university of ILLINOIS LIBRARY £Z URSANA-CH \£ r\ * M A m ■ i I HUDIBRAS BY SAMUEL BUTLER WITH notes and a literary memoir by the KEV. TREADWAY RUSSEL NASH, D. D illustrated with portraits, and CONTAINING a NEW AND COMPLETE INDEX. 44 Non deerunt fortasse vitilitigatores, qui ougas, quam ut theologum deceant, partim conveniant modestiae.” calumnientur, partim leviores esse mordaciores, quam ut Christiana Erasm. Morice. Encom. PrasfaL NEW- YORK: D„ APPLETON & COMPANY, 443 & 445 BROADWAY. M.DCCC.LXI. * «Z7 \%L\ ADVERTISEMENT * Little or no upology need bo offered to the Public for presenting it with a new edition of Hudibras ; the poem ranks too high in English literature not to be wel- comed if it appear in a correct text, legible type, and on good paper : ever since its first appearance it has been as a mirror in which an Englishman might have seen his face without becoming, Narcissus-like, enamored of it ; such an honest looking-glass must ever be valuable, if there be worth in the aphorism of nosce teipsum. May it not in the present times be as useful as in any that are past? Perhaps even in this enlightened age a little self-examination may be wholesome ; a man will take a glance of recognition of himself if there be a glass in the room, and it may happen that some indica- tion of the nascent symptoms of the wrinkles of treason, of the crows-feet of fanaticism, of the drawn-down mouth of hypocrisy, or of the superfluous hairs of self- conceit, may startle the till then unconscious possessor of such germs of vice, and afford to his honester quali- ties an opportunity of stifling them ere they start forth in their native hideousness, and so, perchance, help to avert the repetition of the evil times the poet satirizes, which, in whatever point they are viewed, stand a blot in the annals of Britain. The edition in three quarto volumes of Hudibras, ed- ited by Dr. Nasht in 1793, has become a book of high * Prefixed to the Edition in 2 vols. 8vo. 1835. t “ January 26, 1811.— At liis seat at Bevere, near Worcester, “ in his 86th year, Treadway Russel Nash, D. D., F . S. A., Rec “ tor of Leigh. He was of Worcester College in Oxford ; M. A “ 1746 * B. and D. D. 1758. He was the venerable Father of the “ Magistracy of the County of Worcester ; of which he was an “ upright and judicious member nearly fifty years ; and a gentle- “ man of profound erudition and critical knowledge in the seve- ‘ ral branches of literature : particularly the History of his na- “ five county, which he illustrated with indefatigable labor and “ expense to himself. In exemplary prudence, moderation, affa- ‘ bility, and unostentatious manner of living, he has left no su 6 ADVERTISEMENT. price and uncommon occurrence. It may justly be called a scholar’s edition, although the Editor thus mod- estly speaks of his annotations : “ The principal, if not 6( the sole view, of the annotations now offered to the like Mr. Butler’s, his wit was applauded, and unre- * Or the mock deification of Claudius ; a burlesque of Apothe- osis or Anathanatosis. Reimarus renders it, non inter deos sed inter fatuos relatio, and quotes a proverb from Apuleius, Colo- cyntaB caput, for a fool. Colocynta is metaphorically put for any thing unusually large. uag ko\okvvt(u$, in the Clouds of Aristophanes, is to have the eye swelled by an obstruction as *ig as a gourd. 22 ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ., warded, as appears from a portrait of him, with a fig iu his hand, under which is written the following distich : Dextera cur ficum quseris mea gestat inanem, Longi operis merces haec fu.it, Aula dedit. The next successful imitators of the mock-heroic, have been Boileau, Garth, and Pope, whose respective works are too generally known, and too justly admired, to require, at this time, description or encomium. . The Pucelle d’Orleans of Voltaire may be deemed an imita- tion of Hudibras, and is written in somewhat the same metre ; but the latter, upon the whole, must be con- sidered as an original species of poetry, a composition sui generis. Unde nil majus generatur ipso ; Nec viget quidquam simile aut secundum. Hudibras has been compared to the Satyre Menippde de la vertu du Catholicon d’Espagne, first published in France in the year 1593 ; the subject indeed is some- what similar, a violent civil war excited by religious zeal, and many good men made the dupes of state poli- ticians. After the death of Henry III. of France, the Duke de Mayence called together the states of the kingdom, to elect a successor, there being many pre- tenders to the crown ; these intrigues were the founda- tion of the Satire of Menippee, so called from Menippus a cynic philosopher, and rough satirist, introducer of the burlesque species of dialogue. In this work are unveiled the different views and interests of the several actors in those busy scenes, who, under the pretence of public good, consulted only their private advantage, passions, and prejudices. The book, which aims particularly at the Spanish party,* went through various editions from its first pub- * It is sometimes called Higuero del infierno, or the fig-tree of Hell, alluding to the violent part the Spaniards took m the civil wars of France, and in allusion to the title of Seneca’s Apocolo- cyntosis. By this fig-tree the author perhaps means the won derful bir or banian described by Milton. The fig-tree, not that kind for fruit renown’d, But such as at this day to Indians known In Malabar or Decan, spreads his arms, Branching so broad and long, that in the ground The bended twigs take root, and daughters grow About the mother tree ; a pillar’d shade High over-arch’d. and echoing walks between. AUTHOR OF HUD1BRAS. 23 iication to 1726, when it was printed at Ratisbone in three volumes, with copious notes and index : it is still studied by antiquaries with delight, and in its day was as much admired as Hudibras. D’Aubigne says of it, il passe pour un chef d’oeuvre en son gendre, et fut lue avec une egale avidite, et avec un plaisir merveilleux par les royalistes, par les politiques, par les Huguenots et par les ligueurs de toutes les especes* M. de Thou’s character of it is equally to its advan- tage. The principal author is said to be Monsieur le Roy, sometime chaplain to the Cardinal de Bourbon, whom Thuanus calls vir bonus, et a factione summ6 alienus. This satire differs widely from our author’s : like those of Varro, Seneca, and Julian, it is a mixture of verse and prose, and though it contains much wit, and Mr. Butler had certainly read it with attention, yet he cannot be said to imitate it: the reader will perceive that our poet had in view Don Quixote, Spenser, the Italian poets, together with the Greek and Roman classics : but very rarely, if ever, alludes to Milton, though Paradise Lost was published ten years before the third part of Hu- dibras. Other sorts of burlesque have been published, such as the Carmina Macaronica, the Epistolae Obscurorum Virorum, Cotton’s Travesty, &c., but these are efforts Mr. Ives, in his Journey from Persia, thus speaks of this won- derful vegetable : “This is the Indian sacred tree ; it grows to a “prodigious height, and its branches spread a great way. The “ limbs drop down fibrous, which take root, and become another “tree, united by its branches to the first, and so continue to do, “ until the tree cover a great extent of ground ; the arches which “ those different stocks make are Gothic, like those we see in “ Westminster Abbey, the stocks not being single, but appearing “ as if composed of many stocks, are of a great circumference “There is a certain solemnity accompanying these trees, nor do “ I remember that I was ever under the cover of any of them, “ but that my mind was at the time impressed with a reverential “ awe.” From hence it seems, that both these authors thought Gothic architecture similar to embowered rows of trees. The Indian fig-tree is described as of an immense size, capable of shading 800 or 1,000 men, and some of them 3,000 persons. In Mr. Marsden’s History of Sumatra, the following is an account of the dimensions of a remarkable banyan-tree near Banjer, twenty miles west of Patna, in Bengal. Diameter 363 to 375 feet, circumference of its shadow at noon 1,116 feet, circumfer- ence of the several stems, (in number 50 or 60,) 911 feet. * Henault says of this work, Peut-6tre que la satire MenippSe ne fut gueres moins utile a Henri IV. que la bataille d’lvri: le ridicule a plus de force qu’on ne croit 24 ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ. of genius of no great importance. Many burlesque and satirical poems, and prose compositions, were published in France between the years 1593 and 1660, the au- thors of which were Rabelais,* Scarron, and others; the Cardinal is said to have severely felt the Maza- renade. A popular song or poem has alw ays had a wonderful effect ; the following is an excellent one from ^Eschylus, sung at the battle of Salamis, at which he was present, and engaged in the Athenian squadron. y £L ircuSes * EAA^vmv ire , t\£v0epovT£ Trarpid\ iXetdepovre 7ra7das, yvva'iKas , QeGtv re Ttarpwoiv eSrj, dfiicas ts 7rpoy6vcov * vvv vie ep 7eavT(ov ayoov. BEsch. Persee, 1. 400. The ode of Callistratus is supposed to have done em- inent service, by commemorating the delivery, and pre- venting the return of that tyranny in Athens, which was happily terminated by the death of Hipparchus, and expulsion of the Pisistratidse ; I mean a song which was sung at their feasts beginning, Ev pvprov icXafii rd Ztyos (popfiou, foairep A ppoSiog k : Apt^oyEirwv, OT£ TOV TV0CLVVOV KTaVETTJV , lerovdpovs t A Orjvas iiroirjouTtjv. And ending, Act c(p(av kXeos ecrcrETai kclt 1 alav, 0tAra0’ A ppodu k’ Api^oyurovj bri tov ripavvov ktglvetov lcov6p.ovs t A dfivas iieoirjaaTOV. Of this song the learned Lowth says, Si post idus illas Martias e Tyrannoctonis quispiam tale aliquod carmen plebi tradidisset, inque suburram, et fori circulos, et in ora vulgi intulisset, actum profecto fuisset de partibus deque dominatione Caesarum : plus mehercule valuisset unum A ppodiov pi\os quam Ciceronis Philippic® omnes ; and again, Num verendum erat ne quis tyrannidem Pisistratidarum Athenis instaurare auderet, ubi cantita- retur 'ZkoXiov illud Callistrati. — See also Israelitarum TStitiviKiov, Isaiah, chapter xiv. Of this kind was the famous Irish song called Lilli- * [Probably a misprint. Rabelais died in 1553, and his work was first published at Lyons in 1533.] AUTHOB OF HUDIBRAS. 25 burlero, which just before the Revolution in 1688, had such an effect, that Burnet says, “ a foolish ballad was “ made at that time, treating the papists, and chiefly “ the Irish, in a very ridiculous manner, which had a “ burthen said to be Irish words, Loro loro lilliburlero, “ that made an impression on the (king’s) army that “ cannot be imagined by those that saw it not. The “ whole army, and at last the people, both in city and “country, were singing it perpetually: and perhaps “ never had so slight a thing so good an effect.” Of this kind in modern days was the song of God save great George our king, and the Ca ira of Paris. Thus wonderfully did Hudibras operate in beating down the hypocrisy, and false patriotism of his time. Mr. Hay- ley gives a character of him in four lines with great propriety : “ Unri vail’d Butler ! blest with happy skill “To heal by comic verse each serious ill, “ By wit’s strong flashes reason’s light dispense, “ And laugh a frantic nation into sense.’* For one great object of our poet’s satire is to unmask the hypocrite, and to exhibit, in a light at once odious and ridiculous, the Presbyterians and Independents, and all other sects, which in our poet’s days amounted to near two hundred, and were enemies to the King ; but his further view was to banter all the false, and even all the suspicious pretences to learning that prevailed in his time, such as astrology, sympathetic medicine, alchymy, transfusion of blood, trifling experimental philosophy, fortune-telling, incredible relations of travellers, false wit, and injudicious affectation of ornament to be found in the poets, romance writers, &c. ; thus he frequently alludes toPurchas’s Pilgrim, Sir Kenelm Digby’s books, Bulwer’s Artificial- Changeling, Brown’s Vulgar Errors, Burton’s Melancholy, the early transactions of the Royal Society, the various pamphlets and poems of his time, &c., &c. These books, though now little known, were much reae 1 and admired in our author’s days. The ad- venture with the widow is introduced in conformity with other poets, both heroic and dramatic, who hold that no poem can be perfect which hath not at least one Epi- sode of Love. It is not worth while to inquire, if the characters painted under the fictitious names of Hudibras, Crow dero, Orsin, Talgol, Trulla, &c , were drawn from real life, or whether Sir Roger L’Estrange’s key to Hudi- 2 26 ON SAMUEL BU1LER, ESQ,. , bras be a true one ; it matters not whether the hero were designed as the picture of Sir Samuel Luke, Col. Rolls, or Sir Henry Rosewell, he is, in the language of Dryden, knight of the Shire, and represents them all, that is, the whole body of the Presbyterians, as Ralpho does that of the Independents: it would be degrading the liberal spirit and universal genius of Mr. Butler, to narrow his general satire to a particular libel on any characters, however marked and prominent. To a single rogue, or blockhead, he disdained to stoop ; the vices and follies of the age in which he lived, (et quando uberior vitiorum copia,) were the quarry at which he fled ; these he con- centrated, and embodied in the persons of Hudibras, Ralpho, Sidrophel, &c., so that each character in this admirable poem should be considered, not as an individ- ual, but as a species. It is not generally known, that meanings still more remote and chimerical than mere personal allusions, have been discovered in Hudibras ; and the poem would have wanted one of those marks which distinguish works of superior merit, if it had not been supposed to be a perpetual allegory : writers of eminence, Homer, Plato, and even the Holy Scriptures themselves, have been most wretchedly misrepresented by commentators of this cast ; and it is astonishing to observe to what a de- gree Heraclides* and Proclus,t Philot and Origen, have lost sight of their usual good sense, when they have * The Allegorise Homericse, Gr. Lat., published by Dean Gale, Amst. 1688, though usually ascribed to Heraclides Ponticus, the Platonist, must be the work of a more recent author, as the Dean has proved : his real name seems to have been Heraclitus, (not the philosopher,) and nothing more is known of him, but that Eustathius often cites him in his comment on Homer: the tract, however, is elegant and agreeable, and may be read with im- provement and pleasure. t Procius, the most learned philosopher of the fifth century, left among other writings numerous comments on Plato’s works still subsisting, so stuffed with allegorical absurdities, that few who have perused two periods, will have patience to venture on a third. In this, he only follows the example of Atticus, and many others, whose interpretations, as wild as his own he care- fully examines. He sneers at the famous Longinus with much contempt, for adhering too servilely to the literal meaning of Plato. t Philo the Jew discovered many mystical senses in the Pen- tateuch, and from him, perhaps, Origen learned his unhappy knack of allegorizing both Old and New Testament. This, in justice, however, is due to Origen, that while he is hunting after abstruse senses, he doth not neglect the literal, but is sometimes happy in his criticisms AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. 27 allowed themselves to depart from the obvious and literal meaning of the text, which they pretend to explain. Thus some have thought that the hero of the piece was intended to lepresent the parliament, especially that part of it which favored the Presbyterian discipline ; when in the stocks, he personates the Presbyterians after they had lost their power ; his first exploit is against the bear, whom he routs, which represents the parliament getting the better of the king : after this great victory, he courts a widow for her jointure, that is, the riches and power of the kingdom ; being scorned by her, he retires, bat the revival of hope to the royalists draws forth both him and his squire, a little before Sir George Booth’s insurrection. Magnano, Cerdon, Talgol, . &c., though described as butchers, coblers, tinkers, were designed as officers in the parliament army, whose original profes- sions, perhaps, were not much more noble : some have imagined Magnano to be the duke of Albemarle, and his getting thistles from a barren land, to allude to his power in Scotland, especially after the defeat of Booth. Trulla his wife, Crowdero Sir George Booth, whose bringing in of Bruin alludes to his endeavors to restore the king: his oaken leg, called the better one, is the king’s cause, his other leg the Presbyterian discipline ; his fiddle-case, which in sport they hung as a trophy on the whipping-post, the directory. Ralpho, they say, represents the parliament of Independents, called Bare- bones Parliament ; Bruin is sometimes the royal person, sometimes the king’s adherents ; Orsin represents the royal party — Talgol the city of London — Colon the bulk of the people: all these joining together against the knight, represent Sir George Booth’s conspiracy, with Presbyterians and royalists, against the parliament : their overthrow, through the assistance of Ralph, means the defeat of Booth by the assistance of the Independ- ents and other fanatics. These ideas are, perhaps, only the phrensy of a wild imagination, though there may be some lines that seem to favor the conceit. Dryden and Addison have censured Butler for his double rhymes ; the latter nowhere argues worse than upon this subject : “ If,” says he, “ the thought in the “ couplet be good, the rhymes add little to it ; and if <( bad) it will not be in the power of rhyme to recom- u mend it. I am afraid that great numbers of those “ who admire the incomparable Hudibras, do it more on account of these doggerel rhymes, than the parts that 28 ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ., “ really deserve admiration.”* This reflection affects equally all sorts of rhyme, which certainly can add nothing to the sense ; but double rhymes are like the whimsical dress of Harlequin, which does not add to his wit, but sometimes increases the humor and drollery of it: they are not sought for, but, when they come easily, are always diverting : they are so seldom found in Hudibras, as hardly to be an object of censure, espe- cially as the diction and the rhyme both suit well with the character of the hero. It must be allowed that our poet doth not exhibit his hero with the dignity of Cervantes ; but the principal fault of the poem is, that the parts are unconnected, and the story not interesting : the reader may leave off without being anxious for the fate of his hero ; he sees only disjecta membra poetse ; but we should remember, that the parts were published at long intervals,! and that several of the different cantos were designed as satires on different subjects or extravagancies. What the judicious Abbe du Bos has said respecting Ariosto, may be true of Butler, that, in comparison with him, Homer is a geometrician : the poem is seldom read a second time, often not a first in regular order ; that is, by passing from the first canto to the second, and so on in succession. Spenser, Ariosto, and Butler, did not live in an age of planning ; the last imitated the former poets — “ his poetry is the careless exuberance of a witty “ imagination and great learning.” Fault has likewise been found, and perhaps justly, with the too frequent elisions, the harshness of thb num- bers, and the leaving out the signs of our substantives ; his inattention to grammar and syntax, which, in some passages, may have contributed to obscure his meaning, as the perplexity of others arises from the amazing fruit- fulness of his imagination, and extent of his reading. Most writers have more words than ideas, and the reader wastes much pains with them, and gets little informa- tion or amusement. Butler, on the contrary, has more ideas than words, his wit and learning crowd so fast upon him, that he cannot find room or time to arrange them : hence his periods become sometimes embarrassed and obscure, and his dialogues are too long. Our poet has been charged with obscenity, evil-speaking, and * Spectator, No. 60. t The Epistle to Sidrophel, not till many years after the canto to which it is annexed. author of hudibras. 2V profaneness; but satirists will take liberties. Juvenal, and that elegant poet Horace, must plead his cause, so far as the accusation is well founded. Some apology may be necessary, or expected, when a person advanced in years, and without the proper qualifications, shall undertake to publish, and comment upon, one of the most learned and ingenious writers in our language ; and, if the editor’s true and obvious mo- tives will not avail to excuse him, he must plead guilty. The frequent pleasure and amusement he had received from the perusal of the poem, naturally bred a respect for the memory and character of the author, whifii is further endeared to him by a local relation to the coun- ty, and to the parish, so highly honored by the birth of Mr. Butler. These considerations induced him to at- tempt an edition, more pompous perhaps, and expensive, than was necessary, but not too splendid for the merit of the work. While Shakspeare, Milton, Waller, Pope, and the rest of our English classics, appear with every advantage that either printing or criticism can supply, why should not Hudibras share those ornaments at least with them which may be derived from the present im- proved state of typography and paper ? Some of the dark allusions, in Hudibras, to history, voyages, and the abstruser parts of what was then called learning, the author himself was careful to explain in a series of notes to the first two parts ; for the annotations to the third part, as has been before observed, do not seem to come from the same hand. In most other respects, the poem may be presumed to have been tolerably clear to tne or- dinary class of readers at its first publication : but, in a course of years, the unavoidable fluctuations of language, the disuse of customs then familiar, and the oblivion which hath stolen on facts and characters then com- monly known, have superinduced an obscurity on seve- ral passages of the work, which did not originally be- long to it. The principal, if not the sole view, of the annotations now offered to the public, hath been to re- move these difficulties, and point out some of the passa- ges in the Greek and Roman authors to which the poet alludes, in order to render Hudibras more intelligible to persons of the commentator’s level, men of middling capacity, and limited information. To such, if his re- marks shall be found useful and acceptable, he will be content, though they should appear trifling in the esti- mation of the more learned. 30 ON SAMUEL BUTLER., ESQ,., It is extraordinary, that for above a hundred and twenty years, only one commentator hath furnished notes of any considerable length. Doctor Grey had va- rious friends, particularly Bishop Warburton, Mr. Byron, and several gentlemen of Cambridge, who communica- ted to him learned and ingenious observations : these have been occasionally adopted without scruple, have been abridged, or enlarged, or altered, as best consisted with a plan, somewhat different from the doctor’s ; but in such a manner as to preclude any other than a gene- ral acknowledgment from the infinite perplexity that a minute and particular reference to them at every turn, would occasion ; nor has the editor been without the as- sistance of his friends. It is well known in Worcestershire, that long before the appearance of Doctor Grey’s edition, a learned and worthy clergyman of that county, after reading Hudi- bras with attention, had compiled a set of observations, with design to reprint the poem, and to subjoin his own remarks. By the friendship of his descendants, the present publisher hath been favored with a sight of those papers, and though, in commenting on the same work, the annotator must unavoidably have coincided with, and been anticipated by Dr. Grey in numerous instan- ces, yet much original information remained, of which a free and unreserved use hath been made in the fol- lowing sheets ; but he is forbid any further acknowledg- ment. He is likewise much obliged to Dr. Loveday, of Wil- liamscot, near Banbury, the worthy son of a worthy father ; the abilities and correctness of the former can be equalled only by the learning and critical acumen of the latter. He begs leave likewise to take this opportu- nity of returning his thanks to his learned and worthy neighbor Mr. Ingraham, from whose conversation much information and entertainment has been received on many subjects. Mr. Samuel Westley, brother to the celebrated John Westley, had a design of publishing an edition of Hudi- bras with notes. He applied to Lord Oxford for the use of his books in his library, and his Lordship wrote him the following obliging answer from Dover-street, August 7, 1734 — “ I am very glad you was reduced to read “ over Hudibras three times with care : I find you are te perfectly of my mind, that it much wants notes, and " that it will be a great work ; certainly it will be, to do AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. 31 « it as it should be. I do -.lot know one so capable of « doing it as yourself. I speak this very sincerely. “ Lilly’s life I have, and any books that I have you “ shall see, and have the perusal of them, and any other “ part that I can assist. I own I am very fond of the « work, and it would be of excellent use and entertain- << The news you read in the papers of a match with « m y daughter and the Duke of Portland was completed « at Mary-le -bonne chapel,” &c.* What progress he made in the work, or what became of his notes, I could never learn. * Extract of a letter from Lord Oxford, taken from original let- ters by the Reverend John Westley and his friends, illustrative of his early history, published by Joseph Priestley. LU i?. 5 printed at Birmingham 1791 PART I. CANTO 1 THE ARGUMENT. Sir Hudibras* his passing worth The manner how he sally’d forth ; His arms and equipage are shown \ His horse’s virtues and his own. Th’ adventure of the bear and fiddle Is sung, but breaks off in the middle.t R * P ro bably took this name from Spenser’s Fairy Queen, 11 . c. li. St. 17. He that made love unto the eldest dame Was hight Sir Hudibras, an hardy man ; Yet not so good of deeds, as great of name, Which he by many rash adventures wan, Since errant arms to sew he first began. Geoffry of Monmouth mentions a British king of this name though some have supposed it derived from the French, Hugo’ Hu de Bras signifying Hugh the powerful, or with the strong arm : thus Fortinbras, Firebras. ° In the Grub-street Journal, Col. Rolls, a Devonshire gentle- man, is said to be satirized under the character of Hudibras • and it is asserted, that Hugh de Bras was the name of the old tutelar saint of that county: but it is idle to look for personal reflections in a poem designed for a general satire on hypocrisy enthusiasm, and false learning. t Bishop Warburton observes very justly, that this is a ridi» cule on Ronsard’s Franciade and Sir William Davenant’s Goa* dibert. HUDIBRAS CANTO T. When civil fury first grew high,* And men fell out, they knew not why ;t When hard words, jealousies, and fears, t Set folks together by the ears, * In the first edition of the first part of this poem, printed separately, we read dudgeon. But on the publication of the sec- ond part, when the first was reprinted with several additions and alterations, the word dudgeon was changed to fury ; as ap- pears in a copy corrected by the author’s own hand. The pub- lisher in 1704, and the subsequent ones, have taken the liberty of correcting the author’s copy, restored the word dudgeon, and many other readings: changing them, I think I may say, for the worse, in several passages. Indeed, while the Editor ol 1704 replaces this word, and contends for it, he seems to show its im- propriety. “ To take in dudgeon,” says he, “ is inwardly to re- “ sent, a sort of grumbling in the gizzard, and what was previous “ to actual fury.” Yet in the next lines we have men falling out, set together by the ears, and fighting. I doubt not but the inconsistency of these expressions occurred to the author, and induced him to change the word, that his sense might be clear, and the sera of his poem certain and unifonm.— Dudgeon, in its primitive sense, signifies a dagger ; and figuratively, such hatred and sullenness as occasion men to employ short concealed weapons. Some readers may be fond of the word dudgeon, as a burlesque term, and suitable, as they think, to the nature of the poem : but the judicious critic will observe, that the poet is not always in a drolling humor, and might not think fit to fall into it in the first line : he chooses his words not by the oddness or uncouthness of the sound, but by the propriety of their sig- nification. Besides, the word dudgeon, in the figurative sense, though not in its primitive one, is generally taken for a monoptote in the ablative case, to take in dudgeon, which might be another reason why the poet changed it into fury, bee line 379- f Dr. Perrincheif’s Life of Charles I. says, “ There will never “be wanting, in any country, some discontented spirits, and “ some designing craftsmen : but when these confusions began, “ the more part knew not wherefore they were come together. t Hard words — Probably the jargon and cant-words used by the Presbyterians, and other sectaries. They called themselves the elect, the saints, the predestinated : and their opponents they called Papists, Prelatists, ill-designing, reprobate, profligate, &c &c 3 34 HUDIBRAS. [PutT 1, 5 And made them fight, like mad or drunk, For dame Religion as for Punk ;* “In the body politic, when the spiritual and windy power movoth the members of a commonwealth, and by strange and “ hard words suffocates their understanding, it must needs there- u by distract the people, and either overwhelm the common- wealth with oppression, or cast it into the fire of a civil war ” Hobbes. Jealousies — Bishop Burnet, in the house of lords, on the first article of the impeachment of Sacheverel, says, “ The true oc “ casion of the war was a jealousy, that a conduct of fifteen “years had given too much ground for; and that was still kept “ up by a fatal train of errors in every step.” See also the king’s speech, Dec. 2, 1641. And fears — Of superstition and Popery in the church, and of arbitrary power and tyranny in the state : and so prepossessed were many persons with these fears, that, like the hero of this poem, they would imagine a bear-baiting to be a deep design against the religion and liberty of the country. Lord Clarendon tells us, that the English were the happiest people under the sun, while the king was undisturbed in the administration of justice ; but a too much felicity had made them unmanageable by moderate government; a long peace having softened almost all the noblesse into court pleasures, and made the commoners insolent by great plenty. King Charles, in the fourth year of his reign, tells the lords, “ We have been willing so far to descend to the desires of our “ good subjects, as fully to satisfie all moderate minds, and free “ them from all just fears and jealousies.” The words jealousies and fears, were bandied between the king and the parliament in all their papers, before the absolute breaking out of the war They were used by the parliament to the king, in their petition for the militia, March 1, 1641-2 ; and by the king in his answer: “ You speak of jealousies and fears, lay your hands to your “ hearts and ask yourselves, whether I may not be disturbed “ with jealousies and fears.” And the parliament, in their de- claration to the king at Newmarket, March 9, say, *' Those fears “ and jealousies of ours which your majesty thinks to be cause- “ less, and without just ground, do necessarily and clearly arise “ from those dangers and distempers into which your evil coun- “ cils have brought us : but those other fears and jealousies of “ yours, have no foundation or subsistence in any action, inten. tion, or miscarriage of ours, but are merely grounded on false ‘ hood and malice.” The terms had been used before by the Earl of Carlisle to James I., 14 Feb. 1623. “ Nothing will more dishearten the en- ‘ vious maligners of your majesty’s felicity, and encourage your “ true-hearted friends and servants, than the removing those “ false fears and jealousies, which are mere imaginary phan- “ tasms, and bodies of air easily dissipated, whensoever it shall “ please the sun of your majesty to shew itself clearly in its “ native brightness, lustre, and goodness,” * Punk — From the Anglo-Saxon pung ; it signifies a bawd Anus instar corii ad ignem siccati. (Skinner.) Sometimes scor turn, scortillum. Sir John Suckling says, Religion now is a young mistress here For which each man will fight and die at least : Let it alone awhile, and ’twill become Canto i.] HUD1BRAS. 35 Whose honesty they all durst swear for, Tho’ not a man of them knew wherefore When Gospel-Trumpeter, surrounded With long-ear’ d rout, to battle sounded,* * 10 And pulpit, drum ecclesiastick, Was beat with fist, instead of a stick ;+ Then did Sir Knight abandon dwelling, And out he rode a colonelling.t A Wight he was,§ whose very sight wou d IS Entitle him Mirror of Knight-hood ;1| A kind of married wife ; people will be Content to live with it in quietness. * Mr. Butler told Thomas Veal; esquire, of Simons-hall, Gloucestershire, that the Puritans had a custom of putting their hands behind their ears, at sermons, and bending them forward under pretence of hearing the better. He had seen _five or a thousand large ears pricked up as soon as the text was named. Besides, they wore their hair very short, which showed their ears the more. See Godwin’s notes m Bodley library . Dr Bui we r in his Anthropometamorphosis, or Artificial Changeling, tells us wonderful stories of the size of men s ears in some countries.— Pliny, lib. 7, c. 2, speaks of a people on the borders of India, who covered themselves with their ears. And Purchas in his Pilgrim, saith, that in the island Arucetto, there are men’ and ~ bavin, earn of such bigness that they he upon one as a bed, and cover themselves with the other. I here mention the idle tales of these authors, because their works, together with Brown’s Vulgar Errors, are the frequent ohject of known from the history of those times, that the seeds of rebellion were first sown, and afterwards cuhivated, by 6 th^factioi^ preachers in conventicles, and the seditious and srhismatical lecturers, who had crept into many churches, es neciX about LondoA. “These men,” says Lord Clarendon, “ had from the beginning of the parliament, infused seditious “ inclinations into the hearts of all men, against the government “ in church and state : but after the raising an army, and reject- ing the king’s overtures for peace, they contained themselves « within no bounds, but filled all the pulpits with alarms of rain “ and destruction, if a peace were offered or accepted. The preachers used violent action, and made the pulpit an instm ment of sedition, as the drum was of Dr. tout^ m one ol his sermons, says, “The pulpit supplied the field with sword “ mpn and the parliament-house with incendiaries. + Some have imagined from hence, that by Hudibras, was in- tended Sir Samuel Luke of Bedfordshire. Sir Samuel was an active iustice of the peace, chairman of the quarter sessions, Sel J of a regiment of foot in the parliament army, and a committee-man of that county : but the poet s satire is general, n< § *Wight is originally a Saxon word, and signifies a person or Being. It is often used by Chaucer, and the old poets. Some times it means a witch or conjuror. ! A favorite title in romances. 3e HUD 1 BRAS. [Part i That never bent his stubborn knee 515 To any thing but chivalry ; Nor put up blow, but that which laid Right worshipful on shoulder-blade :t »o Chief of domestic knights, and errant, Either for ch artel t or for warrant : Great on the bench, great in the saddle, That could as well bind o’er, as swaddle :§ Mighty he was at both of these, 25 And styl’d of War as well as Peace. So some rats of amphibious nature, Are either for the land or water. But here our authors make a doubt, Whether he were more wise, or stout.Jj 30 Some hold the one, and some the other ; But howsoe’er they make a pother, The diff’rence was so small, his brain Outweigh’d his rage but half a grain ; Which made some take him for a tool 35 That knaves do work with, call’d a Fool ; And offer’d to lay wagers, that As Montaigne, playing with his cat, * Alluding to the Presbyterians, who refused to kneel at the Sacrament of the Lord’s Supper, and insisted upon receiving it in a sitting or standing posture. See Baxter’s Life, &c. &c. In some of the kirks in Scotland, the pews are so made, that it is very difficult for any one to kneel. t That is, did not suffer a blow to pass unrevenged, except the one by which the king knighted him. t For a challenge. He was a military as well as a civil offi- cer — apipdrepov fiaoriXstis r* * * § ayaOds Pope translates it, Kparepdg r’ a/%/u irfjs. II. iii. 37.9. Great in the war, and great in arts of sway. II. iii. 236. Plutarch tells us, that Alexander the Great was wonderfully delighted with this line. § Swaddle . — That is, to beat or cudgel, says Johnson ; but the word in the Saxon, signifies to bind up, to try to heal by proper bandages and applications ; hence the verb to swathe , and the adjective swaddling clothes ; the line therefore may signify, that his worship could either make peace, and heal disputes among his neighbors, or, if they could not agree, bind them over to the sessions for trial. || A burlesque on the usual strain of rhetorical flattery, when authors pretend to be puzzled which of their patrons’ noble qualities they should give the preference to. Something similar to this passage is the saying of Julius Capitolinus, concerning the emperor Verus ; “ melior orator quam poeta, aut ut verius dicam pejor poeta quam orator ” HUDIBRAS. 37 Canto i.] Complains she thought him but an ass,* Much more she wou’d Sir Hudibras : For that’s the name our valiant knight To all his challenges did write. But they’re mistaken very much, ’Tis plain enough he was no such : We grant, although he had much wit, H’ was very shy of using it ;+ As being loth to wear it out, And therefore bore it not about, Unless on holy-days, or so, As men their best apparel do. Besides, ’tis known he could speak Greek As naturally as pigs squeek : That Latin was no more difficile, Than to a blackbird ’tis to whistle : Being rich in both, he never scanted His bounty unto such as wanted ; But much of either wou’d afford To many, that had not one word. For Hebrew roots, although they’re found To flourish most in barren ground,! He had such plenty, as suffic’d To make some think him circumcis’d ; And truly so, perhaps, he was, ’Tis many a pious Christian’s case.§ 40 45 50 55 60 * “ When my cat and I,” says Montaigne, “ entertain each ‘ other with mutual apish tricks, as playing with a garter, who “ knows but I make her more sport than she makes me 1 shall 1 “conclude her simple, who has her time to begin or refuse sport- “ iveness as freely as I myself 1 Nay, who knows but she laughs “ at, and censures, my folly, for making her sport, and pities me “ for understanding her no better V' And of animals— “ lls nous “ peuvent estimer b£tes, comme nous les estimons. t The poet, in depicting our knight, blends together his great pretensions, and his real abilities ; giving him high encomiums on his affected character, and dashing them again with his true and natural imperfections. He was a pretended saint, but in fact a very great hypocrite ; a great champion, though an errant coward ; famed for learning, yet a shallow pedant. + Some students in Hebrew have been very angry with these lines, and assert, that they have done more to prevent the study of that language, than all the professors have done to promote it See a letter to the printer of the Diary, dated January 15. 1789, and signed John Ryland. The word for, here means, aS and had thG USe 0f s P eech before the t Alluding to the proverb— “ true blue will never stain*” ng the s j abborna f s of the party, which made them deaf to reason, and incapable of conviction. l Th 5P° e ' ^ ses the word errant with a double meaning ; without doubt in allusion to knights errant in romances: and likewise to the bad sense in which the word is used, as, an errant knave, an errant villain. ’ Cliam || The church on earth is called militant, as struggling with temptations, and subject to persecutions : but the Presbyterians of those days were literally the church militant, fighting with the establishment, and all that opposed them. IT Cornet Joyce, when he carried away the king from Holden- by, being desired by his majesty to show his instructions, drew up his troop in the inward court, and said, “ These, sir, are mv instructions.” * ** How far the character here given of the Presbyterians is a true one, I leave others to guess. When they have not had the upper hand, they certainly have been friends to mildness and Canto i.J HUDIBRAS. 45 Which always must be car^y’d on, And still be doing, never done As if Religion were intended 205 For nothing else but to be mended. A sect, whose chierSevotion lies In odd perverse antipathies :* * * * § In falling out with that or this, And finding somewhat still amiss :t 210 More peevish, cross, and splenetic, Than dog distract, or monkey sick. That with more care keep holy-day The wrong, than others the right way :+ Compound for sins they are inclin’d to, 215 By damning those they have no mind to : Still so perverse and opposite, As if they worshipp’d God for spite. The self-same thing they will abhor One way, and long another for. 220 Free-will they one way disavow, Another, nothing else allow.§ All piety consists therein In them, in other men all sin.|] Rather than fail, they will defy 225 That which they love most tenderly ; Quarrel with minc’d pies,tf and disparage moderation : but Dr. Grey produces passages from some of their violent and absurd writers, which made him think that they had a strong spirit of persecution at the bottom. Some of our brave ancestors said of the Romans, “ Ubi soli- “ tudinem faciunt, pacem appellant.” Tacitus, Vita Agricol. 30. * In all great quarrels, the parties are apt to take pleasure in contradicting each other, even in the most trifling matters. The Presbyterians reckoned it sinful to eat plum-porridge, or minced pies, at Christmas. The cavaliers observing the formal carriage of their adversaries, fell into the opposite extreme, and ate and drank plentifully every day, especially after the restoration. f Queen Elizabeth was often heard to say, that she knew very well what would content the Catholics, but that she never could learn what would content the Puritans. t In the year 1645, Christmas-day was ordered to be observed as a fast : and Oliver, when protector, was feasted by the lord mayor on Ash-Wednesday. When James the First desired the magistrates of Edinburgh to feast the French ambassadors before their return to France, the ministers proclaimed a fast to be kept the same day. . § As maintaining absolute predestination, and denying the liberty of man’s will : at the same time contending for absolute freedom in rites and ceremonies, and the discipline of the church. ti They themselves being the elect, and so incapable of sin- ning, and all others being reprobates, and therefore not capable of performing any good action. If “A sort of inquisition was set up, against the food which 46 HUDIBRAS. [Part i Their best and dearest friend — pium-porridge ; Fat pig and goose itself oppose, And blaspheme custard through the nose. 23C Th’ apostles of this fierce religion, Like Mahomet’s, were ass and widgeon,* * To whom our knight, by fast instinct Of wit and temper, was so linkt, As if hypocrisy and nonsense 235 Had got th’ advowson of his conscience. Thus was he gifted and accouter’d, We. mean on th’ inside, not the outward: That next of all we shall discuss ; Then listen, Sirs, it followeth thus : 240 His tawny beard was th’ equal grace Both of his wisdom and his face ; In cut and dye so like a tile, A sudden view it would beguile : The upper part thereof was whey, 245 The nether orange, mixt with grey. This hairy meteor did denounce The fall of sceptres and of crowns ;t had “ been customarily in use at this season.” Blackall’s Ser mon on Christmas-day. * Mahomet tells us, in the Koran, that the Angel Gabriel brought to him a milk-white beast, called Alborach, something like an ass, but bigger, to carry him to the presence of God. Alborach refused to let him get up, unless he would promise to procure him an entrance into paradise: which Mahomet pro- mising, he got up. Mahomet is also said to have had a tame pigeon, which he taught secretly to eat out of his ear, to make his followers believe, that by means of this bird there were im- parted to him some divine communications. Our poet calls it a widgeon, for the sake of equivoque ; widgeon in the figurative sense, signifying a foolish silly fellow. It is usual to say of such a person, that he is as wise as a widgeon : and a drinking song has these lines. — Mahomet was no divine, but a senseless widgeon, To forbid the use of wine to those of his religion. Widgeon and weaver, says Mr. Ray, in his Philosophical Let- ters, are male and female sex. “ There are still a multitude of doves about Mecca preserved “ and fed there with great care and superstition, being thought “ to be of the breed of that dove which spake in the ear of Ma- “ hornet.” Sandys’ Travels. f Alluding- to the vulgar opinion, that comets are always predictive of some public calamity. Et nunquam ccelo spectatum impune cometen. Pliny calls a comet crinita. Mr. Butler in his Genuine Remains, vol. i. p. 54. says, Which way the dreadful comet went In sixty-four, and what it meant 1 Cajvto I.j HUDIBRAS 47 With grisly type did represent Declining age of government, 250 And tell, with hieroglyphic spade, Its own grave and the state’s were made. Like Sampson’s heart-breakers, it grew In time to make a nation rue ;* * * * § Tho’ it contributed its own fall, 255 To wait upon the public downfall :t It was canonic , X and did grow In holy orders by strict vow :§ What Nations yet are to bewail The operations of its tail : Or whether France or Holland yet, Or Germany, be in its debt? What wars and plagues in Christendom Have happen’d since, and what to come 1 What kings are dead, how many queens And princesses are poison’d since ? And who shall next of all by turn, Make courts wear black, and tradesmen mourn ? And when again shall lay embargo Upon the admiral, the good ship Argo. Homer, as translated by Pope, Iliad iv. 434, says, While dreadful comets glaring from afar, Forewarn’d the horrors of the Theban war. * Heart-breakers were particular curls worn by the ladies, and sometimes by men. Sampson’s strength consisted in his hair; when that was cut off, he was taken prisoner ; when it grew again, he was able to pull down the house, and destroy his ene- mies. See Judges, cap. xvi. t Many of the Presbyterians and Independents swore not to cut their beards, not, like Mephibosheth, till the king was re- stored, but till monarchy and episcopacy were ruined. Such vows were common among the barbarous nations, especially the Germans. Civilis, as we learn from Tacitus, having destroyed the Roman legions, cut his hair, which he had vowed to let grow from his first taking up arms. And it became at length a na- tional custom among some of the Germans, never to trim their hair, or their beards, till they had killed an enemy. 1 The latter editions, for canonic , read monastic. § This line would make one think, that in the preceding one we ought to read monastic ; though the vow of not shaving the beard till some particular event happened, was not uncommon in those times. In a humorous poem, falsely ascribed to Mr, Butler, entitled, The Cobler and Vicar of Bray, we read, This worthy knight was one that swore He would not cut his beard, Till this ungodly nation was From kings and bishops clear’d. Which holy vow he firmly kept, And most devoutly wore A grisly meteor on his face, Till they were both no more 48 HUD1BRAS. [.Part i Of rule as sullen and severe As that of rigid Cordeliere :* ’Twas bound to suffer persecution And martyrdom with resolution ; T’ oppose itself against the hate And vengeance of th’ incensed state : In whose defiance it was worn, Still ready to be pull’d and torn, With red-hot irons to be tortur’d, Revil’d, and spit upon, and martyr’d: Maugre all which, ’twas to stand fast, As long as monarchy should last ; But when the state should hap to reel, ’Twas to submit to fatal steel, And fall, as it was consecrate, A sacrifice to fall of state ; Whose thread of life the fatal sisters Bid twist together with its whiskers, And twine so close, that Time should never, In life or death, their fortunes sever ; But with his rusty sickle mow Both down together at a blow. So learned Taliacotius, from The brawny part of porter’s bum, Cut supplemental noses, which Would last as long as parent breech :t *260 261 270 275 280 * An order so called in France, from the knotted cord which they wore about their middles. In England they were named Grey Friars, and were the strictest branch of the Franciscans. t Taliacotius was professor of physic and surgery at Bologna, where he was born, 1553. His treatise is well known. He says, the operation has been practised by others before him with suc- cess See a very humorous account of him, Tatler, No. 260. The* design of Taliacotius has been improved into a method of holding correspondence at a great distance, by the sympathy of flesh transferred from one body to another. If two persons ex- change a piece of flesh from the bicepital muscle of the arm, and circumscribe it with an alphabet ; when the one pricks him- self in A, the other is to have a sensation thereof in the same part, and by inspecting his arm, perceive what letter the other P °Our author likewise intended to ridicule Sir Kenelm Digby, who, in his Treatise on the sympathetic powder, mentions, but with caution, this method of engrafting noses. It has been ob- served, that the ingenuity of the ancients seenis to have failed them on a similar occasion, since they were obliged to piece ou. the mutilated shoulder of Pelops with ivory. In latter days it has been a common practice with dentists, U draw the teeth of young chimney-sweepers, and hx them in the heads of other persons. There was a lady whose mouth was supplied in this manner. After some time the boy claimed the Canto i.] HUDIBRAS 49 285 But when the date of Nock was out,* * Off dropt the sympathetic snout. His back, or rather burthen, show’d As if it stoop’d with its own load. For as iEneas bore his sire Upon his shoulders thro’ the fire, 290 Our knight did bear no less a pack Of his own buttocks on his back : Which now had almost got the upper- Hand of his head, for want of crupper. To poise this equally, he bore 295 A paunch of the same bulk before : Which still he had a special care To keep well-cramm’d with thrifty fare : As white-pot, butter-milk, and curds, Such as a country-house affords ; 300 With other victual, which anon We farther shall dilate upon, When of his hose we come to treat, The cup-board where he kept his meat. His doublet was of sturdy buff, 305 And though not sword, yet cudgel-proof, Whereby ’twas fitter for his use, Who fear’d no blows but such as bruise.t His breeches were of rugged woollen, And had been at the siege of Bullen 310 tooth, and went to a justice of peace for a warrant against the lady, who, he alleged, had stolen it. The case would have puzzled Sir Hudibras. Dr. Hunter mentions some ill effects of the practice. A per- son who gains a tooth, may soon after want a nose. The simile has been translated into Latin thus : Sic adscititios nasos de clune torosi Vectoris docta secuit Taliacotius arte : Q.ui potuere parem durando square parentem ; At postquam fato clunis computruit, ipsum Una symphaticum ccepit tabescere rostrum * Nock is a British word, signifying a slit or crack. And hence figuratively, nates, la fesse, the fundament. Nock, Nockys, is used by Gawin Douglas in his version of the JEneid, for the bottom, or extremity of any thing ; Glossarists say, the word hath that sense both in Italian and Dutch : others think it a British word. t A man of nice honor suffers more from a kick, or slap in the face, than from a wound. Sir Walter Raleigh says, to be strucken with a sword is like a man, but to be strucken with a stick is like a slave. t Henry VIII. besieged Boulogne in person, July 14, 1544. He was very fat, and consequently his breechfes very large. See the paintings at Cowdry in Su ssex, and the engravings published 3 HUDIBRxlS. [Part l 50 To old King Harry so well known, Some writers held they were his own, Thro’ they were lin’d with many a piece Of ammunition-bread and cheese, And fat black-puddings, proper food For warriors that delight in blood : For, as we said, he always chose To carry vittle in his hose, That often tempted rats and mice, The ammunition to surprise : And when he put a hand but in The one or th’ other magazine, They stoutly in defence on’t stood, And from the wounded foe drew blood , And till th’ were storm’d and beaten out Ne’er left the fortifi’d redoubt ; And tho’ knights errant, as some think, Of old did neither eat nor di ink,* Because when thorough desarts vast, And regions desolate they past, Where belly -timber above ground, Or under, was not to be found, Unless they graz’d, there’s not one word Of their provision on record : Which made some confidently write, They had no stomachs but to fight. ’Tis false : for Arthur wore in hallt Round table like a farthingal,t 315 32C 325 330 335 by the Society of Antiquaries. Their breeches and hose were the same, Port-hose, Trunk-hose, Pantaloons, were all like our sailors’ trowsers. See Pedules in Cowel, and the /4th canon aa fin | I u*Tl 10U gl 1 x think, says Don duixote, that I have read as “ many histories of chivalry in my time as any other man, I “ never could find that knights errant ever eat, unless it wete “by mere accident, when they were invited to great feasts and u /oyal banquets ; at other times, they indulged themselves with “ little other food besides their thoughts.” t Arthur fs said to have lived about the year 530, and to have been born in 501, but so many romantic exploits are attributed to him, that some have doubted whether there was any truth at all in his historv. , Geoffrey of Monmouth calls him the son of Uther Pendragon, others think he was himself called Uther Pendragon : Uther sig- nifying in the British tongue a club, because as with a club he beat down the Saxons : Pendragon, because he wore a dragon on the crest of his helmet. , , , 1 The farthingal was a sort of hoop worn by the ladies. King Arthur is said to h&ve made choice of the round table that his knights might not quarrel about precedence. Canto i.] HU DISK AS. 51 On which, with shirt pull’d out behind, And eke before, his good knights din’d. 340 Tho’ ’twas no table some suppose, But g, huge pair of round trunk hose : In which he carry’d as much meat, As he and all his knights could eat,* When laying by their swords and truncheons, 345 They took their breakfasts, or their nuncheons.t But let that pass at present, lest We should forget where we digrest ; As learned authors use, to whom We leave it, and to th’ purpose come. 350 His puissant sword unto his side, Near his undaunted heart, was ty’d, With basket-hilt, that would hold broth, And serve for fight and dinner both. In it he melted lead for bullets, 355 To shoot at foes, and sometimes pullets ; To whom he bore so fell a grutch, He ne’er gave quarter t’ any such. The trenchant blade, Toledo trusty, t For want of fighting was grown rusty, 360 And ate into itself, for lack Of somebody to hew and hack. The peaceful scabbard where it dwelt, The rancour of its edge had felt : For of the lower end two handful 365 It had devour’d, ’twas so manful, And so much scorn’d to lurk in case, As if it durst not shew its face. * Tme-wit, in Ben Jonson’s Silent Woman, says of Sir Amor- ous La Fool, “ If he could but victual himself for half a year in “ his breeches, he is sufficiently armed to over-run a country.” Act 4, sc. 5. t Nuncheons . — Meals now made by the servants of most fam- ilies about noon-tide, or twelve o’clock. Our ancestors in the 13th and 14th centuries had four meals a day, — breakfast at 7 ; dinner at 10 ; supper at 4 ; and livery at 8 or 9 ; soon after which they went to-bed. See the Earl of Northumberland’s household- book. The tradesmen and laboring people had only 3 meals a day, —breakfast at 8 ; dinner at 12 ; and supper at 6. They had no livery. t Toledo is a city in Spain, the capital of New Castile, famous for the manufacture of swords : the Toledo blades were general- ly broad, to wear on horseback, and of great length, suitable to the old Spanish dress. See Dillon’s Voyage through Spain, 4to. 782. But those which I have seen were narrow, like a stiletto, Out much longer : though probably our hero’s was broad, as is implied by the epithet trenchant; cutting. 52 HUJDIBRAS [Part i In many desperate attempts, Of warrants, exigents,* * * § contempts, 370 It had appear’d with courage bolder Than Serjeant Bum invading shoulder :t Oft had it ta’en possession, And pris’ners too, or made them run. This sword a dagger had, his page, 375 That was but little for his age : t And therefore waited on him so, As dwarfs upon knights errant do. It was a serviceable dudgeon, § Either for fighting or for drudging:|| When it had stabb’d, or broke a head, It would scrape trenchers, or chip bread, Toast cheese or bacon, IT though it were To bait a mouse-trap, ’twould not care : ’Twould make clean shoes, and in the earth 385 Set leeks and onions, and so forth : It had been ’prentice to a brewer,** * Exigent is a writ issued in order to bring a person to an out- lawry, if he does not appear to answer the suit commenced against him. t Alluding to the method by which bum-bailiffs, as they are called, arrest persons, giving them a tap on the shoulder. x Thus Homer accoutres Agamemnon with a dagger hanging near his sword, which he used instead of a knife. Iliad. Lib. iii. 271. A gentleman producing some wine to his guests in small glasses, and saying it was sixteen years old ; a person replied it was very small for its age — iniddvTog tivos olvov iv^vKTrjpidiip piKpoVy Kai elndvrog otl iKKaiheKahri? piKpdg ye, e(prj i wg ToavTwv eruv. Athenseus Ed. Casaubon. pp. 584 and 585, lib xiii. 289. § A dudgeon was a short sword, or dagger: from the Teutonic degen, a sword. || That is for doing any drudgery-work, such as follows in the next verses. IT Corporal Nim says, in Shakspeare’s Henry V., “I dare not “fight, but I will wink, and hold out mine iron: it is a simple “ one, but what though— it will toast cheese.” ** This was a common joke upon Oliver Cromwell, who was said to have been a partner in a brewery. It was frequently made the subject of lampoon during his life-time. In the collec- tion of loyal songs, is one called the Protecting Brewer, which has these stanzas — A brewer may be as bold as a hector, When as he had drunk his cup of nectar, And a brewer may be a Lord Protector, Whiqh nobody can deny. Now here remains the strangest thing. How this brewer about his liquor did bring To be an emperor or a king, Which nobody can deny. Canto i.j HUDIBRAS. 53 Where this, and more, it did endure ; But left the trade, as many more Have lately done, on the same score. 390 In th’ holsters, at the saddle-bow, Two aged pistols he did stow, Among the surplus of such meat As in his hose he could not get. These would inveigle rats with th’ scent, 395 To forage when the cocks were bent ; And sometimes catch ’em with a snap, As cleverly as th’ ablest trap.* * They were upon hard duty still, And every night stood sentinel, 400 To guard the magazine in th’ hose, From two-legg’d and from four-legg’d foes. Thus clad and fortify’d, Sir Knight, From peaceful home set forth to fight. But first with nimble active force, 405 He got on th’ outside of his horse :t For having but one stirrup ty’d T’ his saddle, on the further side, It was so short h’ had much ado To reach it with his desp’rate toe. 410 But after many strains and heaves, He got upon the saddle eaves, From whence he vaulted into th’ seat, With so much vigour, strength, and heat, That he had almost tumbled over 415 With his own weight, but did recover, By laying hold on tail and mane, Which oft he us’d instead of rein. But now we talk of mounting steed, Before we further do proceed, 420 But whether Oliver was really concerned in a brewery, at any period of his life, it is difficult to determine. Heath, one of his professed enemies, assures us, in his Flagellum, that there was no foundation for the report. Colonel Pride had been a brewer: Colonel Hewson was first a shoemaker, then a brewer’s clerk : and Scott had been clerk to a brewer. * This and the preceding couplet were in the first editions, but afterwards left out in the author’s copy. f Nothing can be more completely droll, than this description of Hudibras mounting his horse. He had one stirrup tied on the off-side very short, the saddle very large ; the knight short, fat, and deformed, having his breeches and pockets stuffed with black puddings and other provision, overacting his effort to mount, and nearly tumbling over on the opposite side ; his sin- gle spur, we may suppose, catching in some of his horse’s furni- ture. HUDIBRAfe. [Part 425 430 135 54 It doth behove us to say something Of that which bore our valiant bumkm.* The beast was sturdy, large, and tall, With mouth of meal, and eyes of wall ; I would say eye, for h’ had but one, As most agree, though some say none. He was well stay’d, and in his gait, Preserv’d a grave, majestic state. At spur or switch no more he skipt, Or mended pace, tnan Spaniard whipt :t And yet so fiery, he would bound, As if he griev’d to touch the ground : That Caesar’s horse, who, as fame goes, Had corns upon his feet and toes,t Was not by half so tender-hooft, Nor trod upon the ground so soft : And as that beast would kneel and stoop, Some write, to take his rider up,§ * A silly country fellow, or awkward stick of wood, from the Belgboom, arbor, and ken, or kin, a diminutive. . . t This alludes to the story of a Spaniard, who was condemned to run the gantlet, and disdained to avoid any part of the punish- TsaltSsrelat^haithehoof, of Caesar’s horse were di- vided like toes. And again, Lycosthenes, de prodigns et por- tentis, p. 214, has the following passage : “ Julius Caesar cum “ Lusitaniae praeesset— equus insignis, fissis unguibus antenorum “ pedum, et propemodum digitorum humanoriim natusest; lerox “ admodum, atque elatus : quern naturn apud se, cum auruspices “ imperium orbis terrae significare domino pronuntiassent, magna “ cura aluit ; nec patientem sessoris alterius, primus ascendit : “cuius etiam signum pro JEde Veneris genetncis postea dedica- te v it ’’—The statue of Julius Caesar’s horse, which was placed before the temple of Venus Genetrix, had the hoofs of the fore feet parted Uke the toes of a man. Montfaucou s Antiq. v. u. p.58 In Havercamp’s Medals of Christina on the reverse of a corn of Gordianus Pius, pi. 34, is represented an horse with two hu- man fore feet, or rather one a foot, the other a hand. Anon 1S * said, by the scholiast, on Statius Theb. vi. ver. 301, to have had the feet of a man — humano vestigio dextn pedis. Tstirrups were not in use in the time of Ciesar Common nefsons who were active and hardy, vaulted into their seats; and persons of distinction had their horses; taught 1 ‘P^^'ors toward the ground, or else they were assisted by .heir stra tors or eauerries. U. Curtius mentions a remarkable instance of do- cility of the elephants in the army of king Porus : Irt dus more “ solito elephantum procumbere jussit in genua; qui ut se sub- “missit, ceteri quoque, ita enim instituti erant denn^ “ in terram.” I know no writer who relates that Caesar s horse would kneel; and perhaps Mr. Butler’s memory deceive^him. Of Bucephalus, the favored steed of Alexander, it is said llle “ necfn dorso insidere suo patiebatur alium; et regem, + quum “vellet ascendere sponte sua genua submittens, ®^P ieb |^’ t t “debaturque sentire quern veheret. See also Diodor, bicul. et HL LIBRAS. 55 Onto i.] So Hudibras his, ’tis well known, Would often do, to set him down. 440 We shall not need to say what lack Of leather was upon his back : For that was hidden under pad, And breech of Knight gall’d full as bad. His strutting ribs on both sides show’d 445 Like furrows he himself had plow’d : For underneath the skirt of pannel, ’Twixt every two there was a channel. His draggling tail hung in the dirt, Which on his rider he would flirt ; 4* *50 Still as his tender side he prickt, With arm’d heel, or with unarm’d, kickt ; For Hudibras wore but one spur, As wisely knowing, could he stir To active trot one side of ’s horse, 455 The other would not hang an arse. A Squire he had, whose name was Ralph,* Plutarch. de solert. animal. Mr. Butler, in his MS. Common' place Book, applies the saddle to the right horse ; for he says, Like Bucephalus’s brutish honor, Would have none mount but the right owner. Hudibras’s horse is described very much in the same manner with that of Don Quixote’s lean, stiff, jaded, foundered, with a sharp ridge of bones. Rozinante, however, could boast of “ mas “quartos que un real” — an equivoque entirely lost in most translations. Quarto signifies a crack, or chop, in a horse’s hoof or heel : it also signifies a small piece of money, several of which go to make a real. * As the knight was of the Presbyterian party, so the squire was an Anabaptist or Independent. This gives our author an opportunity of characterizing both these sects, and of shewing their joint concurrence against the king and church. The Presbyterians and Independents had each a separate form of church discipline. The Presbyterian system appointed, for every parish, a minister, one or more deacons, and two ruling elders, who were laymen chosen by the parishioners. Each parish was subject to a classis, or union of several parishes. A deputation of two ministers and four ruling elders, from every classis in the county, constituted a provincial synod. And su- perior to the provincial was the national synod, consisting of deputies from the former, in the proportion of two ruling elders to one minister. Appeals were allowed throughout these several jurisdictions, and ultimately to the parliament. On the attachment of the Presbyterians to their lay-elders, Mr. Seldon observes in his Table-talk, p- 118, that “ there must be some lay- “ men in the synod to overlook the clergy, lest they spoil the “ civil work : just as when the good woman puts a cat into the “ milk-house, she sends her maid to look after the cat, lest the “ cat should eat up the cream.” The Independents maintained, that every congregation was a complete church within itself, and had no dependence on clas- 56 HUDIBRAS. [Part . That in th’ adventure went his half Though writers, for more stately tone, Do call him Ralpho, ’tis all one : 460 And when we can, with metre safe, We’ll call him so, if not, plain Raph For rhyme the rudder is of verses, With which, like ships, they steer their courses. An equal stock of wit and valor 465 He had lain in, by birth a tailor. The mighty Tyrian queen that gain’d, With subtle shreds, a tract of land,1 Did leave it, with a castle fair, To his great ancestor, her heir ; 470 From him descended cross-legg’d knights, t Fam’d for their faith and warlike fights Against the bloody Cannibal, § sical, provincial, or national synods or assemblies. They chose their own ministers, and required no ordination or laying on of hands, as the Presbyterians did. They admitted any gifted bro- ther, that is, any enthusiast who thought he could preach oi pray, into their assemblies. They entered into covenant with their minister, and he with them. Soon after the Revolution the Presbyterians and Independents coalesced, the former yield- ing in some respects to the latter. * Paulino Ausonius, metrum sic suasit, ut esses Tu prior, et nomen prsegrederere raeum. Sir Roger L’Estrange supposes, that in his description of Ral pho, our author had in view one Isaac Robinson, a butcher in Moorfields: others think that the character was designed for Premble, a tailor, and one of the committee of sequestrators. Dr. Grey supposes, that the name of Ralph was taken from the grocer’s apprentice, in Beaumont and Fletcher’s play, called the Knight of the Burning Pestle. Mr. Pemberton, who was a rela- tion and godson of Mr. Butler, said, that the ’squire was designed for Ralph Bedford, esquire, member of parliament for the town of Bedford. t The allusion is to the well-known story of Dido, who pur- chased as much land as she could surround with an ox’s hide. She cut the hide into small strips, and obtained twenty-two fur- longs. Mercatique solum, facti de nomine Byrsam, Taurino quantum possent circumdare tergo. Yirg. iEneid, lib. i. 367. X Tailors, who usually sit at their work in this posture ; and knights of the Holy Voyage, persons who had made a vow to go to the Holy Land, after death were represented on their monu- ments with their legs across. “ Sumptuosissima per orbem “christianum erecta coenobia; in quibus hodie quoque videre “ licet militum illorum imagines, monumenta, tibiis in crucem “ transversis : sic enim sepulti fuerunt quotquot illo seculo nom- M ina bello sacro dedissent, vel qui tunc temporis crucem susce- 44 pissent.” Chronic. Ecclesiast. lib. ii. p. 72. $ Tailors, as well as knights of the Holy Voyage, are famed HUDIBRAS. 57 Canto i.] Whom they destroy’d both great and small. This sturdy Squire had, as well 475 As the bold Trojan knight, seen hell,* * * * § Not with a counterfeited pass Of golden bough, t but true gold lace. His knowledge was not far behind The knight’s, but of another kind, 480 And he another way came by’t ; Some call it gifts, and some new light. A lib’ral art that costs no pains Of study, industry, or brains. His wits were sent him for a token, 485 But in the carriage crack’d and broken.! Like commendation ninepence crookt, With — to and from my love — it lookt.§ for their faith, the former frequently trusting much in the way of their trade. The words, bloody cannibal, are not altogether applied to the Saracens, who, on many occasions, behaved with great generosity ; but they denote a more insignificant creature, to whom the tailor is said to be an avowed enemy. * In allusion to ^Eneas’s descent into hell, and the tailor’s re- pairing to the place under the board on which he sat to work, called hell likewise, being a receptacle for all the stolen scraps of cloth, lace, &c. t Mr. Montague Bacon says, it should seem, by these lines, that the poet thought Virgil meant a counterfeited bough; Dr. Plot, in his History of Staffordshire, says, that gold in the mines often grows in the shape of boughs, and branches, and leaves ; therefore Virgil, w ho understood nature well, though he gave it a poetical turn, means no more than a sign of ^Eneas’s going under ground where mines are. t That is, that he was crack-brained. § From this passage, and from the proverb used, (Post. Works, v. ii. No. 114,) viz., “ he has brought his noble to a ninepence,” one would be led to conclude that some coins had actually been strucken of this denomination and value. And, indeed, two in- stances of this are recorded by Mr. Folkes, both during the civil wars, the one at Dublin, and the other at Newark. Table of English coins, ed. 1763, p. 92, plates 27, 4, and 28. But long be- fore this period, by royal proclamation of July 9, 1551, the base testoons or shillings of Henry VIII. and Edward VI. were rated at ninepence, (Folkes, ibid. p. 37,) and of these there were great numbers. It may be conjectured also, that the clipt shillings of Edward and Elizabeth, and, perhaps, some foreign silver coins, might pass by common allowance and tacit agreement for nine- pence, and be so called. In William Prynne’s answer to John Audland the Quaker, in Butler’s Genuine Remains, vol. i. p. 382, we read, a light piece of gold is good and lawful English coin, current with allowance, though it be clipt, filed, washed, or worn: even so are my ears legal, warrantable, and sufficient ears, however they have been clipt, par’d, cropt, circumcis’d. In Queen Elizabeth’s time, as Holinshed, Stow, and Camden affirm, a proclamation was issued, declaring that the testoons coined for twelve-pence, should be current for four-pence half* penny ; an inferior sort, marked with a greyhound, for two-pence 3 * 58 HUDIBRAS. [Part i He ne’er consider’d it, as loth* * To look a gift horse in the mouth ; 490 And very wisely would lay forth No more upon it than ’twas worth, t But as he got it freely, so He spent it frank and freely too. For saints themselves will sometimes be, 495 Of gifts that cost them nothing, free. By means of this, with hem and cough, Prolongers to enlighten’d snuff, I He cauld deep mysteries unriddle, farthing ; and a third and worst sort not to be current at all : stamping and milling money took place about the year 1662. All or any of these pieces might serve for pocket -pieces among the vulgar, and be given to their sweethearts or comrades, as tokens of remembrance and affection. At this day an Eliza- beth’s shilling is not unfrequently applied to such purpose. The country people say commonly, I will use your commendations, that is, make your compliments. George Philips, before his execution, bended a sixpence, and presented it to a friend of his, Mr. Stroud. He gave a bended shilling to one Mr. Clark. See a brief narrative of the stupendous tragedy intended by the satan- ical saints, 1662, p. 59. * That is, he did not consider it was crackt and broken, or per- haps it may mean, he did not overvalue, and hoard it up, it being given him by inspiration, according to the doctrine of the Independents. t When the barber came to shave Sir Thomas More the morning of his execution, the prisoner told him, “ that there was a contest betwixt the King and him for his head, and he “ would not willingly lay out more upon it than it was worth.” t Prolongers to enlighten'd snuff . — This reading seems con- firmed by Butler’s Genuine Remains, vol. i. p. 55, and I prefer it to “ enlightened stuff.” Enlightened snuff is a good allusion. As a lamp just expiring with a faint light for want of oil, emits flashes at intervals ; so the tailor’s shallow discourse, like the extempore preaching of his brethren, was lengthened out with hems and coughs, with stops and pauses, for want of matter. The preachers of those days considered hems, nasal tones, and coughs, as graces of oratory. Some of their discourses are printed with breaks and marginal notes, which shew where the preacher introduced his embellishments. The expiring state of the lamp has furnished Mr. Addison with a beautiful simile in his Cato : Thus o’er the dying lamp tli’ unsteady flame Hangs quivering on a point, leaps off by fits, And falls again, as loath to quit its hold And Mr. Butler, Partiii. Cant. ii. 1. 349, says, Prolong the snuff of life in pain, And from the grave recover — gain. See also Genuine Remains, vol. i. p. 374. “ And this serves il thee to the same purpose that hem’s and hah’s do thy gifted '‘ghostly fathers, that is, to lose time, and put off thy commodity.’’ Butler seems fond of this expression : “ the sn iff of the moon is full as harsh as the snuff of a sermon.” Canto i.] HUDIBRAS. 59 500 As easily as thread a needle ; For as of vagabonds we say, That they are ne’er beside their way : Whate’er men speak by this new light, Still they are sure to be i’ th’ right, ’Tis a dark-lanthorn of the spirit, 505 Which none see by but those that bear it ; A light that falls down from on high,* * * § For spiritual trades to cozen by : An ignis fatuus, that bewitches, And leads men into pools and ditches, t 510 To make them dip themselves, and sound For Christendom in dirty pond ; To dive, like wild-fowl, for salvation, And fish to catch regeneration. This light inspires, and plays upon 515 The nose of saint, like bagpipe drone, And speaks through hollow empty soul, As through a trunk, or whisp’ring hole, Such language as no mortal ear But spiritual eaves-droppers can hear. 520 So Phoebus, or some friendly muse, Into small poets song infuse ; Which they at second-hand rehearse, Thro’ reed or bagpipe, verse for verse Thus Ralph became infallible, 525 As three or four legg’d oracle, The ancient cup or modern chair ;t Spoke truth point blank, though unaware. For mystic learning wondrous able In magic talisman, and cabal, § 530 * A burlesque parallel between the spiritual gifts, and the sky-lights which tradesmen sometimes have in their shops tc shew their goods to advantage. f An humorous parallel between the vapory exhalation which misleads the traveller, and the re-baptizing practised by the Anabaptists. t “Is not this the cup, saith Joseph’s steward, whereby in- deed my lord divined V* The Pope’s dictates are said to be infallible, when he delivers them ex cathedra. The priestess of Apollo at Delphos used a three-legged stool when she gave out her oracles. From Joseph’s cup, perhaps, came the idea of telling fortunes by coffee grounds. Four-legged oracle, means telling fortunes from quadrupeds. The word oracle occurs in like latitude, p. 2, c. iii. v. 569. § Talisman was a magical inscription or figure, engraven, or cast, by the direction of astrologers, under certain positions of the heavenly bodies. The talisman of Apolionius, which stood in the hippodrome at Constantinople, was a brazen eagle. It 60 HIJDIBRAS. i Part j Whose primitive tradition reaches, As far as Adam’s first green breeches :* * Deep-sighted in intelligences, Ideas, atoms, influences ; And much of terra incognita, 535 Th’ intelligible world could say ;+ A deep occult philosopher, As learn’d as the wild Irish are,t was melted down when the Latins took that city. They were thought to have great efficacy as preservatives from disease and all kinds of evil. The image of any vermin cast in the precise moment, under a particular position of the stars, was supposed to destroy the vermin represented. Some make Apollonius Tyanaeus the inventor of talismans : but they were probably of still higher antiquity. Necepsus, a king of Egypt, wrote a treatise De ratione praesciendi futura, &c. Thus Ausonius, Epist. 19. Pontio Paulino — “ Quique magos docuit mysteria vana Necep- sus.” The Greeks called them rsAw/xara, but the name proba- bly is Arabic. Gregory’s account of them is learned and copious. Cabal, or cabbala, is a sort of divination by letters or numbers : it signifies likewise the secret or mysterious doctrines of any religion or sect. The Jews pretend to have received their cab- bala from Moses, or even from Adam. “Aiunt se conservasse a temporibus Mosis, vel etiam ipsius Adami, doctrinam quandam arcanam dictam cabalam.” Burnet’s Archeol. Philosoph. * The author of the Magia Adamica endeavors to prove, that the learning of the ancient Magi was derived from the know- ledge which God himself communicated to Adam in paradise. The second line was probably intended to burlesque the Gene- va translation of the Bible, published with notes, 1599, which in the third of Genesis, says of Adam and Eve, “ they sewed fig-leaves together, and made themselves breeches .” In Mr. Butler’s character of an hermetic philosopher, (Genuine Re mains, vol. ii. p. 227,) we read : “ he derives the pedigree of ma- “ gic from Adam’s first green breeches ; because fig-leaves being “ the first cloaths that mankind wore, were only used for cover- “ ing, and therefore are the most antient monuments of con- “ cealed mysteries.” t “Ideas, according to my philosophy, are not in the soul, “but in a superior intelligible nature, wherein the soul only “ beholds and contemplates them. And so they are only ob- jectively in the soul, or tanquam in cognoscente, but really “ elsewhere, even in the intelligible world, that Koenos votjrbi “ which Plato speaks of, to which the soul is united, and where “ she beholds them.” See Mr. Norris’s Letter to Mr. Dodwell, concerning the immortality of the soul of man, p. 114. t See the ancient and modern customs of the Irish, in Cam- den’s Britannia, and Speed’s Theatre. Here the poet may use his favorite figure, the anticlimax. Yet I am not certain whether Mr. Butler did not mean, in earnest, to call the Irish learned : for in the age of St. Patrick, the Saxons flocked to Ireland as to the great mart of learning. We find it often mentioned in our writers, that such an one was sent into Ireland to be educated Sulgenus, who flourished about six hundred years ago — Exemplo patrum commotus amore legendi Ivit ad Hibernos, sophia mirabile claros. Canto i.] HUDIBRAS. 61 Or Sir Agrippa, for profound And solid lying much renown’d :* * 540 He Anthroposophus, and Floud, And Jacob Behmen understood ;+ Knew many an amulet and charm, That would do neither good nor harm ; In Mr. Butler’s MS. Common-place book he says, “ When the Saxons invaded the Britons, it is very probable that many fled “ into foreign countries, to avoid the fury of their arms, (as the “ Veneti did into the islands of the Adriatic sea, when Atlila “ invaded Italy,) and some, if not most into Ireland, who car- “ ried with them that learning which the Romans had planted “ here, which, when the Saxons had nearly extinguished it in “ this island, flourished at so high a rate there, that most of “ those nations, among whom the northern people had intro- “ duced barbarism, beginning to recover a little civility, were “ glad to send their children to be instructed in religion and “ learning, into Ireland.” * Sir Agrippa was born at Cologn, ann. 1486, and knighted for his military services under the Emperor Maximilian. When very young, he published a book De Occulta Philosophia, which contains almost all the stories that ever roguery invented, or credulity swallowed concerning the operations of magic. But Agrippa was a man of great* worth and honor, as well as of great learning ; and in his riper years was thoroughly ashamed of this book ; nor is it to be found in the folio edition of his works. — In his preface he says, “ Si alicubi erratum sit, sive “ quid liberius dictum, ignoscite adolescentiae nostra, qui minor “ quam adolescens hoc opus composui : ut possim me excusare, “ ac dicere, dum eram parvulus, loquebar ut parvulus, factus “ autem vir, evacuavi quae erant parvuli ; ac in libro de vanitate “ scientiarum hunc librum magna ex parte retractavi.” — Paulus Jovius in his “ Elogia doctorum Virorum,” says of Sir Agrippa, “ a Csesare eruditionis ergo equestris ordinis dignitate honesta- n tus.” p. 237. Bayle, in his Dictionary v. Agrippa, note O, says that the fourth book was untruly ascribed to Agrippa. t Anthroposophus was a nickname given to one Thomas Vaugh- an, Rector of Saint Bridge’s, in Bedfordshire, and author of a discourse on the nature of man in the state after death, entitled, Anlhroposopliia Theomagica. — “ A treatise,” says Dean Swift, “ written about fifty years ago, by a Welch gentleman of Cam- “ bridge : his name, as I remember, was Vaughan, as appears “ by the answer to it written by the learned Dr. Henry Moor: “it is a piece of the most unintelligible fustian that perhaps “ was ever published in any language.” Robert Floud, a native of Kent, and son of Sir Thomas Floud, Treasurer of War to Queen Elizabeth, was Doctor of Physic of St. John’s College, Oxford, and much given to occult philosophy He wrote an apology for the Rosycrucians, also a system of physics, called the Mosaic Philosophy, and many other obscure and mystical tracts. Monsieur Rapin says, that Floud was th6 Paracelsus of philosophers, as Paracelsus was the Floud of phy- sicians. His opinions were thought worthy of a serious confu- tation by Gassendi. Jacob Behmen was an impostor and en- thusiast, of somewhat an earlier date, by trade, I believe, a cob- bler. Mr. Law, who revived some of his notions, calls him a Theosopher. He wrote uninteligibly in dark mystical terms. 62 HUBIBRAS. > [Part i In Rosycrucian lore as learned,* 545 As he that vere adeptus earned : He understood the speech of birds! * The Rosycrucians were a sect of hermetical philosophers The name appears to be derived from ros, dew, and crux, a cross Dew was supposed to be the most powerful solvent of gold ; and a cross + contains the letters which compose the word lux, light, called, in the jargon of the sect, the seed or menstruum of the red dragon ; or, in other words, that gross and corporeal light, which, properly modified, produces gold. They owed their origin to a German gentleman, called Christian Rosencruz ; and from him likewise, perhaps, their name of Rosycrucians, though they frequently went by other names, such as the Illuminati, the Immortales, the Invisible Brothers. This gentleman had travelled to the Holy Land in the fourteenth century, and formed an acquaintance with some eastern philosophers. They were noticed in England before the beginning of the last century. Their learning had a great mixture of enthusiasm; and as Lemery, the famous chymist, says, “ it was an art without an “ art, whose beginning was lying, whose middle was labor, and “ whose end was beggary.” Mr. Hales, of Eton, concerning the weapon salve, p. 282, says, “ a merry gullery put upon the “ world ; a guild of men, who style themselves the brethren of “ the Rosycross ; a fraternity, who, what, or where they are, no “ man yet, no not they who believe, admire, and devote them- « selves unto them, could ever discover.” — See ChaufepR’s Diet. v. Jungius, note D ; and Brucker. Hist. Critic. Phil. iv. i. p. 736. Naudeeus and Mosheim. Inst. Hist. Christ, recent, sec. 17. i. 4, 28.— Lore, i. e. science, knowledge, from Anglo-Saxon, learn, laeran, to teach. t The senate and people of Abdera, in their letter to Hippo- crates, give it as an instance of the madness of Democritus, that he pretended to understand the language of birds. Porphyry, de abstinentia, lib. iii. cap. 3, contends that animals have a lan- guage, and that men may understand it. He instances in Me- lampus and Tiresias of old, and Apollonius of Tyana, who heard one swallow proclaim to the rest, that by the fall of an ass a quantity of wheat lay scattered upon the road. I believe swal- lows do not eat wheat. [Certainly not.] Philostratus tells us the same tale, with more propriety, of a sparrow. Porphyry adds,— “ a friend assured me that a youth, who was his page, “ understood all the articulations of birds, and that they were “all prophetic. But the boy was unhappily deprived of the “ faculty ; for his mother, fearing he should be sent as a present “ to the emperor, took an opportunity, when he was asleep, to “ piss into his ear.” The author of the Targum on Esther says, that Solomon understood the speech of birds. The reader will be amused by comparing the above lines with Mr. Butler’s character of an Hermetic philosopher, in the second volume of his Genuine Remains, published by Mr. Thyer, p. 225, a character which contains much wit. Mr. Bruce in his Trav- els, vol. ii. p. 243, says, There was brought into Abyssinia a bird called Para, about the bigness of a hen, and spoke all languages, Indian, Portuguese, and Arabic. It named the king’s name; although its voice was that of a man, it could neigh like a horse, and mew like a cat, but did not sing like a bird— from an Histori- an of that country.— In the year 1655, a book was printed in London, by John Stafford, entitled, Ornithologie, or the Speech ' Birds, to which probably Mr. Butler might allude. 63 Canto i.] HUD1BRAS. • As well as they themselves do words ; Could tell what subtlest parrots mean, That speak and think contrary clean ; What member ’tis of whom they talk, When they cry Rope— and Walk, Knave, walk * * * § He’d extract numbers out of matter .+ And keep them in a glass, like water, Of sov’reign pow’r to make men wise : + For, dropt in blear, thick-sighted eyes, They’d make them see in darkest night , Like owls, tho’ purblind in the light. By help of these, as he protest, He had first matter seen undrest : He took her naked, all alone, Before one rag of form was on.§ The chaos too he had descry’d, And seen quite thro’, or else -he ly’d : Not that of pasteboard, which men shew For groats, at fair of Barthol’mew ;|| But its great grandsire, first o’ th’ name, Whence that and Reformation came, Both cousin-germans, and right able T’ inveigle and draw in the rabble : But Reformation was, some say, 550 555 560 565 570 * This probably alludes to some parrot, that was taught to cry rogue, knave, a rope, after persons as they went along the street. The same is often practised now, to the great oflence of many an honest countryman, who when he complains to the owner of the abuse, is told by him, Take care, sir, my parrot prophesies— this might allude to more members than one of the house ot + Every absurd notion, that could be picked up from the an- cients, was adopted by the wild enthusiasts of our authors days. Plato, as Aristotle informs us, Metaph. lib. i. c. 6, conceived numbers to exist by themselves, besides the sensibles, like acci- dents without a substance. Pythagoras maintained that sensi- ble things consisted of numbers. Ib. lib. xi. c. 6. And see Plato in his Cratylus. , , t The Pythagorean philosophy held that there were certain mystical charms in certain numbers. Plato held whatsoe’er encumbers, # Or strengthens empire, comes from numbers. Butler’s MS. § Thus Cleveland, page 110. “ The next ingredient of a dmr nal is plots, horrible plots, which with wonderful sagacity it hunts dry foot, while they are yet in their causes, before materia prima can put on her smock.” || The puppet-shews, sometimes called Moralities, exhibited the chaos, the creation, the flood, &c. 64 Hl'DlBRAS. [Part i O’ th’ younger house to puppet-play.* He could foretel whats’ever was, By consequence, to come to pass : As death of great men, alterations, 57,1 Diseases, battles, inundations : All this without th’ eclipse of th’ sun, Or dreadful comet, he hath done By inward light, a way as good, And easy to be understood : 580 But with more lucky hit than those That use to make the stars depose, Like knights o’ th’ post,t and falsely charge Upon themselves what others forge ; As if they were consenting to 585 All mischief in the world men do : Or, like the devil, did tempt and sway ’em To rogueries, and then betray ’em. They’ll search a planet’s house, to know Who broke and robb’d a house below ; 590 Examine Venus and the Moon, Who stole a thimble and a spoon ; And tho’ they nothing will confess, Yet by their very looks can guess, And tell what guilty aspect bodes, t 595 * It has not been usual to compare hypocrites to puppets, as not being what they seemed and pretended, nor having any true meaning or real consciousness in what they said or did. I re- member two passages, written about our author’s time, from one of which he might possibly take the hint. “ Even as statues “ and puppets do move their eyes, their hands, their feet, like “ unto living men ; and yet are not living actors, because their “ actions come not from an inward soul, the fountain of life, but “ from the artificial poise of weights when set by the workmen ; “ even so hypocrites.” Mr. Mede. Bishop Laud said, “ that some hypocrites, and seeming morti- “ fied men that hold down their heads, were like little images “ that they place in the bowing of the vaults of churches, that “ look as if they held up the church, and yet are but puppets.” The first plays acted in England were called Mysteries ; their subjects were generally scripture stories, such as the Creation, the Deluge, the Birth of Christ, the Resurrection, &c. &c. ; this sort of puppet-shew induced many to read the Old and New Testament; and is therefore called the Elder Brother of the Reformation. t Knights of the post were infamous persons, who attended the courts of justice, to swear for hire to things which they knew nothing about. In the 14th and 15th centuries the common people were so profligate, that not a few of them lived by swear- ing for hire in courts of justice. See Henry’s History of Eng land, and Wilkin. Concil. p. 534. t This, and the following lines, are a very ingenious bur- esque upon astrology to which many in those days gave credit Canto i.] HUDIBRAS. 65 Who stole, and who receiv’d the goods : They’ll question 'Mars, and, by his look, Detect who ’twas that nimm’d a cloke ; Make Mercury confess, and ’peach Those thieves which he himself did teach :* * * § 600 They’ll find i’ th’ physiognomies O’ th* planets, all men’s destinies ; Like him that took the doctor’s bill, And swallow’d it instead o’ th’ pill,+ Cast the nativity o’ th’ question , t 605 And from positions to be guest on, As sure as if they knew the moment Of Native’s birth, tell what will come on t They’ll feel the pulses of the stars, To find out agues, coughs, catarrhs ; 610 And tell what crisis does divine The rot in sheep, or mange in swine : In men, what gives or cures the itch, What made them cuckolds, poor, or rich ; What gains, or loses, hangs, or saves,* 615 What makes men great, what fools, or knaves ; But not what wise, for only of those The stars, they say, cannot dispose, § No more than can the astrologians : There they say right, and like true Trojans. 620 * Mercury was supposed by the poets to be the patron, or god of thieves. t This alludes to a well-known story told in Henry Stephen’s apology for Herodotus. A physican having prescribed for a countryman, gave him the paper on which he had written, and told him, he must be sure to take that, meaning the potion he had therein ordered. The countryman, misunderstanding the doctor, wrapt up the paper like a bolus, swallowed it, and was cured. X When any one came to an astrologer to have his child s nativity cast, and had forgotten the precise time of its birth, the figure-caster took the position of the heavens at the minute the question was asked. Mr. Butler, in his character of an hermetic philosopher, (see Genuine Remains, vol. ii. p. 241,) says, “ learned astrologers ob- “ serving the impossibility of knowing the exact moment of any “ man’s birth, do use very prudently to cast the nativity of tha “ question, (like him that swallowed the doctor’s bill instead of “ the medicine,) and find the answer as certain and infallible, as “ if they had known the very instant in which the native, as “ they call him, crept into the world.” § Sapiens dominabitur astris, was an old proverb among the astrologers. Bishop Warburton observes, that the obscurity in these lines arises from the double sense of the word dispose ; when it relates to the stars, it signifies influence ; when it relates to astrologers it signifies deceive. 66 HUBIBRAS. [Fart i This Ralpho knew, and therefore took The other course of which we spoke.* * * § Thus was th’ accomplish’d squire endu’d With gifts and knowledge per’lous shrewd. Never did trusty squire with knight, 625 Or knight with squire, e’er jump more right. Their arms and equipage did fit, As well as virtues, parts, and wit : Their valors, too, were of a rate, And out they sally’d at the gate. 630 Few miles on horseback had they jogged, But fortune unto them turn’d dogged ; For they a sad adventure met, Of which we now prepare to treat : But ere we venture to unfold 635 Achievements so resolv’d, and bold, We should, as learned poets use, Invoke th’ assistance of some muse ;t However critics count it sillier, Than jugglers talking t’ a familiar : 640 We think ’tis no great matter which ,1 They’re all alike, yet we shall pitch On one that fits our purpose most, Whom therefore thus we do accost Thou that with ale or viler liquors, 645 Didst inspire Withers, Pryn, and Vickars,§ * Ralpho did not take to astrological, but to religious impos- ture ; the author intimating that wise men were sometimes de- ceived by this. f Butler could not omit burlesquing the solemn invocations with which poets address their Muses. In like manner Juvenal, going to describe Domitian’s great turbot, ludicrously invokes the assistance of the Muses in his fourth satire. t Bishop Warburton thinks it should be read, They think , tha k is the critics. § The Rev. Mr. Charles Dunster, the learned and ingenious translator of the Frogs of Aristophanes, and the Editor of Philips’s Cider, has taken some pains to vindicate the character of Withers as a poet. Party might induce Butler to speak slight- ingly of him ; but he seems to wonder why Swift, and Granger in his Biographical History, should hold him up as an object of contempt. His works are very numerous, and Mr. Granger says, his Eclogues are esteemed the best ; but Mr. Dunster gives a few lines from his Britain’s Remembrancer, a poem in eight Cantos, written upon occasion of the plague, which raged in London in the year 1625, which bear some resemblance to east- ern poetry : two pieces of his, by no means contemptible, are published among the old English ballads, and extracts chiefly lyrical, from his Juvenilia, were printed in 1785, for J. Sewell Cornhill. George Withers died 1667, aged 79.— For a further account ot Canto i.J UUD1BRAS. And force them, though it were in spite Of Nature, and their stars, to write ; Who, as we find in sullen writs,* And cross-grain’d works of modern wits, With vanity, opinion, want, The wonder of the ignorant, The praises of the author, penn’d By himself, or wit-insuring friend ;t The itch of picture in the front, t With bays, and wicked rhyme upon’t, 67 650 655 him, see Rennet’s Register and Chronicle, page 648 : He is men- tioned in Hudibras, Part ii. Canto iii. 1. 169. The extract from his Britain’s Remembrancer here follows, which, Mr. Dunster says, may perhaps challenge “ comparison “ with any instance of the Oeos aito iirjxav^S * n ancient or mod- u ern poetry.” it prov’d A crying sin, and so extremely mov’d God’s gentleness, that angry he became : His brows were bended, and his eyes did flame, Methought I saw it so ; and though I were Afraid within his presence to appear, My soul was rais’d above her common station, Where, what ensues, I view’d by contemplation. There is a spacious round, which bravely rears Her arch above the top of all the spheres, Until her bright circumference doth rise, Above the reach of man’s, or angels’ eyes, Conveying, through the bodies chrystalline, Those rays which on our lower globes do shine ; And all the great and lesser orbs do lie Within the compass of their canopy. In this large room of state is fix’d a throne, From whence the wise Creator looks upon His workmanship, and thence doth hear and see All sounds, all places, and all things that be : Here sat the king of gods, and from about His eye-lids so much terror sparkled out, That every circle of the heavens it shook, And all the world did tremble at his look The prospect of the sky, that erst was clear, Did with a low’ring countenance appear; The troubled air before his presence fled, The earth into her bosom shrunk her head ; The deeps did roar, the heights did stand amaz’d The moon and stars upon each other gaz’d ; The sun did stand unmoved in his path, The host of heaven was frighted at his wrath ; And with a voice, which made all nature quake, To this effect the great Eternal spake. Canto i. p. li * That is, ill-natured satirical writings. t He very ingeniously ridicules the vanity of authors who prefix commendatory verses to their works. + Milton, who had a high opinion of his own person, is said f o have been angry with the painter or engraver for want of 68 HUDIBRAS. [Part i All that is left o’ th’ forked hill* * To make men scribble without skill ; Canst make a poet, spite of fate, And teach all people to translate ; 660 Though out of languages, in which They understand no part of speech ; Assist me but this once, I ’mplore, And I shall trouble thee no more. In western clime there is a town,t 663 To those that dwell therein well known, Therefore there needs no more be said here, We unto them refer our reader ; For brevity is very good, When w’ are, or are not understood.f 670 To this town people did repair On days of market, or of fair, And to crack’d fiddle, aud hoarse tabor, In merriment did drudge and labor ; But now a sport more formidable 675 Had rak’d together village rabble : ’Twas an old way of recreating, Which learned butchers call bear-baiting ; A bold advent’rous exercise, With ancient heroes in high prize ; 680 For authors do affirm it came From Isthmian or Nemean game ; Others derive it from the bear That’s fix’d in northern hemisphere, likeness, or perhaps for want of grace, in a print of himself pre- fixed to his juvenile poems. He expressed his displeasure in four iambics, which have, indeed, no great merit, and lie open to severe criticism, particularly on the word dvo/il/ityia. ’Aj uaOu ysypacpOai %apt rrjvSe fxiv ehova $aijis ra •)£ uv , npog elSos avrotyves PX etmov. Tov S’ Iktwkutov ovk iniyvovreSi cpiXoi , TeXars 0auAou 71. | Imitating Virgil’s Quos ego — sed motes, & c. Canto ii.] HUDIBllAS. 119 And set him on his bum upright : To rouze him from lethargic dump,* He tweak’d his nose, with gentle thump Knock’d on his breast, as if’t had been 075 To raise the spirits lodg’d within. They waken’d with the noise, did fly From inward room, to window eye, And gently op’ning lid, the casement, Look’d out, but yet with some amazement. 980 This gladded Ralpho much to see, Who thus bespoke the Knight : quoth he, Tweaking his nose, you are, great Sir, A self-denying conqueror ;t As high, victorious, and great, 985 As e’er fought for the Churches yet, If you will give yourself but leave To .make out what y’ already have ; That’s victory. The foe, for dread Of your nine-worthiness, t is fled, 990 All, save Crowdero, for whose sake You did th’ espous’d cause undertake ; And he lies pris’ner at your feet, To be dispos’d as you think meet, Either for 'life, or death, or sale, 995 The gallows, or perpetual jail ; For one wink of your pow’rful eye Must sentence him to live or die. His fiddle is your proper purchase, Won in the service of the Churches , 1000 And by your doom must be allow’d To be, or be no more, a Crowd : For tho’ success did not confer Just title on the conqueror ;§ Tho’ dispensations were not strong iqq5 Conclusions, whether right or wrong ; * Compare this with the situation of Hector, who was stunned by a severe blow received from Ajax, and comforted by Apollo — Iliad, xv. v. 240. ? Ridiculing the self-denying ordinance, by which the mem bers of both houses were obliged to quit their employments, both civil and military ; notwithstanding which Sir Samuel Luke was continued governor of Newport Pagnel for some time. t Thrice worthy is a common appellation in romances ; but, in the opinion of the squire, would have been a title not equiva- lent to the knight’s desert. See the History of the Nine Worthies of the World ; and Fresnoy on Romances. $ Success was pleaded by the Presbyterians as an evident proof of the justice of their cause. HUDIBRAS. [Part i 120 Altho’ out-goings did confirm * And owning were but a mere term Yet as the wicked have no right To th’ creature, t tho’ usurp’d by might, The property is in the saint, From whom th’ injuriously detain’t ; Of him they hold their luxuries, Their dogs, their horses, whores, and dice, Their riots, revels, masks, delights, Pimps, buffoons, fiddlers, parasites ; All which the saints have title to, And ought t’ enjoy, if th’ had their due. What we take from them is no more Than what was ours by right before ; For we are their true landlords still, And they our tenants but at will. At this the Knight began to rouse, And by degrees grow valorous : He star’d about, and seeing none Of all his foes remain but one, He snatch’d his weapon that lay near him, And from the ground began to rear him, Vowing to make Crowdero pay For all the rest that ran away. But Ralpho now in colder blood, His fury mildly thus withstood : Great Sir, quoth he, your mighty spirit Is rais’d too high ; this slave does merit To be the hangman’s bus’ness, sooner Than from your hand to have the honour Of his destruction ; I that am So much below in deed and name, Did scorn to hurt his forfeit carcase, Or ill entreat his fiddle or case : Will you, great Sir, that glory blot In cold blood, which you gain’d in hot ? Will you employ your conquering sword To break a fiddle, and your word? For tho’ I fought and overcame, And quarter gave, ’twas in your name : For great commanders always own What’s prosp’rous by the soldier done. 101 0 1015 1020 1025 1030 1035 1040 1045 * In some editions we read, — did not confirm, t It was a principle maintained by the Independents of those days, that dominion was founded in grace ; and, therefore, it a man were not a saint, or a godly man, he could have no right to any lands or chattels. Canto ii.] HUDIBRAS. 121 To save, where you have pow’r to kill, Argues your pow’r above your will ; 1050 And that your will and pow’r have less Than both might have of selfishness, This pow’r which now alive, with dread He trembles at, if he were dead, Would no more keep the slave in awe, 1055 Than if you were a knight of straw ; For death would then be his conqueror, Not you, and free him from that terror. If danger from his life accrue, Or honour from his death to you, 1060 ’Twere policy, and honour too, To do as you resolv’d to do: But, Sir, ’twou’d wrong your valour much, To say it needs, or fears a crutch. Great conqu’rors greater glory gain 1065 By foes in triumph led, than slain : The laurels that adorn their brows Are pull’d from living, not dead boughs, And living foes ; the greatest fame Of cripple slain can be but lame : 1070 One half of him’s already slain,* The other is not worth your pain ; Th’ honour can but on one side light, As worship did, when y’were dubb’d Knight.t Wherefore I think it better far 1075 To keep him prisoner of war ; And let him fast in bonds abide, At court of justice to be try’d : Where, if h’ appear so bold or crafty, There may be danger in his safety ;t 1080 * This reminds me of the supplication of a lame musician in tine Anthology, p. 5, ed. H. Steph. Hrjiffv ixh riOvrjKe, to b'Viiuav Xifxbg Z(oo6v //« (3affi\tv , ixuaiKbv f/ixirovov. t The honor of knighthood is conferred by the king’s laying his sword upon the person’s shoulder, and saying, “Arise, Sir .” t Cromwell’s speech in the case of Lord Capel may serve to explain this line : he began with high encomiums of his merit, capacity, and honor; but when every one expected that he would have voted to save his life, he told them that the question oefore them was, whether they would preserve the greatest and most dangerous enemy that the cause had 1 that he knew my Lord Capel well, and knew him. so firmly attached to the royal interest, that he would never desert it, or acquiesce under any establishment contrary to it. — Clarendon. HUDIBRAS. TPart i 122 If any member there dislike His face, or to his beard have pike ;* Or if his death will save, or yield Revenge or fright, it is reveal’d : Tho’ he has quarter, ne’ertheless Y* have pow’r to hang him when you please ; This has been often done by some Of our great conqu’rors, you know whom ; And has by most of us been held Wise justice, and to some reveal’d : For words and promises, that yoke The conqueror, are quickly broke ; Like Sampson’s cuffs, tho’ by his own Direction and advice put on. For if we should fight for the cause By rules of military laws, And only do what they call just, The cause would quickly fall to dust. This we among ourselves may speak ; But to the wicked or the weak We must be cautious to declare Perfection-truths, such as these are.t 1085 1090 1095 1100 * Doubtless, particular instances are here alluded to. It is notorious that the lords and others were condemned or pardoned, as their personal interests prevailed more or less in the house. A whimsical instance of mercy was the pardon indulged to Sir John Owen, a Welsh gentleman, who being tried, together with the lords Capel, Holland, Loughborough, and others; Ireton, rather to insult the nobility than from any principle of compas- sion, observed that much endeavor had been used to preserve each of the lords, but here was a poor commoner, whom no one had spoke for ; he therefore moved that he might be pardoned by the mere grace of the house. Sir John was a man of humor- ous intrepidity ; when he, with the lords, was condemned to be beheaded, he made his judges a low bow, and gave his humble thanks ; at which a by-stander, surprised, asked him what he meant 7 To which the knight, with a broad oath, replied, that, “ it was a great honor to a poor gentleman of Wales to lose “ his head with such noble lords, for, in truth, he was afraid they “ would have hanged him.” See Clarendon, Rushworth, White- locke, and Pennant’s Tour to Wales, in 1773, page 284. The parliament was charged with setting aside the articles of capitu- lation agreed to by its generals, and killing prisoners after quarter had been granted them, on pretence of a revelation that such a one ought to die. See also the case of the surrender of Pen- dennis castle. . . , . ^ . f Truths revealed only to the perfect, or the initiated into the higher mysteries. $0eyt;o/xai, oig 7crct£V, # v Ej/ y’ alrocatiin' noci ovnujs icrrlv ipi^eiv. 1 ‘ Il.xiii.324. [I Hercules, when he bewails the loss of Hylas : Volat ordine nullo Cuhcta petens ; nunc ad ripas, dejectaque saxis 134 HUDIBRAS [Part i Ho beat his breast, and tore his hair, For loss of his dear crony bear ; Flumina ; nunc notas nemorum procurrit ad umbras : Rursus Hylan, et rursus Hylan per longa reclamat Avia : responsant silvee, et vaga certat imago. Val. F lac. Argon, iii. 593. T pig p tv Wav avmv barov 6advg ijpvye \aipbg, Tpts 6' dp ’ b ica'is vpaicovosv' apaia car’ nryfov, evOa re pspog ’Icyta svrped)t:nai' * Iliad, v. 302. And Juvenal : nec hunc lapidem, quali se Tumus, et Ajax ; Yel quo Tydides percussit pondere coxam jEneae ; sed quem valeant emittere dextrse Illis dissimiles, et nostro tempore natse. Sat. xv. 65. |) The anabaptists thought they obtained a higher degree of saintship by being rebaptized. Oanto hi.] HUDIBRAS. The danger startled the bold Squire, And made him some few steps retire ; But Hudibras advanc’d to’s aid, And rous’d his spirits half dismay’d ; He wisely doubting lest the shot O’ th’ enemy, now growing hot, Might at a distanoe gall, press’d close, To come, pell-mell, to handy blows, And that he might their aim decline, Advanc’d still in an oblique line ; But prudently forbore to fire, Till breast to breast he had got nigher ;* As expert warriors use to do, When hand to hand they charge their foe. This order the advent’rous Knight, Most soldier-like, observ’d in fight, When Fortune, as she’s wont, turn’d fickle, And for the foe began to stickle. The more shame for her Goodyship To give so near a friend the slip. For Colon, choosing out a stone, Levell’d so right, it thump’d upon 520 His manly paunch, with such a force, As almost beat him off his horse, He loos’d his whinyard, and the rein, But laying fast hold on the mane, Preserved his seat : and, as a goose 525 In death contracts his talons close, So did the knight, and with one claw The trigger of his pistol draw. The gun went off ; and as it was Still fatal to stout Hudibras, 530 In all his feats of arms, when least He dreamt of it, to prosper best, So now he far’d : the shot let fly, At random, ’mong the enemy, Pierc’d Talgol’s gaberdine, t and grazing 535 Upon his shoulder, in the passing Lodg’d in Magnano’s brass habergeon , X 145 500 505 * Oliver Cromwell ordered his soldiers to reserve their fire till they were near enough the enemy to be sure of doing exe- cution. t An old French word for a smock frock, or coarse coat, t Habergeon, a diminutive of the French word hauberg, a breastplate ; and derived from [the German] hals, collum, and bergen seu pergen, tegere. See Chaucer. Here it signifies tha tinker’s budget. HUDIBRAS. [Part 146 Who straight, A surgeon cry’d — a surgeon ! He tumbled down, and, as he fell, Did murder ! murder ! murder ! yell.* 54C This startled their whole body so, That if the Knight had not let go His arms, but been in warlike plight, H’ had won, the second time, the fight ; As, if the Squire had but fall’ll on, 545 He had inevitably done : But he, diverted with the care Of Hudibras his wound, forbare To press th’ advantage of his fortune, While danger did the rest dishearten. 550 For he with Cerdon b’ing engag’d In close encounter, they both wag’d The fight so well, ’twas hard to say Which side was like to get the day. And now the busy w©rk of death 555 Had tir’d them so they ’greed to breathe, Preparing to renew the fight, When th’ hard disaster of the knight, And th’ other party, did divert And force their sullen rage to part. 560 Ralpho press’d up to Hudibras, And Cerdon where Magnano was, Each striving to confirm his party With stout encouragements and hearty. Quoth Ralpho, Courage, valiant Sir, 565 And let revenge and honour stir Your spirits up ; once more fall on, The shatter’d foe begins to run : For if but half so well you knew To use your vict’ry as subdue, t 570 They durst not, after such a blow As you have giv’n them, face us now ; * To howl or use a lamentable cry, from the Greek, or <5AoXu£a>. ejulo, a mournful song: used at funerals, and prac tised to this day in some parts of Ireland, and the highlands of Scotland. t This perhaps has some reference to Prince Rupert, who wag generally successful at his first onset, but lost his advantage by too long a pursuit. Echard, vol. ii. p. 480. The same is said of Hannibal, Florus, lib. ii. cap. 6. Dubium deinde non erat, quin ultimmn ilium diem habitura fuerit Roma quintumque intra diem epulari Annibal in capitolio potuerit, si (quodPcenum ilium dixisse Adherbalem Bomilcaris ferunt) Annibal guemadmodum sciret vincere , sic uti victoria scisset. Csesar said the same of Pompey. Sueton. in Vita. Canto in.] HUDIBRAS. 147 But from so formidable a soldier, Had fled like crows when they smell powder. Thrice have they seen your sword aloft 575 Wav’d o’er their heads, and fled as oft: But if you let them recollect Their spirits, now dismay’d and check’d, You’ll have a harder game to play Than yet y’ have had, to get the day. 580 Thus spoke the stout Squire ; but was heard By Hudibras with small regard. His thoughts were fuller of the bang He lately took, than Ralph’s harangue ; To which he answer’d, Cruel fate 585 Tells me thy counsel comes too late, The clotted blood within my hose,* That from my wounded body flows, With mortal crisis doth portend My days to appropinquet an end. 590 I am for action now unfit, Either of fortitude or wit ; Fortune, my foe, begins to frown, Resolv’d to pull my stomach down. I am not apt, upon a wound, 595 Or trivial basting, to dispond ; Yet I’d be loath my days to curtail ; For if I thought my wounds not mortal, Or that w’ had time enough as yet To make an honourable retreat, 600 ’Twere the best course ; but if they find We fly, and leave our arms behind For them to seize on, the dishonour, And danger too, is such, I’ll sooner Stand to it boldly, and take quarter, 605 To let them see I am no starter. In all the trade of war no feat Is nobler than a brave retreat : For those that run away, and fly, Take place at least o’ th’ enemy. 610 This said, the Squire, with active speed, Dismounted from his bonyi steed To seize the arms, which by mischance Fell from the bold Knight in a trance. * In some editions — the knotted blood. t One of the knight’s hard words, signifying to approach, or draw near to. % In some editions it is bonny , but I prefer the reading of 1678. 148 HUDIBRAS. [Part i. 015 These being found out, and restor’d To Hudibras, their natural lord, The active Squire, with might and main, Prepar’d in haste to mount again. Thrice he assay’d to mount aloft ; But by his weighty bum, as oft 62C He was pull’d back ; ’till having found Th’ advantage of the rising ground. Thither he led his warlike steed, And having plac’d him right, with speed Prepar’d again to scale the beast, 625 When Orsin, who had newly drest The bloody scar upon the shoulder Of Talgol, with Promethean powder,* And now was searching for the shot That laid Magnano on the spot, 630 Behind the sturdy Squire aforesaid Preparing to climb up his horse -side ; He left his cure, and laying hold Upon his arms, with courage bold Cry’d out, ’Tis now no time to dally, 635 The enemy begin to rally : Let us that are unhurt and whole Fall on, and happy man be’s dole.t This said, like to a thunderbolt, He flew with fury to th’ assault, 640 Striving the enemy to attack Before he reach’d his horse’s back. Ralpho was mounted now, and gotten O’erthwart his beast with active vaulting, Wriggling his body to recover 645 His seat, and cast his right leg over ; # When Orsin, rushing in, bestow’d On horse and man so heavy a load, The beast was startled, and begun * See canto ii. v. 225. — In a long enumeration of his several beneficent inventions, Prometheus, in ^Eschylus, boasts espe- cially of his communicating to mankind the knowledge of medi- cines. eSsifa Kpdaeig fnr'uov aKZGndTtov aJg ras cnrdaas l^anvvwvrai vdcxyg. iEsch. Prometh. vinct. v. 491, ed. Blomf. t See Shakspeare, Taming the Shrew, Act i. sc. 1, and Win ter’s Tale, Act i. sc. 2. Dole, from daelan, to distribute, signifies the shares formerly given at funerals and other occasions, May happiness be his share or lot, May the lot of the happy man be his. As we say of a person at the point of death, God rest his soul. Canto iii.] HUDIBRAS. To kick and fling like mad, and run, Bearing the tough Squire, like a sack, Or stout king Richard, on his back ;* ’Till stumbling, he threw him down,+ Sore bruis’d, and cast into a swoon. Meanwhile the Knight began to rouse The sparkles of his wonted prowess ; He thrust his hand into his hose, And found, both by his eyes and nose, ’Twas only choler, and not blood, That from his wounded body flow’d.t This, with the hazard of the Squire, Enflam’d him with despightful ire ; Courageously he fac’d about, And drew his other pistol out, And now had half-way bent the cock, When Cerdon gave so fierce a shock, With sturdy truncheon, ’thwart his arm, That down it fell, and did no harm : Then stoutly pressing on with speed, Assay’d to pull him off his steed, 670 The knight his sword had only left, With which he Cerdon’s head had cleft, Or at the least cropt off a limb, But Orsin came and rescu’d him. He with his lance attack’d the Knight 675 Upon his quarters opposite. But as a bark, that in foul weather, Toss’d by two adverse winds together, Is bruis’d and beaten to and fro, And knows not which to turn him to : 680 So far’d the Knight between two foes, And knew not which of them t’ oppose ; ’Till Orsin charging with his lance At Hudibras, by spightful chance Hit Cerdon such a bang, as stunn’d 685 And laid him flat upon the ground. At this the Knight began to cheer up, * After the battle of Bosworth-field, the body of Richard III was stripped, and in an ignominious manner laid across a horse’s back like a slaughtered deer ; his head and arms hang- ing on one side, and his legs on the other, besmeared with blood and dirt. t We must here read stumbleing, to make three syllables, as in verse 770 lightening, so in 875 read sarcasmes ; or, perhaps, we may read stumbeling, sarcasems, &c. % The delicate reader Will easily guess what is here intended by the word choler. 149 650 655 660 665 150 HUDIBRAS. [Parti And raising up himself on stirrup, Cry’d out, Victoria ! lie thou there,* And I shall straight dispatch another, 69C To bear thee company in death :+ But first I’ll halt awhile, and breathe. As well he might : for Orsin griev’d At th’ wound that Cerdon had receiv’d, Ran to relieve him with his lore, 695 And cure the hurt he made before. Meanwhile the Knight had wheel’d about, To breathe himself, and next find out Th’ advantage of the ground, where best He might the ruffied foe infest. 700 This being resolv’d, he spurr’d his steed, To run at Orsin with full speed, While he was busy in the care Of Cerdon’s wound, and unaware : But he was quick, and had already 705 Unto the part apply’d remedy ; And seeing th’ enemy prepar’d, Drew up, and stood upon his guard : • Then, like a warrior, right expert And skilful in the martial art, 710 The subtle Knight straight made a halt, And judg’d it best to stay th’ assault, Until he had reliev’d the Squire, And then, in order, to retire ; Or, as occasion should invite, 715 With forces join’d renew the fight. Ralpho, by this time disentranc’d, Upon his bum himself advanc’d. Though sorely bruis’d ; his limbs all o’er, With ruthless bangs were stiff and sore ; 720 Right fain he -would have got upon His feet again, to get him gone ; When Hudibras to aid him came. Quoth he, and call’d him by his name, Courage, the day at length is ours, 725 And we once more as conquerors, Have both the field and honour won, The foe is profligate, and run ; * Thus Virgil and Homer : Hesperiam metire jacens. 2En. xii. 360. Istic nunc, metuende, jace. .En. x. 557. ’E vravdoi vvv Ktico. II. <£. 122. t This is a banter upon some of the speeches in Homer. Canto hi.] HUD1BRAS. 151 I mear all such as can, for some This hand hath sent to their long home ; 730 And some lie sprawling on the ground, With many a gash and bloody wound. Caesar himself could never say, He got two victories in a day, As I have done, that can say, twice I, 735 In one day, veni, vidi, vici.* The foe’s so numerous, that we Cannot so often vincere,+ And they perire, and yet enow Be left to strike an after-blow. 740 Then, lest they rally, and once more Put us to fight the bus’ness o’er, Get up and mount thy steed ; dispatch, And let us both their motions watch. Quoth Ralph, I should not, if I were 745 In case for action, now be here ; Nor have I turn’d my back, or hang’d An arse, for fear of being bang’d. It was for you I got these harms, Advent’ring to fetch off your arms. 750 The blows and drubs I have receiv’d Have bruised my body, and bereav’d My limbs of strength : unless you stoop, And reach your hand to puli me up, I shall lie here, and be a prey 755 To those who now are run away. That thou shalt not, quoth Hudibras : We read, the ancients held it was More honourable far servare Civem, than slay an adversary ; 760 The one we oft’ to-day have done, The other shall dispatch anon : And tho’ th’art of a different church, I will not leave thee in the lurch.t This said, he jogg’d his good steed nigher, 765 * The favorite terms by which Caesar described his victory over Pharnaces. In his consequent triumph at Rome, these words, (translated thus into English, I came, I saw, I overcame,) were painted on a tablet and carried before him. See Plutarch’s Life of Julius Caesar. t A great general, being informed that his enemies were very numerous, replied, then there are enough to be killed, enough to be taken prisoners, and enough to run away. $ This is a sneer at the Independents, who, when they had gotten possession of the government, deserted their old allies, the Presbyterians, and treated them with great hauteur 152 HUDIBRA^. [Part i And steer’d him gently toward the Squire ; Then bowing down his body, stretch’d His hand out, and at a Ralpho reach’d ; When Trulla, whom he did not mind, Charg’d him like lightning behind. She had been long in search about Magnano’s wound, to find it out ; But could find none, nor where the shot That had so startled him Was got • But having found the worst was past, She fell to her own work at last/ The pillage of the prisoners. Which in all feats of arms was hers : And now to plunder Ralph she flew, When Hudibras his hard fate drew To succour him ; for, as he bow’d To help him up, she laid a load Of blows so heavy, and plac’d so well, On th’ other side, that down he fell. Yield, scoundrel base, quoth she, or die, Thy life is mine, and liberty : But if thou think’st I took thee tardy, And dar’st presume to be so hardy, To try thy fortune o’er afresh, I’ll wave my title to thy flesh, Thy arms and baggage, now my right : And if thou hast the heart to try’t, I’ll lend thee back thyself awhile,* And once more, for that carcase vile, Fight upon tick— Quoth Hudibras, Thou offer’st nobly, valiant lass, And I shall take thee at thy word. First let me rise, and take my sword ; That sword, which has so oft this day Through squadrons of my foes made way, And some to other worlds dispatch’d, Now with a feeble spinster match’d, Will blush with blood ignoble stain’d, By which no honour’s to be gain’d.+ * 770 775 780 785 795 800 9 h , arle t kin S of Sweden, having taken a town from the auke of Saxony, then king of Poland, the duke intimated that there must have been treachery in the case. On which Charles offered to restore the town, replace the garrison, and then take it by storm. T Nullum memorabile nomen Fceminea in poena est, nec habet victoria laudem. Virg. ^Eneid. ii. 584. HUDIBRAS. 153 805 Canto hi.] But if thou’lt take m’ advice in this, Consider, while thou may’st, what ’tis To interrupt a victor’s course, B’ opposing such a trivial force. For if with conquest I come off, And that I shall do sure enough, 810 Quarter thou canst not have, nor grace. By law of arms, in such a case ; Both which I now do offer freely. I scorn, quoth she, thou coxcomb silly, Clapping her hand upon her breech, 815 To shew how much she priz’d his speech, Quarter or counsel from a foe : If thou canst force me to it, do. But lest it should again be said, When I have once more won thy head, 820 I took thee napping, unprepar’d, Arm, and betake thee to thy guard. This said, she to her tackle fell, And on the Knight let fall a peal Of blows so fierce, and prest so home, 825 That he retir’d, and follow’d’s bum. Stand to’t, quoth she, or yield to mercy, It is not fighting arsie-versie* Shall serve thy turn. — This stirr’d his spleen More than the danger he was in, 830 The blows he felt, or was to feel, Although th’ already made him reel, Honour, despight, revenge, and shame, ^ At once into his stomach came ; Which fir’d it so, he rais’d his arm 835 Above his head, and rain’d a storm Of blows so terrible and thick, As if he meant to hash her quick. But she upon her truncheon took them, And by oblique diversion broke them ; 840 Waiting an opportunity To pay all back with usury, Which long phe fail’d not of ; for now The Knight, with one dead-doing blow, Resolving to decide the fight, 845 And she with quick and cunning slight * That is, tiaTspov Trpdrspovj wrong end foremost, bottom up- ward : but it originally signified averte ignem, Tuscorum lingua, Arse averte, verse ignem constat appellari : unde, Afranius ait, inscribat aliquis in ostio arse verse. S. Pompeius Festus de verborum significatione, p. 18. 154 HUDIBRAS. [Part i Avoiding it, the force and weight He charg’d upon it was so great, As almost sway’d him to the ground : No sooner she th’ advantage found, 850 But in she flew ; and seconding, With home-made thrust, the heavy swing, She laid him flat upon his side, And mounting on his trunk astride, Quoth she, I told thee what would come 855 Of all thy vapouring, base scum. Say, will the law of arms allow I may have grace, and quarter now ? Or wilt thou rather break thy word, And stain thine honour, than thy sword ? 860 A man of war to damn his soul, In basely breaking his parole. And when before the fight, th’liadst vowed To give no quarter in cold blood ; Now thou hast got me for a Tartar,* 865 To make m’ against my will take quarter ; * The Tartars had ranch rather die in battle than take quarter. Hence the proverb, Thou hast caught a Tartar —A man catches a Tartar when he falls into his own trap, or having a design upon another, is caught himself. Help, help, cries one, I have caught a Tartar. Bring him along, answers his comrade. He will not come, says he. Then come without him, quoth the other. But he will not let me, says the Tartar-catcher. I have somewhere read the following lines : •"Seres inter nation emque Tartaram Flagrabat bellum, fortiler vero prselians Ter ipse manu propria Tartarum occupans. Extemplo exclamat — Tartarum prehendi manu ; Veniat ad me, Dux inquit exercitus, At se venire velle Tartarus negat : At tecum ducas illico — sed non vult sequi, Tu solus venias — Vellem, sed non me sinit. Plautus has an expression not much unlike this, — potitus est hostium, to signify he was taken prisoner. — Mr. Peck, see New Memoirs of Milton’s Life, p. 237, explains it in a different man- ner. “Bajazet,” says he, “was taken prisoner by Tamerlane, “ who, when he first saw him, generously asked, ‘ Now, sir, if “ ‘ you had taken me prisoner, as I have you, tell me, I pray, “ ‘ what you would have done with me V ‘ If I had taken you “ ‘ prisoner,’ said the foolish Turk, ‘ I would have thrust you “ ‘ under the table when I did eat, to gather up the crumbs with “ ‘ the dogs ; when I rode out, I would have made your neck a “‘horsing-block; and when I travelled, you also should have “ ‘ been carried along with me in an iron cage, for every fool to ‘ hoot and shout at.* ‘ I thought to have used you better,’ said the gallant Tamerlane ; ‘ but since you intended to have served 4 me thus, you have’ ( caught a Tartar , for hence I reckon came * that proverb) ‘justly pronounced your doom.’ ” HUDIBRAS. 155 Canto in.] Why dost not put me to the sword, But cowardly fly from thy word? Quoth Hudibras, The day’s thine own ; Thou and thy stars have cast me down : My laurels are transplanted now, And flourish on thy conqu’ring brow : My loss of honour’s great enough, Thou needst not brand it with a scoff: Sarcasms may eclipse thine own, But cannot blur my lost renown: I am not now in fortune’s power, He that is down can fall no lower.* The ancient heroes were illustr’ous For being benign, and not blust rous Against a vanquish’d foe : their swords Were sharp and trenchant, not their words ; And did in fight but cut work out T’ employ their courtesies about.t Quoth she, Altho’ thou hast deserv d, Base Slubberdegullion,t to be serv’d As thou didst vow to deal with me, If thou hadst got the victory ; Yet I should rather act a part That suits my fame, than thy desert. Thy arms, thy liberty, beside All that’s on th’ outside of thy hide, Are mine by military law,§ Of which I will not bate one straw \ The rest thy life and limbs, once more, Though doubly forfeit, I restore. 87b 875 880 885 890 895 * dui decumbit humi, non habet unde cadat. T See Cleveland, p. 144, in his letter to the Protector. “The « most renowned heroes have ever with such tenderness cher- ished their captives, that their swords did but cut out work tor “ their courtesies.” Thus Ovid : duo quis enim major, magis est placabilis iras Et faciles motus mens generosa capit. And again the same : Corpora magnanimo satis est prostrasse leoni Pugna suum finem, cum jacet hostis, habet. b Ovid. Trist. lib. m. t That is, a drivelling fool : to slubber, or slabber, in British,, is to drivel : in the Teutonic, it signifies to slip or slide, and so metaphorically to do a thing ill or faultily, or negligently; and gul, or gullion, the diminutive, a fool, or person easily imposed Tin public duels all horses, pieces of broken armor, or other furniture that fell to the ground, after the combatants entered the lists, were the fee*' of the marshal. 156 HUDIBRAS. [Part x Quoth Hudibras, It is too late For me to treat or stipulate ; What thou command’st I must obey ; Yet those whom I expugn’d to-day, 900 Of thine own party, I let go, And gave them life and freedom too, Both dogs and bear, upon their parol, Whom I took prisoners m this quarrel. Quoth Trulla, Whether thou or they 005 Let one another run away, Concerns not me ; but was’t not thou That gave Crowdero quarter too ? Crowdero, whom in irons bound, Thou basely threw’st into Lob’s pound,* 91 e Where still he lies, and with regret His generous bowels rage and fret : But now thy carcase shall redeem, And serve to be exchang’d for him. This said, the Knight did straight submit, 915 And laid his weapons at her feet : Next he disrob’d his gaberdine, And with it did himself resign. She took it, and forthwith divesting The mantle that she wore, said, jesting, 920 Take that, and wear it for my sake ; Then threw it o’er his sturdy back : And as the French, we conquer’d once, Now give us laws for pantaloons, The length of breeches, and the gathers, 925 Port-cannons, perriwigs, and feathers, t * A vulgar expression for any place of confinement, particu- larly the stocks.— Dr. Grey mentions a story of Mr. Lob, a preacher among the dissenters. When their meetings were prohibited, he contrived a trap-door in his pulpit, which led through many dark windings, into a cellar. His adversaries once pursued him into these recesses, and, groping about, said one to another, that they were got into Lob’s pound. This gentleman, or one of the same name and calling, is men- tioned by Mr. Prior, in his epistle to Fleetwood Shephard, esquire : So at pure barn of loud non-con, Where with my granam I have gone, When Lobb had sifted all his text, And I well hop’d the pudding next, “Now to apply,” has plagu’d me more Than all his villain cant before. [Massinger has the phrase, (Duke of Milan, A. iii. sc. 2,) but not in the sense of a place of, at least permanent, confinement.] t Our successful battles in France have alwavs been men- tioned with pleasure ; and we seem at no time 'to have been Canto iii.] HUDIBRAS. 157 Just so the proud, insulting lass Array ? d and dighted Hudibms.* Meanwhile the other champions, yerstt In hurry of the fight disperst, 930 Arriv’d, when Trulla’d won the day, To share in th’ honour and the prey, And out of Hudibras his hide, With vengeance to be satisfy’d ; Which now they were about to pour 935 Upon him in a wooden show’r : averse to the French fashions. Pantaloons were a kind of loose breeches, commonly made of silk, and puffed, which cov ered the legs, thighs, and part of the body. They are represent- ed in some of Vandyke’s pictures, and may be seen in the harle- quin entertainments. Port-cannons, were ornaments about the knees of the breeches ; they were grown to such excess in France, that Moliere was thought to have done good service, by laughing them out of fashion. Mr. Butler, in his Genuine Re- mains, vol. ii. p. 83, says of the huffing courtier, he walks in his Port-cannons like one that stalks in long grass. In his Genuine Remains, our poet often derides the violent imitation of French fashions. In the second volume is a satire entirely on this sub- ject, which was a very proper object of ridicule, as after the Restoration, not only the politics of the court led to it, but, like- wise, an earnest desire among the old cavaliers of avoiding the formal and precise gravity of the times immediately preceding. In the Pindaric Ode to the memory of Du Val, a poem allowed to be written by our author : In France, the staple of new modes, Where garbs and miens are current goods, That serves the ruder northern nations, With methods of address and treat, Prescribes new garnitures and fashions, And how to drink, and how to eat, No out of fashion wine or meat ; Conform their palates to the mode, And relish that, and not the food ; And, rather than transgress the rule, Eat kitchen-stuff, and stinking fowl ; For that which we call stinking here, Is but piquant, and haut-gout, there. Perriwigs were brought from France about the latter end of the reign of James the First, but not much in use till after the Restoration. At first, they were of an immense size in large flowing curls, as we see them in eternal buckles in Westminster Abbey, and on other monuments. Lord Bolingbroke is said to be the first who tied them up in knots, as the counsellors wore them some time ago : this was esteemed so great an undress, that when his lordship first went to court in a wig of this fashion, queen Anne was offended, and said to those about her, “ this man will come “ to me next court-day in his night-cap.” * Dighted, from the Anglo-Saxon word digtan, to dress, fit out, polish. t Erst, adverb, superlative degree, i. e. first, from er, before 158 HUDIBRAS. [Part *. But Trulla thrust herself between, And striding o’er his back agen, She brandish’d o’er her head his sword, And vow’d they should not break her word ; 940 Sh’ had given him quarter, and her blood, Or theirs, should make that quarter good. For she was bound, by law of arms, To see him safe from further harms. In dungeon deep Crowdero cast By Hudibras, as yet lay fast, Where to the hard and ruthless stones,* His great heart made perpetual moans ; Him she resolv’d that Hudibras Should ransom, and supply his place. This stopp’d their fury, and the basting Which toward Hudibras was hasting. They thought it was but just and right, That what she had achiev’d in fight, She should dispose of how she pleas’d ; Crowdero ought to be releas’d : Nor could that any way be done So well, as this she pitch’d upon : For who a better could imagine ? This therefore they resolv’d t’ engage in. The Knight and Squire first they made Rise from the ground where they were laid, /Then mounted both upon their horses, But with their faces to the arses. Orsin led Hudibras’s beast, 965 And Talgol that which Ralpho prest ; Whom stout Magnano, valiant Cerdon, And Colon, waited as a guard on ; All ush’ring Trulla, in the rear, With th’ arms of either prisoner. 970 In this proud order and array, They put themselves upon their way, Striving to reach th’ enchanted Castle, Where stout Crowdero in durance lay still. Thither with greater speed than shows, 975 And triumph over conquer’d foes, Do use t’ allow ; or than the bears, Or pageants born before lord-mayors, t * Thus Virgil : Montibus et silvis studio jactabat inani. t I believe at the lord-mayor’s show, bears were led in proces- sion, and afterwards baited for the diversion of the populace. 945 950 955 960 Canto iii.] HUDIBRAS. 159 Are wont to use, they soon arriv’d, In order, soldier-like contriv’d : 980 Still marching in a warlike posture, As fit for battle as for muster. Tne Knight and Squire they first unhorse, And, bending ’gainst the fort their force, They all advanc’d, and round about 985 Begirt the magical redoubt. Magnan’ led up in this adventure, And made way for the rest to enter : For he was skilful in black art, No less than he that built the fort,* * 990 And with an iron mace laid flat A breach, which straight all enter’d at, And in the wooden dungeon found Crowdero laid upon the ground ; Him they release from durance base, 995 Restor’d t’ his fiddle and his case, And liberty, his thirsty rage With luscious vengeance to assuage ; For he no sooner was at large, But Trulla straight brought on the charge, 1000 And in the self-same limbo put The Knight and Squire, where he was shut ; Where leaving them i’ th’ wretched hole,t Their bangs and durance to condole, Confin’d and conjur’d into narrow 1005 Enchanted mansion, to know sorrow, In the same order and array Which they advanc’d, they march’d away : But Hudibras, who scorn’d to stoop To fortune, or be said to droop, 1010 Cheer’d up himself with ends of verse, And sayings of philosophers. Quoth he, Th’ one half of man, his mind, Is, sui juris, unconfin’d, t The procession of the mob to the stocks is compared to three things: a Roman triumph, a lord-mayor’s show, and leading bears about the streets. * Magnano is before described as a blacksmith, or tinker. See Canto ii. 1. 336. t In the edition of 1704 it is printed in Hoclcly hole, meaning, by a low pun, the place where their hocks or ankles were con- fined. Hockley Hole, or Hockley i’ th’ Hole, was the name of a place resorted to for vulgar diversions. t Our author here shows his learning, by bantering the stoic philosophy; and his wit, by comparing Alexander the Great with Diogenes. 160 HUDIBRAS. [Part * 1015 And cannot be laid by the heels, What e’er the other moiety feels. ’Tis not restraint, or liberty,* That makes men prisoners or free ; But perturbations that possess The mind, or equanimities. 1020 The whole world was not half so wide To Alexander, when he cry’d, Because he had but one to subdue, t As was a paltry narrow tub to Diogenes ; who is not said,t 1025 For aught that ever I could read, To whine, put finger i’ th’ eye, and sob, Because h’ had ne’er another tub. The ancients make two sev’ral kinds Of prowess in heroic minds, 1030 The active and the passive valiant, Both which are pari libra gallant ; For both to give blows, and to carry, In fights are equi-necessary : But in defeats, the passive stout 1035 Are always found to stand it out Most desp’rately, and to out-do The active, ’gainst a conqu’ring foe : Tho’ we with blacks and blues are suggil’d,§ Or, as the vulgar say, are cudgel’d ; 1040 * Quisnam igitur liber ? sapiens, sibique imperiosus ; Quern neque pauperies, neque mors, neque vincula terrent: Responsare cupidinibus, contemnere honores Fortis ; et in seipso totus teres atque rotundus, Externi ne quid valeat per laeve morari ; In quern manca ruit semper fortuna. Horat. lib. ii. Sat. vii. 83. K aKos SeapLog, awparoq j uiv ^v^ris <5* Kanta' b piv ydp to cG)[xa XeXvpiivos, rrjv Se ipv%r)v SsSepivog^ SovXog’ b 6' ai ri ere bjia SsSeuivog, rriv Si Xe\ v^ivos, iXevQepos. Epict. p. 94. ed. Relandi. 1711. t Unus Pellaeo juveni'non sufficit orbis : Alstuat infelix angusto limite mundi Juven. Sat. x. 168. X Dolia midi Non ardent Cynici: si fregeris, altera fiet Cras domus, ant eadem plumbo commissa manebit. Sensit Alexander, testa cum vidit in ilia Magnum habitatorem, quanto felicior hie, qui Nil cuperet, quam qui totum sibi posceret, orbem, Passurus gestis aequanda pericula rebus. Juven. Sat. xiv. 308. $ From suggillo, to beat black and blue. HUBIBRAS. 161 Canto iii,] He that is valiant, and dares fight, Though drubb’d, can lose no honour by’t. Honour’s a lease for lives to come, And cannot be extended from The legal tenant :* * * § ’tis a chattel 1045 Not to be forfeited in battel.f If he that in the field is slain, Be in the bed of honour lain,t He that is beaten may be said To lie in honour’s truckle-bed.§ 1050 For as we see th’ eclipsed sun By mortals is more gaz’d upon Than when, adorn’d with all his light. He shines in serene sky most bright ; So valour, in a low estate, 1055 Is most admir’d and wonder’d at. Quoth Ralph, How great I do not know We may, by being beaten, grow ; But none that see how here we sit, Will judge us overgrown with wit. 1080 As gifted brethren, preaching by A carnal hour-glass, || do imply Illumination, can convey Into them what they have to say, But not how much ; so well enough 1065 Know you to charge, but not draw off. For who, without a cap and bauble, IF Having subdu’d a bear and rabble, And might with honour have come off, Would put it to a second proof: 1070 A politic exploit, right fit For Presbyterian zeal and wit.** * Vivit post funera virtus. f A man cannot be deprived of his honor, or forfeit it to the conqueror, as he does his arms and accoutrements. + “ The bed of honor,” says Farquhar, “ is a mighty large “ bed. Ten thousand people may lie in it together, and never 44 feel one another.” § The truckle-bed is a small bed upon wheels, which goes under the larger one, || This preaching by the hour gave room for many jokes. A punning preacher, having talked a full hour, turned his hour- glass, and said : Come, my friends, let its take the other glass. The frames for these hour-glasses remained in many churches till very lately. TT Who but a fool or child, one who deserves a fool’s cap, or a child’s play-thing. ** Raipho, being chagrined by his situation, not only blames the misconduct of the knight, which had brought them into the scrape, but sneers at him f >r his religious principles. The Ind«- 162 HUDIBRAS. [Part i Quoth Hudibras, That cuckoo’s tone, Ralpho thou always harp’st upon ; When thou at any thing would’st rail, 1075 Thou mak’st presbytery thy scale To take the height on’t, and explain To what degree it is profane. What s’ever will not with thy — what d’ye call Thy light — jump right, thou call’st synodical. 108f As if presbytery were a standard To size what s’ever’s to be slander’d. Dost not remember how this day Thou to my beard wast bold to say, That thou could’st prove bear-baiting equal 1085 With synods, orthodox and legal ? Do, if thou canst, for I deny’t, And dare thee to’t, with all thy light.* * Quoth Ralpho, Truly that is no Hard matter for a man to do, 1090 That has but any guts in’s brains, t And could believe it worth his pains ; But since you dare and urge me to it, You’ll find I’ve light enough to do it. Synods are mystical bear-gardens, 1095 Where elders, deputies, church-wardens, And other members of the court, Manage the Babylonish sport. For prolocutor, scribe, and bearward, Do differ only in a mere word. HOC Both are but sev’ral synagogues Of carnal men, and bears, and dogs : Both antichristian assemblies, To mischief bent, as far’s in them lies : Both stave and tail with fierce contests, 1105 The one with men, the other beasts, The diff’rence is, the one fights with The tongue, the other with the teeth ; And that they bait but bears in this, In th’ other souls and consciences ; 1110 Where saints themselves are brought to stake,! pendents, at one time, were as inveterate against the Presbyte- rians, as both of them were against the church. For an expla- nation of some following verses, see the note on Canto i. 457. * The Independents were great pretenders to the light of the spirit. They supposed that all their actions, as well as their prayers and preachings, were immediately directed by it. t A proverbial expression for one who has some share of com- mon sense. | The Presbyterians, when in power, by means of their synods, Canto hi.] HUDIBRAS. For gospel-light and conscience -sake ; Expos’d to scribes and presbyters, Instead of mastiff dogs and curs ; Than whom th’ have less humanity, For these at souls of men will fly. This to the prophet did appear, Who in a vision saw a bear, Prefiguring the beastly rage Of church-rule, in this latter age :* * * * § As is demonstrated at full By him that baited the pope’s bull.t Bears naturally are beasts of prey, That live by rapine ; so do they. What are their orders, constitutions, Church-censures, curses, absolutions, But sev’ral mystic chains they make, To tie poor Christians to the stake ? And then set heathen officers, Instead of dogs, about their ears.! For to prohibit and dispense, To find out, or to make offence ; Of hell and heaven to dispose, To play with souls at fast and loose : To set what characters they please, And mulcts on sin or godliness ; Reduce the church to gospel-order, By rapine, sacrilege, and murder ; To make presbytery supreme, And kings themselves submit to them ;§ 163 1115 .120 1125 1130 1135 1140 assemblies, classes, scribes, presbyters, triers, orders, censures, curses, &c., &c., persecuted the ministers, both of the Independ- ents and of the Church of England, with violence and cruelty little short of the inquisition. Sir Roger L’Estrange mentions some strong instances of their persecuting tenets. * Daniel vii. 5. “ And behold another beast, a second, like to a bear ; and it raised up itself on one side ; and it had three ribs in the mouth of it, between the teeth of it : and they said thus unto it, Arise, devour much flesh.” t The baiting of the pope’s bull was the title of a pamphlet written by Henry Burton, rector of St. Matthew, Friday-streetg and printed at London in 1627. f Tacitus says of the persecutions under JNero, pereuntibus addita ludibria, ut ferarum tergis contecti, laniatu canum interi-; rent. Annal. xv. 44. § The disciplinarians, in the reign of queen Elizabeth, main- tained that kings ought to be subject to ecclesiastical censures, as well as other persons. This doctrine was revived by the Presbyterians afterwards, and actually put in practice by the Scots, in their treatment of Charles II. while he continued among them. The Presbyterians, in the civil war, maintained 164 HUDIBItAS. [Par, _ And force all people, tho’ against Their consciences, to turn saints ; Must prove a pretty thriving- trade, When saints monopolists are made : When pious frauds, and holy shifts, Are dispensations, and gifts 5 There godliness becomes mere ware, And ev’ry synod but a fair. Synods are whelps o’ th’ Inquisition, A mungrel breed of like pemicion,* And growing up, became the sires Of scribes, commissioners, and triers ;+ hose bus’ness is, by cunning slight, To cast a figure for men’s light ; To find, in lines of beard and face, The physiognomy of grace ;t And by the sound and twang of nose, If all be sound within disclose, Free from a crack, or flaw of sinning, As men try pipkins by the ringing ;§ 1145 1150 1155 1160 that princes must submit their sceptres, and throw down thpir “hurnT the church > yea ’ t0 " ck "p tb * SS oTZlTt JZ he ^ r «^ icion ’ P erha P s > is coined by our author* he Cff8Ct ’ fr ° m the Latin Pemicies, though t T - he F^ sbyteria " s had a set of officers called the triers who examined the candidates for orders, and the presentees to bene- frf w ? lf a d J h ? purifications of lay elders. See the preface ma^prfnf tb S p U ph nDg ^ , Clergy * As the Presbyterians de- “ d r th ? Ch ^. rch of Eogiand, What command, or example fnr lnra 1 • f S! r knealln S at the communion, for wearing a surplFce’ for lord bishops, for a penned liturgy, &c., &c., so the Independ- ents retorted upon them : Where are your lay elders, your pres- byters, your classes, your synods, to be found in Scripture'* y ° Ur steeple houses, and your national church, or your a > ? Ur metre P salms ’ or y°ur two sacraments 7 show us Directory?^ 01 example for them * Dr * Hammond’s View of the J™? ,p ei J P re tended great skill in these matters. If they rnil e i fa8e 0r bea l d °i a man ’ if he happened to be of a ruddy complexion, or cheerful countenance, they would reject ac . cou p s * Th e precise and puritanical faces J of dissenter. maY ^ observed in the P^nts of the most eminent tw^n T ^ der ^ Y be inclined to think the dispute be- tween the knight and the squire rather too long. But if he the ,^ at ob J ect of the poem was to expose to scorn and contempt those sectaries, and those pretenders to ex- traordmary sanctity, who had overturned the constitution al and ' s tate; and, beside that, such enthusiasts were then indnk^ 111 n* t0 b ?/- let P ltb ’ be wiU not wonder that the author lndu ^ as himseif m this fine strain of wit and humor. * I hey judged of man’s inward grace by his outward com IIUDIBRAS. 165 Canto iii.J By black caps, underlaid with white,* Give certain guess at inward light ; Which serjeants at the gospel wear,+ To make the sp’ritual calling clear. The handkerchief about the neck, 1165 — Canonical cravat of smeck,t From whom the institution came, When church and state they set on flame s And worn by them as badges then Of spiritual warfaring-men, — 1170 Judge rightly if regeneration Be of the newest cutin fashion : plexion. Dr. Echard says, “If a man had but a little blood in “his cheeks, his condition was accounted very dangerous, and “ it was almost an infallible sign of reprobation : and I will as- “sure you,”. says he, “a very honest man, of a very sanguine “ complexion, if he chance to come by an officious zealot’s “ house, might be put in the stocks only for looking fresh in a “ frosty morning.” pulsa, dignoscere cautus Quid solidum crepet, et picta) tectoria linguae. Persius, Sat. v. 24. Many persons, particularly the Dissenters, in our poet’s time, were fond of wearing black caps lined with white. See the print of Baxter and others. These caps, however, were not pe- culiar to the Protestant sectaries, nor always of a black color ; master Drurie, a jesuit, who, with a hundred of his auditors, lost his life, October 26, 1623, by the sinking of the garret floor, where he was preaching, is thus described : “ When he had “ read (his text) he sat down in the chaire, and put upon his « head a red quilt cap, having a linnen white one under it, turned “up about the brims, and so undertooke his text.” — The doleful Evensong, by Thomas Good, 4to. This continued a fashion for many years after. t The coif, or black worn on the head, is the badge of a ser- jeant at law T . . ... 1 A club or junto, which wrote several books against the king, consisting of five eminent holders forth, namely : Stephen Mar- shall, Edmund Calamy, Thomas Young, Matthew Newcomen and William Spurstow ; the initials of their names make the word Smectymnws : and, by way of distinction, they wore hand- kerchiefs about their necks, which afterwards degenerated into carnal cravats. Hall, bishop of Exeter, presented an humble remonstrance to the high court of parliament, in behalf of liturgy and episcopacy ; which was answered by the junto under this title, The Original of Liturgy and Episcopacy discussed by Smectymnuus ; John Milton is supposed to have been concerned in writing it. — For an account of Thomas Young, see Warton s notes on Milton.— The five counsellors of Charles II. in the year 1670, Clifford, Arlington, Buckingham, Ashley, Lauderdale, were called the Cabal, from the initials of their names.— Mr. Mark Noble, in his Memoirs of the Cromwell Family, says, “When “ Oliver resided at St. Ives, he usually went to church with a “ piece of red flannel about his neck, as he was subject to an in- * flammation in his throat,” p. 105, note. 166 HUDIBRAS. [Fasti Sure 'tis an orthodox opinion, That grace is founded in dominion.* * * § Great piety consists in pride ; 1175 To rule is to be sanctify’d : To domineer, and to controul, Both o’er the body and the soul, Is the most perfect discipline Of church-rule, and by right divine. 1160 Bell and the Dragon’s chaplains were More moderate than those by far :+ For they, poor knaves, were glad to cheat. To get their wives and children meat ; But these will not be fobb’d off so, 1185 They mast have wealth and power too ; Or else, with blood and desolation, They’ll tear it out o’ th 5 heart o’ th 5 nation. Sure these themselves from primitive And heathen priesthood do derive, 1100 When butchers were the only clerks, t Elders and presbyters of kirks ; Whose directory was to kill ; And some believe it is so still.§ The only difference is, that then 1195 They slaughter'd only beasts, now men. For them to sacrifice a bullock, Or, now and then, a child to Moloch, They count a vile abomination, But not to slaughter a whole nation. 1200 Presbytery does but translate The papacy to a free state, A common-wealth of popery. Where ev’rv village is a see As well as Rome, and must maintain 1205 A tithe-pig metropolitan : Where ev’ry presbyter, and deacon, Commands the keys for cheese and bacon ;l| * The Presbyterians had snch an esteem for power, that they thought those who obtained it showed a mark of grace ; and that those only who had grace were entitled to power. t The priests, their wives, and children, feasted upon the pro visions offered to the idol, and pretended that he had devoured them. See the Apocrypha. i Both ia the heathen and Jewish sacrifices, the animal was frequently slain by the priests. § A banter on the directory, or form of service drawn up by the Presbyterians, and substituted for the common prayer. 9 Daniel Burgess, dining with a gentlewoman of his congre- gation. and a large uncut Cheshire cheese being brought to table, he asked where he should cut it She replied, \v here you HUDIBRAS. 167 Canto iii.J And ev’ry hamlet’s governed By’s holiness, the church’s head,* * * * § 1210 More haughty and severe in’s place Than Gregory and Boniface.t Such church must, surely, be a monster With many heads : for if we conster What in th’ Apocalypse we find, 1215 According to th’ Apostles’ mind, ’Tis that the Whore of Babylon, With many heads did ride upon ;t Which heads denote the sinful tribe Of deacon, priest, lay-elder, scribe. 1220 Lay-elder, Simeon to Levi,§ pt*ase, Mr. Burgess. Upon which he ordered his servant to carry T his own house, for he would cut it at home. * The gentlemen of Cheshire sent a remonstrance to the par- liaz«i©nt, wherein they complained, that, instead of having twen- ty-^* bishops, they were then governed by a numerous pres- bytenr, amounting, with lay elders and others, to 40,000. This government, say they, is purely papal, for every minister exer- cises i>tspal jurisdiction. Dr. Grey quotes from Sir John Birken- head reeved : But never look for health nor peace If once presbytery jade us, When every priest becomes a pope, When tinkers and sow-gelders, May, if they can but ’scape the rope, Be princes and lay-elders. f The vernier was consecrated in the year 1073, the latter elected in *294. Two most insolent and assuming popes, who wanted to raise the tiara above all the crowned heads in Chris tendom. Gregory the Seventh, commonly called Hildebrand, was the first who arrogated to himself the authority to excom- municate and depose the emperor. Boniface the Third, was he who assumed the title of universal bishop. Boniface the Eighth, at the jubilee instituted by himself, appeared one day in the habit of a pope, and the next day in that of an emperor. He caused two swords to be carried before him, to show that he was invested with all power ecclesiastical and temporal. X The church of Rome has often been compared to the whore of Babylon, mentioned in the seventeenth chapter of the Reve- lation. The beast, which the whore rode upon, is here said to signify the Presbyterian establishment ; and the seven, or many heads of the beast, are interpreted, by the poet, to mean their several officers, deacons, priests, scribes, lay-elders, &c. § That is, lay-elder, an associate to the priesthood, for inter- ested, if not for iniquitous purposes ; alluding to Genesis xlix. 5, 6. “Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty “are in their habitations : O, my soul, come not thou into their “ secret ; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united “for in their anger they slew a man.” Mr. Robert Gordon, in his History of the illustrious family of Gordon, vol. ii. p. 197, compares the solemn league and covenant with the holy league in France : he says they were as like as one egg to another, the one was nursed by the Jesuits, the other by the Scots Presbyte- HUDIBRAS. [Part i 168 Whose little finger is as heavy As loins of patriarchs, prince -prelate, And bishop-secular.* This zealot Is of a mungrel, diverse kind, Cleric before, and lay behind ;t A lawless linsey-woolsey brother, t Half of one order, half another ; A creature of amphibious nature, On land a beast, a fish in water ; That always preys on grace, or sin ; A sheep without, a wolf within. This fierce inquisitor has chief Dominion over men’s belief And manners ; can pronounce a saint Idolatrous, or ignorant, When superciliously he sifts, Through coarsest boulter, others gifts. § For all men live, and judge amiss, Whose talents jump not just with his. He’ll lay on gifts with hand, and place On dullest noddle light and grace, The manufacture of the kirk, Whose pastors are but th’ handiwork Of his mechanic paws, instilling Divinity in them by feeling. From whence they start up chosen vessels, Made by contact, as men get measles. So cardinals, they say, do grope At th’ other end the new made pope.|| 1250 Hold, hold, quoth Hudibras, Soft fire, They say, does make sweet malt. Good Squire, Festina lente, not too fast ; rians, Simeon and Levi. See Doughtie’s Velitationes Polemic®, P * * 4 Such is the bishop and prince of Liege, and such are sev eral of the bishops in Germany. [1793.] t A trifling book called a Key to Hudibras, under the name of Sir Roger L’Estrange, pretends to decipher all the characters in the poem, and tells us that one Andrew Crawford was here in- tended This character is supposed by others to have been designed for William Dunning, a Scotch presbyter. But, proba- bly, the author meant no more than to give a general represen- tation of the lay-elders. 1 Lawless, because it was forbidden by the Levitical law to -wear a mixture of linen and woollen in the same garment. ttwv Updffds AfW, omdev <5f doa/cuv, ixtaarj bi v ’ r Iliad, vi. 180. Eustathius, on the passage, has abundance of Greek learning Hesiod has given the chimsera three heads. Theog. 319. f The ranters were a wild sect, that denied all doctrines of re* ligion, natural and revealed. With one of these the knight had entered into a dispute, and at last came to blows. See a ranter’s character in Butler’s Posthumous Works. Whitelocke says, the soldiers in the parliament army were frequently punished for being ranters. Nero clothed Christians in the skins of wild beasts ; but these wrapped wild beasts in the skins of Christians. % Dr. South, in his sermon preached in Westminster Abbey, 1692, says, speaking of the times about 50 years before, Latin unto them was a mortal crime, and Greek looked upon as a sin 171 1310 1315 1320 172 HLDIBRAS. [Pjlrt i A trade of knowledge as replete. As others are with fraud and cheat ; against the Holy Ghost : that all learning was then cried down, so that with them the best preachers were such as could not read, and the ablest divines such as could not write : in all their preachments they so highly pretended to the spirit, that they hardly could spell the letter. To be blind, was with them the proper qua] in cation of a spiritual guide, and to be book-learned, (as they called it,) and to be irreligious, were almost terms con- vertible. Xone were thought fit for the ministry but tradesmen and mechanics, because none else were allowed to have the spirit. Those only were accounted like St. Paul who could work with their hands, and, in a literal sense, drive the nail home, and be able to make a pulpit before they preached in it. The Independents and Anabaptists were great enemies to all human learning : they thought that preaching, and every thing else, was to come by inspiration. When Jack Cade ordered lord Say’s head to be struck off he said to him : “ I am the besom that must sweep the court clean “ of such filth as thou art. Thou bast most traiterously corrupt- “ ed the youth of the realm, in erecting a grammar-school ; and ‘"whereas, before, our forefathers had no other books, but the " score and the tally, thou hast caused printing to be used ; and, “ contrary to the king, his-crown and dignity, thou hast built a " paper-mill. It will be proved to thy face/that thou hast men about thee, that usually talk of a noun and a verb : and such “ abominable words as no Christian ear can endure to hear.” Henry VI. Pan II. Act iv. sc. 7. In Mr. Butler’s M5. 1 find the following reflections on this subject : " The modem doctrine of the court, that men's natural parts are rather impaired than improved by study and learning, is ri- diculously false ; and the design of it as plain as its ignorant nonsense — no more than what the levellers and Quakers found out before them : that is, to bring down all other men. whom they have no possibility of coming near any other way, to an equality with themselves ; that no man may be thought to re- ceive any advantage by that which they, with all their confi- dence. dare not pretend to. “ It is true that some learned men. by their want of judgment and discretion, will sometimes do and say things that appear ri- diculous to those who are entirely ignorant : but he, who from hence takes measure of all others, is most indiscreet. For no one can make another man’s want of reason a just cause for not improving his own. but he who would have been as little the better for it, if he had taken the same pains. ** He is a tool that has nothing of philosophy in him ; but not so much so as he who has nothing else but philosophy. He that has less learning than Ms capacity is able to manage, shall have more use of it than he that has more than he can master; for no mac can possibly have a ready and active com- mand of that which is too heavy for him. Qui ultra facilitates sapit desipit. Sense and reason are too chargeable for the ordi- nary occasions of scholars, and what they are not able to go to the expense of : therefore metaphysics are better for their pur- poses. as being cheapi. which any dunce may bear the expense ofj and which make a better noise in the ears of the ignorant than that wMch is true and right. Aon qui plurima. sed qui nulla legeruni. eroditi habendi.” “ A blind man knows he cannot see, and is glad to be le4 HUDIBRAS. 173 Canto iii.] An art t’ incumber gifts and wit, And render both for nothing fit ; though it be but by a dog ; but he that is blind in his understand- ing, which is the worst blindness of all, believes he sees as well as°the best ; and scorns a guide. . . “Men glory in that which is their infelicity. — Learning Greek and Latin, to understand the sciences contained in them, which commonly proves no better bargain than he makes, who breaks his teeth to crack a nut, which has nothing but a maggot in it. He that hath many languages to express his thoughts, but no ihoughts worth expressing, is like one who can write a good hand, but never the better sense ; or one who can cast up any sums of money, but has none to reckon. “ They who study mathematics only to fix their minds, and render them steadier to apply to other things, as there are many who profess to do, are as wise as those who think, by rowing in boats, to learn to swim. , , “ He that has made an hasty march through most arts and sciences, is like an ill captain, who leaves garrisons and strong* holds behind him.” “ The arts and sciences are only tools, Which students do their business with in schools : Although great men have said, ’tis more abstruse, And hard to understand them, than their use. And though they were intended but in order To better things, few ever venture further. But as all good designs are so accurst, The best intended often prove the worst ; So what was meant t’ improve the world, quite cross, Has turn’d to its calamity and loss. “ The greatest part of learning’s only meant For curiosity and ornament. And therefore most pretending virtuosos. Like Indians, bore their lips and flat their noses. When ’tis their artificial want of wit, That spoils their work, instead of mending it. To prove by syllogism is but to spell, A proposition like a syllable. “ Critics esteem no sciences so noble, As worn-out languages, to vamp and cobble. And when they had corrected all old copies, To cut themselves out work, made new and foppish, Assum’d an arbitrary power t’ invent And overdo what th’ author never meant. Could find a deeper, subtler meaning out, Than th’ innocentest writer ever thought. “ Good scholars are but journeymen to nature, That shows them all their tricks to imitate her : Though some mistake the reason she proposes, And make them imitate their virtuosos. And arts and sciences are but a kind Of trade and occupation of the mind : An exercise by which mankind is taught The discipline and management of thought To best advantages ; and takes its lesson From nature, or her secretary reason, — Is both the best, or worst way of instructing, 174 HUDIBRAS. [PARr 1 Makes light unactive, dull and troubled. 1345 Like little David in Saul’s doublet ;* * A cheat that scholars put upon Other men’s reason and their own ; A sort of error to ensconce Absurdity and ignorance, 1350 That renders all the avenues To truth impervious, and abstruse, By making plain things, in debate, By art perplex’d and intricate : Lor nothing goes for sense or light 1355 That will not with old rules jump righ , As if rules were not in the schools Deriv’d from truth but truth from rules.1 This pagan, heathenish invention Is good for nothing but contention. 1360 For as in sword-and-buckler fight, All blows do on the target light ; So when men argue, the great’st part O’ th’ contest falls on terms of art, Until the fustian stuff be spent, 1365 And then they fall to th’ argument. Quoth Hudibras, Friend Ralph, thou hast Out-run the constable at last ; For thou art fallen on a new Dispute, as senseless as untrue, 1370 But to the former opposite, And contrary as black to white ; Mere disparata,t that concerning Presbytery, this human learning ; As men mistake or understand her doctrine : That as it happens proves the legerdemain, Or practical dexterity of the brain : And renders all that have to do with books, The fairest gamesters, or the falsest rooks. For there’s a wide and a vast difference, Between a man’s own, and another’s sense ; As is of those that drive a trade upon Other men’s reputation and their own. And as more cheats are used in public stocks, So those that trade upon account of books, Are greater rooks than he who singly deals Upon his own account and nothing steals.” * See 1 Samuel xvii. 38. | Bishop Warburton in a note on these lines, says : “ This ob “ servation is just, the logicians have run into strange absurdi- “ ties of this kind : Peter Ramus, the best of them, in his Logic, “ rejects a very just argument of Cicero’s as sophistical, because 44 it did not jump right with his rules.” X Things totally different from each other. Canto hi.] HUDIBRAS. Two things s’ averse, they never. yet, But in thy rambling fancy, met. But I shall take a fit occasion T* evince thee by ratiocination, Some other time, in place more proper Than this w’ are in : therefore let s stop And rest our weary’d bones awhile. Already tir’d with other toil. 175 1375 here, 1300 PART II. CANTO L THE ARGUMENT. The Knight clapp’d by th’ heels in prison, The last unhappy expedition,* Love brings his action on the case,+ And lays it upon Hudibras. How he receives the lady’s visit, And cunningly solicits his suit, Which she defers ; yet, on parole, Redeems him from th’ enchanted hole. * In the author’s corrected copy, printed 1674, the lines stand thus ; but in the edition printed ten years before, we read : The knight , by damnable magician , Being cast illegally in prison. In the edition of 1704 the old reading was restored, but we have in general used the author’s corrected copy. t We may observe how justly Mr. Butler, who was an able lawyer, applies all law terms. — An action on the case, is a gen- eral action given for redress of wrongs and injuries, done with- out force, and by law not provided against, in order to have sat- isfaction for damages. The author informs us, in his own note, at the beginning of this canto, that he had the fourth Alneis of Virgil in view, which passes from the tumults of war and the fatigues of a dangerous voyage, to the tender subject of love. The French translator has divided the poem into nine cantos, and not into parts : but, as the poet published his work at three different times, and in his corrected copy continued the division into parts, it is taking too great a liberty for anv commentator to alter that arrangement : especially as he might do it, as before observed, in imitation of Spenser, and the Italian and Spanish poets, Tasso, Ariosto, Alonso de Ercilla, &c. &c. CANTO I. Bur now, t’ observe romantique method, * * * § Let rusty steel awhile be sheathed ; And all those harsh and rugged sounds* Of bastinadoes, cuts, and wounds, Exchang’d to love’s more gentle style, 5 To let our reader breathe awhile : In which, that we may be as brief as Is possible, by way of preface. Is’t not enough to make one strange, t That some men’s fancies should ne’er change, 10 But make all people do and say The same things still the self-same way ?t Some writers make all ladies purloin’d, And knights pursuing like a whirlwind : Others make all their knights, in fits 15 Of jealousy, to lose their wits ; Till drawing blood o’ th’ dames, like witches, They’re forthwith cur’d of their capriches.§ Some always thrive in their amours, By pulling plasters off their sores ;|J 20 * Shakspeare says, “ Our stern alarums chang’d to merry meetings, “ Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.” Richard III. Act i. sc. 1. f That is, to make one wonder : strange , here, is an adjective ; when a man sees a new or unexpected object, he is said to be strange to it. t Few men have genius enough to vary their style ; both poets and painters are very apt to be mannerists. § It was a vulgar notion that, if you drew blood from a witch, she could not hurt you. Thus Cleveland, in his Rebel Scot : Scots are like witches ; do but whet your pen, Scratch till the blood comes, they'll not hurt you then. || By shewing their wounds to the ladies — [who, it must be remembered, in the times of chivalry, were instructed in surgery and the healing art. In the romance of Perceforest a young lady puts in the dislocated arm of a knight.] 8 * HUDIBRAS. [Part a 178 As cripples do to get an alms, Just so do they, and win their dames. Some force whole regions, in despite O’ geography, to change their site ; Make former times shake hands with latter, And that which was before come after ;* But those that write in rhyme still make The one verse for the other’s sake ; For one for sense, and one for rhyme, I think’s sufficient at one time. But we forget in what sad plight We whilom left the captiv’d Knight And perlsive Squire, both bruis’d in body, And conjur’d into safe custody. Tir’d with dispute, and speaking Latin, As well as basting and bear-baiting, And desperate of any course, To free himself by wit or force, His only solace was, that now His dog-bolt fortune was so low, That either it must quickly end, Or turn about again, and mend :+ In which he found th’ event, no less Than other times, beside his guess. 25 30 35 40 * These were common faults with romance writers : even Shakspeare and Virgil have not wholly avoided them. The for- mer transports his characters, in a quarter of an hour, from France to England : the latter has formed an intrigue between Dido and .(Eneas, who probably lived in very distant periods. The Spanish writers are complained of for these errors. Don Quixote, vol. ii. ch. 21. t It was a maxim among the Stoic philosophers, many of whose tenets seem to be adopted by our knight, that things which were violent could not be lasting. Si longa est, levis est ; si gravis est, brevis est. The term dog-bolt, may be taken from the situation of a rabbit, or other animal, that is forced from its hole by a dog, and then said to bolt. Unless it ought to have been written dolg-bote, which in the Saxon law signifies a rec- ompense for a hurt or injury. — Cyclopaedia. In English, dog, in composition, like 5vs in Greek, implies that the thing denoted by the noun annexed to it, is vile, bad, savage, or unfortunate in its kind : thus dog-rose, dog-latin, dog- trick, dog-cheap, and many others. [Archdeacon Nares considers dog-bolt evidently as a term of reproach, and gives quotations from Johnson to that ef- fect, and adds, that no compound of dog and bolt , in any sense, appears to afford an interpretation of it. The happiest illustra- tion of the text is afforded by Archdeacon Todd from Beaumont and Fletcher’s Spanish Curate : “ For to say truth, the lawyer is a dogbolt } “ An arrant worm.”] Canto i.] HUDIBRAS. There is a taJl long-sided dame,* * * § But wond’rous light — ycleped Fame, That like a thin camelion boards Herself on air,t and eats her words ;t Upon her shoulders wings she wears Like hanging sleeves, lin’d thro’ with ears, And eyes, and tongues, as poets list, Made good by deep mythologist : With these she through the welkin flies, § And sometimes carries truth, oft’ lies ; With letters hung, like eastern pigeons, [| And Mercuries of furthest regions ; * Our author has evidently followed Virgil (iEneid. iv.) in some parts of this description of Fame. Thus : Ingrediturque solo, et caput inter nubila condit. malum qua non aliud velocius ullum : Mobilitate viget, viresque acquirit eundo. pedibus celerem et pernicibus alis. cui, quot sunt corpore plumse, Tot vigiles oculi subter, mirabile dictu, Tot linguae, totidem ora sonant, tot subriget aures. Tam ficti pravique tenax quam nuntia veri. t The vulgar notion is, that camelions live on air ; but they are known to feed on flies, caterpillars, and other insects. f Mr. Warburton has an ingenious note on this passage. u The “ beauty of it,” he says, “ consists in the double meaning : the “ first alluding to Fame’s living on report ; the second, an insin- “ uation that, if a report is narrowly inquired into, and traced up “ to the original author, it is made to contradict itself.” § Welkin is derived from the Anglo-Saxon wolc, wolcn, clouds. [Lye gives as one meaning of wolc, aer, aether, firmamentum. The welkin .] It is used, in general, by the English poets, for we seldom meet with it in prose, to denote the sky or visible region of the air. But Chaucer seems to distinguish between sky and welkin : He let a certaine winde ygo, That blew so hideously and hie, That it ne lefte not a skie, (cloud,) In all the welkin long and brode. || Every one has heard of the pigeons of Aleppo, which served as couriers. The birds were taken from their young ones, and conveyed to any distant place iq open cages. If it was necessary to send home any intelligence, a pigeon was let loose, with a billet tied to her foot, and she flew back with tlo utmost expe- dition. They would return in ten hours from Alexandretto to Aleppo, and in two days from Bagdad. Savary says they have traversed the former in the space of five or six hours. This method was practised at Mutina, when besieged by Antony See Pliny’s Natural History, lib. x. 37. Anacreon’s Dove says, she was employed to carry love-letters for her master. Kat vvv o'ias halva EtrifoAdj KOfil^d). Brunck. Analect. tom. L 179 45 50 55 180 HUDIBRAS. [Part n Diumals writ for regulation Of lying, to inform the nation,* * * § And by their public use to bring down The rate of whetstones in the kingdom :t 6C About her neck a pacquet-male,t Fraught with advice, some fresh, some stale, Of men that walk’d when they were dead, And cows of monsters brought to bed : Of hail-stones big as pullets’ eggs, 65 And puppies whelp’d with twice two legs :§ . A blazing star seen in the west, By six or seven men at least. Two trumpets she does sound at once,|J * The newspapers of those times, called Mercuries and Diur- nals, were not more authentic than similar publications are at present. Each party had its Mercuries : there was Mercurius Rusticus, and Mercurius Aulicus. t The observations on the learning of Shakspeare will explain this passage. We there read : “ A happy talent for lying, familiar “ enough to those men of fire, who looked on every one graver “ than themselves as their whetstone .” This, you may remem- ber, is a proverbial term, denoting an excitement to lying, or a subject that gave a man an opportunity of breaking a jest upon another. fungar vice cotis. Hor. Ars Poet. 1. 304. Thus Shakspeare makes Celia reply to Rosalind upon the entry of the Clown : “ Fortune hath sent this natural for our “ whetstone ; for always the dulness of the fool is the whetstone “ of the wits.” And Jonson, alluding to the same, in the char- acter of Amorphus, says : “ He will lye cheaper than any beggar, “and louder than any clock ; for which he is right properly ac- “ commodated to the whetstone, his page.” — “ This,” says Mr. Warburton, “ will explain a smart repartee of Sir Francis Bacon “ before king James, to whom Sir Kenelm Digby was relating, “ that he had seen the true philosopher’s stone in the possession “ of a hermit in Italy : when the king was very curious to know “what sort of a stone it was, and Sir Kenelm much puzzled in “ describing it, Sir Francis Bacon said : ‘ Perhaps it was a whet- “ ‘ stone.’ ” “ To lie, for a whetstone, at Temple Sowerby, in Westmore- “ land.” See Sir J. Harington’s Brief View, p. 179. Exmoor Courtship, p. 26, n. [It is a custom in the north, when a man tells the greatest lie in the company, to reward him with a whetstone; which is called lying for the whetstone . Budworth’s Fortnight’s Ramble to the Lakes, chap. 6, 1792.] t This is a good trait in the character of Fame : laden with reports, as a post-boy with letters in his male. The word male is derived from the Greek /irjXov , ovis; pellis ovina; because made of leather, frequently sheep-skin : hence the French word maille, now written in English, mail § To make this story wonderful as the rest, ought we not to read — thrice two, or twice four legs 7 || In Pope’s Temple of Fame, she has the trumpet of eternal praise, and the trumpet of slander. Chaucer makes iEolus an HUDIBRAS. Canto i.] 181 But both of clean contrary tones ; But whether both with the same wind, Or one before, and one behind,* We know not, only this can tell, The one sounds vilely, th’ other well, And therefore vulgar authors name The one Good, th’ other Evil Fame. This tattling gossipt knew too well, What mischief Hudibras befel ; And straight the spightful tidings bears, Of all, to th’ unkind widow’s ears.t Democritus ne’er laugh’d so loud,§ To see bawds carted through the crowd, Or funerals with stately pomp, March slowly on in solemn dump, As she laugh’d out, until her back, As well as sides, was like to crack. She vow’d she would go see the sight, And visit the distressed Knight, To do the office of a neighbour, And be a gossip at his labour ; And from his wooden jail, the stocks, To set at- large his fetter-locks, And by exchange, parole, or ransom, To free him from th’ enchanted mansion. This b’ing resolv’d, she call’d for hood And usher, implements abroad|| Which ladies wear, beside a slender Young waiting damsel to attend her. 70 75 80 85 90 95 attendant on Fame, and blow the clarion of laud and the clarion of slander, alternately, according to her directions : the latter is described as black and stinking. * This Hudibrastick description is imitated, but very un- eauallv, by Cotton, in his Travesty of the fourth book of Virgil. t Gossip or god-sib is a Saxon word, signifying cognata ex Darte dei or godmother. It is now likewise become an appella- tion for any idle woman. Tattle, i. e. sine modo garrire. i Protinus ad regem cursus detorquet larban, Incenditque animum dictis. Virg. iEn. iv. 196. $ Perpetuo risu pulmonem agitare solebat Democritus . Ridebat curas, nec non et gaudia vulgi, Interdum et lacrymas. Juv - Sat. x. 34-51. II Some have doubted whether the word usher .denotes a* attendant, or part of her dress , but lfirom P. in. c. m 1. 399, it is plain that it signifies the former. Beside two more of her retinue, To testify what pass’d between you. 182 HUDIBRAS. [Part ij All which appearing, on she went To find the Knight in limbo pent IOC And ’twas not long before she found Him, and his stout Squire, in the pound ; Both coupled in enchanted tether, By further leg behind together : For as he set upon his rump, 105 His head, like one in doleful dump, Between his knees, his hands applyM Unto his ears on either side, And by him, in another hole, Afflicted Ralpho, cheek by joul,* 110 She came upon him in his wooden Magician’s circle, on the sudden, As spirits do t’ a conjurer, When in their dreadful shapes th’ appear. No sooner did the Knight perceive her, 115 But straight he fell into a fever, Inflam’d all over with disgrace, To be seen by her in such a place ; Which made him hang his head, and scowl. And wink and goggle like an owl ; 120 He felt his brains begin to swim, When thus the Dame accosted him : This place, quoth she, they say’s enchanted, And with delinquent spirits haunted ; That here are ty’d in chains, and scourg’d, 125 Until their guilty crimes be purg’d : Look, there are two of them appear Like persons I have seen somewhere : Some have mistaken blocks and posts For spectres, apparitions, ghosts, 130 With saucer-eyes and horns ; and some Have heard the devil beat a drum :t But if our eyes are not false glasses, That give a wrong account of faces, That beard and I should be acquainted, 135 Before ’twas conjur’d and enchanted. For though it be disfigur’d somewhat, As if ’t had lately been in combat, * That is, cheek to cheek ; sometimes pronounced jig by jole ; hut here properly written, and derived, from two Anglo-Saxon words, ceac, maxilla, and ciol, or dole, guttnr. t The story of Mr. Mompesson’s house being haunted by a drummer, made a great noise about the time our author wrote The narrative is in Mr. Glanvil’s book of Witchcraft. Canto l] HUDIBRAS. It did belong t* a worthy Knight, Howe’er this goblin is come by’t. When Hudibras the Lady heard To take kind notice of his beard, And speak with such respect and honour, Both of the beard and the beard’s owner, * He thought it best to set as good A face upon it as he cou’d, And thus he spoke : Lady, your bright And radiant eyes are in the right ; The beard’s th’ identique beard you knew, The same numerically true : Nor is it worn by fiend or elf, But its proprietor himself. O heavens ! quoth she, can that be true ? 1 do begin to fear ’tis you ; Not by your individual whiskers, 155 But by your dialect and discourse, That never spoke to man or beast, In notions vulgarly exprest : * See the dignity of the beard maintained by Dr. Bulwer in his Artificial Changeling, p. 196. He says, shaving the chin is lastly to be accounted a note of effeminacy, as appears by eu- nuchs, who produce not a beard, the sign of virility. Alexander and his officers did not shave their beards till they were effemi- nated by Persian luxury. It was late before barbers were in request at Rome : they first came from Sicily 454 years after the foundation of Rome. Varro tells us they were introduced by Ticinius Mena. Scipio Africanus was the first who shaved his face every day: the emperor Augustus used this practice. See Pliny’s Nat. Hist. b. vii. c. 59. Diogenes seeing one with a smooth shaved chin, said to him, “ Hast thou whereof to accuse “ nature for making thee a man and not a woman V'— The Rho- dians and Byzantines, contrary to the practice of modem Rus- sians, persisted against their laws and edicts in shaving, and the use of the razor.— Ulmus de fine barbae humanae, is of opinion, that the beard seems not merely for ornament, or age, or sex, not for covering nor cleanliness, but to serve the office of the human soul. And that nature gave to mankind a beard, that it might remain as an index in the face of the masculine generative fac- ulty .-Beard-haters are by Barclay clapped on board the ship of fools : Laudis erat quandam barbatos esse parentes Atque supercilium mento gestare pudico Socratis exemplo, barbam nutrire solebant Cultores sophiae. False hair was worn by the Roman ladies. Martial says : Jurat capillos esse, quos emit, suos Fabulla nunquid ilia, Paulle, pejerat. And again : Ovid, de Art. Amandi, iii. 165 : Fosmina procedit densissima crinibus emptis ; Proque suis alios efficit sere suos : Nec pudor est emisse palam. 183 140 145 150 184 HUDIBRAS. [Part n But what malignant star, alas ! Has brought you both to this sad pass ? 160 Quoth he, The fortune of the war, Which I am less afflicted for, Than to be seen with beard and face By you in such a homely case. Quoth she, Those need not be asham’d 165 For being honourably maim’d ; If he that is in battle conquer’d, Have any title to his own beard, Tho’ yours be sorely lugg’d and too, It does your visage more adorn 170 Than if ’tv 5 ere prun’d, and starch’d and lander’d, And cut square by the Russian standard.* A tom beard’s like a tatter’d ensign, That’s bravest which there are most rents in. That petticoat, about your shoulders, 175 Does not so well become a soldier’s ; And I’m afraid they are worse handled, Altho’ i’ th’ rear, your beard the van led ;+ And those uneasy bruises make My heart for company to ake, 180 To see so worshipful a friend I’ th’ pillory set, at the wrong end. Quoth Hudibras, This tiling call’d pain,t Is, as the learned stoics maintain, Not bad simpliciter, nor good, 185 But merely as ’tis understood. Sense is deceitful, and may feign As well in counterfeiting pain As other gross phaenomenas, In which it oft’ mistakes the case. 190 But since th’ immortal intellect, That’s free from error and defect, * The beaus in the reign of James I. and Charles I. spent as much time in dressing their beards, as modern beaus do in dress- ing their hair ; and many of them kept a person to read to them while the operation was performing. It is well known what great difficulty the Czar Peter of Russia met with in obliging his subjects to cut off their beards. T The van is the fron or fore part of an army, and commonly the post of danger and honor ; the rear the hinder part. So that making a front in the rear must be retreating from the enemy. By this comical expression the lady signifies that he turned tail to them, by which means his shoulders sped worse than his beard. t Some tenets of the stoic philosophers are here burlesqued with great humor Canto i.] HUDIBRAS. 185 Whose objects still persist the same, Is free from outward bruise or maim, Which nought external can expose 195 To gross material bangs or blows, It follows we can ne’er be sure Whether we pain or not endure ; And just so far are sore and griev’d, As by the fancy is believ’d. 200 Some have been wounded with conceit, And died of mere opinion straight ;* Others, tho’ wounded sore in reason, Felt no contusion, nor discretion. t A Saxon Duke did grow so fat, 205 That mice, as histories relate, Ate grots and labyrinths to dwell in His postique parts, without his feeling ; Then how is’t possible a kick Should e’er reach that way to the quick ?t 210 Quoth she, I grant it is in vain, For one that’s basted to feel pain ; Because the pangs his bones endure, Contribute nothing to the cure ; Yet honour hurt is wont to rage 215 With pain no med’cine can assuage. Quoth he, That honour’s veiy squeamish That takes a basting for a blemish : * In Grey’s note on this passage there are several stories of this sort ; of which the most remarkable is the case of the Chev- alier Jarre, “ who was upon the scaffold at Troyes, had his hair “ cut off, the handkerchief before his eyes, and the sword in the “ executioner’s hand to cut off his head ; but the king pardoned “ him : being taken up, his fear had so taken hold of him, that “ he could not stand nor speak : they led him to bed, and opened “ a vein, but no blood would come.” Lord Stafford’s Letters, vol. i. p. 16b. t As it is here stopped, it signifies, others though really and sorely wounded, (see the Lady’s Answer, line 212) felt no bruise or cut : but if we put a semicolon after sore, and no stop after reason, the meaning may be, others though wounded sore in body, yet in mind or imagination felt no bruise or cut. Discretion, here signifies a cut, or separation of parts. X He justly argues from this story, that if a man could be so gnawed and mangled in those parts, without his feeling it, a kick in the same place would not much hurt him. See Butler’s Remains, vol. i. p. 31, where it is asserted, that the note in the old editions is by Butler himself. I cannot fix this story on any particular duke of Saxony. It may be paralleled by the case of an inferior animal, as related by a pretended eye-witness. — In Arcadia scio me esse spectatum suem, quae prae pinguedine car- nis, non modo surgere non posset ; sed etiam ui in ejus corpore sorex, exessi carne, nidum fecisset, et peperissit mures. Varro, ii. 4, 12. HUDIBRAS. [Part n 186 220 For what’s more honourable than scars, Or skin to tatters rent in wars ? Some have been beaten till they know What wood a cudgel’s of by th’ blow ; Some kick’d, until they can feel whether A shoe be Spanish or neat’s leather : And yet have met, after long running, 225 With some whom they have taught that cunning. The furthest way about, t’ o’ercome, I’ th’ end does prove the nearest home By laws of learned duellists, They that are bruis’d with wood, or fists, And think one beating may for once Suffice, are cowards and poltroons : But if they dare engage t’ a second, They’re stout and gallant fellows reckon’d Th’ old Romans freedom did bestow, Our princes worship, with a blow King Pyrrhus cur’d his splenetic And testy courtiers with a kick.t 230 235 * One form of declaring a slave free, at Rome, was for the praetor, in the presence of certain persons, to give the slave a light stroke with a small stick, from its use called vindicta. Tune mihi dominus, rerum imperils hominumque Tot tantisque minor ; quern ter vindicta quaterque Imposita haud unquam misera formidine privet . F Horat. Sat. u. 7, /5. Vindicta, postquam meus a praetore recessi, Cur mihi non liceat jussit quodcunque voluntas. Persius, v. 88. Sometimes freedom was given by an alapa, or blow with the open hand upon the face or head : quibus una Quintem Vertigo facit. Pers. v. 75. Quos manumittebant eos, Alapa percussos, circumageban et liberos confirmabant : from hence, perhaps, came the saying of a man’s being giddy, or having his head turned with his good fortune. Verterit hunc dominus, momento turbinis exit Marcus Dama. Pers. v. 78. t It was a general belief that he could cure the spleen by sacrificing a white cock, and with his right foot gently pressing the spleen of the persons, laid down on their backs, a little on one side. Nor was any so poor and inconsiderable as not receive the benefit of his royal touch, if he desired it 1 m toe of that foot was said to have a divine virtue, for after his death the rest of his body being consumed, this was found un- hurt and untouched by the fire. Vid. Plutarch, in Vita Pyrrhi, mb initio. Canto ] HUDIBRAS. 187 The Negus,* * * § when some mighty lord Or potentate’s to be restor’d, 240 And pardon’d for some great offence, With which he’s willing to dispense, First has him laid upon his belly, Then beaten back and side, t’ a jelly ;+ That done, he rises, humbly bows, 245 And gives thanks for the princely blows ; Departs not meanly proud, and boasting Of his magnificent rib-roasting. The beaten soldier proves most manful, That, like his sword, endures the anvil , X 250 And justly’s found so formidable, The more his valour’s malleable : But he that fears a bastinado, Will run away from his own shadow :§ And though I’m now in durance fast, 255 By our own party basely cast, Ransom, exchange, parole, refus’d, And worst than by the en’my us’d ; In close catasta|| shut, past hope Of wit or valour to elope ; 260 As beards, the nearer that they tend To th’ earth, still grow more reverend ; And cannons shoot the higher pitches, The lower we let down their breeches ; I’ll make this low dejected fate 265 Advance me to a greater height. IT Quoth she, You’ve almost made m’ in love With that which did my pity move. Great wits and valours, like great states, * Negus was king of Abyssinia. t This story is told in Le Blanc’s Travels, Part ii. ch. 4. J TV7rr£g HUDIBRAS. Quoth ho, My faith as adamantine, As chains of destiny, I’ll maintain ; True as Apollo ever spoke, Or oracle from heart of oak ;* * * § And if you’ll give my flame but vent, Now in close hugger-mugger pent, And shine upon me but benignly, With that one, and that other pigsney,t The sun and day shall sooner part, Than love, or you, shake off my heart : The sun that shall no more dispense His own, but your bright influence ; I’ll carve your name on barks of trees, t With true love-knots, and flourishes ; That shall infuse eternal spring, And everlasting flourishing : Drink every letter on’t in stum, And make it brisk champaign become ;§ [Part it 555 560 565 570 * Jupiter’s oracle in Epirus, near the city of Dodona, Ubi ne- mus erat Jovi sacrum, querneum totum. in quo Jovis Dodonaei templum fuisse narratur. f Pigsney is a term of blandishment, from the Anglo-Saxon, or Danish, piga, a pretty girl, or the eyes of a pretty lass : thus in Pembroke’s Arcadia, Dametas says to his wife, “ Miso, mine own pigsnie.” To love one’s mistress more than one’s eyes, is a phrase used by all nations : thus Moschus in Greek, Catullus in Latin ; Spenser, in his Fairy Queen : her eyes, sweet smiling in delight, Moystened their fiery beams, with which she thrill’d Frail hearts, yet quenched not ; like starry light, Which sparkling on the silent waves, does seem more bright. Thus the Italian poets, Tasso and Ariosto. Tyrwhitt says, in a note on Chaucer’s Miller’s Tale, v. 3268, “ the Romans used oculus, as a term of endearment ; and perhaps piggesnie, in bur- lesque poetry, means ocellus porci, the eyes of a pig being re- markably small.” t See Don Quixote, vol. i. ch. 4, and vol. iv. ch. 73. Populus est, memini, fluviali consita ripa, Est in qua nostri littera scripta memor. Popule, vive precor, quae consita margine ripee Hoc in rugoso cortice carmen habes ; Cum Paris (Enone poterit spirare relicta, Ad fontem Xanthi versa recurret aqua. Ovid. CEnone Paridi. 25. [Run, run, Orlando ; carve on every tree, The fair, the chaste, and unexpressive she. As you like it.] § Strim, i. e. any new, thick, unfermented liquor, from the Lat- in mustum. Dr. Johnson, in his Dictionary, has quoted these lines to prove that stum may signify wine revived by a new fer- mentation : but, perhaps, it means no more than figuratively to fay, that the remembrance of the widow's charms could turn HUDIBRAS. Canto i.] Whate’er you tread, your foot shall set The primrose and the violet ; All spices, perfumes, and sweet powders, Shall borrow from your breath their odours ; Nature her charter shall renew, And take all lives of things from you ; The world depend upon your eye, And when you frown upon it, die. Only our loves shall still survive, New worlds and natures to outlive ; And like to herald’s moons, remain All crescents, without change or wane. Hold, hold, quoth she, no more of this, Sir knight, you take your aim amiss ; For you will find it a hard chapter, To catch me with poetic rapture, In which your mastery of art Doth show itself, and not your heart ; Nor will you raise in mine combustion, By dint of high heroic fustian :* * 199 575 580 585 590 bad wine into good, foul muddy wine into clear sparkling cham- paigne. It was usual, among the gallants of Butler’s time, to drink as many bumpers to their mistress’s health, as there were letters in her name. The custom prevailed among the Romans ; thus the well-known epigram of Martial ; Naevia sex cyathis, septem Justina bibatur, Quinque Lycas, Lyde quatuor, Ida tribus. — Ep. i. 72. For every letter drink a glass, That spells the name you fancy, Take four, if Suky be your lass, And five if it be Nancy. The like compliment was paid to a particular friend or bene- 4 ctor: Det numerum cyathis Instanti littera Rufi : Auctor enim tanti muneris ille mihi.— Mart. epig. viii. 51. Mr. Sandys, in his Travels, says, this custom is still much practised by the merry Greeks, in the Morea, and other parts of the Levant. E yx ei AwiMws KvaOttg Seta. lib. vii. Anthol. * In Butler’s MS. I find the following lines In foreign universities, When a king’s born, or weds, or dies, All other studies are laid by, And all apply to poetry. Some write in Hebrew, some in Greek, And some more wise in Arabic ; T’ avoid the critique, and th’ expence Of difficulter wit and sense. Foreign land is often used by Mr. Butler for England S®« Genuine Remains. 200 HUDIBRAS [Part n She that with poetry is won, Is but a desk to write upon ; As no edge can be sharp and keen, That by the subtlest eye is seen : So no wit should acute b’ allow’d That’s easy to be understood. For poets sing, though more speak plain, As those that quote their works maintain ; And no man’s bound to any thing He does not say, but only sing. For, since the good Confessor’s time, No deeds are valid, writ in rhyme ; Nor any held authentic acts, Seal’d with the tooth upon the wax : For men did then so freely deal, Their words were deeds, and teeth a seal. The following grants are said to be authentic ; but whether they are or not, they are probably what the poet alludes to : — Charter of Edward the Confessor. Iche Edward Konyng, Have geoven of my forest the keeping, Of the hundred of Chelmer and Daneing, [now Den- gy, in Essex.] To Randolph Peperking and to his kindling, With heorte amthynde, doe and bock, Hare and fox, cat and brock , [badger] Wild foule with his flocke, Patrick, fesaunte hen, and fesaunte cock ; With green and wilde stobb and stokk, [timber and stubbs of trees] To kepen, and to yeqmen by all her might, [their] Both by day, and eke by night. And hounds for to holde, Gode swift and bolde. Four Greyhounds and six beaches , [bitch hounds] For hare and fox, and wilde cattes And thereof ich made him my bocke [i. e. this deed my written evidence] Wittenes the Bishop Wolston, And boche ycleped many on. [witness] And Sweyne of Essex, our brother, And token hin many other, And our steward Howelin That besought me for him. [Stz beaches.— This line, as quoted by Steevens in a note to the Introduction to the Taming of the Shrew, runs thus, Four Grey- hounds and six bratches, which must be the correct reading, as may be gathered from the following quotations from Minshew and Ducange, unnoticed by the Shakspeare Commentators, in their numerous notes on the word, and their doubts on its gen- der. A brache , a little hound. — Minshew. Bracetus , brachetus % vulgo brachet. Charta Hen. II. tom. 2, Monast. Angl. p. 283. Concedo eis 2 leporarios et 4 bracetos ad leporem capiendum. Constit. Feder. Reg. Sicil. c. 115. Ut, nullus .... praesumal canem braccum videlicet, vel leporarium .... alterius furto subtrahere,] HUDIBRAS. 201 Canto i.] And what men say of her, they mean No more than that on which they lean. Some with Arabian spices strive, 595 T’ embalm her cruelly alive ; Or season her, as French cooks use Their haut-gouts, bouillies, cr ragouts ; Use her so barbarously ill, To grind her lips upon a mill * * 600 Until the facet doublet doth Fit their rhymes rather than her mouth Her mouth compar’d t’ an oyster’s, with A row of pearl in’t, ’stead of teeth ; Bock, in Saxon, is book, or written evidence ; this land was therefore held as bocland, a noble tenure in strict entail, that could not be alienated from the right heir. Hopton, in the County of Salop, To the Heyrs Male of the Hopton, lawfully begotten. From me and from myne, to thee and to thine, While the water runs, and the sun doth shine, For lack of heyrs to the king againe. I William, king, the third year of my reign, Give to the Norman hunter. To me that art both line and deare, [related, or of my lineage] The Hop and the Hoptoune, And all the bounds up and downe Under the earth to hell, Above the earth to heaven. From me, and from myne, To thee and to thyne ; As good and as faire, As ever they myne were ; To witness that this is sooth, [true] I bite the wite wax with my tooth, Before Jugg, Marode, and Margery, And my third son Henery, For one bow, and one broad arrow, When I come to hunt upon Yarrow. This grant of William the Conqueror, is in John Stow’s Chron- icle, and in Blount’s Antient Tenures. Other rhyming charters may be seen in Morant’s Essex ; Little Dunmow, vol. ii. p. 429, and at Rochford, vol. i. p. 272. . * As they do by comparing her lips to rubies polished by a mill, which is in effect, and no better, than to grind by a mill, and that until those false stones (for, when all is done, lips are not true rubies) do plainly appear to have been brought in by them as rather befitting the absurdity of their rhymes, than that there is really any propriety in the comparison between her lips and rubies. t Poets and romance writers have not been very scrupulous in the choice of metaphors, when they represented the beauties of their mistresses. Facets are precious stones, ground a la facette. or with many faces, that they may have the greater lustre Doublets are crystals joined together with a cement, green of red, in order t« resemble stones of that color. 9 * HUDIBRAS. [Part n 605 202 Others make poesies of her cheeks ; Where red, and whitest colours mix ; In which the lily and the rose, For Indian lake and ceruse goes. The sun and moon, by her bright eyes, Eclips’d and darken’d in the skies \ Are but black patches that she wears. Cut into suns, and moons, and stars,* * * § By which astrologers, as well As those in heav’n above, can tell What strange events they do foreshow, Unto her under-world below.t Her voice the music of the spheres, So loud, it deafens mortal ears ; As wise philosophers have thought, And that’s the cause we hear it not-t This has been done by some, who those Th’ ador’d in rhyme, would kick in prose ; And in those ribbons would have hung, Of which melodiously they sung.§ That have the hard fate to write best, . 625 Of those that still deserve it least ;|| It matters not, how false or forc’d, So the best things be said o’ th’ worst ; * The ladies formerly were very fond of wearing a great nnm her of black patches on their faces, and, perhaps, might amuse themselves in devising the shape of them. This fashion is al luded to in Sir Kenelm Digby’s discourse on the sympathetic powder, and ridiculed in the Spectator, No. 50. But the poet here alludes to Dr. Bulwer’s Artificial Changeling, p. 252, &c. f A double entendre. X “ Pythagoras,” saith Censorinus, “asserted, that this world “is made according to musical proportion; and that the seven “ planets, betwixt heaven and earth, which govern the nativities “ of mortals, have an harmonious motion, and render various “ sounds according to their several heights, so consonant, that “ they make most sweet melody, but to us inaudible, because of “the greatness of the noise, which the narrow passage of our “ ears is not capable to receive.” Stanley’s Life of Pythagoras, p. 393. § Thus Waller on a girdle : Give me but what this riband bound. || Warburton was of opinion that Butler alluded to one of Mr. Waller’s poems on Saccharissa, where he complains of her un- kindness. Others suppose, that he alludes to Mr. Waller s poems on Oliver Cromwell, and King Charles II. The poet s reply to the king, when he reproached him with having written best in praise of Oliver Cromwell, is known to every one. “ We “ poets,” says he, “ succeed better in fiction than in truth.” But this passage seems to relate to ladies and love, not to kings and politics. Canto i.] HUDIBRAS. 203 It goes for nothing when ’tis said, Only the arrow’s drawn to th’ head, 630 Whether it be the swan or goose They level at : so shepherds use To set the same mark on the hip, Both of their sound and rotten sheep : For wits that carry low or wide, 635 Must be aim’d higher, or beside The mark, which else they ne’er come nigh, But when they take their aim awry.* But I do wonder you should cliuse This way t’attack me with your muse. 640 As one cut out to pass your tricks on, * With Fulham’s of poetic fiction :f I rather hop’d I should no more Hear from you o’ th’ gallanting score ; For hard dry bastings use to prove 645 The readiest remedies of love,t Next a dry diet ; but if those fail, Yet this uneasy loop-hol’d jail, In which y’ are hamper’d by the fetlock, Cannot but put y’ in mind of wedlock : 650 Wedlock, that’s worse than any hole here, If that may serve you for a cooler T’ allay your mettle, all agog Upon a wife, the heavier clog. * An allusion to gunnery. In Butler’s MS. Common-pla®e book are the following lines : Ingenuity, or wit, Does only th’ owner fit For nothing, but to be undone. For nature never gave to mortal yet, A free and arbitrary power of wit : But bound him to his good behaviour for’t, That he should never use it to do hurt. Wit does but divert men from the road, In which things vulgarly are understood ; Favours mistake, and ignorance, to own A better sense than commonly is known. Most men are so unjust, they look upon Another’s wit as enemy t’ their own. t That is, with cheats or impositions. Fulham was a can word for a false die, many of them being made at that place The high dice were loaded so as to come up 4, 5, 6, and the low ones 1, 2. 3. Frequently mentioned in Butler’s Genuine Re mains. + "E pTis strange how some men’s tempers suits Like bawd and brandy, with dispute ,* That for their own opinions stand fast, Only to have them claw’d and canvast. That keep their consciences in cases, t As fiddlers do their crowds and bases,! Ne’er to be us’d but whfen they’re bent To play a fit for argument^ Make true and false, unjust and just, Of no use but to be discust ; Dispute and set a paradox, Like a straight boot, upon the stocks, And stretch it more unmercifully, Than Helmont, Montaigne, White, or Tully,|| * That is, how some men love disputing, as a bawd loves A^pun, or jeu de mots, on cases of conscience, t That is, their fiddles and violoncellos. $ The old phrase was, to play a fit of mirth : the word fit often occurs in ancient ballads, and metrical romances : it is generally applied to music, and signifies a division or part, for the nience of the performers ; thus in the old poem of John the Reeve, the first part ends with this line, The first fitt here find we ; afterwards it signified the whole part or division: thus Chaucei concludes the rhyme of Sir Thopas : Lo ! lordes min, here is a fit ; If ye will any more of it, To tell it woll I fond. The learned and ingenious bishop of Dromore, (Dr. Percy,/ thinks the word fit originally signified a poetic strain, verse, or P °|| m Men are too apt to subtilize when they labor in defence of a favorite sect or system. Van Helmont was an eminent phy sician and naturalist, a warm opposer of the pnnctpto of Ans- tntif* and Galen and unreasonablv attached to chemistry. ±ie was 6 born at Brisks, in 1588, and died 1664 Mikael de Mon taigne was born at Perigord, of a good family , 1533, died Canto ii.] HUDIBRAS. 217 So th’ ancient Stoics in the porch, 15 With fierce dispute maintain’d their church, Beat out their brains in fight and study, To prove that virtue is a body,* That bonum is an animal, Made good with stout polemic brawl : 20 In which some hundreds on the place He was fancifully educated by his father, waked every morning with instruments of music, taught Latin by conversation, and Greek as an amusement. His paradoxes related only to common life ; for he had little depth of learning. His essays contain abundance of whimsical reflections on matters of ordinary oc- currence, especially upon his own temper and qualities. He was counsellor in the parliament of Bourdeaux, and mayor of the same place. Thomas White was second son of Richard White, of Essex, esquire, by Mary his wife, daughter of Edmund Plow- den, the great lawyer, in the reign of Elizabeth. He was a zealous champion for the church of Rome and the Aristotelian philosophy. He wrote against Joseph Glanville, who printed at London, 1665, a book entitled, Scepsis Scientifica, or Confessed Ignorance the Way to Science. Mr. White’s answer, which de- fended Aristotle and his disciples, was entitled, Scire, sive Scep- tices et Scepticorum a jure Disputationis exclusio. This pro- duced a reply from Glanville, under the title of, Scire, tuum ni- hil est. White published several books with the signatures of Thomas Albius, or Thomas Anglus ex Albiis. His Dialogues de Mundo, bear date 1642, and are signed, autore Thoma Anglo e generosa Albiorum in oriente Trinobantum prosapid. oriundo. He embraced the opinions of Sir Kenelm Digby. For Tully some editions read Lully. Raymond Lully was a Majorcan, born in the thirteenth century. He is said to have been extreme- ly dissolute in his youth; to have turned sober at forty; in his old age to have preached the gospel to the Saracens, and suffered martyrdom, anno 1315. As to his paradoxes, prodiit, says San- derson, e media barbarie vir magna professus, R. Lullus, qui opus logicum quam specioso titulo insignivit, artem magnam commentus : cujus ope pollicetur trimestri spatio hominem, quamvis vel ipsa literarum elementa nescientem, totam encyclo- paediam perdocere ; idque per circulos et triangulos, et literas al- phabeti sursum versum revolutas. There is a summary of his scheme in Gassendus de Usu Logics, c. 8; Alsted Encyclop. tom. iv. sect. 17. He is frequently mentioned in Butler’s Re- mains, see vol. i. 131, and in the character of an hermetic phi- losopher, vol. ii. pp. 232, 247-251. But I have retained the word Tully with the author’s corrected edition. Mr. Butler alluded, I suppose, to Cicero’s Stoicorum Paradoxa, in which, merely for the exercise of his wit, and to amuse himself and his friends, he has undertaken to defend some of the most extravagant doc- trines of the porch : Ego vero ilia ipsa, quae vix in gymnasiis et in otio stoici probant, ludens conjeci in communes locos. * The stoics allowed of no incorporeal substance, no medium between body and nothing. With them accidents and qualities, virtues and vices, the passions of the mind, and everything else, was body. Animam constat animal esse, cum ipsa efficiat ut simus animalia. Virtus autem nihil aliud est quam animus tal- iter se habens. Ergo animal est. See also Seneca, epistle 113, and Plutarch on Superstition, sub initio. HUDIBRAS [Part it 218 Were slain outright,* and many a face Retrench’d of nose, and eyes, and beard, To maintain what their sect averr’d. All which the knight and squire in wrath, 25 Had like t’ have suffer’d for their faith ; Each striving to make good his own, As by the sequel shall be shown. The sun had long since, in the lap Of Thetis, taken out his nap, 30 And like a lobster boil’d, the morn From black to red began to turn ;t When Hudibras, whom thoughts and aching ’Twixt sleeping kept all night and waking, Began to rouse his drowsy eyes, 35 And from his couch prepar’d to rise ; Resolving to dispatch the deed He vow’d to do with trusty speed : But first, with knocking loud and bawling, * We meet with the same account in the Remains, vol. ii. 242. “This had been an excellent course for the old round- “ headed stoics to find out whether bonum was corpus, or virtue 44 an animal ; about which they had so many fierce encounters 41 in their stoa, that about 1400 lost their lives on the place, and 44 far many more their beards, and teeth, and noses.” The Gre- cian history, I believe, does not countenance these remarks. Diogenes Laertius, in his life of Zeno, book vii. sect. 5, says, that this philosopher read his lectures in the stoa or portico, and hopes the place would be no more violated by civil seditions : for, adds he, when the thirty tyrants governed the republic, 1400 citizens were killed there. Making no mention of a philosophi- cal brawl, but speaking of a series of civil executions, which took place in the ninety -fourth olympiad, at least a hundred years before the foundation of the stoical school. In the old an- notations, the words of Laertius are cited differently. 44 In por “ ticu (stoicorum schola Athenis) discipulorurn sed’itionibus, “mille quadringenti triginta cives interfecti sunt.” But from whence the words “ discipulorurn seditionibus” were picked up, I know not : unless from the old version of Ambrosius of Carnal - doli. There is nothing to answer them in the Greek, nor do they appear in the translations of Aldobrandus or Meibomius. Xen- ophon observes, that more persons were destroyed by the tyran- ny of the thirty, than had been slain by the enemy in eight en- tire years of the Peloponnesian war. Both Isocrates and AEs- chines make the number fifteen hundred. Seneca De Tranquil, thirteen hundred. Lysias reports, that three hundred were con- demned by one sentence. Laertius is the only writer that rep- resents the portico as the scene of their sufferings. This, it is true, stood in the centre of Athens, in or near the forum. Perhaps, also, it might not be far from the desmoterion, oi prison. t Mr. M. Bacon says, this simile is taken from Rabelais, who calls the lobster cardinalized, from the red habit assumed by the clergy of that rank. HUDIBRAS. Canto ii.] 219 He rous’d the squire, in truckle lolling ;* And after many circumstances, Which vulgar authors in romances, Do use to spend their time and wits on, To make impertinent description, They got, with much ado, to horse, And to the castle bent their course, In which he to the dame before To suffer whipping-duty swore :+ Where now arriv’d, and half unharnest, To carry on the work in earnest, He stopp’d and paus’d upon the sudden, And with a serious forehead plodding, Sprung a new scruple in his head, Which first he scratch’d, and after said ; Whether it be direct infringing An oath, if I should wave this swinging , X And what I’ve sworn to bear, forbear, And so b’ equivocation swear ;§ Or whether ’t be a lesser sin To be forsworn, than act the thing, Are deep and subtle points, which must, T’ inform my conscience, be discust ; In which to err a little, may To errors infinite make way : And therefore I desire to know Thy judgment, ere we farther go. Quoth RalpW, Since you do injoin’t, I shall enlarge upon the point ; And, for my own part, do not doubt Th’ affirmative may be made out. But first, to state the case aright, For best advantage of our light ; And thus ’tis, whether ’t be a sin, To claw and curry our own skin, Greater or less than to forbear, And that you are forsworn forswear. 40 45 50 55 60 65 70 75 * See Don Quixote, Part ii. ch. 20. A truckle-bed is a little bed on wheels, which runs under a larger bed. t In some of the early editions, it is duly swore, the sense being in which he before swore to the dame to suffer whipping duly, i From the Anglo-Saxon word swingan, to beat, or whip. § The equivocations and mental reservations of the Jesuits were loudly complained of, and by none more than by the sec- taries. When these last came into power, the royalists had too often an opportunity of bringing the same charge against them. See Sanderson De Jur. Oblig. pr. ii. 55, 11. 220 HUDIBRAS. [Part n But first, o’ th’ first : The inward man, And outward, like a clan and clan, Have always been at daggers-drawing And one another clapper-clawing :* * * § 81 Not that they really cuff or fence, But in a spiritual mystic sense ; Which to mistake, and make them squabble, In literal fray’s abominable ; ’Tis heathenish, in frequent use, 85 With pagans and apostate jews, To offer sacrifice of bridewells,! Like modern Indians to their idols ,*t And mongrel Christians of our times, That expiate less with greater crimes, 90 And call the foul abomination, Contrition and mortification. Is’t not enough we’re bruis’d and kicked, By sinful members of the wicked ; Our vessels, that are sanctify’d, 95 Profan’d, and curry’d back and side ; But we must claw ourselves with shameful And heathen stripes, by their example ? Which, were there nothing to forbid it, Is impious, because they did it : This therefore may be justly reckon’d A heinous sin. Now to the second; That saints may claim a dispensation To swear and forswear on occasion, I doubt not ; but it will appear With pregnant light: the point is clear, Oaths are but words, and words but wind, Too feeble implements to bind ; And hold with deeds proportion, so As shadows to a substance do.§ Then when they strive for place, ’tis fit The weaker vessel should submit. Although your church be opposite To ours, as Black Friars are to White, * The clans or tribes of the Highlanders of Scotland, have sometimes kept up an hereditary prosecution of their quarrels for many generations. The doctrine which the Independents and other sectaries held, concerning- the inward and outward man, is frequently alluded to, and frequently explained, in these notes. t Whipping, the punishment usually inflicted in houses of correction. t That is, the fakirs, dervises, bonzes, of the east. § A 6yog epyov cma , was an aphorism of Democritus. 100 105 110 Canto ii.J HUDIBRAS In rule and order, yet I grant You are a reformado saint ;* And what the saints do claim as due, Yon may pretend a title to : But saints, whom oaths or vows oblige, Know little of their privilege ; Farther, I mean, than carrying on Some self-advantage of their own : For if the devil, to serve his turn, Can tell truth ; why the saints should scorn, When it serves theirs, to swear and lie, 125 I think there’s little reason why : Else h’ has a greater power than they, Which ’twere impiety to say. We’re not commanded to forbear, Indefinitely, at all to swear; 130 But to swear idly, and in vain, Without self-interest or gain. For breaking of an oath and lying, Is but a kind of self-denying, A saint-like virtue ; and from hence 135 Some have broke oaths by providence : Some, to the glory of the Lord, Perjur’d themselves, and broke their word :t And this the constant rule and practice Of all our late apostles’ acts is. 140 Was not the cause at first begun With perjury, and carried on 1 Was there an oath the godly took, But in due time and place they broke ? * That is, a saint volunteer, as being a Presbyterian, for the Independents were the saints in pay. See P. iii. c. ii. 1. 91. f Dr. Owen had a wonderful knack of attributing all the pro- ceedings of his own party to the direction of the spirit. “ The “rebel army,” says South, “in their several treatings with the « king, being asked by him whether they would stand to such “ ard such agreements and promises, still answered, that they “ would do as the spirit should direct them. Whereupon that “ blessed prince would frequently condole his hard fate, that he “ had to do with persons to whom the spirit dictated one thing “ one day, and commanded the clean contrary the next.” So the history of independency : when it was first moved in the house of commons to proceed capitally against the king, Grorn- well stood up, and told them, that if any man moved this with design, he should think him the greatest traitor in the world ; nut, since providence and necessity had cast them upon it, he should pray God to bless their counsels. Harrison, Carew, and others, when tried for the part they took in the king’s death, professed they had acted out of conscience to the Lord. 221 115 120 HUDIBRAS. [Part u 145 222 Did we not bring our oaths in first, Before our plate, to have them burst, And cast in fitter models, for The present use of church and war? Did not our worthies of the house, Before they broke the peace, break vows ? 150 For having freed us first from both Th’ alleg’ance and suprem’cy oath ;* * * § Did they not next compel the nation To take, and break the protestation ?+ To swear, and after to recant, 155 The solemn league and covenant ?t To take th’ engagement, and disclaim it,§ Enforc’d by those who first did frame it ? Did they not swear, at first, to fightU * Though they did not in formal and express terms abrogate these oaths till after the king’s death, yet in effect they vacated and annulled them, by administering the king’s power, and sub- stituting other oaths, protestations, and covenants. Of these last it is said in the Icon Basilike, whoever was the author of it, “ Every man soon grows his own pope, and easily absolves him- “ self from those ties, which not the command of God’s word, or “ the laws of the land, but only the subtilty and terror of a party “ cast upon them. Either superfluous and vain, when they are “ sufficiently tied before ; or fraudulent and injurious, if by such “ after ligaments they find the impostors really aiming to dissolve “ or suspend their former just and necessary obligations.” t In the protestation they promised to defend the true reformed religion, expressed in the doctrine of the Church of England ; which yet in the covenant, not long after, they as religiously vowed to change. f And to recant is but to cant again, says Sir Robert L’Estrange. In the solemn league and covenant, (called a league, because it was to be a bond of amity and confederation between the king- doms of England and Scotland ; and a covenant, because they pretended to make a covenant with God,) they swore to defend the person and authority of the king, and cause the world to be- hold their fidelity ; and that they would not, in the least, dimin- ish his just power and greatness. The Presbyterians, who in some instances stuck to the covenant, contrived an evasion for this part of it, viz. : that they had sworn to defend the person and authority of the king in support of religion and public liberty. Now, said they, we find that the defence of the person and au- thority of the king is incompatible with the support of religion and liberty, and therefore, for the sake of religion and liberty, we are bound to oppose and ruin the king. But the Independ- ents, who were at last the prevailing party, utterly renounced the covenant. Mr. Goodwin, one of their most eminent preachers, asserted, that to violate this abominable and cursed oath, out of conscience to God, was a holy and blessed perjury. § After the death of the king a new oath was prepared, which they called the Engagement ; the form whereof was, that every man should engage and swear to be true and faithful to the gov srnment then established. || Cromwell, though in general a hypocrite, was very sincere Canto ii.] HUDIBRAS For the kings safety, and his right? And after march’d to find him out. And charg’d him home with horse and foot? And yet still had the confidence To swear it was in his defence ? _ Did they not swear to live and die With Essex, and straight laid him by ?* * * * If that were all, for some have swore As false as they, if th’ did no more.t Did they not swear to maintain law, In which that swearing made a flaw ? For protestant religion vow, That did that vowing disallow ? For privilege of parliament, In which that swearing made a rent ? And since, of all the three, not one Is left in being, ’tis well known.f Did they not swear, in express words, To prop and back the house of lords ?§ 223 160 165 170 75 when he first mustered his troop, and declared that he would not deceive them by perplexed or involved expressions, in his commission, to fight for king and parliament; but he would as soon discharge his pistol upon the king as upon any other person. * When the parliament first took up arms, and the earl of Essex was chosen general, several members of the . house i stood up and declared that they would live and die with the earl of Essex. This was afterwards the usual style of addresses to par- liament, and of their resolutions. Essex continued in great esteem with the party till September, 1644, when he was de- feated by the king, in Cornwall. But the principal occasion of his being laid aside was the subtle practice of Cromwell, who in a speech to the house had thrown out some oblique reflections on the second fight near Newbery, and the loss of Bonington castle * and, fearing the resentment of Essex, contrived to pass the self-denying ordinance, whereby Essex, as general, and most of the Presbyterians in office, were removed. The Presbyterians in the house were superior in number, and thought of new- modelling the army again ; but in the mean time the earl died. t Essex, it was loudly said by many of his friends, was poi soned. Clarendon’s History, vol. iii. b. 10. i Namely, law, religion, and privilege of parliament. § When the army began to present criminal information against the king, in order to keep the lords quiet, who might well be supposed to be in fear for their own honors, a message was sent to them promising to maintain their privileges of peerage, &c. But as soon as the king was behead- ed the § lords were discarded and turned out. February the first, ?wo days afteT the king’s death, when the lords sent a message to the commons for a committee to consider the way °f settling the nation ; the commons made an order to consider on the mo row whether the messenger should be called in, and whether the house should take any cognizance thereof. Februarythe fifth the lords sent again, but their messengers were not called 224 HUDiBRAS. [Part u Ana after turn’d out the whole house-full Of peers, as dang’rous and unuseful. 180 So Cromwell, with deep oaths and vows, Swore all the commons out o’ tk’ house ;* * Vow’d that the red-coats would disband, Ay, marry wou’d they, at their command ; And troll’d them on, and swore and swore, 185 Till th’ army turn’d them out of door. This tells us plainly what they thought, That oaths and swearing go for nought ; And that by them th’ were only meant To serve for an expedients ISO What was the public faith found out for,! But to slur men of what they fought for ? The public faith, which ev’ry one Is bound t’ observe, yet kept by none ; And if that go for nothing, why 195 Should private faith have such a tie ? in ; and it was debated, by the commons, whether the house of lords should be continued a court of judicature ; and the next day it was resolved by them, that the house of peers in parlia- ment was useless, and ought to be abolished. Whitelock. * After the king’s party was utterly overthrown, Cromwell, who all along, as it is supposed, aimed at the supreme power, persuaded the parliament to send part of their army into Ireland, and to disband the rest : which the Presbyterians in the house were forward to do. This, as he knew it would, set the army in a mutiny, which he and the rest of the commanders made show to take indignation at. And Cromwell, to make the parliament secure, called God to witness, that he was sure the army would, at their first command, cast their arms at their feet; and again solemnly swore, that he had rather himself and his whole fam- ily should be consumed, than that the army should break out into sedition. Yet in the mean time he blew up the flame ; and getting leave to go down to the array to quiet them, immediately joined with them in all their designs. By which arts he so strengthened his interest in the army, and incensed them against the parliament, that with the help of the red-coats he turned them all out of doors. Bates Elench. Mot. and others. t Expedient was a term often used by the sectaries. When the members of the council of state engaged to approve of what should be done by the commons in parliament for the future, it was ordered to draw up an expedient for the members to sub* scribe. t It was usnal to pledge the public faith, as they called it, by which they meant the credit of parliament, or their own prom- ises, for moneys borrowed, and many times never repaid. A re- markable answer was given to the citizens of London on some occasion : “ In truth the subjects may plead the property of their “goods against the king, but not against the parliament, to whom “ it appertains to dispose of all the goods of the kingdom.” Their own partisans, Milton and Lilly, complain of not being repaid the money they had laid out to support the cause. HUDIBRAS. 225 Canto ii.] Oaths were not purpos’d more than law, To keep the good and just in awe,* But to confine the bad and sinful, Like mortal cattle in a pinfold. 200 A saint’s of th’ heav’nly realm a peer ; And as no peer is bound to swear, But on the gospel of his honour, Of which he may dispose as owner, It follows, tho’ the thing be forgery, 205 And false, th’ affirm it is no perjury, But a mere ceremony, and a breach Of nothing, but a form of speech, And goes for no more when ’tis took, Than mere saluting of the book. 210 Suppose the Scriptures are of force, They’re but commissions of course, t And saints have freedom to digress, And vary from ’em as they please ; Or misinterpret them by private 215 Instructions, to all aims they drive at. Then why should we ourselves abridge, And curtail our own privilege ? Quakers, that like to lanthosns, bear Their light within them, will not swear ; 220 Their gospel is an accidence, By which they construe conscience, t And hold no sin so deeply red, As that of breaking Priscian’s head.§ The head and founder of their order, 225 That stirring hats held worse than murder ;|j * “Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous “ man, but for the lawless and disobedient.” 1 Timothy i. 9. t A satire on the liberty the parliament officers took of vary- ing from their commissions, on pretence of private instructions. t That is, they, the Quakers, interpret scripture altogether literal, and make a point of conscience of using the wrong num- ber in grammar : or, it may mean that grammar is their scripture, by which they interpret right or wrong, lawful or unlawful. $ Priscian was a great grammarian about the year 528, and when any one spoke false grammar, he was said to break Pris- cian’s head. The Quakers, we know, are great sticklers for plainness and simplicity of speech. Thou is the singular, you the plural; consequently it is breaking Priscian’s head, it is false grammar, quoth the Quaker, to use you in the singular number : George Fox was another Priscian, witness his Battel- || Some think that the order of Quakers, and not Priscian, is here meant; but then it would be holds, not held: I therefore am inclined to think that the poet humorously supposes that Priscian, who received so many blows on the head, was much 10 * HUDIBRAS. [Part u 226 These thinking they’re oblig’d to troth In swearing, will not take an oath ; Like mules, who if they’ve not the will To keep their own pace, stand stock still ; 230 But they are weak, and little know What free-born consciences may do. ’Tis the temptation of the devil That makes all human actions evil : For saints may do the same things by 235 The spirit, in sincerity, Which other men are tempted to, And at the devil’s instance do ; And yet the actions be contrary, Just as the saints and wicked vary. 240 For as on land there is no beast But in some fish at sea’s exprest ;* * So in the wicked there’s no vice, Of which the saints have not a spice ; And yet that thing that’s pious in 245 The one, in th’ other is a sin.t averse to taking off his hat; and therefore calls him the founder of Quakerism. This may Seem a far-fetched conceit; but a similar one is employed by Mr. Butler on another occasion. “ You may perceive the Quaker has a crack in his skull,” says he, “ by the great care he takes to keep his hat on, lest his sickly “ brains, if he have any, should take cold.” Remains, ii. 352 ; i. 391. April 20, 1649, nearly at the beginning of Quakerism, Everard and Winstanley, chief of the Levellers, came to the general, and made a large declaration to justify themselves. While they were speaking, they stood with their hats on ; and being demanded the reason, said, “he was but their fellow- “ creature.” “This is set down,” says Whitelocke, “ because it “ was the beginning of the appearance of this opinion.” So ob- stinate were the Quakers in this point, that Barclay makes the following declaration concerning it: “However small or foolish “ this may seem, yet, I can say boldly in the sight of God, we be- “ hooved to choose death rather than do it, and that for conscience “ sake.” There is a storv told of William Penn, that being admit- ted to an audience by Charles II., he did not pull off his hat ; when the king, as a gentle rebuke to him for his ill manners, took off his own. On which Penn said, “ Friend Charles, why dost not thou “keep on thy hat?” and the king answered, “Friend Penn, it is “ the custom of this place that no more than one person be cov- “ ered at a time.” * Thus Dubartas : So many fishes of so many features, That in the waters we may see all creatures, Even all that on the earth are to be found, As if the world were in deep waters drown’d. But see Sir Thomas Brown’s Treatise on Vulgar Errors, book iii. chap. 24. t Many held the antinomian principle, that believers, or per* Canto ii.] HUDIBRAS. 227 Is’t not ridiculous, and nonsense, A saint should be a slave to conscience ? That ought to be above such fancies, As far as above ordinances ?* * 250 She’s of the wicked, as I guess, B’ her looks, her language, and her dress : And tho’, like constables, we search For false wares one another’s church ; Yet all of us hold this for true, 255 No faith is to the wicked due. For truth is precious and divine, Too rich a pearl for carnal swine. Quoth Hudibras, All this is true, Yet ’tis not fit that all men knew 260 Those mysteries and revelations ; And therefore topical evasions Of subtle turns, and shifts of sense, Serve best with th’ wicked for pretence, Such as the learned jesuits use, 265 And presbyterians, for excuset sons regenerate, cannot sin Though they commit the same acts, which are styled and are sins in others, yet in them they are no sins. Because, say they, it is not the nature of the ac- tion that derives a quality upon the person ; but it is the antece- dent quality or condition of the person that denominates his ac- tions, and stamps them good or bad : so that they are those only who are previously wicked, that do wicked actions ; but be- lievers, doing the Very same things, never commit the same sins. * Some sectaries, especially the Muggletonians, thought them- selves so sure of salvation, that they deemed it needless to con- form to ordinances, human or divine. | On the subject of jesuitical evasions we may recite a story from Mr. Foulis. He tells us that, a little before the death of Queen Elizabeth, when the Jesuits were endeavoring to set aside King James, a little book was written, entitled, a Treatise on Equivocation, or, as it was afterwards styled by Garnet, pro- vincial of the Jesuits, a Treatise against Lying and Dissimula- tion, which yet allows an excuse for the most direct falsehood, by their law of directing the intention. For example, in time of the plague a man goes to Coventry ; at the gates he is examined upon oath whether he came from London : the traveller, though he directly came from thence, may swear positively that he did not. The reason is, because he knows himself not infected, and does not endanger Coventry ; which he supposes to answer the final intent of the demand. At the end of this book is an allow- ance and commendation of it by Blackwell, thus : Tractatus ist& valde doctus et vere pius et catholicus est. Certe sac. scriptura- rum, patrum, doctorum, scholasticorum, canonistarum, et opti- marum rationum prsesidiis plenissime firmat equitatem equivo- cationis, ideoque dignissimus qui typis propagetur ad consolatio- nem afflictorum catholicorum, et omnium piorum instructionem, Ita censeo Georgius Blackwellus archipres biter Anglise et proto- HUDIBRAS. [Part n 228 Against the protestants, when th’ happen To find their churches taken napping ; As thus : a breach of oath is duple, And either way admits a scruple, 270 And may be, ex parte of the maker, More criminal than the injur’d taker ; For he that strains too far a vow, Will break it, like an o’er bent bow : And he that made, and forc’d it, broke it, 275 Not he that for convenience took it. A broken oath is, quatenus oath, As sound t’ all purposes of troth, As broken laws are ne’er the worse, Nay, ’till they’re broken, have no force. 290 What’s justice to a man, or laws, That never comes within their claws ? They have no pow’r, but to admonish ; Cannot control, coerce, or punish, Until they’re broken, and then touch 285 Those only that do make them such. Beside, no engagement is allow’d, By men in prison made, for good ; For when they’re set at liberty, They’re from th’ engagement too set free. 290 The rabbins write, when any jew Did make to god or man a vow,* notarius apostolicus. On the second leaf it has this title : A Treatise against Lying and Fraudulent Dissimulation, newly overseen by the Author, and published for the Defence of Inno- cency, and for the Instruction of Ignorats. The MS. was seized by Sir Edward Coke, in Sir Thomas Tresham’s chamber, in the Inner Temple, and is now in the Bodleian library, at Oxford. MS. Laud. E. 45, with the attestation in Sir Edward Coke’s handwriting, 5 December 1605, and the following motto : Os quod mentitur occidit animam. An instance of the parliament- arians shifting their sense, and explaining away their declara- tion, may be this : When the Scots delivered up the king to the parliament, they were promised that he should be treated with safety, liberty, and honor. But when the Scots afterwards found reason to demand the performance of that promise, they were answered, that the promise was formed, published, and employed according as the state of affairs then stood. And yet these promises to preserve the person and authority of the king had been made with the most solemn protestations. We protest, say they, in the presence of Almighty God, which is the strongest bond of a Christian, and by the public faith, the most solemn that any state can give, that neither adversity nor success shall ever cause us to change our resolutions. * There is a traditional doctrine among the Jews, that if any person has made a vow, which afterwards he wishes to recall, ue may go to a rabbi, or three other men, and if he can prove to Canto il] HUDIBRAS. 229 Which afterwards he found untoward, And stubborn to be kept, or too hard ; Any three other jews o’ th’ nation 295 Might free him from the obligation : And have not two saints power to use A greater privilege than three jews The court of conscience, which in man Should be supreme and sovereign, 300 Is’t fit should be subordinate To ev’ry petty court i’ th’ state, And have less power than the lesser, To deal with perjury at pleasure ? Have its proceedings disallow’d, or 305 Allow’d, at fancy of pie-powder ?+ Tell all it does, or does not know, For swearing ex officio ?t Be forc’d t’ impeach a broken hedge, And pigs unring’d at vis. franc, pledge ?§ 310 them that no injury will be sustained by any one, they may free him from its obligation. See Remains, vol. i. 300. * Mr. Butler told Mr. Veal, that by the two saints he meant Dr. Downing and Mr. Marshall, who, when some of the rebels had their lives spared on condition that they would not in future bear arms against the king, were sent to dispense with the oath, and persuade them to enter again into the service. Mr. Veal was a gentleman commoner of Edmund Hall during the troubles, and was about seventy years old when he gave this account to Mr. Coopey. See Godwin’s MS. notes on Grey’s Hudibras, in the Bodleian library, Oxford. t The court of pie powder takes cognizance of such disputes as arise in fairs and markets ; and is so called from the old French word pied-puldreaux, which signifies a pedler, one who gets a livelihood without a fixed or certain residence. See Bar- rington’s Observations on the Statutes ; and Blackstone’s Com- mentaries, vol. iii. p. 32. In the borough laws of Scotland, an alien merchant is called pied-puldreaux. % In some courts an oath was administered, usually called the oath ex officio, whereby the parties were obliged to answer to interrogatories, and therefore were thought to be obliged to ac- cuse or purge themselves of any criminal matter. In the year 1604 a conference was held concerning some reforms in ecclesi- astical matters when James I. presided ; one of the matters complained of was the ex officio oath. The Lord Chancellor, lord treasurer, and the archbishop (Whitgift) defended the oath : the king gave a description of it, laid down the grounds upon which it stood, and justified the wisdom of the constitution. For swearing ex officio, that is, by taking the ex officio oath. A fur- ther account of this oath may be seen in Neal’s History of the Puritans, vol. i. p. 444. § Lords of certain manors had the right of requiring surety of the freeholders for their good behavior towards the king and his subjects : which security, taken by the steward at the lord’s court, was to be exhibited to the sheriff of the county. These manors were said to have view of frank pledge. HUDiBRAS. [Part n 230 Discover thieves, and ba\yds, recusants, Priests, witches, eves-droppers, and nuisance : Tell who did play at games unlawful, And who fill’d pots of ale but half-full ; And have no pow’r at all, nor shift, To help itself at a dead lift ? Why should not conscience have vacation As well as other courts o’ th’ nation ? Have equal power to adjourn, Appoint appearance and return ? And make as nice distinctions serve To split a case, as those that carve, Invoking cuckolds’ names, hit joints ?* Why should not tricks as slight, do points ? Is not th’ high court of justice sworn To judge that law that serves their turn ?t Make their own jealousies high treason, And fix them whomsoe’er they please on ? Cannot the learned counsel there Make laws in any shape appear ? Mould ’em as witches do their clay, When they make pictures to destroy ?t 315 320 325 330 * Our ancestors, when they found it difficult to carve a goose a hare, or other dish, used to say in jest, they should hit the iwint if they could think of the name of a cuckold. Mr. Kyrle, the man of Ross, celebrated by Pope, had always company to dine with him on a market day, and a goose, if it could be pro- cured, was one of the dishes ; which he claimed the privilege of carving himself. When any guest, ignorant of the etiquette of the table, offered to save him that trouble, he would exclaim, “ Hold your hand, man. if I am good for any thing, it is for hit- “ ting cuckolds’ joints.” . _ ^ , _ . t The high court of justice was a court first instituted for the trial of king Charles I., but afterwards extended its judicature to some of his adherents, to the year 1658. As it had no law or precedents to go by, its determinations were those which best served the turn of its members. See the form of the oath ad- ministered to them upon the trial of Sir Henry Slingsby, and Dr. Hewet, 1658, in Mercurius Politicus, No. 414, page 501. + It was supposed that witches, by forming the image of any one in wax or clay, and sticking it with pins, or putting it to other torture, could annoy also the prototype or person repre- sented. According to Dr. Dee such enchantments were used against Queen Elizabeth. Elinor Cobham employed them against Henry VI., and Amy Simpson against James VI. of Scotland. A criminal process was issued against Robert of Artois, who con- trived the figure of a young man in wax, and declaied it was made against John of France, the king’s son : he added, that he would have another figure of a woman, not baptized, against a she-devil, the queen. Monsieur de Laverdies observes, that the spirit of superstition had persuaded people, that figures of wax baptized, and pierced for several days to the heart, brought about the death of the person against whom they were intended. Canto ii.] HUD1BRAS. 231 And vex them into any form That fits their purpose to do harm? Rack them until they do confess, 335 Impeach of treason whom they please, And most perfidiously condemn Those that engag’d their lives for them ? And yet do nothing in their own sense, But what they ought by oath and conscience. 340 Can they not juggle, and with slight Conveyance play with wrong and right ; And sell their blasts of wind as deal,* * As Lapland witches bottl’d air ?t Will not fear, favour, bribe, and grudge, 345 The same case sev’ral ways adjudge ? As seamen, with the self-same gale, Will sev’ral different courses sail ; As when the sea breaks o’er its bounds,} And overflows the level grounds, 350 Those banks and dams, that, like a screen, Did keep it out, now keep it in ; So when tyrannical usurpation Invades the freedom of a nation, The laws o’ th’ land that were intended 355 To keep it out, are made defend it. Does not in chanc’ry ev’ry man swear What makes best for him in his answer ? Is not the winding up witnesses, And nicking, more than half the bus’ness? 360 For witnesses, like watches, go Just as they’re set, too fast or slow ; And where in conscience they’re strait lac’d, ’Tis ten to one that side is cast. Account of MSS. in the French king’s library, 1789, vol. ii. p. 404. , . * That is, their breath, their pleadings, their arguments, t The witches in Lapland pretended to sell bags of wind to the sailors, which would carry them to whatever quarter they pleased. See Olaus Magnus. Cleveland, in his King’s Disguise p. 61 : The Laplanders when they would sell a wind Wafting to hell, bag up thy phrase and bind It to the barque, which at the voyage end Shifts poop, and breeds the collick in the fiend. } This simile may be found in prose in Butler’s Remains, vol. i. p. 298. “ For as when the sea breaks over its bounds, and “overflows the land, those dams and banks that were made to “ keep it out, do afterwards serve to keep it in : so when tyranny « and usurpation break in upon the common right and freedom, “ the laws of God and of the land are abused, to support that “ which they were intended to oppose.” HUDIBRAS. [Part h 365 *232 Do not your juries give their verdict As if they felt the cause, not heard it ? And as they please make matter o’ fact Run all on one side as they’re packt? Nature has made man’s breast no windores, To publish what he does within doors 370 Nor what dark secrets there inhabit, Unless his own rash folly blab it. If oaths can do a man no good In his own bus’ness, why they shon’d, In other matters, do him hurt, 375 I think there’s little reason fori. He that imposes an oath makes it, Not he that for convenience takes it : Then how can any man be said To break an oath he never made ? 380 These reasons may perhaps look oddly To. th’ wicked, tho’ they evince the godly ; But if they will not serve to clear My honour, I am ne’er the near. Honour is like that glassy bubble, 385 That finds philosophers such trouble : Whose least part crack’d, the whole does fly, And wits are crack’d to find out why.t * Momus is said to have found fault with the frame of man, because there were no doors nor windows in his breast, through which his thoughts might be discovered. See an ingenious paper on this subject in the Guardian, vol. ii. No. 106. Mr. But- ler spells windore in the same manner where it does not rhyme. Perhaps he thought that the etymology of the word was wind- door. t The drop, or bubble, mentioned in this simile, is made of ordinary glass, of the shape and about twice the size described in the margin. It is nearly solid. The thick part, at D or E, will bear the stroke of a hammer; but if you break off the top in the slender and sloping part at B or C, the whole will burst with a noise, and be blown about in powder to a considerable distance. The first establishers of the Royal Society, and many philosophers in various parts of Europe, found it diffi- cult to explain this phenomenon. Monsieur Rohalt, in his Physics, calls it a kind of a miracle in nature, and says, (part i. c. xxii. § 47 :) “ Ed. Clarke lately “discovered, and brought it hither from Holland, “ and which has travelled through all the universi- “ ties in Europe, where it has raised the curiosity, “ and confounded the reason of the greatest part of “ the philosophers he accounts for it in the follow- ing manner. He says, that the drop, when taken hot from the fire, is suddenly emersed in some appropriate liquor, (cold water he thinks will break it,)* by which means the pores * Here he is mistaken. Canto ii.J HUDIBRAS. 333 Quoth Ralpho, Honour’s but a word, To swear by only in a lord :* * 390 In other men ’tis but a huff To vapour with, instead of proof ; That like a wen, looks big and swells, Insenseless, and just nothing else. Let it, quoth he, be what it will, 395 It has the world’s opinion still. But as men are not wise that run The slightest hazard, they may shun, There may a medium be found out To clear to all the world the doubt ; 400 And that is, if a man may do’t, By proxy whipp’d, or substituted Though nice and dark the point appeal Quoth Ralph, it may hold up and clear. That sinners may supply the place 405 Of suffering saints, is a plain case. Justice gives sentence, many times, On one man for another’s crimes. Our brethren of New England use Choice malefactors to excuse, t 410 on the outside are closed, and the substance of the glass con- densed ; while the inside not cooling so fast, the pores are left wider and wider from the surface to the middle : so that the air being let in, and finding no passage, bursts it to pieces. To prove the truth of his explication, he observes, that if you break off the very point of it at A, the drop will not burst : because that part being very slender, it was cooled all at once, the pores were equally closed, and there is no passage for the air into the wider pores below. If you heat the drop again in the fire, and let it cool gradually, the outer pores will be opened, and made as large as the inner, and then, in whatever part you break it, there will be no bursting. He gave three of the drops to three several jewellers, to be drilled or filed at C D and E, but when they had worked them a little way, that is, beyond the pores which were closed, they all burst to powder. * Lords, when they give judgment, are not sworn : they say only upon my honor. t Mr. Murray, of the bed-chamber, was whipping boy to king Charles I. Burnet’s History of his own Times, vol. i. p. 244. 1 This story is asserted to be true, in the notes subjoined by Mr. Butler to the early editions. A similar one is related by Dr. Grey, from Morton’s English Canaan, printed 1637. A iusty young fellow was condemned to be hanged for stealing corn ; but it w T as proposed in council to execute a bed-rid old man in the offender’s clothes, which would satisfy appearances, and pre- serve a useful member to society. Dr. Grey mentions likewise a letter from the committee of Stafford to speaker Lenthall, dated Aug. 5 , 1645, desiring a respite for Henry Steward, a soldier under the governor of Hartlebury castle, and offering two Irishmen to be executed in his stead. Ralpho calls them his brethren of New England, because the inhabitants there were generally In- I HUDIBRAS. [Part n 234 And hang the guiltless in their stead ; Of whom the churches have less need. As lately ’t happen’d : in a town There liv’d a cobler, and but one, That out of doctrine could cut use, And mend men’s lives as well as shoes. This precious brother having slain, In times of peace, an Indian, Not out of malice, but mere zeal, Because he was an infidel, The mighty Tottipottimoy* Sent to our elders an envoy, Complaining sorely of the breach Of league, held forth by brother Patch, Against the articles in force Between both churches, his and ours ; For which he crav’d the saints to render Into his hands, or hang th’ offender ; But they maturely having weigh’d They had no more but him o’ th’ trade, A man that serv’d them in a double Capacity, to teach and cobble, Resolv’d to spare him ; yet to do The Indian Hoghan Moghan too Impartial justice, in his stead did Hang an old weaver that was bed-rid : Then wherefore may not you be skipp’d, And in your room another whipp’d? For all philosophers, but the sceptic,! Hold whipping may be sympathetic. It is enough, quoth Hudibras, Thou hast resolv’d, and clear’d the case ; And canst, in conscience, not refuse, From thy own doctrine, to raise use :t I know thou wilt not, for my sake, Be tender-conscienc’d of thy back : 415 420 425 430 435 440 445 dependents. In the ecclesiastical constitution of that province, modelled according to Robinson’s platform, there * was a co-ordi- nation of churches, not a subordination of one to another. John de Laet says, primos colonos, uti et illos qui postea accesserunt, potissimum aut omnino fuisse ex eorum hominum secta, quos m Anglia Brownistas et puritanos vocant. . .. .. * j don’t know whether this was a real name, or an imitation only of North American phraseology : the appellation of an in- dividual, or a title of office. . or >A t The skeptics held that there was no certainty of sense , and consequently, that men did not always know when they felt any t A favorite expression of the sectaries of those days. HUDIBRAS. 235 Canto ii.J Then strip thee of thy carnal jerkin, And give thy outward fellow a ferking ; For when thy vessel is new hoop’d, All leaks of sinning will be stopp’d. 450 Quoth Ralpho, You mistake the matter, For in all scruples of this nature, No man includes himself, nor turns The point upon his own concerns. As no man of his own self catches 455 The itch, or amorous French aches ; So no man does himself convince, By his own doctrine, of his sins : And though all cry down self, none means * His own self in a literal sense : 460 Besides, it is not only foppish, But vile, idolatrous, and popish, For one man out of his own skin To frisk and whip another’s sin ;# As pedants out of school boy’s breeches 465 Do claw and curry their own itches. But in this case it is profane, And sinful too, because in vain ; For we must take cur oaths upon it You did the deed, when I have done it. 470 Quoth Hudibras, That’s answer’d soon ; Give us the whip, we’ll lay it on. Quoth Ralpho, That you may swear true, ’Twere properer that I whipp’d you ; For when with your consent ’tis done, 475 The act is really your own. Quoth Hudibras, It is in vain, I see, to argue ’gainst the grain ; Or, like the stars, incline men to What they’re averse themselves to do : 480 For when disputes are weary’d out, ’Tis interest still resolves the doubt : But since no reason can confute ye, I’ll try to force you to your duty ; For so it is, howe’er you mince it ; 485 As, e’er we part, I shall evince it, And curry ,+ if you stand out, whether You will or no, your stubborn leather. Canst thou refuse to bear thy part * A banter on the popish doctrine of satisfactions, t Coria perficere : or it may be derived from the Welsh kurot to beat or pound. This scene is taken from Don Quixote. 236 HUDIBRAS. [Part ii 490 I* * * § th’ public work, base as thou art ? To higgle thus, for a few blows, To gain thy Knight an op’lent spouse. Whose wealth his bowels yearn to purchase, Merely for th’ int’rest of the churches ? And when he has it in his claws, 495 Will not be hide-bound to the cause : Nor shalt thou find him a curmudgin,* If thou dispatch it without grudging : If not, resolve, before we go, That you and I must pull a crow. 500 Ye’ad best, quoth Ralpho, as the ancients Say wisely, have a care o’ th’ main chance, And look before you, ere you leap ; For as you sow, y’are like to reap : And were y’ as good as George-a-green,+ 505 I should make bold to turn agen : Nor am I doubtful of the issue In a just quarrel, as mine is so. Is’t fitting for a man of honour To whip the saints, like Bishop Bonner ?} 510 A knight t’ usurp the beadle’s office, For which y’ are like to raise brave trophies ? But I advise you, not for fear, But for your own sake, to forbear ; And for the churches, § which may chance 515 From hence, to spring a variance, And raise among themselves new scruples, Whom common danger hardly couples, Remember how in arms and politics, We still have worsted all your holy tricks ;|| 520 Trepann’d your party with intrigue, * Perhaps from the French coeur m6chant. | A valiant hero, perhaps an outlaw, in the time of Richard the First, who conquered Robin Hood and Little John. He is the same with the Pinder of Wakefield. See Echard’s History of England, vol. i. 226. The Old Ballads ; Ben Jonson’s play of the Sad Shepherd; and Sir John Suckling’s Peeins. t Bishop of London in the reign of queen Mary: a man of profligate manners and of brutal character. He sometimes whipped the Protestants, who were in custody, with his own hands, till he was tired with the violence of the exercise. Hume’s History of Mary, p. 378 ; Fox, Acts and Monuments, ed. 1576, p. 1937. § It was very common for the sectaries of those days, however attentive they might be to their own interest, to pretend that they had nothing in view but the welfare of the churches. H The Independents and Anabaptists got the army on tlieii 6ide, and overpowered the Presbyterians. 3BESIE®]P 1B1IWMID) -BO HOT®. HUDIBRAS. 237 Canto ii.] And took your grandees down a peg ; New-modell’d the army, and cashier’d All that to Legion Smec adher’d ; Made a mere utensil o’ your church, And after left it in the lurch ; A scaffold to build up our own, And when w’ had done with ’t, pull’d it down ; O’er-reach’d your rabbins of the synod, And snapp’d their canons with a why-not :* Grave synod-men, that where rever’d For solid face, and depth of beard, Their classic model prov’d a maggot, Their direct’ry an Indian pagod ;t And drown’d their discipline like a kitten, On which they’d been so long a sitting ; Decry’d it as a holy cheat, Grown out of date, and obsolete. And all the saints of the first grass, t As casting foals of Balaam’s ass. At this the Knight grew high in chafe, § And staring furiously on Ralph, He trembl’d, and look’d pale with ire, Like ashes first, then red as fire. Have I, quoth he, been ta’en in fight, And for so many moons lain by’t, And when all other means did fail, Have been exchang’d for tubs of ale ?|| 525 530 535 540 545 * Some editions read, “ capoch’d your rabbins,’’ that is, blind- folded: but this word does not agree so well with the squire s simplicity of expression. Why-not is a fanciful term used in Butler’s Remains, vol. i. p. 178 : it signifies the obliging a man to yield his assent; the driving him to a non plus, when he knows not what to answer. It may resemble quidni in Latin, and rt urjv in Greek. , . e A . t The directory was a book drawn up by the assembly of di- vines, and published by authority of parliament, containing instructions to their ministers for the regulation of public wor- ship. One of the scribes to the assembly, who executed a great part of the work, was Adoniram Byfield, said to have been a broken apothecary. He was the father of Byfield, the salvola- lll | ^rhe°Presbyterians, the-first sectaries that sprang up and op- posed the established church. $ Talibus exarsit dictis violentia Turni. v Alneid. xi. 378. 11 Mr. Butler, in his own note on these lines, says, “ The knight “-was kept prisoner in Exeter, and after several changes pro- “ posed, but none accepted of, was at last released for a barrel “ of ale, as he used upon all occasions to declare. It is proba- HUD1BRAS. [Part d 238 Not but they thought me worth a ransom, Much more consid’rable and handsome ; But for their own sakes, and for fear They were not safe, when I was there ; Now to be baffled by a scoundrel, An upstart sect’ry, and a mungrel,* Such as breed out of peccant humours Of our own church, like wens or tumours, And like a maggot in a sore, Wou'd that which gave it life devour ; It never shall be done or said : With that he seized upon his blade ; And Ralpho too, as quick and bold, Upon his basket-hilt laid hold, With equal readiness prepar’d, To draw and stand upon his guard ; When both were parted on the sudden, With hideous clamour, and a loud one, As if all sorts of noise had been Contracted into one loud din ; Or that some member to be chosen, Had got the odds above a thousand ; And, by the greatness of his noise, Prov’d fittest for his country’s choice. This strange surprisal put the Knight And wrathful Squire, into a fright ; And tho’ they stood prepar’d, with fatal Impetuous rancour to join battle, Both thought it was the wisest course To wave the fight, and mount to horse ; And to secure, by swift retreating, Themselves from danger of worse beating ; Yet neither of them would disparage, By utt’ring of his mind, his courage, Which made them stoutly keep their ground, With horror and disdain wind-bound. An d now the cause of all their feart 550 555 5G0 565 570 575 580 585 ble from hence that the character of Hudibras was in some of its features drawn from Sir Samuel Luke. ,, t h e ir * Knights errant sometimes condescended to address tneir quires in this polite language. Thus Don Quixote to Sancho . “How now, opprobrious rascal! stinking garlic-eater • sir f^ “ wilT take you and tie your dogship to a tree, as naked as your “Trhe poet does’not suffer his heroes to proceed to openvio lence • but ingeniously puts an end to the dispute, bymtroduci g them to a iew adventure. The drollery of the following scene ts inimitable. Canto ii.J HUDIBRAS. 239 By slow degrees approach’d so near, They might distinguish different noise Of horns, and pans, and dogs, and boys, And kettle-drums, whose sullen dub Sounds like the hooping of a tub : 590 But when the sight appear’d in view, They found it was an antique shew ; A triumph, that for pomp and state, Did proudest Romans emulate :* For as the aldermen of Rome 595 Their foes at training overcome, And not enlarging territory, As some, mistaken, write in story ,+ Being mounted in their best array, Upon a car, and who but they ? 600 And follow’d with a world of tall lads, That merry ditties troll’d, and ballads,! Did ride with many a good-morrow, Crying, hey for our town, thro’ the borough j So when this triumph drew so nigh, 605 They might particulars descry, They never saw two things so pat, In all respects, as this and that. First he that led the cavalcate, Wore a sow-gelder’s flagellet, 610 On which he blew as strong a levet,§ * The skimmington, or procession, to exhibit a woman who had beaten her husband, is humorously compared to a Roman triumph ; the learned reader will be pleased by comparing this description with the pompous account of iEmilius’s triumph, as described by Plutarch, and the satirical one, as given by Juvenal in his tenth satire. f The buildings at Rome were sometimes extended without the ceremony of describing a pomcerium, which Tacitus and Gellius declare no person to have had a right of extending, but such a one as had taken away some part of the enemy’s coun- try in war; perhaps line 596 may allude to the London trained bands. Our poet’s learning and ideas here crowd upon him se fast, that he seems to confound together the ceremonies of en larging the pomoerium, of a triumph at Rome, and other cere- monies, with a lord mayor’s show, exercising the train bands, and perhaps a borough election. + The vulgar, and the soldiers themselves, had at triumphal processions the liberty of abusing their general. Their invec- tives were commonly conveyed in metre. Ecce Caesar nunc triumphat, qui subegit Gallias. Nicomedes non triumphat, qui subegit Caesarem. Suetonius in Julio, 49. $ Levet is a lesson on the trumpet, sounded morning and evening, Mr. Bacon says, on shipboard. It is derived from the RUOIBRAS. [Par? e. MO As well-feed lawyer on his brev’aie, When over one another’s heads They charge, three ranks at once, like Sweads :* Next pans and kettles of all keys, From trebles down to double base ; And after them upon a nag, That might pass for a fore-hand stag, A cornet rode, and on his staff, A smock display’d did proudly wave. Then bagpipes of the loudest drones, With snuffling broken-winded tones ; \Yhose blasts of air in pockets shut, Sound filthier than from the gut. And make a viler noise than swine In windy weather, when they whine. Next one upon a pair of panniers, Full fraught with that which, for good manners, Shall here be nameless, mix’d with grains, Which he dispens’d among the swains, And busily upon the crowd ^ At random round about bestow d. Then mounted on a horned horse, One bore a gauntlet and gilt spurs, Ty’d to the pommel of a long sword He held revers’d the point turn’d downward. Next after, on a raw-bon’d steed, The conqueror’s standard-bearer rid, And bore aloft before the champion A petticoat display’d, and rampant ;t N^ar whom the Amazon triumphant, Bestrid her beast, and on the rump on’t Set face to tail, and bum to bum, The warrior whilom overcome ; Arm’d with a spindle and a distaff, Which, as he rode, she made him twist off; 613 620 62J5 630 635 64C 645 French reveiller, a term used for the morning trumpet among Ll * This and the proceeding lines were added by the author in 1674. He has departed from the common method of spelling the word Swedes for the sake of rhyme: in the edition of 1689 > ter his death, it was printed Sweeds. 1 he Swedes appear to have been the first that practised firing by ^^Rmdff^^Young a time: see Sir Robert Monro’s Memoirs, and Bm iff s Young Artillery-man. Mr. Cleveland, speaking of 1 t ^ e aa ^ors of the Diurnal, says, “ They write in the^posture that the Swedes give “ fire in, over one another’s heads.” „ nf t Alluding to the terms in which heralds blazon coats of amis. Canto ii.J HUDIBRAS. 241 And when he loiter’d, o’er her shoulder Chastised the reformado soldier. Before the dame, and round about, March’d whifflers, and staffiers on foot.* 650 With lackies, grooms, valets, and pages, In fit and proper equipages ; Of whom some torches bore, some links, Before the proud virago-minx, That was both madam and a don,t 655 Like Nero’s Sporus,t or pope Joan; And at fit periods the whole rout Set up their throats with clam’rous shout. The knight transported and the squire, % Put up their weapons and their ire ; 660 And Hudibras, who us’d to ponder, On such sights with judicious wonder, Could hold no longer, to impart His animadversions, for his heart. * “ A mighty whifler.'* See Shakspeare’s Henry V. Act v. and Hanmer’s note. Vifleur, in Lord Herbert’s Henry VIII. Staffier, from estafette, a courier or express. [Mr. Douce in his Illustrations of Shakspeare, vol. i. p. 506, says : ‘ Some errors “ have crept into the remarks on this word which require correc- “ tion. It is by no means, as Hanmer had* conceived, a corrup- “ tion from the French huissier. He was apparently misled by “ the resemblance which the office of a whiffler bore in modern “ tunes to that of an usher. The term is undoubtedly borrowed “ from whiffle , another name for a fife or small flute ; for whifflers “were original ly those who preceded armies or processions as “fifers or pipers. Representations of them occur among the “ prints of the magnificent triumph of Maximilian I. In a note “on Othello, Act iii. sc. iii., Mr.Warton had supposed that “ whiffler came from what he calls ‘ the old French i nffleur ; but “ it is presumed that that language does not supply auy such “ W ord, and that the use of it in the quotation from Rymer s “ feedera is nothing more than a vitiated orthography. In pro- cess of time the term whiffler, which had always been used in “ the sense of a fflfer, came to signify any person who went be- “ fore in a procession. Minsheu, in his Dictionary, 161 r, defines “ him to be a club or staff- bearer.” „ 7 ■ , Mr. Douce has not afforded us an instance of whiffler used as a lifer- Warton carries up the use of the word as an huissier to 1554, and certainly Shakspeare could have had no idea of its piping meaning when he wrote : “ Behold, the English beach “ Pales in the flood with men, with wives, and boys, “Whose shouts and claps out-voice the deep-mouth d sea, “ Which, like a mighty whiffler ’fore the king, “ Seems to prepare his way : ” The whifflers who now attend the London companies in proces* sions are freemen carrying staves.] t A mistress and a master. % See Suetonius, in the life of Nero. 242 HUDIBRAS. tFAitr il 665 Quoth he, in all my life till now, I ne’er saw so profane a show ; It is a paganish invention, Which heathen writers often mention : And he, who made it, had read Goodwin, I warrant him, and understood him : 670 With all the Grecian Speeds and Stows,* That best describe those ancient shows ; And has observ’d all fit decorums We find describ’d by old historians :i For, as the Roman conqueror, 675 That put an end to foreign war, Ent’ring the town in triumph for it, Bore a slave with him in his chariot ;1 So this insulting female brave Carries behind her here a slave : N 680 And as the ancients long ago, When they in field defy’d the foe, Hung out their mantles della guerre, § So her proud standard-bearer here, Waves on his spear, in dreadful manner, 685 A Tyrian petticoat for banner. Next links and torches, heretofore Still borne before the emperor : * Speed and Stowe wrote chronicles or annals of England, and are well known English antiquaries. By Grecian Speeds and Stows, he means, any ancient authors who have explained the antiquities and customs of Greece : the titles of such books were often, ra irarpia , of such a district or city. Thus Dicaearchus wrote a book entitled, irspl tov rrjg *EAAa<5o? j Gfav, wherein he gave the description of Greece, and of the laws and cus- toms of the Grecians : our poet likewise might allude to Pau- sanias. t The reader will, perhaps, think this an awkward rhyme ; but the very ingenious and accurate critic, Dr. Loveday, to whom, as well as to his learned father, I cannot too often repeat my ac- knowledgments, observes in a letter with which he honored me, that in English, to a vulgar ear, unacquainted with critical dis- quisitions on sounds, m and n sound alike. So the old sayings, among the common people taken for rhyme : A stich in time Saves nine. Tread on a worm, And it will turn. Frequent instances of the propriety of this remark occur in Hu dibras ; for example : men and them, exempt and innocent. % curru servus portatur eodem. Juv. Sat. x. 42 $ Tunica coccinea solebat pridie quam dimicandum esset su pra praetorium poni, quasi admonitio et indicium futurse pugn® 4if*ius in Tacit. Canto ii.J HUDIBRAS. 243 And, as in antique triumphs, eggs Were borne for mystical intrigues ;* 690 There’s one, with truncheon, like a ladle, That carries eggs too, fresh or adle : And still at random, as he goes, Among the rabble-rout bestows. Quoth Ralpho, You mistake the matter ; 695 For all th’ antiquity you smatter Is but a riding us’d of course, When the grey mare’s the better horse ; When o’er the breeches greedy women Fight, to extend their vast dominion, 700 And in the cause impatient Grizel Has drubb’d her husband with bull’s pizzle. And brought him under covert-baron, To turn her vassal with a murrain ; When wives their sexes shift, like hares, t 705 And ride their husbands like night-mares ; And they, in mortal battle vanquish’d, Are of their charter disenfranchis’d, And by the right of war, like gills,! Condemn’d to distaff, horns, and wheels: 710 For when men by their wives are cow’d, Their horns of course are understood. Quoth Hudibras, Thou still giv’st sentence Impertinently, and against sense : * In the orgies of Bacchus, and the games of Ceres, eggs were carried and had a mystical import. See Banier, vol. i. b. ii. c. 5, and Rosinus, lib. v. c. 14. Pompa producebatur cum deorum signis et ovo. In some editions it is printed antick , and means mimic. t Many have been the vulgar errors concerning the sexes and copul ation;of hares: but they being of a very timid and modest nature, seldom couple but in the night. It is said that the doe hares have tumors in the groin, like the castor, and that the buck hares have cavities like the hyena. Besides, they are said to be retromingent, which occasioned the vulgar to make a confusion in the sexes. When huntsmen are better anatomists and philo- sophers, we shall know more of this matter. See Brown’s Vul- gar Errors, b. iii. c. 27. But our poet here chiefly means to ridi- cule Dr. Bulwer’s Artificial Changeling, p. 407, who mentions the female patriarch of Greece, and pope Joan of Rome, and likewise the boy Sporus, who was married to the emperor Nero : upon which it was justly said by some, that it had been happy for the empire, if Domitius, his father, had had none other but such a wife. See what Herodotus says concerning the men of Scythia, in his Thalia. + Gill, scortillum, a common woman: in the Scots and Irish dialect a girl ; there never was a Jack but there was a Gill. See Kelly’s Scotch Proverbs, page 316. See also Chaucer’s Miller’s Tale, and Gower, Confess. Amant. and G. Douglas’s Prologue, page 452. 244 HUDIBRAS. [Part ji. 715 ’Tis not the least disparagement To be defeated by th’ event, Nor to be beaten by main force ; That does not make a man the worse, Altho’ his shoulders, with battoon, Be claw’d, and cudgell’d to some tune ; 720 A tailor’s prentice has no hard Measure, that’s bang’d with a true yard But to turn tail, or run away, And without blows give up the day ; Or to surrender ere the assault, 725 That’s no man’s fortune, but his fault ; And renders men of honour less Than all th’ adversity of success ; And only unto such this shew Of horns and petticoats is due. 730 There is a lesser profanation, Like that the Romans call’d ovation :* * * § For as ovation was allow’d For conquest purchas’d without blood ; So men decree those lesser shows 735 For vict’ry gotten without blows, By dint of sharp hard words, which some Give battle with, and overcome ; These mounted in a chair-curule, Which moderns call a cucking stool,t 740 March proudly to the river side, And o’er the waves in triumph ride ; Like dukes of Venice, who are said The Adriatic sea to wed ;t And have a gentler wife than those 745 For whom the state decrees those shows.§ * At the greater triumph the Romans sacrificed an ox ; at the lesser a sheep. Hen-ce the name ovation. Plutarch, in the life of Marcellus, “ Ovandi, ac non triumphandi causa est, quum aut “ bella non rite indicta neque cum justo hoste gesta sunt ; aut “ hostium nomen humile et non idoneum est, ut servorum, pirata- “ rumque ; aut deditione repente facta, impulverea, ut dici solet, “ incruentaque victoria obvenit.” Aulus Gellius, v. 6. t The custom of ducking a scolding woman in the water, was common in many places. I remember to have seen a stool of this kind near the bridge at Evesham in Worcestershire, not above eight miles from Strensham, the place of our poet’s birth. The etymology of the term I know not: some suppose it should be written choking-stool, others ducking-stool, and others derive it from the French, coquine. % This ceremony is performed on Ascension-day. The doge throws a ring into the sea, and repeats the w T ords, “ Desponsa- M nvus te, mare, in signum veri et perpetui dominii.” § Than the Roman worthies, who were honored with ova- HUDIBRAS. 245 Canto ii.] But both are heathenish, and come From th’ whores of Babylon and Rome, And by the saints should be withstood As antichristian and lewd ; 750 And we, as such should now contribute Our utmost stragglings to prohibit. This said, they both advanc’d, and rode A dog-trot through the bawling crowd T’ attack the leader, and still prest 755 ’Till they approach’d him breast to breast : Then Hudibras, with face and hand, Made signs for silence which obtain’d, What means, quoth he, this devil’s procession With men of orthodox profession ? 760 ’Tis ethnique and idolatrous, From heathenism deriv’d to us. Does not the whore of Bab’lon ride Upon her horned beast astride, t Like this proud dame, who either is 765 A type of her, or she of this ? Are things of superstitious function, Fit to be us’d in gospel sun-shine ? It is an antichristian opera Much us’d in midnight times of popery ; 770 A running after self-inventions Of wicked and profane intentions ; To scandalize that sex for scolding, To whom the saints are so beholden. Women, who were our first apostles,! 775 lions. Mr. Butler intimates that the sea is less terrible than a scolding wife. * Ergo ubi commota fervet plebecula bile, Fert animus calidse fecisse silentia turbae Majestate manus. Persius, Sat. iv. 6. t See Revelation, xvii. 3. , . + The author of the Ladies’ Calling observes, in his preface, ‘ It is a memorable attestation Christ gives to the piety of women, by making them the first witnesses of his resurrection, the “ prime evangelists to proclaim these glad tidings ; and, as a “ learned man speaks, apostles to the apostles.” Some of the Scotch historians maintain, that Ireland received Christianity from a Scotch woman, who first instructed a queen there. But our poet, I suppose, alludes to the zeal which the ladies showed for the good cause. The case of Lady Monson was mentioned , above. The women and children worked with their own hands, in fortifying the city of London, and other towns. The women of the city went by companies to fill up the quarries in the great park, that they might not harbor an enemy ; and being called to- gether with a drum, marched into the park with mattocks and spades. Annals of Coventry, MS. 1643. HUDIBRAS. [Part ii 246 Without whose aid w’ had all been lost else ; Women, that left no stone unturn’d In which the cause might be concern’d ; Brought in their children’s spoons and whistles,* * * § To purchase swords, carbines, and pistols : 780 Their husbands, cullies, and sweethearts, To take the saints’ and churches’ parts ; Drew several gifted brethren in, That for the bishops would have been, And fix’d them constant to the party, 785 With motives powerful and hearty : Their husbands robb’d and made hard shifts T’ administer unto their giftst All they could rap, and rend and pilfer, To scraps and ends of gold and silver : 790 Rubb’d down the teachers, tir’d and spent With holding forth for parliament ;t Pamper’d and edify’d their zeal With marrow puddings many a meal : Enabled them, with store of meat, 795 On controverted points to eat ;§ And cramm’d them till their guts did ache With caudle, custard, and plum-cake. What have they done, or what left undone, That might advance the cause at London ? 800 March’d rank and file, with drum and ensign, T’ entrench the city for defence in : * In the reign of Richard II., A. D. 1382, Henry ie Spencer, bishop of Norwich, set up the cross, and made a collection to support the cause of the enemies of pope Clement. Collegerat dictus episcopus innumerabilem et incredibilem summam pecu- nise auri et argenti, atque jocalium, monilium, annulorum, dis- corum, peciarum, cocliarium, et aliorum ornamentorum, et prae- cipue de dominabus et aliis mulieribus. Decern Scriptores, p 1671. See also South, v. 33. t Thus, A. Cowley, in his Puritan and Papist : She that can rob her husband, to repair A budget priest that noses a long prayer. t Dr. Echard in his Works, says of the preachers of those times— “ coiners of new phrases, drawers out of long godly “ words, thick pourers out of texts of Scripture, mimical squeak- “ ers and bellowers, vain-glorious admirers only of themselves, “ and those of their own fashioned face and gesture : such as “ these shall be followed, shall have their bushels of China “ oranges, shall be solaced with all manner of cordial essences, u and shall be rubb’d down with Holland of ten shillings an ell.” § That is, to eat plentifully of such dainties, of which they would sometimes controvert the lawfulness to eat at all. See P. 1. c. i. v. 225, and the following lines. Mr. Bacon would read the last word treat. Santo il] HUDIBRAS. 247 Rais’d rampires with their own soft hands * To put the enemy to stands ; From ladies down to oyster-wenches Labour’d like pioneers in trenches, Fell to their pick-axes, and tools, And help’d the men to dig like moles? Have not the handmaids of the city Chose of their members a committee, For raising of a common purse, Out of their wages, to raise horse? And do they not as triers sit, To judge what officers are fit ? Have they— At that an egg let fly, Hit him directly o’er the eye, And running down his cheek, besmear d, With orange-tawny slime, his beard \ But beard and slime being of one hue, The wound the less appear’d in view. Then he that on the panniers rode, Let fly on th’ other side a load, And quickly charg’d again, gave fully, In Ralpho’s -face, another volley. The knight was startled with the smell, And for his sword began to feel ; And Ralpho, smother’d with the stink, Grasp’d his, when one that bore a link, O’ th’ sudden clapp’d his flaming cudgel, Like linstock, to the horse’s touch-hole ;t And straight another with his flambeau, Gave Ralpho, o’er the eyes, a damn’d blow. The beasts began to kick and fling, And forc’d the rout to make a ring ; Thro’ which they quickly broke their way, And brought them off from further fray ; And tho’ disorder’d in retreat, Each of them stoutly kept his seat : For quitting both their swords and reins, 805 810 815 820 825 830 835 * When London was expected to be attacked, and in several sieges during the civil war, the women, and even the ladies ol rank and fortune, not only encouraged the men, but worked with their own hands. Lady Middlesex, Lady Foster, Lady Anne Waller, and Mrs. Dunch, have been particularly celebrated for their activity. The knight’s learned harangue is here archly in- terrupted by the manual wit of one who hits him in the eye with a T linstock is a German word, signifying the rod of wood or iron, with a match at the end of it, used by gunners in firing cannon. See P. i. c. ii. v. 843. 248 HUDIBRAS. [Part ii They grasp’d with all their strength the manes ; 840 And, to avoid the foe’s pursuit, With spurring put their cattle to’t, And till all four were out of wind, And danger too, ne’er look’d behind. After they’ad paus’d a while, supplying 845 Their spirits, spent with fight and flying, And Hudioras recruited force Of lungs, for actions or discourse. Quoth he, That man is sure to lose That fouls his hands with dirty foes : 850 For where no honour’s to be gain’d, ’Tis thrown away in being maintain’d : ’Twas ill for us, we had to do With so dishon’rable a foe : For tho’ the law of arms doth bar 855 The use of venom’d shot in war,* Yet by the nauseous smell, and noisome, Their case-shot savours strong of poison ; And, doubtless, have been chew’d with teeth Of some that had a stinking breath ; 860 Else when we put it to the push, They had not giv’n us such a brush : But as those poltroons that fling dirt, Do but defile, but cannot hurt ; So all the honour they have won, 865 Or we have lost, is much at one. ’Twas well we made so resolute A brave retreat, without pursuit ; For if we had not, we had sped Much worse, to be in triumph led ; 870 Than which the ancients held no state Of man’s life more unfortunate. But if this bold adventure e’er Do chance to reach the widow’s ear, It may, being destin’d to assert 875 Her sex’s honour, reach her heart : And as such homely treats, they say, Portend good fortune, t so this may. Vespasian being daub’d with dirt, Was destin’d to the empire for’t ;t 880 * “ Abusive language, and fustian, are as unfair in controversy “ as poisoned arrows or chewed bullets in battle.” t The original of the coarse proverb here alluded to, was the glorious battle of Azincourt, when the English were so afflicted with the dysentery that most of them chose to fight naked from the girdle downward. £ Suetonius, in the life of Vespasian, sect, v., says, “ Cum Canto it.] HUDIBRAS. 249 And from a scavenger did come To be a mighty prince in Rome : And why may not this foul address Presage in love the same success ? Then let us straight, to cleanse our wounds, 885 Advance in quest of nearest ponds ; And after, as we first design’d, Sweai I’ve perform’d what she enjoin’d. « gedilem eum C. Caesar (i. e. Caligula) succensens, luto jussisset « onDleri, congesto per milites in praetextae sinum ; non defuerunt « qui interpretarentur, quandoque proculcatam desertamque iem- “ publicam civili aliqua perturbatione in tutelam ejus, ac velut « i n gremium deventuram.” But Dio Cassius, with all his su perstition, acknowledges that the secret meaning of the cir- cumstances was not discovered till after the event. Mr. Butler might here allude to a story which has been told of Oliver Cromwell, afterwards lord protector. When young, he was in- vited bv Sir Oliver Cromwell, his uncle hnd god-father, to a feast at Christmas ; and, indulging his love for fun, he went to the ball with his hands and clothes besmeared with excrement, to the great disgust of the company : for which the master of misrule, or master of the ceremonies as he is n° W call lei i, oi him to be ducked in the horse-pond. Memoirs of the Cromwell Family bj Mark Noble, vol. i. p. 98, and Bate’s Elench. motuum. II® FART *11. CANTO III. THE ARGUMENT. The Knight, with various doubts posscst, To win the Lady goes in quest Of Sidrophel the Rosy-crucian, To know the dest’nies’ resolution : With whom being met, they both chop logic About the science astrologic. ’Till falling from dispute to fight, The conjurer’s worsted by the Knight HUDIBRAS CANTO lit* Doubtless the pleasure is as great Of being cheated, as to cheat ;t As lookers-on feel most delight, That least perceive a juggler’s flight, And still the less they understand, The more th’ admire his slight of hand. Some with a noise, and greasy light, Are snapt, as men catch larks by night,! Ensnar’d and hamper’d by the soul, As nooses by the legs catch fowl.§ Some, with a med’cine, and receipt, Are drawn to nibble at the bait ;JJ * As the subject of this canto is the dispute between Hudibras and an astrologer, it is prefaced by some reflections on the cre- dulity of men. This exposes them to the artifices of cheats and impostors, not only when disguised under the characters of law- yers, physicians, and divines, but even in the questionable garb of wizards and fortune-tellers. . t Swift, in the Tale of a Tub, (digression on madness,) places happiness in the condition of being well deceived, and pursues the thought through several pages. Aristippus being desired to resolve a riddle, replied, that it would be absurd to resolve that which unresolved afforded so much pleasure. cui sic extorta voluptas, Et demptus per vim mentis gratissimus error. F Hor. lib. n. epist. u. 140. + This alludes to the morning and evening lectures ' which , in those times of pretended reformation and godliness, were deliv ered by candle-light, in many churches, for a -great part of the vear To maintain, and frequent these, was deemed tne great Lt evidence of religion and sanctity. The gifted preachers were very loud. The simile is taken irom the method of catching larks at night in some countries, by means of a low-bell and a hg ^ Woodcocks, and some other birds, are caught in springes. \\ Are cheated of their money by quacks and mountebanks, who boast of nostrums and infallible receipts. Even P e ^ons who ought to have more discernment are sometimes taken in by these cozeners. In later times, the admirers of animal magnet 252 HUD1J3RAS. [Part ii. And tho’ it b8 a two -foot trout, ’Tis with a single hair pull’d out.* * Others believe no voice t’ an organ 15 So sweet as lawyer’s in his bar-gown, 1 Until, with subtle cobweb-cheats, They’re catch’d in knotted law, like nets ; In which, when once they are imbrangled, The more they stir, the more they’re tangled ; 20 And while their purses can dispute, There’s no end of th’ immortal suit Others still gape t’ anticipate The cabinet designs of fate,t Apply to wizards, to foresee 25 What shall, and what shall never be ;§ And as those vultures do forebode, || Believe events prove bad or good. A flam more senseless than the roguery Of old aruspicy and aug’ry,1T 30 That out of garbages of cattle ism would probably have ranked with this order of wiseacres, and been proper objects of Mr. Butler’s satire. * That is, though it be a sensible man, and one as unlikely to be catched by a medicine and a receipt, as a trout two feet long to be pulled out by a single hair. t In the hope of promised success many are led into broils and suits, from which they are not able to extricate themselves till they are quite ruined. See Ammianus Marcellinus, lib. xxx, cap. 4, where the evil practices of the lawyers under Valens and Valentinian, are strongly and inimitably painted : happy would it be for the world, if the picture had not its likeness in modern times, but was confined to the decline of the Roman empire. t A natural desire ; but if too much indulged, a notable instance of human weakness. $ O Laertiade, quicquid dicam aut erit, aut non. Divinare etenim magnus mihi donat Apollo. Horat. Sat. lib. ii. Sat. v. v. 59. |j Vultures, birds of prey, are here put figuratively for astrolo- gers : or the word may be used equivocally, as soothsayers took their omens from eagles, vultures, ravens, and such birds. IT Aruspicy was a kind of divination by sacrifice ; by the be- havior of the beast before it was slain ; by entrails after it was opened ; or by the flames while it was burning. Augury was a divination from appearances in the heavens, from thunder, light- ning, &c., but more commonly from birds, their flight, chattering, manner of feeding, &c. Thus Ovid : Haec mihi non ovium fibrse, tonitrusve sinistri, Linguave servatee, pennave, dixit avis. Ovid. Trist. lib. i. eleg. viii. 49. Mirari se ajebat M. Cato, quod non rideret haruspex, harus picem cumvidisset. Tullius de Divinat. ii. 24; et de Natura Deorum i. 26. HUDIBRAS. 253 Canto hi ] Presag’d th’ events of truce or battle ; From flight of birds, or chickens pecking, Success of great’st attempts would reckon : Tho’ cheats, yet more intelligible Than those that with the stars do fribble. This Hudibras by proof found true, As in due time and place we’ll shew : For he, with beard and face made clean, Being mounted on his steed again, And Ralpho got a cock-horse too, Upon his beast, with much ado, Advanc’d on for the widow’s house, T’ acquit himself, and pay his vows ; When various thoughts began to bustle, And with his inward man to justle. He thought what danger might accrue, If she should find he swore untrue : Or if his squire or he should fail, And not be punctual in their tale, It might at once the ruin prove Both of his honour, faith, and love But if he should forbear to go, She might conclude he’ad broke his vow ; And that he durst not now, for shame, Appear in court to try his claim. This was the penn’worth of his thought, To pass time, and uneasy trot. Quoth he, In all my past adventures I ne’er was set so on the tenters, Or taken tardy with dilemma, That, ev’ry way I turn, does hem me, And with inextricable doubt, Besets my puzzled wits about : For though the dame has been my bail, To free me from enchanted jail, Yet, as a dog committed close For some offence, by chance breaks loose, And quits his clog ; but all in vain, He still draws after him his chain :* 35 40 45 50 55 60 65 70 * Persius applies this simile to the case of a person who is well inclined, but cannot resolve to be uniformly virtuous. Nec tu, cum obstiteris semel, instantique negaris Parere imperio, rupi jam vincula, dicas : Nam et luctata canis nodum arripit ; attamen illi, Cum fugit, a collo trahitur pars longa catenae. Sat. V. v. 157. 254 HUDIBRAS. [Part n So tho’ my ancle s le as quitted, My heart continues still committed ; And like a bail’d and mainpriz’d lover,* * * * § Altho’ at large, I am bound over : And when I shall appear in court 7 5 To plead my cause, and answer for’t, Unless the judge do partial prove, What will become of me and love ? For if in our accounts we vary, Or but in circumstance miscarry ; 80 Or if she put me to strict proof, And make me pull my doublet off, To shew, by evident record, Writ on my skin, I’ve kept my word. How can I e’er expect to have her, 85 Having demurr’d unto her favour ? But faith, and love, and honour lost, Shall be reduc’d t’ a knight o’ th’ post :t Beside, that stripping may prevent What I’m to prove by argument, 90 And justify I have a tail, And that way, too, my proof may fail. Oh ! that I could enucleate , t And solve the problems of my fate ; Or find, by necromantic art,§ 95 How far the dest’nies take my part ; Yet triumph not ; say not, my bands are broke. And I no more go subject to the yoke ; Alas ! the struggling dog breaks loose in vain, Whose neck still drags along a trailing length of chain. Brewster. Petrarch has applied this simile to love, as well as our au- thor. * Mainprized signifies one delivered by the judge into the cus tody of such as shall undertake to see him forthcoming at the day appointed. f This is, one who in court, or before a magistrate, will swear as he hath been previously directed. I nave somewhere read that such persons formerly plied about the portico in the Temple, and from thence were called knights of the post ; and knights, perhaps, from the knights templars being buried in the adjoining church. [A hireling evidence : a knight dubbed at the whipping- post, or pillory. Johnson’s Dictionary by Todd.] t Explain, or open ; an expression taken from the cracking of a nut. § Necromancy, or the black art, as it is vulgarly called, is the faculty of revealing future events, from consultation with de- mons, or with departed spirits. It is called the black art, be- cause the ignorant writers of the middle age, mistaking the etymology, write it nigromantia: or because the devil was paint- ed black. HUDIBRAS. 255 Canto iii.] For if I were not more than certain To win and wear her, and her fortune, I’d go no farther in this courtship, To hazard soul, estate and worship : For tho’ an oath obliges not, Where any thing is to be got,* As thou hast prov’d, yet ’tis profane, And sinful, when men swear in vain. Quoth Ralph, Not far from hence doth dwell A cunning man, hight Sidrophel,t That deals in destiny’s dark counsels, And sage opinions of the moon sells , t To whom all people far and near, On deep importances repair : When brass and pewter hap to stray, And linen slinks out of the way ; When geese and pulien are seduc’d, § And sows of sucking pigs are chows’d ; When cattle feel indisposition, And need the opinion of physician ; When murrain reigns in hogs or sheep, And chickens languish of the pip ; When yeast and outward means do fail, And have no pow’r to work on ale ; When butter does refuse to come,|| And love proves cross and humoursome ; 100 105 110 115 120 * The notions of the dissenters with regard to this, and other points of a like nature, are stated more at large in some prece- ding cantos. „ , , . t Some have thought that the character of Sidrophel was in- tended for Sir Paul Neal ; but the author, probably, here meant it for William Lilly, the famous astrologer and almanac maker, who at times sided with the parliament. He was consulted by the royalists, with the king’s privity, whether the king should escape from Hampton-court, whether he should sign the propo- sitions of the parliament, &c., and had twenty pounds for his opinion. See the life of A. Wood, Oxford, 1772, pp. 101, 102, and Iris own life, in which are many curious particulars. Till the king's affairs declined he was a cavalier, but after the year 164o he engaged body and soul in the cause of the parliament : he was one of the close committee to consult about the king s exe- cution. At the latter end of his life he resided at Hersham, in the parish of Walton-upon-Thames, practised physic, and went often to Kingston to attend his patients. But probably the most profitable trade of Dee, Kelly, Lilly, and others of that class, was that of spies, which they were for any country or party that employed them. Hight , that is called, from the A. S. hatan, to call. „ , % i. e. the omens which he collects from the appearance of the moon. Pullen, that is, poultry. . When a country wench, says Mr. Selden in his Table lalk, 256 HUDIBRAS. [Part n To him with questions, and with urine, They for discov’ry flock, or curing. Quoth Hudibras, This Sidrophel 125 I’ve heard of, and shou’d like it well, If thou canst prove the saints have freedom To go to sorc’rers when they need ’em.* * * * § Says Ralpho, There’s no doubt of that ; Those principles I’ve quoted late, 130 Prove that the godly may allege For any thing their privilege, And to the devil himself may go, If they have motives thereunto : For as there is a war between 135 The dev’l and them, it is no sin If they, by subtle stratagem, t Make use of him, as he does them. Has not this present pari’ ament A ledger to the devil sent,! 140 Fully empower’d to treat about Finding revolted witches out?§ And has not he, within a year, Hang’d threescore of ’em in one shire ?|j Some only for not being drown’d, 145 And some for sitting above ground, Whole days and nights upon their breeches, Not feeling pain, were hang’d for witches ; And some for putting knavish tricks Upon green geese and turkey-chicks, 150 Or pigs, that suddenly deceast, Of griefs unnat’ral, as he guest ; cannot get her butter to come, she says the witch is in the churn. * It was a question much agitated about the year 1570, Utrum liceat homini christiano sortiariorum oper& et auxilio uti. t Dolus an Virtus, quis in hoste requirat ? t That is, an ambassador. The person meant was Hopkins, the noted witch-finder for the associated counties. § That is, revolted from the parliament. j| It is incredible what a number of poor, sick, and decrepit wretches were put to death, under the pretence of their being witches. Hopkins occasioned threescore to be hung in one year, in the county of Suffolk. See Dr. Hutchinson, p. 59. Dr. Grey says, he has seen an account of between three and four thousand that suffered, in the king’s dominions, from the year 1640 to the king’s restoration. “ In December, 1649,” says Whitelock, “ many “witches were apprehended. The witch-trier taking a pin, and “ thrusting it into the skin in many parts of their bodies ; if they “ were insensible of it, it was a circumstance of proof against “ them. October, 1652, sixty were accused : much malice, little “ proof : though they were tortured many ways to make them “ confess.” Canto in.] HUDIBRAS. Who after prov’d himself a witch, And made a rod for his own breech * * * § Did not the dev’l appear to Martin Luther in Germany for certain ?+ And wou’d have gull’d him with a trick, But Mart was too, too politick Did he not help the Dutch to purge, At Antwerp, their cathedral church Sing catches to the saints at Mascon,§ And tell them all they came to ask him ? Appear in divers shapes to Kelly, || And speak i’ th’ nun of Loudon’s belly 257 155 160 * Dr. Hutchinson, in his Historical Essay on Witchcraft, page 66, tells us, “ that the country, tired of the cruelties committed by “Hopkins, tried him by his own system. They tied his thumbs “ and toes, as he used to do others, and threw him into the water ; “ when he swam like the rest.” t Luther, in his book de Missa privata, says he was persuaded to preach against the mass by reasons suggested to him by the devil, in a disputation. Melchior Adamus says the devil appear- ed to Luther in his own garden, in the shape of a black boar. And the Colloquia mensalia relate, that when Luther was in his chamber, in the castle at Wurtsburgh, the devil cracked some nuts which he had in a box upon the bed-post, tumbled empty barrels down stairs, &c. + In the beginning of the civil war in Flanders, the common people at Antwerp broke open the cathedral church, and destroy- ed the ornaments. Strada, in his book de Bello Belgico, says, that “ several devils were seen to assist them ; without whose “ aid it would have been impossible, in so short a time, to have “ done so much mischief.” § Mascon is a town in Burgundy, where an unclean devil, as he was called, played his pranks in the house of Mr. Perreand a refonned minister, ann. 1612. Sometimes he sang psalms at others bawdy verses. Mr. Perreand published a circumstantial account of him in French, which at the request of Mr. Boyle, who had heard the matter attested by Perreand himself, was translated into English by Dr. Peter de Moulin. The poet calls them saints, because they were of the Geneva persuasion. II See Notes to lines 235-7-8. It may be proper to observe, that the persons here instanced had made more than ordinary preten- sions to sanctity, or bore some near relation to religion. On this circumstance Ralpho founds his argument for the lawfulness of the practice, that saints may converse with the devil. Dr. La- saubon informs us that Dee, who was associated with Kelly, em- ployed himself in prayer and other acts of devotion, before he entered upon his conversation with spirits. “ Oratione dommicft “ finita, et mora aliqua interposita, et aliquot ex psalteno piecibus IT Sir Kenelm Digby, in his Treatise on the Sympathetic Pow- der, says, “ I could make a notable recital of such passions that “happened to the nuns at Loudon; but having done it in a par- ticular discourse, at my return from that country, in which 1 “as exactly as I could, discussed the point, I will forbear speak- “ i n g thereof at this time.” Grandier, the curate of London, was ordered to be burned alive, A. D. 1634, by a set of judges com- missioned and influenced by Richelieu ; and the prioress, with HUDIBRAS. 258 [Part Meet with the pari’ ament’s committee, At Woodstock, on a pers’nal treaty At Sarum take a cavalier, t F th’ cause’s service, prisoner? As Withers, in immortal rhyme, Has register’d to after- time. Do not our great reformers use This Sidrophel to forebode news To write of victories next year, And castles taken, yet i’ th’ air ? Of battles fought at sea, and ships Sunk, two years hence, the last eclipse half the nuns in the convent, were obliged to own themselves bewitched. The prioress declared, that when the devil who had possessed her had quitted her body, an angel impressed upon her hand the words Jesus Maria Joseph F de Salis. Mr. Moconnois made her a long visit, and she show T ed him the letters. He scratched off a part of them, and supposed them to have been made with blood and starch. Grandier was a handsome man, and very eloquent. Such magic had fascinated the prioress, and subjected the nuns to their violent ardors. See Bayle’s Dic- tionary, Art. Grandier ; and Dr. Hutchinson’s Historical Essay on Witchcraft, p. 36. * Dr. Plot, in his History of Oxfordshire, ch. viii., tells us how the devil, or some evil spirit, disturbed the commissioners at Woodstock, whither they went to value the crown lands, Octo ber, 1649.* * A personal treaty was very much desired by the king, and often pressed and petitioned for by great part of the na- tion. The poet insinuates, that though the parliament refused to hold a personal treaty with the king, yet they scrupled not to hold one with the devil at Woodstock. [Readers, of all ages and classes of the present day, are familiar with the devil’s pranks at Woodstock, through the agency of that great and fascinating magician Walter Scott, who, following the mighty Shakspeare, makes poetry and romance the two entertaining substitutes for the more “ honest” chronicles of history. He has also introduced us to the Lescus of line 238 in his romance of Kenilworth.] t Withers has a long story, in doggerel verse, of a soldier of the king’s army, who being a prisoner at Salisbury, and drinking a health to the devil upon his knees, was carried away by him through a single pane of glass. X Lilly, Booker, Culpepper, and others, were employed to fore- tel victories on the side of the parliament. Lilly was a time- serving rascal, who hesitated at no means of getting money. See his life, written by himself. $ Suppose we read since the last eclipse, or suppose we point it thus : Sunk two years since the last eclipse : Lilly grounded lying predictions on that event. Dr. Grey says his reputation was lost upon the false prognostic on the eclipso * See the Just Devil of Woodstock, or a true narrative of the several Appari- tions, the Frights and Punishments inflicted upon the rumpish Commissioner^, by Thomas Widows, master of the free school at Northleach, Gloucestershire, It was not printed till 1660, though the date put to it is 1649. See Bishop of re* tei borough’s Register and Chronicle 165 170 175 HUDIBRAS. 259 Canto in.] A total o’erthrow giv’n the king In Cornwall, horse and foot, next spring ?* And has not he point-blank foretold Whats’e’er the close committee would ? Made Mars and Saturn for the cause, t The Moon for fundamental laws, The Ram, the Bull, the Goat, declare Against the book of common prayer? The Scorpion take the protestation, And Bear engage for reformation ; Made all the royal stars recant, Compound, and take the covenant ?t Quoth Hudibras, The case is clear The saints may ’mploy a conjurer, As thou hast proved it by their practice ; No argument like matter of fact is : And we are best of all led to Men’s principles, by what they do. Then let us strait advance in quest Of this profound gymnosophist,§ And as the fates and he advise, Pursue, or wave this enterprise. This said, he turn’d about his steed, And eftsoons on t.h’ adventure rid : Where leave we him and Ralph awhile, And to the Conj’rer turn our style, 186 *85 190 195 200 that was to happen on the 29th of March, 1652, commonly called Black Monday, in which his predictions not being fully answer- ed, Mr. Heath observes, (Chronicle, p. 210 ‘ That he was re- garded no more for the future, than one of his own worthless ^^IUsfcertain ^ parliament> in their reports of victories, neither observed time or place. Cleveland, in his character of a London diurnal, p. 113, says of Lord Stamford : This cubit and half of a commander, by the help of a diurnal, routed the enem es fifty miles off.” The subject here is not false reports, but false predictions : the direct contrary happened to what is here said , the king overthrew the parliamentarians m Cornwall. t Made the planets and constellations side with the parlia- ment; or, as bishop Warburton observes, the planets and signs here recapitulated may signify the several leaders of the parlia- mentary army — Essex, Fairfax, and others. + The author here evidently alludes to Charles, elector pala- tine of the Rhine, and to king Charles the Second, who both took The^ymnosophists were a sect of philosophers in India, so called from their going naked. They were much reacted for their profound knowledge; and held in the same estimation among their countrymen as theChaldaei among theAssynans, the Magi among the Persians, and the Druids among the Gauls and Britons 260 HUDIBRAS. [Part il To let our reader understand What’s useful of him beforehand. He had been long t’ wards mathematics, 205 Optics, philosophy, and statics, Magic, horoscopy, astrology, And was old dog at physiology ; But as a dog, that turns the spit,* * * § ** Bestirs himself and plies his feet 210 To climb the wheel, but all in vain, His own weight brings him down again ; And still he’s in the self-same place Where at his setting out he was : So in the circle of the arts 215 Did he advance his nat’ral parts, Till falling back still, for retreat, He fell to juggle, cant, and cheat :+ For as those fowls that live in water Are never wet, he did but smatter ; 220 Whate’er he labour’d to appear, His understanding still was clear ;t Yet none a deeper knowledge boasted, Since old Hodge Bacon, and Bob Grosted.§ Th’ intelligible world he knew,|| 225 And all men dream on’t to be true, That in this world there’s not a wart * Mr. Prior’s simile seems to have been suggested by this pas- sage : r Dear Thomas, didst thou never see (’Tis but by way of simile) A squirrel spend his little rage In jumping round a rolling cage ? But here or there, turn wood or wire, He never gets two inches higher. So fares it with those merry blades That frisk it under Pindus’ shades. t The account here given of William Lilly agrees exactly with his life written by himself. t Clear, that is, empty. § Roger Bacon, a Franciscan friar, flourished in the thirteenth century. His penetration in most branches of philosophy was the wonder of the age. Bayle says he wrote a hundred books, many of them upon astronomy, geometry, and medicine. Robert Grosted, or Grossa Testa, lived nearly at the same time with Bacon. He wrote some treatises on astronomy and mathemat- ics ; but his works were chiefly theological. Several books were translated by him from the Greek language ; which if any un- derstood in that age, he was sure, as Erasmus says, to be taken for a conjuror. || The intelligible world is spoken of, by some persons, as the model or prototype of the visible world. See P. i. c. i. v. 535. and note. Canto iii.] HUDIBRAS. That has not there a counterpart ; Nor can there, on the face of ground, An individual beard be found That has not in that foreign nation, A fellow of the self-same fashion ; So cut, so colour’d, and so curl’d, As those are in th’ inferior world. He’ad read Dee’s prefaces before The devil and Euclid o’er and o’er f And all th’ intrigues ’twixt him and Kelly, Lescus and th’ emperor, wou’d tell ye:t But with the moon was more familiar 261 230 235 * Dr. John Dee, a Welshman, was admitted tojthe degree of M. A. and had a testimonial from the university of Cambridge in 15*48. He was presented by Edward VI. to the living of Upton upon Severn, in Worcestershire, in the year 1552, when John Harley was made bishop of Hereford. He gamed great fame at the time of Elizabeth and James I., by his knowledge in ma .hematics , Tvcho Brahe gives him the title of prcestantissimus mathemati- cus ; and Camden calls him nobilis mathematics. He wrote a preface to Euclid, and to Billingsley’s Geometry, Emstola pr«- fixa Ephemeridi Johannis Felde, 1557; Epistola ad Commandi num prcefixa libello de superficiorum divisionibus, 157°, and perhaps in the whole not less than fifty treatises. He began early to have the reputation of a conjuror; of which he griev- ously complains in his preface to Euclid. This report, md his pretended transactions with spirits, gave the poet occasion to call it Dee’s preface before the devil. . - t Kelly was born at Worcester, and bred to the business of an apothecary there, about the year 1555. Sometimes he is called Talbot. He was a famous alchymist, and Dee s assistant, his seer or skryer, as he calls him. Uriel, one of their chief spirits, was the promoter of this connection. Soon after a learned Po- Ionian, Albert Alaski, prince of Sirad, whom Mr. calls Lescus, came into England, formed an acquaintance with Dee and Kelly, and, when he left this country, took them and their families with him into Poland. Next to Kelly, Be was the gieat- est confidant of Dee in his secret transactions. Camden speaks of this Lescus in his Annals, 1583. “ E Polonia Russise vicina, “ hac state venit in Angliani Albertus Aiasco P ai atmus Simdi- “ensis vir eruditus, barba promisissima, &c. *rom Poland, Dee and Kelly, after some time, removed to Prague. They were entertained by the emperor Rodolph II., disclosed to him some of their chymical secrets, and showed him the wonderful stone The emperor, in return, treated them with great respect. Kellj was knighted by him, but afterwards imprisoned , and he died in 1587. Dee had received some advantageous offers, it is said, from the king of France, the emperor of Muscovy, and several foreign princes. Perhaps he had given them some specimens V T his service in the capacity of a spy. However, he returned k> England, and died very poor, at Mortlake in Surrey, in the year 1G08, aged 81. wou'd tell ye .—In the author s edition it is printed, “ would not tell ye.” To raise the £eateropmion of his knowledge, he would pretend to make a secret of things which he did not understand. 262 HUDIBRA8. [Part ii, 240 Than e’er was almanac well-wilier ;* Her secrets understood so clear, That some believ’d he had been there ; Knew when she was in fittest mood For cutting corns, or letting blood ;+ When for anointing scabs and itches, 245 Or to the bum applying leeches ; When sows and bitches may be spay’d, And in what sign best cider’s made ; Whether the wane be, or increase, Best to set garlic, or sow pease ; 250 Who first found out the man i’ th’ moon, That to the ancients was unknown ; How many dukes, and earls, and peers, Are in the planetary spheres, Their airy empire, and command, 255 Their sev’ral strengths by sea and land ; What factions they’ve, and what they drive at In public vogue, or what in private ; With what designs and interests Each party manages contests. 260 He made an instrument to know If the moon shine at full, or no ; That would, as soon as e’er she shone, straight Whether ’twere day or night demonstrate ; Tell what her d’ameter to an inch is, 265 And prove that she’s not made of green cheese. It wou’d demonstrate, that the man in The moon’s a sea mediterranean ;f And that it is no dog nor bitch That stands behind him at his breech, 270 * The almanac makers styled themselves well-willers to the mathematics, or philomaths. t Respecting these and other matters mentioned in the fol lowing lines, Lilly and the old almanac makers gave particulai directions. It appears from various calendars still preserved, not to mention the works of Hesiod, and the apotelesms of Ma- netho, Maximus, and Julius Firmicus, that astrologers among the Greeks and Romans conceived some planetary hours to be especially favorable to the operations of husbandry and physic. X The light of the sun being unequally reflected, and some parts of the moon appearing more fully illuminated than others, on the supposition of the moon’s being a terraqueous globe, it is thought that the brighter parts are land, and the darker water This instrument, therefore, would give a more distinct view of those dusky figures, which had vulgarly been called the man in the moon, and discover them to be branches of the sea. In the Se- lenography of Florentius Langrenus Johannes Hevelius, and others, the dark parts are distinguished by the names of mare crisium, mare serenitatis, oceanus procellarum. &c. Canto iiiJ HUDIBRAS. But a huge Caspian sea or lake, With arms, which men for legs mistake ; How large a gulph his tail composes, And what a goodly bay his nose is^ How many German leagues by th’ scale, Cape snout’s from promontory tail. He made a planetary gin, Which rats would run their own heads ill, And come on purpose to be taken Without th’ expence of cheese or bacon ; With lute -strings he would counterfeit Maggots, that crawl on dish of meat j* Quote moles and spots on any place O’ th’ body, by the index face ;+ Detect lost maidenheads by sneezing,! Or breaking wind of dames, or pissing ; Cure warts and corns, with application Of med’cines to th’ imagination ; Fright agues into dogs, and scare, With rhymes, the tooth-ach and catarrh ;§ Chase evil spirits away by dint 263 275 280 285 290 * The small strings of a fiddle or lute, cut into short pieces, and strewed upon warm meat, will contract, and appear like live m +^“°Some physiognomers have conceited the head of man to “ be the model of the whole body ; so that any mark there will « have a corresponding one on some part of the body. bee Ll t Democritus is said to have pronounced more nicely on the maid servant of Hippocrates. “ Puetaque vitium solo aspectu “ deDrehendit.” Yet the eyes of Democritus were scarcely more acute and subtle than the ears of Albertus Magnus: “nec minus “ vocis mutationem ob eandem fere causam : quo tantum signo “ ferunt Albertum Magnum, ex museo suo, puellam, ex vinopoho “ vinum pro hero deportanlem, in itinere vitiatam fuisse depre- «< hendisse : qubd, in reditu subinde, cantantis ex acuta ir grayi- H orem mutatam vocem agnovisset.” Gasper a Reies, in elysio jucund. question. campo. Lilly professed this art, and said no woman, that he found a maid, ever twitted him with his being Butler seems to have raked together many of the baits for human credulity which his reading could furnish, or he had ever heard mentioned. These charms for tooth-ache and coiighs were wall known to the common people a few years since. The word abracadabra, for fevers, is as old as Sammomcus. Haut haut hista pista vista, were recommended for a sprain by Cato. [Cato prodidit luxatis membris carmen auxiliary. Flm. Hist. ax xxviii.] Homer relates, that the sons of Autolycus stopped thn bleeding of Ulysses's wound by a charm, bee Odyss xix. 457, and Barnes’ Notes and Scholia: evaotSjj «3* (ilfia KBAaivbv v Eo , %£0ov. HUDIBRAS. [Part & Of sickle, horseshoe, hollow flint ;* * * § Spit fire out of a walnut-shell, Which made the Roman slaves rebel ;1 And fire a mine in China here, 295 With sympathetic gunpowder. He knew whats’ever’s to be known, But much more than he knew would own. What med’cine ’twas that Paracelsus Could make a man with, as he tells us ;+ 30© What figur’d slates are best to make, On wat’ry surface duck or drake ;§ What bowling-stones, in running race Upon a board, have swiftest pace ; Whether a pulse beat in the black 305 List of a dappled louse’s back ;|j * These concave implements, particularly tbe horse-shoe, we have often seen nailed to the threshold of doors in the country, in order to chase away evil spirits. f Lucius Florus, Livy, and other historians, give the following account of the origin of the servile war. There was a great number of slaves in Sicily, and one of them, a Syrian, called Eunus, encouraged his companions, at the order of the gods, as he said, to free themselves by arms. He filled a nutshell with fire and sulphur, and holding it in his mouth, breathed out fiames, when he spoke to them, in proof of his divine commission. By this deception he mustered more than 40,000 persons. f That philosopher, and others, thought that man might be generated without connection of the sexes. See this idea ridi- culed by Rabelais, lib. ii. ch. 27. “ Et celeberrimus Athanasius “ Kircherus, libro secundo mundi subterranei prseclare et solidis “ rationibus, refutavit stultitiam nugatoris Paracelsi, qui (de gen- “ erat. rerum naturalium, lib. i.) copiose admodum docere voluit “ridiculam methodum generandi homunciones in vasis chemi- “ corum.” P. 38, Franc. Redi de generat. insectorum. The poet probably had in view Bulwer’s Artificial Changeling, who at page 490, gives a full account of this matter, both from Paracel- sus and others. § The poet, by mentioning this play of children, means to in- timate that Sidrophel was a smatterer in natural philosophy, knew something of the laws of motion and gravity, though all he arrived at was but childish play, no better than making ducks and drakes. I) See Sparrmann’s Voyage to the Cape of Good Hope, vol. ii. p. 291. It was the fashion with the wits of our author’s time to ridicule the transactions of the Royal Society. Mr. Butler here indulges his vein by bantering their microscopic discoveries. At present every one must be inclined to adopt the sentiment of Co vley : Mischief and true dishonor fall on those Who would to laughter or to scorn expose So virtuous and so noble a design, So human for its use, for knowledge so divine. The things which these proud men despise, and call Impertinent, and vain, and small, Canto in.] HUDIBRAS, 265 If systole or diastole move Quickest when he’s in wrath, or love ;* * When two of them do run a race, Whether they gallop, trot, or pace ; How many scores, a flee will jump, Of his own length, from head to rump,t Which Socrates and Chaerephon In vain assay’d so long agone ; Whether his snout a perfect nose is, And not an elephant’s proboscis ;t How many diff’rent specieses Of maggots breed in rotten cheeses ; And which are next of kin to those Engendered in a chandler’s nose ; Or those not seen, but understood, That live in vinegar and wood.§ A paltry wretch he had, half starv’d, Those smallest things of nature let me know, Rather than all their greatest actions do ! The learned and ingenious Bishop Hurd delivers his opinion «: this passage in two lines from Pope : But sense survived when merry jests were past, For rising merit will buoy up at last. * Systole the contraction, and diastole the dilatation, of the n&art, are motions of that organ by means of which the circula- tion of the blood is effected. The passions of the mind have a sensible influence on the animal economy. Some of them, fear and sorrow, chill the blood and retard its progress. Other pas- sions, and especially anger and love, accelerate its motion, and cause the pulse to beat with additional strength and quickness. | Aristophanes, in his comedy of the Clouds, Act i. sc. 2, in troduces a scholar of Socrates describing the method in which Socrates, and his friend Chaerephon, endeavored to ascertain how many lengths of his own feet a flea will jump .— (pvWav bndaovs fcWoiro rovg ahrrjg irdSag, quot pedes suos pulex salta- ret. They did not measure, as our author says, by the length of the body ; they dipped the feet of the flea in melted wax, which presently hardened into shoes ; these they took off, and meas- ured the leap of the flea with them. It is probable that this representation had been received with pleasure by the enemies of Socrates. In the banquet of Xenophon the subject is taken up by one of the company : dXX’ elite /rot, irdcovs xpvAAa ir6das iuov air i v«. ravra yap ae (pad yewixerpelv — and is dismissed by Socrates with a kind of cooi contempt. Plato somewhere alludes to the same jest. A flea had jumped from the forehead of Chfe- rephon to the head of Socrates, which introduced the inquiry. X Microscopic inquirers tell us that a flea has a proboscis, somewhat like that of an elephant, but not quite so large. i The pungency of vinegar is said, by some, to arise from the bites of animalcules which are contained in it. For these dis- coveries see Hook’s micographical observations. 265 HUDIBRAS. [Pabpt n. That him in place of Zany serv’d,* Hight Whachum, bred to dash and draw, Not wine, but more unwholesome law ; To make ’twixt words and lines huge gaps,t Wide as meridians in maps ; To squander paper, and spare ink, Or cheat men of their words, some think From this by merited degrees He’d to more high advancement rise,- To be an under-conjurer, Or journeyman astrologer : His bus’ness was to pump and wheedle, And men with their own keys unriddle ;t To make them to themselves give answers, For which they pay the necromancers ; To fetch and carry intelligence Of whom, and what, and where, and whence, And all discoveries disperse Among th’ whole pack of conjurers ; What cut -purses have left with them r For the right owners to redeem, And what they dare not vent, find out, To gain themselves and th’ art repute ; Draw figures, schemes, and horoscopes, * A Zany is a buffoon, or Merry Andrew, designed to assist the quack, as the ballad-singer does the cut-purse or pickpocket. Some have supposed this character of Whachum to have been intended for one Tom Jones, a foolish Welshman. Others think it was meant for Richard Green, who published a pamphlet en- titled “ Hudibras in a snare.” The word zany is derived by some from the Greek cavvas , a fool, r^avvog ; (see Eustath. ad. Odyss. xxii. and Meursii Glossar. Graeco-barb.,) by others from the Venetian Zani, abbreviated from giovanni. t As the way of lawyers is in their bills and answers in chan eery, where they are paid so much a sheet. % Menckenius, in his book de Charlataneria Eruditorum, ed Amst. 1747, p. 192, tells this story : Jactabat empiricus quidam, se ex solo urinae aspectu non solum de morbis omnibus, sed et de illorum causis, quaecunque demum illae fuerint. sive natura, sive sors tulisset, certissime cognoscere ; interim ille ita instruxerat servulos suos, ut callide homines ad se accedentes explorarent, et de his, quae comperta haberent, clam ad se referrent. — Acce dit mulier paupercula cum lotio mariti, quo vix viso, maritus tuus, inquit, per scalas domus infausto casu decidit. Turn ilia admirabunda, istudne, ait, ex urina intelligis 1 Imo vero, inquit empiricus, et nisi me omnia fallunt, per quindecim scalae gradus delapsus est. At cum ilia, utique viginti se numerasse referret, hie velut indignatus quaerit : num omnem secum urinam attulis- set : atque, ilia negante, quod vasculum materiam omnem non caperet : itaque, ait, effudisti cum urina quinque gradus illos, qui mihi ad numerum deerant.— I wonder this story escaped Dr, Grey 325 330 335 340 34o HUDIBRAS. Canto iii.] 267 Of Newgate, Bridewell, brokers’ shops, Of thieves ascendant in the cart,* And find out all by rules of art : Which way a serving-man, that’s run With clothes or money away, is gone ; Who pick’d a fob at holding-forth, And where a watch, for half the worth, May be redeem’d ; or stolen plate Restor’d at conscionable rate. Beside all this, he serv’d his master In quality of poetaster, And rhymes appropriate could make To ev’ry month i’ th’ almanack ; When terms begin, and end, could tell, With their returns, in doggerel ; When the exchequer opes and shuts, And sowgelder with safety cuts ; When men may eat and drink their fill, And when be temp’rate, if they will ; When use, and when abstain from vice, Figs, grapes, phlebotomy, and spice. And as in prisons mean rogues beat Hemp for the service of the great, t So Whachum beat his dirty brains T’ advance his master’s fame and gains, And like the devil’s oracles, Put into dogg’rel rhymes his spells, t Which, over ev’ry month’s blank page I’ th 1 almanack, strange bilks presage.§ He would an elegy compose On maggots squeez’d out of his nose ; In lyric numbers write an ode on His mistress, eating a black-pudding ; And, when imprison’d air escaped her, It puft him with poetic rapture : His sonnets charm’d th’ attentive crowd, By wide-mouth’d mortal troll’d aloud, That, circled with his long-ear’d guests, 350 355 360 365 370 375 380 385 * Ascendant, a term in astrology, is here equivocal, t Petty rogues in Bridewell pound hemp ; and it may happen that the produce of their labor is employed in halters, m which greater criminals are hanged. „ ± Plutarch has a whole treatise to discuss the question, why Apollo had ceased to deliver his oracles in verse : which brings on an incidental inquiry why his language was often bad, and lus Gothic WO rd, signifying a cheat or fraud : it signi- fies likewise to baulk or disappoint 268 HUDIBRAS. [Part n Like Orpheus, lock’d among the beasts : A carman’s horse could not pass by, But stood ty’d up to poetry : No porter’s burden pass’d along, But serv’d for burden to his Song : 39€ Each window like a pill’ry appears, With heads thrust tliro’ nail’d by the ears ; All trades run in as to the sight Of monsters, or their dear delight, The gallow-tree,* * * § when cutting purse 395 Breeds bus’ness for heroic verse, Which none does hear, but would have hung T’ have been the theme of such a song.t Those two together long had liv’d, In mansion, prudently contriv’d, 400 Where neither tree nor house could bar The free detection of a star ; And nigh an ancient obelisk Was rais’d by him, found out by Fisk, On which was written not in words, 405 But hieroglyphic mute of birds , X Many rare pithy saws, concerning^ The worth of astrologic learning : * Thus Cleveland, in his poem entitled the Rebel Scot : A Scot when from the gallow-tree got loose, Drops into Styx, and turns a Soland goose, f The author perhaps recollected some lines in Sir John Den ham’s poem on the trial and death of the earl of Stratford : Such was his force of eloquence, to make The hearers more concern’d than he that spake ; Each seem’d to act that part he came to see, And none was more a looker on than he ; So did he move our passions, some were known To wish, for the defence, the crime their own. When Mars and Venus were surprised in Vulcan’s net, and the deities were assembled to see them, Ovid says : aliquis de dis non tristibus optet Sic fieri turpis Metamorpli. lib. iv. 187. } Fisk was a quack physician and astrologer of that time, and an acquaintance of William Lilly, the almanac maker and prog noslicator. “ In the year 1663,” says Lilly in his own life, “ I “ became acquainted with Nicholas Fisk, licentiate in physic, “ born in Suffolk, fit for, but not sent to, the university. Study- ing at home astrology and physic, which he afterwards prac- “ tised at Colchester He had a pension from the parliament; and during the civil war, and the whole of the usurpation, prog nosticated on that side. [Mute. The dung of birds. Todd in his edition of Johnson, with this passage quoted.] § Pithy, that is, nervous, witty, full of sense and meaning, like a nmvnrh Saw that is, say, or saying, from A. S. Douglas Canto hi.] HUDIBRAS. 269 From top of this there hung a rope, To which he fasten’d telescope ;* 410 The spectacles with which the stars He reads in smallest characters. It happened as a boy, one night. Did fly his tarsel of a kite,t The strangest long-wing’d hawk that flies 415 That, like a bird of Paradise, Or herald’s martlet, has no legs,* Nor hatches young ones, nor lays eggs ; His train was six yards long, milk white, At th’ end of which there hung a light, 42c Enclos’d in lanthorn made of papery applies it to any saying, (p. 143, v. 52,) and once in a bad sense to indecent language : Nu rist with sleath, and many unseemly saw Q,uhare schame is loist. P* v * 15 * * Refracting telescopes were formerly so constructed as to re~ nuire such an awkward apparatus. Hugenius invented a teles- coDe without a tube. The object glass was fixed to a long pole, and its axis directed towards any object by a ed down from the glass above to the eye-glass below. He pre sented to the Royal Society an object glass of one hundred and twenty-three feet focal distance, with an apparatus belonging to it, which he had made himself. It is described in his Astroco- pia compendiaria tubi optici molimme hberata, Hague, 1684. ^ t Tiersel or tiercelet, as the French call the male hawk, which is less in the body by a third part than the female, from whence it hath tile name/ Lord Bacon says it is stronger and m rTh°e U bhd°of S V\?adtse,"e Pica Parana of Linnteus The manucodiata of Edwards and Ray. The Portuguese first saw them in Gilolo, Papua, and New Guinea : many idle fables have been propagated concerning these birds, among which are to be reckoned, that they have no feet, pass their lives in the Sr and feed ok That element: but it is found that the feet are cut off that the birds may dry the better, and the scapular feath ers prevent their sitting on trees in windy weather. Natural- ists ^describe many species, but the Paradissea apodo,. or greater b ird of Pa adise is generally about two feet in length. See La- ^r»ed they are kept in’ a cage in the Sultan’s garden, an ‘ l ar ®. lyKpea P ns to havl no legs. . Lord Bacon has ^followng “ bird^^f^aradi^that'thmy have in the^ndtes, that have no « feet and therefore never light upon any place, but the wind u carries them away. And such a thing I take this mniour to “ be.” Pliny, in his Natura History, has a chapter de Apodibu^ lib. x. ch. 39. HUDIBRAS. [Part & 270 That fai off like a star did appear : This Sidrophel by chance espy’d, And with amazement staring wide : Bless us, quoth he, what dreadful wonder Is that appears in heaven yonder ? A comet, and without a beard ! Or star, that ne’er before appear’d ! I’m certain ’tis not in the scrowl Of all those beasts, and fish, and fowl,* With which, like Indian plantations, The learned stock the constellations Nor those that, drawn for signs, have been To th’ houses where the planets inn.t It must be supernatural, Unless it be that cannon-ball That, shot i’ the air, point-blank upright, Was borne to that prodigious height, That, learn’d philosophers maintain. It ne’er came backwards down again, § But in the airy regions yet Hangs, like the body o’ Mahomet :|j 42.1 430 435 440 * Astronomers, for the help of their memory, and to avoid giving names to every star in particular, have divided them into constellations oi companies, which they have distinguished by the names of several beasts, birds, fishes, &c., as they fall with- in the compass which the forms of these creatures reach to. Butler, in his Genuine Remains, vol. i. page 9, says : Since from the greatest to the least, All other stars and constellations Have cattle of all sorts of nations. This distribution of the stars is very ancient. Tully mentions it from Aratus, in nearly the same terms which are used in our astronomical tables. The divisions are called houses by the as- trologers. . _ , , t Cosmographers, in their descriptions of the world, when they found many vast places, whereof they knew nothing, are used to fill the same with an account of Indian plantations, strange birds, beasts, &c. So historians and poets, says Plutarch, embroider and intermix the tales of ancient times with fictions and fabulous discoveries. . f Signs, a pun between signs for public houses, and signs or constellations in the heavens. Aratus and Eratosthenes— The Catasterismoi of the latter, printed at the end of Fell’s Aratus, are nearly as old as Aratus himself. See also Hall’s Virgidemi- arum, book ii. Sat. vii. v. 29. & Some foreign philosophers directed a cannon against the zenith ; and, having fired it, could not find where the ball fell < from whence it was conjectured to have stuck in the moon Dss Cartes imagined that the ball remained in the air, || The improbable story of Mahomet’s body being suspended in an iron chest, between two great loadstones, is refuted by Mr Rand vs and Dr. Prideaux. Canto iii.] iiudibras. For if it be above the shade, That by the earth’s round bulk is made, ’Tis probable it may from far, Appear no bullet, but a star. This said, he to his engine flew, Plac’d near at hand, in open view, And rais’d it, till it levell’d right Against the glow-worm tail ot kite , Then peeping thro’, Bless us ! quoth he, It is a planet now I see ; And, if I err not, by his proper Figure, that’s like tobacco-stopper, t It should be Saturn : yes, ’tis clear ’Tis Saturn ; but what makes him there * He’s got between the Dragon s tail, And farther leg behind o’ th Whale Pray heav’n divert the fatal omen, For ’tis a prodigy not common. And can no less than the world s end, Or nature’s funeral, portend. With that, he fell again to pry Thro’ perspective more wistfully, _ When, by mischance, the fatal string, That kept the tow’ring fowl on wing. Breaking, down fell the star. Well shot. Quoth Whachum, who right wisely thought He’ ad levell’d at a star, and hit it ; But Sidrophel, more subtle-witted, Cry’d out, What horrible and fearful Portent is this, to see a star fall ! It threatens nature, and the doom Will not be long before it come . 271 445 450 455 460 465 470 are very various and , ’ e meaning of such irregular- SSSsEs^a EfSHii ssw — • feeifuto l°eg. th Su e s ,1 om t e 0 oi ; d gTotes'ihe v4a1fk Ltibed with legs. 272 HUDIBRMS. [Part n. When stars do fall, ’tis plain enough 475 The day of judgment’s not far off ; As lately ’twas reveal’d to Sedgwick,* And some of us find out by magick ; Then, since the time we have to live In this world’s shorten’d, let us strive 48(8 To make our best advantage of it, And pay our losses with our profit. This feat fell out not long before The Knight, upon the forenam’d score. In quest of Sidrophel advancing, 485 Was now in prospect of the mansion ; Whom he discov’ring, turn’d his glass, And found far off ’twas Hudibras. Whachum, quoth he, Look yonder, some To try or use our art are come : 490 The one’s the learned Knight ; seek out, And pump ’em what they come about. Whachum advanc’d, with all submiss’ness T’ accost ’em, but much more their business : He held the stirrup, while the Knight 495 From leathern bare-bones did alight ; And, taking from his hand the bridle, Approach’d the dark Squire to unriddle. He gave him first the time o’ th’ day,+ And welcom’d him, as he might say : 500 He ask’d him whence they came, and whither Their business lay ? Quoth Ralpho, Hither. Did you not lose ?f — Quoth Ralpho, Nay. Quoth Whachum, Sir, I meant your way ? Your Knight — Quoth Ralpho, Is a lover, 505 And pains intol’rable doth suffer ; For lovers’ hearts are not their own hearts, Nor lights, nor lungs, and so forth downwards. * Will. Sedgwick was a whimsical fanatic preacher, settled by the parliament in the city of Ely. He pretended much to reve- lations, and was called the apostle of the Isle of Ely. He gave out that the approach of the day of judgment had been disclosed to him in a vision : and going to the house of Sir Francis Russel, in Cambridgeshire, where he found several gentlemen, he warned them all to prepare themselves, for the day of judgment would be some day in the next week, t He bade him good evening : see line 540. X He supposes they came to inquire after something stolen or strayed ; the usual case with people when they apply to the cunning man. In these lines we must observe the artfulness of Whachum, who pumps the squire concerning the knight’s busi- ness, and afterwards relates it to Sidrophel in the presence of ¥oth of them. Canto iii.] hudibras. What time?— Quoth Ralpho, Sir, too long, Three years it off and on has hung Quoth he, I meant what time o th day t.s. Quoth Ralpho, between seven and eight tis, Why then, quoth Whachum, my small art Tells me the Dame has a hard heart, Or great estate. Quoth Ralph, A jointure, Which makes him have so hot a mmd t her. Mean-while the Knight was making water, Before he fell upon the matter : Which having done, the Wizard steps in, To give him a suitable reception ; But kept his business at a bay, Till Whachum put him in the way ; Who having now, by Ralpho’s light. Expounded th’ errand of the Knight, And what he came to know, drew near, To whisper in the Conj’rer’s < sar. Which he prevented thus : What was t, Quoth he, that I was saying last, Before these gentlemen arriv d . Quoth Whachum, Venus you retnev d, In opposition with Mars, And no benign and friendly stars T’ allay the effect.t Quoth Wizaid, So • In Virgo ? ha ! Quoth Whachum, No .t Has Saturn nothing to do m it ;§ One tenth of ’s circle to a minute . ’Tis well, quoth he— Sir you 11 excuse This rudeness I am forc’d to use ; It is a scheme, and face of heaven, As th’ aspects are dispos d this even, 273 510 515 520 525 530 535 540 sssiriarafefs': small hopes of success- t Is his mistress a virgin 1 JNo. wizard bv these § Saturn, Kpdvog, wasthegoo ^ • had ' been carried on. words inquires how l° n g the lo ®J, le tQ a miimt e, or three Whachum replies, onetenth s w hich Saturn finishes and r a » ye »Tch the knight’s cent.- shi p had been pending. HUDIBRAS. [Part a. 274 I was contemplating upon When you arriv’d ; but now I’ve done. Quoth Hudibras, If I appear Unseasonable in coming here At such a time, to interrupt 545 Your speculations, which I hop’d Assistance from, and come to use, ’Tis fit that I ask your excuse. By no means, Sir, quoth Sidrophel, The stars your coming did foretel ; 550 I did expect you here, and knew, Before you spake, your business too.* Quoth Hudibras, Make that appear, And I shall credit whatsoe’er You tell me after, on your word, 555 Howe’er unlikely, or absurd. You are in love, Sir, with a widow, Quoth he, that does not greatly heed you, And for three years has rid your wit And passion, without drawing bit ; 560 And now your business is to know If you shall carry her, or no. Quoth Hudibras, You’re in the right, But how the devil you come by’t I can’t imagine ; for the stars, 565 I’m sure, can tell no more than a horse : Nor can their aspects, tho’ you pore Your eyes out on ’em, tell you more Than th’ oracle of sieve and sheers, t That turns as certain as the spheres : 570 But if the Devil’s of your counsel, Much may be done, my noble donzel ;t * In some editions we read, Know before you speak. f “Put a paire of sheeres in the rim of a sieve, and let two “ persons set the tip of each of their forefingers upon the upper “ part of the sheers, holding it with the sieve up from the ground “ steddilie, and ask Peter and Paul whether A. B. or C. hath “ stolne the .hing lost, and at the nomination of the guilty per- “ son the sieve will turn round.” Scot’s Discovery of Witchcraft, book xii. ch. xvii. p. 262. The K0ffKiv6p.avTis, or diviner by a sieve, is mentioned by Theocritus Idyll, iii. 31 The Greek prac- tice differed very little from that which has been stated above. They tied a thread to the sieve, or fixed it to a pair of shears, which they held between two fingers. After addressing them- selves to the gods, they repeated the names of the suspected persons ; and he, at whose name the sieve turned round, was adjudged guilty. Potter’s Gr. Antiq. vol. i. p. 352. J A sneering kind of appellation : donzel being a diminutive from don. Butler says, in his character of a squire of Dames, C>nto iii.J HUD1BRAS. 275 And ’tis on this account I come, To know from you my fatal doom. Quoth Sidrophel, If you suppose, Sir Knight, that I am one of those, I might suspect and take the alarm, Your business is but to inform:* But if it be, ’tis ne’er the near, You have a wrong sow by the ear ; For I assure you, for my part, I only deal by rules of art ; Such as are lawful, and judge by Conclusions of astrology ; But for the devil ; know nothing by him, But only this, that I defy him. Quoth he, Whatever others deem ye, I understand your metonymy ;+ Your words of second-hand intention,? When things by wrongful names you mention ; 575 580 585 590 / i •• « q 7 > ^nst conjm«m ; witches, &c. See the e ”^ e fr^'king James to Simon vol. XVI. p. 666, is a T . entitle( i De Pardonatio- Read, for practismg the Mack art. It Conjuratione cacodaemo- ron y fiS^,^ a ?Metonym^Tature of speech, whereby the cause is put ass-*. — s jects. 276 HUDIBRAS. r PART n The mystic sense of all your terms, That are indeed but magic charms To raise the devil, and mean one thing, And that is downright conjuring ; And in itself more warrantable* * * § 595 Than cheat or canting to a rabble, Or putting tricks upon the moon, Which by confed’racy are done. Your ancient conjurers were wont To make her from her sphere dismount,! 600 And to their incantations stoop ; They scorn’d to pore thro’ telescope. Or idly play at bo-peep with her, To find out cloudy or fair weather, Which ev’ry almanac can tell 605 Perhaps as learnedly and well As you yourself— Then, friend, I doubt You go the furthest way about : Your modern Indian magician Makes but a hole in th’ earth to piss in, I 610 And straight resolves all questions by’t, And seldom fails to be i’ th’ right. The Rosy-crucian way’s more sure To bring the devil to the lure ; Each of ’em has a several gin, 615 To catch intelligences in.§ Some by the nose, with fumes, trepan ’em, As Dunstan did the devil’s grannam.|| * The knight has no faith in astrology ; but wishes th*? conju- rer to own plainly that he deals with the devil, and then he will hope for some satisfaction from him. To show what may be done in this way, he recounts the great achievements of sorcer- ers. t So the witch Canidia boasts of herself in Horace : Polo Deripere lunam vocibus possim meis. The ancients frequently introduced this fiction. See Virgil, Eclogue viii. 69. Ovid’s Metamorphoses, vii; 207. Propertius, 1/uok i. elegy i. 19, and Tibullus, book i. elegy ii. 44. t “The king presently called to his Bongi to clear the air; the conjuror immediately made a hole in the ground, wherein he urined.” Le Blanc’s Travels, p. 98. The ancient Zabii used to dig a hole in the earth, and fill it with blood, as the means of forming a correspondence with demons, and obtaining their fa- vor. § To secure demons or spirits. II The chymists and alehymists. In the Remains of Butler, vol. ii. p. 235, \ve read : “ These spirits they use to catch by the noses with fumigations, as St. Dunstan did the devil, by a pair of tongs.” The story of St. Dunstan taking the devil by the nose with a pair of hot pincers, has been frequenily related. St. Dunstan lived Canto hi.] HUDIBRAS. Others with characters and words Catch 'em, as men in nets do birds ;* * And some with symbols, signs, and tricks, Engrav’d in planetary nicks, t With their own influences will fetch ’em^ Down from their orbs, arrest, and catch ’em ;t Make ’em depose, and answer to All questions, e’er they let them go. Bombastus kept a devil’s bird Shut in the pummel of his sword, § That taught him all the cunning pranks Of past and future mountebanks. Kelly did all his feats upon The devil’s looking glass, a stone, |] 277 620 625 630 in the tenth century : was a great admirer and proficient in the polite arts, particularly painting and sculpture. As he was very attentively in his cell engraving a gold cup, the devil tempted him in the shape of a beautiful woman. The saint, perceiving in the spirit who it was, took up a red hot pair of tongs, and catching hold of the devil by the nose, made him howl in such a terrible manner as to be heard all over the neighborhood. * By repetition of magical sounds and words, properly called en +*By figures and signatures described according to astrological symmetry ; that is, certain conjunctions or oppositions with the planets and aspects of the stars. j Carmina vel coelo possunt deducere lunam. $ Bombastus de Hohenheim, called also Aurelius Philippus, and Theophrastus, but more generally known by the name of Paracelsus, was son of William Hohenheim, and author, or rath- er restorer, of chymical pharmacy. He ventured upon a free administering of mercury and laudanum ; and performed cures, which, in those days of ignorance, were deemed supernatural. He entertained some whimsical notions concerning the antedilu- vian form of man, and man’s generation. Mr. Butler’s note on this passage is in the following words : Paracelsus is said to “ have kept a small devil prisoner in the pummel of his sword ; “ which was the reason, perhaps, why he was so valiant in his “ drink. However, it was to better purpose than Hannibal carried ‘‘ poison in his sword, to dispatch himself if he should happen to “ be surprised in any great extremity : for the sword would have « dom the feat alone much better and more soldier-like. And it “ was below the honor of so great a commander to go out of the Vd?. Dee had a stone, which he called his angelical stone, pretending that it was brought to him 'by an angel: and by "a “spirit it was, sure enough,” says Dr. M. Casaubon. We find Dee himself telling the emperor “ that the angels of God had “ brought to him a stone of that value, that no earthly kingdom “ is of that worthiness, as to be compared to the virtue or digni- “ tv thereof.”* It was large, round, and very transparent ; a-nd persons who were qualified for the sight of it, were to perceive various shapes and figures, either represented m it as in a look- * See CasauWs relation of what passed between Dr. Dee and some spirit* printed at London, 1659. 278 HUDILRAS. [Part fl Where, playing with him at bo-peep, He solv’d all problems ne’er so deep. Agrippa kept a Stygian pug, 635 I* th’ garb and habit of a dog,* ing-glass, or standing upon it as on a pedestal. This stone is now in the possession of the very learned and ingenious earl of Or- ford, at Strawberry-hill.* It appears to be a volcanic produc- tion, of the species vulgarly called the black Iceland agate, which is a perfectly vitrified lava ; and according to Bergman’s analysis, contains of siliceous earth sixty-nine parts in a hun- dred ; argillaceous twenty-two parts and martial nine. See Berg. Opusc. vol. iii. p. 240, and Letters from Iceland, lett. 25. The la- pis obsidianus of the ancients is supposed to have been of this species : a stone, according to Pliny, “quern in ^Ethiopia invenit “ Obsidius, nigerrimi coloris aliquando et translucidi, crassiore “ visit, atque in speculis parietum pro imagine umbras reddente.” Plin. Nat. Hist. lib. xxxvi. cap. 26. The same kind of stone is found also in South America ; and called by the Spaniards, from its color, piedra de galiinaco. The poet might term it the devil’s looking-glass, from the use which Dee and Kelly made of it ; and because it has been the common practice of conjurers to answer the inquiries of persons, by representations shown to them in a looking-glass. Dr. M. Casaubon quotes a passage to this purpose from a manuscript of Roger Bacon, inscribed De dictis et factis falsorum mathematicorum et daemonum. “ The “ demons sometimes appear to them really, sometimes imaginari- “ ly in basins and polished things, and shew them whatever “ they desire. Boys, looking upon these surfaces, see by imagi- “ nation, things that have been stolen ; to what places they have “ been carried ; what persons took them away: and the like.” In the proemium of Joach. Camerarius to Plutarch De Oraculis, we are told that a gentleman of Nurimberg had a crystal which had this singular virtue, viz., if anyone desired to know any thing past or future, let a young man, castuin, or who was not of age, look into it ; he would first see a man, so and so apparelled, and afterwards what he desired. We meet with a similar story in Heylin’s History of the Reformation, part iii. The earl of Hert- ford, brother to queen Jane Seymour, having formerly been em- ployed in France, acquainted himself there with a learned man, who was supposed to have great skill in magic. To this person, by rewards and importunities, he applied for information concern- ing his affairs at home ; and his impertinent curiosity was so far gratified, that by the help of some magical perspective, he beheld a gentleman in a more familiar posture with his wife than was consistent with the honor of either party. To this diabolical illusion he is said to have given so much credit, that he not only estranged himself from her society at his return, but furnished a second wife with an excellent reason for urging the disin- herison of his former children. The ancients had also the A idonavrda. * “ As Paracelsus had a devil confined in the pummel of his “ sword, so Agrippa had one tied to his dog’s collar,” says Eras- tus. It is probable that the collar had some strange unintelligi- ble characters engraven upon it. Mr. Butler hath a note on * The authenticity and identity of this stone cannot be doubted, as its de- scent is more clearly proved than that of Agamemnon’s sceptre. It was specified in the catalogue of the earl of Peterborough, at Drayton- thence fell to lady Betty Germaine, who gave it to the Duke of Argyle, and his son lord Frederick Campbell to lord Orford. HUDIBRAS. 279 Canto iii.] That was his tutor, and the cur Read to th’ occult philosopher,* And taught him subt’ly to maintain All other sciences are vain.t To this, quoth Sidrophello, Sir, Agrippa was no conjurer,t Nor Paracelsus, no, nor Behmen ; Nor was the dog a caco-daemon, But a true dog that would shew tricks For th’ emp’ror, and leap o’er sticks ; Would fetch and carry, was more civil Than other dogs, but yet no devil ; And whatsoe’er he’s said to do, He went the self-same way we go. As for the Rosy-cross philosophers, Whom you will have to be but sorcerers, What they pretend to is no more Than Trismegistus did before, § Pythagoras, old Zoroaster, |1 640 645 C50 655 these lines in the following words : Cornelius Agrippa had la ■« do 2 that was suspected to be a spirit, for some tricks he was ‘^ont to do beyond the capacity of a dog. But the author of « Magia Adamica has taken a great deal of pains to vindicate “both the doctor and the dog from that aspersion; mwi “he has shown a very great respect and kindness tor them < main tained that the several parts of the umversewere the works a supreme intelligent being, and consequently did notallowthe sun and moon to be gods. On this f ^"^^hvTerSes Plu- impiety, and thrown into prison ; but released by Pericles.^ Blu tarch in Nicia : “ Are they not dreams of human vanity, says Montaigne, “ to make the moon a celestial earth there *° “mountains and vales as Anaxagoras did. And see Plutarch de Placitis philosophorum, Piog. Laert. and Plato de legibus. Th. 284 HLDIBRAS. [Part n. And held the sun was but a piece Of red hot iron as big as Greece ;* * 740 Believ’d the heav’ns were made of stone, Because the sun had voided one ;i And, rather than he would recant Th’ opinion, suffer’d banishment. But what, alas ! is it to us, 745 Whether i’ th’ moon, men thus or thus Do eat their porridge, cut their corns, Or whether they have tails or horns ? What trade from thence can you advance, But what we nearer have from France ? 750 What can our travellers bring home, That is not to be learnt at Rome ? What politics, or strange opinions, That are not in our own dominions ? What science can be brought from thence, 755 In which we do not here commence ? What revelations, or religions, That are not in our native regions ? Are sweating-lanterns, or screen-fans, t poet might probably have Bishop Wilkins in view, Avho main- tained that the moon was an habitable world, and proposed schemes for flying there. Speaking of Anaxagoras, Monsieur Chevreau say 3 : “We “may easily excuse the ill humour of one who was seldom of the opinion of others : who maintained that snow was black, because it was made of water, which is black ; who took the heavens to be an arch of stone, which rolled about continual- .. y the moon a piece of inflamed earth; and the sun (which is about 434 limes bigger than the earth) for a plate of red-hot steel, of the bigness of Peloponnesus.” * [Ouroj eXeys rbv rjXiov nvSpov sTvai dianvoov, Kal rfjs HeXoirovvrioov . Diog. Laert. 1. ii. $ 8.] In Mr. Butler’s Remains we read : For th’ ancients only took it for a piece Of red hot iron, as big as Peloponese. Rudis antiquitas, Homerum secuta, ccelum credidit esse fer- reum. Sed Homerus a coloris similitudine ferreum dixit, non a pondere. f Anaxagoras had foretold that a large stone would fall from heaven, and it was supposed afterwards to have been found, near the river ^Egos, Laert. ii. 10, and Plutarch in Lysandro, who dis- cusses the matter at length. Mr. Costard explains this prediction to mean the approach of a comet ; and we learn from the testi- mony of Aristotle, and others, that a comet appeared at that juncture, Olymp. lxxviii. 2. See Aristot. Meteor. The fall of the stone is recorded in the Arundel marbles. , * ^ ese interns, as the poet calls them, were boxes, wherein the whoie body was placed, together with a lamp. They were used, by quacks, in the venereal disease, or to bring on perspira- HUDIBRAS. 285 760 Canto iii.] Made better there than they’re in France? Or do they teach to sing and play O’ th’ guitar there a newer way ? Can they make plays there, that shall fit The public humour with less wit ? Write wittier dances, quainter shows, Or fight with more ingenious blows ? Or does the man i’ th’ moon look big, And wear a huger periwig, Shew in his gait, or face, more tricks Than our own native lunaticks ?* * But, if w’ outdo him here at home, What good of your design can come ? As wind, i’ th’ hypocondres pent,t Is but a blast, if downward sent j But if it upward chance to fly, Becomes new light and prophecy ;t So when our speculations tend Above their just and useful end, Altho’ they promise strange and great Discoveries of things far fet, They are but idle dreams and fancies, And savor strongly of the ganzas.§ 765 770 775 780 tion. See Swift’s Works, vol. vi. Pethox the Great, v. 56. Hawkesworth’s edition. Screen fans are used to shade the eves from the fire, and commonly hang by the side of the chim- ney : sometimes ladies carried them along with them : they were made of leather, or paper, or feathers. I have a picture of Miss Ireton, who married Richard Walsh, of Abberley, in Worcestershire, with a curious feathered fan in her hand. * These and the foregoing lines were a satire upon the gait, dress and carriage of the fops and beaux of those days. f in the belly, under the short ribs. These lines are thus turned into Latin by Dr. Harmer : Sic hypocondriacis inclusa meatibus aura Desinet in crepitum, si fertur prona per alvum ; Sed si summa peiat, mentisque invaserit arcem Divinus furor est, et conscia flamma futuri. t New light was the phrase at that time for any new opinion In religion, ar A is frequently alluded to by our poet ; the P.hrase, I am told, prevails still in New England, as it does now in the north of Ireland, where the dissenters are chiefly divi ted into two sects, usually styled the old and the new lights. Th® old lights are such as rigidly adhere to the old Galvinistic doctrine , and the new lights are those who have adopted the more mod- ern latitudinarian opinions: these are frequently averse and hostile to each other, as their predecessors the Presbyterians and Independents were in the time of Butler. . , $ Godwin, afterwards bishop of Hereford, wrote in his youth a kind of astronomical romance, under the feigned name ot a Spaniard, Domingo Gonzales, and entitled it the Man m th HUDIBRAS. t Part ii» 286 Tell me but what’s the natural cause Why on a sign no painter draws The full moon ever, but the half ? 785 Resolve that with your Jacob’s staff ;* * * * § Or why wolves raise a hubbub at her, And dogs howl when she shines in water 1 And I shall freely give my vote, You may know something more remote. 700 At this, deep Sidrophel look’d wise* And staring round with owl-like eyes, He put his face into a posture Of sapience, and began to bluster : For having three times shook his head 795 To stir his wit up, thus he said : Art has no mortal enemies, Next ignorance, but owls and geese :+ Those consecrated geese, in orders, That to the capitol were warders, t 800 And being then upon patrol, With noise alone beat off the Gaul ; Or those Athenian sceptic owls, That will not credit their own souls, § Moon, or a Discourse on a Voyage thither. It gives an account of his being drawn up to the moon in a light vehicle, by certain birds called ganzas. And the knight censures the pretensions of Sidrophel, by comparing them with this wild expedition. The poet likewise might intend to banter some projects of the learned Bishop Wilkins, one of the first promoters of the Royal Society. At this institution and its favorers, many a writer of that day has shot his bolt — telum imbelle sine ictu. * A mathematical instrument for taking the heights and dis- tances of stars. t “ Et quod vulgo aiunt, artem non habere inimicum nisi ig- norantem.” Sprat thought it necessary to write many pages to show that natural philosophy was not likely to subvert our gov- ernment, or our religirn : and that experimental knowledge had no tendency to make men either bad subjects or bad Christians. See Sprat’s History of the Royal Society. X Our ancestors called the garrison of a castle or fortress its warders ; hence our word guardian. Lands lying near many of the old castles were held by the tenure of castle-ward, the pos- sessors being obliged to find so many men for the ward or guard of the castle. This was afterwards commuted into pecuniary payments, with which the governors hired mercenary soldiers or warders : the warders of the Tower of London still preserve the old appellation. § Incredulous persons. He calls them owls on account of their pretensions to great depth of learning, the owl being used as an emblem of wisdom ; and Athenian, because that bird was sacred to Minerva, the protectress of Athens, and was borne on the standards of the city. Heralds say, noctua signum est sapi- entiae : for she retires in the day, and avoids the tumult of the Canto w.j HUDIBRAS. 387 Or any science understand, Beyond the reach of eye or hand ; But measuring all things by their own Knowledge, hold nothing’s to be known : Those wholesale critics, that in coffee- Houses cry down all philosophy, And will not know upon what ground In nature we our doctrine found, Altho’ with pregnant evidence We can demonstrate it to sense, As I just now have done to you, Foretelling what you came to know. Were the stars only made to light Robbers and burglarers by night ?* * To wait on drunkards, thieves, gold-finders, And lovers solacing behind doors ? Or giving one another pledges Of matrimony under hedges ? Or witches simpling, and on gibbets Cutting from malefactors snippets ?+ Or from the pill’ry tips of ears Of rebel -saints and perjurers ? 805 810 815 820 825 world, like a man employed in study and contemplation. Since the owl, however, is usually considered as a moping, drowsy bird, the poet intimates that the knowledge of these skeptics is obscure, confused, and indigested. The meaning of the whole Dassage is this ' There are two sorts of men who are great ene- mies to the advancement of science. The first, bigoted divines, upon hearing of any new discovery in nature, apprehend an at- tack upon religion, and proclaim loudly that the capital, 1 . e. the faith of the church, is in danger. The others are self-sufficient philosophers, who laydown arbitrary principles, and reject every truth which does not coincide with them. * The poets thought the stars were not made only to light robbers. See the beautiful address to Hesperus : "Eenrcps, ras iparag %puffcov (paog ’A (ppoyeveiag, &c. r Brunk. rjag OVK £TTl <[) ’AAA’ ipaWj &c. Bion. ii. 392. Brunk, An. vol. i. Mosch. Idyl. vii. ac cording to the Oxford edit, of Bion and Moschus. E typ. Clar. 1748. Sidrophel argues, that so many luminous bodies could never have been constructed for the sole purpose ot affording a little light, in the absence of the sun. His reasoning does not con- tribute much to the support of astrology ; but it seems to favor the notion of a plurality of worlds. f Collecting herbs, and other requisites, for their enchant- ments. See Shakspeare’s Macbeth, Act. iv. 288 HUDIBRAS. [Part a Only to stand by, and look on, But not know what is said or done ? Is there a constellation there That was not born and bred up here ?# 836 And therefore cannot be to learn In any inferior concern ? Were they not, during all their lives, Most of ’em pirates, whores, and thieves? And is it like they have not still, 835 In their old practices, some skill ? Is there a planet that by birth Does not derive its house from earth ? And therefore probably must know What is, and hath been done below ? 840 Who made the Balance, or whence came The Bull, the Lion, and the Ram ? Did not we here the Argo rig, Make Berenice’s periwig ?+ Whose liv’ry does the coachman wear ? 845 Or who made Cassiopeia’s chair ? And therefore, as they came from hence, With us may hold intelligence. Plato deny’d the world can be Govern’d without geometry,! 850 For money b’ing the common scale Of things by measure, weight and tale, In all th’ affairs of church and state, ’Tis both the balance and the weight : Then much less can it be without 855 Divine astrology made out, That puts the other down in worth, As far as heaven’s above earth. * Astronomers, both ancient and modern, have divided the heavens into certain figures, representing animals and other ob jects. Eratosthenes, the scholiast on Aratus, and Julius Hy ginus, mention the reasons which determined men to the choice of these particular figures. See Sir Isaac Newton’s Chronology of the Greeks, p. 83. t The constellation called coma Berenices. Berenice, the wife of Ptolemy Euergetes, king of Egypt, in consequence of a vow, cut off and dedicated some of her beautiful hair to Venus, on the return of her husband from a military expedition. And Conan, the mathematician, paid her a handsome compliment, by forming the constellation of this name. Callimachus wrote a poem to celebrate her affection and piety : a translation of it by Catullus is still preserved in the works of that author. t Plato, out of fondness for geometry, has employed it in all his systems. He used to say that the Deity did y£ 0 )//srpav, play the geometrician; that is, do everything by weight and measure. Canto iii.] HUDIBRAS. These reasons, quoth the Knight, I grant Are something more significant Than any that the learned use Upon this subject to produce ; And yet they’re far from satisfactory, T’ establish and keep up your factory Th’ Egyptians say, the sun has twice* Shifted his setting and his rise ; Twice has he risen in the west, As many times set in the east ; But whether that be true or no, The devil any of you know. Some hold, the heavens, like a top, Are kept by circulation up,t And were ’t not for their wheeling round, 289 860 864 870 * The Egyptian priests informed Herodotus that, in the space of 11340 years, the sun had four times risen and set out of its usual course, rising twice where it now sets, and setting twice where it now rises — hda re vvv Karaoverai , tvOtvrev dig enetv- riiXaC koX evdev , &c. Herodotus, Euterpe, seu lib. li. 142. A learned person supposes this account to be a corrupt tradition of the miraculous stop, or recession of the sun, in th e t inies ot Joshua and Hezekiah. Others suppose that what the pnests told him for a chronical, was mistaken by Herodotus for an as- tronomical phenomenon ; and that the particulars, which he ha recorded in the words tvQa and ivdevTev, related only to the time of the day or year, and not to the place or quarter of the heav- ens The Egyptian year consisted of no more than 360 days , and therefore the day in their calendar, which was once the summer solstice, would in 730 years become their winter solstice , and, in 1461 years, it would come to their summer solstice again. This Censorinus tells us was really the case. So that the tour revolutions would happen in a much shorter time than the priests had assigned for them. Dr. Long explodes the whole for an idle story, invented by the Egyptians to support their vain pretensions to antiquity; and fit to pass only among persons who have no knowledge* of astronomy. Indeed no others would believe that the cardinal points were entirely changed, or the rotation ot the sarth inverted. See Spenser, Fairy Queen, b. v. c. i. stanz. t 7 ind 8, &c. And if to those Egyptian wisards old (Which in star -read were wont have best insight) Faith may be given, it is by them told That since the time they first tooke the Sunnes hight, Four times his place he shifted hath in sight, And twice hath risen where he now doth west, And wested twice where he ought rise aright. t It is mentioned as the opinion of Anaxagoras, that the whole heaven, which was composed of stone, was kept up by violent circumrotation, but would fall when the rapidity of that motion should be remitted. Some do Anaxagoras the honor to suppose, that this conceit of his gave the first hint Inwards the modern explication of the planetary motions, 13 HUDIBRAS. 290 They’d instantly fall to the ground : As sage Empedocles of old, And from him modem authors hold. Plato believ’d the sun and moon Below all other planets run.* * * § Some Mercury, some Venus seat Above the Sun himself in height. The learned Scaliger complain’d ’Gainst what Copernicus maintain’d, t That in twelve hundred years, and odd, The Sun had left his ancient road, And nearer to the Earth is come, ’Bove fifty thousand miles from home Swore ’twas a most notorious flam, And he that had so little shame To vent such fopperies abroad, Deserv’d to have his rump well claw’d : Which Monsieur Bodin hearing, swore, That he deserv’d the rod much more,t That durst upon a truth give doom, He knew less than the pope of Rome. Cardan believ’d great states depend Upon the tip o’ th’ Bear’s tail’s end ;§ [Part il 875 880 885 890 895 * The knight further argues, that there can be no foundation of truth in astrology, since the learned differ so much about the planets themselves, from which astrologers chiefly draw their predictions. “ Plato solem et lunam caeteris planetis inferiores esse putavit.” t Copernicus thought that the eccentricity of the sun, or the obliquity of the ecliptic, had been diminished by many parts since the times of Ptolemy and Hipparchus. On which Scaliger observed, Copernici scripta spongiis, vel autorem scuticis dignum — that the writings of Copernicus deserved a sponge, or their au thor a rod. t Bodin, an eminent geographer and lawyer, was born at An. gers, in France, and died of the plague a t Laon, 1596, aged 67. According to his opinion, it has been clearly proved by Coperni- cus, Reinholdus, Stadius, and other famous mathematicians, that the circle of the earth has approached nearer to the sun than it was formerly. § Cardan, a famous physician of Milan, was born at Padua, 1501. He conceived the influences of the several stars to be ap- propriated to particular countries. The fate of the greatest king- doms in Europe, he said, was determined by the tail of Ursa Ma- jor. This great astrologer foretolfl the time of his own death. But when the appointed day drew near, he found himself in per- fect health, at the seventy-fifth year of his age ; and resolved to starve himself, lest he should bring disgrace on his favorite sci- ence. Thuanus gives the character which Scaliger had drawn of him : in certain things he appeared superior to human under- standing, and in a great many others inferior to that of little chil dren. See Bayle’s Dictionary, Art. Cardan. KUDIBRAS. 291 Canto hi.] That as she whisk’d it t’ wards the Sun, Strow’d mighty empires up and down ; Which others say must needs be false, Because your true bears have no tails. 900 Some say, the zodiac constellations Have long since chang’d their antique stations* * * § Above a sign, and prove the same In Taurus now, once in the Ram ; Affirm’d the Trigons chopp’d and chang’d, 905 The wat’ry with the fiery rang’d ;+ Then how can their effects still hold To be the same they were of old ? This, though the art were true, would make Our modern soothsayers mistake, t 91 ft And is one cause they tell more lies, In figures and nativities, Than th’ old Chaldean conjurers, In so many hundred thousand years ;§ Beside their nonsense in translating, 915 For want of accidence and latin ; Like Idus and Calendre englisht The quarter days, by skilful linguist ;|| * The knight, still further to lessen the credit of astrology, ob- serves that the stars have suffered a considerable variation of their longitude by the precession of the equinoxes : for instance, the first star of Aries, which in the time of Meton the Athenian was found in the very intersection of the ecliptic and equator, is now removed eastward more than thirty degrees, so that the sign Aries possesses the place of Taurus, Taurus that of Gem- ini, and so on. . f The twelve signs in astrology are divided into four trigons, or triplicities, each denominated from the con-natural element ; so they are three fiery, three airy, three watery, and three earthly. Fiery — Aries, Leo, Sagittarius. Earthly— Taurus, Virgo, Capricornus. Airy — Gemini, Libra, Aquarius. Watery— Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces. t See our poet’s arguments put into prose by Dr. Bentley, in the latter end of his third sermon at Boyle’s lectures. § The Chaldeans, as Cicero remarks, pretended to have been in possession of astrological knowledge for the long space of 47,000 years. But Diodorus informs us that, in things belonging to their art, they calculated by lunar years of thirty days. By this method, however, their account will reach to the creation, if not to a more distant epoch. It is well known that Berosus, oi his scholars, new-modelled and adopted the Babylonian doc trines to the Grecian mythology. II Mr. Smith, of Harleston, says this is a banter upon Sir Rich- ard Fanshawe’s translation of Horace, Epod. ii. 69, 70. Omnem relegit idibus pecuniam, duaerit calendis ponere. HUDIBRAS. [Part n 292 And yet with canting, slight, and cheat ’Twill serve their turn to do the feat ; 920 Make fools believe in their foreseeing Of things before they are in being ; To swallow gudgeons ere they’re catch’d, And count their chickens ere they’re hatch’d ; Make them the constellations prompt, 925 And give them back their own accompt ; But still the best to him that gives The best price for’t, or best believes. Some towns, some cities, some for brevity, Have cast the ’versal world’s nativity, 930 And made the infant stars confess, Like fools or children, what they please. Some calculate the hidden fates Of monkeys, puppy-dogs, and cats ; Some running-nags, and fighting-cocks, 935 Some love, trade, law-suits, and the pox : Some take a measure of the lives Of fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, Make opposition, trine, and quartile, Tell who is barren, and who fertile ; 940 As if the planet’s first aspect The tender infant did infect* * At Michaelmas calls all his monies in, And at our Lady puts them out again. The fifteenth day of March, May, July, and October, and the thirteenth day of all other months, was called the ides. The first day of every month was called the calends. * The accent is laid upon the last syllable of aspect, as it often is in Shakspeare : see Dr. Farmer’s observations on the learning of Shakspeare, p. 27. Astrologers reckon five aspects of the planets r conjunction, sextile, quartile trine, and opposition. Sextile denotes iheir being distant from each other a sixth part of a circle, or two signs ; quartile, a fourth part, or three signs ; trine, a third part, or four signs ; opposition, half the circle, or directly opposite. It was the opinion of judicial astrologers, that whatever good disposition the infant might otherwise have been endued with, yet if its birth was, by any accident, so accelerated or retarded, that it fell in with the predominance of a malignant constellation, this momentary influence would entirely change its nature, and bias it to all contrary ill qualities. The ancients had an opinion of the influence of the stars : Scit Genius, natale comes qui temperat astrum. Horat. Ep. lib. ii. Ep. ii. 1. 187. There would be no end of quoting authors on this subject, such as Menander and Plutarch among the Greeks ; and among the Latins, Horace, Persius, Ammianus Marcellinus, and Censonnus de die natali. The tender infant did infect — Thus in line 931 : And make the infant stars confess. HUDIBRAS. 293 Canto iii.] In soul and body, and instill All future good and future ill ; Which in their dark fatalities lurking, At destined periods fall a working, And break out, like the hidden seeds Of long diseases, into deeds, In friendships, enmities, and strife, And all th’ emergencies of life : No sooner does he peep into The world, but he has done his do, Catch’d all diseases, took all physick, That cures or kills a man that is sick ; Marry’d his punctual dose of wives, Is cuckolded, and breaks, or thrives. There’s but the twinkling of a star Between a man of peace and war , A thief and justice, fool and knave, A huffing off’cer and a slave 5 A crafty lawyer and pick-pocket, A great philosopher and a blockhead ; A formal preacher and a player, A learn’d physician and man-slayer : As if men from the stars did suck Old age, diseases, and ill luck, Wit, folly, honour, virtue, vice, Trade, travel, women, claps, and dice : And draw, with the first air they breathe, Battle, and murder, sudden death.t Are not these fine commodities To be imported from the skies, And vended here among the rabble, For staple goods, and warrantable ? Like money by the Druids borrow’d, In th’ other world to be restor’d.! 945 950 955 960 965 970 975 * In the public opinion, perhaps, there is thought to be a coin- cidence in these characters ; and some of them, we must own, are more nearly than others. Tne author too, with his usu^l Peasantry, might be willing to allow the resemblance in a certain degree ; but the scope of his argument requires him to attribute to^hem distinct and opposite qualities; and in this sense no doubt, he meant seriously to be understood. t This is one of the petitions in the Litany, which the d 1 - senters objected to; especially the vvords sudden death. See Bennet’s London Cases abridged, ch. iv. p. 100. t That is, astrologers, by endeavoring to persuade men that the stars have dealt out to them their future fortunes, aregJilty of a similar fraud with the Druids, who borrowed money on a Dromise of repaying it after death. Druid® pecuniam mutuo ac cipiebant, in posteriore vita reddituri. This practice among the 294 HUDIBKAS. [Pari n Quoth Sidrophel, To let you know You wrong the art and artists too, Since arguments are lost on those That do our principles oppose, 980 I will, altho’ I’ve don’t before, Demonstrate to your sense once more, And draw a figure that shall tell you What you, perhaps forget befel you ; By way of horary inspection,* * 985 Which some account our worst erection. With that, he circles draws, and squares, With cyphers, astral characters, Then looks ’em o’er to understand ’em, Altho’ set down habnab at random.! 990 Quoth he, This scheme of th’ heavens set, Discovers how in fight you met, At Kingston, with a may-pole idol,t And that y’were bang’d both back and side well ; And tho’ you overcame the bear, 995 Druids was founded on their doctrine of the immortality of the soul. Valerius Maximus says of the Gauls in general, Vetus ille Gallorum mos — quos memoria proditum est, pecunias mutuas, quae his apud inferos redderentur, dare solitos, quia persuasum habuerunt, animas hominum immortales esse, ii. 6, 10. And Mela says, Unum ex iis quae praecipiunt (Druides) in vulgus effluxit — aeternas esse animas, — itaque cum mortuis cremant ac defodiunt apta viventibus olim. Negotiorum ratio etiam et exactio crediti deferebatur ad inferos, ii. 2. — Bonzes, in the East Indies, are said to have been acquainted with this prac- tice. * The horoscope is the point of the heavens which rises above the eastern horizon, at any particular moment. t Dr. Davies says habnab is a Welsh word, and signifies rash- ly, at random. [Nares says, habbe or nabbe, Have or have not, hit or miss, at a venture : quasi, have or n'ave, i. e. have not ; as nill for will not. “ The citizens in their rage imagining that every post in the churche had bin one of their souldyers, shot habbe or nabbe , at random.” Holinshed, Hist, of Ireland. F. 2, col* 2*1 t Mr. Butler alludes to the counterfeited second part of Hudi- bras, published 1663. The first annotator gives us to understand, that some silly interloper had broken in upon our author’s de- sign, and invented a second part of his book. In this spurious production, the rencounters of Hudibras at Brentford, the trans- actions of a mountebank whom he met with, and probably these adventures of the May-pole at Kingston, are described at length. Cervantes, the author of Don Quixote, met with the like treat- ment, [from Alphonsus Fernandes de Avellaneda ;] and vindica- ted himself in the same manner, by making his knight declare that he was no way concerned in those exploits which a new historian had related of him. May-poles were held in abomina- tion by the saints of our author’s time ; and many writers have expressed their abhorrence of them with great acrimony. Onto hi.] HUDLBRAS. The dogs beat you at Brentford fair ; Where sturdy butchers broke your noddle, And handled you like a fop-doodle. Quoth Hudibras, I now perceive You are no conj’rer, by your leave ; That paltry story is untrue, And forg’d to cheat such gulls as you. Not true ? quoth he ; howe’er you vapour, I can what I affirm make appear ; Whachum shall justify’t to your face, And prove he was upon the place : He play’d the saltinbancho’s part,* Transform’d t’ a Frenchman by my art *, He stole your cloak, and pick’d your pocket, Chous’d and caldes’d you like a blockhead, T And what you lost I can produce, If you deny it, here i’ the house. Quoth Hudibras, I do believe That argument’s demonstrative ; Ralpho, bear witness, and go fetch us A constable to seize the wretches : For tho’ they’re both false knaves and cheats,; 295 1000 1005 1015 * Saltimbanque is a French word, signifying a quack or moun- tebank. Perhaps it was originally Italian. . WniW t Caldes’d is a word of the poet’s own coining. Mr. Warbur- ton thinks he took the hint from the Chaldeans, who were | grea fortune-tellers. Others suppose it ma y be derived from the Gothic, or old Teutonic, a language used by the Piets .among whom Caldees, or Keldeis, as Spotswood thinks, were the an cient ministers or priests, and so called because they lived m cells. See Camden’s account of the Orkney Isles. Pinkerton, in his History of the Scots, p. 273, says, “ the Caldees united in “ themselves the distinctions of monks and of secular clergy, “being apparently, to the eleventh century, the only monks and “clergy in Scotland, and all Irish.” But perhaps we ought ra- ther tolook for this word in the vocabulary of gi psies and pick- pockets, than either among the Chaldeans, the Scots, or the Irish. The signification of it, in Butler s Remains, is the same with trepanned. Yol. i. 24 : Asham’d that men so grave and wise Should be chaldes’d by gnats and flies. Mr. Butler’s MS. Common-place book has the following lines; He that with injury is griev’d, And goes to law to be reliev’d, Is like a silly rabble chouse, Who, when a thief had robb’d his house, Applies himself to cunning man To help him to his goods agen. X Though they are false by their own confession, I will make them true for another purpose. 296 HUDIBRAS. [Part it Imposters, jugglers, counterfeits, I’ll make them serve for perpendic’lars, As true as e’er were us’d by bricklayers :* 1020 They’re gnilty, by their own confessions, Of felony, and at the sessions, Upon the bench I will so handle ’em, That the vibration of this pendulum Shall make all tailors’ yards of one 1025 Unanimous opinion :+ A thing ho long has vapour’d of. But now shall make it out by proof. Quoth Sidrophel, I do not doubt To find friends that will bear me out 1030 * i. e. swing them in a line, like a bricklayer’s level. t Mr. Butler, in his own note on this passage, says : “ The de “ vice of the vibration of a pendulum, was intended to settle a “ certain measure of ells, yards, &c., all the world over, which “ should have its foundation in nature. For by swinging a “ weight at the end of a string, and calculating by the motion of “ the sun or any star, how long the vibration would last, in pro- “ portion to the length of the string and weight of the pendu- “ lum, they thought to reduce it back again, and from any part “ of time compute the exact length of any string, that must “ necessarily vibrate for such a period of time. So that if a man “ should ask in China for a quarter of an hour of taffeta, they “ would know perfectly well what he meant : and the measure “ of things would be reckoned no more by the yard, foot, or inch : “ but by the hour, quarter, and minute.” See his Remains by Thyer, vol. i. p. 30 : By which he had composed a pedlar’s jargon, For all the world to learn and use to bargain, An universal canting idiom To understand the swinging pendulum, And to communicate in all designs With th’ Eastern vhtuoso mandarines. And Dr. Derham’s experiments concerning the vibration of a pendulum, in the Philosophical Transactions, vol. iii. No. 440, p. 201. The moderns, perhaps, will not be more successful in their endeavors to establish an universal standard of weights and measures. [If the reader wishes to see the use the moderns have made of the pendulum, he may refer to “ An account of Experiments “ to determine the times of vibration of the Pendulum in differ- “ ent latitudes, by Captain Edward Sabine of the Royal Regi “ ment of Artillery,” in the Philosophical Transactions for the year 1821 — to the volume for 1823 — and to the volume for 1827, page 123, where he perhaps will find that at least the Captain is not the man “ by the long level of his repeating circle” ,to make all tailors’ yards of one Unanimous opinion.] { William Lilly wrote and prophesied for the parliament, till he perceived their influence decline. He then changed sides ; but having declared himself rather too soon, he was taken into Canto xii.] HUDIBRAS. 29 ? Nor have I hazarded my art, And neck, so long on the state’s part, To be exposed i’ th’ end to suffer By such a braggadocio huffer. Huffer, quoth Hudibras, this sword Shall down thy false throat cram that word ; Ralpho, make haste, and call an officer, To apprehend this Stygian sophister f Mean while I’ll hold ’em at a bay, Lest he and Whachum run away. But Sidrophel, who from the aspect Of Hudibras, did now erect A figure worse portending far, Than that of most malignant star 5 Believ’d it now the fittest moment To shun the danger that might come on’t, While Hudibras was all alone, And he and Whachum, two to one : This being resolv’d, he spy’d by chance, Behind the door, an iron lance, t That many a sturdy limb had gor’d And legs, and loins, and shoulders bor d ; He snatch’d it up, and made a pass, To make his way thro’ Hudibras. Whachum had got a fire-fork. With which he vow’d to do his work ; But Hudibras was well prepar’d, And stoutly stood upon his guard : He put by Sidrophello’s thrust, And in right manfully he rusht, The weapon from his gripe he wrung, And laid him on the earth along. Whachum his sea-coal prong threw by, And basely turnW. his back to fly ; But Hudibras gave him a twitch, As quick as lightning, in the breech, Just in the place where honour’s lodg’d, t 1035 1040 1045 1050 1055 1060 1065 custody ; and escaped only, as he tells us himself, by the inter- ference of friends, and by cancelling the offensive leaf in his almanac. * i. e. hellish sophister. t A spit for roasting meat. , „ . t Mr. Butler in his speech made at the Rota, says, (Genuine Remains, vol. i. p. 323 :) “ Some are of opinion that honor is seat- “ed in the rump only, chiefly at least : for it is observed, that a “ small kick on that part does more hurt and wound honor than ** a cut on the head or face, or a stab, or a shot of a pistol, on any “ other part of the body .” Id* 298 HUDIBRAS. [Part n As wise philosophers have judg’d ; Because a kick in that part more Hurts honour, than deep wounds before 1070 Quoth Hudibras, The stars determine You are my prisoners, base vermin, Could they not tell you so, as well As what I came to know, foretell? By this, what cheats you are, we find, 1075 That in your own concerns are blind.* Your lives are now at my dispose, To be redeem’d by fine or blows : But who his honour would defile, To take, or sell, two lives so vile ? 10^0 I’ll give you quarter ; but your pillage, The conqu’ring warrior’s crop and tillage, Which with his sword he reaps and plows, That’s mine, the law of arms allows. This said in haste, in haste he fell 1085 To rummaging of Sidrophel. First, he expounded both his pockets, And found a watch with rings and lockets, t Which had been left with him t’ erect A figure for, and so detect. 1090 A copper-plate, with almanacks Engrav’d upon’t, with other knacks! Of Booker’s, Lilly’s, Sarah Jimmer’s,§ And blank-schemes to discover nimmers ;|| * “ Astrologers,” says Agrippa, “ while they gaze on the stars “ for direction, fall into ditches, wells, and goals ” The crafty Tiberius, not content with a promise of empire, examined the astrologer concerning his own horoscope, intending to drown him on the least appearance of falsehood. But Thrasyllus was al- ways too cunning for him : he answered the first time, “ that he “perceived himself at that instant to be in imminent danger and afterwards, “ that he was destined to die just ten years “ before the emperor himself.” Tacit. Ann. vi. 21. Dio lviii. 27. t To negotiate between the robber and the robbed, was cer tainly the most profitable part of the astrologer’s business. t That is, marks or signs belonging to the astrologer’s art : from the Anglo-Saxon cnapan, to know, or understand. Knack often signifies a bauble or plaything : a child’s ball is called a knack. The Glossarist on Douglas says : “ We (the Scots) use the word M knack for a witty expression, or action : a knacky man, that is, u a witty facetious man; which may come from the Teutonic “ schnaike, facetiae.” The verb to knack, in Douglas, signifies to mock. $ John Booker was born at Manchester, and a great astrologer. Lilly has frequently been mentioned. Sarah Jimmers, called, by Lilly, Sarah Skilhorn, was a great speculatrix. || Thieves : from the A. S. niman, rapere, though it generally signifies pickpockets, private stealers. Canto iii.] HUD4BRAS. 299 A moon-dial, with Napier’s bones ,* And sev’ral constellation stones, Engrav’d in planetary hours, That over mortals had strange powers To make them thrive in law or trade, And stab or poison to evade ; In wit or wisdom to improve, And be victorious in love. Whachum had neither cross nor pile,t His plunder was not worth the while ; All which the conqu’ror did discompt, To pay for curing of his rump. But Sidrophel, as full of tricks As rota-men of politics , t Straight cast about to over-reach Th’ unwary conqu’ror with a fetch, And make him glad at least to quit His victory, and fly the pit, Before the secular prince of darkness§ Arriv’d to seize upon his carcass : And, as a fox with hot pursuit, H Chas’d through a warren, cast about 1095 1100 1105 U10 1115 * Lord Napier of Scotland, was author of an invention for casting up any sums or numbers by little rods, which being made of ivory, were called Napier’s bones. He first discovered the use of logarithms in trigonometry, and made it public in aw oik print- ed at Edinburgh, 1614: an instance of ingenuity whichshould never be mentioned without a tribute of praise. His lordship was one of the early members of the Royal Society before its incorporation, which the poet takes Sequent occasions to banter. t FMoney frequently bore a cross on one side, and the head ot a spear or arrow, pilum, on the other. Cross and were our heads and tails. “ This I humbly conceive to be perfect boy s play ; cross, I win, and pile, you lose.” Swift. j _ 1 Mr. James Harrington, sometime in the service of Charles 1., drew up and printed a form of popular government, after the king’s death, entitled the Commonwealth of Oceana. r ®?I deavored, likewise, to promote his scheme by public discourses, at a nightly club of several curious gentlemen, Henry ^Neyil, Charles Wolseley, John Wildman, Doctor (afterwards Sir William) mty, who met in New Palaoe-yard, Westminster. Mr. Henry Nevil proposed to the house of commons, that a third part of its ; members should rote out by ballot every year, and be incapable ^lec- tum for three years to come. This club was called the Rota. Swift, Contests in Athens and Rome, ch. v. p. 74, note. k The constable who governs and keeps the peace at • ™gbt. |j Olaus Magnus has related many such stories cunning: his imitating the barking of a dog; feigning htmsetf dead ; ridding himself of fleas, by going gradually into the water with a lock of wool in his mouth, and when the fleas are driven into it, leaving the wool in the water ; catching crab-fish wh his tail, which the author avers for truth on his own knowledge. Ol. Mag. Hist. 1 18. 300 HUDIBRAS. [Part ii. To save his credit, and among Dead vermin on a gallows hung, And while the dogs ran underneath Escap’d, by counterfeiting death, 1120 Not out of cunning, but a train Of atoms justling in his brain,* As leam’d philosophers give out ; So Sidrophello cast about, And fell to’s wonted trade again, 1125 To feign himself in earnest slain :+ First stretch’d out one leg, then another, And, seeming in his breast to smother A broken sigh, quoth he, Where am I ? Alive, or dead? or which way came I 1130 Thro’ so immense a space so soon ? But now I thought myself i’ th’ moon ; And that a monster with huge whiskers, More formidable than a Switzer’s, My body thro’ and thro’ had drill’d, 1135 And Whachum by my side had kill’d, Had cross-examin’d both our hose,t And plunder’d all we had to lose ; Look, there he is, I see him now, And feel the place I am run thro’ : 1140 And there lies Whachum by my side, Stone-dead, and in his own blood dy’d. Oh ! oh ! with that he fetch’d a groan, And fell again into a swoon ; Shut both his eyes, and stopt his breath, 145 And to the life out -acted death, That Hudibras, to all appearing, Believ’d him to be dead as herring. * The ancient atomic philosophers, Democritus, Epicurus, &c. held that sense in brutes, and cogitation and volition in men, were produced by impression of corporeal atoms on the brain. Cartesius allowed no sense nor cogitation to brutes. He supposed that sensitive principles were immaterial as well as rational ones, and therefore concluded that brutes could have no sense, unless their sensitive souls were immaterial and immortal sub- stances. Antonins Magnus, another Frenchman, published a book near the Author’s time, De carentia sensus et cognitionis in brutis. But the author perhaps meant to ridicule Sir Kenelm Digby, who relates this story of the fox, and maintains that there was no thought nor eunning, but merely a particular disposition of atoms. t The reader may recollect the very humorous circumstances of Falstaff’s counterfeited death. Shakspeare, First Part of Henry IV. Act v. X Trunk- hose with pockets to them. Canto iii ] HUDIBRAS. He held it now no longer safe, To tarry the return of Ralph, But rather leave him in the lurch :* * Thought he, he has abus’d our church,! Refus’d to give himself one firk, To carry on the public work, Despis’d our synod-men like dirt, And made their discipline his sport ; Divulg’d the secrets of their classes, And their conventions prov’d high places ;t Disparag’d their tithe-pigs, as pagan, And set at nought their cheese and bacon ; Rail’d at their covenant, and jeer’d Their rev’rend parsons, to my beard ; For all which scandals, to be quit At once, this juncture falls out fit. I’ll make him henceforth, to beware, And tempt my fury if he dare : He must, at least, hold up his hand,§ By twelve freeholders to be scann d. Who, by their skill in palmistry, |j Will quickly read his destiny, And make him glad to read his lesson, Or take a turn for’t at the session :1T 301 1150 1155 1160 1165 1170 * The different sects of dissenters left each other in the lurch, whenever an opportunity offered of promoting a separate m- This and the following lines have been produced by some as an argument to prove that the poem was enigmatical and figura- tiv^Pbut it only proves that Hudibras represents the Presbyteri- ans, and Ralpho the Independents. ' + That is, corruptions in discipline — rank popery and idolatry. § Culprits, when they are tried, hold up their hands at the ba ji From palma. Alluding to the method of telling fortunes by inspection of lines in the palm of the hand. IT That is, claim the benefit of clergy, or be hanged. Tom Nash,* a writer of farces — [there are but three dramatic works * This Tom Nash should not be confounded with Thomas Nash, barrister, of the Inner Temple, who is buried in that church, and has the following in- “SpoS'tum Thom® Nash f-enerosi honesta Gamo^M^ viri charitate humilitate eximn et mire mansueti Grace ^ armrime doctiplurium (quos scnpsit transtulit elucidavit edidit) librorum au Ete ampttandi' interior* templi annos circiter 30 repagulario non . 0 - lidi minus quam synceri Tho. Nash obiit 25°. Augusti 1648. I have never seen any of his works, but am informed that the School of Po- tentates, translated from the Latin, with observations, in and that he probably wrote the fourtold discourse in quarto, 1632. He was a zealous rovalist, contrary to the sentiments of his two brothers ; the eldest a country gentleman in Worcestershire, of considerable estate, from whom the editor is descended, was very active in supporting the Parliament cause, and 302 HUDIBRAS. Unless his light and gifts prove truer Than ever yet they did, I’m sure ; For if he ’scape with whipping now, 'Tis more than he can hope to do : And that will disengage my conscience Of th’ obligation, in his own sense : I’ll make him now by force abide, What he by gentle means deny’d, To give my honour satisfaction, And right the brethren in the action. This being resolv’d, with equal speed, And conduct, he approach’d his steed, And with activity unwont, Essay’d the lofty beast to mount ; [Part n 1175 O 11SQ 1185 of his, Dido a tragedy, and two comedies] — in Queen Elizabeth’s reign, who died before the year 1606, is supposed by Dr. Farmer to satirize Shakspeare for want of learning, in the following words : “ I leave,” saith he, “ all these to the mercy of their “ mother-tongue, that feed on nought but the crumbs that fall “ from the translator’s trencher, that could scarcely latinize their “ neck verse , if they should have neede.” Dr. Lodge calls Nash our true English Aretine : and John Taylor, the water poet, makes an oath by “ sweete satyriche Nash his urne his works, in three volumes quarto, tvere printed 1600, and purchased for the Royal Library, at an auction in Whitehall, about the year 1785, for thirty pounds. [In the sale of Dr. Wright’s Library in 1787, a collection (not an edition) of his works, consisting of twenty-one pieces of vari- ous dates, was sold for £12. .15 ; see Dibdin’s Bibliomania, p. 534 ; but if it was bought for the King’s Library there must be some error in the Sale Catalogue in attributing all the Tracts to Nash, as there are but ten under his name in the Catalogue of the Royal Library. As Dr. Nash has here indulged a natural vanity upon a sub- ject more interesting to himself than to the reader of Hudibras, a somewhat similar indulgence, in this edition, may perhaps be pardoned when the incidental mention of the Royal Library oc- casions it. This truly regal library is now deposited in the Brit- ish Museum. It was, ab initio , formed under the personal direc- tion of His late Majesty George the Third, by Sir Frederick Bar- nard, his librarian, and Mr. George Nicol, his bookseller ; and remains an honorable proof of the king’s liberal pursuit and love of knowledge, and of the skilful industry of the men he so ju- diciously employed in its collection.] the government by Cromwell. The younger brother commanded a troop of horse in the parliament service, was member of parliament for the city of Worcester, and an active justice of peace under therrotector : the family quar- rel on political accounts, and which was carried on with the greatest animosity, and most earnest desire to ruin each other, together with the decline of the king’s affairs, and particularly the execution of bis pereon, so affected the spir- its of Mr. Thomas jNash, that he determined not long to survive it. The editor hopes the reader will excuse this periautology and account of his jpreat-grand- father, and his two younger brothers — he at this day feels the efmts of their family quarrels and party zeal. HUDIBRAS. 303 Canto iii., Which once atchiev’d, he spurr’d his palfry, To get from th’ enemy and Ralph free ; Left danger, fears, and foes behind, And beat, at least three lengths, the wind.* & volucremque fuga prsevertitur Eurum. agente nimbos Ocyor Euro. 1190 AN HEROICAL EPISTLE OF HUDIBRAS TO SIDROPHEL * Ecce iterum Crispinus. Well, Sidrophel, tho’ ’tis in vain To tamper with your crazy brain, Without trepanning of your skull, t As often as the moon’s at full', ’Tis not amiss, ere ye ’re giv’n o’er, 9 To try one desp’rate med’cine more ; For where your case can be no worse, The desp’rat’st is the wisest course. Is’t possible that you, whose ears Are of the tribe of Issachar’s,t 10 * This Epistle was not published till many years after the preceding canto, and has no relation to the character there de- scribed. Sidrophel, in the poem, is a knavish fortune-teller, whose ignorance is compensated by a large share of cunning. In the Epistle he is ignorant indeed, but the defect is made up by conceitedness, assurance, and a solemn exterior. It should seem that Mr. Butler had received an affront or injury from some per son of moderate abilities, who had obtained, notwithstanding, a respectable situation, and stood high in the opinion of the world * and that he addressed the offending party by the title of Sidro- phel, because he had already applied this name to a vain pre- tender to science, and had already made it contemptible. The style is serious, the remarks are pointed and severe ; and he author does not hold up the character here in his usual way, as an object of ridicule, but gravely upbraids the man as a credu- lous assuming liar, in a manner that more resembles the acrimo- ny of Juvenal, than the delicacy of Horace. I could wish that this Epistle had been consigned to oblivion, or else published in some other part of his works. But it has appeared so long in this place, that I have not thought myself at liberty to re- ject it. t A chirurgical operation to remove part of the skull, when it presses upon the brain. It is said to have restored the under- standing, and was proposed as a remedy for the disorder with which Bean Swift was afflicted. t Alluding to Genesis xlix. 14 : “ Issachar is a strong ass.” HUDIBRAS TO SIDROPHEL. And might, with equal reason, eivher For merit, or extent of leather, With William Pryn’s, before they were Retrench’d, and crucify’d, compare, Shou’d yet be deaf against a noise So roaring as the public voice ? That speaks your virtues free and loud, And openly in ev’ry crowd. As loud as one that sings his part T’ a wheel-barrow, or turnip-cart, Or your new nick -nam’d old invention To cry green-hastings with an engine ;* As if the vehemence had stunn’d, And torn your drum-heads with the sound And ’cause your folly’s now no news, But overgrown, and out of use, Persuade yourself there’s no such matter,! But that ’tis vanish’d out of nature ; When folly, as it grows in years, The more extravagant appears ; For who but you could be possest With so much ignorance and beast, That neither all men’s scorn and hate, Nor being laugh’d and pointed at, Nor bray’d so often in a mortar, § 305 15 20 25 30 35 * Green-hastings was a well-known apple formerly, though not mentioned in Philips’s Cider : winter-hastings is a well- known pear. Dust-men and news-earners m London sound a trumpet or ring a bell, to avoid a continual exertion of the voice. May not this passage point at the improvement of the speaking- trumpet newly invented by Sir Samuel Morland. [Hastings, from hasty. Peas that come early. See Todd s Johnson, where this passage is quoted. The London crier uses it only for peas.] f Drum-heads, that is, the drum of your ears. i i. e. is it possible that you should persuade yoursel } . $ Bray'd , from the Saxon word bjiacan, to pound or grind. « Though thou shouldest bray a fool in a mortar among wheat “with a pestle, yet will not his foolishness depart from him. Prov. xxvii. 22. Anaxarchus was pounded in a mortar by order of Nicocreon, tyrant of Cyprus : Aut ut Anaxarchus pillSk. minuaris in alt& Jactaque pro solitis frugibus ossa sonent. Ovid, in Ibin. 5/1. Some of the primitive martyrs were ground in mills ; as Victoi of Marseilles, under Maximian. “ Martyrem toto mox corpora “ rotatu celeri conterendum pistorise moli supponunt : Tuncelec- “ turn Dei frumentum sine miseratione conteritur.’ Passio Vic- toris Massiliensis, apud Colomesii opera, p. 729. St. Ignatius, perhaps, alludes to this species of punishment in his Epistles to the Romans, ch. iv. : aft 6s dpi Qeov /cat til dtifivnav Sripiiav aMj- 306 HUDIBRAS TO S1DROPHEL. Can teach you wholesome sense and nurture, But, like a reprobate, what course Soever us’d, grow worse and worse ? Can no transfusion of the blood, That makes fools cattle, do you good ?* * 44 Nor putting pigs to a bitch to nurse, To turn them into mongrel curs :+ Put you into a way, at least, To make yourself a better beast ? Can all your critical intrigues, 45 Of trying sound from rotten eggs ;t Y our sev’ral new-found remedies, Of curing wounds and scabs in trees ; Your arts of fluxing them for claps, And purging their infected saps • 50 Oopai, iva KaOapog aprog evpeO a> tov Xpiorov. Again, a\riayLo\ 2Aov tov ciofjLarog. ibid. And I have little doubt but the words A prapiOiv a\rjap.ot, in Eunapius’s Life of Maximus, p. 83, Genev. ed., which have given the critics so much trouble, relate to a similar act of cruelty. Nurture here means breeding, or good manners. Thus Chau cer in his Reves Tale, line 3965 : What for hire kinrede, and hire nortelrie, That she had lerned in the nonnerie. * In the last century several persons thought it worth their while to transfuse the blood of one living creature into the veins of another ; and, if we may believe their account, the operation had good effects. It has even been performed on human sub- jects. Dr. Mackenzie has described the process in his History of Health, p. 431. He seems to think that the transfusion of blood had not a fair trial, and that the experiments might have been pushed farther. Dr. Lower and others countenanced this practice. Sir Edmund King, a favorite of Charles II., was among the philosophers of his time, who made the famous experiment of transfusing the blood of one animal into another. See Phil. Trans, abr. iii. 224, and the additions and corrections to Pennant’s London. His picture is in the College of Physicians. Shadwell ridicules this practice in his Virtuoso, where Sir Nicholas Gim- crack relates some experiments of this transfusion and their ef- fects. The lines from v. 39 to 59, allude to various projects of the first establishes of the Royal Society. See Birch’s history of that body, vol. i. 303 ; vol. ii. 48, 50, 54, 115, 117, 123, 125, 161, 312. See also Ward’s Gresham Professors, pp. 101, 273. That makes fools cattle , i. e. more valuable at least than they wore before ; or perhaps makes them greater fools than they W6re before. f As a note on these lines, a curious story from Giraldus Cam- brensis, of a sow that was suckled by a bitch, and acquired the sagacity of a hound or spaniel. See Butler’s Remains, vol i. p. 12. t On the first establishment of the Royal Society, some of the members engaged in the investigation of these and similar sub. fects. The society was incorporated July 15, 1662. HUDIBRAS TO SIDROPHEL. Recovering shankers, crystallines, . And nodes and blotches in their reins, Have no effect to operate Upon that duller block, your pate ? But still it must be lewdly bent To tempt your own due punishment ; And, like your whimsy’d chariots,* draw The boys to course you without law ;t As if the art you have so long Profess’d, of making old dogs young, t In you had virtue to renew Not only youth, but childhood too : Can you, that understand all books, By judging only with your looks, Resolve all problems with your face, As others do with B’s and A’s ; Unriddle all that mankind knows With solid bending of your brows ? All arts and sciences advance, With screwing of your countenance, And with a penetrating eye, Into th’ abstrusest learning pry ; Know more of any trade b’ a hint, ^ Than those that have been bred up in’t,§ And yet have no art, true or false, To help your own bad naturals ? But still the more you strive t’ appear, Are found to be the wretcheder : For fools are known by looking wise, 307 55 60 65 70 75 * I know not the scheme proposed by the society, pert^ps the chariot to go with legs instead of wheels, as mentioned before; or perhaps they might hope to introduce the famous chariot of Stevinus, which was moved by sails, and carried twenty-eigh nassen^ers, among whom were prince Maurice, Buzanva , and Grotos over the lands of Scheveling, fourteen Dutch miles, in two hours, as Grotius himself affirms. . _ t That is, to follow you close at the heels: to give law among sportsmen is to let the creature that is to be hunted run a considerable way before the dogs are suffered to pursue. See ^^Se^Butler’s Genuine Remains, vol. ii. 188. His want of iudgment inclines him naturally to the most extravagant under- takings, like that of “making old dogs young; stopping up of W ^ rd printing t was invented by a soldier, gunpowder by a, monk, and several branches of the clothing trade by b 1 [ s ' 10 P ‘ said agreeably to the vulgar notion concerning Bishop Blaze, the patron saint of the wool-combers. But he obtained that honor, not on account of any improvements he made in the trade but because he suffered martyrdom by having his flesh torn by card ing-irons. See the Martyrology for the third of February. 308 HUDIBRAS TO SIDROPHEL. As men find woodcocks by their eyes. 80 Hence ’tis because ye ’ve gained o’ th’ college* * A quarter share, at most, of knowledge, And brought in none, but spent repute, Y’ assume a pow’r as absolute To judge, and censure, and controll, 85 As if you were the sole sir Poll, And saucily pretend to know More than your dividend comes to : You’ll find the thing will not be done With ignorance and face alone ; 90 No, tho’ ye ’ve purchas’d to your name, In history, so great a fame ;t That now your talent’s so well-known, For having all belief out-grown, That ev’ry strange prodigious tale 95 Is measur’d by your German scale, t By which the virtuosi try The magnitude of ev’ry lie, Cast up to what it does amount, * Though the Royal Society removed from Gresham College on account of the fire of London, it returned there again, 1674 being the year in which this Epistle was published. t I am inclined to think that the character of Sidrophel, in this Epistle, was designed rather for Sir Paul Neile than for Lilly, or perhaps has some strokes at both of them, notwithstanding Dr. Grey’s thinking that “these two lines plainly discover that Lilly “ (and not Sir Paul Neal) was lashed under the name of Sidro- “ phel ; for Lilly’s fame abroad was indisputable.” The poet seems to allude to Sir Paul in the eighty-sixth line, as he had before done to Sir Samuel Luke. Sir Paul had offended Mr. But- ler by saying that he was not the author of Hudibras ; or per- haps Sir Poll here might allude to Sir Politick Would-be in Ben Jonson’s Volpone. In history, some historians as well as trav- ellers have been famous for telling wonderful lies or stories ; or, perhaps, a glance might be here intended at Sprat’s History of the Royal Society. Mr. Thyer, in Butler’s Remains, says “ he “can assure the reader, upon the poet’s own authority, that the “ character of Sidrophel was intended for a picture of Sir Paul “Neile, who was son of Richard Neile, (whose father was a * “ chandler in Westminster,) who, as Anthony Wood says, went “ through all degrees and orders in the church, schoolmaster, cu- “rate, vicar, &c. &c. and at last was archbishop of York.” Sir Paul was one of the first establishers of the Royal Society: which society, in the dawn of science, listening to many things that appeared trifling and incredible to the generality of the peo pie, became the butt and sport of the wits of the times. Browne Willis, in his Survey of York Cathedral, says, that archbishop Neile left his son Sir Paul Neile executor, whom, though he left rich, (as he did his wife 300/. a year for her life,) yet he soon run it out, without affording his father a gravestone. t All incredible stories are now measured by your standard. One German mile is equal to four miles English or Italian. HUDIBRAS TO SIDROPHEL. 309 And place the bigg’st to your account ; That all those stories that are laid Too truly to you. and those made, Are now still charg’d upon your score, And lesser authors nam’d no more. Alas ! that faculty betrays Those soonest it designs to raise And all your vain renown will spoil, As guns o’ercharg’d the more recoil ; Though he that has but impudence, To ail things has a fair pretence ; And put among his wants but shame, To all the world may lay his claim : Tho’ you have tried that nothing s borne With greater ease than public scorn, That all affronts do still give place To your impenetrable face ; That makes your way thro’ all affairs, As pigs thro’ hedges creep with theirs ; Yet as ’tis counterfeit and brass, You must not think ’twill always pass ; For all impostors, when they’re known, Are past their labour, and undone . And all the best that can befal An artificial natural, Is that which madmen find, as soon As once they’ve broke loose from the moon, And proof against her influence, Relapse to e’er so little sense, To turn stark fools, and subjects fit For snort of boys, and rabble-wit. 100 105 110 115 120 125 130 PART III. CANTO L THE ARGUMENT. The Knight and Squire resolve at once, The one the other to renounce ; They both approach the Lady’s bower, The Squire t’ inform, the Knight to woo her She treats them with a masquerade, By furies and hobgoblins made ; From which the Squire conveys the Knight, And steals him from himself by night HUDIBR AS. PART III. CANTO I. ’Tis true, no lover has that pow’r T’ enforce a desperate amour, As he that has two strings to’s bow, And burns for love and money too ; For then he’s brave and resolute, Disdains to render in his suit Has all his flames and raptures double, And hangs or drowns with half the trouble ; While those who sillily pursue The simple downright way, and true, Make as unlucky applications, And steer against the stream their passions. Some forge their mistresses of stars, And when the ladies prove averse, And more untoward to be won Than by Caligula the moon,+ Cry out upon the stars for doing 111 offices, to cross their wooing, When only by themselves they’re hindred, For trusting those they made her kindred, t And still the harsher and hide-bounder, The damsels prove, become the fonder ; * That is surrender, or give up : from the French, t This was one of the extravagant follies of Caligula . Cams noctibus quidem plenam fulgentemque lunam lnvitabat assidue in amplexus, atque concubitum.” Suetonius, in vita C. Calig t The meaning is, that when men have flattered their mis- tresses extravagantly, and declared them to be possessed of ac- complishments more than human ; they must not be surprised if they are treated in return with that distant reserve which be- ings of a superior order may rightly exercise toward inferior de- pendent creatures : nor have they room for complaint, since the injury which they sustain is an effect of their own indiscretion. 312 HUDIBRAS. [Part in For what mad lover ever dy’d To gain a soft and gentle bride ? Or for a lady tender-hearted, 25 In purling streams or hemp departed ? Leap’d headlong int’ Elysium, Thro’ th’ windows of a dazzling room ?* But for some cross ill-natur’d dame, The am’rous fly burnt in his flame. 30 This to the Knight could be no news, With all mankind so much in use ; Who therefore took the wiser course, To make the most of his amours, Resolv’d to try all sorts of ways, 35 As follows in due time and place. No sooner was the bloody fight Between the wizard and the knight, With all th’ appurtenances over, But he relaps’d again t’ a lover ; 40 As he was always wont to do, When he ’ad discomfited a foe, And us’d the only antique philters, Deriv’d from old heroic tilters.t But now triumphant and victorious, 45 He held th’ atchievement was too glorious For such a conqueror to meddle With petty constable or beadle ; Or fly for refuge to the hostess Of th’ inns of court and chanc’ry, justice ; 50 Who might, perhaps, reduce his cause To th’ ordeal trial of the laws ;t * Drowned themselves. Objects reflected by water appear nearly the same as when they are viewed through a window, or through the windows of a room so high from the ground that it dazzles one to look dowm from it. Thus Juvenal, Sat. vi. v. 31. Altae caligantesque fenestrae: which Holyday translates, dazzling high windows. f HAar’d^’ vxprjyov reixeos eh ’Mdrjv t Callimachus, Ep. 29, where ’Atdrjv does not mean hell, but the place of departed souls, comprehending both Elysium and Tar tarus. | The heroes of romance endeavored to conciliate the affec- tions of their mistresses by the fame of their illustrious exploits. So was Desdemona w r on. Shakspeare’s Othello, Act i. “ She loved me for the dangers I had past. ’ t Ordeal comes from the Anglo-Saxon ojibal, which is also derived from the Teutonic, and signifies judgment. The meth- ods of trial by fire, water, or combat, w r ere in use till the time of Henry III., and the right of exercising them was annexed to seve- ral lordships or manors. At this day, when a culprit is arraigned at the bar, and asked how he will be tried, he is directed to an- 313 Canto i.] HUDIBRAS. Where none escape, but such as branded, With red-hot irons, have past bare -handed ; And if they cannot read one verse I 5 th’ psalms, must sing it, and that’s worse.* He, therefore, judging it below him, To tempt a shame the dev’l might owe him, Resolv’d to leave the Squire for bail And mainprize for him, to the jail, To answer, with his vessel, allt That might disastrously befall. He thought it now the fittest juncture To give the Lady a rencounter ; T’ acquaint her with his expedition, And conquest o’er the fierce magician ; Describe the manner of the fray, And shew the spoils he brought away ; His bloody scourging aggravate, The number of the blows and weight : All which might probably succeed, And gain belief he ’ad done the deed : Which he resolv’d t’ enforce and spare No pawning of his soul to swear ; But, rather than produce his back, To set his conscience on the rack ; And, in pursuance of his urging Of articles perform’d, and scourging, And all things else, upon his part, Demand delivery ot her heart, Her goods and chattels, and good graces, And person, up to his embraces. Thought he, the ancient errant knights Won all their ladies’ hearts in fights, And cut whole giants into fitters, t 55 60 65 70 75 80 85 swer, “by God and my country,” by the verdict or solemn opin- ion of a iury. “ By God” only, would formerly have meant the ordeal, which referred the case immediately to the divine judg- m *When persons claimed the benefit of clergy, they were re- quired to read a verse in the Bible, generally in the Psalms. It was usual, too, for the clergyman who attended an execution, to give out a ; >salm to be sung. So that the common people said, if they could not read their neck verse at sessions, they must sing it at the gallows. f In this term the saints unwittingly concurred w th the grave old philosophers, who termed the body ffKsvos. t Some editions read fritters ; but the corrected one ot lb7» has Jitters, a phrase often used by romance writers, very frequent- ly by the author of the Romant of Romants. Our author joins 14 314 HUDIBRAS. [Pai't m To put them into am’rous twitters ; Whose stubborn bowels scorn’d to yield, Until their gallants were half kill’d ; But when their bones were drubb’d so sore, They durst not woo one combat more, 90 The ladies’ hearts began to melt, Subdu’d by blows their lovers felt. So Spanish heroes, with their lances, At once wound bulls and ladies’ fancies ;* * And he acquires the noblest spouse 95 That widows greatest herds of cows ; Then what may I expect to do, Who ’ve quelled so vast a buffalo ? Meanwhile the Squire was on his way, The Knight’s late orders to obey ; ^00 Who sent him for a strong detachment Of beadles, constables and watchmen, T’ attack the cunning man for plunder Committed falsely on his lumber ; When he, who had so lately sack’d 105 The enemy, had done the fact, Had rifled all his pokes and fobs Of gimcracks, whims, and jiggumbobs, Which he by hook or crook had gather’d, And for his own inventions father’d: no And when they should, at jail-delivery, Unriddle one another’s thievery, Both might have evidence enough To render neither halter-proof.t He thought it desperate to tarry, 115 And venture to be accessory ; But rather wisely slip his fetters, And leave them for the Knight, his betters. He call’d to mind th’ unjust foul play He would have offer’d him that day, 120 with Cervantes in burlesquing the subjects and style of roman ces. [Fitters, small fragments, from fetta, Ital. fetzen, Germ. They look and see the stones, the words, and letters, All cut and mangled, in a thousand liters. Harrington’s Ariosto, xxiv. 40. * The bull-feasts at Madrid have been frequently described The ladies take a zealous part at these combats. f The mutual accusations of the knight and Sidrophel, if es- tablished, might hang both of them. Halter-proof is to be in no danger from a halter, as musket-proof in no danger from amus- Ket : to render neither halter-proof is to render both in danger of being hanged. Canto i.] HUDIBRAS. To make him curry his own hide, Which no beast ever did beside, Without all possible evasion, But of the riding dispensation :* * * § And therefore, much about the hour The Knight, for reason told before, Resolv’d to leave him to the fury Of justice, and an unpack’d jury, The Squire concurr’d to abandon him, And serve him in the self-same trim ;+ T’ acquaint the Lady what h’ had done, And what he meant to carry on ; What project ’t was he went about, When Sidrophel and he fell out ; His firm and stedfast resolution, To swear her to an execution To pawn his inward ears to marry her,§ And bribe the devil himself to cany her In which both dealt, as if they meant Their party saints to represent, Who never fail’d, upon their sharing In any prosperous arms-bearing, To lay themselves out to supplant Each other cousin-german saint. But ere the Knight could do his part, The Squire had got so much the start, He ’ad to the lady done his errand, And told her all his tricks aforehand. 315 125 130 135 140 145 * Ralpho considers chat he should not have escaped the whip- ping intended for him by the knight, if their dispute had not been interrupted by the riding-shew, or skimmington. t The author has long had an eye to the selfishness and treachery of the leading parties, the Presbyterians and Inde- pendents. A few lines below he speaks more plainly : In which both dealt as if they meant Their party saints to represent, Who never fail’d, upon their sharing In any prosperous arms-bearing, To lay themselves out to supplant Each other cousin-german saint. The reader will remember that Hudibras represents the Pres- byterians, and Ralpho the Independents : this scene therefore alludes to the manner in which the latter supplanted the former in the civil war. , . . X To swear he had undergone the stipulated whipping, and then demand the performance of her part of the bargain. < § His honor and conscience, which might forfeit some of their immunities by perjury, as the outward ears do for the same crime in the sentence of the statute law 316 HUDIBRAS. [Part m Just as he finish’d his report, The Knight alighted in the court, 150 And having ty’d his beast t’ a pale, And taking time for both to stale, He put his band and beard in order, The sprucer to accost and board her :* * * § And now began t’ approach the door, 155 When she, wh’ had spy’d him out before, Convey’d th’ informer out of sight, And went to entertain the Knight : With whom encountering, after longeest Of humble and submissive congees, 160 And all due ceremonies paid, He strok’d his beard and thus he said :t Madam, I do, as is my duty, Honour the shadow of your shoe-tie ;§ And now am come, to bring your eai 165 A present you’ll be glad to hear ; At least I hope so : the thing’s done, Or may I never see the sun ; For which I humbly now demand Performance at your gentle hand ; 170 And that you’d please to do your part, As I have done mine to my smart. * Thus Polonius : Away, I do beseech you, both away ; I’ll board him presently. — O, give me leave. — How does my good lord Hamlet 'i t That is, after darting himself forward, as fencers do when they make a thrust. + Nec tamen ante adiit, etsi properabat adire, Quam se composuit, quam circumspexit amictus, Et finxit vultum, et meruit formosa videri ; Tunc sic orsa loqui. Ovid. Metam. 1. iv. 1. 317. Thus Cleveland, in his poem on the Mixed Assembly, p. 43 • That Isaac might go stroke his beard, and sit Judge of els adov and elegerit. In Sir Philip Sidney’s Arcadia, lib. iii. p. 349. “ And now “ being come within compass of discerning her, he began to “ frame the loveliest countenance that he could ; stroking up his “ legs, setting up his beard in due order, and standing bolt up “ right.” § [Mr. Todd finds this rhyme used before by Crashaw, in his Delights of the Muses, published in 1646 : I wish her beauty, That owes not all its duty To gaudy tire, or glistering skoe-ty.] Canto i.] HUDIBRAS. With that he shrugg’d his sturdy back, As if he felt his shoulders ake : But she, who well enough knew what, Before he spoke, he would be at, Pretended not to apprehend The mystery of what he mean’d, And therefore wish’d him to expound His dark expressions less profound. Madam, quoth he, I come to prove How much I’ve suffer’d for your love, Which, like your votary, to win, I have not spar’d my tatter’d skin ;* * * § And, for those meritorious lashes, To claim your favour and good graces. Quoth she, I do remember oncet I freed you from th’ enchanted sconce ;t And that you promis’d, for that favour, To bind your back to th’ good behaviour, § 190 And for my sake and service, vow’d To lay upon ’t a heavy load, And what ’t would bear to a scruple prove, As other knights do oft’ make love. Which, whether you have done or no, 195 Concerns yourself, not me, to know ; But if you have, I shall confess, Y’ are honester than I could guess. Quoth he, If you suspect my troth, I cannot prove it but by oath ; 200 And, if you make a question on’t, I’ll pawn my soul that I have don’t : And he that makes his soul his surety, I think does give the best security. Quoth she, Some say the soul’s secure 205 Against distress and forfeiture ; Is free from action, and exempt From execution and contempt ; And to be summon’d to appear In th’ other world’s illegal here,|| 210 * Roman Catholics used to scourge themselves before the image of a favorite saint. t The lady here with affected drollery says once , as if the event had happened some time before, though in reality it was only the preceding day. X From the stocks. . . § It should seem a better reading would be, as in the later editions, To bind your back to Us good behaviour. IJ Alluding to the famous story of Peter and John de Carva- 317 175 180 185 HUDIBRAS. [Part m 318 And therefore few make any account, Int’ what incumbrances they run’t : For most men carry things so even Between this world, and hell, and heaven,* * * * § Without the least offence to either, 215 They freely deal in all together, And equally abhor to quit This world for both, or both for it : And when they pawn and damn their souls, They are but pris’ners on paroles 220 For that, quoth he, ’tis rational, They may be accountable in all :t For when there is that intercourse Between divine and human pow’rs, That all that we determine here 225 Commands obedience ev’ry where ;t When penalties may be commuted§ For fines, or ears, and executed, It follows, nothing binds so fast As souls in pawn and mortgage past : 230 For oaths are the only tests and scales Of right and wrong, and true and false ; And there’s no other way to try The doubts of law and justice by. Quoth she, What is it you would swear? 235 There’s no believing till I hear : For, ’till they’re understood, all tales, Like nonsense, are not true nor false. jal, who, being unjustly condemned for murder, and taken for execution, summoned the king, Ferdinand the Fourth of Spain, to appear before God’s tribunal in thirty days. The king laughed at the summons ; but, though he remained apparently in good health on the day before, he died oil the thirtieth day. Mariana says, there can be no doubt of the truth of this story. * That is, between this world and the next, or a future state. Men have dealings without any scruple in both at the same time ; that is, they are not so completely good as not to have some concern for this, nor yet so completely wicked as not to have some for the next ; they have an equal abhorrence at the thoughts of quitting this world for the next, of forsaking their manner of living on account of their belief of a future state : or quitting the next world for this, that is, of forsaking their be- lief of a future state on account of their enjoyments of this world. t That is, as to that, it stands to reason that men may be ac- countable in this world, and in the next. t He seems at no loss for an application of a text in Scripture, “ Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth, shall be bound in heaven.’’ § The knight argues that, since temporal punishments may be mitigated and commuted, the best securities for truth and hones- ty are those expectations which affect man in his spiritual state. Canto i.] HUDIBRAS. 319 Quoth he, When I resolv’d t’ obey What you commanded th’ other day, And to perform my exercise, As schools are wont, for your fair eyes ; T’ avoid all scruples in the case, I went to do’t upon the place ; But as the castle is enchanted By Sidrophel the witch, and haunted With evil spirits, as you know, Who took my Squire and me for two,* Before I’d hardly time to lay My weapons by, and disarray, I heard a formidable noise, Loud as the Stentrophonic voice, t That roar’d far off, Dispatch and strip, I’m ready with th’ infernal whip, That shall divest thy ribs of skin To expiate thy ling’rmg sin ; Thou ’ast broke perfidiously thy oath, And not perform’d thy plighted troth, But spar’d thy renegado back, Where thou hadst so great a prize at stake, v Which now the fates have order’d me For penance and revenge, to flea, Unless thou presently make haste ; Time is, time was ; and there it ceast.§ With which, tho’ startl’d, I confess, Yet th’ horror of the thing was less Than the other dismal apprehension Of interruption or prevention ; And therefore, snatching up the rod, I laid upon my back a load, Resolv’d to spare no flesh and blood, To make my word and honour good ; Till tir’d, and taking truce at length, For new recruits of breath and strength, 240 245 250 255 260 265 270 * For two evil and delinquent spirits, f Thus Homer, Iliad, v. 785 : 2ra>ropt daaiiivrj iieydXfiropi %aX/c£o0(5vcp. And Juv. Sat. xiii. 112 : Tu miser exclamas, ut Stentora vincere possis. The speaking trumpet was a little before the publication of this canto much improved by Sir Samuel Morland, one of the first es- tablishes of the Royal Society. . _ _ t The later editions, perhaps with more propriety, read, when thou ’ adst . But where in old authors means whereas. $ This alludes to the well-known story of the brazen head. 320 HUDIBRAS. [Part m. 275 I felt the blows still ply’d as fast, As if they ’ad been by lovers plac’d, In raptures of Platonic lashing, And chaste contemplative bardashing :* When facing hastily about, To stand upon my guard and scout, t 28C I found th’ infernal cunning man, And th’ under-witch, his Caliban , t With scourges, like the furies, arm’d, That on my outward quarters storm’d. In haste I snatch’d my weapon up, 285 And gave their hellish rage a stop ; Call’d thrice upon your name,§ and fell Courageously on Sidrophel, Who now transform’d himself t’ a bear,j| Began to roar aloud, and tear ; 29 y When I as furiously press’d on, My weapon down his throat to run, Laid hold on him ; but he broke loose, And turn’d himself into a goose, Div’d under water, in a pond, 295 To hide himself from being found ; In vain I sought him ; but as soon As I perceived him fled and gone, Prepar’d, with equal haste and rage His under-sorc’rer to engage ; 300 But bravely scorning to defile My sword with feeble blood, and vile, I judg’d it better from a quick- Set-hedge to cut a knotted stick, With which I furiously laid on ; 305 * The epithets chaste and contemplative are used ironically. See Genuine Remains, vol. i. 69, and vol. ii. 352. Dr. Bulwer, in his Artificial Changeling, p. 269, says, “ The Turks call those that “ are young, and have no beards, bardasses.” t Sir Samuel Luke was scout-master, t See Shakspeare’s Tempest. $ Bantering the romance writers, whose heroes frequently ir- voke their mistresses : II numero deus impare gaudet. Thus Ovid. Metam. lib. viii. 732 : Virg. eclog. viii. Nam modo te juvenem, modo te viddre leonem : Nunc violentus aper, nunc, quern tetigisse tiinerent, Anguis eras : modo te faciebant cornua taurum, Ssepe lapis poteras, arbor quoque saspe videri. When I as furiously . — Some editions read, perhaps better: When as I furiously- Canto i.] HDDIBRAS. Till, in a harsh and doleful tone. It roar’d, O hold, for pity, Sir, I am too great a sufferer,* Abus’d as you have been b’ a witch, But conjur’d int’ a worse caprich,t Who sends me out on many a jaunt, Old houses in the night to haunt, For opportunities t’ improve Designs of thievery or love ; With drugs convey’d in drink or meat, All feats of witches counterfeit ; Kill pigs and geese with powder’d glass, And make it for enchantment pass ; With cow-itchl meazle like a leper, And choke with fumes of guinea pepper ; Make lechers, and their punks, with dewtry, Commit fantastical advowtry ;§ 321 310 315 320 * O , for pity , is a favorite expression of Spenser. Polydore, m Virgil, M n. iii. 41, says : Quid miserum, Alnea, lacerasl jam parce sepulto : Parce pias scelerare manus. t That is, whim, fancy, from the Italian, capriccio. .... t Cowage is a plant from the East Indies, the pod of which is covered with short hairs : if these hairs are applied to the skin, they cause an itching for a short time ; they are often used by voung people to tease one another with. . _ , -r, . Y $ Dewtry , or datura , is a plant, growing chiefly m the East Indies, whose seeds and flowers have an intoxicating quality. Thev who are skilled in the management of this drug, can, it is said, proportion the dose of it so as to suppress the senses for any Particular number of hours. The Abyssimans likewise have an herb, called by the Caffres, banquini, an inti ap ke tekuvtcu vn avbpdai riicva yvvai/ceg, A vrol piv ffTEvdxovaiv ivi ncadvreg, K pdara drjffdpsvoC rat <5’ £u Kopiovaiv iMfj ’A vepaz, rjde ^erpa X£%wta rolai nivovrai. \.nd Valerius Flaccus, v. 148 : Inde Genetsei rupem Jovis, hinc Tibarenum a D ant virictoe post terga lacus ; ubi deside mitra Fceta ligat, partuque virum fovet ipsa soluto. The history of mankind hath scarcely furnished any thing more unaccountable than the prevalence of this custom. v\ e meet with it in ancient and modern times, in the old world ana in the new, among nations who could never have had the least intercourse with each other. In Purchas’s Piigrim, it is said to be practised among the Brazilians. At Haerlem, a cambric cockade hung to the door, shows that the woman of the house is brought to bed, and that her husband claims a protection from arrests during the six weeks of his wife’s confinement. Polnitz Memoirs, vol. ii. p. 396. t Raw, inexperienced youths ; or else the beaus and coxcombs of those days, who might delight in green clothes : or perhaps 336 HUDIBRAS. [Part Ok To fall in laDour of a clap ; Both lay the child to one another, But who’s the father, who the mother, ’Tis hard to say in multitudes, 715 Or who imported the French goods.* * But health and sickness b’ing all one, Which both engag’d before to own,t And are not with their bodies bound To worship, only when they’re sound, 720 Both give and take their equal shares Of all they suffer by false wares ; A fate no lover can divert With all his caution, wit, and art : For ’tis in vain to^think to guess 725 At women by appearances, That paint and patch their imperfections Of intellectual complections, And daub their tempers o’er w T ith washes As artificial as their faces ; 730 Wear under vizard-masks their talents And mother-wits before their gallants : he means a new-married couple. Shakspeare, in Hamlet, (Act iv. sc. 5,) says : And we have done but greenly to inter him. * Nicholas Monardes, a physician of Seville, who died 1577, tells us that this disease was supposed to have been brought into Europe at the siege of Naples, from the West Indies, by some of Columbus’s sailors, who accompanied him to Naples on his re- turn from his first voyage. When peace was there made be- tween the French and Spaniards, the armies of both nations had free intercourse, and conversing with the same women, were in- fected by this disorder. The Spaniards thought they had re- ceived the contagion from the French, and the French maintained that it had been communicated to them by the Spaniards. Gu- icciardin, in the end of his second book, dates the origin of this distemper in Europe at the year 1495. Dr. Gascoigne, as quoted by Anthony Wood, says he had known several persons who had died of it in his time. Naples was besiegelPin the reign of our Henry VH., and Dr. Gascoigne lived in the time of Richard II. and Henry VI. His will was proved in the year 1457. The ac- count of Monardes is erroneous in many particulars. Indeed, after all the pains which have been taken by judicious writers, to prove that this disease was brought from America or the West Indies, the fact is not sufficiently established. Perhaps it was gen- erated in Guinea, or some other equinoctial part of Africa. As true, the best writer on this subject, says it was brought from the West Indies between the years 1494 and 1496. t Alluding to the words of the marriage ceremony : so in the following lines, with their bodies bound To worship. Canto i.] HUDIBRAS Until they’re hamper’d in the noose, Too fast to dream of breaking loose ; When all the flaws they strove to hide Are made unready with the bride, That with her wedding-clothes undresses Her complaisance and gentilesses ; Tries all her arts to take upon her The government, from th' easy owner ; Until the wretch is glad to wave His lawful right, and turn her slave ; Find all his having and his holding Reduc’d t’ eternal noise and scolding ; The conjugal petard, that tears Down all portcullices of ears,* And makes the volley of one tongue For all their leathern shields too strong; When only arm’d with noise and nails, The female silkworms ride the males, t Transform ’em into rams and goats, Like syrens, with their charming notes ; Sweet as a screech-owl’s serenade, Or those enchanting murmurs made By th’ husband mandrake, and the wife, Both bury’d, like themselves, alive.t Quoth he, These reasons are but strains Of wanton, over-heated brains, Which ralliers in their wit or drink Do rather wheedle with, than think. Man was not man in paradise, Until he was created twice, And had his better half, his bride, 337 735 740 745 750 755 760 * The poet humorously compares the noise and clamor of a molding wife, which breaks the drum of her husband s ears, to the petard, or short cannon, beating down the gates of a castle, t That is, the females, like silk-worms, gaudy reptiles, i Ancient botanists entertained various conceits about this plant ; in its forked roots they discovered the shapes of men and women ; and the sound which proceeded from its strong fibres, when strained or torn from the ground, they took tor the voice of a human being ; sometimes they imagined- that they had distinctly heard their conversation. The poet takes the liberty of ^larg- ing upon these hints and represents the mandrake husband and wife quarrelling under ground ; a situation, he says, not more uncomfortable than that of a married pair continually at vari- ance, since these, if not in fact, are virtually buried alive. In Columella, lib. x., we have, semihomines mandragorse fiores The Hebrew word, in Genesis, may be disputed Benoit, the historian of the revocation of the edict of Nantz, thought it meant strawberries. Chaufepte, v. Benoit. 15 HUDIBRAS (Tart in. 338 Carv’d from th’ original, his side,* * * § T’ amend his natural defects, 765 And perfect his recruited sex ; Enlarge his breed, at once, and lessen The pains and labour of increasing, By changing them for other cares, As by his dry’d-up paps appears. 77C His body, that stupendous frame, Of all the world the anagram, t Is of two equal parts compact, In shape and symmetry exact, Of which the left and female side 775 Is to the manly right a bride , X Both join’d together with such art, That nothing else but death can part. Those heav’nly attracts of your’s, your eyes, And face, that all the world surprise, 780 That dazzle all that look upon ye, And scorch all other ladies tawny : Those ravishing and charming graces, Are all made up of two half faces That, in a mathematic line, 785 Like those in other heav’ns, join ;§ Of which, if either grew alone, * Thus Cleveland : Adam, ’til his rib was lost, Had the sexes thus engrost. When Providence our sire did cleave, And out of Adam carved Eve, Then did men ’bout wedlock treat, To make his body up complete, f The world in a state of transposition. Man is often called the microcosm, or world in miniature. Anagram is a conceit from the letters of a name transposed; though perhaps with more propriety we might read diagram. t In the Symposium of Plato, Aristophanes, one of the dialo- gists relates, that the human species, at its original formation, consisted not only of males and females, but of a third kind, com- posed of two entire beings of different sexes. This last rebelled against Jupiter; and for a punishment, or to render its attacks the less formidable in future, was completely d : vided. The strong propensity which inclines the separate parts to a reunion, is, according to the same fable, the origin of love. And since it is hardly possible that the dissevered moieties should stumble upon each other, after they have wandered about the earth, we may, upon the same hypothesis, account for the number of un- happy and disproportionate matches which men daily engage in, by saying that they mistake their proper halves. § That is, that join insensibly in an imperceptible line, like the imaginary lines of mathematicians. Other heavens , that is, the real heavens. Canto i.] HUDIBRAS. 339 ’Twould -fright as much to look upon : And so would that sweet bud, your lip, Without the other’s fellowship. 790 Our noblest senses act by pairs, Two eyes to see, to hear two ears ; Th’ intelligencers of the mind, To wait upon the soul design’d : But those that serve the body alone, 795 Are single and confin’d to one. The world is but two parts, that meet And close at th’ equinoctial fit ; And so are all the works of nature, Stamp’d with her signature on matter \ 800 Which all her creatures, to a leaf, Or smallest blade of grass, receive.* * * § All which sufficiently declare How entirely marriage is her care, The only method that she uses, 805 In all the wonders she produces ; And those that take their rules from her Can never be deceiv’d, nor err : For what secures the civil life, But pawns of children, and a wife ?t 810 That lie, like hostages, at stake, To pay for all men undertake ; To whom it is as necessary, As to be born and breathe, to marry ; So universal, all mankind 815 In nothing else is of one mind : For in what stupid age, or nation, Was marriage ever out of fashion 'll Unless among the iVmazons, Or cloister’d friars and vestal nuns,§ 820 Or stoics, who, to bar the freaks And loose excesses of the sex, Prepost’rously would have all women Turn’d up to all the world in common ;|| * The sexual differences of plants, t Qui liberos genuit, obsides fortunae dedit. i The general prevalence of matrimony is a good argument for its use and continuance. § The Amazons were women of Scythian extraction, settled in Cappadocia, who, as Justin tells us, avoided marriage, ac- counting it no better than servitude. Cloistered friars, so termed by the poet, because they take a vow of celibacy like the vestals in ancient Rome. The poor vestal nuns must have a place in the catalogue. . || Diogenes asserted, that marriage was nothing but an empty 340 HUDIBRAS. [Part in. 825 Tho’ men would find such mortal feuds In sharing of their public goods, ’T would put them to more charge of lives, Than they’re supply’d with now by wives ; Until they graze and wear their clothes, As beasts do, of their native growths :* * 830 For simple wearing of their horns Will not suffice to serve their turns. For what can we pretend t’ inherit, Unless the marriage deed will bear it ? Could claim no right to lands or rents, 835 But for our parents’ settlements ; Had been but younger sons o’ th’ earth, Debarr’d it all, but for our birth.t What honours, or estates of peers, Could be preserv’d but by their heirs ? 840 And what security maintains Their right and title, but the bans ? What crowns could be hereditary, If greatest monarchs did not marry, And with their consorts consummate 845 Their weightiest interests of state ? For all th’ amours of princes are But guarantees of peace or war. Or what but marriage has a charm, The rage of empires to disarm ? 850 Make blood and desolation cease, And fire and sword unite in peace, When all their fierce contests for forage Conclude in articles of marriage ? Nor does the genial bed provide 855 Less for the int’rests of the bride, Who else had not the least pretence T’ as much as due benevolence ; y name. And Zeno, the father of the stoics, maintained that all women ought to be common, that no words were obscene, and no parts of the body needed to be covered. * i. e. such intercommunity of women would be productive of the worst consequences, unless mankind were already reduced to the most barbarous state of nature, and men become altogether brutes. t If there had been no matrimony, we should have had no provision made for us by our forefathers ; but, like younger chil- dren of our primitive parent the earth, should have been exclu- ded from every possession. He seems to reflect obliquely upon the common method of distributing the properties of families so much in favor of the elder branches, the younger sons not inher- iting the land. HUDIBRAS. Canto i.] Could no more title take upon her To virtue, quality, and honour, Than ladies errant unconfin’d, And femme-coverts t’ all mankind. All women would be of one piece, The virtuous matron, and the miss ; The nymphs of chaste Diana’s train, The same with those in Lewkner’s-lane,* * * § But for the diff’rence marriage makes ’Twixt wives and ladies of the lakes :+ Besides, the joys of place and birth The sex’s paradise on earth, t A privilege so sacred held, That none will to their mothers yield ; But rather than not go before, Abandon heaven at the door :§ And if th’ indulgent law allows A greater freedom to the spouse, The reason is, because the wife Runs greater hazards of her life ; Is trusted with the form and matter Of all mankind, by careful nature, Where man brings nothing but the stuff She frames the wond’rous fabric of ;|J 341 . 860 865 870 875 880 * A street in the neighborhood of Drury-lane or St. Giles’s, inhabited chiefly by strumpets. t Alluding to the old romance of Sir Lancelot and the Lady of the Lake. Mr. JVarburton. But the corrected edition reads lakes in the plural number ; and perhaps we may look for these ladies elsewhere in the lagunes of Venice, certain streets in Westminster, or Lambeth Marsh, Bankside, & c. &c. \Lake> to play ; from the Gothic and Saxon, laikan. Used in the north of England. Todd.] \ Thus Mr. Pope : For sylphs, yet mindful of their ancient race, Are, as when women, wond’rous fond of place. Our poet, though vindicating the ladies and the happy estate of matrimony, cannot help introducing this stroke of satire : Bas- tards have no place, or rank. . . § That is, not go to church at all, if they have not their right of precedence. Chaucer says of the wife of Bath, 451 : In all the parish wif ne was there non, That to the oftring before hire shulde gon, And if ther did, certain so wroth was she, That she was out of aile charitee. f| Various have been the attempts to explain the mystery of generation. Aristotle, Harvey, Lewenhoek, Drake, and Bartho- line, have produced their different hypotheses. But from fur- ther discoveries in anatomy, supported by the strictest analogy throughout the animal and vegetable kingdoms, it appears that HUDIBRAS. [Part in. 342 Who therefore, in a strait, may freely Demand the clergy of her belly,* * * * § And make it save her the same way, 885 It seldom misses to betray ;t Unless both parties wisely enter Into the liturgy-indenture. And tho’ some fits of small contest Sometimes fall out among the best, S90 . That is no more than ev’ry lovei Does from his hackney lady suffer ; That makes no breach of faith and love. But rather, sometimes, serves t’ improve ;1 For as, in running, ev’ry pace 895 Is but between two legs a race, In which both do their uttermost To get before, and win the post ; Yet when they’re at their race’s ends, They’re still as kind and constant friends, 900 And, to relieve their weariness, By turns give one another ease ; So all those false alarms of strife Between the husband and the wife, And little quarrels often prove 905 To be but new recruits of love ; When those who’re always kind or coy, In time must either tire or cloy.§ the female furnishes the germ or ovum, which is only impregna- ted by the male : or, in the words of Mr. Hunter, the female pro- duces a seed, in which is the matter fitted for the first arrange- ment of the organs of the animal, and which receives the prin- ciple of arrangement fitting it for action, from the male. * As benefit of clergy may be craved in some cases of felony : so pregnant women, who have received sentence of death, may demand or crave a respite from execution, till after they are de- livered. t As their big bellies betray their incontinence, so they some times save their lives. t Amantium irse, amoris integratio est. Ter. And. iii. sc. iii. 23. In amore haec omnia insunt vitia ; injuriae, Suspiciones, inimicitiEB, inducise, Bellum, pax rursum. Id. Eun. I. sc. i. 14. § Coy seems to be used in the French sense, for quiet, or still It has this signification both in Chaucer and Douglas. [A pas sage quoted by archdeacon Nares under the verb to coy , will ex- plain Butler’s meaning : And while she coys his sooty cheeks, and curies his sweaty top Warner’s Alb. Engl. B. vi. p. 148. And the following line from an old poem, “ William and the Canto i.] HUDIBRAS. Nor are their loudest clamours more Than as they’re relish’d, sweet or sour ; Like music, that proves bad or good, According as ’tis understood. In all amours a lover burns With frowns, as well as smiles, by turns ; And hearts have been as oft with sulles», As charming looks, surpriz’d and stolen Then why should more bewitching clamour Some lovers not as much enamour ? For discords make the sweetest airs, And curses are a kind of pray’rs ; Too slight alloys for all those grand Felicities by marriage gain’d : For nothing else has pow’r to settle Th’ interests of love perpetual ; An act and deed that makes one heart Become another’s counter-part, And passes fines on faith and love,* Inroll’d and register’d above. To seal the slippery knots of vows, Which nothing else but death can loose. And what security’s too strong To guard that gentle heart from wrong, That to its friend is glad to pass Itself away, and all it has, And, like an anchorite, gives over This world, for t,h’ heav’n of a lover If I grant, quoth she, there are some few Who take that course, and find it true ; But millions, whom the same does sentence To heav’n b’ another way, repentance. Love’s arrows are but shot at rovers, f Tho’ all they hit they turn to lovers, And all the weighty consequents Depend upon more blind events Than gamesters when they play a set, With greatest cunning, at piquet 343 910 915 920 925 930 935 940 945 Werwolf,” may be interesting on a word that has been used in such opposite senses : Acoyed it [a child] to come to him and clepud it oft.] * That is, makes them irrevocable, and secures the title ; as passing a fine in law does a conveyance or settlement. t Mr. Butler, I hope, has now made amends for his former in- civility. In this speech the knight has defended the ladies, and the married state, with great gallantry, wit, and good sense, t That is, shot at random, passim, temere. 344 HUDIBRAS. [Part m Put out with caution, but take in They know not what, unsight, unseen. For what do lovers, when they’re fast In one another’s arms embrac’d, 950 But strive to plunder, and convey Each other, like a prize, away ?* To change the property of selves, As sucking children are by elves ? And if they use their persons so, 955 What will they to their fortunes do ? Their fortunes ! the perpetual aims Of all their extacies and flames. For when the money’s on the book, And “ all my worldly goods” — but spoke, t 96C The formal livery and seisin That puts a lover in possession ; To that alone the bridegroom’s wedded, The bride a flam that’s superseded ; To that their faith is still made good, 965 And all the oaths to us they vow’d ; For when we once resign our pow’rs, We ’ve nothing left we can call ours : Our money’s now become the miss Of all your lives and services ; 970 And we forsaken and postpon’d, But bawds to what before we own’d ;t Which, as it made y’ at first gallant us, So now hires others to supplant us, Until ’tis all turn’d Out of doors, 975 As we had been, for new amours. For what did ever heiress yet, By being born to lordships get ? When the more lady she’s of manors, She’s but expos’d to more trepanners, 980 Pays for their projects and designs, And for her own destruction fines ; And does but tempt them with her riches, To use her as the dev’l does witches, * Quae me surpuerat mihi. Hor. lib. iv. od. 13. But such writers as Petronius best explain the spirit of this passage, were it fit to be explained. Transfudimus hinc et hinc label lis errantes animas. t Alluding to the form of marriage in the common prayer- book, where the fee is directed to be put upon the book, and the bridegroom endows the bride with all his worldly goods. + That is, are procurers of the Miss, our money, which we before owned. Canto i.] HUDIBRAS. 345 Who takes it for a special grace, To be their cully for a space, That, when the time’s expir’d, the drazels* For ever may become his vassals • So she, bewitch’d by rooks and spirits, Betrays herself, and all sh’ inherits ; Is bought and sold, like stolen goods, By pimps, and match-makers, and bawds ; Until they force her to convey And steal the thief himself away. These are the everlasting fruits Of all your passionate love-suits, Th’ effects of all your am’rous fancies, To portions and inheritances ; Your love-sick raptures for fruition Of dowry, jointure, and tuition ; To which you make address and courtship, And with your bodies strive to worship, That th’ infant’s fortunes may partake Of love too,+ for the mother’s sake. For these you play at purposes, And love your loves with A’s and B’s ; For these, at Beste and l’Ombre woo, And play for love and money too ;t Strive who shall be the ablest man At right gallanting of a fan ; 986 990 995 1000 1005 1010 * The mean, low wretches, or draggle-tails. Braids , I be- lieve, means vagrants, from an old French word, draseler, a vaga- bond ; draser, the same as vaguer : the words signify the same in Dutch. Thus Warner, in his Albion’s England : Now does each drazel in her glass, when I was young I wot, On holydays (for seldom else) such idle time was got. \ Draseler is not to be found in Roquefort, Furetierre, nor Rich eiet, nor is it in the Dutch Dictionaries of Halma nor Winckel- man ; but dras , in Dutch, is mud ; and as Grose explains dram , a dirty slut, and gives the word to the southern part ot England, the Dutch language may have in this case enriched our vocabu- lary, and we need not go with Todd and Nares to drotchell and ^t^That is, the widow’s children by a former husband, that are under age, to whom the lover would be glad to be guardian, as well as have the management of the jointure. t The widow, in these and the following lines, gives no bad sketch of a person who endeavors to retrieve his circumstances by marriage, and practises every method in his power to recom- mend himself to his rich mistress : he plays with her at ques- tions and commands, endeavors to divert her with cards, puts himself in masquerade, flirts her fan, talks of flames and darts, aches and sufferings ; which last, the poet intimates, might more justly be attributed to other causes. HUDIBRAS. [Part iil 346 And who the most genteelly bred At sucking of a vizard-bead ;* * * § How best t’ accost us in all quarters, T’ our question and command new garters ;t And solidly discourse upon 1015 All sorts of dresses pro and con : For there’s no mystery nor trade, But in the art of love is made ;t And when you have more debts to pay Than Michaelmas and Lady-day, § 1020 And no way possible to do ’t But love and oaths, and restless suit, To us y’ apply, to pay the scores Of all your c ully ’d past amours ; Act o’er your flames and darts again, 1025 And charge us with your wounds and pain ; Which other’s influences long since Have charm’d your noses with, and shins ; For which the surgeon is unpaid, And like to be, without our aid. 1030 Lord ! what an am’rous thing is want ! How debts and mortgages enchant ! What graces must that lady have, That can from executions save ! What charms, that can reverse extent, 1035 And null decree and exigent ! What magical attracts, and graces, That can redeem from scire facias !|| From bonds and statutes can discharge, * Masks were kept close to the face, by a bead fixed to the in- side of them, and held in the mouth. t At the vulgar play of questions and commands, a forfeiture often was to take off a lady’s garter : expecting this therefore the lady provided herself with new ones. Or she might be com- manded to make the gentleman a present of a pair of new garters. t That is, made use of, or practised. § These are the two principal rent-days in the year : unpleas- ant days to the tenant, and not satisfactory to the landlord, when his debts exceed his rents. || Here the poet shows bis knowledge of the law, and law terms, which he always uses with great propriety. Execution is obtaining possession of any thing recovered by judgment of law. Extent, the estimate of lands to their utmost value by the sheriff and jury, in order to satisfy a bond, or other engagement forfeited. Exigent is a writ requiring a person to appear ; it lies where the defendant in an action personal cannot be found, or any thing in the county, whereby he may be distrained. Scire *acias , a writ to show cause why execution of judgment should not go out. Canto i.] HUDIBRAS. And from contempts of courts enlarge ! These are the highest excellencies Of all your true or false pretences ; And you would damn yourselves, and*sweai As much t’ an hostess dowager, Grown fat and pursy by retail Of pots of beer and bottled ale, And, find her fitter for your turn, For fat is wondrous apt to burn ; Who at your flames would soon take fire, Relent, and melt to your desire, And like a candle in the socket, Dissolve her graces int’ your pocket. By this time ’twas grown dark and late, When th’ hearcj a knocking at the gate Laid on in haste, with such a powder, The blows grew louder still and louder : Which Hudibras, as if they ’ad been Bestow’d as freely on his skin, Expounding by his inward light, Or rather more prophetic fright, To be the wizard, come to search, And take him napping in the lurch, Turn’d pale as ashes, or a clout ; But why, or wherefore, is a doubt : For men will tremble, and turn paler, With too much, or too little valour. His heart laid on, as if it try’d To force a passage through his side,* Impatient, as he vow’d, to wait ’em, But in a fury to fly at ’em ; And therefore beat, and laid about, To find a cranny to creep out. But she, who saw in what a taking The Knight was by his furious quaking, Undaunted cry’d, Courage, sir Knight, Know I’m resolv’d to break no rite Of hospitality t’ a stranger ; But, to secure you out of danger, Will here myself stand sentinel, To guard this pass ’gainst Sidrophel : Women, you know, do seldom fail To make the stoutest men turn tail. And bravely scorn to turn their backs, Upon the desp’ratest attacks. 34 ? 1040 1045 1050 1055 1060 1065 1070 1075 1089 ' E/cropi r* avru) dvnog hi sriQeaai iraracroev . II. vii. 216. HUDIBRAS. 348 [Part m. At this the Knight grew resolute, As Ironside, or Hardiknute His fortitude began to rally, And out he # cry’d aloud, to sally ; But she besought him to convey His courage rather out o’ t.h’ way, And lodge in ambush on the floor, Or fortify’d behind a door, That, if the enemy should enter, He might relieve her in th’ adventure. Meanwhile they knock’d against the doo' , As fierce as at the gate before ; Which made the renegado Knight Relapse again t’ his former fright. He thought it desperate to stay Till th’ enemy had forc’d his way, But rather post himself, to serve The lady for a fresh reserve. His duty was not to dispute, But what she ’ad order’d execute ; Which he resolv’d in naste t’ obey, And therefore stoutly march’d away. And all h’ encounter’d fell upon, Tho’ in the dark, and all alone ; Till fear, that braver feats performs Than ever courage dar’d in arms, Had drawn him up before a pass, To stand upon his guard, and face ; This he courageously invaded, And, having enter’d, barricado’d ; Ensconc’d himself as formidable As could be underneath a table ; Where he lay down in ambush close, T’ expect th’ arrival of his foes. Few minutes he had lain perdue, To guard his desp’rate avenue, Before he heard a dreadful shout, As loud as putting to the rout, With which impatiently alarm’d. He fancy’d th’ enemy had storm’d. And after ent’ring, Sidrophel Was fall’n upon the guards pellmell ; He therefore sent out all his senses To bring him in intelligences, 1085 1090 1095 1100 1105 1110 1115 1120 1125 * Two princes celebrated for their valor in our histories. The former lived about the year 1016, the latter 1097. HUDIBRAS. 349 Canto i.] Which vulgars, out of ignorance, Mistake for falling in a trance ; But those that trade in geomancy,* Affirm to be the strength of fancy ; In which the Lapland magi deal, And things incredible reveal. Mean while the foe beat up his quarters, And storm’d the outworks of his fortress ; And as another of the same Degree and party, in arms and fame, That in the same cause had engag’d, And war with equal conduct wag’d, By vent’ring only but to thrust His head a span beyond his post, B’ a gen’ral of the cavaliers Was dragg’d thro’ a window by the ears :t So he was serv’d in his redoubt, And by the other end pull’d out. Soon as they had him at their mercy, They put him to the cudgel fiercely, As if they scorn’d to trade and bar ter, t By giving, or by taking quarter : They stoutly on his quarters laid, Until his scouts came in t’ his aid :§ For when a man is past his sense, There’s no way to reduce him thence, But twinging him by th’ ears or nose, Or laying on of heavy blows : 1130 1135 1140 1145 1150 1155 * A sort of divination by clefts or chinks in the ground. Poly- dore Virgil de inventione rerum, supposes it to have been invent- ed by the magi of Persia. . , ' * t A right honorable gentleman of high character, now living* assured me that this circumstance happened to one of his rela- tions Sir Richard (Dr. Grey calls him Sir Erasmus) Philips, of Picton castle, in Pembrokeshire. The Cavaliers, commanded by Colonel Egerton, attacked this place, and demanded a parley. Sir Richard consented; and being a little man, stepped upon a bench, and showed himself at one of the windows. The Colonel, who was high in stature, sat on horseback underneath ; and pretending to be deaf, desired the other to come as near him as he could. Sir Richard then leaned a good deal irom the win- dow; when the Colonel seized him by the ears, and drew him out. ’ Soon after, the castle surrendered. . m „ , __ t Pyrrhus says to the Romans, from Ennius, in Tully s OWr CCS * Nec mi aurum posco, nec mi pretium dederitis ; Nec cauponantes bellum, sed belligerantes, Ferro, non auro vitam cernamus utrique. $ L e. till his senses returned. * Earl of Orford 350 HIjDIBRAS. [Tart m And if that will not do the deed, To burning with hot irons proceed. No sooner was he come t’ himself But on his neck a sturdy elf 1160 Clapp’d in a trice his cloven hoof, And thus attack’d him with reproof. Mortal, thou art betray’d to us B’ our friend, thy evil genius, Who for thy horrid perjuries, 1165 Thy breach of faith, and turning lies. The brethren’s privilege, against The wicked, on themselves, the saints, Has here thy wretched carcass sent, For just revenge and punishment ; 1170 Which thou hast now no way to lessen, But by an open, free confession :* For if we catch thee failing once, ’Twill fall the heavier on thy bones. What made thee venture to betray, 1175 And filch the lady’s heart away, To spirit her to matrimony ? — That which contracts all matches, money. It was th’ enchantment of her riches, That made m’ apply t’ your crony witches ;t 1180 That in return would pay th’ expence, The wear and tear of conscience, t * This scene is imitated, but with much less wit and learn- ing, in a poem called Dunstable Downs, falsely attributed to Mr. Samuel Butler. See the third volume of the Remains. In that poem, whoever was the author, the allusion to the high court of justice, and trial of Charles the First, is apposite. See Brad shaw s speech to the king : This court is independent on All forms, and methods, but its own. And will not be directed by The persons they intend to try. And I must tell you, you’re mistaken, If you propose to save your bacon, By pleading to your jurisdiction, Which will admit of no restriction. Here’s no appeal, nor no demurrer, Nor after judgment writ of error. If you persist to quirk or quibble, And on your terms of law to nibble, The court’s determin’d to proceed, Whether you do, or do not plead. T Your old friends and companions i The knight confesses that he would have sacrificed his con- science to money. In reality, he had gotten rid of it long hefor* Canto l] HUDIBRAS. 351 Which I could have patch’d up, and turn’d, For th’ hundredth part of what I earn’d. Didst thou not love her then ? Speak true. 1185 No more, quoth he, than I love you.— How would’st thou’ve us’d her, and her money 1 First turn’d her up to alimony,*' And laid her dowry out in law, To null her jointure with a flaw, 1190 Which I beforehand had agreed T’ have put, on purpose, in the deed, And bar her widow’s-making-over T’ a friend in trust, or private lover. What made thee pick and chuse her out 1195 T’ employ their sorceries about ? — That which makes gamesters play with those Who have least wit, and most to lose. But didst thou scourge thy vessel thus, As thou hast damn’d thyself to us ?— 120( I see you take me for an ass : ’Tis true, I thought the trick would pass, Upon a woman, well enough, As ’t has been often found by proof, Whose humours are not to be won But when they are impos’d upon ; For love approves of all they do That stand for candidates, and woo. Why didst thou forge those shameful lies Of bears and witches in disguise ?— That is no more than authors give The rabble credit to believe ; A trick of following the leaders, To entertain their gentle readers ; And we have now no other way Of passing all we do or say ; Which, when ’tis natural and truo, Will be believ’d b’ a very few, Beside the danger of offence, The fatal enemy of sense. Why dost thou chuse that cursed sin, t Hypocrisy, to set up in ? — Because it is the thriving’st calling, The only saints’ bell that rings all in ;+ 1205 1210 1215 1220 * To provide for herself, as horses do when they are turned to grass. The poet might possibly design a jeu de mot. is a separate maintenance paid by the husband to the wife, where she is not convicted of adultery. t The small bell, which rings immediately before the minister 352 HUDIBRAS. [Part iu 1225 In which all churches are concern’d, And is the easiest to be learn’d : For no degrees, unless th’ employ it, Can ever gain much, or enjoy it. A gift that is not only able To domineer among the rabble, 1230 But by the laws empower’d to rout, And awe the greatest that stand out ; Which few hold forth against, for fear Their hands should slip, and come too near ; For no sin else, among the saints, ' 235 Is taught so tenderly against. What made thee break thy plighted vows? — That which makes others break a house, And hang, and scorn ye all, before Endure the plague of being poor * * 1240 Quoth he, I see you have more tricks Than all your doating politics, That are grown old and out of fashion, Compar’d with your new reformation ; That we must come to school to you, 1245 To learn your more refin’d and new. Quoth he, If you will give me leave To tell you what I now perceive, You’ll find yourself an arrant chouse If y’ were but at a meeting-house. 1250 ’Tis true, quoth he, we ne’er come there, Because w’ have let ’m out by th’ year.f Truly, quoth he, you can’t imagine What wond’rous things they will engage in ; That as your fellow fiends in hell 1255 Were angels all before they fell, So are you like to be agen, Compar’d with th’ angels of us men.t begins the church service, is called the saints’ bell ; and when the clerk has rung this bell, he says, “he has rung all in.” * Scorn , that is, defy your law and punishment, t The devils are here looked upon as landlords of the meeting houses, since the tenants of them were known to be so diabolical, and to hold them by no good title ; but as it was uncertain how long these lawless times would last, the poet makes the devil let them only by the year: now when any thing is actually let, we landlords never come there, that is, have excluded ourselves from all right to the premises. t I remember an old attorney, who told me, a little before his death, that he had been reckoned a very great rascal, and be- lieved he was so, for he had done many roguish and infamous things in his profession : “ but,” adds he, “ by what I can observe ‘of the rising generation, the time may come, and you may live HUDIBRAS. 353 Canto i.] Quoth he, I am resolv’d to be Thy scholar in this mystery ; And therefore first desire to know Some principles on which you go. What makes a knave a child of God,* * * * § And one of us?t — A livelihood. What renders beating out of brains, And murder, godliness? — Great gains. What’s tender conscience ? — ’Tis a botch That will not bear the gentlest touch ; But, breaking out, dispatches more Than th’ epidemical’st plague-sore.t What makes y’ encroach upon our trade, And damn all others? — To be paid. What’s orthodox and true believing ^ Against a conscience ? — A good living.§ What makes rebelling against kings A good old cause? — Administ’rings.|| What makes all doctrines plain and clear ? — About two hundred pounds a year. And that which was prov’d true before, Prov’d false again?— Two hundred more. What makes the breaking of all oaths A holy duty? — Food and clothes. What laws and freedom, persecution ?— B’ing out of power, and contribution. What makes a church a den of thieves ? — 1260 1265 1270 1275 1280 1285 “to see it, when I shall be accounted a very honest man, in “ comparison with those attorneys who are to succeed me. * A banter on the pamphlets in those days, under the name and form of catechisms: Heylin’s Rebel’s Catechism, Watson s Cavalier Catechism, Ram’s Soldier’s Catechism, Parker s Political Catechism, &c. &c. , . , t Both Presbyterians and Independents were fond of saying one of us; that is, one of the holy brethren, the elect number, th ± AUudingTo the plague, of which, in our author’s time, viz. in 1665, died 68,586 persons, within the bills of mortality. § A committee was appointed November 11, 1646, to inquire into the value of all church-livings, in order to plant an able ministry as was pretended ; but, in truth, to discover the best and fattest benefices, that the champions for the cause might choose for themselves. Whereof some had three or four a-piece : alack being pretended of competent pastors. When a living was small, the church doors were shut up. Du S^ le ,? r f 1 1 ? Q 0 ^ t View “I could name an assembly-man, says Sir William Dugdale, “who being told by an eminent person, that a certain « church had no incumbent, inquired the value of it ; and *e- w ceiving for answer that it was about .£50 a year, he said, it i “ ‘ be no better worth, no godly man will accept it. U — Administerings. See P. iii. c. ii. v. 55. 354 HUDIBRAS. [Part in A dean and chapter, and white sleeves.* * * § And what would serve, if those were gone, To make it orthodox ? — Our own. What makes morality a crime, t The most notorious of the time ; 1290 Morality, which both the saints And wicked too cry out against ? — ’Cause grace and virtue are within Prohibited degrees of kin ; And therefore no true saint allows 1295 They shall be suffer’d to espouse : For saints can need no conscience, That with morality dispense ; As virtue’s impious, when ’tis rooted In nature only, and not imputed : 1300 But why the wicked should do so, We neither know, nor care to do.t What’s liberty of conscience, I’ th’ natural and genuine sense ? — ’Tis to restore, with more security, 1305 Rebellion to its ancient purity ; And Christian liberty reduce To th’ elder practice of the Jews ; For a large conscience is all one, And signifies the same with none.§ 1310 It is enough, quoth he, for once, And has repriev’d thy forfeit bones : Nick Machiavel had ne’er a trick, Tho’ he gave his name to our old Nickjj * That is, a bishop who wears lawn sleeves, t Moral goodness was deemed a mean attainment, and much beneath the character of saints, who held grace and inspiration to be all meritorious, and virtue to have no merit; nay, some even thought virtue impious, when it is rooted only in nature, and not imputed ; some of the modern sects are supposed to hold tenets not very unlike to this. X The author shows his abhorrence of vice, in whatever party it was found, by satirizing the loose principles of the cavaliers. § It is reported of Judge Jefferys, that taking a dislike to a witness who had a long beard, he told him that, “ if his con- “ science was as long as his beard, he had a swinging one to which the countryman replied, “ My lord, if you measure con- science by beards, you yourself have none at all.” || Machiavel was recorder of Florence in the 16th century, an eminent historian, and consummate politician. In a note on the Merry Wives of Windsor, and in Dr. Grey’s edition of Hudibras, Mr Warburton has altered this passage. He reads the last line ■ Though he gave aim to our old Nick. But as all the editions published by the author himself, or in the author’s lifetime, have the word name, I am unwilling to change Canto x.] HUDIBRAS. 355 But was below the least of these, That pass i’ th’ world, for holiness. This said, the furies and the light In th’ instant vanish’d out of sight. And left him in the dark alone. With stinks of brimstone and his own. The queen of night, whose large command Rules all the sea, and half the land,* * * * § And over moist and crazy brains, In high spring-tides, at midnight reigns, t Was now declining to the west, To go to bed and take her rest ;t When Hudibras, whose stubborn blows Deny’d his bones that soft repose, § Lay still expecting worse and more, Stretch’d out at length upon the floor ; And tho’ he shut his eyes as fast As if he ’ad been to sleep his last, Saw all the shapes that fear or wizards, 1315 1320 1325 1 m it. Mr. Butler, who seems well versed in the Saxon and north- ern etymologies, could not be ignorant that the terms nicka, nocca, nicken, and from thence the English, old nick, were used to signify the devil, long before the time of Machiavel. A ma- lignant spirit is named old nicka , in Sir William Temple’s Essay on Poetry. [ Necken , dsemon aquaticus. Dan. nicken, nocken. Germ, nicks. L. B. nocca. Isl. nikur. Angl. nick. Belg. necker. Putatur in fluviis et lacubus residere, et natantes per pedes ar- reptos ad se pertrahere. — Ihre Gloss. Suiogothicum.J When Machiavel is represented as such a proficient in wickedness, that his name hath become no unworthy appellation for the devil himself, we are not less entertained by the smartness of the sentiment, than we should be if it were firmly supported by the truth ol history. In the second canto, Empedocles is said to have been acquainted with the writings of Alexander Ross, who did not live till about 2000 years after him. A hu morous kind of wit, in which the droll genius of Butler does not scruple to indulge itself. „ , * The moon, which influences the tides and mouons of the sea, and half mankind, who are lunatic, more or less. Nunc terram potius quam mare luna regit. Outran Kmcr. Ufl_ The poem had now occupied two days, and almost two nights f Insane persons are supposed to be worst at the change and full of the moon, when the tides are highest. f He had before described the approach of day by the rising of the sun : he now employs the setting of the moon for that purpose. § Lenibant curas, et corda oblita laborum. At non infelix animi Phcenissa ; neque unquam Solvitur in somnos, oculisve aut pectore noctem Accipit: ingeminant curse. iEneid. iv. 528. 356 HUDIBRAS. [Part iil Do make the devil wear for vizards,* * And pricking up his ears, to hark 1335 If he could hear, too, in the dark, Was first invaded with a groan, And after, in a feeble tone, These trembling words : Unhappy wretch, What hast thou gotten by this fetch, 1340 Or all thy tricks, in this new trade, Thy holy brotherhood o’ th’ blade ?t By sauntring still on some adventure, And growing to thy horse a centaur? To stuff thy skin with swelling knobs 1345 Of cruel and hard-wooded drubs ? For still thou’st had the worst on’t yet, As well in conquest as defeat : Night is the sabbath of mankind, To rest the body and the mind,t 1350 Which now thou art deny’d to keep, And cure thy labour’d corpse with sleep. The Knight, who heard the words, explain’d ^ * It may be amusing to compare this burlesque with the seri- ous sublime of Milton. Paradise Lost, ii. 625 • all monstrous, all prodigious things, Abominable, unutterable, and worse Than fables yet have feign’d, or fear conceiv’d, Gorgons and hydras, and chimseras dire, t This religious knight-errantry : this search after trifling of- fences, with intent to punish them as crying sins. Ralpho who now supposed himself alone, see Part iii. canto iii. v. 89, vents his sorrows in this soliloquy, or expostulation, which is so art- fully worded, as equally to suit his own case, and the knight’s, and to censure the conduct of both. Hence the latter applies the whole as meant and directed to himself, and comments upon it accordingly to v. 1400, after which the squire improves on his masters mistake, and counterfeits the ghost in earnest. Com- pare Part iii. c. iii. v. 151-158. This seems to have been But- ler s meaning, though not readily to be collected from his words : his readers are left in the dark almost as much as his heroes Bishop Warburton supposes that the term holy brotherhood al- ludes to the society instituted in Spain, called La Santa Her- mandad, employed in detecting and apprehending thieves and robbers, and executing other parts of the police. See them fre- quently mentioned in Don Uuixote, Gil Bias, &c. X Plutarch thus addresses the superstitious person: “Heaven gave us sleep, as a relief and respite from our affliction. Why * W1 ” y° l ] convert this gift into a painful instrument of torture : and a durable one too, since there is no other sleep for yout soul to flee to. Heraclitus says, that to men who are awake « ther i®i 1S . common world ; but every one who sleeps is in a ^ world of his own. Yet not even in sleep is the superstitious man released from his troubles: his reason indeed slumbers, but his fears are ever awake, and he can neither escape from them nor dislodge them.” De Superstitione. Canto i.J HUDIBRAS. 357 As meant to him this reprimand, Because the character did hit 1355 Point-blank upon his case so fit ; Believ’d it was some drolling spright That staid upon the guard that night, And one of those he ’ad seen, and felt The drubs he had so freely dealt ; _ 1 360 When, after a short pause and groan, The doleful Spirit thus went on : This ’tis t’ engage with dogs and bears Pellmell together by the ears, And after painful bangs and knocks, 1365 To lie in limbo in the stocks, And from the pinnacle of glory Fall headlong into purgatory ; Thought he, this devil’s full of malice, That on my late disasters rallies, 1370 Condemn’d to whipping, but declin’d it, By being more heroic-minded ; And at a riding handled worse, With treats more slovenly and coarse ;* Engag’d with fiends in stubborn wars, 1375 And hot disputes with conjurers ; And, when thou ’adst bravely won the day, Wast fain to steal thyself away. I see, thought he, this shameless elf Would fain steal me too from myself, 1380 That impudently dares to own What I have suffer’d for and done ; And now, but vent’ring to betray, Hast met with vengeance the same way. Thought he, how does the devil know 1385 What ’twas that I design’d to do ? His office of intelligence, His oracles, are ceas’d long since ; And he knows nothing of the saints, But what some treach’rous spy acquaints. 1390 This is some pettifogging fiend, Some under doorkeeper’s friend’s friend, That undertakes to understand, And juggles at the second-hand, And now would pass for spirit Po,+ 1395 * This shows the meaning of the riding dispensation, 1. 124. t Po, or Bo, the son of Odin, was a fierce Gothic captain, whose name was repeated by his soldiers to surprise or frighten their enemies. See Sir William Temple’s fourth essay. [Mr. Todd says, the northern Captain will suffer no great loss, if the 358 HUDIBRAS. [Part id And all men’s dark concerns foreknow. I think I need not fear him for ’t ; These rallying devils do no hurt. With that he rous’d his drooping heart, And hastily cried out, What art ? — 1400 A wretch, quoth he, whom want of grace Has brought to this unhappy place. I do believe thee, quoth the Knight ; Thus far I’m sure thou’rt in the right ; And know what ’tis that troubles thee, 1405 Better than thou hast guess’d of me. Thou art some paltry, blackguard spright, Condemn’d to drudg’ry in the night ; Thou hast no work to do in th’ house, Nor halfpenny to drop in shoes ;* * 1410 Without the raising of which sum You dare not be so troublesome To pinch the slatterns black and blue, For leaving you their work to do. This is your bus’ness, good Pug-Robin, 1415 And your diversion dull dry bobbing, t etymology be transferred from his redoubted name to the Dutch bauw , a spectre ; but probably Minsheu gives the clue to this most grave etymology when, after a bugge, a bugbear, he says Belgic, Bietebauw, Beetebauw, a bijten, i. mordere et bauw, i. vox fictitia a sono quo solent infantes territare.] * Servant-maids were told, if they left the house clean when they went to bed, they would find money in their shoes ; if dirty, they would be pinched in their sleep. Thus the old ballad of Robin Goodfellow, who perhaps was the sprite meant by Pug Robin : When house or hearth doth sluttish lie, I pinch the maids both black and blue : And from the bed, the bedcloths I Pull off, and lay them nak’d to view. Again, speaking of fairies : Such sort of creatures as would bast ye A kitchen wench for being nasty : But if she neatly scour her pewter, Give her the money that is due to her. Every night before we goe, We drop a tester in her shoe. See also Parnell and Shakspeare, in many places, t Robin Goodfellow, in the creed of ancient superstition, was a kind of merry sprite, whose character and achievements are frequently recorded, particularly in the well-known lines of Mil- ton. In an ancient ballad, entitled Robin Goodfellow : From hag-bred Merlin’s time have I Thus nightly revel I’d to and fro, And for my pranks men call me by The name of Robin Goodfellow ; HUDIBRAS. 359 Canto i.] T’ entice fanatics in the dirt, And wash ’em clean in ditches for’t Of which conceit you are so proud, At ev’ry jest you laugh aloud, 1420 As now you would have done by me, But that I barr’d your raillery. Sir, quoth the voice, ye ’re no such sophy t As you would have the world judge of ye. If you design to weigh our talents 1425 I’ th’ standard of your own false balance, Or think it possible to know Us ghosts, as well as we do you, We w|^ have been the everlasting Companions of your drubs and basting, 1430 And never left you in contest, With male or female, man or beast, But prov’d as true t’ ye, and entire, In all adventures, as your Squire. Quoth he, That may be said as true 1435 By th’ idlest pug of all your crew ; For none could have betray’d us worse ; Than those allies of ours and yours.{ But I have sent him for a token To your low-country Hogen-Mogen, 144C To whose infernal shores I hope He’ll swing like skippers in a rope : And if ye’ve been more just to me As I am apt to thinks than he, Fiends, ghosts, and sprightes, Who haunt the nightes, The hags and goblins do me know, And beldames old My feates have told, So vale, vale, ho, ho, ho. [Puck, Pug, Pouke ; a fiend. Puke, Diabolus. lhre Gloss Suiogothicum.] Bobbing , that is, mocking, jesting with. Dry bobbing, a dry jest, or bob : illusio, dicterium. * See Hoffman’s Lexicon, iii. 305. Sub voc. Neptunus (ex Gervas. Tilleberiens.) daemonis quoddam genus, Angli Portunos nominant. Portunus nonunquam invisus equitanti se copulat, et cum diutius comitatur, eundem tandem loris arreptis equum in lutum ad manum ducit, in quo dum infixus volutatur, protinus exiens cachinnum facit, et sic hujus modi ludibrio humanam simplicitatem deridet t You are no such wise person, or sophister, from the Greek 1 suppose, no other than eggs laid there by some insect! By degrees these knots grow bigger, and contain in them a maggot, which may be squeezed out at a hole they have al- ways open.” Mr. Derham could never discover what animal }. d ?ubt not but it is to this gad-fly or breese : and that their stinging the cows is not only to suck their blood ini/ 0 perforate the skia for the sake of laying their eggs with- * They may proceed from the flesh of cows in the manner above mentioned, that is, as from the place in which they are bred, but not from the matter out of which they are generated. The note on this passage, in the old edition, together with manv others, convince me that the annotations on the third part of Hudibras could not be written by Butler. 1 . t No less than 180 errors and heresies were propagated in the city of London, as Mr. Case told the parliament in his thanks- giving sermon for the taking of Chester. ! The Independents were charged with altering a text of Scripture, (Acts vi. 3,) in order to authorize them to appoint their own ministers. “Therefore, brethren, look ye out among „ y° u , seven m en of honest report, full of the Holy Ghost and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business.” Mr. Field is said to have printed ^instead of we in several editions, and p f S lad y m - hls beautiful folio edition of 1659, and the octavo Pi. 1 ” 61 * Dr - Gre Y says, he had heard that the first printer of this forgery received £1500 for it. This mistake the Doctor was led into by Dr. Wotton, but he very handsomely corrects it in i!i S TT fel J PpIer ^ e ^ t ‘ Til ? erratum of the press, for such it seems to be * ng a mistake only of a single letter, was observed V J\ nted at Cambridge by Buck and Daniel, 1638, folio, f®. that 11 1S falsely said by several writers, that this forgery crept into the text in the time of the usurpation, and during the reign de c P ?? de « teee Lewis ’ s History of the English Transla- lnTr m heB !? e ’ P rc? 40 L and J * Berri man’s Critical Dissertation ? a 1 lir p- ai - 16 ’ p- 52. But corrupted allude rather to false interpretations than to false reading Canto nj HUDIBRAS. 369 That were incapable t’ enjoy 15 That empire any other way ;* So presbyter begot the othert Upon the good old cause* his mother That bore them like the devil’s dam,} Whose son and husband are the same ; 20 And yet no nat’ral tie of blood, Nor int’rest for the common good, Could, when their profits interfer’d, Get quarter for each other’s beard :§ For when they thriv’d they never fadg’d,|l 2S * “ It was from this time, viz. about 521 years before Christ, “ that they first had the name of Magians, which signifying the « crop-eared, it was then given unto them by way of nickname “ and contempt, because of the impostor (Smerdis) who was then “ cropped : for Mige-Gush signified, in the lan guage of the country « then in use, one that had his ears cropped.’ Pndeaux Con nection. From hence, perhaps, might come the proverb. Who “ made you a conjurer and did not crop your ears. Catullus SayS * Nam magus ex matre et gnato gignatur oportet, Si vera est Persarum impia relligio. lxxxvn. d. Ovid says : Gentes esse feruntur III quibus et nato genitrix, et nata parenti Jungitur, et pietas geminato crescit amore.^^ ^ ^ lUpaai <$f, Kal /idXts*a abriav ol vocpiav ugkuv Sokovvtss ol uayo h r«/*^‘ g ™^«- pyrrhon . Hypotypos. lib. iii. c. 24. The poet cannot mean the Persian empire , which was only in the hands of the Magi for a few months ; but he must intend the office of Archimagus, or the presidency of the Magi which he was best entitled to who was in this manner begotten. Aoroas ter the first institutor of the sect, allowed of incestuous mar- riages : he maintained the doctrine of a good and bad principle , the former was worshipped under the emblem of fire, which th t^he P Presb%rians^ first broke down the pale of order and dis- cipline, and so made way for the Independents and every other Se f ’This is not the first time we have heard of the deviPs mo- ther. In Wolfii Memorabilia, is a quotation from Erasmus. “ Si tu es diabolus, ego sum mater illius.” And m the Agamem- non of iEschylus, Cassandra, after loading Clytemnestra with every opprobrious name she can think of, calls her ,e transacted, they would seem in 392 HUDIBRAS. [Part ijd Else why should tumults fright us now, We have so many times gone thro’, And understand as well to tame 525 As when they serve our turns, t’ inflame > Have prov’d how inconsiderable Are all engagements of the rabble, Whose frenzies must be reconcil’d With drums, and rattles, like a child, 530 But never prov’d so prosperous, As when they were led on by us ; For all our scouring of religion Began with tumults and sedition ; When hurricanes of fierce commotion 535 Became strong motives to devotion ; As carnal seamen, in a storm, Turn pious converts, and reform, When rusty weapons, with chalk’d edges, Maintain’d our feeble privileges, 5* *0 And brown-bills levy’d in the city,* their prayers to propose their doubts and scruples to God Al- mighty, and after having debated the matter some time with mm, they would turn their discourse, and bring forth an answer suitable to their designs, which the people were to look upon as suggested from heaven. Bates’s Elench. Mo tuum. It was an observation in that time, that the first publish- ing of extraordinary news was from the pulpit; and from the preacher s text and discourse the hearers might judge, and com- monly foresaw what was likely to be done next in the parlia ment or council of state. Lord Clarendon. * Apprentices armed with occasional weapons. Ainsworth w u Dlctionar y> translates sparum, a brown bill. Bishop Warburton says, to fight with rusty or poisoned weapons, (see bhakspeare s Hamlet,) was against the law of arms. So when the citizens used the former, they chalked the edges. Samuel Johnson, in the octavo edition of his Dictionary, says, “ Broion- biU was the ancient weapon of the English foot,” so called perhaps, because sanguined to prevent the rust : thus sportsmen olten serve their fowling-pieces to prevent too much glitter, as well as the rust. Black- bill seems to be the opposite term tc brown-bill. See Sir T. Warton’s life of Sir T. Pope, p. 356, y 1 ® 16 * Tri e common epithet for a sw r ord, or offensive weapon in the old metrical romances, is brown : as brown brand, or brown sword, brown bill, &c., and sometimes even bright brown sword. Chaucer applies the word rustie in the same sense : he thus describes the reve, “ And by his side he bare a rustie blade.” *nd agam, ev en thus the god Mars, “And in his hand he had a rusty sword.” Spenser has sometimes used the same epithet. See Warton’s Observations, vol. ii. p. 62. Perhaps our ancestors deemed it honorable to carry their weapons stained with the blood of their enemies. In the ballad of Bobin Hood, and Guy of Gisborne, 1. 148, “ with blades both brown and bright.” Percy’s Reliques, p. 88. See verse 1508 of this canto ; HUDIBRAS. 393 Canto ii.] Made bills to pass the grand committee : When zeal, with aged clubs and gleaves* Gave chase to rochets, and white sleeves, t And made the church, and state, and laws, Submit t’ old iron, and the cause And as we thriv’d by tumults then, So might we better now agen, If we knew how, as then we did, To use them rightly in our need : Tumults, by which the mutinous Betray themselves instead of us ; The hollow-hearted, disaffected, And close malignant are detected ; Who lay their lives and fortunes down, For pledges to secure our own ; And freely sacrifice their ears T’ appease our jealousies and fears : And yet, for all these providences, W’ are offer’d, if we have our senses, We idly sit, like stupid blockheads, Our hands committed to our pockets, And nothing but our tongues at large, To get the wretches a discharge : Like men condemn’d to thunder-bolts, Who, ere the blow, become mere dolts ;t Or fools besotted with their crimes, That know not how to shift betimes, And neither have the hearts to stay, 545 550 555 560 565 With new-chalk’d bills, and rusty arms. Butler, in his MS. Common-place book says ‘‘ The confident “ man’s wit is like a watchman’s bill with a chalked edge, that “ pretends to sharpness, only to conceal its dull bluntness from ^Zealots armed with old clubs ; and gleaves , swords, from th | Alderman Pennington, with some hundred of the rabble at his heels, presented a petition to the commons signed with 15,000 names, praying that the government by bishops might be abolished. Afterwards the apprentices were drawn down in great numbers, to cry out at the parliament doors. No bishops, No bishops ! By which, and the like means, the bill against the bishops voting in parliament, and that against the earl of Straf- ford, were made to pass the houses, and obtain the royal aS ± ei Some of the ancients were of opinion, that thunder stupifi- ed before it killed. See Ammian. Marcellin. Vejovis fulmine mox tangendos adeo hebetari, nt nee tonitrum nec majores aliquos possint audire fragores, xvn. 10, and Plin. Nat. Hist. ii. 54. Perhaps the notion may be as old as iEschylus . see his Prometheus. 17 * 394 HUDIBRAS. [Part m 570 Nor wit enough to run away : Who, if we could resolve on either, Might stand or fall at least together ; No mean or trivial solaces To partners in extreme distress,* * * § Who use to lessen their despairs, 575 By parting them int’ equal shares ; As if the more they were to bear,t They felt the weight the easier ; And ev’ry one the gentler hung, The more he took his turn among. 580 But ’tis not come to that, as yet, If we had courage left, or wit, Who, when our fate can be no worse, Are fitted for the bravest course, Have time to rally, and prepare 585 Our last and best defence, despair :t Despair, by which the gallant’st feats Have been achiev’d in greatest straits, And horrid’st dangers safely wav’d, By b’ing courageously outbrav’d ; 590 As wounds by wider wounds are heal’d, And poisons by themselves expell’d ;§ And so they might be now agen, If we were, what we should be, men ; And not so dully desperate, 595 To side against ourselves with fate : As criminals, condemn’d to suffer, Are blinded first, and then turn’d over. This comes of breaking covenants, And setting up exempts of saints, || 600 That fine, like aldermen, for grace, To be excus’d the efficace:1T * Solamen miseris socios habuisse doloris. \ In some editions ; as if the more there were to bear. t Una sains victis nullam sperare salutem. § Sneering Sir Kenelm Digby, and others, who assert this as a fact ; indeed, oil is a good cure of the serpent’s bite. See v. 1029 of this canto. || Dispensing, in particular instances, with the covenant and obligations. IT Persons who are nominated to an office, and pay the accus- tomed fine, are entitled to the sa ne privileges as if they had per- formed the service. Thus, some of the sectaries, if they paid handsomely were deemed saints, and full of grace, though, from the tenor of their lives, they merited no such distinction, com muting for their want of real grace, that they might be excused the drudgery of good works, for spiritual men are too transcend Canto ii.] HUDIBRAS. 395 For sp’ritual men are too transcendent,* That mount their banks for independent^ To hang, like Mah’met, in the air,t Or St. Ignatius, at his prayer, § By pure geometry, and hate Dependence upon church or state ; Disdain the pedantry o’ th’ letter, And since obedience is better, The Scripture says, than sacrifice, Presume the less on’t will suffice ; And scorn to have the moderat’st stints Prescrib’d their peremptory hints, Or any opinion, true or false, Declar’d as such, in doctrinals j But left at large to make their best on, Without b’ing call’d t’ account or quest’on Interpret all the spleen reveals, As Whittington explain’d the bells ;|| And bid themselves turn back agen Lord May’rs of New Jerusalem ; But look so big and overgrown, They scorn their edifiers t’ own, Who taught them all their sprinkling lessons, Their tones, and sanctify’d expressions 5 Bestow’d their gifts upon a saint, Like charity, on those that want ; 605 610 eis 620 625 ent to grovel in good works, namely, those spiritual men that mount their banks for independent. Efficace is an affected word of the poet’s own coining, and signifies, I suppose, actual ser- V1 *This and the following lines contain an elegant satire upon those persons who renounce all dependence either on the church ° r + S Etre sur les bancs, is to hold a dispute, to assert a claim, to contest a right or an honor, to be a competitor. , . , + They need no such support as the body of Mahomet , which, history fabulously tells us, is kept suspended in the air, by being placed in a steel coffin between two loadstones of equal pow- er | Ignatius Loyola, the founder of the Jesuits. An old sffiffier : at the siege of Pampeluna by the Frenchhe had bothhis le^s wounded, the left by a stone, the right broken by a bullet. His fervors in devotion were so strong that they sometimes raised him two cubits from the ground. The same story is told in the legends of Saint Dominick, Xavier, and Philip Nen. || In his imagination their jingle said, Turn again Whittington, For thou in time shalt grow Lord-mayor of London. Obeving the admonition, he not only attained the promised honor, but amassed a fortune of .£350,000. Tatler, No. ?8. 396 HUDIBRAS [Part m And learn’d th’ apocryphal bigots T’ inspire themselves with shorthand notes,* 630 For which they scorn and hate them worse Than dogs and cats do sow-gelders : For who first bred them up to pray, And teach the house of commons way ? Where had they all their gifted phrases, 633 But from our Calamies and Cases ?+ Without whose sprinkling and sowing, Whoe’er had heard of Nye or Owen ?t Their dispensations had been stifled, But for our Adoniram Byfield ;§ 640 * Learn' d, that is, taught. Apocryphal bigots , not genuine ones, some suppose to be a kind of second-rate Independent di- vines, that availed themselves of the genuine bigots or Presby- terian ministers’ discourse, by taking down the heads of it in shorthand, and then retailing it at private meetings. The accent is laid upon the last syllable of bigot. t Calamy was minister of Aldermanbury, London, a zealous Presbyterian and Covenanter, and frequent preacher before the parliament. He was one of the first who whispered in the con- venticles, what afterwards he proclaimed openly, that for the cause of religion it was lawful for the subjects to take up arms against the king. Case, upon the deprivation of a loyalist, be- came minister of Saint Mary Magdalen church, Milk-street; where it was usual with him thus to invite his people to the communion : “ You that have freely and liberally contributed to “ the parliament, for the defence of Gotf s cause and the gospel, “ draw near,” &c., instead of the words, “ ye that do truly and “ earnestly repent you of your sins.” He was one of the assem- bly of divines, preached for the covenant, and printed his ser- mon ; preached often before the parliament, was a bitter enemy to Independents, and concerned with Love in the plot. t Here read sprinkleing, or sprinkeling. Philip Nye was a most virulent dissenting teacher, zealous against the king and bishops beyond most of his brethren. He went on purpose into Scotland to expedite the covenant, and preached before the houses in England, when that obligation was taken by them He was at first a Presbyterian, and one of the assembly ; but af terwards joined the Independents. At the restoration, it was debated by the healing parliament for several hours, whether he should not be excepted from life- Doctor Owen was a great stickler on the Independent side, and in great credit with Crom- well and his party. He was preferred by them to the deanry of Christ church, in Oxford. The Biographical Dictionary, in 8vo. says, that, in 1654, being vice-chancellor, he offered to represent the university in parliament ; and, to remove the objection of his being a divine, renounced his orders, and pleaded that he was a layman. He was returned ; but his election being questioned in the committee, he sat only a short time. $ Byfield was a noted Presbyterian, chaplain to Colonel Chol- mondely’s regiment, in the earl of Essex’s army, and one of the scribes to the assembly of divines. Afterwards he became min- ister of Collingborn, in Wilts, and assistant to the commissioners in ejecting scandalous ministers. J aT© H sr ®¥I H HUDIBRAS. 397 Canto ii.] And had they not begun the war, They ’ad ne’er been sainted as they are :* * * § For saints in peace degenerate, And dwindle down to reprobate ; Their zeal corrupts, like standing water, 645 In th’ intervals of war and slaughter ; Abates the sharpness of its edge, Without the pow’r of sacrilege :t And tho’ they’ve tricks to cast their sins, As easy as serpents do their skins ,f 650 That in a while grow out agen, In peace they turn mere carnal men, And from the most refin’d of saints, As nat’rally grow miscreants As barnacles turn sol and geese 655 In th’ islands of the Orcades.§ * Had not the divines, on the Presbyterian side, fomented the differences, the Independents had never come in play, or been taken notice of. t That is, if they have not the power and opportunity of con?' mitting sacrilege, by plundering the church lands. f Positis novus exuviis, nitidusque juventa. Georg, iii. 437. § Our poet was too good a naturalist to suppose that a shell- fish would turn to a goose : but in this place, as in many others, he means to banter some of the papers published by the first es- tablishes of the Royal Society. In the twelfth volume of the Philosophical Transactions, No. 137, p. 925, Sir Robert Moray gives an account of barnacles hanging upon trees, and contain- ing each of them a little bird, so completely formed that nothing appeared wanting, as to the external parts, for making up a per- fect sea-fowl : the little bill, like that of a goose ; the eyes marked ; the head, neck, breast, and wings, tail and feet formed ; the feathers every way perfectly shaped, and blackish colored ; and the feet like those of other water fowls. See the Lepas anatifera, Lin. Syst. 668. My friend, Mr. Pennant, observes, (British Zoology, vol. iv. No. 9,) that the animal is furnished with a feathered beard, which in a credulous age was believed to be part of a young bird ; it is a native of hot climates, and found adhering to the bottoms of ships. Heylin says, they are bred in the Isle of Man from rotten wood thrown into the water. The same is mentioned by Camden, and by old Gerard in his Herbal, who gives a print of the goose itself in p. 1587, with a cluster of the shells called Lepas anatifera, or barnacle shells, which he calls Conchas anatiferse Britannicae, and by the wise naturalists of the sixteenth century were thought to generate the birds, which hung for a while by the bill, then fell into the sea, and grew to naturity : they did not, like our poet, make the tree goose a soland goose, but the goose called the barnacle. British Zoology, ii. 269. Sir John Mandeville, in his Voyages, ch. 84, says, “ In my country there are trees that do bear fruit “ that become birds flying, and they are good to eat, and that “ which falls in the water lives, and that which falls on the “ earth dies.” Ed. London, 1722. Hector Boetius, in his History of Scotland, tells us of a goose-bearing tree, as it is called in the Orcades : that is, one whose leaves falling into the water, an 393 HUDIBRAS. TPart ia Their dispensation ’s but a ticket For their conforming to the wicked, With whom their greatest difference Lies more in words and shew, than sense * * * * § 660 For as the Pope, that keeps the gate Of heaven, wears three crowns of state So he that keeps the gates of hell, Proud Cerb’rus, wears three heads as well ;+ And, if the world has any troth, + 665 Some have been canoniz’d in both. But that which does them greatest harm, Their sp’ritual gizzards are too warm,§ Which puts the overheated sots In fevers still, like other goats ;|J 670 turned to those geese which are called soland geese, and found in prodigious numbers in those parts. Thus the poet Dubartas : So slow Bootes underneath him sees In th’ icy islands, goslings hatch’d of trees, Whose fruitful leaves falling into the water Are turn’d (’tis known) to living fowl soon after. Again : So rotten planks of broken ships do change To barnacles. Oh ! transformation strange ! ’Twas first a green tree, then a broken hull, Lately a mushroom, now a flying gull. The poet seems to have taken something from each of these stories. In Moore’s Travels into the inland parts of Africa, p. 54, we read : This evening, December 18, 1730, 1 supped upon “ oysters which grew upon trees. Down the river (Gambia) “ where the water is salt, and near the sea, the river is bounded “ with trees called mangroves, whose leaves being long and “ heavy, weigh the boughs into the water. To these leaves “ the young oysters fasten in great quantities, where they grow “ till they are very large ; and then you cannot separate them “ from the tree, but are obliged to cut off the boughs. The oys- “ ters hanging on them resemble a rope of onions.” Mr. Francis Moore, son of a writing-master at Worcester, was many years a factor in the service of the African Company, and travelled five hundred miles up the river Gambia. These oysters are found in Jamaica, and many other places. * The pope, pretending to have the power of the keys, is called janitor ecclesiae. The tiara or triple crown is a badge of papal dignity. t Cerberus hsec ingens latratu regna trifauci Personat ^Eneis vi. 417. t Many bad as well as good men have been honored with the title of saints. § Persons are said to have a broiling in their gizzards when they stomach any thing very much. II Capras sanas sanus nemo promittet, nunquam enim sine febre sunt. Varro ii. 3, 5. Columella says they are extremely sickly. And Plutarch ii. p. 290, that they are subject to epilep- tics. ji the notes on Varro, it is observed that the learned Co HUDIBRAS 399 Canto ii.] For tho’ the whore bends hereticks With flames of fire, like crooked sticks,* * * * § Our schismatics so vastly differ, Th’ hotter they ’re they grow the stiffer ; Still setting off their sp’ritual goods, With fierce and pertinacious feuds : For zeal’s a dreadful termagant, That teaches saints to tear and rant, And independents to profess The doctrine of dependences ; Turns meek, and secret, sneaking ones,t To raw-heads fierce, and bloody -bones ; And not content with endless quarrels Against the wicked, and their morals, The Gibellines, for want of Guelfs,t Divert their rage upon themselves. For now the war is not between The brethren and the men of sin, But saint and saint to spill the blood Of one another’s brotherhood, Where neither side can lay pretence To liberty of conscience, § Or zealous suffering for the eaus<& To gain one groat’s worth of applause. For tho’ endur’d with resolution, ’Twill ne’er amount to persecution ; Shall precious saints, and secret ones, Break one another’s outward bones, |J And eat the flesh of brethren, Instead of kings and mighty men? 675 68C 685 690 695 700 teler was suckled by a she-goat ; and in consequence was a valetudinary through life, subject to melancholy, and scarcely ever without a fever. * The pope of Rome is, by some, thought to be the same with the whore of Babylon mentioned in the Revelation : and the Romanists are said to have attempted the conversion of infidels by means of fire and fagots, as men made crooked sticks straight by fire and steam. t In some editions we have a better reading thus . Turns meek, and sneaking secret ones. X These names of distinction were first made use of at Pis- toia, where, when the magistrates expelled the Panzatichi, there chanced to be two brothers, Germans, one of whom, named Guelph, was for the pope, the other, Gibel, for the emperor. The spirit of these parties raged with violence in Italy and Ger- many. § That is, not having granted liberty of conscience. \\ A sneer upon the canting abuse of scripture phrases, alluding to Psalm ii. v. 9 ; thus again 1. 328 of this canto : the same may be said of lines 326 and 700. 400 HfJDIBR AS. [Part in. When fiends agree among themselves,* Shall they be found the greater elves ?+ When Bell’s at union with the Dragon, And Baal Peor friends with Dagon ; When savage bears agree with bears, t 70! Shall secret ones lug saints by th’ ears, And not atone their fatal wrath, § When common danger threatens both ? Shall mastiffs, by the collars pull’d, Engag’d with bulls, let go their hold ; 710 And saints, whose necks are pawn’d at stake, jj No notice of the danger take ; But tho’ no pow’r of heaven or hell Can pacify fanatic zeal, Who would not guess there might be hopes, 715 The fear of gallowses and ropes Before their eyes might reconcile Their animosities a while. At least until they ’ad a clear stage, And equal freedom to engage, 720 Without the danger of surprise By both our common enemies ?1F This none but we alone could doubt,** Who understood their workings-out, And know ’em both in soul and conscience, 725 Giv’n up t’ as reprobate a nonsensett As spiritual out -laws, whom the pow’r Of miracle can ne’er restore. We, whom at first they set up under, In revelation only of plunder, 730 Who since have had so many trials Of their encroaching self-denials, ft * O shame to men ! devil with devil damn’d Firm concord holds Paradise Lost, ii. 496. t They , that is the saints, see v. 689, 697. t saevis inter se convenit ursis. Juy. Sat. xv. 164. £ Atone , that is, reconcile, see v. 717. f] That is, and saints , whose all is at stake, as they are to be hanged if things do not take a friendly turn. See v. 716. TT That is, by the common enemies of us both. ** None but we alone could doubt that the fear of gallowses might reconcile their animosities, &c. ft Given up to a state of reprobation and guidance of their own folly, like persons under such an irrevocable sentence of excommunication, that even their power of working miracles would never avail to gain them absolution, and reinstate them. if The Independents got rid of the Presbyterian leaders by the self-denying ordinance. HUDIBRAS. 401 Canto ii.] That rook’d upon us with design* To out-reform and undermine ; Took all our int’rests and commands 735 Perfidiously out of our hands ; Involv’d us in the guilt of blood, Without the motive gains allow’d, t And made us serve as ministerial, Like younger sons of father Belial. 740 And yet, for all th’ inhuman wrong Th’ had done us, and the cause so long, We never fail’d to carry on The work still, as we had begun : But true and faithfully obey’d, 745 And neither preach’d them hurt, nor pray’d ; Nor troubled them to crop our ears, Nor hang us, like the cavaliers ; Nor put them to the charge of jails, To find us piU’ries and cart-tails, 750 Or hangman’s wages, which the state Was forc’d before them, to be at ; That cut, like tallies, to the stumps, Our ears for keeping true accompts,t And burnt our vessels, like a new- 755 Seal’d peck, or bushel, for being true ; But hand in hand, like faithful brothers, Held forth the cause against all others, Disdaining equally to yield One syllable of what we held. 76C And though we differ’d now and then ’Bout outward things, and outward men, Our inward men, and constant frame Of spirit still were near the same ; And till they first began to cant, 765 And sprinkle down the covenant, * That played the cheat. t That is, without allowing the gains which were the motives vo such actions. t Tallies are corresponding notches which traders make on sticks : they are planed away when the accounts are allowed, or liquidated. The meaning seems to be, the state before the public confusion made us suffer for keeping true accounts, or for being true, cutting our ears like tallies, and branding the vessels of our bodies like a measure with the mark fresh upon it: the tallies so cut as keeping true accounts : the measure so sealed, or branded, as being a true one : this suits with the character of Lilbourn. See note on line 421. London and other towns have the power of examining weights and measures, and usually put their seal upon such as are true and just, which are thence called sealed weights, and sealed measures HUDIBRAS. [Part m 402 We ne’er had call in any place, Nor dream’d of teaching down free grace ; But join’d our gifts perpetually, Against the common enemy. 770 Although ’twas ours, and their opinion, Each other’s church was but a Rimmon.* And yet, for all this gospel-union, And outward shew of church-communion, They’ll ne’er admit us to our shares 775 Of ruling church, or state affairs, Nor give us leave t’ absolve, or sentence T’ our own conditions of repentance : But shar’d our dividend o’ th’ crown, We had so painfully preach’d down ; 780 And forc’d us, tho’ against the grain, T’ have calls to teach it up again.t For ’twas but justice to restore The wrongs we had receiv’d before ; And when ’twas held forth in our way, 785 We ’ad been ungrateful not to pay : Who for the right we’ve done the nation, Have earn’d our temporal salvation, And put our vessels in a way, Once more to come again in play : 790 For if the turning of us out, Has brought this providence about, And that our only suffering Is able to bring in the king,t * A Syrian idol. See 2 Kings, v. 18. And Paradise Lost, 467 ! Him followed Rimmon, whose delightful seat Was fair Damascus, on the fertile banks Of Abbana and Pharphar, lucid streams. The meaning is, that in our and their opinion, church com munion with each other was a like case with that of Naaman’s bowing himself in the house of Rimmon, equally laying both under the necessity of a petition for pardon : the Independents knew that their tenets were so opposite to those of the Presby- terians, that they could not coalesce, and therefore concealed them, till they were strong enough to declare them. f The Presbyterians entered into several plots to restore the king. For it was but justice, said they, to repair the injuries we had received from the Independents ; and when monarchy was offered to be restored in our own sense, and with all the limita tions we desired, it had been ungrateful not to consent. X Many of the Presbyterians, says Lord Clarendon, when ousted of their prefer nent, or secluded from their house of com- mons by the Independents, pretended to make a merit of it in respect of their loyalty. And some of them had the confidence to present themselves to King Charles the Second, both before and after his restoration, as sufferers for the crown ; though they Canto ii.] HUDIBRAS. 403 What would our actions not have done, 795 Had we been suffer’d to go on ? And therefore may pretend t’ a share,* * * * § At least, in carrying on th’ affair : But whether that be so, or not, We ’ve done enough to have it thought, 800 And that’s as good as if we ’ad done ’t, And easier past upon account : For if it be but half deny’d, ’Tis half as good as justify’d. The world is naturally averse 805 To all the truth it sees or hears, But swallows nonsense and a lie, With greediness and gluttony ; And tho’ it have the pique, and long, ’Tis still for something in the wrong :t 810 As women long when they ’re with child, For things extravagant and wild ; For meats ridiculous and fulsome, But seldom any thing that’s wholesome ; And, like the world, men’s jobbernoles 815 Turn round upon their ears, the poles ;f And what they ’re confidently told, By no sense else can be controll’d. And this, perhaps, may be the means Once more to hedge in providence. 820 For as relapses make diseases More desp’rate than their first accesses ; If we but get again in pow’r, Our work is easier than before ; And we more ready and expert 825 I’ the mystery, to do our part : We, who did rather undertake The first war to create, than make ;§ And when of nothing ’twas begun, |j had been violent sticklers against it : this, their behavior, our poet ridicules in many places of this canto * To make out the grammatical construction, this verse must be connected with verse 790. t Pica is a depraved appetite, or desire of improper food to which pregnant women, or sickly females, are sometimes sub- ject. % Men’s heads are . turned with the lies and nonsense which they hear, and attend to. See v. 1008. § By creating war, he means, finding pretences for it, stirring up and fomenting it. By making war, he means waging and carrying it on. || Upon no occasion or provocation. 404 HUDIBRAS. [Part m. 83G Rais’d funds as strange, to carry ’t on Trepann’d the state, and fac’d it down, With plots and projects of our own : And if we did such feats at first, What can we now we ’re better vers’d ? Who have a freer latitude 835 Than sinners give themselves, allow’d ; And therefore likeliest to bring in, On fairest terms, our discipline ; To which it was reveal’d long since We were ordain’d by Providence, 840 When three saints’ ears, our predecessors, The cause’s primitive confessors,* B’ing crucify’d, the nation stood In just so many years of blood, t That, multiply’d by six express’d 845 The perfect number of the beast , t And prov’d that we must be the men To bring this work about agen ; * Burton,' Prynne, and Bastwick, three busy writers at the beginning of the civil war, were set in the pillory, and had their ears cropped. Hence the poet jocosely calls them primitive con- fessors. The severe sentence which was passed on these per- sons, and on Leighton, contributed much to inflame the minds of men, and to incense them against the bishops, the star-chamber, and the government. t The civil war lasted six years, from 1642, till the death of the king in 1648-9. t Alluding to Revelation, ch. xiii. 18. “Here is wisdom. “ Let him that hath understanding count the number of the “ beast : for it is the number of a man ; and his number is six “ hundred threescore and six.” The multiplication of three units by six, gives three sixes, and the juxtaposition of three sixes makes 666, or, which comes to the same thing — three units placed by the side of each other (111) is one hundred and eleven, which, multiplied by (6) six, is equal to (666) six hun- dred sixty-six, the number of the beast. This mysterious num- ber and name excited the curiosity of mankind so early, that even in the second century, IrenEeus started various conjectures on the subject. He supposes the name may be Evanthas, Lateinos, Teitan, &c., which last he prefers. But he adds, with a modesty ill-imitated by later expositors — “ Yet, I venture not “to pronounce positively concerning the name of antichrist: “ for, had it been intended to be openly proclaimed to the pres “ ent generation, it would have been uttered by the same person “ who saw the revelation.” Fevardent discovered this number in the name of Martin Luther, which originally, he says, was Martin Lauter.* * m From Fevardent’s Notes on Irenseus, 1. v. c. 30, p. 487, ed. Paris, folio, A. D. 1675. Initio vocabatur Martin Lauter ; cujus nominis literas si Pythagorice et ratione subducas et more He- brseorum et Grsecorum alphabeti crescat numerus, primo mona- HUDIBRAS. 405 Canto ii ] And those who laid the first foundation, Compleat the thorough reformation : For who have gifts to carry on So great a work, but we alone ? dum, deinde decadum hinc centuriarum, numerus nominis Bes- tisp, id est, 666, tandem perfection comperies, hoc pacto. M 30 A 1 R 80 T 100 1 9 N 40 L A U T E R 20 1 200 100 5 80 300 5 10 300 1 50 T E I TAN Equal to 666. I can make nothing of Luther, nor of the Greek alphabet; but let me read Lauter, and make numerals of the Latin alphabet, and then things will fadge or fit. Other names applicable to Antichrist, collected by Fevardent from various authors are : 1 E vavOas 2 A areivog 3 Tsirav 4 Apvovpiai 5 Aaintcrii 6 O NiicrjTtjs 7 K cocos o&rjyog 8 A XrjQrjs fi^afiepog 9 IlaXat Pacicavos 10 A/n/of aSiKog 11 A vrepLOS 12 Tevarjpiicos- The first three Greek names are proposed by Irenseus. Fe- vardent prefers Maometis to them all. Irenseus’ s rational reflection on the whole is luckily preserved in the original Greek (for in general only a barbarous Latin ver- sion of this father remains) by Eusebius, Hist. Eccl. v. 8. f H [xe7s oZv ovk airoKivivvevopiev rrspi tou dvdnaros rov A m- Xpi^ov afro(j)aiv6pisvoi PeftaiuriicZs. E l yap , edei ava Cleveland banters them upon the same head : The post that came from Banbury, Riding in a blue rocket, He swore he saw, when Lunsford fell, A child’s arm in his pocket. Mr. Cleveland : Rupertismus, Works, 1677, p. 67 : 8 “ £ w a ^ the gible j s of his train, th ey fear “Hp tL h M d0g ’ that four-] egg’d cavalier; “ Whose nl cTn mfpp 1 !. 6 SCmps wbich Lunsford makes, vvnose picture feeds upon a child in stakes.” sfe M? vi Tm » (see th Notes ° n D °“ ford of the deities.] P * V P ‘ 103 ’ S Saturn th e very Luns- * If the husband sided not with the Presbyterians, his wife Canto ii.J HUDIBRAS. 417 And turn’d the men to ten-horn’ d cattle, Because they came not out to battle ;* * Made tailors’ ’prentices turn heroes, For fear of being transform’d to Meroz,1 1120 And rather forfeit their indentures, Than not espouse the saints’ adventures: Could transubstantiate, metamorphose, And charm whole herds of beasts, like Orpheus jt Enchant the king’s and church’s lands, 1125 T’ obey and follow your commands, And settle on a new freehold, As Marcle-hill had done of old :§ Could turn the cov’nant, and translate The gospel into spoons and plate ; 113® Expound upon all merchants’ cashes, And open th’ intricatest places ; Could catechize a money-box, And prove all pouches orthodox ; was represented as insidious and a betrayer of her country’s interest, such as Dalilah was to Samson and the Israelites. Judges xvi. * Resembled them to the ten horns, or ten kings, who gave their power and strength to the beast. Revelation, xvn. 12. See also Daniel vii. v. 7. A cuckold is called a norned beast ; a notorious cuckold may be called a ten-horned beast, there being no beast known with more horns than the beast in vision. t “Curse ye Meroz,” said the angel of the Lord; Curse ye “bitterly the inhabitants thereof; because they came not to the “ help of the Lord against the mighty.’ Judges v. 23. This was a favorite text with those who preached for the parlia- ment : and it assisted them much in raising recruits. t Mulcentem tigres, et agentem carmine quercus. Georg, iv. 510. $ Not far from Ledbury, in Herefordshire, toward the conflux of the Lug and Wye, in the parish of Marcle, is a hill, which in the vear 1575 moved to a considerable distance. Philips in his Cider, (p. 12, 1. 801, ed. Dunster,) speaking of Marcle-hill, says : Deceitful ground, who knows but that once more The mount may journey, and his present site Forsaking, to thy neighbours’ bounds transfer The goodly plants, affording matter strange For law debates — Camden, in his Life of Queen Elizabeth, book ii. p. 20, thinks the motion was occasioned by an earthquake, which he calls brasmatia ; though the cause of it more probably was a sub- terraneous current. Some houses and a chapel were over- turned. I remember an accident of this kind which happen near Grafton, on the side of Bredon-hill, and another n Broseley in Shropshire. A similar phenomenon was observed at Eroge, in Judea, in the time of king Uzziah, and is recorded by Josephus, lib. ix. cap. 11. 18 * 418 HUDIBRAS. [Part m. Until the cause became a Damon, And Pythias the wicked Mammon.* And yet, in spite of all your charms To conjure legions up in arms, And raise more devils in the rout Than e’er y’ were able to cast out, Y’ have been reduc’d, and by those fools, Bred up, you say, in your own schools, Who, tho’ but gifted at your feet,+ Have made it plain they have more wit, By whom you’ve been so oft’ trepann’d, And held forth out of all command : Out-gifted, out-impuls’d, out-done, And out-reveal’d at carryings-on ; Of all your dispensations worm’d, Out-pro videnc’d and out-reform’d ; Ejected out of church and state, And all things but the people’s hate ; And spirited out of th’ enjoyments Of precious, edifying employments, ins 1140 1145 1150 * Until Mammon and the cause were as closely united, and as dear friends as Damon and Pythias, two persons whose friendship is celebrated by Plutarch, Valerius Maximus, and others. In Jamblichus’s Life of Pythagoras, No. 234, this story is related at length from Aristoxenus, who heard it from the mouth of Dionysius himself, the tyrant concerned, after he was dispossessed of the sovereignty, and became a schoolmaster at Corinth. As it rests upon better authority than such narratives in general can appeal to, it is here abridged for the amusement of the reader. Though I must first observe, that the true name of one of those friends was not Pythias, but Phintias. See Porphyr. in vita Pythagoras, ult. p. 53, ed. Kuster. Tull, de Offic. iii. 10, and Lactantius, v. 17. — The courtiers of Dionysius the younger, tyrant of Sicily, contended in his presence that the boasted virtues of the Pythagoreans, their determined spirit, their apathy, their firmness in friendship, were all mere illusions, which would vanish on the first appearance of danger or dis- tress. To prove this assertion, they agreed to accuse Phintias, one of the sect, of a conspiracy against the sovereign. He was summoned before the tyrant, who informed him of the charge, and to his great surprise added, that there was the fullest evi- dence of his guilt, and he must die. Phintias replied, if it were so, he would only beg the respite of a few hours, while he might go home and settle the common concerns of his friend Damon and himself : in the mean time, Damon would be se- curity for his appearance. Dionysius assented to the proposal ; and when Damon surrendered himself the courtiers all sneeredj concluding that he was become the dupe of his own credulity. But, on the return of Phintias in the evening, to release his bail, and submit to his sentence, they were quite astonished ; and none more than the tyrant himself, who embraced the illustrious pair, and requested they would admit him to a share in their friendship. t “ Bred up at the feet of Gamaliel.” HUDIBRAS. 419 1155 Canto ii.] By those who lodg’d their gifts and graces, Like better bowlers, in your places : All which you bore with resolution, Charg’d on th’ account of persecution ; And tho’ most righteously oppress’d, Against your wills, still acquiesc d $ And never humm’d and hah’d sedition, Nor snuffled treason, nor misprision : That is, because you never durst ; For had you preach’d and pray’d your worst, Alas ! you were no longer able To raise your posse of the rabble : One single redcoat sentinel Outcharm’d the magic of the spell, And, with his squirt-fire,* could disperse Whole troops with chapter rais’d and verse. We knew too well those tricks of yours, To leave it ever in your powers, Or trust our safeties, or undoings, To your disposing of outgoings, Or to your ordering providence, One farthing’s worth of consequence. For had you pow’r to undermine, Or wit to carry a design, Or correspondence to trepan, Inveigle, or betray one man ; There’s nothing else that intervenes, And bars your zeal to use the means ; And therefore wond’rous like, no doubt, To bring in kings, or keep them out : Brave undertakers to restore, That could not keep yourselves in pow’r ; T’ advance the int’rests of the crown, That wanted wit to keep your own. ’Tis true you have, for I’d be loth To wrong ye, done your parts in both ; To keep him out, and bring him in, As grace is introduc’d by sin :+ For ’twas your zealous want of sense, And sanctify’d impertinence ; Your carrying bus’ness in a huddle, That forc’d our rulers to new-model ; Oblig’d the state to tack about, And turn you, root and branch, all out ; 1160 1165 117C 1175 1130 118i 1190 1195 * His musket, so called in the true spirit of burlesque. _ t Thus Saint Paul to the Romans : “ Shall we continue u sin that grace may abound 7” 420 HUDIBRAS. [Part in. To re form ado, one and all, T’ your great croysado general :* i20fl Your greedy slav’ring to devour, t Before ’twas in your clutches’ pow’r ; That sprung the game you were to set. Before ye ’ad time to draw the net : Your spite to see the church’s lands 1205 Divided into other hands, And all your sacrilegious ventures Laid out in tickets and debentures : Your envy to be sprinkled down, By under-churches in the town ;t 1210 And no course us’d to stop their mouths, Nor th’ independents’ spreading growths : All which consider’d, ’tis most true None bring him in so much as you, Who have prevail’d beyond their plots, § 1215 * The parliament, that they might not seem to continue the war from any regard to their own interest and advantage, passed a vote, December 9, 1644, to prevent the members of either house from holding offices in the state. This was called the self-deny- ing ordinance. The secret intention of it was to lessen the in- fluence of the Presbyterians, which it soon effected, by depriving Essex their general, and many others, of their employments; He calls him their croisado-general, because they pretended to engage in the war chiefly on account of religion : the holy war against the Turks and Saracens had the name of croisado, from the cross displayed on the banners. The old annotator, and after him Dr. Grey, tells us, that the general here designed was Fair- lax. But neither the scope of the poet, nor the truth of history will admit of this application of the passage. For the person who speaks is an Independent, and he tells the Presbyterian that the Independents were obliged to turn out the Presbyterians and their general. This suits exactly with Essex, who altogether espoused the Presbyterian interest ; and was laid aside, with the rest of the Presbyterians, by the contrivance above mentioned. Whereas Fairfax, though he thought himself a Presbyterian, as .Lord Clarendon says, was always linked with the Independents and executed their designs. He was first raised to the command by the intrigues of Cromwell and Ireton, because they knew him to be an easy man, one who would submit to their direction Neither is it true that Fairfax was dismissed. On the contrary he laid down his commission, though Cromwell, Whitelock, and the heads of the party, desired him to keep his command, and a solemn conference was held with him, the particulars whereof may be seen in Whitelock’s Memorial. The reader must con- stantly remember, that it is an Independent here speaking, de- fending his sect against the former speaker, who was a Presby- terian. J f That is, letting your mouths greedily water. + Your impatience under the disgrace of being out-preached by the Independent teachers. . ^u T ? e plots of the royalists, I think, are here meant, though Ui that sense the passage is not strictly grammatical. Canto ii.] HUDIBRAS. Their midnight juntos, and seal’d knots ; That thrive more by your zealous piques, Than all their own rash politics. And this way you may claim a share In carrying, as you brag, th’ affair, Else frogs and toads, that croak’d the Jews From Pharaoh and his brick-kilns loose. And flies and mange, that set them free From task-masters and slavery, Were likelier to do the feat, In any indiff’rent man’s conceit : For who e’er heard of restoration, Until your thorough reformation ?* That is, the king’s and church’s lands Were sequester’d int’ other hands : For only then, and not before, Your eyes were open’d to restore ; And when the work was carrying on, Who cross’d it, but yourselves alone ? As by a world of hints appears, All plain, and extant, as your ears.t But first, o’ th’ first : The isle of Wight Will rise up, if you shou’d deny ’t ; Where Henderson and th’ other masses,! * The Independent here charges the Presbyterians with hav ing no design of restoring the king, notwithstanding the merit they made of such intentions after the restoration, until they were turned out of all profit by sale of the crown and church lands, and that it was not their loyalty, but their disappoint- ment and resentment against the Independents, that made them think of treating with the king. t May be spoken in ridicule, because many of the Presby- terians had lost their ears in the pillory. Or the poet may re- collect his “ long ear’d rout.” In Dryden’s Hind and Panther, we have a similar allusion : And pricks up his predestinating ears. 1 That is, the other divines. Ministers in those days were called masters, as they are at the 854th line of this canto. One of this order would have been styled, not the reverend, but master, or master doctor such an one ; and sometimes, for brevity’s sake, and familiarly, mas; the plural of which, our poet makes masses See Ben Johnson, and Spectator, No. 147 Mr. Butler, in this place, must be charged with a small an- achronism ; for the treaty at the isle of Wight was subsequent to the death of Henderson by the space of two years. The divines employed there, were f Marshal, Vines, Caryl, Seaman, Jenkyns, and Shurston : Henderson was present at the Uxbridge * Andrew Cant is there called Mas Cant. , t Carte says, Marshal, Vines, and two others. Stephen Marshal, he says, was a bloody man in all his prayers and sermons; and Mr. Vines a more Christian spirit, more *i*odest, learned, pious, and rational m his discourses. 421 1220 1225 1230 1235 422 HUDIBRAS. fPART UL As if th’ unseasonable fools Were sent to cap texts, and put cases: To pass for deep and learned scholars, Altho’ but paltry Ob and Sobers 1240 Had been a coursing in the schools.! Until they ’ad prov’d the devil author 1245 O’ th’ covenant, and the cause his daughter ; treaty; and disputed with the king at Newcastle when he was .n the Scottish army. Soon after which he died, as some said, of gnef, because he could not convince the king : but as others said, of remorse, for having opposed him. According to these last, while on his deathbed, he published a solemn declaration lu th u P a ; llament and synod of England, setting forth that they had been abused with most false aspersions against his majesty ; and that they ought to restore him to his full rights, royal throne and dignity, lest an endless character of ingratitude lie upon them. Of the king himself, beside commending his justice, magnanimity, and other virtues, he speaks in these terms : “ I do declare before God and the world, whether in re- u l atl0n to the kirk or state, I found his majesty the m^st intel- ligent man that I ever spake with ; as far beyond my expres- sion as expectation. I profess, I was oftentimes astonished with the quickness of his reasons and replies : wondered how he, spending his time in sport and recreations, could have at- tained to so great knowledge : and I must confess, that I was convinced in conscience, and knew not how to give him any ‘ reasonable satisfaction. Yet the sweetness of his disposition is such, that whatever I said was well taken. I must say that I never met with any disputant of that mild and calm temper, which convinced me, that his wisdom and modera- tion could not be without an extraordinary measure of divine ‘grace. I dare say, if his advice had been followed, all the blood that has been shed, and all the rapine that has been committed, would have been prevented.” If it be true that Henderson made this declaration, it will amount to the highest encomium that could possibly be bestowed upon the king, par- ticularly as coming from the mouth of an enemy. * That is, although only contemptible dabblers in school logic So in Burton’s Melancholy, “ A pack of Obs and Sobers.” The polemic divines of that age and stamp, filled the margins both of their tracts and sermons with the words Ob and Sol; the one standing for objection, the other for solution. Bishop Sanderson, in fcis Concio ad Aulam, says — “ The devil is an arrant sophister. and will not take an answer, though never so reasonable and satisfactory, but will ever have somewhat or other to reply. — So long as we hold us but to Ob and Sol, to argument and answer, he will never out, but wrangle ad infinitum.” So we gay, pro and con. The old annotator’s note on this passage is so erroneous, as to show plainly that he could not be Butler. T Coursing is a term used in the university of Oxford for some exercises preparatory to a master’s degree. They were disputa- tions in Lent, which were regulated by Dr. John Fell ; for before his time, the endeavors of one party to run down and confute another in disputations, did commonly end in blows, and dnmp« HUDIBRAS. 423 Canto ii.] For when they charg’d him with the guilt Of all the blood that had been spilt, They did not mean he wrought th’ effusion In person, like Sir Pride, or Hughson,* But only those who first begun The quarrel were by him set on ; And who could those be but the saints, Those reformation termagants ? But ere this pass’d, the wise debate Spent so much time it grew too late ;+ For Oliver had gotten ground, T’ enclose him with his warriors round ; Had brought his providence about, And turn’d th’ untimely sophists out.t Nor had the Uxbridge bus’ness less Of nonsense in ‘t, or sottishness ; When from a scoundrel holder forth, § The scum, as well as son o’ the earth, Your mighty senators took law, At his command were forc’d t’ withdraw, And sacrifice the peace o’ th’ nation To doctrine, use, and application, * So when the Scots, your constant cronies, Th’ espousers of your cause and monies, |J 1250 255 1260 1265 1270 * Pride was originally a drayman; but at last became a famous colonel in the parliament army, was knighted by Cromwell with a fagot stick, hence in derision called Sir Pride, and made one of his lords in parliament. Hughson was at first a shoemaker or a cobbler, afterwards colonel in the parliament army, and one of Oliver’s lords of the upper house. ^ _ , t The treaty at the Isle of Wight was appointed at the first for forty days ; then continues for fourteen days longer, then for four, and at last for one more By this artifice the king’s ene- mies gave Cromwell time to return from Scotland. Whereas it had been the true interest and policy of all that desired peace and a settlement of the kingdom, to have hastened the treaty while the army was absent. — Lord Clarendon. During the treaty, Cromwell and his officers frequently petitioned parliament to punish delinquents.— Whitelock’s Mem. X Untimely, usually signifies premature, but here, unseason- ab