YALE UNIVERSITY LIBRARY Bought with the income of the WILLIAM C. EGLESTON FUND Bvi 4*2.5" TRULY RESPECTABLE, HIGHLY RESPECTED GENTLEMAN, JOHN BULL, ESQ. <&mv Genuine ©on of tfje TButt jFamife ; THESE MEMOIRS ARE HUMBLY INSCRIBED. MOST FAITHFUL, AND MOST DEVOTED SERVANT, DEMODOCUS POPLICOLA. PROLEGOMENA TO JOHN BULL'S BIBLE. As every body has read Sir Humphry Polesworth's History of John Bull, every body knows something of the Character of that Gentleman, and of the Economy of his Family and Manor. But Sir Humphry, though he sets himself forth as John Bull's Historiogra pher, and as writing by his Order, was re ally but the mere Apologist of his Friend Sir Roger ; at that time Major-domo to John Bull's Steward. And however dex terously and plausibly his Work is ex ecuted, it by no means gives a fair and b impartial view of the Economy of the Bull Family, or the legitimate Custom and Constitution of the Manor of Great Albion. But Sir Humphry, especially, betrays, if not iguorance, surely a most astonishing prejudice, with respect to John Bull's Wife; whom, if we can allow him any meaning at all, he affects to understand for the Steward's Wife. Sir Humphry, in deed seems every where to aim purposely to identify John Bull with his Steward ; whom he entirely keeps out of sight, and never so much as names. But though the Character he draws, and the Party to whom he professes to adhere, be John Bull; the interest he has constantly in view, is the Steward's, or rather, that of his patron Sir Roger, the Steward's Ma jor-domo, and then at the head of his Of fice. On this subject, indeed, Sir Hum phry seems entirely to have lost himself, or wilfully to mislead his Readers. While he names, and announces Mrs. Bull, as John Bull's Wife, he imputes adulterous practices to her, expressly for her fidelity XI to her husband, and repulsion of the Stew ard's Gallanteries and Intrigues. For though that infamous Commerce of Pros titution which at this day subsists between the Clerks and Agents in the Steward's Office and Mrs. Bull's Domestics, and is now become the prime Organ of the whole Economy of the Manor, was not then brought to that systematic regularity it has now attained ; yet, long before that time, the Steward's Clerks, Pimps, and Parasites, had begun to tamper and intrigue with Mrs. Bull's Maids, both for themselves and their Master. But Mrs. Bull's Do mestics had not yet entirely sold them selves to the Steward and his Go-between ; nor was the Office of Major-domo as yet entirely identified with that of Pimp Ge neral, and absolute Disposer of Mrs. Bull's Houshold. In short — Sir Humphry's object was rather to apologize, than to justify ; rather to mislead, than to inform. And by the affected naivete and quaintness of his style and manner, he artfully endeavours to amuse the Reader, and divert his attention 52 Xll from the real merits of the Cause : which he was well aware could not bear a strict examination. Very different is the End proposed, and Task undertaken, by the present Editor. The design of Editing these Me moirs at this time, is, to set forth the ge nuine Principles of the Stewardship, and the original Constitution and Custom of the Manor of Great Albion. — And, by tra cing the Perversions and Corruptions of them to their source and cause, and point ing out their destructive tendency, — to warn both John Bull and his Steward of the impending danger. That, by recur ring to the true Principles of the Consti tution of the Manor, the Ruin of both, 'which now of a long time lingereth not, and their Destruction which slumbereth not,' — may be prevented. The Present Work is compiled from memoirs found in the Scrutoire of a Gen tleman who has for some time disappeared from the world ; — whether dead or buried alive, few know, and fewer will give them selves any concern to know. The present Xlll Editor has only reduced them into order and a more regular connection, and claims no merit beyond that of a Compiler, or mere Amanuensis. It would seem that the Original Writer of these Memoirs had communicated his Manuscript to some friend of a fanciful turn ; who, perhaps led by some Copies of Sir Humphry Polesworth's Work, affects to find in these Memoirs some imaginary allusion to the British Government and Politics. This appears from several Notes, or pretended Explanations, at the bottom of the Page, in a different hand-writing, re ferring to such an Allusion. It is indeed a singular circumstance, which seems constantly to have connected itself with the subject of these Memoirs, — that, by a whimsically absurd association of ideas, it has been imagined to have some allusion to the British Government, and the British Constitution. Those who are acquainted with Sir Humphry Polesworth's History of John Bull's Lawsuit, must have seen Copies of that Work accompanied with Notes explaining certain terms under XIV that notion. And in the Copy of these Memoirs now under the Editor's eye, and from which he has chiefly compiled the present Work, the same extravagant con ceit discovers itself; and several such Ex planations are to be found at the bottom of the Page. And, as the humour seems to take, the Editor supposes it may be amusing to indulge it. He has, therefore, transcribed also some of those whimsical Explanatipns. — Not from the least per suasion of any real reference, or allusion between things so widely different ; but merely for the amusement of the Reader, and to mark the extravagance of some people's imagination. Thus, they will have John Bull to be The English Nation. The Steward The K— g. Mrs Bull $ ^e Parliament abstractly { conceived. HerHoushold Office The Two Houses. John Bull's Mother The Church of England. Law and Lawyers in > War, Military Men, and general $ Military Affairs. The JdXdl..°...c.e I Tl" c°°" a"d t- Clerks and Scriveners 1 The Subordinate Officers in the Steward's > of the Court and Mi- Office J nistry. XV And a number of other such extrava gant Conceits, as fanciful people are apt to amuse themselves with. Some instances of this Gratuitous Comment will be found transcribed into the present Work, in Notes at the bottom of the Pages, under the Quotation — Pret. Com. or Pretended Comment. — And to those who are fond of such visionary allu sions, and are acquainted with Sir Hum phry Polesworth's Work, many others may probably occur. JOHN BULL'S BIBLE. BOOK I. Chap. I. Contents. — A brief Character of John Bull — of an easy, open, unsuspect- ng, disposition— hence, generally over-reached, pillaged, and cheated, by his Stewards, and their Clerks, and Scriveners— got Possession of the Manor of Albion by ousting Davy Guelch ; whom he came to de fend against Roderic, orRory Restless, and Sandy Ranger, two very troublesome neighbours of Davy's. X here is no man in the country better known than n ¦ e , J ""Brief cliai-ar- Jolin Bull, Esq. Lord of the Manor of Albion ; anil, "'r "f Jol'n 3 Bull. notwithstanding a certain dash of singularity and non chalance in his character, which some are pleased io make free with, there are few persons more respectable ; or, who, when occasion requires, know better how to make themselves respected, than John Bull. John is, indeed, the truly free, open, independent, Country Gen tleman ; equally above the designing arts of the insinu ating Courtier, and the mean compliances of the cringing Slave. This is a character which, I believe, his friends will not, and, I think, his enemies dare not, deny him. VOL. I. B 2 Bodk l. ch. 1 Indeed, true spirit, and undaunted bravery, are uni- firief charac- versally allowed to be his most distinguishing charac- Buii. teristics. But though John has always proved a match for his enemies, whom he has defied, he has often been duped ahd cheated by his friends, whom he has trusted ; and hence the present dangerous state of his affairs. In order to account for the present embarrassed and ruinous condition of the Manor of Albion, and of John Bull's affairs in general, it will be necessary to take a view of his Domestic Economy, particularly of the Stewards and Stewardship of his Manors, pretty far back ; at least from his first obtaining possession of the Manor of Albion. And this I am enabled to do by means of a scries of Memoirs of the Successive Stewards, and Records of the Stewardship and Affairs of the Manor now in my hands ; Avith which I shall use little more freedom than to transcribe and abridge them. Besides the Manor of Albion, his antient heredi tary Estate, John has very large and valuable Posses sions in almost every part of the Country; so that bis affairs are very extensive and complicated. Now John being, as we have said, himself a fellow of easy unsus pecting nonchalance, — always kept an Agent, or Head Steward, to whom he generally consigned the chief management of his various Estates, and indeed of his whole Affairs. And by him and his Clerks and Un- dcr-scrivenershehas in general been shamefully imposed upon, over-reached, cheated, and robbed. HowJohnBuii How John Bull's Family came into possession of possession of the Manor of Albion, is a matter that will not, perhaps, Aiwon"01 °f bear a very strict scrutiny. However, his title is now, by prescription, become indisputable. — Of the manner Book l. ch. l. of John Bull's possessing himself of this Manor, I find the following account. By the oldest Records worthy of credit, respecting Rowland the the Manor of Albion, it appears, — that one Rowland DavyGueich. de Roma, or Rowland the Roman, a busy, bustling, pragmatical Fellow, who kept hundreds of Lawyers, Bailiffs, Bullies and Bravoes in constant pay, had got Occupancy of the Estate. This Fellow, under pre tence of doing Justice, and settling quarrels among his neighbours, had seized into his own hands, or got under his Management, almost every Estate in the Country. The celebrated Lord Peter's Patrimony, was indeed, originally, his paternal Estate ; and of the Manors since possessed by Lewis Baboon, Lord Strut, Nick Frog, and the greater part of those of 'Squire South ; he had already got entire possession ; when one of his Lawyers, to whom he had committed the management of the Frapkland Manor, now Lewis Baboon's Estate, having frequently cast his eye over the Water which separated it frpm this same Manor of Albion, then pos sessed by one David Guelch, — he must needs, though they had never seen one another, out of pure good neighbourhood, cross the Water, and give him a morn ing's call, And being very civilly received, he soon im proved his Vis to a Visit, and his Visit to a Visitation.* In short, after this, Rowland never left off meddling in the poor man's affairs till he had ruined him ; having thrown his whole Estate into Chancery, and * They who have seen the World, will understand this. »3 Booki. ch. l. managed it by his cozening Lawyers just as ho pleased. Rm,iami the This Davy Guelch was a simple honest sort of a Roman and ,, *. -a- nr*A li Davj Guelch. Fellow, but somewhat of an idle disposition, ana 11 must be owned, did not make the most that might have been done of his Estate, nor manage his Affairs to the best advantage; yet he neither wanted Sense to feel, nor Spirit to resent, the injury done him, in taking the Management of them out of his own hands. But all his indignation and efforts were in vain ; he could never recover his Manor out of the hands of those rascally Lawyers to whom Rowland had intrusted it; and he was at last obliged to submit, and live on tlie Estate under them, with just what rights and privileges they were pleased to allow him. This Rowland, though a turbulent overbearing fellow, was one of whom it might be said — that he Avas ' inland bred, and knew some nurture ;' Avhich Avas more than could at that time be said of Davy or his family. But RoAvland, to do him justice, Avhile he held the Estate, gave the Family some education, the children Avere sent to school, Avere taught tlieir Catechism, and to say their Paternoster ; the Boys had also learnt to pull off their caps and make their boAv, and the Girls lo make their courtesy, Avhen a Lady or Gentleman passed them ; and the better sort had even Dancing- masters and Music-masters provided for them, and Avere taught something of Good Breeding. But the truth is, RoAvland had his own ends, and expected to find his oavii account in all this- He Avished to draAV them oft' from that. active hardy Avay of Life in Avhich the Family had hitherto been bred ; that so they might be Book l. ch. 1. less disposed, and indeed less capable of disturbing i»nw|„nsoon found InmscIf wholly dispossessed, not only of his protect.,! i>y Manor and Farm, but even of his house, goods, and John Bull. ' , „ c furniture; and, in the end, Avas fairly turned our ot doors. Thus it was that John Bull's Family first got possession of the Estate and Manor of Albion. Davy Guelch was now in a condition ten times worse than under Rowland the Roman. RoAvland was certainly sufficiently assuming and selfish, but then, he had, as Ave have said, been bred to some civility, and had taught Davy's family some ; and, where it did not interfere Avith his own interest and designs, exercised some mansuetude and humanity towards them. Before their acquaintance Avith RoAvland, nothing could be more rude, savage, and uncultivated, than the manners and way of life of the Avhole family. But now, as has been said, the children had learnt to read and write, had been taught their catechism, and to say their prayers, and the Avhole Family went to church ; for RoAvland at this time professed himself to be a good Christian. As for John Bull's Family, it does not appear that at this time one of them had ever learnt their A, B, C j a Creed, or Paternoster, they had never heard ; they thought no more of saying their Prayers than their dogs or their horses did. And as to going to church — Avorse than the fat Fellow in the Play, Avho had ' for gotten Avhat the inside of a church Avas made of,' — not one of them had ever been Avithin a church-door in their lives. In short, John Bull's Family Avere, at this time, no better than mere barbarians, and it is impos sible to describe Avhat poor Davy suffered under such hands, after they had throAvn off the mask. Yet it must be acknowledged, that when Guelch Book 1. ch. i. found how things Avere likely to go, he did not submit without both shewing great indignation, and making considerable resistance ; nor resist without frequent suc cess. But in addition to all Davy's other misfortunes, he Avanted good agreement and fidelity in his oAvn Family. About this time, Vortigig, a Steward on one of Davy's Estates, fell desperately in love with Rowena, or Rovena, the daughter of Dangle, Avho came at the Head of those Rovers of John's Family, who were noAV pouring, in uncailed-for numbers, upon Davy's Manor — no doubt, the better to defend it from all ill neighbours. John's Family have alway been remark able for pretty Girls, and this Rowny Avas one of the smartest lasses in the whole country-side. And her father took care to manage matters so as to dispose of her to the best advantage. It Avas agreed that Davy's SteAvard should marry the daughter, and in return should put her father in possession of one of the best Farms on the Estate ; thus securing a good settlement for himself as well as his daughter. Along with this Dangle, came a brother of his, called Equester, or Horse-master, who at first acted as a kind of Bailiff upon the Farm, and particularly had the management of the Horses, which were kept in great numbers upon it ; as Avas pretended, for the purpose of driving off, and pursuing the above bad neighbours, that trespassed upon Davy's Estate. This Equester, then to be sure, must have another adjoining Farm, for the maintenance of himself, and keeping of his Horses. And here he built a Great Stable, Avith a c 10 Book i< ch.i. number of pens and stalls for Horses, which is still called Horsham or Horse Hame, that is, Horse Close, or Horse Home. But not content with this, he soon extended his Farrrt to a Manor, and his Stables to a Mansion-house; and there they may be seen, under the same name, unto this day. It is not certainly known whether any descendants of the fair Rowny are still to be found there ; but the Writer of this hour can gratefully, and truly, attest, that the place is still noted for fair and kind-hearted females. Thus was Davy betrayed and sold by his OAvn Steward. And this, though the first, is far from the last, instance of the kind, that will be found in the course of these Memoirs. These two Brothers, Dangle and Equester, with their followers, Avere the first of John Bull's Family who gained any permanent settlement on the Manor of Albion. But these Avere soon joined by more of their kindred ; nor stopt they, till they had parcelled out the whole Estate among them, into seven separate Manors. Thus was poor Davy Guelch ousted of his whole Estate. And those of his Family who could not sub mit to be Servants and drudges to another Master, on tlieir own Lands, were glad to betake themselves to the Avoods and mountains on the outskirts of the Manor, for refuge and shelter ; Avhere, having built themselves huts, and improved some of the uncultivated spots around them, the remains of them are to be found, and distinguished, a simple, honest, hardy, hospitable Race, unto this day. 11 ClIAP. II. Book 1. ch.2. Contents — The Affairs of the Manor generally trusted to a Head Stew. ard, assisted by the Sage-meeting and Folk-meeting.— Design of Coil. stitution Hall, the Great Mansion House, or Family Seat of the Manor. — The whole Family privileged in it— hence viewed with an evil eye by the Stewards.— John Bull originally lived witli his Great Family in a truly patriarchal manner. To keep possession of an Estate acquired in so ques- The Steward- tionable a manner as Ave have related, it was necessary taryf ""but to cultivate and keep up the Profession of the LaAV in the'controui the Family, and the chief management of the Estate ?.f the Fam" was, of course, generally entrusted to some one of that profession, in the character of Bailiff, or Head Steward of the Manor. But as this was an office of great weight, importance, and trust ; and as those who were entrusted with it, were always disposed to assume suffi ciently upon it; it naturally became an object of much emulation and ambition, and occasioned many contests and quarrels in the Family, To obviate this, accord ing to the custom in many Manors, the office Avas made Hereditary, in one particular branch of the Family ; but still, undoubtedly, subject to the controul of the Bull Family in general. At first, the Estate Avas divided into several Ma nors, to the number of seven, each under a separate Steward, Avho was generally of the Profession of the Law. But such is the character of that Profession^ that while there is one object within its reach, by art or chicanery, hoAvever much in defiance of Justice or Right, it will never be satisfied till it has obtained it. And this John Bull soon found to be the case with his different SteAvards. They kept the Fa- c2 12 Book 1. cb.2.mily constantly at Law about the Boundaries of their several Manors, and other interfering claims and pre tensions. And by this means the Estate was so neg lected and wasted, and such violent quarrels and con tests excited in the Family, that many, on both sides, often had their bones broken, or their brains beat out, in them. And all this about matters in which no one but the Stewards, and their Clerks and Scriveners, had any concern or interest at stake.— Though there were Seven separate Manors, and as many Stewards; yet, as a bond of Union, a certain degree of superiority was generally allowed to one or other of them. And at last, one of these, a shreAvd, ambidextrous, in defatigable fellow, named Gebbert, Steward of the . Manor of Western, succeeded in ousting all the others of their Stewardships, and assumed the management of the whole seven Manors into his own hand . For this event John Bull probably was not very sorry ; as he might hope it Avould lessen the quarrels in his Fa mily ; though, perhaps, he might have expected to have been a little more consulted in the matter than he was. Since that time the Stewardship has continued ge- ing and Folk- nerally hereditary: but subject, on particular emer gencies, to be altered at the will of the Squire, Avith the common consent of the Family. For the purpose of obtaining this common consent, which, by an un alterable Family custom, is necessary in all important matters, the Family are called together and consulted — on lesser occasions, only the Elders and leading men —on occasions of more universal interest, the Family in general. For Avhich calling-together, they had tAvo 13 urn a vestige of the Sage and Folk- meeting Now a mere Form, and little better than aFarce Names or Terms, the Sage-meeting and the Folk- Book 1. ch. 2. meeting.* Something in pretended imitation of both these Meetings is still kept up on the Manor, in the present Palaverium. But to obviate the inconvenience and confusion of so great an Assembly as the Folk-meeting, The Palaveri it has been long settled, that the Family should choose particular persons from among themselves to represent them, and to consult and vote for them, in those Meet ings. But this is iioav become a mere Form, and little better than a mere Farce. The far greater part of those pretended Representatives being really nominated and chosen entirely by the influence of the SteAvard, and the Clerks and Scriveners about his Office ; and are merely their tools and implements; many of them, indeed, their Office-keepers, Under Clerks, Chamber lains, and Pages ; Grooms and Jockies in the Steward's Stables; Turnspits and Scullions in his Kitchen ; even their Go-betAveens, Pimps and Panders.— But more of this Avhen we come to that part of these Memoirs Avhich treats of the infamous Commerce of Prostitution and Adultery so notoriously carried on between the in mates of Steward's Office, and those of Mrs. Bull's Household, The disputes about the Stewardship being thus ended, by the management of the Avhole Estate cen tering in one Head Steward, it was proposed to build a great Mansion House, suited to the extent of the Ma nor, and the Dignity of the Family, to be called Free man's Castle, or Constitution Hall.t * The Wittenage-mote and the Folk-mote. t The British Constitution.— Pretended Comment, 14 Book l. ch.2. This Constitution Hall, the family Seat of John Constitution Bull's descendants, and Mansion House of the Avhole man's Casde* Manor of Great Albion, is still standing ; but through wiVan Evil the abuse of the successive Stewards, and the neglect stew.vds.'^of the Family, much injured, and at present in a very tottering and ruinous condition. It must be acknow ledged, the Stewards in general have discovered a great antipathy and spite to this Mansion House, and would Avdlingly see it levelled with the ground ; on account of the protection and shelter claimed in it by every in dividual of the Bull Family ; and Avhere they have often been rescued from the insolent oppression, and unfeeling grasp of the Steward and his Agents. For this Mansion House of the Manor of Albion is not only one of the noblest structures that Architecture has produced, but also one of the most convenient, and best designed for the accommodation of a whole Fa mily, Avhere elegance and use go hand in hand ; and one, Avhich has attached to it privilege of sanctuary, till trial, for every one of the Family, which even the SteAvard himself dare not violate. Thus, this Mansion House Avas not intended for mere ostentation, to display the splendour and vanity of an insignificant voluptuous Lord of the Manor, or as a mere Pageant, or thing of Show ; but for a substantial Family Residence ; in the plan of which, due regard was had to the comfort and convenience of every indi vidual, from the Master to the loAvest Domestic. For though John Bull could not secure splendour and riches to every one of a Family so numerous and extensive as his had now become, he meant, at least, to take care that none should be entirely neglected, or 15 destitute; but that every one, the most distant relation Book l. ch.2. of the Family, and all who lived on the Estate, should, in any case of distress or adverse fortune, here at least, find shelter and protection. In this Manor House are three principal divi-The principal divisionsand sions, or grand Courts. — The First for the SteAvard s use of Con- Court and Offices, where the business of the Stew- Hall. ardship is transacted, all payments and disburse ments made, and all the Accounts of the Manor kept. — The Second, for the Sage-meeting, consisting of the Elders, or Leading Men of the Family, to consult for the Interest of the Folk, and the concerns of the Ma nor in general. — And the Third, for the Folk-meeting, by their Representatives or Delegates, to consult also for the general concerns of the Family and Manor ; and especially to regulate the Family Expences, and to settle the contributions to be levied for supporting them. A Privilege which, from time immemorial, they particularly claimed. These two last, called the Palaverium, are considered as particularly under the auspices of Mrs. Bull, and named the Upper and Loav- er Chambers of the Palaverium or Household Office. — Besides these, there are many lesser Divisions or Offices, for holding the Courts Leet and Courts Baron, and for the accommodation of such as attended them, or had Suit and Service to perform in the Courts of the Manor. — But dropping the Mansion House at present, Ave will resume our immediate subject, — the SteAvards and Stewardship. While the Stewardship continued in the line of the above Gebbert, being a branch of John's own family, the successive SteAvards conducted themselves with a 16 Book 1. ch. 2. decent regard to the Privileges of the Family, and the Customs of the Manor ; yet sometimes more strictly, and sometimes with considerable deviation; and, as is the habit of such Characters, often with more regard to their own interest than to that of their Employers. Alfrankanex- One Alfrank, however, deserves particular notice ar".entStew*here, for his own excellent Character, and the many improvements he introduced in the exercise of the Stewardship, the cultivation of the Estate, and the Morals and good Order of the people upon it. And this especially by an excellent plan for bringing all Evil-doings and Evil-doers to light and conviction, through the Avhole Domains subject to the Manor ; by obliging every man to have an eye upon, and in some degree to be accountable for, the conduct of his neigh bour. This Alfrank was also, if not the original planner, at least a chief improver, of Constitution Hall, the Great Manor House we have mentioned. And had the Elevation been carried on according to his ground Plan, and the Building kept up by occa sional Repairs, in conformity with the original Designy it Avould have been a noble edifice indeed. There Avas also among the Stewards, one Pius Ned,* whose Memory Avas much respected in after times, for the many good Laws and Customs he intro duced in favour of the Tenants and Suitors in the Courts of the Manor; and to which Ave shall hereafter have occasion to refer. John Bull, in former times, was a man of a genu ine Patriarchal Character, and lived with his Family * Edward the Confessor Pret. Com. 17 in a ti'uly primitive manner. For his Family, which Book 1. ch. 2. soon became numerous, were settled all around him on John Bull of a the different Manors and Farms of his extensive Es- archai Pcha- tates ; and to all of them he extended a paternal care vtding^^ori and protection. For John's Etates were not, like most ™^hwrwhoie others in the neighbourhood, cultivated by Aliens, ^gmilypri9^ Boors, and Vassals, the property of the Landlord ; leges of Con- wbo might be transferred, like Beasts, along with the Hall. Soil, from Master to Master, at the Avill even of an Agent or Steward. John's Estates, as we have said, Avere occupied and cultivated by the different branches of his own Family, Free Men, all acknowledged by by him, and entitled to the protection of the Laws of the Manor, and the privileges of the Mansion House, hence called Freeman's Castle. And no man, not even the Steward himself, durst meddle with either their Persons or Property, but by due course of Laws made by their own consent. This, indeed, has always been the most prominent feature of the Bull Character, and the envied privilege of the Manor of Albion ; how ever, at times, frustrated by the tyranny or treachery of the Stewards. And this is what principally distin guishes them from all the Great Families and Estates in the Neighbourhood, — that all who live on the Estate have the privileges of Free Men, and a Right of Sanc tuary and Protection in Constitution Hall. In short, John Bull formerly lived in his Manor House, and amidst his Family, like the Ancient chief of one of our Highland Clans ; where every one of the Name, how ever poor, claimed the Honour, affected the Spirit, and resented the Injuries of the whole Clan ; and was, in his » 18 Book l. ch. 2. turn, acknowledged by the Chieftain, and had always free access to his Castle, and entertainment in his Hall. Chap. III. Contents. — The Manor of Albion a Family Estate.— The Laws and Cus toms of the Manor respect the Security and Happinessof every Inhabi tant upon it. — Principal Branches of the Steward's Office. — The Stew ard fond of keeping up a set of Bailiffs and Bullies of his own, ready for any thing he chooses to set them upon. — Hence involving the Manor in endless Quarrels, and boundless expense John Bull once a little too familiar with the celebrated Whore of Babylon. — Having quar relled and kicked her out of doors, has had long and violent Disputes with her son Peter — who pretends to have been married to John Bull's Mother} which that Lady constantly and strenuously denies. The first and leading principle upon the Manor of Albion is, — that it is a Family Estate ; and in the Ma nagement of it, regard is to be had to every individual of the Family, and in some degree to all avIio live upon, or hold of the Manor. And every Office, Law, Custom, and Rule of Court on the Manor, is estab lished with a vieAv to this great Object. Of the Office of Head SteAvard, we have already taken some notice, and assigned the reason for its being made hereditary ; but still subject to be controlled, or altered, by the general Avill and determination of the Family. Chiefbranches The chief branches of this Office are:— First, — ardVofficeT To hold all courts belonging to the Manor for the 19 maintenance of its Rights and Customs, for settling all Book 1. ch. 3. Disputes and Differences among the Tenantry and Holders on the Manor, and preserving general Peace and good order on the Estate. Secondly, — To carry into Execution all Decisions and Orders of Courts, and to put in Effect whatever is determined by the general consent of John Bull and his Family in the Sage and Folk-meeting. For which purpose the Steward has proper Officers under him ; Avho may, indeed, if necessary, call in the assistance of the Avhole of the Folk on the Estate. And it may be worthy of notice here, that by the ancient Custom of the Manor, these subordinate Officers were also chosen and appointed by the Family or Folk them selves ; though the Steward has now, among many other encroachments, assumed to himself the privilege of appointing thein. And instead of calling in the assistance of the Tenantry and Neighbours, on any extraordinary occasion, is mighty fond of employing a set of mercenary Lawyers, Bailiffs, and Bullies, Avhom he keeps in constant pay about him ; and who often, on such occasions, care not Avhat mischief they do ; as they are sure the Steward's office will abet, and protect them. A Third Branch of the Steward's Office is, — To Pernicious par- guard the Marches and Boundaries of the Manor from Stewarts for all Trespasses and Encroachments of the Neighbours ; £™*uYtSs.and and to carry on all Lawsuits about such Boundaries, or any other occasion of Difference or Dispute with the neighbouring Proprietors or Stewards. This branch of the Office, through the partiality of the several d 2 20 Book i. ch. 3. Stewards for Lawsuits, has gone near to ruin the Estate and Family. For the Steward, under pretence of be ing always prepared to defend the Manor from Tres pass and Encroachment, and to protect the Tenants and Holders from injuries and Avrongs, has got into the practice of keeping in constant pay an incredible num ber of Lawyers, Attornies, Constables, Bailiffs, and all the inferior Train of the LaAV : all paid out of John Bull's pocket ; and if set on by the Steward or his Agents, all as ready to attack John himself, or to knock out the brains of any one too zealous for his interest, as of any of his greatest enemies. And as a great Lawsuit must necessarily throw the disposal of a great deal of money into the hands of the Steward, he and his Agents, his Clerks and Scriveners, take care to keep the Family involved in almost perpetual Law suits ; and of consequence, in uncalculable Expence. And in hopes of sharing in this endless drain of wealth from the Estate, every branch of the Bull Family that pretends to any distinction, must, of course, bring up their younger Sons to the Profession of the Law ; or educate them as candidates for Clerkships and Appoint ments in the Steward's Office, or Houshold ; which are now become objects of ambition with even the most ancient and honourable Branches of John's Family. And countless Offices and Appointments at the disposal of the Steward, are created for the mere purpose of diffusing allurement and Influence, lavishing the Fami ly's money, and keeping up a parcel of the most idle, most useless, and most worthless dangling dependants about the Steward's Office, ready, at his nod, for every base and pernicious purpose. 21 It has already been observed, that anciently on the Book l. ch. s. Manor of Albion, the Stewards had, for the most part, been bred to the Profession of the Law. This was, in deed, a general custom in all the Manors of the neigh bourhood ; and from this cause, the SteAvards in most of them have been able to oust the lawful Possessors, and to seize the Estates into their own hands. And in consequence, in most of the Great Manors on Terra- firm, these Stewards were, by luxury, effeminacy, and a perverted education, degenerated into mere Drivel lers, Sots, and Idiots. And the greater part of them had lately been kicked out of doors by one Beneparte, au interloper, who has, indeed, disposed of their Offices and Possessions, as it is said the Devil did of the Monks, i. e. kept the greater part to himself. — But of thi hereafter. Perhaps it will be said — As John Bull's SteAvard is only a Steward, how could he thus lavish the money of the Family and Ruin the Estate? — Since, though he might devise Lawsuits, and commence Quarrels, he could not carry them on, except John and the Family chose to supply him with Cash through the medium of Mrs. Bull's Office. — Formerly, indeed, that was the case; „, , _ . _ J ' Shameful In- but now things are wofully changed; and thereby trigues be- hangs a Tale of shameful and disastrous import, to be steward'sof- ,,.,.. -.it.. /¦ i a, ficeandMrs. told in due tune; concerning the Intrigues ot the atew- Bull's do- ard's Office in Mrs. Bull's Houshold and Family, and the infamous commerce of Prostitution and Seduction carried on between the Clerks of that Office and Mrs. Bull's Domestics. Some, indeed, will have it, that Mrs. Bull and the Steward are entirely innocent, and that the whole infamy of this nefarious scene lies with UICSUC6. 22 Book 1. ch. s. Mrs. Bull's Domestics and the Clerks and Agents in the Steward's Office, — others again maintain that the Clerks and Agents are nothing more than the Pimps and Go-betweens of the Steward. As to poor Mrs. Bull, it must be confessed, that she is no longer Mistress of her own House. This, however, is certain, that by means of these Intrigues, the Steward draws from the Family, through Mrs. Bull's office, just whatever mo ney he pleases. The Domestic ^ut perhaps, it should have been premised — that Economy of jonn Ra\i having been, especially in his younger days, and Manor agoon Companion and Free Liver, had very wisely consigned to r Mrs, Bull, consigned to Mrs. Bull s care, the whole of his Do mestic Economy, the providing for, and managing of all family Expences, and the examining and settling all Accounts with the Steward. And for the purpose of advising, aiding, and assisting her in these extensive concerns, the Sage-meeting and Folk-meeting above mentioned, were formed into an Accountant Office, and considered as part of her Houshold Establishment. By management Avith these, and by means of the In trigues above mentioned, the Steward is never at a loss for Cash to carry on a LaAvsuit. The truth is, John himself was always mightily alive to a hopeful LaAV- suit. And being of a sanguine Disposition, is, by the selfish Stewards into whose hand it is sure to draAV cash, at all times easily engaged in laAV. It must indeed be here confessed, that John Bull, being of a warm temperament, Avas in his youth in most things, as such youths generally are, a little wild and extravagant. Nobody Avas readier for a Mad Frolic; nobody more forAvard to kick up a Roav, or enter into 23 Broils and Quarrels; nobody made less account of Book l. ch.s. breaking WindoAvs, knocking doAvn a Watchman, or beating up a Wench's Quarters. John Bull has, particularly, had long and violent quarrels with the celebrated Whore of Babylon ; with Avhom, it must be confessed, he was once a little too familiar. But John having since quarrelled Avith her, discarded her, and kicked her out of doors : the conse quence has involved him in much trouble, and many expensive Lawsuits with her and her more favoured Gallants. At one time indeed, and that before he had discarded her ; by the chicanery and dexterity of some of her agents, and the baseness and treachery of one of his own Stewards,* under the management of the Notorious Peter, Avhom she calls her Eldest Son, in whose right she claims, she had almostousted John of his Avhole Estate and Manor. And no little time, trouble, and expence, it cost, entirely to repossess himself, and eject the intruder. The Mansion House, indeed, and the principal part of the Manor, the zeal and indigna tion of the Family soon enabled him to recover. But the Strumpet long held possession of John's Mother's House, t and the Lands on which her Jointure was settled, to which she still affects to lay claim in behalf of her Son Peter, Avho, she pretends, was married to John Bull's Mother, and had children born alive by her ; and whom, she says, one of the SteAvards in a quarrel, unjustly kicked out of doors, and obliged the Lady to divorce. All this the good Lady strenuously * Supposed to be John Landless. + The Church of England.— Pret. Com. 24 Book l. ch. S. denies. And she further affirms, that Peter himself is but a base-born upstart fellow, a Bastard begot by Belzebub, upon this same Whore of Babylon. And who, by a pretended Commission from her real Hus band, — which is known to be a palpable Forgery, — and by tampering with her Servants in the absence of their Master, had got info her Husband's House, cor rupted the whole family, and turned out of doors, or even hanged or burnt, every one whom he suspected of the least fidelity to their master, her real Husband. — Thus, for many years, Peter had held possession of Madam Bull's House and Jointure Lands, till in a quarrel with one of her Son's Stewards, he was, as we shall see, very deservedly turned out of doors. BOOK II. Chap. I. Contexts. — Of the forcible Introduction into the Stewardship, and vio. lent Seizure of the Estate into his own hands, by Guillam de Nor. world. — Thisforcible Intrusion tlie sole foundation of the enormous Pretensions of succeeding Stewards— and to recover his Possession and Natural Rights thus forcibly seized the object of all the successive trugglcs and contests of the Family with the Stewards.— This Reco very, through the constant, encroaching, and incorrigible Character of such men, yet imperfectly accomplished. And every step toward it obtained only by Necessity, and strong Compulsion. In our continuation of these Memoirs our principal The two main object will be — First, — To relate the cause, and course these S Me- of things, by which the Stewards had seized into their own hands John Bull's Estate, and become master both of him and his Manor. And next, to point out the successive steps thai have been taken by the Bull Family for the recovery of their Manor and Rights ; and to mark as Ave proceed, how it has come to pass, in consequence of this seizure, — that, while the SteAvard's Clerks and Agents, and every attendant and hanger-on about the SteAvard's Office, — many of E moirs. 26 Book 2. ch. l them, of tlie meanest capacity and basest charac- AVhiie every ter, are loaded Avith Avealth beyond all the uses of na- Attendantin _ theStcward'sture, and wallowing in Luxury and Voluptuousness lows in vo- even to infamy and contempt, — John Bull himself is jonn°Bu"fon on the brink of Bankruptcy, his Manor House, Con- Bankruptcy!slituti°n Hall, ready to fall about his ears through neg- f" miiy^eg- iect and Avant of Repairs, his Estate mortgaged beyond gars. the value of its Fee-simple, and half his Family often have not a Avhole coat to tlieir backs, nor a morsel of bread to put in their mouths, but Avliat they obtain by begging, or the assistance of the Parish. The intrusion Whilst the Stewardship continued in a branch of deNnrworid John Bull's own Family, the affairs of the Estate were ardship, and" conducted with some regard to the family interest. B ut quecces?nSe" an unlucky affair having thrown both the Stewardship and the Estate into other hands, the event has been folIoAved by a long train of disastrous consequences ; Avhich, notwithstanding the strong remedies that from time to time have been applied, are not, to this day, entirely removed. This event was the forcible intru sion of one Guillam de Nonvorld, an adventurer from the Frankland Family and Manor, into the Stewardship ; Avho soon aftenvards ousted the whole Bull Family seized the Estate and Manor into his oAvn hands, and parcelled it out among his rapacious Clerks, LaAvyers, Bailiffs, and Bullies, avIio had assisted him in gettino- possession of the Stewardship. And that the effects of this Intrusion and Seizure are not yet entirely removed is evident from the Stile and Language of the SteAvard's Office unto this day ; where such phrases as these— ' My Manors,'—' My Palaverium,'—' My faithful Folk-meeting,' and the like, are in constant use by the 27 Steward. This mode of speech passes noAV unnoticed, Book-2. ch. l. and unsuspected. But it is a genuine Relict of that Usurpation Ave have mentioned; and let John Bull be- Avare ; the dog who ceases not to groAvl and shew his teeth at the full length of his chain, Avill assuredly bite, if he can slip, or break it. But to give some account of this disastrous event. Peter pretcnd- — We will begin with observing that the celebrated married to Peter, or Lord Peter, pretending to have been married Mother,' on to John Bull's Mother, had at one time acquired great JnUurnc^reon influence in her House, and assumed an almost absolute tlie Manor- authority in all her concerns. And among other va garies, he took it into his head to forbid any of her do mestics to many ; and also strongly recommended ce libacy to the whole Bull Family. Now Pious Ned, the Steward, whom we have al ready mentioned, was so much devoted to this maxim of Peter's, that he would never marry ; or, if married, Avould never accompany Avith his Avife. And, indeed, could he have effected it, would have kept John Bull also, as the phrase is, all his life-time tied to his Mo ther's apron-strings. This Steward, in consequence of such a maxim, dying Avithout legitimate issue, left room for pretentions to the Stewardship, which, in the event, proved most fatal to John Bull and his Family. Immediately upon the decease of this Pious Ned, Hariodassumes as we have said, without Issue, one Harlod, whose Fa- *hfpf teward" ther Goodgain had been a great favourite both with John and his Steward, stepped into the Stewardship ; under pretence that he had been nominated to it by the said Ned, his Predecessor. And though John Bull $.2 28 Book 2. ch. l. might have expected to have been consulted on such an occasion ; yet, his father having been, as was said, a favourite Avith the Family, Harlod found no great op position on the Manor. But one Guillam de Nor- Avorld, a Copyholder on the Frankland Manor, setting up also the same pretension of being nominated by Pious Ned, Avould assume the Office, not only without consulting John Bull, but in direct defiance of him and all his Family. This Avas such an insult as John could not possibly put up with, and therefore he readily agreed to support Harlod's pretensions ; in short, an action of Quo Warranto being immediately brought by Guillam against Harlod, he was ejected, and even lost his life in the quarrel. After a deci- It must be confessed, that on the present occasion, Bar is^jecl- the cause was not, as LaAVSuits generally are, protracted Tam^e Nor- from Term to Term by the chicanery of Lawyers. Here the Parties on each side being themselves LaAvyers by Profession, and at Law in their OAvn Cause, Issue Avas soon joined ; and the Suit closed by one decisive Trial at Bar, Avhich ended in favour of Guillam. or though Guillam did not, I believe, retain one Lawyer of John's Family, nor had one holder on the Manor on his side ; yet having, beside Bailiffs, Bullies and Ban ditti Avithout number, brought a whole Train of hungry LaAvyers from the Frankland Manor, whom he pro mised to reAvard Avith Clerkships and other Appoint ments in the SteAvard's Office, and with parcels of John Bull's Estate ; Avhich he knew he could easily find pre tences to seize, and to share out among them — he thus brought the cause to issue at once; and, true or false, had a Verdict in his favour. 29 It must be allowed, that this cause was vigorously Book 2. ch l. defended by Harlod, and the Squire himself supported it with all his means and poAver ; but Harlod having fallen a victim to fatigue and great exertions in the cause before it came to a decision, the Verdict was as Ave have stated ; and, in consequence of this Verdict, Guillam took immediate, and forcible, Possession of the Stewardship. But though Guillam's claim was at first only to the Guillam seizes SteAvardship, he soon found pretences and means to Estate into oust the Proprietor, and to seize the whole Estate into hands. mm his own hands, which he afterwards parcelled out at pleasure among his craving Clerks and LaAvyers, Avho had assisted him in seizing the possession. And so far was John Bull at this time from being able to make any effectual resistance, or to eject him either from the Estate or SteAvardship, that it appears, from an authen tic Record of that day, that in a short time there Avas not a man of John Bull's Family left in possession of one foot of Land on the Avhole Manor. Here it may be proper to pause a little, and to ob serve — That this forcible intrusion of Guillam Nor- world into the Stewardship, and consequent violent seizure of the Estate, is the sole foundation of all the enormous Claims and extravagant Pretensions of sue- xheusurpation cecding SteAvards; and of that presumptuous and as- ^worTd'the suming Stile Avhich they affect even to this day. And foundation of >~ ^ J all the enor- to recover back his Property, and Natural Rights and ni"us claims 1 a of succeed- Possession out of the rapacious grasp of those Usurpers, ingStewards. and to reduce them to their natural and proper station, lias been the object of all the violent struggles John Bull has been obliged to maintain with the successive 30 Book 2. ch. 1. SteAvards ; and this Recovery is, even at this day, but imperfectly effected. John has, indeed, constantly disputed their pretensions, and asserted his own Right; and has had many Lawsuits Avith them, which have generally ended in his favour. And he has frequently even turned individuals out of the Stewardship, and introduced others under necessary restrictions; and once, perhaps a little too rashly, actually had one hanged for his presumption, and mal-practices. Not- Avithstanding all this, yet such in general is the assum- The encroach- ing, encroaching, and incorrigible character of men of corrigible that Station, that they are constantly * setting up new, stelvardkin. or reviving old Claims ; or, usurping and extending their authority and poAver, Avithout any ostensible claim at all. And this in spite of the most forcible Restrictions, the most clear and decided Rights, the most binding Obligations, and the most solemn Oaths and Engage ments to the contrary. The truth is, through the great improvement, and increased value, of John's Manor by the activity and industry of his Family, since he has in part reco vered the possession of it, so much money goes through the SteAvard's hands, that he is able, under various pre tences, to keep up a number of Lawyers, Solicitors and Clerks, beside a set of worthless parasitical Expect ants of Place and Appointment, always hanging on about his Office ; and these all ready for the basest and most profligate undertaking that can be proposed to thein — so that the honest, easy, unsuspecting Squire is by no means a match for them. And though, Avhen they have come to an open quarrel, and ;i fair Trial at LaAV, John, as having Right It on his side, has generally obtained Judgment in his Book 2. ch. 1. favour ; yet by chicanery, by influence, by art, and collusion, the Stewards have still contrived, and do still contrive, to evade the force and due execution of every Sentence and Judgment obtained against them, and to elude every obligation to honour and honesty that can be laid upon'them. And noAV, by the Intrigues of the Steward's Office, and that commerce of Prostitution, carried on as Ave shall have occasion to mention — be tween the Steward's Agents and Mrs. Bull's Domestics, they have, in effect, at this time, got nearly as entire Possession of John Bull's Estate, and as much the command of his Property, as Guillam Norworld him self had ; with this additional advantage, — that John having still the nominal Possession, his family are still induced to labour upon it, and to cultivate it for them. And this they have done, with that activity, industry, and ingenuity, that they have brought to the highest state of cultivation and improvement, Avhat those vo racious Drones, in their own hands, would soon have devoured, and might at this day, in all probability, been as much Outcasts, and Vagabonds, as the Baboon Family themselves lately were ; and may probably soon again be. But let us now proceed to trace the successive steps by which all this has been effected; and by which John Bull has, through many hard struggles, recovered his Estate, in profession at least, out of the hands of the Usurper; and even reduced the SteAvard's Office and Authority within certain acknowledged bounds, and nearer to its original limits. And as Ave proceed, let it be especially observed, — that not once concession 32 Book 2. ch. 1. has been made, not one step towards this Recovery Avas ever obtained from those Usurpers by their will or con sent, Avithout being extorted by necessity and doAvn- right compulsion. Chap. II. Contents. — The cruel oppressions exercised by Guillam Norworld upon the Bull Family— AVhole Parishes desolated, and the Inhabitants turned out destitute of every tiling — in order to convert their Posses sions into Forests for wild Beast, Deer Parks, and Shooting Grounds —The most shocking Mutilations enacted as the punishment for any violation of these Sporting Grounds, or killing any of. the AA'ild Crea tures belonging to them. — The Curfew, or Coverfire Horn — The Ma nor of Albion a Palatinate, having sovereign jurisdiction within it self. — Patient endurance a distinguished feature of the Bull Charac ter — But when that is tired out, decisive and vigorous action a no less distinguishing feature Hence a hint to John Bull's present Drivers. The piiiiers It Avould be painful, especially to John Bull and his of Guillam Family, for Avhom I write, to enumerate the shocking instances of Injustice and Oppression, of Insult and Cruelty, exercised upon their Ancestors, by Guillam tie Norworld and his Successors. Guillam, indeed, did not long even pretend to act as Steward, but openly assumed the full possession, and conducted himself as sole Proprietor, of the Estate ; nor regarded Copy of Court Roll, Custom of the Manor, or any Tenure whatsoever ; but disposed of every thing merely by his own arbitrary Avill. In consequence of Avhich, he not only gave away the Rights of the Lands among 33 his craving train of Clerks and LaAvyers ; but for the Bjok 2. ch.2. mere purpose of providing Pleasure Plots and Sporting Grounds, turned the Inhabitants out of their houses, throughout whole Villages and Parishes ; and Avith the most pitiless barbarity, left them stripped of all their Property, to perish by hundreds for Avant of food, clo thing, and shelter ; and all this for the sake of mere amusement, to make room for Pleasure-Grounds, Ten- nis-Courts, Cricket-Fields, Dog-kennels, Deer-Parks, and Menageries for Wild Beasts,* for the Entertainment of himself and his insolent Clerks and Lawyers ; Avho had now nothing else to do but to sport, and drink, and riot, and reA'el on John Bull's Estate and Property. In short, within a few years after this intrusion of Guil lam Norworld, not one of John Bull's family, as has been said, Avere left in possession of a single acre of Land on the whole of his large Estates and extensive Manors ; but were reduced to be dependents and vas sals upon those Lands which Avere formerly their own. Indeed, to such a degree did Guillam carry his usur pation and oppression, that for some time John's family Avere in no better state than Boors, or Predial Slaves ; and Avere transferred from one Master to another, with the lands they lived upon, at the mere Avill of the Pos sessor.* And so far was the contempt for the persons and Shocking pun- lives of the Inhabitants, and the partiality for those trespasses ,','« Sporting Grounds carried, that it was a greater Crime, ""suortin"' s and subjected to severer Punishment, to kill one of the Gnn"rjds- Birds or Wild Beasts within, or which had escaped out from, any of those Aviaries or Parks, or to commit any Forests and Forest-laws. — Pretd.Cem. F 34 Book 2. ch.2. Trespass upon those Sporting Grounds, than to kill a Man of John Bull's Family. And such Avas the prac tice of chopping off of Feet, Hands, and Heads, such the Manglings, Mutilations, Castrations, and various other Tortures inflicted for these Trespasses,t that it is truly shocking to read or hear the mention of them. And, indeed, they would be altogether incredible, did not both the Facts, and LaAVS, stand still upon Record in the Courts of the Manor : for the above is not a list of cruelties set doAvn at random, but the specific Punish ments expressly prescribed, and daily inflicted, for tres passes on those Sporting Grounds. And so jealous was the conscious Usurper, and so afraid of plots and vengeance, which he knew he had deserved, that all the Inhabitants of the Manor were obliged to shut up their Houses, to extinguish their Fires, and to put out their Candles, at the sound of a Horn which Avas blown at a certain hour, called the Coverfire Horn ; after which, if a light was seen in the house of any of the Bull family, the inhabitants of it were subjected to the punishment! above mentioned. The Albion It may, perhaps, be proper to premise here — that iatinate,with John Bull's Manor of Albion is a kind of Palatinate, SOnsdSi"'ant' nas a Legislative Sovereignty, and Independent within itself. jurisdiction, within itself. It will easily be supposed that at this time, the Building of John Bull's Manor House, or Constitution Hall, Avas entirely at a stand. Not only so, indeed, but what had been already raised, was suffered to fall again into ruins ; or even pulled down by the insolent Intruder. At this period the Bull Family may be con- + Forests and Forest-laws Pield. Com. 35 sidered as at the hrwest stage of human depression and Book % ch. 2 misery ; and in this degraded state they continued du ring the whole Stewardship of Guillam Norworld. There is a kind of patient enduring hardiness in Patient hardi- the Bull character, Avhich at this time stood John in gSing'rea- great stead ; and it would appear, that though he saAV Buucharac- himself and family sunk thus Ioav, he never lost entirely ter' either his hopes or his spirits. This seems, indeed, to be a distinguishing Characteristic of the Bull Family — that though, upon any little distaste, provocation, or disaster, which only stirs and frets their passions and humours, they are apt to sink into despondency and dejection of spirits, and are ready to bang and droAvn themselves. — Yet, on great occasions, fit to rouse the stronger passions, and call forth Vigour of Mind and Strength of Character, none have borne heavy calami- Determined ties with more patience, firmness, and fortitude ; nor noe*°essIOdi* extricated themselves from them Avith more prudence, feafure.inS determination, and spirit, when the just Moment for Resolution and Action has arrived. And as from the first of these Dispositions, — his Passive Endurance, — we may account for the patience Avith Avhich John bears his present burdens; and, lest his sufferings should force him, in spite of patience, to cry out, submits to go abroad with a Gag in his mouth.* This last a —So from the second, — his Spirit and Resolution when cumstance,- Determination and Action become decisively necessary Piy a hintTo — we may still hope that he will aAvake in time to save Drivers. " his Family, his Manor House, and his Estate. And that Avhen his present drivers have goaded him to the full measure of his patience, he will summon up suf- * The Pitt and Grenville Acts.— Pretd. Comt. F2 36 Book 2. ch.2. ficient Resolution and Spirit to sheAV them that John Bull is still himself; and will be Master of his own Family, Disposer of his OAvn Estate, and Lord of his own Manor. These are considerations that might surely deserve the attention of those Knaves of the Steward's Office, Avho seem, and not Avithout some reason, to reckon upon John Bull's patience being inexhaustible ; and that his Spirit is entirely worn out, and his Character changed. It must be confessed, that John at present certainly exhibits a striking instance of one part of the Christian character ; that charity, which ' beareth all Those Drivers things.' Though it Avould seem that those who lay his sume ° upon present burdens upon him are apt to ascribe to him ra- As^ihan'ofther tne character of Isachar the Jew, than of John .he family the Christian,— rather that of the Ass than of the Bull Character. — Isachar is a strong Ass couching down between two burdens : and from the nature of the bearing required of him, this is certainly the more appropriate charac teristic — " He bowed his shoulders to bear, and be came a servant unto tribute." But more of this Avhen Ave come to that part of the subject to which it be longs. In this disastrous state of his Affairs, Avhich con tinued t» the death of Guillam Norworld, John seems to have lain by in sullen silence, with determined pa tience to Avait occasion : as perhaps, he also does at pre sent. And some events soon happened to revive his hopes, and gave him an opportunity of coming a little more forward in the scene. 37 Chap. III. B30k . ch.3. Contents — The Stewardship of Guillam Redbeard.— Here commence the successive Steps by which John Bull recovered his Estate out of the Hands of the usurping Stewards On the death of Guillam Nor world, his eldest Son Bob being out of the way, his younger Brother, Billy Redbeard, takes possession of the Stewardship.— This a circum stance highly favourable for John Bull— as the Usurper found it con venient to conciliate the good will of the Folk on the Manor, of which the Bull Family still formed a great Majority.— John not a wanting to himself and Family on this occasion— From being mere Vassals on their own Lands, they obtain more liberal Tenures— A Fact requiring constant attention — that to this day not one concession has been ob tained from these Usurpers, but by strong and irresistible necessity. When this Guillam de Norworld died, his eldest Son Bob, who lived on the Manor of Norworld, and should have succeeded him, being absent, his second Son, Billy Redbeard, being on the spot, immediately seized posses- beard usurps sion of the Albion Manor. And, before his Brother could his Eider t i • , , • i , BrotherBob. take-the necessary steps to dispossess him ; he, by indul gences to Tenants, and by favours and fair promises to all who lived on the Estate; — among whom, John's Family Avere too numerous to be entirely overlooked — • found means so well to confirm his usurpation, that his Elder Brother Avas obliged to come to a compromise with him, and to leave him in possession of the Estate for his life. This was an occurrence greatly in John This a circum. Bull's favour. In point of conscience, of- affection, or ~{an^e '"S" of right, it was, indeed, a matter of perfect indifference Buii'sfavour to John, which of the two usurpers held the Manor ; but with respect to his own vieAvs and pretensions, the most exceptionable Possessor was certainly preferable ; as in a Possession so got, and so kept, it must be of great importance to the Usurper, if possible, to stand Avell with all that held of, or lived upon, the Estate ; 38 Books ch.s. and John Bull's Family, however depressed, being by far the most numerous portion of the Inhabitants, Guillam found it necessary to pay some attention to them. Nor was John a wanting to himself and Family, or slack in taking advantage of the occason, and as suming the importance it gave him. The Bull Fam- Thus, from being mere Vassals, or at best, Tenants gin wPbettep at Will, some of the Family found means to improve tion' S'tUa their Tenures, and to obtain Leases, Copyholds, and a few, even Freehold Rights, in their Possessions. This Avas the first step made by John towards recovering Possession of his Manor; an object which he never seems to have lost sight of, or to have omitted any op- For which ob- portunity of asserting his claim to. And from this "have been in time, to the present, the Family have been engaged in struggle5 a"o almost constant struggles with the successive Stewards "*> av- for their remaining Rights, Property, and Privileges ; an object which, though it has not been altogether un successfully attempted, has yet been but partially ob tained. Or rather, whatever has been at one time most effectually obtained, has, by the constant encroaching character of the Stewards, been again so entirely voided, annulled, or evaded, that all has been in a manner to begin again. And perhaps, John Bull, his Family, and Property, were never, in fact, so entirely at the Avill and disposal of the Steward as at this very mo ment ; nor more immediately in danger of Ruin from being so. And it is highly worthy of observation, and a point lo Avhich the attention ought constantly to be called, — that notwithstanding the shameful Usurpation by which this Norworld Race of Stewards, from Avhich 39 all since are descended, came into office, and the pal pable violence by which they seized the Estate, and that this is the original foundation of the pretensions of all the successive Stewards, — yet not one Pretension has been voluntarily resigned, not one Right conceded, not one Usurpation surrendered, but what has been ex torted by dint of imperious necessity, and downright compulsion. And even Avhen some of them have been expelled the Office, some banished the Manor, some hanged ; and others substituted in tlieir stead, on ex press condition of restricting themselves simply to the Duties and Exercise of the Stewardship, and managing the Affairs of the Estate solely for the Proprietor, and under his controul and direction by the LaAvs of the Manor. — Yet no sooner have they got into office than they have begun, — some more openly, some more co vertly, — to act the very same part Avith their predeces sors — to consider the Estate and all upon it as their Property, and to waste it with the most boundless Pro fusion, in vain pomp, parade, luxury, and vice, — to lavish it on their Minions, Amours, Mistresses, Bas tards, Pimps and Panders; and by degrees to assume all the pretensions of the most acknowledged, and pun ished, usurpers. — So true is the saying of the Satirist : Rams enim ferroe sensus communis in ilia Fortuna — So rare almost is even Common Sense in that Station of life.* And such, in general, is the incorrigible cha racter of Stewards. * If instead of Common Sense, we render it a Sense of the Common Rights of Mankind— as some have done— the observation will be equally just, and equally applicable here. Book 2. ch. 3". Not one pre tension of the Norworld Usurper yielded by his Succes sors, to this day, but by necessity and strong com pulsion. 40 Book 2. ch. 4. ChAP. IV. Contents.— The Stewardship of Harry Good-clerk, or Harry the Scholar. —On the death of Billy Redbeard, who had his Brains knocked out at play in those Sporting Grounds we have mentioned, the luckless elder Brother Bob being still further out of the way than before— Harry, another younger Brother, steps into the Stewardship— This Event still more in favour of John Bull ; as Harry, to secure his Pos session was glad to make still further Concessions to the Family,— in consequence of these, John Bull gets his Privileges confirmed by an authentic Instrument in Writing— now begins to resume the Port of a Gentleman. Harry the scho- It was not long before another event, with exactly the lar— intrudes . ,, ,, T , himself upon same circumstances as the former, gave John an op- Bob's Right, portunity of still further improving his situation, and manner5 that recovering his Rights. This Guillam Redbeard's had'ldoned Usurpation was but of short continuance. As he was one day playing at Cricket in those Sporting Grounds, from which his Father had stripped, and turned out the poor Inhabitants to perish, he happened to have his Brains beat out by a Cricket-ball, which rebounded from the Bat of one of his Players. It has, indeed, been observed — that, beside other disastrous events to the Family Avhich have fallen out on the same Grounds, this Avas the second Son of Guillam Norworld who had met his fate in them. Which some have considered as a Judgment for the cruelty of stripping and turning out to starve, so many helpless people, and converting their Fields and Habitations into Sporting Grounds for mere pleasure and amusement. When the above event happened, that luckless Wight, the elder Brother Bob, Avas still farther out of the way than before. He Avas now gone to the Country of Sacraterr, along with a set of mad in- 4t fiuuated felloAVS from almost every Manor in Euposia, Book 2. ch. 4. under pretence of zeal and regard for the Memory of a Prince, a great benefactor to Mankind ; to recover out of the hands of the Apistoi the Place Avhere he had been buried. While at the same time, they paid not the least regard to a most excellent sys tem of LaAvs and Moral Institutions which the same Prince had left them ; nor to the most inimitable Ex ample and Precepts Avhich he had personally set before them. To equip himself to join this mad Rabble, Bob had mortgaged his Manor of Norworld to his Brother Guillam ; and being now absent upon this fan- stewardship of tastical business, Harry, another still younger Brother, Harry. stept into the Office of Steward, or rather took posses sion of the Manor of Albion : for at this time the SteAvards might still be said to hold the Proprietorship of John Bull's Estate. This was luckily an event still further favourable for John ; and one which he did not fail to improve. For, as he deservedly considered the whole Family as violent and unjust Intruders, it Avas a matter of no concern to him in point of Right, which of them held the Estate, whilst he was kept out of it. And as he, whose title was worst founded, was likely to be most liberal in concessions, John, for the time, readily acquiesced in this Harry's usurpation; and this procured him many further indulgences. Particularly, the Family were now no longer obliged to extinguish their fires and put out their Candles at the sound of the Usurper's Coverfire Horn ; and thus John Bull might be said to have recovered possession, at least of his own House. G 42 Book 2. ch. 4. But this was not all : for John not now only ex- The First Har- tended and improved his Tenures, but obtained the ry' restoration of some of the Ancient Rules of Court and Customs of the Manor, which had been established in the SteAvardship of Pious Ned ; and to Avhich the Bull Family were very partial. Indeed, those Rules and Customs were not only highly reasonable and conve nient in themselves, but also very favourable to the pri vileges of all who lived upon the Estate, or held of the Manor. For this reason, even the Clerks and LaAv yers of the Norworld Race, to whom the first Guillam had so lavishly parcelled out John's Estate, were ex ceedingly ready to join in obtaining this Restoration of the Courts and Ancient Customs of the Manor, as an improvement of even their Tenures ; for by this they became entitled to the benefit of the Manor House, or Constitution Hall, when they had occasion to attend the Courts of the Manor, and to other privileges which belonged to all Avho lived on the Estate, before Guillam Nonvorld's Usurpation. For then, John, as before observed, lived on his Estate, among his Tenants, who were mostly branches of his own Family, like a Patri arch in the midst of his Descendants; and all were held in a free and liberal condition. And it Avas espe cially provided by the Laws of the Manor, that it should not be in the poAver of any insolent Steward to injure and oppress the Tenants at his pleasure. In this respect, of a liberal Tenure, and well protected Tenantry, Joint Bull's Manor has always been distin guished from almost every one in the whole Country : except on particular occasions, as at the time we are 43 now speaking of, Avhen the LaAVS and Customs of the Book 2. ch. 4. Manor have been entirely subverted by the insolence and usurpation of the Stewards. Thus, this Harry, intruding upon the Right of his The First Har* Elder Brother, as had been the case before Avith Guil- ry" lam Redbeard ; was, like him, glad to resign something further of the unjust and usurped pretensions of the Stewardship ; and agreed to enlarge the Privileges of the Tenants and different Holders on the Manor, in order to attach them more sincerely to his interest in preference to that of his Brother. But he still affected to act rather as Lord of the Manor, than as SteAvard, and to hold John rather as his Feuditory, than as his Lord. At this time, however, those recovered Rights, and Laws, Avhich had hitherto rested wholly on Usage, and the Custom of the Manor, Avere committed to Avriting, Grants a writ- and solemnly sanctioned by all Parties, in Deeds and of Restored Chartered Agreements. And this Avas the first valid " step toward reducing the usurped power of those in truding Stewards, and recovering that entire and ac- knoAvledged possession, which John Bull originally held of his Estate and Manor. John Bull began now again to assume something of the port, and make the appearance, of a Gentleman, and to claim, in behalf of his Family, the Privileges and Protection of the Manor House ; of which the Remains still stood an Evidence of his original Pos session. Some attention began also now to be paid to- Avards repairing the Breaches, and advancing the build ing of this favourite Mansion. Not that the SteAvards either forwarded, or willingly indulged this Work ; for g2 44 Book 2. ch. 4. they wished neither Lord nor Tenant to have any Pri vilege or Protection, but at their immediate will and pleasure. But this was effected by John himself and the Family, who had now recovered some influence on the Manor, and indulged the hope of regaining some permanent and acknowledged Rights in their own Estates. Here Ave will bestow a word or tAvo upon the luck less Elder Brother Bob, though little further connected Avith our subject. In Sacraterr he had gained great re nown, and had even been offered the sovereignty of The hapless the City of Salem, Avhich the Mad Rabble we have the Kider mentioned, had really wrested out of the Hands of tlie Apistoi; but this he declined acceptln ;. And having heard of the death of his Brother Guillam, he hastened his return home, to take possession of the Manor of Albion, according to their Agreement. But alas ! he found himself once more anticipated by this Harry, his other younger Brothcr,who was now in full Posses sion of the Estate. Robert at first brought an Action of Ejectment against his Brother ; but according to the Maxim, that ' Possession is nine points of the law,' The First Har- he found Harry so well fixed in his Usurpation that ry there was little prospect of success. The tAvo Brothers therefore came to a compromise on the same condi tions, as the former between Robert and Guillam — that the present Possessor should hold for Life, and the Re version should be In the Elder Brother. As to John Bull, neither of those presumptuous Intruders once consulted him, or seemed to make the least account of him or his Rights in their Agreement. And John seemed to give himself as little concern 45 which of them retained the Usurpation ; in the hands Book % ch. of either, a disputed Possession was in his favour. But so far was Harry from being satisfied with the present Possession of the Manor of Albion, that found ing his Claim by some quirk of LaAV on the Mortgage made to his Brother Guillam, — he commenced a Law suit for Squire Robert's oAvn Manor of Norworld, and at last absolutely obtained the Possession of it. And thus, by mere dint of Law, in defiance of honour and justice, he stripped his poor Elder Brother of all his Possessions, and sent him to Jail, where he actually kept him till he died. However, all these quarrels and disputes of the usurping SteAvards, were highly favourable for John Bull; as the immediate Possessor, generally, conscious of the injustice, and consequent instability, of his Te nure, still thought it necessary to conciliate, by indul gence, the good-will of the Tenants, and of all who held of the Manor, or lived on the Estate. 46 Book 2.ch. 5. ChAP. V. Contents The Stewardship of Stephen, or Steen, the double Usurper Harry having left but one Daughter, named Madelin, who had a son named Harry, an Infant — consigns to them the Stewardship and Ma nor. — But Madelin being married at a distance, her Cousin Steen seizes the Possession. — The Bull Family do not fail to profit by the great concessions this Steen was glad to make, as conscious of a dou ble Usurpation. — All which Concessions, in the true Stewardical Spirit, the moment he found himself fixed in his Station, he attempts to recal Harry, the Son of Madelin, being grown up, commences a Lawsuit with Steen. — Steen dying, Harry takes undisputed Pos session—His Mother, though alive, foregoing her claim in favour of her Son, The steward- It does not appear that Bob left any Family ; and ship of steen. though Harryj when he died, left but one child, and that a Daughter, named Madelin, married in a distant country ; yet he had the assurance to consign to her the Manor with all upon it, with as little hesitation or con sulting of John Bull as if it had been his own Rightful Inheritance. — But she being, as has been said, married and settled in a distant country, her Cousin Steen, the Son of a Sister of the two preceding Usurpers being brought up, and highly favoured and trusted, by his Uncle Harry, made him the truly Stewardical return, to seize on his absent Daughter's Inheritance, He in truded himself into the Stewardship; and, like the others, soon seized the Avhole Estate into his hand. For John's Family were still too much depressed to be able to vindicate their own Rights. But though John Bull was not yet in a condition effectually' to vindicate his Rights, he never resigned his Claims, and seldom omitted any opportunity that occurred to assert them, and to recover such parts of his Rights and Possessions as he was able to obtain. 47 And particularly he did not fail to profit by the con- Book 2. ch.5. cessions that this Steen Avas glad to make, as conscious that he was a double Usurper, both from John and from the Heir of his own Family ; as, indeed, his two immediate Predecessors also had been. But this Steen was a complete knave, a rogue in grain, without pre tence either to honour or honesty ; and no sooner did he think himself in secure possession, than he attempted to recal every concession he had made. But Harry, the Son of Madelin above mentioned, by a second Husband one Squire Broomstick, being grown up and commencing his rival, to Law they went about the Possession ; but in the end, a Compro mise was made, upon the same terms as in the two for mer instances, — that Steen should hold Possession dur ing his Life, and that Harry should succeed him. And Steen dying the next year after this agreement, this Harry, the Grandson of the former Harry, took Pos session without opposition. For though his Mother Avas still alive, she agreed to forego her claim in favour of her Son. 48 Book 2. ch. 6. Chap. VI. Contents. — Stewardship of the Second Harry, or Harry Broomstick.— This Harry an active, spirited Young Man— nor altogether void of Justice and Generosity — Renews, by express Deed, all the Privileges granted to the Family by his Predecessors— and restores some more of the Ancient Laws and Customs of the Manor. — Somewhat unfor tunate in a Dispute with the celebrated Peter, on account of one Tom Pecket, Domestic Steward to John Bull's Mother. — This Peter one of the most impudent, audacious, assuming Fellows in the AVorld. The steward- This Harry, called, from the name of his Family, Second Har Harry Broomstick, was an active, alert, spirited Spark, not altogether destitute of Justice and Generosity, nor unworthy of the Stewardship, had it come to him by a rightly derived title, and been held, according to the Constitution of the Manor, as a delegated Office and Trust, but as he acceded in an usurped Succession, it Avas natural for him to wish to hold Possession as he had received it. He, however, renewed, by express Deed, all the Privileges granted to the Tenants, under whatever te nure they held, by his Grandfather, or any other of his Predecessors ; many of Avhich had been violated, in- croached upon, or arbitrarily set aside, by the succes- Rencws by ex- siye Stewards, Avhenever they thought themselves suf- aiTthe Privf- hciently fixed in their stations. He also agreed to the byehiSndd-restorin& of some more of the Ancient Manorial Cus- someefurThertoms and Rules of Court> established by Alfrank and indulgences. Pious Ned ; which Avere still highly prized, and fondly claimed by John Bull's Family. Who, though they could in general, still be reckoned only Tenants at will on their own Estates, were daily claiming and recover- 49 ing more and more of their ancient and natural Rights Book 2. ch. 6. and Possessions. But this Harry was somewhat unfortunate in a Harry's unfor- dispute he had with that famous Peter, whom Ave have puuntete with already had occasion to mention, on account of one eter' Tom Pecket, domestic SteAvard to John Bull's Mother. This Peter, or, as he will have himself stiled, Lord Peter, from a mere obscure pedant, had become one of the most audacious and presumptuous Fellows that ever was heard of in the world. And from being Head Schoolmaster, Character of or Inspector of the Schools, for public Instruction in Peter. tAvo or three Parishes adjoining to his own, had, by degrees, assumed a pretence to dictate to every person upon every subject. Nor was it only in matters of speculation, opinion, and sentiment, that Peter pre sumed absolutely to prescribe ; but being sometimes called in to make Wills for People who could not read or write, and sometimes having the Property of such left in trust to his Fidelity ; he at last assumed the ab solute Right of disposing of all the Property and Power of the whole Country round. But the History and Character of Peter, or, according to his own assumed stde, Lord Peter, and his two Brothers, Martin and John, have been so ably drawn by a masterly hand,* and are so well known, that I shall not here enter fur ther upon them than may be necessary rightly to un derstand the dispute between Peter and Harry : and this much, will, indeed, naturally arise out of the nar ration itself. But there is another person Avhom we have also had occasion to mention, of whom it may be * See Tale of a Tut. H 50 Book 2. ch. 6. necessary to premise a few words — I mean the Pious and Venerable Matron, John Bull's Mother. Chap. VII. Contents.— Some Account of John Bull's Mother, and of the Introduc tion of Schooling and Education into the Family under her Inspec tion. — The notorious Peter, Eldest Son of the celebrated W — re of Babylon, as Visitor-general of Schools, obtains great influence in Madam Bull's* Family — hence takes occasion to give out that he is married to that Lady.— and assumes an uncontroulable Authority, not only in her Houshold, but over the whole of her Son's Family — Sends one Austin as his Deputy to the Bull Family. — This man, wholly devoted to Peter, is for subjecting every thing to his Influ ence. — Becomes Domestic Steward to Madam Bull, — a Station of great importance, — to which Peter ever after claims the right of ap pointing. — Hence arise unavoidable quarrels with John Bull's Steward. John Bull's Mother is a Lady whose Character is so truly respectable, and so universally knoAvn and re spected, that it is unnecessary to enlarge upon it here. Suffice it to observe — that according to the laudable simplicity of ancient Manners, by which Education began under the eye and care of the Mother, this vene rable Matron had the province of early Instruction, Character of and the forming of the Principles and Manners of the Mother. " S whole Family in a great measure entrusted to her care. And, in this trust, she has acquitted herself Avith much fidelity and diligence. Not that she has been able, to * N. B. Through these Memoirs Mrs. Bull always refers to Joho Bull's AVife, Madam Bull to his Mother. 51 the present time, entirely to preserve her Family and Book 2. ch. 7. Servants from the contagion of that all-pervading, and all-perverting, influence of the Steward's Office, or, from that consequent Prostitution which has so tho roughly corrupted and depraved Mrs. Bull's Hous- hold.* In consequence of this pernicious influence, through the treachery of unfaithful Servants, even John Bull's Mother, or at least many in high trust in her Houshold, have been suspected, at times, of favouring the SteAvard's interest in preference to that of her Son, not to say even to that of her Husband. Nor have those unworthy Domestics been held altogether clear of concern in that Commerce of Prostitution so notoriously carried on between the Steward's Office and Mrs. Bull's Houshold. But of this hereafter. From this Trust in the Education of the Family Peter's assum- being confided to John Bull's Mother, the notorious in John Peter, who, as we have said, pretended to preside over ther's Fam uli Seminaries of Instruction, and to be Inspector-gen- ' y" eral of all Teaching and Teachers in the Country, as sumed a Pretence to intermeddle much in her Family ; pretends to especially under colour of giving advice, of pointing maavrriedhc 62 Books, ch. 8. of making it highly conducive to his views of fixing his yoke upon Harry, and exercising an uncontrolled authority in the whole Affairs of the Manor of Albion. The business in itself was bad enough ; but Peter took care to make it ten times worse, by exclamations on the horrors of the deed ; and overlooking entirely the im mediate Actors, endeavoured to excite Heaven and Earth against Harry. And as Peter's pretensions ex tended not only to this world, but to the next, not only to Body and Goods, but to Soul and Spirit, he gave Harry, Soul and Body and all, in due form, to the Devil ; and the Stewardship, and John Bull's Estate, to whoever would take the trouble to take Possession of them ; and forbade the Tenants, and Holders on the Manor, under pain of eternal damnation, to pay their Rents, do Homage, or perform any Service at the Steward's Courts. And however insignificant and ri diculous such a Giving and such a Forbidding may, at this time seem, at that time, they Avere very serious Matters, and not without Effect. For, besides the great Authority that Peter at this period had obtained, there were not wanting some of John's neighbours, of LeAvis Baboon's Family in particular, who were ready to take hold of this pretence to seize upon his Manor. And such was the awe of Peter and his Power, and such the impression it made upon the simple Tenants, that they were not without some dread of his threaten- Peter's dread- ings. Especially, a set of furious Mad Bulls, which ful ui s. jje use(j to sencj an(1 jet ioose Up011 the Country, where- ever his will Avas disputed, struck every body with ter ror. In short, though Harry through his own strength of Character, was not awanting to himself, yet such 63 were the dangers that surrounded him, and the diffi- Book 2. <*,. 8. culties in which this affair involved him, that, in order to extricate himself, he found it necessary to make some very humiliating concessions to Peter. Yet the Caitiffs who committed this truly horrible deed, were allowed to pass without molestation or pun ishment, either from Harry or Peter. Harry could not well punish an action that was done with a view to his Service. And as to Peter, the committing of a murder, was no offence in his sight; and however great a favourite the person murdered might be, he could never have derived from his life, half the Ser vice which he found means to derive from his death. However, Harry having submitted so far as to procure the recal of these dreadful Bulls with their drivers and keepers, became once more Master of him self and his own affairs. Not that he himself made much account of those Bulls of Peter's ; nor were they really so terrible as their roarings and threatening made them appear. But, however, so frightful was their Bellowing, and their Drivers told such dreadful stories of them, that the poor People and Tenants on the Es tate, were horribly afraid of them ; and durst not pay their Rent, or acknowledge the Steward's Authority, in defiance of Peter's prohibition enforced by them.* Now, though John Bull had, by this lime, reco- The above Af- vered a pretty firm footing upon his own Estate, and curable for Harry and he had been always on tolerable good terms, John Bu"- —yet was not this fracas between Harry and Peter * Should any one wish to see a more particular account of these Bulls ef Peter's, he may find it in the distinguished Writer above referred to, who has written the History of the three Brothers, Peter, Martin, ami John. 64 Book 2. ch. 8. without some beneficial effect towards the great object of John's recovering the full possession of his Manor. For Peter thus pretending to give all Harry's neigh bours a right to seize on whatever part of the Estate they could, and to set the Tenants free from all obliga tion to' pay their Rent, or to render Suit or Service at the Steward's Courts — Harry found it necessary, by indulgence, to secure the good will of the Family, and the fidelity and attachment of the Tenants and Holders on the Manor. — And John was sensible that it Avas better for him to continue on his present footing, where he was in a course of recovering his Rights, than to have to do with a new Usurper, under the sanc tion of Peter, where he might have the whole to begin again. — In short, during this Second Harry's Steward- ' ship, John much increased his importance, and made considerable progress in re-possessing himself of his Rights, Privileges, and Property. 65 Chap. IX. Book 2. ch. 9. Contents.— The Stewardship of Dick the Lion-hearted.— This Dick a brave, generous Fellow — hence a favourite with the Bull Family — engages in one of those mad Expeditions to Sacraterr, where incredi ble Stories are told of his Bravery, by which he got the Name of Lion- heart. — But Dick did not long survive his return from this Expe dition. This Harry was succeeded by his Son Dick, a brave Thr. Sle™!'d.- J ship of Dick generous fellow. And as the Bull Family have always a,e Lion" -re ,-u hearted. a great partiality for such a Character, his short Stew ardship passed without much competition Avith the Family. But as he was fond of sports and amuse ment, he was pretty strict in repressing Trespasses on these Sporting Grounds before-mentioned. Yet at the same time — as a brave man is always a humane man — he abolished those cruel and shocking punishments which were wont to be inflicted for such Trespasses, — Castration, putting out of Eyes, cutting off of Hands and Feet, and the like — and endeavoured to restrain them by punishments more consistent Avith humanity. This Dick being a bold dashing Character, among j0ins in the other frolics must needs join in one of these mad expe- tionstoSacr;!- ditions to Sacraterr, and there, many fine Stories are neer\ecomes told of his bold and successful achievements, by which distinguished he acquired the name of Lion-heart; but with these we shall not interfere. Dick was very unfortunate in his return from this excursion, for having occasion to pass through the Manor of Squire South, Avho had some old grudge against him, he, like a sneaking, sordid, treacherous Rascal, as he was, regardless of Dick's generous character, and the laudable object, — as it was then thought, — in Avhich he had been engaged, — had him seized by his Servants and kept him a long time K 66 Book 2. ch. 9. in confinement, nor let him go till a large sum was paid for his liberty : which sum John Bull was generous enough to raise and pay out of his Estate. — In return for this piece of treachery, it is said that a brave Bas tard Son of Dick's, chancing in a Party Rencounter to meet this South, took care to single him out, and to stick by him, tdl he brought off his Head in his Hand. We have said that John Bull was generous enough to pay a large sum to procure the Liberty of this Stew ard ; indeed, the usurpation of the Stewardship had noAV continued so long, that, by custom and habit, it had lost much of the odium and detestation with which it was originally vieAved ; and something of generosity in the character of the two last Stewards had so far conciliated the Family, that some degree of right seemed to be recognised in the Possessor. — But Dick's SteAvardship was short, and he was succeeded by Jack, a younger brother ; and that in prejudice of Arcthur, the Son of another younger Brother, but older than Jack. 67 ClIAP. X. Book 2. ch.lO. Contents. — The Stewardship of Jack, siinamed the Landless. — This Jack of a rash, turbulent, and ungovernable Character — seizes the Steward ship in prejudice of his Nephew, whom he procures to be murdered — A confederacy against him on the Manor — in his utmost distress, Peter, who had hitherto urged on the confederacy — now proposes upon condition, that Jack will consign the Manor and Stewardship to him, and hold them as his Vassal, to dissolve the confederacy, and extricate him from his trouble — these conditions actually accom plished on both sides. — This Confederacy not dissolved without im portant concessions in favour of the Family — particularly on this oc casion was obtained that celebrated Great Roll, which stands to this day the Chief Foundation of Albion Liberty and Privileges, — of which, in tlie next Chapter. At the period of Avhich we are writing, the course of stewardship of Succession was not so regularly fixed as it is at present ; Landless."'6 and the flaw in Jack's Title might easily have been overlooked, had he not himself been of a most rash, turbulent, ungoverned, and ungovernable disposition. In consequence of this character, he was constantly in volving himself, the Family, and all avIio lived on the Manor, in broils, mischief, and misery. Add to this, that he was suspected of having procured the Death of his Nephew, Arcthur, who died in prison ; Avhere, from jealousy, his Uncle had kept him confined. Ex cited by these causes, and innumerable insults and provocations with regard to themselves, John Bull, Avith the principal Holders of the Manor, and even the Clerks and Attendants in his own Office, entered into a confederacy against this Jack. And the eldest Son untractabie of Lewis Baboon having at this time also made a for- Hence a gel cible entry on the Manor of Albion, they Avere even Seracj00"^? ready to join him, and to transfer the Stewardship to ^^l"'^ his Family. Thus Jack found himself involved in the utmost perplexity, danger, and distress. K 3 68 Book 2. ch. 10. Of all these circumstances, Peter, Avho never omit ted an opportunity to fish in troubled waters, Was fully informed, and took care to turn them to advantage. For being at this period in the very height of his PoAver and Presumption, and pretending to dispose of Estates, and Manors, and Avhole Countries, at his pleasure, he 1 V'percuaded to°k tms occasion, of Jack's distress, and danger of the Conho1" l°smo both Manor and Stewardship, to persuade him stewardship, ±0 consign both over to him ; and promised that he Manor, and ^ l Famiiy,T>ver vvould restore them back to him again, and that he to hold them should hold them under him as his Vassal or Feuda- as his Vas- .... . , T . sal. tory ; in Avhich case, neither young .Lewis nor any one else Avould dare to intermeddle with him. And this villainous proposal Jack actually agreed to; and in due form surrendered to Peter, by Livery and Seizin, the full possession of John Bull and Family, the Ma nor, SteAvardship, and every thing connected with, or belonging to either.— And the same day received them back again to hold them of Peter as his Liegeman and Vassal. Upon this, Peter, who had hitherto excited and encouraged every opposition to Jack, and supported young LeAvis in all his attempts, sends him an order in stantly to desist and forego all his pretensions, claims, and acquisitions whatsoever upon the Manor of Albion. — Which Lewis positively refused to do. But that part of John Bull's Family and those leading men on the Manor, Avho, from indignation and resentment of the Steward's conduct, had joined Lewis, soon found out, that though he was willing to make use of them for his present purpose, yet he held them in no better estimation than Knaves and Traitors ; and 69 when he had served his purpose by them, meant to re- Book % ch. 10. ward them as such. Of tlus, they being fully forc- Avarned, abandoned his interest. And in consequence of this, and the strenuous interference of Peter, Avho noAV holding Jack as his Vassal, and Albion as his Pos session, undertook to protect them, Lewis found him self obliged to yield, and demit what he had seized of the Manor of Albion. But though those Malecontents of John Bull's Family, thus instantly abandoned the interest of Lewis, tions attend- their accommodation with John was a matter of more portanth and serious deliberation ; and the event attended with most Jonsequen- important and permanent consequences ; which operate ces' whidl °- r r -i > r perate uuto even to this day. This event may, indeed, be reck- this day. oned the first valid and authenticated Recovery by John Bull of his general Rights, and the Possession of his Estates, since their seizure by Guillam Norworld. This Transaction therefore deserves our particular notice. 70 Book 3. ch. n. Chap. XL Contents.— The Great Roll or Title Deed of John Bull's Manor, with the Steps that led to the obtaining of it. In relating these important Transactions we shall briefly state,— The Great Roll First, — What were the peculiar Immunities, Rights, john ^Bull's and Privileges of the Bull Family, and what the legiti- Manor. mate functions anci Duties of the Steward's Office, and extent of his Authority, before the Norworld Usurpation. Secondly, — What Were the Principal Oppressions, Violations, and Encroachments, made upon these ' Rights and Privileges by the Norworld Usurpation, and continued by the succeeding Stewards. — And Thirdly,- — What were the Rights, Privileges, and Securities, regained and confirmed by the transactions in hand, and secured by this great Charter or Title Deed. — From all which its importance will appear the more clear and conspicuous. First, then, — With respect to the Immunities, Rights, and Privileges of the Bull Family — and the legitimate Functions and Duties of the Stewards Office, and the Extent of his Authority, before the Norworld Usurpation. — We have already observed — that the Bull Family lived upon their own Estate, a brave, free, independent set of men ; acknowledging no superior but of their own setting up, no Authority but of their OAvn conceding, and still at their own control. It is true to the Head SteAvard of the Manor of Albion, the great Patrimony of the Family, they al lowed a very extensive Authority : but this SteAvard 71 was originally one of the Family, and was raised to Book 2. ch. 11. the office by the general consent. But as the great im portance and extensive Influence of this Office excited such emulation and competition as often embroiled the whole Family in quarrels, it was wisely determined, as the lesser evil, to make the Office hereditary in one branch of the Family ; but still subject to a Family control, as many subsequent events fully prove. But all other Offices and Functionaries on the Manor, con tinued still in the immediate appointment of the Family or Folk themselves ; in whose behalf they existed, and among whom they were to be exercised. For in stance, — John Bull's Estates being exceeding extensive, and the Great Manor consisting of many lesser Divi sions, called Shares or Shires, — a Senior, or Elderman, to hold the chief Authority in each of these Divisions or Shares, was chosen by the Folk residing in such Share — Besides the Courts Leet and Courts Baron of the Great Manor, held by the Steward or his Officers, there were also in each Share or Division inferior Courts held by the Elderman, or Chief Magistrate of the Division, for the ready settling of all differences, disputes, or trespasses among the Tenants and Resi- denters on the Estate. And in every such Court the Judges and Magistrates were chosen and appointed by the Neighbours and Tenants of the Division ; as was also one Presiding Officer for the Execution of all Sentences and Decisions in those Courts, called the Share-Reeve, — i. e. the Greeve or Bailiff of the Share, or Shire. — Besides these, a number of respectable Per sons, in every neighbourhood were appointed to hear 72 Book 2. ch. ii. and decide the daily complaints, quarrels, and diffcr- Originaiiy all ences among the neighbours, and io preserve Peace rieTonTheand Good Order in their several Districts. And all bion°'chosVntnese were chosen by those among whom their infiu- ontkeeMa!>ence anc* -Authority lay, and to whom their characters <""• were best known. And even if the Family were en- 1 gaged in any Public Quarrel or Lawsuit abroad, with the neighbouring Lords of Manors, the Attornies, So licitors and Principal Lawyers were appointed by the Family and chief Holders on the Manor. In short, every Functionary, from the Head Steward to the Bai liff on the Farm, were chosen by the general consent of those in Avhose behalf they were to exercise their seve ral Functions. Thus, by the original Custom of the Manor of Albion, iio Right is acknowledged in any Man to exer cise, or to appoint others to exercise, any Power, Su periority, or Authority over the Tenants, Holders, or Inhabitants, but Avhat is conceded by themselves, and exercised by those to whom they have conceded it. Among the most universally beneficent of the Pri- TheGreatRoll. it-.,. vileges and franchises mentioned above, were, per haps, those Subdivision or Home-Courts, as we may call them, for the immediate and expeditious decision of all suits, and differences among the Inhabitants of the Manor. Which, at little or no expence, Avere of more advantage to the Peace and Good Order of the Manor than all the Courts now held in the SteAvard's Name, by a Train of subservient tools and quibbling Casuists appointed by him ; who, at an enormous ex- pence, even under sanction of LaAV, pervert Rigbt, betray the Liberty, and devour the Substance of the 73 Bull Family. Where a Matter, of a few Pounds value, Book 2. ch. 11. shall, after a tedious Process, of many years, be deter mined at the expence of more hundreds of pounds, than the single pounds the original suit was commenced for.* And a man shall be amerced of half his Substance, and confined for years to a jail, for having only spoken a word, or written a Sentence obnoxious to the Steward or his rascally Scriveners. This is surely a most gross and shameful abuse of Justice and Right, as well as of Reason and Common Senstj. Yet, from the hands into Avhich these matters have now got, the evil seems incurable. The Stewards having assumed to themselves the ap pointment to all these Departments ; and having con verted the Dispensation of simple Justice and Natural Right into Artificial LaAV and Fictitious Invention, by mere chicanery and subtle casuistry they have made it the most gainful and thriving Trade carried on in the Manor ; so that the matter seems noAV to be past all remedy. The Right of every one living on the Manor to be convicted, or acquitted, of every Accusation by the Decision of tAvelve respectable persons, his equals and neighbours, who are acquainted Avith his Life and Cha racter, we have formerly mentioned. The Right of every Free Man to a vole in the appointment of Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office, a matter, considering their Trust, of the very utmost importance, we shall have occasion further to mention, when we come to describe * Six persons prosecuted in the Kirk-Court of the Manor for Kirk- fees, Fourpence each, in the whole, Two Shillings, were brought in, for expenccs on both sides, =£293. 12s. 6d. An aged widow for 2s. 8d. Kirk-fees, was, by Prosecution in the Kirk-courts, cast for =£100. and six months' imprisonment. 74 Book 2. ch. 11. the Constitution and Functions of that Office. Let us now pass to the next point proposed, — which was — Secondly, — To state Avhat were the Principal Op- The principal preSsions, Violations, and Encroachments, made upon Oppressions, ¦ ' ' * Violations, those Rights and Privileges by the Norworld Usurpa- & Encroach- to - c. i m, ments intra- tion, and continued by the succeeding Stewards. — The duced by the . . - Norworld u- first of these we shall mention, was, the seizure ot all the Lands of the Manor into their own hands by Guil lam Norworld, and his Successors, and reducing John Bull's Family and all the Folk on the Manor to mere Vassals or Predial Slaves ; which was, indeed, not so properly a violation of any Privilege or Right, as the extinction of all Privilege, Possession, or Right. And while this Usurpation continued in full force, there was properly, no Rights or Privileges to violate. But though this state of things did not last long in its full extent, yet its effects do not cease to operate even at this day ; for out of it arose the absurd notion, that all the Lands of the Manor primarily belong to the SteAvard. A notion, however preposterous, scarcely yet abandoned. The presen' But with respect to the present Race of SteAvards anis°catiieVdon John Bull's Manor, such a notion is peculiarly ah- Bui^Famiiy surc^ anc* ridiculous ; as they Avere strangers, holding ercriseytheof-nota ^oot °^ -^and on the Manor; but called in by the fice of stew- Family merely to exercise the Office of Steward. As ard. ^ J if those who voluntarily conferred the Stewardship upon them, could be supposed to send to Terrafirm for a stranger, to bestoAV upon him the supreme Property in all their Lands, and constitute themselves and their Posterity, his Vassals for ever. From this Usurpation of Guillam Norworld, and this Notion ingrafted upon it, arose all the Encroach- 75 Hlents on private and individual Right, since assumed Book 2. ch. 11, by the Stewards through the whole of John Bull's Es- , , i j • ,1 ,,^,,. .„ The pernicious tates. And innumerable are the Claims and Preten- effect, of the sions that have been set up as founded in this Maxim, ail the Lands Such as — Whenever the SteAvard had any Aveighty or steward! e expensive business on his hand, he claimed the Right of demanding arbitrary Aids and assistance of every man who held Land on the Manor.* — If any Possessor of Land died, the Steward immediately Seized upon it,t and claimed the Right to hold it a Year and a Day, to cut and sell the Timber, and to make Waste upon it % at his Pleasure. After which, the real heir was obli ged to Relieve it by a Fine,\\ before he could obtain the Possession of it. — The Steward also claimed the Guardianship! of all Heirs under Age. And it was his custom to consign such Wards and the use of tlieir Es tates, during their Minority, to some favourite Clerk, Scrivener, or Dependant in his Office, to be used at their Will for their own advantage. He also claimed the Right of disposing of such Wards in Marriage to Avhom he pleased, especially Females who were Heir esses ;§ thereby again gratifying and enriching his Fa vourites.— The Steward also claimed the sole Possession of all Estates and Property, of which the Owners died without their Heirs being knoAvn ; and likewise of all Property forfeited by the Crime or Trespass of the Owner. And if any man purchased Lands of another he must, besides, purchase the Steward's Permission to take Possession of them. * Aids, t Premier Seizin. } Waste. [1 Reliefs. Fine. I Ward ships. ^ Marriage.— Pret. Com. t2 76 Book 2. eh. n. The seizing upon and desolating whole tracts of the Manor, and converting them into Sporting Grounds for the Steward's Amusement, has been already men tioned. Besides which, he also claimed the sole Pro perty of all the Wild Beasts of the Field, FoavIs of the Air, and Fishes of the Sea, at least of the Rivers. And no man, under the Penalty of Castration, putting out his Eyes, or lopping off his Hands or Feet, might kill any Wild Beast, or FoavI of the Air, even on his own Lands ; or catch the Fish in the stream floAving through The enormous ,J _ •= ' injustice of them. But Avhat is most extraordinary on this subject, the Sporting . Laws. — the same Laws are still in force upon the Manor unto this day, and executed Avith more rigour than ever ; only the punishment is changed from a personal to a pecuniary penalty. And noAv, besides the Head SteAv ard of the Great Manor, the Lord of every little Park or Paddock, every one possessed of a certain quantify of Land, assumes the same Right ; while he who has less than the prescribed quantity, or he who immediately occupies the land, and at Avhose cost the Wild Crea tures upon it live, dare not kill a Hare or Partridge, however much damage they may do him even in his Garden. And one who has killed a man has a much better chance to escape with impunity, than one who has clandestinely killed a Pheasant or Shot a Hare ; one Avho has broke into his neighbour's House and rob bed him, is prosecuted with much less zeal and rigour, than one Avho has trespassed upon any of those tabood precincts, or violated any of those sporting Laws. We have already noticed the advantage of Courts and Arbiters, or Judges of Differences among Neigh bours, in every district of John Bull's Estate. And 77 the intolerable Nuisance of the present expensive and Book 2. ch. n. artificial mode of Decision considered, this Avas, per haps, one of the most valuable Customs of the Manor. But the advantage of this, since the Norworld Intru sion has been almost entirely done aAvay by the En croachments of the Steward's Courts. Which now engross the Decision of all Disputes and Differences, by tlie subtile Chicanery of unprincipled Clerks and Scriveners, quirking aud quibbling upon Artificial Laivs ; instead of the unsophisticated Decision of Justice by Right Reason and Plain Common Sense, according to the simple practice of the Bull Family in those ready District-Courts. The Perversion of the Right of Voting in the Ap pointment of Mrs. Bull's Office, the source of almost every other Perversion, we shall have abundant occa sion to discuss after Ave have described the Constitution of that Houshold Office. A nother source of the great perversion of Justice and The si,amcful Right, introduced at the time we are speaking of, and Kirk-Courti. in some degree continued unto this day, was the estab lishment of Kirk-courts, or, as they are sometimes very improperly, not to say impiously, called Christian- courts, claiming a separate and independent Jurisdic tion, in the Name, and under the Authority of Lord Peter. In former times, Avhen John Bull held the full Possession and PoAver of his oAvn Manor, many of Pe ter's People, as belonging to Madam Bull's Houshold, and possessing Property in the Manor, sat in the dif ferent Courts with the Steward's Officers, Seniors, or Eldermen. But now Peter's presumption had arrived at such a height that he claimed the right of holding 78 Book 2. ch. 11 Courts in his own Name, and by his OAvn Authority, and of judging and deciding exclusively concerning all Persons and Things that had any connection Avith Madam Bull's Family or Affairs. And Guillam Nor world, in order to conciliate Peter to his Usurpation, was glad to concede most of his demands. From this source arose those Kirk-courts, which, though their authority is now greatly abridged, are even at this day a shameful Nuisance through the whole of John Bull's Estates. And Avhile they profess to act only — pro sa lute anima — for the Salvation of the Soul — barter body and soul, their OAvn and those of all that come before them, for gain. With them, all sorts of Causes that come under their Jurisdiction, every Sacrilege and Crime, may be compounded for at a Price ; and such Courts exist for no other Object or End, but that of drawing Money by all possible pretences to them selves, and sometimes with the most enormous injus tice and oppression.* — And such is the collusion be tween them and the Steward's Office and Courts, that they are always ready to support one another's Claims and Pretensions. The ridiculous ^ut besides all this, Peter and his Emissaries had ^"p^"™,, now imposed upon the whole of the Bull Family, as ries. Emissa" part of their Education, the Sacredness and Import ance of such a Farrago of Nostrums of his OAvn inven tion as would be truly ludicrous to mention. They would collect dead men's Sculls and old rotten bones from the Sexton, or pick up Sheep's shanks from the Dunghill, and sell them to the people as bones of Saints * See Note at the bottom of a preceding page. 79 for great sums of money, as a security against all dis- Book2.ch.lt asters. They enjoined them to pay special Devotion, and pray fervently, to an Old Woman, Avho, after being twice married, and the Mother of many Children, died a Virgin a thousand years ago. And they assured them that though any one were already in Hell, ' fast shut up in fires,' they, upon being well paid for it, could immediately set them free, by only pronouncing a few words — would suddenly start — listen — and de clare the thing was done — they heard the infernal Gates opening to let them out. But above all things — it was enjoined them to believe that whatever Peter said was infallibly true, and whatever he ordered indis putably binding ; that his Word was alone sufficient to make Wrong Right, and Right Wrong ; and that all the Kings of the Earth were at his control, and all the Kingdoms of it at his disposal. Upon the whole, then, it will appear that between the Usurpation of Norworld, and the impudent Pre tensions of Peter, John Bull and his Family had been reduced to the most abject and servile condition. And though, from the Stewardship of the First Harry, John had been making some progress towards the bettering of his condition, and the recovery of his Rights and ^characfir Estate ; yet such was the propensity of the Stewards, of stewards. and such is the propensity of that sort of men to this day, to encroach and assume, — that whenever they found themselves tolerably secure, they made little or no account of the concessions they had granted, or any Engagements they had brought themselves under The double usurper, Steen, paid no regard even to his own Engagements ; and by the time of the Se* 80 Book 2. ch. 11. cond Harry the concessions and securities obtained from his Grand Father, the First Harry, seem to have been entirely forgotten ; and we find most of those ex orbitant claims of Vassalage above mentioned, again in full force, though they had been expressly aban doned. Just as, — at the British Bar, we still find the Judge from the Bench prescribing to the Jury respect ing the Fact in cases of Libel, and the Law of Libel more perverted, and more tyrannically exercised, than ever it had been, notwithstanding a late Act of the Le gislature transferring that Point expressly to the Deci sion of the Jury. Or just as — notwithstanding other Acts of the same Legislature for restraining the Influ ence of the CroAvn, and prohibiting the adding of New Places and Appointments at its disposal, such Places and Appointments are daily invented, and filled up for the express purpose of extending Corruption, and increasing the Influence, of the Crown: and will probably continue so to be, till the people, exhausted) provoked, and insulted beyond patience, have recourse to the same remedy that we shall presently find John Bull so effectually applying to his case- But to resume our subject. — The Second Harry, as above observed, in consequence of Pecket's Affair soon found himself in a situation that made him glad to re new the Concessions of his Grand Father, with some additional Privileges and Indulgences. As to Dick, he Avas a brave FelloAV of careless nonchalance, a char acter someAvhat congenial to John Bull himself, and no very Serious Difference, or Important Accommodation, took place during his SteAvardship. With Jack, his Successor, the case was very different. And as it was 81 under his SteAvardship that the most Important and Book 2. ch. n. Valid Privileges and Immunities were recovered, and the Right to them acknowledged and confirmed, we shall here give a somewhat more particular account of them : especially as those concessions are even at this day the Foundation of the most Valuable Rights of the Bull Family, and of the most firm and unalterable Customs of the Manors of Great Albion. And this Avill bring us to the Third Point we proposed to state — Avhich was, Thirdly, — What were the Rights, Privileges, and Securities, regained, and confirmed to John Bull by the Transactions in hand. This Jack being a person of strong passions, but of xheGieatRoii. a weak mind and an intemperate character, acted with all the insolence and arbitrary Spirit of the original Nonvorld Family, and supported by Peter, attempted to resume at once all that John Bull and his Family, after so many Struggles, had recovered from his Prede cessors. But John had by this time too far resumed both his native Spirit, and the Possession of his Estate, tamely to submit to such pretensions. He especially Spurned at the Position of the SteAvard being Lord of all the Lands of the Manor. And the principal Land holders being demanded to shew by what Claim or Instrument they held their Land. One of them, a genuine Son of John Bull, drawing his Aveapon, and brandishing it before the Tyrant, said — There is the Instrument by which my Ancestors acquired tlieir Lands ; and by the same, G-d willing, I will maintain them. So bold an ansAver silenced the Usurper. The Squire also execrated the rigorous Claims of tho>Sport- M 82 Book 2. ch. 11. ing Grounds, and the Shocking Punishments inflicted on the violation of them ; so contrary to the humanity of his own Character. These, with innumerable other Assumptions and Claims were constantly set up and renewed by the Stewards ; such as picking and choosing at their own price whatever they wanted, and to whomsoever it be longed,* wherever the Steward's Houshold came — that no one should dare to purchase any thing in the Mar ket, hoAvever great the necessity, till the Steward's peo ple had chosen and purchased Avhatever they had a mind to,t &c. Sec. All this so provoked John Bull, now conscious both of his Right and Strength, that he determined no longer to submit to it ; and plainly, and firmly, as- john Bull de-serted and demanded his Rights, and insisted on the mands, and , . obtains, the steward s expressly resigning all those enormous Pre- of iiis Free- tensions. And stood to this point with such cool and bythe Great steady firmness, that the Steward found himself obliged of0"sporRn" *° comply ; and expressly and formally by Deed un- Grounds. der ms hand to renounce all such Claims and Demands for the future, as the mere Usurpations of unjust Ty ranny and Arbitrary Power. And this Deed of Renunciation and Restitution was solemnly executed, engrossed, and recorded in the Courts of the Manor, Avhere it may be seen unto this day, in Iavo Celebrated Writings, called the Great Roll, and the Roll of Sporting Grounds. By the last of these the Steward renounces the exorbitant Privileges and Pretended Rights of his Sporting * Purveyance. t 'Primer Empton.—Pret. Com. 83 Grounds ; and all those rigorous and shocking and Book 2. ch 11. Punishments, mentioned above, for trespasses upon them, are expressly annulled. But this, as of inferior importance, Ave shall pass over at present. The first, The Great Roll, is even at this time held as the Principal Foundation of the whole Struc ture of Rights, Privileges, and Immunites, enjoyed by every Individual of the Bull Family, and every Inha bitant of the Manor, from the Head SteAvard to the lowest Cottager. It is also the Ground Work of the most valuable and unalterable Customs of the Manor : of which we shall mention a few. It has already been premised— that the Manor of Albion is a kind of Palatinate, or Regality, having so vereign jurisdiction within itself; which sovereignty is essentially in the Proprietor, but was formerly exer cised by the SteAvard under his control. But when the Nonvorld Race usurped the Stewardship and seized the Manor, they also assumed the Jurisdiction and Regali ty, as of their own right, and exercised it in its ut most rigour, and beyond what it had ever before been stretched to. Hence arose all those exorbitant Claims and Pretensions we have above mentioned. But this Jack, the present Steward, was now compelled to re sign all such Pretensions. Particularly all Arbitrary Fines and Distresses for Debts pretended to be due to the Steward — the Claim of Picking and Choosing at his OAvn Price whatever and wherever he pleased — the Right of Buying exclusively before all others in the Market, and all such encroachments on Common Right, were abolished. The Pretence to be Guardian to all Orphans — to occupy their Estates during non-age, and m2 84 Book2.ch. 11. to make them purchase their Restoration by an arbi trary Fine, with the Right of disposing of the Heirs in Marriage, were regulated and reduced to the Custom of the Manor and the Laws of the Land. In short, the whole Train of absurd Oppressive Pretensions stated above ; all which, however solemnly renounced by his Predecessors, this Jack had resumed, as though they had been his native and legitimate Rights, — were again restrained, or renounced for ever. TheGreatRoii. By this Great Roll also, the speedy Decision of all Suits, and Execution of all Sentences, in the Courts of the Manor, Avere secured. -And petty prag matical Clerks in the Steward' s Office, who had been accustomed to take upon them to Hear and Decide Suits and Causes, and hence to draw large Sums, as fines for imaginary Trespasses, into the Steward's Of fice and their own pockets, — were absolutely forbidden to bring before themselves, or at all to meddle in, any Suit, Cause, or Dispute among the Folk on the Manor. — All such were to be left to the Decision of Twelve Lieges of the Manor, or good and LiAvful Men of the neighbourhood where the Parties lived, and before Judges properly authorised for the purpose. But the most valuable of all the advantages ob tained by this important Deed, and its Solemn Sanc tions, was,*— that it secured to every individual of lhe Bull Family, and all Dwellers on the Manor, the un disturbed Possession, and free Enjoyment of his Life, his Liberty, and his property, except they were duly Forfeited by the Law of the Land, and the known Cus tom of the Manor, before such Judges, and Lieges of the Manor, as are mentioned above. Before this time, 85. it had been customary with the SteAvard, if any man^Book 2.ch.ll. displeased him, or refused to submit to his arbitrary Will in any case, to seize their persons, clap them up into some of his Castles, and keep them confined for years, or perhaps for Life, Avithout any remedy or re dress. But by' this Important Instrument both the Right, and the Means, were secured for every man charged with Offence to compel his being brought without delay, before a lawful Court or Magistrate ; and either immediately discharged, or lawfully con victed. And to crown all, the Right of John Bull in his Own Manor,, and that of every Individual of his Family, and every Dweller on the Estate, to his Lands, possessions, and Property of every kind, according to their Tenure, was expressly acknowledged, and firmly secured, by this Great Roll. John Bull having thus far vindicated his Ancient Rights, was once more himself again, and assumed the Port and Character of a Gentleman, Liberi Hominis, which no man better became, or more truly deserved. But it must be confessed, that during these con tests between John and his Steward, the Knave Peter, ever on the watch for advantages, gained a still firmer footing on the Manor ; and especially, by the pretended Surrender mentioned above, laid claim to the sole re gulating of the Stewardship, and all the Rights and Power exercised by the Stewards upon the Estate. — And all these pretensions he kept up during the Stew ardship of this Jack, and that of Harry his Son and Successor. 86 Book 2. ch. 12. Chap. XII. Contents The Stewardship of the Third Harry ; whom we shall call Harry the Perfidious This Stewardship consists of little besides a Series of renewed Engagements between John Bull and the Steward, and repeated violations of them on the part of the latter, encouraged by the notorious Peter, pretending to a power to absolve from all Engagements — the great patience and moderation of John Bui' under such provocation. The steward- This Harry, though but a weak man, and a worse TMrd Harry! Steward, was yet continually attempting to violate and set aside all that had been obtained from his Father and Predecessors, and secured by the solemn sanctions and binding obligations of the Great Roll mentioned above. — And though constantly frustrated by the Spirit arid This Harry a Prudence of the Bull Family ; and sometimes even sub- Taved and Jec^ *° durance f°x ms Perfidy, he could never be perfidious brought to betray the least spark of honour or honesty ; or to pay the least regard even to his own most solemn Engagements, one moment longer than till he had it in his power to break through them. And in all this he was especially encouraged and supported by the auda cious Impostor Peter, who pretends that his poAver not only extends to the disposal of every thing in this world, but also in the next ; and was ready to give a Dispensation from all the most solemn Sanctions of Oaths or Religion, to any one who would pay him well for it. But though, trusting to these, Harry could sa tisfy himself, he could not so satisfy John Bull ; Avho, provoked by his constant perfidy, would certainly have with fromthe turned him out of the Stewardship, had it not been for t^ned of'his tne hopes entertained of his Son Ned, a precocious pro- Son Ned. mjsmg J^ Wll0 eyen wm,e a fioy sliewedj if n£)t 87 more honour and honesty, at least more prudence and Book 2. ch. 12. capacity, than his father after fifty years possession of the Stewardship. However, through the whole period of his long Stewardship, Harry persisted in a constant train of renewed engagements, and repeated Violations of them, and perfidious attempts to set himself above his Master and Employer. But John Bull had by this time too far recovered his native Spirit and Cha racter, and was too firmly fixed in his seat to be dis mounted by such a hand as Harry's. And after all his This the long- fruitless Struggles, he was finally compelled, expressly disgraceful and formally to renew and confirm all that his father on "he r£ had granted. This stewardship was one of the longest, Manor? '" as well as one of the most disgraceful, on the records of the Manor. In the first respect, the present is likely to come the nearest to it ; but in the second, to be sure, nothing can be so directly the reverse. It has, indeed, 1 already been celebrated by two successive Jubulies, on its similarity account of its duration, its great prosperity, and the "arity to'the" perfect peace, contentment, and happiness of all the ardsWu?'6™ Inhabitants of the Manor under it. And so far is the Steward from meeting with any of these rude encounters, and stubborn resistances to his will, which distinguished Harry's Stewardship ; that every sup posed wish is eagerly anticipated, even the least inti mation of his will is emulously complied Avith, the mo ment it is known. And so far is he from having occa sion for the grasping rapacity of Harry and his Agents ; so flourishing and superabundant, beyond all necessary uses, is the revenue and income of the Manor ; that besides every useful Office being profusely paid, and numberless useless ones invented ; there are Persons Avho never did a Service to the Family, or a good Of- 88 Book 2. ch. 12. fice on the Manor, who have their thousands, their ten thousands, their twenty thousands and their thirty thousands a year paid to them for no other purpose but that of disencumbering the Steward's coffers, and unburdening John Bull of his superfluous wealth. Some, indeed, say, that these sums are thus profusely lavished for the mere purpose of bribing those who re ceive them, to stand by the Steward in his Abuses, and take his part on every occasion, right or wrong, against John Bull and his Family. But this, no doubt, is mere slander and detraction, — " For C — m — n is an Honourable man, and so are they all Honourable men." But the most observable feature of this Harry's The patience . ^ of John Bull Stewardship, is the patience and moderation Avith which provoking John Bull bore the extortion, the ruinous follies, the Harry'lstew- frauds* and the constantly repeated Perfidies of this ardstup. drivelling SteAvardship. This may, perhaps, be chiefly ascribed to tAvo causes, the habit of forbearance to- Avards the malversations of the Stewards, — and the hopes conceived of young Ned : Avho in effect, for Capacity and Prudence, fully answered the highest expectations that had been formed of him. Had it turned out otherwise, and a foolish and profligate Son had succeeded to a Aveak and obstinate Father, it would probably have proved the extinction of that Race of SteAvards. As it seems to be under this Stewardship that the Palaverium, or Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office received nearly its present form, and became a regular Estab lishment, it may not be improper here to give some account of that important branch of the Economy of the Albion Manor. 89 Chap. XIII. Book 2. ch.13. CoXtext?.— Of John Bull's Wife, and the Constitution and Character ot her Household Office, alias the Palaverium — with some Account of ttre Notorious Commerce of Prostitution carried on between Mrs. Bull's Domestics and Uie Clerks and Scriveners in the Steward's Office. As every body has read Sir Humphry Polesworth's His tory of John Bull's LaAvsuit, eArery body knows some thing of the Person and Character of John Bull's Wife. We have also already had frequent occasion to mention Mrs. Bull ; but as she is a person of great im portance in the Family, and one who makes a con siderable figure in these Memoirs, it may not be amiss here to introduce her to the reader's more particular acquaintance. John Bull's Wife is a Lady of the highest re spectability, and most highly respected in the Family ; Thc Rwpecta. and has indeed always been considered as the Chief J^f a„j]'pru- Supporter of John's House and Fortunes. John him- dent ]f'm"' rr „ my, ()f John self, as we have already hinted, was, especially in his Bull's wife- youthful days, a gay, dashing, heedless Fellow, and his Stewards were often designing, selfish, unprincipled Knaves ; who rather considered the Family as their Property, and all that pertained to the Manor as a Provision for them ; than that they were obliged to make any Provision for the support and maintenance of the Family. And had it not been for the prudence, discretion, and good economy of Mrs. Bull, the Fa mily must, on many occasions, have been starved, or lurned out of doors. And, in all probability, John Bull would, not, at this day, have had a House to put his Head in ; even Constitution Hall Avould have been N 90 Book 2. ch.13. pulled down, through the jealousy and envy of the SteAvards and their Agents ; and the Estate shared by them and their mercenary Clerks and Lawyers, had it not been for the circumspection and care of Mrs. Bull. This has long been the case with the neighbouring Estates and Families, of Frankland, Iberia, and South- over, and most others, once existing on Terrafirm ; the Stewards have, by degrees, seized the absolute possession of the Manors, and the Families to whom they belonged, are become merely their Vassals. And Avhat fine work these pitiful parading Knaves have made of it, all the Avorld may see from the wretch ed State they are noAv in.* That the case is yet some- ' ferabie con- thing better, both with John Bull and his Steward, is bViiTo that more OAving to the Economy and Spirit of Mrs. Bull, boure. neish"than to either the Wisdom, or Honesty, of the Stew ard's Office ; where they have long been driving hard for the same goal at which their Neighbours have so successfully arrived . As to Mrs. Bull's Parentage, she is Avell known to be descended of a truly ancient and most honourable Lineage, compared Avith which that of the most proud and pretending of the present Race of Stewards- is but of yesterday, and without Name. And her Kindred v, were in high honour and trust in the Bull Family long before the Name or Office of a Head Steward was knoAvn or heard of in it. — It is true, John Bull in early times, did not live in so much Form and State as he does at present, and Mrs. Bull had then no regular Family Establishment; but being always deservedly a great favourite with the whole of John's Kindred, she * 1812. 91 was expressly consulted upon every affair of import- Book 2. ch. 13. ance. And John has, indeed, at present, very wisely entrusted the Purse and all Cash and Accounts entirely to her care. All monies come through her hands into those of the Steward ; and all the Steward's Accounts are examined and passed in her Family Office. Nor has she, on some occasions, failed to scrutinize those Accounts pretty strictly ; and has often found them shamefully extravagant, and the SteAvard's and his Clerks' practices infamously extortionous and dishonest. Having just mentioned Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office, it may be proper here to give some Account of uonCa"d'E- the Constitution of that Office, and its important Uses Mrs°myBuirI and Ends in the Avhole Economy and Concerns of HoushoidOf- John Bull's Family and Affairs. Informer times Mrs. Bull bad no* regular Hous hold Establishment, but on occasions, the Family in general Avaited on her in a body, to consult and advise with her; such Avas the Sage-meeting and the Folk- meeting mentioned above. But when the Family be came numerous, and widely dispersed, this was found inconvenient, and tending to confusion. It was there fore settled that they should meet in certain districts, and choose in each, from among themselves, so many trusty persons to attend on Mrs. Bull, and give their advice and assistance where necessary ; and especially to check the usurpations of the SteAvard, and the pre sumption of his pragmatic meddling Clerks and Scriv eners. This was the origin of Mrs. Bull's Household Office ; Avhich, answerable to the Tavo Meetings above mentioned, consists of two Divisions, called, from the places of their meeting, the Upper and the Lower 92 Book 2, ch. 13. Chamber. The Upper Chamber ansAvering to the Sage-meeting, consists, like that, of the Seniors orLead- ing Men of the Family ; and their place in the Office is hereditary; the Lower Chamber is constituted of Delegates, chosen as mentioned above, and on account of their consulting and deliberating, by the free speech of all present, the whole is sometimes called the Pala verium, or speechifying Assembly. And so jealous were the Family of the Steward's meddling with the choosing of those Delegates, that it is a fixed Regulation, that none of his Lawyers, Bra- Aroes, or Bullies, — of which he generally finds a pre tence to keep a number in pay — shall so much as ap proach the place Avhere they are met for the purpose of choosing those Representatives of the Family. — Yet so shamefully is all this necessary caution and jea lousy now eluded, and abused, that a great proportion of the Lower Chamber of Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office, really obtain that situation by the influence of the N Steward's Clerks and Agents, and are merely their tools and instruments. But the most absurd and in credible circumstance is — that many of the SteAvard's Clerks, Under-clerks, and Office-keepers, hold seats in Mrs. Bull's Office. And many Members both of the Upper and LoAver Chamber, are highly gratified by obtaining the Places of Lackies, Footmen, and Flonkies,* in the Steward's Family. And not a Turn spit's Place, in the Steward's Kitchen, or a Groom's in his Stable, is disposed of but Avith a view to increase » Flouky-a Name applied in some parts of the Manor to a Footma» or Livery Servant. 93 this pernicious Influence of the Steward in both Cham- Book2.ch.i3. bers of Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office. Yet so far is this Farce, and Affectation of jealousy carried, that though it is known that the hope of pre sents from the Steward, or the prospect of a Place about his Office or Houshold, are the sole objects of the eagerness with Avhich a Seat in Mrs. Bull's House hold Office is sought after, it is still the practice, that whoever receives an Appointment from the Steward, or obtains a Place under him, must resign his Seat in Mrs. Bull's Office ; but then, he may, the very next day, be chosen to the same, or another place in it, by the same influence of the Steward and his Clerks. Formerly, Mrs, Bull, by the Right of Keeping the Purse, and of passing the Accounts, could restrain „, „ ., ' r ° ' The Family the profusion of the Steward, and regulate the Ex- Economy en- pences of the Family according to its income and abil- Mrs. Bull. ity. And even after the Stewards had assumed that exorbitant Power, which was exercised under Guillam Norworld and his immediate successors, she was some times able to check, and to wrest from them, some of those presumptuous Claims, and enormous Pretensions which they had set up for themselves. Alas ! how dif ferent the case now — when, besides the ruinous amount of ordinary expences, the most extravagant Accounts pass without scrutiny, and the most shameful Demands, under the name of a Message from the Steward, de livered by one of his Clerks or his Major-domo, at Mrs. Bull's Office, are immediately complied with in their full extent ; accompanied with the highest profusion of Compliments for the great honour done them by the Steward, in condescending to communicate his desires 94 Book 2. ch.13. and demands to them. And to satisfy these demands without stint, money must be found though John Bull's Family should go supperless to bed. And all this shameful scene of Folly, Absurdity, and Ruinous Extravagance, springs from a still more An infamous shameful and infamous source, — a Notorious Cora- Aduitery & merce of Prostitution and Adultery, carried on between ^,eQUti°onn the Clerks and Agents about the Steward's Office, and swward'sA-tlie Domestics in Mrs. Bull's Household. In conse- sents & Mrs. quence 0f these profligate intrigues the Good Lady is, mestics. m factj no longer Mistress of her own House, nor John Bull master of his own Estate, or Disposer of his own Money — of Avhich, immense sums voted in Mrs. Bull's Office, through the influence of these Intrigues, are knoAvn to be spent in the most shameful Prostitution, and in debauching the Family. Nor is this merce nary commerce confined to Chambermaids, Semp stresses, and Waiting Gentlemen ; but mothers, daujrh- Commerce of ' " ' ° Prostitution ters, sisters, of the best branches of John Bull's Family between the . J Sieward'sOf- are notoriously engaged in it. Indeed, Avith a direct jijip rtnn jVTi*^ Buii'sDomes- view to this gain of Prostitution, a place in Mrs. Bull's Houshold, for Avhich wages were wont to be received, is noAV become an object of ambition in the first Families on the Manor, without any other wages or reward, but the prospect of sharing in these wages of Iniquity. And Clymene herself could not be more jealously proud of being known for the Pellex of Apollo, than some pretending to great honour in John Bull's Fa mily, are of standing in the same relation to the SteAvard and his Clerks. And it must be confessed that no House in the whole county is more infamously reported of in ibis respect, than Mrs. Bull's own House. 95 There are, Avho do not hesitate to say, that the Book 2 ch. 13! Steward has an intrigue with Mrs. Bull herself, — nay, that she lives in a Commerce of habitual adultery with him; and that the Steward's Head Clerk or Major- domo is the Pimp or Go-between in this business, and that the highest recommendation to his place, is, his being well qualified for this part of his Office. As for the Part the Steward and his Major-domo may have in these Intrigues, he would be a bold man who would undertake to clear either ; but nothing can be more false, scandalous, and unjust, than such a report, as far as Mrs. Bull herself is concerned. That such doings betAveen the Steward's Clerks and her Domes tics are carried on under her roof, is too true; that of late scarce a Housekeeper, Waiting GentleAvoman, or Chambermaid, nor even a Scullion in the Kitchen, has escaped being debauched, is a Fact too notorious to be denied. And lately when one of those Clerks at tempted to introduce a domestic into Mrs. Bull's fami- m f± x ., ., . , . Commerce qf ly, on the express terms ot Prostitutes ; the thing having prostitution, come to Mrs. Bull's knowledge, she took him roundly ' to task. — But the shameless knave laughed in the good lady's face, and told her that if she pretended to take notice of such things as these, she Avould find work enough ; for the practice was as glaring as the Sun at noon. An answer, which, whether most distinguished for insolence, or for impudence, it may be difficult to determine. It is indeed perfectly known, that more than half the domestics in Mrs. Bull's Family, are directly, or indirectly, introduced into their stations on this meri- tricious footing, and are in the constant pay of, and 96 Book 2. ch. is. dependence on, the Steward and his Clerks, for the express purpose of ready and habitual Prostitution. — And what is still worse, not only is the most shameful debasement, debauchery, and profligacy, thus intro duced into both Families; but all this is done at John Bull's own expence ; and Mrs. Bull is obliged to find the money to purchase the Prostitution of her own Family. Of all this the Good Lady is but too sensible ; but alas! she can neither correct, nor restrain it: so strong a Party has the Steward by the very means, and for the express end, of the above Prostitution, ob- Mrs. Bull in tained in her Family. Much has Mrs. Bull remon- to"rrstraJn strated upon these doings, many regulations have been Commerce! 'introduced to restrain them, and many more have been proposed and attempted ; but all have been constantly frustrated by the influence of the Steward and his Clerks, with that of their Paramours under Mrs. Bull's own roof. So tired out has Mrs. Bull sometimes been Avith vain and fruitless efforts to oppose and correct those flagrant abuses, that in absolute despair she has shut herself up in her chamber for weeks and months to gether, refused to shew her face in her own house; and let them go on just as they pleased — till alarmed, lest in their boundless profligacy and licencious riots they should pull down the Mansion of Constitution Hall upon their own heads, or provoke the Family through indignation to set it on fire about their ears, — she has again made her appearance. Indeed, one great object of Mrs. Bull's attention has always been to preserve the Mansion House ; and in spite of tho 97 reason ; all is carried on at their Expence. jealousy and opposition of the Steward's office to repair-Book 2. ch. 13. its dilapidations and breaches, and to keep up the cus tom of assembling and consulting in it on all the Fa mily affairs. The Family out of doors have sometimes T ,..,., , , ,, t, in , • , ln which the taken Mrs. Bull s part in these matters, and attempted Family take , . , , . ... _ her part. And to do her and themselves justice. But as they are apt witn g°°d to be rash in their proceedings, this is a remedy perhaps too dangerous for ordinary occasions ; and the Steward with his Lawyers, always find a pretence to interfere, and to frustrate their designs, however well intended. The Bull Family in general have indeed the best and most indisputable Right to interpose in this affair of the Intrigues carried on in Mrs. Bull's House, and the corruption and debauchery of her Servants; for as the whole Expences of the Steward's Office, and all disburse ments on the Manor are defrayed out of their pockets ; and even the money so profusely lavished on those in famous intrigues, raised by a general contribution of the Family ; and as this contribution is first settled and ap portioned in Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office, where all her Domestics have access and influence, — it is clear hoAV much the whole Family are concerned in their charac ter and conduct. Even the wages of those domestics used to be paid immediately by the Family ; but now, since this Commerce of Prostitution and Intrigue Avith the Steward's Office took place, such is the confidence of gain from this Source, that no other wages are ex pected or desired ; and yet a place in Mrs. Bull's House is more eagerly sought after, and contended for, than ever. From what we have noticed above, it will be seen that such doings have not escaped the censure and re- o 98 Book 2. ch.13. probation both of Mrs. Bull, and the honest and faith ful part of her Houshold, as also of the Family out of m . , doors. Yet such is the insolence of those rascally The insolence " of the stew- Clerks and their meiny, that they have dared to seize ard's Clerks in opposing upon, threaten to horsewhip, toss in a blanket, or drag endeavours through the kennel, some of the most respectable and iioushoid. °rmost faithful of John Bull's Family, merely for having spoken too plainly, and too truly of them, their para mours, and their infamous practices. And yet it is the undoubted right of every Son of the Bull Family, of every one Avho enjoys the Privilege of Constitution Hall, freely to examine, and Censure, every part of the con duct both of the Steward's Clerks, and of Mrs. Bull's Houshold. And that upon principles of the soundest reason; as it is only examining the conduct of those to Avhom they have trusted their most important inter ests ; and whose profusion and profligacy must be sup ported at their expence. As to the SteAvard himself,— with a degree of absurdity rather exceeding Lord Pe ter's impeccability, it is pretended, that he is exempted from error, and cannot do wrong. It will readily be acknowledged, that a Place in Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office honestly obtained, and A Mr?10 Ball" faithfully discharged, is a station of great respectability, ficTan wand consideraI?Ie importance. As the persons holding tinction And i4 must be SCIUlme descendants of the family, or natu- stni some true ralized into it; are intrusted with its chief interests, and faithful , . » Servants a- and by their station have much influence, and a poten- mong tiem. tjal voicCj m all the concerns 0f tne j?amiiy an(j Manor. —And happily there are yet a few faithful and honest Servants in the House; who still stand by the Good Lady, and do not fail to assert her Rights and Autho- 99 rity in her own House ; nor cease to exclaim and pro- Book 2.ch. 13. test against the notorious Prostitution carried on be tween it and the Steward's Office, though they are not able to put a stop to it. And if there be still any hope for John Bull, it must rest with those few, and the Fa mily abroad. These united, may yet by the influence of Mrs. Bull, as Pursekeeper, be the means of preserving the Family and Estate, and even the Steward himself and all his House, from Ruin, — from that Destruction, Avhich, without some effectual remedy, Avithout some reformation in the Manners of Mrs. Bull's Houshold, is fast rushing upon them all. Chap. XIV. Contents The Absurd Notion of John Bull belonging to the Steward, and not the Steward to John Bull, examined, and exposed— with some Strictures on the Incorrigible Obstinacy with which this Ab surdity is at present persisted in. The most extraordinary circumstance in the whole of TheNotion that this Scene of Profligacy and Ruin, is, — That, though longs to the the Steward be of all parties the most concerned to find notthe s'tew- a remedy, and bring about such a Reformation as may Bull— persis" preserve the Estate, yet the opposition and resistance ge Dut — °f tne Belly -ache, he died harmlessly on oe1iUon.Ex"the road, before he had set a foot on Sandy's Manor — And Hi motus animorum, et haec certamina tanta, Pulverisexiqui jactu compressa quiescunt. For here the whole Expedition ended for the pre sent. This Sudden Call Avas doubtless a great disap pointment to Ned. Ned had been assured by Prog- nosticators that he should not die but atSacrasalem, the capital of Sacraterr. Ned had always intended to join those fantastic Expeditions to that Country, but proba bly thinking, that so long as he deferred it, he was sure to set Death at defiance ; he was in no haste to perform his purpose. In his extreme illness he happened to ask the Name of the Place where he Avas confined, — and being ansAvered that it was called Sacrasalem, — he felt his fate immediately. And soon after expired. 113 Chap. II. BookS. ch.2. Contents.— The Stewardship of the Second Ned— Renews his Father's Pretensions to the Caledonian Manor— where, in an Attempt at Forcible Entry, he meets with a most disastrous Repulse, in which almost his whole Train of Lawyers, Bailiffs, Bullies, and Banditti have their Brains beat out, and he himself hardly escapes with life and limb. — This puts an end to all further Attempts and Pretensions on the Caledonian Manor. This Ned Avas succeeded by his Son, a Second Ned, but in vigour of character at least, far inferior to his The Second Father. However, having received his father's last e ' injunctions never to abandon the Design on the Cale donian Manor, after some delay, he set out once more in great parade, Avith all the preparation his Father had provided, followed by the Avhole Meingy of John Bull's Manor ; avIio all reckoned upon being enriched by the Possession and Plunder of Sandy's Estate. Since the death of Ned, Actions at LaAV had been tried upon several separate points, which, under the conduct of Bruss, had uniformly terminated in favour of Sandy. At last it was determined on both sides to bring the Cause to a General Issue by one Great Trial at Bar. And a more decisive Issue never was obtained. For though in the number of Attorneys, Solicitors, and Renews his fa- Lawyers of all sorts, Bob could by no means compare upon the c.i- with Ned ; yet he had draAvn up his Brief so clearly nor!""'"' and concisely, — and his Counsel stated their arguments Avith so much perspicuity and force, that they Avere al together irresistible ; and nothing, as Ave have said, could be more decisive than the Issue. And the Cause having been tried upon Sandy's Manor, Avhere the Fa mily were dreadfully exasperated by the long and cruel oppression and insults they had suffered from his Pie- Q 114 Book 3. ch. 2. decessor, Ned was obliged, on the breaking up of the court, to sneak off, and run for it, like a detected Pick- is cast, and all pocket ; and with difficulty reached his own Manor. Capiaserf, in — Which Avas, indeed, more than most of his Lawyers Trial at Bar. and Train ever did ; great numbers of them being seized and abused by the enraged Tenants on the Ca- ledon Manor, whom, under the patronage of Ned, they had so often insulted and plundered ; so that those who could escape with the loss of their Black GoAvns, TyeWigs, and Green Bags, thought themselves highly fortunate. Though this decisive Verdict settled the General Issue, and put a final end to Ned's Pretensions on San dy's Manor, yet were not the two Neighbours perfectly reconciled for some time : during which, Sandy's Fa mily, under the conduct of Bob, did not fail to make Which puts an "" end to ail ample reprisals upon John Bull s Manor, for the Avaste Caledonian and damage their own had sustained from the preten sions and attempts of the first Ned. At last all claims on both sides were settled, all quarrels closed, and all pretensions to the Caledonian Manor, on the part of the Albion Steward, expressly renounced ; thus Avere peace and unity finally restored between the two Families and Manors. But as our business is with the SteAvardship of John Bull's Manor, and more particularly as it respects himself, we have perhaps here digressed a little too far, and shall noAv resume our subject. This Second Ned proved in the Avhole a weak, foolish, and very unfortunate Steward, and Avas at last murdered in a most shocking manner, by the machina tions of his OAvn Avife and her p'aramour. 115 Chap. HI. Book 3, ch.S. Contents.— The Stewardship of the Third Ned This Ned a very brave Fellow — Sets up a claim to the Stewardship of the Frankland Manor — in which wonderfully successful in several great trials at Bar — yet at last fain to resign all his acquisitions and pretensions— falls into a kind of love-dotage, and extravagant Expense in his Old Age— which John Bull insists on restraining — and by the faithful support of Mrs. Bull's Office, does it effectually; A Third Ned, the Son and Successor of the former, was a person of a very different character from his im- e mediate predecessor ; but as nothing very material to the state of the Manor, or the degree of Possession be tAveen him and the Bull Family, happened during his Stewardship, we shall pass it over concisely. The principal matters touching upon our subject in these SteAvardships, and indeed in every successive Stewardship after obtaining the Great Roll of Privi leges, are, the constant jealousy and the unceasing in sidious attempts of the Steward, to elude, invalidate, or annul, that important Instrument ; beside their fre quent direct violations of it. The first Ned had se cretly and treacherously obtained from Peter, — Avho, as Ave have said, pretended to a power to dissolve the most solemn obligations, — a full dispensation from his oath and engagement to maintain those privileges. — But Mrs. Bull's Office kept a sharp eye upon him ; and his design on the Caledonian Manor requiring the consent, aid, and assistance of the Bull Family, he found him self obliged to stop short in his intended course of violating their privileges. The second Ned had taken up the same course ; especially in lavishing the Money of the Family upon a set of base and unAvorthy favour ites; but the Aveakness of his character rendered his Q.2 116 Book 3. ch. 3. designs not very formidable. And the Family took care to see his favourites duly rewarded. The pre sent Ned was so brave a Fellow, and so much at one with the Family, that in the early and active part of his life, no occasion of misunderstanding occurred between them. And so far Avas he from Avishing to violate the Great Roll of Privileges, that he solemnly and voluntarily renewed, and confirmed it. And seemed to have the Rights, Privileges, and Prosperity of the Family no less at heart than his own. The most interesting Transaction of this SteAvard ship at the time it took place, was, a long and violent Quarrel between the Frankland and Albion Stewards, Sets up preten sions to the arising from a Claim set up by Ned to the Frankland Frankland ,,..., Stewardship Stewardship, in right ot his Mother, who was a daugh- most such at- ter of the Frankland Steward. In this Quarrel the ininate'in no- Folk in general on both Manors joined ; and several great ex- important trials at Bar took place, the issues of which pence and were so mUch m favour 0f Ned, that he had the Loss on both ' Sides. Frankland Steward arrested , and for some time kept him in prison. But as all this, — like most other Quar rels and Lawsuits arising from the selfishness and intrigues of Stewards, — ended in nothing of any per manent interest to the Bull Family or Manor, we shall not enter more particularly into it. Indeed, notAvith- standing all the decisive Verdicts in favour of Ned, by a final compromise, almost all the Farms and Posses sions held or claimed by the Albion SteAvards, since Billy Norworld's time, on the Frankland Manor, were expressly resigned. But in his old age, Ned fell into a kind of Love- dotage, and kept a fine Miss, an extravagant Jade, 117 who in gaudes and gaiety wasted every thing he had. Book 3. ch. 3. When he now applied to John Bull and the Palaverium for money — How contrary to the present practice — in- Nate"jJ5j| °{)j stead of compliance, he met Avith nothing but re- ?n exPensive r ' => Love Dotage; proaches for the profusion and folly Avith Avhich he la- and issoundiy * r J checked by vished their money. Indeed the disputes betAveen John JonH B«'k and his Steward arose principally from the article of Expences, in Avhich all Stewards are prone to be la vish. But John Bull had now resumed his proper cha racter, knew himself to be Master of his own House and Manor, and was determined to maintain his right to regulate the Economy and Expences of his own Estate and Family.; and that if his Steward chose to play the fool, and to keeP hne Misses, he must do it at his own Expense. And the Family and Tenants in general, out of whose pockets the money came, and without whose consent it could not be raised, took care-to stand by and support the Squire on these occasions. For those shameful Intrigues, that infamous Commerce of Prostitution and Adultery between the Steward's Office and Mrs- Bull's Houshold, by which John Bull and all that he has are now entirely at the Steward's disposal, were then unknoAvn. 118 Book 3. cb. 4. Chap. IV. Contents.— The Stewardship of the Second Dick, who may be called Dick the incorrigible. — Dick succeeds very young to the Stewardship —Gives himself up to worthless Favourites— to whom he trusts even the Business of the Stewardship — Obstinately incorrigible — His cousin Henry Longcampster— Supported by the Bull Family, undertakes to reform the Stewardship — Dick is deposed — imprisoned — murdered by the order or connivance of Harry — who hence assumes the Steward ship. To this Ned succeeded Dick his grandson by Ned his Dick tneincor. eldest son, called the Sable Boy, a brave, promising rigibie. youth, as ever the Bull Family bred; but, alas ! noAV dead. — This Dick his son was a wilful, foolish, ill-ma naged Lad, Avho minded nothing but his play and his pleasure. And he kept about him a set of Fellows as wilful, and more Avicked than himself; and to these he intrusted even the business of the Steward's Office, and the Economy of the Family and Manor. Excited and encouraged by such confidents, he squandered away the whole rents and produce of the Estate in mere boy ish Extravagance and Folly, considered the Manor as entirely his own Property, and affected to hold John Bull and his Family in the utmost contempt. And Avhen the Squire remonstrated on the subject, and in sisted on the dismission of some of his worthless and profligate Companions and Agents, to Avhom he en trusted the chief management of the Estate, — he an swered — That he would not, for his pleasure, dismiss the meanest Servant in his Kitchen. But he Avas soon made sensible of his mistake ; and had good reason to repent of his folly and insolence. Yet in some in stances, Dick gave proofs that he Avas not entirely void of the vigour of the Broomstick Race, from Avhence he 119 was sprung, and Avanted neither resolution nor capaci- Book 3. ch. 4. ty, had he fallen into good hands. On one such occa sion, the Lower Sort of the Folk on the Manor having verted, not risen about his ears, demanding redress of their Avrongs, ther in cou- and the surrender of his profligate Agents and Associ- parity!' ates, whom they were ready to duck in the horsepond, or drag through the kennel; or even to tear them in pieces. The Leader of this importunate Rabble ad vanced, and personally threatened Dick to his very face ; when a brave fellow who stood by him, the Town Major of Ludd's-town, stepping fonvard, knocked his brains out at a blow. The fate of their Leader struck the Rabble with surprise, astonishment, and rage, and they seemed ready for the most desperate proceeding ; but Avanted a Head to conduct them — when Dick, Avith surprising presence of mind, seeming not to approve of what had just been done, stepped forward and said, " You have lost your leader — follow me my friends, I will lead you." — While they, by a kind of blind im pulse, followed him, he led them out of the Town, where they might have done infinite mischief, into the Fields, — in the mean time, the Town Major having assembled his Posse, came upon them, and dispersed them with a vengeance. As John Bull, however sen sible of Dick's misconduct and insolence, did not ap prove of such rash and tumultuous proceeding, he took care to assist him in restraining and suppressing such irregular and disorderly doings in his Family. But Dick, perverted, and egged on by his Associates, was entirely incorrigible, and proceeded to set both pru dence, and justice at defiance, till it cost him both his Office and his Life. Instances — 120 Book 3. ch. 4. At no period does John Bull seem better to have known, or more firmly to have asserted and maintained . , his own Rights in opposition to tlie claims and en- At this period ° ri John Bull croachments of his Stewards, than at present. About In in I v asserts his Rights, this time, Dick, through the instigation of some of Lord andthrPrin- . , , , cipies of the Peter s People, had by his OAvn authority, with the ad vice of his Associates, given Orders to restrain some Im provements that Avere making in the mode of Education, Catechising, and Creed-craft, in Madam Bull's Fami ly ; but on the meeting of the Palaverium, they sent expressly to desire that those Orders should be recalled, because they Avere made Avithout their advice and con sent. On another occasion Dick sent a Writing con taining a lavish grant of Lands upon the Manor, in favour of one of his worthless associates, to Ii is chief Clerk or Secretary, who kept the Seal of the Manor, Avith Orders to Seal and Execute the Writing; the Secretary, on reading it, perceiving its unreasonable ness, and enormous extent, refused to put the Seal to it ; because, as he said, he held the Seal in trust, not from him alone, but jointly from the SteAvard and Pa laverium, in behalf of the Family. And Avhen Dick ?ent in a passion to order him to deliver up the Seal, he refused, till he came in person and demanded it ; he then delivered it, and refused to act any more under him. These instances sheAV Avhat are the fundamental Principles and practices of the Albion Manor, and of Stewardship. Dick Avanted money to supply his pleasures, and had assembled Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office, and ordered them to provide for his Avants ; they replied, by desir ing him to dismiss his Cash-keeper and his Chief Clerk, 121 Avhom he had substituted in the place of him who re- Book 3. ch. 4. fused to obey his order, and to call them to account, and seize the money they had dishonestly diverted to their own use, and he Avould find abundance to supply his wants. It Avas on this occasion that he made the in solent answer mentioned above — implying that the Pa laverium ought to mind the business he had assembled them for, to find money to supply his wants, and that he would not for their pleasure dismiss a Scullion in his Kitchen. Upon this he left them in a great huff, and next Dick puts him- L a j selfinagreat day sent them an imperious Order to provide him im- passion- mediately the supply he wanted. With which Order they were so far from complying, that they sent him word that if he did not return and join them, according to the custom at that time, and give up his Cashier and Clerks to be brought to account, and punished, they would grant no supply, nor pay any regard to his Or ders Avhatever. This put him in a perfect rage ; and he commanded certain of their number to come before him, and account for tlieir conduct, and submit to con dign punishment. Instead of complying with this man date, they sent two of their most respectable Members to tell him plainly, — that if he did not conduct him self better, and act more according to his station, they Avould proceed to choose and appoint another SteAvard But is obiuoi * to comply, in his place. The boldness of this Message struck him and give up iii- his Instru- with instant alarm ; his havountes and Advisers, in the ments. The utmost apprehension both for themselves and him, now whose Abu- advised him to join the Palaverium, Avhich he did ; ce0sv"ed" aT- and his Cash-keeper and Clerks were brought to ac- D""khimseTfn 122 Book 3, ch. 4. count, and were found guilty of the most enormous frauds and abuses ; and besides what they had squan dered away, had amassed Avealth enough to have im poverished the whole Manor. When the whole of tlieir rapacity and extortion was brought to light, even Dick himself expressed his surprise at the extent and amount of it. The -perfidious Dick now pretended to accommodate himself en- Dick, tirely to the Palaverium and the Avill of the Family ; and invited them to send a deputation of their leading men to lay their grievances specifically before him, which should all be redressed. But all this Avas mere dissimulation and treachery ; for he had set a party of ruffians to ivay-lay their deputies and knock their brains out before they could reach him ; and had beside sent some of his Favourites and prime Agents to collect all rtlie Banditti and Bullies they could raise on the Manor, .and to come and fall on the Palaverium itself, and so make him entire master of the Manor and Family. But the Deputation which was sent to him was aAvare of his design, and took care not to be surprised ; and his Agents and their Banditti were encountered on the Avay by a party much superior to themselves ; and soon en tirely dispersed. Indeed their leaders were much fitter for the revels of Luxury, and the gambols of a Lady's Chamber, than to encounter the brave sons of the Bull Family, in a quarrel, noAV come to blows. After this detection of his treachery, Dissimulation could stand Dick in little stead, and being perfectly incorrigi ble, and bent upon ruin, he proceeded to direct usurp ation and violence. And here wc find the first tamper- 123 ing with Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office, which has since Book 3. ch. 4. become so approved and successful a practice in the hand of treacherous and ill-designing SteAvards. When Billy Norworld seized into his own hands the whole Property and Privileges of the Bull Family, among others he assumed the Nomination and Appoint ment to all Offices and Magistracies, which originally belonged to the Family ; and particularly that of Greeve, or First Magistrate of the Share, Shire, or Di vision. Of this usurped privilege, Dick availed him self to appoint in every Division one of his own tools entirely devoted to his will. And as this Officer has the chief influence in conducting the choice of Mrs. Bull's Houshold, Dick sent to each Share-greeve a list of those he would have chosen. And if any Avere cho sen contrary to this List, he ordered them to cause ano ther choice to be made. Having thus got a Palaverium wholely named by himself, and entirely at his disposal, he thought he might now proceed according to his pleasure.- But to make all more secure, he got a vote passed in the Palaverium, and subscribed by all the Magistrates and Authorities on the Manor, — Declaring — That the SteAvard was above all LaAvs, and all the Customs of the Manor, and might set them all aside at his pleasure. It is true, one of the most conscientious of the Magistrates, when he had signed this writing, said —Now want I nothing but a Halter, to bring me to that Death I so well deserve, for signing such a false and pernicious Declaration. Fortunately for themselves, at the present time, the Agents of the Stewardship, though they possess a Palaverium as much at their disposal as these their pre- »2 124 Books. ch. 4. decessors; and do much more effectually dispose of it, — have> if not more honesty, at least more wit, than to make any such declaration of their principles and power as the above. But Dick thought himself now quite secure, and be gan to act without any restraint, or the least regard to Law or Justice. He had, indeed, an Uncle called the Good Man of Gloster, Avho could not help frequently admo nishing him both of his Errors, and of his Dangers. This only real friend he had left, he got into his pow- cie.the Good er, and had him conveyed to an old castle, where he Gi'oster, and ordered him to be strangled in his bed-chamber. In murdered. "the same manner, he rid himself of several other of the leading men of the family, whom he kneAV to be hostile to his measures : particularly the Elderman of A run- vale, at whose murder he Avould himself be present. — Such deeds would render any other character the hor ror and detestation of mankind, and the Avhole Race would pursue them with vengeance ; in the Stewardical Character, they are but ordinary occurrences ; and they excited in Dick neither remorse nor apprehension. But unfortunately for Dick, the Bull Family had not then acquired all that patient resignation, and pas sive acquiescence which they now display, so much to the Steward's Accommodation. For John Bull was all this time fretting and fuming with indignation, to be thus used by his own Steward. And the whole family provoked by the extortion and rapacity of himself and his insatiable Agents, Avanted but some one to head them, and lead them on, to rise in irresistible rage about their ears. — And this want Avas soon supplied by one exactly to their purpose. 125 ed beyond patience, un der the influ*- ence of Har ry Boling- bum, depose Dick, and substitute Harry in his stead. As the great Estates and wealth of his Uncle of Book 3. ch. 4, Glostc, and others whom he had put to death, could not satisfy the boundless demands of Dick's profusion miiyprovok- and Pleasures ; his cousin Harry Bolingburn, being on some occasion at a distance from the Manor, Avhen his Father, Laird of Longcampster, died, Dick, Avith en tire disregard to kindred, justice, or honesty, seized upon all his vast Estates, and forbade his Son and Heir ever to return, or appear upon the Manor of Al bion to claim them. Harry Avas not a man to put up quietly with such treatment ; and being a gay, plausi ble, brave fellow, and a great Favourite Avith the Bull Family in general ; depending on this partiality, he ventured in defiance of the Steward's prohibition to ap pear on the Manor. And by exclaiming with great plausibility against the injustice that had been done him, in seizing on his inheritance in his absence, and against the Perfidy and Rapacity of Dick in general, he en gaged a strong party of the family in his favour ; Avho being further irritated by their OAvn oppressions and in sults, were ready to go all lengths in doing him and themselves justice. And Harry in return promised to stand by them in procuring redress of the family griev ances, and in restraining Dick's insolence and oppres sions : at the same tune, protesting against any design on the SteAvardship, or any thing beyond correcting its abuses. Having thus gained entire credit Avith the Family, Harry soon found every thing at his nod ; and Dick, as he certainly deserved, and might expect, found himself deserted by all. His base and incapable Agents were soon seized upon, and sacrificed to the just resentment 126 Book 3. ch. 4. of the Family; being hanged indeed with little for mality of trial. The wretched Dick now found him self entirely at the mercy of those he had so grossly Dick deposed injured and insulted; and reckoning perhaps something Stewardship011 tue influence of kindred and blood, chose to put himself in the hands of his cousin ; only intreating him to spare his life, which was promised. It was agreed that they should adjourn to Luds- town, the Capital Mansion of the Manor, and there settle all matters. And here it was that Dick first dis covered his true situation, and how much he had been deceived by his pretended Friends and Favourites. These had made him believe, that though a feAv disap pointed Leaders and candidates for Places and Power were discontented, John Bull and the whole Family were perfectly pleased and satisfied with his conduct. Just as a certain traitorous Journal* lately told an older, and hence we hope a wiser — certainly a better warned, — Incumbent on the Stewardship, — that though a few meddling malecontents about Luds-town cen sured his conduct: yet nothing could be more popu lar, more approved, and admired, by all the rest of the Bull Family than his Conduct and Character. — Which, besides its falsehood in both cases, amounts to no less than an infamous libel upon the whole Bull family ; as making them all dupes, fools, or knaves, except a feAv individuals about Luds-town. But poor Dick now found too late, how wretchedly he had been imposed upon, and deceived. As they approached Luds-town, the people poured out in crowds to wel come Harry with peals of acclamation and applause — * The Courier, June, 1812.— Pret. Com. 127 while they not only loaded the Arretched Dick with Book 3. ch. 4. torrents of curses, execrations, and insults ; but actually threw stones and bricks and filth from the Houses and windows upon his head as he passed along the street. Dick could not but feel this as a prelude to his funeral knell, and from henceforth gave himself up for lost, and voluntarily resigned all pretensions to the Stewardship ; of which he, truly, professed himself unAvortby. Harry began now to indulge more aspiring views, Hh"yepretf" and to assume more ambitious aims, than he had at 5Ua^esandthe first professed. Mrs. Bull's Houshold was immedi- Ailthoritaof ately assembled, and besides Dick's voluntary resigna- steward. tion, and confession of unworthiness, the Palaverium, as the supreme organ of the Family's Will, formally deposed him from the Stewardship, as incapable and unworthy to hold it, All this was, no doubt, done without the least interference, or impulse from Harry ; but as he had been so happily, and so actively, instru mental in rescuing them from such gross oppression and insult, it was proposed to offer him the SteAvard ship. Not but that there Avas beside Dick a nearer Heir ; but Harry's great merits and popularity Avith the Family overbalanced this consideration ; and the Decision of the Palaverium expressing the full consent of the Family — no doubt the best ground for such dis posal — the SteAvardship was fully conferred upon Harry. Thus by the arts of his cousin, and the just indig nation of the Bull Family, Dick was deservedly de posed from the SteAvardship. And though Harry af fected at first to hold, and exercise, the Office only for 128 Book 3. ch. 4. redress of wrongs, and correction of abuses, he soon openly and avowedly assumed both the Name, and full Power of the Stewardship. In the mean time, poor Dick Avas confined to an old Mansion at a place called Brokenbridge ;* where soon after, — if not by the order, certainly by the con- of Dick. nivance of bis Cousin, — some Ruffians broke in upon him, and most cruelly murdered him. As in some passages of his Life, so especially in the circumstances of his Death, this unfortunate man gave proof that he was not naturally deficient in vigour either of body or mind. When his Assassins broke in upon him to the number of nine ; perceiving their intent, he sprung upon the foremost, seized and av rested from him a pole- axe, with which he killed four of the number before they could master him ; but at last one of them having stunned him by a Woav on the head, as he fell they all rushed upon, and dispatched him. » Pontefract. Pret. Com. BOOK IV- Chap. I. Contents. — The Stewardship of Harry of Longcampster ; or Harry the fourth of that Name. — Harry a person of vigour and capacity — estab lishes himself and family firmly in the Stewardship. — Not content to hold the office upon the only true and legitimate Title, the appoint ment of his Employer, pretends to patch up a Title upon the footing of Hereditary^ Right. — Which Title being palpably defective upon this very principle that he was so fond of having recourse to, his family were after three generations ejected from the Stewardship. Harry was now in full possession of the Steward ship by the best of all titles, the consent and appoint- , /- , „r * n -, -r, .-. Stewardshipof ment of the Lord of the Manor, and of the h amily to Harry of Avhom the Manor belonged ; but he was not altogether ster.g°a satisfied to hold it by this title, as implying an ultimate Right in the Family to dispose of the SteAvardship ; which however just and true, no Steward is Avilling to acknoAvledge. He therefore endeavoured to patch up some hereditary pretensions. — But this Avas too pal pable a piece of patch-Avork to deserve examination ; there being notoriously a descendant of an Older branch 130 Book 4. ch.2. of the Family of the last Ned their Grandfather still alive. Harry's only title was Possession, and the Con sent of the Landlord and Family ; and these were no Endeavours to doubt sufficient, had he come honestly and fairly by !ntiehof *He* them, and been content to rest his title upon them. — rmIuo the Harryj however, was in Possession, and being a per- stewardship;son 0f vjg0Ur and capacity established himself and his ration of Family so firmly in the Office that their Possession and which Here- ¦* ditary Right Right seemed fixed, and indisputable. And might his i^nniilv are in the have continued so, had that true Principle, of holding ly expelled it by the consent and gift of the Family, of which he was so jealous and suspicious, been duly adhered to. And they lost it by the operation of that very Principle Avhich he took so much pains to patch up and establish, Hereditary Right. Chap. II. Contents.— The Stewardship of the fifth Harry. — This Harry a !.m\c free-hearted Fellow— hence a great favourite with the Bull Family — (Joes to Law with Lewis Baboon for the Stewardship of'the Frank- land Manor — after a great and decisive Trial at Bar actually obtains , it.— Marries Lewis's Daughter Kate and is fully settled in the Stew ardship — dies soon after and leaves a Sou not ten months old. The Longcampster Family, however, held the Office TshiPofHarry to the third Generation. The second of the Family °f u(hM""s" ilI1(l Name, called Harry of Mongmouth, Avas a brave free open hearted felloAV ; and from congeniality of 131 Character deservedly a great favorite with John Bull Book 4. ch.2. and his Family. This Harry chose to reneAV the Claim set up by the third Ned, his Great Grandfather, to the Stewardship of the Frankland Manor. In di rect lineal Succession their Title was perhaps good, but was excluded by an antient and invariable kiw or Cus tom of the Frankland Manor, viz. That no female could succeed, or transmit Succession. This claim had lain dormant since the time of Ned the Great Grandfather ; but the present Harry being a bold ac tive aspiring character ; and both his enterprising dis position, and the situation of his affairs, inviting him to revive it, he determined, in spite of this antient Cus tom to assert his Claim. In pursuance of this design claims the he commenced a Lawsuit against Carlos the present 0f the FranK occupier of the Stewardship ; and after several less im- !;n"d ^ftatns portant Issues, Carlos was at last cast in one great and s}Ve5T!riflf at decisive action called the Action of Agintower from the Bar at Agin- _° tower — place where it was tried, in the neighbourhood of an old Castle of that name. Inconsequence of the Ver dict obtained in this Action, it was settled that Harry should marry Carlos's Daughter Kate, and succeed him in the Stewardship, to the exclusion of his Son Carlos, already grown up, and all other lineal Heirs. No doubt both Harry and John Bull, who had sup ported him in his Claim, derived great reputation and eclat from this transaction ; yet Avas it, in its conse quences, one of the most disasterous to both that could possibly have happened ; as indeed all acquisitions, claims, and Possessions of John Bull's Stewards on Ter ra-firm, have uniformly proved. s2 132 Book4.cU.3- CHAp ttt Contents.— The Stewardship of the sixth Harry, or Harry the imbecile. — Through the Ambition, Broils, and Quarrels, of those about Young Harry, the whole of the Frankland Manor lost during his nonage. — Dick D'Eorkus, the Representative of the right Heir, who had been superseded by the fourth Harry, starts up, and claims the Steward - ship-of the Albion Manor. — After a long and obstinate Contest with varying success the Eorkists obtain the Stewardship, and the Long- campster Race is expelled Harry dies or is murdered in prison it is scarce known how. ship ofHan-y Both the Life and SteAvardship of the above Harry cife. Imbe were but of short continuance ; and dying he left his only Son a mere infant not ten months old ; yet was he declared Heir and Occupier of Both Stewardships, un der the Guardianship of his Uncles by the father's side. These Uncles Avere men of ability, and faithful to their Nephew, yet by quarrels and jealousies among Succeeds : in themselves, together with the ambition and factions of cy to both the Leading men on the Bull Manor — many of whom and Frank- were now become great, poAverful, and turbulent — aMships— W" Poor Harry before the end of a Aveak and inglorious Stewardship was stripped of both his Manors ; and closed his life in a prison. It may be presumed, that neither could the disin herited Heir of the Frankland Stewardship be Avell re conciled to resign his right in consequence of the Ver dict obtained in a precarious lawsuit ; nor could the Tenants and Holders on the Manor like to see them selves and their Interests absolutely disposed of with out their consent being either given, or asked. Ac cordingly , these tAvo parties joining tlieir Interests and Efforts, and taking advantage of the Quarrels and dissentions in the Bull Steward's Office, soon drove 133 Harry's people and all the Partisans of the Bull family Book 4, ch. 3. off the Frankland Manor. And not only did the Bull SteAvard's family at this time lose all the Interest and Possession that the late Harry had obtained in Frank- land ; but even, at last, those large Possessions, Avhich they had held ever since the time of Guillam Nor- Avorld, Avere either by the prevalence of the Franks, or by the treachery of Harry, 's Agents entirely, and for ever, lost to the Albion Stewardship and Manor. This event when it happened was no doubt exceeding mor tifying to the vanity, and lessening to the importance, not only of the Stewards but of John Bull himself; yet Avas it perhaps in reality one of the most fortunate events for the Bull Family and Manor that ever took Fortunately place. As every event must prove fortunate, which shall cut off, and exclude, all Interest, Possession, and Interference of the Albion Stewards upon Terrafirm. And even from the present pernicious Lawsuit, which Avas so perversly begun, and has been so long and so disasterously continued, should the Fortunes of the Bull Family at all survive it, it is to be hoped one important advantage may be derived — that of the extinction for ever of all Interest and Interference of the Albion Stewardship and SteAvards upon Terra- firm.* Those Terrafirmal Possessions are now in other hands, and however the present LaAVsuit may be compromised ; should it be on terms, that — for Avhat- ever compensation — shall for ever henceforth exclude their being held by the Bull Family Steward, it would be an Event worthy of a more triumphant Jubilee than Family loses the Frank- land Manor, and all the Possessions of his Family upon it. * Alas ! so far is this hope from being confirmed, that, since writing the above, the case has become more desperate than eVer. 134 Book 4. ch. s. all the Jubilees that have been celebrated during this Jubilant SteAvardship. But the greatest disasters of the Stewardship of this Harry, Avhom we may call Harry the imbecile, sprung from a different source. We took notice above that Harry Longcampster, though he had by art and management obtained the Stewardship, was not the lineal Heir of Ned his Grandfather, there being De scendants of an Elder Branch of the Family alive. But during the active and vigorous Stewardships of the two preceding Harries these had with much caution been kept in obscurity, and the head of the FamUy, the immediate Heir, under some pretence or other had been confined in a prison, and scarely heard of till he died. DickD'Eorkus By his death Dick D'Eorkus, his Nephew, be- Heir p^Tn came the Lineal Heir. This Dick was a bold auda- the steward" culus fellow, and had three Sons grown up as daring 6uit)- and confident as himself. These, conscious of the claims they possessed, were not the men to sit quiet, and let tlieir supposed Right be kept from them by so easy and Aveak an Instrument as poor Harry was now found to be : — very unfit indeed to have charge of the Estate, or manage the affairs of such a numerous and turbulent Family as that of John Bull's was now become. Dick, having consulted some of his friends, began his operations by claiming the Honours and distinction due to his rank and station as a private individual, from which he had hitherto been jealously excluded. These could not noAV be Avell denied him ; and he soon made them steps to mount higher, and at last openly asserted his Right to the Stewardship. 135 That Dick was the lineal heir of the Oldest Branch Book 4' chl % of the Broomstick Family there could be no doubt.— But there can be as little doubt both from reason and fact, that though the Stewardship was made in a cer tain degree hereditary, it must still be ultimately under the control and regulation of the Proprietor. — It is impossible, — it is inconceivable, either in LaAV or Rea son, that any Agreement or Constitution could so abso lutely consign and dispose of the Rights, Privileges, Persons, and Property, of a numerous and far-spread Family, a whole Race of People, as that they them selves could not upon any necessity, or emergency what soever, change or alter it. It is impossible that any Statement of such Disposal however pretended, or intended, could ment. rgU ever set aside or make void the natural and unalienable Right of succeeding Generations to do themselves right, to improve their condition, to dispose of them selves and their own affairs. Now as Harry of Long- campster, — the term by which we shall henceforth dis tinguish that Party, — by whatever sinister arts he ob tained the Stewardship, Avas settled and confirmed in it by the full consent of the Family, and had so held it for three generations, — the Title and Right of his Family was no doubt, at least as good as that of the Original Possessor. And is the same indeed by which the Office is held at this day ; and the only legitimate one by which any such Office or Station can be ob tained, or held. And which, though not sufficient to bar the same Disposal of it again, Avhen from the same abuses the same necessity shall arise, yet was certainly as sufficient to bar Dick's claim and pretensions, as the Settlement on > the Present Steward's Family is to bar 136 Book 4. ch. 3; the Pretensions of the old discarded Family, or any other Claim whatsoever. To assert the contrary of this, would be just as absurd, as to assert that the pre sent Generation have a Right to dispose of their Chil dren and all their Posterity as Slaves for ever ; and that those Children and Pos'terity through all genera tions, however able and hoAvever excited to reclaim and vindicate their Freedom, are obliged to submit themselves for ever, as Slaves to the Descendants of those Masters to whom their Ancestors had consigned them. So that had Dick D'Eorkus had no other ground to go upon but his Lineal Descent and Hereditary Claim, both in Right, and fact, his Title might easily have been contemned. But alas ! such were at this Time the Factions, Quarrels, and Ambition, among the Great Leading Branches of the Bull Family, that dif ferent Parties were ready to sacrifice themselves, the paternal Estate, and the whole Family, to their Jea lousy and Ambition. This State of Affairs may be thus accounted for. — Guillam D'Norworld having, as related above, dispossessed John Bull's Family entirely of their Lands, lavished them in enormous and disproportioned Grants to a few of his Clerks, Scriviners, Bailiffs, and other Favorites. And even Avhen John Bull's Family began to recover part of the Estate, it was stdl only a' few Favourites avIio could be of service to the Usurp er's Interest that could obtain them. Thus the whole Lands of the extensive Manor of Albion, which origi nally belonged to the Bull Family in general, were noAV got into the hands of a few ; who by AVoalth and power 137 kept all the rest in a manner dependant upon them- Book 4. ch.s. selves. And the Norworld or Frankland and BullA t00 ower. families having by length of time and indiscriminate [uiand tur- 3 J ^ bulent Ans- intercourse entirely coalesced, these few had engrossed tocracy the ' cause of the almost the whole Power and Property on the Manor factious state of the Manor into their own hands. And dividing the whole Family into Factions, were often able to set both John Bull and his SteAvard at defiance. If indeed the Steward happened to be a person of activity, address, and vigour, and on good terms with the Family in general, he could for the most part keep those powerful Leaders in some order, and suppress their insolence ; but if he was Aveak, easy, and indo lent, as in the present instance, their turbulence and factions exceeded all bounds. And to one or other of these Great Men, or Aristocrates, as we would now call them, almost the whole family attached themselves, and were indeed dependant on them even for subsist- ance. These Aristocrates, then, encouraged by the weak ness and easiness of Harry's Character, and the depen- dance to which, by their disproportioned Power and Possessions, they had reduced the bulk of the Bull family, taking Part, some with Harry the Present Pos sessor, some with Dick the NeAV Pretender, under the Names of the Longcampstrist and Eorkist, divided the Folk on the Albion Manor into two of the most violent and irreconcilable Factions that ever existed among the same stock and kindred. Thus mutually irritated and inflamed, to Law and Broils they Avent, each fully determined on the entire ruin of the other : Nor did the Avreck and waste of the T 138 Book 4. ch.3. Estate, and ruin of the Family, in their relentless ani mosities, give them any concern or check. Nor amidst their furious passions and headlong pursuits, did these Candidates ever allow themselves to think, that after all their quarrels and Lawsuits about the Stewardship, neither the one nor the other could have any Right to it but by John Bull's own Consent and disposal. And though at that time this principle Avas not so decidedly ascertained and acknowledged as it uow is, yet Avas it clearly deducible not only from reason and common sense, but from the Spirit and Tenor of the Great Roll, so often mentioned above, and sanctioned by all Parties. But the (ruth is, though this Great Roll was then TheGreatRoii m being, and in full force ; yet such is the propensity at this time &' J r r J entirely neg- 0f persons of this Station and Character to contemn all lected. r ' Right, and to break through all restraint but their own Will and Passions, that little more regard was had to this most important Deed and Instrument, than if no such had existed . And the Stewards had again assumed all the insolence of the Original Norworld Race. And the Folk on the Manor in general, as is always the case with such, being more influenced by Custom and Habit, than by Reason or Right 3 and being mostly held in servile dependance on the Aristocrates, had almost lost both the sight, and the knowledge, of their Rights and Privileges ; as Avell as the power and spirit to maintain and defend them. It would be both tedious and superfluous here to recount the numerous Trials at Bar, — the various and contradictory Verdicts obtained in this long and obsti nate Quarrel ; as well as the many bruises, black eyes, N 139 broken limbs, and spattered brains, that daily occur- Book 4. ch. 3.' red in the broils and scuffles that took place between the adherents of the different Parties. For, in such Quarrels the Cause is never maintained by reason and argument alone : and here each Party kept in pay a set of Ruffians, Bailiffs, Bullies, and Banditti, ready for any enterprise they might choose to set them on. And whereever these met a desperate Scuffle was sure to ensue; which never ended without maiming and bloodshed. In consequence of these indecisive Verdicts, and varying scuffles, sometimes the one, and sometimes the other, seized the SteAvardship, and Wasted the Manor. But at last a final and decisive Verdict Avas obtained by After various the Eorkists ; and the Longcampstrian Partisans were indecisiveTri- als Ned the beaten from the field, and from the Bar, and durst never son of Dick, i .i •<..<-.,. -r c obtains the shew their faces in Court again. In consequence ot stewardship. this Decision, Ned, the Son of Dick the first Claimant, took possession of the Stewardship : Dick himself hav ing had his brains beat out irt one of these scuffles during the Quarrel, and his battered Scull set upon the gate of Eork Town. And poor Harry was soon after murdered, or died in Prison, it is scarce known how. T.2 140 Book 4. ch. 4. Chap IV. Contents. — The Stewardship of the fourth Ned — and of the fifth, — if he may be at all said to have held the Stewardship. — Some shocking in stances of Cruelty and unjust Judgment under the fourth Ned — dyinfj leaves a Son, Ned, a promising Youth about twelve years of age, with another son a few years younger — both almost immediately murdered by their Uncle Dick Hunchback— who himself assumes the Steward-, ship. This Ned was a gay handsome amorous blade, and a great favorite with the Ladies ; which was of no ship o"athe little service to him in getting, and keeping, quiet pos er" rNe<|Nthe session of the Stewardship. But Ned though seemingly Debonair. a ^nc courtly debonair fellow, had at bottom all the unfeeling insensibility and disregard for man's Life that belongs to the true Stewardical Character. Of this a poor felloAv Avho kept a little Vintner's Shop in Ludstown had a woful proof. This unfortunate Wight had put up for his Sign the Steward's Crest, or Ensign of Office ; and willing to Entertain his Guests not only with his Wine but also with his Wit, he said He would make his Son Heir to the Steward's Crest — the Name by Avhich, according to custom, his House Avas known. But he paid dear for his Avit ; for the Speech having come to Ned's ears, he had him hanged Avithout re morse or remedy. It Avas in the same Stewardship, that another no less luckless Wight happening to have some dispute with a Retainer to one of your Aristocrates, who, as the custom then was, Avore a badge bearing his master's Crest, which, in order to strike his Antagonist in the dispute dumb at once, he held up to him ; — this Crest happened to be a SAvan, which the unfortunate man mistaking for a Goose, said, in the genuine Bull > Spirit, " I don't mind that Goose ; " — but the poor man 141 was actually hanged for calling the Great Man's Swan Book 4, ch. 4. a Goose. Ned's Stewardship was not of long continuance ; and dying in the prime of life he left a Son of his own name, a Boy about twelve years of age, to succeed him, and also another Son a few years younger. The eldest was immediately admitted to the Stewardship, under the Guardianship of his Uncle Dick Hunchback, a a fifth Ned, a fellow equally distorted, in Person and Character, in cee'ds— anius Body and Mind ; but not deficient of force and vigour ™™e iaa^y in either. This wretch having first got his NepheAvs u'ncie^Dick into his hands, by causing some uncles by the mother's Hunchback. side, to whom the care of their Education had been committed, to be murdered, he determined at all events to get rid of them also, and to force himself into the Stewardship. To effect this" he began by trumping up a story of tlieir Father's illegitimacy, though at the expence of the honour of his own mother, a venerable Old Lady still alive. He also endeavoured to impeach the legi timacy of his Nephews themselves, in consequence of a reported contract between their Father and another Lady before he was married to their Mother. But his surest card in playing this Game, and that on which he placed most dependance,Avas, to get the seeming ap probation of John Bull and the Folk on the Manor. To any other person in Dick's situation this would have appeared a desperate Attempt, for Dick, on account of the known perverseness and depravity both of his Per son and Character, was almost universally detested by the Family ; besides their abhorrence of the aim he had at present in vieAV. 142 Book 4. ch. 4. HoAvever, Dick represented the insufficiency of a Boy for such extensive affairs, and the weakness of his own Authority in the limited Character of a Guardian ; and having assembled the Rabble of Ludstown, he en deavoured by a plausible harangue to get them to hol low and hail him Steward! — but even the Mob had too much sense of honour and justice; and not a man of them would open his mouth. At last having planted among them some of his own Creatures and Dependants, and given them their Lesson; he renewed his ha rangue : and a few voices from the Crowd Avere heard to call out — Let Richard be Steward ! — Save Steward .Richard ! To this he appealed as an universal consent. And having partly by fear, and partly by promises of Farms and Freeholds out of the Manor, prevailed on two or three of the principal Holders to countenance his Design, he made these the pretence of a general in vitation to assume the Stewardship ; and at last with great affected reluctance, - actually assumed it. His Nephews, two fine promising Boys, were, under pre tence of safety, sent to an old Castle belonging to the Steward ; and were never seen nor heard of more. 143 Chap. V. Book4.ch.a. Contents — The Stewardship of the third Dick, or Dick Hunchback.— This Dick a Fellow equally depraved in Body and Mind — Soon be comes universally detested — A general Conspiracy against him, beaded by Harry De Rougemont — In one of those Brawls which are common on such occasions Dick gets his brains beat out, and Harry with the consent of John Bull and the Family assumes the Steward ship. Howevbr little account the Stewards on John Bull's Estate may affect to make of the choice, consent, or ap- Dick Hunch- probation, of the Family, when they think themselves the choice*^? securely fixed in the office ; and however confidently and assumes they may talk of indefeasable Hereditary Right when 8ta7p.S'eward" such doctrines suit their purposes, — no sooner do they find their situation doubtful, or want to found a new Claim, than they are fain to have recourse to this only true and Legitimate ground of Right, the Approbation of the Proprietors, the Choice of John Bull and his Family. And had this Dick had any fair pretension to rest his Possession on that foundation, it might per-* haps have been both valid and lasting. But Dick's claim to such a choice Avas a mere pretence, which could neither impose upon himself nor others. But, besides his Possession being a mere usurpa tion, both on the civil Rights of his Nephews, and the natural Rights of John Bull, the desperate wicked ness of his Character, and especially the murder of his Nephews, had rendered this Dick so universally de-1 tested, that there was a general combination of almost all who lived on the Manor to expel him from theisdeposed.and Stewardship. A few Lawyers, indeed, and some attend- byVheuniver- ants about the Steward's Office,— and these, because ^fd ^prta- tbey could not well extricate themselves from him — tion of the Fa- 144 Book 4. ch. 5. stood by him. But when a Prosecution was raised against him, and an Action at Law was brought under the conduct of Harry Godgift, Elderman of Rouge- ment, supported by almost the whole Inhabitants of the Manor, a Rencounter of the Parties took place ; and some even of those who pretended to be of Dick's side, deserting him, he was found at the close of the Fray with his brains beat out, Avhether by his oavh party or the opposite was never knoAvn ; but that the thing was done seemed to give great satisfaction to all parties, and put an end to the Lawsuit. Chap. VI. Contents — The Stewardship of the Seventh Harry.— This Harry pre suming on some alliances to the Longcampster Line— takes Possession of the Stewardship — is confirmed by the consent of the Bull Family, his only valid Title — marries the Eldest Daughter of the late Ned, since the Death of her Brothers the real lineal Heiress to the Steward ship — of which title her Husband was so zealous that he never treated her generously nor tenderly. — Thi6 Harry's most conspicuous charac teristic Avarice, and the principal Business of his Stewardship Ex torting Money under various pretences from rich Individuals. This Harry De Rougemont Avas allied to the Longcamp ster Family, and had some remote pretensions to the Harry De Stewardship ; of which he availed himself to take im- Rougemont r assumes the mediate possession of it. And as this was done Avith the Stewardship, vfith the con- universal consent of John Bull's Family ; which was proha.ion of indeed his only valid Title, he,stood firmly established ami y. .^ ^e Office. But this universal consent arose rather from his having rid them of such a detestable pest as 143 Dick, than from the opinion of any Claim or Right Book 4. ch.G. inherent in himself. But to strengthen his Claim both from Possession and Right, and to make that of his Posterity indisputable, he, conformable to the de sire of the whole Bull Family, married Bett, the Eldest Daughter of the late Ned ; since the death of her Bro thers the unquestionable lineal Heir to the Steward ship. This Harry was a shreAvd, politic, deep designing knave, and taking advantage of the situation of things, at his accession to the Stewardship, when the Family were quite tired out with broils and quarrels, he laid the foundation of a more vigorous, efficient, and deci- T'.ie . Famiiv ° ' tired out with sive, exercise of the Office, than any of his Predeces- Broils, and _L their leading sors since John Bull recovered the Right and Posses- Men extm. sion of his own Manor, had been able to attain to . them ; Harry t, , ... ,, t, . . . ... ... assumes a most ror however arbitrary the .Principles and dispositions vigorous and of the Original Norworld Race might be ; they found ercisiTojF the themselves in general, after the first Guillam, so much Stewardsll|p- checked by the defects in their Titles, and the defer ence they were hence obliged to show to the Tenants and people on the Manor, that they seldom could carry their poAver to the full extent of their Principles. And they were at last still further impeded in the ex ercise of this power by the great influence of the prin cipal occupiers of land on the Manor, who had either come in with Guillam and cl aimed to be Sharers in his acquisitions ; or had risen in consequence of the indul gence of his Successors to the Supporters of their defec tive Titles. But this Harry not only united in his Family by his marriage, the Claims of both the late contending Parties ; but it contributed further to his 146 Book 4. ch. s. stability, that during the long contests in which almost every one took a part, the great Occupiers of Land, many of Avhom had scarce less power and influence than the Steward himself, had either been ruined in their Fortunes, or their Families had been extinguished in the late long quarrels and broils, in which, as Ave have said, many on both sides lost their lives. And even those who survived, and still retained their Lands, found themselves so much encumbered Avith debts, in which these quarrels had involved them, that they were fain to dispose of part of their large estates, in order to disencumber the rest. To do this, Harry gave them good leave ; as being sensible that he Avas thereby get ting rid of the most poAverful and troublesome inter rupters of that arbitrary exercise of the Office, which every SteAvard aims at. Add to all this, that the Folk on the Estate were in general so tired out, and so sick of Broils and Quarrels about the Stewardship, in which many of them had little interest or concern, that they were glad to sit down quietly under almost any exer cise of it. Of this Harry's Character one of the most distin- Iiarry's lead- guislied features was avarice, an insatiable desire of '.ng propen- amassing money ; in which indeed he Avas highly suc- sitythcamas- ° J s J sing of Mo-ccssful. For as rich individuals Avere his marked prey, ney : which x J he does with the Tenantry and Folk on the Manor in general Avere great dexte- nty and sue- not much interrupted, and in return minded their own business, and did not much interrupt him in his pro ceedings. And as he set upon his victims one by onex Avhom under various pretences he fined in enormous sums in the Courts of the Manor; and as each hoped to escape till he himself Avas seized on, no general corabi- 147 nation of the Rich was excited against him. Of these Book 4. ch. 6. long and successful extortions he had tAvo tried and approved agents named Duddy and Dempson, a couple of Hounds true to the scent, and eager in the chace; But his lnstm- the keenest Diabolus Dispesatorius, in our days not ty&Demp- more so. But what deserves observation, as mark- Sable3, bm ing the difference betAveen these times and ours, solitfry e*- ' ample, are is, that though these trusty Curs of the Steward hanged for J their labour. went on long with impunity, they both at last received the due reward of their deeds, and Avere hanged for their practices. Whereas so thoroughly inured are the Bull family noAv to submission and pa tience, that the most obnoxious tools of the Steward knoAV they have nothing to fear, or answer for, either with their lives or property ; though instead of a few Rich Men. their extortion and rapacity extends to every Individual on the Manor, who has any thing to part with, or to be seized upon ; or who dares to assume a thought or sentiment of his OAvn, or utter a word that may detect the pernicious policy of the Steward's Office. By the means mentioned above, this Harry, the first of the Theodore, or Godgift Line, transmitted the Transmits his Stewardship to his Son of the same Name, so firmly ^/newiy 'm- established both in wealth and authority, that No Stew- sTed <• »gh J ' strain of Au- ard since Guillam of Norworld had exercised the Office J?01 "y in the. Lxercise of with so high a hand. And it requires to be particu- the steward ii i • i • i ii- ti r- ship tohis son larly noticed, that this high and arbitrary Exercise of Harry-which a ii. • i ¦ i • i i i • 's vigorously the Stewardship was so vigourously maintained by Ins maintained successors through the whole of the Godgift Line ; that whole of the though a mere usurpation, confirmed by habit, and encouraged by Forbearance, it came to be looked upon v2 143 Book 4. ch. 6,. as the genuine Spirit and Principle of the Office. And those who, notwithstanding the Great Roll, the Claim of Rights, the Roll of Rights, and all the solemn sanctions since confirmed by Facts, and now in force to the contrary, would still bring the Execise of the SteAvardship to these arbitrary Principles, and put the tuousTtuTof servant before his Master, the Steward above his Lord, sumed'by the are s*'^ ^ond °f recurring to these times for precedents. steward. rp0 these times also, and to this over-strained idea of the Exercise of the SteAvard's Office and Authority may be referred the resumption of that insolent and assum ing stile and Manner of Speech still permitted, and constantly used by the Steward, of calling the Family and Folk on the Manor My Folk, — and the Meeting, originally intended to consult about the affairs of the Family, and to direct and restrain his Authority and Power, My Faithful Folk-meeting, — and both Cham bers of Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office, My Palaverium. And when lately, in our OAvn times, a despicable Syco phant Knave* to flatter the SteAvard, and feel the Pulse of the Folk on the Manor, ventured lo broach the Doc- — An instance trine — That the Steward was the sole Source and Spring of as eflects. of ajj power? Possession, and Right on the Manor ; and that all Laws, Customs, and Privileges centered solely in his Authority.— That Constitution Hall with all its Privileges and Rights of Protection might be blown in the air, — Mrs. Bull turned out of doors, and the House razed to the Foundation — in short — that all that John Bull and his Family had been for generations labouring * The Recreant R— v— s. This AVolf in sheep's clothing, who would have reduced all Liberty to the Steward's Will, and consigned all proper ty to his disposal, had a little before set up the Cry of Liberty and Pro perty. Such are the tricks attempted to be played upon John Bulk 149 to establish and secure, might be lopt off and swept away ; Book 4. ch. 8. and yet the whole Economy of the Manor would be essen tially perfect and entire if the Steward's Office and Au thority remained. But when some of the few faithful Sons of the Family in the Palaverium, jealous of the Squire's Interest and Mrs. Bull's Honour, — proposed to call this Caitif to account for such a traiterous position ; the skulking Knave was fain to pull in his horns ; and to take shelter under the above Mode of Speech, plead ing, that he meant nothing more than it implied. And by the accustomed influence of the Steward's Agents he escaped even without censure : a proof that it is high time that this Mode of Speech were put aii end to, when such plain and palpable Villainy can find Shelter under it. Not but that the Mode of Speech is at pre sent too well supported by Facts. Yet dare not the boldest advocate of such Speeches, nor the readiest Actors in such Facts, appeal to their direct meaning and tendency in Support of their Principles and De signs ; as conscious that they are no less false and inde fensible, than they are evident and undeniable. 150 Book 4 ch.7. CHAP. VII. Contents — The Stewardship of the Eighth Harry— this Harry comes tb the Stewardship in the early prime of Youth, full of Life and Spirit ; and setting out in a high Strain of Gayety and Expencesoon dissipates the immense treasures his Father's lAvarice had amassed— The most important transaction of this Stewardship the Quarrel with Peter, and his consequent expulsion from the Manor — another distinguished fea ture of this Steward's character was his singular humour with respect so his Wives — of which he married Six — hanged two — devorced two — one dying of her first child eluded her fate, one after a very narrow escape for her her life, saw him out. The steward- Harry, the Second of the Godgift Line, succeeded his Eighth Har- Father in the Stewardship, in the early prime of youth, ry" and being gay, free, and high-spirited, he soon dissi pated the immense wealth that his father had amassed. And so great was his vanity and ostentation, that in a lawsuit which he had with Lewis Baboon, he affected to retain as a laAvyer in his cause the great Squire South, who assumes the highest stile and title of the whole country round, and allowed him a retaining Fee of 100 dollars a day. And the Squire, a covetous crafty hunks, ahvays ready to do any thing for money, was very happy at such a price to flatter Harry's vanity and made no little ostent of the honour he did him in condescending to receive his money. This is perhaps the first instance of that practice, which has since in our time so ruinously prevailed, of the profuse and un conscientious lavishing of John Bull's money in retain ing Fees to lawyers and their Train on Terrafirm, for the Interest, or Vanity of the Steward. But the most important, and prominent feature, in the Character and SteAvardship of this Harry, was his Quarrel and Breach with Lord Peter. And that arose chiefly from another, scarce less distinguishing feature, 131 his singular humour with respect to his Wives, of which he had Six successively. And of these, two he hanged, tAvo he divorced, one escaped fairly by dying in child bed of her first child, and the Sixth, after a very nar row escape for her life, saw him out, and survived him. This Fellow, though as unprincipled as any of his Station, had no notion, like most of them, of keeping a Mistress when he had got tired of his Wife, or of in dulging his fancy abroad when it was surfeited with its object at home. But being as entirely addicted to self- gratification as any of the Race could be ; and as, in the true Spirit of his Profession, the Life of Man orWoman was nothing to him, his readiest way seemed to be, when tired of one Wife, or when he had cast his eye on another object, to make room for her by dispatching the first. Two of the number mentioned above, however, being from the Families of two neighbouring Stewards of great Authority and Influence in the whole country round, he durst not altogether indulge his own dispo sition in getting rid of them in the shortest and most efficacious way ; he was therefore content with di vorcing them. The others being natives of the Manor, and of John Bull's own Family, Avith Avhom he thought no ceremony was necessary, he made no difficulty of dispatching them in his own way. — But to the point of his dispute Avithi Peter. We have already observed that the first Ned had dipt the wings of Peter, and set some bounds to his Pretensions in the Manor of Albion. But though from that time his Authority and Influence were greatly li mited, compared to Avhat they had been in SteAvard Jack's time, when he assumed the sole disposal of the Book 4. ch. 7. The two most distinguishing Features of his Charac ter and Stew ardship, the Dismissal of Peter, — and singular Dis-, posal of Six Wives. 152 Book 4. ch. 7. Manor ; yet as John Bull's Mother's Household Stew ard, and Manager of her large Jointure, to which he obstinately pretended, his influence on the Estate, and authority with the Family, were still very considerable, particularly all matters concerning Pontificals, Creeds, and Kirkcraft, were still permitted tft be under his management. Marriage and Divorce, of course, fell within his Province. Now Harry, after he had lived twenty years Avith his first Wife Kate, having cast an eye on one of her waiting maids, began to be troubled with unconquera ble scruples of conscience about the lawfulness of his marriage, because his wife had been contracted in early youth to his elder brother, who died a boy. He ac cordingly applied for Peter's authority to divorce her under pretence of these checks of conscience, and this unlawfulness of his marriage. — Whatever his pretence might have been, it would have made no difference with Peter ; nor for what his authority Avas wanted — Avhe- ther to divorce his Wife, to marry his Mother, or to murder his Father, Peter's sanction might with equal ease and certainty have been obtained, by one so able and willing to pay for it as Harry was in the present instance. But it happened that this Avife was the sister of the Great Lord Strut, a person of prime importance and of extensive influence in the country round ; and being in high favour with Peter, he interposed in be half of his sister to prevent the divorce. This greatly embarrassed Peter, who wished not to offend either of the tAvo parties, each of which he thought he might turn to good account. But, as in the present case he could not oblige both, he thought it his best game- 1& 153 temporize, and tamper with each party separately, and Book 4. ch. 7. to protract as long as possible a business, which while » it lasted Was sure to draw money and compliances from both. But Harry's humour was too impatient, and his Character too impetuous, to be trifled with. And find ing he could bring Peter to no decision, and that he rather favoured his adversary' s side, after much time and tampering, — he determined by his OAvn Authority Peter and a)l to turn his wife out of doors, and Peter with all his his , i>acl' ' turned out Train out of John Bull's Mother's House, and off the of . ?°°rus.' ' and all his Manor of Albion at once. Which with a small effort Power and Pretensions of his Authority he effectually -did. assumed by . . Harry him This, considering the influence of Peter at that self.— time through the whole Country, was certainly a bold stroke ; but perfectly in character for Harry. Peter then being expelled the Manor, Harry had no difficulty, by means of the Chief of the Kirkcraft Cast on the Manor, to obtain a divorce from his Old Wife, and a Marriage with a young one ; for truly Kate was a little in years, and considerably older than Harry himself. Harry now, in conformity with the arbitrary strain which the Stewardship had then assumed, declared that he took all Matters Avhich had formerly been under the management of Peter and his Agent into his own hands. Har^s j^* And that the Economy of John Bull's Mother's Hous- trary ^exer- hold, the Disposal of her jointure, with whatever re- stewardship. lated to Creeds or Kirkcraft, equally with all the other concerns of the Manor, rested wholely with himself. In fact, John Bull and all that he had were not more arbitrarily claimed and possessed by Guillam of Nor- 154 Book 4. ch. 7. world than now by this Harry. — And even at the pre sent day, when every intimation of the Will of the Steward ; though it were to call for 500,000 livres at a time to support the expence of his Daughters' Vanity, or to discharge the debts- of his Son's De bauchery, is re-echoed with eager complaisance by the Palaverium, — even at this day, though John and all he possesses are more easily and indisput- edly at the Disposal of the Steward, — they are not more absolutely disposed of by him, than they were by this Harry : whose Father had but a few years before, by the mere favour and partiality of the Family stepped into the Stewardship. — And this will always be the case with every Steward, where the Landlord does not keep a proper eye and check upon him : of this John Bull's Affairs at this moment afford a deplorable, and it is to be feared, a desperate proof. However even this arbitrary assumption into such a hand as Harry's proved on this occasion of some ad vantage to the Family, as it got them rid of the crafty Knave Peter artd his Policy for ever. And the Spirit of the Bull Family, though at that time depressed and seemingly dormant, found afterwards a time and means effectually to check the presumptuous pretensions of the Stewardship. But though this step of Harry's, in driving the Rogue Peter with all his Train out of Madam Bull's House, and from all their possessions on the Manor, was in the event attended with great and important consequences, yet the advantages of it did not immedi ately much appear. For this Harry was just as inso- 155 lent and as arbitrary as Peter himself could be ; and Book 4. ch. assumed the same absolute tyranny over the understand ing, Conscience, and common Sense of the People on the Manor that Peter had done. And as to the immense Possessions which Peter and his followers had got into their hands out of the Old Lady's Estates and Jointure Lands, instead of re storing them to the Squire or his Mother, to whom they belonged, the Steward lavished them in extravagant and unconscionable Donations upon his Favorites, Menial Servants, and the Idlest Attendants about his Office. Chap. VIIL Contents.— The Stewardship of the Sixth Ned.— This Ned a most prom ising Youth—acts under the Guardianship of Two Uncles— During his short Stewardship the Bull Family make considerable advances in Freedom and Knowledge— Dies under age. To Harry succeeded his only Son Ned. This Ned The steward- was a most amiable and promising Youth ; but when sixth Ned. * his Father died he was a mere boy, and principally under the management of two Uncles by the Mother's side. These luckily Avere no friends to the expelled Peter and his Usurpations. And as they were more in tent upon securing their own influence and authority in the Steward's Office, and on the Manor in general, than anxious about the Economy of Madam Bull's x2 156 Boob 4. ch. 8. Houshold, or the speculative opinions of Kirkcraft, the tyrannical authority, arbitrary dogmas, and absurd practises imposed by the late Harry in these matters were much abated ; and the Folk on the Manor found themselves more at liberty to use their Understandings, and exercise their Reason, than they had ever been ac customed to. And as such extraordinary changes, and such bold violations of what had so long been held sa cred, astonished and aroused the mind, the Folk began to think. And though for a Avhile, especially during the life of Harry, they found it convenient to keep their thoughts much to themselves, yet the Mind had broken its fetters ; and though it was not able at one Under it the effort to burst open its prison doors, it could not much Bull Family iongjer be confined. Light had been let in, the embers make great £> ° ' advances in 0f Truth and Freedom had been stirred, and were Knowledge and Freedom kindling ; and soon after they blazed forthwith a flame, whose light and heat diffused themselves over this and many neighbouring Manors, and have never since been quenched. When light is once let in, and the Mind unfettered from prejudice, Reason and Common Sense are for the most part sufficiently clear-sighted to find their way in the essential concerns of life and Practice. Accordingly, during the short Stewardship of this Ned, the Bull Family made great though silent advances in the prac tical knowledge of whatever concerned their Rights and Privileges as Men, and as Denizens of their own Manor, as Avell as in Science and Theological Specu- tion ; on which at this time all the World Avere parti cularly intent. 157 Chap. IX. Book 4. ch. 9. Contents.— Some further Strictures on the Character, Policy, and Prac tices of Peter— his Craft in keeping the Will or Testament of the Great Lord Paramount shut up in an unknown tongue — This, now translated into the Dialect of the Manor of Albion, diffuses great light and im provement among the Folk on the Manor. As we have had such frequent occasion to mention Peter and his Practices, and are now about to get rid of him from the Bull Manor and Family for ever, it may not be amiss before we part, to take a little more parti- A few parting , * strictures on cular notice of his Character, and Policy not only on the Charac- the Manor of Albion, but whereever his influence ex- iicy of Peter tended. Peter, as stated above, first got footing on the Manor of Albion by the permission of John Bull and his Steward, for the purpose of introducing some Scholarship and Manners, as also some Kirkcraft Insti tutions into the Family : of all which they stood much in need. But Peter, always a selfish designing Knave, taking advantage of the ignorance and credulity of the Folk in general, instead of enlarging their knowledge, only endeavoured to impress upon them certain cabal- istical Notions, and Artificial Dogmas; a kind of Quackery of his own invention, more absurd and con temptible than mere simple Ignorance. And instead of a pious and venerable Theologism, taught, and ha bituated them to a kind of Deisdemonism, more ridicu lous and absurd than was ever professed, or practised, by the most rude and barbarous people in the world. But the most important, and most zealously en forced, of all Peter's Nostrum's, was, the necessity of a Firm Belief that he himself was an Infallible Guide in all cases — that he could give a Dispensation from all 158 Book 4. ch. 9. the Laws of God and Man — that he could give any man a pardon, not only for all the wickedness and crimes he had ever committed, but for all that he ever should, or could, commit ; and that nothing more was necessary to secure his entrance into heaven than such a Pardon or Pasport, under the hand of Peter or any one commissioned by him. And such pardons were actually sold every day to whoever chose to purchase them. What a gainful Trade Peter must raise from this one Article, amidst the ignorance which he culti vated, and the implicit faith which he enjoined, may be easily conjectured, Peter's great aim was to make men mere tools in his hands and the hands of his Emi- saries ; and that Men should be with respect to them, what Beasts of Service are with respect to men ; and that their lives and Goods should be equally at his dis posal. And though in the concerns of Life and Goods, he has not been completely successful ; yet as to all in terference of Reason and Common Sense in Matters of Religion and Moral Practice bis success had been almost complete. But now, Peter having been expelled from the Manor of Albion, and his Quackery exposed, the Bull Family and the Folk on the Manor in general made surprising progress in freedom of thought, improve ment of manners, and vigour of character. What greatly contributed to this emancipation of mind, and general improvement, was, the Publication at this time, in the common dialect of the Manor, of the Will or Testament of the Great Lord Paramount of the boundless Regions of Paspasapan, containing a System of the most excellent Maxims, Examples, Laws, audi 159 Will or Testamentof the Great Lord Para mount of Paspasapan, which Peter had kept locked up in an iron chest in an Un known tongue, be ing published in the dialect of the Ma nor, produ ces Greaf and Good Effects. Institutions, for the regulation of life and practice that Book 4. ch. 9. ever was dfcvised. This Will or Testament was pro- The fessedly the foundation of all the Laws and Institutions, and the indisputable Standard and Rule of Opinions and Manners, not only on the Manor of Albion, but on all the neighbouring Manors of the whole country round ; though in fact, nothing can be more contrary to its Spirit and Design in most instances, than both their Institutions and Practice. But as Peter had assumed to himself the whole Right of regulating opinions, manners, and practice, through the same extent of Country ; and indeed pre tended to be the sole and absolute Representative and Vicegerent of the Lord Paramount, and the immediata Substitute of his Only Son, whom he had solemnly de clared alone his Representative and Heir, — he claimed to himself, as sole executor, the keeping, with the abso lute and indisputed Interpretation, of this Will. But as his own conduct and practices, as well as what ha prescribed to others, were in general glaringly inconsis tent with it, the contradiction would have been too plain and palpable even to the most simple and igno rant, with this Will and Testament in their hands. Peter therefore pretended, that as Sole Executor and Depositary of the Will, all the laws, regulations, and customs prescribed in it were left wholely to his Interpretation, and Authority ; and that nothing could be more dangerous than for men to use their own rea son and understanding on such subjects. Which, as he represented them, were often the direct contrary to common sense and sound reason. He therefore kept the Will locked up in an iron chest, and written in a 160 Book 4. ch. 9. language wholely unknown to those in general for whom it was intended : and only understood by a feAV of the initiated. But now knowledge had begun to dawn ; and even some of the initiated, either from con viction and detestation of the roguery, or from emula tion and jealousy among themselves, began to blab, and to expose the Imposture ; so that it was impossible to keep the Contents of the Will a secret any longer. This Will being, then, as we have said, at this time published in the Albion Dialect, and also in the different Dialects of some of the surrounding Manors, such light and knowledge in the general concerns of all the Inhabitants of the Great Tsland of Sublunaria, on which we live, was let in, as aroused a Spirit of Free dom and Enquiry, which all the arts and efforts of Peter and his Emisaries have never been able to sup press.* Indeed from this period, on the whole of the Albion and some neighbouring Manors the authority of Peter has been entirely at an end, and himself and all his abettors expelled under the severest penalties. What gave the most general satisfaction to the whole Country, and excited universal indignation against Peter, was,j — that when this Will or Testament, which had been represented as so mysterious, so dange rous and unfit for the hands of common folk, came to be knoAvn ; it was found to be the most plain, simple, * Perhaps the present state of the Manors of Iberia and Green Erin may he adduced as exceptions to this assertion. And it is surely asingular Phenomenon in Nature, — that though more noble, generous, and exalted spirits, than may be found on either of these Manors, can no where be traced : yet the rest of the species seem scarce more eagerly to aspireat knowledge, freedom, and dignity ; than these at ignorance, slavery, and debasement of Character and Intellect, and to exhibit themselves the devoted tools of Peter : such is the myid-blasting, the man-d ebasing effect of this pernicious quackery. 161 and practicable, that could be imagined; consisting Bjok 4. ch.; chiefly of most excellent rules, precepts, admonitions, and examples, for the conduct of life and manners— with innumerable instances of the miserable effects of vice and neglect of Religion, and the happy effects of Piety and good morals on all the interests of Men. In short, nothing could exceed its simplicity and plain ness, but its excellent design, and beneficent tendency. It contains indeed id quod /Eque pauperibus prodest, locupletibus aeque ; iEque neglectum pueris senibusque nocebit. That which, duly regarded, may equally profit the rich and the poor ; and the neglect of which, must be equally hurt ful to the young and to the old. Some mysterious matters are indeed intimated in this Will. But upon these the practical part nowise depends ; nor are they required to be understood, or received, further than they are supported by evident and indisputable facts. Indeed these mysterious Points may rather be said to be merely intimated, than any in this Will it/. .. -ii -j ••! Mysteries on- behet or opinion concerning them required or enjoined. iy accident- In that part of the Will supposed to be immediately to—ut main dictated by the Testator himself, I think there is not andp'rac".^! one point of opinion or belief directly enjpined or re quired ; except the reception of the only Son as vice gerent in all the regions of his Dominions. These mysterious points indeed principally concern the person and character of the Great Lord Paramount and this his only Son, and sole Representative ; together with their Councils and Designs in the Economy and Govern ment of their Avhole Dominions ; the greater part of which, with the Seat of the Government, lie entirely beyond the Knowledge of the inhabitants of these Re- 162 Biok 4. ch. 9. gions. Of all these subjects, therefore, the Inhabitants of this Island of Sublunaria can have but very limited and imperfect notions and conceptions ; and it is a ne cessary consequence, that to them many things concern ing such subjects must appear wonderful, mysterious, and incomprehensible. — When the Traveller told the Prince who lived under the direct rays of the Sun, that in his country Avater sometimes became solid, and might be walked upon, — the Prince told him that he had long suspected him of telling falsehoods, but now he knew he lied. And the Prince was no doubt excusable ; for he thought he knew water as well as the Traveller. Yet where the Traveller had been, the incredible Fact was neither false, nor mysterious. Besides, this Will is Avritten in a highly figurative stile, such being peculiar to that part of the Country in bricated out Avhich it was draAvn up ; and many of the pretended rative"5 lIh- Mysteries and difficulties arise entirely out of the figura- Avnf-upttive language. had^uUt'" From all these, Peter and his Coadjutors have in- fhousand ri-jjggjj furnished out a strange medley of ludicrous mum- iliculous ab- s J surdities. meries, absurd opinions, and incomprehensible dogmas ; and this farrago he will insist on cramming down the throats of all Avho come within his reach. And were this the worst, the whole might be laughed at, or passed over in contempt. But upon these ludicrous and in comprehensible Absurdities Peter and his imitators have ingrafted very serious and important Practices. For though those mysterious points of which we are speak ing are but occasionally and transiently alluded to in the Will, Peter and his folloAvers have made them the Essentials of the whole ; without the reception of which, 163 no person, whatever his other pretensions may be, can Book 4. ch< 9. be permitted to partake of the benefits of the Will ; or even to Live in the society who pretend to have' adopt ed its Rules. And on some Manors Avhere the autho rity and Influence of Peter are supreme, the unques tioned Reception of these Dogmas, the ready SAvallow- ingdown of this Farrago, is made the very criterion of of which was Avho may Live, and Avho must Die. A"d thousands ™fwho might have been burnt alive — for that is the merciful mode of muestadie.w ° punishment that Peter has adopted — for being only suspected to doubt, Avhat no man in his right senses ever did believe, or ever can believe. — For instance—- The Great Representative and Vicegerent of the Lord Paramount, one night at supper Avith some chosen Friends, having in a very particular and impressive manner, under the consciousness that it was the last time he should eat and drink Avith them, in breaking and presenting bread to them — certainly somewhat mys tically, and in that figurative stile peculiar to the Coun try — announced it as his body, — or, as representing his Body to be broken for them, — alluding to a violent Death, he was about to suffer on their behalf — from this figurative Expression Peter has determined that not only the Bread used on this occasion, but all bread since used in commemoration of it, — after one of the initiated has pronounced certain words over it,— is really Flesh, and the very body of the said Representative. And Peter has not only consigned to eternal damnation all who dare to doubt this, but has actually committed to the Flames thousands for confessing that they could not believe it. It is to no purpose to appeal to his or their senses for the Bread standing before them ; — it is suffi- y2 164 Book 4. ch. 9. crent, that Peter has said it is Flesh, and that they are all eternally damned who dare to doubt or deny it. Upon these and a thousand other unknown and unknowable points, — such as the Personal Properties of the Lord Paramount and his only Son and Vicege rent, their Characters, and the Relation they bear to one another, their deepest Counsels, and most secret de signs, — Peter and those Avho have followed his steps, have erected a system of Dogmata and Credenda, per fectly beyond all human comprehension, and beside all human uses and purposes ; nay even the future Destinations and most mysterious Conceptions, of these illustrious Personages, the very Frame and Constitution . ... of their Minds and Wills* are all exactly determined A positiveness J and pecuiia-Dy tnese irrefragable Doctors. And upon all these rity affected J ° r upon these points they affect to prescribe with a positiveness, and points that pronounce with a precision and particularity, that is truly ab- . . surd and ri- Avould be ridiculous even iii talking of their most inti mate and familiar acquaintances. — Yet these Illustrious Sovereigns hold their Residence in, and Rule over, Re gions altogether beyond the knoAvledge or discovery of the Inhabitants of Sublunaria ; and Avhich Avere never visited by one from that Country, who ever returned to report concerning them. And all these Incomprehensibilities have not only been talked of and disputed upon, as matter of specu lation and opinion, but prescribed by Peter and others as absolutely to be received, and believed, by all, un der pain of Death here, and Eternal Damnation here after. J The Monothelite Controvert Pret. Com. 1 61 Yet these Points in general are just of as little im- Book 4 ch. portance to all practical ends and purposes, as whether he who is to eat an egg break it at the great or the srnall end ; and as incapable of being decided by Sublunari- ans, as what" is the stature of Men in the Moon. But to resume our more immediate subject. By the Publication of this Will in the language of the Manor, and by the natural shrewdness and freedom of thinking habitual to John Bull's Family, Peter's arts were now all clearly detected, and his Character and Designs so thoroughly seen through, and detested, that he could never after obtain any permanent footing on the Manor of Albion. It is true a bold and desperate attempt to restore his Authority Avas made in the ensu ing Stewardship of the wretched Moll, Ned's sister. But happily that Stewardship, as it was the worst, Avas also the shortest, on the Records of the Manor; and the attempt not only proved abortive ; but by the horror it struck stands one of the strongest securites against Pe ter's ever again obtaining a footing on the Manor. 166 Book 4. ch. 10. Chap. X. Contents— The Stewardship of Moll the Atrocious— Moll recalls Peter, and attempts to establish all his influence and Authority, to effect which, the mostt shocking cruelties are practised — and numbers of the most pious and venerable persons on the Manor daily burnt alive to enforce it — The Death of the wretched Moll soon puts an end to these atrocities. We have already mentioned that the Stewardship of The steward the Manor of Albion is hereditary, and that to prevent the Atrocious disorder and disputes, Females as well as Males were capable of inheriting it ; and as it is always executed principally by Clerks and Agents, this occasioned no inconveniency. For however disgraceful this Steward ship of the wretched Molly may be thought, the Office has never been exercised with more vigour in the Stew ardship, or more honour and advantage to the Family, than under some Female Occupants. The late Ned having died young, and left no Heir of his body, was succeeded by his Eldest Sister Moll. This Damsel, the Daughter of Harry's first divorced Wife, had unfortunately been by her mother brought up in the most bigotted attachment to Peter, and the most absolute resignation to all his presumptuous, ab surd, and pernicious pretensions : all Avhich she incon tinent undertook to restore, and establish again on the Albion Manor. The two Harries, her father and grand father, had stretched the Pretensions and Authority of the Stewardship to the highest pitch, and far beyond its legitimate Claims ; and it still retained something of that tension and vigour they had given it. John Bull also had not yet assumed all that consciousness of his 167 own Right and Power which naturally belonged to him ; Book 4. ch. 10. and which he has since asserted, and established upon such firm foundations, that the boldest Steward dare not openly attack them ; however successful they may have been in secretly undermining them. From these favouring circumstances, Moll pro ceeded with considerable success in her design. Peter wUh'ai? his was recalled with all his Train ; and incited even be- Train- yond his own forwardness to assume all his former In fluence and PoAver ; and in the Steward's Household and Office this was immediately done. But in John Bull's Mother's House this could not be so easdy ef fected. Some grave, pious, and truly respectable per sons had, under the late Stewards, got the principal management of that Arenerable Lady's Affairs into their hands ; and as their Characters stood high with the Folk on the Manor, it might have been thought dan gerous to meddle with them. But Moll, of weak judg ment but impetuous zeal, was determined to stop at nothing ; and believing that the sacrificing these ve nerable persons would strike a terror into the rest, she caused under the sanction of Peter and his Agents, great numbers of them to be burnt alive in the public Market-place. But these shocking exhibitions had an effect directly contrary to what was intended. For the constancy and firmness they shewed amidst the Flames, in protesting against Peter and all his atrocious Prac tices, instead of inspiring terror, only excited indigna tion and resentment, and confirmed all persons in an invincible detestation of Peter and all that Avas con- 168 Book4. ch. 10. nected with so horrible a syste'm as Peterkinism, — So this system came now to be called. The scenes exhibited at this time were truly shock- Themost shock- ing; for daily in the streets and high-way might be in0' scenes of Cruelty ex- seen the Fires blazing, and the best and most pious and force6 the r'e- innocent persons on the Manor broiling alive in them. PePter°andh1sFor Moll, beside that contempt for the lives of the Imposetueres!d PeoPIe habitual to the Stewardical Character, had so entirely resigned both her understanding, and con science, and even her Humanity, to Peter and his Emissaries, that she was fully satisfied that whatever they approved or commanded must be pious and good. And as to Peter himself and his Initiated Abettors, they had so long entirely discarded every principle of Nature, and Humanity, that such scenes were perfectly familiar and indifferent to them. But happily these scenes were but of short conti nuance, and the unlamented death of this wretched Stewardess soon put an end to these horrours, to the universal satisfaction of John Bull's Family and all who lived on the Manor. 169 Chap. XI. Book4.ch.li. Contents — The Stewardship of Maiden Bess Moll succeeded by her sister Bess — a most excellent Stewardess — turns Peter and all his Pack once more out of doors— This Stewardship, though in the whole prosperous and happy, not altogether free from Alarm and danger — Lord Strut's Invincible Enterprize with its disastrous Catastrophe- Bess succeeded in the Stewardship by her Kinsman Jem Steward of the Caledonian Manor, whose mother, through jealousy both of he^ personal charms, and of her Pretensions lo the Albion Stewardship Bess had caused to be put to death — This the great Stain of Bess's Character and Stewardship. Moll having died Avithout Issue her younger sister Bess succeeded her. Who being known to have a Tl'e prosperous Stewardship determined, and by the mother's side hereditary, hatred of Maiden to Peter and his practices, had been by her sister kept shut up in an Old Castle, and Avas indeed in great dan ger of being added to the number of the victims of her relentless zeal. This Bess made a most excellent SteAvardess. Car ried Matters indeed Avith a sufficiently high hand ; but Avith such constant attention to the good condition and security of the Manor, and the quiet and prosperity of all Avho lived upon it, that at no period has John Bull's affairs been better managed, or his Family enjoyed more contentment and happiness, than under her long Stew ardship. No sooner Avas Bess settled in the Office, than Peter and all his Train were once more sent a packing, peter once never to return. This, indeed, was no difficult task to ac- "acking with complish; for so great and general Avas the horrour and a" hls 1'a'"° detestation excited by the scenes that had been exhibited in Moll's time, that their expulsion was universally ac ceptable, and every where aided and urged by the hatred and indignation of almost every person on the 170 Book 4. ch. 1 Manor. Thus did Moll with all her zeal for Peter- kenism contribute more to its expulsion, and entire ex tinction on the Manor of Albion, than even Bess and all its professed opposers have ever done. During this Stewardship the Bull Family enjoying peace and security, with a considerable degree of free dom of thought and enquiry, made great, though silent, advances in knowledge and Manners ; and especially in the knowledge of the true principles of the Steward ship, and the just relation between Steward Landlord and Tenant. And though under the present vigorous, frugal, and well-conducted Stewardship, there was no temptation to desire or attempt any material alteration ; yet were those principles fast advancing, Avhich soon after produced such great and important Effects. Bess was a gay gallant strapping Lass ; and though no beauty, had a sufficiently good opinion of her own Person to be pleased with exhibiting it in Public, by frequent excursions through the Manor : where her open and debonair countenance, affable manners, and courteous address, engaged all hearts and all tongues in her favour. And so far was she from catching at every pretence to extort Money from the Family and Tenants on the Manor, as the present practice is, that if on any real occasion she had got, or engaged, more than was necessary, instead of lavishing it on rapacious Clerks, Scriveners, and the Hangers-on of her office ; or in corrupting and debauching Mrs. Bull's Hous hold, she would candidly and honourably restore it to them again : adding, that she considered their Money as safe for her service, if she wanted it, in their pockets as in her OAvn. Not but that she kept Mrs. Bull's 171 Houshold Office in sufficient subjection; though they Book 4. th. li. were far from exhibiting that slavish, fawning, syco. phant servility, into which they are now fallen. But though this Stewardship was distinguished for frugality, prosperity, and good order ; yet did not the Family and Manor altogether escape threatening, and danger, during its continuance. Especially, that in corrigible Rogue Peter was incessantly exciting all the neighbours to trespass upon, and waste the Manor. And even, according to his usual presumption, pre tended to give it away to whoever chose to take pos session of it. But this, in Bess's hands, was a matter that few chose to meddle with. Phillip Lord Strut, Steward of the Manor of Iberia, however, having been married to Moll the former Stewardess, first pretended to court Bess. But Bess would have nothing to say to him. He then set up his own pretension to the Manor, on the footing of a Right conferred by Peter ; and having prepared an immense band of Lawyers Bailiffs and Banditti, he resolved to take forcible Possession; for which purpose he sent this band of Ruffians before him to gain an Entry, and make a Footing for him on the Manor, against his ar rival. We have already mentioned the insulated Situ ation of the Manor of Albion, and that it could only be approached from abroad by water. In this way then Phill prepared to make his Entry, and that with such parade, and assurance of Success, under the counte nance and encouragement of Peter, who had Blessed the whole Apparatus, and Stiled it the Invincible Enterprise, — that Phill considered Bess and Bull and all their Possessions as already at his disposal. z2 172 Book 4 ch. n. Qf an peopie jn the world John Bull's Family are the most expert, undaunted, and daring in all Water vincible En- Warfare ; and they Avere fully prepared to meet Phill's ifs^disas'trous lawyers; not one man of whom Avas ever able to set li6UC' a foot on the Manor. No sooner did they approach than Bess's People set upon them with such dexterity and resolution that some of their Barks were Sunk, others upset, and the poor Iberians might be seen sprawling about like drowning Puppies ; many of Avhom were actually drowned, and others taken up out of pity, and afterwards sent home to their Master to congratulate him on the glory and success of his Invincible Enterprise. But a great number of Phillip's Water-craft still remained, and kept hovering at a distance in hopes of being able on some dark night to land undiscovered ; and such a dark night they soon found to their cost ; for one blowing stormy night, as they all lay at their Anchors on the opposite Frank- land strand, and thought themselves perfectly secure, the Bull People, — having filled a number of old hulks with pitch, tar, tow, dry wood, and every thing that would most effectually take, or retain fire, beside a hundred barrels of Gunpowder ; and having in the day marked the place Avhere the Iberians lay, in the night got between them and the Avind, and approaching them silently and unseen, turned loose those hulks before the raging storm with trains already lighted, Avhich driven into the midst of them, burst forth with such sudden and terrible flames and fury, that it seemed as if all Hell Avas broken loose upon them. Numbers of them were instantly on fire, and blown to atoms with resist less destruction, others cut from their anchors, carrying ] (•¦> the flames Avith them, drove against, and grappled with Book 4 ch.u. those which Avere escaping. The whole presented such a scene of honour and destruction, as seen from the Al bion Shore, by the light the flames afforded, almost moved regret even in those Avho had kindled them. Thus ended Lord Strut's Irresistible Enterprise. And of more than five hundred sail of Water-craft of all kinds, scarce one returned to carry him the News of their Success. Phill, avIio Avas a person of great Sang froid, having kept himself out of harm's reach, shrugged up his shoulders, called Bess a Termagant, John Bull a Miscreant, * and the Manor of Albion a Bauble not worthy his regret ; and professed great thankfulness for the whole state of things. This Bess was the last immediate descendant of the Godgift Race of Stewards ; and it was doubtful how the Office Avould be disposed of at her decease. The nearest direct Claimant Avas Yagob High Steward of the Caledonian Manor. But both the two Stewards and the two Manors had frequently been at great variance ; Bess guilty of and there Avere doubts whether attempts would not be ble outrage made to alter the Succession. Bess had indeed been goi> her ap- guilty of Avhat might be thought an inexpiable Insult cmso"! "in and Outrage toAvard Yagob, in causing his Mother m"^"? tobe Molly, — who on some quarrel with the Folk of the P"' t0 death' Caledonian Manor, had retired to the Manor of Albion, and put herself under Bess's protection, — to be put to death. This is indeed the great stain and reproach of * Miscreant— This Word is probably to be understood here in its strict and Etymological sense — a Misbeliever, — as nothing in Ph ill's con ception could be more execrable than one who did not believe in all the Mummery of Peterkinism with the same implicit faith which, he him self professed, and exhibited. 174 Book 4. ch. n. Bess's Character and Stewardship; but which, as ft has been abundantly discussed by others, I shall enter no farther upon here. Luckily for Yagob, though his vanity and ambition were sufficiently high, and his estimation of the power and importance of the Stewardical Office and Cha racter almost boundless ; yet his pride and spirit were of a moderate pitch, and all his other passions of an easy and tractable nature. It was however impossible such an outrage, as Putting his Mother to Death, should not excite both indignation, and desire of Re venge : and Yagob at first talked in a very high strain, and threatened to excite heaven and earth in his ven geance. But alas ! like the Nightingale in the claws of the Kite, he found himself in the hand of one much his superior in all force and means. But Bess, being sensi ble she had done an atrocious and unjustifiable Action, was willing to make every possible apology. She wrote Yagob a soothing and exculpatory Letter, pre tending the thing had been done by the precipitancy of her Clerks and Servants in the Office without her knowledge, or design to carry it to such an extreme. Nay she even affected the most excessive grief for the event, put on mourning, and punished her servants in every way short of Death ; though they had done no thing but what Avas most acceptable to her, and most desired by her. For Avith respect to this affair, be side the pretence of public danger, and of exciting troubles on the Manor, and Factions in the Bull fa mily, imputed to Molly, there Avas much of female jea lousy and personal Rivalry in the case ; for Bess however pleased Avith her own person, and fond of admiration, 175 was no Beauty, and knew she coulJ stand innocompe- Book4.ch.ii. tition with Moll for personal charms ; who was universal 1 y admired, and allowed to be the greatest Beauty in all the country round ; and owed her hapless Fate per haps as much to her Fair Face as to her Foul Faults. Yagob's Passions Were, as we have said, of a tract able nature, and Bess having followed up her excul patory Letter, by a special Messenger and some valua ble presents, beside some hints about the succession, he soon felt disposed to suffer himself to be soothed. He considered further, that Bess was growing old while he himself was but just out of his boyish years, and was her immediate Heir, and by provoking her he might endanger his succession to the Albion Stewardship. In short, Yagob's resentment began io subside wonder fully soon. And Bess, beside perhaps some disposi tion to atone for the injury she had done, had at this time another powerful and selfish motive for earnestly endeavouring to sooth Yagob's Resentment. This Affair happened just before Lord Strut's attempt upon the Manor of Albion, an d had Yagob then retained his purpose of revenge, and joined Lord Strut, he might have done her a shrewd mischief, and even have en dangered the Safety of the Manor. From these causes and considerations on both sides, resentments soon subsided ; and for some time before Bess's decease, both the tAvo Stewards and the The aboye out_ two Families had been on a tolerable footing of friend- J^j,?' 'dlst shiu. And though Bess in her life time could never Succeedsqui- r ° etly to the bear the thought of a partner in her PoAver even in a Albion sten- 11 n ' ardship. husband, nor so much as to hear the mention ot a Suc cessor ; yet finding her End unavoidably approaching, 176 Book 4. ch. 12. she named her kinsman Yagob as the person she would wish to succeed her. This nomination being strictly conformable to the established order of succession, and perfectly agreeable to the wishes of the Bull Family, the Event took place Avithout the least opposition or trouble. This Event, however, was soon folloAved by a great change both in the spirit and vigour of the Stewardship, and in the Disposition and Character of the Possessors and Cultivators of the Manor. Chap. XII. Contents.— A Digression— to account for the high strain of authority with which the Stewardship had been exercised under the Godgift Line; to which some ignorantly , or perfid iously , affect to appeal as the genuine Character and Authority of the Stewardship — The causes of this high strain of Authority.— 1st. The depressed state of the Bull Family through long internal discord previous to the Accession of the God gift Line. 2d. The great vigour and capacity of the Stewards of that Line. 3d. That the Pressure of their Authority reached com paratively, only to a few — That Fiscal Rapacity which now affects every individual on the Manor being then unknown. It may not be amiss to pause a little here, and make A Digrefsion to some observations upon the last five Stewardships, in thehighstraia which the Power and Pretensions of the Office had been with which screwed up far beyond its original and natural Claims, ship wasBex- and to a pitch scarce exceeded by Guillam De Nor- theSeGodgieft world himself- And though the Compiler of these Me- Lme. moirs has allowed himself to be carried along Avith his 177 Subject, and may seem to have Avritten of the arbitrary Book 4. ch. 12. usurpations of the respective Stewards with as much patience and acquiescence as John Bull lived under them ; yet must he beg leave to put in a caveat against being thought either to approve, or palliate, such gross and palpable abuses ; such violent and unjust en croachments of the Steward upon the Rights of the Proprietor, or the Freedom and Privileges of the Denizens and Cultivators of the Manor. In speaking of Harry the Grandfather of the three last occupiers of the Stewardship, and the Root of the Godgift Family, we in some measure accounted for the patience and quietness with which the Bull Family suffered the yoke to be silently wreathed upon their Necks. But the subject may deserve a more particu lar discussion ; especially, as those who still favour the high pretensions of the Steward, and are for reducing John Bull and his Family to a mere Property, are apt to appeal to this Period. It is well known, that even to this day, there are some of John Bull's Family so ignorant of the true Digression Economy of the Manor, and Principles of the Steward ship, and so debased and degenerate in Spirit and Cha» racter, as to hold the opinion, and to glory in it,-^that the SteAvard does not belong to John Bull ; but that John Bull, his Family, his Manor, and all that he has, belong to the SteAvard. — Or, in other words, — That the Steward and Stewardship are not appendages to the Establishment of John Bull, for the better Management and Good Order of bis Manor and Family ; but that John Bull, his Family, and his Manor, are mere ap pendages to the Establishment of the Steward ; iri- A A 178 Book 4. ch. 12. tended wholely for his personal conveniency and splen dour ; and that the Avhole Economy of the Stewardship Absurd con-an(j Manor is to be referred solely to this End. — And eeption of •' *|je s'.e.ward- even at this day, these are, though not the professed, tertained by yet the clear and decided Principles of the Steward's Bull Famiiy.Office. And no one who does not thoroughly comply with them in practice, can be permitted long to retain any place in that Office, or any appointment dependant upon the SteAvardship. Of this the Family have had sufficient experience in the course even of the present so happy and prosperous Stewardship— For Instance- On a particular occasion, one of the most able, honest, And strenuous- and faithful, of the Steward's special advisers, having, lv abetted . ' l ' s' by the stew- m the custom of the Family, given for a Toast — as " they call it, — John Bull Master of his own Manor* — when this came to the Steward's ears, it is said, he or dered the Register of Special Advisers to be brought to him, and with his own hand struck the obnoxious Name out of the List. This, if a Fact, needs no comment — And if other Avise; — the eagerness of the Tools of the Office to publish it vauntingly over the whole Manor, shews plainly what are the principles approved there.— Now these, and all who maintain such absurd and per nicious opinions as have been mentioned, are apt to pretend to sanction their abject debasing and pernicious principles, by referring to the Period we have just dis cussed . But beside, that at the commencement of this pe riod the Spirit of the Family was quite broken and de pressed by its disasters, and the devastation of the Estate during the long contest of the Longcampetrists * The Sovereignty of the People— by Mr. F— x.— Pret. Com. 179 and Eorkists, — there were circumstances both in the Book 4. ch. 12 personal characters of, the Stewards, and in the Exercise of the Stewardship at that time, Avhich tended to qualify its arbitrary Spirit ; and even while they favoured the easier introduction of this high strain of Authority, prevented its immediate, and most ruin ous effects. — Self-confidence, vigour, and decision, Digression strongly characterized all the Stewards of the Godgift cont'nue ¦ Family, the two Harries and Bess especially. And not only did the natural vigour of their Characters enable them to carry their high Pretensions into effect on the depressed Family ; but they did it with that judgement and discretion, that it seemed neither greatly to affect, nor alarm John Bull and the Folk in general on the Manor; to few of whom the immediate effects of their measures extended.— -Had they and their Agents been such drivelling Tools as Ave have lately seen conduct ing the. Affairs of the Manor — or had their rapacity reached, as it now does, to every one who has a shilling to be seized upon;— either the Family must have ar rested their course, or destruction must have been more swift, though probably less sure and lasting, than that under which the Family is now sinking. Yet it cannot be supposed, that even the capacity and prudence of those Stewards could long have pre served the Family from falling into the same abject and slavish condition with those of the neighbouring Man ors, had not the Tenants and Cultivators of the Estate, soon after the period which we have just dismissed, as sumed Spirit enough to arrest the encroaching hand of the Steward. Had not the whole Family thus aroused themselves, and shewed their determined resolution to be no longer a Property to the Steward, there can be no> aa2 180 Booki. ch. 12. doubt but John Bull, his Family, and. Manor, woilld at this time have been in the same condition, that the Franks, the Frogs, the Iberians, and the Folk of every other Family and Manor on Terrafirm now are. — And let the Bull Family keep in mind — that they owed this Preservation, and their Present State ; and ever must owe such Preservation, and the Continuance of that State, entirely to themselves ; not only without any aid, or voluntary acquiescence of the Steward's Office, but in defiance of all its arts and efforts to the contrary. And let the present Stewardical Family acknow ledge — that it is to this'very resistance to the Will and Designs of the Steward's Office that they originally owed their Possession of the Stewardship ; and at this time do OAve the Stability of tlieir Station, so different from the rivals of their Rank on Terrafirm. At the commencement of the period we have just discussed, the Tenantry on the Estate had been so much harrassed and Avorn out by the long contest be- Jjigression tAveen the Longcampster and Eorkist Faction, that they were glad to enjoy a little repose. And Avhile the arbitrary and usurping Spirit of the Stewardship ex tended but to few, and was principally felt only by rich individuals, or particular Establishments, whose. wealth was worth seizing, it caused no great alarm. That .effeminate Luxury, that boundless Profusion, that all-wasting Extravagance, which now extends tha Rapacity of the SteAvard's Office to every inhabitant of the Manor, and demands, and devours in a few hands, the whole wealth and substance of the Family, did not then exist. Whilst thus the Folk on the Manor in ge neral felt little of the encroaching hand of the Steward, they were willing to sit quiet. And fatally for the 181 Stewards, this quietness encouraged them to proceed ; Boolt 4 Kb' a' and seeming to indulge their encroachments, led them on to their OAvn Destruction, and thatof the Stewardship. Yet Avas not even this period without its influence and effect toAvards evolving the right principles of the SteAvardship, and ascertaining its subordination to the Laws and Customs of the Manor, and the Security and Prosperity of the Dwellers upon it. In consequence of the expulsion of Peter and his Train, who had so long held the people blindfolded, light and freedom of thought had silently diffused themselves OArer the Manor. And Avhile the Stewards were feared, flattered, and implicitly submitted to, by those about them, a set of more generous and exalted Spirits, conscious of the Natural Rights of Man, and the legitimate principles of Stewardical Authority, had sprung up. And these had conceived, and cherished in silence, those princi ples of Justice, Freedom, and Reason, which have hi therto preserved John Bull, his Family, his Manor, and all who live upon it — Have preserved them, in the first instance— from that debasement and vassaalge into Avhich the Folk on all the Neighbouring Manors are fallen — and in the second instance,— from that Ruin and Destruction under Avhich they now lie ; the natural effect and consequence of that Debasement of Spirit and Character. These principles are, it is true, now detested, re- The peraicioaj probated, and execrated, by all who have any connec- and ethreat- tion with the Steward's Office ; and the very suspicion I" "there of them is a sufficient disqualification for any Employ- ^Affaire"™ ment, Office, or Trust, dependent on the Stewardship. And yet must these principles be revived, and called again iuta action, or John Bull, his FamUy, the Manor 182 Book 4. ch. 12. of Albion with all upon it, and even the Stewardship it self, must fall a sacrifice to the want of them. And all this, it appears, will be brought about by means and in struments the weakest, the most unworthy, seemingly the most contemptible, that ever effected such an im portant and interesting Event. Indeed it is in the seeming contemptibleness of the means, the weaknes and insignificancy of the Instruments and Agents, that the danger consists ; for hence it excites no alarm, creates no fear, is not even suspected or guarded against. Yet many a noble tree that has stood the storm for ages, has beeri ruined by a single worm at its core. And it is a known fact, that some large Islands have been de solated by the most contemptible of all Insects, the puny Ant. Of this Event the danger is the more threatening —that Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office, which exists for the express purpose of supporting and protecting the Freedom and Rights of the Family, and especially to check the too profuse lavishing of the Money of the Folk on the Manor ; by whom exclusively its members ought to be chosen, — that this Houshold Office, — in consequence of that commerce of Prostitution carried on between it and the Steward's Agents — is not only become the chief instrument to betray those Rights, and that Freedom ;^ and has not only lavished the Money of the Folk with a profusion and extravagance that could by no other means have been effected, — but has of late openly professed itself hostile to those principles of Freedom and Economy ; and has imprisoned, and punished, the most faithful and upright of its OAvn members, for endeavouring to maintain those Principles, and prove his fidelity to those by whom he is intrusted. BOOK V. Chap. I. Contents. — The Stewardship of Yagob the first of the Caledonian Line- Succeeds with great acclaim — This Yagob has imbibed high notions of the Stewardical Office and Character— but proves feeble in its Exer cise. — This Stewardship being entirely free from Quarrels and Law suits, the Folk on the Manor make great advances in Wealth, Spirit, and freedom of thought, under it. On the death of Bess an important event, as we have The steward- said, took place, attended with great and lasting conse- ^ fhfe J*[ quences. By her decease the whole descendants of f0^nUue" the Male line of the Godgift Family were extinct, and the succession to the Stewardship of course vested in the oldest branch of the Female Line. Now the eldest daughter of Harry, the first of that Family, had been mar ried to Yagob the Caledonian Steward, and her Great Grandson, of the same name, noAV held the Stewardship. And notAvithstanding the frequent quarrels and jealou sies that had long subsisted between the Families both of Landlords and Stewards,— Bess having named Yagob 184 Bookfi.ch.i. as her successor, he acceeded not only Avithout opposi tion, but with great and general acclaim, to the Stew- Sugreeaetds AcH-ardshiP of tbe Albion Manor. claim> This Yagob was rather an honest well meaningman, but of no great capacity. He had however formed very high notions of the Dignity and Importance of the Stewardical Office and Character. But though Character of lofty in his pretensions, and conception of the Impor- this Steward J _f /.,.«. , . i , . . , and stew-tance and Power of his Station, he was indolent, timid, and weak, in the Exercise of it: and in his manners and personal Character he was low, mean, and border ing on vulgarity ; a constant dupe to his prejudices, and partialities, often for the most unworthy objects ; and entirely void of the vigor and decision of his Predeces sors of the Godgift Family. HoAvever this Stewardship, of considerable conti nuance, was entirely a period of peace and quietness, free from all violent quarrels and Lawsuits, either with the Neighbours, or among themselves within the Ma nor ; and hence, though far from popular, was perhaps the most prosperous and happy for the Cultivators and Inhabitants in general, that the Records of the Manor present. Especially as it was under it that the Folk jn general first acquired, and assumed, the conscious* ness of their own Importance and Rights, and became fully sensible of the natural subordination of the Stew ardship and Stewardical Character to the Control of the Lord, and the Interest and Happiness of the Holders and Cultivators of the Manor. s A certain Steward once asked some people of Busi ness how he could best serve and assist them — " Just let us alone — said they. This is perhaps the most de» 185 sireable Maxim that could be adapted by Stewards in Book 5. ch. l. general. " Eat your Pudding, Sir, and hold your Tongue" — is certainly no unreasonable injunction,— especially where the Pudding is so plentifully plummed as that which John Bull alloAvs his Steward. As, the world goes, he is a good Steward who lives within his Allowance, hinders no good, and docs no great harm. And this is indeed the highest praise to which Yagob could make any pretensions. And would to God ! some, on whom great acclaim has been most prepos terously lavished, could fairly pretend to so much. But though the Bull Family made greater advances , in Wealth, Wisdom, and Spirit, under this, than under any former Stewardship ; yet to this day the Memory of neither the SteAvard nor Stewardship are held in much estimation by John Bull or his Family. The truth is the Squire was in his younger days a bold character of rattling dashing FelloAV. And though a more mature ardship. age, and sounder judgment has somewhat abated his fire ; yet John still likes a little to be heard of, to live with some eclat, and make some Figure in the World. And this his Family and Fortune — if not most villain ously abused — .give him a good right to do. Had his SteAvards and their Agents been faithful, frugal, and wise, he might have challenged a competition with the best in the Country, with perfect security both to his Fortune and Honour. Both which, for Avant of these qualifications in the Steward's Office, have often been on the very brink of Ruin ; and only saved by the in terposition of the Family. Thus while Yagob's indolence and aversion to Quar- < rels and Lawsuits permitted the Folk on the Manor to 186 Book 5. ch, 2. be quiet and easy, and the Expences of the Steward ship were supplied by moderate contributions from the Tenants and Freeholders on the Manor, they found themselves perfectly at leisure to cultivate and improve those Principles of Freedom, Equity, and Legitimate Economy, which become John Bull ; now assured that his Manor belonged to himself,— and the Family, now conscious that the Lands they cultivated were their own. These Principles had been planted and taken root during some preceding Stewardships, and having now grown up in silence and unmarked — occulta velflt arbor cevo — have since produced the most noble and beneficent Fruits. Chap. II. Contents The Stewardship of the first Carlos. — The Bull Family after a long and severe Pupilage now arrived at full maturity of Age, Vigour, and Understanding — Carlos, with the same high notions of Stewardical Importance which his Father professed, affects also a great deal of Personal Dignity and Stateliness, and attempts a more vigourous and severe Exercise of the Stewardship— regardless of the Palaverium, to which alone it belongs to raise contributions on the Manor, Carlos under the most cruel punishments extorts money whereever he thinks it is to be found— dissolves Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office for remonstrating, and makes no secret of his design to be abso lute Master both of the Persons and Property of every one on the Manor. We arc now come to that period when the Bull Fa- 'th^first liar- muV after a l°ng minority, under sometimes a severe los. Pupilage, might be said to be arrived at full maturity, 187 gins to take some cogni zance of the conduct of his Steward. not only of age and strength, but also of education and Book 5. ch.2. understanding. And though John had. no intention, or wish to alter the Stewardship, or to encroach upon the legitimate Functions or Appointments of the Steward's Office ; yet being conscious he had a right to enquire John Bull be into the conduct of his Steward in the affairs of the Manor, and to regulate and prescribe bounds to the Authority, Exercise, and Expence, of the Stewardship, he now determined to take upon himself some cogni zance of these matters. In Yagob's time symptoms of this disposition had manifested themselves, and a little jarring had taken place in consequence. But Yagob was now succeeded by his only Son Carlos ; who, with the same lofty no tions of the importance of his Station and Office that his Father had, affected also a great deal of personal Dignity and Stateliness. With these ideas on his part, and the determination to take cognizance of, and have a control over, his OAvn affairs, on the part of the Squire, it was almost impossible it should be long before they came to an issue. John Bull's Family having now, as we have said, arrived at a high degree of improvement and know ledge, produced a number of persons of great capacity, and of a free and independent Spirit. These boldly set themselves to vindicate the Rights of their Family, and to oppose the high pretensions of the Steward. It is the appropriate province of Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office, especially of the Lower Chamber, to regulate the Expences and Disbursements of the Family and Manor ; and these distinguished Characters, as peculiarly quali fied, generally obtained a situation in that Office : for at bb2 188 Book b. eh. 2. this time Mrs. Bull's Houshold were really chosen by the Folk on the Manor ; and that intercourse of Prostitution between the Steward's Office and Mrs. Bull's Hotfs- hold, so notorious and infamous at this day, was then unknown ; hence Carlos found his high pretensions greatly checked by the freedom, firmness, and abilities, of these persons. Though from Guillam Norworld to the accession of the Godgift Family, John Bull has made great and successful efforts for the recovery of his Rights out of the hands of his usurping Stewards ; yet through the influence of antient Custom, and the arbitrary Spirit of the Godgift Race, some most un just and enormous pretensions and practices had still been kept up ; and others, which had been most so lemnly renounced by the Great Roll and other sanc- CaHos, instead tions, had been insensibly resumed, and again brought of being dis- ' . J , i- i posed to give into practice. And Carlos seemed much more disposed or "submit to to set up neAv Claims, and make further encroachments, setsfupciaimsthan to relinquish any of those of his Predecessors, and sions beyond this soon brought matters to extremity between them. all his "P tlecessuFs. il" One of the first subjects upon which the Parties began to jar, was, the levying, for the general Expence of the Steivardship and Manor, a certain alloAvance proportioned to the Weight and Price, upon all goods brought into, or carried out of the Manor, for Sale ; Weightageand hence called Weightage and Priceage. This alloAv- '""'"• ance it was customary for the Palaverium, on their meeting after the Accession of a new Steward, to grant, some times for a limited period, some times for the whole of his Stewardship ; but Carlos in his high no tions of his Station and Office disdained to ask, or wait for this grant ; but proceeded to exact, and levy the 189 Contributions, as of his own Right, and by his oAvn Book 5. ch.2. Authority ; a claim which none of his predecessors, not even of the Godgift Race, had ever pretended io. Another pretence under which Carlos attempted to extort money from the Tenants and Holders on the Estate, Avas, that of providing Watercraft, or Vessels for the defence of the Manor by Water, with which, as has been said, it was every Avhere surrounded ; and from Avhich it derived many and great advantages, both Avith respect to Trade and Defence. And it has long been very properly John Bull's Policy and Pride to maintain an unrivalled Superiority in Watercraft and all nautical Affairs. And John's People bred in this way are beyond all dispute, both the most skilful, and the bravest and most intrepid men in the world. — The money levied for this purpose was called Naval- Navalgiit. gill ; and no Expense was so readily voted by the Pa laverium. — Under pretence then of Navalgiit, or pro viding for this Avater-Avarfare, Carlos assumed the Right of demanding, and compelling the Payment, of what sums of money he pleased, and from whom he pleased, Avithout any consent asked, or given, from the Palaverium. Some submitted, and paid this demand, to avoid Avorse consequences ; others resisted it as an un just and illegal usurpation of the Steward, and resolved to take every consequence rather than sanction such a dangerous Practice by their compliance. And those Carlos imi"'~ & J r sons and pu- who did so, Carlos, by a still more gross and illegal nishes at , . pleasure all abuse of power, in defiance of the express terms of the who refuse to submit t" Great Roll, imprisoned at his pleasure, without any his usuri>a- Sanction or form of Law, and kept them confined as tions. 190 Sookich. 2. long as he chose, or even for life ; and several really died under this durance. — There was no object for which the Bull Family were at all times more ready to contribute their money, than this for which Navalgiit was nominally demanded, but the money demanded under this name at this time, was not really to be ap plied particularly to this purpose, more than any other ; it Avas merely a pretence of the Steward to extort mo ney from the Folk on the Manor. — Nor was it for the value of the money that the resistance was made, but on account of the evil precedent and the illegal autho rity, by Avhich it was demanded without the sanction of the Palaverium ; to which it exclusively belongs to grant, and prescribe, the Levying of all money to be contributed by the Folk on the Manor. But not content with these pretences to extort mo- Compeis pre-ney> Carlos proceeded further to demand it by direct tended L)ansvj0ience from every one who he thought had any, un- Gifts never jer tlie name, indeed, of a Loan or Free Gift ; though intended to ' ' ° \>e paid,— nothing could be more contrary to either, — it being a and where ° _ . no freedom Loan that Avas never intended to be paid, and a Free was Ipft to give or ic-Gift, in which no freedom or choice Avas left to the giver, or any safety either for his person or propertj-, if he refused. It will easily be supposed, that with the conscious ness of his oavu Rights, and that independant spirit he had now assumed, together with the Knowledge, Free dom, and Firm Character, which now distinguished the Inhabitants of the Manor of Albion. — John Bull could not long submit to such treatment; to see his Tenants, his Family, and the people on the Manor in 191 general,,— who, as we have said, Avere mostly descend- Books. ch.2. ants of his own Family — so insulted, oppressed, and pillaged ; and that by his own SteAvard. The Palaverium, or Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office, as the appropriate depositary of the Purse, and Au ditory of all Accounts, had begun even in Yagob's time to remonstrate against the profusion with which the property of the Family was lavished upon ill-chosen, and unworthy subjects; and for this freedom, even then, some who had been most faithful and forward to mark these abuses were seized upon, and sent to prison by the Steward. But Carlos, from his first entrance on the Stewardship, set no bounds to his pretensions, nor made any secret of his design to be Master both of the Family and their fortunes. Mrs. Bull, therefore, found it necessary, with the Approbation of her Hus band and Family, to come to a determined resolution to resist, and repel, those claims, demands, and usur pations. The Palaverium began by remonstrating seriously, The p^iave. and firmly, against the taking Weightage and Priceage Appropriate by Carlos without their consent, which none of his finniylonBtip- Predecessors had ever done. And though the demands £>"gnts of '/„! of Loans, and Free Gifts, had some times before, in IamilJ- extreme cases been made, Carlos had carried it to a greater excess than had ever before been done; and that without the pretence of any particular case of ne cessity. In consequence of these remonstrances — ac cording to a right belonging to the Steward, Mrs, Bull's Are dismissed- mitt r(j-(jho~ Houshold Office was dissolved and all her faithful sen. Domestics turned out of doors by Carlos. But though tlie Right of dismissing Mrs. Bull's Houshold resided 192 Book 5. ch. 2. with the Steward, the Right of re-choosing it rested in disputably with the Family and the Folk on the Manor. A NeAV Houshold, accordingly, were soon Chosen, and Assembled; consisting mostly of the very same indi viduals that had composed the last. As Mrs. Bull's New Houshold consisted of nearly Meet, mostly the same individuals as the former, it soon appeared, Men, and in that they brought with them also the same spirit, the Mind, as same determined resolution to check the presumption ceMoisPrcde"of the Steward; and to make him sensible that he be longed to John Bull, and not John Bull to him. During the dispersion of Mrs. Bull's Houshold, the Steward had still continued to exact Weightage and Priceage, to extort Navalgiit, as of his OAvn Right, and to imprison and punish at his own will, those who re fused to pay. Of course Mrs. Bull's Office had no sooner met, than they took this matter into considera- Are again dis- tion j and determined firmly to oppose it. And the SteAvard no sooner heard how they Avere proceeding, than he again turned them out of doors, and sent them a packing; Avithout permitting them to finish any bu siness whatever. But in the present temper of John Bull, and dis position of the Family, Carlos began to be sensible tliat it might be dangerous to set them quite at defiance. And though that infamous Commerce of Prostitution, Avhich noAV gives the Steward the entire command of The fir>t in- j\jrs. Bull's Houshold Office, Avas not theiiiknoAvn, and stance of traitorous both Parties Avould have spurned at the attempt ; yet with the Pa- Carlos did try, and not Avithout some success, to tamper a little Avith a few of the Leading domestics in Mrs. Bull's Houshold, And by pretending to make great 193 account of their abilities, and bestoAving upon them Books. ch.2. valuable and important Places and Appointments in his own Houshold and belonging to his OAvn Office, he drew over to his side some even of his most vigorous opponents. In this manner particularly, he gained over one Wantworth. This man had been one of the first to comprehend, and boldest to assert, 'the true and natural Dignity and Rights of the Family to which he belonged. And being a person of extensive capacity, and endowed with much firmness and strength of Mind, and an able Speaker, he had become one of the most Leading men in Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office, and the most strenuous opposer of all the Steward's enormous Pretensions. , To rid himself of such an Opponent, was certainly Avorthy of Carlos's utmost efforts ; to bring one of such Wantworth— a J . singular in- pnnciples, with such abilities, over to his side, Iioav- stance of the success of the ever much to be desired, might seem an Attempt be- first attempt yond all hope, or proposal. Yet certain it is, both Mrs. Bull'* were most completely accomplished. "' "" This is, I think, one of the first palpable instances of apostacy, and treachery against the Family, exhi bited in Mrs. Bull's Office; and even at this day when such instances are so common, must appear extraordi nary ; and stands a singular proof of the want of all Principle in many persons of that Station and Charac ter. And the fate which followed it, may now be reckoned no less singular; for it cost him his Head. His fate, com- A fate, which, it is much to be regretted, has not fol- present times, lowed every one of the Family Avho has since acted the g°ia!^s !,u" same part. Had it done so,— ho w many thousand lives might it have saved. Instead of Avhich, such conduct cc 194 Book 5. ch.2. is now the surest and shortest road to wealth and ho« nour; such honour, as stewards can confer, and traitors enjoy. But though Wantworth's apostacy proved fatal to himself, it was of little advantage to Carlos. Mrs. Bull's Office was not then, as noAV, the mere Tool of the Steward's Tools ; and the business of the Office was at that time conducted with so much unanimity, so much firmness, and so well supported by the sentiments of the Family in general, that instead of giving way to Carlos' usurped Pretensions, they determined to make a direct attack upon them. However troublesome Mrs. Bull's remonstrances and interruptions might be Mrs. Bull's Of- to Carlos ; yet, as the allowing of all disbursements, Med— Their and the Right of raising Money upon the Folk in ge- severant^pi- neral, must confessedly originate in that office, he durst d'ucjnd con" not venture to go on in direct defiance of its Sanction. Another Houshold was therefore assembled. And now, they did not content themselves with merely remon strating against the exercise of the Steward's High and Usurped Pretensions, but insisted upon an express re nunciation of them. In order to give force to any New Law or ordi nance, and to establish its Authority over all ranks and conditions of persons on the Manor, it was necessary that it should have the deliberate approbation of both Chambers of Mrs. Bull's Office, and be confirmed by the express sanction of the Steward. We have, I be lieve, already intimated that Mrs. Bull's Office con sisted of two chambers, called from their situation in the Building in which it was held, the Upper and the Lower Chamber. The Upper Chamber consists of. 195 certain Honourable Persons, generallyantientBranchesBookS. ch.?. of the Family, and possessed of considerable Demesns, who have an hereditary right to constitute a part of Mrs. Bull's Office, and to advise and counsel the Stew ard upon all occasions. The Lower Chamber con sists, as has been said, of certain persons chosen by the Folk on the Manor, to Represent them, and support their Interests in the Palaverium. Chap. III. Contents. — Carlos re-assembles Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office — they meet in the same remonstrating Spirit — Present to Carlos a Deed in writ ing which they call A Claim of Rights setting forth their just and na tural Rights and Privileges — and demand his express and formal sanc tion for them, and practical compliance with them — Its principal Provisions — Carlos labours to elude the sanctioning this Deed— is at last obliged to comply— but when done, pays no regard to his own sanction — the Palaverium again remonstrate in strong terms — he seizes, punishes, and sends to prison for life, some of its most distin guished Members — again dissolves Mrs. Bull's Office — and proceeds openly to set all the Rights, Laws, and Customs of the Manor, at de fiance — Some instances of atrocious Punishments ordered, and in flicted, by Carlos' Authority. No sooner then was this New Houshold met than they drew up a Writing to the folloAving purport, to be pre sented to the Steward for his sanction ; which they called A Claim op Rights. In this, they expressly claim of claimed, and demanded, as their just and natural 's ls' Rights and Privileges. cc2 196 Book b. ch.3. I. That no Loan, Levy, or Contribution, what ever, should be raised upon the Family or Folk on the Manor, but by the Consent and express sanction of Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office. II. That no man should be imprisoned, arrested, Its Principal or restrained of his Natural Liberty, but by due Pro- Articles, n -.r cess, and Sentence in the open Courts of the Manor. III. That no permission should be granted by the Steward to the Clerks and Scriveners of his Office, to hold Courts, call Persons before them, and give judg ment by peculiar Process and Maxims of their own, independent of the Laws and Customs of the Manor. A most pernicious and shameful practice, which had lately gained footing. This Instrument, containing these with some other less important articles, they called a Claim of Rights, to imply, that they asked no Fa vour or Indulgence of the Steward, but only what was the just and undoubted Right of every Inhabitant on the Manor of Albion. To these and some other Pri vileges, amounting to a full AcknoAvledgment of their Natural Freedom and Rights, presented by both Chambers of Mrs. Bull's Office, they demand the Steward's express consent, and sanction. And that this Instrument should stand one of the established and inviolable Laws of the Manor. This just Demand Carlos endeavoured to elude by every mode that he could devise ; he even made some apology for his past conduct, and declared that he did not exact Weightage and Priceage as of Right in him as SteAvard, but, as what might be conducive to the general good. And he now requested that it might be granted to him, as it had been to his Predecessors. • 197 And he endeavoured to evade their claim of Rights by Book 5. ch.3. an Equivocal Answer, not in the usual terms in which the Steward's sanction was always expressed in order to give the force of Law. All these evasions served to confirm the too well-grounded suspicions of ill-design and intended deception. But the men he had now to deal Avith were too keen, and too capable, to be duped by evasions ; they stood firm to their point. And Carlos having heard that they were preparing a strong Remonstrance against all his arbitrary Usurpations and Practices, — thought fit to go to the Palaverium and give his full sanction to their demands in the usual Sanctioned by form, implying — that every thing should be done as was desired. And this Deed, or Instrument, stands to the present day one of the Essential Foundations of the Freedom and Privileges of the Bull Family. It may perhaps occur to the Reader, that this Claim of Rights contains nothing more than what was already either expressly, or by plain implication, se cured by the Great Roll, so often referred to, — and in deed no more than what is the indisputable Right of every society, and individual, who has not forfeited, or betrayed, his Natural Rights. This is no doubt very true. But such is the constant propensity, and practice, of Stewards and all who act under them, to usurp upon all Rights ; and to neglect, elude, or contemn, all sanctions, obligations, or restraints, laid upon them, that the Great Roll Avas now in a manner altogether forgotten, or disregarded in the high Pretensions of the Steward ; so that this renewed sanction was at this time very necessary, and a great acquisition. 198 Book 5. ch.3. But though Carlos was obliged to swallow this dosej his stomach could not well digest it; and violent efforts were made to throw it up again. After the full sanctioning of this Claim of Rights, the Palaverium granted to Carlos such a supply of Cash as was thought necessary for the present occasion. But, as he had presumed to exact Weightage and Priceage, it was thought proper still to keep that point in reserve. And Carlos, in direct contempt of his im- Pa^!rd"t„ {^mediate renunciation by the Claim of Rights, still °wr^sancUoncontiniie(| to exact it by his own Authority; not, he. went it is Said, as of Right, but as expedient ; and yet he pro ceeded to punish all who refused to pay. The Pala verium once more set itself to remonstrate against this and many other Grievances and usurpations in the Ex» ercise of the Steward's Office. Mrs. Bull even caused the Bailiffs and Officers who had levied these contribu tions, to be brought before her, in her Houshold Office, and threatened to punish them. Upon this Carlos sent a message to declare that what the Bailiffs and Officers did, was by his express Order. This was far from mending the matter. Mrs. Bull was no more disposed to give up her Family to be oppressed, or her Husband's Estate to be wasted, by the Steward himself, than by his Officers and Agents ; nay, the higher the authority pretended, the more dangerous the precedent. Mrs. Bull also on this occasion remonstrated against some partiality and indulgence that had lately been shewn in the Steward's Office to the Emissaries of that old Rogue Peter. The truth is, Carlos had married the Sister of Lewis Baboon, a family always 199 devoted to Peter and his Maxims. This Family had Books. ch.3. indeed usurped the absolute Possession of Jean Frank's Manor, and by the intrigues of two unprincipled Some Alarms 7 J ° / r and Remon- pragmatical Priests,* in the Character of Major Domos, strances a- had reduced the whole Family to Vassalage, and of kinism, thro' , ii- j . j the influence course was strongly disposed to countenance and en- 0f the stew- courage all such usurpations and pretensions, on every k\„ wife, other Manor in the country. This Marriage, with the i,ewU '"bu- propensity to Peterkinism which it imported into the bootu SteAvard's Family, Avas indeed one of the principal causes of the ruin of Carlos, and the final expulsion of his Family, as we shall see, from the Stewardship, and Manor of Albion. For as the principles of Peterkin ism require the entire renunciation of all private and personal opinion, judgment, and right, to one absolute Authority, which is in Peter himself ; maxims so con genial to those of Carlos' own could not but be very favourably looked upon in the Steward's Office. And the Lady having bargained for the free indulgence of Peterkinism for herself and her domestics ; the effect of such indulgence did not fail to diffuse itself in some degree over the whole Manor. The LoAver Chamber of Mrs. Bull's Office having drawn up a strong Remonstrance, and Protest, upon all these subjects of Complaint and Grievance, they desired their Chairman according to custom to, read it in the Office. When, to their utter astonishment, he told them, he durst not — that the Steward had abso lutely commanded him not to dare to read it. This A singular Vi- . . t, . ., olationofthe was an unprecedented intrusion upon tne Privileges of Freedom of Mrs. Bull's Office, and the Freedom of the whole Fa- office. * C— rd— Is R— ch— u, and M— z— r— n.— Pret. Com. 200 Book 5. ch.3. mily whom they represented ; and excited the utmost indignation and resentment. The Chairman seeing the disposition of the Office, endeavoured to quit the Chair, but was held in it till the Remonstrance was read by another. — This instrument declared particu larly, — that whoever should attempt to introduce the Principles and Maxims of Peterkinism on the Manor, or, whoever should demand, or pay, Weightage and Priceage, without the express Authority of Mrs. Bull's Office, should be held an Enemy and a Traitor to the Family. Accounts of these proceedings had reached Carlos ; and in a great passion, he sent to them his Head Bai liff, armed with his Staff of Office, and a thundering Reprimand for their insolence. But those were not men to be frighted with bugbears and baubles ; the —as singularly Bailiff arrived at the door while their Remonstrance resisted. and Protest was reading, and there they held him fast, till it was finished ; and adjourning themselves to another fixed day, they immediately broke up their meeting ; and left him to deliver his thundering Mes sage to the empty benches. The Steward seemed now to have lost all moderation and reason. He ordered several of the Leading Members of Mrs. Bull's Office to be seized, and brought before the Clerks and Scriv eners of his Office, to ansAver for their Conduct in their Mistress' House ; but they disdained to give any ac count to snch pretended Judges ; holding themselees answerable, in their capacity of Mrs. Bull's Domestics, to none but their Mistress or the Squire himself: to whom they were all ultimately accountable. Upon this, they were all sent to the strongest Castle on the 201 Manor; which was consigned to the Steward's hands Book 5. ch.3. for the security and punishment of the Greatest Of fenders against the Public Safety. Carlos then went to the other Chamber of Mrs. Bull's Office, and complaining violently of what he called the insolence of the Lower Chamber, told them, by way of apology, that such behaviour obliged him to Mrs- Bull's dismiss the Avhole set of them. The Avhole were ac- once more cordingly dismissed, and Mrs. Bull's Houshold once more dissolved. Carlos noAV began openly to set all the Rights of the Family and all LaAvs and Customs of the Manor at defiance, and to acknowledge no Rule or Restraint but his own. will. And, seemed in spite of Reason and Common Sense, to think that would carry him through, against the firm determination of the Family, and all the force and poAver of the people on the Manor. And that he might find no check or interruption from Mrs. Bull's quarter, he kept her long without any Houshold Establishment Avhatever, as a mere private Mistress of a Family. And not content with this, he had numbers of the Members of Mrs. Bull's late Houshold Office, who had most faithfully discharged their duty, and most firmly opposed his usurpations, seized, and brought imprisons and before a Court entirely of his own constituting, and some of the directly contrary to all the legitimate Institutions, and fXof Mrs" allowed modes of Proceeding, on the Manor. And ^ H™]: though they denied the Authority of this Court, and T0fttc\^ 'demanded to be brought before one constituted accord- ^If'^0 ing to the LaAvs of the Manor, and either convicted, or Jjpned by discharged ; as a privilege expressly established by the Great Roll, and reneAved and confirmed by the Claim 202 Book 5. ch.3. of Rights so lately sanctioned by Carlos himself;— no regard was paid to their appeal : and they were sen tenced to pay enormous and arbitrary fines, and to lie in prison during the Steward's pleasure : and some of them, persons of great distinction, really died in prison. The fate of this wretched infatuated Steward has vulgarly been censured and regretted ; it has even been affected to represent him as a Victim or Martyr of Piety and Justice. But when his determined Tyranny, Per fidy, and constant contempt and violation of all Law, Justice, and Right ; as well as of every principle of Honour and Truth, are impartially considered, his Fate cannot justly excite either much Censure, or Regret. But as the Court in which the above arbitrary Prosecutions took place was itself of one of the grossest, The niegaiand most palpable usurpations of the Stewardship, and ry Conrt of was at this time so much had recourse to, it may be tor" Ia ' proper here to give some account of its Origin, Con stitution, and mode of Proceeding. This Court, from the place where it Avas held, was- called the Star-hall, — why so called, Authors are not agreed, nor is it any thing to the purpose. It had its origin in those times when the Usurpation of the Stewards was carried to the greatest excess j and had especially gained footing under the arbitrary exercise of the Godgift Family. Constitution & It was composed of Solicitors, Clerks, Scriveners, Pa- the Court of rasites, Sycophants, and all the Hangers-on and De- star-haii. pendants 0f foe Steward's Office. Its Object was, to give some colour of sanction to those acts of Tyranny in the Steward, which it might have been invidious to 203 have ventured upon by his OAvn absolute Authority. Book 5. ch.3. And as the existence of this Court had no sanction nor example in the Laws and Customs of the Manor, so the Judgments and Forms of Proceeding had no Rule or Precedent, but the Arbitrary Will of the Members ; or, which is the same thing, that of the SteAvard, as they Avere merely his Creatures. Of this pretended Court the Judgments were not only, as might be expected, arbitrary and unjust, — but often, even shockingly cruel and inhuman. Take a few Examples, Avhere Persons distinguished for Rank, Fortune, and Education, Avere sentenced to, and suf fered, the most severe and most ignominious Punish ments that could be inflicted on the basest Felons : and that for merely exposing, and opposing, the Tyranny and arbitrary proceedings of the Steward. One Dr. Deighton having published an Appeal to the Palaverium, against all those Arbitrary Attempts its victims. and Usurpations of the Steward ; — he Avas by this ille gal Court sentenced to be Pilloried, to have his Ears cut off, and his Nose slit. And the sentence Avas ex ecuted to its full extent, with the greatest severity. — One Mr. Primme, a Member of Mrs. Bull's Office, having thrown out some Censures upon the Luxury and Licentiousness of the Steward's Office and Hous hold, and upon some Harlequin Buffooneries they kept up for their amusement — was sentenced to Pay a Fine of s€5000. to be twice Pilloried, to have bis Ears cut off, and to lie in Prison as long as he lived. Even from his prison this Primme contrived by his Writings to expose and censure the Usurpation and Tyranny of the Steward, and the Licentious Profligacy dd2 204 Book b. ch. 3. of those about his Houshold and Office ; and was again, together with two other persons of respectability, t]ie one a Divine, the other a Physician, sentenced to be Pilloried, and to lose their Ears, and Primme even the remains of his, and to be fined each the °ld Manor °f Caledonia, the Steward- ship of Avhich had been time out of mind the Inherit ance of his Family, but had since their Accession to the Manor of Albion been much neglected, Avas all in up roar and confusion ; and Sandy Ranger seemed ready to discard the SteAvard's Authority altogether. This situation of affairs took its rise from a cause which may seem no-wise adequate to tlie effect. Every body who has read the story of the three Brothers, Peter, Martin, and Jack, knows what work has been made, and Avhat violent disputes have arisen in the world about the Coats, or Fashion of Dress, of these celebrated Brothers and their respective Followers.* But perhaps never * This and what follows on the subject of Holiday Dress, may allude to the Disputes about the different Forms of Religious Worship, especially thc Episcopal and Presbyterian,— and the Shocking Cruelties exercised to enforce the former in Scotland. — Pret. Com. 207 did these matters give rise to more atrocious proceed- Book 5. ch. i. ings, than what, in the Sequel of these Memoirs we shall have occasion to mention as exhibited on the Ca ledonian Manor. The Impostor Peter had been ex pelled from Sandy's Manor, and from the Manage ment of his Mother's House, which he had also usurped, with still more violence and indignity, than he had been from John Bull's Manor. And this having taken place chiefly Avhen the Stewardship was in the hand of a Young Female, Avho Avas also then absent from the Manor, the Family had taken the Management of tlieir Mother's Affairs pretty much into their own hands. One point, of which both Sandy's Folk and Peter made great account, was, the Form and Cut of their Sdnday's Clothes, or the Fashion of their Holiday Suit. Peter, in particular, had invented a certain Form or Fashion of Holiday dress, which he ordered to be universally used. To this, Sandy, who in these mat ters was highly fanciful-— with perhaps a little dash of the coxcomb, had for some time shewn great dislike ; and had now under the Auspices of the celebrated Jack, Brother to Peter, invented a new Fashion and Cut of his own, with which the Folk on the Manor were mightily pleased ; and indeed maintained that it was not a new, but the pure original fashion in which Cato°f„ "eThe such Dress Avas made. But in the use of thisj Carlos ^""/"p"1^ would by no means indulge them ; either because he "Pon the was as narrow minded in these matters as the meanest Caledonian of themselves; or, because he thought that freedom of choice in one case might encourage pretensions to it in others, and prove an obstacle to that arbitrary exercise of the Stewardship which he was determined to extend 208 Books, ch. 4. to every thing, and to maintain on both Manors. It Avas therefore resolved to enforce a perfect uniformity, and that every man on both Manors should think, be lieve, understand, and dress, exactly alike, and after whatever Fashion the Steward chose to prescribe. Though great part of the People on the two ad joining Manors of Albion and Caledonia seem to have been originally of the same stock, yet by time and ha bit they had come to differ considerably in their Fash ions, Customs, and Manners. And in particular, though, since discarding Peter, both had made altera tions in their Sunday's Dress, the New Fashion of each differed in marry respects from that of the other : but Carlos was determined that all persons on both Manors should wear their Sunday's Dress of exactly the same Fashion, Form, and Cut; — nor content Avith that, he Avould not even indulge Sandy in the making his own Suit, even if he would have agreed to follow the prescribed Fashion. In this business Carlos seems chiefly f o have been in fluenced, and directed by one Tailor Puff, head Fash- ionmonger or Master of Ceremonies for his Office and for the Manor of A lbion . This man undertook to make up a Suit for Sandy and his Family, of exactly the same Size, Form, and Dimensions that was worn by the Bull Family ; apd it was ordered that no one of Sandy's Family, however different in Size or Stature, should dare to vary from these dimensions by a clip of the Shears, or a stitch of the Needle. Besides the tenaciousness with which People ad here to their own Customs and Fashions, the mode of imposing this Sunday's Dress excited the utmost ia- 209 dignation on the Caledonian Manor. Though Sandy Book 5. ch. 4. possessed but a small, and not very fertile Estate, yet he had always kept it clear and unincumbered, and va- — but ,is ob?''" J r * nately resist- lued himself as much on his independence, and held his ed,and obiig- r ' ed, for the head as high, as any man in the country round; and time, to give up the at- no man was more apt to resent an insult, or any at- tempt. tempt to impose upon him. It may easily be con ceived how Carlos's attempt would relish with such a disposition. Even had this NeAv Dress been to his taste and fancy, Sandy would have spurned at the pro posal of receiving it from any man ; but far more, at the idea of being thrust into it in this rude and violent manner. But the truth is, it was by no means to his Taste. Sandy was indeed, as we have said, quite fan ciful in the Affair of Holiday Dress ; and had a high opinion of his OAvn taste and judgment in such matters ; and he liked to see his own Tailors and Dress-makers display their invention and fancy on these occasions. And though their NeAv Cut might be in some instances a little whimsical and extravagant, it afforded abundant room for novelty and variety, and every man had an opportunity of shewing his own fancy and taste, and the Dress-makers of displaying their ingenuity and in vention. All Avhich was entirely excluded by the im- positious uniform devised by Puff and enjoined by Carlos ; besides the degradation of having it thrust upon them, as if they had been John Bull's Lackies, or the SteAvard's Livery Servants. To such a spirit as Sandy's, nothing could be more mortifying and repul sive, than this attempt. HoAvever, by the advice, and under the direction of Puff, the Fashionmonger at the Steward's Office, EE 210 Book 5. ch. 4. this Dress was made up, and got ready to be sent off. — This Puff was a Grave, Solemn, Self-important, Prag- ChTatlorepuff?fmaticalPriS; who thought the Size and Form of the Coat of more importance than the Make, Stature, or Figure of the Man, or any of the ends or uses for Avhich Men were made, or Clothes were Avorn. Instead, therefore, of alloAving the Coat to be cut according to the size or dimensions of the man Avho was to wear it, he, with a truly Procrustian Spirit, intended and ad vised that the man should be cut to the size and dimen sions of the Coat.* And however incredible this may sound, it was some time aftenvards, by the Son of this same Carlos, actually put in execution ; and a great number of persons were mutilated, and murdered in the Experiment ; as we shall have occasion to relate. This Dress, or something in the same Form, bad long been in use on the Albion Manor, and in John Bull's Mother's House, and Avas considered as the Fa mily-fashion ; and was indeed, for those Avhom it fitted, a very decent, easy, and becoming Dress ; and though The Bull Fa- it had, perhaps, some superfluities, or fallals, — as the mily Holi- . . . day Dress,— Quaker in the rlay says — belonging to it, Avhich may rather be thought incumbrances, than either useful or ornamental ; yet Avas there nothing about it that could be justly reckoned either offensive or indecent. The original of the Dress had indeed been intro duced when Peter presided in Madam Bull's Family ; but had since his expulsion been considerably altered, and improved, in conformity with the improved taste and judgment of the Family. And the truly respect able Old Lady, possessed of good sense and modera- * Rack and Torture to compel Religious opinion. — Pret. Com. 211 tion beyond the lot of her Sex and Station, had never Book 5. ch. 4. been strict in requiring a rigid compliance to the ex act form and fashion ; so be, her Servants and Family conduct themselves orderly, and appear sober and de cent in tlieir Dress : being well aware that the sole end and object of both the form and substance of Apparel and Dress is comfort, with decency and propriety of personal appearance ; and that it be not cumbersome, nor unfavorable to activity and proper exertion. If any thing inconsistent with this prudent mode ration has at any time shown itself in the Regulation, or Economy of Madam Bull's Houshold or Family, it will be found to have always arisen, not from the tem per and spirit of the Lady herself, but from the pride, envy, and ambition, of some conceited pragmatical prigs of Tailors and Fashionmongers of her Houshold, such as this Puff; who was shrewdly suspected of a se cret partiality to Peter and his practices, — at least he possessed all his self-importartt and overbearing spirit, and Avas fond of all the senseless unmeaning mummery, of Peter's manners and times. Of this Domestic Uniform of Madam Bull, many have complained, that in some of its parts it is too re dundant and cumbersome; and in the way it is now commonly worn there may be some ground for such Bull Family complaint; as the custom now is, it is a common thing Dressf^c, to huddle on altogether a number of parts of the Dress, which were intended each for a distinct and separate time or occasion. But this is imputable, entirely to the indifference, obstinacy, or Avant of judgment, in the Steward, or the Head Domestics of Madam Bull's Houshold, who have the ordering of these things. This ee2 212 Book 5. ch. 4. Family Holiday Dress, it must be understood, was in tended to furnish a complete vestment for every dif ferent occasion that Avas likely to occur, as for Birth days, Weddings, Funerals, and other occasional Ho lidays. And even of the Every-day Dress, different parts were intended for different times and seasons; some, perhaps for a cold winter's morning, some for a hot summer's day. But the heedless unthinking Mas ters of Ceremonies, probably from mere indifference, have directed all to be clapt on together. Noav as there are some particular parts of the Dress which be long to each of these occasions, by this custom of hud dling on the whole on every occasion ; why, one may have half-a-score folds of the same Article swathed round him in a hot summer's day. — For Instance— we will suppose a single silk sash is both a useful and or namental part of Dress * — Well then, it may be conve nient to wear perhaps only a single Waistcoat with a broad silk sash over it — But a Doublet also may be con venient, and to the Doublet belongs a sash — then the under sash may be left off — no such thing,— -a sash be longs to the Waistcoat — but a Coat also belongs to the Dress, — over the Doublet goes a Coat, with the Coat must go a sash — over the Coat a Great-coat — with the Great-coat a sash — over the Great-coat a Cloak,— with the Cloak a sash. — Perhaps beside there is a Christ ening, and a Wedding, each of which has a particular Dress, and each Dress a Sash, — all must go on. Thus, besides the incumberance of such a superfluous load of * The frequent repetition of the Paternoster in the Church Service, seems here to be alluded to ; which may occur eight or ten times in the Morning's Service. — Pret Com. 213 Clothes at all seasons — with eight or ten sashes swathed Book 5. ch. 4. round a. man at one time, — think what a figure he must present. To this may be added a number of unneces- Sunday Dress, sary Points, and Endings, tagged to the extremities of almost every part of the Dress, Such a Dress must, no doubt, on some occasions seem not only cumber some and inelegant ; but, especially to Strangers, must appear somewhat ridiculous and absurd. Yet happily every part of this Dress is in itself decent and graceful; and the whole is made of thc best materials. But to proceed in our Narrative— — Puff having cut out a Sunday's Suit for Sandy, and seen it made The attempt to up under his eye, it was packed up and sent off Avith an ins'urrec- great care ; accompanied with a strict charge to one of dy's Family. the Head Tailors of Sandy's Houshold to see it fitted on next Sunday, — and that no man should afterwards dare to appear in any other Sunday's Dress. As it was to be the Church-going Suit, the Tailor to Avhom it had been sent in charge, thought Sunday, at the Church, would be the best place and occasion for exhibiting it, fitting it on, and publishing the order that all persons should follow it exactly. Accordingly Sandy had notice to present himself Avith his Family on the ap pointed day, to have his NeAv Sunday's Suit tried on and to hear the Order for the invariable use of it. Whether Sandy was disposed to receive this fa vour with due gratitude, Ave will not pretend to say; _which com- certain it is, he had curiosity enough to appear at haggle Gel- Church with most of his Family, on the appointed ^XeeS- day ;— when the Head Tailor of the Parish in which %ffi*Tl§£ his Principal Mansion stood, presented himself in a Full Dress of the prescribed Form, with a large Pack- 214 Book 5. ch. 4. age carried before him, for the use and pattern of Sandy and his Family. But no sooner had he begun to open out his Wares, than an Old Woman named Margaret Geddes, who sat before him on a three-leg ged stool, rising in great resentment, exclaimed — What, will the false clown open up his Trumpery before my very face ! — and instantly let fly the three-legged stool at his head.* This proved the signal for an universal onset, and the poor Tailor Avas attacked with Stools, Forms, Shoes, Pattens, Sticks, and Staves, and Avhat- ever came to hand. — ' Furor arma ministrat'. In short had not the Constables, and Churchwardens, with some of the soberer sort, interposed and rescued the poor Tailor out of their hands and carried him safe home to his house, his brains, if he had any, Avould assuredly have been knocked out in the fray. Such was now the universal indignation excited over the whole Caledonian Manor, by this treatment from theii Old Steward, that Carlos thought it prudent Carlos desists at present to desist from his attempt to saddle Sandy «mmth'S a'"wltl1 his favorite Sunday's Suit. Some of Sandy's Family to this day boast not a little of this Exploit of Margaret Geddes, and her name is still held in honour able estimation among them. And one of their Memo rialists observes — ' who could have thought that Mag gie Geddes' throwing the three-legged stool at the Tailor's Head would have produced such great and im portant consequences.'' And it must be confessed the consequences that followed were truly great and im portant to both Manors ; and on Sandy's at least, ope rate to this very day. * This, however singular it may seem, is a strict and literal Fact, 215 Sandy's Family now went near lo throw off allde- Book s.ch.4. ference and respect for their Old Steward. They particularly declared their determination to choose their own Tailors, and to cut their Holiday Clothes af ter their own Fashion, and to their OAvn Taste. And entered into an engagement to be firm, and to stand by one another in this Matter. And the Tailors and Fash ion-mongers, Avho had received, and undertaken to fit them with this imposed Dress, Avere now called to ac count, and discharged from the exercise of their Trade upon the Manor for the future ; upon Avhich many of them removed themselves to John Bull's Manor, where Puff was at least well disposed to provide employment for them. Sandy and his Steward Avere now absolutely at daggers drawing, and each stood surrounded Avith After much their partizans ready to cut one another's throats. But both""^"™, the truth is, Carlos's Pretensions were scarce more fa- mn0dafion0nis vourably looked upon by those of his OAvn Party, Avho eftected ; the accompanied him from the Bull Manor, than by those wnicll.„ a[e r ' J but ill ob- of the opposite Party. The first had indeed attended him served byei- ther Parly. into Sandy's Manor. But a perfectly good under standing subsisted at this time between the Folk on the Iavo Manors, and even between Sandy and some Lead ing men in the SteAvard's Party. Carlos could not but perceive the little zeal of even his own Partizans in his Cause ; and as Sandy still professed to acknowledge him in his Office ; though he would not be dictated to in his OAvn Family, by his Steward — they soon came to an Agreement to disperse their Followers on both sides, to bury all by-gones in silence, and to settle coolly and deliberately all remaining disputes. In 216 Books, ch. 4. consequence of this agreement, the affairs of the Holi day Dress was left to be regulated by Sandy himself, with the advice of bis own Tailors and Masters of Ce remonies ; and all other matters were to be settled by the Caledonian Palaverium ; an Institution somewhat similar to Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office ; only the whole met in one Chamber, and consulted together. To account for the indifference of Carlos's Fol lowers to his Cause, on the present occasion, it may be observed, that, beside the causes of Discontent between John Bull and Carlos already mentioned, the Bull Family Mere at this time no wise partial to their own Sunday's Dress ; and far less disposed to impose it upon others. The terms of agreement above settled Avere but ill observed on either side. Carlos had now returned to his Residence on the Albion Manor, where, though he had solemnly sanctioned the Law declaring it unlawful to exact, or take money of any person on the Manor Avithout the express Authority of the Palaverium ; or to interrupt, imprison, or punish any man, but by due Process of the LaAvs of the Manor — it soon appeared, that he had agreed to all this merely to gain time, and elude the present interruption. For he had no sooner dispersed Mrs. Bull's Houshold, than he shewed that he held even his own solemn sanction in the ut most contempt, and set no bounds to his exactions ; and he imprisoned and punished, without laAV or reason, Avhoever denied whatever he demanded, or gave him the least trouble or interruption. But all could not supply his wants ; and he was again obliged to reas semble Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office. 217 Mrs. Bull's Houshold being again met, the SteAvard Book 5. ch. 4. sent a Message to them by one Harry Weathercock, to ask a supply of Money. Harry, who I doubt had a Mrs. Bull's ... , , ... .. - ., Houshold a- spice or the knave in nis composition, — cither by mis- gain Assem- take, or design, made an enormous demand, double the sum directed to be asked. On account of the Steward's conduct during the suspension of the Office, they had met in no very complaisant humour ; and such a Mes sage with such a demand, in the temper they were in, set the whole in a flame. And Harry returning, re ported to the Steward that no money would be granted. Carlos was equally provoked and disappointed by this answer ; and as the procuring of Money was the sole purpose for which he assembled them, he immediately dispersed them again, Avithout allowing them time to take any notice of the atrocious perfidy, extortion, and injustice he had been guilty of during their suspension ; and without any hesitation betook himself to the same practices again, seizing people's money and goods wherever he could come at them, and imprisoning and punishing those who opposed him, or whose money or goods he could not come at. It may seem strange that Carlos, who was not reckoned deficient in understanding, should thus per sist in a course so directly tending to his ruin. But the absurd notion which at this time prevailed over the whole country round, and especially in Terrafirm, Carlos misled with respect to the importance of thc Stewardical Cha- cessfui rjsur- racter, and the uncontrolable Authority belonging to thVsteward- the Office, no doubt, tended to mislead him. On al- J^ especi- most every Manor on Terrafirm the Usurpation of the r"fiyrm" Ter" Stewards had been carried to that height, that they were FP 218 Books. ch. 1. really become the absolute and acknowledged Lords and Proprietors. And in many instances they bought and sold both the Estates and the People upon them, the same as they did Cattle or Stock, or any other Goods. And Carlos could not admit the idea that he had less right or power than any of his Brother Stewards. • And though, beside the Antient Custom and Con stitution of the Manor of Albion, the Privileges and Rights of the Bull Family, and the bounds of the Stew ard's Power and Authority had been fixed, and settled by the Great Roll and many other most solemn and au thentic Deeds and Records ; yet, such is the tendency of SteAvardical Presumption to disregard every thing but its own gratification, that Carlos's Father had en deavoured to hold it forth, — that all the Rights and Privileges of the Bull Family were either Usurpations from, or Indulgences granted by, his Ancestors and himself. And so far was Carlos from proposing to pay any regard to the Great Roll or any other of those An tient Deeds and Records, that he did not think he could be bound to keep any faith with the Family, even by the most solemn sanctions he himself had given, longer than till he had power to break through them. In the time of Carlos's Ffther, the Power and Pre tensions of the SteAvardship had in theory and profes* Sion been carried to the greatest height ; and opinions and principles entirely subversive of all private and in dividual Freedom and Right, had been not only pro pagated in the Steward's Office, but proclaimed abroad, preached in Churches ; and even a Divine Sanction claimed for them. Such Doctrines, even in theory, coming from whence they did, could not but be some- 219 what alarming to John Bull's Family ; but having set Book 5. ch. 4. themselves to examine their validity, and to try Avhat ground they stood upon, they discovered them to be entirely without a foundation, — the mere baseless fa bric of determined ignorance and self-conceit. And not less contrary to all common sense, reason, and justice, than to the most antient and indisputable Rights of the Bull Family, and the most solemnly established Customs and LaAvs of the Manor of Albion. But now those high Pretensions, which under the Stewardship of the Father existed chiefly in theory, and were mostly confined to mere Pretensions, Carlos attempted to put into full Practice. Nay, in some in stances he even went beyond either the Practice or Pretensions of the most arbitrary of his Predecessors ; as in the case of Navalgiit, Weightage, and Priceage ; and in the arbitrary imprisonment, cruel punishment, tortures, and mutilations, of those who opposed his Proceedings ; but especially, in violating the solemn and express sanction he himself had so lately given to the Family's positive and just demands by the Claim of Rights, pf2 220 Book s, ch. 5. Chap. V. Contents. — Carlos, compelled by the necessity of his Affairs, again as sembles the Palaverium — which persists in demanding redress of Grievances, and remonstrating against the Encroachments of the Steward — and to shew how much they are in earnest prosecute to the Death his two principal Agents Don Strathford and Puff the Fashionmonger — whom Carlos with Stewardical insensibility gives up to their Fate. — Carlos's pretensions now much lowered — is fain to resign most of his presumptuous Usurpations. In this state of things, it could not be long before mat ters must come to a crisis. Carlos seemed determined to proceed in his assumed Authority, and to set John Bull and all his Family at defiance ; he even seemed to think himself under no obligation to pay any regard to the concessions Avhich he himself had made in the most formal and solemn manner. On the other hand the Leading Men in John Bull's Family, having not only well examined the ground they stood upon, but also fully acquainted themselves with the sentiments of the Folk upon the Manor, and found them in their fa vour — were hence conscious that they stood on good ground, and that they had ability, as well as will and right to maintain their cause ; and were therefore de termined to stand firmly to their Rights, and at once to vindicate themselves and their Posterity from the Usurpations and Encroachments of the Stewards. With all his usurped authority, and extorted con- Carios again tributions, Carlos found he could not raise money to sembTe Mrs! the amount of his necessities, without the sanction of hold Office? Mrs* Bull's 0ffice- He was therefore obliged once more to assemble that Office. Which met not only in the same spirit, but consisted nearly of the same per sons it had formerly done. 221 Mrs. Bull's Office being thus met and ready fo proceed to business ; — instead of entering upon the supply of the Steward's wants, the object for which he had assembled them, their first step was to vote a sum of money for the support of Sandy Ranger and his Ca ledonians, who were again up in defiance of the Steward, and had even entered the Manor of Albion to brave him to his teeth. And so far were the Bull Family, oppressed and insulted as they had been by the Stew ard, from opposing, or repelling them, that they were rather disposed to encourage and invite them. This must no doubt have been highly provoking to Carlos ; but it might also, had he been capable of any reason or thought, have convinced hiin of the desperate course he was running. He hoAvever thought it prudent at present to keep out of Sandy's way. In the mean time, the Palaverium, instead of vot ing money, set themselves to enumerate their Griev ances, and to remonstrate against the insults they had received, and the perfidy of the Steward's conduct to wards them. In the present situation of Carlos's af fairs, he could not as usual dissolve Mrs. Bull's Hous hold Office ; he therefore determined upon a most un precedented step, — he sent some of his Officers even into Mrs. Bull's House to seize certain leading persons of the Office, Avho he knew were the principal sup porters of the Family cause ; but the doors were shut and his Officers excluded. Upon this he took the still more extraordinary step, of going himself in person to seize them. But Mrs. Bull, not willing to depart en tirely from that deference and respect with which she and the SteAvard had always treated one another, hear- Books.ch.5. Which instead of providing for the Stew ard's wants, vote a Sum of Money to support San dy Ranger and the Ca ledonians. who bad hos- tilely enter ed the Albi on Manor. —and then set themselves to enumeratetheir Griev ances. Carlos enters Mrs. Bull's House to seize by force some of her Domestics. — : Is disappoint ed by the prudence of Mrs. Bull. 222 Book 5. ch.S. ing of his design, desired thc obnoxious persons to withdraw. When the Steward entered, every body rose up — Carlos looking round, and not seeing any of the persons he wanted, said, he found the birds were flown — he then seated himself in the Chairman's seat ; and all present, resenting this insult, left the room. Matters had never before proceeded to such per sonal extremities between John Bull and his Steward ; and the one depending on the imaginary extent of his Authority, and the other on Natural Reason and the Consciousness of his Rights, there appeared no bounds to the quarrel. Besides, that the present situation of Carlos's Affairs could not permit him, as usual, to dis solve Mrs. Bull's Houshold, it might be doubtful in Mrs. Euiis Of- their present spirit and disposition, whether they Avould ly declare— submit to be dispersed by the usual order. Especially, to be only as they had about this time in the course of their re- the Family, monstrances declared — that the whole Authority of the theirwln"'6 Manor, the whole Economy and Management of the Affairs of the Family, under John Bull himself, rested entirely with the tAvo Chambers of Mrs Bull's Houshold Office, as the Representatives of the Avhole Inhabitants of the Manor ; and that the Steward was merely the Agent and Officer of the Family, intrusted by them, for the purpose of carrying their Will and Determina tions into execution. Don strathford But still unwilling to proceed to immediate extre- Carlos's chief . . , , -, , , ,/. . Adviser, in- mities with the (steward himself, to convince him how- Capitai Fe- ever, how much they Avere in earnest, they indicted Don Tmison a- Strathford, noAv his chief Adviser and Abettor in all his ITuiiFamiiy! usurpations and perfidy, of Capital Felony, and a con spiracy against Jghn Bull and the Family, in whose 223 behalf they were trusted. This Don Strathford wasBioks.ch.s. the same person with that Wantworth, whom we have already mentioned as once, one of the ablest sup porters — and next, one of the first deserters, and be trayers of John Bull's cause. He was noAV become one of the Titulates, and a Member of the Upper Chamber of Mrs. Bull's Houshold. Affording a first instance of what is now so common, — of one promoted to nominal Honour for a thorough contempt of all real Honour — of one preferred to a seat in the Upper Chamber of Mrs. Bull's Office, for having most stea dily betrayed his Trust, and displayed an entire want of all Principle, in the Lower Chamber of that Office. What they chiefly laid to his charge, beside abet- HisAccusation. ting Carlos in all his Perfidy and Usurpations upon the Rights of the Family, was, his advising and incit ing the Steward to seize into his own hands the whole PoAver and Possession of the Manor, and to compel John Bull and his Family to submit, vi et armis, by downright force and violence. This Wantworth, or Don Strathford, was, as has been said, a person of great abilities, and certainly of some virtues ; but the intoxicating draught of Ambition, the love of Power and Place, had subverted his prin ciples, and finally proved his ruin. And as he was the first Betrayer of the Cause of the Family, he was also the first victim of its vengeance ; for as his extensive capacity enabled him to become the more extensively pernicious, it was soon determined to make him an ex ample. When he first changed his Party, Mr. Pynne, oneof those he had left, told him his Fate in these words— 224 Book 5. ch. s. ' Sir, you have left us, but we will not leave you till we? have had your head off your shoulders.' And he kept his Avord. Wantworth had now got titles and baubles, was stiled Don, and had a seat in the Upper Chamber of the Palaverium. This Upper Chamber was itself the highest Court of Judgment on the Manor, and all the Members of it particularly claimed the Title of Don, and the privilege of being tried for all offences only by their own equals in this Court. In this Court, then, and before his Mates, did theforenamed Pynne and his Associates of the Lower Chamber Indict him. When brought to the Bar, the principal Charges laid against him were, his Abetting and Encouraging the Steward in his Usurpation and Encroachments on the Rights and Privileges of the Bull Family, and in seizing their Property without the Sanction of Mrs. Bull's Office. These were facts that could not be denied. His only Defence was, that he was engaged in the Steward's Service, and acted by his Master's Orders. But this Plea could avail him nothing ; as both he and his Master were engaged in John Bull's Service, and were not only acting contrary to his orders, but were actually in a Conspiracy to oust him of his Manor, and to rob him of his Liberty. And it was proved against him, that on some occasions he had excited Carlos to carry matters to greater extremity than even he himself was disposed to do. Great efforts were made by Carlos to Condemned save him; and he made a most pathetic and interesting cuted. Xe" address to the Court in his own behalf, — but all was in vain. He Avas sentenced to death as a Traitor. 225 Few however thought that the above sentence Book 5. ch. 5, would ever be executed ; especially as no Capital Sentence could be put in execution on the Manor with out an express warrant from the Steward ; and it was one of the Steward's acknowledged Privileges, in parr ticular cases, to pardon condemned criminals. It Avas, therefore, concluded that he Avould never sign the war- Sentence and ' ° Execution ot rant, for the Execution of one whose' only crime was strathforth. too much zeal and fidelity for his service. Bat the Lower Chamber of Mrs. Bull's Office eagerly de manded the Execution of the Sentence, and refused to proceed to any other business till they were gratified in this. It is even said, that the unfortunate victim him self wrote a letter to the Steward, adyising him to sign the warrant for his execution, and to sacrifice him to his own more important Interests, This was no doubt ge nerous ; but it might have been expected, and probably was expected, to have an effect directly contrary to what it imported. But the wretched Carlos, equally void of firmness and of honour, gave way and signed the Warrant.- — Which was immediately Executed. — It would appear that the unhappy man did expect that even his own request against himself would, in this case, not be complied with ; for when notice was given him of the Warrant being signed, and sent, for his Execu tion, he discovered some surprise, and exclaimed — * Let no man ever put confidence in the Faith or Friend ship of Stewards!' Next to this Strathforth, the Fashionmonger Puff had been the most forward to support and encourage -Carlos in all his Usurpations and unwarrantable Prac- GG 226 BookS.ch. 5. tices; he was accordingly the next victim demanded by the Leaders in Mrs. Bull's Office. However ac ceptable such a Sycophant as Puff might, even at this day, be in the Steward's Office ; out of doors, such a character Avith all its ludicrous mummery would be thought rather an object of contempt and ridicule, than of resentment or prosecution. But at that time the Form and Fashion of the Sunday Dress, or Holiday Suit, was really thought a matter of importance. And contemptible this Puff while he introduced into it the most silly and Character, . . and .retch- ridiculous foppery, affected to go about it with so much ed fatf , of ... PufftheFash- solemn grimace, and important earnestness, that a "monger. Beau at a Ball never seemed to make more account of the fine fancy of his New Suit, than he did of his mummeries. Yet, had the poor prig confined his pre tensions to these fopperies he might probably have escaped all serious danger. But not content with the functions of Master of Ceremonies, and Head Steward of Madam Bull's Houshold, he must also be one of the most fonvard advisers and directors in the Steward's Office. And as a mind so importantly intent upon tri fles must be incompatible with any thing , generous, good, or great, — the highest aim of which he was ca pable, was, that of establishing the absolute Power of the Steward ; and especially by it, to obtain a sanction for all his own Mummery and Grimace. This, of en couraging the Perfidy, and supporting the Usurpation of the Steward, to the subversion of the essential Laws and Customs of the Manor, was the principal charge brought against him. And of this he Avas found guilty, and was condemned to death accordingly. His fate 227 seems to have been little regretted by any party; the Book 5. ch. 5. Steward had indeed granted him a pardon, but alas ! by this time the Steward found himself fallen far beloAV his Original Pretensions; and no regard was paid to it. It is much to be regretted, that either, the fate of these first victims to their Family in behalf of Steward ical Usurpation, has not proved a warning to deter others from following their Example; or, that every one Avho has since followed the Example of their Per fidy, has not also afforded an Example of their Fate. In which case how different Avould have been the fate and how reversed the reputation of a late wretched Major Domo.,— who, like Wantworth, began his course as a most zealous advocate for the Rights of the Bull , Family, and especially for tlie reform of those enor mous abuses that had crept into Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office ; and ended it as the most prompt and pernicious Tool of the Steward, in corrupting and debauchiiag that Office, and the whole Bull Family. — Had the examples we have related been followed, instead of seeing statues erected to the memory of such a man, Ave should have seen him expiating his guilt on a Scaffold, and his me mory held forth to everlasting Infamy and Contempt for Apostacy and Perfidy. It need scarce be observed, that by this time both The Power ' ^ and Preten- the Power, and Pretension, of the Steward Avere greatly sions of the ' ii Steward muoh lowered. Mrs. Bull s Office had now assumed such iowered;and , _ i ,, T-. ii .i ur the Authori- Authority and Power, and the folk on the Manor tv of Mr-. seemed so well disposed to support them in it, that proportiona- Carlos found it necessary professedly to resign much of y raibe ' his former Pretensions. ggS 228 Book 5. ch. 5. The Levying of Navalgiit, of Weightage and Priceage, and the extorting of pretended Loans, Avere now all abolished by express Laws enacted for the purpose, and to which Carlos had given his direct and formal consent and sanction. The arbitrary and illegal Court of Star-hall with some others of the same nature, and introduced for the same pernicious purposes, were now also expressly abolished, by the Authority of the Palaverium confirmed by Carlos himself. And the attempts of the Steward to conduct and carry on the af fairs of the Family and Manor without the Advice and Consent of Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office, as had lately been done, was declared to be illegal ; and a Law was enacted to secure its regular assembling and renewal once every three years. — The Decision of the Judges given in the case of Hamglen — that exacting of Naval- gilt by the Steward was lawful,— was now declared to be directly contrary to Law, and the Judges prosecuted and fined for giving such a corrupt Decision. 229 BookS. ch.S. Chap. VI, Contents. — Carlos having given up many of his Usurped Pretensions, permits Mrs. Bull's Office to proceed in Business, — and the most disputed points being settled, all occasion of quarrel might seem to be ended — No setting hounds to ambition — The Palaverium now exceed the bounds of Moderation nearly as much as the Steward had for merly done — proceed to open Quarrel, and prosecute one another at Law — Carlos Cast, Seized, Tried, Condemned, and Executed. Short State of the Argument pro and con respecting his Character, Conduct, Trial, and Execution. These things being agreed upon, and settled by ex press consent on both sides, it might have been thought that all quarrels and misunderstandings would have been at an end ; and that the Steward would have re sumed the quiet exercise of his Office, and the Family and Folk on the Manor have returned to their* ordinary pursuits and employments. And no doubt it ought to have been so. For though there yet remained many unreasonable and oppressive old claims and abuses of the Stewardship unredressed ;— such as the Wardship of Heirs, giving them in Marriage, and some others. Which, though they had been solemnly abandoned, or re gulated, by the Great Roll and other Charters ; yet through the constant Usurping Character of Stewardism No settin ]im. had been again resumed, and acted upon as if they had ^ *° ^",,7- never been abolished. But these were not of such an ur- U0"- .Tl,e Palaverium irent nature, but they might have waited redress in a regu- now scarce & ' J ° ° less prone lar and deliberate way ; and the authority now possessed to exceed by the Lower Chamber of Mrs. Bull's Office, was such, than the that it could have found no difficulty in obtaining this been. redress. But there is no fixing limits to ambition and 230 Book 5. ch. 6. power once obtained; and Mrs. Bull's Office seemed now scarce less disposed to exceed the bounds of mo deration and right than Carlos himself had been. It is true, many of the concessions and securities For which, the mentioned above, Carlos had yielded Avith but a bad p\Prn"ynceof grace, and there was but too much reason to question Carios gives ^ gincerfty< j-[e aa(j formerly sanctioned the Claim prelence " °f Rights ; and no sooner had he received the supplies he wanted, than he violated every article of it, Avith out the least apology, or compunction. A number of other instances of Perfidy, and contempt of all truth and honesty, with some secret intimations of resentment, and express declarations to his confidents that these concessions Avere only meant to temporize, till an op portunity of revenge should arrive, — had now so ruined the credit and character of the Steward with the Squire, and almost with every person on the Manor, that it was thought, and with too much reason, that no dependence could be had upon his engagements, while he had power to violate them. And this too prevalent sentiment, was still further -confirmed by some of Carlos's confidental letters, that had fallen into the hands of the Palaverium ; in Avhich he expressly de clared, that he waited but an opportunity, to disannul all that he had done, and to make them feel the effects of his vengeance. In short Carlos had now forfeited all confidence with the Family, and all opinion of his sin cerity, integrity, or honour; the greatest misfortune that can befall one in his station. He had also lost all their regard and affection, and all opinion of his re gard and affection for them. 231 These circumstances gave the Bull Family a fair Bioks.ch.6. pretence for still standing on the defensive, and requir ing further security against the characteristic encroach ments, and repeated perfidies of the Steward. The se curity that they now chiefly demanded, was, that the Command and Disposal of the Defensive Bands, Avhich hitherto had belonged to the Steward's Office, should be entrusted to the Palaverium. These Defensive Bands were a certain proportion of the whole able-bodied male Inhabitants, chosen by lot for a limited time, to be trained to discipline and the use of weapons ; for preserving the internal peace and good order of the Manor, and also when there should beoccasion, for defending it from trespass and violence from without. This concession, with some others, the Palaverium demanded as a reasonable pledge of Carlos's sincerity, and a security against his further violation of the Rights and Privileges of the Family ; but to this Carlos would by no means consent. All confidence and mutual regard between the Parties was now totally extinguished, and both sides seemed determined to bring the Cause to a full Deci- Proceed to di- r©ct vJ 11 r. i*i*i" 1 sion by open and direct Quarrel and Lawsuit. And to and Law— this Issue it finally came. It would be too tedious to relate here, all the par ticular steps that led to this event, and the many par tial Trials at Bar, Avhich toqk place in the course of the Process ; where the Verdict was sometimes in favour of The steward cast in a one side, sometimes of the other. Suffice it, that the Great and Decisive Ac- Steward was at last cast in one great and decisive Ac- tion. tion; and in consequence ejected from the Stewardship, 232 Book 5. ch. 6. and stripped of all power, possession, and right, on the Manor. — This was such an event as might have been expected ; and what indeed must be, and ought to be, the case, whenever the Steward has lost the confidence of his Employer, and the partiality and good opinion of the Folk on the Manor. And though in such cases, as on the present occasion, there will always be some, who, through policy or interest, will adhere to the Stew ard ;— where the general sense is against him, this can only tend to make his and their ruin more sure and ir retrievable. It had probably in the present instance been Well for both parties had the matter stopped short of the Eject- Tried — Con- ment of the Steward. But not content even with that ; demned— and Executed, the Palaverium seized his person, instituted a cri minal Prosecution against him, and actually put him to death by a formal sentence of Judges appointed and commissioned to try him. The principal Charges brought against CarloS were, — That he, being only the Steward and Agent of John Bull, the depository of his affairs, entrusted to manage the Business and Concerns of the Manor of Albion, for the best interest of the said John Bull and his Family — had, in breach of the said Trust, betrayed the interest of his Employer, abused his confidence, and oppressed and plundered the Family. That being solemnly engaged by his oath of Office, . to con duct the Business of the Manor, and the Affairs of the Family, in the established Courts, according to the Laws and Customs of the Manor of Albion ; — he had, in violation of that oath, and in defiance of those Laws 233 and Customs, instituted Courts entirely of bis own de- Book 5. ch. 6. vising, and tried Causes, not by Inquest of the Holders on the Manor and Liege Men of the Family ; but by mere tools and creatures of his OAvn, his Houshold Ser- The Charges vants, or the Clerks and Scriveners of his Office : who g^nft Carlo.! knew, or regarded, no Law or Rule, but his mere Will and Pleasure, — hence, enormous Fines, and cruel and torturous Punishments, had been inflicted upon many of the most firm and faithful defenders of the Family Rights, and some had died under those inflictions. In short that he had conspired to oust John Bull, his Employer, of his Manor and Estates, and to reduce him and his Family to the state of mere Feuditories and Vassals to their own Steward. And all this, first, by covin, chicanery, and perversion of Right ; and at last, by openly and directly going to Law with his Em ployer, and applying Mr. Bull's OAvn Money and Means to reduce him to dependance upon his Agent, whom he employed and paid for his services — in short, to possess himself absolutely of the Estates and Manor.— All these were matters of Fact, that there could be no difficulty in proving. The only matter of question could be — whether, these being strictly but breaches of Trust, the Family ought not to have been contented with depriving Carlos personally of the Trust, and of the Stewardship, and expelling him the Manor; with out taking his Life, or entirely abolishing the SteAvard ship. — And certainly, however the case may stand in strict Law or Justice, it were desirable they had done so ; or else managed matters better than they did, Avhen they took them into their own hands. But as in the hh 234 Book 5. ch. 6. prosecution of this Quarrel there had been much ban dying of parties on both sides ; who, whenever they met, in the true Bull-family Spirit, were sure to come to blows and violence. By these means, not only much waste and destruction of Property had been occasioned, but even many Lives had been lost— all which was laid to the charge of the Steward, the first Wrong-doer, as direct Violence and Murder. Carlos, in uniformity with his other high Preten- Cariosdeclines sions, refused to acknowledge the Authority of the rity rffUtth°e Court that was to try him. Pretended, absurdly Court, and enou„h fjjat (ne whole Folk on the Manor were his disclaims all """"&"» Responsibi- yassalSj at his disposal, and answerable to him ; while he himself was answerable to no Power upon Earth for any part of his conduct. To plain Reason and Common Sense, such Pretensions, especially on the Manor of Albion, might induce a suspicion, that Carlos's misfortunes encountering with his pride, had somewhat deranged his reason. But perhaps the usual presumption of the Stewardical Character, together with our constantly occuring sentiment. — Rarus est ferme sensus communis in ilia fortuna — may be suffici- h ent to account for the phenomenon. The truth is, to such an extent had the PoAver and Pretensions of Stew- _Butis found ardism been streched on Terrafirm, and so absurd and a4Umned~and extravagant were the ideas endeavoured to be propa- Executed. ga^e(j 0f fae Office, that even such enormous Claims were at this time no Avays singular. But what must appear really astonishing, there have since been found, and perhaps may now be found, even on the Manor of Albion, and pretending to be of John Bull's Family, 235, some who have endeavoured to defend this absurd and Book 5. ch. 6. monstrous Position in all its extravagance. Carlos was however found Guilty, Condemned, and Executed. In pure and abstract reason and justice, there can be no doubt but Carlos was guilty of fraud, covin, and treachery, against his Master and Employer ; and that he really intended to make himself Lord of the Manor, and reduce John Bull and his Family to dependence and Vassalage. If any apology can be found for him, it must be sought in the absurd opinions of the times, and the presumptuous character of Stewardism, and conduct of Stewards, in the Country round. Cer tain it is, apologies have been attempted. And as his Family were afterward for a short time restored to the Stewardship, all the Records of that period, and most of them even to this day, will be found more than suffi ciently partial to the Steward's side ; and are to be read with great caution and circumspection. Some even go so far as to ascribe to Carlos all the Merits of a Martyr, and all the Magnanimity of a Hero.— — But the business of these memoirs is to relate Facts, not to decide opinions. HH 2 236 Book 5. ch. 7. Chap. VII. Contents On thc Death of Carlos his Family flee the Manor — The ab surd Maxim, The Steward can do no wrong, with respect to the Stew ards, of most pernicious and fatal tendency. Upon the Trial and Execution of the SteAvard, his fa mily fled, or were expelled the Manor. His eldest Son, also named Carlos, applied to all the SteAvards of the neighbouring Manors fortheir assistance to recover, what he conceived to be his hereditary right ; but with out success. For these are a description of persons, Avho Avith high pretensions to sincerity, friendship, and generosity, know no feeling, passion, or principle, but their oavii interest : of course young Carlos, with abun dance of compliments, professions, and promises, found nothing more. As to Carlos the Father, it may here be observed,— that his Conduct, his Catastrophe, and the Fate of his Family, sprung from his having adopted beyond all Carlos's con- doubt and question this preposterous and pernicious tastrophe to Principle — That the Bull Family, and the Manor of entirely to Albion with all upon it, existed only for the use and rous^osUion! enjoyment of the SteAvard ; and that this was the sole Bun and°aii ^nd and Object for which they were by nature and beion^toThe Providence destined, and to Avhich they were to be ap- stewardjand pije(l without any reserve or restraint — that every step ard to John that might tend to secure this end, he Avas warranted in taking; and that no honour, nor the most solemn en gagement could lay any restraint upon him in doing so. Hoav entirely he had adopted this principle appears from his perfect disregard to the Claim of Rights, from the moment he had sanctioned it, and obtained from the 237 Palaverium the money he Avanted— from his signing the Book e. cii. 7. Warrant for the Execution of Strathforth, his best and most faithful Friend, condemned merely for his fidelity to him, — and from the deliberate determination, ex- ' pressed in his confidential letters, to violate every secu rity he had most solemnly given to the Family, when ever he should find himself in a condition to do so. There is a most Absurd and Pernicious Maxim acknoAvledged on the Manor — viz. — That the Steward can do no Wrong — this may simply imply, AVhat, ac cording to the Constitution and Custom of the Manor, is strictly true— That the Steward, though entrusted The pemici- with high Powers, has no Power or Authority given him The steward to do Injustice, Wrong, or any thing contrary to Law. — wrong— the But Stewards and their flatterers, in defiance of reason j^jj™ a"^f and common sense, choose to understand it to imply — of^teiwas* That whatever the SteAvard does is Right, and improv able— above all law and censure — or, that only the Clerks and Scriveners in his Office are answerable for whatever he may do. This Maxim, so understood, hoAvever contrary to both the Principle and Practice of the Manor of Albion, has been, and will be, the bane and ruin of every successive Race of Stewards who may adopt it. 238 Book5. ch. 8. ClIAP. VIII. Contents. — The Palaverium assume the whole Management of the Manor and Family Affairs — soon supplanted by the Lawyers, who seize the whole Authority into their own hands — one of them, Noll Feign- well, at last by craft, and capacity, obtains a more absolute control over the whole than ever the Steward had possessed — Conducts the Business of the Manor with good Policy, Vigour and Magnanimity— On his Death, by the Intrigues of one Lawyer Hocus, Carlos the Son of the late Steward is restored . The Palaverium now took the Estate and Concerns of the Family into their own hands ; and it was declared that John Bull would conduct his own Business, and order the Affairs of the Manor without the intervention of a Steward. But alas ! those rascally Lawyers who The Lawyers had carried on the Lawsuit against the Steward, and Usurp the ... ....... .. AuUiority of been the principle agents hi bringing him to trial and and turn execution, now began to dictate to John Bull himself; Houshoidout Mrs. Bull's Houshold and Office they soon fairly turned ot doors. ou^. Qf (joorSj anti assumed the whole Management and Authority on the Manor into their own hands. At the head of this insolent set of Lawyers was one Noll Feignwell, an artful, resolute, decisive Fellow; who from a very obscure situation, had, by his own con duct and capacity, raised himself to the very first 'sta* tion in the Law Department, and to an almost absolute Noll Feign- Authority in the whole affairs of the Bull Family, which \V i' 1 1 h Is V 1- goro'us con- he exercised under the Title of Defender of the Bull pacity. Family Manor. And in this station, however attained, it must be acknowledged, he acquitted himself with con siderable ability, and conducted the Business of the Fa mily and Manor with more vigour, magnanimity, dis interestedness, and zeal for the Honour and Interest of the Family, than any Steward who had ever borne the 239 Office. And at no time had John Bull's Name and Book5.ch.& Family been more respected in the world, had more weight and influence with his Neighbours, or the Manor of Albion been more secure from trouble, intrusion, or tresspass from the surrounding Manors and their Stew ards, than under this Noll; and though he was in many things arbitrary, and made his will too much the rule of his conduct, yet he did not much interfere with private right or property, or oppress individuals : and in the administration of Civil and Criminal Justice, he let the Laws and Customs of the Manor take their course. His greatest and most unpardonable abuse was the Suppression of Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office. Thus, except for the Parties and Quarrels of the Lawyers among themselves, the Folk on the Manor lived tolerably quiet and contented ; cultivated their farms, minded their business, and left the Lawyers to settle their own quarrels. And particularly, some men of more vigorous and capacious minds, finding it dan gerous to intermeddle in the public affairs of the Fa mily, cultivated Knowledge, Science, and Taste, in private, and improved their comprehensive minds to a high degree of sublimity and perfection in retirement; and hence became the most distinguished Geniuses in Poetry, Science, and Philosophy, that any country or age have produced. * Noll's Power together with his Life was of short continuance ; but he died in peace and in the full pos session of his Authority, His Station and Title passed nominally to his eldest Son Dick ; but he, having nei- *'At this period sprung up a Milton, a Locke, a Newton, a Boyle, a Dryden, &c— Pret. Cora. 240 Book5.ch. 8. ther Capacity nor Inclination to support it, soon volun tarily resigned it. Upon Dick's Resignation, the Remains of Mrs. Bull's last Office assembled themselves, and endea voured to assume the Authority of the Family, and the Management of the Affairs of the Manor; but the Lawyers soon once more dispossessed them, and took the Power into their own hands. In the mean time, one LaAvyer Hocus, to whom Noll had committed the Management of the Caledo nian Manor, becoming jealous of his brothers of the Profession in Albion, and taking his journey southward Lawyer Ho- with a whole train of Bailiffs and Banditti at his heels, fim 3. (lev- terous de- soon arrived in John Bull's Manor. Under his aus- lowTby art pices the Old Palaverium were once more permitted to procures'^heassembb3 and assume the appearance of Authority. ofest°Youn»' This Hocus was a deep designing impenetrable Fellow. Carlos. 4n(j as ne affected to act under the Authority of the Family and Mrs. Bull's Office, no one dared to ask him any questions. Of those of his own Profession on the Albion Manor some joined him, and the rest were in* sufficient to oppose him. Of his own particular schemes he made no discovery, but implicitly obeyed all or ders given him by the Palaverium ; though the Pala verium itself was not without suspicions of his designs. To put his fidelity to the utmost test, as they supposed, they put him upon some very awkAvard and rather un pleasant service ; such, as to force the habitations, and break up the doors of some of the principal Mansions on the Manor, with the Owners of which they affected to be displeased. All which he obeyed implicitly, and executed completely. At last having in thc per- 241 formance of these orders got a pretence to bring all his Book 5. ch. 8. Bailiffs and Bullies about him, and in the Neighbour hood of the Palaverium ; he surrounded their House at once, and even the Chamber where they met, with his Followers. He then plainly told them that they were not the rightful Representatives of the Bull Fa mily, nor did they constitute Mrs. Bull's Legitimate Houshold Office ; — that they had been chosen for three years only, and had themselves voted themselves per petual, Avithout the consent of the Family— that they were noAv but the mere Remains of that Houshold Of fice which had been originally chosen ; the greater part of whom were dead, or had left the Manor, Avithout their places ever having been supplied. He, therefore, advised them to send forth orders for the free choosing of a New Houshold Office, and so, to disperse them selves and leave that new chosen Houshold Avith the consent of John Bull, to settle the Affairs of the Fa mily and of the Manor. This advice was given with too much reason to be disputed ; and by one who was too much in a condition to compel obedience, to be re sisted : it was therefore implicitly obeyed . In the mean time Hocus had carried on a Corres pondence with young Carlos, the Son of the late Stew ard ; and the Family being sick of the confusion and disorder that had so long subsisted on the Manor; and hoping that the Steward's Family, taught by experi ence, Avould noAv know themselves and their station better, and act with more honesty and moderation — the choice of Representatives ran much in favour of the expelled family. And soon after the meeting of the Office, by the influence of Hocus, they voted the re- 1 1 242 Book s.ch. 8. viving of the Stewardship, and the Restoration of young Carlos, with very few limitations or restrictions. Carlos had already written to Hocus, to John Bujl, and to the Palaverium, promising the most strict attention to their Rights and Privileges, and perfect freedom Avith respect to their Holiday Dress, and all such Matters ; which at that period were thought of no small importance. And, with a few exceptions, impu nity and oblivion were also promised to all who had been engaged against his Father. All which points be ing adjusted, Carlos returned to the Manor, and resumed the Stewardship with eclat and general acclaim, BOOK VI. Chap. I. Contents The Stewardship of the Second Carlos — A most profligate Steward— and most perverted Stewardship — Sells EcclesdOwn to Lewis Baboon — and even agrees, for a pension to be paid by the said Lewis, to betray to him the Interest and Safety of the Albion Manor and Bull Family— During this Stewardship Mrs. Bull's Houshold Of fice still maintains its integrity, and supports the Interests of the Family. Bat this precipitate Restoration, as it too often happens on such occasions, through the eager desire of a few to ingratiate themselves with the new Steward, and by their admitting him without due conditions legally sanctioned, all the fruits and effects of a long and sue- Carlos restored cessful struggle, at the expence of much trouble, trea- mltations.— sure, and even life, were defeated, and done away as it mo^Profi^ were in an instant. £%ndp£ That a few of the surviving Actors in the late scenes, ^°as stew" especially some who had been most forward in urging on the Fate of the Avretched Carlos, should be sacrificed n2 244 Book 6. ch. l. as Victims to the Manes of those Avhose death they had procured, was not to be wondered at; but, that Noll and some others, who by death had given them the slip, were, in spite of the disgusting nauseousness of the un dertaking, dug out of their graves, hung up on Gibbets at the Common Place of Execution, and afterwards A singular In- buried under these Gibbets, was surely an uncommon stance of im- potent Stew- instance of weak malice, and impotent revenge . Espe- venge. cially, as however equivocal their principles, Noll was certainly a man of capacity, and had a better claim to the designation of a great Man, than most of those whom History has dignified with that appellation. And bow- ever doubtful his pretensions to religion may be, he has certainly as good a claim to the title of a saint, as the late Steward to that of a Martyr : in conferring of which, I doubt Madam Bull gave a better proof of her Policy, than of her Piety or good Sense. But these ex travagancies took their rise in the character of the im mediately succeeding times ; when the current run so strong in favour of Stewardism, that Madam Bull, in spite of her own good understanding, by the Syco- phantism of a few of the most unworthy of her Domes tics, was carried along with the stream. And no doubt, the usage she had met with from the opposite party during the Quarrel, might in some degree have biassed her sentiments. Perhaps it may not be amiss to add here a few words more particularly concerning the treatment of this Venerable Matron; Avho during those Quarrels and Squabbles between her Family and the Steward, had been much neglected and very ill used by the Family ; and indeed stripped of her jointure, her Holiday Dress 245 slighted and disused, and herself turned out of doors. Book 6. ch. l. AH this had happened as we have said principally by the influence of the well known Jack, one of the three- Sf„. J»0«hn * Bulls Mo- celebrated Brothers, but professedly, Peter's greatest tner"and ch.2> their Agent, the Caledonian Family had the greater reason to resent, and resist this treatment, that Carlos himself, when expelled the Albion Manor, after his Fa* ther's death, was hospitably received by them, and ac knowledged Steward of the Manor, and assisted in at tempting to recover the Manor of Albion, and had eVefl actually assumed the Caledonian Holiday Dress, and solemnly sworn to use, establish, and maintain it on the Manor. But at that time Old Noll soon drove him off the Premises ; and he was glad to escape with his life. Acrid with some others, having, as we have saidk received a commission and authority from the Steward to see the Old Detested Sunday Dress introduced, and established on the Caledonian Manor, set about en forcing it with great earnestness alid obstinacy. And with no less obstinacy and earnestness did the Caledo* nians set themselves to resist it. But it was in vain, that they urged, as an objection, — that the Ma terials of the Dress were too slight and cold for their climate, that the fashion of it neither suited their figure nor their fancy — and that many professed, that they would rather go in rags or stark naked, than admit such a Dress. All this was to no purpose ; for Acrid and bis Associates having always suits ready made by them, whoever they could seize upon, they would strip, and by main force thrust them into this New Dress. Many of whom, as soon as they could get out of -their bands, would tear off their detested Trimmings with indigna* tion, and sculk in the fields and woods in old blankets*, rags, and nakedness, rather than be seen in this ah* horred Dress. 257 As to the Dress not suiting their Figure or Form— Books. ch.2. it is true, neither the Fashion, Form, nor Size, were in any case to be altered ; but for this there was a ready remedy prescribed in the Old Procrustian Practice ; to which Acrid and his Colleagues had not the least aver sion. Thus, if the person was too short for the Dress, there were Engines to stretch him to the required stand ard ; and if too tall, it was only chopping off the neces- shocking Cru- sary quantity at either end — if the body or limbs were crid and his too large, they had Engines for squeezing them till they "" JU " should fit ; particularly, if any one had too lusty a leg, they had an iron engine called the Bootikens, or Boots, in which by means of driving a Avcdge, the leg was squeezed often till the marrow burst through the bone, and the person fainted for pain,* and some actually died under these operations. As to cases Avhere the Dress was only too large and full, it Avas held no ob jection by these Fashion-mongers and their Fitters-on ; it was indeed rather reckoned a mark of gentility and gracefulness, that the Dress should hang some what loose and negligently upon them. By the above means, though they could not suc ceed in driving the wretched Caledonians to receive the prescribed Dress, they succeeded in driving a great many of them into direct defiance of the Steward and his Authority. A step, for which, hoAvever they might be justified in point of provocation, they could by no means be justified in point of prudence. For this gave occasion for Acrid and his Coadjutors, with some pre tence of law, to proceed to greater extremities Avith * This is a strict and literal fact. 258 Book 6. ch.2. them. — It was now made criminal in the highest degree for any number of persons in the Caledonian Sunday Dress to be seen together ; so that they were glad to sculk and hide themselves in the fields and woods, where they were hunted and shot doAvn like wild beasts; and it was lawful for any person to kill them whenever he could ; and great numbers of them were actually shot, and killed, by the Steward's Sportsmen and Hunters. Nor were these shocking cruelties of the Steward and his Agents confined to one sex. — The Chief Article of this Dress was a kind of cloak or mantle that with little variation of form suited either sex ; so that women as well as men were involved in the consequences qf these barbarities : of which we shall relate one instance, that for atrocity cannot perhaps be matched in the me moirs of mankind. An unparai- Two simple females, the one an old woman above stance of threescore, the other a young girl scarce twenty, were ^™Hberate°iy "3otn susPecte(I °f declining the imposed Dress, the Old perpetrated Woman seldom went abroad, and hence had little occa- upon two ' harmless Fe- sion to exhibit any Holiday Dress. The youne one, males, for re- '¦' ° * fusing the Avith others of her family, had been noted for their un- prescribed Dress. conquerable contempt of the prescribed suit ; and hence, she with a brother and sister both younger than herself, had been obliged to fly from their father's house, and conceal themselves in the dens and caverns of the mountains and woods. One day, to get a little suste nance, she and her sister ventured to visit this Old Wo man, whom they knew to be a good humane-hearted person ; when they were watched and betrayed. They 259 were all three seized in the Old Woman's House, in a Book 6. ch. 2. private plain old-fashioned family Dress,* and carried before some of the Steward's Agents. The Younger Sister, being in a manner but a child, their Father was allowed to purchase her life for a hundred pounds. The Elder Sister and the Old Woman persisting to re fuse the prescribed Dress, were both condemned to death. And the sentence was executed by a mode of Death that for wanton cruelty was never equalled by the most barbarous Tyrant, Jew, Heathen, or Anti- christian. They were tied to a stake at Ioav water in the mouth of a River, to be dashed and drowned piece meal by the returning tide. The Young Woman, after being awhile dashed about and sometimes suffocated, Avas taken out of the water, and urged to compliance ; and required to say God bless the Steward, and they would save her life ; she replied that she Avished all men blest — but that would not satisfy them. Her compa nion then struggling under the immediate suffocation of death was pointed out to her, and she was asked — what she thought of that sight ? Her answer discovered the utmost firmness and resolution in what she thought a matter of conscience. And she was again committed to the waves. At last in the agony of suffocation she was heard to cry out something, which the spectators said, ¦was — Bless the SteAvard — and she was again taken out of the Water. But Avhen recovered, she refused to con firm what she was supposed to have said in her agony. So she was finally recommitted to the stake, and droAvned. .11 — "¦"¦¦'— — - ¦' " —-¦¦¦¦ — ¦¦ - i i in ¦ T * Engaged in Family Worship. — Pret. Cum. ll2 260 Book 6. ch.2. To these unfortunate persons and many others, wan tonly sacrificed about this Affair, nothing was imputed but their non-compliance with the prescribed Holiday Dress and denying the Steward's Authority in the semat- ters. In the present instance particularly, the two per sons were acknowledged to have been of a quiet, harm less, innocent, and even pious, life and conversation. But it Avillbe said, they were weak, wilful, and igno rant, — and sacrificed their lives through mere obstinacy, in a matter of such indifference. — That they were weak and ignorant may perhaps be granted ; but that their opposition proceeded from mere wilfulness and obsti nacy, can with no reason be affirmed . Every one the least acquainted with Human Nature knows how much the influence of custom, habit, and education, exceeds that of reason, argument, or authority, or even the love of life, on persons of a sanguine temper, with weak judgment, and strong imagination. By such an imagi nation, the Sunday's Dress was connected with the Sun day's Duties, and the Sunday's Duties with the most im portant interest of the individual and of society. And upon such an Association, enthusiastically embraced, was founded the perseverance and fortitude of those un happy Victims. But if we accuse those persons of weakness, delu sion, and obstinacy, for sacrificing their lives in a mat ter that we reckon indifferent, — what shall we say, or what shall we think, of the SteAvard and his execrable Agents, — who thus drove them to distraction and des peration, and then put them to death ; for a matter that we know they held in itself perfectly indifferent. And 261 as to the end they proposed by it, — the subjecting every Book 6. ch. s. thing, even the thought, mind, and soul, to the arbi trary Will of the Steward, — it was worse than indif-Th* execrable J 7 Design of ferent ; it was wicked, detestable, diabolical, damn- thtake it out as they had occasion for it. From this Bank Carlos stopped all Issues at once, and converted the whole money in it to his own use ; by which a number of Persons and Families were reduced to the greatest distress.. Indeed this Carlos Avas so com plete a knave, so unblushingly perfidious, and disho nest, that nothing but the too habitual indulgence to Stewards could have saved him from the Gallows. Another most presumptuous device of this Stew ard for extorting money was, the calling in question all Annuls the special Privileges, Bights, and Tenures, of particular ai^Corpora- Societies, Companies, and Corporations, on the Manor, m°aks^s thaen* by what was called an Action or Writ of Quo War- ^uerncehwsae, thof ranto, — requiring them to sheAV by what Warrant they them with i held those Privileges, and how they obtained them. m- mense sums. 272 Book 6. ch. 4. A thing in many instances noAv absolutely impossible to be done ; as some of them Avere older than the origin of the Bull Family itself on the Manor; so that in ge neral they had no resource but to purchase them a neAV at the Steward's price, or entirely to lose them. To this it would have been a just, and highly appropriate reply, for John Bull to have issued a Quo Warranto— for the SteAvard to shew by what Warrant or Instru ment he and his Predecessors obtained, and held, their v Office and pretended Prerogatives. For the purpose of discovering those Privileged parties who were most able to pay, and for getting pos session of their Charter Deeds ; Carlos employed a special and staunch Instrument, one Jaffier, Chief Cadi or Judge of the Steward's Court. This man seems in Character to have been the exact prototype of Sir Deputy Gibcat, the present Diabolus Dispensitoris of our day. The Steward himself had found a pretence to bring in question the Charter of Ludstown, the greatest and most important Corporation on the Manor ; and the matter being tried in the Steward's Court be fore the said Cadi, the event was infallible. Induced by this example, to which he added both promises and threalenings, the same Agent prevailed upon many other Privileged Bodies to surrender their Charter Deeds without a trial, for the renewing or returning of which great sums were extorted. It would be endless to relate all the infamous prac tices of this Stewardship to extort money. But still against all these John Bull had, then, a firm and im pregnable barrier, which kept them within some bounds ; but which, alas ! is now no more, — or rather, has now disasters. 273 changed sides, and become the greatest strength of the Book 6. ch. 4. opposite Party, — I mean the LoAver Chamber of Mrs. Bull's Office ;— between Avhich and the Steward's Of-^otJ™'$l fice and Agents there was a constant struggle during "','? ,his Per- ° ss a tnlious Stew- the whole of his Stewardship. That despicable adula- a''(lsn|P , ,!>}' r r the Fidelity tory practice of echoing back every intimation or de- of Mrs. Bull's J r s J Office— as yet mand from the SteAvard, or from the Steward's Agents ; pure from that Commerce of and much more, that infamous commerce of Prostitu- Prostitution, tion between the Steward's Office and Mrs. Bull's Hous- aii iis present hold, noAv so notorious, being then unknoAvn. But to bring this profligate and opprobrious Stew ardship to a conclusion, — it may be observed, — that, as Carlos had no legitimate Children, his Brother Ya gob Avas the nearest lineal Heir to the Stewardship. But this Yagob was a zealous Peterkin ; a blind bi- gotted dupe to all the wretched Mummery and Impos ture of the Notorious Peter, so long abjured and de tested by the Bull Family. On this account it had been frequently in agitation to exclude him from the succession ; especially as the few remaining Adherents of that slavish and debasing system, had even during Carlos's lifetime been suspected, and accused, of plots to murder him, through impatience, and hope of sub verting the Avhole Constitution of the Stewardship, and Customs of the Manor, by the immediate accession of his bigotted Brother. Respecting this Carlos, it ought not to. be passed over in silence, as it is a circumstance affecting the for tunes of the Bull Family to this day, — That though he had no legitimate Children, he had great abundance of Bastards, — all of whom he made Great Men, Dons, and1 Titulates, and apportioned out to them the fairest Man.- N N 274 BookG. ch. 5. sions, and finest Demsnes, on John Bull's Manor. By the original constitution of the Manor there were large Ca^os dies tracts of land set apart to defray the general expences gitimate is- of the Manor and Stewardship, under the management sue.— Bulla- r' & vishestiiePa- of the Steward. But in fact these Demesnes have con- trimony of the steward- stantly been profused on pimps, parasites, strumpets, Trulls and and bastards; Avhile the Family are harrassed and im- 11 iioser S'dI- poverished Avith contributions to support the necessary KCe"heldtS at expence of the Stewardship. And they had especially tins day. been lavished with unparalleled profusion by Carlos on his Bastards : and to the great disgrace and injury of John Bull's Family are held by them and their de scendants to a large extent at this day. Chap. V. Contents.— The Stewardship of the Second Yagob — This Yagob a bi- gotted Peterkin— but takes the most solemn Oaths to preserve the Privileges of the Family, and especially to protect John Bull's Mo ther inviolate in all her Rights and Immunities— depending no doubt upon Peter to absolve him from all these oaths, to which from the mo ment he made them be never paid the smallest regard— Begins with impatience to fill all places of Trust with Peterkins— is universally forsaken — of which some mortifying instances. The steward- On Carlos's death, notwithstanding the great clamour ship of the se- 3 <= cond Yagob that had been raised at the prospect of a Peterkin suc- Peterkin sue- cessor, his Brother Yagob succeeded, not only without opposition, opposition, but with considerable acclaim. This Yagob was certainly a person of a more ac tive Character, and capable of more industry and ap- 275 plication in his designs, than his Brother Carlos; but Book 6. ch. 5. being also possessed of more zeal, and less discretion, in his infatuated attachment to Peterkinism, those very qualifications senredonly to stimulate his course, and to accelerate and secure his ruin. This Fellow, then, confident in his own vigour and capacity, was determined to bring John Bull and his Family entirely and effectually under the yoke. And being fully persuaded, both of his Right and The vigorous & J r ' & Character & Power to do so, he set about the business like" a man of decisive P<>- spirit and resolution; and soon brought it to a very gob. decisive conclusion. It is true, on his first entrance on the SteAvardship, conscious of the suspicious he lay un der, he made a solemn declaration of his determination to maintain thc LaAvs and Customs of the Manor, the Rights and Privileges of the Bull Family and of all the Folk upon the Estate; — and especially, to support and protect John Bull's Mother from all injury and wrong. Perhaps he thought this part of his declaration the more necessary, as his designs with respect to the Old Lady were more especially suspected, on account of his known connection Avith Peter ; who still pre tended to be her husband, and to command and dis pose of her and all that belonged to her. And Yagob's conduct soon put it past a doubt that he meant to deliver her and all her concerns entirely into his hands. As to the first part of his Declaration, the main taining the Laws of the Manor and the Rights of the Family, he was perhaps perfectly sincere, according to his conception of the subject. For with thc Avhole of this Race of Stewards it Avas a fixed and irreversible Principle, that the only permanent and fundamental NN 2 276 Book 6. ch. 5. LaAV of the Manor was, the Will and Mandate of the Steward ; and the Right of the Family and Folk, whom he held as his Property, Avas just Avhat he should be pleased to alloAV them. And in promising to consult their Good and Prosperity, he professed no more than that regard which every Possessor has for his Herds and Flocks, and the prosperous state of his own pos sessions. As every Farmer and Owner of a Herd of Cattle, — or Flock of Sheep, certainly takes pleasure to , see them numerous, healthy, and in good plight ; so this The Masrnani- man, who Avas not naturally of a malignant disposition, m"nts of this might very sincerely promise and purpose, to keep his Pastor Po- Flock m a p;ood and thriving condition ; ready to be - converted to use or profit, — to slaughter or sale, to the best advantage, whenever occasion or conveniency should call for it. And as he meant, Avhen he had brought the Bull Family to that state which he pro posed, that all their Property should be at his disposal, — or as his Grandfather proposed, — " to take the Money of his People whenever he wanted it, without the for mality and interruption of a Palaverium" — he might no doubt even Avish to see them successful in their occupa tions and prosperous in tlieir affairs. Just as the frugal Farmer feeds his Cattle, keeps them clean and whole- some, is even anxious to procure for them the best pasture and soundest provender ; and, if he is a good husbandman, beside the profit of their labour, and produce of their milk and fleeces, has really no little pleasure in seeing them healthy and in high plight, acting their gambols around him and bounding with life and spirit in their pastures. Yet he feels no re morse or repugnance, when Avanted, to slaughter them 277 for his Table, or sell them to the Butcher for his profit. Book 6. ch, 5. This is an exact representation of the Genuine Spirit and Principle of Stewardism in general ; and expresses the real nature and motive of the concern they have, or profess to have, for the prosperity of their People. And though by thc Custom and Constitution of the Manor of Albion, it is, or ought to be, an exception, and for this very purpose Mrs. Bull's Office holds its existence ; yet there is not perhaps at this day in Terra Cognitia, another Manor where this Principle is so pas sively, so uniformly, so securely, and so fully acted upon, as in this same Manor of Albion. And this full, passive, uniform security, is derived from the very means and instrument intended, and provided, for the purpose of preventing and opposing it, — Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office. As to that part of Yagob's Decla ration which regarded John Bull's Mother, — from the moment he got possession of the Stewardship, he seems to have made no account of it Avhatsoever. He im mediately dispatched a Special Messenger to Peter, to treat of putting him in Possession of the Old Lady's House and Lands, and of subjecting her with all her Houshold and Family entirely to his Authority. The experience of Peter's pride, presumption, and cruelty, had left such an impression on the Bull Fa mily, that it was a fixed Law of the Manor, that no person who professedly adhered to him should be ca- • pable of holding any Office, Trust, or Place of Dis tinction whatever, upon the Manor. This LaAV in the present instance had been dispensed with, by the con sent of the Family, in favour of Yagob's admission to the Stewardship. And no sooner had he got Posses- 278 Book 6. ch. 5. sion, than by one Act of his pretended, absolute, and unlimited Power, he swept away this and all other ob stacles and incumbrances Avhatsoever that stood in his Avay. Having determined that his OAvn Will should be Obtrudes his the only Law, he began by some steps that were di- Peterkins in- j 7 a j r to every De-rectly contrary to the most express and essential LaAvs of the Manor; particularly to appoint professed Pc- terkins to Places of Trust and Power in every Depart ment; and that without requiring them to take the Oaths prescribed as essential to the holding such Places. Against this gross violation of the Laws and Constitu tion of the Manor, when the Palaverium began to re monstrate, he expressed great indignation ; and dis missed them entirely. He now called together a set of base corrupt Sy cophants, subject to his OAvn appointment; Avhose Of fice it Avas, not to make Laws, but to apply and execute the Laws of the Manor as they already stood. And having draAvn up a Declaration — " That it was the Law of the Manor of Albion, that the Steward could dispense with, and set aside all Laws whenever he saw reason or occasion:" he got this declaration signed, and sanctioned by eleven out of twelve of those base Sycophants. This Declaration he caused to be issued forth by proclamation through the Manor in the fol lowing Apothegms.—" I. That the LaAvs of the Manor of Albion are the Steward's Laws.— II. That it is the Indisputable indisputable Privilege of the Albion Steward to dis- Slewardical . . , . T Apothegms, pense Avithnis own Laivs, Avhen particular occasions or reasons shall require it.— III. That of these reasons and occasions the Steward himself is the sole Judge. — IV- And that this is not a Trust invested in, or granted 279 to, the Steward ; but essential to the Office, and can Book 6. ch. 5. never be taken from it." Thus by the corrupt decision of ten or twelve prostitute Parasites, were the ivhole Laws of the Manor of Albion abrogated, and its Con stitution entirely subverted and overthroAvn. In conformity with this decision, Yagob began now to fill every Office and Place of Trust and Power Avith the very persons that were expressly ex cluded from them: and all the established oaths and obligations to be laid upon them for the due dis charge of their Offices according to the Laws of the Manor, were dispensed with ; because it Avas not in tended that they should discharge them according to the Laws of the Manor. The highest and most important Office in the ap pointment of the Steward is the Deputy Stewardship of Pat Blunt's Manor of Green Erin ; and though this was held by a near Relation of his own family, yet he, not being of the right Stamp, and refusing to turn Peter kin and betray his Trust, to the faithful discharge of which he had sworn, Yagob turned him out, and a staunch Peterkin was put in his Stead. Thus far John Bull looked quietly on, andAvhatever he thought, said little. In the Bull Family and on the Manor of Albion there are many Offices of Honour, Profit, and Trust, to which it does not belong to the Steward to appoint; as pertaining to Privileged Bodies, Avho had the Right of choosing their own Members, and appointing their own Officers. Of all these Rights and Privileges, Yagob, by his own Sovereign Will, chose to make no account at all. Of these Privileged Bodies several 280 Book 6. ch. 5. were particularly connected with Madam Bull's Esta blishment, and are generally called Kyrical or Kirkly Bodies. To one of the most venerable and distin guished of these, at Grantabridge, Yagob sent his Obtrudes a mandate to admit a Peterkin of a certain description a1n0nkimportt0- called a monkey* to the highest Honours of their So- fii'the Gram- ciety, without requiring of him the usual Qualifications , Community, or, his submitting to the usual oaths and obligations of Fidelity and Trust, which the Constitution of their so ciety prescribed. This Mandate the Grantabridgian Body absolutely refused to comply with; as what would in effect have amounted to the voiding of the whole Constitution and Frame of their Society, and the forfeiture of their Charter. Though Yagob Avas determined that such presumption should not pass un punished, he found himself somewhat at a loss hoAV to effect this punishment ; as there was no Court, Office, or Authority on the Manor, to punish men for a strict regard and conformity to the established Laws and Customs. But this defect Yagob in his Divine Inde- feasable Right made little difficulty in supplying. Among the Usurpations and abuses which had been solemnly abolished for ever on the Restoration of the late Carlos, was,, a particular Court called the Steward's High Kirkly Commission Court. This Court Avas indeed an old remnant of Peter's Usurpation, Avhich the Stew ards found convenient to retain, till John Bull demanded, and obtained its express and absolute abolition. This Court was just what Yagob found he wanted, being * So called, perhaps, because with the Form and Semblance of Men, they renounce all the active functions and characters of Manhood, and the chief uses and ends of human existence ; and professed to be wholely de voted to the Mummery and Monkey tricks of Peter. 281 principally composed of Kirkly Persons, the whole Book 6. ch. a. nominated and appointed by himself; and who in their proceeding acknowledged no Law, Rule, or Custom, but the Steward's Will and Pleasure. At Yagob's word and will this Court instantly started into Being; and again existed in all its undefined and indefinable power. Before this arbitrary Tribunal was cited the Major And for at- Domo or Head Officer of the Grantabridgian Corpora- resist d"epo- tion, Avith all his Coadjutors and Counsellors. And jor Domo, being convicted of conforming to the established Laws theirCharter. of their Society, in refusing the demanded Honours to the Monkey, the Major Domo was sentenced to be de posed from his Place and Office ; and the rest were re primanded and dismissed, with orders to send in the Charter-deed of their Corporation to the Steward's Office. Of the same description as the Grantabridgian Corporation, Was another, that of Bosford. These so cieties formed each a kind of Pantapaideia or General School of Discipline for all th© Youth of the Manor; and were richly endowed for that purpose. Yagob, therefore, thought it of the utmost importance to obtain an absolute authority there. And this he could only hope to do by intruding his Peterkins into all the Chief Offices and appointments as fast as possible, al though by the fundamental constitution of the Soci- Attempts the ety not one of them could be admitted. Accordingly, s^ ^ about the same time that he sent his Mandate to Gran- ™eeta JJ^J) tabridge to confer its honours on the Monkey, he sent J|™ Rf^ a similar Mandate to Bosford, to order the Chief Mem- *he Bosford " Community. bers of the Madelen School, to Avhom it belonged to oo 282 Book 6. ch. 5. choose their own Officers, to elect one Tony Bumpken, a Peterkin of most profligate and infamous character, for their Head and Governor. But they, disregarding this illegal Mandate, chose one of their own Society into the Office. For this contumacy they were also cited before the same Kirkly Court, and their Deputy Governor and some of their principal Members being deposed from their Place and Station, they were dis missed with threatenings of further punishment if they persisted in their non-compliance. But the profligacy of the former Nomination being so notorious, that the Steward himself was ashamed of it, he named to them another of his servile Tools, but they stdl refused to obey the mandate. Notwithstanding, the person no minated by the Steward took forcible possession ; and the Steward seized on the Charter and Privileges of the Society; and expelled and further punished some of its principal Members. Yagob, unsuc- Yagob finding but little success with the Kirkly subduing the Class, and that his influence in Madam Bull's Hous- ^rkr1/c^se'holdmetwithsomiichJohs*ruction, bethought him of Confidence11 anotIier Class on whose entire compliance and support to that of the he believed he might confidently reckon. This was the Meoofliaw. ' Men of Law ; of whom the Stewards had every where introduced the custom of keeping a whole Train in pay about their Persons and Office. We have already intimated that Yagob by his own Divine Indefeasible Authority had swept away all such Laws and Statutes of the Manor as stood in his way, and particularly such as forbade the introducing of Peterkins, into Offices and Places of Trust, especially in John Bull's Mother's Houshold; but finding the 283 Folk on the Manor in general, and those of Madam Book 6. ch. 5. Bull's Houshold in particular, rather untractable to his purposes, he resolved to have recourse to the Lawyers ; who being a favorite corps, and more immediately de pendant upon him, he had no doubt but he might reckon upon their absolute compliance, with any thing he could propose. And with their aid, he thought he might set all opposition at defiance. He therefore drew up for them to sign, an engagement, implying that they would stand by him in abolishing all the LaAvs and Customs of the Manor for the exclusion of Peter- kins and for the security of Madam Bull's Family. This engagement, having assembled the Corps, he de sired one of their own Body to propose and explain to them, and to command all who did not choose to com ply with it, to lay down their Pens and Green Bags and all the Implements of their Profession. — When, to his utter astonishment and confusion, the whole Body, Tr , ' J Yagob meets two or three professed Peterkins excepted, laid down with a most *¦ . mortifying their Instruments. Yagob, who was himself present disappoint- to secure, and enjoy, the success of this experiment, stood a while confounded and silent, as if thunderstruck. At last, — as these were a sort of People he could not do without, — he said they might take up their Instruments again ; but that he should not for the future do them the honour to consult them. ^ Another mortifying instance occurred to convince Yagob how little he could depend upon the support of even this his favorite Corps, in the course he Avas pur suing. In the insolence of his absolute power he had ordered the Domestic Officers of Madam Bull's Hous hold to publish in their respective departments the ooi! 284 Book 6. ch. 5. abolition of all those Laws and Customs of the Manor which existed for the maintenance of Madam Bull and her Family. Now, besides that this was enjoining upon them a kind of Felo-de-se, they had every indi vidual of them expressly taken an oath to observe and maintain those very Laws and Customs ; as indeed the Steward himself had also done. The Head Steward, therefore, of Madam Bull's Houshold and six more of the principal Domestics of the Family, drew up a most cautious and modest Petition to the Steward, begging to be excused from publishing this Order. This Peti tion Yagob chose to construe into a Libel upon his Person and Office, and downright treason against his absolute and uncontrollable Power. He therefore clapt them all up in prison, and ordered them to be brought to trial before the Steward's High Court ; where he had no doubt of obtaining a sentence to his mind. But to his great mortification and disappointment, in spite of all the efforts of some of the Judges, his Creatures, they were fairly and honourably acquitted. These being persons of high dignity, great influ ence, and in much veneration with the Bull Family, their acquittal filled the whole Manor Avith joy and ex ultation; which spread itself, if not as quick as thought, at least as quick as sound, — For as soon as their ac quittal Avas pronounced in Court, a shout of universal applause was raised ; Avhich spread itself, and was al most instantaneously echoed through the whole extent of the Manor. Yagob was carousing amidst his Law yers, to whom at this time he paid a particular atten tion, and had got them all around him, when the sound of this rolling shout of applause reached them ; and be- 285 ing informed of the cause, the Avhole joined in a loud Book 6. ch. 5. and universal roar of joy and acclaim. Yagob was struck with astonishment at such a loud and sudden burst of acclamation, and sent out one of his Attendants to learn the cause — Avho soon returning, with great seeming indif ference said, — ' it was nothing but the Clerks and Law yers huzzaing for the news of the Acquittal of Madam Bull's Domestics.' The Caitiff turned pale, his lips Anotheraiarm- *- ' r ing disap- quivered — and as soon as he could speak, he said, — pointment. Do you call that Nothing ! ! ! But recovering himself— he added — But it shall be the worse for them! And such was the obstinacy of this infatuated victim of his own folly, that though he saw his Measures to be thus execrated by the whole Bull Family, and every voice on the Manor raised in exultation at his defeats and fai lure, he still determined to proceed. Lewis Baboon, who had heard that Yagob could not depend upon his own Lawyers, little acquainted, as it would seem, with the Character of John Bull, of fered to send him 30,000 LaAvyers, Bailiffs, Bullies, and Banditti, who should drub John Bull and all his Family into compliance. But this, Yagob, rather bet ter acquainted with the Bull Character than Lewis, wisely declined. 286 Book 6. ch. 5. Chap. VI. Contents. — The Stewardship of Yagob continued— Billy D'Orasis, Ya gob's Son in Law, invited to the Manor by the Bull Family — on his ar rival Yagob steals away like a detected Thief, and throws himself on the Protection of Lewis Baboon, the greatest Enemy of the Family It is debated in the Palaverium whether Billy should be immediately constituted Steward — or only temporary Deputy — Billy declares that he will be no man's Deputy — it is decided that he should be invested in the Stewardship jointly with Moll his AVife, Yagob's Eldest Daughter — he protests that Moll's Authority should be merely nominal — in which Molly, like a good Wife, entirely acquiesces. It is probable Yagob might now begin to suspect that it was time to check his career, and look a little before him. During his headlong course of folly, presump tion, and perfidy, John Bull had hitherto looked on in silence, but not with indifference. He was sensible of the confusion and disasters that had attended his efforts to do himself justice in the Father's time, and was loath to throAV all again into disorder. But some spirited in dividuals of the Family had begun to bestir themselves, and to look out for a remedy. Billy D'Orasis had mar ried Yagob's Eldest Daughter, and was Steward, or Billy D'Orasis Bailiff of Nick Frog's Manor. As Yagob had no male the'Buii Fa- Issue, Billy had been long considered as next Heir to m']y' the Stewardship, both in- right of his Wife, and also as being himself the Son of Yagob's Eldest Sister. To him, therefore, the Bull Family had begun to turn their eyes. But just at this very time Yagob, who had A young Ya-been fifteen years married to a second wife, Avithout cub makes . his appear- having had any children by her, had a son born; so opportunely^ opportunely, that it Avas suspected by many, and pro- c"rcumstane-rfessed to be believed by more, that it Avas but a feigned "IpS^'pregnancy, and pretended birth ; and that a suppositi tious Child was introduced to retain the succession to 287 the Stewardship in the poAver of the Peterkins ; — for Book 6. ch. & Billy and his Spouse Avere both Antipeterkins or Re- formados. There were certainly many strong circumstances, beside the long barrenness of the Stewardess, to throw suspicion upon this business. Nan, another Daughter of Yagob's by the former Wife, though living in her Father's House, was, it is said, suspiciously kept at a distance from her Mother-in-law during her pregnancy, and Avas not permitted to be present at the Birth, real or pretended. It was a standing rule of the Family that the Chief Domestic of Madam Bull's Houshold should be present at the birth of the Heir apparent to the Stewardship— this Rule it was also contrived to elude, by committing, as we have, seen Madam Bull's Chief Domestic to prison. These are certain facts : besides which, many doubtful and singular circum stances are reported ; which it would be too tedious here to recount. If there was a real Birth, considering the circumstances under which it took place, it was certainly conducted with most astonishing indiscretion and want of foresight. To counterbalance all this, stands the Fact, that Yagob and his Family have al ways exhibited the affection and interest of parents to ward this child and his descendants. And I believe the o-eneral opinion now prevails that there was a real Birth. But the incurable attachment of Yagob to Peter kin Principles, and Arbitrary Power, were now too clear ; and it was equally clear, that the Son would be brought up in the highest strain of these principles ; so that little regard was paid to the Birth or no Birth, the 288 Book 6. ch. 6. existence or non-existence, of such a Person. For it was now found by indisputable experience, that the Principles of Peterkinism were altogether incompatible with the due exercise of the Stewardship of the Manor of Albion, according to the Constitution and Custom of that Manor, and the Privileges of the Bull Family. To the influence of his Peterkin Wife, had generally been ascribed the obstinacy and perfidious conduct of the first Carlos ; and the consequent miseries of the Manor, as well as his OAvn fate and the future fortunes of his Family, may all be traced to the same source. And though the second Carlos professed his adherence to John Bull's Mother, yet his principles were knoAvn to be the same as the rest of his Family. And Yagob took care after his death to publish a declaration, and proofs, that he died a Professed Peterkin. Yagob, with less art, and more zeal, scorned to conceal his Principles, and did not long dissemble his designs ; which soon brought the matter to an issue. And from henceforth it was fixed, as a fundamental Ail Peterkins part of the Constitution of the Manor, that no Peterkin the steward- nor any person married to a Peterkin, should be capa- ' 'p- ble of holding the SteAvardship of the Manor of Albion. Many persons of distinction in the Bull Family had, as we have said, begun to turn their eyes to Billy D'Orasis ; and had actually invited him to come to their relief. This Billy was a Fellow possessed of boldness and ambilion enough for such an undertaking ; and being restrained by no nice scruples of honour or Character and fine feelings of his own, nor any delicacy towards his BmyD'Ora-Father-in-laAV, he readily engaged in the Business. ws" And being determined, as it would seem, from the first, 289 to proceed with a strong hand, he began by collecting nook 6. ch. 6. a great Rout of Lawyers, Bailiffs, Bravoes, and Ban ditti, of the Frog Family, to assist him in his Enter- prize ; whom he proposed to reward by Places and Ap pointments on the Bull Manor, and with the Lands and Plunder of such as should adhere to his Father-in-law. He had also got together a great quantity of Water- craft to transport all his Preparation across the Water that lay between the tAvo Manors. The News of this Preparation soon reached Ya gob, and seems to have opened his eyes at once. He immediately stopped short in his course, and even at- Yagob cheeks his CtLr**ov — tempted to tread back the steps he had taken. He dis- but too late. placed all his newly appointed Peterkins, and filled their Places with legitimate Officers — reinstated the Madelen School in its Rights and Privileges ; and re stored all the Charters and Immunities of other Privi leged Societies, which had been lately wrested from them. He now particularly affected to pay great at tention to the Head Steward and other Domestics of Madam Bull's Houshold, — those very Persons Avhose Acquittal, and Liberation from Prison, he had a little before so much resented. — He sent for them, very se riously asked their advice, and Avhat they thought best for him to do, at such a crisis. And they very can didly and honestly advised him to let the established Laws and Customs of the Manor take their course— and especially to assemble Mrs. Bull's Houshold Office ; which' Was the proper Guardian of the LaAvs and Con stitution of the Manor, and of the Rights of tlie People upon it ; and which, for that very reason, Yagob from, p p 290 Book 6. ch. G. his Accession to the Stewardship had but once assem bled, and probably never intended to assemble more. Whether or not Yagob was sincerely disposed to follow the whole of this Advice, he had no opportunity of discovering. He had already deservedly lost all af fection, consequence, and credit, with the Bull Fa- Ya§ob.d?se^"mily ; and Billy being now landed on the Manor, peo- even his own p]e 0f an conditions began to flock to him, and to as- Daughters, r , betakes him- sure him of their support in setting things to right. Baboon. Even some of the chief persons about the Steward's Of fice, and a number of the Men of Law kept in pay by it, whom Yagob had got about him, deserted him, and joined Billy. Upon this Yagob's spirit and resolution seem entirely to have deserted him. He retired to his Family Residence, and there he found, that even his Daughter Nan, lately married, had with her Spouse gone off to Billy D'Orasis and her Sister — the two Daughters had been by their Mother's friends bred Re- formados. The desertion of his daughter Nan and her Husband affected Yagob deeply ; but more with a sense of his Misfortunes, than any regret for his Mis conduct. He exclaimed — How Avretched must I be, whom even my own Child has forsaken ! From this moment Yagob seems to have given up all efforts to maintain himself in the SteAvardship ; and retiring pri vately from the Manor, he betook himself to the Man sion and protection of Lewis Baboon, whether he had before sent his Wife and Child. It is probable nothing was further from Yagob's thought at this time, than that of entirely losing the Stewardship, or of never returning to the Manor. It 291 is Avonderful how the most absurd prejudices, when ac-Book 6.ch.6. commodated to our interest, and confirmed by habit, will assume all the force of rational and established principles. Yagob had imbibed such a conviction of the sacredness of his Character, and indefeasibility of his Right to the Stewardship and Manor, that he con ceived it impossible they could ever be effaced or lost. And he expected, that, as in his father's time, after having involved themselves in confusion and anarchy, the Folk on the Manor would be glad to recall him upon his oAvn terms, or Avith as little restriction as they had clone his Brother. That his Daughter and Son-in- law would attempt, or consent, to assume the immedi ate Possession of the Stewardship, was a thing, that with his notions of the sacredness and inviolability of his own Possession and Character, probably never en tered his mind. But luckily, BiUy> with a great share of selfishness and ambition, was not troubled with any of those scruples of honour or delicacy that might in terfere with an opportunity that promised to gratify his ambition beyond his utmost hopes : and Molly his spouse was, in every sense of the word, really a good Wife, and entirely resigned to the will and views of her Husband. Yagob having implicitly abandoned all exercise of Billy D'Orasis, the Stewardship, Billy, without invitation or scruple, ™',Upip ai$ took immediate Possession of the Steward's Residence cepTs^'a'nd with all its appurtenances ; and this indeed before his stewardshi1! Father-in-law had finally quitted them ; — having with incredible impudence, not to say insolence, sent orders to him at midnight while in bed, to turn out with all his attendants; and commanded his OAvn People to take immediate possession of the Premises. The pp2 292 Book 6. ch. 6. Avrefched Yagob finding himself entirely forsaken, quietly took himself off. And though he stole out of the Manor very privately, he needed not to have been so very careful to conceal his Flight, for nobody seemed much disposed to hinder him : Billy no doubt consi dering his voluntary retreat as the best way of getting quietly rid of him. Nor on this occasion did that ge neral confusion and disorder, that Yagob reckoned upon, take place ; indeed scarce the least disturbance oc curred on the Manor. This shews the difference between a Manor so Customed, and so Constitnted as the Bull Manor and Family, and Manors in general, especially on Terra- firm ; where the Stewards have for the most part as sumed the entire possession to themselves, and the Folk on the Estate are mere Vassals, or Nothing. On John Bull's Manor every one considers him self as a member of the Family, knows he is something, and has something, independent of Stewardships and Stewards : about whom he would give himself little concern, if they will but let him alone — if they Would but < eat their pudding and hold their tongue,' and keep their hands out of his pocket, — nor would he grudge them their pudding Avell plumbed, if they would only forbear picking the plumbs out of his. Thus, during all this bustle about the Steward and Steward ship, the Family lived very quietly, and minded their OAvn business. This left a few leading men of the Family at liberty to consult, and act coolly and deliberately in settling the Stewardship and providing against such pretensions and attempts as Yagob had engaged in, for the future. 293 As the most legitimate mode of consulting and Book 6, ch. 6. declaring the General WU1 of the Family on the AI- bion Manor, had ahvays been by the two Chambers of Mrs. Bull's Office, it was agreed that a new choice of these should be made, and that they should settle the Stewardship and future Economy of the Manor and Family. These being met, the first subject of their delibera tion was, whether they should take Yagob at his word, Refuses to hold or rather hjs deed, and consider the Stewardship as re- ^a™ f0aTb^ nounced and vacant, and accordingly fill it up by a j^Jh"„d '„"," new Appointment — or, whether they should only ap- tains " au- point a substitute, or locum-tenens, to conduct the Bu siness of the Steward's Office in his absence, till Mat ters could be settled between him and them. Each of these proposals had a strong Party in its favour, and the Meeting was nearly equally divided between them. It Avas perfectly understood that both Parties had Billy in their eye — whether to fill the NeAv Appointment as Steward, or to stand locum-tenens for his Predecessor. But Billy gave them fair Notice — that if they intended only a Deputy or locum-tenens, he was not their man ; for he would be Second or Substitute to no man ; but would return whence he came, and leave them to settle their own affairs in their own way. — Billy knew per fectly well what he was doing. — This of leaving them to themselves was just Avhat Yagob wished and expected, and what the wise among them dreaded and feared. — Billy's Declaration had the intended effect. The Pro posal for a New Steward soon had a decided Majority, and it Avas determined that the Stewardship should be immediately, and without reserve, conferred on Billy 294 Book 6. ch. 6. and Molly his Spouse jointly. — For as the hereditary relation to the Stewardship Avas in the first degree im mediately in Moll, it was determined that her Right and Claim should be expressly acknowledged in the Appointment. But Billy at the same time declared that he would allow her no interference in the Exercise of the Stewardship ; and Molly, who, as we have said, was really a good wife, entirely acquiesced in all this. BOOK VII. Chap. I. Contents.— The Stewardship of Billy and Molly— Whiners and Ranters— » their respective Principles and Professions — The Bull Family taught by experience the Encroaching Character of Stewards — before in vesting Billy in the Stewardship provide 'against it, by a special and most important Deed called The Roll of Rights— its Principal Pro visions — These Pi ovisions conformable to the professed Principles of the Whiners — the Ranters profess Unlimited Obedience, and absolute Undefeasible Right in the Steward — but in both, these prove little more than mere Professions. Sorne Exceptions — Sir Frankjaud Burdex. ! < About this time there sprung up on the Albion Manor The sieward- t» • -i 11 1 • ship of Billy two opposite Parties, which, under the merely arbir D'Orasisand trary Names of Whiners and Ranters, have continued spouse. ever since. But though their Terms and pretended opposition of Principles has continued the same, it has been with considerable variation of Character and Con- ^Mners and duct. These seem to be the same Parties which Sir fheiT8^ Humphrey Polesworth distinguishes by the equally ar- £jssed Prin- bitrary Terms of Hitts and Devotees. 296 Book7.ch.i. Of these two parties, the first pretend a greater zeal for John Bull and the Interest of the Family, in opposition to the Claims and Encroachments of the Steward; — the last affect to be more devoted to the Steward, and to refer every thing principally to his will, and that John Bull, his Manor, and all that belongs to him, exist only for the honour and pleasure of the Stew ard. These are professedly their respective principles ; but in general they have been found to be nothing more in either, than mere professions ; nothing more than a cloke under which more successfully to pursue their own Interest and Ambition. The Principles professed by the Whiners are, no doubt, the genuine Principles of the Albion Constitution, and of the Bull Family; yet never have those Principles been more palpably vio lated than under the Influence of professed Whiners. For instance, the present Race of Stewards came to the Office under the Auspices of the Whiners, ahd their Stewardships have generally been conducted by their Influence and by Agents professedly of that Party. Yet never have John Bull and his Family been more pillaged, more devoured, more consigned to the Will, and sacrificed to the Interest of the Stewards, than since their accession to the Stewardship^ and by those pretended Wfeiner Agents. — But of this hereafter.-— Now to our present point. John Bull, now, equally by reason and experience, sensible both of his own Rights, and of the presumptu ous nature of the Stewardical Character, took care be fore he conferred the Office on Billy D'Orasis to make a formal and express Declaration of his .own Rights and Privileges, and those of every individual of his Fa- 297 mily, — and also of the Limitations and Restraints un- Book7.ch.i. der Avhich he conferred the Stewardship. And this Instrument, called the Roll of Rights, he took care im mediately after Billy was invested, to have confirmed, established, and sanctioned, as one of the most solemn and important Laws of the Manor. As this Roll of Rights, hoAvever now violated in many of its Articles, is still one of the most irreversible Rollof Rights. Laws of the Manor, it may not be amiss to mention here its most essential Provisions and Enactments. I. It enacts that all pretended Power, such as had been assumed by the late Stewards, to suspend the its Principal force, or dispense with the Execution, of any of the established LaAvs or Customs of the Manor, is illegal and a breach and violation of the Duty, and of the Oath-of-office taken by the SteAvard. II. That the assumed authority by which the late Arbitrary Kirkly Court was erected, and all pretensions to erect or set up any such Courts, by the Steward's OAvn Appointment, independent of the Custom of the Manor, and the Sanction of Mrs. Bull's Office, Avas il legal, and a violation of the Steward's Duty and Oath- of-office. III. That all Levying of Money or Contributions for the purposes of the Stewardship, all demanding of Loans, or Free Gifts, in short all taking of Money un der any pretence or colour whatsoever, of the Family and Holders on the Manor, without the express sanction of the Family in general, through Mrs. Bull's Office, was contrary to Law, and a breach of the Duty and Oath of the Steward. QQ 298 Book 7. ch. 1. IV. That it is the indisputable privilege of the Bull Family, and of every individual of it, to require, and demand, of the Steward, whatever they shall think expedient and conducive to the interest and pros perity of the Family, or their Right and Due by the Laws and Customs of the Manor — and to represent unto him, and remonstrate with him, upon all encroach ments, abuses, and malversations of his Agents, Clerks, and Scriveners, — and that all harsh repulse, or haughty rejection, and all prosecution or punishment, for such Petition, Remonstrance, or Demand of Justice, is a vi olation of the Rights of the Family, and of the Duty and Oath of the Steward. V. That the keeping in pay a set of Attornies, So licitors, and Men of Law, together with their attend ant Bailiffs and Bullies, without the consent of the Fa mily, when no Quarrel or Lawsuit is in hand, is con trary to the Laws and Customs of the Manor, and dan gerous tb the Privileges, Property, and Peaceable Pos session of the Holders and Cultivators of the Manor. By the VI. John Bull vindicates for himself and every one of his Family that privilege of a Gentleman, the Right of keeping or carrying Arms for the protec tion of his Person or Property against any person what- Principai Ar- ever. — So that every one of the Bull Family — the poor Rofiof Rights Peterkins excepted — can say with the fine Gentleman in the Play — " I wear a sword, sir," — And let me ob serve — that however awkward it may sometimes sound to the Respondent, it is no inconvenient thing, when an impertinent question is asked, or an irrefutable sus picion insinuated, to be able to reply " I wear a sword sir. — Sir, says he, I wear a sword." and void. 299 VII. That neither the Steward nor his Agents Book 7. ch. l. shall in any manner intermeddle in the choice, or at tempt to influence the choosing of the Members of the This Article Lower Chamber of Mrs. Bull's Office. But this Arti- tire"™ null cle, now become of more importance than all the rest together, is at present so shamefully violated, that the Steward, or his Agents and Dependants, actually ap point, or influence the appointment of more than one half of the members of that Chamber. Which in fact, in itself amounts at once to a virtual Abolition of all John Bull's Liberty, Property, and Privileges; recovered by such long, important, and persevering struggles, from the Usurpation of former SteAvards. And John Bull and all he possesses are, notwithstanding this important Instrument, now, by means of this in fluence and interference, more absolutely at the dis posal of thc SteAvard, and the persons and property on the Manor more absolutely and entirely disposed of by him, than under the most arbitrary Stewardships on Terrafirm. And, except this pernicious interference is arrested, and that soon, all his boasted Freedom and Rights are, Vox, et preterea Nihil. A mere unmean ing sound. VIII. That the Members of Mrs. Bull's Office shall have full Liberty to speak their minds, and de liver their sentiments freely upon all subjects; and shall not be questioned by the SteAvard, nor accountable in any of his Courts for their speech, or any part of their conduct in discharge of their Function as Repre sentatives of the Family. IX. Unreasonable Securities, excessive Penalties, or severe Punishments, shall not be exercised upon any QQ.2 300 Book 1. ch. l. of the Family, but even in their Offences they shall be considered in a fraternal view, as still members of the Community. X. That the Twelve Men that are to Enquire and Decide upon all Trials or Questions of Persons or Pro perty, shall be fairly and impartially nominated, and shall be persons of free and respectable condition. This is an Article also on many occasions, especially in any matter where the Steward or his Adherents are concerned, now shamefully violated, or eluded. XI. That the SteAvard's Practice, of promising, or granting, to his Favorites the Fines or Forfeitures of any person suspected, or accused, before they be really convicted — is a violation of his Office, and contrary to the Laws of the Manor. XII. That for the correction of all Abuses, the re dress of all Grievances, and preserving safe and invi olate all the LaAvs, Customs, and Constitutions of the Manor, Mrs. Bull's Family Office shall be frequently and regularly assembled, and allowed to sit and act freely. These are the principal Articles of this important Deed and Instrument, which John Bull took care to present to Billy, previous to admitting him to the Stew ardship. And which, on his being admitted, was con firmed and established into a LaAV of the Manor by the most solemn Sanctions, which give force and inviola- bleness to these Laws. It has been disputed, no doubt absurdly enough — whether there be any Contract or mutual Engagement essentially and necessarily implied in the Relation of Landlord and Steward, or the Holders on the Manor 301 and their Accredited Agent, on these Great Manors. Book 7. ch.i. But with respect to the Bull Family and Manor this is a point that can never come in question, the Express Formal Contract being Extant, and on record, in this and several other Instruments and Deeds, forming the most fundamental and firmly established Laws of the Manor ; in the inviolate preservation of which the Re lation Essentially consists. The same Instrument and Sanction provide, and secure, that no Person adhering to Peter and his Prin ciples shall be capable for the future of holding the SteAvardship of the Manor of Albion. Under these and some other Regulations and Re strictions, Billy and Moll his Spouse were invested in the Stewardship, with general, though not universal, consent and approbation. Of the two parties we have already mentioned, who under the Distinction of Whiners and Ranters al most divided the Avhole Family ; the Whiners univer sally approved the conferring the Stewardship upon Billy and Moll, and the Limitations and Restrictions under which it was granted. The Ranters, on the contrary, were generally for a temporary and subordi nate Appointment, still reserving the Right of Posses sion in Yagob and his Heirs. This was perfectly conformable to tlieir respective professed Principles,— the first holding the supreme and unalienable Right to dispose of the Stewardship to be in John Bull and the Holders on the Manor. And it is surely impossible in Nature and Reason it should be otherwise.— Yet, the second— profess to hold all Right, or Pretensions to Right, of John Bull, in Himself, in his Property, or 302 Book 7, ch. l. in the Disposal of the Stewardship of his Manor, to be an impious and detestable Doctrine. Their Princi- Tie_ absurdity pies an(i Terms, are, Passive Obedience, Non-resist- of professed * ' RanterPrin-ance, Absolute Power, Divine Indefeasible Right, in the Steward. Froni whence such absurd and unnatu ral Principles took thier rise, and hoAV such slavish opinions, such self-degrading Professions, ever found admission into the Bull Family, or into the mind of any free man, it is difficult to account for. — But the truth Boi in both is> in both Parties their respective Principles and Pro- pap||,nSdtg"rfessions, are but mere Professions and Pretences ; and Principles (nere js t00 much reason from Facts, to conclude that mere Pro- ' fession. m general they proceed from the entire want of all Principle ; or, are only assumed in subservience to a Theironiy real much more obvious and universal Principle, their own seiHnterest Interest, — the most sordid Selfishness. ti"n. am '" This seems evident from uniform experience ; for whatever ostent of entire deference to John Bull and his Interest the Whiners may hold forth, to ingratiate them selves Avith the Family and cajole the good Folk on the Manor ; no sooner have they got into Place and Ap pointments in the Steward's Office, than they have shewn themselves as subservient to all his purposes, as insatiably rapacious in seizing, as boundlessly profuse in squandering, the Property of the Family ; as basely servile, as sordidly avaricious, as shamefully selfish, as the most open and professed Ranters could possibly be. On the other hand — whatever professions of en tire devotion to the absolute will of the Steward the Ranters may affect, no sooner has be, in the exercise of that unlimited PoAver, and indefeasible Right, Avhich they so zealously ascribe to him, begun to touch them- 303 selves, than they have been httle slower than the most Book 7. ch.i. zealous Whiners, in opposing and resisting his Power. Of this the subject in hand, the Fate of the deluded Yagob affords a pregnant instance, for many of the first movers in it were of the Ranter Party. Indeed the real difference between these two Parties seems to con sist chiefly in this, that the one aims at serving its own Interest and Ambition in the Name and by the Means of the Family, the other, in the Name and by the Means of the Steward. Not but that at times a few real Patriots have sprung up among the Whiners ; of which the present Sir Frankland Burdex, Sir Gilbreth Heathcock, Don Standhope, Don Grey, and some others, are worthy and distinguished instances. And if they have patience and perseverance, we hope, from the awakened zeal of the Family and Folk in ge neral upon the Manor, and the arroused sense of the In juries, Impositions, and Abuses laid upon them, that these, and such as these, may be successful in vindicat ing and restoring the Rights of the Family; and preserv ing both John Bull and the Steward from that Ruin into which they seem to be eagerly rushing : or rather, into which the Agents of the latter seem to be driving the former, without being aware that their own Fate, as well as that of the Steward, must be inevitably involved in the event. 304 Book 7. ch.2. ClIAp# n# Contents.— The Stewardship of Billy and Moll continued— Yagob, by the assistance of Lewis Baboon, endeavours to recover the Steward ship—attempts a Forcibly Entry on the Manor of Green Erin, be longing to Pat Blunt, John Bull's Half-brother, and attached to the Albion Stewardship— The Character of Pat— a brave open-hearted Fellow, with a little dash of the absurd— his greatest Folly and Mis fortune his blind attachment to Peterkinism— attempt to account for this ab-urd attachment— this, most unjustly an1 ungenerously, made a pretence for the grossest oppression and tyranny by the Bull Family and Steward — encouraged by this attachment to Peterkinism Yagob makes his first attempt on this Manor of Erin— is cast in a decisive Trial at Bar at the Boyne Burn— and finally abandons the Attempt — the deluded Inhabitants of Erin who had joined Yagob are forfeited of their Lands and Goods— which Billy lavishes with the most incre dible profusion nnd partiality on his Favourites ano Followers by tens of thousands and hundreds of thousands of Acres to individuals, all Strangers and Foreigners who had followed his fortunes from Terra- firm. The formal Investiture of Billy and his Spouse in the Stewardship with the decided consent of the Family, having confounded and frustrated all the hopes and prospects of Yagob, he now, under the protection and assistance of Lewis Baboon, made some attempts both by Law and forcible Entry, to recover the Steward ship ; all which proved entirely abortive. These at tempts Avere chiefly made on the Manor of Green Erin, belonging to John Bull's Half Brother Paddy Blunt, managed by the same Steward, and long held in a kind of subordination to the Albion Manor. This Paddy, or Pat, was a curious, comical, bizarre sort of a Fellow, with still more of reckless nonchalance in his character than John Bull himself. No man in the Character of Country was more distinguished for bravery, and a prompt fearless daring, with a strange unaccountable dash of the Absurd, both in his speech and actions. 305 Yet perhaps the ground of this whimsicality of Cha- Book 7. ch. 2; racter might be found iu the circumstances of his fate ; in the consciousness of a liberal Descent and Generous spirit, blended with uncultivated manners and confined ideas, the effects of a narrow, perverted, and defective education ; which is to be imputed wholely to the un feeling jealousy, and hardened injustice, of the Bull Fa mily, and the detestable Policy of its Stewards and their Agents, with respect to that Manor. Which is also the cause of Pat's obstinate adherence to all the absurdity of Peterkinism, even when it is spurned by ' all the world beside. It is said, there was a time when the Blunt Family had much the advantage of the Bull Family in these matters, and when those who aspired to a superior education repaired to Erin, not only from the Albion Manor, but from all parts of Terrafirm. It may seem strange that the same Family, who on the general extinction of Learning, Science, and Cultiva tion, in these Parts, Avas the last to retain them: should now on their revival, be their most obstinate Opposers, and the last and slowest to re-admit them. Were we io attempt to give an account of this seeming paradox, it would perhaps he the following. The notorious Peter, Avhom we have so often had occasion to mention, has been the great Opponent of all real knowledge and science, the implacable Enemy of the general cultivation and improvement of the hu man mind ; and in proportion as Peterkinism advanced, vall sound knowledge and learning was blasted before it, and finally extinguished by its influence. And, vice versa, as Learning aud Sound Knowledge began to revive, Peterkinism was, obliged to. give way before RR 306 Book 7. ch.2. them; and is now, in its Genuine Spirit, and indeed almost in Name, extinguished in the world, the Manor of Erin excepted. These two Competitors, Peterkinism and Sound KnoAvledge, are like day and night, light and darkness, perfectly incompatible with one another; and where the one advances the other must, and always does re cede, and give way. Now Pat's Manor, like John Bull's, lies in the midst of the Great Waters, quite in sulated, and still more in a manner cut off from the Avorld than John's. So that when Peter began to dif fuse his Mummery every where, and to impose it on all Avho came in his way, to the expulsion of Know ledge, Reason, and Common Sense,— Pat's Family ly ing more out of the Avay, Avere among the last to be in fected by it. Indeed it appears that till the Manor of Erin became in some degree subjected to that of Albion, Peter's influence and authority were scarce known, or acknowledged upon it. And to the same cause, the sequestered situation of his Manor, with the ungenerous, the unjust policy of the Bull Steward's Office toAvards him, it is to be as cribed — that Pat at this day with all his natural ad vantages, is so far behind his Neighbours in polish, improvement, and cultivation; while in hospitality, generosity, and openness of heart and character, he ex cels them all— and that, when Peter Avith all his ridi culous nostrums, and impudent quackery, is detected, despised, and spurned by all the world beside, Pat's Family are obstinately bent to sacrifice every thing, both their natural advantages, and their civil Rights and Privileges, in behalf of such an absurd farrago of 307 Nonsense and Mummery, as no one ever admitted, nook 7. ch.2. till they had renounced the use of reason and common sense. And the Steward and Steward's Agents in the Albion Manor, are no less bent, in defiance of reason and justice, and of the mutual Interest of both Manors, lo take advantage of this ignorance and obstinacy, and to make it a pretence for excluding all the Peterkius on the Manor of Erin from the Rights and Privileges of Denizens and Free Men on their own Estates and Manor. Indeed in this hostility to human freedom is founded the whole of their Economy with respect to the Manor of Erin. And this policy obstinately per sisted in, is, they well know, the surest means of perpe tuating that very ignorance and barbarity Avhich is made the pretence for it. And this perverted Policy has had but too much countenance and support from the cruel jealousy of Brother John and his Family. Crudclis frater magis, an puer improbus ille? Imprubus ille puer, crudclis tu quoque frater. But on this subject there may be occasion to speak more fully hereafter. Brother Pat thus retaining his blind attachment lo all the Quackery of Peterkinism, to Avhich infatuated attachment Yagob also owed all his misfortunes, he Yagob at- judged that the best course he could take to recover recover the the Stewardship, would be, first to make an Eutry on i.^cast in 'a Pat's Manor ; and from thence, to attempt the Reco- a't BaFi "|ln very of the Bull Manor. But Billy by means of his Mi'1'„l>"iuiU'6 Lawyers of the Bull and Frog Family soon brought the Matter to a Trial at Bar, and having joined Issue at the Assizes of Boync-burn on the Manor of Erin, Yagob Avas cast by a decisive Verdict, Avith large Costs li n 2 ' 308 Book 7. ch.2. and Damages. And though he attempted to protract the cause, endeavoured to obtain a neAv Trial, and still kept up his Claim, there was from henceforth no hopes nor prospect of his success. Billy being thus decidedly fixed in the Steward ship, and in the manner we have related, it might be thought, that the Principles on which it was bestowed, would have excluded for ever all pretensions of the The Presump- Stewards to any Power or Right, independent of the tunus and J ° * Encroaching Grant of the Family, or beyond the measure and limits Character of stewardism. prescribed by that Grant ; and that it would especi ally, out of gratitude and a sense of obligation, secure the Family from all attempts at Usurpation and En croachment, at least during the Life and Stewardship of the said Billy D'Orasis. But such is the natural propensity of the Stewardical Character and Station in general to Usurp and Encroach, that no consideration, no obligation, nothing but the most watchful and unre mitting jealousy, can keep them Avithin the bounds of Justice, Honour, or Honesty. They too often indeed seem to look upon the Laws of Reason and Equity as entirely destined for other Persons than them ; and all other Persons and Things as only destined for their Possession and Enjoyment. And against the Effects of this Propensity there is no safety nor security, but in the watchful jealousy and constant check of tlieir Con stituents and Employers. This is a fact proved by universal experience ; and scarce was Billy well fixed in his Office when he gave the most unequivocal con firmation of it. We have already mentioned that the wretched Yigob made his first attempt to recover his station by 309 Entry on the Manor of Poor Pat Blunt; in which, Book 7. ch.s.: from the blind attachment of the Family to Peterkin ism, he had the greatest number of Adherents. This attempt entirely failing in consequence of the decisive Verdict obtained in the Trial at Bar, above mentioned, great numbers of his Partisans, holding extensive Pos sessions on the Manor, were forfeited of their Goods and Estates, to the amount of an immense quantity of Land. For though Pat's Manor is not the best culti- T\eur^fat yated in the Avorld, yet it is of great extent ; and in J0*^ ^famV; point of situation and natural advantages equal almost ]yMt?"°p™' to any in the Avorld. Yet is all this in a manner lost verted Poii- * cy of the by the perfidious policy of the Bull Stewards, and tho Bull stew- ¦ r ^ ard> and "'* cruel jealousy of the Bull Family; who would rather cruel jea- sec the finest soil and climate on the face of the earth Bull Family. defrauded of Culture, and the most robust, hardy, and laborious people in the world, consigned to slavery and barbarism ; than be rivalled by them in freedom, wealth, and prosperity ; though their Emancipation and Imi provement would really be the greatest accession to their own Wealth, Power, and Importance, and enable them to set all the world at defiance. Great tracts of Land on this fine Manor being, as we have said, forfeited— instead of applying them, as was much wanted, to the advantage of either Family in uavin"- the debts upon the Manors, and defraying the immense For-* " J s . , . , , 1 feitures ot Expences of the Lawsuits in which they were engaged, Land on Billy lavished them with the most boundless extrava- au bestowed' gance on a few favorites of his own ; and not one of J"J h[l VM"£. these of the Bull or Blunt Family, but mere Strangers, ^nge^ere whom he had brought along with him. Upon these ^Vuot Minions were those Lands bestowed, by thousands, ten Family. 310 Book?, ch. 2. thousands, and hundreds of thousands, of Acres on in dividuals; who retain them in part to this day; Avhile in the mean time he borrowed money for the expences of the SteAvardship, and charged it on John Bull's Es tate ; and for which to this day he pays Interest, and the Principal remains unpaid, and probably for ever will. And here began that atal practice of borroAving Money, and mortgaging thc Estate for the Expences of the SteAvardship; which, still continued, has raised to great fortunes the successive Clerks and Menial attend ants of the Steward's Office and Houshold, Avho squan der it among thein in the most extravagant luxury and voluptuousness, while John Bull and his Family are reduced to bankruptcy and beggary. To describe the shameful profusion with which the Lands of Erin, forfeited to the Public, Avere lavished by Billy, would be altogether incredible — one Favorite had 50,000 Acres, another 100,000, and some near 150,000 ; in the whole to the amount of near half a mil lion of Acres,— and all bestoAved upon mere Strangers, who had no connection either with the Bull or Blunt Families. — But more infamous still, a private Family Estate of the late Yagob's, the undoubted Inheritance of his Daughters Molly and Ann, Avas bestoAved on a mere Strumpet, a faArorite Trull of Billy's, together with a Title of Dignity ; for " Whores and Sons of Whores," if connected with SteAvards, besides fortunes out of the Manors, must all have Titles of dignity — and hence are derived half the Titulates on the Manor. And at the very time the private Estate of the Father, and just Inheritance of the Daughters, Avas thus shame fully bestowed on a Strumpet, application was made to 311 the Palaverium to settle 50,000 Livres a year upon the Book 7.ch.a. Daughter Nan, and a large appoiutment upon Moll, should she survive her Husband — all which was com plied with — and all out of the Income of John Bull's Estate. It is true, these shameful Grants of the Lands of Erin were not allowed to pass unchecked by the Pala verium. A certain number of their own body Avere ap pointed^ as a Commission or Trustees to enquire into, and correct, those Enormous Grants. But such was the corruption, the contempt of honour, the sordid sel fishness that had noAV crept into every department of the Public Management on the Manor; that those Lands before estimated at a million and a half of Livres, were noAV given out to be scarce Avorth half a million :— that is, — hot worth a Livre an Acre in Fee Simple. These Trustees protracted the exercise of their Com mission for years; and living in the mean time in the utmost luxury and voluptuousness, spent yearly the whole Income of the Estates among themselves — and I think it is scarce known at last, how they Avere fi nally disposed of. But, I believe, it is certain no part of them was ever applied to lessening the burdens of the Bull Family. 312 Book 7. ch.3. CHAP. III. Contents The Stewardship of Billy continued.— The great misfortune to the Bull Family in this Transfer of the Stewardship to a Foreigner, is, their being hence implicated in all the Broils and Quarrels, on Ter rafirm.— Billy being a native of Terrafirm, is placed at the head of an Associiitiou to restrain the Encroachments of Lewis Baboon— in which though John Bull had the smallest concern, his substance was most profusely lavished— the Suit carried on ifl Terrafirm— Billy spends most of his time ;there— comes home between Terms, cajoles John oui qf his Money ; of which it must be allowed he was not sparing— and back to Terrafirm again — In this Routine passes the ¦ greater part of Billy's Stewardship. But the greatest misfortune derived to the Bull Family by this transfer of the Stewardship to one connected The disastrous wjtu Xerrafirmial Interests, was, the implicating John consequences'of this Trans-Bull in all the disputes and quarrels of the numerous stewardship, Proprietors and -Stewards of the various Manors on pUcating "" Terrafirm ; "With whom, from the situation of his own ai!h,Terraii'r" Manor, he had naturally little; or no connection; and ™lllwn^hirhefrom whom, since the fortunate loss of all his Farms °?h7wisehad .and Mansions in that District in the time of the Sixth little or no connection. Harry, John Bull had happily kept himself pretty clear. But Billy, a native of that . District, and be sides having some Farms of his own in it, being Head Bailiff of Nick Frog's Manor, his chief .attention was still directed to that Quarter. Indeed Billy's principal object and enjoyment, in possessing the Stewardship of John Bull's Manor, seemed to be, to derive from it the means and resources for carrying on those Terrafirmal disputes and quarrels, and to increase his weight and influence in them. For which purpose, the Avealth and prosperity of the Folk on the Albion Manor have been most shamefully, and 1 may say, most treacherously, 313 sacrificed to the foreign Interest and personal views of Book \. ch. 3. every successive Steward, from that time to the present. Billy D'Orasis thus firmly settled in the Albion Stewardship, was noAv at the Head of a large Combi nation of the Stewards and Proprietors on Terrafirm, in order, by a process at Law, to humble the pride and reduce the Power of LeAvis Baboon ; and to set bounds to bis encroachments on his Neighbours. No doubt a just and laudable design. But it was surely with great injustice, that John Bull, who of all the Associates was the least immediately concerned, was saddled with far the greater proportion of the Expences of the Lawsuit. It would lead from the design of these Memoirs to set forth the extravagant pretensions of Lewis Baboon at this time, and his insolent encroachments on the neighbouring Farms and Manors. The principal ob* ject of the present Combination, or at least that for Avhich John Bull Avas principally implicated in it, Was to obtain a secure boundary for Nick Frog's Manor, by the Ejectment of Lewis from some Hamlets and Tenements,-^which indeed antiently belonged to Lord Strutt's Family, — but which Lewis had seized upon,— and from which he could extend his encroachments and depredations into Nick's Manor almost at his pleasure. Billy being connected, as has been said, with the Frog Family, and Head Bailiff of their Manor, and in. considerable repute and practice as a Man of LaAV, AVas fcy general consent placed at the Head of this Associa tion, as chief Solicitor to carry on the Process for the Ejectment of LeAvis. And it must be allowed, that considering the practice and great capacity of Lewis's Attornies, ha conducted the suit with considerable vi* ss 314 Book 7. ch.3. gour and success; but to the great Expence, and little advantage, of John Bull. It has already been ob served, that John had naturally a great partiality for a The chief bur- promising LaAvsuit. And being of a sanguine disposi- rafirmaiquar-t'00? he did not starve the cause, but supplied Billy's udon th John demands most liberally. And though, of all the Asso- Buii, tnoush ciation, John was the least immediately concerned — • the least con- 7 J cemed in could derive the least advantage from thc success, and them. An a- . . - . buse continu- suffer the least damage by the failure, of the suit; yet astrous in- was every one of the Associates prone to shift the bur- this day. den of the Expence from his OAvn shoulders, and to throAV it upon poor John Bull's ; and who ever failed in their proportion of the Contribution, John was looked to, to supply the deficiency, and support the Cause. As the suit was carried on in Terrafirm, Billy's re gular course was to spend the whole of Term-time there in attendance on the courts. When Term was over he generally amused himself some time in hunting and sporting on some of his Estates on Terrafirm ; but Billy and Mrs. always took care during the long Vacation to visit the mutually treat Albion Manor, for the sake of replenishing his Pockets. one another. Therehis customwas to call together Mrs. Bull's Hous hold Office. And now, instead of the jarring and squabbles that were Avont to occur in the time of the two Carloses, nothing passes but Compliments and Compliances. The interview generally commences with Flummery the each treating the other with a cold Collation, in which ^nncipa piummer-y js (ne principal Dish. The Steward treats first, and Mrs. Bull returns the Compliment ; and that with so much complaisance, that her Entertainment Consists chiefly of a mere repetiton of the same Dishes as thc Steward's, with a little more profusion of Flum- 315 mery.* Flummery, all the Avorld Iuioavs, is a cheap Book 7. ch. a Dish, and may be afforded in plenty at a small ex- pence. The Steward's Entertainment, indeed, is sup posed to cost him nothing, both the materials and cooking are presumed to be furnished at the Expence of the Clerks and Scriveners of the Office ; in the con fidence of Avhich presumption, much freedom of ob servation is often used upon the furnishing out, and cooking of the Steward's Collation by some Avho affect to have less relish for Flummery than their neighbours. However, the Avhole generally closes with some compli ments on the Steward's Entertainment ; which arc sure to be accompanied Avith an engagement to furnish him Avith Avhatever money he shall please to demand. In consequence of this complaisance, the comments upon the cooking of the Flummery are generally passed over in silence, and all is concluded with great po liteness. In prosecution of the further business of the meet ing, the StcAvard'on his part, intimates the progress of the LaAvsuit, accounts for the failure in some points, congratulates them on the success of others — especially impresses the strong necessity of speedy and liberal supplies of Money, that they may be ready to com mence proceedings vigorously and early in thc next Term. To all Avhich it is replied on Mrs. Bull's part with the utmost complaisance ; — the desired contribu tions are liberally granted, and every thing proposed by the Steward conceded in the most ample manner, and complimental form. * Royal Speeches and Parliamentary Addresses.— Prct. Com. ¦si 2 316 Book 7. ch.3. This business settled, — the steward once more treats the Members of Mrs. Bull's Office with another Dish of Flummery, and dismisses them to attend their own affairs, till he again wants money ; and he himself repairs to Terrafirm to attend the Courts. In this clos ing Entertainment he generally coaxes them Avith some compliments on the liberal supplies of Cash with Avhich they have furnished him— regrets the necessity he is under of so frequently calling upon his Good Folk on the Manor for such large and burdensome Contribu tions — assures them they shall be applied strictly to the purposes for which they were granted, and be spent with the utmost Economy ; than Avhich, nothing can be more false, both in fact, and intention. In this routine of asking and receiving, and of mu tual Compliments, consisted the greater part of Billy's Stewardship after the decisive Issue obtained in Erin, and indeed of almost every Stewardship since; as far as the Bull Family and Manor of Albion are concerned. As to the Lawsuit on Terrafirm, it proceeded as LaAvsuits generally do Avhere money is plentifully sup plied on both sides to carry them on. Sometimes one The Lawsuitparty gained one point, and the other party another ; conclusion, sometimes a New Trial Avas brought upon the same point, and a direct contrary Verdict obtained. In this Avay the LaAV Process went on, and, might have gone on for ever ; or at least as long as both Parties could have found money to pay the Lawyers, had not Lewis Ba boon's attention been attracted by a prospect of greater advantage from another quarter, than any he could de rive from the utmost success in the pending Suit, Avhich determined him to try to get. rid of it for the present., 317 ClIAP. IV. Book7.ch.4. Contests. The Stewardship of Billy D'Orasis continued— Carlos, Lord Struit, at the point of Death without Issue— all Quarrels made up with a vie^w of Partitioning his Great Estate among the Parties— Lewis Baboon, as one of the Partitioned, outwits all the rest— and gets the whole into hisown Family by a Will clandestinely procured in favour of his Grandson— upon whieh a new Quarrel breaks out, and Lawsuits more violent than ever— during which Billy slips off the stage. Carlos, Lord Strutt, had long been in a declining state of health, and his death was now every day ex- intIieprospect pected ; and having no Issue, the succession to his of^d strutt! Great Manor of Iberia, with all its vast Appendages, was {j^ neij|^ an object of great attention to the Landlords and Stew- *oon- „s°IltIh> ¦ Frog, & Bull, ards of all the Neighbouring Manors. Lewis Baboon »Sree to di- 1 O • C 17 1 V'de "'S ES" and bquire South had each some pretensions to the sue- tate of iberia cession, as differently related to the Family. But the * prospect of either the one or the other succeeding to the Avhole of such vast Possessions, they were aAvare, Avould excite such Jealousy among their Neighbours, and such alarm in the whole country round, that neither could hope to be allowed to take quiet Possession of the Manor. And though John Bull had no pretensions to any part of the Estate himself, yet such was his con nection with the Strutt Family and Iherian Manor, and and such his influence in the whole Country round, that, without conciliating John Bull, no one could reckon upon the undisturbed Possession of the Manor of Iberia. John's principal claim indeed, on his own account, was the Right of Trade on the Manor, especially of carrying the Produce of his own Manor thither to Market. Sir Humphry Polesworth calls it the Privi- 318 Book7.ch.4. lege of being his Clothier; but it is well known that thc Manor of Albion sends a thousand things beside Cloth to the Iberian Market. And from hence draws a great proportion of those golden treasures Avith which Lord Strult's Estates abound above all others in the Country. Nicolas Frog Avas also not a little interested in this .Affair, particularly from the danger of having such a troublesome rogue as Lewis for so near a Neighbour as be would be if he succeeded to those parts of Lord Strutt's Estate which lay adjoining to Nick's Manor ; especially Avith the great increase of Avealth and poAver Avhich Lewis would acquire by this succession. In this situation of Affairs, Lewis, who was an overmatch for all his Neighbours in dexterity and cun- The Lawsuit ning, — that he might be more at leisure to take ad- ompou 'vantage of all events, proposed to compound the Law suit in which the Parties had been so long engaged ; —and from and that on better terms than Frog and Bull, or rather Frog and Billy could have expected, — for truly John Bull had scarce any real interest in the Matter : except that of spending his money. By this Composition Frog thought he had secured a safe boundary to his Manor ; and Billy got his Title to, and possession of, the Albion Stewardship expressly acknoAvledgcd by Lewis Baboon ; and poor Yagob was left to shift for himself; though Lewis had so lemnly promised and declared that he Avould never de sert his cause. To obtain this last point, the entire ex clusion of Yagob, and establishment of Billy in the Stewardship, was'the sole ostensible object for which John had been implicated in the Lawsuit. And for this surely no Lawsuit could be necessary ; for John 319 was indisputably competent both to appoint, and sup- nook7.cb.:4.. port, his own SteAvard. But the impatience and jealousy of the different Expectants on Lord Strutt's Death, could not quietly wait that Event ; they therefore settled among them selves a Partition of his Avhole Estates, without waiting his own Disposition of them, or at all consulting him on the subject. And Lewis, of whom all the rest were most particularly jealous, by this Partition and Settle ment, expressly renounced all advantage that might accrue to him by any Will or Disposition that Lord Strutt might make in his favour. Of this Partition and Settlement, John Bull, though he was to come in for no part of the Property, was by his Steward engaged as the Principal Guarantee— and that without the least intimation to himself, or knowledge of the transaction — an Engagement which cost him years of trouble, end less lawsuits, and half ruined his Estate and Family. This is indeed the Lawsuit of which Sir Humphry Polesworth in his History of John Bull pretends to give an account— or rather, for the palpably unworthy conclusion of which he with much art labours an apology. But though this Partition and Agreement was made with the greatest secrecy, it soon took air, and came to Lord Strutt's ears ; who, as might be expected, felt the utmost indignation on the occasion; in which the Lonl s^ef- whole inhabitants of the Iberian Manor heartily joined nuis the p»r- withhim. In this disposition of mind the Old Lord Estate, by a Strutt took a resolution effectually to dissolve the Com- vor of Lewi, bination of the Partitioners. Though the artful knave ^X!. Lewis, to amuse the other Parties, had acquiesced 320 Book 7. ch. i. -with great seeming sincerity in the Partition, and had expressly engaged, that though a Will should be made in his favour he would not consent to accept, or take any advantage of it, but strictly adhere to the Parti tion : yet had he never ceased to importune Lord Strutt, and fo tamper with all Avho Avere about him, or had any influence with him, to obtain such a Will : in which he at last succeeded, through mere indignation on the part of Lord Strutt at the impudent Partition. By this Will, made just before he expired, the whole of Lord Strutt's Estates and Fortune were bequeathed to Phillip, Lewis's Grandson, being the second Son of his Eldest Son and Heir. But that the Iberian Manor might never become an appendage to, or parcel of, the Frankland Manor, it was provided that in case of Phill, by the death of his Elder Brother, succeeding to the Manorof Frankland, the Iberian Manor should descend to a still younger branch of the Family. Lewis had the impudence to pretend that all this was exceeding contrary to his Avish. But said, that though he himself should be a great loser by it, yet had he no right to oppose so great an advantage to his Grandson. But this would not pass with the Parti* tioners ; — especially as he had caused his own Attor- nies and Agents to take immediate Possession in the name of his Grandson. — But the Partitioners even in sisted that he should oblige his Grandson to renounce Death of Billy, the Will, and assist them to eject him. About this time died old Yagob, and soon after, his rival Billy. 321 Chap. V. Book 7. ch. 5. Contents. — The Stewardship of Nan — Law Proceeding carried on with great vigour and success seven years by Marlville, John Bull's At torney — Old Lewis quite exhausted, and all Parties pretty well tired of Law — a Composition is at lasf agreed upon — but on Terms far short of what the success of the Partitioners ought to have obtained — This the Lawsuit, and this the Composition, to justify which Sir Humphry Polesworth wrote his celebrated History of John Bull— but which, all his art and dexterity has failed to do. — Death of Nan — And ac cession of the Handover Family. As Billy died without Issue, the succession of the SteAvardship of the Manor of Albion passed, as had st^niship rf been settled by the general consent of the Bull Family, to Nan, Yagob's Second Daughter ; — Moll had been dead sometime before her spouse. These changes made no difference in the determi nation of the Partitioners. Such vast Accession to the already too predominant power and wealth of the Ba boon Family justly excited, the jealousy and fears of the whole Neighbourhood ; Avho had all already felt too many proofs of Lewis's overbearing and encroach ing Character. And though, of all the Neighbours, John Bull Avas the least concerned on his own account, could derive the least advantage from the proposed Partition, and was in the least danger from, and could best defend himself against the encroachments of Lewis : yet none of the Parties were more zealous in the cause, or more ready to undertake all the trouble and expence of the proposed Lawsuit, than John Bull. It is true, John had now an additional cause of quar- ( rel with LeAvis. — We already took notice that Lewis, in contempt of the. most solemn engagements to Yagob, to support his pretensions, had at the conclusion of the T T 322 Book 7. ch.3. last Lawsuit abandoned his Interests, and with still more solemnity acknowledged Billy's Right and Pos session, and the settlement made by the Bull Family to the entire exclusion of Yagob and all Peterkins.— Yet no sooner was old Yagob dead, than Lewis, even du ring Billy's life time, caused Young Yagob his son to be declared Steward of the Manors of Albion, Caledo nia, and Green Erin, and engaged to lend his utmost assistance to put him in possession of the Office, in spite of John Bull himself and all concerned. Indeed, this Lewis was, even beyond the habitual perfidy of the Stewardical Character, infamous for cheating and ly ing; and for a perfect contempt of Truth, Honour, and Honesty. Though Nan, who had succeeded to the Steward ship, might be very well pleased to retain the Steward ship during her own life, it might very reasonably be suspected, that she would willingly rather leave it to her supposed Brother, than to a Stranger of very re mote affinity. And though the Disposition made by the Bull Family, whereby every Peterkin was expressly excluded, and the infatuation of the Father, who had brought up his Son a strict and bigotted Peterkin, — stood directly in the way;— yet, by those who fa voured that Family and Peterkinism, it was presumed that ways would be found to remove, or overcome, those obstacles ; and for this purpose, under the insti gation and with the assistance of Lewis, Intrigues were constantly carrying on. In the mean time a strong Combination against him was formed between John Bull, Nick Frog, Squire South, and a number of petty Lairds and Squires, — a 323 sort of Copy -holders on the Great Manor of Allemagn, Book 7.ch.s^ over which Squire South had a kind of nominal supe riority. The main object of this Combination, was, to ThLawsunf re** compel Lewis by dint of Law, according to his en- s" ...asi.d,e eagement, to renounce the Will of Lord Strutt, and as- Will, and . . y - •»«¦ make ?oocl sist to eject Phill his Grandson from the Iberian Manor. thePanitionof his Estate. As John Bull, though the least interested, was the principal supporter of this Combination, in which Nan the Stewardess cordially joined,the means, and measures, and different processes, Avere chiefly concerted in the Bull Steward's Office, and afterwards, further discussed by the Agents and Attornies of Frog, South, and the other Parties concerned. The chief management ofprincipaIly the Suit, and of the several Trials at Bar— for it could JJ^EJ by not be supposed that such a cause would be decided by g"^^;?1111'8 one Verdict — were also confided to John Bull's Chief Attorney. This Attorney, whom Polesworth, with a little tincture of malignity, calls Hocus, but whose real name was Kirkhill, and who is still better known by the Title of Don Marlville, Avas certainly both one of the ablest, and one of the most fortunate of his Profes sion. It is indeed said, that he never lost a Trial at Bar which he conducted, nor undertook an Action at Law in which he did not succeed. And few of the Pro fession have been engaged in more important Business, or conducted more numerous Actions. His enemies im pute to him the failing of selfishness, or too much love of money ; but it never was suspected, nor even insinu ated, that he ever sold his Client, or betrayed his Cause, through this failing. The Lawsuit thus commenced, was carried on with great vigour and unexampled success, by Marl- tt2 Carried on with great vigour and success ; but 324 Book 7. ch.5. ville, and Verdict after Verdict was obtained in favour of the Partitioners. But still, instead of any prospect J of an Ejectment, Phill the Grandson seemed firmly [possessed of the Strutt Lordship, and the Tenants and w^snec}"^f Holders in general of the Manor, perfectly satisfied the .desired wjth (heir new Steward, or rather, Landlord. It is termination. true a Son of Squire South's in concert Avith the Parti tioners, had also taken possession of Neapolis and some other detached Farms belonging to the Lordship ; and, principally by the assistance of John Bull, had made some progress in a forcible Entry on the Main Estate. But this part of the Proceedings was carried on in the Courts of the Iberian Manor, — and Avith va rying conduct and success, under different Attornies, quite independent of Marlville, who may be said to have proceeded with uniform success. Old Lewis was indeed at last reduced to the great est distress, and pretended to be willing to give up his Grandson, and even to assist in ejecting him, if the other Parties would agree to compound the Suit. The Gause had been carried on now for several years, and though the Partitioners could boast of great success, and Marlville had obtained Verdict upon Ver dict, — still there was no prospect of any termination of the Suit ; and the money of all Parties began to be ex hausted. Nick Frog indeed was pertinaciously bent on continuing the suit, as reckoning upon an unfailing fund in the wealth and generosity of John Bull, Avhom, as Polesworth expresses it, he held obliged to support him " tola pec'unia, with all his Money." — And beside, as the Lawsuit was carried on in Nick's Neighbour hood, a good deal of the Money centered with him; 325 Whereas there was a constant drain from John Bull's Book 7. ch. 5. Manor to Terrafirm, whence nothing ever returned. On all these accounts Nick still wished the Suit to go on. As to Squire South, he had conceived such an over weening opinion of his OAvn importance, that he thought the Partitioners and all the Land-holders in the Neigh bourhood obliged to support him in pomp and state, even if their own Families should starve. And though the main object of the present Lawsuit, in which they Avere all exhausting themselves, was to put one of his Family into Possession of the Manor of Iberia, the , principal of Lord Strutt's Estates, the perverse Lur- dan himself was chiefly intent on a villainous Lawsuit with his own Tenants, of the Manor of Boheme, to re duce them to Vassalage, and to impose upon them all the ridiculous absurdities of Peterkinism, which their own good sense taught them to spurn. But John Bull, though generous even to Knighterrantry, was not yet become a mere dupe, and seeing no end to the Suit ; and that those who were principally concerned in it, were each disposed to shift the burden of it from their own shoulders, and to throw itupon his, he was not un- Some disposi- willing to listen to proposals from Lewis for compro- Parties to ., o .. Compromise mismg the OUlt. the Suit. But before this compromise took place, there had occurred an almost entire change, both of Men and Maxims, in the Albion Steward's Office, — of which it Avill be necessary to give some account. We have already taken notice of the tAvo Parties of Whiners and Ranters, and given some account of their pretended Principles. That every Steward, whatever his pro- 326 Book 7. ch. 5. fessions may be, will naturally favour the supposed principles of the Ranters, is a thing reasonable to be sup posed ; and fact and experience confirms the supposi tion. That Nan was entirely attached to these prin- ples, there can be no doubt ; though she held her sta tion in direct violation of them, in prejudice of her Father and Brother.* But it must be acknowledged this was a thing not in her power to remedy ; though she might have refused her own part in it. And it can not be doubted but she would have wished to have left the Reversion of the Stewardship to her supposed Bro ther, rather than to a very distant relation, on Avhom it was settled by the joint consent of the Bull Family and the preceding Steward, — yet durst she neither openly attempt, nor even propose, such a step ; on account of the well-grounded prepossessions of the Family against all Peterkins. Nan's first Clerks and Agents in the Steward's Of fice were certainly men of ability, and at least of as much integrity and honesty as falls generally to the share of persons in their Station. We have already observed that even the Whiners, when once they get into the SteAvard's Office, are generally sufficiently compliant with his will and humour. And though Nan's present chief Agents, Marlville and Eudolphiu were really of the Whiner Party, they had been edu cated in Ranter principles, and accomodated them selves so well to their situation, that Nan as Avell as many others really believed them downwright Ranters ; * The Father was indeed dead before Nan succeeded to the Office; but the settlement upon her wan made, and she acquiesced in it, long before his death. 327 Whiners1 out, and the Ran ters brought in, by means of an In triguing Chamber maid. and as she durst not explicitly profess her own princi- Book 7. ch.s pies, she supposed the case Avas the same with them, so no eclaircissement for a long time took place. But some of the other Party, having by means of an artful intriguing Waiting-maid got possession of Nan's ear, began to insinuate counsels more agreeable to her OAvn principles, and soon excited in her mind Thturnfd strong prejudices against her present Confidents and Agents. But though Nan had determined to dismiss her present Advisers ; yet Marlville had conducted the Lawsuit with so much ability and success, and Avas in such high credit with the Partitioners abroad, as well as the Folk on the Manor at home, that she could not with safety dismiss him, till she was sure of accomplish ing the Compromise with Lewis. To obtain this end, the New Confidents had also carried on secret intelli gence with Lewis and his Agents. And as LeAvis's Coffers were quite exhausted, and he was heartily sick of the Lawsuit, the Parties soon came to an under standing. It is not necessary here to enter into the particulars of the Composition, which are generally well known ; The Su''1 Com- *• a J pounded on it is sufficient to observe— that, considering how the Terms shame- „ . ... , , _ ' . , , ful|y short Suit was carried on, and the Expence so unconscionably of what the SUCCESS W 1 J \\ thrown upon John Bull ; though John Bull was fully which it was justified in acceding to a Composition, yet the Terms ought to have of that Composition were by no means equal to his sue- ° aine ' cess in the Lawsuit, to the enormous Expence at which it had been carried on, and the known desperate state of Lewis's Affairs ; nor, to what it is well known might haye been obtained, had his Confidential Agents and 328 Book 7. ch. 5. the Steward's Office been zealous and faithful to their Trust. The truth is, in this Affair, the Interests of the Bull Family were not only partially compromised, but most shamefully abandoned and betrayed. The opposite Party, or Ranters, had now got full possession of Nan's confidence, and the Steward's Of fice ; and every thing was sacrificed in the violent op position of the two Parties ; whose greatest aim was to degrade and spite one another. Nay, so far did they carry their emulation, that several detached Hamlets and Farms of considerable value and importance which the Partitioners had gained by a decisive Verdict, were, on a New Trial being brought, suffered to be lost, merely because Nan's New Attorney, though pre- PHUtoryrthof sent in Court, hsd orders not to plead, nor say one word ^laboured m defence of the Cause. Thus shamefully and trea- Apoiogy for cherousIy were the honour and interest of John Bull this unwor- -* thy Compo-hetrayed by his own confidential Agents. Indeed the whole of Sir Humphry Polesworth's celebrated History of John Bull's Lawsuit, is merely a dexterous attempt to apologize for Sir Roger and the other Agents con cerned in Compounding this Lawsuit; and an endea vour, by affected Humour and Nonchalance, to draw the attention of the Bull Family from the real merits, or rather demerits, of the Transaction. Nan did not long survive this Composition. And Death of Nan, though both she and her late accredited Agents de- find ^ucctf^™ sion of the sired, and had privately intrigued to bring in her Bro- Famiiy. ther ; yet such was the general detestation of the Prin ciples of his Family, and such his own well-known bi gotry to Peterkinism, that they durst never openly pro- 329 pose it, neither to John himself nor to Mrs. Bull's (i„!c7.ci,.5 Houshold Office. Thus the Handover Settlement, as it has been called, took place without any direct or im mediate opposition. Chap. VI. Contents.— Stricture on Sir Humphrv Polesworth's Position, of the Par son being called to account for preaching against Adultery — Character of Par-on Pratewell * — and the absurd momentary Delusion excited on his account — Sir Humphry equally incorrect in tile account he gives of the three Misses, Polemia, Discordia, and Usuria, as John Bull's Daughters. It may not be amiss here to take some notice of the strange story Polesworth tells, about the Parson of the Parish being called to account for preaching against adultery, and the slandrous and absurd account he gives of John Bull, his Wife, and the three Hussies, whom he calls their Daughters. In this part of his un dertaking Sir Humphry seems to have quite lost his senses ; or to have sold them, along Avith his Conscience, to Sir Roger and those by whom he was employed. He, indeed, pretends to have been employed by John Bull himself; but the contrary of this is well known. Polesworth's j i c i ] x story> of the And so far do conscience and common sense seem to Parson pu- have forsaken him, — that he mistakes, or pretends to Preachinga- mistake, Mrs. Bull for the Steward's Wife, instead of g!£" Adul" John Bull's. And represents her fidelity to her Hus- * S— ch— v— r— 1.— Pret. Com. TJ U 330 Book 7. ch. 6. band, and defending his Honour and the Interests of her Family against the Encroachments and Intrigues of the Steward, — as, Maintaining the right of Adultery. And announces her bringing this insolent Parson to account in her Family Office, for his impertinent med dling in this matter — as, Calling the Parson to account for preaching against Adultery. All this is such pre posterous and extravagant stuff, that it must be con cluded, either that it was meant in mere banter and waggery, or that the man had lost his senses altogether — ¦ it was directly for censuring the fidelity of Mrs. Bull to her Husband and Family, and for infamously preach ing up and defending Adultery and Prostitution even from the pulpit, that this impious Parson was called to account, and deservedly punished. Indeed, from the notorious Commerce of Prostitution now carried on be tween the Steward's Office and Mrs. Bull's Houshold, it might be supposed that both Mrs. Bull and her Houshold did rather belong to the Steward than to John Bull. But it is well known this Commerce has not the sanction of Mrs. Bull's consent, or permission ; but is prohibited by the Strict and express Orders of her Houshold, and restrained by all the Authority left her. But she, Good Lady, is alas! as we have said, no longer Mistress of her own House. But a feAv words more of this petulant pragmatical Parson, who at this time so undeservedly made such a noise, and dreAV such attention. Thibie°chamac- Parson Prateweii, notwithstanding all the bustle 'erfidious""1 ^nat was made" about him, was notoriously a weak, Preaching s[\\y conceited coxcomb. Who, in order to ingratiate of Poison J ' jo Prateweii. himself with Nan and the Ranters, to whom it was 331 known she secretly inclined, took occasion to obtrude Book 7. ch. s. himself upon public Notice, by delivering from the pulpit, on several conspicuous occasions, sentiments and doctrines, entirely subversive of all the Principles for which John Bull and his Family had been struggling so strenuously for many generations ; and particularly reflecting most scandalously on Mrs. Bull and her Houshold Office for her fidelity to her Husband, and attention to the interests of her Family. According to this presumptuous Parson's Position— the late opposi tion, and expulsion of Yagob, the exclusion of Peter- kins from the Stewardship, the Handover Settlement, with all pretensions of John Bull to any authority in his own Family ; to any interest in, or possession of, himself or his Manor, were to be execrated as detestable and damnable Doctrines, — and that John Bull and his Family had no Freedom, Rights, Privileges, Posses sion, or Pretensions whatsoever, but Avhat he held from the Indulgence, Favour, and Will, in short — from the indefeasible Right of the Steward. After the sanctions so solemnly established, as re lated above, and in defiance of common sense, such Doctrines might bethought strange, and even incredi ble ; yet what must be allowed to be still more strange and incredible, is, the madness and enthusiasm with which this sycophant Parson was for a time held up by the infatuated Mob of the Bull Family, gulled and The strange in- excited, according to custom, by the influence of the the Bull Fa- Steward's Office. Never was more enthusiastic ar- ™'^ ^ *j* dour and zeal shown in favour of Religion and Liberty, p"^0"3 than was on this occasion exhibited in favour of more uu2 332 Book7. ch. 6. debasing and slavish Doctrines and Principles, than ever the most arbitrary Despot durst avoAv. It is true, the Name of John Bull's Mother Avas artfully, and insi diously, introduced into this affair; and it was insinu ated from the SteAvard's Office, . that her own Son had ill designs against her, and even meant to poison her. Such Avere the nefarious arts and practices by which this unnatural delusion was excited, and kept up. Such dangerous and detestable Doctrines, repeat edly, publicly, and ostentatiously obtruded, could not escape the notice andi reprobation of Mrs. Bull's Of fice, as Guardians of the Rights, Peace, and Safety, of the Family and Manor. The petulant Parson was therefore brought before them, and by them was pro secuted in the Steward's Courts : where, being convicted of malice and slander against Mrs. Bull, treachery against the Family, and sed ition against the Peace and Good Order, the Custom and Constitution, of the Manor — he was sentenced to go with a Gag in his mouth in public for three years, and to have his ser mons, which he had obtrusively published, conspicu ously burnt by the hands of the Hangman : and many think, that had justice been done him according to his intentions, he himself should have come through the same hands. Not only was this sentence lenient to a fault, the design and tendency of the offence considered ; hut it also gave occasion for a striking instance of the deter mined enmity of the Steward's Office to all idea of Rights and Privilege in their employers, or in the Folk on the Manor. And proves, as many subsequent in- 333 stances have done ; * that they esteem no encourage- Book 7. ch. 6. ment too high, no reward too great, for one who will betray these Rights, and sacrifice his Family to theParson Prat8 well presumptuous Pretensions of the Steward's Office. For not only Avas this perfidious Parson immediately pre sented to a New Benifice by the Steward's Office, even while his mouth was Gagged, but scarce was he ungagged when another, among the best on the Bull Manor, was added ; — and this to a mere prating shallow Coxcomb, who had no pretensions to genius, learning, character, or merit of any kind ; except his zeal to betray the ho nour and interest of the Bull Family. But the most extraordinary and unaccountable circumstance in this affair, Avas, the temporary plirenzy Avith which numbers of the Bull Family Avere seized in favour of this silly insignificant Parson, — who had de voted them all to endless slavery, by a sentence Avhich he reckoned divine and indefeasible. But this delusion appeared at its greatest height, and seemed to rise even Parson Pratei to madness, Avhen, on the Gagg being taken from his mouth, he set out to take possession of his New Bene fice. — Here he might be seen surrounded by a bawling Mob, consisting of thousands of people, hallooing — Madam Bull and Parson Prateweii — a most mortifying, and unseemly association for the Old Lady. — Nothing but Bonfires and Ringing of Bells ; and even the hedges, where he was to pass, were for miles hung with - For example — A late hoary Recreant, who never possessed a clear *£100. a year of his own, no sooner consented to betray the Bull Family and those Principles he had all his life professed, than he had thousands on thousands a year heaped upon him : though he had neither a period of life left to enjoy it, nor Posterity to inherii it— merely to shew, that no price was thought too high to purchase Dishonour and Treason.* • Supposed to be the late Mr. B — rke.— Prel Com. 334 Book7.ch.6. Garlands. Perhaps in the records of human folly and delusion this cannot be equalled : though, in our own days, the Brimingburg Auto da Fee, and some late Jubilant celebrations of the most disastrous, not to say fatal, Stewardship which the Bull Family ever saw, may be thought in point of infatuation not to fall far short of it. And when the unthinking multitude may be thus easily made the tools of the artful and ill- designing, it is no wonder that they who have found them such perfect dupes, and used them as animals only fit to be led by the Nose, should distinguish them by the title of the Swinish Multitude. But in all this, the Parson himself was but the in strument to try the humour of the Multitude, — the Offal-bag to make the Swinish herd follow. And these being found so true to the scent, so ready to be led as the Heads of the Party pleased, it was immediately de termined to dismiss Mrs.Buii's Houshold Office ; — and in a short time there was not one person left unchanged about the Steward's Office or Houshold ; or one of the Whiner Party to be found in any Place, Appointment, or Office, or allowed to approach the Stewardess' per son or councils. And there cannot be a doubt but a scheme was laid to bring in young Yagob, with all the Principles and Practices that had been so justly and so lemnly, for ever excluded, had not the sudden death of „ , ... the Stewardess prevented it. Polesworth s r Account of j^or is Polesworth more correct, or more candid, the three * ' Misbegotten in what he says of the three impudent Hussies, whom Sluts, Pole- J r ' mia, Dis- he calls Mrs. Bull s Daughters,* than in what he says lisuria', coi- of Mrs. Bull, and of the Parson's preaching against reeled. * Polemia, Discordia, TJsuria. 335 Adultery. These Sluts are notoriously known to be Book 7.ch.6. the Natural Daughters of the Steward himself, or of some of his Clerks in Office ;— the fruit of that infa- mous Commerce carried on betAveen the Steward's Of fice and Mrs. Bull's Houshold. — About which and the foul loathsome disease it has introduced, and almost universally diffused, we shall soon have lamentable occasion to speak. — It is true, Mrs. Bull, partly from good nature, and partly from not being entire Mistress of her own affairs, has permitted them to be brought up in the Family ; and has been willing to bestoiv some education upon them, and taken some pains to correct and restrain their bad propensities ; but with little suc cess. Polemia, said to be the oldest of these Brim stones, is notoriously known to be the Steward's own Daughter, and a great favorite with her Father. Usuria, the youngest, is suspected to belong to the Major Domo. As to Discordia it is not so clear to whom she owes the Paternal Relation, only it is perfectly understood to be some one about the. Steward's Office. Some indeed reckon this to be much the Oldest of the three Sisters. Nay some will have her to be the Mother of Miss Po lemia herself. But enough of such Sluts. 336 Book 7. ch. 7. ClIAP. VII. Contents The Union of the two Manors of Albion and Caledonia — a Transaction of great Partiality and Intrigue— The Caledonian Manor merely betrayed, and sold — The Event, however, fortunate for both Manors. The Union nERE we must mention a matter, certainly of great of the two Manors, &c. importance, which was omitted in its immediate place. We have seen the Affairs of the two Manors of Albion and Caledonia for some time conducted tinder one Steward. But still each Manor retained its own Laws, Customs, Courts Leet, and Courts Baron, and a separate Office for the business of the Stewardship Avas kept for each upon the respective Manors. Seve ral unsuccessful attempts had at different times been made to unite the two Families and two Manors, and to make them coalesce entirely, as a joint Stock Company, and to have all the Business of both done in one Of fice; but, in accomplishing this, innumerable difficul ties occurred. Under Nan's Stewardship, however, The union, the Business was happily accomplished. I say, hap pily — for though the Affair was conducted with the most palpable and shameful partiality, bribery, faction, and treachery, on the one part and on the other ; and — conducted though Sandy's Interests were most notoriously bought most shame- and sold, both by his own Agents and those of his An- ty, briberyjlag°mst 5 yet has the Event in the whole proved highly and coruP-advantageous for both Families> And both Manors have since advanced greatly in wealth and Improve ment. And were it not for the insatiable all-devour ing rapacity of the Steward's Office, Avould undoubt- 337 edly be the most thriving, and best cultivated Estate, Book 7. ch. 7. and the Richest and most happy people, in the whole Country round. Though the Caledonian Manor is less favorably situated, and in many parts of it less capable of Cul ture, than the Albion Manor ; yet the Family being a hardy, vigorous, industrious, and enterprising Race, inured to frugality and patience, Sandy had managed to keep himself independent, and his Estate clear of incumbrances; and so to lower his crest to no man. On the contrary, John Bull, sinse the first Accession of a Foreign SteAvard, and the connection with Affairs on Terrafirm, in which it had implicated him, was in cumbered Avith a load of Debts, daily increasing through the boundless profusion of the SteAvard's Office, and the luxurious Manners and Habits lately contracted by the family ; for all which debts Sandy found he should be equally answerable, and in all tlieir consequences he should be equally involved, if the proposed Union took place. Besides, as the Albion Manor was much the largest, the richest, and best inhabited, and the Steward had constantly resided on it, and held his Of fice there, since the SteAvardships had been united; — it was evident the Lesser Manor Avould become a mere appendage to the Greater. From all these considera tions, Sandy and the Genuine Caledonians strenuously resisted the Union, and spurned the proposed Condi tions ; some even talked of forswearing their Family and Country for ever, rather than submit to such de gradation. But Delegates for carrying the Business into effect had been appointed ; and these, supported by the interested and intriguing partisans on both XX 338 Book 7. ch. 7. sides, went on with the Work, and concluded it, re gardless of the general repugnance and discontent. Of this Union, or Coalition ; or rather, Bargain and Sale ; the most shameful and degrading Conditions The Condi- were the following. In the Lower Chamber of Mrs. tions most n shamefully Bull's Houshold Office, which was noAV become the Degrading _ for the Cale- principal Organ of all Business that concerned the or. Families, and was to be composed of the joint Repre sentatives of both, and where every thing is decided by a majority of Votes, the Number of Representatives allowed to the Caledonian Manor was something less than one Twelfth of the whole. And while not the smallest alteration Avas made in the Representation or Constitution of the Albion Manor, and every little Ham let of perhaps not a dozen inhabitants, continued to send its two Delegates to the Palaverium ; the Repre sentation and Constitution of the Caledonian Manor was entirely changed, and five or six of the principal towns and most populous parishes, containing perhaps 10,000 Inhabitants, were allowed jointly to send one Delegate to represent them. So that whenever the In terest of the two Families interfered, Sandy was sure to have twelve to one against him. Indeed this Article was alone sufficient to decide the whole Matter ; and by it alone the very Name and Independent Existence of the Caledonian Family and Manor were extin guished, and all entirely consigned over to the disposal of John Bull and his Steward for ever. The few De legates reserved, serving merely for a channel of Stew ardical Conveyance, for diffusing Influence and Cor ruption through the Manor and among the rest of the Family, and now in fact serve no other purpose. 339 With respect to the Upper Chamber of Mrs. Book 7. ch. 7. Bull's Office the case was, if possible, still Avorse, and the degradation more palpable and personal, — the num ber of the Caledonian Family admitted into it not amounting to one twentieth of the whole. This Cham ber consists constitutionally of the Titulates, or sup posed Better Sort, who had some particular distinction or title added to their Name, — originally the mark of some personal Achievement, or Official Trust, — noAV the mere compliment of the SteAvard ; generally the re ward of adulation and servility. Hence we have dis tinguished them by the Name of Titulates. These ar« properly the successors of the antient Men of Renown, Avho on account of some Great or Good Actions per formed by them, after they became known in the World, had a second Name conferred upon them, ex pressive of their Character, and were therefore called Renominati — or Re-named — the Demigods and Heroes of Antiquity. Their Successors, ah ! how unlike. In this Upper Chamber, then, all Titulates had by prescription a right to a seat and Vote ; and all those of John Bull's Family did Sit and Vote in it. But of the Caledonian Family only a few, not amounting as we have said, to a twentieth of the whole Chamber, The Union, were to be chosen nominally by the rest of the Titu- &c- lates, but in fact, by the Steward's Office, and to be permitted to sit in the Upper Chamber. For to such servile degradation were these Caledonian Titulates de based, that the Steward or his Clerks send them, as above noticed, a List of Names called the SteAvard's List, with a mandate to choose them and no others; which is generally complied with. xx 2 340 Book 7. ch. 7. Now, to put an end to this disgraceful insult, it would surely be a proper Rule, and acting worthy of the Antient Caledonian Spirit, to make it a point that whoever else should be chosen, not one of the prescribed List should be admitted. Especially as beside the in solence of the attempt to prescribe on such an occasion, it will generally be found, that the prescribed List will consist of the most unprincipled, and most servilely devoted to all the Steward's ends and purposes ; which •are too often in direct opposition to the real Interest and prosperity of the Family and Manor, to whom the Mandate is sent. But of all these disgraceful Conditions, perhaps the most disgraceful and certainly the most efficacious, was, that a large sum of Money was proposed to be The pretended immediately paid ; and Avas accepted, as the price of ^,'"p|n5aa'J .all this treachery and degradation of Character and pabie Bribe. Rank. It is true, this sum was stipulated for, on both sides, nominally as a Compensation for the proportion of John Bull's Debts, which it would fall to Sandy's share to pay the Interest of, and discharge the Prin cipal, if ever it is discharged — and also, as a Remune ration for the loss of the Istmian Adventure — a nefa rious Transaction, in which the Caledonians Avere most shamefully sacrificed to the Jealousy and Interest of the Bull Family, and many of them entirely ruined ; and this, with, at least, the connivance of the Steward. This Compensation consisting of some hundreds of thousands of Pounds was indeed a great sum, and no doubt a great temptation, for Sandy's Agents at that time. But it was ridiculous to call a sum that was to be immediately paid, and squandered among a feAv In- 341 dividuals, a Compensation for a Debt for which every Book i. ch. 7. individual on the Manor was become responsible, is bound for at this day, and will be burdened with to the latest generation. But the real fact is, this sum was a mere bribe, by the certain share of some in it, and the hopes of others, to blind the understanding, and buy the Justice and Honour of the Leading Men among them ; and so to get rid of their opposition on the pre sent occasion, — which it effectually accomplished. Another consequence of this Union highly de grading and injurious to the Caledonian Manor and Family, was, that the Steward's Office was left for ever fixed on the Albion Manor ; to which, in consequence, all the wealth and treasure of the Country flowed in a continual stream. And though some may regurgitate back again, it is but in a small proportion. Had there been any regard to impartiality or justice, to the In terest or Dignity of the Caledonian Family, it would have been made a sine qua non in the Treaty, that the Steward should reside, and hold his Office and Courts at certain times, and for certain periods, at Edina, thc Great Mansion House of the Caledonian Manor ; such as one year in five ; or, to avoid frequent removals, for four years in every twenty. But, as if to compensate the above disadvantages, The induigen- some very pernicious concessions were granted, in the not less per- J r " - nicious than continuation of the Antient Laws and Courts, and the the injurie« absurd formal artificial Mode of practice and proceed ing in them. But this, more to elude the Opposition of an impbrtunate and procacious set of Men, occupied in these Courts, and to leave some objects of emulation for the aspiring and ambitious, than with a view to any inferred. 342 Book 7. ch. 7. advantage of the Family in general. For scarce in any thing could a Coalescence have been more advantage ous to the Caledonian Family, than to have obtained an entire assimilation with the Albion Constitution in all the Laws, Customs, and Municipal Privileges of the Albion Manor : where it must be confessed the Laws are both more favorable to the Freedom and Rights of the Family in general, and better administered than on the Caledonian Manor. One point more must by no means be forgotten The Choice of here. — That special care was taken in this Treaty to Dress "e'sptv secure to each the undisturbed use of their own Holiday cured. se~ Dress or Sunday's Suit. Nor can this be reckoned ei ther a superfluous, or an unimportant Provision, — con sidering the shocking work the Differences about this Matter had made even so lately on Sandy's Manor. End of the Fibst Part. J. Dr&kanl, Printer, Stamford. Speedily mill be published, "THE SECOND PART OF JOHN BULL'S BIBLE, lie. «fc. Bringing down these Memoirs to the Astonishing and Interesting Events of the Present Day. 3 9002 00931 2100