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 SCHEMING; 
 
 A NOVEL, 
 
 IN THREE VOLUMES. 
 
 " Satire's my weapon, but I 'm too discreet 
 
 To run a mucli and tilt at all I meet ; 
 
 I only wear it in a land of Hectors, 
 
 Sp-ies, Fortune-hunters, Hypocrites, game Rectors. 
 
 VOL. L 
 
 LONDON : 
 
 HENRY COLBURN AND CO. 
 PUBLIC LIBRARY, CONDU IT - STR EET. 
 
 1821.
 
 
 SCHEMING. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 At twelve o'clock, on a fine but cold morn- 
 ing in June 18 — , the whole of which 
 month the weather, as our readers (for 
 readers we mean to have) may remember, 
 was very unseasonable, the — th Regiment 
 
 of Foot marched into D . In two 
 
 hours after, the Colonel's family arrived in 
 their coach, most heavily laden, and pro- 
 ceeded to a house in the Square, which had 
 been previously prepared for their reception. 
 VOL. I. B
 
 2 SCHEMING. 
 
 The Colonel's encumbrances consisted of a 
 wife, to his sorrow, a son, to his cost, and 
 four daughters, who he hoped would turn 
 out to his advantage ; as he built much on 
 the expectation of their dancing or singing 
 themselves into the good graces of rich hus- 
 bands, at some of the many places they 
 would have the run of, in consequence of 
 always attending the regiment. 
 
 The young ladies had scarcely had 
 time to see whether they looked fairer 
 in the mirror in their new drawing-room, 
 than they had done in that which they 
 had lately left, when their father en- 
 tered, saying, " Well, girls, I 've good 
 news for you ; this is ball-night : but where 
 is Mrs. Brayforth?" That notable lady 
 was just then examining the kitchen-grate, 
 to ascertain how many bricks it would re-
 
 SCHEMING. S 
 
 quire, to reduce it to the size which would 
 only allow of its consuming her usual nicely- 
 calculated allowance of coals. Having ar- 
 ranged this important affair, she returned 
 to the drawing-room; when it was finally 
 settled that the whole family should attend 
 the assembly in the evening. 
 
 Accordingly, between ten and eleven, 
 the tribe of Brayforth entered the ball- 
 room, and Mrs. Brayforth was, by the 
 gentleman who acted as master of the ce- 
 remonies, introduced to, and seated next, 
 Lady Elizabeth Palmer, the possessor of 
 the largest landed property in the neigh- 
 bourhood. The Senior Captain (whose 
 name was Humphreys) having dined at the 
 Colonel's, led, as in duty bound, Miss Bray- 
 forth to the dancers. Her sister Selina sat 
 down by her Mama, to flirt her fan for a 
 B 2
 
 4 SCHEMING. 
 
 partner ; and the Colonel lost no time in 
 cutting-in at a cassino-table. 
 
 In a few moments ]Major Hildebrand 
 Brayforth, her brother, brought up to 
 Selina a young man, whom he intro- 
 duced as Lord ISIontrevor, whom he 
 had known in the Guards, and who was 
 
 now with a recruiting party at D . 
 
 This sprig of nobility was dressed like 
 any thing but a gentleman, and spoke 
 any thing but English. He told Selina 
 that he had been at the intolerable trouble 
 of being presented to her, that she might 
 dance with liim, as he wished to push the 
 natives about, and throw them into confu- 
 sion. On her half rising to join him in 
 this polite enterprise, he lisped, " 'Pon ho- 
 nour, the 'streme exertion of crossing the 
 •oom has so 'pletely done me up, I must
 
 SCHEMING. 5 
 
 'pose myself." He then threw himself on 
 the bench, next to Lady Elizabeth, yawn- 
 ed violently, and to her bow returned a 
 vacant stare. Selina felt quite elated at 
 the idea of having a Lord for a partner, and 
 was only impatient for the time when, hav- 
 ing recovered his weariness, he would lead 
 her to the dancers. As to Mrs. Brayforth, 
 she already fancied herself mother-in-law 
 to the Peer, who, after playing for a length 
 of time with his quizzing-glass, put it to 
 his eye, and, looking Lady Elizabeth Pal- 
 mer full in the face, said, " Dear Lady 
 'Lisbeth, are you here? Who'd have 
 thought it ! " Then, not listening to her 
 answer, he asked Selina to lend him her 
 smelling-bottle. She told him she was 
 really very sorry, but she had not one about 
 her. " True," cried his Lordship ; " I for-
 
 6* SCHEMING. 
 
 got, you women don't carry holsters now, 
 so can't bring any thing with you to make 
 yourselves useful." This certainly was not 
 civil, but, from an Earl, it must be witty ; 
 at least so Selina thought, and simpered 
 an approving smile. A few minutes silence 
 ensued, which was interrupted by a lady, 
 who, rouged up to the eyes, and not 
 clothed half way up to the shoulders, 
 came up to Lord IMontrevor, and, giv- 
 ing liim a smart tap on the shoulder, cried, 
 " Ah ! my Lord, what are you doing here ? " 
 To which he replied, " Why, nothing, 
 faith — am horribly ennuied — asked half a 
 dozen misses to dance, 'fused by 'em all." 
 Selina stared, Mrs. Brayforth bit her lips — 
 when his Lordship, addressing the former, 
 said, "Isn't it so? — believe you^re one of 
 the cruel fair— didn't you say you wouldn't
 
 SCHEMING. 
 
 dance?*' " Oh, good gracious ! no," she re- 
 turned ; " I really thought I was engaged 
 to you, and I'm sure Ma thought so too : 
 Dear me ! I expected you would stand up 
 with me directly." " Did you, 'eally ?" 
 cried his Lordship; " who 'd dance in such 
 a cowd, overpowering? — Ar'n't you tired, 
 standing?" he asked INIrs. Saunders, but 
 without offering to resign his seat to her. 
 " Come, come, Montrevor," said that lady, 
 " do be rational, you won't lose your repu- 
 tation by it here, as no one in the room 
 knows it is not fashionable, therefore you 
 may be so without any risk of being called 
 a quiz." " Oh you 'commodating creature !" 
 replied his Lordship; " do you speak 
 truth?" " Indeed I do," said ]Mrs. Saun- 
 ders ; '• so come, give me your seat; for 
 I 'm quite v>'eary." " Ah ! " returned Lord
 
 O SCHEMING. 
 
 ?.Iontrevor, '*' it won't do ; what, making a 
 set at my place ? Pray," he continued, after 
 a long yawn, " say something to 'muse me, 
 Saunders." *' Come home and sup with 
 me, after the ball," said the lady. " Oh. 
 your suppers are a bore ; besides, you 
 know, I never eat." " Colonel Bray forth 
 shall ask his Lordship to dinner," thought 
 his managing wife. " But who have we 
 here?" said ]\Irs. Saunders, looking at Se- 
 ll ua through her spectacles; ** some of the 
 late arrivals? Introduce me, INIontrevor." 
 " Me ! " cried the peer ; " I don't know 
 the people, what 's their name ? " " Bray- 
 forth," she replied, in a half whisper, 
 " son of Lord Alpomp ; you know them 
 very well." " Do I ? may be so." At 
 that moment a young Lieutenant came 
 lip, witli numberless bows, to Selina, and
 
 SCHEMING. 9 
 
 Legged she would do him the honour of 
 dancing with him. She, quite delighted 
 at having an opportunity of shewing Lord 
 Montrevor she did not depend on his cha- 
 rity, directly gave her hand to the Lieute- 
 nant ; when, to her surprise, his Lordship, 
 in something between a drawl and lisp, 
 said, " I thought you told me you were en- 
 gaged to me ; and I was just drawing on 
 my gloves to take you to the set." " La ! 
 good gracious ! " cried Selina, charmed to 
 find he still intended to keep his engage- 
 ment ; " how strange ! I thought your 
 Lordship had changed your mind." " My 
 Lord," said Mrs. Brayforth, "my daughter 
 is quite agreeable to having the honour of 
 dancing with your Lordship. I am ready 
 to attend your Ladyship to the card-room," 
 she added, turning to Lady Elizabeth Pal- 
 B 3
 
 10 SCHEMING. 
 
 nier ; who, having long appeared weary of 
 the voisinage, had asked her if she would 
 like to take a turn in the other rooms. She 
 then, with a stately air, followed Lady Eli- 
 zabeth, thinking she left her daughter 
 just going to lead off " Mrs. M'Cloud " 
 with the peer. 
 
 " So you really are going to dance, 
 poor Montrevor?" said IMrs. Saunders, 
 sitting down by him on the seat ]Mrs. 
 Brayforth had just left. " Poor IVIontre- 
 vor!" she repeated; for though that lady 
 had no daughters of her own to get ofF, as 
 the scheming Mamas term it, yet did her 
 natural love of mischief always make her, 
 either by nod, wink, or innuendo, tr)^ to 
 prevent those of her friends from making 
 a good establishment ; besides, dancing 
 prevented card-playing, and so well did she
 
 SCHEMING. 11 
 
 know how to play Iter cards, that her game 
 was always to get the young and rich to a 
 little innocent Loo. With her usual ob- 
 ject in view then, she said, " So you really 
 are going to dance, poor Montrevor ?" 
 " Me !" cried his Lordship, " you rave, 
 surely" — at the same time dropping Se- 
 lina's hand, which he had taken. Miss 
 Silly found this a little too vexatious, and 
 was half inclined to pout ; but she thought 
 her best plan was to play the good-hu- 
 moured, and shew his Lordship how well 
 she could bear disappointments. 
 
 " Let's have a rub, Saunders, at two- 
 handed cassino sovereign points," cried Lord 
 Montrevor. JMrs. Saunders took him at his 
 word, and called for cards. " ]My knee 
 shall be the table," said the Earl. Ac- 
 cordingly they began dealing, and playing :
 
 12 SCHEMING. 
 
 Mrs. Saunders, having one of her ex- 
 traordinary runs of good cards, marked 
 every point, and was within one of whi- 
 ning the rubber, on which she had a large 
 bet with his Lordship — and was highly de- 
 lighted that she should clear enough out 
 of him, to cover the expenses of the supper 
 she that night intended giving to some 
 young people ; when he, hastily snatch- 
 ing Selina's hand, started up, crying, " We 
 shall be ousted if we don't stand up." To 
 the ground fell the cards and counters, 
 and with them Mrs. Saunders's golden 
 hopes ! '' Oh, you careless creature !" she 
 exclaimed, swallowing her disappointment, 
 and internally resolving to make up for it, 
 by laying it on thicker the first oppor- 
 tunity ; but the " careless creature'' was 
 now at the top of the room with Se-
 
 SCHEMING. 13 
 
 Una, whom he placed above her sister. 
 " What must we do to get to the 
 bottom ?" asked his Lordship. " La ! 
 don't you know ?" retiu'ned his intelli- 
 gent partner ; " we must dance down." 
 " Let the next couple get on first, 
 that I may see the plan of the thing,'' 
 said the Earl, at the same time moving: to 
 the place below Captain Humphreys. Se- 
 lina reluctantly descended, and Miss Bray- 
 forth began the dance. " Vous Hes tes 
 stupide, n'cst il pas vai ?" said the Peer. 
 " La ! good gracious, no, I love balls and 
 dancing above all things." " 'Tis immo- 
 derately tiresome," yawned his Lordship, 
 " I '11 go see my poodle ;" and sauntering 
 down the room he left the apartment, to 
 the utter dismay of the disappointed Se- 
 lina, who found herself left at the top of
 
 14 SCHEMING. 
 
 the dance, without any resource. " I 'm 
 sure, now, this is monstrous rude," she 
 muttered, " but 1 mustn't say so, or per- 
 haps Ma will be angry, and say it's all my 
 fault." 
 
 Mrs. Saunders now came up to her, 
 and without any introduction, took hold 
 of her by the arm, saying, '' My dear 
 creature, what have you done with Lord 
 Montrevor ; I thought he was dancing 
 with you ?" She was just going to relate 
 her disastrous situation, when her brother, 
 the ^lajor, joined them, crying, " Well, 
 Silly, didn't I bring you a dashing part- 
 ner ? prime, eh ?" She was prevented 
 replying by Mrs. Saunders desiring her to 
 introduce her to her brother ; and they all 
 three strolled into the card-room, where 
 they found Colonel Brayforth conversing
 
 SCHEMING. 15 
 
 with Lady Elizabeth Pahner about his 
 sisters and different branches of his family 
 with whom she was acquainted. Talking 
 of them was an indulgence he never dared 
 allow himself in the hearing of his cava 
 sposa, w^hose attention was then, fortu- 
 nately for him, wholly engaged by a dis- 
 puted point at one of the card-tables, 
 where she had been looking on, and 
 w'hich was now left to her to decide. 
 
 As Mrs. Saunders, Selina, and the ^la- 
 jor, w^ere making their way up to Colonel 
 Bray forth and Lady Elizabeth, they passed 
 Lord Montrevor, who, lolling on a chair, 
 w^as amusing himself by tossing up biscuits 
 for his poodle to catch. " Ah ! my fair 
 partner," cried his Lordship, " are you 
 lierc yet?" at the same time throwing a 
 biscuit in such a direction, as to occasion
 
 16 SCHEMING. 
 
 liis clog to rush between Lady Eiizabetli 
 and Selina, with a violence that almost 
 brought the former to the ground, and 
 completely tore the embroidered trimmings 
 of the latter. Lady Elizabeth threw a 
 look " more in pity than in anger," on the 
 right honourable cause of this confusion. 
 But I leave it to my fair readers to ima- 
 gine, w^hat Selina felt, v>hen she beheld 
 the devastation in her transparent drapery. 
 However, she exhibited no resentment, 
 though, I must acknowledge, it required 
 lier utmost recollection of the many les- 
 sons Mrs. Brayforth had given her, never 
 to shew^ ill-humour to her superiors, to 
 prevent her doing it in the present in- 
 stance. But when she reflected that he 
 was an Earl, an unmarried Earl, and 
 could, if he chose, nnake her a Countess — a
 
 SCHEMING. 17 
 
 calculation she had just sense enough to 
 make —she doubted whether even the dog 
 of such a being coidd do wrong ; and, as it 
 should seem, finished by thinking it could 
 not : for, ceasing to regard her tattered 
 garments, she stooped down to pat and 
 stroke the roughs eared destroyer. 
 
 They were now joined by INIrs. Erayforth, 
 who came up to them in triumph, declaring 
 she had just been empire in a dispute, and 
 settled it to the satisfaction of both parties. 
 And though the Colonel coughed, to pre- 
 vent the little mistake being heard, it was 
 of no avail; for the more he coughed, the 
 oftener did she repeat her words, for fear 
 her considerate husband's unfortunate fit 
 of coughing had prevented her being heard ; 
 so that he was obliged to affect not to ob- 
 serve what she said, and, with all the ease
 
 18 SCHEMING. 
 
 of a man of fashion, continued talking to 
 Lady Elizabeth ; and having requested her 
 company at dinner the next day — an invi- 
 tation she seemed to accept with pleasure — 
 he handed her to her carriage, v^hich was 
 that moment announced. IMajor Bray- 
 forth then asked Lord jNIontrevor if he 
 would make one of their dinner party the 
 following day ; to which the Peer replied, 
 he should be immensely happy. 
 
 Miss Brayforth and her obsequious part- 
 ner, Captain Humphreys, now came up ; 
 and the latter, with his usual smirk, directly 
 began to make his court to Lord Mon- 
 trevor, by admiring his poodle. " Beau- 
 tiful creature ! very fine animal indeed ! 
 German, I suppose, by his whiskers, ha ! 
 ha! ha!" and the Captain laughed at 
 what he thought wit. " What 's his
 
 SCHEMING. 19 
 
 name, my Lord ?" — " Fool ! " said his 
 Lordship drily. " He ! he ! he ! very 
 good name indeed f poor fellow, give us 
 your paw." — " Take care, he may bite," 
 
 said the Earl. " Do fold it diagonally," 
 
 said jMiss Brayforth, to Captain Hum.- 
 phreys, as he gave her her shawl. 
 
 Colonel Brayforth then returned, and 
 saying the carriage was ready, their party 
 retired.
 
 20 SCHEMING. 
 
 CHAPTER 11. 
 
 The following morning, Colonel Bray- 
 forth entered the breakfast-room, with an 
 open letter in his hand, " IVIy dear," said 
 he, addressing his wife, *' I find that my 
 ward, whom we did not expect 'till next 
 week, will arrive here to-day. She says, 
 we may he certain of seeing her in a few 
 hours after we receive her letter." 
 
 " We must have liad a good dinner, 
 and a clean table-cloth at all events to-day, 
 though it is Saturday, as we've company 
 to dinner," replied tlie honourable Mrs.
 
 SCHEMING. 21 
 
 Brayforth ; " but I hope IMiss Marsden is 
 to pay handsomely for living with us." 
 
 " She will act, I am sure, as a gentle- 
 woman ought ; and I, in my turn, must not 
 forget that I owe something to myself, as 
 eldest son of Lord Alpomp ; and mine 
 must not be made a boarding-house." 
 
 Alarmed at hearing his own voice as- 
 sert his will — a thing he so seldom did, that 
 he almost doubted his power of so doing — 
 the Colonel in silence awaited the conse- 
 quence. " 'Tis very warm," said Mrs. 
 Brayforth, as she drew a large woollen 
 shawl over her shoulders; "there will be 
 no necessity to order a fire in INliss Mars- 
 den's room." 
 
 *' La, Pa, do you know whether she is 
 handsome, or dances well?" asked Miss 
 Selina.
 
 22 SCHEMING. 
 
 " I have not seen her these eight years," 
 replied her father ; " she was then a very 
 pretty child of ten years old." 
 
 " Beautiful children seldom grow up 
 handsome," remarked Miss Bray forth ; 
 " hut who is JNIiss JNIarsden? for though 
 you have often mentioned your ward, and 
 her large fortune, you never have told us 
 who she is." 
 
 " Her father w^as a rich merchant at Li- 
 verpool," returned the Colonel ; " her mo- 
 ther was 
 
 '' Pray, Colonel," cried Mrs. Brayforth in- 
 terrupting him, for she dreaded hearing the 
 many virtues of Mrs. Marsden recapitulat- 
 ed — " pray Colonel, don't tire us about the 
 woman ; I think I shew great condescen- 
 sion in taking on me to introduce her daugh- 
 ter, a girl of neither name nor family to
 
 SCHEMING. 
 
 23 
 
 compare to ours." " La, INIa, now you talk 
 of name," said Selina, " 'tis \ery odd, but I 
 never knew what yours was before you 
 married Pa." 
 
 '•' I msh, Silly, you would leave oiFthat 
 foolish way you have of always saying every 
 thing is very odd ; and do hold up your 
 head, jMiss : I w onder, after being so long at 
 boarding-school, you don't know better; you 
 make yourself quite redickless'' — Vvas the 
 answer given to Selina, in no very amiable 
 tone, by her mother; who seemed inclined to 
 make the lecture much longer, but at that 
 moment a loud knock was heard at the 
 door. 
 
 In a few minutes a servant entered, 
 and said Miss JNIarsden was arrived ; 
 and immediately a most lovely girl made 
 her appearance. Colonel Brayforth ad-
 
 24 SCHEMIMG. 
 
 vancecl to meet her, and taking her hy the 
 hand, led her up to Mrs. Brayforth. That 
 lady received her with great dignity, and 
 was much surprised that this nohody, the 
 daughter of a merchant, not related to one 
 Right Honourable, appeared not in the 
 least embarrassed, at finding herself in the 
 room with, and talking to the daughter-in- 
 law of Lord Viscount Alpomp. 
 
 " I suppose you have breakfasted, and 
 don't choose any refreshment after your 
 journey," said Mrs. Brayforth. " When- 
 ever you wish it, I will accompany you to 
 your apartment," added Miss Brayforth, 
 " and see that every thing is arranged as 
 you like." For this young lady, who pos- 
 sessed a good deal of her mother's talent 
 for scheming, had already settled her 
 plan, that if they must have the disad-
 
 SCHEMING. 2o 
 
 vantage of having this very beautiful 
 girl with them, she would, as soon as 
 possible, sift into her character, and see 
 how something could be made by her. 
 As to Selina, getting close to her on 
 the sofa, she began a conversation by 
 (to her a most interesting question), 
 " Pray, JMiss, do you dance qua- 
 drilles ?" Colonel Brayforth then said, 
 he would go and read the newspapers ; 
 an employment that generally occupied 
 his time every day from breakfast 
 until dinner — at least so it might 
 be imagined, as he always left home 
 immediately after the former meal, for 
 the purpose, he said, of reading the 
 papers ; and on his return at ten mi- 
 nutes before six, if his lady asked 
 VOL. I. c
 
 26 SCHEMING. 
 
 him how he had been engaged, the 
 reply invariably was, he had been read- 
 ing the newspapers. Ill-natured people 
 indeed there were, who did not scruple 
 to insinuate, that the Colonel's morn- 
 ings were not devoted to studying the 
 parliamentary debates, or accounts from 
 the last Paris Journals, but to what 
 would appear a much more childish, and 
 consequently it might be supposed inno- 
 cent, amusement, namely, trying to roll, 
 with a long stick, different- colon red balls 
 into certain pockets which surrounded 
 a green table ; and so much enjoyment 
 did Colonel Bray forth find in this simple 
 way of passing his mornings, that, al- 
 though many years had elapsed since he 
 had dedicated them to this sole purpose,
 
 SCHEMING. 27 
 
 still were the rolling balls as enchanting 
 a sight to him as is venison to my lord's 
 chaplain, or his first suit of regimentals 
 to a young guardsman. 
 
 C 2
 
 28 SCHEMING. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 That our readers may not be as igno- 
 rant as Selina Brayforth, when she de- 
 clared, " 'Twas very odd, but she never 
 knew what JNIa's name was before she 
 married Pa ;" we will dedicate this chap- 
 ter to the purpose of giving some ac- 
 count of that lady's situation in life, 
 before she was made honourable. The 
 name she claimed from her father (who 
 was as honest a snip as any of the cross- 
 legged fraternity in the principality of 
 Wales) was Jenkins ; to which was pre-
 
 SCHEMING. 29 
 
 fixed that of INIary, out of compliment 
 to her aunt and godmother, who was 
 the most celebrated milliner in the 
 county, and piqued herself on always 
 having the genteelest fashions, as she 
 went regularly every year to Bristol fair, 
 for the purpose of returning with the 
 newest modes to adorn the Cambrian 
 nymphs at the assize balls. Not 
 more anxious is a Bath widow for a 
 husband, than were the Pembrokeshire 
 lasses to examine Mrs. Jones's cargo of 
 finery; and dreadful to the fathers and 
 mothers — as is the thought of peace to 
 militia officers — was the annual arrival 
 of this goddess of taste, for then did 
 their daughters expect to be treated to 
 the latest fashions ; and many a 'squire 
 has sighed over his evening's jug of
 
 30 SCHEMING. 
 
 sweet ale, at parting with five guineas to 
 adorn his rosy-faced Winifred with an 
 elegant dress, which had decorated a 
 booth in Temple-street the preceding 
 week, and having been neglected by the 
 Bristol ladies, was at length purchased 
 by Mrs. Jones — in v.hose boutique of 
 frippery did little Molly Jenkins pass 
 most of her early years. Her mother 
 having died while she was yet very 
 young, and leaving seven children for 
 poor Snip to maintain, Mrs. Jones kindly 
 took on herself to provide for her little 
 god-daughter, and promised to make an 
 honest woman of her. How far she suc- 
 ceeded, will shortly appear. Molly was 
 a smart little girl, with arch black eyes, 
 which did not fail to attract the Haver- 
 fordwest beaux to her aunt's shop.
 
 SCHEMING. 31 
 
 The exciseman and attorney had both 
 whispered " soft nonsense " in her ear. 
 Nay, it was even suspected that young 
 'Squire Ap-Shenken himself had not 
 lolled on the counter so repeatedly, with- 
 out having made some tempting offers 
 to Mrs. Jones's fair niece : — 'twas even 
 said he went so far as to promise her she 
 should have a buggy to ride in, and go 
 with him to London every year. But 
 Molly's virtue was proof against all these 
 temptations, and the citadel still held 
 out against many similar attacks ; to the 
 no small disappointment of several of the 
 Haverfordwest gossips, who had not 
 failed to prognosticate, over their even- 
 ing's dish of hyson, that " little Moll 
 Jenkins would certainly be ruined; for 
 tliough ]>Irs. Jones was herself a very
 
 32 SCHEMING. 
 
 good sort of body, and went to meeting 
 twice every Sunday, yet tliey could all 
 see who wore a mode cloak trimmed with 
 lace since Mr. Lewellyn came last from 
 Oxford." But when month after month 
 rolled on, and no evil consequences ap- 
 peared from the mode cloak, then did 
 they begin to fear their prophecy would 
 never be fulfilled. 
 
 Just at this time Captain Bray- 
 forth came to Haverfordwest with a re- 
 cruiting-party ; and soon after his arrival, 
 being one day quite tired of looking over 
 the bridge, and wanting a ribbon for his 
 watch, he lounged into Mrs. Jones's shop, 
 and for the first time beheld her pretty 
 niece, whose complexion was much 
 heightened and improved at sight of 
 " the Captain." She begged he would
 
 SCHEMING. 33 
 
 allow her to tie the ribbon to his watch. 
 In return, he, throwing down half-a- 
 guinea, desired she would keep the 
 change to buy a pair of gloves. She 
 could not think of it, she said; add- 
 ing, " but you gentlemen of the army 
 are always so polite." He was pressing, 
 the young lady was no less so, and 
 followed him to the door to force him 
 to take his change. He declared, he 
 must give her something for having tied 
 the ribbon, either the money or a kiss. 
 The dispute continued much longer, 
 and perhaps ended in his giving her 
 both — of course much against her will. 
 From that period "the Captain" re- 
 gularly spent several hours, every day, 
 sitting on the counter talking to Molly 
 Jenkins, and amusing himself with 
 c 5
 
 34 SCHEMING. 
 
 drawing his whip in and out of his 
 boots. The fruit-shop was quite de- 
 serted ; even the billiard-table was neg- 
 lected ; and entirely to the fair ma- 
 nufacturer of caps and bonnets did 
 this valiant son of iMars devote his 
 time. 
 
 But man was not born to enjoy un- 
 disturbed felicity ; and suddenly were 
 these happy days to be put an end 
 to. Orders arrived for Captain Bray- 
 forth to join his regiment with the men 
 he had enlisted; and he called, as he 
 imagined, to take a last farew^ell of the 
 pretty milliner. He found her more 
 chanuing than ever. Her aunt was 
 gone to chapel, to hear a famous new 
 preacher. IMolly was alone ; and when 
 he told her he w^as to quit Haverford- 
 west that dav, she burst into tears.
 
 SCHEMING. 35 
 
 « 
 
 saying, " JMust we then part ?" The 
 exclamation made the young officer 
 think there was no necessity for the 
 separation ; and he soon contrived to 
 make Miss Jenkins (as she was from 
 that day called) of the same opinion : 
 for she who had withstood the 'Squire's 
 huggy, could not hold out when the 
 Captain's phaeton and bright bays came 
 to the door. And when JSIrs. Jones re- 
 turned from meeting, accompanied by 
 the sleek-faced preacher, whom she had 
 invited " to eat a bit of dinner " with 
 her, she was much astonished to find, 
 instead of her niece, the following 
 note : — 
 
 " My DERE ANT, 
 
 " Don't go to be unesy abowt me, i 
 am gone with Capten Brayforth, and
 
 S6 SCHEMING. 
 
 wen you se me ageii, i shal hold up my 
 bed every bit as hy, as the Miss Lewis, 
 and then perhaps they may be sory for 
 askin me last Sunday comin out of 
 churtch what i shood do wen my offircer 
 went and left me be hind, tel Fayther 
 i wil ask the Capten to send to him for 
 hour servents lirreys, i dont msh to 
 forget my parrents, as the Fey ten is 
 way tin i have no time to say more at 
 present, so as the Capten says a dew 
 dere ant your lovin knees 
 
 " Mary Jenkins." 
 
 No sooner had ]Mrs, Jones perused 
 this dutiful piece of prose than she burst 
 out into the most violent invectives, 
 ** To think of any niece of her's acting 
 in such a manner ; she could never out-
 
 SCHEMING. 37 
 
 live the disgrace, or face her neighbours 
 again." And it was long before the 
 smooth-tongued ISlv. FawTiwell could per- 
 suade her, that her reputation was not 
 in danger, but " that all the blame 
 would be laid to the charge of the chosen 
 one of Satan, ' the man who delighted 
 in war;' and truly," continued he, " I 
 thought to warn you of the danger of 
 allowing that disciple of the wicked one 
 to hold daily converse with thy kins- 
 woman, for I have observed of late the 
 damsel hath ceased to attend the Ta- 
 bernacle, the consequence of her inter- 
 course with that follower of Beelzebub, 
 ^lat Devil incarnate." 
 
 Oh yes. Sir," said the servant girl, 
 
 ^ entered with the ale for 
 
 was the Devil in scarlet,
 
 38 SCHEMING. 
 
 Sir, that she went with, while she sent 
 me to the hake-house to fetch home the 
 goose-pie." At length Mrs. Jones was 
 calmed by the honied words of the 
 preacher ; and at length he sat down, to 
 partake of the fine white turkey, and 
 celery sauce, which his entertainer had 
 provided for his repast. 
 
 As they were sip]nng their rum-punch, 
 Favmwell observed, that Mrs, Jones 
 would now feel very lonely, deprived of 
 her ungrateful handmaid. His dark eyes 
 sparkled as he gave a glance around the 
 w^ll-furnished apartment, and saw glit- 
 tering through the glass-door of the cup- 
 board the silver tea-pot, spoons, a'" 
 candlesticks. " How^ comfortable 
 it make my earthly pilgrimage "
 
 SCHEMING. 39 
 
 he, " could I induce the mistress of this 
 habitation to let me be her helpmate, 
 and conduct her through the thorny 
 paths of life, in the fear of the Lord." 
 It was generalhv known that Mrs. 
 Jones's husband had left her five hundred 
 pounds at his decease, and it was supposed 
 she had doubled that sum. since his death. 
 Our readers, we hope, will believe, as we 
 do, that mone^/ was to him of no value — 
 the mere dross of the earth. So tho- 
 roughly did he convince the widow of 
 his contempt of it, and that he did not 
 marry her for the lucre of gain, but to 
 have a holy companion in his toilsome 
 journey through life, and that they might 
 mutually assist and strengthen each 
 other in tlieir hopes of salvation ; that
 
 40 SCHEMING. 
 
 the third Sunday after jNIolly Jenkins's 
 departure with " the man who deHghted 
 in war," saw the widow Jones become 
 the wife of the sanctified Fawnwell.
 
 SCHEMING. 41 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Several years had rolled ou ; Captain 
 Bravforth was become colonel of a re- 
 giment, and the father of many chil- 
 dren ; at least Miss Jenkins had brought 
 one into this world of care every ten 
 months, since she had left her aunt's 
 shop, and stept into the phaeton to 
 avoid letting the INIiss Lewis's see what 
 she would do when her qffirccr left her. 
 \Ye cannot deny but that the Colonel's 
 passion for her was in a great degree 
 cooled ; but she contrived, as love de-
 
 42 SCHEMING. 
 
 clined, to make him believe she was so 
 useful to him, that he really imagined, 
 if any thing was to occasion her quitting 
 him, ruin must unavoidably be the con- 
 sequence. She locked up the tea and 
 sugar, burnt the ends of candles in a 
 save-all, and never let him pay a bill 
 without first sitting down to see whe- 
 ther it was cast up right ; and if he ob- 
 jected to this process, as tedious, she 
 always put him in mind of her having 
 saved him nine-pence half-penny at 
 Birmingham by the same precaution. 
 She mended his gloves, kept the 
 blacking for his boots and shoes, and 
 only gave out every day the exact quan- 
 tity she knew was wanting. She al- 
 ways carried the key of the small-beer 
 cock about her. She herself combed
 
 SCHEMING. 43 
 
 the Colonel's hair, and tied it; folded 
 his cravat and aired his shirt; all of 
 which saved his keeping a valet. Could 
 the trifling expense of herself, six 
 children, and nursery-maids in propor- 
 tion, counterbalance such savings? Un- 
 doubtedly not. And he would, as he 
 said, have been ruined, only for the 
 prudent management of his beloved 
 Miss Jenkins. She, amiable creature ! 
 had given many gentle hints, of how 
 happy she should be was she lawfully 
 united to " the father of her dear chil- 
 dren ;" an appellation she Avas extremely 
 fond of bestowing on Colonel Bray forth. 
 But as yet, all her attempts to obtain 
 the completion of her wishes had proved 
 ineffectual. She certainly enjoyed every 
 thing that would have been her's, as
 
 44 SCHEMING. 
 
 the Colonel's wife, and was paid all the 
 honours due to such a personage in a 
 regiment. The officers who went out 
 shooting sent her game. The surgeon 
 would have left every soldier in the hos- 
 pital to expire, for want of his atten- 
 dance, rather than not fly to dress her 
 finger, if it was sore, where the needle 
 had touched it. The Captains bowed 
 to her with complaisance, the Lieu- 
 tenants with respect, the Ensigns with 
 submission. The Chaplain christened 
 her children, said grace, and carved for 
 her. Yet all this availed not, so long 
 as she saw the wife of the Major visited 
 by the ladies in every town in which 
 they were quartered : still did she sigh 
 to be the Honourable JMrs. Brayforth, 
 and anticipated the pleasure she should
 
 SCHEMING. 45 
 
 derive from taking the j)^^ of the INIa- 
 jor's wife, whose superiority had so 
 often caused her the heartburn. But 
 Colonel Brayforth still remembered 
 that she was INIolly Jenkins, the tailor's 
 daughter ; and the blood of the Alpomps 
 revolted from the idea of a lawful con- 
 nection with such a person. No! he 
 could live with her for years, think her 
 good enough to be the mother of his 
 children, and to preside at his table ; 
 and could himself appear as the devoted 
 slave of her every whim — all that was 
 perfectly consistent with the rules of 
 nobility : but, to become her husband, 
 forbid it pride! He could never appear 
 before his family if he committed an act 
 so degrading to their consequence. But 
 that act he did at. length commit.
 
 46 SCHEMING. 
 
 though not at a time when he thought 
 of ever agam seeing his offended fa- 
 mily ; for at the moment he was united 
 to Molly Jenkins he believed he should 
 the next be called to appear before a 
 very diflPerent tribunal ! 
 
 In short, Colonel Brayforth caught a 
 most violent sore throat, by walking in a 
 great heat from the billiard-table, in a 
 heavy shower of rain, that he might be 
 at home at the accustomed time, ^\e 
 minutes before six, with the usual re- 
 mark, " he had been reading the news- 
 papers." Mr. M'Setill, the surgeon, 
 was immediately sent for, and to make 
 his skill appear the greater, in case his 
 patient should, by accident, recover 
 under his care, he declared him, with 
 his northern pronunciation, to be " vara
 
 SCHEMING. 47 
 
 eel indeed, dangerously eel, vara deefe- 
 cult case indeed." Then did JMiss Jenkins 
 tremble for the fulfilment of her air- 
 built hopes, which would all have fallen 
 to the ground had Colonel Brayforth 
 slipped out of the world; a thing not 
 improbable : his danger indeed was great, 
 no less than four physicians having 
 been called in, to assist Mr. M'Setill. 
 And this son of Mars, who had escaped 
 the dangers of a Birmingham riot, and 
 been in several severe fights, (sham 
 ones we mean,) in which he had most 
 valorously stormed many a breach, 
 sword in hand, with a countenance 
 on which the most undaunted bravery 
 appeared — now seemed likely to ter- 
 minate his military career, not amidst 
 the sound of kettle-drums, trumpets'
 
 48 SCHEMING. 
 
 and all the et-cetei^as of a soldier's 
 death on the field of glory, but in the 
 common hum- drum way, in which 
 every booby country esquire makes his 
 exit; namely, with a fat nurse-tender 
 snoring by his bed, and, on each side 
 of it, one of the fraternity who have 
 been for time immemorial allowed to 
 forward people, in a quiet and easy 
 manner, on their way " to that coun- 
 try from whose bourne no traveller re- 
 turns." Then did Molly Jenkins weep 
 and wail at the thoughts of losing all 
 chance of becoming the Honourable 
 wife of the Colonel, and also of losing 
 all the comfort of sharing his income. 
 And full well she knew he had nothing 
 to bequeath : for in spite of her m.ost 
 rigid economy, and denying herself and
 
 SCHEMIKG. 49 
 
 children, to use her own words, " al- 
 most the necessaries of life," and all 
 too, from the disinterested motive of 
 preventing her beloved Colonel from 
 being involved in debt ; yet every year 
 did she make it appear clearly to his 
 comprehension, that they did but just, 
 with all her frugality, live on his in- 
 come, and that a single pound did not 
 remain in her hands. And truly that 
 was the case, as always, previous to this 
 annual review of the expenditure, . she 
 regularly remitted what money she had 
 saved in the course of the year, to an 
 attorney in London, to have it placed 
 out to the best advantage. As yet, she 
 had not been able to realize more than 
 about three thousand pounds, in her 
 laudable plan of savings and private 
 VOL. I. D
 
 50 SCHEMING. 
 
 accumulation. The falling off, there- 
 fore, would have been great indeed ! 
 as that was all that she would have 
 had for herself and children. 
 
 It had always been her intention to be- 
 come virtue-struck, as soon as she had, by 
 what she termed her " honest industry," 
 got together a sum sufficient to enable 
 her to live as well v.ithout, as with 
 Colonel Brayforth ; and to make one 
 final attempt at gaining the point, of 
 being made his wife, by telling him, 
 '• She must leave him ; for that she felt 
 herself too miserable, now she was of an 
 age (a circumstance that occasions many 
 ladies to see and feel how very wicked 
 are those practices which * age' prevents 
 their continuing,) to reflect on the heinous 
 sin of living with him, without being
 
 SCHEMING. 51 
 
 joined in the holy bands of matrimony, 
 to think of going on, any longer, in such 
 an evil course of life ; and that she was 
 determined to pass the rest of her days in 
 retirement and poverty ; in hopes that the 
 sufferings of her latter years would be 
 deemed punishment sufficient to atone for 
 the indiscretions which her extreme youth, 
 and, above all, love for her dear Colonel, 
 had led her to commit." She counted 
 much on the hope, that, w^hen it came 
 to this struggle, the distracted Colonel 
 would propose marriage, rather than lose 
 for ever, his beloved INIary, who, from 
 custom, was become necessary to him. 
 And even if he did not, she still had it in 
 her power, as a dernier ressort, to give 
 herself, and her privy purse, to the Chap- 
 lain ; who would, she knew, any day, 
 
 UR,V£RSITY Of
 
 52 SCHEMING. 
 
 gladly make an honest woman of her: 
 and be most haj)py to retire with her, to 
 enjoy the fruits of her economy, in some 
 country town; where her reputation, as 
 a woman of the greatest virtue, could 
 soon and easily be established, by her 
 constantly attending church, and being 
 loud in her exclamations of astonishment 
 at the wickedness of the times; and 
 always finishing with, " For her part, 
 she could not think how any w^oman, 
 who had done such things, could have 
 the face to shew herself to the world; 
 but there were people who had no 
 shame ! " ' 
 
 All these well-digested plans seemed 
 now about to be frustrated, by the Co- 
 lonel's unlucky walk from the (to him 
 unlucky) billiard- table.
 
 SCHEMING. 53 
 
 CHAPTER V 
 
 Weeping then — but not such tears as 
 fall from the eyes of ladies fair, on their 
 cambric handkerchiefs, when the event 
 is about to take place which will put 
 them in quiet possession of a comfortable 
 jointure — stood the tender INIary, at the 
 foot of her beloved Colonel's bed. " What 
 is to become," thought he, " of that 
 creature, and her children, when I am 
 gone ? I have not a sixpence to leave 
 her; and such is her reward, for ten 
 years' studying to make me comfortable.
 
 54 SCHEMING. 
 
 and to prevent my being imposed 
 upon." — " ^lary," said he, " I have 
 been the ruin of you ; I have nothing 
 to leave you; but, had I millions, 
 they should be yours, to make you com- 
 fortable when I am no more." " Talk 
 not to me of comfort, when I lose you," 
 replied the sobbing ISIary, " I shall 
 never feel it no more ; I shall soon follow 
 you, I feel I shall. Was I your wife, I 
 should never live six months after you to 
 claim the pension, as your widow. No ! 
 I want nothing w^hen you are gone !" 
 " True," thought Colonel Brayforth, 
 " I have it yet in my power to entitle 
 her to the pension, and why delay?" 
 Still did his noble blood gather about 
 his heart, at the thoughts of bestowing 
 his name on the tailor's daughter. —
 
 SCHEMING. 35 
 
 " Yet," he continued to reflect, " he 
 should not be alive to hear her called by 
 it ; it could not aiFect him in the grave." 
 He shuddered : *' ISIary," he said, " I 
 will marry you immediately; I won't 
 leave you and my children to starve." 
 i\Iary covered her face with her hand- 
 kerchief, and, from the violence of her 
 sobs, 'twas supposed, wept bitterly. " I 
 can never love you more," she cried, 
 " from being married to you ; or shall I 
 mourn your loss more as your widow ; 
 and don't think I '11 go to live to enjoy 
 the pension." Tears seemed to choke 
 her utterance. " You shall be my 
 wife ;" returned the Colonel : " leave 
 me, my love, to be quiet for half an 
 hour, that I may have strength to go 
 through the ceremony. Send for Swal-
 
 56 SCHEMING. 
 
 lowall, lie will get every thing done 
 right." 
 
 Quite exhausted from having spoken 
 so much, Colonel Bray forth sunk on 
 his pillow in great agony; and Mary 
 left the apartment to send for the 
 ohliging Chaplain, Swallowall : and after 
 giving him the necessary instructions, 
 and receiving his congratulations on the 
 approaching event, (her marriage we 
 mean, not the Colonel's death,) seated 
 herself in the drawing-room to await his 
 return, and to meditate on the unex- 
 pected accomplishment of her earthly 
 wishes. Some time had elapsed, when 
 the door opened, and in came, not the 
 eagerly expected Chaplain, with the 
 tools necessary for proceeding to busi- 
 ness, hut the Surgeon, with a smiling 
 face, that seemed to announce his being
 
 SCHEMING. 57 
 
 the bearer of, what he imagined, good 
 news. 
 
 " I am come, my dear Madam," he 
 cried, " to mak you queete hoppy ; I have 
 just been up to see our respeected freend, 
 and found him awaked from a sweet 
 sleep, and queete out of danger." — 
 " And you have told him so ?" hastily 
 asked Miss Jenkins. '' Oh, seertainly," 
 returned ]Mr. M'Setill; " and his re- 
 covery is all owing to the meexture I 
 ordered for him twa hours ago." ** Then 
 you, and your mixture, has ruined me !" 
 cried the Lady, who found this was no 
 time for disguise ; and that her only 
 chance, now, was making the Surgeon 
 her friend in the affair. " Then you, 
 and your mixture, has ruined me ! For 
 D 3
 
 58 SCHEMING. 
 
 if 3^011 had not been in sucli haste to tell 
 the Colonel he v/as out of danger, the next 
 half hour would have made me his wife." 
 She then related on what account she 
 was to have been united, 'till death did 
 them part, to Colonel Bray forth ; and 
 finished by saying, " Now, JNIr. M'Se- 
 till, you see it depends on you; it is in 
 your power to save me from the disap- 
 pointment which your last visit to your 
 patience has occasioned me." The Scot 
 declared, ^' Nai thing could gie him mair 
 pleesure than seerving his gude freend. 
 Miss Jeenkins, for whom he had the 
 greetest respeect, if she would only teell 
 him hov^ it wis to be done." " Then 
 you must see Colonel Brayforth again," 
 she said, " and tell him the dangerous
 
 SCHEMING. 59 
 
 .s}Tnptoms is returned ; there can be no 
 harm in that, as any thing you say, you 
 know, "\dll not prevent liis recovery." 
 
 " 'Tis a deelicate piece of business," 
 replied the Xorth Briton ; " 'tis a vara 
 deelicate piece of business, I never told 
 a lee in aw my leef." 
 
 " Hand me that bottle of hartshorn," 
 said JMiss Jenkins, who thought she had 
 hit on a method of quieting the con- 
 science of the too scrupulous Caledonian ; 
 ** I feel very faint; but no wonder, con- 
 sidering the fatigues I 've gone through, 
 and that I 'm again in the family way." 
 M'Setill gave her the hartshorn with the 
 greatest alacrity, saying, " My dear Ma- 
 dam, I deedn't know you were going to 
 be bleessed with an addeetion to your 
 family." " That will be." thoudit he
 
 60 SCHEMING. 
 
 *' twinty gueencas in my way, accord- 
 ing to the usual custom of the gude Co- 
 lonel. It will be most to my advantage, 
 I believe, to serve her ; slie is a fine 
 breeder, and may yet bring me more 
 practice than any young woman of qua- 
 lity, whom my worthy freend might 
 marry from the high circles in Lon- 
 don." These reflections made, " I have 
 thought, my gude Madam," said the 
 Scot, " that, in decei\dng the Colonel I 
 shall seerve him vara much, and that too 
 without laying him under the weight of 
 feeling his obligation to me : for, wha 's 
 the w^oman could mak him sic a gude 
 w^eefe, as just your own canty sell ? If 
 I did na' think 'twis for the beenifit of 
 baith, my conscience would nai leet me 
 do it."
 
 ' SCHEMING. 61 
 
 " That child looks ill, does n't he ?" 
 asked Miss Jenkins, pointing to a hoy of 
 three years old, who was playing, in the 
 full bloom of health, at the window. 
 " I'm very much afraid," she continued, 
 '•' he is getting the small-pox. I have 
 only delayed having the four youngest 
 inoculated till their father is better." 
 " That will be twinty gueeneas more, at 
 least, in my pocket," thought M*Setill, 
 as he replied, '*' You are parfeectly right, 
 my gude INIadam ; there is nai teeme to 
 be lost, the sooner they have it the 
 better." 
 
 Miss Jenkins now finding that her 
 hands were much swelled, a thing not to 
 be surprised at, in her situation, and 
 that, consequently, a ring, of consider- 
 able value, was much too tight for her
 
 62 SCHEMING. 
 
 third finger, slipped it, with great ease, 
 on the fat, round, stumpy first finger of 
 the now obliging ]M*Setill : and the plan 
 of proceeding being finally settled, the 
 Scot took his leave of his " vara gude 
 freend" Miss Jenkins, until the usual 
 hour for his paying his evening visit to 
 his patient, whom he was to find, to his 
 very great astonishment, much worse 
 than he had yet been. And the tender 
 JNIary, in the interim, stationed herself 
 in the apartment leading to the Colo- 
 nel's, that she might, by her provident 
 care, prevent the possibility of any cir- 
 cumstance occurring, which would have 
 impeded the completion of her schemes.
 
 SCHEMING. 63 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 At the appointed time in the evening, 
 Surgeon JNI'Setill came. He was booted 
 and spurred, and seemed in great haste. 
 Indeed, he told IMiss Jenkins, as he was 
 going to the sick man's room, he had 
 not a moment to spare ; that his horse 
 waited at the door to take him, as soon 
 as he had seen his patient, to his uncle, 
 who was at the point of death ; and he 
 concluded by saying, that, though it was 
 of the greatest consequence to him to 
 see his uncle, " the Laird of Craigalpin,
 
 64) SCHEMING. 
 
 before he died, yet he would iiai for the 
 world ha' breeken his promeese to his 
 glide freend, her own worthy sell." 
 They then entered the Colonel's apart- 
 ment, who was lying perfectly at ease in 
 his mind, from the assurance M*Setill 
 had given him in the morning that 
 he was out of danger ; little thinking 
 (Oh the ingratitude of the creature 
 man !) of his loving Mary, and still 
 less of fulfilling the promise he had so 
 lately made her; instead of which, he 
 was considering whether it would not 
 be better in future to play with the 
 mace instead of the cue ; he certainly 
 could not lose more by it, as he seldom 
 or ever won. He had, therefore, just 
 determined to open his next billiard 
 campaign, armed with the new weapon^
 
 SCHEMING. 65 
 
 when IVI'Setill, taking him by the hand, 
 and feeling his pulse, looked grave, and 
 gave, what appeared to be, an involun- 
 tary start ; then, knitting his brows, he 
 asked his patient how he felt himself, 
 and whether the soreness in his throat 
 continued. To which Colonel Brayforth 
 replied, he felt quite easy, and the sore- 
 ness had entirely gone off. " So I 
 feared," said the Scot. "Good Hea- 
 vens !" exclaimed Miss Jenkins, " you 
 look alarmed, Mr. M'Setill ; what is it 
 you apprehend ? — For mercy's sake 
 
 " " Nay, my gude madam, do 
 
 not affleect yoursel thus; the sight of 
 your distreess only seerves to agitate the 
 worthy Colonel, and will hasten the 
 
 morti I mean it may increase the 
 
 danger." " You checked yourself," said
 
 66 SCHEMING. 
 
 the sick man ; " you think a mortifica- 
 tion is going to take place — don't be 
 afraid to tell me my situation ; I have 
 reasons which make me wish to know it, 
 and desire you will let me have your 
 opinion." The surgeon again felt his 
 patient's pulse, requested him to put 
 out his tongue, then shaking his head, 
 he declared " the case was a vara bad 
 one, but perhaps — there was still a 
 chance —he hoped — " "Don't deceive 
 me with hopes," said Colonel Brayforth, 
 " but inform me how long you think I 
 may yet live.'' " I canna say exactly," 
 replied the Caledonian ; " but if the 
 mortification comes on as queeckly as I 
 expeect, I 'm afraid a few hours will de- 
 preeve me of my best freend." JNIiss 
 Jenkins fell on the bed in a fiiinting fit.
 
 SCHEMING. 67 
 
 the Lest proof she could give of the 
 dreadful shock this unexpected sentence 
 was to her. 
 
 At that moment a servant came, and 
 whispered JM^Setill, telling him, " his 
 man vras below, and said another mes- 
 senger had arrived, to desire he would 
 go immediately to his dying uncle." 
 " In the name of St. Andrew," cried 
 the Scot, " what can I do ? I canna 
 leave Colonel Brayforth, though naitli- 
 ing mair can I do for him." '*' Don't 
 stay on my account," said his patient, 
 " hut send Swallowall to me." " And 
 fly," cried JMiss Jenkins, who, with the 
 aid of IM'Setill, had recovered from her 
 swoon, " And fly for Doctor Finish 
 and Doctor Curefew ; bid them come 
 instantly — call in every physician in the
 
 68 SCHEMING. 
 
 place." She could have clone no more, 
 if she had wished the Colonel's danger 
 to become real. The North Briton 
 then hastily left the room in great ap- 
 parent agitation. " I hav€ now ceer- 
 tainly," he thought, " made one sure 
 freend ; I'll see whether I cannot manage 
 to make another by this affair." And 
 mounting his horse, he set off full speed, 
 " to try," he said, " to be in time to 
 receive the last breath of his uncle, the 
 Laird of Craigalpin. 
 
 In ten minutes after his departure, 
 the daughter of David Jenkins became, 
 by the assistance of the Reverend 
 Jeremy Swallowall, the wife of the 
 Honourable Hildebrand Brayforth, el- 
 dest son of the Right Honourable Lord 
 Viscount Alpomp ; and immediately
 
 4 SCHEMING. 69 
 
 after the ceremony, the bridegroom, 
 finding himself very drowsy, closed his 
 eyes, never expecting to open them 
 again on this side the grave. 
 
 Gentle reader, don't be surprised at the 
 calm manner in which this martial hero 
 turned round on his pillow, to settle 
 himself in a quiet way to take a nap, 
 from which he did not expect to aw^ake 
 in this world. The Colonel did not fear 
 death ; he certainly thought it rather 
 an awkward piece of business, and one 
 which he would undoubtedly have 
 avoided, had he known how ; for which 
 reason he never forced himself into any 
 situation which was likely to lead to it. 
 For instance, he did not try to shake 
 off the violent nervous complaint he was 
 attacked with, when his regiment was
 
 70 SCHEMING. 
 
 under orders for foreign service, and 
 which prevented his going with it: 
 and he always carefully avoided con- 
 tradicting an Irishman. But although 
 he did not wish to hasten the event, 
 yet, as he knew it must happen at some 
 period, he had accustomed himself to 
 think of it as a disagreeable circum- 
 stance, which must occur, sooner or 
 later — a thing which, as no philosopher, 
 ancient or modern, that he had ever 
 heard of (we don't say read of, as, ex- 
 cept "Hoyle's Games" he had never 
 been accused of opening a book since he 
 left College), had yet found means to 
 escape, he was sure he never should ; 
 therefore he had settled it in his mind, 
 that the less lie thought about it the 
 better. To think deeply, indeed, on any
 
 SCHEMING, 71 
 
 subject was what he was not much in 
 the habit of doing ; thus of what might 
 be his situation after death, he had 
 never thought at alL Dying, to him, 
 was Hke taking a leap in the dark from 
 an unknown height ; it was all chance, 
 after he left his present station, in what 
 kind of country he should find himself ; 
 and it would have been throwing away 
 time, he thought, to provide himself 
 with what might, or might not, be 
 necessary for such an expedition. So 
 he had long since determined not to 
 give himself any trouble respecting 
 what he did not in the least under- 
 stand ; and he hoped, if a general in- 
 spection did take place, (vvhich he 
 neither doubted or believed, not having 
 reflected sufficiently on the subject to
 
 72 SCHEMING. 
 
 do either) he should pass muster as well 
 as most of his acquaintance whom he 
 saw lounge through life in the same 
 careless manner he himself did. And 
 when he composed himself so tranquilly, 
 after having bestowed his noble name 
 on the tailor's daughter, he would have 
 been sorry indeed to have supposed it 
 possible that his eyes should ever again 
 behold that gentle creature. Far prefer- 
 able to him was the idea of taking the 
 above-mentioned leap in the dark, as he 
 had no positive assurance but what that 
 might lead him to some comfortable 
 easy quarters. But should he (to his 
 utter dismay ! ) he restored to this world 
 and — a wife ! he was certain, past 
 all doubt, that comfort would never 
 more fall to his lot. To be cast off by
 
 SCHEMING. 73 
 
 his noble relatives ! To be called son-in- 
 law by a tailor ! Was it in the nature 
 of Alpomp blood to bear such ac- 
 cumulated mortifications ? No ! for- 
 bid it, death, whose approaches he 
 welcomed. 
 
 VOL. I
 
 74 SCHEMING. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 "Have you settled the Colonel?" 
 whispered, in the dark, a voice in Swal- 
 lowall's ear, as he came out of the house. 
 " Yes, poor devil, 'tis all over with him," 
 replied the divine ; " he will suffer for 
 his sins now, I '11 answer for it." " You '11 
 he well rewarded for this joh," said the 
 first speaker, as they walked down the 
 street together, " as there were no hopes 
 of its taking place without your assis- 
 tance." " I don't expect to get much 
 by it," returned Swallowall, "twenty
 
 SCHEMING. 75 
 
 guineas, perhaps, and a pair of white 
 gloves." " You choose white ones then 
 this time ?" asked the other. A carriage 
 driving past at the moment prevented 
 the divine from hearing the question. 
 " I am afraid the resurrection will not 
 take place," remarked Swallowall's com- 
 panion ; " what do you think ?" " Faith 
 I think very little ahout it," returned 
 the Reverend Jeremy Swallowall ; " but 
 
 d it, don't talk of such things, it 
 
 smells so strong of the shop." " True," 
 replied the other ; " but the shop, you 
 
 know, preferred you to " He was 
 
 prevented from finishing what he meant 
 to say, by their being much jostled, and 
 finally separated, by a mob, which had 
 gathered to hear a most edifying dispute 
 between a drunken sailor and his wife. 
 E 2
 
 76 SCHEMING. 
 
 Swallowall, after a good deal of el- 
 bowing, got himself out of the throng ; 
 but as he could not find his companion 
 again, he thought it best to go directly 
 to the tavern, where they had previously 
 agreed to sup together, as he had most 
 probably gone there when they had been 
 separated by the mob ; and on entering 
 the room where they had dined, he 
 found ]Mr. Leechum sitting comfortably 
 smoking a pipe by the fire-side. " You 
 have soon settled yourself," said Swal- 
 lowall ; " how long have you been here ?" 
 " I have been here above an hour," re- 
 plied the other : " I walked up and 
 down before Colonel Brayforth's door, 
 Kke a sentinel, -till I was quite tired of 
 waiting for you ; and then I thought he 
 might be too much exhausted to per-
 
 SCHEMING. 77 
 
 form the part of a bridegroom, and that 
 you would probably be detained there 
 much longer than you expected ; so I 
 returned here." " Then who the devil 
 was it I took for you as I came out of 
 the house ?" asked the divine. " It is im- 
 possible for me to tell," returned Leech- 
 um, who was a young limb of the law. 
 
 Swallowall then related how he had 
 been accosted at Colonel Brayforth's 
 door by a man who, in the dark, he 
 had been certain was Leechum, as he 
 had said he would wait there while 
 he performed the marriage ceremony ; 
 and how this person asked the very 
 questions which he might have expected 
 from any one who knew for w^hat pur- 
 pose he had been sent for in such haste 
 to Colonel Brayforth's. " And as you,"
 
 78 SCHEMING. 
 
 he went on, " are the only person who 
 •vvas acquainted with the nature of my 
 errand, certainly if it was not you, it 
 must have been the head of your fra- 
 ternity, the very devil himself !" They 
 then sat down to play their game of 
 douhle-dumhing and w^onder w^ho this 
 very marvellous man could have been, 
 and wondering we will leave them. 
 
 But as we do not mean to keep oiu* 
 readers also agonizing on the tenter-hooks 
 of curiosity, to them we will endeavour 
 to explain this mystery. But first we 
 must beg to be allowed to congratulate 
 ourselves at having, at length, contrived 
 to slide this delightful word into our 
 book. We have been toiling hard to 
 accomplish it ever since we marched the 
 ~th regiment into D , but all
 
 SCHEMING. 79 
 
 our eSbrts, through six tedious chapters, 
 Iiave hitherto proved in effectual ; and a 
 novel without a mystery, who would 
 read it ? Not young ladies, as mystery 
 is every thing to them ; as every thing 
 to them is mystery : not ladies of a 
 certain age, as all with them, and about 
 them, is mystery, from the becoming 
 rose-coloured taffeta, close-drawn cur- 
 tains to their carriages, to keep out the 
 broad glare of day, and only to let their 
 autumnal charms be seen through the 
 medium of this deini join', to the 
 Tyrean dye, which protracts the gloss 
 on their auburn locks, still luxuriantly 
 displayed in bows and tresses, c'est a 
 dire, a la bougie. Not by old ladies, 
 
 because but we beg pardon ; we 
 
 really were near forgetting that in the
 
 80 SCHEMING. 
 
 nineteenth century (such is the progress 
 of civilization) there is no such thing in 
 existence. 
 
 Now that we have managed to intro- 
 duce this magnetic word, " mystery," we 
 begin to have hopes that we may make 
 some hand of these authentic memoirs, 
 of which we had begun to despair, and 
 were actually thinking of giving up the 
 undertaking. But having so admirably 
 brought about this mysterious rencontre, 
 we see no reason why we should not 
 succeed as well as any of the Anna 
 Carolinas and Sydney JNIarias of novel 
 and mysterious fame ! And, as we 
 believe we have now kept our readers 
 long enough in suspense, we will pro- 
 ceed to the scene of elucidation. 
 
 ** Ar'n't the boys very late to-night,
 
 SCHEMING. 81 
 
 my dear, before they bring the returns 
 of the clay ? I 'm sure the doctors have 
 gone their evening rounds before this 
 time." This was said by Mr. Final to 
 his wife, as they were sitting do^Mi to 
 supper, which merely consisted (it being 
 near the end of December) of a delicate 
 quarter of house-lamb, a fine salad, and 
 a couple of snipes to pick at. 
 
 Now Mr. Final was a most obliging per- 
 sonage, (commonly called an undertaker) 
 who was always ready to take on himself 
 the whole trouble and direction of having 
 the earthly remains of his fellow-creatures 
 deposited six feet under ground, to the 
 great accommodation of their sorrowful 
 relatives, who are always too much dis- 
 tracted ^^ith grief (such is the custom) 
 to be able to attend to any thing except 
 E 5
 
 82 SCHEMING. 
 
 the indulgence of their woe. Before 
 Mrs. Final could reply to her husband, 
 one of the scouts returned. " I have 
 just seen Doctor Curefew," he said, " and 
 a good day's work he has made of it, 
 and a long night's work he has made for 
 us, father ; he has recommended us for 
 the following jobs, so we must about the 
 preparations directly — here's the list." 
 " Do mind what you 're about there, 
 and don't drop the grease on it," cried Mrs. 
 Final to her son, as he carelessly placed 
 his lantern on a table,' at which, half an 
 hour before, his father and mother had 
 been joyously playing at a round game 
 with some of their friends in tlie trade, 
 and over which they had spread a superb 
 new black velvet pall to play on, their 
 card-table not being large enougli for
 
 SCHEMING. b3 
 
 the party. The lad having removed his 
 lantem, to prevent any danger of soiling 
 the rich velvet, which was next day to 
 cover all that remained of a parish over- 
 seer, hegan his list : — " Alderman Cram- 
 craw : he died two hours ago," young 
 Final went on, '' of an indigestion. A 
 brother alderman asked him to dinner 
 yesterday ; and after he had eaten of 
 every luxury in and out of season, and 
 thought dinner was over, he was much 
 surprized to see put on the table a pate 
 defoie gras^ which, they said, had just 
 been received from France. The worthy 
 alderman could not resist the tempta- 
 tion, but fell - to immediately. Ill- 
 natured people say his entertainer plan- 
 ned it on purpose, as he was afraid 
 Cramcraw would have been elected
 
 84 SCHEMING. 
 
 mayor instead of himself." The next 
 the scout read from the list was Miss 
 Giget. " I hear," he said, " she died of 
 a mortification, brought on by dancing 
 violently with Captain O'Brady, in 
 hopes of convincing him she had not an 
 issue in her leg — a secret she was afraid 
 he had learned from a maid she had the 
 imprudence lately to part with, because 
 she had found the Captain loitering 
 with her on the stairs, when he ought 
 to have been springing up them, all im- 
 patience to see her mistress, who he 
 knew was waiting for him in the draw- 
 ing-room. But the best for us," added 
 young Final, " is the rich nabob, Lord 
 Ruperaise, who was found dead in his 
 bed. 'Tis supposed, his servants told 
 me, thsit when taken ill in the night, he
 
 SCHEMING. 85 
 
 had not strength to raise himself from 
 under his plumeaux coverings of swans- 
 down, to ring the bell for assistance; 
 and as none of his family dared to enter 
 his apartment without the usual signal, 
 (it being in that establishment a sin 
 past forgiveness to disturb the slumbers 
 of this bashaw of the East,) he had re- 
 mained eight-and-forty hours, at least, 
 before Lady Ruperaise ventured to 
 send in one of the black pages, who 
 most unwillingly obeyed the order, from 
 the belief they have, that ' when massa 
 was shut up, massa's massa was with 
 him ;' in short, that the devil, to whom 
 he had sold his soul's futurity for his 
 body's present comfort, paid him a visit 
 whenever he could be sure of a tete-a- 
 tete with him." The next on the list
 
 86 SCHEMING. 
 
 was a poet ; a gnawing pain in the 
 stomach had carried him off. 
 
 " W^ell, we '11 hury him, though I 
 suppose we sha'n't make any thing by 
 it, ' said Final ; " however I '11 run the 
 risk, as T Ve a spare shell lying idle, it 
 wouldn't hold together long here, the 
 wood wasn't well seasoned, but I dare 
 say 't will bear him nearly to the church- 
 yard, your poets are seldom very heavy. 
 I did think of it for the overseer, but 
 it won't do, indeed they mostly be fat 
 weighty folk — but what will this here 
 poet measure ?" " x\bout six feet two 
 now, or a little better,"' answered the son. 
 — " Oh, then I shall be able to get him 
 into it tidily enough," returned Final, 
 *" for it 's the shell in which that young
 
 SCHEMING. 87 
 
 man who died of the decline was to be 
 put in, to go in the lead coffin ; his wife 
 had to take him home to Ireland ; he 
 only measured six feet, the shell is quite 
 five feet ten ; but when I took it there, 
 his wife, who never left the corpse, 
 would'nt let me give it a bend no ways 
 to put it in." 
 
 " Ay, I remember how particular 
 she w^as," said the lad, " we had to sit 
 up all night, for her w^him, to have ano- 
 ther made." " Yes," said Final, " when 
 people have friends, or wives, who do 
 stay by the bodies, it does give us a 
 great deal of trouble ; but it so seldom 
 happens we Ve no right to complain." 
 
 Young Final now ended, by saying 
 Mr. Thompson was also dead. " Poor 
 good man !" exclaimed Mrs. Final,
 
 88 SCHEMING. 
 
 " I *m sorry he is gone ; he was the 
 making of iis at our first setting up ; 
 he got us a number of jobs ; four wives 
 we 've buried for liim ; a good friend he 
 has been to us in our business." 
 
 Another of the runners now entered : 
 *•' I waited a long time," he said, " be- 
 fore I saw Doctor Finish ; I thought 
 he'd never come out of Colonel Bray- 
 forth's, but he did at last* I asked him 
 whether he had settled the Colonel, and 
 he told me ' it was all over with him.' "' — 
 " What, he is done for then ?" asked 
 the undertaker ; " I suppose Finish will 
 expect me to come do^vn handsomely.'' 
 
 '' Not at all," replied Sable; " I was 
 surprised at his unusual moderation ; he 
 said he didn't expect more than twenty 
 guineas and a pair of gloves — but what
 
 SCHEMING. 89 
 
 o'clock is it ? the resurrection-men, I 'm 
 afraid, won't come to-night." 
 
 "No," returned Final, " they've 
 struck ; there is quite a mutiny among 
 them ; I 'm afraid I must raise their 
 wages, or I shall never be able to get 
 subjects to amuse my good friends the 
 doctors ; and, you know, in our line al- 
 most all our dependence is on them.'' 
 
 'Tis scarcely necessary to inform our 
 readers, that it was Sable who, in the 
 dark, had mistaken Swallowall for Doc- 
 tor Finish ; and 'tis as needless to tell 
 them that Final dealt both in putting 
 people under ground and raising them 
 again. We will leave him to pursue 
 Ills two- fold employment, as we liave 
 now explained the mystery of the ren- 
 contre between Swallowall and Sable,
 
 00 SCHEMING. 
 
 whom the former had taken for the 
 young attorney with whom he had 
 dined at the tavern, from whence he 
 was so suddenly called to marry Colonel 
 Brayforth, and whom he had left at the 
 door when he entered the house for that 
 purpose.
 
 ^ 
 
 SCHEMING. 91 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 Lord Alpomp and his whole estab- 
 lishment were just going to kneel down 
 to family prayers, as was customary be- 
 fore they retired for the night. The 
 butler had placed the crimson velvet 
 cushion, fringed with gold, before his 
 Lordship. They had all taken their 
 usual places : Tvliss Erayforth was kneel- 
 ing before the organ, that she might be 
 ready to perform the hymn ; her prayer- 
 book, which she had laid on the music- 
 stool before her, had of itself opened at
 
 92 SCHEMING. 
 
 the page of* matrimony,' from the stretch 
 it had been given in that part, like 
 most of those belonging to unmarried 
 ladies. She was just wondering what 
 could have prevented Sir Frederick 
 Flutter s arriving at Alpomp Hall that 
 day. Her brother Edward was next to 
 her, mentally cursing Hoby for not 
 having sent his boots according to pro- 
 mise. The butler was watching jNIrs. 
 Chatfast, my lady's maid, to see what 
 effect the verses he had written in her 
 pocket-bible would have on her when 
 she read them. Chisson, INIr. Edward 
 Brayforths French valet, was moulding 
 a piece of wax between his fingers into 
 the form of a guillotine. The footmen 
 were squinting at the housemaids, the 
 coachman was ogling the cook. In
 
 SCHEMING. 93 
 
 short, they were all settled in due form, 
 and the Chaplain had given his pre- 
 paratory hem ! and was just going to 
 begin, when a violent ringing at the gate 
 stopped his mouth, but opened that of 
 every other person. '* 'Tis Sir Fre- 
 derick Flutter, I 'm sure !" cried Miss 
 Brayforth, " I thought he wouldn't de- 
 ceive me.'' — " D me, the rascal has 
 
 sent my boots at last,'' exclaimed Ed- 
 ward Brayforth. " According to the 
 most probable conjecture I can form, 
 this is an express from the metropolis, 
 sent by their most gracious INIajesties 
 to desire my presence in London." These 
 were the words the Viscount slowly pro- 
 nounced, as he rose with dignity, and 
 prepared to receive the expected sum- 
 mons from royalty.
 
 94 SCHEMING. 
 
 After five minutes of anxious uncer- 
 tainty, a servant announced the arrival 
 of a gentleman, who begged leave to 
 haye the honor of speaking to his Lord- 
 ship immediately, on business of impor- 
 tance. " I thought so," said the Vis- 
 count ; " I am about to be sent on some 
 embassy of the greatest trust and honor — 
 shev^r the gentleman in." And, booing, 
 appeared the very identical IM'Setill, 
 whom we imagined, as we suppose our 
 readers did, was on his road to his dying 
 Uncle. The Scot booed to his Lord- 
 ship ; the Scot booed to the right ; the 
 Scot booed to the left; and once more 
 booing to his Lordship, he began : " I 'ra 
 come, my Lord, on bee^iuess of the 
 vara greetest consequence to your noble 
 family." " So I conjectured," returned
 
 SCHEMING. 95 
 
 the Nobleman. " I must request the 
 honor of speaking to your Lordship in 
 preevate," added the North Briton. 
 " Some embassy of the utmost import- 
 ance/' thought the Peer, " in which 
 such secrecy is required; perhaps I'm 
 going to be intrusted with a paper hand- 
 screen, to take as a present, from our 
 most generous Sovereign to his Catholic 
 Majesty, to keep the glare of the auto 
 da fe fires from weakening his royal 
 eyes." He felt his consequence increase 
 at the idea. " You have all my per- 
 mission to retire," he said : and when 
 every person, except jSI^Setill, had left 
 the room, **' Now%" added his Lordship, 
 " I am ready to hear the proposals." 
 
 " I am vara sorry, vara sorry indeed," 
 ftaid the Caledonian, " to be the bearer
 
 96 SCHEMING. 
 
 of news which must disturb the comfort 
 of your noble Lordship's noble mind ; 
 feevety miles have I rode post, in feeve 
 hours, to endeevor to preseerve the noble 
 honor of your honorable house, for there 's 
 na teeme to lose ; at the hazard of being 
 depreeved of all, on which I depeend, I 
 came to leet your Lordship know the 
 danger your most honorable name is in 
 of being disgraced. If the gude Colonel, 
 your honorable son, ever knows that I 
 gave your Lordship this inteelligence, 
 1 'm a ruined man, I 'm — " 
 
 " Blood and furies!" (for when pro- 
 voked, his Lordship could swear as well 
 as any private gentleman who went to 
 bed without family prayers,) cried the 
 Viscount in a voice of thunder, which 
 nearly annihilated the Scot, " you tell
 
 SCHEMING. 97 
 
 me there's no time to lose, that my 
 name is going to be disgraced, and then, 
 instead of letting me know in what 
 manner I may prevent it, you begin 
 talking of your own pitiful ruin, and of 
 your paltry dependence, as if that was 
 any thing to me." 
 
 " Weel, weel, I humbly beg your 
 noble Lordship's pardon ;" said the sur- 
 geon, gulping do\^^l the Caledonian 
 ^M'ath, and quieting the blood of the 
 iNI'Setills, which had risen in a fer- 
 ment at the Peer's speech, and which 
 would speedily have overflown in words 
 not of the most respectful kind had this 
 speech proceeded from the mouth of a 
 person, by whom he never expected to 
 get any thing ; but, as the case was other- 
 
 VOL. I. F 
 
 m
 
 98 SCHEMING. 
 
 wise, he still continued the same boo- 
 ing Scot. 
 
 *' Speak then quickly," cried Lord 
 Alpomp, " and tell me what is going to 
 happen in my family?" "Ah! weel, 
 weel, isn't it that I'm come aboot?" 
 returned JM'Setill': " your Lordship's 
 eldest son, then, my gude freend Colonel 
 Brayforth, to whose reegiment I 've the 
 pleesure of being surgeon is vara eel, 
 vara eel indeed, leeke to dee." 
 
 " How is my name to be disgraced by 
 such an event?" asked the Peer, his 
 countenance recovering its wonted se- 
 renity ; " and I have," he added, " ano- 
 ther son to transmit my name and ho- 
 nors to posterity." 
 
 " Vara true, my Lord, vara true, if 
 that vds all ; but the honorable Colonel 
 
 AV
 
 SCHEMING. 99 
 
 has deteermined now he finds his ind 
 approaching, to marry the lassie who 
 has so lang leeved with him, and feeve 
 hours ago, he sent for the meenister to 
 uneete them." 
 
 " Blood and furies !" cried the Vis- 
 count, starting up, and relapsing into his 
 former rage, ** if he was married ^Ye 
 hours ago what use is there in your 
 coming to tell me what I can't pre- 
 vent?" 
 
 " Nay, my Lord, I thought — " 
 " He shall never enter my doors again," 
 vociferated the Peer, not heeding what 
 the Scot was about to say ; " to marry a 
 low beggarly camp trull, instead of ally- 
 ing himself with some family of distinc- 
 tion!" 
 
 " True, my Lord, 'tis vara hard," re- 
 F 2
 
 100 SCHEMING. 
 
 turned ]M*Setill, trying to slide in a 
 word, " if the lassie wis a person of gude 
 family like the Craigalpins. — " 
 
 " D tlie Craigalpins, and all poor 
 
 Scotch nohility ! " cried the exasperated 
 Viscount. This certainly was a bitter 
 pill for the Scot to swallow ; but, reward 
 still in view, he did swallow it. 
 
 The Peer having at length exhausted 
 himself in invectives, the Caledonian 
 contrived to make him acquainted, as far 
 as suited his own purpose, with the state 
 in which he had left affairs at the Co- 
 lonel's ; and, that there was still a pos- 
 sibility of his being in time to prevent 
 the degrading connection. Accordingly 
 the travelling carriage with four horses 
 was ordered to be got ready instantly, 
 iind M*Setill, after having received a
 
 SCHEMING. 101 
 
 promise from the Viscount, that he 
 would ever be his friend, and ready to 
 serve him, saw his Lordship set off in 
 the hope of being in time to prevent 
 the completion of his son's disgrace ; 
 which hope the North Briton was well 
 aware w^ould prove fruitless, as he was 
 certain the marriage had taken place 
 as soon as he had quitted Colonel Bray- 
 forth's room. When Lord Alpomp 
 had despised the idea of a connection 
 with the Craigalpins, as " poor Scotch 
 nobility," an affront never to be forgot- 
 ten, though it was not convenient to 
 shew his resentment, he felt great com- 
 fort on thinking he was amply revenged 
 on the haughty Peer, whose pride would 
 be mortally wounded in a few hours, by 
 finding himself father-in-law to the " beg-
 
 102 SCHEMING. 
 
 garly camp trull," as he had, in his rage, 
 called the now Honorable INIrs. Bray- 
 forth ! 
 
 The Laird of Craigalpin's illness, we 
 must inform onr readers, was fictitious, 
 and planned entirely by the wily Scot, 
 as an excuse for quitting the house as 
 ►soon as he had pronounced the Colonel's 
 danger to be immediate. This imagi- 
 nary illness of his uncle's was to answer 
 many purposes ; in the first place it en- 
 hanced the obligation JNIiss Jenkins was 
 under to him, as he told her he would 
 not go till he had kept his promise to 
 her, though every moment's delay was of 
 the utmost consequence to him : in the 
 next, it gave him an opportunity, with- 
 out having the cause of his absence sus- 
 pected, of going to Lord Alpomp, whose
 
 SCHEMING. 103 
 
 patronage he was very anxious to obtain, 
 as he clearly foresaw Colonel Brayforth's 
 would very shortly be of no use; for 
 when once cast off by his family, he would 
 become a person of very small conse- 
 quence ; and not likely to procure him 
 any little snug sinecure at a fiiture pe- 
 riod. 
 
 When Lord Alpomp got into his 
 carriage to hasten to his son, he most 
 condescendingly told the Caledonian he 
 might take a seat in it. But that he re- 
 fused, and making his uncle's illness do 
 its last service, he informed the Viscount 
 he was going express to the Laird of 
 Craigalpin, and that " naithing but the 
 greet respeect he had for his noble fa- 
 mily could have made him turn out of 
 his way, or delay an hour." This in-
 
 104 SCHEMING. 
 
 creased the gratitude which the Peer 
 professed for the service he had received 
 from the surgeon, and procured for him 
 fresh promises of future benefits : and 
 another assurance, that Colonel Bray- 
 forth should never know from whom he 
 had heard an account of his proceedings. 
 The Scot now thinking he had acted in 
 the most politic manner towards all par- 
 ties on this occasion, betook himself to 
 an ale-house, a few miles off the road, 
 there to remain until sufficient time 
 should have elapsed to allow of his hav- 
 ing been to his sick uncle in the High- 
 lands.
 
 SCHEMING. 105 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 Early on the morning which fol- 
 lowed the celebration of his nuptials, the 
 Colonel, who had slept soundly all night, 
 was roused from his peaceful slumbers, 
 which partook more of laudanum than 
 death, by the noise of oaths and screams. 
 His companions in the world he had got 
 into, he thought, from the expressions 
 which caught his ear, were certainly ra- 
 ther quarrelsome and riotous : when half 
 opening his heavy eyes he beheld before 
 F 5
 
 106 SCHEMING. 
 
 him, his face distorted and pale with 
 rage, and his head bound up in a night- 
 cap, which he had put on to keep out 
 
 the cold air on the journey, his 
 
 father! 
 
 " Good God, Sir ! you here, this I 
 did not expect !" cried the astonished 
 Colonel Brayforth. " No ! I suppose not, 
 infamous wretch ! " roared the Viscount, 
 " a pretty end you've made of yourself!" 
 
 '* I made no end of myself*," rejoined 
 his son, " I had the best advice; it could 
 not be avoided." '' The best advice in- 
 deed ! and pray whose advice did you 
 take? fool that you are!" cried Lord 
 Alpomp. 
 
 " First, I took JNI'Setill's, my own 
 surgeon," said Colonel Brayforth. " It's 
 a lie, an infamous lie ! " vociferated the
 
 SCHEMING. 107 
 
 Peer ; " he did all he could to prevent 
 it." 
 
 " I know he did," returned the Co- 
 lonel, " but it was to no effect : but how 
 am I to account for seeing you here, 
 Sir ? " " By your own ill conduct, yes ! 
 place it to that account, 'twas that 
 brought me here," said the Viscount. 
 
 " Heaven forbid!" ejaculated his son. 
 For he was as fully persuaded his father 
 was dead as that he was so himself: and 
 certainly his cadaverous appearance well 
 warranted the illusion. " Yes, you, you 
 whom I once called my son, have occa- 
 sioned my being so suddenly here, wretch 
 that you are! when I heard you were 
 about to disgrace my name I could not 
 bear suspense, but came, unsent for, and 
 find you lost for ever !" cried the Peer.
 
 108 SCHEMING. 
 
 " Came unsent for ! and I the occa- 
 sion of the rash act ; then, indeed, am I 
 for ever lost ! " exclaimed his son, who 
 groaned with agony at the idea. " Yes, 
 the rash act has lost you for ever ; for 
 never will I, and I take heaven to wit- 
 ness what I say, pardon this degrading 
 step. No ! may perdition seize me if I 
 do !" And his Lordship struck with vio- 
 lence as he spoke a table close by the bed. 
 
 The loud and sudden noise made Co- 
 lonel Brayforth start from his pillow, 
 and, now being completely awake, and 
 the fumes of the opium nearly evapo- 
 rated, he was surprised at finding him- 
 self in 'the same bed in which he had 
 fallen into a sleep, which he had be- 
 lieved was to be eternal. Instantane- 
 ously a vague apprehension came across
 
 SCHEMING. 109 
 
 him, that he was still an inhabitant of 
 this globe. He rubbed his eyes, " am 
 I alive? or am I dead? and have I 
 caused my father to end his life by his 
 own hands ? " he cried. 
 
 "Have you made me put an end to 
 my life ? " bawled Lord Alpomp, more 
 enraged than ever ; " infamous villain 1 
 that then was what you wanted to drive 
 me to by your marriage : blood and 
 furies ! end my life by my own hands ! 
 No, I '11 live to curse you ! " The word 
 ' marriage,' perfectly recalled his son's 
 wandering senses ; and being now fully 
 aware that he was in the presence of his 
 living and exasperated father, he covered 
 his head with the bed-clothes to avoid 
 seeing him, or hearing the screams of 
 his wife, Who, in the next room, was still
 
 110 SCHEMING. 
 
 iu strong hysterics, into which she had 
 fallen at sight of Lord Viscount Al- 
 pomp; for it was the oaths which had 
 escaped from his noble lips, on finding 
 on his arrival the deed was done, and 
 the cries which his gentle daughter-in- 
 law had sent forth, in the fits into which 
 his abuse had thrown her, that had 
 broken the repose which the Colonel was 
 enjoying. 
 
 The scene that ensued it is unneces- 
 sary to describe. It was soon put an 
 end to by Lord Alpomp's leaving the 
 house, after telling his son he should 
 never see him more ; and that he would 
 take every step in his power to prevent 
 his rising in the army, or having the 
 means wherewith to support the woman 
 he had married, and the bastards he
 
 SCHEMING. Ill 
 
 chose to father ; and every one of whom 
 he hoped would prove a curse to him. 
 After this affectionate and paternal 
 speech, which was the finale to many of 
 the same sort, the Viscount stepped in- 
 to his carriage, and retm-ned to Alpomp 
 Hall; there to try to forget the disgrace 
 his name had sustained, to expect being 
 appointed to some important embassy, 
 and to kneel every night on crimson 
 velvet with ostentatious piety, to slum- 
 ber over the half hour dedicated to fa- 
 mily prayers. 
 
 From that time to the day on which 
 
 the — th regiment marched into D , 
 
 sixteen years had elapsed ; but, during 
 that period Colonel Brayforth had never 
 seen any of his oflPended family. The 
 first month or two after his marriage he
 
 112! SCHEMING. 
 
 had written several times to his father 
 and brother ; but his letters had been re- 
 turned unopened, and he had at length 
 given up all idea of a reconciliation as 
 hopeless. INIrs. Brayforth continued to 
 save, and the Colonel to read the news- 
 papers ; and thus year after year rolled on 
 until the time at which these memoirs 
 commenced.
 
 SCHEMING. 113 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Having thus informed om- readers 
 who Mrs. Bravforth was, we shall next 
 describe her two grown-up daughters. 
 From having no education herself, and 
 frequently feeling the inconvenience 
 arising firom the want of it, their mother 
 had resolved they should be sent " to 
 hoarding-school," where, she concluded, 
 they must get a good one ; — her frequent 
 remark to the Colonel being, " For 
 what is the whole world ^vithout iddi- 
 cation?" little aware how well her
 
 114 SCHEMING. 
 
 words proved their o\vn truth. The 
 IMiss Brayforths were, therefore, sent to 
 a London boarding-school, where they 
 were to learn every thing, whether they 
 had genius or not. ISIusic, from the 
 rides of composition and thorough-bass, 
 down to the rules for beating the tam- 
 bourine ; dancing, from the 3Ienuet cle 
 la Coin\ and Vestris's gavotte, to the 
 jumping with grace over a skipping- 
 rope ; all the different languages of all 
 the different nations under the canopy 
 of Heaven, and all the et-ceteras 
 enumerated on a card of boarding-school 
 acquirements, were they to learn ! The 
 consequence was, that when they were 
 sent home as " finished," they had been 
 taught every thing, and knew nothing. 
 JMiss Brayforth not being a beauty,
 
 SCHEMING. ' 115 
 
 had a gout for affecting superior talents, 
 and her scheme was, to get talked of, 
 and admired as a young lady of strong 
 understanding. She had studied mathe- 
 matics a little, botany a little, mineralogy 
 a little, chemistry a little, algebra a 
 little, and various other things, quite as 
 appropriate, and all of which she under- 
 stood equally well; and was now, under 
 a tall, athletic, young Irish assistant- 
 surgeon's instructions, studying anatomy. 
 She could descant on " the loves of the 
 plants," and detect a crim. con. be- 
 tween a narcissus and a moss-rose. She 
 sported her opinion of men and things ; 
 dipped into a review and then gave her 
 decision for or against books she had 
 never read; talked of the balance of 
 Europe, as she halanceed to her part-
 
 116 SCHEMING. 
 
 ner, and of the ices of the poles, as she 
 helped to a plat d'oeiifs a la neige. She 
 had drilled herself to perform great feats 
 of courage, and was able to challenge the 
 field at a fox-chase, and be in at the 
 death, to shew what proof of bottom her 
 horse possessed. She had written an in- 
 vocation to the heavenly bodies, in Byron 
 metre, while ascending in an air-balloon 
 with an aspiring swain ; and sung " deeper 
 and deeper still," to the same youth 
 (whom she had accompanied in a diving- 
 bell,) while he was exploring the secrets 
 of nature. 
 
 Her sister Selina, had a very pretty, 
 very unmeaning face, and was one of the 
 "Oh! good gracious!" Misses, who are 
 every day, and every where to be met 
 with, always ready with an exclamation.
 
 SCHEMING. 117 
 
 and a wonder, at what she saw and heard ; 
 and, in her own mind, wondering more 
 at one thing than all the rest, which was, 
 that she had been six months from school, 
 and was not yet married: although the 
 fortune-teller in ordinary to the young 
 ladies at that learned seminary for polite 
 education, who had looked at her hand, 
 as she had stretched it through the briars 
 and brambles of the garden-hedge for her 
 examination, had promised her " she 
 should bury two husbands, and be a 
 great lady, before her sister had had 
 one." 
 
 Such were the daughters ! Their bro- 
 ther was handsome, insolent where he had 
 power, mean where he had not ; fair, vain, 
 foolish, and, as long as he could be so, 
 extravagant. He had been a short time
 
 118 SCHEMING. 
 
 in the Foot Guards, where he was de- 
 spised for his insolence, got into deht, was 
 obliged to exchange, and glad to join his 
 father's regiment, (in which, after ha\ing 
 been three years Captain and Adjutant, 
 he had been lately promoted to the 
 Majority) though he in his turn despised 
 it, and every thing else that was not in 
 London, or the Guards; to both which 
 he hoped to return, as soon as his scheme 
 of picking up a fortune, should have suc- 
 ceeded. To promote it, he neither spared 
 his little wits, nor large whiskers ; the 
 former always being on the qui vive, and 
 the latter ever brought forward en evi- 
 dence, when there appeared to him any 
 chance of his getting promotion through 
 fair means. 
 
 Having so far described the family to
 
 SCHEMING. 119 
 
 which, in the second chapter of these 
 memoirs. Miss INIarsden was presented 
 by her guardian, we shall now inform 
 our readers that Maria Marsden was her- 
 self sufficiently lovely to make all the 
 female part of it take a dislike to her, 
 and sufficiently rich to make * Hilly' (as 
 his sisters called IMajor Brayforth) deter- 
 mine her" fortune should be his. Her 
 figure was tall and elegant; her face per- 
 fectly Grecian ; and the mildness of her 
 dark blue eyes bespoke the genuine feel- 
 ings of her soul. Dejmved by death, in 
 her early youth, of a father's and 
 mother's fostering care, and left with her 
 large fortune, to that of her maternal 
 uncle, (who with Colonel Brayforth was 
 her guardian,) she had learned from the 
 principles he had instilled into her, to
 
 120 SCHEMING. 
 
 submit, without a murmur, to the loss of 
 those blessings which an all-wise Provi- 
 dence had thought proper to withdraw 
 from her, and to be most thankful for 
 those which she had been allowed to 
 retain. Her uncle, a clergyman of the 
 Church of England, was himself an 
 honour to his sacred profession; charitable 
 in every sense of the word, he pitied in 
 others, those failings which made no 
 part of his own character. Of small for- 
 tune, not ambitious, and having lost a 
 beloved wife in the prime of life, he had 
 ever since declined church preferment ; — 
 choosing to devote the remainder of his 
 days to the parishioners of a small living 
 in Devonshire, where he had resided 
 from the time he quitted college. After 
 tlie death of Mrs. Stanley, his chief hap-
 
 SCHEMING. 121 
 
 piiicss was the care and education of Ins 
 niece; which education did not consist 
 in having her taught to throw herself 
 with grace into the arms of every gen- 
 tleman who should ask her to vahe, or 
 to exhibit in any wonderful way. Her 
 acquirements were such as to he of use to 
 her througliout life; not merely such as 
 can be shewn off from fifteen to five and 
 twenty. She knew of music and other 
 accomplishments sufficient to please, 
 though not to astonish* And when her 
 uncle found his presence would be neces- 
 sary in Jamaica for some months, for the 
 arrangement of the affairs of a nephew of 
 JMrs. Stanley, to whom he was also 
 guardian, he felt proud that Maria, on 
 going during his absence to reside at 
 Colonel Brayforth's, was sure to inspire 
 
 TOE. I. ' G
 
 1^2 SCHEMING. 
 
 regard, as much by her feminine acquire- 
 ments, as by her beauty and fortune. Of 
 what is called " the world," he knew as 
 little as " the world " generally knows of 
 such a person as him, and was little 
 aware of the schemes which were likely 
 to be laid in it to get possession of his 
 card's fortune.
 
 SCHEMING. 12J5 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 Yv^E must now beg our readers will look 
 back to the end of the second chapter, 
 where we left iMaria with ^Irs. Brayforth 
 and her daughters; the eldest of whom, 
 having accompanied her to her apart- 
 ment, was soon interrupted in the leading 
 questions she was putting to her, by her 
 sister, who came to tell her. Captain 
 Humphreys w^as below. He had brought 
 his instrument, (the violoncello) and was 
 waiting to practise and finger with her 
 the concerto, she was to be persuaded to 
 G 2
 
 124 SCHEMING. 
 
 try at sight in the evening ; finger- 
 ing with JMiss Bray forth two or three 
 hours in the morning, being the only 
 passport Captain Humphreys had to 
 ^secure an invitation to her father's 
 dinner-table. 
 
 As soon as her sister was gone, 
 Selina asked JMiss IMarsden whether 
 she had travelled much, and been in 
 France. On her answering, that she 
 had never been out of England, she ex- 
 claimed, " Oh ! good gracious ! what 
 a pity ! — but I have travelled," call- 
 ing up a look of as m.uch superio- 
 rity on tiie strength of it, as could be 
 thrown into her unmeaning, silly face, 
 " and seen France, — I was at Paris 
 for a whole week, with some friends 
 of Pa's."
 
 SCHEMING. 125 
 
 " It was unfortunate your stay was 
 so short in that interestmg capital," 
 said INIiss Marsden, "as you could not 
 see much of it in that time ; did you 
 see the few good pictures that still 
 remain in the Lou\Te?" "Dear me, 
 yes, I saw every thing worth seeing, 
 — the pictures in the Louvre, and 
 then, on the Boulevards, the picture 
 of Saint Antoine surrounded hy all 
 his little devils, so pretty! — it's over 
 a shop door, the very shop, where I 
 bought my trimming, which Lord 
 Montrevor's delightful poodle tore last 
 night. — But you never saw my trim- 
 ming before it was torn, what a pity ! 
 — Well ! — I saw all the great sights 
 in Paris, — and I do so admire the 
 white mice, and the working flea.
 
 126 SCHEMING. 
 
 you don't know ! — And then we came 
 back by Brussels, because Pa's friends 
 thought it would be so diverting, 
 to see the field of battle, where so 
 many men had been killed, and horses 
 too, you know: — and as we stopped to 
 breakfast at Enghien I was so struck" — 
 " Oh no doul)t," said Miss Marsden, 
 while Selina, who had fairly talked 
 herself out of breath in giving her ac- 
 count of her travels, was recovering 
 from a sudden fit of cougliing occa- 
 sioned by the dryness of her throat, 
 " you must have been, by the recol- 
 lection of the noble youth, wlio took 
 his title from that place, and whose 
 blood was shed in such a cowardly 
 manner by the Usurper." " Dear me ! 
 no, *' replied Selina, returning with
 
 SCHEMING. 127 
 
 fresh breath and information to the 
 charge ; " I wasn't struck by any 
 noble youth there, we didn't see any 
 nobleman there, — only peasants, and 
 postillions, and women with wooden 
 shoes ; it was the bells struck me, as 
 so pretty, good gracious ! do you 
 know they are always ringing there, 
 every quarter of an hour ! only think ! 
 how delightful! Bonaparte did not de- 
 stroy them. — Oh no ! if he had, it 
 would have been such a pity ! and I 
 should have so hated him." 
 
 She was then prevented from going 
 on by a servant, who came to tell 
 lier, " the black drummer had not 
 been able to procure her any white 
 mice, as she had desired him, but, 
 that he had got some, which, he
 
 128 SCHEMING. 
 
 thought, might do as well, as they 
 were spotted, brown and white.'' " Oh 
 good gracious !" cried Selina, " piebald 
 mice, only think! how charming! Do 
 excuse me, my dear Miss ^larsden, I 
 must go down to the dear little pie- 
 bald mice and drummer: — piebald ! on- 
 ly think! how interesting!" And 
 away tripped Miss Selina, leaving ]Ma- 
 ria alone; she therefore rang for her 
 maid, and desired her to begin un- 
 packing her clothes immediately. 
 
 " Laws Miss, " Jenny began, "I'm sure 
 I wishes we were back again at par- 
 sonage, and poor dear JNIr. Stanley come 
 home again ; 1 never seed such a place 
 as this is in all my life ; why, JNIiss, 
 there is not frre enough in the kitchen- 
 grate, to put in a warming pan ; and
 
 SCHEMING. 129 
 
 tlie servants say, as how jNIrs. Bray- 
 forth says, there never need be none 
 after breakfast 'till dinner's dressing, 
 as working will keep 'em vrarm ; and 
 wlien 1 asked to be shewed to the 
 housekeeper's room, the footman, — he 
 is a funny man, JNIiss, — began to laugh 
 and joke like, and asked mc, if he 
 should shew me to his mistress's room, 
 for she's our housekeeper with a ven- 
 geance, says he, so the drawing room 
 is the only housekeeper's room we 
 know of, says he." ]Miss jMarsden 
 told Jenny, as there was no apart- 
 ment allotted to the upper servants, 
 she must only be content to work in 
 her bed-room, and concluded by tell- 
 ing her, " she must seldom expect 
 to 4^d as much comfort in any fa- 
 G 5
 
 ISO SCHEMING. 
 
 mily, as they had been accustomed 
 to in JNIr. Stanley's." 
 
 At six o'clock, when Maria de- 
 scended, she found the whole dinner- 
 party, except Lord Jlontrevor, assem- 
 bled in the drawing room. The gen- 
 tlemen, according to the usual polite 
 English custom, w^re grouped round 
 the fire, of which they had taken ex- 
 clusive possession. The conversation 
 was as animated as it generally is the 
 five or ten minutes people arc to- 
 gether before dinner, who h.ave met 
 for the purpose of enjoying the plea- 
 sure of each other's company. Miss 
 ^lajsden was presented to Lady Eli- 
 zabeth Palmer, to whom Mrs. Bray- 
 forth had just addressed a wonder, 
 " what could make Lord Montrevor
 
 SCHEMING. ISl 
 
 SO latel" adding, " I gave his Lord- 
 ship an invite to meet your Lady- 
 ship, as I knew you must be ac- 
 quainted." For jNIrs. Brayforth, from 
 knowing veiy few Lords and Ladies 
 herself, conduded, that if they went 
 so little among other people, they 
 must, at least, all know each other. 
 
 Lady Elizabeth Pahuer, only child of 
 the late Earl Palmer, certainly was ac- 
 quainted with Lord Montrevor, but very 
 slightly ; for although their large estates 
 joined, they were little known to each 
 other. Their tastes did not assimilate, 
 any more than their manners ; hers de- 
 noted sense of the strongest kind. Her 
 face and person were remarkably plain, 
 almost disgustingly so ; but she had a 
 mind to counterpoise those disadvantages,
 
 132 SCHEMING. 
 
 and she bad spared no study or pains to 
 improve that mind in the highest de- 
 gree : for, as she felt conscious there was 
 nothing in her appearance to please, she 
 tried to compensate for that deficiency 
 by her talents and agreeable conversa- 
 tion. To all those to whom she was in- 
 timately known, those qualifications did 
 make up for what nature had failed to 
 bestow: — as to know^ her well, and not 
 to love her, was almost impossible. In 
 mixed company she did not shine, or try 
 to obtrude her remarks, let them be ever 
 so just. She wished to please only the 
 few who as she hoped w^re her friends : 
 she knew she was not formed to dazzle, 
 and left it to those who were. To 
 Mrs. Brayforth's remark having politely
 
 SCHEMING. 133 
 
 bovyed, she turned to ^Miss ^larsden, 
 with whom she began conversing. Miss 
 Brayforth was conning over scientific 
 speeches to attract the attention of the 
 expected Earl. Selina was diverting her- 
 self with a kaleidoscope, she had brought 
 from Paris, and which had scarcely been 
 out of her hand since. Colonel Bray- 
 forth's watch had been out several times. 
 jVIrs. Brayforth was in an agony for the 
 fate of the turbot. At length seven 
 o'clock came, but no LordJNIontrevor ! and 
 it being then concluded, that something 
 had occurred to prevent his Lordship's 
 keeping his engagement, the party was 
 ushered into the eating-room ; but not 
 'till Mrs. Brayforth had previously taken 
 care to see Cape wine substituted for
 
 134 SCHEMING. 
 
 the Madeira which was to have regaled 
 the Peer. 
 
 The dinner had passed off, pretty 
 much as most dinners do, when, as the 
 cloth was just going to be removed, in 
 walked Lord Montrevor's poodle, who 
 was followed by his master ! " Quite 
 ashamed — really shocked my Lord — 
 but we had given up all hopes of your 
 Lordship's company — I assure you, we 
 waited 'till seven o'clock, and then I told 
 Lady Elizabeth it vvas unreasonable of us 
 to expect you to take part of our humble 
 fare : your Lordship, v^ho, no doubt is 
 at some more 2J?rs7imptii0U6' dinner every 
 day— but here, Flint! Steel! Fire- 
 brass!" (for in addition to the servant 
 who usually attended, three of the gre-
 
 SCHEMING. 135 
 
 nadier company had been decorated for 
 the day with the Alpomp livery, to add 
 to the splendor of the entertainment,) 
 *' here, make haste, and bring up di- 
 rectly the best you can get — I hope 
 your Lordship will excuse — " 
 
 " Oh," said the Peer calmly, inter- 
 rupting ]Mrs. Brayforth's apologies, 
 " pray don't make any apologies ; I 
 really don't wish for dinner this half 
 hour, so there need be no hurry for me." 
 
 After a whisper between Mrs. and 
 ^Miss Brayforth, the latter left the room, 
 and, in consequence of the directions 
 which she gave, in little more than the 
 time Lord IMontrevor had mentioned, a 
 very excellent dinner was served, which 
 had been procured from a neighbouring 
 tavern ; and which his Lordship began
 
 136 SCHEMING. 
 
 eating, ^vitllout paying the least atten- 
 tion to any one in company, himself 
 and his dog excepted, to whom he gave 
 the best bits he could select from every 
 dish on the table. He was, however, at 
 leligth interrupted by JMiss Erayforth, 
 who, quite out of patience at his appear- 
 ing to be wholly engrossed by vermi- 
 celli soup, hashed calves' head, and 
 green goose, when she was present, sent 
 a plate to him, and speaking across the 
 table, begged, as his Lordship was going 
 to dissect one of the animals which had 
 saved the Roman capitol, he would give 
 her the os coccygis. Lord JMontrevor at 
 the moment, had one of ]Mrs. Bray- 
 forth's very best cut decanters in his 
 hand, when, looking suddenly round to 
 the fair savante, unfortunately it came
 
 SCHEMING. 137 
 
 ill contact with a dish a servant was re- 
 moving ; the decanter was broken, and 
 part of its contents and the shattered 
 pieces fell into the dish of calves' head, 
 the rest on the carpet. 
 
 Colonel Brayforth trembled, for well he 
 knew the effect such accidents, from ple- 
 beian hands had on his gentle spouse : but 
 mark the difference ! she kindly assured 
 his Lordship (who seemed, however, un- 
 conscious of what had happened,) " it 
 was of no consequence ; it would easily 
 be mopped up." Captain Humphreys, 
 when he saw the temper of the Lady of 
 the mansion was not ruffled by the dis- 
 aster, could not forbear making himself 
 facetious, by saying ^^ith a grin, " well, 
 we must allow, your Lordship has set- 
 tled the hash, he ! he I he ! you'll ex-
 
 1S8 SCHEMING. 
 
 ciise the joke, for the sake of the pim :" 
 and Selina, tittering, fiew to the spot, 
 to gather up some of the bits of glass, 
 crying, " oh, good gracious ! how pret- 
 ty ! they will do for my kaleidoscope so 
 delightfidly!" 
 
 The Earl then sent all the servants on 
 different errands : one went with a devil 
 to be broiled, another for soda-water, 
 which, he said, was what he always 
 drank, though when it came he did not 
 touch it. He found fault with every 
 thing, yet he ate immoderately; at 
 length, when he had nearly finished, 
 the servants, w-hom he had contrived to 
 throw into complete confusion, did not 
 immediately perceive that he w^anted his 
 plate changed ; ]Major Brayforth, how- 
 ever, w^ho did nothing but try to anti-
 
 SCHEMING. 139 
 
 cipate the desires of his nohle guest, 
 called out, " Don't you see Lord ]Mon- 
 trevor wants a plate ? I wish you would 
 pay a little more attention /" But this 
 wish had a very different effect on the 
 confused grenadier attendants to what 
 the Major meant it should, for, amidst 
 the hustle which hewildered all their 
 senses, they only caught the word " atten- 
 tion :" it acted on them as a wire does on 
 a set of puppets, for they each invo- 
 luntarily drew up in line, and waited in 
 the customary order for the " shoulder 
 arms," which they expected would fol- 
 low ; nor did one of them move, until 
 Colonel Bray forth roused them by ask- 
 ing them what they were thinking of, 
 and mildly bid them mind v;hat they 
 were about. This recalled them from
 
 140 SCHEMING. 
 
 their waking dream, and they "■ vv ent 
 tln-ough tlie rest of the required attend- 
 ance Vvith great propriety. 
 
 Lord Montrevor having asked for 
 every thing which he thought not likely 
 to be had — jNIrs. Brayforth having made 
 every necessary and unnecessary apo- 
 logy — "Hilly" having determined to 
 act a similar part at the first country 
 Esquire's house where he dined — Miss 
 Brayforth having sent forth three or 
 four anatomical phrases in search of 
 admiration — Selina having turned her 
 kaleidoscope — and Miss JVIarsden hav- 
 ing been much struck with the sense 
 she thought she discerned in the Earl's 
 dark eye, and to which his manners 
 were so much in contradiction, — the 
 females of the party retired to the
 
 SCHEMING. 141 
 
 drawing-room, there to sit and ya^\Ti by 
 fire-light (the ringing for candles, parti- 
 cularly wax ones, being always delayed 
 to the last moment by Mrs. Brayforth) 
 until the gentlemen should think proper 
 to leave devilled biscuits, port, and ma- 
 deira, for the company of the ladies, and 
 the concert which was to conclude the 
 
 evening.
 
 142 SCHEMING. 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 After the lapse of a month Maria had 
 become quite one of the family; Mrs. 
 Bray forth made no scruple of scolding 
 the servants before her ; or making the 
 old petticoat of Miss Brayforth's green 
 riding habit into a cloth for a card- table; 
 nor did she any longer retire to her own 
 room, to rip the gold lace off her hus- 
 band's and son's old uniforms, when they 
 were going to be given to the regimental 
 tailor, who was to return them in the 
 shape of new jackets for the postillions.
 
 SCHEMING. 143 
 
 Though not so happy as when living 
 with her beloved and respected uncle, 
 JMiss Marsden would have nevertheless 
 passed her time with comfort, if she 
 had not been continually annoyed by 
 the tender attentions of INIajor Bray- 
 forth, who never let an opportunity 
 escape of shewing her the most marked 
 preference to every other female in com- 
 pany ; and for this simple reason, that 
 he knew her fortune was considerably 
 larger than that of most of the ladies 
 he was in the habit of seeing ; and he 
 hoped, by his public demonstrations of 
 regard, to make the idea prevalent, that 
 Miss Marsden was engaged to him, and 
 by that means to keep off other appli- 
 cants ; if he could effect that, he trusted 
 to his own irresistible person and the
 
 
 14-1 SCHEMING. 
 
 honour which, he supposed, the daughter 
 of a merchant would think it, to attract 
 the notice of the grandson of Lord Vis- 
 count Alpomp, for the completion of 
 his wishes, w^hich were only to procure 
 the uncontrouled possession of JMaria's 
 fortune. As to JNIaria herself, if he 
 could secure the thousands, he would 
 willingly have allowed her to be happy 
 with any other man ; for neither her 
 beauty, gentleness of manners, nor good 
 sense, had made the slightest impression 
 on the heart of the valiant Major. Cer- 
 tainly, when he heard it said, which he 
 frequently did in public, by persons un- 
 acquainted with the party, " What a 
 beautiful elegant girl that is ! " he felt 
 his pride gratified, if, in return, the 
 isper reached his ear, *' Yes, she is
 
 SCHEMING. 145 
 
 remarkably handsome ; I hear she has a 
 large fortune, and is very shortly to be 
 married to the gentleman next to her, 
 who is grandson to Lord Alpomp." 
 Then did " Hilly" feel elated at the 
 admiration his intended wife (for his 
 wife he intended her to be, and that he 
 thought sufficient,) excited. 
 
 This he imagined was aifection, but 
 he was much mistaken; for it was sim- 
 ply vanity, and the flattering hope that 
 his being in possession of this lovely 
 creature would make him an object of 
 envy among his former associates. Un- 
 der the influence of such feelings he, 
 lover-Hke, indulged in many a reverie, 
 and many a day-dream, as to the happy 
 time when he should return to London, 
 and exhibit his charming bride, sitting 
 
 VOL. I. H
 
 146 SCHEMING. 
 
 by him in a new curricle (the plan of 
 which he had already drawn on paper) 
 with a pair of dapple greys, and fol- 
 lowed by two grooms, when, as he dex- 
 terously w^hipped up or down Bond- 
 street, he should be called by his ci- 
 devant companions, "a prime fellow ! " 
 '' a fortunate dog ! '" He felt himself swell 
 with consequence at the idea of how 
 they would all, with smiles on their 
 faces and envy in their hearts, gather 
 round and offer him their hands, to 
 congratulate him on coming among them 
 again : and how he would himself stand, 
 with his head thrown up, his hands in 
 his cuhtte pockets (though not as now, 
 that his hands were all he had to put 
 into his pockets), and look big at the 
 very people from whom he had, three
 
 SCHEMING. 147 
 
 years before, solicited pecuniary assist- 
 ance with the whining voice and mean- 
 ness which could never have been 
 adopted by one who had the real feel- 
 ings of a gentleman. 
 
 But Hildebrand Brayforth was servile 
 and low in distress, and, like all those 
 who are so, when relieved from it, he 
 was over-bearing and insulting. He 
 now gave up his whole time to making 
 himself, as he thought, agreeable to 
 Miss Marsden, in the hope of soon be- 
 ing able, with her and her money, to make 
 a splendid re-appearance in the metro- 
 polis, and to shew off among his friends; 
 for, doubtless, when so circumstanced, 
 he would have many, although he could 
 not find one some years before who 
 would lend him a few hundreds to prc- 
 H 2
 
 148 SCHEMING. 
 
 vent his being obliged to leave the foot- 
 guards, to accommodate his vulgar dun- 
 ning tradesmen, who, if he had not 
 done so, would have speedily (such was 
 was their want of delicacy) accommo- 
 dated him with furnished lodgings, 
 which, though often inhabited by very 
 fashionable young gentlemen, did not 
 happen to be exactly suited to his taste. 
 Indeed he preferred even the drudgery 
 of being adjutant to his father's regi- 
 ment, which situation he w^as very glad 
 to accept, after paying the most pressing 
 of his debts ; for, though he had at that 
 time sufficient money to discharge them 
 all, yet he had not resolution or principle 
 to do so; but, by placing a bill here at 
 six months, in w^hich time, according to 
 his calculation, " many things might
 
 SCHEMING. 149 
 
 happen ; " by buying a horse there, and re- 
 ceiving the balance of a draft given for 
 it, accepted by a trusty friend, who was 
 to sail in a few days for South America, 
 and who had his petite part for writing 
 his name across stamped paper — and two 
 or three more wheel-within-wheel trans- 
 actions, he contrived to avoid '^giving 
 away all his money" (as he called paying 
 his just debts,) and to be soon as deeply 
 involved as ever, as most people are, vvlio, 
 instead of suffering a trifling present in- 
 convenience, prefer lea\dng a leaven of 
 debt mixed in their affairs, which seldom 
 fails to spread quickly through the 
 whole of them. Then did he repair to 
 his worthy father, with a corrupted 
 heart, an empty head, and vain projects; 
 and as, during the time that he had
 
 150 SCHEMING. 
 
 been in the regiment, he had not been 
 able to derive much advantage from all, 
 or either of these qualifications, he had 
 nearly resigned all expectation of being 
 any thing better than ^lajor Hilde- 
 
 brand Bray forth, of the th foot, 
 
 until time or their physicians should 
 consign his grandfather and father to 
 the family vault of the Alpomps ! — two 
 events which he sighed for as anxiously 
 as ever did a reverend divine (whose 
 duty it is to preach humility) for the 
 death of the bishop w^hose crosier he 
 expects. These filial wishes he never 
 tried to conceal from any one, the 
 two persons excepted whose disappear- 
 ance fi'om this world was to complete 
 them ; on the contrary, he thought it 
 gave him consequence, to talk of the
 
 SCHEMING. 151 
 
 honours which he so impatiently looked 
 forward to ; and he generally prefaced 
 any harangue which he v/as making to 
 astonish the subalterns by his greatness 
 in perspective, with, " When I 'm the 
 Viscount." 
 
 Alas ! poor youth ! he did not know, 
 though most of his hearers did, that the 
 titles of the family would never be graced 
 or disgraced by him ! That circumstance 
 was a secret of state, in the Colonel's 
 household, and woe unto the first who 
 should have breathed a hint to any of the 
 children, that the chaste, the virtuous, and 
 now Honourable Mrs. Brayforth, had ever 
 deviated from the paths of the strictest 
 propriety. 
 
 As Maria derived no pleasure from the 
 attentions of JNIajor Brayforth, she would
 
 15« SCHEMING. 
 
 have been very glad that any thing hap- 
 pened to make him change the object to 
 which he thought fit to pay his court. 
 Yet, as he had always taken care to keep 
 up the greatest appearance of good nature, 
 and as his sisters were continually trum- 
 petting his praises in her ears, she 
 thought he was what he seemed, a very 
 good-hearted young man ; and she wished 
 she knew in what manner she could give 
 him to understand, that she never could 
 be to him more than a friend. But as 
 he had not put, what the ladies call " the 
 question," her diffidence as yet had pre- 
 vented her giving him this infonnation. 
 
 Lord Montrevor frequently lounged 
 
 his really handsome person into JNIrs. 
 
 Brayforth's drawing-room, and passed 
 
 half an hour in deranging the whole
 
 SCHEMING. 153 
 
 establishment; and Maria already felt 
 considerable interest for liim, in spite of 
 the character she heard of him ; which 
 certainly was not much to his advantage. 
 Indeed, seldom a day past without some 
 anecdote being told of the Earl. Either 
 he had broken his valet's head, because 
 he had not laced his stays tight enough; 
 — or, he had gone extremely intoxicated 
 into a party of modest women, at least 
 women who were entitled to be called 
 such, as they contrived to live with their 
 husbands, went regularly to church, and 
 spoke ill of all those who did not; — or else 
 he had just imported from Town a dash- 
 ing female, of a very doubtful order, and 
 taken her, leaning on his arm, to the 
 theatre, where, in open defiance of all 
 the rules of decorum, he had placed her 
 h5
 
 154 SCHEMING. 
 
 next to one . of the above-mentioned 
 modest women! 
 
 If our readers have ever been so for- 
 tunate as to spend any part of their lives 
 in a country town, they can easily 
 imagine how much conversation such a 
 man must have been the subject of, in a 
 place of that description. His possessing 
 a very large estate in the neighbourhood, 
 did not prevent each of his faux pas 
 being repeated in a hundred different 
 ways, and with as many exaggerations: 
 though, to own the truth, they required 
 none; for we are sorry to be obliged to 
 acknowledge, that it was hardly possible 
 for him to be out-done in drinking, 
 rioting, extravagance, gaming, and the 
 various et ceteras of fashionable vices.
 
 SCHEMING. 155 
 
 Whenever any of his exploits were re- 
 peated to the Brayforth family, JMrs. 
 Brayforth attempted to justify the Earl, 
 because he was "the Earl." Colonel 
 Brayforth, lest his lady should commit 
 herself in the attempt, usually tried to 
 give the conversation another turn. ISliss 
 Brayforth continued examining her book 
 of anatomical sketches, as if his Lord- 
 ship's conduct was of no consequence to 
 her. Selina laid aside her kaleidoscope 
 to listen, and exclaim, " Oh ! good gra- 
 cious ! how delightful !" ' Hilly' thought 
 it was " prime !" but that he kept to him- 
 self, as also his regret that his purse 
 vvould not allow him to keep pace with 
 him in all his follies. INIaria sighed, and 
 could not help acknowledging to herself,
 
 156 SCHEMING. 
 
 that his every action was the action of an 
 idiot. Still, however, w^hen she recol- 
 lected the sense and intelligence with 
 which he had conversed with her the 
 preceding evening, when most of the 
 party were engaged at cards, and he 
 had remained, sitting with her at the end 
 of the room, away from the rest; her 
 opinion wavered, and she still hoped that 
 the assertions so continually made to his 
 discredit originated only with those who 
 envied liim, and that they might be nearly, 
 if not altogether, destitute of truth. Y et 
 again, his manners in general, his affec- 
 tation in every company she had seen him 
 in, — yes! — he must be one of the most 
 silly men of the kaut ton, (et c'est beau- 
 coup dire! J and from all she heard, one 
 of the most depraved likewise. Still his
 
 SCHEMING. 157 
 
 conversation, and the sentiments he had so 
 elegantly expressed, the several times he 
 had happened to converse with her apart 
 from the society with which they were 
 usually surrounded, were both contra- 
 dictions to these suppositions; and de- 
 clared him to be a man of sense and prin- 
 ciple, of the most cultivated understand- 
 ing, and the most feeling heart. Then, 
 perhaps, just at the moment when she 
 was delighted at finding herself convinced 
 that he was a being of that description, 
 they were joined by Lady Elizabeth 
 Palmer, (whose rank secured her " an 
 invite" to all ISIrs. Brayforth's parties,) 
 Major Bray forth, or one of his sisters, 
 and at that moment, to her astonish- 
 ment and dismay, the Earl immediately 
 fell into his usual lounging manner ; not
 
 158 SCHEMING. 
 
 a word of sense or meaning could possi- 
 bly be extracted from him, during the 
 remainder of his visit; and Maria was 
 left as undecided respecting his character 
 as ever. But she was almost obliged to 
 confess to herself, that in studying it, 
 she had nearly lost her heart ; and the 
 consciousness of this hurt her the more, 
 as she feared she had given it to an un- 
 worthy object. She felt some comfort, 
 however, in the assurance, that neither 
 he, nor any other human being, would 
 ever know the weakness she had been 
 guilty of. The resolution she made to 
 conquer her predilection for Lord Mon- 
 trevor, was considerably strengthened by 
 his happening to dine at her guardian's 
 the very day she had formed it, when 
 his affectation, and even rudeness,
 
 SCHEMING. 159 
 
 out-did every former folly she bad seen 
 him commit. 
 
 He seemed, indeed, to have collected 
 an entire new set of airs and graces, 
 for this entertainment. During the 
 dessert, ^laria discovered a new trait 
 in his Lordship's character, more to 
 his disadvantage, than any she had 
 yet observed : she found he was cruel 
 in the extreme. He began talking of 
 what he called a " flogging batch," 
 which was to take place the following 
 morning, and said " he should exert 
 himself and get up in time to en- 
 joy the field sport, as he would not 
 miss the sight for the best set of bays 
 he had ever driven ; 'tvras as good 
 as seeing a badger baited, nay even 
 better, as his dogs ran no risk of
 
 160 SCHEMING. 
 
 being hurt ; all whip-cord, cut him 
 well ! well into him, eh !" Lady Eli- 
 zabeth Palmer inquired what the 
 amusement w-as, the anticipation of 
 which seemed to please him so much ; 
 and she turned quite pale, when he 
 replied, that one of his men, was 
 to receive a cool twelve hundred, for 
 being absent without leave, " a curthed 
 rathcal," he w^nt on, " sought I 'spose 
 that his wife couldn't be delivered 
 'till she had a sight of his ugly phys, 
 and demn him, though I 'fused leave, 
 he went without it, truly 'cause some 
 one wrote him word his wife couldn't 
 recover, and that she was in a brain 
 fever, and was continually calling for 
 him, proof enough the w^oman v/as 
 mad! the whimpering scoundrel whines
 
 SCHEMING. 161 
 
 out some most piteous story of this 
 sort, but to-morrow we'll make him 
 squeak for it." 
 
 Though Lady Elizabeth was not 
 one of , those ladies who are called feel- 
 ing, from making it a practice to be 
 carried out of the theatre, screaming 
 in hysterics, by way of an inter- 
 lude, whenever any fashionable actress 
 performs, yet it was as much as she 
 could do to hide what she really felt, 
 while Lord jMontrevor was making the 
 preceding speech. It also required the 
 utmost efforts of INIaria's self-command 
 to conceal the disgust with which his 
 conversation had inspired her; but it 
 required no effort, now, to cease think- 
 ing of the man who was capable of 
 it, excepting with abhorrence, and even
 
 162 SCHEMING. 
 
 his fine countenance now appeared any 
 thing but handsome to her. 
 
 As Lord JMontrevor finished speak- 
 ing, a letter was given to JNIrs. Bray- 
 forth, who no sooner saw its enor- 
 mous seal, with the huge coronet, than 
 she cried, "it is from my dear friend 
 the German Baroness, who 1 was so 
 intricately acquainted with," — (Colonel 
 Bray forth coughed,) — "for ten days in our 
 last quarters, and who set off for Lon- 
 don, and promised to come here to 
 be near us, and said, she'd bring my 
 girls from school: I've been very un- 
 easy at not hearing, so you'll excuse 
 my opening her." She accordingly be- 
 gan reading the letter, but soon threw 
 it on the table, exclaiming, " If the 
 woman turns out to be a common pros-
 
 SCHEMING. 163 
 
 titute," — (Colonel Brayforth coughed 
 louder than before,) — "why does she 
 write and tell me of it?" Hilly, tak- 
 ing up the epistle, with some difficulty 
 read aloud as follows. 
 
 " INIaistress de Collonel. 
 
 " dis is vor let you 
 know, dat de day after j leave you, 
 j have been overtake by a lifer on de 
 road, and been in my bed wid him 
 ever since, now six week ; so vrhat j 
 have had to bear, you mush shink! 
 dis fifer come to Angaland wid de 
 troops as land from Gibh alter, and 
 j had him so strong, he most kill 
 me, and byside he tacke all my mo- 
 ney to nourish him ; he not now so 
 bad, and only come every two day.
 
 164 SCHEMING. 
 
 SO j can go on, vor vetch your youngs 
 ladys home, if you. will send me some 
 geld, wish you shall have hack, almost 
 dieractly, j hear vrom my banker in 
 Chere-lNIanie, dat is to say in Hanover, de 
 part dat is your own Angeleech Prince's 
 Chere-lManie. j can say no more, vor 
 de fifer is just come upon me, but 
 ham, doe shaking under him, wid 
 great respect, INIaistress de Collonel's 
 most devote and obblidge 
 
 " IMarie Grossina, 
 "Baroness von Strummblimm." 
 
 " There !" cried ]Mrs. Brayforth, " you 
 see what she is, with all her great talk 
 of rank ! But I don't want to hear of 
 such goings on, sleeping with lifers and 
 the like;" the Colonel's cough returned,
 
 SCHEMING. 165 
 
 " and asking me to lend her money till 
 she hears from Germany, she must think 
 English people can have little to do with 
 their money, to lend it on the chance 
 of getting paid from Germany indeed ! " 
 for, when angry, ISIrs. Brayforth would 
 speak against, or suspect, any honest na- 
 tion. 
 
 " La ! good gracious ! in bed with a 
 fifer six w^eeks ! how delightfully odd ! " 
 exclaimed Selina. 
 
 " I wish Miss Silly you would 'n't 
 make such remarks," said her Mama, 
 " you 're as bad as the foreign woman 
 herself; however it will be a lesson to 
 me, never to be civil to any of 'em 
 again." 
 
 In a few moments it was discovered, 
 that the poor Baroness had been ill of
 
 166 SCHEMING. 
 
 a fever, and that the mistake arose from 
 her ignorance of the English language, 
 and its genders, which made her call 
 ' him,' (as she termed it,) ' a fifer,' and 
 Hanover an ' Angeleech Prince's Chere- 
 Manie.' 
 
 Though all this was explained to 
 Mrs. Brayforth, nothing could pacify her, 
 or re-instate her quondam dear friend 
 the Baroness in her good graces. — 
 She continued violent in her invectives 
 against the unhappy foreigner, till she 
 retired with the ladies to the drawing- 
 room : and then even she did not cease 
 abusing her. For, however, she might 
 get over the mistake of the fifer, INIrs. 
 Brayforth never could forgive the being 
 asked to commit such an error as lend- 
 ing money; and resolved in her ovna.
 
 SCHEMING. 167 
 
 mind to have nothing more to say to a 
 ^vomau, who, she nov*- suspected, had de- 
 ceived her, when she promised to bring 
 her daughters home free of expense. 
 She, therefore, never made any further 
 inquiries about her. So that the poor 
 Baroness, for aught she knows, may be 
 yet in bed with the ' fifer,' or what 
 may be just as disagreeable, waiting for 
 money, from an " Angeieech Prince's 
 Chere-:Manie ! ! " 
 
 Vrhen the gentlemen came up, and 
 were taking coffee, IMonsieur Amadou 
 de Fausileair, a young Frenchman, a 
 Boulevard acquaintance of Selina's, v»^hif- 
 fied into the room. " Enchante de vous 
 voi, Mesdames! — Vote sante bonne? — 
 Ckame d'atoi Vhonneu de vousfaie mes 
 respects ! — Mes fees m'ont alleges de
 
 168 SCHEMING. 
 
 vous die mille choses de leu pat,'' — care- 
 fully affecting, (as many other Paris ex- 
 quisites do,) not to pronounce the 7\ Se- 
 lina seeing Mrs. Brayforth did not know 
 how to answer so many things said in a 
 breath, some of which she understood a 
 little, others not at all, and delighted at 
 having an opportunity of shewing off her 
 school-learning, immediately began trans- 
 lating them into English, in her way, 
 and finished by saying, " and Ma, Mon- 
 sieur de Fausileair says, " his brothers 
 desired him to ,^ay a thousand fine things 
 to you of their parts." " I'm much 
 obliged to "em, it's a French compliment 
 I suppose ; for 1 really don't understand 
 it," returned Mrs. Brayforth, drawing 
 herself up ; but you do of course, and 
 that's sufficient."
 
 SCHEMING. 169 
 
 " Monsieur prendra une tasse de 
 tlie^ oil decafe?'' said Colonel Bray- 
 forth." 
 
 " Bien oblige ! — 3Iille gdces ! rien ! 
 Seulementje demande-ois iin ve d' eaiiy 
 pou mette mon cue-dent r 
 
 Selina tittered, and v»'as beginning a 
 " La ! how odd ! " and ]Mrs. Brayfortlvs 
 animosity to foreigners was again break- 
 ing forth ; for flying up to her husband, 
 she cried in a whisper, " He sha'n't wasli 
 himself here, or have water in my house 
 for so dirty a purpose." 
 
 Half smiling at the quiproquo the 
 leaving the r out occasioned, the Colonel 
 quietly desired a servant to bring a glass 
 of water to JMonsieur de Faufileair, who, 
 taking out his tooth-pick, made most li- 
 
 V OL. I. I
 
 170 SCHEMING. 
 
 beral use of it ; then rinsing his mouth 
 several times, and as frequently spitting 
 the water back into the glass, declared, 
 " Que depuis dine il avail eu quelque 
 chose enV les dents que le genait heau- 
 coup'' 
 
 " Ou avez vous ete depuis quelques 
 jours que vous n'etes pas venu nous 
 voir ? " asked Hilly. 
 
 '* Oh ! Mon Dieu ! que sais-je ?" 
 answered Monsieur de Faufileair, " pa- 
 ct, pa-la. — Mais ne savez vous pas 
 qu'il ntest a-ive un accident? Oui! 
 Jai decouvet qu'il m'en est a-ive un! " 
 
 *' Decouvert qu'il vous est arrive un 
 accident,'' repeated Colonel Brayforth, 
 " comment done ? Rien de sei'ieuoc^j'es- 
 pere.
 
 SCHEMING. 171 
 
 " Losquefai (lit un accident, ce n'est 
 pas a moi pecisement, que c'est a-ivc! — 
 plutot a ma femme, — on m'a fait cocu ! 
 — Mais, il n'y a pas long-temps de 
 cela: — no?i ! il ny a pas long-temps de 
 cela. Oh ! le joli air que Mademoi- 
 selle joiie ! — c'cst ddlicieucc ! — On va 
 valser, n'est ce jms f — 
 
 La valse est chez nous, 
 Lafoi d€S epoux. 
 Nous fait passer des momcns biendoux.''^ 
 
 sang the gay Parisian, while valsing 
 himself three or four times round to 
 the tune Miss Brayforth was playing. 
 Then going up to her sister, he cried, 
 " Ah ! 3Ia'amselle Sil-y-nd, vous aU 
 lez danscr ! Aimez vous la valse ? To 
 which she replied, " Oui ! heaucoup, 
 l2
 
 J 72 SCHEMING. 
 
 mais Ma ne ^iew pas qutje valse, car 
 <iu commencement c'est difficile, et 
 quand je n'ai pas beaucoup dansee 
 Je ne pue pas, mais ap?i's jai dansee 
 quelque terns, je deviens forte, et je 
 piier 
 
 " Je ne le cois pas,'' said the exquisite, 
 " une diamante Demoiselle comme voiis, 
 non? c' est impossible r 
 
 But Selina, in return, cried, " c'est 
 bien vrai, je pue'' 
 
 " Je ne le coi-ai de ma vie,'' returned 
 the Parisian, as twirling his cane Tound 
 his fingers, he whirled out of the room, 
 leaving Selina still pue-ing : for she had 
 again cried *' I can" (or at least, what 
 she thought was French for it,) several 
 times, before she perceived that Mon-
 
 SCHEMING. 173 
 
 sieur Amadou was gone ! So 
 
 anxious was she to convince him of 
 her abilities, ailcl so sudden had been 
 his exit. 
 
 In the course of the evening Maria 
 took an opportunity of speaking to Hil- 
 debrand Brayforth, respecting the poor 
 man who was to undergo such severe 
 punishment next day ; the sorrow he 
 expressed at not having it in his power 
 to have it mitigated, considerably raised 
 the ^lajor in her estimation, and he 
 gained much by the comparison she 
 drew between his ideas on this occasion, 
 and those which Lord IMontrevor had 
 sported. 
 
 ' Hilly' declared he had not slept 
 for three nights, at the thoughts of
 
 174" SCHEMING. 
 
 what he shouhl suffer, at being obliged 
 to witness the poor soldier's tortures, and 
 that he would give all he was worth, 
 (which entre nous was not saying 
 much,) to be able to avoid the dreadful 
 sight. 
 
 JMaria asked him, if it was not pos- 
 sible to have the man forgiven, in 
 consideration of the situation his wife 
 was in, and which had occasioned his 
 neglect of duty. But he informed her, 
 that as the man was in Lord IMontrevor's 
 regiment, it must be to him she must 
 apply, as it rested with his Lordship, as 
 his commanding officer, to forgive him. 
 
 " I don't at all like,'' Maria returned, 
 " asking any favour of Lord IMontrevor, 
 or even speaking to him again, so tho-
 
 SCHEMING. 175 
 
 roughly am I disgusted by his cruelty ; 
 but as it is the only alternative, for the 
 soldier's sake and his poor wife, I '11 
 see whether I can't prevail on his Lord- 
 ship this once, to amuse himself with 
 the sufferings of a badger, and that is 
 bad enough, instead of those of a fellow- 
 creature ! " 
 
 " Heaven send you success,'^ said the 
 Major, " for their sakes ; and, indeed, I 
 may add for my ov»n, as I shall feel 
 eveiy stroke on my heart, which the poor 
 fellow receives on his back." 
 
 They then separated, and Maria sat 
 down to watch for an opportunity of 
 making her request to the Earl. She 
 soon saw him recline on a sofa next to 
 Lady Elizabeth Palmer, and think-
 
 176 SCHEMING. 
 
 ing that would be a good time to make 
 an assault on his feelings, as she was 
 sure of being seconded by her Ladyship, 
 she crossed the room for the purpose, and 
 seating herself next to Lord jNIontrevor 
 told him what she was come to beg, and 
 said every thing she could think of, as 
 most likely to induce him to grant her 
 petition. 
 
 He listened to her in silence, amus- 
 ing himself the whole time, by holding 
 up his glove for his poodle to catch 
 at ; and some minutes after she had 
 ceased speaking, and was looking at him 
 for an answer, he replied, " You surely 
 are joking. What an immensely ridi- 
 culous proposition, to think I could 
 possibly give up such fun, and at this 
 time of the year too, when the hunting
 
 SCHEMING. 177 
 
 and shooting season is over, and one is 
 annihilated all the morning ^\ith ennui! 
 preposterous ! " 
 
 Though completely disgusted, Maria 
 had not given up the point ; but was 
 prevented saying any more on the sub- 
 ject, by Lady Elizabeth (who, to her 
 great surprise, had not joined in her in- 
 tercession for the soldier,) hastily rising 
 and taking her by the arm. As they 
 walked away INI aria perceived a tri- 
 umphant smile on the Earl's counte- 
 nance; and her dislike to him grew every 
 moment stronger. — " ]My dear ]Miss 
 JNIarsden," said Lady Elizabeth, as soon 
 as they were out of Lord jNIontrevor's 
 hearing, " I could no longer bear to 
 hear you soliciting a favour of Lord 
 ^lontrevor, when I am sure all you 
 I 5
 
 178 schp:ming. 
 
 could have said would only have called 
 forth more of his unfeeling remarks : it 
 is melancholy to think that any human 
 being should delight, as you see he does, 
 in ^vitnessing the torture of his fellow- 
 creatures. I know very little of that 
 young man, whose sentiments have this 
 day, I am certain, created abhorrence in 
 your bosom : I scarcely ever saw him be- 
 fore his father's death, which event took 
 place nearly twelve months ago; shortly 
 after which he returned from abroad, 
 where he had passed the greatest part 
 of his youth, and has ever since resided 
 in this neighbourhood, the thing you see 
 him, though 'till to-day I thought his 
 faults were only of the head ; but now I 
 find his heart is bad, so that no amend-
 
 SCHEMING. 179 
 
 nient is ever to be hoped for." Mcaria 
 sighed, and expressed her sorrow that 
 there was no possihihty of saving the 
 soklier. In return Lady Elizabeth de- 
 sired her not to despair of that : " the 
 General commanding this district/' she 
 went on, " is my uncle ; to him I shall 
 send an express this night : I mean to 
 take my leave at an early hour for that 
 purpose, and am not without hope of 
 being yet able to deprive Lord IMontre- 
 vor of his barbarian amusement/' 
 
 Quite delighted at this intelligence, 
 Maria left Lady Elizabeth to whisper it 
 to Hildebrand Brayforth, who was seated 
 at a card- table. He joined with her 
 most warmly, in hoping the application 
 would be successful ; and what he s^aid
 
 180 SCHEMING. 
 
 seemed to evince so much goodness of 
 heart, that she felt more pleased ^vith 
 him than she had ever been before. 
 
 Though the party had been stunned 
 the whole evening with the powerful 
 execution, on the grand piano, of several 
 concertos, sonatas, fantasias, storms, and 
 battle-pieces, by ^liss Brayforth, accom- 
 panied by Captain Humphreys's violon- 
 cello ; yet now, when for a few^ moments 
 quietness ensued. Colonel Brayforth 
 (who always approved of his family's con- 
 versation being drowned in any noise 
 louder than their own) asked if Letitia 
 w'as not going to give them another 
 piece of music. But Letitia had disap- 
 peared, as she had frequently done of 
 late from parties. Mrs. Brayforth com- 
 ing forward, said, " I saw 'em bring her
 
 SCHE31IXG. 181 
 
 a slip of paper just now, and I believe 
 she 's gone to her lahoury : she has/' 
 she added, turning to Lord IMontrevor, 
 '• a young surgeon comes every evening, 
 (the only time he has to spare,) to bring 
 her destniction ; he teaches her botomy^ 
 natomy, and many other things I don't 
 know the names of; indeed she "s so 
 clever she'll soon know every thing ; she 
 increases in learning wonderfully ! But 
 Silly will play something 'till she re- 
 turns ; com.e, Silly, play us that new 
 piece I liked so much yesterday, that 
 you played it three times successfully to 
 me," said the scheming INIama, think- 
 ing it only just to give each daughter a 
 chance, and at least to let his Lord- 
 ship take his choice. Silly simpering an 
 *• Oh! Ma, I so seldom play, but I '11
 
 182 SCHEMING. 
 
 try it," began the overture to Lodoiska ; 
 and fearing Captain Humphreys's ac- 
 companiment would prevent her 'pianis- 
 simo touches from being heard, she 
 cried, " Do Captain Humphreys play 
 p. p. with me ; pray Captain Hum- 
 phreys play p. p. when I do." 
 
 As no one ever attended to what Se- 
 lina said or did, no one listened to her 
 performance, and the company departed 
 while she and Captain Humphreys were 
 playing p. p. together. 
 
 When Miss ^larsden had retired for 
 the night, and rung for Jenny (we beg 
 her pardon, we mean Mrs. Jane,) she 
 heard a gentle tap at her door, and, after 
 a *•' may I come in ?" ]Miss Erayforth 
 entered. — " My dear JNIiss Mai'sden/' 
 she began, " I wanted all day to speak
 
 SCHEMING. 18^ 
 
 to you, and could not find an opportu- 
 nity : poor Hildebrand ! — My only hope 
 is from you." Maria's face began to bum 
 at these words : now that she highly 
 esteemed him, she felt sorry at being 
 certain he intended making her a propo- 
 sal. She wished him to be, and always 
 to continue, her friend. Stammering 
 then, she asked Letitia " what it was 
 she wanted to speak to her about." 
 
 " Why," she replied, " I scarcely 
 know how to tell you ; but, in the first 
 place, you must promise me never to 
 tell my brother what I am going to 
 say." To this Maria gladly consented ; 
 and, after jNIrs. Jane had been dismissed 
 for a time, and the ladies were seated, 
 ?rliss Brayforth continued : — " Hilde- 
 brand would never forgive me as long as
 
 184 sche:\iixg. 
 
 liH3 lives, if he kiiev/ I betrayed his se- 
 cret.'' 
 
 " Then," said ^Miss JNIarsden, inter- 
 rupting her, " had yoa not better keep 
 it, rather than run the risk of incurring 
 his displeasure ? " 
 
 " Oh no," replied JSIiss Brayforth, '•' I 
 must tell you, for it depends entirely on 
 you whether he is driven to desperation 
 or not." Maria trembled, and got up ta 
 remove the candles, saying the light 
 affected her eyes, but in fact to prevent 
 her confusion being seen. 
 
 " You must know," jMiss Brayfortli 
 went on, " that poor Hilly has never 
 been my father's favourite, because he 
 did not like the expense which a young 
 man's entrance into life necessarily oc- 
 casions,- -that was the reason my brother
 
 SCHEMING. 185 
 
 was obliged to leave the Guards ; ni^f 
 father would not enable him to support 
 his rank as became the man who will be 
 some day Viscount Alpomp : and Hilly 
 is so charitable, though he never makes 
 any talk about it, that if he had ever 
 so much it would all go, for he can't 
 bear to see distress without relieving it. 
 All the soldiers and their wives kno^v- 
 that, and they always apply to him 
 when they are in want ; pool* fellow ! I'm 
 afraid he has brought ruin upon himself 
 by his too feeling disposition, for, among 
 the recruits which were brought to the 
 regiment a few days ago, he found twelve 
 or thirteen who were poor men with 
 large families which they had left to 
 starve ; they are ignorant countrymen 
 whom Serjeant ]NrXab had enlisted
 
 186 SCHEMING. 
 
 when drunk at a fair, and got attested 
 before they were sober, so when they 
 came to their senses, and found they had - 
 no resource, they were almost distracted. 
 When my brother saw their misery he 
 determined to reheve it, and told 
 M'Nab to procure a substitute for each, 
 and he woidd pay what he was obliged 
 to give *em : all this was to be done in a 
 great hurry before my father sav/ the re- 
 cruits, as he would never forgive Hilly 
 for throwing so much money away." 
 
 " Don't call it throwing money away," 
 cried Maria, ** when it is to save so 
 many families from wretchedness." 
 
 " I don't indeed," said Miss Bray- 
 forth ; " but then you know my father 
 would. Now M'Xab has got men ready 
 to serve instead of those, but, as he
 
 SCHEMING. 187 
 
 was in such haste, he was obliged to 
 promise them great bounty — not one is 
 to have less than twenty guineas ; and, 
 as the recruits are to be inspected to- 
 morrow, if it is not settled immediately 
 it can't be done. jIy brother is now 
 walking about his room in the greatest 
 agitation ; the substitutes won't inlist 
 without having the money down ; and 
 he could pay them in a month or six 
 Aveeks at farthest, but not now : if he 
 asked my father for money, he would 
 directly enquire what he wanted it for ; 
 but Hilly swears he'll sell his commis- 
 sion to-morrow rather than disappoint 
 the poor creatures." 
 
 During these words ]Maria had opened 
 her writing-desk and was reckoning some 
 bank-notes, which she now put into ^liss
 
 188 SCHEMING. 
 
 Brayforth's hand, saying, " There is the 
 whole of what I have hy me ; if that is 
 enough, give it to your brother directly 
 for his benevolent purpose." 
 
 " Indeed," said Miss Brayforth, " I 
 came to see whether you couldn't lend 
 me the sum he wants, as I know he can 
 very shortly repay it i but now I "ve got 
 it how can I give it to him ? — for if he 
 knew I had either mentioned a syllable 
 of his charitable design, or applied to 
 you for assistance, he would never for- 
 give me ; yet I must give it to him, for I 
 am certain he mil dispose of his commis- 
 sion, as he says, rather than disappoint 
 these poor wretches.' 
 
 " For heaven's sake," cried Maria, 
 " don't delay a moment, but hasten to 
 him with the money !"
 
 SCHEMING. 189 
 
 *' I must first consider how I can per- 
 suade him to take it," returned INIiss 
 Bray forth : " his high sense of honour 
 will be hurt, I am sure, at the idea of 
 borrowing from his father's ward in a 
 clandestine manner. As I said before, I 
 fear I shall incur his lasting displea- 
 sure by what I 've done ; and yet, if he 
 sold his commission, he would be totally 
 ruined, for my father would never assist 
 him again : his leaving the Guards was 
 caused by a benevolent action, but that 
 is too long a story for me to tell," or 
 invent, she might have added, " at 
 present." 
 
 After more conversation of the same 
 kind, they separated; JNIiss Brayforth 
 going, she said, to try to persuade her 
 brother to accept the loan of ^Maria's two
 
 190 SCHEMING. 
 
 hundred pounds : and we will leave 
 her to perform her very difficult task; 
 only adding, that the whole trans- 
 action was arranged with such secrecy, 
 that it never became known, or got 
 talked of; — rather a remarkable circum- 
 stance (as we were told it was to give 
 happiness to thirteen families), and a 
 proof that great acts of charity, as well 
 as the charitable acts of the gi^eat may 
 sometimes be kept so secret, that one 
 would scarcely believe they had ever 
 taken place. However, strange things 
 do happen in this 'best of worlds:' — 
 paupers dying in alms-houses are found 
 to have been possessed of thousands; and 
 those known to be rich, are, after their 
 death, found to have been paupers ! 
 The whole time Jenny was undressing
 
 SCHEMING. 191 
 
 her mistress, she entertained her with 
 complaints of Mrs. Brayforth's parsimony ; 
 and as JNIiss Marsden's mind was too 
 much occupied by her own reflections to 
 attend to what her femme de chamhre 
 was saying, she did not, as was her 
 custom, stop her from running into 
 bitter invectives against the lady of the 
 mansion. 
 
 "I never knowed such an old scrape- 
 all as she is, begging your pardon, IMiss, 
 for speaking so of any one that you are 
 with, but I'm sure if you knowed her 
 ways, Miss, you'd say I'm right. Why 
 only to-day, when the gentlemen left the 
 dining-parlour, the Colonel called James, 
 and told him to take down the wine as 
 was left in the decanters for a treat for 
 the servants; and would vou believe it.
 
 192 SCHEMING. 
 
 Miss, though James made as much haste 
 as he could, for says he, ' I thought ' 
 says he, ' what our old stingy would he 
 at,' — would you believe it, JNIiss, she 
 comed down just as he was carrying away 
 the decanters ; — ' where are you going 
 with them ? ' she called out with her old 
 squeaking voice: then James told het 
 what his master had bid him do, but he 
 might have saved himself the trouble, 
 for sure enough she took them from him; 
 — ' A treat for the servants indeed ! ' says 
 she, * times are come to a pretty pass, if 
 servants are to have treats ! ' You'd laugh, 
 INIiss, to see how nigh like her James 
 spoke when he took her off. And lauk, 
 I\Iiss, have you seed the old woman that's 
 comed to take care of the young ISIisses 
 when they comes from boarding-school?"
 
 SCHEMING. 193 
 
 '•' No,'' replied iMiss JMarsden, rousing 
 herself, " but I've heard Mrs. Brayforth 
 mention her; I believe she is taken more 
 out of charity than for any use she ^^ill 
 be of: she lived, I understand, with 
 INIrs. Brayforth before she was married, 
 and having fallen into want, has applied 
 to her in her distress, and has been 
 taken into the family." 
 
 " I'm sure, now, that is very good of 
 her, if it is only true ;" said JMrs. Jane, 
 " but I knows what I knows, and if this 
 is all the charity INIrs. Brayforth ever 
 does, I'm afraid she won't go to heaven 
 for it ; why, jNIiss, Corporal Smith was 
 in the kitchen when iMrs. Fawn well 
 corned, and lank! how he did stare to be 
 sure, when he seed her: why, Miss, the 
 Corporal has been in the regiment these 
 
 VOL. I. K
 
 194 SCHEMING. 
 
 thirty years, and he knows who is who, 
 and w4iat is what, he says; and if he 
 w^ould but tell wdiat he knows, may be 
 we servants as is'n't good enough to be 
 treated, truly! might turn out to be 
 better nor those as said so." 
 
 "Jenny," said Miss Marsden, "I have 
 often spoken to you about the disrespect- 
 ful manner in which you talk of Mrs. 
 Brayforth, and I desire you may never 
 again oblige me to speak to you on the 
 same account; it can be of no conse- 
 quence to you who is taken as governess 
 to the younger Miss Brayforths." 
 
 "Lauk, INIiss, I'm sure I begs par- 
 don," returned Mrs. Jane ; " if I'd 
 thought as you'd have been angry, I'd 
 not have said a word I'm sure, JNIiss, 
 about it."
 
 SCHEMING. 195 
 
 Though here ended JNIrs. Jane's ac- 
 count of the newly-arrived Mrs. Fawn- 
 well, that is no reason our readers should 
 he disappointed in their expectations of 
 hearing whence she came. We will 
 therefore let them into this secret. 
 
 K 2
 
 196 SCHEMING. 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 We hope our readers recollect, that 
 a few weeks after the abrupt departure 
 of her niece, " little INIoll Jenkins," INIrs. 
 Jones had given herself and all her 
 worldly goods to the sanctified, sleek- 
 faced Fa^vnwell, who had preached him- 
 self into her good graces. Some months 
 passed very comfortably. Fawn well lived 
 on the fat of the land ; — not a neighbour 
 killed a hog without sending him a pre- 
 sent of the puddings. — The baker's and 
 butcher's wives vied in their attentions to
 
 SCHEMING. 197 
 
 their spiritual guide; the former sent him 
 sweet cakes made with her own hands ; 
 the latter kept all her kidneys to regale 
 dear ISIr. Fawnwell, who was, they said, 
 "the nicest man, and finest preacher, 
 that had ever come into their parts." 
 His good works spread far and wide, and 
 neighhour Jones's happiness in getting 
 such a husband, was a constant theme. 
 Soon after his marriage, he told his wife 
 he had a niece in a distant part of the 
 country, a clever little girl ; " and as you 
 want a handmaid," he added, '* instead 
 of the damsel v/ho turned unto the ways 
 of the wicked one, 1 think Rebecca will 
 answer your purpose ; and when next I go 
 my rounds to visit the sheep in the dif- 
 ferent folds which the Lord hath in- 
 trusted to my care, I will bring the
 
 198 SCHEMING. 
 
 maiden home with me." To this Mrs. 
 Fa\viiwell gladly agreed : " For indeed," 
 she said, " I have been at a great loss 
 lately for some one to attend the shop; 
 but all the girls I see about the town, are 
 so given to gadding and gossiping, I did 
 not know how to venture to take one of 
 them." 
 
 "You are right," retm*ned the preacher, 
 " for verily," he continued,' with his usual 
 pious snuffle, "the young ones of the 
 present times think more of adorning 
 themselves with those abominable co- 
 lours, yellow and pink, than following 
 the ways of the Lord : but my niece, I 
 expect, is very different from them, as I 
 directed the matron, her mother, in the 
 bringing-up of the maiden; and I took 
 care to have her baptised by the decent
 
 SCHEMING. 199 
 
 name of Rebecca, instead of Eliza, 
 Harriot, or any of those vile names 
 the unrighteous have learnt to give 
 their children, from reading romances, 
 novels, and such abominations, more 
 than the holy book." 
 
 Fawnwell kept his word, and returned 
 home the next time, from what he 
 called " his. pilgrimage to visit the 
 elect," accompanied by a very pretty 
 round limbed girl, whom he presented to 
 his wife as his niece Rebecca. She was 
 dressed, as became a damsel brought 
 up under the eye of the worthy 
 preacher, in a plain brown stuff go^ii, 
 and her long black tresses were turned 
 up over a roll under her lawn mob 
 cap. From her rosy lips proceeded
 
 200 SCHEMING. 
 
 iiouglit but words of the mildest ten- 
 dency, spoken in the mildest voice. 
 
 Mvs. Fawnwell was much pleased 
 with her new inmate, and soon gladly 
 gave up ever appearing herself in the 
 {shop, as she had the firmest reliance 
 on the honesty and exactness of Re- 
 becca, who, if she even wanted a quar- 
 ter of a yard of bobbin for her own cap, 
 w^ould not take it without first bring- 
 ing it to shew to her aunt, and to 
 ask her permission : such w^as the fruit 
 of the good instructions she had re- 
 ceived from her holy uncle. 
 
 Things went on in this way for 
 many months, much to the satisfaction 
 of all parties ; Vv^hen one unfortunate 
 evening, Mrs. Fa^\^lwell happening to 
 return home much earlier than usual
 
 SCHEMING. 201 
 
 from the Tabernacle, she let herself in 
 by means of a latch key, which she 
 had taken with her, that she might 
 be able to enter without noise, for fear 
 of disturbing her beloved husband, who 
 had been obliged to retire to bed soon 
 after dinner with a violent head-ache. 
 She crept quietly up stairs, and gently 
 
 opening the chamber door, she saw 
 
 nothing improper certainly, as there 
 was only the pious Benjamin Fawn- 
 well, and his mild, innocent niece, Ke- 
 becca, in the room. Nov; it undoubtedly 
 was but dutiful of the maiden to 
 attend her uncle, and assist him with 
 any thing he might want, yet no sooner 
 did Tslrs. Fawn well cast her eyes on the 
 obliging damsel, than she burst forth into 
 the most violent terms of abuse, both 
 K 5
 
 202 SCHEMING. 
 
 of her and her uncle, declaring she now 
 was convinced he was not her uncle. 
 Her reason for being so convinced we 
 are ignorant of. — " But, by St. Tavid," 
 cried the enraged Cambrian, " you shall 
 leave the house this night ; aye, this mo- 
 ment: ril have no more of your demure 
 
 looks here, you dirty ^" 
 
 But we will not soil our pages with 
 the opprobrious epithets which the jea- 
 lous matron heaped on the trembling 
 Rebecca, who in vain tried to plead her 
 innocence ; she was always interrupted 
 with, " Didn't I see you ? Didn't I 
 
 see you with my own eyes, you ?" 
 
 At this word the preacher spoke for 
 the first time since the unexpected en- 
 trance of his rib; for at this word he
 
 SCHE3IIXG. 20o 
 
 was ^vofully offended in common, it 
 would seem, with his betters ; for many 
 an Honom*able, and Right Honourable 
 fair one can read mth the utmost non- 
 chakmce (while reclining on her sofa and 
 sipping her chocolate) the Sunday-paper, 
 containing the crim. con. in which her 
 husband appeared as plaintiff, and vrould 
 yet swoon at hearing the word applied 
 to herself, which JMrs. Fawnwell so 
 libevallv bestowed on Rebecca. 
 
 Xo sooner then had the Reverend 
 Benjamin heard the substantive in ques- 
 tion than, " Truly," said he, " I wish 
 you would not offend mine ears vritli 
 such abominable words. Recollect your- 
 self I pray : my niece and I were only 
 employed in innocent pastime ; 'tis you
 
 204 SCHEMING. 
 
 vdio have put filthy constructions on our 
 harmless endearments ; the lambs of the 
 Lord will play, but their gambols are 
 innocent." 
 
 " Don't talk to me of your innocent 
 pastime," cried JNIrs. Fawnwell; " a 
 pretty way indeed of passing time — you 
 ought to be ashamed of yourself! and 
 as for that virgin, I hope I don't offend 
 your delicate ears now, that virgin whom 
 you have passed on me for your niece, 
 she shall pack off, bag and baggage, this 
 plessed night ; yes, by St. Tavid, that 
 you shall, you vfte ! " 
 
 Here followed names that again hurt 
 the holy ears of the righteous preacher, 
 who once more tried to convince his en- 
 raged wife that she was wrong; but, alas! 
 it was labour in vain. She persisted in her
 
 SCHEMING. 205 
 
 resolution of turning the niece, or no 
 niece, out of the house that " plessed 
 night ; " to which Fawnwell, as he saw 
 no help for it, was ohliged to consent ; 
 and the gentle maiden, after having 
 smoothed her lawn cap, which had been 
 a little deranged by the events of the 
 evening, departed, iirst telling ]\Irs. 
 Fawnwell, " she should remain in the 
 town a few days, in hopes that, when she 
 had had time to reflect, the Lord would 
 put such wicked thoughts out of her 
 head ; and that when the abominable 
 suspicions, with which Satan had inspired 
 her, no longer occupied her poor deluded 
 brain, she should be ready to return, and 
 forgive, as became a servant of the Lord, 
 what had passed." 
 
 For great part of the night, after He-
 
 206 SCHEMING. 
 
 becca's departure, Mrs. Fawnwell con- 
 tinued abusing her husband, and in- 
 sisting upon his telling her who that 
 slut was whom he had called his niece. 
 To all the abuse and invectives of his 
 wife the patient preacher only answered 
 by turning up his eyes, and lamenting 
 " that the wicked one had so harden-^J 
 (taking care to pronounce the " ed" dis- 
 tinctly by itself,) her heart as to prevent 
 her believing the truth." But she de- 
 clared " she did believe the truth, aye, 
 and the naked truth too : what she had 
 seen she must believe — for seeing ti:as 
 believing." 
 
 At length, quite exhausted with cry- 
 ing and passion, she fell into a sound 
 sleepi^ from which she did not awake un-=.
 
 SCHEMING. 207 
 
 til a mucli later hour than her usual 
 time of rising. 
 
 As her husband had got up she was 
 much surprised he had not called her ; 
 but, she supposed he was sulky in con- 
 sequence of the quarrel of the preceding 
 evening, and preferred breakfasting by 
 himself to having the pleasure of her 
 company. When she went down slair.-^ 
 all was dark, the shop shutters not hav- 
 ing been taken down, and there was 
 no sign of the pious preacher ; at which 
 his wife began again to wax wroth. — 
 " What ?" thought she, " is he gone so 
 early to comfort his madam? but as 
 soon as I've had my breakfast I'll go 
 and ferret him out I'll warrant it ; I'll 
 take care to make any house in Haver- 
 fordwest too hot to hold 'em, I'll have
 
 208 SCHEMING. 
 
 her turned out of the parish, aye that 
 I will ! " 
 
 She had now lighted the fire, and 
 having placed the round table and laid 
 the cloth, she took the key out of her 
 pocket, and proceeded to open the cup- 
 board to get the tea-things: but. Oh! 
 ruin and destruction ! she found it had 
 been opened without the aid of the key : 
 the lock was broken, the silver spoons, 
 cream-jug, and tea-pot, which her " poor 
 dear first husband had given her,' all, all 
 had disappeared ! Almost frantic she 
 hastened to the money drawer in the 
 shop, with the key of it in her hand ; but, 
 alas ! its lock had shared the same fate 
 as that of the cupboard, and nought re- 
 mained in the draw^er save one piece of 
 paper : she quickly snatched it up. " At
 
 SCHEMING. 209 
 
 least," thought she, " the hundred 
 pound note is left that I put here last 
 night, ready to give the Bristol dealer 
 to-day." But instead of ' Abraham 
 Newland,' the name of Benjamin Fawn- 
 well met her eye, preceded by these 
 words. 
 
 " The Lord giveth, and the Lord 
 taketh away, and blessed be the name 
 of the Lord. The wise Solomon said, 
 that one of the things he dreaded wsis 
 an unruly tongue, and truly I dreaded 
 thine ; therefore have I departed in peace. 
 Comfort thyself with the thoughts, that, 
 whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth. 
 Fare thee well. Benjamin Fawnwell ! " 
 
 Such was the leave the pious preacher 
 took of his affectionate v.ife ! It was 
 in vain she made every inquiry where
 
 210 SCHEMING. 
 
 the diflPerent coaches set off. ^o intelli- 
 gence could she get of her sanctified 
 husband or his innocent niece. 
 
 In the midst of her distress the Bristol 
 dealer made his appearance : he entered 
 with a bow and a smirk as usual; " had 
 only called to know whether ]Mrs. Fawn- 
 well had recollected any other article 
 which he could have the pleasure of send- 
 ing her ; had received some new patterns 
 since he had the pleasure of seeing her 
 the day before." He then displayed his 
 red leather case with his latest collec- 
 tion. But iNIrs. Fawnwell, instead of 
 looking at them, began the history of 
 her recent misfortunes, and finished by 
 saying, " all was gone; the villain had 
 not left her a guinea ! " The smirk in- 
 stantly fled from the dealer's face ; the
 
 SCHEMING. 211 
 
 red case, folded up, was returned to the 
 capacious side-pocket : and though " he 
 had only called to know whether there 
 was any other article he could send Mrs. 
 Fawnwell," he now recollected there was 
 an article which he was that day to 
 have received from her ; namely, the 
 hundred pounds which she had so care- 
 fully placed in the drawer ready for him : 
 and when he found there was no hope of 
 his getting it now, or being paid at any 
 future period, (for Mrs. Fawnwell de- 
 clared " she was a ruined woman, as all 
 her savings had been put out at interest 
 by her husband to a person in London, 
 of whose name she was ignorant, as she 
 had trusted every thing to Fawnwell's 
 management,") he grew quite outrageous,
 
 212 SCHEMING. 
 
 and as little resembled the bowing, 
 smirking dealer of the preceding half 
 hour, as the commanding husband re- 
 sembles the obliging lover of a few wrecks 
 before !
 
 SCHEMING. 213 
 
 CHAPTER XIV 
 
 Very shortly afterwards all the goods 
 which remamed in iNIrs. Fawnw^ell's shop 
 were sold, to pay the again smirking Bris- 
 tol dealer, and the other creditors ; and 
 nothing being left for the support of the 
 deserted matron, she found herself under 
 the necessity of seeking a service. She 
 w^as resolved, however, to seek it in some 
 distant county, as her Welch blood could 
 not brook the idea of being subject to 
 the scorn and pity of the very people, 
 to whom she had so lately been an object 
 of envy. So putting up all she possessed
 
 214 SCHEMING. 
 
 ill a handkerchief, she took a seat in the 
 Loudon mail, and on her arrival in the 
 metropolis contrived to get the place of 
 housekeeper in a tradesman's family, 
 where, as she was required to do little 
 but keep the keys, scold the maids, and 
 take care that they did not intrigue 
 with the shopmen, she was tolerably 
 happy for many years, until her master 
 unfortunately happened to die ; just too, 
 when he was preparing, as he said, to 
 begin to live ! that is, he had realised 
 the exact sum on which he had fixed 
 his mind, and having purchased a place 
 on the road side, near Canterbury, called 
 Hop-pole Hall, he had named the fol- 
 lowing Saturday, as the day on which 
 he meant to bid adieu to the profitable 
 delights of Cheapside. Mrs. Fawnwell
 
 SCHEMING. 215 
 
 was accordingly sent as an avant con- 
 riere to arrange every thing at the hall 
 for the reception of her master ; and with 
 directions to tell all the men, who drove 
 the different stages, that they should 
 receive handsome Christmas-boxes, if 
 they would always blow their horns as 
 they passed his door : " for," added the 
 Cit, " though I am now a gentleman, 
 and must begin to live at my country 
 house, yet I shall not like to be lone- 
 some, or dull : and take care how you 
 pack up that line of weal, don't let the 
 kidney be bruised, for I suppose ve shall 
 never get none so fat, nor so vliite, when 
 we leaves Lunnon ; no, no, Lunnon's the 
 place after all ; howsomever, as I'm now a 
 man of fortin, I must live like one, and 
 begin to be happy, and enjoy myself
 
 216 SCHEMING. 
 
 in rurality in the country, (here he sigh- 
 ed involuntarily) as other folk do: so 
 d'ye hear, Fawnwell, I'll dine at Hop- 
 pole Hall the day after to-morrow, and 
 let the line of weal be part of my 
 dinner." 
 
 Such was the. plan which the Citizen 
 had formed when his riches obliged him 
 to begin to be happy and enjoy himself. 
 But in this life all is vanity; — for in a 
 few hours after INIrs. Fawnwell had de- 
 parted to do as her master had directed, 
 he, poor man, was carried off by a fit of 
 apoplexy! — and thus was he prevented 
 from enjoying dust and rurality by the 
 London road-side, and the coachmen dis- 
 appointed of their Christmas-boxes ! 
 
 jNIrs. ra\\Tiwell, however, retained her 
 situation at the Hall, which she v.as
 
 SCHEMING. 217 
 
 desired by a letter from her late master's 
 only son to keep prepared for liis re- 
 ception, as he should visit it before the 
 shooting season. 
 
 Accordingly, one evening in the be- 
 ginning of August, a carriage of a 
 singular construction, drove up to the 
 door. It somewhat resembled the ca- 
 ravans which are used to convey wild 
 beasts from town to town, except that 
 it was open at top, that the inside 
 passengers might have a view of the 
 country they travelled through. In it 
 sat some pointers, several spaniels, and 
 two or three brace of greyhounds. It 
 was drawn by three horses, which were 
 driven by a young man, who sat on the 
 box dressed in a short sea et jacket, 
 faced with black; a cap, with feathers 
 and innumerable tassels hanging from it, 
 
 VOL. I. L
 
 218 SCHEMING. 
 
 adorned his head; and most tremendous 
 spurs were attached to his military boots, 
 for he was in actual service, having joined 
 nearly a fortnight, the attorneys' corps 
 of Light-horse, local, supplementary, 
 provisional, auxiliary, volunteers; — best 
 known by the appellation of the "Devil's 
 Own!" This equipage was followed by 
 a barouche, on one side of which sat a 
 handsome woman, whose feet occupied 
 the opposite seat. The extreme short- 
 ness of her petticoats displayed a pair 
 of white satin pantaloons, which just 
 reached to the embroidered coins a jour 
 of her rich silk stockings. By her lay a 
 highly ornamented tamborine, with gold 
 bells and bows of ribbon: and standing 
 up in the carriage, was a black boy, with 
 a tu :n and feathers, decorated with
 
 SCHEMING. 219 
 
 beads of various colours; iu one hand he 
 held a parasol to shade the sun (the 
 weather behig intensely hot) from the 
 lady's face, or rather from the paint with 
 which it was cased; with the other he 
 waved to and fro (to prevent the flies from 
 incommoding the same delicate person- 
 age) a gold stick, to which was fastened 
 a bunch of camel's hair. Two out-riders, 
 in green and silver, completed the ca- 
 valcade. 
 
 The loud double rap was answered by 
 Mrs. Fawnwel], who wished herself to 
 welcome her young master, whom she 
 had not often seen, for he had as seldom 
 as possible visited " old dad," as he styled 
 his father. But when to her astonished 
 sight appeared the above-described cor- 
 tege, vexed to think that she had made 
 L 2
 
 220 SCHEMING. 
 
 herself so sure, by the stopping of a car- 
 riage and the double rap, that her young 
 master was arrived, and much disap- 
 pointed instead of him, to see what she 
 supposed to be a set of show- folks, who 
 had been amusing the populace of Can- 
 terbury the preceding vveek, she cried 
 out, seeing them preparing to alight, 
 "you needn't trouble yourselves, good 
 people, we want none of your shows here, 
 the family is'n't at home: — 'Squu'e Hud- 
 derman lives a mile farther on, they'll 
 look at your jockeyship, I dares to say, 
 and see Dame Catherine and your t'other 
 beasts dance!" 
 
 " What the devil! is the old jade crazy?" 
 roared the young sporting attorney on 
 the box ; "don't you know me, old girl? — 
 hast run mad for grief because old dad's
 
 SCHEMING. 221 
 
 gone (lead, eh? — Why I'm his son, come 
 to stay here a week to kill game ; — so 
 trot in old girl, jump ahout, and send us 
 up dinner!" 
 
 By this time the whole party had 
 alighted, and were going to enter the house, 
 but they were prevented from so doing 
 by Mrs. Fawnwells hastily retreating, 
 and quickly locking the door after her. 
 She was so firmly persuaded by their 
 appearance, that they could only be ' show 
 folks,' that when she saw them preparing 
 to enter, she thought her best plan was 
 to fasten them out, as she imagined it very 
 probable they had heard that the Hall 
 was only inhabited by herself and one 
 maid-servant, and that they had formed 
 a plan to gain admittance for the purpose
 
 222 SCHEMING. 
 
 of robbing it. As to what the young 
 man had said about being her master, 
 she gave it not the smallest credit, for 
 certainly he would have been in mourning, 
 as his father had been dead only three 
 months. Besides, he would not drive 
 about like a merry-andrew : for she re- 
 collected the last time she got a glimpse 
 of him he was dressed as a sober, well- 
 disposed young man ought to be, in a 
 brown coat and corderoy breeches. She 
 did not know that Iiis plain clothes and 
 good manners were both put on for the 
 purpose of visiting his father to procure a 
 supply of 'the needful,' and that they 
 w^ere thrown off together, as soon as he 
 quitted Cheapside and returned to his 
 lodgings in King-street, St. James's. 
 The danciiig-W'Oman, too, with her In-
 
 SCHEMING. 223 
 
 dian -juggler-boy, and the tamborine, — 
 Oh ! beyond all doubt they were * show- 
 folks!' 
 
 In this belief, Mrs. Fawnwell having 
 fastened all the doors, looked out of an 
 upper window to see whether they were 
 gone, but they were still there, and again 
 began to rap violently. " You may as 
 well be quiet," she cried, quite enraged, 
 and much alarmed at their perseverance ; 
 " you may as well be quiet and take your- 
 selves and your dancing-dogs off, for by 
 St. Tavid you'll get no entrance here." 
 
 " Curse you," returned * the Devil's 
 Own volunteer,' "you old jade, you'd better 
 come down and open the door, and play 
 no more of your tricks, you old b — ; may 
 I never shoot flying if I don't kick you out
 
 224- SCHEMING. 
 
 of the house, neck and crop, the minute 
 I get in!" 
 
 During the disunite, the lady in the 
 white satin pantaloons, (who from her 
 pronunciation should he a Frenchwo- 
 man,) had often hegged '•' the Capital n^' 
 would return to Canterhury, until the 
 old woman was sent out of the house. 
 Indeed she seemed much agitated hv the 
 altercation, and particularly anxious to 
 escape from the w^ar of w^ords. 
 
 " 3Ion dieuf she said, " for why 
 will you stand licre for talk to dis 
 woman, when you see I am like to 
 die I am so fres fatigue? for why 
 you want to go in ? I vil no go into 
 ^^ 3/<7/>o;? while that mcchante femmc 
 is there : Oh ! Mon clieu ! she is so 
 very terreehle! if T am keep near hiCr
 
 SCHEMING. 225 
 
 one petit moment longer I will expire I" 
 She then leaned back, and really ap- 
 peared as if she was going to faint. 
 She took care, however, to make her 
 page hold the parasol betw^een her and 
 the exasperated housekeeper; to keep 
 off the sun, as she said ; though the 
 dandy sportsman, thinking she suffered 
 from its ardent rays, frequently re- 
 quested her to allow the parasol to 
 be held on the other side ; which w^as 
 really exposed to the sun, whereas 
 that on which she had stationed her 
 page w^as completely shaded by the 
 house itself; — a circumstance which pro- 
 bably escaped the observation of the 
 frightened fair, as she persisted in 
 having the parasol kept in its primi- 
 tive position. Her die)' ajni, much 
 L 5
 
 226 SCHEMING. 
 
 distressed at the situation in which he 
 saw " his dear Madame la Cointcsse,'' 
 again loudly called for admittance, but 
 called in rain ; for iNIrs. Fawnwell, 
 more firmly convinced than ever that 
 they were imposters, continued obsti- 
 nate, and in her turn loaded them 
 with abuse, and bestowed with un- 
 bounded liberality several terms of re- 
 proach on the coins a jour lady; 
 terms, that w^ould have grievously of- 
 fended the ears of the pious Benjamin 
 Fawnwell, had he been there to hear 
 them. 
 
 In the midst of the dispute, and 
 just when the attendants in green and 
 silver, who had stood aloof enjoying 
 the distress of their master and m.is- 
 tress, (or, as they would have expressed
 
 SCHEMING. 227 
 
 it, their master's mistress,) were pro- 
 ceeding, by word of command given by 
 the bold volunteer to break open the 
 door, a travelling coach appeared in 
 sight, which Mrs. Fawnwell no sooner 
 espied, than knowing it to be her 
 late master's, and seeing that it was 
 drawn by his old bob-tailed horses, 
 and driven by Jonathan the coachman, 
 she supposed her yoimg master was 
 now coming in reality. But her sup- 
 positions she kept to herself, lest the 
 " shew folks" should make a precipitate 
 retreat, and thus escape the punish- 
 ment which she hoped would be in- 
 flicted on them. 
 
 In a few minutes the coach drove 
 up to the door, and then, IVIrs. Fawn- 
 well, thinking her victory secure, hast-
 
 228 SCHEMING. 
 
 ened dowii and opened it, crying " Why, 
 
 Jonathan, here's a set" astonish^ 
 
 ment prevented her proceeding, for slie 
 heard the coachman say " Lawk, Sir, 
 and didn't housekeeper know you? — 
 truly, — well, — it must be your Captain's 
 disguise, Sir, as has haltered you so." 
 
 With numberless courtesies and apolo- 
 gies, the now obliging housekeeper 
 advanced to the barouche to assist 
 '' 31ada?nela Covitesse'' to alight; but 
 that lady, instead of accepting her prof- 
 fered services, quickly snatched the 
 parasol out of her page's hand, and 
 kept it close to her face, between 
 herself and JMrs. Fawnwell, at the 
 same time declaring, " she would never 
 look upon such a terreeble feimne, and 
 that if the Capitaine did not send, her
 
 SCHEMING. 229 
 
 away on that moment, she v;ou]d not 
 go into his house." 
 
 " May I never shoot flying," he cried, 
 " if the cursed old hag is not off in 
 the puUing of a hair trigger ; so come 
 in my dear Madame la Comtesse, and 
 let 's look at old dad's house, and you, 
 you cursed old jade!" he added, turning 
 to the housekeeper, " he off — march — 
 begone — never let me see your ugly 
 old phys again. — Why don't you go you 
 ugly old witch? — may I always miss 
 fire if I don't set my dogs at you, 
 you old jade ! Here, Fly ! jNIusic ! 
 Swift ! Fury ! at her ])oys ! at her ! 
 halloo! halloo! halloo!!" 
 
 In vain ]Mrs. Fawnwell attempted 
 to remonstrate, her voice was lost in the 
 noise that was made by the dogs and
 
 230 SCHEMING. 
 
 their master, who continued hallooing 
 them at the apologizing housekeeper ; 
 until she at length found the safest thing 
 she could do, was to take leave, with- 
 out waiting for her wages or boxes, 
 which " The Devil's Own" said " sliould 
 be trundled after her." 
 
 While she remained at Canterbury, 
 some recruits going to join the — th 
 regiment passed through that city on 
 their way to D — — : by chance one of 
 them mentioned in her hearing, its be- 
 ing commanded by the Hon. Colonel 
 Brayforth : it directly struck Mrs. Fawn- 
 well, that he was the person who had 
 taken off her niece iive-and-twenty 
 years before, and she thought it a good 
 opportunity of enquiring what had be- 
 come of " little Moll Jenkins.' Her
 
 SCHEMING. 231 
 
 surprise was great, at finding her niece 
 was now the Hon. Mrs. Brayforth ; 
 but if her surprise was great, her joy was 
 greater. " Now," she thought, " I need 
 give myself no more trouble, I can live 
 the rest of my life comfortably with 
 her, for to be sure she will be glad to 
 give me a house now I have n't one, 
 for didn't I give her one when she 
 wanted one ? " 
 
 She therefore wrote immediately to 
 her niece, telling her all her misfor- 
 tunes. A¥hen Maiia Brayforth, (for 
 slie had refined her baptismal name,) 
 received her letter beginning " dear 
 Molly," she was much shocked at hear- 
 ing she had an " affectionate aunt" so 
 near her, and at first thought she had 
 better disclaim all knowledge of the
 
 2S2 SCHEMING. 
 
 writer: but a few moments' reflection 
 convinced her, that, by so doing, she 
 should only make public the thing in the 
 world she most dreaded, namely, that 
 she was related to her; for she was sure 
 the exasperated Cambrian matron would 
 spare no reproaches, if she did not re- 
 ceive an answer such as she expected. 
 IMrs. Brayforth then, as her safest 
 plan, drove over herself to Canter- 
 bury, and behaved with the utmost 
 kindness to Mrs. Fawnwell, when no 
 third person was present. She told her. 
 Colonel Brayforth had married her on 
 condition that she never took notice of 
 any of her own relations, or allowed 
 her children to have any knowledge of 
 them. " Thus," continued this affec- 
 tionate kins woman, " you see, my dear
 
 SCHEMING. 233 
 
 aunt, 'tis impossible for me to acknow- 
 ledge you, and to behave to you as I 
 should wish ; but all I have in my power 
 I'll do to make you comfortable ; my two 
 youngest daughters are soon coming 
 home from school; I must get a proper 
 person to walk out with them, and take 
 care of them, and all that ; it will be just 
 what I should think would suit you. 
 The Colonel I'm sure will never remem- 
 ber you, and as your name is changed, I 
 think I run little risk in taking you ; at 
 all events, ^ cut key cut,' as Silly says 
 in French, I'll run the risk for your 
 sake, and make my derangements ac- 
 cordingly." 
 
 Much more conversation passed be- 
 tween them; and Mrs. Brayforth, after 
 having obtained a promise that nothing
 
 234 SCHEMING. 
 
 should induce her aunt to discover that 
 she was any thing more than what she 
 should represent her to be, — a governess 
 
 for the young ladies — returned to D , 
 
 highly pleased with the arrangements 
 she had made; and sat ruminating in 
 her well-cushioned carriage how much 
 she might be a gainer by the event ; as 
 her aunt had told her she had realised a 
 little money, that at different times she 
 could easily borrow from her; besides, 
 had she taken a stranger for the children, 
 she must have given her vv^ages ; whereas, 
 now she took Mrs. Fawnwell out of 
 friendship and to accommodate her, 
 there was no necessity to mention any 
 thing of the kind. 
 
 When this friendly lady arrived at 
 home, she mentioned in a careless man-
 
 SCHEMING. 235 
 
 iier, her having met with a person who 
 had formerly lived with her, and who 
 had fallen into rather distressed circum- 
 stances ; adding, " So, though I am not 
 in immediate want of such a one, I've 
 taken her ; so when Matilda and Sophia 
 come home, she'll look to them." 
 
 In a fevv^ days Mrs.Fawai^vell arrived, 
 to enter on her new line of life, and to 
 taste of the sweets and comforts wiiich 
 fall to the lot of those, who in re- 
 duced circumstances, instead of taking 
 refuge with strangers, are so fortunate as 
 to be taken in, by kind and friendly 
 relations. 
 
 END OF VOL. I.
 
 PRIMED BY S. & R. BENTLEY, DORSET-sTREET, 
 
 Salisbury-Square, London.
 
 ,^NI VERSITY OF ILLINOIS-URBANA 
 
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