoroughly maintained his character, and not only refused to 
 abate the price, but even loitered over the work for five hours 
 and a half instead of two. 
 
 During this interval our friend had the satisfaction of passing 
 through those agreeable moments, familiar to every traveller, 
 when everything is packed up in his trunks, and when only some 
 bits of cord and paper, and a variety of rubbish is strewn about 
 his room — when he neither belongs to the road nor to home, 
 but gazes from his window upon the passers-by threading their 
 w5,y along, discussing or thinking over their money affairs, and 
 raising their eyes in stupid curiosity at him, and then, after one 
 glance, pursuing their road. Everything in existence — every- 
 thing that he beholds — the little shop opposite his Avindow, and 
 the old woman who lives in the house over the way, and who 
 approaches her short-curtained window to look at him — every- 
 thing is hateful to him ; still he does not retreat from his own 
 window. There he stands, now shivering, again directing his 
 troubled attention upon everything before him ; and in his vexa- 
 tion at having to wait, he crushes perchance a fly which has 
 been buzzing and beating against the pane, just beneath his 
 finger. 
 
 But there is an end to all things, and with our hero the 
 longed-for moment at last arrived ; all was ready ; the dash- 
 board of the britchka had been properly repaired, the wheel was 
 provided with a new tire, the horses were led back from the 
 watering-trough, and the rascally blacksmiths had taken their 
 departure, counting their sUver roubles, and wishing our friend 
 a good journey as they went. At length the britchka was 
 packed; two hot kalatchi, '■' jnst purchased, were put in; and 
 Selifan had already thrust something for himself into his pocket, 
 as he sat on the box. Finally our hero seated himself in his 
 equipage ; while the waiter of the inn, clad in his stout cotton 
 surtout, waved his cap ; and the lackeys, coachmen, and others 
 who had assembled gazed at the departure of the strange 
 gentleman. Then, amid all the other incidents which accom- 
 pany an exit, the britchka, which had remained for so long a 
 time in the town, and which has possibly so greatly wearied 
 the reader, emerged from the gate of the inn. 
 * Meat patties,
 
 172 DEAD SOULS, 
 
 " Glory to God ! " thought TchitchikofF, and he crossed him- 
 self. Selifan cracked his whip ; Petrushka mounted beside him, 
 after first hanging on the step for awhile ; and our hero, in- 
 stalling himself as comfortably as possible, and wrapping him- 
 self in his Georgian rug, placed a leather pillow behind his back, 
 and closely hugged the hot meat-pies. The equipage began 
 dancing and jolting about, owing to the pavement, which, seem- 
 ingly, possessed a power of projection. Our hero gazed with un- 
 defined feelings at the houses, the garden-walls, and the streets, 
 which, on their side, seemed to leap as they retreated slowly 
 behind him, and which, perchance, he would never behold again 
 during the whole course of his existence. 
 
 As they turned into a fresh street, the britchka was forced to 
 come to a halt, -for an interminable funeral procession was 
 passing along. Tchitchikoflf thrust out his head, and ordered 
 Petrushka to inquire who was being buried, and he learned that 
 it was the procurator. Full of unpleasant feelings he promptly 
 hid himself in a corner, covered himself with his rug, and 
 drew the curtain. When the equipage was thus brought to a 
 standstill, Selifan and Petrushka, reverently removing their hats, 
 took observations as to who were there., in and on what they 
 rode, and how many of them there were in all, including both 
 foot-mourners and persons in carriages. Their master, after 
 giving them strict orders not to recognise anyone, or to salute 
 any of their lackey friends, also began peeping through the 
 small pane of glass which was set in his leather curtain. 
 
 Behind the coffin marched all the officials, with their heads 
 bare. He began to fear that they might recognise his equipage, 
 but they were not thinking of that. They did not even engage 
 in those various worldly discussions, such as the people who 
 accompany a corpse generally indulge in. Their minds were 
 centred upon themselves at that juncture of affairs : they were 
 wondering what sort of a person the new governor-general 
 would be, how he would take hold of matters, and how he would 
 treat them. After the officials, who were on foot, followed 
 some coaches, from which gazed ladies in mourning caps. It 
 was obvious, from the movements of their lips and hands, that 
 they were engaged in a brisk conversation : possibly they also 
 were discussing the coming of the new governor-general, enun- 
 ciating hypotheses with regard to the balls which he would give, 
 and also worrying about their everlasting scallops and gimp. 
 
 After the coaches followed several empty drozhkies in single 
 file, till finally no more remained, and our hero could proceed. 
 He heaved a sigh of relief as he parted the leather curtains, and
 
 DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 173 
 
 heartily ejaculated, " So that's the procurator ! He has lived, 
 and now he has died ; and now they will print in the neAvs- 
 papers that he died regretted hy his subordinates and by all 
 mankind, a respected citizen, a wonderful father, a model 
 husband ; and soon they will no doubt add that he was accom- 
 panied to his grave by the tears of widows and orphans ; but, in 
 sooth, when one comes to examine the matter thoroughly, all 
 one will find in confirmation of these statements is that he had 
 wonderfully thick eyebrows ! " At this juncture our friend 
 ordered Selifan to drive on as rapidly as possible ; and then he 
 said to himself, " It's as well, on the whole, that we met the 
 funeral procession : they say that it presages good luck to meet 
 a corpse." 
 
 Meanwhile the britchka had turned into some more deserted 
 streets : soon only some long dark wooden fences stretched out on 
 both sides, heralding the city limits. And then the pavement 
 came to an end, and the barriers and the town were left behind. 
 Now, there is nothing more before them, and they are again on 
 the high road. And again, on either side, huge stones mark the 
 versts ; there' are the supervisors of post-stations to be seen, to- 
 gether with wells, peasants' carts, gray hamlets, brisk women, and 
 bearded men running from the post-houses with bags of oats in 
 their hands. A pedestrian in bast shoes, worn into holes, who 
 has wandered eight hundred versts, is met ; then come little 
 towns, nicely built, with tiny Avooden shops containing barrels 
 of flour, bast shoes, meat-pies, and other trifles ; then there are 
 bridges and fields stretching as far as the eye can reach. The 
 antique equipages of the landed gentry come along ; next 
 appears a soldier mounted on a horse, and carrying a green 
 cotter with a leaden plate, which bears the inscription, " Such- 
 and-such a battery of artillery ; " strips of land, green, yelloAV, 
 and black, are visible here and there on the steppe ; songs re- 
 sound afar ; crests of pine-trees peer forth amid the mist ; the 
 tolling of a bell dies away in the distance ; crows fly across the 
 sky as plentiful as flies, and beyond these stretches an illimitable 
 horizon. 
 
 As our friend Tchitchikofi" drove along he indulged in sundr)^ 
 day-dreams. At the outset he felt nothing, and only gazed 
 behind him, desirous of assuring himself that he had really 
 emerged from the town ; but when he saw that the town had 
 long since disappeared from view, that neither a smithy, a mill, 
 nor any of those things which are found in the vicinity of towns 
 was visible, that even the Avhite steeples of the stone churches 
 had, as it were, long since sunk into the earth, he devoted his
 
 174 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 attention to the road alone, glancing to right and left. The 
 
 town of N became in his memory as though it had never 
 
 existed, — ^"as though he had merely passed through it long, long 
 ago, in the days of his childhood. At length, even the road 
 ceased to occupy him ; and he began to close his eyes, and to 
 recline upon his pillow. The author is glad that such was the 
 case, since it affords him an opportunity to speak of his hero ; 
 for so far, as the reader has seen, he has been constantly 
 hindered in this design, — now by Nozdreff, now by balls, then 
 by the ladies, then by the town gossip, — in short, by a thousand 
 of those matters which seem mere trifles when transferred to a 
 book, but which are regarded as extremely important affairs 
 when they actually take place. But we will now lay them com- 
 pletely on one side, and occupy ourselves with our hero's 
 antecedents. 
 
 His origin was obscure and modest. His parents belonged to 
 the nobility, but whether to the ancient aristocracy or to the 
 nobility by right of office, God only knows. He did not re- 
 semble them in features : at all events, a female relative who 
 was present at his birth exclaimed, as she took him in her 
 arms, " He has not turned out at all as I expected ! He ought 
 to look like his grandmother on his mother's side, and it would 
 have been better so ; but he has been born just as the proverb 
 says, neither like mother nor like father, but like some passing 
 youth." 
 
 Life gazed rather sourly and unpleasantly on him at first, 
 through a dim little window with the snow piled against it : he 
 had neither friend nor comrade in his childhood. A tiny room, 
 with little windows which were opened neither in winter nor 
 in summer ; his invalid father in a long surtout lined with lamb- 
 skin, and knitted slippers, who sighed incessantly as he paced 
 up and down and spat in the sand-box in the corner ; intermin- 
 able sittings on a form with a pen in his hand, and ink on both 
 his fingers and his lips ; the constantly repeated precept, "Never 
 lie, but obey your elders, and bear your benefactor in your 
 heart ; " a never-ceasing scraping and scuffling about the room ; 
 a familiar but always surly voice, "You have been at your 
 pranks again! " which echoed through the apartment whenever, 
 weary of the monotony of work, he added some flourish or 
 tail to a letter ; and an equally familiar and always unpleasant 
 sensation, when these words were followed by the twisting of 
 his ears, — behold here the dismal picture of his childhood and 
 early youth, of which his memory barely retained a faint 
 image.
 
 DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 175 
 
 But everything in life is subject to sudden and lively changes : 
 and one day, with the first spring sunshine and shower, the 
 father took his son, and set out with him in a telyega, drawn 
 by a gaunt piebald horse. The coachman who drove this 
 animal was a little humpback, the head of the only family of 
 serfs owned by Tchitchikoft's father, and who occupied himself 
 with nearly all the duties of the household. They drove along 
 with the piebald for more than a day and a half; they passed 
 the night on the road, crossed a river, lunched on some cold 
 meat-pie and roast mutton, and only reached the city on the 
 morning of the third day. 
 
 Before the boy's eyes shone the streets of the city in un- 
 expected splendour, making him keep his mouth open for 
 several minutes. The piebald, in company with the telyega, 
 tumbled into a hole near a narrow alley, which inclined down- 
 wards, and was blocked up with mud ; then for a long time the 
 animal laboured there with all its might, splashed about with 
 its legs, aided by the hunchback, and even by the master him- 
 self, and finally they reached a small courtyard, with two dilapi- 
 dated apple-trees in front of a little old house with a narrow 
 back garden, planted only with wild cherry-trees and lilacs, 
 and concealing in its depths a wooden sentry-box v/hich was 
 full of rubbish, and had a dim, narrow window. 
 
 In this house dwelt a relative of theirs, a little witherod-up 
 old woman, who still went to market every morning, and after- 
 wards dried her stockings on her samovar. She tapped the 
 little lad on the cheek, and admired his plumpness. With her 
 he was to remain, whilst attending the classes every day at the 
 college of the town. His father passed the night there, and 
 set out homewards on the following day. No tears were shed 
 by his parent when they parted : the boy was given half a 
 rouble in copper as pocket-money, and, what is much more 
 important, some very wise advice : " Look here, Pavlusha, 
 study well, don't be stupid, and don't play tricks," said his 
 father. " Most of all, please your teachers and your superiors. 
 If you please your teachers, you will get into the right road 
 and distance all the others, even if you do not succeed in the 
 sciences, and even if God has not endowed you with any talent. 
 Don't associate with your comrades, they will teach you no 
 good ; but if it must be so, then associate with those who are 
 the wealthiest, and who can be of the most service to you in case 
 of need. Do not make any presents, nor treat any one, but 
 rather behave so that others may give you presents. Save all 
 you can : that is the surest recipe in the world. Your friends
 
 176 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 or comrades Would cheat you, and in adversity tliey would be 
 the first to betray you ; but money will never betray you, no 
 matter in what straits you may be. You can do everything, 
 you can accomplish anything in the world, with money." After 
 bestowing this advice upon our hero, his father took leave of 
 him, and dragged himself home again, behind his piebald. 
 From that day forth Tchitchikoff' never beheld his parent again ; 
 but his words and exhortations had sunk deep into his soul. 
 
 Pavlusha began to attend the classes on the very next day. Ho 
 did not appear to have any especial capacity for any particular 
 branch of learning ; he merely distinguished himself by his 
 diligence and cleanliness ; but, in compensation, he exhibited 
 great talents in another direction — that of practical life. He 
 divined or comprehended a matter on the instant, and con- 
 ducted himself in such a manner that his comrades actually did 
 give him presents ; and he not only never gave them any, but 
 sometimes he even hoarded up their gifts, and afterwards sold 
 them back to them. 
 
 While still a child, he learned how to deny himself every- 
 thing. He did not spend a copeck of the half-rouble which his 
 father had given him : on the contrary, he made an addition to 
 it that same year, which displayed uncommon skill. He 
 moulded a bullfinch out of some wax, coloured it, and sold it at 
 a good profit. Then, in the course of time, he entered into 
 other speculations, and this is what they consisted in : he 
 purchased some eatables in the market, seated himself in the 
 class near those who had the most money, and as soon as he 
 observed one of his companions growing weary — which was a 
 sign of approaching hunger — he thrust some gingerbread or a 
 roll into his hand, under the form, as though by accident ; 
 having thus incited his schoolfellow, he demanded payment in 
 proportion to his appetite. For two months also he toiled in his 
 own quarters in training a mouse, which he had shut up in a 
 little wooden cage ; and at length he succeeded to such a degree, 
 that the mouse stood on its hind-legs, lay down, and rose up at 
 the word of command ; and then he sold it in an advantageous 
 manner. When he had amassed money to the amount of five 
 roubles or so, he made a little bag for it, and began to hoard up 
 his cash. 
 
 He behaved with even more sagacity in the case of his 
 superiors. No one knew how to sit upon a form more quietly 
 than he. It must here be remarked that his teacher was a great 
 lover of quietness and good conduct, and that he could not 
 endure the clever and witty boys ; it seemed to him as though
 
 DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 177 
 
 they must infallibly be laughing at him. It sufficed for any 
 youngster, who had caused himself to be remarked for clever- 
 ness, to make the slightest movement, or unintentionally con- 
 tract his eyebrows, for the teacher to fall suddenly upon him. 
 He would persecute and punish the youngster unmercifully. 
 " I'll drive the conceit and disobedience out of you, my lad!" 
 he said : "I know you through and through, better than you 
 know yourself. Here, go down on your knees to me ! You 
 shall go hungry ! " And the poor boy would have to rub his 
 knees, and fast for twenty-four hours, without knowing why. 
 " Capacity and talent ! that's all nonsense ! " the master was 
 wont to say : " I only look at conduct. I will give full marks in 
 all the branches to the boy who does not even know the first letter 
 of the alphabet, provided he behaves himself in a praiseworthy 
 way ; and I'll give bad marks to the boy in whom I perceive 
 an inclination to ridicule or an evil disposition, even although 
 he could grasp Solon by the belt and throw him." 
 
 Thus spoke this teacher, who to the day of his death never 
 loved Kruilofi/'' because the latter had said, " Drink if you be so 
 inclined, but attend to study and business." This teacher was 
 always relating with glee that in the academy where he had 
 ruled before he came to that school, such silence reigned that 
 you could hear the flies fly about ; and, he added, that not one 
 of the pupils, the whole year round, ever coughed or blew his 
 nose in school-time ; in fact, it was impossible to tell whether 
 there was anyone in the room or not. 
 
 Tchitchikoft' quickly caught the teacher's spirit, and his idea 
 as to what constituted good behaviour. He never moved an 
 eye or an eyebrow all the time that the class lasted, no matter 
 how much the others might pinch him behind. As soon as the 
 bell rang, he rushed headlong so as to be the first to hand the 
 teacher his three-cornered hat, for the teacher wore one of that 
 description, And then our hero was the first to leave the class- 
 room, and contriving to encounter the master three times on 
 the way, he pulled ofi" his cap repeatedly. These manoeuvres 
 were completely successful. During the whole of his stay at 
 that school, he received excellent marks ; and on leaving it, 
 he obtained a certificate of thorough acquirements in all branches 
 of knowledge, and a book, with an inscription in gilt letters, 
 " for exemplary diligence and admirable conduct." 
 
 On emerging from the academy, he found himself a youth of 
 sufficiently attractive personal appearance, and with a chin 
 which required shaving. At this juncture his father died. His 
 * A famous llussian writer of fables.
 
 178 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 inheritance proved to consist of four badly-worn waistcoats, two 
 ancient surtouts lined with lambskin, and an insignificant sum 
 of money. Evidently his father had not been expert in accu- 
 mulating copecks. Tchitchikofi" sold the venerable little house 
 and the insignificant bit of land attached to it for a thousand 
 roubles, and transported his seven serfs to town, with the inten- 
 tion of settling there and entering the official service. 
 
 At this juncture the poor teacher — the lover of silence and 
 laudable conduct — was turned out of the academy for stupidity, 
 or for some other fault. Then in grief he began to drink, 
 and at length he had no money to purchase any liquor with : 
 ill, without a mouthful of bread, or any assistance, he descended 
 very low, to some God-forsaken, unwarmed kennel. His former 
 pupils, the clever and bHlliant ones, in whom he had continually 
 detected disobedience and conceited behaviour, on learning of 
 his pitiable condition, immediately collected some money for him, 
 selling several things of their 6Wn for that purpose, Pavlusha 
 Tchitchikofi" alone declined to give anything, on the score of 
 poverty, though at last he ofi'ered a five-copeck silver piece, 
 which his comrades instantly flung away, saying, " Oh you 
 miser ! " The poor teacher covered his face with his hands 
 when he heard of such an act on the part of his former pupils ; 
 tears poured from his dim eyes in a torrent, as though he had 
 been a weak child. " God has brought me to tears on my death- 
 bed ! " he exclaimed, in a feeble voice ; and he sighed heavily 
 on hearing about Tchitchikofi", and immediately added, "Ah, 
 Pavlusha ! How a man changes ! Surely he was very well 
 behaved ! There was nothing boisterous about him — he was 
 like silk. Ah ! he deceived me, deceived me ! " 
 
 It is impossible to assert, however, that our hero's nature was 
 so grim and harsh, that his feelings were dulled to such a degree, 
 that he tnew neither pity nor sympathy ; he felt both the one 
 and the other : he was even desirous of assisting the teacher, 
 only not to the extent of a considerable sum of money, lest he 
 might have to encroach upon the hoard which he had made up 
 his mind not to touch. In short, his father's exhortation, " Save 
 and amass money," had been of some avail. He had no actual 
 love for money for the sake of money itself : he was not actuated 
 by miserliness and greed. No, but life gleamed before his eyes, 
 with all its pleasures, with all its possibilities : equipages, a 
 handsomely mounted establishment, savoury dinners — it was 
 all that which was constantly passing through his brain. So as 
 to secure in the course of time all these things without fail, he 
 saved up his money, denying it to himself and to others for a space.
 
 DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 179 
 
 When a wealthy man drove past him in an elegant drozhky, 
 ■with trotters in rich harness, he halted as though rooted to the 
 spot ; and when he came to himself, as though after a long 
 dream, he said, " And that man was formerly a shop-clerk, and 
 wore his hair cut in a ring! "'•' Everything which smacked of 
 wealth or ease produced upon our hero an impression which was 
 inexplicable, even to himself. 
 
 On leaving the academy, he did not even care to take a 
 holiday, so sti'ong within him was his desire to set to work and 
 enter the service. Nevertheless, in spite of his laudatory 
 credentials, he had great difficulty in obtaining a situation in 
 the department of justice. Even in the most remote corners of 
 the land, influence is required. At last he obtained an insig- 
 nificant little place : the salary was only thirty or forty roubles 
 a year. But he resolved to apply himself ardently to his duties, 
 to conquer and to overcome everything. And in fact, he dis- 
 played great self-sacrifice and patience, and incredible economy 
 even as regards the necessaries of life. From early morning 
 until late at night he wrote, straining every power of mind and 
 body, and wholly absorbed in the duties of his post. He did not 
 go home, he slept on the tables in the office ; he sometimes took 
 his meals with the watchmen ; and withal, he managed to re- 
 main clean, to dress respectably, to communicate a pleasant ex- 
 pression to his face, and something even noble to his movements. 
 
 It must be stated that the officials in the department of 
 justice were especially distinguished for their lack of comeliness 
 and for their deficiency of understanding. Some of them had 
 faces looking exactly like badly baked bread : one fellow's 
 cheeks were swollen, another's chin was twisted up, the upper lip 
 of a third had swollen like a bladder, and burst ; in short, such 
 faces were not handsome at all. Tbey all spoke, too, in a surly 
 way, in voices which seemed to indicate that they were on the 
 point of beating someone ; and they frequently sacrificed to 
 Bacchus, thus demonstrating that a large remnant of heathendom 
 still lingers in the nature of the Slav. At times they even 
 entered the offices in a drunken condition, which rendered the 
 offices unpleasant, and the air anything but aromatic. 
 
 Among such officials Tchitchikoft" could not fail to attract 
 attention and to be distinguished from the rest, presenting, as 
 he did, a complete contrast, both as to his comely countenance, 
 the courtesy of his voice, and his entire abstinence from all 
 strong liquors. Yet, despite all this, his path was a thorny one. 
 
 * Referring to the circular mode of cutting the hair among low-clasa 
 Russians.
 
 180 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 He had fallen upon a superior who was very antiquated in his 
 customs, who prided hiraself on his stony insensibility ; and who 
 was eternally the same, always unapproachable. Never in his life 
 had a smile dawned on his face, never had he once greeted any- 
 one with an inquiry as to his health. No one had ever beheld 
 him otherwise, whether in the street or at his own house ; 
 never once had he shown any interest in anything. Ah ! if he 
 had only drunk himself drunk for once, and in his intoxication 
 have indulged in a laugh ! if he had but yielded to a little wild 
 mirth, such as a brigand indulges in, in a moment of intoxication ! 
 But there was no prospect of anything of that kind happening, 
 there was neither vice nor goodness in him, and this utter 
 absence of failings and qualities produced an odd impression. 
 His marble-like countenance, which lacked any striking irre- 
 gularity, hinted at no resemblance to anyone or anything else ; 
 his features were harshly symmetrical and covered with 
 numerous pock-marks, so that it was said that the Devil came 
 by night to grind his peas on his countenance. 
 
 It seemed as though it were not in the power of mortal man 
 to insinuate himself into the good graces of such a person, but 
 Tchitchikoff made the experiment. At first he began by 
 pleasing him in all sorts of insignificant trifles : he looked care- 
 fully after the mending of his pens, and laid them close to his 
 hand ; he blew and swept all the spilt sand and tobacco from his 
 superior's table, he brought him a fresh rag for his ink-bottle ; 
 he hunted up his hat for him, — the shabbiest hat that ever 
 existed in this world, — and on each occasion laid it at his elbow 
 at the very moment when the ofiice closed ; he brushed his back 
 if it had become dirty through contact with the whitening on 
 the walls. But all this passed by absolutely unnoticed, as 
 though nothing of the sort had been done. At length Tchitchikoff 
 got wind of his superior's home and family life : he learned that 
 he had a marriageable daughter, who also possessed one of 
 those faces which look as though peas had been ground upon it, 
 and he meditated making an attack in that quarter. 
 
 Having found out what church she attended on Sundays, he 
 placed himself right opposite her every week, cleanly dressed, 
 with a well-starched shirt-front ; and the manoeuvre was a 
 success : the grim chief wavered, and invited him to tea. Then 
 before they had time to look about them in the office, Tchitchikoff 
 had transferred himself to the chiefs house, had become 
 necessary, indispensable to him. He purchased his flour and 
 sugar ; he behaved to the daughter as though she were his be- 
 trothed ; called the chief "papa," and kissed his hand. Every-
 
 DEPARTURE OX FRESH ENTERPRISES. 181 
 
 one in the chancellery canae to the conclusion that the wedding 
 would take place at the end of February, before the beginning 
 of the long fast. The stern head of the department even began 
 to interest himself on Tchitchikofi's behalf with the authorities, 
 and in a short time our hero was given a vacant appointment 
 which had been discovered. This, to all appearances, was the 
 principal object of his connection with his supei"ior ; for his 
 trunk was immediately and clandestinely removed from the 
 latter's house, and on the following day he was settled in new 
 quarters. He ceased to call the chief " papa," and no longer 
 kissed his hand ; the subject of the marriage, too, was dropped, 
 as though there had never existed any idea of such a thing. 
 However, he once met the old gentleman, and, pressing his hand 
 in a flattering way, he invited him to tea ; so that the old chief, 
 in spite of his eternal immobility and hard indifference, shook 
 his head every time that he thought of it, and muttered to him- 
 self, " He cheated me, he deceived me, that son of the Devil ! " 
 This was the most difficult threshold which our hero stepped 
 across. From that time on, he progressed more easily and with 
 more success. He became a man of note. He appeared to have 
 every quality which is adapted to this world — an agreeable way 
 of dealing with people, and suitable boldness in handling matters 
 of business. By these means, he shortly gained what is called a 
 lucrative position, and availed himself of it in the most 
 superior manner. The reader must be informed that, at that 
 time, the strictest prosecution was instituted for every descrip- 
 tion of bribe-taking. This did not alarm our hero, however ; 
 he immediately proceeded to turn it to his own account, dis- 
 playing thereby genuine Kussian ingenuity, which only shews 
 itself in cases of emergency. This is how he arranged matters. 
 As soon as a petitioner made his appearance, and thrust his 
 hand into his pocket, in order to draw therefrom the familiar 
 letter of recommendation, with the signature of Prince Kho- 
 vansky, as we used to express ourselves in Russia at that 
 period," Tchitchikoff would stay his hand, saying with a smile, 
 "No, no, you think that I — no, no! this is our duty; we are 
 under obligations to do it ; we must do it without any re- 
 muneration. You may rest easy on that point : everything 
 will be completed to-morrow. Allow me to inquire where you 
 are lodging ? It is not necessary that you should put yourself 
 to any personal trouble : everything will be brought to you at 
 your own house." 
 
 * For about half a century, Prince Khovansky signed all the imperial 
 bank-notes,
 
 182 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 The delighted applicant returned home almost in a state of 
 ecstasy, thinking, " Here, at last, is a man of a kind which we 
 ought to have more of: he is simply a precious diamond ! " 
 
 But the petitioner waits one day, two days — and the matter 
 is not brought to his house ; the third day it is the same. He 
 betakes himself to the office: the afiair has not even been 
 touched. Then he applies to the precious diamond : "Ah, excuse 
 me ! " says Tchitchikoff very courteously, seizing him by both 
 hands. "We are so worried with business! but to-morrow 
 everything will be finished — to-morrow, without fail. Reallj^, 
 I am mortified." And all this accompanied by the most 
 fascinating manners. 
 
 But neither on the morrow, nor on the day after, nor on the 
 day after that, are the papers brought to the petitioner at his 
 house. The petitioner falls to thinking, " Doesn't this signify 
 something ? " He makes inquiries ; he is told "The copyists must 
 be given something." — " Why not ? I am willing to give them 
 twenty-five copecks ! " he exclaims. " Why do you get so 
 heated over it ? " comes the reply. " This is the way it must be 
 arranged : give a white-note to the copyist ; he himself will get a 
 quarter of a rouble out of it, and the rest will go to the head, of 
 the department." 
 
 The slow-witted petitioner deals himself a blow on the fore- 
 head, and curses the way in which the world is arranged now- 
 adays, as well as the new customs, and the loftily courteous man- 
 ners of the officials. " In former times, you used at least to know 
 what you were about," he reflects. "If j^ou presented the head 
 of the department with a red bank-note,* your business was as 
 good as done, but now you have to spend a white-note, f and 
 waste a week into the bargain, before you can guess what 
 they are up to. May the Devil fly away with their disinterested- 
 ness and official generosity ! " 
 
 The petitioner was in the right, of course ; but, on the other 
 hand, there were no longer any direct bribe-takers among 
 the heads of departments, they were the most honest and the 
 noblest of men : only the secretaries and the petty clerks were 
 rascals. A much more extensive field soon presented itself to 
 Tchitchikoff". A commission was appointed for the erection of 
 some extremely important government building. He got him- 
 self appointed on this commission, and appeared to be one of 
 the most active of its members. The commission set to work 
 at once. The process of erection dragged on for six years ; 
 
 * Ten roubles. ^ f Twenty -five roubles.
 
 DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 183 
 
 but the climate in some way interfered, or the buildinw materials 
 were not what they should have been ; at all events, that 
 government edifice never got any further than the foundations. 
 But in the meantime, at the other extremity of the town, a 
 handsome house, in the urban style of architecture, rose up for 
 each member of the commission : obviously the soil was more 
 propitious there. The members began to gather courage, too, 
 and commenced to marry. 
 
 It was only then that Tchitchikoft gradually began to relax 
 in his strict rules of conduct and his pitiless self-sacrifice. It 
 was only then that his long-continued fast was lightened ; and 
 it appeared that he had never been averse to the various forms 
 of enjoyment, from which he had known how to refrain during 
 the fiery years of his youth, when no other man is able to 
 control himself entirely. Some luxuries made their appear- 
 ance at his place ; he indulged in a tolerably good cook, and in 
 fine cambric shirts. He had already begun to purchase some 
 cloth for his own use, such as no one else in the whole province 
 wore ; and from that time forth he began to wear it — it was 
 light brown or reddish in shade, and his coats were very much 
 cut away in front. Then he had already set up an excellent 
 pair of horses, and drove the team himself; he had also 
 already contracted a habit of rubbing himself down with a 
 sponge dipped in water mixed with eau-de-Cologne; he had 
 already purchased some expensive soap for the purpose of im- 
 parting smoothness to his skin ; he had already 
 
 But all at once there was despatched, in the place of the easy- 
 going chief, a new head of the department, who was a military 
 man, a fierce general, a sworn foe of bribery, and of everything 
 which is reckoned unjust. He frightened all the under-officials, 
 down to the very last one ; on the second day he demanded their 
 accounts, detected various deficits, found money missing at 
 every step ; then he took note of his subordinates' handsome 
 houses of urban architecture, and instituted an investigation. 
 The ofiicials were dismissed from the service ; the houses of an 
 ux-ban style of architecture were turned over to the treasury, 
 and converted into various benevolent institutions and district 
 schools ; everybody was blown into atoms, and Tchitchikoff' 
 worse than all the rest. 
 
 All of a sudden, his face, in spite of its agreeable expression, 
 ceased to please the chief, just why God only knows — some- 
 times there is no cause whatever for such a thing. At all events, 
 the chief conceived a deadly hatred for Tchitchikoff and sacked 
 him. But as this chief was a military man, it stood to reason
 
 184 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 that he did not understand all the refinements in the methods of 
 transacting ofiicial affairs ; indeed, after a brief interval, the 
 new men he selected insinuated themselves into his good graces 
 by feigning an upright appearance, and skillfully adapting 
 themselves to circumstances ; and the honest chief speedily 
 found himself in the hands of greater rascals than ever, although 
 he had not taken them for such ; he even congratulated himself 
 on having finally selected suitable men, and seriously flattered 
 himself that he possessed high competence in the matter of dis- 
 cerning character. The officials understood his mind and dis- 
 position at once. Everything beneath his rule was carried on 
 with a great show of honesty; and with such success that, 
 within a short space of time, each one of his subordinates 
 possessed a capital amounting to several thousand roubles. 
 
 At this juncture many of the ex-oflScials were converted to 
 the path of righteousness, and were re-admitted to the service. 
 But Tchitchikoff could not manage to make his way back on any 
 terms ; even the chief secretary, who had been induced to 
 espouse his cause in consideration of some of Prince Khovansky's 
 notes, and who led the general by the nose in all matters of 
 business, could effect absolutely nothing in the present case. 
 The chief belonged to that class of men who are led by the nose 
 (without their knowledge, of course), but, if once an idea makes 
 its way into their head, there it remains fast, exactly as though 
 it were an iron nail : it is impossible to extract it in any manner 
 whatever. All that the clever secretary could effect was the 
 erasure of the beclouded record in the service register ; and this 
 he only managed by an appeal to the chief's compassion by de- 
 picting to him, in vivid colours, the miserable fate of Tchitchi- 
 kofi"s unhappy family, which family, fortunately, our hero did 
 not possess. 
 
 " Well, this is a pretty situation ! " said Tchitchikofi". "My 
 hook caught, it dragged me up, but it has broken loose — and 
 that settles it. Crying won't assuage my grief: I must set to 
 work again." So he resolved to begin his career afresh, to in- 
 dulge in patience again, to deny himself everything, without 
 regard to the free and luxurious style in which he had lately 
 spent his money. 
 
 It was necessary to remove to another town, and to acquire 
 fame there. But for some reason he was not successful in his 
 new ventures. He was obliged to make two or three changes 
 in his employment in a very brief space of time ; the positions 
 given him were dirty, and humiliating in a way. It must be 
 stated that Tchitchikofl' was the most decorous man that ever
 
 DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 185 
 
 existed in this world. Although he was forced, at first, to make 
 his way in vile company, he always preserved his cleanliness of 
 mind : he liked to have an office table of varnished wood, in 
 fact, to have everything handsome about him. He never 
 allowed himself to employ ungentlemanly language, and he 
 always took oflence if he detected in the words of others any 
 absence of the I'espect due to rank and office. I think that the 
 reader will be gratified to learn that he changed his linen every 
 two days in the winter, and every day in summer, when the 
 weather was warm ; any smell M'hich was in the least degree 
 unpleasant oflended him. For this reason, he always thrust a 
 clove up his nose when Petrushka came to undress him and 
 pull ofi' his boots ; and in many ways his nerves were as sensi- 
 tive as those of a young girl. Hence, it was very hard for him 
 to find himself again among the petty officials who were distin- 
 guished by an odour of spirits, and by real indelicacy of habits. 
 
 But brace his courage as he would, he all the same grew thin 
 and even green, during this period of adversit3\ Previously he 
 had already begun to grow plump, and to acquire those rounded, 
 respectable outlines which, as the reader has seen, he possessed 
 when we became acquainted with him ; and many a time he had 
 gazed in the glass, and meditated on much that was agreeable 
 — such as a pretty little wife and children — and a smile had 
 followed his thoughts ; but now, when he glanced, accidentally 
 as it were, at himself in the mirror, he could not refrain from 
 exclaiming, " Holy Mother of God, how hideous I have grown ! " 
 And for a long time thereafter he did not care to look at 
 himself. 
 
 However, our hero endured all, he endured it, endured it 
 bravely and patiently, and — at length he passed into the custom- 
 house service. It must be stated that this branch of the service 
 had long formed the secret goal of his desires. He had observed 
 Avhat dainty foreign articles the custom-house officials possessed 
 at home, what porcelain and muslin they presented to their 
 lady cronies, their sisters, and their aunts. Long previously 
 he had many a time said, with a sigh, " That's the place to be 
 in : the frontier is close at hand, the people are cultivated, and 
 what fine cambric shirts one could indulge in ! " 
 
 It must be added, that in this connection he also thought of a 
 certain special. sort of French soap, which imparted a remark- 
 able whiteness to the skin and freshness to the cheeks. What 
 its name was, God only knew : but he assumed that it must in- 
 fallibly be found abroad. Thus, he had long pined to enter the 
 custom-house service, but he had been withheld from doing so
 
 186 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 for a long time by the profits wliick flowed to him from the 
 building commission ; and he had judged wisely, that the cus- 
 tom-house service, however desirable it might be, was nothing 
 more than a crane afar in the heavens, while the building com- 
 mission was certainly a titmouse in the hand. 
 
 Now, however, he Avas resolved to make his way into the cus- 
 tom-house service at any cost, and he accomplished it. He en- 
 tered upon his duties with extraordinaryzeal. It seemed as though 
 fate itself had destined him to be a custom-house official. Such 
 skill, penetration, and acumen had never been seen, or even 
 heard of before. In three or four weeks he had attained to 
 such dexterity in custom-house matters, that he positively knew 
 all that there was to be known : he no longer weighed or 
 measured, but he could judge from the wrapper how many 
 arshins there were in any piece of cloth, or any other material. 
 On taking a package in his hand, he could instantly tell how 
 many pounds it weighed. In searching for hidden goods, his 
 own comrades declared that he possessed a regular dog's scent ; 
 indeed, it was impossible not to experience some surprise at wit- 
 nessing how patient he was in feeling every button ; and this he 
 did with deadly equanimity and incredible courtesy. 
 
 When the people whom he was searching lost their tempers, 
 flew into a rage, and experienced a malicious desire to spoil his 
 agreeable face with their fists, he merely remarked, without any 
 change in the expression of his countenance, or the suavity of 
 his manners, " Will you not be so good as to stand up ? " or, 
 " Will you not be so kind, madam, as to step into the other 
 room ? the wife of one of our officials will come to an explana- 
 tion with you there ; " or, " Permit me to open the lining of 
 your cloak a trifle with my penknife ; " and so saying he would 
 draw forth a shawl or a kerchief, with as much nonchalance as 
 though it had been from his own trunk. His superiors ad- 
 mitted that he was the Devil himself, and not a man : he dis- 
 covered goods in wheels, in shafts, in a horse's ears, and in no- 
 body knows what other places besides, where it would never 
 enter the author's head to hide them, and where no one but a 
 custom-house official could find them. Thus the poor traveller 
 who crossed the frontier lost his wits for several minutes, and 
 could only cross himself, and say, as he wiped away the perspi- 
 ration which had broken out all over his body, " Well, well ! " 
 The traveller's position very much resembled that of the scholar 
 who has just emerged from the private apartment where his 
 master has summoned him to receive an exhortation, but where 
 he has quite unexpectedly treated him to a flogging.
 
 DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 187 
 
 In a very short time the smugglers found that there was no 
 tricking our hero. Woe and despair reigned throughout all 
 Polish Jewry. His honesty and incorruptibility were invincible, 
 almost superhuman. He did not even collect a little capital for 
 himself out of the various confiscated wares, and other articles 
 which were seized in divers manners, and which did not reach 
 the treasury, because they would necessitate superfluous cor 
 respondence. Such zealously disinterested service could not 
 fail to become the subject of general admiration, and at length 
 it came to the knowledge of the chiefs. Our hero received a 
 promotion of one rank (tchin) ; and then he presented a scheme 
 for trapping all the smugglers, merely requesting that he might 
 be furnished with the means of conducting the afiair himself. 
 He was immediatel}' intrusted with the command, and with un- 
 limited power to conduct any and all sorts of searches. That 
 was all he wanted. 
 
 At that time a large band of smugglers had been organised 
 on a regular and well-conceived plan. The profits of this bold 
 enterprise were reckoned by the million. Our friend had long 
 known of its existence, and had even refused to wink at its 
 doings, when an envoy had been despatched to buy him, saying 
 dryly, " The proper time has not yet arrived." But at the very 
 moment when he had got the entire disposition of aflairs into his 
 own hands, he informed the band that the time had arrived. 
 His calculations were well founded. In one year he might 
 obtain more money than he could earn in twenty. He had not 
 cared to enter into relations with these people before, because 
 then he had only been an insignificant individual, and, conse- 
 quently, he would have received but little ; but now, now it 
 was quite another matter, he could make what terms he pleased. 
 In order that the business might progress without loss or hin- 
 drance, he confided in another ofiicial, a comrade of his, who was 
 unable to resist the seduction despite the fact that his hair was 
 white. The terms were agreed upon, and the company began 
 operations. 
 
 Business opened in a brilliant manner. The reader has 
 doubtless heard the ancient and oft-repeated anecdote about 
 the clever journeys of the Spanish sheep, who used to cross 
 the frontier-line of Kussia in a double fleece, carrying a million's 
 worth of Brabant lace beneath their outer fleece. This occurred 
 at the very time that Tchitchikofl' was in the customs' service. 
 Had he not participated in the smuggling undertaking, no Jew 
 in existence could have carried such a thing to a successful ter- 
 mination. After three or four journeys of the sheep across the
 
 188 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 frontier, Tchitchikoff and his brother official each found them- 
 selves in possession of a capital of four hundred thousand 
 roubles. It was even said that Tchitchikofl", being the more 
 daring, secured over five hundred thousand. 
 
 God alone knows to what vast amount these delightful sums 
 would have increased, had not the cursed fiend ruined the whole 
 business. The Evil One threw the two officials into a tifi"; 
 the functionaries, to speak plainly, quarrelled about the veriest 
 trifle. It came about in the heat of conversation, and possibly 
 they may have been drinking a little. Tchitchikoff called the 
 other official a " pope's son " ; and the latter, although he was 
 in reality the son of a priest, took violent ofi'ence — no one 
 knew why — and instantly retorted in a vigorous and remark- 
 ably cutting manner, as follows, " No, you lie ! I am the son of 
 a councillor of state, not a pope's sou ; and as for you — why 
 you are a pope's son yourself!" And in his pique, he added, 
 for the further exasperation of his adversary, " Yes, that's it 
 precisely ! " 
 
 Although he had thoroughly quenched Tchitchikoff" by thus 
 bestowing upon him the epithet which had been applied to him- 
 self, and although the expression, " That's precisely it ! " was a 
 trifle strong, yet, not satisfied with all this, he sent a private 
 denunciation of our friend to the authorities. Moreover, 
 it was said that there had also been a quarrel between them 
 over a pretty little woman, who, according to the expression of 
 the custom-house functionai'ies, was as stout and as rosy as a 
 fresh beet ; and it was added that men had been hired by our 
 hero's rival to give him a sound drubbing at night in a dark 
 alley. However, both officials were being deceived, as the 
 pretty little woman really favoured a certain Staff'-Captain Sham- 
 shareff". God only knows how the matter actually stood : let 
 the reader who likes doing so invent a case to suit himself. 
 The chief point is, that the secret relations with the smugglers 
 were made public. Although the councillor of state's son 
 ruined himself, he succeeded in thoroughly revenging hiruself 
 on his comrade. Tchitchikoff" was brought before the court, 
 everything which he possessed was confiscated and catalogued, 
 and the whole aff"air burst over his head with the suddenness of 
 a clap of thunder. Both the confederates recovered themselves 
 as from a stupor, and then they realised what they had done. 
 The councillor of state's son would not stand trial, but perished 
 in some obscure retreat ; while our hero, already a collegiate 
 councillor, stood his trial. He had managed to conceal a portion 
 of his money, fine as was the scent of the investigating com-
 
 BfiPARTtJRE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 189 
 
 mittee appointed by his chiefs. In defending himself, too, he 
 employed all the most subtle subterfuges of a mind which was 
 already well experienced and versed in the ways of men ; in one 
 case he employed fascinations of manner ; in another aflecting 
 speeches; in yet another he threw dust in his superior's eyes by 
 means of flattery, which never harms any case whatever ; and 
 in a fourth instance he slipped a little money into the proper hand. 
 In short, he adjusted the matter in such a fashion that he Avas 
 not left in the dishonoured position of his companion, but 
 escaped punishment. However, there no longer remained to him 
 either his five hundred thousand roubles or his various foreign 
 trifles, or anything else ; other amateurs had laid hands on all 
 of them. Still he retained a little hoard of ten thousand 
 roubles, which he had concealed in provision for a dark day ; 
 together with a couple of dozen cambric shirts, a little britchka, 
 such as is used by bachelors, and two serfs — the coachman 
 Selifan and the valet Petrushka ; moreover, the custom-house 
 officials, moved by compassion, left him five or six pieces of 
 soap for the preservation of his ros}^ complexion — and that 
 was all. So behold the situation in which our hero again found 
 himself! Behold what a mass of misfortune had descended 
 upon his head! This was what he designated as " suflering 
 for the right in the service." 
 
 It might now be surmised that after such storms, experiences, 
 after such fickleness of fate, and human woe, he would depart 
 to some distant and tranquil solitude, to some little pi'ovincial 
 town, with his ten thousand roubles whicji had cost him so dear, 
 and wither away in a chintz dressing-gown, at the window of a 
 tiny house ; or else, by way of recreation, stroll out into the 
 chicken-yard, and feel each pullet which was destined for the 
 table — indeed, in this manner, lead a noiseless but in its own 
 way, not entirely useless life. 
 
 However, this was not the way that things turned out. 
 Justice must be rendered to our hero's invincible strength of 
 character. After all this, which would have sufiiced, if not to 
 annihilate, at least to cool and calm another man for ever, his 
 unconquerable passion was not at all dulled within him. He 
 was grieved, he was vexed, he grumbled against all the world, 
 he was indignant at the injustice of fate, he was enraged by the 
 injustice of men ; and yet he could not refrain from fresh 
 attempts. In a word, he displayed a patience in comparison 
 with which that of a plodding German is nothing, since the 
 latter is solely due to the slow, languid circulation of his blood. 
 Tchitchikofi''s blood, on the contrary, flowed briskly ; but the
 
 190 Dead souls. 
 
 exercise of much thoughtful volition was required to enable him 
 to cast out his hook at anything now likely to yield him 
 profit. 
 
 He reflected, and his thoughts obviously took this point of 
 view : " Why do I exist ? Why has misfortune overwhelmed 
 me ? Who cares about one's duties nowadays ? Everybody 
 wins his way. I have not rendered anyone unhappy ; I have 
 not plundered the widow ; I have not turned anyone adrift 
 penniless on the world ; I have merely availed myself of super- 
 fluous cash. I accepted it in cases where any one would have 
 taken it ; if I had not taken advantage of the chance, other 
 people would have done so. Why do others thrive while I 
 become food for the worm ? And what am I now ? What am 
 I good for ? With what eyes must I now gaze into those of 
 any respectable father of a family ? How can I avoid feeling 
 the gnawing of conscience, knowing, as I do, that I am a useless 
 burden on the earth ? And what will my children say here- 
 after ? ' There,' they will say, ' is our beast of a father : he 
 will leave us no property at all ! ' " 
 
 It has already been seen that Tchitchikofi" worried a great 
 deal over his posterity. Such a tender subject it is ! Perhaps 
 even some other man would not have purloined so much if it 
 had not been for the question which, for some unknown reason, 
 springs up of itself, " What will the children say ? " So 
 behold the future founder of a race, like a cautious cat, which, 
 with a sidelong glance, observes whether the master be not 
 looking, and then hastily seizes everything which is within its 
 reach, whether it be soap or candles or tallow, or a canary bird, 
 which in short, lets nothing whatever escape it. 
 
 Thus, our hero wept and complained : but, in the meantime, 
 he never ceased exercising his wits. Again he retired within 
 himself; again he stinted himself in everyway; again he under- 
 took to lead a hard life ; again he descended from a clean and 
 respectable existence to dirt and the life of the lowly. And 
 while awaiting something better, he was fain to engage in the 
 calling of a steward — a calling which has not hitherto been 
 largely adopted by our citizen classes, for a steward receives 
 buffets from all quarters, is but little respected by the petty-clerk 
 tribe, or even by confidential agents, is condemned to dance 
 attendance in ante-rooms, and to put up with impertinence and 
 so on ; however, necessity obliged our hero to make up his 
 mind to everything. 
 
 Among the commissions which fell to him in this new capacity 
 was the mortgaging of several hundred peasants to the Council
 
 DEPARTtJRE OK FRESH ENTERPRISES. 191 
 
 of Guardians.* His employer's estate was ruined to the last 
 degree. It had suffered from murrain among the cattle ; from 
 the depredations of rascally overseers ; from bad harvests ; 
 from epidemic diseases ; from the death of the best workmen ; 
 and, most of all, from the senseless behaviour of the owner, 
 who had decorated a gorgeous house in Moscow in the latest 
 taste, and had thus spent his very last copeck, so that he had 
 nothing left to purchase food for himself. For this reason, he 
 was finally compelled to mortgage his last remaining serfs. 
 This pawning was a new thing in those days, and it was not 
 decided upon without fear and trembling. Tchitchikoff, in his 
 capacity of agent, after having first rendered all the oflicials 
 fevourable (it is well known that, without conciliating them not 
 an application is ever entertained, not an inquiry answered), 
 having thus acquired the favour of all of them, he explained to 
 the secretary that one-half of the peasants having died, there 
 might be a lot of trouble as regards the security. 
 
 " But they are still reckoned on the census-list ? " said the 
 secretary. 
 
 "Yes, they are so reckoned," replied Tchitchikoff. 
 
 "Well, what are you afraid of ? " said the secretary: "one 
 has died, another has been born, so the people remain available 
 all the same." 
 
 The secretary evidently understood how to talk to the point. 
 But in the meantime, the most inspired thought that ever 
 entered a human brain had flashed upon that of our hero. 
 
 "Ah, I am a regular Akim the Simpleton! " he said to 
 himself: "I have been hunting for my mittens, and they are 
 both in my belt ! Now, suppose that I buy all the souls which 
 have died since the last census was taken ; and suppose that I 
 obtain a thousand of them, say, and that the Council of Guar- 
 dians will lend, say, two hundred roubles a soul ; there I shall 
 ~Tiave a capital of two hundred thousand roubles ! And the times 
 are propitious just now : there was an epidemic not long ago, 
 and not a few people died, glory be to God ! The landed gentry 
 have also been losing at cards, and carousing and squandering 
 in proper fashion ; everybody has crawled ofl" to Petersburg, to 
 
 * The Council of Guardians is a grand banking establishment, directed 
 by a council -which governs various institutes for orphans and deaf-mutes, 
 placed under the patronage of the reigning empress. Money can be de- 
 posited there at an interest of four per cent., and both real and personal 
 property can be mortgaged there. Serfs to the number of ten thousand 
 could be pawned there in former times, when one of this Council's most 
 considerable sources of income was the monopoly of plajong- cards, which 
 in Kussia, as elsewhere, insures a safe and lucrative revenue. ^
 
 192 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 enter the service ; their estates are abandoned, or managed at 
 hap-hazard ; they find it harder every year to pay their taxes ; 
 so it may chance that I shall be able to earn a copeck once more. 
 Of course, it is difficult and troublesome, and it would be 
 the finishing touch if any scandal arose from this. But vphat is 
 a man's mind given to him for ! To contend with difficulties of 
 course. And the best thing about it is, that the afi'air will 
 appear incredible to everybody, and no one will believe it. It 
 is true that without land it is impossible either to purchase or 
 to pawn serfs. But I will buy them for colonisation — for 
 colonisation ! The land in the provinces of Tauris and Kherson is 
 now given away gratuitously to anyone who will settle upon it. 
 I will take them all there ! To the Khersonese with them ! 
 There let them live ! And the colonisation can be efiiected in 
 legal form, according to the decrees of the courts. If the 
 officials want to review the serfs, I won't object. I will present 
 a certificate, with the signature of the captain-ispravnik himself. 
 The village can be styled the ' TchitchikofF Sloboda,'* or else 
 called after my baptismal name, the ' Hamlet of Pavlovskoe.' " 
 
 So this is the way in which that strange project was formed 
 in the brain of our hero ; and I am not sure whether the reader 
 will feel grateful or not to him for conceiving it ; but it is 
 difiicult to express how grateful the author is to him, for say 
 what you like, had this scheme never entered the head of 
 our friend Tchitchikofi", this book would never have made its 
 appearance on the earth. 
 
 Our hero crossed himself in Russian fashion, and set to 
 work. Under pretence of selecting a place of residence, and 
 other suitable pretexts, he undertook to obtain a peep at various 
 corners of our empire, and especially at those which had suffered 
 more than the others from mishaps — bad crops, mortality, and 
 so forth : in short, all the spots where he could most comfortably 
 and cheaply purchase the people whom he required. He did 
 not address himself at random to any landowner, but selected 
 the men who were most to his taste, or those with whom the 
 transaction of such business would present the fewest difficulties, 
 after first making their acquaintance, and disposing them in his 
 favour, so that, as far as possible, he might acquire the dead 
 serfs out of friendship, instead of by purchase. 
 
 This, then, is the complete portrait of our hero. But a final 
 explanation of one characteristic may be required : What is he 
 
 * A sloboda in ancient times was a village in the suburbs of a town, 
 peopled by feudal retainers.
 
 DEPARTURE ON FRESH ENTERPRISES. 193 
 
 as regards moral qualities ? That he is not a hero composed 
 of perfection and virtue is obvious. Who is he ? A knave, of 
 course. Why a knave ? Why be so stern towards another ? 
 There are no knaves among us now : there are only well- 
 intentioned people, agreeable people abroad ; and they are all 
 talking of virtue. 
 
 No doubt the public will be dissatisfied with our hero ; but 
 this is not so hard to bear as is the fact that there lives in tho 
 author's mind the invincible conviction that, under different 
 circumstances, his readers might have been pleased with this 
 same hero, with this very Tchitchikoff. If the author had not 
 looked deeper than others into his hero's soul, if he had not 
 beheld in its depths things which escape most people ; if he had 
 not revealed the secret thoughts for which no man gives another 
 credit, but had depicted him in the light in which he appeared 
 to the whole town, to Maniloff and other persons, then every- 
 one would have been delighted, and would have considered him 
 a very interesting man. Perhaps neither his face nor his per- 
 sonality, as a whole, would have struck the eye so forcibly ; but, 
 on the other hand, on finishing the perusal of this story, the 
 reader's soul would not have been in the least moved, and ho 
 might have turned once more to the card-table, which is the 
 universal comforter in Russia. Yes, my good readers, you 
 would have preferred not to see the man's meanness laid bare. 
 " Why," you say, " to what purpose is this ? Do we not our- j 
 
 .gelyes know that there is much which is stupid and despicable 
 in li fe?~" And moreover it frequently happens that we behold 
 things which are not at all cheerful. Show us rather some- i 
 thing very beautiful, very attractive : it is better to forget our- » 
 selves." " Why, my friend, do you inform me that domestic 
 
 ^matters are going so badly? " says the master to his steward. 
 "I know all that without your telling me, my good fellow; 
 haven't you anything else to talk about ? I don't want to 
 know about it : let me forget it, and then I shall be happy." / 1/ 
 And then the money which would have gone so far towards 
 righting matters is employed in various ways in lulling the 
 master to forgetfulness. The mind which might, perhaps, have 
 invented a means of acquiring vast wealth, slumbers ; and so 
 at last the estates go bang ! to the auction — and the master goes 
 forth into the wide world to forget himself with a soul prepai-ed 
 in its dire need to accomplish vile deeds which would have terri- 
 fied it before. 
 
 Why hide all this ? Why hesitate over words ? Why be 
 chary of calling things by their right names ? Who, if not an 
 
 N
 
 194 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 author, is to speak the truth ? You are afraid of a deep, 
 scrutinizing glance ; you shrink from fixing a deep gaze upon 
 anything yourselves ; yoa are fond of slipping past everything, 
 •with, eyes which see nothing. You even laugh heartily at Tchi- 
 tchikoff; perhaps you even praise the author; you say, "At 
 any rate, he has sketched him cleverly. He must be a jolly 
 sort of a man ! " And after these words, you turn with 
 redoubled arrogance to yourselves, a self-satisfied smile makes 
 its appearance on your countenances, and you add, "Well it 
 must be admitted that people are dreadfully queer in some of 
 our provinces, and there must be a few rascals among them ! " 
 However, which of you, filled with Christian humility, will dive 
 into the depths of his own soul, and not aloud, but in silence 
 and solitude, in moments of isolated self-communion, will put to 
 himself the weighty question, "And is there not some taint of 
 Tchitchikofi" in me also ? " ,; Why not, indeed ? Still you never 
 say that of yourself; but if some acquaintance of neither very 
 lofty nor very low rank passes by, you instantly nudge your 
 neighbour, and say to him, almost bursting with laughter the 
 while, "Look, look! there is Tchitchikoff! Tchitchikoflf has 
 passed by ! " and then, like a child, oblivious of all the respect 
 which is due to rank and years, you will run after him, imitate 
 him behind his back, and say, "Tchitchikoff"! Tchitchikoff"! 
 Tchitchikoff!" 
 
 But we have been talking in rather a loud tone of voice, 
 forgetful of the fact that our hero, who has slumbered while we 
 have recounted his life, is awake now, and might easily over- 
 hear his name, thus often repeated. He is a man who takes 
 off"ence readily, and who does not like to have people express 
 themselves disrespectfully with regard to him. No doubt it 
 matters little to the reader whether Tchitchikoff be incensed 
 with him or not, but the author must on no account quarrel 
 with his hero ; there still remains a considerable space over 
 which they must travel hand in hand. 
 
 The britchka, with Tchitchikoff, Selifan, and Petrushka was 
 still proceeding at a jog-trot, when our hero woke up. 
 
 "Oho! What are you about ? " he said to his coachman. 
 " Answer, I'm speaking to you!" 
 
 " What ? " asked Selifan in a leisurely tone. 
 
 " What, indeed ! You goose ! Where are you going ? Come 
 now, make haste ! " 
 
 And in fact, Selifan had been driving along for a good while 
 ■with his eyes half shut, just touching the horses — who also 
 were dreaming — with the reins from time to time ; and 
 Petrushka's cap had long since fallen off in some unknown spot,
 
 DEPARTURE OX FRESH ENTERPRISES. 195 
 
 while he himself had fallen backwards until his head struck 
 against Tchitchikoff's knees, so that the latter was obliged to 
 give him a push. But Selifan now roused himself up, and 
 after administering a few lashes to the piebald, and flourishing 
 his knout in the air, he ejaculated, in a sing-song tone, " Never 
 fear ! " The horses then started up, and drew the light britchka 
 along as if it had been merely a tuft of down. Selifan still 
 flourished away, and shouted, " Eh, eh, eh ! " as he jerked up 
 and down on the box, while the troika flew, now up the ascents 
 and then down the declivities of the highway. 
 
 Tchitchikoff smiled as he lightly swung on his leather 
 cushions, for he liked to drive rapidh'. And what Russian does 
 not love fast driving ? How could it fail to suit the taste of a 
 man who is always striving for excitement, who delights to 
 roam ? How could his soul help loving this ? Should he not 
 love it, this speed which seems so triumphant, so marvellous ? 
 It is as though an unknown power had taken you upon its 
 wings ; that you were flying on and on while everything else 
 was flying back. The verst-stones fly back ; the merchants, on 
 the boxes of their britchkas, fly to meet you ; the forest flies ofi" 
 on both sides of the road, with its dark bands of pines and firs, 
 and with the blows of axes and the cawing of crows resounding 
 in its depths ; the whole road flits away into the dim distance. 
 And there is something terrible bound up with this swift flashing, 
 amid which one can only distinguish the sky overhead, flecked 
 with light clouds ; and where the moon, as it pierces them, 
 seems to be the only thing which is immovable. 
 
 Ah, the troika — the bird-troika ! Who invented thee ? Of 
 course, thou couldst only have had thy birth among a dashing 
 race — in that land which has extended smoothly, glidingly, over 
 half the earth, and where one may count the verst-pillars until 
 one's eyes swim. Thou art not a complicated vehicle, friend 
 troika. Thou art not put together with iron spikes ; a clever 
 moujik of Yaroslavl, with axe and chisel only, has made thee with 
 despatch. Thy driver wears no German cavalry-boots : he has 
 a beard and mittens, they are all he needs. The deuce only 
 knows what he sits upon; but see, he has risen, and he waves 
 his arms and strikes up a song. The horses dash on like a 
 whirlw^ind ; the spokes of the wheels have become merged into 
 one smooth circle; the road quakes, and the foot-traveller halts 
 and cries aloud in alarm — while yet the troika flies on, on, on ! 
 And, behold, it is already visible afar, raising a cloud of dust, 
 and piercing the air, till at last it vanishes from view. 
 
 Ip it not thus, like the bold troika which cannot be overtaken, 
 that thou art dashing along, Russia, my country ? Tbe v^nA^
 
 196 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 smoke beneath thee, the bridges thunder ; all is left, all will be 
 left, behind thee. The spectator stops short astounded, as at a 
 marvel of God. Is this the lightning which has descended 
 from heaven ? he asks. What does this awe-inspiring move- 
 ment betoken ? and what uncanny power is possessed by these 
 horses, so strange to the world ? Ah ! horses, horses, Eussiau 
 horses ! what horses you are ! Doth the whirlwind sit upon 
 your manes ? Doth your sensitive ear prick with every tingle 
 in your veins ? But lo ! you have heard a familiar song from 
 on high ; simultaneously, in friendly wise you have bent your 
 brazen breasts to the task ; and, hardly letting your hoofs 
 touch the earth, you advance in one tightly- stretched line, 
 flying through the air. Yes, on the troika flies, inspired by 
 God ! Eussia, whither art thou dashing ? Eeply ! But she 
 replies not ; the horses' bells break into a wondrous sound ; the 
 shattered air becomes a tempest, and the thunder growls; 
 Eussia flies past everything else upon earth ; and other peoples, 
 kingdoms, and empires gaze askance as they stand aside to 
 make way for her ! 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SOEEOWS OF LOVE. 
 
 Why, it may be asked, why depict misery upon misery, and the 
 imperfection of our lives, by unearthing people from the Avil- 
 derness, from the remote nooks and corners of our empire ? But 
 what is to be done if the character of the author is such that, 
 conscious of his own imperfection, he is unable to depict any- 
 thing except miseryupon misery, and the imperfections of our life, 
 unearthing people from the wilderness, from remote nooks and 
 corners of the empire ? And here we have again arrived in the 
 wilds, again we have hit upon a distant nook. But, on the 
 whole, what a nook, what wilds ! 
 
 Like the gigantic escarpment of some interminable fortress, 
 with angles and batteries, the mountainous elevation extends 
 for more than a thousand versts. Grandly does it pursue its 
 course across the boundless expanse of the plain, now breaking 
 off" in the shape of a perpendicular wall, of a clayey or limestone 
 formation, hollowed out into gullies and watercourses, and 
 rounding over in a swelling which pleases the eye, covered, as
 
 TEJCTYOTNIKOFF : OR, THE SORROWS OF LOVE. 197 
 
 with a lambskin coat, with young bushes, which have sprouted 
 forth amid the trees which had been felled ; and, last of all, with 
 dark clumps of forest, which have escaped the axe by some 
 miracle. The river, now faithful to its bed, displays sharp angles 
 and round curves, and now stretches to a distance into the mea- 
 dows, where, after several windings, it glitters like fire beneath 
 the sun. Then it hides itself in a grove of beeches, ash-trees, 
 and alders, and thence emerges in triumph in company with 
 bridges, mills, and dams, which seem to pursue it at every 
 step. 
 
 Here had met examples of the whole vegetable kingdom. The 
 oak, the fir, the wild-pear, the maple, the cherry, the thorn or 
 nettle-tree, with wild wreathing ivy and hops, climbed all over 
 the mountain side from summit to base, now aiding now stifling 
 each other in their growth. And aloft, mingled with their ver- 
 dant crests, appeared the red roofs of a manorial building, the 
 peaks and frets of the peasants' cabins being concealed in the 
 rear, behind the carved balcony and large half-rounded windows 
 of the mansion. And over all these roofs and trees the ancient 
 church reared its five glittering golden crests. Oh all its cupolas 
 there were open-work gilt crosses, and, at a distance, it seemed 
 as though the gold, sparkling like burning ducats, hung sus- 
 pended in the air without support. And all this — roofs, tree- 
 tops, and crosses — was charmingly reflected, but in a reversed 
 position, in the river, where the hollow, deformed willows, stand- 
 ing, some in the water and others on the margin, with their 
 branches and their leaves drooping thence, all enveloped in the 
 green slime which floated on the stream with the yellow water- 
 lilies, appeared to be gazing upon their wondrous reflection. 
 
 Who was the owner of this picturesque village, approached 
 from a long avenue of oaks, which received the visitor cour- 
 teously, stretching out their drooping boughs as though for a 
 friendly embrace, and accompanying him to the very front of 
 the house, of which we have already seen the upper storey from 
 afar, and which now stands face to lace with one, having on one 
 side a row of peasants' cabins displaying peaks and carved 
 gables, and on the other hand a church glittering with golden 
 crosses ? To what fortunate individual did this labyrinth be- 
 long? 
 
 To a landowner of the Tremalakhansky district, Andrei Ivano- 
 vitch Tentyotnikofl* by name, a lucky young fellow of thirty, 
 who was still unmarried. 
 
 Who was he ? what was iie ? what qualities, what capacities, 
 did ne possess ? We must inquire of his neighbours — of his 
 neighbours, dear readers. One neighbour expressed his opinion
 
 198 DEAD SOtJLS. 
 
 of him by the laconic phrase, " A perfect beast ! *' A general, 
 who lived at a distance of ten versts oflf, said, "He is by no 
 means a stupid young man, but he has got a great many queer 
 notions into his head. I might be of service to him, for I am 
 
 not without influence in St. Petersburg, and even with " 
 
 However, the general did not finish his speech. As for the 
 captain-ispravnik, he gave this answer: "There's something 
 low about him — he's a worthless fellow ; and I must go after 
 him to-morrow for his arrears ! " The moujiks of the village, 
 when questioned as to what sort of a man their master was, 
 made no reply at all. So, of course, their opinion of him was 
 unfavourable. 
 
 But, to speak dispassionately, he was not a bad fellow : he 
 simply encumbered the earth. Since there are a great many 
 people in the wide world who are utterly useless, why should 
 not Tentyotnikoff be one of them too ?,' 
 
 As a rule he awoke very late in the morning ; and on rising, he 
 sat for a long time in his bed, rubbing his eyes. And, although 
 his eyes were unfortunately small, this operation lasted a re- 
 markably long time. In the meanwhile his man, Mikhailo, stood 
 at the door, with a hand-basin and a towel. This poor Mik- 
 hailo stood an hour there, then another hour ; then he went to 
 the kitchen and came back again, but his master was still rub- 
 bing his eyes and sitting up in bed. Finally he rose from his 
 bed, washed himself, put on his dressing-gown, and came out 
 into the drawing-room to drink some tea, coffee, cocoa, and even 
 some boiled milk, sipping a little of all of them, mercilessly 
 crumbling his bread, and heedlessly scattering the ashes from 
 his pipe all over- the place. He sat for two hours over his tea, 
 and that was not all : he took a cold cupful of it, and walked to 
 the window which overlooked the court-yard ; and at the win- 
 dow the following scene took place every day : — 
 
 First of all, Grigoriy, a house-serf, who acted as butler, 
 roared at Perfilievna, the housekeeper, in some such terms as 
 these: "You clumsy, big, rebellious darling! you worthless 
 hussy ! You might, at least, hold your noise, you disgusting 
 woman ! " 
 
 " And don't you want that ? " shrieked the worthless woman, 
 making an insulting sign with her hand. Perfilievna was a 
 coarse woman in her actions, despite of the fact that she was 
 fond of raisins, fruit-tarts, and all sorts of sweets, which she kept 
 under lock and key. 
 
 " You have entered into a compact with the steward, you 
 storehouse good-for-nothing ! " shouted Grigoriy.
 
 TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SORROWS OF LOVE. 199 
 
 " Yes, and the steward is just such another thief as you are. 
 Do you think that the master doesn't know you ? Why, he's 
 there, he is listening," 
 
 " Where's the master '? " 
 
 " There he is, sitting by the window ; he sees everything." 
 
 And the master really was sitting at the window, and he saw 
 everything. 
 
 To complete the uproar, a child belonging to a house-serf 
 which had received a hearty slap from its mother, screamed at 
 the top of its voice ; then a greyhound howled on account of the 
 hot water with which the cook had splashed it as she chased 
 it from the kitchen. In short, everything was screaming and 
 wailing intolerably. The master saw and heard it all. And it 
 was only when it became so unendurable that it prevented his 
 doing anything whatever that he sent out word to say that 
 they must make less noise. 
 
 Two hours before dinner he retired to his study to engage In 
 a serious literary composition, which was designed to embrace 
 all Russia, from all points of view — the political, social, re- 
 ligious, and philosophical — he meant to solve all the difficult 
 questions attaching to her history, ^d to clearly define her 
 great future ; everything in short was to be done in that form 
 and fashion in which the man of the day delights. This 
 colossal undertaking was limited, however, to thought: our 
 writer nibbled his pen, sundry drawings made their appearance 
 upon his paper, and then everything was thrown aside and a book 
 was taken in hand, and not dropped again until dinner-time. 
 This book was perused with the soup, the roast, the salad, and 
 even with the pastry, so that some dishes grew cold and some 
 were even removed untasted. After this came a pipe and some 
 coftee, and a game of chess with himself. What he did after- 
 wards until supper-time it would be hard to say. It appeared 
 that he simply did nothing whatever. 
 
 And thus did one utterly solitary young man of thirty pass 
 his time, constantly sitting about in his dressing-gown, without 
 any neckcloth. He did not walk out, he did not even care to 
 go upstairs to look at the view ; he did not care to open the 
 ■windows to admit fresh air into the room ; and it was as though 
 the sight of the beautiful village, which no visitor could help ad- 
 miring, did not exist for its owner. From this the reader will 
 see that Andrei Ivanovitch Tentyotnikoff belonged to that class 
 of people who are not extinct in Russia, and who were 
 formerly called sluggards and lazybones, and who are now 
 called I know not what. Are such characteristics born with a
 
 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 man, or aw they developed later in life, begotten by the 
 gloomy circumstances with which the man is hemmed in ? In 
 reply to this question it will be better to relate the history of 
 this young fellow's childhood and training. 
 
 It seemed as though everything had conspired to make some- 
 thing odd out of him. As a sharp-witted lad of twelve, of a 
 thoughtful mood and somewhat sickly constitution, he entered 
 a school managed at that time by a very remarkable man. The 
 idol of youth, the wonderful teacher, the incomparable Alexan- 
 der Petrovitch, was endowed with the gift of divining a man's 
 nature. How he did understand the character of the Eussian 
 man ! How he understood children ! How well he knew how 
 to move them ! There was not a mischief-maker who did not 
 come to him, after playing a prank, and confess it of his own 
 accord. But this was not all ; the player of pranks did not 
 leave the master's presence with drooping head, but held it well 
 in the air, with a hearty desire to atone for his fault. There 
 was something encouraging in Alexander Petrovitch's very re- 
 proof, something which said, " Forward ! Else as quickly as 
 possible to your feet, without heeding your fall ! " He called 
 ambition the force which stimulates a man onward, and he en- 
 deavoured to arouse it. With him there was no question of 
 good behaviour. He generally said, " I require brains and 
 nothing else. He who directs his attention to acquiring know- 
 ledge will have no time for pranks, mischief will disappear of 
 itself." 
 
 This schoolmaster did not have many pupils, and he mostly 
 taught in person. He understood how to give the very 
 marrow of the subject, without pedantic accessories or pom- 
 pous views or speculations, and so that it seemed plain to 
 the youngest that the knowledge was necessary to them. Only 
 those branches of learning were chosen by him which were 
 adapted to make a man a good citizen. The greater part of 
 the lessons consisted in stories about what awaited a young man 
 in the future, and he understood so well how to sketch out a 
 career, that the youth lived mind and soul in the service while 
 still on his school form. The master, hiding nothing, set before 
 the boy in all their nakedness the bitterness and the hindrances 
 which arise in a man's path, and all the trials and temptations 
 which await him. He knew everything, just as though he 
 himself had passed through every rank and calling. 
 
 Whether it was from this cause that ambition was so 
 strongly aroused in his pupils, or because there was something 
 in the very eyes of this extraordinary teacher, which said to the
 
 TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OB, THE SORROWS OF LOVE. 201 
 
 youth, " Forward ! " — that word so well known to the Russian, 
 and which works wonders on his sensitive organization — at all 
 events, the youths from the very outset sought out difficulties 
 and longed to he in action, contending with the greatest hard- 
 ships under circumstances in which it was necessary to display 
 the utmost firmness of soul. Few graduated after this course 
 of study, but those few proved men of might. They remained 
 firm in the most insecure places ; while many who were much 
 more clever than they were, could not endure their position, 
 but abandoned everything on account of petty personal vexa- 
 tions ; or else having become dull and lazy, they found them- 
 selves in the hands of bribe-takers and rogues. But the others 
 wavered not ; and knowing both life and men, and possessing 
 true wisdom, they exercised a powerful influence on the evil- 
 disposed. 
 
 How this wonderful teacher startled Andrei Ivanovitch in his 
 boyhood ! The fiery heart of the ambitious lad for a long time 
 leaped at the very thought of entering upon the higher course of 
 study ; and indeed, when sixteen years old,Tentyotnikofl', having 
 distanced all the lads of his own age, was counted worthy of 
 being transferred to the highest class as one of the best, though 
 he did not believe it himself. What to all appearances could be 
 better for our Tentyotnikoft" than such an instructor ? But fate 
 would have it so, that at the very time when the lad was trans- 
 ferred to this class of the elect- — a thing which he had so 
 ardently desired — the remarkable teacher, whose words of en- 
 couragement alone threw him into a sweet confusion, fell ill, 
 and died shortly afterwards. Oh, what a blow was this for the 
 young fellow ! How terrible was this his first loss. It 
 seemed to him as though everything in the academy were 
 altered. 
 
 In the place of Alexander Petrovitch there then came a 
 certain Feodor Ivanovitch, a good painstaking man, but one 
 who held very ditierent views of things. In the easy uncon- 
 straint of the boys of the first class he thought that he detected 
 intractability. He began by instituting among them certain 
 outward forms of order ; for instance he required the young 
 fellows to preserve unbroken silence, under no circumstances 
 were they to walk out except in pairs; and he even began to 
 measure the distance from couple to couple with his arshiu- 
 -tick. At table he arranged them according to size for appear- 
 ance' sake, and not according to capacity ; so that the stupid 
 boys got the best bits and the clever boys the remnants. All 
 this provoked grumbling, especially when the new master, in
 
 202 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 direct opposition to the practices of his predecessor, announced 
 that brains and fine progress signified nothing to him ; that he 
 only looked at conduct ; that if a boy studied badly but behaved 
 well, he should show him a preference over the clever but 
 playful boy. However, Feodor Ivanovitch did not attain his 
 object. Playfulness being objected to, secret pranks .began. 
 Everything went like clockwork in the daytime, but at night 
 there was rioting. 
 
 Our young friend Andrei Ivanovitch was of a quiet disposi- 
 tion. He could not be led astray by the nightly orgies of his 
 schoolmates, who played their pranks in full view of the 
 windows of the principal's quarters, nor by their mockery of 
 holy things, which arose because the pope did not chance to be 
 a clever man. No, even in his dreams his mind recognised its 
 heavenly origin. Still he hung his head : his ambition was 
 aroused, but there was no career of active occupation open to 
 him. It would have been better perhaps had this ambition not 
 been aroused at all. He listened to the enthusiastic professors 
 at their lectures, and recalled his former instructor, who had 
 known how to talk in intelligible terms without becoming 
 excited. What courses did he not attend ! What subjects did he 
 not hear treated ! Medicine and chemistry, philosophy, law, 
 and the universal history of mankind, all on such a vast scale, 
 that in three years the professors merely succeeded in reading 
 the introduction. However, all this lingered in Andrei's brain 
 in formless masses. Thanks to his native common-sense, he 
 was conscious that he ought not to be taught in that manner ; 
 but the proper way he did not know. And he often recalled 
 Alexander Petrovitch, and grew so sad at times that he did not 
 know what to do with himself for grief. 
 
 But youth is happy in this, that it has a future. In propor- 
 tion as the time of his departure from school drew nigh, his 
 heart began to beat more violently. He said to himself, " Surely, 
 this is not life ; this is only the preparation for life : real life 
 lies on the surface ; that is the place for action." And without 
 even glancing at the marvellously beautiful little nook which 
 made such an impression on every visitor, without even paying 
 obeisance to the dust of his parents, he betook himself, after the 
 custom of all ambitious men, to Petersburg, where, as it is well 
 known, all our spirited young fellows hasten, from every quarter 
 of Russia, to enter the service, to shine or to work, or simply to 
 skim the surface of colourless, deceptive society, which is as 
 cold as ice. 
 
 Andrei Ivanovitch's ambitious aspirations were promptly
 
 tEJftYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SORROWS OF I.OVE. 203 
 
 quelled, however, at the very outset by his uncle, Ouufriy Ivauo- 
 vitch, an actual councillor of state. The latter declared that 
 the chief point in a man was a good handwriting ; that, with- 
 out this, no one could obtain admission to a ministry or 
 to any imperial office. At last, however, with great difficulty, 
 and with the assistance of his uncle's influence, Tentyotnikoff 
 secured an appointment in some department or other. When 
 he was conducted for the first time into the light and magnifi- 
 cent hall, with its inlaid floor and varnished writing-desks, which 
 looked as though the greatest grandees of the empire sat at 
 them, and dealt with the fate of the whole country ; when he 
 beheld the legions of handsome gentlemen who were writing 
 there, noisily moving their pens, and inclining their heads on 
 one side ; and when they placed him at a table, and at once 
 gave him a document — intentionally of little importance — to 
 copy (it was a correspondence about three roubles, which had 
 been going on for half a year), an extraordinarily odd sensa- 
 tion took possession of him. 
 
 It seemed to him as though he were in some primary school, 
 and had to go through his education all over again. It was as 
 though he had been degraded from the upper to the lower class 
 for some prank or other ; the gentlemen who were seated around 
 him were very much like scholars. His former occupations 
 then seemed better to him than those of the present moment, 
 and his preparation for the service superior to the service itself. 
 He began to regret his school-life. And all at once the defunct 
 Alexander Petrovitch stood so vividly before him that he came 
 near bursting into tears. The room spun round, the officials 
 and the tables became all mixed up together, and he with diffi- 
 culty conquered this momentar)'- obscuration of his faculties. 
 " No," he said on recovering himself, "I will set to work, no 
 matter how petty the work may seem in the beginning ! " 
 Then summoning strength to his heart and spirit, he resolved to 
 acquit himself of his duties in imitation of the rest. 
 
 After a short time Tentyotnikoff became used to the service, 
 only it did not prove to be his chief aim and object, as he had 
 at first supposed that it would be, but something of secondary 
 importance. It served as a means of occupying his time, 
 causing him to set a higher value on the moments which 
 remained to him. His uncle, the actual councillor of state, had 
 begun to think that his nephew was going to do him credit, 
 when all of a sudden this nephew disappointed him. 
 
 Among Andrei Ivanovitch's friends — and these were numerous 
 — there chanced to be two who were what is called " embittered
 
 204 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 men." They possessed those uneasy and peculiar characters 
 which not only manifest displeasure at real injustice, but even 
 at whatever seems in their eyes to be unjust. Good men at the 
 outset but disorderly in their own conduct, demanding conside- 
 ration for themselves, and at the same time most intolerant 
 towards others, they acted powerfully on Andrei Ivanovitch by 
 means of their fiery language and the manner in which they 
 evinced their noble indignation against society. After making 
 him irritable, they called his attention to all sorts of trifles to 
 which he would not before have thought of paying any heed. 
 Then Feodor Feodorovitch Lyenitzuin, the chief of one of the 
 departments, suddenly incurred the young fellow's displeasure. 
 Andrei began to seek out a multitude of shortcomings in the chief. 
 It seemed to him that in conversation with his superiors he 
 turned entirely into artificial sugar, and that when he addressed 
 himself to a subordinate, into vinegar ; that, after the manner of 
 all petty-minded individuals, he took note of those who pre- 
 sented themselves with congratulations for him on festive occa- 
 sions, and revenged himself on those whose names did not appear 
 on his porter's list. 
 
 In consequence of this, Andrei Ivanovitch felt a positive dis- 
 gust with him, and at last one day he addressed Feodor Feodoro- 
 vitch with so much impertinence that he received an intimation 
 from the authorities that he must either apologise or send in his 
 resignation. He then sent in his resignation. His uncle, the 
 actual councillor of state, came to him in alarm, with entreaties : 
 " For Christ's sake, Andrei Ivanovitch, consider ! What are you 
 doing ? Abandoning a career so auspiciously begun simply 
 because you happened not to like the chief? Reflect! Who 
 are you ? What is this to you ? Why, if such things were to 
 be noticed, no one would remain in the service. Reconsider 
 the matter, mortify your pride, go and explain matters to him ! " 
 
 " That is not the point, uncle," said the nephew. " It isn't 
 hard for me to ask his pardon. I am in the wrong : he is the 
 chief, and it wasn't proper for me to speak to him in that man- 
 ner. But the question is this : I have another duty — three 
 hundred souls of peasants, an estate in disorder, and a fool as a 
 steward. The empire will suff'er very little loss if another man 
 is set to copying documents in the ofiice in my stead, but there 
 will be a vast loss if three hundred men do not pay their taxes. 
 What do you think about it ? I am a landowner ; if I busy 
 myself with improving and caring for those who are intrusted 
 to me, and if I present the empire with three hundred upright, 
 sober, and industrious subjects, will my service be in any way
 
 TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SORROWS OF LOVE. 205 
 
 inferior to that of any head of department — Lyenitzuin, for 
 instance ? " 
 
 The actual councillor of state stood with his mouth wide open 
 in amazement. He had not expected such a reply. After 
 reflecting for a short time, he began again in this fashion : " But 
 still, my friend, how can you bury yourself in the country ? 
 What sort of society can there be among the moujiks ? Here, 
 at all events, you may encounter a general or a prince in the 
 street. You will pass someone there ; well, and there's the 
 gaslights, and busy Europe hard by, whereas, in the country, 
 cver}'one you meet is either a peasant or a woman. And why 
 condemn yourself to barbarity for your whole life ? " 
 
 However, the convincing arguments of the uncle had no eflfect 
 upon the nephew. The latter felt weary of the service and of the 
 capital. The country had begun to present itself to him in the 
 light of a comfortable retreat, calculated to refresh his mind, 
 and he might there lead a life of useful activity. He had 
 already unearthed the newest books on the subject of village 
 economy. 
 
 Within two weeks after this conversation, Tentyotnikoff was 
 in the neighbourhood of the scenes amid which his childhood 
 had been passed, not far from the very beautiful nook which no 
 visitor or tourist was ever able to admire sufficiently. He had 
 already quite forgotten certain spots, and he gazed with curiosity 
 upon the magnificent views, like a perfect new-comer. And, lo ! 
 for some unknown reason, his heart began to beat on a sudden. 
 When, in answer to the query, " Whose forest is this? " he was 
 told, " Tentyotnikoff 's ; " when, emerging from the forest, the 
 road ran through meadows, past groves of quivering aspens, old 
 willows, and young vines, in sight of the heights which stretched 
 afar ; when it flew over the bridges, leaving the river now on 
 the right, and now on the left ; and when, in answer to the 
 query, "Whose are these fields and water-meadows?" the 
 answer came, " Tentyotnikoff 's ; " when the road again ascended 
 the heights, and ran on the one hand along a level plateau, past 
 crops of wheat, rye, and barley, and on the other past all the 
 places through which he had previously journeyed, and which 
 presented themselves, all of a sudden, foreshortened by the 
 distance ; and when, as the darkness gradually descended, the 
 road again stretched beneath the shadow of luxuriant trees, 
 scattered over the greensward up to the very entrance of the 
 village, and the peasants' cabins made their appearance here 
 and there, together with the red-roofed manor-house and its 
 dependent buildings, and the gleaming golden cupolas of the
 
 206 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 church ; when, by his hotly beating heart and without putting 
 any question, he became conscious what the place was where 
 he had arrived — then it was that the sensations and thoughts 
 which had been incessantly accumulating within him burst 
 into expression in the following words : — 
 
 " Well, and have not I been a fool hitherto ? Fate destined 
 me to be the owner of an earthly paradise, and I bound myself 
 into servitude as a scribbler of dead documents ! The idea of 
 intrusting this place of mine to a steward — of preferring the 
 conduct of affairs at a distance among strangers — of preferring to 
 the actual management of my own property, the fantastic paper 
 management of provinces situated a thousand versts away, 
 where I have never set foot, and in attending to which I can 
 only commit a heap of contradictions and absurdities ! " 
 
 But another spectacle was awaiting him. Having heard of the 
 impending arrival of their master, the moujiks and women had 
 assembled on the verandah ; soroki,"^^ kitchi,f kerchiefs, peasant- 
 kirtles, beards, with all the picturesque accessories of a hand- 
 some population, surrounded him, while the words, " thou 
 our provider ! " rang out, and the old men and women burst 
 into involuntary tears as they recalled his grandfather and great- 
 grandfather. He also could not refrain from tears, and said to 
 himself, "How much love! And why? I had never seen 
 them, never troubled myself about them! " Then he made a 
 vow to share their labours with them, to attend to their wants, 
 in order that their love might not be in vain, and so that he 
 might really be their " provider." 
 
 Accordingly, he began to take charge of the management, and 
 to make various arrangements. He diminished the compulsory 
 service to the lord of the manor, leaving certain days of labour 
 due to the master to the time allowed to the peasant. He 
 dismissed the fool of an overseer. He began to examine into 
 everything himself ; showed himself in the fields, at the 
 threshing-floor, near the grain-ricks, at the mills, the landing- 
 stages, watching the lading and launching of rafts and flat-boats. 
 
 "There he is; see the brisk-legged fellow!" the peasants 
 began to say, while they themselves began to grow indolent, 
 and to scratch the backs of their heads. 
 
 But all this did not last long. The moujiks quickly learn the lay 
 of the land. In this case they speedily understood that although 
 the master was very alert, he had no idea so far as to the 
 
 * Linen head-dresses, stitched with coloured wool or yam, worn by 
 peasant-women in the Ural, 
 t Also head-dresses.
 
 TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OK, THE SORllOWS OF LOVE. 207 
 
 proper way of treating them. And although he spoke in a 
 scholarly manner, it was not to the purpose. The result was, 
 that the master and the peasant not only failed to understand 
 each other and act in harmony, but were incapable of singing 
 the same notes. 
 
 Tentyotnikoff soon observed that everything on the land 
 belonging to himself did not thrive so well as it did on the 
 peasants' land. The seed was sown earlier but came up later ; 
 and yet to all appearance the men worked well. He even pre- 
 sided over the work in person, and ordered a measure of brandy 
 to be given to each man who worked assiduousl3\ The peasants' 
 rye had eared, their oats had yielded bountifully, their millet 
 had developed stalks long before his grain had shown a stem. In a 
 word, he began to perceive that the peasants were simply cheat- 
 ing him, in spite of all the privileges which he had conferred 
 upon them. 
 
 He tried reproof, but merely received some such answer as 
 the following : " How is it possible, master, that we should 
 not rejoice in our lord's profit '? You yourself graciously 
 observed how hard we worked when we were ploughing and 
 sowing. You ordered a measure of vodka apiece for us because 
 we did so." What reply could be made to that ? 
 
 "But why has it all turned out badly now?" the master 
 asked. 
 
 " "WTio knows ? Evidently some worms devoured the seed 
 from below. And just remeinber what a summer we have 
 had : there's been no rain at all." 
 
 But the master saw that no worms had devoured the peasants' 
 crops from below, and that the rain had fallen in a peculiar way : 
 it had favoured the peasants, but not one drop of it had watered 
 the owner's fields. 
 
 It was still more difficult for him to manage the women. 
 They were continually begging olf from their work, and com- 
 plaining of the master's impositions. It was strange ! He had 
 utterly abolished all tributes of linen, berries, mushrooms, and nuts; 
 he had released them from fully half of their other labours, think- 
 ing that the women would devote this time to domestic affairs; that 
 they would mend and make theii- husbands' clothes, and cultivate 
 their vegetable gardens. However, nothing of the sort took place. 
 
 Idleness, quarrelling, gossiping, and all sorts of dissension 
 arose among the fair sex, so that the husbands were continu- 
 ally coming to him with such words as these : " Master, take 
 away that devil of a woman, my wife ! she's a perfect fiend ; 
 there's no living with her ! "
 
 208 DEAD SOULS, 
 
 He hardened his heart, and tried to resort to sternness. But 
 how could he be stern ? A woman would come to him in the 
 regular feminine fashion, weak and ill and whining, with the 
 most horrible and disgusting rags heaped upon her — where she 
 had got them, God only knows! "Go away, go home ! take 
 yourself out of my sight! God be with you!" said poor 
 Tentyotnikoff ; and then he saw the sick woman, as soon as 
 she had emerged from his doors, fight with a neighbour over a 
 beet-root and belabour the neighbour's sides in a way of which a 
 healthy man would have been incapable. 
 
 It occurred to him to try the experiment of establishing a 
 school among them, but this resulted in such folly that he hung 
 his head in shame : it would have been better if he had not 
 thought of it. Finally, in his discouragement his zeal faded 
 away. 
 
 He superintended the work in an inattentive manner. If he 
 stood near-by while the scythes were rustling softly through the 
 grass, or the men were piling the hay in stacks, or loading it on 
 waggons, his eyes gazed into the distance ; if the work was pro- 
 ceeding afar, they sought objects near at hand, or glanced aside 
 at some bend of the river, along the banks of which walked a 
 red-billed, red-legged marten. He gazed at it with curiosity, as 
 it held a fish, which it had canght crosswise in its bill, as 
 though meditating whether it should swallow it or not ; and 
 then gazing intently across the river at another marten, gleaming 
 white in the distance, he saw that it had not caught a fish, but 
 was staring fixedly at the marten who had. Or else deserting 
 both the martens and the bend of the river, screwing his eyes 
 tight together, and throwing up his head towards the airy 
 expanse, he inhaled the perfume of the fields, and listened to the 
 voices of the melodious tenants of the air as they united in one 
 harmonious chorus. He heard the woodcock piping in the rye, 
 the landrail croaking in the grass, the linnets grumbling and 
 twittering as they flitted past, the marsh-snipe shrieking as he 
 rose in the air, the trills of the lark rolling down an invisible 
 ladder of air, and the notes of the stork ringing out like the 
 blasts of a trumpet as it outlined a triangle in the sky. The 
 whole neighbourhood, full of sound, gave back a delightful echo. 
 But even all this began to bore him. He soon ceased to visit 
 the fields altogether and sat in his own room, refusing even to 
 receive the reports of the steward. 
 
 At first some people from the neighbourhood came to visit 
 him — a retired lieutenant of hussars, redolent of tobacco ; a 
 student who had not completed his course but who held very
 
 TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SORROWS OF LOVE. 209 
 
 decided opinions, and had gathered his ■wisdom from current 
 pamphlets and newspapers. However, these visitors also began 
 to bore Andrei. Their conversation seemed to him somewhat 
 superficial : their European style and their familiarities were 
 quite too frank and straightforward for his taste. He decided 
 to cut short his acquaintance with everyone, and he eflFected 
 this in a rather abrupt manner. 
 
 One day, when a retired colonel, a most agreeable super- 
 ficial converser on all sorts of topics, called with the herald of 
 the new order of thought, the student Varvar Nikolaitch Vish- 
 nepokromofi", in order to indulge in a long talk on politics, 
 philosophy, literature, morals, and even the state of English 
 finances — he sent word to say that he was not at home, and, 
 at the same time, was so indiscreet as to show himself at the 
 window. His eyes met those of one of his visitors. One, of 
 course, muttered between his teeth, " The beast ! " The other, 
 in his vexation, sent some word like " pig " after the first. 
 The acquaintanceship ended there. From that time forth, no 
 one called at Tentyotnikofi"s house. 
 
 He was glad of it, and devoted himself to planning a great 
 work on Russia. The reader already knows in what manner he 
 pursued this task. Still, now and then, there was a minute 
 when he was thoroughly aroused from sleep. When the post 
 brought him the newspapers and reviews, and he saw in print 
 the familiar name of some former comrade, who had already 
 succeeded in winning a conspicuous position in the imperial 
 service, or had contributed something important to science or 
 to universal progress, a secret and quiet sorrow penetrated his 
 heart, and a pained, speechlessly sad, gentle complaint at his 
 own inaction involuntarily burst forth. Then his life appeared 
 to him to be hateful and repulsive. Then the vanished years of 
 his life at school rose up before him with extraordinary vivid- 
 ness, and Alexander Petrovitch suddenly stood before him as 
 though he were alive. Finally the tears poured from his eyes 
 in streams. 
 
 What did these tears signify ? Did his pining soul reveal in 
 them the depressing secret of its disease — that the exalted inner 
 man which had begun to take form within him had not suc- 
 ceeded in filling to its outlines, and fixing itself firmly ? That, 
 inexperienced from his very youth, he had not attained to that 
 lofty state of mind to which he had hoped to rise and grow 
 strong on obstacles and limitations ? That his remarkable teacher 
 had died too soon, and that there was no one now in all the 
 world who could arouse the powers kept down by perpetual 
 
 o
 
 210 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 indecision, who could say to him in a voice of encouragenaent 
 that word, "Forward!" which the Kussian thirsts for every- 
 where, no matter what class of society, trade, or calling he may 
 belong to ? 
 
 Who is he who has understood how to say to us, in our 
 native tongue, that all-powerful \^oy^, forward ? Who, knowing 
 all the powers and qualities and all the depths of our natures, 
 could, with one enchanting gesture of the hand, have directed 
 us to higher life ? With what tears, with what love, would the 
 grateful Eussian have requited him ! But century after century 
 has passed by in shameful indolence, Russia remains the same, 
 in immature youth, God vouchsafing no man who knows how 
 to pronounce that all-powerful word ! 
 
 One circumstance came near rousing Tentyotnikoff, and nearly 
 brought about some change in his character. Something in the 
 nature of a love-affair took place. In the neighbourhood, at 
 about ten versts from Tentyotnikoff 's village, there dwelt a 
 general, who lived as a general should — exercised hospitality, 
 was fond of having his neighbours come to pay him their 
 respects, talked in a hoarse voice, read books, and had a 
 daughter — a being such as had never been seen before. It 
 sometimes is vouchsafed to a man to behold something of the 
 sort in his dreams ; and from that time forth, throughout his 
 life, he reflects upon that vision ; reality has for ever disap- 
 peared for him, and he is absolutely good for nothing. 
 
 Her name was Ulinka. She had been rather strangely brought 
 up. An Englishwoman, who did not know a word of Russian, 
 had educated her. She had lost her mother in infancy, and 
 her father had no time to attend to her. Moreover, as he loved 
 her to ma,dness, he might have merely spoiled her. She was 
 self-willed in everything, like a child which has grown up in 
 freedom. If anyone had seen how a sudden outburst of wrath 
 brought a collection of deep wrinkles to her lovely brow, and 
 how warmly she disputed with her father, he would have thought 
 that she was a very capricious creature. But her wrath only 
 flashed up when she heard of some injustice, or of some 
 ill-treatment. She never disputed on her own account, and 
 she never defended herself ; and her anger disappeared on the 
 instant if she saw the person against whom it was directed in 
 trouble. At the first request for alms, no matter from whom it 
 proceeded, she gave all that she had, before she even had time 
 to reflect on the impropriety of flinging away her purse with 
 everything which it contained. 
 
 There was something impetuous about her. When she spoke,
 
 TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SORROWS OF LOVE. 211 
 
 it seemed as though everythmg followed her thoughts : the 
 expression of her countenance, the tone of her voice, the move- 
 ments of her hands, the very folds of her garments, all seemed 
 to incline in the same direction, and it was as though she were 
 on the point of flying after her own words. There was no 
 reserve about her. She never feared to reveal her thoughts to 
 anyone, and no power on earth could reduce her to silence when 
 she wished to speak. Moreover, her peculiar and bewitching 
 walk was so free and unconstrained that anyone would involun- 
 tarily make way for her. In her presence a wicked man grew 
 confused and silent ; the most audacious and unrestrained in 
 his language found not a word to say to her, but lost his wits : 
 though the shy man was able to converse with her as he had 
 never done with anyone else in all his life, and felt from the 
 first moment of the conversation as if he had known her 
 somewhere before, and had already beheld her features ; it 
 seemed to him that this had happened in the depths of his boy- 
 hood, in some familiar house, on a merry evening, amid the 
 joyous games of a throng of children ; and for a long time after- 
 wards the man's age of discretion seemed wearisome to him. 
 
 The very same thing happened in the case of Tentyotnikoff. 
 It seemed to him, from the first day of their acquaintance, that 
 he had alwaj-s known her. A new, inexplicable sensation pene- 
 trated his soul; for an instant a gleam of light illumined his 
 wearisome life. At first the general received the young fellow 
 well and gladly, but they could not get on together. Their 
 conversations ended in disputes, and left a certain unpleasant 
 feeling on both sides : for the general was not fond of contra- 
 diction or retorts ; and Tentyotnikofl', on his side, was quick to 
 take ofience. Of course he forgave the father a great deal for 
 the daughter's sake ; and peace was preserved between them, 
 until some relatives came to visit the general — Countess Bodui- 
 reva and Princess Yuzyakina, who had been maids of honour at 
 court during the preceding reign, and who now kept up some 
 connections with Petersburg, in consequence of which the 
 general paid them great deference. From the very day of their 
 arrival, it seemed to Tentyotnikoff" that he was treated more 
 coldly — that he was overlooked, or regarded as a person of no 
 importance : he was addressed in a somewhat unduly familiar 
 fashion as " My dearest fellow ! " " Listen, my friend ! " and 
 indeed once the general even said " thou " to him. 
 
 This last enraged him. Nevertheless, hardening his heart 
 and setting his teeth, he had the presence of mind to say, in an 
 unusually soft and courteous tone, while a spot of crimson made
 
 212 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 its appearance on his face, and everything within him was boil- 
 ing, " I am obliged to you for your kindly sentiments, general. 
 By employing the word thou, you display an amount of friend- 
 ship which almost induces me to address you as thou also. But 
 the difference in our ages precludes such familiarity between us." 
 
 The general was thrown into confusion. Collecting his words 
 and ideas, he began to say, though in rather an incoherent 
 manner, that the word thou had not been uttered by him in that 
 sense ; that it was permissible for an old man to say thuu to a 
 young one, and so on. It may be noted that he did not utter 
 a syllable about his rank. 
 
 Of course, their acquaintance ceased from that moment, and 
 the love affair came to an end at its very outset. The light 
 which had shone for an instant before Tentyotnikoff was extin- 
 guished, and the shadows which followed upon it seemed all the 
 blacker. His life, indeed, became what the reader has seen at 
 the beginning of this chapter — it was all converted into lying in 
 bed and inactivity. Dirt and disorder took possession of his 
 house. The broom stood for half a day in the middle of the 
 floor, in company with the dirt. His old trousers even strayed 
 into the drawing-room. On the elegant little table which stood 
 in front of the divan there lay a pair of braces, just as though they 
 had been refreshment for a visitor. Our young friend's existence 
 had become trivial and slothful to such a degree that not only 
 did his servants cease to respect him, but the very cocks and 
 hens pecked at him. 
 
 Upon taking his pen in hand, he would pass hours in sketching 
 crooked trees, little houses, peasants' huts, telyegas, and troikas, 
 in a vacant-minded way. However, sometimes, when he had for- 
 gotten everything, the pen, of its own will and without its master's 
 knowledge, drew a little head with delicate features, with an 
 alert, penetrating glance, and a lock of hair turned back ; and the 
 master then, to his amazement, saw that this was the portrait of 
 one whose portrait no artist even could have sketched. And 
 then he became still more melancholy ; and, believing that there 
 is no such thing as happiness upon earth, he grew more bored 
 and silent than before. 
 
 Such was the condition of Andrei Ivanovitch Tentyotnikoff's 
 soul. All at once, while he was one day Avalking to the window, 
 pipe and cup in hand, after the usual order of things, he was 
 stupefied not to hear either Grigoriy or Perfilievna, but he did 
 perceive a bustle and some hurrying to and fro in the yard. 
 The scullion and the floor-washer were hastening to open the 
 gates, at which, indeed, some horses were visible, exactly
 
 TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SORROWS OF LOVE. 213 
 
 like the horses which are carved or drawn on triumphal arches 
 — a muzzle to the right, a muzzle to the left, and a muzzle in 
 the middle. Above them, on the box, sat a coachman^ and a 
 footman in voluminous surtouts. Behind them sat a gentleman 
 in a leather-peaked cap and a cloak, with a scarf of rainbow hues 
 around his neck. AVhen the equipage drew up before the porch 
 with a sweep, it became apparent that it was nothing less than 
 a light britchka on springs. The gentleman, who possessed an 
 extremely pleasing exterior, sprang out of it, with almost the 
 alertness and agility of a military man. 
 
 Andrei Ivanovitch was struck with terror. He took the visi- 
 tor for an otficial from the courts of justice. It must be stated 
 that, in his youth, he had become entangled in a piece of folly. 
 Two philosophers belonging to the hussars, who instead of com- 
 pleting their course in aesthetics, had ruined themselves as 
 gamblers, had got up some philanthropical cociety or other, 
 under the chief superintendence of an old mason, a rascal who 
 was also a gambler, but at the same time a very eloquent man. 
 This society Avas organised with extensive views — to procure 
 lasting happiness for everyone, from the banks of the Thames 
 to Kamtchatka. A vast amount of money was required, and con- 
 tributions were collected among the generous members. Where 
 all this money went to, no one knew, excepting the manager-in- 
 chief. He had inveigled into the company two friends, embit- 
 tered men who had originally been decent fellows, but who had 
 been transformed into regular drunkards by dint of drinking 
 toasts in the honour of science, culture, and the coming respon- 
 sibilities of maukind. Tentyotnikoff soon recovered his senses 
 and freed himself from this circle. But the society had already 
 succeeded in entangling him in some operations of a character 
 not exactl)^ suited to a nobleman, so that an aflair with the police 
 ensued. Thus, it is not surprising that, although he had left the 
 capital, and broken off all connection with the society, he did 
 not feel quite at ease. His conscience was not quite clear, and 
 indeed it was with some alarm that he now gazed at the door 
 as it opened. 
 
 However, his terror vanished at once when his visitor, after 
 bowing with incredible skill, somewhat on one side, but keeping 
 his head in a respectful position, explained, in soft but decisive 
 words, that he had recently been traversing Russia, impelled by 
 both business and curiosity ; that the empire abounded in 
 noteworthy objects, not to mention the abundance of trades and 
 the variety of soils to be found ; that he had been attracted by 
 the picturesque situation of the village, but that he should not
 
 214 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 have ventured to intrude, if, in consequence of tlie spring floods 
 and the bad roads, his equipage had not sustained an unexpected 
 fracture, which required the intervention of a blacksmith and 
 some artisans. However, he added that, even if no accident 
 had happened to his britchka, he could not have denied himself 
 the pleasure of personally presenting his respects. 
 
 On finishing this speech, the guest, with bewitching suavity, 
 gave a scrape of his foot, which was shod in an elegant varnished 
 shoe, fastened with mother-of-pearl buttons, and, notwithstand- 
 ing his corpulence, he sprang backwards with the lightness of an 
 india-rubber ball. 
 
 Andrei Ivanovitch felt re-assured, and concluded that this 
 must be some inquisitive professor, who was travelling through 
 Russia for the purpose of collecting some plants or other, or 
 possibly fossils. He immediately expressed his readiness to 
 render every assistance in his power ; he offered the services of 
 his artisans, his wheelwrights and blacksmiths ; he requested 
 the stranger to dispose of everything as though he were in his 
 own house ; he even seated him in his own large reclining- 
 chair, and then prepared to listen to his remarks upon the natural 
 sciences. 
 
 But the guest touched rather upon philosophical matters. He 
 likened his life to a vessel in the midst of the sea, driven hither 
 and thither by treacherous winds ; he mentioned that he had 
 been obhged to make numerous changes in his place of residence 
 and his occupation ; that he had suffered much for the truth's 
 sake ; that his life had even been more than once in danger from 
 his enemies ; and he related many things of a sort which showed 
 him to be a practical man. At the conclusion of his speech, he 
 blew his nose in a white cambric handkerchief, with such vio- 
 lence that it gave a report the like of which Andrei Ivanovitch had 
 never heard before. There is at times in an orchestra a horn which 
 seems to blare in your ear, instead of in the orchestra. Exactly 
 such a sound echoed through the startled apartments of the 
 slumbering house ; and immediately after it came the smell of 
 eav -de-Cologne, which was invisibly disseminated by a skilful 
 flourish of the cambric pocket-handkerchief 
 
 The reader has probably already divined that the visitor was 
 none other than our respected and long-neglected Pavel Ivano- 
 vitch Tchitchikoff. He had grown a little older evidently ; 
 time had not passed by without tempests and anxieties. It 
 seemed as though the very swallow-tailed coat on his back had 
 grown antique, and the britchka, and the coachman and the 
 valet, the horses and the harness, had all become worn and
 
 TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SORROWS OF LOVE, 215 
 
 threadbare. From this it appeared that his finances were not 
 in an enviable condition. However, the expression of his face, 
 his courtesy, and his manners remained the same. He had be- 
 come even more agreeable in his movements and conduct, 
 and he twisted one leg under the other in a more skilful 
 fashion than ever when he seated himself in his arm-chair. 
 There was more suavity in his turns of speech, more caution 
 and moderation in his words and expressions, more dexterity in 
 his bearing, more tact about him in every way. His collar and 
 shu't-bosom wei'e cleaner and whiter than snow, and despite 
 the fact that he was on a journey, there was not even a speck 
 of dust upon his coat — it was exactly as though he had just come 
 from a birthday dinner. His cheeks and chin were so beauti- 
 fully shaven that even a blind man might have admired their 
 agreeably rounded contours. 
 
 A tran'sformation at once took place in the house. That 
 half of it which had hitherto remained dark, with the shutters 
 closed, suddenly blossomed out and received light. Every- 
 thing began to move about in the newly illuminated rooms, and 
 matters soon assumed a different aspect. All the ai'ticles indis- 
 pensable for a toilet for the night were placed in the chamber 
 which, was assigned to the visitor as a bedroom. As for the 
 apartment which was intended for his study, there were here 
 three tables : one, a writing-table, stood before the sofa ; the 
 second, a card-table, was placed between the two windows and 
 in front of the mirror ; the third, a corner-table, stood in the 
 angle between the door leading to the bedroom and the door 
 opening into an unoccupied hall, filled with decrepit furniture, 
 and now used as an ante-room, in which no one had set foot 
 for a year previously. On this corner-table some clothes which 
 had been taken out of our hero's trunk were placed, namely, 
 a coat, beneath it a pair of trousers, a second pair ditto quite 
 new, and grey in colour, also two velvet and two satin 
 waistcoats, and a surtout. All these things were arranged one 
 on the top of the other in pyramid fashion, and were covered 
 over with a silk handkerchief. In the other corner between the 
 door and the window was ranged a row of boots : some were 
 not quite new, others were entirely new ; there were patent- 
 leather boots, low shoes, and chamber slippers. They also 
 were modestly veiled with a silk handkerchief, so that it was 
 just the same as if they were not there. 
 
 On the writing-table were speedily arranged with great 
 regularity a dressing-case, a bottle of eau-de-CoJoijne, some 
 toothpicks, a calendar, and two novels — the second volume of
 
 216 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 each only. The clean linen was placed in the chest of drawers 
 which stood in the bedroom, and the linen which required 
 washing was tied up in a bundle and thrust under the bed ; the 
 trunk, when it had been emptied, was also shoved under the bed. 
 As for the sword which our hero carried with him on the road in 
 order to inspire robbers with salutary fear, that also Avas placed 
 in the bedroom, and suspended from a nail not far from the bed. 
 Everything assumed an aspect of neatness and order. Nowhere 
 was there a scrap of paper, a pen, or a speck of dust. The very 
 air seemed to have become ennobled. The odour of a fresh and 
 healthy man who does not wear his linen too long, but takes a 
 bath and rubs himself down with a damp sponge every Sun- 
 day, began to fill the apartment. The odour of the valet Pe- 
 trushka attempted for a time to establish itself in the ante-room ; 
 however, Petrushka was speedily transferred to the kitchen, as 
 was fitting. 
 
 At first Andrei Ivanovitch feared for his independence ; he was 
 alarmed lest any visitor should embarrass him with any changes 
 in his mode of life, which was so cleverly arranged. But his 
 fears were unfounded. Our hero, Pavel Ivanovitch, displayed a 
 remarkable capacity for adapting himself to all circumstances. 
 He expressed his approval of his host's philosophical and 
 methodical disposition, saying that it promised to prolong his 
 life for a century. With regard to solitude, he expressed him- 
 self very happily to the effect that it promoted grand thoughts 
 in a man. Then after glancing into the library and praising 
 books in general, he remarked that they rescued a man from idle- 
 ness. He let fall but few words, but those few were weighty. 
 In his behaviour he displayed even more tact. He made his 
 appearance just at the proper time, and he vanished at the 
 very moment which was fitting ; he did not worry his host with 
 questions during the latter's taciturn moods ; he took pleasure in 
 playing at chess with him, and he enjoyed keeping silent. 
 While one of them was emitting curling wreaths of smoke fi'om 
 his pipe, the other, who did not smoke, devised an occupation 
 which corresponded with it : for example, he pulled a snufi'box 
 of oxidized silver from his pocket, and grasping it firmly 
 between two fingers of his left hand, he twirled it briskly with 
 his right fore-finger — so that it looked like the earth whirling 
 on its axis — or else he drummed on the cover with his finger, 
 and whistled all the while. In short, he did not incommode his 
 entertainer in the least. 
 
 "I now behold for the first time a man with whom it is 
 possible to live," said Tentyotnikofi" to himself. "On the whole,
 
 TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OK, THE SORROWS OF LOVE. 217 
 
 this is rare among us. There are plenty of people who are 
 learned and cultivated and good, but as for people of a perfectly 
 equable temperament, people with whom one could pass one's 
 life without quarrelling, I really do not know whether many 
 such persons are to be found anywhere. At all events, this is 
 the first man of the sort whom I have seen." Thus did Tentyot- 
 nikofi" express himself with regard to his visitor. 
 
 Tchitchikofl", on his side, felt very glad that he had quartered 
 himself for a time at the house of this quiet and peaceable young 
 man. He had grown tired of his gipsy life. Even from a 
 sanitary point of view, it would prove advantageous to rest for 
 /a month in this lovely village, in sight of the meadows and the 
 budding spring. 
 
 It would have been difiicult to find a nook better suited for 
 repose. The spring, long retarded, was suddenly bursting forth 
 in all its beauty, and life was beginning to display itself in every 
 direction. The fresh and early emerald verdure was dotted 
 with yellow dandelions, while the purple anemone nodded its 
 graceful head. Swarms of gnats and other insects made their 
 appearance in the swamps : the water-spider was already 
 hastening in pursuit of them, and birds of every species as- 
 sembled among the dry reeds. Ducks and all other kinds of 
 water-fowl fluttered down upon the flooded lakes and rivers. 
 The earth all at once became populous ; the forests awoke from 
 their sleep ; the meadows became vocal. How brilliant was the 
 verdure ! how fresh the air ! What bird-calls rang through the 
 gardens ! what echoes, what cries of joy from everything ! The 
 village was full of harmony and song, as though a wedding were 
 going on. Walks were taken in every direction, and Tchitchi- 
 kofl' himself walked a great deal. 
 
 At one time he du'ected his course to the summit of the hill, 
 which aflbrded a view of the spreading valleys below, where 
 there still lingered some wide lakes formed by the inundations, 
 with islands of still leafless forest lying darkly in their midst ; or 
 else he strolled through the wooded ravines, where the thickly 
 clustering trees, weighed down with the nests of cawing rooks, 
 which obscured the heavens with their fitful flittings, were 
 beginning to deck themselves with leaves. Again he betook 
 himself over to the wharf, whence the first boats were setting 
 out, laden with peas and barley and wheat, while the water 
 dashed noisily against the wheel of the mill, which was just 
 beginning to work. He went to inspect the first spring hus- 
 bandry — he watched the plough turn up black strips of earth 
 amid the green ; or saw how the dexterous sower, tapping the
 
 218 Dead souls. 
 
 sieve which hung from his breast, scattered the seed evenly and 
 in the right spot, so that not a grain fell on either one side or 
 the other. 
 
 Indeed Tchitchikoff went everywhere. He talked and dis- 
 cussed things with the overseer, with the peasants, and with 
 the miller. He knew everybody and all about everything, the 
 how and the Avhy ; in what fashion the affairs of the estate were 
 progressing, and how much the grain sold for, how much of it 
 was sent to be ground in the autumn, and how much in the 
 spring, together with the names of all the moujiks, and where 
 this one had purchased his cow, and what that one fed his pigs 
 on — in short, everything. He also learned how many peasants 
 had died, and it appeared that they were not numerous. Being 
 a man of discernment, he perceived that, so far as his pet scheme 
 went, matters would not progress well with Andrei Ivanovitch. 
 On the other hand, ignorance, neglect, thieving, and intoxication 
 prevailed everywhere. And he said to himself, in his own mind, 
 *' What a fool that Tentyotnikoff is ! Such an estate, and to 
 neglect it so ! He might have an income of fifty thousand 
 roubles a year ! " 
 
 More than once it occurred to him, in the course of his walks, 
 that he would some time — that is to say, not now, but later on, 
 when his principal business had been settled, and he had 
 the means on hand — become the peaceful owner of some 
 such estate as this one. Then, naturally, there presented itself 
 to his imagination the figure of a rosy, fair-haired young girl, 
 from the merchant or some other wealthy social class, and who 
 would even understand music. A younger generation, destined 
 to perpetuate the name of Tchitchikoff, also presented itself to 
 him — a frolicsome little boy and a beautiful daughter, or two 
 small urchins and two, or even three, little maidens, so that it 
 might be known to all men that he had actually lived and 
 existed, and had not merely passed over the earth like a shadow 
 or a ghost. 
 
 Then he began to fancy that it would not be a bad idea to 
 make some additions to his rank: "councillor of state," for 
 instance, is an honourable title, and one deserving of respect. 
 How many things enter a man's mind in the course of his walks ! 
 They frequently divert him from the wearisome present, mock 
 him, torment him, excite his imagination, and remain dear to 
 him even when he himself feels convinced that they will never 
 be realised ! 
 
 The village also pleased Pavel Ivanovitch's servants. They, 
 like himself, had become accustomed to it. Petrushka speedily
 
 TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SOUROWS OF LOVE. 219 
 
 struck up a friendship with the butler, Grigoriy, although at 
 first both of them assumed a great deal of dignity, and put on 
 some intolerable airs in speaking to each other. Petrushka 
 tried to lord it over Grigoriy on the strength of having seen so 
 many places ; but GrigOriy promptly quenched him with Peters- 
 burg, where Petrushka had never been. The latter then 
 attempted to recover his position, and launched into details as to 
 the distance of the places which he had visited ; but Grigoriy 
 mentioned a place which is not to be found on any map, and 
 reckoned up over thirty thousand versts, so that Pavel Ivano- 
 vitch's servitor remained dumbfounded, dropped his jaw, and 
 was then and there held up to the ridicule of all the domestics. 
 The matter ended, however, in a close friendship springing up 
 between the valet and the butler. Bald Pimen, a peasant, kept 
 a drinking-shop at the end of the village, and here the two 
 cronies were to be seen at all hours of the day. They became 
 perfectly at home there, or, as the peasants expressed it, 
 " fixtures." 
 
 Selifan, on his side, found a difierent sort of attraction. As 
 soon as evening came, the village maids sang songs, and wove 
 and broke the chain of the spring khorovods.''' The girls, finely 
 formed creatures of good race, such as are not now to be found 
 in the large villages, kept him playing at "raven" for hours 
 together. It was hard to tell which of them was the prettiest : 
 they all had white necks, white bosoms, and bright, rolling 
 eyes ; they walked like peacocks, and wore plaits of hair hang- 
 ing to their waists. When, taking their white hands in both of 
 his, he moved sloAvly with them in the choral dance, or left them 
 and stationed himself with the other lads in a line opposite 
 them, all the gallants stepping forward, in rank to meet the 
 maidens, while the latter, laughing loudly, sang, " Lords, show 
 the bridegroom!" — then, while the fading light of evening 
 vanished, and the shades descended all around, the mournful 
 echo of their song ringing back from far beyond the river, he 
 himself did not know Avhat was going on within him. Morning 
 and evening, sleeping or waking, thereafter, all things danced 
 before his eyes, and he seemed to hold white hands in his own, 
 and to be ever moving through the choral dance. 
 
 Tchitchikoff"s horses also were content with their new abode. 
 The oats were excellent, and the arrangements of the stable 
 were remarkably comfortable. From each stall, although it 
 was divided ofi", it was possible to see the other horses over the 
 
 * Dances accompanied by songs and games.
 
 220 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 partitions ; and if any one of them, even the most distant of 
 the lot, took a foolish fancy to neigh, it was possible to hear 
 him at once. 
 
 In short, they all felt quite at home. As far as the business 
 upon which Pavel Ivanovitch was traversing far-reaching Russia 
 — the dead souls — was concerned, he had become extremely 
 cautious and delicate, even when he had to deal with downright 
 fools. And he had to be all the more cautious with Teutyotni- 
 koff, for the latter was certainly not a fool ; he read books, and 
 philosophised, and tried to explain to himself the cause of every- 
 thing. " No ; it will be better to see whether he cannot be ap- 
 proached more successfully in another manner," thought Tchit- 
 chikoff, who, during his chats with the house-serfs, had found 
 out that their master had formerly been in the habit of going 
 to see his neighbour, the general, very frequently. He had 
 learnt, too, that the general had a daughter ; that their master 
 had evidently been made for the young lady, and the young 
 lady for their master. However, they had fallen out all of a 
 sudden, and had parted. Moreover, our hero himself had ob- 
 served that Andrei Ivanovitch was always sketching heads with 
 his pen and pencil, and that these heads all resembled one another. 
 
 Once, after dinner, while twirling his silver snuif-box round 
 as usual, our hero began as follows : " You have everything in 
 the world, Andrei Ivanovitch ; yes, everything save one." 
 
 " What is that ? " inquired the host, emitting a wreath of 
 smoke. 
 
 " A companion for your life," said Tchitchikoff. 
 
 But Andrei Ivanovitch said nothing, and there the conversa- 
 tion rested. 
 
 Tchitchikoff was not disconcerted, however ; in fact, he chose 
 another opportunity, just before supper. While they were dis- 
 cussing one thing and another, he suddenly remarked, " Why, 
 really, Andrei Ivanovitch, it wouldn't be a bad thing for you if 
 you married." 
 
 Not a word did Tentyotnikoft respond to this, exactly as 
 though the subject were displeasing to him. 
 
 Still Tchitchikoff was not discouraged. He selected a third 
 occasion, after supper, and then spoke thus : " However much I 
 turn your circumstances over in my mind, it seems to me quite 
 necessary for you to marry : you are falling into hypochondria." 
 
 On this occasion, Tchitchikoff' s words were very decisive, or 
 else Tentyotnikoff's frame of mind was favourable to frank- 
 ness — at all events, the young fellow sighed, and said, " In 
 love, as in everything else, one needs to be born lucky.
 
 TENTYOTNIKOFF ; OR, THE SORHOWS OF LOVE. 221 
 
 Pavel Ivanovitch." And then he related to him the -whole 
 history of his acquaintance with the general, and of the quar- 
 rel, just as it had taken place. 
 
 When Tcbitchikofi' had heard the whole story, word by word, 
 and learnt that the entire matter had arisen from the word 
 thou, he was taken aback. For a moment he looked Tenty- 
 otnikoff fixedly in the eyes, and could not decide whether he 
 was simply a fool or a thorough lunatic. 
 
 " Pray, Andrei Ivanovitch," he said at length, taking him 
 by both hands, " what insult was there in that ? AVhat is there 
 offensive about the word thou / " 
 
 " There's nothing offensive about the word itself," answered 
 Tentyotnikoff ; " but there may be in its application, in the way 
 in which it is uttered ; that's where the insult lies. Thou — 
 that signifies, * Recollect that you are a good-for-nothing fel- 
 low. I only receive you here because there is no one better 
 than you in the neighbourhood ; but now a certain Princess 
 Yuzyakina has come, so learn to know 3^our place, and remain 
 on the threshold.' That's what it means ! " So saying, the 
 ej'es of the gentle and peaceable Andrei Ivanovitch flashed : and 
 the irritation of his w^ounded feelings was audible in his voice. 
 
 "But even in that sense, what harm does it do?" asked 
 Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " What ! Do you think that I should continue to visit him 
 after such misconduct ? " 
 
 " But what misconduct ? That is not misconduct," said 
 Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " "WThy is it not misconduct?" inquired Tentyotnikoff in 
 amazement. 
 
 " Oh ! it is merely a habit with generals, and not misconduct ; 
 they say thou to everybody. And, moreover, why should it 
 not be allowable in a worthy man who has served his time 
 honourably ?" 
 
 " That's a different thing," said Tentyotnikoff. "If he had 
 been an old man, or a poor man, neither proud inor boastful, 
 nor a general, I would willingly permit him to address me as 
 thou." 
 
 " This fellow's an utter fool ! " said Tchitchikoff to himself. 
 " The idea of permitting a thing to a ragamuffin, and not to a 
 general ! — Very well," he said aloud, " let us assume that he did 
 insult you ; well, you have had your revenge on him : he said 
 ' thou ' to you, and you said it to him. But to quarrel, to part 
 for ever on account of a trifle, that is — you must excuse me — 
 absurd. When a man has chosen his goal, he must bid defiance
 
 222 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 to all obstacles. Why consider the fact that a man spits at you ? 
 Man is always spitting : that's the way he is made. And you 
 may search the whole world through now for a man who has 
 not at some time spat at another man, and you won't find one." 
 
 "A strange man this Tchitchikoff ! " said Tentyotnikoff to 
 himself in surprise, quite disconcerted by these words. 
 
 " But what an eccentric fellow this Tentyotnikofl' is ! " Tchi- 
 tchikoff Avas thinking at the same moment. " Andrei Ivanovitch, 
 I will talk with you like a brother to a brother. You are an in- 
 experienced man. Allow me to manage this aifair. I will go to 
 his excellency, and explain to him that it happened through a 
 misunderstanding on your side — through your youth and lack of 
 acquaintance with men and with the world." 
 
 "I have no intention of humbling myself to him," said Tenty- 
 otnikoff, taking offence ; " and I cannot authorise you to do so 
 on my behalf." 
 
 " I am incapable of acting improperly," retorted Tchitchikoff, 
 also offended. " Of other errors I may have been guilty, in 
 common with the rest of mankind, but of baseness, never ! Ex- 
 cuse me, Andrei Ivanovitch, but I did not expect that you would 
 take my words in such an insulting sense." All this was spoken 
 with an air of dignity. 
 
 " I am in the wrong ; forgive me," said Tentyotnikoff hastily, 
 and with emotion, seizing hold of both his hands. "I did not 
 think of wounding you. I swear to you that your kindly 
 sympathy is dear to me. But let us drop this discussion. We 
 will never mention it again." 
 
 " In that easel shall go to the general." 
 
 " Why ? " asked Tentyotnikoff", looking our hero straight in 
 the eyes in his amazement. j 
 
 " To present my respects." / 
 
 " A strange fellow this Tchitchikoff! " thought Tentyotnikoff. 
 
 " A strange fellow this Tentyotnikoff! " thought Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " I shall go to him at about ten o'clock to-morrow morning, 
 Andrei Ivanovitch. In my opinion, the sooner one pays one's 
 respects to a man the better. As my britchka is not yet in a 
 suitable condition, allow me to use your calash. In that way, 
 I shall be able to reach his house at about ten o'clock to-morrow 
 morning." 
 
 "Certainly; what a request! You are completely master 
 here, and the equipage and everything else are entirely at your 
 disposal." 
 
 After this conversation they separated and went off to bed, 
 not without meditating on each other's peculiarities,
 
 AN ANCIENT RELIC OF 1812. 223 
 
 The afiair was really very singular. The next morning, 
 when the horses were brought round for Tchitchikoff, and he 
 sprang into the calash, with almost as much agility as a military 
 man, in a new coat, a white neckcloth and waistcoat, and drove 
 off to pay his respects to the general, Tentyotnikoff was assailed 
 by feelings such as he had not experienced for a long time. 
 His rusty, dreamy thoughtfulness was converted into active 
 disquietude. A nervous emotion suddenly overpowered all the 
 other feelings of this idler, who had hitherto been wholly en- 
 grossed in heedless indolence. He now seated himself on the 
 sofa ; then he strayed to the window, then picked up a book, 
 then tried to think, but his endeavours were fruitless ! Not a 
 thought entered his brain. Then he tried to avoid thinking of 
 anything — vain effort ! Fragments of something resembling 
 thought, odds and ends, crept in from everywhere, and clung to 
 his brain. " What a strange state of mind !" he said, and he 
 approached the window, to gaze at the road which cut through 
 the gloomy forest, at the extremity of which the dust raised 
 by the departing calash was still revolving like smoke. But let 
 us abandon Tentyotnikoff, and follow our hero to the general's. 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 AN ANCIENT EELIC OF 1812. 
 
 In a little more than half an hour, the good horses carried 
 Tchitchikoff a distance of ten versts,* first through the dense 
 forest, then between the fields of grain, which were already 
 beginning to show green through the freshly ploughed soil ; then 
 along a rocky ridge, whence views of the distant landscape were 
 at each moment disclosed ; then up a broad avenue of lime-trees, 
 which had as yet hardly put forth their leaves. He thus pro- 
 ceeded to the very centre of the village. Here the avenue 
 of lime-trees made a turn to the right and changed into a street 
 of poplars, hemmed in below by a fence, which terminated in 
 some open-work iron gates, through which peeped the facade of 
 the general's house, resting on eight Corinthian columns, and 
 richly ornamented with florid carving. Paint had been applied 
 everywhere ; everything was kept in due repair, and nothing 
 was allowed to fall into decay. The courtyard resembled a 
 * A verst is about three-quarters of a mile.
 
 224 DEAD SOULS, 
 
 polished wooden floor in cleanliness. Driving up to the entrance, 
 Tchitchikoff sprang out, asked to be announced to the general, 
 and was forthwith conducted to the latter's study. 
 
 The general surprised him by his magnificent personal appear- 
 ance. He was clad in a wadded satin dressing-gown, of a superb 
 purple hue. His glance was frank, his face manly; his moustache 
 and bushy whiskers were streaked with grey ; his hair was 
 clipped close behind his head, allowing a full view of his thick 
 neck, which was of the sort known as "three-storey," having 
 three folds, with a transverse crease. In a word, he was one 
 of those picturesque generals in whom the famous year '12 
 abounded. 
 
 General Betrishtcheff was indeed possessed of a multitude of 
 good qualities and of a multitude of defects. As is usual with 
 Russians, both were mingled within him in a sort of picturesque 
 disorder. In decisive moments he displayed magnanimity, 
 valour, wisdom, an unbounded generosity in everything, and, 
 mingled with this, caprices of ambition, and that petty personal 
 touchiness which no single Russian can ever dispense with when 
 he is sitting in idleness, and when no demands are made upon 
 his decision. He did not like those who had outstripped him 
 in the service, but expressed himself in biting terms and pointed 
 epigrams with regard to them. The one who sufi'ered most of 
 all was a former comrade, whom he regarded as an inferior to 
 himself in brains and capacity, but who had, nevertheless, 
 risen above him, being already governor-general of two provinces, 
 and, as though on purpose to spite him, of the very two in 
 which his own estates were situated, so that he found himself 
 dependent upon his rival, as it were. In revenge. General 
 Betrishtcheff' slandered his ex-comrade on every possible occa- 
 sion, blamed every regulation which he made, and regarded 
 every measure he took as the height of folly. 
 
 There was something strange about our general. He loved 
 incense ; he loved brilliancy ; he was fond of boasting of 
 his brains ; he was also fond of knowing things which other 
 people did not know, and he did not like the people who knew 
 anything of which he was ignorant. Although he had received 
 a semi-foreign education, he was desirous of playing the part 
 of a Russian gentleman in perfection. And it is not to be 
 wondered at that with such unevenness, with such strong and 
 salient contradictions of character, he should have experienced 
 in the service a multitude of vexations, in consequence of 
 which he had handed in his resignation, laying the blame of 
 his worry on some inimical party, since he lacked the mag-
 
 AN ANCIENT RELIC OF 1812. 225 
 
 nanimlty to assume any portion of the blame himself. He pre- 
 served, in his retirement, the picturesquely grand demeanour of 
 his profession. He was always the same, whether clad in 
 a dress-coat, a surtout, or a dressing-gown. From the tone of 
 his voice to the slightest movement of his body, everything 
 about him was masterly and commanding ; and inspired, if not 
 respect, at least fear, in the lower ranks. 
 
 Tchitchikoflf experienced mingled fear and respect. Bending 
 his head reverentially on one side, and making a fleeting out- 
 ward movement with his hands, as though preparing to lift a 
 tray full of cups, he inclined his body with wonderful agility, 
 and said, " I have regarded it as my duty to present myself to 
 your excellency. Cherishing as I do a reverence for the valour 
 of the men who saved then- country upon the field of battle, 
 I have regarded it as my duty to present myself in person to 
 your excellency." 
 
 This proceeding was evidently not displeasing to the general. 
 With an exceedingly condescending movement of the head, he 
 said, " I am very glad to make your acquaintance. I beg you 
 to do me the favour to take a seat. Where have you served ? " 
 
 "My career in the service," replied Tchitchikofl:', seating 
 himself in the arm-chair, not in the middle, but sideways, and 
 grasping the arms with his hands, " began in the department of 
 justice, your excellency. Its latter course was completed in 
 discharging various duties — in the superior courts, on a building 
 commission, and in the custom-house service. My life may be 
 likened to a vessel amid the billows, your excellency. In 
 patience, as I may say, I was born and swaddled ; and I am, 
 so to speak, patience itself personified. But as for the enemies 
 who have sought my life, no words, no colours, so to speak, 
 can possibly portray them in a proper manner. Hence, in the 
 decline of life, I am merely seeking a nook where I may pass 
 the remnant of my days. I have been stopping for a while with 
 a near neighbour of your excellency." 
 
 "Who is that?" 
 
 " Tentyotnikoflf, your excellency." 
 
 The general frowned. * 
 
 "He greatly regrets, your excellency, that he did not show 
 proper respect." 
 
 "To what?" 
 
 " To your excellency's merits. He finds no words — He 
 says, ' If I could in any way atone — for truly I have not known 
 how to value the men who saved our fatherland.* " 
 
 " Pray, what is he thinking of? I'm not angry with him," 
 
 p
 
 226 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 said the mollified general. "From my soul I sincerely like 
 him, and I am convinced that he will become a very useful man 
 in the course of time." 
 
 " You have been pleased to express yourself admirably, your 
 excellency. Really, a most useful man : perhaps he will con- 
 quer the world with his gift of language ; he is a master with 
 his pen." 
 
 " I suppose he writes some sort of nonsense — verses, eh ? " 
 
 " No, your excellency, not nonsense. He is writing some- 
 thing practical — history, your excellency." 
 
 " History ? The history of what ? " 
 
 "The history" — here Tchitchikoflf paused; and whether it 
 was because the general was sitting opposite him, or else because 
 he wished to impart more weight to the subject, he added, 
 " The history of generals, your excellency." 
 
 " Of generals ? Of what generals ? " 
 
 " Of generals in general, your excellency; of generals as a 
 body. That is, to speak accurately, of the generals of our coun- 
 try." Tchitchikoff had become completely entangled and had 
 lost his head; he could not help saying to himself, " Heavens, 
 what nonsense I am talking ! " 
 
 " Excuse me, I do not understand you very clearly. What is 
 it about ? Is it to be the history of some particular period, or a 
 series of separate biographies ? and of all our generals or only 
 of those who were engaged in the war of 1812 ? " 
 
 " Exactly so, your excellency ; of those who took part in the 
 war of 1812." Having thus spoken, our hero said to himself, 
 " May I be hanged if I understand it ! " 
 
 " Then why doesn't he come to see me ? I could furnish him 
 with a very great quantity of curious materials." 
 
 "He is afraid, your excellency." 
 
 " "What nonsense ! On account of a few idle words ! But 
 I'm not that kind of a man at all. I am willing to go to see 
 him, if you like." 
 
 " He will not permit that : he will come to you," said Tchi- 
 tchikoff recovering himself. As he regained his courage he thought 
 "What a chance ! I came to the general's just at the right time ! 
 But my tongue has been rattling away like a fool's.'' 
 
 At this moment a rustling sound became audible in the study. 
 A walnut-wood door opened, and a living form appeared, hold- 
 ing the bronze knob in its hand. If a transparent picture, bril- 
 liantly illuminated by lights from behind, had suddenly made its 
 appearance in the dark room, it would not have produced a more 
 startling effect. The girl who thus presented herself had evi-
 
 AN ANCIENT RELIC OF 1812. 227 
 
 dently entered for the purpose of saying something to the gene- 
 ral, but had stopped short on catching sight of the stranger. It 
 seemed as though a ray of sunshine had flitted in with her, and 
 as though the general's frowning study had burst into a laugh. 
 Straight and light as an arrow, she seemed taller than most of 
 her sex. But this was an illusion, for she was not of such lofty 
 stature. It was the result of the remarkably harmonious com- 
 bination of all the proportions of her body. Her gown fitted 
 her as though the very best dressmakers had taken counsel 
 together as to how they might best adorn her. But this also 
 was an illusion. She dressed herself : she pricked her needle 
 into some material or other, and it at once draped and arranged 
 itself around her in such loops and folds that, if she had been 
 transferred to canvas with all these bcAvitching draperies, she 
 would have been pronounced the copy of a work of genius. All 
 fashionably dressed young ladies would have appeared like the 
 motley products of the rag-market, in her presence. However, 
 despite all her comeliness, she was somewhat too thin and slender. 
 *' Let me introduce my spoiled pet to you," said the general, 
 turning to Tchitchikoflf. " But I do not yet know your names." 
 " Is the name of a man who has never distinguished himself 
 by his merits of any consequence ? " asked Tchitchikoflf, modestly 
 dropping his head. 
 
 "Still, it is necessary to know." 
 
 "Pavel Ivanovitch, your excellency," replied Tchitchikoff, 
 bowing with almost the skill of a military man, and skipping 
 backwards with the lightness of an india-rubber ball. 
 
 " Ulinka," said the general, turning to his daughter, "Pavel 
 Ivanovitch has just imparted some interesting news to me. 
 Our neighbour, Tentyotnikoflf, is not at all so stupid a fellow as 
 we supposed. He is occupied with a rather important work — 
 the history of the generals of 1812." 
 
 " But who thought that he was a stupid man '? " hastily re- 
 marked the girl. "No one, probably, excepting VishnepokromojQf, 
 whom you put faith in, and who is a base and empty-headed 
 fellow." 
 
 " AVhy is he base ? He is rather empty-headed ; that's true," 
 said the general. 
 
 " He is not only empty-headed, but mean and crafty. A 
 man who has insulted his brothers and driven his sister out of 
 the paternal house, must be a mean fellow." 
 " But that is only what people say." 
 
 " Such things are not said without cause. I do not under- 
 stand, father, how anyone with your kind soul, and with such
 
 228 DEAD SOtJLS. 
 
 a rare heart as you have, can receive a man who is as far re- 
 moved from you as heaven is from earth, and whom you your- 
 self know to be bad." 
 
 " There, you see," said the general, smiling at Tchitchikoff, 
 ** that's the way she and I always quarrel with each other; " 
 and turning to his daughter, he continued, " But, my love, I can- 
 not drive him away." 
 
 " Why should you drive him away ? But why show him so 
 much attention ? Why pet him ? " 
 
 Here Tchitchikoff thought it incumbent on him to interpose 
 a word. " Everyone asks for love, sudaruinya,'^' said Tchitchi- 
 koff. " What is to be done ? Even animals like to be stroked. 
 Bears will thrust their muzzles through the bars of their cages, 
 as much as to say, ' Come, pat me ! ' " 
 
 The general broke into a laugh "They really do thrust 
 their muzzles through : * Come, pat me ! ' Ha, ha, ha ! And 
 there are some who are not content with all that, but want 
 you to come into their dens, and demand encouragement, as it 
 were. Ha, ha, ha ! " and the general's sides began to quiver 
 with laughter. His shoulders, which had formerly supported 
 his heavy epaulets, shook too, exactly as though they still upheld 
 those ornamental appendages. 
 
 Tchitchikoff also gave a laugh, but out of respect for the 
 general, he emitted it in the letter e, — "He, he ! he, he, he ! " 
 And his body also began to quiver with laughter, but his 
 shoulders did not shake, because they had never worn heavy 
 epaulets. 
 
 "A man will steal, he will rob the treasury, and yet demand 
 a reward for it, the beast I ' It's impossible,' says he ' to labour 
 without encouragement.' Ha, ha, ha, ha ! " 
 
 "Has your excellency ever heard that story, 'Love us while 
 We are dirty, everyone will love us when we're clean,' " said 
 Tchitchikoff, turning to the general with rather a roguish smile. 
 
 " No, I have never heard it." 
 
 " It is a most curious anecdote, your excellency. On the 
 estate of Prince Gukzovsky, whom your excellency probably 
 knows — " 
 
 " No, I do not know him." 
 
 " Well, there was a German overseer there, your excellency, 
 ^=-a young man. He had occasion to go to the city in connec- 
 tion with recruiting and other matters, and had some dealings 
 with the judicial authorities ; now do you know, he greased 
 
 * Sudcruhiya, miss or madam,
 
 AN ANCIENT RELIC OF 1812. 229 
 
 theu' hands " (Tchitchikoff here screwed up one eye, and 
 indicated by his countenance how one " greases " the hands of 
 public officials). " Well, they entertained him on one occasion, 
 and while he was dining with them, he says, ' Gentlemen, you 
 must come and visit me one of these days on the prince's 
 estate.' They reply, 'We will.' It chanced, your excellency, 
 that a short time afterwards the judges had to make some in- 
 vestigations concerning an affair which had occurred on the 
 estate of Count Trekhmetiefi', whom your excellency is no doubt 
 
 pleased to " 
 
 " No, I do not know him." 
 
 " Well, they did not make the investigation, but they turned 
 their telyega into the farm-yard, went to the house-steward's 
 apartments, and played cards for three days and nights without 
 stopping to draw breath. The samover and the punch, your 
 excellency, never left the table. They fairly stuck in the 
 throat of the count's steward, so to speak." (Here Tchitchi- 
 kofi' pointed at his own throat.) " In order to get rid of them, 
 he says, * You should go to see the prince's overseer, gentlemen, 
 the German; he is not far ofl', and he is expecting you.' — 
 'Ah, surely! ' say they, ' he invited us.' So all of them, all 
 sleepy and unshaven as they were, with dirty hands and faces, — ■ 
 got into their telyega, and drove off to the German's. But the 
 German, your excellency, had just been married. He had 
 married a schoolgirl, a pretty and subtle young woman." 
 (Tchitchikoff here expressed her subtlety in his countenance.) 
 " Being, so to speak, in the midst of their honeymoon, they 
 were sitting over their tea like two dear little angels, when all of 
 a sudden the door opened, and the assemblage burst in upon 
 them." 
 
 " I can imagine it ; very good," said the general, laughing. 
 "This so surprised the German, your excellency, that he 
 quite lost his head. He steps up to the officials, and says, 
 ' What do you want, you dirty louts ? ' — ' Well, you're a pretty 
 fellow ! ' they reply : ' a different turn of matters demands a 
 different turn of speech. We've come on business,' they add. 
 * How much brandy is distilled on this estate ? Show your 
 books ! ' He stammered this and that. 'Ei, off with him ! ' 
 they shouted, and then they seized him, bound him, carried him 
 to town, and there he remained in prison for a year and a half." 
 "Well, I declare ! " said the general. 
 Ulinka clasped her hands. 
 
 " His wife, your excellency, began to make a fuss. But 
 what can a woman do when she is young, and hasn't been tried
 
 230 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 in the furnace of experience, so to speak ? Fortunately, there 
 were some kind people on hand who advised her to go to see 
 the justice of the peace. The German recovered his freedom, 
 your excellency, on condition that he spent two thousand 
 roubles on a complimentary banquet. And after the dinner, 
 when they all were pretty thoroughly drunk, they said to him, 
 ' Here, you see ! You scorned us ! You wanted to see us all 
 properly shaved and washed. No, yoii must love tis xvhile ive 
 are dirty, for everyone will like us ivhen we are clean.' " 
 
 The general burst into a roar of laughter, but a pained expres- 
 sion appeared on the girl's noble face. 
 
 "Ah, papa ! I do not understand how you can laugh," said 
 she. "These dishonourable deeds cause me sorrow and no- 
 thing else. When I see deception openly practised in the sight 
 of all, when I see that the perpetrators are not punished by 
 universal scorn, I do not know what takes place within me, but 
 I become angry, and I think and think — " And here she 
 suddenly burst into tears. 
 
 "Only please don't be angry with us," said the general; 
 " we are not to blame in this matter, eh ? " he went on, turning 
 to Tchitchikoflf, "Kiss me, my dear, and go to your room. I 
 am about to dress for dinner. I hope," he added, looking 
 Tchitchikoff in the face, " that you will stay to dine with 
 me." 
 
 " If your excellency will only " — 
 
 " Stay without ceremony. I have plenty to offer you, thank 
 God. There is some cabbage-soup." 
 
 With a deprecatory motion of the hands Tchitchikoff bent 
 his head with respect and gratitude, so that all the objects in 
 the room were hidden from his view for a moment, merely the 
 tips of his boots remaining visible to him. When he raised his 
 head once more, after remaining in this reverent attitude for a 
 ew moments, Ulinka was no longer visible. She had vanished. 
 In her stead there stood before him a gigantic valet, with thick 
 moustaches and whiskers, who was holding a silver washbasin 
 and a towel in his hands. 
 
 " You will permit me to dress in your presence ?" asked the 
 general. 
 
 " Not only to dress in my presence, but to do anything which 
 your excellency sees fit." 
 
 Pulling off his dressing-gown with one hand, and pulling up 
 the sleeves of his shirt, the general began his ablutions, splash- 
 ing and snorting like a duck. The soapy water flew about in 
 all directions.
 
 AN ANCIENT RELIC OF 1812. 231 
 
 " How does it go '? " said he, as he wiped his neck on all 
 sides. " ' You must love us while we are clean ' " — 
 
 " Dirty, your excellency." 
 
 " Yes, ' while we are dirty, for everyone will love us when we 
 are clean.' Very, very good ! They love, they love, they 
 actually love encouragement. Stroke, stroke them ! Without 
 encouragement, they won't steal, eh? Ha, ha, ha ! " 
 
 Tchitchikoft* was in indescribable spirits, and a fresh inspira- 
 tion suddenly came to him. " The general is a jolly fellow, and 
 a good-natured one. I'll try my dodge," thought he ; and then 
 perceiving that the valet had retired with the washbasin, he ex- 
 claimed, " Your excellency, since you are so kind and attentive 
 to everyone, I have a great favour to ask of you." 
 
 " What is it ? " 
 
 "I have an aged, invalid uncle, your excellency," said Tchi- 
 tchikoff, glancing about him. " He has three hundred souls, 
 and no heir except myself. He is not able to manage his 
 estate himself, on account of his infirmities ; and he will not 
 allow me to manage it either. And he alleges a queer reason 
 for this. ' I do not know my nephew,' says he. ' Perhaps he 
 is a spendthrift. Let him prove to me that he is a trustworthy 
 man : let him acquire three hundred souls for himself, and then 
 I will give him my three hundred.' " 
 
 " Why, what does he mean ? He's certainly a perfect fool," 
 said the general. 
 
 "If he were only a fool, one might get along. But think of 
 my position, your excellency. The old man has taken a house- 
 keeper, and she has some children of her own. Before I know 
 it, they will get hold of everything." 
 
 " The old fellow must have lost his senses," said the general. 
 "Only I do not see how I can help you," he added, looking at 
 Tchitchikofi" in surprise. 
 
 "Well, this is what I have thought of. If your excellency 
 would make over to me all the dead souls in your village, just 
 as though they were alive, with a regular bill of sale, then I 
 could show the bill of sale to the old man, and he would leave 
 me his fortune." 
 
 Here the general burst into such a laugh as man can never 
 have given vent to before. He flung himself into an arm-chair, 
 threw his head back, and almost choked. The whole house was 
 alarmed. The valet hurried in, and then came the daughter in 
 affright. 
 
 "Father, what has happened to you?" she asked, in terror 
 and amazement.
 
 232 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 But it was a long while before the general uttered a sound. 
 " It's nothing, my dear. Go to your own room. We will come 
 to dinner directly. Be at ease. Ha, ha, ha ! " 
 * Then, after giving vent to several fresh sighs, the general's 
 laughter burst forth with fresh violence, and re-echoed from the 
 vestibule to the most remote room in the house, 
 
 Tchitchikoff felt disturbed. 
 
 " Uncle, uncle ! how finely fooled you will be ! " said the 
 general. "Ha, ha, ha ! To receive dead souls instead of live 
 ones ! Ha, ha, ha ! " 
 
 " Dear me, how ticklish his nerves are ! " thought Tchitchi- 
 koff to himself. 
 
 "Ha, ha, ha !" went on the general. " What an ass ! The 
 idea of demanding such a thing ! Let him make three hundred 
 souls out of nothing in my presence, and then I'll give him three 
 hundred souls of mine ! He's an ass, of course ! " 
 
 " Yes, your excellency, he's an ass." 
 
 " Well, that's a good trick of yours, to treat the old fellow 
 to dead souls. Ha, ha, ha ! I'd give, God knows what, to see 
 him when you present that bill of sale to him. But what is 
 he ? What's he like ? Is he very old ? " 
 
 "Eighty years." 
 
 "But he moves about? He's alert? He must be pretty 
 strong if that housekeeper lives with him." 
 
 " Strong, indeed ! He's wasting away, grain by grain, your 
 excellency." 
 
 " What a fool ! Surely he is a fool ! " 
 
 " He is, your excellency." 
 
 " But he goes out in society ? Does he look alert ? Can he 
 support himself on his legs ? " 
 
 " He can stand, but with difficulty." 
 
 " What a fool ! But he is strong ? Has he still his teeth ? " 
 
 " Only two, your excellency." 
 
 " What an ass ! Don't get angry, my friend. He's an ass, 
 even if he is your uncle." 
 
 " He is an ass, your excellency, though he is my rela- 
 tive, and it is hard to acknowledge it. Still, what is to be 
 done?" 
 
 TchitchikoiF lied : it was not hard to acknowledge, for the 
 probabilities are that he had never had an uncle whatsoever. 
 
 " As matters stand," he added, *' if your excellency will be 
 so kind as to grant me — " 
 
 " The dead souls ? Oh ! for such a trick I'd give them to you 
 with land and houses too. Take the whole cemetery ! Ha,
 
 TWO VERY ECCE>'TRIC PERSONS. 233 
 
 ha, ha, ha ! That old man ! that old man ! Ha, ha, ha, ha ! 
 
 How j'our uncle will be fooled ! Ha, ha, ha, ha ! " 
 
 And again the general's roars of laughter rang through the 
 apartments.* 
 
 CHAPTEE XIV. 
 
 WHICH DESCRIBES TWO YEEY ECCENTEIC PERSONS. 
 
 " If Colonel Koshkareff reall)'' is a monomaniac, it would not 
 be a bad thing to try my little dodge on him," said Tchitchikoff, 
 on finding himself once more amid the open fields and the vast 
 expanse, when everything had disappeared, and all that re- 
 mained was the vault of heaven above and two clouds on one 
 side. 
 
 " Selifon, did you make thorough inquiries as to the road to 
 Cefeffel Kdslik:arefi''s ? " he asked. 
 
 " If you will please to consider, Pavel Ivanovitch, I had no 
 time to do so, for I was working at the calash ; but Petrushka 
 inquired of the coachman." 
 
 " What a fool ! You have been told that no reliance is to be 
 placed in Petrushka. Petrushka is a blockhead, Petrushka is 
 a stupid, and Petrushka is certainly drunk now, to boot." 
 
 " There's surely no such difliculty about it," said Petrushka, 
 turning half round, and looking out of the corner of his eye. 
 " There's nothing more to do than to take to the fields after 
 descending the hill." 
 
 " And you have taken nothing in your mouth excepting com- 
 mon brandy '? Good, very good ! One may say, he marvelled 
 at the beauty of Europe." After this remark, Tchitchikoft' 
 stroked his chin, and asked himself, " What a difference there 
 
 * The author appears to have left this portion of his story unfinished. 
 From some rough notes which were found, however, after his death, it 
 would seem that he here intended to describe how Tentyotnikoff wiis 
 reconciled to his friend the general, to whom he soon paid a ceremonious 
 visit at Tchitchikott's suggestion. They had a conversation together 
 respecting the generals of 1812, and eventually Tentyotnikoff asked for 
 Ulinka's hand. Her father finally consented to a betrothal, and then 
 determined to entrust our friend, Tchitchikoff with the task of communi- 
 cating this important news to the various members of the family. When 
 the story is resumed in chapter xiv., the hero is seen on his way to the 
 residence of one of the relatives, a certain Colonel Koshkareff, who ig 
 suffering from a peculiar form of monomania.
 
 234 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 is, after all, between the physiognomy of a cultivated nobleman 
 and that of a coarse lackey." 
 
 Meanwhile, the calash had begun to go down-hill. The fields, 
 and the wide expanse dotted with maple-groves, opened out 
 again. The comfortable equipage, rocking gently on its elastic 
 springs, continued to descend the declivity, and at length, 
 traversing the fields, it passed by a mill ; then, over a bridge, 
 with a light rumble ; and finally with a little bound, over 
 the soft, yielding surface of the lowlands. And not even a 
 mound or a hillock was to be seen on either hand. Silence 
 prevailed, not even a calash was in view. 
 
 The clumps of vines, the slender alders, and silvery poplars 
 flew by, brushing Selifan and Petrushka, on the box, with 
 their branches. They swept the latter's cap ofi" every moment. 
 The surly servitor leapt from the box, cursed the stupid trees, 
 and his master who had perched him up there, but he would 
 neither fasten his cap nor even hold on to it with his hand, 
 hoping that each time would be the last, and that the mishap 
 would not occur again. Maples, birches, and pines were soon 
 added to the list of trees. The forest grew darker, and seemed 
 to be preparing to turn to the blackness of night. But all at 
 once, from every quarter, gleams of light shone between the 
 branches and tree-boles, like flashes from a mirror. The trees 
 became more sparsely scattered, the gleams of light grew larger, 
 and then, all at once, a lake lay before them — a watery expanse 
 four versts in diameter. 
 
 High above the lake, on the opposite shore, lay scattered the 
 gray timber cabins of a village. Shouts rang from the water. 
 Twenty men, standing up to their waists, their shoulders, and 
 their necks in the lake, were dragging a net to the opposite 
 shore. An accident had happened. Along "vvith the fish a man 
 had become entangled — a man who, in height as in girth, was 
 the exact counterpart of a water-melon, or a small cask. He 
 was in a desperate condition, and was yelling at the top of his 
 lungs, " Blockhead Denis, give it over to Kuzma ! Kuzma, 
 take the end from Denis ! Don't bear on so. Big Foma ! Go 
 yonder, where little Foma is. You devils ! you'll break the net, 
 I tell you ! " 
 
 This water-melon evidently had no fears for himself: he 
 could not drown, owing to his corpulence ; and tumble about as 
 he would, with the object of diving, the water kept bringing 
 him to the surface ; even if two men had seated themselves on 
 his back, he would have remained on the surface of the water 
 with them like an obstinate bladder, merely grunting a little
 
 TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 235 
 
 beneath their weight, and emitting bubbles through his nose. 
 But he was very much afraid that his net would break and the 
 fish he had caught escape him ; and, therefore, several men, 
 stationed on the bank with ropes, were dragging him in as well 
 as the fish. 
 
 " This must be a gentleman ; this must be Colonel Kosh- 
 karefi'," said Selifan. 
 
 " Why ? " asked our hero. 
 
 "Because his body, as you will be pleased to observe, is 
 whiter than other people's, and he is respectably corpulent, like 
 a gentleman." 
 
 Meanwhile, the gentleman who was entangled in the net had 
 been dragged considerably nearer to the shore. On feeling that 
 he could touch the bottom with his feet, he did so, and at the 
 same time he became aware of the calash descending to the dam, 
 and of Tchitchikofi" seated in it. 
 
 " Have you dined ? " shouted the gentleman, stepping on to 
 the bank, with the captured fish enveloped in the net, like a 
 lady's hand incased in a transparent glove in summer-time. 
 Then, as he held one hand before his eyes like a visor, to shield 
 them from the sun, and let the other one hang down — looking 
 for all the world like the Venus de Medici emerging from the 
 bath — he repeated his question in a loud voice. 
 
 " No, I haven't dined," answered Tchitchikofi", raising his cap, 
 and continuing to bow from the calash. 
 
 " Well, thank God for that ! " 
 
 " Why ? " inquired Tchitchikofi", with curiosity, holding his 
 cap above his head. 
 
 " Because ! — fling that sturgeon also into the washtub, Little 
 Foma! Go and help him, Kuzma." Two of the fishermen 
 now lifted the head of some monster out of the tub. " See 
 what a prince ! he came in from the river ! " added the stout 
 gentleman. " Go to the manor-house. Coachman, take the 
 road below, through the vegetable garden. Run, you stupid 
 Big Foma, knock down the palings. He will guide you, and 
 ril be there directly." 
 
 Long-legged, barefooted Big Foma ran, just as he was, in his 
 shirt alone, through the whole village, where drag-nets, fishing- 
 baskets, and similar things hung over every cabin, for all the 
 peasants were fishermen ; then he took down the palings 
 of some vegetable garden, and through this garden the calash 
 entered a square close to a wooden church. Farther on, 
 behind the church, the roofs of the manorial buildings were 
 visible.
 
 236 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " This Koshkareff is rather eccentric," said Tchitchikoff to 
 himself. 
 
 "Here I am!" cried a voice on one side, whereupon our 
 hero glanced round. The gentleman had already arrived beside 
 him, clad in a grass-green nankeen surtout and yellow breeches ; 
 but his neck was devoid of a neckcloth, after the manner of 
 Cupid's. He was seated sideways in a drozhky, the whole of 
 which he took up by himself. Tchitchikoff tried to say some- 
 thing to him, but, behold, he had already disappeared. The 
 drozhky again made its appearance at the spot where the fish 
 had been drawn out, and again the fat man s voice rang out, 
 " Big Foma and Little Foma ! Kuzma and Denis ! " 
 
 When Tchitchikoff arrived at the porch of the house, he was 
 amazed to find the fat gentleman already there to receive him in 
 his embrace. How he had managed to fly there was incompre- 
 hensible. They kissed each other, however, making a triple 
 cross, after the ancient Eussian custom. The gentleman be- 
 longed to the old school. 
 
 " I have brought you a greeting from his excellency," began 
 Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " From what excellency ? " 
 
 " From your relative. General Alexander Dmitrievitch." 
 
 '• AVho is this Alexander Dmitrievitch ? " 
 
 " General Betrishtcheff," replied Tchitchiko'ff in some surprise. 
 
 " Don't know him." 
 
 Tchitchikoff was still more amazed. 
 
 " How is this ? I hope, at least, that I have the pleasure of 
 addressing Colonel Koshkareff? " 
 
 " No, don't hope it. Thank God that you have come not to 
 him but to me, Piotr Petrovitch Pyetukh, Pyetukh Piotr Petro- 
 vitch," repeated the host. 
 
 Tchitchikoff was petrified. " How's this ? " said he, turning 
 to Selifan and Petrushka, both of whom dropped their jaws and 
 stared with all theu' eyes, as one sat on the box and the other 
 stood at the door of the calash. "How's this, you fools? 
 You were told to go to Colonel Koshkareff 's, and this is Piotr 
 Petrovitch Pyetukh's ? " 
 
 "You have behaved capitally, my children! Go to the 
 kitchen : they will give each of you a measure of vodka there," 
 said Piotr Petrovitch Pyetukh. " Unharness the horses, and go 
 to the servants' quarters this instant ! " 
 
 "I am meditating what I ought to do: such an unforeseen 
 Hiistake," said Tchitchikoff. 
 
 "It's no mistake. First see what sort of a dinner we have,
 
 TWO VERY ECCENTRIC fERSOKS. 237 
 
 atid then say whether it is a mistake. I most humbly beg of you 
 to enter," added Pyetukh, taking Tchitchikoff by the arm, and 
 leading him into the house. From the rooms there emerged to 
 meet them two young fellows dressed in summer surtouts, and 
 as slender as willow wands : they exceeded their father in height 
 by a full arshin. 
 
 " My sons, students at the gymnasium, who have come home 
 for the holidays. You can remain with our guest, Nikolasha ; 
 and you, Alexasha, come with me." So saying, the host dis- 
 appeared. 
 
 Tchitchikoff devoted his attention to Nikolasha. The latter, 
 it appeared, bade fair to be a good-for-nothing in the future. 
 He told Tchitchikoff, the very tirst thing, that there was no 
 advantage to be derived from studying at the provincial gym- 
 nasium ; that he and his brother wanted to go to Petersburg, 
 because the provinces were not fit to live in. 
 
 " I understand," thought Tchitchikoff: " the matter will end 
 with the confectioners' shops and the boulevards. But how 
 are matters '? " he asked aloud : "in what condition is your 
 papa's property ? " 
 
 *' Mortgaged," replied the papa himself, who was again in the 
 drawing-room. " Mortgaged." 
 
 " That's bad," thought Tchitchikoff. " At this rate there 
 will soon be no <?state at all. I must make haste — but that 
 was surely unnecessary," he said, with an air of regret. "You 
 have been over-hasty in mortgaging it." 
 
 " No, not at all," said Pyetukh. " People say that it is profit- 
 able. Everybody mortgages his property now : how can one help 
 following the example of others '? Besides, I have always lived 
 here : I am going to try to live in Moscow. Here are my 
 sons persuading me to do so ; they long for the culture of the 
 capital." 
 
 "What a fool this man is," thought Tchitchikoff": "he is 
 squandering everything, and making spendthrifts of his sons. 
 It's a snug little property. "When you come to look at it, the 
 peasants are well oft", and he's not badly situated either. But 
 when they become cultured yonder, in the restaurants and 
 theatres, everything will go to the devil. This fisherman ought 
 to live on his own property in the country." 
 
 "I am sure that I know what you are thinking of," said 
 Pyetukh. 
 
 " What? " inquired Tchitchikoff, in some confusion. 
 
 " You are thinking, ' Fool, fool that this Pyetukh is ! he has 
 invited me to dinner, and as yet there's no dinner provided.
 
 238 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 Well, it will soon be ready, most respected sir. It will be ready 
 before a girl with a shaved head has time to braid her hair." 
 
 " Daddy, here's Platon Mikhailovitch coming," said Alexasha, 
 looking out of the window. 
 
 ** Mounted on his brown horse," added Nikolasha, leaning 
 over the sill. 
 
 " Where, where ?" cried Pyetukh, approaching the window. 
 
 "Who is this Platon Mikhailovitch ?" inquired Tchitchikoff 
 of Alexasha. 
 
 " Our neighbour, Platon Mikhailovitch Platonoff, a very hand- 
 some man," answered Alexasha 
 
 In the meantime, Platonoff himself had entered the room : 
 he was a handsome fellow, with a fine figure and glossy light 
 hair, which curled naturally. A heavy-jawed terror of a dog, by 
 the name of Yarb,, followed him, rattling his brass collar. 
 
 " Have you dined ? " inquired the host. 
 
 "Yes." 
 
 "What have you come for then — to laugh at me? What 
 can I do with you when you have dined ? " 
 
 The visitor laughed, and replied, "I will console you by ad- 
 mitting that I ate nothing at dinner : I had no appetite at all." 
 
 " And we have had such a catch ! If you could only have seen 
 it ! Such sturgeons ! Such carp and karasishtcJd /" '■'■ 
 
 " It's vexatious enough to hear you tell me about it. Why 
 are you always so cheerful ? " 
 
 "And why should one be bored, if you please ? " asked the 
 master of the house. 
 
 " Why be bored ? Because things are tiresome." 
 
 " You eat too little ; that's all. Try to make a good dinner. 
 It's only lately that boredom was invented. Nobody used to get 
 bored in former times." 
 
 " Well, enough of your boasting ! Just as if you were never 
 bored ! " 
 
 " I never am. And upon my word there's no time to be bored. 
 One wakes up in the morning, and there's the cook on the spot, 
 and dinner must be ordered : then comes tea, and then the over- 
 seer, and then the fishing, and then dinner. After dinner, and 
 before one has a chance to snore, there's the cook again, and 
 supper must be ordered. How has one any time to feel bored ? " 
 
 During the whole of this conversation, Tchitchikofi" had been 
 observing the new-comer, who had amazed him by his remark- 
 ably good looks, his slender, picturesque figure, the freshness, 
 
 * A fish reBembling carp. ]
 
 TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSOlsrs. 239 
 
 indeed, the feminine clearness of his complexion, which was not 
 defaced by a single blemish. Neither passion nor grief, nor 
 anything in the nature of emotion, had dared to lay a finger on 
 his face, which was as pure as a young girl's, nor to imprint 
 even a wrinkle upon it, although that might have given it a look 
 of life, for it was a rather sleepy face in spite of the ironical 
 smile which lighted it up at times. 
 
 " And I, permit me to remark," said Tchitchikofi', "am unable 
 to understand how a man can mope when he has such a per- 
 sonal appearance as yours. Of course, if he lacks money, or 
 has enemies — and there are people who are always ready to 
 make attempts even on the life of a man." 
 
 "Believe me," interrupted the handsome man, "I should 
 sometimes like a little anxiety, for the sake of variety. If some 
 one would only put me in a passion ! But there's no one to do 
 so. It's a bore, and that's all there is about it." 
 
 " Then, you have not a sufficient amount of land in your 
 estate, or the number of your serfs is small ? " 
 
 " Not in the least. My brother and I have ten thousand 
 desijatins'-'- of land between us, and over a thousand men peasants 
 on them." 
 
 " Strange ! I cannot understand it ! But perhaps you have 
 had some bad harvests, or epidemics, or some of your male serfs 
 have died ? " 
 
 " On the contrary, everything is in the best of order, and my 
 brother is a capital manager." 
 
 "And to mope with all that! I don't understand it," said 
 Tchitchikofl', shrugging his shoulders. 
 
 "We'll drive away his moping mood immediately," said the 
 host. " Run, Alexasha, quick, to the kitchen, and tell the cook 
 to send us some fish-patties as speedUy as possible. And where's 
 that jackanapes Yemelyan, and that thief Antoshka ? Why don't 
 they serve the zakuska / " f 
 
 But at this moment the door opened. The jackanapes Ye- 
 melyan and the thief Antoshka made their appearance with nap- 
 'EinfT'spread the table, and set on it a tray with six decanters, 
 containing liquors of various colours. A necklace of plates, with 
 all sorts of viands fit to arouse the appetite, soon surrounded 
 the tray and decanters. The servants flitted hastily hither and 
 thither, incessantly fetching something in covered dishes, inside 
 of which butter could be heard bubbling. The jackanapes Ye- 
 melyan and the thief Antoshka arranged things in excellent 
 
 * Twenty-seven thousand acres, 
 t Appetizers.
 
 240 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 style. Their nicknames had merely been bestowed on them by 
 way of encouragement. Their master was not at all fond of 
 scolding, being a good-natured fellow ; but the Eussian man 
 cannot get along without a spicy word now and then. It is as 
 necessary to him as a glass of vodka is to his stomach, to aid 
 digestion. How can it be helped ? Such is his nature : be 
 likes nothing that is sweet. 
 
 The zakuska was followed by the dinner. Now the kind- 
 hearted host became a thorough brigand. No sooner did he spy 
 a bit of food on anyone's fork than he immediately added 
 another, saying, " Without a mate, neither man nor bird can 
 live in this world." If anyone had two morsels, he heaped a 
 third on to the top of them, declaring, " What sort of a number 
 is two ? God loves a trinity." If his guest had three, he said, 
 "Where was there ever a telyega seen with three wheels? Who 
 builds a cabin with three corners ? " As regards the fourth bit 
 he was prepared with a proverb also, and likewise as regards 
 the fifth. Tchitchikoff devoured nearly a dozen slices, and 
 thought, "Well, the host won't pile up anything more." But 
 in vain : without saying a word, his host laid on his plate some 
 ribs of veal, with kidneys, from a most gigantic calf. 
 
 " I fed the animal for two years on milk," said the host : " I 
 cared for him as though he had been my own son ! " 
 
 "I cannot eat it," said Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " Try, and say I cannot afterwards." 
 
 " It won't go down. I have no room left." 
 
 " Well, there was no room in the church, as the story goes ; 
 but the chief of police arrived — and a place was found for him. 
 There was such a throng that there was not room for an apple 
 to fall. Only try : this morsel is the chief of police." 
 
 Tchitchikoff did try, and the morsel actually was something 
 in the nature of a chief of police. A place was found for it, but 
 it seemed as though nothing more could be put in. 
 
 " Now, how is such a man to go to Petersburg or Moscow ! 
 In three years, with such hospitality as this, he would utterly 
 ruin himself," thought Tchitchikoff. Of course he was not aware 
 that this had already been thoroughly accomplished, and that, 
 even without being hospitable, a man may get rid of everything, 
 not in three years, but even in three months. 
 
 It was the same with the wines. On receiving his money from 
 the mortgage-bank, Piotr Petrovitch had provided himself with 
 a store of wines for ten years to come. Consequently, he poured 
 and poured. What the guests did not drink, he gave to Alexasha 
 and Nikolasha, who clinked their glasses together like the rest.
 
 TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 241 
 
 It was plain in advance to what branch of human learning they 
 would direct their attention upon their arrival in the capital. The 
 guests could hardly move. With great difficulty they dragged 
 themselves on to the balcony, and with greater difficulty disposed 
 themselves in some arm-chairs. The host had no sooner seated 
 himself in his, of a special square shape, than he fell asleep. 
 His corpulent person becoming converted into a blacksmith's 
 bellows, as it were, began, through his open mouth and nostrils, 
 to emit such sounds as even a realistic writer could not describe. 
 It was like a drum and a fife at play, combined with yet another 
 sound resembling the bark of a dog. 
 
 " Eh, how he whistles ! " said Platonoflf. 
 
 Tchitchikolf began to laugh. 
 
 " Of course, if you dine like that, there's no chance of getting 
 bored. Sleep follows, does it not ? " 
 
 " Yes. But, nevertheless, I — you must excuse me — I cannot 
 understand how it is possible for you to be bored. There are 
 so many means to prevent oneself being bored." 
 
 "What are they?" 
 
 "Are there not plenty for a young man ? Dancing, playing 
 on some instrument, not to mention getting married." 
 
 "To whom?" 
 
 " Are there no rich, pretty girls in the neighbourhood, then ?" 
 
 " Well, no." 
 
 " Well, then you can look elsewhere : you can travel." And 
 a brilliant idea flashed through Tchitchikoff's brain. "Yes, 
 that's a capital suggestion! " he said, looking Platonoff full in 
 the eye. 
 
 "What?" 
 
 "Travelling." 
 
 " Where is one to go ? " 
 
 " Why, if you are at liberty, come with me," said Tchitchikoff ; 
 and he thought, as he gazed at Platonofl", " That would be a tine 
 thing. Then we might share the expenses, and the whole cost 
 of repairing the trap might be carried to his account." 
 
 " But were are you going ?" 
 
 " Just at present I am not travelling on my own aflfairs so 
 much as on those of someone else. General BetrishtchefF, an 
 intimate friend, and, I may say, a benefactor, has requested me 
 to inform his relatives — in short, it's a family matter ; but it is 
 my own afiair too, so to speak ; and, say what you will, to see 
 the world, to observe the manners of its people, is like a living 
 book, a second education." While he spoke thus, Tchitchikoff 
 was thinking to himself, " It really would be capital ! I might 
 
 Q
 
 242 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 charge all the expenses to him, and even travel with his horses, 
 while mine are being fed in his village." 
 
 " Why shouldn't I travel ? " Platonoff was thinking on his 
 side in the meanwhile, " I have nothing to do at home ; and 
 the management of my affairs is in my brother's hands, so there 
 would be no dissipation about it. Why not travel, in fact ? Will 
 you consent," he asked aloud, "to pass two days with my 
 brother ? Otherwise, he would not let me go." 
 
 " With the greatest pleasure ; three even." 
 
 " Come, shake hands on it. We'll go," said Platonoff, brighten- 
 ing up. 
 
 He clapped his hands. " Let's be off! " he added. 
 
 " Where ? where ? " cried the host, waking up and staring at 
 them. " No, my dear fellows. I have ordered a wheel to be 
 removed from the calash ; and your horse, Platon Mikhail ovitch, 
 has been driven fifteen versts away. No : you are going to pass 
 the night here ; and to-morrow, after an early dinner, you may 
 go your way." 
 
 What was to be done with Pyetukh ? They were forced to 
 remain, and were rewarded with a beautiful spring evening. 
 The host arranged a trip on the river. Twelve rowers and 
 twenty-four oars, accompanied by songs, bore them over the sur- 
 face of the mirror-like lake. From the lake they entered the 
 river, which was immeasurably broad, with sloping banks on 
 either side ; and they passed, ever and anon, beneath ropes 
 stretched from shore to shore, to assist in the fisheries. The 
 waters were barely disturbed by the current ; the changing 
 views, as they succeeded one another, presented themselves in 
 silence to the eyesight; and grove after grove refreshed one 
 with an ever-varying commingling of trees. 
 
 The rowers, grasping their twenty-four oars simultaneously, 
 suddenly elevated them in the air, and the boat floated along 
 over the motionless, glassy surface, as lightly as a bird. The 
 leader of the singers, a broad-shouldered youth, who sat third 
 from the rudder, struck up the opening lines of a song in a clear, 
 ringing voice, which seemed to issue from the throat of a 
 nightingale. Five more caught up the refrain ; the other six 
 carried it on, and it poured forth in a melody as boundless as 
 Russia herself. Even Pyetukh roused up, and began to hum, 
 supporting the singers whenever the chorus lacked strength ; 
 and even Tchitchikoff felt sensible that he was a Russian. Pla- 
 tonoff alone thought, " What is there fine about that melancholy 
 tune ? It only makes one's soul still more depressed." 
 
 The shades of night had already fallen when they returned.
 
 TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 243 
 
 The oars beat upon the water, which no longer reflected the 
 heavens. In darkness they landed on the shore, where fires had 
 been lighted, and here, on tripods, some fish-soup, made of 
 freshly caught quivering chubs, was cooking. The village cattle 
 and poultry had long since been driven home ; the dust they had 
 raised had settled again, and the herdsmen who had driven 
 them stood at the gates waiting for their usual pot of milk and 
 an invitation to partake of some of the fish-soup. Amid the 
 darkness the subdued hum of men's voices and the yelping of 
 dogs, resounding from some distant village, were audible. The 
 moon rose, bent upon lighting up the darkened landscape, and 
 finally everything was illuminated. Wondrous was the picture ! 
 But there was no one to admire it. Nikolasha and Alexasha 
 were dreaming of Moscow, of the restaurants and the theatres, 
 about which a cadet who came from the capital had told them ; 
 their father was meditating how he might feed his guests ; Pla- 
 tonoff" was yawning. Tchitchikoff" seemed to be the most ani- 
 mated of them all. 
 
 " Truly," thought he, " I will set up a little hamlet of my 
 own someday. How can a man live anywhere except in the 
 country ? " And visions of a pretty wife and some small Tchit- 
 chikofi's began to present themselves to his fancy. 
 
 And at supper they again over-fed themselves. "When Pavel 
 Ivanovitch entered the apartment which had been prepared for 
 him, and, throwing himself on the bed, felt his stomach, he said, 
 " It's full, choke-full ! No chief of police living could get into 
 it! " As it happened, the study of the master of the house 
 must needs be situated on the other side of the wall of our hero's 
 room. The partition was thin, and every word which was spoken 
 in the study was audible to Tchitchikoft", who now heard his host 
 giving orders to the cook for an early breakfast on the morrow ; 
 and what orders they were ! They would have given a corpse an 
 appetite. First came a roar, " Now, roast it brown, and see that 
 it is well basted ! " And then the cook responded in a shrill 
 falsetto, " I obey, sir ! It shall be done, sir ! " 
 
 "And you are to make a four-cornered fish-pasty," resumed 
 the master, drawing in his breath with a sucking noise. "In 
 one corner you must put the cheeks and the cartilage of the 
 sturgeon, in another some buckwheat stufiing with onions and 
 mushrooms, some garlic, sweet milk, brains, cocks' crests and 
 crawfish, and — you know ; arrange it so that it may be appe- 
 tising." 
 
 " Yes, sir. I will do as you tell me." 
 
 *' And let it be browned on one side, and lighter on the other.
 
 244 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 And bake it so that the crust may be all soaked with the con- 
 tents, so that it may be — you know how, not crumbly, but likely 
 to melt in your mouth." Thereupon Pyetukh smacked his lips, 
 and wiped them. 
 
 " The deuce take it ! He won't let me go to sleep," thought 
 Tchitchikoff, as he wrapped the coverlet round his head, in order 
 not to hear. However, through the coverlet now came the 
 words — 
 
 " And round the sturgeon place some little stars of beetroot 
 and mushrooms — you know, with horseradish and turnips, car- 
 rots and beans, and some of that — what do you call it ? — so that 
 there may be as much garnishing as possible. And then let us 
 have a pig's breast, well stuffed and with some nice crackling, 
 and the sauce served apart. 
 
 And many other dishes besides did Pyetukh order, continually 
 repeating, " And brown it, and roast it crisp, and see that it is 
 well basted ! " Tchitchikoli' at last fell asleep while his host was 
 giving some orders about a turkey. 
 
 The next day the guests overfed themselves to such an extent 
 that Platonofi' could not ride. His stallion was sent back in 
 charge of one of Pyetukh's grooms, and then he and Tchitchi- 
 koff seated themselves in the calash, whilst the thick-nosed dog, 
 Yarb, followed them languidly. He, too, had overfed himself. 
 
 " This is too much. It does not do to over-feed one's self 
 like this," said Tchitchikoff, when they had left the house be- 
 hind them. 
 
 " And our friend thinks such a life the correct thing : that's 
 the vexatious part of it," said Platonofl'. 
 
 " Well, if I had an income of seventy thousand roubles a year 
 like you," thought Tchitchikoff', " I wouldn't let myself be 
 bored." 
 
 " Would you object to going to a village about ten versts 
 from here ? " inquired Platonofl'. " I should like to take leave of 
 my sister and my brother-in-law." 
 
 " With the greatest pleasure," said Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " If you are fond of learning any particulars about the man- 
 agement of an estate," said Platonoff', " you will take an interest 
 in making my brother-in-law's acquaintance. You cannot find 
 a better manager than he is. In the space of ten years, he has 
 brought his property into such a fine state that he now receives 
 an income of two hundred thousand roubles from it, instead of 
 thirty thousand, as he did at first." 
 
 " Ah, he must evidently be a most estimable man ! It will be
 
 TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 245 
 
 extremely interesting to make his acquaintance. But bow is 
 this ? That is to say, what is his family name ? " 
 
 " Kostanzhoglo." 
 
 " And his baptismal name and patronymic ? " 
 
 " Konstantin Feodorovitch." 
 
 " Konstantin Feodorovitch Kostanzhoglo! Indeed, it will be 
 very interesting to make his acquaintance. It must be instruc- 
 tive to know such a man." 
 
 Platonoff took upon himself to guide Selifan, as was requi- 
 site, for the coachman could hardly hold himself on his box. As 
 for Petrushka, he twice tumbled from the calash like a log, so 
 that it became necessary to bind him to the seat Avith a rope. 
 " What a brute ! " was all that Tchitchikoff said. 
 
 "Look! Kostanhoglo's land begins here," said Platonoft\ 
 " It has quite another aspect." And in fact, all over the fields 
 planted with forest-trees, the young saplings were as even and 
 as straight as arrows ; behind them came another plantation of 
 young trees, but a little taller; behind this rose a wood of older 
 growth, and so on, the trees of each patch being taller than the 
 preceding ones. Then came another strip of land, covered with 
 a heavy growth of grain ; and again, in the same manner, a young 
 growth of forest, succeeded by an older one. As they passed 
 under the arched branches, Platonofi' exclaimed, "All these have 
 grown up in eight or ten years ; with anybody else they would 
 not have grown in twelve." 
 
 " How does he manage it ? " asked our hero. 
 
 " Oh, you must ask him. He's quite learned in all matters 
 connected with the soil. He does nothing in vain. He not only 
 understands the soil, but he knows what locality is required for 
 each thing, and which tree should go with each grain. He makes 
 everything answer three or four purposes at once. If he has a 
 patch of forest, it is because, in addition to the forest as a forest, 
 just so much exti'a moisture must be provided for the fields, with 
 so much fertilising mould from the falling leaves, and so much 
 shade. When there is a drought everywhere else, there is no 
 drought with him : when the crops all round about him fail, they 
 don't fail with him. It's a pity that I know so little about these 
 things, that I cannot explain them fully to you; however, my 
 brother-in-law resorts to such strange devices, he is called a 
 sorcerer. You will see some very curious things on his estate. 
 But it's a bore, all the same." 
 
 " He really must be a remarkable man," thought Tchitchikofi". 
 " It is most lamentable that this young man cannot give me an 
 idea of what he does. I feel very anxious to see him."
 
 246 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 At length the village made its appearance. It resembled a 
 town : a multitude of cahins were scattered about on three 
 hillocks, crowned with churches, and everywhere hemmed in 
 with ricks of hay, and stacks of grain. " Yes," thought 
 Tchitchikoff, " it is evident that a man of importance lives here." 
 
 The cabins were all well built ; the streets were level ; when- 
 ever a telyega appeared, it was stout and quite new ; the 
 moujiks whom one encountered had an intelligent expression ; 
 the horned cattle were of choice kinds ; even the serfs' pigs 
 looked like noblemen. It was evident that here dwelt peasants, 
 who, as the song says, dug with silver spades. Here there 
 were no English parks or lawns, arbours and bridges, with all 
 sorts of devices : but, after the ancient fashion, an avenue lined 
 with granaries and labourers' cottages ran almost up to the very 
 manor-house, so that all that was going on round about might 
 be under the master's eye. To complete the arrangement, a 
 lofty tower of observation, which commanded a view for fifteen 
 versts in every direction, rose upon the roof, not for the sake 
 of ornament, but for the express purpose of overlooking the 
 labourers in the distant fields. Under the porch they were met 
 by some well-trained servants, very different indeed from the 
 drunken Petrushka, and far more prepossessing, although they 
 did not wear swallow-tailed coats, but simple cossack tunics of 
 blue homespun. 
 
 The mistress of the house also ran out to the porch. She 
 was as fresh as blood and milk, as beautiful as God's day, and 
 as like Platonofl' as one drop of water is like another ; with this 
 difference, however, that she was not at all languid, like he was, 
 but merry and talkative. 
 
 " "Welcome, brother ! How glad|I am that you have come ! " 
 she said. " Konstantin is not at home, but he will soon be here." 
 
 "Where is he ? " 
 
 " He has business in the village with some traders," she re- 
 plied, conducting the visitors into the house. 
 
 Tchitchikoff gazed with curiosity at the abode of this re- 
 markable man, who possessed an income of two hundred 
 thousand roubles, and he hoped that the aspect of the place 
 would give him some inkling as to the owner's qualities. But 
 it was impossible to draw any inferences. The rooms were 
 simple, even bare : there were no frescoes, whatnots, or costly 
 porcelain, or even books. In short, everything indicated that 
 the owner did not spend much of his time within four walls ; 
 he plainly preferred being in his fields, and did not scheme in 
 sybaritic fashion, before the fire, and in a comfortable arm-chair
 
 TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 247 
 
 facing the chimney ; his plans indeed entered his brain on the 
 field of action ; and upon being formed within him, were at once 
 put into practice. The only signs of work which Tchitchikoff 
 could perceive in the rooms were connected with housewifery. 
 Upon the tables and chairs there lay some clean linden-wood 
 planks, with the petals of flowers strewed upon them, drying. 
 
 "What rubbish have you spread out here, sister?" asked 
 Platonoff. 
 
 "Rubbish indeed!" exclaimed the hostess. "This is the 
 very best remedy for fever. We cured all the peasants with it 
 last year. And that is for cordials, and that for preserves. 
 You always laugh at my preserves and pickles, but when you 
 taste them, you praise them highly." 
 
 Platonoff approached the piano, and began to turn over the 
 music. " Heavens ! how old-fashioned ! " said he. " Come, 
 now, are not you ashamed of yourself, sister ? " 
 
 " Really, you must forgive me, brother. I have had no time 
 to devote to music for a long while past. I have a little 
 daughter, eight years old, whom I must educate. Must I con- 
 sign her to the hands of a foreign governess simply for the sake 
 of obtaining time to devote myself to music ? No : you must 
 excuse me, brother ; that is something which I shall not do." 
 
 " How tiresome you have grown, sister," said the brother, as 
 he walked to the Avindow. " Ah ! here he is ! He's coming ! 
 he's coming ! " exclaimed Platonoff. 
 
 Tchitchikofl' also hastened to the window. A man of forty, 
 sunburnt and alert, was approaching the porch. He wore a 
 knitted cap and a camel's-hair surtout. Evidently he paid no 
 heed to his attire. Two men of the lower classes were walking 
 beside him, cap in hand, engaged in discussing something with 
 him. One of them was a simple peasant, the other some sort 
 of itinerant wholesale trader and adventurer, wearing a blue 
 sibirka * As they all came to a halt near the porch, their con- 
 versation became audible inside the house. 
 
 "This is what you had better do," said Kostanzhoglo, — 
 " purchase your liberty from your master. I will lend you the 
 money to do so if you like. You can work it out with me after- 
 wards." 
 
 " No : why purchase our freedom ? You take us rather. 
 Everyone learns sense from you. The difficulty now is, that 
 we can't take care of ourselves. The distillers supply such 
 liquors that one glass makes a fellow's stomach ache as though 
 
 * A long coat without any opening behind.
 
 248 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 he had drunk a pailful. Before one succeeds in recovering 
 one's senses, one has squandered everything. There are so 
 many snares set for poor people nowadays. The Evil One, 
 who rules the world — by Heavens ! — has so arranged matters 
 that everything throws a man off the track. People have 
 begun to make tobacco, and all sorts of things. But what is to 
 be done, Konstantin Feodorovitch ? A man is a man in the 
 sight of God: you can't deny that." 
 
 "Listen: the point lies in this. You will not have full 
 freedom, even with me. It is true that you will receive every- 
 thing at the start, including a cow and a horse ; but the point 
 of the matter is, that my demands on the peasant are greater 
 than they are anywhere else. With me, work is the first con- 
 sideration. I do not allow idleness either in myself or in anyone 
 else. I work like an ox, and I make my peasants work. All 
 sorts of rubbish get into a man's head through lack of work. 
 So just you fellows consider this at the war,* and discuss it 
 among yourselves." 
 
 " We have already discussed it, Konstantin Feodorovitch. 
 The elders have already expressed their minds. ' Ah ! ' they 
 say, * every one of Konstantin's peasants is rich. And your 
 priests are so compassionate, whereas ours don't attend to their 
 duties ; indeed no one can be buried properly.' " 
 
 "All the same, go and talk it over." 
 
 " I obey you, Konstantin Feodorovitch." 
 
 "Do me the favour to reduce your price, Konstantin 
 Feodorovitch," now said the itinerant dealer in the blue sibirka, 
 who was walking on the landowner's other side. 
 
 " I have already given you my answer. I am not fond of 
 chaffering. I am not like the other landowners, whom you 
 can beggar because of the pressure of their debts. I know you 
 all, you see. You keep lists of all those who are in debt. 
 What is there to be surprised at in that ? A man who is re- 
 duced to extremities sells you goods at half-price. But what is 
 your money to me ? My things can wait three years if necessary. 
 I have no payments to make to the Advance Bank." 
 
 " That's true, Konstantin Feodorovitch. And it is simply 
 because I wish to have some dealings with you, and not from 
 any motives of greed, that I ask you this. But please accept 
 three thousand roubles as earnest-money." The sharper there- 
 upon pulled a bundle of dirty bank-notes from his bosom, 
 
 * The communal council of village elders.
 
 TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 249 
 
 Kostanzboglo took them with the greatest coolness, and thrust 
 them into the rear pocket of his surtout. 
 
 " Hm ! " thought Tchitchikoff : "just as though the packet 
 were a pocket-handkerchief ! " 
 
 Kostanzhoglo now made his appearance at the door of the 
 drawing-room. Tchitchikofi' was struck by the bronzed hue of 
 his face, the stiflness of his dark hair, which here and there was 
 turning grey prematurely, by the alert expression of his eyes, 
 and by a certain bilious stamp of fiery Southern origin. Kos- 
 tanzhoglo himself did not know whence his forefathers had 
 come. He did not trouble himself about his genealogy, how- 
 ever, deeming it a matter of no importance, superfluous as 
 regards domestic management. He was not of pure Kussian 
 origin, that is certain, as his features proved the contrary ; 
 however, he was thoroughly convinced that he was a Muscovite, 
 and he was acquainted with no other tongue than Eussian. 
 
 Platonofl' introduced Tchitchikoft" to him, and they kissed 
 each other, according to custom. 
 
 "To cure myself of hypochondria, Konstantin, I have hit 
 upon the plan of travelling through the different provinces," 
 said Platonoff ; " and Pavel Ivanovitch here, has proposed that 
 I should accompany him, in order to get rid of my low 
 spirits." 
 
 " Very good," said Kostanzhoglo. " What localities do you 
 propose to visit ? " he added, turning to Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " I must confess," answered Tchitchikoff, inclining his head 
 courteously on one side, and at the same time caressing the arm 
 of his chair, "I must confess that just at present I am travel- 
 ling not so much on my own account as on the business of some- 
 one else. General Betrishtchefl", my intimate friend, and I may 
 say, my benefactor, has asked me to communicate with his 
 relatives. There are several of them to be seen ; but on the 
 other hand, I am also travelling on my own account, so to 
 speak : for, not to mention the advantage which is to be derived 
 from travelling as regards health, I like to view the world, and 
 study the habits of the people. Travel forms a living book, a 
 science in itself, so to speak." 
 
 " Yes, it does not do anyone harm to take a peep at various 
 quarters." 
 
 " That remark is capitally put : yes, as a matter of fact, it 
 does no harm. You see things which you would not have 
 otherwise seen : you meet people whom you would not have 
 met. Conversation with some of them is worth its weight in 
 gold. Here now, for example, a case presents itself. I appeal
 
 250 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 to you, most respected Konstantin Feodorovitch! teach me, 
 instruct me, slake my thirst for knowledge of the truth ! I 
 await your sweet words, as I might await manna ! " 
 
 " But with what object ? In what should I instruct you ? " 
 asked Kostanzhoglo in confusion. " I got my own poor educa- 
 tion at very small cost." 
 
 • "Your wisdom, wisdom, most respected sir, — the wisdom 
 needful to manage a country estate ; the wisdom to extract an 
 assured income from it ; to acquire not imaginary but real 
 property, thus fulfilling all the duties of a citizen, and winning 
 the reverence of one's fellow-countrymen." 
 
 " Well, do you know what ? " said Kostanzhoglo, gazing 
 thoughtfully at our hero. " Eemain a day with me. I will show 
 you all the arrangements, and tell you all about everything. 
 You will see that there is no wisdom about it." 
 
 "Yes, do stay," said Mrs. Kostanzhoglo; and turning to her 
 brother, she added, " Stay, brother : what need is there for you 
 to hurry away ? " 
 
 "It's all the same to me. How shall it be, Pavel Ivano- 
 vitch ? " 
 
 " I accept, with the greatest pleasure. But here is the diffi- 
 culty : I must call upon a relative of Greneral Betrishtcheff'Sj a 
 certain Colonel Koshkareff." 
 
 " Why, he's a lunatic ! " 
 
 " Yes, he is demented. I know that. And of my own accord 
 I would not go to see him, but General Betrishtcheff, my intimate 
 friend and benefactor, so to speak, wants me to do so." 
 
 " In that case, do you know what you had better do ? " said 
 Kostanzhoglo. It's not ten versts to his place. My carriage is 
 standing harnessed. Go and see him immediately. You will 
 be able to get back here in time for tea." 
 
 "An excellent idea!" exclaimed Tchitchikoff, seizing his 
 hat. 
 
 The host's j)roIi/otJia-''- was brought to the door, and in half an 
 hour it had borne him to the colonel's village. The whole 
 place was in disorder : buildings in process of construction and 
 of reconstruction, heaps of refuse, bricks and lumber, encumbered 
 all the streets. The houses looked like courts of justice. On 
 one was the inscription. Depot of Agricultural Implements, in 
 gilt letters ; on another, Chief Ofiice for Accounts ; farther on, 
 Committee of Rural Affairs ; and again. School for the Higher 
 Education of the Peasantry. In short, the deuce only knows 
 what was not there. 
 
 * A variety of drozhky, of circular shape.
 
 TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 251 
 
 Our hero fouud the colonel at a desk in the office for accounts, 
 with a pen between his teeth. Koshkarefi' received him with 
 special aflability. Judging from appearances, he was an ex- 
 tremely amiable and very approachable man ; he began to 
 tell our hero of the great labour it had cost him to bring his 
 estate to its present flourishing condition. He complained 
 bitterly of the difficulty of making the moujik understand that 
 there are such things as luxury, art, and skill ; that up to that 
 time he had not been able to make the women wear corsets, 
 whereas in Germany, where he had spent some time with his 
 regiment in the year '14, even a miller's daughter he 
 knew had been able to play upon the piano. However, 
 in spite of all the opposition of the party of ignorance, he 
 still hoped to attain his object, and so enlighten the peasan- 
 try of his village, that they would be seen reading a book on 
 lightning conductors, or the " Georgics " of Virgil, or making a 
 chemical analysis of the soil, as they followed the plough. 
 
 " Dear me, did anyone ever hear of such a thing ! " thought 
 Tchitchikofl". Why to this day, I have not even read ' The 
 Duchess of La Valliere ' through ! I never have any time." 
 
 The colonel had a great deal more to say about promoting the 
 welfare of the people. Costume possessed great significance 
 with him. He offered to wager his own head that if only one- 
 half of the Russian peasantry could be induced to don German 
 trousers, the sciences would progress, trade would flourish, and 
 gold remain permanently in Russia. 
 
 Tchitchikoff listened and listened, looking the colonel 
 steadily in the eye the while, and he finally said to himself, 
 " Evidently enough, there's no need to stand on ceremony with 
 this man." Thereupon, he immediately stated that he wished 
 to buy some serfs, obtain the necessary deeds of sale, and fulfil 
 all the formalities. 
 
 " So far as I can judge by your words," said the colonel, in 
 a good deal of confusion, " this is a request you present, is it 
 not?" 
 
 " Exactly so." 
 
 "In that case, put it in writing. It will go to the commis- 
 sion for the reception of reports, which after having passed 
 opinion upon it, will send it to me. From me it will go to the 
 committee of rural aflairs. Thence, after sundry amendments, 
 it will pass to the superintendent. The superintendent will 
 then communicate with my secretary." 
 
 " Good gracious ! " exclaimed Tchitchikofl". " God knows how
 
 252 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 long it will take to transact the business in writing ! You see, 
 the souls I want are — after a fashion — dead." 
 
 " Very good. Then write that the souls are, after a fashion, 
 dead." 
 
 " But how can dead souls be written down ? It is impossible 
 to inscribe them like that, for although they are dead, it must 
 appear as though they were alive." 
 
 " Good. Then write, 'but it is necessary, or it is requisite, 
 it is desirable, it is demanded,' in fact, anything you like, 'that 
 they shall appear as though alive.' This cannot be transacted 
 in any other way than by writing. England, and even Napo- 
 leon has set the example. I will detail a commissioner, who 
 will conduct you to all the departments." 
 
 He touched a bell. A man, the secretary, made his appearance. 
 
 "Send me a commissioner!" The commissioner, something 
 between a peasant and an official, also appeared. " This man 
 here will conduct you to all these indispensable places." So 
 said the colonel. 
 
 Tchitchikoif decided to accompany the commissioner and 
 inspect the indispensable departments out of curiosity. The 
 department for the reception of reports existed as yet only 
 upon the sign-board, and the doors were locked. The head of 
 affairs here had been transferred to the newly instituted com- 
 mittee of rural building. His place had at first been supplied 
 by the colonel's valet, named Berezovsky ; who also had since 
 been ordered off to the committee on construction. They 
 knocked at the department of rural aflairs — and there things 
 were undergoing re-arrangement ; however, finally they routed 
 out a drunken man, but got no satisfaction from him. "Every- 
 thing is in a nonsensical state here," remarked the commissioner 
 to Tchitchikofi", at last. "The master is being led by the nose. 
 The building commission rules everything ; it tears everybody 
 from his business, and sends him wherever it sees fit. And 
 the only profit in the whole aftair is derived by the commission." 
 This fellow Avas evidently displeased with the commission. 
 
 When Tchitchikofi" glanced around him, he saw building going 
 on everywhere. He did not care to push his inspection farther. 
 On his return, he told the colonel that things were in a bad 
 way, that there was nothing but confusion in the place, that it 
 was impossible to make head or tail of it, and that there was no 
 commission for the reception of reports at all, simply a desperate 
 set of thieves. 
 
 The colonel boiled over with righteous indignation, pressing 
 Tchitchikoft's hand warmly in token of his gratitude. Then, 
 immediately snatching up pen and paper, he wrote down eight
 
 TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 253 
 
 questions of the most searching nature : On what ground had 
 the building commission disposed, in this high-handed manner, 
 of ofBcials who were not subject to its authority '? How could 
 the director-in-chief permit the superintendent of works to set 
 out on an investigation without having first resigned his post ? 
 And how could the committee of rural affairs view with indiffer- 
 ence the fact that the commission for the reception of reports 
 and petitions was not in existence at all ? 
 
 "Now there's going to be a storm ! " thought Tchitchikoff, 
 and he tried to take his leave. 
 
 " No, I will not let you go," said the colonel. " My personal 
 pride is touched. I will show you what a regular, organised 
 course of management is like. I will intrust your business to a 
 man who is worth all the rest put together. He has completed 
 a university education. That's the sort of serfs that I have ! 
 So as not to waste any valuable time, I beg that you will take a 
 seat in my library," added the colonel, opening a side door. 
 " You will find books, paper, pens, pencils, and everything you 
 may require there. Make use of them, make use of them all; 
 you are the master here. Culture should be free to all." 
 
 Thus spoke Koshkarefi', as he conducted Tchitchikoff' into the 
 library. This was a vast hall, lined from top to bottom with 
 books. There were even some stufied animals. The books 
 pertained to all branches of learning : to forestry, the rearing of 
 cattle and swine, horticulture, and so on ; and there were special 
 journals on every subject, such as are disseminated among sub- 
 scribers, but which no one ever reads. Perceiving that 
 none of these books were adapted for passing the time, Tchi- 
 tchikoff' turned to another case. This was jumping from the 
 frying-pan into the fire. All these were philosophical works. 
 Six huge tomes presented themselves to his eyes, with the title, 
 " Preliminary Introduction to the Domain of Thought ; or, The 
 Theory of Universality, Correlation, and Essentiality, in its 
 Application to the Conception of the Organic Origin of the 
 Keciprocal Partition of Universal Productiveness." Turn the 
 book over as Tchitchikoff would, on every page there occurred 
 such words as "phenomenon," "development," "abstract," 
 " isolation," and " conjunction," and the deuce knows Avhat 
 besides. 
 
 "This is beyond me ! " said our hero, and he turned to a 
 third book-case, where all the volumes belonged to the depart- 
 ment of art. Thence he drew out a bulky tome, with some 
 immodest mythological pictures, and began to look them over. 
 That style of picture pleases bachelors of middle age, and some-
 
 254 DEAD SOtJLS. 
 
 times even laoary old men, "wlio run after ballet-dancers and 
 other like spices. Having finished the inspection of this book, 
 Tchitchikoif was on the point of pulling down another of the 
 same description, when Colonel KoshkarefF made his appearance 
 with a beaming countenance and a document in his hand. 
 
 " It's all done, and capitally done ! The man of whom I spoke 
 to you is a positive genius. For this I shall place him over 
 them all, and I shall establish an entire department for him 
 alone. See what a clear head he has, and how he has settled 
 everything in a few minutes." 
 
 " Now, glory to thee, Lord ! " thought Tchitchikoif, and he 
 prepared to listen. 
 
 The colonel on his side began to read : — 
 
 " ' Entering upon the consideration of the commission in- 
 trusted to me by your worship, I have the honour to report on 
 it, as follows : — 
 
 " ' 1st. The petition itself of the collegiate councillor and 
 cavalier, Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikoif, contains a misconcep- 
 tion ; for the souls he speaks of are styled dead through an 
 oversight. By this designation he has probably been graciously 
 pleased to indicate those who are near to death, but not dead. 
 And this very designation bears witness to an empirical educa- 
 tion, obtained, in all probability, in a parish school ; for the 
 human soul is deathless.' 
 
 "'He's a sharp fellow, said Colonel Koshkarefi", with satis- 
 faction. " He has pricked you a little there. But confess, he 
 wields a clever pen ! " 
 
 " ' In the second place, there are no unmortgaged souls, 
 either among those on the verge of death, or of any other sort, 
 on the estate ; for they all are not only mortgaged a first time, 
 without exception, but re-mortgaged, to the amount of one 
 hundred and fifty roubles a soul. Moreover, as regards the 
 small hamlet of Gurmailovka, the situation there is by no means 
 clear, on account of a lawsuit now being carried on with the 
 landowner, Predishtchefl', notice of which was duly published in 
 ' The Moscow Gazette,' of the present year. No. 42.' " 
 
 " Then why did not you tell me so in the first place ? Why 
 have you detained me with your nonsense ? " inquired Tchitchi- 
 koff angrily. 
 
 " Really, now ! Why, it was necessary that you should be 
 made aware of all this in writing. A fool can perceive a thing 
 unintelligently, but it must be seen intelligently." 
 
 Tchitchikoff snatched up his cap in a rage, and ran out of the 
 house, against all decorum. His coachman was standing with
 
 TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 255 
 
 the carriage in readiness, for he knew that he must not un- 
 harness the horses, as a written petition would have had to be 
 presented for fodder, and an order to serve out the oats would 
 only have been issued on the following day. Nevertheless, the 
 colonel ran out to accompany our hero to his carriage. He even 
 shook his hand warmly, pressed it to his heart, and thanked 
 him for having afibrded him an opportunity of seeing how his 
 oi'ganisation operated. He said that matters must be spurred 
 up and kept in motion, for everything was apt to become 
 drowsy, and the springs of an administration might grow rusty 
 and weak. In fact, owing to this incident,. a happy thought 
 had occurred to him : to institute a commission which should 
 be entitled the commission of scrutiny, with power over the 
 building commission, so that then no one would dare to steal 
 anything in future. 
 
 Tchitchikoff went away feeling angry and dissatisfied, and he 
 reached Kostanzhoglo's house at a late hour, when the candles 
 had already been lighted. 
 
 " What has detained you so late ? " asked the host when he 
 made his appearance at the doorway. 
 
 "Yes, what have you been discussing at such length with 
 the colonel"? " inquired Platonoff. 
 
 " I have never beheld such a fool since I was born ! " said 
 Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " That's nothing," remarked Kostanzhoglo. "Koshkareffis 
 a consoling phenomenon. He is useful, because in him one 
 sees reflected, in a grotesque and very striking manner, the 
 follies of those wiseacres, who, without knowing anything 
 themselves, pretend to direct the world. He has set up offices 
 and factories and schools ; and the deuce knows what he hasn't 
 established ! Xo sooner have he and his fellows recovered from 
 the effects of the French invasion of the year '12, than they 
 must needs completely ruin themselves again. In fact, they 
 have ruined themselves worse than the French ever ruined 
 them ; and thus it happens that a certain Piotr Petrovitch Pye- 
 tukh is regarded as a tine example of a landed proprietor," 
 
 " Well, his property is now pledged to the Advance Bank," 
 said Tchitchikoff. 
 
 "Just so! Everything is mortgaged, everything will go to 
 the bank." Having spoken thus, Kostanzhoglo began to rage 
 a little. "There's Shlyapkin, too, who has setup a candle- 
 factory; he has imported workmen from London, and has be- 
 come a dealer in candles ! A respectable business, truly, for a 
 landowner ! He also visits manufacturers and factory owners,
 
 256 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 and lie sets up spinning machines, and makes calico for tlie 
 liussies and the women of the town." 
 
 "But you have factories yourself," remarked Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " And who established them ? They established themselves. 
 The wool accumulated : there was no way of getting it off my 
 bands, and I began to weave cloth, coarse cloth, merely suited 
 to moujiks, my moujiks. However, some of it is purchased 
 from me at the fairs because of its cheapness. For six years in 
 succession, too, the fishermen piled up fish-scales on my shores. 
 And what was to be done with them ? So I began to boil them 
 down into glue, and I have made forty thousand roubles out of 
 them. And that's the way everything goes with me." 
 
 " What a devil of a fellow ! " thought Tchitchikoff, staring at 
 his host with all his eyes. " What claws he has for raking in 
 money ! " 
 
 "And then, I have undertaken these things from another 
 motive. I have drawn together a number of labourers, who 
 Avould otherwise have died of hunger. It is a famine year, and 
 all through the fault of the manufacturers, who neglected to sow 
 crops. Many factories have accumulated on my hands, my 
 friend. A new one springs up every year, simply because scraps 
 and refuse of some kind or other have accumulated. Only con- 
 sider domestic economy attentively. Every sort of rubbish will 
 yield a revenue." 
 
 " This is astounding ! So, rubbish jjields a revenue," said 
 Tchitchikoff 
 
 However, Kostanzhoglo now broke into a bitter speech about 
 what he called the Don Quixotism of the Russian character, 
 and Tchitchikoff, who wanted to catechise his host in detail as 
 to the manner in which every sort of rubbish could be made to 
 produce, a revenue, had no chance to interpolate a word. 
 
 " People imagine," said the host, " that they are enlightening 
 the peasant. Just make him rich first, and a good manager, 
 and the rest will be his business. But nowadays everybody is 
 more stupid than it is possible for one to conceive. Just see 
 what these scribblers write now ! They put forth some little 
 book, and all men dart upon it. And this is what they say : 
 ' The peasant leads a very simple, a too simple, drowsy life. He 
 must be made acquainted with articles of luxury : he must be 
 made to feel the need of a higher civilisation.' They them- 
 selves, thanks to this luxury, have become rags, and not men, 
 contracting the deuce knows what diseases. There is no longer 
 a little boy of eighteen who has not already tried everything ; 
 he has no teeth left him, and he's as bald as a bladder. So now
 
 TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 257 
 
 they want to infect the peasants also. But, thank God ! there is 
 one healthy class stillleft among us which has not been initiated 
 into all the vices. For this we simply owe thanks to God. The 
 agriculturist is the most honourable man among us. "Why do 
 we meddle with him ? Would to God that all men were like 
 the husbandman." 
 
 " So you assume that agriculture is the most profitable call- 
 ing to which a man can devote himself? " inquired Tchitchikoflf. 
 
 " It is the most legitimate, but not the most profitable. ' Thou 
 shalt till the earth in the sweat of thy brow,' it has been said. 
 There's nothing surprising about that. It has already been 
 proved, by the experience of ages, that man is more moral, 
 purer, nobler, more lofty, when engaged in the profession of 
 agriculture. I do not say, refrain from engaging in anything 
 else, but let agriculture lie at the foundation — that's all. Fac- 
 tories will arise of themselves, and factories of a legitimate sort, 
 just what is needed here, under the hand of a man who is him- 
 self on the spot. Not the sort of factories where all manner of 
 vile means are resorted to, and the wretched populace is demo- 
 ralised and depraved. Say what you like about luxuries, I shall 
 not establish on my estate any of those things which create a 
 demand for tobacco or sugar, for instance. If vice must enter 
 the world, it shan't be through my instrumentality. I will be 
 righteous in the sight of God. I have been living among the 
 people for twelve years, and I know what's what." 
 
 " The most wonderful thing to me is your statement, that by 
 judicious management profit may be derived from scraps and 
 remnants, and that every sort of refuse will give an income," said 
 Tchitchikofi". " For instance, if I became a landed proprietor, 
 and wanted to enrich myself in a brief space of time, so that I 
 might fulfil the highest duties of a citizen, in what manner 
 should I set about it ? " 
 
 *' How ought you to proceed, in order to become wealthy ? " 
 replied Kostanzhoglo. ** Ah, that's the point ! " 
 
 " Come, let us go to supper ! " said the hostess, rising from 
 the sofa, and stepping into the middle of the room, where she 
 wrapped her shivering limbs in a shawl. 
 
 Tchitchikoflf sprang from his chair with almost the same agility 
 that a military man would have shown, flew to the hostess with 
 the suave expression of a delicate statesman on his countenance, 
 oflTered her his arm with a flourish, and escorted her through 
 two apartments to the dining-room, where the soup-tureen was 
 already standing on the table, with its cover off", and exhaling 
 an agreeable odour of fresh herbs and spring vegetables. They 
 
 B
 
 258 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 all seated themselves at table. The servants quickly placed all the 
 courses on the table, in covered dishes, together M'ith every- 
 thing that -was necessary, and then quitted the room. Kostanz- 
 hoglo did not like to have the servants listen to the conversa- 
 tion of their superiors, and still less to have them stare at him 
 while he was engaged in eating. 
 
 *' You were speaking of becoming a landowner," he said at 
 last, addressing our hero. , " Well, there is the estate of my neigh- 
 bour, Khlobuyoff, for sale. Why don't you buy it ? It is a 
 splendid chance ; and I would pay him forty thousand roubles 
 for it on the spot, if he demanded^ that sum." 
 
 "H'm!" said Tchitchitoff, and he fell into thought. "But 
 why," he at last inquired, with some hesitation, " why do you 
 not purchase it yourself? " 
 
 " One must know how to draw the line somewhere. I have 
 a great many worries connected with my present estate, with- 
 out assuming any more responsibilities. Moreover, the noble- 
 men of the district are crying out against me, asserting that 
 I have taken advantage of their need and bankrupt condition — 
 indeed, that I am buying up all the land for a song, and so I 
 have grown tired of it all." 
 
 " How inclined people are to evil speaking ! " said Tchitchi- 
 koff. 
 
 " Particularly in our province : it is something you can't 
 conceive. They never mention me otherwise than as a niggard 
 and a miser of the first water. They make excuses for them- 
 selves on every point. ' I certainly have been a spendthrift,' 
 one of them will say ; ' but that was because I lived in 
 accordance with the higher requirements of life, and encouraged 
 tradesmen, that is to say, rascals. Of course, I might have 
 lived like a hog, as that Kostanzhoglo does.' " 
 
 " I should like to be such a hog ! " said Tchitchikojff. 
 
 " And all that is so much falsehood and nonsense. The 
 higher requirements, forsooth ! Why are they so lauded ? 
 These fellows buy books, indeed, but then they don't read 
 them. The matter ends in cards and champagne. And all this 
 comes of my not giving them dinners, and lending them money. 
 I don't give them dinners, simply because it would bore me to 
 entertain them : I am not accustomed to parties. But if any 
 one will come and eat what I eat myself — take pot-luck with me, 
 as the saying goes — I am very glad to have him. I don't lend 
 money ! What nonsense. Come to me in a case of absolute 
 need, and tell me the circumstances, and how you propose to 
 use my money ; if I see from your words, that you will employ
 
 TAVO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 259 
 
 it sensibly, and that the money will clearly be of advantage to 
 you, I won't refuse ; I won't even ask you for interest." 
 
 " This must be taken into consideration," thought Tchitchi- 
 koff. 
 
 " And I seldom, if ever, refuse," proceeded Kostanzhoglo. 
 " But fling my money to the winds, I won't. You must 
 excuse my not doing that. Deuce take the man who does it ! 
 He will spend his cash on dinners for his mistress, or he will 
 furnish his house in a mad style, or he will get up some sort of 
 a jubilee in memory of the fact that he has lived his life in vain. 
 There's no use in lending such a man money ! " 
 
 Here Kostanzhoglo spat, and came near uttering some violent 
 and indelicate words in the presence of his wife. The gloomy 
 tint of hypochondria darkened his countenance. Vertical and 
 horizontal wrinkles, the witnesses of the wrathful movement 
 of his spleen which had been so excited, collected on his brow. 
 " Permit me, honoured sir, to again recall you to the subject 
 of our interrupted conversation," said Tchitchikoflf, drinking 
 another glass of wine. " Suppose, for instance, that I were to 
 acquire the property which you were so good as to mention ; 
 then how much time would be required for me to become 
 sufficiently wealthy to — " 
 
 " If you wish," interrupted Kostanzhoglo gruffly and abruptly, 
 being still in an irritated frame of mind, " If you wish to grow 
 rich in a short space of time, you will never become wealthy at 
 all ; but if you wish to enrich yourself, without concerning 
 yourself as to the time required, you can speedily become rich. 
 Yes," went on Kostanzhoglo, still abruptly, as though he were 
 personally incensed with TchitchikofF, "it is necessary to feel 
 a love for work : without that, nothing can be accomplished. 
 You must love the management of your estate. And, believe 
 me, it is not at all wearisome. People have invented a fiction 
 to the eftect that it is dull in the country. I should die of 
 dulness if I were to pass a single day in the city, as people do 
 pass their days there, in those stupid clubs and inns and 
 theatres. Fools ! idiots ! asses they are ! The manager of an 
 estate has no time to be dull. Look at the yearly round of 
 work. See how, even before the advent of spring, ever3'thing 
 is already on the watch ; there is the preparation of the seeds, 
 the sorting, the measuring of the grain in the barns, and 
 the drying. Everything is scanned beforehand, and everything 
 reckoned up. And when the ice breaks up, and the streams 
 pour down, and the earth warms up, then the spade does its 
 work in vegetable garden and orchard, and the plough and
 
 260 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 harrow perform theirs in the fields ; and then come planting and 
 sowing. Well, the future harvest is sown, the blessing of the 
 world is sown, the food of millions is sown ! And then follows 
 the haymaking. And then summer has arrived. All at once 
 the reaping is in full swing : the wheat has come up after the 
 rye, and next the barley and the oats. Everything is seething ; 
 it is impossible to lose a minute. If you had twenty eyes, there 
 would be work for all of them. And when everything is done — • 
 the grain carried to the threshing-floor, and stored in the 
 granaries — then begins the autumn ploughing of the stubble, the 
 preparing of the storehouses for the winter, the ricks and the 
 cattle-pens to see to, and, at the same time, all the women's 
 work. And then in the winter, the threshing and the removal of 
 the grain to the granaries ; the felling and sawing of the trees 
 in the forest ; the conveyance of bricks and timber for building 
 operations in the spring. You go to the mill, you go to the 
 factory, you go to inspect the workmen's quarters, you go to the 
 peasants' cabins to see how they are getting on there. Yes, for 
 my part, if a carpenter handles his axe well, I am ready to 
 stand and watch him for two hours, such a cheering eflect does 
 work produce upon me. But if you can also see with what 
 object all this is being done, how everything about you is mul- 
 tiplying and increasLQg, bearing increase and income — 'Well, I 
 cannot express what takes place in your spirit then. And it is 
 not because your money is uicreasing — money is nothing in 
 itself — but because all this is the work of your own hands, 
 because j^ou see that you are the source of it all ; that you are 
 the creator, and that from you, as from some magician, good 
 and abundance are showered upon all. Now, where else will you 
 find me such another enjoyment ? " said Kostanzhoglo ; and, 
 as he raised his face, the wrinkles disappeared from it. He was 
 radiant, like an emperor on the day of his solemn coronation, 
 and flashes of light seemed to radiate from his countenance. 
 '* Yes, in the whole world, you will not find any other such 
 pleasure. Just in this does man imitate God. God prescribed 
 to himself the task of creation as the loftiest of all enjoyments. 
 And he demands the same thing from man, in order that man, 
 like his Creator, may distribute happiness around him. And yet 
 this is called a tiresome task ! " 
 
 Tchitchikoflf listened to his host's melodious speech as to the 
 song of heavenly birds. His mouth watered. His very eyes 
 grew moist, and expressed beatitude. 
 
 '* Konstantin, it is time to go," said the mistress of the house, 
 rising from the table. They all rose up. Tchitchikoff ofiered
 
 TWO VERY ECCENTRIC PERSONS. 261 
 
 his arm with a flourish, and conducted his hostess back to the 
 drawing-room ; but his movements now lacked their former 
 agility, for his thoughts were now all bent on practical matters. 
 
 "You may say what you like, a country life is tiresome all 
 the same," said Platonoff, as he walked behind them. 
 
 " My guest isn't a stupid man," meanwhile thought the host. 
 " He is attentive, and cautious of speech." 
 
 When they had all settled themselves in a comfortable little 
 room opposite a balcony, with a glass door leading into the 
 garden, and had gazed dreamily at the stars shining above the 
 crests of the trees in the sleeping garden, Tchitchikoff expe- 
 rienced an agreeable sensation, such as he had not felt for a 
 long time, exactly as though his native roof had at length, after 
 his prolonged wanderings, received him once more, and as if, to 
 crown all, he had accomplished everything which he had desired, 
 and had cast aside his pilgrim's staff, saying. Enough ! Such 
 wonderful eflect had his host's discourse produced upon him. 
 
 That night when he went to bed he did not sleep. His 
 thoughts kept him awake. He was meditating how he might 
 become the owner, not of a fanciful, but of a real, estate. If he 
 could only mortgage those dead souls, and acquire some pro- 
 perty which was not in cloudland ! He already beheld himself 
 actively engaged in directing things, just as Kostanzhoglo had 
 instructed him — swiftly, and yet cautiously, watching every- 
 thing with his own eyes, making himself personally acquainted 
 with all the peasants, devoting himself solely to labour and 
 to the management of affairs. He tasted, in anticipation, the 
 pleasure which he would experience when he had instituted 
 strict order, and when all the springs of the domestic machine 
 were acting vigorously, propelling one another. Work pressed ; 
 and just as flour is rapidly ground from the grain in a mill, so 
 cash, hard cash, was being continually extracted from all sorts 
 of scraps and refuse. His host was the first man in all Russia 
 for whom he had experienced a personal respect. So far, he 
 had respected a man either for his high official rank or for his 
 possessions. Never yet had he respected any man for his mind 
 alone. Kostanzhoglo was the first, and our hero understood that 
 he could not play any tricks on him. Another project, moreover, 
 engrossed his thoughts — that of purchasing Khlobuyoff's estate. 
 He had ten thousand roubles of his own, and he thought of trying 
 to borrow fifteen thousand from Kostanzhoglo, since the latter 
 had already declared that he was ready to assist any man who 
 was desirous of becoming wealthy. The rest he might require 
 must be obtained in some other way, either by mortgage or
 
 262 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 simply by making KUobuyoff wait. That was possible, too, 
 surely. And be pondered upon the subject for a long time. At 
 length Morpheus, who had held all the household in his em- 
 brace for fully four hours already, clasped Tchitchikoff also to 
 his bosom. He fell into a sound sleep and began to snore. 
 
 V CHAPTER XV. 
 
 
 U i^ J LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 
 
 \t^ 1 "On the following day everything was arranged in the best pos- 
 ^ r^J~ sible manner. Kostanzhoglo gladly lent our hero ten thousand 
 roubles, without interest or security — on his simple note of 
 hand: so ready, indeed, was he to assist anyone on the road 
 to wealth. He showed Tchitchikoff all over his establishment. 
 With him, not a single moment was lost ; noting ran to waste ; 
 not the slightest irregularity took place among his villagers. 
 There was not a sluggard anywhere. Intelligence and content- 
 ment beamed upon the faces of his peasants. Everything was 
 so simply and sensibly arranged that it worked itself. The alter- 
 nations of forest and tilled land could not fail to astonish Tchi- 
 tchikoff. How much this man had accomplished, without making 
 any noise in the world, without composing projects or treatises 
 about the manner of insuring the well-being of all mankind ! 
 And how useless is the life of the man who dwells in towns, 
 who frequents taverns and dances over polished floors ! At this 
 thought Tchitchikoff"s desire to become a landowner grew 
 stronger than ever. 
 
 Kostanzhoglo himself offered to accompany our hero to 
 Khlobuyoff's in order to inspect the estate with him. Tchi- 
 tchikoff" was in fine spirits. After a hearty breakfast, they set 
 out, all three, including Platonoff, riding in Pavel Ivanovitch's 
 calash ; the host's empty prolyotka ''•' followed them. The 
 dog, Yarb, ran on in front, chasing the birds from the road. 
 Kostanzhoglo's forests and tilled fields stretched for fifteen 
 versts on both sides of the highway. As soon as their limit 
 was reached, everything assumed a very different aspect : the 
 grain was sickly, and stumps took the place of trees. Khlo- 
 buyoff''s little village seemed deserted, in spite of its fine situa- 
 * A circular drozliky.
 
 LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 263 
 
 tion. The new stone mansion, which had remained in an 
 unfinished state and uninhabited for several years, stood out 
 most prominently of all ; and behind it was the little old manor- 
 house, which was still used as a residence. They found the 
 master of the place unkempt and yawning, having but just 
 awoke. He was forty years of age ; his neckerchief was knotted 
 on one side ; there was a patch on his surtout, and there were 
 holes in his shoes. 
 
 • God knows what his delight at seeing his visitors was : it 
 was as though he had beheld some brothers, from whom he had 
 been separated for a very long time. 
 
 " Konstantin Feodorovitch ! Platon Mikhailovitch ! You have 
 honoured me with a visit! " he exclaimed. "Let me rub my 
 eyes. I really thought that no one was ever coming to see me 
 again. Everybody Hies from me, as from the plague : they 
 think that I want to try to borrow money from them. Oh, it's 
 hard, hard, Konstantin Feodorovitch ! I see that I alone am 
 to blame. But what am I to do ? The pig has earned his 
 pig's fate. Excuse me, gentlemen, for receiving you in such a 
 costume : my boots, as you see, are full of holes. What refresh- 
 ment will you take ? " 
 
 " Do not stand on ceremony. We have come on business. 
 Here is a purchaser for your estate, Pavel Ivanovitch Tchi- 
 tchikoff,'' said Kostanzhoglo. 
 
 "I am heartily glad to make your acquaintance. Allow me 
 to shake hands with you." 
 
 Tchitchikolf gave him both his hands. 
 
 " I should very much like to show you the estate, which is 
 worthy of your attention, Pavel Ivanovitch. But permit me to 
 inquire, gentlemen, whether you have dined ? " 
 
 " Yes, yes," said Kostanzhoglo, desirous of dismissing the 
 subject. " We will not trespass on your hospitality, and we are 
 going back directly." 
 
 "In that case, let us start," said Khlobuyoff, taking up his 
 cap. " Let us go and inspect my disorder and thriftlessness." 
 
 The guests put on their caps, and all set out on foot to survey 
 the village. Almost every street was lined on both sides with 
 wretched huts, the tiny, shattered windows of which were filled 
 up with foot-cloths.* 
 
 " Yes, let us go and inspect my disorder and thriftlessness," 
 repeated Khlobuyoff. " Of course, it is as well for you that you 
 have dined. Will you believe it, Konstantin Feodorovitch? 
 
 * The long strips of cloth which peasants wind about thcii- feet in place 
 of stockings.
 
 264 BEAD SOULS. 
 
 there is not a single chicken in the house, to such straits have 
 I come ! " 
 
 He sighed ; and, as though sensible that he would meet with 
 but little sympathy from Konstantin Feodorovitch, he took Pia- 
 tonoff's arm, and pressing it close to his breast, he walked on in 
 advance with him. Kostanzhoglo and Tchitchikoff remained 
 behind, and, linking arms, followed the other pair at a dis- 
 tance. 
 
 " It's hard, Platon Mikhailovitch, it's hard ! " said Khlobuyoflf 
 to Platonoflf. " You cannot conceive how hard it is. No money, 
 no food, no shoes ! These are surely words in an unknown 
 tongue to you. All this would be but a trifle were I but young 
 and alone. But when all these misfortunes attack you in your 
 old age, when you have a wife and five children by your side, 
 then you grow sad involuntarily, you grow sad." 
 
 " Well, and if you were to sell your estate, wouldn't that set 
 3'ou right ? " 
 
 " Set me right indeed ! " exclaimed Khlobuyoff, with a wave 
 of the hand. " Everything must go to pay my debts, and there 
 won't be a thousand roubles left for me." 
 
 " Then what are you going to do ? " 
 
 " God knows ! " 
 
 " Why do you not undertake something to extricate yourself 
 from such a position ? " 
 
 " What should I undertake ? " 
 
 " Get some employment." 
 
 ** I was a governmental secretary. But what sort of a place 
 would they give me now ? How am I to accept some paltry 
 remuneration of five hundred roubles or so ? I have a wife and 
 five children, remember." 
 
 " Get a situation as overseer." 
 
 " And who would intrust his property to me ? I have ruined 
 my own." 
 
 " Well, but if hunger and death threaten, something must be 
 done. I will ask my brother whether he cannot get you some 
 employment through someone in the city." 
 
 '' No, Platon Mikhailovitch," replied Khlobuyofi", sighing, and 
 pressing his hand warmly. " I am good for nothing now. I have 
 become decrepit before my time, and my loins ache from my old 
 sins, and I have rheumatism in my shoulders. Of what use am 
 I '? And besides, a great many lucrative places have already 
 been established for the benefit of useless people. God forbid 
 that the taxes of the poorer classes should be increased on my 
 account ! "
 
 LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 265 
 
 " Behold the fruits of dissipation ! " thought Platonoff, " This 
 is worse than my heedlessness." 
 
 In the meantime, while they had been thus conversing, Kos- 
 tanzhoglo, as he walked behind them with Tchitchikoff", was 
 quite beside himself with rage. 
 
 " Just see," said Kostanzhoglo, pointing with his finger, *' to 
 what a state of misery he has reduced his peasants ! Why, 
 there are neither carts nor horses here. If murrain breaks out 
 a man ought not to consider his own property. He ought to sell 
 all his own belongings at once, and provide the peasant with 
 cattle, in order that he may not be left for a single day without 
 the means of pursuing his work. However, things cannot be 
 remedied for years here. The peasants have become lazy, dis- 
 sipated drunkards. If you ever allow them to remain without 
 work for even one year, you ruin them for ever ; they grow used 
 to rags and a vagabond life. And what land ! Look at the land ! " 
 he said, pointing to the fields, which soon made their appear- 
 ance behind the cabins. " They are all water-meadows. I 
 could raise flax, and make five thousand roubles out of that 
 alone. I could plant beets, and get four thousand out of them. 
 And look yonder ; on the slope a forest formerly arose : there is 
 nothing now. He has planted no grain — -I know that. And 
 look at those valleys. I would raise such a forest there that 
 the crows could not fly to the top of it. The idea of flinging 
 away such treasures of land ! And if there was nothing to 
 plough with, he might have cultivated the vegetable garden with 
 a spade : he might have undertaken that garden himself. Take 
 the spade in your own hand ; make your wife, your children, 
 your servants do it too ; if you must die beasts, at all events 
 die over your work. You will then at least die in the fulfilment 
 of your duty ; and if not, you can eat yourself for dinner like a 
 pig ! " So saying, Kostanzhoglo spat, and his splenetic temper 
 darkened his brow with a gloomy cloud. 
 
 When they advanced farther, and stood upon the crest of a 
 declivity overgrown with cytisus, and looked down upon the 
 gleaming bends of the river, first at the distant valley, where a 
 portion of General Betrishtchefi"s house peeped forth from the 
 encircling forest, and then at the wooded hill beyond, veiled in 
 the blue mist of distance, Tchitchikoft' suddenly said, " If some 
 nice groves were planted here, the village would transcend every- 
 thing in the world in beauty." 
 
 " So you are a lover of tine prospects ! " said Kostanzhoglo, 
 with a quick, stern glance at him. " Look here ! if you take to 
 running after views, you will be left with no bread. Look out
 
 266 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 for your fields, and not for beauty. Beauty will come of itself. 
 Let it serve you for an example, that the best and handsomest 
 cities are those where each man has built according to his own 
 convenience and taste. Those which have been built by rule 
 are nothing but a collection of barracks. Away with beauty ! 
 Look to practical results ! " 
 
 "It's a pity that it is necessary to wait so long ; I should so 
 like to see everything in the proper condition." 
 
 "Patience ! Work for a few years : plant, sow, till the soil, 
 without a moment's rest. It is hard, very hard ; but later on, 
 when the earth has been well turned over^ it will begin to assist 
 you of itself, just as though it were a machine. Yes, my dear 
 felloAv, over and above your seventy hands or so, seven hundred 
 invisible ones will begin to toil. Everything will be increased 
 tenfold. I never move a finger now— everything runs by itself. 
 Yes, Nature loves patience ; that is the law which God himself 
 has prescribed to her." 
 
 " When I listen to you, I am conscious of a great access of 
 force. My courage rises," said Tchitchikoff". 
 
 " That's a nice way to plough land ! " exclaimed Kostanz- 
 hoglo, with a keen feeling of indignation, pointing to the slope. 
 " I can't stay here any longer ; it's death to me to gaze upon 
 such disorder and desolation ! You can come to an understand- 
 ing with him now, without my assistance. Get this treasure out 
 of that fool's hands as speedily as possible. He is only dis- 
 honouring the gifts of God." So saying, Kostanzhoglo, who was 
 already clouded by the bilious disposition of his perturbed spirit, 
 took leave of Tchitchikoff, and, having overtaken their host, 
 began to say farewell to him. 
 
 " I beseech you, Konstantin Feodorovitch," said the astonished 
 host ; " you have only just arrived, and yet you are going al- 
 ready! " 
 
 " I can't stay. I have an imperative engagement at home," 
 replied Kostanzhoglo. Whereupon he hastily took leave, seated 
 himself in his carriage, and drove off". 
 
 It seemed as though Khlobuyoff understood the cause of his 
 departure. 
 
 "Konstantin Feodorovitch cannot stand it," said he; "it is 
 not pleasant for such a manager as he is to look at this dis- 
 order. Believe me, Pavel Ivanovitch, I did not even plant grain 
 this year. As sure as I am an honest man, I had no seed, not 
 to mention the fact that there were no means of ploughing. They 
 say that your brother is a capital manager, Platon Mikhailo- 
 vitcli ; but Konstantin Feodorovitch — well, he's a Napoleon in
 
 LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 26? 
 
 his own liDe. In truth, I often think, why are so much brains 
 put into one head ? Why couldn't I at least have one little bit 
 in my own stupid noddle '? Look to yourselves, gentlemen ; 
 walk cautiously over the bridge lest you tumble into the pool. 
 I ordered the planks to be repaired last spring. What I feel 
 most compunction about is my poor peasants ; I perceive the 
 need of an example for them, but what sort of an example am I 
 for anyone ? And what am I to do '? I cannot be exacting and 
 strict. How am I to inculcate order in them, when I am so dis- 
 orderly myself '? Take them under your charge, Pavel Ivano- 
 vitch. I should have given them their liberty long ago, but that 
 it would have been of disadvantage to anyone. I see that it is 
 necessaiy first of all td' bring them to such a state that they 
 shall know how to order their own lives. It is requisite that a 
 man should be stern and just, and live among them, in order to 
 produce an efi'ect on them by his own example and his unweary- 
 ing activity. I perceive, from my own case, that the Kussian 
 man cannot get along without someone to urge him forwards : 
 without that he falls dozing, and decays." 
 
 " It is strange," said Platonoti', " that a Russian should be 
 capable of thus falling into drowsiness and decay ; that, unless 
 you watch the man of the lower classes with all your eyes, he 
 turns out a drunkard and good-for-nothing ! " 
 
 " That arises from the lack of civilisation," remarked Tchit- 
 chikotf. 
 
 " God knows what is the cause of it ! " went on Khlobuyoff, 
 " Surely, we are civilised. I have attended lectures at the uni- 
 versity, and what have I to show for being at the university ? 
 Come, now, what have I learned ? They not only did not teach 
 me to live an orderly life, but they even tried their best to teach 
 me the art of spending as much money as possible on every 
 new refinement or comfort, and they made me acquainted with 
 .IS many matters as possible which require the expenditure of 
 money. Why was I educated in so senseless a way ? Yes, and 
 look at my comrades. Two or three of them derived some real 
 advantage from it, and possibly because they would have been 
 sensible in any case ; but the rest only endeavoured to learn 
 things which ruin the health and entice money from one's 
 pocket. Ting, we always select in civilisation the things which 
 are the wor st of all ; we grasp the surface, but not the substance. , 
 Ko, Pavel Ivanovitch, we do hot understand how to live, but for 
 what cause, by Heaven ! I cannot say." 
 
 " There must be some cause," remarked Tchitchikoff. 
 
 Poor Khlobuyoft' sighed deeply several times, and proceeded
 
 268 DEAD SOtJLS. 
 
 as follows : " It sometimes seems to me that the Eussian is a 
 lost being. He wants to do everything, and can do nothing. 
 He keeps thinking that he will begin a new life on the morrow, 
 but nothing comes of it. On that very same evening he over- 
 feeds himself, so that he can do nothing but wink, and cannot 
 manage his tongue. He sits and stares at everyone like an owl. 
 Truly, we are all just like that." 
 
 "Yes," said TchitchikolF, laughing: "such things do 
 happen." 
 
 " Let us take still another turn in this direction," said Khlo- 
 buyoff. "Let us now inspect the pey^ants' fields." 
 
 The views on their way back were ^fe same. Slatternly dis- 
 order appeared everywhere. EverytHmg was neglected and 
 abandoned. An angry woman in a dirty gown was beating a 
 poor little girl to death, and swearing by all the devils in every 
 direction. Farther on, two peasant men were observing the 
 wrath of the drunken woman with stoical indifference. One of 
 them was scratching his back while the other was yawning. 
 Yawns were even visible on the buildings, whose roofs were 
 gaping. Platonoff, too, on his side, yawned as he gazed at 
 them. " My future property, these peasants," thought Tchitchi- 
 koff. "Hole on hole, and patch on patch." And, in fact, on 
 the top of one cabin lay a gate instead of a roof; the decaying 
 walls were propped up with poles, which had been removed 
 from the master's barns. It was evident that Trishkin's method of 
 dealing with his coat prevailed in the domestic management. The 
 people here cut off the cuffs and the tails to patch the elbows.* 
 
 " Your estate is not in an enviable condition," remarked 
 Tchitchikoff, as they entered the owner's house. 
 
 There they were struck by the commingling of poverty with 
 glittering trifles, mementoes of past luxury. A figure of Shak- 
 speare sat on the inkstand ; on the table there lay a dainty ivory 
 scratchback. The visitors were received by the mistress of the 
 house, dressed tastefully and in the latest fashion, who talked 
 about the city, and the theatre which had been started there. 
 The four children also were prettily dressed and in good taste, 
 and they even had a governess. However, this made them all 
 the more sad to contemplate, for they were thin and sickly. It 
 would have been better had they been clothed in striped petti- 
 coats and simple blouses, and had they been allowed to run 
 about the yard by themselves, and had in no wise differed from 
 the robust village children. The hostess was soon joined by a 
 
 * An allusion to a popular fable by Kruiloff, in -which he describes a 
 man's method of repairing his coat.
 
 LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 269 
 
 lady guest — some empty-headed chatterer — and, finally, the 
 ladies retired to their own apartments, whereupon, the children 
 running after them, the men were left alone. 
 
 " What is your price for the estate now ? " inquired Tchitchi- 
 koff. "I ask this, I tell you frankly, in order to learn your 
 ultimate, your lowest price; for the property is in a worse con- 
 dition than I had anticipated," 
 
 " In the very worst, Pavel Ivanovitch," answered Khlobuyofi". 
 "And that is not all. I will not conceal from you the additional 
 fact that, out of the hundred souls which are set down on the 
 census list, only fifty are among the living. That is the result 
 of the cholera among us. Some others have taken their leave 
 without passports ; so that they, too, may be reckoned among 
 the dead. If they were to be demanded by the mortgagees, 
 the whole estate would pass into the courts. Therefore I will 
 only ask j-ou thirty thousand roubles." 
 
 Tchitchikofi" began to meditate and to bargain. 
 
 "Mercy on us! Thirty thousand! For such an estate — 
 thirty thousand roubles ! Come, take twenty-five thousand." 
 
 Platonoft' felt ashamed for his /riend. " Conclude the sale, 
 Pavel Ivanovitch," he said. " You can get that much for the 
 property at any time. If you will not give him thirty thousand, 
 my brother and I will join together and purchase it." 
 
 "Veiygood, I agree," said Tchitchikofi' in alarm. "Very 
 good ; but only on condition that half of the money shall not be 
 paid for a year." 
 
 " No, Pavel Ivanovitch, I cannot consider that for a moment. 
 Give me half on the spot, and the remainder in a fortnight. 
 The bank would lend me that amount, if that were only enough 
 tc satisfy the leeches." 
 
 "Really? Well, well," said Tchitchikofi". "I have only 
 ten thousand upon me at present." In point of fact, he was 
 lying : he had twenty thousand in all, not counting the money 
 which Kostanzhoglo had lent him. But it pained him to part 
 with so much at one time. 
 
 " No, thank you, Pavel Ivanovitch ! I tell you that it is 
 absolutely necessary that I should have fifteen thousand." 
 
 " Well, only five thousand will be lacking. I do not know 
 where to get them on the spur of the moment." 
 
 " I will lend you five thousand to-morrow," said Platonofi". 
 
 " Will you really ? " exclaimed Tchitchikofi, thinking to him- 
 self, " Well, this is very opportune that he should lend me that 
 money." They then struck hands on the bargain. Tchitchikofi"s 
 dressing-case was brought from the calash, and ten thousand
 
 270 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 roubles were taken from it, which amount Tchitchikoff handed 
 to Khlobuyoif as earnest money. He promised to bring him the 
 remaining five thousand roubles on the morrow ; that is to say, 
 he promised. But he meant to bring only three thousand or so, 
 after a lapse of two or three days, and, in fact, to put it off still 
 longer if possible. Pavel Ivanovitch particularly disliked to let 
 any money pass out of his hands. Even in a case of extreme 
 necessity, it always seemed to him better to surrender the 
 money to-morrow than to-day. That is to say, he proceeded as 
 we all do. We all find it agreeable to put off a creditor. Let 
 him polish his spine in the anteroom for a while. Just as 
 though he could not wait ! A"Vhat business is it of ours that 
 every hour may be precious to him, and that his affairs may 
 suffer from it ? Come to-morrow, my good fellow ; I. have no 
 time to attend to you to-day. 
 
 ** Where shall you live in future ? " Platonofi" now inquired 
 of Khlobuyoff. " Have you any other village ?" 
 
 " None at all ; I shall go to town. I have a little house 
 there. It makes no difference. It would have been necessary 
 to do so in any case, for the sake of the children. They must 
 have masters in the law of God, in music and dancing. It is 
 impossible to procure them in the village, of course." 
 
 " Not a morsel of bread, and yet his children must learn to 
 dance ! " thought Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " This is queer," thought Platonoff. 
 
 " But we must wet down the contract in some way," said 
 Khlobuyoff". " Hey, there, Kiriushka ! fetch a bottle of cham- 
 pagne, my good fellow." 
 
 " There's not a bit of bread, but there is champagne," thought 
 Tchitchikoff'. 
 
 Platonoff did not know what to think. 
 
 Khlobuyoff" had provided himself with champagne, in case of 
 an emergency. He had sent to town — what was to be done ? 
 Kvas is not sold in the shops on credit, and yet a man must 
 drink. However, a Frenchman who had recently come from St. 
 Petersburg with some wines allowed everyone to take them on 
 credit. There was nothing else for Khlobuyoff to do but to buy 
 some champagne from him mthout paying for it. 
 
 This champagne was now brought. They drank three glasses 
 of it, and grew meriy. Khlobuyoff unbent ; he became charming 
 and sociable, and overflowed with anecdotes and wit. He dis- 
 played in his conversation so much knowledge of men and 
 the world, he had observed many things so well and faithfully, 
 he depicted his fellow-landowners so aptly and skilfully in a
 
 LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 271 
 
 few words, he so clearly perceived the errors and failings of 
 them all, he knew so thoroughly the history of the ruined ones 
 • — the why and the how of their decay — he knew how to 
 describe their habits with so much originality and ability, that 
 both of his hearers were enchanted with his discourse, and felt 
 inclined to pronounce him an extremely clever man. 
 
 " I am astonished," said Tchitchikoif, " that you, with such 
 ability, can hit upon no plans or resources." 
 
 " I have some plans," replied Ivhlobuyoff, and immediately he 
 overwhelmed them with a whole mountain of projects. Everyone 
 of these was so senseless, so extraordinary, so little derived from 
 any acquaintance with men and with the Avorld, that all hishearers 
 could do was to shrug their shoulders and say, " Good heavens! 
 what an immeasurable gulf exists between the knowledge of 
 men and the world and the art of making use of that know- 
 ledge ! " Everything was founded on the immediate procuring 
 from some quart-er or another of a sum of one or two hundred 
 thousand roubles. Then, it seemed to Khlobuyoff, everything 
 would come right, and his estate would be managed as it 
 should be ; his income might be quadrupled, all damage might be 
 repaired, and he would be placed in a position to pay his debts; 
 and he concluded his speech thus : " But what do you advise 
 me to do ? There is not, no, there is not in existence, a philan- 
 thropist who could make up his mind to advance me two hun- 
 dred, or even one hundred, thousand roubles as a loan. Plainly, 
 God wills it not." 
 
 "The idea," thought Tchitchikoff, "that God should send 
 that fool two hundred thousand roubles ! " 
 
 " 1 have an aunt, though, who is worth three millions," pur- 
 sued Khlobuyoff. "She is a pious old woman, and gives money 
 to churches and monasteries ; but she is slow in assisting her 
 nearest relatives. She's an aunt of the ancient pattern, well 
 worth inspection. She has four hundred canaries, and her 
 poodle-dogs, parasites, and servants are such as are not to be 
 seen elsewhere nowadays. The youngest of her servants must 
 be sixty years old, though she always addresses him as ' Hey, 
 there, boy ! ' If a guest does not behave to suit her, she 
 orders the viands to be carried past him at dinner. And it is 
 done : that's what she is like ! " 
 Platonoflf burst into a laugh. 
 
 " What is her name, and where does she live?" inquired 
 Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " She lives in our town. Her name is Alexandra Ivanovna 
 Khajiasarova." " '
 
 272 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " Why do not you appeal to her ? " asked Platonoff, with 
 sympathy. "It seems to me that, if she could realise the 
 condition of your family, she would not refuse you help." 
 
 "Well, no; she would. She is rather strong-minded ; indeed, 
 she's a flinty old lady, Platon Mikhailovitch ! And she has 
 plenty of other courtiers to hang about her without me. 
 There's one man who aspires to the governorship. He has 
 claimed relationship with her, and is trying to get hold of her 
 fortune. God be with him ! perhaps he may succeed." 
 
 " The fool ! " thought Tchitchikoff. " I myself would wait 
 upon such an aunt as that, just as a nurse waits upon a 
 child ! " 
 
 " What dry work talking is ! " said Khlobuyoff. ' Hey, 
 there, Kiriushka ! fetch another bottle of champagne." 
 
 " No, no ; I shall not drink any more," said Platonoff. 
 
 "Nor I," added Tchitchikoff; and they both declined in a 
 very decided manner. 
 
 " Well, then, at least promise to visit me in town. I give 
 a dinner to our city ofl&cials on the 8th of July." 
 
 " Good gracious ! " exclaimed Platonoff. "A dinner in this 
 state of affairs, when you are utterly ruined ! " 
 
 " What am I to do ? I can't help it. It is my duty," 
 answered Khlobuyoff. " They have entertained me." 
 
 Platonoff" opened his eyes to their fullest extent. Up to that 
 moment he had not been aware that there exist in the cities 
 and towns of Russia certain wise individuals whose lives are an 
 absolutely unsolvable problem. It seems as though an individual 
 of this class were ruined ; he is head over ears in debt ; he has 
 no property whatever, and yet he gives a dinner, and all his 
 guests say that it is the last, that their host will be carried off 
 to prison on the morrow. Ten years elapse, and the wise man 
 is still in existence, he is still more deeply in debt than before, 
 and is still giving a dinner ; and the guests, as usual, think it 
 will be the last, and again feel convinced that the morrow 
 will see their host in prison. 
 
 Khlobuyoff's house in town presented a remarkable spectacle. 
 One day the pope, clad in his vestments, would be celebrating 
 a prayer service ; and on the morrow some French actors would 
 be holding a rehearsal there. On one day not a crumb of 
 bread was to be found in the place ; on the following, there was 
 a hospitable reception of artists and painters, and magnificent 
 presents for everybody. Sometimes such very embarrassing 
 intervals occurred, that anyone in Khlobuyoff's place would have 
 hung or shot himself but he was saved from such a course by
 
 LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 273 
 
 a religious turn of mind, which in him was blended in some 
 queer fashion with a dissipated life. 
 
 At these bitter and difficult moments he perused the lives of 
 the saints and penitents, who had schooled their minds to soar 
 above misfortune. His soul became very tender at such times: 
 he grew gentle of spirit, and his eyes filled with tears. He 
 prayed; and strange to say, some unexpected succour nearly 
 always arrived from some quarter or other : either some one of 
 his old friends remembered him, and sent him money, or some 
 passing stranger lady having heard his history by accident, with 
 the impulsive generosity characteristic of the feminine heart, 
 sent him a handsome present, or rendered him a service in 
 some quarter of which he never heard. Then he piously ac- 
 knowledged the boundless mercy of providence, had a service 
 of prayer celebrated out of gratitude, and began his life of 
 dissipation afresh. 
 
 "I'm sorry for him, I really am," said Platonoflf to Tchitchi- 
 koft", as they were driving away, after having taken leave of him. 
 " He's the Prodigal Son ! " replied Tchitchikoff. " Such people 
 deserve no pity." 
 
 And they both soon ceased to think of him — Platonofi", because 
 he was accustomed to gaze on all things and people languidly 
 and sleepily. His heart suffered at the sight of suffering, but 
 the impression which was left on his soul was never a profound 
 one. Besides, after the lapse of a few minutes he no more 
 thought of Khlobuyoff, as he no longer thought of himself. 
 Tchitcjiikoff did not think of Khlobuyoff, because all his thoughts 
 were seriously pre-occupied with his purchase. Consider it as 
 he might, turn it on whatever side he would, he perceived that 
 the pui'chase was an advantageous one in any case. He might 
 be able to mortgage it. He might contrive so as to mortgage 
 merely the dead and fugitive serfs. He might arrange so that 
 all the, best land could be first sold piecemeal, and the estate 
 mortgaged all the same afterwards. He might also make 
 arrangements to cultivate the property himself, and become a 
 proprietor after the pattern of Kostanzhoglo, availing himself 
 of the latter's advice, as his neighbour and benefactor. He might 
 moreover proceed in such a manner as to sell the estate to pri- 
 vate persons — that is of course in case he did not wish to under- 
 take the care of it himself — thus merely retaining for himself the 
 deceased and fugitive serfs. Then another means of profit pre- 
 sented itself to his mind : he might abandon this region entirely, 
 and not pay Kostanzhoglo the money which he had borrowed 
 from him. Strange thought ! Not that Tchitchikoff entertained
 
 274 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 it, but it suddenly presented itself to his mind mocking and 
 laughing and winking at him. A shameless hussy of a thought ! 
 An unruly creature, forsooth! 
 
 • Our hero felt content — content because he was now a landed 
 proprietor, not in fancy, but in reality : a proprietor who had 
 land and appurtenances and peasants — peasants who were not 
 fictions, not creatures of the imagination, but actual persons. 
 And by degrees he began to sway about, and to rub his hands, 
 and to wink at himself, and to blow some march through his 
 fist, placed to his lips as though it had been a trumpet ; and he 
 even uttered a few encouraging words aloud, as well as some 
 nicknames addressed to himself, such as " My little bull-dog," 
 and " My plump little chicken." But recalling the fact that he 
 was not alone, he suddenly ceased, and endeavoured by some 
 means to check the ill-timed outburst of his rapture ; and when 
 Platonoff, taking some of our hero's noise for fragments of a 
 remark addressed to him, inquired, " What is it ? " he re- 
 plied, " Nothing." 
 
 " !■ :cp ! " at last shouted Platonoff to the coachman. 
 
 Tchitchikoff glanced about him, and perceived that they had, 
 for a lon^^ time, been driving through a magnificent grove. The 
 trunks of the beech-trees and the aspens, gleaming like a snowy 
 palisade, rose in light and graceful outlines against the back- 
 ground formed by the tender green of the newly unfolded foli- 
 age. The nightingales were trilling loudly in rivalry. The 
 wood-tulips gleamed yellow amid the grass. Our hero could 
 not account to himself for being in this beautiful place, when he 
 had so recently been in the midst of naked fields. Out from 
 among the trees peeped a church of white stone. At the end of 
 the road, too, a gentleman made his appearance, and advanced 
 to meet them : he wore a leather cap with a peak, and carried 
 a long dry stick in his hand. A hound of English breed, with 
 long, slender legs, ran on before him. 
 
 "Ah! here's my brother," said Platonofi". "Stop, coach- 
 man!" and then he descended from the calash: Tchitchikoft' 
 did the same. The dogs had already succeeded in licking each 
 other over. Lively, slender-legged Azor licked Yarb on the 
 nose, then he licked Platonofi''s hand, then leaped on Tcbitchi- 
 koflf and licked him on the ear. 
 
 The brothers embraced. 
 
 ''Ah! pray, Platon, how have you been treating me ? " said 
 the second brother, whose name was Vasiliy. 
 
 " What do you mean ? " answered Platon indifierently. 
 
 " AVhat, indeed ! Not a sound or a syllable from you for
 
 LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 275 
 
 three days ! Pyetukh's groom brought your horse home. * He 
 has gone off with some gentleman,' he reported. Now, if you 
 had only said one word as to where and why, and for how long 
 a time you were going ! But no ! Pray, brother, how can you 
 behave so ? And God knows what things I have been fancying 
 all these days ! " 
 
 " Well, what is to be done about it ? I forgot," answered 
 Platon. " We Avent to Konstantin Feodorovitch's. He salutes 
 you, and our sister also greets you. Pavel Ivanovitch, let me 
 introduce you : my brother. Vasiliy ; brother Vasiliy, this is 
 Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikoft'." The men thus invited to mutual 
 acquaintance shook hands and took off their caps. 
 
 " Who can this Tchitchikoff be?" thought brother Vasiliy. 
 "Brother Platon is not very choice in his acquaintances." He 
 scrutinized Tchitchikoff as closely as politeness would permit, 
 and perceived that our hero was a very respectable-looking 
 person. 
 
 Tchitchikoff also stared, as much as propriety allowed, at 
 brother Vasiliy, and perceived that the latter was shorter of 
 stature than Platon, that his hair was darker, and that his face 
 was far from being as handsome, but that thei'e was much more 
 life and animation, more heartfelt kindness in his features. It 
 was evident that he was less given to dreaming. However, to 
 this Pavel Ivanovitch paid little heed. 
 
 " I have made up my mind, Vasya, to travel through Holy 
 Russia with Pavel Ivanovitch. Perhaps that will cure me of 
 my hypochondria." 
 
 " How could you make up your mind so quickly ? " said 
 brother Vasiliy, taken aback ; and he came near adding, " and 
 go off with a man whom you see for the first time, and who may 
 be a worthless fellow, and the Devil knows who '? " Quite in- 
 credulous, he glanced askance at Tchitchikoff, and observed his 
 remarkable respectability. 
 
 They turned into a gateway on the right. The courtyard was 
 old-fashioned : the house also was old-fashioned, of a sort which 
 is not built now, with sheds beneath the lofty roof. Two gigantic 
 lime-trees grew in the middle of the yard, and covered nearly 
 half of it with shade. Beneath them stood several wooden 
 benches. Syringas and wild cherry-trees in blossom surrounded 
 the place, covering the walls completely with their flowers and 
 leaves. The manor-house was almost wholly concealed : only 
 the doors and windows peered prettily out beneath and between 
 the boughs. Through the forest-trees, straight as arrows, the 
 kitchen, the storerooms, and the cellars were visible.
 
 276 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 Moreover, one could hear the nightingales gaily warbling, and 
 the whole grove gave hack a loud echo. A feeling of peace and 
 pleasantness stole into the soul. Everything smacked of those 
 untroubled times when men lived in amity, and when all was 
 simple and plain. Brother Vasiliy invited TchitchikoiF to take 
 a seat. They all sat down on the benches under the lime- 
 trees. 
 
 A lad of seventeen, in a handsome blouse of pink cotton, 
 brought some decanters filled with all sorts of fruit kvas, of 
 various colours, some thick like butter, others foaming like 
 carbonated lemonade, and placed them before the gentlemen. 
 After setting the decanters on the table, he picked up a spade 
 which was leaning against a tree, and went ofi" to the garden. 
 All the servants of the Platonoff brothers, like those of their 
 brother-in-law, Kostanzhoglo, were gardeners ; or, to speak 
 more accurately, all the house-servants took turns at garden 
 duties. 
 
 Brother Vasiliy insisted that servants were not a separate 
 class; thati if needed, one could entirely dispense with them; 
 that everybody was capable of handing things, and that it was not 
 necessary to appoint certain people to do so ; that the Eussian 
 is a fine, alert felloAV, and no sluggard, so long as he goes about 
 in blouse and peasant coat ; but that as soon as he dons a 
 foreign surtout he instantly becomes awkward, dull, lazy ; 
 no longer changes bis shirt ; entirely ceases to take baths ; 
 sleeps in his coat, and beneath it raises a crop of foreign fleas, 
 and an innumerable multitude of other insects. And on this 
 point, he may have been right. In Platonoff" village the people 
 were dressed in a particularly dainty manner : the head-dresses 
 of the women were covered with gold, and the sleeves of their 
 blouses were made of the borders of genuine Turkish shawls. 
 
 ''Won't you take some refreshment ? " said brother Vasiliy 
 to Tchitchikoff", pointing to the decanters. " These are various 
 kinds of kvas, for which our house has long been celebrated." 
 
 Tchitchikoff" poured out a glass from the first decanter ; it 
 was mead, such as he had drunk in Poland in days gone by ; it 
 sparkled like champagne, and there was so much gas in it that 
 it leapt from his mouth into his nose. "Nectar!" said he. 
 Then he drank a glassful from a second decanter. Its contents 
 were even better than those of the first. 
 
 "That's a liquor, that's a liquor worth drinking!" said 
 Tchitchikoff". "I may say that I have drunk the very best 
 fruit wine at your brother-in-law, Konstantin Feodorovitch's, 
 nd the very best of kvas at your house."
 
 LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 277 
 
 " But we have fruit wine also : my sister made this. In what 
 direction do you propose traveUing ? " asked brother Vasihy. 
 
 "I am travelling," answered Tchitchikofl*, swaying lightly on 
 the bench, and stroking his knee, " not so much on my own 
 account as on the business of others. General Betrishtcheff, 
 my intimate friend, and I may even say my benefactor, has 
 requested me to notify his relatives of his daughter's marriage. 
 Relatives are relatives, of course : but I am also travelling on 
 my own account, so to speak ; for, not to mention the bene- 
 fitting of health, travelling is, so to speak, a book in itself, and 
 it is a second education to see the world and the difierent sorts 
 of people." 
 
 Brother Vasiliy fell into thought. " This man speaks rather 
 rhetorically, yet there is some truth in what he says," thought 
 he. After a brief silence he turned to Platon : "I begin to think, 
 Platon, that travelling may really enliven you. There is no- 
 thing the matter with j-ou but spiritual lethargy. You have 
 simply fallen asleep, and that not out of satiety or weariness, 
 but from the lack of vivid impressions and sensations. I am in 
 precisely the contrary condition. I should be very glad not to 
 feel things so acutely, and not to take everything which happens 
 so much to heart." 
 
 " You seemingly like to take things to heart," replied Platon. 
 " You search out disquiet, and manufacture troubles for 
 yourself." 
 
 *' Why should I manufacture them, when something disagree- 
 able is lying in wait at every step ?" said Vasiliy. "Have you 
 heard of the trick that Lyeuitzuin has played us during your 
 absence '? He has seized the bit of wild land where we celebrate 
 the red hill. In the first place, I will not surrender that land 
 for any money whatever. My peasants celebrate the Krasnaya 
 Gorka* there every spring, and all the memories of the village 
 
 * With the first week after Easter commences the festival of the 
 Krasnaya Gorka, " the red or little bright hill," the term referring to the 
 red colour of the Easter eggs, to the brightness of the spring, and the 
 name " little hill" being given to it because it was originally held or in- 
 augurated on some high place. It lasts from Low Sunday till the end of 
 June, and its chief feature is the khororocl — the circling dance attended by 
 choral song. The chief singer on these occasions is a woman, who holds 
 in her hands a round loaf and a red egg, each an emblem of the sun. 
 Turning her face and hands towards the east, she begins one of these 
 choral songs, which is then taken up by the chorus ; and in many places 
 this is attended or followed by the destruction of the figure of death or 
 winter. Many of the songs are addressed to the goddess of love, the 
 presiding genius of the season, or at least bear reference to her influence ;
 
 278 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 are bound up with it : in my eyes, a custom is a sacred thing, 
 and I am ready to make any sacrifice for its sake," 
 
 " He does not know that, and that is the reason why he has 
 seized the land," said Platon. *' He is a new-comer ; he has 
 only just arrived from Petersburg ; things must be explained 
 and made clear to him." 
 
 " He knows, he knows perfectly well. I sent him woi'd, but 
 he replied impertinently." 
 
 " You will have to go to him yourself, and explain matters. 
 Talk it over with him yourself." 
 
 " No, indeed ! He puts on too many airs altogether. I will 
 not go near him. Go yourself, if you like." 
 
 " I would go were it not for the fact that I have nothing to do 
 with the management of affairs. He might mislead and cheat 
 me." 
 
 " I will go, if you think proper," said Tchitchikoff. 
 
 Vasiliy glanced at our hero and thought, ** This man must 
 be very fond of travelling ! " 
 
 " Only tell me what sort of a person this Lyenitzuin is," 
 pursued Tchitchikoff, " and the scope of the matter."""" 
 
 " I am ashamed to impose so unpleasant a commission on 
 you. In my opinion, the man is a worthless fellow ; he belongs 
 to the petty landed nobility of our government ; he has served 
 his time in Petersburg, having there married some one's ille- 
 gitimate daughter, and acquired a great opinion of himself. He 
 sets the fashion. But people do not live in an utterly stupid 
 way with us. The fashion is no ukaz to our minds, and Peters- 
 burg is not the church." 
 
 " Exactly," said Tchitchikoff; " and what is the point of the 
 business ? " 
 
 " He needs some land, you see. And I would have let him 
 take some other plot for nothing, but not this wild strip. How- 
 ever, he's a quarrelsome fellow, and he thinks that I am 
 frightened." 
 
 " In my opinion, it would be better to talk the matter over. 
 Perhaps you will not repent of it if you intrust the matter to me. 
 General Betrishtcheff also — " 
 
 " But I am ashamed that you should be obliged to talk with 
 such a man." 
 
 " Never mind that ; to-morrow morning I will call upon him, 
 and everything will be settled to your satisfaction. 1 am sure 
 of it." 
 
 and ia some places it is customary to sing tbem under the windows of 
 newly married couples. {W. E. y. Ralston's Sonffs of the Russian People, 
 p. 221.)
 
 LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 279 
 
 On the next day Tchitchikoff called upon Lyenitzuin in a 
 neighbourly way, and informed him that he had purchased 
 KhlobuyofF's estate. Lyenitzuin and Khlobuyoff were relatives, 
 and our hero speedily guessed that chance had brought him to 
 the residence of the man who was desirous of securing the civil- 
 governorship of the town, so as to be near the aunt with the 
 three millions of roubles. He had always known how to ingra- 
 tiate himself Avith her. He was offered a much higher post, he 
 said, but he preferred to remain near the dear relative who had 
 treated him so kindly since his infancy. 
 
 " That is a noble sentiment," said Pavel Ivanovitch. 
 
 Our hero greatly pleased Lyenitzuin, who considered that he 
 had a very intelligent look. Moreover, Tchitchikoff showed 
 himself very respectful and indulgent as regards the persons they 
 talked about, excepting perhaps Khlobuyoff; he also knew a 
 large number of noblemen of that district and the neighbouring 
 ones, and he seemed to be both a skilful business man and 
 gave himself out wealthy, with large connections in society. At 
 last he remarked to Lyenitzuin : 
 
 "It is you, no doubt, who will some day inherit the fortune 
 of Alexandra Ivanovna Khanassaroff, or at least the greater part 
 of it." 
 
 " Those who assert that are in the wrong," replied Lyenit- 
 zuin. " I hear that she has made a will leaving the bulk of her 
 fortune to the convents." 
 
 " How shameful ! The convents are rich enough already. But 
 why not prevail upon her to make a fresh will ? I can't calmly 
 see you disinherited like that. I shall stay some time in the 
 town and obtain an introduction to the venerable Alexandra 
 Ivanovna, and if you like — to oblige you — I will insinuate to her 
 that the convents are rich enough already. Why not draw up 
 a fresh will, nicely put together, which she would only have to 
 sign ? " 
 
 " Oh," said Lyenitzuin ; " I'm afraid she wouldn't sign." 
 
 " Old people are obstinate, I know," rejoined our hero. " But 
 no matter ; since she is going to die, why shouldn't she be made 
 to leave her property to you. Besides, it's only a name to sign ; 
 and in my opinion, as she is so obstinate, why, I should get 
 somebody to sign for her." 
 
 " Hush ! hush ! One moment ! " 
 
 Thereupon, as if a breeze had sprung up and as if Lyenitzuin 
 feared a draught, he rose, drew down the blinds, pulled the cur- 
 tains forward, and cast a glance into the adjoining rooms. Then 
 as he closed the doors again, he contrived to lock them, no doubt
 
 2S0 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 by mistake. Next he and Tchitchikoff indulged in some inti- 
 mate conversation, carried on in so low a tone that not a word 
 of it reached us until Lyenitzuin drew back the curtains and 
 unlocked the doors, then seating himself again on the sofa 
 and offering his hand to our hero, who pressed it affection- 
 ately. 
 
 Said Tchitchikoff: " Only all this must remain secret. It is 
 not so much the crime itself, as the scandal it often creates 
 that proves injurious." 
 
 " That's so, that's so," returned Lyenitzuin, drooping his head 
 completely on one side. 
 
 " How delightful to encounter a similarity of opinion ! " ex- 
 claimed Tchitchikoff. " I am engaged in an affah* which is both 
 legal and illegal : in appearance it is illegal, in reality it is legal. 
 As I need some chattels to mortgage, I do not wish to induce 
 anyone to sell me anything which I might not pay for. If a 
 catastrophe should occur to me, which God forbid ! it would not 
 be pleasant for others ; so I have decided only to acquire sundry 
 fugitive and dead souls, which have not yet been struck off the 
 register, in order, at one and the same time, to benefit myself 
 and to perform a deed of Christian charity by freeing the unfor- 
 tunate proprietors from the necessity of paying the taxes for 
 them. So we merely execute a formal deed of sale between us, 
 as though living serfs were in question." 
 
 *' But all the same, this is a very strange proceeding," thought 
 Lyenitzuin; and he drew his chair back a little. "Yes, the 
 
 transaction is, of a character " he resumed aloud, but he 
 
 could not make up his mind to say anything further. 
 
 " There will be no risk, for it will be kept private," repUed 
 Tchitchikoff, " and, moi-eover, between honourable men " 
 
 " But still, on the whole " 
 
 "It is a perfectly clear transaction, and there is no trickery 
 about it," said Tchitchikoff, with great frankness and directness. 
 " What the nature of the business is, we have just decided ; it 
 lies between honourable men, who have reached years of discre- 
 tion and who are of good understanding apparently. It takes 
 place in private between them." So saying, he looked the other 
 in the eye with a frank and ingenuous expression. 
 
 Clever as Lyenitzuin was, accomplished as he was in all 
 methods of transacting business, he was on this occasion thrown 
 quite out of his calculations ; the more so as he had contrived, 
 in some remarkable manner, to entangle himself in his own net. 
 In reality, he was not at all fitted for dishonesty. 
 
 " This is an extraordinary afiair ! " he said to himself. "Just
 
 LTJXURY AND INDIGENCE. 281 
 
 try to enter into an intimate friendship with the best of men, 
 without repenting of it ! There's a puzzle for you.'' 
 
 However, fate and circumstances seemed to favour Tchitchi- 
 koflf in a special manner. Exactly as though with the object of 
 rendering assistance in this difficult question, the young mistress 
 of the house, Lyenitzuin's wife, entered the room at that mo- 
 ment ; she was thin, pale, and short, but dressed in Petersburg 
 fashion, and was extremely fond of people who were comme ilfaut. 
 Behind her came a nurse, bearing in her arms her first infant, a 
 pledge of the tender love of the recently wedded couple. Tchit- 
 chikotF completely fascinated the Petersburg lady with his little 
 skip, his agile walk, and his trick of inclining his head on one 
 side ; and he captivated the baby also. 
 
 At first the latter set up a yell, but Tchitchikoflf — by dint 
 of the words "Agu, agu, darling!" by tickling it with his 
 finger, and by the beauty of the carnelian seal on his watch — 
 succeeded in enticing the child into his own arms. Then he 
 began to toss it up to the very ceiling, thereby eliciting a pleased 
 laugh, which greatly delighted its parents. But whether from 
 mutual satisfaction, or from some other cause, the infant sud- 
 denly misbehaved himself. 
 
 " Oh heavens ! " exclaimed Lyenitzuin's wife : " he has com- 
 pletely ruined your coat." 
 
 Tchitchikoft' looked. The sleeve of his coat, which was quite 
 new, was utterly spoiled. " I'd like to shoot you, you little 
 devil ! " he said to himself in his wrath. 
 
 The host, the hostess, and the nurse all ran for some eau-de- 
 Cologne, and began to scrub the sleeve in all directions. 
 
 " It's nothing, it's nothing, it's of no consequence whatever," 
 said Tchitchikofi", endeavouring to communicate as cheerful an 
 expression as possible to his countenance. "Is it possible for 
 a child to spoil anything at this golden period of his existence ? " 
 he repeated ; and, at the same time, he said to himself, "You 
 little brute ! I wish the wolves had eaten you : that would 
 suit me to a hair, you cursed little rascal ! ' ' 
 
 This apparently trifling circumstance made the host take a 
 favourable view of Tchitchikofl''s business. How could he refuse 
 anything to a guest who had bestowed so many innocent ca- 
 resses on the baby, and who had so magnanimously paid for 
 them at the cost of his own coat ! 
 
 " Permit me, then, to repay your service," said our hero, 
 "with another one. I wish to act as mediator in your aflair 
 with the Platonoft' brothers. You want some land, do you not? " 
 
 Then Tchitchikoff entered into a long explanation as regards
 
 282 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 the strip of soil which Lyenitzuin had appropriated, and he 
 prevailed upon him to restore it to the Platonoffs in exchange 
 for some other land. This matter being settled, Tchitchikoff 
 took leave of Lyenitzuin and returned to make his report to 
 Vasiliy. With his usual tactics, moreover, he prevailed upon 
 the latter to sell him some dead souls ; and then, PlatonofF 
 having fallen ill, so that he could not resume his travels, our 
 hero set off alone, his friend Tentyotnikoff having in the mean- 
 while sent hrm his britschka, which had been left with General 
 Betrishtcheflf. 
 
 Upon reaching the town he made various arrangements 
 respecting the purchase of Khlobuyoff 's estate. However, in lieu 
 of giving another fifteen thousand roubles in cash, he displayed 
 a variety of deeds which seemed to indicate that he possessed 
 large means. He wished to realise, he said, and accordingly 
 ofi'ered his bill at four months' date to Khlobuyoff, who at first 
 demurred to the proposal, declaring that he required ready 
 money. However, as all the persons summoned to serve as 
 witnesses to the deed of sale, and the officials also, spoke in 
 Pavel Ivanovitch's favour, Khlobuyoff" feared lest he might 
 appear unreasonable, and finally he accepted the promissory 
 note and signed the deed of sale as if he had received full 
 payment. 
 
 Meanwhile Tchitchikoff" had secured, through Lyenitzuin, an 
 introduction to Alexandra Ivanovna, the wealthy aunt, and he 
 so ingratiated himself in her favour that at last she could do 
 nothing without consulting him. Still he failed in his eff"orts to 
 persuade her to make a new will. Three months, moreover, 
 went by without Khlobuyoff" being paid and without Tchitchikoff" 
 showing any disposition to raise a loan in view of meeting his 
 promissory note. Then suddenly a report was circulated that 
 Pavel Ivanovitch was negotiating the secret sale of the estate, 
 and people were puzzled as to what game he could be playing. 
 A traveller who, on passing through the city, dined one day 
 with the colonel of police, remarked to him in the course of 
 conversation, " I hear that the famous Tchitchikoff" is staying 
 here. You are aware, I suppose, that he is journeying through 
 Eussia, buying up all the landowners' dead serfs, with an object 
 one can readily guess." This remark was repeated on all sides, 
 and it finally reached the ears of the military governor, just at 
 the time, too, when the latter heard that Alexandra Ivanovna, 
 the wealthy lady, had died, and that seals had been affixed in 
 her house to all the articles of furniture in which she might 
 have secreted either any valuables or a will. People pretended
 
 LUXURY AND INDIGENCE. 283 
 
 that tlie old lady's demise had only been reported forty-eight 
 hours after its occurrence ; and, moreover, it was insinuated 
 that our hero alone could tell in Avhat manner she had died, as 
 he had been hovering around her till the very last, ordering the 
 servants about as if they had been his own. 
 
 Similar remarks are very often made when wealthy people 
 die ; still, the military governor, without believing in a crime, 
 considered that the reports which had reached his ears warranted 
 his summoning Tchitchikofi' before him. He suspected him, at 
 least, of culpable intriguing, and, wishing to try him, he ordered 
 him, in genuine Russian fashion, to leave the town within 
 forty-eight hours. Tchitchikoff, who had feared something 
 worse, at once felt relieved ; he spoke, and spoke so well, that 
 everything, even those atx'ocious reports, seemed to militate in 
 his favour. He modestly called his excellency's attention to 
 the fact that such an abrupt departure would not only throw 
 his own affairs into confusion, but would prove extremely pre- 
 judicial to the honourable people with whom he had business 
 connections. Finally he was authorised to remain in the city 
 as long as he pleased, but on conditions that he conducted 
 himself properly, and in such a way as not to give rise to any 
 more scandalous reports. 
 
 "Prince ! " retorted our hero, "I have heard it said, and I 
 believe it true, that it would be easier to stay the waters of the 
 Dnieper or the Volga than the tongues of chatterers in a little 
 town." 
 
 He then came forth from this audience possessed of more 
 assurance than formerly ; and he did not hide his contempt for 
 the scandal-mongers who for a few hours had believed that he 
 was seriously compromised. 
 
 Soon afterwards Khlobuyoff received the fifteen thousand 
 roubles remaining due to him for his estate ; and he was seen 
 walking beside Tchitchikoff at the pompous funeral of the 
 wealthy aunt, whose obsequies were defrayed by Lyenitzuin. 
 On the day when the seals were removed from the residence of 
 the deceased a will was found, and all interested parties were 
 summoned by the authorities to hear it read. Lyenitzuin, de- 
 tained no doubt by the cares of office, did not come until late ; 
 and when the perusal of the will was over he received with cold 
 dignity the congratulations of the people present. He was 
 appointed universal legatee, various small legacies being be- 
 queathed to Khlobuyoff, to two lady companions, a couple 
 of poor cousins, and a shrine in the neighbourhood. The poor 
 relations called Lyenitzuin's attention to the fact that five or six
 
 284 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 coffers, a jewel case, and some sixty pieces of gold and silver 
 plate were missing ; but Lyefiitzuin, upon hearing this, merely 
 smiled and shrugged his shoulders. He was no doubt fully 
 aware as to where the missing articles had gone. 
 
 CHAPTEE XVI. 
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, A LAWYER, AND A HOLY MAN. 
 
 Everything in the world has a use of its own. " Whoever de- 
 sires a thing makes an effort to obtain it," says the proverb. The 
 expedition through the old lady's trunks had been successfully 
 achieved ; and as a result, some things had found their way into 
 Tchitchikoff's dressing-case. In short, it had been wisely 
 planned. Tchitchikoff had not exactly been guilty of theft, but 
 he had taken advantage of circumstances. All of us have taken 
 advantage at times, in one manner or another — one, of the 
 forests belonging to the crown ; another, of someone's savings ; 
 one man will steal from his children for the sake of some 
 itinerant actress ; another, from his peasants, for the sake of 
 buying furniture or equipages. What can one do, when so 
 many enticements exist in the world — expensive restaurants 
 with mad prices, and masquerades, and drives and dances with 
 the gipsies ? Surely, one cannot always restrain one's self : 
 man is not God. Thus Tchitchikoff, like a very great many 
 people who are fond of every comfort, turned matters to his own 
 advantage. 
 
 Tchitchikoff ought now to have left the town, but the roads 
 had become bad. In the meantime, another fair had begun in 
 the town, a genuine aristocratic fair. The first one had been 
 more for horses, cattle, and raw products, and divers peasant 
 manufactures, purchased by drovers and by wholesale dealers. 
 But now, everything which had been purchased at the Nizhego- 
 rod fair, high-class wares of every description, had been brought 
 here. Those raiders on the Russian purse, the French, had 
 brought pomades, while French women had brought bonnets — 
 those women who are Egyptian locusts, as Kostauzhoglo 
 expressed it, and who, not content with devouring everything, 
 leave their eggs behind them, buried in the earth. 
 
 The bad state of the crops had detained some landowners in the
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 285 
 
 country. On the other hand, the officials who had not suffered 
 from the bad crops turned out in force ; so did their wives, to 
 their misfortune. Having read many of those books which have 
 been disseminated of late with the object of inoculating man- 
 kind with all sorts of novel requirements, they had conceived 
 a most extraordinary thirst for all manner of new enjoy- 
 ments. A Frenchman had opened a novel establishment, of a 
 sort hitherto unheard of in that government — a pleasure- 
 garden,* with a supper at what purported to be a remarkably 
 low price, the half of it being allowed to remain on credit, to 
 boot. This was sufficient to induce not only all the heads 
 of departments, but all the clerks, to visit it, in the expec- 
 tation of future bribes from petitioners. A desire to show off in 
 each other's presence in the matter of horses and equipages 
 sprang up. There was a great elbowing of different classes for 
 the sake of diversion. In spite of the wretched weather, with 
 mingled snow and rain, elegant calashes flew up and down. 
 Where they all came from, God only knows, but they would not 
 have done discredit to Petersburg itself. Merchants and clerks 
 raised their hats adroitly, and invited the ladies to enter. 
 Bearded traders in fur caps were rarely to be seen. Every- 
 thing wore a European look. 
 
 Tchitchikoff, in a new Persian dressing-gown of gold brocade, 
 was lolling on a divan, and chaffering with an itinerant smuggler- 
 pedlar of Jewish extraction and German accent : and before 
 him lay a piece of the finest cambric, which he had purchased 
 for shirts, and two cardboard boxes of the finest soap, possessed 
 of the most desirable qualities. This was the very same sort of 
 soap which he had formerly been in the habit of obtaining when 
 employed in the custom-house at Eadziwill. It really did 
 possess the property of imparting a wonderful softness and 
 whiteness to the cheeks. At the very moment when he, in the 
 character of a connoisseur, was making his purchases of these 
 articles, which are indispensable to a well-bred man, the rumble 
 of an approaching carriage became audible, together with the 
 slight answering rattle of the walls and windows of the apart- 
 ment, and his excellency Alexei Ivanovitch Lyenitzuin entered. 
 
 "I submit to your excellency's judgment this cambric, 
 this soap, and this cap, which I purchased yesterday," said 
 Tchitchikoff, while he placed on his head a cap embroidered 
 with gold and pearl beads, and felt full of dignity and grandeur 
 in his character of a Persian shah. 
 
 * A Vauxhall, literally.
 
 286 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 But his excellency, without vouchsafing any reply to our 
 hero, said with a troubled look, " I must have a talk with you 
 on business matters." Anxiety and uneasiness were depicted 
 on his countenance. The worthy merchant with a German 
 accent was instantly dismissed, and they were left alone. 
 
 "Do you know what disagreeable thing has happened ? 
 Another will by that old woman, executed five years ago, has 
 been found. She bequeaths half of her property to a monastery, 
 and the other half, in equal shares, to her two companions." 
 
 TchitchikoflF was taken aback. 
 
 " But that will is — nonsense ! It signifies nothing. It is 
 set aside by the second one," said he. 
 
 " But it is not stated in the second will that the former one 
 is thereby annulled." 
 
 "That is taken for granted. The first is annulled by the 
 last. This is folly. The first will is utterly void. I am well 
 acquainted with the wishes of the deceased. I was with her. 
 Who signed this other will ? Who were the witnesses ? " 
 
 " It was duly witnessed in court. The witnesses were the 
 ex-judge Burmiloff, and Khavanoff"." 
 
 " That's bad," thought Tchitchikofi'. " Khavanoflf is said to 
 be an honest man. As for Burmiloflf he is a venerable hypocrite, 
 who reads the Apostles in church on festival days. But 
 nonsense ! nonsense ! " he said aloud, and he immediately felt 
 sufficient firmness to face anything. " I know better than that. 
 I was present at the last moments of the dead woman's life. I 
 know all about it better than anybody else. I am ready to take 
 my personal oath." 
 
 These words and his air of decision for the moment reassured 
 Lyenitzuin. The latter was very much excited, and had begun 
 to suspect that there might have been some sort of fraud on 
 Tchitchikofi''s part in connection with the will. He now re- 
 proached himself for his suspicions. Tchitchikotf's readiness to 
 take his oath was a plain indication of the reverse. We do not 
 know whether Pavel Ivanovitch would actually have had the 
 audacity to take his oath on the Gospel ; but, at all events, he 
 was audacious enough to say that he would. 
 
 " Make yourself easy on that score," he added. " I will con- 
 sult a lawyer on this matter. Nothing must be attributed to 
 you. You must keep entirely clear of this affair. But I can 
 stay in the town as long as it suits me." 
 
 Tchitchikoflf immediately ordered his carriage to be brought 
 to the door, and betook himself to a lawyer's. This lawyer was 
 ^ man of extraordinary experience. He had fallen under the
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAAVYER. 287 
 
 jurisdiction of the court fifteen years previously, but be had so 
 managed that it bad been utterly impossible to prevent bim 
 practising his profession. Everybody was perfectly well aware 
 of the fact that he had deserved transportation half a dozen 
 times. He was suspected to the last degree in every quarter, 
 but it was impossible to produce plain and convincing proofs. 
 There really was something uncanny about him, and he might 
 have been boldly proclaimed as a wizard if the history which we 
 are transcribing referred to an uncivilised epoch. 
 
 The lawyer amazed Tchitchikoft" by the coolness of his de- 
 meanour and the filthiness of his dressing-gown, which presented 
 a complete contrast to the handsome mahogany furniture, 
 the gilt clock under a glass shade, the chandelier which peeped 
 forth from the chintz cover protecting it, and all the other 
 objects which surrounded him, and which bore the stamp of 
 European civilisation. 
 
 Nothing daunted, however, by the dubious appearance of the 
 lawyer, Tchitchikoff explained the perplexing points of the 
 matter in hand, and sketched a seductive perspective of the 
 gratitude which would infallibly follow sound counsel and 
 assistance. 
 
 The jurisconsult replied to this with allusions to the transitory 
 character of all earthly things, and Avith much art he allowed it 
 to be understood that a stork in the heavens signified nothing 
 with him providing he had a tomtit in the hand. 
 
 There was help for it : the tomtit for the hand had to 
 be provided. Then the dubious coolness of the philosopher 
 suddenly vanished. He turned out to be the most good-natured 
 of men, extremely communicative and agreeable in conversation, 
 and not a whit inferior in cleverness to Tchitchikofl' himself. 
 
 " Permit me to say to you, instead of entering into a long- 
 winded talk, that you certainly cannot have examined the last 
 will thoroughly. It assuredly contains some codicil. Get it into 
 your possession as speedily as possible. Although, of course, it 
 is forbidden to take such things home with one, still, if certain 
 
 officials are appealed to in the proper way I will render 
 
 assistance on my part." 
 
 " I understand," thought Tchitcbikofi"; and he said, " I really 
 cannot distinctly recall whether there was a codicil or not " — 
 just as though he had not written the will himself. 
 
 " The very best thing that you can do will be to look it over. 
 Besides, in any case," the lawyer continued in an amiable way, 
 "you must feel quite at your ease ; and you must not take alarm 
 at anything, even if matters seem to be going very badly. Never
 
 288 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 despair of anything under any circumstances whatever. There 
 is nothing which cannot be remedied. Look at me. I am always 
 tranquil. No matter what critical accusations are brought 
 against me, my composure remains immovable." The face of 
 the lawyer-philosopher did, in point of fact, retain a remarkably 
 tranquil look, which was very re-assuring to Tchitchikoff. 
 
 "That is, of course, a matter of the greatest moment; but 
 3'ou must acknowledge, nevertheless, that occasions may arise 
 of such a nature, that an attack on the part of one's enemies may 
 be of such a description, and that there may occur difficult 
 situations of such a sort that all composure is put to flight." 
 
 " That is cowardice, believe me," rejoined the philosophical 
 lawyer with great composure and amiability. " Only try to have 
 all transactions set down on paper, and have nothing left to 
 talk alone. And as soon as you perceive that the aflair is 
 approaching a solution, and that it is ripe for settlement, do not 
 endeavour to justify and defend yourself, but simply try to intro- 
 duce some fresh issues which have no connection with the case." 
 
 " That is with the object of doing what ? " 
 
 " Producing confusion, producing confusion, nothing more : 
 you must introduce side issues, extraneous circumstances, into 
 this case, so that other people may become involved in it ; the 
 object is to render the matter complicated, neither more nor 
 less. And then let some freshly arrived oflicial from Petersburg 
 unravel it, let him unravel it if he can ! " the sagacious lawyer 
 repeated, looking Tchitchikoff straight in the eye with extra- 
 ordinary satisfaction, just as a teacher contemplates a pupil 
 when he is explaining to him some treacherous passage in the 
 Piussian grammar. 
 
 " And it will be as well for you to collect such items as are 
 calculated to throw dust in people's eyes," said Tchitchikoff, also 
 gazing with satisfaction into the eyes of the philosopher, like a 
 pupil who has understood his teacher's exposition of a deceptive 
 passage. 
 
 " Such items will be provided, they will be provided. Believe 
 me, the brain grows inventive by dint of frequent practice. You 
 will gain a great deal by complicating matters ; and we must 
 have as many officials mixed up in it as possible, and their fees 
 must be handsome. In short, as many persons as possible must 
 be drawn into the business. There is no necessity of sacrificing 
 other people for nothing, but we must justify ourselves by means 
 of them, and they must be responsible on paper. They must 
 buy themselves off. There's a harvest for you ! In this manner 
 you can complicate and entangle matters, so that no one can
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AKD A LAWYER. 289 
 
 understand anything about them. Why am I so calm ? Because 
 I know this : when my aftairs are going very badly I get every- 
 one implicated in them — the governor and the vice-govei'nor, 
 and the chief of police and the treasurer — I get every one of 
 them involved. I know all their circumstances — just who has a 
 quarrel with whom, and who is otiended with whom, and who 
 wants to revenge himself on whom. Then let them extricate 
 themselves if they can : others can be found to replace them. 
 It is only in troubled waters that fish are caught." 
 
 Here the philosopher-lawyer stared at Tchitchikoff with all 
 his eyes, and again it was with satisfaction similar to that 
 "with which a teacher expounds a treacherous passage in the 
 Russian grammar to his pupil. 
 
 "Yes, this man is truly wise," said Tchitchikoff to himself; 
 and he took leave of the jurisconsult in the most amiable and 
 agreeable frame of mind. 
 
 Perfectly reassured, he flung himself with careless grace on 
 the elastic cushions of his calash. Then he ordered Selifan to 
 throw the hood back (he had gone to the lawyer with the hood 
 raised, and even with the apron buttoned up), and assumed the 
 exact attitude of a retired colonel of hussars, or of Vishnepo- 
 kromoff himself, throwing one leg gracefully over the other, and 
 pleasantly presenting to all who met him a face which fairly 
 beamed from beneath a new silk hat, tilted somewhat on one 
 side. Selifan was ordered to drive in the direction of the bazaar. 
 The merchants, both those belonging to the town and the 
 strangers, took off their hats respectfully as they stood at the 
 doors of their shops ; and Tchitchikoff, not without dignity, 
 raised his hat in return. 
 
 Many of them were already acquainted with him ; others, 
 although strangers, were captivated with the attractive appear- 
 ance of a gentleman who so well understood how to bear himself, 
 and they greeted him as though they knew him. The fair in the 
 city of Tfuslavl had not yet come to an end : the horse and agri- 
 cultural fair had closed, and that which embraced fine wares for 
 gentlemen of the highest breeding had opened. The merchants 
 who had arrived on wheels had made up their minds not to 
 return except on runners. 
 
 " Pray enter, sir, pray enter, sir ! " said the man at the cloth- 
 shop, striking a politely affected attitude as he stood with his 
 head bare, in a German surtout of Moscow make, and holding 
 his hat in one hand while with two fingers of the other ho 
 stroked his round, cleanly shaven chin ; at the same time dis- 
 playing an expression of dainty refinement on his face. 
 
 T
 
 290 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 TcMtcliikoff entered the shop. " Show me some cloth, my 
 good fellow," said he. 
 
 The amiable merchant immediately lifted a loose board in the 
 counter ; and having thus made an entrance for himself, he 
 found himself inside his shop, with his back to his goods and 
 his face to his customer. Then, with uncovered head and 
 flourishing his hat, he saluted Tchitchikofl' once more. Then 
 he put on his hat, and, bending gracefully forwards with both 
 hands resting on the counter, he spoke thus : " "What sort of 
 cloth, sir ? Do you prefer it of English make, or of domestic 
 manufacture ? " 
 
 "Of domestic manufacture," replied Tchitchikoflf; "but it 
 must be of the best quality, of the sort called English." 
 
 "What colours would you like to look at?" inquired the 
 shopman, still swaying too and fro, with his hands still resting 
 on the counter. 
 
 " Of an olive or bottle-green tint, or else cranberry colour," 
 said Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " I may assert that you shall have the very best sort, than 
 which no better is to be found except in enlightened capitals. 
 Boy, fetch the cloth with number 34 upstairs. That's not it, 
 my friend. No , fetch the other ! Why do you always feel 
 yourself above your station, you penniless scamp ? Throw 
 that here. Yes, here is the very cloth." And unfolding it from 
 the other end, the shopman lifted it almost to Tchitchikofi''s 
 very nose, so that our hero could not only feel its silky gloss 
 with his hand, but even smell it. 
 
 "Very good, but that is not what I want," said Tchitchikoff. 
 " I have served in the custom-house service, you see, so I must 
 have the very finest quality ; and it must also be of a reddish 
 tint, with rather a cranberry tinge." 
 
 " I understand, sir : what you really want is the shade which 
 is now coming into fashion. I have some other cloths of the very 
 best quality. I warn you that the price is high, but they are 
 of the very finest quality." 
 
 Then he climbed up to reach some cloth from a shelf. The 
 piece fell down. He unrolled it with the art of a bygone age, 
 and even forgot for the moment that he belonged to a later 
 generation as he held it to the light, even emerging from his shop 
 to do so, screwing up his eyes as he faced the light, and saying, 
 " 'Tis the most exquisite shade of cloth, Navarino smoke-tint 
 and flame-colour." 
 
 The cloth was satisfactory; the price was agreed to, although 
 it was with " a prefix," as the dealer declared. Then a clever 
 
 i
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIll, AND A LAWYER. 291 
 
 tearing movement was executed with both hands. Finally it was 
 enveloped in paper in the Russian fashion, with incredible swift- 
 ness. The bundle was then encircled with a slender cord, 
 which clasped it with a knot which palpitated with life. Next 
 the cord was snipped off with some shears, and the whole placed 
 in the calash. 
 
 " Show me some black cloth," now rang out a voice in the 
 shop, 
 
 " Here's Khlobuyoff, deuce take him ! " said Tchitchikoff to 
 himself, and he turned his back that he might not see the other; 
 for ho considered it ill-bred on the latter's part to enter into any 
 explanation with him in regard to the inheritance. But Khlo- 
 buyoff had already espied him. 
 
 "How is this, Pavel Ivanovitch ? Are you avoiding me in- 
 tentionally ? I am never able to find you, although there are 
 some matters which we must discuss seriously." 
 
 " My most respected sir, my most respected sir," said Tchi- 
 tchikoff, squeezing his hand, " believe me, I am extremely 
 desirous of having a talk with you; but I really have no time." 
 And he said to himself, " May the Devil fly away with you ! " 
 when all at once, he saw Murazoff, the wealthy farmer of the 
 brandy revenues, entering the shop. "Ah, my heavens, Afanaisy 
 Vasilievitch! " said Tchitchikoff; "this is a fortunate encounter!" 
 
 Then Vishnepokromoff, who entered after him, repeated, 
 " Afanasiy Vasilievitch ! " And the well-bred shopman, holding 
 his hat as far from his head as his arm would allow, and bend- 
 ing his whole body forward, exclaimed, "Your most humble 
 servant, Afanasiy Vasilievitch!" All their faces exhibited that 
 dog-like servility which sinful man shows to a millionaire. 
 
 Old Muzaroff bowed to all of them, and turned directly to 
 Khlobuyoff. " Excuse me : having seen you from a distance 
 entering this shop, I decided to trouble you. If you are at 
 liberty, and if your way lies past my house, do me the favour 
 to come in for a short time. I must speak with you." 
 
 Khlobuyoff replied "Very well, Afanasiy Vasilievitch." 
 
 " What very beautiful weather we are having, Afanasiy Vasi- 
 lievitch," said Tchitchikoff." 
 
 "Yes, are we not," interposed Vishnepokromoff. "It is 
 quite unusual, surely." 
 
 " Yes, sir, thank God, it is not bad. But a little rain is re 
 quired to allow of sowing." 
 
 "It is very, very much needed," responded Vishnepokro- 
 moff. " And it would be well for the hunting season also." 
 
 "Yes, a shower would do no harm, "^chimed in Tchitchikoff,
 
 292 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 who did not need any rain at all ; but for some reason or otlier it 
 is always pleasant to agree with a man who possesses 
 millions. 
 
 "My head simply grows dizzy," said Tchitchikoff, when 
 Murazoflf went out, "at the thought that that man owns ten 
 millions. It is simply incredible." 
 
 " The thing is monstrous," s^id Yishnepokrom qff. " Capital 
 ought not to be in the hands of a few.""" This fs no~w the subject 
 of treatises in every country of Europe. If you have any 
 money, share it with your neighbour ; entertain, give balls, in- 
 dulge in beneficent luxury, which furnishes food to artisans 
 and handicraftsmen." 
 
 " I cannot understand it," said Tchitchikofi'. " Ten millions, 
 and he lives like a simple moujik ! The deuce only knows 
 what might be done with those ten millions ! It might be so 
 employed that you would have no society lower than that of 
 generals and princes." 
 
 "Yes, sir," added the shopman. " With all Afanasiy Vasilie- 
 ^vitch's fine qualities, there is much that is uncnltivarteTi~a"bout 
 himT" If a merchant acquires honours he is no longer a mer- 
 chant : he is already after a fashion a wholesale dealer. In 
 those circumstances I should feel bound to take a box at the 
 theatre, and I would not marry my daughter to a simple 
 colonel: no, sir, I would wed her to a general. What's a 
 colonel to me ? And my dinner would be prepared by the con- 
 fectioner, and not by the cook any longer." 
 
 "Well, what's the use of talking? Pray cease all this," 
 said Vishnepokromofi". " What couldn't one do with ten 
 millions ? Only give me ten millions, and you would see what 
 I would do ! " 
 
 " No, no," thought Tchitchikoff : " much good you would do 
 with ten millions. But if I only had ten millions, I would 
 really accomplish something proper with them." 
 
 "Ah! if I had ten millions, after all these terrible experi- 
 ences," said Khlobuyofif to himself. " Experience teaches one the 
 value of every copeck. Eh ! I am not now as I was." And 
 after a moment's thought, he asked himself, ''Would you really 
 know how to manage your affairs now ?" Then, with a wave 
 of his hand he added, " What the deuce ! I believe that I should 
 squander it now exactly as I did before ! " And he quitted the 
 shop, burning with curiosity to know what Murazoflf had to say 
 to him. 
 
 "I am waiting for you, Semyon Semyonovitch," said Mura- 
 ^ofi" to Khlobuyoflf, as he entered the house. " Please come to
 
 TWO AVIIXS, FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 233 
 
 my room." And be then led Khlobuyoff into bis private room, 
 and wbicb M'cas no more comfortable tban that of an oliicial wbo 
 received a paltr}' salary of some six or seven bnndred roubles a 
 year. 
 
 "Pray tell me : I suppose 3'ou are in a little better circum- 
 stances now ? You have surely received something, nov/ that 
 your aunt is dead ? " 
 
 "What am I to say to you, Afanasiy Vasilievitch ? I do 
 not know whether my circumstances are improved or not. I 
 have received thirty thousand roubles, with which I must pay 
 off a portion of my debts ; and beyond that I have nothing 
 whatever. But the principal point is that things are not just 
 as they should be in connection with that will. There has 
 been some rascality about it, Afanasiy Vasilievitch. I will tell 
 you about it directly, and you Avill be amazed that such a trans- 
 action could take place. That Tchitchikoff — " 
 
 "Excuse me, Semyon Semyonovitch; before talking of 
 Tchitchikoff, permit me to speak about yourself. Tell me how 
 much, according to your calculations, would be sufficient to set 
 your affairs entirely to rights ? " 
 
 " My affairs are in a very perplexing state," answered Khlo- 
 buyoff. " In order to straighten them out, pay off my debts, 
 and be in a condition to live in the most modest manner, I 
 should need one hundred thousand roubles, if not more." 
 
 " And if you had that, how would you order your life ? " 
 
 " Well, I should take some inexpensive lodgings, and occupy 
 myself with the education of my children. There is no use in 
 thinking of myself; my career is ended, I am no longer good 
 for anything." 
 
 " But your life will in that case remain an idle one ; and in 
 an idle life temptations arise which a man would never dream 
 of when busy with work." 
 
 "I cannot; I am good for nothing; I have grown stupid 
 and my loins pain me." 
 
 " But how can one live without work '? How can one exist 
 in the world without duties, without a place of one's own, 
 praj'' ? Look at every one of God's creatures i Every one of 
 them has some service to perform, is of some use. Even a 
 stone is created for use ; and man, the most intelligent being 
 of them all — is it possible that he should remain useless ? " 
 
 " But I shall not be without occupation, I can attend to 
 the education of my children." 
 
 " No, Semyon Semyonovitch, that is the hardest thing of all. 
 How can you educate your children when you are not educated
 
 294 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 yourself? You can educate your children by the example of 
 your own life. But is your life a fitting example for them ? Is 
 it well to teach them, for instance, to pass their time in idle- 
 ness and in card-playing ? No, Semyon Semyonovitch, give 
 your children to me to take care of: you will spoil them. 
 Think seriously of this matter : idleness has been your ruin 
 — you must flee from it. How can you live in the world with- 
 out attaching yourself to anything ? Some duty must be ful- 
 filled. Even a day-labourer serves a use. He eats coarse 
 bread, but he earns it; and he takes an interest in his 
 occupation," 
 
 " By heavens, Afanasiy Vasilievitch, I have tried, I have 
 really made an efi'ort to conquer myself ! What am I to do ? 
 I have grown old, I have become unfitted for anything. Now, 
 what can I do ? Shall I enter the service ? But how am I, at 
 my age, to sit at one desk with the ofiice-clerks who 
 have just begun theu- career ? Besides, I am incapable of 
 accepting bribes ; and hence I hinder my own advancement, 
 and injure others. And they have their castes already formed, 
 No, Afanasiy Vasilievitch, I have reflected, and I have tried, 
 and I have meditated on all sorts of situations — and I am 
 unfitted for any one of them. In the almshouse, perhaps," 
 
 " The almshouse is for those who have toiled ; but to those 
 who have passed their youth in merriment, one gives the answer 
 which the ant gave to the grasshopper, * Go, dance ! ' And those 
 who live in the almshouse work also, and toil, and do not play 
 at whist. Semyon Semyonovitch, you are deceiving both your- 
 self and family." 
 
 So saying, Murazoff" gazed intently into the other man's face ; 
 but poor Khlobuyoff could make no reply. Murazoff" felt sorry 
 for him, 
 
 " Listen, Semyon Semyonovitch," he resumed. " Surely you 
 pray when you enter a church ; you miss neither mass nor ves- 
 pers, that I know. Although you do not like to rise early, still 
 you do it, and you go — yes, you go to church at four o'clock in 
 the morning, when no one else is up." 
 
 " That's another thing, Afanasiy Vasilievitch. I know that I 
 am not doing that for man, but for Him who has commanded us 
 all to exist on earth. But what of that ? I believe that He is 
 merciful to me ; that, no matter how wretched and vile I may 
 be. He will pardon and receive me when men repulse me with 
 their feet, and when my best friend betrays me, and pretends 
 that he betrayed me with a beneficent aim." 
 
 A look of bitterness came over Khlobuyoflf's countenance ; and
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 295 
 
 Murazoflf held his peace for a moment, as though to allow him 
 to recover himself. Then he said, " Why do not you accept 
 some duties, but not for the sake of man or for the gratifica- 
 tion of society "? Serve Him who is so merciful. Work is well- 
 pleasing in His sight, as well as prayer. Engage in some occu- 
 pation, but undertake it as though you were doing it for His 
 sake, and not for that of man. Come, now, if you do but draw 
 water in a sieve, just think that you are doing it for His sake. 
 You will derive at least this profit from it — that you will have 
 no time left to lose money at cards, to feast with parasites, 
 and lounge your life away. Eh, Semyon Semyonovitch ! Do 
 you know Ivan Potapuich ? " 
 
 " I know him, and respect him very deeply." 
 
 " Well, he was formerly a prosperous merchant. He had half 
 a million. Everything which he looked at turned to profit, and 
 he launched into large expenditure. He began to have his son 
 taught French, and he married his daughter to a general. And 
 wherever he encountered a friend, whether in a shop or in the 
 street of the exchange, he would drag him into a tavern ; he 
 feasted thus for days at a time, and finally became bankrupt. 
 And then God sent a calamity upon him : his son died. And 
 now, do you see '? he is a clerk in my employ. He has made a 
 fresh start. His afi"airs have righted themselves. He might 
 again enter trade on a basis of five hundred thousand roubles. 
 ' I have been a clerk, and as a clerk I wish to die. Now,' he 
 says, * I have become healthy and fresh ; but formerly I had the 
 bellyache, and dropsy was beginning to attack me. No more 
 of it ! ' says he. And he never tastes tea now ; all he eats is 
 cabbage soup and oatmeal porridge — yes, sir. And he prays as 
 not one of the rest of us does, and he helps the poor as none of 
 the rest of us do. And I should be glad to assist another man 
 who has squandered his money." 
 
 Poor Klilobuyofi" became thoughtful. 
 
 The other man took him by both hands. " Semyon Semyono- 
 vitch," said he, " if you only knew how sorry I am for you ! I 
 think of you constantly. Now listen to me. You are aware 
 that, in the monastery, there is a hermit whom no one sees. 
 This man is possessed of great wisdom — of more wisdom, sir, 
 than anyone whom I know. Now, he can give proper advice. 
 I once began to tell him that I had a certain friend — but I will 
 not mention his name — and that he was sufi"ering from such and 
 such a cause. He began by listening to my talk ; but all at 
 once he interrupted me with the words, * God's business takes 
 the precedence of your own. There are churches to be built.
 
 296 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 and there is no money to do it ; money must be collected for 
 the churches ! ' And then he clapped to the door. * What does 
 that mean ? ' I thought to myself. Evidently he did not mean 
 to impart any advice,' so I went to our archimandrite. No sooner 
 had I entered the door, than the first words he addressed to me 
 were in the form of an inquiry : did not I know of some man to 
 whom could be intrusted the task of making a collection for the 
 churches ? He must belong to the gentry or merchant class, 
 must be better educated than the average, and must regard the 
 work as his salvation. I instantly paused. ' Ah, good heavens ! 
 why, the hermit meant to designate Semyon Semyonovitch for 
 this task ! The remedy is adapted to his disease. By dint of 
 going about with a book under his arm, from landed proprietor 
 to peasant, from peasant to petty tradesman, he will learn how 
 each class lives, and who stands in need of what — so that when 
 he returns, after having made the tour of several governments, 
 he will understand the ground and the country far better than 
 all the people who dwell in towns.' And such men are needed 
 now. Here a certain prince informs me that he would give a 
 great deal to get hold of a man who really knows affairs, not 
 from papers, but as they really are ; for, as he says, nothing 
 can be gathered from papers, everything is so involved." 
 
 " You have utterly confused and overcome me, Afanasiy 
 Vasilievitch," said Khlobuyoff, as he gazed in amazement at Mur- 
 azoff. " I actually cannot believe that you are saying this to 
 me. For your purpose you require an active man, of un- 
 wearied energy ; and moreover, how can I desert my wife and 
 children ? " 
 
 " You must feel no anxiety with regard to your wife and chil- 
 dren. I take them under my own protection, and teachers shall 
 be provided for the childi'en. If you are willing to go about 
 with double pouches, begging alms for yourself, it is much 
 more noble to do so for God. I will give you a simple kibitka : 
 do not be afraid of being jolted;- it will be of benefit to your 
 health. I will furnish you with money for the journey, so that, 
 as you go along, you may give to those who stand most in need 
 of it. In this way you can do a great deal of good. You must 
 make no mistake ; those to whom you give must be worthy 
 persons. By travelling about in this manner, you will make the 
 acquaintance of every sort of individual, and you will learn how 
 each one lives. This is not the same thing as being an official 
 whom everyone fears, but in your case, knowing that you are 
 collecting for the Church, they will talk freely." 
 
 ** I perceive that it is a very beautiful scheme, and I should bo
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 297 
 
 very glad to have a share in it ; hut it really seems to me as 
 though it were heyoud my powers." 
 
 " Well, what is within your powers ? " said Murazoff. " There 
 is nothing within our powers ; everything is beyond our powers. 
 Nothing is possible without aid from on high. Prayer concen- 
 trates the faculties. A man crosses himself, and says, ' Lord, 
 have mercy ! ' then he rows on, and reaches the shore. One 
 must not pause long to think of this ; it is merely necessary 
 to cling blindly to God. The kibitka will be ready for you 
 immediately ; and you must run to the father archimandrite 
 for the book and his blessing, and then set out on your 
 journey." 
 
 " I will obey you, and I will accept this as the command of 
 God ; and may the Lord give me his blessing ! " thought Khlo- 
 buyoff, as he felt strength and alertness beginning to permeate 
 his soul. His very brain seemed to be stimulated with the 
 hope of escape from his sad and inextricable predicament. 
 Light began to glimmer in the distance. 
 
 " And now, permit me to ask you," said Murazoff, " what sort 
 of a man is that Tchitchikoff ? " 
 
 "I can tell you incredible things about Tchitchikoff. Ho is 
 engaged in such transactions — well, do you know, Afanasiy 
 Vasilievitch, that will was certainly forged ? The real one has 
 been found — one in which my aunt bequeaths all the property 
 to her lady companions, whom she brought up." 
 
 " You don't say so ! Then, who fabricated the forged 
 will ? " 
 
 " That is the very point, and a most revolting business it is. 
 They say that Tchitchikoff did it, and that the will was signed 
 after the testator's death. They dressed up some woman to 
 represent the dead woman, and that person signed it. In short, 
 the affair is of the most rascally description. A thousand appeals 
 have poured in from all quarters ; wooers are now flocking to 
 Marya Yeremyevna, who personated the deceased. Lideedtwo 
 official personages are now quarrelling over her. That's the sort 
 of a business it is, Afanasiy Vasilievitch." 
 
 " I have heard nothing about this, but there really is some- 
 thing wrong about the matter. I will admit that Pavel Ivano- 
 vitch Tchitchikoff is to me an extremely repulsive man," said 
 Murazoff. 
 
 " I have also filed an appeal, in order to remind the officials 
 that an immediate heir is in existence. They may all fight it 
 out among themselves, so far as I am concerned," thought 
 Khlobuyotf, as he left the house. "Afanasiy Vasilievitch is
 
 298 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 no fool. He probably thought the matter over before he in- 
 trusted this commission to me. All I have to do is to fulfil 
 it." 
 
 He had already begun to meditate on his journey, while 
 Murazoflf was still repeating, " Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikoff is 
 to me an extremely repulsive man. If he would only dis- 
 play the same perseverance and force of will in a good cause ! " 
 
 In the meantime, appeal after appeal had been presented to 
 the court. Relatives who had never been heard of before made 
 their appearance. As birds of prey swoop down upon a corpse, 
 so every one swooped down upon the immense heritage left 
 by the old woman. Denunciations against Tchitchikoff, against 
 the fraudulent will ; complaints as to the fraudulent character 
 of the first will as well ; charges of theft, and of the concealment 
 of various sums ; charges against Tchitchikoff in connection with 
 his purchase of dead souls, and of his introduction of snauggled 
 goods during his service in the custom-house — had already been 
 brought forward. 
 
 Everything had been ferreted out, and his former history was 
 generally known. God alone knows how people had got scent 
 of his history, and had unearthed the whole of it ! But there 
 were proofs, even with regard to such matters as Tchitchikoff 
 supposed to be known to himself and to the four walls only. 
 AH this was a judicial secret for the present, and had not yet 
 reached his ears ; although a confidential note from his lawyer, 
 which he received before long, gave him to understand that 
 there was trouble brewing. This note Avas couched in brief 
 terms : " I hasten to inform you that your business will create a 
 stir, but remember that you are not to feel anxious. The chief 
 thing is — composure. We will settle it all." This note en- 
 tirely reassured him. "That man is a real genius!" said 
 Tchitchikoff. 
 
 To complete his pleasant frame of mind, the tailor brought 
 home his new suit just at this time. He conceived a strong 
 desire to have a look at himself in his new coat of Navarino 
 smoke and flame ; he tightly buckled his trousers, which fitted 
 him wonderfully well in every respect, so that he was a perfect 
 picture. The cloth moulded itself to his hips and calves ; it set 
 snugly to his whole form, thereby communicating still greater 
 elasticity to it. When he drew the strap close behind, his 
 stomach seemed just like a drum. He immediately smote it with 
 a brush, and said, " What a fool ! but, on the whole, it forms a 
 picture." It appeared that the coat was even better made than 
 the trousers : there was not a single wrinkle ; all the parts
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 299 
 
 stretched smoothly, curving outward over the rounding portions 
 of his body, and defining the hollows. 
 
 The tailor merely smiled at Tchitchikoff's remark, that it 
 pinched him a little under his left arm : it set all the better 
 round the waist for that, said he. "Be at your ease, be at your 
 ease, as regards the work," he kept repeating with unconcealed 
 triumph. " Things are made so nowhere else outside of Peters- 
 burg." The tailor was from Petersburg himself; and on his 
 sign he had inscribed, From London and Paris. He was not 
 fond of jesting, and his object in employing the names of these 
 two cities was to close the throats of all other tailors on the spot, 
 so that, in the future, no one should present himself as coming 
 from those cities, but might set himself down as from some 
 Carlsruhe or Copenhagen. 
 
 Tchitchikoti' settled his debt to the tailor in handsome style ; 
 and when he was alone once more, he began to survey himself 
 at his leisure in the mirror, like an artist possessed of an 
 aesthetic sense, and con amore. Everything seemed more satis- 
 factory than befoi-e : his cheeks were more interesting, his chin 
 was more captivating, his white collar imparted tone to his 
 cheeks, his blue satin neckcloth imparted tone to his collar, the 
 new-fangled plaits of his shirt-front gave tone to his neckcloth, 
 his rich velvet waistcoat gave value to his shirt-front, and his 
 swallow-tailed coat of Navarino smoke and flame, which was as 
 glossy as silk, heightened the effect of all the rest. 
 
 He turned to the right — good ! He turned to the left — better 
 still! He bent forward as though in the house of a court- 
 chamberlain, or of a gentleman who even scratches himself in 
 the French style, and who, even when angry, never disgraces 
 himself by an unclean word in the Russsian language, but 
 curses in the French dialect. Such delicacy ! 
 
 Inclining his head a little on one side, he tried to strike an 
 attitude as though in the act of addressing a lady of middle age, 
 and of the highest cultivation. The attitude turned out a perfect 
 picture. Artist, take your brush, and limn it ! In his satis- 
 faction he executed a little skip in the nature of a capez*. The 
 table trembled ; and a glass bottle containing e an- de-Colo fine 
 fell to the floor ; but this occasioned him no dismay. 
 
 He simply called the stupid bottle a "fool," and was think- 
 ing, " To whom shall I show myself first ? The best thing of 
 all will be " — when suddenly there became audible in the ante- 
 room a clanking resembling that produced by boots and spurs, 
 and a gendarme entered in full uniform, and with a look on his 
 face as though he were a whole army in himself. " You are
 
 300 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 ordered to present yourself instantly to the governor-general," 
 said he. Tchitchikoff was stunned. Before him towered a 
 bearded scarecrow, with a horse-tail on his head, a cross-belt 
 over one shoulder, another cross-belt over the other, and a 
 huge sword suspended at his side. It seemed to Tchitchikoff 
 that a gun and the deuce knows what besides was suspended 
 from his other side. There Avas indeed a whole army contained 
 in this one individual, and what an army ! He attempted to 
 make some reply ; but the scarecrow interrupted him roughl}^ 
 "You are to come with me immediately." 
 
 On glancing through the doorway into the ante-room, Tchi- 
 tchikoff caught a glimpse of another scarecrow ; then he cast 
 a glance through the window : there was a carriage in the 
 courtyard. What was to be done ? He was forced to seat 
 himself just as he was, coat of Navarino smoke and flame and 
 all, in the equipage ; and, trembling in every limb, he was 
 driven to the governor-general's, and the gendarme with him. 
 They did not even allow him time to recover himself in the ante- 
 room. " Step up ! The prince is waiting for you," said the 
 official who was on duty. The ante-room, filled with couriers 
 who had received their packets, flashed past him as in a mist: 
 then came a hall, through which he passed with but one 
 thought, " This is the way one is seized, without a hearing or 
 any formality, and sent to Siberia ! " His heart beat with such 
 ^violence as even that of the most sincere lover is incapable of. 
 At length a door opened, a study filled with portfolios, book- 
 cases, and books presented itself before him, and the prince 
 stood there, as angry as wrath personified. 
 
 " My destroyer, my destroyer ! " said Tchitchikoff to himself. 
 " He will cut my throat as the wolf tears that of the lamb." 
 
 *' I have spared you, I have permitted you to remain free in 
 the city when you should have been in prison ; but you have 
 again sullied yourself with the most dishonourable villainy with 
 which a man ever disgraced himself! " 
 
 The prince's lips quivered with anger. 
 
 " With what dishonourable deed and villainy does your excel- 
 lency charge me ? " inquired Tchitchikoff, trembling in every 
 limb. 
 
 " The woman," said the prince, stepping a little closer, and 
 looking Tchitchikoff straight in the eye, "the woman who 
 signed that will, at your dictation, has been apprehended ; and 
 you will be confronted with her." 
 
 The world grew dark before the eyes of Tchitchikoff, who 
 turned as pale as a sheet.
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AXD A LA^^^:EIl. SOI 
 
 " Yoiir excellency, I will tell you the real truth of that matter. 
 1 am guilty, yes, guilty, but not so guilty. My enemies have 
 betrayed me." 
 
 " No one can betray you, for the rascality within you is 
 many times greater than the most abandoned liar could even 
 conceive of. I don't believe that you ever have done a thing in 
 your life which was not dishonourable. Every copeck that 
 you have acquired has been acquired by the most dishonourable 
 means, and by robbery, and the most disgraceful sort of trans- 
 actions, which deserve the knout and Siberia. No, there has 
 been enough of this. You will be conveyed this instant to 
 prison ; and there, on a level with the vilest of men and with 
 thieves, you will avt^ait the judgment on your case. And this is 
 but a slight punishment, for you are far worse than those who 
 are clad in armyaks'" and sheepskin coats ; for you — " Here he 
 glanced at the coat of Navarino smoke and flame, and, seizing 
 the bell-cord, he rang vigorously. 
 
 " Your excellency," cried Tchitchikoff, " have mercy ! You 
 ai"e the father of a family : pparc me, for the sake of my aged 
 mother ! " 
 
 " You lie ! " exclaimed the prince angrily. " You besought 
 me once in the name of your children and of the wife which you 
 never had, and now it is for the sake of your mother." 
 
 " Your excellency, I am a wretch, and the vilest of good-for- 
 nothings," said Tchitchikoff". "I really have lied; I really 
 had no wife and children ; but God is my witness that I have 
 always wanted to have a wife, to fulfil the duties of a man and 
 a citizen, in order hereafter to actually merit the respect of 
 my fellow-citizens and of the authorities. But how inauspicious 
 has been the course of circumstances ! Your highness, I have 
 been forced to win an existence at the cost of my blood. 
 At every step I have encountered deceit and temptation — 
 enemies, corrupters, and robbers. My whole life has been like 
 a stormy tempest, or like a vessel amid the billows, at the 
 mercy of the gale. I am a man, your excellency — " 
 
 Tears suddenly streamed in torrents from his eyes. He flung 
 liimself at the prince's feet, just as he was, in his coat of 
 Navarino smoke and flame, his velvet waistcoat, his blue satin 
 neckcloth, his wonderfully well-made trousers, and pressed his 
 brow to the floor, while his finely arranged hair exhaled a sweet 
 scent of eau-dc-Coloyne of the first quality. 
 
 " Get away from me! Call a soldier to take him away! " 
 said the prince to the man who entered. 
 * Long peasant-cloaks.
 
 302 BEAD SOULS. 
 
 " Your excellency ! " shrieked Tchitchikoff, clasping tlie 
 prince's boot with both arms. 
 
 " Go away, I tell you ! " said the prince, striving to extricate 
 his leg from Tchitchikoff's embrace. 
 
 " Your excellency, I will not stir from this spot until you 
 grant me mercy," said Tchitchikoff, not releasing the prince's 
 boot, but pressing it close to his breast, and making his way 
 across the floor, coat of Navarino smoke and flame included, in 
 company with the boot. 
 
 " Leave, I tell you ! " repeated the prince, with the same 
 inexplicable sensation of disgust which a man experiences at the 
 sight of some repulsive insect which he cannot bring himself 
 to crush under foot. He shook himself so violently, that 
 Tchitchikofi' felt the shock of the prince's foot upon his nose, his 
 lips, and his rounded chin. But he did not relax his hold upon 
 the boot, he even clasped the leg in his embrace with renewed 
 energy. Two stalwart gendarmes dragged him away by main 
 force, bound his arms, and then led him through all the apart- 
 ments. He was pale and worn, and in that condition of nervous 
 terror in which a man finds himself when he sees before him 
 black, inevitable death, that bugbear which is so repellent to our 
 natures. 
 
 At the very door opening upon the staircase Murazoff met 
 him. A ray of hope suddenly flashed through his mind. In an 
 instant, by the exercise of supernatural strength, he had torn 
 himself from the hands of the two gendarmes, and had flung 
 himself at the feet of the astounded old man. 
 
 " My friend, Pavel Ivanovitch, what is the matter with you ?' ' 
 exclaimed Murazofi". 
 
 " Save me ! They are leading me to prison — to my death." 
 However, the gendarmes seized him and carried him ofi', with- 
 out allowing him to complete his sentence. 
 
 A damp and musty attic filled with the odour of the boots 
 and foot-bandages of the soldiers of the garrison, an unpainted 
 table, two miserable chairs, a window with an iron grating, 
 a worthless stove, through whose cracks the smoke emerged, 
 but which gave out no heat, such were the quarters where 
 Tchitchikofi", in his fine new coat of Navarino smoke and flame, 
 was lodged, before he had begun to taste the sweets of life and 
 to attract the attention of his contemporaries. He had not been 
 allowed to make any preparations, or even to take the most 
 indispensable articles with him. His dressing-case, where his 
 money was kept, his papers, his deeds of sale respecting the 
 dead souls — everything now was in the hands of the authorities.
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 303 
 
 He flung himself on the floor : hopeless sorrow, like a .carni- 
 vorous worm, coiled itself about his heart. With eve^-increasing 
 swiftness did it begin to devour this heart, which was wholly 
 unprotected. One day more, only one day more of such 
 anguish, and Tchitchikofi" would have utterly ceased to exist on 
 this earth ! But some one's all-saving hand had not been idle 
 in Tchitchikofl's aftairs. An hour later the door of his prison 
 was flung open. Old Murazofi" entered. 
 
 If some person had poured fresh water from a spring into the 
 parched throat of a weary and fainting traveller tortured with 
 thirst, and covered with the dust and dirt of the road, he would 
 not have strengthened and refreshed the wayfarer to such an 
 extent as this visit revivified our hero. 
 
 " My saviour! " he exclaimed, suddenly springing from the 
 floor, upon which he had thrown himself in his outburst of grief ; 
 and grasping Murazofi"s hand, he kissed it quickly, and pressed 
 it to his bosom. " May God reward you for having thus visited 
 an unhappy wretch !" 
 
 He burst into tears. 
 
 The old man gazed at him with a look of pain and compassion, 
 and said, "Ah, Pavel, Pavel Ivanovitch ! Pavel Ivanovitch, 
 what have you done ? " 
 
 " What was there for me to do ? That accursed lack of 
 judgment as to measure overtook me, and I had not sense enough 
 to pause in time. Satan, the accursed, beguiled me. led me 
 beyond the bounds of reason and of human calculations. I 
 have sinned, I have sinned ! But how could they behave in 
 that manner ? To throw a nobleman, a nobleman, into prison 
 without a hearing, without even an investigation ! A nobleman, 
 Afanasiy Vasilievitch ! And why did not they allow me time to 
 go to my quarters, to arrange my affairs? Now everything 
 that belongs to me is left without anyone to take care of it. 
 My dressing-case, Afanasiy Vasilievitch ! my dressing-case ! It 
 contains my entire property. I won it by the sweat of my 
 brow, by my blood, by years of toil, by privation. My dressing- 
 case, Afanasiy Vasilievitch ! Everything will be stolen — carried 
 ofl"! OGod!" 
 
 And, powerless to control the anguish which attacked his very 
 heart, he sobbed aloud in a voice which pierced the thick walls 
 of his prison, and resounded dully in the distance : he snatched 
 off his satin neckcloth, and, seizing his coat of Navarino flame 
 and smoke by the collar, he tore it off", 
 
 "Ah, Pavel Ivanovitch, how these riches have blinded you ! 
 They prevent your realising your terrible situation."
 
 304 DEAD SOULS, 
 
 " My benefactor, my saviour, save mo!" cried poor Pavel 
 Ivanovitcb, throwing himself at Murazoff's feet. " The prince 
 loves you : he will do anything for you." 
 
 " No, Pavel Ivanovitch, I cannot, much as I should wish and 
 like to do it. You have fallen under an inexorable law, and 
 not under the power of any man." 
 
 " That rascal of a Satan, that outcast of the human race, has 
 ruined me ! " So saying, Tchitchikoff dashed his head against 
 the wall, and struck the table with his fist, so that he wounded 
 it till it bled ; but he felt neither the pain in his head nor the 
 violence of the blow. 
 
 " Calm yourself, Pavel Ivanovitch ; reflect how you may 
 make your peace with God, and not with men ; think of your 
 miserable soul." 
 
 " But what a fate, Afanasiy Vasilievitch ! Did such a fate 
 ever overtake any other man ? I amassed my copecks pa- 
 tiently — with bloody patience, I may say, with toil, with toil ; 
 and I have never cheated men, nor robbed the treasury, as 
 many do. "Why did I amass copecks ? In order to be able to 
 pass the remnant of my days in comfort, to leave them to the 
 wife and children whom I intended to acquire for my salvation, 
 for the service of my country. That is why I wanted to amass 
 money. I have gone astray ; I do not deny it, I have gone 
 astray ; but what could I do ? I only went astray when I 
 saw that nothing was to be won by following the straight road, 
 and that the crooked ways were more profitable. But I have 
 ever toiled and stinted myself. If I have taken anything it has 
 been from the wealthy. But see those scoundrels in the de- 
 partments of justice who steal thousands from the treasury, 
 who rob the poor, who squeeze the last copeck from those who 
 have nothing. What a misfortune this is ! Tell me why it is, 
 that every time that you begin to reap the fruits of your labour, 
 and to touch them with your hand, so to speak, there suddenly 
 arises a tempest, or you run aground on a reef beneath the 
 water, and the whole ship is dashed into splinters ? Here I 
 had a capital of thirty thousand roubles ; I also had a three- 
 storey house ; on two occasions I purchased a village. Ah, 
 Afanasiy Vasilievitch, why are these blows dealt to me ? Was 
 not my life already like a bark among the billows ? Where is 
 the justice of Heaven ? Where is the reward for patience, for 
 unexampled perseverance ? Three times have I begun afresh, 
 after having lost everything. I began again with a copeck, 
 when any other man would long before have taken to drink- in 
 despair, and have ruined himself in the dram-shop. Consider how
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 305 
 
 much I have had to contend with, how much to endure ! Why, 
 every copeck has hcen wrung out of me, so to speak, with all 
 the powers of my soul. Some other man might have acquired 
 a fortune with ease, but with me it has only been by dint of 
 great exertion." 
 
 He sobbed loudly with insufferable torture of heart, fell upon 
 a chair, completely tore off the skirt of his coat, which was 
 hanging in slareds, flung it away from him, and thrusting both 
 hands into his hair, over the improvement of which he had 
 formerly taken so much pains, he tore it out remorselessly, en- 
 joying the pain by which he strove to deaden the unquenchable 
 torture of his heart. 
 
 For a long time Murazoft' sat silent before him, gazing at this 
 remarkable exhibition of madness, which was something that 
 he had never hitherto witnessed. This fellow, who had not 
 long ago been fluttering about with the easy agility of a man of 
 the world or an officer, was now flinging himself wildly about in 
 a soiled, torn, and rumpled waistcoat and unbuttoned trousers, 
 with a hand bleeding from the blow which he had dealt it, and 
 pouriug out invectives on the hostile powers which attend upon 
 mankind. 
 
 "Ah, Pavel Ivanovitch, Pavel Ivanovitch ! " said Muraz off. 
 " What a man you might have been if you had but exerted 
 yourself with this same force and perseverance in the proper 
 direction, with a better aim in view ! Great heavens ! how 
 much good you might have accomplished ! If one of the people 
 who love good had only expended as much power in its behalf 
 as you have expended in acquiring copecks, and had under- 
 stood how to sacrifice his own self-love and ambition for good 
 without sparing himself, as you have not spared yourself for 
 the sake of amassing money, my God, how this earth of ours 
 would have blossomed out ! Pavel Ivanovitch, Pavel Ivano- 
 nitch ! the pity of it is not that you have been guilty towards 
 others, but that you have been false to yourself, to the rich 
 powers and talents with which you were endowed. You were 
 intended to be a great man, but you have been the cause of 
 your own loss and ruin." 
 
 No matter how far the incorrigible criminal may have strayed 
 from the path in his wanderings, no matter how hardened his 
 feelings may have become, no matter how he may have per- 
 sisted in and clung to his life of corruption, yet if you approach 
 him with the very qualities which he has discredited, his soul 
 involuntarily awakens, and quivers in every fibre. 
 
 " Afanasiy Vasilievitch," said Tchitchikoff, and he seized 
 
 u
 
 306 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 Murazoff's hand in both of his, " oh, if you could only con- 
 trive to set me free, to restore my property to me, I swear to 
 you that I would henceforth lead a wholly different life. Save 
 me, my benefactor, save me ! " 
 
 " What can I do ? I must in that case war against the laws. 
 Suppose that I were to bring myself to that ; however, the 
 prince is a just man ; he would not release you." 
 
 "My benefactor, you can do anything ! The law does not 
 terrify me. I could find means of coping with the law : what 
 troubles me is, that I have been cast into prison, that I shall 
 perish here like a dog, and that my property, my papers, my 
 dressing-case — Ah ! Save me ! " 
 
 He embraced the old man's feet, and burst into tears. 
 
 " Ah, Pavel Ivanovitch, Pavel Ivanovitch ! " said old Murazoff, 
 shaking his head, " how this property has blinded you ! For 
 its sake you refuse to listen to your poor soul." 
 
 " I will think of my soul ; only save me ! " 
 
 "Pavel Ivanovitch," said old Murazoff", impressively, " it is 
 not within my power to save you. You see that yourself. But 
 I will exert myself so far as I can to lighten your fate and to 
 have you set at liberty. I do not know whether I shall succeed 
 in effecting this, but I will try. But in case I should succeed 
 beyond my expectations, I shall claim a reward for my labour, 
 Pavel Ivanovitch. Cast aside all these efforts to acquire wealth. 
 i say to you in serious earnest, that if I were to lose all my 
 money — and I have more than you — I should not weep over it. 
 No, no ; the point does not lie in the property of which others 
 may deprive me, but in that which no one can confiscate or 
 steal away from me. You have already lived a tolerably long 
 time in the world. You yourself style your life a bark amid 
 the billows. You^already have enough to live upon for the re- 
 mainder of your days. Settle down in some retired spot, near 
 a church and among good simple people ; or, if you are anxious 
 to leave descendants behind you, marry some good young girl 
 who is not rich, but who is accustomed to a modest way of 
 living ; forget this noisy world and all its seductive caprices, 
 and let it forget you. There is no rest to be had in it. You 
 see how it is : everyone in it is an enemy, a tempter, or a 
 traitor." 
 
 " Certainly, certainly. I had already formally intended 
 to order my life in accordance with the requirements of my 
 soul, to occupy myself with the management of my estate, to 
 live a quiet life, in fact. The tempter Satan,^yes, the Devil and 
 his crew, turned me from the path and beguiled me."
 
 TWO WII,LS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 307 
 
 Some hidden and hitherto unknown feelings now revealed 
 themselves within our hero, as though something remote, some- 
 thing which had been dropped into his mind long before, which 
 had been stifled since his childhood by stern and deadly pre- 
 cepts, by the unpropitious conditions of his wearisome boyhood, 
 by the dreariness of his paternal home, by the changeless 
 isolation, poverty, and misery of his earliest impressions, by the 
 gloomy views of fate which peered sadly at him through a dim 
 window-pane, obscured by the snowstorms of winter, was 
 desirous of awaking. 
 
 A groan burst from his lips, and, covering his face with both 
 hands, he exclaimed in a sorrowful voice, "It is true, it is 
 true ! " 
 
 " Neither your knowledge of mankind nor your experience 
 availed, since the foundation of your fortune was unlawful. 
 But if there had been a lawful foundation. Ah, Pavel Ivano- 
 vitch ! why have you ruined yourself? Awake! it is not too 
 late ; perhaps there may still be time." 
 
 " No, it is too late, too late ! " groaned Tchitchikoff in a voice 
 which nearly broke MurazofF's heart. "I begin to feel, I am 
 conscious, that it is not thus, not thus, that I shall go — that 
 I have wandered very far from the right road ; but I can do jf/ 
 nothing now. No, not thus was I brought up. My father incul- ^ ^ 
 cated righteousness, he beat it into me : he made me copy moral 
 precepts, while he himself stole a forest from a neighbour in my 
 presence, and forced me to assist him in the deed. He entered 
 into an unjust lawsuit, and I knew it ; he corrupted a young 
 girl who was an orphan and his ward. Example is stronger 
 than precept. I see, I feel, Afanasiy Vasilievitch, that I am 
 not leading the right sort of life, but no one could have a greater 
 repugnance for vice. My nature has grown coarse ; I have not 
 that love for good, those fine impulses for deeds of benevolence, 
 which are formed by habit ; I have not as great a desire to do 
 battle for the good as for the acquisition of wealth. I am telling 
 you the truth. Ah ! what am I to do ? " 
 
 The old man sighed. 
 
 " Pavel Ivanovitch, you possess as much strength of will as 
 patience," said he. " Medicine is bitter ; but the sick man 
 takes it, knowing that otherwise he will not recover. You have 
 no love for the good : do good by main force, without any love 
 for it. This will be accounted a greater merit in your case than 
 in the case of a man who does good for the love of it. Only 
 force yourself to do it a few times and you will acquire a lov^ 
 for it. Believe me, everything proceeds in this manner. Wj
 
 308' DEAD SOULS. 
 
 have been told that the ' kingdom of heaven is taken by force.' 
 Only by force can we come near to it, and by force it is neces- 
 ■ sary to lay hold of it. Eh, Pavel Ivanovitch ! surely you 
 possess that strength, that iron patience which is not possessed 
 by others, and can you not conquer '? Yes, it seems to me that 
 you could prove a bof/atuir.'^' For all men are now lacking in 
 will, all are weak," 
 
 It was evident that these words penetrated into Tchitchikoff 's 
 inmost soul, and touched something egotistical at the bottom of 
 it. Decision, or some powerful emotion which resembled it, 
 gleamed in his ej'es. 
 
 " Afanasiy Vasilievitch," said he firmly, " if you will only 
 procure my release, and the means of departing hence with some 
 property, I will give you my word that I will begin a different 
 life. I will purchase a village, I will become a good manager ; 
 I will amass money, not for myself, but for the purpose of 
 assisting others ; I will do good, so far as lies within my power ; 
 1 will forget myself, and all the dainties and feasts of the city ; 
 I will lead a simple and sober life." 
 
 " May God strengthen you in that determination ! " said the 
 delighted old man. " I shall exert my utmost powers to beg your 
 freedom from the prince. Whether I shall succeed or not, God 
 alone knows. In any case, your fate will certainly be amelio- 
 rated. Ah, good heavens, embrace me ! Permit me to embrace 
 you ! How truly you have rejoiced my heart ! Now God be 
 with you ! I shall go straight to the prince." 
 
 Then Tchitchikoff was left alone. His whole nature had been 
 shaken to its depths, and thoroughly softened. Even platinum, 
 the hardest of metals, and the one which resists the fire longer 
 than all the rest, melts at last ; when the fire is increased in the 
 furnace, and the bellows blow upon it, and the heat of the 
 llames attains to an intolerable pitch, then the most stubborn of 
 metal blanches, and is converted into a liquid ; and so the 
 strongest miseries of mental torture yield, when intolerable 
 fires consume a natui'e A\hich has grown for a season hardened. 
 
 "I have no feelings myself," soliloquised our hero. "I 
 feel nothing, but I will exert all my powers to cause others to 
 feel : I am evil and worthless myself, but I will use all my 
 strength to convert others to goodness ; I am but a poor Chris- 
 tian myself, but I will strain every nerve in order that I may 
 give no cause for offence. 1 will work, I will toil in the sweat 
 of my brow. In the village I will conduct myself honestly, in 
 
 * A hero of the ancient epic songs of Russia.
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAAVYER. 309 
 
 order that I may have a good influence on others. Why, after 
 all, should I regard myself as an utter castaway '? I have capa- 
 city for the management of an estate ; I posse:!:s the qualities of 
 economy and skill, and good sense, and even of perseverance. 
 All that is necessary is to make up my mind to it." 
 
 After this fashion did Tchitchikoff meditate, and he seemed 
 to be testing the half-awakened powers of his soul. It seemed 
 as though his nature were becoming aware in a dim groping 
 Avay that there is some duty which must be fulfilled in every 
 situation, in every nook, however remote, despite all the per- 
 plexities and disturbances which hover round a man in every 
 position in which he may be placed. And a laborious life, far 
 removed from the uproar of cities, and from those seductions 
 which man has devised in his idleness, unmindful of toil, began 
 to outline itself so distinctly before him, that he almost forgot 
 the unpleasantness of his predicament, and was even prepared 
 to return thanks to providence for that heavy blow if he might 
 
 regain his libei'ty and a portion of his However, at this 
 
 moment the door of his noisome prison opened, and an official 
 personage entered — Samosvistoff, an epicui'ean, a clever fellow,- 
 with shoulders an arshin* broad, and huge feet, a capital com- 
 panion, a roisterer, and a thorough brute, as even his comrades 
 expressed themselves in regard to him. In times of war this 
 man would have wrought wonders had he been despatched to 
 make his way through some impenetrable, perilous place, to 
 crawl in under the very mouths of the enemy's cannon : it would 
 have been the very work for him. After having missed a 
 military career, which might have made an honest man of him, 
 he had set all his powers to the task of rendering himself as vile 
 as possible. And, incredible to state, he possessed extraordi- 
 nary convictions and principles ; he behaved well with his 
 comrades, never betrayed any of them, and having given his 
 word, he kept it ; but as for the official personages of a higher 
 rank than his own, he regarded them in the light of a hostile 
 battery, through which it behoved him to make his way, taking 
 advantage of every weak spot, of every breach, of all lack of 
 watchfulness. 
 
 " I know all about your situation : I have heard every- 
 thing," he said, when he saw that the door was closed behind 
 him. *' Have no fears, none ; all will be set right. Everybody 
 has set to work on your behalf, and Ave are all at your service. 
 Thirty thousand Avill suffice for all, not a rouble more," 
 
 * Twenty-eight inches.
 
 310 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " Done !" exclaimed Tchitchikoff. "And shall I be set com- 
 pletely at liberty ? " 
 
 *' Completely. You will even receive compensation for your 
 losses." 
 
 " And for the trouble ? " 
 
 " Thirty thousand roubles. That is for all of us — our people, 
 the governor-general, and his secretary." 
 
 " But excuse me, how can I ? All my effects, my dressing- 
 case, and the rest, are now under seal, under supervision." 
 
 " You will receive everything an hour hence. Shall we 
 strike hands on the bargain ? " 
 
 Tchitchikoff gave his hand. His heart beat fast and he 
 could not believe that this was possible. 
 
 " Farewell for the present. I was commissioned by our 
 mutual friend to tell you that the principal thing is — composure, 
 and presence of mind." 
 
 " H'm ! " thought Tchitchikoff: "lunderstand; the lawyer." 
 
 Thereupon Samosvistoff disappeared. Tchitchikoff, left 
 alone once more, had not yet succeeded in believing his words, 
 when an hour later, his dressing-case and papers were brought 
 to him, and what is more, in the very best of order. Samos- 
 vistoff played the part of director ; he scolded the sentinels 
 posted at our hero's house for their heedlessness ; he inspected 
 them, and ordered application to be made for extra soldiers, so 
 that the guard might be strengthened. Then he seized not only 
 the dressing-case, but all the documents which could in any 
 way compromise Tchitchikoff. Having made them all up into a 
 package together, he sealed it and ordered a soldier to take it 
 to Tchitchikoff, under the pretence that it consisted of indis- 
 pensable articles for his toilet. Indeed, Tchitchikoff received 
 together with his papers, all the warm clothing which was 
 necessary for covering his delicate body. This change of 
 matters rejoiced him unspeakably. He conceived strong hopes, 
 and he again began to dream of luxuries, of evenings spent at 
 the theatre, and of a ballet-girl whom he was courting. The 
 country and a quiet life began to lose all charms for him ; the 
 city and its tumult were more brilliant and seductive. Oh, 
 life ! 
 
 However, in the meantime, the matter had assumed unheard 
 of proportions in the court and council-chamber. The pens of 
 the scribes laboured away, while the scribes themselves took 
 snuff and admired their flourishing cahgraphy. The lawyer, 
 like a hidden magician, guided the entire mechanism : he 
 thoroughly confused them all before any of them had succeeded
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AXD A LAWYER. 311 
 
 in looking into the matter. The imbroglios augmented. Samos- 
 vistoff also excelled himself in audacity and in incredible daring. 
 On learning where the woman who had been captured was 
 kept under guard, he straightway presented himself there with 
 such a dashing and authoritative air, that the sentry saluted 
 him, and dropped his hand to the seam of his trousers. 
 
 " Have you been standing here long ? " asked Samosvistoff. 
 
 " Ever since the morning, your honour ; it will be three 
 hours before I shall be relieved, your honour." 
 
 ' ' I require your services. I shall tell the officer to despatch 
 another man in your place." 
 
 " I obey you, your honour ! " 
 
 Then proceeding home, in order not to initiate anyone else 
 into the affair, Samosvistoff dressed himself up like a gendarme, 
 completing his disguise with moustache and side-whiskers. 
 The Devil himself would not have recognised him. He then 
 started off for the house where Tchitchikoff was confined, 
 and seizing the first woman whom he encountered, he gave her 
 in charge to two official youngsters, who were also sharp prac- 
 titioners. Then he presented himself with his moustaches and 
 a gun, as the case required, to the sentinel. " Go ! " said he, 
 " the commander has sent me to take your duty." 
 
 While the exchange was effected Samosvistoff took up his 
 stand with his gun. This was all that was required. Mean- 
 while the woman who had personated the dead aunt had been 
 replaced by another, who neither knew nor remembered any- 
 thing. The former was then concealed in such a manner that 
 indeed it was never known what had become of her. 
 
 At the vejry time when Samosvistoff was transforming him- 
 self into the semblance of a warrior, the lawyer was working 
 wonders in civil circles. The governor was given to understand 
 indirectly that the procurator was preparing a complaint about 
 him ; the commandant of the gendarmes was informed that an 
 official who had been living privately in town was writing a 
 denunciation of him ; the official who had been living privately 
 was told that there was another and still more mysterious 
 official personage, who was lodging information against him ; 
 and all of them were placed in such a position, that they were 
 forced to resort to the lawyer for advice. This was the utter 
 nonsense which resulted : denunciation followed upon denun- 
 ciation, and such things were on the point of being divulged 
 as no one had ever heard of before, and which, in point of fact, 
 had never had any existence at all. Every sort of device was 
 employed in the work, and brought to bear on the matter : one
 
 312 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 man was stated to be an illegitimate son, and his birth and 
 name were revealed ; another was declared to have a mistress ; 
 while the name of a man whom the wife of another was pur- 
 suing was also made known. 
 
 Scandal, oflfence, and every sort of element were so intermin- 
 gled and intertwined with Tchitchikoff's aflair, and his dead 
 souls, that it was utterly impossible to decide in any manner 
 whatever which of these matters was the most nonsensical. 
 "When the papers at length began to attack the governor- 
 general, the poor prince could make nothing of them. An ex- 
 ceedingly clever and sensible oflficial to whom the preparation 
 of the abstract report was entrusted came near losing his mind. 
 It was absolutely impossible by any means whatever to grasp 
 the thread of the imbroglio. The prince moreover was at that 
 time troubled about a multitude of other matters, each more 
 annoying than the other. Famine had made its appearance in 
 one quarter of the government. The officials who had been 
 sent there to distribute bread had not taken the proper 
 measures. In another quarter of the government, the 
 BaslwJniki-'' had been making a stir. Someone had circulated 
 among them a report that Antichrist had been born, and that he 
 gave the dead no peace, for he had been collecting their souls. 
 The Raskolniki then hov/led and made accusations ; and under 
 the pretext of catching Antichrist, they slew peaceable folks. 
 
 In another locality, the peasants had revolted against the 
 proprietors and the members of the rural police. Some vaga- 
 bonds had circulated a rumour among them to the effect that 
 the time was approaching when the peasants were to become 
 landowners themselves, and array themselves in swallow- 
 tailed coats, while the gentry would be clothed in blouses and 
 become peasants ; and without reflecting on the fact that in 
 that case there would be far too many landowners, the entire 
 district refused to pay any taxes whatever to the rural police. 
 It became necessary to resort to forcible measures. The poor 
 prince was in the most distracted state of mind conceivable. It 
 was at such a time as this that he was visited by Murazoff, 
 the farmer of the brandy revenues. " Let him enter," said the 
 prince. Thereupon the old man made his appearance. 
 
 " See what your Tchitchikoff has come to," said the prince. 
 
 * "When tlie Patriarcli Nikon, about the middle of the seventeenth 
 centuiy, had the sacred -writings revised, and the numerous errors -which 
 had crept in through the carelessness of scribes (and otherwise) corrected, 
 some people still clung to the old and faulty versions ; and thus the sect of 
 the Maakolniki, or " Old Believers," came into existence.
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWTTER. 313 
 
 You stood up for him, and defended him. Now he has involved 
 himself in a transaction such as the vilest of thieves would not 
 have dabbled in." 
 
 "Permit me to observe to your excellency that I do not 
 understand this matter very well." 
 
 " He has forged a will, and has done other things besides. 
 He deserves public chastisement with the whip for such mis- 
 deeds." 
 
 "Your excellency — I do not say this with the object of de- 
 fending Tchitchikoff — but surely all this has not been proved 
 as yet. Ko investigation has yet been made." 
 
 " There are proofs. The woman who was dressed up to re- 
 present the dead woman has been arrested. I intend to 
 interrogate her expressly in your presence." 
 
 The prince then rang, and gave orders that the woman in 
 question should be summoned. Murazoff held his peace. 
 
 " It is a most disgraceful afiair," resumed his excellency, 
 " and to their shame be it said, the most prominent officials in 
 the city are mixed up in it, even the civil governor himself. 
 He ought not to be where thieves and rascals congregate," 
 said the prince wrathfully. 
 
 " Why, the civil governor is the heir"^' to the deceased's 
 property ; he has a right to be connected with the matter ; but 
 it is only natural, your excellency, that others should have inter- 
 fered on all sides. A rich woman has died ; she has not made 
 a just and reasonable disposition of her property; persons 
 desirous of enriching themselves have flown here from all 
 quarters — that is all human nature." 
 
 " But why commit villainies? The scamps ! " said the prince 
 with a feeling of indignation. "I have not a single honourable 
 official about me : they are all rogues ! " 
 
 " Well, your excellency, which of us is as good as he ought 
 to be ? All the officials of our city are — men ; but they have 
 their merits, and many of them are extremely well informed as 
 to their business. On the other hand, everyone is liable to 
 sin." 
 
 " Listen, Afanasiy Vasilievitch ; tell me — you are the only 
 honest man whom I know — why have you such a passion for 
 defending every sort of rascal ? " 
 
 "Your excellency," answered Murazofi', "whoever the man 
 may be whom you designate as a rascal, he is still a man. How 
 can I help defending a person when I know that half the evil 
 
 * Lyenitzuin had now become the civil governor.
 
 314 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 •which he does proceeds from coarseness and ignorance ? 
 Surely we commit injustice at every step, and are at every 
 instant the cause of the misery of a fellow-creature, even when 
 we have no evil intentions. You also have certainly been 
 guilty of great injustice." 
 
 "What!" exclaimed the prince in amazement, thoroughly 
 astounded by the unexpected turn which the conversation had 
 taken. 
 
 " Murazoff remained silent for a moment, as though ponder- 
 ing, but he finally said, " Well, in the case of DerpennikofF, 
 for instance." 
 
 " Afanasiy Vasilievitch, that was a crime against the funda- 
 mental laws of the empire : it was tantamount to a betrayal of 
 one's native land." 
 
 " I do not seek to justify him. But is it just to condemn a 
 young fellow who has been betrayed and led astray by others, 
 by reason of his youth ? is it just to condemn him exactly as 
 though he had been one of the ringleaders ? The same fate 
 overtook DerpennikofF and a certain Voronnoi-Dryannoi, but 
 their crimes were certainly not identical." 
 
 " For heaven's sake," rejoined the prince, with perceptible 
 emotion, "do you know anything about that matter ? Tell me ; 
 it was only recently that I wrote direct to Petersburg in 
 reference to a mitigation of Derpennikofi"s punishment." 
 
 " No, your excellency, I did not refer to that. I know 
 nothing more about the matter than you do. Although there 
 certainly does exist one circumstance which might be used to 
 Dei-pennikoft's advantage, only he himself will not consent to 
 utilise it, because another would be made to suffer thereby. I 
 was merely thinking whether you had not been over-hasty on 
 that occasion. But pardon me, your excellency ; I only judge 
 according to my weak understanding. You have several times 
 enjoined upon me the duty of expressing myself frankly. When 
 I was a master over men, I had a great many labourers of all 
 sorts, both good and bad ; now, when a peasant has misbehaved 
 himself, if you do not take special circumstances and the man's 
 former life into consideration, if you do not inquire coolly into 
 every particular, you never attain to any real comprehension of 
 the matter ; whereas, if you question him as a brother might 
 question a brother, he will at once tell you everything of his 
 own accord. He will not even ask for mercy, nor will he 
 cherish any hard feelings towards anyone, for he will perceive 
 clearly that it is not you, but the law, which is punishing him." 
 
 The prince then fell into thought ; but soon numerous voices
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 315 
 
 were heard in the large office near the audience chamber. The 
 prince was awaiting the woman accused of having forged 
 Alexandra Ivanovna's signature to the spurious will. Hearing 
 the noise and feeling impatient, he went and opened the door, 
 whereupon in the office he saw a number of clerks gathered 
 round a man who was stuttering and stammering in answer to 
 their questions. Near by there stood the accused woman, 
 guarded by three soldiers. While the man stammered and 
 gesticulated, she wept and wrung her hands, and at this sight 
 some townsfolks who were also present asked permission to ex- 
 plain matters to his excellency. The confusion was so great that 
 it seemed as if a riot were going on. The prince, in consterna- 
 tion, glanced at Murazoff, who took upon himself to call six of 
 the oldest of the townsfolk into the governor's private room. It 
 then appeared that the stammering man was the husband of the 
 woman, that the latter had been arrested by surprise during the 
 morning, and had never had anything to do with any will, being 
 quite incapable of acting a part or of signing even her own name, 
 much less that of Alexandra Ivanovna. The prince, though at 
 first much astonished to find, as he thought, that the wrong 
 woman had been an-ested (for he was ignorant of the ruse 
 resorted to by Samosvistoff in favour of Tchitchikoff), finally 
 gave orders for the alarmed couple to be sent home in one of his 
 own carriages, and he expressed his regret to them that such a 
 mistake had been made. 
 
 At that moment a young official entered the private room and 
 remained standing in a respectful attitude with his portfolio. He 
 was one of the few who engage con amore in the administration 
 of afi'airs, instigated neither by ambition, nor by a desire for 
 gain. In fact, he occupied himself with public aflairs because 
 be was convinced that his life had been given him for that 
 purpose. His business consisted in sifting a matter and in 
 picking it to pieces, and explaining it when he had grasped all 
 its tangled threads. He felt that his toil, his efi"orts, and his 
 sleepless nights were abundantly rewarded if the matter at 
 length became intelligible to him, and when he saw that ho 
 could report upon it in a few clear and definite words, so that it 
 would be patent and comprehensible to ever3'one. 
 
 The prince, seeing his young assistant, greeted him kindly ; 
 and then, as he wished to profit by a journey which Murazoff 
 was about to make, so as to have various instructions carried 
 out in different parts of the province, he began to speak to him 
 on the subject. Murazoff readily consented to do whatever the 
 prince required, and the latter then resumed : "Those faithless
 
 316 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 subordinates of mine who by their orgies and their avidity have 
 stirred up the famine-stricken districts, have now returned here, 
 and I shall give them their dues. I have just seen a most com- 
 promising letter, sent by one of them to a certain lawyer here, 
 a thorough intriguer, whom I intend to turn out of the city. I 
 must now also send some troops into the disaffected districts, 
 especially to the one where the Raskolniki (Old Believers) are 
 becoming turbulent ; that is, unless you really think that your 
 presence and sagacity would suffice to bring those unfortunate 
 people to reason." 
 
 " Yes, I think so, prince ; and to make all the surer of suc- 
 cess, I shall myself supply the impoverished districts with 
 barley and rye. That is a business which I know better than 
 your officials do ; I will make personal observation as to what 
 is needful. And, if your excellency will permit it, I will talk 
 with the Easkolniki. They will converse more freely with a 
 civilian like myself. Thus, God knows, I may perhaps be able 
 to arrange matters peaceably with them. The officials would 
 arrange nothing. A correspondence en the subject would en- 
 sue, and they so complicate matters on paper that the affair 
 would become even more confused than it now is. I shall ac- 
 cept no money from you, for it would be a shame, at such a 
 time, to think of one's own purse when people are perishing 
 of hunger. I have abundant stores of grain ; I have already 
 exported some to Siberia, and I shall send some more next 
 summer." 
 
 "God alone can requite you for such a service, Afanasiy 
 Vasilievitch. I shall not say another word to you ; you can 
 realise the situation yourself ; words are inadequate and useless. 
 But with regard to the petition I have received from eighty-two 
 officials of the town in favour of eleven of their colleagues con- 
 victed of deceit and prevarication, I don't think I have a right 
 to let this matter pass without notice. Whatever the peti- 
 tioners may say, it would not be just or honourable on my part 
 to pardon knaves." 
 
 " By heavens ! your excellency, it is impossible to call them 
 that, the more so as many of them are very worthy people. The 
 situations in which a man sometimes tinds himself are difficult — 
 very, very difficult. There are cases when a man seems to be 
 undoubtedly guilty, but when you inquire into the matter, it is 
 not he at all who is to blame." 
 
 " But what will they themselves say if I let them off' ? There 
 are certainly some among them who will raise their noses 
 higher than ever after this, and even say that they had
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LA"\VYER. 317 
 
 frightened me. They will be the first to show me disrespect, 
 and my authority will be compromised.'' 
 
 " Permit me, your excellency, to communicate to you my ad- 
 vice on this subject. Call all the officials together, give them to 
 understand that j'ou know everything, represent to them your 
 own position in the very terms in which you have just been 
 pleased to present it to me, and ask their advice as to what each 
 one of them would do in your place." 
 
 " Yes ; you think they will be accessible to nobler senti- 
 ments than those connected with intriguing and enriching 
 themselves ! Pooh ! they will only laugh at me." 
 
 " I do not think so, your excellency. There is some sense of 
 justice left, even in a person who is worse than the common 
 run of men. Some Jew might behave in that way, but not a 
 Russian. No, your excellency, there is no necessity for your 
 concealing your meaning. Speak to them exactly as you have 
 been graciously pleased to speak to me. They accuse you of 
 being a proud and ambitious man, who will listen to nothing, 
 and who trusts in himself alone ; so let them see everything as 
 it really is. How can it affect you '? You are in the right. 
 Speak to them as though it were not in their presence, but in 
 the presence of God himself, that you were making your con- 
 fession." 
 
 " Afanasiy Yasilievitch," said the prince thoughtfully, " I will 
 think this over; and in the meanwhile, I thank you sincerely 
 for your advice." 
 
 " And will your excellency order Tchitchikoff's release ?" 
 
 " Well, yes, I will. Tell Tchitchikoff that he is to take him- 
 self off as speedily as possible, within twenty-four hours ; and 
 the farther he goes, the better. I should never forgive him if 
 he fell under my hand again." 
 
 Murazoff went straight from the prince to Tchitchikoff. Ho 
 found our hero already in fine spirits, calmly occupied with the 
 very excellent dinner which had been brought to him from a 
 very good restaurant. From the very first phrases of the con- 
 versation, the old man perceived that Tchitchikofi' had somehow 
 contrived to win over some of the cunning officials. He even 
 realised that the invisible influence of the crafty lawyer had 
 been exercised in the case. 
 
 " Listen to me, Pavel Ivanovitch," said he ; "I have brought 
 you your freedom, on conditions that you quit the city in- 
 stantly. Collect your eflects, and God be with j'ou ! Don't de- 
 lay your departure for a moment, for matters may grow worse. 
 I am aware that a certain person is instigating you to your pre-
 
 318 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 sent course ; but I can inform you in confidence that certain 
 affairs are now on the point of disclosure which are of such a 
 nature that no earthly powers will be able to save him. Of 
 course, he will wish to ruin others in his fall ; but, no matter, 
 the day of reckoning is at hand. When I left you just now you 
 were in a favourable state of mind, much more favourable 
 than you are now. My advice to you was not lightly given. 
 Don't be so eager for that wealth for which men quarrel and 
 cut each other's throats. Believe me, Pavel Ivanovitch, until 
 men cast aside all the things for the sake of which they gnaw 
 and devour each other upon this earth, until they direct their 
 attention to the rational acquisition of spiritual wealth, true 
 opulence and order will never be established upon earth. Days 
 of famine are approaching for the whole nation, and for each 
 one separately. That is clear. Say what you like, the body 
 does depend upon the soul. If you wish it to progress as it 
 should, don't think any more of dead souls, but of your own 
 living soul, and, with God's aid, adopt a different course of life. 
 I also shall take my departure to-morrow. Make haste to 
 leave, for if you don't a misfortune will happen to you in my 
 absence." 
 
 So saying, the old man quitted the room. Tchitchikoff grew 
 thoughtful, and he concentrated his mind upon the significance 
 of life. " Murazoft' is right," said he. " It is time to enter on 
 a different path ! " 
 
 So saying, he left his prison, one of the guards carrying his 
 dressing-case to the outer gate. God alone knows how delighted 
 Selifan and Petrushka were over their master's release. 
 
 "Well, my good fellows," said Tchitchikoff", turning to them 
 in an amiable way, " you must harness up and start." 
 
 " All right, Pavel Ivanovitch," said Selifan. " The road must 
 be laid by this time, for a good deal of snow has fallen, and it 
 will be fine for sledging. It really is time to get out of this ac- 
 cursed city. We ourselves are so tired of it that we don't want 
 to stay in it a day longer." 
 
 " Go to the carriage-maker, and tell him to fit some runners 
 to the calash," said Tchitchikoff. He did not care to pay any 
 farewell calls on anyone. He felt awkward after all that had 
 passed — the more so, as many scandals of the most unpleasant 
 description were in circulation about him in the city. He 
 avoided all encounters, and quietly went to the merchant from 
 whom he had previously purchased the Navarino smoke-and- 
 flame coloured cloth ; of this, he bought four arshins more to 
 serve for a coat and trousers, and then he directed his course
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER, 319 
 
 to the same tailor as before. In consideration of double pay, 
 the fellow agreed to expedite matters ; and the tailor colony sat 
 down to work all night, with needle, goose, and teeth, so that 
 the coat was ready on the morrow, although a little late. It was 
 excellent, exactly like the first one. But, alas ! Tchitchikofl' ob- 
 served that there was now a smooth white spot on his head ; 
 and he wailed mournfully. " And why need I have indulged in 
 such violent grief ? I ought not to have torn my hair for a long 
 time to come," 
 
 After settling with the tailor, he at length left the town. He 
 was no longer the Tchitchikoft" of former days ; he was merely 
 the ruin of the old Tchitchikofl". His soul, by its internal condi- 
 tion, might have been compared to a building which has been 
 pulled to pieces, in order that a new one may be constructed 
 from it, which new one has not yet been begun, as the final 
 plans have not yet arrived from the architect, so that the work- 
 men are left in a state of indecision. 
 
 Old Murazoff" took his departure an hour before Tchitchikoft", 
 in a kibitka in company with his clerk, Potapuitch ; and one 
 hour after Tchitchikoft"s departure, an order was circulated 
 through the town to the efiect that the prince wished to see 
 everyone of the oificials on the occasion of his approaching 
 trip to Petersburg. 
 
 The entire official force of the city, beginning with the civil 
 governor and ending with a titular councillor, assembled in the 
 grand hall of the governor-general's residence. There were all 
 the heads of offices and departments, councillors, assessors, 
 Sourbiters, Rednoses, Blowhards ;"^" those who had taken bribes, 
 those who had not ; those whose souls were crooked, those 
 whose souls were getting crooked, and those whose souls were 
 not crooked at all. All awaited the entrance of the governor- 
 general in considerable excitement and trepidation. The prince 
 made his appearance with a face which was neither gloomy nor 
 pleasant ; his glance was firm, so was his step. The entire 
 official assemblage bowed, some of them to their very girdles. 
 The prince responded with a slight inclination of the head, and 
 then began as follows : — 
 
 " As I am on the point of starting for Petersburg, I have 
 thought it proper to have an interview with you, and I will ex- 
 plain to you in some degree the cause of my adopting this 
 course. A very disgraceful aff'air has occurred here in our 
 very midst. I presume that many of those now present know 
 
 * Translations of epithets employed as proper names.
 
 320 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 to what matter I refer. This affair has led to the detection of 
 other matters not less disgraceful, in which men whom I had 
 hitherto regarded as honest have become involved. I am even 
 acquainted with their secret purposes to confuse and muddle 
 everything in such a manner that it will be absolutely im- 
 possible to arrive at a clear knowledge of the situation. I 
 know who is the leader in all this, and all about his secret 
 action, although he has very cleverly kept in the background 
 all through. But the point lies here — that I intend to investi- 
 gate this matter, not by a formal investigation of the papers, 
 but by swift trial, as in time of war ; and I hope that the 
 emperor will grant me the right to do so, when I have laid the 
 whole business before him. In this case, as there exists no 
 possibility of carrying out the proceedings in the usual form, 
 since cabinets full of documents have been burned, and since 
 eflbrts are being made by means of forged denunciations and 
 other false extraneous testimony to confuse this matter, which 
 is dark enough already, I consider a court-martial to be the sole 
 resource, and I should like to gather your opinion on the 
 subject." 
 
 The prince paused, as though awaiting a reply. All stood 
 with their eyes fixed on the floor. Many of them were 
 pallid. 
 
 " I am also acquainted with another transaction," resumed 
 his excellency, " although those engaged in it feel perfectly 
 sure that it cannot be possibly known to anyone. The prose- 
 cution will in this instance be vigorously pressed ; for I shall 
 myself be the informant and the plaintiff, and I shall present 
 convincing proofs." 
 
 One of the official assemblage now shuddered, and some of 
 the more timid fairly took alarm. 
 
 "As a matter of course," continued the prince, "the chief 
 ringleader will be punished by the loss of his rank and pro- 
 perty, and the rest by removal from office. Possibly many 
 innocent men will suffer. But what is to be done ? The affair 
 is a very dishonourable one, and people cry aloud for justice. 
 Although I am aware that this will not even serve as a lesson 
 to others — for in the place of those who are discharged, others 
 will make their appearance, and the very men who have hitherto 
 been honest will become dishonest, and the very men who 
 are honoured with my confidence will deceive and betray me — 
 still, in spite of all this, I am forced to act rigorously, for the 
 case is one in which punishment is requisite. I know that I 
 shall be accused of harshness and cruelty, but I also know
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAAVYER. 321 
 
 that I shall be less blamed by those for whom I must now 
 become simply an instrument of justice, destined to fall upon 
 their heads." 
 
 An involuntary shudder passed over the faces of all who 
 were present. The prince was calm. Neither wrath nor 
 mental emotion of any kind was reflected upon his counten- 
 ance. 
 
 "Well," he continued, " the man in whose hands the fate of 
 many lies, and whom no appeals could hitherto move, now 
 appeals to you all. All shall be forgotten, wiped out, forgiven ; 
 I will myself intercede for all, if you will comply with my 
 request. This is what I ask. I know that dishonesty cannot 
 be GX,tirpated by any means whatever, neither by terror nor by 
 chastisement. It has become too deeply rooted. The dis- 
 honourable practice of taking bribes has come to be a necessity, 
 and indispensable even for those who were not born with 
 dishonest instincts. I know that it is impossible for many men 
 to resist the general current. But I am now obliged — at a 
 sacred and decisive moment, when the salvation of the country 
 is in question, when every citizen contributes all he has, and 
 sacrifices everything to relieve his starving countrymen — I am 
 obliged to make a proclamation to all those who still have a 
 Russian heart in their bosoms, and who have any comprehen- 
 sion of the significance of the word nobility. Why discuss 
 which of us is the most to blame ? I am perhaps more to 
 blame than all the others ; I may have been too stern with you 
 in the beginning ; I may through my superfluous suspicion 
 have repulsed such of you as honestly desired to be of service 
 to me. But if those I refer to really loved justice and the 
 welfare of their country, they should not have taken oftence at 
 the haughtiness of my demeanour ; they should have stifled 
 their own self-pride, and sacrificed their own personalities. I 
 should have noted their self-sacrifice and their lofty sentiments, 
 and have finally accepted wise and useful advice from them. 
 Nevertheless, the subordinate ought rather to mould himself to 
 the temper of his chief, than the chief to the temper of his 
 subordinates. This is, at all events, more lawful and easier, 
 since many subordinates have but one chief, whereas each chief 
 has a hundred subordinates. But we will now lay aside the 
 question as to who is the most to blame. The point lies here — 
 that we are called upon to save our country ; that our father- 
 land is being ruined, not by the incursions of twenty foreign 
 nations, but by ourselves ; that beside the lawful government, 
 another government has been established which is much more
 
 S22 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 powerful than any lawful one. We have fixed our own condi- 
 tions ; everything has had a price set upon it, and these prices have 
 even become universally known. And no ruler, were he even 
 wiser than all the rulers and lawgivers in the world, can remedy 
 this evil, no matter how greatly he limits the action of dis- 
 honest officials by appointing other officials to overlook them. 
 All means indeed will prove unavailing until each one of us 
 feels that he must prepare to repel dishonesty, in the same 
 manner in which he armed himself at the epoch of the great 
 national rising. I now appeal to you as a Russian, as a man of 
 one blood with yourselves. I turn to those among you who 
 have the least comprehension of what nobility of thought con- 
 sists in. I invite them to remember their duty — duty, which 
 presents itself to man wherever and whatever he maybe. I in- 
 vite them to examine their duties more closely, and the obliga- 
 tions of the service they belong to." 
 
 "And now, gentlemen," added the prince, "will you now be 
 kind enough to follow me into the adjoining apartment ? "* 
 
 As the prince uttered these words, he made a sign to the 
 lackej'S who were standing on each side of one of the doors of 
 the audience-room, and this door was instantly fiung open. 
 The governor-general then passed into the largest apartment of 
 his official quarters ; the entire assembly folloAved him there 
 and the door was closed again. This apartment, which was 
 surrounded by writing-tables, was lighted from above, and had 
 in all five doors, all of which were closed ; in front of each, 
 inside the room, stood two gendarmes, armed and motionless. 
 This circumstance seemed to add to the gravity of the language 
 which they had just listened to. Still another peculiarity 
 attracted general attention : only a few^ chairs usually stood 
 near each of the writing-tables; but on this occasion, the chairs 
 were considerably more numerous than usual, and on the 
 tables in front of the chairs there lay sheets of white paper, 
 and on the paper freshly cut pens. 
 
 The prince now addressed the company in these words : — 
 
 * Here Gogol's text comes to an end, as stated in our preface. How- 
 ever, in 1857 a book was published at Kieft' under the title of " Continuation 
 and Conclusion of Bend Souls, " by Yastchenko Zakhartchenko. What fol- 
 lows is taken from that work, in the belief that] it will please those who 
 like to have their stories complete, and serve as a curiosity to others. 
 The MS. destroyed by Gogol was no doubt very different ; and the follow- 
 ing matter must be regarded as a mere experiment, such as has been 
 made at various times in England by second and third-rate writers in at- 
 tempting to complete the unfinished work of some great novelist — as 
 witness Thackeray's " Denis Duval," and Dickens's "Mystery of Edwia 
 Drood."
 
 TWO WILLS, A FAIR, AND A LAWYER. 323 
 
 " Gentlemen, the request which I am about to make to you 
 is this : please to seat yourselves, take your pens, and write 
 down freely on those sheets of paper j-our opinion of the com- 
 munication which I have just made to you, and of which I feel 
 sure you have not missed a word. You will not require more 
 than twenty minutes to enunciate your sentiments as to the 
 state of things which I have described to you, and as to the 
 measures which I ought to take. At all events, I wish to have 
 the one hundred and sixty-two sheets of paper written, signed, 
 and dated by your own hands within half an hour's time." 
 
 After speaking these last words, he withdrew into his study. 
 Half an hour later he re-entered the room, had all the sheets of 
 paper collected and then courteously dismissed the assemblage. 
 All the officials retired, either thoughtful or depressed, and 
 returned home, without dreaming even of questioning one 
 another. 
 
 After the scrutiny, which was conducted under the prince's 
 own eyes, twenty-seven humble resignations were laid on one 
 side. The twenty-eighth, however, was written with a noble 
 and profound sentiment of wounded pride. It came from an 
 exalted personage, who, moreover, called in person, and who 
 was immediately admitted. The explanation and the conduct 
 of this official, who had resigned, indicated reviving loyalty and 
 a general return to better sentiments. The prince promised 
 to add a marginal note to the petition which this person had 
 addressed to the sovereign, in order to obtain his discharge ; 
 he then undertook to preside in person over a tribunal of arbi- 
 tration, which Lyenitzuin besought him to establish im- 
 mediately, and in the presence of which he was desirous of 
 terminating, in an honourable manner, the scandalous suit, 
 which had arisen between himself and the other interested 
 parties with regard to the testamentary dispositions of his late 
 relative, Khlobuyoff's aunt. 
 
 This matter having been arranged, the prince wrote a cir- 
 cular, copies of which were despatched that same evening to 
 the twenty-seven scamps of divers ranks who had been led to 
 acknowledge themselves guilty on the spot. Each one was 
 invited to consider whether it would not be appropriate, whilst 
 sending in a petition for permission to resign, which really 
 amounted to an appeal to the sovereign for mercy, whether it 
 would not be appropriate to support this petition by an apology 
 to his fellow-men, in the shape of some good deed — for example, 
 the gift of some money to the poor of the district who were suf- 
 fering from famine. Then they all were to name to which of the
 
 324 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 Eastern governments theywisted to retire with the simple rank 
 of citizen. The prince's circular procured for the poor inha- 
 bitants of the distrijCt, now sorely afflicted with famine, a sum 
 of nearly one hundred thousand roubles, which was distributed 
 among them. 
 
 At the expiration of three months not a single one of these 
 twenty-seven rascals remained in the town. We do not know 
 whether any others afterwards arrived in their stead, but these 
 were all forced to quit the government, never to appear there 
 more. As for the lawyer, we do not know whether it was of 
 his own free will or in consequence of certain orders he received, 
 that he decided to make a prolonged sojourn in the vicinity of 
 Lake Baikal ; however, fifty days after the departure of our 
 hero the ex-advocate was installed in a small house in the 
 western suburb of Irkutsk. There, in the midst of gardens, 
 like Diocletian after he had abdicated the imperial throne, our 
 fallen lawyer, in the lack of employment for his legal talents, 
 innocently occupied himself in cultivating vegetables and pre- 
 paring all sorts of preserves. 
 
 His excellency the civil governor, Lyenitzuin, in company 
 with his wife and their charming infant, set out on their side 
 for Nice, where they intended to spend the winter. As for 
 Khlobuyoff", in the course of his tour of penitence he had raised 
 his humble mission almost to the level of a sort of apostleship. 
 Treasures of really even angelic eloquence had been discovered 
 in this man, for so long a time both a dissipated and frivolous 
 fellow, and the efiects of his words on the people far surpassed 
 those which Murazoft' had hoped for. The repentant Lyenitzuin, 
 it should be mentioned, bought back the hereditary domain of 
 Khlobuyofi', who, on his mission being accomphshed, learnt that 
 his land has been restored to him tree from all encumbrances, 
 abundantly provided with agricultural implements, with grain, 
 horses, oxen, and flocks, and managed for a year, free of cost, by 
 an upright agriculturist known to Murazofi' and Kostanzhoglo. 
 Moreover, Lyenitzuin decided to pay Khlobuyoff an annuity of 
 twenty thousand roubles, with reversion, after his death, to his 
 wife, and, in default of him and his wife, to their eldest child. 
 
 But let us return to our hero, and let us see what thoughts 
 occupy his mind after his rescue from a most perilous situation, 
 by precisely the very matters which seemed destined to pre- 
 cipitate his ruin ; that is to say, by the deluge of accusations 
 brought against him, by the unexampled complications which 
 had arisen, and by his arbitrary imprisonment, which at first 
 seemed merely a preliminary to Siberia or the scafi'old.
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 
 
 CHAPTER XVII. 
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. HIS OPINIONS IN THE 
 
 LAP OF FORTUNE. 
 
 More than a month had elapsed since Tchitchikoff had enjoyed 
 the seven hours of sleep per day which are considered indis- 
 pensable to the health of man ; and of late, repose seemed to 
 have totally abandoned him at night. Thus the gentle, easy 
 motion of the sleigh now proved conducive to repose, and, 
 stretched out comfortably in his calash, he slept for fourteen 
 hours. He woke himself at last by a powerful snore resembling 
 the detonation of a blunderbuss, followed by a sneeze of the 
 most sonorous description ; and the commotion which accom- 
 panied this double explosion was a double test, to boot, for the 
 admirable springs of the ancient calash. A dog broke his chain, 
 a cock set his numerous family the example of a headlong flight ; 
 two peasants ran out into their yards to see who could be thus 
 firing close to their dwellings; a woman, trembling like a leaf 
 and standing with her mouth open, let fall a large jar of clotted 
 milk on the threshold of a barn. However, Selifan and Petrushka, 
 who were not deceived as to the nature of the phenomenon, 
 rushed straight to their master's couch. Tchitchikoff, as soon 
 as he could understand things about him, learned that the 
 horses had been obliged to halt in order to regain their breath 
 and strength, and that his people, after having kept their seats 
 on the box for nearly fifteen hours by the clock, had taken 
 advantage of this enforced halt to refresh themselves a little on 
 some cabbage, milk, and hot bread. 
 
 Our hero entered the public room of the rustic hostelry where 
 his servants had fed, and there devoured by himself the third of 
 a fine kitlei.i/aka,* weighing between six and eight pounds, which 
 the landlord had prepared for a wedding in the village ; then, 
 the horses having been once more harnessed to the carriage, he 
 paid his reckoning, resumed his seat, and set out again on his 
 journey, after having fully informed himself as to the situation 
 of the estates of a certain Dobryakoff, who, five days prior to 
 the imprisonment of Tchitchikoft", had received from the latter a 
 deposit of three very heavy coffers. 
 
 Our hero found Dobryakoff's house well enough, and also the 
 coffers which were awaiting him, but not Dobryakoff" himself, 
 
 * A fish-pasty, the contents of which have been previously described.
 
 326 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 for he was absent. The uncle of that gentleman, an old man 
 over eighty years of age, gave TchitchikofF and his servants a 
 perfect dinner, delivered the coffers up to his visitor, and only 
 allowed him to depart after a formal promise to return shortly 
 and visit his nephew. 
 
 Our hero soon cruelly repented of the precipitation with which 
 he abandoned that hospitable roof, where he had not considered 
 it prudent to remain on account of the burden which he was 
 carrying away. He had hardly resumed his journey when the 
 sky clouded over, the wind rose, and terrible squalls of snow 
 whirled around him ; every trace of the road disappeared, and 
 the tempest was all the more alarming since it was united with 
 sharp cold. 
 
 The travellers, who had lost their way completely, wandered 
 about at random, still advancing until after midnight with infinite 
 difficulty, and not without great danger, when at length the 
 despair which had seized hold of them was followed by a feeble 
 ray of hope ; the hurricane diminished in violence, the darkness 
 became less impenetrable, and they fancied they could see a 
 clearing, surrounded by thick underwood, stretching before them. 
 Fortunately they kept the wind behind them, and they skilfully 
 tacked and tacked whilst in the valleys formed by the thousands 
 of snow heaps, which were alternately raised and carried off by 
 the tempest. During an interval of enforced halt made by the 
 horses, who were overcome with fatigue, they heard the barking 
 of dogs. This auspicious sound restored a little courage, even to 
 the steeds, and five minutes later they could distinguish some 
 lights in the distance. 
 
 They were those of the hunting-box of a wealthy nobleman, 
 who was staying there with a considerable number of friends 
 and neighbours. His whole pack of hounds was assembled 
 there, with all his huntsmen — a truly royal establishment; while 
 the company was gathered in the principal apartment, having 
 just concluded a copious and splendid supper, which had been 
 wound up with lavish libations. It was at this moment that 
 Pavel Ivanovitch was announced to the nobleman, Prince 
 Kutinin, as a traveller who had lost his way, and who requested 
 his excellency's hospitality for the night. The prince, who was 
 busy having several card-tables prepared, ordered that the 
 stranger should, first of all, be supplied with a good supper and 
 a fire, and that he should afterwards be presented to him, unless 
 indeed he preferred to go to bed. 
 
 At the expiration of an hour, Tchitchikofi" was in the drawing- 
 room, seated beside the prince, who had just won from a young
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFE. 327 
 
 gentleman, at cards, first his ready money, then two estates he 
 owned, next his stud, and finally his equipages, weapons and 
 dogs. 
 
 The prince was desirous of learning who was the guest whom 
 the storm had sent him. Tchitchikoff posed as a man who, 
 wearied of the benumbing influence of towns, was in search of 
 an estate and a wife, as he henceforth wished to live a family 
 life, and to indulge in his tastes for agriculture. Upon hearing 
 this, the prince informed him of a magnificent estate at a dis- 
 tance of thirty versts or so, which belonged to a young lady 
 who knew how to manage her property extremely well, and who 
 would no doubt be charmed to make our hero's acquaintance, 
 and, better still, to bestow herself and all her possessions upon 
 him. Then he invited Tcbitchikoft' to join in a game of faro, 
 that was, if he felt inclined to tempt fortune. But our hero 
 at the moment had to give some orders to his servants. He 
 had himself shown to the small chamber which had been 
 assigned to him, and an apology was made to him, as, in order 
 to reach it, he was forced to pass through the kitchen. On 
 entering his apartment, followed by Petrushka, he beheld the 
 three coffers ranged against the wall ; and he gazed at them 
 intently with a contraction of his brows, for they constituted a 
 very heavy burden for him to carry about with him in all his 
 peregi-inations. Suddenly the idea occurred to him to ask 
 Petrushka if he knew who the man was with a piercing glance, 
 whom he had seen sitting on a stool near the kitchen fire. 
 
 " He is a Jew," answered Petrushka, "and is said to be worth 
 millions. Chance always leads men of his class to places where 
 fortunes fly about." 
 
 " Beg him to come here, then, and leave me alone with him ; 
 but try to borrow a scale and some weights, and remain in the 
 kitchen near at hand." 
 
 The Jew was brought in, the scales were procured, and, at 
 the expiration of half an hour, the three embarrassing coffers* 
 had disappeared from the room, and perhaps even from the 
 house. Tchitchikoff returned to the drawing-room without 
 having opened his cash-box, but with seventy-five thousand 
 good roubles in his pocket-book, a portion of which he decided 
 to risk at play. He had the best of luck ; and the finest piece 
 of all was, undoubtedly, that, having won thirty thousand 
 roubles without anyone paying any heed to it, lie had the 
 pleasure of seeing the whole company, overwhelmed with 
 
 * These coffers contained the gold and silver plalc ■vv-hich was missing 
 afcer the death of Khlobuyoff'a aunt.
 
 328 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 fatigue, break up into groups, and, preceded by lackeys armed 
 with torches, retire to their rooms. It was now five o'clock in 
 the morning. 
 
 Tchitchikoff did not sleep. The weather was now perfectly 
 ealm, and the moonlight superb. He pushed his bed towards 
 the door, in such a manner as to barricade it, and opened his 
 cash-box on a large stool, quite close to him. Then, sitting up 
 in bed, with the white coverlet thrown picturesquely round his 
 shoulders, he set to work to count up his capital. As he was 
 completing this intoxicating operation, he beheld a man, who 
 seemed to be observing him, rise up beneath his window. He 
 instantly darted to the casement, armed with a slipper, held as 
 though it were a pistol ; and his gesture imparted a comical 
 fright to the prowler, in whom Tchitchikoif suddenly recognised 
 his coachman, Selifan. He called him, and gave him formal 
 orders to harness the horses and be ready to set out at day- 
 break. 
 
 Tchitchikoif' s double team was not in a state to travel even 
 ten versts, dragging the calash and towing the britchka behind ; 
 but, as luck would have it, there chanced to be fifteen stout 
 post-horses stalled in a coach-house there, and they were to 
 start at daybreak for a posting station situated nineteen versts 
 away, and in the very direction of the estate of the wealthy 
 spinster whom Prince Kutinin had alluded to on the evening 
 before. Tchitchikofi''s own horses were accordingly attached 
 behind his carriage, so that the trip proved only a promenade 
 for the poor beasts. After three hours' repose at an inn, which 
 was situated on the boundary-line between two provinces, they 
 were harnessed in earnest, and, going at a gentle trot, they 
 were able to reach the house where happiness was possibly 
 awaiting Tchitchikofi". 
 
 Our hero had thought it necessary, before covering this short 
 distance of fifteen versts, to take minute pains with his toilet. 
 In vain was he informed that Appolina Mercurievna had had 
 twenty suitors, all of whom she haJ successively ill-used and 
 dismissed; that she was proud, fantastic, choleric, and often 
 cruel ; that she made her twenty -five hundred souls sutler more 
 than they would sufi"er in hell, and that she was abetted in this 
 task by a woman, who, like herself, had remained unmarried, 
 and who, by her redoubtable activity, appeared a hundred times 
 more ferocious than her noble mistress. However, our friend 
 wished to see and to judge for himself, and so he presented 
 himself, was duly received, paid his court, pleased the lady, 
 became enamoured of her somewhat vigorous charms, made his
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 329 
 
 offer, and was accepted. Then a day was fixed for the wed- 
 ding. 
 
 There was great joy among the gentlewoman's serfs, on 
 hearing that a man would soon become their master, and they 
 imagined that this master was an angel from heaven, a saviour, 
 who had been sent to them by Providence. hope ! what gulfs 
 of misery and sorrow dost thou now and again embellish with 
 a fleeting ray! Meanwhile the lady's relatives, who had been 
 invited to the wedding, arrived from all directions. One of them, 
 alas ! came from the very town whence Tchitchikoff had come, 
 and this man privately told his cousin of all that he knew, or 
 thought he knew, respecting our hero ; and this occurred on the 
 very eve of the day appointed for the nuptials. Appolina having 
 heard that Tchitchikoff had begged mercy from the governor- 
 general for his crimes, in the name of his wife and children, 
 knew all she cared to know of the monster. She awaited him, 
 surrounded by all her guests, who, not having been forewarned, 
 had assumed looks of delight and pleasure ; and at the moment 
 when Tchitchikoff" entered the room, and hastened forward to 
 kiss her hand, that same hand suddenly showered down upon 
 his rosy cheeks a perfect hailstorm of blows. And in the 
 meanwhile this infuriated spinster poured forth a torrent of 
 frightful language, and ordered her lackeys to hound this fine 
 gentleman to his calash, which was all harnessed and packed 
 ready for the road. 
 
 Our hero, who had fancied that he had finally reached the goal 
 of his laboux-s, the innocent and laudable object of his expe- 
 ditions, who had seemed to be upon the point of marrying, of 
 acquiring some fine domains, of enriching his vassals, of devoting 
 himself to a country life, in the bosom of an amiable family, and 
 of conquering, by dint of sagacity, order, and prudence, the 
 respect and esteem of the whole world, then once more had to 
 pass through the hands of perverse men. The first of these 
 was a petty squire, the personal enemy of General Betrishtchefl', 
 to whom he was so unfortunate as to mention that general. 
 This mad and fantastic gentleman, who, as the result of nume- 
 rous excesses, had reached the highest pitch of lunacy, dragged 
 our hero oft' to his house, and constrained him to take part in 
 one of those excessive orgies which seem likely to be followed 
 either by madness or death. This man indeed compelled Tchi- 
 tchikoff, under penalty of death, to drink more spirituous liquors 
 in the space of two hours than he had drunk in the whole pre- 
 ceding thirty years ; and then he had him kissed by fifty men,
 
 330 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 and immediately afterwards by fifty women, wbo obeyed bis 
 commands. 
 
 After tbis trial, tbe most terrible wbicb be bad so far endured, 
 our bero escaped from tbe dangerous freaks of tbis tyrant of tbe 
 steppes ; and a few days later be fell in witb a great nobleman, 
 an Anglomaniac prince, wbo was perfectly infatuated witb bis 
 stud and witb sport, and who made him play a ridiculous part, by 
 forcing bim to adopt a borsey mania, wbicb was quite out of con- 
 sonance witb bis personal appearance. Nevertheless, on tbe 
 advice of tbis nobleman, be betook himself to a neighbouring 
 locality to inspect an estate wbicb was for sale there. 
 
 In tbe bouse there, a young fellow who was in the diplomatic 
 service, bad just arrived from Petersburg, for the purpose of 
 dividing tbe inheritance of a deceased uncle with bis sister. 
 Tbis rustic damsel — a young girl of nineteen — like a genuine, 
 pure-blooded inhabitant of the steppes, was still more terrible 
 and ferocious than the Appolina of whom we have spoken. So 
 our bero fled from tbe bouse, where tbe most violent scenes 
 ■were of constant occurrence between this Amazon, who always 
 had her whip in her hand, and her brother, whom she drove to 
 extremities. It seemed as if it would all result in some unfor- 
 tunate affair, of wbicb Tcbitchikoff did not care to be a witness. 
 With regard to the dispute, he had recognised tbe fact that both 
 tbe diplomat and bis sister bad set their minds on the same 
 thing : the former was resolved to obtain, by ruse or knavery, 
 tbe larger part of the property ; and she, on her side, was no 
 less determined to obtain fully two-thirds of the inheritance, but 
 by means of strife, ill-usage, scandal, and transports of rage. 
 
 At length, after having sold one hundred dead souls at a 
 wretched price, to a man named Bosnyakoff, and to some of the 
 petty officials of a town of tbe tenth rank, he was led twenty 
 days later by business to tbe city of Krasuoi, situated in the 
 district of tbe same name, and in the government of Bubni. 
 There be installed himself at an inn, ordered his dinner, and 
 while waiting to have it served him in bis own room, be began 
 to peruse "The Moscow Gazette," which the waiter had 
 just brought in. Therein be read bis full name and a descrip- 
 tion of bis person, with an order which had been sent to all 
 tbe towns to arrest bim and deliver him up to justice, for 
 having bought, mortgaged, and sold a considerable number of 
 dead souls, and for having committed in various governments 
 divers deeds prohibited by the laws. Ten minutes later, and 
 before Selifan bad had time to harness tbe horses and to fetch 
 the luggage, the police appeared, headed by the gorodnitchii/,
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEtJR OF TCHITCHlKOfP. 331 
 
 or mayor of the town, a man about fifty years of age, who was 
 very expert in all sorts of disputes. He first surveyed Tchi- 
 tchikoft", his fine linen, and his general appearance of prosperity; 
 he reflected upon his title of collegiate councillor, and took an 
 interest in him ; and then he cast a significant glance at his subor- 
 dinates, who were attached to him. These subordinates retired 
 into the corridor and discreetly closed the door. 
 
 " Listen, Pavel Ivanovitch," said the municipal ofiicer. 
 "You have been arrested on the complaint of a person 
 named BosnyakoS', who is a very malicious fellow, and wants 
 to blacken you. I can send someone to him, and for five hundred 
 roubles my messenger will contract with him to withdraw his 
 complaint. I must tell you that he has accused you of having 
 traflicked in dead souls of both sexes, and of having mortgaged 
 a large number to the State Bank." 
 
 " In any case I have not done violence to anyone in either 
 buying, selling, or mortgaging." 
 
 •' No, you have not ; but, now, if you have any money, say 
 so, and I am on your side. For how much have you mortgaged 
 your dead souls to the State Bank ? " 
 
 '• For eighty thousand roubles." 
 
 " You must pay that back promptly ; in fact, you must de- 
 posit the sum to-morrow. You understand me '? " 
 
 *' I will do so. But I have still a thousand souls, from whom 
 I shall never derive any profit, since I am under arrest." 
 
 " Never mind ; I will find a way for you to mortgage them 
 very profitably." 
 
 " Pray do me that favour." 
 
 The dialogue then proceeded as follows : 
 
 The mayor (aside) : " Tell me aloud that youonly have five 
 thousand roubles with you, and nothing else in the whole 
 world. (Aloud.) State, sir, what sum you possess." 
 
 Tchitchihof {((loud): "I possess five thousand roubles in 
 silver, which constitute my entire property." 
 
 The mayor (aloud) : " Hand me those five thousand roubles, 
 sir." 
 
 Tchitchikojf (aloud) : " Here they are." 
 
 The mayor, after opening the door : " That is all right, sir ; 
 don't be alarmed about a wretched intrigue. [Me counts the Jive 
 thousand roubles, and divides it into two unequal jjfl?-^A'.] Five 
 thousand. Good ! I will take these four thousand five hundred 
 and fifty roubles, which will suffice to pay your personal ex- 
 penses and the current cost of the ati'air ; the police will render 
 you an account of your money at any time you may ask for it.
 
 332 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 The four hundred and fifty which you see in this pocket-book, I 
 shall place in your valise ; they will constitute the sum which 
 was found when an inventory was taken. You understand me, 
 I hope ? His excellency the military governor orders that 
 you shall be kept under guard until he has been more fully in- 
 formed by the police ; and as the police quarters are in my 
 house, you will live at my house, if you please, with me, and 
 just as I do." 
 
 This mayor had hardly any fortune, but ho had kept on good 
 terms with all classes of society. When a man impressed him 
 as being rather good than evil, and when he could render him 
 a service, he entered into the business with a great deal of zeal 
 and goodwill. He had, above all things, a passion for a respect- 
 able air. On the present occasion he had the happiness of 
 arranging, for less than one hundred and fifty roubles, all his 
 prisoner's aff"airs, and in addition he enabled him to derive a 
 very good profit from the thousand souls which were left on his 
 hands. Then he was pleased to alloAV Tchitchikoflf to marry 
 his daughter Marya, who was young, docile, fresh, and ignorant, 
 it is true — indeed, utterly insignificant ; but she was very good 
 and very afi'ectionate all the same, the best sort of wife that 
 could be desired for oifcr hero, and whom we could wish for the 
 majority of our friends and acquaintances. 
 
 A good third of the gentry of the government took part in 
 the wedding, which lasted for three days without a break ; and 
 the newly-married couple retired to a very fine estate which 
 Tchitchikoff" had purchased, at a convenient distance from 
 the city of Krasnoi, and where, in the space of ten years, amid 
 satisfactions of all sorts, repose, and true happiness, he saw his 
 first nine children born and grow up. Our hero occupied his 
 leisure with agriculture, kitchen-gardening, and even with ar- 
 boriculture ; he regulated his expenses in perfect accordance 
 with his revenues ; and in order not to lose a certain talent of 
 the pen which he possessed, he thought proper to gather 
 together his memoirs, and commit them to paper in the form 
 of notes, whence, from all appearance, and thanks to our 
 author, has proceeded most of the present work. 
 
 In the eleventh year of this unclouded happiness, such as 
 but very few honest men taste of, Pavel Ivanovitch felt 
 troubled ; he felt weary of so much repose, so much health, 
 so much luck, monotony, uniformity, and calm felicity. His 
 notes were abandoned, he received the caresses of his young 
 family in an absent-minded way, and he no longer went beyond 
 his grounds. As he wandered about his yard, he reminded
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 333 
 
 Selifan and Petrushka of the days of their former peregrina- 
 tions ; he endeavoured to awaken in these burly men some 
 desire for an excursion in the fashion of the olden days ; but 
 they had become fond of a sedentary life as they grew old, 
 and they did not understand his meaning. He gazed upon 
 them with scorn, and felt enraged with himself for having 
 addressed the brutes except in the way of giving orders. 
 
 One day, when the spring had arrived, however, he informed 
 these ancient relics, and without tolerating a single word of 
 objection, that on the morrow, the fifth of May, at daybreak, 
 the calash was to stand ready harnessed at the door, and 
 that they were to hold themselves prepared for an excursion 
 of several months' duration. He proposed to go and visit 
 Tentyotnikoft' and the fair Ulinka, whose happiness he 
 regarded as his own work. He should thus learn whether 
 General Betrishtcheff was still of this world. He flattered 
 himself that in any case he would be welcome, at least among 
 a portion of his extensive circle of relations ; and circum- 
 stances alone had prevented his revisiting the Tentyotnikofl' 
 family, as it was his duty to do, having made a promise to that 
 efiect. 
 
 They set out ; but at the fourteenth verst, and five versts 
 away from any wheelwright or blacksmith, two spokes and the 
 rim of one of the wheels of the ancient calash broke. Tchi- 
 tchikofl' passed the night in a miserable village inn. On the 
 following day, his constant presence in the artisan's shop having 
 produced no result except that of retarding the work, through 
 afl'ording the rustic so many opportunities to chatter, he was 
 forced to make up his mind to pass a second night in the so- 
 called inn, which was a hut. And when at length, on the second 
 day, the wheels were all in good condition, the master felt ill. 
 Selifan and Petrushka exchanged a glance, and, without having 
 received any orders or instructions, the animals took the road 
 for home of their own free will. Marya learnt all, but she care- 
 fully refrained from interrogating her husband as to the cause of 
 his prompt return, and from laughing at his lamentable tale — a 
 piece of discretion which induced Tchitchikoff, after he had re- 
 lated what had taken place, to ridicule his project and his dis- 
 comfiture. 
 
 He then subscribed to seven Russian papers and to three 
 periodical foreign publications — two French and one German — 
 although he did not know a hundred words of French, and not 
 six of German, 
 
 Reading did not long suit his taste, however. On the other
 
 334 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 hand, lie took some pleasure in caressing his children, though 
 he never thought of teaching or reproving theua. He considered 
 that the education of .children was woman's work ; and, with 
 this view, he had provided his wife with an old Swiss gover- 
 ness, to whom he rarely spoke, not knowing very well what to 
 say to her. 
 
 At last Tchitchikoff reverted, in spite of himself, to the idea 
 of a journey, of some excursion or other, but without any defi- 
 nite plan. Whilst he was yet in a state of indecision, the end 
 of the autumn and the whole of the winter passed by. How- 
 ever, the triennial election of magistrates was soon to take place 
 in the chief town of the government — a town which was ordi- 
 narily quite deserted and sleepy, and which he had only visited 
 at the time of his marriage, and on the occasion of purchasing 
 his property. He had only spent six days there, and those in- 
 cessantly in the courts. Several gentlemen, however, now came 
 to sound his intentions, and to seek his vote ; many of the out- 
 going magistrates, who wished to retain their positions, or even 
 to obtain more important ones, hastened to pay court to him. 
 Time sped on. It was a magnificent opportunity for escaping, 
 at least for three weeks, from the uniformity and monotony of a 
 prolonged sojourn in the country. 
 
 Our hero took the greatest delight in the preparations for his 
 trip. He carefully inspected the condition of his fresh vehicle, 
 recommended Selifan and Petrushka not to get drunk during 
 his absence, for in lieu of these old retainers he preferred to 
 take with him his new valet and his wife's coachman, a man of 
 very fine appearance, who spoke little and drank a great deal, 
 though he had never been seen intoxicated. 
 
 On reaching the city, our hero alighted at the best hotel, sent 
 in haste for a tailor, and ordered a nobleman's uniform ; then 
 he dined, and went to take a walk in the pubhc garden. On 
 returning to his hostelry in the evening, he passed by the house 
 occupied by the marshal of the nobility of the district and saw 
 that it was brilliantly lighted up. The marshal, whose name 
 was Stepan Stepanovitch Podgruzdyoff", had nearly half of the 
 local nobility in his rooms. The servants Avere handing round 
 tea, and the whole apartment was pervaded with an odour of 
 lemon, rum, and Turkish tobacco. But what predominated over 
 everything else was the discussion of the elections which were 
 about to take place. Nearly all of Podgruzdyoff's guests were 
 in a joyous frame of mind. He himself sat in a large magiste- 
 rial chair, in front of the Avriting-table in his study ; and the 
 elective police judge, whose name was Prokop Petrovitch Zazh-
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 335 
 
 .^urin, sat as near to him as possible on a light, fanciful chair, 
 contrasting Avith the other one. 
 
 " I should be glad to hear from your own mouth an answer 
 to this question," said the judge. " "Will you comply with the 
 desire of the entire nobility, who want you to remain marshal 
 for another three years ? It is very flattering to serve under 
 you ; and, infirm as I am, I might, in that case, consider the 
 subject of continuing my functions as judge for another term of 
 three years, and even for two terms. But if they want me, it 
 must be with you." 
 
 " No, Prokop Petrovitch," replied the marshal. " I have told 
 you, and I hold to it, that I have done my duty and discharged 
 my tribute. If thenobility re-elect me, all that I shall do will be 
 to thank them very cordially ; but at the same time I shall 
 refuse." 
 
 "In that case, I shall adhere to my own determination not 
 to be re-elected. Who would be a worthy representative of our 
 district after you ? Farewell, Stepan Stepanovitch ! I regret 
 that I have not been able to alter your decision. It is very bad 
 of you to reject our supplications like this." 
 
 Judge Zazhmurin thereupon pressed the marshal's hand, and 
 gained the street by descending the private staircase. 
 
 No sooner had he taken his departure, than captain-ispravnik 
 -Bttrdyakin entered the marshal's study. "Prokop Petrovitch 
 has just gone," said he. " He surely must have told you that 
 he has had more than enough of the service." 
 
 " That is really what he did say. What do you think of 
 it, eh ■? " 
 
 " I think that he is humbugging us." 
 
 " Oh ! indeed ! " 
 
 "That is putting it mildly, for in reality he has his eye on 
 the marshal's oflice. He marshal ! Imagine anyone with that 
 pig's snout as marshal ! " 
 
 " He is ambitious, is he not ? " asked Podgruzdyofi'. 
 
 " A man may have a weakness ; but the idea of Zazhmurin, 
 with that phiz of his, thinking of representing the nobility ! And 
 even as a judge, what is he'? To speak the plain truth, the 
 nobility made a mistake in choosing him ; for, after all, what is 
 there more noble and sacred than to decide the fate of others '? 
 By the way, this oflice has been proposed to me, but I really daro 
 not accept it. I have so much aflection for our aristocracy, that 
 I feel sure that every nobleman would always be in the right in 
 my eyes, and the common people always in the wrong. With 
 such a method, I should soon be involved in a criminal suit.
 
 336 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 But what is to be done ? I ara of opinion that one should always 
 comply with the petition of a nobleman. Yes ; I will do every- 
 thing for the nobility." 
 
 " You icill do. So you have come to a decision ? " 
 
 '* Oh, yes. I offer myself as a candidate, for the mere sake 
 of overthrowing that Zazhmurin. I know, that if he sees that he 
 has but few chances of being elected marshal, he will cling to 
 his place of judge. He is a very crafty fellow." 
 
 " You are very intimate together, yet just see how you talk 
 about him ! " 
 
 " Intimate — intimate as one can be with him. He would like 
 me to be a grain of salt, and hold out a spoonful of cool water 
 to me ; but no, I shan't wait for a bath." 
 
 "Ah!" 
 
 The marshal and the captain-ispravnik now passed into the 
 drawing-room, where the conversation had turned from the elec- 
 tions to very different and rather risky subjects. As for the elec- 
 tions, each person kept his thoughts to himself. Equipages could 
 be seen driving up outside, and for the most part entering the 
 courtyard. The sound of the laughter and chatting of the new 
 arrivals became audible, first at the foot of the stairs, and tiien 
 in the ante-chamber. Several members of the local nobility en- 
 tered. Their names were Hamyazoff, Morkatinoff, Shtchavarin, 
 Sosikoff, and Kornikin. They saluted the assembly, and went 
 to shake hands with Podgruzdyoff, who was quietly sitting on a 
 sofa, with a cigar in his mouth. Hamyazoff and the brothers 
 Morkatinoff had just come from a dinner at the house of the civil 
 governor. 
 
 "If I had only known," said Hamyazoff, puffing out his 
 cheeks, " I shouldn't have brought any wines, any cook, or any 
 cooking utensils up from the country. This is an extremely 
 hospitable town. I have only been here three days, and yet I 
 have already taken part in seven dinners ; I feel horribly afraid 
 of acquiring a big belly. So, pardon and mercy, Stepan Stepano- 
 vitch ! to-morrow I dine in two houses, and I am invited to 
 breakfast in five others. I really do not know if I can come to 
 you. My entertainers will end by making me burst." 
 
 " Here is a gentleman who has come to the elections in order 
 to overfeed himself, and drink from morning till night ; he can 
 talk of nothing save his great digestive capacity," remarked a 
 short, thin gentleman, with a complexion the colour of saffron. 
 " All that one hears him talk about is, what he eat here, and 
 what he will eat there ; what he has drunk here, and how he 
 became intoxicated there. Then he savs that he is invited to five
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 337 
 
 houses farther on ; that he is now on his way to sup with some 
 importunate count ; that to-morrow morning at ten o'clock he 
 will favour that monster of a prince with his company to break- 
 fast. And so on ; but how does he manage to lodge so much 
 food in his body ? " 
 
 These remarks were addressed to the " plenipotentiary " of an ' 
 absent elector, a man whose countenance recalled that of a hare. 
 He noisily repressed an inclination to laugh, and, in his fear of 
 offending Hamyazoff or anyone else, he assumed the most seri- 
 ous possible mien. Then he passed a dirty silk handkerchief 
 over his face and executed two or three dexterous skips, in 
 order to reach a corner of the room. Here he made two or three 
 pirouettes, still continuing to wipe his face ; and, finally, he b?- 
 took himself to a large table covered with a green cloth, bor- 
 dered with gold fringe, from which he i^icked up the Piegulationa 
 of the Elections, and began perusing them for the hundredth 
 time, in a low voice, at the same time lending an ear to a noisy 
 conversation which was going on in the next room. Podgruz- 
 dyoff now went out : he was going to the governor's for a few 
 minutes, and meanwhile a number of his guests remained, 
 thinking it seemly to await his return. Hamyazoff accompanied 
 Podgruzdyoff to the door of his carriage, and then returned to 
 the drawing-room. At first he surveyed all the faces present, and 
 whispered a few words in the ear of his neighbours, whereupon 
 one of the electors said, " If Stepan Stepanovitch would only 
 consent, we should be very glad to vote for him, so that he 
 could remain in ofiice." 
 
 " Well, gentlemen, you are not hard to suit, if you can put 
 up with such a marshal as he is ! " exclaimed Hamyazoff. 
 
 " What do you mean by that ? Podgruzdyoff is an active 
 man : see how he performs his duties as guardian, see how he 
 protects the orphan, how he defends the widow ! " 
 
 "Eh! That's his first duty; anyone of us would do the 
 same ; but you pay no heed to another and equally important 
 duty. What sort of a cook has he got ? It's shameful ! He 
 pretends that that kitchen-man of his served his apprenticeship 
 at the English club at Moscow : I don't believe a word of it, for 
 my own part. He's but a sorry cook. One eats and eats of 
 his cooking, and is never satisfied : it only fatigues one's jaws. 
 You all know what to think of his stuffed dishes, which adhere 
 to the teeth and the palate, they glue the coatings of my oeso- 
 phagus together in a way which enforces silence upon me during 
 the whole of the repast." 
 
 " And, God be thanked ! that suits your neighbours capitally," 
 
 Y
 
 338 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 gaid tlie little gentleman with the saffron complexion, raising a 
 burst of laughter by this witticism. 
 
 " Jokes are somejvhat misplaced to-day," retorted Hamya- 
 zoff ; *' we have come here to elect our magistrates. Listen ! I 
 know that Melekitchenzoff, who has just returned from abroad, 
 wants to be elected marshal, and he's the very man whom we 
 ought to elect ; he has a cook, a genuine French artist, gentle- 
 men. He will never regale you with any hotel-cookery. As 
 far as the rest is concerned, why, I am ready to vote in favour 
 of Podgruzdyoff, but on conditions that he changes his cook and 
 engages a proper one." 
 
 " Send away his cook, indeed, for the sake of being elected 
 marshal ! Come, now ! " 
 
 ''What ? He won't change his cook when the nobility desire 
 it ! If I were marshal, I would do everything in the world for 
 the sake of pleasing the nobihty. And stay ! as a proof of my 
 devotion, I declare to you that I will sacrifice my own cook to 
 him, placing him at his disposal for the whole period of his 
 office without payment. You will agree, I hope, that that is a 
 real sacrifice. My cook is the soul of my house ; and so as not 
 to die of hunger, I shall have to desert wife, children, and 
 home, to come to live with Podgruzdyoff. Never mind. I am 
 prepared to do so, simply for the happiness of proving to all of 
 you how devoted I am to the interests of the aristocracy." 
 
 Having concluded this speech, Hamyazofi' remained with arms 
 outstretched, and his body bent forwards, awaiting a response, 
 which did not come. 
 
 " We intend to ask Stepan Stepanovitch to remain with us 
 for another three years," at last said one of the gentlemen. 
 
 " Even without cook or kitchen ? " asked the glutton. 
 
 " Oh ! to the devil with the cook ! I have my dinner ready 
 in my own house," replied the gentleman. 
 
 "Well," said Hamyazoff, "all the same, I think that we 
 ought to elect Melekitchentzoff." 
 
 "No! No!" 
 
 " Why not ? Think of what awful stuff Podgruzdyoff makes 
 us eat." 
 
 " We will make matters right for Podgruzdyoft' when the 
 balloting begins ! " cried three or four persons at once. " He is 
 worthy of his position, and does honour to our district." 
 
 "Who? Podgruzdyoff?" said Burdyakiu, the captain- 
 ispravnikj at this moment entering the room. " Oh ! a marshal 
 is always good and worthy, of course. But listen : I will make 
 no secret of the fact that several people wish to elect me judge.
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 339 
 
 Yes, me. You understand — judge. That is what can be deno- 
 minated an important and sacred office. But I fear lest I might 
 have to condemn a noble. I should acquit him : on my word 
 of honour, I should acquit him. That would be equivalent to 
 placing a cord about my own neck. But every nobleman will 
 be acquitted. So in the name of heaven, do not vote for either 
 me or Zazhmurin. Besides, although Zazhmurin cannot recon- 
 cile himself to the idea of not being elected, remember that it 
 will be rendering him a service to vote against him. His wife 
 has spoken to me. It is said that work has quite deranged his 
 
 nerves ; and for his wife, as you can imagine Well, as for 
 
 myself, I will, in the first place, tell you sincerely, that if it 
 pleases the nobility to elect me judge, all well and good : I shall 
 not dare to refuse. I shall submit. In short, you may dispose 
 of me as you think proper." 
 
 Thereupon this candidate saluted the company and withdrew 
 with a brisk step. 
 
 There had also been a gathering at Zazhmurin's, but of per- 
 sons of a lower quality. Some of them drank brandy, and 
 nibbled bread and butter and sandwiches. Barantzofi", the 
 auditor, was playing a game of cards, each point being valued 
 at a quarter of a copeck, with three men who held powers of 
 attorney from ditierent absent nobles. Zazhmurin, Burdyakin, 
 and he had hired this lodging in company. In an extremely 
 ruinous carriage-house which stood in the yard of the place, an 
 ex-cornet of hussars, the prodigal Prince Smuirsky, was lodged, 
 Barantzoft' having procured him a commission as an elector's 
 deputy, and brought him there for nothing. The prince was 
 continually entering the rooms, in order to get an opportunity to 
 refresh himself. He was also continually quarrelling with Barant- 
 zofi', his temporary patron ; and after each quarrel, he retreated to 
 his carriage-shed, where he remained grumbling and fuming until 
 dinner or supper time, when his heart experienced the necessity 
 of effecting a reconciliation with the auditor. 
 
 " Tikhon Semyonovitch," said the prince enthusiastically 
 to Barantzoff, "it is for your sake that I came to town." 
 And as he said this he pulled his moustache. 
 
 " Yes, indeed, I had the glory of bringing you with me, 
 prince," retorted Barantzoff, dealing the cards with a serious 
 air. 
 
 ** As a friend you will have my vote," continued the prince. 
 " I have come here for your sake, and shall vote for you." 
 
 " Pass," now said Barantzoff, to his partners at cards, and 
 rising up he left the room.
 
 340 BEAD SOULS. 
 
 " That dear friend of mine can count on some black balls," 
 said the prince, as soon as he had gone. "I will collect a 
 hapdful of them, and stuff them in for my neighbours and 
 myself. He can reckon on that." 
 
 At this moment Barantzoflf returned, whereupon the prince 
 continued, " I wish it to be thoroughly understood that Barant- 
 zoflf and I are a genuine pair of friends." 
 
 He then drank a glass of punch, smacked his lips, stamped 
 his feet, and set his glass on the window-sill ; then he seated 
 himself on a wretched chair, which he tormented in an un- 
 worthy manner, while he complacently picked his nose, and 
 whistled an air which he seemed to be intentionally rendering 
 unintelligible. 
 
 " We must be careful with the prince until the voting is 
 over," said Zazhmurin to his friends, " for he can talk rather 
 disagreeably when he likes." 
 
 " Yes ; but he can be prevented from doing anything foolish, 
 can't he '? A man of that kind — " 
 
 " Where the deuce did he get that coat? " asked another of 
 the card-players." " It does not belong to him. Look at the 
 two big creases down the back." 
 
 " Oh. Barantzoff lent him that coat for the elections." 
 
 " Speak lower," rejoined another person. "Someone said a 
 word to the prince yesterday about that very coat. * It's my 
 coat ! ' he cried. ' No one will wear it after me. I never take 
 it off. When I went to bed last night I would not permit 
 my servants to take it off. I had a fancy for sleeping in my 
 coat. Has anyone any remarks to make on it ? ' That is 
 just what he said, speaking too with great violence." 
 
 " What are you muttering among yourselves ?" at this mo- 
 ment asked the prince. " It strikes me that you are reviling me. 
 Order me some punch and tobacco, or beware of my black- 
 balling you all." Forward, march! Left wheel ! Make haste 
 with the liquor." 
 
 " Stop that, prince ; your jokes are not quite the thing." 
 
 "Bitter, eh? Well, in the company of clever people, my 
 wit is light and sweet. It varies according to my surround- 
 ings, you see. You will all be served with black balls, 
 remember ; for, being a prince, I detest demagogues. To- 
 morrow comes the oath. There will be no drawing back. I 
 must do as my conscience dictates. You want oflfice ; you set 
 yourselves up as candidates for the magistracy, and you 
 belong to a party ; you put yourself at the head of a band. 
 And why do you covet these positions ? In order to coin money
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 341 
 
 out of them. Ah ! we know all about it, and I'll settle your 
 business, that I will ! " 
 
 " What an odd idea of yours to irritate him, gentlemen," re- 
 marked someone in a corner of the room. 
 
 " Ah ! very true. So you are there, my little hare," said the 
 prince, addressing the person who had just spoken. " Well, 
 let us see what you want. You have just been married, hey ? 
 And to whom, you fool ? And now you want to be an 
 auditor, eh ? " The prince then went and whispered in the ear of 
 his little hare, and finally resumed in a louder key, " Now, 
 speak out ! You know that I am pretty well oil' as regards 
 connections — that I am an aristocrat, an ultra-aristocrat, poor 
 though I am ; I have free entrance to the governor's house and 
 the marshal's, so I have plenty of means of procuring people 
 protectors. Let us suppose that Barantzotf or someone clso 
 makes me a present of a nobility uniform with some embroidery 
 of pure gold, such as befits my rank. Where is the general 
 who would have a grander air than I ? Barantzoflf has a high 
 opinion of me, as you know, and for the time being, we lodge 
 here together. But that is not always the case. I have an 
 apartment of my own all to myself. Faith, I pay seven roubles 
 for the sake of occupying it during the elections. Barantzotf 
 feeds me as a matter of course. But that's only right. 
 Neither on the journey nor here have I fasted for a single 
 hour." Then in a very low voice the prince added, " Barant- 
 zoff wants to be a councillor ; only think of it ! " 
 
 " Another candidate ! But he has been holding office for 
 eighteen years already. Surely that's long enough." 
 
 " Let him hold his pockets well open, and I will provide him 
 with plenty of black balls. Only don't you say anything about it 
 — you understand — ts, ts. But, wait a bit, I must embrace you. 
 Do you know, your wife is very pretty ! Ugh, ugh ! I've got 
 the stomach-aclae. I don't know what that animal Barantzotf 
 gives us to eat, but I feel quite upset." 
 
 Thereupon the prince quitted the room, and crossed the yard to 
 reach his coach-house. It really was time he did so, out of regard 
 for the peace of mind of the other gentlemen. However, they 
 also withdrew less than a quarter of an hour later. 
 
 Zazhmurin retired, but left a candle burning near the bed 
 which was prepared for Burdyakin, his friend the captain- 
 ispravnik, with whom ono is already acquainted, and who, to 
 the great astonishment of the judge, had not returned. How- 
 ever, at two o'clock in the morning there came a violent 
 knocking at the gate in the courtyard. Zazhmurin awoke and
 
 342 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 sat up in bed. The three servants whom he had brought with 
 him from the countrj'- were sleeping, fully dressed, on the floor 
 of the ante-room. 'Zazhmurin roused them and despatched 
 them to the gate, and a moment later Burdyakin entered like a 
 bomb, pale, disordered, his hair unkempt, and a cloak for his 
 only garment. 
 
 " Where have you been ? " asked Zazhmurin, with mingled 
 interest and anxiety. 
 
 " Oh, don't speak of it ! I have jttst come from a place 
 where they will never catch me again. It is the first time in my 
 life that I have been there, and it will be the last. Hey, there, 
 some cold water ! I cannot recover from my fright." 
 
 "Tell me what is the matter with you." 
 
 " Don't ask me." 
 
 " But your boots, your breeches, your cap ? " 
 
 " Heaven be praised ! I am safe and sound myself ; the deuce 
 take my effects ! Hey, there, boy ! Some ice, some ice, quick, 
 and rub my back, the whole of my back! " 
 
 " There's something amiss, I see; so I shall get up, and 
 make a declaration to the police." 
 
 "No, pray do nothing of the sort ! In the name of heaven, 
 do not stir ! Another investigation — that would be a pretty 
 mess. I have only been to a dancing-school ; but if my wife 
 knew that I had set foot in such an establishment, she would 
 never let me come to the elections again. And then farewell to 
 all my fine hopes ! " 
 
 " What the deuce were you doing at a dancing- school ? " 
 
 " Eh ! There was a reason for my going there." 
 
 "What reason ? Come tell me all, " anxiously said the judge, 
 putting on his dressing-gown and his velvet cap. 
 
 " I was at the marshal's house," replied Burdyakin, "and 
 they were urging me to present myself as a candidate for one 
 of the judgeships. I did not wish to do so. I repulsed their 
 ofiers, but they continued to promise me their votes, and I felt 
 on the point of yielding. ' Bah ! ' I said to myself, ' I shall go 
 to Khramikin's and talk about something else.' I arrive. I 
 find him at home, and he says to me at once, ' Bravo ! let's go 
 to the dancing-school.' " 
 
 "So you went?" 
 
 " So we went. As he disposes of two votes, there is not 
 much that one can refuse him in election time. The deuce 
 knows to what school he took me ! There was a great illumina- 
 tion and a lot of music, I know. It reminded me of my 
 wedding ; but my heart began beating in a very diflerent
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 343 
 
 manner, even in the ante-room. Ah ! what a surprise ; I be- 
 held two lovely black eyes, and I was pressing my suit, when a 
 big fellow with a stick came in ; but — Oh, dear ! oh, dear ! oh, 
 dear ! Ahi, ahi, ahi ! Softly there ! lah, lah ! " 
 
 The servants were rubbing away with some ice at the ill- 
 used back- of the poor captain-ispravnik. After the ice, he had 
 some hot napkins applied to his bruised loins ; then they drew 
 on him a clean white shirt, and he fell asleep. Zazhmurin, 
 having accurately divined what school his colleague had come 
 from, allowed him to fall into a profound slumber, which, bene- 
 ficial as it was, frustrated all his hopes of election, for he was 
 obliged to keep his room for several days. 
 
 Our friend Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikoff", unlike the others, 
 did not become agitated or discomposed by the elections. He 
 went to bed like a genuine rustic, long before eleven o'clock. 
 On the following morning, the 15th of September, he pulled on 
 his trousers, washed himself in plenty of vvater, carefully rub- 
 bing down his face, his neck, his chest, and his arms. He had 
 just donned his Tartar dressing-gown, when through the door- 
 way, which his valet had left half open, he beheld the visage of his 
 tailor's assistant, who was carefully carrying a hght package 
 enveloped in a large silk handkerchief. 
 
 "Is it ready ? " inquired Tchitchikoff. 
 
 " Quite ready, sir," responded the tailor, putting down his 
 bundle and extracting the pins. 
 
 " And it will become me ? " 
 
 " It ought to," replied the artist. 
 
 Tchitchikolf now took off his dressing-gown and donned 
 the uniform which the tailor had brought him. Placing him- 
 self in front of a mirror, he executed divers movements, after 
 which he remarked that the coat was perhaps a trifle tight under 
 the arms. 
 
 The tailor asserted, however, that it left nothing to be 
 desired. 
 
 "Very well," said Tchitchikoff; " but look here, if I move 
 like this and this, it impedes the action of my arms." 
 
 " The electors' assembly isn't a lake, sir, and you won't have 
 to swim through it as if for your life in order to reach the 
 shore ; you will sit still there, like all the other nobles of your 
 age." 
 
 "No doubt, no doubt," replied Tchitchikoff", somewhat morti- 
 fied to think that he had assumed the airs of a shipwrecked 
 mariner in the presence of his tailor. However, he could not 
 refrain from trying on his three-cornered hat, and from saying,
 
 Za DEAD SOULS. 
 
 as he inspected it, " Faith, I look like a general in this uniform : 
 don't you think so, my friend ? " 
 
 " Dressed like this, you are a real general." 
 
 " Do you think so ? And my face ? Hey ? " j 
 
 " Exactly the face which suits a general, and not an ordinary ' 
 general either." 
 
 " What ? An ordinary general ? Are there several sorts of 
 generals, then ? " 
 
 " Well, there is the American sort, sir." 
 
 "What nonsense ! Where did you get the idea that we ha^^e 
 American generals in Russia ? " 
 
 " They are called so." 
 
 " Who is called so ? " 
 
 " Why, the grandees, the high nobility, the noble lords who 
 are the owners of great estates." 
 
 "You lie! Come, now; I can see that you are a great 
 humbug." 
 
 " I say what I know, that is all, sir." 
 
 " Well, here is the price of your work. Did you cut and 
 make it yourself ? " he added, as he gazed at his figure in the 
 glass. 
 
 "I did, sir." 
 
 " This money is for yourself ? " 
 
 " No ; it is for my master : if you will give me something for 
 myself you will afford me great pleasure, sir." 
 
 " Here, then, take this, and go and have a drink of tea to my 
 health." Thereupon our hero gave the fellow a silver rouble. 
 
 Once alone he assumed different poses in front of the mirror, , 
 saluted forwards, backwards, and obliquely, girded on his sword 
 of state, drew on his gloves, and, as the weather was very 
 fine, betook himself on foot to the assembly-house of the 
 nobility. 
 
 The bell had been ringing for half an hour already, to sound 
 the call to the elections ; the nobles arrived in increasing num- 
 bers as the time passed by, and before the door stood some 
 soldiers, who had been placed there as reinforcements for the 
 city police, which was represented by five or six agents. 
 
 The house where the nobility assembled was full of noise. 
 People were hurrying in and out. Acquaintances met and in- 
 dulged in the national practice of hugging and kissing, which did 
 not, however, exclude hand-shaking in the English fashion. In 
 the great hall Tchitchikoff perceived, not without some surprise, 
 a. throng of men who were saluting not only their acquaintances, 
 but even the strangers whofii they now saw for the first time.
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 315 
 
 Their air "was quiet and respectful, not to say obsequious : their 
 hair was smooth, and their chins freshly shaven. These gen- 
 tlemen were the candidates for the higher magisterial olHces 
 in that province. 
 
 The marshal of the nobility of the province, dressed in the 
 uniform of a gentleman of the bed-chamber to His Imperial 
 Majesty, made his entrance, bowing courteously on all sides. He 
 halted in the midst of the crowd, and conversed in a friendly 
 way with the nobles of his acquaintance. The district marshals 
 took it upon themselves to present to him the nobles of their 
 districts. Meanwhile the chief marshal did not cease to bow, 
 and he even gave his hand to some of the nobles as they 
 passed him. 
 
 Tchitchikoff had not counted upon so signal an honour, so 
 that he felt discomposed and surprised when the marshal oU'ered 
 him his hand with a good deal of warmth. His flattered self- 
 esteem immediately became apparent in his walk, in the manner 
 in which he carried his head, and in the air of his entire person. 
 He fully understood how much he had gained in the eyes of all 
 his coimtry neighbours ; indeed, all the nobles of his district stared 
 at him for several minutes, and some of them discovered that he 
 possessed the physiognomy of a diplomat. 
 
 " Tell me," said one noble to another, " why did the marshal 
 shake hands like that wdth Tchitchikoff? " 
 
 " It happened through absence of mind : it was chance, that 
 is all." 
 
 " No, no ! After giving him his hand, he raised his thick eye- 
 brows ; and I observed, that in looking at Tchitchikofi", as at a 
 person whom one is glad to find at his post, he uttered a sig- 
 nificant ah — ah — ah." 
 
 " Bah ! it was accident, or chance." 
 
 " Accident doesn't explain anything." 
 
 " Well, how am I to know Avhat you are asking about ? I 
 was looking up above, in the galleries." 
 
 "You, perhaps, have some acquaintances, relatives, here, 
 looking for you '? " 
 
 "Yes; but look at those ladies there. New arrivals surely, 
 new arrivals. We never have anything like them here, even at 
 fair-time. Look, look ! " 
 
 " Fine objects for enthusiasm, I must say ! Are we here to 
 ogle the women ? And to think that you have such a beauty 
 of a wife ! " 
 
 " What has that to do with the matter? A beauty, if you 
 like, yes. But the canons don't fol'bid one admiring the unicorn
 
 346 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 and the adder also, and therefore I wish to admire those two 
 ladies at closer range." 
 
 " Well, there he gpes ! What an idea ! But I shall not en- 
 dure this, and I shall go up-stairs to bring him back here." 
 
 While these two were chatting, the great majority of the 
 nobility had gathered round the large table at which the gover- 
 nor was seated. He was a fine, handsome man : he saluted 
 the assembly, and then, standing up, he delivered, as presiding 
 ofiicer, a speech brief and to the point, in which he announced 
 the opening of the elections. He begged those present, first of 
 all, to accompany him to church, in order to take the oath to 
 preserve impartiality in the voting, and not to elect as magis- 
 trates any men who were not roall}' worthy of exercising the 
 functions. 
 
 The church was situated in the principal street, which pre- 
 sented a very animated aspect that day. Uniforms of all the 
 branches of the service were visible, with carriages of all periods, 
 filled with electors and candidates on their way to church be- 
 tween the thick motley ranks formed by the populace, some 
 of whom gathered at the windows of the houses, even to the 
 very dormer-windows in the attics. 
 
 The church, usually rather large for its purposes, seemed 
 extremely small on this occasion. 
 
 After the ceremony of the oathj those who had taken part in 
 it dispersed throughout the city, some of them to return home, 
 others to hasten about and pay visits, and the majority to assure 
 themselves of a place at a good table, ready to take it by assault 
 if it did not present itself voluntarily. This was a day of fine 
 hopes for many. Many who had not breakfasted at all, and who 
 had dined very badly, suddenly made a copious supper, and felt 
 assured of an excellent dinner for several days to come. 
 
 On the following day, electoral business began by the reading 
 of a list, arranged in alphabetical order, of all such nobles in 
 the province who were, or who had been, in the hands'of the law. 
 After the proclamation of each name it was to be decided, by 
 vote, whether the bearer might, or might not, have a right to 
 take part in the election. 
 
 Tchitchikofi" was present when this afi'ecting perusal began, 
 and he could no longer keep his seat. His impatience was so 
 great, that several times he crept close to the secretary and 
 looked over his shoulder at the list he was reading. Then, 
 taking advantage of a momentary interruption, he asked the 
 secretary, in a low voice, if he would reach the letter T before 
 very long. The secretary courteously replied that he was just
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 347 
 
 about to begin the reading of the names having T as their ini- 
 tial letter. On obtaining this information, Pavel Ivanovitch re- 
 turned with anxiety to his seat, and said to his neighbours that 
 a decayed tooth was causing him horrible suftcring ; that he had 
 in vain hoped that the pain would cease ; that he realised the 
 necessity of having it extracted ; and that, in any case, he could 
 not remain amid so many draughts. Accordingly he left the 
 hall, and on arriving at his inn he threw himself on to his bed, 
 pending the serving of some pickled sturgeon, which he had 
 ordered that morning to be ready at four o'clock. 
 
 Half an hour at least had elapsed after Tchitchikoff's depar- 
 ture before the letter T was reached. The first name called was 
 that of a sub-lieutenant, A. P. Tchuvirin, who had been tried for 
 appropriating citizen Krovopatkin's cow by violence. The court 
 had acquitted Tchuvirin. 
 
 *' Let him vote ! " cried a number of voices. 
 
 G. P. Tchernofi", collegiate secretary, had been accused of de- 
 frauding the brandy revenues, and of having cruelly beaten the 
 collector. Acquitted on the first charge, he had been condemned 
 on the second to damages, as /reparation for the man who had 
 been beaten, and also to three days' arrest. 
 
 " Let him vote ! " was the cry, as in the preceding case. 
 
 Ivan Borisovitch Tchirnazoft", titular councillor, had been ac- 
 cused of cutting wood on crown land. 
 
 "Crown land! Exclude him! exclude him!" cried a hun- 
 dred voices at once, with an accent of wrath. 
 
 " Ivan Stepanitch Tzelikoft", collegiate assessor," now read 
 the secretary, " has been tried in court for having discharged a 
 loaded firearm in the middle of the public square." 
 
 " What ! Tzelikoft' discharged a loaded gun ? " said a gentle- 
 man M'ith curled hair, in a vivacious manner, " Positively 
 loaded '? " 
 
 "There is no doubt but that the gun was loaded," said 
 another person. 
 
 " Well, if the gun was not loaded, it was not possible to fire 
 it," remarked a third. 
 
 " Li-i-i-tle bo-o-o-y-s so-o-o-meti-i-i-mes b-b-burn pri-i-i- 
 ming for fun," said a gentleman who stammered in a very 
 painful manner. 
 
 " Why did not the secretary finish his sentence ? " now asked 
 a noble with leaden eyes and closely cropped hair. " Did 
 Tzelikoff kill anyone with his loaded gun ? " he added in a tone 
 of alarm. 
 
 " You are requested to be silent."
 
 348 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " Pray, wlio regulates the discussion here ? I ask whether 
 Tzelikoff killed or wounded anyone ? " 
 
 The uproar was increasing every moment. 
 
 " Gentlemen, gentlemen ! Silence, I beseech you," said the 
 marshal of the province, gently. 
 
 " I know all about it myself. I was present. Yes, indeed ! 
 he wounded my dog," began a portly gentleman, who had a re- 
 markable tuft of hair on his right cheek. 
 
 " By this discharge — " read the secretary, making an effort 
 to continue his perusal. 
 
 " Listen, Piotr Feodorovitch, listen ! That shot of Tzelikoff's 
 is being explained." 
 
 " What ? How ? One can't hear anything." 
 
 " Yes, the hubbub is going to begin now ; the whole orchestra 
 is tuning its instruments." , 
 
 " Speak louder, secretary, and proceed. Ahi ! ahi ! there's 
 somebody treading on my cursed corn again ! Who goes 
 there ? Ahi ! ahi ! What a rude lout ! He does not even 
 apologise." 
 
 "By this shot," now resumed the secretary, pitching his 
 voice an octave higher, "he inflicted mortal terror upon a lady 
 who was passing by. This lady was the wife of Mr. Shukin, 
 the inspector of police of that district ; and in consequence 
 of her fright, this lady, on reaching her home " 
 
 •'Ah ! If she died, that settles about the shot," interrupted 
 one of the nobles. 
 
 " In the name of heaven, gentlemen, listen, and donotinter- 
 rupt ! " exclaimed another. 
 
 " On reaching home," continued the secretary, " she took to 
 her bed, and gave birth to two children, who proved to be of the 
 male sex." 
 
 Great laughter now burst forth. " Very good. But how about 
 the mother '? ' ' 
 
 " The mother and her children are in the best possible health. 
 As a result of the investigation which followed, Tzelikoff was 
 .exonerated from all responsibility." 
 
 " Let him vote, then ! " was the cry on all sides. 
 
 *' It would be too severe to deprive this man of his rights as 
 an elector. He has suggested a new means of assisting 
 nature." 
 
 " What you say is quite true. And, by the way, how is 
 your mare ? Has she foaled ? ' ' 
 
 " Oh ! I have sold her to a horse-dealer. But you have not 
 heard of the adventure ? "
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 349 
 
 " Silence, silence there ! " shouted an usher. 
 
 " Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikoff, councillor of state," now 
 read the secretary, "accused of forgery in connection with a 
 will." 
 
 " Ah ! for a nobleman that is rather bad. Exclude him ! ex- 
 clude him ! " 
 
 " Hey ? W-w-w-hat ? H-h-how ? " said the noble with the 
 painful stammer. " F-f-f-f-f-for-gery in precious stones and di- 
 di-di-di-a-monds '? " 
 
 " Are you deaf? " retorted a neighbour, " You Avere told, 
 for forgery in connection with a will." 
 
 " Ha, ha ! I un-understand it. Vari-ous messes. In the e-e- 
 e-lec-tions ? But how did it con-con-cern the tri-tri-bu-nals?" 
 resumed the stammering gentleman, who was a bit of a fool. 
 
 " Hush-sh-sh-sh ! Silence, I beg of you!" now said the 
 marshal of the province. 
 
 " Accused of forgery, in connection with a will, and of having 
 purchased from divers noble owners of inhabited estates a num- 
 ber of deceased peasant-serfs, dead souls, with and without the 
 land they occupied. After due investigation, however, Pavel 
 Ivanovitch Tchitchikoff was released as not guilty." 
 
 "What? What? Dead souls ? " 
 
 " Yes, he was accused of having jnirchased dead souls — some- 
 thing absurd, eh ? " 
 
 " Wh-wh-a-at ? He pur-pur-chased the-e-e will of a de-de-ad 
 wo-wo-man ? " said the deaf gentleman who stammered. 
 
 "Ah, my dear sir, how tiresome you are ! Why, open your 
 cars ! I answer you for the last time : he purchased some thou- 
 sands of dead souls." 
 
 " Did you say dead souls ? Ah, good heavens ! it is impos- 
 sible to hear ; it is a perfect Babel here." 
 
 " How scandalous ! I shall take my departure ; the secre- 
 trry reads one thing, and then the people talk of another." 
 
 " Not at all. This is the exact fact : he appropriated a large 
 inheritance, and purchased several ancient cemeteries with the 
 money." 
 
 "Impossible ; " 
 
 " Read the passage again ! Read it again ! " cried a large 
 portion of the noble assemblage. " And come nearer to us. 
 Here, here ; this is a good place ; it is the exact centre of the 
 hall." 
 
 " No, no," shouted the others ; " more to the right, to the 
 right; that's the real centre ; here, nearer us." 
 
 The secretary placed himself in the very centre of the hall ;
 
 350 DKAD SOULS. 
 
 then he coughed, and began to read anew. " Pavel Ivanovitch 
 Tchitchikofl', councillor of state, accused of forgery in connection 
 with a will, and accused of having purchased from divers noble 
 owners a number of 'deceased peasant-serfs — dead souls." 
 
 At these words frightful uproar and confusion ensued. Most 
 of the electors rose to their feet. 
 
 " This is strange news ! " cried one. 
 
 " Crime upon crime ! " exclaimed another. 
 
 " What an abomination ! " 
 
 ' ' This man is an adventurer, a speculator — that's what 
 he is! " 
 
 "Oh, but what an idea that is of disinterring the dead ! " 
 
 " Did he mean to make bone-black out of them ? " 
 
 " Was it ever discovered what he intended to do with those 
 bones and corpses ? " 
 
 * ' I think that saltpetre can be made from tombs ; and the 
 bones would yield ashes which might certainly be utilised in 
 commerce : for my part " 
 
 ' ' What horrors that man is uttering ! It is a case, a case, 
 such a case, you see, as no one ever imagined. When I tell my 
 Avife about this she will say that I am lying." 
 
 " Why tell her about it then ? Why incur a scolding ? What 
 is the use of seeking quarrels ? Don't little spars arise of them- 
 selves without that ? I shall not say a word to my wife about 
 this abominable affair." 
 
 " Well, I shall tell it all to mine ; otherwise she will hear of it 
 from someone else, and that will furnish her with a good pre- 
 text for a quarrel." 
 
 " But why did he purchase the dead souls ? " 
 
 The chief marshal had preserved his patience up to this point; 
 but realising that this case must be disposed of, he armed him- 
 self with his bell, and rang it until the most complete silence was 
 established ; then he said to the assembly : " Gentlemen, there 
 appears to be a difference of opinion as to whether this gentle- 
 man shall be admitted into the assembly. Will you resort to 
 the ballot ? 
 
 " Yes, yes ; very good." 
 
 " Now is the time, or never." 
 
 "The ballot, the ballot!" 
 
 The balls were brought, and they proceeded to the ballot. 
 
 "Ah, how I should like to see that fellow Tchitchikoff and 
 judge his face, his personal appearance, his manners ! " 
 
 "He certainly must look like a sharper and rascal — like an 
 undertaker's man at the least."
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF; 351 
 
 "jNot at all: everyone was sayiug yesterday that lie is still 
 a young man, rather plump, with a rosy complexion, fine bear- 
 ing, and of good style." 
 
 "It is said that he has served in the Imperial Guards." 
 
 " Tchitchikoff ? Really? Come, tell us, Trofim Petrovitch ; 
 since he belongs to your district you must know him." 
 
 " No, I don't; he's not known in our district; there is no 
 person of that name there." 
 
 " He was an agent for the settlement of disputed claims in 
 Siberia." 
 
 " Well, we must find out from what district he comes : but of 
 whom can we inquire ? " 
 
 "Oh! he came here straight from Kamtchatka, riding on a 
 reindeer." 
 
 "Ha! ha! ha!" 
 
 "I tell you that it is a very grave case." 
 
 " Tchetchelkoff, Tchetchelkoff ! " soliloquised one gentleman. 
 "What funny names one encounters in the world nowadays! 
 And so trading in dead souls leads to nobility ! Bravissimo ! 
 How great is our good mother Russia ! She contains all sorts 
 of people naturally, and all kinds of industries and trades arc 
 plied within her. And now we have this fellow Tchetchclkofi'." 
 
 " What do you mean by your Tchetchelkoff? " interrupted a 
 neighbour. "Who and what is Tchetchelkofi'? The name has been 
 read to you a score of times plainly enough ; it is Tchetchanin, 
 and not Tchetchelkoff at all : it enrages me to hear proper names 
 mutilated." 
 
 " Pooh ! pooh ! " burst in another person. " The real name 
 is Tchitchikoff. Mr. Tchitchikoff" is here, here in this very hall. 
 He has a fine appearance ; and the general expression of his 
 face is of a kind to inspire, or at least it has the reputation of 
 inspiring " 
 
 " Very good, very good, Vasiliy Lukitch ! " shouted jet a 
 fourth noble. "Oh heavens! when that fellow undertakes to 
 talk, and, above all, to analyse, there is never any end to it." 
 
 An uncle and a nephew, v.ho were seated side by side, now 
 joined in the chatter. 
 
 " Admit him, admit him ! " said the nephcAV. "Mr. Tchit- 
 chikoff must be admitted ! He imrchased, and since he pur- 
 chased, that signifies that he paid for, his souls. If, instead of 
 buying them, he had robbed, carried off, stolen — then it would 
 be necessary to exclude him and to prosecute him." 
 
 "No doubt," rejoined the uncle. "And we should demand 
 that he be stripped of his title of noble."
 
 352 DEAD SOTTLS. 
 
 At this moment a third person stepped up to the uncle and 
 the nephew. He was a short, wrinkled old man in an ancient, 
 naval uniform, with a^worn embroidered collar. His whole face 
 was covered with perspiration, and his grey hair was plastered 
 down on his temples. This old sea-dog seemed very agitated. 
 He had already searched every corner of the room ; he had now 
 reached the centre of it, and his eyes roved in every direction. 
 On approaching the people of whom we have spoken he said, 
 with a preoccupied, serious air : " Gentlemen, will you have 
 the great kindness to tell me what price TchitchikofF paid for a 
 dead soul — I mean his average price ? " 
 
 " Seven roubles and seventy-five copecks, paper money," 
 gravely replied a stout gentleman, as he held a huge silver 
 snuflf-box under his nose, and regaled himself methodically and 
 delightedly with pinches of the aromatic powder. 
 
 " Of the male sex, or the other ? " 
 
 " Both — male and female." 
 
 The mariner's face lighted up; then he assumed an air of 
 mystery, and added — 
 
 " Did he merely purchase grown-up persons, or did he take 
 children as well ? " 
 
 " I have told j'^ou what he did : he bought souls. You ought 
 to know what souls are." '■' 
 
 "Yes — but just one word. Will you have the kindness to 
 point out this Tchitchikofi" to me, or to tell me where he is to 
 be found at the present moment — in what part of the hall ? " 
 
 " Stay, look yonder, there — there against the pillar at the 
 corner of the gallery. You see that tall, thin, ugly man, with 
 long, whitish, untidy hair, and tortoise-shell spectacles ? He 
 has a face easily noticed, and he's Tchitchikofi"." 
 
 The naval ofiicer gave a leap like a kid, and then he went 
 off at so violent and ungovernable a pace that he flung two 
 heavy gentlemen flat on the floor, overturned three arm-chairs, 
 upset numerous benches, and at length reached the unkempt 
 
 * The ex-officer's question was a very natural one. In Russia, only 
 male serls were counted as souls, but this did not prevent the landowners 
 from deriving a very good revenue also from the female serfs on their 
 estates, to whom they gave permission to go to the towns and support 
 themselves there by their work, in consideration of their paying a stipu- 
 lated sum [oeroZ:]. These women have been known to pay more than 
 their fathers, brothers, or husbands, rather than return to the village. 
 The children were not required to pay any obrok until they grew up, 
 but they were employed in a great many little services which grown men 
 could not perform . It was only the children, without regard to their 
 sex, who were of no account in the eyes of the tax-collectors.
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 353 
 
 man with the tortoise-shell spectacles. Having seized him con- 
 vulsively by the arms and dragged him to a deserted corner, 
 the naval officer addressed him with a great many bows, accom- 
 panying each of his words with abrupt movements of his arms, 
 eyelids, and head. However, the unkempt man smiled with a 
 scornful air, surve5'ed the eloquent ancient mariner from head to 
 foot, thrust out his under lip, and shrugged his thin shoulders. 
 
 " Seriously, then, you are not Tchitchikoff ?" urged the retired 
 officer. 
 
 " Pray, do me the honour to tell me what you want of me. 
 I have not the honour of knowing you. Excuse me." And then 
 the fellow with the tumbled hair made a movement as if about 
 to depart. 
 
 " Xo, no, you shall not thus escape me, noble and generous 
 Tchitchikofi" ! " exclaimed the ancient mariner. "You must 
 purchase my one hundred and forty souls, of both sexes, who 
 died of cholera : you must indemnify me, at least in part, for 
 that cruel loss. Give an old mariner, his sons, and grand- 
 children due cause to bless your name for ever." 
 
 ""Will you please to leave me alone!" said the unkempt 
 man. " What the deuce do you mean by all the ridiculous 
 things that you are saying to me ? " 
 
 " Everyone seeks his own advantage : that is quite natural. 
 I have so much respect for the traffic which you have engaged 
 in, and I regard it as so perfectly legitimate, that I am willing 
 to deduct twenty-five copecks from the price which you usually 
 give for each dead soul, simply so as to enjoy the pleasure of 
 assisting in the success of your operations in the measure of 
 my means." 
 
 "Once more," retorted the unkempt gentleman, "I beg of 
 you to cease your raillery. Do not force me to say harsh things 
 to you." 
 
 "I certainly have no occasion to expect the least coarse 
 ■word from so wise a man as yourself. Let us strike the bargain 
 here between ourselves ; as for the contract and the money, I 
 will go to your house with 3'ou." 
 
 " Oh ! you will, will you ? " 
 
 " Yes; don't feel at all uneasy about that. I shall have no 
 difficulty in finding your house ; I should even find it were it 
 situated at the bottom of the sea. And so my honourable friend 
 Pavel " 
 
 This private colloquy was at this moment interrupted by the 
 silence which suddenly prevailed throughout the hall. The 
 secretary proclaimed the result of the voting. 
 
 z
 
 354 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " The ballot wliicli has just taken place with reference to 
 Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikoff, councillor of state, has resulted 
 in the maintenance of his right, by 499 ayes against 87 noes. 
 Mr. Tchitchikoff is admitted as a member of the assembly by a 
 majority of 412 votes." 
 
 " I congratulate you ! " said the naval officer, turning to the 
 unkempt gentleman. 
 
 " May the devil confound you ! " replied the latter, and he 
 hurriedly made off through the different groups of bystanders. 
 
 The reading of the list was then resumed, and concluded in 
 half an hour's time. Several propositions were then submitted 
 to the assembly. Some of these proposals offered an occasion 
 for a great deal of uproar, and the voices raised within the hall 
 became audible outside. All the members who had contrived to 
 appease their stomachs with a breakfast, without their absence 
 having been noticed, held out. At each proposition, many still 
 shouted and declaimed jwo and contra at random. Some, aproiMS 
 of nothing, demanded a ballot. However, all ended by feeling 
 the prick of hunger, and were charmed to hear the governor 
 adjourn the deliberations upon the seven or eight propositions 
 which still remained to be discussed until the close of the elec- 
 tions. In fact, the actual, final resolution was, that the secre- 
 tary was to be allowed full liberty in all these matters. 
 
 There is one good thing about these days of electoral assem- 
 blies — a man is able, if not always to obtain certain satisfaction 
 for his self-love, at least to feast, and find relaxation from his 
 ordinary cares. Very few gentlemen are to be met with who 
 do not end by unreservedly signing everything that the secre- 
 tary of the nobility presents to them, everything which he pre- 
 pares, or means to prepare, upon numerous sheets of paper, 
 without caring to hamper his agile pen, or even to spoil his 
 appetite by annoying subtilties. 
 
 That evening our hero felt infinitely better than he had felt 
 at the assembly. It is to be supposed that three helps of the 
 pickled sturgeon and a bottle of old CluUeau Larose, which he 
 absorbed in order to get rid Jof the boredom consequent upon 
 several hours of solitude, had a salutary effect upon his maxillary 
 nerve ; at all events, he had no occasion to place himself in the 
 hands of any dentist. He took his round hat and a long, wadded 
 surtout, and set out lounging about the streets, with a handsome 
 Indian cane in his hand. All the houses in the town, all the 
 lodgings, good or bad, the smallest chambers, the pettiest garden- 
 pavilions, were filled to overflowing ; the hostelries and restau- 
 rants were glittering with lights ; their doors were fairly besieged
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 355 
 
 with carriages, both public and private, of all sizes, shapes, and 
 names. The so-called harmony of itinerant orchestras, com- 
 j)osed of foreign artists, mostly Bohemians, rang out intrepidly 
 and with impunity from several halls. The nobility were spend- 
 ing their gold in costly breakfasts and dinners. Excepting one 
 or two highly renowned vintages, the only Avine absorbed was 
 champagne ; whilst the only water partaken of was the famous 
 natural seltzer water. Whilst they ate and drank to excess, 
 proposing toasts of great originality, a vast quantity of promises 
 to treat So-and-so with black balls, and the host of the day with 
 white ones, burst forth as though bubbling from the heart. 
 Vain words, forgotten as soon as uttered ! On the following 
 day the balls were dropped according to the impulse or the 
 caprice of the moment, according to the influence of connec- 
 tions or the strength of parties, which became more sharply 
 outlined at the decisive moment. 
 
 " At the last elections," said Burdyakin to a friend at the 
 street-corner, " the late So-and-so gave a third person the sup- 
 port which he had promised to mo that very morning. He did 
 not like to see me elected to that modest office. However, God 
 punished him for his rascality : he died five months after his 
 treachery." 
 
 " One thing is certain," replied the other, " that not one hair 
 of our heads falls without the will of God. But to-day you want 
 to become a judge ; well, what shall you do in that office ? " 
 
 " I ? The first thing I shall do will bo to attend to the 
 things which my predecessor wrongfully neglected. As a 
 preliminary step, I shall purify the audience chamber ; and it is 
 only after having had all parts of the place properly blessed, 
 that I shall show myself. And you may be sure that I shan't 
 listen to anyone, but act entirely on my own judgment." 
 
 " According to your own judgment — h'm ! Yes, if Ivan Feo- 
 dorovitch will allow it." 
 
 " Ivan Feodorovitch has no chance whatever of being chosen 
 marshal." 
 
 " May heaven hear you ! But let us go into that cafu there 
 — the evening dew is falling ; I am shivering." 
 
 "You call that a cafe ! AVhy it is a tavern, not to say a 
 cavern. There are twenty brawlers in there, gorging themselves 
 with champagne, while three merry girls, in very low dresses, 
 play on the harp and sing to them, God only knows what 
 sprightly songs. To think that those wretched fellows are all 
 married men, and yet they sit there devouring those women
 
 356 DEAD SOtTLS. 
 
 with their eyes ! And fancy, they were not ashamed to invite 
 me ! " 
 
 " And you ? " 
 
 " Well, I looked in just to see what was going on there, and 
 then I speedily stole away. Would j^ou believe it, that many 
 persons, in consequence of this permanent orgy, will be forced 
 to set out for their villages after this evening ? They had 
 brought with them enough money to live on for a month or 
 more, but in three days they are drained dry, and now they say 
 that unforeseen circumstances recall them home as speedily as 
 possible." 
 
 "Ah, good evening, Pavel Ivanovitch," said Burdyakin at 
 this moment to Tchitchikofi", who happened to come along. 
 "You were at the assembly to-day?" he continued, looking 
 intently at our hero. 
 
 " Yes, I spent two hours there. I had taken a toothache 
 there with me, and the draughts increased it to such a degree 
 that I was obliged to return to my inn." 
 
 " I also went to the assembly, in spite of a very bad cold, but 
 I went later on, so" that I did not meet you. Just imagine, they 
 mentioned your affairs, your trial — a lot of nonsense, in fact." 
 
 "Indeed! what was it?" said Tchitchikoff, ignoring the 
 fact that anything could have been said to his disadvantage. 
 
 " Why, some trial which you underwent was mentioned ; and, 
 although it was said that you had been released, they laughed 
 and talked and railed at you. After all, the nobility doesn't 
 wish you ill. So as to uphold you, I went from one person to 
 another through the hall, talking, insisting, flattering, beseech- 
 ing, and promising ; and, by my faith, I succeeded ; your elec- 
 toral rights were recognised by a large majority of votes." 
 
 " Well, I never suspected anything of the sort," said our hero. 
 
 " Listen : let me advise you, between ourselves, to come for- 
 ward boldly as a candidate for the marshalship. Believe me, 
 your district is very well disposed towards you at the present 
 moment, and you will be elected." 
 
 " I don't aspire to that office ; it makes one lead a bustling, 
 restless life," said Tchitchikoff aloud, but all the while he 
 thought to himself, " That would be very flattering." 
 
 " Yes, indeed ! Well, Pavel Ivanovitch, that is a very wise 
 course of yours ; don't put yourself forward ; you are, and 
 will remain, a remarkably sensible man, not only in your own 
 ■district but throughout the province. Look at Zazhmurin : 
 "what does he lack ? A good fever, perhaps ; at all events, he 
 is rich and intelligent,' and expert in rural management. But, no
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 357 
 
 matter ; here he is burning to become marshal. He has been 
 warned that he will be black-balled, but he won't listen to any- 
 thing. He hopes on, and do you know why ? This is the way he 
 calculates. Oh, he's a cunning fellow ! To-morrow and the 
 day after are to be devoted to the solution of a multitude of 
 questions ; the third day is Sunday ; then the arrival of several 
 gentlemen from all the districts is expected. In these three 
 days many of the people already here will have expended all 
 the money they had brought with them on cards, drinks, feasts, 
 and orgies, and then they will recollect that Zazhmurin has a 
 pocket well padded with bills of credit.* He will lend them 
 money at six per cent, on good notes guaranteed by the most 
 solvent among them ; and, more than that, he will make the 
 borrowers swear on their honour to vote for him. And yet, I 
 ask you, how can a pig's snout like that man aspire to be mar- 
 shal of the nobility ? " 
 
 " He impresses me as an honest man, and I don't see why he 
 should be driven to purchase votes," remarked our hero. 
 
 " Well, pray do me the pleasure of dropping in a black ball 
 for him, and in m)'' opinion j^ou ought to do the same for every- 
 one except Melekitchentzoii'. As for myself, the general desire 
 has obliged me to come forward as a candidate for a judgeship; 
 these are grave functions. It is a terrible thing to judge one's 
 fellow-men when one knows that at the last judgment one will 
 have to render an account of one's decisions, and j-et I have 
 made up my mind to it ; and I shall be an exemplary magistrate, 
 you may depend upon that." 
 
 " It will be very meritorious on your part," said our hero. 
 " But what sort of a man is this Melekitchentzofl' of yours ? " 
 
 " A millionaire ! That is the man who ought to be elected. 
 That is the man who will make an accomplished marshal. Do 
 you know, he has promised to give a great dinner, where he 
 will regale everyone with Dutch milk ? I am acquainted with 
 Dutch cheese, and I am very fond of it. So, for that reason 
 alone, I have decided to assist him in becoming marshal of 
 the district. My wife is very fond of Dutch cheese, and my 
 eldest daughter also ; but milk, the real Dutch milk, that's a 
 thing that neither I nor my wife nor my children have ever 
 tasted. Well, MelekitchentzotF has brought some from the Low 
 Countries — a hogshead, a largo hogshead of it — and, just 
 imagine it, ho has brought it in his carriage ! " 
 
 * At that period certain Lills of credit oirculiited throughout Russia 
 just like hank-notes.
 
 358 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 " It is of Viktor ApoUonovitch ^ that you are speaking, 
 surely?" said a gentleman with a shrill voice, who had just 
 halted behind Burdyakin. 
 
 "Yes, of Melekitchentzoff, certainly." 
 
 " But what is this milk of which you were just speaking ? " 
 
 " Milk, what ? Why, milk, Dutch milk." 
 
 " That isn't milk at all ; you have been misled. It isn't milk, 
 but whey ; and not common Dutch whey, but what is called 
 Amsterdam whey. I have tasted it." 
 
 " Don't believe him, Pavel Ivanovitch ; he's lying. Well, let 
 us see if you have tasted it," resumed the captain-ispravnik ; 
 "tell us what it tastes like, and what effect it has on the 
 stomach." 
 
 "That's a fine question to ask! The whey which Viktor 
 ApoUonovitch has brought is acid and bitter, salt and sweetish, 
 at one and the same time." 
 
 "I suspected as much ; ah, ah, ah! the jokers ! they have 
 made him swallow some sea-water. Water, water, I tell you ; 
 it was salt water — that's what it was. I must tell you that 
 Melekitchentzoff has brought with him from the west a number 
 of men, birds, fish, and divers objects ; among other things, he 
 brought some very small shell-fish, which are called mussels, I 
 believe, to treat the poor pupils at a school in which he takes an 
 interest. Oh, what a fine thing it is to be rich ! Well, in order 
 to keep these shell-fish fresh, they had to be preserved in salt 
 water ; and it is probably that water, which the prince's ser- 
 vants, at his request, made this gentleman drink. He has swal- 
 lowed a jarful of salt water, spoonful by spoonful. That's what 
 he knows about Dutch milk. Come, now, my dear fellow." 
 
 " Come, yourself ! The custom-house wouldn't allow salt 
 water to pass ? " 
 
 " And why not ? it is for use ; the doctor has prescribed sea- 
 water for me to drink. I can drink nothing else, so the custom- 
 house allows it to pass ; it must allow it." 
 
 " It may be as you say ; so be it. But let us discuss serious 
 matters. Did you know that in the assembly they wanted to 
 elect me as assessor of the court of this district ? The proposal 
 is very disagreeable to me — oh, very disagreeable indeed ! I 
 begged of them, and prayed of them, not to think of it ; but no, 
 they wouldn't listen to me. They will force my nomination 
 upon me, the wretches!" At this point the drinker of sea- 
 water suddenly drew the captain-ispravnik on one side, to 
 ask him, "Pray, who is this gentleman whom you have with 
 you ? "
 
 MISERY AXD GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 359 
 
 "That is Pavel Ivanovitch Tchitchikofi' ; he can dispose of 
 two votes, and holds two more in reserve." 
 
 " Permit me, sir," now said the candidate for the office of 
 assessor, in a honeyed voice, " permit me to introduce myself 
 to you : I am the governmental secretary, Tchyerin ; my lands 
 lie in your district ; I am a neighbour of Mr. Burdyakin ; " and 
 here he walked towards Tchitchikoft'. 
 
 "I am much flattered, sir," responded Tchitchikofl', while 
 he walked on in front of him. 
 
 "Until to-day I have not been bold enough to introduce my- 
 self to you ; excuse my thus accosting you with a request. 
 When they vote for me — my name is Tchyerin — when they 
 vote for me, black-ball me. Yes, I beg of you, black-ball me. 
 No doubt I should be, on every occasion and wholly, at the 
 command of the nobility if I were elected. I should cherish 
 no other ambition than that of trying to please every gentle- 
 man belonging to our set ; but, nevertheless, you will oblige 
 me, and that greatly, if you will kindly vote against me." 
 
 " If the other persons who know you esteem you worthy of 
 the post of 'assessor, I shall not vote differently to the nobility 
 of the district ; indeed, I shall vote in your favour if the other 
 people do so." 
 
 "Asj'ou please; at all events, receive the homage of my 
 respectful devotion." 
 
 After speaking these words, this solicitor ran off to pay his 
 court elsewhere. Tchitchikoff glanced to right and to left, and 
 no longer saw him anywhere. 
 
 " What sort of a fellow is this Tchyerin, your neighbour in 
 the country ? " he asked Burdyakin. 
 
 " A passed-master in card-playing. Oh, he never fears 
 sharpers, whoever they may be." 
 
 *' Then he himself is a little bit in that line ? " 
 
 " Yes, he is ; so put in a black ball for him, and another 
 black one for Kostlyakin also." 
 
 " Who is Kostlyakin?" 
 
 "A landowner, nothing more. I wanted to marry his 
 daughter with a brother of my wife's, a fine fellow, who had 
 just been promoted to the rank of lieutenant, and had already 
 been promised a troop. Well, Kostlyakin had the effrontery to 
 reply to the young man's request, ' Begin by getting the troop, 
 and then come and make your proposal to me.' Can anyone 
 conceive it — such an animal refusing to ally his family with 
 mine ? Black-ball Vuirkin also. As for Yerebnikoff, take care ! 
 He is a ferret ; distrust him, and black-ball him, too. Knaplin,
 
 360 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 too, ought to have a good black ball ; however, do as you think 
 fit about him. Stay, I have two other friends — Ivan Telkin 
 and Piotr Telkin, two cousins, against one of whom I strongly 
 recommend you to cast black balls." 
 
 " Well, I shall have a hard time of it ; you have mentioned 
 seven or eight people to me, and I really fear that I shall make 
 some mistake." 
 
 " Do you wish to render me a service ? " 
 
 "I desire it greatly." 
 
 " Well, listen ! Each time that you receive your balls from the 
 hand of the marshal, hand them to me, and I will deposit them 
 according to your desires, as one's oath, honour, and conscience 
 require." 
 
 " Well, we will see about it." 
 
 *' Good evening, Pavel Ivanovitch." 
 
 "Adieu." 
 
 " What is the matter with them all ? " said Tchitchikoff to 
 himself, as he re-entered his chamber at the inn ; " why are 
 they thus excited ? One finds nothing but lying, fraud, and 
 hypocrisy at every step. The elections are useful in many 
 respects, as a privilege conferred on the nobility ; but in the 
 practice, in the exercise of the right, there is a little too much 
 perfidy and malignity. I am not ambitious of any office, cer- 
 tainly ; I only came here to divert my mind from my occupa- 
 tions as a landowner, and I find nothing but worry. Instead of 
 remaining here any longer, I should do better to go and busy 
 myself about the v/elfare of my peasants, the education of my 
 young family, and many other things which would prove bene- 
 ficial either to me, or my family, when I am gone. I must be 
 honest ; that accursed ambition, or rather that petty vanity, al- 
 ways oppresses my heart, after creeping in to it like a serpent. 
 It is only too true, that I should like to be elected marshal of 
 the nobility of our district. It seems that that is the goal of a 
 noble's desires, and all these parties and intrigues are due to it. 
 Whatever I do or say, it seems as though someone were every 
 moment urging me on, and shouting in my ears, ' Announce 
 yourself as a candidate ; try, try ! perhaps you will succeed ! * 
 One unhappy man has undermined his whole fortune for the 
 sake of collecting the nobility at his house ; he is ruining him- 
 self, and all his family, by his extravagant expenditure. Still 
 he never gets discouraged, but hopes to be elected marshal 
 in spite of all the afi"ronts and discomfitures he meets with. 
 There are also a great many aspirants this year, and very few 
 offices to be filled up. Ought not I to postpone my candidature
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 361 
 
 until the next election ? But no : three years arc three centuries ! 
 Shall I be alive and in health three years hence ? I should like 
 to serve as marshal for eight or nine mouths, or a year at the 
 most ; then I would hand in a peremptory resignation ; that 
 would be the thing. Oh ! if I could only have the pleasure of 
 signing my name, in my clear, firm handwriting, on patents 
 of nobility, or on a circular addressed to all my noble elec- 
 tors ! " 
 
 Tchitchikoff was so engrossed with this last idea that, with- 
 out thinking, he placed a sheet of paper before him, seized a 
 pen, and Avrote with one sweep of the hand in magisterial, 
 flowing calligraphy, " Tchitchikofi', Marshal of the Nobihty." 
 Then he glanced about him, twisted the paper up, burned it in 
 the flame of his candle, and thought, as he took off his clothes, 
 " What a miserable creature is man ! After many tempests, I 
 have entered a haven of safety, but my heart and my imagina- 
 tion have followed me into it ; and in the absence of real 
 troubles coming from without, I create for myself, by my own 
 fanc)', subjects of irritation and false hopes, which do not 
 allow me to taste the sweets of repose." 
 
 Three days elapsed, and the noisy elections for the district 
 began. The streets were crowded from sunrise by equipages 
 coming and going, filled, most of them, too, to excess, with 
 members of the country nobility, in their grand uniforms. 
 Some even went modestly on foot to each other's houses ; and 
 when men who were tolerably sure of each other met, they 
 alighted from their carriages or halted and exchanged embraces. 
 They could be seen saluting each other at fabulous distances, 
 and the most flattering hopes were depicted on their faces. 
 
 The turmoil aroused Tchitchikofl' long before his ordinary 
 hour of rising ; he hastened to his window, and amused himself 
 with watching an enormous britchka, drawn by two horses with 
 long, badly-groomed coats, and containing five portly gentle- 
 men in full dress. 
 
 " Generals, upon my word ! all generals to-day ! It's a 
 regular invasion of generals," said he ; then, having donned 
 his own gala attire, he studied two or three noble attitudes 
 before his mirror, and with his arms crossed on his breast 
 and his head borne loftily, though shghtly upon one side, he said 
 with much assurance and in a loud tone of voice, " I know 
 nothing about the others ; let people look at us all, and de- 
 cide for themselves. There arc no doubt some wealthy men 
 in this motley throng, men who are cultivated in mind, and 
 handsome in person ; but I — I alone, probably, realise the
 
 362 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 ideal of a general — an American gmej-al." And. tears, due to 
 egotistical tenderness and of a vague uneasiness, bathed the 
 rosy cheeks of our hero ; while he said to himself, " Lord Grod, 
 what is it that is taking place withia me ? Why these tears ? 
 It is my accursed ambition which weeps, knowing that it can- 
 not be gratified. This ambition is a worm, gnawing at my 
 heart, surfeiting itself upon my blood, living on me and in me, 
 and which will only die when I die ; to curse it is equivalent to 
 cursing myself." 
 
 Tchitchikoff then entered his carriage, and drove to the 
 assembly. On the way he was stared at, for he was not one 
 of those men who never have a thought depicted on their brows. 
 He was especially noticed by the populace, because he distanced 
 not only the pedestrians, but all the other carriages. Half of 
 the street and three-quarters of the grand square were encum- 
 bered with vehicles. 
 
 The soldiers had the greatest difficulty in calming the excite- 
 ment of the drivers, Tartars or Mongolians, who from the 
 elevation of their boxes, still lead, at least as coachmen, that 
 proud Eussian aristocracy in which so many of their ancient 
 princes figure. Perched on their high seats, they rise above 
 all the general populace — the common herd, the promiscuous 
 throng of nobles, the artisans, the clerks, the citizens, and the 
 rustics alike. 
 
 " Hey, there, you big beard ! To the left, to the left ! and 
 don't leave the line. Well, don't you hear me ? " shouted 
 one of those quellers of disorder known as the blue dragoons. 
 
 " We know what we are about," retorted the son of Mamai,* 
 who was thus addressed. " We have driven through Moscow 
 and Petersburg, and you can't frighten us, comrade." 
 
 " Come, come ! no arguing, unless you want to feel the flat 
 of my sword." 
 
 " Just try it on ! My master, there within, is already three- 
 quarters elected marshal. And yet, you spurred lout, you lay 
 down the law like a commander-in-chief ! What sort of a bird 
 are you, I should like to know ? We have our plate laid at 
 the governor's table. My master will tell him. Hallo ! what 
 are you hitting me for ? Stop ! listen ! Leave me alone ! Will 
 you let me be, you madman ? I'll leave the box, and the horses, 
 and the carriage ! How dare you strike me ? ' ' Then the 
 
 * The expression "son of Mamai,'' means a Tartar. Mama'i was the 
 leader of one of the Tartar incursions in the Middle Ages (1380), and his 
 name is preserved in history. His exploits are also celebrated in the 
 Eussian epic songs.
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 363 
 
 coachman called, turning towards his master, " Sir ! Hey, sir ! " 
 And again coufrontiug the dragoon: "There, that's enough. 
 Where would you like me to re-enter the line ? ^Yill you cease 
 pestering me ? Just see how you have treated my tchchnen,'^ 
 which belongs to my master. Hum ! It' s disgusting how you 
 beat and ill-treat people." 
 
 Several soldiers and drivers had little asides of this nature 
 on various points. Meanwhile, inside the hall the balloting 
 began. Podgruzdyoff having announced his definite resignation 
 of the office of marshal, votes were given in turn for three 
 candidates who had brought themselves forward, and who were 
 summarily rejected by black-balling. A compact party then 
 advanced to vote for Melekitchentzoff, in Podgruzdj^oft^'s place, 
 and the immense majority feeling discontented, observed that 
 there was nobody to oppose him likely to have anylchance what- 
 ever. 
 
 Tchitchikofi" remained modestly leaning against a pillar, the 
 devouring worm of ambition gnawing painfully at his heart. 
 Everything was left in suspense for several minutes in default 
 of a competitor to oppose this wealthy candidate, Melekitchent- 
 zoff, who was already casting patronising and triumphant 
 glances upon his supporters, and leering tenderly at the 
 curule chair of the marshalate. Our hero meanwhile said to 
 himself, "Oh, it would have been a thousand times better 
 if I had gone on a round of visits to Betrishtchetf's relatives, 
 rather than have come here and subjected myself to all this 
 torture. I have suffered a great deal in my life ; still, I 
 have enjoyed some happy days. This is my harshest trial. 
 Would it not be best for me to go and announce myself 
 openly as a candidate ? Good God ! What, won't anyone 
 come and say to me, ' Will you be pleased to accept nomina- 
 tion ? ' Let them talk to me about my likeness to an American 
 general after this ! I have allowed myself to be caught with 
 the raillery of a tailor ! I'll just see if a single person will 
 come. dead souls ! dead souls ! you have enriched me with- 
 out elevating me, and it is you who are now about to com- 
 pete my abasement and my ruin ! " 
 
 Tchitchikofi" was raving. He really was in despair, when 
 all at once, three gentlemen belonging to his district approached 
 him, and proposed to him that he should present himself as a 
 candidate. Oui- hero could not reply at first, so overwhelmed 
 did he feel ; then he hesitated, and it was only at the expira- 
 
 * Cossack coat.
 
 364 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 tion of several minutes that he was able to pronounce with 
 some decision the folloAving honest and pathetic words : 
 
 "Divine providen,ce, in sending me through you such an un- 
 expected honour, seems desirous of wiping out all trace of the 
 injustice which I have experienced in the pilgrimage of life. 
 Gentlemen, you cannot be ignorant of the fact that ray exist- 
 ence long resembled the condition of a vessel buffeted by 
 storms. You propose trusting to me the helm of the vessel of 
 your interests. You place too much value possibly on the little 
 wisdom with which experience may have endowed me. How- 
 ever, I perceive in this an opportunity for self-sacrifice, and I 
 will not hesitate. Dispose of me." 
 
 Thereupon he shed a few tears, and crumpled his three- 
 cornered hat with both hands ; then, obviously much agitated, 
 he passed into an apartment adjoining the grand hall. 
 
 The voting for the candidates was immediately proceeded 
 with, and this operation did not last long. 
 
 As soon as the voting was finished, there arose from all 
 quarters of the hall a loud and general shout, amid which one 
 plainly heard the words, " We congratulate you ! " 
 
 "It's all over," thought Tchitchikoff, wiping his brow, which 
 was quite moist from emotion. "The honours have fallen to 
 me, and my heart is relieved of an immense weight." And his 
 bearing as he re-entei'ed the hall evinced what a lively sentiment 
 of personal dignity he felt at that moment. 
 
 " Gentlemen," he said to the throng which watched him as 
 he passed along, " I thank you cordially for an election which 
 cannot be otherwise than flattering to me from every point of 
 view. But I have many reasons for begging you, for adjuring 
 you, to exempt me from this noble office at least for three years, 
 in order that I may become more firmly settled in this part of 
 the country, where approbation will always be so precious to 
 me." 
 
 Pavel Ivanovitch, having delivered himself to this effect, bent 
 his head slightly towards his left shoulder, brought both hands 
 together on his breast, and awaited a reply. 
 
 Prince Tchigirin, a man of lofty stature, renowned for his 
 overwhelming blows, who chanced to stand at about ten paces 
 from Tchitchikoff, then exclaimed in a very fine baritone voice : — 
 
 " Mr. Tchitchikoff" is wrong in thus alarming himself. Gen- 
 tlemen, pray have the charity to explain to him that he came 
 out third or fourth in the list, and that he is excused from 
 discharging the functions in question, not for three years only, 
 but for fifteen or perhaps eighteen.",
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 365 
 
 Prince Tchigirin was not a competitor ; lie himself did not 
 wish to be marshal ; but on the other hand he could not endure 
 the thought that anyone else should aspire to the office, unless he 
 were a prince, or at least a triple millionaire. 
 
 Soon afterwards Melekitchentzoft" sought out Tchitchikoff, 
 for he wished to invite him to dinner, and to regale him with 
 a dish of herring-roe such as could only be found at his table. 
 However, our hero had disappeared from the hall, and three hours 
 later he was taking tea in a posting-house situated twenty-one 
 versts from town, and listening to the overture of " Lodoiska," 
 executed by a musical snuff-box, which had constituted the de- 
 light of the superintendent of this station for the last twenty-five 
 years. Our hero greatly envied the contentment of this worthy 
 simple man, who, in order to render himself happy, had only to 
 rummage in his pocket and press a small leather button. 
 
 " And I," thought he, " what do I lack to be happy ? Nothing 
 that a man can reasonably desire. Accursed vanity, what wilt 
 thou of me ? However, the lesson which I have just received 
 ought at last to teach me to restrain the impetuosity of my 
 ambitious aspirations." 
 
 Such was the style of his thoughts when he resumed his 
 journey to return to the bosom of his numerous family. He 
 had been married for twelve years, and he had eleven children, 
 who had always been the freest and the happiest children in the 
 world.* We will not say the same for the fourteen hundred 
 families of serfs of which our hero was the lord and master, and 
 for whom it cannot be asserted that he always entertained the 
 feelings of a father. The only persons with regard to whom he 
 was always inclined to passive indulgence were Selifan and 
 Petrushka. They died shortly after their master's great dis- 
 comfiture at the elections, possibly in consequence of the pro- 
 found chagrin caused by the preference, more apparent than 
 real, which Tchitchikoff" accorded to the valet and coachman 
 who had accompanied him to town on that occasion. He had, 
 in his character of master, some principles from which he never 
 departed. As he despised tale-bearers, he never punished any 
 faults of which he had not himself been a witness, or by which he 
 had not personally suffered ; but then he punished severely, with- 
 out pausing to consider the degree of gravity of the ofience. 
 An impostor, a thief, a drunkard, a libertine, had only to avoid 
 ever coming in Tchitchikoft"'s way, to appear perfectly innocent 
 in his eyes, however detestable his reputation might be ; but if 
 one of his peasants told him a lie in person, or if one of them 
 passed him on his way from the forest with a load of purloined
 
 366 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 brushwood on his back ; if a third, in replying to him, gave 
 vent to an alcohoHc hiccough, or if he caught sight of a fourth 
 courting a village m,aid in unseemly fashion, even were she his 
 betrothed, then it made no diflerence — all four were mercilessly 
 condemned to be flogged. 
 
 Very few of his peasants were allowed the means of attaining 
 to a state of comfort. Still, some of them, in spite of the thou- 
 sand obstacles inherent to their condition of serfage, became 
 fairly well oif, and besought him to give them their freedom on 
 condition of payment. He invariably refused, without alleging 
 any reason for this course ; and he never even consented to 
 allow their daughters to marry freemen. To have subjects, to 
 keep them firmly under his control, to augment as much as 
 possible the revenue of his own private government, such was 
 henceforth his sole ambition. 
 
 Any considerations of equity, of social amelioration, or uni- 
 versal morality, the dissemination of knowledge, and intellectual 
 emancipation, afiected him but little. They merely served to 
 sadden him, for he considered that, if these nonsensical notions 
 won favour with the public, they would be a very bad omen as 
 regards the prosperity of his oflspring, whom he believed he had 
 created in his own image and likeness. 
 
 He subscribed to several newspapers, reviews, and illustrated 
 publications, simply because these sheets were all to be met 
 with in the reception-rooms of his neighbours ; but he never 
 endeavoured to discover by perusing them what were the needs, 
 the general feeling, the current of ideas, and the aspirations 
 of the new era now dawning. Of the ordinary contents of the 
 Journal des Debuts, for instance, he never allowed any men- 
 tion in his presence, save that it were what came under the 
 heading Assize Court ; and then all at once he would exclaim, 
 " What is the use of tribunals which are open to the public ? 
 Why confer this name of ' public ' on the populace ? And what 
 is the use of publishing all these horrors, which one hears in the 
 court-room, over and over again in the newspapers ? " And 
 more frequently still he was accustomed to say, " You see, you 
 see what abominations daily take place in the West ! And yet 
 there are fools who want to Europeanise Eussia, when, on the 
 contrary, it is for Europe to Eussianise herself, as she ought to 
 do for her own safety ; otherwise I predict that she will shortly 
 perishan final impenitence." 
 
 The most important duty which he fulfilled with regard to 
 his six eldest sons, was to accompany them in succession to 
 Petersburg and Moscow in order to install them respectively in
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 367 
 
 the public [service — the army, the navy, the departments of 
 finances, justice, foreign and home affairs. The other lads, 
 who were younger, were placed in various educational institu- 
 tions. That done, he received and opened their letters, glanced 
 over them, beginning at the end, and .then threw them on the 
 table, and left the task of answering them to his wife. He took 
 some pleasure in seeing his sons again when they came home 
 on leave, and he sent them back at the expiration of their fur- 
 loughs much better provided with money than Avith sentimental 
 blessings. They, on their part, returned without regret, the 
 one to the general whose aide-de-camp he was, the second to 
 his ship, the third, fourth, fifth, and sixth to their offices, and the 
 others to their schools. As for his daughters, he did not under- 
 stand how they could want anything but ribbons and dancing- 
 lessons in the first place, or dowries and trousseaux in the next. 
 
 The district was unfortunate in its marshals ; in less than 
 two years it lost three of them. Melekitchentzoff" died of 
 indigestion ; Count Nulin, who followed him, of a fall from 
 his horse ; and Kostlyakin, the third one, of the measles, 
 though some people said that it was the cholera. At all events, 
 Tchitchikoff was destined to arrive at the goal of his desires. 
 He was called upon to discharge the functions of the mar- 
 shalate, pending the next elections, and was regarded as a 
 worthy representative of the local nobility, except by certain 
 country squires, who were impatient of all superiority, and who, 
 like P rinco T c h igiYih, theii' leader, had never been known to be 
 6 atisfied witli anyone . 
 
 An interim appointment was all that our hero wanted ; some 
 months later, he was confirmed in his post for three years, and 
 he resigned himself to his duties. We will not designate those 
 who were the most assiduous at his table and his entertainments 
 — they can be divined. The malcontents ? Of course, with 
 Tchigirin always at their head. 
 
 The millionaire Melekitchentzoff", in dying, had appointed 
 Tchitchikoff" to be one of his executors and co-guardian of his 
 two minor sons. All this weighed heavily in his favour, and was 
 of great advantage to him, thanks to the manner in which he 
 discharged his duties. There was very little of the citizen about 
 him, and, on the other hand, much of the self-made grand 
 seigneur — the provincial grand seigneur of the antique pattern. ;;J 
 
 Thus, despite success, our hero, having a heart far above his 
 fortunes, was not in the least satisfied. With his hair of ala- 
 baster whiteness, his calm and upright bearing, his florid 
 cheeks, his aristocratically fine and transparent nose, his mag-
 
 368 BEAD SOULS. 
 
 netic glance, the noble and generous manner in wHcli Le did 
 the honours of his house, his gala-days and his great festivals, 
 he thought that the nobility of the country did not render him 
 justice in proportion' to his merits ; and indeed he was of opinion ■ 
 that, at the elections which took place eleven months after his 
 exaltation, he ought to have been elected marshal of the pro- 
 vince, instead of being confirmed as marshal of his district for, 
 the succeeding three years. This well-deserved promotion would 
 have had the efiect, not only of taking him in triumph to the capi- 
 tal of the province, but would have opened to him the doors 
 of the palace of the Czars at Petersburg, and possibly have 
 attached to his marshal's uniform the golden key of court 
 chamberlain, which renders the offices of master and grand 
 master of ceremonies accessible. 
 
 However, Tchitchikoff kept his thoughts to himself, and, too 
 proud to sulk like a fool, he retreated into himself like a sage. 
 But his eyes constantly turned to the walls, the floors, and the 
 ceilings of the principal rooms of his house, and he thought 
 them all very bare, very mean, and very poor, compared to the 
 marvels which he had seen in the Kremlin at Moscow, and in 
 the great "Winter Palace of the new capital. 
 
 As he had so many great qualities, our hero will surely par- 
 don us for not concealing anything. He had a lofty soul, 
 and a quick, just, and penetrating mind ; but his heart, which 
 was often so strong, was not exempt from momentary weak- 
 nesses. He feared all contact with foreigners, on account, in 
 the first place, of their habit of immediately judging a country 
 which baffles their research ; in the second place of their 
 detestable love of novelties, styled progress ; and in the third 
 place, of their stupid principles in favour of the equality of all 
 citizens before the law. 
 
 The very word citizen, as applied to plebeians, to peasants, 
 and even to the merchant and artisan classes, seemed to him a 
 revolting absurdity. The law, in his opinion, was a machine 
 set up and worked by noblemen, and which performed its func- 
 tions for the benefit of noblemen, who had at their head the 
 Czar, who, to his honour be it said, was the first gentle- 
 man in the empire ; equality was to his mind only an antique 
 phantom evoked by the evil-intentioned from the depths of the 
 ruins of the fabulous republics of Pskoff" and Novgorod, at 
 the instigation of the philosophers of Germany, who had already 
 suffocated Poland with the fumes of their political wisdom. 
 
 Thus Tchitchikoff entertained sentiments with regard to the 
 inhabitants of Europe which were thoroughly Chinese. He con-
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 369 
 
 scientiously failed to fulfil any engagements with Englishmen, 
 Frenchmen, Germans, Swiss, and Italians, simply with the ob- 
 ject of making them feel that a formal treaty or engagement 
 entered into with them was not a contract which could bind 
 the Russian. If he yielded in the end, it was only at the 
 entreaty of his peers in the nobility ; and he still acquitted 
 himself after his own fashion, obliging them to feel that he 
 acted out of respect to himself, and not in virtue of any alleged 
 contract, which was and could be only a fiction. 
 
 Although he sought out their Parisian soap, their eau-de- 
 Cologne, their Holland cambric, their Sheffield knives and razors, 
 their Perigord truffles, their Strasburg pates, their Champagne 
 wines, their Sedan cloths, and their Aubusson carpets, he much 
 preferred to obtain these things from Polish Jews rather than 
 direct from Frenchmen, Englishmen, Italians, and Germans. 
 He would willingly have employed the Jews of White Russia 
 to teach his daughters the languages and literatures of the four 
 nations. He would have liked an Italian opera company, en- 
 tirely composed of singers from the Ukraina ; a French theatre, 
 with actors born at Simbirsk and Tobolsk ; and a German 
 theatre, where the performers would have been Kalmuks and 
 Kirghiz-Kazaks. 
 
 One of the most characteristic traits of our hero's lofty per- 
 sonality was patriotism, the most exclusive Great Russian 
 patriotism. He was perfectly wilHng to admit imitation that was 
 the simple mark of the universal adaptability of the Muscovite 
 nature ; he did not admit the infusion of foreign genius ; he 
 repulsed every shadow of any association or affiliation what- 
 ever. The introduction of a Frenchman, an Englishman, a 
 Swiss, or a Belgian into the councils of the government would, 
 in his eyes, have been as great an enormity as a request to a 
 fox, a wolf, a hyena, or a shark to take care of an aviary, a 
 sheepfold, a menagerie, or a great national lake, like those of 
 Ladoga, Onega, and Ilmen. A Jew, however, might be allowed 
 to assume office, for if he did not walk straight, one would have 
 no hesitation in despatching him, without any noise, to those 
 vast eastern provinces of the empire where the need of men to 
 work the mines concealed in the great chain of mountains border- 
 ing upon the Chinese frontier was making itself more and more 
 felt, and where the Western nations had absolutely no reason to 
 interfere. 
 
 Politics, diplomacy, home rule, justice, men, things, defects, 
 prejudices, abuses, — numerous, varied, and universal, — he ac- 
 cepted, protected, adored them all, such as they existed in Russia.
 
 370 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 / He delighted in everything that was Russian, because it was Rus- 
 sian, because it existed for the benefit of the nobility of his 
 country ; because, in spite of all restraints, the " cute " Russian, 
 by properly guiding the bark of his cupidity, could, even 
 without any special talent, without the least genius, without 
 having rendered any distinguished services, attain to nobility, 
 fortune, honours, and even dream of the highest dignities. And 
 he delighted in the vices, wrongs, crimes, anomalies, and fre- 
 quent contradictions of a system which led everyone to believe 
 in evil and no one in the law, simply because, in his eyes, all 
 these defects had their good sides for the ambitious. Moreover, 
 he did not see that there was any inconvenience to the country 
 in the fact that thirty millions of serfs and low-class families 
 remained in bondage, called upon to provide for the question- 
 able pleasures, to the life of barbarous luxury, and the often 
 savage fancies of three hundred thousand satraps, upheld by a 
 million of corrupt country squires, and flanked by three or four 
 thousand Jewish, Greek, and Mongolian nabobs. ^ 
 
 Tchitchikoff, during the happy days of his journeyings, had 
 dreamed of a fortune, of a pretty wife, an elegant retreat, a 
 sumptuous equipage, a numerous progeny; of clearing new land, 
 of cleverly managing far-stretching forests, of agricultural pros- 
 perity, and of the happiness of his vassals. Everything, except 
 the happiness of his vassals — except this last point, which had, 
 in fact, merely been included in his programme like the set 
 dishes which always remain intact in the refreshment-rooms on 
 great railway lines — everything had prospered with him accord- 
 ing to his wishes, and had even much surpassed his expectations. 
 But if he had been asked how far his wife and his six eldest 
 sons shared the habitual order of his tholights in his old age, he 
 would have been greatly embarrassed to give any reply ; for, if 
 he had moments of efiusion with the nobility who were invited 
 to his feasts and festivals, he never indulged in any in the bosom 
 of his happy family. "My family," he might have answered, 
 " must love and honour me, because I am its head, just as I 
 love my country, just as I love and honour the Czar, because 
 he is my chief and my master. Neither the emperor nor I 
 demand an account of our mutual opinions or our mutual affec- 
 
 . tion. We do not even know each other. It is the same with 
 my sons and me ; they have the honour of being my sons. I 
 do not allow them to want for anything, as is my duty as a 
 father and a gentleman. What necessity is there, after that, of 
 our knowing each other ? " 
 
 A heavy wager might be laid to-day that Tchitchikoff no
 
 MISERY AND GRANDEUR OF TCHITCHIKOFF. 371 
 
 longer belongs to this lower world. Probably he is dead. 
 But who knows ? Who can tell what became of Ninus, Romu- 
 lus, Belisarius, the mother of the Pious /Eneas, and Andrei 
 Kurbsky, Prince of Yaroslav, of the blood of Rurik ? 
 V Nevertheless, our duty as an impartial historian requires that 
 we should report what has come down to us in relation to this 
 sad subject ; without, however, guaranteeing anything, and 
 without attaching more importance than is necessary to the con- 
 jectures of an idolatrous public. However, many people 
 maintain that our hero is still living, and that, octogenarian and 
 decrepit though this noble personification of ancient Russia may 
 be, he appears to enjoy marvellously good health for his age. 
 Folks whisper in covert words into the ears which care to 
 listen that Tchitchikoff is in his province the secret chief, the 
 real soul of that venerable faction which is called the party of 
 the Immovables : men who gravely protest against changing the 
 old system of a government, which may have its faults,* but 
 which has in its favour the sanction of time. They argue 
 that it should not be demolished under the pretext of making 
 reparation to a class which has been held for centuries under 
 a ban, and under the pretext of effecting eclectic progress in 
 humanitarian, social, and Christian civilisation. According to 
 this party, people must neither imitate nor tolerate any of those 
 accursed revolutions which do violence to the past, upset the 
 future, and deliver it over to adventurers. Tchitchikoif has 
 never proflfered one word of recrimination against any man, 
 or any part of the legal or extra-legal system established in the 
 country. That must be said for him in justice ; in that respect 
 he has held his place as a son, a nephew, a scholar, a parishioner, 
 a scribe, an employe, a clerk, a custom-house official, and a 
 partner with the sons of Israel; also as a gentleman's steward, 
 as a gentleman traveller, as a speculator, as a prisoner, as a 
 lover — if he ever was one, even in imagination — as a man 
 prosecuted and condemned, as a land and serf-owner, as an 
 elector of magistrates, and as a candidate, who, after being 
 scoti'ed at, was finally elected from necessity. 
 
 The revenue service, the finances, the church, the organisation 
 of the army, the navy, the courts of justice, and the prisons ; the 
 salaries of the functionaries and clerks, the educational system, 
 the police, the serfdom of the masses, the general simony — these 
 he has never protested against ; he has accepted them all, 
 
 * It should be borne in mind that all this was written prior to the 
 freeing of the serfs, though of course many of the remarks have a 
 bearing even upon present times.
 
 372 DEAD SOULS. 
 
 approved of them all, by his silencd and his submission. And 
 yet, as the reader has seen, our hero suffered horribly until his 
 marriage. But this did not prevent him becoming the possessor 
 of a considerable fortune, an orderly man, a marshal of the 
 nobility of his district, and of enjoying in his green old age 
 general esteem and respect. 
 
 To our mind, the whole secret of his special policy (which 
 in the eyes of many persons will possess the merit of being 
 eminently practical) consisted in turning obstacles, and in mak- 
 ing use at all times and in every situation, of evil to further his 
 especial benefit. 
 
 Alas ! generations follow each other like days ; and, like days, 
 they do not resemble each other. All Tchitchikoff's youthful 
 family is now notoriously in favour of liberal and sweeping 
 \ reforms. And their mother, in the privacy of the family^ 
 willingly recognises, in company with her children, this simple 
 moral truth, that monstrous abuses do not gain in respectability 
 simply because they are old and remarkably tenacious of life. 
 For ourselves, we will not permit our admiration for the 
 exploits of the father to blind us to the very different merits of 
 the sons, who vie with each other in contending and proclaiming 
 that for the general good all private interests should hold their 
 peace, and that the happiness of a great people can only] be the 
 outcome of sacrifice in high spheres. 
 
 The Russian is not only Catholic and Christian at bottom, 
 but he also possesses all the instincts of the genius of initiation. 
 What likelihood, then, is there that he will much longer put up 
 with a semi-pagan system of government, which is the sole 
 cause of his physical and moral discomfort, and which impedes 
 the fruitful march of the nation in its career of progress ? "^ 
 
 THE END. 
 
 PBINTKD BY J. 8. TTRTUB AXU 00., LHQTED, ClTy BOAD, TiONOON-
 
 V
 
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