YALE UNIVERSITY
LIBRARY

POLITICAL X-RAYS

BY

LESLIE CHASE

Croyez la ou non, ce m'est tout un ; mesuffist vous
avoir diet verit€. Rabelais, Pantagruel, Liv. iii, Chap. 52.
When Knaves and Fools combined o'er all prevail,
When Justice halts and Right begins to fail.
E'en then the boldest start from public sneers.
Afraid of shame, — by satire kept in awe,
And shrink trom Ridicule though not from Law.
English Bards and Scotch Reviewers, 31-36.
Oh — that mine adversary had written a book.
Job, xxxi, 35.

THE GRAFTON PRESS
NEW YORK MCMV

C^2."^.Z,B\i

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THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO THOSE WHO BELIEVE WITH THE
WRITER THAT EQUALITY BEFORE THE LAW IS THE ONE AND
ONLY POSSIBLE GOAL THAT MANKIND CAN AND SHALL REACH.
EQUALITY WHICH, WITHOUT DWARFING IN ANY WAY THE
SCOPE OF THE INDIVIDUAL POWERS, IS THE OPPOSITE OF
MILITARISM, IMPERIALISM, PROTECTION
AND KINDRED EVILS.

DIVISIONS.
PAGE
Mr. Theodore Roosevelt  i
President Wm. McKinley  53
The Spanish War . .  69
Political Conditions in the United States . . 102
Sir H. Campbell-Bannerman and Mr. Vallandigham 136
Mr. Richard Croker . . . . . 152
Admiral Dewey .... . . 157
Mr. Andrew Carnegie  160
Mr. Andrew D. White . . ... 168
United States Passports  175
The Dreyfus Case .... ... 183
Jay Gould and the Dreyfus Case . . . 192
Wall Street and The Legion of Honor ... 197
Mr. Joseph Chamberlain  212
The Boer War  228
Queen Victoria  251
Some English Methods  255
China ...  268
The Temporal Power  271
Saint Antoine de Paris  279
Mr. Rudyard Kipling ... .... 283
Mr. Moreton Frewen and Bimetallism . . . 287
Doctors and Vivisection  289
The Russo-Japanese War  298
Christian Science  310
Miscellanies  314
To Democrats  342

INDEX

PAGE

John Hampden ... ... 151
Professor Charles Eliot Norton ... 54
Gen. Woodford, late U. S. Minister to Spain . . 96
Gen. Alger, late U. S. Secy, of War . - . 91
Mr. j. D. Long, U. S. Secy, of the Navy . . 67
Postmaster-General Smith . . .58
Gen. Weyler, Spaniard . . . . 99
Mr. T. B. Reed, ex-Speaker U. S. House of Rep. 62
Mr. T. C. Platt, U. S. Senator . . .12
Mr. Depew, U. S. Senator .... .94
Mr. Mark A. Hanna, U. S. Senator . . .116
Mr. Matthew Stanley Quay, United States Senator
from Pennsylvania  49
Mr. j. H. Choate, Ambassador . . .162
Mr. Abraham Lincoln  .144
Mr. Grover Cleveland  242
Mr. Thomas Wentworth Higginson .... 93
Captain Mahan, U. S. Navy  236
Edward the "Caresser" .  234
Hannah More  213
WiLLLiM II. Emperor of Germany  312
Prince Bismarck  15°
President Kruger  248
Mr. Cecil Rhodes  248
The Lord Chancellor of England .... 263
Duke of Norfolk  274
Lord Salisbury  ^4

INDEX
PAGE
Lord Kitchener  240
Mr. j. Pierpont Morgan  198
Mr. Jas. J. Hill .  198
Mr. E. H. Harriman ... .... 198
Mr. j. D. Rockefeller  315
Mr. Jas. R. Keene  60
Mr. Schwab .... . . . . 163
President Schurman of Cornell University . . 64
Professor Brander Matthews  iii
M. Boni de Castellane  194
The London "Times"  216
The "Sun"  24
Congress   220

The writer of this book will not accept any money benefit from it.

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT.

Col. Roosevelt's Candidature.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The nomination of Theodore Roosevelt "for
Governor" will mark the lowest depth of political
degradation that the United States have thus far
reached. Roosevelt, when a young man, tried as
a legislator to vindicate his importance by making
himself conspicuous. Then he associated with "cow
boys" in order to acquire popularity with the rabble
of the West. As a Police Commissioner he advo
cated the theory that true courage derives its surest
inspiration from the sight of blood, and frequented
all the prize fights.
As Assistant Secretary of the Navy he did all in
his power to force his country into an iniquitous
war, in the hope of gaining some cheap military
glory with which to dazzle the vulgar mind. As a
soldier he ordered a charge of dismounted cavalry,
armed only with pistols, upon well-defended in-
I

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
trenchments, an act which would have caused him
to be shot in any army with the slightest pretension
to military science. As an ofiicer he inspired a
letter written by generals in face of the enemy,
"asking to be taken home."
As a politician his speeches show what efforts he
has made to flatter the credulous masses by appeal
ing to their vanity.
Such is the man who seeks minor political honors
before starting for the one coveted goal.
O fatal Presidential seat ! Why did a people as
"unstable" ^ as Americans struggle to separate them
selves from their natural ruler, an insane king? It
was done in the infancy of the nation, and one can
find a reason in Goethe's dictum, "Youth is drunk
enness without wine." Nomad.
St. Malo, September 26, 1898.
The New York Sun of October 24, 1898, copied
the greater part of this letter under this heading :
"One of the finest of the wandering American fools who il
luminate the columns of Mr. James Gordon Bennett's Paris edition
of the New York Herald furnishes his opinion of Theodore Roose
velt's career and character."
The Sun, with its usual sense of faimess, stopped,
however, at that sentence that alludes to Mr. Roose-
' Genesis, XLIX, 4.
2

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
velt's Presidential aspirations, which subsequent
events have done so much to confirm.^
The Evening Post of November 9, 1898, speak
ing of Quay's victory in Pennsylvania, adds:
"Pennsylvania thus touches the lowest depth of
political degradation ever reached by a state in the
Union." Which proves that the Evening Post reads the
Sun, even if it does not admit the fact.

CoL Roosevelt's Candidacy.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Colonel Roosevelt's course in regard to his taxes
is naturally a revelation.
But it is just to say that in the city of New York
a "personal tax" of some 2.1 per cent., when a
revenue of 3.25 per cent, is all that can be obtained
from taxable standard securities, is, after all, a prac
tical confiscation and only another form of the
misgovernment, or rather the want of government
almost amounting to chaos, which prevails in the
United States.
Colonel Roosevelt has set himself up as a teacher
' Le temps est pire de verity. — Rabelais, Pantagruel, Liv. Ill,
chap. II. 3

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
of "the highest kind of citizenship," ^ but his views
in relation to his civic obligations, if practiced by
all, would cause great confusion in the finances of
the state, and can hardly be considered as another
qualification for the office of governor. Yet, taken
in connection with the much condemned action of
the War Department, they may be said to furnish
additional proof, if it were needed, of how little
there is of substance or truth in what is called Amer
ican patriotism.* Therefore, "ubi bene, ibi patria," °
Nomad.
St. Malo, September 28, 1898.

Critic of Govemor Roosevelt.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Governor Roosevelt has called for May 22d an
extra session of the legislature in order to amend a
measure which by two special messages he himself
forced through on the last day of the session, which
ended on April 28th only.
The measure was so crude and communistic that
' On a beau faire, la v^rit^ s' €chappe et peree toujours les
tfofebres qui I'environnent. — Montesquieu, Lettres Persanes,
XXXV.
* Paucis judicium aut rei publicae amor. — ^Tacitus, Hist. I,
12. ' Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Emile, Livre IV.
La patrie est oti I'on est heureux. — Voltaire, Sifecle Louis XIV.
4

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
it threatened property to the extent of $200,000,000
with almost immediate confiscation. When will
foreign investors realize how common it is in Amer
ica to elect to office a demagogue who, thinking
himself a "statesman," is, after all, only a bull in a
china shop ? " Querist.
Paris, May, 1899.
Waning Freedom in America.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Governor Roosevelt, in spite of what Senator
Platt called his "demagogic" legislation, has been
made a "Doctor of Laws" by Columbia University.
The venerable institution has also permitted the
building of a gate in honor of the Santiago cam
paign. A campaign which, in view of the skill on
one side and the vigor on the other, may be com
pared to an attack of tramps upon a graveyard.''
It is one of the many signs of waning freedom in
America that even its educational centres are being
led to vie in sensationalism with the "yellow jour
nals." Observer.
Paris, June 20, 1899.
' Quoniam nemo eodem tempore assequi potest magnam
famam et magnam quietem. — ^Tacitus, De Oratoribus, XLI.
' Vide — La campagne de Santiago en 189S, par le Capitaine
A. Wester de I'etat-major g^n^ral de l'arm& suddoise. — "Le
Temps," le 17 mars, 1903.

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
Presidential Arrangements.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald states that Mr. Roosevelt is willing
to permit Mr. McKinley's re-election as President
in 1900, and that Mr. McKinley will kindly consent
to Mr. Roosevelt's election to the same office in
1904. Has Mr. Roosevelt selected his successor
for 1912, or will he decide to "hold over"? *
The Agricultural Department's report shows that
the number of sheep in the United States has dimin
ished; but such amiable political arrangements
prove that, according to the last census, there are
at least 70,000,000. A Voter.
Paris, July 2, 1899.

The American Hampden.
To the Editor of the Herald:
In view of the honors showered upon Mr. Roose
velt, it is strange that he has not been named the
American rival of John Hampden, for he is the only
known citizen of the United States who, by legal
* Gratias egit diis immortalibus, quod ille vir in hac republica
potissimum natus esset: necesse enim fuisse, ibi esse terrarum
imperium, ubi ille esset. — Cicero, Oratio pro Murena, 75.
6

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
process, has forced the authorities to let him pay
his taxes.'
With a slight change of wording one can say of
him, as Cervantes said of Don Quixote: "Before
attempting to tax others he had learned to tax him
self." A Stockholder.
Paris, August 21, 1899.

He Wants to Know, You Know.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Governor Roosevelt, with his usual typewriting
machine fluency, and speaking in a Republican city
"that casts 80,000 fraudulent votes," has announced
that a defeat of the Republican ticket will be a
"moral disgrace."^"
The gentleman should follow Dr. Johnson's ad
vice : "Clear your mind of cant." ^^
In view of broken Porto Rican tariff promises
and "sworn off" taxes, and with "166 schools of
theology in the United States," religious America
ought to have some difficulty to explain why the
' Toute action est propre ^ nous faire connaitre. — Montaigne,
Liv. I.
En rapprochant ainsi diverses actions d'un homme on parvient
^ p^ntoer dans les replis de son coeur. — M&noires de Beaumar-
chais. '» Take ph)rsic, pomp. — King Lear, Act III, Sc. 4.
" Boswell's Life of Johnson. 7

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
country should elect Messrs. McKinley and Roose
velt as the exponents of its truth and citizenship." Querist.
Paris, June 24, igoo.

Refused by the Evening Post of New York City.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
The Evening Post, in a recent article, affirms
that Mr. Roosevelt tries to silence his opponents by
the mere force of asseveration, forgetting that no
other Governor, since Sancho Panza, has done so
much to instruct his ignorant but docile people upon
every known subject save that of "wire-pulling"
for the next Presidency. It would be gratifying to
hear the statesman preach on Archbishop Whately's
proposed text : "Hang the law and the prophets !"
But reflection leads one to compare the political
feverishness of our peripatetic warrior with the calm
return to ordinary duty of the defender of Mafe-
king, and one insensibly quotes the phrase : "Words,
these be women ; deeds, these alone be men." ^*
Observer.
Paris, July, 1900.
" II me plait de voir combien il y a de lichet^ et de pusillani
mity en I'ambition. — Montaigne.
'' Feminis lugere honestum est, viris meminisse. — ^Tacitus,
De Germania, XXVII. 8

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
Refused by the Herald.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Mr. Roosevelt, a short time before Mr. McKin
ley's death, said at a public meeting in Chicago, in
what may be called an ante-Czolgosz speech:
"The trouble with the Spanish war was, that there
was not war enough to go round." ^*
It is possible that some of those who share Mr.
Roosevelt's lingering regrets may not have read the
description of Sedan given by the London Times:
"Let your readers fancy masses of colored rags
glued together with blood and brains, and pinned
into strange shapes by fragments of bones. Let them
conceive men's bodies without heads, legs without
bodies, heaps of human entrails attached to red and
blue cloth, and disembowelled corpses in uniform,
bodies lying about in all attitudes, and skulls shat
tered, faces blown off, hips smashed, bones, flesh,
and gay clothing all pounded together as if brayed
in a mortar, extending for miles, not very thick in
any one place, but recurring perpetually for weary
hours; and then they cannot, with the most vivid
imagination, come up to the sickening reality of
that butchery." An Internationalist.
Paris, December 15, 1901.
"Pigrum quin immo et iners videtur sudore acquirere quod
possis sanguine parare. — Tacitus, De Germania, XIV.
9

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
Conceming the Damnation of Infants.
To the Editor of the Herald:
How exhilarating to have Mr. Roosevelt as
President! Under Mr. Cleveland, the best of
Democrats had to say: "O, that this too too solid
flesh would melt," etc. ; *" but Mr. Roosevelt is
always "fresh."
Papers report he is going to the Presbyterian
Centennial to settle the question of the  Damna
tion of Infants.^'
If the Herald would start a subscription all would
join, for a good big cheque would persuade the par
sons to save the little ones.
Realizing that it has taken 300 years and trav
elling sixty miles a second, for the light of the
"new" star in Perseus to reach the earth, it would
appear that there are some matters President
Roosevelt and the Dominies could safely allow the
Almighty to arrange. "Commentator."
Paris, May 23.
A Little Story by " Nomad."
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Matin asserts that the King of England
has intimated in regard to the new fiscal policy that
•" Hamlet, Act I, Sc. 2.
'° Postquam ad providentiam sapientiamque flexit, nemo
risui temperare. — ^Tadtus, Ann. XIII, 3.
10

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
"he does not wish to have any of his people starve,
and that the lot of the poor is hard enough already."
Since Henri IV. with his "bottle of wine and a
chicken in the pot" there has been no such fine ex
pression of true bonhomie. Lucky England ! And
what a fall from this manly sympathy to the "intel
lectual activity" of which the London Times speaks,
and which reminds one of the man who had liver
complaint, took "liver invigorating" medicine, then
died ; but the medicine stimulated the liver so much
that two years after the man's death they had to
beat it down with sticks to make it stay in the grave.
Paris, September 24, 1903. NoMAD.

Rooseveltiana.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — I translate the following from the well-
known French journal, Le Fumiste. The French'
paper, in its turn, claims to have taken the article
from an American newspaper. Can you tell me
from which one? X.
Paris, December 3.
ROOSEVELTIANA,
Or the History of the United States since Septem
ber, 1901 — Leaves from a Mislaid Diary.
September, 1901. ... At last I am President.
II

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
Of course, some long-headed but over-frank clergy
man will assert : "God took away a good man to put
a better one in his place." But when sneering poli
ticians said of me last March : "He is on the side of
the Presidential chair that has no seat," I remem
bered my Macbeth: The greatest is behind. ^^
October, 1901. . . . While still keeping my
promise to carry out Mr. McKinley's policy, am
enjoying the repose of the White House. When
Governor had to travel down to New York every
Sunday to take lessons in wire-pulling from a crusty
old political incubus. Yet the Evening Post says,
"Platt has never done anything." Why, he nearly
succeeded in shutting me up in that disreputable
chamber where I could only talk to those who "have
their ears set in the palms of their hands." ^*
December, 1901. . . . Went to New York to
Chamber of Commerce dinner. How fine feathers
make fine birds ! When Governor my eloquence
was styled type-writing machine fluency; now it is
revered wisdom. At this rate the sensible phrase
in a recent London Daily Mail that I am "America's
uncrowned King" may be prophetic.
July, 1902. ... My position as to the "Trusts"
is misunderstood. I knew perfectly well all about
" Act I, Sc. 3.
*^ Christopher North, Noctes Ambrosianae.
12

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
the "Trusts" long before my election — ^their origin,
scope and purpose — but said nothing. I only wish
to destroy one "Trust," and that is the mistaken one
on the silver dollar. It should read "We Trust in
Teddy." October, 1902. ... So Tom Reed is dead!
What a flare he had for genius. He said I was
"America's greatest living thinker." As regards
bulk, Tora would have filled the Presidential chair
better than I do ; but as my Vice-President it would
have been Mrs. Jellyby's ideal union of "mind and
matter." December, 1902. . . . Have written a preface for
a book. Am tired of being compared with the
German Emperor. Prefer Augustus of Saxony,
named by Carlyle "the physically strong," and yet
he was father of only "178 children."
Aux calendes Grecques. . . . Have a pain in my
face. But doctor tells me that every human cheek
has six muscles, now dormant, but which once
served to wag the ears, and that excessive verbosity
irritates these muscles and causes suffering for
everybody. Rest of Diary lost.

13

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
The " Daily Mail's " Temerity.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Does French law forbid you to discuss the acts
of foreign rulers? If not, why do you allow the
Daily Mail to inform the world that Mr. Roosevelt
has "faked" great portions of his Presidential
Message — a scandal equal to that of his shirking
taxes in 1898. You know well that the London
Times has charged Mr. Roosevelt with pandering
to "Labor," in order to get votes ; that the Morning
Post has accused him of making war on capital for
the same purpose; and that the New York Com
mercial states that he has "to luncheon strike lead
ers — organizers of crime, getting free passes for
them over the railroads."
Two months ago your columns were flooded with
advice to buy American stocks. The advice was
good; but how do you expect to build up confi
dence when, by your silence as to matters of para
mount importance, you admit that the system of
universal wreckage inaugurated by Mr. Roosevelt
may last until the end of his "accidental term?"
"A Friend.'"
Paris, December 10, 1903.

14

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
Because They Couldn't Vote Him Out of the Chair.
To the Editor of the Herald:
A wide experience proves that the Herald has
less "parti-pris" than any journal known; it comes
nearest to the fundamental law: "II n'y a de bon
que de se moquer de tout." ^® But, despite your
sneer, "Correspondent" presents the fact that, until
the "Northern Pacific decision" is given, all invest
ors in American securities must feel that they have
their money shut up in a volcano. The President's
personal order — ^that is, without consulting his Cab
inet — "to defeat well-laid plans for the capture of
the world's commerce" virtually put a torch to the
whole fabric of American development. And if
Americans had to have a ruler whose activity con
sists in sitting on an uncovered barrel of gunpow
der, striking matches, why did they rebel against
poor, insane, old George III. ?
Paris, January i6.  "Un CoULISSIER."
The Small Investors Were the Sufferers.
Editor Herald:
Sir, — You and certain admirers have talked so
much lately about the Herald's "impartiality," "love
" Voltaire ^ d'Alembert, Lettre 133.
Ridiculum acri
Fortius et melius magnas plerumque secat res.
— Horace, Sat. I, 10, 14-15.
IS

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
of facts," etc., that if Pontius Pilate had asked 1,900
years later, "What is truth ?" 2° some boy with his
little hatchet would probably have answered, "What
the Herald prints." But will you let me avail myself
of the "Northern Pacific decision" to comment upon
the general opinion that President Roosevelt and
Wall Street are natural enemies, and for cause.
President Roosevelt has not only not injured Wall
Street, but the "bear" element there, or Wall Street
"proper," has gained hundreds of millions through
Mr. Roosevelt's "lawless" interference with eco
nomic conditions. The American press asserts that
the Rockefeller interest alone has made fabulous
sums by "bearing" stocks. And the gigantic losses
of the last year have fallen upon Wall Street "im
proper," or the great masses of small investors,
who, influenced by Mr. Roosevelt's promise to carry
out Mr. McKinley's policy, believed in their coun
try's continued and progressive prosperity. Capi
talists are angry because they feel that Mr. Roose
velt has given them a "coup de Jarnac" in return
for their pledge to sustain the business fabric, so
disastrously affected when Garfield was shot.
With the cost of living in the United States "higher
to-day than for twenty years back," Mr. Roosevelt
has simply succeeded in ruining an innocent pubhc,
2»St. John, XIX, 38.
16

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
as surely as if he had used the almost uncontrolled
power of the Presidency to attack private interests,
such as savings banks and life insurance com
panies. As capitalists work for their own pockets,
and as Mr. Roosevelt is admittedly lending his
great office and authority to re-election purposes,
one can now say with the woman who was told that
her husband was fighting with a bear : "Let 'em go
on ; it's a matter of perfect indifference to me which
gets licked." "Un Coulissier."
Paris, Ie i6 mars.

Is This a Case of Sour Grapes?
To the Editor of the Herald:
A letter in your paper of July S, 1899, said:
"Has Mr. Roosevelt selected his successor for 1912,
or will he decide to 'hold over' " ? President Roose
velt's arbitrary order to pay out of the United States
Treasury pensions to all Civil War veterans over
sixty-two years of age seems to answer your corre
spondent's doubt. And one need no longer express
surprise over the declaration openly made of late in
Paris salons by an American with high diplomatic
connections, that Mr. Roosevelt "intends to make
himself Emperor !" O, George IIL, why did Amer
icans abandon you ?
Paris, March 21. "AmERICUS."
17

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
Quoting From the "Moming Post."
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald, as a representative in Europe of
American ideas, should no longer ignore the denun
ciation by English journals of President Roosevelt's
"attack on the United States Treasury." Even the
Morning Post — firm advocate of the ideas of Mr.
Chamberlain, who called Mr. Roosevelt "that great
man" — says of the "Pension Decree" : "Mr. Roose
velt's complete surrender to the raiders of the public
Treasury augments one of the greatest and most
ignoble scandals of American public life. We
should have expected Mr. Roosevelt to be among
the first to protect the Treasury against the spoilers.
Instead of that he has opened wide the doors, and
invited all to come and take their fill." Owing to
the almost unlimited power of the President, and to
the fact that impeachment is a difficult and uncer
tain means of control, the ability of the individual to
protest now lies only in a resort to the American
press. "An American."
Paris, March 24. Taking the Lid OfF.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Will you permit a reference to the Morning Post's
article on the "Northern Pacific Decision" that : "It
18

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
is a great victory for President Roosevelt and his
Administration." But President Roosevelt's Pyrrhic
victory is declared by Justice White to be "destruc
tive of government, of human liberty, and of every
principle on which organized society depends." And
further, the Post says : "In any country where rea
son holds sway a legislative blunder of this nature
would be promptly corrected." One is unavoidably
reminded of Mr. Sidney Webster's comment on the
Supreme Court's action in the "Philippine Case,"
"that it recalled Lord Mansfield's famous advice:
Give your decisions, never your reasons ; your decis
ions may be right, your reasons are sure to be
wrong." The question then arises: Is Mr. Roose
velt an accident or a type ? Formerly in the United
States government was held to be the weapon of
common action, and the President was considered in
the words of Frederick the Great, "the chief servant
of the State"; but the Supreme Court has, by a
strictly partisan vote, now virtually made him an au
tocratic dispenser of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit
of Happiness. In other words, the justices of the
Supreme Court are politicians first and judges after
ward f^ and one may apply to them Mme. de Pom-
^' Dans ce pays-d oil I'on prend les magistrats parmi les
gens trop b^tes pour gagner leur vie k etre avocat. — M^rim^e,
Lettres h, une Inconnue. 19

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
padour's excuse to her husband : "Before I became
your wife, I was the subject of the King." The
Herald has recently published a long letter by Mr.
Charles F. Beach, Jr., on the somewhat antiquated
topics of Kant and Napoleon. No apologies, there
fore, are offered for these remarks upon a subject
which must interest every American worthy of the
name, even if the conclusion is inevitable that the
whole course of American history has thus resulted
in a veritable reductio ad absurdum. And Ameri
cans who love their country, and who do not think
that because a man is a "patriot" he ought to have a
pension and be made an office-holder, will never rest
content until the United States is no longer what an
Englishman said of the State of Pennsylvania:
"H— 1 with the lid off."
Paris, le 7 April. "Un CoULISSIER."

A Very Strong Character.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The letter of Mr. C. Augustus Haviland in your
issue of to-day leads one to hope that the Herald
will this time more than ever throw its influence in
favor of a non-personal Presidential campaign. Mr.
Roosevelt is now "known of all men,"** and if the
" II Corinthians, IH, a.
20

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
American people choose him for their ruler they will
have only themselves to blame for the consequences
incidental to his character. Let Democrats, if they
will, assert that the coming election is to be, on the
part of the Republicans, a hypocritical defence of
that great "Trust" which Mr. Cleveland called a
"public" one ; and that the Democratic party, finally
leaving the questions of tariff and silver to the test
of national experience, takes the ground that both
Republicans and Democrats remember with pride
and satisfaction the dignity and conservatism that
characterized President Arthur's "accidental term."
I approve so highly of the Herald's course in letting
both sides have access to its columns that I think the
Herald can proudly take for its motto Voltaire's fa
mous expression, "Celui qui pense fait penser."
"One of the People."
Palis, April 13th.
Capital and Labor in the United States.
To the Editor of the New York Herald:
Instead of letters written in general and confusing
terms, why not get a recognized business authority
to describe the existing state of capital and labor in
the United States ? For, with money, day after day,
"unloanable" at even i per cent., capital is practi
cally prostrate; yet the railway companies cannot
21

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
borrow important sums because capitalists fear that
President Roosevelt "by his personal order, that is,
without consulting his Cabinet" — may attack rail
road combinations of acknowledged utility and ben
efit. What if the President should order the Attor
ney-General to break the leases of the Harlem road
to the New York Central and of the Pittsburg, Fort
Wayne and Chicago, and of the New Jersey Rail
road and Transportation Companies to the Pennsyl
vania road, whose securities are now considered to
be among the best and strongest of those held by life
insurance companies and by savings banks ?
Of course, Mr. Depew — the Admirable Crichton
of America — will chuckle over this, and repeat the
old grind that the Fort Wayne lease was drawn up
by Mr. Samuel J. Tilden, and, therefore, cannot be
broken. But how about Mr. Tilden's will!
Then, as to labor. For fifteen months in Colorado
there has been an internecine war between capital
and labor — or anarchy pure and simple. Now, there
is a great strike in the beef trade, a strike of 30,000
operatives in the cotton districts, and a projected
strike in the anthracite region. And all mainly be
cause labor counted on the interposition of a Presi
dent who, according to the New York Commercial,
"has to luncheon strike leaders — organizers of crime
— getting free passes for them over the railroads."
22

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
You are not forced to publish this ; but you can
not suppress facts, and you should not, by your si
lence, aid Republican officeholders to propagate the
idea that Theodore Roosevelt is the only man in the
United States with any force of character, and that
all the other seventy-five millions of Americans are
but bulbous-headed bipeds, with the backbone of a
sponge. "Impransus."
Paris, August 4, 1904.
A Fervent Democrat's Views.
Mr. Editor — Have you remarked the intense anx
iety of the English press to elect Mr. Roosevelt?
Especially that part of the press that is bolstering up
Mr. Chamberlain's schemes, now listened to only by
Dukes ?
When Disraeli wished to be very contemptuous,
he would say : "Why, he's a Duke." The Morning
Post, speaking of Mr. Roosevelt, says: "It is the
curse of politics to get rid of such a President" ; and
in its fury describes Jefferson as a demagogue, be
cause he was a Democrat and — a "gentleman." Mr.
Roosevelt has called Democrats "prison vermin."
Yet there are over six millions of us, and those of
us still out of jail next November will vote for Mr.
Parker. Now the English press is shrieking out with mad
23

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
delight that "the trusts have captured Mr. Roose
velt" — in other words, the New York Sun has "come
out" for him. The English press should be told that
the Sun is an utterly discredited sheet since the
elder Dana "turned on" Grant because Grant would
not give him the New York CoUectorship. The
Sun only differs from the "Yellow Press" by reason
of its almost feminine persiflage, and the most intel
ligent of its staff once named it the "Opera Bouffe
of New York papers." Like the "Yellow Press,"
the Sun is not yet excluded from the clubs, as "not
fit for decent people to read," but the contempt in
which it is held by the public is shown by the saying,
now a proverb : "If you see it in the Sun it isn't so."
If such a paper is a reflex of American probity and
sense, thoughtful Americans must repeat Mr.
Phelps's words over the Spanish war: "God help
us!"" Leslie Chase.

A Diplomatic Cuss, Indeed.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — The manifesto in to-day's Herald of Mes
sieurs James C. Carter, Wheeler H. Peckham, John
E. Parsons, and others is one of the most extraordi
nary political utterances of modern times. If the
Chief Magistrate of the American Republic is, as
'' Letter to the New York Herald, March 29, rSgS.
24

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
they pretend, an impulsive autocrat, why have they
waited until now to protest ? If their forefathers had
acted in the same way their native land would still
be a British Colony. And do these men propose to
fight fire with feathers? For, liberally translated,
their prononciamento may read: The "accidental"
Bombastes Furioso, who seeks election, has injured
our speculators, blackened domestic politics, advo
cated fecundity and would stop divorce. We "de
mand" a President we have to look for with a mi
croscope. However, the Herald's absolutely unas
sailable position, that the United States should re
turn, and at once, to sound constitutional principles,
has not been taken a moment too soon. For, be
tween Republican audacity and Democratic pusillan
imity, the country seems to be preparing for itself
a future either of Despotism or Anarchy.
Dinard, le 17 ao<lt. "DiPLOMATICUS."
Perhaps He Would Prefer to be the Hangman?
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald allows its readers to discuss it, so I
formulate some ideas patent to thoughtful men.
The Herald does not "propose to reform the world,"
but it always fights tooth and nail, for the vital in
terests of the American people. Last autumn, when
the sneering English press was describing American
25

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
financial enterprises as a row of tumbling bricks,
even decrying the great American life insurance
companies, and "another panic of 1857" seemed in
evitable, the Herald, by a series of remarkable arti
cles, was largely instrumental in stemming the cur
rent. Day after day, it proved that recognized
American securities were absolutely sound, and
urged people to buy them. Good, solid judgment!
St. Paul, then 134, is now 151 ; Atchison, then 58,
is now 81 ; Union Pacific, then 68, is now 99, etc.
The Herald is now doing a similar thing in poli
tics. The Herald is neither Republican nor Demo
crat; and, undoubtedly, it would have "worked
hard" for John Hay or John D. Long, men of
whom all Americans, Republicans or Democrats, are
justly proud; but it is evident, from the Herald's
present "leaders," that Mr. Roosevelt's friends
should have made him retire from public life and
not subject himself to additional notoriety; and it is
more than evident that Mr. Roosevelt embodies
Voltaire's dissection of Jean- Jacques Rousseau:
"He would be willing to be hanged in order to have
his name appear in the death sentence."^*
Paris, August 20th. "Peregrinus."
"A d'Alembert, Lettre 133.
Sed praefulgebant Cassius atque Brutus eo ipso, quod effigies
eorum non visebantur. — ^Tacitus, Ann. Ill, 70.
26

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
It's Not Even "Pronunciamento."
To the Herald:
I say, Mr. Editor, your "Diplomatic Cuss" from
Dinard "makes me tired." He's evidently lived so
long in Paris he's got Paresis ; for it isn't "pronon
ciamento" but "pronunciamento." He makes me
think of what Lord Stratford de Redclyffe — family
name, Boggs, or Strutt, or Hogg, or something like
that — formerly British Ambassador to Turkey, the
little English mosquito that stung the Russian bear
into the Crimean war, once said to his secretary:
"D  ^n your eyes, you don't know how to spell."
"D  n your Excellency's eyes, I do," replied the
youngster. There's a Republican sheep here who says he
ought to vote for Teddy because he's the party's
nominee ; but his wife's got all the money, and says
he shan't, for it's extremely vulgar to have children.
If you publish this, please put in a sure cure for
rheumatism and old age.
"An ex-Gambler."
Hotel de I'Etablissement, Divonne-les-Bains, August 22d.

27

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
The Coming Cmcial Test.
To the Herald:
Mr. Elihu Root, who helped Mr. RooseveU
"swear on" his taxes in 1898, is raising the false
issue that Mr. Davis is too old to be Vice-President.
Lucky China! In the United States there is one
lawyer to every 700 of the people, but in China
there is only one to every 10,000, and yet mission
aries are trying to open China to "civilization"!
But despite lawyers, missionaries, and even the fear
less Herald, that, with prudent courtesy, may say:
It isn't wise to be so blunt — this is not a Republican
or a Democratic year in the United States — and the
coming election will prove one thing and only one
thing, viz., are the American people fit for self-gov
ernment? In other words. Will the American peo
ple, next November, elect as their Chief Magistrate
a man who will exercise the almost uncontrolled
powers of the Presidency according to Constitution
al methods, or will they choose one whose actions
have shown that he is prepared to treat the Presi
dential office as his personal appanage ?
"The Man in the Street."
Paris, August 30th.

28

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
Mr. Roosevelt Rearranging the American
Language.
To the Herald:
Sir, — Now that Mr. Roosevelt has ordered his
embassies to impose a "fresh" nomenclature upon a
submissive world, he should go a step further and
separate "American" grammar from "American"
polity. For it sounds awkward to say : The United
States is — it is like saying: All Americans is like
Roosevelt ; and if one says : The United States are —
what becomes of the motto : E Pluribus Unum ? So
while Mr. Roosevelt is rearranging the "American"
language, it would be a pity to put the Republicans
out and the Democrats in. For Tom Reed called
Mr. Roosevelt "our greatest living thinker," and
Mr. Roosevelt has intimated that Mr. Cleveland's
"English is so involved" he must write with a cork
screw. But some day a "stronger than"*" Roosevelt
may decide that "American" is unfair to neighbors
and to Amerigo Vespucci, and have all the Embas
sies marked "Vespucian." And then Americans will
get so mixed up they'll think they are like the people
of some South American republic : part Indian, part
negro, and mostly cigarette stains !
Paris, August 31. PURIST.
" St. Luke, XI, 22.
Les sottises des hommes m^ritent qu'on s'en rie et non pas qu'on
s'en f^che.— d'Alembert k. Voltaire, Lettre 65.
29

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
Although Some of the Pleasures of Life Are a
Long Way Astem of Him, He Can Still
Vote the Democratic Ticket.
Dear Herald:
I sail for home on Sunday from Cherbourg,
and I want to thank you right here for the
pleasure I and my friends have had in reading the
Herald while we've been traveling around Europe.
Last spring I sent my boy over to join the French
Academy, so as to learn good French; but he
soon wrote "he had found a Collage in Paris" —
that boy never could spell — "that would teach him
more in a week than any forty old fossils you could
scrape up with a toothpick." But his education got
so expensive I had to come over. I've been leaming
a little, and have less money than ever, but I now
know a bit of French, and can say with Voltaire:
"Paris, ville oti tout le monde cherche le plaisir et ou
presque personne ne le trouve."**
No wonder Burke hated the French. He came to
Paris too old. For as I hobble along the boulevards
with gout in one foot and rheumatism in the other,
2» Candide.
C'etait une bonne ville pour vivre mais non pour mourir.
— Rabelais. That rapid concentrated life which is known only in Paris.
— George Eliot. 30

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
and sixty years, bien sonnes, and hear a passing voice
call me "beau gargon," I can appreciate old Burke's
senile rage : "What shadows we are, and what shad
ows we pursue."*'' But I'm only going home to
vote the Democratic ticket ; for I can say as Teddy
said when he was less Empirical: "I could die for
Free Trade." "Nauticus."
Paris, September 2d.

Mr. Roosevelt's Fame Going Round the World.
Dear Herald:
The Matin's laudation of Mr. Roosevelt shows
that Mr. Roosevelt's fame is going round the world.
It has already left the United States. Then, again,
Mr. Roosevelt is the first person to think of the poor
old veterans. It has been a disgrace to the country
to see these wretched creatures wearily hobbling
along on crutches, day after day, up to the Pension
Office, trying to get a little money for having been
killed over forty years ago! And now, thanks to
Teddy, every cul-de-jatte in the United States will
have a pied-a-terre — let us hope, not in Vermont,
which is so Prohibition that not even a dog there is
permitted to whine! Yet Vermonters do an awful
" Pulvis et umbra sumus. — ^Horace, Odes, IV, 7.
31

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
lot of what the Scotchman called hard drinking —
sitting on a rock sipping cold water.** An ex-Gambler.
Lucerne, September 15th.

The Chief Magistrate of the United States Must
Observe Not Only the Letter, but the
Spirit of the Constitution.
To the Editor of the Herald:
As the Morning Post professes to be free from
partisanship in its advocacy of Mr. Roosevelt's elec
tion, please publish the following, which it has re
fused :
Sir, — Will you permit one you have already fa
vored to call to your attention that your "leader" of
September 13th on the "Presidential election in the
United States" ignores the point that the independ
ent voters — almost to a man — are opposed to Mr.
Roosevelt. For the action of such men as James C.
Carter, Wheeler H. Peckham, John E. Parsons, and
others, and the energetic measures of the Lawyers'
Constitutional Club of New York City emphasize
the fact, that in a country where the powers of the
'' Nulla placere diu nec vivere carmina possent
Quae scribuntur aquEe potoribus. — Horace, Epistolae, XIX, 2.
32

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
President are almost uncontrolled — a country still
composed of elements so heterogeneous that they
cannot as yet comprehend and appreciate their moral
responsibility towards the State and towards each
other — it is of vital importance to the country itself,
and to the world at large, that the Chief Magistrate
should be one who observes not only the spirit, but
the strict letter of the Constitution as well. It is
more than probable that Mr. Roosevelt will be elect
ed; but the non-office-seeking Americans who will
grieve over his election must remember with Taci
tus: "Principes mortales, rem publicam aeternam
esse."*'' X.
Paris, September 24th.

Refused by the Herald.
Dear Herald:
America ahead of all the world ! English writers
prove it ! Mr. James Bryce calls Mr. Roosevelt the
"greatest President since Washington" — ^but Prof.
Goldwin Smith says of Gladstone: "He was mor
ally insane ; he was essentially a demagogue who
was swayed far more by the passion for popular ap
plause than by fixed and well-considered theories of
public policy or of duty. He loved power and
» Annales, III, 6.
33

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
sought it by every means, sometimes with great ad
vantages, but as often with disastrous results to his
country." Ain't we Americans lucky ?
An ex-Gambler.
September. Refused by the Herald.
To the Herald:
I have written a book criticising President Roose
velt, and shall take it to New York. Will it be seized
by Mr. Roosevelt's personal order, as was the case
with photographs that represented him embracing a
negro ? There is nothing in the book more incrimi
nating than this : "Mr. Roosevelt — after the man
ner of royalty — is giving signed photographs of
himself. He has not written yet Dux, Imperator,
which, with Panama, would recall Voltaire's descrip
tion of Holland : 'Canards, Canaux, Canaille.' "
Leslie Chase.
October. Refused by the Herald.
If the Herald is sincere in maintaining that the
election of Mr. Roosevelt jeopardizes the future of
the United States, why not vary the theme and harp
a little on the fact that Massachusetts accepts Mr.
Roosevelt as the exponent of American political
34

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
probity and, despite consequences patent to any in
telligence, will "go Republican" in November.
It is evident from this that the microbe of Puri
tanism which has for so long cankered the American
body politic is still at work. Charles Russell Lowell
said that "the people of Massachusetts are the most
instructed and the least informed of any in the
world." And it is firm proof of the soundness of his
conclusion that a State that boasts of having "one of
the finest public libraries in the world," is one that
parades the side-splitting gush of Lilian Whiting as
true delicacy of expression and the illiterate jumble
of Mrs. Eddy as profundity of thought.^"
The Civil War confirmed the self-claimed power
of the Constitution to force a State to stay in the
Union ; but the Constitution should now incorporate
an ipso facto right to drive a State out of the Union
for just and necessary reasons. And the coming
election will permit the exercise of this right, as re
gards Massachusetts, on the plea that should be dear
to Puritanical flexibility: If thy right eye offend
thee, pluck it out and cast it from thee.'^
Impransus.
Paris, October.
'" Ce sont eux qui ont invent^ les pantalons. — Brillat Savarin,
i'hysiologie du Godt, Meditation, XII.
" St. Matthew, V, 30. 35

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
Refused by the Herald.
"H.'s" letter in to-day's Herald is only additional
evidence of the pretentiousness of the hydrocephalic
Bostonian. For the best possible defence of Massa
chusetts has already been made by the ponderous
Daniel Webster — "The fullest brain Massachusetts
will ever expose" ; yet a brain always fired with am
bition and generally under such high pressure as to
recall Milton's dictum: "for spirits, when they
please, can either sex assume, or both."^* Now, it
is well known that Boston's famous objection to a
tax on tea served merely as an excuse for vulgar
robbery. No protest was made at the time against
a corresponding tax on molasses, for molasses was
being made into rum. And a lot of ruffians — "pa
triots," if you please, but ruffians all the same —
wished to get tea for nothing, so they sacked an ill-
guarded English ship under cover of night ; and un
prejudiced readers of history know that the stolen
tea was not thrown into Boston harbor, but sold in
Boston shops ; they know, moreover, that Massachu-
setts's war on George III. was because the honest
lunatic was opposed to the burning of decrepit old
women as witches,'' and that now Massachusetts's
^ Paradise Lost, I, 423-4.
" The buming of witches in New England ended in 1692,
but the original tendency had fruit in "lynching." John Wesley,
36

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
vote for Roosevelt is a natural political expression
on the part of a State whose infancy was fed on
brigandage and fanaticism.
October. Impransus.
If Mr. Roosevelt Is Re-elected, the United States
Should Tear Up Constitution.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Your remarkable "leader" of October Sth, that
the election of Mr. Roosevelt as President means a
one-man's power in the United States, permits one
to ask: If Mr. Roosevelt is defeated, or in John
sonian diction, dropped into the fathomless abyss of
the past, how will Mr. Hay and Mr. Root, who, in
the matter of brain power have been the real
movers of the so-called Roosevelt Administration,
be judged by posterity? Will John Hay, who has
received the "Panama" ribbon for his faithful observ
ance of the "Treaty of 1846," be considered for his
part in Rooseveltiana, a Man of Straw; and will
Elihu, who after Theodore Roosevelt, had swom
that he did not owe any taxes, helped him to swear
that he did, be called the "Root of all Evil.'"* The
the founder of Methodism, asserted his unbounded belief in witch
craft, saying that when he gave it up he should abandon the Bible.
Vide Lecky's "England in the Eighteenth Century," II, 645.
"I Timothy, VI, 10.
37

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
question to be settled in November is not whether
Mr. Roosevelt is to be the next President, but
whether the American people will abandon self-gov
ernment ; and if Mr. Roosevelt is elected the United
States should at once tear up their Constitution and
apply for readmission to the British Empire. It
would be better to be an equal part than to be servile
imitators of a policy inaugurated by those megalo
maniacs, Joseph Chamberlain and Rudyard Kip
ling ! DiPLOMATICUS.
Dinard, October nth.

Will "Thoughtful Americans" Find Any Consola
tion in Horace's Line?
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — In reply to Mr. Hammond, and without
forcing my individuality upon those for whom I
have found a reason and for whom I am not bound
to find an understanding, permit me to agree with
Mr. Hammond that Mr. Roosevelt, to-day, is a full-
developed expression of the American character,
whether of the Republican or Democratic party.
And as Mr. Hammond appeals to results, here are
a few facts that are admissible :
Within a brief space of time there have been 600,-
000 divorces in the United States, or one divorce to
38

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
every four marriages (vide Herald and Bishop
Doane), so that Free Trade in the United States
would seem to be confined to the Divorce Court.
Last year there were 9,948 people killed, and some
60,000 wounded, on the American railways. Mr.
Depew, a United States Senator, declared formerly
that the United States "was controlled by 500 capi
talists" ; the Herald, October 17th, page 6, column 3,
shows that this number is reduced to three. If all
this is the outcome of over 100 years' experimental
government, pure logic must conclude that the
United States is fast sinking to the level of a South
American Republic, and Mr. Roosevelt's election, or
"carrying on the government in the future as we
have carried it on in the past" '^ means but one
thing! — ^that the Great American Republic has dis
appeared as a factor in civilization. And thoughtful
Americans will have to console themselves with
Horace's line:
Parturiunt montes, nascetur ridiculus mus."*
DiPLOMATICUS.
Dinard, October i8th.
'* O conditionem miseram, nou modo administrandEe, verum
etiam conservandffi rei publicae. — Cicero, In Catalinam, II, 14.
O hard condition! twin born with greatness! — Henry V.,
IV, I.
^''Ars Poetica, 139.

39

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
Refused by the Herald.
Could you not get some psychologist of mark to
give to the world a final estimate of Mr. Roosevelt?
The Herald pronounces him a "Dictator." Le
Temps has called him "Un Homme." The London
Times, speaking of his "intellectual activity," dubs
him the "Admirable Crichton" of American history.
The Morning Post, referring to the "assault on the
Treasury," intimates that he is a "safe-cracksman."
Mr. James Bryce says he is "the greatest President
since Washington." But an ex-Senator, who be
lieves that every cloud has a "silver" lining, and
whose divorced wife, through female influence, made
him lose a foreign mission, declares that the gray
mare is the better horse. "What kind of a bug is
that, sir," asked some students, who had taken
a pin and arranged it with sealing-wax and feathers.
"That, young men," said the knowing old professor,
"that is a humbug." HiSTORICUS.
October.

RepubUcanism Is Only Incipient Imperialism.
Mr. Editor:
As Prof. Goldwin Smith, in the Atlantic Monthly,
proves that in thirty years the United States will be
40

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
an Empire, why not avail of the proposed "Royal"
marriage and make it one now ? History shows that
a Republic is impossible. Intellect did not preserve
that of Greece, nor force of character that of Rome ;
and as President Roosevelt possesses every known
Americanism, why not adopt a system of gradation,
and, before he becomes a Charlemagne, imitate Na
poleon and make him a Consul or Ruler for life.
This would please. All Americans are aristocrats
at heart. There isn't an American alive whose blood
doesn't boil in his veins when he finds himself de
scribed in a Paris lease as a "Bourgeois." ^^
A Sociologist.
Paris, December i6th.

Mr. Chase Discovers the Taint of Adulation in the
Enthusiasm of Mr. Wagner.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — At a time when conscientious Americans are
striving to dam the current of what Mr. Andrew D.
White, late United States Ambassador to Germany,
calls "high crimes that place the United States, alone
of all the nations only a little above the level of Sic
ily," it is puerile to accept chance and misleading
" Quanquam ridentem dicere verum quid vetat ? — Horace,
Sat. IX, 24-5. 41

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
opinions, such as those expressed by Mr. Wagner,
author of "The Simple Life," in regard to a country
where his short stay resembled the peregrinations of
an itinerant preacher.
And Mr. Wagner's recent eulogium, in your col
umns, of President Roosevelt, appears, according to
the Temps, to be a species of return for President
Roosevelt's official recognition of Mr. Wagner's lu
cubrations. "La pire des betes est le tyran parmi
les animaux sauvages, et parmi les animaux domes-
tiques, c'est le flatteur." Leslie Chase.
Paris, December 26th.

No FriUs.

To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — A recent letter in the Herald gave the old
saw — "that flattery is the food of fools" ^' — ^but why
are Americans getting only French "orders ?" Why
not some English ones like K.C.B., D.S.O., V.C,
etc. ? As many of the leading officials of the United
States State Department have risen from the "Camp
Meeting," "centres of propagation," according to a
well-known authority, "of a primitive faith," per
haps "The Garter" would be thought indecent. Yet
Americans claim they "look at things with the naked
" Swift, Cadenus and Vanessa, 769.
42

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
eye," and this, without shocking the modesty of the
"pupil." There were no "decorations" in old Roman
times. On the contrary. For Tacitus says of Ti
berius : In dedecora prorupit.^^ "A Sociologist."
Paris, January 4th.

Pertinent Questions to Writers on American
Govemment.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — ^As the United States is a definitely organ
ized government, framed to carry out a recognized
policy of law and order, what do you suppose the
Mormng Post means by saying that "President
Roosevelt is tremendously hampered by constitu
tional limitations"?
Is it the "silly season" for the English press ? Is
it the old conundrum : Does the dog wag the tail or
the tail the dog? Or does the Post think that Ameri
can polity is striving to reduce to a single mouth
piece Goethe's assertion: There are few voices but
many echoes! "An American."
Paris, January 17th. " Annales, VI, 51-

43

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
Miscegenation the Only Way to Solve the Ques
tion — ^from a Negro Point of View.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — An attentive reader of your paper, I must
break through a self-imposed silence and express
surprise that the Herald, with its great traditions
and still greater influence, so studiously ignores the
only possible solution of the race problem in Amer
ica, a solution ably set forth in the London Morn
ing Post of October i8th, viz., intermarriage be
tween the blacks and whites. The two greatest
moral forces to-day in the United States — President
Roosevelt and the New York Evening Post — are
practically fighting single-handed to carry out this
logical conclusion; and had we possessed a states
man of Mr. Chamberlain's fertility of resource and
mobility of principle the question would now be un
fait accompli. For — Booker Washington apart —
every canon of sociology and the fundamental rule
of Equality before the Law show plainly that there
cannot be a perfect rounding out of the work begun
by the Civil War of 1861-65, save by a wise, abso
lute, and harmonious policy of indiscriminate mis
cegenation. "A Louisiana Negro."
Paris.
Not for publication. Whew !
44

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
"Un Echappg de Charenton."
To the Editor of the Herald:
Your "Louisiana Negro" must be "un echappe
de Charenton." President Roosevelt has probably
no intention of proposing a marital mixture of the
black and white races. Besides, it is said he will be
busy for the present settling the divorce question
and trying to make Wall Street honest. However,
if the fair sex in the United States are like their
countrywomen in Paris — exquisite in grace and ra
diant with charm — President Roosevelt will never
succeed in compelling them to marry negroes.
"Un Francais."
Paris, November 2Sth.

Refused by the Herald.
Sir, — ^According to the Herald and the Temps
Mr. James H. Hyde, of New York City, has brought
Mr. Barrett Wendell to Paris and has persuaded
Mme. Rejane to perform, in New York, certain
after-dinner gyrations much criticized by the Amer
ican press. The roles of Mr. Wendell and of Mme.
Rejane are, of course, different, but one need not
forget what Horace says: Fortuna non mutat
genus.'* And in view of Mr. Wendell's eulogistic
»» Epodes, Car. IV, 6.
45

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
"etude sur M. Roosevelt," in the Revue politique et
parlementaire, it may be permitted to observe that
a book will soon be published in New York that will
present Mr. Roosevelt to the American public, as he
has already been presented to Europe — through let
ters in the Paris Herald — in all the different phases
of his individual and political development. Leslie Chase.
Paris, February 15, 1905.

Refused by the Herald.
Dear Herald:
I'm all mixed up. The Morning Post says that
"Mr. McKinley was little more than the tool and
mouthpiece of a clique." Yet Mr. Rooseveh, in Sep
tember, 1901, promised to carry out Mr. McKin
ley's policy, which promise holds good until March
4th proximo. And now the Post calls "Mr. Roose
velt's policy public spirited and righteous." Is the
Post, in its struggle for lucidity, intended for men
or young misses? But well does the Herald com
pare Teddy's conduct towards the Senate with
Caesar's :
Have I in conquest stretched mine arm so far
To be afeard to tell greybeards the truth? "
*» JuUus Caesar, Act II, Sc. a.
46

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
O George IIL, Americans owe you an apology !
Come back, you honest old lunatic ; but please don't
repeat, as to Mr. Roosevelt, what you said of Marie
Corelli's protege: "Sad stuff.""
Paris, 1903. An ex-Gambler.
From the Herald.
President Roosevelt Goes Louis XTV. One Better.
Louis XIV. : "I am the State." **
President Roosevelt: "That's nothing. I'm the
entire United States."

Refused by the Herald.
President Roosevelt and Margaret Fuller.
Margaret Fuller : "I accept the Universe." *'
President Roosevelt: "Thanks, Miss, for the
compliment, but I'm already married."

Refused by the Herald.
Sir, — "Americus," writing from St. Petersburg,
shows by his advocacy of President Roosevelt's
methods that he himself is saturated with bureau-
" Shakespeare — vide Boswell's Life of Johnson.
" French Judge to a fiile: " Quel est votre Aaf "
La fiile: "L'etat, c'est moi."
"Carlyle said: "By Gad, she'd better."
47

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
cratic ideas. As Russia is trying to create a Senate
and the United States is trying to get rid of one,
"Americus" might consolidate the two countries,
with Mr. Roosevelt as Autocrat and the Tsar as his
aide-de-camp. Peregrinus.
Paris, 1905. President and the Trusts.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The third annual report of the United States Steel
Corporation exposes most thoroughly President
Roosevelt's untenable position in regard to the trusts.
If President Roosevelt attacked the trusts on the
score of monopoly, the Steel Trust's report shows
that the operation of the natural law of economic
conditions is proceeding, notwithstanding President
Roosevelt's interference. If President Roosevelt at
tacked the trusts on the score of high prices, why,
he stands to-day before the world as the choice and
outcome of protection — ^the ultima ratio of mainte
nance of price.
And the stage may now be said to contribute to
the fame of President Roosevelt — the Macbeth of
American history — Wouldst not play false, and yet
wouldst wrongly win.** Leslie Chase.
New York City, March 25, 1905.
" Macbeth, Act I, Sc. 5.
48

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
Refused by the Herald.
To the Editor of the Herald:
In view of Governor Pennypacker's recent public
eulogy of Matthew Stanley Quay, Pennsylvania
should take as its State motto: Sine Quay Non.
And now that — ^to use Madame de Sevigne's words
— "cette trompette de jugement" has orated, the
world can appreciate the force of what Mrs. Eddy,
in her "Shakespeare Improved," justly says :
Men's evil manners we write in water.
Their virtues live in brass,*^
or, as Horace wrote, ses triplex *^^ — ^triple brass.
As the Quay school of thought scorns conceal
ment, it is more than probable that if the funeral of
Mr. Ananias were to take place to-day, Pennsylvania
would cover the poor man's hearse with showers of
dandelions. Carlyle described Frederick the Great and Vol
taire as "duplex stella." Pennsylvania gave Mr.
Roosevelt a majority of over 500,000 in 1904. And
in the history of Pennsylvania the names of Quay *"
« Henry VIIL, Act III, Sc. 2.
«' Odes, I, III, 9.
*' It is interesting to recall what the London Tinies said some
years ago: The friends of honest govemment throughout the
world win mourn the success of Mr. Quay in the Pennsylvania
election.
49

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
and Roosevelt will be indissolubly linked. And
Pennsylvania is true to Evolution. For, speaking
of 1799, Theodore Roosevelt — Life of Gouverneur
Morris, page 281 — says : Pennsylvanian politics were
already very low. Leslie Chase.
New York City, March 30th.

Confidential.
To the Editor of the Herald:
I have your letter of the 31st March, in which,
speaking of my comments on Govemor Pennypack
er's eulogy of Quay, you say : The Herald is always
glad to print letters, but we do not think it is proper
to print letters attacking dead men.
The Herald evidently thinks that the living have
no rights a dead man is bound to respect.
The Herald also, misled by a bad example, has
assumed the role of a "respecter of persons," " but
does not state if it is regard for the memory of Mr.
Ananias or of Mr. Quay that prevents publication.
Your refusal to print my letter of March 30th
proves that it is useless for me any longer to try to
avail of the Herald's publicity in my efforts to fol
low a course which you yourself have characterized
as one of "sincerity and high purpose." For the
" Acts, X, 34.
SO

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
columns of your Paris edition, for seven years back,
will show that I have unflaggingly pursued Mr.
Roosevelt for reasons since acknowledged as just
and necessary by the great "dailies" of New York
City, the Tribune alone excepted.*^ I have spent no
inconsiderable part of a very modest fortune in the
attempt to give a sustained effect to my attacks by
publishing them in book form, with the result that
the MSS. has been in the hands of the New York
City police; and my book, menaced with seizure in
Germany, is now boycotted by London and New
York booksellers. I have been threatened with per
sonal violence in your paper, and the New York Sun
has honored me with its abuse. It savors of political
and intellectual cowardice that all this should have
been left to an individual to do, and that it should
not have been undertaken by the American press,
whose welfare is bound up with the true interests of
the American people. Perhaps all I have accom
plished is the knowledge that it is not the fellow that
dirties the nest that is vilified, but the man who
tries to clean it out. Although, with a tenacity born
of conviction, I was one of the earliest to point out
Mr. Roosevelt as the incarnation of hypocrisy, yet
*' Mr. Whitelaw Reid has since been appointed Ambassador
to Great Britain. "O slave of no more trust than love that's
hired!" — Antony and Cleopatra, Act V, Sc. ;:.
51

MR. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
now I feel certain history will decide that in his
political career Mr. Roosevelt has followed the same
lines that, according to Tacitus, marked the personal
conduct of Tiberius : Egregium vita f amaque, quoad
privatus fuit : postremo in dedecora prorupit, post
quam, remoto pudore et metu, suo tantum ingenio
utebatur.*' Leslie Chase.
New York, April 2, 1905. " Annales VI, 51.

52

PRESIDENT WM. McKINLEY.

In Defence of Mr. McKinley.
To the Editor of the Herald:
At a time when Mr. McKinley and Mr. Alger are
so severely attacked common justice demands atten
tion to the following facts :
Last February, when war was being urged, the
United States had only 112,000 muskets with which
to arm new levies. These muskets were of the anti
quated Springfield pattern, adapted to "black" pow
der. There was just ammunition enough for a
"three hours' continuous fire" on the part of our
men of war. And not one of these, even, that had or
could have more than half its complement of men.
In fact, a military organization did not exist.
Then it is well known in diplomatic circles that of
seven demands made by the United States, Spain at
once conceded six,*'* and as to the seventh, which
"* From the London Times, February 12, 1902 :
It is true that a meeting of the representatives of the six Euro
pean Powers was held at the British Embassy on the aftemoon of
53

PRESIDENT WM. McKINLEY
regarded the retirement of the Spanish army from
Cuba, that the Queen Regent gave her personal
word that, if allowed sixty days, her troops should
all be withdrawn from the island.
Such, however, was the overwhelming cry for
war in the United States that clergymen were hissed
who prayed for peace. A distinguished man. Pro
fessor Norton, who opposed the war, was denounced
as a traitor and menaced with the horsewhip, and
President McKinley himself threatened by Senators
with impeachment for withholding from one Thurs
day to the following Monday a message which fore
shadowed war, although General Lee insisted that
the delay was necessary in order to protect Ameri
can lives in Cuba.
Naturally, therefore, Mr. McKinley and Mr. Al-
April 14 (1898). What gave rise to this fresh effort was the receipt
ot a Spanish memorandum to the American Govemment conced
ing every claim of the American Govemment respecting Cuba
save one, and therefore, in theory, profoundly modifying the situa
tion. From the Evening Post, February 13, 1902 :
Every Ambassador at Washington knew of Senor Bemabe's
frank and conciliatory note. Not a member of that Congress with
which the issues of peace and war then rested had been informed
of its full significance. Mr. McKinley in the White House knew
from General Woodford's dispatches, which he never communi
cated, that the basis for a fair adjustment existed; the State De
partment also knew it. Not another citizen of the United States
knew what ought to have been proclaimed from the housetops —
that Spain had yielded at nearly every point.
54

PRESIDENT WM. McKINLEY
ger had the right to conclude that war must come
regardless of conditions and consequences, and they
are not to be blamed or even criticized for not doing
the impossible at the period when, if ever, "ssevitque
animis ignobile vulgus." *
Bitter Anti-Republican.
Dinard, September 17, 1898.

NATION RESPONSIBLE.

American People to Blame for Much That Has
Happened.
To the Editor of the Herald:
While all must agree with the laudable and well-
expressed horror of the Herald over the miseries
inflicted upon our troops in the Cuban campaign,
yet the fact cannot be ignored that, as govemment is
the weapon of common action, it is not the Execu
tive but the nation itself which is responsible for
results that are the logical outcome of the conditions
under which the war was undertaken ; which condi
tions, not to cast a doubt upon the intelligence of the
citizens of the United States, must have been known
to them all. War is growth, a fungus perhaps, but
nevertheless growth and not creation.
'"iEneid, I, 49.
55

PRESIDENT WM. McKINLEY
It has taken twelve years to reach Khartoum, and
it is as easy to build an ironclad by whistling as it
is to establish a military organization, with its com
missariat, transport service, and medical depart
ment, by simply deciding to pay out several millions.
Therefore, despite the leader in to-day's Herald,
it was not the individual but "the chief servant of
the State" ^^ who was forced to obey the voice of
the people, in this case "trumpet-tongued." °* And
it is the people alone that history will condemn with
the censure, "We call a nettle but a nettle; and
The faults of fools, but folly." "
Bitter Anti-Republican.
Dinard, September 23, 1898.

NOT MR. McKINLEY'S FAULT.

American Ignorance of Sanitation at the Bottom
of the Miseries of the War.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald's persistence in striving to fasten
upon President McKinley a personal responsibility
for unnecessary miseries in the late war is equiva-
" Frederick the Great. " Macbeth, Act I, Sc. 2.
" Coriolanus, Act II, Sc. i.
56

PRESIDENT WM. McKINLEY
lent to blaming a pilot when in a storm for not
remedying the structural defects of the ship he
commands. What, for instance, could have been expected
from an improvised army — little more than a chaotic
mass — in the matter of sanitary measures, when it
is realized that the term conveys no meaning what
ever to the American mind at large ?
There are hundreds, almost thousands, of cities in
the Union where, to show that the ethereal has not
been neglected, there are in each from fifteen to
twenty churches, but where there is not one yard of
sewer pipe.
One can be sure that ignorance, like Puritanism,
"will gradually disappear from the district where
the drainage is improved" ; but to assert that a
people abounding in energy and industry, yet lack
ing in experience and self-restraint, can suddenly
transform itself into an army — the most complex
of creations — is to claim to reverse the processes of
nature. Water cannot rise above its level, and, "Mr. Sec
retary, the Tombigbee River" still "runs down and
not up." Bitter Anti-Republican.
Dinard, October i, 1898.

57

PRESIDENT WM. McKINLEY
The Land of the Free.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Postmaster-General, whose last speech was
a series of fulsome utterances in reference to Mr.
McKinley, has now closed the Manila mail to certain
documents which criticise the President's policy.
A great authority once declared that the system
in the United States was a "government of the peo
ple, by the people, for the people," ^* but it is now
evident that the "land of the free" has become, to
use Katkoff's words, "un cadavre en decomposi
tion." Critic.
May s, 1899.

Sultan of America.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — Postmaster-General Smith's decision to ex
clude from the Manila mail pamphlets criticising the
President's policy is only equalled by the action of a
Sultan of Turkey, who, on receiving a letter he did
not like, gave an order to abolish all the post-offices.
A Naturalized Patagonian.
Paris, May 6, 1899.
" Le public ne se trompe gufere. — Mme. de Sdvignfi, Lettre
19 juillet, 1675.
58

PRESIDENT WM. McKINLEY
To the Editor of the Herald:
Whatever may be said of Mr. Croker's political
methods, there can be no doubt as to his sagacity in
opposing a policy which has plunged the country
into an interminable war, and loaded the people with
taxes, in order to reelect Mr. McKinley in 1900.
Mr. Roosevelt was made govemor because of the
Santiago campaign. . . . But the time has come
for the nation to ignore successful speculators and
vituperative politicians, and show the world that, in
the United States at least, it is no longer possible to
"wade through slaughter to a throne." ^°
Paris, August IS, 1899. An IRISHMAN.

Dies or Is An Idiot.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Republicans who credit "McKinleyism" with a
prosperity that was due to the fact of a short crop of
wheat in Europe and a superabundant one in the
United States must have had typhoid fever, "which,"
remarked the genial but blundering Marechal Mc
Mahon to a friend ill with it, "is a most dangerous
disease. For," said he, "I have had it myself, and
one either dies of it or is left an idiot."
Paris, July 3, 1900. A JEFFERSONIAN.
°' Gray's Elegy, Stanza 17
59

PRESIDENT WM. McKINLEY
McKinley the Chinaman.
To the Editor of the Herald:
John M. Tobin, at first a ticket collector at the
Staten Island ferry, was, after he had become a suc
cessful Wall Street speculator, frequently requested
by the reporters of the day to communicate his views
as to architecture, theology, etc. And now the Her
ald is getting up interviews on bimetallism with Mr.
James R. Keene!
But if all valuable opinions are to be put on
record, why not quote the French editor who re
cently said that "the Americans had shown an intel
ligent disregard of their Constitution in electing as
President a naturalized citizen, one McKinley, bom
in Canton, China?"
A Bull on American Securities.
Paris, July 27, 1900.
How It Looks to a Foreign Observer.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — Your leader in the Evening Post of April
4th, which deals with Mr. McKinley's methods, is in
line with three articles that in 1898 appeared in
the London Times from its correspondent in Spain,
and which revealed the sinuous course of the United
States at the beginning of the Spanish war. As
60

PRESIDENT WM. McKINLEY
there are a few Americans deluded enough to be
lieve that common honesty is still the guiding prin
ciple of American politics, a detailed reference to
these articles may be spared, but, in support of the
Evening Post's criticisms, it may be well to repeat
the scarcely veiled estimate of Mr. McKinley as
given in the final article, namely, that nature had
intended him for a horse-trader, that chance had
made him a politician, and that the future alone
would show if he possessed anything of the states
man. The condition of the Philippines and of Porto
Rico answers the unsettled question, and adds force
to the dictum of Junius, that it is the historian's
office to punish, though he cannot correct.^"
France, April i6, 1900. OBSERVER.

An Addition to Dean Swift's List.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — Dean Swift wrote : "As universal a practice
as lying is, and as easy a one as it seems, I do not
remember to have heard three good lies in all my
conversation, even from those who were most cele
brated in that faculty."
"Junius, Letter XII.
Quod praecipuum munus annalium reor, ne virtutes sileantur,
utque pravis dictis factisque ex posteritate et infamia metus sit
— Tacitus, Ann. Ill, 65. 61

PRESIDENT WM. McKINLEY
Had the discriminating Dean been able to contrast
Mr. McKinley's words last December, "It is our
plain duty to abolish all customs tariffs between the
United States and Porto Rico," with the same Presi
dent's admitted action in forcing through Congress
later on a Porto Rican tariff bill, he could have
added to his small list a number three, which, for
audacity and cold-bloodedness, should easily have
surpassed the other two. And he might have sug
gested, as number four, the following motto for use
by the Republicans in their coming political cam
paign : "Nil super imperio moveor."^^
Paris, 1900. Observer.
Mr. McKinley's Vacillating Policy.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The leader in to-day's Herald recalls the fact that
when Mr. McKinley allowed it to be intimated —
what, it seems, never happened — ^that Spain had
asked for the recall of a United States Consul-Gen
eral, Congress, in order to pander to popular fury,
immediately placed fifty millions at his disposal, and
even the respectable Mr. Reed descended to the
"floor" to take part in what was probably the most
flagrant act of pusillanimity ever performed by a
legislative body. "iEneid, X, 42.
62

PRESIDENT WM. McKINLEY
Now that China attacks the American Minister,
virtually imprisons him, and kills American marines
engaged in defending him, Mr. McKinley, in obe
dience to electioneering motives, calmly accepts the
fact. The only possible criticism of his policy is that
conveyed in the speech of the English alderman,
who astonished an after-dinner company by inform
ing them that he was like Caesar's wife — all things
to all men. A German.
Paris, September 27, 1900.

A German Idea of Things in General.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald evidently gets its ideas of Anglo-
Saxon unity from the Times, whose columns are
now full of "engineered" affection for the "Ameri
can Cousin."
But Black and White thus reflects British senti
ment: "How ridiculous the spread-eagle imperial
ism of Mr. McKinley has proved to be in actual
practice. No governing race in the history of the
world has made itself so detestable to the Cuban and
the Filipino as the American, and no third-class
power so impotent to back its pretensions."
The pitiable result of your Spanish war would
63

PRESIDENT WM. McKINLEY
prevent any self-respecting government from adopt
ing a policy identical with your own.
You comment so freely upon the rulers of other
nations that one can reply that your own men in
power are neither statesmen nor pirates, for they
went into a war where there was nothing to accom
plish except substituting one system of misgovern
ment for another, and they made a conquest where
there was not enough to seize to tempt even Eng
land. Your not over-modest assertions of your national
prowess would lead the historian to apply to your
country Bismarck's description of Lord Salisbury:
"A lath of wood painted to look like iron."
Another German.
Paris, September 29, 1900.

Sent to the " Evening Post."
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Time has passed and brought no explanation of
President Schurman's telegram to Mr. McKinley:
"Go up higher."
A similar obscurity of expression occurred where
a physician informed an agonized husband that his
wife was so ill that there was nothing to do but to
send her to a warmer place. The poor man, in tears,
64

PRESIDENT WM. McKINLEY
rushed from the roo.m, but immediately returned
with a huge carving-knife, saying, "Here, doctor,
you do it, I couldn't." Observer.
Paris, March, 1901. From the "Herald."
Extract from Mr. McKinley's "Inaugural Ad
dress," March 4, 1901 :
"The President . . . proceeded to speak of his
fraitless efforts to avert the war with Spain." ^^

Criticises Mr. McKinley.
To the Editor of the Herald:
So Mr. McKinley could "not avert the war with
Spain." One must go to fable to find a similar case
of such deplorable impotency.
A lion, who had been ill, asked a sheep if his
breath was bad. The sheep said, Yes, and the lion
bit off her head for a fool. A wolf, asked the same
thing, replied. No. Him the lion killed for being a
''From the London Times, February 17, r902:
The Evening Post says: General Woodford's "hopeful, ap
pealing despatch to the President" was suppressed for three
years. Not till it was finally allowed to see the light was it pos
sible to appreciate the situation in April, 1898, on the eve of the
war.
65

PRESIDENT WM. McKINLEY
liar. A fox, in answer to the question, said, He had
a cold in his head and could not smell.'®
Such a Presidential statement is only possible in
a land of "twenty-seven miUions of Church mem-
bers,"*" and is proof that Ananias and Sapphira
have, as Gladstone said of Jeff Davis, "founded a
nation." X.
Paris, March 7, i9or.

Refused by the Evening Post.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — Now that the Spanish war is entering into
the domain of history, and the chapter of what may
be called national suicide is about to close, it would
be well to consider the establishment of some great
object which should commemorate an event so mo
mentous in the career of a people.
It is natural to think first of some imposing
expression of public sentiment like the well-known
Germania on the banks of the Rhine. This, how
ever, would not do. For had we a tower as heaven-
reaching as that of Babel we could not adom it with
the figure of the Anglo-Saxon holding high his
honor, since some Sir Oracle,*^ such as Goldwin
'» The Table Talk of John Selden.
" Vide 'World Almanac.
" Merchant of Venice, Act I, Sc i.
66

PRESIDENT WM. McKINLEY
Smith, would trumpet forth that "the United States
have beaten a cripple and England has beaten a
child," and dispel the illusion.
Mercy and Truth would also be out of place.
For although the United States by means of false
promises accomplished the unwilling cession of the
Philippines, and although the Missionary Congress
in New York City resolved "to provide for the spir
itual welfare of those 12,000,000 of heathen who in
the Providence of God have been thrust upon the
care of Christian America," still an armed force
has not yet succeeded in dotting the islands all over
with Sunday-schools, and the "Providence of God"
is only another name for a twenty-milUon-dollar
check. But nil desperandum de republica, and the Amer
icans are a practical people.
It is in order, therefore, for Postmaster-General
Smith, prone to adulation, and for Mr. Secretary
Long, given to paUiation, to head a subscription for
the purpose of erecting, after the manner of the
Eastern despot, a pyramid of Filipino skulls, upon
whose apex might be placed the statue of the man
they venerate and serve.
There it would remain immutable through the
ages, for ambition itself would scorn such emi
nence. 67

PRESIDENT WM. McKINLEY
And the grinning evidences of his misrule would
perpetuate with all the majesty of silence the promi
nence '^ of one who "in order to be famous was weU
content to be infamous."'* Observer.
Pine Hill, August 20, 1901.
"^ Ipse neque jubendi neque vetandi potens, non jam imperator
sed tantum belli causa erat. — ^Tacitus, Hist. Ill, 70.
" Don Quixote.

68

THE SPANISH WAR.

The following article from the Figaro of April
23, 1898, is given in full, as it bears internal evi
dence of being Mr. McKinley's personal explanation
to Europe — ^through the United States Embassy at
Paris — of the causes that led to the Spanish War :
L'Opinion d'un Am€ricain.

Dans le conftit si profondement regrettable qui
vient de surgir entre I'Espagne et les Etats-Unis,
nos sympathies ont toujours ete et resteront tou
jours pour I'Espagne, ce valeureux et malheureux
pays qui a pour lui le droit positif; qui, en outre,
n'est pas I'agresseur, et auquel nous rattachent,
comme d. toutes les races latines, tant de commu-
nautes d'idees, de souvenirs et de sentiments. Mais
nous ne saurions contester que les Etats-Unis for-
ment un grand peuple qui a prouve maintes
fois a la France ses sympathies; aussi considerons-
nous comme un devoir envers nos lecteurs de don
ner aujourd'hui la parole d I'un de leurs hommes
69

THE SPANISH WAR
d'Etat les plus considerables, qui demande a ex
pliquer, ici, I'attitude de ses concitoyens devant le
public frangais.
La guerre avec I'Espagne est malheureusement
devenue inevitable et, il faut I'avouer, on accuse
generalement en Europe les Etats-Unis de I'avoir
provoquee dans un but egoiste. Meme en France,
les sympathies vont a I'Espagne. II faut croire
que nous ne possedons pas I'art de nous rendre
sympathiques ni d'embellir nos actes ; nous sommes,
dit-on souvent, un peuple trop positif. Je vous
suis done, monsieur le Directeur, fort reconnaissant
de me permettre de profiter de la tres grande pub-
licite du Figaro pour essayer de retablir la verite.
Audiatur et altera pars. Je vais essayer, en faisant
un recit sobre et exact des evenements, de demon-
trer comment la fiere et illustre nation espagnole
est arrivee par sa mauvaise direction des affaires de
Cuba a creer une situation intolerable pour les
Etats-Unis. On peut dire que, depuis trente ans, la situation
de Cuba est absolument anormale. En 1868, la
premiere grande insurrection eclata et dura pendant
dix ans avant que I'Espagne put la reprimer. La
guerre civile, a cette epoque, ne fut pas conduite
aussi cruellement que maintenant et la repression
70

THE SPANISH WAR
ne fut pas aussi severe. Cependant un assez grand
nombre d'individus, parmi lesquels des sujets ameri-
cains, furent passes par les armes sous pretexte de
filibusterie. Le gouvernement des Etats-Unis, que
presidait alors le general Grant, n'intervint en au-
cune faqon dans cette longue guerre, qui cependant
lesait considerablement les interets commerciaux de
ses nationaux.
Apres cette premiere insurrection, il y eut a Cuba
plusieurs soulevements de moindre importance.
Les Cubains ne supportaient que tres difficilement la
domination de I'Espagne. Cette derniere les acca-
blait d'impots et confiat I'administration de I'ile a des
fonctionnaires espagnols qui ne connaissaient pas le
pays et I'administraient tres mal. Les Cubains
etaient exclus de tout emploi dans leur pays et
prives de leurs droits politiques. II n'est done pas
etonnant que leur exasperation ait fini par amener la
revolte generale de 1895.
La guerre civile eclata; elle a ete faite des deux
cotes avec un acharnement et une cruaute sans exem-
ple jusqu'ici; elle dure depuis trois ans et rien ne
fait prevoir le moment ou elle prendra fin. L'Es-
pagne a envoye a Cuba 200,000 hommes parfaite-
ment armes, ainsi que ses meilleurs officiers. Les
insurges, de leur cote, n'ont jamais reussi a opposer
a cette armee formidable plus de 27,000 combattants
71

THE SPANISH WAR
depourvus de cavalerie et de canons a tir rapide.
Cependant iis luttent toujours et les Espagnols n'ar-
rivent pas a pacifier I'ile. N'est-ce pas etrange ? Ce
fait incomprehensible ne permet-il pas toutes sortes
de suppositions, celle, entre autres, que le gouverne
ment de Madrid n'avait pas entierement dans ses
mains le controle de la fagon dont a ete conduite
cette guerre qui a ruine les finances espagnoles?
On se plait a dire en Europe que la duree de I'in
surrection est due en grande partie a I'appui que les
insurges ont trouve aux Etats-Unis. Je vais m' ex
pliquer aussi franchement et aussi nettement que
possible sur ce point capital.
II est certain que nous sympathisons avec les Cu
bains, que nous admirons leur courage et que nous
compatissons a leurs souffrances. Nous avons de
tout temps fait avec Cuba un commerce considera
ble et les capitaux americains sont largement em
ployes dans I'ile. Les Cubains ont toujours entre-
tenu avec nous de tres amicales relations et
beaucoup d'entre eux sont venus passer chez nous
une partie de I'annee, Cuba n'etant separee des
Etats-Unis que par une petite distance.
Un nombre considerable de Cubains se sont raaries
chez nous et ont obtenu la naturalisation americaine.
Toutes ces circonstanccs devaient naturellement
creer un courant de sympathie entre les deux peu-
72

THE SPANISH WAR
pies. II n'est done pas surprenant que les souf
frances des Cubains aient cause une penible impres
sion aux Etats-Unis et qu'on y souhaite vivement la
fin de la triste situation qui desole Cuba. Cependant
le gouvernement de Washington n'a jamais cesse
de remplir ses devoirs intemationaux vis-a-vis de
I'Espagne. II n'a rien a se reprocher a ce sujet.
II existe entre les Etats-Unis et I'Espagne un
traite d'apres lequel nous sommes tenus d'arreter les
expeditions de Ulibustiers armes se rendant au se-
cours des insurges cubains. Notre gouvernement
est alle plus loin encore; il a arrete des navires a
bord desquels nos croiseurs ont trouve des hommes
sans armes mais qui, evidemment, tentaient de se
rendre a Cuba; il a fait saisir des navires qui con-
tenaient des munitions et des armes et qui etaient
supposes avoir la meme destination. Cette surveil
lance de notre cote, longue de 2,000 milles, nous a
ete tres onereuse; nous avons cependant reussi a
arreter toutes les expeditions filibustieres parties des
Etats-Unis, sauf trois ou quatre de peu d'importance
qui ont reussi a tromper notre surveillance et a
debarquer a Cuba. Pourquoi, du reste, les Espa
gnols, qui ont de nombreux navires dans les eaux
cubaines, n'ont-ils pas empeche eux-memes les fili-
bustiers de debarquer?
En dehors de la surveillance des cotes, qui nous a
7Z

THE SPANISH WAR
eoute au moins cinq millions de francs par an, nous
avons eu a payer les frais des quarantaines qu'il nous
a fallu etabUr le long de nos cotes afin de prevenir
I'importation aux Etats-Unis des maladies qui sevis-
sent a Cuba depuis que le gouvernement espagnol
a donne I'ordre de masser dans les villes de I'lle les
reconcentrados, dans le but d'empecher les insurges
de se recruter parmi eux. De cette fagon a ete creee
une promiscuite epouvantable entre des hommes,
des femmes et des enfants affames, presque nus, et
des soldats espagnols, ce qui a provoque d'affreuses
maladies. La malheureuse population cubaine, na-
guere composee de 1,700,000 ames, s'est vue dimi-
nuer, en peu de temps, d'un quart par I'emigration,
la guerre et les maladies. II a fallu, a tout prix, em
pecher les maladies contagieuses de penetrer dans le
continent americain, et voila pourquoi, entre la Flo-
ride et le Texas, nous devons entretenir, le long de
nos cotes, des quarantaines tres onereuses. Nous
, avons, en outre, a plusieurs reprises, envoye des
secours en argent et en nature a Cuba. C'est
ainsi que 100,000 dollars ont ete envoy es d'un
seul coup par notre gouvernement et distribues aux
infortunes Cubains par nos consuls. Cependant la
misere persiste et augmente constamment.
Joignez a cela les pertes tres considerables subies
par mes compatriotes par suite de I'aneantissement
74

THE SPANISH WAR
de leur commerce et la ruine de leurs proprietes a
Cuba, et vous comprendez que le desir soit unanime
aux Etats-Unis de voir se terminer une guerre civile
si desastreuse.Cependant, a ce desir ne s'ajoute aucune velleite
de conquete ou d'annexion, du moins chez la grande
majorite des sujets des Etats-Unis. Je pretends
hardiment qu'il n'y a pas 15^ de ceux-ci qui souhai-
tent I'annexion de Cuba. Vous avez vu que le Con-
gres de Washington, la plus haute autorite politique
de notre pays, vient de voter une resolution d'apres
laquelle les Etats-Unis repoussent toute intention
d'annexer Cuba et affirment leur determination,
lorsque la pacification sera accomplie, de laisser le
gouvernement et le controle de I'ile a son peuple.
C'est cette pacification que nous voulons. II faut
que la guerre qui depuis des annees se fait a nos
portes cesse, comme I'a dit M. McKinley. C'est
pour nous une question d'humanite, et aussi de tran-
quillite. Est-ce qu'en Europe une grande puissance
aurait supporte si longtemps dans son voisinage une
conflagration et un foyer de troubles, mettant les
populations dans un etat de surexcitation constante,
prejudiciable au commerce, nuisible a d'autres in
terets encore?
J'ose dire que non.
II est possible que les Etats-Unis n'auraient pas
75

THE SPANISH WAR
ete conduits a cette extremite et qu'ils auraient pu
s'entendre avec I'Espagne sur sa maniere de mettre
fin a I'intolerable situation a Cuba, si deux faits ne
s'etaient produits ces derniers temps qui ont mis le
comble a I'exasperation de mes compatriotes. Je
parlerai d'abord de la malencontreuse lettre, inter-
ceptee a Cuba, de M. Dupuy de Lome, ministre
d'Espagne a Washington, adressee a un de ses amis
et dans laquelle ce diplomate appclait M. McKin
ley notre President, "a common politician," et insi-
nuait tres clairement que I'autonomie offerte par
I'Espagne aux Cubains n'etait pas une mesure se-
rieuse. Ensuite est venue I'affaire de I'explosion du
Maine, envoye en mission amicale °* a La Havane, a
la suite de negoeiations avec le gouvernement de
Madrid, lequel, de son cote, avait decide d'envoyer
un navire de guerre a New-York. Eh bien! le rap
port officiel de nos marins a prouve que c'est une
mine sous-marine qui a cause I'explosion du Maine.
Nous n'accusons pas les autorites espagnoles d'avoir
provoque ce malheur, mais nous avons le droit de
dire que I'Espagne s'est montree incapable de faire
la police dans un port qui lui appartient, et qu'elle
" It is now known that the Maine was sent to Havana in
pure provocation, at the instigation of Mr. Roosevelt. — Vide let
ter John C. Welch, Evening Post, September 5, 1903.
76

THE SPANISH WAR
doit assumer la responsabilite de la mort de plus de
deux cent cinquante marins dont notre pays tout
entier porte le deuil.
M. McKinley n'a demande aucune indemnite a
I'Espagne pour cette catastrophe, pas plus que notre
Congres ne reclamera la possession de I'ile de Cuba
en compensation des sacrifices considerables que la
guerre va nous couter. Pourquoi alors I'Europe
nous juge-t-elle si severement?
Pourquoi ne veut-on pas croire que nous puissions
faire la guerre dans un but humanitaire et dans le
dessein de rendre la tranquillite a notre pays oil la
guerre est, par principe, abhorree et ou I'on ne
cherche que des progres pacifiques ?
Est-ce trop de demander un peu de credit jusqu'a
ce que ceux qui nous condamnent aujourd'hui soient
en etat de nous juger plus equitablement ? Enfin,
les Frangais ont'ils oubUe qu'il y a un siecle iis sont
venus eux-memes au secours de notre nation nais-
sante et que, sans autre mobile que d'assurer notre
liberte et notre independance, iis ont genereusement
verse leur sang et leur or ?
C'est exactement ce que nous voulons faire au
jourd'hui pour les Cubains.
Un Americain.

77

THE SPANISH WAR
To the Figaro of April 29, 1898;
Monsieur — II appartient aux Americains qui re-
flechissent et qui observent de relever certaines in
sinuations repandues par quelques-uns de leurs com
patriotes malintentionnes.
D'apres ces derniers, nous reprochons a I'Es
pagne son incurie dans les affaires d'lme province
eloignee d'elle de cinq mille kilometres, tandis que
cette incurie ne se rapproche en rien de celle qui
existe chez nous, dans notre propre pays. II y a
dans I'Union nombre d'Etats qui sont au pouvoir et
a la merci de politiques sans vergogne, d'autres qui
sont regentes non par des "sans-culottes," mais par
des "sans-chaussettes."
Quant au reproche de barbarie, que nous faisons
a I'Espagne, c'est un joli mot dans la bouche de mes
compatriotes qui ont vu exterminer par I'incurie
pure et simple de notre gouvernement, et vraiment
a petit feu, pres de cinq millions d'Indiens, et qui, en
1886, ont encore vu laisser chasser par les chemi-
neaux cent mille pauvres Chinois abandonnes, sans
grace, a toutes les privations. Ah non! Au
point de vue du progres humanitaire, I'Espagne
cloche, il est vrai, mais nous, nous marchons sans
jambes! Mais on ne sait pas assez comment la guerre est
78

THE SPANISH WAR
devenue inevitable. C'est de I'histoire acquise que
le redacteur d'un journal de la ville de New- York,
voulant augmenter les abonnements, envoya a Cuba,
il y a dix-huit mois, un ecrivain distingue et un
peintre bien connu, pour ecrire et illustrer des arti
cles de journaux, afin d'exciter une certaine curiosite
a propos des faits qui se passaient dans cette iie ; les
quels faits, enormement exageres, etaient d'aiUeurs
logiques dans une insurrection qui avait ete, en
plus, alimentee par les expeditions filibustieres
americaines. Ces articles a sensation parvinrent a creer une
telle fureur de haine envers I'Espagne, qu'elle s'est,
a la longue, repandue partout et a fini par "embal-
ler" les Etats-Unis eux-memes, a un tel point que,
maintenant, dans les eglises et dans les reunions
pretendues religieuses, les pasteurs, les femmes et
les enfants prient Dieu d'envoyer la guerre quand
meme. Vinrent, en outre, les syndicats qui ont achete les
litres et les terrains cubains a vil prix, et dont les
membres ne contribuerent pas mediocrement a en
tretenir I'agitation et a demander la guerre.
Tous les arguments invoques par mes compa
triotes ne feront done pas que cette guerre ne soit in-
fame. Et c'est le cas de se rappeler ce qu'a dit
Frederic le Grand, a propos de la reine Marie-The-
79

THE SPANISH WAR
rese, lors du second partage de la Pologne: "Elle
pleure, et prend toujours." '"
Un citoyen et non pas "sujet"
Dinard, 33 avril, 1898. DES EtATS-Unis.

An Outsider's Opinion.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Having just returned from the States and finding
your columns full of recriminations in regard to the
situation there, a few words from an outsider may
not be amiss.
Von Humboldt long ago claimed that the Cauca
sian race, if left to itself in America, would, in the
course of time, revert to the original physical and
mental conditions of the savage.
The long legs and high cheek-bones of the so-
called "Yankee" bear out one part of his assertion,
but the mental qualities have reappeared sooner
than even he could have imagined; witness the
impending war with Spain, a war without a motive
or a justification,*" and undertaken solely to "feed
" Waliszewski, Le Roman d' Une Imp^ratrice.
" From the London Times, February 13, 1902 :
Dr. von Holleben subsequently sent home the original text
of the draft of the CoUective Note which had been submitted by
the English representative to the others. "The memorandum
of the Spanish Minister delivered on Sunday appears to me and
80

THE SPANISH WAR
fat" "¦' the fires of speculation. But while the
Americans are thus virtually pouncing upon a bed
ridden patient, let them look well to themselves, for
in no other country does there exist such a state of
demoralization as in theirs.
In New York, ruled by Mr. Croker, the "personal
tax" on certain classes of securities is 2.1 per cent.,
or 70 per cent, of the income, and one walks out of
the tax office a pauper or a perjurer.
In Boston, type of a well-ordered American city,
the streets after eleven o'clock in the evening, even
in the heart of the town, are so infested by footpads
that one reaches home with the satirist's prayer on
his lips : Ut liceat paucis cum dentibus inde reverti. "'
As to the South and Southwest, all the world
my coUeagues to remove aU legitimate cause of war. If that
view should be shared by the Great Powers, the time has arrived
to remove the erroneous impression which prevaUs that the armed
intervention of the United States in Cuba commands, in the words
of the Message, the support and approval of the civilized world.
It is suggested by the foreign representatives that this might be
done by a coUective expression from the Great Powers of the hope
that the United States Government wUl give e. favorable considera
tion to the memorandum of the Spanish Minister of the roth inst.
as offering a reasonable basis of amicable solution and removing
any grounds for hostUe intervention which may have previously
existed." " Merchant of Venice, Act I, Sc. i.
"Juvenal, Sat. Ill, 301. 81

THE SPANISH WAR
knows of the killing by burning, in the presence of
5,000 souls, of two innocent redskins. Amiable cere
mony, "conducted with prayer" by a parson.
As to the West, as represented by Chicago, it is
simply Milton's And in the lowest deep, a lower deep. "
To the foreign observer, therefore, there is only
one conclusion, namely : that the United States, as a
nation, has sunk below the level even of a South
American republic. Also, that Europe need not
fear any sustained effort on the part of this people,
composed, as it is, of elements so heterogeneous that
its disintegration is only a question of time.
An Englishman.
Dinard, April, 1898.

To the Editor of the Herald:
The letter of Mr. Bryce in to-day's Herald is evi
dently "inspired," for no one, certainly, can be ig
norant of the fact that the Secretary of the Interior
was called upon to prevent a rising of the Cherokees,
justly angered by the murder of their fellow-tribes
men. *******
In addition to these two States of New York and
Pennsylvania, it is known and admitted that, what
«» Paradise Lost, IV, 76.
82

THE SPANISH WAR
with silver agitation, Sugar Trust, and Cuban bonds,
the American Congress is so steeped in jobbery that
— ^to paraphrase the words of Christopher North '"'
— an honest man would not shake hands with cer
tain Senators and Representatives of the United
States for all the gold their itching palms have
purloined. Mr. Bryce compares the United States to Rome ;
it is to be regretted that, in point of corruption and
dismemberment, the United States should seem to be
beginning where Rome ended.
An Englishman.
Dinard, April, i8g8.

To the Editor of the Herald:
With the disappearance of 500,000 Southerners,
killed in the war of secession, the United States lost
the better part of its Anglo-Saxon element. What
was left was a people of low commercial instinct,
and so entirely given up to "money-grubbing" that
most of the large fortunes that exist to-day in the
United States have been made by means of legisla
tive corruption. To quote Moliere: L'on ne de-
vient guere si riche a etre honnetes gens.''^
And the coming war will reveal such an absence
'"Noctes Ambrosianae.
" Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme, Acte III, Sc. 12.
83

THE SPANISH WAR
of political morality on the part of the people, that
the world in general must conclude that what was
once considered a branch of the English-speaking
family is now only a conglomeration of the dregs of
European countries.''^
An Englishman.
Dinard, April, 1898.

What Does the Writer Want?
To the Editor of the Herald:
A British statesman once said that there was a
"Providence for drunken men, babies, and the
United States."
But of all the extraordinary actions of this ex
traordinary people, its course in regard to the Phil
ippines is assuredly the most baffling.
Having destroyed 500,000 Southerners and re
duced a number of once flourishing States to what
they are to-day, namely, a territorial blot; having
sacrificed a million of its own soldiers and spent bil
lions of the dollars it loves so well, and all to abolish
slavery within its own limits; having eradicated by
processes less drastic but more tenacious than those
of war some 5,000,000 redskins, and delivered over
great masses of suffering Chinamen to the relentless
" CoUuviem illam nationum. — ^Tacitus, Ann. II, 55.
84

THE SPANISH WAR
fury of murderous ruffians, the country now pro
poses to pay for the control of countless hordes of
"Thugs" sunk in political bondage so absolute that,
to quote from Mr. Kidd's recent work, "It is hope
less to expect the tropical negroes to develop into
communities capable of self-government and expan
sion along the lines of Westem civilization."
As Disraeli said of Cardinal Newman: the
United States have been apologized for, but never
explained. Yet, as the Scotch element, from Presi
dent McKinley down, is the predominating one in all
that pertains to American guidance and energy, a
partial reason for the desire to enlarge the nation's
area of action may be found in Voltaire's witty epi
gram: "Si I'^poux d'Eve la f&onde,
Au pays d'Ecosse dtait n6,
A demeurer chez lui Dieu I'aurait condamnd
Et non pas &. courir le monde."

Observer.

Biebrich, November 8, i8

War and Victory.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — The following letter has been sent. It is to
be hoped that the editor of the Evening Post, with
his well-known views in favor of peace and all that
pertains thereto, will pubhsh it. X.
8S

THE SPANISH WAR
To Hon. Seth Low, President of Columbia Uni
versity, New York City:
Dear Sir, — It has come to my knowledge that a
committee proposes to erect a gate within the
grounds of Columbia College with the words "War
and Victory" inscribed thereon. A monument in
memory of departed alumni may be raised without
contributing the intellectual influence of our alma
mater to the propagation of ideas which, in all but a
few armed conflicts, have their origin in the undevel
oped instincts of the human race, and derive their
immediate inspiration from the prize-ring and the
cock-pit.'* Continuoque animos vulgi et trepidantia bello
Corda licet longe prassciscere.'*
But it is incredible that sons of Columbia CoUege
should wish to perpetuate the memory of an epoch
of which it may truly be said, "Saevitque animis
ignobile vulgus." '° As a member of the class of '62
I utter a protest. '62.
St. Servan, France, September 8, 1898.
''' This gate was abandoned for a bronze tablet — vide Evening
Post, April 24, 1901.
The latin in the above probably demoralized the Board of
Trustees. '* The Georgics, IV, 69. " Mneid, I, 149.

86

THE SPANISH WAR
Our Methods and Gen. Weyler's.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — War was declared against Spain because of
General Weyler's methods, but it is hard to see in
what way the present methods differ from his.
Weyler tried to starve a people into subjection,
but the United States are "shooting to pieces with
GatHng guns" human beings so feeble that General
Merritt described them as "children."
We have evidently gone back to the time, of
which Michelet speaks, when a French Bishop "
having taken a city with 20,000 prisoners, and asked
if the Catholics should be spared, ordered : "Kill
them all, God will recognize his own."
Paris, 1900.  Observer.
Did Cubans Blow Up the Maine ?
To the Editor of the Herald:
The high-sounding references to justice and hu
manity on July 4, in Berlin and Paris, have a sinister
significance in view of the fact " that it is an open
secret in naval and political circles in Washington
"The Pope's Legate, Abbot, at the siege of M^ziers,—
Michelet, Histoire de France.
" Communicated to the writer by a weU-known RepubUcan,
who said it had been told him at the Union League Club, in New
York City, by a naval officer of high rank.
87

THE SPANISH WAR
that "President McKinley knew, on satisfactory evi
dence furnished by Spain, that the Maine was blown
up by the insurgents, and yet declared war" — a war
that Goldwin Smith, in the Contemporary Review
for May, asserts was, on the part of Spain, "in de
fence of the honor and independence of nations."
Despite the heading to its letter column, the Her
ald will probably not print this, as it might offend
many readers of a Republic which, more than any
other nation, can claim as its ancestors those who
said, "speak unto us smooth things." '*
Paris, July 6, 1899. OBSERVER.
From the Herald,
To the Editor of the Herald:
Your publication of a recent letter signed "Ob
server" must have been extremely gratifying to
him. "Observer" only exploited his ignorance of
America and its Chief Executive, and has learned,
for the trouble taken, that the Herald can print such
rot at any time, if it so desires, and with utmost im
punity. Any further information desired can be
secured by "Observer" through inserting an "ad."
in the Herald's want column. It is one thing to
observe, another to do so thoughtfully.
Paris, July 20, 1899. WASHINGTONIAN.
" Isaiah, XXX, 10.
88

THE SPANISH WAR
To the Editor of the Herald:
Even the Herald's marvellous "ads." and "wants"
cannot always give information, otherwise they
would have been used in the various bribery investi
gations that followed the telegram, "God rules and
the Republican party still lives." "Washingtonian's"
choice of words makes it plain why he is ignorant
of historical events taking place in a Capital whose
population consists so largely of needy politicians
and newly-enriched tradespeople.
Paris, July, 1899. OBSERVER.

From the Herald.
To the Editor of the Herald:
In the issue of the 23d, you were most courteous
in heading "Me and Piatt's" letter, "He has a fool
for a friend, or vice-versa," for according to the let
ter both friends should be included. . . .
After this burst of egotism, he proceeds to dare
the Herald to publish it, by the statement, "Big odds
that you don't publish this," which is about the same
plan recently adopted by "Observer," who seemed
to fear that some idiotic ideas in which he finds great
satisfaction would be denied a space.
Those desiring to take advantage of the privileges
of the correspondence column should understand
89

THE SPANISH WAR
that the Herald has nothing greater to regret in pub
lishing letters such as "Me and Piatt's," and "Ob
server's" than loss of space, and nothing to fear
from their ready imaginations and pens.
July 24, 1899 London.

To the Editor of the Herald:
If, as Herbert Spencer asserts, "the end which the
statesman should keep in view is the formation of
character," then the Great Republic is, vice-versa, a
destroyer of manliness, for the modem American
who wilfully enters an arena of discussion seems to
possess only one intellectual weapon — namely, the
faculty of personal abuse, "ut est mos vulgi," '^ and
one is forced to say with John Randolph :
The little dogs and aU,
Tray, Blanch, and Sweetheart, see, they bark at me.'"
Observer.
Paris, July 26, 1899.

The Blowing Up of the Maine.
From the Herald.
To the Editor of the Herald:
One word to "Observer," who speaks about "the
insurgents as having blown up the Maine, and that
'» Tacitus, Hist. I, 8. "> King Lear, Act III, Sc. 6.
90

THE SPANISH WAR
President McKinley knew this when he declared
war against Spain." I wish simply to call "Ob
server's" attention to "Ecclesiasticus," which says:
"Three sorts my soul hateth, and I am greatly
grieved at their life : A poor man that is proud ; a
rich man that is a liar ; an old man that is a fool and
doting." To which class does "Observer" belong?
Yankee.
CasteUamare, July ii, 1899.

To the Editor of the Herald:
As "Yankee" has put his own words in quotation
marks his case seems to fit the second half of the sec
ond "sort" of "Ecclesiasticus," and one may dismiss
persons of such mental calibre by simply following
Voltaire's dictum : "On n'a jamais pretendu eclairer
les cordonniers et les servantes ; c'est le partage des
apotres." *^ Observer.
Paris, July 16, 1899. General Alger.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The United States has at last found a scapegoat
for what has been termed mismanagement, corrup
tion, and incompetency in a situation which should
'• A d'Alembert, Lettre 235.
91

THE SPANISH WAR
have taxed the abilities of Carnot and Napoleon
combined. For no amount of personal abuse on the part of
those who follow that protagonist of vituperation,
the New York Sun, can answer the broad charge
that the people of the United States, unprepared and
undisciplined, flung themselves into a conflict which,
on their side, has all the character of national hys
teria fostered by political intrigue.
Paris, July 21, 1899. Nomad.

Military Atrocities.
To the Editor of the Herald:
In his article in the Figaro, of which the Herald
gave but a partial extract, M. Jean Hess shows
that the Americans, tried by treachery to "wipe out"
the armed Filipinos, that when Professor Schur
man, later on, proffered the good faith of the United
States as a guarantee, the FiUpino envoy intimated
that he was not looking for jokes for a comic paper.
M. Hess asserts that Americans are now offering a
premium for the head of a prominent Filipino, a sys
tera which, in view of the "lynchings" in the
United States, reveals a uniformity of method alto
gether national in its character.
Paris, July 30, 1899. An Irishman.
92

THE SPANISH WAR
Porto Rico and the United States.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — As Porto Rico, from a state of contentment
in which it was before the United States took posses
sion, has been plunged into rapidly increasing mis
ery, why not, in order that it should be properly and
justly governed, transfer it back to Spain? Colonel
Higginson's suggestion that the Boer cowhide
should be resorted to for the purpose of instilling cer
tain political principles is strangely at variance with
his anti-slavery record ; but equally abhorrent is the
theory of Captain Mahan's school of politics, which
seems to have taken for its motto the Spanish prov
erb : that a knife is good for cutting bread and kill
ing a man. Observer.
France, March 5.
A Paradise on Earth.
To the Editor of the Herald:
People who subscribe to the Herald absorb lit
tle of its common sense if they do not realize that
the Herald does not attack American institutions,
only the "professional patriots," *^ and that the
'^ To disprove the charge of inteUectual modesty so often
hurled against Americans, the following is given from a speech at
the "RepubUcan dinner", in New York City, February 12, 1902:
"And on the summit of this century, erect, vrith her face toward
93

THE SPANISH WAR
whole tendency of its articles is to show, what was
originally said of Spain, that, give the United States
a good government, and you would not be able to
keep a single angel in Paradise.
Another Subscriber to the Herald.
Paris, July 13, 1900.

Everything Comes to Him who Waits.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald proclaims the "Cubans waiting for
freedom," Fabius Maximus McKinley waiting, and
intimates that Congress is "cunctating." The Cu
bans are probably saying with Sancho Panza, "The
doing one thing for another is the same as lying."
Let all three have patience, and take heart from the
the sun, fiUed with peace for the world, fearless, faithful, and
calm, stands the Goddess of Liberty holding in one hand the
sword and in the other education. On her brow rests a wreath
of roses, and on her neck sparkle the jewels of wealth. Her gar
ments faU in folds of grace upon a figure the companion of which
great Phidias never saw in his visions of Minerva, nor aU the
imagery of Greece could fashion such a queen. And her name
is Peace and her name is Charity, and her name is Virtue. She
is the mother of Time, and her chUdren are Order and Law, Edu
cation, Liberty, Patience, and Patriotism. At her feet are plead
ing empires and at her breasts nurse the nations of the world."
As Mr. Depew spoke at the same dinner, in the same strain,
one can say that Juvenal, XI, 33-4, was prophet as weU as satirist:
Quis sis.
Orator vehemens, an Curtius, an Matho, buccae.
94

THE SPANISH WAR
man who sat down in a hatter's because of the sign :
"Here you get your hat brushed while you wait for
fifty cents." He, also, is still waiting.
Salle D'Attente.
Paris, February 6, 1901.

The Ninth Part of a Man.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The leader in to-day's Herald fails to explain why
America should obey the dictation of the Daily Mail.
Having committed the most colossal "gaffe"
known to history in paying many millions for the
right to assert control over a pest hole always ready
to burst into insurrection, the United States must
now obey the logic of facts, namely, withdraw its
decimated army, impeach those who have exceeded
their powers, and change the motto on the silver dol
lar to Scelerato Insania Belli.^^
A Tooley Street Tailor.
Paris, 1900.
To the Editor of the Herald:
As the Herald has a fashion of being "ever strong
upon the stronger side," '* and tells Mark Twain, on
the authority of the New York Times, to "leave
«' iEneid, VII, 461- " King John, Act III, Sc. 1.
95

THE SPANISH WAR
politics alone," perhaps it will be frank enough to
repeat the quotation from the New York Times of
August 21, 1898: "That a perilous unrest was, in
fact, our first and greatest reason for declaring war."
It has been openly stated in Paris that General
Woodford cabled to Madrid: "If Spain wishes
peace, she can have it in three hours, and the United
States will be generous." Spain, having imme
diately availed herself of M. Cambon's good ofiices,
the subsequently avowed appropriation of the Phil
ippines was the limit of the generosity displayed.'"
The Herald might be induced to show a little of the
belated energy it put forth in the Hay-Lowther
affair. X.
Paris, February 14, igoi.

Refused by the Evening Post,
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — In view of the vastly enlarged field of re
search over which the future historian must wander
in order to collect his facts, it is interesting to know
if the cablegram — ^that important adjunct of modem
statesmanship — is to be permitted to play its part.
It has been openly stated in Paris, as already
"Nec cuiquam ultra fides aut memoria prioris sacramenti,
sed quod in seditionibus accidit, unde plures erant, omnes fuere.
— Tacitus, Hist. I, 56.
96

THE SPANISH WAR
made known in the Paris Herald, "That General
Woodford cabled to Madrid: 'If Spain wishes
peace, she can have it in three hours, and the United
States will be generous.' Spain having immediately
availed herself of M. Cambon's good offices, the sub
sequently avowed appropriation of the Philippines
was the limit of the generosity displayed."
It has also been stated that the cablegram was sent
to a member of the Austrian legation.*" Under the
existing ruling any cable company would refuse a
copy. General Woodford is naturally the guardian of
his own fame, but it would seem compatible with his
honor that he should admit or disown an act of
whose perfidy he must have been the unconscious in
strument. He has only to remember that Chateaubriand
gained vastly in reputation because of his resigna
tion of the mission to Turkey on the murder of the
Due d'Enghien, and that the world approved of the
action of the London policeman, who, detailed to
follow Mr. Gladstone at night, reported that he him
self was an honest man and the father of a family,
and preferred other duty. Observer.
New York, September 3, 1901.
"Given to the author by one connected with the Austrian
legation.
97

THE SPANISH WAR
Agtxinaldo's Capture.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — In view of the treacherous capture of Aguin
aldo and of the "general rejoicing at the White
House," will the Evening Post give the reply, quoted
by Tacitus, of even the despicable Tiberius, when
told he could have the great Arminius for a price :
"Responsumque esse non fraude neque occultis, sed
palam et armatum populum Romanum hostes suos
ulcisci !" *' Observer.
Paris, March 30, 1901.

Does Not Read the Herald.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald should fold a copy of the Matin with
its own daily edition. In paying three sous for the
latter, one would then get the news. For the Matin
states that a successor to Aguinaldo has been elected,
that Mr. McKinley is running away from Cuba
from fright, and that Venezuela had curtly told the
United States "to go about its business."
The Herald prefers to fill its columns with letters
from perturbed "Americans" who, when abroad,
boldly refuse to beplaster their manly bosoms with
8'Annales 11,88.
98

THE SPANISH WAR
their country's flag, in the hope that they may be
taken for Englishmen.
At first the eagle was the American "national
bird"; the Spanish war substituted the "gobbler,"
with the truth-telling emblem: "Vox et praeterea
nihil." Now American manifestations, individual as
well as national, point to the "sucking dove." **
Happy country, if it escape the peacock, with its
"head of a serpent, pace of a thief, and voice of a
fiend !" *^ A Louisiana Negro.
Paris, April 14, 1901.

General Weyler.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Where can I buy a corset? Not one, according
to the old French sign, that
Contient les forts,
Soutient les faibles,
Ramene les ^gar&.
but one that has good steel ribs. I wish to send it
to General Weyler to hold him in.
For, with "Cuba being starved into annexation,"
the Concentration camps in South Africa, and Gen
eral Bell, United States Army, "establishing 'recon-
" Midsummer Night's Dream, Act I, Sc. 2.
*' Old EngUsh description.
99

THE SPANISH WAR
centrado camps' in the Philippines," the doughty
warrior must be "splitting his sides with laughter."
It would be a pity for this "Great God of War" to
have an accident from excessive mirth.
A Celt.
Paris, January 26, 1902.

" A Louisiana Negro " Gives Inside Data of the
Spanish War.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald's friend, the Matin, states that Mr.
McKinley "has to let go" of Cuba, and sneeringly
informs a silent American press that Cuba is "une
iie situee dans les Antilles, au sud de I'Amerique
du Nord." The Matin forgets that the long-foreseen
"skedaddle" leaves every one happy. Wall Street
has its "boom" — chief purpose of the war — and
"financial magnates" now know that, if time is
money, "humanity" pays better. Mr. McKinley has
his second term, minor object of the war. Mr.
Roosevelt, only partly happy, has his place on the
side of the Presidential chair that has no seat.
General Weyler, the speculator's good angel, is
back in Spain's bosom. The reconcentrados are in
heaven. And Cubans have what disappointed syn
dicates found to be "as concave as a worm-eaten
100

THE SPANISH WAR
nut." *" But happiest of all should be "un Ameri
cain, I'un de leurs hommes d'Etat les plus considera
bles," who, in the Figaro of April 23, 1898, asserted
that United States "subjects" had "aucune velleite
d'annexion," and who gave as one motive for war
the fact that somebody had called Mr. McKinley "a
common politician."
Now that the "incident est clos," it is clear that
when the American people are summoned to the bar
of history, a remnant of their honor may be saved
if they are allowed to plead the excuse of the clergy
man convicted of theft : that he could only explain it
on the ground of the total aberration of his mental
faculties. A Louisiana Negro.
Paris, April 26, 1901.
"> As You Like It, Act III, Sc. 4.

IOI

POLITICAL CONDITIONS IN
THE UNITED STATES.

A Polity Above Party Strife.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — In view of the frequent charges of treason
made by such newspapers as the Sun, and by nu
merous speakers at public dinners, against any one
who may try to analyze, in an independent way, the
existing political conditions in the United States, it
is not, perhaps, surprising that reflecting persons
may wish to give a reason for "the faith that is
within them." ^^
One can begin by asserting that the United States
needs no defenders. From the nature of its birth,
the country was at its inception only a social prob
lem, or, as regarded European tendencies, an entity,
"without form and void," ^^ but still one planned to
work out a better future for humanity at large ; for
the system of plural sovereignty, as shown in the
" Sydney Smith, Memoir Vol. I, p. 53.
" Genesis, I, .c.
102

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
several States, was established in accordance with
the idea that govemment is the weapon of common
action, and the whole theory of the nation's founda
tion forbade such a unity of control as might involve
the people in foreign complications.
Such a polity is, therefore, above party strife,
for it is embodied in the national unit known as the
United States of America, which, with the excep
tion of the Roman Catholic Church, is the purest
form of Democracy yet devised, and whose Consti
tution is approved by the world to the point of imi
tation. But while any defence of this polity would
only be undertaken by those who are victims of their
own egregious vanity, every American who holds to
the political philosophy of his country's founders
should attack with all the means in his power, either
with ridicule, denunciation, or personal effort, the
partisanship that has led to a concentrated form of
government with its natural train of such evil ac
companiments as these :
(i.) The war of 1 86 1-5, which could have been
avoided, had the North not been eager for a progres
sive absorption of power, and had it realized the
plain fact that vested interests like slavery, whatever
their origin or character, can only be adjusted by
time and an effort of common good will."'
" Vide Mr. Root's speech (Union League Club), February, 1903.
103

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
(2.) The "Carpet Bag" rule in the South, which
those who permitted it accepted as calmly as if theft
were the bond of human intercourse.
(3.) The system of Protection,"* which, by de
stroying the principle of equality before the law, has
annihilated the moral sense of the people, and has
brought about an era of individual enrichment by
legislative favoritism, hitherto unknown in the his
tory of finance, and the continuance of which has
been assured by the creation of huge responsibilities,
such as the pension list.
(4.) The utter indifference of the nation to the
prolongation of a policy such as the unlawful exer
cise, by a President, of his official power to wage
war against a people not yet legally recognized as
enemies — such indifference being a virtual surrender
of the citizen's birthright.
Any question of individual responsibility must,
however, disappear. For, as long as the people
permit a course of legislation the result of which is
being slowly but surely accepted as a plutocratic des
potism, they practically create the latter, and elec
tions are, accordingly, only the ordinary phenomena
of the same vicious system. Messrs. McKinley,
'* NegUgis immeritis nocituram
Postmodo te natis fraudem committere?
— Horace, Odes, I, Carmen, XXV, 30-31.
104

IN THE UNITED STATES
Roosevelt, and Bryan are but symptoms, so to
speak, of public decadence, who, as other men in
their places could do, profit by the supineness of a
nation to ventilate their personal theories.
To conclude: the country was, at the first, a so
cial problem, framed to develop in the direction of
greater personal liberty, and, therefore, of a larger
amount of individual happiness, and such it will be
come again, when Americans are once more ac
tuated by the noble principle that a wrong done to
the meanest individual is a crime toward the whole
State; or are guided anew by that sublime concep
tion of true democracy :
Greater he shaU not be; if he serve God,
We'U serve him, too and be his feUow so.""
But to gain this end "A species of moral regener
ation must first be accomplished," as the London
Times said of England some eight years ago. "Pres
ent habits of thought and present prejudices must be
submerged in a widespread patriotism which places
the national good above every personal considera
tion." Observer.
France, August 15, 1900.
»« Richard IL, Act III, Sc. 2.

105

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
Our Diplomatic Service.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — ^Among the questions of the day, that of
raising the character of the United States diplomatic
and consular service has not received sufficient at
tention. It is well known that one of our Ministers, speak
ing at a public dinner, soberly advised his fair com'-
patriots not to marry the money-hunting, disrepu
table men of the nation to which he was accredited ;
that another took advantage of a "drawing-room" to
"hand round" his card, saying at the time, "This
saves me the trouble of calling" ; that a third, in an
swer to an invitation to dinner from the British Min
ister, sent the following "gem" : "Old Fel. Can't
come. Too  hot. Mrs. sick. Doc. says 'tisn't
catching. Yours, etc." ; that the wife of a fourth re
mains seated in the presence of royalty and conde
scendingly remarks to her Majesty, "How's your
husband ?"
The ordinary consul who does not, even "in ofiice
hours," have his feet poised higher than his head,
runs the chance on retuming home to his associates
of being charged with servilely imitating the man
ners of a Chesterfield. Perhaps, after one hundred
years of what can now only be considered as experi-
io6

IN THE UNITED STATES
mental government, it is idle to look for better ap
pointments and we must still continue to say with
Sancho Panza, "We are all of us as the good Lord
made us, and some of us a great deal worse." ""
France, January 19th. OBSERVER.

The Republican Party.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Ex-Governor Boutwell's remarks at Indianapolis :
"The Republican party must be destroyed," is a fit
ting complement to "Zach" Chandler's utterance of
some forty years ago: "The country needs a little
blood-letting." When it is remembered that the Republican party,
by its advent, led to a disastrous civil war; that it
destroyed slavery, as regards the negro, in the South
only to spread it, in the guise of protection, over the
whole country; that its course has been marked by
the "carpet bag" rule in the South ; the Union Pacific
swindle ; the Star Route frauds ; the monstrous pen
sion scandal; a war forced upon Spain, although
General Woodford (vide Evening Post) openly as
serts that it could have been avoided by diplomacy ;
last and crowning disgrace, the slaughter of the Fili-
"' Concute, num qua tibi vitiorum inseverit oUm
Natura, aut etiam consuetudo mala.
—Horace, Sat. I, 3, 35.
107

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
pinos; and that the nation pays 150 miUions of extra
taxes each year for the privilege of having Mr. Mc
Kinley in office — why, it is time that the country
should realize that the terms corruption and mas
sacre are synonymous with the word Republican,
and that the people should show, in the coming elec
tion, that they possess other qualities than those of
the low intelligence and venal brutality of the New
York City police. Critic
Paris, August 22, 1900.

Lawyers and Statesmanship.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — Although nothing in the way of strength can
be added to Mr. Henry Loomis Nelson's well-knitted
argument in your issue of yesterday in regard to the
"duties collected on goods coming from the Philip
pines," yet the reductio ad absurdum, so clearly fas
tened upon the Administration, lends additional im
portance to the fact stated by Mr. Depew at the
lawyers' dinner in London, that "of twenty-one
Presidents of the United States, seventeen had been
lawyers." Heaven alone knows how many members of the
different Cabinets have belonged to the same profes
sion! Enough, probably, judging by the existing
108

IN THE UNITED STATES
abnormal position of our country, to confirm the
soundness of Burke's remark, in his Reflections, that
"lawyers are naturally bad statesmen."
Certainly, the ordinary mortal is justified in be
lieving that the mechanical impulse given to their
mental faculties by a special training ought to pre
vent lawyers from ever rising to that full power of
generalization which is the essence of statesman
ship ; and perhaps the time is not far distant when a
confiding but deceived country shall utter with a cry
of anger, Sutor, ne supra crepidam!
It would not be altogether just for a layman to
assert also that the Philippine dilemma is the logical
outcome of the theory of Junius, that "as to lawyers,
their profession is supported by the indiscriminate
defense of right and wrong" ; *' but the variations,
to speak diplomatically, indulged in by the present
Cabinet recall very foicibly Mr. Lecky's estimate of
Mr. Gladstone : "There is such a thing as an honest
man with a dishonest mind. There are men who are
wholly incapable of wilful and deliberate untruthful
ness, but who have the habit of quibbling with their
convictions, and by skilful casuistry persuading
themselves that what they wish is right." *'
" Junius, Letter 14.
•' Et quod fere Ubenter homines id quod volunt credunt. — ¦
Caesar, Comm. Ill, 28. 109

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
And if lawyers continue to exercise such a prepon
derance, and one so manifestly pernicious, in the
conduct of national affairs, the American people
must at last stand face to face with the problem
which, in the matter of his own government, so often
confronts the French citizen, viz.: A soldier or a
priest. Observer.
Pine HiU, N. Y., August 21, r9oi.

Refused by the New York Times.
To the Editor of the Times, Saturday Review:
Sir, — Professor Brander Matthews' attempt to
"Americanize" English, and his defense of the "split
infinitive," cannot be better illustrated than by the
story of the country bumpkin who, when some one
said he was going to the "daypo," replied, "Dee-
pott, man, pronounce an American word in an Amer
ican way."
It has always been supposed that it was the wish
of literary men to keep their cult pure, that is, free
from the poison of politics. Of course it was a noble
exception that led the "intellectuels" of France, who
were without the influence that money and political
power produce, to rush in and rescue an unfortunate
being from the hands of his torturers ; but many a
modern American college professor, instead of im-
IIO

IN THE UNITED STATES
pregnating the minds of young men with ideas of
civic virtue and correct thought, and, as a conse
quence, correct expressions, seems mainly bent on
fashioning a race of megalomaniacs.
First comes President Schurman, with his tele
gram, last autumn, to Mr. McKinley: "Go up
higher." It is safe to say that no other such obscurity of ex
pression has occurred save that relative to the exact
geographical position of Saul when, according to the
Bible, he was pursuing David : "And Saul went on
this side of the mountain and David on that side." ®*
And now Professor Brander Matthews poses as
the Sir Oracle who would degrade our mother
tongue to the level of the Stock Exchange vulgarian,
who, when told of some rumor, pronounced it to be
"only a Cunard."
As Herbert Spencer says of statesmen, so with
our teachers — ^they are charged with the "formation
of character," and should not be what the French
call "brasseurs d'affaires," — ^but if the latter insist
upon being protagonists of Chauvinism they must
not complain if some pupil of inconvenient memory
shall be forced to quote from Juvenal : ^
" Nam lingua maU pars pessima servi."
Pine HUl, September 9, 1901. ZoiLE.
" I Samuel, XXIII, 26. ' Satires, IX, 120.
Ill

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
(Returned by the Evening Post on the ground that, having
been received simultaneously vrith the news of the wounding of
Mr. McKinley, it was deemed inopportune to publish it.)
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — When the Hon. John Barrett, in a letter
which savors a little too much of the protest of old
mother Hamlet, reproaches your paper with a "bit
ter anti-McKinley feeling," old-time readers of the
Evening Post are stirred somewhat by the same re
flection that caused Mr. Cleveland's enemies, so to
speak, to be such an attractive element in his char
acter. It may be said that the eternal fitness of things
was never better illustrated than by the nomination,
in 1900, of Mr. McKinley in the city of Philadel
phia. For, when it is realized that Philadelphia is the
nest (vide reports) of typhoid fever and appendicitis
due to its polluted water, the consequence of dishon
est rule, and that its death rate is larger than that of
any other city in the Union, except New Orleans,
and that the State of which it is the chief city is the
foremost defender of the tariff and is a synonym for
corruption in the even relatively pure cities of New
York and Chicago, then is seen in all its hideous
nakedness the sympathetic effect upon the citizen of
the degrading influence of the system of protection
112

IN THE UNITED STATES
so justly called the "foe of civilization" ; * and the
fact that Mr. McKinley's second nomination was
made in such a civic cesspool is a demonstration of
political unity that admits of no misunderstanding.
Had Penn, as Voltaire relates in his history of
the Quakers, listened to his dying father, the old
Admiral, who "begged William to put a band on his
hat and buttons on his clothes," it is probable that
to-day Pennsylvania, for the honor of the country,
would not have reached such full-grown infamy.
And a believer in the theory of causation has
only to remember that Penn, according to Macaulay,
received Pennsylvania as a reward for his baseness
in pandering to the money necessities of the dissolute
women of the English Court, that Pennsylvania is
simply carrying out the law of its birth — Nemo re
pente fuit turpissimus^ — and that it was to Penn
sylvania that Mr. McKinley naturally went to obtain
a vindication of his first Administration. Observer.
New York City, September 4, 1901.
' M. Droz, Pr&ident de la Confed&ation Suisse, September
20, 1887.
The PhUadelphia Ledger, March 29, r90S, speaking of the
"Erhardt biU," virtually framed to promote "White Slavery,"
says: "No legislative body in the temperate zone, where the
forms of civilization are respected, has faUen so low as the legis
lature of Pennsylvania."
s Juvenal, Sat. II, 83. "3

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
Refused by the Evemng Post.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — The Evening Post has shown such independ
ence of criticism that it would be unfair to speak of
it as being "ever strong upon the stronger side";
but its encomium of Dr. Huntington's sermon in to
day's issue leads one to suggest that if the clergy
really desire to bring about the condition of mens
sana in corpore sano * they should urge the abolition
of the duty on wool.
It is unnecessary to expatiate on the mental deg
radation that this barbarity inflicts upon the poor.
It does not do, as the Evening Post has well re
marked, to take "refuge in a phrase," but it must be
remembered that the rich are their own protectors,
and that the poor have no one to defend them.
Free Trader.
New York, September 19, 1901.

Refused by the Evening Post.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — If, according to recent ecclesiastical utter-
ances,° laws are to be passed restricting "free
* Juvenal, Sat. X, 356.
' Les th&logiens — ces ennemis r&ls du genre humain. — ^Vol
taire h Fr^d^ric IL, Lettre 2. 114

IN THE UNITED STATES
speech," it would seem as if some annoyance might
then be experienced by clergymen themselves, to the
benefit, perhaps, of the reading public.
At the time of Queen Victoria's death Cardinal
Vaughan ' announced that she could be prayed for
in private but not in public, and adherents of Rome
claimed that in "Purgatory" she "would not be al
lowed to mix with the Catholic set." (Vide corre
spondence in the London Times. )
In this country there has been of late a pulpit de
fense of lynching, and now a prominent divine vir
tually attacks the Constitution of the United States
by making it a derivative of the French Revolution.
These several teachings are at variance with what
Lecky calls "That general accuracy of observation
and of statement which all education tends more or
less to produce." ^ And if the clergy demand "more
education," let it be supplied.
For the present, one remembers only Voltaire's
dictum: On peut laisser dire tous les theologiens,
qui n'ont jamais dit que des sottises.* Observer.
New York, September 20, 1901.
' En v^rit€ U n'y a point de prfitre qui ne doive baisser les yeux
et rougir devant im honnete homme. — Lord BoUngbroke selon
Voltaire, Lettres Anglaises.
'History of European Morals.
' Au Prince Royal de Prusse, Lettre 71.
"5

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
Refused by the Herald.
To the Editor of the Herald:
It is pleasing to note the tendency of even our
purest political characters to resort to pious phrase
ology. When Senator Hanna was elected he telegraphed
to Mr. McKinley, "God rules and the Republican
party still lives." It was stated that, despite Provi
dential aid, Senator Hanna had bought enough votes
to secure the result ; and, as all religious denomina
tions — honest folk! — change hymns to suit their
peculiar views. Democratic parsons gave out the one
beginning, "God rules in a mysterious way."
Now, Senator Platt, speaking of Mr. Low's vic
tory, says that Republicans came "to the help of the
Lord." ' Certainly, "the devil can cite Scripture for
his purpose." ^"
But most impudent of all is the cablegram of the
Lord Provost of Glasgow. What has the ruler of
the most hideously drunken city in the world to do
with a New York City election ?
And one is tempted to repeat the dictum of Junius
in regard to Scotchmen in general: "And Cock-
bum, like most of his countrymen, is as abject to
• Judges, V, 23.
¦• Merchant of Venice, Act I, Sc. 3.
116

IN THE UNITED STATES
those above him as he is insolent to those below
him." ^^ And also the opinion of Clarendon, the his
torian, that if a Scot could have either honesty or
courage he might be something of a man.
Paris, November, 1901. ZOILE.

From a Sociologist's Point of View.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Ignoring personalities, Mr. Wertheimber's ques
tion, "Who are Americans ?" has a certain import.
At present, and since the Spanish war, they may
be said to be only bulbous-headed protoplasms, i.e.,
without distinctive nationality.
Taking the admitted proportion of one religious
person to every three, there are in the United States
(see almanacks) 25,000,000 Catholics (mostly
Irish), 15,000,000 Germans, 11,000,000 negroes,
2,000,000 Poles, 2,000,000 Swedes, and 5,000,000
others, leaving the Anglo-Saxon as one-fourth.
Time will eliminate this last piratical (see Boer
war and Philippine horrors) element, and then our
country will again become a factor in civilization.
Paris, November 4, iQoi- ^ LOUISIANA NeGRO.
" Junius, Preface to Letters.
Adversus superiores tristi adulatione, arrogans minoribus. —
Tacitus, Ann. I, 21. 117

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
Censorship at the White House.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Every decent man must regard Tammany's rela
tion to good government as that of garbage to sound
food. But President Roosevelt's telegram to Mr.
Low, ignoring Pennsylvania, suggests either a cen
sorship at the White House or that the American
people should say to Mr. Roosevelt as the man said
to his dog : "We want nothing but silence from you,
and plenty of that."
Mr. Roosevelt has described Democrats as "prison
vermin." ^^ There are over six millions of us as
voters, and if we are not all politicaUy pure as "Jim"
Blaine, "Matt" Quay, and "Tom" Platt, those of us
who are fighting for "sweeter manners, purer
laws" " hope that the Herald wUl voice our protest.
Paris, November 8, 1901. -^ DEMOCRAT.
Bums Did Not Foresee Lodge.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald's ex-cathedra assertion of the won
derful powers of national assimilation on the part of
"As the "Majfflower," 180 tons, with many thousand pas
sengers, according to genealogical pretensions, was over two
months en route, there probably was not a body bath taken on
the voyage. Therefore the "Puritans" may be caUed the original
"great unwashed." "Tennyson, In Memoriam, CV.
118

IN THE UNITED STATES
the United States explains why, when an immigrant
reaches America, he at once has a tab, "Good Amer
ican," pinned on his coat and is hurried off to the
polls to vote.
Did not Senator Lodge — as a "Memorial to Mr.
McKinley" — ^propose to change the name "The Phil
ippine Islands" to "The McKinley Archipelago" ?
Permit me to say frankly through your columns
that Burns was an imbecile when he wrote: "O,
would some power the giftie gie us," ^* etc., for the
adversaries of a political Boanerges have not even
the courage to mutter to themselves, "Oh for a
Lodge in some vast wilderness ! " ^'^
Impransus.
Paris, 1902.
FOR THE McKINLEY MEMORIAL.
A Correspondent Who Thinks the Funds Should be
Devoted to Founding a Hospital.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Will the Herald permit a bitter political adversary
of many of the members of the Paris Committee of
the Memorial to Mr. McKinley — an adversary who
often regrets that his force is not equal to his venom
'* To a Louse.
" Cowper, The Task, II, The Timepiece, line r.
119

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
— to suggest to them, and that most respectfully,
that the money raised by them should be held to
wards building an American hospital in Paris?
There are times when politics are nauseating, when
one would like to be a genuinely "good" American
— of course, in his own acceptation of the term.
There are times when one would like to ignore
"rumors of wars" ^® (on reading in your paper that
"one could not make a better use of his dollars than
in founding a hospital for American students in the
Latin quarter, whose misery in time of illness I have
unfortunately had many opportunities of witness
ing"), and would also wish to be an "awfully good
Britisher." Therefore, please send the enclosed to the commit
tee. The small sum measures my finances better
than it does my good will. I cannot "talk like a
5,000-franc cheque," and this without any "arriere
pensee." Indeed, it is not necessary. The commit
tee, with many Americans, must know that when
some of the many hundred American young men
and young women in Paris fall ill, as regards
hospital arrangements they either lie or die in the
gutter. A McKinley memorial in the nature of an Ameri
can hospital in Paris would, on the part of our coun-
" St. Matthew, XXIV. 6.
120

IN THE UNITED STATES
trymen abroad, be a just tribute to Mr. McKinley's
noble sorrow for his invalid wife, uttered when he
fell. A Democrat.
Paris, February 3, 1902.

Refused by the Herald.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The letter in your issue of to-day, signed "Ameri
can Well Wisher," etc., written by one who orates
as if he were an integral and necessary part of cos
mos, and giving, as it does, the changed designation
"McKinley National Memorial Fund," reveals so
clearly the preconceived partisan character of the
"movement" that, perhaps, the Herald will for once
depart from its established rule and hear both sides.
The attempt to exalt McKinley the ofiicial, and not
McKinley the man, can only be regarded as an effort
to create political capital on the part of those who
have profited so largely by his conduct of affairs that
at last, to accept Mr. Depew's well known estimate,
they have succeeded in turning the United States
government into a plutocratic despotism.
Mr. McKinley, the President, needs no memorial ;
for, although the man won all hearts by the calm
heroism of his death, yet the ruler, through the class
legislation engendered by his Protection pohcy, is
121

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
already "enthroned" " in the lives and, it may be
said, the miseries of his fellow countrymen.
It may be urged that it is the fault of the people
themselves that in the country of universal suffrage,
"Laws grind the poor, and rich men rule the law," "
but our people are, for the moment, the victims of a
disorganized political system, citizens of a nation
which is in process of formation only. And those
who have an abiding faith in their future firmly be
lieve that the time will surely come when it shall no
longer be possible to say (whatever he meant to con
vey) with Mr. Gage, late Secretary of the Treasury,
that it is a land where there is plenty of money and
little commercial integrity.
The Canton Committee of the "Memorial Fund"
reports only $10,000 raised so far. Perhaps, already
the people of the United States are, with a slight
change of text, reversing the order established by
Tacitus : "Monumentum ad praesens, in posterum ul
tionem." ^* Observer.
Paris, January 8, 1902.
" Merchant of Venice, Act IV, Sc. 1.
" Goldsmith, The Traveller.
" Munimentum ad praesens, in posterum ultionem. — Tacitus,
Hist. I, 44.

122

IN THE UNITED STATES
To the Editor of the Herald:
One hopes that the German Emperor's plan of em
bellishing Washington will be followed :
France could send a bust of Louis XV. — objet de
vertu. The Chamberlainites, statue of Gen. Bene
dict Arnold, with inscription: "L'Union fait la
farce." As the Herald no longer refers to "Poor Mr.
White," the United States Legation in London
might frame a code of manners for the members of
the New York Chamber of Commerce, who are hur
rying to England to vindicate their social importance
by shaking the King's hand.
These baskers in Royal sunshine should be told
that it is only an Ambassador who, on being "pre
sented," "draws up" a chair and sits down beside
the Sovereign. "Diplomaticus."
Dinard, May 20, 1902.

Quite So.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Will the Herald permit the following in regard to
"Justitia's" letter in your issue of to-day ?
(i.) "Justitia's" argument can thus be con
densed : 123

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
(A.) A negro is a colored citizen of the United
States, and "as such, the country owes to him exactly
the same recognition, encouragement, and opportu
nity as to a white citizen."
(B.) The President of the United States must be
a citizen. (C.) Therefore, a negro can be elected President
of the United States. Comment is futile.
(2.) If all sentiment in regard to color is to be ig
nored, how does "Justitia" explain the following
fact? A colored Frenchman, a man of good education
and courteous manners, arrived recently in New
York City (not Charleston, S. C), from Martinique
at two o'clock in the afternoon. He spent the time
from that hour until after midnight looking for a
hotel that would receive him. Everywhere he was
refused admittance because of his color, and finally
had to take lodgings in a "negro boarding-house"
in Greene Street.
(3.) If a race problem can be solved by statistics,
why is it against British policy in India to put even
Eurasians in command (commissioned oflScers) over
native troops?
(4.) Race problems are solved by natural laws,
not by legislation. "Peregrinus."
Paris, January 2Sth. 124

IN THE UNITED STATES
Why Cotton For Lancashire May Be Scarce in the
Future.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Lecky wrote of Gladstone : "There is such a thing
as an honest man with a dishonest mind. There are
men who are wholly incapable of wilful and deliber
ate untruthfulness, but who have the habit of quib
bling with their convictions, and by skilful casuistry
persuading themselves that what they wish is right."
Is Mr. Morley copying Mr. Gladstone? For at
Manchester he said: Suppose the Americans put a
half-penny a pound on your raw cotton, where is
Lancashire? Certainly, the English protagonist of
Free Trade ought to know that the Constitution of
the United States declares (Art. i. Sec. IX, No.
5) : No tax or duty shall be laid on articles exported
from any State.^"
But now that woollen manufacturers in the
United States are making clothing for the masses
wholly of Mercerized cotton — which Congress re
fuses to have stamped as "shoddy" — Lancashire will
probably find its necessary staple scarcer in the fu
ture. "A Free Trader."
Paris, October 22, 1903.
^° The substance, almost the verbiage, of this letter was adver
tised all over England by the Times, in its sale of the Encyclopaedia
Britannica. Vide DaUy MaU, December 11, 1903.
125

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
Does the Future Belong to the Slav ?
To the Editor of the Herald:
Your reference in to-day's paper to the small
"American birth-rate," conforms to Alexander von
Humboldt's theory — ^that when immigration ceases
the people of the United States will either die out or
evolve into a type like the Indian. What Mr. Roose
velt calls "race suicide" is not voluntary ; it is due to
climatic and economic conditions, chief among the
latter being Protection — which Mr. Chamberlain is
offering to England — so that the "struggle for life,"
hard anywhere, is ten times harder in the United
States. With the thermometer from lo degrees to
60 degrees below zero, Americans must be shivering
most thoroughly in the "cotton overcoats" (now
made by patriotic woollen manufacturers, who scorn
Mr. Chamberlain's "old, worn-out Shibboleth of
Free Trade"). Which health-destroying clothing
Congress — that has spent "900 millions" on the
Spanish war in order to keep up protective duties —
refuses to have stamped as "shoddy." Is the
Anglo-Saxon disappearing as a factor in civiliza
tion, and does the future belong to the Slav?
"A Free Trader."
Paris, January 25th. 126

IN THE UNITED STATES
Blames the Climate.
To the Editor of the Herald:
I find in the appeal for the Archbishop Temple
Memorial Fund the word "strenuous." Now, it is
not detracting from President Roosevelt's credit that
he has given renewed use to a word to call attention
to the fact that the same word is employed in its
modern popular sense by both Horace and Tacitus.
But, thanks to the exciting climate of America,
"strenuous'' corresponds to that American qual
ity which leads a man to rush and jump on a ferry
boat, two feet from the dock, only to find, after hav
ing knocked down half a dozen people, that the boat
is coming in; and it comports with the idea that
every American who respects himself either dies on
a railway train or drops dead signing a cheque. We
Americans are not all Bostonians. Some of us still
have a sense of humor. And a state of mind that
leads grave Englishmen to substitute "strenuous"
for energetic suggests flattery rather than praise.
One is tempted to repeat : Timeo Danaos,^^ etc., and
"Normans and Saxons and Danes are we." ^^
"Zoile."
Paris, March sth.
" iEneid, II, 49.
"' Tennyson, Ode to Alexandra.
127

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
Refused by the Herald.
Protection and strikes are close companions, and
the death of a Philadelphia "druggist," leaving "50
millions," emphasizes the fact that for many years
the Protectionists in the United States have forced
the sick and the dying to pay a "blood tax" on qui
nine. Since the struggle is increasing between Capi
tal and Labor in America, people should now elect a
President who will not cringe to the one or pander
to the other. Last spring, because of strikes, house
painters in New York City got eight dollars a day.
Yet if Congress imposes duties that enrich manufac
turers and capitalists, why shouldn't Labor "better
the instruction," ^^ and make exorbitant demands ?
Protection is not only organized Anarchy, but it de
stroys the moral sense of a people. Take Pennsyl
vania : "I shall try to drive every corrupt man out
of the State," said one of its Republican Govemors
to Senator Quay. "Governor," replied Quay, "do
you intend to deprive your party of all its voters ?"
Free Trade.
October, 1904.
'' Merchant of Venice, Act III, Sc i.

128

IN THE UNITED STATES
Parasites.
To the Herald:
Sir, — The importance given by the London Times
and the Daily Telegraph to the news that Mr. Elihu
Root has arranged une entente cordiale between Mr.
Roosevelt and Mr. Pierpont Morgan leads one to re
call that earlier in his career, Mr. Root attracted
much adverse comment by his eamest professional
defense of the infamous Tweed gang, and also to as
sert that seventy-five millions of Americans have not
yet become the personal property of any set of polit
ical schemers, be they exponents of ambition or
greed.^* And in view of the fact that the part
taken by lawyers in the conduct of pubhc affairs in
the United States is increasing at a geometrical rate
of progression, permit me to quote the famous lines
of Tacitus: Nec quidquam publicae mercis tam ve
nale fuit quam advocatorum perfidia.''^ Here is
Quaker evidence also: "Friend, I will do thee no
harm, but one of the ungodly, my solicitor, will put
thee in jail."
And since the meeting of the Tooley Street tailors
" Quemvis media erue turba :
Aut ob avaritiam, aut misera ambitione laborat.
— Horace, Sat. I, 4-25.
"Annales, XI, 5.
Qu'il n'est si mauvaise cause qui ne trouve son avocat. —
Rabelais, Pantagruel, III, 25. 129

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
there has been nothing, in the way of a resolution,
so comical as the action of the American Bar Asso
ciation towards the "Trusts." It is well known that
the "Trusts," through "collectivism," have seriously
diminished litigation; but it was a good thing to
have a stop put to the plague of lawyers in the United
States. At the time of the Revolution there was one
lawyer there to every i,ioo of the people; now there
is one to every 700, whereas in China — which the
missionaries are trying to convert — ^there is only one
to every 10,000. But Peter the Great looms up big
ger than ever for saying in regard to this parasite
class : "I have only two in all my dominions, and I
mean to hang one of them when I get home."
And now, to be what many lawyers value above
their reputation, viz., "brief": "George Dandin —
vous voila ajuste comme il faut." ^* Peregrinus.

Has Just Arrived in Paris.
To the Herald:
Having just arrived in Paris, I do not quite see
the purpose of your famous "Letter Column." I in
fer that it is a medium courteously offered by the
Herald for the expression of personal or political
views. So I will briefly say that the lucky new ap-
" MoUfere, George Dandin, Acte I, Sc. 9.
130

IN THE UNITED STATES
pointment to England can carry out Montesquieu's
wish: "Retirer son ame de la Presse." Mr. Jacob
Riis has evidently filled the mission to Paris. But
why should Italy have a remodelled Englishman —
Mr. "Airy" White? It may be well to observe — a
qui de droit — that all Americans are not "vulgar."
"Adven A."
Paris, December 29th.

The Perfect Diplomatist's " Vade Mecum."
Mr. Editor — ^As your "famous Letter Column"
may now be declared of "public utility," I feel sure
that, in view of the remaniement of the United
States Diplomatic service, you will permit the fol
lowing suggestions, so conducive to the dignity of
your country:
(i) An Ambassador, on being ushered into an
"august presence" should not, uninvited, "draw up"
a chair and sit down.
(2) An Ambassador should let a Monarch lead
the way in to dinner. Knowing people do not turn
their backs to the "concentrated dignity" of a realm.
(3) At a "State dinner" do not try to be "funny."
Jokes and "slang" should be left to Commercial
"drummers," or to lower strata like stock-brokers
and United States Senators. 131

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
(4) Do not ask a Queen how many servants she
keeps. A Queen is not, per se, a housekeeper. Be
sides, curiosity is a Boston trait.
(5) Avoid "gush." That is the "perquisite" of
one who, ex-officio, is higher.
(6) Study intellectual modesty. And remember
that, if the United States is "run by" the lawyers,
it is fast approaching the condition of a South
American Republic, where doctors have an equal
share in the misgovernment of their country.
"Impransus."
Paris, December 30, 1904.

A Conundrum, and a Poser.
Mr. Editor:
Two questions, please : Twenty-six years ago "a
leader of the New York Bar" said to medical
students: "Be honest; if you can't be honest, turn
Stock-broker." Was the advice followed ?
Where can I find this :
There never yet was human power
Which could evade, if unforgiven
The patient search and vigU long
Of him who treasures up a wrong.
"Un Coulissier."
Paris, January ist. 132

IN THE UNITED STATES
An Acephalan Suggestion.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — Now that Mr. Roosevelt, as Mr. Choate in
an after-dinner speech said, has been "unanimously"
elected, why not turn the Presidential term into one
for life, beginning at once with Mr. Roosevelt ? This
would avoid the turmoil of a four years' election;
and as the United States is now voluntarily and in
extricably committed to Protection — which, for the
masses, means wearing Mercerized cotton in winter
and being without flannels in summer — and as the
Democratic party, with its "better measures and
worse men," has disappeared as a factor in American
politics, such a change would give a certain consist
ency of policy to a government which, because
of party disturbance, has hitherto been soraewhat
acephalous. For events prove that the American
forefathers attempted the impossible. They tried to
give the impulse of cohesion to inter-independent
atoms, and Americans, with their astonishing quick
ness to grasp conclusions, must soon perceive the
irresistible force of M. de Tocqueville's dictum:
"That the natural result of Democracy is a highly
concentrated, enervating, but mild despotism."
"DiPLOMATICUS."
Paris. 133

POLITICAL CONDITIONS
A Tip on the Coming Race.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — Mr. Morley, speaking at Brechin, predicts
that by the end of this century the United States
will have eighty million negroes. Mr. Morley's
short stay in the country did not permit him to per
ceive one alarming feature of the American social
problem, viz., the union of the Jew and the negro.
Already, in the United States, there are vast num
bers of negroes with light hair and blue eyes. The
Anglo-Saxon should have no illusions. He is only
a "boarder" on the American continent. And a
combination of Jewish intellectual activity and negro
virility must produce a breed that will make it easy
to answer Alexander von Humboldt's question:
What will the American be after 500 years of so
many heterogeneous racial contributions ?
"A Sociologist."
Paris, January 20th.
Negroes Are Now Politicians.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — General Grant's opinion as to the future of
the negro in the United States, given by Mr. Sar-
toris, proves merely that General Grant belonged
to that large class of Americans "qui croient juger
134

IN THE UNITED STATES
parcequ'ils prononcent." " There are three facts
Americans must accept :
(i) The United States cannot rid itself of the
negro. For the Civil War made the negro not only
free but a "politician." And his role has now a mar
ketable value. In the last Presidential election ne
gro votes in Pennsylvania sold as high as $25 each.
(2) In the United States politics is business, and
business is pohtics. So the Jew is there to stay.
(3) The malarial character of the soil of the
United States is fatal to the Anglo-Saxon. The
gaunt, nervous American is even now supposed by
Europeans to live only on whiskey and quinine.
Whereas the negro is "ague proof." ^' And the
Ghetto and other milieux like it have left the Jew
impervious to dirt and impure air.
Therefore, the American of the future must be an
amalgam of the Jew and the negro. Q. E. D.
"A Sociologist."
Paris, January 27, 1905.
" Duclos, Preface, Histoire Secrfete des Rfegnes de Louis XV.
et de Louis XVI.
" King Lear, Act IV, Sc. 6.

135

SIR H. CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN
AND MR. VALLANDIGHAM.

From the Herald, February 4 1902.
Historical ParaUels.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — As my friends and I are unwilling to em
barrass the executive at a time of war, I have con
sented, after a conference with Ministers, to with
draw the amendment to the Address, dealing with
Mr. Seddon's protest against pro-Boer utterances,
but will you allow me, through your columns, to
show how strong a precedent there is for action. I
offer no apology for trespassing on your space, for
"the officers and men who are daily and nightly
risking their lives on the veldt look for the support
of their countrymen," aud the views of Abraham
Lincoln must be of interest.
In 1863, President Lincoln was cursed with a
similar "Stop the War" agitation, fomented by well-
meaning fanatics, and stimulated by political adven-
136

SIR H. CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN
turers, and, when he discovered that the utterances
of this faction were indeed prolonging the contest,
he gave them due warning to "keep their tongues in
order," and then, as this was ineffectual, had their
leader, a Member of Congress, arrested. This in
dividual was charged with "publicly expressing
sympathy for those in arms against the Government
of the United States, and declaring disloyal senti
ments and opinions for the object and purpose of
weakening the power of the Government in its ef
forts to suppress an unlawful rebellion."
He was found guilty, and finally, as the best way
of disposing of him, was handed over to the enemy,
who accepted him! I wonder if General Botha
would care to accept any of our pro-Boers? The
usual "monster meeting" was organized in protest,
and the audience being told that the question was
"whether this war is waged to put down rebellion at
the South or to destroy free institutions at the
North," passed sundry resolutions, and thereupon
President Lincoln came down into the arena. To
these New York Democrats Mr. Lincoln said :
"It is asserted, in substance, that Mr. Vallandig
ham was seized and tried 'for no other reason than
words addressed to a public meeting in criticism of
the course of administration and in condemnation of
the military orders of the general.'
137

SIR H. CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN
"Now, if there be no mistake about this ; if this
assertion is the truth and the whole truth ; if there
was no other reason for the arrest, then I concede
that the arrest was wrong.
"But the arrest, as I understand, was made for a
very different reason. Mr. Vallandigham avows his
hostility to the war on the part of the Union. . . .
He was not arrested because he was damaging the
political prospects of the Administration or the per
sonal interests of the commanding general, but be
cause he was damaging the army, upon the existence
of which the life of the nation depends. . . .
"Must I shoot a simple-minded soldier boy who
deserts, while I must not touch a hair of a wily agi
tator who induces him to desert ? . . If I be wrong
on this question of constitutional power, my error
lies in believing that certain proceedings are consti
tutional when, in cases of rebellion or invasion the
public safety requires them, which would not be con
stitutional when, in absence of rebellion or invasion,
the public safety does not require them. In other
words, that the Constitution is not in its application
in all respects the same in cases of rebellion or inva
sion involving the public safety, as it is in times of
profound peace and public security.
"The Constitution itself makes a distinction, and
I can no more be persuaded that the Government
138

AND MR. VALLANDIGHAM
can constitutionally take no strong measures in time
of rebellion because it can be shown that the same
could not be lawfully taken in times of peace, than I
can be persuaded that a particular drug is not good
medicine for a sick man because it can be shown to
not be good for a well one.
"Nor am I able to appreciate the danger appre
hended by the meeting, that the American people
will, by means of military arrests during the rebel
lion, lose the right of public discussion, the liberty
of speech and the press, the law of evidence, trial by
jury and 'Habeas Corpus' throughout the indefinite
peaceful future which I trust lies before them, any
more than I am able to believe that a man could con
tract so strong an appetite for emetics during tem
porary illness as to persist in feeding upon them
during the remainder of his healthful life.
"In giving the resolutions that earnest considera
tion which you request of me, I cannot overlook the
fact that the meeting speak as 'Democrats.' Nor can
I, with full respect for their known intelligence, and
the fairly presumed deliberation with which they
prepared their resolutions, be permitted to suppose
that this occurred by accident, or in any way other
than that they preferred to designate themselves
'Democrats' rather than 'American citizens.' In
this time of national peril, I would have preferred to
139

SIR H. CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN
meet you upon a level one step higher than any party
platform, because I am sure that from such more
elevated position we could do better battle for the
country we all love than we possibly can from those
lower ones where, from the force of habit, the preju
dices of the past and selfish hopes of the future, we
are sure to expend much of our ingenuity and
strength in finding fault with and aiming blows at
each other. . . ."
To the Ohio Democrats the President wrote as
follows: "Under a sense of responsibility more
weighty and enduring than any which is merely offi
cial, I solemnly declare my belief that this hindrance
of the military, including maiming and murder, is
due to the course in which Mr. Vallandigham has
been engaged in a greater degree than through any
other cause; and it is due to him personally in a
greater degree than to any other one man. These
things have been notoriously known to all, and of
course known to Mr. Vallandigham. Perhaps I
would not be wrong to say they originated with his
special friends and adherents. With perfect knowl
edge of them, he has frequently, if not constantly,
made speeches in Congress and before popular as
semblies. . . . It is known that the whole bur
den of his speeches has been to stir up men against
the prosecution of the war." 140

AND MR. VALLANDIGHAM
To how many of our pro-Boers will this "hin
drance of the military" apply ?
If I wanted another illustration I would point out
that Prince Bismarck used almost identical language
in October, 1870, on the arrest of Jacoby :
"In other words," said Bismarck, "he was one
of the forces that increased the difficulty of attaining
the object of the war, and had accordingly to be
rendered harmless. . . . Those who wield the
power of the State must exercise the rights and fulfil
the duties accorded to and imposed upon them for
the purpose of securing the object of the war, with
out regard to the distance from the actual scene
of warfare of the objects which require removal.
They are bound to prevent the occurrence of such
incidents as render the attainment of peace less
easy. "We are now carrying on a war for the purpose
of enforcing conditions which will hinder the enemy
from attacking us in future. Our opponents resist
these conditions, and will be greatly encouraged and
strengthened in their resistance by a declaration on
the part of Germans that these conditions are inex
pedient and unjust. . . .
"But the point is, what effect did they have in
Paris ? The effect there is such that similar demon
strations must be rendered impossible in future, and
141

SIR H. CAMPBELI^BANNERMAN
their instigator must accordingly be put out of
harm's way."
Great minds run in the same groove. President
Lincoln, possibly, strained the constitution, but his
tory admits that he was right to act as he did under
the circumstances.
Mr. Seddon, Mr. Barton and statesmen in Canada
have protested in sending fresh reinforcements that
but for pro-Boer utterances this war would have
been over, and it is a terrible reflection that, as a
party, the pro-Boers exist only in the old country.
"Oh, let them alone," is a stock argument. This
"let alone" policy may come to be the ruin of Great
Britain. Apathy and indifference and an incapacity
for going to the root of things are the bane of the
Old Country in more directions than one, and we
have lately been warned in a memorable speech at
the Guildhall that we have to "wake up." It is
abundantly clear that if we are to preserve our self-
respect and the respect of our colonial aUies, shortly
to became great nations, we must indeed wake up to
this sedition in our midst, an evil which has cost us
dear, and I beg your assistance. Sir, to draw atten
tion to this urgent question.
James Leslie Wanklyn.

House of Commons,
London, January 28, 1902.

142

AND MR. VALLANDIGHAM
Confidential.
To the Editor of the Herald:
I shall confess to a deep disappointment if the
Herald refuses to accept the following. The Her
ald will perceive that it has no political bearing ; that
it is simply the elucidation of a historical point and
is, moreover, a defense of that liberty of utterance
which is as necessary for a newspaper as it is for a
man. The assertion attributed to Mr. Gladstone was
made by him to one of my friends.

Refused by the Herald,
To the Editor of the Herald:
Mr. James Leslie Wanklyn's letter, in your issue
of yesterday, with all due permission, reminds one
of the dying Scotchman who, when the parson said,
"Let us pray," replied, "Don't waste any time, let's
argy." Briefly stated, Mr. Wanklyn's letter is a plea for
an annihilation of every Constitutional check in a
time of war ; and in support of his position he cites
the case of Vallandigham ; gives Mr. Lincoln's arbi
trary procedure as an axiomatic and universal law
and ends his argument with the self-comforting as-
1.43

SIR H. CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN
sertion that, "History admits that he (Lincoln) was
right to act as he did under the circumstances."
Without any wish on my part to follow Mr.
Wanklyn's example and indulge in ratiocination
pure and simple, will the Herald permit me to at
tempt an answer to what, if unchallenged, might
lead to a wrong impression and establish a species of
pernicious precedent?
I will agree with Mr. Wanklyn in this : That Mr.
Lincoln'" is now a historical character of the first
importance, one who has had such a potent infiuence
for good or evU upon the lives and fortunes of his
countrymen that he cannot any longer be belittled
by any reference to his personal appearance or traits,
a method to which General McClellan descended.
That, therefore, his public acts can be impartially
examined by the searcher after tmth, who will un
doubtedly say of Mr. Wanklyn, in the words of Tac
itus, what he can certainly say of me : "Sine gratia
aut ambitione, bonae tantum conscientiae pretio duce-
batur." »<•
Mr. Wanklyn will probably agree with me, that
Vallandigham, even if he was shielded by Constitu-
'• It is now urged that Mr. Lincoln — fadle princeps — ^by giv
ing the vote to the negro, debauched the baUot-box and com
mitted the "most stupendous poUtical blunder knovm to history "
(vide London Morning Post, February 20, 1905).
" De Vita Agricola, I.
144

AND MR. VALLANDIGHAM
tional provisions, was one who carried out to perfec
tion Lord Eldon's idea : "If I had to begin life again,
hang me, but I would be an agitator."
But here Mr. Wanklyn and I must part. Mr.
Wanklyn's argument falls to pieces without his
knowing it, and, if he will again permit, the Scotch
man is dead but, with the pertinacity of his race,
which has persisted until it has succeeded in sinking
its country's existence in the individuality of Eng
land, he still continues to "argy."
For, to justify his own country in doing what it is
admitted it can do without question, Mr. Wanklyn
appeals to my country which, in having done what
he commends, has virtually committed national sui
cide. To wit : Mr. Wanklyn is the subject of a govern
ment which need only consult expediency as its
guide, and which could send him to the block
to-morrow without violating any rights save those
"which God and Nature have put into his hands." '^
For, as Dr. Johnson said of 1688 : "Our revolution
" The Earl of Chatham in the House of Lords.
Extract from Le Temps, Paris, le 10 f^v., 1902 :
Le jugement rendu par le comiti judiciaire du conseil priv^,
c'est-^-dire en r^aJit^ par la voix pr^pond^rante du lord chanceUer,
juge et partie, a d'un coup soumis tous les sujets du roi Edouard,
oil qu'ils r&ident et sous quelque pretexte que ce soit, k la juri-
diction sommaire des conseils de guerre substitufe aux tribunaux
ordinaires et aux juges compftents. 145

SIR H. CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN
was necessary, but it broke our Constitution." '^
And it may surprise Mr. Wanklyn to know that no
less an authority than Mr. Gladstone has asserted
that the English government could at any time be
subverted by a stroke of the pen on the part of the
Sovereign and his Prime Minister.
Whereas, my country is supposed to be directed
in conformity with a written Constitution which
declares. Art. Ill, Sec. 3: "No person shall be
convicted of treason unless on the testimony of two
witnesses to the same overt act, etc." And, in exil
ing Mr. Vallandigham, Mr. Lincoln did not act like
a constitutional ruler, he acted like a despot ; to re
peat Dr. Johnson's words, he "broke the Constitu
tion." It is interesting in this connection to note
Lord Chatham's case. His lordship's language was
much more offensive to the ruling powers than Val
landigham's ; his action much more effective, as the
epoch was more illiberal, and yet he only succeeded
in disturbing Lord North's after-dinner naps. Dem
ocrats of to-day who are not office-seekers wish that
Vallandigham had accomplished as little !
If, then, Mr. Wanklyn's case is closed, the cir
cumstances permit a resort to the logic of facts.''
'' BosweU's Life of Johnson.
'' Atqui ipsa utiUtas, justi prope mater et sequi. — Horace,
Sat. I, 3, 98.
146

AND MR. VALLANDIGHAM
I suppose that Mr. Wanklyn will admit the force
of Herbert Spencer's dictum: "The end which the
statesman should keep in view as higher than all
other ends is the formation of character," and will
agree with Dr. Johnson that: "The end of govern
ment is to give every one his own." '*
If so, the point at last is clear : Did Mr. Lincoln's
expulsion of Vallandigham carry out the essential
object of his country's original polity which was to
perpetuate the principles embodied in d'Alembert's
definition of patriotism: "L'amour du bien public,
le desir de voir les hommes heureux ?" ''' And how
has his violation of the dicta of Herbert Spencer and
Dr. Johnson resulted? In other words, what was
the effect of Mr. Lincoln's action upon the character
and physical conditions of his countrymen ?
First, let me declare that — ^to paraphrase Prince
Bismarck's saying — "We, Americans, fear nobody,
much less facts." And every American worthy of
the name will say with Montaigne : "C'est aux serfs
de mentir et aux libres de dire verite." '"
And the facts are these : Mr. Lincoln, through
Vallandigham, destroyed all Constitutional opposi
tion, and changed a government which had formerly
been the weapon of common action into what it has
'* BosweU's Life of Johnson. " Eloge de Montesquieu.
3« Livre II.
147

SIR H. CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN
ever since continued to be, only the voice of one
party, to degenerate at last, and naturally, into a
plutocratic despotism (vide Mr. Depew's estimate
that "the United States government is to-day in the
hands of some 500 capitalists").
These were the results :
I. On character.
(a) Mr. Seward's "little bell." "With one stroke,
I send a prisoner to Fortress Monroe; with two
stokes, a prisoner to Fort Lafayette. Can the Queen
of England on her throne do as much ?" (vide Brit
ish Minister's report to his government).'' This
disgrace might have been avoided had Mr. Vallan
digham been politically existent.
(b) It is unpleasing to recall the notorious scan
dals in regard to supplies of "shoddy," rust-eaten
rifles, paper-soled boots, rotton-timbered steamers,
etc., etc. One well-known man (vide New York
papers) "returned" some $149,000 conscience
money. Mr. Vallandigham was exiled, can Mr.
Wanklyn name a single contractor pursued or even
molested ?
(c) "Carpet Bag" rule in the South. Here, civ
ilization kindly draws a veil.
(d) The Supreme Court. It is only necessary to
refer to General Grant's well-known "packing" to
" Also heading New York Evening Express, 1863.
148

AND MR. VALLANDIGHAM
secure a desired "Legal Tender" decision, and to
quote Mr. Sidney Webster's comment upon the re
cent Philippine case, "That it only served to recall
Lord Mansfield's famous advice: 'Give your de
cisions, never your reasons. Your decisions may be
right, your reasons are sure to be wrong.' "
II. On physical conditions.
The crowning product of Mr. Lincoln's action is
"McKinleyism." Mr. McKinley was the "head and
front" '* of a policy of Protection which now clothes
the masses of the United States in a compound of
"shoddy" and cotton, and that in the most inclement
of climates, with the result that the land is yearly
swept by pneumonia and kindred diseases. Mr.
McKinley was the protagonist of a tariff which, by
its propagation of monopolies, has so increased the
cost of living, that those who are capable of judging
know that, as regards the bien-etre '* of the common
people, the United States to-day stands lower than
Russia. That this is not the extreme view of a political
'« OtheUo, Act I, Sc. 3.
'° From a letter in the New York Times, February 4, 1902 :
I could fiU every column of the Times with instances of the
fearful discrepancy between the expense of living and the money
that can be earned. Is it any wonder that to those who suffer by
these conditions the constant boasts of our wonderful prosperity
seem almost a ghastly sarcasm?
149

SIR H. CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN
partisan the following extract from the London In
vestor's Review (November, 1901), wiU show:
"Crossing the Atlantic, what is the position in the
United States? Purely non-moral — one niight al
most say anti-moral — finance has never in any coun
try attempted such stupendous feats as in the United
States of North America. Sheltered behind a cus
toms tariff, in itself one of the most flagrant embodi
ments of political dishonesty the world now beholds,
groups of individuals have striven to monopolize for
their own interest, not merely the product of men's
industry, but the gifts and treasures of nature, the
unearned increment of future generations. And
they have succeeded in doing this to an extent which
has reduced the mass of the American people to a
state of pitiful slavery. And one day, in spite of
tariffs, of Legislatures, and Executive officials at
their beck and call, the small knot of ravishers of
men's lives, who seem to sway the interests of the
great American Republic as if they were their pri
vate business, wiU find that the moral laws of the
universe cannot be defied with impunity."
Bismarck's barbarous raethods "of enforcing con
ditions which will hinder the enemy from attacking
us in future" can be dismissed by citing the Eastern
conqueror who, according to Gibbon, cut off the right
hand of every laboring man. 150

AND MR. VALLANDIGHAM
Had the theory of crushing opposition always pre
vailed and been carried to its inevitable conclusion,
John Hampden would have died upon an unknown
gibbet, and Luther, unheard of, would have rotted in
some Inquisitor's cell. Leslie Chase.
Paris, February 5, 1902.

ISI

MR. RICHARD CROKER.

Refused by the Evening Post.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — It is strange to note how a deep national
shock is apt to numb even sensibilities the most
callous. There glided into the harbor yesterday a stately
ship carrying in its proud flanks the modem Veni,
Vidi, Vici.
But what must have been the indignation of the
noble craft at shores unfilled with the populace,
where not a babe was held aloft to "see great
Pompey pass" ! *"
Yet memory can supply other triumphs for the
potentate. When Admiral Dewey retumed from
that great battle, which — ^to paraphrase what Porson
said of Southey's Thalaba — "will be spoken of with
pride when Trafalgar is forgotten, but not until
then," it was decided to allot him a full measure of
*" Julius Csesar, Act I, Sc. i.
152

MR. RICHARD CROKER
civic adulation and the unfortunate sailor was forced
to shake Richard Croker by the hand.
At another time a great, if historic, family, find
ing it consonant with its traditions to entertain in
a "lordly" *^ way, gave a dinner to the "Boss," and
imagination fondly pictured at the top of the "guest
of honor's" "menoo" that beautiful quotation from
the Metropolitan cars : "$500 fine, etc."
Then comes "Richard Croker," by Alfred Henry
Lewis. This Erostratus of American literature
should stand high in the Hall of Fame, for he is the
first to offer his amazed countrymen the apotheosis
of garbage.*^
And Alfred Henry Lewis has given to New York
ers a novel interpretation of John Bright's famous
quotation :
"There is on earth a yet diviner thing.
Vile though it be, than Parliament or King."
Observer.
New York, September 15, 1901.
" Judges, V, 25.
"Judge Pennypacker's Eulogy of Quay (Harrisburg, Pa.,
March 22, 1905) reaches even a lower depth of political fawning.

153

MR. RICHARD CROKER
Refused by the Evening Post.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
It is not surprising that English exultation over
the result of the siege of Mafeking should find vent
in the following from the London Times: "Through
out the Empire it is instinctively felt that at Mafe
king we have the common man of the Empire, the
fundamental stuff of which it is built, with his back
to the wall, fighting an apparently hopeless battle
without ever losing hope, facing apparently over
whelming odds without a thought of surrender, bear
ing the extremity of privation without complaint,
holding his courage high in spite of deadly physical
weakness and disease, and at the long last coming out
proud, tenacious, unconquered, and unconquerable."
And the ordinary Englishman, with "his chest in
the air," may say with Juvenal : *'
E coelo descendit yyaSi atavrhv.
Of course the Englishman, educated at Oxford or
Cambridge — formerly nests of the "humanities,"
now "claqueurs" of Mr. Chamberlain's South Afri
can policy — can use Augustan diction, but " Lo," **
" Satires, XI, 27.
" "Lo."— Pope's Essay on Man, Ep. I, 99.
154

MR. RICHARD CROKER
the poor American, Schwablike, must content him
self with altering Bowdler's protege and say :
Look here upon that picture and on this."
At the time these enjoyable but somewhat inflated
lines appeared in the Times, Richard Croker, Es
quire, and Joseph Pulitzer, Esquire, were waging,
through the London press, a war of personalities,
each claiming to be an "American," and each indulge
ing in the tu quoque argument that the other was
"no gentleman."
It is true that Joseph Pulitzer's name goes down
to posterity linked with that of Washington and that
of Lafayette, because of the peregrinating statue in
the Place des Etats-Unis in Paris.
But to convey a full idea of the terrific nature of
the reciprocal accusations made, it is well to repeat
the famous description of a gentleman given in
the Chronicles of King Arthur : "And now, I dare
say," said Sir Ector, "that. Sir Launcelot, there thou
liest, thou were never matched of none earthly
knight's hands: and thou were the curtiest knight
that ever beare shield, and thou were the kindest
man that ever strooke with sword and thou were the
goodliest person that ever came among presse of
knights; and thou were the meekest man and the
« Hamlet, Act III, Sc. 4.

MR. RICHARD CROKER
gentlest that ever sate in hall among ladies and thou
were the sternest knight to thy mortal foe that ever
put spear in the rest."
No wonder that Schopenhauer said : "Le patriotis-
me, la plus sotte des passions, est la passion des
sots," for neither Mr. Croker nor Mr. Pulitzer has
as yet brought suit for libel.
Thank heaven. Dr. Johnson is no more! He
would have "defined" the "last refuge": Civis
Americanus sum. Observer.
Paris, 1900.

156

ADMIRAL DEWEY.

Admiral Dewey's Reward.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Rome honored a retuming conqueror with a tri
umph. England sometimes confers a dukedom, but it is
left to the United States to offer an attack of indi
gestion. When one considers that the fight at Manila con
sisted in hurling a fleet of secretly and carefully or
ganized ironclads upon a lot of half-stranded hulks,
there can be no doubt that it was the most important
naval conflict since "The Battle of the Kegs." **
And it is a logical carrying out of "The White
Man's Burden" " to compel the victor to swallow
"a one hundred dollar dinner." It only remains for
the band to play "See the conquering hero" eat.
History records only one other such celebration.
" A song of the American Revolution.
*' Rudyard Klipling.

ADMIRAL DEWEY
It was when Domitian marched to the Capitol with
hired slaves dressed as prisoners.*'
A Naturalized Patagonian.
Paris, May r6, 1899. From the Herald.
To the Editor of the Herald:
"The Patagonian is a savage of the lowest type.
in appearance he is repulsive, with large hands and
feet and protruding stomach. He is probably the
most difficult of the human family to civilize, and
rarely, if ever, gives up entirely his disgusting hab
its." — Mitchell's Geography.
The "Naturalized Patagonian" who writes letters
in the Herald, we see by the above quotation, has a
difiicult task to become fit to live among Christians.
Vermont.
Paris, May 17, 1899. To Vermont.
To the Editor of the Herald:
"Vermont," since his arrival in the "ville-lumiere,"
has evidently, from the incoherence of his allusion,
not followed the example of that other "Christian,"
who wrote home "that he was so sorry he had not
seen Paris before he had had 'change of heart.' "
*' Nobilitatus cladibus mutuis Dacus. — Tacitus, Hist. I, 50.
158

ADMIRAL DEWEY
The brutal and wholesale slaughter of the Fili
pinos by order of a President acting without any
known authority reveals a lower depth of moral deg
radation than ever geographer described. And a
people who, without comment or surprise on the part
of the rest of the country, could organize "excursion
trains" (vide New York papers) "to see the heart
and liver torn out of a captured negro," no longer
possess the qualities that make a nation, and have
sunk to the level of a social problem of a certain
size and complexity.
A Naturalized Patagonian.
Paris, May, 1899.

159

MR. ANDREW CARNEGIE.

To the Editor of the Herald:
Mr. Andrew Carnegie having, through protection,
made great masses of unreflecting voters — a nation,
in fact — tributary to his Pittsburg works, and there
by accumulated 200 millions, asserts that "the man
who dies rich is disgraced." According to the Temps
Mr. Carnegie, sixty years old, and the husband of a
young wife, advises young men to marry women
older than themselves.
Mr. Carnegie has written a book, "Triumphant
Democracy," although his grand capacity must have
shown him the truth of Mr. Depew's estimate "that
the United States Government is to-day in the hands
of some five hundred capitalists."
With a change of words, Mr. Carnegie is like
Lord Macaulay's famous Judge Impey, "rich, talka
tive, and happy."*" Free Trade.
Paris, February 8, 1901.
"Essay, Warren Hastings.
160

MR. ANDREW CARNEGIE
Mr. Carnegie and Marriage.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Mr. Carnegie's somewhat Delphic utterance as to
marriage recalls General Scott's "hasty plate of
soup." As people must have weighty reasons at
election times it was properly asked: "What was
'hasty' — the candidate, the plate or the soup ?" Mr.
Carnegie only increases doubts already created by
Rabelais and Punch.^" Bachelor.
Paris, February 16, i9or.

Refused by the Evening Post.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — ^A letter in one of the papers has intimated
that it was strange that Mr. Carnegie, in giving so
much money for purposes of enlightenment, had ig
nored the University of Columbia.
Without suggesting what seems to free traders
only fair, namely, that Mr. Carnegie should pay
into the United States Treasury the greater part of
his huge fortune — ^boldly taken, according to them,
out of the pockets of the people through the corrupt
legislation engendered by protection — ^yet it is not
*° Point doncques ne vous mariez, respondit Pantagruel. — ^Pan
tagruel, III, chap. 9.
Punch's advice — "Don't." 161

MR. ANDREW CARNEGIE
surprising that Mr. Carnegie should hesitate to fa
vor financially an institution which, under its mod
ern tutelage and with an oft-remunerated patriot as
the President of the Association of its Alumni, has
resolved itself into what is little more than a Re
publican Primary.
And Indignation should find comfort in Juvenal's
reflection :
Rarus enim ferme sensus communis in ilia
Fortuna."
An Alumnus of Columbia College.
Pine HiU, August 8, 1901.

Should AU Stop at Home.
To the Editor of the Herald:
It is somewhat of a painful shock for those Amer
icans who, hypnotized by the enchanting life of
Paris, can say with Jean-Jacques:
Salve, fatis mihi debita tellus;
Hic domus, haec patria est,
to learn from Mr. Choate's recent Lotos Club speech
that they are not "intelligent" if they "remain
abroad, etc., etc."
Mr. Choate must have been the man who made
Dingley put a duty on eggs "because it was a shame
" Satires, VIII, 73.
162

MR. ANDREW CARNEGIE
to have the bright young American fowl come into
competition with the worn-out hen of Europe."
At the same dinner, Mr. Carnegie, with his 200
millions — ^the American prototype of Oliver Crom
well, viz., the Great Protected — again lauded the
land of civil and political equality.
Mr. Choate and Mr. Carnegie are evidently both
imitating the king who wished he had been present
at the Creation, for he "would have given some very
useful advice." "^ An Emigrant.
Paris, January, 1902.

" Observation Qui Coule de Source."
To the Editor of the Herald:
Mr. Schwab's widely-repeated slur on college-
bred men seems at last to be recognized as "une ob
servation qui coule de source," and for flashy ego
tism it should be coupled with Mr. Carnegie's pro
found condensation of political economy : "The man
who dies rich is disgraced."
For the prudish and prurient New York Times of
January i6th says : "It was the folly of the proceed
ing, quite as much as its wickedness or its bad taste,
that shocked," etc., etc. (It must be true, as stated,
that "Sunday-School" Wanamaker runs the Times. )
'' Fontenelle, Entretiens sur la Plurality des Mondes.
163

MR. ANDREW CARNEGIE
"Perhaps if Mr. Schwab had more of the education
which it is his habit to decry as useless for men of
affairs ... he would not have been obliged to
offend and alarm so large a fraction of his fellow-
countrymen." In Mr. Schwab's defense, it may be said that, since
the Spanish war, the people of the United States are
as easily "shocked" as was the modest young lady
who refused to take her bath because there was a re
ligious newspaper. The Christian Observer, lying on
the table. An ex-Gambler.
Paris, January 26, 1902.

Refused by the Herald.
To the Editor of the Herald:
President Roosevelt's telegram to Mr. Low, ignor
ing Pennsylvania, must have given satisfaction, if
negative, to Mr. Quay.
From New York papers it appears that Mr. R. B.
Roosevelt says that his relative's party is not
"moral" and the President's dispatch declares that
R. B.'s is not "decent." Mr. Low acclaims Mr. Platt
as "the presiding genius of the Republican party."
Opponents of Mr. Platt assert that he knows more
about "every man's price" than any "statesman"
since Walpole.
164

MR. ANDREW CARNEGIE
The government is about "to proceed against the
trusts" ; but the tariff, "mother of trusts," according
to Mr. Havemeyer, is to be untouched.
Of course, if all the members of Congress impli
cated in the Sugar Trust were to be imprisoned, jus
tice, to be effective, need only lock the two bodies in
the Capitol and write Sing Sing over the door.
The American masses, political slaves, paralyzed
by the corrupt system of protection, are clothed in
"shoddy" or worse, and that, too, in the most incle
ment of climates, so that pneumonia and tuberculosis
are more rife in proportion than even in fog-cursed
England or underfed France.
Where did Mr. Frick intend to live when, accord
ing to the Herald, in speaking of Mr. Carnegie, he
said, "I only deal with honest men" ?
All this puzzles me. And, as the due de Gesvres,
a gouty old man of eighty, said, in being carried to
his bride by four lackeys : Je vole a vous."'
Paris, November 20, 1901. Z,OILE.

Perhaps He Is— Hope You're Not.
To the Editor of the Herald:
What does the following from Le Siecle of Sep
tember 28th mean?
" Bertin, Les Mariages dans 1' Ancienne Socift^ Franjaise.
i6s

MR. ANDREW CARNEGIE
UNE FAUSSE NOUVELLE.
Londres, 27 septembre. — La nouvelle lancfe par la "Press
Association" que M. Andr^ Carnegie s'ftait rendu k Balmoral
pour rendre visite au roi Edouard n'est pas exacte. Le roi n'a
point, comme on I'a annonc^ par consequent, fait visiter lui-
meme le pare et les r&erves du chiteau.
As the King — to the amazement of the world —
has already, once "followed in to dinner, with a full
view of his host's back" (vide New York Times),
perhaps the Chef du Protocole is angry ! But if a Di
vinity no longer hedges in a king,"* notices could be
put up around Balmoral : Cave Canem.
Geneve, le 29 septembre. "DiPLOMATICUS."

With So Much " Wmd and Water " Look Out for
Storms.
Editor Herald:
Speaking of "Steel," it is reported here that Mr.
Carnegie says that the bonds represent the total
value of the whole thing ; that the Preferred stock is
"water," and the Common is "wind" ; and that the
men back of it "couldn't, to-day, float a cake of white
soap." The "floaters" will probably assert that,
since the "return" visit to Balmoral, the King will
not now give Mr. Carnegie the "Thistle," "for fear
he would eat it." "Another Stockholder."
Dinard, August 23d.
" Divinity — doth hedge a king. — Hamlet, Act IV Sc. 5.
166

MR. ANDREW CARNEGIE
« Homines Plus in Alieno Negotis Videre, Quam in
Sue."
To the Editor of the Herald:
In view of the "Steel" revelations in the Tele
graph, Mr. Carnegie's libraries should all bear the
inscription from Juvenal : "Quid enim salvis infa
mia nummis I" ''*^ which, liberally translated, may
read : If the other man dies rich you are disgraced.
"Wall Street."
Paris, August isth. "•Satires, I, 48.

167

MR. ANDREW D. WHITE.

From the Herald.
EVOLUTION AND REVOLUTION.
Lecture by Mr. Andrew D. White, United States
Ambassador to Germany.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Last evening the two sitting-rooms in the house
of Mr. Griscom, 24 Kleiststrasse, were crowded with
a gathering of ladies and gentlemen, mostly Ameri
cans. They had come to hear a lecture by the
United States Ambassador, Mr. White, entitled,
"Evolution versus Revolution."
As every one knows, the American Ambassador
in Berlin is a skilled lecturer, and those who heard
him last night listened to an expert discoursing upon
an involved subject, of which he was thorough mas
ter. In England he took Burke and Pitt as models
of apostles of evolution, but George IIL, doggedly
Conservative, and sundry Americans fiercely Radi
cal, were apostles of revolution, and revolutionary
methods prevailed. Bloodshed was the result.
168

MR. ANDREW D. WHITE
In France he took Turgot, who strove to develop
free institutions by a natural process. By vast com
prehensive political measures he sought to develop
an environment which should flt the people gradually
and safely for their rights and for the discharge of
their duties. But in spite of his work and that of
such men as Bailly, Lafayette, and Mirabeau, who
exerted themselves in behalf of progress by evolu
tion, there was progress by catastrophe, massacres,
revolutions, wars. American Civil War.
In the American Civil War, only one man thought
out a great statesmanlike measure; that man was
Henry Clay. But he was successfully opposed. The
result was that slavery was, indeed, abolished, but
instead of by peaceful evolution, by the most fearful
of modem revolutions, at the cost of $10,000,000,-
000 and nearly a million of lives.
In Russia the emancipation of the serfs was a
great evolutionary triumph without cost of life, but,
on the -other hand, there has been a reaction since,
and Russia seems to be doomed to revolutionary ad
vance. In the first half of the present century it had be
come the fashion to glorify revolution in the United
States, and there was a steady glorification of the
169

MR. ANDREW D. WHITE
revolutionary struggle with England. What was
best in it, the great constructive part by men like
Washington, FrankUn, Adams, Hamilton, Madison,
and Marshall, was comparatively little thought of.
What was most orated about in ten thousand little
hamlets was the destructive part. This glorification
of revolution North and South helped to promote the
Civil War. Prussia's Evolution.
Prussia, after having been crushed by Napoleon,
began a thorough evolution of moral strength. Prus
sia began that evolution manfully, nobly, quietly.
The moral system of Kant was evolved — the cate
gorical imperative — the ethical idea of duty, "thou
shalt, thou shalt not." It took hold of the foremost
men in the land, it was infused into poetry, specially
into the drama by Schiller, into song by Arndt; it
was infused into prose and especially into his ad
dresses to the German nation by Fichte. From scores
of professorial chairs, from hundreds of pulpits,
from myriads of newspapers it was implanted in the
thoughts and translated into the actions of millions
of men and women. It gave the old men the pa
triotic fire of youth, it gave the young men the stead
iness of veterans, it gave the women the fortitude of
Spartan mothers and sisters. The result was the
gradual abolition of the serf system in Prussia by
170

MR. ANDREW D. WHITE
Stein, the creation of a nation trained for war by
Schamhorst, the physical hardening and strength
ening of tlie people by Jahn, and at last the great up
rising, the war of freedom of 1813, the battles of
Leipsic and Waterloo, the lifting up of Prussia, the
coming of the Emperor William and Bismarck. And
so was evolved the German Empire.
Prussia has advanced by a steady evolution of the
moral sense of her people, a moral sense taking
shape in earnest thought, in steady work, in heroism,
in self-sacrifice, so that she has presented one of the
most glorious chapters in the history of human
progress. A Rolling Stone.
Berlin, March 7, 1899.

Reply to " Rolling Stone."
To the Editor of the Herald:
"Rolling Stone's" letter in to-day's Herald, judg
ing by what he says of Henry Clay's part in the
American Civil War, must have been written by one
whose relatives are "still voting for Andrew Jack
son." Henry Clay died on June 29, 1852, but if it is a
fact that in 1861 he gave advice which, if followed,
would have saved so much money (money first!)
and so many lives, he can be said to be another re-
171

MR. ANDREW D. WHITE
markable instance of "one that being dead yet speak
eth." "
"Rolling Stone" has also the hardihood to mention
Mirabeau when speaking of Prussia's evolution, for
getting that it was Mirabeau who said, "La guerre
est I'industrie nationale de la Prusse," and when he
refers to Prussia's "moral sense" he ignores the his
toric reply of Sir Hugh Elliott to Frederick IL, who
had said to him, "Who is this Hyder Ali of whom
I hear so much?" "Sire," replied Elliott, "c'est un
vieillard, qui, ayant passe sa vie a piller ses voisins,
radote." °'
Such an astounding flow of words over Prussia's
"human progress" leads to the suspicion that "Roll
ing Stone" must have put the pages of a dictionary
into a meat-chopper and then turned the handle.
A Naturalized Patagonian.
March rr, 1899.

Extracts from a speech made by Mr. Andrew D.
White at The Hague on July 4, 1899, and reprinted
in the London Times, July 5, 1899.
*******
"Cynics, skeptics, zealots, pessimists, pseudo-phi
losophers, sublimely unreal thinkers," etc., etc.
*******
" Hebrews XI, 4. " M6noires de Metternich.
172

MR. ANDREW D. WHITE
"Cynics, skeptics, zealots, pessimists, pseudo-phi
losophers, sublimely unreal thinkers," etc., etc.

Is It Treason ?
To the Editor of the Herald:
The London Times reports that Messrs. McKinley
and Roosevelt have issued a manifesto "denouncing
as traitors" those who oppose their policy, a mani
festo which shows profound ignorance of what the
Constitution defines as treason.^^
In Europe, imitators of Rabelais and Carlyle use
the epithets "cynics," "skeptics," "zealots," "pessi
mists," "pseudo-philosophers," "sublimely unreal
thinkers." Why not keep to the simpler Democratic
term? It tallies much better with what Talleyrand
said when told that Lord Castlereagh was the only
one in a large assembly who did not wear any dec
orations : "Ma foi, c'est bien distingue ! "
Querist.
Paris, July rr, 1899.
The following in reference to Prussia '* was writ-
" Art. Ill, Sec. in, r.
'* Si tu vois le jour oil la Prusse, telle qu'elle est maintenant,
sera an^antie, &ris ces mots sur ma tombe; Pfere, r^jouis-toi, la
Prusse n'est plus? Et j'en tressaillerai de joie sous terre. —
Herwegh.
173

MR. ANDREW D. WHITE
fen by Gouverneur Morris, United States Minister to
France in 1794. It is possible that Mr. Andrew D.
White, in his studies on the origin of the German
Empire, may not have seen it :
"Le caractere de ce peuple, forme par une succes
sion de princes rapaces, est tourne a I'usurpation."
An Internationalist.
Paris.

174

UNITED STATES PASSPORTS.

To the Evening Post,
Passports and Protection.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — ^Your paper of March 28th publishes a
Washington letter headed "United States Pass
ports," in which you seem to approve of the action
of our Department of State in the matter of pass
ports. It appears that to travel in Spain a passport — of
any date — is necessary, and that to travel in Turkey
a fresh one is obligatory for each journey. The log
ical conclusion is, therefore, that a United States cit
izen cannot travel in either of these two countries
except by permission of a United States official. As
our Constitution is silent in regard to the places an
American must visit and the spots where he must
dwell, do you not think that you are — in this article
— blending yourself to the prevailing theory of pro
tection, which, by its attempt to regulate prices,
wishes to prescribe what we must eat, wear, and use ?
175

UNITED STATES PASSPORTS
The issuance of a' passport is a simple notarial act,
and to refuse one unless coupled with the irrelevant
condition, that the holder must return to the United
States within two years, is equivalent to refusing a
certificate of marriage unless the applicant promises
to get a divorce during a corresponding period.
Your correspondent juggles with words when he
says the Secretary "may," not "shall." For govern
ment is a weapon of conimon action and the men we
elect to office are our representatives and not our
rulers, and as such are called upon to perform offi
cial acts and not to indulge in freaks of individual
or party caprice. Unplaced American.
Paris, April r8, 1892.

From the Herald.
U. S. PASSPORT REGULATIONS.
Mr. D. J. Hill, Assistant Secretary of State, States
the Conditions Under Which They Are Issued.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The following extracts from a letter written by
the Assistant Secretary of State will doubtless inter
est many readers of the Herald. . . .
F. Clarke.
Paris, November 22, 1898. 176

UNITED STATES PASSPORTS
"The granting of passports by this Government
is, under Section 4,075 of the Revised Statutes of
the United States, permissive and not mandatory.
The relation of the citizen to the State is reciprocal,
embracing the duties of the individual, no less than
his rights, and the best evidence of the intention of
an applicant for a passport to discharge the duties
of a good citizen is to make the United States his
home ; the next best is to return to the United States
within a reasonable time.
"(Signed) David J. Hill.
"Assistant Secietary."
"Washington, November 4, 1898."

American Passports.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The explanation of the Assistant Secretary of
State in regard to passports, coupled with his defini
tion of what constitutes a "good" citizen, recalls the
commonly accepted English idea of Mr. Webster —
a great American statesman who passed his leisure
moments in "composing" a dictionary. Because one
has been born upon United States soil does it neces
sarily follow that he must forfeit all claim to the
usages established by civilization ?
Americans have driven out Chinamen as laborers,
but why do they continue to pay them fat salaries in
177

UNITED STATES PASSPORTS
order to induce them to remain as Government offi
cials ?
From what has been set forth by this phrase-lov
ing functionary it is evident that our great progeni
tors would have been refused United States pass
ports, for, according to Milton —
"The world was all before them, where to choose." "
A Naturalized Patagonian.
Paris, November 24, r898.

R&um^ of a letter in the Herald, not kept.
"Americans who demand passports other than
those now issued by the State Department should
become naturalized Englishmen and take their share
of the burden of the British Empire," etc., etc.
(Signed) F. Clarke.
American Passports.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Mr. F. Clarke's intelligent suggestion that Ameri
cans who desire serviceable passports should become
Englishmen finds its counterpart in the decision of
the poor man who made up his mind that the next
time he was bom he was going to have a rich father.
A Naturalized Patagonian.
Saint-Wenc, February 21, 1899.
" Paradise Lost, XII, 646.
178

UNITED STATES PASSPORTS
The Value of Passports.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The frequent discussions in regard to passports
lead one to reconsider the nature of the document in
question. A passport can be said to be only a paper of identi
fication which, owing to the construction of modern
society, contributes in certain circumstances to the
convenience of a citizen. In other words, it is noth
ing but a notarial act and does not, per se, confer
immunity from crime nor secure the protection of
one's Government. The latter is a question of a na
tion's own dignity.
The needlessly vexatious decision that holds is in
reality, therefore, only the personal opinion of offi
cials who are strangely persistent in asserting what
constitutes a "good" citizen at a time when their
efforts would be better directed in procuring sound
meat and pure water for the military."" Doubtless
the statutes have again been "revised," so as to de
fine the status of the Filipinos in regard to the pass
port regulations. For the moment there would not
appear to be any pressing need of an immediate dec
laration of policy.
A Naturalized Patagonian.
February 6, 1899.
"' Note sufferings of the American troops in Cuba.
179

UNITED STATES PASSPORTS
From the Herald.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Much of the indignation expressed in communica
tions to the Herald regarding the regulations for
the issuance of United States passports seems to
come from people who have a very bad conception
of the "rights of citizens," or from people who are
not deserving of those precious documents.
Would these complainers repeal all regulations
for the issuance of passports, so that "Tom, Dick,
and Harry" could demand them by simply swagger
ing into the State Department or an Embassy or Le
gation, without proof of identity, nativity, citizen
ship or allegiance to the flag ? Or would they have
it fixed so that they could demand and receive the
documents by writing postal cards?
*******
Who ever heard of a foreigner residing in Amer
ica who cared a rap about a passport issued by his
native country? Who ever heard of an American
who wanted to be naturalized in a European coun
try? The proper thing for Americans who prefer Eu
rope to their native land to do is to become natural
ized citizens of the countries in which they spend
i8o

UNITED STATES PASSPORTS
their lives ; become citizens, and perform their mili
tary and other duties, just as Europeans do who
come to America to live. Home American.
Washington's Birthday, 1899.

American Passports.
To the Editor of the Herald:
"Home American's" letter in your issue of to-day
serves only to indicate his familiarity with the com
monplace jargon usually employed by the "profes
sional" officeholder.
The Herald's generous treatment of correspond
ents can be the only reason why, with its "already
too congested columns," it should have given so
much space to one who apparently would like to
prove that the United States is unwilling or unable
to accord recognition to its own citizens — a preroga
tive jealously maintained by all nations that stand in
the front rank of civilization.
But "Home American's" reasoning is like that of
the old woman who affirmed that "the moon was as
light as a cork."
Thanks to the extension of "regulations" and
sumptuary laws, the American "good" citizen has
become a species of serf, whose rights have been
transformed into favors that are at the mercy of any
181

UNITED STATES PASSPORTS
autocratic official who may wish to display his pom
pous ignorance.*^ A Naturalized Patagonian.
February 24, 1899.
" From the London Times, February 24, 1902 :
Washington, February 22d.
Mr. Hay has refused to grant passports to Dr. Thomas, of
Chicago, and his wife, who vrish to visit South Africa for the pur
pose of distributing money for the use of the inmates of the con
centration camps. Mr. Hay gave as the reaison for this refusal
that Mr. Roosevelt would object.

182

THE DREYFUS CASE.

Refused by the Evening Post.
To the Editor of the Evemng Post:
Sir,— The letter headed "The Talk of Paris" in
your issue of February 27th is of a nature to cause
a grave misapprehension in the minds of your read
ers as to an apparent indifference on the part of the
French people in regard to the Dreyfus affair. And,
while not questioning your correspondent's good
faith, one feels that he himself, in not attempting to
put the matter in its proper light, is becoming an ac
complice in what may possibly turn out to be the
most repugnant crime of modern history.
It is not possible with a mot of the witty Lemaitre
to stifle a cause that has been taken up by "300,000,"
which number more than represents the just propor
tion of right thinkers "^ in a nation the size of the
French, and to which number M. Lemaitre's recent
actions and words show that he no longer belongs.
'2 Nunquam enim recta mens vertitur. — Seneca, De Vita
Beata, VII. 183

THE DREYFUS CASE
Of the French people it can be admitted that a
large number, in fact, the majority, does not concern
itself with the "Affaire." This majority may be said
to consist of the proletariat and of what may be
called the "pingrerie," the former absorbed in daily
toil, the latter in their soul's one occupation, namely,
niggardly hoarding.
With the exception, then, of the "300,000," it
cannot be denied that all that enter into the mental
life of France, to wit, the Army and Navy, the
church and the 800,000 functionaries, are not only
not indifferent but are all, all combined as one man
in an angry and dogged pursuit of one suffering
prisoner; a pursuit which would be incredible if it
were not so ghastly. And it is safe to say that never
since the beginning of the Christian era has one un
important, and, perhaps, uninteresting personality
been the object of such an array of hostile force "'
as is shown, in this case, by all that there is of power
in France except its conscience.
The strength of this statement may be felt by
recalling Victor Hugo's comparison of John Brcwn
to Christ. John Brown had to lose his life but not
"' In proof of the strength of this hostile sentiment, because of
its unanimity, contrast what even Cassar says of the factional
quality of the French temperament: In Gallia, non solum in
omnibus civitatibus atque in omnibus pagis partibusque, sed
psene etiam in singulis domibus factiones sunt. — Comm. VI, 11.
184

THE DREYFUS CASE
to combat, and he a condemned and confined felon,
all that religious hate, disappointed ambition and
fear of exposure could inspire in the minds of a na
tion of enemies.
Your correspondent speaks of "a surface charac
ter." Why, there is hardly an official that has
emerged from the affair who has not been entangled
in such a maze of contradictions, eavesdroppings,
forgeries, suicides, and even accusations of murder,
that his political future is gone forever.
But from this wreck of reputations there rises one
man, Picquart, who has hazarded fortune, fame, and
life itself, who has suffered imprisonment and every
species of obloquy in defence of what he felt to be
the truth, a man who would do honor to any age or
nation and who may be called the Luther of France.
"A surface character," indeed! There is not a
prosperous or influential journal in France that does
not for the moment make the "affaire" its raison
d'etre. On the one side, the Libre Parole, edited
by the non-descript Drumont, and whose columns
were recently reeking with frantic appeals for "an
other Saint Bartholomew," and the catholic and
monarchical Gazette de France, that advocated "pure
and undefiled" assassination in the open street ; and
on the other side, the Siecle, that proposes for itself
the principles that the Evening Post seems to avow,
185

THE DREYFUS CASE
and are what Herbert Spencer called "the economic
aggregation of the whole human race."
As to the "wearing out," one has only to read to
know that the whole of civilization is stirred to its
depths. There is not a foreign newspaper in the
world, comprising the United States and Europe,
with the possible exception of one in Russia, that
has not in this matter held France up to scorn, to
pity or to punishment ; and such a sense of horror
has been imbibed in the heart of universal man that,
if what Voltaire calls "an atom upon the earth's sur
face" "^ should be proved to be innocent and should
be denied freedom, it is no exaggeration to say that
there will come a crusade against the integrity of
French soil that will find an explanation in two
words : Picquart and Dreyfus.
No, Monsieur Lemaitre, if there are on one side
only "300,000," you cannot deny that, on the other,
there is a host trying to give actuality to the fierce
arraignment : "moitie singes et moitie tigres." °°
Observer.
Paris, March 15, 1899.
" Un petit atome de boue — Zadig.
" Voltaire k d'Alembert, Lettre 190.

186

THE DREYFUS CASE
From the Herald, August, 1899.
Lettre Ouverte a M. Marcel Prevost.
A Monsieur Marcel Prevost:
Apres avoir lu votre article d'hier en tete du
Herald, je sens le besoin de mettre en garde les
Americains contre votre parti-pris.
Cette genereuse nation prend fait et cause pour
Dreyfus: on ne peut Ten blamer, en presence de
I'imbroglio dans lequel nous nous debattons. En
cela, les Americains sont entraines par leur presse et
leur instinct inne de justice et d'humanite.
Mais que vous, un Franqais, vous veniez jeter de
I'huile sur le feu et denigrer votre pays, votre dra-
peau, les chefs de votre armee, dans un journal etran
ger: c'est une position dans laquelle vous n'auriez
pas dti vous mettre. Coppee, I'ardent patriote, ne
vous suit pas dans cette voie.
A vous lire, il n'y a que trois hommes respecta
bles dans toute "I'affaire" : Dreyfus (a tout seigneur,
tout honneur!), Picquart et Bertulus.
La veuve Henry n'est qu'une vile cabotine 1
Vos "Lettres de Femmes," si finement etudiees,
ne seraient-elles pas de vous ?
Un proces est ouvert, et, comme tous les bons
Frangais, votre devoir est d'attendre et de vous in-
cliner devant le verdict. 187

THE DREYFUS CASE
Si les Americains traduisaient leur general Alger
devant une cour-martiale pour lui demander un
compte severe des souffrances de leurs courageux
soldats a Cuba, que penseraient-ils si vous veniez
les en blamer? lis diraient avec raison que vous
vous melez de ce qui ne vous regarde pas. Je vous
garantie aussi que vous ne verriez jamais, dans ce
cas, un Americain denigrer son pays a la premiere
page d'un journal franqais.
Pendant la guerre hispano-americaine, alors que
toute la presse franqaise etait hostile aux Etats-Unis,
qui combattaient pour I'humanite, avez-vous pris
votre bonne plume de Tolede pour defendre les op-
primes ? Je crois, avec une certaine fierte avoir ete
un des rares Frangais a protester, a cette meme
place (20 et 25 mai, 1898), contre I'attitude imbecUe
de la presse parisienne a cette epoque.
Agreez I'assurance de mes sentiments les plus dis-
tinguees. Ch. M. Marchand.

To the Sihcle.
M. Marcel Provost et le Herald.
On nous prie d'inserer la lettre suivante a laquelle
le Herald (Paris Edition) a refuse I'hospitalite de
ses colonnes: 188

THE DREYFUS CASE
A Monsieur le Redacteur du Herald:
Monsieur Ch.-M. Marchand, dans une lettre a
votre journal, prend a partie M. Marcel Prevost de
ce que M. Prevost communique au Herald ses im
pressions personnelles a propos du proces de Rennes.
En meme temps, M. Marchand declare que la
presse des deux pays a ete, en diverses occasions,
mal "aiguiUee" et puisque, d'apres Napoleon P"^, la
presse est la mesure de I'esprit d'un peuple, il s'en-
suit que M. Marchand, a son propre dire, possede,
lui-meme, un fonds d'intelligence plus grand que
celui des deux nations en question, le France et les
Etats-Unis. M. Marchand, en outre, prend sur lui de "classer"
la guerre hispano-americaine : c'est assez de besogne
et qu'il laisse en paix les Americains qui veulent
goiiter les comptes-rendus desormais classiques de
M. Prevost, car il y a aux Etats-Unis, aussi bien
qu'en France, des hommes qui sont, comme dit Re-
nan, "anterieurs et superieurs au citoyen" °' et qui
savent parfaitement bien que si de tels comptes-ren
dus provoquent de pareils commentaires c'est parce
que: Hceret lateri letalis arundo.^''
Agreez, Monsieur, etc.
Dinard, le 29 aoflt, 1899. Un AmERICAIN.
•» Vie de J&us. " JEneid, IV, 73.
189

THE DREYFUS CASE
Refused by the Siecle and the Aurore,
La Justice Militaire.
Traduit d'un Journal Americain:
Le Juge. Vous etes le negre — ^je dis le temoin.
Le Temoin. Oui, mon Colonel.
Le Juge. Eh bien ! Continuez de I'etre — c'est a
dire, la verite, toute la verite, rien que la verite.
Le Temoin. Oui, mon Colonel.
Le Juge. Nom, prenom, etat?
Le Temoin. Oui, mon Colonel. Sorti d'un mau
vais repaire, je suis fils posthume et postiche d'un
boheme. Mon etat est necessiteux et je suis forte-
ment enclin a egorger les Frangais.
Le Juge. Vous voulez dire ecorcher le frangais.
Le Temoin. Oui, mon Colonel, je ne fais que
singer le preux qui m'assure qu'avec une poignee
de Prussiennes pourries il pourrait purger Paris.
Le Juge. Le noble cceur I
Le Temoin. Merci, mon General. A "son retour
des manoeuvres," il viendra vous chanter.
Le Juge. Vous voulez dire remercier. Faut tou
jours se servir des mots qui rappellent les honnetes
gens. Le Temoin, Oui, mon General. La bataille de
Patay 
Le Juge. Paty du Clam? 190

THE DREYFUS CASE
Le Temoin. Non, mon General. Je parle de
I'autre bonhomme qui trompette tellement ses pro-
pres faits contre les Allemands dans cette bataille
que les coUegiens assourdis le nomment "le sacre
cor." Le Juge. Au fait, au fait.
Le Temoin. Oui, mon General. J'ai a vous dire
qu'un balayeur de rue en donnant, en face de
I'Opera, une poignee de main a un Monsieur, tres
bien mis, lui a jobarde que l'on avait trie dans le
tombereau d'un vidangeur un bout de papier sur
lequel fut ecrabouille le fait que sa grand'mere,
faible d'esprit, avait gueule dans un crachemer que
tout est sauve fors I'honneur.*'*
Le Juge. Assez! Assez! L'heure de I'absinthe
sonne. Que tout le monde soit condamne.
Exeunt Omnes.
"' Tout est perdu fors I'honneur. — ^Frangois I" k sa mfere.

191

JAY GOULD AND THE
DREYFUS CASE.

From the Petit Journal, July 6, 1899.
Deux Lettres.
Le Prince de Monaco a adresse a Mme. Dreyfus
I'inconvenante lettre suivante:
Madame,
Vous avez defendu I'honneur de votre mari avec
une vaillance admirable, et la justice triomphante
vous apporte une reparation diie.
Pour aider les honnetes gens a vous faire oublier
tant de douleurs et tant de souffrances, j 'invite votre
mari a venir chez moi, au chateau de Marchais, des
que I'ceuvre sainte de la justice sera accomplie.
La presence d'un martyr, vers qui la conscience de
I'humanite tournait son angoisse, honorera ma mai
son. Parmi les sympathies qui vont a vous, madame, il
n'y en a pas de plus sincere ni de plus respectueuse
que la mienne. Albert,
Prince de Monaco.
192

JAY GOULD AND THE DREYFUS CASE
Le chateau de Marchais, residence d'automne du
prince de Monaco, est dans le departement de
I'Aisne, a vingt kilometres de Laon.
Le signataire de I'etrange lettre ci-dessus a regu
de M. Boni de Castellane, depute, la lettre que voici :
Monseigneur,
Vous venez d'ecrire a Mme. Dreyfus une lettre
qui provoque I'indignation des bons Frangais, non
pas parce que vous vous adressez a une femme mal
heureuse (ce sentiment serait respectable), mais
parce que vous vous immiscez dans les affaires qui ne
regardent en rien Votre Altesse Serenissime.
Si c'est comme souverain etranger que vous croyez
pouvoir influencer des officiers frangais dans la
grave decision qu'ils vont prendre, je vous prie de
remarquer que la partie n'est pas egale, car aucun
de nous ne voudrait demander raison a un prince en
tutelle. Peut-etre, Monseigneur, etes-vous parent par al
Hance du capitaine Dreyfus, mais alors, il est pre
mature de triompher.
Si c'est, au contraire, comme protecteur de maison
de jeu, permettez-moi, Monseigneur, de vous dire
que Dreyfus lui-meme se passerait de votre interet.
Veuillez, Monseigneur, agreer I'assurance des sen-
193

JAY GOULD AND THE DREYFUS CASE
timents avec lesquels j'ai I'honneirr d'etre, de Votre
Altesse Serenissime, le tres humble serviteur.
Comte Boni de Castellane,
Depute.

From the Siecle, July 13, 1899.
Dans sa lettre, M. Boni de Castellane dit avec
horreur :
"Ce que je tiens a affirmer, c'est que je n'ai ja
mais souscrit a la ligue cosmopolite des droits de
I'homme." Quand M. Boni de Castellane a epouse la fiUe de
Jay Gould, le plus tare des financiers americains,
n'a-t-il point fait du cosmopolitisme ? et n'est-ce point
une partie de cet argent cosmopolite qu'il met au
service des factions qui veulent detruire la Repub-
lique ?

Jay Gould. Dinard, r5 juillet
Monsieur le Redacteur du Siecle:
Puisque le Siecle parle de "Jay Gould, le plus tare
des financiers americains," peut-etre ce ne serait
pas mal a propos de citer un mot qui, du vivant de
ce banquier vereux, courait a son egard a la Bourse
de New- York. 194

JAY GOULD AND THE DREYFUS CASE
On le nommait le chevalier d'industrie des Etats-
Unis, a telles enseignes, qu'un cambrioleur s'etant
introduit une fois chez lui, pendant qu'il cherchait
oil commencer. Jay Gould, en pere de famille pre-
voyant, lui deroba sa "pince-monseigneur."
Agreez, etc.,
Un Americain.

Refused by the Siicle.
Monsieur le Directeur du Siecle:
En depit de ce que dit le Sikle, a propos de
I'affaire de Rodays-Castellane — "que c'etait un vrai
guet-apens" — l'on peut constater que les moeurs
s'ameliorent quand meme.
Car c'est de I'histoire acquise que Jay Gould, gene
d'un associe de tannerie, s'en debarassa d'une fagon
qui ne se deerit guere par la locution — mourir de sa
belle mort.
Les fiUes de ce dernier se trouverent sans le sou,
mais, grace a cette manceuvre — quoique plus tard le
Major Selover jetat I'admirable homme dans un
sous-sol de Wall Street, a cause d'une autre "escro-
querie" — les affaires de Jay Gould prirent un tel
elan qu'il est parvenu a pouvoir poser devant I'his
toire comme beau-pere de M. Boni de Castellane.
Les eglises puUulent en certaines families. Dans
195

JAY GOULD AND THE DREYFUS CASE
I'Etat de New- York l'on en a erige une a la me
moire de celui que le Sihle a appele "le plus tare des
financiers americains," mais l'on a oublie de faire
inscrire sur le fronton les paroles de Juvenal:
Quid enim salvis infamia nummis ? "
Un Americain.
Paris, f^vrier, igor. •« Satires, I, 48.

196

WALL STREET AND
THE LEGION OF HONOR.

United States and Decorations.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The list of "decorations" in to-day's Herald marks
another step in the act of progression through which
the United States is gradually lifting itself out of
the "slough" "^ of democratic simplicity.
A letter in the Herald once advocated the wearing
of a single-breasted frock coat. Soon every self-re
specting American will be advised to adopt the
"abandoned habits" '" of royalty, and all successful
stock jobbers will think that they, too, can indulge in
the pleasure of making morganatic alliances.
Paris, January 19, igor. A DEMOCRAT.

An American Makes Some Remarks on the Decora
tions Recently Given by the French Govemment.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Do foreigners imagine that Americans have no
sense of humor when they propose a list of distinc-
" Bunyan, Pilgrim's Progress.
'" Christopher North, Noctes Ambrosianae.
197

WALL STREET AND THE
tions, as given in the Herald, and that our country
men do not know that every Frenchman of common-
sense carries an umbrella when there is a question of
a "shower of decorations" ? '^
Mr. J. Pierpont Morgan, according to your paper,
has been made an "officer of the Legion of Honor"
because of his "exhibit of American precious stones"
at the Paris Exposition.'"
One of Mr. Morgan's associates, Mr. James J.
Hill (I quote the Herald of New York City), "car
ries carelessly in his pockets great handfuls of beau
tiful jewels, rare glittering gems," etc., etc. The
law of proportion should, therefore, make "Jim" a
"grand cross."
Another associate, Mr. E. H. Harriman, takes a
whole cargo of Professors to Alaska, but has to wait
until they "thresh out" their reports. The "Legion
of Honor" cannot have Mr. Harriman. Philology
has "mark'd him for her own." '*
It is to be hoped that ostentation has not so gan-
" Un Franfais — un monsieur generalement decor^ qui ignore
la geographie. — French paper.
"II y a des choses humiliantes dans I'espfece humaine ; mais
il n'y en a point de plus honteuse que de voir continuellement les
arts jugfe par des Midas. — Voltaire k d'Alembert, Lettre 178.
" Gray's Elegy — Epitaph.
Dans tout pays ou le culte de Plutus I'emporte sur celui de
Minerve, il faut s'attendre k trouver des bourses enfl&s et des
tStes vides. — Frederic II. k Voltaire, Lettre 233.
198

LEGION OF HONOR
grened the American body politic that there can be
found men willing to aid in establishing a nobility
of the check-book, and that the men of note on your
list will decline the proffered temptation.
If they have need of courage, let them remember
Frederick the Great's decision: "Les titres ne sont
que les decorations des sots; les grands hommes
n'ont besoin que de leurs noms." "
Paris, January 19, 1901. An AMERICAN.

Is This the First Indication of that Time When
" They ShaU Beat Their Swords into Plough
shares and Their Spears into Pruning Hooks " ?
To the Editor of the Herald:
Will the Herald permit a little moralizing — as
well as enthusiasm — over Mr. Morgan's colossal
achievement ?
That a private individual should virtually assume
control of England's maritime superiority and then
quietly give half of it back ! Such a result could not
be accomplished through war, were the world to be
drenched with blood and misery for fifty years.
What a comment on Captain Mahan's theories, Mr.
Chamberlain's Imperial Policy, and Lord Salis
bury's South African "Security" !
'* Frederic II. k Voltaire, Lettre 206.
199

WALL STREET AND THE
All honor to Mr. Morgan! For the force of his
personality has pushed the earth on a long way to
ward Herbert Spencer's goal: the economic aggre
gation of the whole human race. And if, as the
London Times asserts, Mr. Morgan can "guarantee
the food supplies of the United Kingdom for the
next twenty years," and perhaps indefinitely, he
should rank with James Watt and Richard Cobden
as a benefactor of his kind.
St. Servan. "An INTERNATIONALIST."

"They that Stand High Have Mighty Blasts to
Shake Them; and if They FaU, They Dash
Themselves to Pieces."
Editor Herald:
Thanks for your courteous heading. If one may
be a Babbist or a Christian Scientist, why can't a
"Boot-Black" have a mission? "Un clou chasse
I'autre." I only propose to reform the world. So,
don't get "tired" too early. Old Mayer-Anselme's
mind was diluted. Here are four rules for making
money, far better than all his twelve : Be ( i ) Lead
ing Lay Delegate to the Protestant Episcopal Con
ventions of the United States; (2) a Trustee of
Columbia University ; '*» (3) Promoter of a Steel
'*• This letter, with one "to be read at a full meeting of the
Board of Trustees," and protesting, as an "Alumnus," against
200

LEGION OF HONOR
Trust; and, most important of all, (4) be born in
Connecticut. The reason for No. 4 is the follow
ing from the will of Gouverneur Morris, United
States Minister to France in 1794 : "It is my desire
that my son Gouverneur may have the best education
that is to be had in England or America, but my ex
press will and direction are that he never be sent for
that purpose to the colony of Connecticut, least he
should imbibe in his youth that low craft and low
cunning so incident to the people of that country,
which is so interwoven in their constitution that all
their acts cannot disguise it from the world ; though
many of them, under the sanctified garb of religion,
have endeavored to impose themselves on the world
as honest men." "A Boot-Black."
Paris. Keeping Out of the Grave.
Editor Herald:
1 read in your paper about their success in "put
ting up" a church, so can't you persuade Christian
Scientists to take hold of Steel Common. I've ten
shares I was influenced to buy by a large-hearted
capitalist who has now left Paris. And Christmas
Mr. Morgan's appointment, was sent to Columbia Umversity.
President Butler acknowledged its receipt. The Board made
no reply. 201

WALL STREET AND THE
is coming. But for your amusing "Letter Column"
I'd be in my grave. Yours to polish,
"A Boot-Black."
Paris, December.

" Who's To Be President ? "
Editor of the Herald:
"Barney O'Brian" is coverin' his tracks. Six
weeks ago the Herald told him to buy American
stocks. Look at 'em now. All up; even Steel
Common; bankers using it for wall-paper. I see
U. S. Congress is coming to Paris. I've a lot of
second-hand Lindley-Murrays and a fine collection
of French swear-words. Besides, it's awful chic in
France to chiquer. Cherchez la femme. Who's to
be President? Anna Nias or Hanna? Yours to
polish,
"A Boot-Black."
Lutetia, December.

One of the Roads to Social Eminence.
Editor of the Herald:
I'm getting up a syndicate to buy a Daily Mail
every day, for you're a "gobemouche." Do you
really think my friends "Pip," "Jim" and "Ed"
would now ask Teddy for a promise except he put
it on papier timbre ? Tell Samuel Adams Jefferson
202

LEGION OF HONOR
Jackson if he wishes to be a good plumber to study
the Herald. It lets nothing "leak out." Now
here's some news for you. "Hard times" have
closed "850 theatres" in the U. S. ; half the shop
keepers in Newport are ruined, so many rich people
went away without settling up, which recalls clever
Mr. Choate's speech about a N. Y. society celebrity
— ^that she has risen to her present social eminence
on a pile of unpaid bills.
Yours to polish,
Lutetia, December 12th. "A Boot-Black."

" Big Chief " Devery's Opinion.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Morning Post (Sept. 28) says that three
"great New York financiers" are going to "smash
things" so that "America's uncrowned King," who
has been strictly carrying out Mr. McKinley's pol
icy, shall not make experiments in government on
his own initiative for four years more. Can't the
French Government be persuaded to send Madame
Humbert to the United States to start a school of
financial morality? For the world may think ex-
Chief Devery right after all : "There ain't been an
honest man born for 300 years."
Paris. "A Disgusted Stockholder."
203

WALL STREET AND THE
What the PubUc Are Bora For.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Philadelphia Inquirer reports that in twelve
months Wall Street has inflicted on the American
people a loss of 2,000 million dollars. "The public
are stuck again," said a broker to Jim Fisk. "Idiot,"
replied Fisk, "what were they born for?" Madame
Humbert's financial genius has been overrated. She
took twenty years to scrape up a paltry twenty mil
lions. It is not surprising that she has not been
decorated. She should go to New York, get a di
vorce, make a morganatic marriage, and she will do
better hereafter. And Alexander the Great was
"green" enough to shed crockerdile (sic) tears be
cause he foresaw the fate of the Shipbuilding Trust.
"Impransus."
Paris, December.

Doing " Stunts " in the Deep, Deep Hole.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Some surprise has been expressed over the gigan
tic losses infiicted on the American public by Wall
Street bankers. A little reflection would show that
these losses are the logical result of the hysterical
state of mind produced by what Mr. Phelps (former
United States Minister to Great Britain) called "the
204

LEGION OF HONOR
cowardly Spanish War" (New York Herald, March
29, 1898). When the Spanish fleet was approach
ing the United States as fast as rotten hulls and per
forated boilers would permit, American capitalists
were seen madly rushing their securities into the in
terior for safety. And Bishop Lawrence ("Life of
Roger Wolcott," page 168) states that even the
stout-hearted Bostonians "rented safe deposit vaults
as far inland as Worcester."
Americans should have allowed the Spaniards to
capture their paper treasures. Spain and not the
American people would then have been punished for
the war. And ruined English and Amsterdam
houses would not now be saying apropos of the
United States : "Le gouvernement est canaiUe et le
peuple est bete." "Un Coulissier."
Paris.

Where Some of the Lost MiUions WiU Be Found.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Matin asserts that Mr. Pierpont Morgan has
bought an estate in England, where he intends to
live. John Law went to Venice. But, so many
capitaUsts, so many minds. And the recent drop in
stocks in New York led to a significant interchange
of views between the two sons of a deceased Wall
205

WALL STREET AND THE
Street celebrity. "Eddy," said the elder, looking at
the ticker, "there's two mUhons gone to  " (a
place not generally mentioned in polite society).
"George," replied the younger, "don't worry ; father
will get it all."
Paris, November 8th. "An Ex-Gambler."

Religious Tendencies and the Steel Tmst.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Mr. John D. Rockefeller, N. Y. papers state, has
made 300 millions in the "drop" in stocks; and it
may interest vast numbers of the Herald's readers,
who hold Steel stocks, to know that the New York
Times is giving details of the religious tendencies
of Mr. Pierpont Morgan and Mr. Rockefeller, the
leading promoters of the Juggernaut Steel Trust.
Mr. Morgan, the Times says, is very fond of Sunday
evening singing, his favorite being the well-known
hymn : "I Love to Steal Awhile Away." Let Mr.
Rockefeller tell his own story ; but Mr. Rockefeller
is a Baptist and not a Shaker, as one might infer
from this in the New York Times of October 6,
1903. Paris. "An Ex-Gambler."
(enclosure.)
Cleveland, October sth. — At the close of the service at the
Euclid Avenue Baptist Church Sunday, John D. Rockefeller,
206

LEGION OF HONOR
approaching the pastor, Dr. Eaton, said : " You know, I was born
in Richford, N. Y. There was no religion in Richford. When
I was eight years old I moved to a town made up largely of God
fearing people. That was a revelation to me. I shudder to
think what I should have been if I had remained in Richford all
my life 1 "

" There Are Judges in Berlin."
To the Editor of the Herald:
A press despatch from New York says: "If the
rules of law that were applied to Mr. Wright could
be enforced here, some prominent Americans would
feel very uncomfortable." Perhaps one can now
understand why the original directors of the United
States Steel Corporation have not brought a suit
for libel against the Morning Post, which in
October last, under the signature of its Washington
correspondent, Mr. A. Maurice Low, charged these
same directors with "dishonesty" in the formation
of the giant trust. "There are judges in Berlin" ;
there are judges in England. Do American "finan
cial magnates" fear there may also be judges in
America ? Or is the United States no longer a part
of the human conscience, where one must say:
"Plate sin with gold and the strong lance of justice
hurtless breaks !" ''^
Paris, January 28th. "A STOCKHOLDER."
" King Lear, Act IV, Sc. 6.
207

WALL STREET AND THE
A CoUocation.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Will you publish a letter that does not advance an
opinion, that does not draw a conclusion and that
is simply a collocation of facts ? Bishop Henry C.
Potter, of New York, in his book, "The East of
To-day and To-morrow," says : "This book is dedi
cated to John Pierpont Morgan, whose constructive
genius, which upbuilds and never pulls down, has
indicated the tasks which await Western civilization
in Eastern fields." The Morning Post, speaking of
the last report of the "United States Steel Trust,"
says : "Part of the decrease in the eamings may be
due to the decision not to take into account the
profits on the sales of materials from one subsidiary
company to another." At the time the company's
accounts were "constructed" in the original way.
Steel Common sold at 40. It is now 11. In clos
ing the "Steel Bond Operation," the company re
ceived 13 miUion dollars, for which it paid over
6 millions, or 50 per cent, for the money. The N. Y.
Evening Post described this as "pecuUar finance."
Jim Fisk used to say to his lawyer: "Can I do all
this and keep out of jail ?" And one remembers the
London street incident : "Let him off," said a "finan
cial magnate" to a policeman who had arrested a
208

LEGION OF HONOR
pickpocket for stealing the "great man's" handker
chief. "We all have to begin small."
A Disgusted Stockholder.
Paris, April lo, 1904.

A Return to Old Methods.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald's arguments in favor of a "return to
old methods" are none too strong, in view of the
fact that the present system in the United States
has developed an irresponsible President and a type
as well, or rather a whole genus, called a "get-rich-
quick promoter." Here are a few facts, alas, only
too well known.
In 1901 there was formed a combination of most
of the iron concerns in the United States. By
means of widely spread magazine and newspaper
articles, it was made known that those the Ameri
can people "delighteth to honor" '"^ were among the
sponsors — ^John D. Rockefeller, "the greatest or
ganizing brain in the business world"; Marshall
Field, "the third richest man in America" ; Abram
S. Hewitt, "father of the workingman"; William
Earl Dodge, "philanthropist." It was asserted that
iron was the basis of all prosperity, and, "to insure
greater stability of investment," that the company
"Esther, VI, 7.
209

WALL STREET AND THE
owned 90 per cent, of all the ore lands in the coun
try, etc., etc.
The "Infant Industry," conceived in prosperity,
was born amid success and weaned on enthusiasm.
Instead of 100 millions, the profits, the first year,
were "120 millions." And investors felt they could
"sleep on both ears," even if they were long ones.
But prospective profits began to trouble the com
pany's conscience. Three millions were gratui
tously added to the company's pay-rolls, and Mr.
Perkins, chairman of the finance committee, "only
34, but one of nature's mathematicians," said : "You
know what that means."
The Common stock was then 40. It is now 12, and
unfortunate stockholders think that time has sup
plied additional information. But the stings of con
science still continued; and the company's laborers
were again favored — this time, with Preferred stock
at 82, now 60 ; and Mr. Perkins, the Florence Night
ingale of toil, nearly "lost his health" in perfecting
a system to diminish still further the company's
profits for the benefit of its workmen. Then it was
recorded that Mr. Astor, the Moses of American in
vestors, held 5,000 shares of the Common, and that
Mr. Pierpont Morgan had turned his thoughts long
enough from the MSS. of Milton to secure 7,000 of
the same. 210

LEGION OF HONOR
Now for the reality. It is now known that the
"Trust" paid Mr. Carnegie 300 millions for a prop
erty which, two years before, he had offered for 1 50
millions ; that other properties, whose outside value
was a million each, were "put in" at 10 millions
apiece; that, instead of an income, the company
started with a floating debt of 25 millions ; and, that
while its shares were being "digested," the com
pany's accounts were "constructed" with "subsidi
ary" profits, and by neglecting "wear and tear";
with the result that the whole operation has con
sisted in transferring the modest fortunes of a vast
army of small investors to the builders of "palatial
residences" in New York City.
Can a country hold together where "the best and
highest" ''"' are so utterly devoid of all sense of moral
responsibility toward their fellow-men?
"A Stockholder."
Paris, August 2r. " Dr. Johnson. — Boswell.

211

MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN.

A Few Remarks Signed "An American," but Which
Read Like an Irishman's Tirade.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald some twenty-seven years ago an
nounced to an astonished world that, from corre
spondence found in a "recently opened" Egyptian
tomb, it was proved beyond doubt that Mrs. Poti
phar had been grievously maligned, and that the
garment, which the snickering Joseph produced as
a proof of his conduct, had been carefully dropped
before he entered the estimable lady's boudoir.
However, the same Joseph has always been asso
ciated with the term "modesty," but, since Mr.
Chamberlain's last speech on Imperialism, it is to
be feared that the connection must be severed.
That Germany and England should pursue — not
a common — but what Lord Salisbury, that master
of the English language, calls a "mutual" object,
must surprise no one. "lis s'entendent comme deux
larrons en foire." 212

MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN
But does Mr. Chamberlain seriously think he can
beguile Americans with his platitudes ? If ever that
little island, which Michelet describes as lying on
the map like a shark, with its mouth pointed toward
the Continent as if to devour it,'^ should, by reason
of the rapidly accumulating hostility of the rest of
the world, disappear, the gentleman says that British
policy will be perpetuated by the American cousin.
As Mr. Chamberlain is fond of quotations, let him
recall what Dr. Johnson said to Hannah More:
"That she should remember what her flattery was
worth before she attempted to choke him with it." ^°
Americans are now, to their sorrow, learning in
the Philippines what Imperialism really is. They
also know that, thanks to Imperialism, England con
trols India in the same way in which the negro min
strel comically said he held his enemy down — with
his nose firmly inserted between the fellow's teeth —
and that to-day Ireland is as full of "rough, rug-
headed kern" *" as in the time of Richard the Sec
ond. Let Mr. Chamberlain keep his verbosity for his
own "shop-keeping" *^ countrymen. If he thinks he
can persuade them that man is not the product
of soil and climate, but simply designed by his
'* Histoke de France. " Boswell's Life of Johnson.
*"Act II, Sc. 2. "Napoleon.
213

MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN
Creator to serve as a buyer of English merchandise,
why it is their own affair. But if one wiU consult
the leading journals of the United States he will
find many and significant references to what Na
poleon also said of Metternich, "That he was almost
a statesman, because he was such a first-class liar." '^
Paris, October 28, 1900. An AMERICAN.

The Voice of the Mugwump.
To the Editor of the Herald:
If the Herald writes any more "Cleveland" arti
cles, it will incur the adverse criticisms of the Hon.
Joseph Chamberlain. Disraeli, when asked to ex
plain his success near the Throne, said: "Flattery
by the shovelful." Mr. Chamberlain is evidently
following the same plan in regard to Americans.
Every one in the United States with any intelli
gence — and this latter term comprises the whole
country except the New York Sun — knows that the
Spanish war was precipitated by nameless "yellow
journals" ; but the honorable gentleman says it was
undertaken "for justice and humanity," and it only
remains to ask if he is as "well posted" on the Trans
vaal question.
Paris, 1900. A Doubter.
" Memoires de Mme. de Rdmusat.
214

MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN
Different Kinds of Josephs.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Thank heaven, Mr. Chamberlain has made a
speech without gushing over the "American cousin" !
and one need not think of General Porter's famous
retort to Mr. Depew: "Put one of his speeches in
the slot and up comes your dinner."
We once had a Joseph of our own in New York
city. He was a "bunco-steerer," and his sobriquet
was "Hungry Joe."
He is now in Heaven. Time will do the same
thing for poor old England. A joint epitaph might
read : "Nothing in his life became him like the leav
ing it." *^
An American.
Paris, October 30, i90r.

England's Misfortunes.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Carlyle, speaking of Disraeli, asked: "How long
will England let this jumping- jack tread on her
naked belly?"
And with the heart-breaking slaughter of brave
men on both sides in South Africa one asks : How
"Macbeth, Act I, Sc. 4.
215

MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN
long will the England of John Hampden and Wil
berforce rest under the lash of this pinchbeck imi
tation of the Duke of Alva, the bloodless Chamber
lain?
A New York Dutchman.
Paris, November ¦i, 1901.

Mr. Chamberlain and the Times.
The leader on Mr. Chamberlain in the London
Times of to-day is easily understood when it is ex
plained that the paper in question is the recognized
organ of what is called the "City," a general term
which embraces that part of a community described
by Fielding : "As usurers, brokers and other thieves
of this kind — or that money, which is the common
mistress of all cheats." **
Then again, it is well known that the Times —
although, on the authority of Cardinal Manning, its
leaders are written by undergraduates — ^is owned
and controUed by a faction, according to Juvenal : °'
Non monstrare vias eadem nisi sacra colenti,
QuEesitum ad fontem solos deducere verpos.
The vile damnum *® of Tacitus.
One need only, therefore, contrast the bald asser-
"Tom Jones. *' Satires, XIV, 103.
»« Annales, II, 85.
216

MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN
tions of the Times that "the City represents the
country at large," that "Mr. Chamberlain is at this
moment the most popular and the most trusced man
in England," that "he, more than any other man,
stands for Imperial unity and consolidation," with
the declaration of John Stuart MiU : "The greatness
of England is now all collective ; individually smaU,
we only appear capable of anything great by our
habit of combining; and with this our moral and
religious philanthropists are perfectly contented.
But it was men of another stamp than this that made
England what it has been; and men of another
stamp will be needed to prevent its decline." *^
An Internationalist.
Paris, February 14, 1902.

Le Temps (February 19, 1902) gave the follow
ing extract from a letter written by the Field-
Marshal, Sir Neville Chamberlain, in reference to
the South African War:
"Cependant, je suis incapable de renoncer a mon
opinion sur les causes qui ont provoque les hostilites.
Je cloue au mat mon pavilion. Je suis tout a fait
indifferent a ce qu'en penseront mes compatriotes."
Field-Marshal Sir Neville Chamberlain fell per-
" John Stuart Mill, Liberty.
217

MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN
forated with wounds on three fields of battle, only
at the last to be mobbed in England by the "Bir
mingham" faction.
The London Times fails to state if the soldier
ever repeated to the politician Junius' apostrophe to
the Duke of Bedford: "A name" honored, "till it
was yours." **

Mr. Chamberlain's PoUcy for England.
To the Herald:
Mr. Lane, in "Patriotism under Three Flags,"
gives two instances of newspaper serfdom, viz., the
letter of Herbert Spencer suppressed by the N. Y.
Tribune, and the South African war protest of
Field-Marshal Sir Neville Chamberlain, which a
"great London daily" emasculated.
A letter giving Gen. Woodford's cablegram to
Madrid : "If Spain wishes peace she can have it in
three hours and the United States will be generous,"
published in the Paris Herald and dated February
14, 1901, was also sent to other leading papers in the
United States. Not one of them — not even except
ing the ordinarily fearless Evening Post, was inde
pendent enough to print it.
But this is a "comble." The Morning Post has
*' Letter 23.
218

MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN
rejected the following comment on Mr. Chamber
lain's policy, viz., an epitaph in a New England
graveyard : I was well, would be better, took medi
cine, grew sick and died.
Paris. Impransus.
To the Editor of the Morning Post:
Sir, — It is somewhat of a surprise to the world
at large that regarded the Boer War as a grand
manifestation of English character and physical en
durance, to learn from the letter of "P. S." in your
issue of August 14th, that the English people of
to-day are in a "degenerate, boneless, toothless, dis
eased, frail and feeble condition."
But in view of "P. S.'s" typewriting fluency of
utterance and of Mr. Arthur Kitson's phrase that
the United States have prospered "in spite of Pro
tection," will you permit an outsider — one who is a
firm partisan of Herbert Spencer's idea — "the eco
nomic aggregation of the whole human race" — ^to
call attention to the political immorality and the
misery that Protection — ^the logical outcome of
"P. S.'s" school of thought — has caused in the
United States; which elements of immorality and
misery exuberance, such as "P. S." exhibits, could
not be considered capable of appreciating.
It is hardly necessary to dwell on the immorality
219

MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN
point of view. Mr. Winston ChurchUl's scarcely
veiled references in the House of Commons to the
"lobbying" in the United States Congress are well
understood by those who, familiar with the Ameri
can Press, know that there is not a leading journal
in the United States that does not at times refer to
Congress as a collection of men many of whom
"have their ears set in the palms of their hands."
Then as to the misery. Visit any town of even
considerable size in the United States and try to find
a piece of stuff made of wool. Thanks to Protec
tion you can get only a compound of "shoddy" and
cotton. And this in the most inclement of climates,
where it is often lOO degrees F. in the shade in sum
mer and zero in winter, and where consequently
good woolens are a prime necessity.
It was hard lines for "P. S." that in the column
next to his sentence "Your progress during the last
thirty years has been one of decay and dissolution"
you should have given the "Trade of the Empire,
1890-1900.'^ However, when it comes to "gambling in food"
facts are powerless, and one ignores what Lecky
wrote: "That increase of taxation is a correspond
ing restriction of liberty." Yours, etc.,
St. Servan, France, August 15, 1903. L. C.
220

MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN
Alas! Chamberlain's Not the Only One.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Thanks to the Herald for informing us that Mr.
Chamberlain has at last become a "bore." And yet
he has created the most laughable situation in mod
ern politics; for everybody in England is rushing
into print, gravely discussing his plan of developing
a people by interfering with its food.
A Western farmer would have said that Mr.
Chamberlain was trying to get over a fence by pull
ing on his boot-straps. "Peregrinus."
Paris, August 19th.

He Thinks Chamberlain's Career Is Ended.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Now that Mr. Chamberlain's fiscal policy has, like
the traditional rocket, come down as a stick, will
you permit a frequently favored correspondent to
give a resume of the ending of the departed states
man's political career: He has insulted Russia and
France by his irony, the United States with his
friendship; he has buried 25,000 good Englishmen
in South Africa; he has compromised the moral
status of England, and by his length of stay in office
221

MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN
has lent additional force to Goethe's dictum : "Der
Englander ist eigentlich ohne Intelligenz."
"A New York Dutchman."
Paris, September rgth.

To the Editor of the Morning Post:
Sir, — Mr. B. H. Thwaite, in your issue of the 23d
of September, would seem to ask Americans, who
have sufficiently called attention to the political im
morality caused by Protection in the United States,
to stop and consider the financial advantages that
this system may confer. Does Mr. Thwaite not
realize that Protection has annihilated the basis of
American civil polity, namely, equality before the
law, and that as a consequence the United States
are now on the verge of anarchy, or, as one of your
contemporaries puts it, "a convulsion"? Here are
a few facts that cannot be ignored. Woolen manu
facturers in the United States are now making over
coats wholly of cotton, which Congress refuses to
have stamped as "shoddy." Labor is now summon
ing the United States to dismiss a foreman printer
in its employment. The assassination and attempted
assassinations of Presidents are a feature too sad
to dwell on. Such is the total want of confidence
on the part of European and other investors in the
development of American enterprises that at present
222

MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN
prices many American securities yield from lo to 23
per cent, and no "buyers." And Americans, who
are present sufferers from the political, commercial
and moral effects produced by Protection, may say
of England — if she abandons Peel for Chamber
lain — "the dog has returned to its vomit." *°
Yours, etc.,
L. C.
St. Servan, France, September 2Sth.

Seven Dukes Now Hang Breathless Upon
His Words.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Republicans of every kind, French or American,
must read with deep satisfaction to-day's leader in
the Matin, "Un Roi Fin-de-Siecle." And one re
calls the prehistoric words of Mr. Chamberlain:
"I hold, and very few intelligent men do not" now
hold, that the best form of government for a free
and enlightened people is that of a republic, and
that is a form of government to which the nations
of Europe are surely, and not very slowly, tending.
I am inclined to think that Jack Cade was an ill-
used and much misunderstood gentleman, who hap
pened to have sympathized with the poor and the
"Proverbs, XXVI, 11.
223

MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN
oppressed, and who therefore was made the mark
for the malignant hatred of the aristocratic and
land-owning classes, who combined to burlesque his
opinions and put him out of the way." But seven
dukes now sit on the platform when Mr. Chamber
lain makes a speech ! And history repeats itself, for
Jack Cade (Henry VL, Part II, Act IV, Sc. 7)
said : The proudest peer in the realm shall not wear
a head on his shoulders, unless he pays me tribute.
Peregrinus.

Prognostications.
To the Editor of the Herald:
As the Mid-Devon election foreshadows the de
feat of Mr. Chamberlain's schemes, Americans must
at once revise their naturalization laws. What if
Mr. Chamberlain should suddenly decide to let Eng
land collapse by abandoning it for the United States,
where there is a wide field for political ambition!
In 1896, thanks to Mr. Hanna's "pursonal" efforts,
colored delegates to the Republican Convention
made Mr. McKinley President in place of Tom
Reed, so that for eight years the whole course of
American history has been dominated by negro in
fluence. Mr. Murphy, twenty years ago a tram-car
driver in New York City, but now ruler of Tam-
224

MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN
many, will name the next President of the United
States — if a Democrat. But Americans don't know
how to run a country ! Instead of the present som
nolent chief they could have a real live government.
Mr. Morley could upset the United States Constitu
tion and put an export tax on cotton ; Mr. Moreton
Frewen, who kindly threw his influence for Mr.
Bryan (New York Herald, September 4, 1900),
classified Americans as a "community most ignorant
where questions of currency are concerned." Mr.
Chamberlain could establish a sound "fiscal" policy,
which, if appUed to New Jersey, that one State
wouldn't have to import mosquitoes ; it could export
enough to supply the whole of Central American
industry. And even Oxenstiern would have to ad
mit that the United States at least were well gov
erned. "Impransus."
Paris.  Joseph.
iTo the Editor of the Herald:
If the Herald wUl cede me a little space, I can
imitate the Hon. Joseph's constitutional modesty
and reply to his speech at Leeds. Well did the witty
Herald assert that the Transvaal war made Joseph
a Bore. But as a typewriting-machine emitter of
225

MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN
phrases he beats his White House rival. Never
have I seen such a flow of words, save when I put
the pages of a dictionary into a meat-chopper and
then turned the handle. Joseph says all English
men must drink only English champagne, and he
does not like American corn: it's such hard work
eating the cob. Joseph says there's "a community
of race in the U. S.," which explains why the Irish
man at a political meeting in N. Y. City said to the
German : "I'll allow no furrenner to speak." Joseph
quotes the Salvation Army : "that raisiflg the price
will make food cheaper." Why didn't he consult
Mrs. Eddy; she's now worth a million of dollars,
and every Englishman could then become rich by
the "law of suggestion." Joseph tries to flatter
Americans, and speaks of Mr. Franklin ; but if Ben
didn't run a comer in screws, he was a precursor of
the Steel Trust, for sincere Englishmen caUed him
"the man of three letters." *" There was once an
other Joseph who provided his country with corn;
he seems to have been a young man of good princi
ples, but, although he was no political weathercock,
he was the first Joseph to wear a coat of many colors.
"A Boot-Black."
Lutetia, December i8th.
'""Fur," because of stolen American documents. Franklin,
ignorant of Latin, and thinking it a compliment, bowed,
226

MR. JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN
Intellect Without Moral Principle.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — In view of Mr. Chamberlain's utterances at
the Guildhall, will you permit one who has lived
for many years in a part of France where the people
are very destitute, to call attention to the fact that
whatever tends to raise the cost of food or to dimin
ish its quality leads the poorer classes at once to
resort to the stimulating effects of drink, with all
the misery and degradation that follow. The
Roman Empire was founded on egotism and cruelty,
the German on "blood and iron" ; but Mr. Chamber
lain is the first statesman to create an Empire with
absolute inhumanity as its basis. And it is not sur
prising that disinterested adversaries apply to him
AUson's description of Napoleon: "The perfection
of intellect without moral principle." "A Free-Trader."
Paris, January 20th.

227

THE BOER WAR.

Dum-Dum Bullets.
To the Editor of the Herald:
There seems to be an inconsistency on the part
of the English in regard to the "Dum-Dum" bul
let. Its use was justified as preventing "rushes,"
but it is well known that the Boers fight singly and
at long distances. With the war against Spain,
which, it is now seen, was premeditated spoliation
by the United Staes, and with organized inhuman
ity, as set forth by The Hague Conference, to be
put in practice by the British, the Anglo-Saxon is
making a fine record after nineteen hundred years
of the reign of mercy.
Paris, July 14, 1899. An IRISHMAN.

" A Blaspheming Frenchman Is a More Pleasing
Sight for the Divinity than a Praying Eng
Ushman."
To the Editor of the Herald:
A letter received from a British officer in the
Transvaal confirms, by some of its details, the just-
228

THE BOER WAR
ness of the Herald's comments upon the English
conduct of the war in South Africa.
This officer writes that his orders are to drive
away all the cattle from the farms he visits. And
he adds : "It is no work for a gentleman, I assure
you. In some cases, where there are weeping
women and children, I cannot find it in my heart
to take every animal, for if there is not one left
with which the poor creatures can do their spring
ploughing, they must all die of starvation."
At the moment when these turpitudes are taking
place, there is neither protest nor reference on
the part of that representative paper, the London
Times. On the contrary, its columns are full of discus
sions on ritualism and the position of the bishops
in regard to the clergy, as if any possible solu
tion of these questions could, in any way, affect
the personal worth of an honest man.
Well did Heine, when he became acquainted
with British characteristics, exclaim: "I am firmly
convinced that a blaspheming Frenchman is a more
pleasing sight for the Divinity than a praying Eng
lishman."
Nomad.
Dinard, August 27, 1900.

229

THE BOER WAR
A British " Rear-Guard Action."
To the Editor of the Herald:
Why does not Renter's Agency buy a diction
ary? It says in to-day's Herald: "Crewe's column,
attacked, only extricated itself by an arduous rear
action." Americans, more concise, called such an
event in the War of Secession, "being badly de
moralized." Webster defines it: "ran away."
Pro-Boer.
Paris, February ii, 1901.

From the Herald.
A Pointer for " Pro-Boer."
To the Editor of the Herald:
Why do you allow "Pro-Boer" to make an ass
of himself in print, as he has in your issue of yes
terday? He did not serve in the War of Seces
sion, or he would have known that there are such
things as rear-guard actions, and they by no means
can be described as "running away." °^
New Jersey.
Nice, February 18, rgor.
»' "New Jersey" forgets his Goldsmith, The Art of Poetry,
etc.: ' For he who fights and runs away,
May live to fight another day."
230

THE BOER WAR
From the Herald.
* * * ^|: * * *
If "Pro-Boer" was a soldier, he would know that
to fight a rear-guard action successfully requires the
steadiest and most perfectly disciplined troops.
British Colonel
Cannes, February 18, igor.

From the Herald.
Rear-Guard Actions.
*******
If "Pro-Boer" was a soldier he would know that
to fight a rear-guard action successfully requires
the steadiest and most highly disciplined troops
possible. WeUington spoke in terms of the high
est praise of the great Ney, when he described him
as "that master of rear-guards."
British Colonel
Paris, February 28, rgor.

Refused by the Herald.
The Herald as a fair paper owes me full space.
"New Jersey's" military letter indicates that he
must have served in the Northem army as a
"bounty-jumper." 231

THE BOER WAR
If there were fewer of the "type" of the "British
Colonel," so safely housed at Cannes, Mr. Brod-
; rick would not have "opposed the court-martial." ^^
A "Paris British Colonel" fails to explain why
Wellington allowed the "great Ney" to be shot af
ter promising full amnesty to "all in the 'hundred
days'." »'
Let others, also "not soldiers," imagine Paarde-
berg: "A field of battle like a saucer, with English
troops around the rim, firing into a centre where
women and children, driven from their hiding-
places by the fumes of sulphur, were shot down
without any means of resistance." °*
Humanity is paying a revolting price for Mr.
Chamberlain's Colonial policy ; but British "honor,"
as shown by the Jameson raid, had to be avenged.
A Pro-Boer.
Paris, March, 1901.
Refused by the Evening Post.
To the Editor of the Evening Post:
Sir, — Lord Kitchener's proclamation in South
Africa lends great interest to a "proclamation,"
by George the Third, which has just been found
°' Mr. Brodrick in the House of Commons.
°' Alison, History of Europe.
" Letter from an English oflScer.
232

THE BOER WAR
among the papers of one of the oldest families in
Boston :
Whereas, The people of my city of Boston have,
of late, manifested a tendency to abandon the use
of tea as a "beverage," and, by their intemperate
action in destroying a cargo of the same, and by
paying, without a murmur, a corresponding tax on
molasses, have conclusively shown that they have
taken very strongly to Medford rum;
Whereas, It is the "plain duty" of one who gov
erns England with such force of "mentality" that
he does not know how "they" '** get an apple into
a dumpling, to prevent a young and intellectually
modest community from giving way to hysteria
and drunkenness, vices that, before Mafeking, no
where existed in His Majesty's own dominions;
Whereas, His fat-witted Royalty is extremely
"bored" with the petty, continued and absolutely
illogical resistance of one Washington, who had the
poor taste to begin his military career by witness
ing a defeat of my troops somewhere near a smoke-
hole called Quaysville, future source of wealth to
a Scotchman named Carnegie;
Whereas, The disposition to evade taxes might
serve as a pernicious example to some subsequent
politician ; '*' George III., to a farmer's wife.

THE BOER WAR
Whereas, It has been proved that these God
fearing Puritans have taken the gravestones be
longing to my faithful but fugitive Loyalists, have
erased the names and appropriated the coats-of-
arms thereon;
I, therefore, the lineal "descendant" of a child
less "ancestor," Edward the Confessor, and assum
ing the title, given to me in the London clubs, of
"Edward the Caresser," ^*^ do hereby command
the same Bostonians to remain docile subjects of
my pleasure, so that hereafter they may not attempt
to combine the impossible conditions of "aping the
English" and being anti-imperialistic at the same
time. Given by my foot this day of August.
Countersigned by my universally beloved Cham
berlain. New York, August, rgoi. HiSTORICUS.
•'•"The London Times, February 24, 1902, speaking of the
King's visit to Bass' Brewery, said:
"It was here that the King started a special brew, which vrill
be known as the King's ale, and being of extra strength and quality,
is not to be put on the market, but to be reserved for special oc
casions. His Majesty simply pulled a lever, which allowed the
malt to slip through a sluice into the mash-tub."
Iconoclastic London clubs vrill now probably name Edward,
Rex, the "Masher." The annals of longevity offer only one paral
lel case : that of an old man of 83 in Paris, who brought suit for
libel because a fair neighbor called him "coureur."
234

THE BOER WAR
Ne ment pas qui veut.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald renders such great service to the
American public at large that it would be ungra
cious to blame it for not being a school of political
morality; but when it lends its world-wide pub
licity to the statement of the London Telegraph,
that the Boer war "has not alienated from us a
single American of knowledge and standing," then
it would seem to be aiding Mr. Chamberlain and
the British press in their effort to convince Europe
of American sympathy with England in its unholy
South African conquest.
Napoleon said that the press of a nation was the
measure of its opinion. Let the Telegraph then
name a single great paper in the United States —
taking the Herald, Evening Post, New York Times,
Philadelphia Ledger and Boston Transcript —
which has not repeatedly urged that the Boer war
was undertaken by England to secure a more eco
nomical working of the Rand mines, through en
forced or slave labor,'° objected to by the Boers (an
uninteresting people), or, as Sir WilHam Harcourt
said in the House of Commons, because of "auri
sacra fames." *°
" Sir W. Harcourt's letter to the Times, February 5, 1903.
»» ^neid, III, 57. 235

THE BOER WAR
And it is in order for Americans of heart, tena
city and courage to proclaim that the declarations
of American policy by Mr. Chamberlain and the
Telegraph are simply additional proofs of the force
of La Fontaine's dictum: "Ne ment pas qui
veut." "
Paris November 28, 1901. An AMERICAN.

"A Landlubber" Passes Facetious Criticism on
Captain Mahan's Latest Article.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Captain "Ipse Dixit" Mahan, in his article in the
National Review, again comes to the relief of the
British Empire, and assures the pachydermatous
Mr. Chamberlain that the prestige of England has
been "increased" all over the world, and informs
the probably astonished Mr. Brodrick that Eng
land has 300,000 highly disciplined troops.
As Captain Mahan's single naval exploit — at
Valparaiso — nearly embroiled two "land forces,"
Chili and the United States — a war which would
have been mainly fought as M. Gaston de Castel
lane, according to the French papers, the other day
cuffed a man, viz., by telegraph — why. Captain Ma
han's theories seem better than his practice.
" Livre IX, Fable 1.
236

THE BOER WAR
The following extract from a Fourth of July
oration will show our former "relatives across the
sea," now "sister's" chUdren (vide Chamberlain),
that the gallant captain is not our only naval expert :
"What," said the Western "statesman," "what con
stitutes the glory of Great Britain ? Her flag. And
what enables her to fly that proud emblem? Her
fleet. And what permits her to float that great
fleet? The ocean. And what is the source of sup
ply of the ocean ? The Mississippi River. Turn the
Mississippi River into the Mammoth Cave and you
will leave the British navy floundering in the mud."
Paris, December 2, 1901. A LANDLUBBER.

From the Herald.
You Take a Joke Too Seriously!
To the Editor of the Herald:
As one who has done his little bit in this present
South African campaign towards upholding the
honor and prestige of "Old England," I beg to re
ply to "Landlubber," who writes in your estimable
paper to-day criticising Captain Mahan and his esti
mate of the amount of available troops in England.
"Landlubber" can take it from me that the gal
lant captain underestimates the number, and if he
had put 500,000 he would be nearer the mark.
237

THE BOER WAR
Perhaps "Landlubber," who tries a sneer at
Chamberlain and Brodrick, can inform me why his
country (his letter shows he is from the United
States) is still unable to conquer the handful of
rebels in the Philippine Islands. Surely a country
whose principal river supplies the water necessary
for British warships to float ought to have finished
such a "trifling" job before now !
Paris, December 3, 1901. EriN-Go-BrAGH.

Go on the Same Tack.
To the Editor of the Herald:
As the Herald intimates, "Erin-Go-Bragh" is as
"fresh" as were Adam and Eve before the police
made them buy additional clothing.
"Erin-Go-Bragh" did not quite "see double"
Captain Mahan's estimate, but his letter is proof
of the fact that he is putting to a practical test his
countryman's theory: that a bottle of water well
corked will last a long time.
Paris, December, 1901. A LANDLUBBER.

Refused by the Herald.
To the Editor of the Herald:
For those who know the United States it is safe
to say that if Governor Yates, of Illinois, succeeds
238

THE BOER WAR
in his appeal for the Boer reconcentrados, he will
be the next President.
There are millions of Americans — over six mill
ions of Democratic voters — who, bitterly opposed
to war as a rule, are ready to join the continent of
Europe in giving a military application to the ad
vice of Voltaire : Ecraser I'lnfame.
Either the United States could "turn the Gulf
Stream into the Mammoth Cave" and thereby re
duce England in a few hours to her former state
in the glacial period, or, better still, it could stop
grain shipments.
A high authority has stated that Great Britain has
only a six weeks' supply of cereals,"' and as Eng
land is like an oyster — all stomach and no heart — a
simple embargo would permit the United States to
assert: Peace hath her victories no less renowned
than war.'* Observer.
Paris, December, 1901.

Refused by the Herald.
Scheepers.
To the Editor of the Herald:
A favorite theme with writers of tragedy is the
story of the woman who sacrificed her virtue to save
•' Navibusque et casibus vita populi romani permissa est. —
Tacitus, Ann. XII, 43.
" Milton, Sonnet to the Lord General CromweU,
239

THE BOER WAR
her husband's Ufe, only to be forced to witness the
loved one's death.
But to take a captured invaUd, to give him high
professional skill, tender nursing, nutritious food —
like a Strasburg goose fattened for kUling — ^with a
daily hospital chart before his eyes to show him
how much more blood there was to make the pud
dle when he was shot ; ^ why, it only remains to
tear down the new statue to Victor Hugo and re
place it with Lord Kitchener's.^
For the poet's imagination pales before that of
the English Commander. Observer.
Paris, January 26, 1902.
' Scheepers was carried to his death in an ambulance, and
history mentions only one other case of such utter helplessness ;
viz., when the young daughter of Sejanus had, by order of Ti
berius, been taken to the place of execution, she was subjected to
violence, as the Roman law forbade the death penalty for a vir
gin; and the executioner was thus forced to commit both rape
and murder : A camifice laqueum juxta compressam. — ^Tacitus,
Ann. V, 9.
' Le Temps (February 19, 1902) gave the following extract
from a letter vmtten by Field-Marshal Sir Neville Chamberlain :
" Je considfere vraiment avec honte beaucoup des actes accomplis
sur I'ordre du g^n^ral Kitchener. Cet homme semble incapable
d'aucun sentiment d'humanite dans la guerre. II est heureux
pour I'honneur des armes britanniques que notre histoire n'ait
encore jamais eu de commandant en chef dans son genre. ..."

240

THE BOER WAR
Anglo-Saxon Enterprise.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Certainly the Anglo-Saxon is marching from
triumph to triumph.
Papers report that De Wet's wife, having refused
to receive English succor, has, in consequence, been
sent to a concentration camp with her eight chil
dren, one of whom is already dead.
A cable from Manila informs an admiring world
that Sergeant Kichlin and eight privates of the
United States Army have succeeded in taking a
Filipe woman prisoner.^
Soon we ought to get the following despatch:
" Brilliant Night Attack. A Filipino infant cap
tured in its cradle by a regiment of American
dragoons. The feat is the more remarkable as the
baby had already been weaned."
Paris, January, 1902. An IRISHMAN.

Definition of a "Good Boer."
To the Editor of the Herald:
Englishmen are considered abrupt in manner,
but if their present evolution continues they will
certainly have a monopoly of courtesy.
' Oh, for the grand Arminius : Fortem exercitum, quorum
tot manus unam mulierculam avexerint. — Tacitus, Ann. I, 59.
241

THE BOER WAR
Witness the partly concealed grimace with which
they accepted Mr. Cleveland's after-dinner Vene
zuela Message. It is true that, as a consequence
of this message, Mr. Cleveland will now be chiefly
known to history as the only President of the United
States who could button the collar and then slip his
shirt over his head, the pyramid of statesmen.
Then the gentle concession of the Nicaragua
Canal. Now, flattery cements kinship, and "our cous
ins" in South Africa are copying General Sheridan's
Indian recipe : " There is only one good Boer, and
that a dead one."
Despite "peace" reports, Boers will continue to
misquote Macaulay's idol, Barere, and say:
"England, with all thy fauUs, I hate thee still." *
A New York Dutchman.
Paris, January 31, 1902.

England's Aristocracy.
Mr. Winston ChurchiU's protest in the House of
Commons,- that the Government should not pay for
"useless" telegrams in regard to the sequestration
of De Wet's wife, leads one to infer that his ances
tor, through whom he claims descent from Marl-
* Cowper, The Task, Book II, The Timepiece, hne 206.
242

THE BOER WAR
borough, must have been born several years after
his father, the great duke, had fallen into hopeless
imbecility. To revise Byron:
The idiot father of "an idiot Boy." '
However, the poverty of De Wet's wife could
not, under any circumstances, be an alluring bait
to one of a family whose founder was thus re
ferred to by Thackeray: "I remember hearing Mr.
Congreve say of my Lord Marlborough that the
reason why my Lord was so successful with women
as a young man was because he took money of
them! 'There are few men who will raake such
a sacrifice for them', says Mr. Congreve." "
Observer.
Paris, February 12, 1902.

Refused by the Herald.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald is losing its eyesight. It has failed
to note that there is a grave omission on the new
English "sovereign."
William the Conqueror firmly established the
very respectable title: King of England. But the
"yellow-vested. Macassar-oiled" Disraeli thought
' English Bards and Scotch Reviewers, 242.
' Henry Esmond. 243

THE BOER WAR
this not pompous enough and added: Emperor of
India. Now Mr. Chamberlain, who can make Empires
faster than J. Csesar, Napoleon and "Whiteley, the
Universal Provider," all three combined, and jeal
ous, perhaps, of the fame of a South African ex
pander, has failed to have King Edward's coin
stamped: The Colossus of Rhodes.
Paris, February 4, r902. A NUMISMATIST.

Refused by the Herald.
To the Editor of the Herald:
I'm only a bartender, but I've education enough
to read the Herald letters, and I like 'em. They're
spicy. They're like the red pepper I put in whiskey
to please Western customers.
The English who drink in my place get poetical
late at night and call Kitchener "serpent of old
Nile," ** and say he is a Boa-Constrictor. But the
boys tell rae that the Boers are wiry chaps and
break through the fences. I don't know how it all
is, but I believe the "scurvy politicians" '' who kiss
cobble-stones in New York and drink London fog
for cocktails are talking again. I only remember
'" Antony and Cleopatra, Act II, Sc. 3.
' King Lear, Act IV, Sc. 6. Vide Mr. Choate's speeches.
244

THE BOER WAR
one speech when I was a young 'un, and if the
Herald wants it here it is :
"Where," said a Western orator in a three-sided
election, "where was Henry Clay at the battle of
New Orleans? Playing poker on a Mississippi
steamboat and betting $500 on a pair of deuces.
D — ^n him! Where was John Adams at the battle
of New Orleans? In France, ogling the ladies and
drinking champagne out of golden goblets. D — n
him ! Where was General Jackson at the battle of
New Orleans ? Up to his middle in water and raud,
giving the British — fits. God bless him !"
Paris, March, 1902. An Ex-GaMBLER.
Napoleon's Shopkeepers.
Burke proclaimed that "political reason is a com
puting principle." * Let us compute.
First as to Lord Salisbury's "security." What
"security" can there be in the possession of a coun
try without water for agriculture, where the average
American drinks methylated spirit ° for his "bever
age," and where the Boa-Constrictors (no disre-
' Morley's Life of Burke.
' Even this is better than the "whiskey" fumished to the
Indians by the United States Agents. This "extinguisher," con
sisting of turpentine mixed with red paint, has done its work
so well, that to-day only a few loathsome units remain of the
Comanehes that numbered some 40,000 warriors in 1854.
24s

THE BOER WAR
spect to Kitchener's block-houses), join head and
taU, form themselves into hoops and roll after you 1
But Mr. Chamberlain is the directing figure in
the Boer war and, apart from that "sin" 9^ by which
fell the angels, is, through commercial instinct,
naturally allured by the financial results.
To wit: According to Hammond, (lecture at
Yale College), the recognized mining authority,
there are in the Transvaal gold mines ("duration
30 years"), a value of some 600 million pounds
Stg. Le Temps (February 20th) in a detailed
statement shows the cost of the war, so far, as 200
raillion pounds Stg.; a burden to be borne by the
tax-payers, as the mine-owners, mostly foreigners,
receive the profits.
This sum of 200 millions, at 3^ for the life of a
modem loan, say 65 years, gives 390 million pounds
Stg., or in all 590 million pounds Stg., as the debit
itera of the war — ^thereby making the war un coup
d'epee dans I'eau I
England has been governed by Walpole the
briber, North the booby, Gladstone the casuist; it
required the imagination of Napoleon to suppose
that she would accept the guidance of a blundering
accountant. Observer.
Paris, February, 1902.
»* Henry VIIL, Act III, Sc. 2.
246

THE BOER WAR
Auri Sacra Fames.
When the Austrian General Haynau, who had
flogged and maltreated women and children in the
Hungarian insurrection of 1848, visited London, on
entering the brewery of Barclay and Perkins, the
working-men there suddenly closed the doors, took
him, stripped him, tied him to a post and lashed
him to their heart's content.
Mr. Chamberlain and Lord Kitchener would, of
course, now suffer no personal indignity in the
United States. But it is far away from concealed
contempt to sending exponents of mushroora wealth
to take part in a ceremony where, fortunately for
the honor of their country, their identity will be
lost among a crowd of nobles dressed, like circus
people, in spangles.
"Freedom shrieked as Kosciusko feU," ^^ but
the Jade is at present speculating in Wall Street,
and the land once called "the hope of the oppressed"
is now "like an Egyptian pitcher of tamed vipers,
each struggling to get its head above the others" ^^
in its efforts to secure social recognition.
An Internationalist.
Paris, February, r902.
'" Campbell, The Pleasures of Hope.
" Sartor Resartus. 247

THE BOER WAR
Mr. Cecil Rhodes.
President Kruger is said to have made the
following commentary on hearing of Mr. Rhodes'
death : The Lord gave.
The Lord hath taken away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord. "
It is safe to say that no such keen — ^if invol
untary — personal thrust has been made since a
courteous English host addressed Franklin as "the
man of three letters."
Observer.
Paris, March 27, 1902.

Vide Historicus.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Do not lose any sleep over the utterances of the
English "Jingo" press. England will not get into
the war in the East. For she would have to do her
own fighting. And, not to offend any of your read
ers, here is a little history. Bergen-op-Zoom and the
Walcheren Expedition show what England accom
plishes when all by herself. England's role in con
quest has been confined to furnishing the money.
" The Book of Common Prayer.
Sed satis est orare Jovem quae donat et aufert.- — Horace,
Epistolee, XVIII, ro6. 248

THE BOER WAR
While Marlborough was selling his soldiers' rations
(vide Thackeray), Dutch and Austrians got the
killing. Thanks to Spanish guerillas, who cut off
supplies for the French, Wellington and his "jail
bird army" (vide his despatches) succeeded in the
Peninsula war, only to win Waterloo by a fluke
and the aid of the Prussians (vide speech Gerraan
Emperor). In the Crimea English troops couldn't
march, as their intelligent Government only sent
out boots for the "right foot." War does not now
consist in knocking clodhoppers, like the Boers, on
the head, or in putting favorites in command who
must have their whiskey even if shipped in barrels
marked "castor-oil." "HiSlORICUS."
Paris, January 19th.

Som6 English History.
To the Editor of the Herald:
No wonder Englishmen are partly "Danes," for
with old Mrs. Hamlet they "protest too much" ^'
and with "mindless eyes and ears" forget their own
history. To wit: The starvation of India, in 1765,
through government monopoly of food (vide Camp
bell's Pleasures of Hope) ; The American massacres,
in 1776-83 (vide Lord Chatham) ; The order given
" Hamlet, Act III, Sc. -z.
249

THE BOER WAR
to Admiral de Sauraarez, in 1802, "Kill and De
stroy" (vide AUson).
England made her national hero of one who had
hanged a patriot to his yard-arm, and who left
Lady Hamilton as a "legacy" to the country which
boasts of its purity.
She forced opium on China, in 1841, and fought
the Crimean war, the most colossal monument of
human stupidity since the Tower of Babel.
Then 17,000 poor wretches mowed down at Om
durman, and now South Africa devastated! With
ancient Romans: Ubi solitudinem faciunt, pacem
appellant.^* Yet despite Napoleon's aphorism, Spion Kop de
spatches show that between drunken and incompe
tent generals, "War" is a "trade" ^^ the English
cannot follow, save in the capacity of butchers.
Peregrinus.
Paris, 1902.
" Tacitus, De Vita Agricolse, XXX.
" Othello, Act I, Sc. ^.

250

QUEEN VICTORIA.

A Censorious MateriaUst.
To the Editor of the Herald:
In view of "the unspeakable trash published in
memory of the Queen" — ^the poetry especially being
"corrugated gush" — and of the fact that the burial
of a "poor mortal" is used as an advertiseraent of
war and Imperialisra — the body being carried "on
a gun-carriage with rubber-tire wheels" — ^perhaps
the Herald, which is nothing if not "opportuniste,"
wiU consent to reprint Voltaire's definition: "Les
honneurs de la sepulture: Pourrir avec tous les
gueux du quartier dans un vilain cimetiere ?" ^*
Paris, February 2, 1901. ^ MATERIALIST.

From the Herald.
Three Questions.
To the Editor of the Herald:
I. Does the Herald think that the "Censorious
Materialist" of February 2d is a relative of the
talented "Flaneur" of the same date?
" Candide.

QUEEN VICTORIA
2. Would Mr. Alfred Austin, the Poet Laureate
of England, cede his office to the talented "Fla
neur" ? ^
3. Would the "Censorious Materialist" produce
something "material," instead of quoting the lines
of a master the "laces of whose shoes he is un
worthy to unloose"? A Simple Reader.
H6tel du Quirinal, Rome, February 7, i9or.

They Are AU PubUshed in FuU to Show What an
Industrious Man " A MateriaUst " Is.
To the Editor of the Herald:
"Simple Reader" being the only one who ever
fully appreciated Voltaire, and "doing in Rome as
the Romans do," wiU, perhaps, let others quote
Foxley : —
For light on this I often used to grope.
How men with brains could bow before the Pope;
But kindly Mr. Mallock now explains ;
The Pope's disciples do not use their brains.
Paris, February r3, 1901. A MATERIALIST,
Not for publication. — If the Herald objects to the
above, perhaps this: —
To the Editor of the Herald:
"Siraple Reader" being the only sutor who ever
entirely appreciated Voltaire, his letter is evidently
252

QUEEN VICTORIA
fraraed after Rabelais' advice: "That one does not
know what a genuine toothache is until he has been
bitten by a dog." " A Materialist.
Paris, February r3, 1901.
Not for publication. — Or this : —
To the Editor of the Herald:
"Simple Reader" being the only one who ever
fully appreciated Voltaire, and evidently incapable
of perceiving the naked truth, must have written
the pawn-broker's sign : " I. Simpkins having cast
off clothing of every description solicits an early
call." A Materialist.
Paris, February r3, 1901.
Not for publication. — Or this : —
To the Editor of the Herald:
Apologizing to "Flaneur" — a stranger — the
writer admits that probably only too often he,
hiraself, ignores Montaigne's maxim: "That one
can make a fool of himself in anything but
poetry." ^*
But "Simple Reader's" simile is unhappy, for the
law of atavism raust raake hira much more familiar
with the toe of Voltaire's boot.
Paris, February 13, i9or. A MATERIALIST.
" Car il n'est mal des dents si grand que quant les chiens
nous tiennent aux jambes. — Pantagruel, Liv. V, chap. 36.
"' On peut faire le sot partout ailleurs, mais non en la poesie.
— Livre II. 253

QUEEN VICTORIA
From the Herald.
Suggestion to " MateriaUst."
To the Editor of the Herald:
The simple reader respectfully suggests that as
no original "matter" has yet been produced by
"Materialist," he should change his literary pseu
donym for one more appropriate in his case — i. e.,
"A Literary Pickpocket." A Simple Reader.
Rome, February 22, 1901.

Chin-Chin's Perspicacity.
To the Editor of the Herald:
"Simple Reader's" "superiors" had better caU
him off, or else follow the plan indicated in the
reply of Chin-Chin, a Chinese merchant, who, on
being told that a childless old man, after twenty
years of married life in Hong-Kong, had, on set
tling in America, been presented with a fine boy,
remarked: "Some goodee friend helpee he."
A Materialist.
Paris, February 26, 1901.

254

SOME ENGLISH METHODS.

Perfidious Albion.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Von Vizine, a Russian traveller of the eighteenth
century, wrote that "when England is discontented
with the state of her own affairs she declares war
against France."
From the day that Prince Caraccioli's body rose
in the Bay of Naples,^* the course of England in
regard to foreign nations has been one of unmiti
gated rapine and slaughter.''" For proof: the Cri
mean war, in which nearly a raillion of lives were
sacrificed because England, to aid "free trade," did
the bidding of a pinchbeck French Emperor. Mr.
Balfour may well shed crocodile tears; but now it
is not Egypt, where 17,000 natives were killed in
one battle, raany being left "to drag their slow
" Alison, History of Europe.
'""Abroad," said John Bright in 1845, "the history of our
country is the history of war and rapine ; at home of debts, taxes,
and rapine, too." 255

SOME ENGLISH METHODS
length along" ^^ to a distant river. No ! It is "auri
sacra fames" and the world is fast adopting Heine's
theory : that the ocean would swallow up that little
island but for fear of being seasick.
The Herald publishes willingly attacks upon the
United States ; it remains to be seen, in view of its
reputed large English clientele, whether it is suffi
ciently independent to publish this.
An Imshman.
Paris, September 30, 1899.

England's Policy Towards America.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald protested against the machinations
of the Times' New York correspondent, but why
does it let the Chronicle vilify us at will by saying :
"The Senate should have taken the raoraent of our
necessity to repudiate her solemn agreement, etc. ?"
Every spontaneous act of England towards the
United States has been characteristic of her own
selfish policy — ^the employraent of Indians and Hes
sians in 1776-83 ; the burning of Washington in
1814; her well-known duplicity in the Oregon de
marcation of 1840-2 ; her openly avowed sympathy
with the Rebellion, and, lastly, the "moral encour-
" Pope's Essay on Criticism, II, 156.
256

SOME ENGLISH METHODS
agement," by which our country has involved itself
so deeply in the Philippine nettle that, for a time at
least, Canada is comparatively safe.
Paris, February 23, 1901. An AMERICAN.

From the Hercid.
Letter from "New Orleans" (not kept) advising
Araericans to wear small national flags so as to
escape the indignities heaped upon Englishmen
everywhere on the continent.

From the Herald.
BRITON'S PROTEST.
Three Writers Who Are Sure that Americans Never,
Never Would Be Taken for EngUsh People.
From Briton No. i.
To the Editor of the Herald:
As one who has lived and travelled on the Con
tinent during the last ten years continuously, I raay
claim, in the elegant phraseology of the wise young
man frora New Orleans, to have also "been round
Europe considerably," and I agree with hira that
as a nation we are detested abroad. But individu
ally I think not. I have invariably raet with cour
tesy and civility, and, as far as I can ascertain frora
257.

SOME ENGLISH METHODS
friends, it is most unusual for Britons to be treated
otherwise. Hence I fear that no amount of flag-carrying wiU
help this "wise young man." I fear the fault lies
in the man, not the nationality. I have met the
type often, alas! and the Britons would indeed be
thankful if he, and those like him. could arrange
for a man to go on ahead of them with a big, big
flag, similar to those used not long since before
steam traction engines.
We could get out of his way in time then. As
it is, we have to wait till he is close before we
discover his dangerous propinquity.
Pau, April 7, 1901. ^ Briton.

From Briton No. 2.
To the Editor of the Herald:
"New Orleans' " idea that all Americans should
wear flags in their buttonholes to prevent thera be
ing taken for Englishraen is very funny — almost
too funny for words. Does he really imagine that
he has ever been taken for one? Were it possible
for him so to disguise himself, he would soon be
come aware that there are others besides English
raen who are not popular on the Continent.
Does he not know that, with but few exceptions,
all Americans bear constantly about with them an
258

SOME ENGLISH METHODS
unmistakable badge of their nationality? I ara
not saying this in any unfriendly spirit, as I have
good American friends. I am not referring to the
toes of their boots, a generally unmistakable sign,
but to the fact that their speech betrayeth them.
Paris, April 9, i9or. Briton.
From Briton No. 3.
To the Editor of the Herald:
I see in the Herald of April 6 a letter signed
"New Orleans," urging Americans abroad to dec
orate themselves with American flags in order not
to be mistaken for Englishmen. Let "New Or
leans" take heart of grace, the danger is slight.
The usual traveling American has manners too bad
for him to be taken for other than what he is.
Paris, April 9, r90r. An OBSERVER.
To the Editor of the Herald:
If "Briton No. i" would travel less ^^* and read
more, he would flnd that Merimee describes Eng
lishraen as "individuelleraent betes et en raasse un
peuple adrairable." ^^
''» Parfait Anglais voyageant sans dessein,
Achetant cher de modernes antiques.
— La Pucelle, Chant VIII.
^'^ Lettres a une Inconnue. 259

SOME ENGLISH METHODS
"Briton No. 2" intimates that Englishmen carry
about with thera an atmosphere of their own. It is
to be hoped that it is always a good one.
But all your "Britons" give themselves unneces
sary publicity in regard to "New Orleans." On
January 8, 181 5, a lot of "Britons" tried so unsuc
cessfully to get into the city of that narae that over
2,000*' of thera becarae perraanent residents of
the soil.
A profound study of the nation's characteristics
convinces me that the much-despised " 'Arry" is
the ultimate type of English courtesy and mental
developraent. Where I have had to "suffer" ** oth
ers of the same race I have often found it a very
good rule to put them in barrels and talk to them
through the bung hole.
Paris, April 12, 1901. A Louisiana Negro.

From the Herald.
Advice to " Flineur."
To the Editor of the Herald:
You would oblige several daily readers of your
paper by publishing the following:
We have seen only of late so rauch in your paper
" Alison gives the British loss as 2,000 killed, wounded and
prisoners. '* Suffer fools gladly. — ^11 Corinthians, XI, 19.
260

SOME ENGLISH METHODS
about a certain party signing himself "Flaneur,"
who thinks . . . Some of us are on to his tricks
and would therefore advise hira to attend more
strictly to his own business. ... or the time
might come when he wished he had never com
menced having his name appear in your paper.
This is only a little good advice free of charge.
Paris, March, 9, r9or. KiNG.

From Tenderfoot to King.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald might advise the warlike syndicate
that coraposed the letter signed "King" that they
are in a law-abiding country and not in the blud
geon-ruled Trafalgar-square, nor in Terre Haute,
Indiana, where it took sorae three thousand men of
their stamp of courage to pound to death an inof
fensive negro.
It does not require much pluck for a band to
"taunt hira with aU the license of ink," *° but it is
dangerous in France to attempt to follow, in a
peculiar way, Victor Hugo's line:
"Chantez.  " ^«
A Seeming Tenderfoot.
Paris, March 10, 1901.
" Twelfth Night, Act III, Sc. 2.
" Marie Tudor, Premifere Journfe, Sc. S-
261

SOME ENGLISH METHODS
From the Herald.
" Onto His Tricks."
Au Redacteur du Herald:
Je m'interesse beaucoup aux moeurs americaines,
et je lis avec assiduite votre admirable journal, afin
de me tenir au courant sur tout ce qui se passe
parmi votre grand peuple. Je viens de lire avec
un plaisir exquis la lettre signee "King," dont je
releve la haute politesse, la courtoisie, et la fagon
delicate de se faire comprendre tout d'un coup —
comme qui dirait d'un coup de massue. II y a une
expression pourtant qui m'est obscure. "King"
dit, en parlant d'un certain "Flaneur," "We are
onto his tricks," Qu'est ce que ga signifie ?
Panurge.
Paris, le 31 mars, 1901.

Refused by the Herald.
Monsieur: Cest avec la mort dans l'ame que je constate, en
parcourant les lettres parues dans votre admirable
journal, que le bonhomme Panurge s'est fait un
de ses propres moutons ^^ en laissant s'ecouler deux
semaines avant de vouloir faire acte de presence.
Et quoique le compere soit "au courant sur"
^' Pantagruel, Livre IV, chap. 8.
262

SOME ENGLISH METHODS
"raoeurs araericaines," "fagon delicate" et "un coup
de raassue," sa lettre fair voir que deja, grace a son
coeur, il sait porter un coup de Jarnac.
Pour mettre fin a cet assaut de "courtoisie" per
mettez-moi. Monsieur, une observation : quelquefois
la locution — ontohistricks — signifie Taction d'un tas
de roquets qui n'osent guere attaquer qu'en masse
et par derriere.
Paris, le 7 avril, i9or. FRI^RE JeaN.

Refused by the Herald.
Lord Halsbury.
To the Editor of the Herald:
"Consistency" is a "jewel" *^ that the Colossus of
Rhodes has not thus far discovered in its South
African excavations.
The Lord Chancellor of England declares in the
House of Lords that when war exists there is a
"dislocation of society," or "the real English of the
matter is" that there is no law at all. But war is
actually going on, and yet this the highest law
officer of the Crown is drawing his salary with a
regularity that would bring a blush to the cheek of
the erstwhile vendor of putrid meat who is now sup
plying the British army with food !
'* Jolly Robyn-Roughead. 263

SOME ENGLISH METHODS
Still what a genius for war! The Lord Chan
cellor claims that it is "skulking" to take advantage
of natural positions, and seems to think that every
self-respecting Boer ought to place himself before
a target in front of an English regiraent armed with
Lee-Metfords and a few maxims ; and that after a
week's "potting" the clodhopper should make a
swom affidavit that he had had enough and go
away! Much is said of "weighty decisions" and the
"solemnity of justice," but where, says Mon
taigne, can one find weight and solemnity so weU
combined as in a jackass ! ^°
An Internationalist.
March, rgo2. England, Germany and France.
Now that the United States is, through its
"scurvy politicians," being poisoned with the trans
parent Anglo-Saxon fiattery of Mr. Charaberlain,
the London Times and Gerraan rulers,'" Americans
can find an explanation of English obsequiousness
'" Est-il rien certain, resolu, d^daigneux, contemplatif, s^rieux,
grave comme I'asne. Livre IV.
'" A bracelet sent to Mr. Roosevelt's family by the Emperor
of Germany was admitted to the United States without duty.
A necklace carried by Mrs. Dodge, an American dtizen, was
seized and sold at public auction. 264

SOME ENGLISH METHODS
in the remark of the Marechal de Villeroi, a propos
de Law : II faut tenir le pot de chambre aux minis
tres tant qu'ils sont en place, et le leur verser sur la
tete quand iis n'y sont plus.*^
And Germany's action in sending Prince Henry
to remove the irapression caused by Manila inci
dents rerainds one of the worthy being spoken of
by Duclos, "who when you spat in his face asked
perraission to wipe it off with your foot." ^^
The aid given us by France during our Revolu
tion was, to our credit, a confirmation of the adage :
Your friends you make yourself, your relatives are
imposed upon you by nature."*
Paris, February, 1902. An AMERICAN.

Striking a Hampden Attitude.
To the Editor of the Herald:
One word may be added to the Herald's admira
ble "Cartwright" leader, viz., a new version of an
old grind : England is called an Englishman's home.
The wind may whistle around it, the rain can enter
it, but — Cartwright cannot.
" Touchard Lafosse — Chroniques de I'CEil de Boeuf.
" Histoire Secrfete des Rfegnes de Louis XV. et de Louis XVI.
'' Compare: At si cognatos, nullo natura labore
Quos tibi dat. — Horace, Sat. I, 88.
26s

SOME ENGLISH METHODS
The declarations in the House of Commons of
Mr. Brodrick, Mr. Balfour and the Attorney-Gen
eral recall Lord Westbury's saying: I never knew
a minister that had a raind.
John Hampden's name has always been ap
proached with respect; it remained for the "Bir
rainghara" trurapet to turn it into an adjective.
In the "elegant" diction then of the Times, 1
"strike a Harapden attitude" and sign
A "Muddle-Headed" Person.
Paris, April 28, 1902.

Refused by the Herald.
To the Herald:
Now that you are "on to" National Anthems:
Is it or is it not true that the music of "God Save
the King" was "stolen" by the original John BuU
— Parentis Patriae,** in his methods — from the
French: which same music was composed by LuUi
and set to words sung before Louis XIV. at St. Cyr
by the protegees of Madame de Maintenon ("Elle
est Madame, maintenant").*^
And does the Herald say that "our Country" was
"shamelessly stolen from Great Britain," or its na
tional anthem?
" Tacitus, Ann. II, 8. "> Chroniques de I'CEil de Bceuf.
266

SOME ENGLISH METHODS
Now the Boer war and the Philippine "assimila
tion" show that the Anglo-Saxon does not "steal"
anything, or, in good "Roosevelt English," never
"takes anything beyond his reach" — and is it not
writ : "Their seed shall inherit the Earth." *'
'» Psahns, XXV, 13.

267

CHINA.

China Wants to Be Left Alone.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald pubUshes all kinds of letters, per
haps it will publish mine. I have read in Araerican
journals that, in 1886, the United States cruelly
abandoned 100,000 of my countrymen to the tender
raercies of Western desperadoes, who slaughtered
thera without pity. I have also read that, in the
Matabele carapaign, the English, by means of
dynamite, blew up the gullies where the natives
had hidden, to the effect that, for days, the roads
in the vicinity were impassable, because of the
sickening odor of burnt flesh; and, that in the
conquest of Algeria, the Marechal Bugeaud, finding
800 poor devils in a cave, built a fire at its
mouth and stifled them all.
As to missionaries, a fair type is the English
man Stokes, whom a Belgian officer hanged, and
properly hanged, for supplying the savages with
268

CHINA
muskets and rum. My country protested against
the importation of opiura — ^that brutalizing drug —
but England forced its introduction at the cannon's
raouth. "Civilization" should not, therefore, judge
too hastily what is merely a sporadic ebullition of
popular excitement, due to the fact that China, never
intent on foreign aggrandizement, has remained
self-concentrated and undisciplined, or, to use the
words of ray grand corapatriot. Marquess Tseng,
"has for centuries been sleeping in the vacuous
vortex of the storra of forces wildly whirling
around her." A Chinaman.
Paris, July 9, 1900. Is This BUiousness ?
To the Editor of the Herald:
It would seera for the raoraent as if China
could say to the rest of the world : " 'I do bite
my thumb' *^ at you."
With the war upon "children," as General Mer
ritt described the Filipinos, and with the destruction
of Finnish liberties, the United States and Russia
can be regarded as sister nations ; one in fibre, pur
pose and action, and simply great because of their
numbers. " Romeo and Juliet, Act I, Sc. i.
269

CHINA
England has in South Africa a force of 200,000
men, melting away, to be sure, with enteric fever,
but engaged in an attempt to restore her prestige by
the singular process of attacking a motley band of
some 35,000 clodhoppers, shown, through the
Cronje surrender, to be without a commissariat, and
to have an equipment for each man of one rifle and
an umbrella.
By reason of the effort of an ex-policeman and a
Spanish derai-bourgeoise to raaintain their son on
an Imperial throne, Germany and France have for
thirty years stood armed to the teeth — ^their people
ground down with taxes — ^with the result that the
"mailed fist" has no money, and the country which
monopolizes justice has no ships with which to send
off their troops to die of malaria, oozing up from
the paddyfields of the East.
In presence, therefore, of this universal orgie of
misgovernment and predatory warfare, known as
Christianity, is it strange that China has become
confused, and, mistaking aggressive barbarity for
legitimate defence, has decided to "better the in
struction?" »» Peregrinus.
Paris, July 24, 1900.
•* Merchant of Venice, Act III, Sc. 1.

270

THE TEMPORAL POWER.

From the Herald.
To the Editor of the Herald:
In your paper of the 9th inst. there is republished
from the Daily Mail, under the heading "The Duke
of Norfolk Creates a Sensation," an article contain
ing almost as many errors as it does statements.
The Daily Mail's correspondent can hardly have
read the duke's speech, much less have heard it
pronounced, as his style of writing would imply, or
he would know that the words "restoration of the
teraporal power" nowhere occur in it.
The speech was a declaration of the unreserved
adherence of English Catholics to the principles of
full independence for the Pope from any temporal
sovereign or State, and of the inherent rights of the
Church to untrammelled freedom in the exercise of
her apostolic raission.
The sentiraents of the speech did not differ from
those of the Pope's repeated declarations and pro
tests, nor from those of the countless resolutions
271

THE TEMPORAL POWER
and addresses from Catholic comraunities through
out all Christendom.
If by "people" is meant the Liberal press and
the anti-Catholic elements in the city, then the
correspondent is, of course, right. But I submit
that his description is inexact and misleading.
His confiscation of the Voce della Verita and the
Osservatore is equally fictitious, and the speech has
been freely reported in all the papers. The only
suggestion of rioting was raade by one of the lesser
papers, which sustained that the English should be
hissed out of Rome.
This uproar in the Liberal press of Italy, and the
Protestant press elsewhere, is the latest deraonstra
tion of the falsity of the actual position created for
the Papacy by the occupation of Rorae.
By the Laws of Guarantees the Vatican is stiU
Papal territory, the Pope still an independent sover
eign, free to maintain what relations he may see fit
with all the world, and accessible to his spiritual
children who come to pay him homage.
The phrases "freedom of speech" and "liberty of
the press" are constantly in the mouths of the Lib
erals, and yet any expression of dissent from the
abnormal position of the Pope and the Church is
perfectly intolerable to these apostles of freedom.
The Duke of Norfolk's speech voices the senti-
272

THE TEMPORAL POWER
ments of all loyal and well-informed Catholics, in
cluding millions of ItaUans, whose independence of
governraent favor allows them to avow their opin
ions, not to mention unnumbered others to whom
government approval and patronage is daily bread
and whose raouths are closed. Consistency.
Rome, January 12, 1901.

Now, What Do You Think of Yourself?
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald pretends to be an irapartial paper ; it
remains to be seen if it opens its columns only to
those who are saturated with dogma. The point
that "Consistency" seems to wish to raake is, that
the "temporal power" is a question of general appli
cation. As long as a personage of the undoubted
purity of character of Leon XIII. fills the Pontifical
seat, all may be well. But if there should corae
along a gentleraan like Cardinal Del Monte, elected
Pope as Jules III. in 1550, who gave the red hat
to a lackey because the fellow took such good care
of the Pope's favorite monkey ! **
The previous professional occupation of such a
possible successor to St. Peter would be in keeping
" Bourcier, Litterature de la Cour de Henri II.
273

THE TEMPORAL POWER
with Voltaire's dictum: Tant qu'il y aura des fri-
pons et des imbeciles, il y aura des religions.*"
Paris, January 15, .goi. O^E OF THE PEOPLE.

Effectiveness of Slang.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Duke of Norfolk's letter to the Times, with
reference to the "teraporal power," affords a fine
opportunity of showing the effectiveness of slang.
"Norfolk" calmly proves that the Pope "only
wants the earth."
Paris, January 21, r90T. ARGOT.

Looking Into Her " H€roicit€."
Editor Herald:
Where can I get a true history of Jeanne d'Arc?
I'm told La Pucelle is raisleading, and that although
the Pope has just looked into her "heroicite," she
isn't really alive, but died long ago. Some say she
got her name because she was "femme de charabre"
on Noah's boat. Others say that, even if she is now
"tres-rechurchee," she was originally a free mason
and built the Arc de Triomphe. Please answer.
Paris, January nth. "A STUDENT."
" A Fr^d&ic IL, Lettre 232.
274

THE TEMPORAL POWER
The Same Old World.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — Are the papers right in saying that the
members of the Diplomatic Corps, on being pre
sented, kissed the Pope's "mule" ? If it is true that
the representatives of Great Britain and the United
States performed this side-splitting function, then
the world is not greatly changed since Fontenelle
wrote : "La terre est une planete qui va par les cieux
toute couverte de fous." *^ "A Student."
Paris, August loth.
Protest Against Decision of Free-Thinkers to Hold
Their Congress in Rome.
To the New York Herald:
Sir, — Will you perrait a protest, through your
widely-circulated journal, against the puerile decis
ion of the Free-Thinkers to hold their congress in
Rorae ? If they are Free-Thinkers, why go to Rome
to do as Romans do ? Why not hold the congress in
London or St. Petersburg? Frederick the Great, a
practical Free-Thinker, said: One religion is as il
logical as another, and to attack one's religion is to
attack one's egotism in its "last ditch." *^^ And
" Entretiens sur la Plurality des Mondes. 3me Soir.
*'' Attaquer la religion regue dans un pays, c'est attaquer dans
son dernier retranchement l'amour propre des hommes, qui leur
fait preferer un sentiment et la foi de leurs pferes k toute autre
crfence. — Frfid. II. k Voltaire, Lettre 21.
275

THE TEMPORAL POWER
Free-Thinkers, in vaunting their principles in the
face of the Vatican, are but servUely copying one of
the church's most objectionable features, viz., the
tendency to theatrical display. Religion, with its
cognate qualities, imagination and fear, is a part of
human iraraaturity. And as the world has out
grown religion,*^ why should Free-Thinkers, with
their ex-cathedra fulminations, try to re-establish it
by adopting its principal defect — ^the tyranny of dog
raatic teaching! Conclusion: Birds of a feather
fiock together !
"A Free Thinker Who is Not a Jesuit."
Paris, September r5th.

Extract from Letter of M. Berthelot.
La science que nous representons impose ses di
rections dans tous les ordres, industriel, politique,
militaire, educateur, et surtout raoral, en s'appuyant
exclusiveraent sur les lois naturelles, constatees a
posteriori par les observations et les experimenta
tions des savants de tout genre: physiciens et me-
caniciens, aussi bien qu'historiens et economistes,
chimistes, medecins et naturalistes, aussi bien que
psychologues et sociologues.
Le Matin, September 20, r904.
" La religion actuelle que le vulgaire croit antique a 6t& faite
par les papes qui ont r^gn^ depuis le concile de Trente. — Stendhal.
276

THE TEMPORAL POWER
Refused by the Herald.
To the Herald:
Will you allow one comraent raore upon the Free
Thinkers' Congress in Rome. For, despite his un
answerable a posteriori exposition, M. Berthelot's
pre-announced letter in the Matin — evidently a re
ply to one in your paper signed "A Free Thinker
who is not a Jesuit" — shows that M. Berthelot has
virtually "gone over to Rome." Instead of raaking
war on religion in general — instead of realizing that
Roman Catholicism is an absolute surrender of intel
lectual being, and that Protestantism is merely an ef
fort to exaggerate it, M. Berthelot attacks that form
of worship which is the least destructive, viz., that
of Rome, for it appeals the least to the intelligence.
Does M. Berthelot not know that the Church of
England shipped great masses of Non-Conformists
to the West Indies under conditions that make recent
slave ships seera like palaces of floating luxury ! **
That the Puritans, in their turn, burned witches in
New England, and that the action of the raanly but
insane old George III. to counteract New England
massacres led to the protest called the American rev
olution ; that "Methodism" — unfortunately the chief
electoral support of Mr. Roosevelt — finds its true ex-
" Hakluyt's Voyages, Vol. III.
277

THE TEMPORAL POWER
pression in the "camp meeting," where, it is com
monly said, "more souls are raade than saved !" M.
Berthelot has abandoned the broad field of abstrac
tion for the petty corner of persecution, and perse
cution always vivifies. And as these latter-day pil-
griras are seen actively visiting the interesting spots
of the historic city, the world will conclude that the
chief result of the Congress is the pleasurable task
of corabining duty with inclination.
Another Free Thinker
Who is not a Jesuit.

278

SAINT ANTOINE DE PARIS.

Good Will on Earth.
To the Editor of the Herald:
When the Herald and the Matin have stopped
bowing and scraping to each other, perhaps the Her
ald will "let up" on giving the social doings of fash
ionable drones, "qui se sont donne la peine de nai-
tre," ** and pay some attention to the political prog
ress being made by the people.
For the London Times admits that the chief char
acteristic of Queen Victoria's reign is the triumph of
democracy ; the Pope of Rome, in his last Encyclical,
speaks of the democratic chretienne, and "Saint An
toine de Paris," who, for a consideration, recovers
everything that has been lost, except, of course,
common sense, describes the process of plucking
** Mariage de Figaro, Acte V, Sc. 3.
Un grand seigneur de la cour de Louis XV. avait contume de
rep^ter chaque matin en se regardant dans son miroir: Dieu
t'a fait gentilhomme, le roi t'a fait due, un gros heritage t'a fait
riche, il faut maintenant que tu te f asses quelque chose pour toi;
tu vas te faire la barbe. 279

SAINT ANTOINE DE PARIS
"bipeds without feathers"*^ as "le miracle demo-
cratique." "Make yourselves honey, and the wasps will de
vour you." *^ We, "the common herd," have been
"honey" long enough; for a time we must become
"wasps," but at the present rate of progress we shall
soon establish an era of the only true dograa : Good
will on earth. One of the People.
Paris, January 30, 1901. From the Herald.
Advice for " One of the People."
To the Editor of the Herald:
The writer of a letter, signed "One of the People,"
that appears in to-day's issue of your paper, says
that Saint Antoine de Paris (Saint Antoine de
Padua is, probably, meant) "recovers everything
that is lost, except, of course, common sense." But
perhaps your correspondent does not know that per
severance in prayer is one of the conditions for its
success. I, therefore, strongly advise "One of the
People" to go on praying to Saint Antoine for the
recovery of the lost property alluded to and not to
write to the Herald again till it is found.
Paris, February 4, i9or. A CATHOLIC READER.
*' Plato selon Anarcharsis. — Voyage en Gr&ce.
*' Don Quixote. 280

SAINT ANTOINE DE PARIS
What Does He Mean?
To the Editor of the Herald:
The letter of January 30th was, to quote Dean
Swift, "one levelled to the meanest intelligence,"
and if "Catholic Reader" could not comprehend it,
why it is an affair between himself and his Creator.
"Saint Antoine de Paris" was named (see the Siecle
of January 30th), and, as "Catholic Reader" does
not seera to know of hira, his letter is proof of the
fact — once charged against "Garter, King at Arras,"
who got his "arraorial bearings" all mixed up — "you
don't even understand your own silly business."
One of the People.
Paris, February 7, 1901.

From the Herald.
Saint Antoine de Paris.
To the Editor of the Herald:
I should think that whether "One of the People"
prays to Saint Antoine under his new title of "de
Paris," or under the older and better known one of
"de Padua," could scarcely prevent the efficacy of
the prayer. Still, I ara forced to infer frora the letter
appearing in to-day's issue of your paper that your
correspondent has not yet recovered the lost property
281

SAINT ANTOINE DE PARIS
alluded to in his former letter. But I hope he wiU
be able to see that if I have not sufficient inteUigence
to understand my own "silly business" I can hardly
be expected to comprehend his !
A Catholic Reader.
Paris, February 18, igoi.

Time's Changes.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Some one hundred and forty years ago a young
man, the Chevalier de La Barre, was broken on the
wheel for singing a comic song as a procession of
raonks went by, some thirty metres off; but now a
corresponding act elicits only a snarling letter in the
Herald. It is well to note the change, even if it be
not admitted by those described by Juvenal as "ster-
iles moriuntur." *^
One of the People.
Paris, February 21, 1901.
" Satires, II., 140.

282

MR. RUDYARD KIPLING.

Mr. Rudyard Kipling.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald seems to vie with other journals in
publishing details of the personality of Mr. Rudyard
Kipling, "whose mother," to use American slang,
"must have been very fond of children to have raised
him": one who, to be more classical, may be de
scribed as: A thwart disnatured torment."
His soldiers are nothing but drunken brutes, and
he, although the subject of a female sovereign, has,
as an author, persistently tried to degrade the char
acter of woman.
And one is terapted to paraphrase what Tilton
said of Beecher : " I do not believe in total deprav
ity, but Rudyard Kipling's case shakes ray faith."
An Anti-Imperialist.
Paris, January, r9oi.
** King Lear, Act I, Sc. 4.
283

MR. RUDYARD KIPLING
That Sale of Chinese Girls.
To the Editor of the Herald:
If the report in the French papers, and dated New
York, February 9th, is true, that five Chinese young
girls were "examined and sold at public auction in
the city of San Francisco for some 2,000 dollars
a-piece," then it is evident that Rudyard Kipling's
works must be largely read on the "Pacific Slope";
and the history of the region could be condensed into
his two lines :
"Where there are no ten commandments,
And the climate makes a. thirst."
An Anti-Imperialist.
Paris, February 18, igoi.

Some Points on Human Nature.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Mrs. Gallup, Mrs. Eddy, and Rudyard Kipling *°
— all three exotics — seem to have reduced the "Isl
anders" to a state of "nervous prostration," which is
"It is said in England that Mr. Kipling is an Eurasian.
This would explain Mr. Kipling's confused sense of right and
wrong as shown in his Imperialism and in his well known and ex
pressed disbelief in the purity of woman. A high English official,
who lived in India, once said to the vmter : There is not a sneak
ing London pickpocket that is not more honorable than a native
Indian man ; and not a degraded English strtimpet that does
not surpass in virtue a native Indian woman.
284

MR. RUDYARD KIPLING
fast degenerating into hysteria, for now the Times
refers to the British uniforra as a door mat.'*"'
England's Apostle of murder and lust has always
held that man was only a throat-cutting animal and
that all women were natural candidates for the sis
terhood described by the Congress, soon to meet, as
"white slavery."
But Voltaire asserts that human nature is different
in England from what it is elsewhere ; '^ and as a
proof of this is the fact, that when, sorae years ago,
the Prince of Wales visited Aldershot, an isolated
hospital for special "carap" diseases had in large let
ters over the door : Welcorae.
If Junius were alive he would probably "ap
proach" ^2 the King, before his coronation, and tell
him: "Imperaturus es hominibus qui nec totam
servitutem pati possunt nec totam libertatem." "*'
An Anti-Imperialist.
Paris, January, 1902. Refused by the Herald,
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald's parti-pris to prevent Americans from
discussing the Boer war in its columns is in strange
contrast with Lord Coleridge's reference in the
^'' The Times criticising German censures.
'' Lettres Anglaises. " Letter 35. " Tacitus, Hist. I, 16.
285

MR. RUDYARD KIPLING
House of Lords to that precursor of modern British
methods, the immortal Jeffreys.
Lord Coleridge probably knows, with all the
world, that one of the squad that fired on Scheepers
was so affected by the sight of the emaciated invalid
that he — vomited.
The London Times "boiled with indignation" over
the Dreyfus affair, but its Paris correspondent,
whose "heart beat so violently" ^* at the Rennes trial
that it had to be put under pressure, is now discuss
ing — ^the "scrutin de liste" ; although the debate in
the House of Lords shows that Dreyfus affairs are
going on every day all over South Africa.
It is evident that England is fast substituting
Rudyard Kipling for John Harapden as the director
of its political conscience. An Internationalist.
Paris, March, 1902.
'^Vide Times, September ir, 1899.

286

MR. MORETON FREWEN AND
BIMETALLISM.

From the Herald,
Mr. Bryan Could Not Do It.
To the Editor of the Herald:
I have read with interest the queries you address
to Mr. Bryan as to his silver policy if elected.
Mr. Bryan might as well have replied that he
could not pay the obligations of the public debt in
silver, or redeera greenbacks or the legal tenders of
1890 in silver dollars, for the reason that he would
have no dollars (at least no considerable number of
dollars) to pay out.
It would be unfortunate if the Herald's questions
were to alarm a community raost sensitive, and I
might add most ignorant, where questions of cur
rency are concerned, so that the idea might get about
that Mr. Bryan or any other could unload vast suras
in silver dollars. Moreton Frewen.
Hotel Ritz, Paris, September 2, rgoo.
287

MR. MORETON FREWEN
Read This, Mr. Frewen.
To the Edi'.or of the Herald:
Mr. Moreton Frewen has been such a painstaking
biraetallist that silence could have continued its trib
ute to his sincerity had he not, in a letter to the Her
ald, been bold enough to classify Americans as "a
community — most ignorant, where questions of cur
rency are concerned."
How astonished Burke would have been at the
ease with which an indictment has been framed
against a whole people!
But it is possible that Mr. Frewen will not con
sider his own authority unduly diminished if one
quotes that of the equally great Montesquieu: "II
n'y a personne qui ne sache que I'or et I'argent ne
sont qu'une richesse de fiction ou de signe. Comme
ces signes sont tres durables et se detruisent peu
corarae il convient a leur nature, il arrive que plus iis
se multiplient plus iis perdent de leur prix, parce
qu'ils representent raoins de chose." °°
Nemo.
Brittany, September 5, 1900.
''' Opuscule sur La Monarchie UniverseUe.

288

DOCTORS AND VIVISECTION.

The Medical Profession.
To the Editor of the Herald:
One word in support of "I. B.'s" letter in your is
sue of yesterday. The medical profession by its ex-
cathedra contempt for ratiocination has for centuries
caused needless suffering to mankind. And this in
proof : before 1830 fever patients were kept in closely
shut up rooms, frora which fresh air was naturally
excluded, were forbidden to drink water although
martyrized with thirst ; but toward 1830 several Ital
ian ships reached New York City with so many cases
of fever aboard that the hospitals were soon full to
overflowing, and the surplus sick had to be put in
tents. Consequently loud outcries as to the barbarity
of subjecting invalids to exposure, etc. The result
was that raost of the hospital patients died and the
others — ^thanks to fresh air — ^got well. Hence a rev
olution in the treatraent of fever. The dicta of med
icine are often as insolent as the verdict of Lourdes,
viz., if one has a rechute it is because of want of
faith. Every one knows, too, that medicine has its
fads. At one time every self-respecting person
289

DOCTORS AND VIVISECTION
died of appendicitis, and it may raise the hair of a
bald-headed scientist for one to apply to the Pasteur
treatment of hydrophobia : Falsus in uno, falsus in
omnibus. And if vivisectors have so little confidence
in their experiments that they raust demand heavy
damages whenever their methods are criticized, the
public will soon revert to Dr. Johnson's definition of
medicine : The art of entertaining the patient while
Nature perfects the cure.^^ Advena.
Paris, November 27th.
Ridmg Thek Hobby.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Despite Madame de Silva's protest in to-day's
Herald, the "infamous Coleridge verdict" wUl proba
bly lead professional men to claim a larger share than
ever of the phenomena of thought. At present cler
gymen and warriors imagine they are heaven-bom
financiers and advocate Protection with all the au
dacity of one who "seeras to see the things he does
not." ^* Lawyers turn to religion. Most of them
becorae Presbyterians; thereby eraphasizing Vol
taire's dictum that: Chicanery, Presbyterianism,
and Jesuitism are three heads of the sarae reptile."
'* BosweU's Life of Johnson.
"• King Lear, Act IV, Sc. r.
" Vous voyez que les presbyl^riens ne valent pas mieux que
les j&uites. — A d'Alembert, Lettre 98.
290

DOCTORS AND VIVISECTION
Vivisectors may be dismissed with the following:
"What are you doing?" said the witty Williara M.
Evarts to a poor lunatic in an insane asylura who
was jumping on and off the corner of a billiard table,
"riding a hobby ?" "No, you fool," replied the luna
tic, "it's a horse." "You're not," said Evarts, "it's a
hobby." "You lie," retorted the idiot, "one gets off
a horse, never off a hobby."
Paris, December 4th. "A PHAGOCYTE."

" A Phagocyte " Lives Up to His Medical
Reputation.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The letter of Mr. E. Rothomagos, in to-day's
Herald, serves only to prove that one cannot rise
much above the water in which he is swimming.
Mr. Rothomagos fails utterly to remove the dis
grace still attached to the medical profession by rea
son of the "infamous Coleridge verdict." When a
knife is put into the hands of a surgeon, public opin
ion in no way or raanner gives up its rights as a
court of ultiraate appeal ; the part is not yet greater
than the whole. A certain Roman declared that his
wife was above suspicion,^' and ever since men of
character have used his saying as a favorite weapon
of defence. He did not bring a suit for damages ;
^ Plutarch, Life of Caesar.
291

DOCTORS AND VIVISECTION
such an act would have lowered him to the level of
the most despicable creature that can exist : "un mari
complaisant." But the world takes good note of
methods that endorse Boerhaave's maxira: Tenez-
vous la tete froide, le ventre libre, les pieds chauds
et moquez-vous des medecins.
A Phagocyte.
Paris, December i6th.

Was This the Reason of Methuselah's Longevity?
To the Editor of the Herald:
The remarkable silence of "Science and Truth" in
regard to the "infamous Coleridge verdict" raakes
one think that the professor's chair is — in another
sense — like a pulpit, six feet above the possibility of
a reply. However, the public can reflect in its tum.
Methuselah lived to be 750 years old; the raedical
profession did not then exist. But they got poor
Fontenelle down to 100 years, and yet, according to
Moliere, all that doctors knew in his tirae was how
to drive a stubbom raule over the bumpy streets of
Paris.'" Now, with "drug stores" on every other
corner, a man of eighty is regarded as an advertising
agent. "What must you do to escape the horrors of
hell ?" said some one to little Jane Eyre. "I suppose
»» L' Amour M^decin, Acte II, Sc. 3.
292

DOCTORS AND VIVISECTION
I raust keep well and not die," she replied. So, to
avoid being "sawed" and "physicked" to death, the
world should return to natural laws of health and
reraeraber Gil Bias de Santillane's theory : the doctor
merely scribbles something on a piece of paper, leav
ing the pharmacien to do all the work.
"Impransus."
Paris, December 7th.
A Pig With a Charmed Life.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The world would like to have the opinion of the
grand Virchow, "patientissiraus veri," '" as to the
raodern definition of "Science" : Silence or Chant
age. The action of the fraternity in regard to the
beneficiary of the "infaraous Coleridge verdict" re
calls the experience of a Colorado raining carap: a
workman left a pail of dynamite uncovered; a pig
came along and ate three quarts of it, and until it
was digested he bore a charmed life; no one dared
to kick hira or go near him for fear he would ex
plode. The names of prorainent vivisectors should
be exposed on the walls of every anti-vivisection so
ciety, put in gilt fraraes so as to be "well hung."
"Advena."
Paris, December 8th.
•"Tacitus, De Oratoribus, VIII.
293

DOCTORS AND VIVISECTION
Methuselah.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — "Anti-Humbug" is simply taking up the
Herald's space in a vain attempt to display his
smartness. I said distinctly that no one below a cer
tain rank could spend intelligently more than $3,000
a year.*^ With his medical advice one would say,
but for his name, that "Anti-Humbug" was a vivi-
sector. Because a great Church grew strong on a
Diet of Worms and a Diet of Spires, I suppose we
will all soon eat nothing but microbes. Methuselah
did not live to be 969 or even 750 years old. David
says man's life is "three score years and ten." °^^
"An American."
Paris, December 20th.

From a Student, but Not a Doctor Yet.
Mr. Editor, — I'm not a doctor yet, but if, as Mr.
Sandlands says, people need not drink, why the kid
neys? Mr. Sandlands forgets the brothers Elra —
one ninety-three, who had never touched tobacco nor
tasted liquor, and the other ninety-five, who had used
" L'homme de godt et vraiment voluptueux n'a que faire de
richesse; il lui suffit d'etre Ubre et maitre de lui. — Rousseau,
Emile, Livre IV.
"'Psalms, xc, ro. 294

DOCTORS AND VIVISECTION
tobacco and drunk liquor all his life — which led
Lord Mansfield to say, "That proves the Elra wiU
flourish wet or dry."
I'ra only in Paris since a short time, but I like Mr.
Sandlands' advice: "Sin with impunity." It's far
better than the siraple life. Where can I get sorae
of Professor Metchnikoff's food for phagocytes?
I'ra enjoying myself so rauch in "gay Paree," I sus
pect the phagocytes are fast eating up the Puritan
raicrobes I brought over, and I don't want the pesky
little "white globules" to feed afterwards on what
Lecky calls "unexplained superabundance." *^ Not
yet, you bet ! "Medical Student."
Paris, January i6th.

" Medical Student," Your Address, if You Please.
Mr. Herald,— Will "Medical Student" kindly
send me his address ? I've a great deal of gout and
rheumatics this winter and doctors say it's from
what I eat and drink. I tried a course of the simple
life, but I got so sour my friends said I was a corru
gated old humbug, always talking about "the good
old times," when I meant "the good young times."
I never heard of phagocytes before. Do they corae
in packages or bottles? I'll gladly take sorae of
" History of European Morals.
295

DOCTORS AND VIVISECTION
"Medical Student's." He's right. We Americans
all suffer frora Puritan microbes. I enclose my ad
dress. "An ex-Gambler."
Paris, January i8th.
[The address has not been enclosed.]

From the Herald.
P.S. — May I take this opportunity of saying to
"Medical Student" :
I. Elra 93 or 95 proves only 95 was better than
93 : otherwise it is "nihil ad rera."
2. The kidneys have work enough to do in per
forraing the necessary. The unnecessary may be re
strained. About 80 per cent, of what we eat is
liquid. 3. "Sin with impunity" is intended to show how
far a man raay safely go in obeying Martin Luther,
"If you will sin, sin like a man."
J. P. Sandlands.

Refused by the Herald.
I'm sorry I got into a discussion with Mr. Sand
lands. I'm not yet of an "acabit," to hold my own.
Yet, despite what Dr. Doyen says about cancer, I
maintain boldly that it is not good to eat.
296

DOCTORS AND VIVISECTION
As to 93 and 95, Mr. Sandlands must fight it out
with Lord Mansfield. I haven't time to dispute.
For even if I follow Luther's plan — "sin like a
man" — I shall be quite as busy as I care to be while
in Paris. Besides, I'm now loaded with advice ; for
ray family and friends sent me over last Christmas
seven copies of "The Siraple Life." As to the kid
neys, Mr. Sandlands' plan seeras one of elimination,
which would cause many of the natural functions to
stop working. Surely Mr. Sandlands must know
that there are already 108 parts of the huraan body
that are superfluous — fallen into disuse. It is ad
raitted that the sense of smell is fast disappearing.
Mr. Sandlands, therefore, would probably suppress
noses. I propose to keep mine.
"Said Moses to Aaron,
'Tis the fashion to wear 'em."
Medical Student.
Paris, January 20th.

297

THE RUSSO-JAPANESE WAR.

Those Turbulent Islanders.
Editor Herald:
Prevented by professional duties from expressing
my opinions as to the Russo-Japanese difficulty, I
like the way you are standing up for peace against
the whole British press. Little islands like England
and Japan, "compassed by the inviolate sea," °^ are
raore prone to war than other people, because it
never coraes home to them. Napoleon said: "To
get rid of a Russian you must first kill him, then
knock him down." Now huge numbers of Japs eat
nothing but raw fish and beans, with rice a rare lux
ury; and Admiral Alexeieff has only to quote the
blunt old English admiral, about to attack a large
Spanish force with a handful of sailors: "Here,
you men that feed on good English beef and drink
strong English ale, you ought to be ashamed if you
let yourselves be beat by fellows that live on oranges
and lemon juice." °* "A Boot-Black."
Lutetia, January 22, 1904.
'^ Tennyson, To the Queen.
" The Table TaUc of John Selden.
298

THE RUSSO-JAPANESE WAR
"An IntemationaUst's " Views.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The only conclusion possible from the opinions of
Professor Woolsey and Mr. Sidney Webster, in to
day's Herald, in regard to Japan's method of "com
mencing hostilities" against Russia is that, hereafter,
the world must substitute perfidy for good faith in
its international relations. °^^ Ex-Secretary Long
asserts that Mr. Roosevelt advised Mr. McKinley to
"smash" the Spanish fleet before its arrival in Cuba,
and this when Spain and the United States were at
peace. If such an act raust be accepted as "interna
tional usage," to quote the words of Messrs. Wool
sey and Webster, then, "pari passu," the "blowing
up of the Maine" should be considered as a natural
and effective way of announcing that war is con
templated. The consequences of war are too far-
reaching for one not to protest against an attempt
to break down dny of the barriers already imposed
by civilization, and M. d'Estournelles de Constant,
in to-day's Matin, voices the wish of huraanity in
general by advocating "L'Union des Etats d'Eu
rope." '"' "An Internationalist."
Paris, February 13, 1904.
"•Vide United States official Diplomatic Correspondence,
made public April 13, 1905, as to Japan's promise that hostiUties
should not begin until war had been formally declared.
"La Revolution franf aise a form^, au-dessus de toutes les
299

THE RUSSO-JAPANESE WAR
The Duke Forgot the Boots.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Professor Woolsey and Mr. Sidney Webster, in
defending Japanese methods, evidently did not re
member the "blowing up of the Maine," which
caused such natural indignation not only in the
United States but throughout the civilized world.
And one is reminded of the famous Duke of Wel
lington-Lord Broughara incident. "You, ray lord,
said Wellington, angry with hira, "will be remem
bered, not for having been a great lawyer, nor for
having written profound philosophical essays, but
for having given your name to a peculiar style of
carriage." "And your Grace," retorted Brougham,
"will be remembered, not for having gained the bat
tles of Vittoria and Waterloo, but for having given
your name to a peculiar style of boots." "Oh I" said
Wellington, "Damn the boots, I forgot 'em."
"HiSTORICUS."
Paris, February 17th.
nationaUtfe particuUferes, une patrie inteUectueUe commune dont
les hommes de toutes les nations ont pu devenir citoyens. —
L' Ancien Regime et La Revolution par Alexis de Tocqueville,
Liv. I, chap. III.

300

THE RUSSO-JAPANESE WAR
Japan Has Provoked Unnecessary War.
To the Editor of the Herald:
In view of "Censor's" letter in to-day's issue, will
you permit another reader — who is sometimes impa
tient with your conservatism — to confirm what you
have recently said of the Herald's consistent and per
sistent advocacy of intelligent Peace. In the Span
ish-American war, the Herald was almost the only
great American journal that was not "hysterical."
At a time when the "yellow" press was prepared to
float sensational issues printed in blood-red ink, the
Herald "showed up" the contract-scenting Congress
men, shrieking out "their readiness to die in de
fence," etc., etc., etc., etc.*^ One United States Sen
ator said "that, like Quintus Curtius, he was willing
to jurap into the yawning chasra at his country's
call." A Western Senator replied: "He did not
know Mr. Curtis, but would follow the gentleman's
example." During the Boer war the Herald — with
a clientele largely English — ^battled manfully for
what the Continent of Europe considered "outraged
humanity." And it is additional evidence of the
Herald's journalistic independence that Mr. A. Co-
" Et curare cutem summi constantia civis. — Juvenal, Sat.
II, 105. Tutius est igitur fictis contendere verbis,
Quam pugnare manu. — Ovid, Met. XIII, i, 10.
301

THE RUSSO-JAPANESE WAR
nan Doyle was compensated with knighthood for
telling what he conceived to be the truth. The Her
ald's palpable contention that Japan has provoked
an unnecessary war will receive confirmation when
Japan asks England and the United States for
money. With Consols fallen frora 114 to 85, Eng
lish capitalists know that Japanese bonds will be
cheaper at the end than at the beginning of the war.
As a result of war inflation, Araericans have already
been "plastered" with "Industrials," etc., which in
fifteen raonths have shrunk 3,000 million dollars
(vide ofiicial report United States Secretary of the
Treasury). The Herald observes what President
Roosevelt preaches to his people: Courtesy, mod
eration, and self-restraint. But the two self-claimed
"leading joumals" of England and the United
States were well described by Cicero: Quura alter
verura audire non vult, alter ad raentiendura para
tus est,'' or, one doesn't like the truth and the other
can't tell it. "X."
Paris, March nth.
" A Boot-Black " on the PhiUppines.
Mr. Editor:
Captain Barber is right about the Philippines, and
Lieutenant Sartoris is wrong. While I was adding
" De Amicitia, 98.
302

THE RUSSO-JAPANESE WAR
lustre to his understanding I heard a French ad
rairal, who built the great Japanese arsenals, say that
to utilize the Philippines the Americans must first
behead every one of the ten raillion cut-throats there,
and then move the whole 1,200 islands from under
the sun up into habitable latitudes. But if Lieuten
ant Sartoris thinks the United States should quail
before a "veneered" civilization, he'd better remera
ber Bisraarck's speech to a Gerraan princeling : We
hatched the chicken, and, — you, we can wring its
neck. "A Boot-Black."
Lutetia, October 27th.

The Acumen of the " American Federation of
Labor " Where " Veneer " Is Concerned.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — The Morning Post's plausible "leader" that
Japan is a new brain power — an original force in
the world's moveraent — seems a justification of Eng
land's alliance with a nation that can temporarily in
jure Russia, and not a statement of fact. The
Post tries to discredit Ranke and Freeraan that "the
vital movement of history was to be sought in the
development of European nations and their off
shoots." But these writers have simply followed
Montesquieu, who formulated the theory — ^the out-
303

THE RUSSO-JAPANESE WAR
come of experience — ^that soil and climate make a
people,"* and that consequently the highest type of
man will always be found on the most advantageous
ground, viz., the continent of Europe. Japan, it is
true, has astonished the world; but she has shown
ingenuity and not creative force in adopting ideas
evolved in the long processes of European thought.
And if the axiom is true, as of old, that a nation
must be judged by its literature, what can be said of
a people whose brain power, after centuries of
isolated progress, culrainated in eroticisra ? "° The
highest intellectual developraent known to man ex
isted for about 150 years in Greece. Where is Greece
to-day ? And until Japan has stood the test of time
it is logical to assert that her new-fashioned civiliza
tion is only a "veneer." And the action of the
"American Federation of Labor" — "demanding the
exclusion of Japanese from Araerican soil" — is a sig
nificant answer to the Post's conclusions that the
world "including the United States," must now take
Japan into the family of nations.
Paris, le 22 novembre. "DiPLOMATICUS."
" " Le sol et le climat exercent plus d'influence sur le developpe-
ment des societes humaines que les predispositions hereditaires
du sang et de la race."
" In proof of the depth of this tendency, recaU the toys, in
imitation of carts on wheels, given to Japanese children to drag
in the streets.

THE RUSSO-JAPANESE WAR
From the Herald.
Is He Only an Occidental Gas-bag ?
Sir, — We the other day observed in the Herald
this rather reckless stateraent by a person signing
hiraself irapressively "Diploraaticus."
"What can be said of a people (the Japanese)
whose brain power, after centuries of isolated prog
ress, culminated in eroticism?"
It might be entertaining to hear "Diploraaticus"
expound his thesis — if it is founded on any more
serious investigation than a fumoir appreciation (?)
of some prints of the Outaraaro school of Yoshiwara
inspiration, who only correspond in vogue and value
with their French contemporaries, Moreau, Eisen,
and their followers. How we should smile if an
Oriental gas-bag were to asphyxiate the Far East
with the yellow fallacy that the culture of France,
after centuries of brain power, culrainated in the
decorative "decoletees" of Fragonard and in the
erotic literary arabesques of the "Divine Marquis" !
Will "Diploraaticus" waive modesty and admit
that though he, of course, knows the language, the
history, the prose and poetry of Japan, he cannot
syrapathize with their religion, arts, and soul. Even
so he raust adrait that the brain power of their states
men, soldiers, and sailors to-day appear to be cul-
305

THE RUSSO-JAPANESE WAR
minating in something higher than eroticism —
rather Heroicism! Now then, "Diploraaticus,"
show us for what you got your diploma. Yours
faithfully. "Only a Ticus."

The Blinding Glare of CiviUzation and Old Europe
Showing Her False Teeth.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — It is not difficult to trace "Only a Ticus' "
letter back to its source. The time taken for a reply
reveals the half-bewildered condition of a nation just
emerged from coraparative barbarisra and con
fronted with the dazzling glare of civilization; and
it is a further proof of this partly-constructed mental
raachinery that "Only a Ticus" tries to answer ar
gument with a sneer.
"Only a Ticus" should not "pose" as an inteUect
ual athlete in such a discussion until Japan has sub
stituted recognized warfare for "Yankee" cunning,
until Japan realizes that it is better to maintain an
honorable self-defence than to indulge in criminal
slaughter, and until the brain power of this embry
onic but promising people has developed, so that it
can see that now it is only a pawn in a game played
by a Power which, taking advantage of all "the
weapons that God and Nature have put into our
306

THE RUSSO-JAPANESE WAR
hands," began with the North American Indian,
went on with the Hessian, and which would have
used "Dum-dum" bullets in the Boer war but that
Europe, remembering the Schleswig-Holstein prece
dent, "showed its teeth." "Diplomaticus."
Paris, December 14th.

From the Herald.
What's the Matter With His Ears?
Sir, — I love "Diploraaticus," his coat is so warra !
Though still incoherent he eats out of one's hand.
It does hira good. Give him lots of air, kind Editor,
and open his cell when the sun shines.
In the Schleswig-Holstein precedent a little alum
in the water gave relief, but watch his ears.
Versailles, December r7th. "OnLY A TiCUS."

" L'Enfant du Silence."
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — "Spreta exolescunt; si irascare, agnita vi
dentur." '•* "Only a Ticus' " last utterance shows
that he does not realize that "Versailles" is always
associated with "I'enfant du silence.'"'^
Paris, le 20 decembre. "DiPLOMATICUS."
" Tacitus, Ann. IV, 34. " Chroniques de I'CEU de Boeuf.
307

THE RUSSO-JAPANESE WAR
Is the American Tuming Yellow by Infiltration ?
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — Having just returned frora a visit to the
United States, after an absence of many years, I
think I can explain the prejudice of the Araerican
people for the Japanese in a way that will excite the
interest, if not the approval, of your readers. "Bon
chien chasse de race." And close observation shows
that this prejudice is due to the slow but subtle prog
ress in the United States of negro influence, now as
suming such proportions that Mr. Roosevelt recog
nizes it as a political factor. It is no secret that the
American is no longer pure Anglo-Saxon. The in
filtration of the negro element is not undesirable ; the
lobes of a negro brain are filled with the quality
called imagination, which the Anglo-Saxon lacks.
The Herald is, like myself, a firm partisan of facts.
It is a pleasure to get back to it after an experience
with the American press. The only literary product
in the United States free frora bias is the New York
City Directory. "A Louisiana Negro."
Paris, February i8th.

308

THE RUSSO-JAPANESE WAR
"Puzzled" Gropes for the Light (of Asia?).
To the Editor of the Herald:
Sir, — With the fall of Port Arthur, the Eraperor
of Japan can now answer the semi-official "prayer"
of the United States for "his regeneration of Asia."
The "prayer," it is true, did not state if the "regen
eration" should extend to India; which would be
awkward, for Lord Curzon says: "Without India,
England could not exist." However, the Morning
Post has not yet, in "large type," thanked Mr. Loo
rais, of the United States State Department, for his
pertinent telegram. As the Morning Post has, since
the last Presidential election, assumed a sort of
motherly control of the United States, perhaps it has
concluded that the United States State Departraent
does not know that India is a part of Asia ; perhaps
it thinks that Mr. Hay has decided that, with the
new Monroe Doctrine, India, like Venezuela, must
fall under the "raoral" sway of the United States!
"Que sais-je?'"'^ Troublous tiraes, Mr. Editor!
"Puzzled."

Paris, January 3d.

" Montaigne.

309

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE.

Christian Scientists.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Truth asserts that Mrs. Eddy, "the prophetess,
has had a tooth out under anesthetics," and adds:
"It is really an araazing thing that . . . hundreds
of apparently intelligent woraen, and not a few raen,
should surrender thernselves to this unadulterated
bosh." Truth forgets that Christian Scientists do not
claira to be universal "healers." Chicot.
Paris, February 5, rgor.

From the Herald.
Christian Science.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Referring to Chicot's remarks concerning the crit
icisms on Mrs. Eddy's taking anaesthetics, I would
say that I know many so-called "Christian Scien
tists," and to be "universal healers" is exactly what
they do claim. They assert that there is no such
310

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE
thing as matter, nor sickness, nor pain, and to cure
a coraplaint or appease pain repeat the formula,
"There is no life or intelligence in raatter." They
do profess to cure carbuncles, cancer, paralysis, etc.,
without raedicines, by siraple "demonstration." One
member of the Paris association asserts that the
death of one of its raerabers was a "raoral raurder"
caused by the corabined unfavorable thoughts of
other raerabers. Anti-Eddy.
Paris, February t8, T9or.

"Chicot" Makes an Apologetic Plea for the
" Healers " — ^Intellectual Cloudbursts.
To the Editor of the Herald:
"Anti-Eddy" is too hard on the "healers." Does
he not see that they are a moral force, if a negative
one, in breaking up the tyranny of a religious past ?
Besides, Blackwood's says they do not claim to cure
corns. Why does not the Herald enlarge the letter
column? It is the only outlet for the intellectual
cloudbursts of "bored" Americans in Europe. Fill
it with fighting. The world is overpopulated, espe
cially in "British Colonels," who seem to be every
where except in South Africa. Perhaps some of
them belong to the "home guard," that never left
home unless the eneray arrived. Chicot.
Paris, March 8, 1901. 311

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE
Refused by the Herald.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Will the Herald kindly publish this. For, to give
the extract from your issue of to-day: "If it ap
pears in the Herald it will be heard — in faint but
still distinct echoes — centuries hence when many, if
not all, of the beings called kings and queens have
passed into the irrevocable past."
But your friend the Matin, of this morning, states
that you are afflicted with the "microbe" of megalo
mania, which it politely calls "mal d'orgueil." C'est
le revers de la raedaille.
However, a Herald interviewer, even after visits
to the Courts of Queen Wilhelmine and the King of
Servia, knows little of the most secret and the most
sacred of "the confidences of raan and wife" if he
has not seen the French play, "La Passerelle." ^^
The German Emperor should not interfere with
"Eddyism" — "none are all evil," ^* said Lord Byron
— and should reraeraber that "Christian Science" is
practically helping to illustrate the truth — ^that imag
ination is the framework of religion. Un clou
chasse I'autre.
Besides, persecution may have the same effect
'' R61e created by Rejane.
'" The Corsair, Canto I, 12.
312

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE
upon the "Araerican craze" that water has upon
blazing petroleura, viz. — Spread it.
As to the victims of what the Daily Mail calls
"nonsense," a "swindle" and "a roaring trade," the
Kaiser should not ignore Schiller's dictum: Gods
and men fight in vain against stupidity. ZOILE.
Paris, February, 1902.

313

MISCELLANIES.

PoUtics and ReUgion.
To the Herald:
Archbishop Ireland's advice to harness statesman
ship to the car of religion is a vain attempt to make
men return to
Una superstitio superis quae reddita divis."
For aU the world has read in Lecky: "That its
(Christianity) teachers should starap their infiuence
on every page of legislation and direct the whole
course of civilization for a thousand years, and yet
that the period in which they were so supreme should
have been one of the most contemptible in history."
It is a puling effort that Americans make to atone
for the omission of any divinity in the Constitution
by putting "In God we trust" on the silver dollar,
worth sorae forty cents though marked one hundred.
Perhaps it is a tacit adraission of the ways of their
Congress that leads them to follow Sancho Panza's
idea : "It is better to trust God than each other."
Paris, 1899. Numismatist.
" iEneid, XII, 813.
314

MISCELLANIES
Extracts from the Herald.
" Big Incomes."
John D. Rockefeller,'^ per an  30,000,000
Emperor of Austria 
Emperor of Russia 
Emperor of Germany 
Queen Victoria 

From the Herald.
Apropos of M. Boni de Castellane's Affairs :
"There is a certain pride running through the
Gould faraily," etc.

This Is Too Easy — ^Ask Another.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Will the Herald answer the following questions :
Why doesn't the Herald send a corapletely desic-
'° Mr. J. D. RockefeUer, Jr., lecturing on "Business " (Febru
ary, 1902), asserted that "honesty, perseverence and industry are
the requisites for obtaining commercial grandeur.'' Mr. Rocke
feUer did not state the part that " rebates " could contribute. lago
(OtheUo, Act III, Sc. 3) also harps upon honesty. The writer
once heard a famous gambler say that if he thought he had a drop
of honest blood in his veins he would open one and let it out. As
the gambler was also an ex-pugilist of renown the writer did not
contradict him. 315

MISCELLANIES
cated old fossil. Old PhUadelphia Lady, back to
her native city to try and stop ballot-box stuffing ?
Why does the Herald forbid "personalities" in its
letter coluran and yet state that certain people have
"running pride," although unpretentious folk are
mostly afflicted with galloping consumption?
Why does the Herald publish the huge incomes
of those unfortunate beings described by Izaak
Walton as "people condemned to be rich" ? '^
When will English music halls begin to resound
with the shouts of warriors, back frora the destruc
tion of a raisguided but wretched peasantry?
Why does Mr. Roosevelt say "that the American
flag raust never corae down," when it is a well-
known fact that the walls of every place of debauch
in Manila have been covered with it by a drunken
soldiery ?
Why should France, as shown by the glorious
vote in the Chamber, be the only country in the
world brave enough to fight against priestcraft?
Will Paris horses ever be better treated?
How long was it before PlimsoU was able to pre
vent honorable English merchants frora sending rot
ten ships to sea, filled with crews meant to be
drowned ?
"You may make yourselves merrier for a Uttle than for a
great deal of money. — Izaak Walton. 316

MISCELLANIES
What is a fellow to do, who is in Paris without
any money and who has "done" all the churches,
after he has read his daily Herald?
Will the Herald publish this ? Querist.
Paris, November ro, 1900.

" A Traveling Salesman " Expresses His Opinion
that Corridor Cars Cause Colds.
To the Editor of the Herald:
In the name 01 huraanity, won't the Herald use its
wide-spread influence to prevent the European adop
tion of the corridor car? Alexandre Dumas, fils,
clairas that a cold in the head is the distinctive char
acteristic of a Gerraan,'* but though the American
catarrhal twang coraes raostiy from the fact that
Puritan piety has its "seat and centre" '° in the nose,
and not in the heart, yet statistics must show that,
against one or two murders, there are thousands of
fatal cases of pneumonia due to what may be called
a United States patent for influenza breeding.
The danger to health frora a corridor car, often
heated to over 90 degrees Fahrenheit (over 32 de
grees Cent. O. P. L.), with no possible ventilation;
" MademoiseUe de BeUe Isle.
" Burns, Epistle to Davie.
317

MISCELLANIES
a cold blast driving through when the end doors are
opened ; nodding heads in every direction, so condu
cive to sea-sickness, the thought of all this disturbs
the sleep of A Traveling Salesman.
Paris, January 23, 1901.

The " Thunderer " Making Breaks Again.
To the Editor of the Herald:
A few weeks ago the London Times described
Jefferson as a "demagogue," and, to illustrate fur
ther its profound knowledge of American affairs, it
now promotes General Chaffee to be an "admiral."
That Englishman must have been a "leader writer"
on the Times who said: "I don't understand your
War of Secession. Why didn't the Northerners
build a wall across the Isthraus of Panama so that
the Southerners couldn't get at 'em?"
A Jeffersonian.
Paris, August rr, rgoo.

Paper Money Inflation.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The Herald's courageous New York article on
Congressional extravagance is in line with what
Lecky wrote: that increase of taxation is a corre
sponding restriction of liberty. 318

MISCELLANIES
The present inflation by paper money in the
United States can only have the result that always
attends corruption in general, viz., first, a swelling
of the body, and then a collapse.
The creation in six months (see Financial Chroni
cle) of 3,000,000,000 in Industrials recalls one of
Mr. Jay (jould's sayings: "How long," said some
one to hira in 1881, "can this issue of securities con
tinue?" "I feel reasonably certain," replied the
speculative philosopher, "that I can manufacture
thera as long as the public will buy them."
Paris, August 8, 1899. Ursa Major.

From the Herald.
A Profound Student's Philosophy.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Being somewhat of a profound student, I am nat
urally attentive to things which appear to have no
relation to anything at all. I am, therefore, con
strained to beg that you ask "Sociology" why
"France is like the lioness, who, reproached with
having only one offspring, replied, 'Yes, but a
lion' " ; and why, in view of the national emblem,
the true French patriot should not rather glory in
his son, the Uttle rooster. E. L. F.
Concarneau, February 8, 190T. 319

MISCELLANIES
Refused by the Herald.
It is not necessary to enter into the scientific part
of the question raised by E. L. F. ; for a sufficient
explanation of the way in which "the little rooster"
presents itself to his raind can be found in the phrase,
un coq a I'ane. Sociology.
Paris, February 13, r90i.

" Cursory " Customs Examination.
To the Editor of the Herald:
As I ara about to sail for New York, will the Her
ald tell rae if it is true that the Custoras examination
there corabines the two irapossible conditions of be
ing both long and "cursory" ?
On my return I hope to find that "O. P. L." has
had mercurial poisoning. "Foxy" you will keep to ;
he "makes copy," and then Americans, since the po
litical success of Mr. Roosevelt, have no longer any
sense of humor. Peregrinus.
Paris, April 27, igor.
The Face and the Heart.
To the Editor of the Herald:
A lawyer twitted Mr. Brewster, afterwards Attor
ney-General of the United States, because of his dis
torted features. Mr. Brewster quietly replied : "A
320

MISCELLANIES
boy once rushed into the flames to rescue his little
sister ; the girl's life was saved, but the boy came out
with his face as black as that man's heart!" "Nig
ger" and "Miss Nosey" recall Mr. Brewster's re
joinder. A Louisiana Negro.
Paris, October 28, igoi.

The " Point McBiraey."
To the Editor of the Herald: ^
If one ignores Bowdler's example'" and "adds
original matter" to Shakespeare, he can say:
"Misery makes strange bedfellows, but journalism
stranger." '^
The Herald's friend, the Matin-Frangais, in its
attack upon the surgeons who attended President
McKinley, forgets that the "point McBirney" is fol
lowed even by French practitioners.
If the Matin reads the Herald, it may be well to
inform it that the most savage wit is made sharper
by the addition of a little truth. MULIO.
Paris, October 28, tgot.
*" Preface to his "expurgated" edition.
" The Tempest, Act II, Sc. .1.

321

MISCELLANIES
From the Herald.
McBumey's " Point."
To the Editor of the Herald:
I should like for the edification of your corre
spondent signing himself "Mulio," to say that, like
the shoemaker, he had better stick to his last.
In the first place, McBurney, the surgeon men
tioned, spells his name as above written, and not Mc
Birney, as any one at aU famUiar with American
surgery should know. Also, be it known, McBur-
ney's "point" refers solely and entirely to the con
dition known as "appendicitis."
American Surgeon.
London, October 31, igor.

What a Pity " MuUo " Survived.
To the Editor of the Herald:
As "Mulio" had been under the knife, he knew
that the "point McBurney" was only followed in ap
pendicitis, but, more lucky than the unfortunate Mr.
McKinley, he is not "familiar with Araerican sur
gery." Perhaps, after all, the Matin is right, and, but for
the horrible expense, Czolgosz would have been exe-
322

MISCELLANIES
cuted much more quickly by putting hira in the
hands of an "American surgeon."
However just, no personal reference is meant by
still signing,
Paris, November 3, rgor. MULIO.

Here's a Chance!
To the Editor of the Herald:
I do wish the Chantily (sic) people would settle
it out araong themselves. Nobody now under
stands what it's all about. But if the Herald's got
to help everyone, why not me ?
I'm going to start a casino with roulette, three-
card "raonte," poker, etc., and I want some one to
look after the morals of my card-shovers. Can't
the Herald persuade the "S. P. G." to send me
over a "locum tenens." He must bring an auto
matic kissing machine with him, for I allow no
flirting. And on Sunday afternoons he must go
to the races ; I don't like squearaishness.
Paris, December 3, tgoi. An Ex-GaMBLER.

From the Herald.
" Statue-Mania in France."
To the Editor of the Herald:
After raany years I have made my second pere
grination through the chief provincial towns and
323

MISCELLANIES
capital of France. What has most astonished me
is to find so raany statues erected to persons hardly
known in their native provincial towns, and many
are raised in Paris to individuals who are unknown
to fame outside the periphery of the capital.
The statues of Jeanne d'Arc have increased enor
mously. It is a lucky thing for sculptors that in
1412 the various phases of hysterics were not
known, and the soothing properties of bromide of
ammonia were not discovered. I have looked in
vain to find statues to the raartyrs of the raassacre
of Saint Bartholomew, such as Ramus, Coligny, etc.
Although the debt of Paris is over two thousand
million francs, I think the municipality of the city
could find funds to erect a monument to commemor
ate that bloody and dark page in the history of
France. Paris, December 29, 1901. HuGUENOT.

A Monument to " Humanity."
To the Editor of the Herald:
"Huguenot" is too exacting. He will probably
soon insist upon raising in the "carrefour des
ecrases" *^ a monument to "Humanity," consisting
of a pyramid of Filipino skulls, and on the apex a
" Open space before the Theatre Francais in Faris.
324

MISCELLANIES
statue of the Puritan, holding with one hand the
skeleton of a burned "witch," and in the other hand
a copy of "Lynch Law."
Un Pratiquant.
Paris, December 31, 1901.

To the Editor of the Herald:
The "Courtesy of the Port" is an order given to
a Customs House underling to pass "P. d. q." any
thing belonging to a high-toned protectionist who
would not play_ false and yet would wrongly win.
The coramon protectionist merely puts his office
address in the top tray, and the Custom House offi
cer calls next day for his tip.
A Frequent Smuggler.
Paris, 1901. Censorious " Westem Gal."
To the Editor of the Herald:
Please tell me on what plan the Herald is mn. I
have just arrived in Paris, and I find you working
hard on Balkan affairs and not attending to what
Juvenal calls "res angusta dorai." *'
For I went "down town" yesterday by the Metro-
politain, and first I had to go to a "guichet" to pay
for ray ticket — you know in America they collect
™ Satn-es, III, 164-5.
32s

MISCELLANIES
fares — ^then my ticket was "punched," and then I
tried to get into a car, but before I was half in the
"sifflet" sounded and I nearly left a part of my cor
poreal existence — "legs" in America are improper —
outside. Then my ticket was "controle."
I suppose, pretty soon, I raust deposit ray "certifi-
cat de naissance" with some "fonctionnaire," in case
of accident.
The French, I hear, are logical. They proclaim :
"Point de mariage, et numeroter les enfants !" But
like your "Old Philadelphia Lady," I have an indi
viduality, and I propose to maintain it.
The Herald is, as the Scotch say, "canny." It
knows very well, with Sancho Panza, that : "There
are two kinds of people — the Haves and the Have
Nots," and it sticks to the Haves.
In other words, it is unwilling to criticise.
A Western Gal.
Paris, Januaiy 31, 1902.

Brokers Get It All.
To the Editor of the Herald:
As an "Old Wall Street Man," I protest indig
nantly against the unwarranted aspersion contained
in your heading in to-day's issue: "Robbing the
Brokers." 326

MISCELLANIES
Why, Sir, it is held by some that a pickpocket is
the most intelligent of Englishmen; by others that
he is a "type of all his race" ; ** and yet this keen
witted gentleman is bound by the inexorable law:
"A I'impossible nul n'est tenu."
You forget. Sir, a certain father's test of his son.
The boy was left in a room with a Bible, an apple
and a dollar, to see if "natural tendency" would
make him a clergyman, an agriculturist or a "finan
cial magnate." On looking through the keyhole,
the anxious parent discovers that his "hopeful" had
eaten the apple, was sitting on the Bible and had
pocketed the dollar. "Heavens !" he exclaimed, "I
must make him a broker ; he's got it all."
A Speculator.
Paris, January 31, 1902.

A Would-Be Philosopher.
To the Editor of the Herald:
A philosopher called the salamalecs of Voltaire
and Frederick II. planetary osculations.''' He
would probably describe the only too evident press
relations between the London Times, the Herald
and the Matin as the fusion of triple "brass." '*
" Doyle, The Private of the Buflfs. " Carlyle.
"Horace, Odes I, 3, 9.
327

MISCELLANIES
Cardinal Manning asserted that the Times' arti
cles were written by undergraduates. As a Pope
"in posse" is as infallible as a Pope "in esse," and in
view of the "Sophomoric" utterances of the Times,
Cardinal Manning was right.
Now the Herald, with a raodesty peculiarly its
own, dictates in two short colurans the foreign pol
icy of France and Gerraany, showing that "O.P.L."
raust write its leaders while furabling over its ther-
mometrical difficulties.
Lastly, the Matin, "ce plaisant Robin" (in Ameri
can slang, "rauttonhead,") of French journalism,
has lately evinced such ignorance concerning the
"mal de Naples" that he should receive the first
"prix de rosiere" given to the Paris press.
More Anon.
Paris, November lo, igor.

"The Wcrds of the Wise Are as Goads."
Editor Herald:
I don't like to see you petulant as you were in
your leader of February i. If a "Member of the
N. Y. Stock Exchange" wants anything, give it to
him ; he'll get it somehow ; and, knowing the animal
as I do, you are lucky if he doesn't ask for quota
tions two weeks ahead of tirae, so he can bet on a
328

MISCELLANIES
sure thing. You will oblige raany of your readers
by suppressing your financial coluran altogether. It
has been unpleasant reading for over a year. As
said of Gladstone's Exchequer reports, it has been
like a poera — Tennyson's poera — "Break, Break,
Break." I hear business is so bad they are going
to turn the N. Y. Stock Exchange into a Christian
Science church, with the loving raotto over the door :
Bear and Forbear.
"An Ex-Gambler."

Refused by the Herald.
To the Editor of the Herald:
The stern raoralist who signs * * * must cer
tainly be either a Cato or an "Auvergnat."
It is very evident frora his letter that he has been
long enough in Paris to contract what is commonly
called paresis.
But if the first supposition is correct and he has
to be "clothed" also, let him go to the tailor who
advertises: Vetements pour hommes, femmes et le
sexe ecclesiastique.
Such crystallized propriety should only read the
New York Times, which announces "All that's fit to
print," and yet publishes John Wanamaker's "Sun
day School Lessons." For our $400,000 Postmas-
329

MISCELLANIES
ter-General, when he is not teaching his pupils to
cheer for his Presidential candidate, makes the
"finest" efforts to patronize heaven since J. Calvin ''
and Jonathan Edwards ^' spewed brimstone on all
those who had some sense.
An Ex-Gambler.
Paris, February i, 1902.

To the Editor of the Herald:
I am not begueule. More so, perhaps, than for
merly, "Si jeunesse savait, etc." I have been to see
"La Passerelle."
If, as George Eliot said, "art is a mode of ampli
fying experience," why does so rauch of the "experi
ence" on the French stage consist in a realistic ren
dering of the line :
One touch of nature makes the whole world kin."
Juvenal had sirailar qualras : "^
" Calvin n'y (Genfeve) sera bient6t regarde que comme un
cuistre intolerant. — Voltaire k d'Alembert, Lettre 176.
Professor Barrett WendeU has recently asserted in Geneva
that Calvin "inspired Americanism." Professor WendeU, if not
always sensational, is, at least, logical, for the buming of Servetus
was undoubtedly the forerunner of "lynching."
" It was Jonathan Edwards who said that one of the pleasures
of heaven would be the thought that there were so many suffering
in hell. *° Troilus and Cressida, Act III, Sc. 3.
"" Satires, XI, 199. 330

MISCELLANIES
Spectent juvenes, quos clamor et audax
Sponsio, quos cultae decet assedisse pueUae.
Spectent hoc nuptae, juxta recubante marito.
Quod pudeat narrasse aUquem prassentibus ipsis.
Then take pictures. One favorite subject repre
sents naked females lying about on grass, near
water, etc. This again is not "art." For if the
scene is in northern climates, the pretty creatures
would certainly catch "grip" or inflammatory rheu
matism. And in the tropics, if the water were still,
they would be blistered by leeches ; if the water were
running, they would be paralyzed by electric eels.
Can your Art Critic enlighten us?
A Western Gal.
Paris, February 6, r902.

" An Irishman " Laughs at Mr. Carnegie.
To the Editor of the Herald:
As Mr. Carnegie proposes to bind England and
America with "hooks of steel" (Josse, cadet) why
not have King Edward's Coronation take place in
Washington ?
I know several New York men who would be
willing to lend their private cars for the "trip on."
And the rules of the road are simple : In crossing
New Jersey, no profane language; it is punishable
with fine and imprisonment. A stop at Trenton to
331

MISCELLANIES
register — fees in advance — fraudulent companies.
Must not drink water in Philadelphia. It is sup
plied by the authorities; and yet the city is only
saturated with appendicitis, typhoid fever, smaU
pox and Republicanisra. Stop here to visit spot
where Mr. Roosevelt made the immortal declara
tion : A defeat of our party will be a moral disgrace.
The King could graciously secure pay for Ameri
can members of Mr. Rhodes's joint Parliament, to
sit every other five years in Washington. No pay,
no Congressmen, alas !
As Mr. Charaberlain was called a descendant of
Mr. Ananias, in the House of Commons, by Mr.
Dillon, for being "touchy" about English generals,
Americans could "hang" a full-length portrait of
General Benedict Arnold over the new Speaker's
chair.
"An Irishman."
Paris, May roth.
Congress and the Coronation.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Senator Cullom proposes to send a Congressional
Committee to King Edward's Coronation.
No invitation has been given, but Senators ignore
useless forraalities.
As our Congressraen are noted for their courtesy
332

MISCELLANIES
to other nations, the Coramittee would probably
bring a "plaque" to "fix" on the "House" of Com
raons, giving the pleasing information: Westward
the Star of Empire takes its way.*^
As the Coraraittee would undoubtedly visit St.
George's chapel, where banners "flout the sky" ; °^
they could cover up these "evidences of decrepi
tude" with bright, new pasters in order to distin
guish the various sub-coraraittees : "Sugar Trust,"
"Star Routes," "The Lobby," "Pension List,"
"Burn these Letters," etc.
And Americans might repeat, with relief, Sancho
Panza's maxim: Honors change manners. Impransus.
Paris, igoi.
" So comes a reckoning when the banquet's o'er,
The dreadful reckoning, and men smile no more."
To the Editor of the Herald:
I thought I was comparatively clear-headed until
I began reading the divorce proceedings in your
paper. If Americans would adopt the provision re
incorporated, within two years, in the German law :
"that a man has a right to beat his wife," they could
stop divorces, 80 per cent, of which are brought by
" Epigraph to Bancroft's History of the United States.
»2 Macbeth, Act I, Sc. x. 333

MISCELLANIES
women, raostiy because their overworked husbands
can't give thera enough raoney.'^ And the moral
and social fester of divorce would be greatly les
sened by forbidding a woman to remarry, or by lim
iting her possible alimony to $50 a month. "A Reader."
Paris, January 14th.

Tangled Up About the Coronation.
To the Editor of the Herald:
Will the Herald publish as soon as possible the
programrae of the "Mock Coronation" ceremonies
to take place in Chicago?
According to the Times, vast numbers of the
Peers are to kiss the King at the Coronation.
An English general said in the Crimean war:
Confound these Frenchmen, they are always kissing
each other. He will not be invited.
Once "enthronized," the Archbishop — who will
claim to be "unworthy" — ^wUl tell the King to "hold
fast." If the King is like ordinary raortals, you bet
he will.
"An Ex-Gambler."
Paris, May 4th.
°' Qui dit qu'un bon mariage se dressait d'une femme aveugle
avec un mari sourd. — Montaigne. 334

MISCELLANIES The Sjrveton Case.
Editor Herald:
I'm a dyspeptic and I don't like that part of the
Herald that describes champagne and pate de foie
dinners. But I like the Herald for not discussing
the "Syveton case." And the Herald, unlike some
papers, can be read at lectures for "horames, femmes
et le sexe ecclesiastique." But why, if Mr. Syveton
did not commit suicide by inhaling gas, subject poor
dogs to the repeated tests. Why not ask some of
the believers in the murder theory to absorb some of
the "distilled coal." "Gas" only raeans loquacity.
A little more couldn't increase the present display!
"A Chemist."
Paris, January 4th.

" A Boot-Black " At It Again.
Editor Herald:
A leader of the Voyoucratie tells me: in cauda
venenum ; but says all your wit in the letter-column
is in the headings. So the Paris Herald is better
than the N. Y. one. It recalls Gen. Pope's "Head
quarters in the Saddle" — or as Lincoln said: "Got
his body upside down." As there raust be no poli
tics during the treve de confiseurs, here's something
335

MISCELLANIES
I read in an English book, en "piochant" le long du
quai: A staunch Presbyterian prayer for Queen Ade
laide. "Oh, Lord ! save thy servant our Sovereign
Lady the Queen. Grant that, as she grows an old
woman, she raay becorae a new raan. Strengthen
her with Thy blessing, that she may live a pure vir
gin before Thee, bringing forth sons and daughters
to the glory of God ; vouchsafe her Thy blessing
that she may go forth before her people like a he-
goat on the mountains."
Paris, December 24th. "A Boot-Black."

"To Appear Big, Blow  "
To the Editor of the Herald:
Will you permit a word in support of "A North
ern Woman's" reply to General Miles' criticism of
Jefferson Davis ? Without touching upon the ques
tion of the right or wrong of the Rebellion, it raay
be asserted without fear of exaggeration that Jeffer
son Davis was the admitted "head and front" of an
attempted national defence which for tenacity, cour
age and skill in face of dirainishing numbers and
diminishing resources has no parallel in history.
And the American character is distinctly higher
336

MISCELLANIES
than before because of the qualities shown by the
South during its heroic struggle.
But in these days of official "playing for the gal
lery," General Miles may be said to belong to that
large and increasing class who try to vindicate their
iraportance by raaking themselves conspicuous.
However, "none are all evil," according to Byron,
and CJeneral Miles has helped to show that the Eng
lish language is as terse as the Latin, for Tacitus
wrote : "Quoniam nemo eodem tempore assequi po
test magnam famam et raagnara quietem," which,
translated into the vulgate, or good Miles verbiage
raay read: "If you wish to appear big you must
blow your own trumpet." Leslie Chase.
Carlisle, Pa., April 19, rgos.

A Critic Criticised.
To the Editor of Public Ledger:
Mr. Henry William Elson, in your issue of to
day, seems to have faUen into the common error —
ut est mos vulgi — of making a personal attack upon
a German professor because the latter practically
emphasizes the idea that a tendency to a religious
beUef is a sure sign of a provincial environment.
Mr. Elson does not appreciate the fact that public
337

MISCELLANIES
sentiraent — which is, after all, the governing prin
ciple in the world's action — is made up of individual
contributions. And the provincialism that forbids
what is "unusual" is illustrated by the condition of
many country towns, where there are numerous
churches and not one yard of sewer pipe.
The German professor would open people's
minds ; Mr. Elson would close them. And where
was the recent "gas steal" attempted? Where the
German professor lives, or in the city that pro
duces men of Mr. Elson's school of thought?
Leslie Chase.
Carlisle, Pa., May 6, rgos.

MODERN RELIGION.

Observations Suggested by Some "Aggressive,
Strenuous Christianity."
To the Editor of Public Ledger:
Without wishing to take too great advantage of
your courtesy, in order to convey information to
Mr. Henry WiUiam Elson, permit me to reply to his
data by stating that France, the inteUectual head
of the world, Is in the act of confining religion to
its natural limits, viz., making it a vehicle of emo
tion and not a factor in daily life. The "gas steal"
would now be irapossible in France. In support
338

MISCELLANIES
of this I give the following from a recent speech
by M. Jaures:
"We who do not wish to abolish by force a
single doctrine or a single belief; we who realize
the paralyzing tyranny of a religious heritage by
which our people are still enslaved and that between
these old-time faiths and our modern ideal, be
tween the past and the future, there must be trying
struggles in the life of every individual, in the life
of every family, in the life of the nation itself; we,
I say, assert that in order that the child may
choose the straight path amidst the temptations
that will beset him it is necessary that he receive
— where he can only receive it — in the national
schools, in the schools of the republic, a teaching
which shall enable him to discriminate between
right and wrong, so that the freedom born of in
teUigence shall lead him when finally become a man
to guide his conduct by his reason."
The weight of Mr. Gladstone's authority is
soraewhat dirainished by Lecky's estiraate of him:
"There is such a thing as an honest man with a
dishonest mind. There are men who are wholly
incapable of wilful and deliberate untruthfulness,
but who have the habit of quibbling with their
convictions, and by skilful casuistry persuading
themselves that what they wish is right."
339

MISCELLANIES
President Roosevelt's "aggressive, strenuous
Christianity," when applied to Panama, seems to
have derived fresh inspiration from that chapter
of I Kings which tells how Jezebel secured a title
to Naboth's vineyard. Leslie Chase.
Carlisle, May rr, igos.

To the Patient Reader.
The London Times, which once described the
United States frigate, "Constitution" (perhaps bet
ter known to Englishmen in connection with their
former ships, "Guerriere," "Java," etc., etc.), as
"a bundle of pine boards drifting under a gridiron
flag," °3a will without doubt "inwardly digest" »* this
book and pronounce it "scurrUous vituperation."
Certainly, the book is a poor one, but my "ain."
No one will dispute me that. And in view of the
Protection propensities of my countrymen, stimu
lated by Congressional honesty, I shall not copy
right it.
I do not expect a niche in the "Hall of Farae"
with those incubators of Empires, Blaine and Chara
berlain, and where, to raix French and English, the
"* Cooper's Naval History of the United States. Also Maclay's.
'* The Book of Common Prayer. 340

MISCELLANIES
Americans se feront des niches, in placing each
other ; for, if ray book is read, I shall be lynched in
America, hanged in England and guillotined in
France ; all very unpleasant since, to quote Moliere's
valet,^" when one dies it is for such a terribly long
time. But as that Tory document, the Church
catechism, tells us "to honor and obey the civil
authority," °^ I submit to the coraraand of that
ultima ratio of American political life, the present
President of the United States, and "tremble on the
brink of doom."
That part of huraanity toiling under the harrow
of taxation and misgovernment cries out in stronger
tones : "Strike one blow in our defence."
An Internationalist.
Paris, February, 1902.
'' Le Depit Amoureux, Acte V, Sc. 5.
"° The Book of Common Prayer.

341

TO DEMOCRATS.

Now that the Boer and Philippine wars have re
vealed more clearly than ever the mortal character
of the fight between the principle of Authority, as
defended by the Anglo-Saxon, and the Rights of
Man, as asserted through the French Revolution,
we. Democrats, have only to remember with Rous
seau: La liberte n'est dans aucune forrae de gou
vernement, elle est dans le coeur de Thorame libre.®^
And although War is the argument of the brute, yet
the tiraes raakes necessary the present application of
an order given by Commodore Preble under the
following circumstances: " — When upon a very
dark evening with very light winds, we suddenly
found ourselves near a vessel which was evidently
a ship of war. The crew were immediately but si
lently brought to quarters, after which the Commo
dore gave the usual hail, 'What ship is that ?' ; The
same question was returned; in reply to which the
name of our ship was given and the question re-
" Emile, Livre V.
342

TO DEMOCRATS
peated. Again the question was returned instead
of an answer, and again our ship's narae given and
the question repeated, without other reply, than its
repetition. The Commodore's patience seemed now
exhausted, and taking the trumpet, he hailed and
said, 'I am now going to hail you for the last tirae.
If a proper answer is not returned, I will fire a shot
into you.' A prorapt answer came back. 'If you
fire a shot, I will return a broadside.' Preble then
hailed, 'What ship is that?' The reply was, 'This is
His Britannic Majesty's ship Donegal, eighty-four
guns. Sir Richard Strahan, an English Commodore.
Send your boat on board.' Under the excitement
of the moment, Preble leaped on the hammocks and
returned for an answer. This is the United States
ship Constitution, forty-four guns, Edward Preble,
an American Commodore, who will be damned be
fore he sends his boat on board of any vessel.' And,
turning to his crew, he said, 'Blow your matches,
boys.' "
(Autobiography of Com. Morris. From Proceedings, U. S.
Naval Institute, No. 12, Vol. VI.)

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