!i'

.i".'

YALE UNIVERSITY
LIBRARY

THE

Englishman in China.

Mlf " HOY."

THE

EnP'lishman in China.
Ill ~

LONDON:
SAUNDERS, OTLEY, AND CO.,
50, CONDUIT STREET, HANOVER SQUARE.
i860.

IThe ri/jhl of translation i.^ rcspnrd ]

HUM

JVith unalterable Affection these pages are Inscribed
to
G. E. B.

PREFACE.

It having been suggested to me that the
present, when our minds are naturally en
grossed upon the stirring events going for-
Avard in China, is a happy one to give some
account of the Inner Life (f our j!!/m>pean
Residents, I have culled from a friend's let
ters — written during nearly four years' stay
in the Celestial Empire — such portions as
seemed to me most interesting. To these
I have added his small Sketches, Avliich,
being only pen-and-ink in the body of his
letters, illustrative of what he was describing,
can lay little claim to artistic skill.
Whilst curtailing many portions, I have
necessarily been obliged to make some Icav
additions, which are now respectfully offered
by one who claims to himself no other credit
than that of being THE COMPILEK.
Juhj, 1800.

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.

rAOR

FRONTISPIECE — MY " BOY"

iv

CEYLON BOAT 

II

THE " CAT " 

12

NINGPO BEDSTEAD ....

28

CIRCULAR BEDSTEAD ....

29

EARTHENWARE BATH ....

29

SEDAN CHAIR 

46

CHAIR-BEARERS 

52

COOLY COIFFURES ....

53

maiden's head-dress

55

CHINA V. ENGLAND .

56

CHEVEUX-DE-FRISE ....

58

LITTLE PIGTAILS ....

59

child's CAP .....

60

PLAYING IN THE MUD

61

LAUDER, BOATMAN, COOK, AND BOY .

¦ 63

A SAIL UP THE CREEK

. 69

SMALL PAGODA, KARDING .

73

CORMORANT FISHING ....

• 75

NISING 

78

A SQUALL ON THE RIVER .

79

boat's mast . . . .

82

BRIDGE AT SOONGKONG

83

NEAR THE HILLS ....

85

JAR DOORWAY .....

88

BOTTLE WINDOW ....

89

TRACERY 

89

List of Llliistrations.

PAOE

" PUNCH" -•  9Q

APPLE DOORWAY

• 91
SUMMER-HOUSE .
92
NEW year's CARD
. 103
"FO"
104
UMBRELLA AND GONG
. 107
ROMAN HELMET .
109
LANTERN BEARER
JIG
JOSS-PAPER
III
OPIUM PIPE
118
LOB-LOB CHAIR .
127
PAJAMAS ....
¦ 131
SANPAN
• 144
SAWING WOOD
• 155
FROM A TO n
. 169
SHANGHAI TO NANG YIE
• 175
A " QUANG "...
. 180
CHINESE PIPES .
. 181
SWORD FROM SOOCHOW
• 183
POLICEMAN
• 194
LADY, ARMA, AND BABY
• 197
CHINESE LADY .
• 199
SMALL SHOE
. 200
CANTON GIRL
. 202
JOSS-HOUSE HILL
. 217
FLAT COUNTRY .
222
PIG MARKET, SOOCHOW
. 242
UNE BELLE
• 245
EXECUTION
_ •
• 255
OUR BRIDGES
269
TAIL-PIECE
. 272
The
Englishman in China.

I HAVE reached Alexandria, and, although
very sleepy and tired, I have courageously
seated myself, to give you the benefit of some
of my " useful knowledge," as well as to reply
to your few lines via Marseilles, which have
accompanied me from Malta. If I only
keep up the charter, all the years I am away,
as well as this* you will have to admit, a7nico
mio, that I am indeed a respectable corre
spondent. But the fact is, I have found
through life that an absentee's best chance
of hearing from home is to write often him
self. I have sketched out a plan, which I

2 The Englishman in China.
trust being able to follow, viz., to write to
you by each opportunity my notions of, and
my conversations with, those amongst whom
I am thrown. Perhaps I am starting on
too large a scale; of this we shall be able
to judge later. You remember my motto
was always "Audentes fortuna juvat" — " Faint
heart never did," &c. So to work — allons !
I am seated in a large square room of some
thirty feet in size, opening into a large draw
ing-room, that again into other apartments;
whilst the other door leads to passages, bed
rooms, and servants' offices. "Darkey" is
laying the cloth, a fire is blazing in the grate,
for the days, though bright, are yet chilly;
the sunset is lighting up the large square.
Tired camels are lazily toiling along; don
key boys rushing at the new arrivals, with
"Here, sar, mine good donkey," "Speak all
right Inglis," and similar expressions, are
endeavouring to obtain customers. Open
carriages are returning, after showing the

" The girl I left behind me." 3
passengers for India all the lions ; and last,
not least, the residents are fighting for their
letters, up in the corner yonder, at the small
post-office window.
After leaving your good honest old face on
the jetty at Southampton; when your last
¦words could no longer be heard — when your
pocket-handkerchief was no more to be seen
—when -we rounded the corner, with very
dim eyes, — that abominable brass band we
had shipped, not content with " Home, sweet
home," struck up " The girl I left behind
me." Then it was that the separation was
most felt, — that indescribable sensation of
loneliness. How you seem to hate any one
who says by your sid6, " Well, there's the
last of Old England ; I wonder when we
shall any of us see her shores again " ! Then
comes the dinner ; every one is courageous
the first day, so every one dines. Then, and
only then, the ladies, who were sure they
¦would be ill, discover themselves to be re
markably good sailors.
b2

4 The Englishman in China.
Daily the motion of the ship thinned our
ranks, until it became evident to the ste^wards
that one table was enough. I was in a very
agreeable set, and long shall I remember
that voyage in the Lndus, and the kind
old captain. It was by far the best part of
my long, long journey.
I think T shall stay about a month in
Egypt, and then on, on, on to the " Flowery
Land." As this will be the first letter you
will receive, and as it, I suppose, will be
"handed the round," I shall not only make
it long, but shall keep it open, so as to be
able to dot down the voyage.
You would be sadly disappointed, I fear,
with the thoroughly English appearance of
things. Your eastern ¦visions would melt
away at hearing and seeing what I have
heard and seen, — to be told the right direc
tion, in your own language, by some " bearded
black," or to see " Bass's India Pale Ale sold
here." The large square has a tall column
in the centre, round which cluster dirty chil-

Off to Cairo ! 5
dren, half black by nature, half brownish,
stone colour, by dust.
Allons! the train is off; and in company
•with two passengers — Government officials, by
their dress (who smoke cigarettes, and eat
sour oranges, all the way) — we perform our
journey to Cairo's city, getting a bad apology
for a dinner, and a good bottle of bitter beer
at the " half-way house."
I think I hear you exclaim, "But what
have you done with yourself all this fort
night ? "
' Done ! I've done all that is to be done;
seen all the lions, from " Pombey's Pillar " to
an Arab village ; been to two picnics, three
balls, and dined out every night. If that
list does not fill up a very decent amount
of labour for one individual, tell me what
does ! — Well, here we are at Cairo.
After all, I feel as if it were horrid twad
dle on my part, writing the history of an Over
land Route, when you for a shilling can learn
all about it at the Gallery of Illustration

6 The Englishman in China.
However, it may add another proof, were
that wanting, of the truthfulness of that ex
hibition. Of course — yes, I may say of course —
I took a Turkish bath, was pommelled, and
pinched, and punched ; enjoyed it amazingly ;
neither lost my watch nor my rings ; slept
like a top after it ; and started next morning
for the Pyramids. Up these, lugged by two
Arabs, went your humble servant ; and, thanks
to our good training and his long legs, he
flatters himself that 8^- minutes was no bad
time to do it in. There at the bottom are
two small black specks, not so large as your
hand — my two travelling companions, a lady
and gentleman, who would not ascend. Fancy
me on the top of the largest Pyramid.
After cutting her name on the stone, I
light my pipe, and descend, — much harder
work than ascending.
Mosquitoes, Mosques, Mummies, Mina
rets, and Madmen — for truly the dancing
dervishes come under the last title. Poor

The Desert. 7
creatures ! I saw two of them, after having
bowed some hundreds of times, frantically
rush, head first, against the stone wall. One
poor wretch did it three or four times ; the
other made so good a shot that he smaslied
his head the first time, and fell senseless on
the floor. " Comme its sont drdles, n'est-ce pas,
Monsieur f " said a young French lady who
was one of a party visiting the show at the
same time as myself. " Degoiltants," I thought,
would have been a better word.
The railway, hereafter to run from Cairo
to Suez, will deprive travellers of very much,
— of treats such as one can fancy admirers of
the "good old days" must have found in coach
travelling. In nasty, fusty, cramped-up, little
covered carts, you are conveyed across the
Desert, stopping to change (what are meant
for) horses at the different dirty little j)ost-
houses erected at certain distances. Oh,
that awful twelve hours' misery! I can
remember but one such other journey, and
that was travelling at night, in the middle of

8 TIte Englishman in China.
winter, on the top of a diligence from Bour-
deaux to Pau without a great-coat.
But everything has an end, and here we
are at Suez, where you have the luxury of
paying a guinea per day for bad food, a
double-bedded room, hard soap, and very
little water.
Here are all the passengers by the mail,
which left a month after me. Here I join
them, and together we go on board the fine
ship Alma, which is getting up steam in —
THE Red Sea ! That Red Sea of which
we've read so much, and talked so often.
We conjure up Pharaoh immediately, not
that he appears though. Let us go down to
the water's edge.
"And is this reallij and truly the Red
Sea?" exclaims a lady. "Good gracious me!
Are you not joking, Mr, Jones ? Why, it's a
most heavenly Blue !" Wait a few days, and
perhaps you'll wish you'd never seen this same
sea; for, although it is winter, you will dis
cover that, be it ever so beautiful, you will

Aden. 9
have a certain distaste to being some length
of time without air, or that, when you do
happen to-'get a slight puff, it reminds you
forcibly of a lucifer match which has just been
ignited under your nose.
But for smoking, sleeping, yawning, read
ing, and flirting, what place can excel the
deck of the fine steamer which takes you
down the Red Sea? Many and many a
queer tale could those decks and that awning
tell, I should fancy.
Dirty, calcined Aden, — true coaling sta
tion! Down to the beach come pouring a
, herd of donkeys and their attendant boys, —
red-headed niggers, with nothing on. For
give me, I am wrong. We used to laugh, I
remember, at straps and a shirt collar form
ing one's dress. But what would you say
were you to see these coppery fellows, whose
only garment consists of a quantity of soft red
mud plastered on their heads?
"Avoid the donkeys and take a horse," was
the advice of a friend who knew the place
B 3

lo The Englishman in China.
well. So, accompanied by him, I rode up to
the camp, and a very pleasant ride it was
after the monotony of the voyage. Some
old Parsees sold us some lemonade, and we
returned to tho ship after playing a couple of
games at pool in the small hotel at Aden.
Picture to yourself, my dear fellow, my feel
ings when, on entering my cabin, I disco
vered some one, before leaving, had opened my
window: everything was covered with the very
finest coal-dust, about half an inch deep —
water, tooth, nail, and hair brushes, — clothes,
bed, — everything. Oh, the dirt of that horrid
A den !
One would imagine it an allwise provision
of nature, that, after so barren a place as
Aden, the eye should next light on the lovely
island of Ceylon, — so green, so bright, the
beautiful foliage waving to and fro, — kissing
the bright blue waters at its feet, and covered
by so pure a canopy above. Traveller as you
know me to be, I can image to myself no
such sight or none such pleasurable emotions

Ceylon.

1 1

as those sustained by eye and heart on first
seeing Ceylon. Nor were there wanting ac
cessories to fill up the picture — a magnificent
tiger plunged in from some neighbouring
jungle, and quietly took a swim, as we lay at
anchor. And now dash up alongside the quaintest
little boats you ever saw, and which I can
only describe by requesting you to take a
large London wherry ; attach to this boat, by
two long poles of about ten feet in length, a
gigantic " ca<," such as the street boys use :
this cat should be as long as the boat, and
about four feet thick in the middle. This
skiff is apparently formed of bark, and is
paddled by one, or sometimes two men.
Here is an end view : —

OETLON BOAT.

12

The Englishman in China.

I confess to having overfed ray nigger in
the sketch.
Here's another, for two men ; and perhaps
will give you a better idea. Does it not
look like a captured whale ? —

These logs are to steady them, as such
'"racy craft" would never otherwise live in
these seas.
Into one of these, then, I tumbled, accom
panied by my portmanteau, which I was only
too happy to fill with employment for the
laundress, despite the assurance that I should
lose it, it would be too late, &c., &c., &c. —
1 took these suggestions for what they were
worth, and went by the advice of "old
stagers," especially as the other steamer had

Ltome. I J
not yet arrived to take us on. The natives
all chew the betel nut, which makes their
teeth black, and their lips vermilion colour.
After a lapse of ten days, I resume my
letter, sitting on deck under the awning
before dinner. Home thoughts — home,
dear home titles — spring up before me.
Dearer do they become the further you
recede from them, and as broad waters after
broad waters separate from you all who are
most cherished and dearest to you.
There ! I sujipose you will pick that little
])iece of sentiment to pieces, and, after laughing
fit me, discover I have used all three forms
of " dear." Well, it cannot be helped ; so on
with the tale ! —
On the 7th, in the afternoon, we stepped
on board the Noma, and found ourselves
most dreadfully crowded. Nine or ten of
our China party, the French Plenipo and
his wife, — by the bye, did I mention them
before ? I think not, — and their servant, or
rather hers (a Mademoiselle Celeste, with

14 'The Englishman in China.
a pretty face, very pretty little waist, a pair
of sky-blue boots, et Vair triste — charmante,
n'est-ce pas f ) Besides these, there were a
quantity of Spaniards, — so that, altogether,
we were crammed ; but this would have
been bearable but for the smell of opium.
Unaccustomed as I am to it, it has made me
feel quite ill.
Did T praise Point de Galle, which is called
the Garden of the East? What can I say
then for lovely Penang? You must remem
ber I had no time to go to Colombo, or much
into the interior, while at Ceylon ; but at the
little island of Penang I saw all that was
to be seen — ay, and even had a most deli
cious bathe in the waterfall.
Next we stopped at Singapore ; and here,
for the first time, I met with the real pig
tails, if I except two Chinese servants on
board the Noma, and five men who man
the captain's gig. They all seem a quiet,
inoffensive lot, and one can hardly believe in
the stories we hear of their treachery. At

Pidgin-Eiglish. 1 5
Singapore I went to church: you have no
idea how strange it seemed, — the church,
with its four white walls, every person in
muslin, and large punkahs working backwards
and forwards to cause a cool breeze to circu
late. The Chinese here speak English very
well, and appear better educated : at least, I
of course say what I hear, as, as yet, I have
not had an opportunity of deciding.
Two old Chinamen (European residents,
who, having been home, are now returning to
China) sit one on either side of me at dinner,
keeping me in one continual state of asto
nishment at their language towards the native
servants on board, to whom they speak
"pidgin-English." As yet I am quite unable
to make out what they say (to their great
amusement, by the bye) when asking the
"boys" (for these servants, like our post
boys, are always " boys ") for anything. They
tell me I shall soon learn how to speak that,
but never Chinese — this I am very sorry to
hear, but, at all events, I shall have a try.

1 6 The Englishman in China.
At Singapore, the local editor collects,
while we wait, all the heads of the European
news, and prints it in what is called "The
Straits Times." These are in great demand,
I am told, in Hongkong and in the other
ports, as they give the summary at once,
whilst the newspapers are often some hours
before they are delivered to the respective
applicants. Picture to yourself my feelings at hearing
a sound issuing from a window close by the
editor's office, and that sound H****a's
piece de resistance, " The Carnival of Venice,"
— think of that. It rooted me to the spot.
The fingers rattled over the keys, then
stopped, then recommenced, and this time
accompanying a most heavenly voice (at least
it seemed so to me) to the never-to-be
forgotten Lia donna e mobile ! I went back
to the ship a happier man.
We expect to be in Hongkong to-morrow.
It has been blowing great guns, so much so
that I can hardly write these few lines. Yet

The Mangosteen. 1 7
through it all there, on deck, sits Madame
B  , smoking an enormous Regalia cigar,
her husband and two or three gentlemen
doing the like thing around her. I have
just left their agreeable society to dot down
something I had forgotten. I omitted to
mention that it was at Penang we tasted
the mangosteen. This fruit, which is so justly
celebrated for its exquisite flavour, is certainly
most delicious. It somewhat resembles a
horse-chestnut with the green case on, but
without the prickles, — in fact, in its young
state. Upon opening \, this you discover a
small, roundish white substance. So far for
its appearance. Now I fear I am at fault
how to convey to you a description of its
flavour. I'll tell you what I heard one of my
companions say when asked for his opinion
(he was an American), —
" Wal, look'ee here, I do expect, as I
knows what I likes best, but I am bound
to say this licks it into shivers ; howsomever,
I've no manner of doubt we could grow
better down our way."

i8 The Englishman in China.
At Singapore we purchased large baskets-
ful of bananas, or plantains. These we
hung in festoons along the ship's side, and
picked them as we wished ; but I am sorry to
say that they are long all gone. Melons we
get at dessert on board.
At last we have landed at Hongkong. We
arrived yesterday about half-past one p.m.
A gun was fired, a flag hoisted, the anchor
dropped, and we were in the harbour of
Victoria, Hongkong, surrounded by boats,
private and for hire, to conduct the pas
sengers to the shore. I am seated up in my
room scribbling off these last few lines in
order to post this my first letter to you ; but
before closing I must tell you how we were
served before arriving. At six a.m. yester
day I heard, " By the deep sea, 47 !" So,
slipping on my coat, I ran up on deck. It
was a cold bleak morning, and the blue rocks
were just visible in the distance. The captain
and first officer were in deep conversation.
'> Heave again ! " said the former. " By the

The Rope cut. \ 9
deep, 47 ! " was the reply. To first officer —
"Just look at it, and throw yourself, Mr.
 ." Answer returned — "By the deep,
49, sir ! " The line is hauled up and exa
mined, and behold, twenty-two fathoms have
been cut off, so that we were running in
27 fathoms, and nearing the rocks. At this
moment numberless piratical-looking little
boats are seen hovering about. The thing is
clear — it has been done by some Chinaman
during the night. Which ? The fastening to
the lead (where the cut was made) has not
been done by a sailor : it must have been one
of two poor half-starved devils of Chinese
passengers we brought from Singapore.
They are to be confined, and inquiries
instituted. Though we are but in the month of Feb
ruary, the weather is such as we are some
times without even at the end of May in
England,' — the sun brightly shining, and
¦with warmth in its touch, too. There is one
unceasing banging of gongs, propitiating Joss

20 Tlie Englishman in China.
previous to taking a trip. The harbour looks
very pretty : its quaint parti-coloured junks,
its private sailing and native rowing boats,
all lend picturesqueness to the scene, whilst
our noble frigate, the guard ship, looks
proudly down upon all the rest as she rides
quietly at anchor. Backed by the grand
Victoria Peak, with its companion range of
hills ending in blue lines, these, together
with those on the opposite coast, on which
the afternoon sun is throwing a golden hue,
all seem to join in making one large lake.
I wonder where I came in ; I can see
neither entrance nor exit. And yet, if I go
into the middle of the harbour, both are
quite distinct. To the left, as I sail round
the harbour, is Government House, up high
on the hill ; and lower, the Law Courts.
Descend still, and you enter the cathedral' —
I was there yesterday. Let us follow the
road, and we come to the " ILappy valley"
where the races are run. Fancy, my friend !
we have our race-horses, ay, and our stud

Street Bogs, 21
grooms out from England. What will not
Englishmen do to carry with them their
national tastes ?
The other day I saw a match : one of
the results of the races, which I had ar
rived just too late to witness. I suppose I
need scarcely tell you that the race resulted
in the defeat of one ; — but which horse, to
whom it belonged, or any of the particulars,
I have been here too short a time to ascer
tain. Boys play about here, just as John
Leech's do in " Punch," and in the London
streets, and imitate les gamins de Paris. I
am sure that they slang the passer-by in
the same way, though I do not understand
what they say; their looks show that they
are up to mischief. A Chinese does every
thing precisely differently to any one else.
These boys play at battledore and shuttle
cock with their feet, read from right to
left, and wear white for deep mourning.
With Hongkong, though a fine place, I
am, I confess, rather disappointed ; and this

22 17ie Englishman in China.
feeling is not lessened by the remarks I
hear on all sides. If I praise anything, no
matter what, I am told directly, " Ah ! but
you should see them at Shanghai " — so that,
when I have been here a few days longer, I
intend going up there, especially as the hot
¦weather is coming on, and, the houses being
all built closely together, there is even now
not a breeze to be had — what will it be
then ? — added to which, the Victoria Hill
keeps away all the sea air.
By the bye, one Dr. B  , of the
Peninsular and Oriental Company, has been
to the top I don't know how many times, in
I cannot say how short a space of time, for
a wager, I am fearful to trust myself to
say of what fabulous amount. It is reported
that he kept a servant on the look-out with
a telescope, and as soon as he (the Doctor)
became visible, the kettle was put on, a bath
made ready, and the pedestrian had hardly
touched level land before he had had a bathe,
a rub down, a restorative, and was halfway

Poisoning in LLong Kong. 23
up the hill again. Mind ! — not having seen all
this, I must leave you to believe what you
like. Be all this as it may, I can positively
assert that I have made two distinct trials to
get to the top, and have not reached half
way. And yet I used to be able to step
out. As to the poisoning affair : — Several persons
were made very ill, but none died, the poison
having been administered in so large a quan
tity as to act merely as a violent emetic.
With regard to the Thistle and Queen
steamers, those cases were different. In the
former, the captain, one seaman, and two
passengers were killed ; in the latter, one
passenger wounded, who, I believe, jumped
overboard with a chair, by means of which
he kept himself afloat until picked up. How
ever, in my opinion, if people will risk their
lives in these little steamers, manned by
natives, for the sake of saving two dollars,
whilst proper and safe escorts are provided
for them, they have themselves only to

24 The Englishman in China.
blame. I believe, however, the Chinese
passengers will in future be caged.
Last night a fire broke out on the other
side of the island, and partially, if not wholly,
destroyed our military barracks. This, of
course, is placed to the credit side of the
Celestials. Until I arrived they (the Euro
pean inhabitants) had been all under arms,
keeping watch day and night, turn by turn.
It is said it was dangerous to pass through
the streets after dusk, and one gentleman
tells me that on two occasions, whilst shaving,
a ball whistled over his head and struck the
ceiling. I have attempted to get a servant (each
person keeps his " boy "), but I am advised to
wait until I go north, as they are just as
numerous, and I should only have to pay
his passage-money, without his being of the
slightest use to me, as they are invariably ill
on the voyage. I have seen josses, temples,
and other wonders ; but as, during my stay
in the northern ports, I shall have oppor-

On board the _" Erin." 25
tunities of viewing and comparing many
more, I propose postponing my accounts of
them till a future opportunity. Hongkong
I have begun to dislike since I commenced
this letter. I see that one must be a resident
to appreciate it, and many of these even call
it " the  ." Never mind : I won't in
flict hard words upon you. Suffice it to say
that it has reference to an elderly gentleman,
and that apparatus on which chops are gene
rally cooked.

I am writing this on board the Erin, a
little steamer which is taking me to
Shanghai. Disgusted with Hongkong, I
started on a sudden, et me voila ! Gutzlaff
passed, we anchor at Woosung. Boats flock
to the sides. A gentleman offers me a sail
up to Shanghai. c

¦ 26 Tlie Englishman in China.
"But I have a quantity of luggage,"
say I.
" So have I, and so have some friends
who accompany me," replies he ; and in ten
minutes we are seated, four of us, round a
little stove, in a cabin 14 feet by 10, by 8
high, or thereabouts. An hour elapses, and
I go on deck, and through the drizzling
rain see Shanghai. We anchor, I jump
into a smaller boat, and land. All seems
strange and new, — a long row of fine houses,
a river, and fields, all different to what I
expected. I take a hot bath, dine, and ha\e
just time to close this for the English mail,
which will leave at daylight in the morning.
Adieu !
* " Guess I'm fixed at last^" as our Trans-

* Many following letters which I received were such
as would prove quite uninteresting to my readers. I
have skipped over the next five or six months, and we
must now look upon the writer as being " well up to the
collar." His descriptions, it is to be hoped, contain
more of incident. — Compiler.

My Rooms. 27
atlantic go-ahead friends would say. And
many thanks to you for so kindly sending
me all my things. My rooms are now very
comfortable, owing partly to your kind care,
and the advice of friends as to my selection
of things here. You would be amused to
see me as I sit writing this up in my rooms.
Let me first describe them. The bed-room
is 19 feet square, with two doors, one
opening into the passage, the other to a
sitting-room, 14 feet by 16, and, like the
bed-room, 16 feet in height. This again
passes into a bath-room, which I make a
sort of dressing-room as well. Both the bed
and sitting-rooms open, with French windows
up to the ceiling, onto a verandah, which
runs almost all round the house.
First, then, here is my bedstead ; it has
come from Ningpo. It is semicircular, of
light-coloured wood, inlaid with ivory carv
ings. These bedsteads are made at this
place only. It rests on a stand, with sup
ports, still inlaid with ivory. The design is
c 2

2 8 TIte Englishman in China.
sometimes that of war, at others peace.
The bed and mosquito curtains, you will
see by my sketch, are each placed " to look

NINGPO BEDSTEAD.

pretty." Really the whole makes a very
nice-looking ornament in a room, especially
as our " boys " always fold up the bed-linen
in. such neat order that it looks quite in keep
ing with the whole, besides making a sofa in
the day-time. Here is a differently shaped
one, which stands in the next room : — ¦

Bedstead and Bath, 29

OIRODLAR BEDSTEAD.

Next here behold my bath-

EAETHENWARB BATH.

They are made of earthenware, colom-ed
green and brown, and ornamented with

JO Tlie Englishman in China.
horses, dragons, and other real and fabulous
animals, in white. They are filled and
emptied each morning, but of this by-and-
by, when I speak of household matters. In
some houses troughs of zinc are made, so that
by pulling out a plug you allow the soiled
water to pass outside the house down the
rain-pipe. Where this is not the case, the
cooly empties and refills it by hand. The
former, though, is by far the better plan, and
saves trouble as well as expense.
, Each person in the establishment has one
of these, and you in England little know the
necessity (luxury you would doubtless call
it) of such things. I have been taking two and
three a day, but find it only induces prickly
heat, and have therefore restrained myself to
one per diem.
A household, I should tell you, consists of
a Tipan, chief, or resident partner ; a Tzse-
Tzse, or Silk Inspector ; a Cha-see, or Tea-
taster; a Book-keeper, for whom I never
heard a Chinese title ; Servants, Cooks, Coo-

The Comprador. 31
lies, and last, not least, a Comprador. This
man is cashier; for be it known unto thee,
O Goth in these matters, that you never
carry money about with you, but, when wish
ing to pay for anything, write a cheque on the
Comprador, who pays the holder, and renders
you a monthly account of the same.
In some houses of business you find more
than one Tipan ; these are often changed,
that is, their houses "in the south" (Hongkong
and Canton) send up a partner for change of
air, in exchange for the one at Shanghai.
The next three individuals — who are more
commonly and very vulgarly known by the
cognomens of grub, expectorator, and books — <
are waging continually a warfare of prece
dence. Now, naturally, each party fancying
himself better than his neighbour, looks down
upon him ; though, if we look upon it in a
monetary point of view, they certainly stand
in the order I have placed them.
The Comprador is the next important per
sonage in my list. He is generally either a

32 The Englishman in China.
Canton or Singapore Chinaman. Should he
be the latter, you may depend on his dis-
honesty. He will read quite as well as you
or I, and make due use of his powers by
experimenting upon your ledgers and private
papers, thus availing himself of any hints
which may fall into his hands. Many of the
larger houses have extra clerks, some English
and some Portuguese, or rather, as they are
generally called, " Porty-gooses." These latter
are fine copyists, and in many cases write
excellent hands, without being able to undec^
stand what they are writing. In such " "*
droll mistakes occur. I remember lies^^^of
some bills of lading being filled i'Mtt^F ^®^y
valuable lot of sardines, when tl^a^ffi^d satins
represented the cargo. The e^^Hjwas, how
ever, fortunately discovered jiIistn|R time.
The cooks and their m^vtes are the dirtiest
set of creatures you ever beheld, and any one
wishing to go without his dinner has only to
look into their kitchens (which, gi'ace a Dieu,
are built away from the dwelling-house), and

Our Cooks. 23
I will guarantee his appetite being consider
ably lessened. And yet they can cook' capi
tally when they like, and really send up a very
pretty dinner. All the Chinese that I have
ever met with have a very strong liking to
nearly all our dishes, and delight in poking
their fingers into creams, &c., to test their
quality. I saw a group gathered round a
kitchen the other day, composed of the body-
servants of the establishment. They were
about to serve dinner, but, previously to doing
so, were assisting the chef with their opinions,
which, to judge from the arguments, appeared*
greatly divided. One suggested a little more
sugar, which being objected to on the part
of the cook, in went six brown fingers which
were duly sucked, and the maker of the deli
cacy was thrown out by a majority of 6 Ayes
to 1 No. I was turning away in disgust,
intending to favour these gentlemen with a
slight correction, when, hearing the subject
had not dropped, curiosity prompted me to
stay and hear the result unobserved. Cook,
c 3

34 Tlie Englishman in China.
having been so thoroughly beaten, of course
had to give in ; but now arose the question of
how much sugar. This was a knotty point,
which did not appear to have occurred to the
critics before ; however, the cook settled
it by gradually adding and adding, inquiring
after each spoonful " if that was enough for
them." Not only was this a very certain,
but a very pleasant way of untying the knot,
as it necessitated the dipping in of those six
judges' digits until the acme of perfection had
been gained, — a process requiring the dipping
and sucking of forty-two fingers, more or less
grubby, to arrive at the proper thing for their
master and his guests. It went to table, and
doubtless was tested. — N.B. " Where igno
rance is bliss, Sfc."
Turn we now to coolies, — I mean those
attached to your house. If we go by names,
we shall have plenty, — house-coolies, chair-
coolies, garden-coolies. Comprador's coolies,
office-coolies, lamp-coolies, bedroom-coo
lies, water-coolies, — in fact, ad libitum you

"Chits." 35
may go on enumerating them. But when
you sift the matter, it is different. If you
inquire for th^ lamp-cooly, it is just likely
a man will appear who, the next moment,
will say "Here!" to the title of water-cooly,
while, later in the day, he will be hard at
work sweeping and raking, having trans
formed himself into an impromptu garden-
cooly. Therefore, although in each house
at Shanghai we have, as in all Eastern coun
tries, crowds of servants, yet it often occurs
that a cooly receives a title which is only
honorary, and caused by his present occu
pation. These men are our postmen. The term
letter, or note, is unknown, and replaced by
that "of chit. On the chit you stamp the
name of the hong to which it is going, in
Chinese, with small wooden blocks provided
for the purpose, just as our post-offices stamp
in red. To insure the safe delivery of
your "chit," you keep a chit-book, in which
you enter the date and the name of the

26 Tlie Englishman in China.
person to whom you are writing; and woe
betide that cooly who returns to you with
the book unsigned by the recipient !
"OuK Boys!" Here I have a wonderful
theme to dwell upon, and we arrive at some
of the most important personages to whom I
shall have the honour of introducing you.
Although they range from the age of 10 to
40, the most usual is about 20 years. I
should say the majority are Canton Chinamen,
though we find both Shanghai and Ningpo
men employed as body-servants. For my
own part, I unhesitatingly award the palm to
the Canton boys, so far as I have yet been
able to judge. All in this house are from
this part (Canton), while next door they
prefer Ningpo, saying that the former are
such rogues and thieves. True, I grant that
they are ; but what Chinaman is not deeply
imbued with the bump of acquisitiveness ? I
look upon it in this way : a Ningpo man is
not over clean at any time, certainly not
sharp, has perhaps a faint idea of the word

Our "Boys." 37
honesty ; and if there be five of his kind and
one Canton man in the house, the latter will
rule the rest. Look at the other side of the
picture. Your servant from the South is
beautifully clean in his clothes, and tolerably
in his person, sharp as a needle, very intelli
gent, and a thorough thief. Knowing that
he will rob you if he have but the chance,
you are on your guard at all times, and are
not lulled by the hope, as in the other case,
that he may be honest.
The servant I have now is a willing fellow,
named Aquong. This young gentleman
stands about five feet six, aged nineteen, and
has a lurking devil about his eye; and stands
and cracks all the joints in his hands when
you are talking to him. He is plump, and, if
anything, gives you the idea of the plough-
boy rather than the valet. However, as I
do not care for the trouble of changing, I
keep him on. Twice during the last month
I have kicked him out, and twice he has
asked my pardon and been taken back. The

38 The Englishman in China.
third time he must go. But the rascals know
the bother that we have in getting another
and take advantage of it. The duties of your
boy consist in looking after your room, dust
ing it, &c., taking care of your linen and
clothes, serving you at table, standing behind
your chair all the time, and attending upon
you solely. So particular are they on this
point that, should your neighbour, from some
cause or other, not have brought his servant,
no other will attend upon him ; and if you
even say to your boy, "Attend to my friend
as well as myself," he will do so, but with so
ill a grace that your friend were as well with
out him. Of course this does not allude to
a case where he sitting next you lives in
your house, because much fraternity existeth
among the boys, who will often supply the
place of, and attend to the calls of the master,
of some boy wishing a holiday.
To describe their dress. In winter, a small
round skull-cap, with a button on the top ;
a short thick coat reaching to the waist.

Tlieir Dress. 29
which is covered when they are waiting at
table by a long gown down to the ankles;
this is sometimes made of silk, and wadded.
As the weather becomes warmer, this long
garment is changed for one of blue cotton, of
the same length. Under these they wear
loose trousers to the knee, where they are
met by white, or blue, thick stockings* The
sleeves of all Chinamen's coats are invariably
six oi* seven inches beyond the tips of their
fingers. So far for the dress of our servants,
who are respectful and attentive before your
face, noisy and larky behind your back,
their spare time being for the most part
occupied in either sleeping or gambling.
For all of which he receives the small sum
of £32 sterling, and complains of being
overworked. At 6 o'clock A.M. your servant (I am
taking my own case, others being much the
same) brings you your cup of tea (and fruit,
if in season, such as a melon from the ice
box, or some plantains fresh from Hongkong).

¦40 The Englishman in China.
He removes your clothes to be brushed,
dusts gently round your room, takes away
empty glasses, or anything which may remain
from the last night ; admits the cooly to light
your fire (if it bo winter), — in fact, makes
all comfortable. At 8 o'clock he returns
with your clothes, puts out your clean linen,
and opens your bath-room door for the cooly
to fill your bath.
Between 6 and 8 o'clock you have been
reading, smoking, or writing, as you may
have been disposed. You go down to a
9 o'clock breakfast, which concluded, you
take a walk on " The Bund," smoking a ci
gar, and listening to any news there may be.
In the summer, the interval between 6 and
8 o'clock is geperally occupied by walking,
as in the middle of the day — in fact, until
nearly six in the evening — it is too hot to go
out. At 10 o'clock, we will say, you enter
your office, and remain there till 1 o'clock,
when " tiffin " is announced, and doubtless a
friend or two will drop in. You I'eturn to

Pidgin-English . 4 1
your office till about 5 o'clock, all, however,
depending upon what you have to do as to
the lateness of the hour. After this, a walk,
a ride, a drive, a game of bowls, rackets, a
row, or a sail, till time to dress for a dinner
between 7 and 8 o'clock — some people, of
course, preferring to dine early, and have
tea. LLalte Id ! We've gone as far as we can
before introducing you to the mysteries of
that abnormous lingo ycleped Pidgin-Eng
lish. Sit thyself down, therefore, and
attend with patience unto me, for unless
thou be well grounded in this all-important
branch, thy noddle will become bewildered
by the quaintness and originality of many of
my after-phrases and conversations.
The word " pidgin," with a Chinaman,
means work or employment of any kind : — As
for instance, "You cannot see him, he has
pidgin." Again : " What pidgin has he ? "
i. e., how is he employed ? " Did you observe
that pidgin he had in his hand ? " which

42 The Englishman in China.
means some strange article he held. Hence
" pidgin-English " took its name, the first
word acting as a sort of adjective to " English."
Not pure English, but a mixture, a mongrel
English, — in fact, a Pidgin-English.
The great secret in speaking this dialect is
to add ee to the end of your words, as, makee,
walkee, talkee, showee, singee ; for I, me, or
mine, always say my; and before a verb
place the verb to make, with its addition of
ee, dropping the double e on the second one ;
and precede the substantive by the word
"piecee," or piece, stating the number. By
some extraordinary twist, in this' language
the word "pay " has been introduced in place
of that of " show." Thus, should you require
two books from off the table — " Boy ! makee
pay my that two piecee book." Here you ¦will
observe that that, not those, and two book,
not books, must be used. Now, I dare say
you will laugh when you read this, and say
"What humbug!" But I give you my word
that this is no " traveller's tale," or one in-

Pidgin-English. 43
vented for your benefit. It is a fact. There
are other words with which we shall possibly
meet, but they will all, I think, after this
small sketch, be easily made out by you.
"LyahV " Choie!" and "Kumptan!" are their
favourite expressions of surprise, disgust, and
indignation. Their unparliamentary ¦R'ords
we had best leave alone, for the present at
least, until I have accustomed you to their
gibberish. Here is a small scene which was to-day
enacted, and for your guidance I have added,
alongside the pidgin conversations, a transla
tion in proper English.
Dram. Persons : My BoT, a Tailoe, and Myself.
Scene : My Boom. Time : \ v.ta. I have just rung my hell,
and am, discovered seated at my table (r.J. Enter to m«
BoT (0. li.).
PIDGIIf-ENOLISH. TRAKBIATIOW.
BoT. You makee ling 1 Did you ring, sir ?
Mr. Yes, sendee catchee one Yes, send for a tailor.
piecee tailor man.
Boy. Just now have got hot- He is below at present.
torn side.
My. Show he come top side. Tell him to come up.
Exit Boy, and re-enter with Tailob.

44

The Englishman in China.

My. You belong tailorman ?
T. Yes, sar, my belong tai
lorman.
My. Belong what name ?
T. Any man callee my
Stultz.
My. Poreignman talkee so
fashion, how fashion
that Chinaman talkee ?
T. Pohing.
My. My boy makee show
you what thing my
makee wantchee, more
better you go bottom
side askee he. He makee
show you what thing.
Bor. "What thing you want
chee ?
Mr. Show he makee mend
that more olo pioceo
coat, and suppose he
can makee clean my
thinkee more better.
Bor. Just now teecfin have
leddy.
Mr. Ready ! Belong what
time ?
Boy. Must wantchee one
halp belong catchee that
two.
My. What thing hah got ?
Boy. My no sarby.
Mr. Well, go look see.

Boy. Feeesantee, colo lose
beefo, cully, and lice.
Mr. All right, I come chop
chop ; show he alio
man no makee wait.

Are you a tailor ?
Yes, sir, I am a tailor.
"What is your name ?
They call me Stultz.
The foreigners call you so,
but what is your real Chi
nese name ?
Pohing.
My boy will show you what
I want done ; you had bet
ter go down and ask him
about it ; he will show you
what I want. Exit Taiiob.
"What do you want ?
Tell him to mend that very
old coat, and if he can
clean it so much the bet
ter.
Luncheon is ready.
Ready ! "Why, what time is
it?
It wants half an hour to
two o'clock (1.30).
What have you ?
I don't know.
Well, go and see.
Boy exit, and return.
Pheasants, cold roast beef,
curry, and rice.
All right, I'll come directly;
tell them all not to wait.
Exeunt omnes.

The LLaunch of Venison. 45
They are characters, these boys, in their
way, and wags after their own fashion. The
other day a friend of mine — a very good
fellow, hospitable and kind, o^e of whose
faults, however, is his animosity to Her
Majesty's English, with which he is con
tinually quarrelling — gave a dinner party to
a few friends, having on the occasion a
haunch of venison. The .haunch, however,
arrived on table in a terribly raw state,
infuriating the host to such a degree that he
swore round oaths at the cook for the space
of five minutes, and then, with a glorious one
to wind up, desired the boy to take it down
to the cook and tell him to 'eat it.
No sooner said than done ; away went the
boy, and away went the venison. Host offers
many apologies — guests take wine and wait.
The attendant boys, not caring about standing
doing nothing, retire. But you can already
foresee the denouement. The boy's answer
was enough when asked, after the expiration
of our patience, for the unoffending meat.

46

The Englishman in China.

" You talkee my show that piecee cook-
man makee eat — just now my suppose he
makee finish chow chow" (eating it).
Doubtless there was chuckling in the
kitchen, and the only way to have known
anything of the quality of our host's venison
would have been to have made a special
inquiry of the boys themselves, who re
turned to the apartment with a very self-
satisfied smile on their lips.
It is raining as it only can, I believe,
in China. For five weeks it has been
unceasing in its steady fall. I heard of
a friend going out to dinner last evening —
of course, being wet, he went in his chair.
Here is one.

SEDAN OBAIR.

The Broken " Umbleller." 47
Not seeing his boy attending him at table,
he on his return home inquired the reason,
and was told, — " lyah ! how can? Have makee
too muchee lain, and just now my umbleller
have bloke." Cool ! n'est-ce pas ? And so
the boy, instead of waiting at table, Avaited
at home, and doubtless enjoyed his pipe. A
Chinese umbrella is made of paper, painted
and varnished, and nearly flat. Being so
thin, you wall easily comprehend how very
rare it is to see one that has not a hole in it.
In place of a spring they are kept closed by
a ring. Last night I dined at the  Consulate,
and witnessed a curious scene with one of
the boys. You see, as in my last letter, I am
still harping upon that subject, because I
think it will amuse you. We sat down
a party of twelve. The dinner was as pretty
as French people only can make it, and one
thing especially struck me. There was
a brace of pheasants cooked in the usual
way, over these were two pheasants' skins

48 Tlie Englishman in China.
neatly put on, so that they had the appear
ance of the living creatures. The effect was
very good, and startling to behold. After
this came the regular entrees, and all went
well and smoothly, until Mademoiselle 
(who seems to manage the house for her
brother) insisted on so many changes of
dishes, and bullied (that's the only word) the
servants, who were Ningpo boys (into whom
she had inculcated a knowledge of French),
that they fairly revolted. But I must give
you the conversation as it occurred : —
" Apportez-moi cela, Afong ; non, pas 9a,
I'autre. Que faites-vous done, stupide ?" To
a friend she added, " Comme il fait froid,
n'est-ce pas ? "
Round comes the boy, and with a sudden
motion of the hand whips off her cloak,
pretending her orders had been to remove
her mantle, under which he knew she was
freezing. Oh the disgust of that poor lady !
oh those poor cold shoulders ! oh the fuss
that there was ! Imagine it you must, for I

The Bund. 49
cannot describe it to you. A thin French
lady, with a low dress and Avithout the neces
sary toute ensemble J
I know not if my letters are changed, but
I feel I -myself have. The fact is, that after
having been here two years, I have ex
perienced every change of climate, and that's
not a little, I can assure you. Think of six
months of thermometer at 80° in the shade,
two of bitter cold, and the rest made up of
rain and sundry changes — " Pleasant ! " you
will say, I know — surrounded by paddy-fields
from which the miasmata arise in clouds,
and through which you have, as in a Lon
don fog, at times literally to cut your Avay.
Trees we have none, though they pro
pose planting some along the face of
the Bund. By the bye, have I ever
described this same Bund ? It is a walk
in front of the river houses (if I may so call
them), some twenty to five-and-twenty feet
wide, on which the gossip is discussed, and y'
people do take their exercise, equestrian and
D

50 Tlie Eiglishman in China.
otherAvise. On this promenade do hoops.
swell along, would-be dandies ride, and noble
Tipans drive. There are some twenty houses
facing the river, in front of which is the
aforesaid Bund. Ah ! thou Bund, could
thy wall and muddy walk but speak, how
much, how very much couldst thou say !
Each morn thou hast groups of Guppists
{Anglice gossips) strolling over thee — each
day good or evil is spoken of neighbours on
thy brown face.
Elephantiasitical cooly, appear ! Thou
chair-bearer, thou carrier at a swift pace
of the lazy swell, the hurried merchant, and
the dishonestly 'cute Chinese broker ! Here's
a character for you ! His tail, which has not
been unplaited for a week (he being shaved,
perhaps, but once in seven days), is carefully
wound round his head ; a light blue (that
everlasting colour ! ) — a light blue jacket of
cotton covers his upper man, whilst a pair of
continuations of similar material and colour
reach as far as his knees ; on his feet, grass

Chair Coolies. 51
saiidals. This mule — for such they generally
show themselves to be, hard-working and
obstinate— will walk for a whole day, he
and his companion remaining in the shafts
of your chair, and carry you where and for
as long as you vrill. Many and many are
the " Jeameses " would give their very ears
for such calves as he OAvns. I presume that
it is in consequence of carrying such heavy
Aveights that his lower muscles increase to so
great a size, because his arms are generally
small, emaciated, and wanting much of that
hard lump which we do delight in asking
friends to feel after having, by a careful
and sudden jerk of the arm, brought it into
a state of rigidity.
Bravely walk these coolies, and at a good
round trot, I can assure you, if necessary. I
am the proprietor of four of them, and by my
sketch of the chair you will see how they
are harnessed.
Two before and tAvo behind. Mandarins
use sometimes sixteen; that is to say, eight
d2

52 Tlie Englishman in China.
carrying the chair and eight walking by the
side as a relay.

OHAIE-BEAKERS.

You will notice that my leader carries
in his hand a stick. This should be (were
my sketch not so bad) a flat piece of Avood,
on which is painted my rank and title —
don't laugh ; I mean it for a fact — the
Chinese being excellent felloAvs at finding
both for you, should you, before leaving
England, have failed in procuring for your
self a peerage. I believe, were mine pro
perly translated, 1 am a grand duke.

Coolies' Tails.

53

I see, on looking at what I have Avritten,
that I have described their tails as being
twisted round their heads ; this, however, is
not always the case. There are three styles
which coolies adopt in their coiffure, so .do the
women, but of them more by-and-by; though
I feel you will call out, on reading such a
sentence, "Place aux dames!" .

COOLT COIFFUKES,

Here I have made you a sketch of five
heads. The first, you will see, has twisted his

54 The Englishman in China.
hair round his head three times, the second
plaited his hair into a long tail reaching to
his heels, whilst the third has tied the tail
into a lump at the back of his head. The
other two in my sketch are only to show the
same in side views. When any Chinaman is
busy he gets rid of his tail as though it were
always in his way. It is a curious circum
stance (which I may here mention) that
before a Chinese is put into his coffin, his
tail is cut off to be buried with him. The
origin of this was their subjugation by the
Tartars, who compelled them to wear tails.
Hence they consider the removal of this
appendage a proof that the party in question
is no longer under Tartaric influence.
The women, again, have various modes of
dressing their hair. As babies, a small pig
tail is encouraged, the rest being shorn ; as
they grow older all the hair of the head is
allowed to grow, and is plaited into one large
tail which hangs down their backs. A few
years more, and the maiden gathers all her

Maidens ILair. 55
hair into a lump on the right-hand side, into
which she also places a flower.

maiden's head-dress.
This style she retains from the moment of
her engagement (sometimes some years) until
married, when it is again changed to that
which I may call the matron's coiffure. By
this head-dress you may tell from what part
she comes, — Canton differing as much from
Ningpo as the latter does from Shanghai.
The hinder part of the hair is quite flat,
and kept out by a gummy substance which
is composed of certain wood-shavings, which,
being of a glutinous nature, when soaked in
warm water, produce a glue of so strong a
power that when it has well dried on the

56 Tlie Englishman in China.
head (say in an hour after the application)
the hair is so hard that it has the feeling and
appearance more of a cardboard ornament
than anything else. Now, as it is necessarily

CHINA V. ENGLAND.

a tiresome operation, that of fixing such a
head of hair, they do not do it every day, but
at night, lest it should be disarranged, the fair
ones use a pillow of strange and curious con
trivance, being no less than a wooden table,
eight inches long by six broad and high, on
which they place their hair. By this means

England v. China. 57
they are enabled to sleep on one side without
fear of disarranging anything.
Lest any fair one should be shown this by
you, I have added to my sketch a back view
of an English girl's head of hair. Compare
the two, and see how barbarous is the Chinese,
how ladylike and simple the English. See
how the Chinese girl's hair sticks out behind,
and how flatly lies the English. Let your
pretty sisters, or any sweet creature of John
Leech's brain, arm herself and run down the
vulgar and stupid Celestial, abuse her, call
her names, and stone her for her stupid bar
barity; and, looking upon my sketch, say,
with a thrill of delight, "My house is not
made of glass."
Sometimes the Avomeii wear their hair in
one large plait round the head, sometimes
neatly coiled up at the back of the head.
The disreputable ones, with the view, I sup
pose, of attracting the unwary, part their hair,
many of them, down the middle, and try to
look English. This is observed chiefly in the
d3

58

Tlie Englishman in China.

worst part of Hongkong, amidst the beer
houses, where poor Jack is continually losing
himself. Towards the autumn, preparatory to the
cold weather setting in, your boy allows a
cheveux de frise to accumulate on the top of
his head, which, when sufficiently long, is
blended with the tail.

CHEVEUX DE FRISE.

The effect, you will observe, taken either
back or front, is curious; and you are apt,
until your eye becomes accustomed to it,
to trace a resemblance to an Indian, \\'ant-
ing only his vrar paint.
It is very common with babies, both male

IMtle Pigtails. 59
and female, to allow two tails to grow until
they reach the age of tAvo-and-a-half or three
years; these tails are tied with coloured
ribands.

LITTLE PldTAILS.

Very like a couple of horns, are they not?
, If the child has on a cap, this is ornamented
with butterflies fixed on to Avires, Avhich keep
dancing about at every motion of the head.
The "first shave," which occurs Avhen the
child is one month old, is a great occasion,
and a grand feast is generally given by the
father. On this day all Ningpo babies have
a small hole made on the top of their heads,
in order (as they think) to keep away all
disease ; the pracuce is not unlike our vacci
nation.

6o The Eiglishman in China.

child's CAP.
Attached to the giris' head-dresses you
often find a long black silk fringe, to give
the appearance of profusion of hair. These,
however, are more generally only bands open
at the top, so that the top of the head pro
trudes, two strings hanging down behind.
Old women and widows wear a fillet round
the head, the former of black crape, the
latter of white cotton. Thousands and thou
sands of bales of silk are annually used for
these crape bands ; and I have heard that as
many as thirty-seven thousand bales are
every year converted into the black silk
tassels alone, which form the end of a China
man's tail. Of course this amount includes
all China.

3Iud Pies.

6i

PLAYING IN THE MUD.

Here are a party of small children enjoy
ing themselves in the mud ; the one at the
back is a girl. Talking of mud, I am in the
slough of despond, I can assure you, Avith
regard to my Chinese. It is an awful lan
guage to acquire ; and though I have kept at
it till now, I fear me much that if /do not give
it up, it will me. Besides, with this wretched

62 Tlie Englishman in China.
pidgin-English always dinning in one's ears,
you get no opportunities of practising it. The
only times it has stood me in need have been
in my boating excursions up the country.
By the bye, you would perhaps like to hear
about these. Very different things are they
to our boating excursions in our jjretty little
"pair-oar." Not but what we have our
" biffins " out here, and even mustered this
summer three " fours." But permit me to
have the pleasure of your company until
Monday morning, when we will be back to
breakfast. Allons ! — it is just four o'clock, a
lovely Saturday afternoon, and here we are
at one of the numerous jetties.
AlloAV me first to introduce you to Mr.
Achong, the lauder, or captain of my boat.
There he stands, boathook in hand, Avith his
tail twisted jauntily round his poll — his head,
I mean ; by his side, his younger brother,
"Jack," first officer, who has hold of the
rope confining us to the shore; behind him,
the cook, who has just collected some provi-

Soger abroad. 6^
sions ; and, looking into the cabin, my boy,
seeing that all is properly arranged.
Voila ! step on to my fore-deck, and enter
the first compartment, fitted with washhand-
stand, cui)bbard, and ice-box. From this we
pass into the second room, shut the glass
door, — now we are nice and snug : on that
table we will, in an hour's time, discuss some
dinner ; and later, on those couches you and
I will sleep. On the left you will find a
rack, in which we will put our guns : the
dogs are already in their kennel, under the
fore-deck. At the end of our apartment is
another door : this leads to a small place
which you see is fitted up as a pantry. There
is the plate-chest, holding every requisite for
four persons, including crockery, &c. On the
row above are hanging tankards, Avhich tell
tales of hard struggles at Hammersmith and
Henley-on-Thames. Behind the door, our
cook and servant sleeps, and Avhom, in honour
to his talents, I have christened Soyer. Be
hind his domain runs the after-deck, under

66 The Englishman in China.
which the lauder and first officer live. This
constitutes my regular crew, who receive
about £5 per month amongst them. As we
are going for a little trip, Achong has hired
four extra (or, as they are called, outside)
coolies, who will continue to propel the boat
by that huge oar you see at the stern, unless
we are blessed with a breeze.
" Now, boy, have you put everything in —
plenty of beer and wine ? "
" Yes, sir."
" W hat meat have you ? "
" Beefsteak pie, colo muttin-chopo, one
piecee stake belong mintin (to-morrow), one
piecee loaf ; salade and cheesee have got in
side." You ask me what is under our couches.
Under yours you will find four compartments :
three are drawers into which you can put
your clothes, books, &c.; the fourth is the
wine-cellar. Under mine, which is also di
vided, you will find beer-cellar, and Soyer's
feet when he goes to bed, as his mattress

Off to Karding. 67
extends underneath, he objecting to sleep in
a bed only as long as his pantry is Avide;
viz., three feet eight inches.
" Now, Mr. Achong, give way ! " say I, upon
which he inquires our destination. " What
side you go ? "
" Karding side, must wanchee go chop
chop ; come back Monday morning."
" Karding? all light, my catchee to-mollow
five harp," (we shall arrive at half-past five
A.M. to-morrow), he replies.
And now A^'e are off. We pass H.M.S.
Highflyer, our guard-ship — her ever-to-be-
respected commander. Captain Shadwell, is
just leaving her, we will presume for a
stroll on shore, where his band is play
ing lively waltzes. This large wooden
structure is " Wills'-bridge," erected by a per
son of that name, in order to supersede the
ferry. Every Chinaman pays one cash each
time he crosses it, and the European residents
4 taels (1 tael = 6s. 8d.) per annum ; carriages
something extra. This bridge unites the

68 The Englishman in China.
English and French with the American set
tlements. We are now in the Soochow creek— one of
the celebrated and much-used water-ways of
the North— about as large as the Thames at
Hampton, becoming gradually narrower and
narrower, until in some places you stick for
want of water.
Come out on to the deck — there is just
room for ourselves, two chairs, and the dogs.
Now what is your highness for? Will you
imbibe the immortal BasS, or, trusting to my
unfailing judgment and the heat of the
afternoon, taste the juicy cup?
We are passing Yakeetan, or Pheasant
Mound, around which you can get any
quantity of birds. I always keep my gun
loaded in case of a stray shot — there goes
a brace of wood-pigeon. My revolver I also
have loaded for security, as it is just as
well to be on your guard with Chinamen — I
never trust them : they know that I have five
balls under my pillow, and also are pretty

Tlie Soochow Creek. 71
certain I would not hesitate about making
them better acquainted with their weight.
Dinner is over — and not a very bad one, I
think ; cold pie, salad, and a splendid Stilton.
After which let me recommend you a glass of
port. Do you take tea or coffee ? There
are both. Favour me by just pressing that
knob — thank you ; you did not know it Avas a
bell before. You will find four in the boat,
so that one is always within reach.
"Soyer, two cujis of coffee, and you can
clear aAvay while we smoke outside. You
may amuse yourself also by hanging up
the mosquito curtains." Ten o'clock ! — how
quickly the time has passed !
Holloa ! my dear fellow, wake up ! It's
five o'clock, and I'm just about to take a
"header," — I would advise your doing the
same. That's right ! How beautiful the Avater
is, is it not ? Besides, there is another advan
tage: — while we are out here bathing, Soyer
takes the opportunity of opening all the win
dows, and by the time you have done your

72 The Englishman in China.
swim you will find all signs of beds gone, the
windows admitting the sweet morning air, and
on the table two cups of coffee, and a couple
of Avater-melons from our ice-box, — all the
result of proper training. Ah me ! it cost me
three beautiful sticks, and great exertion,
getting Soyer into good habits; but now I
never have to speak to him twice — in fact,
rarely once.
Do you know it makes me quite melan
choly writing to you like this ? and I can
truly say, in the words of poor Lucy's lover —
" Oh ! if I had you by my side,
How happy I should feel ! "
Picture to yourself along vista of trees, the
first of the bright and glorious morning sun
shining on them as they kiss the clear water
flowing at their feet ; the line is broken by a
little bridge, made roughly of poles and
planks. Turning to the right, we enter Karding
through an archway, on each side of which
run the castellated walls. A second arch-

Karding.

73

way from which hang a pair of old wooden
gates — small cottages on either side. Two
more bridges, and we are in the lake, and
facing the Mandarin Palace. The lake has
two islands : that on our left is covered with
trees and wild flowers ; that on our right
supports a little building which may not inap
propriately be called a lodge — it is evidently
artificial ; and though its only inhabitants are
some fan-tailed and other pigeons, yet its
commanding position, looking towards each of

SMALL PAGODA, KARDING.

74 The Englishman in China.
the three entrances to the lake, places it very
conveniently as a tower of observation.
The walls of this town are very extensive,
and in good preservation ; but not more than
a third of the ground so surrounded is built
upon, and many of the houses are closed.
'I'here is a dreary aspect over everything and
everybody. It is a great place for ponies,
and nearly all the hardy little animals which
Ave use come from here. After tiffin we will
look at the stables, which are dirty and not
so good as our home cow-houses. In that
large open ground they exercise them, so
foreigners have christened it "the Race
course." And now, having basked in the sunny
atmosphere, and seen all that there is to be
seen, let us retrace our steps, and, as we sail
along in the cool of the evening, take our
dinner, and drink " Sweethearts and wives
and absent friends, — God bless them !"
Observe this man punting his boat along.
He is a fisherman, and those are cormorants.

Cormorant Fishing.

IS

with which he catches his fish. I'll back a
Chinaman against the whole world for fishing.
The "dodges" they use are so enticing that
they make the fish walk into their traps: —
damming up their rivers, going about at night
with a light and a white board so placed on
the side of their boat that as soon as they
appear the inhabitants of the Avater, thinking
it is daylight, hop and skip about ; and yet,
fancying the while that it may perchance be
the moon, and not the sun at that time of
night, they determine upon instituting a
searching inquiry, and, giving a hop, skip,
and a jump, find themselves behind light and
painted board, in the dark and in the boat.

CORMORANT FISHING.

At the word of command these well-trained
E 2

76 Tlie Englishman in China.
cormorants Avill jump into the water and re
turn with a fish, which he takes from their
mouths, now and then as a reward giving
them one. The young are trained by placing
a ring round their throats, which prevents
their swallowing the fish when they catch
them. We shall see numbers of these boats
on our way home. It was from one of these,
no doubt, that Soyer purchased the fresh
fish you enjoyed so much at breakfast this
morning. Shall Ave buy some more for
dinner ?
" Ho ! Soyer, thou heathen, what hast thou
for dinner ? "
"Just now have got soup, fiss, cully, and
lice, and one piecee fowlo, one piecee
labbit." " Right Avell hast thou provided, 0 noble
cook! But what are these? By all that is
piscatorial, they do resemble whitebait ! "
Sit down, 0 friend and boon companion.
We are at Lovegrove's, eating whitebait on
the banks of Old Father Thames. Waiter, a

Nising. 77
bottle of champagne, — the best you have.
Allons done ! Here's to the maiden, &c. &c. !
Forgive my rattling on in this absurd strain,
but I cannot help it; and though I am quietly
sitting up in my room, writing my letters for
the mail, my imagination goes before my pen,
and I seemed actually to be doing what I
have just described, on a lovely Sunday after
noon. But the reality must come back, and
I must remember tAvo things, — first, that it is
raining cats and dogs outside, and, secondly,
that I have already inflicted upon you a
sufficiently long letter ; so I shall bring you
quietly back to Shanghai in my boat, and
say adieu.
And here we are at smelling Nising, one
of the dirtiest yet most curious old places I
have seen. Look at those old houses, on old
piles, in old canals. Look at these when the
sun is burning down upon you, — when 'every
bad smell is arising which dirt and pestilence
ever invented; and look again as you pass
through at night, wKen a glorious full moon

78 Tlie Englishman in China.

is playing upon the Avater, and dancing in
amongst those supports, making grim shadows'
in quaint out-of-the-Avay places, Avhere not a
breath of air is stirring, not even enough to
disturb the smoke from your cigar, and Avhere
the only sounds are the mfeasured roAving of
your boatman, and the ripple of the water as
your boat passes through it. Spend a peace
ful evening thus, — there is no fitter place for
communing Avith thine innermost self.
Monday morning, 7 a.m. Here we are at

Tlie Woosung River. 8i
the Marble Bridge, — a rough affair with three
arches, whose tops of wood move off and on
to allow the passage of boats. Come, let us
land, and while the boat goes round to our
jetty Ave will walk across, and haye a peep at
the race-course of Shanghai, and view ye
pleasures and pastimes of ye gents, in ye
costumes of ye period.
Innumerable are the various ways you may
go in your boat. Let us, while the weather
is fine, take another little trip. Passing up
the main river, the Woosung, instead of tak
ing the Soochow Creek, Ave shall arrive at the
same place by a different path. That bunga
low on the right, with its pretty garden,
belongs to  well, never mind; you'd
be none the Aviser. Suffice it I have the
privilege of calling him friend, and that he is
a very good fellow. We have wind and tide
in our favour ; so up with the sail, which is
as large as the boat itself. See what a curi
ous mast Ave have ! E 3

82

TIte Englishman in China.

BOAT S MAST.

AA are hinges supportmitehe triangle
ABA, the balance being s^^|P^5^,-,tliat a
man and a boy, by a pulley fromB,' passing
through another on deck, can raise a mafet of
twenty feet Avith perfect ease. A small block
at c receives a rope for raising the sail ; and
a smaller one at D, the halyards for the flag.
Here we are at Minhong, merely a village,
but where there is a very large bean-cake
factory. Sail we on and turn to the right, and noAv
we have left the river and entered a broad
creek.

v-.^

h/yMli^^

Bridges. 87
How do you like these two bridges, one at
Soonkong where we are now, the other on our
road to the hills, whither some day Ave will go ?
First let us take a peep at Chingpo. There
are some pretty tea-gardens here. Noav
"tea-gardens" does not mean as in Eng
land a roAv of arbours, and seats painted
green once a year, Avhere you partake of
tea and praAAUS. But it means gardens laid
out Avith taste, where rockAvork is most cun
ningly contrived ; Avherc arc ])icccs of Avater,
whose surface is a bed of floAvers of the fairest
lily kind ; and a place where quaint summer-
houses are half hidden by the rarest flowers,
and, from the funny and zig-zag paths, most
difficult to get at.
Now you must keep your eyes on the
stretch, for there is much to see. What
brain but that of a Chinaman Avould make
you enter through such a doorway as this ?

88 TIte Englishman in China.

JAR DOORWAY.

Yet there it is, and for drollery is only
equalled by the bottle window opposite.
But, if the Chinese delight in their designs
to awaken our risible faculties, they can also
inspire us with pleasure, by the beauty of
their designs. Cast your eye on that wall
opposite, and see how prettily it is pierced by
tracery.

Bottle Window.

'//x//m/77Mr/x///x//M

If we may judge by the corner of the next
doorway, the architect was a funny felloAV,

9°

The Englishman in China.

and could not help putting in something
odd.

"PUNOH."

From the first lake we walk on to the
second, which, till we *urn a corner, has
been hidden by rockwork and beautiful
flowers. Here an old oak not three feet high,
the stem of which you cannot embrace, there
a fir tree with twisted branches which imitate
a man's head. The second lake is followed
in like manner by a third, fourth, and fifth.
In the last is a large building, where the cool
shade is most enjoyable.
Step carefully through this doorway, and re
member that henceforth you boast of having
been through an apple.

Fruit Doorways.

APPLE DOORWAY.

Its companion door opposite is a pear.
What a glorious place for a pic-nic ! Hoav
the little bonnets might run in and out of
this rockwork, and pretend to be frightened !
In the centre of the lake is a capital little
summer-house ; we will put the band there.
Lest Ave want anything to complete our
picture, behold as we stand here the lovely
peacock-butterfly, the common house-top
English sparrow, and that invariable and ne
cessary addition to a pic-nic — a " wops."
Returning to our boat we will indulge in
tiffin while we sail along.

Tlie Englishman in China.

SUMMER-HOUSE.

Quite correct ! (you see I still fancy you
and I are side by side) — I had quite forgotten
the invitation we received to be present at a
sing-song to-morrow evening. So Ave must
go in imagination to the hills on some other
occasion ; in the mean time I will close this
letter, as it is already a long one, and I fear I
shall confuse your brain too much with my
chatter, thus causing you to make most
awful blunders when on 'Change.
I promised in my last to tell you about a

LGntai. pj
sing-song, or evening party, given by a China
man to his friends. On Thursday evening
last, then (a gloomy November day it had
been, and raining quadrupeds), at 1 1 o'clock
P.M., a friend and myself started for the hong,
or house, of Kintai, a gentleman weighing as
many stone as Daniel Lambert, a merry-
looking countenance, several wives, and a
tolerably long purse ; to Avind up his qualifica
tions, know that he is both merchant and
silk-broker, and one very large humbug when
ever he can get a chance.
Over the doorway Avas written in gold.
Sin Wha Kee Hong, the name of his
house, whilst coloured lamps added to the
brilliancy of the gilt letters.
We entered, and after breaking our shins
over chairs left in the dark passage by stupid
coolies, and treading on another lot of the
same set of creatures, who were lying fast
asleep (and merely sang out an " lyah !" woke
up, and Avere off again a minute after your
foot had passed from their faces), came at a

94 The Englishman in China.
turn of the passage into the hall where sat old
fat Kintai, surrounded by all the silk-brokers
of Shanghai. The yard in which the stage
had been erected, was covered in. Fighting
through the crowd, we made our way to where
Kintai was sitting, who came forAvard and
conducted us to seats where we could see all
that was passing. The hall was about 80
feet long, 25 high, and 50 deep ; all round
the sides Avere placed flowers in full bloom,
so arranged that their colours should har
monize with the variegated lanterns placed
among theni. From the ceiling hung large
glass lamps with painted sides and red tapers.
Long silken tassels of blue and crimson hung
from each. About twelve small tables were
surrounded by guests, eating, drinking, and
gambling. To the right, two doors led to the
dwelling-house ; to the left, one to an opium-
room, Avhere half a dozen lazy fellows Avere
imbibing the drug, after drinking samchoo
till they Avere almost drunk with it. The
audience sat in rows, and had much the ap-

Rock-work. 95
pearance of an Adelphi pit audience. The stage
was erected about 4 feet high, covered in at
the top, and ornamented with crimson silk
embroidered with gold. From the ceiling
coloured lamps hung as in the main hall.
The stage was about 14 feet square, and the
only scenery consisted of a white screen
placed at the back to enable the actors to
pass unobserved into the green-room.
To the right of the court-yard was another
room, open in front, in Avhich Avcre masses of
rockAvork, creepers, floAversj looking-glasses,
and lamps. The rocks were the most natural
I ever saw, even bearing a close inspection.
They were composed of sticks of the ever-
useful bamboo as a framework; over this
thin crumpled brown paper was placed, and
afterwards carelessly spotted with Indian ink,
the looking-glasses at foot giving the appear
ance of water, and carrying the reflection of
the flowers.
The stage and its occupants next formed
the subject of our inspection. Nothing was

96 The Ihglishman in China.
at the moment being performed, but at my
request a new piece was commenced. A
young girl came on, dressed as a fishwoman,
with an empty basket, which she appeared
to have great difficulty in supporting; after
talking for some time she retired to sell her
fish, the apparent weight of the basket being
sufficient indication to the audience that it
was full. On her departure the following
scenes ensued: — Enter a girl aged 17, dressed
as a mandarin in disguise, Avho, after much
talking, goes into the empty boat which the
fisliAvoman has just left. She accomplished
this by lifting a stick placed across two
chairs, and Avas then supposed to be perfectly
hidden. Enter fish-wife in mourning for her
father, (this is evident from the shape of her
white apron,) sings and speaks of the price
obtained for her fish, discovers man in boat,
who stoutly denies her imputation of theft
being his object. Overcome by his entrea
ties, she consents to fly Avith him, and they
enter the boat together (that is, lift up the

A Chinese Play. 97
stick which rests on two chairs) ; she com
mences moving a pole about as though she
were sculling, and he, sitting on his heels,
swings himself backwards and forwards. I
inquired of old Kintai, Avho was by my side
explaining all things, the meaning of this.
" How," said he, " can one sit steadily when
a boat is being rowed?" Consequently it Avas
incumbent on the actor to swing himself
about. Whilst they were thus occupied one
of the musicians (there were four at the table
at the back of the stage), and who, by the
bye, rose occasionally to assist the actor, put
down his instrument, and retiring produced
a tea-pot; each musician had a suck at it.
lie then handed "the spout" first to the fish
wife, and next to the mandarin in disguise,
who sucked and resumed their occupations.
The next act commenced Avith another man
darin, who was an emperor in full uniform.
" But," said I to Kintai, " Iioav can there be
two Emperors f" "Don't you see," said he,
" that's the beauty of the piece ? As it is

98 Tlie Englishman in China.
impossible to have two, they must fight, and
then we shall see which will be the real
one." We left soon afterwards, not forgetting,
hoAvever, to do justice to our host's cham
pagne which he had duly prepared for our
uncivilized tastes. Doubtless I have some
what bewildered you with my description;
but I can assure you that I do not believe
there was one person in the room who com
prehended what he had seen. The story is
told to the host, who retails it to his guests.
The actors are always little girls, and be the
piece performing grave or gay, the costumes
are invariably those worn by the Chinese
300 years ago. A change of dress is often
effected by merely putting on or taking off a
small half-mask.
Do not we have books of the play, do not
we wear masks, and, if that be not all, do not
we rush about starving, and declare we are
not hungry until our last visitor has gone ?
The performance we applaud, and then sit

New Year's Day. 99
down to supper. I Avill wager a tael to a
copper cash old Kintai ate and drank for an
hour after we left him. They were already
very far gone in the opium-room when we
came away.
Picture to yourself being aroused from
slumbers refreshing and sweet on our old
English Valentine's day, not by a scented
love-token, but by a fellow in a costly blue
mandarin silk dress lined with more costly
fur, with an extravagant one again over that,
cap with a coral button on the top, embroi
dered shoes, and silk stockings ! Before you
can recover from the shock, or remember it
is the China New Year, a voice comes from
this swell, by Avhich you discover it is your
boy talking to you from out of a bundle of
clothes he has begged, borrowed, redeemed
from the care of his father's brother, or,
maybe, stolen.
" Master, belong my chin-chin you. Just
now my wantchee makee go that city side,
makee chin-chin Joss."
F 2

lOO Tlie Englishman in China.
" What good will it do you, boy?"
" Good, my no sarby ; belong olo custom
pidgin, any man must wantchee go chin-chin
Joss new year tim."
"Which piecee Joss you go chin-chin?"
" Done, belong have got one piecee flend,
my go along he ; suppose he go what side ? "
(?!. e. I don't know which place he will select.)
" Well, go on then ; but mind, all the boys
can't go."
" Oh no, some piecee makee stop here."
" But don't they want to go and chin-chin
Joss?" " By-and-by can do, next year he go, my
makee stop, so fashion."
" What do you do when you go to see
Joss?" "What thing my do? Chin-chin he, pay
he kumshaw (present), pay that priestee man
litty cash ; he makee pray all the same my,
by-and-by my go catchee chow chow long
one piecee flend."
As for denying so magnificent a party, it

A Disappointment. loi
never entered my head ; on the contrary, I
felt most fully how indebted I was to him
for doing me the honour of asking my per
mission to go out ; and I can assure you that
ray intense surprise was in no way lessened
by finding him at half-past one p.m. standing
behind my chair with a plate in his hand, and
with his usual plain blue dress on.
The evening previous three of us, in pilot-
coats, sea-boots, and sou'-westers, had Avalked
all over the city, from 11 p.m. to 3 a.m., in the
hopes of seeing them turn out in procession
to chin-chin Joss; and after waiting unsuc
cessfully till we were wet through, went home
to bed, being informed next day, to our great
disgust, that at 4 a.m., the rain having ceased,
the Chinamen did turn out. After luncheon
eight of us went again into the city. Fancy
eight sedan chairs of four coolies each ! — such
a cavalcade ! !
Monday was a better day, the natives
marching about d la mandarin, bowing,
scraping, chin-chinning, and grinning at one

I02 Tlie Englishman in China.
another. For several days no business is
done ; the Chinese eat, drink, and are jolly.
At New Year's time all accounts are squared
up, and two months after, debts are paid.
Any one unable to meet his creditors is
trusted by no one for twelve lunar months
afterwards. Amongst their other strange superstitions
and customs is that of the non-cohabitation
of the sexes on New Year's eve, the Avife
believing that loss of children, both present
and future, would be the immediate result,
— the most awful punishment which they
can imagine.
On the 16th (China New Year's day falling
this year about our 1st of March), I went up
to Loong-wha, about eight miles up the river,
to a famous pagoda, famous not from its
beauty, but from the supposition that on this
day it is inhabited by the particular Joss who
presides over fruitful matrons; and thither
come young and old women to pray, chin-
chin, and ofjer presents, in order to propitiate

A New Years Card.

103

this deity. But I failed in seeing them, so
presume I had been misinformed ; in fact, as
I believe that even the Chinese men absent
themselves, it is improbable a foreigner
could get a peep.
The celestials are as fond of making and
receiving presents at New Year's time as a
French Miss home from hex pension. They
send round a red card the first thing in the

BEW YEABB CARD.

I04 Tlie Englishman in China.
morning ; I have made a copy of the one I
received. It professes all sorts of things,
amongst others a hope that the dimensions
of your shadow may not be altered, or that
you should not at any time, through the vio
lence of an enemy, be obliged to measure it
yourself. Every house, cottage, post, pillar, boat — I
might add every paving stone, only we don't
use them — is plastered over with a red paper
on which in black characters is the word
" Fo."

They say these papers are given to them by
the priests ; / say, catch a priest giving no
thing for nothing. They mean just Avhat you
may fancy nine-tenths of this world mean,
when they shake your hand and say " Happy

Joss" Day. 105
New Year to you ! " and forget to add query
at the end.
" Harmless," " Friends to all," " Have no
fear," are some of the translations of "Fo."
While the remembrance of what I wit
nessed last evening is still fresh in my
memory, I will endeavour to give you some
account of it. Joss and his friends, having
been out for a ride, were returning home
when I met them outside the city walls, near
the Ningpo burial-ground. Armed with my
net I had wandered in the cool of the evening
further than I had intended, and was in. the
act of securing a fine sphinx moth in my box,
ere I retraced my steps, Avhen the sound of
distant gongs which Avere approaching caused
me to halt. All around me the bushes Avere
so thick that I could see nothing; I therefore
climbed to the top of a neighbouring grave.
From my elevated spot I saAV the procession
about half a mile ahead of me, and knowing
they must follow the main road instead of the
small path where I Avas, I hastened on, and
F 3

io6 Tlie Englishman in China.
was not long in meeting with the first of the
train. There must have been between two
and three hundred persons following each
other, two abreast. It was chiefly composed
of coolies hired for the occasion, and dressed
up, some as soldiers with sham arms, some as
priests, and some as officers of state.
I could not learn what particular feast-day
it was, though perhaps none at all, being only
a small " pic-nic of Josses."
The following is something of the order
in which they passed me : —
Two gong-bearers beating time; two men
with coloured sashes, trailing along a split
bamboo, on which the name of the first Joss
(there were several out for a ride) was writ
ten ; eight soldiers, each bearing a lantern ;
four executioners with chains; twenty sol
diers, differently dressed to the others, with
red lanterns ; twelve priests with black caps
and paper lanterns ; a band of music, the per
formers little boys in long white dresses and
red sashes with black ends; an umbrella

Gong-bearer.

107

bearer, holding aloft the state red umbrella ;
two bearers of Joss's titles painted on bam
boo ; two more gongs, with flags of honour

UMBRELLA AND GONG.

attached, and Joss himself carried by eight
chair-bearers, whilst a relay of the same num
ber ran by the side. This huge log of wood
appeared to be of immense weight, and taxed
all the strength of the supporters. In front
of Joss were flowers, and a pan of incense,
from which such a smoke arose that it was
a perfect mercy his olfactory nerves were
not very acute. He was, I should say, a
gentleman of most magnificent appearance,
and of lofty stature, when standing up — for
even when I met him he must have measured
eight feet in a sitting position — and was

io8 Tlie Englishman in China.
dressed in embroidered scarlet satin. As
the evening was pretty well advanced, I
could not distinguish the features of the
giants his companions, but I much fear
one and all had been imbibing, as they (to
judge by the first) were very red in the
face, and one old gentleman actually fell
forward, the whole procession coming to a
halt while he Avas poked upright again in
his proper position. By the side of each
sedan chair walked two men, who kept con
tinually fanning Mr. Joss, Eight chairs con
taining real live people, each carried by four
coolies, and attended by tAvo lantern-bearers,
followed each of the gods, of whom I
counted five — so you may fancy Avhat an
immense train it was, as every deity was
attended by precisely the same number of
followers, a band of music, lanterns, &c., &c.,
as the very first one ; it must therefore serve
as an example for the rest.
I now resumed my homeward walk, meet
ing as I did so fifty or sixty stragglers.

Almost a Helmet. 109
who from their dress must have formed
part of the original procession. These Avere
following quite leisurely, some enjoying the
calumet of peace en route. I encountered
six men with what at first sight I mistook
for Roman helmets, but a closer inspection
proved they Avere merely skull-caps with
immense peacock feathers attached thereto.

ROMAN HELMET.

Following these came four culprits, in the
hands of two executioners, whose curiously
embroidered dresses and diabolically painted
faces shot me off at once into a Mephis-
tophilean train of thought. And I found
afterwards that I was not far wrong in my
notions, as these were part of the grand
show, and intended to impress on the mind

no The Englishman in China.
of the public the fate of naughty devils caught
during the journey. Amongst this motley
crowd I encountered six coolies dressed in
parti-coloured garments, • each the bearer of
six lanterns, of which, by the bye, I must try
and give you a sketch.

LANTERN UEAllER.

Most of the lanterns were of immense size,
and formed to imitate gourds, melons, even
cucumbers, and these (one of which I have
sketched) were fully five feet in diameter,
and brightly painted.
In front of most of the cottage-doors, "Joss-
paper" was burning, composed of silver tissue-
paper in the shape of shoes ; that is to say,
not the article with which you are wont to

Joss-Paper. 1 1 1
decorate your feet, but in form similar to the
ingots cast for the currency of the nation ; — of
these more by-and-by. These bundles of
Joss-paper are sold, strung upon strings, at
something like sixpence a hundred. Of
course there are different qualities, some
cheaper, some more expensive. Here is a
shoe, and the bundles look something like
this.

JOSS-PAPER.

I passed a temple, on the Yang Kin
Pan — a small creek — in which one of the
gods had just been deposited, and they were
then shutting up shop. This is the only term

1 1 2 The Englishman in China.
by which I can describe their mode of closing
their places of worship ; for they really put
up decayed-looking, worn-out, paint-wanting
shutters, such as our shops used before the
time of revolving iron ones.
Boys were employed raking up the dying
embers, Avhilst women and children prome
naded, dressed after a peculiar fashion — in
scarlet dresses, blue petticoats trimmed with
white, over the latter another white petticoat,
looped up behind and fastened into the waist
band ; the hair dislievelled, and the forehead
bound round with black crape, having a knot
in front, and hanging down the back.
These were recovering from various ill
nesses, and now returning thanks. Such, I
can only add, is a Joss-day, about the new-
year's time, among the Chinese.
Did I mention to you the loan which our
servants insist upon making at this their great
holiday-time? " My chin-chin you, pay my one moon ad
vance wage," said my boy to me.

07ie Moon's Wage. i ij
" A month's wages in advance ! What can
you want that for ? "
"Just now, my got olo mother. Canton side,
have got too muchy sick."
" Well, here you are ! Take this order to
the Comprador."
" My tankee you."
He departs, but returns directly with, —
" O master, my makee forget that washman
talJcee my chin-chin you pay he all same."
" What ! has he an olo mother too muchy
sick downside ? "
The boy laughs, and quietly says, —
" My no sarby."
I should be as greatly astonished as I ex
pect would be " washman,"^ did it ever get to
his pocket. But such is the custom, from
the butler down to the lowest coolie in your
hong; one moon's wage is expected, and great
indeed Avould be the surprise of the Celestial
to whom you should hint, the following month,
that he had already received his monthly
salary.

114 The Englishman in China.
Payments are entirely made by cheques
drawn by you upon the Comprador. These
are generally bound as our bankers' cheque
books. At the end of every month he returns you
your vouchers, after comparing them with you,
and debits or credits you with the monthly
expenditure. Some people — and I approve of the plan —
give him a cheque to receive with each sum
of money they place in his hands, which he
must produce upon application.
A Comprador, therefore, has necessarily at
times much left in his hands ; of this he often
avails himself by lending it out at interest —
that is, if you are flat enough to let him,
instead of doing it yourself. This Comprador,
acting as he does as steward and cashier, has
another means of acquiring money ; namely,
by the " squeeze." And this squeeze-pidgin
descends in perfect order from the throne to
the beggar.

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ii6 The Englishman in China.
The system of squeezing is admirably de
scribed in Meadows's "Desultory Notes,"
pp. 99, 100. He gives a regular tabular
scale, showing that from the Tsung-tu, or
Governor-General, who receives from Govern
ment £G0, with permission to extort £8,333
per annum, down to the Tung Pan, or Deputy
Sub-Prefect, who is only allowed to rob to
the extent of £176 per annum, as his yearly
salary is but £20 — from the throne to the
beggar, it is squeeze, squeeze, squeeze !
Take the example on the last page. You
have purchased some silk dresses to send
home ; Mr. Kintai Yuen calls for his money,
and receives a cheque, which he carries to
the Comprador's room ; the two will sit down
and smoke whilst they arrange how little the
one will give and the other receive out of
your forty-seven taels.
The costly silk bale goods, the valuable
cargoes of teas, the most paltry twopenny-
halfpenny article, all go through the fingers,
as it were, of your Comprador. I have heard

Opium Smoking. 1 1 7
(mind, I do not vouch for the fact) of an
honest Comprador — peace be with him, and
may his employer never find him otherwise !
But I have my doubts. Your Comprador
has his suite of apartments, of course; they
generally include his banking-room, recep
tion-room, and opium-room, though this is
generally carried on under the mask of only
smoking-room — that is, common tobacco.
True, at the first sound of your approach
ing footstep, the opium a])paratus disa])pears ;
still the couch remains, and it is hard to get
rid of the smell of the drug.
"Have I ever smoked opium?" you Avill
ask. Yes, my friend, I have, several times —
some ten, perhaps — and I can quite'enter into
the feeling which causes them to feel the
habit grow stronger and stronger each time.
I consider it a more enticing thing by far than
our smoking. There is in it that delicious sen
sation, on a warm evening, of feeling yourself
gradually falling off into a balmy sleep under
its soothing influence. I confess I never took

1 1 8 Tlie Englishman in China.
sufficient to send me to sleep in very earnest,
yet the drowsiness was self-evident ; and, be
sides, the effect upon me was greatly lessened
by the number of months Avhich occurred
between the pipes. I have sent you home a
couple of opium-pipes, but, for your edification,
will describe to you how you are to use them.
Throw yourself down on your bed, for want
of the real sofa ; place by your side a small
box (an old percussion-cap box is just the
thing), containing Avhat looks like thick
treacle, but is in reality the drug, Malwa or
Patna, whichever you may choose to smoke ;

OPIUM PIPE.

by the side of this box you have two steel
knitting-needles and a small glass lamp, Avith
bell-shaped glass over it, and open at the top.

Opium Shops. 1 1 9
With one of the needles tip up a small quan
tity of the drug, and twist it round over the
- lamp until it bubbles; press it with the finger
and thumb, and burn again ; then inserting
it into the top of the pipe, Avith your lips at
one end, give a good strong inhalation, hold
your breath, let it escape either by your nose,
ears, or mouth, as most convenient and agree
able ; put doAvn your pipe, sigh deeply, express
immense delight, whether you like it or not,
and go to sleep.
There can be no doubt that the habit is
most generally attended with prostration of
the body, loss of intellect, &c. ; in fact, a con
firmed opium-smoker is just like our dram-
drinker, and is totally unfit for work of any
kind. Tongue hot, head throbbing, and hand
shaking, he comes before you in the morning,
Avith hollow eyes, sunken cheeks, and a skin
like parchment — give him his pipe, and he is
another creature : his hand as steady as yours,
and his wits often much quicker.
About the city and the suburbs you see

120 Tlie Englishman in China.
dirty hovels with closed doors, where poor
wretches creep in when they think no one is
looking, take a couple of sucks, and lie and
sleep out their day in a heavy drunkard's
sleep, — Avanting nothing, caring for nothing,
dead for the time being to all the world. I
confess I can't write a pleasing account of
them ; but if you would be informed as well
as amused, you must take my letters as they
come, as the song says, —
" Or grave or gay, a music of their own."
All, me ! I'd give something to hear those
dear old familiar songs again. What we do
hear out here are all such  But stop, I'm
treading upon rather dangerous ground, be
cause it is partly of ladies I was about to
speak ; and should my letters cA'er travel
back, (wonderful stories of our doings do
return to us most unaccountably sometimes,)
I might suffer from their dire wrath.
By the bye, now I think of it, I remember
your asking me in one of your letters if there
were any ladies in China, as I never men-

Becky Sliarpe. 1 2 1
tioned them. My dear fellow, we have
"heaps!" Of course you must remember
I allude to their crinoline Avhen speaking thus
of them. Yes, I believe we can here, in
Shanghai alone, boast of — let me see, there's
Mrs. A., who may often be seen driving with
a black chimney-pot hat (as if men could not
leave such abominations at home). He's
quite the ladies' man, you must understand,
and takes them out for drives. Then comes
her sister. Miss B. (not married yet), and her
SAveet friend. Miss C, Avho lisps out a yes or
a no sometimes.
It is so sweetly pretty to see these dear
young ladies walking or driving together;
they are of different nations, but that mat
ters not, nor interrupts their mutual affection,
which I have always found is best expressed
by them when they are talking to you of
each other. What was the name of that
character in " Vanity Fair" (I quite forget)
Avho married RaAvdon Crawley — that clever
woman, Becky something ? G

122 The Englishman in China.
In fact, it is difficult to enumerate all the
galaxy of beauty which one daily encounters.
Go on to the French side, and you are startled
with fresh faces ; turn to the American set
tlement, and renewed pleasure awaits you.
Why, if we reckon correctly, there must be
at least a dozen ladies, and nearly all of them
married. But of all our crown brilliants we
have lost the jewel; she who was heart itself,
sincere (a rare quality out here), affectionate,
liberal, and ever seeking to give others plea
sure, is gone. It has pleased Him to take
her to a better place. Let us boAv our heads
and try to follow her example Avhile on earth,
by not talking quite so much behind our
brother's back.
On each anniversary of the Queen's birth
day, H.B.M.'s Consul gives a grand ball, to
which he invites the aiistocracy (?) of the
settlement. The officers of the gun-boats
and men-of-Avar in harbour attend in full
uniform, and bring with them their band,
if they have one. It is rather awkward

A Ball at the Considate. 1 23
when the Queen's birthday falls upon an
occasion of the ships in port being without, a
band, because there is the slight inconve
nience of asking some lady to "oblige the
company." The rooms are tolerably large, the furni
ture tolerably shabby. Some few despe
rate and gold-striped officers have taken the
trouble to go all the round of the ladies a
month ago, and obtained written engagements
for this evening; whereas you and T, my
friend, not caring to risk a coup de soleil to
procure even the pleasure of half a dance,
have Avaited till the evening and found no
chance of a partner, many being obliged to
divide a Avaltz into quarters, alloAving a moiety
of these again to some favoured one.
Let us enter and make our bow to that
very small gentleman in gold. Yes, sir, that
is the representative of Her Majesty Queen
Victoria in these Avaters ; and I blush to add
he has not yet been made a duke.
It is very bad to be prejudiced ; you must
G 2

124 The Englishman in China.
not judge capacity by stature, or you and I
should perhaps be put down as boobies be
cause we stand six feet three in our stockings.
Remember in doing so you lower yourself to
the level of the Chinese, who argue (I know
not Avith Avhat reason) that England must be
a very small place, and the nation a miserable
set. And why, quotha? Because France
sends a bigger man, with more manner and
more lace ?
Make your bow (to royalty, mind), shake
his hand (your sovereign condescends, recol
lect), and receive his smile (Her Majesty is
gracious, remember). Come, pass through
the rooms, acknowledge the ladies' salutes
(lucky dog !), and, with a few " Hoav do's ? "
get into the garden.
Whilst rapid, twisting officers rotate to
slow music in a hot room, we will form into
groups to smoke and chat. Are you tired ?
so am I ; let us get some champagne if it
be decent. We are better without supper.
>' Cooly, Where's my chair?" Come on with

Crinoline. 1 2 5
me to my room, and we will smoke together.
These balls (?), what a bore they are !— two
hundred men in a hot room in May, and the
thermometer gone up out of sight, tAvisting
about with a dozen married ladies, some of
whom can only do a quadrille !
Then why do people go? That's more
than I can say, but my firm belief is, that
not having to dress (as they would be in
clean jackets and trousers either way), and
knowing that every one will betake them
selves to the Consulate Gardens that evening,
and so if you don't, why, you will walk the
Bund in the same happy state of mind as a
solitary night peeler ; therefore, being invited
you go. In this bright world it is much
the fashion to do as others do, and most
true is the saying that one fool maketh
many. Talking of crinoline as I was just now,
I cannot help recurring to it when I think
of one which arrived by last steamer. Such
hoops ! Well may your naughty little street

126 Tlie Englishman in China.
boys make tender inquiries about " your
coopers ! " She is a bride, and the most
gorgeous one you can conceive. The Bund
never was too large, and I declare to you
solemnly that, meeting two ladies the
other day, I had to turn up a side street
while they passed. It is true that one
of them threatened me for doing so, but
fortunately, even with her parasol, she could
not reach, or come near enough to hit me.
But this new arrival beats even that. Her
name is Mrs.  . You 'd like to knoAV,
doubtless. Wait till I have called upon
her, and then you shall have a full, true,
and particular account.
Seated in his " lob-lob chair," by the ve
randah in the cool of the morning, behold
His Serene Highness Chin Chin, Esq.,
knight of the long pipe, and author of
these letters to you. He smoketh his
meerschaum, and demurely cogitateth upon
what this his next epistle shall touch, in
order to fully satisfy thy craving for news

"Early to Bed and Early to Rise." 129
and intelligence regarding those amongst
whom he has been thrown.
It is now half-past five a.m. ; so having
"lighted up," we proceed to ring the bell,
when enter unto us our domestiqite. Re
member it is in the warm weather, and
the sun is not yet too powerful — in fact,
it has hardly decided if it be yet properly
awake. Last evening we sat up a very
great deal too late, and, if the truth must
be told, Jones's last concoction has imbued
our lips with a very dry feeling.
Chin C/im.— Have got any soda-Avater in
the ice-box, boy ?
Boy. — Have got.
Chin Chin. — Pay my one bottle.
Boy. — You Avantchee blarndy ?
Chin Chin. — Yes, more better put littee.
The boy, I must tell you, has not com
pleted his toilet, and those neat blue full
trousers which will by-and-by be carefully
gartered at the knee, and tucked into his
stockings, are now hanging down to his
G 3

ijo Tlie Englishman in China.
ankles ; his feet are bare, and though he has
on his shoes, they are turned down at the
heel. You never yet found a Chinaman who
would not rather go so than put them on like
a Christian. I have seen a native go into
a bootmaker's, buy a pair of shoes, put them
on, and, the moment he was out of the shop,
turn down the heels.
Here come the boy, the soda, and the
" blarndy" Pop ! goes the cork (not the
weasel of ancient legendary talk). " That
belong good piecee bottle," suggests Mr.
Aquong. " Very lucky for you ! " replies his
master. The said " pop ! " has caused more
effects than one, for its sound has made
a head to appear under my half-door, and a
voice inquires, " Any more of that stuff
here ? Boy, catchee my one bottle." After
this an entire body makes its appearance,
dressed like myself in Pajamas, sleeping
shirt, and grass slippers : for you Avill readily
perceive the benefit, nay, the absolute ne
cessity for such apparel in a country where

Pajamas.

131

in summer we only lie on the bed, conse
quently our English costume Avould be very
far from decent.

j> .\

The "stuff" is procured, but we have not
touched it ere a third white AA-alking object
appears, armed with a cup of tea, a cigar, and
a "good morning." Anstver from we two,
" Morning ! " So being seated Ave chat.

132 Tlie Englishman in China.
Chin Chin, or 1*^ Ghost.— Giwag to be hot
to-day, I expect.
Ind ditto. — Blazing ! Are you for a walk ?
1*^ ditto. — No, I tried the course yester
day. It 's all very well while you are there,
but you can't get back before eight, and the
sun comes right through one's hat then.
3rc? ditto. — I wonder whether the mail
will be in to-day. It's due now, you know,
unless they send up that old tub. Lady Mary
Wood.
2nd ditto. — The Aden is due this time : she
took down the mail of the 4th, didn't she ?
1st ditto. — Yes, I'll bet you a dollar she'll
be in to-day. Old Kukee told me yesterday
he knew that Jardine's boat was outside;
go and look.
2nd ditto. — Not I, I'm too tired this morn
ing, and it's too much to ask a fellow to
dress and go out at this time of day ; it
Avon't bring her any quicker. There's Wal
ters passing along the Bund — we'll hail him.
Any signs ? — is she in I

The Mail Arrives. 133
Voice from the Bund. — I expect so. I
hear the large flags are up, but I can't make
out quite clearly, there's such a mist all over
Woosung. A few minutes more and additional infor
mation has been gained. The mist having
partially cleared away, the opium ships at
Woosung, nine miles off, are distinctly visi
ble, and on the mainmast of each is floating
the private flag of the house to Avhich that
vessel belongs.
Look through the telescope; there they
go ! Lindsay's blue, Avhite, and blue flag
floats from the Swallow. Ah ! Captain En-
dicott is thar, / guess, quite as soon ; see, his
old A.n7i Welsh shows her diamond-shaped
red spot. Now the white St. Andrew stands
out on its blue ground, the Lady Hayes
having caught a glimpse of the yellow, red,
white and blue flag of the Peninsular and
Oriental Company's steamer. So have Ariel,
Emily Jane, Folkestone, SivaUow, and Well
ington.

134 Tlie Englishman in China.
Noav comes the point, — Are the mails on
board? Turn to 'Cue Ann Welsh. Has she
another flag fl3'ing? Yes. What is it, and
where placed? American stars and stripes
at the fore. Then it's the mail steamer, sure
enough, as by the placing of these flags he
signals to us whether there be in sight a
man of war, its nation, or a priA'ate steamer,
and if so Avhose, or the Peninsular and Ori
ental, and whether the mails be on board
of her, Avhich she informs him by carrying
at her stern the red ensign Avith a yelloAV
anchor upon it.
Don't go away; I've not half done with
your eyes yet. The opium ships at Woo
sung can see the steamer one hour before she
can arrive there ; but we can often see her
before they do, as all the land opposite is
quite flat to the Yangtze. To-day, however,
they have the start of us. Turning tho glass
from left to right and starting at Woosung,
tell me if you can see anything like smoke ;
and when I cry, " Sister Ann, sister Ann, do

Express. 1 3 5
you see any smoke coming ? " don't play the
rfi*comforter as that sister is said to have
done, and say " Only a flock of sheep."
Watch, do you not see it ? Yes. I thought
so ; Avell, you may now trace it to the anchor
age at Woosung, where the letters will be
placed in the hands of wild-looking China
boys on wilder ponies, and sent up to ns at a
good gallop. Come home now, and eat your
breakfast in peace ; it will take them an hour
yet to arrive.
Breakfast over, the Bund is covered with
white objects in curiously-shaped pith hats,
who, under the shade of umbrellas and in small
atmospheres of tobacco smoke, are discussing
what will be the news. Clear the road
there ; here they come, Russell's pony first ;
no, it is Endicott's : I know his white or
cream-coloured nag.
'Ist Lounger. — Does he bring your letters?
2nd do. — Yes.
At this moment the animal, covered Avith
sweat and dust, passes, and a packet is flung

136 The Englishman in China.
in my face. In a moment I am surrounded
by anxious, inquiring faces. Before I have
time to get well into the envelope, which is
directed by some friends at Hongkong to the
care of Captain Endicott, I am assailed with
questions by not only those who have col
lected, buc others who keep continually run
ning up.
\st Querist. — A Straits' Times?
2nd do. — Silk up or down ?
Zrd do.— Dovm 6d., I'll bet— isn't it ?
4:th do. — How about teas ?
bth do. — What is France doing?
Qth do.' — I say. Chin Chin, let's have the
paper after you.
7th do. — Be quiet and let him read, can't
you? Chin Chin (reads). — We have little neivs by
this oppwtunity. English papers still full of —
3rd Querist. — Oh, bother the English pa
pers ; go on with something else.
Chin Chin (reading). — Parliament dissolved
by the Queen in person —

"Straits Times" 137
Chorus of Querists. — Dissolved ! By Jove !
Well? Chin Chin (continues). — It is rumoured that
Lord Derby — Attempt to kill Louis Napoleon
— Failure of another Scotch bank — (That's
right; one for you, Mac!) — Regret to annotmce
the stoppage of- — oh, here you are! — The money
market has experienced much fluctuation —
(" Has it ? sorry to hear it," says one of the
bystanders, not a proprietor of Bank stock.)
— Consols have fallen again — Horrid murder
and suicide — Reported illness of Miss Clemen
tina Sorphestina, the celebrated — (Bosh ! how
about teas?) — In tea we have sustained a
heavy fall on all kinds, but more especially on
the common Congous. The stock at present is
— (Come, look on ; what's No. 3 quoted ?) —
Silk: The market during the fcrrtnight has
had a decidedly upward tendency, and we quote
No. 3 Tsatlee 2\s. @ 2\s. 6d. ; other sorts
have — (What are the latest odds for the Der
by ? Did Nono win the Two Thousand ?) —
Awful accident on the Great Western; 400

138 The Englishman in China.
lives — (Come, draw it mild. 400, indeed !) —
400 lives placed in jeopardy by — (How about
the Great Eastern f) — placed in jeopardy by —
(Does the Atlantic cable work yet ?)
It is, I find, no use, so give up the paper to
my tormentors; in despair betaking myself
to my room to con over my letters from home.
One from your good old self, full of all the
news, I'll wager a crown to a penny-piece !
The mail has three stages of excitement,
which may be thus placed : — The arrival of
the ponies ; later in the day, or say some five
hours afterwards, the mail boat and the dis
tribution of the heavier portion, — newspapers,
magazines, &c. ; and thirdly, the anchoring in
front of us of the Peninsular and Oriental
Company's steamer next day, and consequent
distribution of "boxes from home."
Do you know that I believe lots of others
feel as I do, though they Avill not admit it ?
I experience just the same excitement that I
did Avhen receiving a box at .school, though
the contents be different, and the plum-cake

A. Box from Home. \2()
and pots of jam be now changed into a fowl
ing piece of latest make and a suit of the last
cut with Avhich to "give the gals a treat!"
as I remember a man once described his
Avalk down Regent-street. But, sad to say,
we have no gals here now,^s one of those of
whom I wrote you has tied herself up, or
rather tied up a man ; and the other has
placed her charms in so prominent a manner
before the eyes of one of the " lords of the
creation," that after (doubtless) arraying him
self in a blue coat, brass buttons, and nankeen
inexpressibles, to say nothing of striped socks
and pumps, he has actually gone down on his
knees and ofl'ered her his heart, his hand, and
his moustaches, with all other and every
appurtenance which the flesh (he himself)
ought, could, would, may, and shall become
heir to. So much for the fascinations of the
fair ones.
As yet I have esca-  ; stay — one of
these men, by the bye, was a thorough miso
gynist, and noAv says, " Chin Chin, my boy.

140 27^1? Englishman in China.
get married. You've no idea of the happi
ness ; besides, look at the position in society
which it gives you. Get married, my boy."
I wonder, for my part, he did not say, " I
know of one just made for you," or, " My
Avife has a charming sister."
By the way, talking of ladies, that reminds
me to Avarn you about betting with them.
The other day, at the races, I made one or
two bets, foolishly thinking it a joke — I mean
those I booked to ladies ; — joke, indeed ! I'll
trouble you for another word. Why, when
settling day came, call me any number of
names if one or two didn't refuse to pay,
saying that they had lost their card, or I
had put the wrong horse down ; quite cer
tain they took the field — j(an outsider Avon).
Perfectly confident, she selected the winner,
because, " Remember, I took four against
your field," said another. (Yes, too true, she
did take four out of seven, three of Avhicli
never started.) Well, the result was, that
what little I had managed to scrape together

The Queens Birthday. 141
downstairs among the rougher sex, was en
tirely spent in paying for gloves said to be lost
to the fairer ones. And as if £10 10s. —
yes, ten pounds ten shillings lawful money —
per dozen Avas not enough for a poor devil to
suffer, they add insult to injury, by quietly
saying, " After all, Mr. Chin Chin, you could
not be so ungallant — you who are always so
attentive and polite — as to hint that the
money could have been spent more dehcately,
or better to the purpose — all in keeping with
your usual good taste." Oh ! a woman's
tongue! Preserve me from that elastic article,
for goodness' sake !
To-day is the Queen's, or Prince Albert's,
something or other, I think. However, it
may be Queen Anne's for what I care ; but it
is a very pretty sight to see the ships all
decked out in their colours. We have Her
Majesty's ships Highflyer, ActcBon, Cruiser,
Avith the Nimrod and Cormorant, and gun
boats Lee, Opossum, and Dove. Then the
French man-of-war — I forget her name — and

142 The Englishman in China.
United States' frigate Powhattan, to say
nothing of ninety-eight merchant vessels,
chiefly British, with the thermometer about
89° in the shade.
Suppose we stand in the verandah — five
minutes to eight a.m. — watch those three
small balls going up to the very tops of the
masts. The sentinel looks at the sun, and
the sun nods, so he (the soldier) fires at no
thing. The bell strikes eight, and the band
strikes up.
Those small balls have received their
signal also, and on hearing " God save the
Queen," they, in their loyalty, burst out into
red, Avhite, and blue ensigns, of extensive
dimensions ; vs'hilst from bowsprit to foremast,
from foremast to mizen, and mizen to stern,
runs one line of pretty flags.
At twelve o'clock we shall have a tremen
dous salute, more " God save our gracious ;"
and, feeling very loj'al and slightly lazy, sup
pose Ave go for a sail when we have had our
tiffin.

The Evening Gun. 14J
At sunset the sentinel will again waste
some poAvder at an imaginary object, telling
people at the same time that they will not
see the sun again that day, Avhereupon Her
Majesty's ships put away their colours. All
the consuls do the same, the example even
taking strong hold upon our merchantmen.
But Avhat is this ? there are some half-dozen
still up, and  boom ! ! That's the Ameri
can steamer's gun, which seems to say, " If
you Avas too near-sighted to see the sun any
longer, yer can contemplate as I wasn't,
thar ! " And, strange to say, they like to,
and do, fire before us in the morning
and after us at night. What a mighty
thing it must be to be so wide-aAvake,
surely !
I don't think I have told you anything
about our sanpans, or native boats, in Avhicli
we are sculled to the various ships. Ill-
formed in shape, flat-bottomed, and cane-
covered articles — until you are accustomed
to them, they are very uncomfortable. They

144 Tlt£ Englishman in China.
Avaddle as they go along, from the motion of
the scull by which they are propelled.

Among the Chinese they have Avhat they
are pleased to term a joke, which they quote
as follows: — Tipan, a chief; maepan, a com
prador ; sanpan, a boat ; swanpan, a calcu
lating board ; and iipan, a fool.
A friend of mine Avas shot into the water
the other evening from one of these rickety
affairs. He had gone to call on one of the
officers on board the guard-shiji, and Avas
standing upon the small deck of his sanpan,
when, on coming alongside of the man-of-
war, he was challenged by the sentinel —
" Who goes there ? "
" A friend ! " " Friend, go round to the
other side." The boatman, knowing enough

A Man Overboard. 145
of English to make this out, twisted his boat
round, and my friend losing his balance Avent
head first into the water. The result was a
wetting to himself, and a good thrashing to
the Chinaman, as a caution to be more careful
next time, and a recommendation to under
stand less English in future.
It is curious to Avatch how the Chinese
carry out their principle of doing everything
diametrically opposite to us. For instance, if
you ask them Avhich is their left car, instead
of at once putting up the hand on that side to
point to it, they will take the trouble to use
the right arm, and, passing it round the back of
their heads, exclaim " Ung," which is between
a grunt, a groan, and an expression of sur
prise. I have been told that the Arabs do
the same.
The other evening returning in my boat
after bathing in the river, I was reclining
gracefully — (query, you will say) — and smok
ing, when I heard something splash into the
water. Thinking one of the jalousies of the
H

146 Tlie Englishman in China.
windows had fallen, I was about to call out
to them to turn round and pick it up, when,
to my surprise, a companion who was Avith me
exclaimed, " It's a man overboard ! " Of
course we looked everywhere, but without
success, and as it was now getting very dark,
I procured two or three sanpans with lanterns
to row about during the night. This was all
I could do, although I felt there was no
chance of recovering the body, and very little
probability of the sanpans working when my
back was turned. They next morning, never
theless, came for the reward I had promised
them. Tho matter formed the subject of
discussion for a few days (particularly as
a boatman had been lost from a foreigner's
boat about a week before), and then was
dropped, and I myself should doubtless have
forgotten all about it, had not my boy come
to me some ten days afterwards, while I Avas
at tiffin, to remind me.
" Master, have catchee that man all light ! "
" Man !— what man ? "

Found Drowned. 147
«
"That piecee boatman have go bottom
side, just now have got outside ; you wantchee
look see he?"
"Am I to rise from tiffin, to see a body
that has been a week under water ? Cer
tainly not!"
" More better you see he, my show he
makee wait!" persisted my boy.
Pleasant — Avas it not ? — to be requested to
do the coroner Avhilst in the middle of eating,
to say nothing of the politeness of the body
which was prepared to wait ! However, as
there Avas no help for it, I had to submit.
Having satisfied my hunger, at the risk even
of being made sick, I went out on to the
Bund, and perceived a sanpan, a corpse being
towed behind it partly covered with matting.
But I confess I was thoroughly posed when
asked by Aquong, —
" You wantchee he ? What thing my
more better do along he ? "
" Take it away, and bury it, of course ! "
I returned to the house, and was about to
H 2

148 Tlie Englishman in China.
enter when I was assailed by an old woman,
a young ditto, and any quantity of children,
who as I approached tumbled down upon
their knees and uttered frightfiil shrieks and
lamentations. They were "got up" in Avhite
funeral array, and wished me to under
stand they were the mother, Avidow, and
children of the floating mass in the distance.
There was no help for it ; so, giving them
five dollars for the burial, and ten for them
selves, I rejoiced in being able thus easily to
get rid of the whole affair.
Six or seven days afterwards, when I
imagined the old gentleman was comfortably
tucked into his last resting-place, I was in
deed surprised, on meeting a friend, to learn
that if I would walk round to the American
side, I could see him high and dry, covered
over with the identical piece of matting. So
this then was all a sham, in order to extort
money. These same dollars would be divided
something as follows : — the comprador, one
for paying my boy ; my boy, two for himself;

Our Theatre. 149
and half a one for the sanpan man. The
rest, I have no doubt, was eaten and drunk by
the surviving male relatives of the would-be
widow. We have a theatre — don't stare, it is a
positive fact — an amateur theatrical corps,
and very well indeed they act. The theatre
itself has been twice or thrice moved, but I
hardly think the last place so good as the
others : perhaps this is from a remembrance
of the great amusement I recollect having
derived at the previous houses when I first
arrived. The season lasts from March to May, or
April to June. It consists of three entertain
ments only. This may perhaps surprise you,
but you must bear in mind the difficulties
against which the corps have to contend.
We will start with the very walls, and I think
I shall be able to give you some idea of the
excessive amount of labour, and the nume
rous petty annoyances concurrent on having
to deal Avith natives, who, having never seen

150 The Englishman in China.
an English theatre, are quite at a loss to
imagine what it can be like, and therefore do
not — cannot — grasp the suggestions thrown
out to them.
Some half-dozen friends are dining toge
ther by agreement, in order to fairly discuss
a topic which has been hinted at in the set
tlement, and hoped for in the newspaper.
" The Theatre — Are ave to haa'e it this
Season?" You and I will accompany le
Diable Boiteux, have a glimpse at the small
party, and hear their discussions.
Mine Host. — "Come, let us start this all-
important subject. It seems to me we 7nust
keep up the old charter, and if we have de
faulters from our old lines, surely we can find
plenty of fresh stock to graft onto the old tree.
Now the questions arise. Where can we get a
room ? and who will undertake the manage
ment? I for one decline that post, but will
cheerfully give all the assistance in my power.
Beverley Newconie will paint; the best of
' Jeameses ' who ever appeared on any boards,

The End of the Wedge. 151
for 'property-man,' and our hard-working
Charsee to look after the joiners. We only
want a director."
This subject is discussed, each of the par
ties appealed to flatly deciding they will have
nothing more to do with the adjective theatre ;
and after plenty of cigars and argument, they
all separate, each fancying himself stauncher
than ever in his resolve ; whilst, when they
are gone, their host thus chuckles to himself:
" The end of the wedge is in — a fcAv more
pushes and I shall have them all, and a better
lot of operatives cannot be found ; each knows
his own department so well separately, yet,
feeling aware of the other's difficulties, can
assist him at a push."
What is the result? That, ten days after
wards, this indefatigable fellow has signed
and sealed an agreement with the owner of a
large godown (capable of holding six or seven
hundred people) for the space of four calendar
months, at a rental of, &c., &c., all in due
form. He has also in his possession a con-

152 The Englishman in China.
tract, signed by a respectable Chinese builder,
to construct a stage of a certain size, remove
the door of entrance from one end of the
building to the other, make a ceiling, and
planter the walls, besides other things too
numerous to mention.
Armed with these documents, he again
summons a solemn conclave, the result of
which is that you may, perchance, hear on
the Bund the next day: —
\st Lounger — "By the bye, have you
heard we are to have the Theatre again ? "
2nd do. — "No, I am sure we can't, — •
there is no manager ; and besides, where are
they to perform ? "
Ast do. — "Passing by Harglee Godown
just noAv, I saw twenty or thirty coolies
cleaning it out, under Chongfat's direction ;
what can they be preparing, if not a theatre ?
Added to this, I met Newcome, Avith a mea
suring tape in his hand, talking to that old
Canton colourman, this morning; and, were
further proof wanting, behold five of the old

Tlie Work Commenced. 153
corps in quiet confab, yonder. Now, what
say you ? "
2nd do. — " That, verily, thou art a prophet
in a strange country. What will they act ?
I suppose there'll be no doubt about little
Brushwood, as usual. I'll tell you what, I'll
bet you he has some part where he will shave
off his whiskers, and that that will take place
the last night of the season — he couldn't do
Avithout it."
1*^ do. — " The painters will have their
work pretty Avell cut out. Why, the walls
are plain brick ; how will they cover them ?
— with Gobelin tapestry, perhaps ?"
2nd do. — " Besides, you forget we are
already getting on: why, they cannot have
more than six weeks to do the whole."
On the following Saturday we may, per
haps, read in the
" It is with the greatest delight that we
" are enabled to hold out to our readers
H 3

154 The Englishman in China.
" the prospect of our clever corps dramatique
" again appearing before ns. Winter seems
" winter (consequently cold), and summer
" really summer (and therefore hot), without
" their mirth-inspiring presence. We are as
" yet not at liberty to disclose facts which
" have come to our ever-Avatchful eye and
" ear; but this we may, we believe, state,
" that a most able manager has at last been
" induced to undertake that arduous post,
" for which he has already shown himself so
" fitted, and from which he was known to
" retire with the thanks and congratulations
" of the community. There can be no doubt,
" therefore, of his collecting many of our old
" favourites together ; and that, with a new
" theatre, and pencillings from the brushes
" of our scenic artists, we may indeed look
" forward to a real treat."
Allons! Monsieur le Diable, etvos deux batons,
conduct us to Harglee Godown. The door has
been altered, and there are a dozen carpen-

Sawing Wood. 155
ters in the roof, making a ceiling. At this
end three Canton men are erecting the stage.
The walls are losing their roughness under a
new coat of plaster. In the middle of the
building four men are hard at work saAving
up the planks ready for use.

SAWING WOOD.

Curious is their mode of sawing up timber.
I -give you a sketch, to assist my description.
The saw points, in its teeth, two ways, these
meeting at the middle, so that the up and
down motions each cut. Hammer, hammer,
hammer ! — saw, saw, saw !
Poised on the uncertain elevation of an

156 The Englishman in China.
unfinished part of the stage, stand the mana
ger, the scene-painter, and the Chinese builder.
Painter. — " I must have the full dimen
sions at once, so that I can set to work with
the proscenium. This must be got through
before all else."
Manager. — " Right, O dauber ! Well, we
have agreed to have it eight feet wider than
the old one, and a few feet higher. Have
you finished your design ? "
Painter. — " Ecce sketchum. Behold the
sketch — as Alharabraic as your most fanciful
mind could desire. Will that do ? "
Manager. — " A fearfully elaborate affair
indeed ! You have given yourself too much
work, I fear, with all that intricate interlacing.
Is it not so ? Remember we have little time
and much to do."
Painter. — " N'ayez pas peur, mon cher. I
remove this difficulty in the most simple
manner. I intend having the proscenium
made of light laths, covered with canvas ;
this again with paper, on which a good coat

Hard at Work. 157
of white paint. This is my ground. I have
procured paper of various colours, red, blue,
gold, &c. These I cut into strips, and paste
on, so that I can interlace them one Avith
another. When one panel is finished, I
roughly sketch out the same design on the
others, and leave two '•pastermen ' to put on
the coloured papers ; so that I can be going
on with the drop-scene and walls Avhile they
do the front, and from time to time I will
look them up."
Manager. — " What do you propose for a
drop? It is quite ready — shall we hang the
canvas up in the body of the theatre for you ?"
Painter. — " Yes, get it up at once, please.
I mean to give you an old baronial hall, for a
change." In two weeks proscenium is finished, drop-
scene half done, the place cleared of work
men, the walls tinted a pale lemon, Avith a
few pillars covered with artificial flowers, and
a nice white ceiling.
Meetings have taken place at various

158 The Englishman in China.
houses, the pieces discussed, and the play-bill
sent to the printer, and all in full train. Here
is one of the many play-bills, which I have
picked out for your edification. Of course I
send you a gentleman's bill : the ladies' are
printed upon satin, and most gorgeous to
behold. Call that nothing of a bill ? " I'll trouble
you for a muster," as our Yankee neighbours
say. Great are now the preparations ; the
rehearsals have commenced.
It is half-past seven o'clock. The foot
lights are lighted, the stage swept. In the
body of the hall hangs an immense sheet of
canvas, in front of which is a platform,
whereon walks a figure clothed in blue cotton
trousers, blue shirt tied round the waist, a
red beard and moustache, and a cap of blue
cloth, a pipe in his mouth, and his hands
full of paint-brushes. At his feet are twenty
paint-pots, and below him, on terra Jirma,
two coolies, ready to follow his orders and
render him assistance. Looking on, and

THEATRE ROYAL, SHANGHAI.

TUESDAY, MARCH 16th, 1858.
EuBOLDRNED by the generous reception accorded to tlicirpreviouB efforts, the Amateur
Dramatic Corps again venture to appear on tlie Shanghai boai'ds; and if, in their
attempt lo reproduce, lor the amusement of their friends, the foUowine episodes of the
seventeenth and nineteenth centtivies, they succeed in clieiiing a smile irom the fair,
Hud a cheer from the sterner portion of tlie audience, the Lndiea and Gentlemen of the
Corps will feel that their exertions to i)lea8e have not been in vain.
TUTS EVKNTNO WTLT, nn pnESKNTRT) THE COMEDY IN TWO ACTS OF
CljiirUs iljc ^ijtoitij; or, tijc Ifcrvy ||toniu'tIj.
KING CIIAIUjESII  Mil. llnvKui.nv Ni'.wcnMi',.
ROCinOSTIili,  Mr. lUnuuM.
EUVVAIU) la paije)  Mk. Tintinnabui.um.
Cai'T. COri' (mine Host of the " Gmiid Admiral,")  Mil. lir.NJAMlN BuJSTKK.
WMTCR  .'  Mr. llTZ llKRUKKT KiNKKR,
I'lliaT JiEKl'-EA-TEft  Mr. Jkamks di; Lai'Lusiie.
SECONII Do.  Mr. Cai'iucornus.
LADY CLARA  Mns. Ciiickweed.
MAEY {the mlofled Danr/hUr of Coffi)  Mas. Nesbit.
ScESE :— Partly in the Uoyal 'Palace, and partly in "ye Hoslelrie of ye Grand Admiral,"
\\ apping.
PERIOD— 1678.
TO BE FOLLOWED BY THE MIRTII-INSPIBING ONE-ACT FARCE OF
%% fihe tts Ctoa |)tirs.
By Hkubert Ltlle.
Mn. UICJIARDR (a Lmntjer)  Ma. Ctnciii.ATi Kot.ler.
Mr. rKrrcIIARDS... { (" -,;^ ii'iL'^j;.) ".'.'..'!..'::;! j «- J""™-- B— woo«,
rillLlP (a model serrant)  Jla. Jeames de Laplushe.
Mas. RICHARDS {R.'s better half)  Maa. Nesbit.
Mrs. PRITCHAUUS {the better-half of P.)  ,. Mas. Walters.

Messrs. Phu and Mor have again kindly consented to display their brilliant musical
Sowers, and will perform during tlic Evening a choice selection of Overtures and Operatic
lorccaiuc. The Management ia indebted to tlic ready pencils of Messrs. Hevrrley Kewcomk
and Spoil, ITT for some gorgeous scenic effects; and the former talcnled artist brings
forward an entirely new Drop Scene, representing "Asliton Hall, Walton-on-Thanies,"
one (if IhoflO liajipv MontCB of Old Mngland wbieli nave been the frcf|m;iit, worthy theme
ol ixietB' song, imtl which arc and ever will be the, jiiHt jiriile of her Hoiip. In the elegiirit
toilettes of tite various rharaeters will be rceogntzcd ihe nuisler hands of several ccie-
biated Native Costumiers, guided and niodilied in several instaiicea, however, hy a more
refined taste and a more disinterested aid, from gentle liands which "touch but to
adorn." DOORS OPEN AT HALF-PAST SEVEN.
PERFORMANCES TO COMMENCE AT EIGHT PRECISELY.

The Favour of your Company is requested.
VIVAT EEaiNA.

i6o The Englishman in China.
smoking, are two others, who are covered
with particles of dust, paint, shavings, cloth,
and all things wliich do appertain unto " pro
perty-men." They have been hard at work
since four or five o'clock that afternoon, and
fancy they may as well go home and get a
little dinner.
\st Property-man. — " Well, painter, do you
mean to stop or not, because I'm off to get
a snack ? '
2nd do. — " You two had better come home
and have some with me, and then we can all
come back to rehearsal."
Painter. — " Is to-niglit a rehearsal ? Bother
the thing ! I'm just in the humour for paint
ing to-night. However, needs must, they say,
when you have a satanic Jehu ; off with us,
then — we can wash our hands at your place.
Here, you cooly, makee pay my tung tung
parker (plenty white), that blue all same
before time ; litty that led (red) colour, and
too muchy that black — sarby?"
Cooly. — " All light, my sarby ; belong my
maky bling parker, led, beloo, belack."

A " Painterman." i6i
Painter. — " Yes, must wantchee, eight
o'clock, truly. Suppose you no bring, my
pay you bamboo."
Cooly. — " lyah ! how can ? Must wantchee
go inside long way makee catchee ; can
bling mintin (to-morrow)."
Painter. — " Mintin be thingamied ! Sup
pose you no bring eight o'clock, my cut your
wage." \st and 2nd Property-men (in the distance).
— " Now then, old dauber, are you coming ?
We're off."
They are all back by half-past eight ; the
place is empty — no one has yet come to the
rehearsal, no paints have arrived by the pro
crastinating cooly. One property-man (or
rather, in his capacity, stage manager) sug
gests that, as the dauber wants paints to go
on with, and being at a stand-still, he (the
painter) had better assist him (the stage
manager). " What is wanted ? "
" Oh, nothing ; only the ropes of the fall
for the curtain won't act."

1 62 The Englishman in China.
The blue shirt and trousers, of course, can
have no objection to get into the roof, and,
by balancing himself on the rafters, put all
straight; but he is implored to be very care
ful what he is about, because the least slip of
his foot would send him through the ceiling,
and it would be such a pity to spoil that
now it is finished. No thought is given
about his neck being broken by a forty-feet
fall. Enter a gentleman in evening costume,
who regrets he wasn't able to come before,
but really he's only called to say he can't
attend at all to-night, as he is going out
to a 
" Below, there ! — have you caught it ? "
Caught it without a doubt, for the youth
in the rafters, not seeing the youth in the
full dress, has sent a rope down upon bis
head, accompanied by a shower of dust and
cobwebs shocking to behold. Growl he may,
but all the consolation he receives is, —
" Serve you right for not coming in proper

1 6th March. 163
clothes ; why don't you stick to your re
hearsals ? "
Time — that wonderful wearer down of all
things — passes on, and will pass on, whether
we have theatricals in Shanghai or not.
.Five weeks have elapsed, the scenery is
finished, parts have been studied, rehearsals
have taken place, carpets borrowed for the
fair ones' feet in the front rows of the audi
ence, chandeliers are hung down the centre,
the scenes are all numbered, artificial flowers
grace the front of the stage, a grand piano
stands in the corner, and the residents are
kindly sending in as many chairs as they can
afford. The day arrives at last. Five Europeans
and as many coolies are putting the finishing
touches. The stage manager is trying his
slides for the twentieth time, seeing how
easily the darkening board goes up and down.
The property-man is ushering in two coolies
laden with a jar of oil and lamp-wicks, whilst
some ten others wait their turn at the stage-

164 The Englishman in China.
door to be attended to, each the bearer of
some necessary article for his department.
The manager walks round — helping, asking,
suggesting — that nothing may be wanting.
Two others are hanging coloured paper lan
terns on the trees at the entrance, and fixing
up an awning. The scene-painter is rush
ing about, brush in hand, followed by three
coolies carrying all his paint-pots. A couple
of Canton carpenters are refixing some un
ruly slide or wing. All is hubbub. Listen to
them — manager, stage manager, property-
man, scene-painter, and two assistants, one of
whom, by the bye, is one of the ladies in the
first piece, besides the various coolies.
Prop. — " Where do you come from ? "
Cooly. — " Misser Fogg house ; my bring
oily and one piecy chit."
Prop, (reads). — " ' One jar of oil, four
dozen lamp-wicks, one pot varnish,' — who
ordered varnish? — (louder) Did any of you
fellows order varnish from Fogg's ? "
Man. — " Newcome ! "

The Painter wanted. 165
Painter (Voice comes from the ceiling). —
« Holloa ! "
Man. — " Did you order varnish ? "
Painter (Voice from quite another spot). —
" Yes." Stage M. — " Where's that fellow ? Here,
just bring your pots, will you ? — this old wo
man's face is nearly rubbed out. Paint in
something, do please, as quick as you can,
because  part of that drawing-room scene
is torn : a dab of paint will do it."
Painter rushes frantically about, dabbing
old women's faces and mending drawing-
room scenes accordingly, his very spare
moments being interspersed with a little
nailing, a little sweeping, a little flower
arranging, and a little chair disposing.
Five o'clock: They all retire to dinner.
The place is quite cleared save of two coolies
who attend at the door to admit only the
actors or their servants and boxes. The
green-room has a little stove alight, a little
sherry on the. table with a few biscuits, a

1 66 Tlie Englishman in China.
cask of bitter beer, and all is still. Half-
past seven : The doors are unbolted, the new
house opened, and in rush the audience,
taking such seats as they think best, reserv
ing of course the front chairs and carpet for
the ladies, though I confess to having seen
even this piece of politeness and courtesy
broken through. The blue velvet curtain is
down; in front of it pretty dresses are
assembling, behind it eager faces are trying
to get a peep at the " state of the house."
Eight o'clock : A bell, deep silence, the blue
curtain rises, the drop-scene and proscenium
show in full glory, and a glorious hurrah
rings through the house. Another bell, a
small but exceedingly well-spoken manage
rial speech upon the opening, and the drop
rises upon the palace scene.
I won't bother you with a description of
it ; suffice it to say, one and all did their
best, and all went off very well. Captain Copp
was a real " host of a hostelry ;" Mary looked
and acted very prettily ; Lady Clara resplen-

Charles II. 1 67
dent in jewels ; the Beef-eaters most hearty
and English-looking, their dresses so faultless
that one almost fancied oneself iiisido the
Tower with a party of country cousins about
to visit the Regalia; and his Majesty and
Rochester had managed most cleverly to
contrast their dresses, the former appearing
in black velvet, and the latter in rose-coloured
satin. How they managed to procure those
long flowing locks, is a marvel to this mo
ment with many besides myself.
The stage not being large, I think great
credit was due to the stage manager, who
threw a broad staircase up so high that the
top was hardly visible to many of the visitors.
At the top of this were stationed the two
beef-eaters, who, throwing aside a curtain,
showed his Majesty, who now descended,
followed by them, the crimson stair-carpet,
throwing up his black dress to perfection, his
only ornaments being a diamond star on his
breast and a buckle of brilliants in his hat,
confining a large sable plume which fell

1 68 The Englisliman in China.
gracefully over his shoulder. Rochester's
dress, as I have already told you, was most
beautiful. But 1 must bring this long story to a con
clusion, or I shall wear out your patience, if
I have not already done so. Suflice it, then,
that the after-piece elicited roars of laughter,
— Roller and Brushwood, two very short and
very fat little fellows, apparently vying with
each other as to who should be the most
ridiculous. Remember, this is only one description, —
numbers of pieces have I seen quite as good;
but having picked out that play-bill hap
hazard, I felt bound to go through with it.
Again, though Beverley Newcome may have
some small skill in painting, he does not
carry it out with the same care that Random
exhibits; and we now possess a drop-scene
equal to anything on the London boards, — a
view of Lake Como, most carefully and truth
fully painted by Mr. Random. At the end
of each season there is a supper given to the

Our Roads.

169

corps alone, and it is a strange sight to see
the whole of them marching through the set
tlement, preceded by a band of music if they
Can get one, all in the dresses in which they
have just left the stage, and to hear the
pseudo ladies requesting after supper that
some kind friend might be allowed to loosen
their dress behind.
When next I write I must select another
subject for a change. At present, adieu !
To one accustomed to taking a good walk
upon a turnpike-road, our ways are most
puzzling. Par exemple, — you wish, as in my
sketch, to go froni A to B. Try your utmost,

then, and see how roundabout a way you
must take to arrive at your destination. I

lyo Tlie Englishman in China.
On Friday evening last I went in my boat
to ^ small town called Chunzue, — a poor,
miserable little place in itself; but I was
thoroughly compensated by three brace and
a half of pheasants, besides a few pigeons.
On Sunday morning, leaving my boat and
shouldering njy fowling-piece, I started, ac
companied by my cook Soyer and my dogs, for
the Yangtze Kiang, which, you remember, is
the broad river into which flows our Woosung
river. After skirting the walls of Chunzue
for a quarter of a mile, we came to a small
creek, and found upon inquiry that our nearest
and best course was to follow its windings,
though they appeared often to double and
bring us back. In about an hour we reach
the first bund, or earthwork raised to resist
the high tides and overflowing of the river.
Along this we walked, as our friendly guide
the stream had ceased to exist. It was a
carefully-made earthwork, some twenty feet
wide at the top, sloping gradually to forty or
fifty feet at the base. The top was a well-

A Hooded Hawk. 171
made road, from whence you commanded a
view as far as the eye could reach, all flat
land on the right, and the distant Yangtze
on the left. As we walked along we met
a man with a hooded hawk on his finger^
but he did not exhibit its capabilities-
Descending the sloping side of the bund
and crossing several fields, we came to a
second but smaller one, and from this to a
third, less iii size and much broken down, as
if the water had had a great effect upon it.
From this last river- wall extended a perfect
swamp, through which one or two roads
might be traced. The rushes growing therein
were being gathered into buffalo carts by men;
women, and children ; and I watched with
delight that every now and then a few early
ducks were startled from their hiding-places.
Choosing the driest path, I bent my steps
towards the river's edge, and in about twenty
minutes reached it. My objects in coming
were twofold : first, to discover the nearest
road from Chunzue, and, secondly, a faint
I 2

172 The Englishman in China.
hope that I might be able to secure a speci
men of the beautiful cranes which inhabit
this part. The first I had performed; imagine
ray delight, therefore, at seeing far off in the
distance some dark objects moving along.
They were then about half a mile off, so 1
prepared for the attack. Soyer carried, be
sides ammunition, a long-range rifle. I there
fore handed him my foAvling-piece, and loaded
my rifle. We walked on quietly until we
had reduced the distance by more than half,
and I could distinctly see four splendid cranes
standing quietly looking at the water, their
backs turned towards me. Here I ordered
Soyer to stop with my dogs, and walked on.
The only cover was a slight rise in the ground
about a hundred yards from them. To gain
this was my first object, and I succeeded in
doing so without being discovered by crawl
ing on all fours. Arrived there I examined
my caps, and finding all right I took a deli
berate and steady aim at the nearest, a male
bird that had just presented its breast to me.

Sogers Shooting. 173
¦when bang, bang ! sounded in my ears, and in
another moment my dogs were at my side.
In my surprise I lost my opportunity for a
shot, and the birds were now quite out of
range. Turning round I saw Soyer stretched at
full length on the ground, and of course came
to the conclusion he had shot himself. I
confess for the minute the thought of how I
should get my dinner without him did enter
my head. A carefully administered kick,
however, had a surprising effect upon his
vitality; and I then discovered that he had
been holding the gun with his fingers on both
triggers, and it had gone off — at least that was
his version — and th&,t he had tiot touched the
hammers. I fancy, however, otherwise, as I
am not in the habit of carrying a gun on full
cock when there is nothing to shoot at, and I
have half a dozen miles to walk. But, never
theless, it was a lesson to him, and he was so
frightened that I had the greatest diflGiculty

174 Tl''^ Englisliman in China.
in making him carry it again. I was, as you
may suppose, greatly annoyed at losing my
birds, especially as, after walking for two
hours, I only saw them once again, and then
they were off, before I could get within even
my rifle shot. In revenge, I shame to own
it, I shot about twenty snippets and ate them
for dinner, one when roasted being rather
smaller than a half-crown.
Though I waded up to my middle I could
not manage to bag a duck, so, contenting
myself with my pheasant luck, I journeyed
back to my boat. By the bye, did you ever
try wading in high boots, and experience the
delight of. that moment when, by an unlucky
step, you go a little too deep, and the water
comes over the tops and fills them. How
reckless you get as to depth after that one
false step !
As soon as I regained my boat I was glad
to get dry things on, and have some dinner;
telling my lauder to go back by Nang Yie,

Fact, Fun, and Fiction.

^75

another small city. This was our journey
there and back, and you will see the Bunds,
by my sketch. YANGTZE RIVER

SHANGHAI®^
SHANGHAI TO KAHO TIE.
The Chinese here had a report yesterday
that Canton was taken, the losses being
5000 Chinese and 300 English. Last week
it was 100 natives and 5000 foreigners or
barbarians. This looks as if they were
changing their tone.
A paper has been started, called " Fun,
Fact, and Fiction," the death of which may
be looked for early, I should say ; they, how
ever, give us this mouth a very amusing ac
count of an excursion to the hills, in which

176 TltiC Englishman in China.
four gentlemen, consisting of a naval officer,
the editor of a newspaper, a merchant, and a
silk inspector, played prominent parts. It
appears they had gone up in three boats, and
were stopping at the foot of the Joss-house
Hill to arrange their plans and discuss the
propriety of ascending in the heat, when the
mast of one of their boats, catching the mast
of one of the native boats at anchor, turned it
round, thereby causing it to touch another, and
that another, and that another, which broke a
piece of wood about the size of your finger be
longing to an adjoining boat (if you can under
stand such a description). The owner of this
piece of wood demanded seven hundred cash,
somewhere about three-and-sixpence. All this
had occurred unknown to the travellers, as
well as the demand for, and refusal of, the
compensation; which had been carried on
between one of the servants and the before-
mentioned proprietor. The first intimation
was the removal of the doors of the leading
boat by the villagers, as well as the poles and

The Battle Of Four. 177
other appurtenances. Seeing this, traveller
No. 1 takes back his property, which is im
mediately recaptured. An explanation is
requested, seven hundred cash demanded, and
fifty offered. This leads to a general row.
One old woman, leading the fair sex, assails
our four friends with lumps of sun-dried mud,
which are cleverly warded off by the umbrella
of the noble captain, who places himself on
the defensive. The literary member of society
goes helter-skelter in among them, seizes one
by the throat, and in the strongest English,
not one word of wliich the victim understands,
proceeds to inform him of his intention to
spiflBicate him there and then.
Our man of commerce, meanwhile, is en
deavouring to obtain the oldest inhabitant, in
order to enter into a treaty, offensive and
defensive, betM^een the belligerents. Of our
silk inspector I know more, and I had best
give you an idea of what he was about, by
quoting his own words to me on his return
home : — " While I was attempting to explain
I 3

178 The Englishman in China.
matters, D  suddenly called out, ' For
God's sake, look out, G  ! ' At that mo
ment a huge bamboo was coming down upon
my head, which I fortunately was able to
ward off with my umbrella, for even my pith
hat would not have saved my pate had it
fallen. Another man, taking advantage of
the moment, poked an immense piece of wood
at my stomach. This was too much ; I there
fore struck out, and reaching him just between
the eyes, he went down most beautifully. I
was quite charmed, it was such a lovely drop,
and proved that that knowledge which had
so often stood my friend in London rows was
still within me. As I had a large gold ring
on my little finger at the time, I leave you
to guess how nice he looked in ten minutes
afterwards.'' While all this was going on the villagers
were by no means idle ; some had broken all
the windows of the leading boat, others col
lected large stones on the top of a bridge
under which the party attacked must pass.

T%e Ringleaders Sentence. 179
Order being at last restored by the elder
of the village, the boats were allowed t(>
depart ; but on reaching the settlement the
travellers immediately laid the case before
the consul, who sent into the city to the
Cheheean; the police magistrate promised
to punish the ringleader.
Knowing, however, he would merely take
some poor wretch out of prison and flog him
as the party, the consul sent again to demand
two Chinese police; and these, next day,
accompanied by two English ones and the
lauder of one of the boats, went back to the
village and seized the man who appeared to
have been the ringleader.
• The Cheheean sentenced him to wear a
heavy quang and chains for three weeks all
day in the sun. The accusers, however, were
satisfied with one week ; and this, doubtless,
the culprit managed to get made into less
time. Besides, no doubt the quang was
taken off at night. ¦ I saw him two or three
times and it ^yas wonderful to see him go

i8o Tlie Englishman in China.
down on his knees when one of the four
travellers passed.

(JUAHO.

The point, however, was gained, and the
moral effect produced upon the village was
quite astonishing. I believe the whole vil
lage chin-chins any of these boats when it
sees them.
Here is a small sketch of some pipes and
their accompaniments, which I have num
bered in order to describe to you : —

Chinese Pipes.

i8i

OHINKSB PIPES.

1 and 2. — -Ladies' pipes, three feet long,
with ivory mouthpiece and brass bowl.
3 and 4. — Men's ditto, with brass ditto,
ditto. 5. — A dish of tobacco.
6. — A hubble-bubble, or water-pipe ; the

1 8 5. Tlie Englishman in China.
small tube a is removed from B, and blown
through after each pipe, as seen in the larger
view, c ; they hold enough for one puff only,
and are generally made of copper, the better
ones being white metal.
7. — An opium-pipe.
8. — Tobacco-pouch.
9. — Opium-lamp.
1 0. — Opium-box.
11. — A common piece of bamboo, used by
the poorer class as a pipe, without mouth
piece or bowl, the tobacco being merely stuck
into one end.
12. — Opium-sticks.
13. — A joss-stick on its stand — a light
ready for your pipe.
14.— A bamboo box holding paper spills,
which will keep burning as long as you
hke. These are all the pipes that they use. I
have discovered about sixteen kinds of
tobacco, which taste like decayed vegetable
matter and hay mixed.

Our Races. 183
My other sketch is a Chinese sword, made
of iron, polished ; the handle of black wood
and roughly cast brass. In the blade are
inlaid seven copper spots, which will enable
you, by the blessing of Joss, to kill your

SWORD FROM SOOOHONO.

enemies. I bought it in Soochow ; but I
reserve until another letter an account of my
trip to this wonderful and, as yet, secretly
kept city.
Spring having set in, our "stables" are
beginning to look about them. New horses
have been imported, fresh ponies brought
down from Karding. Yesterday the Penin
sular and Oriental Company's steamer Aden
brought up from Hongkong two horses which
had been purchased there, and one which
had come from Swan River, Australia. This
last is said to be a little wonder, and will be
put up to auction in a few days. Suppose

184 Tlie Englishman in China.
we take a walk round the course before
breakfast, and see the training.
Our race-course is in some fields at the
back of the settlement, ,and is supported by
a subscription which entitles you to admission
to the grand stand at the race time, and to
ride or drive at all times round the ring ; no
galloping being allowed after a certain hour
in the day, in order to avoid accidents whilst
the carriages are there.
Muffled up in flannel and great-coats are
the various members of our community who
intend to ride (as of course ours are all
gentlemen jocks). They are now in training,
and have left off their beer and taken to hard
exercise, in order to bring themselves down
to the required weights.
The largest stables here are the " Mac
kenzie," the " Fung Mow," and the " Quong-
loong" — known by their respective colours of
Crimson, Tartan, and Blue and white. The
first is owned by one individual, whose perse
verance and excellent riding have caused him

Our Race Course. 185
to carry off most of the prizes. The almost
certainty with which " scarlet" is looked for
as a winner, rather takes away from tho plea
sure of the races.
The second stable, like the third, is known
by the title by which the hong goes, and is
composed of several owners, who, joining
thus together, form one " stable."
Let us suppose the training accomplished,
and the two days, Wednesday and Thursday,
fixed for the spring meeting. Curious have
been the watchings and timeings of the
opposition. " Will Tartan venture old Cheer
ful against Canrobert?" "What place will
Lady Ann take ?" "A jockey has been mar
ried since last autumn — will his wife let
him ride ? " " How about the Consolation
Stakes ? " " Will Vanguard be entered now
he is in fresh hands?" "Will any one be
found to mount the vicious beast ? " These
and a hundred more questions are stirring all
over the settlement.
The course — about a mile in length — is

1 86 The Englishman in China.
oval, and owns a grand stand, a flagstaff, a
winning post, a pair of scales, and such and
sundry mysteries which unto races proper do
appertain. On its high days and holidays it
sporteth a white flag, on which is painted ahorse
and jockey going at full speed. The ground-
floor is devoted to refreshment and weighing
rooms, whilst upstairs a large verandah runs
round three sides, and there it is one beholds
all that galaxy of beauty for which we are
so justly celebrated.
It is nearly two o'clock, tiffin is over, the
settlement is thronging on to the course, the
natives lining the rails, and the subscribers
the stand. Now carriages with fair occupants
drive up, bonnets which have como out by
last overland make their appearance, the
newest cut in mantles is produced, and mus
lins are in great demand.
Ah me! for the time when that sweet
lady — whom I told you we had lost — used
to drive up with her four ponies. The
panels of her carriage were ornamented each

Spmriing Devices. 187
race-day with some new and appropriate crest
and motto. Now she will have a jockey
thrown from his horse, encircled with "Better
luck next time;" again, a clothes-horse on
which the jacket, cap, boots, and saddle of a
jockey are hung, around which the garter
informs the beholder " Je suis toujours pret ; "
anon, and we have a beautiful little horse
and very large rider, with the words "Though
least, not last."
But a short while longer, and coloured
caps appear, driven up in different " traps."
A scarlet cap is in view, together with a
heavy white driving-coat, from beneath which
a pair of tops a])pear. Now tartan, blue,
yellow, green, and black may be distinguished
among the crowd at the stand.
The bell rings to saddle, and the thick
coats are doffed, to the delight of the ex
pectant spectators. Near the stand are
temporary sheds erected, and it is towards
these that our colours are severally wending
their way. The preliminary canter over.

i88 The Englishman in China.
they move on to the starting-point, and ere
long the words " They're off ! " are shouted
from the verandah, and taken up by those
below. " Here they come — White's race — No,
blue has it — Can't do the pace — Canrobert's
ahead — Sidney's to win, the other is only
making the running — Sidney ! Sidney ! Up
go the numbers 4, 2, 1 — Sidney, Cheerful,
and Canrobert."
Pop-pop goes the champagne, chatter-
chatter the ladies' tongues, and puff-puff
the men's cigars. Here follow the Hack
Stakes, Shanghai Cup, tlie Woosung Plate, the
Arab Cup, the Consolation Stakes, and several
pony races, in all of which Canrobert, Sidney,
Cheerfid, Shah, Druid, Paliumn, Spots, Peg-
tops, and other celebrities, distinguish
themselves. Between the races the band of
H.M.S. Highflyer has played us various tunes,
whilst the " Jacks " have danced, and other
wise amused themselves.
After the races on the second day, a sub
scription is made up at the stand, and the

other Amusements. 189
" Jacks " are allowed to ride a race, which
they do at a tremendous pace, not caring one
halfpenny for the poor brutes they have
borroM'ed from the natives. The last race
on the cards is a pony race by Chinese, on
native saddles ; and immense fun is generally
derived therefrom.
And now we Avill bend our steps home
wards. These have been two broken days,
but the races are always selected to take
place at the least busy season of the year.
As we go along we will look into one or two
places of amusement which I do not think
I have ever described to you, or if I have,
you must bear with me to hear them again,
as I do not keep copies of what I write you.
First, then, passing from the course towards
the river front, we go down a long street,
on either side of which are Chinese shops,
the occupants being those whose avocations
are more nearly connected with the Euro
peans, or, as they call us, foreigners. This
title at first sounds odd to you when you are

190 The Englisliman in China.
from England, but you soon begin to speak of
the latest arrived cockney as a foreigner.
Passing down this street, of tailors, shoe
makers, painters, and others, who go by the
names of Stultz, Moses, Sneider, &c., we
arrive at the Bowling Alley.
The Bowling Alley is supported by sub
scription, the number of members being
limited, and all elected by ballot. So difficult
is it to join that your name may often stand
on the books for more than two years before
the Secretary gives you notice that if it is
still your wish to join you will be put up in a
week ; if not, you are requested to state the
fact, and give way to the next candidate.
The entrance-fee is a hundred taels, about
thirty guineas, with a small monthly sub
scription. By tlie rules of the society none
can roll but members, and M'ith them three
misses running is an immediate fine of one
dozen of champagne for the good of the
club. As long as yon behave yourself, you
and your cigar are welcome, though you be

Popidation. 191
no member. We thus have a very pleasant
place to pass our leisure hour and chat over
the races.
Next to the Bowling Alley is the Fives'
Court, and beyond that again the Racket
Court. These are all separate clubs, but
there is no law to prevent your joining one
or all, be you so disposed. As we go down
the road and enter the settlement, we come
upon the Billiard Club : here again it is only
by vacancy that you can come in, but the
shares are worth so much, so that at any time
you can sell out, and the purchaser come in
in your ])lacc. Different to this is the Bowl
ing Alley, for should you wish to sell out
you can do so, but the one to occupy your
place must be the first on the book of ap
plicants. You ask me in your last letter how many
inhabitants we muster. I have, therefore,
taken some pains to find out ; and the follow
ing, I think, is pretty nearly correct — at all
events, if official documents and red tape may

192 The Englishman in China.
be trusted. It includes the female mission
aries, about whom I know nothing.

Nation.

MaU.

Female.

Total.

Great Britain

253

41

294

America

,

98

27

125

France .

18
4
22
Portugal
S-2
5
27
Spain Germany
Prussia .
4
16 7
0
0 0
4
16 7
Sweden, Belgium,
and any quantity
German States
Hamburg, of young
18
0
18
Parsees & Mohamn
edans.
59
0
59
Egypt .
1
Don'thelieveitnever saw him.
}¦
_


Total . 496 77 573
Unto us, during one year, have been born
the enormous quantity of FOURTEEN
BABIES ! ! ! So we're getting on, you
see. And two of our sweet ladies have, in the
same period, taken unto themselves com])a-
nioiis for better or worse, for richer or poorer;
A Policeman. 195
whilst something like a dozen have passed
from this world.
We own, besides all these, a church, a
cemetery, and a library. The first fills but
indifferently, the second but too fast, I grieve
to say. The third finds subscribers, who,
however, are always being hauled over the
coals, and very properly too, for not taking
more care of the books. Oh, by the bye, I
must not forget a huge, unwieldy, luiiiber-
ing barge, which flies a blue and white flag,,
and labours under the euphonious title of
"Seamen's Chapel;" and a pretty noise they
make every Sunday, I can assure you. Then
we have an hospital, a police-station, and a
prison; so that you see we are well taken
care of. Would not it amuse you to see a
"bobby" with a white umbrella over his
head? Yet such is the fact. Here is a sketch
of one I made the other day. He is con
ducting some coolies to the station. Some
times they hold their pigtails, as in this in
stance ; at others the police tie all their pri-
K 2

196 The Englishman in China.
soners' tails together, and urge them on with
Her Majesty's baton. On the left are three
coolies, discussing the cause and probable
effect of the culprits' being taken into cus
tody ; whilst on the right another cooly, com
ing from his work, is rather amused than
otherwise at the position of the delinquents,
amongst whom he may perchance see a bro
ther or a cousin.
You have often asked me to tell you more
of the ladies, native and foreign. Can I never
satisfy your unhappy craving on this point?
I well nigh had given up all hope, when,
yesterday, as I was standing at my window
smoking a cheroot, who should come and stop
just in front of me but the wonderful, magni
ficently d ressed — in fact, gorgeous — Mrs.  !
It is no use giving you names ; you'd be none
the wiser. Yes, there she stood, and by her
her arma, or nurse, in whose arms reposed —
no, I can't call it repose, for it was squalling
— kicked, that's a better word — kicked her
very wonderful baby. This being the Brst of

Red Petticoats.

197

these playthings which she can call her own,
of course there is an immense fuss about it.
Besides, this being the finest day we have had

LADy, ARMA, AND BABY.

for a long while, it was a splendid opportunity
to show off baby, and the latest thing in red
petticoats which had arrived by last steamer.
Lucky fellow you, thought I to myself, — here's
the very moment to send him a sketch ; so
down I roughly did it in ink, and then elabo-

198 Tlie Englishman in China.
rately re-drew it in pencil and water-colours.
There, 0 friend, is not that a picture? As
the man who sang on Poet's Corner says —
" It was a sight to charm dull age,
The infant's roving eye engage,
The deaf man heal, the blind man cure,
The widow from her tears allure ;
And moping idiots tell the story
Of England's," &c. &c.
With a little alteration — poet's licence — it
would run: —
" And moping idiots tell a tale
Of cheap-bought goods at auction sale."
N'est-ce pas ?
I wondered what the arma was like, but
she kept her head turned away the whole.
time. You know how fond I am of contrasts.
Well, it happened, as I stood enwi'apt in con-r
templation of the excessive grandeur de sa
toilette, that there passed by also two others of
her sex, of both of whom I have made you a
little drawing. The first a woman, Chinese

A Chinese Lady.

199

proper, a would-be dandy, but, unfortunately,
coming of low origin, wherein her parents
deemed it useless .to cramp her feet, she re
tains them of an ordinary size.

OBINESB LAST,

Starting with this, I will give you a slight
and not at all improbable sketch of her life.
She has worked jn the fields, tended her pa
rents, minded the buffaloes, sown, reaped, and
dug, till the age of fifteen, when some mer
chant passing by, after much wrangling, has
rewarded the father with a hundred dollars,
and taken her unto himself.
She is now well dressed, but the feet look
badly, so she purchases a pair of small shoes

200

The Englishman in China.

into which she puts her two big toes, under
her heel a support, ties up the whole in a
bandage, conceals all but. the little shoes by
wearing long and full trousers, and thus be
comes, to all appearance, a small-footed
woman. I will sketch the foot and shoes for you
to more clearly understand me. You must

SMALL SHOE.

bear in mind that my sketch is from a shoe
which is lying before me on the table, and is

Canton Girl. aoi
an exact copy in size and ornamentation. In
the heel are a couple of small pieces of
metal, which give a jingling sound as the
woman walks along, or, I should say, hobbles.
The toe is of black velvet, the rest white silk
embroidered. Thus it is that many appear
to have " small feet," who in reality own those
of the size nature has provided for them.
The Chinese are splendid humbugs; this is
one example of what they can do. The
young lady with the sham small feet may
now pass on, and smoke her pipe of light-
coloured tobacco in peace.
If the next description offends the delicate
ear of any young lady of over fifty, thou alone
art to blame for thy curiosity, or for reading
this . part of my letter to her. My sketch
is of a Canton girl in her usual walking
dress. I need hardly have said that though,
by the bye, for the only change they make
on going out of doors is to tie on a stiff cotton
handkerchief and shoulder a parasol.
This young lady is one of those whose mo-
K 3

202 The Englishman in China.
rality will perhaps not bear too close an
inspection; in fact, had we a Casino here,

oahtoh oirl.

the occupants would be such as she. This
class — there's no use in denying the fact — is
a very large one, and easily distinguished by
the handkerchief as they approach you in the
distance. Those who take an interest in
missionaries and deal largely in charity, do
affirm that these handkerchiefs are used to
cover their brazen faces. This may or may
not be ; suflSce it to say that my belief is, that
some of these same very virtuous creatures

Arrival of. the Plenipo. 203
would give their ears to have such small feet
and pretty hands.
Many of them are very pretty, clean in
their person, and nicely dressed in dark silk.
Their entire dress consists of a pair of very
full white cotton trousers, over these a second
pair of dark bl«e stuff ones; a loose coat
reaching down to the knees and buttoning
down the side (this is of white cotton), with
another of dark silk over it ; white stockings,
patent leather shoes, white cambric handker
chief, and coloured cotton ditto on the head.
*****
The morning is bright and sunny, a soft
breeze is blowing through the Venetians, as
I lie here on my couch, recovering from a
very severe attack of fever and ague. This
is the second I have had since I have been
here. You must forgive this letter being
written in pencil, as it is far from an easy po
sition I am in, and far too weak to sit up.
The Earl of Elgin and Kincardine has
arrived at Woosung, and is now, so we hear.

204 Tlie Englishman in China.
steaming up to this place. What he is
like, what he will do, what he will say, are,
of course, all matters of present conversation
and gossip, or, as it is more generally and
less elegantly termed here, "gup."
As my pencil traced the last word, a gun
from the guardship called my attention to out
ward objects, and through my blinds I saw the
union-jack hoisted at the main. Truly shall
I be able from my position to describe to
you His Excellency's arrival, and you may
as faithfully ascribe it to "your correspondent
on the spot."
Three steamers are rounding the point
— their smoke only till now visible. As
they near I seethe "jack" flying from the
second one, — Lord Elgin's insignia of au
thority from his queen and country. The
guardship salutes him with eighteen guns, of
which the one I heard just now was the first.
One of the steamers accompanying him re
turns the compliment, and salutes the British
flag. What the next firing is about I cannot

Lord Elgin. 205
say, but I imagine it to be some courtesy to
the French and American colours. The
smoke is clearing away, and I can see the
English Consul rowing off to pay his respects ;
as he steps on board the Ambassador's vessel
(with his cocked hat, looking very like the
gentleman who " would a wooing go"), the
guns inform us of the fact.
Now Captain Shadwell, C.B., commander
of the port, is mounting the sides. Bang,
bang, bang! that's our Consul leaving. Boom,
boom, boom ! a volley for the French Consul.
Gold lace, stars, and ribands. " Allez done,
mom cher Monsieur le Consul, ou vous
serez trop tard." Pop, pop, pop ! he departs
again, and now all is for the moment still.
I am keeping my eyes firmly fixed upon
the ladder of the steamer down which my
lord will in one moment descend. What
can keep him so long? A boat is leaving,
painted a bright blue with a gold stripe, and
a crest at the bows. " Quick, boy, quick ! —
my glasses!" Can that be he, seated in the

2o6 The Englishman in China.
stern ? There can be no doubt, by his hav
ing the post of honour. No gold lace, no
cocked hat, no epaulettes, not even a black
coat on his back.
Crowned with a simple and ordinary pith
helmet, from beneath which flow his long
and silvery grey hairs, beams an honest Eng
lish face, — not the face of a peer of the
realm, not the look of an aristocrat, but that,
if you will, of a thorough English country
gentleman, who feels he can fulfil his sove
reign's mission none the less diligently by
landing before all Shanghai (who have put
on their best) in a simple suit of brown
alpaca, with his feet encased in a pair of low
shoes. I know a nation whose plenipo is said
to have landed in gold lace, the flags flying,
and the people shouting. I wonder which
will do best in the trial before them.
*****
Ink instead of pencil will sufficiently prove
to you that I am in a better state of health ;
so, with renewed strength, I continue my

Ague and Fever. 207
letter. A few weeks in the country will
quite set me up again, I fancy. The day
after 1 had written the first portion of this
niy scrawl to you, I hunted up a couple of
companions, who, having either too much
time on their hands or too much liver in
their sides, were willing to accompany me
for three or four weeks, if necessary, up the
country. How strange you feel the first time you go
downstairs, after being confined to your room
for three weeks ! How you hold by the
banister, and are perhaps saluted by some
native broker or other, who has missed you
for a while, with, —
" Ah ! Misser Chin Chin, long tim no have
see you ; what thing have makee sick ?"
" Well, Apong, how are you ? Yes, my
have been sick more than two week."
" lyah ! what thing hab catchee ? Belong
colo (cold)?"
" Colo ! no ; colo no makee my stop top
side. Have belong fever."

2o8 The Englishman in China.
" Feve, ah ! that belong bad thing. Jess
now you facee all same paper, white colour, no
got plarper ; more better go inside country."
And go " inside country" we intend, and
hope to spend a most pleasant time, I assure
you. We leave this evening, about five
o'clock, in two boats, well stocked and pro
visioned for a three weeks' journey. My boat
being the larger of the two, I have taken it
all to myself, making thus more room for our
meals, for which the others are always to come
to my boat. In theirs they will have no eat
ing beyond their cup of coffee and biscuit
in the morning, so that our arrangements
suit all parties. Considering a run in the
country may improve the health of our dogs,
about five of these quadrupeds accompany
each boat.
You will, doubtless, wonder how we arrange
about our provisions lasting so long a time.
Our plan is very simple. A large piece of
roast beef, some mutton-chops, and rump-
steak will last us nearly three days, when we

Mr. Afong. 209
fall upon two pigeon-pies ; when these are
gone we open our preserved meats, which,
together with the fowls, fish, and eggs we
buy, and the birds we shoot as Ave go along,
will serve very well to keep us from sheer
starvation. And these are backed by a fa
mous Stilton, sent out by Cadman, of Bond-
street, which arrived, as all his cheeses do, in
the primest order.
Any one passing along the bund, in front
of my house, yesterday afternoon, would have
seen grand preparations going on, hampers
being carried down to the two boats moored
at the jetty. Mr. Afong, my new Canton
boy, was highl];^ busy. He took up his position
early after tiffin at the side of the boat, and
gave his orders with the promptitude of an
old hand at such things. As he stood guard
ing a hamper, so I sketched him for you.*
The weather being warm, he uses a fan ;
the sun being bright, he shades his face with
a huge straw hat. * See Frontispiece.

210 The Englishman in China.
These hats are peculiar to the " Canton
swell." They are lined with either blue or
rose-coloured silk, and have two long, broad
ribands down the side, more for ornament
than use, as they never tie them. Picture to
yourself John Thomas standing on his mas
ter's door-step in Belgrave-square, with a
straw hat on, lined with rose-coloured silk,
pointing out with his fan how the carriage
should be packed ; his fingers adorned with
two gold rings, of more value than the one
on his master's finger.
Beyond giving orders, Mr. Afong did no
thing. But there is a good deal in knowing
how to direct the packing for a three weeks'
trip, in a country where, should you forget
your soap or your salt, you will have to wait
till you return. By his side worked the
noble Soyer ; their combined efforts enabling
my boy, at four o'clock, to report that every
thing was now "alle plarper," or, as the
Yankees would say, "fixed."
Starting a few minutes before five — you

Soger buys some Fish. 211
see this letter is being written at different
times — we discovered, to onr delight, that
all was very favourable, a fair wind and tide,
and our extra boatmen fine strong fellows.
At seven we dined — drinking sweethearts and
wives, as it was Saturday — a true China cus
tom — and about ten o'clock "turned in."
After I was in bed, and just before going
to sleep, I heard the hum of voices, so con
cluded we were passing through Soong-kong,
a middling-sized city.
The sun was shining brightly when I awoke
at five o'clock this morning, and opened my
door. We were stopping in a small creek,
with flat country far and near. The other
boat was not in sight, and Soyer had en
countered a piscator, who would not have
made a bad member of the chorus in " Masa-
niello." " Has he any fish, Soyer?"
" Hab got plenty ; alle stink."
" Don't buy them if they are not good.
Have you seen the other boat?"

212 The Englishman in China.
" Jess now my makee put up that flagee,
hab see that other piecee man makee do all
same. lyah ! there have got back side."
And turning round I saw the other flag
approaching in the distance. Doffing my
clothes, I jumped into the water, where I was
joined a few minutes after by my friends, who
approached swimming by the side of their
boat. After a quarter of an hour's bathe we
retire to dress. Neither of us having to use
the razor very much, and not being particular
as to our dress beyond its cleanliness, we are
soon ready. I was sitting in front of my boat
watching the dogs, which had had a swim
and were shaking themselves and rolling
ovar and over on the bank, when the voice of
mon chef said, behind me — " Bleckfast have
got." Which intimation, after ordering bim
to stop boat, I passed on to my friends,
with " Boat ahoy there ! bleckfast have
got." A distant " All right," and we were
soon seated ; when enter Soyer and removed
covers.

My Companions. 213
" Why, what's this? You told me the fish
was bad."
" My hab so talkee, must wantchee catchee
more cheap."
So he had argued their badness in order
to reduce the price. Far from bad, we
found them very fresh, and nicely fried,
which, with curry and rice, formed the first
portion ; this was followed by mutton-chops,
eggs, and bacon ; one of our party drinking
some light French claret, the second im
bibing " Bittarr Bearr ! I " from a tankard,
the side of which bore token of Putney
scuUing in years gone by; whilst the third,
being of an undecided turn of mind, de
claring the coffee was bad, tried tea, and
finally went in for pale ale. While my
companions go for a walk, I am writing this
to you.
By the bye, I may as well here describe
them to you. The first, born and bred in
London, has withal a taste for not the
country alone, but also its sports. But an

¦214 The Englishman in China.
incident in bis life may perhaps better de
scribe him to you — his noble nature — than
anything I can pen on his behalf. I will
give it to you just as be described it to me.
" You have asked me about duelling, so I
will give you some idea of what once hap
pened to myself. A man of little experience,
and much younger than myself, took up
some absurd idea that my behaviour towards
his sister called for an apology, which be,
instead of quietly coming to me for it, con
sidered should be done through a second
I)arty ; in fact, he sent me a challenge.
" I immediately communicated with a
friend, describing all my views on the sub
ject, and leaving him to act upon them. The
result was an invitation to several friends, on
both sides, as well as to the principals and
seconds concerned in the matter. We met
*at a noted gallery in town, and I asked one
of* them for a card, requested another to
draw upon it a small line in pencil, and a
third to nail it to the wall.

A Challenge Refused. 215
" Taking up my position at five-and-
twenty paces, I made three shots, one on
either side of the line, and one on the top.
" ' There, gentlemen,' said I, ' I have made
in three successive shots the ace of clubs : it is
for you to judge whether or no I am able to
kill my man (it was an old trick I acquired
while in Germany). My friend, for such I
used and hope again to call him, feels
aggrieved regarding certain things I have said
against bis sister ; I declare my innocence,
and now flatly refuse to meet him. First,
because I consider duelbng to be an inhuman,
cowardly practice ; and, secondly, were I to
meet him I should certainly kill him, and
God forbid that the brand of Cain be upon
my head ! '
" ' Take that, then, coward ! ' said my adver
sary, rushing forward and striking me in the
face. What would you. Chin Chin, have done
under the circumstances ? I am sure you
would have acted as I did. To the ' Take
that, then ! ' I made only one reply, which

21 6 The Englishman in China.
was, ' Frank, you are her brother, and as
such I would never strike you or return
your blow.'
" The result was, that one and all, ay,
even the man who would have fought me,
shook hands and commended what I had
done; and he and I liave been inseparable
ever since."
My other companion comes from the coun
try where women do indulge in short dresses
and tall hats; where almost every third person
you meet is a descendant of royalty, and is
sure to be a Jones or a Williams, a Davis or
an Owen, — their emblem a leek, and their
pet animal a goat. From this you may judge
that I refer to a "Taffy." Right good and
honest is a Welshman — at least, all whom I
have ever met — and well indeed does my
friend carry this out : hot is his temper, and
true his friendship.
We have arrived at the Hills, which num
ber seven, like those on which Rome was
built. They are known by the names of the

Joss-house Hill. 219
Pagoda, the Joss-house, the Hawk, the Peak,
the Bamboo, and two others for which I do
not think any excursionist has yet invented a
name. The second of these is the one at
which there was the small fight of which I
wrote you some time back. We have an
chored at the base, where there is a small
village, as you will see by the rough sketch I
have made. It is very steep, and we shall
require all the breath we can manage to
muster in order to reach the top.
First we have an empty barn, but contain
ing a huge image about 14 feet in height,
with many smaller ones ranged on his right
and his left. He has just bad a fresh coat
of paint, and is surprising to look at in his
red, blue, and gold. The gods at his side
are war, peace, punishment, plenty, &c., and
are defended from sacrilegious hands by a
stout wooden raiL
I like to give you the idea, when I am
describing anything, of being on the spot
yourself; and lest my calligraphy prove bad,
L 2

220 The Miglishman in China.
I always arm myself with a pencil and paper
the better to carry to you my ideas, hoping
that as two negatives make an affirmative, so
a lame description and an imperfect drawing
may compose an accurate account.
Passing through this house we ascend the
hill, roughly-cut steps assisting our way, to a
small joss-house about one-half up to the top.
Here we rest, and an old priest, accompanied
by two ragged little children, comes out to
meet us, offering us a glass of water most
refreshingly cool. You wonder where be can
procure it, so be leads you to a small opening
in the pavement, and requests you to look
down. There, forty feet down, you see your
handsome face reflected in clear and sparkling
water. Let down the little bucket, and up
conies Adam's ale.
Upon giving him a trifle he unlocks a pair
of gates, and you recommence your ascent,
reaching the top in about a quarter of an
hour. Here we find a large stone terrace,
with a huge bronze bell in the middle, from

A Chinese Temple. 112
whence you have a view of the country for
miles and miles away, as far as the eye can
reach, intersected with numerous little shining
canals. On the left is Shanghai, and on the
right Soochow. Both these are visible with
the telescope.
Within the temple, which is open in front,
reposes the Queen of Heaven, her distinguish
ing badges always being the lotus plant in her
band, and a peculiar carved work, representing
a sort of halo, at her back ; carved green dra
gons run along, supporting the roof and twist
ing their tails round the wooden columns. As
the pilgrim ascends the hill he encounters
two or three small resting-places, each with
its proper god, not unlike those crosses we
meet with in travelling through the South of
France. On either side of the temple are other
small chambers, which (as they are empty)
give you the idea that the whole is unfinished;
for you must remember that these joss-houses
are often built by the rich during their lives,

224 Tlie Englishman in China.
or by their friends after their death ; thus, in
many cases, the funds from these private
purses are insufficient to carry out the origi
nal design. But one of the most striking
things is the amount of labour it must have
taken to build these edifices at such a height
from level ground. Why will people scribble
over the walls? Every side of this white-
walled temple bears some name or other,
some date or inscription ; and sorry indeed am
I to add that foremost as to number amongst
them are those of the American ladies.
Re-entering our boats we told the boatmen
to sail round to the Pagoda Hill. Here there
is very little to see, but some chance of a
pheasant or two in the season.
Soyer has just announced, "Four piecee
sanpan front side," which I must, I suppose,
translate for you. It means that there are
four boats ahead, — evidently belonging to
foreigners, from the trouble he takes to in
form me of the fact.
*****

We Meet the " Gazelle." 225
I left off my letter yesterday in order to
see who were the occupants of the boats.
They were, however, too far off to distinguish,
so I had recourse to another plan.
" Give them a barrel, Henry, as you have
your gun in your hand," I said to one of my
companions. He fires, and thus attracts their atten
tion, I in the mean time having brought
my opera-glass to bear upon them.
" Red flag is one ; that must be B  , as
he flies the Swiss Confederation. The next I
cannot make out, — oh yes, blue and white ; it
is the Gazelle, Mr. G  , out for a cruise."
We now closed with them, they having
stopped sculling in order to enable us to
catch them up.
My inference as to who they were was cor
rect, B  and G  , each accompanied by
a friend, so that we now formed a goodly
party, which was shortly increased by the ad
dition of another boat containing two more.
It was therefore proposed, seconded, and car-
L 3

226 Tlie Eiglishman in China.
ried nem. con., that we should club together
and have dinner en masse. We therefore
halted at the foot of the hill, and, appointing
Soyer cook, prepared for operations, each be
taking himself to his boat in order to give out
provisions for the general good.
" Soyer, more better you go catchee plenty
that fowl and some eggs, milk, and whatever
you can pick up, buy, or steal."
Despatched on an errand which pleases
him, for he will be able to charge me double
what he pays, Soyer runs off in high glee, re
turning from some neighbouring farmhouse
in half an hour, laden with four fowls, eggs,
some milk, a cucumber, and some fresh let
tuces. In the mean time our boys (two had
accompanied the other boats) have spread out
the cloth.
As it would be an hour at least before it
would be all ready, each bent his steps after
his own inclination, — some for a stray shot,
some to lie on the grass and read and smoke,
others for a dip and long swim. This last

A Canny Scot. 227
was my choice, and in a very few minutes
three heads were seen on the surface of the
water, which was so clear that you could see
the pebbles at the bottom. The creek here
is about 8 ft. deep and 20 ft. broad.
One of our party, a Scotchman, was very
anxious to bathe, but being unable to swim
was fearful ; he consequently formed the sub
ject of much merriment to the other " mer
man," who, by keeping himself upright in the
deep water, induced the poor Scot to imagine
it shallow, and sad was his surprise, on jump
ing in, to find out his mistake. There was
no fear of an accident, as the water was
quite clear, and we were close at hand. My
companion, not content with what he had
done, induced his " butt " to stand in a
shallow part and permit him to dive between
his legs. I, who knew what the result would
be, having often seen the thing done before,
could hardly believe that the " canny Scot "
would have been so foolish or unsuspect
ing ; however, the finish soon arrived, as I

228 Tlie Englishman in China.
expected, for as the diver passed between
his knees he caught hold of his ankles, trip
ping him up, and leaving bim to get up
again, spitting and spluttering, as best he
could. At six o'clock we all assembled and sat
down to what was more like a pic-nic, great
praise being due to our cook. In spite of
my being called a gourmand by you, I must
tell you what we had, as doubtless you have
but a small idea — and I can see this from your
letters — of the description of food which we
get here.
We commenced with soup and bouilli at
the top, mulligatawny at the bottom, rice
and chutney in the middle, bread, white and
brown, and all the etcetera. Soyer had
bought and very nicely fried some fish.
These were followed by a leg of mutton (the
Chinese mutton is equal in every way to any
"Dartmoor" you get), some cold beef (as
tough as leather), fresh potatoes, and aspara
gus, and green peas, which come from France,

Puppy Dogs and Birds' Nests. 12 g
and are beautifully preserved in tin, and taste
as fresh as you could. desire them.
Our next course was a pair of very old
cocks, as hard as birds ever were, a chicken,
and a fish curry. These were in their turn suc
ceeded by preserved plums, and gooseberries
boiled in rice, and a Stilton cheese with
cucumber. So far for the eatables : now as to the
drinkables. We started with water for those
who preferred it, draught beer, bottled ale, and
porter, sherry, champagne, and claret, ac
companied by melons, peaches, and loquarts.
As I said before, your letters prove to me
that you consider we live upon puppy-dogs
and birds'-nests. This is my reason for giv
ing you a description of our dinner, which I
should not otherwise have done, as I think a
letter composed of descriptions of eating and
drinking does not tend to show the author's
good sense. It will show you that we can live,
and do live, generally speaking, on the fat of
the land ; and doubtless my account will have

230 Tlie Englishman in China.
been of such good things as to make you
stare. I will therefore explain to you that
soups, meats, and vegetables we get well
preserved from both England, France, and
America. The Chinese mutton is delicious,'
the beef abominable, small, and the joints
badly shaped by the butchers. Again, with
regard to our sweets, Crosse and Blackwell, as
well as Fortnum and Mason, keep us well
supplied; and in fruit the soil yields an
unlimited quantity.
Our peaches are of an immense size, and
very delicious — that is, if you can induce the
Chinese not to pick them until they be ripe,
as they themselves always prefer all fruit un
ripe. There is one man who grows for the
use of foreigners peaches of an extraordinary
size, some of which would fill a large slop-
basin — so large that I have seen one make a
centre dish, and we were obliged to slice it
like a melon. He charges from a guinea to
thirty shillings each for such.
The loquart is a small round fruit about

Soochow. 12 1
the size of a walnut, of an orange colour,
very Sweet, and with two or three stones
inside. Our dinner over, we adjourned to our
boats, drank coffee, and smoked, enjoying the
cool of the evening, and giving the servants
time to clear away before we continued our
journey. Most of our party were returning
that night, whilst we three intended going
on to the Tilioe Lake, by way of Soochow,
which city we much wanted to see, knowing
that Fortune was about the only man who
had gained admittance.
# * , * » *
Again I seize the opportunity of writing a
continuation of our journey. It is now a
week since I put this letter away, and we
have been into and all over Soochow — few
indeed are the Englishmen who can say this.
Now for a description as nearly as I can
give it to you.
We arrived at the walls at six o'clock
P.M. on Wednesday evening, passing through

232 The Englishman in China.
the suburbs, which are many miles in extent,
it taking one day to sail round the walls.
The city gates were already shut; we
therefore anchored for the night, to be awak
ened next morning by that hum of many
voices which betokens the stirring of a great
city. My friends were, of course, seen as they
crossed from their boat to mine for breakfast,
and a shout was raised by the people on the
bridge which commanded the entrance to the
city. Soyer bad already told me that our
flags bad attracted attention, and that on bis
applying before I was awake for admission to
pass into the town, it had been refused, as
the boats were expected to contain '^foreign
devils." A council of war was now held,
which resulted in our deciding to leave our
boats after breakfast, and walk boldly into
the city, keeping the blinds all closed until
we were prepared to start. It was as well
not to show fire-arms, yet each of us felt
much more comfortable in the knowledge

Soochow. 122
that under his waistcoat were five dead men
should he choose to use his revolver.
Leaving the boats in charge of my lauder,
whom we knew we could trust best of them
all, and taking Soyer and one of tho boatmen
with us, we stepped on to the deck, and
never shall I forget the sight. On either
side of us stretched tho walls of the far-
famed city, which European foot had hardly
ever entered, behind us the vast suburbs, and
directly in front of us the bridge which they
would not open, covered with throngs of peo
ple, who grinned, and laughed, and shouted,
and hooted, as though it were Bedlam let
loose. By the side of the' bridge was a small
house, one door of which faced us; the other
opened on to the bridge. From the former
were steps leading down to the water, and on
these was an old priest who was cleaning
some fish for his breakfast.
They say that the priests are always the
fools of the family — it may be : at all events.

234 The Englishman in China.
they have always a civil tongue in their
heads. To the priest, then, we applied. Thompson,
very cunningly remembering how the "fire
water " bad acted with the Indians, asked
Soyer for a bottle of brandy, and pouring out
a glass handed it to the priest, who at first
shook his head, nor was it until he had seen
us each put it to our lips that he acceded.
The first sip over, he tried a second, and then
a third ; following this by holding out his
glass to be refilled. This put the crowd into
a good temper— if they were previously
otherwise disposed — and several of them
came through the priest's house to have a
glass. This we now thought was the happy
moment ; so, giving the whole bottle to the
priest, we jumped on to the steps, and in two
minutes were standing upon the bridge —
that bridge where Fortune had stood when,
dressed as a Chinaman, he travelled in disguise
through Soochow. Above us were three heads
freshly taken from their bodies. Here stood

Soochow. 23 5
three foreigners, unarmed you may say, for
we dare not use our arms, though we carried
them ; for of what use would three pistols be
against a city the population of which counts
by thousands.
The die was cast, and we must push on ;
to laugh when those around us laughed,
to frown when they frowned, was our only
chance. I bad taken the precaution before
leaving my boat to say that if we were not
back that night they were to start at once
for Sha,nghai, and report that we were de
tained. Crossing the bridge, we took a turn to the
left, and found ourselves in a narrow street
just like all Chinese streets, not above four
teen feet wide from shop to shop, with long
sign-boards hanging on each side. But the
shops were the best I had ever seen, lofty
and open at the top, the houses being for
the most part built with a square open
ing down the middle, the rooms running all
round. The dresses of the inhabitants also struck

236 Tlie Englishman in China.
me. They were of much better material,
being for the most part made of silk, and
carefully embroidered.
Would you believe it, that when we re
turned to our boats neither of us had seen a
woman ! ! Of course this was the merest
chance, as there are women in Soochow just
as elsewhere, and though the higher classes
stay in doors, still the others move about —
ours being merely a coincidence.
I had always heard it said at Shanghai,
when you asked where such and sijcli was
made, " Soochow side have makee;" and of
a truth they are right, for we amused our
selves, as we passed through the streets, by
noticing that there were shops for the manu
facture of everything a Chinaman requires, —
clockmakers, tobacco-cutters, binders, print
ers, jewellers, clothiers, box-makers. Every
requisite of a Chinaman is made here, from
the crackers with which to salute Joss, down,
or rather up, to the gold rings he wears on
his left hand, and by which you count the
number of his wives.

The Yamun. 12"]
Incongruous are the shops, for the black
smith is between the portrait-painter and
the jeweller ; the boot-maker is shoulder to
shoulder with literature ; and the pork but
cher sides with the stocking- maker. Each
works on regardless of the other, though all
rush to their doors, and press to see the
"Fan qui," or foreign devils ; though I must
here add that but once was that name applied
to us, and really they were all of them most
civil. Happy was the man who on this day
could leave bis shop and follow our steps.
Wishing to see the Yamun, or chief magis
trate's dwelling, we asked the way, and great
was the respect shown us at the very name.
I expect most present had an idea of the
Yamun only as a place to which you would go
for some heinous offence, and hence could not
understand the voluntary desire of going
there — just as a thief might look upon the
Mansion-house at home.
The Yamun, we found, was at the other
end of the city, and our best plan, we were

238 The Englishman in China.
told, was to go by water ; we therefore en
gaged a small boat for the day. We now
returned to our boats, in order to get some
luncheon to carry with us, as we did not
expect to be back before the evening. It
became clear to us now that the reason we
were not admitted through the gates upon
application was less a sense of dislike to us
than the fear that our large boats should be
come fixed in some of their narrow water
streets, and thus stop the traflSc. We saw
the wisdom of this, as we now passed easily
down some into which we could not, in our
own boats, have entered.
Arrived at the Yamun, we found it like all
others, with its long peaked roof and twisted-
up ends, its poles and ceremonial flags.
From hence we passed to the Pagoda,
which is one of tho wonders of the place-
five stories high, of a reddish-brown colour,
and in good preservation. We mounted to
the top floor, after some difficulty in finding
the man with the keys, and had a strange

Chinese Beggars. i2g
view. Immediately beneath us were the
sharp-peaked houses; the streets being so
narrow were not visible, and you wondered
how any one could pass from one part to
another unless he were to go over the tops of
the houses. Beyond this was a belt of water,
encircled in its turn by the suburbs, which
were again backed by green fields.
I felt as if I were standing on the very
"bull's-eye" of some giant target, the city,
the walls, the creek, the suburbs, and the
surrounding country severally forming its
coloured rings.
Individually we found little sight-seeing,
but collectively there was much. Neither
my companions nor myself were new to Chi
nese manners and customs, yet the novelty of
being in a city we had been taught to con
sider as a sealed one to vulgar gaze, lent
that zest which is always felt upon gaining
a long-sought object.
Beggars, you know — or more shame for
you if you do not — beggars are a privileged

240 The Englishman- in China.
set in China, and by the law of the land, if
one of them asked charity at your door, a
present you must make him, be it but the
widow's mite. In Soochow the beggars had
a more respectable appearance, I thought, —
in nearly all instances a horrid sight, how
ever ; some gaining their living by the ex
hibition of sores, others maimed and halt,
covered with vermin, and whose only cover
ing is an old piece of straw matting.
There is one man at the entrance to the
little east gate at Shanghai who has one
foot amputated, and begs with it lying decom
posed by his side. Another I know who
takes up his position in one of the main
streets, having poured a quantity of blood
over the pavement and his own body.
I know these are nasty things to write
about ; but, mon cher ami, you must have the
bitters with the sweets, or neither, and, when
you ask me to tell you what I hear and see,
must expect a full account.
At Soochow I saw a very funny be^o-ar.

The Pig Market, Soochow. 1^2
He had two stools, each four feet long, which
he put end to end. Seating himself at the
extreme left end, he pushed himself along
until the eighth foot was gained ; the stool
on the left was then pulled round and made
that on the right; and so he would pass
from one end of the city to the other without
touching the ground.
We next went to the nursery gardens,
where were some beautiful plants and flowers.
Of the dwarf shrubs I bought several, — little
old oaks not ten inches in height ; cedars with
a stem three inches in diameter, whose top
most branch would go under your hat.
One of the most curious and amusing sights
I saw was the pig market. Lying in rows,
with their feet tied, were the black snorters,
and in between them walked owner and pur
chaser, wrangling, pinching, and gesticulat-
ino-. At last one was fixed upon, whereupon
two coolies came forward and weighed the
animal, amid noises such as restive porkers
alone can make.
M 2

244 The Englishman in China.
The rain now began to fall heavily, and
we decided on making the best of our way
back to our boats. Soyer, while we took
shelter, fetched us three chairs, in which we
arrived without further incident at the bridge
again, from whence we had in the morning
started. " Aquong, wantchee walkee chop chop,
makee catchee that Eding, more large Eding,
and you, Mr. Soyer, let us see some
dinner." " All light " from one, and " Yes, sar "
from the other, and we are off, having to pass
round two-thirds of the city.
At the foot of the walls lie huge Govern
ment grain junks, rotting and falling to
pieces. I counted no less than one hundred
and fifty-seven of them, in every stage of
decay. Some had apparently been but newly
left there, tho paint being still bright — of
others nothing but the old ribs stuck up
above water. The beggars were stealing the
wood, and in one or two instances whole •

Une Belle.

245

families had taken up their quarters and
made the old hulks into dwelling-houses.
« * * * »

UNB BELLE.

The above will surprise you perhaps — it
wants explanation. You shall have it. Know
then, 0 friend, that I am on the Great Tihoe
Lake, a small inland sea of about nine miles
in length and four broad. It is Sunday even
ing ; my companions lie upon the deck outside
reading and tmoking. Dogs are all over the

246 The Fnglisliman in Cliiua.
boat, some at my feet, some in the next com
partment, some on deck, and two small rest
less puppies (drying after a bath) overhead.
I have been nearly asleep after luncheon,
and pictured to myself while in that state
how a pretty English girl would look if sud
denly placed in a room full of Canton
girls. The thought so took hold of my fancy
that I jumped up, and, seizing a pen, made
the above elaborate drawing. You will see by
it tlie comparative height of the two nations.
How loveable she looks, does she not ? —
at least I meant her to be so. Think it like
B. E. G. ? No, not half so good-looking, is it ?
I see on looking back that I left off my
description just as we were leaving Soochow
for Eding. This village we reached, and
went on successively to Little Eding, and
thence to Wongdoo. Here we anchored and
slept the night. The next day, as it was
rough, we did not like trusting our boats on
the lake, so hired a small junk with four
masts. In this we had a very boisterous sail

, Letters from Home. 247
to the nearest island, " Tong tin San," which
we ascended to look at a Joss-house, and
were not repaid for our trouble. Our exer
tions at one o'clock, however, proved wc had
not suffered very much from the walk. Upon
the opposite hills on the other side of the
lake, are a few deer, plenty of wild pigeon,
snipe, and duck ; at the last we went man
fully, and shot a great number with our duck
guns. To-day it has been so much finer — in fact,
almost a calm — that we have ventured in our
own boats, and are now at anchor. From
the quick way in which gales collect in the
neighbouring hills, and sweep down upon the
water, it is hardly safe to trust yourself far
from land.
One of my friends has just informed me
that his boat has hoisted a signal and put off
from shore, — what can it mean? From
where I sit I can see her saibng up to us.
The mystery is cleared up ; they have had
the sense in the settlement to send us up our

248 The Englishman in China.
letters and newspapers which have arrived by
the English mail during our absence, as well
as (forethought itself) two loaves of fresh
bread ! — a great luxury, as we have come to
liard biscuit. These have come by a " run
ner," who, by getting occasional lifts by the
way, has accomplished the whole distance in
two days and a night.
Think of reading " Punch's Essence of
Parliament," and laughing over John Leech,
on the bosom of the Tihoe Lake, more than
twenty thousand miles away from where
they are printed and published. Wonderful,
is it not?

I date this from Shanghai, where we are
once more ; we have been absent rather more
than a fortnight. No great event appears to
have happened during our absence, which
adds to the pleasure of our holiday. They
tell us we are all as brown as berries, — this
I can scarcely wonder at, as we were out

John Cooly Marketing. 249
whenever the sun permitted us. The mail
closes this afternoon, so I shall draw this
long scrawl to an end, hoping only that you
will have bad patience to read it to the end.
Remember, —
" U nest si grand jour qui ne vietme a, veprcs."
There is an odd habit the Chinaman has,
never holding in his hand what he is carry
ing. Fish, meat, shoes, anything he has
purchased, be carries by a string. Their
cord is made of dried grass twisted, and
sold by fifties, all tied together at one
end : these pieces are three feet long, and
about the thickness of our whipcord.
Imagine a cooly after his day's work
spending a portion of his wages upon pur
chases for his dinner. He goes to the fish-
stall and cheapens for a piece weighing half
a dozen ounces, for which he pays ten cash.
Next he invests in a little pork, similar in
size, but of twice the cost. These an
itinerant cook will perhaps prepare for him,
and then home he will go to enjoy the
M 3

i^o Tlie Englishman in China,
repast. But I should tell you that the
Chinaman — of course I allude to the lower
class — resembles the Frenchman very much
in his style of living. Monsieur Beau-
monde starts in the morning, has his boots
cleaned in the street, and takes his dinner
at the " Ttws Freres." John Cooly China
man shoulders his bamboo, waits till he is
employed, and then has his dinner by the
wayside, sitting down with his chin between
his knees, eating the meal he has purchased
of the walking cook in the road. Beau-
monde smokes his cigarette, and proceeds
to fidner. John Celestial produces his piece
of bamboo, and, filling one end with some
horridly bad tobacco, takes a whiff' or two,
and then passes it to his neighbour, chatter
ing like a monkey meanwhile.
Neither you nor I could sit like a China
man ; their favourite position is on their
heels. In this attitude they can remain
for hours, eating, drinking, smoking, gossip
ing, and quarrelling; their bamboos often

Building a House. 251
serving them as a shillelagh does an Irish
man. When they purchase their food, say a
piece of pork, it is done up in a small piece
of paper which half covers it, and bound by
a grass cord. The making of this i)aper
is a curious operation. It is composed of
manure and straw, which is placed into a
bag, which they throw into the river and
knead with their feet. This pulp is then
pressed and left to dry in the sun, cut to
the proper size, and sold in packets of about
one hundred sheets each. It answers for
wrapping up parcels, making pipe-lights
which will smoulder and are brought to
a flame by a puff similar to the tonguing
required to make a cornet sound. Besides
this, they use this paper as we use cow-hair
in making our mortar.
The erection of a house is well worth watch
ing, though to be next door to one is dreadful,
as the workmen keep time to a barbarous,
monotonous, drawling tune the whole time.

2^1 The Englishman in China.
A scaffold of fourteen feet having been
erected, a dozen boys mount upon it, and by
means of a heavy stone drive down a row
of piles in order to make a firm foundation.
Now it is this pile-driving which is so
objectionable. The leader of the gang
keeps time by singing a song which no
l)en of mine can describe. Attached to
the stone are ropes, so that they (each holding
one) can drop it on to the head of the pile.
After five blows they join in chorus — such
a chorus ! At ten strokes they stop, waiting
for their leader to sing one verse solo ; then
the chorus and ten thumps ; then a solo
and a rest. And so they keep on from 5 a.m.
to 5 P.M.
Do you hear a singing in the air? Look
up above; that beautiful bird is the cause.
But why, you will say, does it remain sta
tionary ? Carry your eye down, and on tora
firma you will see an old gentleman of
nearly sixty flying what to you was a bird,
what to him is that which it really is, — a

Chinese Kites. 253
kite. They make these toys so well that
you are often deceived, and perchance con
fused at the resemblance.
I well remember one day in the country
sliooting at what I took for a hawk which
was flying over my head; at the third
shot down came half of him, the remainder
flying away as bravely as ever. I was indeed
astonished on picking up the piece to find
it was only paper I had brought down.
The result of my sport was having to pay
a couple of dollars to the owner, who now
made his appearance. You often see them
send up messengers, some so beautifully
made as to represent butterflies, which,
upon touching the kite, will close and return
down the string.
Said I not that the Chinese were our
antipodes? So with kite-flying: that which
delights our children, with them is the
pastime of the aged. So again, they argue
that the needle points to the south, the
earth is flat, and the west is the east. I

2 54 The Englishman in China.
am often, I assure you, tempted to ask
myself whether they may not be right,
and we wrong. Were there a slight differ
ence T should give it against them; but
when I see the manner in which they
declare to our very opposite, I at times
wonder whether so wonderful a nation as
the Chinese have not a right to be listened
to when they say, "You are quite wrong,
the needle points to the south." There is
an air of truth in their arguments.
I -went yesterday to the parade-ground
inside the city, hearing there was to be
an execution. Twice before I had started
upon a similar expedition, and each time
been disappointed. They say there is luck
in odd numbers, and truly I so found it,
for I was able to see the decapitation of ten
rebels who had been caught, and it was
believed they had come from the north
as spies. Making them kneel in a row
with their hands tied behind them, the
chief executioner motioned to his sub. to

^In Execution. 2^^
commence. It was evident he was quite
a novice, for he hacked three times with
the first, and made two blows with the
second. This was more than his master could
stand, for just as he approached the third
poor wretch he received a blow upon the
back of his head, which, had it been with
the edge instead of the flat of the sword.

would most certainly have finished him.
Under the more experienced hand of the

256 Tlie Englishman in China.
chief executioner things went on better,
each head falling with a single blow. He
changed his sword twice during the opera
tion. As he cut off the tenth I asked for
the sword to look at, which be handed
to me after wiping it very carefully. It
was very long and sharp, with a slight curve
in the end. Being double-handed and
heavy, the weight alone must have much
to do with the dexterity of the cut.
The Toutai, or Governor of Shanghai,
was present. At a motion of his hand
each one lost a head, and when it was
all over the crowd departed, following the
Toutai just as though they had only wit
nessed some ordinary show.
I know not if the callousness of the
Chinese regarding life and death contributes
to harden us out here, but I suppose it
does; certain it is, I looked on at the
beheading of these ten fellow-beings un
concernedly, nor was it. till the execu
tioner approached me, covered with human

Infanticide. 257
blood, that I felt the disgust of the scene.
I have never seen a man hung, but I think
it must be far more dreadful to see a
Christian suffering the extreme penalty of
the law before a crowd who know better,
than to see those die who know no better, by
the hand of others as ignorant as them
selves. It is a fact that one in authority, incurring
the Avrath of the Emperor, and ordered to die,
am always provide a substitute, and get his
own sentence changed to banishment. The
poor wretch takes his place, dies, and the
name of the rich man is struck off the books,
and be is counted dead.
Ophthalmia is very prevalent among the
Chinese; this is greatly in consequence of
their having the insides of the eyelids poked
about and cleaned so frequently with wooden
and steel instruments. Their ears also are
so treated.
I can partly reply to your inquiry re
garding infanticide, but not thoroughly. I

258 The Englishman in China.
believe that the female children are made
away with, but I have never yet found a
reliable Chinaman who would admit it. I
went the other evening for a walk to the
Baby Tower, close by the Ningpo Cemetery,
outside the settlement. It is an octagonal
little building, about five-and-twenty feet in
height, coloured bright red and yellow, and
surmounted by a ball and point. High
up, out of reach, is a small opening; and
low down, at the base, a slab, which is
said to be taken out when they consider
the building is full, so as to remove the
bodies. I climbed up to the window and looked
in ; the place was perfectly empty, and ap
peared to have been lately whitewashed.
There was not the slightest smell which
could lead one to suppose it had recently
held decomposed matter. On descending
to the ground, I examined the slab ; it had
certainly, by the appearance of the cement
round it, been set at no very distant period.

Kidnapping. 259
The whole edifice had received a fresh coat
of paint. It was therefore possible that
children had been thrown there, that the
place had been cleaned out, and, in fact,
that the reports of its being used as a re
ceptacle for any youngsters who were not
wanted, were true. I can only tell you what
I saw, and leave you to form your own con
clusion. Akin to this subject is another which is
at present creating a great stir in our settle
ment — I allude to kidnapping. Which na
tion is most to blame I do not intend to
discuss; the cooly trade is a disgrace to all
the powers put together ; but it reminds me
of an incident which happened to me the
other evening, which I think will amuse you,
as illustrative of one sort of courage among
the Chinese.
Returning home late the other evening
from a walk in the country, I had to pass
through a part called " Smith's Market,"
where congregate the worst part of the

26o Tlie Englishman in China.
native population (which the authorities most
foolishly have permitted to grow up into a
village at our very back-doors), when I saw
very plainly that I was followed by a
villanous-looking Canton man, who, as he
passed the various shops and houses, said
something which caused groans and hisses,
many "of the men and women joining with
ray pursuer, which it was evident the Can
tonese now was.
I felt perfectly innocent of having given
them cause for offence, and therefore put
it down either to kidnapping, which had
lately been carried to a great extent, or— -
and this was more likely — to a fight which
had occurred between some foreigners and
Chinese on this spot a few nights ago. Fear
was not my feeling; there was an excite
ment which overruled it. There was I,
without even a walking-stick, followed by an
angry mob, and nearly a quarter of a mile to
the nearest European house. I walked at
a brisk pace, having an instinctive feeling

A Pistol Pipe-case. i6\
that running would be my ruin. It was true
there was little chance of their murdering
me ; but yet they would, without doubt, so
maltreat me that I should be little better
off — for a Chinaman is innately cruel, and
when he gets a chance never fails to exercise
bis power. I always look back to this mo
ment, believing that in it I indeed received
assistance. I bad said to myself, " God help
me now !" My hand seemed guided to my
pocket, and the thought, my action, and
my deliverance, were the work of but one
minute. What think you I grasped? My
pipe-case !
Turning round suddenly, I levelled it at
the leader of the band, calling out in Chinese,
that if he moved one step he was a dead
man. Favoured by the twilight, my pipe-case
assumed the appearance of a pistol. The
leader was standing under a lamp ; I recog
nized him as a runaway boy, and, calling him

262 The Englishman in China.
by his name, told him to send away the
rabble, and then approach me. There was
a little whispering, and then, one by one,
they turned away, leaving only the Canton
boy, to whom I now walked up, taking care
he should not discover the nature of my
" pistol pipe-case"
I made him accompany me to the police-
station, where he said it was all a mistake ;
be, however, could only give so very poor an
account of himself, that the inspector de
cided upon giving the advantage of a night's
lodging and a dose of bread and water ; and
as the next day was Sunday, of course he
must remain till Monday. I often met him
afterwards in the settlement, and he in
variably touched his cap with great respect.
So some good came of great evil.
In order to repair the negligence on my
part of which you. complain, I will proceed
at once to tell you how " foreigners " do
business here. I have made most diligent

Tea-tasting. 263
inquiry for you, the result of which is as
follows, or thereabouts, as a lawyer would
say: —
A firm wishes to buy tea; they inform
their tea-taster of the fact, which is soon
noised abroad, and Chinese brokers flock
around him, armed with small tin canisters.
He walks into his tea-room, fitted with
shades, dark walls, and every other necessary
to insure his getting the best quality at the
lowest price.
His tea-boy now weighs a small quantity
of the contents of each tin box into a small
cup, pours in boiling water, turns a sand
glass upside down, and in five minutes de
clares all ready. Tea-taster, commencing at
his left, looks at the tea and smells it (the
canisters are each emptied on to white trays
corresponding to each cup), and then comes
to me the most horrid part, but they like
it. Sipping a little boiling tea in their
mouths, with the same noise a horse makes
in drinking, they taste and spit it out

264 T^ie Englishman in China.
into a tall funnel placed there for the. pur
pose. He writes down his character and valuation
of each, and of the best orders the broker
to bring "chest-muster" (or sample). Should
all progress favourably the godown is next
day filled with some two hundred chests of
tea, according to the number of chests in
" one chop."
These are opened indiscriminately, and our
tea-taster rejects that which he thinks bad,
sometimes the whole. At other times, when
be and the broker cannot agree, two other
tea-tasters are called in. Sometimes the case
has to go before the Consular Court for set
tlement. The salaries of these gentlemen
range from £300 to £600 per annum, but,
like those of the silk inspector, much depend
upon the house they go out to; the Ame
rican firms giving the most, the Scotch the
least, generous pay, England being repre
sented by a happy medium.
Our silk inspector, like his companion in

Silk Burying. 16^
tea, has to go through some years of study
ill England before he can be trusted to go
out to China : upon his manipulation and
jiidgment there often hang thousands. Silk
is a very valuable article, if you roughly take
each bale at £100 sterling. An order received
for a couple of hundred bales is so common
as to be thought nothing of, but you see it
depends upon his foreknowledge as to how
the £20,000 shall be spent. Silk is more
valuable than tea, but I much question if the
would-be tea-taster has not quite as hard
work before him in order thoroughly to learn
his profession. You improve your knowledge
of these articles in China, but you can never
learn them. This must be done at home;
first you must be well grounded.
With the silk schroff, or inspector of
silk, the native broker does the same as
with the teaman. Only it is uncommon
for one broker to be, seller of both tea
and silk. In the latter case he brings you a
sample bale containing a number of books.

266 Tlie Englishman in China.
or bundles, these being composed of nine
or twelve of what you call hanks, but
we mosses. You may examine sometimes
thirty bales before you find what you
require in price and quality, or, as it
is technically called, size. Then comes
the battle with the Chinaman, who may
have to consult half a dozen people ere
he can make his price agree with yours.
Our silk season dates from the 1st July
to the 30th June. We have increased
each year until our present export has
reached the enormous quantity of 80,000
bales, which, if we take the bale, as I said
before, roughly at £100, will give the vast
amount of £8,000,000 steriing.
Remember they can give us 120,000
bales per annum if we wish ; and then, if
you consider that every Chinese, male and
female (except, of course, the lower orders),
wears a silk garment of some sort, it may
give you a faint idea of what a silk-growing
country that must be which has so vast

Our Bridges. 267
a silk-wearing population, and yet can
spare 120,000 bales, or neariy sixteen mil
lion pounds' weight.
When the silk is purchased, it is examined,
repacked in four covers, and sent to England,
France, and America, by sailing and steam
vessels. So far for the mode of doing business
in silk and tea. The books, as you may
suppose, are kept in the usual way. But
I think there is one person of whom I
have never spoken to you, — the "schroff,"
an all-important personage in a house, as
it is to him you apply, and to him you
trust as to the quality of your dollars.
" Chop-dollars " are those which are stamped,
and remind one of pennies at home with
"Lloyd's Weekly Newspaper" on them.
At times there is much diflSculty in pass
ing these.
I enclose you a sketch of some of our
bridges, which I think will please you from
the variety of their form. Some, you see.

268 The Englishman in China.
are firm; one has broken down. This is
often the case ; they are only narrow slabs
of granite, over which your ponies trot
bravely, — in fact, none but these could go
over such narrow places.
And now, my dear friend, I am going
to astonish you, I expect. My old habit of
and love for a wandering life has for many
months been hanging upon me, until at
last it has taken firm hold of me: try
as I may, it is no use^ — so travel I must,
there is no help for it. Thoughts of dear
England, lively Paris, and gay Vienna,
float through all my dreams. My mind
is made up, and I leave China at once.
I am glad I came up to the north, instead
of remaining south, as I have seen more
of the natives than I could otherwise have
ever hoped to do.
I intend, if my life be spared, to have
another look some day at the scenes of
all the little incidents I have attempted
to describe to you, , and, thinking them

Ol/R. BRIDGES.

Anticipiations. 27 1
over again, breathe a prayer for their im
provement. In those days our Bund will doubt
less be shaded by fine trees. The river,
which is gradually altering its course, will
have cut a new channel and left poor
Shanghai far behind. Our Bund will con
tain less " gup," in consequence of the
scandal-mongers being rooted out. That
private club in " Smith's Market " will have
run its course, and its present members
become more respectable from dealing less
in amusements unworthy of gentlemen. In
fact, so great a change will the face of
everything wear, that it will be a treat
to revisit each spot.
When you receive this, I shall be in
some other land — where, I hardly know ;
but wherever it be, you shall hear of and
from me, and perhaps it may fall to my
lot to commence with you another such
correspondence as this, which. I trust may
not have been entirely without interest

272 The Englishman in China.
to you and yours ; and I assure you it
grieves me deeply that present circum
stances oblige me to bring my tale (tail)
to an end.

Wrindfall'and Kinder, Printers, Ani;cl Court, Skinner Stiect, London.

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Hanno.
A Tragedy. The Second Edition.
War Lyrics.
Second Edition. By A. and L. Shore.

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